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Dwarf Fortress => DF Dwarf Mode Discussion => Topic started by: Felius on April 20, 2009, 09:10:01 pm

Title: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Felius on April 20, 2009, 09:10:01 pm
Well, to share the face palming moment you had. To qualify it's must be something that when you saw it you facepalmed in your own stupidity/obliviousness...

Well, to start, mine:
I have been building a out of the mountain wall to encircle the entrance and work for the outside needs of my dwarves. Ok, after I had built the entire wall, the second store floors, a barracks over the main gate, etc. I finally discover that, well, you can built constructions more than one tile at a time. Yes, after building a few hundred tiles with painstakingly micromanagement, I discover that I could have done that with a tenth of the work...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Elvang on April 20, 2009, 09:18:02 pm
For awhile I was oblivious to the mass forbid/dump/melt features; I spent more time with the game paused after a siege marking stuff than the siege lasted.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AncientEnemy on April 20, 2009, 09:18:57 pm
discovering the d->b menu.

oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Michaelsoftman on April 20, 2009, 09:42:01 pm
Quote from: AncientEnemy on April 20, 2009, 09:18:57 pm
discovering the d->b menu.

oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones

Oh man same here for me.

I remember digging out a large room, and then sighing as I would press 'k' then I'd press right, D, right, D, right, D etc etc until i marked like 200 stones for dumping.

Then someone showed me mass dumping...  I love that man.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deracination on April 20, 2009, 09:46:09 pm
Figuring out the caging system, but only after two Ogre-related incidents. Apparently dwarves living off of -dwarven ale- and +dwarven ale roast+ don't have the cognitive skills to realize that they can't transfer a raging Ogre from cage to cage by hand. I've been a lot more careful with similar tasks since....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jack_Bread on April 20, 2009, 10:41:19 pm
I had a HUGE defense for a siege. When one had occurred, I locked the gates and set up defense. I didn't notice the opening that connected my fortress to my farm. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sir_Geo on April 20, 2009, 10:49:02 pm
After I designated the entire first underground level on my ice castle (including the moat) then realizing that the left side was 1 tile to the left.
Also: the mass designating menu saved me so much freaking time (also the UKMH keys)
...and forgetting to unforbid the seed that was stuck in the door that let in a siege kill half my fortress   :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: inaluct on April 20, 2009, 10:50:15 pm
Quote from: AncientEnemy on April 20, 2009, 09:18:57 pm
discovering the d->b menu.

oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones
AUUUUUUGH
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Foa on April 20, 2009, 10:50:56 pm
When I figured out that I could use my mouse for designating things...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: InsanityPrelude on April 20, 2009, 11:21:49 pm
I haven't figured out how to do that yet.  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aspgren on April 20, 2009, 11:22:29 pm
When I noticed I could give orders to my dwarves NOT to run into goblin arrows, trying to get their equipment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fossaman on April 20, 2009, 11:43:29 pm
Hehe, you think those mass designation facepalms are bad...

Used to be you literally could not do that. The feature did not exist.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Marko on April 21, 2009, 01:13:46 am
causing a cave-in over a magma pipe to 'see what happens' then found out 10 z levels down that I had dug right up along the magma pipe, and the cave-in punctured the roof through all that magma, which sent red hot death flowing through my living quarters
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neruz on April 21, 2009, 01:19:35 am
Deciding to sell a captured Dragon (stored next to my booze stockpile) to the Elves for kicks.

Yeahh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Caz on April 21, 2009, 01:35:49 am
Quote from: Fossaman on April 20, 2009, 11:43:29 pm
Hehe, you think those mass designation facepalms are bad...

Used to be you literally could not do that. The feature did not exist.

This.


Oh the pain. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Retales on April 21, 2009, 06:44:41 am
First, discovering that Spirits of Fire don't trigger traps... *facepalm*
Second, discovering that Spirits of Fire destroy doors... *facepalm*
Finally, discovering that Spirits of Fire vapourize water near them and set dwarves on fire... *facepalming spree!*

Like you might figure out, all three of those happened within a rather small timespan.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tormy on April 21, 2009, 08:04:16 am
Facepalm moments? I tend to make some serious errors occasionally...Example: Flooding my fortress accidentally, after 2+ years of playing with DF? Now that is a facepalm moment. Thankfully I don't make serious errors on a daily basis, but it happens sometimes.  ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hydra on April 21, 2009, 08:06:10 am
Quote from: AncientEnemy on April 20, 2009, 09:18:57 pm
discovering the d->b menu.

oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones

Same :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Paranatural on April 21, 2009, 08:20:51 am
Quote from: Elvang on April 20, 2009, 09:18:02 pm
For awhile I was oblivious to the mass forbid/dump/melt features; I spent more time with the game paused after a siege marking stuff than the siege lasted.

Wait, do what now? How the hell do you do that? Man, I've wasted forever after all these orc sieges melting crap!

Quote
When I figured out that I could use my mouse for designating things...

Wait, you can use the mouse with DF?

Quote
oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones
Dumping stones? What's that mean?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: salttotart on April 21, 2009, 08:29:16 am
Quote from: Paranatural on April 21, 2009, 08:20:51 am
Quote from: Elvang on April 20, 2009, 09:18:02 pm
For awhile I was oblivious to the mass forbid/dump/melt features; I spent more time with the game paused after a siege marking stuff than the siege lasted.

Wait, do what now? How the hell do you do that? Man, I've wasted forever after all these orc sieges melting crap!

Quote
When I figured out that I could use my mouse for designating things...

Wait, you can use the mouse with DF?

Quote
oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones
Dumping stones? What's that mean?


Wow, either you are the most clueless person here or a sarcastic idiot for trying to make people feel even more stupid.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lesconrads on April 21, 2009, 08:32:25 am
I now know about mass-forbidding items... I kinda have the urge to raise my hand and accelerate it towards my forehead

I did know about mouse-designation, but i don't use it at all... it's just not working well enough
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThtblovesDF on April 21, 2009, 09:19:04 am
Evry time it is possible for a dwarf to build himself behind a wall I have reason to facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nirodragon on April 21, 2009, 10:42:27 am
Having caves revealed and embarking with one in the corner of the embark zone, only to have my dwarves spawn right by the entrance while all FIVE legendary giant inhabitants are out for sun.

I think it took about 10 seconds, but
Code: [Select]
Your fort has crumbled to its end.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kefkakrazy on April 21, 2009, 10:55:11 am
When I build towers, I generally build with up/down staircases on all four corners, inside and outside, with squares of floors that have each staircase as a corner. This is scaffolding for the walls. It makes it much easier to, for example, go in later and add pipes for the magma to come out and visit justice upon the heathen.

After building a magma tower, which took years and this building method probably tripled the work involved, I decided to use bridges instead of floors for the water tower. Which involves about a quarter the work, even considering the time factor for building the bridges. So yeah.


Better ones: Sparring accidents (DAMN YOU CHAMPIONS!), flooding (DAMN YOU DIAGONAL FLOWS!), and for some reason, the mayor position in my current fort is cursed such that the mayor always seems to lose his wife and kids shortly after being elected.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dood_ on April 21, 2009, 11:15:31 am
Pulling the wrong lever, and the subsequent drowning of everyone. Bar two fishermen.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: highholyme on April 21, 2009, 11:18:10 am
Using stone stockpiles to clear out my other stockpiles before I  was informed of the dumping menu. <facepalm>

Losing my entire fort to one GCS due to not understanding the forbid menu. <facepalm>

And recently I mined out a small bit of a frozen river then backtracked to put in floodgates and controls... while I was waiting for the dorfs to put in the gates the river started to thaw... Needless to say it didn't turn out well. <facepalm>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Teferi on April 21, 2009, 12:31:13 pm
discovering that wells could be more than one z-level deep. had one fort with a rather nice aqueduct system in one fort going up three z-levels
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Moron on April 21, 2009, 12:54:19 pm
Just had a face palm moment when testing a mod I'm working on: I realised that no matter how big and bronze-colossus-like you make your invaders, an ordinary goblin with a bow is more dangerous.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: azazel on April 21, 2009, 01:01:55 pm
Quote from: Paranatural on April 21, 2009, 08:20:51 am
Quote from: Elvang on April 20, 2009, 09:18:02 pm
For awhile I was oblivious to the mass forbid/dump/melt features; I spent more time with the game paused after a siege marking stuff than the siege lasted.

Wait, do what now? How the hell do you do that? Man, I've wasted forever after all these orc sieges melting crap!
d->b->m lets you designate an area where all meltable objects will be designated for melting.
likewise, d->b->d will dump all objects in a garbage dump

Quote
Quote
When I figured out that I could use my mouse for designating things...

Wait, you can use the mouse with DF?
Yes, but I find it rather useless myself, since you can't click-and-drag an area.
Quote
Quote
oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones
Dumping stones? What's that mean?
Press i, designate an area (end with enter), then you can choose what the area is. g selects garbage dump, and if you select stones for dumping, they will get moved to that area instead of litter your stockpile rooms and whatnot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThtblovesDF on April 21, 2009, 01:04:24 pm
Playing, embarking, my cats explode. Whoooooooooooooooops forgot that one....
Same fort, a year later, Orcs come on the map... and explode.

I guess I was a bit overexicted with hometherm...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skorpion on April 21, 2009, 01:07:41 pm
Mass designations.

Mass constructions.

Mass stone selections for constructions.

Realising I had a horrendously complex water-powered system for pumping water and magma with lots of levers and pumps and no idea what did what.

When I discovered I could colour-code workshops.

Miasma avoidance through OUTDOOR BUTCHERY.

That my current fort was running out of booze because I just wasn't making enough plants.
Running out of barrels because I was making too many plants and prepared meals.

Making soap and realising that it's virtually useless.

Realising that playing DF was painful because I'd dislocated a finger at karate training.
(This usually happens every few weeks. I've discovered I can knock them back into joint by holding them right and flexing the finger. It goes crunch quietly and it suddenly moves easier and less painfully.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Benitosimies on April 21, 2009, 01:32:09 pm
A siege occurs; I decree that only soldiers can go outside.

Every plebe dwarf three squares from the entrance runs further outside and has their legs broken and dogs murdered by hammergoblins.

I guess if dwarves are already outside they don't think to run inside past all the cage traps they put in for just this purpose.

It is for this reason that I read 'Fisherdwarf' as 'Lone Victim'.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Marko on April 21, 2009, 01:42:18 pm
Quote from: Hydra on April 21, 2009, 08:06:10 am
Quote from: AncientEnemy on April 20, 2009, 09:18:57 pm
discovering the d->b menu.

oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones

Same :)

just had a face-palm moment after finding that out right now! :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: wigwam on April 21, 2009, 01:46:50 pm
Digging into a river during the winter (THROUGH my fortress), then forgetting to build a wall again to keep the water in the brook. I didn't notice until I got spammed the "Urist McHauler cancels (whatever): Dangerous terrain." Of course, at the same time, I also figured out that bauxite floodgates with rhyolite mechanisms work great! Until you open them, that is. At that point, my fortress was getting flooded with two liquids from opposite ends. I thought that deserved a facepalm with both hands at once.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheDJ17 on April 21, 2009, 02:53:18 pm
That Tower Caps only grow when you have a river.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Duke 2.0 on April 21, 2009, 03:03:43 pm
 Shift+Move on a designation cursor must take into account the tile the cursor is already on.

 A good 300+ stone wall had to be moved after THAT mistake.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Paranatural on April 21, 2009, 03:38:00 pm
Quote
d->b->m lets you designate an area where all meltable objects will be designated for melting. likewise, d->b->d will dump all objects in a garbage dump

Quote
When I figured out that I could use my mouse for designating things...
Quote
Wait, you can use the mouse with DF?
Yes, but I find it rather useless myself, since you can't click-and-drag an area.
Quote
Quote
oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones
Dumping stones? What's that mean?
Press i, designate an area (end with enter), then you can choose what the area is. g selects garbage dump, and if you select stones for dumping, they will get moved to that area instead of litter your stockpile rooms and whatnot.
[/quote]

Thanks!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Itnetlolor on April 21, 2009, 03:50:56 pm
I lost my 2nd fortress due to dehydration because I didn't know about designating drinking zones.

It was a pretty good start too. :(

EDIT:
I also felt really dumb when I had very little food and drink in my fortress, but could easily see a ton that was unclaimed. Turns out I forgot to reset (O)rders back to picking them up again.

My stocks tripled after the facepalming.

BTW- there was an incident that required me to forbid or something, or it auto-forbade things once made or something. My head was buried in my desk in shame.

(And please, don't ask about my first fort.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zona on April 21, 2009, 04:17:19 pm
Quote from: Teferi on April 21, 2009, 12:31:13 pm
discovering that wells could be more than one z-level deep. had one fort with a rather nice aqueduct system in one fort going up three z-levels

Wait... What?

*Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kalida99 on April 21, 2009, 04:24:24 pm
When i realized booze exploded...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Livonya on April 21, 2009, 05:29:07 pm
Here is my most recent face plant moment.

I have made 5 attempts at building a 35 to 40 level obsidian tower that is about 40x40 squares per level.  They always end with some disaster. 

My strategy is to hollow out my tower, and then fill one level at a time with lava, slowly building up a solid tower of obsidian that can then be dug out.

During my 4th attempt I decided that it would be easier to pump water from the bottom level of my fortress because the water pressure will keep the area under the pump filled so that the water pumps faster.

So I dig 23 levels down (23 40x40 levels!).  I build the infrastructure to re-route the river, and the pump house.  This takes about 2 years in game time.  I am essentially doing nothing else.

I then release the river only to realize that the water pressure which I was thinking would help me pump faster also fills my tower with water. 

So now I have 23 levels dug out, but 14 of them are filled with water.

Duh.

I am now on my 5th attempt.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sowelu on April 21, 2009, 05:37:11 pm
Quote from: Felius on April 20, 2009, 09:10:01 pm
you can built constructions more than one tile at a time.

What?  HOW?  o_o

Impending facepalm...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jim Groovester on April 21, 2009, 07:03:13 pm
Finding out just what those items in purple are on the trade screen.

Figuring out why I was losing masterpiece wood items when all my stockpiles were next to a magma pool.

Combating giant bats by stationing champion wrestlers adjacent to the chasm.

Using ramps to dig out a frozen aquifer.

Quote from: Sowelu on April 21, 2009, 05:37:11 pm
Quote from: Felius on April 20, 2009, 09:10:01 pm
you can built constructions more than one tile at a time.

What?  HOW?  o_o

When building walls and floors and the like, use uhkm to change dimensions.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Icarus on April 21, 2009, 07:38:20 pm
First: Not reading up on water pressure. My well flooded all my sleeping dwarves.
Second: Giving Champion an Artifact Adamantine Axe and setting him to spar with a peasant
Third: Realizing Floodgates don't stop HFS
Fourth: Setting the order "Dwarves gather outside Refuse" when there were dozens of corpses near 2 GCS
(http://img22.imageshack.us/img22/4124/extremefacepalm.jpg) (http://img22.imageshack.us/my.php?image=extremefacepalm.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: salttotart on April 21, 2009, 07:41:04 pm
Quote from: Paranatural on April 21, 2009, 03:38:00 pm
Quote
d->b->m lets you designate an area where all meltable objects will be designated for melting. likewise, d->b->d will dump all objects in a garbage dump

Quote
When I figured out that I could use my mouse for designating things...
Quote
Wait, you can use the mouse with DF?
Yes, but I find it rather useless myself, since you can't click-and-drag an area.
Quote
Quote
oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones
Dumping stones? What's that mean?
Press i, designate an area (end with enter), then you can choose what the area is. g selects garbage dump, and if you select stones for dumping, they will get moved to that area instead of litter your stockpile rooms and whatnot.

Thanks!
[/quote]

And now I feel like an idiot myself.  I really thought you were trying to poke fun at the earlier posters.  My extreme apologizes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on April 21, 2009, 08:32:43 pm
Quote from: salttotart on April 21, 2009, 07:41:04 pm
And now I feel like an idiot myself.  I really thought you were trying to poke fun at the earlier posters.  My extreme apologizes.
It happens to even the best of us.  I did some really dumb things, but I forget what they were.  I had several lizardmen not be able to do anything because they start adventuring naked.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Alrenous on April 21, 2009, 08:36:46 pm
Quote from: azazel on April 21, 2009, 01:01:55 pm
Quote
Wait, you can use the mouse with DF?
Yes, but I find it rather useless myself, since you can't click-and-drag an area.

Right click, enter, right click somewhere else, enter. Try it, see if it works for you.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on April 21, 2009, 08:37:23 pm
Quote from: Alrenous on April 21, 2009, 08:36:46 pm
Quote from: azazel on April 21, 2009, 01:01:55 pm
Quote
Wait, you can use the mouse with DF?
Yes, but I find it rather useless myself, since you can't click-and-drag an area.
Right click, enter, right click somewhere else, enter. Try it, see if it works for you.
That works.  It is rather clunky though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kg333 on April 21, 2009, 11:20:04 pm
Quote from: Skorpion on April 21, 2009, 01:07:41 pm
When I discovered I could colour-code workshops.

Like the guys above me said:  Wait, what?  [facepalm]  How do you do that?

KG
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Teferi on April 21, 2009, 11:54:46 pm
Quote from: Zona on April 21, 2009, 04:17:19 pm
Quote from: Teferi on April 21, 2009, 12:31:13 pm
discovering that wells could be more than one z-level deep. had one fort with a rather nice aqueduct system in one fort going up three z-levels

Wait... What?

*Facepalm*

Well I had thought that the well bottom needed to be 1 z-level below the actual well and this one fort had a brook a few z levels below the entrance so, I build and aqueduct of windmills, pumps and walls to get the water up to my desired z-level. I have pics somewhere around:
(http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd164/Teferi_01/Dwarffortscreenshot3-1.jpg)
(http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd164/Teferi_01/Dwarffortscreenshot4-1.jpg)
(http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd164/Teferi_01/Dwarffortscreenshot5.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Icarus on April 22, 2009, 08:09:41 am
-edit-
WRONG TOPIC *FACEPALM*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rolan7 on April 22, 2009, 02:42:11 pm
First time I saw the trade screen, I saw a bunch of cool stuff I wanted (like food and wood), so I selected it.  All I had was a valuable anvil I didn't know how to use, so I offered them that.  With the offer command.  Ok, now how do I request a good in exchange... oh.  Crap.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Creamcorn on April 22, 2009, 03:20:22 pm
Quote from: Rolan7 on April 22, 2009, 02:42:11 pm
First time I saw the trade screen, I saw a bunch of cool stuff I wanted (like food and wood), so I selected it.  All I had was a valuable anvil I didn't know how to use, so I offered them that.  With the offer command.  Ok, now how do I request a good in exchange... oh.  Crap.

Yeah, understanding trading is a fairly large hurdle, about everything everyone mentioned to me I pretty much got after playing for only about a month, I only used the wiki once and that was for fort mode which was during my first fortress; if I ever do need questions answered I will post it on the forums.

The reason I got into DF so easily was from hours of many different rouge likes, I remember practicly all of ADOM's extended commands too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mithra on April 22, 2009, 04:10:27 pm
Quote from: kg333 on April 21, 2009, 11:20:04 pm
Quote from: Skorpion on April 21, 2009, 01:07:41 pm
When I discovered I could colour-code workshops.

Like the guys above me said:  Wait, what?  [facepalm]  How do you do that?

KG

I'm ready for my facepalm on this one too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sonerohi on April 22, 2009, 04:54:30 pm
You have to use different colored stones to build them. There are various accents that go with the building that are colored like the stone used to build them.


My biggest would have to be when I discovered gremlins can pull levers. I made a massive amount of 'Just in case' levers that would be able to quarantine, and then subsequently both flood and drain, certain parts of my fort. The only time I saw a gremlin with 17 kills to its name.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ririka on April 22, 2009, 07:11:09 pm
While trying to change a dwarf's name with Dwarf Companion, I accidentally turned the dwarf into a toad.

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Name Lips on April 22, 2009, 11:42:27 pm
When I selected my entire fort for smoothing...

...and wondered why three months later my farms had stopped producing...

...turns out you can't grow food on smooth stone. Rather, you CAN, but as soon as it gets muddy some industrious dwarf will run on over and clean it up (with no tools, I can only assume he's eating it).

The only time they seem to be efficient cleaners, too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Icarus on April 23, 2009, 07:24:15 am
Quote from: Name Lips on April 22, 2009, 11:42:27 pm
When I selected my entire fort for smoothing...

...and wondered why three months later my farms had stopped producing...

...turns out you can't grow food on smooth stone. Rather, you CAN, but as soon as it gets muddy some industrious dwarf will run on over and clean it up (with no tools, I can only assume he's eating it).

The only time they seem to be efficient cleaners, too.

[Urist Mcdougal cancels plant seeds. Using cat as mop.]
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: salttotart on April 23, 2009, 01:14:31 pm
Quote from: Icarus on April 23, 2009, 07:24:15 am
Quote from: Name Lips on April 22, 2009, 11:42:27 pm
When I selected my entire fort for smoothing...

...and wondered why three months later my farms had stopped producing...

...turns out you can't grow food on smooth stone. Rather, you CAN, but as soon as it gets muddy some industrious dwarf will run on over and clean it up (with no tools, I can only assume he's eating it).

The only time they seem to be efficient cleaners, too.

[Urist Mcdougal cancels plant seeds. Using cat as mop.]
Well, when you have so goddamn many of them...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord_Shadow on April 23, 2009, 01:30:06 pm
two face palm moments in one hour of play!!! (for me)

learning about partial print, then realizing i can play with temperature on, so i turn that on, then realizing i built every flood gate and pump of a magma pump system to make a magma fall out of, of non magma safe materials. That was fortress number 5. (1 whats a wet stone?, 2 whats a hot stone?, 3 how does a pump work?, 4 that is alot of goblins!)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: azazel on April 23, 2009, 04:21:16 pm
Quote from: Name Lips on April 22, 2009, 11:42:27 pm
When I selected my entire fort for smoothing...

...and wondered why three months later my farms had stopped producing...

...turns out you can't grow food on smooth stone. Rather, you CAN, but as soon as it gets muddy some industrious dwarf will run on over and clean it up (with no tools, I can only assume he's eating it).

The only time they seem to be efficient cleaners, too.
Build a floor over the smoothed floor, remove said floor, and you should get the soil layer back.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sonerohi on April 23, 2009, 06:36:21 pm
Note that he said mud. He muddied some stone. Meaning that he will have to re-irrigate, because the constructions will divert it back to 'un-smoothed ________ floor'
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: azazel on April 23, 2009, 06:40:34 pm
Quote from: sonerohi on April 23, 2009, 06:36:21 pm
Note that he said mud. He muddied some stone. Meaning that he will have to re-irrigate, because the constructions will divert it back to 'un-smoothed ________ floor'

Ooooh, indeed. /facepalm. So sorry.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on April 23, 2009, 07:22:29 pm
Quote from: azazel on April 23, 2009, 06:40:34 pm
Quote from: sonerohi on April 23, 2009, 06:36:21 pm
Note that he said mud. He muddied some stone. Meaning that he will have to re-irrigate, because the constructions will divert it back to 'un-smoothed ________ floor'
Ooooh, indeed. /facepalm. So sorry.
Which will still work.  He just needs to re-muddy it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shurikane on April 24, 2009, 07:43:20 am
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v458/Shurikane/dumbass.gif)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hagadorn on April 24, 2009, 07:50:32 am
Quote from: Shurikane on April 24, 2009, 07:43:20 am
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v458/Shurikane/dumbass.gif)


This picture reminds me of Curtin universities architecture Department Building...

(I predict all of... 2 people getting that)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThtblovesDF on April 24, 2009, 07:51:00 am
(http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c335/Ezimodnar/channel.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neruz on April 24, 2009, 07:57:50 am
Urist Bin Laden?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kotekzot on April 24, 2009, 08:08:18 am
Quote from: Neruz on April 24, 2009, 07:57:50 am
Urist Bin Laden?
Urist McAWESOME
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Icarus on April 24, 2009, 08:15:39 am
DEM DORFS MAN.
DEM DORFS.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neruz on April 24, 2009, 08:25:22 am
Quote from: kotekzot on April 24, 2009, 08:08:18 am
Quote from: Neruz on April 24, 2009, 07:57:50 am
Urist Bin Laden?
Urist McAWESOME
If he flies a skeletal giant eagle into the side of somones megaproject i called it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haven on April 24, 2009, 08:44:42 am
Grates fix everything.

Well, not everything. Just dwarves getting stuck in high places. Still, though, they beat building a floor.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Osmosis Jones on April 24, 2009, 08:46:53 am
Quote from: Hagadorn on April 24, 2009, 07:50:32 am
This picture reminds me of Curtin universities architecture Department Building...

(I predict all of... 2 people getting that)


I hate that building, I swear you have to go up to about the 5th floor to reach the third. Apparently there's an entire corridor of offices up there somewhere that were locked up in the 80s and forgotten about.


Incidentally, what subject do you do (I'm nanotechnology honours)?




On topic, the time I connected my 10 z level self powered pumping array, and realised (as my fort started to overflow) I'd neglected an off switch, and the necessary assemblies were now 3 z levels under water.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SomGuye on April 24, 2009, 11:21:21 am
Quote from: Jim Groovester on April 21, 2009, 07:03:13 pm
Finding out just what those items in purple are on the trade screen.

Figuring out why I was losing masterpiece wood items when all my stockpiles were next to a magma pool.

Combating giant bats by stationing champion wrestlers adjacent to the chasm.

Using ramps to dig out a frozen aquifer.

Quote from: Sowelu on April 21, 2009, 05:37:11 pm
Quote from: Felius on April 20, 2009, 09:10:01 pm
you can built constructions more than one tile at a time.

What?  HOW?  o_o

When building walls and floors and the like, use uhkm to change dimensions.

You gotta be kidding me!

Dammit!

/Palm-Face
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on April 24, 2009, 06:16:31 pm
And Shift + Enter to select the first however many stones in a group of stones.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nerserus on April 24, 2009, 06:27:52 pm
Well, i sent my crossbowdwarf out ( He had ALOT of experience under his belt ) to fight the "Chosen Warrior" ambush. Damn, i realised too late they were epic. As a sort of prologue:

 i assumed the merchant dwarves they attacked would kill them off easily ( The "Chosen Warrior" group was Wrestlers ) the merchants got pwned. Hard. Cocky that my Markswarf would win i sent him out to save the merchant ( He was the ONLY survivor ) and, it showed how messed up the "running" A.I really was. At first he spam fired, hitting the chosen axeman ( The only armed one ) in the throat and heart, amazingly kept going until he eventually bled out, never passed out. Then, he was out of bolts. What does Urist Mcarcher do? "Well, 'dem might be tough demons that kill armoured melee dwarves for sport, but being a Marksdwarf i'll for some reason do better!" I know this is to be expected, but it's what happened AFTER that was retarded:

He dodged the first wrestler, INTO, the second one, and was stuck in between them, by some miracle he got out with only a broken arm, and he and the merchant ran up the hills to my fort, easily out running them. Suddenly. The marksdwarf was like "Wait a minute. I have a broken arm, i'm rapidly losing conciousness, BUT. For some reason i reckon...I CAN TAKE THEM!" so, he runs all the way back. Bam. One hit kill. I don't think this guy deserves a grave.

EDIT: Interestingly, i sent out his partner, even HE couldn't defeat them. Though before he fell, a recruit, i didn't even remember i recruited, jumped The Chosen. I got his coffin ready, but to my surprise: He kicked. Their. ASS!
It seems a legend was born from two who died, he charged, all of them down and defeated them. Not a scratch.
He slaughtered them, with less armour, less skill, and less hope, he charged in what seemed a futile revenge tactic. But nay, he killed every last one of them. As a reward i outfitted him with the armour of the fallen caravan gaurds, i now know who shall defend my people from the tidal wave of enemies, and who is becoming my sherrif. :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on April 24, 2009, 06:43:46 pm
Fleeing A.I.?

I flooded my fort, on a slightly related note.  Not really related.

Trying to make this post useful.  In any shape or form.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mindmaker on May 01, 2009, 11:22:46 am
I was preparing for my first Goblin Siege.
Most of my troops were average guys, but I also gut one epic axelord.
So I equipped him with the best steel plate mail, and the best steel axe i could craft.
Guess what?
He drowned during sparring.
There was a 1 Tile wide lake in my sparring area i hadn't seen when i set it up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Leafsnail on May 01, 2009, 11:44:29 am
When I realised that almost every bed in my entire fortress is too close to a workshop.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Razin on May 01, 2009, 11:25:33 pm
I was setting up a very elaborate (by my standards) pre-planned fort. Now, this was easily the best map I have ever gotten (chasm, magma, Chalk and Marble layers, coal and lignite, a dense forest, sand, an underground river, and near constant rainfall.  I struggled with this map (as in 2 separate embarks and about 3-4 reclaim efforts each time)  due to the presence of 4-6 GCS living in various places where the chasm (which ran  N <--> S across nearly the whole massive cliff face ) reached the surface.  Finally, the spiders were vanquished.

I dug out from the top down, cramming dwarves into the crowded and narrow upper levels while the lower areas were being dug ( I don't like making temporary forts).  I get silk and steel industries running smoothly, set up well and irrigation systems (I made my permanent farms about -6z below ground ) got the Countess and her tag-along nobles happy, and set up the power station to power all this and the 8 z lvl, 4 pump strong pumping system to bring magma up to my main project, a huge lake filled with lava surrounding the bunker guarding the 4 ramps down into my fort (my depot was -4z down).  I carve out 1/4 of the lake, build the fairly sizable bridge from the bunker to the shore, get a glass greenhouse built and irrigated for above ground crops under the magma, and even drill a tunnel / road through the western mountain and across the chasm for caravans. 

This is when I get my first siege.  I notice that two of the groups are being fueled through the western tunnel, and eagerly send out my 8 steel chain and plate armored champions, with my marksmen to kill stranglers. 

It's only just after this battle starts that I realize another group has entered my fortress from the east, and is fighting my Fortress and Royal Guards and chasing civilians through the fort, with another coming from the north.  Thinking myself clever, I order the bridges drawn to shut out this fourth group and give my guard time to catch up.

At this point I also notice the some of my dwarfs are doing the entrance dance... right over the bridges.  My failure to plan ahead for that (and I spent quite a while designing the fort) squashed my founding miners and the Mayor.

I think you all know how this ends.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shad0wyone on May 01, 2009, 11:40:43 pm
Quote from: Razin on May 01, 2009, 11:25:33 pm
I was setting up a very elaborate (by my standards) pre-planned fort. Now, this was easily the best map I have ever gotten (chasm, magma, Chalk and Marble layers, coal and lignite, a dense forest, sand, an underground river, and near constant rainfall.  I struggled with this map (as in 2 separate embarks and about 3-4 reclaim efforts each time)  due to the presence of 4-6 GCS living in various places where the chasm (which ran  N <--> S across nearly the whole massive cliff face ) reached the surface.  Finally, the spiders were vanquished.

I dug out from the top down, cramming dwarves into the crowded and narrow upper levels while the lower areas were being dug ( I don't like making temporary forts).  I get silk and steel industries running smoothly, set up well and irrigation systems (I made my permanent farms about -6z below ground ) got the Countess and her tag-along nobles happy, and set up the power station to power all this and the 8 z lvl, 4 pump strong pumping system to bring magma up to my main project, a huge lake filled with lava surrounding the bunker guarding the 4 ramps down into my fort (my depot was -4z down).  I carve out 1/4 of the lake, build the fairly sizable bridge from the bunker to the shore, get a glass greenhouse built and irrigated for above ground crops under the magma, and even drill a tunnel / road through the western mountain and across the chasm for caravans. 

This is when I get my first siege.  I notice that two of the groups are being fueled through the western tunnel, and eagerly send out my 8 steel chain and plate armored champions, with my marksmen to kill stranglers. 

It's only just after this battle starts that I realize another group has entered my fortress from the east, and is fighting my Fortress and Royal Guards and chasing civilians through the fort, with another coming from the north.  Thinking myself clever, I order the bridges drawn to shut out this fourth group and give my guard time to catch up.

At this point I also notice the some of my dwarfs are doing the entrance dance... right over the bridges.  My failure to plan ahead for that (and I spent quite a while designing the fort) squashed my founding miners and the Mayor.

I think you all know how this ends.
Tantrum spirals are fun!
Anyway, I think I facepalmed when I realized the wonders of mass designation.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GoneWacko on May 02, 2009, 09:06:44 pm
Quote from: Skorpion on April 21, 2009, 01:07:41 pm
Mass stone selections for constructions.

I pretty much facepalmed when I read this.


Other moments (so far) of facepalming:

Yes, I'm new. :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on May 02, 2009, 11:10:27 pm
Quote from: GoneWacko on May 02, 2009, 09:06:44 pm
Building a bridge over a brook and being surprised when the dwarves would stand in the water to build it.

I did that with one of my first forts, although in my defense I was unaware of the difference between brooks and rivers.
I still build a bridge over the local brook when running a road to the edge of the map, but just because it looks nice.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on May 02, 2009, 11:43:41 pm
Biggest facepalm moment of mine was when I dug into the local underground river only to have it pour UP out of the hole and flood my entire fort.  From now on, all exploratory mining in the direction of water features will be done in 1 tile wide tunnels with a door at the end.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: salttotart on May 03, 2009, 12:38:09 am
Quote from: GoneWacko on May 02, 2009, 09:06:44 pm
Building a wall some 30 tiles away from my main entrance as a first line of defense, with a moat dug out next to it (mostly for show, really). Then discovering that I'd dug a channel into my underground farming, crafting, carpentry and masonry operations one level below said wall.
Your not alone.  I did that too one of my first fortresses.  Except I didn't realize it until I had added water and noticed that the middle sections weren't filling correctly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ArkDelgato on May 03, 2009, 01:15:16 am
A fire imp burned the ashen crossbow out of my marksdwarves hand.

BADASS.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dareon Clearwater on May 03, 2009, 03:48:23 am
Discovering that the "remv cre" option in the Units and Jobs menus is really really useful.  I have spent HOURS waiting for my miner/mason to stop making rock blocks and start digging.  No longer!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on May 03, 2009, 09:09:59 am
Quote from: Dareon Clearwater on May 03, 2009, 03:48:23 am
Discovering that the "remv cre" option in the Units and Jobs menus is really really useful.  I have spent HOURS waiting for my miner/mason to stop making rock blocks and start digging.  No longer!
WHY did you make your miner a mason?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shurikane on May 03, 2009, 09:26:43 am
Quote from: Dareon Clearwater on May 03, 2009, 03:48:23 am
Discovering that the "remv cre" option in the Units and Jobs menus is really really useful.  I have spent HOURS waiting for my miner/mason to stop making rock blocks and start digging.  No longer!

What does "remv cre" do anyway?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hagadorn on May 03, 2009, 09:38:34 am
Quote from: Osmosis Jones on April 24, 2009, 08:46:53 am
Quote from: Hagadorn on April 24, 2009, 07:50:32 am
This picture reminds me of Curtin universities architecture Department Building...

(I predict all of... 2 people getting that)


I hate that building, I swear you have to go up to about the 5th floor to reach the third. Apparently there's an entire corridor of offices up there somewhere that were locked up in the 80s and forgotten about.


Incidentally, what subject do you do (I'm nanotechnology honours)?




On topic, the time I connected my 10 z level self powered pumping array, and realised (as my fort started to overflow) I'd neglected an off switch, and the necessary assemblies were now 3 z levels under water.

In response to that.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Heh. Off switches are for pansies. I just had to slaughter my legendary Engraver, Miner and Farmer. All because my Queen decided to go berserk in my 'high class living quarters'.

I locked the doors, pulled the lever and watched them all drown... Except the queen with legendary swimming... Her I just flushed into the pit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on May 03, 2009, 09:44:06 am
How did your queen get legendary swimming?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hagadorn on May 03, 2009, 09:53:45 am
bitch started with it.

legendary ambusher, markswhore and socialite.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on May 03, 2009, 10:22:07 am
Quote from: Hagadorn on May 03, 2009, 09:53:45 am
bitch started with it.
legendary ambusher, markswhore and socialite.
She can screw you from a mile away!  You'll never even see her coming!

Ow, my humor.  I think it's broke.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on May 03, 2009, 01:49:17 pm
I'm glad I follow the devlog regularily. When the mass-designate and mass-construction features were put in, I started using them as soon as they became available.


Anyways, in my current fort, I have a huge spiral staircase going up around the lower tower (some 20-30 z-levels) so that the caravan could climb it. I had some "support columns" on every level of the ramp put in for aesthetic purposes.

Much later, as I was moving my dwarves and fortress from the base camp to the tower inside the mountain, I realized that the faux supports would make the 5-tile wide hallways too narrow for the caravans to pass through, rendering the entire rampway completely useless for its original purpose. I didn't want to dig out the columns because they looked cool, so I had to put the depot at the bottom of the tower instead of between the two. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Horpach on May 03, 2009, 02:26:21 pm
Flooded my fortress.

I was struck with the idea to make a beautiful waterfall in my entrance hall to generate happy thoughts (and because I can do it).
Worked into screw pump function and build a multilevel building for generating energy via windmills and a long  aqueduct from the brook to a point over my entrance hall. Under my entrance hall is a tunnel running from the brook to the several wells in my fortress, as part of my water distribution system. I dug a 2 tile wide channel from the entrance hall into this tunnel, and build grates over it, so the water from the waterfall could flow away.
Or so I thought.

Construction of the whole thingy took several months. Finally I was able to activate the screw pumps and watch my masterplan fulfil. It worked fine. My dwarfes admired the waterfall.

Several seconds later, I got warning messages concerning dangerous terrain. 

Well, the water from the waterfall didn't flow away through the already filled water distribution tunnels, but instead overflow and flooded everything.
Of course, the first room flooded was my control room with all the levers which start/stop the pumps.


In the aftermath, it is perfectly obvious for me. The water tunnel was already at 7/7, so it couldn't take more water.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NFossil on May 03, 2009, 02:31:52 pm
Quote from: Skorpion on April 21, 2009, 01:07:41 pm
When I discovered I could colour-code workshops.

How? *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on May 03, 2009, 03:35:08 pm
Quote from: NFossil on May 03, 2009, 02:31:52 pm
Quote from: Skorpion on April 21, 2009, 01:07:41 pm
When I discovered I could colour-code workshops.

How? *facepalm*

Build them out of rocks with the color you want. For example, Microcline, a light blue rock, makes light blue workshops. Alunite, Granite, and Mica make white, light grey, and dark grey workshops, respectively. Build your butchery shop out of kaolinite or bauxite to get a blood-red slaughterhouse.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Captain Xenon on May 03, 2009, 06:46:06 pm
i just noticed..... my Hammerer is married to my Tax Collector... and they had a son. this.... wait, can i cut down on rooms now? huh. yup, half the space... wonder how long they will spend moving the scattered items from their floors now...




Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kuribo on May 03, 2009, 07:07:25 pm
Well, I had a guy out hunting. He sees a sturgeon in a murky pool and he falls in, to his death.

No big deal, right?

Except the sturgeon lies in wait and as four more dwarves come to claim his body, the sturgeon attacks them, killing them.

What really sucks is that I was semi-afk at the time and when I came back, it took some finding but eventually I came to the murky pool surrounded by viscera and dwarven corpses.

I think I'll just let the others try and claim the bodies.

Edit: 14 dwarves, 1 sturgeon, and the poor beared fellas are rotting both in the pool and surrounding it. The Sturgeon is now known as Nobangsezuk Sedishgast. Only one dwarf lives, the former clerk. The other survivor went mad and was crushed by a stone trap. I think I'll let the last guy die off, then go into adventure mode and try to avenge them.

Edit: And just when I thought that last guy would be the sole survivor, he dives in to reclaim some riches. 15 Dwarves killed by one fish.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kingpocky on May 03, 2009, 07:53:47 pm
I JUST figured out that you can use the "page up" and "page down" keys in the Units menu and Trade screen and several other places. That's on the level with learning to press shift while moving and learning about the mass forbid menu.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kuribo on May 03, 2009, 08:43:18 pm
Sweet mother of God! I just arrived in adventure mode and the sturgeon is still spitting out bits of dwarf!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GoneWacko on May 03, 2009, 08:44:14 pm
Quote from: kuribo on May 03, 2009, 08:43:18 pm
Sweet mother of God! I just arrived in adventure mode and the sturgeon is still spitting out bits of dwarf!
That is, in a word, epic.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kuribo on May 03, 2009, 08:47:12 pm
Quote from: GoneWacko on May 03, 2009, 08:44:14 pm
Quote from: kuribo on May 03, 2009, 08:43:18 pm
Sweet mother of God! I just arrived in adventure mode and the sturgeon is still spitting out bits of dwarf!
That is, in a word, epic.

You'd think so, but look what happened next:

(http://i420.photobucket.com/albums/pp286/uxbn_kuribo/wtf.png)

I think I'll collect the corpses of my fallen dwarves and drop them in what used to be the tombs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Incendax on May 04, 2009, 10:12:13 am
I've had a few facepalms, including discovering Shift + Enter for building materials, Shift + Arrow for moving around the screen, and Mass Forbid/Dump menu.

But the single biggest Facepalm I really deserved was when I decided to avoid Cave Adaptation by building a 5x5 Stairwell with a 3x3 skylight in the center penetrating every level of my fortress. I figured this would force the dwarves to get some sunlight whenever they wanted to go to sleep, eat, drink, party.

I know what you're thinking. No, it was well defended against Goblin Attacks. When the Goblins did come, however, my designation of Only Soldiers Go Outside in response ground my entire fortress to a halt as nobody would step foot on those stairs. Nothing I could do would ever unmark those stairs as not being 'Above Ground'.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kaypy on May 04, 2009, 10:25:46 am
Just now: "Oh, thats right, *that* lever stops the goblins escaping. *This* is the one that would have stopped them getting in- *thats* why nothing was happening no matter how many times I marked that one 'pull'"

But I was too busy dealing with a sudden and unexpected melee to actually facepalm. Thank Armok for hammertrained marksdwarves!

Quote from: Hagadorn on April 24, 2009, 07:50:32 am
This picture reminds me of Curtin universities architecture Department Building...

(I predict all of... 2 people getting that)

...ok #2 here... although thankfully I've mostly stuck to the 'tamer' areas of Curtin and only heard tales of the wierder parts...

...Is anyone else suddenly struck with an urge to recreate their campus/office/neighborhood in DF?...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Coilgunner on May 04, 2009, 01:05:14 pm
I once, was extending the length of my stonefall trap hallway entrance, I made two stone walls that go straight out from the mountain side, I noticed that my dwarfs were ignoring the walls, and just walking over the side of the mountain and dropping down into the hallway, so I decided to make a second wall on topof the first, and adding a small section parallel, to keep them from just walking to the original entrance from one z level above, and dropping in.  My first facepalm moment, was when I noticed that the dwarfs had suspended the construction, I then started getting a lot of confusing messages.  When I checked back on the progress, one of the dwarfs had walked across the top of one of the walls, then built a pillar on the very end, and a second dwarf had built a pillar closer to the front.  Thus trapping the original dwarf ontop of the first wall, I removed the pillar and she got off and went back to partying. 

My second moment, was when I designated a completely new entrance with a longer hallway.  I decided to destroy the old hallway, and forgot about the wall on top of the wall I designated to be removed...

"Miner Cancels remove wall, Unconscious"
"Wood burner cancels remove wall, Unconscious"
"Gem cutter cancels remove wall, Unconscious"

*facepalm*

My first experience with the magical powers of dust.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Alrenous on May 04, 2009, 02:00:33 pm
Quote from: kaypy on May 04, 2009, 10:25:46 am
...Is anyone else suddenly struck with an urge to recreate their campus/office/neighborhood in DF?...


I once imagined a dorm that would be very cool to live in, so I'm now creating a prototype in DF. There's so many possible ways for me to screw up, it should be lots of, as we say, FUN.

And yes, if it works, there will be finely-crafted engravings.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: warlordzephyr on May 05, 2009, 08:32:33 am
I haven't really had any facepalm moments, in a few months of playing. I suppose one would be taking ages to dig out a road that a caravan could go down, forgetting to seal up a tile i accidentally channeled in the proccess and getting spammed with Cancels job, interupted by goblin as soon as i was seiged. They all died of thirst before i could kill the goblins with my epic defences.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pjoo on May 05, 2009, 08:35:44 am
I missplaced my ballista, facing straight to my fort entrance. It was covered in rocks so I didn't notice...
I noticed after 6 dwarfs died and my siege operator got skill increase.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Coilgunner on May 05, 2009, 09:53:35 am
Quote from: Pjoo on May 05, 2009, 08:35:44 am
I missplaced my ballista, facing straight to my fort entrance. It was covered in rocks so I didn't notice...
I noticed after 6 dwarfs died and my siege operator got skill increase.

rofl!  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Village_Idiot on May 05, 2009, 01:45:09 pm
When I finally found out how to pull levers, it was just an order from the "workshop" menu of the lever... Also came just in time to accidentily kill all (2) my champions who were stationed on the bridge .
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: illiterate on May 06, 2009, 10:55:56 am
you must pump magma up above the water.. not equal to it.  otherwise your little magma tube floods. 

also, having open stairs next to the pump is ok except at the top level...  up there it needs a firm exit path. 

[edit]  also, having someone place the last screw pump here was hazardous to his life.. 

also some stupidity on my part, it seems that the brook is draining from the end, so taking time to drop here. 

(http://i41.tinypic.com/nb4z1s.jpg)



Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: alway on May 06, 2009, 03:24:45 pm
Just now: Realizing I have over 100 dwarves and only 20 beds... 15 of which are baracks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tygea42 on May 06, 2009, 04:16:35 pm
When I lost fifty or so haulers who attempted to recover a steel bin of flaming lignite blocks after it was bridge-a-pulted into a siege.  Good lord why did I unforbid that bin.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: illiterate on May 06, 2009, 05:58:54 pm
just now: 

stray dog (tame) has died in the heat.

I investigated, found that a door that does not lead anywhere except magma -- apparently the pooch decided to path through it, let a little out into the hall. 

i guess i should have forbidden and tightly closed that thing.  "Warning, Do not open"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: alway on May 06, 2009, 08:17:08 pm
Quote from: illiterate on May 06, 2009, 05:58:54 pm
just now: 

stray dog (tame) has died in the heat.

I investigated, found that a door that does not lead anywhere except magma -- apparently the pooch decided to path through it, let a little out into the hall. 

i guess i should have forbidden and tightly closed that thing.  "Warning, Do not open"
I make all my magma doors out of cinnabar if it is available. Nothing says DO NOT OPEN like a bright red door!

Another facepalm moment: Realizing magma takes a LONG time to make its way down a tunnel approximately the length of the the map. Seems my magma forges wont be in operation for a few years...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GoneWacko on May 06, 2009, 08:25:47 pm
I'd just embarked to a site with lots of Limonite (which sadly is the first time I've encountered any, so it was extra awesome for me).

I started out nicely with an entrance that would be easy to defend (due to the naturally occurring funnel in front of it), dug out some farmland, set up my trade depot and then...

Stepped away from the computer without pressing pause.

It kept running in the background for quite a while because the fortress attracted no immigrants during the first season. When I came back all my booze and food was gone and had been for quite a while (I'd embarked with minimal amounts for the added challenge).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Coilgunner on May 06, 2009, 09:32:42 pm
Quote from: GoneWacko on May 06, 2009, 08:25:47 pm
I'd just embarked to a site with lots of Limonite (which sadly is the first time I've encountered any, so it was extra awesome for me).

I started out nicely with an entrance that would be easy to defend (due to the naturally occurring funnel in front of it), dug out some farmland, set up my trade depot and then...

Stepped away from the computer without pressing pause.

It kept running in the background for quite a while because the fortress attracted no immigrants during the first season. When I came back all my booze and food was gone and had been for quite a while (I'd embarked with minimal amounts for the added challenge).

Reclaim reclaim reclaim!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Argonnek on May 07, 2009, 12:01:55 am
When I realized that parts of a workshop can block movement... nearly lost me a good butcher
*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: illiterate on May 07, 2009, 08:58:32 am
Quote from: Coilgunner on May 06, 2009, 09:32:42 pm
Quote from: GoneWacko on May 06, 2009, 08:25:47 pm
I'd just embarked to a site with lots of Limonite (which sadly is the first time I've encountered any, so it was extra awesome for me).

I started out nicely with an entrance that would be easy to defend (due to the naturally occurring funnel in front of it), dug out some farmland, set up my trade depot and then...

Stepped away from the computer without pressing pause.

It kept running in the background for quite a while because the fortress attracted no immigrants during the first season. When I came back all my booze and food was gone and had been for quite a while (I'd embarked with minimal amounts for the added challenge).

Reclaim reclaim reclaim!

why reclaim?  just make more booze!  with one dwarf if you have to. 

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: illiterate on May 07, 2009, 11:52:06 am
further evidence that i'm still a noob.
(http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/5397/lineomasons.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: catoblepas on May 07, 2009, 12:36:10 pm
On one of my more successful fortresses, I was building a four story high green glass tower above the entrance. As I was removing green glass from the roof in order to build walls on it, I learned about cave-ins. A chunk of roofing crashed through the two floors below it and landed on a masterwork obsidian statue, destroying it. this wouldn't have been so bad in itself, except that the tower was positioned directly above the main entrance....as the newest wave of migrants was moving passing underneath. The dust cloud that generated knocked out pretty much everyone, luckily only one migrant was walking over my green glass corkscrew traps when this occurred. A great learning experience all in all, as it taught me that all dwarves are stupid, and won't remove flooring strategically if one designates an area of flooring to be removed, a fact driven home by the fact that the dwarf who was removing the flooring managed to remove all the flooring between him and the way down....he starved to death horribly of course.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GoneWacko on May 07, 2009, 08:11:50 pm
Quote from: illiterate on May 07, 2009, 08:58:32 am
Quote from: Coilgunner on May 06, 2009, 09:32:42 pm
Quote from: GoneWacko on May 06, 2009, 08:25:47 pm
...

Reclaim reclaim reclaim!

why reclaim?  just make more booze!  with one dwarf if you have to. 

Which plants do you want me to brew? :(
I forgot to mention that I had not set up any farms yet.
And while I did bring some seeds just in case, the big idea was to get them through brewing :(

Indeed some dwarves were still alive, but I lost interest pretty quickly after that screw up (very poor quality for a DF player, probably, but eh, what can you do?)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zess on May 07, 2009, 08:28:46 pm
When I crushed a Champion Axedwarf on accident with a drawbridge. :/
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vampire Penguin on May 07, 2009, 08:55:49 pm
I let my dwarves go outside during a seige. Well, they are well protected by a wall and drawbridge, so no harm done, right?

Well, SOME FREAKING HOW an engraver gets outside and charges an Orc Wrestler. Then, the Orcs get smart. They know dwarves are not bright creatures. So they send down two wrestlers to stand on the cliff over my entrance, so now they have no access to my well, booze, food, or (non-military) beds. So while the season-long siege goes on, just about half of my 100 dwarf fortress is outside. They are walking back and forth from the barracks to the entrance, hungry, thirsty and tired.

They get scared by the Orcs, and once my Marksdwarves kill them, guess what? They send two more. So I recruit all I can so they walk by without fear (...how?). I am forced to take down two squads of Orcs before they are allowed back in, all starving (including my naked Queen).

No one dies, but they all start crying about they're hunger and thirst, and stay in they're homes for the next month or so.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slashcko on May 07, 2009, 10:07:49 pm
Quote from: AncientEnemy on April 20, 2009, 09:18:57 pm
discovering the d->b menu.

oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones

Oh wow, thanks for telling me that.
*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kuribo on May 07, 2009, 11:55:05 pm
Recently forgot about water pressure while making a waterfall. It overflowed the trench and began flooding the entire valley.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tygea42 on May 08, 2009, 02:29:28 am
I had the wonderful idea to put various dangerous animals and captured enemies in cells along my main entry.  not with cages or restraints, but by pitting them into cells with clear glass windows looking into the hall.  Dwarfs wouldn't go in or out and caravans just stopped mid hall and sat...  for years... Eventually I dug a new entrance hall and walled up the old...  With a total of 7 trade caravans stuck in it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lymojo on May 08, 2009, 02:36:27 am
Quote from: tygea42 on May 08, 2009, 02:29:28 am
I had the wonderful idea to put various dangerous animals and captured enemies in cells along my main entry.  not with cages or restraints, but by pitting them into cells with clear glass windows looking into the hall.  Dwarfs wouldn't go in or out and caravans just stopped mid hall and sat...  for years... Eventually I dug a new entrance hall and walled up the old...  With a total of 7 trade caravans stuck in it.

Is that because they see the monsters through the glass and get scared?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lymojo on May 08, 2009, 02:40:10 am
I built this intricate and aesthetically pleasing obsidian magma death tower with an interesting deployment system. It runs all the time - very pretty for fortress guests - but during DEATH MODE when the lava re-uptake channels close up, letting the lava spread out and kill everyone.

However I didn't really understand gobbo behavior or magma dynamics. The magma only spreads out to fill about a 20 tile radius, and nowhere near anywhere the gobbos would ever want to go.

Guuuuuuuh....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: stormbringer951 on May 08, 2009, 06:20:57 am
Finishing off the moat on my first fortress, that was ages ago now I think of it. I'd made a small outside gatehouse (I was building into the side of a sheer cliff; an excellent starting location that I can't find anymore :( ). The moat I was building was too far above any other water source, plus I channeled through my farm area in the soil layer. Plus when I finished it, I had to dig a side passage so I could put the drawbridge in. I was spammed with about 10,000 cancelled jobs as dwarves tried to get wood etc. from outside. Damn.

Now I build the defences before getting the fortress too big.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GoneWacko on May 09, 2009, 03:44:20 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I'm feeding a well from a river 4 z-levels above my fortress. Being aware of the dangers of water pressure, I was smart enough to build a floodgate in the channel, linked up to a lever somewhere near the well. In case you hadn't deducted from the body of water, the well is just off screen to the south. ::)

I checked and double checked if all the security measures were in place before pulling the lever.

Shortly afterwards a huge immigration wave came rolling into my fortress. I was so distracted with making beds, doors, chambers, noble rooms... That I kind of forgot to pull the lever again when the channel had filled up with water.

When I remembered, the water had already flooded my well area. I quick added a Pull Lever command to the floodgate's lever, but somehow the game figured that it'd be best if the lever be pulled by a sloooooooow moving gem cutter some 100 tiles away.
Luckily he managed to wade through the 2-3 level high water that was now filling up my workfloor (it's tiny because the fortress is in it's early stages).

With the 100 step delay and with the 5 z-level long, two level wide shaft, the water pressure was high enough to let the water flood into my main staircase, down to my sleeping quaters ::)

Upside to all of this: All my dwarves are ecstatic from the waterfall in the staircase.
Downside: it'll be a while before the meeting hall becomes usable, and there's mud everywhere! :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Clanrat on May 09, 2009, 05:56:13 pm
A peasant was hauling a cage with maybe 70 or so cats and kittens with a odd other animal in it, when he decided to throw a tantrum and break the closest thing - which happend to be the cage instatly releasing all the cats and kittens that adopted passing dwarves  >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Itnetlolor on May 09, 2009, 07:03:53 pm
Quote from: Clanrat on May 09, 2009, 05:56:13 pm
A peasant was hauling a cage with maybe 70 or so cats and kittens with a odd other animal in it, when he decided to throw a tantrum and break the closest thing - which happend to be the cage instatly releasing all the cats and kittens that adopted passing dwarves  >:(
Cat-nades.

Mix that with nuclear catsplosion technology and we could possibly have nukes in DF. provided, of course, cats don't explode while in cages.

Is there a chance this could be implemented in the Dwarfhattan Project?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Byakugan01 on May 09, 2009, 07:24:01 pm
Two moments, both in the orc mod.
First, I decided to try and fight the orcs with about 15 war werewolves and a bunch of champion and elite wrestlers when I could have just attempted to sit out the siege. What makes this a facepalm moment? I had access to a huge supply of magnetite, smelt iron bars, and flux. I could have just waited until I had steel armor and then tried to take them on.
Second, forgetting to forbid items from the first casualties inside a different fortress when the orcs breached my unlocked doors (woops!). Cue lemming rush.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Heron TSG on May 09, 2009, 09:48:12 pm
Quote from: tygea42 on May 08, 2009, 02:29:28 am
I had the wonderful idea to put various dangerous animals and captured enemies in cells along my main entry.  not with cages or restraints, but by pitting them into cells with clear glass windows looking into the hall.  Dwarfs wouldn't go in or out and caravans just stopped mid hall and sat...  for years... Eventually I dug a new entrance hall and walled up the old...  With a total of 7 trade caravans stuck in it.

now I must do this. Then apply magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: major_sephiroth on May 10, 2009, 06:34:02 pm
I had an exterior wall set up so I could walk around the outside of my fort. During an orc siege, I noticed the caveat. I had several ways up and onto these walls, and my dwarves were using the walls to move around for no real reason.  This and an orc elite archer = painful.

Lost 4 dwarves.
Lost 6 in total in the siege.
:facepalm:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: stormbringer951 on May 11, 2009, 05:08:42 am
Designate it as a restricted traffic area.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: quintin522 on May 11, 2009, 12:07:08 pm
Quote from: Itnetlolor on May 09, 2009, 07:03:53 pm
Cat-nades.

Mix that with nuclear catsplosion technology and we could possibly have nukes in DF. provided, of course, cats don't explode while in cages.

Is there a chance this could be implemented in the Dwarfhattan Project?
Amazing potenial.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Qwernt on May 11, 2009, 12:21:13 pm
With orcs mod applied, I built a very nice maze using trenches which would allow my archers to pick them off and allow me plenty of time to get the orcs positioned somewhere that the archers could safely see them.  I preplanned bridges to allow quick cleanup.  Orcs come -> pull lever and bridges disapear.  Orcs enter maze, get close enough for archers, pull lever to shut off the main entrance... wait, which lever did I just have pulled - yup, same lever twice, orcs waltz in and wipe out the fort.
doh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Itnetlolor on May 11, 2009, 03:42:28 pm
Quote from: quintin522 on May 11, 2009, 12:07:08 pm
Quote from: Itnetlolor on May 09, 2009, 07:03:53 pm
Cat-nades.

Mix that with nuclear catsplosion technology and we could possibly have nukes in DF. provided, of course, cats don't explode while in cages.

Is there a chance this could be implemented in the Dwarfhattan Project?
Amazing potenial.
You can even setup a trigger to see if it could work properly via switch. Of course, I think the best results and basis for research will come if you suspend the bomb. That way, we can see the full anatomy of the explosion, and see how we can fully weaponize it.

Defensive grid anyone?

Hell, just have them sitting there as a lure with pressure switches right next to them (or on an oft-used path or choke-point/bridge). 5 cats/kittens apiece ought to do the job well enough. Reloading the traps would be a pain though, but there could be guaranteed defense. Nothing more entertaining to watch than a few feline-fuel covered orcs/gobs/elves screaming in harmony with the meowling as they're getting incinerated in your territory. ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Teferi on May 11, 2009, 08:11:14 pm
Quote from: Itnetlolor on May 09, 2009, 07:03:53 pm
Quote from: Clanrat on May 09, 2009, 05:56:13 pm
A peasant was hauling a cage with maybe 70 or so cats and kittens with a odd other animal in it, when he decided to throw a tantrum and break the closest thing - which happend to be the cage instatly releasing all the cats and kittens that adopted passing dwarves  >:(
Cat-nades.

Mix that with nuclear catsplosion technology and we could possibly have nukes in DF. provided, of course, cats don't explode while in cages.

Is there a chance this could be implemented in the Dwarfhattan Project?
I'd hate to spoil your fun but cats do burn an die while in the cages
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on May 11, 2009, 08:14:48 pm
Quote from: Teferi on May 11, 2009, 08:11:14 pm
I'd hate to spoil your fun but cats do burn an die while in the cages

Nope.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: major_sephiroth on May 11, 2009, 10:55:06 pm
I didn't set it as a restricted area, I removed all but 2 ramps onto the walls so going up them would be the slowest way to go past.

Twas a fun siege, barring the orc elite archer. Got him by throwing ~12 semi-experienced marksman to a vantage point, only lost 2 and he was the only ranged unit there.  The semi-experienced guys who survived got some decent experience on the myriad of orc crushers.:D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on May 12, 2009, 02:19:32 am
FireMan = FireBreath

Rather docile creature, patheticly wounded by caravan guards.

runs from everything, everythuign runs from that, okay.

Til my woodcutter decides to walk around a try to cut it down, and ends up aaccedently removing an arm from it.

Fwoosh fwoosh fwoosh.  Woodcuter gets a broken upper body.. wears a fire resistant silk dresss though, so he is safe.keeps running down the hill to escape, and ack at the fireman to get to one of the beds for a few minutes as the axedwarf charges in.  But while being flamed over and over again, the woodcutter heals the broken torso, and cancils rest to get a drink.

Wewt mass wrestlin training!

Then the caravan guard slices it's head off with a bolt.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PotatoMuncher on May 12, 2009, 11:48:25 am
I have had a total of 6 weapon smiths. 5 of them have dies from failed artifacts, ALL of the 5 needed shells. I don't have any turtles on the map, and am still trying to clear my cave river. I have one living weapon smith.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: illiterate on May 12, 2009, 05:58:54 pm
one butcher and one tanner == butchered animals, hides, and tasty meat

two tanners == no butchered animals, no tanned hides, the hunter dropping corpses in the meeting hall and sauntering off while they rot, and a moody fisherdwarf going berserk because he didn't have any leather.  i was busy supervising some digging and thought i had satisfied his needs. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shaostoul on May 13, 2009, 03:31:50 am
Ocean = 1 ... Floating Fortress = 0

I did some slight reorganizing with caveins off...

I re-enabled it and my fort plunged many z levels down... my dwarfs didn't have time to drown.

Those Great White Sharks must've been full afterwards... /cheer
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lymojo on May 19, 2009, 02:30:15 pm
My weaponsmith hits a mood, and demands leather.
However, it's during an orc siege, and I'm turtled up and have no military, and no unclaimed pets.

I quickly crack into my underground pool with my two novice archers and a bunch of recruits. I lose about 8 of my guys to cave monsters, and I don't even get any usable leather out of it. However, one of the guys that died freed up a donkey that I butcher and tan.

The weaponsmith starts the construction... and turns out a fucking hatch cover. All that smelting had made him a metalsmith, but I didn't notice because of his custom profession. What am I going to do with a legendary blacksmith? Make masterful platinum buckets?

::facepalm::
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on May 20, 2009, 09:23:52 pm
Happens to the best of us.  I just hate having 4 legendary bonecarvers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kalida99 on May 20, 2009, 10:27:16 pm
Quote from: zchris13 on May 20, 2009, 09:23:52 pm
Happens to the best of us.  I just hate having 4 legendary bonecarvers.

your lucky you don't have my good fort, like 16 legendary woodcrafters, stonecrafters, and bone carvers, AND I STILL HAVE TOO MUCH BONE!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on May 21, 2009, 02:48:11 pm
Make Bone Bolts /R
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kalida99 on May 21, 2009, 02:50:51 pm
i have 3 craftsdwarf workshops working around the clock and my piles are STILL FULL, it's from a never ending waves of kittens... dang catsplosions...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: decius on May 21, 2009, 08:03:57 pm
Embarked on freezing biome. The glacier never thawed naturally, so I set up a system to melt the ice with magma and direct the melted ice to the well, via waterfall.

Except I crossed the magma lines and the melt lines. And didn't use magma-safe materials on what should have been the water side of the line. And put all the levers to the magma supply in a little closet behind the well room, which is now full of magma.

Also: Mass construction?!?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on May 22, 2009, 01:40:04 am

Quote from: Clanrat on May 09, 2009, 05:56:13 pm
A peasant was hauling a cage with maybe 70 or so cats and kittens with a odd other animal in it, when he decided to throw a tantrum and break the closest thing - which happend to be the cage instatly releasing all the cats and kittens that adopted passing dwarves  >:(

Should have tossed the cage down the nearest chasm, or better yet, feed them to the carp. Also, lol! :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on May 22, 2009, 10:49:25 am
Quote from: zchris13 on May 20, 2009, 09:23:52 pm
Happens to the best of us.  I just hate having 4 legendary bonecarvers.

Yeah? In my last fort I've got 2 fucking legendary woodcrafters. Beat that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: puke on May 22, 2009, 11:21:21 am
i guess everyone has very fancy beds then, eh?

my biggest facepalm moment was when i tunneled beneath an aquifer by digging near a magma tube, and build my fort beneath the safty of the ground.  long story short, i later tried to expand my enterence by using the cave-in method to create a larger opening in the aquifer.  miscalculated.  sealed my entire fort beneath the water table.

oops.

honestly they were self sustaining and i COULD have dug around the problem through another part of the obsidian/magma tube, but it was definitly a forehead slapping moment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on May 22, 2009, 01:36:46 pm
Carpenters make beds

Woodcrafters make wood crafts.

And cups.

And wood arrows.

And that's it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on May 22, 2009, 03:34:05 pm
I had some legendary carpenters.  had to turn off rent.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kalida99 on May 22, 2009, 03:36:26 pm
Quote from: zchris13 on May 22, 2009, 03:34:05 pm
I had some legendary carpenters.  had to turn off rent.

why'd you turn off rent?
legendarys don't get charged...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on May 22, 2009, 03:39:10 pm
Masterwork beds.  For everyone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kalida99 on May 22, 2009, 03:43:24 pm
oh my fancy fancy... :o
i prefer my dwarves sleeping in bottemless pits
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Earth Striker Lurin on May 22, 2009, 04:01:17 pm
Quote from: kalida99 on May 22, 2009, 03:43:24 pm
oh my fancy fancy... :o
i prefer my dwarves sleeping in bottemless pits

He's an Elf lads...  Someone open up the magma gate.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: puke on May 22, 2009, 05:24:33 pm
ah, elves.  i miss the named trees from the forrest retreats in the old version.  i hope they are back in a new version.  i liked lighting them on fire.

it would be fun to embark on a forrest retreat and make everyone's bed out of a named tree.  make some nice idols out of them to trade back to the elves.  or maybe just some spikes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on May 22, 2009, 10:04:52 pm
Quote from: puke on May 22, 2009, 05:24:33 pm
ah, elves.  i miss the named trees from the forrest retreats in the old version.  i hope they are back in a new version.  i liked lighting them on fire.

it would be fun to embark on a forrest retreat and make everyone's bed out of a named tree.  make some nice idols out of them to trade back to the elves.  or maybe just some spikes.

Forest retreats still have named trees, I think.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on May 23, 2009, 04:08:20 am
Quote from: puke on May 22, 2009, 05:24:33 pm
make some nice idols out of them to trade back to the elves.

I don't see how that's possible, seeing how those pointy-eared faggots won't even accept wooden bins or barrels.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Leafsnail on May 23, 2009, 04:15:35 am
Quote from: assimilateur on May 23, 2009, 04:08:20 am
Quote from: puke on May 22, 2009, 05:24:33 pm
make some nice idols out of them to trade back to the elves.

I don't see how that's possible, seeing how those pointy-eared faggots won't even accept wooden bins or barrels.
You don't need to sell them the bin, just sell them the contents.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on May 23, 2009, 06:04:27 am
Quote from: assimilateur on May 23, 2009, 04:08:20 am
I don't see how that's possible, seeing how those pointy-eared faggots treehumpers won't even accept wooden bins or barrels.

Edited for sensitivity and accuracy.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on May 23, 2009, 06:19:34 am
Quote from: Leafsnail on May 23, 2009, 04:15:35 am
You don't need to sell them the bin, just sell them the contents.

I know, I'm just saying that they won't buy them. Makes trading with them a pain in the ass (then again, what isn't a pain in the ass in this game?).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Leafsnail on May 23, 2009, 06:23:39 am
Quote from: assimilateur on May 23, 2009, 06:19:34 am
Quote from: Leafsnail on May 23, 2009, 04:15:35 am
You don't need to sell them the bin, just sell them the contents.

I know, I'm just saying that they won't buy them. Makes trading with them a pain in the ass (then again, what isn't a pain in the ass in this game?).
They don't mind bone items, for some reason.  Don't ask me why.  Alcohol, however, has to be sold in metal barrels.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on May 23, 2009, 06:36:56 am
Quote from: Leafsnail on May 23, 2009, 06:23:39 am
Don't ask me why.

Simple: they're like PETA, only worse. PETA nutcases favor animals over humans, elven nutcases favor trees over animals and human(oid)s.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Leafsnail on May 23, 2009, 07:06:23 am
Quote from: assimilateur on May 23, 2009, 06:36:56 am
Quote from: Leafsnail on May 23, 2009, 06:23:39 am
Don't ask me why.

Simple: they're like PETA, only worse. PETA nutcases favor animals over humans, elven nutcases favor trees over animals and human(oid)s.
Wrong, they only like their own "Ethically sourced, sustainable wood" and are trying to extort your into buying their crappy wood based products.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on May 23, 2009, 11:03:37 am
Quote from: geoduck on May 23, 2009, 06:04:27 am
Quote from: assimilateur on May 23, 2009, 04:08:20 am
I don't see how that's possible, seeing how those pointy-eared faggots treehumpers won't even accept wooden bins or barrels.
Edited for sensitivity and accuracy.
Actually, faggot would be correct here, because we DO burn them.  With magma.  Quite frequently.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on May 23, 2009, 12:21:21 pm
Fancy system running off of an underground river designed to both be a perpetual motion machine and an addition to the dining room waterfall.  Overconfident with my experience I don't build a failsafe lever into the system.  There is no way it could possibly go wrong.

Unfortunatly the dining room waterfall already had a waterfall, sourced from a surface river (also without a failsafe).  With an expertly desined drainage system that emptied into the underground river.  It was working fine.

Until I added the extra water without expanding the drainage, that was.  Now there was twice as much water going through the system, the drainage system slowly backed up, not able to pass all the water through the thin drainage pipes.  Then after a quick glance to make sure the dining room didn't immediately flood I pat myself on the back and forget to pause before going to make some hot pockets.

When I get back delicious hot pockets in hand, the dining room is under water, water is flowing out of the fortifications into the 2 z level tall workshop hallway, and the poor souls in the jail have a wall of water flowing down the stairs at them.

In the end the jail level is completely flooded, as well as a few z levels above it, that had nothing of note, the dining room and most of the workshops are knee deep in water that wasn't going anywhere soon, and after the pumping system was hastily deconstructed it would take years for the drainage system to catch up to the extra water in the system(because I certainly can't shut off a direct waterfall from the surface river).  Not in the mood to salvage the disaster, I abandoned. 

Deaths: 3 residents.  2 that drown in the jail(ignoring a mandate from the baron and mayor) and 1 that apperantly got washed into the well and drown.  theres a facepalm moment right there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gand on May 23, 2009, 01:21:01 pm
Making use of the vast amount of Goblin and various other skulls I collected to make loads of totems. The Human traders arrived I sold loads of the things, all my dwarfs rushed in to haul the totems and buy bars, armour and various other stuff. Then to my horror my master miner died, then an engraver, then a lye maker...what was going on?!?

I disovered too late that there was a mandate and ALL my Dwarfs were guilty to helping to ship the totems. The Hammerdwarf was going full pelt and the prison was overcrowded. It was a disaster and my worst facepalm moment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on May 23, 2009, 01:30:24 pm
The proper way to handle that is with a single death.  The death of the noble.  Forbidding export of my major trade good, will he...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Leafsnail on May 23, 2009, 02:45:32 pm
Quote from: zchris13 on May 23, 2009, 01:30:24 pm
The proper way to handle that is with a single death.  The death of the noble.  Forbidding export of my major trade good, will he...
4 words: Forbidden bins and barrels.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on May 23, 2009, 02:47:50 pm
Quote from: zchris13 on May 22, 2009, 03:39:10 pm
Masterwork beds.  For everyone.

I just may have to do that, I have one in the middle of a fey mood and will start constructing as soon as my dang legendary gem cutter (result of another fey mood and got an artifact bucket out of that one, planning on using in a well) gets to work on cutting a couple. I have another carpenter (my starter woodcutter, now legendary woodcutter) with adept skill and so...

Thats assuming they will start buying masterwork beds once the dwarven economy starts up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on May 23, 2009, 02:51:35 pm
Anyone know what this is?

(http://i42.tinypic.com/16rqj6.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Simmura McCrea on May 23, 2009, 02:56:58 pm
Quote from: zchris13 on May 23, 2009, 02:51:35 pm
Anyone know what this is?

(http://i42.tinypic.com/16rqj6.jpg)
Dwarf pancake maker?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on May 23, 2009, 03:28:35 pm
Trash compactor.  Powered by nobles!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LostNumber on May 23, 2009, 05:33:13 pm
When my ultra-strong drowning trap of drowning hit a small flaw.
There were 3 levers, one to block access to my fort, one to seal the enemy in and one to unleash the water.

Guess who accidently pulled the wrong lever (I sealed them in) and then forgot about it until 30 dorfs were dead?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Efun on May 23, 2009, 05:49:59 pm
YOU CAN MASS DUMP?!?!?!?

Brb i need to attend my fortress...


URIST, YOU HAVE A JOB TO DO!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Leafsnail on May 23, 2009, 05:58:44 pm
Quote from: Efun on May 23, 2009, 05:49:59 pm
YOU CAN MASS DUMP?!?!?!?

Brb i need to attend my fortress...


URIST, YOU HAVE A JOB TO DO!!
And mass forbid, and mass claim.  Useful for atom smashers, certainly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on May 23, 2009, 07:33:52 pm
d, b, d, specifically.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neruz on May 23, 2009, 09:48:14 pm
When i accidentally dug upwards into the bottom of an Aquifer i didn't even know was there.

"Why the fuck is my dining room full of water!"


Worst part is i had a waterfall in my dining room, so i thought it was overflowing :\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bokbon on May 23, 2009, 11:04:27 pm
I decided to expand my entry defenses, and as part of this cut away all the ramps around the back of my entrance area, forcing enemies to cross the open ground in view of my marksdwarves etc.

Later on, I wonder why the merchants aren't leaving, even though it's been a couple of months since they said they were setting off. Eh, whatever, they operate at their own pace I guess.

Later on again, I notice a bunch of hungry dwarfs wandering around aimlessly outside. Figuring some kind of borked pathfinding is the culprit, I draft one guy and station him progressively closer to the entrance. Once I get close enough that the next station is one level down, he promptly freaks out and runs off in the opposite direction. Only THEN do I notice that I'd cut away the ramps from the entrance as well.

*face palm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: fungee on May 24, 2009, 07:29:42 am
Just when my fortress survived a torrent of tantrums I forgot to lock my backdoor and orc invaders poured in... Lost or crippled most of my workforce, 7 champions and 2 non-disabled dwarves alive + 5 lying in bed...  :'( :'(

*Funkytrix is stricken by melancholy...*

EDIT: Right after that I get immigrants yay! But most of them are children... *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ToonyMan on May 24, 2009, 07:33:28 am
That's a good thing!  I could never get my dwarves killed!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Byakugan01 on May 24, 2009, 11:17:29 am
I take it you have NEVER played on a tropical river with an aquifer, have you? Try saying those words when you do that.

As for me: forgetting to lock the front doors when an orc invasion came-and i had no more than five dwarves (two lost to carp), NONE of them military. Cue slaughter fest.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lymojo on May 24, 2009, 12:49:16 pm
Just had a new one recently.

Did not realize you could easily drain water off the map by carving fortifications into an edge tile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: fungee on May 24, 2009, 12:59:29 pm
Quote from: Byakugan01 on May 24, 2009, 11:17:29 am
I take it you have NEVER played on a tropical river with an aquifer, have you? Try saying those words when you do that.

As for me: forgetting to lock the front doors when an orc invasion came-and i had no more than five dwarves (two lost to carp), NONE of them military. Cue slaughter fest.

I lost 30 dwarves though. And that includes all my 10 legendary non-military dwarves
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dareon Clearwater on May 24, 2009, 08:31:02 pm
Putting a fortress into a small canyon with a little hillock in the center, I first dug down through the hillock for my main dwarf entrance, then dug a passage into a canyon wall for wagon access.  Then I began to remove all the ramps in the canyon and hillock.  After a while, I began wondering why my dwarves were pathing through the wagon access instead of down the stairs in the hillock.

Yes, I forgot to remove the designation from the stairs.

Quote from: zchris13 on May 03, 2009, 09:09:59 am
WHY did you make your miner a mason?

EVERYONE is a mason in my forts.  And a carpenter, and a butcher, and a tanner, and a fish cleaner, and a miller, and a thresher.  If necessary, glassmaker, mechanic, strand extractor, and/or pump operator, too.  What time I lose in setting up immigrants I make up in not having to track down a loafer when I need one of those jobs.  If I need high-quality stone furniture, I can always set a workshop to skill levels or specific trained masons.

Quote from: Shurikane on May 03, 2009, 09:26:43 am
What does "remv cre" do anyway?
Pulls the current dwarf off the job it's working on and tells it to find something else to do.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on May 25, 2009, 06:48:25 pm
I embarked on a map with no river and pools that dry up in the summer. Fortunately, there was an aquifer in one corner, so after I got the fort up and running and a few immigrants arrived, I dug a long tunnel into that corner looking for water. Finally found it, and after fiddling with a pump for a while, I realized it was easier to just channel a long water-trench back toward the general vicinity of the fort's dining hall. From said hall, I ran a tunnel a ways and began digging a well-shaft down to meet the trench, four or five z-levels down. Two z-levels down.. damp walls. Turns out my dining room was right on the edge of the aquifer all along. Sigh. At least I didn't flood the place while digging the dining room.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on May 25, 2009, 06:51:23 pm
When I saw this: http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=36160.msg569509#msg569509 (http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=36160.msg569509#msg569509)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: taf_esra on May 26, 2009, 12:19:35 am
"meng verylongchampionname has bled to death!"
"dwarfchild has bled to death!"
"Urist verylongchampionname has gone berserk!"

1 legendary clothier and 2 legendary stonecrafters later my squad of champions take him down. but not before he disables a champion. This was all during an orc siege. I don't know how he tantrumed with my awesome dining room and food. I didn't think having a wife and child killed would cause him to tantrum. maybe he was stationed too long?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sneakey pete on May 26, 2009, 12:58:49 am
military dwarves don't eat in dining rooms last I checked, so he wouldn't have got that bonus.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: stormbringer951 on May 26, 2009, 11:55:08 am
They do if they're not rationed food, surely...?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: puke on May 26, 2009, 02:54:01 pm
i think they do if theyre off-duty.  if theyre not rationed food and are on-duty, im not sure where they eat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on May 26, 2009, 03:50:41 pm
The dining hall.  I have watched them do it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Craftling on May 27, 2009, 02:49:42 am
One of my champions went beserk with his platnium warhammer.
I have never seen so much blood on one level.
Everyone died.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: puke on May 27, 2009, 12:10:44 pm
Quote from: Craftling on May 27, 2009, 02:49:42 am
One of my champions went beserk with his platnium warhammer.
I have never seen so much blood on one level.
Everyone died.

Ah, everyone had Fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Byakugan01 on May 27, 2009, 04:43:10 pm
Sounds just like my current fort-only replace "champion" with "wrestler", add in the fact everyone is booze deprived, and take the fact that the metal smithing area-including weapons and armor-is now his territory. Oh, and it turns out my legendary armorsmith is one of his "hostages". And there are all of five dwarves, none of which have military training, who can take him on (meaning they aren't some lame cripple in bed).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Heliman on May 27, 2009, 06:06:13 pm
I once made a painstakingly intracite gobbie disposal system that left the bastards outside cages, with all their armor, linked to set them free with a doomsday lever on my fort.

It became useless because I made it too close to the surface, ruining the water pressure and my project along with it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on May 27, 2009, 09:13:47 pm
When I figured out how to make pressurized drainage systems.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tenebrais on May 27, 2009, 09:23:09 pm
Constructing a magma trap in front of a fortress. There would be a series of grates over a pool of magma which, when a pressure plate at the front is pushed, would dump anything on them within.

I'd already filled the magma pool, and was having a miner channel an opening to put in the grates. It's a one tile corridor.
He channels the tile in front of him.
He channels the tile behind him.

He channels the tile he's standing on.

Urist McNuggets has died in the heat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on May 29, 2009, 11:03:43 pm
When I found out the stockpile filter screen supported the mouse.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: stormbringer951 on May 31, 2009, 11:20:27 am
Wait, what!? Oh Armok damn it!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Leafsnail on May 31, 2009, 12:39:08 pm
Quote from: Tenebrais on May 27, 2009, 09:23:09 pm
Constructing a magma trap in front of a fortress. There would be a series of grates over a pool of magma which, when a pressure plate at the front is pushed, would dump anything on them within.

I'd already filled the magma pool, and was having a miner channel an opening to put in the grates. It's a one tile corridor.
He channels the tile in front of him.
He channels the tile behind him.

He channels the tile he's standing on.

Urist McNuggets has died in the heat.
I use restricted traffic areas to stop that (one of my dwarves sealed himself in the Corridor of Ballista Doom's protective area) usually.  It means that they'll usually path somewhere else if they can.  However, if it's the only route to somewhere, they'll still go, as I found out with my Carp filled river.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wahad on May 31, 2009, 02:30:08 pm
Quote from: CobaltKobold on May 29, 2009, 11:03:43 pm
When I found out the stockpile filter screen supported the mouse.

WHAT.

/facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lymojo on May 31, 2009, 03:57:35 pm
New one. I just read that when designating mining areas using the mouse, apparently right clicking will function the same as hitting enter. So you can select an entire rectangle of arbitrary area in two clicks.

I had completely given up on using the mouse because I thought you could only designate tiles one at a time!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on May 31, 2009, 04:23:35 pm
Quote from: Lymojo on May 31, 2009, 03:57:35 pm
I just read that when designating mining areas using the mouse, apparently right clicking will function the same as hitting enter. So you can select an entire rectangle of arbitrary area in two clicks.


Sweet Jesus! Thatll completely revolutionize my mining!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fossaman on May 31, 2009, 04:43:41 pm
Wow. Awesome. I was excited enough when I found out about click designating, this is gonna rock.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: alway on May 31, 2009, 05:29:27 pm
Wow! I have got to try that! No more direct key spamming to get the right sized rooms...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kidiri on May 31, 2009, 06:20:07 pm
Quote from: Lymojo on May 31, 2009, 03:57:35 pm
New one. I just read that when designating mining areas using the mouse, apparently right clicking will function the same as hitting enter.

In my experience, right clicking puts the cursor where you clicked. Right clicking and hitting enter, on the other hand...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on May 31, 2009, 06:50:54 pm
Quote from: Kidiri on May 31, 2009, 06:20:07 pm
Quote from: Lymojo on May 31, 2009, 03:57:35 pm
New one. I just read that when designating mining areas using the mouse, apparently right clicking will function the same as hitting enter.
In my experience, right clicking puts the cursor where you clicked. Right clicking and hitting enter, on the other hand...
I agree with this man's assessment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: alway on June 01, 2009, 06:58:43 pm
Just had a new one. The fort I am currently playing has been around for about 5 years now, occasionally under seige by orcs, and once by humans, after I got them all killed on their last visit (due to orcs). Well, recently a human caravan (sans wagons, since my bridges were up) appeared. Not wanting to further anger them, I opened my bridges to let them in. At that same moment, an orc seige appears, but I figure the humans will get in soon, so I left my bridges open so my traps would deal with the orcs. Unfortunately, the humans just sat on the edge of the map. More unfortunately, I forgot orcs are trap immune. So my marksdwarves (all 3 of them, my entire army) shot the oncoming orcs as I told my dwarves to pull the level to close my innermost and outermost of 3 drawbridges. By the time the dwarf gets to the levers, the orcs are between my second and outer drawbridges. This is when I realize they are trap immune. Then, I also notice my inner most drawbridge I had forgotten to hook the level up to. By that point, the orcs are on the second drawbridge, which due to the inner on being not hooked up was my last defense. By the time the level for that bridge is pulled, all but two of the orcs have run over the bridge, and proceed to slaughter my 3 marksdwarves. Then, since my innermost bridge was not hooked up, they run in and proceed to slaughter civilians. I recruit the entire fort, and send them all at the attackers. After a big melee brawl near my main stairway, all but 2 orcs are dead, with a majority of my dwarves dead and many of the survivors wounded. The final two orcs are eventually hunted down. Overall, my fort with a population of 79 went down to a population of 12. 8 of which are to wounded to get out of bed, at least half of that 8 permanently. Of the remaining 4, are a ledgendary miner, a peasant, a legendary child (fell moods ftw) and an unskilled child. With miasma flooding through the main stairway, both children are tantruming (as children are prone to doing after watching 75 of their friends get slaughtered by orcs). The miner and peasant seem somewhat unphased by the event somehow, probably due to my ledgendary dining rooms. The fort ran out of ale, and I am currently trying to pull it back from the brink of destruction. *sigh* I have my work cut out for me.

This isn't really a 'face palm moment...' More of "A series of unfortunate events."

Now I have learned my lesson... Open the gates only for migrants!

Edit: make that 11 survivors... The tantrumming ledgendary child just threw a wounded planter down the main stairway (about 7 z levels).

make that 10... 1 died of thirst now...
9... 1 went crazy
8... 1 starved
7... another died of thirst
6... 1 hunger... just 2 wounded left
Taking care of the wounded: URE DOIN IT WRONG!
This place makes Boatmurdered look tame...
Oh! It seems just to add insult to injury, A TITAN DECIDED TO SHOW UP!!! That means no migrants!
"No one even considered making the journey to such a cursed death-trap this season." Seems no migrants will be willing to come for a very long time...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Byakugan01 on June 01, 2009, 08:22:34 pm
CATCH that titan, and tame it (through modding). They will come. Breached keys was in a FAR worse state, and it managed to pull back. And that was from a boatmurder-esque tantrum spiral. Only with psychotic woodcutters instead of flaming engravers. Worse state, as in "only migrant with ability to restore fort is across a hippo infested river, or I have to rely on a tantrumming child to destroy the one bed the legendary miner is resting in".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tigershark13 on June 01, 2009, 10:04:25 pm
ultimate one? well i tend to have stone stockpiles outside what i'm building, with ramps on the outside wall for easy access for roofing (I was making an above ground fort) and while i'm finishing off the entrance hall for the barracks.. Orcs come "Oh this will be no problem" I think as i recruit my 7 dwarves and pull them into the doorless barracks, safe in the knowledge that the enemy cannot break through the entrance ha-...oh wait... NOO the orcs climb the ramp, and go down the stairs I had ready to place archers on the roof later game.... 2 dwarves got out of the barracks into the dining room (swiftly locking the door) one went insane and started throwing his clothes around.. the last survivor eventually went melancholy and refused to eat...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: alway on June 02, 2009, 06:02:09 am
Yay! A few seasons later, one of the two remaining wounded healed fully and is back to work! Now I am up to 3 adults and 2 children uninjured!

One of the children grew up, so now I have a ledgendary peasant (lol).

And once again, no migrants came to my 'cursed death-trap.'   :'(

And now, a year and a half after they all got slaughtered... Yet another message telling me no migrants are coming. I really hope it isn't much longer before they do...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pyrophoricity on June 02, 2009, 08:09:33 am
Placing my entire army in the arena, lifting the bridges and attempting to pit a Titan in.

Mr Titan didn't take to kindly to the attempted pitting, broke free and tore open my Mayor and about ten other dwarves before I could get the bridge down to sort it out.

I facepalmed hard at that one..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: alway on June 02, 2009, 02:57:15 pm
Another facepalm moment just occured. Same fort.
Remember what I said above?
Quote from: alway on June 01, 2009, 06:58:43 pm
Now I have learned my lesson... Open the gates only for migrants!
Well I lied. I opened the gates for some elven traders. Guess what came with them? A band of freeking trap immune kobold marksmen!!! I didn't even know kobold had bands which could attack! Of my 6 remaining dwarves, 2 died, and 1 received a yellow wound. Great. Now all I have left is a child and 3 adults. And I think there may be more kobolds sneeking around in my fort somewheres.

I hate elves. I hate orcs. I hate humans. I hate kobolds. I hate everything except migrants. Dangit, it is about time to build a magma cannon.

Edit: and for the fourth time in a row, no migrants want to come...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on June 02, 2009, 04:44:48 pm
Kobold marksmen come if they steel too much junk from you.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: puke on June 02, 2009, 05:01:03 pm
i'm not sure its related to that, i think i've had kobold ambushers (i dont think kobolds ever seige) in pretty new forts where nothing had been stolen yet.

i think its just random, or perhaps related to the closeness of your kobold civs.

either way, it might be a good idea (maybe you tried this, i didnt read the earlier posts in detail) to build an "airlock" around your trade depot, with an inner and an outter door.  only open the outer door until the traders (or even migrants are inside, then close the outer door and open the inner if there is a cause.

for bonus points, make the whole thing floodable with the fluid of your choice.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Esgar on June 02, 2009, 05:07:29 pm
While working on one of my first forts, I found a volcano rather early. Not too far from my main door was said volcano. I, being the industrious Dwarf that I am, dug all the way to the warm walls. I then wondered, "Hmmm, I wonder if diagonal warm walls will release magma if they're dug through?". Turns out they do. 5/7 of my dwarves locked themselves in their rooms while the magma filled the hallways! A desperate release of the irrigation system only created an obsidian dam, trapping the poor souls in their rooms where they expired from heat (and one from injuries, despite being A-OK when he went in). The last two were trapped in the basement with enough food to last them a very, very long time.

Lesson learned. Diagonals do count.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: alway on June 02, 2009, 05:08:21 pm
Ya, I have an airlock (3 drawbridges, outer, middle, inner) but with the few dwarves I had, getting one to pull the level is a pain. The problem was I would order the outer and inner birdges shut at the same time. However, a dwarf would eventually come open the inner one, but then due to the scarcity of 'no job' dwarfs to pull the other lever, the outer would remain open.
But yay! A dwarven trade caravan (the only ones I let in now) came. Almost immediately after it left, a wave of migrants came! Now my fort is back up to 11 dwarves! This is very good since it means they are getting over the fact that my fort is a 'cursed death-trap.' It took 3 years for migrants to come... lol.
The kobolds steal all sorts of crap from me, since I had a bunch of dead orcs and dwarves strewn about, with many iron/steel items laying around outside as well (probably from the human caravan that got slaughtered). I am suprised the kobolds don't go retire in the bahamas with the value of all the stuff they stole.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on June 05, 2009, 03:22:08 am
I build a drowning chamber.  It was my very first one, so i put lots of polish on it. 

I also built the pressure plates directly in the middle of the chamber itself.

I also realized that the dwarves should be able ot see the goblins from around the "L" bend, so i decided that the wall for the L bend should be made of glass.  That way, any dwarf coming around the corner could see the incoming goblins, and flee.  However, when i caught my first goblins, the i finally realized that with the levers located a few spaces from the windows, dwarves were afraid to hit the level to drown them. or open the flood gates.  It took nearly 3 minutes for someone to run toward the lever and drown them. 

Then i noticed the gates dissapearring.  Turns out the goblins were running back and forth over the pressure plates as the water came in, opening the doors.  They would run BACK INTO the fortress hitting the pressure plates, closing them in.  They eventually drowned, but i had to move the pressure plates, and the levers. 


another Facepalm: I embarked a miner with back up skills in woodcutting.  ITs not an issue until you figure out that a miner is unable to use woodcutting, since he can have ONLY a pick or an axe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Blaarg on June 05, 2009, 11:17:46 am
I had an outdoor furniture stockpile right next to an exterior carpenter shop.  I put a meeting site set on top of it so that my war dogs would protect it from theft.  Along comes a zombie fire imp.  Ah, fire imps are wimps, I'll just leave it to the war dogs.  I look elsewhere for a little while and come back when I get a message about one of my dogs dying.  Oh look, a flash fire has started right beside my wooden furniture stockpile...  And I had cut down all the trees on the map, so there won't be any wood left afterwards either...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Itnetlolor on June 05, 2009, 09:32:26 pm
Lazy as I am, I'll just copy the quote. Here's a little something I overlooked. And as a designer, I'm annoyed at myself for this.

The moment in question...

Quote from: Itnetlolor on June 05, 2009, 09:28:35 pm
Quote from: Lexender on June 05, 2009, 08:46:25 pm
You could also remove cave-ins from the init file.
Let me add that to the facepalm moments please...

Aw screw it, :facedesk:, I had some interesting ideas to use that required no cave-ins to look/work properly. I didn't know you could do that. :starts recollecting past ideas:

I'm going to make a mostly self-sufficient airship to get to anyone's floating island now if you don't mind. :rubs head in pain while trotting off:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jack_Bread on June 05, 2009, 10:00:39 pm
I wanted an area for water to flow through to a well. I dug out the channel. It was then I realized I had flooded my fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kwilco on June 05, 2009, 10:53:20 pm
Deciding to make a waterfall into my fort (for the lovely mist). My drainage chamber underneath didn't go anywhere, so it slowly filled up. Then my fort drowned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on June 06, 2009, 06:14:19 pm
When, in my forest retreat, I realized I brought two anvils, so didn't need to wait for one.

When, in my forest retreat, I realized there was enough steel on the caravan to get a steel bat.

When, in late summer in my forest retreat, I realized I already had enough steel to do it with the greaves and menacing spike I got.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samus1111111 on June 06, 2009, 06:22:23 pm
on my cold fortress that I just started, there was a magma pipe that reached the surface. I decided to dig my fortress into the mountain directly behind the pipe. As my miner was digging and everyone else was going about their jobs, out pops a fire imp. This dastardly fire imp shot a fire ball which landed about 600 yards away. The chain reaction was that it started a fire in the grass. I instantly recruited all of my 7 dwarves and they wrestled him to the ground. As soon as they were done and I deactivated them, out pop the other 6 fire imps. They start shooting fireballs left and right starting more fires. I lose 3 dwarves in the fire and 1 fighting the imps. I also lost all of the animals that came with me. So, before I even dug my stairs down into the earth, I had lost 4 out of 7 dwarves, 10 animals, and burned up half of the map.

EDIT: I also learned that trees don't burn in wild fires ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on June 07, 2009, 02:24:46 am
Quote from: Time Kitten on June 06, 2009, 06:14:19 pm
When, in my forest retreat, I realized I brought two anvils, so didn't need to wait for one.

When, in my forest retreat, I realized there was enough steel on the caravan to get a steel bat.

When, in late summer in my forest retreat, I realized I already had enough steel to do it with the greaves and menacing spike I got.
A what?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gergination on June 07, 2009, 02:44:52 am
Pretty much every time I try and collapse a section of cavern on purpose I screw something up and somebody ends up dead or a slobbering mess (nerve damage).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThtblovesDF on June 07, 2009, 03:16:48 am
Quote from: Lymojo on May 31, 2009, 03:57:35 pm
New one. I just read that when designating mining areas using the mouse, apparently right clicking will function the same as hitting enter. So you can select an entire rectangle of arbitrary area in two clicks.

I had completely given up on using the mouse because I thought you could only designate tiles one at a time!

Holy Carp on Fire in Magma, Wow.

Time spend designating -70%
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lymojo on June 07, 2009, 03:41:30 am
I still haven't actually tested it myself, but followup posts seem to suggest that the right click only re-positions your cursor.

Right-click followed by enter will do what you want, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Leafsnail on June 07, 2009, 04:38:32 am
Quote from: Time Kitten on June 06, 2009, 06:14:19 pm
When, in my forest retreat, I realized I brought two anvils, so didn't need to wait for one.

When, in my forest retreat, I realized there was enough steel on the caravan to get a steel bat.

When, in late summer in my forest retreat, I realized I already had enough steel to do it with the greaves and menacing spike I got.
Woah, 2 anvils?  You're dwarves skills can't have been great...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on June 07, 2009, 10:06:25 am
Anvils are great for selling to caravans.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neruz on June 07, 2009, 10:13:31 am
Nah, too heavy, and they're only worth 1k each (3k for steel.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on June 07, 2009, 10:17:27 am
Quote from: Leafsnail on June 07, 2009, 04:38:32 am
Woah, 2 anvils?  You're dwarves skills can't have been great...

7 5  4  basic peasants, low resource challenge.and both anvils stay, or the fort stops being Nobzitar.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on June 07, 2009, 10:26:04 am
Yeah, if you really suck at making anvils, I guess.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: boonshanka on June 20, 2009, 12:22:19 pm
Early on in the game I feel like I have fancy plumber shoes and I want to try them out.  I build a nice well a couple z-levels down with the water source, a couple z-l evels up ;p This is when I discover that the water not only fills my wells, but my fort too! Damn you water pressure.  On a happier note, I discovered that diagonal plumbing resets water pressure (from the wiki). That made my day.

Too see diagonal plumbing ;p Click Here!
(proudly sponsored by FacePalm Cheese Cola tm)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Aaah and digging a huge pit using nothing but mass dig and channels... and then discovering the The Dwarf Support Mechanism Demolition Technique.

Awesome thread by the way :D If only I discovered it when I first started playing! haha
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Leafsnail on June 20, 2009, 12:25:47 pm
I always build my wells on top of rivers and wall off a small area around them.  I blame laziness.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dogstile on June 20, 2009, 04:11:37 pm
Quote from: AncientEnemy on April 20, 2009, 09:18:57 pm
discovering the d->b menu.

oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones

*facepalm* you have got to be kidding me... its that easy?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Efun on June 20, 2009, 06:12:56 pm
Quote from: dogstile on June 20, 2009, 04:11:37 pm
Quote from: AncientEnemy on April 20, 2009, 09:18:57 pm
discovering the d->b menu.

oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones

*facepalm* you have got to be kidding me... its that easy?

*pats on shoulder* I was like you once... Yes, it is that easy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AtomicPaperclip on June 20, 2009, 06:21:29 pm
(recent)

I had been anxiously waiting for a moment to lower my bridge in a very high traffic area.

FINALLY there was a break in dwarf flow and I pulled the lever

After a large series of announcements I realized that lever was connected to TWO bridges.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chicostick on June 21, 2009, 12:05:32 am
I was hooking up a waterwheel to an underground river. In the process of expanding to put more in, I channeled out an area. Then I looked down and realized that I had just opened the river up to my lower floor, flooding the entire area. I tried to get my legendary miners to build walls, but I couldn't get them to in time.

Oh well, I later opened that lower floor up into a Bottomless Pit style chasm, and the water spread out to an area about 20 squares across. It also managed to sweep a bunch of troglodytes down to a level and kill them all.

The bad news is I had opened up that floor right at the beginning of the underground river, on one of the tiles marked "waterfall." Getting that floor back isn't going to happen.

Oh and another tip, don't accidentally set a Ballista to "fire at will" when it's facing a crowded entrance hallway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chalk on June 21, 2009, 12:14:22 am
Today, I learned the difference between a giant eagle and a skeletal giant eagle.

 :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Efun on June 21, 2009, 12:25:52 am
Quote from: Chalk on June 21, 2009, 12:14:22 am
Today, I learned the difference between a giant eagle and a skeletal giant eagle.

 :(

Skin and meat and.... a brain right....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haedrian on June 21, 2009, 03:39:07 am
My face palm moment was when I discovered that cooking doesn't preserve seeds, and I had just 1 plumb helmet spawn and no plumb helmets.

Fortunatly due to the massive over-spawning of animals, my fortress survived due to all the meat. They were breeding so fast I needed to build 3 butchers with all the plutter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doppel on June 21, 2009, 05:25:25 am
Finding the joy of the v button when creatures are standing on the same tile. Seriously, i've been playing this game for freaking ages without v, i guess brain injuries truly don't heal.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on June 21, 2009, 07:19:02 am
Quote from: AtomicPaperclip on June 20, 2009, 06:21:29 pm
After a large series of announcements I realized that lever was connected to TWO bridges.
And the other bridge...?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: warlordzephyr on June 21, 2009, 07:19:57 am
When i realised that i could scroll down on the wounds menu to see if dwarves had spine injuries, must have spent alot on drinks trying to recover my throat after shouting at the recruits so much.
Title: -
Post by: redacted123 on June 21, 2009, 08:01:55 am
-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lehmusjoki on June 21, 2009, 08:11:54 am
Quote from: calls002 on June 21, 2009, 08:01:55 am
Collapsing a sky floor I had given up on, only to see it fall through my fortress, smashing its way down, before hitting a high pressure water pipe, flooding everything. Also, it destroyed the only bridge out.
AMEN!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chalk on June 22, 2009, 01:47:01 pm
At one point in my fortress, I had ~50 cats in one cage, and I had to rebuild it somewhere else to make room for a workshop.

To make a long story short, all of them escaped, half got chucked down a very tall staircase to a splatty doom, and my best carpenter ended up with four kittens following him around.

At least they weren't on fire this time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scruga on June 22, 2009, 03:14:49 pm
Quote from: calls002 on June 21, 2009, 08:01:55 am
Collapsing a sky floor I had given up on, only to see it fall through my fortress, smashing its way down, before hitting a high pressure water pipe, flooding everything. Also, it destroyed the only bridge out.

Sigged
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Agnostic Paladin on June 22, 2009, 09:47:44 pm
Quote from: zchris13 on April 24, 2009, 06:16:31 pm
And Shift + Enter to select the first however many stones in a group of stones.

I don't have to hit Enter 30 times (or a 100 times) when making floors and roads?

Well Damn.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ToonyMan on June 22, 2009, 09:53:05 pm
Quote from: Agnostic Paladin on June 22, 2009, 09:47:44 pm
Quote from: zchris13 on April 24, 2009, 06:16:31 pm
And Shift + Enter to select the first however many stones in a group of stones.

I don't have to hit Enter 30 times (or a 100 times) when making floors and roads?

Well Damn.

I remember when I didn't know that, ha.  It was brutal.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on June 23, 2009, 12:18:16 am
Quote from: ToonyMan on June 22, 2009, 09:53:05 pm
Quote from: Agnostic Paladin on June 22, 2009, 09:47:44 pm
Quote from: zchris13 on April 24, 2009, 06:16:31 pm
And Shift + Enter to select the first however many stones in a group of stones.

I don't have to hit Enter 30 times (or a 100 times) when making floors and roads?

Well Damn.

I remember when I didn't know that, ha.  It was brutal.

On a similar note, discovering that you can use the arrow keys to move walls/roads/etc around before locking them down for construction. I don't have to get them in exactly the right place first try!?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ktstyle on June 23, 2009, 01:48:34 am
On my third fortress, at the ocean shore:

"Oh, i killed my first fire imp, must be valuable, I'll butcher it."

2 minutes later: "Smoke in my food store? Fu... The booze is on fire!"

20 minutes and some useless efforts to save the situation later: the last tantrum-crippled dwarf dies of thirst

*sigh*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ironhand on June 23, 2009, 07:32:11 am
Yeah, I built a 16-z-level dome before I figured out the shift-enter thing...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: warlordzephyr on June 23, 2009, 07:54:48 am
lol pretty much all the building related problems can be solved by reading the menues
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrFake on June 23, 2009, 09:39:59 am
j->m->q

...and realizing that "Manager" wasn't a pointless position.

It wouldn't be much of a facepalm, if it weren't that I'd scanned that list a few dozen times over many forts before realizing what it was for.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on June 23, 2009, 10:11:43 am
Quote from: MrFake on June 23, 2009, 09:39:59 am
j->m->q

...and realizing that "Manager" wasn't a pointless position.

It wouldn't be much of a facepalm, if it weren't that I'd scanned that list a few dozen times over many forts before realizing what it was for.

If your manager isn't stuck in bed with a broken arm, it is much easier to fulfill mandates.  You just figure out what you need for the mandate(be it some more metal bars, or just some stuff milled out), and then go tell the manager to manage.  I love managers.  :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Masennus on June 23, 2009, 10:16:17 am
I am working on a megaproject involving casting lots of obsidian, including in some ... hard to reach places. I set up a long pipe to pump magma through, partly dug through the mountain, partly some walls above ground. I set up about 100 lever-operated doors that'll open to mix the magma and the water, walled off a chamber to fill with water from the aquifer, you get the idea. Tons of preparation.

Then I turned on the pumps. The water filled nicely. The magma was moving more slowly. I figured this was due to it being thicker than water. I waited for a few more "cancels pump, exhausted" cycles, and checked the magma again. It hasn't moved.

A freaking tree grew in my pipe.

Now I've got 7/7 magma filling most of a long pipe. I opened up the far end of the pipe to send a woodcutter in to get rid of the tree, but he won't go. I'm going to have to vent the magma out into the grass...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on June 23, 2009, 10:41:53 am
That's so annoying! Gosh.

Good luck. Try building a detour that's all bendy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skid on June 23, 2009, 11:25:04 am
Don't vent it into the grass until you evacuate everybody or set up firebreaks. 

Personal experience: I just had the material part of an early fortress wiped out because I forgot to put in the last tile of a magma channel and it went all over the place when the power system got hooked up.  I was able to stop that by the pull of a lever, but by then the magma had ignited the grass and flames were eating my outdoor stockpiles.  My dwarves were only saved by drafting them all and ordering them across the river.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kefkakrazy on June 23, 2009, 11:56:17 am
Quote from: CobaltKobold on June 21, 2009, 07:19:02 am
Quote from: AtomicPaperclip on June 20, 2009, 06:21:29 pm
After a large series of announcements I realized that lever was connected to TWO bridges.
And the other bridge...?

By the context I'm going to go ahead and assume that the other bridge was also connected to high-traffic areas, since the most likely announcements are either "we can't get there, boss" or "Urist McButcher is splattered all over the pit, boss"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Masennus on June 23, 2009, 01:28:31 pm
Turns out the woodcutter couldn't cut the tree not because he was afraid of magma (dwarves aren't afraid of a little fire!) but because the only access to the tree was on a diagonal.

That's pretty /facepalm. All that magma in the grass for nothing!

Ah well. Things are moving along as designed now. I only hope the magma reaches the end of the pipe before the two saplings growing down there mature...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on June 23, 2009, 01:55:21 pm
Build a road over the magma path. Floor will work too, but roads need fewer tiles.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Teranar on June 23, 2009, 03:23:59 pm
I had built a grand fortress with beautiful waterfalls to make all my dwarves happy, and a volcano magma defense system in place in case sieges got too nasty.

Ever seen what happens when your waterfalls suddenly turn into magma when the magma flows into where I initially drained in the water? I have.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Humberticus on June 23, 2009, 03:29:54 pm
I'm really hoping there's an easier way, but is there a way to select all the items you have to sell in a trade depot in a single shot instead of pushing enter a billion times?

I'm really hoping this turns into a facepalm moment for me. :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ieb on June 23, 2009, 04:01:22 pm
Bins. Make wooden bins, put crafts/merchandise in, then during Trade, just select the bin to be traded. It and all it's content is then traded.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Azoth on June 23, 2009, 05:18:37 pm
Just went to mark all my puppies for slaughter, and accidently made them all available for adoption. Didn't notice until after I watched my butcher stand motionless in his room for half a minute... gaah.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lymojo on June 23, 2009, 05:29:32 pm
Quote from: Teranar on June 23, 2009, 03:23:59 pm
I had built a grand fortress with beautiful waterfalls to make all my dwarves happy, and a volcano magma defense system in place in case sieges got too nasty.

Ever seen what happens when your waterfalls suddenly turn into magma when the magma flows into where I initially drained in the water? I have.

That's awesome.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fist_Of_Armok on June 23, 2009, 06:12:25 pm
Lymojo, what's your avatar (besides, obviously, a Pikachu?)

For me, well...

Giant bat attacks one of my dorfs. I figure, "Can't be too bad, can it?" I draft him.

He dies.

That goddamn bat slaughtered my entire fortress. I took sadistic glee in slaughtering it later when I reclaimed. I think I laughed insanely as it was mobbed by axedorfs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LegacyCWAL on June 23, 2009, 06:34:02 pm
I finally got around to getting the Orc Mod, and during embark setup, I wanted to make sure that everything was as perfect as possible because I didn't know what to expect.  I got the skills all matched up to preferences and everything.  So I embarked.

And then I found out that I only had one miner, instead of two.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AtomicPaperclip on June 23, 2009, 07:06:41 pm
Quote from: Teranar on June 23, 2009, 03:23:59 pm
Ever seen what happens when your waterfalls suddenly turn into magma when the magma flows into where I initially drained in the water? I have.

You win the thread.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lymojo on June 24, 2009, 01:23:27 pm
Quote from: Fist_Of_Armok on June 23, 2009, 06:12:25 pm
Lymojo, what's your avatar (besides, obviously, a Pikachu?)

Well on the selectbutton forums it's apparently a really hep thing to redraw different Pokemon, particularly Pikachu, in weird or mundane roles.
I drew him as a sort of surly, pepto-bismol-chugging management type. Like a harried stockbroker or impatient editor-in-chief wagging his pen at a subordinate.
His suit is the one Gordon Gekko is wearing the first time you see him in Wall Street.

I'd ask about yours but it's very clearly a sprite for a Kobold Pimp. Can you post the raws?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on June 24, 2009, 02:12:24 pm
Quote from: Ieb on June 23, 2009, 04:01:22 pm
Bins. Make wooden bins, put crafts/merchandise in, then during Trade, just select the bin to be traded. It and all it's content is then traded.

Still, sometimes you might not want to sell the bins, like for example a wood scarce map or elves.

My current fortress is on the coast and despite the biome having said scarce trees and other plants, however the place is treeless, not even a young saguaro to be seen. The shrubs are more abundant than typical as a result.

If the elven diplomat complains about treecutting when there never were any trees in the first place, I'm going to tear him a new one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on June 24, 2009, 02:14:58 pm
The only way to fix this is to cut down all the shrubs.

Two ways do that.  Dwarves, or magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on June 24, 2009, 04:39:41 pm
I keep redsignating the shrubs, but I'm still in the summer of the second year and so I don't have enough dwarfpower so to speak to make a dent as more shrubs keep popping up. I have 4 dwarves set up in the farming/proccessing sector, so, it'll take a few more immigration waves to make a big enough dent.

I have a magma source (not set up yet though), so it's not situation critical or anything and I asked the dwarven liason to bring wood the next time (which is soon). Once the humans come in a few years, I'll have a source from them.

Really, the primary need for wood right now is just beds and to a lesser extent, barrels and bins. The barrels and bins I can make out of metal later.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LegacyCWAL on June 24, 2009, 04:43:13 pm
If you really want to get rid of shrubs, start building dirt roads everywhere.

Also, while magma will take out shrubs, fire won't.  That means that you'd have to coat the entire map with magma to clear it of shrubs (which isn't necessarily a bad thing ;) ).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on June 24, 2009, 05:01:45 pm
Quote from: LegacyCWAL on June 24, 2009, 04:43:13 pm
If you really want to get rid of shrubs, start building dirt roads everywhere.

Also, while magma will take out shrubs, fire won't.  That means that you'd have to coat the entire map with magma to clear it of shrubs (which isn't necessarily a bad thing ;) ).

I'm in a desert anyways.

Edit: I did use reveal early on, but I did a manual crash instead of saving that revealed version. There were actually no trees present from the start, so.....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Masennus on June 24, 2009, 08:33:51 pm
Quote from: smjjames on June 24, 2009, 02:12:24 pm
Quote from: Ieb on June 23, 2009, 04:01:22 pm
Bins. Make wooden bins, put crafts/merchandise in, then during Trade, just select the bin to be traded. It and all it's content is then traded.

Still, sometimes you might not want to sell the bins, like for example a wood scarce map or elves.

You don't have to sell the bins just because they were carried to the depot. The trade screen will show all the contents of the bins, which you can trade individually. Precious bins will be kept and restocked into your piles once trading is finished.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on June 24, 2009, 10:08:03 pm
Quote from: smjjames on June 24, 2009, 05:01:45 pm
Quote from: LegacyCWAL on June 24, 2009, 04:43:13 pm
If you really want to get rid of shrubs, start building dirt roads everywhere.

Also, while magma will take out shrubs, fire won't.  That means that you'd have to coat the entire map with magma to clear it of shrubs (which isn't necessarily a bad thing ;) ).

I'm in a desert anyways.

Edit: I did use reveal early on, but I did a manual crash instead of saving that revealed version. There were actually no trees present from the start, so.....

I'm trying that dirt road method, it took a while for me to designate the entire map and the shrubs just keep coming back soon after. I think this is truly a tree-less map and the tree line must extend pretty far back. I think the scarce wood is counting the driftwood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ter13 on June 25, 2009, 10:49:24 am
Channeling tiles over an aquifer in a freezing biome. I had already channeled into the aquifer, so the water was insta-freezing as I channeled the tiles above it. I decided to go and smoke and found out that both of my miners, who had both of my pickaxes, had decided to miraculously channel some tiles in the wrong order and get sucked down into the water... As it froze.

Of course, there was also the time that I accidentally channeled two tiles without realizing it, leaving a nice gaping hole for a zombie giant bat to come into my fortress, kill six dwarves, and wound the last remaining dwarf... Did I mention that it systematically hunted down all my dogs, cats, and horses too? And did I also mention the asshole bat LIVED, killed six adventurers in a row, and had five weapons stuck in it by the end of the entire ordeal?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LegacyCWAL on June 25, 2009, 10:53:32 am
Quote from: smjjames on June 24, 2009, 10:08:03 pm
I'm trying that dirt road method, it took a while for me to designate the entire map and the shrubs just keep coming back soon after. I think this is truly a tree-less map and the tree line must extend pretty far back. I think the scarce wood is counting the driftwood.

Yeah, the shrubs will keep coming back, but they'll also keep coming back if you harvest them all.  Clearing the map of shrubs (regardless of method) is mostly just a way to keep shrubs from gradually choking out the trees by taking up more and more tiles.

It sounds like your area is indeed either treeless or else might as well be.  Better get ready to do a lot of buying from traders :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on June 25, 2009, 01:32:09 pm
I was already planning on doing alot of buying from traders. I got the humans the first time and in fact, they had a whole load of wood. I guess word got around that wood is in demand here. The abundance of shrubs actually provides a great source of food and so it's easy to stockpile alot of them.

Anyways, I messed up the savescum and couldn't get back to pre-abandoned fortress. I started a new one and then last night I realized I could have just done a reclaim, which I'll probably do now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nerdgasmic on June 25, 2009, 03:47:52 pm
Ugh. I started a new fortress today.

I was stupid and forgot to channel a grated pool from the river, so both of my miners were slaughtered by carp. I had to restart.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sourlout on June 25, 2009, 06:20:27 pm
I normally place the meeting area for my dwarfs outside so that they don't get cave adaptation.  Yet, I still want to provide them a sheltered area so I will also build a roof over their little heads so I prevent 'caught in the rain' bad thoughts.

However, the access to the newly constructed roof was an up stair constructed upon a naturally dug down stair.  That wasn't desirable because the downstairs couldn't be used anymore.  So, I removed the constructed up stairwell so that I could replace it with an up/down stairwell.

....well, it turns out that up stair was the only thing holding up the entire roof over the meeting area.  So, it collapsed.  Also, the meeting area was over the living quarters and dinning hall.... so anyone who was  on break, eating or sleeping was instantly killed.  Worse, all the beds were destroyed, which prevented anyone who did survive from being nursed back to health. 

In all total, over 25 dwarfs died by this one mistake, including a legendary glass maker and the dwarfed named for me as I was playing a Bloodline game.  Woops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on June 25, 2009, 08:15:55 pm
Well, I was going to complain about building a pump tower and 4-square long aqueduct for nothing (at least not without pulling up a couple of hundred tiles of floor above a dug-around magma pipe), but it seems slightly insignificant now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fist_Of_Armok on June 25, 2009, 08:38:43 pm
Quote from: Lymojo on June 24, 2009, 01:23:27 pm
Quote from: Fist_Of_Armok on June 23, 2009, 06:12:25 pm
Lymojo, what's your avatar (besides, obviously, a Pikachu?)

I'd ask about yours but it's very clearly a sprite for a Kobold Pimp. Can you post the raws?

It's actually supposed to be a replacement for the current Kobold Noble, which looks like a dude in a dress; rather amusingly silly, and not at all impressive as any noble should be. As such (and partially due to a few amusing engravings in my last Kobold Camp suggesting that my kobolds' leader had gotten to that point by sleeping around before being thrown out once discovered) I made the Kobold Pimp sprite from the Swordmaster-even if, admittedly, the only things remaining are the hat and cape.

The staff is supposed to have a gem on top, but it didn't work out as planned-and regrettably, Shorer, Groger, and all my other important kobolds, plus my favorite Spearchampion, were KILL BY GOBLINS. What a shame.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: skaltum on July 02, 2009, 03:32:18 pm
ach my worst moment was realising i could save ballista arrows by channeling in front of the wall so it falls down and i lost 7 dwarves and 9 pets when they decided to go cleanup the mess and get pinned against the walls. the other time was when i made a water resivoir and channeled the wrong tile BEFORE the door was in place. god i hated carp when the fort got flooded  >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Blackburn on July 02, 2009, 03:46:31 pm
Realizing I could dig upwards through ramps.

Getting acquainted with collapsing floors by mining out a few tiles of island in a murky pool, then watching them plummet through several floors of my fortress, killing the miner and using perfect precision to land on a craftsdwarf, killing him as well.

Discovering that I have to add the Captain of the Guard to the Fortress Guard.

Figuring out how to use the military.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: skaltum on July 02, 2009, 03:51:06 pm
Quote from: Blackburn on July 02, 2009, 03:46:31 pm
Getting acquainted with collapsing floors by mining out a few tiles of island in a murky pool, then watching them plummet through several floors of my fortress, killing the miner and using perfect precision to land on a craftsdwarf, killing him as well.

worst monent i had with cave ins was when i accidentally removed the one piece of wall that had the kingpin support suspending the fort over a volcano. i have never seen such a long list of " " has died in the heat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Blackburn on July 02, 2009, 03:52:46 pm
Quote from: skaltum on July 02, 2009, 03:51:06 pm
Quote from: Blackburn on July 02, 2009, 03:46:31 pm
Getting acquainted with collapsing floors by mining out a few tiles of island in a murky pool, then watching them plummet through several floors of my fortress, killing the miner and using perfect precision to land on a craftsdwarf, killing him as well.

worst monent i had with cave ins was when i accidentally removed the one piece of wall that had the kingpin support suspending the fort over a volcano. i have never seen such a long list of " " has died in the heat.
You dropped the fort into the volcano?

...Awesome.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AtomicPaperclip on July 02, 2009, 03:59:08 pm
Quote from: Blackburn on July 02, 2009, 03:46:31 pm
Discovering that I have to add the Captain of the Guard to the Fortress Guard.

Wut ._.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: skaltum on July 02, 2009, 04:08:15 pm
Quote from: AtomicPaperclip on July 02, 2009, 03:59:08 pm
Quote from: Blackburn on July 02, 2009, 03:46:31 pm
Discovering that I have to add the Captain of the Guard to the Fortress Guard.

Wut ._.

*slightly off topic*

personally i havnt played the 2d version but since the move to 3d i think you always asigned book keeper, sherrif/captian of the guard, broker and manager. but i started with 40d so i dont know when it was actually implemented but in the 2d version as far as i know the captian of the guard was an immigrant noble

*slightly off topic*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: puke on July 02, 2009, 04:21:58 pm
trying to remember.. i think the sheriff would come, and would be promoted up to higher ranks like captain as your fortress grew in population.  same thing for the mayor.  you could assign dwarfs from the military into the fortress guard, or into the royal guard.  i never bothered.

but the royal guard axedwarfs that came with the king, those guys were badass.  only thing that saved my fort from a rampaging bronze collossus that had bypassed all my traps.  these days, you have to cheat just to get a bronze collossus to survive worldgen.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: skaltum on July 02, 2009, 04:34:15 pm
another facepalm monent for me was a tantrum spiral of 69 dwarves caused by a champion who was a legendary wrestler/hammerlord  :o who was armed with steel plate and an artifact iron warhammer who went on a rampage because she had been adopted by 7 cats including kittens 8) which i dumped into the magma masher (magma garbage dump) and killed the mayor who happened to be friends with more than half the population which set the ex-mayors wife to beat up the animals etc and it turns out that the pesky champion survived till the end while only suffering a broken upperbody 2 fingers on her left hand loped off and her right hand loped off. in the end she went mad and jumped in to the magma masher. never before have i seen so much dwarven death by tantrum.  :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Blackburn on July 02, 2009, 05:25:48 pm
Quote from: AtomicPaperclip on July 02, 2009, 03:59:08 pm
Quote from: Blackburn on July 02, 2009, 03:46:31 pm
Discovering that I have to add the Captain of the Guard to the Fortress Guard.

Wut ._.
When the population is high enough, the sheriff promotes to Captain of the Guard.

Except it doesn't automatically put him in the Fortress Guard. He's technically not a guard. I look at him, and it gives me the option to put him in the guard. If I don't, I think he just mills about, not doing much. Doesn't spar, I think.

Might be a glitch. Might.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on July 02, 2009, 05:27:50 pm
The nice thing about leaving the Captain of the Guard out of the Fortress Guard is that then he actually does work.  He still hunts down and beats up or jails criminals.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AtomicPaperclip on July 02, 2009, 05:45:43 pm
Quote from: Rockphed on July 02, 2009, 05:27:50 pm
The nice thing about leaving the Captain of the Guard out of the Fortress Guard is that then he actually does work.  He still hunts down and beats up or jails criminals.

Oh okay.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ShadowDragon8685 on July 02, 2009, 07:11:44 pm
I decided I wanted nice, tall cliffs, and since the fractal map generator was introduced, it never gives them to you.

So I made them. Not the hard way. The DWARF way.

By which I mean, I udermined the outlines of the cliffs I wanted, set up a lever and supports, channeled out so that there were gigantic plates of rock suspended by only a few supports like a wedding cake.

Then I PULLED THE LEVER..

Actually, pulling the lever worked perfectly well - in fact, it even saved me the trouble of finding the magma pipe, since it revealed it for me.

What did not work so hot was the fact that there was a plateau on one of the levels, unsupported by the rest of the level, but accessable from the level below. I forgot this, forgot to (a) support it to the rest of it's Z-level or (b) to leave out a square to be left alone.

Resulting in the idiot who undermined it squishing himself dramatically.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mad Larks on July 02, 2009, 09:20:36 pm
When I first discovered the joys of a bin.

"Oh Armok damn it, stupid finished goods stockpile filling up too quick...hey, whats this, bins?" *Makes some* "...Oh you have to got to be carping me." *facepalm*

When I first discovered noise.

"Why does my dwarves complain of sleeping uneasily due to noise?" *Checks the wiki* "..." *facepalm*

When I first discovered mass dumping.

When I thought that traps would spring on your dwarves if they walked over them, so I didn't bother with them.

Those are about the ones I can think of off the top of my head.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jualin on July 03, 2009, 02:46:04 am
The largest face palm moment I ever had was when I channeled the sea into my gem stockpile while trying to set up a desalinization pump.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jordo on July 03, 2009, 10:11:12 am
In one of my earliest forts, I dug into a small dirt hill. A stockpile in the back was dug in such a way that it left a diagonal opening. I ignored it, and my dwarves paid dearly. The goblins made it inside before I even knew there was an ambush! Plus, I had no army.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ralith on July 03, 2009, 11:00:37 am
I was angry with the inefficiency of a fort.
SO, I tried to flood it from a brook.

The first death was from dehydration.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grishnak on July 03, 2009, 06:06:10 pm
My best facepalm moment was this:

Thinking I was clever to "attempt" (yes its in quotes D: ) a "controlled" cave-in to make my fort look nicer.  There was a cave in allright, that dropped all of my miners into my moat, destroying the ONLY entrance to my fort (a draw bridge). I then carved out another entrance to go save said dwarves. This isnt the face palm moment yet. The face palm moment comes when I forgot to un designate the rest of the channeling on the parts that didnt cave in yet...

Which of course led to one dwarf rebuilding the bridge, going and saving one dwarf that didnt drown yet (SOMEHOW?), crossing the bridge at the EXACT time the other miner dwarves finished the "controlled" cave-in. YET AGAIN destroying the bridge, and falling into the EXACT same moat, but now with an extra casualty. The dwarf that tried to save the first one that almost died.


Amazingly none of them died! I <3 DF. ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ToonyMan on July 03, 2009, 06:22:17 pm
I sometimes forget when I'm making moats that channeling digs the tile below too.  Water or magma(!) floods my beloved fort.

*cries at lost forts this way
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on July 04, 2009, 01:00:37 am
Quote from: ShadowDragon8685 on July 02, 2009, 07:11:44 pm
I decided I wanted nice, tall cliffs, and since the fractal map generator was introduced, it never gives them to you.
Oh, it will, just not by default.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Dakoth on July 04, 2009, 01:11:30 am
I was going to build an underwater glass fortress. It was my first time working with glass. I created about 200 raw glass, only to find that you need GLASS BLOCKS to build constructions out of glass.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on July 04, 2009, 01:13:46 am
Train up your gemcutters, man. Totally!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kelbin on July 04, 2009, 08:03:23 pm
Aah yes, One of my old forts and my first fort to build a bridge and link it to a lever, I wanted to test it and so i ordered my dwarves to pull it and my ONLY miner was outside coming inside hauling something.

Urist mcminer has been crushed!

And that day i learned to:

1. Start with more then one pickaxe/miner.

2. Check bridges before ordering pull lever.

3. Remove haul duties from miners.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rowanas on July 05, 2009, 07:08:47 am
When I realised I was playing 0.27. and that's why the wiki was wrong :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ShadowDragon8685 on July 05, 2009, 01:33:31 pm
Quote from: CobaltKobold on July 04, 2009, 01:00:37 am
Quote from: ShadowDragon8685 on July 02, 2009, 07:11:44 pm
I decided I wanted nice, tall cliffs, and since the fractal map generator was introduced, it never gives them to you.
Oh, it will, just not by default.

What must I do to make that accursed piece of ramptastic nonsense give me sheer, tall the cliffs I crave?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on July 05, 2009, 01:36:59 pm
Quote from: ShadowDragon8685 on July 05, 2009, 01:33:31 pm
Quote from: CobaltKobold on July 04, 2009, 01:00:37 am
Quote from: ShadowDragon8685 on July 02, 2009, 07:11:44 pm
I decided I wanted nice, tall cliffs, and since the fractal map generator was introduced, it never gives them to you.
Oh, it will, just not by default.

What must I do to make that accursed piece of ramptastic nonsense give me sheer, tall the cliffs I crave?

I'm trying to get these as well. I think turning off erode extreme cliffs and increasing the elevation variation helps.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on July 05, 2009, 03:02:29 pm
today took the sheer cliffs out because it was screwing with world gen. Races weren't able to build roads like they should have been. 

but damn, i remember the last version when i had a river 27 z levels above my fortress.  I completely forgot about booze production, and about 40 dwarves died before i could get up there. *rolls eyes* My caravans were supplied quite well from that point on, tough. 

and in that same fortress, i wanted to water to all the dried up lakes on the bottom, so i built a channel from hte lake, to the bottom. i didnt' want the water to run out, and so i build a FOUR tile wide channel. I would up flooding the entire lower level, including where my fortress was. >.<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nymersic on July 07, 2009, 05:43:18 pm
Quote from: Marko on April 21, 2009, 01:13:46 am
causing a cave-in over a magma pipe to 'see what happens' then found out 10 z levels down that I had dug right up along the magma pipe, and the cave-in punctured the roof through all that magma, which sent red hot death flowing through my living quarters

I redirected a river into a volcano very early in my DF career to see what happens.  It took me about 30 seconds to realize that map was now completely useless and I'd have to start over now.  [lag]
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: carebear on July 07, 2009, 06:06:59 pm
When I learned about the existence of mass claim/forbid/dump/etc. commands.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nymersic on July 07, 2009, 08:01:35 pm
Quote from: decius on May 21, 2009, 08:03:57 pm
Embarked on freezing biome. The glacier never thawed naturally, so I set up a system to melt the ice with magma and direct the melted ice to the well, via waterfall.

Except I crossed the magma lines and the melt lines. And didn't use magma-safe materials on what should have been the water side of the line. And put all the levers to the magma supply in a little closet behind the well room, which is now full of magma.

Also: Mass construction?!?

Your fault; you should have paid attention when watching Ghostbusters.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lymojo on July 07, 2009, 09:59:08 pm
I'm not sure I get the Ghostbusters reference.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ArkDelgato on July 07, 2009, 10:01:45 pm
DON'T CROSS THE STREAMS!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wolfius on July 08, 2009, 02:47:40 am
Quote from: Kelbin on July 04, 2009, 08:03:23 pm
1. Start with more then one pickaxe/miner.


For a while now I've only started with one miner(often, an unskilled miner, 'cause they're so easy to train), but brought 7 cheap copper picks - no worries about lost picks, and I can retask other dwarves to mine temporarily if I want to quicken my start.

Also: emergency weapons. Enable mining befor conscription and recruits should use the pick and their mining skill to attack.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chalk on July 08, 2009, 03:45:36 am
Quote from: Wolfius on July 08, 2009, 02:47:40 am
Quote from: Kelbin on July 04, 2009, 08:03:23 pm
1. Start with more then one pickaxe/miner.


For a while now I've only started with one miner(often, an unskilled miner, 'cause they're so easy to train), but brought 7 cheap copper picks - no worries about lost picks, and I can retask other dwarves to mine temporarily if I want to quicken my start.

Also: emergency weapons. Enable mining befor conscription and recruits should use the pick and their mining skill to attack.
I like this idea! I've lost one too many forts to the nasty locals. Damned skeletal critters...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Papa Cauldur on July 08, 2009, 07:06:20 pm
Miners digging channels out from beneath them and drowning.

People pulling switches connected to bridges and then running over them.

Dwarven Darwinism. I never try and save them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SomGuye on July 11, 2009, 02:41:36 am
I'm gonna go ahead and post this story from my other thread.

I tell a miner to carve out a tunnel to the volcano to flood a small area with magma.
Well, the miner decided that he would rather stay and watch the show and soon finds himself waste deep in magma.
No burning, no tortured screams.  He is just standing there leveling up his Swimming ability.

I find out that Temperature was turned off in the Init file.  ( You see where this is going )

I correct the issue, suddenly a food stock pile is on fire, 5 dwarves, a cat and a baby are dead, the fortress is full of smoke and HALF the country side is caught up in a massive prairie fire.

So, as Hyndis said "business as usual."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ottofar on July 18, 2009, 01:51:08 pm
Just a few minutes ago, I noticed  that my legendary woodcutter/carpenter had dehydrated somewhere. I found him dead with other dehydrating/starving dwarf, who was legendary miner/mason/mechanic. He was still alive.  I caved in the floor they were on. The M/M/M dwarf survived the fall without injuries, or being knocked unconscious. He managed to crawl to my food stockpiles and started eating. Then: Urist McMinerMasonAndMechanic has died from thirst. That annoyed me.

Where is the worst deaths-thread, by the way?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wblueskylives on July 18, 2009, 03:39:48 pm
I'm still learning the game so I've had plenty of facepalms just from being a nub, but: I was digging out a moat that I planned on draining and reflooding continually, the idea being that I would trap invaders in there, flood it and drown them.
So one of my miners decided to get stuck, so I had him mine a tunnel back towards the fort figuring I could use it as a base for floodgates and levers for said floods.

Well, I didn't realize that enemies could move diagonally around things. Nor did I realize water could. And to top it off I forgot to lock the door I put down there. So the first ambush comes, I raise my drawbridge, they all run into the pit, I flood it.

Long story short: First ambush got around every trap I set up and basically destroyed everything. What they didn't destroy, the water did.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: h3lblad3 on July 18, 2009, 09:31:01 pm
I just set up an area to be channeled.

Both of my miners are now sitting right next to each other on these nice little islands.
You... IDIOTS!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kurisukun on July 18, 2009, 09:54:56 pm
I'm going with very large and uneccessary, but surprisngly efficient rooms in my current fortress.  So I design my floor which will be dedicated to smithing.  I mentioned large/uneccessary.  That floor can probably fit about 10-20 workshops per row.  And there are 9 rows.  So I run magma through the whole lot, and wait for it to get a steady 4 underneath it (to prevent a mood claiming it only to have it unactivate.  Had 2 metalcrafting moods during the time while it was filling too, glad I did)

I then try to build, only to realize that the very CENTER tile of every forge building cannot be over lava.  Guess where I'd run my chasms?


So I have to build floors over every single hole (30-60 tiles times 9) and then channel out another section row (this time in the right spot)  WITHOUT flooding the other infrastructure underneath it, and then I have to wait for it to fill.  Again.

My Glass mega-project is never getting done.....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jokuvaan on July 19, 2009, 05:37:40 am
making mega deathtrap and on test run accidentally wipe out half my fortress population...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: doctorspoof on July 19, 2009, 08:44:35 am
Most facepalming moment for me:

Had a nice fortress set up, fairly large, 100+ dwarves. Strong military. I decided my defences needed more, and began expanding my magma moat to consist of two seperate moats connected by a passage to share the magma. I channel it all out, and channel the final square to allow the magma to begin moving into the new moat.
Little did i realise that i had channeled through the roof of my food stockpile, the same stockpile that had 400+ Dwarven Wine stored in it.


There was fire. Lots and lots of fire. And the worst part? Everytime someone over the other side of the fortress got thirsty, they'd rather try and get a drink of boiling hot burning alcohol, than drink  from the stream outside. Typical dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lymojo on July 21, 2009, 11:07:40 pm
Quote from: kurisukun on July 18, 2009, 09:54:56 pm
I'm going with very large and uneccessary, but surprisngly efficient rooms in my current fortress.  So I design my floor which will be dedicated to smithing.  I mentioned large/uneccessary.  That floor can probably fit about 10-20 workshops per row.  And there are 9 rows.  So I run magma through the whole lot, and wait for it to get a steady 4 underneath it (to prevent a mood claiming it only to have it unactivate.  Had 2 metalcrafting moods during the time while it was filling too, glad I did)

I then try to build, only to realize that the very CENTER tile of every forge building cannot be over lava.  Guess where I'd run my chasms?


So I have to build floors over every single hole (30-60 tiles times 9) and then channel out another section row (this time in the right spot)  WITHOUT flooding the other infrastructure underneath it, and then I have to wait for it to fill.  Again.

My Glass mega-project is never getting done.....

Maybe I'm not understanding the problem fully but why do you need to completely fill in the tiles and then completely build a new channel for that? Wouldn't it be easier to just build floor tiles over the few empty gaps that will be supporting the center workshop tiles? You should only have to build one tile for each workshop and no additional channeling should be needed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vidalis on July 22, 2009, 11:02:22 am
Quote from: Lymojo on July 21, 2009, 11:07:40 pm
Quote from: kurisukun on July 18, 2009, 09:54:56 pm
I'm going with very large and uneccessary, but surprisngly efficient rooms in my current fortress.  So I design my floor which will be dedicated to smithing.  I mentioned large/uneccessary.  That floor can probably fit about 10-20 workshops per row.  And there are 9 rows.  So I run magma through the whole lot, and wait for it to get a steady 4 underneath it (to prevent a mood claiming it only to have it unactivate.  Had 2 metalcrafting moods during the time while it was filling too, glad I did)

I then try to build, only to realize that the very CENTER tile of every forge building cannot be over lava.  Guess where I'd run my chasms?


So I have to build floors over every single hole (30-60 tiles times 9) and then channel out another section row (this time in the right spot)  WITHOUT flooding the other infrastructure underneath it, and then I have to wait for it to fill.  Again.

My Glass mega-project is never getting done.....

Maybe I'm not understanding the problem fully but why do you need to completely fill in the tiles and then completely build a new channel for that? Wouldn't it be easier to just build floor tiles over the few empty gaps that will be supporting the center workshop tiles? You should only have to build one tile for each workshop and no additional channeling should be needed.
The minute he is going to read this will be a bigger face palm moment than that he just described.  ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sphalerite on July 22, 2009, 01:45:41 pm
I built an elaborate mechanical system whereby my fortress's surplus tame animal population could be channeled onto a retracting drawbridge over a deep drop with a refuse stockpile and a butcher's shop at the bottom.  I was hoping to be able to butcher large numbers of animals in a short period of time by automatically dropping their corpses right next to the butcher.  It was only after the first use of the device dropped dozens of baby animals to their doom that I discovered that tame animals which die by falling can't be butchered.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jim Groovester on July 22, 2009, 01:48:34 pm
Quote from: Sphalerite on July 22, 2009, 01:45:41 pm
...I discovered that tame animals which die by falling can't be butchered.

The cause of death is irrelevant. Dead tame animals can't be butchered.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hyndis on July 22, 2009, 02:16:26 pm
Quote from: Sphalerite on July 22, 2009, 01:45:41 pm
I built an elaborate mechanical system whereby my fortress's surplus tame animal population could be channeled onto a retracting drawbridge over a deep drop with a refuse stockpile and a butcher's shop at the bottom.  I was hoping to be able to butcher large numbers of animals in a short period of time by automatically dropping their corpses right next to the butcher.  It was only after the first use of the device dropped dozens of baby animals to their doom that I discovered that tame animals which die by falling can't be butchered.

Nope. But when they fall and explode they will produce far more bones than usual, which means you can decorate even more things with bone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dakk on July 22, 2009, 02:28:24 pm
Quote from: Jim Groovester on July 22, 2009, 01:48:34 pm
Quote from: Sphalerite on July 22, 2009, 01:45:41 pm
...I discovered that tame animals which die by falling can't be butchered.

The cause of death is irrelevant. Dead tame animals can't be butchered.

Unless they're slaughtered by a butcher, so yea.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Quantum Toast on July 22, 2009, 04:03:36 pm
Ordering the roof over my entrance channeled out for the benefit of the "dwarves don't go outside" order, only to watch the digger cheerfully collapse the floor under his feet and land on a cage trap.

Fortunately his bedroom has really smooth walls, so he didn't mind.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Puzzlemaker on July 22, 2009, 06:01:34 pm
Old one but good one:  I had found a site with a giant waterfall, and made my fortress built into the cliff with the waterfall re-routed through my fortress, through my dining hall, living areas, etc.  It all worked nicely, and drained well, and all that.

The only way into the fort was across the giant canyon carved by the second river.  I had set up a trap where any goblins that tried to make it across where flushed out of my entrance, and then dumped into a gladiator game (Or if they missed the net into a bunch of fish down below), where I would watch amused as they tried to make it out of my deathmaze alive.

Anyway, one goblin attack, everything was going as planned.  It was during the winter, and...
Oh wait, the water that was supposed to flush them out froze.  Now my entire entrance is frozen over, and my fort is flooding.
Crap.

Same map, different winter, a group of goblins suddenly ended up in my dining hall!  After an immediate WTF moment, I figured out what happened.  See, my draining system empties out into the river, and it froze during the winter.  While normally nobody can get up my maintenance shafts from the outside, the water had frozen over, giving them a nice, straight route straight into the very center of my fortress.  That was an epic facepalm moment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: skaltum on July 22, 2009, 07:22:17 pm
mhhhm heres a recent one. becoming fed up of the siege outside i decided to bridge my magma moat so the traps could finish them off. the dwarves were under ground but one of the enterance doors was jammed by a rock and so was a door in the meeting room. with impending doom so close i was forced to lock my 7 dwarves in the magma forges and during that one thought it was cool to grad a drink from the granery. sufice to say the granery and forges were safely locked but the onther 6 needed food and water so now i have an emergency tunnel and lost all but 1 dog to the menace while rhesus and raccoons ravaged my already tiny stocks of goods and my farms and nearly pulled the fateful lava flood lever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kefkakrazy on July 22, 2009, 08:24:59 pm
See, this is the reason why my fortress designs always incorporate a "dead layer"-the layer immediately below the fortress gate is left utterly empty as a cavein buffer, so I can't screw up and kaboom things so easily-this is good, considering that one of my favorite doomsday devices is, in essence, a gigantic sheet of solid DOOOOOOOOOOM to be dropped gently upon the heads of the unworthy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Itnetlolor on July 22, 2009, 09:34:09 pm
I made a recent botch in my plans. It turns out that a reason for a good share of a lack of ore processing and glassmaking was because I forgot to reduce the minimum skill requirement for the shops to be used for a good portion of time (a minimum of 2 seasons at least). I had quality standards, until some ambushes later.

It kinda hindered parts of my production of my ship. but at least my dwarves got focused on the project more, in a way; but still... :facepalm:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Adamantine Fist on July 22, 2009, 09:34:36 pm
Quote from: AncientEnemy on April 20, 2009, 09:18:57 pm
discovering the d->b menu.

oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones
I just had a facepalm moment. I didn't know you could mass dump stones. >.<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: skaltum on July 23, 2009, 05:12:04 am
realising that i could forbid the claiming of dead bodies and dead dwarves and there stuff for when they die using r-o-F. we all know the pain of dwaves goin mental and getting slaughtered for a -silk sock-.


EDIT: i meant o-F  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lordcooper on July 23, 2009, 11:14:58 am
No less than 5 minutes ago, I let the orcs in.
10 wrestlers and an axelord.

73 of 74 dwarves died.

The sole survivor is an immigrant Soapmaker / Dabbling Wrestler.

Still, I shall not abandon!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shrike on July 23, 2009, 11:24:23 am
After designing many a fort in vanilla mods, I've finally jumped to the 'Dig Deeper' mod with orcs.

I modded the orcs for triggers at 3, to give myself some time to build up, found a site with magma and a mountain (and non-potable aquifers, more good times).

And found this strange light blue metal exposed from the very start, way up near the top of this peak.

*Facepalm*

The king arrived in the second year. And went insane from losing a friend to an aquifer sealing incident and not having nice enough things.
*Facepalm*
Then, the orcs brought their first siege.
*Facepalm*
Just after the king went crazy, a gem cutter went fey, and made an artifact throne that would have made King Urist McBonkers happy.
*Facepalm*
And then, the king died one step away from his coffin.
*Sorta-amusing Facepalm*
And then the orcs sieged again and demonstrated that my walls weren't entirely finished.
*Bloody Facepalm*

Well, with my population cap set low and my walls complete, I can at least outlast the sieges until that lovely light blue metal has an armorer worthy of using it.

Gotta say: I'm definitely NOT bored with this fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: skaltum on July 23, 2009, 11:32:51 am
put up a map kiddo well of the after mathanyways
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bluerobin on July 23, 2009, 11:42:09 am
Quote from: lordcooper on July 23, 2009, 11:14:58 am
Still, I shall not abandon!

YES!  I had a similar facepalm moment a while ago when a goblin siege got into a fortress (through a hole I somehow didn't know about) a while ago and killed everyone except for a child (who was knocked unconscious) before they just left.  Yeah... he was really emotionally scarred, but a wave of migrants showed up shortly afterwards and got things going again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: buzz killington on July 23, 2009, 01:17:45 pm
Spending a lot of time finding a great embark site, only to realize I used reveal on it without backing it up because I got so mechanical in just wading through find sites.
Title: -
Post by: redacted123 on July 23, 2009, 01:49:57 pm
-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dohon on July 25, 2009, 10:22:38 am
After messing about with some graphic sets and modding in the Orcs, I genned a new world and went hunting! At first, I wanted to give the new Dig Deeper version a go, but I still think I need some more training. Anyway. Found a nice 4 by 4 with HFS, trees, some flux and a river. I struck the earth and started digging like mad. Got some farms up and beer up, carved out a training room (stocked with 8 pumps) and started to carve out my "forge floor". No magma on the map, so I knew I needed the charcoal. My fortress reaches 50 dwarves and things are looking up. The recruits are training (their stats first, weapons once they are almost legendary pump operators) and I got my gate secured using 5 floodgates linked to a lever.

I had some problems with snatchers and thieves (meaning,they ran off faster than my recruits could wrestle and rip them apart), but then AMBUSH appeared. 8 goblins, only one of them armed with a hammer. They start chasing around my woodcutter and so, I decided: let's go rip them up! I select a squad of 4 and move them near the gate. Another squad was resting a few levels down, so the first squad would have to stall them. I felt victory was near, considering that in earlier ambushes (in different games), one armed dwarf (not even champion) would make mincemeat out of goblin wrestlers. I was sure that almost-legendary pump operators (with almost legendary stats) could cope with a few "gobbos".

The reverse happend. 2 Goblins came in and my 4-dwarf-team set upon them like a pack of rabid dogs. But I saw them go down, one by one. Arms were ripped off, one head come loose, blood everywhere. Not one gobbo went down. And then their buddies came along. You can guess what happend to my second squad.

I was screwed. I had no weapons to speak off (felt a bit too secure), so I did what every dwarf would do. 42 Dwarves formed up near the main acces shaft, yet I felt a bit ... unsure. That hammergoblin had killed that second squad all on his own. But as those wretched goblins came down, they were overwhelmed by numbers. It was bloody, it was carnage, ... It was GLORIOUS!

Butchersbill:

15 dwarves killed (including a legendary mason and carpenter. My Gem Setter keeps tantruming, but he always calms down without a fault. One child is going to die too, since I don't have leather in my stocks)

7 goblins (the hammergoblin got away)

This teached me some humility, but the real facepalm moment came when I found a small stockpile in the corner of my fortress. It said weapon storage. It had one steel hammer, an iron sword, and two bismuth bronze maces in it. All this time, I thought I didn't have weapons. Even in the hands of inexperienced recruits, it would have prevented the loss of so much Dwarfs. Now I gotta bury them all. Correction: my "Doctor" Dwarf has to bury them all. He has lost about 5 friends. Poor Dwarf.

(fun fact: my fisherdwarf [a mentally unstable one according to his profile] went into a martial trance and managed to break a few limbs before he was swarmed and wrestled to death. The Captain of the Guard tantrumed and started punching a few donkeys and my trader. This caused my Gem Setter to tantrum and run around, foaming at the mouth. When I looked at the Justice screen, my Captain has his crimes recorded, but he won't punish himself. Punching himself to dead is kinda ... hardcore, even for a dwarf.)

EDIT: This fort must be a bit cursed. Before the Goblin Ambush, my Stonecrafter-to-be got possessed, but he wanted gems and cloth ... which I did not have. He went berserk, but my woodcutter was near. So, a quick draft and problem solved, right? Nope. The berserker took my woodcutter head on and whooped her. The crafter was injured though and he bled to death, right in front of my squad of recruits (yes, the same squad that got butchered by a hammergoblin not too long after).

EDIT 2: My gem setter keeps tantruming and calming down. My mayor (my brewer) went insane however and is now running around, babbling and naked. I guess she too went insane after listening to my Gem Setter for the umptheenth time. The child went nuts too by the way. Better go dig a few more graves.

FINAL EDIT: Well, tantrum galore! Everyone was unhappy, but shit hit the fan when a child went berserk and MURDERED my legendary miner! Everyone started slugging it out and instead of abandoning, I did my last and final act. I opened the gate to the Orcs. First time I met those in quite some time and they cleaned up the place real quick. God, I'm loving this game. Gonna try a reclaim expedition later this evening.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewoTigra on August 16, 2009, 09:23:16 pm
FacePalm moment = just there now

was updating to the latest version and accidentally erased all my mods + reset init file.
Init file then proceeded to either crash DF or load it up in a (roughly)150x300 window. Fixed now, but still 3 hours of modding or so to redo >.<

EDIT: 2 and a half actually, and I took the opportunity to mod in a few other things I had lying around.

Another thing I remember giving myself mild concussion about was the mass hide / dump / forbid / melt menus. Nearly cracked the desk my head hit it so hard :P

Also, story above me = EPIC WIN.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: elwessweettea on August 17, 2009, 02:15:24 am
"Your strength has been broken" OH DRAT SOMEBODY MUST HAVE CUT DOWN ONE OF THE TREES IN MY PERIMETER WALL!!!!!

(Context: fort started in 116, dwarves named after good reallife friends, never had any deaths, never set foot outside the perimeter wall built in 116, never had any trade caravans from any civ, no immigrants [civilization died , every gem and ore was mined out, 28 dwarves, 2800+ meals, every non-child was legendary, and it was late winter of 135 -- the fort was just under 20 years old. Grrr.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neruz on August 17, 2009, 02:24:46 am
I just cut into what was apparantly a pressurised magma pipe.

Yeah.


After further investigation i worked out that the top layer of the pipe was obsidian, presumably turned into obsidian by the glacier on top of it, but that obsidian layer is still considered a 'part' of the pipe, so when i channeled down into the top of the pipe it went "o the pipe is empty" and spawned some magma to fill it up.

Right on top of my miners.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hellcar on August 17, 2009, 04:09:24 am
The one time I relied on forbidden doors isntead of retracting bridges to set the flow of enemies, I forgot dragons could destroy buildings and it made a bee-line into my farming and crafting area.
I hadn't even bothered to setup the military floor yet.

Quote from: elwessweettea on August 17, 2009, 02:15:24 am
"Your strength has been broken" OH DRAT SOMEBODY MUST HAVE CUT DOWN ONE OF THE TREES IN MY PERIMETER WALL!!!!!
A tree was preventig your entire fortress caveing in on itself?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Winterbrass on August 17, 2009, 05:24:13 am
Mass dumping, mouse control of certain things such as designation, and this:

Quote from: Lymojo on May 24, 2009, 12:49:16 pm
Just had a new one recently.

Did not realize you could easily drain water off the map by carving fortifications into an edge tile.

Was reading the thread from the start, and this was my first (and only) facepalm from the thread.

Here's my contribution.

I accidentally flooded a room that I had not intended to flood (at the time) and managed to seal it off with windows before it got to the whole fortress, because the underground river was on the same z-level as my highest fort level (something like +16 in a mountain range with cliffs 20+ z-levels tall).

In any case, I built a huge above-ground water reservoir, glass walls and glass floor - literally taking up a good 80x80 space and about fifteen z-levels tall - and then released the water from the room through a tunnel I had dug especially for the purpose. The water flowed happily along its way, got to the edge of the mountain, and then promptly froze. In the middle of summer. *facepalm*

This was on my most recent fort, less than 20 years old, that had 375+ dorfs (raised the cap in the init to 1M with 10k baby limit), 119 babies/children, and over 100 dorfs legendary in all non-noble social skills. That fucked with the economy something fierce, let me tell you.

However, I never had a tantrum - the dwarves were either ecstatic, beating their kids' faces in due to berserk, or jumping off my drawbridge into the magma pipe.

Oh, this fort also experienced a decent catsplosion, and is using the currently Mayday download which seems to be pre-d14... and runs at 9-20 FPS on my machine.

Did I mention that the ten beds in this fortress are in the barracks?

I have saves to back this up if there are any doubters.

Some good ol' Dwarven fun there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on August 17, 2009, 06:09:09 am
Man, what's your FPS on that map?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Winterbrass on August 17, 2009, 06:19:14 am
Quote from: smjjames on August 17, 2009, 06:09:09 am
Man, what's your FPS on that map?
9-20, as was stated in the post? ;)

EDIT: Depends on whether I'm trading or not - the dwarves knock each other prone and crawl all over each other like a massive, writhing zombie horde attempting to get to my looms when the traders come by (I like exchanging silk for wagons and wagons full of wood on my treeless map - hate cultivating towercaps something fierce). If I'm trading, somewhere in the high single-digits. All other times, somewhere around 20.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on August 17, 2009, 06:22:09 am
I guess I didn't see that when you said it earlier.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Winterbrass on August 17, 2009, 06:27:19 am
Quote from: smjjames on August 17, 2009, 06:22:09 am
I guess I didn't see that when you said it earlier.

Yeah, the condensed 'holy carp' factor of that fortress is kinda mind-blowing. It's far less impressive when seen on-screen, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neruz on August 17, 2009, 07:31:57 am
Just ran into Adamantine while digging my magma pipes.

GODDAMNIT. Now i have to carve out a throne room.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Winterbrass on August 17, 2009, 07:53:38 am
Quote from: Neruz on August 17, 2009, 07:31:57 am
Just ran into Adamantine while digging my magma pipes.

GODDAMNIT. Now i have to carve out a throne room.
Yeah, adamantine King kinda sucks if you want the entourage.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neruz on August 17, 2009, 08:09:35 am
He just sucks period, he invariably arrives before you're ready for him and is generally annoying.

Queen showed up, she's Ultra-Mighty, Extremely Agile and Tough, she's also skilled in all social skills, a Great Tracker, a skilled Macedwarf, Competant Shield, Armor and Wrestler, and, for some strange reason, a novice fisherdwarf, fish dissector and fish cleaner.

So reasomably awesome, i guess it's not too bad, i got the mason to turn the adamantine i found into statues and furniture to make royal rooms, so eh.



--EDIT--

Oh hey, there's a named magma fiend right in front of her. This could be interesting.


She totally ripped it's head off, i like her now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on August 17, 2009, 09:39:58 am
Well um, to be on topic.

In my attempt to make the thousands of cave spider webs burn off, I tried to make the silk catch fire, however, what I had NOT realized was that everything MADE of the silk would catch fire. Luckily I had it on pause and when I was looking around, I saw more than the webs bieng on fire, including the dwarves. Realizing that was a major facepalm right there. I quickly saved and quit, hoping that nobody was badly injured, changed it to boil at room temperature (same as what I made it burst into flames at, 10,000 dwarf scale temp), and then reloaded, I saw that the dwarves had magically stopped bieng on fire instantly. I don't know whether it was the fact that I made it burst into flames at a lower temperature or because it was so brief that it was more like bursting into light rather than flame, but there was not a single injury. At least none that forced anybody to rest.

I had also accidentially triggered a wildfire, one part of which was centered on a goblin or goblin corpse (corpse I think as it was smack in the middle of a ring of fire). The wildfire only killed a couple of replaceable ambush detector animals I had near the entrance and nobody got caught on fire. Part of the reason was that there was actually a rocky perimeter around the mountain which I was in, which created safe paths, not to mention that the dwarves actually seemed to be trying to avoid the fire, sometimes.

As an aside, on the same fortress, I made some rocks boil away when trying to fix FPS lag, but I had set it to boil at 1000 degrees (dwarf scale). Despite me making the dwarves move to a safer area, a few dwarves froze to death and one had severe frostbite on his whole upper body, as if the stuff had exploded upwards. I had apparently made it act like liquid nitrogen or something.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neruz on August 17, 2009, 10:04:55 am
I think the reason for the 'boiling freeze' is because boiling objects are set to the temperature that they boil at; boiling objects can't get any hotter than the temperature at which they boil, so they cauze stuff to freeze if their boiling temperature is too low.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ieb on August 17, 2009, 10:17:33 am
Once there was a mighty fort of 140 kobolds, that had stood against sieges and raids of humans, forces of Armok, orcs and pretty much everything alive.

What brought it down was not an attacking army, but fire. Always with the fire.

It all started when a bunch of Sorcerers sprung from ambush. While they were quickly dealt with(with the cost of a Champion who got a fireball to the face and died instantly), there was an obvious problem, threat even, when one of the fireballs the sorceror's had thrown caused a fire. In a major plain. It was sort of a problem. I order everyone inside, and all is well.

That is, all is well until I see an announcement about a miner bleeding to death. I check what's up, and already knew there was trouble abound when I saw smoke rise from the stairway leading to my underground food storage.

It seems that during the brief time between ordering everyone inside, the guy had tried to grab something which was already on fire, left it there, but ran back in the fort, on fire of course, and decided to have a snack. My food was burning everywhere by the time I noticed.

Now, I had two option's. First, do some major ordering and have the food moved somewhere safe, or wait it out. I decided to wait it out, I mean, I had a Dungeon Master who's only job had been smelting metals and making nickel bin's. The wooden barrels and the food in them might burn, but the food in the metal barrels would be safe, right?

A few months later, I had over 12 dead kobolds who had been moving burning food from barrel A to barrel B(I think. Too much smoke to see what they were storing when they kept on running there), and a magnificent tantrum spiral began. The duke went insane, our legendary sheriff decided to strip naked and jumped down the suicide pit(which soon saw a lot of use) and generally, everyone was unhappy. And the food stockpile was COMPLETELY empty.

I don't know what happened, unless heat can ruin foodstuffs inside metal barrels. That or they kept on moving the food from the metal barrels inside wooden ones, or something as stupid. Or maybe all those metal barrels were full of something else than food(I doubt it, although I didn't check it out too much).

Then a Chosen Warrior siege came. I decided "eh, time to end playing this fort then" and allowed them entry. Twenty or so kobolds died from their attack, but their beak dog riding troops were soon beaten back(but not without casualties) when the military swooped in.

At that point, I had about 65 kobolds left. 90% of them resting, and two military people still able to fight. The rest of my force was either in bed about a broken toe or something as stupid, or insane, or dead from suicide.

And there was a squad of Chosen Warrior's still left.

So I did the only thing possible. I sent the two Champions in a suicide run, back to back, against about fifteen Chosen Warrior's and equal number of beak dogs.

Somehow though they managed to kill enough of them to break the siege, and get through the ordeal unscathed. I immediately abandoned the site, so at least history would have a bunch of very unhappy, very injured kobolds to tell the story of Llorgus.

http://img197.imageshack.us/img197/266/mahkubomons.png (http://img197.imageshack.us/img197/266/mahkubomons.png)
Link related, it's the fort during the good days.

The facepalm of this story is that if there is a fire, be sure to check that none of your guys is carrying it inside the fort. Only tragedy can follow.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on August 17, 2009, 10:40:05 am
Quote from: Neruz on August 17, 2009, 10:04:55 am
I think the reason for the 'boiling freeze' is because boiling objects are set to the temperature that they boil at; boiling objects can't get any hotter than the temperature at which they boil, so they cauze stuff to freeze if their boiling temperature is too low.

Well, liquid nitrogen 'boils' at room temperature. Not so much boil than go straight from liquid to gas. Doing what I did is probably like dropping a chunk of frozen nitrogen or some other gas in a frozen state, into a room temperature environment, some of the stuff coming off of it would still be extremely cold. So, it makes sense to me. It was more of a 'wow cool' surprise than a 'I didn't know that surprise'. Actually I didn't know that could happen as I hadn't messed with boiling points where the dwarves might get hurt very much. There are going to be more on solid, liquid and gas states in the new revamp, so maybe someone could make the equivalent of liquid nitrogen. Even though the technology isn't there.

As for that fortress, I decided to abandon it when I kept having FPS problems and do a new worldgen and a new fort. Having a huge spacious storage room and making my mining tunnels simply sprout out from the walls was probably a bad idea FPS wise. I'm planning on making the storage warehouse area compartmentalized using constructed walls.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewoTigra on August 17, 2009, 01:29:56 pm
Remembered another incident.
I decided I needed an underwater fort, so I embarked next to an ocean.
Sometime along this endeavor I had a great idea. to see how building in the ocean works I decided to test it by tapping into the bottom ocean level. just to see what would happen.

As it turns out the pressure in the ocean is so high it instantly floods wherever you tap into from.
Luckily the test area was sealed off by a door. Pity the miner was also a legendary armor+weaponsmith.
*facepalm*
Beforehand I modded sharks + whales to be building destroyers. A shark appeared on the map. It immediately made a beeline for the door. You know, the one stopping the rest of the fort from flooding.
"Urist McDwarf has drowned x42"
*Facepalm*
a single dwarf and his pet kitten survived. Unfortunately all the farms + food stores were now underwater. He had to eat the kitten to survive, which promptly sent him melancholy, so he went for a swim. In shark infested waters.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neyvn on August 31, 2009, 08:08:05 pm
It seemed like a good Idea to drop water over a Pipe to make it into Obsidian when its open to flat ground, this way making sure the water can cover all exposed magma....

It a bad idea to think that you can start in the middle...
Can't stop the motion fast enough, too many Cave-in reports!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kietharr on August 31, 2009, 08:34:10 pm
Digging channels for a surface magma industry in a marsh, forgot that I'd been building bedrooms and workshops around the pipe a level down... Needless to say the magma got to my up/down staircase and destroyed the enitre fort including almost all of my stocks. Right after this happened a fireman jumped out of the magma pipe and fought one of my miners to the death. The miner killed it but still set a world burning fire. One dwarf survived because he was chopping trees on the other side of a brook. Surprisingly he was ok with everyone dieing horribly and I actually had a great time playing a solo hermit game with him. Was tough going but I set up a well, gathered seeds and cooked them into biscuts for food, and built an aboveground house out of wood (on the other side of the brook of course).

Recently, I decided to build a greenhouse in a haunted mountainside jungle area I just started on because I had a ton of outdoor plant seeds. Channeled around then realized that it was too close to the edge of the map for complete walls. Whatever though, I had 2 thick 2 deep channels surrounding it, what could go wrong?

"Plant seeds canceled: interrupted by skeletal giant eagle"
"Urist McFarmerdwarf has been struck down"

/facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Taco Dan on September 01, 2009, 05:25:54 pm
Channeling to get some river water to a pump so it could be desalinized and only when the channel was done did i realize that it went through the top of my fortress, flooding it with river water.

/facepalm

"Wall off that room!"
Urist Mcmason cancels build wall: building site submerged!
"AH! too late!"
Urist McBaby has drowned
"OK, it's not too late to savescum."
Spring has arrived.
Saving...
"ARGH! DAMN YOU AUTOSAAAAAAAAVE!"

/FACEPALM
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Arrkhal on September 01, 2009, 08:38:02 pm
Mine is definitely realizing, about a week into playing, that "hist fig" stands for "historical figure."  Up until then, I had been thinking it was some kind of fruit (and that it was a damn bizarre thing to track during worldgen; who cares about fruit?).  Like, the Hist Trees in The Elder Scrolls series, and their fruits were called figs for some reason.

Another newbie mistake I made way back when, was not understanding the difference between a refuse pile and a garbage dump, and wondering why items designated for dumping were totally ignored instead of dragged to the refuse pile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chewykittens on September 01, 2009, 08:41:47 pm
My facepalm moment was a fire imp burning the forest, with my food stock pile still outside.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AxisofLint on September 03, 2009, 07:18:25 am
Finding DF months ago, and wondering why my bookkeeper would never become more accurate until I found the detail settings.. this morning.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on September 03, 2009, 01:14:27 pm
Not a major facepalm, but more like an 'oh shit!!' and then 'damn that was too close!' kind of facepalm.

Okay, basically I had lost my mechanics some seasons ago due to an ambush and had forgotten to assign some new ones when a siege came. I checked my entrance and realized that I had forgotten about that as about half of my stone fall traps were not loaded and quickly set up everybody (using Dwarf Manager) as mechanics to rush and get some of them loaded. I had gotten some of them loaded but the siege pushed their way through to the end. Granted many of them were killed, but when a few of them got through, I enlisted everybody and I had somehow managed to repel them before they got far.

I don't know if any of my dwarves killed any goblins (there were a few POW elves there as well), but a few of them sacrificed their lives to try and push back the invaders. My guess is that a few more goblins walked into the few remaining stone traps which weren't triggered and had reached the 'end siege' threshold.

For a moment there I seriously thought that they were going to get through and overrun my fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Taffy Foxbat on September 03, 2009, 03:19:37 pm
Selected Titan cage for trade. Forgot that they have to open the cage to move it to the depot. Titan dealt with, only about 10 dead, but now I'm in tantrum spiral mode...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Realmfighter on September 04, 2009, 02:44:55 am
when i found out that i needed to extract the DF folder to save the game.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Killas[SiN] on September 05, 2009, 02:24:06 am
I spent a total of  17 hours making the most awesome fortress ever.

I carved a steep trail up a mountain with sheer crazy z-level cliffs with over 30 ballista and 3 z-levels high walls and fortifications. It was surrounded by a moat of water encircled by a huge trench of lava.
It was so damn cool.

It took me over half the time to make the water-lava moats. It included pumping the water up a brook around 10 z levels. Same with the magma.

Then, because I wanted to make a bigger bridge, I channeled ONE block. It turns out that the dwarf orginally designated to place a grate in the z level underneath the designated channel STOPPED 1 TILE AWAY FROM THE INSTALLATION SPOT AND TURNED AROUND AND WENT TO CHANNEL AWAY THE ONLY BARRIER STOPPING THE LAVA
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ikkonoishi on September 06, 2009, 07:09:09 am
I completely channeled out the first layer and paved over a forested map with constructed stone blocks on the version just before Toady added the multi-designate constructions feature.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Typoman on September 06, 2009, 08:49:38 am
hmm biggest one would be when i wasn't paying attention to channeling (well more i failed to realise the pattern i had designated would result in a cave in) (this was before i found out the efficiency of ramps) anyway i had dug a 10 or so z level pit with channels from the bottom up... yeah i kinda dumped 5 legendary miners and their pets down 10 z levels in a cave in... this was also before i found out about quantum cages so every dwarf had about 4 animals tagging along, my fps was shot to hell.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on September 07, 2009, 03:34:23 am
Losing a dwarf to magma he's pumping.

And again. And again. And again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: denito on September 07, 2009, 12:28:37 pm
I know you don't have to have a stone stockpile, but I hate having stones littering the floors.  Spent 3 (game) years wasting manpower hauling stones up and out to a giant outdoor stone stockpile, because I could never get the dwarves to (d)ump them, only to realize it was because I didn't understand the difference between piles and zones.  I was trying to (d)ump to a refuse pile (p)->(r) when I should have designated a garbage dump zone (i)->(g).  And the worst part of it?  My fortress spans a small chasm, so I could have dumped stones off the side from any Z level.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on September 07, 2009, 01:52:04 pm
Just had a small one with my first attempt at constructing a multilevel stack of pumps powered by waterwheels: I was checking the "power needed" on one of the pumps, and it read "150". Each waterwheel produces, what, 200 power? I was pissed: I'm gonna have to build a separate wheel for every single pump!? Then thanks to the Wiki I finally, mercifully, realized that the "150" was the power needed for the entire stack, pumps and gears and all. Duhh...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on September 18, 2009, 07:25:38 pm
Embark profiles, when used, take you to the embark modification screen always, not just when they fail to get this or that bit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ieb on September 19, 2009, 01:55:35 pm
So I started a fort a while back after the last two got wrecked(one accidentally drowned, the other found out that a bunch of competent weapondorfs are not really up to fighting Chosen Warriors, even when they're lashers. Who knew that their whips could remove limbs?).

Seems to be going well so far, not any really good moods, first produced a legendary bonecrafter, after that it's been two possessions).

I was sort of curious of the mountain on the other side of the map with all the spiderwebs on it's sides, so I sent a miner to check it out. And sure, there's a bottomless pit there. Full of spider webs. Cloth business, here I come!

Oh wait, it's full of troglodytes, spidermen and even a giant cave swallow. But I have a bunch of champions who have been training far too long. Time to have some real fighting!

A while later, it's Spring. The pit is full of corpses, limbs and no dwarf suffered, except that one woodcutter who had to go Rambo on a dozen trog's.

So the merchants arrive, and suddenly, I get the announcement that my deer bone samurai helm has been stolen by a thief.

Damn it.

Somehow the kobold managed to get past all the champions running up and down my T-hallways, to the shops, and grabbed the closest thing of value.

The odd thing is though that the guy who made the helm doesn't seem to mind.

Might be because it was a possession. I should try this out with a fey dwarf losing an artifact to the 'bolds.

But really, that's one crafty kobold.
He better become the Kobold King for this.
That helm was worth 65k, dammit!

Oh god I'm gonna get some kobold death squads in my map because of this, aren't I?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The_Fool76 on September 19, 2009, 07:04:11 pm
Released a hapless axe dwarf who had somehow gotten himself trapped in a cage trap during the last goblin siege, only to discover that said dwarf was actually the leader of the goblin siege.  Even better, I had chosen the dining hall as the place to release him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Syzgyn on September 20, 2009, 02:33:07 am
After reading through this whole thread, I had to register to post my most recent one.

After wondering for over a year why none of my haulers were moving bars out of my smelters, I finally realise the massive stockpile I designated is completely covered in hidden stone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rat Of Wisdom on September 20, 2009, 05:43:23 am
Allow me to present my first REAL self-induced facepalm during the course of my current fortress as a dramatic monologue.

"A siege! Oh dear. Better tell everyone to get indoors except my two champion wrestlers."

*clickety-click*

"What?! A worthless soap maker and his child are wandering outside! On a bloody stroll while the vile force of darkness descends upon them. Morons."

*clickety-click*

"Oh, according to the relationships screen all they have is passing acquaintances. I won't risk too many tantrums if the goblins get them- and pay for their idiocy they should."

Urist McStupid, Child has been struck down.

"Serves you right, dipshit. The question, however, remains: why!?"

*clickety-click*

"Forums... meeting area above wagon... no such thing."

*click*

"Oh goddamn it. Defining a communal dining hall is wonderful but it does require remembering to designate it a meeting area."

*facepalm*

(Beat off the siege- my first- in the end. Caged a single gobbo to accompany the fifteen snatchers and ambushers I'd already caught, each wrestler ended up wasting six more, and the three or four that were left alive and not immediately within striking distance I decided to allow to escape to carry tales of terror back to their insignificant little tower.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Myroc on September 20, 2009, 10:21:01 am
I always forget that Fire Imps live in magma pipes.

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on September 20, 2009, 04:27:53 pm
My bonecarvers were being a bit slow on the goblin bone ammo production, and my marksdwarves needed training ASAP, so I bought a bunch of wooden arrows from the elves.



Later: "Oh, that's right, dwarves don't use arrows."

*z -> stocks -> ammunition -> highwood arrows -> dump*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Karnewarrior on September 20, 2009, 05:41:44 pm
I just got my first seige ever. I already had a drawbridge and a gatehouse (with fortifications for windows. woot.). This made me want to

PULL ZE LEVER!

the gobbo army stoped and regrouped. a couple minutes went by before I figuered out why they weren't moving. duh.

PULL ZE LEVER!

they got closer. thinking my dwarves would attack them thru the gatehouse, (they had been there forever,) I shouted again

PULL ZE FREAKING LEVER!

cue stop and regroup.

PULL ZE LEVER! (again..)

this went on for at least 15 minutes before I decided to just send my macedorfs out to get them.

they were slaughtered.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: slink on September 21, 2009, 08:38:33 pm
I have just recovered from one of these moments.

I have an embark site which I fell in love with the moment I saw where the Dwarves landed.  It is in the world of The Future Realms, on the shore of the Shriveled Ocean of Sucking.  The 6x6 is about 2/3 ocean, and frozen.  There is a magma pipe open to the surface.  There are no trees or other vegetation.  There is an aquifer.  I was uncertain how I felt about it until I embarked, and my Dwarves landed on the very edge of the beach, just on the dry side of the waterline.  Of course, as soon as I un-paused the game, the surf washed over them.  It was as if they had been shipwrecked, and floated ashore with nothing but this one miserable wagon loaded with booze, plump helmets and their spawn, turtles, one rope, two picks, one axe, two cats, two dogs, and two draft beasts of dis-similar species.

The first two levels of this site are sand and loam with very, very few basalt inclusions over near the ocean.  I mined those for the three vital workshops and a few critical pieces of furniture.  There was nothing left over for making mechanisms for trade, so when the Autumn caravan arrived, I had to trade home-grown plump helmets for a few sticks of tower-cap and a couple of spare barrels.  The plump helmets were being stored without barrels so that I could reserve the barrels for booze.

The next two levels of this site are aquifer.  We tunnelled through dirt to the obsidian border of the magma pipe, and dug down three levels.  I noticed that they encountered damp stone, so I had them dig one more level.  Now stone was available in ample supply and the future looked bright, if a bit heavy on plump helmets and Dwarven wine.  We actually got migrants in mid-winter - 19 of them all at once!   :o

Stone was being dragged to the workshops in great piles.  We had found bauxite, and that was already safely stored and forbidden.  We had obsidian, basalt, mudstone, and a few other miscellaneous types, as well as a number of gems.

It was a little crowded on the stair landing on the first rock level under the aquifer with all those Dwarves hauling stone from the layer below, and I thought to myself that it was just damp stone, right?  Like under a pond?  So I told them to dig out another 5 squares ...

ARGH....

I abandoned the fortress, deleted the region, and started the world over again so I could have that site without my mess.   ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neyvn on September 22, 2009, 07:27:05 am
This is my Face Palm moment, it is not one of accident or death. Just pure and simple Palm to the Face....
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

I am currently play a comp fortress for the Dwarf Masters. I is situated at a Terrifying Saltwater Swamp, with a magma pipe in the middle with a two layer Aquifer, all was going well(ish), with the annoyance of being unable to work out how to make a separated area for Sand (second layer of the aquifer) away from my main project, I was doing it in another Save elsewhere so that I could work it out without ruining my fort, good thing I did cause I lost half the Fort by those mistakes...

But this is not the Face Palm, I knew I didn't have those skills yet, passing an Aquifer is still new to me, let alone 2 layer and attempting to give myself enough space for Sand Collection at the same time, my Face palm came after the forth year had passed. An achievement in its own accord seeing as most forts of mine only last for a 2 or 3 years before I get bored...

I had put my aquifer passing attempts behind to build my mega project, and was progressing smoothly, having little to no defense yet I had a hallway of dogs and cage traps to my entrance, a few goblin ambushes and only recently a Siege, all pretty much walking into cages...

When all of a sudden...
The Titan _______ Has Come!!!

I Panicked, still on pause that happens at its arrival, my heart started to beat wildly, I didn't want to start again, and the few champions I had were poorly equipped due to the Aquifer. This was my first mega Beast, EVER, and I had no idea what was about to happen. I hit the space bar and like you might have guessed already the Titan ran straight at my fort's entrance and straight into a trap...

God I felt like such a fool, granted I had something to actually worry about due to there being another entrance (Which I thought the Titan would take) but still none the less... -Facepalm for my stupidity-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Siru on September 22, 2009, 09:05:13 am
Well my current fort (Mirrorcouncils) has been my most successful fort ever. But due to it's success I have learnt many things which have been doing wrong in all my other forts and be subsequently shocked how simple it seems in hindsight.

-Building a functional well.
-"Hey you mean by pressing 'z' I can actually choose what kind of cabinet goes in the noble's room?"
-MASS DUMPING/CLAIMING/ETC.
-Windmill powered mills
-Creating a military that is actually effective?
-After beating up those goblins and goblin wrestlers in a seige, actually check that the seige title has gone before mass claiming and running into the Spearmaster-lead squad of crossbow marksgoblins coming from the other side of the map. (The dwarves won in the end although there was one very unhappy girl who lost her military mother and baby brother in the attack and her father who went berserk afterwards.)
-Check the wounded for ({iron bolt})s.
-Traffic designations did not do what I initially thought they did.

Also I've learnt that next time I'll have to build housing differently if I hit the economy again, how to pump and actually build a well sooner than 5 years in. Also build a military which is based on more than Champion Wrestlers and War Dogs (Don't get me wrong they have been very effective but I worry about attacks in the future because it's been quiet for awhile.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Craftling on September 22, 2009, 10:53:16 pm
Quote from: Siru on September 22, 2009, 09:05:13 am
"Hey you mean by pressing 'z' I can actually choose what kind of cabinet goes in the noble's room?"
OMG!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Dakoth on September 22, 2009, 11:37:34 pm
Another good facepalm moment... Mayor mandates the production of green glass on a map with no sand.

I thought, "Oh, whatever. Some random glassmaker will get punished for it."

Right after the mandate ended, I checked the criminals screen. Some random peasant was listed. I thought, "That's funny. All these immigrants, and no glassmaker." I shrugged it off, until I looked at said peasant's profile.

She happened to be the daughter of one of my champions, and friends with most of the fort. She gets beaten by one of my guards (no hammerer yet) and promptly bleeds to death.

Then, the good ol' tantrum spiral begins. Her mother (who was, by the way, a Legendary Hammerdwarf) would've gotten by just fine.

But of course, there were one or two peasants who didn't take it so well. One of them went berserk and was shot by a nearby guard. This merely accelerated the tantrum spiral, which resulted in my Mayor getting a Copper pick driven through his head.

A few months and two dozen coffins later, I had cleaned up almost the entire mess, and most of the dwarves had calmed down. Just one berserk dwarf left and a few melancholy ones. However, aforementioned berserk dwarf happened to be by a lever. This lever was linked to a forest of upright spike traps that I had rigged in my main hallway to deal with orc invaders.

He makes a beeline for the lever, 10+ random corpse haulers are instantly turned into Dwarven shish-kabobs.

Re-enter the tantrum spiral. And a siege of Orcs that must've laughed their asses off.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: orbcontrolled on September 23, 2009, 09:38:55 am
Quote from: Untelligent on September 20, 2009, 04:27:53 pm
"Oh, that's right, dwarves don't use arrows."

*z -> stocks -> ammunition -> highwood arrows -> dump*

What!? NO!
Why didn't I read this page 2 hours ago? It was sitting right here in my browser as I was trading.

Sigh...

*z -> stocks -> ammunition -> highwood arrows -> dump*
*z -> stocks -> ammunition -> Saguaro arrows -> dump*
*z -> stocks -> ammunition -> Pine arrows -> dump*
*z -> stocks -> ammunition -> Cedar arrows -> dump*
*z -> stocks -> ammunition -> Maple arrows -> dump*
*z -> stocks -> ammunition -> Willow arrows -> dump*
*z -> stocks -> ammunition -> Larch arrows -> dump*
*z -> stocks -> ammunition -> Chestnut arrows -> dump*
*z -> stocks -> ammunition -> Ashen arrows -> dump*
Damn elves get more worthless every year


My own facepalm moment:
*Digging designation canceled, damp stone detected*
"Damp stone? What nonsense is this? we are many levels below the earth, and there isn't a river or pool around for miles. How could there be water amidst a layer of solid rock?"
"I suppose I should hardly be surprised, this game is, after all, still an alpha, and one must expect the occasional glitch here and there mustn't one?"
"Keep digging you foolish dwarves, there is no danger here, your feeble minds are playing tricks on you! Power ahead!"
...
"Dangerous terrain? What are they talking about, I see no danger. Why are they running away from the tunnel? Why does this rock wall have them so spooked?"
*Loo[k] Loo[k] Loo[k]*
*Water 5/7*

Turns out there are these things called aquifers underground, they can be penetrated by mining *under* them, and rubble from mining will obscure everything else on a tile, including water.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on September 23, 2009, 01:34:34 pm
alright, I'd like to invoke a facepalm moment now that you've dumpped those arrows.

They can be loaded into bows for weapons traps, pretty much exactly the same as crossbow traps, but with their own ammo reserve.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DeathOfRats on September 23, 2009, 02:12:26 pm
Quote from: Time Kitten on September 23, 2009, 01:34:34 pm
alright, I'd like to invoke a facepalm moment now that you've dumpped those arrows.

They can be loaded into bows for weapons traps, pretty much exactly the same as crossbow traps, but with their own ammo reserve.

You, sir, have impeccably evil timing :D :D :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on September 23, 2009, 05:40:06 pm
I was fully aware of that, but I'd rather put the welfare of my fortress in the hands of my platoon of champions than something I rely on the elves for.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: XSI on September 23, 2009, 05:56:38 pm
That's why the elves and bow weapon traps are backups, never rely on traps alone.

Which leads to my facepalm moment.

A megabeast arrived, a dragon with no injuries and 100 or so kills, I remember how my entrance looked, 3 solid rows of cage traps and a single line of stonefalls behind it.
No problem, all dwarves inside and wait for it to be caged, mainwhile I go back to pitting goblins into an arena, and watching the carnage.

Urist mcsoapmaker cancelled eat, interrupted by dragon
Urist mcpeasant cancelled eat, interrupted by dragon
Urist mchammerer cancelled eat, resting injury
Urist mcmilker cancelled eat, interrupted by dragon
And so on. Turns out, the cage traps were used, and not reloaded yet because of a goblin siege, and I did not have spare cages. In the end, I managed to somehow lock the dragon in a part of the fort which I could quarantine by use of bridges with the floor channelled under it, and it stayed there, content with eating the nobles since it just happened to be the noble rooms.

..Refill your cage traps people.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rijjka on September 23, 2009, 06:33:53 pm
Well lets see, it was my third fortress, and my only sucsessful one so far. Suddendly the game informs me that a Titan has showed up on my doorstep.

"Crap! A titan? I've never made it this far before!"

I was a bit terrified, on account of having lost about 50 dwarves to no less then six goblin seiges in six seasons. (on per season folks, non-stop, for a year and a half.) My numbers were dwindling, my supper defense wasn't done, most of my champions were waylaid with a myrad of wounds, and of course, I diodn't have a magma feture and hadn't managed to make anything steel. just iron, and not fancy iron at that.

So the beasty startsto march towards the base, I order all my dwarves inside and activate the military. My legendary engraver is away from the fortress and hops into the entrance for my massive water system, which counts as inside and was convinently empty of water at the time. However it was also empty of all forms of defense.

So I was hoping mr. titan wouldn't go liesurely kill him first. He didn't, thankfully, and headed straight for the main gate. Only to be taken captive by the first cage trap he stepped on.

Sweet, I have a a titan in a cage now. Now what? So i went to the wiki, read up on the thing, and realized I may be able to train it, if I could just get it's cage to a more convient location.

So I placed a cage, and went to his and assigned him to it,. One of my dwarfs comes and stops by the cage. "Alright, progress!"

now I had had a goblin execution tower, and I've had completly useless dwarves drag a goblin all the way out of the fort to the top of the tower with no problem. So I thought it would be the same. untill have way to the cage, the titan tears the dwarf holding his leash, neatly in two. Blood everywhere, and now I have  a titan in my base on the loose.

It could have ended far worse though, but I had a hunter in the hall, that knocked it out with a arrow right to the neck, and then a legendary wrestler ran up and tore it to shreds with his bare hands.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: termitehead on September 24, 2009, 04:36:24 pm
1) Mass constructions
2) Mass designations
3) MASS DESIGNATIONS from the stock menu (melting all narrow iron helms, etc in one keystroke!)
---

I'd say the stock menu is the best by far, mass forbidding of items without hunting them down is a massive time saver
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bluephoenix on September 24, 2009, 10:22:42 pm
Once in a siege the enemy brought only bowmen and a few swordsmen goblins that is.

When the message appeared :"A vile force of darkness has arrived" I ordered all civilian dwarfs inside, the goblins caught up to two fisher dwarfs and fired a massive rain of arrows at them and killed them of course and then i check  all the goblins inventorys, I look and thought:" Oh what do we have here? they have no arrows left", then i send my swords masters and wrestlers out just find out that the goblins dont need any arrows in their inventory.

I am smarter since  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on September 24, 2009, 10:26:19 pm
The goblins do need arrows in their inventory; they probably just kept them in quivers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bluephoenix on September 24, 2009, 10:38:26 pm
 I must have overlooked them then  :(
Or maybe it were orcs, i cant remember correctly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SquirrelWizard on September 25, 2009, 12:33:09 am
okay I'm suffering from a cage crisis, that is they're all full, so in an effort to remedy this, I decide to build an above ground pit to throw the goblins into and then get my marks dwarves to shoot them for practice. So I've made sure that they've been divested of their gear, and I order all of them to be dumped into the pit.

Now I understand that thieves will escape, so i had posted my marks dwarves nearby for when they try.

WELL.... little did I know my pit wasn't as secure as I thought it was. I was under the impression that you couldn't exit a ramp to a corner if the wall next to the ramp was blocked off, apparently i was mistaken. As all of the goblins attempt to flee by running up along the pit's walls. Well my marks dwarves who are kitted out with backpacks, and waterskins, and quivers, go to town on them...

the result? half of my ammo stock spread out over nearly half of the map...

Apparently my dwarves went to the stormtrooper academy for marksman lessons...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on September 25, 2009, 12:37:26 am
Yeah, gobs bring quivers.

Annoying thing I found: Soldiers, no matter what their settings, will seek out backpacks if they lack. So, if you have backpacks, be warned that you won't be able to rush-squad some dwarfs as they think "Hey, I need some snazzy new equipment!"

Thankfully packs seem to stay on when deactivated.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mareck on September 25, 2009, 11:11:55 am
I had them pull ze lever.
WRONG LEVER!!!!!!!!
I released a 100 x 100 x 10 deep lake.
The Flood path leads straight to the lever room. There is no undo no stopping it. The anti flood lever was flooded. I have 30 dwarves trapped 15z down and no pick.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bluea on September 25, 2009, 11:57:21 am
When I started my mountainunder-the-jungle-home, I'd slammed down a cheap small moat. A couple years in, I mad a larger moat so I'd have access to more of the trees, etc.

Finally, I get to the point where it's megaproject time. And so there's going to be a moat-around-the-whole-region. With a five tile border so everyone can enter the map and march around the edges to the designated entry area(s).

But there's a brook. And I'd like to be able to run the moat as either wet or dry (just for giggles.) So I will need to be able to "turn off" the brook - meaning floodgates, etc.

Excellent. I wanted to start the dwarven exercise program anyway. (Constructs rows of pumps, walls to direct the water away from all the staircases, etc.) A small oops as I realize Hey, the brook is an infinite water source, and this isnt quite enough drainage. But Id recognized the possibility - all I had to do was stop pumping and wait a little to add more walls to corral the water on the upper level better.

At this point, I have roughly fifteen legendary pump operators, and all of the brook except for the first five (or so) tiles are completely drained. So there are projects going on all over the place in the brook-and-moat-bed. Sally ports, ramps-with-bars into the moat from the edge at 8 spots, various floodgates to allow shuffling water between the inner moat, the second moat, and the edge moat.

So, second trial. Im pumping a lot of water up a level into whats effectively a very large cistern that goes pretty close to the edge. The target tiles for my floodgates are dry, lets slam them down. Um.... too close to edge.

What?!?! I checked this! Arrrgh! Ok, dont panic. The pumping is keeping the status quo just fine, it just means there will be a whole lot more water up there. Send runners to go build even more walls around the cistern so it can hold more water. The cistern ends up being about eight tiles wide and runs the length of the map before spilling onto the moat with a lot of the water remaining on the upper level, crossing the moat and leaving the via the edge.

Careful consideration of exactly which squares I could put walls and floodgates in. But this third plan involves removing a couple of constructed walls in the brook-bed from the last plan. This should all be fine - legendary pump operators make the whole area bone dry.

But.

Removing the two constructed walls also removes the floor above them. (Because there wasnt a floor - the top of the wall was holding up the water in the cistern.) Unlike flow all along one Z-level, flow down a level is damn fast. Still not an issue - Ill be able to reconstruct the walls in no time - because theyre right next to a pump. But, wait. The tiles that have been bone dry for quite awhile now are accumulating water? WTH? Thats the pumping area! And... shifts Z-level. Yep, those are the tiles that are supposed to be pumped. But... no one is pumping. Arrrgh! Lets see... Drink, drink, party, sleep, sleep, store owned item, drink, No job, no job, no job.... Hum. Pumps, plenty of pump operators,  - but no pump operators. Flood in progress. Zillions of workers in the damn brook/moat. (There was also a massive deforestation-of-moat and harvest-the-shrubs activity going on right then.)

1) Cancel all in-moat activities.
2) Flip all levers for the in-moat sally ports. (They all are on levers as anti-kobold entrances.)
3) Flip levers to limit the water flow by blocking flow into the other moats, etc.... oh crap. Thats a Champions Sock. And thats a freaking rock on the other main floodgate. Arrrgh. Unflip the levers to prevent them from deconstructing.
4) Examine pumps closely. Not forbidden, was working fine. Hum. The only change was removing a couple of walls. How the hell. Poke, poke, poke. Aha, Hanging Pump!  Well, damn.
5) Tried sending in a couple masons to build walls as insta-flood-prevention. I manage to complete one (of three) just in time for...
6) SIEGE. Wave of Beak Dog riding goblins appears very close to that wall I just mentioned. One level up, five squares away. With archers. Masons slaughtered. Then they cross the freaking moat on the top of the wall. Ok, this isnt good.
7) PANIC. Insert fight here. Be happy I had inner moats, a glut of champion marksdwarves, and plenty of safe raised fortifications, etc.

So eventually, the fight is over and my whole moat level has a whole lot of water in it. There was never any flood into interior structures - but FPS sure took a major hit.

Plan. Four. Sigh.
Well, I dislike using bugs, but I cant deal with the speed here. Down to the level two below the moat, fortifications-to-edge. Floodgates nicely placed in nicely dry positions. Ok, levers test. Ok... lock miners in the room, designate lots of ramps up all over the place as drainage for the moat. Ramps dug, miners released, no casualties. Water disappears at double-time.

VICTORY!
Some ridiculous amount of in-game time has passed (4 years?) plenty of hassle with other sieges and whatnot. An inordinate amount of real-life time spent micromanaging the project.

Facepalm: Hey, you mean if Id built a bridge-as-wall I dont have the same limitations on how close to the edge I can build?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: snaggles on September 26, 2009, 08:32:44 am
Realizing that my game was  so slow because the fps cap had somehow been set to seven.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pierre Monteux on September 26, 2009, 10:22:55 am
The one is actually from today.  I've started playing DF in the last months of the 2D version.  I've read boatsmurdered, and other succession games.  And I've always wondered were the calendar came form. 4 granite  After a while of not finding it (because I really wanted a better figure of how long until a season, not just "late winter") I finally decided that there was some page somwehre that explained it, but it really wasn't in teh game; just made up so that succession games would make more sense.  Today, I noticed something....  looking at my z page, seeing it was now Late autumn, suddenly I read the whole line.  "17th Timber, 206, Late Autumn".  ???

*insert facepalm here*

And to think I've been looking for this so long, and it was as plain as the nose on my face.

EDIT

Quote from: Lymojo on May 24, 2009, 12:49:16 pm
Just had a new one recently.

Did not realize you could easily drain water off the map by carving fortifications into an edge tile.

Did it have to be that easy?  *facedesk*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wereman on September 29, 2009, 11:20:23 pm

This has probably happened to everyone at least once, but as i was digging down to make my multistory entrance hall,
both miners at the exact same time, stood on the supports and dug out around themselves. :(

(http://fc04.deviantart.com/fs51/f/2009/267/d/c/sdfg_by_Quidgo.jpg)

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on September 29, 2009, 11:31:17 pm
Luckly it looks like it's probable that at least one of them has a stone to bridge the gap there. I'm pretty good about rescuing my miners.. except when channeling lave directly through ice.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: XSI on September 30, 2009, 05:03:05 am
A little note on something I've found, most of the times dwarves seem to prefer working either horizontally or vertically next to the tile they have to mine/build/whatever, but they can walk diagonally.

Since I know this only one of my dwarves has trapped himself mining or building, and that was because I wanted him to trap himself, so he could do my special dump orders for an unnamed secret stone, I'm not letting the dirty peasants touch that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TauQuebb on September 30, 2009, 07:33:02 am
Seeing a really cool fortress once, with a magma moat from the edge of the map all the way around, with one section left free so all sieges and bad guys turn up there and thinking,'I have to do that'.

So set about a nice spot with a magma pipe and work on the deep pumping system to draw it up, two pumps to each level, masses of wooden axles to work the lot. Then i turn it on and grin, all the pumps start up.

A second or two later, where is the magma? its not coming out the top? check the magma pipe, its going down, so where is it going?.

Turns out I had placed one pump the wrong way around, the magma had leaked back half way up, melting mechanisms and burning up a tone of axles...on a low wood map and all
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SquirrelWizard on September 30, 2009, 08:53:20 am
Quote from: Wereman on September 29, 2009, 11:20:23 pm

This has probably happened to everyone at least once, but as i was digging down to make my multistory entrance hall,
both miners at the exact same time, stood on the supports and dug out around themselves. :(



Actually thats fairly easy to fix, just have the miners dig out the rock under them (I assume you are channeling) and on the lower level, order them to convert one of the soon to be channeled out walls as a ramp, and voila miners are back with the general populace.

Face palm moment of mine.

I spend hours meticulously designing a pump system for my constructed volcano. Everything is perfectly in place so I throw the switch to see how it works, and the pumps dont work. Why? Because the power access to the bottom pumps was blocked by a floor. I remove the floor, and the pumps collapse... So I had to spend even more time (albeit not as long as the first time around), redesigning my power structure to work the pumps.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Quietust on September 30, 2009, 09:44:49 am
There's a nifty trick for preventing that - build a supported axle or gear assembly next to one of the higher-up pumps and none of them will collapse.

Of course, I discovered this one the hard way, though thankfully it only resulted in a few tiles of mud (a 4-tall pump stack for a waterfall room).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SquirrelWizard on September 30, 2009, 11:51:01 am
yeah I did that one one of them and it worked, buttt...

when I dug out the floor where the power was supposed to transfer, the stacks stayed up, so I thought to myself, "huh... guess it works." couple of minutes later the stack collapsed, the one stack I attached the gear to to keep it up, I said screw it and let it collapse as I was gonna have to redo the entire thing to begin with.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on September 30, 2009, 01:45:28 pm
My latest- finally learning that you can "stack" repeated orders in workshops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: carebear on September 30, 2009, 03:29:40 pm
My latest: Learning that you can  not just use / and * but also 9 and 3 to scroll faster through several menus. Previously I was scrolling through long lists of units and through the trading screen one line at a time!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Innominate on September 30, 2009, 09:32:24 pm
The humans have been besieging my fortress for so long that their horse mounts have given birth. I now have hostile horse foals running around outside.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Heliman on September 30, 2009, 11:21:36 pm
Quote from: ThtblovesDF on April 24, 2009, 07:51:00 am
(http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c335/Ezimodnar/channel.png)
Oh god, I never thought I'd be able to laugh again before that
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KenboCalrissian on October 01, 2009, 12:40:58 am
v.

Really.  For a long time, every time I wanted to check a unit's wounds/jobs/status, I hit k, found the dwarf in question, read the name, hit u, searched my LONG list of units for that name, hit c.  I didn't catch on that there was an easier way until I watched a couple of DF movies and went "Wait a second... how did they get to that directly from the main menu?!"

Other than that, I almost drowned all of my dwarves hanging out at the meeting zone/well in the main entrance of my fortress with an artificial waterfall accident.  For my first attempt, I followed the Wiki's directions for building a pump tower and made the mistake of trusting this line:

Quote
Even without walls surrounding the pumps, water still gets up with only minor leakage.

WRONG WRONG WRONG.  Or at least, what it seems to suggest is wrong.  I didn't completely wall in the pumps thinking everything would be cool, but I ended up creating a tower of misty death spewing water in every direction at an alarming rate.  One of my hunters was immediately swept away into the makeshift river.  Fortunately, I had thought to tie my gear assembly to a lever, so I was able to kill it and save my fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: azaydius on October 01, 2009, 03:17:53 am
So I had this dragon get captured in a cage.  I thought, "Sweet! I'll have my Dungeon Master tame him and it will be the most badass pet ever!"  After he had been tamed and was set loose to guard my fortress he found a Kobold thief sneaking about in my main hallway.  The dragon was more than willing to help with this matter.

Unfortunately, dragons happen to breathe fire.  Fire happens to not care what it hits and the giant cone of fire death breath my dragon put forth to kill this kobold did its job admirably.  The kobold died a horrible death... along with about ten dwarves who were in the path of the blast.  Additionally the blast set fire to EVERYTHING flammable, which was the majority of all my food, items, drinks and shops.  The ensuing blaze and smoke from it effectively rendered that level of my fortress uninhabitable.  To top it off, the pathways to the rest of my fort were through this inferno of death.  Dwarves don't seem to know that smoke and fire are bad for them so very quickly pretty much every dwarf in my fort was dead or dying.  Lots of FUN, but also FML.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on October 01, 2009, 04:23:23 am
I made a ridiculously complicated ice fortress on a glacier. Engravings everywhere, giant architectural marvels and crazy aquifer management schemes. It was all designed from the get-go as a fort to be visited in adventure mode.

...where it promptly melted.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gerkinzola on October 01, 2009, 06:28:07 am
Spending literally 6 hours making a 29z level pumping system and aqueduct system to move water across a 6 by 6 map only to discover an underground river right BELOW my moat
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KenboCalrissian on October 01, 2009, 08:21:07 am
Quote from: Heliman on September 30, 2009, 11:21:36 pm
Quote from: ThtblovesDF on April 24, 2009, 07:51:00 am
(http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c335/Ezimodnar/channel.png)
Oh god, I never thought I'd be able to laugh again before that

Urist McMiner has died of thirst!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: denito on October 01, 2009, 09:19:37 am
Quote from: KenboCalrissian on October 01, 2009, 12:40:58 am
WRONG WRONG WRONG.  Or at least, what it seems to suggest is wrong.  I didn't completely wall in the pumps thinking everything would be cool, but I ended up creating a tower of misty death spewing water in every direction at an alarming rate.

Tower of misty death?  SWEEET!  That will go perfectly with my new fort.  I must build one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Canadark on October 01, 2009, 09:29:08 am
...my first time fooling around with moving water to higher z-levels. I built a windmill on top of a pump by a brook, I came back a minute later to see a few of my carpenter dwarfs holding on for dear life while the ones standing at the higher z level were yelling over the torrent of water, "turn it off! turn it back off!".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendus on October 01, 2009, 10:22:12 am
Just embarked without an axe or metal to forge one. I have 3 logs total until I can strike some ore.

At least I have 5 mining picks. Shouldn't take... too long.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaming Monkey on October 01, 2009, 02:30:37 pm
I turned all my food stuffs into drink stuff.  Then flooded my fort in frustration.  After thinking back I could have just slaughtered the hundreds of puppies in the butcher's cage to save my fort.

A facepalm moment indeed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on October 01, 2009, 03:16:00 pm
Or perhaps cooked some of that drink stuff back into food.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deon on October 01, 2009, 04:11:17 pm
Quote from: Time Kitten on October 01, 2009, 03:16:00 pm
Or perhaps cooked some of that drink stuff back into food.
This.
You, sir, deserve a hundred of facepalms.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fist_Of_Armok on October 01, 2009, 04:23:18 pm
I both love and hate some of my old fortresses, because I was not and still am not terribly good at design.

I usually have to settle for carpeting the ground in traps.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on October 01, 2009, 07:35:11 pm
Quote from: Innominate on September 30, 2009, 09:32:24 pm
The humans have been besieging my fortress for so long that their horse mounts have given birth. I now have hostile horse foals running around outside.


This happened to me once, except

1) They were ambushers from another (modded) race that got stuck on the map because by stroke of luck I had been de-ramping my mountain at the time.

2) The foals revealed the ambushers, and the ambushers beat the crap out of the foals.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aaaamory on October 01, 2009, 09:26:54 pm
I just had a facepalm moment just now.  My dwarves were ignoring my Collect Sand order until I realized that I had to designate a zone over some sand.  And I have collected sand a million times before.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SquirrelWizard on October 02, 2009, 02:50:06 am
While cleaning out the magma drain, for quicker draining I get a message "Urist McMiner has been caught in a web." I start to get my two squads of marksdwarves to mobilize, meanwhile trying to figure out if it would be possible to trap a giant cave spider.

then I have a moment of realization. these spider webs were in the output of my magma drain. A quick perusal of the unit list showed 2 giant cave spiders, deceased, one still burning somewhere.

/facepalm

false alarm...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkflagrance on October 02, 2009, 03:53:53 am
Wanted to show my friend the effects of magma. So, I look for a goblin to throw in. Pick a goblin thief. Assigned him to be hauled there from his cage before I realized what I had just done.

*First Facepalm*

OK, fine. I'll pick something sweet, innocent, and most importantly defenseless. Like a puppy.

I throw the puppy in the magma pipe, and...nothing happens. The puppy sits there flashing question marks. My friend is not only disturbed but now saying that this is karma.

I continue with my game. An hour later I get the message that the puppy has suddenly burned to death. 2 and 2 come together, and I realize that I had turned temperature off, and the puppy had instead been incinerated by a fire imp.

*2nd Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neruz on October 02, 2009, 08:21:34 am
My personal favorite was when one of the new immigrants i'd recently trained to champion wrestling just arbitrarily decided to go outside and jump in the magma pipe. And not die from it.

He was down there for three years killing imps, fire men, magma men and magma fiends (modded critter) before i finally noticed, checked and temperature was on, wondered if maybe my dwarves had bugged out and i'd accidentally made them magma immune or something. So i rigged up a system to make myself an under-magma fortress! Awesome right?

Turns out that magma immunity was a bug unique only to that single dwarf. He also appears to require no food and sleep, so he chilled down there for another few years before some more immigrants came and i started trying to rebuild (now with a good portion of the mountain flooded with magma, which was oozing all over one of the lower plains.


And then, following a seam of gold, i accidentally breached the old fort with my new fort...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Luraien on October 02, 2009, 10:03:23 am
The other day one of my favourite jewelers ended up fighting a berserk dwarf, he took some heavy injuries but none he couldn't sleep off. Seasons passed and eventually he got better, I watched him raise out of his bed for the first time and head towards the door. Just as he was leaving, a child who also turned berserk after not having the right materials for crafting, entered the room and attacked him. A few dogs tore chunks off the kid and obviously it bled to death, but I can just imagine the jewelers reaction.

"Ah finally I'm well enough to start working again OH WHAT THE F-"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadowclasper on October 02, 2009, 02:20:07 pm
I have a fantastic water fall in my fortress, so fantastic that I decided to a) Build my throne room so it's back is onto it and gets filled with mist, and b) that I decided to build a floor out over the water to see if I could make an freaking awesome open air statue garden/meeting place/zoo with a WELL. It'd have been awesome.

I lost 4 dwarves in the attempt as ravenening carp and longnose gar grabbed their beards and pulled them under. I lost another one who was stupid enough to try and go and fish their corpses out of the water since they were RIGHT on the edge. I forbid everything on them and walled off all access to that section of the river. Also put vertical iron bars between the throne room and the actual water fall. Not going to let my first baron/count/duke/king whatever fall out of his own chair because a CARP attacked him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Atarlost on October 02, 2009, 04:41:05 pm
Just drain the river at the source and watch all the carp air-drown. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadowclasper on October 02, 2009, 05:00:27 pm
I'm trying that... but the question becomes, Where too? Do I make big ol' pipes and aqueducts to the other second (lower) water fall? or what?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ArkDelgato on October 02, 2009, 08:33:16 pm
Quote from: Neruz on October 02, 2009, 08:21:34 am
My personal favorite was when one of the new immigrants i'd recently trained to champion wrestling just arbitrarily decided to go outside and jump in the magma pipe. And not die from it.

He was down there for three years killing imps, fire men, magma men and magma fiends (modded critter) before i finally noticed, checked and temperature was on, wondered if maybe my dwarves had bugged out and i'd accidentally made them magma immune or something. So i rigged up a system to make myself an under-magma fortress! Awesome right?

Turns out that magma immunity was a bug unique only to that single dwarf. He also appears to require no food and sleep, so he chilled down there for another few years before some more immigrants came and i started trying to rebuild (now with a good portion of the mountain flooded with magma, which was oozing all over one of the lower plains.


And then, following a seam of gold, i accidentally breached the old fort with my new fort...
This is madly bad-ass.
Perhaps he wasn't immune to magma, he was just making millions of perfect heat-evasion savings checks.
While swimming in magma and killing magma beasts.
Swimming in molten rock.

Get this dwarf a medal or some fucking golden teeth.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: quinnr on October 03, 2009, 02:01:13 pm
Just did my first facepalm EVER in this game...
Was making a death trap to flood my place if ever need be...which would be never, so I was mining it from above and missed...and it flooded my fortress...:facepalm:

I had the floodgate set up (my first floodgate ever!) and everything...IT EVEN HAD A LEVER! Fail.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: XSI on October 03, 2009, 02:46:42 pm
I just had a facepalm moment

Right under my magma cistern there was a single tile of gold ore, which I want.

Well, no problem, I'll just selectively cave in the place around it so that my magma forges keep going, and the extra magma can be drained into the ocean. And look, here's a tile I can drop in the path of the magma, so it will all go the right way.

I then start channelling to get the tile attached to just a support with a lever.

I then look down to check on the gold, turns out, I channelled the gold I wanted to get the tile free, and there's now 2 levels of 7/7 magma on top of the gold ore.

*Facepalm*
(Now in ASCII form, spoilered)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KenboCalrissian on October 04, 2009, 09:06:08 pm
Ugh, new facepalm...

I've been building a castle in my spare time with a way-too-easy fortress.  One of my main reasons for it is to exercise organizational skills, since my first fortress suffered from major placement problems.  I've been planning everything out as carefully as I can... three years into the project, and I reach a pretty big flaw; my planned dining hall is on the opposite side of the castle from the food stockpile.

I guess it could be worse... At least I didn't set my jewelers next to the food so I'd only get gemmed barrels (I have enough of those as it is...)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on October 05, 2009, 01:01:21 am
Actually, I set my food stockpiles far from my dining room... at a far end of my fortress, protected by a finished meal stockpile so my dwarves don't munch up all the cookable veggies and meats.  then take a small stockpile from that into my dining room.  Saves me some food management headaches.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bluea on October 05, 2009, 01:20:23 am
In a ten year old fort, I finally decided to start schmoozing the elves to see if I could get anything neat. A goblin ambush promptly appeared on top of the Elves and wiped out a caravan. But they had been happy enough that I didn't get attacked by the elves.

Part of the schmoozing was a plan to never, ever, have any loose wood for the entire spring season. Piles of Legendary Wood Burners mean this isn't all that tough.

Another aspect was always paying way, way more than necessary for the trade goods. Say 50k per caravan over and above the measly value of the elven goods.

Throw in a flat-out-bribe of 50k in goods. That's 100k per year.

So that first year after Bad Things happened to the elves, I received 100% wood. It cost me something like 300 ducks. And 100kducks in overpayment.

The very next year I received something like 7 wagons of rope reed cloth. With about three spools of rope reed thread.

So... from bad to worse. Hrrm. Redouble my efforts!

Time passes. Insert piles of money going to freaking pointy ear types here.

Cloth...Cloth...Cloth....Cloth...

Jeeze, they were really angry about losing their flipping caravan.

Cloth... Cloth....

"Hey, did you know that they consider cloth better than exotic animals in cages?"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ziusudra on October 05, 2009, 03:02:56 am
After seeing goblins just waltzing on in I realized I had just built cages, not cage traps. "Ugh, they don't even look the same. OK, I can fix this."

Needs mechanisms

"Oh carp!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Viroath on October 05, 2009, 07:47:32 am
Quote from: Siru on September 22, 2009, 09:05:13 am

-"Hey you mean by pressing 'z' I can actually choose what kind of cabinet goes in the noble's room?"


Wait...  You mean I don't have to forbid all masterpiece furniture of a type before building it for the masses, only to unforbid them and forbid everything else from the stocks menu then place the damned cabinet in the noble's room?

<Facepalm>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kurokikaze on October 05, 2009, 08:01:40 am
Quote from: Viroath on October 05, 2009, 07:47:32 am
Quote from: Siru on September 22, 2009, 09:05:13 am

-"Hey you mean by pressing 'z' I can actually choose what kind of cabinet goes in the noble's room?"


Wait...  You mean I don't have to forbid all masterpiece furniture of a type before building it for the masses, only to unforbid them and forbid everything else from the stocks menu then place the damned cabinet in the noble's room?

<Facepalm>

Wait, wha... facepalms too
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on October 05, 2009, 11:32:37 am
Quote from: Viroath on October 05, 2009, 07:47:32 am
Wait...  You mean I don't have to forbid all masterpiece furniture of a type before building it for the masses,
Well, that isn't entirely a bad idea- means you can avoid going through the long list if you're building in a hurry.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KenboCalrissian on October 05, 2009, 12:19:39 pm
Quote from: bluea on October 05, 2009, 01:20:23 am
In a ten year old fort, I finally decided to start schmoozing the elves to see if I could get anything neat. A goblin ambush promptly appeared on top of the Elves and wiped out a caravan. But they had been happy enough that I didn't get attacked by the elves.

Part of the schmoozing was a plan to never, ever, have any loose wood for the entire spring season. Piles of Legendary Wood Burners mean this isn't all that tough.

Another aspect was always paying way, way more than necessary for the trade goods. Say 50k per caravan over and above the measly value of the elven goods.

Throw in a flat-out-bribe of 50k in goods. That's 100k per year.

So that first year after Bad Things happened to the elves, I received 100% wood. It cost me something like 300 ducks. And 100kducks in overpayment.

The very next year I received something like 7 wagons of rope reed cloth. With about three spools of rope reed thread.

So... from bad to worse. Hrrm. Redouble my efforts!

Time passes. Insert piles of money going to freaking pointy ear types here.

Cloth...Cloth...Cloth....Cloth...

Jeeze, they were really angry about losing their flipping caravan.

Cloth... Cloth....

"Hey, did you know that they consider cloth better than exotic animals in cages?"

You know what's funny?  I started seizing the Elven caravans because all they were sending was cloth.  I had never seized before, so I was expecting a siege after the first time... when they came back with even more cloth, I seized again... the third time, they came chock full of stuff I actually wanted!  Not a speck of cloth to be found, but they had wood, exotic animals, wooden weapons (for sparring), booze, seeds, fruit... they even came loaded with wooden crafts.

I treated them VERY well that year, and the next was the same good stuff, then the next it was all cloth again... which I promptly seized.  Looks like with the elves, you need to do your trading with a clenched fist.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neoptolemus on October 05, 2009, 06:49:24 pm
Biggest facepalm moment I've had is creating an underground sculpture garden with a water feature (tastefully arranged pools of water with seating next to them). The water level in the pools is only around 3 or 4 so things tend to fall in and disappear forever.

So far my dwarves have managed to lose an artifact bucket, various items of clothing and two babies down there, while two dwarves have also thrown themselves down there after going mad or depressed. The miasma that now wafts up from there is sure to upset the dozen or so dwarves I have partying in there, not to mention the unhappy thoughts from being unable to bury their mates.

Actually, I've noticed a third baby just crawling around the fortress, hungry and thirsty but no dwarf seems willing to claim it. Is this a bug or is there some serious post-natal depression hitting my fortress?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on October 06, 2009, 02:07:56 am
it means that its mother id dead.

as for mine, i built an outside drowning chamber for orcs, and when thy came, i filled it, expecting they would drown. instead, they just sat there, so i sent archers out to destroy them, completly unaware that the orcs could now climb out of the water, and slaughter my dwarves.  I built them inside from that point on.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SquirrelWizard on October 06, 2009, 02:12:36 am
the crawling baby means that either the mother is dead, or unable to pick the child up (in jail, unconsious due to injuries)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yncke on October 06, 2009, 04:04:51 pm
This happened fairly early during the life of my first fortress. I lost one miner to freestyle channel digging. After a while, I noticed two other miners not being very happy due to being hungry and thirsty. I didn't understand the stair system yet, and those two miners had somehow dug down a hole, with no way of getting up again. Whatever I designated, I couldn't get them to dig themselves out of it again. One starved to death, the other dehydrated.
After that, nobody did any mining anymore. Even if I made all my dwarves miners, and gave them no other jobs, they just loitered around instead of doing some honest digging.

I figured they were scared to mine because of the three miners dying in a short time span.

After two years, I was running out of rooms to fill and getting really annoyed with all those cowards. Then I realised that my fort's only three pickaxes were at the bottom of the canal or in an unreachable pit...

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheCatfish on October 06, 2009, 07:10:13 pm
My most recent fort has two.

My first was embarking on the shores of an ocean, thinking "Hmm, well it's not splashing or anything everything is fine." then after exploring the place and setting up places to mine, that I then unpaused it and saw my dwarfs washed away in rage-filled spashes.

My second was when I discovered an underground magma pipe right below part of my aquifer. I figured, "Hey I could dig a channel to right above and just drip it on the pipe to end up with obsidian" after completing the channel I then recieved hundreds of "A section of the cave has collapsed" messages. Cue savescum (Which I really didn't want to do as It had been at least a year since I'd last saved)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KenboCalrissian on October 06, 2009, 08:15:33 pm
Here's a good one... I spent a good deal of time and resources setting up some royal bedrooms for my incoming Queen and consort (assuming she has one).  Rooms fully engraved by legendary engravers, masterwork beds, decent statues, the works.  I get distracted by a goblin siege, of which I took only a single casualty and a couple wounded.

Guess where the wounded were taken?  That's right... into the brand new masterwork bedrooms, bloodying up the sheets.  I forgot to create bedrooms, so they were considered really nice hospital beds.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SquirrelWizard on October 06, 2009, 08:53:06 pm
well you wont be getting any complaints from the prisoner  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on October 06, 2009, 11:14:44 pm
By the twentieth year of my fort, I had created a vast palace for the Queen, her consort, and the advisor. Well, not really "vast," but it had artifact furniture in every room, especially the Queen's. I had never survived long enough to get a King/Queen before, but this fort was bloody unstoppable; I was well on my way this time, and I was well prepared for Queen and her mooching entourage.


A couple years later, I finally figured out how to get a goddamn count/duke, and before long, "The Incoming King" appeared on my Nobles screen for the first time in any of my forts. My architectural value was, of course, far greater than the requirement, so I set out to build the roads I needed. That didn't take long, but I was still dismayed that prior offerings to the dwarves over the last few years didn't count toward a queen. Ah well, it's only another three seasons to the next dwarf carava-


You have struck Hidden Fun Stone! Praise the miners!


Oh, for the love of carp. Ah well, I still have time. Whoop, here's the dwarf caravan, here's ten bins of goblin shit. I'm sorry I didn't meet the quota of fifteen bins of goblin shit I gave you the last couple years, but the goblins haven't been around here for a while. Okay, now I have all the requirements for the Queen, maybe that'll override the HFS and my giant castle won't have been a complete waste of ti-


The Queen has arrived, dressed as a peasant.


God-DAMNit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TBot Alpha on October 07, 2009, 01:51:58 pm
I started a succession game with a friend, which had a disasterous first year. 4 dwarves drowned because of sea lampreys (in a river  ???) and another was mauled to death by a cougar. In the end there were only two dwarves left, the one I named after my friend and the one named after me. I had to outfit their bedrooms with lots of furniture to avoid them tantrumming and killing one another.

Later, when I got the fort back from my friend, I found that the small area I had dug out near the entrance (my miner had spent most of the first year in bed due to a mining accident) had simply been ignored in favour of digging all the way to the back of the map, digging five z-levels down, and starting again down in the rock layers.

What made me facepalm was just how badly he'd built it. All the workshops were sat in a line next to each other, none of the new dwarves had personal bedrooms and were practically living in the dining room, and he had dug out huge stone rooms for storage at the opposite end of the map to the workshops. The storage rooms were full of stone, he was half-way through making a communal sleeping area, and the farms were all in the top layer of soil that I had begun farming out, which meant that it took forever for the farmers to get up there and harvest, so all his season's crops rotted when he passed over to me.

There were other problems, but I'm not going to bother mentioning them. Just believe me when I say he made some very, very stupid and inefficient decisions. We've got access to a lot of stone, some gems, and some ore though, so I guess it's not all bad.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on October 07, 2009, 03:28:31 pm
Playing with civ forge, my first vamari caravan somehow exploded, but the liason showed up anyway and requested ravens beaks. So, next fall, after the dwarven caravan left, I set my newly gained legendary weaponsmith to makind a couple dozen masterwork silver raven beaks. The caravan arrived. Then a chaos dwarven ambush lead by some kind of sword-welding avatar of death wipes out the entire caravan and leaves. Now I have no silver and a stokpile full of weapons I never use.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dante` on October 07, 2009, 06:27:03 pm
I once had a fantastic layout set up. I had dug into a naturally accuring bottleneck and had a wall and moat set up. Unfortunatly diggin the last part of the moat stranded my dwarfs outside, No biggy whatever build the bridge, Oh. why do you wanna go t o the otherside to build it? Fine lets make a staircase from inside to the top of the wall so they can go around, Whatever i'll keep this.

Ok lets wall up the outside up there for some farms, Might as well.  Woot walls done!!! Oh yay orc siege *pull lever raise bridge* ... ... ... Why are there orcs in my base? What do you mean they can travel diagonally around walls if I dont extend it over the edge? WTF? DIE DIE DIE *death*

Reclaim, Ok dodido no orcs around. *sits* o.o Ok why cant I use anything?


-------Second---------

I had built on the edge of this lake, I wanted a well and a safe fishing spot, Hadnt thought of water preasure. Ok now whole forts flooded, All of my food and alcohol is down in the stock rooms underwater. I managed to save aLL my dwarfs though by locking all the doors and digging escape routs to the surface.  Now then. Lets pump out some water! *Warning <dwarf has drowned>* Huh wat? What do you mean three pumps = too much water? First they stopped working due to dangerous terrain, Next they were pushed by the water into the lake.  GG
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Irasian on October 08, 2009, 10:01:16 pm
When I started on a map with which I thought was perfect
flux stone yes
Temperature Temperate
Heavily forested
heavy vegetation
magma pipe
calm
underground river
soil layer

and I forgot to bring picks and any sort of metal item besides an axe. Don't ask how I managed it.
 :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kurokikaze on October 09, 2009, 11:29:46 am
Quote from: Irasian on October 08, 2009, 10:01:16 pm
When I started on a map with which I thought was perfect
flux stone yes
Temperature Temperate
Heavily forested
heavy vegetation
magma pipe
calm
underground river
soil layer

and I forgot to bring picks and any sort of metal item besides an axe. Don't ask how I managed it.
 :'(

Cut trees -> melt axe -> make pick? :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vester on October 09, 2009, 11:51:52 am
This is a modding facepalm, so I dunno if it counts, but...

I'm running Dig Deeper, and I got bored with Orcs monopolizing the war effort, so I introduced a new civ, a composite of Snakemen, Frogmen, and Lizardmen.

THEY WIPED OUT ALL THE ORCS ENTIRELY. OH GOD.

Bit of a facepalm for me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on October 09, 2009, 02:15:44 pm
Quote from: kurokikaze on October 09, 2009, 11:29:46 am
Quote from: Irasian on October 08, 2009, 10:01:16 pm
When I started on a map with which I thought was perfect
flux stone yes
Temperature Temperate
Heavily forested
heavy vegetation
magma pipe
calm
underground river
soil layer

and I forgot to bring picks and any sort of metal item besides an axe. Don't ask how I managed it.
 :'(

Cut trees -> melt axe -> make pick? :)
Needs an anvil, and at least one fire safe stone to make a wood burning kiln, then a furnace, then a forge.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dante` on October 09, 2009, 05:41:07 pm
You have magma, I can see if you didnty bring an anvil but DONT LET IT DISCOURAGE YOU...  Magma forge outta wood? lets du eet!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on October 09, 2009, 05:43:28 pm
It's a moot point, seeing as I doubt melting that axe will give you a whole steel bar.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zruku on October 09, 2009, 06:51:51 pm
Quote from: Irasian on October 08, 2009, 10:01:16 pm
When I started on a map with which I thought was perfect
flux stone yes
Temperature Temperate
Heavily forested
heavy vegetation
magma pipe
calm
underground river
soil layer

and I forgot to bring picks and any sort of metal item besides an axe. Don't ask how I managed it.
 :'(
Mind posting the parameters for that map?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on October 09, 2009, 07:07:23 pm
But really, you have axe, you have trees.  Gather up plants for an above ground farm, build a palisade, and hold out til the fall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendus on October 10, 2009, 11:33:55 am
Quote from: Irasian on October 08, 2009, 10:01:16 pm
When I started on a map with which I thought was perfect
flux stone yes
Temperature Temperate
Heavily forested
heavy vegetation
magma pipe
calm
underground river
soil layer

and I forgot to bring picks and any sort of metal item besides an axe. Don't ask how I managed it.
 :'(

Bah, easy. I do that all the time for fun, just gather wood and above ground plants/fish. That axe lets you build furniture and buildings, you can cook or make wood/leather/bone crafts for the caravan. Easy as pie.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hungry on October 10, 2009, 12:42:06 pm
Most recently...
Starting from the begining all on same fort, embarked on a map 16x16 with everything on it UGP UGR Chasm, magma pipe and pool, and hidden fun stuff, planned the whole expedition, embarked...looked around to mark out important spots; magnatite deposites, consentrations of visible gems, Bitumous coal, peat, native copper, native aluminum, native silver, pitchblende, ect.minerals, chasm, fresh water swamp, river with 16z drop falls, 15zcliffs, ....."Where the hell is my magma pipe?" (oh well I'll just have to be careful while digging), start digging into the cliffs....hit warm rock, moved hit moist rock, moves from cliffs, found snailmen didn't enjoy me in the swamp, moved in between chasm and river, learned that GCSs didn't like me near the chasm, at around 5+ i didn't stick around, moved to other side of river near map edged mountain cliffs, found that the two legged rhino lizards SWARMED the mountian cliff face and my only cat (who adoped my miner) loved to drag them to the dwarf with crazed speed, I had to butcher cat to stop the miasma flows, by this time I'm out of booze and hitting the first caravan with carpy basalt crafts, when they deside to constantly come from the other side of the map, the arive once out of four savescums being killed by the harshness, and when they arive, they bring some food, and some craft carp I wont use for a few years, they leave losing guard to 2 GCS as they walk calmly past, leason leaves no trouble, blast past some time into winter where my entire river freezes solid, notes that the fresh water swamp is not even chilly, three kolbolds show up and make off with some crafts I left in the tradepost, and run off south down the moutains, mule I desided to keep for later uncovers an ambush of GCS and I lock up my dwarfs inside till spring, GCS leave and river melts drowning one, I set up for fishing to discover that my dwarves never catch anything...looks for cause NO fish survive for who knows why, fast forward to summer where I've dug a tunnel to the fresh water swamp to hunt for snailmen....seeing that there is the only watersoarce and food soarce, breach into the magma pipe/then UGP/ then hit the UGR/ savescum to avoid deaths set dwarves to hunt, and they go strait to the chasm to attack the GCS/Chasm mountain to attack the moutain goats, and one guy my woodcutter axemen reaches the snailmenless then 15 tiles away compaired to GCS/goats at over 35....woodcutter gets gored by 4 snailmen......Facepalms/just gives up......


If you dont like walls of text dont read it...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zruku on October 10, 2009, 02:01:15 pm
Quote from: Hungry on October 10, 2009, 12:42:06 pm
Most recently...
Starting from the begining all on same fort, embarked on a map 16x16 with everything on it UGP UGR Chasm, magma pipe and pool, and hidden fun stuff, planned the whole expedition, embarked...looked around to mark out important spots; magnatite deposites, consentrations of visible gems, Bitumous coal, peat, native copper, native aluminum, native silver, pitchblende, ect.minerals, chasm, fresh water swamp, river with 16z drop falls, 15zcliffs, ....."Where the hell is my magma pipe?" (oh well I'll just have to be careful while digging), start digging into the cliffs....hit warm rock, moved hit moist rock, moves from cliffs, found snailmen didn't enjoy me in the swamp, moved in between chasm and river, learned that GCSs didn't like me near the chasm, at around 5+ i didn't stick around, moved to other side of river near map edged mountain cliffs, found that the two legged rhino lizards SWARMED the mountian cliff face and my only cat (who adoped my miner) loved to drag them to the dwarf with crazed speed, I had to butcher cat to stop the miasma flows, by this time I'm out of booze and hitting the first caravan with carpy basalt crafts, when they deside to constantly come from the other side of the map, the arive once out of four savescums being killed by the harshness, and when they arive, they bring some food, and some craft carp I wont use for a few years, they leave losing guard to 2 GCS as they walk calmly past, leason leaves no trouble, blast past some time into winter where my entire river freezes solid, notes that the fresh water swamp is not even chilly, three kolbolds show up and make off with some crafts I left in the tradepost, and run off south down the moutains, mule I desided to keep for later uncovers an ambush of GCS and I lock up my dwarfs inside till spring, GCS leave and river melts drowning one, I set up for fishing to discover that my dwarves never catch anything...looks for cause NO fish survive for who knows why, fast forward to summer where I've dug a tunnel to the fresh water swamp to hunt for snailmen....seeing that there is the only watersoarce and food soarce, breach into the magma pipe/then UGP/ then hit the UGR/ savescum to avoid deaths set dwarves to hunt, and they go strait to the chasm to attack the GCS/Chasm mountain to attack the moutain goats, and one guy my woodcutter axemen reaches the snailmenless then 15 tiles away compaired to GCS/goats at over 35....woodcutter gets gored by 4 snailmen......Facepalms/just gives up......


If you dont like walls of text dont read it...

Sounds like someone just had a ton of ''fun''.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hungry on October 10, 2009, 04:50:56 pm
Quote from: Hungry on October 10, 2009, 12:42:06 pm
If you dont like walls of text dont read it...

Facepalms because DF is a wall of text and icons....also it was very "Fun"...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Retro42 on October 10, 2009, 10:43:43 pm
All HFS related.  So spoilered.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on October 10, 2009, 10:49:12 pm
Was the booze explosion the first notice of them that you got?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Retro42 on October 11, 2009, 06:20:09 am
First notice was them crushing the doors to that room.  Then it went downhill very quick.  The world burned on that loss.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fist_Of_Armok on October 11, 2009, 05:54:15 pm
Quote from: Retro42 on October 11, 2009, 06:20:09 am
First notice was them crushing the doors to that room.  Then it went downhill very quick.  The world burned on that loss.

Should've just flooded it and cut your losses.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on October 11, 2009, 06:20:41 pm
Don't you know that that doesn't work against firey clowns.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Psychoceramics on October 11, 2009, 06:31:41 pm
Quote from: zchris13 on October 11, 2009, 06:20:41 pm
Don't you know that that doesn't work against firey clowns.

maybe not, but you're going down anyway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Irasian on October 11, 2009, 11:08:01 pm
Quote from: Zruku on October 09, 2009, 06:51:51 pm
Quote from: Irasian on October 08, 2009, 10:01:16 pm
When I started on a map with which I thought was perfect
flux stone yes
Temperature Temperate
Heavily forested
heavy vegetation
magma pipe
calm
underground river
soil layer

and I forgot to bring picks and any sort of metal item besides an axe. Don't ask how I managed it.
 :'(
Mind posting the parameters for that map?
Sorry I deleted the region
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FlamingCow on October 14, 2009, 01:48:07 am
Upon building by caravan dropping trade route over my bottomless pit, I lost 2 dwarves (the first a legendary miner/legendary mason, the second a legendary engraver/legendary mason) to the damned fools building a floor off a bridge, the first time I didn't know you couldn't do it, the second time they were just conspiring against me! Note: Bridges pseudosupport constructions. They support enough to build, but as soon as it's built it will cave in...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dorf3000 on October 14, 2009, 04:56:40 am
I finally gave in to cheese and put a channel round the edge of my map on the forest side (not on the mountain), as all my woodcutter/peasants kept getting ambushed there.  The season changes, and the dwarf caravan shows up in a sensible place to get to my depot.  Not so with the liason, who appears on the 1-tile wide strip behind the channel, and proceeds to start walking around it.  Guess what he finds?  Ambush!  Dead liason.  THEN I realize I've been mining ore veins/expanding the magma area for a couple of seasons, and I didn't save yet...

 >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Craftling on October 14, 2009, 10:39:10 pm
Quote from: Zruku on October 09, 2009, 06:51:51 pm
Mind posting the parameters for that map?
Quote from: Irasian on October 08, 2009, 10:01:16 pm
Sorry I deleted the region
*Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Raviaric on October 15, 2009, 02:22:47 pm
This was in my current fort, which happens to be on the 2D version.

I was having trouble with the seventeen elephants roaming the wilderness. I lost two dwarves and a pet bull to them. I ordered all dwarves inside and pulled the lever that seals off my fortress. It was too late when I realised I had pulled the wrong lever, drowning my grower/herbalist/brewer while he was picking cave flowers in my farming area. Facepalm. I then pulled that lever again, draining the controlled flood, and pulled the one I had meant to pull. Then I realized my only metalsmith and my carpenter were trapped outside now. I couldn't pull the lever again because that would make my drawbridge gate crush them. Double facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendus on October 15, 2009, 11:59:47 pm
Just happened. Was doing some spring cleaning in my fortress and decided to finish clearing my caged invaders. Two turned out to be already dead (and perfectly preserved in their cages, might I add, we have discovered dwarf refrigeration), but two others, who turned out to be a goblin pikeman and axelord, were hauled up to my splatter tower.

I use a retracting bridge to drop creatures (goblins who step on my cage traps or orcs who are knocked unconscious there) 8 z-levels onto some weapon traps. It's messy, inefficient, and brutal, making it very entertaining to watch. However, with the last pair I messed up on the lever timing and the same dwarf pulled both the close-floodgates lever an the release goblins lever. The cages opened first, and the axelord  managed to slip out. So now I have a goblin axelord released at the top of a stairwell that leads into my fortress already behind my defenses. Luckily, one of my hammerdwarf squads (all multi-legendary in hammerdwarf, wrestling, shield, and armor user skill, real champions) happened to be sitting on the ground level and were quickly set to guard the stairwell, and a marksdwarf happened to be nearby who put several bolts into him, but still. I released an axelord in the middle of my freakin fortress.

Later I began trying to floor a 31x31 tower to do an obsidian casing. After laying over 200 floor tiles, it occurred to me that I could use the bauxite clusters I had been digging through for years to just put up magma-proof bridges, since I was going to cast over them anyways. Takes 1/3 of the hauling jobs, though it's still probably a little slower (since it uses only 5% or so of the dwarf labor required to manually lay the floor tiles). Freed up most of my hauler force to clean up the mess from siege or smelt more of the endless piles of ore on this map (6 z-levels of magnetite infused limestone on top of quartzite layers drowning in sphalerite, with gold and bituminous coal in the bottom gabbro layers... I love this place).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Satarus on October 16, 2009, 08:42:15 am
Magma and sand in that to?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Paradox on October 16, 2009, 09:40:40 pm
Quote from: AncientEnemy on April 20, 2009, 09:18:57 pm
discovering the d->b menu.

oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones
Wait, what are you talking about.

...

I... I never knew about that tool.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: skaltum on October 17, 2009, 08:06:04 am
discovering that booze next to graphite cola lignite coke and wood doesn't mix well with fire imps
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on October 19, 2009, 04:10:11 pm
the k-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d thing I've done before I learned about mass dump from here...

but my big face palm was in an early fortress, I made a well in the courtyard and a tunnle from it to a hatch near the drawbridge, and set the hatch as a pond to be filled...

everything was fine until it reached about 3/7-4/7, and then I noticed that my dorfs were filling my well using my well as their watersource.

The face palm comes from my current fortress, though, where I dug a well that was going to be filled with screw pumps... except I didn't have enough water from the nearby murky pools (waited for the pools to refill for the season) so I had a bucket brigade to carry the water the last 100 tiles from my pipeworks to my lower well chamber... which was, again, fine, until it reached 3/7-4/7 and they decided to fill the well from itself, treking more than the distance from where the water was to be pipped from because of the locations of the stairs on the multiple z-levels.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Megaman on October 19, 2009, 06:58:55 pm
I let my nobles live long enough to kill my legendary woodcrafter. *facepalm*. I guess it's time to have REVENGE
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Osmosis Jones on October 19, 2009, 09:32:12 pm
I've been playing this game for two years, and only just found out that you can rapidly scroll through the u-nits screen using the 9 and 3 keys on the numpad. Gah.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Dakoth on October 19, 2009, 09:59:23 pm
Quote from: Osmosis Jones on October 19, 2009, 09:32:12 pm
I've been playing this game for two years, and only just found out that you can rapidly scroll through the u-nits screen using the 9 and 3 keys on the numpad. Gah.

WHAT
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on October 19, 2009, 10:24:37 pm
Page Up, Page Down.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on October 19, 2009, 10:30:13 pm
It also works on any menu that uses the arrow keys.

I find it easier just to remap those keys to shift+up and shift+down, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Osmosis Jones on October 20, 2009, 01:26:40 am
The thing that really kills me? I'd been using it on other menus with similar navigation for ages. It just never clicked to use it on that menu.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Euld on October 20, 2009, 04:10:34 am
Had two facepalms today when I retook a fortress which I abandoned because the first dwarf caravan got slaughted by the chasm creatures.  After assigning nicknames and proper jobs, I kicked all but five from the military to start fixing up the place.  After nearly three seasons of them running back and forth across a 16x16 map to stockpile their army gear, I suddenly realized I could have told them to stand in the fortress THEN strip down.

*facepalm*

And then my miners wouldn't mine, no matter what.  Everyone else went straight to work without a problem.  I unforbid the area just in case, made enough picks for all of them, kicked/activated from military, changed their weapon to axe and back to unarmed, nothing was working.  Then when scrolling through their labor screens, I realized none of them had mining activated.

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendus on October 20, 2009, 10:10:17 am
Quote from: Satarus on October 16, 2009, 08:42:15 am
Magma and sand in that to?

Magma yes, sand no. Which is fine, nothing you can make out of glass that isn't better out of electrum, steel, gold, or platinum. And believe me, there's more iron here than you can possibly use, I've just finished smelting one of the six magnetite veins I've uncovered, and there are still two more limestone levels I haven't dug out.

It also has a fair amount of mithril (dig deeper) though I'm saving it for my noble moods (not a huge deal, they demand I make mithril, I smelt a bar then process it into deep steel) and some tetrahedrite you can use to make electrum or billon.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: skaltum on October 20, 2009, 10:12:12 am
this just happened 5 mins ago causing the siege to anihilate my elf fort thunderforests.

wooden doors and buildings burrrrrn :( not good when a theres a squad accross the river of the fort and the doors keeping them out burn down

super facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: snaggles on October 20, 2009, 10:34:51 am
Quote from: Grendus on October 20, 2009, 10:10:17 am
Quote from: Satarus on October 16, 2009, 08:42:15 am
Magma and sand in that to?

Magma yes, sand no. Which is fine, nothing you can make out of glass that isn't better out of electrum, steel, gold, or platinum. And believe me, there's more iron here than you can possibly use, I've just finished smelting one of the six magnetite veins I've uncovered, and there are still two more limestone levels I haven't dug out.

It also has a fair amount of mithril (dig deeper) though I'm saving it for my noble moods (not a huge deal, they demand I make mithril, I smelt a bar then process it into deep steel) and some tetrahedrite you can use to make electrum or billon.

Windows and essentially free green glass crafts (if you have magma)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on October 20, 2009, 02:57:34 pm
Not to mention training an army of legendary gem cutters and gem setters so that when you do get a rare diamond, you can be assured it's gonna be an exceptional decoration.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Septus on October 21, 2009, 12:51:24 pm
Reading this puppy and finding out about the d-b menu. Huge one.

Most recent: while building a huge-ass goblet to fill with magma from an equally giant pitcher, in an eternal-flow loop, I got very tired of deconstructing the scaffolding piece by piece. I thought, 'nuts to this' and simply disconnected a large, eight-story-tall chunk from the cup structure, not being fully aware of the nature of gravity in DF.

Like how big things, when falling, will punch through floors, and not simply land on the wafer-thin chalk tiles, like in some less-awesome and less-fun simulations.

Many, many levels.

Right through my main food stockpile in the middle of drinking-time...

Then right through the throne room which doubled as a meeting place...

Then below that into the factory complex center...

Then below that, smashing into the lava tubes feeding the lava workshops...

Spilling the lava out...

...killing thirty dwarves in one go!   :P

On the plus side: the goblet looks fantastic.
Also, I have a new idea for an eight-story tall goblin-compressor.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Myroc on October 21, 2009, 01:13:41 pm
Quote from: Septus on October 21, 2009, 12:51:24 pm
Right through my main food stockpile in the middle of drinking-time, then right through the throne room which doubled as a meeting place, then below that into the factory complex center, then below that, smashing into the lava tubes feeding the lava workshops, spilling the lava out, killing thirty dwarves in one go!   :P

On the plus side: the goblet looks fantastic.

Sigged.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tsen on October 21, 2009, 01:41:52 pm
...spending 4ish real months working on a fort that had magma only to suddenly realize once a titan attacked that I had no water to give my best champion, who had become injured.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fist_Of_Armok on October 22, 2009, 03:28:08 am
I found out about it a few months back, and it was more of a "oh cool" than not, but Workshop Profile (q-P) allows you to choose which dwarves can use which whatever, as well as limiting by skill.

This pleases me immensely.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendus on October 22, 2009, 06:38:35 am
Quote from: snaggles on October 20, 2009, 10:34:51 am
Quote from: Grendus on October 20, 2009, 10:10:17 am
Quote from: Satarus on October 16, 2009, 08:42:15 am
Magma and sand in that to?

Magma yes, sand no. Which is fine, nothing you can make out of glass that isn't better out of electrum, steel, gold, or platinum. And believe me, there's more iron here than you can possibly use, I've just finished smelting one of the six magnetite veins I've uncovered, and there are still two more limestone levels I haven't dug out.

It also has a fair amount of mithril (dig deeper) though I'm saving it for my noble moods (not a huge deal, they demand I make mithril, I smelt a bar then process it into deep steel) and some tetrahedrite you can use to make electrum or billon.

Windows and essentially free green glass crafts (if you have magma)

Gem windows. That was the other thing, my stockpiles are flooded with natural gems. Guess you can't export those windows though. And like I said, there's nothing you can make out of glass (except windows, you got me there) that isn't better out of metal, and this fort has metal to waste.

Quote from: Time Kitten on October 20, 2009, 02:57:34 pm
Not to mention training an army of legendary gem cutters and gem setters so that when you do get a rare diamond, you can be assured it's gonna be an exceptional decoration.

Got a mood, fortunately. Training up a legendary gem setter isn't hard though, you can import a lot of low quality gems from the dwarves and humans without much trouble. Gem cutting isn't all that great, if you wanted to use that yellow diamond as a decoration you want a low skill gem cutter to cut it, since cut gems have no quality and high skill cutters tend to make gem crafts instead of cut gems.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Muz on October 22, 2009, 07:08:35 am
I once thought it was impossible to mine through "wet rock" or "warm rock". I was wrong.

Also, mining through wet rock, when I could've just channeled that last tile from above.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on October 22, 2009, 11:23:28 am
Quote from: Grendus on October 22, 2009, 06:38:35 am
Quote from: Time Kitten on October 20, 2009, 02:57:34 pm
Not to mention training an army of legendary gem cutters and gem setters so that when you do get a rare diamond, you can be assured it's gonna be an exceptional decoration.

Got a mood, fortunately. Training up a legendary gem setter isn't hard though

In my current fortress, three of my eight artifact moods (and three of my first four moods) were immigrant gem setters... sure, one legendary gem setter is useful for increasing wealth, but three?  another face palm related to moods, I had one of my metal workers taken by one, one of the immigrants that comes with novice in three skills and all activated, and I save scummed four or five times trying to get her to make something useful, like a sword or armor... but she kept making miniforges... then I noticed one of her likes is miniforges... yeah, that's not changing.

Fortunately, one of my other metal workers just got taken by a mood... and he likes shields.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: skaltum on October 22, 2009, 11:25:25 am
just realising after reese that a dwarfs likes may very well reveal the entire concept behind what artifact the dwarf makes
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sproingie on October 22, 2009, 12:40:02 pm
Quote from: Septus on October 21, 2009, 12:51:24 pm
Right through my main food stockpile in the middle of drinking-time...

Then right through the throne room which doubled as a meeting place...

Then below that into the factory complex center...

Then below that, smashing into the lava tubes feeding the lava workshops...

Spilling the lava out...

...killing thirty dwarves in one go!   :P

Epic.  You win.  I don't think I could have pulled that off on purpose.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on October 23, 2009, 06:13:02 am
Quote from: Reese on October 22, 2009, 11:23:28 am
In my current fortress, three of my eight artifact moods (and three of my first four moods) were immigrant gem setters...
The plus side is, (precious) gems are the most valuable mat aside from adamantine, so you can get some seriously shiny objects/furniture from those moods.

That they can ne'er do it again bugs me a little bit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on October 23, 2009, 06:48:49 am
A mild facepalm moment yesterday:

When I was dumping some goblin POWs into my killing pit, I was getting cancellation messages. At first I thought it was just the dwarves who were gathering the dumped items at the same time freaking out. However when I went down a z-level to start the meat grinder, I saw that there were no goblins in there. For a moment I was completely confused and then when I checked the door, I realized I had forgotten to lock it again after I had opened it for bone gathering (hence my facepalm moment). So I set it up to be controlled from a lever. The goblins had already been disarmed and were naked, so two or three of them got mauled by one of my cougars and some dogs, the two that had managed to get past the animals guarding the entrance to the trade depot got recaptured by the cage traps I have at both ends of my trap strip.

I would have drafted some of my dwarves, but I wanted to see how many would make it out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dorf3000 on October 23, 2009, 08:12:18 am
I've got temporary beds set up on one of the circular platforms near the top of my bottomless pit, while the miners dig out proper rooms further down.  Now apparently one of my married immigrants was pregnant, because I suddenly get a notice (and zoomed to) a peasant, who gave birth to a baby girl.  The mother is sleeping in the bed.  Awww.

The first thing the baby does after I unpause?  crawl DIRECTLY to the edge and fall in to the bottomless chasm.  *facepalm*


And the mother is still ecstatic.... the 'death of a child' thought is being cancelled by the 'recently gave birth' thought.  *FACEPALM*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MCHamster on October 23, 2009, 08:20:25 am
Quote from: Elvang on April 20, 2009, 09:18:02 pm
For awhile I was oblivious to the mass forbid/dump/melt features; I spent more time with the game paused after a siege marking stuff than the siege lasted.

MASS DUMP? WHAT? OH PRAISE ARMOK
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: skaltum on October 23, 2009, 08:53:25 am
as well as mass forbiding relcaiming etc. also did you know that you can set zone areas and most importantly refuse and above ground rules? :P like forbidding corpses and there item when they die. as well as forbiding dwarfs to stay inside while the military can go outside? ;D just saying
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: slink on October 23, 2009, 02:37:04 pm
I think Dwarven one-step-at-a-time thought processes must be contagious.  Last evening I had a wonderful idea.  The fortress I am working with at the moment has a brook that falls five levels through a notch in the landscape.  It is also fed by some aquifers that are cut by that notch, so there is "muddy brook (7/7)" on top of the "brook (7/7)" in the lower section.  The layers in between have the occasional 1/7 or 2/7 next to the face of the waterfall cliff due to the gel-like properties of DF water.  There was lots of mist in that little (four tiles wide) canyon.  I cut out a circular room halfway down, centered on the canyon.  It is about 28 tiles across.  I floored most of the canyon gap and did the part closest to the waterfall cliff-face with alternating grates and floor, and left an open gap right next to the cliff-face for the gel to ooze down.  Mist was coming both from the waterfall above the floor and from the turbulant water below the floor.

I put a statue on the far side from the entrance from the delvings, and made the entire room a statue garden.  The Dwarves loved it.  Lots of room to socialize, some overhead light so they did not get cave-adapted (their previous gathering place was 8x8 near the outdoor gardens), and a waterfall on one edge.  Pleased with myself, I went to bed.

This morning I began playing again.  The first wake-up call was a goblin seige that looked down into this canyon and said "Hey guys!  Fish in a barrel!"  I only lost one dog to that, mostly because the goblins got more interested in the fact that some of them had been impaled at the gate.

After the seige, I set my masons to walling off the access to the top of the canyon.  Everything looked rosy again.  Then winter arrived.  Dwarfsicles!  I actually only lost one child but, because the ice hides the bodies, I was not able to tell where she had been standing.  However, I saw that some of the tiles now covered with solid ice were ones that only had 1/7 water on them part of the time and the rest of the time only mist.

Panicking, I immediately set the Dwarves to removing the grates and the flooring in the icy area.  I guess I don't panic quickly enough, or else I had spent too long looking for the body of the frozen child.  At any rate, the ice thawed and two idiot Dwarves, who did not understand that unconnected grates don't support Dwarves, pulled the supports out from under another two dwarves who fell into the now melted "muddy brook (7/7)".  I did manage to get them out, along with various dogs and horses, and have now walled off the waterfall from the meeting area.

Oh well, at least now they are not trampling the aboveground crops on their way to their statue garden.   :D

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Atarlost on October 23, 2009, 03:13:24 pm
I created a 7 tile wide 70+ z-level cataract on a single core 2.2Ghz machine.  While running a web browser. 

Lag fort has lag. 

Apparently processing water falling down a slope takes a lot more power than water falling down a straight vertical drop to a chasm. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LumenPlacidum on October 23, 2009, 03:49:20 pm
Made me a fortress around a chasm, complete with bridges on multiple levels spanning the chasm, and everything being walled except for the one big entrance bridge.  Set up pressure plates on either side that triggered off of enemies and did two things: One, they released cages of dogs on the outward side of the bridge.  Two, they started to raise the drawbridge.

Got a goblin siege.  While having my drawbridge raised due to lever, I moved my whole military up to the interior of my courtyard, waiting for the enemies to come to them.  One group of goblins were armed with crossbows.  Of course, they just walk over to the chasm and start pelting the dwarfs walking around on bridges down below.  I immediately realize that I have to send my military out, so I pull the lever again.  In that time, one of the goblins steps on the pressure plate.  All the goblins get distracted by the dogs from the cages.  The bridge lowers from the lever pull.  The military charges.  The pressure plate reaches the bridge, catapulting my entire military into the air.  One lands on the interior side of the bridge, on the interior pressure plate.  The rest of them all fall into the chasm, either splattering against other bridges or falling into nothingness.  Since landing dwarfs fall down, the pressure plate was triggered again, quickly lowering the bridge, now that the goblins have killed the dogs.

The goblins charge into the fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bluea on October 23, 2009, 07:49:56 pm
Ouch Lumen. Just... ouch.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheDJ17 on October 23, 2009, 07:56:48 pm
Quote from: bluea on October 23, 2009, 07:49:56 pm
Awesome Lumen. Just... awesome.

Fixed up your spelling for you there.
Man IE Spell is the stuff.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: koruth on October 23, 2009, 10:16:22 pm
Usually, I have dorf fort on in the background of whatever I'm doing: I play a few minutes, and then pause and send it to the back.  I might only go about a year per day doing this, but the fort is really great for curing boredom between long downloads, code compiling, etc.

When I actually sit down and play seriously, though, I tend to go hours at a time.  And I almost never save.

I have lost upwards of 3 years of fort time on some occasions due to this.

And I only found the autosaving features in init.txt yesterday.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: quinnr on October 23, 2009, 10:46:13 pm
Wait, there are autosaves? And it save scums for you? SIGN ME UP!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neruz on October 24, 2009, 03:11:13 am
Put Wacom on floor and go to lunch; leave pen on Wacom.

Come back from lunch, spend 73 minutes trying to fix mouse before realising that pen is on Wacom and Wacom is still plugged in.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jryan on October 24, 2009, 07:25:31 pm
I was playing my map Waterworld (http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=43652.0).  It was going to be my first mega project.  So I got started making a solid defensible fort of happiness and cap my population.

After hours of painstakenly streamlining everying, building an unavoidable museum, a giant residential district complete with nursery, and acres of bauxite, marble and glass blocks. 

To reward the dwarves for a job well started I built a wonderful platinum statue garden....

Then I got retarded.

I started miniing out an iron deposit I had hit earlier... the plan was to start giving the militia good gear to meet the challenge of the goblin invasions to come.  It was perfect, the mining area was right next to the central staircase, so I could even turn the hollow left from the magnetite vein into my planned "Museum of Dwarven Industry"....

Except I forgot that one tile of the exposed magnetite was an aquifer.  My mass select told the dwarves to mine it.

Well, the water came spilling out pretty fast... so what did I do?  I panniced.  I tried to build a friggin wall to contain the wave... it failed as the dwarves would invariable build the wall too slow.  But it didn;'t stop me from trying a second time!

At this moment I realized that the mine area was seperated from the fortress by a single double wide hall... and I had flood gates on hand.  So TADA!!  I built the flood gate and all was well. 

Except for a dumb lye maker who wound up on the other side... big deal!

Well, except the lye maker was married to one of my best soldiers..

*sigh*

So I take off one of the flood gates, the lye maker escapes, and I set to rebuild the flood gate...

Except now everyone was at a party down below at the platinum statue garden...

IThe door never got rebuilt, and the first place that was hit by the flood?  Why the central staircase, of course!  Trapping most of my dwarves below ground.

I'll figure out how to save most of them... but seriously, the next dwarf on the wrong side of the new floodgate is a gonner.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: alway on October 24, 2009, 07:33:32 pm
Almost had a really big one today when my epic military dwarf nearly drowned. She dodged a goblin off into the water, and then proceeded to begin drowning. Luckily, she lived long enough for my miners to dig ramps up and out, and so she lived to fight another day. I would have been really upset if my legendary champion who has well over 300 kills drowned while chasing a goblin.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on October 24, 2009, 08:28:15 pm
I was remodeling part of the megastructure I was working on and carelessly designated a bunch of walls to be removed; forgot to do the corners first, so the dwarves deconstructed them in a less-than-ideal order.

Fortunately, the collapse didn't take any important scaffolding or a bit of the structure I was going to keep with it.

Unfortunately, this structure is hanging 90 z-levels above the ground.




Twenty seconds after the collapse, 14 dwarves hit the ground simultaneously.

EDIT: make that 15. Not sure what took that last one so long.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Quantum Toast on October 24, 2009, 09:00:48 pm
Quote from: Untelligent on October 24, 2009, 08:28:15 pm
EDIT: make that 15. Not sure what took that last one so long.
Urist McLemming cancels Fall: Dangerous Terrain
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on October 24, 2009, 09:08:16 pm
Oh, hey, here's a picture of the landing site.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The corpses appear to be primarily concentrated under the dead cat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Firnagzen on October 24, 2009, 09:54:02 pm
Wow, the splatters sure went a long way.

Your map looks interesting. Could you post it in VF? The mountain looks square, which is... odd.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on October 24, 2009, 10:03:24 pm
Quote from: Firnagzen on October 24, 2009, 09:54:02 pm
Your map looks interesting. Could you post it in VF?

I ain't done with it yet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Innominate on October 25, 2009, 03:41:59 am
Well I'm currently trying to block the bottom of my underground river - where it runs into a cylindrical chasm - with hatches and a bridge, so I can plug/unplug at will. Of course, the water is falling too fast for the buildings to be completed. So I decide to use pumps to sequester water temporarily and give the buildings time to be completed. I build a setup like this:
Code: [Select]
╔═══╗
║777║
╙XXX║
─xxx╜
....The ─ is the power-source axle, the 7 is the water dead-end, and the X is the impassable tile of the screw pump. Let me rephrase that. The X is supposed to be the impassable tile of the screw pump. I forgot to orient two of the pumps, and they defaulted to 'pump from north'. There wasn't anything there to pump, so that wasn't important. It just meant that my impassable tile suddenly wasn't. So I had a screw pump essentially funnelling water directly onto the 1-tile wide bridge across the underground river - and, as it happens, right before the chasm.

I lost a few haulers to that. Oh well, I learned my lesson, right?

So I deconstruct the pumps and rebuild them facing the right way. Only this time I forget to ensure that the leftmost pump is constructed last, so it turns on as my architect/mayor/trader is building the middle one. My mayor is swept into the river and survives the thronging lizardmen, drowning seconds before my miners made it to carve a ramp.

At least there's something very dwarfy about blood-red water falling 15 z-levels into a chasm.

EDIT: Oh yeah, main moral to the story: wait until you finish building the pumps before connecting them up to power.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on October 25, 2009, 06:44:21 am
got another one, let's just say it's thanks to this thread that my champion wrestlers are finally getting their training as hammer dorfs as initially intended...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Craftling on October 25, 2009, 05:41:36 pm
Quote from: Quantum Toast on October 24, 2009, 09:00:48 pm
Quote from: Untelligent on October 24, 2009, 08:28:15 pm
EDIT: make that 15. Not sure what took that last one so long.
Urist McLemming cancels Fall: Dangerous Terrain
Urist McLemming cancels Fall: Misplaced Item
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Particleman on October 25, 2009, 08:02:02 pm
When I realized why the well I had built underground near my bedrooms had overflowed and flooded about thirty of them.

Specifically, it was because I made a mistake with water pressure. I dug out an offshoot from the river and sent it down about fifteen levels to one level above the top level of my housing complex. I built a couple wells there in case anyone got injured and had to stay in bed for a while- anyone giving them water wouldn't have to walk all the way up to the surface to get it. I made some pillars in a pattern on about level -5, to depressurize the water, but I had somehow overlooked that the water was still going to be heading down another ten levels or so, and it would try to eqalize from the drop from level -5 to -15. So I managed to wall off the flooded bedrooms and had to set up a rather elaborate system to drain the offshoot I had dug from the river and dam that up, then mine out another channel at the bottom of the flooded bedrooms to bring the water to a stack of screw pumps so I could drain all that water back into the river. I never got that accomplished though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rijjka on November 11, 2009, 08:04:31 pm
Just had one now, finding out that I could click and drag my dig designations, rather then click them square by square.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on November 11, 2009, 08:10:34 pm
You can't do that. Ohh, you mean that. Yeah that works.  Too bad it only makes a line.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on November 11, 2009, 08:13:09 pm
PSst: Right click to put the X-cursor under the mouse in designation mode, guys.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on November 11, 2009, 08:45:07 pm
Never had a real facepalm moment I can recall, but I had a few "Dammit!" moments that might qualify.

Consider my first attempt at obsidian farming; I had a magma pipe on the surface, and decided therefore to build both a magma industry on the surface, and to use a channel from there to the magma portion of the farm, held back by a floodgate next to the industry. If that's not clear, I used my forge/glass/smelting area as a reservoir for the magma, stupid mistake number 1, and had the reservoir "controlled" way the hell away from the farm, stupid mistake two. I also had a murky pool next to the magma channel, and decided to use that as a substitute for the brook I planned to feed the water reservoir with. Foolish, but acceptable at the time. What's worse is that I did so by feeding the pool directly into the magma channel. This meant that a) it solidified the magma starting from the point where the magma fed in, creating an obsidian plug and preventing more water from getting down, and b) when I reopened the floodgate to allow the magma to run free, it solidified in the floodgate, blocking it open.

All in all, my first foray into obsidian farming was much Fun. I had a few other teething issues, mostly in the area of how long to leave the water going, but those weren't anywhere near as moronic.

There's also my aborted attempt at fish farming. I built a channel, blocked with a floodgate at the entrance and grates at the exit, to allow fish to come in but not out and air-drown them where they could be butchered without slaughtering my poor dwarves. In what might have been a clever course of action, I decided to have its outflow feed into the reservoir for my obsidian farm, which had another inflow, also from the river. When the reservoir was complete, but not the fish farm, I opened the floodgates and let the water rush in to fill the reservoir. I had foolishly forgotten the water pressure, and it roared through the reservoir, up the farm's outflow, and flooded it completely. Once again, Fun. Could have been worse, though; I'd been planning to feed the well from it also.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kyrus on November 11, 2009, 11:13:59 pm
*miners hit damp stone underground!* "Hey, water! Now I don't have to worry about making my own water reservoirs to collect water from the murky pools on the map before it all evaporates each summer!"

*digs a one tile channel for a well* "Man, this underground water reservoir sure is nice. Strange that it doesn't seem to count as an underground pool or anything, but hey, it's water conveniently placed around the upper right corner of the map, where all my main buildings are."

*several years later* "Yep, having this built-in reservoir of water sure is handy, especally since I've got a couple permanent invalids now who will never drink booze again. Wonder why it's not running out of water at all? Anyway, since this is just a pool or something(although I'm not able to grow tower caps or anything, how strange), I might as well dig under it already. It's not like my miners have anything else to do anymore."

*minerdorfs dig a couple squares, water starts flooding out. I frantically dig a bunch of channels to temporarily contain the water followed by a bunch of walls(and "Wimpydorf cancels construct building:submerged in an inch of water" messages) to permanently contain it(didn't lose anything but a couple workshops...and two babies of channel digging/wall building dwarfs who somehow dropped them down said channels)), and go do some wiki-reading to figure out what happened* "...hm, so apparently you can have an aquifer only on PART of the map and not be warned about it on embark if it's in a different biome from the rest of the map."


It's probably for the best that I learned that(and how to deal with sudden flooding) on my first fortress instead of in future forts in more dangerous areas.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Firnagzen on November 11, 2009, 11:57:02 pm
Quote from: CobaltKobold on November 11, 2009, 08:13:09 pm
PSst: Right click to put the X-cursor under the mouse in designation mode, guys.

Psst again. You might need to enable it in the init.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Weeaboo on November 11, 2009, 11:58:19 pm
After playing for a year on a fortress that i made. I realized that i didn't have an anvil when i started off.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Firnagzen on November 12, 2009, 12:08:48 am
Well, you can buy 'em from caravans.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Weeaboo on November 12, 2009, 01:19:12 am
Quote from: Firnagzen on November 12, 2009, 12:08:48 am
Well, you can buy 'em from caravans.

I had the stranded mod on... -_-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vidalis on November 12, 2009, 06:59:22 am
I started up a new castle at Dwarf Heaven and after initial setup worked my way around the aquafier and a few levels down to start the initial dwarven hall. Besides the hall and the sleeping quarters I created a mason shop with a few storage areas, each for each quality, to quickly see what I have in store. These storage areas were above and below the mason shop to minimize travel time. Many happy diggings later, smoothing sleeping quarters etc, I decided to add another level on storage area on top of the existing levels and there I was, back at the aquafier. Flood my castle. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Quantum Toast on November 12, 2009, 09:16:34 am
Wait, the mouse control option does do something?

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rijjka on November 12, 2009, 02:48:50 pm
Quote from: CobaltKobold on November 11, 2009, 08:13:09 pm
PSst: Right click to put the X-cursor under the mouse in designation mode, guys.

Not to run with a old gag... but.

Pssst! I know that!

I was using the click and drag because its easier for lines, and I wanted to shave away at a vien little by little, rather then cut away half the mountain side to get all of it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: skaltum on November 17, 2009, 05:54:46 pm
realising closed wooden doors catch fire T_T.

this happened in thunderforests my elven fort. twas vury fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vicomt on November 18, 2009, 09:30:51 am
realising I'd left adamantine unlocked as a non-economic stone 10 minutes after I restarted my catapult training area..... about 20-30 raw adamantine stones got thrown against walls  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rubberduck on November 18, 2009, 12:17:39 pm
My haulers have suddenly decided to show the countess who really makes the rules around my fortress. After her promotion from baroness I'm moving the countess into her new and improved quarters. As part of this, I'm deconstructing the furniture in her old quarters. All of which is masterwork stuff, of course. Suddenly I see one of the haulers tossing the cabinet he had been carrying off the dump point over my bottomless chasm. And the message pops up that a masterwork has been lost.

I scratch my head. Go back to the noble's quarters. Everything looks perfectly ordinary. Seems to be no reason why it happened. Maybe a glitch? I unpause and continue elsewhere. Then he receive the message that 3 more masterwork objects has been lost. This time they dumped the bed, a chest and a table. An uprising of the downtrodden!

Or maybe not. Turned out that I'd designated all the items in that area to be dumped, back when the place was filled with rocks. Hadn't considered that the constructed furniture would also be designated. *Face Palm*

Luckily my legendary mason has built so many masterwork items along the years that he doesn't seem to care the least if a couple of them got tossed into the pit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lawec on November 18, 2009, 12:52:45 pm
When I lost my entire fort because of I didn't want to leave puppies outside to be slaughtered by orcs  :'(
It really made me sad...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SomethingCreative on November 18, 2009, 01:28:25 pm
"Hm, this area is pretty heavily forested. Better build a paved road so the wagons can reach my depot."

The road hasn't been used in the ten game years since I built it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Euld on November 21, 2009, 07:47:43 pm
Learned today that blocks are not only useful for making megaconstructions since they can be stored in bins, but walls made of blocks are actually worth more.

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on November 21, 2009, 10:06:40 pm
I don't bother making megaconstructions out of blocks because blocks require the masonry skill and my masons are more helpful building things than carving the rocks into aesthetically pleasing cubes. Cubes seem like a rather elfy invention.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jay on November 21, 2009, 10:54:47 pm
Quote from: Untelligent on November 21, 2009, 10:06:40 pm
blocks require the masonry skill
Just set every dwarf to be a mason and profile the workshops you make other things in to only accept good masons.
Then make another (or multiple) workshop and set it to only accept "bad" masons.  Assign blockmaking to repeat on these.
Eventually every single dwarf will be a good mason, but is that a problem?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on November 22, 2009, 12:18:13 am
Quote from: jaybud4 on November 21, 2009, 10:54:47 pm
Quote from: Untelligent on November 21, 2009, 10:06:40 pm
blocks require the masonry skill
Just set every dwarf to be a mason and profile the workshops you make other things in to only accept good masons.
Then make another (or multiple) workshop and set it to only accept "bad" masons.  Assign blockmaking to repeat on these.
Eventually every single dwarf will be a good mason, but is that a problem?
Agreed. I set "training" workshops to be usable only by the less-competent dwarves and have them crank out crap products using crap materials. Mechanics and masons produce blocks and non-bauxite mechanisms, glass furnaces produce raw green glass, miners dig through bulk stone, etc, etc. Extremely useful in terms of economic production and pre-military skill-ups.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on November 22, 2009, 12:32:49 am
The main problem with this solution is, there's nothing keeping the good masons from building the walls.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on November 22, 2009, 12:46:13 am
Quote from: CobaltKobold on November 22, 2009, 12:32:49 am
The main problem with this solution is, there's nothing keeping the good masons from building the walls.

well... they'd be building the walls anyway, so now there's a chance that they aren't the ones that build the walls because there are apprentice masons that might do the work instead...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Weeaboo on November 22, 2009, 01:21:28 am
I built a windmill operated pump. it froze. i sat there for about half an hour and built and rebuilt it tons of time. i realized it was winter. i facepalmed. it hurt too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on November 22, 2009, 07:20:21 am
Quote from: Euld on November 21, 2009, 07:47:43 pm
but walls made of blocks are actually worth more.

I think that's only true when comparing to unengraved walls (or perhaps shoddily engraved ones).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on November 22, 2009, 09:58:53 am
COnstructed walls can't be engraved, and he was referring to megaprojects, which are constructed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on November 22, 2009, 10:15:28 am
Quote from: Lord Shonus on November 22, 2009, 09:58:53 am
COnstructed walls can't be engraved,

Which is exactly why I posted what I posted, i.e. that a "natural" wall will still usually end up more valuable than block one.

Quote from: Lord Shonus on November 22, 2009, 09:58:53 am
and he was referring to megaprojects

He claimed they were useful outside of said megaprojects, because of their value, with which I only partially agree.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewoTigra on November 22, 2009, 12:21:51 pm
So far this week I have had two forts crumble due to negligence, and one prematurely ended due to poor planning.

the first time I had a nice little fort set up, a bear breeding + training area, and a complicated series of pits and drawbridges to release trained bears against attackers1.

During one siege a single migrant fisherdwarf managed to get locked outside. He wasn't being bothered by the siegers so I dropped some supplies to him via the bear release pit and had him start building a Microline2 tower with a moat and an underground dining area + farm plot / food storage3.

I was finishing off the moat + drawbridge when I saw a purple announcement at the bottom of the screen.
Urist McLegendaryWeaponsmith has died of thirst.
I was so busy building the tower I had forgotten to order my cooks to brew more booze. Appropriately enough they both died before they could brew anything. It turns out those three dwarves were super-popular, and the fort soon destroyed itself via Tantrum spiral. Well, that and lack of booze as everyone was too busy tantrumming to brew any.

Eventually just the fisherdwarf in his Microline tower remained. Then a carp swam into the moat as he was fishing.4
*HeadDesk*

Fort #2 died because I left them with a well over the local river (walled off for safety) and then went to have lunch while they built the megaproject. They ran out of booze and the river froze over during winter, deconstructing the well.
I can back to a "Your fortress has crumbled to its' end" message. I facepalmed.

For Fort #3 I was digging out an entrance next to the ocean, and poor channelling caused part of the roof to collapse. The dust knocked all six miners into the sea, where they drowned. Sort of a 'rocks fall, everybody drowns' moment. The remaining dwarf suicided shortly after seeing all his friends sink to their deaths.

1:what? I managed to get several breeding pairs. Besides, Bear Military.
2:To blind anyone trying to attack it.
3: So it would be self-sustained via fishing and farming.
4:I'm actually somewhat amazed that they didn't get him sooner, as he was digging the moat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Roland on November 22, 2009, 02:54:41 pm
This one is just stupidity on my part. I had a really nice fortress going (my second; my first one died because I didn't know what I was doing) and after several years of boring (not that killing every noble that arrives is boring, but they don't come that often) I decided to abandon the fortress and create a new one somewhere else. I failed at that, having had a really good location for my abandoned fortress, and decided to return and reclaim my old one. Little did I know that abandoning apparently means dwarves running around throwing your most valuable goods in every direction. I am still cleaning up, and it's been 3 years.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheStratovarian on November 23, 2009, 10:07:07 am
In a new game, and a real surprise to me. Im pretty new to this, but learning as i play. Today, I had a very nice setup, even found some adamantium very early though deep digging, and lost it. When in creating the first squad, even armoring them with a bit of steel armor, and giving them weapons to train, i finally see as i turn the 2nd migrant wave group (the first usually drops 10-20 guys, the second usually takes me to 50 dwarves) to some soldiering, and see three death messages, but only having two soldiers, i wonder, and get to see they killed each other, and the mayor through bleeding to death. the death spiral, after my miners got through, well, none could have been a match for two near legendary ones and a pick. I just abandoned after that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendus on November 23, 2009, 04:24:58 pm
Embarked in a mountain biome. I'm usually not a big fan of mountain forts, but this one was fairly flat, so it's more like a mountain built on a plain-type environment.

My first mistake was in only bringing about 20 logs. Considering that I was playing with Dig Deeper but orcs modded to be trappable (actually, they weren't, I intended to give them the goblin's siege triggers and the goblins their siege trigger, but it completely failed so I made them trappable) and intended to capture scores of them for a megaproject, I had no wood and not enough dwarves to set up a glassmaking industry. I just barely got by with copper cages.

My second mistake was in not setting up a good well early in the game. After a personal record breaking immigration wave (35 or so dwarves, frakkin ridiculous) I was struggling so hard for food that I nearly forgot about water. Since this was a mountain next to a desert, the only water was in the UG river, and since my only farm was a pitiful thing dug into a small nook of sand on the mountains edge, I didn't even have enough plump helmets to eat much less brew. Fortunately, this crisis occurred right after I flooded my tower cap farm, so one of the herbalists I received was able to quickly find some pig tails for my moody clothier (first time I've EVER seen a dwarf demand plant fiber cloth, they always want silk) and a good mix of processable and edible plants. In addition, the magma dam I used to set up my flooder (which works great, diverts the entire UG river into a tower cap farm for very quick flooding) had a side effect of creating an underwater obsidian wall that seems to screw with the river-dwellers pathing and keeps them from entering the southern half of that tier of the river, so I was able to access water and even build a nice well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Maulrus on November 23, 2009, 09:22:40 pm
I spent twenty minutes looking on a rather bland world I genned for a suitable location to start my first fort in months. I start it up, dig for a while, see that there are some fish in the river. "Damn, I wish I'd brought some fisherdwarvers."

Well, I forgot two things.

1. Breweries are essential for dwarves. Without them, they'll go to the river for water.
2. CARP SO MANY CARP OH GOD BLOOD EVERYWHERE

All my dwarves are now dead.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendus on November 28, 2009, 10:05:48 pm
Spent half an hour wondering why my dwarves weren't butchering kittens. Finally realized that after a frogman siege (pathetic siege, even in force they're pitiful enemies) I forgot to let my dwarves outside. Dwarves were walking around thirsty because, due to the Dig Deeper plants, I ran out of booze and they couldn't reach my wells. Giant facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skooma on November 28, 2009, 10:28:42 pm
Quote from: SomethingCreative on November 18, 2009, 01:28:25 pm
"Hm, this area is pretty heavily forested. Better build a paved road so the wagons can reach my depot."

The road hasn't been used in the ten game years since I built it.

I built a bypass through a mountain just for caravans.


Caravans never used it, but an ambush did.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Julius Clonkus on November 30, 2009, 02:06:08 pm
(http://img686.imageshack.us/img686/2425/lolwut.png)
This tops the amount of STUPID my fortresses have ever witnessed so far. That being said, I was concerned about my dwarves' mental state. But I'm happy to see they are the lazy bastards I was promised. Especially when they're named after one of your buddies.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Euld on November 30, 2009, 04:38:47 pm
Embarked on a volcanic island in an ocean with two aquifers.  Knowing it would be difficult (but rewarding, <3 glass) I forgot that although miners start with picks, woodcutters don't start with axes.  Then I preceeded to use all my wood for beds, ran out, and realized what I did.  Did control alt delete so I wouldn't have to wait until fall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on November 30, 2009, 04:46:06 pm
Quote from: Euld on November 30, 2009, 04:38:47 pm
I forgot that although miners start with picks

Excuse me? I'm pretty sure you have to pay for picks yourself.

EDIT: And even if not, you might as well. Copper picks only cost 20 DB, and spending embark points on the mining skill is a waste, seeing how miners become legendary in no time without them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on November 30, 2009, 05:36:20 pm
Quote from: assimilateur on November 30, 2009, 04:46:06 pm
Quote from: Euld on November 30, 2009, 04:38:47 pm
I forgot that although miners start with picks

Excuse me? I'm pretty sure you have to pay for picks yourself.

EDIT: And even if not, you might as well. Copper picks only cost 20 DB, and spending embark points on the mining skill is a waste, seeing how miners become legendary in no time without them.
AFAIK, that is correct. The only free equipment you get, aside from clothes, is if the dwarf is an ambusher, in which case they get armour, crossbow, and bolts for free. And yes, I always spend the points on miner/woodcutter skills. I'm beginning to think I should spend those points on the hard to raise skills and simply designate dwarves for certain jobs.

Edit: Can probably call this my most recent face-palm moment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: XSI on November 30, 2009, 05:49:13 pm
I had another face palm moment a while back, and forgot to check a dwarf's preferences before assigning him to get the social stats/expedition leader.

He liked cats, adamantine, crystal glass, and bismuth.

I'm playing the fort with the hammerer locked up nice and tightly in his cozy bedroom with ceiling hole for food.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on November 30, 2009, 06:39:45 pm
Quote from: XSI on November 30, 2009, 05:49:13 pm
I had another face palm moment a while back, and forgot to check a dwarf's preferences before assigning him to get the social stats/expedition leader.

He liked cats, adamantine, crystal glass, and bismuth.

I'm playing the fort with the hammerer locked up nice and tightly in his cozy bedroom with ceiling hole for food.
I keep seeing people do that, and I don't know how to do it. How do you throw food down a hole like that? Pits don't work, stockpiles can't be set up on bridges, and dumping it would probably not bring food/drink alone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NecroRebel on November 30, 2009, 06:46:55 pm
You drop things down a hole by making a garbage dump zone over the hole, switching off all of your other garbage dump zones, removing the dump designation from items you don't want to give to the 'prisoners,' and then designating that which you do want to give to them for dumping.

In the alternative, you could make a stockpile on the edge of the hole, then use water to push items in. That method is more complicated, more difficult to set up, less reliable, and more dangerous, however it also requires less micromanagement, so it may be dwarfy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on November 30, 2009, 07:32:40 pm
I have yet to try anything like that, but I don't see why it wouldn't work to dump food and drink through a hole. Only problem I see is possible spoilage, and I'm wondering whether or not designating a food stockpile under the hole would remedy that.

Other than that, using an airlock seems like a viable way of feeding a prisoner.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: INSANEcyborg on November 30, 2009, 09:49:51 pm
Had a map that encircled a lake.  The plan was to drain it, build a glass fort in it, then refill it.  To help refill it, I built I giant reservoir.  It was about 30x20 and 5 z levels tall. 

Problem one was I built it too soon.  There was an aquifer, and since the surrounding area was heavy forest, I built it out of wood.  But the map had no magma and I ran out of wood making clear glass blocks.  The caravans weren't bringing wood either, I think it was because they didn't count the logs as being used and thought I had plenty in stock.  So I had to tear it down.

Problem two was I filled it too soon.  I had attached a side room with a bridge to the bottom.   I was going to breach the wall and between the bridge and reservoir and drain it by atom smashing the water.    Now, I knew about water pressure, so I built a roof over the room and a series of doors to act as an airlock.  What I forgot to do was to go back and put a roof over the doors.   When the wall was removed...  well, it was basically a giant, blue explosion that covered the screen in less than a second. 

The real face palm moment though, was if I had the bridge raised at the time, the water would have gone though a diagonal and lost its pressure.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Qloos on November 30, 2009, 10:13:57 pm
My fey mood dwarf wanted silk.  I had a choice between cave spider size: regular and giant.  Guess which one I chose. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: quinnr on December 01, 2009, 01:39:45 pm
On my second fort I built so many traps for teh goblins...and a huge water filled moat too.. Guess what civ is not on the civ screen? I'll could ever get was kobold theives.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Danjen on December 03, 2009, 09:45:02 am
I tried to create an icy world with parameters. Setting the temperature to -20 with no variance and embarking results in flash-frozen dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendus on December 03, 2009, 12:41:04 pm
Realized that I had drafted my farmer. After he had reached elite wrestler.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: wagawaga on December 03, 2009, 03:29:54 pm
Built a swimming pool and a drowning chamber, then confused the levers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Qwernt on December 03, 2009, 04:10:43 pm
After building about 10,000 blocks of my pyramid, I realized that I did a 10x10 second in the wrong color on the covered second floor.  No problem, I can just colapse it, hurt who ever pull the last board, but with all these dwarves, no problem... right?

Did you know that if you colapse a large section over the main part of you fortress, where you have cleared MANY floors, including your kitchens, dining rooms, work shops, etc that the falling stuff will make a VERY large hole right to the bottom dug out space?  Taking with it all the lazy dwarves who are haing out in the dining room...

Yeah, I save scummed... still have thousands of blocks to place but I wasn't going to start over, nor was I going to survive the death spiral that was bound to happen.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendus on December 03, 2009, 11:55:48 pm
Cave ins... *shudder*... so easy to forget about them with DF's faulty physics.

Just had a new one. Didn't realize I made one too few warhammers for my hammerdwarves to train with. One of my raw recruits grabbed a crucible steel one from a dead orc. Luckily, I realized this when I started getting "Cannot bring water: needs bucket" spam from the two broken bones he'd inflicted. No deaths, no spinal injuries, just two laid up recruits. He's using copper again, wish there was a way to force him to only spar with his own squad, they're at least wearing steel chain armor instead of leather.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: freeze on December 04, 2009, 12:06:32 am
Had a nice big fort with around 110 pop. Food/cloth and steel industries were up to speed and I was really getting going on my massive underground construction projects. A fire got into the fort via the caravan and started right in my main stockpile room! My previous save was about 4-5 hours old. Waah! 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Euld on December 04, 2009, 01:08:15 am
A handful of years into my evil volcanic island fortress of doom, my weapon/armor smith, nicknamed Link, goes into a mood.  "Awesome!" I think to myself, he's one of my original seven and it's about time I got someone to really work that magma besides those glassworking sissies.  He gathers stone, iron bars, leather, wood, a gem, then stops.  He wants cloth, and I don't have any. (First facepalm.)  I nearly had some, but the last dwarf caravan was apparently so offended by my offer of 20,000 dwarfbucks in obsidian trinkets in exchange for food, booze, and cloth that they left immediately.  Nearly tore down the Depot in disgust, then thought better of it.  (Flashback facepalm.)

I checked if I still had pig tails from last season, turns out they were all made into ale.  (Third facepalm.)  I had already saved after Link began his mood too (fourth facepalm.)  I wanted to plant more pig tails, except it was winter, and I couldn't plant them again until summer (fifth facepalm.)  I nearly ordered my dwarves to begin building a wall around the guy, then I think "I'll just assign some war dogs to the guy then do a forbid/unforbid dance with all the stuff he's gathered."  And it works.  I manage to keep the guy alive for two seasons.  As far as I noticed, he didn't eat or drink the entire time, not even booze.  Finally, when summer hit, I built a loom, grew the pig tails, ordered the cloth made, and watched as the first cloth that rolls off is cave spider cloth, made from thread I got from the caravan before last. (sixth facepalm.)

Link nabs the cave spider cloth (thank goodness), then preceeds to make a iron right gauntleft.  (seventh facepalm.)  Well, at least I have a legendary armorsmith now.

Oh yeah, I also have a Zelda and Ganondwarf :).  Zelda is a legendary mason, Ganondwarf is a legendary woodcrafter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on December 04, 2009, 01:10:05 am
What, no gold for the Triforce?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fist_Of_Armok on December 04, 2009, 01:22:31 am
My favorite fortress is one of the early 40d variants, named Thobtishak. IIRC, that means ShipKillers or ShipArdent; I was inspired by BoatMurdered, as were so many of us.

Anyway, I'd been avoiding Thobtishak for a while due to OH GOD GOBLINS. I finally reopen it, and spend a while having my team of six legendary miners dig about, training others, et al.

Finally, I get to the point where I can't really do anything else; my tower is getting pretty tall, but I've run out of wood to make beds, can't find any more lignite to burn into coke, and the remainder of the areas I wanted to dig out were all boundary walls to the outside.

My military was smaller than it might have been, but nevertheless a force to be reckoned with. I take my most promising (read: any) Recruits, put them under whichever soldier has kills to their name, and build a set of airlocks so that any gobbos that might get past them wouldn't get any farther than my trap-filled entrance hall.

By the time my squad of dorfs get outside, I notice the goblins have left. Confused, I look up-and notice that the Siege tag is gone.

While I'd been preparing, the goblins had evidently decided "screw this" and left, the whole shebang of them heading to the north.

They killed four of my favorite Masons and one of said masons' kids. I'm kinda pissed that my dorfs didn't get revenge.

Thankfully, a Human caravan showed up to ease my frustration a bit, and there was still a great variety of wonderful things from the Goblins. My remaining Masons set to work building the things I'd designated while waiting for the gobbos to leave, and I relaxed.

I need to get enough old computers to finish my Beowulf Cluster so I can PROPERLY flood Thobtishak's Primary Farming Complex. Half-muddied, it has nine full-size farms; fully muddied, I'd be able to clean out the caravans even more thoroughly than I do already!

For an idea, have a look below-even though it's been expanded since.

(http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd189/BengalRegal/Dwarf%20Fortress/ThobtishakPrimaryFarmingComplex.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: quinnr on December 04, 2009, 03:00:41 am
I was worried about some Rhesus Macaque, but they were killed for me! BY CARP!

OH GAWD TEH BLOOD IS EVERYWHERE....now I just have to make sure my dwarves have enough booze, or they will go to the river.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Quantum Toast on December 04, 2009, 11:03:57 am
Quote from: Euld on December 04, 2009, 01:08:15 am
Link nabs the cave spider cloth (thank goodness), then preceeds to make a iron right gauntleft.  (seventh facepalm.)  Well, at least I have a legendary armorsmith now.
Now he can pick up rocks! :D

...wait. :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on December 04, 2009, 11:32:13 am
Quote from: Euld on December 04, 2009, 01:08:15 am
"I'll just assign some war dogs to the guy then do a forbid/unforbid dance with all the stuff he's gathered."  And it works.

Can you explain how you pulled that off? I have no idea how you could prolong his mood once he started working. Not to mention, that I never would have guessed that it was possible to begin work on an artifact before gathering all the ingredients...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lemunde on December 04, 2009, 02:25:36 pm
Probably my biggest facepalm moment: "Aluminum ore?  Well that's useless..."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendus on December 04, 2009, 02:30:00 pm
Quote from: assimilateur on December 04, 2009, 11:32:13 am
Quote from: Euld on December 04, 2009, 01:08:15 am
"I'll just assign some war dogs to the guy then do a forbid/unforbid dance with all the stuff he's gathered."  And it works.

Can you explain how you pulled that off? I have no idea how you could prolong his mood once he started working. Not to mention, that I never would have guessed that it was possible to begin work on an artifact before gathering all the ingredients...

He didn't begin working. If, while he's gathering ingredients, you forbid one of the ones he's chosen, he'll just go grab a new one. If you repeatedly forbid a material, and make him "dance" between the workshop and stockpile, he'll do this indefinitely as it has some effect on the insanity timer.

Don't try this while they're working though, pretty sure it fails the mood and drives them insta-mad. Though it might be a good way to kill those damn stonecrafter moods...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Euld on December 04, 2009, 02:57:44 pm
Quote from: CobaltKobold on December 04, 2009, 01:10:05 am
What, no gold for the Triforce?
Oh that's right, that would have been awesome.  Actually I did have some gold that I hadn't smelted... aluminum too... /facepalm  Oh well the thing is 60,000 dwarfbucks, after four artifacts that never broke 10,000 (Ganondorf's maple crown sucked, Zelda's quern was actually 76,800) I'm just happy Link didn't go insane xD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on December 04, 2009, 03:00:27 pm
Quote from: Grendus on December 04, 2009, 02:30:00 pm
Don't try this while they're working though, pretty sure it fails the mood and drives them insta-mad. Though it might be a good way to kill those damn stonecrafter moods...

I did this by accident, and ended up with an artifact composed entirely of some odd substance (I think is was toadskin). None of the gathered ingredients got used, because I forbid them. No new ones were gathered because he was already working.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kyronea on December 04, 2009, 03:15:32 pm
All my dwarfs are half dehydrated because, despite having two stills set up, I somehow forgot to set the brew drink-repeat orders. -_-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendus on December 04, 2009, 03:30:10 pm
BTW, if you have a brook far away from your fort and your FPS drops, you're out of booze. That FPS drop is your dwarves pathing to the brook. Worse is when your soldiers do it, because the underlings spam pathfinding to catch up to their leader. I've gone from 75 to 20 fps that way, then got it all back once I managed to install three wells in my fortress during a food crisis.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: quinnr on December 04, 2009, 03:53:27 pm
Quote from: Grendus on December 04, 2009, 03:30:10 pm
BTW, if you have a brook far away from your fort and your FPS drops, you're out of booze. That FPS drop is your dwarves pathing to the brook. Worse is when your soldiers do it, because the underlings spam pathfinding to catch up to their leader. I've gone from 75 to 20 fps that way, then got it all back once I managed to install three wells in my fortress during a food crisis.
That improves my FPS...some carp ate them all. OH THE BLOOD!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: slink on December 04, 2009, 03:56:24 pm
My latest facepalm moment was this one. 

I had embarked on a 3x3 with a magma pipe and an underground pool.  I had built my centrally located circular tower for my Dwarves, and then set about to access the magma pipe.  In Visual Fortress the magma pipe appeared to reach the surface but it was not visible in the game.  I used Stonesense 3-D Visualizer to sneak up on it from the side, then dug a one-tile channel from the top in order to reveal it.  It was visually revealed, but I got no notice.

I spent probably an hour trying to find out what had gone wrong.  I even regenerated the world and embarked over again, touching the fortress site with no utilities at all and digging the channel before I did anything else.  Still the magma pipe was not announced when it was revealed.

Eventually I turned to the forum, and searched for anyone else having the same problem.  I found one thread, and in one of the last posts someone asked the OP if they could build magma furnaces and forges.  If so, they said, don't worry about the missing announcement.

I checked my original fortress, the one which I had looked at with all sorts of utilities, and I could indeed build magma furnaces and forges.  My problem was non-existant after all.  Duh...   :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deimos56 on December 04, 2009, 04:58:22 pm
Quote from: Kyronea on December 04, 2009, 03:15:32 pm
All my dwarfs are half dehydrated because, despite having two stills set up, I somehow forgot to set the brew drink-repeat orders. -_-
You sure you forgot? Check the announcement log for something to the effect of "Urist Mcdrunk cancels brew drink: Needs barrel" or "Needs brewable plant item". That cancels the brew order. Even on repeat. Frequently happens when the stuff they want is being interacted with (read: eaten, moved to a stockpile, etc).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Farce on December 04, 2009, 05:16:07 pm
In my second fort ever I dug down and made a pond for a well much higher up.

But, I forgot to close the floodgate for it, and accidentally flooded my lowest level.  The emergency shut down lever was ON that level, too - so it was flooded and also inaccessible.

I only lost that one level, though.  Nothing particularly valuable was lost, but I'm pretty sure I abandoned anyway.

I'm pretty sure I thought that putting it there was a bad idea... but, IIRC, I decided "it looks cool here, so here it goes".

There was also a time I tunneled very far down with my gate, and my stairs took me pretty much all the way to the edge of the map.  I couldn't expand southwards, so whatever plans I'd had weren't possible.

Other than that I can't recall anything.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on December 04, 2009, 06:01:18 pm
Quote from: Grendus on December 04, 2009, 02:30:00 pm
Though it might be a good way to kill those damn stonecrafter moods...


Do unsuccessful moods count towards your mood limit (assuming there even is one, I'm a little hazy on the exact factors for getting a mood)?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on December 04, 2009, 08:31:45 pm
Quote from: assimilateur on December 04, 2009, 06:01:18 pm
Quote from: Grendus on December 04, 2009, 02:30:00 pm
Though it might be a good way to kill those damn stonecrafter moods...


Do unsuccessful moods count towards your mood limit (assuming there even is one, I'm a little hazy on the exact factors for getting a mood)?

Nope, it will keep rolling until the mood succeeds. Sometimes if you have a large surge of wealth or whatever else, you could get a mood very soon after the previous one fails. The mood roll usually waits until after the current failed mood dwarf dies, but not always.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendus on December 04, 2009, 10:16:53 pm
Modded Talc to melt at 10000 so it would melt in the magma (Dig Deeper apparently made it magma proof). Instantly melted all the talc in the fortress. Fortunately, it just liquified, it didn't the the mass freeze thing I've heard of. It also gave me back about 5 FPS or so, lots of damn talc here.

As a side note, what temperature should I set it to so it melts in the magma, not on the ground?

Edit: and another. Realized somehow I magma dumped the cage with all my young horses and other animals. Scrolling up, there's about 12 "has died in the heat" messages all at once. This fortress is becoming funtm fast.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on December 05, 2009, 03:07:14 am
Quote from: Grendus on December 04, 2009, 10:16:53 pm
As a side note, what temperature should I set it to so it melts in the magma, not on the ground?

http://dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Magma_safe
http://dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Temperature_scale

magma has a temperature of 12,000 in dwarf scale, water freezes/ice melts at 10,000  in dwarf scale, most stone melts at 11,500 in dwarf scale... dwarf body temp is 10,067

anything above 10,100 should be fine... that's about 132 Fahrenheit
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TwilightWalker on December 05, 2009, 03:44:29 am
Was getting tired of having my masons build me chairs, statues and the like out of all sorts of differently colored stone, so I went to the stocks screen and forbid every rock in existence except for the carp-load of gabbro I had lying around.

What I learned soon afterward is that if you forbid all of an instance of stone, say, Felsite, you also forbid EVERY SINGLE BUILDING that's made out of that stone. I was going insane wondering why my recruit's weren't training and my dwarfs weren't working in their workshops before I figured it out.
Title: Fun with indoor pools
Post by: Safe-Keeper on December 05, 2009, 05:47:35 am
My second worst facepalm moment came when I came under siege and ordered every ballista at my fortress (seven or so in total) to fire at will, naively assuming this meant they'd fire when they had an enemy in their sight. Not so.

My next, and biggest, face palm moment came when I had dug a deep shaft under a pond (with many, many cave-ins, wounded dwarves and casualties, hey, this was my first go at this!) and realized, after basically digging away the pond and leaving a rectangular hole where it used to be, that when you dig away ponds, you don't get water accumulation any more from rainfall on those tiles. OK, I think, so I'll build an awesome system where an underground channel connects the pool to the resident river. When I pull a lever, the door at the end of the channel opens, sending water cascading through the channel and plummeting in an awesome waterfall down into the pool several floors down. Turn the lever again, and the door shuts on the water.

Now, at this point I'd learned something about water and flood risk. I'd flooded small sections of another fortress already, so I took precautions - I put floor tiles over the channel to keep water from running its borders and since I didn't want dwarves sucked in by the torrent of water (why I was worried about this when I had covered the opening in the floor by grates is beyond me :-\ ), I made the cut into the river diagonally from above the channel. Of course this would make water come flooding in, but I had a series of walls set for construction that would keep this leakage out.

Not. I had underestimated, greatly, the power of the water that would come flowing in. Immediately the tile next to the door was getting a torrent of 5/7 water, construction of the walls became impossible, I realized the torrent couldn't be stopped, and all I could do was build two doors to stop the flood from claiming the whole fortress.

(http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r292/safe-keeper/th_Reservoir10.jpg)

End result: entire shaft flooded up to the level of the river, room with the door flooded to 7/7. Had I not put in the layers of safety precautions, primarily doors blocking the shaft from the rest of the fortress, my whole fortress could easily been lost. But the nightmare still wasn't over - another dwarf managed to drown himself by opening the door (sending a torrent of water into my Workshop Level that it took quite a while and a new drain to get rid of), entering the flooded pool, shutting the door behind him, and only then realizing that the damned shaft was full of water.

But no, the cursed pool of death was not done claiming lives. I had made the best out of my situation by making the edge of the pool a statue garden and designating it as a drinking and fishing area. My dwarves loved the idyllic surroundings and seemed to have forgiven me for my big mess-up... that is, until a goblin siege arrived, I ordered everyone inside, and the goblin archers took up position on the surface at the edge of the shaft and gleefully opened fire on the dwarves taking refuge below them. Result, at least two more dead.

I now plan to reclaim the shaft by diverting the channel into the neighbourhood magma pipe, for then to pump the water out of the shaft somehow. Knowing my success so far right, I'll probably not succeed without partially flooding a floor, caving in several tiles, and leaving more miners bed-ridden or in coffins.


(edit) Had another one just now. I'm having my ballista/catapult crews fire practice shots, and valiantly scanned the wilderness to ensure no one would get hit by the arrows and rocks I fired. No prob, even though a couple animals and disturbingly many dwarves I didn't spot for whatever reason came only a tile or three from being skewered by projectiles.

Disaster struck when I after many successful catapult shots ordered my first ballista to fire. Scanned countryside, countryside clear. Fired ballista, insta-killed ballista operator's pet cow, who was hanging out with his/her owner inside the pillbox, in front of the ballista.

Future versions could perhaps give me a "[Artillery crewman] suspends/cancels Fire Ballista: too high friendly fire risk".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on December 05, 2009, 10:18:23 am
I accidentally killed a cat with catapult fire instead of the peasant I was aiming at once. I really needed that cat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Foa on December 05, 2009, 11:46:08 am
My self destruct ( purge ) system worked really well, in fact I was so amazed that I forgot it was over the meeting hall, I only knew what hit me when the fort collapsed screen alight my screen.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fist_Of_Armok on December 05, 2009, 07:49:13 pm
Quote from: Fist_Of_Armok on December 04, 2009, 01:22:31 am
My favorite fortress is one of the early 40d variants, named Thobtishak-GirderTyphoons.

Anyway, I'd been avoiding Thobtishak for a while due to OH GOD GOBLINS. I finally reopen it, and spend a while having my team of six legendary miners dig about, training others, et al.

Finally, I get to the point where I can't really do anything else; my tower is getting pretty tall, but I've run out of wood to make beds, can't find any more lignite to burn into coke, and the remainder of the areas I wanted to dig out were all boundary walls to the outside.

My military was smaller than it might have been, but nevertheless a force to be reckoned with. I take my most promising (read: any) Recruits, put them under whichever soldier has kills to their name, and build a set of airlocks so that any gobbos that might get past them wouldn't get any farther than my trap-filled entrance hall.

By the time my squad of dorfs get outside, I notice the goblins have left. Confused, I look up-and notice that the Siege tag is gone.

While I'd been preparing, the goblins had evidently decided "screw this" and left, the whole shebang of them heading to the north.

They killed four of my favorite Masons and one of said masons' kids. I'm kinda pissed that my dorfs didn't get revenge.

Thankfully, a Human caravan showed up to ease my frustration a bit, and there was still a great variety of wonderful things from the Goblins. My remaining Masons set to work building the things I'd designated while waiting for the gobbos to leave, and I relaxed.

I need to get enough old computers to finish my Beowulf Cluster so I can PROPERLY flood Thobtishak's Primary Farming Complex. Half-muddied, it has nine full-size farms; fully muddied, I'd be able to clean out the caravans even more thoroughly than I do already!

For an idea, have a look below-even though it's been expanded since.

(http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd189/BengalRegal/Dwarf%20Fortress/ThobtishakPrimaryFarmingComplex.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on December 05, 2009, 07:59:00 pm
I take it you accidentally hit "quote" instead of "modify?"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: silhouette on December 06, 2009, 04:08:49 am
Quote from: salttotart on April 21, 2009, 07:41:04 pm
Le snip~
We interupt this topic to bring you this breaking news!

I freaking love your avatar.
That is all.

We now resume your scheduled topic.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JoystickHero on December 06, 2009, 06:45:42 pm
Just pressed 'n' on the Embark screen for the first time. Ever. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: o_O[WTFace] on December 07, 2009, 12:20:43 am
Once when I was very new I embarked between a waterfall and a magma pipe that were nearly both visible at the same time.  I decided to build an obidian spire of doom suspended directly above the magma.  For some reason I assumed pipe magma was hot enough to just perpetually re melt obsidian so the first thing I did was drain the river strait into the magma pipe to permanently encase the whole place in mist.  The top of the pipe froze over but not before a miner fell in and melted, then the world flooded, my FPS drpped waaayyy down and I abandoned.

 I reimbarked with a ton of dorfs and limited space space and alcohal so it took a while to set up a proper base for them.  After that I figured I would just collapse floors and dump stones into the river until it was dammed off, but that of course didn't work and wasted alot of time. 

Then I tried to open up the little waterworks so much that I could build floodgates in the shallow water and then close them.  That worked partially but invaders killed some people and caused delays and at some point I had to pitch some useless unhappy dorfs into the river.  I got a few floodgates in place but at some point the whole canyon/depression thing I was in flooded so much the whole area around the river diversion was inaccesable while the rest of it was becoming a huge lake and just killing my FPS.

 I finally decided on a last ditch effort to pilliage the next caravan and make/get enough picks to mine out most of a Z level and just drain everything down there so workers could go in, seal the holes in the river and clean up the huge mess I made.  Before that happened tantrums started happening so I unforbided everything and hoped they would go collect socks and junk until they were happy, but basically that caused everything to shut down as everyone started pathing all the way around my gigantic lake to go grab stuff. 

To provide food I sent a swarm of dorfs to go hunt everything on the map but oops, I had disarmed everybody at some point to reduce the tantrum fatality rate and so they wrestled with elks and that caused some death and unhappyness.  Somehow (tantrum?) the front doors got stuck open by rocks and clothes and the only entrances flooded.  Most dorfs got stuck on this big hill in the middle of the lake in the rain and just mass tantrumed and butchered each other with picks.  One long facepalm after another but I learned that water and magma are srs bizness and planning is required.   
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Foa on December 07, 2009, 12:27:34 am
My latest fort, there were three fires, the fist killed four, and to beasts of burden, the second killed two, the third destroyed the food, drink, the barrels, and the wagon.

I could have prevented the deaths if I drafted them and made the run to the other side of the brook instead of going through the fire to the meeting haul.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hobbie on December 09, 2009, 02:51:58 pm
First death on my new fortress was a baby falling down a soon-to-be well.

T_T
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on December 09, 2009, 09:28:48 pm
Got a doozy. I found a nice place to live, magma, river, multiple layers composed almost entirely of obsidian. Would be nice place to set up shop. As is my custom, I used a saved profile, intended to make my own weapons; bring three bauxite and at least three tower-cap logs, since I've modded steel to be free of charge and fuel. My chosen home civ lacks bauxite, so I did without for the moment, and chose to replace the bauxite with extra wood and food. Immediately upon embarkation I realized that I had neither stone to build metalworking with, nor pick to obtain stone with, nor even material to mod to fire-safety.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Dakoth on December 09, 2009, 09:34:55 pm
Quote from: Lord Shonus on December 05, 2009, 10:18:23 am
I accidentally killed a cat with catapult fire instead of the peasant I was aiming at once. I really needed that cat.

Silly Shonus, catapults don't hurt dorfs!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fist_Of_Armok on December 10, 2009, 12:31:51 am
Quote from: Hobbie on December 09, 2009, 02:51:58 pm
First death on my new fortress was a baby falling down a soon-to-be well.

T_T

Its parents probably died. They tend to suicide if their folks die.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hagadorn on December 10, 2009, 06:43:13 am
Just whinged about why my dorfs had stopped eating plant matter and starving...

Then remembered, I edited the creature entry to make them carnivous...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mareck on December 10, 2009, 06:45:57 am
Saw a group of dwarves running towards my fort.
Did nothing...

... Forgot i was playing as Gobbo's.
I have three left... Of 120.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkflagrance on December 10, 2009, 09:11:49 am
Quote from: Fist_Of_Armok on December 10, 2009, 12:31:51 am
Quote from: Hobbie on December 09, 2009, 02:51:58 pm
First death on my new fortress was a baby falling down a soon-to-be well.

T_T

Its parents probably died. They tend to suicide if their folks die.

Quote from: Hobbie on December 09, 2009, 02:51:58 pm
First death
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hagadorn on December 10, 2009, 09:48:52 am
Quote from: darkflagrance on December 10, 2009, 09:11:49 am
Quote from: Fist_Of_Armok on December 10, 2009, 12:31:51 am
Quote from: Hobbie on December 09, 2009, 02:51:58 pm
First death on my new fortress was a baby falling down a soon-to-be well.

T_T

Its parents probably died. They tend to suicide if their folks die.

Quote from: Hobbie on December 09, 2009, 02:51:58 pm
First death

Saddest story ever written.

For Sale.
One Pair Baby Shoes.
Never used.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Retro on December 10, 2009, 09:51:04 am
Quote from: Hagadorn on December 10, 2009, 09:48:52 am
Saddest story ever written.

For Sale.
One Pair Baby Shoes.
Never used.
Should've given the kid a cabinet.

:P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kyronea on December 10, 2009, 05:40:53 pm
I only just now realized that you can scroll through the announcement list.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on December 10, 2009, 08:58:19 pm
Hey, this thread just got stickied, cool.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sysice on December 10, 2009, 09:15:00 pm
I guess this is the closest to a help thread we're going to get, so the sticky makes sense. I retroactively second the motion!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendus on December 11, 2009, 12:25:25 am
This thread has actually taught me a few things, so good stuff.

Just had a recent one. Didn't remove the ramps next to one of my fortress walls. Last siege this wasn't a problem, as I had no stairs to access the top and the lizardmen (Relentless Assault) were only pikemen and wrestlers. This time, a bunch of lizardmen bowmen managed to climb to the top of my walls and began firing on my hammerdwarves laying in wait for them to go through the front gate. Oops.

Amazingly, I only had one casualty. I think he was shot a few times then fell, the official cause of death was  "Collided with an obstacle" but I think that was just the final blow. Luckily, although my dwarves didn't have their final weapons, I had 10 dwarves halfway through my intensive cross-training regimen, so they had good wrestling, shield user, and agility plus steel chainmail.

Fake Edit: Strike that. Apparently, he fell off the wall and down the stairwell. So it was a 15 z-level fall that got him... ouch.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: qoonpooka on December 11, 2009, 07:57:42 am
Quote from: Elvang on April 20, 2009, 09:18:02 pm
For awhile I was oblivious to the mass forbid/dump/melt features; I spent more time with the game paused after a siege marking stuff than the siege lasted.

Reading this post, I realized that I STILL DO IT THAT WAY. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on December 11, 2009, 12:25:59 pm
Quote from: Lord Dakoth on December 09, 2009, 09:34:55 pm
Quote from: Lord Shonus on December 05, 2009, 10:18:23 am
I accidentally killed a cat with catapult fire instead of the peasant I was aiming at once. I really needed that cat.

Silly Shonus, catapults don't hurt dorfs!

NOt sure if you're joking or not, bt they mosy certainly do.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yagrum Bagarn on December 11, 2009, 12:30:51 pm
Cool, stickied.

I just started using Dwarf Companion.  I can't believe how much easier it is than the game interface.  Managing dwarves can be fun again!  All that time editing professions. . .
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on December 11, 2009, 03:38:02 pm
Quote from: darkflagrance on December 10, 2009, 09:11:49 am
Quote from: Fist_Of_Armok on December 10, 2009, 12:31:51 am
Quote from: Hobbie on December 09, 2009, 02:51:58 pm
First death on my new fortress was a baby falling down a soon-to-be well.

T_T

Its parents probably died. They tend to suicide if their folks die.

Quote from: Hobbie on December 09, 2009, 02:51:58 pm
First death
Most likely the mother was asleep.  They tend to crawl off unless the mother actually gets a chance to pick them up.  One jumped out of my barraks and headed straight for the lava mote til the unbelievably agile mother ran to pick it up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on December 11, 2009, 09:21:36 pm
Yea I've actually seen that happen recently. (except instead of a magma moat it was the 13 z level dropshaft that goes down the middle of the central stairway) Funny how the moms can sleep through that kinda thing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist son of Urist on December 12, 2009, 02:19:42 am
Producing a legendary right before the seasonal change in the first year, followed by a goblin invasion.

I conscripted my entire population and hurled them at the invaders.  With hilarious results.  Dorf bits everywhere.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Playbahnosh on December 12, 2009, 08:45:50 am
Spending the entire afternoon covering the whole topside fort and yard with floors, one-by-one (oblivious to the UMKH keys), so it'll look awesome. Then realizing I can't build anything on constructed floors, and removing every single floor title, one-by-one. Then removing all the single-title paved roads outside the fort (again, one-by-one), because traps also cannot be constructed on them,

Good times!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FaultyLogic on December 12, 2009, 10:13:10 am
Quote from: Lord Shonus on December 11, 2009, 12:25:59 pm
Quote from: Lord Dakoth on December 09, 2009, 09:34:55 pm
Quote from: Lord Shonus on December 05, 2009, 10:18:23 am
I accidentally killed a cat with catapult fire instead of the peasant I was aiming at once. I really needed that cat.

Silly Shonus, catapults don't hurt dorfs!

NOt sure if you're joking or not, bt they mosy certainly do.

I'm pretty sure your populace is immune to catapults.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Halceon on December 12, 2009, 11:30:14 am
Ballistae are a whole different story, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SkyRender on December 12, 2009, 12:36:31 pm
 I was working hard on a mega construction fortress, and getting quite irked that my immigrant waves were so tiny: they consistently sized 1 or 2.  After about 3 game years of this happening, I frustratedly checked the init text and discovered that I'd set the population size cap to 1, so my hermit fort Dwarf wouldn't have to keep building so many coffins.

 The moral of the story is: don't try to run a hermit fort and a mega construction fort on the same init file.  You will not be happy with the results.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Playbahnosh on December 12, 2009, 02:07:26 pm
Quote from: SkyRender on December 12, 2009, 12:36:31 pm
I was working hard on a mega construction fortress, and getting quite irked that my immigrant waves were so tiny: they consistently sized 1 or 2.  After about 3 game years of this happening, I frustratedly checked the init text and discovered that I'd set the population size cap to 1, so my hermit fort Dwarf wouldn't have to keep building so many coffins.

 The moral of the story is: don't try to run a hermit fort and a mega construction fort on the same init file.  You will not be happy with the results.


A hermit dwarf, now I gotta try THAT!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SkyRender on December 12, 2009, 02:40:45 pm
Hermit Dwarves are fun.  A few tips, however:

1. If you want them to survive longer than about a year, don't build in any savage biomes.
2. Use Dwarf Companion to kill off the other Dwarves, but do so while your hermit is out of sight of them; otherwise, you will have one very unhappy hermit.
3. Make the most of forbid/reclaim orders to get your hermit to stockpile the items you want them to stockpile in the order you want them stockpiled.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: InsanityPrelude on December 12, 2009, 08:12:30 pm
I smashed one of my own dwarves with a drawbridge by accident.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Foa on December 12, 2009, 08:41:18 pm
Misplaced a drawbridge in a mega project, everyone in that fort died soon after I place a building-destroyer in said project.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Henman on December 12, 2009, 09:08:25 pm
Quote from: Elvang on April 20, 2009, 09:18:02 pm
For awhile I was oblivious to the mass forbid/dump/melt features; I spent more time with the game paused after a siege marking stuff than the siege lasted.
I had the exact same problem. Except I was dumping large amounts of stone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SkyRender on December 12, 2009, 09:42:52 pm
Yeah, just had another moment a while ago.  Mass-designating melting of buckets is not a good idea when you've been using buckets to train a Dorf up on Blacksmithing, since they're liable to have someone melt down their sole masterpiece.  Which is exactly what happened.  In fact, I think the Dorf who made the bucket is the one who melted it, at that.  He's now resolutely making masses and masses of new buckets of pretty much every high quality level EXCEPT masterpiece, ticked off but not yet insane.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on December 12, 2009, 11:18:59 pm
I just realized that the room I'd constructed to be my magma-working level was off in its dimensions; rather than the 15x9 it was supposed to be, it was only 15x7, as was the magma pool underneath it. Thus, I could not fit 15 workshops in like I'd wanted to, but only 10. Fortunately, this is easily fixed; thanks to fortifications and walls I don't need to put magma under the impassable square of the workshop.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yuck on December 13, 2009, 01:09:55 am
"Collapsing this would be much easier than digging it out. Itll just drop down to the floor below."
And through the floor.
And the floor below that.
And the floor below that.
And the floor below that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: orbcontrolled on December 13, 2009, 08:26:45 am
I was getting sick of stray clothing cluttering the halls and stockpiles of my fort, so I set every piece of clothing in the fortress to be dumped in a pile at the depot, then when the caravan arrived I just traded them every piece of handwear, headwear, footwear, legwear, and bodywear that I could.


About a season later one of my champions died to a single kobold arrow.
Apparently he hadn't been wearing any armor.
Because apparently there was no armor left in the fortress.
Because apparently the move-goods-to-depot screen lumps armor and clothing into the same categories, and I had inadvertently sold tens of thousands of dorfbucks worth of steel armor in exchange for a few barrels and pieces of chesse.  :'(

Quote from: Yuck on December 13, 2009, 01:09:55 am
And the floor below that.
And the floor below that.
And the floor below that.
;D I lost one of my best fortresses that way. The whole thing just fell straight to the bottom.

It was going to be a towering, invincible monument to the power of the dwarven empire. It's defenses were impenetrable to any attack my mind could conceive, even those not implemented in the game!
Humans smuggle an invading army into my fortress in their trade caravan? I was prepared for that. Goblins learn to swim and try to come up through the plumbing? Thought of that too.
Miners drop a small hill 1 z-level to make room for a tower? Wasn't prepared for that.

I could have savescummed, but it was just too depressing, knowing that my invincible edifice would fall apart like balsa wood if an invading army so much as catapulted rocks at the roof.

Now I try to only dig on every other floor.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mattie2009 on December 13, 2009, 12:56:45 pm
I made an above-ground base on a forest map. It was two houses and a soon-to-be basement.
Then I realised I couldn't build down stairs into open space (just-channeled open space).

I facepalmed and wondered if lava would be an adequate punishment.
Then I wondered if there was lava on the map.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on December 13, 2009, 03:08:15 pm
Quote from: FaultyLogic on December 12, 2009, 10:13:10 am
Quote from: Lord Shonus on December 11, 2009, 12:25:59 pm
Quote from: Lord Dakoth on December 09, 2009, 09:34:55 pm
Quote from: Lord Shonus on December 05, 2009, 10:18:23 am
I accidentally killed a cat with catapult fire instead of the peasant I was aiming at once. I really needed that cat.

Silly Shonus, catapults don't hurt dorfs!

NOt sure if you're joking or not, bt they mosy certainly do.

I'm pretty sure your populace is immune to catapults.
Absolutelty wrong. Your operators won't aim at dwarves, but if a Dwarf is standing where the stone hits, it'll take significant damage.

Try it yourself. Embark on a snowy map (so you can see the impacts) make some catapults, and station some troops where the stones are hitting. It'll take a while, but eventually there will be blood all over the place.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Archpaus on December 13, 2009, 04:36:03 pm
Just wanted to share this one :

A thief has stolen a ☼Steel plate mail☼!
A masterwork of Urvad Sibrekorstist has been lost!

And I started playing DF with the 2D version, it's a shame...  :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NecroRebel on December 14, 2009, 03:06:08 am
I just discovered that one of my modding attempts had some surprisingly fortunate, but weird and undesired effects.

I wanted to remove all of the useless rocks, like orthoclase and microcline, from the game in the hope of getting more gems and metal ores instead of large clusters of crap. My attempt involved just taking the matgloss_stone_mineral.txt entries and removing the brackets around all of the useless stones' names, believing that this would remove them from the game without actually deleting all of them.

Well, then I started up a map, used Reveal to survey the landscape, and found that there were mica and alunite clusters amongst my various igneous layers. This annoyed me, but I decided to make a fort anyway and just deal with their presence. A couple ingame years later, I chance to look at a mica stone. In its uses list, it claimed that it was an ore of aluminum, and was worth 120 instead of the expected 3. I found this more than a little confusing, so I looked at my stones screen.

Sure enough, mica is now, inexplicably, an ore of aluminum. Native aluminum apparently doesn't exist, despite the fact that I didn't mod it at all. Horn silver also doesn't exist, nor does calcite; instead, brimstone and alunite take their places, uses, and values. This was not what I had intended when I tried to remove useless stones from the game...  ::)

On the bright side, I now have flux (calcite-called-alunite) on a purely igneous map, as well as... Oh, probably about 400 native-aluminum-as-mica so far, with at least 2 more totally-untouched large clusters. Once I get a blacksmith up to legendary, I think I'm going to make enough aluminum tables and chairs to furnish my entire public dining hall, and maybe make all of my nobles full-aluminum rooms (the king'll get adamantine, since I've got a funhouse on my map).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on December 14, 2009, 03:56:54 am
If you want more ores, there's a couple of things you can do.

1. Change the cluster size of all your undesired minerals to cluster_small. Removing them altogether by deleting their environment tag would probably work as well, but it might have unexpected consequences like the measures you've tried yourself. I can sort of vouch for the "cluster_small" way working as expected (I say "sort of" because I have played one fort with those mods so far, and was satisfied with the results, but your mileage may vary).

2. Change the environment of your most desired minerals to all_stone and their size to cluster.

The second step is important in that it positively makes aluminum or gold or whatever you want as common as microcline. Merely getting rid of the useless minerals might not be enough to give you shitloads of ores, as you might end up with only your "layer" stones and a couple of veins or small clusters of the good stuff.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NecroRebel on December 14, 2009, 05:18:46 am
I know there are other ways of doing things; I just wanted something quick and simple and assumed that altering the raws so the game no longer knew that the bad stones were there would be good enough.

I suspect that if I had removed them altogether that it might've worked better, but I didn't want to have to load up a fresh copy of DF if I wanted to undo it and didn't think to make a copy of the original until just before I saved the altered version. Considering I did make a copy of the original, though, I probably should've just cut out the undesirable stuff and been done with it. Regardless, for the purposes of the fort that I'm working on now, it probably doesn't matter much, especially as I'm hoping for it to be my last fort before the new version.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Innominate on December 14, 2009, 07:54:02 am
Quote from: NecroRebel on December 14, 2009, 03:06:08 am
I just discovered that one of my modding attempts had some surprisingly fortunate, but weird and undesired effects.

I wanted to remove all of the useless rocks, like orthoclase and microcline, from the game in the hope of getting more gems and metal ores instead of large clusters of crap. My attempt involved just taking the matgloss_stone_mineral.txt entries and removing the brackets around all of the useless stones' names, believing that this would remove them from the game without actually deleting all of them.

Well, then I started up a map, used Reveal to survey the landscape, and found that there were mica and alunite clusters amongst my various igneous layers. This annoyed me, but I decided to make a fort anyway and just deal with their presence. A couple ingame years later, I chance to look at a mica stone. In its uses list, it claimed that it was an ore of aluminum, and was worth 120 instead of the expected 3. I found this more than a little confusing, so I looked at my stones screen.

Sure enough, mica is now, inexplicably, an ore of aluminum. Native aluminum apparently doesn't exist, despite the fact that I didn't mod it at all. Horn silver also doesn't exist, nor does calcite; instead, brimstone and alunite take their places, uses, and values. This was not what I had intended when I tried to remove useless stones from the game...  ::)

On the bright side, I now have flux (calcite-called-alunite) on a purely igneous map, as well as... Oh, probably about 400 native-aluminum-as-mica so far, with at least 2 more totally-untouched large clusters. Once I get a blacksmith up to legendary, I think I'm going to make enough aluminum tables and chairs to furnish my entire public dining hall, and maybe make all of my nobles full-aluminum rooms (the king'll get adamantine, since I've got a funhouse on my map).
Yeah, so what you did was just delete the "new stone definition starts here" tags, meaning that the old definition of "[MATGLOSS_STONE:ALUMINUM]" replaced some of its tags with those of borax, then olivine, then hornblende, kaolinite, serpentine, orthoclase, microcline and finally mica. Since none of those stones replace aluminium's "[METAL_ORE:ALUMINUM:100]" tag with "[METAL_ORE:ALUMINUM:0]" (whereas they do replace "[TILE:'^']" with "[TILE:'v']", as well as most other tags), aluminium (with the name and otherwise equivalent functionality of mica) drops aluminium ore.

I'm astounded that Toady even lets the game compile the files with such a mess in the raws. Long story short: deleting the entire section for each stone would have been approximately 10,000 times better than what you did.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on December 14, 2009, 10:58:26 am
Quote from: NecroRebel on December 14, 2009, 05:18:46 am
I probably should've just cut out the undesirable stuff and been done with it.

Let me reiterate: that probably wouldn't be enough. I refer you to the following part of my previous post:


Quote from: assimilateur on December 14, 2009, 03:56:54 am
2. Change the environment of your most desired minerals to all_stone and their size to cluster.

The second step is important in that it positively makes aluminum or gold or whatever you want as common as microcline. Merely getting rid of the useless minerals might not be enough to give you shitloads of ores, as you might end up with only your "layer" stones and a couple of veins or small clusters of the good stuff.

It might seem like going over the top, but as I said, merely reducing the number of useless stone from the mineral file (or even removing it altogether) doesn't strictly equate to getting more ores. You might merely end up with more andesite, granite, marble or whatever your layer is made of.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Safe-Keeper on December 14, 2009, 03:27:51 pm
[OT]
Quote
2. Use Dwarf Companion to kill off the other Dwarves, but do so while your hermit is out of sight of them; otherwise, you will have one very unhappy hermit.
You can kill dwarves with Dwarf Companion?! How? Do you press Delete with a dwarf selected or something?[/OT]
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NecroRebel on December 14, 2009, 03:58:58 pm
Quote from: Innominate on December 14, 2009, 07:54:02 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Good to know why it happened. If I end up generating a new world again before the update comes, I'll probably end up doing that.
Quote from: assimilateur on December 14, 2009, 10:58:26 am
-snip-
I am aware that it wouldn't ensure more useful materials, but it would help give more, and at the very least it would make the walls of my forts more solidly-colored and prevent the annoying "You have discovered microcline!" messages.

Besides that, I didn't want to make precious materials as common as the large cluster stones. Note that I accidentally made "native aluminum" as common as mica, and considered that an undesired consequence of my modding. I just wanted to make the layers to be filled with small clusters of gems and veins of ores. From what I understand, each level of each region block absolutely does have a few small clusters and veins or a single large cluster, so if there are no large clusters, you will get more other stuff. Not hundreds more, like making precious materials into large clusters, but just more.

Quote from: Safe-Keeper on December 14, 2009, 03:27:51 pm
[OT]
Quote
2. Use Dwarf Companion to kill off the other Dwarves, but do so while your hermit is out of sight of them; otherwise, you will have one very unhappy hermit.
You can kill dwarves with Dwarf Companion?! How? Do you press Delete with a dwarf selected or something?[/OT]
Right-click on their name, Hurt. Or double-click their name then click the Hurt button at the top of the unit window that pops up. Either way, it makes them have red wounds on every body part, which usually rapidly kills them. If they survive too long for your tastes, go into the unit window and give them some bleeding, too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on December 14, 2009, 04:02:21 pm
Quote from: NecroRebel on December 14, 2009, 03:58:58 pm
From what I understand, each level of each region block absolutely does have a few small clusters and veins or a single large cluster, so if there are no large clusters, you will get more other stuff. Not hundreds more, like making precious materials into large clusters, but just more.

I thought it was one large cluster and some veins and small clusters. I'm going to have to test that.

At any rate, I see where you're coming from. If getting rid of all the generic stones was one of your main objectives, then I guess that would be the way to go about it. Personally, I kinda like the variety. I've gotten rid of the generic large clusters mainly to make room for more ores, I don't have a problem with the useless stones themselves.


Quote from: NecroRebel on December 14, 2009, 03:58:58 pm
Either way, it makes them have red wounds on every body part, which usually rapidly kills them. If they survive too long for your tastes, go into the unit window and give them some bleeding, too.

Don't red wounds entail bleeding? I mean, how else are you gonna kill them if not by bleeding or suffocation?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NecroRebel on December 14, 2009, 04:19:14 pm
Quote from: assimilateur on December 14, 2009, 04:02:21 pm
I thought it was one large cluster and some veins and small clusters. I'm going to have to test that.

At any rate, I see where you're coming from. If getting rid of all the generic stones was one of your main objectives, then I guess that would be the way to go about it. Personally, I kinda like the variety. I've gotten rid of the generic large clusters mainly to make room for more ores, I don't have a problem with the useless stones themselves.
I think many of the large clusters have the possibility of veins and small clusters inside them. I know one of the green stones, olivine I think, tends to have platinum veins included within it, for instance. I usually check for present minerals with reveal before starting my forts, and I'm fairly certain that it's either a large cluster or other stuff. I very well could be wrong, though.

I've not had a problem with the large clusters, really, but I just decided to do away with them to see what the game was like without. I thought it would be nice to not have to deal with unnecessary stones, especially that eye-searing blue microcline  >:(


Quote
Quote from: NecroRebel on December 14, 2009, 03:58:58 pm
Either way, it makes them have red wounds on every body part, which usually rapidly kills them. If they survive too long for your tastes, go into the unit window and give them some bleeding, too.

Don't red wounds entail bleeding? I mean, how else are you gonna kill them if not by bleeding or suffocation?
Normally it'd be basically impossible to get a red wound without taking a hit that would make you bleed, but companion use isn't exactly normal circumstances. I've had creatures survive for a couple of weeks after I used the hurt feature of companion on them, but they die almost instantly after I magic their blood away.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on December 14, 2009, 04:39:07 pm
Quote from: NecroRebel on December 14, 2009, 04:19:14 pm
Normally it'd be basically impossible to get a red wound without taking a hit that would make you bleed, but companion use isn't exactly normal circumstances. I've had creatures survive for a couple of weeks after I used the hurt feature of companion on them, but they die almost instantly after I magic their blood away.

I'm curious as to what their stated cause of death is if you only give them red wounds and wait.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NecroRebel on December 14, 2009, 04:42:05 pm
...You know, I'm not sure. I've never done it to my own dwarves, nor have I had combat reports on to see, since last I checked that feature of companion was still very buggy, or even if that would be included in combat reports since no combat is going on.

Edit: Just checked; it says that they bled to death. This despite the fact that they supposedly aren't bleeding; at least, Companion says that they have 0 bleeding. I had a 5-toughness wounded champion survive long enough to be taken to bed, though, and I know I've seen things survive longer, so I'm not quite sure how that works.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on December 14, 2009, 04:52:38 pm
Thanks for testing that. Your results make the wound system appear even more strange than it already was. If supposedly non-bleeding red wounds are, indeed, bleeding, then I'm wondering how the chance of survival is calculated.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NecroRebel on December 14, 2009, 04:58:37 pm
Quote from: assimilateur on December 14, 2009, 04:52:38 pm
Thanks for testing that. Your results make the wound system appear even more strange than it already was. If supposedly non-bleeding red wounds are, indeed, bleeding, then I'm wondering how the chance of survival is calculated.
Well... The test wasn't exactly intensive, especially as I ctrl-alt-deleted out of the game after killing 13 of my 17 dwarves to see if I could get one to survive for a while.

I suspect that the game just doesn't know how to deal with a creature that is totally mangled but was never injured. "Bled to death" is probably just the generic cause of death that is defaulted to when something dies of their wounds. Since that's probably the most common cause of death, it would make sense to have all of the other, less-common causes of death just have a special message instead of having a special message for all causes of death, especially since the latter might make the game more confused if something impossible happened (like, say, something getting red wounds all over its body without taking a single hit).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on December 14, 2009, 06:44:54 pm
I just had one last night.  A dwarf had breached the HFS, so i quickly set him to "masonry" and tried to wall it up.  However, a spirit of fire had popped up, and he quickly met a quick, horrid, burning end. Now, the rest of my dwarves were down a LONG 2 tile wide tunnel, so i quickly ordered 2 masons to build a wall down the hallway.  Now, i have my ONLY miner mining nearby.  So, i try to have the masons save him.  However, the Clowns of Fire were too quick, and son roasted one of my masons while the other ran.  Fortunatly, another peasant was wandering around, so i drafted him so he could distract the CoF's while he build a wall furhter down. The mason was scared, and went off to get a drink, so he wouldn't do it, but soon, MORE showed up, and it was too late.  My dwarves were slaughtered.

2nd facepalm: as the CoF's were destroying EVERYTHING, i notced them approaching an access floodgate that leads to several pipes that feed the waterfalls in my dining room.  I watch as one approaches, and soon utterly DESTROYS the floodgate. This leads to MASSIVE flooding through my fortress. Well, it would have, except that the CoF decided that it would stand in front of the approaching water, and began to evaporate it.

3rd facepalm: as the Cof's were destroying everything, i quickly ordered my dwarves to wall themselves in.  i considered drafting several of them and having them stay inside safe rooms, but i decided against it.  Too much work and all that.  Then 3 of them ran out into the hallway JUST as the last wall was finished. >.<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on December 14, 2009, 06:57:35 pm
I'm not sure but I wouldn't be surprised if a red heart is enough to cause a bled to death message.  Considering a red heart qualifies as a mortal wound to anything that can bleed, it could very well just start a countdown to death modified by toughness, regardless if the creature is actually bleeding. That would explain why they still die despite not actually bleeding. 

If it's the heart it's bled to death, lungs or throat is suffocation.  Maybe when your so royally boned as to have all 3 messed up it just defaults to heart.

The game certainly knows what a mortal wound is, since red lungs heart or throat all bring up the mortal wound warning and prevent travel in adventure mode.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on December 14, 2009, 07:06:52 pm
Quote from: Greiger on December 14, 2009, 06:57:35 pm
Maybe when your so royally boned as to have all 3 messed up it just defaults to heart.

It probably isn't a matter of defaulting, just a matter of one (red lungs) taking longer than the other (red heart) to kill you.

Quote from: Greiger on December 14, 2009, 06:57:35 pm
red lungs heart or throat all bring up the mortal wound warning and prevent travel in adventure mode.

I'm curious, does one pierced lung qualify as a mortal wound in adventure mode? I think I've read about super tough dwarves surviving with just one functional lung, but I can't be sure.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on December 14, 2009, 11:11:18 pm
I don't actually know.  Whenever I got magic arrowed in adventure mode it tore apart pretty much everything in the upper body.  I never got hit by anything in my memory that only caused the loss of one lung.

I imagine it wouldn't though. A flier creature only drops out of the sky if you cripple more than 50% of it's flier parts(so they can still fly with only 1 out of 2 wings)  I imagine it's the same with lungs.  You would probably just spend the rest of yer life (or until you travel) winded.

EDIT: Then again on the other hand, there is the notorious hydra example.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Taco Dan on December 15, 2009, 12:36:21 am
Quote from: assimilateur on December 14, 2009, 07:06:52 pm
Quote from: Greiger on December 14, 2009, 06:57:35 pm
red lungs heart or throat all bring up the mortal wound warning and prevent travel in adventure mode.

I'm curious, does one pierced lung qualify as a mortal wound in adventure mode? I think I've read about super tough dwarves surviving with just one functional lung, but I can't be sure.
It's probably possible with a really tough adventurer, it's never happened to me before, (don't play too much adventurer) but I've had a couple dwarves in dwarf mode stick it out with one lung before.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HAMMERMILL on December 15, 2009, 03:14:13 am
I've seen dogs and dwarves walk around completely content with a imploded/ missing lung.

I suppose you really only need one lung to survive, but a wounded lung tends to kill people IRL. Pneumothorax and Hemothorax eg, sucking chest wounds, where one of the lungs, or rather the plueral space around the lung fills with fluid or air and compresses the other lung, which makes it rather impossible to breathe.

Its not a huge deal today with modern medical needle decompression and chest tubes, ect. Not sure how they resolved those cases with olde dayes medicine.

Wow. Anyways. One face palm moment was with an adventurer. At some point during a raid on a gobbo fortress, I got a mining pick lodged in my eye. I noticed it in my inventory and was "oh, cool, free mining pick" I pulled it out by removing it from my inventory and then nearly bled to death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Crowbar on December 15, 2009, 03:59:13 am
I had a face-palm moment in Fortress mode when I'd had just about enough of the elven traders.  I set up the depot so that it could be flooded at will, the water travelling through a tunnel from a nearby brook.  The flow was controlled by floodgates.  Once I'd drowned them all, I intended to go in and take all of their stuff.

It all went well, up until I realized the only lever to control the floodgate was on the inside...

Yeah, preparation and patience aren't exactly my specialities.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Euld on December 15, 2009, 04:31:30 am
Tried desperately to get an area with a nice chunk of Sedimentary layer, a magma pipe, HFS, and hopefully an underground river/pool.  After scouring a couple different worlds, I genned a world with some extra volcanic activity and go it.  Magma pool was on the surface, so I had to work fast to build a wall around it.  Things were going quite well, and then... my woodcutter, who I gave a precious profficient level in stonecrafter, who was helping build the wall, got very thoroughly killed by a fire imp :(  It did inspire me to make tombs for my original seven (now six) dwarves...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ruttiger on December 15, 2009, 09:11:53 am
I recently had one.  I had someone get possesed a while ago, and they had no appropriate crafting skills, so I think "yeah right" and deconstruct my only crafts workshop.  A while later the person goes insane.  So some time passes, I assumed my insane dwarf died, but a while later I get a message, the fort has had it's first baby.  I zoom to the location and unpause, and watch as the dwarf stands there while the baby aimlessly wanders about.  It was my insane dwarf.  The baby wandered seemingly aimlessly, I eventually lost track of it.

This all happened after I had finshed designing my fox pit, which is a 1X1 hole that I fill with endlessly replicating foxes so I can outfit my fort with fox leather gear.  It makes you think just how evil this game makes you. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on December 15, 2009, 11:26:32 am
Quote from: HAMMERMILL on December 15, 2009, 03:14:13 am
Not sure how they resolved those cases with olde dayes medicine.

That's the thing. Seeing how current dwarven healthcare consists of carrying casualties to their beds and bringing them food and water, one would be realistically (if it behooves to use words like "realistic" in relation to a high fantasy setting) expected to die from one pierced lung.


Quote from: HAMMERMILL on December 15, 2009, 03:14:13 am
"oh, cool, free mining pick"

It would have been awesome if you were able to dig with a looted pick in adventure mode. You can dream, right?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neruz on December 15, 2009, 03:09:26 pm
Quote from: assimilateur on December 15, 2009, 11:26:32 am
That's the thing. Seeing how current dwarven healthcare consists of carrying casualties to their beds and bringing them food and water, one would be realistically (if it behooves to use words like "realistic" in relation to a high fantasy setting) expected to die from one pierced lung.

Unless one was incredibly tough. Funny how that pays out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on December 15, 2009, 03:11:40 pm
Quote from: Neruz on December 15, 2009, 03:09:26 pm
Unless one was incredibly tough.


I don't think anyone is that tough in reality (which was what I was comparing the game to). In a fantasy setting in general, or in DF in particular, that's obviously different.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewoTigra on December 15, 2009, 05:33:38 pm
Flooding my underground trade depot (to get rid of elves) then realizing I had no way of draining out said water. In hindsight, I should have made it so my dwarves didn't have to go through the depot to go outside. I lost several dwarves to starvation because they were locked outside by the water.

Also, mining out the roof of a tunnel, then seeing my entire fortress instantly fill with water. Turns out oceans are highly pressurized.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Brian on December 15, 2009, 07:45:38 pm
Quote from: assimilateur on December 15, 2009, 03:11:40 pm
Quote from: Neruz on December 15, 2009, 03:09:26 pm
Unless one was incredibly tough.


I don't think anyone is that tough in reality (which was what I was comparing the game to). In a fantasy setting in general, or in DF in particular, that's obviously different.

Wouldn't a pierced lung either fill up with liquid or cause partial collapse, possibly leaving one fulling functional lung?  Not saying it would be a pleasant experience.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Halmie on December 16, 2009, 12:26:14 am
Not realising you could shift + space while choosing materials for constructions. I must of pressed enter a thousand times before realising.

Seaching for magma on the finder, then moving with u,m,k,h. I spent my first summer and autumn trying to find it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on December 16, 2009, 02:18:39 am
Finally learned how to build a pump stack, and decided to try building a Dwarven weapon of killing everything, the good old Flood-The-World device. A pump stack, drawing water from my dammed underground river, powered by a watermill on the same river. Unfortunately, I forgot all about how pumps tend to start up the instant they get power, and pump crazily fast. Thankfully the stack wasn't complete, limiting the damage somewhat, and I had planned for this, putting a gear assembly that was going to be linked to a lever. Unfortunately, I still have to take it apart enough to stop the flood, which was a pain the last time I tried anything with pumps.

Edit: It works! Happy-happy joy-joy! Now for its twin, drawing from a magma pipe. "Some say the world will end in fire, some in ice". I say, why not both? Magma + water == TOTAL DEATH
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kidiri on December 16, 2009, 08:02:36 am
Quote from: assimilateur on December 15, 2009, 11:26:32 am
Quote from: HAMMERMILL on December 15, 2009, 03:14:13 am
"oh, cool, free mining pick"
It would have been awesome if you were able to dig with a looted pick in adventure mode. You can dream, right?
It would be fairly awesome to be able to mine out rock using a pick that's stuck in your eye. Well, next to the obvious weirdness and impossibility of having a pick stuck in your eye.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on December 16, 2009, 08:18:13 am
Awesome squinting powers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Innominate on December 16, 2009, 09:16:29 pm
Quote from: Kidiri on December 16, 2009, 08:02:36 am
Quote from: assimilateur on December 15, 2009, 11:26:32 am
Quote from: HAMMERMILL on December 15, 2009, 03:14:13 am
"oh, cool, free mining pick"
It would have been awesome if you were able to dig with a looted pick in adventure mode. You can dream, right?
It would be fairly awesome to be able to mine out rock using a pick that's stuck in your eye. Well, next to the obvious weirdness and impossibility of having a pick stuck in your eye.
Make the change in bold to your body_default.txt file:
[BODY:2EYES]
[BP:REYE:right eye][CONTYPE:HEAD][SIGHT][EMBEDDED][SMALL][ RIGHT][GRASP]
[BP:LEYE:left eye][CONTYPE:HEAD][SIGHT][EMBEDDED][SMALL]
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: yeznik on December 17, 2009, 12:48:40 am
Forgetting to place cage traps. It's even worse because I had the mechanisms and cages in spades! I didn't realize until a couple of Dragons appeared and began decimating my fortress. I lost almost all my dwarves to them and then I got hit by a few score of half-giants. All in the second year, curse my beginners luck!~
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on December 17, 2009, 12:50:58 am
Quote from: Innominate on December 16, 2009, 09:16:29 pm
[BP:REYE:right eye][CONTYPE:HEAD][SIGHT][EMBEDDED][SMALL][ RIGHT][GRASP]

That is brilliant.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kobot on December 17, 2009, 07:20:21 am
i created a fort which defends itself solely with swords, no traps, no crossbows, not even tricksy walls and moats to screw with goblin pathfinding, and i've been patiently building up wealth and immigratnts waiting for my first siege

it finally arrives, and i mobilize my swordsmen and send them out into the field
at that same moment a massive caravan from the mountainhome arrives from the same spot and the guards wipe out the entire seige less than ten squares from the edge of the map

not really a face palm moment but frustrating as hell and i dont know where else to post it
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kidiri on December 17, 2009, 08:50:05 am
Quote from: Innominate on December 16, 2009, 09:16:29 pm
[BP:REYE:right eye][CONTYPE:HEAD][SIGHT][EMBEDDED][SMALL][ RIGHT][GRASP]
You punch the peasant in the right lower leg with your right eye. It is bruised.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on December 17, 2009, 11:09:07 am
Quote from: kobot on December 17, 2009, 07:20:21 am
i created a fort which defends itself solely with swords, no traps, no crossbows, not even tricksy walls and moats to screw with goblin pathfinding, and i've been patiently building up wealth and immigratnts waiting for my first siege

it finally arrives, and i mobilize my swordsmen and send them out into the field
at that same moment a massive caravan from the mountainhome arrives from the same spot and the guards wipe out the entire seige less than ten squares from the edge of the map

not really a face palm moment but frustrating as hell and i dont know where else to post it

Caravans usually turn tail when a siege shows up. In fact, in my current fort, a spring or so ago, the elves came (with thier usual load of cloth.......) and seconds later, a siege arrived. I thought the elves would turn tail, but instead, they actually seemed to be running for the fort entrance and got there well ahead of the siege.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neruz on December 17, 2009, 11:20:09 am
Sometimes Caravans decide to carve swathes of death and destruction across the landscape.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: twwolfe on December 17, 2009, 01:40:19 pm
Quote from: Neruz on December 17, 2009, 11:20:09 am
Sometimes Caravans decide to carve swathes of death and destruction across the landscape.

and other times they become swathes of death and destruction.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on December 17, 2009, 03:05:51 pm
Quote from: twwolfe on December 17, 2009, 01:40:19 pm
Quote from: Neruz on December 17, 2009, 11:20:09 am
Sometimes Caravans decide to carve swathes of death and destruction across the landscape.

and other times they become swathes of death and destruction.


Really? Usually they end up getting into my trade depot, then the siege gets to them, then I activate Project Deadly Entrance , and make them all dead and goblinite.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Miliardo on December 17, 2009, 05:56:04 pm
Setting up my pump system wrong, as a result flooding the only safe fishing spot on the whole map, killing two miners and a fisher dwarf.

Digging a channel, a dwarf fell in, I figured 'since he's down there lets have him knock out the few blocks he missed when he fell a z level' oopse I forgot that the level above would collapse on him >>;

Being stupid enough to save the last square between a tunnel for magma and the volcano for one  miner to dig out, the whole group entered the tunnel, 3 were vaporized on the spot, the last one to enter got half way down and turned tail to run, his cat burst into flames and he died not long after. Cue the basement of the fort flooding on top of it.

... man screwing up is fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on December 17, 2009, 07:43:44 pm
Quote from: twwolfe on December 17, 2009, 01:40:19 pm
Quote from: Neruz on December 17, 2009, 11:20:09 am
Sometimes Caravans decide to carve swathes of death and destruction across the landscape.

and other times they become swathes of death and destruction.
This is a finely woven swath of death and destruction. The thread is red...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neyvn on December 18, 2009, 06:03:34 am
Working on a Mega Project, got to Autumn first year...
The Caravan Arrives...
I send my Trader to the Deport trade some goods then send him back to his office to await the Liaison...

No one appears to be chasing the Trader. I look around Map for some animal distracting him, look at unit list...
There is NO Liaison...

Open Civ "C" Page. Choose the Dwarven Nation. Jawdrop at the fact it reads...
'This land Has no Important Leaders'

Fuck... Start again I need that Bauxite that the Civ was spos to bring. And I am not relying on the RNG for trading goods...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Moogie on December 18, 2009, 09:04:39 am
I just spent the last few (RL) days constructing, de-constructing, puzzling, planning, frustrating, tweaking, hair-pulling and waiting for my waterfall system to be built.

The water is pumped from the nearby brook and falls several Z-levels through the center of my fort. I carefully planned this so that it would have a clear path down the middle, unhindered by any expansion efforts I might make in the future.

At the resevoir at the bottom, I have three water wheels linked to a stack of pumps that are supposed to draw the water back up to a dumping location.

After several game years of trying and failing to get the waterwheels and pumps to power themselves properly, I was gradually getting closer to success each time.

Finally, after what must have been at least five entire re-designs of the system, it was working -- intermittently. Hey, partial success is still success, amirite?

So I happily sat there and watched a small amount of water work it's way up the pumps and towards the dumping location. Unfortunately, I had forgotten one very important... uhh, detail. The game suddenly paused, and I saw the message: "A section of cavern has collapsed!"

But that was no cave-in message... it was my water falling into the magma pipe and becoming falling blocks of obsidian. I had planned to dump the water into the magma pipe, evaporating it, as I had no bottomless pit to get rid of the excess with.

Due to this small oversight, my budding six-year fortress has been a complete waste of time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on December 18, 2009, 01:00:07 pm
Quote from: Moogie on December 18, 2009, 09:04:39 am
I had planned to dump the water into the magma pipe, evaporating it, as I had no bottomless pit to get rid of the excess with.
Water can be run off the edge of the map by carving a fortification into the edgemost tile. Hopefully you have enough space to redirect the excess water.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: happydog23 on December 18, 2009, 03:22:23 pm
Setting out to do a mega-project with the orc mod still installed.

8 game years setting up the fortress to support 50 dwarves, and have all the workshops and magma placed where I wanted it.

Finally ready for the brook to be diverted so that I can setup the obsidian farm AND use the newly completed but "un-wetted" drowning room to get some iron from the orc seiges. 

I go out, setup some pumps diverting the output to the bottomless pit.  Start building a damn in the brookbed.  3 goblin ambushes later i'm starting a tantrum spiral.  I don't really want to deal with it and fix it so I save-scum. 

I build a wall around the pumping area and connect it to my fortress.  Start building the damn.  Need more pumps to save my insanity.  Build pumps and extra diversion channel... It blocked access to the brook bead, so I built some ramps to get over the walls that were diverting the water.  Goblin ambush.... wtf?  OH yeah... ify ou build a wall against a mountain and then put ramps to get over the wall, people can walk from the mountain to your fort.  A few more ambushes later.....


I'm really debating the merits i put in to not having a military.  I'm also going to be an expert at river damning by the time this is over.  I've learned all kinds of tricks at this point.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Constantinople on December 18, 2009, 07:40:36 pm
Nothing that big, and I caught it before Fun could be had but still:

My dwarves have no soil, so I'm building an irrigation system plus well for them.
This well comes with an emergency drain, two sets of floodgates hooked to the same lever like so:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
So the idea was that when the lever was pulled the floodgates at the top would close.
The lever would also open the lower floodgates, leading to the pump tower.

While installing grates a dwarf got stuck so I had the lever pulled and...
Levers apparently don't work that way.
Instead of two floodgates that can alternate being open I built two floodgates that open and close at the same time, but one just happened to start open. :-\

I can only imagine how much Fun this would have been if I discovered it after I let the water in.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sproingie on December 18, 2009, 08:11:56 pm
One of the earlier lessons I learned was: give your soldiers armor before giving them all obsidian swords.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fist_Of_Armok on December 18, 2009, 09:16:25 pm
Apparently the space I dug out for my dorfs to place pumps in was done wrong.

I've been avoiding my fortress for the last few days due to that, despite the bit of the fortress that requires it not being anywhere near done-or anything LIKE being near done.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZergSpartan on December 18, 2009, 09:36:11 pm
So I got the bright idea to give my dwarves the fireball-throwing ability of fire imps.
Queue 2 years after fort establishment, first siege! Draft all the dwarves in the fort! CHAAAAARGE!

Urist Mcfireball has died in the heat x15

Ooooh, oops, forgot to make dwarves fireproof...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: atomfullerene on December 19, 2009, 12:18:13 pm
I've been having fun with HFS lately.  I'm kind of new at it, so I didn't properly airlock my miner in the first time and lost a fort to FUN.  Which actually was kind of fun.  The second time I was more prepared to wall off the area, and did so in time to keep my fortress from being invaded.  However, my greedy dwarves rushed in to get the adamantine which I didn't think to forbid, and I lost quite a few good dwarves who were trapped on the wrong side of the sealing wall.  Had a few tantrums, but just managed to avoid a spiral. (had a nice artifact coffin produced right away, which let me bump the dining room value waaay up.)

I'm plotting  my revenge on the demons now, with a complicated series of spike traps, archery, ballistas, and whatever else I feel like.  And next time I run into hfs I'll be better prepared (of course it will all change next version anyway)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: yeznik on December 19, 2009, 12:52:44 pm
I attempted today, for the first time, to rob a caravan. I walled up my trade depot, trapping three caravans inside, and then filled it with water and waited for them to drown. I waited seven seasons and everyone in the 7/7 water was doing swimmingly. I popped a wall out and imagine my surprise when all 40 merchant guards/animals went mad or berserk. I don't think it will ever be safe to go outside again.

[Edit: Also, for some reason the guards that went berserk are generating crystal explosions.]

Edit: The giant horses have slaughtered the last of my champions. This loss is as inexplicable as it is terrible.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on December 20, 2009, 03:09:58 am
Giant horse!? you took what is known here as the scourge of the plains... the things that slaughter entire human villages in the night, weaponmasters, archers, what appear to be mighty warriors (children) and all without taking a single scratch... and you made them GIANT!?

single donkeys have been known to take out forts of less than 10.  Consider yourself lucky to be merely dead to the world outside, and not to yourself.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jack_Bread on December 20, 2009, 08:03:13 am
I remember, one-time as a newbie, adding a waterfall to my meeting hall that drains into an artificial river. With no drains.

Oddly, my fort fell due to dehydration, AKA no farms, no brewery, Winter in a cold place.

EDIT: Also, placing statues in corners, then trying to smooth the wall. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: *Poster* on December 20, 2009, 11:26:54 am
Quote from: assimilateur on December 15, 2009, 03:11:40 pm
Quote from: Neruz on December 15, 2009, 03:09:26 pm
Unless one was incredibly tough.


I don't think anyone is that tough in reality (which was what I was comparing the game to). In a fantasy setting in general, or in DF in particular, that's obviously different.

As best as we can tell from the historical record, during his Indian campaign Alexander the Great suffered a very serious chest wound, probably a punctured lung, and survived it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bralbaard on December 20, 2009, 02:31:19 pm
My fortresses only artefact was just stolen by a coyote. I didn't even know they could steal stuff.
I have never had a object stolen from the fortress before, but have killed over 20 hobgoblin, avar and skalassi thiefs (Playing the LL mod). I'm still waiting for an explanation from my fortress guard on how a simple canine has managed to just randomly grab the most valuable artefact in the fortress, and sneak away with it. I suspect something fishy is going on, and the guards blamed the coyote to cover things up.

Edit: I should note that the only entrance into the fortress is through the barracks, where my entire military is training. I know there was a party near the granite statue, but that's not a good excuse.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Danjen on December 20, 2009, 07:09:27 pm
So hypothetically, a fort can be brought down with a bridge. This definitely didn't happen to me. *cough*

If the fort happens to be in haunted territory, you want a good way to seal the fort off from outside, right? Obviously, it would be prudent for me the designer to build a drawbridge and control exactly what enters, and when.

Well, if the elf caravan just happens to finish trading and the bridge is up, preventing exit, the game doesn't tell you. It just says they embarked. About 10 minutes later you might get a message to the effect of "Elf McHippy has gone berserk! Two-humped camel has gone berserk! Elf McHippy has gone stark-raving mad!". Now, camels are pretty badass, especially to a young fort of 10 dwarfs with no military. Of the two survivors of this horrible massacre (I managed to trap a camel in the dining room), one went insane, killed the other, and promptly drowned himself.

The moral? F--- elves!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ungulateman on December 21, 2009, 07:28:56 am
My current fortress is being drowned by RAINDROPS. I decided that watering my growing fields would make them more effective, but instead, since it was open to the regular, heavy rains, is now flooding my fortress. It's taking almost all of my supplies to floor it off.  ::)

Also, those stupid impassable walls in the workshop meant my first craftsdwarf died about midsummer.  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dAGNARUS on December 21, 2009, 12:03:04 pm
I was building a siege tower of about 10 z levels, really a massive tower, which I would use in sieges (hence the name siege tower) with a catapult and/or a ballista on top. Turns out siege weapons only fire at things on the same z level. That was the first time I screamed at my computer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AxisKiller on December 21, 2009, 12:32:45 pm
I had returned to DF after a long time of not playing and loaded up my old fortress. I was figuring out where everything was, and found my old lever room. I had forgotten to label the levers, but I figured none of them were a self-destruct mechanism, so I just pulled one and see what happened. I see, "Urist McSmith has burned to death!" shortly followed by "Urist McFarmer has drowned!" I then notice my fortress is flooding with water and magma, from two opposite sides.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: monkeyfetus on December 21, 2009, 06:01:45 pm
Tax collector makes a mandate for large gems. I carve my entire stockpile of gems, and do exploratory mining to find more. I barely finish the mandate on time after going through all 50 gems I had plus ten or so more I found mining while the mandate was active. Before the season ends, he makes another mandate for large gems.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on December 21, 2009, 06:08:33 pm
Quote from: monkeyfetus on December 21, 2009, 06:01:45 pm
Tax collector makes a mandate for large gems. I carve my entire stockpile of gems, and do exploratory mining to find more. I barely finish the mandate on time after going through all 50 gems I had plus ten or so more I found mining while the mandate was active. Before the season ends, he makes another mandate for large gems.

If he mandated just large gems, without specifying their type, then you could have tried churning out raw green glass and cutting that shit up. Of course, that is assuming you've got both sand and magma. If not, then I recommend getting rid of the tax collector.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xort on December 21, 2009, 08:08:36 pm
Water even very fast under huge pressure water freezes basicly instantly when leaving the warm inside to the cold outside.

Picture if you will a mountain with a massive empty hole in the middle of it. Like any good dwarf would do, it was filled with water in case something needed to be watered. The size was on the order of 10 in radius and 15z levels, the bottom had a 16 (4x4) wide opening that fed into a 4 wide flood tunnel. Floodgates held the water back at the bottom and the inflow at the top was a presure plate controling a set of 15 flood gates that were holding back an aquifer that was oddly enough located at the top of the mountain. Secondardy flood gates prior to the pressure control gates were under lever control for safety and maintance.

Anyway the flood tunnel lead to the side of a rather sizable cliff face where it would dump into a open plain, normaly flooding goblins, because it's aways nice to wash goblins before picking them over for loot, and fighting while wet sucks.

The flood tunnel crossed a mine access tunnel a few squares back from the cliff face, I had floor grates installed in an 4x4 drain grid so I could flood at any time and not stop my mining operation. (The flood tunnel and mine access tunnel met, at the crossing the grates dropped the water down one Z level and spit it out the side of the cliff).

For safety I only use floodgates because I like the style of massive gates snapping shut trapping the slow on the other side, and because unlike doors stupid people can't open them and flood new areas. I also like to build a level of automation into my forts.

This fort had a multi level drainage system that drained different parts of the fort as pressure plates activated and started water wheels driving drainage pumps. Also the very lowest level drained into a massive dwarf made lake as a final back up if all other automation failed. I think the lake was 5 Z levels deep and about 1/4 of the map. This lake had floodgate controled drainage to a bottomless pit, but also a number of controled pump stacks that would pull water from the bottom level and transport it to 3 Z levels above the surface and just dump it. While not part of the story the massive lake was also connected to the same top of the mountain aquifer, but was ran through a set of controlable* pressure reducers to head off any flooding. (* controlable because what if I wanted to flood my fort from the bottom up?)

Anyway on the plain I had finished some walls ment to extend the water flow and incress the distance traveled to get to the fort's main gate. I wanted to test the flow rate of the water and I also wanted to even out the main flood chambers walls with some selective digging. So I was going to compleat a two part test, one to messure the flow rate of the water, two to test the output of water from the aquifer to see how much sustained water would flow.

I was worried about the 4x4 grid of floor grates as I had not done a full scale full flow test before.

~
I open the safety and maintance flood gates at the top, the pressure plate controled filling gates are shut because the cistern is full. Next I pull the bottom flood tunnel gates, and water start to rush out.

Water flows, flows, flows turns to ice and starts to backup and flood. I can't stress enough how fast high pressure water flows between the first 'cancels dangerous ground' and when I paused it I had water in the main part of the fort.

So after taking a look at the problem I deside to:
A: close the flood tunnel gates
B: close the safety and maintance aquifer gates
C: activate the internal division floodgates
D: standby to bury our dead

Frist thing that happens, water races across the mine access level, drops a level and seals off the main crafting and dinning hall level. Automated systems seal areas and start draining water. Problem is, the drains all dump outside so they all freeze as soon as the water hits outside. So now I have half drained rooms that are floodgate locked, I do have manual levers for opening closed gates but that will have to wait because I need to shut the incoming flow off first.

The lever room is best discribed as a level dedicated to levers. It has a single access point that was sadly located beside the main stair stack but on the water side. I still had the one dwarf on the lever level that pulled the first 2 switches, however after a hard day of work he was going home and some dwarf halfway across the fort had taken up the job to pull the lever to stop the flow of water.

If that dwarf has turned around the instant I issued the order to pull the lever, I think he still migh have been too late. So water rushes into the lever level, trips a pressure plate and floodgates close around enterance; Other floodgates open to the drainage level below, still more floodgates open and water starts to power waterwheels, screw pumps start to drain the closed off lever level and the enterance were my lever man that was going home for the day is stuck. Water flows in, then gets pumped out, then freezes and the water rises.

So water slowly fills the fort, the main stair stack keeps water from flowing into the far side, but at least half the fort is under some water. The auto floodgate system sometimes closes off before a lot of water gets into an area, so that area is able to drain the water, get it backed up in the drainage system, reopen the floodgates which then pour in more water till the gates close for good with the screw pumps stopped.

All my waterwheels drain into my bottomless pit so they keep running. A few of the areas also drained into the pit, and I think those dwarfs had it the worst as areas flooded, closed, drained, opened and then reflooded.

I was thinking I was going to need my fortress in a box reboot kit, (A set number of dwarfs locked away in a self sustaining sub fort, able to repopulate a fort after any possible disaster). However when I started this test it was about mid winter.

My worry was the massive lake was going to fill up and start a bottom up flood, however it was able to handle the water and sring came while it was still 1 z level from full.

With the spring, water started pouring from every opening and pipe, frame rate crashed for a while. About halfway drained a dwarf was able to get to the lever room and stop the flow of water. It was touch and go for a while as a few dwarfs raged over dead friends, and lack of sleep/food/drink. More than a few learned to swim.

The flood tunnel was moved down a level and walled off, access control by lever flood gate. The enterance to the lever room was moved. Most of the drainage systems were reworked to create mushroom like drainage covers so the water wouldn't freeze instantly. Others were routed into the pit.

So remember water freezes, fast. Not like I thought it did. Face palm, tears of joy and fear.

Oh and I'm glad no tantruming dwarf set off the 'enemy' deep inside the fort, the fort must be lost, flood the place with magma pressure plate.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on December 21, 2009, 08:57:44 pm
Quote from: *Poster* on December 20, 2009, 11:26:54 am
Quote from: assimilateur on December 15, 2009, 03:11:40 pm
Quote from: Neruz on December 15, 2009, 03:09:26 pm
Unless one was incredibly tough.


I don't think anyone is that tough in reality (which was what I was comparing the game to). In a fantasy setting in general, or in DF in particular, that's obviously different.

As best as we can tell from the historical record, during his Indian campaign Alexander the Great suffered a very serious chest wound, probably a punctured lung, and survived it.
Of course, that may well have contributed to him catching and dying of the common cold.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Halmie on December 21, 2009, 10:19:00 pm
Quote from: Lord Shonus on December 21, 2009, 08:57:44 pm
Quote from: *Poster* on December 20, 2009, 11:26:54 am
Quote from: assimilateur on December 15, 2009, 03:11:40 pm
Quote from: Neruz on December 15, 2009, 03:09:26 pm
Unless one was incredibly tough.


I don't think anyone is that tough in reality (which was what I was comparing the game to). In a fantasy setting in general, or in DF in particular, that's obviously different.

As best as we can tell from the historical record, during his Indian campaign Alexander the Great suffered a very serious chest wound, probably a punctured lung, and survived it.
Of course, that may well have contributed to him catching and dying of the common cold.
We don't know it was the common cold. Some speculate that he was poisoned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on December 21, 2009, 10:58:18 pm
One works in the joke. The other is irrelevant.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chewykittens on December 22, 2009, 12:56:46 am
I was setting up to cave-in on a UG river. Suddenly I get an announcement "-Doc- Urists Mc Starter died from colliding with obstacle"  I zoom to the corpse and it's in the chamber below the cave-in site.  I figured that a rock dug out from channeling hit him in the head.

me="ooooh!" -> Facepalm -> savescum
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 64-bit on December 22, 2009, 02:11:09 am
I just lost a fort to 20 some orcs (with dig deeper) it took me a while to figure out how they got in. oddly enough, right as my last dwarf died, my computer crashed (a unrelated issue with my sound card) and i don't have pictures of the bloodbath, but i do have a picture of the hole. the worst part is that this was the second time i lost the fort to this hole.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkflagrance on December 22, 2009, 07:57:10 am
Quote from: Chewykittens on December 22, 2009, 12:56:46 am
I was setting up to cave-in on a UG river. Suddenly I get an announcement "-Doc- Urists Mc Starter died from colliding with obstacle"  I zoom to the corpse and it's in the chamber below the cave-in site.  I figured that a rock dug out from channeling hit him in the head.

me="ooooh!" -> Facepalm -> savescum

Rocks don't kill people. Cave-ins kill people. -Doc- channeled the cave-in himself, and the dust knocked him off from wherever he was down, down to his death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Asmodeous on December 22, 2009, 09:24:10 am
Quote from: 64-bit on December 22, 2009, 02:11:09 am
I just lost a fort to 20 some orcs (with dig deeper) it took me a while to figure out how they got in. oddly enough, right as my last dwarf died, my computer crashed (a unrelated issue with my sound card) and i don't have pictures of the bloodbath, but i do have a picture of the hole. the worst part is that this was the second time i lost the fort to this hole.

You should totally fix that.


I had dug out a very dwarvenly, large, intricate aquaduct system of absolute dwarven engineering, complete with five waterfalls (including one waterfall in each noble's room and their own personal clear glass wells that were just waiting for the adamantine chains to be built before they were constructed -- this part is key, but yes). Thinking myself crafty, I figured instead of building a complicated floodgate system complete with cisterns and pressure-bleeding pumps/basins, I would take advantage of DF's inability to share pressure across a diagonal on the floors where the wellgaps were - you know, to save time. . .

So I channel the river. The water starts flowing, and the waterfalls look splendid, the dwarves dance happily at their miracles of engineering --- and then the rooms with the well-channels in them start having water bleed up, and the dwarves scatter before I can lock the doors (yes, I would have left them to die) - opening them so the water can flow through!

I look around trying to figure out what happened... guess who mis-clicked the diagonal paths and made them L-turns. *facepalm*


Another great one, and far better than the first -- I was on a terrifying mountain range in a sinister forest with a terrifying foothills surrounding. There were exactly 2 (yes two) non-dwarven creatures that were not undead (not counting my pack animals), and also did I mention there were 3 Giant Cave Spiders? (Hint: None of them were the 2 living creatures).

So all is going well, I've survived two goblin raids and have been equipping my military with adamantium plate mail -- zombie trolls are scary things after all, especially when they're partying-hard with a skeletal GCS -- and another siege comes in. Easily dispatch the siege, and since my soldiers scattered the goblins all over the map, I decided that I didn't want to search the cliff-sides to try to find all the bodies, went into the stocks menu, and blanket-unforbid all the goblin equipment, then allowed my dwarves back outside, and returned to the job of carefully mining my way through the Adamantium in hopes I don't begin a new bit of "fun" while I have a number of wounded wrestlers.

"Urist McStupid Has been struck down."

Wait--what?

"Urist McDinnerplate has been struck down."

....what the devil is going on here?

Game paused, I begin searching around trying to figure out where this death-camp they're marching into is...

At the head of the chasm: A pile of dead goblinoids, a few dead dwarves, an ARMY of dwarves running over to pick up the socks of the dead dwarves (and the equipment from the goblinoids), and all three undead GCS looking around like "OH HAPPY DAY IT'S A BUFFET!!"

*facepalm* And that day I learned why "blanket unforbid" is bad.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on December 22, 2009, 09:38:40 am
Quote from: darkflagrance on December 22, 2009, 07:57:10 am

Rocks don't kill people. Cave-ins kill people.

Correction: people using cave-ins kill people.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RedKing on December 22, 2009, 10:08:10 am
Putting the finishing touches on my porticullis, only to see "The caravan has bypassed your inaccessible site."

Wouldn't have been so bad except I was out of booze, low on food, and the caravan was slated to bring my first anvil.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HatfieldCW on December 22, 2009, 03:06:01 pm
I know how that can be, RedKing.  I built a sophisticated entryway, with various bridges and floodgates that would allow me to exploit pathfinding to send invaders pacing around my guard tower, and three years in a row I was testing the switch setups at the very moment dwarf caravans arrived.  Can't they just hang around for thirty seconds before deciding my site is inaccessible?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Percival on December 22, 2009, 03:22:50 pm
So far my biggest facepalm also happened to be the time I learned that the "Digging designation canceled: Warm stone located" message only occurs once. If the miners have already let you know about the presence of magma, they consider the safety part of their job done, and they will happily mine into their deaths the second time you designate it.

Not knowing this, I selected a square to be dug around one level of my magma pool, not worrying about boundaries. Obsidian = profit. (I should note at this point that I have temperature turned off.)

Next thing I know, I have two of my legendary miners swimming for their lives. Although, in general, I am trying not to cheat (i.e., considering magma instantly deadly), I wanted to see if it was possible for them to survive, so I built a door for them to head towards at the end of the magma channel. Apparently magma is really hard to swim through. They managed about 10 squares in a long period of time (a couple months, maybe). By the time they were (I think) talented swimmers, the magma was all 7/7, and they fainted from hunger and thirst, then drowned. So sad.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tcei on December 22, 2009, 06:29:51 pm
A few gens back I embarked on a haunted river. Living carp have nothing on their undead brethren  My dwarves landed in between 2  small ponds filled with zombie carp and a river overflowing with them as well. In a matter of minutes after I unpaused I only had one dwarf left, some how this poor fellow actualy managed to grab a pick before being scared off by the hoards of undead carp crawling up on land to slaughter his fellows and start digging out the fort.

After the initial die off I figured hermit fort would be a good new challenge. So I let him keep digging while I went and browsed the internet. I looked up just in time to see the hoard of zarp a mere the tiles away from where the miner was digging... the carnage was impressive.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chewykittens on December 22, 2009, 08:29:14 pm
Quote from: darkflagrance on December 22, 2009, 07:57:10 am
Quote from: Chewykittens on December 22, 2009, 12:56:46 am
I was setting up to cave-in on a UG river. Suddenly I get an announcement "-Doc- Urists Mc Starter died from colliding with obstacle"  I zoom to the corpse and it's in the chamber below the cave-in site.  I figured that a rock dug out from channeling hit him in the head.

me="ooooh!" -> Facepalm -> savescum

Rocks don't kill people. Cave-ins kill people. -Doc- channeled the cave-in himself, and the dust knocked him off from wherever he was down, down to his death.

Thing is, I wasn't even close to dropping the slab, and 5 other dwarfs who were standing on the thing were just fine.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fishbulb on December 22, 2009, 11:27:36 pm
I signed up specifically to tell you about what just happened.

After getting bored with my too-successful-to-be-fun fort, I flooded it with magma then finally abandoned when my last surviving blacksmith holed himself up in a warehouse room with a huge stockpile of prepared meals and wine and I didn't have the patience to wait for him to get bored and suicide or whatever.

I picked a new location basically at random, just to mess around a little. When I got there, I found it was a totally flat site with a few trees and a carp-laden river. Could be fun, thought I, so I set about doing the old cave-in-your-wagon trick. You channel out around your wagon, it caves in, dropping it to the first underground level, saving you the time of lugging all your supplies in. Put a ceiling on it later or whatever. Easy peasy.

I channeled out the last tile and suddenly the alert popped up: "You have discovered a magma pipe!"

Followed by:

Urist McPlanter has died in the heat.
Urist McMiner has died in the heat.
Urist McTrader has died in the heat.
Urist McBrewer has died in the heat.
Urist McGlassmaker has died in the heat.

And about a dozen "the stray whatever (tame) has died in the heat" messages.

That's right, I'd managed to drop my entire wagon, with all my supplies, pets and livestock, and five of my seven starting dwarves into a magma pipe. Within ten seconds of starting the game.

I'm currently debating whether to abandon now and try again, or wait for my two survivors (Urist McOtherminer and Urist McFurnaceoperator) to get thirsty, try the river and die by carp-to-the-face.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on December 23, 2009, 06:50:37 am
...actually, I'm having trouble seeing how you managed to cave in AND discover-

Oh, right, punched through one layer, since you needed to mine out from underneath to cavein.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fishbulb on December 23, 2009, 08:53:12 am
Right. Here I am at ground level, with seven happy dwarves full of excitement at making a fresh start out on the frontier. Level -1, as I discover when I dig my first ramp beside the wagon, is peat. Unbeknownst to me, level -2 immediately beneath by wagon is empty space; that's where the cavern at the top of the magma pipe is, and levels -3 through -whatever are magma 7/7. I dropped my wagon onto level -1, which (because it was unsupported from below) caved in. From there on down, it was all burning and screaming and then horrible, horrible silence.

Incidentally, I let my two survivors wander around for a little while before shamefully aborting the game and reloading my initial save to try again. The surviving miner was inconsolable at the loss of all his friends, big flashing down-arrow. The furnace operator was all "Huh? What are you talking about? There were other dwarves here?"

After a season of the miner being all "Complained lately" and the furnace operator being all "Got yelled at by an unhappy dwarf lately" and a complete failure on the part of the carp to solve my problem for me, I killed the game and started over. I suppose it would've been more dwarfly to take my last pick and dig out a hole and do some plant gathering to try to survive, but I didn't have the patience for it at the time. Instead I imagined my two surviving dwarves gazing down into the fiery pit into which their friends and their stuff plummeted, saying "Stuff this" and hoofing it to the nearest road to hitch a ride with a passing caravan.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bluea on December 23, 2009, 02:06:25 pm
If you have the "Right at embark" save, it might be interesting to see if you can catch all seven in the catastrophe, and exactly how long it takes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fishbulb on December 23, 2009, 02:54:59 pm
I think I'd have to dig out a bigger pit under my wagon. The wagon's three-by-three, and I dug out a five-by-five square under it. It was really lucky if you can call it that that I managed to kill ALL the livestock in one go. I had four cats, four war dogs, two cows and two pigs (I think it was; this was late last night), and they all were in exactly the wrong place at exactly the wrong moment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Quantum Toast on December 23, 2009, 03:05:13 pm
Quote from: bluea on December 23, 2009, 02:06:25 pm
If you have the "Right at embark" save, it might be interesting to see if you can catch all seven in the catastrophe, and exactly how long it takes.
I'm surprised it's taken me this long to see someone suggest savescumming to make an accident worse.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on December 23, 2009, 04:31:11 pm
Quote from: Quantum Toast on December 23, 2009, 03:05:13 pm
Quote from: bluea on December 23, 2009, 02:06:25 pm
If you have the "Right at embark" save, it might be interesting to see if you can catch all seven in the catastrophe, and exactly how long it takes.
I'm surprised it's taken me this long to see someone suggest savescumming to make an accident worse.
That is dwarven science.
Taking the accident apart a piece at a time thing, not the making it worse part.  Just to clarify.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: inteuniso on December 23, 2009, 05:52:08 pm
Just had a facepalm moment.

I had been trying to channel the brook, maybe to channel it... but to no avail.

Anyways, I had decided to build a small wall around my fort, and I wanted to extend my farming, so I decided to dig a small pond. Once I channeled through, I went back to minding my business. However, I went down one z-level and saw water advancing up my corridor. I realized I had broken through to release the water of the brook upon me. If I had realized earlier, I might have been able to stop it, by pulling a lever and closing some floodgates. Unfotunately, that lever was entirely underwater. Watching most of my fort go underwater, I have decided to let loose all of my water, causing the forts death, along with any dorf stupid enough to stay in the lower levels. This is sad, because I just had fought back two goblin ambushes that occured simultaneously.

EDIT: Oh god they're drowning in their sleep! Not even knowing the end is coming for them! Noooo!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Julien Brightside on December 23, 2009, 06:01:55 pm
I am going to share a little story here because it is just so...dwarf.

Once upon a time, a bunch of dwarven merchants(caravan) came to my village of Roofhonor, whereas they traded. Then they left to sell more stuff at other places. For some reason, they left their elite guards behind (not that I mind, they killed off several goblin raids by themselves), but:

I no longer recieved dwarven immigrants.

This thing lasted for years, and I thought that the rest of dwarven society had collapsed and we were the only ones left.

Except, it was the other way around, dwarven society had believed that my village had collapsed, and thats why they never heard from us again. There had grown trees from when the caravan arrived until it was supposed to leave, so the caravan could not leave. That is until I built a road to the other end of the map. Suddenly, when I had cut the trees there, I could finally see the caravans move again, taking the elite guards with them.

I hope there will be some immigrants coming soon.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 100killer9 on December 24, 2009, 02:56:26 pm
Giant rats are deadly. Dwarves let creatures out of cages to bring them to other cages. My military is lazy. Massacres are bloody.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Dakoth on December 24, 2009, 02:59:36 pm
RED LEVER means magma deathtrap. BLUE LEVER means room service. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on December 24, 2009, 04:05:19 pm
Quote from: Lord Dakoth on December 24, 2009, 02:59:36 pm
RED LEVER means magma deathtrap. BLUE LEVER means room service. *facepalm*

Be advised that instead of simplistically color-coding your levers, which is demonstrably prone to lapses of memory, you could put notes on your map (I think the note menu is accessed via capital N). You don't even have to bother writing anything in them, just put the same kind of icon on each hatch/floodgate/door and the respective lever that links to it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sproingie on December 24, 2009, 04:58:27 pm
I tend to lay out my levers in a lever room that's a very rough scale model of the areas where the levers are.  It's not exact, but I at least know a lever in the northeast of the room is a lever in the northeast of the map.  Water and Lava levers additionally get color-coded by the surrounding walls and floors.  The room itself has two separated approaches so if a tantruming dwarf gets near one, I can cut it off and still have access.

I did this layout business because I'd never learned about notes (:sigh:) but the color coding is still useful when I get lazy.  My last doomsday trap did require two separate levers to unleash tho.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Danjen on December 24, 2009, 06:43:28 pm
I made my first large death trap. When the first lever was pulled, it would seal the large entry hall off with floodgates. The second lever closed the drainage system, while the third and final lever controlled the water intake. The intake was hooked up to a river (though it had to travel quite a ways to get there), while the drain went down a long tunnel until it reached an automatic pump which was still under construction. It worked, sort of; I was able to drown elves and dwarves (for Fun, mostly). The flaw to the trap was that it took so long to fill with unpressurized water that the pack animals died of dehydration before they drowned, even as the water reached around 4/7. Then I found out the lever that controlled the intake was missing. Completely gone. So like ... I had a sealed room, ever filling with water, and a broken drainage system. Needless to say, I had to abandon eventually.

The second disaster fort I made started off incredibly; it had copious amounts of ore, coal, and gems, guaranteeing a good metal industry. Huge forests and a running stream. Skeletal giant eagles (which thankfully didn't notice me at all). Well, I added a cistern and it broke the fort; essentially, I died to water pressure. My main level was located 1 z-level under the river. The cistern was two 2 levels tall, and a few floors below the main. I built a small meeting area above the cistern, with a hole in the floor, acting as an elaborate well. Well, apparently water pressure can go down, over, and then UP. The room happened to be connected by ramps, and ended up flooding the entire fortress; workshops, stockpiles, bedrooms, everything. I managed to save my dorfs from the bedrooms by tunneling down from above and making stairs up, and mining out adjacent rooms, but I shortly abandoned afterwards.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on December 24, 2009, 06:47:46 pm
Magma is good for cleaning up water accidents.
Water is good for cleaning up magma accidents.

Unfortunately, one may often have another 'accident' cleaning up...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on December 24, 2009, 07:31:48 pm
If you're referring to the cave-ins caused by digging out the obsidian, ramps will allieviate the problem.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fishbulb on December 24, 2009, 10:43:21 pm
Oh, bloody hell. I just had another one.

I have this open-air drydock sort of thing next to a little stream. See, the stream is carp-infested, and carp are deadly, but they're also tasty. Fortunately, oxygen is their one weakness. So I have a system of levers and floodgates and grates. Pull one lever, river-water (and carp, hopefully) rush in. Pull the other, everything drains out, leaving the carp gasping on the grates until their little fishy icons go all red and delicious. It's much simpler than shooting fish in a barrel, since there's no shooting.

Anyway, a goose (I'm playing with Dig Deeper, so there are geese) managed to get into my drowning pit. It just sort of swam around there minding its own business, seemingly invisible to the schools of carp swimming just tiles away. It stayed there for a LONG time, too, and when I finally v'd over it, I saw why: it had a broken wing. I guess it wasn't so invisible after all; just lucky.

Anyway, I forgot about it for a while. But then I went to clean out the pit after the annual carp genocide, and I found him  the goose  down on the bottom level, under the grates. I'd forgotten to set the door to the stairs to tightly-closed, so he got down there during the draining. A little goose, flopping around in a drained water tank with a broken wing, unable to fly out.

Poor thing.

So I went to a HELL of a lot of trouble to rig a cage trap down there. My mechanic is apparently deathly afraid of geese specifically or waterfowl in general or something, I don't know, because every time I sent him into the tank with a cage and a mechanism, he came out screaming. Anyway, what with one thing and another, I finally got the cage set up, and watched with a big grin as the goose flopped over to it and popped it.

I haul the caged goose outside, a nice distance from my outer wall, near a flock of other geese that was milling about close to the stream. Rigged a lever to it  which was another pain in the ass; see above re: ornithophobic mechanics and gave it a good yank. Ta da! The goose was, at last, free!

All this took me the better part of two seasons, mostly 'cause my mechanic is a pussy, and I had to get all the dogs caged up so they wouldn't run into the tank and tear it to gobbets, and just all the folderol of it. But the rescue mission was a success!

And wouldn't you know the goddamn goose flopped right over to the river and got eaten by the first carp to come along. While I watched.

"Yay, you're free! Go be with those other hey. The geese are over there. No, not the river! Not theoh god, the blood!"

Seriously. The riverbank went red all the way to the edge of the map. Who knew geese had so much blood in them.

Shoulda just flooded the tank and drowned the damn thing. Would have been more merciful. And hey, free meat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: quinnr on December 25, 2009, 12:23:03 am
I love how carp getting one dwarf manage to turn the entire river red with blood...the first dwarf I lost was to a carp, and it traumatized me for life.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on December 25, 2009, 12:27:53 am
Quote from: sproingie on December 24, 2009, 04:58:27 pm
My last doomsday trap did require two separate levers to unleash tho.
ALWAYS double lever your doomsday devices WMDs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fishbulb on December 25, 2009, 01:01:46 am
Quote from: quinnr on December 25, 2009, 12:23:03 am
I love how carp getting one dwarf manage to turn the entire river red with blood.

I shamefully but willingly admit that I savescummed probably five times while trying to connect my drowning pit to the river. Carp. Carp. Sea lamprey. Carp. Goose. (Scared my woodcutter into the river where she drowned.) It was ridiculous.

Then I had a brilliant revelation. I just opened the drain beneath the grates (a 9x9 retracting bridge over a big room that connects to fortifications at the map edge), opened the inlet gates and sent in my miners to tunnel to the river horizontally instead of channeling out those last tiles on the surface. As soon as the river was breached water came flooding in, and dropped right through the grates and down the drain. My miners barely got their ankles wet.

The best part was watching the carp lunge for my miners as they dug out the last two tiles. They skidded right into the pit, where the water went from 7/7 down to an unsteady 2/7 on the grates. They gasped and air-drowned while my miners finished the job.

The fish haul was so epic I had to press five more butchers into messy, complicated, amateurish service to keep the carp, gar and lampreys from spoiling in my garbage room before they could be processed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JoystickHero on December 25, 2009, 03:07:27 am
Quote from: Fishbulb on December 25, 2009, 01:01:46 am
Quote from: quinnr on December 25, 2009, 12:23:03 am
I love how carp getting one dwarf manage to turn the entire river red with blood.

I shamefully but willingly admit that I savescummed probably five times while trying to connect my drowning pit to the river. Carp. Carp. Sea lamprey. Carp. Goose. (Scared my woodcutter into the river where she drowned.) It was ridiculous.

Then I had a brilliant revelation. I just opened the drain beneath the grates (a 9x9 retracting bridge over a big room that connects to fortifications at the map edge), opened the inlet gates and sent in my miners to tunnel to the river horizontally instead of channeling out those last tiles on the surface. As soon as the river was breached water came flooding in, and dropped right through the grates and down the drain. My miners barely got their ankles wet.

The best part was watching the carp lunge for my miners as they dug out the last two tiles. They skidded right into the pit, where the water went from 7/7 down to an unsteady 2/7 on the grates. They gasped and air-drowned while my miners finished the job.

The fish haul was so epic I had to press five more butchers into messy, complicated, amateurish service to keep the carp, gar and lampreys from spoiling in my garbage room before they could be processed.
I think this may be the first time ever that a carp's last thoughts were "Damn you, Urist..."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ravenplucker on December 26, 2009, 03:04:42 am
I just realised how to detect aquifers without embarking and getting a warning >=l
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: S.K. Ren on December 26, 2009, 02:12:07 pm
This is my greatest facepalm moment ever:

I embarked on a great location. It was a volcano and it had a undertground lake and river. The Lake was positioned just behind and above the magma pipe. I decided I would drain the lake into the caldera and have an easy to reach pool and some extra obsidian. I had already tapped into the magma much lower so I figured, 'What the hell'.

So just before the big drain, the set up looked something like this (Note: objects in example are much larger than they appear):

Code: [Select]
     ^^^  -Lake
   ^^^^^
  ^^^^^^
  ^^^^^
   ^^^
    #  - Depressurizing region, the lake is 4 z-levels high, and we're on the bottom
  .......
..vvvvv..# - The entrance to my fort, can you see where this is going?
.vvvvvv...
..vvvvv.. -The caldera
 .........

So I popped the cork and then within 1 second, I found my entire fortress sealed by Ice. Yes, I had forgotten I was in an freezing temperature map. SO my entire for was sealed and flooded. To make things worse, all my picks were sealed inside too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GrafZeppelin on December 26, 2009, 02:15:22 pm
My greatest facepalm moment has to be when

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Magick on December 26, 2009, 03:41:42 pm
Quote from: Magick on December 26, 2009, 03:16:13 pm
-Everything is hooked up to magma. Everything. Dining room? magma. Bedrooms? magma. Stockpile? magma. King's throne room? Definitely magma.

So one day, a goblin siege was overtaking the fortress. I locked them into their particular section and PULLED THE LEVER.


Nothing happened.

A few minutes later, i get this message:
Urist Mcking has died in the heat
I look over, and the king's room is completely flooded with magma.

I then ordered my lever-pulling hermit to pull every lever, including the one that controlled the magma flow to the lever room. Got rid of those damn goblins.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Furtuka on December 26, 2009, 05:38:27 pm
5 minutes ago I posted a topic asking what something in my fortress was only to find out it was the artifact that I was so exited this morning but I didn't reconize it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TrueAnkh on December 27, 2009, 12:42:22 am
I was trying to build a well from a river by building a 4x4 area that would be channeled through.

It took me half a season to realize why my miners were doing absolutely nothing: I built a 2-tile wide channel all the way to the river and they dug out the first 2 tiles and didn't have a way to dig out the rest.

I end up mining out the sides of that and it took me another half a season to figure out how to install a floodgate properly. The dwarf that ended up building the floodgate ended up on the WRONG side (surprise) and it took about 2 days for whoever was going to pull the lever to actually PULL it.

At this point, I was putting up walls in all the entry points so it wouldn't flood my fortress. I was confident that I would have a functioning well so I opened up the passageway.

Did I mention that the river was on the same level as my well?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Omegastick on December 27, 2009, 10:01:38 am
When after years of playing the game I finally realised that you herbalists can gather plants. So many fortresses lost to starvation because I couldn't find the underground river.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kyronea on December 27, 2009, 01:17:51 pm
"Oh, hey, look, there's a caravan to test my drowning chamber on!"

"...why are the corpses in the drowning chamber dwarves? ...ah, crap."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: puke on December 27, 2009, 06:55:39 pm
okay, this particular face palm was when i was just beginning to post a new bug report.  it went like this:

Quote
40d16 -- up/down stairs become down stairs.

new embark, carved out a small room and some up/down stairs.  im sure it was successfull, because i mistook my yellow X cursor as an extra set of othoclase up/down stairs.

a short time later while the walls of that room were being smoothed and the ramps leading up the outside of the hill were being removed...  shit.  nevermind.

lesson:  becareful when block-designating stair and ramp removal - unlike other designations it does not highlight the target objects.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rorax on December 27, 2009, 06:59:45 pm
Today I decided to challange my self and play on a Terrifying forest for the first time. It has river and lots of trees.
While I was happily creating the first inches of my fortress in the lovely blacksand top layer, I was thinking to my self "Hey Terrifying locations totally arn't that bad, so the entire forest is dead ashwood, so what!"

I then get the message "(tame) dog has died" And I'm thinking "Oooo! my first visitors" you see, I had a dog tied up outside as a early warning system, I then proceed to go see who is knocking at my door, and I see a familar fish symbol.

A horde, of this familar fish symbol.

I had forgotten that undead fish like to go for walks on land.

So I think "I can solve this" and unleash my pack of war dogs. who were quickly reduced to kibble.
So I think "I can rectify this!" and draft my dwarves and send them to beat back the advancing horde of fish. The dwarves it's safe to say were not the victors. with only one survivor that stumbled back to a bed.

I was horribly confused, why on earth were undead fish capable of such carnage?

So i finally decided to loo(k) at them. And suddenly, it was as if a fatherly hand rested on my shoulder to reassure me "It's ok, you never stood a chance" and lo! a great weight was lifted.

Carp.

Undead, Carp.

A horde of undead Carp.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fossaman on December 27, 2009, 08:29:43 pm
So. I just learned that screw pumps will not push their output up to the surface of a large body of water; instead they just don't pump. I was rather disappointed with this, as it meant I had to redesign the drainage system for my water portcullis, and added a half hour to the fill time for my giant lake.

At least I discovered that windmills do work underwater, and the impassable square of a screw pump blocks water from above as well as the sides. That would have been a real facepalm if they hadn't.

EDIT: Okay, now I have a real facepalm. I just finished filling a rather large resevoir with water, right? So I decided it would be a laugh to introduce said water into my fort at high pressure, then process-kill to go back to before the carnage.

My autosave decided that this was a good time to overwrite my game. Now I'm back a year before I decided it would be fun to flood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TrueAnkh on December 28, 2009, 03:15:34 am
In my new fortress, I had a ridiculous chain of bad luck within about 10 minutes of each other.

It's 2 years in and the beginning of the third year in spring. My 33-dwarf fortress is doing fine, with making the barracks tower and the defensive moat/traps/defensive walls.

After a fey mood the year before which required absolutely no multitasking, the second one became possessed and clained a mason's workshop. First facepalm of the day came when I noticed that they say everything they need for their artifact in the Q menu. I only saw that he needed stone, so I used reveal (which is the only reason I had it on) to find what stone I didn't have.

All the stone I could see were mined somewhere else (not counting metal/ore/gems of course), but then I checked back and saw he needed cloth and gems.

Considering that every gem I could find with reveal was nowhere near anyplace already mined out and considering that he only got a stone and I have almost every cloth that I can import or know how to make, I simply labelled him as a lost cause and put my 3-man marksdwarf army to shoot him down when he'd go insane.

Somewhat later on, I decided to build a well. I already had the moat finished, so it was simple to channel some close to the main entrance. What I didn't consider, well...
(http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s109/OmegasGiev/IdiotDorf.jpg)
Human caravans are at my trade depot, so I send my broker to go trade there. I check back to find out that he's not there. Guess where he is?
(http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s109/OmegasGiev/IdiotDorf2.jpg)
My trader is about to drown because of his own stupidity and I'm going to lose a legendary miner as well because of it.
And to add insult to injury, I wasted a lot of training time on my marksdwarves as the dwarf in a strange mood went stark raving mad, the harmless insanity.

Someone shoot me.

EDIT: I also can't get Dwarf Companion to work either... It would've helped me figure out what exactly he wanted.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on December 28, 2009, 10:30:35 am
Yea, I had that happen once where I was channeling a brook or river or whatever and the liason decided it was a good idea to stand on the channel designation and so ended up falling into the river and drowned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on December 28, 2009, 06:22:53 pm
DC only works on Straight 40d, not the 40D# series. If you want to use it, you'll have to transfer your savr if you're using one of those.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TwilightWalker on December 28, 2009, 07:26:04 pm
Quote from: Lord Shonus on December 28, 2009, 06:22:53 pm
DC only works on Straight 40d, not the 40D# series. If you want to use it, you'll have to transfer your savr if you're using one of those.

Might want to go check up on that...I have DC and 40d16, and it works just fine.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sphalerite on December 28, 2009, 07:35:18 pm
DC does work with 40d#, provided you have the right version of DC.  Each revision of 40d# required an updates release to DC, so if you have an old version of DC you will need to upgrade.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Safe-Keeper on December 28, 2009, 09:24:43 pm
I've been demolishing walls to build fortifications for the longest time. I only recently discovered the "Carve fortifications" option.

Edit: That is, I always knew it was there, but it was only recently that I figured out it actually worked. Until I looked it up on the Wiki, I thought it was for digging fortifications out of rock (you know, like carving staircases and channels).

 ::)


Quote
My trader is about to drown because of his own stupidity and I'm going to lose a legendary miner as well because of it.
You didn't have time to build an emergency staircase, and there was no way to dump the water by channel into a reservoir or anything?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gopa4 on December 29, 2009, 12:51:30 am
Not exactly your typical facepalm. So I build a flourishing thriving pulsing fort. I'm quiet proud of it, but after several years I grow bored. Turns out theres not a single animal on the map, with the every so often siege. So I decide to start my own Fun, I have around 20 or so captured goblins, 2 dragons, one who spawned incredibly injured, and one goblin macelord. I rig all of the cages up in my barracks, with a few in my dinning room. Thinking, hey I get to start my own tantrum spiral of death  8)  ;D. What I didn't take into account was my fortress/royal guard, who had been training for ages and had become legendary wrestlers and marksdwarves. They wipe out 19 goblins and both dragons, I imediately diactivate them, so all thats left is a goblin and the goblin mace lord. He ends up just scarying my dwarves and breaking a pinky. I drown the fort later for my cheated deaths.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Euld on December 29, 2009, 02:16:34 am
Lost my immigrant cook, my first legendary miner, and a champion to a goblin ambush.  Another champion was injured and has gone to bed with one yellow wound.  All because I built an underground pathway to the mountains to a smidgen of forest, and the goblins finally got the sense to walk through it before the traps were up and before I could make set of decent armors for my dwarves.

Why do I always lost one of my seven first T.T

On the plus side, one of my living champions got a title, she is now known as 'El Death' Knifegrooved the Rhythmic Will of Sanctuary.  I typically give my military dwarves "El something" names.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sphalerite on December 29, 2009, 10:11:51 am
Today I discovered that dwarves will build floor adjacent to floor hatches, which will then collapse.  I knew this would happen with bridges, but didn't know it happened with floor hatches too, and so wasn't careful when building a complex system of floors and hatches to make sure everything was built in the right order.  The resulting cave-in punched through half a dozen levels of dining room and crafting hall, and was only stopped from reaching the cistern by a wall in just the right place.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PhilbertFlange on December 29, 2009, 12:49:11 pm
I had embarked on a nice shallow hills area with a half exposed magma pipe at the surface. After creating a nice deep fortress, I decided to expand my magma forges area to add about 5 glass furnaces. I start channeling away the ground and letting the magma flow into it (planning on covering most of it with flooring before putting the furnaces down).

About a minute after doing so, I start getting flooded with "dangerous terrain" messages. I check the specifics in the announcements to see the following:
Urist McChampionSwordsdwarf cancels spar: dangerous terrain x5
Urist McChampionHammerdwarf cancels spar: dangerous terrain x5
Urist McChampionAxedwarf cancels spar: dangerous terrain x5
Urist McChampionMacedwarf cancels spar: dangerous terrain x5
Urist McChampionCrossbowdwarf cancels shoot at archery range: dangerous terrain x5

Yeah, I had been running long enough that my military consisted of 25 squads of 5 champions in a different weapon, including 5 champion crossbow dwarves.

Turns out I had channeled over the edge of my archery range/barracks where all these off duty squads were practicing. Needless to say the few deaths from magma caused an instant tantrum spiral as my steel clad champions who were friends of the deceased proceeded to rip through the civilians in a few seconds. >_<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: InsanityPrelude on December 29, 2009, 02:04:49 pm
One of my masons walled herself onto a ledge... right as a siege started. Since no one would deconstruct a piece of the fortification with orcs nearby, she died of thirst.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on December 29, 2009, 05:10:21 pm
Quote from: Fossaman on December 27, 2009, 08:29:43 pm
At least I discovered that windmills do work underwater
This... I... I have no words.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tcei on December 29, 2009, 06:09:33 pm
So I finaly found a new spot that Im happy with. Its a lake bordering a mounting. I have some very nice sheer cliffs to dig into, The only way to get to them, without digging down first of course was to go down to the narrow strech of land between the magma pipe and the lake and build a bridge to the wall. Did I mention that the denizens of said pipe are very edgy? They are.  After I channeled off the pipe I built a depot near by on the safe side of the channel and continued work on the bridge and getting my fort carved out. Up until this point I'd never had any issue at all between the magma creatures (holy cow firemen are fast!) and my dwarves, until the first caravan arives and sets up in my temporary depot.

 Apparently this one flame spider really really hates wagons, for it one-shotted one, thankfuly nothing caught on fire, but the rest of the caravan left. No big deal, I got some booze which I desperately needed and some other free stuff from the dead wagon, including a ton of steel armor and weapons. All goes well for about half a season. Then about 40 macaques arrive and swarm over where the dead wagon is/was and steal every last fricken piece of steal armor and weapon that dropped from the caravan...... Guess I forgot to make an armor and weapons stockpile -_-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on December 29, 2009, 06:16:10 pm
If a caravan gets killed it's tough to haul all of it, unless you have a bin surplus. This surplus generally won't happen for about 5 years from founding...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lukas on December 30, 2009, 01:17:20 am
I got really worried today, since my only miner (I only have one pickaxe) wouldn't dig out all designated areas I had set. I researched what ores made what metals to produce another pickaxe, I tried getting a metalworking system started, etc. I got very worried since I kept running into dead ends on possible solutions to the problem, and thought I would have to wait out a caravan to bring me a pickaxe, which would have completely stunted my fortress growth and my work on defenses. Turns out I accidentally deselected mining for him. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thanshin on December 31, 2009, 04:53:49 am
I disembark and watch my surroundings.

The cart is in a ery nice place, next to a brook and right inbetween a sand + coal wall and a magnetite + aluminum wall.

I think "yahoo! metal!", and decide to start my fort on the magnetite wall.

...

Yes, I dug in the hard surface, destroying the materials with my unexperienced miners instead of building a fast cozy entrance on the sand.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: InsanityPrelude on December 31, 2009, 02:22:21 pm
Another siege. It was all going fine until the very end, when a bunch of dwarves decided to go grab something off the top of a partially-built tower. I didn't know orcish bowmen could shoot two z-levels above themselves!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TrueAnkh on December 31, 2009, 03:48:35 pm
2 goblin ambushes with about 8 goblins attacked at about the same time, and I didn't even notice until 3 of my dwarves died :P

It was a total mess afterwards. My defense at this point is a retractable bridge (it was down right then) in a moat completely surrounding my fortress with a bunch of stonefall traps. The entrance to my fortress is 2 big walled rooms (the entrace/trade depot and the well from last page ._.) since there's no mountains for me to dig in.

There was a thief at the start who got injured by a stonefall trap and was just hobbling a few feet and falling unconsious over and over again. I send my military to go catch him (they are very good at doing nothing when they're supposed to be on duty) and find there's a goblin siege. I put an order for only soldiers to go outside, but a bunch of peasants and other dwarves with actual skills go out and try to either bury the ones already dead or to get the items they had, which resulted in 2 more deaths.

My army is of 9 marksdwarves and 2 of them died to defeat the rest of the goblins and only one escaped.

50 dwarves turned to 43 ._. I wish the game paused to tell me about the first ambush
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on January 01, 2010, 01:29:56 pm
Quote from: TrueAnkh on December 31, 2009, 03:48:35 pm
I wish the game paused to tell me about the first ambush

It normally does: "An ambush! Curse them!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Djohaal on January 01, 2010, 03:04:52 pm
Making a hole in the floor to allow water acess on my barracks and forgetting to add a grate. The soldiers sparred and fell in my cistern...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Euld on January 01, 2010, 04:03:21 pm
Reloaded an old fortress to try out something, and remembered the reason I stopped playing this fortress was because my crossbowdwarves weren't training with their crossbows and nothing was going to make them start.  Then I checked their inventory... every single one had something else in their hands  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dorfus on January 01, 2010, 04:05:07 pm
My favourite champion, legendary hammerdwarf, about 60 notable kills, runs after a kobold wrestler. The wrestler sprints to the nearby magma pipe and simply plops my champion in. He burns for about 2 seconds (which I was impressed with). Wrestler was totally unharmed. Now all my engravings are of him burning. I've quit that fort now, I got so upset :( The facepalm is not walling off the damn pipe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on January 01, 2010, 04:09:30 pm
That is some smart fighting (by the kobold, not the hammerdwarf).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dorfus on January 01, 2010, 04:12:21 pm
I like to imagine he stuck a leg out as the steel clad artifact hammer wielding dwarf rushed towards him with great speed. It was amusing, but terribly upsetting since I loved that dwarf, now he doesn't even get a proper burial.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ungulateman on January 02, 2010, 06:50:51 am
Frying in the blood of Armok is a good enough death for ANY warrior. Especially your champion hammerdwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bmaczero on January 02, 2010, 03:54:34 pm
I just discovered that you have to process turtles in a fishery before they can be eaten.

According to my stocks, I have 658 raw turtles.

*facepalm*

*sets craftsdwarf's workshop to repeat on shell crafts*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kidiri on January 02, 2010, 05:47:45 pm
Quote from: bmaczero on January 02, 2010, 03:54:34 pm
I just discovered that you have to process turtles in a fishery before they can be eaten.

According to my stocks, I have 658 raw turtles.

*facepalm*

*sets craftsdwarf's workshop to repeat on shell crafts*
You have to process any vermin-fish. And since this isn't doen automatically (yet, next releas will do it) I hardly ever mine for fish.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on January 02, 2010, 06:27:24 pm
You sure? I thought it was done automatically as long as you had a fishery and your fisher had fish-cleaning on. That said, I don't really fish myself either, but for different reasons: it isn't sustainable, as far as I know.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bmaczero on January 02, 2010, 06:38:27 pm
I didn't even have a fishery when I realized it, so perhaps it is done automatically.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on January 02, 2010, 06:46:50 pm
Quote from: assimilateur on January 02, 2010, 06:27:24 pm
You sure? I thought it was done automatically as long as you had a fishery and your fisher had fish-cleaning on. That said, I don't really fish myself either, but for different reasons: it isn't sustainable, as far as I know.
It is not. You need to queue up clean-fish (generally one just pops one in on repeat, does again if they notice more unprepared fish)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on January 02, 2010, 06:57:28 pm
I see. I was gonna say that sucks, because it's inconsistent with how butchering, tanning, etc. works, but then again that's not much of a problem either.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kidiri on January 03, 2010, 07:36:31 am
Quote from: assimilateur on January 02, 2010, 06:57:28 pm
I see. I was gonna say that sucks, because it's inconsistent with how butchering, tanning, etc. works, but then again that's not much of a problem either.
Exactly, which is why Toady's fixed it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fishbulb on January 03, 2010, 09:18:41 am
Don't I remember reading that the same change is going to apply to rendering fat into tallow? Right now, corpses are auto-butchered and hides are auto-tanned, and in the next release, fish and fat are supposed to be similarly auto-processed into their usable forms. I think.

Take care when using the (default on) auto-loom thread feature, though. I had a clother go moody and demand silk thread one time, all of which had been auto-loomed into cloth already. He didn't make it to the autumn caravan. Five dwarves died because I stupidly forgot to lock the door to his workshop, and they rushed in to re-stockpile the mats he'd collected prior to going berserk.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kidiri on January 03, 2010, 09:38:12 am
Quote from: Fishbulb on January 03, 2010, 09:18:41 am
Don't I remember reading that the same change is going to apply to rendering fat into tallow? Right now, corpses are auto-butchered and hides are auto-tanned, and in the next release, fish and fat are supposed to be similarly auto-processed into their usable forms. I think.
You think correctly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on January 03, 2010, 01:43:50 pm
Quote from: Fishbulb on January 03, 2010, 09:18:41 am
Take care when using the (default on) auto-loom thread feature, though. I had a clother go moody and demand silk thread one time, all of which had been auto-loomed into cloth already.

I don't think that was your problem. You must have been lacking the type of silk he needed (they can be very particular about needing either cave spider or giant cave spider silk), and this wasn't because you had made everything into cloth, because thread isn't ever used for any end-products.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sir Andrew Ryan Farnsley on January 03, 2010, 02:21:42 pm
I built a fortress that went entirely underground except for the massive tower from which my archers would rain crossbow based death down on anybody stupid enough to ignore the "Leave us alone" hints. I started to divert my river to become a moat by digging channels. I got to one section and my moat quit filling. I ignored it for a while and kept digging. I later went to check on my archers in training. Turns out my moat wouldn't fill because I dug it through my archery range that was now half full of water.

The good new? My dwarves kept training despite the thousands of gallons of water pouring into the range. And I got a wall up and my dwarves out before it flooded the rest of my fortress
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fishbulb on January 03, 2010, 03:19:50 pm
Quote from: assimilateur on January 03, 2010, 01:43:50 pm
I don't think that was your problem. You must have been lacking the type of silk he needed (they can be very particular about needing either cave spider or giant cave spider silk), and this wasn't because you had made everything into cloth, because thread isn't ever used for any end-products.

Oh, really? He was doing the mumbly thing and asking for thread, but I guess that meant cloth. Whichever kind I didn't have. Naturally.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on January 03, 2010, 03:28:23 pm
Well, check the wiki on strange moods, it suggests that thread isn't what's used, that it's cloth. Also, the fact that thread itself isn't generally used for anything, it's sort of a raw material for cloth, like raw hides are for tanned leather, serves as a further hint for that being the case. Means you just lacked the specific type of cloth he needed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jack_Bread on January 03, 2010, 03:43:04 pm
I use DF Companion when my dungeon master arriver to kill admin ambusers so he can get in.
I paused and thought about what I had done. So I had abandoned fort.
(Or more like, I left, copied the save and the object file into another folder and removed admins.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bluea on January 03, 2010, 06:49:05 pm
It would be quite handy if the "Auto-X" features had an "Ignore five pieces" setting. (Other than the things that spoil.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cody1750 on January 03, 2010, 10:14:53 pm
Quote from: assimilateur on January 03, 2010, 01:43:50 pm
I don't think that was your problem. You must have been lacking the type of silk he needed (they can be very particular about needing either cave spider or giant cave spider silk), and this wasn't because you had made everything into cloth, because thread isn't ever used for any end-products.

Don't forget the Giant Wolf Spider and phantom spider silk.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on January 03, 2010, 10:29:25 pm
I'm pretty sure the former isn't in the game at all, and the latter gives the same type of silk as "small" cave spiders. Of course, I'm talking about vanilla here.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Innominate on January 03, 2010, 11:07:35 pm
Quote from: Fishbulb on January 03, 2010, 09:18:41 am
Don't I remember reading that the same change is going to apply to rendering fat into tallow? Right now, corpses are auto-butchered and hides are auto-tanned, and in the next release, fish and fat are supposed to be similarly auto-processed into their usable forms. I think.

Take care when using the (default on) auto-loom thread feature, though. I had a clother go moody and demand silk thread one time, all of which had been auto-loomed into cloth already. He didn't make it to the autumn caravan. Five dwarves died because I stupidly forgot to lock the door to his workshop, and they rushed in to re-stockpile the mats he'd collected prior to going berserk.
Dwarves, according to the wiki, don't demand a specific type of silk. Rather, he probably wanted plant fibre cloth.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on January 04, 2010, 12:01:27 am
Quote from: assimilateur on January 03, 2010, 10:29:25 pm
I'm pretty sure the former isn't in the game at all, and the latter gives the same type of silk as "small" cave spiders. Of course, I'm talking about vanilla here.
Same value, but not same type.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Taco Dan on January 04, 2010, 03:40:54 am
Quote from: assimilateur on January 03, 2010, 10:29:25 pm
I'm pretty sure the former isn't in the game at all
Cave spider (http://dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Cave_spider)
Giant cave spider (http://dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Giant_cave_spider)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on January 04, 2010, 03:50:29 am
Quote from: Taco Dan on January 04, 2010, 03:40:54 am
Quote from: assimilateur on January 03, 2010, 10:29:25 pm
I'm pretty sure the former isn't in the game at all
Cave spider (http://dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Cave_spider)
Giant cave spider (http://dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Giant_cave_spider)

By "former" I meant giant wolf spiders, which I don't remember ever encountering or even reading about.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheDJ17 on January 04, 2010, 04:43:25 pm
Giant Wolf Spiders are modded in, the only giant spider in Vanilla is the Giant Cave Spider.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cody1750 on January 04, 2010, 04:49:18 pm
That's odd, I didn't know there were any modded animals in Mike Mayday tileset.

Edit:
I found out where there from.   The orc mod had some animals that weren't in Vanilla.  Thought it just included orcs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on January 04, 2010, 05:08:16 pm
Quote from: Cody1750 on January 04, 2010, 04:49:18 pm
That's odd, I didn't know there were any modded animals in Mike Mayday tileset.

I play Mayday's DF as well, and I've never heard of those giant wolf spiders you mention.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sphalerite on January 04, 2010, 06:13:59 pm
Today's facepalm:

When you have a single lever set to both raise a drawbridge and open some doors, the doors will open before the drawbridge raises.  This can cause massive flooding if you're using the lever to fill and drain water into a room attached to the bottom of your cistern.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Graven on January 05, 2010, 03:02:41 am
I'm just going to leave this here...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Yey, finally a terrifying biome with a magma pit, a river and no aquifer! Man, am I a lucky guy, or what, eh? I'll just pause right after the embark and look around a bit, but I think I won't bother looking at the starting location, I just need to find a nice spot to dig the entrance to my future... "

*Everyone you've ever known in this world has died, hurrrrrrr!*

Turns out skeletal carp are quite an inquisitive and friendly species, running out to greet their new neighbours at the first sign of arrival.


edit : grammer iz gud

Re-edit : VVV "Those are no fish bones... those are battlestations!"

Sorry... had to say it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doomshifter on January 05, 2010, 04:12:27 am
"Catten, why are those fish bones moving?"
"I think we should leave."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Loyal on January 05, 2010, 03:20:29 pm
I've got one.

I was carving out a small 'forward base' of sorts down near an underground river, so that when I opened it up my soldiers patrolling the area wouldn't have to walk hundreds of tiles every time they got hungry or thirsty (or switched shifts). I was carving out a passage for a well, and just after I dug out the tile to let the water INTO the passage, I noticed that the miner in question had been trapped by the water and was running down to the end of the passage (as opposed to walking up the stairs I had put there for just that purpose).

I think, annoying, but no big problem, I'll just have him dig his way out, then seal it up. And... well.
(http://i50.tinypic.com/2wmj19e.gif)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NRN_R_Sumo1 on January 05, 2010, 04:37:01 pm
drinking while performing dorfy engineering.

The leafy landscapes were a tad.. warmer.. after that

I still have never managed to get a fully functional magma gate.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kyronea on January 05, 2010, 06:14:16 pm
Quote from: Loyal on January 05, 2010, 03:20:29 pm
I've got one.

I was carving out a small 'forward base' of sorts down near an underground river, so that when I opened it up my soldiers patrolling the area wouldn't have to walk hundreds of tiles every time they got hungry or thirsty (or switched shifts). I was carving out a passage for a well, and just after I dug out the tile to let the water INTO the passage, I noticed that the miner in question had been trapped by the water and was running down to the end of the passage (as opposed to walking up the stairs I had put there for just that purpose).

I think, annoying, but no big problem, I'll just have him dig his way out, then seal it up. And... well.
(http://i50.tinypic.com/2wmj19e.gif)

Is said dwarf easily discouraged? If so, it makes sense. "Bah, screw trying to dig stairs while under many gallons of rushing water. I'll just succumb to mah fate."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on January 06, 2010, 12:08:56 am
their political-text content differs. ANYWAY.

Digging into frozen magmacap losing dwarf to the pipe going "Hey, free space! *bubble*"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: synthmon on January 06, 2010, 07:57:43 am
Maybe not so much a moment such as an entire facepalming session, but w/e.

Thinking, "Oh, there's barrels and barrels of food left, screw digging out somewhere to farm", I sat around and fiddled with beds and cisterns and what have you until all the beer ran out.
Since the map was absolutely devoid of water, I rushed off the nearest idle dwarf to build a still and told some other blokes to get plants for it. Not quite quickly enough however; two of the dwarves succumbed to thirst long before the farms bore fruit. I managed to get quite desperate and set the brewing to constant repeat, making my previously idle dwarf the busiest one in the fort. Unfortunately, it also turned out he was the expedition leader - so when my star miner got pissed about friendly deaths, he kept following the busiest dwarf in the fort around without the least chance to have a meeting.
So much so that Mr Miner got into a hissing fit and knocked the brewer into the wall, crushing his left arm. As the expedition leader lay in his bed with Mr Miner constantly by his side, I was left with three dwarves to keep up with farming, brewing, and caring for the wounded. Which was difficult, given that there was no water.

Here's to forethought!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NRN_R_Sumo1 on January 06, 2010, 08:39:23 am
I just found out that you can build wells above water, as in, with space inbetween.
I thought it had to float on top of it.. I've been spending all this time making massive pumping systems to bring water to differant layers..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: wallie79r on January 06, 2010, 02:31:22 pm
Not quite a facepalm, but nonethless glorious. Playing with the Unleashed Mod, got attacked by a Mephansteras, a scary insectoid megabeast. My military has recently suffered some setbacks, so I seal the fort. The Mephansteras, who happens to go by the name of Abare Phantomfight the Abyssal Fist, blunders into my trading post and starts slaughtering merchants. Somehow, the caravan guards manage to cut out both of his eyes and exhaust him. I, sensing an opportunity, open the gates and send out my military, consisting entirely of poorly-trained swords and marksdwarves. The battle has now been going on for almost a season, as my militia is completely incapable of wounding the beast and Abare is too blind and too sleepy to be useful. I haven't lost any dwarves yet, but one of my fighters is starting to get a little dehydrated. Abare has 8 bolts and spears stuck in various parts of his anatomy, none of which has accomplished anything. Suggestions?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sproingie on January 06, 2010, 02:33:26 pm
Quote from: NRN_R_Sumo1 on January 06, 2010, 08:39:23 am
I just found out that you can build wells above water, as in, with space inbetween.

Actually, don't you have to build them that way?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkflagrance on January 06, 2010, 03:10:47 pm
Quote from: sproingie on January 06, 2010, 02:33:26 pm
Quote from: NRN_R_Sumo1 on January 06, 2010, 08:39:23 am
I just found out that you can build wells above water, as in, with space inbetween.

Actually, don't you have to build them that way?


You can build them the z-level right above the water (or above empty space), it's just he didn't realize the wells didn't always have to be exactly the level above the water.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NRN_R_Sumo1 on January 06, 2010, 04:10:29 pm
Yeah it just never clicked to me that the bucket and rope would be making a trip down to the water, instead I was thinking of it like any other well in a video game.

Granted, no other video game of management has more than 2-3 z levels.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sproingie on January 06, 2010, 04:55:30 pm
Is it still the case that deeper wells are somehow more appealing?

Mind you I stopped caring about appeal for wells a while ago, since I prefer they stay the hell out of there unless they need to fetch water for a wounded dorf.  I have a half-dozen Urist McTimmy corpses in that cistern.  I do still keep one z-level for a buffer against overflow in case my shutoff system malfunctions.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jokermatt999 on January 06, 2010, 05:33:24 pm
I made myself a nice artificial lake by diverting a brook. It's 6 Z-levels deep, but about 2 screens tall. So, a nice sized lake, with tons of water, and flow from a brook. I decide I'm going to try that "drain through a fortification on the edge" trick I've heard about. I channel out 3 fortifications, because I'm being careful not to wind up with too much flow through there. That could cause flooding!

So, I dig myself a nice 1 tile drainage hallway, leading up to those fortifications. I had some stairs near the fortifications, so I could start work on it. I set up a door with a lever, so I could stop the flow if need be. This was definitely a good idea.

I pulled the lever, and I thought the game froze. I glance at the FPS, and it's dropped from 100 to 6. Something has clearly gone wrong. I edge over to the drain, and I see it's already entirely filled, instantly, with water. Suddenly, I start getting cave in messages from my nearby magma pipe.

I'd forgotten entirely that the drain point was 7 z-levels lower than the top of the lake. The massive water pressure instantly flooded the entire bottom right corner of my map, and sealed off the volcano. It was awesome.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bmaczero on January 06, 2010, 06:55:57 pm
Quote from: wallie79r on January 06, 2010, 02:31:22 pm
Not quite a facepalm, but nonethless glorious. Playing with the Unleashed Mod, got attacked by a Mephansteras, a scary insectoid megabeast. My military has recently suffered some setbacks, so I seal the fort. The Mephansteras, who happens to go by the name of Abare Phantomfight the Abyssal Fist, blunders into my trading post and starts slaughtering merchants. Somehow, the caravan guards manage to cut out both of his eyes and exhaust him. I, sensing an opportunity, open the gates and send out my military, consisting entirely of poorly-trained swords and marksdwarves. The battle has now been going on for almost a season, as my militia is completely incapable of wounding the beast and Abare is too blind and too sleepy to be useful. I haven't lost any dwarves yet, but one of my fighters is starting to get a little dehydrated. Abare has 8 bolts and spears stuck in various parts of his anatomy, none of which has accomplished anything. Suggestions?
Cage trap.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on January 06, 2010, 08:00:48 pm
Don't think that works on civ forge megas.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 06, 2010, 08:10:53 pm
The way I see your situation (Mephansteras), it seems that it is just serving the purpose of training dummy to your dwarves. Exploit that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkflagrance on January 06, 2010, 09:41:07 pm
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on January 06, 2010, 08:10:53 pm
The way I see your situation (Mephansteras), it seems that it is just serving the purpose of training dummy to your dwarves. Exploit that.

I don't know if it's possible to cause dwarves to break off attacking unless they somehow lose sight of the enemy, which could be a problem. Sometimes they'll even ignore starvation or thirst to keep going.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on January 06, 2010, 10:04:46 pm
So much for having a live, indestructible training dummy, huh?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mal7690 on January 06, 2010, 10:33:25 pm
Quote from: darkflagrance on January 06, 2010, 09:41:07 pm
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on January 06, 2010, 08:10:53 pm
The way I see your situation (Mephansteras), it seems that it is just serving the purpose of training dummy to your dwarves. Exploit that.

I don't know if it's possible to cause dwarves to break off attacking unless they somehow lose sight of the enemy, which could be a problem. Sometimes they'll even ignore starvation or thirst to keep going.

Disable the military for those dwarves.  Until they are champions, they'll immediately change from "Monster! Kill it!" to "Monster! Run away!," run to a safe place, then go eat and drink as they say "Hey! I'm sober and hungry!  I need to fix that!" 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Loyal on January 07, 2010, 02:22:27 am
I believe if you set their squad orders to "Stays close to station" they'll ignore any monsters not near their station/patrol points.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: milaga on January 07, 2010, 07:07:36 am
Quote from: sproingie on January 06, 2010, 04:55:30 pm
Mind you I stopped caring about appeal for wells a while ago, since I prefer they stay the hell out of there unless they need to fetch water for a wounded dorf.  I have a half-dozen Urist McTimmy corpses in that cistern.  I do still keep one z-level for a buffer against overflow in case my shutoff system malfunctions.

Maybe I am extraordinarily lucky but I don't think I have EVER had a dwarf fall down a well. Maybe once, although it was a long time ago. I was expanding my waterways by channeling so I can't rule out the fact that he had the ground channeled out from under him. I even do everything you are not supposed to do with a well. I put it on the surface, near a statue garden and an armor rack so there are constantly partying, vomiting and sparring dwarves tumbling around the thing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cardinal on January 07, 2010, 01:33:40 pm
Quote from: wallie79r on January 06, 2010, 02:31:22 pm
Suggestions?

Uhhhhhhhhmagma?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Arrkhal on January 07, 2010, 07:40:19 pm
Finally figured out a couple weeks ago how to move past stationary guys in Adventure mode.  Go prone, crawl past.  I already knew that critters have to drop prone to occupy the same space as someone standing, but never put 2 and 2 together.  Doh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Carpman on January 07, 2010, 09:23:59 pm
I recently decided to put a well into my barracks, so wounded dwarves would get water a soon as they needed it. Right? Wrong. Two seconds after the well was installed, a champion wrestler decided to take the first bath of his life and dive into the 3 z-level deep well. As he floundered about on the bottom level, I hatched a daring plan. I sent my best miner to dig a series of ramps down to the base of the well. Then, he tapped a hole wide enough into the tank for the champion to crawl back up onto dry land. The miner made it too, and I decided he would face a grand funeral when he finally fell in battle (I always draft my miners when under siege).

Then he fell into magma and died, setting off a tantum spiral started by the champion he saved.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Euld on January 08, 2010, 04:56:06 pm
Still learning how to break through aquifers.

/facepalm /facepalm /facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xdarkcodex on January 08, 2010, 06:04:44 pm
I gave up on building well.I tries many times and all the times I fail. One of the fort was around 10 years which is pretty high for me since i like killing my dwarfs. I got bored and decided to make a well but I ended up flooding the stockpile floor than the bedrooms and than the workshop floor...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fist_Of_Armok on January 08, 2010, 06:36:24 pm
Quote from: xdarkcodex on January 08, 2010, 06:04:44 pm
I gave up on building well.I tries many times and all the times I fail. One of the fort was around 10 years which is pretty high for me since i like killing my dwarfs. I got bored and decided to make a well but I ended up flooding the stockpile floor than the bedrooms and than the workshop floor...

Errr...alright, how did you fail at this task? Explain to me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on January 08, 2010, 07:04:04 pm
Quote from: Fist_Of_Armok on January 08, 2010, 06:36:24 pm
Quote from: xdarkcodex on January 08, 2010, 06:04:44 pm
I gave up on building well.I tries many times and all the times I fail. One of the fort was around 10 years which is pretty high for me since i like killing my dwarfs. I got bored and decided to make a well but I ended up flooding the stockpile floor than the bedrooms and than the workshop floor...

Errr...alright, how did you fail at this task? Explain to me.
Well, first he started on a map with water.

Second, he wasn't scared into a corner by it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Percival on January 08, 2010, 07:11:15 pm
I found the blue rock and immediately began preparing for the demands of the incoming king. I have royal apartments and a mausoleum carved out already, but . . . I forgot that my Dwarven Civ happens to be run by a Goblin Queen. Ah well. I can cage her and turn the throne room into a royal zoo.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cardinal on January 08, 2010, 07:44:28 pm
Quote from: Percival on January 08, 2010, 07:11:15 pm
...a royal zoo.

Wow, most royal zoos are zoos for royals, not zoos of royals.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zchris13 on January 08, 2010, 08:12:31 pm
You haven't seen our zoos.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xdarkcodex on January 08, 2010, 10:31:59 pm
Quote from: Fist_Of_Armok on January 08, 2010, 06:36:24 pm
Quote from: xdarkcodex on January 08, 2010, 06:04:44 pm
I gave up on building well.I tries many times and all the times I fail. One of the fort was around 10 years which is pretty high for me since i like killing my dwarfs. I got bored and decided to make a well but I ended up flooding the stockpile floor than the bedrooms and than the workshop floor...

Errr...alright, how did you fail at this task? Explain to me.
When I dig channel I usually dont check do see whats under the soon to be channel so I dug the channel and under it was my fortress which got flooded by an endless amount of water.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendus on January 09, 2010, 12:37:58 am
Quote from: darkflagrance on January 06, 2010, 09:41:07 pm
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on January 06, 2010, 08:10:53 pm
The way I see your situation (Mephansteras), it seems that it is just serving the purpose of training dummy to your dwarves. Exploit that.

I don't know if it's possible to cause dwarves to break off attacking unless they somehow lose sight of the enemy, which could be a problem. Sometimes they'll even ignore starvation or thirst to keep going.

You can undraft them. When they hit legendary, odds are they'll be able to hurt it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on January 09, 2010, 02:11:14 am
Quote from: xdarkcodex on January 08, 2010, 10:31:59 pm
Quote from: Fist_Of_Armok on January 08, 2010, 06:36:24 pm
Quote from: xdarkcodex on January 08, 2010, 06:04:44 pm
I gave up on building well.I tries many times and all the times I fail. One of the fort was around 10 years which is pretty high for me since i like killing my dwarfs. I got bored and decided to make a well but I ended up flooding the stockpile floor than the bedrooms and than the workshop floor...

Errr...alright, how did you fail at this task? Explain to me.
When I dig channel I usually dont check do see whats under the soon to be channel so I dug the channel and under it was my fortress which got flooded by an endless amount of water.
Ah. I always check first, and lay out my moats and wells based on what's under them. Plus, of course, I build wells over cisterns fed from a river. The only times I seriously worry about being flooded out are when I forget about open spaces and diagonal waterflow.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuyonBroadway on January 09, 2010, 09:57:17 am
"You know i might just make an obsidian tower!"

La la laaaa oohhh there's the vent!

*Happily sets up obsidian factory*

"Doing all this on the first seven dwarfs. I dunno why people say it's hard!"

*fire imp pops up to say hi!*


*FACEPALM!*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mal7690 on January 09, 2010, 10:51:52 am
Quote from: GuyonBroadway on January 09, 2010, 09:57:17 am
"You know i might just make an obsidian tower!"

La la laaaa oohhh there's the vent!

*Happily sets up obsidian factory*

"Doing all this on the first seven dwarfs. I dunno why people say it's hard!"

*fire imp pops up to say hi!*


*FACEPALM!*

This is why all of my starting miners are also masons.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Taco Dan on January 09, 2010, 12:44:35 pm
Quote from: darthbob88 on January 09, 2010, 02:11:14 am
Quote from: xdarkcodex on January 08, 2010, 10:31:59 pm
Quote from: Fist_Of_Armok on January 08, 2010, 06:36:24 pm
Quote from: xdarkcodex on January 08, 2010, 06:04:44 pm
I gave up on building well.I tries many times and all the times I fail. One of the fort was around 10 years which is pretty high for me since i like killing my dwarfs. I got bored and decided to make a well but I ended up flooding the stockpile floor than the bedrooms and than the workshop floor...

Errr...alright, how did you fail at this task? Explain to me.
When I dig channel I usually dont check do see whats under the soon to be channel so I dug the channel and under it was my fortress which got flooded by an endless amount of water.
Ah. I always check first, and lay out my moats and wells based on what's under them. Plus, of course, I build wells over cisterns fed from a river. The only times I seriously worry about being flooded out are when I forget about open spaces and diagonal waterflow.
I always make that mistake, and it's cost me 3 forts so far.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: expwnent on January 09, 2010, 12:54:50 pm
I had two garbage dump areas designated. One of them was over a magma pipe. The other was for quantum storage.

They used the wrong one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on January 09, 2010, 04:17:11 pm
Quote from: expwnent on January 09, 2010, 12:54:50 pm
I had two garbage dump areas designated. One of them was over a magma pipe. The other was for quantum storage.

They used the wrong one.
I usually get around that by using my obsidian farm for disposal, with TEMP off; organic debris flashes to steam, while stones stick around for use in the forges next door.

On that note, my usual method of clearing my obsidian farm is to cave it in; channel around the edges, dig out underneath the floor, and use lever-actuated supports to drop it and deconstruct it simultaneously. I had forgotten that there was a tunnel underneath the obsidian farm, and as we all know, material which caves in continues through floors until it hits actual rock. As a result, the next time I opened the floodgate and released the magma, there was a large hole in the floor...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fishbulb on January 09, 2010, 05:07:42 pm
Gosh, I wish you could tell just by looking which of a screw pump is the business end.

That's all I have to say about that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: quinnr on January 09, 2010, 05:33:27 pm
Sooo, I just was messing with my first underground lake, I set up fortifications, make sure everything is right, so my fort doesn't flood, make all the safegaurds, tunnels, room to get water from...

AND it turns out I did it one level too high.  :-[
No water in those tunnels. Although it may be easy to fix if I can figure out how to fix the safegaurds again for both levels..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on January 09, 2010, 05:34:34 pm
Think about using pumps. If your tunnels are just one level too high, this might be reasonably easy to fix.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: quinnr on January 09, 2010, 05:44:35 pm
Gah! How would I get power underground? I haven't discovered the UG River yet...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: happydog23 on January 09, 2010, 05:49:11 pm
Quote from: quinnr on January 09, 2010, 05:44:35 pm
Gah! How would I get power underground? I haven't discovered the UG River yet...


If you're just filling a lake and its not going to be draining out often, just dwarf power it.  I often dwarf power my obsidian farms magma pumps just because the time it takes to pump in 1200 squares of magma by hand is less than the trouble to get power on the bottom level of my map.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: quinnr on January 09, 2010, 05:52:41 pm
I see, thanks!
I forgot you could dwarf power things  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HatfieldCW on January 09, 2010, 06:07:30 pm
Got a decent military set up, decided to make an attempt to breach my funhouse.  Just about the time the miners stop praising each other and start wondering what's up with all the gibbering elves underground, I get a notification regarding some kind of force, having to do with both evil and darkness.  Now I'm fighting a two-front war, so I figure it's time to pull the lever to shut the front door, allowing me to focus my chopping on one adversary at a time.  Turns out the lever's at the top of the staircase, and the clowns are at the bottom, and it's a race against time for, of all people, my dungeon master, who goes swishing up the stairs in his many cloaks.  Just as he gets to the switch room, a hilarious sequence of events result in a dead DM, a smashed lever and more Fun than I'm prepared for.  I got to enjoy it all at about 3 FPS, too.  I recruit everyone, pass out what armor I have around, and beat back the gobbos, but my champions have all met their depraved ends at the appendages of the deeper enemy, and my militia is handily mopped up, at 3 FPS.

I've got one wounded recruit left, and he's laying in bed wondering whether the slithering, chittering horrors coming down the hall are bringing him a bucket of water.  About ten tiles from total fortress loss, I get a message:  Turns out our deathtrap in the mountains has been made a barony!  Nobles lift their petticoats and step over the mangled corpses and mummies (who smashes coffins, really?), headed for the dining hall with a half-dozen soapmakers and milkers in their wake.  I don't even bother recruiting them.  I go get a sandwich, come back, and reclaim.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: moki on January 09, 2010, 06:33:02 pm
Well yeah, the RNG is especially malicious when it comes to immigrants with purple petticoats. Whenever the mature fort crumbles to it's end, I can be sure that some baron or duke with their consort and court is on the way to watch the spectacle.


My most recent facepalm moment was an embark on a terrifying glacier. Perfectly flat ice to the horizon and beyond...
Guess what item I forgot? a pick :-\ No problem, I thought, there's enough food for almost a year and a few logs for a (tiny) shelter... skeletal sasquatches (skasquatch, anyone?) came before the first wall was finished; everyone had great Fun :(

I still like the story, though: Seven dwarves leave their mountainhome to build a fort in one of the most dangerous regions. When they finally arrive, Urist McLeaderguy does his speach "blablabla... Strike the earth!", looks at the miners and sees their empty hands... uh-oh ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on January 09, 2010, 09:46:06 pm
If only. This is a Dwarfbone Pick. It menaces with spikes of Mutiny.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neyvn on January 10, 2010, 06:46:18 am
Decided to take an extra challange to my Human Fortress this evening. Decided to start on a Terrifying Tundra with an attached to the east Swamp with a Pipe somewhere in the middle (undergound most like), Haunted Tundra...

Took seeds and Built farms to the left...

'NO Seeds available for this Location...'

What if I built them over in the swamp area to the right...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kidiri on January 10, 2010, 07:48:13 am
Quote from: CobaltKobold on January 09, 2010, 09:46:06 pm
If only. This is a Dwarfbone Pick. It menaces with spikes of Mutiny.
It would be called 'the Bounty'. Then you'd have (spikes of) Mutiny on the Bounty.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: moki on January 10, 2010, 08:10:10 am
Quote from: CobaltKobold on January 09, 2010, 09:46:06 pm
If only. This is a Dwarfbone Pick. It menaces with spikes of Mutiny.

I don't like this cheating kind of modding and moods are only available with at least 20 dorfs. No chance for a pick.
It would have been the most epic embark ever, though: dwarves making everything they need to build a new mountainhome out of their friend's body parts :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on January 10, 2010, 09:49:29 am
Quote from: moki on January 10, 2010, 08:10:10 am
Quote from: CobaltKobold on January 09, 2010, 09:46:06 pm
If only. This is a Dwarfbone Pick. It menaces with spikes of Mutiny.

I don't like this cheating kind of modding
...???
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ieb on January 10, 2010, 10:03:49 am
Once in the good days, I played a lot of Kobold Camp rather than with dwarves. I embarked on the mountains, and headed straight for my destination.

The bottomless pit.

Having already discovered the UG pool, I had a vision of emptying the pit of the creatures, flooding it with the river nearby and then emptying it all, carving around the pit levels to make walkways and rooms and so on.

It worked, armed with a lot of wooden arrows, every critter inside(which were surprisingly few in number) were soon full of more arrows than organs. The kobolds did a little victory dance, moved their stuff inside and began work.

By the time my camp was eligible for moods, I had managed to get the pit filled with water and closed the pathway. Probably dropped a few levels of ground on it, or something, or maybe I had gotten a mechanic migrant by then. That's not important to this thing.

Finally ready to get started on the housing around the pit and so on, my miners got to work after I designated every level. The mood was ecstatic, the camp was all thrilled of the bone toy boat a pup had made in an estranged fashion, and all was good.

Until the point where I noticed a message saying the said kid had fallen into a deep chasm.

It was odd, I checked around but there were no enemies, suddenly angry kobolds or creatures that could have pushed the kid over the edge, literally in this case.

I should have looked around more carefully, but that's that.

I unpaused the game, and kept going. Nearly at the end of the mining, I suddenly got an announcement that a kobold had starved to death. This time I had a corpse to zoom into, which I did.

And I found two other kobolds, in a small ledge which had yet to be mined open to the rest of the camp for some reason. All were upset, starving and dehydrated. That, and wet.

By the time the miners got there, they all died off, one by one.

It was not really my most shining of moments with kobolds, but I at least found out the reason for so many of them to fall victim to mysterious forces.

While my memory is sketchy, I'm pretty sure I also used the flooding-source as a water-source. And my map was one with two biomes nearby, unfortunately, this was where the river was at.

Came Winter, the river froze first in the lower part of the map, gradually working it's way upwards. Now that wasn't bad.

But when Spring came, and the top part thawed out, it was unable to push through the ice, so it pushed out straight into my camp.

I had yearly floods that by the end of the camp had claimed those three kobolds to starvation, and a dozen had walked by at the wrong time and were swept in the pit.

Then the goblin ambush party showed up at the top of the pit, and sniped enough kobolds dead to start the tantrum's.

It was sort of hilarious.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: moki on January 10, 2010, 12:01:08 pm
Quote from: CobaltKobold on January 10, 2010, 09:49:29 am
Quote from: moki on January 10, 2010, 08:10:10 am
Quote from: CobaltKobold on January 09, 2010, 09:46:06 pm
If only. This is a Dwarfbone Pick. It menaces with spikes of Mutiny.

I don't like this cheating kind of modding
...???

You can't usually make a pick with dwarven bones (except for  a lucky fell or macabre mood, I think). I'd consider it cheating to mod that into the game after embarking just because I forgot to pack some proper digging tools.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Carpman on January 10, 2010, 12:07:40 pm
Quote from: moki on January 10, 2010, 12:01:08 pm
Quote from: CobaltKobold on January 10, 2010, 09:49:29 am
Quote from: moki on January 10, 2010, 08:10:10 am
Quote from: CobaltKobold on January 09, 2010, 09:46:06 pm
If only. This is a Dwarfbone Pick. It menaces with spikes of Mutiny.

I don't like this cheating kind of modding
...???

You can't usually make a pick with dwarven bones (except for  a lucky fell or macabre mood, I think). I'd consider it cheating to mod that into the game after embarking just because I forgot to pack some proper digging tools.
I think most people would take CobaltKobold's original post as a joke... you know, to be funny.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: moki on January 10, 2010, 01:25:13 pm
Joke? Ah, sorry must have lost my sense of humor somewhere... :-[
Or maybe it's just a sign of what this game does to me. Everything, the more absurd, the better, is just an interesting suggestion to me ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendus on January 10, 2010, 02:52:45 pm
I had just trained several more squads of soldiers. In Dig Deeper, even if four dwarves are enough to defend the fortress it's usually a good idea to have multiple squads as backup, to cover multiple access points, to guard against ambushes, etc. I had just finished training three hammerdwarf squads and a squad of swordsdwarves. Added to my current two hammerdwarf squads, the two marksdwarves, and the wrestler squad that made 7 squads of legendary wrestlers and shield users in exceptional/masterwork steel armor.

Right after giving them their Deep Steel weapons (177% steel/mithril alloy) I get the message "A vile force of darkness has arrived". Since I now have 33 fully crosstrained legendary dwarves, I don't worry. What's more, these are goblins not orcs. Nothing to worry about, think I'll just use the swordsdwarves, see how messy they are. The first two squads go down without a hitch. There are goblin body parts EVERYWHERE! Between masterwork deep steel weapons and legendary skill, they seemed to be cleaving the goblins in half, splitting them into three or four parts per swing.

I checked the squad leaders, and one squad was led by an elite marksgob. Now, here's the facepalm. I knew from experience that the marksgob would stand behind and send the other goblins ahead, and reaching him would be a pain. I had 23 other legendary champions in reserve, compared to only 8 swordsdwarves. I should have brought out another squad or two of hammerdwarves to cut through the goblins faster. The second facepalm was a second melee squad arrived at the same time, so my swordsdwarves had to kill nearly 30 melee gobs (including one pikemaster who took several seconds to dispatch) while the elite marksgob pumped bolts into them.

One dwarf took a bolt to the leg, and then two more to the chest mangling his lungs and heart. He survived for two dwarf days before dieing (he was superdwarvenly tough). Two more were wounded before my swordsdwarves caught the marksgob, one with a broken hand and the other with a broken leg. After they had literally butchered the goblins(good armok, there are 120 goblin limbs spread around, blood for the blood god indeed), eight of them piled onto the goblin. Amazingly, his entire corpse is intact. He probably has more holes in him than swiss cheese. That'll teach me to ever underestimate elite snipers or marksmen again. That really sucked.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: numerobis on January 10, 2010, 03:42:05 pm
(1) I had my legendary miner dig channel the plug to the magma source, to fill up my obsidian maker.  That generated a perfect little sphere of obsidian.  Miner ran down to pick it up and deliver it to the stockpile.  Then he interrupted his task: Too injured.  Someone took him to the barracks to rest.  By sheer luck, he was deposited in the bed (which soon became a !!bed!!) that was isolated from the rest, or else it would have been EOF.

(2) In the same place, I had my best fisherdwarf pump some water into the lava.  I'd made sure ahead of time that there were ramps up from the sea to the shore.  Apparently I missed which direction the ramps went; fisherdwarf fell in and drowned at depth 2.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendus on January 11, 2010, 11:14:39 am
Quote from: numerobis on January 10, 2010, 03:42:05 pm
(1) I had my legendary miner dig channel the plug to the magma source, to fill up my obsidian maker.  That generated a perfect little sphere of obsidian.  Miner ran down to pick it up and deliver it to the stockpile.  Then he interrupted his task: Too injured.  Someone took him to the barracks to rest.  By sheer luck, he was deposited in the bed (which soon became a !!bed!!) that was isolated from the rest, or else it would have been EOF.

(2) In the same place, I had my best fisherdwarf pump some water into the lava.  I'd made sure ahead of time that there were ramps up from the sea to the shore.  Apparently I missed which direction the ramps went; fisherdwarf fell in and drowned at depth 2.

Always have a way to seal your obsidian machine while there's magma. I use doors, and lock them all when there's magma in the tunnels. Also serves as a nice execution chamber, draft them and leave them in the tunnels. They'll never know what happened to him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WumpusKing on January 11, 2010, 11:17:27 am
Was channeling out a tile to let magma flow(making myself some obsidian) but didn't think about diagonal flow through z-levels until the room didn't fill up. Good thing it only flooded some mined-out rock salt.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on January 11, 2010, 03:20:06 pm
So I thought I'd play 2D again. Initially I lost half my supplies to a cave-in, which in retrospect was a sign from the gods.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That is such a perfect storm of fail and incompetence that I've highlighted the most interesting parts. I think I'll hold out another month or so then hitch a ride home with the traders. God knows what that poor metalsmith is going to think of all this.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: happydog23 on January 11, 2010, 05:28:33 pm
I just used all 3 veins of copper on my map to train my weapon smith (make, melt, repeat).  Now I'm out of copper.  I thought I was going to have limitless copper.  Turns out that copper nuggets and cassiterite look very similar visually. 

Turns out now I have almost limitless tin, and if I'd been aware of the situation earlier i could have made all my copper in  to bronze which would have doubled the amount i can train the smith on, and would have made his masterpieces more useful in my traps.


Well... Looks like we'll have tin barrels and bins everywhere.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fist_Of_Armok on January 11, 2010, 09:53:19 pm
Quote from: happydog23 on January 11, 2010, 05:28:33 pm
I just used all 3 veins of copper on my map to train my weapon smith (make, melt, repeat).  Now I'm out of copper.  I thought I was going to have limitless copper.  Turns out that copper nuggets and cassiterite look very similar visually. 

Turns out now I have almost limitless tin, and if I'd been aware of the situation earlier i could have made all my copper in  to bronze which would have doubled the amount i can train the smith on, and would have made his masterpieces more useful in my traps.


Well... Looks like we'll have tin barrels and bins everywhere.

If he has a fuckton of masterpieces, melt some-and melt all the ones that AREN'T masterpieces, too.

Make bronze then. It'll train your smelter up, too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mal7690 on January 11, 2010, 10:30:57 pm
Two-fold.

My noble-killer version 7 I thought was going to be perfect.  Massive cistern, large inlet pipes for the deployment, large drainage, and multiple points of drainage for upgrades.

1) Connected the wrong levers to the wrong bridges so my unfinished suite (which doesn't have drainage yet) got filled.
2) apparently, tripling all values does not decrease the target room's fill speed, it actually increases it.

You really don't want to know how bad v.1-v.4 was.

So v.8 will have the inlet of v.6 with the drainage of v.7 and it should be pure joy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WumpusKing on January 12, 2010, 01:45:11 am
Quote from: mal7690 on January 11, 2010, 10:30:57 pm
So v.8 will have the inlet of v.6 with the drainage of v.7 and it should be pure joy.
I like those words in particular.

I was under siege today by goblins. At first I freaked out, but it turns out one wrestler was able to occupy all of them while my archers shot them dead. The wrestler got away with very little injury  ;D

(http://img109.imageshack.us/img109/7765/deadgobbos.png)

Yes, that is the entire siege force. Facepalmed for the goblins' sake.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nyxalinth on January 12, 2010, 07:33:48 pm
Quote from: moki on January 10, 2010, 01:25:13 pm
Joke? Ah, sorry must have lost my sense of humor somewhere... :-[
Or maybe it's just a sign of what this game does to me. Everything, the more absurd, the better, is just an interesting suggestion to me ;)

Moki cancels Get Joke: Sense of humor misplaced.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HatfieldCW on January 13, 2010, 01:32:28 am
I successfully cleared out the underdeep for the first time in my DF career (Thank you, thank you), with my only casualty being a young recruit who was so emotionally scarred by the experience that he was stricken by melancholy.  His many kittens marching into battle with him may have also played a role in the trauma, as well as the victory.  So I'm patting myself on the back and racing against the clock to get him a fancy tomb built before he starves, and in the meantime I decide it would be a good idea to pit the new refugees so their bones are all in a tidy pile when they meet a similar fate.  I also set about deconstructing the various upright pikes and cages I recently acquired.

But what didn't I do?  I didn't actually send my elites down there to clear and secure the orifice, so when my peasants and furnace operators and engravers get down there to clear out the refuse, they bump head-first into the pokey little horror and are decimated.  The A-team quickly arrives on-scene and remedies the situation, but the many deaths and burn victims put my fort a full season behind schedule on the cleanup and resource exploitation, and push me dangerously close to a tantrum spiral in the bargain.

Rule #4:  Double Tap.  Thoroughness is survival.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Innominate on January 13, 2010, 05:46:39 am
Quote from: HatfieldCW on January 13, 2010, 01:32:28 am
I successfully cleared out the underdeep for the first time in my DF career (Thank you, thank you), with my only casualty being a young recruit who was so emotionally scarred by the experience that he was stricken by melancholy.  His many kittens marching into battle with him may have also played a role in the trauma, as well as the victory.  So I'm patting myself on the back and racing against the clock to get him a fancy tomb built before he starves, and in the meantime I decide it would be a good idea to pit the new refugees so their bones are all in a tidy pile when they meet a similar fate.  I also set about deconstructing the various upright pikes and cages I recently acquired.

But what didn't I do?  I didn't actually send my elites down there to clear and secure the orifice, so when my peasants and furnace operators and engravers get down there to clear out the refuse, they bump head-first into the pokey little horror and are decimated.  The A-team quickly arrives on-scene and remedies the situation, but the many deaths and burn victims put my fort a full season behind schedule on the cleanup and resource exploitation, and push me dangerously close to a tantrum spiral in the bargain.

Rule #4:  Double Tap.  Thoroughness is survival.
Rule #1: Cardio. Because in DF it can take years to kill a zombie.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendus on January 13, 2010, 11:43:12 am
Quote from: Innominate on January 13, 2010, 05:46:39 am
Quote from: HatfieldCW on January 13, 2010, 01:32:28 am
Rule #4:  Double Tap.  Thoroughness is survival.
Rule #1: Cardio. Because in DF it can take years to kill a zombie.
Rule #2: Speed. Because those kittens can adopt damn fast.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Knut on January 13, 2010, 01:24:12 pm
This made me facepalm. A 3x3 site, with magma and HFS, and where do I embark?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sproingie on January 13, 2010, 01:29:25 pm
Got to digging real fast, did ya?

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Knut on January 13, 2010, 01:40:35 pm
Quote from: sproingie on January 13, 2010, 01:29:25 pm
Got to digging real fast, did ya?



Not fast enough, the magma men got me.

Well, it was "Fun"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnicornJesus on January 14, 2010, 04:31:29 am
Just had one:

I notice that I have a couple idle dwarfs, and go to check, because all my dwarfs should be doing something.  One is my mayor, which is understandable, the other, however, is Urist McMiner.  This puzzles me, because I currently have masses of digging designated, and he has no reason to be idle.  So I check to make sure he has mining activated, and has a pick.  He does.  So I figure he'll go dig in a minute and leave him alone.  I check my idle list a couple minutes later, and he's still on it.  So I check his thoughts to see if there's a reason he's not digging.

'Urist McMiner is depressed about being confined.'

Oh right, he's in jail.

Face, meet palm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: T-Boy on January 14, 2010, 05:37:23 am
Quote from: kefkakrazy on April 21, 2009, 10:55:11 am
After building a magma tower, which took years and this building method probably tripled the work involved, I decided to use bridges instead of floors for the water tower. Which involves about a quarter the work, even considering the time factor for building the bridges. So yeah.

...

BLOODY HELL!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on January 14, 2010, 09:19:22 am
but will magma melt the bridges?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jack_Bread on January 14, 2010, 10:03:40 am
I finally got a channel to my magma going. I was going to place floodgates and link them up to levers so my miners can dig the last tile. Then I realized I had no bauxite. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ungulateman on January 14, 2010, 11:31:42 am
Build an unlinked floodgate, channel the last square stopping the magma out from above, then use the z-level above with channeled holes to power your furnaces / workshops. Works perfectly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 14, 2010, 11:37:32 am
Quote from: Jack_Bread on January 14, 2010, 10:03:40 am
I finally got a channel to my magma going. I was going to place floodgates and link them up to levers so my miners can dig the last tile. Then I realized I had no bauxite. :(


You don't need bauxite. Unless you want to be able to close the floodgate again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jack_Bread on January 14, 2010, 11:44:23 am
...right. :o
*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sloshmonger on January 14, 2010, 01:48:38 pm
I'd recommend not using masterwork floodgates if they're meant to be disposable, as well.

Yes, I am speaking from experience.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cthulhu on January 14, 2010, 02:18:52 pm
My first goblin Ambush ever.  I closed up the entrance while my tiny army and the caravan guards fought desperately to survive.

Unfortunately, I didn't like having stones crowding up my stockpiles, and still don't, so I hollowed out a nearby hill and used the silt cave created as a stockpile area.  There was an underground tunnel connecting it to my main fortress.  I accidentally left a spot where the only wall was diagonal.  The goblins waltzed through and into my stockpile chamber, and from there to the rest of the fortress.

70+ dwarves killed by a single ambush.  About ten game-years later I started sending adventurers.  It was a mess, armor and weapons everywhere, giant cave spider in the dining room, sasquatch parts all over, not fun at all.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on January 14, 2010, 02:56:42 pm
Quote from: Cthulhu on January 14, 2010, 02:18:52 pm
70+ dwarves killed by a single ambush.  About ten game-years later I started sending adventurers.  It was a mess, armor and weapons everywhere, giant cave spider in the dining room, sasquatch parts all over, not fun at all.

That sounds like the very definition of dwarven fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vester on January 14, 2010, 02:58:59 pm
Another modding Face Palm.

Prepping for a mod I'm working on. Made several new races with a variety of high damage melee attacks. Went into a village to test out the orc-equivalent.

Got my head punched off by a child. [SEVERONBREAKS] is a happy tag.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fishbulb on January 14, 2010, 04:47:25 pm
It takes a really long time for a diamond accidentally dumped into your magma garbage pit to stop burning.

Like a year and a half, game time. Maybe longer. I just put a door on the pit and stopped looking after a while.

EDIT: Also, I just had an entire immigrant wave wiped out by a grass fire started by a grouchy imp. It's a new fort, too, and this was the very first immigration wave. I wonder if next year I'm going to get the "no one even thought of coming to this deathtrap" message?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Luna on January 15, 2010, 06:40:24 pm
This is less a face palm and more of a "OH ARMOK WE'RE ALL DOOMED".

    My fortress recently hit 62 dwarves... The first time I've ever made it over 30. I got a screen telling me there was a seige. "Oh! Cool! I hope my military can handle it!" (At the time I have about 3 wrestlers, 2 hammerdwarves and couple of marksdwarves who refuse to train.) I zoom in on the seige. "Hmm, what's with all the Cs? Are they riding camels or something?" I take a closer look at one. "BRONZE COLOSSUS SPEARMAN" ... Yeah. 40 OF THEM. RIDING HORSES TOWARDS MY PUNY, DEFENCELESS FORT. I don't even have a front door I can lock.
     
     I think I went wrong somewhere when I was modding them to be playable in adventure mode...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on January 15, 2010, 08:51:00 pm
That sounds awesome.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Julien Brightside on January 15, 2010, 08:54:54 pm
My thoughts as well.

Urist McScout: "Olin, we have a liiiiittle problem."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rotten on January 15, 2010, 10:21:17 pm
Why isn't this pump working? Is it not connected to power? No, its pumping all right. Water source at input, too... I'll disassemble it and rebuild it...

30 minutes later...

Oh, the output is right up against the wall. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MC Dirty on January 16, 2010, 12:24:09 am
Quote from: Fishbulb on January 14, 2010, 04:47:25 pm
Also, I just had an entire immigrant wave wiped out by a grass fire started by a grouchy imp.
If you allow yourselves to use exploits: Stockpiles stop grass fires. You don't even have to fill them. Just the act of a higher entity (you) thinking "There should be something there." stops the fire from progressing. Make it accept nothing, just to be safe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Orris on January 16, 2010, 03:41:41 am
Quote from: MC Dirty on January 16, 2010, 12:24:09 am
Quote from: Fishbulb on January 14, 2010, 04:47:25 pm
Also, I just had an entire immigrant wave wiped out by a grass fire started by a grouchy imp.
If you allow yourselves to use exploits: Stockpiles stop grass fires. You don't even have to fill them. Just the act of a higher entity (you) thinking "There should be something there." stops the fire from progressing. Make it accept nothing, just to be safe.

That was both the funniest and most informative thing I've read today. Good show.

Mine would probably have to be equipping my legendary swordsman with an adamantite sword, and then wondering five minutes later why a crew of like four new recruits were all sickbed'd after getting dozens of Give Drink: cancellations.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on January 16, 2010, 03:55:08 am
doesn't seem to work for me...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LostxInxThought on January 16, 2010, 03:56:51 am
A dwarven caravan showed up, followed by a goblin siege, I watched the caravan get slaughtered, then, noticing that tha caravan guards handled the last of the goblin marksmen, decided my 1 uninjured champion, 2 sworddwarves, a swordmaster, a hammerdwarf, a spearmaster, and a marksdwarf - the only thing left of my military should handle the 3 squads of goblins, rather than letting all that experience go to waste on weapon traps.

I looked at 2 of the squads, saw lashers, axegobs, and wrestlers, then I assumed the 3rd was roughly the same thing. I was very wrong.

My swordmaster, after getting his 15th kill hit champion, then he lead the charge on squad 3... a squad of only spear gobs
he kills 4 more, then gets a spear to the chest. his lung was punctured by a poorly trained speargob.. I'm happy his family and only friends were killed in a prior incident,  saves me from dealing with the tantrum spiral.

I really should learn to check All the enemy squads...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: derekiv on January 16, 2010, 11:23:27 am
I learned that it was blocks instead of block in the raws to make blocks, so I naturaly go to replace all and it screws up my reactions. So I have to give up my fort with awesome locations of magma, ug, chasm and HFS. And I don't no how to use seeds to get the world back.(Or the modified raws killed the possibility of getting it back.)  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jokermatt999 on January 16, 2010, 12:19:53 pm
Quote from: derekiv on January 16, 2010, 11:23:27 am
I learned that it was blocks instead of block in the raws to make blocks, so I naturaly go to replace all and it screws up my reactions. So I have to give up my fort with awesome locations of magma, ug, chasm and HFS. And I don't no how to use seeds to get the world back.(Or the modified raws killed the possibility of getting it back.)  :'(

Escape > export local image > export images.

Enjoy!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Safe-Keeper on January 16, 2010, 02:31:38 pm
Ugh. Had a worker get stuck atop a wall, so I made a makeshift one-tile bridge for him to get off. Checked up on him some time afterwards and some helpful one-dwarf rescue party had erected the bridge, and the worker was gone. Fine, I think, I remove the bridge and go attend to other matters.

Just now I checked to see if the the makeshift bridge had been removed. It had - and the wall was now occupied by a trapped Town Liaison and a child.

:jawdrop:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on January 16, 2010, 03:02:20 pm
use a ramp instead, as they're one of the few fixes that cannot go wrong in this regard.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: silhouette on January 16, 2010, 10:08:55 pm
Finding out that i can remove natural ramps with d-z instead of digging out the natural walls that the ramps are ramping on...
Just figured that out now...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on January 16, 2010, 10:34:05 pm
That took me forever to figure out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: silhouette on January 16, 2010, 11:29:55 pm
i assumed it was just for taking down constructed ramps (no damn idea why...) instead of natural ramps.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on January 17, 2010, 04:35:38 pm
Quote from: MC Dirty on January 16, 2010, 12:24:09 am
Quote from: Fishbulb on January 14, 2010, 04:47:25 pm
Also, I just had an entire immigrant wave wiped out by a grass fire started by a grouchy imp.
If you allow yourselves to use exploits: Stockpiles stop grass fires. You don't even have to fill them. Just the act of a higher entity (you) thinking "There should be something there." stops the fire from progressing. Make it accept nothing, just to be safe.

They also stop the tide from coming in. even if you remove them directly after, it wipes out the "waves go here" hard code.  This is a facepalm moment because I finally discovered this after waves had come and drowned my new fort entrance, and i was forced to stockpile things outside until I figured out how to drain it. totally a case of "why didn't I discover that BEFORE the flooding!?"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheBeardyMan on January 18, 2010, 01:40:48 am
Realizing that all dwarves build roads regardless of labour preferences; after scheduling a road to be built right at the edge of the map; without quarrying stone local to the road building site first. So THAT's why every dwarf had a construct building job and no other work was being done...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LostxInxThought on January 18, 2010, 02:26:48 am
I accidentally marked an Orc axeman (size 15 damblock 10, steel axe and chain armour) to be moved into the cage my animals waiting to be slaughtered go to.. He, of course, escaped.
Luckily, no one got killed, the thresher who let him out ran to the basement, the axeman ran for one of the woodcutters, the wood cutters pet war dog intercepted him, and survived!  :o
the Orc ran for the exit, after cutting off ALL of the poor dog's paws, and ran into the same cage trap he got caught in last time.
Now the dog wanders the halls, pawless, passing out every few seconds, as a reminder of my carelessness.  :-\


EDIT:
The dog just walked into a stonefall trap and passed out.. at least he's not suffering any more.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on January 18, 2010, 07:24:45 am
Quote from: LostxInxThought on January 18, 2010, 02:26:48 am
Luckily, no one got killed,

In my experience, prisoners of war do not try to fight unless cornered. Had your dog not intercepted him, there wouldn't have been any casualties at all (unless one of your soldiers did the same).

How I noticed this? I pitted a bunch of ranged attackers to use for target practice by my guys, and not one of the monster fired a single shot. And yes, I did make sure the had their bows and arrows still on them. When I used prisoners of war for melee training, I did sometimes get wounded, or even casualties, in my ranks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LostxInxThought on January 18, 2010, 07:35:24 am
Quote from: assimilateur on January 18, 2010, 07:24:45 am
Quote from: LostxInxThought on January 18, 2010, 02:26:48 am
Luckily, no one got killed,

In my experience, prisoners of war do not try to fight unless cornered. Had your dog not intercepted him, there wouldn't have been any casualties at all (unless one of your soldiers did the same).

How I noticed this? I pitted a bunch of ranged attackers to use for target practice by my guys, and not one of the monster fired a single shot. And yes, I did make sure the had their bows and arrows still on them. When I used prisoners of war for melee training, I did sometimes get wounded, or even casualties, in my ranks.

I didn't know that, I've never had an escapee before. I really only had the  cages set up to catch a breeding pair of raccoons, and it turned out I forgot to make my orcs [trAPAVOID]. Normally I build an arena before I worry about keeping any invader's alive.

  ::) speaking of raccoons, it seems only females are interested in robbing my fortress, they're all I can catch.

also, modding facepalm:
my orcs are active in every seasen except summer... I meant to keep them out of my way in autumn so my dwarven caravans were safer  :-X should be fun watching my little liaison running from 20 [SIZE: 15] Orc Axe- and Spearmen.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on January 18, 2010, 08:30:23 am
Quote from: LostxInxThought on January 18, 2010, 07:35:24 am
I didn't know that, I've never had an escapee before.

Nobody can blame you for not knowing that, because it's not exactly obvious. You'd expect an escapee to at least attack whoever is in sight, if not to actually seek out targets, and meanwhile they behave similarly to civilians, running and only fighting when cornered.


Quote from: LostxInxThought on January 18, 2010, 07:35:24 am
  ::) speaking of raccoons, it seems only females are interested in robbing my fortress, they're all I can catch.

Sooner or later, you should get a male on your map. You don't even need to catch it, because animals breed by spores, i.e. just one male showing up on the map for a moment should be enough to impregnate all your females.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LostxInxThought on January 18, 2010, 10:28:24 am
Quote from: assimilateur on January 18, 2010, 08:30:23 am
Nobody can blame you for not knowing that, because it's not exactly obvious. You'd expect an escapee to at least attack whoever is in sight, if not to actually seek out targets, and meanwhile they behave similarly to civilians, running and only fighting when cornered.


Sooner or later, you should get a male on your map. You don't even need to catch it, because animals breed by spores, i.e. just one male showing up on the map for a moment should be enough to impregnate all your females.

Yeah, I was expecting a slaughter to be honest, size 15, damblock 10, all steel gear, and me with only a few war dogs to keep it away  :-X I wasn't exactly prepared to kill one that could actually reach my dwarves.

I finally got my male raccoon :D chained the 2 up in the basement, the room that served as a temporary slaughter house.
I knew about the spore-breeding, but the last map I had, I tried to get a decent mountain goat stock from spore breeding, and A hunter migrant I never noticed managed to kill all the goats in the area, for over 6 years after that hunter got loose, I didn't see another living wild animal on the map, so, I wanted to tame and chain them so I didn't accidentally drive them to extinction.  :) I like having some variety in my pets/food/leather/etc.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: expwnent on January 18, 2010, 12:58:30 pm
I've been playing since November, and I just now noticed that you can use 'n' to purchase items at embark.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HatfieldCW on January 18, 2010, 01:29:22 pm
Quote from: expwnent on January 18, 2010, 12:58:30 pm
I've been playing since November, and I just now noticed that you can use 'n' to purchase items at embark.
Ha!  Yeah, took me forever to figure that out.  I thought making embark profiles was something fancy you had to do in the raws or something.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sir Speshkitty on January 18, 2010, 09:10:42 pm
Discovering you can build ramps.

Naturally, I did this just after I'd designated a 20 z-level pyramid underground.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: moki on January 19, 2010, 04:46:19 pm
Quote from: Sir Speshkitty on January 18, 2010, 09:10:42 pm
Discovering you can build ramps.

Naturally, I did this just after I'd designated a 20 z-level pyramid underground.

Carving a proper aboveground fortress out of a whole mountain... sounds like a proper dwarven project to me and should also make the "stay inside" orders work properly ;)


My biggest facepalm was in my very first (halfway successful) fort, when I discovered the magic of z-levels... after almost two dwarf-years. I had just read the whole epicness that is Boatmurdered and really wanted to play this game. Nobody told me to expect such a different game :P

Also, my very good friends <d-b-f>, <d-b-c> and <d-b-d>... can you imagine the pain of designating a whole fortress worth of stones for dumping, one by one? :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lobster on January 19, 2010, 11:57:34 pm
The 4th time i embarked and a dwarf was 'struck down by carp'.

The first three times were just wtf moments, but by the fourth i realised YOU SHOULD FEAR THE KING OF BEASTS
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on January 21, 2010, 03:04:20 pm
Quote from: Lobster on January 19, 2010, 11:57:34 pm
The 4th time i embarked and a dwarf was 'struck down by carp'.

The first three times were just wtf moments, but by the fourth i realised YOU SHOULD FEAR THE KING OF BEASTS
Only had one dwarf taken down by carp; for a long time my only interaction with carp was trying to lure them into my drowning traps, but since I learned how to drain rivers quickly and easily, my third order of business on embark is "Drain the rivers and drown the carp".

On topic: I was attempting to test the magma-proof-ness of green glass, particularly grates and bridges, by building a pump stack to bring magma up above ground level, from a pipe three levels below ground BTW, letting it flow through a glass grate, and into a cistern with a bridge for a floor. If the grate and bridge didn't melt by the time I'd cycled the bridge twice, I'd call it a success and begin using green glass any place I needed magma-proofing. Got everything built, bridges and gear assemblies linked to levers, and set it going. A moment later, I realized that the top pump, the one that was supposed to pump magma into the cistern, was pumping the wrong direction. Rather than pumping magma into a contained area, it was spraying magma over my windmills, which started to catch fire. Face, meet palm.

Fortunately, I have a new scheme, which should require fewer materials and can probably be built just in my obsidian farm.
Edit: Tested scheme, and everything worked fine, glass bridge, grate, and floodgate all worked with no problems, the second time I ran the test. The first time, everything again worked just fine and jim-dandy, because I'd left TEMPERATURE off; presumably a wooden floodgate with non-bauxite mechanisms would have done as well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: alway on January 21, 2010, 05:59:42 pm
Just had a pretty epic facepalm moment on my most recent build.
I decided to build a fortress modeled after Moria from LoTR. I decided I did not want it to take as long, so I set speed to 1 (for the first time) and watched my dwarves zipping around doing things very quickly. Unfortunately, one of the great halls I had designated to be dug out was near an underground river. The message popped up saying I had discovered an underground river, which immediately sent me into panic mode, since digging into rivers is never a good idea. This was followed by relief as I realized the hall being dug out was a level above the water, so no flooding would occur. Unfortunately, I forgot about the critters in the water. They swarmed up at the miner digging out the hall, killing him. This made him drop his clothes and items, and all the other dwarves soon ran (with speed set to 1) towards where he fell. 4 more deaths later, I am left with a very upset dwarf as well as a Monty Python black knight who lost both arms at the elbows and his right leg at the hip.
Edit: make that a loony and a black knight.
Edit 2: Wow. According to Mr. Black Knight's bios, "He sustained minor injuries recently." He really does think its just a flesh wound.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xdarkcodex on January 21, 2010, 06:13:04 pm
Lol bad luck.Maybe the wound was just bruised at 1st than it was a major wound?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: alway on January 21, 2010, 06:15:42 pm
His other wounds have healed down to 2 yellow wounds left, from 2 yellow and a red. I think he may just make it. At the very least, I hope he can make it until winter when the migrants come (currently early autumn). He isn't hungry, thirsty, or upset yet. The loony died, making him unhappy. It is now late autumn. On another note, a pair of lizardmen stole my expedition's two bronze picks during the fight.

It is now late winter, no migrants to be seen. He is still alive, although still unhappy, as he has been for a whole season... I fear for his sanity. Oddly enough, he is neither hungry or thirsty after 2 seasons without food or drink.

And now its spring; 1 yellow wound left. Hopefully migrants come this month.

Late spring, 9 months after the initial injury, migrants have finally come. The black knight will survive, as will the fort. :D

Edit: early autumn... Then again, it seems he won't survive after all. He bled to death somehow after surviving over a year resting. Which means I managed to kill off all 7 starting dwarves due to one battle in the first summer without losing my fort  ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: XSI on January 22, 2010, 06:31:54 am
I've currently got a fort going with 2 3 outdoor GCS.(And an unknown number still hidden, though I've seen their webs in at least 7 different underground places)

First migrant wave, 7 weavers, 3 hunters.

Not only did they all die, some of the weavers managed to run in the direction of the fort, one GCS got inside and is now in the walled off dining room, while the other is sitting on top of the trade depot outside.(That's actually not that bad, it's spring and I was waiting for the elves) So now only my original 7 survived, and have walled themselves into the farms and workshops.

And then I realised this could all have been prevented if I just turned weaving and hunting off. *Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kidiri on January 22, 2010, 10:55:39 am
Quote from: alway on January 21, 2010, 05:59:42 pm
Edit: make that a loony and a black knight.
Actually, two loonies. To quote King Arthur when The Black Knight is doing his thing: "You're a loony."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Arathel on January 22, 2010, 07:48:40 pm
Decently sized fort, just finished laying out how I wanted it and was waiting for migrants. Elven traders arrived and I opened the front gate to let them in. (It had been closed because I was in a terrifying biome) Anyways, the elves almost make it to my gate and are killed by skeletal eagles. I laugh while watching this, thinking of the free goods I just got when I see one of the eagles fly into my fortress and down the ladder to where my 7 dwarves are. Chaos ensued resulting in one miner in the food supply room, he went insane and then tried to run to the entrance and got killed in the hallway. "Your settlement has crumbled to it's end."

It was a perfect geographic location too. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cardinal on January 22, 2010, 09:04:02 pm
Quote from: Arathel on January 22, 2010, 07:48:40 pm
It was a perfect geographic location too.*

*Except for that endangered Giant Skeletal Eagle sanctuary.

Fixed that for ya.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkflagrance on January 22, 2010, 09:54:09 pm
Quote from: derekiv on January 16, 2010, 11:23:27 am
I learned that it was blocks instead of block in the raws to make blocks, so I naturaly go to replace all and it screws up my reactions. So I have to give up my fort with awesome locations of magma, ug, chasm and HFS. And I don't no how to use seeds to get the world back.(Or the modified raws killed the possibility of getting it back.)  :'(

The truly sad part is that you could have fixed the broken reaction raws without needing to regen your current world, saving you the need to abandon your progress in the perfect one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Caesar on January 23, 2010, 11:07:02 am
I had built a fortress, playing it for at least a week (it lagged a bit), and I still hadn't had any goblins visit me. (Even though I kept getting a lot of immigrants, along with quite some good trading.)

Now I had an entirely walled off outside area on top of my fortress, and a main front entrance. My hunter got ambushed and killed, so I ordered all my dwarfs to stay inside. I laughed to myself as the ambush ran through all the traps.
Then suddenly I had been ambushed, and the screen zoomed to my dining hall.

I forgot to lock the back door.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Binamrad on January 23, 2010, 12:08:57 pm
I had built a small moat around my fortress early in the game, and as the game progressed I filled every millimetre of land on the inside side of it, because soil layers are great for farming and stockpiles. But after a while I decided it wasn't looking pretty enough, and I decided to  channel it out into small ponds and stuff at the side of it, to make it more natural-looking. After a while I got messages about dangerous terrain, and looked after the source, and the main part of my fortress was slowly flooding due to me breaching most of the walls separating it from the river. *Facepalm*
Fortunately I had dug a giant pit for draining the river in order to recover the bodies of the dwarves lost to the longnose gars, so I managed to save it all.

Funny thing, I had settled in a serene area, but my fortress was referred to as a cursed deathtrap. Probably due to the fact that 66% of all immigrants died a terrible death for various reasons
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Quantum Toast on January 23, 2010, 12:24:17 pm
Ten seconds ago I finally realised what "Zoom Cre" is short for.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jack_Bread on January 23, 2010, 12:55:44 pm
I want to pump some magma for a magma moat(which is going to double as power for magma buildings), so I wanted to make some iron pieces for pumps. I built the smelter and the wood furnace THEN I RELIZED I DIDN'T BRING OR BUY AN ANVIL.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Loyal on January 23, 2010, 03:42:25 pm
I have discovered a new meaning of Irony: Digging out a room to store all that excess Magnetite I had lying around... only to discover that 90% of the room in question was, in fact, part of yet another Magnetite cluster.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kg333 on January 23, 2010, 05:51:49 pm
Quote from: Loyal on January 23, 2010, 03:42:25 pm
I have discovered a new meaning of Irony: Digging out a room to store all that excess Magnetite I had lying around... only to discover that 90% of the room in question was, in fact, part of yet another Magnetite cluster.

This is the blessing of Armok, not a facepalm. XD

KG
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ungulateman on January 23, 2010, 08:23:55 pm
Whenever I decide not to bring an anvil, I get eleventy-billion tonnes of iron ore.

Whenever I do, I never get anything better than copper (sometimes bronze).

I finally broke this cycle! Hah! HAHAHAHA!

And the ore cluster is in my dining room. Yesssssssssss...now I just need to remember whether or not this map has magma...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Upright Path on January 23, 2010, 09:32:49 pm
Building a Magma powered fortress... And marking the above ground area as 'Restricted' until you've built a wall around it to protect the hairy buggers...

Then forgetting that you'd marked it as Restricted and spending a year in game trying to figure out why your dwarves go upstairs then downstairs to work on a wall that's 4 squares away from the first set of stairs. >.>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garth on January 23, 2010, 10:27:43 pm
Trying to play DF with no previous knowledge of it, how to play it, or the idea of it at all.

Yeah, I was stupid.

This thread is helpful for new players :U
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CrimsonEon on January 23, 2010, 11:49:33 pm
Forgetting about an Aquifer when I start digging out areas for beds near the surface of a seasoned fortress.

Yeah... Aquifers are such a cruel concept
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Errori on January 24, 2010, 11:56:24 am
I ocasionally like to embark as humans. It's quite fun usually, but axe is replaced with a halberd (if you don't change it every time). Halberds can't be used to cut trees, which I can clearly understand. Well, naturally I have some times embarked to a site with a lot of trees and a halberd... and aquifer. The project to get through aquifer is not my thing (it is nt rare that my only miner dies in such project).

Well guess what, halberd and a dead miner (with the only pickaxe) at the bottom of aquifer... Sad isn't it. *facepalm*

Well the usual stuff I also have encountered; flooding, not a single drop of water on the whole fortress (and if there is, it's frozen through year), 5 dwarves at the bottom of a river... eaten by a carp (or a hippo), humans at beach of salt water (and not much of wood)...
Things happend... all you can do is laugh at your own stupidness ;)

Edit:
Quote from: assimilateur on January 24, 2010, 12:32:19 pm
Quote from: Errori on January 24, 2010, 11:56:24 am
Halberds can't be used to cut trees

I've used halberds (or was it great axes? they're the same size, so there should be no difference) when I had modded my dwarves to use them. The trick consisted in telling them to use "two weapons", which should be more accurately understood as using a single two-handed weapon.
That makes sence to be honest... Must try that when I've got enough time for that, thanks :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on January 24, 2010, 12:32:19 pm
Quote from: Errori on January 24, 2010, 11:56:24 am
Halberds can't be used to cut trees

I've used halberds (or was it great axes? they're the same size, so there should be no difference) when I had modded my dwarves to use them. The trick consisted in telling them to use "two weapons", which should be more accurately understood as using a single two-handed weapon.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kidiri on January 24, 2010, 02:09:06 pm
Quote from: assimilateur on January 24, 2010, 12:32:19 pm
Quote from: Errori on January 24, 2010, 11:56:24 am
Halberds can't be used to cut trees

I've used halberds (or was it great axes? they're the same size, so there should be no difference) when I had modded my dwarves to use them. The trick consisted in telling them to use "two weapons", which should be more accurately understood as using a single two-handed weapon.
Not always. When using a one-handed weapon and set to two weapons, the Dwarf will carry two weapons. This is very handy with weapons such as spears and swords. When they get stuck in an enemy, they will swap to the other weapon instead of running of to get another weapon. At least, so I've heard. I haven't tested it myself.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Loyal on January 24, 2010, 02:14:46 pm
Ideally, you're supposed to forbid any relevant one-handed weapons before you tell them to wield two. This guarantees that, when they pick up a weapon, it will be a multi-grasp.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Blargityblarg on January 24, 2010, 05:50:00 pm
It's really 'how many hands should I dedicate to holding weapons' more than 'how many weapons should I hold'.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untouchable on January 24, 2010, 06:24:13 pm
Yeah, I accidentally ballsed up creating a waterfall. One of my dwarves was still in the way when I took out the last bit of earth in the way and he was sent flying into the pit and splattered 6 Z levels below.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LostxInxThought on January 24, 2010, 10:03:40 pm
I found a nice embark site, 4x4, 1 non-mountain tile, obsidian mountain with a somewhat flat edge to dig into right next to the 1 embark tile of soil, and right near the (already exposed) magma pipe, great spot to strike the earth.
Once I had my workshops and farms set up, I decided to get a jump start on my defences with a magma moat.
I forgot where exactly I had put my farms, and I managed to have channelled my magma moat into my farms, food stockpile, and 5 of my 7 dwarves *facepalm*.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spaghetti on January 24, 2010, 11:46:59 pm
I channeled a river into the top of a magma pool

I dont know what i was thinking it didnt really do anything.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on January 25, 2010, 12:20:12 am
Quote from: Spaghetti on January 24, 2010, 11:46:59 pm
I channeled a river into the top of a magma pool

I dont know what i was thinking it didnt really do anything.
Somehow I doubt that; when I drove a river onto the top of a magma pool, the result was a slowly growing cap of obsidian, which eventually covered it and kept fire imps from threatening my poor dwarfs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spaghetti on January 25, 2010, 12:26:33 am
that was the intent, me trying to kill the fire monstors but i thought it would like cause a cataclysmic explosion idk i kinda did it without thinking.

do you think that maybe i created a sona?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on January 25, 2010, 12:47:09 am
Quote from: Spaghetti on January 25, 2010, 12:26:33 am
that was the intent, me trying to kill the fire monstors but i thought it would like cause a cataclysmic explosion idk i kinda did it without thinking.

do you think that maybe i created a sona?
Don't know if it'd kill them, considering that they'd probably be in one of the lower layers, but it should not cause any kind of explosion, saving large clouds of steam. You might create some sort of sauna effect, if you can ensure that the magma isn't consumed entirely in the attempt.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spaghetti on January 25, 2010, 01:37:45 am
from what i cn tell it basicly made this kind of "whip cream on hot chocolate"

except the chocolate has evil fire creatures.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Horseplank on January 25, 2010, 02:30:07 am
Embarking in a place with no dirt/sand/loam and not realizing it until it was far too late.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ungulateman on January 25, 2010, 05:02:48 am
^ Isn't possible - you have to have at least some soil to embark anywhere. You likely weren't digging in the right embark tile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Halmie on January 25, 2010, 05:16:36 am
Is that how it is impossible to embark on mountains?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Herroth on January 25, 2010, 05:35:39 am
I built a big tree farm.  Thing covered 3/4 my bottom floor and used over 21k units of water.  Had a 6 z-level reservoir filled, and the pump turned off.  Everything prepped and ready.  Pulled the lever.
Two...
Frames...
Per...
Second...
For...
Two...
Hours...
But on the bright side I got some reading done
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spaghetti on January 25, 2010, 07:44:45 am
tree farm?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Loyal on January 25, 2010, 07:47:47 am
Quote from: ungulateman on January 25, 2010, 05:02:48 am
^ Isn't possible - you have to have at least some soil to embark anywhere. You likely weren't digging in the right embark tile.
No, I've seen non-mountainous, soil-less embarkable sites before. Usually filled with three kinds of metamorphic layers.

Anyway. I was sending a miner to dig ramps in all the murky pools in the area so that if someone fell in for whatever reason it wouldn't be an automatic drown.

A few minutes later I see a message about his Carve Ramp job being interrupted by a pheasant (dig deeper)... and shortly after, that he had drowned. :|
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untouchable on January 25, 2010, 08:21:40 am
Quote from: Spaghetti on January 25, 2010, 07:44:45 am
tree farm?

I assume he was growing Tower-Cap mushrooms.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spaghetti on January 25, 2010, 09:24:28 am
thats that stuff you start out with right?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kidiri on January 25, 2010, 09:28:18 am
Quote from: Spaghetti on January 25, 2010, 07:44:45 am
tree farm?
Tree farm. The discovery of an underground river or lake will trigger an event which makes it able for you to grow tower caps. This is done by muddying underground tiles, which will then act like soil. Trees and shrubs spontaneously grow, but seeing it's undergrounds, the trees are tower caps and the shrubs are the underground crops. When you muddy the floor with the intent of growing tower caps, you make a tree farm. It's not like you build a plot and designate trees for growing. More info on the wiki (http://dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Tree_farm#Underground_tree_farm).

Quote from: Loyal on January 25, 2010, 07:47:47 am
Quote from: ungulateman on January 25, 2010, 05:02:48 am
^ Isn't possible - you have to have at least some soil to embark anywhere. You likely weren't digging in the right embark tile.
No, I've seen non-mountainous, soil-less embarkable sites before. Usually filled with three kinds of metamorphic layers.
Or ice. Embarking on a glacier will also remove all soil.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spaghetti on January 25, 2010, 09:31:46 am
wow thats a great idea thanks

Now my woodcutters wont get eaten by carps

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendus on January 25, 2010, 10:27:42 am
I had a facepalm when I realized the secret to getting marksdwarves to patrol right next to fortifications is to put high traffic designations next to the fortifications and low traffic designations behind them. Dwarves will stay as close to the fortifications as dwarvenly possible, only moving away to go around other marksdwarves. Line the parapets with stacks of bolts (I prefer to use excess goblinite, bone just makes the orcs itch) and you can cover the complete outside of your fort with very few marksdwarves.

I also facepalmed when I realized that the best place to engage bow or marks enemies is in the trees. Trees let you get to about 5 squares without them being able to shoot, and lower the collateral damage. Works great.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sproingie on January 25, 2010, 10:41:52 am
Quote
Tree farm. The discovery of an underground river or lake will trigger an event which makes it able for you to grow tower caps.

I've done this without discovering either, quite by accident (they grew in the feeder pipe diverted from a brook for my cistern.  Moral of the story is pave over your pipe if you ever plan on shutting it off.).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slackratchet on January 25, 2010, 11:26:57 am
Due to over zealous typing I used a Bed instead of a Floodgate to hold back some Lava...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 25, 2010, 11:57:59 am
Quote from: Slackratchet on January 25, 2010, 11:26:57 am
Due to over zealous typing I used a Bed instead of a Floodgate to hold back some Lava...

Ther was a noble sleeping in it though, so it's all good.

...Right?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: wagawaga on January 25, 2010, 01:13:16 pm
Discovering that my new magma cistern in a glacier map suddenly melted down and somehow entered my fort. Fun since it destroyed the emergency lever, and was quite well pressurized.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jack_Bread on January 25, 2010, 02:37:04 pm
Double dose of goblin ambush quickly went to hell because I forgot to make the new recruits quivers! D:<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HatfieldCW on January 25, 2010, 04:57:55 pm
When you find adamantium, make the armor first.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jack_Bread on January 25, 2010, 05:02:23 pm
There's no adamantine on the map. I made them iron chain mail, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kidiri on January 25, 2010, 05:13:27 pm
Do you have flux? If so, then make steel. It improves the effectiveness with 33%. And give you recruits armour when sparring, it increases their armour using skill, which decreases the effective weight of worn items (clothing AND armour). This, in turn, reduces encumbrance, which increases speed. And there's also the fact that a legendary armour user has another 18000 experience, which increases their attributes, making them stronger, tougher, and/or faster. Also shields. More block chance, more experience, more attributes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on January 25, 2010, 07:57:01 pm
This isn't a facepalm on my part but on the randomness of my engravers.

My bookkeeper/manager/broker was complaining about not having a good enough room so I ordered the walls to be engraved.One of my engravers made a picture of the noble surrounded by purring maggots and looks terrified IN HIS ROOM!

I guess everytime he wants to go to sleep he gets to see one of the worst memories of his life right across the room.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sproingie on January 25, 2010, 08:02:46 pm
Brought one pick.  Decided to switch miners.  Previous miner drops his pick.  Right next to a bunch of rhesus macaques.  Hilarity ensues.

At least I brought an axe so I could use wood.  Wasn't planning on making it an outdoor fortress though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jack_Bread on January 25, 2010, 09:09:17 pm
I requested some flux and charcoal from the liaison. ;)

I made cork as a practice metal(which the dwarf caravans keep using for cages. :o ). I made a smelter reaction to make cork bars from wood, BUT I screwed up the reaction and it doesn't produce anything. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on January 25, 2010, 09:44:03 pm
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on January 25, 2010, 07:57:01 pm
This isn't a facepalm on my part but on the randomness of my engravers.

My bookkeeper/manager/broker was complaining about not having a good enough room so I ordered the walls to be engraved.One of my engravers made a picture of the noble surrounded by purring maggots and looks terrified IN HIS ROOM!

I guess everytime he wants to go to sleep he gets to see one of the worst memories of his life right across the room.
Move him out of that room fast, a picture of anything the dwarf dislikes lowers the perceived value like mad.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Loyal on January 25, 2010, 09:53:27 pm
Quote from: sproingie on January 25, 2010, 08:02:46 pm
Brought one pick.  Decided to switch miners.  Previous miner drops his pick.  Right next to a bunch of rhesus macaques.  Hilarity ensues.
Similar story: I was trying to get my embark-bought leather out of the wagon since I'd been a bit lax in digging out workshop zones, when some hoary marmots show up, spook the haulers off, and steal five pieces of Donkey Leather and some spider silk thread.

I guess you could say they made an ass out of me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Blargityblarg on January 25, 2010, 10:49:51 pm
Hoary marmots don't steal. They are, however, either identical or one shade off identical to rhesus macaques, which do.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kidiri on January 26, 2010, 10:36:34 am
Quote from: Blargityblarg on January 25, 2010, 10:49:51 pm
Hoary marmots don't steal. They are, however, either identical or one shade off identical to rhesus macaques, which do.
Maybe he confused them with hoarding marmots.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Loyal on January 26, 2010, 11:58:08 am
No, he's right, I got 'em confused with the Macaques.

I lost my trader/clerk/manager/engraver (a founding member) in a magma-channeling accident. Which is confusing because he had absolutely no reason to be down there in the first place, that I know of.

I also lost my miner (also a founder) in the same month in a cave-in, so I am understandably a little worried about the rest of my founders.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on January 26, 2010, 12:18:54 pm
Quote from: Time Kitten on January 25, 2010, 09:44:03 pm
Move him out of that room fast, a picture of anything the dwarf dislikes lowers the perceived value like mad.
[/quote]
Would putting a statue in front of the engraving work? If I recall correctly, walls directly behind a statue aren't counted towards room value because they're not visible.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on January 26, 2010, 02:00:17 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on January 26, 2010, 12:18:54 pm
Quote from: Time Kitten on January 25, 2010, 09:44:03 pm
Move him out of that room fast, a picture of anything the dwarf dislikes lowers the perceived value like mad.
Would putting a statue in front of the engraving work? If I recall correctly, walls directly behind a statue aren't counted towards room value because they're not visible.
You'd also have to cover all diagonal views and redesignate the room.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cyphr on January 26, 2010, 03:22:45 pm
playing with the physics and building an upside down pyramid on top of a single pillar, berserk dwarf killed about 75 dorfs in a  single rage fueled kick
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tcei on January 26, 2010, 05:21:29 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on January 26, 2010, 12:18:54 pm
Quote from: Time Kitten on January 25, 2010, 09:44:03 pm
Move him out of that room fast, a picture of anything the dwarf dislikes lowers the perceived value like mad.
Would putting a statue in front of the engraving work? If I recall correctly, walls directly behind a statue aren't counted towards room value because they're not visible.
[/quote]
Alternatively, if you have the space to do so just mine out that picture, then smooth over the new space. I would check the engraver's relationship to your mayor tho. IME if an engraver has a grudge against someone and is told to engrave their room chances are there'll be at least one engraving of that dwarf being traumatized. You may want to go with another engraver if thats the case.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HatfieldCW on January 26, 2010, 05:27:42 pm
If it's not a masterwork engraving, just dig it away and build a gold wall in its place.  Problem solved.  Heck, even if it is masterwork, a good engraver has enough that it shouldn't flip his wig too hard.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendus on January 26, 2010, 05:33:42 pm
An orc siege showed up. I immediately checked to see if there were any ranged orcs, since they're 50x easier to deal with in the trees. Spotting an orc bowman leading one squad, I dispatch some swordsdwarves to take care of his squad. A few minutes later, I get spammed with "Urist McChampion has died". Turns out they don't all spawn at once, two squads of boworcs had come from the same side and were cutting through my multi-legendary dwarves in masterwork steel. That's a double facepalm, not waiting for the entire army to spawn and using hammerdwarves instead of swords, axes, or spears.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rotten on January 26, 2010, 10:59:08 pm
When trying to dam a waterfall, 2 of my 3 miners went right over it for no apparent reason.

Down 39 z-levels.



 :(

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 27, 2010, 08:08:21 am
Quote from: Rotten on January 26, 2010, 10:59:08 pm
When trying to dam a waterfall, 2 of my 3 miners went right over it for no apparent reason.

Down 39 z-levels.



 :(



Yeah. That really is an awesome site.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on January 27, 2010, 08:56:10 am
Quote from: HatfieldCW on January 26, 2010, 05:27:42 pm
If it's not a masterwork engraving, just dig it away and build a gold wall in its place.  Problem solved.  Heck, even if it is masterwork, a good engraver has enough that it shouldn't flip his wig too hard.

Gold's a good generic material, but it's better to check the material preferenes of the dwarf that will be occupying the romm, then use one of the metals he likes. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on January 27, 2010, 09:16:52 am
I dispatched my entire army after an "all melee" siege and it ended up the REST of the army were bowgoblins.

They cut down 2/3 the army before they were reached and fled because they had no arrows.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dephelis on January 27, 2010, 12:35:32 pm
Excavating, without a single dwarf bursting into flames, a 15 z-level magma pipe to make it perfectly circular by channelling and supporting levels by supports for safe, remote lever collapsing. I decided not to fit doors where the magma chamber connects to the rest of the fort as everyone is nicely out of the way. Chortling, I pulled the lever and watched with horror as every dwarf bar one walks chooses that moment in time to walk past the entrance on their way to a party and choking with the dust, are sent to the bottom of the pipe to be covered by a magma spurt.

The remaining dwarf is blind and has no legs.

Rollback time methinks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on January 27, 2010, 01:23:15 pm
No offence, but that is hilarious. How many dwarves did you have?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jack_Bread on January 27, 2010, 02:41:28 pm
D:<
Went the last immigration wave came in, I make the peasants swordsdwarves. They begin wrestling while I make swords for them. They all become wrestlers and they go to grab their swords. FOR SOME REASON, they still wrestle. One of them became a champion, he's a LEGENDARY WRESTLER. FUCK.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Elvang on January 27, 2010, 03:01:27 pm
Wrestling increases faster than any other combat skill for a variety of reasons; it goes up for dodge rolls, the higher it is the more often a dwarf makes a successful dodge roll (robbing you of a shield/armor roll), if they are engaged in a grapple they will use wrestling, and military dwarves have an annoying tendency to steal each others' equipment and refuse to let go until you explicitly tell them to drop everything (resulting in them attacking with wrestling rather than a weapon skill). There was an in depth post somewhere on the forums about it but I can't seem to find it...

EDIT: Woot, thread hit 1000 posts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on January 27, 2010, 04:16:18 pm
Quote from: Jack_Bread on January 27, 2010, 02:41:28 pm
D:<
Went the last immigration wave came in, I make the peasants swordsdwarves. They begin wrestling while I make swords for them. They all become wrestlers and they go to grab their swords. FOR SOME REASON, they still wrestle. One of them became a champion, he's a LEGENDARY WRESTLER. FUCK.
You can still change their weapons by the Military screen, can't you? (I may be wrong here)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on January 27, 2010, 04:25:02 pm
You can. Legendary status doesn't override weapon choices, it only does so when a legendary soldier picks up an artifact weapon, as they will refuse to let go of it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dephelis on January 27, 2010, 04:57:16 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on January 27, 2010, 01:23:15 pm
No offence, but that is hilarious. How many dwarves did you have?

39 as I set my population cap to 40 so I could just build without having to worry about managing the normal horde I get after a couple of years.

Second time round the doors did the trick.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jack_Bread on January 27, 2010, 05:00:10 pm
Quote from: CobaltKobold on January 27, 2010, 04:16:18 pm
Quote from: Jack_Bread on January 27, 2010, 02:41:28 pm
D:<
Went the last immigration wave came in, I make the peasants swordsdwarves. They begin wrestling while I make swords for them. They all become wrestlers and they go to grab their swords. FOR SOME REASON, they still wrestle. One of them became a champion, he's a LEGENDARY WRESTLER. FUCK.
You can still change their weapons by the Military screen, can't you? (I may be wrong here)
Yeah, I can. Most of them are elite wrestlers and they were changing their own weapon preference to unarmed. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DaJonkel on January 27, 2010, 05:20:26 pm
This sounds made up but it really happened to me.. I spend hours of mining and building on my new cliff side fort when I accidentally disconnected the entire fort from the cliff and well you can guess what happened.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kidiri on January 27, 2010, 06:07:50 pm
Your computer was found on the street?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MC Dirty on January 27, 2010, 08:08:06 pm
Quote from: DaJonkel on January 27, 2010, 05:20:26 pm
This sounds made up but it really happened to me.. I spend hours of mining and building on my new cliff side fort when I accidentally disconnected the entire fort from the cliff and well you can guess what happened.
About 1 fps for half an hour? Lots of Fun? Massive Damage?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Valdier on January 28, 2010, 12:54:46 am
Just had fire imp fat smoldering in my butcher's shop and marked as dump and caught 3 dwarves on fire and burned all my liquor...... oh the humanity!!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on January 28, 2010, 03:09:28 am
Quote from: Valdier on January 28, 2010, 12:54:46 am
Just had fire imp fat smoldering in my butcher's shop and marked as dump and caught 3 dwarves on fire and burned all my liquor...... oh the humanity!!!!
What a shame. All that booze lost, before its time. The dwarven scotch wasn't even 5 years old yet!  :'( :'( This is one of the reasons I'm very careful about dealing with imps.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xdarkcodex on January 28, 2010, 03:50:07 am
Quote from: darthbob88 on January 28, 2010, 03:09:28 am
Quote from: Valdier on January 28, 2010, 12:54:46 am
Just had fire imp fat smoldering in my butcher's shop and marked as dump and caught 3 dwarves on fire and burned all my liquor...... oh the humanity!!!!
What a shame. All that booze lost, before its time. The dwarven scotch wasn't even 5 years old yet!  :'( :'( This is one of the reasons I'm very careful about dealing with imps.
Booze was made to burn. 8)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Frankmanic on January 28, 2010, 02:32:14 pm
Quote from: Marko on April 21, 2009, 01:13:46 am
causing a cave-in over a magma pipe to 'see what happens' then found out 10 z levels down that I had dug right up along the magma pipe, and the cave-in punctured the roof through all that magma, which sent red hot death flowing through my living quarters

Epic!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Danjen on January 28, 2010, 03:19:47 pm
Quote from: DaJonkel on January 27, 2010, 05:20:26 pm
This sounds made up but it really happened to me.. I spend hours of mining and building on my new cliff side fort when I accidentally disconnected the entire fort from the cliff and well you can guess what happened.
How the hell did that happen?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HatfieldCW on January 28, 2010, 03:30:15 pm
Quote from: Danjen on January 28, 2010, 03:19:47 pm
Quote from: DaJonkel on January 27, 2010, 05:20:26 pm
This sounds made up but it really happened to me.. I spend hours of mining and building on my new cliff side fort when I accidentally disconnected the entire fort from the cliff and well you can guess what happened.
How the hell did that happen?
Unless I miss my guess, it was a result of trying to "prettify" the edges by mining out natural tiles and replacing them with constructed walls.  I've done this many times, occasionally dropping small chunks off the side and feeling like a fool.  To do it with a whole fort....  Spectacular.  If you have a save from a few frames before the...incident..., you should distribute it so that people can use it to benchmark processors.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Loyal on January 28, 2010, 04:39:00 pm
Quote from: HatfieldCW on January 28, 2010, 03:30:15 pm
Unless I miss my guess, it was a result of trying to "prettify" the edges by mining out natural tiles and replacing them with constructed walls.  I've done this many times, occasionally dropping small chunks off the side and feeling like a fool.  To do it with a whole fort....  Spectacular.  If you have a save from a few frames before the...incident..., you should distribute it so that people can use it to benchmark processors.
Well, there's always Project Cube.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zancor Mezoran on January 28, 2010, 08:17:46 pm
I think the most facepalm-deserving moment(s) I have had were when I had to build, and then take apart and reconstruct my magma pumping system (which ran halfway across the map) not once, but twice, even building a power plant for it, only to find that it didn't work...and that there was nothing I could do to make it work.

It took a 100+ dwarf fortress over two years of game time to do it, too. =P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Papa Cauldur on January 29, 2010, 06:31:08 am
I had a really awesome sight once. It had a chasm, a bottomless pit, a magma pipe and lots of trees. Until my Fisherdwarf became a !!Fisherdwarf!!. the Fire imps caused a massive forest fire that made me lose all my booze (Because I was still digging out the dining room, my Woodcutter, Jeweler and Stoneworker.

But on a positive note my Fish Cleaner gave those imps a major asskicking.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Taco Dan on January 29, 2010, 09:37:38 am
Quote from: DaJonkel on January 27, 2010, 05:20:26 pm
This sounds made up but it really happened to me.. I spend hours of mining and building on my new cliff side fort when I accidentally disconnected the entire fort from the cliff and well you can guess what happened.
I would feel silly too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mal7690 on January 29, 2010, 11:29:04 am
Quote from: HatfieldCW on January 28, 2010, 03:30:15 pm
Quote from: Danjen on January 28, 2010, 03:19:47 pm
Quote from: DaJonkel on January 27, 2010, 05:20:26 pm
This sounds made up but it really happened to me.. I spend hours of mining and building on my new cliff side fort when I accidentally disconnected the entire fort from the cliff and well you can guess what happened.
How the hell did that happen?
Unless I miss my guess, it was a result of trying to "prettify" the edges by mining out natural tiles and replacing them with constructed walls.  I've done this many times, occasionally dropping small chunks off the side and feeling like a fool.  To do it with a whole fort....  Spectacular.  If you have a save from a few frames before the...incident..., you should distribute it so that people can use it to benchmark processors.

Smooth and engrave, just smooth and engrave.

My latest was forgetting that magma only acts like water when it is a continuous stream to an operating pump and that a magma fall needs a drainage pipe larger than the inlet flow.

Previous to that I forgot that stone furniture melts, resulting in the loss of several ( :-\ 6) masterpiece statues.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jopax on January 30, 2010, 07:16:59 am
Not noticing why my dwarfs keep dying, then i decide to follow the odd looking parade and realize they were going across the map to fetch water for two lightly injured wrestlers, lost about five of the most important dwarwes that way, including my metalworkers, outpost broker and leader and my only expirienced bowyer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on January 30, 2010, 11:49:29 am
Finally of my own:

Realizing just how bad it was to put Farming and Masonry on the same dwarf at embark. They're both pretty full-time jobs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: random51 on January 30, 2010, 03:21:19 pm
I attempted to use a tamed dragon for Trade Depot defense. Gives a whole new meaning to "friendly fire".

Everything in and around the depot is burning and the dwarves decide it is time to take all of those burning things and put them into stockpiles inside the fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on January 30, 2010, 09:09:08 pm
Might not be the right thread, but:
My duke has mandated the construction of pike leather items, which I can't do between the lack of pikes and leather thereof. Fortunately, the human caravan arrived recently, loaded to the gunwales with several thousand dwarfbucks of stuff I want, and a few million more of things I don't want, including 2 hunks of pike leather, exactly enough to satisfy the duke. I then hurry over to the leather works and order the leathercrafter to sew several leather images using those pike leather, on the assumption that decorations are items and will satisfy the mandate. Apparently, they aren't, and I just wasted those leathers for nothing. Dammitall. At least I got rid of a few trade goods I had no other use for.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewoTigra on January 31, 2010, 12:58:14 am
Finding out you can mass-select the stone for constructions was more head-desk than face palm for me, but I remember one incident which was rather disastrous.

Finding out just what the [CAN_PICK_LOCKS] tag does. I hadn't noticed it before.
Spoiler: spoilered for size* (click to show/hide)

a Facepalm incident, yes, but quite a Fun one.

*tl;dr version - Orcs can break through locked doors, things went awry, final dwarf pulls lever - rocks fall, everybody dies.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CrossBolt on January 31, 2010, 12:56:47 pm
Spawning right next to a giant eagle...that was angry...and had a preference to killing dwarves...

and having a magma pool near my beer supply, that fortress fell quickly
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Julien Brightside on January 31, 2010, 04:07:20 pm
Quote from: NewoTigra on January 31, 2010, 12:58:14 am
*tl;dr version - Orcs can break through locked doors, things went awry, final dwarf pulls lever - rocks fall, everybody dies.

That was
AWESOME!

Thats how a fortress should end.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fist_Of_Armok on January 31, 2010, 05:57:28 pm
EDIT: Well, for one I put an image that was supposed to be in the Picture Fight thread in here...

But recently, I had been trying to reduce the number of ROCKSEVERYWHERE resulting from digging a new crafting complex and dining room by turning them into blocks-also, incidentally, ensuring I don't get any more FUCKING CRAFTSDWARVES.

KUBUK KULETUSAN IS LEGENDARY-PLUS! EVERY TIME HE SETS CHISEL TO BONE A MASTERPIECE RESULTS! WE DO NOT NEED MORE BONE CARVERS!

In any case.

I volunteer at the local co-op, which is kind of like a farmers market except you don't get to choose your produce-you get a box of the stuff every month for fifteen bucks, all of which is organic.

Incidentally, the building is FUCKING COLD, and as my laptop is four years old and made of lag, I bring it with me when I volunteer. It keeps the processor cool while I do my work, and provides music to boot.

While I was busy packing cabbages, goblins attacked! Since I could hardly put things down and stop, a couple of my new masons got killed.

*sigh*

At least my FPS will improve. Maybe. If I'm lucky.

I shudder to think what will happen when I finish digging my giant spherical dining room and start pouring a waterfall over the top. I think my computer will scream in agony.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Safe-Keeper on January 31, 2010, 06:37:16 pm
I'm doing a simple, routine-filled construction project, making a "balcony" of sorts for crossbowdwarves to use to fire down into a hallway below. One of the workers causes a cave-in, and falls with the offending fortification through several floors, ultimately ending up in the magma pipe.

I have never been more utterly dumbstruck than when I received the message "Urist McMiner has died in the heat!".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on February 01, 2010, 08:33:05 am
I modded my Rhesus Macaques to... Well, see for yourself.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I inserted the thermonuclear trigger and heatdam points after getting destroyed by them in my first autumn.

I embarked in a truly beautiful site, with a MAGMA PIPE IN CHALK, the source end of an underriver, and HFS.

My mechanic embarked ON FIRE. I had unwittingly caused an overflow problem by making sure that the leather WOULDN't catch fire. My mechanic was walking around as a cloud of smoke (he was wearing a pair of !!Rhesus Macaque Leather Shoes!!), encouraging me to start an aboveground fort. I was hoping he'd just die, but he wasn't even getting hurt.

Setting LEATHER_HEATDAM_POINT to 0 stopped it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on February 01, 2010, 11:03:45 am
In SGIX, in a save that accidentally got skipped, I forgot that you can't dig under an aquifer and flooded the tombs, boneshops, and arena.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tastypaste on February 01, 2010, 12:53:54 pm
After learning about single pillars holding up massive objects and the possibility of collapsing them via lever I decide I want to do this in my own fortress. Only instead of practicing on a small scale test I decide to go for maximum damage.

So I begin a mega digging project. I designated a massive channel around the entire edge of the map (one square in) on every single z-level. My plan is to attach the entire map to a single pillar so that when I'm done with my fortress I can collapse it all at once thus killing all my dwarfs and a few unsuspecting groundhogs. Knowing I need a walkway for my miners to channel from I designate an inner perimeter of mining so they can stand there and channel out the rest. After ages of designating the entire bottom level for mining and all the z-levels for channels, I figure my miners will be busy for a few years so I go off to attend to other fortress business.

Soon I get a message that a miner has canceled digging and is seeking vermin for food. Puzzled I zoom to the miner only to find that Urist McLegendaryMiner and his three friends have dug themselves down towards the middle of the underground z-levels with no escape route. They have my only four picks. I designate a mining path back to the central staircase and start praying they can make it there before they die with my picks.

I immediately request pick axes at highest priority from the liaisons. When they arrive I mount an emergency rescue operation with three new miners. Only I forgot to undesignate the previous digging project so Urist McLegendaryMiner and his now two surviving buddies have been digging themselves further away from the rescue crew. I quickly undesignate all the old mining but it's too late and two more miners die of thirst. The last Urist McLegendaryMiner is slowly working his way towards the rescue crew and after ages they finally meet.

A helpful idler brings him some food. So not all is lost. I still have one legendary miner, or so I though. He dies moments later of thirst. Now I have 7 picks and 3 dabbling miners. The mega digging project commences with more care but to no avail as the fortress was overtaken by my first ever encounter with HFS a season later.

I plan to revisit this doomsday device idea at some point in the future with better preparations and a more organized approach.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Liokaizer on February 01, 2010, 06:38:10 pm
My dwarves have been working the last several months on a causeway to connect the two mountains on my map. Their primary supply was stones left from the mining of nearby hallways. When the causeway started reaching about 75% completion, their supply started dwindling and they start travelling farther to get their stone. Thus, I assign a stone stockpile near the causeway. It is filled up quickly. I put down the building orders for the final segment. Instead of grabbing the stones from the stockpile and going across the causeway to build toward the other mountain, they start grabbing the stones, walking all the way outside and around to the other mountain to build it there, completely defeating the purpose of the stockpile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on February 01, 2010, 09:04:48 pm
In the interest of getting more material and trading goods, I modded wagons, mules, and donkeys to have a metric fuckton of trading capacity, added two or three zeroes. Now I'll get lots of interesting animals from the elves, lots of gems and metal from the dwarves, and lots of, well.. from the humans. Somewhat excessive, but not unreasonable. The elven caravan went nicely, and I got a grizzly bear, black bear, and fox out of the deal. When the humans came, they brought many wagons, and unloading them all took ages. It took so long, in fact, that by the time they were unloaded, they had to leave. In desperation, I had the depot deconstructed, seizing everything they had. All zillion hunks of meat, fish, cheese, and plants, which very quickly started to rot, in the underground depot. All zillion crafts and clothing, which kept dwarfs busy hauling everything everywhere. Between that and mistakes made in the magma casting outfit, I wound up reverting to a previous save.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Exiledhero99 on February 01, 2010, 09:55:42 pm
my first magma forge comes to mind. my legenary miner digs the whole chamber with the final step being to flood it. Luckily, he survives and climbs out of the pipe and stands in the forge for a short while...he then decides that he would like to climb back in the hole for no reason. I attribute this to my lack of forbidding pathing so *facepalm*  :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on February 01, 2010, 10:15:36 pm
You can't actually forbid dwarves from going somewhere. (Except outside, sort of.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: happydog23 on February 01, 2010, 10:17:31 pm
Quote from: CobaltKobold on February 01, 2010, 10:15:36 pm
You can't actually forbid dwarves from going somewhere. (Except outside, sort of.)

This is why I generally use a floodgate and a door between any area that will contain magma before it gets filled.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Desiderium on February 02, 2010, 05:01:08 am
So, I build this grand fortress dome which I hewed from the mountainside itself, hollow out the topside of the dome and fill it with 2 z-levels of magma. Beforehand I built magma-safe floodgates that open up the flow all over the entire front of my fortress, where my hastily built Trade Depot is.

No, that's not the good part. I decide to move the trade depot on top of the dome, and make a path up to it accordingly, as well as an opening to the roof of my fortress from the inside. Finally, the Merchants from the mountainhomes arrive and begin to make their trek to my fortress. Little did I know, Bug 850 had different ideas on the fate of the supplies from the Mountainhomes and their merchants.

While putting the finishing touches on my pumpstacks that will pump water through the center of my fortress giving everyone happy mist thoughts and possibly flooding everything if it goes awry, I get a message.

Urist McHauler has died in the heat.

...What?

I look for his body around the usual suspect areas, smelting room and such. Nothing, search around the barra-
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McMayor has died in the heat.
Urist McChampion has died in the heat.
Urist McCat has died in the heat.
Urist McMason has died in the heat.

Everything is on fire, the barracks, the trade depot, and all the haulers which caught fire are now running through my fortress to their wooden beds to rest, and asking for water from soon to be flaming dwarves, who give them water, catch fire, catch the bucket they're holding on fire, and proceed to take the wooden bucket back to the stockpile room full of wooden bins, barrels, alcohol, and buckets.

Needless to say, my entire fortress was alit within a matter of seconds, all because my Merchants walked up a ramp with only a single wall separating them from magma. Because of such, the pack animals caught fire, the wagon pushed them to the Trade Depot full of wooden bins. Fun ensued.

/facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord_Shadow on February 02, 2010, 11:19:27 am
Lose 21 dwarves to one skeletal whale... then have one recruit wrestle it to death...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bralbaard on February 02, 2010, 02:35:24 pm
Quote from: Desiderium on February 02, 2010, 05:01:08 am

Urist McHauler has died in the heat.

...What?
 all because my Merchants walked up a ramp with only a single wall separating them from magma. Because of such, the pack animals caught fire, the wagon pushed them to the Trade Depot full of wooden bins. Fun ensued.

/facepalm

We had that happen in the Halltraded succession game as well, the trade depot was stacked to the roof with rum for trading as well, fun times...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Exiledhero99 on February 02, 2010, 02:42:45 pm
Quote from: CobaltKobold on February 01, 2010, 10:15:36 pm
You can't actually forbid dwarves from going somewhere. (Except outside, sort of.)

I can't remember where, but I know there is a button to prioritize roads
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on February 02, 2010, 02:48:59 pm
Quote from: Exiledhero99 on February 02, 2010, 02:42:45 pm
Quote from: CobaltKobold on February 01, 2010, 10:15:36 pm
You can't actually forbid dwarves from going somewhere. (Except outside, sort of.)

I can't remember where, but I know there is a button to prioritize roads

You're thinking about traffic zones, and those will not keep them from going that way if there's no other route to their destination.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Innominate on February 02, 2010, 08:11:35 pm
Quote from: Lord_Shadow on February 02, 2010, 11:19:27 am
Lose 21 dwarves to one skeletal whale... then have one recruit wrestle it to death...
A while back I lost a few legendary wrestlers (didn't have any weapons, it was a glass only fort) to 3 skeletal whales. Then the entire fort to the next charge of 4 more as soon as I killed the last of the others.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Exiledhero99 on February 02, 2010, 09:20:46 pm
Quote from: assimilateur on February 02, 2010, 02:48:59 pm
Quote from: Exiledhero99 on February 02, 2010, 02:42:45 pm
Quote from: CobaltKobold on February 01, 2010, 10:15:36 pm
You can't actually forbid dwarves from going somewhere. (Except outside, sort of.)

Soooooooooo my legendary miner was doomed to his own idiocy?

I can't remember where, but I know there is a button to prioritize roads

You're thinking about traffic zones, and those will not keep them from going that way if there's no other route to their destination.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LoneJedi7 on February 03, 2010, 02:33:19 pm
my moment was when i had my legendary minor/Broker/expedition leader mine into a water murky pool that i drained in a failed attempt at making an underground lake, and the water (though it was only 2/7) came out and froze him, and his equipment (which included giant cave spidersilk socks), solid because it was mid-winter. 

never saw it coming.......

this post was made in the loving memory of: Billy Vabrokigoth, Miner.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SethCreiyd on February 03, 2010, 05:09:16 pm
I just lost a promising fortress to magma for the first time because I channeled the wrong tile.  I feel dead inside great.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RandomNumberGenerator on February 04, 2010, 12:41:20 am
I wanted to rapidly boost my fortress wealth, so I set my stoneworkers to mass produce crafts, smiths to mass produce metal decorations, glassworkers to mass produce crystal and jewlers to mass produce gems. Then I closed the only entrance to my fort so I wouldn't have to worry about goblins and let it run for a while.

I came back an hour later to find my fortress in a tantrum spiral, starving to death. The one thing I forgot to set my dwarves to mass-produce - food. I had well over 2000 inedible whip vines and sweat pods. Plenty of booze though. At least my dwarves died drunk. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kyronea on February 04, 2010, 05:36:18 am
Quote from: RandomNumberGenerator on February 04, 2010, 12:41:20 am
I wanted to rapidly boost my fortress wealth, so I set my stoneworkers to mass produce crafts, smiths to mass produce metal decorations, glassworkers to mass produce crystal and jewlers to mass produce gems. Then I closed the only entrance to my fort so I wouldn't have to worry about goblins and let it run for a while.

I came back an hour later to find my fortress in a tantrum spiral, starving to death. The one thing I forgot to set my dwarves to mass-produce - food. I had well over 2000 inedible whip vines and sweat pods. Plenty of booze though. At least my dwarves died drunk. 

How do you forget to set them to mass-produce food though? Usually that's something you set up at the beginning of the fortress and more or less leave to run itself from then on, right? (Though I generally tend to use edible-from-harvest plants for food production and use the other stuff as supplements mostly for cooking and brewing.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on February 04, 2010, 05:20:56 pm
Quote from: Kyronea on February 04, 2010, 05:36:18 am
Quote from: RandomNumberGenerator on February 04, 2010, 12:41:20 am
I wanted to rapidly boost my fortress wealth, so I set my stoneworkers to mass produce crafts, smiths to mass produce metal decorations, glassworkers to mass produce crystal and jewlers to mass produce gems. Then I closed the only entrance to my fort so I wouldn't have to worry about goblins and let it run for a while.

I came back an hour later to find my fortress in a tantrum spiral, starving to death. The one thing I forgot to set my dwarves to mass-produce - food. I had well over 2000 inedible whip vines and sweat pods. Plenty of booze though. At least my dwarves died drunk. 

How do you forget to set them to mass-produce food though? Usually that's something you set up at the beginning of the fortress and more or less leave to run itself from then on, right? (Though I generally tend to use edible-from-harvest plants for food production and use the other stuff as supplements mostly for cooking and brewing.)

Not if the food has to be milled and cooked before it can be eaten, as is the case with what he had
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kyronea on February 04, 2010, 09:25:53 pm
Quote from: Reese link=topic=34430.msg1013083#msg1013083 date=1265322056
Not if the food has to be milled and cooked before it can be eaten, as is the case with what he had
[/quote
Yes I realize that. What I'm wondering is why you would rely mainly on a food source that requires that extra processing? It...it just makes more sense to me to have at least something other than that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on February 04, 2010, 09:51:32 pm
It makes more sense than might be readily apparent. With few purple helmets, or whatever else might be eaten raw, your dwarves are going to be eating high-value roasts for most of the time, which keeps them happier than basic raw food.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McOverlord on February 04, 2010, 10:14:21 pm
Building some quarters for the queen (when she arrives) at the top of the tower.
Constructors run out, but their inexplicable cave adaptation means that they were vomiting everywhere.

The reason for the aforementioned cave adaptation? I neglected to reassign my outdoor statue garden...
Not a serious facepalm, but it sure made me feel stupid.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: random51 on February 05, 2010, 11:19:06 am
Making quarters for the King and finding that the rooms aren't up to royal quality.

Ok, I dig out the rooms making them a bit bigger, smooth the new walls, smooth and engrave the new floor tiles.

Still not royal quality, expand it again, still not royal quality.  Hit myself on the head and realize I didn't go into the room with 'q' and expand its boundaries to include the new areas that were added.

This is particularly facepalm because I seem to eventually forget and do it again in some other fortress down the line.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Quantum Toast on February 05, 2010, 12:57:31 pm
Quote from: Urist McOverlord on February 04, 2010, 10:14:21 pm
Building some quarters for the queen (when she arrives) at the top of the tower.
Constructors run out, but their inexplicable cave adaptation means that they were vomiting everywhere.
Hope she likes the colour green.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Retro on February 05, 2010, 08:33:56 pm
Was building a pump stack for a magma cistern. I remembered to channel under the impassable tiles so there was proper power transfer, etc, but for the pump output tile, rather than channelling it out from above to allow the above pumps to take it, I ramped the hole out from under - nothing special, it's always been my standard designating method for stacks. However, this time, I made three mistakes. The first was to ignore my usual OCD tendancy to remove all loose stone immediately to try and get myself to loosen up a little. I figured the magma would eventually melt all that stone away anyhow. The second was to not remove the ramps, which I didn't for the same reason of actively trying to rebel against my obsessive habits. The third was not walling off the space above the output tile of each pump layer. Why bother? It's not like any dwarf was going to jump in or anything.

Cue an hour later, real-time. I'm suddenly spammed with dangerous terrain cancellations. Thinking my power plant had sprung a leak, I zoom to the last dwarf to cancel and found them at the access tower for the pump stack. Why? Damned if I knew, but they were on fire, and died shortly after. I doublechecked the job cancellations to try and solve this mystery, and finally found it.

The dwarves were trying to clean the molten rock from the magma-filled pump stack.

The final destination of the magma hadn't been filled yet, so the pumps were moving fast enough that there was never actively a 7/7 block of magma in any of the tiles. However, the rocks got hot enough to switch into the 'molten' phase, and since I'd left the output space accessible from above, the dwarves were trying to path into the perfectly safe area to take the non-forbidden molten stone and clean it up. I immediately whipped out a d-b-f, but it was too late for the first few victims. They died in the heat while their comrades were carrying them to safety.

tl;dr I love Dwarf Fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Julien Brightside on February 05, 2010, 09:00:51 pm
My speardwarf is called
Uvash Syrupcrowded the Cunning Kin of Blankets.

I mean, honestly, how do you get a name like that? Eat during a siege and sleep during the next?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: happydog23 on February 05, 2010, 09:57:27 pm
I'm working on a "simple" pressurized magma trap for a gate entrance.  I'm planning on it being 5 tiles wide. 

I designed it very modular in 2x2 blocks that are going to be mirrored.

I built a prototype 2x2 block in order to test my theory and make sure one lever could control it all.


All the sudden there was more magma in the trap than I'd anticipated...  I'd forgotten a diagonal.

No problem, switch to empty trap instead of fill trap. 

Things stopped, but now there was too much magma in the trap for me to make sure it worked.

I sent Urist McRedShirtMiner to go channel out a couple squares to lower the magma levels.

Oh right.... My "empty trap" pump was causing the magma cistern to be pressurized. 

"Medic RedShirt" ran in to save Urist McRedShirtMiner who melted both of his feet off and then passed out. 

Locked the door on those two who were now on fire. 

Oh well, didn't need the room they were in... I can still test my trap if I flood the room they were in to 7/7 magma.


**Jeopardy theme**

Alright new improved RedShirt approved magma cistern full.  Test the trap again. 

Got extra magma again... Reverse the pumps...  Oh right... the place where the dwaves died is 1 level below the exit pump.  And because it used to be an obsidian farm the new level getting flooded is lined with fortifications. 


I did about 2 or 3 facepalms in there.  And now, I feel I am one step closer to the proper level of respect for pressurized magma.  On the bright side... The logic system I decided to use worked great..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Safe-Keeper on February 05, 2010, 11:44:24 pm
One of my dog patrol leaders (read: single-squad crossbowdwarf in charge of a large pack of war and hunting dogs, mostly used for patrolling outside of fortress for thieves and snatchers) was caught outside with his dogs when a siege began, and while he survived unhurt, he lost just about all of his dogs (he had 12, I believe). He took this quite heavily and ended up throwing a tantrum at the local waterfall.

Taking out his anger on the floor grate he was standing on might not have been the smartest thing he's ever done. He survived, mostly because the river had recently been drained and was only 3-4 units deep, but bled to death shortly thereafter inside the fortress. Pretty sure he wasn't hurt from falling into the water, and I don't think there were troops near him when he died, but now that I think about it, it was probably the hammerer who did it. That ****** is going to find himself locked in his quarters soon.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Euld on February 06, 2010, 01:29:41 am
Decided to challenge myself a bit.  Found a magma pipe near a road and decided to set up a nice town for travelers to supposedly stop by in.  Progress has been slow, had expected to at least have a town hall built after a year but I've been busy.  Setting up the magma workshops has been slow, same with figuring out how to deal with the aquifer that is apparently present on a few different z-levels and entirely contains my flux stone.

Then a child got abducted.
Then a ambush showed up.  With two squads and crossbow goblins.
Thankfully, the humans were at the depot at the time, so I only lost three of my four wrestling recruits, a cat, and a war dog.  Pretty nasty attack for just being there for a year and a season... I guess that long andesite block road made the goblins jealous?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on February 06, 2010, 05:18:04 pm
I started a new fort because I felt like trying to make a volcano by carving away all the terrain around a pyramid and then pumping magma up through the top to pour down around it.

I embarked in a heavily wooded area, and set to planning out my volcano  Everythingw as staked out, and I planned to ramp away all of the ground I didn't need.

Now, I am aware that carving a ramp under a tree will cause a cave in, so I made sure to cut down all the trees that wwre in teha rea I was removing, and then I designated the entire swath as ramps.  This was after a near miss where I forgot I hadn't finished clear cutting and I have a cave in knock out both of my miners.

Anyway, I redesignate the entire swath to be ramped out, and my miners get to work, taikign breaks and stuff as them like, not moving too fast...

One of the saplings in the area I'd clear cut grew to full size and crushed one of my- now legendary, miners.

The worst thing is I knew that could happen, and I had taken steps to prevent it... and I hadn't saved in about 3 seasons and am only 1 year in, so it would have been a huge waste to save scum at that point.

Random peasant from the first immigration wave has inherited his pick.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jopax on February 06, 2010, 10:27:58 pm
Well in my new fort where i decided to tackle magma again(last time i failed horribly, but it wasn't the magma, it was like the world conspired against me using it), anyway two facepalms were had.
First, seeing as i don't want to overcomplicate it into fun i just dug out a room next to the pipe with and identical one above it, then in my rush to get industry going i leave the intake one tile wide and shut the door to the room, then i channel out from above, and just as the magma starts pouring in i realize i hadn't built any fortifications to filter out the imps *facepalm*
Then to fix this, i dig out another room, expand the one above then build fortifications and then channel out, all is working well by now.
A while after that some migrants come from the northeast corner, now they spawn there and just wait, all the while a huge wildfire is approaching them(the pipe is open air and i didn't completley walled it off by then so the imps got out), and nicely enough the dwarwes decide that it's time to get into the fort, and go trough the fire, all of them burning, now it wasn't a blow for my fort as it was somewhat established but dammit there were some useful proffesions there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: happydog23 on February 06, 2010, 11:01:47 pm
Quote from: Jopax on February 06, 2010, 10:27:58 pm
... nicely enough the dwarwes decide that it's time to get into the fort, and go trough the fire, all of them burning...

At least they didn't live long enough to serve as a "fuse" from the Fire Imp directly to your alcohol stash..

Well that might have been fun actually...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ungulateman on February 07, 2010, 01:57:56 am
I've set up a toll gate for caravans in my fortress.

Whenever traders come through my chanelled out corridor to my depot, a set of bridges (connected to levers) seal them into the depot. I then trade with them, seize or offer goods depending on what they brought and who they are, and then I lower the gate leading out. It looks great, and is fun as hell to mess around with too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Silvit on February 07, 2010, 08:17:39 am
letting my dwarves butcher fire imps.
those of you who haven't seen barrels of fat burn, its like booze except for a year.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 07, 2010, 11:31:22 am
I set up an airlock system which never left a path between the fortress and the outside. It worked great for the wagons, not so much for the liaisons. I ended up building a second bridge for just the liaison to use, which I just know I'll leave down someday.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewoTigra on February 07, 2010, 07:13:31 pm
I decided that I needed to increase the size of my military, as 6 dwarves defending a fort of 110+ was rather silly.
Unfortunately, I forgot that the current military were all decked out in exceptional and masterwork equipment, and were all champions legendary pretty dang awesome demigods, and therefore did not switch them out to "on duty" before letting the newbies start sparring. With no armour.
Oh the Humanity Hilarity Dwarfity!

Now the rest of my population are tantrum spiraling because they're sad about losing useless peasants who were somehow friends with everyone in the fortress.
They are so busy squabbling that no-one is pulling the lever that closes the gates, despite the horde of Orcs outside, racing towards the entrance. And the military are dead, resting or imprisoned for murder. Great.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Safe-Keeper on February 07, 2010, 08:05:41 pm
Finally have a really good story to share. :D

I finally decided to kill off my hammerer, so I put him in a catapult pillbox and built and locked a door behind him. The door was opened, and ding, dong, the hammerer was dead.

While he was fighting dehydration, I set up a nice little Grand Mausoleaum just for him. I put a tomb on the obsidian floor I'd made over the magma pipe, and once he was inside, designated channels around the coffin.

You can probably guess what happened next. Suddenly (and yes, this happened even though I was there, watching so nothing would happen) the highly experienced miner is standing on the coffin, channeling away the rock around him. Before I can hit pause, he collapses through the floor into the magma, while the coffin magically jumps away and is left sitting on the rock floor, unharmed.

Fortunately, some magma spilled over and the coffin, with the hammerer inside, was reduced to Molten olivine pretty quickly. Still put a pretty big dampener on the glee I felt for my "magma tomb" project, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rat Of Wisdom on February 08, 2010, 07:57:06 pm
Quote from: NewoTigra on February 07, 2010, 07:13:31 pm
I decided that I needed to increase the size of my military, as 6 dwarves defending a fort of 110+ was rather silly.

Well...

I don't know what mod you're playing (other than that it apparently includes Orcs), and I don't know how much more hardcore Orcs are than goblins, but 6 champions in mediocre quality steel armor is all I've ever needed and my fort's at 260+...

I don't even bother chaining dogs at the entrance to guard against thieves anymore. Ambushes wasted two separate packs, and between the eight dogs in question they caught two kobolds and a goblin. Not exactly cost-effective when I can activate the nearest pair of champs and have them rush outside and hurl the offender into something solid before it's out of sight of the fort...

Then again, you always need moar dakka. No exceptions. Even when "dakka" is hammers and axes and whatnot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on February 08, 2010, 08:06:50 pm
6 Champions can lose to as few as 12 orcs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rat Of Wisdom on February 08, 2010, 08:23:40 pm
Good lord, they're that hardcore?

Here's hoping they make it to vanilla someday. Give the carp a run for their money.

Note to self: increase construction priority of siege battery and dwarven mech hangar.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MC Dirty on February 09, 2010, 07:08:50 am
Quote from: Rat Of Wisdom on February 08, 2010, 08:23:40 pm
Good lord, they're that hardcore?

Here's hoping they make it to vanilla someday. Give the carp a run for their money.
They won't. According to Toady, goblins and orcs are basically and mythologically (is that a word?) the same. Some people call them orcs, some call them goblins. So, the Orc Mod orcs are rather just Goblins++.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Arrkhal on February 09, 2010, 09:11:06 am
There's also people who believe that Tolkien's Uruk-hai were just half-orc, half-human, and ended up enormous due to hybrid vigor, sort of like ligers.

Anyway, dumb thing.  I spent 2 solid hours on 6 attempts to punch through a double aquifer.  The 6th try was successful, and I channeled down to discover... the soil underneath wasn't an aquifer!  It was a friggin' single aquifer, even though my first single aquifer punch had flooded!  Arrrggg!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: m00npirate on February 09, 2010, 03:25:14 pm
Bringing 50 bituminous coal to a map I knew had magma >_>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on February 09, 2010, 03:27:01 pm
So you have plenty of coal to make steel with.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: happydog23 on February 09, 2010, 04:27:38 pm
Quote from: Lord Shonus on February 09, 2010, 03:27:01 pm
So you have plenty of coal to make steel with.

I decided to make the orcs tougher so I gave them steel instead of iron. 
I say that because I'm almost done with my magma trap which will allow me to switch from using coal iron and flux to make steel, to instead forge steel from magma, blood and corrupted souls.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bmaczero on February 09, 2010, 08:16:03 pm
I just had a pretty major one.

Apparently when designating Horizontal Axles, you can use the same u-k-m-h resize thing as with constructions.

Yeah.  So I didn't know that.

But it wasn't that hard to designate them by hand...I try not to move power too far and I'm quick at "h-enter h-enter h-enter".  The real killer thing was that making axles longer costs less wood.  Lots less.  As in, you can make a 10-tile axle for the price of 3 1-tile ones.

D'oh!

I now have a forest of extra wood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkrider2 on February 10, 2010, 07:09:04 am
Was designing a catapult pillbox at the front gate of my fort... and I discovered that catapults don't fire over walls >_< wtf  I put fortifications in them and destroyed one goblin squad using them though. :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lordcooper on February 10, 2010, 12:25:55 pm
Quote from: darkrider2 on February 10, 2010, 07:09:04 am
Was designing a catapult pillbox at the front gate of my fort... and I discovered that catapults don't fire over walls >_< wtf  I put fortifications in them and destroyed one goblin squad using them though. :D

Happened to me too :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: OddProphet on February 10, 2010, 02:55:24 pm
In my confusion with the mechanics of magma forges, I frustratedly ordered the entire room to be channeled, not knowing I had to channel, then place forges.  I lost a miner as he swung his pick at his feet, condemning him to the magma.

Later on I accidentally poked a hole in the magma wall in my mad lust for obsidian.  The red stuff flowed out down the stairs into the gold/olivine mines, slaying all of my miners. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkrider2 on February 10, 2010, 03:47:32 pm
Embarked on a desert map completely flat and evil.  I was planning on having the center of the fort be this massive circular staircase going around a big hole, with bridges crossing the gap at neccessary places, and to put a glass roof on the top of it after I get the industries moving.  And then to set up a massive gobbo maze with traps galore outside.

So I'm mining out a pretty good looking circle hole, and I get to the 3rd z level down and... AQUIFER >_< doh.

EDIT: I reembarked, found another red sand site with magma pipe and no aquifer this time... so I'm digging the staircase and what do you know, It was directly on top of the magma pipe! AAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! Guess I'll just keep trying...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Moontayle on February 10, 2010, 07:12:29 pm
Just had this one.

I have a new setup I'm using on embark which eschews the forge since it generally takes me a while to get everything going so that I need it (currently just bought three from the dwarven caravan in year 2 of the fortress). However, since I had a magma pipe and lots of sand and a burning desire (get it?) to make weapon traps with lots of green glass trap components, I went and created enough magma paths to handle my standard 2x2 glass furnaces and smelters and figured when I got around to needing the forges I could just make some more paths and channel out a tile or two to get the flow going again. So I did that.

In order to get the new paths I created a stairway down and then another up one below and made the paths. When I was ready to feed the paths, I designated a channel made where the stairs were (so no dwarves would go down) and then when that was done I had another channel made to get the flow going. A few seconds later I get a message saying my Legendary Miner had just burned to death... It seems he removed the down staircase from below, trapping himself.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheDJ17 on February 10, 2010, 07:35:20 pm
I tiled large swaths of my tower cap farm before muddying.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: happydog23 on February 10, 2010, 07:57:37 pm
I just built 78 screw pumps.

And when I say built.  I mean I had to demolish 78 screw pumps and build new ones.... This time ALL of them are magma-safe.

*SMACK*

And FYI... 78 pumps moves a lot of fluid.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on February 10, 2010, 09:36:09 pm
Built a pretty nice magma bridge-drop at my entrance. Dissatisfied with the time it took to drain, I built a mechanism to mix water with the magma. I didn't realize that the bridge would prevent the removal of the floor tiles, making the drop useless.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on February 11, 2010, 01:36:07 pm
Quote from: MC Dirty on February 09, 2010, 07:08:50 am
Quote from: Rat Of Wisdom on February 08, 2010, 08:23:40 pm
Good lord, they're that hardcore?

Here's hoping they make it to vanilla someday. Give the carp a run for their money.
They won't. According to Toady, goblins and orcs are basically and mythologically (is that a word?) the same. Some people call them orcs, some call them goblins. So, the Orc Mod orcs are rather just Goblins++.
I believe that orcs are half human half goblin, by their green appearance and large canines.

What are goblins?I don't give a fuck.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rolan7 on February 11, 2010, 02:16:51 pm
Quote from: TheDJ17 on February 10, 2010, 07:35:20 pm
I tiled large swaths of my tower cap farm before muddying.

I tiled large swaths of my food-farm *after* muddying.
And I muddied it with buckets from above (pond designation).
Yeah...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Psychoceramics on February 12, 2010, 03:07:53 am
a goblin squad took one (1) casualty, and then fled for the hills.

Dammit! I wanted that goblinite!

I guess that's what I get for only letting one orc out of the 4 squads that came survive. Well, I didn't really let him, he was just the only one smart enough not to stand on the spike traps. Or the weapon traps. Or on the give-away bridge his fearless leader tried to lead him on to. So I guess he earned the right to stay alive.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sermihage on February 12, 2010, 04:08:59 am
So I finally decided to start up my first megaproject. The great fortress Lancercusps was going to be 15 z-levels underwater, have an internal obsidian farm, room for 300 3x3 dwarf rooms, A giant rampart outside the water, a hanging rampart above the fortress (on top of the water), and a Giant wall from one side of the map to the other, with a rampart on top.

It was year three, when I suddenly got 40 migrants, bringing my dwarf count up to 93. Panicking due to the soon to come sieges, I channel out the outside of the ring and build the three golden orthoclase bridges and lock myself in. The caravan comes, and I let them in.

Time to start building! The first step was to rewall the upper ring of the reservoir. When I finished the last corner, I noticed later that the caravan had just gotten slaughtered. I kept looking for the way they got out, and even pondered if they had flown or something.

So now I had 20 or so goblins going after me, so I institude marshal law. 30 dwarfs die. When I had 6 dwarfs left because of the tantrum spiral, I decided to just abandon the place and reclaim it later.


... to find out the cruel way that designations dont get saved.

Ten to twelve hours of slow and perfectionist designations lost.

 :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on February 12, 2010, 05:14:18 am
Macros will help with that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fullmoon on February 12, 2010, 11:37:33 am
Last game - nice place, mostly sand, enough trees, few beasties (though there was a carp infestation, but fortunately 3zl down the waterfall). Got through 5 seasons, then read in wiki about mist generator - http://dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/File:Newmist.jpg (http://dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/File:Newmist.jpg). Set up large enough system of self-powered pumps. Next step - pour down some water in mist generator room, directly above large meeting hall with two thirds of entire population. As seen in picture, there is 1x1 pond.
So I thought - let's make here a well! And that pond will make perfect way to fill up well cistern. One level below.
Well, first it happened that my machinery incapable of pouring down water in mist room and powering up mist pump - some of water spilled down, wetting hall floor. Damn. OK, stop it all, mprove machinery, as well as closing mist holes with hatches, leaving only hole leading down to cistern. Done. Let's pour some water. And let's make some digging at other map edge...

Now, what will happen if you pour water down 4 z levels? Right, it'll easily come up one z level and flood entire fortress through well. And control levers are right behind flooded part of fortress. And water still comes... /facepalm

And some newer stuff - got idea of some sort of megaproject - find map with pit and sand, and cover pit with glass blocks to make floor adn ceiling. You know, bottomless pit  under your feet... So I gen'd world, found map 5x5 with pit, magma, lot of other resources... and  sandy clay instead of sand. FFFFUUUUU.....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mickel on February 12, 2010, 07:33:42 pm
Quote from: Jim Groovester on April 21, 2009, 07:03:13 pm
When building walls and floors and the like, use uhkm to change dimensions.

I am facepalming right now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tcei on February 13, 2010, 08:51:42 am
*sigh* Just lost my current fort to orcs.

So I decided I wanted my barracks to be outside. After building the initial walls against the side of the cliff I went up a z-lvl and built a wall along the edge of the cliff to avoid snipers hanging out ontop of my baracks later on. Appearently I missed one diagonal on this wall as a short while later I get the message Urist Mcdwarfndwarf has canceld picking nose, inturpted by orc x30. Within a matter of minutes my entire fort had crumbled :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rico21 on February 14, 2010, 08:29:21 am
If I make a base in a canyon, I usually make it first priority to remove all the ramps leading up the mountain so enemies can't suddenly drop in the middle of my area.  I just found out that "remove ramps" in the designation menu also applies to natural ramps.  I used to think the only way to make them disappear was to build walls in their spot.  The time I could have saved before..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hunterdew on February 14, 2010, 01:20:37 pm
When worldgen put "The Carnal Hill" next to "The Forest of Decency."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hobbie on February 14, 2010, 05:18:32 pm
This one JUST happened...

My brand new fortress was attacked by roaming harpies and beak dogs. Everyone died except my woodsdwarf and a random miner who went insane and ran off into the woods screaming and ripping his own clothes off.

So I figure the Fortress is salvageable. I send my sane Dwarf back to the fortress to flip the switch to the drawbridge and lock himself in. He does. Then he charges across the bridge and gets crushed by it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Danjen on February 14, 2010, 08:49:58 pm
I decided to give my clothing industry a much needed boost, so I decided to use an above ground farm system, with the appropriate crops. However, I needed to irrigate everything. So, I make a pump beside the river, for my dwarf to pump it and flood the area. Well, somehow the idiot managed to drown himself in an open plain. What I think happened was that the water pushed him into a nearby pool, immediately drowning him. I still want to know how he was stupid enough to do that.

The real kicker? He was my clothier.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on February 15, 2010, 12:24:08 am
My first fort.  So I'm setting up my new dungeon master's pad.  I'm engraving everything, which is total overkill, anyway, but it's smooth wall, and I have a legendary engraver sitting on his thumbs, so why not?

Then a goblin seige hits.  Not a big one, they aren't even capable of passing the first three tiles of standard traps, of which I have 15 before they get to the smasher bridge in my (fully engraved) hallway, then the hall of spikes.  I don't even bother putting my military on active duty.

I hit the "All dwarves inside" button, and everyone dutifully scurries inside, while spamming my message box with job cancellations because I was doing a major greenhouse building project.  (With statue gardens, a lake, and enough space to get some above-ground trees growing "underground", and generally set up a permanent underground lifestyle. Hateful sun!)

So anyway, I watch, slightly bemused, as the goblins slowly trundle towards certain death, wondering if I should flip the drawbridge lever that would fling them in to my fortress, just so I can kill them all, when all of a sudden, my legendary engraver comes RUNNING OUT OF THE FORTRESS, DIRECTLY INTO THE GOBLIN HORDE[/b].  It seems that I had forgotten to lock him in the room when I had told him to engrave, so he had somehow gotten it in his thick skull to run outside in the middle of a seige when going outside was forbidden to engrave THE WRONG SIDE OF THE WALL.  He didn't even notice the goblins for some reason, although considering he didn't know what "Don't go outside" meant, that shouldn't be too surprising.  He almost literally threw himself on their spears.

After I was done screaming at my monitor (about 5 minutes) I just save-scummed that BS out of existence.  Things like that just don't happen.  I then had to put up with my mayor trying to hold meetings with the trade representative by running outside of her spacious office, taking a walk that lasts 5 dwarf days, to speak to the representative (still inside her office) from the cliff face outside her office (as I built it to have an impressive view with windows).  They would then, for no apparent reason, switch whether they would be outside or inside. EVERY SINGLE TIME THEY TRIED.  The mayor would then get thirsty or tired from all that unnecessary walking, or something, and would then go all the way back inside to her bed, only to go back outside and try again.

It made me weep bitter tears of frustration.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deimos56 on February 15, 2010, 01:21:30 am
You could always have a (well guarded) door to the outside from the mayor's office that's forbidden unless there's meetings to be had.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on February 15, 2010, 01:46:06 am
It would actually have been easier to have just removed all the ramps up the cliff face.  I actually selected the site because it was a sort of conical spike of mountain that grew up detached from the rest of the mountains, and my mayor's office was on the highest floor that had more than a couple tiles of "wall".  When I finished putting in all-window walls, it would have been like a Space Needle of natural stone, which would have been thematically quite cool, even if the dwarves wouldn't care.

As it stood, I just carved out some space a few floors down (made the space needle my countess's dining room), and put her office there, instead, where "misaimed" meetings would be held in her bedroom, instead.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jopax on February 15, 2010, 05:31:34 am
Well i seem to be cursed when it comes to finding features.My first fort including magma was going great, i had a dining room, some workshops and bedrooms it was all going great, untill i started to dig rooms for my other workshops, running into a magma pipe that sits directly under my dining room, then i had to replan half my fortress layout because of that.
My current fort was similar, i had built around an open magma pipe and was doing great, placed the bedrooms in the lower left corner of the map, in the meantime i was looking for the blasted UG river all over the map, guess where i found it, while i was expandimg my friggin bedroom.
And it is quite peculiar, it runs from the edge to end immidetly in a waterfall that goes nowhere, i dig under it, nothing but damp stone, i dig above it, nothing but gold, quite strange
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tomas1297 on February 15, 2010, 05:39:37 am
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on February 15, 2010, 12:24:08 am
My first fort.  So I'm setting up my new dungeon master's pad.

I see a future legendary DF player.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on February 15, 2010, 08:01:20 am
Quote from: tomas1297 on February 15, 2010, 05:39:37 am
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on February 15, 2010, 12:24:08 am
My first fort.  So I'm setting up my new dungeon master's pad.

I see a future legendary DF player.
I did that too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tomas1297 on February 15, 2010, 08:35:14 am
Quote from: CobaltKobold on February 15, 2010, 08:01:20 am
Quote from: tomas1297 on February 15, 2010, 05:39:37 am
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on February 15, 2010, 12:24:08 am
My first fort.  So I'm setting up my new dungeon master's pad.

I see a future legendary DF player.
I did that too.
Yeah,but it's still a rare thing.And you already are a legendary DF player.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on February 15, 2010, 08:39:22 am
Quote from: tomas1297 on February 15, 2010, 08:35:14 am
Yeah,but it's still a rare thing.And you already are a legendary DF player.
I'm blushing!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Quantum Toast on February 15, 2010, 09:45:44 am
Quote from: tomas1297 on February 15, 2010, 05:39:37 am
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on February 15, 2010, 12:24:08 am
My first fort.  So I'm setting up my new dungeon master's pad.

I see a future legendary DF player.
Is that unusual, then?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tomas1297 on February 15, 2010, 09:50:15 am
Quote from: Quantum Toast on February 15, 2010, 09:45:44 am
Quote from: tomas1297 on February 15, 2010, 05:39:37 am
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on February 15, 2010, 12:24:08 am
My first fort.  So I'm setting up my new dungeon master's pad.

I see a future legendary DF player.
Is that unusual, then?
Most players mess up or give up on their first fort.DF takes a lot of time to learn.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Karnewarrior on February 15, 2010, 10:26:35 am
yeah. my first fort was quickly abandoned as I belived I started on top of a cliff. And I caught on quickly! (Within 3 months of playing I was ready to get a baron.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Moontayle on February 15, 2010, 12:02:23 pm
I've been toiling around for a few years without any significant action in terms of ambushes or sieges when I get the "Vile force of Darkness" message. Since I'm nowhere near set up to deal with even a starting siege, I order the dwarves inside and pull the bridge levers and decide to wait it out. I have very few operations going on outside besides the usual fishing and woodcutting so it wasn't going to interrupt things too much.  Except I had discovered a flaw in my magma pump system and needed to redo all the pumps to be magma-safe. Unfortunately, I had already walled off the pumps, including the one that had direct access to my gear and axle system. Without thinking, I unwalled the area and set the pump to be deconstructed. A few minutes later I'm sitting there watching the goblins come down the axle tunnel and literally facepalm as I realize what I've done. Luckily, goblins can be forced to run away and that's what happened as one of my Legendary Wrestlers/Master Macedwarf gets into the tunnel and starts whooping ass. He died from his injuries though but he turned back the tide of darkness so he got a nice tomb as a result.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on February 15, 2010, 12:05:33 pm
Well, I did spend like three days reading the wiki before I ever started making a fort, and I did multiple worldgens to find a perfect spot for my first fort (every feature), and I tried that Do-it-yourself no axe embark thing so I could get more metal ores, lumber, and food to start with, and I patterned out my living quarters and such before I really started working on the fort. 

Although in retrospect, I would have built my industrial areas more vertically if given another chance, so as to minimize hauling time, using B1 as a massive warehouse with down stairs leading to pods of workshops using similar resources (although I did wind up doing this more and more later).  Oh, and I definitely wouldn't wait for my Countess to have shown up before working on her rooms, and the spike chamber to cripple my hammerer.

I also would have just never tried making that massive waste-of-time greenhouse/underground park and wood farming site.  It's year five, and I've only JUST hit my magma pipe so I can get glass going.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dendou on February 15, 2010, 01:01:44 pm
playing on the dwarf heaven map I'm planning on filling the pit with magma and having a clear glass sphere resting inside.  I floor off the entirety of the bottom level and then wall off my construction tunnel.  I am well aware of the dwarven habit of building things from the wrong side so I oversee the construction of the last segment of wall.  sure enough, the dwarf walls himself in.  No problem, I'll just order it deconstructed, as I do so the nincompoop falls asleep and now I have to wait for him to wake up before finishing the wall, though I'm tempted not to...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on February 15, 2010, 01:43:36 pm
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on February 15, 2010, 12:05:33 pm
Well, I did spend like three days reading the wiki before I ever started making a fort, and I did multiple worldgens to find a perfect spot for my first fort (every feature), and I tried that Do-it-yourself no axe embark thing so I could get more metal ores, lumber, and food to start with, and I patterned out my living quarters and such before I really started working on the fort. 
Yeah, reading the tutorials, THEN embarking makes for most things good.

Though I don't tend to have good bedroom-access design still, and practically botched the defenses on my first fort, as well as making a significant number of nobletraps that didn't function because one stands on levers instead of next to. (being able to make that would make deathchambers much more easy, since you could actually guarantee the noble be on the bridge/grate/spike without tricks, and just set Pull-R and they'll impale themselves...though, being able to build other stuff with the lever would be a way, too- wall-mount lever?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chaoseed on February 15, 2010, 02:25:45 pm
In one fort there was a GCS running around that would kill off random dwarves.  I'd get a message saying "Urist McRedshirt has died" and I'd want to forbid all the dead dwarf's clothes to make sure the other dwarves didn't run into the spider trying to grab them.  (I did kill the GCS...eventually.)

The problem was that I had no idea where the dwarf's corpse was. I would have to hunt through 5 z-levels of a cliff forbidding stuff before I got the "Urist McHauler has canceled job" messages.  SO annoying.

...UNTIL I figured out a useful trick: z, Stocks screen, go down to "corpses" and press Tab to change the mode to display individual corpses.  Then find "Urist McRedshirt's corpse" and press the key to zoom in on it.  Presto, right to the corpse! :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Keldor on February 15, 2010, 02:42:28 pm
I was looking at some engravings in my current fortress, when I noticed that the symbol of my civilization was an elf... :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McOverlord on February 15, 2010, 02:55:11 pm
Engraving the duke's room to make the little bugger shut up. My engraver engraves about a dozen pictures of one of his former engravings...

Also, I threw a goblin local leader into magma, so no sieges for a while, unless I manage to piss off the elves enough... My long-term goal is to capture the kings of every non-dwarven civ and put them into a zoo in my king's bedroom. Muhuhuhahaha!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on February 15, 2010, 02:57:40 pm
I forgot to remove a few tags from my modded GCS before ADVENTURING!!!

[POPULATION_NUMBER:300:300]
[CLUSTER_NUMBER:100:100]
[BIOME:ANY_LAND]

Guess what tore out my throat? and eye... and other eye... and HEART (I made them embedded).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkflagrance on February 15, 2010, 03:42:59 pm
Quote from: Chaoseed on February 15, 2010, 02:25:45 pm
In one fort there was a GCS running around that would kill off random dwarves.  I'd get a message saying "Urist McRedshirt has died" and I'd want to forbid all the dead dwarf's clothes to make sure the other dwarves didn't run into the spider trying to grab them.  (I did kill the GCS...eventually.)

The problem was that I had no idea where the dwarf's corpse was. I would have to hunt through 5 z-levels of a cliff forbidding stuff before I got the "Urist McHauler has canceled job" messages.  SO annoying.

...UNTIL I figured out a useful trick: z, Stocks screen, go down to "corpses" and press Tab to change the mode to display individual corpses.  Then find "Urist McRedshirt's corpse" and press the key to zoom in on it.  Presto, right to the corpse! :o


Or you could just use the orders menu to forbid items dropped on death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chaoseed on February 15, 2010, 03:50:26 pm
Quote from: darkflagrance on February 15, 2010, 03:42:59 pm
Quote from: Chaoseed on February 15, 2010, 02:25:45 pm
In one fort there was a GCS running around that would kill off random dwarves.  I'd get a message saying "Urist McRedshirt has died" and I'd want to forbid all the dead dwarf's clothes to make sure the other dwarves didn't run into the spider trying to grab them.  (I did kill the GCS...eventually.)

The problem was that I had no idea where the dwarf's corpse was. I would have to hunt through 5 z-levels of a cliff forbidding stuff before I got the "Urist McHauler has canceled job" messages.  SO annoying.

...UNTIL I figured out a useful trick: z, Stocks screen, go down to "corpses" and press Tab to change the mode to display individual corpses.  Then find "Urist McRedshirt's corpse" and press the key to zoom in on it.  Presto, right to the corpse! :o


Or you could just use the orders menu to forbid items dropped on death.

Does that forbid corpses as well?

Either way, I think being able to zoom to a corpse is a useful trick to know.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spaghetti on February 16, 2010, 03:36:49 am
I embarked to an abandonded dark fortress tower made of bosidion.

It 4 towers and i took over the one right next to a hill i dug into for farming.

i pretty much didnt have to dig homes or places to store wood or minerals and shops

the only problem is that i dont have any flux :(

and i clearly notice the difference between steel armor and iron. dead recruits.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Psychoceramics on February 16, 2010, 03:52:36 am
Quote from: Chaoseed on February 15, 2010, 03:50:26 pm
Does that forbid corpses as well?

Either way, I think being able to zoom to a corpse is a useful trick to know.

it does.

And being able to zoom to a corpse is good for figuring out wtf killed him. Before the body gets moved anyway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: absynthe7 on February 16, 2010, 12:38:02 pm
I learned that a raised drawbridge will get deconstructed by magma if it's only fire-safe instead of magma-safe. Good times.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on February 16, 2010, 02:00:38 pm
Quote from: Psychoceramics on February 16, 2010, 03:52:36 am
Quote from: Chaoseed on February 15, 2010, 03:50:26 pm
Does that forbid corpses as well?

Either way, I think being able to zoom to a corpse is a useful trick to know.

it does.

And being able to zoom to a corpse is good for figuring out wtf killed him. Before the body gets moved anyway.
it (should) NOT; "forbid your dead" is a separate order from "forbid your death items"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on February 16, 2010, 02:46:56 pm
Quote from: CobaltKobold on February 16, 2010, 02:00:38 pm
it (should) NOT; "forbid your dead" is a separate order from "forbid your death items"

It can, but only if you select the proper settings.  You can also choose to not forbid your dead corpses.  Or to forbid your corpses but not the loot they drop.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on February 16, 2010, 02:52:39 pm
I am quite aware; so be of the original context enlightened:
>Or you could just use the orders menu to forbid items dropped on death.
>Does that forbid corpses as well?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tcei on February 16, 2010, 03:04:51 pm
Quote from: CobaltKobold on February 16, 2010, 02:52:39 pm
I am quite aware; so be of the original context enlightened:
>Or you could just use the orders menu to forbid items dropped on death.
>Does that forbid corpses as well?


Forbid death items only forbids things like their pigtail socks-armor-weapons
Ther is a seperate option (right above forbid death items) tol forbid their corpses.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on February 16, 2010, 07:17:04 pm
That's what I said. ._.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fullmoon on February 17, 2010, 01:20:30 am
Quote
The problem was that I had no idea where the dwarf's corpse was. I would have to hunt through 5 z-levels of a cliff forbidding stuff before I got the "Urist McHauler has canceled job" messages.  SO annoying.

...UNTIL I figured out a useful trick: z, Stocks screen, go down to "corpses" and press Tab to change the mode to display individual corpses.  Then find "Urist McRedshirt's corpse" and press the key to zoom in on it.  Presto, right to the corpse!

WHAT.

Quote
I was looking at some engravings in my current fortress, when I noticed that the symbol of my civilization was an elf...

Well, I'v got goblin liaison.Though, elf liaison would've been stranger. And meaner.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hachnslay on February 17, 2010, 01:00:48 pm
my first embark, since i refuse to call it my first fortress.
i thought: "hey, a terrifying ocean, cool!"
The zombie whales were of other opinion. they ate my 7 starting dwarves within 2 minutes, i was almost done smelting the tetrahedrite by then...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on February 17, 2010, 01:11:53 pm
Quote from: Urist McOverlord on February 15, 2010, 02:55:11 pm
Engraving the duke's room to make the little bugger shut up. My engraver engraves about a dozen pictures of one of his former engravings...

Also, I threw a goblin local leader into magma, so no sieges for a while, unless I manage to piss off the elves enough... My long-term goal is to capture the kings of every non-dwarven civ and put them into a zoo in my king's bedroom. Muhuhuhahaha!

How is that a facepalm?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on February 17, 2010, 01:41:10 pm
Quote from: smjjames on February 17, 2010, 01:11:53 pm
How is that a facepalm?

Just unsubscribe from this pointless and tedious thread, and be done with it. That's what I'm doing after this post.

EDIT: Joke's on me, as I can't figure out how to unsubscribe. Well, not reading it is still an option.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Richards on February 17, 2010, 03:08:15 pm
Quote from: Chaoseed on February 15, 2010, 02:25:45 pm
In one fort there was a GCS running around that would kill off random dwarves.  I'd get a message saying "Urist McRedshirt has died" and I'd want to forbid all the dead dwarf's clothes to make sure the other dwarves didn't run into the spider trying to grab them.  (I did kill the GCS...eventually.)

The problem was that I had no idea where the dwarf's corpse was. I would have to hunt through 5 z-levels of a cliff forbidding stuff before I got the "Urist McHauler has canceled job" messages.  SO annoying.

...UNTIL I figured out a useful trick: z, Stocks screen, go down to "corpses" and press Tab to change the mode to display individual corpses.  Then find "Urist McRedshirt's corpse" and press the key to zoom in on it.  Presto, right to the corpse! :o

Isn't there a hotkey to zoom to an announcement?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: happydog23 on February 17, 2010, 03:23:00 pm
Quote from: assimilateur on February 17, 2010, 01:41:10 pm
Quote from: smjjames on February 17, 2010, 01:11:53 pm
How is that a facepalm?

Just unsubscribe from this pointless and tedious thread, and be done with it. That's what I'm doing after this post.

EDIT: Joke's on me, as I can't figure out how to unsubscribe. Well, not reading it is still an option.

The facepalm (HAH see what I did there?) is on you... I believe there is no unsubscribe function in the forums at all :-)  You've got to really make sure you care about a thread before you subscribe..   It'll follow you around like zombie carp to the slaughter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Morgus on February 17, 2010, 03:24:30 pm
You click the Notify button again, and it unsubscribes you.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: assimilateur on February 17, 2010, 04:06:04 pm
Quote from: happydog23 on February 17, 2010, 03:23:00 pm

You don't explicitly subscribe, instead a subscription is implied when you reply (at least with my settings, perhaps that can be changed somewhere).

Quote from: Morgus on February 17, 2010, 03:24:30 pm
You click the Notify button again, and it unsubscribes you.

Thanks for the help. I was just gonna ignore it like I ignore another "subscribed" but terribly spammy thread, but this is even better.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on February 17, 2010, 07:38:31 pm
Quote from: assimilateur on February 17, 2010, 01:41:10 pm
Quote from: smjjames on February 17, 2010, 01:11:53 pm
How is that a facepalm?

Just unsubscribe from this pointless and tedious thread, and be done with it. That's what I'm doing after this post.

EDIT: Joke's on me, as I can't figure out how to unsubscribe. Well, not reading it is still an option.

I'm not even subscribed to this thread.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Euld on February 17, 2010, 10:01:19 pm
You can subscribe to threads?!

/facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chaoseed on February 18, 2010, 01:19:23 am
Quote from: Richards on February 17, 2010, 03:08:15 pm
Isn't there a hotkey to zoom to an announcement?
Is there? I glanced through the help and the wiki and I couldn't find one. If you know of one, please share!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ieb on February 18, 2010, 11:26:46 am
Just now, I lost 19 goblins to a now rather obvious, and stupid mistake. Playing with goblins, I decided to make a tower on my own, because hey, goblins LOVE their towers.

What's a tower without MAGMA pits? A bad one. So, I made one. 15 levels of magma goodness. However, during the construction, I discovered that the tunnels I intended to use to slowly fill up that bad boy with magma were hot while on the way to the pipe.

Turns out, there was a magma pool. Well, let's tap that and fill the pit partly, although it IS a big pool, maybe it'll do!

So a channel was made, and the magma began a slow drain.

A while later, I got an announcement of a peasant cancelling cleaning. Reason? Too injured.

Is the magma flowing? Yes it was. Did I forget to seal access to the stairs that led to the now-magma dripping area?

Yes I did.

The peasant was dead within seconds, and I quickly ordered the stairs to be replaced with ones leading up, so no one else would go down there.

Then I read about the clothier cancelling the same task, for the same reason. I zoom in, and by that point, he was already inside.

In my barracks.

That I still had set as a meeting zone.

Before I knew it, goblins were burning and running like burning and running goblins near dwarf fortresses.

The current fatality amount is, what, 11 to magma and fire, and the rest were all due to the tantrums. There's also a very miserable baby in the tower, I'm just waiting until it hurls itself down some pit or another.

At least my dining hall engravings got good.

"The goblin is burning."
"The goblin is making a plaintive gesture."
"The goblin is striking down the goblin. The goblin is laughing."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on February 18, 2010, 12:26:07 pm
So you now have a positively demonic set of engravings?  Awesome!  When does your civ leader arrive?  I'm sure he'll enjoy the decorations!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on February 18, 2010, 12:55:19 pm
Don't think you can zoom to announcements yet.  It's a next version thing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Calibur on February 18, 2010, 01:17:02 pm
Embarking twice.

Then realising I hadn't sorted out the items, ergo: no mining picks.

 :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sproingie on February 18, 2010, 05:45:33 pm
There's the "notify" kind of subscribe, and there's the "show new replies to your posts" kind.  The latter you're stuck with.  Forever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on February 18, 2010, 08:06:25 pm
Quote from: Chaoseed on February 18, 2010, 01:19:23 am
Quote from: Richards on February 17, 2010, 03:08:15 pm
Isn't there a hotkey to zoom to an announcement?
Is there? I glanced through the help and the wiki and I couldn't find one. If you know of one, please share!

No.

Next version, however, yes:
Quote from: Devlog 2-21-2009
Those that have associated locations are zoomable from the announcement/report screens.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on February 19, 2010, 09:00:40 am
Playing in a haunted area, I see that there is no living thing in my chasm. It's FULL of zombies, but no skreatures either. My Liason showed up on the far side of the chasm. I'll take a moment to explain what happened next:

[CREATURE:SPIDER_CAVE_GIANT]
...
[POPULATION_NUMBER:300:300]
[CLUSTER_NUMBER:100:100]
...


He revealed eight of them before dying. This is not the facepalm. The facepalm is when two seperate migrant waves showed up in the same spot. It turns out, there are TWO groups of ZGCS on the far side of the chasm. The first migrants (in autumn) died tragic, hilarious deaths. The second wave had two survivors, who were smart/fast enough to outrun the zombies.

Both were peasants.

On a side note, when 80 GCS form their "hunting webs" in the same place... (Spoilered for neatness)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

There was a peasant standing on the area when the uberweb was formed, so I got 80 cycles of "erith Ostarrigoth, Peasant has become entangled in a hidden web!" followed by "An ambush! Drive them out!"

EDIT: Also shown in the image is a zombie rhesus macaque (one of about 80) and a zombie batman (one of about 45).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: stormyseasons on February 19, 2010, 10:18:20 am
picked an embark site with a cave for the lulz, embarked as usual. checked unit list for any reason to dig in and never come out. cue face palm, seeing 5 giant cave spiders already revealed in said cave.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on February 19, 2010, 06:18:28 pm
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on February 19, 2010, 09:00:40 am
On a side note, when 80 GCS form their "hunting webs" in the same place... (Spoilered for neatness)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
My gods, it's full of stars!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mythos on February 19, 2010, 07:46:08 pm
My biggest was the death of my very first fortress, which I foolishly tried to do without looking at any sort of guide or anything. I dug into an underground river, expecting it to sit there and give my dwarves water. Uh, bad idea.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spaghetti on February 20, 2010, 03:30:39 am
i totally just forgot about the merchants that were in my depot.

they left when i realized it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Exiledhero99 on February 20, 2010, 07:45:08 am
Quote from: Spaghetti on February 20, 2010, 03:30:39 am
i totally just forgot about the merchants that were in my depot.

they left when i realized it.

yes this, I do this ALOT
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 20, 2010, 03:31:26 pm
I just realised that I gave my Warsmith (Proficient Weapon / Armoursmithing) armoursmithing and blacksmithing instead. On the considerable upside, I only realised this when his mood produced a steel coffin.

(By the way, I thought that in the event of a tie, whichever skill was first on the list got chosen for a mood?)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Quantum Toast on February 20, 2010, 03:57:42 pm
Quote from: Exiledhero99 on February 20, 2010, 07:45:08 am
Quote from: Spaghetti on February 20, 2010, 03:30:39 am
i totally just forgot about the merchants that were in my depot.

they left when i realized it.

yes this, I do this ALOT
Done that a few times myself, usually because I get bored waiting for them to unpack.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Innominate on February 20, 2010, 07:24:01 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on February 20, 2010, 03:31:26 pm
I just realised that I gave my Warsmith (Proficient Weapon / Armoursmithing) armoursmithing and blacksmithing instead. On the considerable upside, I only realised this when his mood produced a steel coffin.

(By the way, I thought that in the event of a tie, whichever skill was first on the list got chosen for a mood?)
In a tie I'm not exactly sure (it would take ages to find out), but ties are quite rare: if you have even 1 xp more in blacksmithing it will choose that one every time [citation needed].
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naes Draw on February 20, 2010, 07:31:29 pm
Went to make a well stream, and forgot that water pressure applied to the channel next to my stairway. One honorable sacrifice later, problem solved.... (I hope it stays that way....)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: teloft on February 20, 2010, 07:44:41 pm
Quote from: Michaelsoftman on April 20, 2009, 09:42:01 pm
Quote from: AncientEnemy on April 20, 2009, 09:18:57 pm
discovering the d->b menu.

oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones

Oh man same here for me.

I remember digging out a large room, and then sighing as I would press 'k' then I'd press right, D, right, D, right, D etc etc until i marked like 200 stones for dumping.

Then someone showed me mass dumping...  I love that man.

I totaly missed the howl "k" thing until just a few weeks ago. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 20, 2010, 08:54:16 pm
Quote from: Innominate on February 20, 2010, 07:24:01 pm
In a tie I'm not exactly sure (it would take ages to find out), but ties are quite rare: if you have even 1 xp more in blacksmithing it will choose that one every time [citation needed].
Quite rare in an established fortress, but I hadn't set up any metalworking at that point and it was one of the founders who got the mood.

DT is currently reporting 3,500XP for Armoursmithing and 13,501XP for Blacksmithing (I have the dwarves as slow learners to cut down on easy Legendaries. It affects everything XP-related, apparently). I don't know where the heck that single solitary XP came from, but that seems to be the trouble. The only thing I can think of is the time I built a forge solely to stop thieves from strolling off with my anvil, but I don't know. Currently I'm trying to stop the fort from starving, so testing is out for the moment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hungry on February 21, 2010, 07:57:06 am
Tryied to block a dead of winter freezing brook, lost three miners because the work window only lasts for about 100turns...and now I am highly confused because my floodgates I build on the brook floor dont seem to do anything...they might start open...so now I have mechanics that have to brave the winter work...

/facepalm now, /facepalm later.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on February 21, 2010, 01:18:28 pm
I just did this one late last night...

I'm preparing to tap the underground river I have... it's actually located 8 floors up above "ground" level compared to the rest of the fort, and I have a bottomless pit, so my first order of business was to make a giant "water tower", a 6x6 vertical tube 23 z tiles tall to store (and pressurize, it's halfway across the map from everything I want to connect water to) the water, and a channel along the lowest floor leading to the bottomless chasm as a "drain" I can link to in case of emergencies.  Except, instead of just being 6x6, I took off the corner tiles, so that it looks somewhat "rounded".  So, I dig out three of the "walls" off the start, digging channels back towards the staircase, where I will wall the place off.

I start digging, but then forget that support/cave-ins don't include diagonal support while designating channeling. 

CAVE IN!  It flings my worker backward, and she's dazed because she was standing near the cave in, but she isn't crushed... except it flings her into the channel I already dug... about 19 z levels straight down to the bottom, where only 23 stones are there to break her fall.

Incidentally, her head actually bounced an entire floor up, while her arms and legs stayed in the same tile.

You'd think I would have figured out how not to cause cave-ins by now...  and she was really close to hitting legendary, too, so it's going to be a pain to train replacements, especially since I've been uncovering all these ore veins, but holding off on digging them out until more of my workers were at "master" level or higher.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 21, 2010, 01:40:37 pm
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on February 21, 2010, 01:18:28 pm
I start digging, but then forget that support/cave-ins don't include diagonal support while designating channeling. 

CAVE IN!  It flings my worker backward, and she's dazed because she was standing near the cave in, but she isn't crushed... except it flings her into the channel I already dug... about 19 z levels straight down to the bottom, where only 23 stones are there to break her fall.

Incidentally, her head actually bounced an entire floor up, while her arms and legs stayed in the same tile.
I think I'm going to take this and sig it on another forum I hang out at.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on February 21, 2010, 02:05:18 pm
Hmm... if you quote that, you might want to modify it a little [with brackets] to make sure that the idea that the arms were still detached from the body got through.

Also, fun note: She actually fell faster than many of the stones that were also knocked around by the cave-in (possibly because the cave-in cascaded down several floors?).  Her remaining body parts were then smashed into an even finer red mist by the 3 or 4 more stones that fell on top of her corpse afterward. 

I always like how, whenever someone dies, they are immediately stripped naked.  Insert "knocked her socks off" joke here.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rat Of Wisdom on February 21, 2010, 03:14:55 pm
God DAMN it.

Didn't realize my dwarves were such proficient cooks.

There are consistently less than 200 meat/fish/plant stocks listed. (They're listed right under the 14000 prepared meals.) So when I bought a truly massive quantity of food from the latest caravan, the food stockpile (which is ruddy massive in its own right) was full, and it all rotted in the depot.

Did you know rotted food is auto-dumped? Neither did I until I happened to glance at my old masons' complex and see it stinking up the joint, as my stone dump zone was the nearest active one. And not only did the imported food rot, but a whole season's worth of above-ground crops too it looks like.

Of course, now that I think of it, all the "Urist McCook has created a masterpiece" spam should have clued me in. Fucking facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on February 21, 2010, 04:46:27 pm
Quote from: Rat Of Wisdom on February 21, 2010, 03:14:55 pm
God DAMN it.

Didn't realize my dwarves were such proficient cooks.

There are consistently less than 200 meat/fish/plant stocks listed. (They're listed right under the 14000 prepared meals.) So when I bought a truly massive quantity of food from the latest caravan, the food stockpile (which is ruddy massive in its own right) was full, and it all rotted in the depot.

Did you know rotted food is auto-dumped? Neither did I until I happened to glance at my old masons' complex and see it stinking up the joint, as my stone dump zone was the nearest active one. And not only did the imported food rot, but a whole season's worth of above-ground crops too it looks like.

Of course, now that I think of it, all the "Urist McCook has created a masterpiece" spam should have clued me in. Fucking facepalm.

Oh yeah, I have an oversized farm for the purposes of exporting prepared meals and clothing.  Every time I drag away workers to do construction work, I wind up with plants "rotting on the vine" all over the place.

Still, if you set up stockpiles for only prepared food, and prevent any barrels from being added, and set your cooks to "lavish meals" only, you can store much more food, since you can have stacks of something like 90-some-odd food, as opposed to having a seperate barrel for each 10 or so.  As long as they are on a stockpile, they don't rot, unless rats get to them.

As for crops rotting... well, you don't really lose that much if you produce more crops than you can process.  You use up a single travelling from the warehouse to the field by your farmer, plus the trip to the dump.  When they completely rot away, you even get the seeds back.

Farming is a something-for-nothing proposition right now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hobbie on February 21, 2010, 09:47:12 pm
So I'm playing with Dig Deeper for the first time... I'm gearing up, preparing for an Orc attack... I scroll away to work on something in my fortress and I see this:

Minkot Muthiriden, Champion cancels Sparring in Barracks: Interrupted by Dark Elf Wrestler.
The Stray Puppy (Tame) has suffocated.

...Dark Elves are breaking into my fortress and strangling my puppies. D:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spaghetti on February 21, 2010, 09:57:54 pm
my first time with dig deeper i did not expect the orcs to seige so damm quickly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Dakoth on February 21, 2010, 10:08:51 pm
I set off my mega death-trap, expecting to see torrents of magma rushing down the hallway.

I got a slow trickle. I'm using more than one pump next time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Moontayle on February 21, 2010, 11:21:12 pm
I'm trying a new map, going for a low threat except for goblins (vanilla DF) experience with a serene setting in a swampland. No magma but more wood than I've ever seen so all good. I dig out my workshop area and start dumping all the stones next to where my mason/crafting shop is going to be. Decide it's taking too long, exit game, Speed:0 mod, enter game, get everything dumped... as I'm about to exit back out my kid tells me he wants a snack (he's 4) so instead of saving to exit I simply pause. While I'm in the kitchen, my daughter sneaks onto the computer (she's 2) and unpauses the game. She then goes to the kitchen and wants a snack as well (parents with >1 kid will tell you this is not unusual). Ten minutes later I'm back at my computer getting spammed by "x swamp has no more fish" messages. In that short of timespan, with speed:0, my fisherdwarf had fished out the entire 6x6 map... and was Legendary to boot.

Lesson learned: Minimize or make the save.

On the plus side, I don't think I'm going to run out of shells... ever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hungry on February 22, 2010, 02:16:14 am
Learning how to properly use the mouse in DF, /facepalm that it took so damn long, Rclick, Return, Rclick, Return...that and getting a seige while trying to sculpt aboveground features.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on February 22, 2010, 03:31:29 am
Quote from: Hungry on February 21, 2010, 07:57:06 am
Tryied to block a dead of winter freezing brook, lost three miners because the work window only lasts for about 100turns...and now I am highly confused because my floodgates I build on the brook floor dont seem to do anything...they might start open...so now I have mechanics that have to brave the winter work...

/facepalm now, /facepalm later.

Floodgates start closed.

Are you sure they were constructed fully? if not they'll just be laying on the brook floor, looking like constructed floodgates, but there will be water on them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hungry on February 22, 2010, 03:55:35 am
I learned that A:brooks flow slowly, drains very slowly and 'unfed' drys up in about a season per 20x2/7 B: Also apearently water doesnt have the pileup effect I thaught it would have...damn my flood the area project failed.
/facepalm
Oh and I had 12 ambushs in a row while trying to rebuild my floodwalls, that I only deconstructed to find out if my floodgates were indeed broken.
/double facepalm!
Finally I figured out why all my dwarves were ecstatic all the time...Average Dwarf in my fortress has made friends with every other dwarf and his/her profile event list is packed up with loads of "Has talked with a friend recently." and with the death of ANY dwarf the collective becomes collectively depressed, and or sparks off a tantrum spiral on the spot...I probably should have caught on when I had 23 weddings in one season, with only 85 dwarves.
/triple facepalm!
I got fed up so I pulled the lever of doom...only to find out the doom was broken.
/facepalming spree!

Hungry has been struck down, by facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Arathel on February 22, 2010, 05:42:10 am
I've spent the 4 Dwarven years trying to figure out why my depot was not getting access. I paved a road, clear cut trees, smoothed boulders, carved ramps, did everything I could think of. Then I read on the forums that the depot access map starts at the actual building. Checking this revealed that wagons can't go over stairs, not even horizontally. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 22, 2010, 06:16:54 am
Quote from: Arathel on February 22, 2010, 05:42:10 am
I've spent the 4 Dwarven years trying to figure out why my depot was not getting access. I paved a road, clear cut trees, smoothed boulders, carved ramps, did everything I could think of. Then I read on the forums that the depot access map starts at the actual building. Checking this revealed that wagons can't go over stairs, not even horizontally. *facepalm*
Although, oddly enough, they can pass over ramps even if the lower part of the ramp isn't next to a wall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: happydog23 on February 22, 2010, 01:39:18 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on February 22, 2010, 06:16:54 am
Quote from: Arathel on February 22, 2010, 05:42:10 am
I've spent the 4 Dwarven years trying to figure out why my depot was not getting access. I paved a road, clear cut trees, smoothed boulders, carved ramps, did everything I could think of. Then I read on the forums that the depot access map starts at the actual building. Checking this revealed that wagons can't go over stairs, not even horizontally. *facepalm*
Although, oddly enough, they can pass over ramps even if the lower part of the ramp isn't next to a wall.

From what I understand this can also result in wagons lighting on fire if there is magma behind a wall that they go down via ramp.   Generally this goes unnoticed until dwarves finish bringing stuff to the depot which lights them on fire and they decide they need a drink.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Loyal on February 22, 2010, 04:58:01 pm
I dug a ramp in the underground river, as there was a bit of an infestation to deal with and I didn't want to lose my elites because one slipped and fell in.

The ramp was dug, and battle was eagerly joined, with four snakemen and two lizardmen versus a champion and three elites.

Didn't take long to disperse, but one wounded snakeman fled into the water. An elite leaped in through the same ramp, chased it downriver, and drowned.

*insert FFFFUUUU- image here*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 22, 2010, 07:27:42 pm
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on February 21, 2010, 02:05:18 pm
Hmm... if you quote that, you might want to modify it a little [with brackets] to make sure that the idea that the arms were still detached from the body got through.
We-ell, I do think it's pretty clear from the original text, as the head has already been mentioned as separated and the only reason to mention specific body parts is if they're separated too [/excessive analysis]. If anyone gets curious about it, I can always explain.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on February 22, 2010, 09:07:52 pm
I thought I could charge 3 goblin crossbowmen with an army of champions.
Damn was I wrong.


I also thought I could have a giant hall of traps would stop DD orcs and that a real military was useless.
Damn was I wrong again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on February 23, 2010, 05:11:25 am
Quote from: happydog23 on February 22, 2010, 01:39:18 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on February 22, 2010, 06:16:54 am
Quote from: Arathel on February 22, 2010, 05:42:10 am
I've spent the 4 Dwarven years trying to figure out why my depot was not getting access. I paved a road, clear cut trees, smoothed boulders, carved ramps, did everything I could think of. Then I read on the forums that the depot access map starts at the actual building. Checking this revealed that wagons can't go over stairs, not even horizontally. *facepalm*
Although, oddly enough, they can pass over ramps even if the lower part of the ramp isn't next to a wall.

From what I understand this can also result in wagons lighting on fire if there is magma behind a wall that they go down via ramp.   Generally this goes unnoticed until dwarves finish bringing stuff to the depot which lights them on fire and they decide they need a drink.

So that's why the wagons kept leaving on fire but the dwarves didn't catch. I didn't worry about it too much becuse they only ignited on the way out and left the map before dyiong.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dendou on February 24, 2010, 12:35:32 pm
I was gettin' pretty board with how easy vanilla DF (all my forts die to boredom :P) was so I decided to upgrade to Dig deeper.  I had heard of how tough orcs were and wanted to try my luck against them.  But I wanted to maximize the Fun potential and make sure it would be tough so I modded orcs to come in with full adamantine gear.  I embark on a great site and spring goes by everything's going great, magma forge is filling, farm is up, trade depot is built and goods are mostly ready, butchery is up, prison is under construction, rooms are finished, dorfs are ecstatic.  Then comes summer.  I figure I'll start working on making some armour for my troops so that once I have a high enough popolation I can defend myself from these adamantine orcs, "A vile force of darkness has arrived!"  Orcs come now, I haven't even had my first caravan yet.  I scramble my defenses, get a makeshift ballistae battery at the end of my entry hall, pull in my anti-theft dogs, station 2 lightly armoured wrestlers (I refuse to use marksdorfs, standard traps, and atom smashers).  My ballistae take out most of them and my wrestlers/dogs manage to flatten the last one (thoroughly impressing me).  I have one injured dorf and thast's it, halelujah!.  Then autum, waiting for my caravan so I can get an anvil and, "a vile force of darkness has arrived", now two squads.  I use crazy tactics involving mining behind enemy lines and rapid channel digging and manage to avert disaster.  2 dorfs dead. 2 injured, 1 champion.  2 dorfs left to hold the fort.  I decide I need some balance to this facepalm so I save that fort and create another ine.  But this time I make my suedo adamantine cheap and embark with one full set.    Summer comes same as last, one squad siege and I survive unscathed.  I remember that I have an HFS on this map and, having never hit one before, decide that breaking it could be Fun. 
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
  Tantrum spiral ensues.  I tryto build a legendary dining hall as fast as I can to avert disaster but it is autumn now and with autumn comes, :a vile force of darkness has arrived".  Armok damn it!  I don't know what was killing my fort faster, my dorfs or the orcs.  ANywho, in comes the reclamation force of 14 dorfs.  I come to kill off the orc infestation and suffer just one death.  And all is well, fort is saved, I still have my suedo adamantine armour so I should be fine.  Odd thing is, since I broke the HFS
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
  So, with friendly orcs in my fort Autumn comes and with it "a vile force of blah blah blah".  Only not blah blah blah because within seconds I have dozens of war dog died and urist mcsuprise died.  My "friendly orcs decided to join their bretherin and kill me from within, only , for some reason, I can't kill them.  Maybe vanilla DF wasn't so bad...Nah
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on February 24, 2010, 09:55:59 pm
That's a known bug. Invaders left on your map onreclaim will be friendly until their civ sieges again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rat Of Wisdom on February 25, 2010, 10:35:51 am
Fuck, I hate these stupid little bastards so much right now.

"Orders from above, Urist. We gotta stack all the specially-constructed magnetite mechanisms near the generator site so the mechanics won't have to walk so far. Just stick the ones with a purple smear on them in the dump zone up there."

"ROGER WILCO MOTHER FUCKER"

*Urist McFuckingRetard fetches a mechanism from the legendary dwarves' complex below and brings it to the top of the fort*

"DURR HURR HAY GUISE THAR APPEARZ TO BE EMPTY SPACE NEXT TO THIS HERE DUMP ZONE"

*Urist McFuckingRetard proceeds to dump every goddamn mechanism (four hundred of them) into my perpetual motion machine*

"HURR DURR WORK'S DONE BOSS CAN I HAS ☼DWARVEN CHEEZ ROAST☼ NAO"

I can't type anymore. I can't see my keyboard because the facepalm knocked out my goddamn eyes. Especially because I've fucking had this problem before.

Toady:

For Armok's sake, add an option to dump zones to ignore adjacent pits.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SpiredWarrior on February 25, 2010, 11:24:36 am
I had one when I learned that I was on the wrong rock layer to actually get stone. I was at ground level in a cliff I didn't know was a cliff, and thought I was underground. ._.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Asatruer on February 25, 2010, 11:46:47 am
After playing for close to two years off and on I just found out about when placing furniture (and such) you can hit x to see the individual items...  I have wasted so much energy building special stockpiles limited to certain qualities just to make sure my more worthy (and Noble) dwarfs got the high class things they deserve... oh the embarrassment...  At least I knew about mass designation for dumping and such.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on February 25, 2010, 11:51:55 am
Much like Rat's problem three posts up. I'd made a dump zone in my magma-working room, so I could clear all the rock out of what would become a magma reservoir under the forges, smelters, and furnaces. I left the zone in place after I sent the magma down the sluices, and channeled a hole where I'd put a smelter/furnace some time later. Between channeling the hole and building the smelter over it, I ordered some iron armor "seized" and dumped from the human caravan, so I could melt it. Apparently the dwarfs decided to take it down to the nearest dump zone, in the magma room, and then noticed the pit nearby. "By Armok!" they said in their peculiarly dwarven fashion, "here is a pit, over magma no less, and I have items for dumping. I should dump these items in the pit!" Thus did I lose three or four bars of iron and steel.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Psychoceramics on February 25, 2010, 04:44:57 pm
orcs came in winter of first year. My defenses were not ready. Luckily, most of them hit the bridge trap and are now waiting patiently for the inevitable drowning. I just need to get the pump stack working.

I lost everyone but 3 dwarves. A child, a bedridden miner, and a carpenter, who now has every labor assigned.

And then the miner went insane. And not melancholy or just speaking gibberish. He's gone into a berzerker rage. So now he's chasing the carpenter, the kid, and my two animals, hobbling around on his one good leg. Luckily the fort is mostly circular, so they can get away forever.

Oh wait, he cornered the donkey. And got his face kicked in by said donkey.

two dwarves, one of which is a child. And that child is still fan-freaking-tastic.

edit: the carpenter just went insane. Just gone mad though, so I'll just need to wait for a) the kid to grow up, or b) migrants!

edit: and now a snatcher just made off the with kid! jebus!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hazelnut on February 26, 2010, 06:47:38 am
I'm having an awful time with the same problem as in this thread: http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=50098.0

I have a magma pipe that is 5 embark tiles east and one south from my fort. Long way away. And I can only move it deep down below the valley with a brook running inbetween. At first I though this wouldn't be a problem - I'll just cut a 3 wide pipe with smoothed corners for ease of flow (makes it wider, d'oh) and be patient waiting for it to fill a 10x15x1 cistern near my fort that I could then tap into whenever I needed magma. After reading that thread (and testing it) I realised it wouldn't work, so I built a wall right down the middle of the pipe so I have both a 1 wide magma pipe and an access tunnel. Then I put a pump in to manually pump the magma into my cistern. Creating the pump took ages to build because I was being sieged by humans, as their caravan had a disagreement with the local CGS, and have no military yet - so just had the drawbridge up. Meant I was short on wood, so I only wanted to use minimum charcoal and the smith kept cancelling the pipe section. Made it out of glass in the end after months of faffing. Still no idea why with 3 bars and 4 charcoal it couldn't be made.

So channelled the source hole and installed the pump. Got it wrong because I channelled out the wall of the magma pipe behind the fortification I'd originally cut for the 3 wide pipe. So magma starts crawling down the channel. (at least I'd walled off the access tunnel correctly) Fine I thought - just a head start. So I build the pump and start pumping, hardly anything happens. I'm assuming that it simply goes back into the magma pipe though the fortification... facepalm. Unless it's just impossible to fill a distant magma chamber with a single manual source pump?

While doing this I take my eye off my other pump that's filling an irrigation chamber the other side of the map at the underground river - my only glassmaker drowns though blowback I guess. Arrggh.

Not sure how I'm going to proceed yet...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 26, 2010, 08:08:39 am
Quote from: Hazelnut on February 26, 2010, 06:47:38 am
Unless it's just impossible to fill a distant magma chamber with a single manual source pump?
It's not impossible. Pumped magma acts like water in that anything added to the output tile of the pump will teleport where it can if the output tile is at 7/7, which results in an even flow of magma as long as the pump is in operation.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hazelnut on February 26, 2010, 09:15:50 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on February 26, 2010, 08:08:39 am
Quote from: Hazelnut on February 26, 2010, 06:47:38 am
Unless it's just impossible to fill a distant magma chamber with a single manual source pump?
It's not impossible. Pumped magma acts like water in that anything added to the output tile of the pump will teleport where it can if the output tile is at 7/7, which results in an even flow of magma as long as the pump is in operation.

So it's just the path back into the magma pipe then? Crap - it would have been so easy to remove the fortification and build a wall.  ::)  Does the # of z levels of magma below the pump intake make any difference?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Morgus on February 26, 2010, 11:03:06 am
Quote from: Hazelnut on February 26, 2010, 09:15:50 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on February 26, 2010, 08:08:39 am
Quote from: Hazelnut on February 26, 2010, 06:47:38 am
Unless it's just impossible to fill a distant magma chamber with a single manual source pump?
It's not impossible. Pumped magma acts like water in that anything added to the output tile of the pump will teleport where it can if the output tile is at 7/7, which results in an even flow of magma as long as the pump is in operation.
So it's just the path back into the magma pipe then? Crap - it would have been so easy to remove the fortification and build a wall.  ::)  Does the # of z levels of magma below the pump intake make any difference?
Nope
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on February 26, 2010, 04:28:17 pm
Quote from: Psychoceramics on February 25, 2010, 04:44:57 pm
edit: and now a snatcher just made off the with kid! jebus!

Now I'm curious, at what point did your fort crumble to its end? when the snatcher grabbed the kid, or did he have to make it off the map as you watched helplessly?

Or did the game somehow fail to crumble because your last dorf was merely abducted?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Psychoceramics on February 26, 2010, 04:33:38 pm
Quote from: Reese on February 26, 2010, 04:28:17 pm
Quote from: Psychoceramics on February 25, 2010, 04:44:57 pm
edit: and now a snatcher just made off the with kid! jebus!

Now I'm curious, at what point did your fort crumble to its end? when the snatcher grabbed the kid, or did he have to make it off the map as you watched helplessly?

Or did the game somehow fail to crumble because your last dorf was merely abducted?

the carpenter hadn't died of hunger/thirst yet when the goblin made off with the kid. As soon as he bit the bucket, the fortress crumbled.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Euld on February 26, 2010, 10:32:38 pm
'A kidnapper has made off with Baby "Possibly Doomed" Cattenbecor!'

Not a very hard facepalm, but I could have put more effort into ensuring the survival of that baby.  Figures the mechanic with a million children would get injured in the last ambush.  On the other hand, my multi legendary macedwarf wielding an artifact mace (she likes maces, that's why she got it) discovered a goblin ambush while they were out searching for the invisible goblin.  I made sure to pause the game and put on the Gerudo Valley theme from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.  I took joy in the ensuing slaughter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DarkDragon on February 26, 2010, 11:30:39 pm
I think this goes here:

Building a "flood the nobles rooms with magma" device right?

So I get the pumps set up above their rooms with a large cistern dug out. Planning to add walls to create channels going to each individual room, then levers attached to bridges that will drop the magma into their rooms.

First try: I turn on the pumps.. realize as the channels are filling that I forgot to build the bridges. Quickly abort and let the area "dry" out and then finish building the damn traps before trying again.

Second try: Ok, bridges built, rigged to levers, all's well. Even made sure I had bauxite mechanisms and the bridges are Iron.

Wait... why are my bridges deconstructing and my rooms flooding prematurely?

Seems I got the mechanisms that go to the lever and the mechanisms that go to the bridges backwards. So I put my bauxite mechanisms on my nice safe levers and my normal ones on the bridges...

*facepalm*

Abort... retry... fail.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: purplearcanist on February 27, 2010, 01:53:22 am
Digging up/down starcases too close to the magma pipe.  Lost my best miner, who also happened to be the leader.

Hunting with a champion.  High agility meant this guy could bag kills quickly, until it fought an alligator, and got wounded.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Dakoth on February 27, 2010, 02:32:35 pm
In one of my (failed) forts, I had the main entrance run through the barracks. The reasoning behind this was that kobolds and snatchers that ran in would interrupt my sparring champions and end up as wall decor.

I only had four champions, and most of them were usually in transit between the barracks and the meeting hall, so I missed a few snatchers. So, I put in a few weapon traps in.

Five minutes later, I trace the deaths of six or so peons to my barracks. The homeless morons were going to sleep on the floor, RIGHT BELOW THE WEAPON TRAPS.

</headdesk>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on February 27, 2010, 10:27:36 pm
My dwarves have all been trying to clean up the tradesplosion mess I created (see this thread (http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=50073.0)), which is something of a facepalm all by itself, but since I've decided that I'm just going to live with the results without cheating (any more than I was to create the mess in the first place... provided you don't consider atom smashing your garbage cheating) to clean it up, that it pretty much all balances out. 

Except it turns out that dumping refuse takes priority over ALL other hauling jobs, and a fair deal of other jobs*.  One of my problems?  Wait, is that miasma coming out of my kitchen?  My kitchen reserved solely for the use of my founder legendary cook and trader?  What's rotting?  Why, it's a dwarven syrup roast.  Basic value?  27,000 dwarfbucks. 

I mean, yeah, that stuff exists to be eaten, but watching something worth more than most artifacts rot away just STINGS, what with my generally going for economic activity over military or megaprojects.

* Such as mining, so I have to take refuse hauling off my legendary haulers, which isn't so bad, because I'm just going to take this opportunity to hit all those little platinum, aluminum, silver, hemitite, magnetite, cassiterite, horn silver, copper, and a couple of assorted gem veins that I struck while doing my major construction projects while my lower-ranking miners are stuck hauling wooden helmets to the smasher.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: druid91 on February 27, 2010, 11:22:55 pm
I recently started playing relentless assault, started out in the desert over a magma pipe. No water, Not one drop that I could find. I figure eh not much of a problem Ill just make sure to heavily armor the melee fighters once the military gets started. so Everything is running smoothly , moat dug, massive pit with retracting drawbridges linked to a lever. So when a lizard men siege shows up I thought hey no big deal Ill just drop the bridge and wait them out. one of my farmers ran out to pull the lever and gets terrified by the approaching lizard men and runs back into the fort that I have yet to install proper doors on. This has got to be the worst of it right? No no no their just getting started bewildering me with their genius, So I recruit the legendary record keeper as an axe-dwarf and sent him against the siege recruiting the peasants to delay the siege long enough for him to get the gear. I lost three of them causing rampant unhappiness as they apparently had many friends. but the record keeper finally gets out there and pretty much single handedly saves the entire fort battling the lizard men back to the bridge where th decide to cut there losses and run for it and the record keeper is standing there on the bridge, In my head I'm imagining him at this point raising his axe in the air and yelling "And don't come back!" to the retreating lizard men. Sounds good right no it is not, now that he realizes that there are no enemies outside one of the farmers rushes out to pull the lever dropping the hero of the fort into the huge pit effectively killing him as both of his arms and one of his legs are broken and we have no water. And now I get cancel spam as the entire fort tries to get him water.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Euld on February 28, 2010, 12:47:50 am
Deconstruct all the beds when he gets thirsty, he might just get alcohol himself instead if he can still walk.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: druid91 on February 28, 2010, 12:54:26 am
thanks I will try that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fullmoon on March 03, 2010, 03:48:52 am
Modded dwarfs so they don't eat, only drink (well, I actually thought it would be too cruel to add [NO_DRINK]). You know, for megaproject experiments. Embarked on nice 2X5 map with ocean below cliff in west and magma pipe in east. And lots of soil layers, so my living quarters were in sand, so no legendary dining room. Turned out to be my severe mistake.

Well, the problem was that one mason catched fey mood, claimed workshop and started demanding something I didn't have. And of course I hadn't looked up if he demanded something unusual, because, hey, he wasn't some picky crafter or clothier. Then I left fortress running in background, because my obsidian casting workshop required massive masonry...

After 15 minutes and few unpausings (you know, all these You struck Talc! x5) I noticed that one of dwarfs is extremelly unhappy. Thoughts - oh poor dorfie, he lost two friends! Hmm, how this happened? Oh, that mason berserked and killed female craftsdwarf and her baby. Oh, no problems, my mayor will help him, right? Opps, so that craftsdwarf was mayor's wife? Damn. Five sec later mayor tantrumed, and kicked another dorf down main stairwell. Tantrum spiral ensues. Wow. Facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mal7690 on March 03, 2010, 08:43:47 am
My current fortress has a large cistern hooked up to the river as a pressurized water source for traps/forced washing/etc.

So I have a pipe going from 3 z-levels below that cistern to drowning trap at my entrance.  I finish all the linking just in time for a siege, the first stage of the trap works perfectly, pull the lever to drown the gobbys and the next thing I know my entire front lawn was flooded with water.  I go and troubleshoot the problem and find that I didn't put a room on the chamber.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Set_Beadra on March 03, 2010, 11:17:25 am
Building a statue garden outside to keep my dwarves from becoming cave adapt.... Long after they had already become cave adapt... So much vomit.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kipi on March 03, 2010, 04:13:54 pm
First post, though have been lurking around about month or so...

I had my latest facepalm just moments ago with my latest fortress. Plain 6*6 area with magma and lots of woods. I had spent several hours to create first wall around my embarking point (planning on building aboveground except farms, housing, studies and dining hall) and was creating water reservoir system to supply my the inner moat and well (outer moat was supposed to have magma). I had just finished my 10*10*4 reservoir (aboveground, like in Rome), which included clearing the area and making the blocks.

Now, when I begun to look for the closest point of brook, I noticed that my embark site doesn't actually contain any brook or river.
*facepalm*

What made the matter worse, I really spent a lot of effort to drain all the lakes inside the first moat dry for connecting those to the water system safely...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Psychoceramics on March 03, 2010, 05:23:47 pm
Quote from: Set_Beadra on March 03, 2010, 11:17:25 am
Building a statue garden outside to keep my dwarves from becoming cave adapt.... Long after they had already become cave adapt... So much vomit.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

why, he's more vomit than child!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on March 03, 2010, 05:48:45 pm
I was in the middle of a siege, and the attackers had managed to wade through the field of cage traps at my entrance, allowing them to finally come to blows with my champion hammerdwarfs. One champion, having interpreted the order to "stay on station here-ish" determined that here-ish included the area outside the curtain wall, and was promptly shot, leaving his corpse and all his armour outside with the orcs, which I would deal with momentarily. In the meantime, some lesser champions were training up their unarmored wrestling, and I decided to send them in soon, after they'd gotten armoured up, so I ordered some armor forged and the troopers armoured up. Since I'd ordered reclaim death items on, those junior champions decided that the best place to get armor was off the corpse of the dude outside. So, multiple unarmoured champions decided to charge out, through a bloody horde of orcs, to get a dead dwarf's armour. Face, meet palm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sproingie on March 03, 2010, 07:59:49 pm
Quote from: Set_Beadra on March 03, 2010, 11:17:25 am
Building a statue garden outside to keep my dwarves from becoming cave adapt.... Long after they had already become cave adapt... So much vomit.

At least you had the good sense to make the walls and statues out of olivine.

Er, they are olivine, right?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SquirrelWizard on March 03, 2010, 10:08:04 pm
Stationing a military dwarf next to the edge of a underground river, he got dragged in.

Also, I breached by accident while making my tower cap farm. Luckily it was a corner breach so I was able to quickly remedy the problem, but things could have gone really wrong.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Set_Beadra on March 04, 2010, 01:59:03 pm
Quote from: sproingie on March 03, 2010, 07:59:49 pm
Quote from: Set_Beadra on March 03, 2010, 11:17:25 am
Building a statue garden outside to keep my dwarves from becoming cave adapt.... Long after they had already become cave adapt... So much vomit.

At least you had the good sense to make the walls and statues out of olivine.

Er, they are olivine, right?


No, thats all green glass. I had magma and sand so everything is glass, mostly everything atleast. Lack of flux stone made getting metal difficult untill goblins started raiding which I didn't get the first goblin raid for over 5 years.
http://mkv25.net/dfma/map-8178-roadmagics this is the terrible fortress I made three floors of it atleast.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Randomone on March 04, 2010, 07:34:54 pm
I have a classic facepalm. I had a 2 year old fortress next to a volcano. I had a moat dug and channeled 2 tiles for a pump to fill said moat with magma.

Those 2 tiles happened to be over my magma forges. Which are next to my dining hall. And bedrooms. And meeting area. I had a lot of Fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BigD145 on March 04, 2010, 07:53:23 pm
Okay then. Next time, do not make a drawbridge trap and leave 5 legendary wrestlers anywhere near it. It went up, flung siege enemies, some stayed put and got owned by wrestlers, then everyone got smashed as the bridge came back down.

Lesson learned: do not feed the carp from a bridge
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Set_Beadra on March 04, 2010, 11:26:39 pm
Just happened an hour or so ago and this time has been spent trying to keep myself from tantrum spiraling out of existence. A giant cave spider was for lack of a better word 'guarding' the exit of my fortress and not allowing my dwarfs to leave so I did eventually manage to drag it into a cage trap after the accidental sacrifice of nearly 10 dwarfs which nearly started a tantrum spiral. I got lucky. Yet I tried to make a giant cave spider web farm but apparently a giant cave spider will not shoot webs through a fortification wall. So now I have a spider inside some fortified walls scaring my dwarfs silly every time they walk down to grab a stone from near it. Any solutions to this?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xtank5 on March 04, 2010, 11:43:36 pm
Quote from: Set_Beadra on March 04, 2010, 11:26:39 pm
Just happened an hour or so ago and this time has been spent trying to keep myself from tantrum spiraling out of existence. A giant cave spider was for lack of a better word 'guarding' the exit of my fortress and not allowing my dwarfs to leave so I did eventually manage to drag it into a cage trap after the accidental sacrifice of nearly 10 dwarfs which nearly started a tantrum spiral. I got lucky. Yet I tried to make a giant cave spider web farm but apparently a giant cave spider will not shoot webs through a fortification wall. So now I have a spider inside some fortified walls scaring my dwarfs silly every time they walk down to grab a stone from near it. Any solutions to this?

I'm assuming those two levers off to the side control the cage the GCS was in and the floodgate that keeps it trapped. 

If all goes according to plan, the dwarf will go into the room, and stay to pull the cage lever.  Then after you are ready, the GCS is released by the floodgate lever, and then it gets caught in one of the cage traps. 
If it doesn't go according to plan, just route invaders through that room, and dig a tunnel to the lever room to get your lever puller out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Set_Beadra on March 05, 2010, 12:10:28 am
Awesome. Spider is captured again. Now I will just find another way to make a silk farm. =)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tcei on March 05, 2010, 01:35:08 am
Try something like this:

(http://i49.tinypic.com/b3uarn.jpg)
Code: [Select]
Key
Red: Fortifications
Green: Doors
Blue: Traps. Be sure to have one right out sidethe door and then another at a diagonal from the door.
S: Spider
D: puppy or other animal
But you can toggle the right combination of forbiden and pet forbidden to keep the spider permanently spewing web for your dwarves to collect. Be warned tho, theres a chance if your spider has been named that he may be able to open door that are pet forbidden. I've had it only happen once in a fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on March 05, 2010, 03:08:53 am
This isn't so much a facepalm on my part as it is just laughing at the stupidity of the way seiges sometimes go...

I was largely bored, not having any seiges because the goblins apparently decided to call off their war with me, but still chugging through because I was trying to get my major waterworks project done, plus finish all my absurd security measures to protect my dwarves from threats that don't appear.

Then I got the goblin seige that showed up that I talked about in the "gradual rise in difficulty" thread - only one goblin was a threat, the elite marksman who taught me that highly trained marksmen are completely immune to fortifications, and only stopped slaying dwarves because he ran out of ammo.  He was also the only goblin who actually managed to reach my gates (and promptly got caught in my very outer cage trap), while every other goblin just turned and fled.

OK, lessons learned, I'm two dwarves down, (and that makes 8 dwarves total, including the unfortunate accidents, I try to run a fairly safe fort) but ready for the next wave!

It shows up:  This time, they are led by legendaries, goblin local leaders, all three squads!  Umm... wait, what's this?  One of them's MISSING BOTH LEGS?  His socks and boots fly off as soon as he appears, and he pretty much promptly falls unconscious from the pain.  The goblin invasion stops because they don't know how to do anything but follow the leader.

Then the last living fire imp who is missing an arm because of picking too many fights with wandering unicorns regains consciousness long enough to chuck a fireball at them, and torches the whole squad.

VILE FORCES OF DARKNESS, BABY!  Slaughtered by random wildlife that is bleeding out!  OH YEAH!

----

This, however, was only one squad.

The other squads (which had marksmen in them) came as per normal.  Now, because the dwarven caravan had come, I had marked some nearby narrow leather crap for trading.  When the gobbos came, I forbid them going outside.  So my dwarves would try to go outside to pick stuff up, then realize they were outside, and turned around... then went to try to pick it back up.

Because "outside" would be in shooting range, I decided to forbid that crap.  They wouldn't pick up forbidden things, right?  HAHA! NOPE!  That just means that they'll keep trying to go there, AND when I marked that stuff off the list in the trade depot, they STILL went for it.

So, I unforbid the stuff, THEN mark it off the trade depot, and FINALLY, it works... only, my dwarves ARE STILL GOING FOR THE CRAP!  They are listed as having "No Job", but they won't go back until they stand over the crap that they aren't even going to pick up.  Activating and deactivating them in the military does nothing. The gobbos are getting close, so I activate the dwarves in the military, and station them back inside my base.  HAHA! TOO LATE, SUCKER!  They decide that as newly recruited army dwarves, the best thing they can do is make a headlong suicidal charge at a dozen goblin marksmen.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fullmoon on March 05, 2010, 02:57:36 pm
Hmpf. Well, you know what I hate? I hate dorfs' habit of bricking themselves up when building walls/fortifications in my future LiquidTtransportationSystem. You know, like this


######
...@#.  --> exit
######


So, I found a way to work this around.

#######
...##..
#######

#######
...##@.
#######

#######
....#..
#######

# - designated to build
# - built

Yay, go me!

Well, it seems that dorfs found a way to work me around!
Here we have future magma source for forges and glass furnaces. I need a fortification.
  dead end
.............
#############
     ###       
     #.#       
     #.#       
     #.#        

Two dorfs rushed here, one 6 tiles ahead. First one started construction of south wall, I removed another wall, and...

............
######@######
     ###       
     #@#       
     #.#       
     #.#
FFFFFUUUU....
Stupid dorf barely got there when wall was constructed... It's some sort of conspiracy, I tell ya'!


Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jerank on March 05, 2010, 03:29:19 pm
My biggest facepalm ever was in my third orc-mod siege. I had a giant, ballista-covered, trapped corridor with multiple bridges to throw opponents. I never figured on needing more then four champions. Anyway, four squads of orcs attack. I order my external bastion evacuated, forcing the orcs down my narrow corridor'o'doom. Halfway down, I order the bridges raised, resulting in many a flung orc. Then, for no reason whatsoever, my ENTIRE POPULATION decides to stampede down said hall, past, through, over and under the orcs without attacking them, charge headlong into the external bastion, out its gates, into the open, and into the brook! Eighty plus dwarves shoving past bewildered orcs to hurl themselves bodily into the cool, refreshing lake waters for a minute, then stampede madly BACK THROUGH THE ORCS into the dining room, only to REPEAT the process as soon as they had all gotten there, this time those that got past the orcs decided to run off in various directions until they hit the edges of the map. My champions never even left the barracks. I Rage Quit, and never returned.

All death items were forbidden, and dwarves could not go outside. No explanation for this stupidity other then suicidal brainlessness.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SquirrelWizard on March 05, 2010, 04:00:12 pm
I had a dragon appear on my map during a goblin siege, I had my doors shut to prevent the goblins from attacking (I'm still not 100% complete with the incenerator).  Now, my plan was to wait out the goblins, and once they were leaving, quickly run out and set some cage traps for the dragon, unfortunantly the dragon had other ideas and promptly killed some of the goblins.

Okay, so teh dragon kills the goblins, but somehow sets himself on fire with his own breath and burns to death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BigD145 on March 05, 2010, 05:03:36 pm
Quote from: jerank on March 05, 2010, 03:29:19 pm
All death items were forbidden, and dwarves could not go outside. No explanation for this stupidity other then suicidal brainlessness.

Lack of beer?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Set_Beadra on March 05, 2010, 06:21:12 pm
Quote from: Tcei on March 05, 2010, 01:35:08 am
Try something like this:

(http://i49.tinypic.com/b3uarn.jpg)
Code: [Select]
Key
Red: Fortifications
Green: Doors
Blue: Traps. Be sure to have one right out sidethe door and then another at a diagonal from the door.
S: Spider
D: puppy or other animal
But you can toggle the right combination of forbiden and pet forbidden to keep the spider permanently spewing web for your dwarves to collect. Be warned tho, theres a chance if your spider has been named that he may be able to open door that are pet forbidden. I've had it only happen once in a fort.

It didn't work. I built it exactly how you showed there and the spider just stands there staring at the animal while the animal goes nuts trying to escape. I recaptured the spider again but not too sure what to try next.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on March 05, 2010, 06:36:38 pm
Spiders will fire through fortifications...if they can path to walk to their target. Otherwise, they won't.

This leads to the odd solutions like alternating doors.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nobbins on March 05, 2010, 06:40:57 pm
Getting everyone ready as soon as a siege starts, then seeing them run towards the river, with no weapons, to get a drink. All the while charging at one fleet of kobolds.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on March 05, 2010, 09:14:21 pm
Quote from: CobaltKobold on March 05, 2010, 06:36:38 pm
Spiders will fire through fortifications...if they can path to walk to their target. Otherwise, they won't.

This leads to the odd solutions like alternating doors.

Or just set the door as unlocked, not pet passable; the spider will be able to path, but not move through the door.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on March 05, 2010, 09:58:08 pm
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on March 05, 2010, 03:08:53 am
This isn't so much a facepalm on my part as it is just laughing at the stupidity of the way seiges sometimes go...

I was largely bored, not having any seiges because the goblins apparently decided to call off their war with me, but still chugging through because I was trying to get my major waterworks project done, plus finish all my absurd security measures to protect my dwarves from threats that don't appear.

Then I got the goblin seige that showed up that I talked about in the "gradual rise in difficulty" thread - only one goblin was a threat, the elite marksman who taught me that highly trained marksmen are completely immune to fortifications, and only stopped slaying dwarves because he ran out of ammo.  He was also the only goblin who actually managed to reach my gates (and promptly got caught in my very outer cage trap), while every other goblin just turned and fled.

OK, lessons learned, I'm two dwarves down, (and that makes 8 dwarves total, including the unfortunate accidents, I try to run a fairly safe fort) but ready for the next wave!

It shows up:  This time, they are led by legendaries, goblin local leaders, all three squads!  Umm... wait, what's this?  One of them's MISSING BOTH LEGS?  His socks and boots fly off as soon as he appears, and he pretty much promptly falls unconscious from the pain.  The goblin invasion stops because they don't know how to do anything but follow the leader.

Then the last living fire imp who is missing an arm because of picking too many fights with wandering unicorns regains consciousness long enough to chuck a fireball at them, and torches the whole squad.

VILE FORCES OF DARKNESS, BABY!  Slaughtered by random wildlife that is bleeding out!  OH YEAH!

----

This, however, was only one squad.

The other squads (which had marksmen in them) came as per normal.  Now, because the dwarven caravan had come, I had marked some nearby narrow leather crap for trading.  When the gobbos came, I forbid them going outside.  So my dwarves would try to go outside to pick stuff up, then realize they were outside, and turned around... then went to try to pick it back up.

Because "outside" would be in shooting range, I decided to forbid that crap.  They wouldn't pick up forbidden things, right?  HAHA! NOPE!  That just means that they'll keep trying to go there, AND when I marked that stuff off the list in the trade depot, they STILL went for it.

So, I unforbid the stuff, THEN mark it off the trade depot, and FINALLY, it works... only, my dwarves ARE STILL GOING FOR THE CRAP!  They are listed as having "No Job", but they won't go back until they stand over the crap that they aren't even going to pick up.  Activating and deactivating them in the military does nothing. The gobbos are getting close, so I activate the dwarves in the military, and station them back inside my base.  HAHA! TOO LATE, SUCKER!  They decide that as newly recruited army dwarves, the best thing they can do is make a headlong suicidal charge at a dozen goblin marksmen.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU-

Hang on, it gets better, I'm still trying to get my dwarves to stop killing themselves!

Now, I savescummed that last piece of beautiful bug results away, because I don't consider it cheating to undo what I consider a flaw in the programming.  (And not being able to prevent your people from going outside by declaring it forbidden to go outside, forbidding the items that are outside, and removing the job order that would make them outside IS A GODD :o :P :-[ BUG.) 

So now, no more unarmed civilians (including the mayor) running headlong into goblin bowmen!

Wait, why are my wrestlers running out into a crowd of bowmen?

Oh, remember that part where I stationed them outside?  Yeah, they won't listen to that order until they actually go stand at the point that they had previously been stationed, and not even deactivating them will make them reconsider their pathing once they start moving.

So they run headlong into a dozen bowmen and get slaughtered while they have that blue "?" trying to figure out whether to follow orders and not stand out in the open when they are getting shot at, or just rush headlong into enemy lines. (They chose the latter).

Savescummed.

So now, I LOCK THE GODD :o :P :-[ DOORS near the trade depot/enterance.  They ram head-first into a door (why doesn't it open?  What's Locked mean?) before running outside to get slaughtered, get the red "?" which means they are trying to find another path, then realize that HEY! They're not supposed to stand outside like total sitting ducks anymore, they're supposed to be sitting behind the blind corner so they don't get turned to pincushions! 

Yay! problem averted, right?  HAHA! You haven't learned anything yet, these f :D ;) ;D ers I'm leading are worse than godd :o :P :-[ lemmings.  Lemmings just march blindly into danger, THESE dwarves find inventive new ways to GO OUT OF THEIR WAY to kill themselves.

OK, so now I have just a few civilians that I can't clear out of this hall because I'm just locking the d :o :P :-[ doors.  So they go on break.  Hey, since we're on break, let's go chug a few beers!  Hey, there's that barrel of beer out in the enterance that somone dropped because they were hauling it outside for no good reason when the outside got forbidden! Let's drink the booze that's right out in the open just as the goblin archers are coming, even though that barrel has already been forbidden!

Savescummed. 

At this point, I'm saying "F :D  ;)  8) it, traps only, no casualties, FINAL DESTINATION!"  So, I selectively lock and unlock doors to prevent anyone from getting to the main hallway, and let some of the dwarves who want into the fort proper back in.  Then I notice one of my dwarves that, instead of eating in the dining hall like a good dwarf, decided to drink the booze in the barracks decides to dump something at the exit of the fortress.  ARROWDED!

SAVESCUMMED!

I'm literally saving every 5 steps at this point, just trying to figure out what every single one  of these twits is THINKING, as they try and outwit me to find a new way to jump out in front of this firing squad against MULTIPLE DIRECT ORDERS.

I swear to god that Activating and Deactivating dwarves was supposed to AT LEAST make them re-path what they were doing, but NO!  They are DEAD SET on destroying themselves!  If I can't get it this time, I'm breaking open Dwarf Companion, and TELEPORTING these twits to the bottom of my (still dry) water tower, just so that, hopefully, they won't be able to find their way out in time for the goblin seige.

---------------

edit: Oops!  I forgot to censor myself.  For some reason, I broke out into swearing like a dwarven sailor finding out his rum was replaced with seawater.

Replacing all curse words with FUN!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doomshifter on March 06, 2010, 12:13:40 am
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on March 05, 2010, 09:58:08 pm
-huge quote-
Wow. Just... wow.

I mean, I know dwarves are dumb, but... they were actively seeking death! You'd think maybe they hate you or something!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sproingie on March 06, 2010, 01:14:06 am
Armok thirsts, and he won't be denied.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkflagrance on March 06, 2010, 01:19:48 am
You should just let them die for their stupidity. What's another soapmaker here and there? Their corpses will look spiffy decorating the walls of your crypts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on March 06, 2010, 01:23:15 am
Oh, and hey, here's an additional bit of fun!

Turns out, I was glancing over at Dwarf Therapist in between waves of goblins, and I saw that one of my dwarves was actually in the "unhappy" zone.  I looked her up to see why she was unhappy, and the reasons were "Starving" and "Dehydrating".

Whoops!  I had built a floodgate at the bottom of that still-dry water tower, and because some dwarves were clearing stones out of the dig site, they had been shut in, even though the floodgate constructor had not been.  This wouldn't have been a problem, because I had concurrently built a lever, and linked it to the floodgate as soon as it had been built... but then I was under seige and savescumming for a couple days, and completely forgot about the guys at the bottom of the well!

Good thing I caught this with Dwarf Therapist... now if only I could remember why I looked at Dwarf Therapist in the first place...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on March 06, 2010, 01:30:17 am
Quote from: darkflagrance on March 06, 2010, 01:19:48 am
You should just let them die for their stupidity. What's another soapmaker here and there? Their corpses will look spiffy decorating the walls of your crypts.

These aren't soapmakers.  One of them is one of my five-skill-legendaries mayor.

And the first one involved about 7 dwarves, three of which had been trained in skills I really use, like weaponsmith, and the wrestler had 8 ranks in wrestling, 14 in record keeping, and 8 in pump operator.

In fact, in the second wave, that same wrestler, for COMPLETELY inexplicable reasons, went rushing out to take on a completely fresh squad of goblin pikemen (plus a legendary local leader elite lasher) solo after I managed to kill off all the marksmen wave (except for one who managed to limp off the map with no kneecap) by letting them hit my traps, and ambushing them with my marksdwarves from my bunker as the survivors fled. 

(One of my marksdwarves also inexplicably rushed out into the field from inside the lower level of the bunker, then ran back inside, even though it was a 100-tile trip each way, but this occured between waves, so I didn't get too frustrated by it... I actually think he wanted to pick up one of the bolts he fired, in spite of literally standing on top of a bolt stockpile in the bunker.)

edit:  Savescummed away that last wrestler running out there.  He actually was doing well against the legendary goblin lasher and two goblins, but then he got hit by the horde, and was pretty much ripped limb from limb in an explosive fashion.  My six marksdwarves popped up and lit the goblins up like a candle, but they couldn't take down enough of them to matter to the wrestler.

I'm just deactivating my non-marksdwarves (getting them some kills is NOT worth this headache, they can just wrestle the 40-odd gobbos stuck in cages all around the surface once I finally have enough free dwarves to collect them and I build an arena), and keeping my marksdwarves hidden below my fortification level on my bunker
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on March 06, 2010, 01:52:05 am
...Wow.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on March 06, 2010, 02:47:55 am
Oh, and I think I've figured out why, of my 6 marksdwarves, only one, and occasionally two, were actually being useful.  (Also, maybe why a marksdwarf went running OUT of my fortress to grab the stack of bolts the goblin marksman had.)  You see, while my USEFUL marksdwarves were sitting in their bunker, on top of a iron bolt stockpile produced as a side-product of training my smiths, my MORON marksdwarves had quivers with a single elf bone arrow inside it, probably leftovers from training.  This means that, after firing one bolt (into the fortifications, because they were so excited to see goblins that they prematurely ejac fired their crossbows without actually moving up to the fortifications, then decided that the dead goblin marksmen outside had shinier crossbow bolts than the stockpile they were literally standing in the middle of at the time.  As such, I STILL have the same pair of marksdwarves running out to grab more crossbow bolts from dead goblins even as the goblin squad is heading directly for them.

(That, or, since it is "close to their station", the ammo-less dwarves think that they can just run 100 tiles over to bludgeon the gobbos to death with their crossbow instead of just picking up the ammo they are F :D ;) 8) ING STANDING ON.)

edit: There were five squads of goblins to start with (I actually didn't see them all at first).  I have killed or routed 3 of them.  One was killed by a fire imp throwing a fireball.  The last has a goblin local leader who is continuously unconscious because of the damage he had suffered in worldgen, and as such, isn't actually moving.  I've pretty much just let my dwarves outside again, because my aboveground farm (even though it is inside, it counts as "outside" for some stupid reason, just because it was once outside) is going to have an entire season's worth of crops rot on the vine if I don't.  (It's the 2nd of Sandstone, Late Summer.  That means the seige has been here for almost two straight months, now.  And this is the second season in a row for these seiges.)

Then the game pauses.  A dragon is rampaging.

I didn't even get to secure the cage with the titan that just rampaged on map 2 months ago, and I get another dragon.

I should point out that I haven't had ANYTHING, not even goblin ambushes, for the past three straight years.

When it rains, it f :D ;) 8) ing convinces your dwarves to bust down the levees themselves so they can drown.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BigD145 on March 06, 2010, 10:51:25 am
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on March 06, 2010, 01:23:15 am
Oh, and hey, here's an additional bit of fun!

Turns out, I was glancing over at Dwarf Therapist in between waves of goblins, and I saw that one of my dwarves was actually in the "unhappy" zone.  I looked her up to see why she was unhappy, and the reasons were "Starving" and "Dehydrating".

Whoops!  I had built a floodgate at the bottom of that still-dry water tower, and because some dwarves were clearing stones out of the dig site, they had been shut in, even though the floodgate constructor had not been.  This wouldn't have been a problem, because I had concurrently built a lever, and linked it to the floodgate as soon as it had been built... but then I was under seige and savescumming for a couple days, and completely forgot about the guys at the bottom of the well!

Good thing I caught this with Dwarf Therapist... now if only I could remember why I looked at Dwarf Therapist in the first place...

I usually try to build my floodgates and set up a Pull Lever at the end of the list.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on March 06, 2010, 11:05:43 am
Just for funsies, I went ahead and let the dragon rampage without doing anything.

I had already set my dwarves to cut away a bunch of ramps near my enterance, so that you couldn't just walk over the mountain, down a nearly shear cliff, and just u-turn into my fortress's enterance, and was cutting it so that the corners would lead into my cage traps, basically ensuring that anything not coming from due east of my fortress (which is still a field) would involve stepping on cage traps.  They didn't cut the right ramps in time, though, so the dragon managed to get through.  Some of my legendary miners tried to wrestle with the dragon.  They didn't deal damage.  4 dead legendary miners, 3 dead other highly skilled dwarves.  3 dead wardogs and 1 dead pet wolf.  Then the dragon blew up the drawbridge that is the only enterance into my fort, got confused, and turned around, and walked into a cage trap.

Fun, but there isn't much I have to do to prevent that from happening...  Really, all I need to is send out my useless suicidal wrestlers military dwarves as bait on the other side of the cage traps, and pull the lever on my bridge so they are the only dwarves that you can path to.

Fun fact: This is the last female dragon in my world.  The only remaining dragon is a male.  When he attacks (at this rate, probably next week), I will tame them both, and mod them to be matable, and start a dragon soap factory.  (Until then, I'll keep her in a cage near my chained Titan/goddess.)

Edit: now HERE's the real facepalm/just shoot me now moment...

I just forgot to backup my save before letting the dragon rampage and slay a half dozen legendaries and starting a tantrum spiral.  My last backup that I didn't copy over was from the very start of this seige.

I have to do THIS ENTIRE F :D ;) 8) ING THING OVER AGAIN.

heh  HAHAHAAHAHAHA! This.  This is terrific.


----

edit again: Playing through this once more, I am amazed by the fact that I can't pay any attention to the actual goblins, because I am spending all my time watching my dwarves, selectively locking or unlocking doors to let dwarves in without letting the damn things out.

I feel like Maxwell's Demon.

----

keep on editing:

Oddly enough, the gobbos somehow coordinated their attack this time, and the two melee gobbo squads hit my base at basically the same time, just after the marksman gobbos were almost utterly destroyed, which meant that I didn't have time to duck my marksdwarves back behind cover to re-ambush them.  Instead, it turned into a bloody slaughter as gobbos tried to rush the bridge in a rare display of bravery.

I have no idea how those gobbo squads managed to book for my bridge that fast, as it took them 8 more game days to get there last play through.  Still, the results are an impressive river of blood in the making, and my better marksdwarves racking up 10 kills each plus filling out every spot in their names.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(Apparently, my marksdwarf mother who juggles her babies between volleys of crossbow bolts and whose older daughter talks to her while she fights goblins has gained the title "The Annoys Simple of Men")

----

New facepalm, some of my useless marksdwarves are standing at the fortifications, with crossbow and bolts in hand, (and not out of ammo... although I AM on my last two stacks of bolts in my stockpile, which means I've already fired 200 bolts so far) NOT shooting at goblins 5 tiles away from them.

I have NO idea why.

----

My marksdwarf mother managed to reload and step back up to the task.  She's completely insane, and has hit martial trance, which is pretty impressive for someone who starts this seige off as "competent".  A surprisingly low number of goblins managed to flee.  5 actually got out of crossbow range (out of about 50, although 7 hit random outdoor cage traps for trapping wildlife), and only two of those have no injuries (some limping away on red legs or with an arrow embedded in their red lower torso).  The remaining goblins are unconscious with at least one red injury, and basically just waiting for mercy shots to finish them off. 

It's now the 23rd of Limestone.  I have 9 days to throw out the welcome mat for that dragon.

Now that I actually know what it is I have to do, this seige is actually kind of fun (and/or my brain broke, and I am confusing masochism with fun).  I wonder if anyone would like the save for the start of this season (or last summer) uploaded?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Set_Beadra on March 06, 2010, 03:04:39 pm
Cancel spam from an injured permanently unconscious cripple. And I accidentally tamed this spider. Meant to try and tame the titan I had captured but got the names mixed up and tamed the spider instead. Turns out I can't even tame the titan for w/e reason. I thought having a dungeon master made that possible.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on March 06, 2010, 03:49:35 pm
Quote from: Set_Beadra on March 06, 2010, 03:04:39 pm
Cancel spam from an injured permanently unconscious cripple. And I accidentally tamed this spider. Meant to try and tame the titan I had captured but got the names mixed up and tamed the spider instead. Turns out I can't even tame the titan for w/e reason. I thought having a dungeon master made that possible.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
While I refuse to make any certain statements, you can only tame animals which have the tag [PET] or [PET_EXOTIC], and the latter require the DM. If the titan doesn't have either of those tags, no can do. While we're on the subject, [trAINABLE] is the tag used to determine whether something can be turned into a war/hunting animal, and [CHILD:X] is the tag required to breed anything, with X being the number of years to adulthood. Use Dwarf Companion to make one of your animals another titan, get a breeding pair, and breed war titans!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Don Blake on March 06, 2010, 10:32:47 pm
Quote from: darthbob88 on March 06, 2010, 03:49:35 pm
Quote from: Set_Beadra on March 06, 2010, 03:04:39 pm
Cancel spam from an injured permanently unconscious cripple. And I accidentally tamed this spider. Meant to try and tame the titan I had captured but got the names mixed up and tamed the spider instead. Turns out I can't even tame the titan for w/e reason. I thought having a dungeon master made that possible.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
While I refuse to make any certain statements, you can only tame animals which have the tag [PET] or [PET_EXOTIC], and the latter require the DM. If the titan doesn't have either of those tags, no can do. While we're on the subject, [trAINABLE] is the tag used to determine whether something can be turned into a war/hunting animal, and [CHILD:X] is the tag required to breed anything, with X being the number of years to adulthood. Use Dwarf Companion to make one of your animals another titan, get a breeding pair, and breed war titans!

I think for megabeasts, you also have to remove the [Megabeast] tag, which removes some of the poitn.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on March 06, 2010, 11:04:24 pm
I'm starting to suspect I broke my dwarves' brains somehow... 

I'm finally back up to the "Dragon attack" (resulted in running straight into a cage trap because I removed ramps until creatures had to march in along just a couple predictable paths), and when the dragon hit, I once again hit "only soldiers go outside".

My dwarves pretty much dutifully once again hid themselves from harm.

Except for one character, who is my second-best cook.  She was carrying a bag of rat weed seeds from the earlier tradesplosion.  Her job was listed as "dump item".  This was odd because she was sitting right at the enterance to my fort, doing nothing.  I mean, sitting there watching the dragon walk by as it went and got itself stuck in a trap, doing nothing.  When I let dwarves back outside, she immediately ran outside to just go toss the seeds onto the grass.

What's worse is that this stack of seeds had to have come from inside my fort, and I have NO outside dump sites, meaning she's sitting out in the open waiting for the green light to march out in the open when I have the "outside forbidden" to do something she's not even supposed to do.  I have NO idea what my dwarves are thinking anymore, and I'm really starting to suspect that the large number of random trash items is starting to cause severe AI bugs.

edit:  There were actually several pages of seeds sitting on a single tile in the grass near my enterance.  Apparently, my farmers have been dumping seeds here ALL YEAR without my knowledge.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: techno65535 on March 07, 2010, 01:04:18 am
Kohaku, your posts about that seige pushed me over the wall of registering just to post this. Reading that has made my night (currently at work for the next 6 hours). You definately have had Fun. Still laughing about it acutally.

P.S. Where's your avatar from? Looks familiar.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on March 07, 2010, 01:23:19 am
Quote from: techno65535 on March 07, 2010, 01:04:18 am
Kohaku, your posts about that seige pushed me over the wall of registering just to post this. Reading that has made my night (currently at work for the next 6 hours). You definately have had Fun. Still laughing about it acutally.

P.S. Where's your avatar from? Looks familiar.

... It's been an experience.  I actually had fun with the last batch of seigers, just because it was such a shooting gallery, but there has simply been too many random items lying around my fort...

I have constant miasma clouds because my cats killed some random cockroach, and nobody can pick it up because they're all picking up all the other random items my "visitors" have dropped, and a goblin corpse or three is now rotting in the main enterance.

P.S.  It's Kohaku from Tsukihime.  The cheerful and friendly maid who is... well, plotting to kill the main character's whole family.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Innominate on March 07, 2010, 05:00:08 am
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on March 06, 2010, 11:04:24 pm
-snip-

edit:  There were actually several pages of seeds sitting on a single tile in the grass near my enterance.  Apparently, my farmers have been dumping seeds here ALL YEAR without my knowledge.
I think your dwarves are actually agents of the elves. Best to purify with magma. If magma not available, use carp. If modding is acceptable, use magmacarp.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sir Broccoli on March 07, 2010, 07:26:54 am
One day I realized that normal maps just aren't interesting enough so I decided to embark on an evil map. The dorfs decided it was a good idea to park the wagon next to a river.
Filled with carp.
And hippos.

Did I forget to mention they were all skeletal and filled with hate?

I've never seen so much blood...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dorf3000 on March 07, 2010, 09:03:02 am
I have a river that's 1z level down from the surface, so fishes can't just pull dwarves in from the edge.  I wanted to build a little platform over the surface, but they wont do it - the sturgeon and sea lampreys scare off the masons.  I finally got sick of this and made one of my champions be a marksdwarf for a day to get rid of them.. he just stands there looking at the fish.  When I finally manage to get him to pick up a crossbow (yes, he was holding armor in his hands... and I'd set all the xbows to be melted which took me a while to figure out...) he promptly kills off the lampreys but not the sturgeon.  I have no idea why.  Thinking it might be because he can't aim at them, or they don't look dangerous, I dig a little tunnel down and breach just above the river, so he can stand at the 'shore'.  Sturgeon swim up and rip him to pieces.  I've save scummed about 20 times now and the same thing happens.  He won't fire at them at all, and occasionally he manages to wrestle one to death before being ripped to chunks.  Finally I've resorted to cheating - I'm going to dam the river with magma and drown the b*%^&y b*#%$#@s!

I can't wait for the next version when dwarves can actually be told 'kill this damned animal now!!!!'
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkrider2 on March 07, 2010, 11:52:17 am
So a goblin ambush popped up, no biggie. I'll just seal the gates and let them use the siege entrence (also the elf merchant entrence), placed my marksdwarves accordingly, and said only soldiers could be outside.  A couple dwarves were accidentally left outside... the ambush managed to kill 2 fishers and a cook... I didn't figure it was a problem.

Then my entire marksdwarf squad decides its time to go get a drink... and the gobbo's are on their way. All I can do is wait and hope they finish their booze and are still sober enough to aim their damn weapons before the goblins get in. I couldn't seal the seige entrence because the lever was outside. XD

My fort was built to utilize the river canyon in the middle of the map... one of my housing wards was placed on the opposite side (underground) with a bridge between. Since their were no meeting places left and they couldn't go outside... they all tried to rush to their rooms, each dwarf would run up to the bridge... stop realizing they can't go outside... back up... then run at it again and do the same thing.

The gobbo marksmen took pleasure in dwarven stupidity and started firing down at the confused dwarves... I lost about 3 more dwarves. One of them must have been jesus because almost everyone in the fort had extreme bad thoughts after that. A tantrum spiral followed naturally.

I lost about 100 dwarves before summer was over... and despite that I still got some migrants (4).

Reclaiming...........
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Diablous on March 07, 2010, 03:08:49 pm
For the longest time, I have wondered why my dorfs would leave goblin bones outside, where they would be lost, meaning I can't use them. Today I found out why "Dwarves ignore refuse from outside." I don't remember how it got like that, maybe it was default, but that has changed. Now my military and guard will have goblin bone gaunlets, greaves, and helms.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on March 07, 2010, 03:45:13 pm
Quote from: Diablous on March 07, 2010, 03:08:49 pm
For the longest time, I have wondered why my dorfs would leave goblin bones outside, where they would be lost, meaning I can't use them. Today I found out why "Dwarves ignore refuse from outside." I don't remember how it got like that, maybe it was default, but that has changed. Now my military and guard will have goblin bone gaunlets, greaves, and helms.

It is the default.  It's pretty much a "for your own protection" thing.  If groundhogs are getting slain by fire imps starting grass fires, do you really want your dwarves rushing into that to collect the bones?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Diablous on March 07, 2010, 03:47:02 pm
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on March 07, 2010, 03:45:13 pm
Quote from: Diablous on March 07, 2010, 03:08:49 pm
For the longest time, I have wondered why my dorfs would leave goblin bones outside, where they would be lost, meaning I can't use them. Today I found out why "Dwarves ignore refuse from outside." I don't remember how it got like that, maybe it was default, but that has changed. Now my military and guard will have goblin bone gaunlets, greaves, and helms.

It is the default.  It's pretty much a "for your own protection" thing.  If groundhogs are getting slain by fire imps starting grass fires, do you really want your dwarves rushing into that to collect the bones?

True, but it would have been nice to know about it earlier. And besides, I make it so fire imps can't get out. So many bones have been wasted thanks to this.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on March 07, 2010, 03:56:50 pm
Quote from: Diablous on March 07, 2010, 03:47:02 pm
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on March 07, 2010, 03:45:13 pm
Quote from: Diablous on March 07, 2010, 03:08:49 pm
For the longest time, I have wondered why my dorfs would leave goblin bones outside, where they would be lost, meaning I can't use them. Today I found out why "Dwarves ignore refuse from outside." I don't remember how it got like that, maybe it was default, but that has changed. Now my military and guard will have goblin bone gaunlets, greaves, and helms.

It is the default.  It's pretty much a "for your own protection" thing.  If groundhogs are getting slain by fire imps starting grass fires, do you really want your dwarves rushing into that to collect the bones?

True, but it would have been nice to know about it earlier. And besides, I make it so fire imps can't get out. So many bones have been wasted thanks to this.

I know what it's like to wish you could use every scrap of resources available to you, but... I know that from my experience I sometimes just forbid those suckers and leave them out there.  My bone stockpiles aren't depleted fast enough for it to be worthwhile, and if you actually run out of places to dump refuse like dead cockroaches or rotting food, you're going to be up to your neck in miasma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Diablous on March 07, 2010, 04:04:41 pm
Well... due to my bone armor making spree, I guess I've been having like a shortage. And besides, due to my layout, I have tons of room to expand my bone hoard. And the goblins are seiging again. Time to get some more bones!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on March 07, 2010, 04:56:35 pm
Quote from: Diablous on March 07, 2010, 04:04:41 pm
Well... due to my bone armor making spree, I guess I've been having like a shortage. And besides, due to my layout, I have tons of room to expand my bone hoard. And the goblins are seiging again. Time to get some more bones!

Ah... I pretty much just use bones for training bolts, although once I get my unicorn slaughterhouse up and running (I really need to get on that), I'll be more into making arts and crafts.

Still, I have enough metal that I don't worry about bone armor.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Diablous on March 07, 2010, 04:59:29 pm
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on March 07, 2010, 04:56:35 pm
Quote from: Diablous on March 07, 2010, 04:04:41 pm
Well... due to my bone armor making spree, I guess I've been having like a shortage. And besides, due to my layout, I have tons of room to expand my bone hoard. And the goblins are seiging again. Time to get some more bones!

Ah... I pretty much just use bones for training bolts, although once I get my unicorn slaughterhouse up and running (I really need to get on that), I'll be more into making arts and crafts.

Still, I have enough metal that I don't worry about bone armor.

The bone armor is mainly for effect. I have so much goblin crap that I'm not melting it fast enough!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkflagrance on March 07, 2010, 06:12:05 pm
Best use of bone IMO is to decorate crap or make bolts. Just leave the task on repeat. An item can be decorated by many different types of bone, leading to some items with the entire screen filled with descriptions of the stuff decorating them.

Also, I was recently sieged by an army of monsters I modded in, called great demon spiders, and for some inexplicable reason my dwarves would run out to meet them. After one third of my fort died and another sixth died to the resulting spiral, I realized that the cause of the rush were human, orc, goblin, and spider leather and bone trinkets dropped by the spiders when they arrived.

Because the spiders couldn't wear the items due to lacking the appropriate bodyparts, they'd fall off when the spiders arrived. Then, my greedy dwarves would automatically detect them and rush out to grab them, leading to their unfortunate demise.

TL:DR - Spiders dropping loot outside my fortress to lure my dwarves to their silky doom.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UberNube on March 07, 2010, 11:37:41 pm
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on March 06, 2010, 11:04:24 pm
I'm starting to suspect I broke my dwarves' brains somehow... 

I'm finally back up to the "Dragon attack" (resulted in running straight into a cage trap because I removed ramps until creatures had to march in along just a couple predictable paths), and when the dragon hit, I once again hit "only soldiers go outside".

My dwarves pretty much dutifully once again hid themselves from harm.

Except for one character, who is my second-best cook.  She was carrying a bag of rat weed seeds from the earlier tradesplosion.  Her job was listed as "dump item".  This was odd because she was sitting right at the enterance to my fort, doing nothing.  I mean, sitting there watching the dragon walk by as it went and got itself stuck in a trap, doing nothing.  When I let dwarves back outside, she immediately ran outside to just go toss the seeds onto the grass.

What's worse is that this stack of seeds had to have come from inside my fort, and I have NO outside dump sites, meaning she's sitting out in the open waiting for the green light to march out in the open when I have the "outside forbidden" to do something she's not even supposed to do.  I have NO idea what my dwarves are thinking anymore, and I'm really starting to suspect that the large number of random trash items is starting to cause severe AI bugs.

edit:  There were actually several pages of seeds sitting on a single tile in the grass near my enterance.  Apparently, my farmers have been dumping seeds here ALL YEAR without my knowledge.

There does seem to be a bug where dwarves will treat any bag/barrel which contains seeds exactly like a seeds stockpile. This means that they will go as far as to pile vast numbers of loose seeds in a single place despite you never having designated that area as a stockpile. This is especially annoying if, for example, a caravan drops a barrel of seeds far from your entrance during an attack, then ALL your dwarves rush out to dump seeds there for no reason.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Innominate on March 07, 2010, 11:50:40 pm
Quote from: UberNube on March 07, 2010, 11:37:41 pm
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on March 06, 2010, 11:04:24 pm
I'm starting to suspect I broke my dwarves' brains somehow... 

I'm finally back up to the "Dragon attack" (resulted in running straight into a cage trap because I removed ramps until creatures had to march in along just a couple predictable paths), and when the dragon hit, I once again hit "only soldiers go outside".

My dwarves pretty much dutifully once again hid themselves from harm.

Except for one character, who is my second-best cook.  She was carrying a bag of rat weed seeds from the earlier tradesplosion.  Her job was listed as "dump item".  This was odd because she was sitting right at the enterance to my fort, doing nothing.  I mean, sitting there watching the dragon walk by as it went and got itself stuck in a trap, doing nothing.  When I let dwarves back outside, she immediately ran outside to just go toss the seeds onto the grass.

What's worse is that this stack of seeds had to have come from inside my fort, and I have NO outside dump sites, meaning she's sitting out in the open waiting for the green light to march out in the open when I have the "outside forbidden" to do something she's not even supposed to do.  I have NO idea what my dwarves are thinking anymore, and I'm really starting to suspect that the large number of random trash items is starting to cause severe AI bugs.

edit:  There were actually several pages of seeds sitting on a single tile in the grass near my enterance.  Apparently, my farmers have been dumping seeds here ALL YEAR without my knowledge.

There does seem to be a bug where dwarves will treat any bag/barrel which contains seeds exactly like a seeds stockpile. This means that they will go as far as to pile vast numbers of loose seeds in a single place despite you never having designated that area as a stockpile. This is especially annoying if, for example, a caravan drops a barrel of seeds far from your entrance during an attack, then ALL your dwarves rush out to dump seeds there for no reason.
Annoying in some contexts, certainly, but not a bug. See the init.txt file for information about bin preferencing and how you can change it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: teloft on March 08, 2010, 04:35:27 am
Quote from: UberNube on March 07, 2010, 11:37:41 pm
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on March 06, 2010, 11:04:24 pm
I'm starting to suspect I broke my dwarves' brains somehow... 

I'm finally back up to the "Dragon attack" (resulted in running straight into a cage trap because I removed ramps until creatures had to march in along just a couple predictable paths), and when the dragon hit, I once again hit "only soldiers go outside".

My dwarves pretty much dutifully once again hid themselves from harm.

Except for one character, who is my second-best cook.  She was carrying a bag of rat weed seeds from the earlier tradesplosion.  Her job was listed as "dump item".  This was odd because she was sitting right at the enterance to my fort, doing nothing.  I mean, sitting there watching the dragon walk by as it went and got itself stuck in a trap, doing nothing.  When I let dwarves back outside, she immediately ran outside to just go toss the seeds onto the grass.

What's worse is that this stack of seeds had to have come from inside my fort, and I have NO outside dump sites, meaning she's sitting out in the open waiting for the green light to march out in the open when I have the "outside forbidden" to do something she's not even supposed to do.  I have NO idea what my dwarves are thinking anymore, and I'm really starting to suspect that the large number of random trash items is starting to cause severe AI bugs.

edit:  There were actually several pages of seeds sitting on a single tile in the grass near my enterance.  Apparently, my farmers have been dumping seeds here ALL YEAR without my knowledge.

There does seem to be a bug where dwarves will treat any bag/barrel which contains seeds exactly like a seeds stockpile. This means that they will go as far as to pile vast numbers of loose seeds in a single place despite you never having designated that area as a stockpile. This is especially annoying if, for example, a caravan drops a barrel of seeds far from your entrance during an attack, then ALL your dwarves rush out to dump seeds there for no reason.

it would be so nice if the d. would stop running to the corner of the map to do silly things.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mrbobbyg on March 08, 2010, 11:26:43 am
I'm happily watching my one not wounded champion knock a bunch of ambushers into pieces with his steel hammer, and when I get back to my fort, I notice that my dwarven reactor has stopped working, which caused my mist generator to fail, which put mud all over my nice floors. 

Then I realized that while 1 tile wells are easy to fill, they empty really quickly, and I guess that they drank up my reactor fuel?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on March 08, 2010, 12:19:40 pm
Weaponsmith got possessed and rushed off to make his artifact.  I see him grab some bars from the nearby cluttered smelter and he begins his work, so I don't worry about it after that.

I have a number of modded metals, one is starmetal (from Order Of The Stick) that starmetal is heavy as all get out and rare as hell. and like bismuth, you can't make anything with it, just alloy it.  The alloys, stariron and starsteel, are quite nice, almost 2x iron.  I was saving some up to make a starsteel greatsword for one of my champions.

The weaponsmith takes all 3 bars of starmetal I collected in 4 years of fortress life and makes a solid starmetal warhammer.  For one, it's really heavy.  For 2 Pure starmetal has no weapon or armor stats, making it as good as wood, and for 3, the big one.  My modded fortress race cannot use warhammers!   ...At least it's worth alot.

I have now learned to lock up my expensive super rare metals.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: OldManNeck on March 08, 2010, 07:55:07 pm
This just happened recently. My entire fort is going insane for one reason. I didn't know that drinks were made by the barrel. I thought that they could be added to barrels separately. So, my dorfs get ambushed drinking from the river, a lot of them die, and the friends of the dead dorfs tantrum. The miasma isn't helping either.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Set_Beadra on March 08, 2010, 11:29:20 pm
Just, this....
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SquidgyB on March 09, 2010, 03:14:12 am
I just pressed "Shift + >" to move the page down in firefox...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rolan7 on March 09, 2010, 03:27:28 am
Quote from: Set_Beadra on March 08, 2010, 11:29:20 pm
Just, this....
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Many-pointed stars?  Haha, it's a thong of CHAOS.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kipi on March 09, 2010, 05:10:42 am
My latest:

I had nice little fortress running, very self sufficient with only 10 dwarves. The I get Orc siege. No problem, I just pull the lever that raises the bridge to my fort and wait the orcs to leave.
What, the bridge doesn't rise?!
*facepalm*
Forgot to link the lever to the bridge. At the point when my mechanic was starting to do the linking the orcs were over my bridge already...
All the blood everywhere...
So beautiful... *sniff*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: belannaer on March 09, 2010, 06:01:03 am
I was melting crap I had made for mandates and happened to melt a masterwork of my legendary weaponcrafter who went to tantrum and broke a fishery and promptly got his skull smashed in by the captain of the guard...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gculk on March 09, 2010, 12:00:04 pm
Urist McWoodcrafter has created Uselesswood, a Shitty Wooden Idol!
Urist McWoodcrafter cancels Store Item in a Stockpile: Interrupted by Cave Swallowman
Urist McWoodcrafter has fallen down a deep chasm.

Useless/worthless idol, and the loss of a useless legendary in seconds.  Hurrah.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: John Keel on March 09, 2010, 03:27:07 pm
So, I'm in the middle of an Orc siege. I have about 40 dwarves. They had done a lot of damage in other sieges, but it was only around 7 dwarves total. There had been 2 others, the first with no ranged, the second with a single boworc (who killed 3 crossbowdwarves.) This one, though, had about 15 crossboworcs. I did fairly well from my fortified walls, and killed off a bunch. But there was a problem: the rest of them were behind my fort at a point where I had only walls, not fortifications, due to a height difference. "OK," I thought. "I can build ramps up on to the walls. After all, one of my (4) marksdwarves has an artifact crossbow!" But no, it was not to be. Two died, and when I tried to get them to retreat, they held their ground. 6 other dwarves came up to grab their items, and 5 died instantly. The last one fell off the wall into the fort, and was constantly spamming "Urist McWounded cancels Rest: Interrupted by Orc Wrestler" for some stupid reason until he died later. Thinking that I could kill them with a little magma, delivered piping hot, Fuck the World style, I set up my pumps and windmill. Everything was in place except for the final wall to prevent it from spilling into my main fort and the final access channel to allow in the magma constantly pumped into my furnace area.
This was where things went even more completely and horribly wrong. In order to prevent myself from killing everyone, the upper one of two pumps had a door in front of it, connected to a lever. However, because the orcs would murder anyone who tried to build in their sight (which I wasn't quite stupid enough to do) I had to remove a section of wall in plain sight. I removed one section of wall in the tube that connected the upper pump and replaced it with a door. Orcs hadn't been able to destroy my test door for the lower magma flooding channel, so I assumed I was fine. I wasn't.
Turns out that they can destroy wood doors, but not rock ones. They got into my fort and basically started killing everyone. My four champion hammerdwarves killed only two of the 20ish remaining orcs before dying, and all I had remaining was a bunch of dwarves out in the main fort (who will be referred to as "Acceptable Losses" from now on) and about 10 dwarves locked into their bedrooms, which I always door off so that I can have a massive dining hall without overlapping. I figured that I might as well kill as many orcs as I could (they were just standing around in the main halls after killing everyone) and my one dwarf with a pick digs out the final magma channel. Magma zooms over to my secondary pump. My fortress starts burning.
Eventually, the orcs have all either died or left. My miner and a single peasant have died (I accidentally unlocked one of the doors in their wing without noticing) and my remaining 8 dwarves, in various states of woundedness, are walled off in the final bed wing after the door jammed on a piece of clothing. My glassmaker is in possession of a pick after a daring run just allows him to make it past the magma and orcs about to kill him and remove any hope of survival after a reclaim. All my food and booze is gone.
Currently, all but 2 of those 8 are dead, and 2 of the 5 migrants that arrived just in time to save my ass are dead to either smoke or orc wounds leaving them in bed with no buckets.

I think I need to build some sort of facepalm machine for myself.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on March 09, 2010, 08:52:43 pm
Quote from: Set_Beadra on March 08, 2010, 11:29:20 pm
Just, this....
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

... It's a thong with SPIKES? 

I suddenly think of that episode of the Simpsons, where Homer keeps putting on more thongs that get sucked into his rolls of fat and dissapear, prompting him to say, "Oh, I hope that's going somewhere good..."

... let's just hope the spikes pointed OUTWARDS.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LostxInxThought on March 10, 2010, 10:42:55 am
4 dwarves, a peasant and her two children, and the liason, lost their lives today, while I tried to fix a mistake made setting up some millstones.

what happened, was I forgot to add up the power requirements, and found out a bit late that I was short a windmill to power the millstones. (facepalm #1)
not a problem, I think to myself, I'll just remove some of the walls built around the vertical axles, add another windmill, wall them back up, and all will be well.
I removed the wrong section of wall.. it happened to be supporting the other windmills, and the floors under them, which came crashing down on top of the peasant and her two kids, killing them instantly. (facepalm #2)
turns out, the outpost liason was wandering past there to get to my trader, who was collecting wood. He passed under the windmill platform, and his body wound up in my graveyard with the others. (facepalm #3)

Oh well, at least I got my millstones running now  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Myiagros on March 11, 2010, 10:58:13 am
The first time I was ever sieged I was unsure as to how powerful the attackers would be, I was playing with Dig Deeper so it was a group of orcs, maybe 10-15 of them.

I drew up my bridge and sent a couple trainees out thinking they could drive them away with some bolts to the face. I took out maybe one or two of them before I got tired of waiting and activated my 5 Legendary wrestlers and sent them out to deal with the orcs. Upon lowering the bridge they quickly swarmed over my army, killing them all.

I ended up having to activate my entire fortress of 30 dwarfs in order to kill them all, at the end I had 5 guys left to carry on which I did for another season before the next siege came. With no military I tried recruiting the rest of my group as crossbowmen but as soon as they got to my fortifications they got pummeled by a shower of bolts from the orcs, that spelled the end of that fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kitpup on March 12, 2010, 08:08:11 am
Just now, irrigating underground farms for the first time. Had it all set up, perfect plots ready for soil, had water already pumped up from the brook for my moat so I just channeled it to where I was going to farm, set up the floodgate then let the water into the farm channels. Pulled the lever. Flooded the farms. And then realized I hadn't built any drainage.

[/facepalm]

Edit: And again just now, listening to Taylor Swift wherein she mentions the Seven Dwarfs...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AngleWyrm on March 12, 2010, 11:48:22 am
(http://img16.imageshack.us/img16/9853/embarkmechanisms.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on March 12, 2010, 11:51:46 am
Quote from: AngleWyrm on March 12, 2010, 11:48:22 am
(http://img16.imageshack.us/img16/9853/embarkmechanisms.png)

So? Sounds more like good planning to me than a facepalm. Besides, from the buildings and the chair and table, looks like you found more rock. Unless thats from the granite you bought on embark.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Morgus on March 12, 2010, 11:53:13 am
Make sure they haven't been selected to be moved by a dwarf. That takes them out of selection use until they get dropped off.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on March 12, 2010, 11:58:07 am
Quote from: Morgus on March 12, 2010, 11:53:13 am
Make sure they haven't been selected to be moved by a dwarf. That takes them out of selection use until they get dropped off.

Or perhaps forbidden. Still, just keep digging down and you'll hit rock, not that hard.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BigD145 on March 12, 2010, 05:13:34 pm
Quote from: Kitpup on March 12, 2010, 08:08:11 am
Just now, irrigating underground farms for the first time. Had it all set up, perfect plots ready for soil, had water already pumped up from the brook for my moat so I just channeled it to where I was going to farm, set up the floodgate then let the water into the farm channels. Pulled the lever. Flooded the farms. And then realized I hadn't built any drainage.

[/facepalm]

Too much water? You should have piped magma in. Magma solves everything.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: atomicthumbs on March 12, 2010, 05:15:50 pm
I made an outdoor, walled-in statue garden built into the side of a mountain to cure my dwarves' cave adaptation.
Turns out that when the goblins with crossbows arrive, the statue garden turns into a deathtrap.

Edit:

Also:
(http://i.imgur.com/P8LWl.png)

I hate my clothier now
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on March 12, 2010, 09:04:13 pm
Quote from: atomicthumbs on March 12, 2010, 05:15:50 pm
I made an outdoor, walled-in statue garden built into the side of a mountain to cure my dwarves' cave adaptation.
Turns out that when the goblins with crossbows arrive, the statue garden turns into a deathtrap.

Yeah, I built a five-z-level wall on the side near my mountain when I built my outdoor park and tree farm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LordSlowpoke on March 13, 2010, 07:15:27 am
Flooding the HFS with water, forgetting about it, coming back to unpump it a few years after and discovering it's full of skeletal carp.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hertzyscowicz on March 13, 2010, 07:53:50 am
Apparently, water wheels don't connect to gears below them. That'll set my artificial waterfall back a few months.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BigD145 on March 13, 2010, 01:36:18 pm
Quote from: Hertzyscowicz on March 13, 2010, 07:53:50 am
Apparently, water wheels don't connect to gears below them. That'll set my artificial waterfall back a few months.

Did you clear a floor tile out under the waterwheel?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hertzyscowicz on March 13, 2010, 03:13:50 pm
Quote from: BigD145 on March 13, 2010, 01:36:18 pm
Quote from: Hertzyscowicz on March 13, 2010, 07:53:50 am
Apparently, water wheels don't connect to gears below them. That'll set my artificial waterfall back a few months.

Did you clear a floor tile out under the waterwheel?
The wheel was built hanging on a horizontal axle, with the gear assembly already built under it's middle tile. I guess it just coupled to the axle and disregarded the gear assembly. Well, I already rearranged things, now to figure out how to get the water all the way up to the WW (which is standing next to the topmost pump of what most certainly isn't a proper pump stack).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kitpup on March 13, 2010, 06:04:46 pm
Quote from: BigD145 on March 12, 2010, 05:13:34 pm
Quote from: Kitpup on March 12, 2010, 08:08:11 am
Just now, irrigating underground farms for the first time. Had it all set up, perfect plots ready for soil, had water already pumped up from the brook for my moat so I just channeled it to where I was going to farm, set up the floodgate then let the water into the farm channels. Pulled the lever. Flooded the farms. And then realized I hadn't built any drainage.

[/facepalm]

Too much water? You should have piped magma in. Magma solves everything.

You know, I've been on a dozen maps and I haven't found even a tile of magma.
And much too much water. I was pumping up with windmills, didn't lay it out very well and didn't consider drainage at ALL. I will not make this mistake again. I will make a completely different mistake :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: immibis on March 13, 2010, 06:21:43 pm
There's an init.txt (or possibly d_init.txt in 40d#) option to make magma features visible in the embark screen. Now you know that, you have no excuse to start without magma (unless you're challenging yourself)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kitpup on March 13, 2010, 06:44:23 pm
Quote from: immibis on March 13, 2010, 06:21:43 pm
There's an init.txt (or possibly d_init.txt in 40d#) option to make magma features visible in the embark screen. Now you know that, you have no excuse to start without magma (unless you're challenging yourself)

My excuse is that I can't find which one :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kaptain_Kabul on March 13, 2010, 07:07:40 pm
Okay here is the most epic facepalm moment i had.

The Scenario: A desert fortress. It had a few pools of water at start, but they dried up in the first year. So any injury a dwarf receives is deadly.And 2 of my champions already died in sparring fights and one because he fell of the stairs for unknown reasons, i suspect he fell over a sleeping watchdog.All died of minor, yellow injuries.

I had builded sleeping rooms 6 z levels beneath and channeled a small pool area there, to fill up, when it eventually starts to rain.
To get an access to the poolwater i builded a well.

7 - z
, ,  ,
, + ,    (empty space, channeled out from 6-z, soon to be filled with water)
, + ,    (empty space, channeled out from 6-z, soon to be filled with water)
, ,  ,

6 - z

+++
+○+       (a well to get direct access)
+  +      (open Space, surrounded with pondzones)
+++


Okay now the clue, i wanted to have a larger stockpile of water and i thought about surrounding  the 6-z refillzone with walls building the whole thing one z level higher.
5 - z

++ +
+   +   (the new filling zone(already zoned)
+○ +     (the new well)
++ + 



Now 2 things happened.

1. A goblin siege (three groups) were singlehanded defeated by one of my champions who was wearing some pants in his right hand. glorious dwarf... killing 18 goblines with pants!
His legend worthy to still be told in a thousand years (maybe without that pants detail). But oh cruel gods.. he got scratched by one of the attackers...

2.It started to rain after 7 years... (now i know how some people in desert countries feel if it starts to rain again)

Clearly a sign from the gods that this hero must be saved.


And yes my dwarfes start to pick up the buckets and collect water.

And after only 2 days of raining it stops again( oh you cruel gods.. i so hoped it was enough to save him.. its only a scratch.. it could be enough)

Okay i looked at my pond at 7-z

7-z
,  , ,
,2/7,
,1/7,
, ,  ,

6-z

+ + +
+○  +  (Well)
+1/7+ (open space actually, but you can see, theres rainwater)
+ + +

5-z

+++
+  +  (open space but because of the well on 6-z you cant see the water)
+○+  (the 2. well on 5z)
+++


Three units of water he will life... its enough!(i thought)

But no water is coming to him.....

oh what was happening.

I see dwaves with buckets running around. But outside is no more water.. nothing.. something is terrible wrong..
I dont even get the message that there is no more water to fill the pond.. but where does the water come from my dwarves throw in at 5-z....


Sadly the explanation was totally logical and hell worth of a facepalm

My dwarves managed to take out the water from the well (good guys).. and then they.... wandered one z level above and threw it into the 5-z refillzone... so they wandered from 6-z taking out the water from the well walking up the stairs throwing it into the same fillingpond one z level above.. and in this process all the three units of water condensated into thin air.

Oh cruel world..
My hero got a nice coffin and many engravings remembering him, sadly no word was ever spoken about the stupid wasting of water.
But now i know how to creat a waterfall with only buckets and enough dwarves.. but it surly doesnt work in the desert.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BigD145 on March 13, 2010, 07:28:37 pm
Quote from: Kitpup on March 13, 2010, 06:44:23 pm
Quote from: immibis on March 13, 2010, 06:21:43 pm
There's an init.txt (or possibly d_init.txt in 40d#) option to make magma features visible in the embark screen. Now you know that, you have no excuse to start without magma (unless you're challenging yourself)

My excuse is that I can't find which one :D

Init with 40d16. Virtual fortress will then tell you exactly where things are.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Innominate on March 13, 2010, 11:17:07 pm
Quote from: Kaptain_Kabul on March 13, 2010, 07:07:40 pm
Okay here is the most epic facepalm moment i had.

The Scenario: A desert fortress. It had a few pools of water at start, but they dried up in the first year. So any injury a dwarf receives is deadly.
Sounds like somebody hasn't heard of the booze bug! If a dwarf is having bedrest but can still move on their own, deconstruct the bed beneath them and forbid all other constructed beds not owned by another dwarf (i.e. any unowned beds and its own bed). The dwarf will then go and get a drink of booze as normal.

Finding out about that bug after losing a champion to thirst is almost certainly worthy of a facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kitpup on March 14, 2010, 02:44:51 am
Quote from: Kitpup on March 13, 2010, 06:44:23 pm
Quote from: immibis on March 13, 2010, 06:21:43 pm
There's an init.txt (or possibly d_init.txt in 40d#) option to make magma features visible in the embark screen. Now you know that, you have no excuse to start without magma (unless you're challenging yourself)

My excuse is that I can't find which one :D

New facepalm, I just ran a search for it. And found it. [/smrt]
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CobaltKobold on March 15, 2010, 01:10:16 am
Quote from: smjjames on March 12, 2010, 11:58:07 am
Quote from: Morgus on March 12, 2010, 11:53:13 am
Make sure they haven't been selected to be moved by a dwarf. That takes them out of selection use until they get dropped off.

Or perhaps forbidden. Still, just keep digging down and you'll hit rock, not that hard.
There's a trick to this, but the game must be paused. Forbid and unforbid the [presumably stockpile-tasked] item, then hit your build job, and it'll be selectable.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kilakan on March 15, 2010, 01:05:53 pm
yaaaa you can make dwarves with injuries get up and drink beer if you remove their beds and all other non-claimed ones.... so you can make that broken arm dwarf get up and drink beer if you remove his bed.....  Knowledge preventing deaths and causing those that do happen all the worse!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on March 16, 2010, 07:29:51 pm
I've got an epic face-palm here.

I figured out the mass dumping/reclaiming commands early on and learned how to make constructions without much trouble, all that.

But I have also:

Learned the hard way that you don't forbid fancy materials until a moody dwarf is FINISHED with his artifact...

Say, hypothetically, you only had two steel bars to begin with, and you want to make sure nobody gets any funny ideas about making the remaining one into a -goblet- or something...  Good idea, but NEVER re-forbid all "steel bars" from the stocks menu unless Urist McWannabe-Legendary-Armorer is DONE--unless, of course, you'd much rather have a "grizzly bear bone backback" than a nice piece of artifact plate.  For some reason, the dwarf involved doesn't go insane; I guess whatever coping mechanism that makes them proud when their life's great work is a freakin' "chestnut scepter" lets them cope.

And of course, hypothetically, it takes about three botched artifacts for you to realize what's happening.

Then there's the stairs.  The accursed constructed stairs.  I've learned that you don't construct up-down stairs on solid earth if there's anything (or anyone) important underneath.  It doesn't matter if  you didn't channel through the ground and it's still completely intact once you deconstruct the X's in raging grief (the Dungeon Master!  Not the DM!  She wasn't a noble; she was actually useful!)--if the stairs are there, the crossbowmen know to shoot down through the z-levels.

(I can only assume that this particular goblin civ has been sending snatchers to Professor X's and managed to gob-nap Kitty Pryde.)


But that stuff's nothing compared to the fact that I only just this week figured out how to add unlisted items to your embark package.  So many forts...  so many forts where I accidentally removed the anvil and thought I couldn't get it back.  So many forts where I wanted to take turtles or fish or whatever and I didn't figure out how to just press the @%#&*^!! "n"!

Face.  Palm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 16, 2010, 07:48:21 pm
Quote from: atomicthumbs on March 12, 2010, 05:15:50 pm
I made an outdoor, walled-in statue garden built into the side of a mountain to cure my dwarves' cave adaptation.
Turns out that when the goblins with crossbows arrive, the statue garden turns into a deathtrap.

Edit:

Also:
(http://i.imgur.com/P8LWl.png)

I hate my clothier now

Why? Was it a posession? If not, the only things I'd miss there are the gems.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kaptain_Kabul on March 16, 2010, 09:49:36 pm
Quote from: kilakan on March 15, 2010, 01:05:53 pm
yaaaa you can make dwarves with injuries get up and drink beer if you remove their beds and all other non-claimed ones.... so you can make that broken arm dwarf get up and drink beer if you remove his bed.....  Knowledge preventing deaths and causing those that do happen all the worse!

Actually i knew about this bug, but i try not to use such things because they are not intended to be used and it would be kind of lame.

Now i can tell my friends..
"Hey i tried to rescue my champion from thirst and created an artifical waterfall with buckets in the desert.. a short living artifical waterfall"
Friend1: " Wow, lol, they took the buckets from the lower floor and threw it back into the pool creating a waterfall, roflmao"
Friend2: "Seems to be a complex game, i should try it,too"

With the Bug using:
"Hey i rescued my champion using a bug in the game and he..
Friend1:" U used a bug.. sounds like cheating"
Friend2:" Bugusing.. thats lame"

You see not using the bug is much more dwarfenly.
But still surprised me that they really used the pondzone and created something incredible stupid."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kilakan on March 16, 2010, 10:44:29 pm
I don't consider it a bug, I consider it forced labor under injured circumstances.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on March 16, 2010, 11:08:13 pm
Quote from: melomel on March 16, 2010, 07:29:51 pm
I've got an epic face-palm here.

I figured out the mass dumping/reclaiming commands early on and learned how to make constructions without much trouble, all that.

But I have also:

Learned the hard way that you don't forbid fancy materials until a moody dwarf is FINISHED with his artifact...

You can theoretically forbid everything being used for the artifact, and have an artifact made of nothing.

mine said it was made of "toad leather". (or was that toad skin? can't remember and it crashed, darn it)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: atomicthumbs on March 17, 2010, 01:04:50 pm
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on March 16, 2010, 07:48:21 pm
Why? Was it a posession? If not, the only things I'd miss there are the gems.

what the hell does one do with a legendary left mitten made of cloth and rock

in a place where it never freezes
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kilakan on March 17, 2010, 04:20:31 pm
Quote from: atomicthumbs on March 17, 2010, 01:04:50 pm
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on March 16, 2010, 07:48:21 pm
Why? Was it a posession? If not, the only things I'd miss there are the gems.

what the hell does one do with a legendary left mitten made of cloth and rock

in a place where it never freezes
First ever oven mit?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on March 17, 2010, 06:02:14 pm
Quote from: atomicthumbs on March 17, 2010, 01:04:50 pm
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on March 16, 2010, 07:48:21 pm
Why? Was it a posession? If not, the only things I'd miss there are the gems.

what the hell does one do with a legendary left mitten made of cloth and rock

in a place where it never freezes

Place it outside, use magma to turn it into a !!legendary left mitten!! and watch what the kobold thieves do.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on March 17, 2010, 06:15:38 pm
Quote from: Kaptain_Kabul on March 16, 2010, 09:49:36 pm
Quote from: kilakan on March 15, 2010, 01:05:53 pm
yaaaa you can make dwarves with injuries get up and drink beer if you remove their beds and all other non-claimed ones.... so you can make that broken arm dwarf get up and drink beer if you remove his bed.....  Knowledge preventing deaths and causing those that do happen all the worse!

Actually i knew about this bug, but i try not to use such things because they are not intended to be used and it would be kind of lame.

Now i can tell my friends..
"Hey i tried to rescue my champion from thirst and created an artifical waterfall with buckets in the desert.. a short living artifical waterfall"
Friend1: " Wow, lol, they took the buckets from the lower floor and threw it back into the pool creating a waterfall, roflmao"
Friend2: "Seems to be a complex game, i should try it,too"

With the Bug using:
"Hey i rescued my champion using a bug in the game and he..
Friend1:" U used a bug.. sounds like cheating"
Friend2:" Bugusing.. thats lame"

You see not using the bug is much more dwarfenly.
But still surprised me that they really used the pondzone and created something incredible stupid."

I don't consider that "bugusing" (AKA exploits), that is a "hackish workaround of a currently existing (negative) bug, that manually accomplishes something your dwarves should have been able to do, given what you had already set up for them".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Akura on March 18, 2010, 03:55:43 pm
Quote from: kilakan on March 17, 2010, 04:20:31 pm
Quote from: atomicthumbs on March 17, 2010, 01:04:50 pm
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on March 16, 2010, 07:48:21 pm
Why? Was it a posession? If not, the only things I'd miss there are the gems.

what the hell does one do with a legendary left mitten made of cloth and rock

in a place where it never freezes
First ever oven mit?
Maybe. They say that's how the first anvil was invented.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on March 20, 2010, 05:26:28 pm
My first (and only one I can remember at the moment) was when I tried to drain a magma vent (before I knew they naturally refilled). So I ordered a couple dwarves to dig out a channel between the vent and a hillside. One of the dwarves got stuck on a chunk of land. "What did he decide to do?", you may ask. Well, he decided to dig out the ground from under his feet. He then fell into the lava and died. It was stupid on my part, because I didn't consider chopping down the trees before designating the area to be channeled out. apparently dwarfs can't channel out a square diagonally adjacent to them if there's a tree in the square horizontally or vertical adjacent to them. (I'll make a diagram later.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: deoxys413 on March 20, 2010, 08:36:41 pm
Where to start... I had one recent fortress upon where I had just flooded out some... Stuff. I ordered some masons to cover the hole/stairwell used to make this possible, the thing is I thought that constructing a floor would only destroy the 'down' part of the 1x1 tile up/down stairway, nupe. The death of these two apparently well known masons sent the entire fortress into a tantrum spiral. I was about 30 casualties into this, confused as to why this started, only to find miasma on the surface coming from the holes I ordered patched... and two mason corpses. -palm-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eater of Vermin on March 21, 2010, 03:05:25 am
Discovering how ramps actually work.

Or, more to the point, discovering that - under certain conditions - a ramp will not support that large multi-level area I'd been mining out with future intent to collapse...

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Legendary_Catsmith on March 21, 2010, 05:33:55 pm
I just had a great one yesterday.  Opened my magma floodgates for a test run, and to fill my moat with magma.
Then subsequently discovered that certain types of mechanisms will melt under the stress of magmafication.  Could not shut magma gate.  Just as I'm scrambling to find a way to enact Operation Emergency Shutoff, one of my critical dorfs gets possessed by a mood and wants turtle shell and two "stone".  What kind of stone is utterly beyond me.

Fun was soon to follow.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on March 21, 2010, 05:41:17 pm
Quote from: Legendary_Catsmith on March 21, 2010, 05:33:55 pm
I just had a great one yesterday.  Opened my magma floodgates for a test run, and to fill my moat with magma.
Then subsequently discovered that certain types of mechanisms will melt under the stress of magmafication.  Could not shut magma gate.  Just as I'm scrambling to find a way to enact Operation Emergency Shutoff, one of my critical dorfs gets possessed by a mood and wants turtle shell and two "stone".  What kind of stone is utterly beyond me.

Fun was soon to follow.

It just means any rock that is closest to them. You should have no problem with that requirement.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on March 22, 2010, 10:43:12 am
Quote from: smjjames on March 21, 2010, 05:41:17 pm
Quote from: Legendary_Catsmith on March 21, 2010, 05:33:55 pm
I just had a great one yesterday.  Opened my magma floodgates for a test run, and to fill my moat with magma.
Then subsequently discovered that certain types of mechanisms will melt under the stress of magmafication.  Could not shut magma gate.  Just as I'm scrambling to find a way to enact Operation Emergency Shutoff, one of my critical dorfs gets possessed by a mood and wants turtle shell and two "stone".  What kind of stone is utterly beyond me.

Fun was soon to follow.

It just means any rock that is closest to them. You should have no problem with that requirement.

I belive you have to combine the two statments here:
Could not shut magma gate.
one of my critical dorfs gets possessed [..]
Indicated by
Fun was soon to follow.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PartyBear on March 22, 2010, 05:38:24 pm
I had a couple of facepalm moments recently involving an immigrant with a female kitten.  I had exactly one cat, a male, and I didn't want any more, so I set about creating a simple pet elimination device like I'd seen here or on the wiki.  Once I finally had the lever and spike built and connected and the doors placed (which involved a mini-facepalm since I used the lever's profile to assign it to the cat owner before getting a mechanic to link it to the spike), I ordered the lever pulled and waited.  And waited.  I finally zoomed to the cat owner and found out that he was a child, so he wouldn't pull the lever.  Facepalm #1. 

I tried assigning the lever to his mom, but apparently immigrant kids don't follow mom around like fortress-born kids do.  I ended up tearing down the pet killer and began planning Operation: Kill That Kid's Cat.  I came up with the idea to build a whole bunch of walls in a room at the end of a corridor with a pet-impassible door in it, with a side path where I could trap the cat in a room with a spike.  I figured if I started a massive dumping project, all the adults would be too busy to take down walls, so only kids and nobles would enter the corridor.  It was a hassle, but the kitten had matured and was probably already pregnant, so the clock was ticking.

When the lever was hooked up to the spike, I used the stock screen to mark all alunite for dumping, then designated the constructed walls for removal.  Half of them lit up, and I zoomed to the cat owner again to see if he was coming.  I zoomed to a peasant.  The little jerk had grown up while I was setting everything up, and I hadn't paid enough attention to notice!  Facepalm#2.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: !!Zombie Carp!! on March 23, 2010, 03:21:43 am
Just read the entire thread.

"Here is a prone maniacally giggling !!Zombie Carp!! in a pool of tears."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: XSI on March 23, 2010, 04:18:39 am
Had another facepalm just a few minutes ago.

Adventure mode, trying to find my way down after traveling all over a mountain range(No fast travel) I find a waterfall in a brook, and it is a series of small 1-2 z level drops spread out over a long trip down. Knowing how dwarves just completely shrug off such drops in fortress mode, I figured I'd go through there to get down a bit easier, and to grab a drink since my waterskin was empty.

First drop, 2z levels. Broke an arm, bruised several other parts. My sword drops but I just pick it up again. No worries, the arm will just heal.
Second drop, 1z level. By now I'm surrounded by 3z high cliffs, so no going back now. The second drop breaks both my legs, so I'll have to crawl.
Third drop, another 1z. Bruised spine, otherwise no problems.
Fourth drop, 2z, broke my hand on the not yet broken arm, drop my shield and pass out from the pain for a while.
From there on it seemed to be fine, by then the mountain around me became a bit lower, so I could see 4z high cliffs to both sides, can't go back, so I go forward.

Looking ahead, I see the brook is getting another waterfall, and hope I can survive it.

It's a 6 z level drop.

All because I wanted to drink from the brook, and then I noticed that I had armours with loads of water coverings I could drink, as it had been raining just before I jumped in. Facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nakanja on March 23, 2010, 11:08:42 am
Some dwarves were complaining about the well going dry, so I opened the floodgates to let some more water into the tank from the brook.  Then I went to bed, and in next morning I had forgotten I left the water on.  The well was on the same line as the waterfall generator for the dining room, which was turning from a pleasant mist into a dwarf aquarium.  So I sent a miner to punch a hole in the water tank to drain it a bit.  I was expecting it to just leak out and the miner could leave before the tunnel filled up, but instead I got a rushing torrent that submerged the miner before he could take a step.  Luckily the impact washed the miner down the tunnel past an open floodgate, so I could seal it without trapping the miner inside.  Amazingly no one died from that, but it left me with a muddy mess in the dining room and water-filled storage yards.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on March 23, 2010, 01:26:27 pm
Just had a legitimate semi-facepalm. My usual method of setting up my fortress is centered on a 3xN hallway, with everything else sprouting off of that, workshop spaces, housing, dining hall, everything, and with each z-level connected by an up/down stairway set in the walls of the halls. This has been somewhat problematic for me, as it meant I had to set the working/living spaces around the stairways, so as to make it easier to lock mad/undesirable dwarfs in their workshops/rooms. I just now realized, I could dig stairways in the middle of the hallways! Caravans will never go there, dwarves and animals can path through them easily enough, and I can build workshops and bedrooms wherever I like and damn the staircases.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McOverlord on March 23, 2010, 02:19:35 pm
Facepalm waiting to happen:

Problem: wounded dorfs needed water.
Solution: open a floodgate so that water can fall from the brook, into a cistern.
Problem: pressurized water flowing out of the well.
Solution: close the floodgate:
Problem: the lever for the floodgate is right next to the well. The well is overflowing...
Solution: pray... hey, it worked! Only a little bit around the well flooded, not enough to cause problems with pathing.
Problem: the cistern is very small...

Fun!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on March 23, 2010, 04:58:14 pm
Quote from: Urist McOverlord on March 23, 2010, 02:19:35 pm
Facepalm waiting to happen:

Problem: wounded dorfs needed water.
Solution: open a floodgate so that water can fall from the brook, into a cistern.
Problem: pressurized water flowing out of the well.
Solution: close the floodgate:
Problem: the lever for the floodgate is right next to the well. The well is overflowing...
Solution: pray... hey, it worked! Only a little bit around the well flooded, not enough to cause problems with pathing.
Problem: the cistern is very small...

Fun!
Solution to all the above: Well fed by depressurized water from river/brook. My biggest problem with that system is routing the water that far down. I only have a floodgate attached to that system so I can clean it all out when I need to, especially when the river in question is underground and towercaps grow in the plumbing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on March 23, 2010, 06:01:41 pm
Quote from: darthbob88 on March 23, 2010, 04:58:14 pm
towercaps grow in the plumbing.
Tower caps won't grow on roads. You can (h)ide the roads afterwards if you want to see the flow levels.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on March 23, 2010, 11:57:34 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on March 23, 2010, 06:01:41 pm
Quote from: darthbob88 on March 23, 2010, 04:58:14 pm
towercaps grow in the plumbing.
Tower caps won't grow on roads. You can (h)ide the roads afterwards if you want to see the flow levels.

Hmm... better ask this before I tap my underground river and it's too late...

Smoothing also prevents tower caps, right?  I've smoothed all the pipes for my upcoming waterworks, but I don't have actual roads down.  Should I go dismantle all my floodgates and lay down roads through all my channels to prevent tower cap blockages?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Blargityblarg on March 24, 2010, 01:30:49 am
I don't believe that smoothing will prevent tower-caps. Engraving certainly doesn't, as evidenced by the 'a *engraver* has been defaced by the impertinent vegetation' or whatever-it-is announcement.

Apparently, empty stockpiles will also prevent towercaps, if you feel like not pulling down your floodgates, and don't mind a fairly minor exploit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on March 24, 2010, 05:50:41 am
It's annoying to have to wait for my mechanics to get off their duffs to travel from the control room all the way across the fortress to the floodgates, only to go on break when installing the mechanisms in the control room lever, forcing someone to go collect the previous mechanism to go do it all over again, but for the sake of a "neat" fortress, it's not that big a deal.

Anyway, fortunately, that saves me from a future facepalm entry again.  (And this information really should be on the wiki entry for tower caps...)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on March 24, 2010, 11:38:09 am
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on March 24, 2010, 05:50:41 am
It's annoying to have to wait for my mechanics to get off their duffs to travel from the control room all the way across the fortress to the floodgates, only to go on break when installing the mechanisms in the control room lever, forcing someone to go collect the previous mechanism to go do it all over again, but for the sake of a "neat" fortress, it's not that big a deal.

Anyway, fortunately, that saves me from a future facepalm entry again.  (And this information really should be on the wiki entry for tower caps...)

temporary stockpile of mechanisms near the floodgate. it's the best solution.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on March 24, 2010, 01:08:57 pm
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on March 23, 2010, 11:57:34 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on March 23, 2010, 06:01:41 pm
Quote from: darthbob88 on March 23, 2010, 04:58:14 pm
towercaps grow in the plumbing.
Tower caps won't grow on roads. You can (h)ide the roads afterwards if you want to see the flow levels.

Hmm... better ask this before I tap my underground river and it's too late...

Smoothing also prevents tower caps, right?  I've smoothed all the pipes for my upcoming waterworks, but I don't have actual roads down.  Should I go dismantle all my floodgates and lay down roads through all my channels to prevent tower cap blockages?
I don't believe smoothed flooring will do the job, though it usually cleans up mud IIRC. Personally, I like having TCs grow in the plumbing; means extra TC farming space, after all. I'd already planned to put cage traps in the plumbing for catching foo-men, cave crocs, and whatever other animals invaded my plumbing, so being able to clean up tower caps is a handy bonus.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on March 24, 2010, 01:27:58 pm
Quote from: darthbob88 on March 24, 2010, 01:08:57 pm
I don't believe smoothed flooring will do the job, though it usually cleans up mud IIRC. Personally, I like having TCs grow in the plumbing; means extra TC farming space, after all. I'd already planned to put cage traps in the plumbing for catching foo-men, cave crocs, and whatever other animals invaded my plumbing, so being able to clean up tower caps is a handy bonus.

And what if it blocks a flood of water in a place I don't want it, or keeps a floodgate open, requiring I send a dwarf down to chop down a towercap, only to certainly drown in the onrush of water?

I don't do sacrificial pawns in my games.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hungry on March 24, 2010, 01:51:29 pm
do more floodgates then...or get over your strange attachment to dwarven life.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kg333 on March 24, 2010, 02:35:47 pm
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on March 24, 2010, 01:27:58 pm
I don't do sacrificial pawns in my games.

Considering your avatar states "I'll kill your family," I find this oddly ironic.   ;D

KG
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kav on March 24, 2010, 03:15:56 pm
Quote from: kg333 on March 24, 2010, 02:35:47 pm
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on March 24, 2010, 01:27:58 pm
I don't do sacrificial pawns in my games.
Considering your avatar states "I'll kill your family," I find this oddly ironic.   ;D

I saw someone with that same avatar in teamfortress2 the other day too. What is it from?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on March 24, 2010, 05:51:34 pm
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on March 24, 2010, 01:27:58 pm
Quote from: darthbob88 on March 24, 2010, 01:08:57 pm
I don't believe smoothed flooring will do the job, though it usually cleans up mud IIRC. Personally, I like having TCs grow in the plumbing; means extra TC farming space, after all. I'd already planned to put cage traps in the plumbing for catching foo-men, cave crocs, and whatever other animals invaded my plumbing, so being able to clean up tower caps is a handy bonus.

And what if it blocks a flood of water in a place I don't want it, or keeps a floodgate open, requiring I send a dwarf down to chop down a towercap, only to certainly drown in the onrush of water?

I don't do sacrificial pawns in my games.
The floodgate I'd forgotten about, but if it blocks the plumbing anywhere else, I close the floodgate(s) at the river, drain the system entirely, and send a dwarf with an axe to cut it down. With the floodgates closed, the flood is unpressurized, I think, and less of a danger to my dwarf. I also don't hold with sacrificing minions to solve problems.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on March 24, 2010, 07:01:25 pm
Quote from: kg333 on March 24, 2010, 02:35:47 pm
Considering your avatar states "I'll kill your family," I find this oddly ironic.   ;D

KG

Yes, but I'll spare my family. (And so did Kohaku herself.)...   and I'll spare my dwarves, too. What's so hard to understand about that?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 25, 2010, 11:12:39 am
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on March 24, 2010, 07:01:25 pm
Quote from: kg333 on March 24, 2010, 02:35:47 pm
Considering your avatar states "I'll kill your family," I find this oddly ironic.   ;D

KG

Yes, but I'll spare my family. (And so did Kohaku herself.)...   and I'll spare my dwarves, too. What's so hard to understand about that?

AHEM...

"It's not sadistic torture, it's SCIENCE!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NW_Kohaku on March 25, 2010, 11:19:57 am
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on March 25, 2010, 11:12:39 am
AHEM...

"It's not sadistic torture, it's SCIENCE!"

SCIENCE is fun for the whole family! Your point?

Even my experimental hot lab forts are fairly nice and well defended.  And all the injuries healed, even if someone's pet cat DID get cryo-boiled by some exploding experiments. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on March 25, 2010, 08:55:52 pm
Quote from: Flaede on March 16, 2010, 11:08:13 pm
Quote from: melomel on March 16, 2010, 07:29:51 pm
I've got an epic face-palm here.

I figured out the mass dumping/reclaiming commands early on and learned how to make constructions without much trouble, all that.

But I have also:

Learned the hard way that you don't forbid fancy materials until a moody dwarf is FINISHED with his artifact...

You can theoretically forbid everything being used for the artifact, and have an artifact made of nothing.

mine said it was made of "toad leather". (or was that toad skin? can't remember and it crashed, darn it)

I think the results are wonky when you forbid the core material of the artifact.  (It was def. an armorer that made a backpack out of bones, and I'm 90% sure those bones weren't from anywhere on the map.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on March 26, 2010, 01:41:58 am
I think it's been stated that toad bones actually come first in the numbering of items, so if you don't have a material, that's what it defaults to.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Firemen In My Smelter on March 26, 2010, 02:56:27 am
Well today I put 10 floor grates in a line to cover a mistakenly built magma channel. Later on I decided to remove the grates. The dwarves did what they were told and scurried to the work floor removing the grates one by one whilst standing on top of them over the magma. I was looking at the z-level below the grates, where the magma was. Dwarves began to appear in the magma, not good. The end result was 4 dead dwarves.

I also for some reason hadn't believed they were falling in the magma for a few moments. If I was thinking I could have saved a dwarf or two
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: warlordzephyr on March 26, 2010, 07:24:02 am
Quote from: darthbob88 on March 24, 2010, 01:08:57 pm
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on March 23, 2010, 11:57:34 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on March 23, 2010, 06:01:41 pm
Quote from: darthbob88 on March 23, 2010, 04:58:14 pm
towercaps grow in the plumbing.
Tower caps won't grow on roads. You can (h)ide the roads afterwards if you want to see the flow levels.

Hmm... better ask this before I tap my underground river and it's too late...

Smoothing also prevents tower caps, right?  I've smoothed all the pipes for my upcoming waterworks, but I don't have actual roads down.  Should I go dismantle all my floodgates and lay down roads through all my channels to prevent tower cap blockages?
I don't believe smoothed flooring will do the job, though it usually cleans up mud IIRC. Personally, I like having TCs grow in the plumbing; means extra TC farming space, after all. I'd already planned to put cage traps in the plumbing for catching foo-men, cave crocs, and whatever other animals invaded my plumbing, so being able to clean up tower caps is a handy bonus.

Hold on, plumbing can be blocked by tower caps growing??!?!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on March 26, 2010, 10:21:13 am
Quote from: warlordzephyr on March 26, 2010, 07:24:02 am
Quote from: darthbob88 on March 24, 2010, 01:08:57 pm
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on March 23, 2010, 11:57:34 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on March 23, 2010, 06:01:41 pm
Quote from: darthbob88 on March 23, 2010, 04:58:14 pm
towercaps grow in the plumbing.
Tower caps won't grow on roads. You can (h)ide the roads afterwards if you want to see the flow levels.

Hmm... better ask this before I tap my underground river and it's too late...

Smoothing also prevents tower caps, right?  I've smoothed all the pipes for my upcoming waterworks, but I don't have actual roads down.  Should I go dismantle all my floodgates and lay down roads through all my channels to prevent tower cap blockages?
I don't believe smoothed flooring will do the job, though it usually cleans up mud IIRC. Personally, I like having TCs grow in the plumbing; means extra TC farming space, after all. I'd already planned to put cage traps in the plumbing for catching foo-men, cave crocs, and whatever other animals invaded my plumbing, so being able to clean up tower caps is a handy bonus.

Hold on, plumbing can be blocked by tower caps growing??!?!
Yeah. Tower caps can and will grow in any subterranean mud, including plumbing. They'll grow up as saplings and only jump immediately to full-grown tree when their space is emptied, such as when the water reservoir in my obsidian farm empties and the water level drops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SquidgyB on March 26, 2010, 12:06:01 pm
Quote from: darthbob88 on March 26, 2010, 10:21:13 am
Quote from: warlordzephyr on March 26, 2010, 07:24:02 am
Quote from: darthbob88 on March 24, 2010, 01:08:57 pm
Quote from: NW_Kohaku on March 23, 2010, 11:57:34 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on March 23, 2010, 06:01:41 pm
Quote from: darthbob88 on March 23, 2010, 04:58:14 pm
towercaps grow in the plumbing.
Tower caps won't grow on roads. You can (h)ide the roads afterwards if you want to see the flow levels.

Hmm... better ask this before I tap my underground river and it's too late...

Smoothing also prevents tower caps, right?  I've smoothed all the pipes for my upcoming waterworks, but I don't have actual roads down.  Should I go dismantle all my floodgates and lay down roads through all my channels to prevent tower cap blockages?
I don't believe smoothed flooring will do the job, though it usually cleans up mud IIRC. Personally, I like having TCs grow in the plumbing; means extra TC farming space, after all. I'd already planned to put cage traps in the plumbing for catching foo-men, cave crocs, and whatever other animals invaded my plumbing, so being able to clean up tower caps is a handy bonus.

Hold on, plumbing can be blocked by tower caps growing??!?!
Yeah. Tower caps can and will grow in any subterranean mud, including plumbing. They'll grow up as saplings and only jump immediately to full-grown tree when their space is emptied, such as when the water reservoir in my obsidian farm empties and the water level drops.

e: Oops... managed to write what I wanted into the quote there :P

I always dig my aqueducts using either ramps or channels for a 2 z-level tunnel for precisely this reason ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McOverlord on March 26, 2010, 01:41:45 pm
But only if you have discovered an underground water source. Otherwise, you won't get them. Ever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on March 26, 2010, 02:01:33 pm
Had a big one just now, I forgot to bring ANY drinks at all, and I'm in a desert. Gah. I realized it when one of my dwarves started flashing the blue arrow. I can salvage the situation by regenning this world.

Edit: Or I could have just slapped on no_drink until I had booze, but meh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: warlordzephyr on March 26, 2010, 05:28:01 pm
Quote from: smjjames on March 26, 2010, 02:01:33 pm
Had a big one just now, I forgot to bring ANY drinks at all, and I'm in a desert. Gah. I realized it when one of my dwarves started flashing the blue arrow. I can salvage the situation by regenning this world.

Edit: Or I could have just slapped on no_drink until I had booze, but meh.

See the "what is cheating?" thread :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mythos on March 26, 2010, 08:46:21 pm
I just had one. I spent a bunch of time making a magma execution chamber, complete with a long hallway leading up to it, all smoothed and engraved by my legendary engravers. It had four bauxite masterwork statues in the four corners. It was magnificent... oh, then when I activated it I realized I had no way to close the magma access from the outside. Well, that was a waste of time... now it's just a sealed room filled with magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: immibis on March 26, 2010, 09:13:01 pm
Quote from: Mythos on March 26, 2010, 08:46:21 pm
I just had one. I spent a bunch of time making a magma execution chamber, complete with a long hallway leading up to it, all smoothed and engraved by my legendary engravers. It had four bauxite masterwork statues in the four corners. It was magnificent... oh, then when I activated it I realized I had no way to close the magma access from the outside. Well, that was a waste of time... now it's just a sealed room filled with magma.
Pump the magma out from before the floodgate, wait until the magma level is 1/7, wait until it evaporates, then link the floodgate to a lever outside, pull the lever, remove the pump. Preferably with an obsidian wall between the pump and the magma source blocking the inflow of magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on March 26, 2010, 10:05:59 pm
Quote from: warlordzephyr on March 26, 2010, 05:28:01 pm
Quote from: smjjames on March 26, 2010, 02:01:33 pm
Had a big one just now, I forgot to bring ANY drinks at all, and I'm in a desert. Gah. I realized it when one of my dwarves started flashing the blue arrow. I can salvage the situation by regenning this world.

Edit: Or I could have just slapped on no_drink until I had booze, but meh.

See the "what is cheating?" thread :P

I said meh because I had deleted the file that had the botched up embark.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Alkyon on March 27, 2010, 07:42:13 pm
I create an anti-goblin device involving a massive magma cistern over my entrance.  The path goes over Iron grates surrounded by Coke roads and drains into the pit that an underground river drains off into.  I see a trade caravan being followed by goblins, so I get ready to test it...and set the damned thing just a bit off too early.

Results: 
-Caravan go boom! (was full of booze I ordered)
-Goblins and caravan are burned away, so leaving only valuable meltable items behind.  (This was before I learned about mass-melt/mass-dump)
-I learned that constructions made of coal can be made to ignite, creating awesome smoking, burning constructions.
-I also learned that magma does not travel horizontally very quickly, and my rather long drainage tunnel quickly backs up, flooding the entrance to my fortress with magma.

Results 1 and 4 were the facepalms.
Result 2 was the nifty result I was going for.
Results 1 and 3 where awesome.  Result 3 was so awesome that I have created several fortresses in an effort to recreate that result, and I'm still trying to figure it out.  I know it can be done, but not how.  My current hypothesis is that while constructions are temperature proof, they are not fireproof.  Therefore, while you can use coal/charcoal/coke to store magma, if you use magma to set a flammable object (shirt, boot, elf) on fire while it's on a coal floor tile, the fire will spread.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shade-o on March 27, 2010, 08:12:28 pm
Hmm, no fortress or royal guards. Well, better fix that...

Not two seconds later:

Kel Etostamost, Guard has suffocated.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: vyznev on March 28, 2010, 03:18:14 pm
Quote from: Alkyon on March 27, 2010, 07:42:13 pm
My current hypothesis is that while constructions are temperature proof, they are not fireproof.  Therefore, while you can use coal/charcoal/coke to store magma, if you use magma to set a flammable object (shirt, boot, elf) on fire while it's on a coal floor tile, the fire will spread.

I suspect that's indeed the case.  I've built magma pumps with wooden pipe sections and corkscrews and had them last for years with no apparent degradation, but in one fortress (http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=51186.msg1092215#msg1092215) I had a dwarf die of thirst while operating the pump (a face palm moment in itself).  Some time later, the pile of clothes left on the pump tile apparently caught fire and burned down the pump as well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jopax on March 29, 2010, 05:11:14 pm
It happened to me again, it was my first DigDwarfier fort and it was doing somewhat nicely, i was digging out a large room that would probably be either a workshop area or a dining room, then i stumble upon an UG river, and before seailing it off an Olmman goes in, a drafted miner kills it, then they start pouring in, kill a cat, injure a dwarf, send another one into tantruming, i draft another one, he dies, they rush in to get the remains and two more die to the crocodile, at this point i am left with a farmer, miner, woodcutter and a carpenter.I say fuck this and abandon, this time i dig carefully, who needs minerals if you can stay alive :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on March 30, 2010, 11:03:49 am
Quote from: Jopax on March 29, 2010, 05:11:14 pm
who needs minerals if you can stay alive :D
Who need living people if you can find booze?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nervousmigrants on March 30, 2010, 08:46:00 pm
Well, my 20 z-level pump stack that I built without walls in order to have a huge fountain, predictably, flooded the banks of my river.  Since I'm on an aquifer (and they make SCARY amounts of water), the river stayed full and the pump stack kept pumping...  Then the water it pumped overflowed what I anticipated and the currents starting carrying random dwarves who were outside for a variety of tasks to their deaths.  *facepalm*

Fortunately, I anticipated this possibility and left a lever that could shut the system down.  It was blocked by 6/7 water.  *facepalm*

Finally, someone pathed right and got there and pulled the lever.  It dropped 60 tiles of 7/7 straight into the river, which had a pipe going straight into my fortress so my dwarves wouldn't have to go to the river and die of carp attack.  Well, it flooded and my fortress began to get wet.  *facepalm*

Fortunately, I had a reservoir for exactly this situation!  I pulled the appropriate levers and pathed the water into my reservoir.  Where, forgetfully, I had stored all my finished goods which were subsequently washed all over the place.  *facepalm*

So I tried to get the dorfs to release the water in the reservoir, but they never got around to the lever-work that would make that happen...  *facepalm*

So I deconstructed a wall piece.  This went badly, as it flowed down through a Open Space I didn't know was there, straight into my fortress.  *facepalm*

And that's my FP story.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bentusi16 on March 31, 2010, 12:08:39 am
I spent a lot of time building and designing a massive aqueduct system that would lead into my fortress. It involves three screw pumps. One leads to an initial pond on the outside for use when their are no sieges, the second leads to a walled/roofed off area on the top level of my fort, the third to back to the river source. It literally takes 30 minutes to construct just the walls. I forget to be careful about the order I build the windmills that will power the pumps in, and the first one ends up dumping an incredible amount of water into the outside pond, which floods. I order it deconstructed, and the carpenter tries to walk OVER the hidden lake, falls in, and drowns. He was a legendary woodcutter.

I fix that problem, and am pumping water into the inner reserve and out again (in an attempt to keep it flowing and prevent flooding). It floods. Everywhere. If i hadn't built a door I would've lost my fortress. I add another screw pump to pump out more water. It still floods. I finally get fed up and order the deconstruction of the whole shebang. While it's being deconstructed, a child is crushed by a floor piece that fell from the upper level. Mother goes insane, etc. etc. Fun. Luckily the stains were washed away by the flooding water which rushed through the fort since no one had disabled the first pump.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sphalerite on March 31, 2010, 07:38:41 am
Yesterday's facepalm:

When you remove a dwarf from the military, he will immediately drop the weapons and armor he is carrying wherever he happens to be standing at the time.  Even if he's standing on the beach among crashing waves.  That dropped armor, crossbow, and stack of bolts will then generate constant job canceled messages as it is pushed around by waves for years.  Note to self:  in the future, move your temporarily drafted military to the armor/weapons stockpile, then remove them from the military.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Coronel_Niel on March 31, 2010, 02:14:18 pm
(http://img691.imageshack.us/img691/5441/66173859.jpg)

Building lots and lots of huge moats into my fort when it spews out. Thank god my fort has walls.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ulys on March 31, 2010, 03:20:01 pm
My underground tower was dug out, so I wanted to start the real deal above ground.
There was some floor left from when I dug out the 1z level hill so I decided to be clever and to let it cave in to go faster.
Over the tower.
With all my dwarves inside.
The cave in punched through all the layers of the underground tower.

6 dead, 1 survivor, the mason who was outside building the trade tower.

I think I'm not experienced enough to play with cave in.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dendou on March 31, 2010, 04:18:42 pm
a typical 5 seconds on dwarf fortress:

Urist Mcpeasant has died from the heat!
"wait, there's a fire?"
"oh, there is a fire."
"Oh God, everything's on fire!"

edit-found the cause of my fire.  I had freed my statue garden to stop a party but forgot to reset it.  So my dwarves decided to use the mouth of my magma pit as a meeting place instead.  Then the fire imps came out screaming, "Get off mah lawn, yah filthy dwarves".  And, yeah
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BigD145 on March 31, 2010, 04:29:15 pm
Quote from: Ulys on March 31, 2010, 03:20:01 pm
My underground tower was dug out, so I wanted to start the real deal above ground.
There was some floor left from when I dug out the 1z level hill so I decided to be clever and to let it cave in to go faster.
Over the tower.
With all my dwarves inside.
The cave in punched through all the layers of the underground tower.

6 dead, 1 survivor, the mason who was outside building the trade tower.

I think I'm not experienced enough to play with cave in.

The Expedition Leader is dead. Long live the Expedition Leader.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sphalerite on March 31, 2010, 06:27:36 pm
Today's facepalm:

Building an elaborate system to capture some of the unicorns roaming the map for the purpose of building an automated unicorn breeding system to give my dwarves an unending supply of unicorn meat and fat ... then realizing that unicorns don't give birth.  I'm considering modding them to do so anyway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SquidgyB on April 01, 2010, 02:12:23 am
Quote from: Ulys on March 31, 2010, 03:20:01 pm
I think I'm not experienced enough to play with cave in.

I believe most dwarven science is understood by accident :)

I just had a beautiful moment, not exactly a facepalm though:

A bunch of migrants arrive on a map with an open magma pipe.

"Some migrants have arrived!"

"Kitty McKitten has died in the heat"

Wooooohoooo!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: immibis on April 01, 2010, 03:06:59 am
This is the drain from my meeting area.
(http://imagebin.ca/img/Hp1ViU7.png)
Mist machine fail.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ulys on April 01, 2010, 03:47:51 am
Quote from: SquidgyB on April 01, 2010, 02:12:23 am
Quote from: Ulys on March 31, 2010, 03:20:01 pm
I think I'm not experienced enough to play with cave in.

I believe most dwarven science is understood by accident :)


The worst part is that I waited for them to be underground because I didn't want them to get hurt.
But I knew it. Sometimes I do strange things without really thinking.

Like when I deconstructed the door to the aquifer to build a floodgate.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SquidgyB on April 01, 2010, 06:34:27 am
Aye, I had a similar moment - dwarfs set to [SPEED=1] for megaconstruction work.

Single pump built on top of a magma pipe surrounded by walls to control the flow. I thought the pump was "on", just no one was pumping, and I needed to take down the walls on the exit end of the pump.

I "d-n"'s the wall, "q-enter"'d the pump, and watched as two dwarfs ran up to the construction at hyperspeed, one to man the pump, the other to take down the wall...

"Urist McMason has died in the heat"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kza on April 02, 2010, 12:35:03 am
I started a new fort with everything I could want-- a brook, an underwater river, a magma pipe, flux.

The pipe opened above ground where the imps could run free, without any form of cover what so ever to hold them in. I died literally in a few minutes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Steelgeek on April 02, 2010, 11:49:45 am
Using DigDwarfier.
Day one - Feral gnomes scatter my dwarves and drink ALL the booze.
On day one.
No booze.

Yeahhhhh, pretty much went the way you expected.
Broke my own record for fastest Fun, induced by environment, sans everyone dying.
What you don't have your Fun categorized and recorded?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SmileyMan on April 02, 2010, 01:16:00 pm
Went to arena mode, carefully created a human swordsman, with armour, skills, etc.  Took a couple of minutes over it.  Then went back and realised that the cursor was over the magma......
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Diablous on April 02, 2010, 01:25:59 pm
Quote from: SmileyMan on April 02, 2010, 01:16:00 pm
Went to arena mode, carefully created a human swordsman, with armour, skills, etc.  Took a couple of minutes over it.  Then went back and realised that the cursor was over the magma......
When you go to make another one, your choices should still be there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sabre of Pain on April 02, 2010, 04:26:36 pm
built a massive, roofless, multi Z level (was on a steep mountainside), out of fortress wall, only to discover there was a hungry giant eagle, which then came down and ate my dwarves.

harvested about 1200 fish not realizing they couldn't be prepared in the kitchen and abandoning the fort after much confusion as to why my dwarves were starving.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AzureShadow on April 02, 2010, 05:54:36 pm
Constructed an absolutely massive mining operation to find metal, and after completely digging through 3 full z-levels of mountain, found out that even with all the metal and bituminous coal in the world, I couldn't do anything without one piece of fuel to start off with.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xtank5 on April 02, 2010, 05:56:15 pm
If you had wood and a wood furnace, you could make charcoal.  Then you just go from there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on April 02, 2010, 09:23:09 pm
My first fort with the new version. I had a three lightly armoured swordsdwarves exploring a cavern, when they ran into seven batfolk. Noting the wooden weapons that the bats were armed with, i decided to attack.

I forgot that blowdarts can be poisoned now.

The result? Two dwarves dead, no batmen dead.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kipi on April 02, 2010, 10:22:18 pm
I had one worthy to post here, though I already mentioned in http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=47809.150 (http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=47809.150):

I had only one miner, and I had two copper bars from embark. I wanted to speed up mining a bit, so I ordered construction of two axes.
Made two idle dwarves miners, and wondered why nothing happened. Realized my mistake only when I posted the question in the forum above, and was told that miners use picks, not axes.

I felt like I should have couple big facepalm at that moment....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AshrothTheBrave on April 03, 2010, 10:50:07 am
(http://usera.ImageCave.com/Dark_lore/2.png.jpg)
"What do ya mean, damp stone dete- blu blu"
That place woulda' provided me plenty of wood. Now it's spewing water into the neighbouring cave.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PeterTheEvilBastard on April 03, 2010, 05:51:17 pm
First fort. Dug into a cavern. GCS raep. Nuff said.
 Next time, I treat the underground as "deadly and forbidden untill proven otherwise. Or flooded with magma."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on April 03, 2010, 10:45:26 pm
Flooded with magma won't make it safe.  It will just reduce the populations that are actually safe to deal with.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sarstan on April 04, 2010, 05:19:51 am
Digging out your irrigation system, have it all nice and ready to go.
Then you dig out the last square and watch the water move in, only then realizing that you forgot to put a lever on the door to stop the flow.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PeterTheEvilBastard on April 04, 2010, 07:34:31 am
Quote from: Rockphed on April 03, 2010, 10:45:26 pm
Flooded with magma won't make it safe.  It will just reduce the populations that are actually safe to deal with.
By the GODS I love this game!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thexor on April 04, 2010, 03:44:57 pm
Quote from: PeterTheEvilBastard on April 03, 2010, 05:51:17 pm
First fort. Dug into a cavern. GCS raep. Nuff said.
 Next time, I treat the underground as "deadly and forbidden untill proven otherwise. Or flooded with magma."

First fort. Dug into cavern. Floor is covered in GCS webs.
I have never re-walled that fast in my entire DF career.

...do GCS have the 'building destroyer' tag?  :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BadgerSensei on April 04, 2010, 04:34:59 pm
Early fortress, didn't realize that DF water generally behaves like real water. I dug a Fort on the bottom level of a canyon, dug a well and hooked the well to a river that ran about six Z-levels up, and made a lake out of my canyon.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Alfador on April 04, 2010, 06:42:02 pm
Arena mode, built a highly skilled fox to fight a kobold... without realizing the kobold also had those skill presets. Result: One strangled fox.

Tried again with higher-skilled foxes, eventually armored in an adamantine breastplate... results: three more strangled foxes.

Eventually realized I can copy multiple creatures and have them all on the same side. Result: Six heavily armored foxes and one bloody pile of kobold.

Decided to see if this kind of zerg rush would work on bigger creatures. Result: 49 foxes variously torn to pieces, incinerated, or thrown against the wall to splatter, one dragon with a dented eye, and one fox that somehow survived being hurled across the canal to where the dragon didn't want to path over to it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Josiwe on April 04, 2010, 07:23:24 pm
In my first real game - I had a few short lived practice games but only discovered DF about 3 weeks ago - I made it to year 6 with only one justice violation, and that was due to not having an anvil when my first mandate appeared.

Sadly, as the human caravan was leaving, my tax collector issued a mandate forbidding the export of bins. 4 dead, 8 jailed.

I think it's time for this bin loving pervert to have an accident.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rotten on April 04, 2010, 07:24:43 pm
When I realized that frequent saving is *probably* a good idea on a buggy release.

Well, inleast the new embark site has better caverns.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: firecrystal on April 05, 2010, 01:42:51 am
I have just finished dragging out the dwarf chunks from my fortress after my first goblin ambush quickly dispatched my woefully underarmored, understaffed and undertrained military force (all three of them) and got into my fortress, slaughtering dozens of dwarves, because a side door to the fort was held open with a rock. I now have about ten dwarves, but only because migrants came in to help me clean up. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Psithief on April 05, 2010, 05:01:27 am
I just realised that to equip my military, my arsenal dwarf must NOT be in the military, because being in the military prevents the dwarf from doing civilian jobs!!!

When your Arsenal Dwarf is "Preparing Equipment Manifests", you're doing it right.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheDancinZerg on April 05, 2010, 05:51:04 am
I just realized that rhesus macaques will steal stuff that is not being watched.  This is significant because I made all of my dwarfs mine out my base, they stole my axe, i have no wood... No beds... Game over man game over.

And now, Urist McMiner cancels channel, interrupted by giant cave spider.... When you thought bad couldn't go to worse...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on April 05, 2010, 10:38:02 am
I tried to dam a river using the old drain method (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/40d:Dam); built a bridge to block the river, dug out the fortifications, dug out the ramps to let the river in, pulled the lever to raise the bridge. At this point I realized I did not have a raising bridge, which would stop the waterflow, I had a retracting bridge which did not a dam(n) thing. I've done this often enough I should know better.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: atomicthumbs on April 05, 2010, 10:15:56 pm
forgot to build doors around my legendary miner, who couldn't get the stuff he needed for a mood.

now I've had a total of six berserk dwarves, and they're all dehydrated and starving because one of them is choking a farmer to death in the entrance of my fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: returntonull on April 06, 2010, 12:46:42 am
Logistics error, resulted in my well not being done as winter hit, and the river froze. I'd just run out of booze, and thus I got to watch all 18 dwarves die of thirst.

On reclaim, I found the mechanisms I'd set up in hopes that spring would hit before they all died had delinked and I now had a well based geyser instead of drinking water.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kyronea on April 06, 2010, 02:18:55 am
So I was trying to figure out why there was a sea of magma at every single site, until I finally realized it's supposed to be the mantle.

You'd think that'd be my first thought...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TigerPlushie on April 06, 2010, 06:16:56 am
I had moderately well preparations for my first siege. A squad of five moderately trained swordsmen in nice armor (all iron... except for the hood, which was a bad idea in itself... and the lack of a SHIELD). I stationed them in front of the entrance to greet the invaders.

Just as my last military dwarf was slaughtered I was wondering, why I didn't retract the drawbridge to force them to go over the death walk I prepared... and why I didn't train marksdwarves to shoot at them from the fortified room stocked with plenty of iron bolts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on April 06, 2010, 06:24:43 am
Load up me new DF 0.3, embark on an uninteresting place, struggle through all the bugs... reallise I embarked with a rather deep aquifer and proceed to turn the entire map into a wasteland of pits where I failed to pierce the vile thing... which is everywhere, there is no room for another attempt.  The stream full of carp has leaked down into it.  There is a sturgeon trapped with my surgeon. One of my miners is carefully trying to dig UP without colapsing the entire region so he can find some food before he starves. My woodcutter is on a doughnut shaped spire of earth that is now clear of trees. And my farmer is lazy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Asdwolf on April 06, 2010, 08:08:06 am
Getting my dwarf's head ripped off by a giant eagle right at the start of a fortress....the head was dropped 3 tiles away from the rest of his body, with only an ear and his nose nearby.  :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mrbobbyg on April 06, 2010, 09:37:59 am
Learning that I can designate digs that span z levels.

Ouch...Ouch...Ouch...

I have carpal tunnel from hitting  <, d, i, i, <, d, i, i .... so many times I cannot count.  I've been playing for a year or so...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Asdwolf on April 06, 2010, 12:01:51 pm
How do you manage that? When I do that, it just designates on the level you end at.

EDIT: New facepalm: got some migrants, they turned up on the other side of the river, and I haven't built a bridge there yet...darn
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Matthew117 on April 06, 2010, 01:18:51 pm
Quote from: mrbobbyg on April 06, 2010, 09:37:59 am
Learning that I can designate digs that span z levels.

I still haven't figured that out yet. How do you do that?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on April 06, 2010, 02:36:02 pm
To double my facepalm, an entire immigration wave froze to death as I discovered water freezes for a few weeks on my map... I can't find a pick to mine my way through the ice.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kurokikaze on April 06, 2010, 03:41:23 pm
Third time in a row I ran out of fuel and had to go outside for wood. I have plenty of bitumnous coal/lignite, but smelter that uses them to melt ore is working faster than one doing fuel.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jack_Bread on April 06, 2010, 04:05:24 pm
Forgot to make my craftsdwarf's workshop make crafts after it was taken over by my miner.
The caravan came with all the stuff that I wanted and I only have several backpacks, a quiver, and some rope to give. D:
EDIT:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dr. Melon on April 06, 2010, 04:35:59 pm
I had two miners working on a giant pit shaft. One dwarf got attacked by a large rat and fell 40 z-levels. ;_;
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PhoenicIan on April 06, 2010, 05:37:32 pm
Got a good laugh out of this thread so far, and it makes me feel not-as-bad about my own multitude of errors upon trying DF for the first time between yesterday today.

Here's how my Fortresses have panned out so far:

#1: I have absolutely no clue how to dig down when I start atop a hill with no walls nearby
#2: Hey let's embark with one pick and seven dwarves
#3: Hey, this time let's get through setting up half our foodstuffs, kind of, and then mash "e" on the wrong screen trying to type "meat".
#4: Hmm, I'll have the game seek out a nice area for me. Wow, even my beast of a computer is dragging. Hi there, Program Manager. DF is using...WHAT?! Almost TWO GIGS of memory. Trying to find an area. And then it promptly crashes.

Who's batting an oh-fer? Me! Just wait until I find Fun. D:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Halmie on April 06, 2010, 09:54:18 pm
Quote from: PhoenicIan on April 06, 2010, 05:37:32 pm
Got a good laugh out of this thread so far, and it makes me feel not-as-bad about my own multitude of errors upon trying DF for the first time between yesterday today.

Here's how my Fortresses have panned out so far:

#1: I have absolutely no clue how to dig down when I start atop a hill with no walls nearby
#2: Hey let's embark with one pick and seven dwarves
#3: Hey, this time let's get through setting up half our foodstuffs, kind of, and then mash "e" on the wrong screen trying to type "meat".
#4: Hmm, I'll have the game seek out a nice area for me. Wow, even my beast of a computer is dragging. Hi there, Program Manager. DF is using...WHAT?! Almost TWO GIGS of memory. Trying to find an area. And then it promptly crashes.

Who's batting an oh-fer? Me! Just wait until I find Fun. D:
I haven't really played the new version due to bugs and a shitty computer.
#1: You can (d)esignate (I think it's j)down staircases(or atleast you could in previous versions) but make sure you (d)esignate (u)p OR (i)up/down staircases the level below or your dwarves will just poke a hole through.
#2: I do that often on purpose, I might not with the new underground as reclaiming the pick might be a tad hard.
#3: ?
#4: This is the communities fault for nagging Toady to release the new version.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chronas on April 07, 2010, 02:21:15 am
Quote from: Matthew117 on April 06, 2010, 01:18:51 pm
Quote from: mrbobbyg on April 06, 2010, 09:37:59 am
Learning that I can designate digs that span z levels.

I still haven't figured that out yet. How do you do that?
i would like to know too, the most efficient way of building staircases i found so far is holding down the mouse button in the square i want as well as [shift] + [>]
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PhoenicIan on April 07, 2010, 02:51:24 am
Quote from: Halmie on April 06, 2010, 09:54:18 pm

#3: Hey, this time let's get through setting up half our foodstuffs, kind of, and then mash "e" on the wrong screen trying to type "meat".


#3: ?

[/quote]

I was typing in name so fthings on the 'new item' screen, doing the searches...and accidentally typed "MEAT" on the main screen, which contains the letter 'e', which embarks. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chronas on April 07, 2010, 08:36:17 am
in my fancy new fort i was  working hard to make awesome, i was going to raise the land value with some engravings done by my legendary engraver (legendary before he went fey) what i got:
a masterful engraving of an elf, the symbol of the fences of justice
 -my civ.

facepalm headdesk
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sulphuratum on April 07, 2010, 10:46:25 am
Damned melting dwarves...
one half of the map was warm, one half hot.
i thought hot is not so evil, but everyone who wanted to go outside melted to death
*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on April 07, 2010, 10:51:54 am
Forgot to make a modded green dragon immune to it's own poison breath. 

I spent 30 minutes in the arena mode trying to figure out why they passed out and died shortly after killing my guinea pigs in arena mode before I finally figured it out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mrbobbyg on April 07, 2010, 11:44:41 am
Quote from: Chronas on April 07, 2010, 02:21:15 am
Quote from: Matthew117 on April 06, 2010, 01:18:51 pm
Quote from: mrbobbyg on April 06, 2010, 09:37:59 am
Learning that I can designate digs that span z levels.

I still haven't figured that out yet. How do you do that?
i would like to know too, the most efficient way of building staircases i found so far is holding down the mouse button in the square i want as well as [shift] + [>]

That's how I do it now.  I know it's not perfect, but it's a hell of a lot better than doing it without the mouse.  Sorry, I wish I had a better tech.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ultimuh on April 07, 2010, 11:56:15 am
A racoon stole one of my battle axes from the embark wagon as all my dwarves were either mining or hauling rocks.. a racoon for armok's sake! What would it ned it for? and how would it be carrying it?


I fear I will be besieged by woodland animals in the next few seasons..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kipi on April 07, 2010, 01:14:38 pm
Quote from: Ultimuh on April 07, 2010, 11:56:15 am
A racoon stole one of my battle axes from the embark wagon as all my dwarves were either mining or hauling rocks.. a racoon for armok's sake! What would it ned it for? and how would it be carrying it?


I fear I will be besieged by woodland animals in the next few seasons..

Damn those hippies elves. Not did they shun you if you cut enough trees or tried sold wooden items to them, now they have trained wild animals to steal weapons used to cut those trees!!  >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on April 07, 2010, 03:52:59 pm
Quote from: Chronas on April 07, 2010, 08:36:17 am
in my fancy new fort i was  working hard to make awesome, i was going to raise the land value with some engravings done by my legendary engraver (legendary before he went fey) what i got:
a masterful engraving of an elf, the symbol of the fences of justice
 -my civ.

facepalm headdesk

You could claim it's a mutilated elf corpse. The nobody will be able to tell the difference. Especially if you paved a giant E on your dining room floor and gave it a bauxite/kaolinite/elf blood background.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Talanic on April 07, 2010, 04:26:20 pm
My soldiers wouldn't spar with swords as assigned.  I didn't think it was that big of a problem until the Naked Mole Dogs attacked.  Still, the legendary wrestlers killed the dogs - it took some time but wasn't too bad until there was just one left.

My guard captain spent over three months beating up that one naked mole dog.  Nobody else would jump in on the fight to assist, despite being assigned to do so.  Eventually, she starved to death right before the naked mole dog died.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: alway on April 07, 2010, 04:32:07 pm
I flooded my fort with a pressurized water well. Just to give a general sense of my fort setup, it is built around a huge 3 by 3 stairway, with an open shaft (for dropping things) in the middle. This shaft spans from ground level to -97. The majority of my fort is built around the cave at -52 with my farms and such there, with a bit more at -97 for metal forging with the magma sea. The fort design is mostly vertical, with it expanding out no more than a screen at its widest (at the housing section). The lake which supplied the well was at level -26; it was supposed to have a diagonal pressure stop to keep it from exploding, but due to a small error corrected by removing the diagonal and then forgetting to replace it afterwards, there was nothing to slow it down. Within 1 step of opening the doors to let water into the well, the pressurized water from the large underground lake filled most of the z level the well was in (due to the well being at around -40).

By the time a dwarf managed to get to the lever (since the water was coming from above the main living areas and flooding the main stairway), z levels -97 through -53 had been fully flooded, with -52 partially flooded and minor flooding on levels all the way up to about -38. And since the shaft was open to the sky during winter, there is now a massive pillar of ice filling the shaft up to -38. Only about 3 died due in large part to a legendary miner who sacrificed himself while saving most of the city. He was trapped on a level with a cave at -76, and by mining out a wall got rid of all water above that level. Unfortunately for him, the flow of the water (which by the way seems to be much more powerful than before) pushed him down a level and about 20 tiles across an obsidian covered magma pipe (covered from previous attempts at draining by him standing in doorway while mining, releasing small amounts of water) and finally into the pipe itself. He fell to about -100, and survived with only bruising to his upper and lower torse, before finally bleeding to death from the magma he was also drowning in. Through his actions, over 1/3 of the fort's dwarves, trapped in the dining hall, were able to escape.

I have now saved all survivors, and attempting to drain the rest of the fort by opening a hole to the magma sea. And if I'm lucky kill some magma men while I'm at it!

@Talanic: make sure you have an arsenal dwarf set up. Also, I don't think dwarves actually spar anymore. They just do various drills.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on April 07, 2010, 05:04:11 pm
I discovered that the class entry in ammo can be whatever you want.  Replace bolt/arrow/blowdart with what you want in a ranged weapon's raw entry and you can create a custom weapon that only shoots custom ammo.

I then quickly rushed to the modding IRC to announce my discovery.

Quote
[17:52] <Greiger_> You can set a custom ranged weapon to only use custom ammo
[17:52] <Lofn> *try
[17:52] <Squeegy> has one lofn
[17:52] <Squeegy> not dumb
[17:52] <Lofn> ..
[17:52] <Squeegy> greiger: ........
[17:52] <Lofn> the one you just posted doesn't
[17:52] <Lofn> oh wait nvm
[17:52] <Lofn> Greiger_: you noob.
[17:52] <Greiger_> ...did everyone already know that...?
[17:53] <Lofn> yes
[17:53] <Greiger_> fuck
[17:53] <Lofn> it's been the case since 2D dorf fort

BLAST!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sproingie on April 07, 2010, 06:46:53 pm
Quote from: Greiger on April 07, 2010, 05:04:11 pm
I discovered that the class entry in ammo can be whatever you want. 

I totally want a crossbow that shoots cats.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vimes on April 07, 2010, 08:07:58 pm
I spent all my time busily training my dwarves, making sure I had a well balanced expedition party, going so far as to build pointless walls out 20 tiles long at random to train my mason while the miner dug hundreds of tunnels, and what happens?

The first immigration wave. High master Cook. High Master Mason. Master Miner.

Ffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mangled on April 07, 2010, 08:14:31 pm
Discovered that even in the new version Dwarfs are of the opinion that they are fireproof.
To the doctors credit he did put a bandage on the burnt !!!Dwarf!!!, shame he forgot to do something about the !!!'s.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fullmoon on April 08, 2010, 12:15:10 am
Quote from: Vimes on April 07, 2010, 08:07:58 pm
I spent all my time busily training my dwarves, making sure I had a well balanced expedition party, going so far as to build pointless walls out 20 tiles long at random to train my mason while the miner dug hundreds of tunnels, and what happens?

The first immigration wave. High master Cook. High Master Mason. Master Miner.

Ffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...

You do know you are lucky, don't you?
Out of 23 immigrants (total) I've got only 10 with any skills higher than adequate. Useful skills, that's it. Instead I have High Master Crutchwalker and Grand Master Soapmaker.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thornet on April 08, 2010, 12:32:08 am
My champion wrestler decided it would be a great idea to take on a skeletal giant eagle while holding her baby (40d). Poor thing lost a leg and broke some bones while the mother emerged unscathed.

That baby is now a child, paying rent for a room and STILL in a coma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lytha on April 08, 2010, 05:24:01 am
Plumbing system, when I read the thread about the new water system in DF2010.

So far, I would poke a hole into the subterranean river or the edge of the aquifer, make the water drop all the way down to the ground floor through a staircase or the like, and then build a massive pump stack from the bottom level all the way up to the top of the mountain - each z-level would take water from that pump stack, if I needed it on that z-level for something.

Now I realized that I wouldn't have needed to pump the water from the bottom back up to the z-level of the subterranean river at all... all I had to do would've been to poke diagonally into the vertical shaft.

This means that I could have saved a whole lot of FPS on the last-to-one fortress, given that the subterranean river was about 50 z-levels above the ground level.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TigerPlushie on April 08, 2010, 08:04:00 am
Started on a nice, calm site with my usual setup (including two miners). Designated an entrance, death walk, barracks and main shaft... soon after that I said "screw it" and designated the entire fortress to be dug out, including the main shaft down, a big meeting all, a big dining hall, a big hospital, the farming area atop the shaft, the workshops, the storage areas, the apartment complex with huge 2x3 quarters and huge penthouses on top, the prison and the vault (for artifacts)....

New migrants...
Then the booze was gone...
New migrants again...
Food is running low...
A kobold thief keeps pestering us. Luckily all migrants are around the wagon and keep him away.
A caravan arrives. I quickly build a craftsdwarf shop and churn out stone crafts to buy more food.
Still no booze...


Two fifth of the fortress were roughly dough out when I saved to go to bed.

Next time I do that I bring six miners...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DarthCloakedDwarf on April 08, 2010, 11:04:30 am
Quote from: ThtblovesDF on April 21, 2009, 01:04:24 pm
Playing, embarking, my cats explode. Whoooooooooooooooops forgot that one....
Same fort, a year later, Orcs come on the map... and explode.

I guess I was a bit overexicted with hometherm...
Is there a way to get immigrants to explode like that? They're eating all mah foodstuffs!

I'd say my biggest facepalm was when immigrant waves started arriving... on my island fortress. Wonderful.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Keolah on April 08, 2010, 12:46:45 pm
Failed to notice a back way into my fortress. Goblins got in and killed two, wounded six. Another dwarf subsequently went insane. Unfortunately one of the wounded was also my medical dwarf...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Halfwing on April 08, 2010, 02:59:19 pm
The first time I started playing, I was using a written tutorial. When it said to start hollowing out the mountain... I started to hollow out the mountain...

Not like, carving a few corridors, and carving the rooms.

I made the entire mountain a giant hollow cone... No rooms, nothing. just one big empty cone.

On the bright side, I learned about how to build walls far earlier then I needed too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Keldor on April 08, 2010, 03:41:55 pm
So my miner gets both knees broken when he's mauled by a yeti...

Looking at his profile, it turns out he likes crutches!  I wonder if he'll still like them once this is over...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: warlordzephyr on April 08, 2010, 04:47:09 pm
Quote from: Keldor on April 08, 2010, 03:41:55 pm
So my miner gets both knees broken when he's mauled by a yeti...

Looking at his profile, it turns out he likes crutches!  I wonder if he'll still like them once this is over...

So you like crutches do ya? What if i BREAK YOUR LEGS! HOW'D YOU LIKE EM HOW?!?! HUH DWARF?!? NOT SO IN LOVE WITH CRUTCHES NOW ARE YA?!? AHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

That was you btw.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Trowzers on April 08, 2010, 06:19:14 pm
Playing with the keybindings and accidentally setting the 'Leave screen' button to 'k'.

Which means everytime you try to change the keybinding, you have to hit 'k' to change it... and of course it leaves the screen.

(Yes, I did work out how to fix it... but definitely a facepalm moment!)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Meanmelter on April 08, 2010, 08:55:44 pm
Accidentally flooding my ENTIRE fort because when you channel, it digs the wall under it and I channeled right next to the river, right next to my food storage area...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beanchubbs on April 09, 2010, 12:00:51 am
I was beginning to set up camp in the first cave system I had cleared out. Masons were building walls, miners were clearing out space, woodcutters were cutting down trees. I then look at the units list and see two new GCS's on there that weren't there a few minutes ago. They both decided to de-cloak at the same time and tear apart my dorfs while the military was rushing the 40 z-level staircase. By the time they got there, there was just a 1-legged miner and a no-armed mason left alive. 5 of the 6 died then I got a goblin ambush. No more fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shoruke on April 09, 2010, 12:15:11 am
I have only flooded my fort by digging laterally into an aquifer ONCE. And I never intend to do it again.

I don't think this counts per the OP, but I did a facepalm when that skeletal dragon, knowing that it couldn't suffocate, tried to enter my sealed-off fort by swimming in through the volcano. It died, and I didn't even get to give its skull as a gift to my dungeon master. Gave the fire imps something to look at, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Whisp on April 09, 2010, 02:34:19 am
Killing and butchering fire imps;

"ooo a fire imp, I will butcher it"
"Noooo! Fire! The fire has spread to my food barrels full of Fat. More fire!!!"
death
death
death
"Ahh its under control, let rebuild"
"ooo a fire imp, I will butcher it"

Repeat 3 x
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on April 09, 2010, 01:26:47 pm
You know, if you let them "cool off" a bit before killing them, there won't be !!Fire Imp fat!! in your butcher's workshop.

They have [HOMEOTHERM:some-reasonable-number-that-my-lazy-self-forgot]. It's less than 10100. The magma heats them up to a point where their fat (the only non-magma-safe part of them) is generated upon butchering at a temperature where it instantly ignites.

Cage them and give them a year in your animal stockpile and everything will be 8)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Genkora on April 09, 2010, 09:44:32 pm
I told my dwarves to build some fortifications on top of a wall.  Unfortunately, I told them to make the fortifications after I told them to make the floor,  my masons got trapped on top (could no longer reach the stairs because fortifications were in the way), and I had to allow some random dwarves to do masonry to save the guys on top.  No one died, but one almost died of thirst.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LordShotGun on April 10, 2010, 11:23:22 am
I made a stairway one z level above my enterence and then proceded to make a floor where I placed a couple statues. After making a room from one of the statues for my annual party for dwarfmas, my dwarfs of course then proceded to PARTY. Unfortunatly at this time a goblin ambush occured that had a grand total of 5 bowmen with plenty of arrows.  They proceaded to fire dozens of arrows at my unarmored party dwarfs injuring dozens and killing several.

It will forever be known to me as the bloodiest dwarvmas party Iv ever had. This is including the time I let louse a caged untamed dragon in the middle of my dining hall. (40d, and my champions quickly zerged it too death)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kishmond on April 10, 2010, 01:35:56 pm
Learning that water under pressure flows really fast.

"Okay, that dwarf will just run into that flooded bedroom, grab a pick, run out. No big deal, only a little water-"
*WHOOSH*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on April 10, 2010, 04:43:24 pm
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on April 09, 2010, 01:26:47 pm
You know, if you let them "cool off" a bit before killing them, there won't be !!Fire Imp fat!! in your butcher's workshop.

They have [HOMEOTHERM:some-reasonable-number-that-my-lazy-self-forgot]. It's less than 10100. The magma heats them up to a point where their fat (the only non-magma-safe part of them) is generated upon butchering at a temperature where it instantly ignites.

Cage them and give them a year in your animal stockpile and everything will be 8)
Horray! thank you!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on April 10, 2010, 11:11:45 pm
My source: http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/40d:Fire_imp#Interesting_Notes (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/40d:Fire_imp#Interesting_Notes)

EDIT:typo.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rastaan on April 11, 2010, 12:46:36 am
I bought a good hundred food from a caravan to save my starving fortress and stored it outside, as my storage chambers weren't ready yet.

...Then I learnt that DF2010 has Buzzards, which are like Raccoons...which FLY. They proceeded to fly off with half of my food.
...Then I learnt that DF2010 has nerfed wrestlers, so while my only Recruit was wrestling a single Rhesus Macaque, the rest of the pack made off with the other half of my food.

And to add insult to impending death via starvation, the last Rhesus Macaque stole my only free axe, which my recruit had been on his way to pick up before being interrupted by a monkey he only killed a good 10 minutes later.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Whisp on April 11, 2010, 03:02:46 am
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on April 09, 2010, 01:26:47 pm
You know, if you let them "cool off" a bit before killing them, there won't be !!Fire Imp fat!! in your butcher's workshop.

They have [HOMEOTHERM:some-reasonable-number-that-my-lazy-self-forgot]. It's less than 10100. The magma heats them up to a point where their fat (the only non-magma-safe part of them) is generated upon butchering at a temperature where it instantly ignites.

Cage them and give them a year in your animal stockpile and everything will be 8)

Brilliant, now we can all have fire imp burgers!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on April 11, 2010, 08:51:43 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on April 11, 2010, 10:04:28 am
I guess fire imps must not be very meaty with such a thin patty.  And so many vegetables on that thing, vegetables aren't food, vegetables are what food eats!

...still, free burger. I'll take mine with only ketchup.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Whisp on April 11, 2010, 10:33:56 am
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on April 11, 2010, 08:51:43 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I take it thats a "lavish" mean ya?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on April 11, 2010, 11:56:33 am
Quote from: Whisp on April 11, 2010, 10:33:56 am
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on April 11, 2010, 08:51:43 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I take it thats a "lavish" mean ya?
Easily. Fire imp meat, tomato/pepper salsa, lettuce leaves, and cow cheese. That's a proper lavish meal right there, if not available in vanilla.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Quantum Toast on April 11, 2010, 12:07:31 pm
Quote from: Greiger on April 11, 2010, 10:04:28 am
And so many vegetables on that thing, vegetables aren't food, vegetables are what food eats!
Would it help if you had an elf in a cage to watch you eating plants?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Julien Brightside on April 11, 2010, 12:37:07 pm
So I make a spot a fortress in the iddle of nowhere. Unfortunately, I do not get the burrows thing, so under a goblin ambsuh, I have 40 dwarves run out and get themselves killed. My military is poorly equipped and gets their ass beaten.

After a few more situations like this, I end with a fortress beaten. When I reclaim, all the goblins are friendly, and I get a message that one of the goblins have grown attached to his copper crossbow.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on April 11, 2010, 12:41:40 pm
Quote from: Quantum Toast on April 11, 2010, 12:07:31 pm
Quote from: Greiger on April 11, 2010, 10:04:28 am
And so many vegetables on that thing, vegetables aren't food, vegetables are what food eats!
Would it help if you had an elf in a cage to watch you eating plants?
I would have a cow eat the vegetables, then grill the cow.  Maybe deep fat fry the sucker.  Elf gets to watch the whole thing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Whisp on April 12, 2010, 02:25:18 am
Quote from: Greiger on April 11, 2010, 10:04:28 am
I would have a cow eat the vegetables, then grill the cow.  Maybe deep fat fry the sucker.  Elf gets to watch the whole thing.

This is porn to me...

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Organum on April 12, 2010, 02:28:12 am
Quote from: Whisp on April 12, 2010, 02:25:18 am
Quote from: Greiger on April 11, 2010, 10:04:28 am
I would have a cow eat the vegetables, then grill the cow.  Maybe deep fat fry the sucker.  Elf gets to watch the whole thing.

This is porn to me...



Why would you ever tell someone that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on April 12, 2010, 02:51:31 am
Quote from: darthbob88 on April 11, 2010, 11:56:33 am
Quote from: Whisp on April 11, 2010, 10:33:56 am
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on April 11, 2010, 08:51:43 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I take it thats a "lavish" mean ya?
Easily. Fire imp meat, tomato/pepper salsa, lettuce leaves, and cow cheese. That's a proper lavish meal right there, if not available in vanilla.
Masterfully minced Fire imp meat,
Expertly minced salsa
Minced tomato
Very well minced lettuce leaves
Well minced cow cheese
all atop a basic minced bun
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Whisp on April 12, 2010, 03:04:50 am
I would love to be shown the difference between;
Minced
Well Minced
Very well Minced
Expertly Minced
and Masterfully Minced
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Halmie on April 12, 2010, 04:27:10 am
Quote from: Time Kitten on April 12, 2010, 02:51:31 am
Quote from: darthbob88 on April 11, 2010, 11:56:33 am
Quote from: Whisp on April 11, 2010, 10:33:56 am
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on April 11, 2010, 08:51:43 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I take it thats a "lavish" mean ya?
Easily. Fire imp meat, tomato/pepper salsa, lettuce leaves, and cow cheese. That's a proper lavish meal right there, if not available in vanilla.
Masterfully minced Fire imp meat,
Expertly minced salsa
Minced tomato
Very well minced lettuce leaves
Well minced cow cheese
all atop a basic minced bun
Ummm... I don't think they use cow cheese.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cerion on April 12, 2010, 03:12:23 pm
I dug a shaft 35 z-levels down from my fort's garbage dump to the magma for waste and stone disposal. When channeling out the bottom level, the miner decided it would be a good idea to stand on top of the stone being removed (sigh)

The shaft is also for some reason filled with levitating blood spatters in "open space"

Later, while fighting some sort of dinosaur forgotten beast, my militia commander got his arm and foot broken, and I forgot to remove him from the military. They sewed the arm up with ADAMANTINE STRANDS which apparently made him think he was invincible. Although he couldn't walk he insisted on attempting to join individual combat training and refused any further medical treatment, food or drink, eventually dying of starvation. The dwarves dutifully picked up the thread and put it back in the stockpile...

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naes Draw on April 12, 2010, 04:18:50 pm
Quote from: Cerion on April 12, 2010, 03:12:23 pm
They sewed the arm up with ADAMANTINE STRANDS

Badass. If you could only make prosthesis.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wolfen on April 12, 2010, 05:28:08 pm
I dug a stairway straight down from the middle of my fortress as a pilot for a main stairway and hit the cavern several levels earlier than I planned. While having a look I saw something move and decided to block off the stairway at that point in case their were fliers.

I designate the stair for channeling to get it out of the way, ready to floor over the hole. Next thing I see at the bottom of the screen is 'Urist McMinerdorf has bled to death'. I panic, thinking that I was too late and something has gotten out into the fortress from below, forgetting to check for a comat report. I look at the stairs. Nothing, the hall the stairs come up into, nothing. Finally look down in cavern and there, about 5 z-levels down, is poor Urist's mangled remains.

He'd been stood on the last stair square when he channeled it out...


Wolfen.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lemunde on April 12, 2010, 05:47:31 pm
Opened the wall grates to the lower caverns to gather some fungiwood expecting the megabeast that showed up a year ago to be gone.  He wasn't.  By the time I saw him he was already past the grates.  Killed him without any casualties.  Or so I thought.  Then I saw the miasma everywhere.  A month later ten dwarves were dead from infection and the rest were emoing themselves to death.

For future reference: NEVER open the caves until you have some mechanism in place to deal with megabeasts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Talanic on April 12, 2010, 10:04:19 pm
I just got attacked by a forgotten beast that's composed of living silver.

Turns out that whatever makes bronze colossi nearly immortal also applies to this thing.  Squad of legendary swordsdwarves hacking away at it for half an hour; they've removed every limb it has and it's long since been rendered harmless, but it's not dead.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on April 12, 2010, 10:33:54 pm
So, I started a new fort in the new version, and I had a good location and everything was going well, I decided to start up my farming, so I dug to a place where I had sandy soil and dug out a space for a farm.

Yeah, despite having read about it around here, I forgot that the new version requires the ground to be muddied even when it's soil. *facepalm*

So I dug an irrigation chamber next to the farm with a hole to the surface for filling, set up a door and linked lever and all, and set a pond zone to fill the chamber.  The chamber filled up to 3/7 and then... the dwarfs started filling the pond zone from itself *facepalm*

I quickly designated two drinking zones and set dwarfs to only use designated zones and filling resumed

Oh, by the way, those two zones are from murky pools about 10 squares away from my irrigation chamber to the north and south, which I hadn't noticed, so I could have just channeled the water to my farm zone, except I didn't notice they were there until I'd already had dwarfs filling the irrigation room, and at this point I was too stubborn (and in a bit of a hurry, since two migrant waves had shown up and were taxing my stores) *facepalm*

and I didn't know migrants would now show up before teh first caravan visit, which deserves another face palm.

So I let my irrigation room flood the farm and then it turns out that you can't designate a farm on a square taht has more than 1/7 water.  I don't even know if that's new of if it's always been like that, but... *facepalm* I have the second door to my farm removed so the excess can spill out into the main hall so I can get the farm built.  Then my farming enables dorf takes his sweet time building the farm, and again takes forever planting the first seed.

Yeah, I blame part of it on using the play now option and not knowing who has what skill... it didn't help I had only one pick and one miner who wasn't the highest skilled to begin with.

Lots of face palm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Logical2u on April 12, 2010, 11:20:09 pm
Been trying to work on a "sustainable" fort with a few mini-mega-projects, living pods, legendary dining rooms, etc - mostly to get hospitals and barracks up and running for 31.02 testing purposes.

Ending up deciding to reroute a brook underneath my fort (a net movement of about 6 map tiles) as the first step in the mini-mega-project (a rounded dining room was also an attempt, but we shall not speak of that).

Ended up deciding to do it right - make it drainable in the event of an emergency, prevent attackers from crawling into it, prevent trees from growing into it...
Spent more than an in-game year digging it out, and dumping the stone out behind the miners. Ended up building a grating system to filter attackers.

Decided that I should smooth the inside of it to prevent trees from growing (dumb in hindsight, I know).

Got an ambush during the middle of the smoothing. Maul-equipped goblins. My smoothers didn't stand a chance.

Decided to test out the river-rerouting system - activated the grates, lowered and raised the associated bridges...

The goblins murdered the heck out of my dwarves, but the slowly advancing wall of water caught up to them.

And they ran...
and ran...
and ran...
back to the other side of the brook.

The water slammed into them, drowning 5 of them...

And 2 of them phased through the grate due to the well documented water-pressure critter glitch.

And by that point they had enough points in swimming to stop drowning.

Of course, I didn't realize that until I decided to try and put more water into the system by changing the routing scheme, and I let them free.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FreakyCheeseMan on April 13, 2010, 02:13:00 am
Quote from: Michaelsoftman on April 20, 2009, 09:42:01 pm
Quote from: AncientEnemy on April 20, 2009, 09:18:57 pm
discovering the d->b menu.

oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones

Oh man same here for me.

I remember digging out a large room, and then sighing as I would press 'k' then I'd press right, D, right, D, right, D etc etc until i marked like 200 stones for dumping.

Then someone showed me mass dumping...  I love that man.

NO ONE SHOWED ME THAT.

FreakyCheeseMan cancels Do Homework: Throwing Tantrum.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tallim on April 13, 2010, 05:10:06 am
Real stupid one this, setup a series of floodgates to transport water from the brook into the deep part of my fortress. All worked perfectly except I had forgotten to block the initial access point for my miners/mechanics by the brook. Area filled up with water then flowed back into my main access shaft and proceeded to dump water straight into my deepest level.

I relearned the lesson, safety first!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rastaan on April 13, 2010, 07:09:15 am
Just built a massive windmill tower, wide at the bottom, thinner at the top, rounded(ish) roof, set up all the gears and axles, a couple of millstones, next to a large above-ground barn full of storage areas.
Put the windmill turbine as the large moment of triumph and completion.


Trust my map to not have any wind.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on April 13, 2010, 08:03:55 am
Quote from: Rastaan on April 13, 2010, 07:09:15 am
Just built a massive windmill tower, wide at the bottom, thinner at the top, rounded(ish) roof, set up all the gears and axles, a couple of millstones, next to a large above-ground barn full of storage areas.
Put the windmill turbine as the large moment of triumph and completion.


Trust my map to not have any wind.

This is the best thing I have heard all day.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rastaan on April 13, 2010, 08:50:45 am
All I can say to that, sir, is XD.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kipi on April 13, 2010, 12:24:34 pm
Related to DF, so I'll post it here.

As running community fort, I'm doing a lot screen capturing to record the events and dwarves. Now, don't know where it originates to, but I'm used to do WinKey + PrintScreen combination. This results capture of the whole screen, which then goes:
Screen capture -> paste to Paint -> copy the section containing the game screen -> start new picture (and answer no to the saving question) -> paste the copied section -> save.

A lot work for one picture.

Now, I just learned that if I press the PrintScreen button alone, it will take screenshot from the active window only... ::)

*facepalm*

Now, I do know thing or two about computers (studying IT at the university). I just haven't used screen capturing much before DF (actually, I think only twice as far as I remember), so that may explain this. I found it out when I tried to find a way to get a screenshot from secondary screen (running in dual monitor atm) and the DF is running on the secondary screen.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LegacyCWAL on April 13, 2010, 12:38:43 pm
In my first .31 fort, I defended my initial entrance with a few stone-fall traps.  That was plenty early on, but goblin attacks kept getting past them to kill (literally) half my military each time.

After three or four ass-kickings, I suddenly realized, "wait...I can build more traps."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kidiri on April 13, 2010, 02:10:17 pm
Quote from: LegacyCWAL on April 13, 2010, 12:38:43 pm
In my first .31 fort, I defended my initial entrance with a few stone-fall traps.  That was plenty early on, but goblin attacks kept getting past them to kill (literally) half my military each time.

After three or four ass-kickings, I suddenly realized, "wait...I can build more traps."
You're gonna need a bigger trap.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: derekiv on April 14, 2010, 08:48:38 am
Oh, some cave creatures. I'll just build a door to keep them out of my main stairwell.
 ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: !!Zombie Carp!! on April 14, 2010, 11:46:59 am
Quote from: derekiv on April 14, 2010, 08:48:38 am
Oh, some cave creatures. I'll just build a door to keep them out of my main stairwell.
 ::)

Even though your fortress is in a state of emergency, don't forget that dwarves will trap themselves behind constructed walls fully half the time. They aren't clever enough to figure that they will die if they are on any one particular side of it on their own.  :(

Urist McLegendaryMason has been struck down.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on April 14, 2010, 01:12:52 pm
I embarked on a cold forest.

Everything was frozen, which is fine.  I found the perfect area for defenses, so i get set up, and begin digging out a massive supply area, but first i start to get my industry set up. 

Then the thaw hits.

Turns out that my wagon was on top of a frozen lake, dumping all of my supplies into the water, and drowning 3 dwarves, including the expedition leader. >.<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hangedman on April 14, 2010, 02:48:39 pm
This, over and over, no matter how elaborate an irrigation system I cook up:

http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/mantisbt/view.php?id=87 (http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/mantisbt/view.php?id=87)

Can't the soil AROUND the water said to be muddied as well?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tastypaste on April 14, 2010, 03:05:09 pm
Crack open first cavern in .31, look around. All I see are troglodytes so I just assume there's nothing more dangerous around. I decide not to wall up the hole or build doors or any sort of defense.

One season later: Doctor, militia commander and the only two armored dwarfs were killed by GCS, military and war dogs wiped out by forgotten beast, constant spam of messages from dwarfs being interrupted by elk birds, troglodytes and moledogs. Recruit everyone, send them unarmed to attack the forgotten beast. 30/50 recruits die before beast succumbs to having its lungs punched in.

Within another season, everyone was dead or knocked unconscious from troglodytes. Abandon the fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tenth Speed Writer on April 14, 2010, 03:07:05 pm
So, I started a new fortress today..

Among my earlier jobs, is to get some statues erected to shiny the place up until the grand hall can be finished.



The first one my mason creates?

A dwarf being struck down by an elf.


Meet Unib McBeardless.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkrider2 on April 14, 2010, 06:03:39 pm
One of my dwarves went into a fey mood. He was skilled in cooking so I decided to make a kitchen for him. He didn't budge from the statue garden... so I made some craftsdwarves shops... still nothing.

I eventually forgot he was standing there, and then I get the message Urist McHulk cancels fey mood: went insane. Great, nows he's in a berserk rage.

Earlier I defeated some skeletal troglydites with a couple random recruits, so I made an eight guy squad and sent them to kill the guy, figuring: hey, should be a piece of cake.

Urist McHulk killed ALL EIGHT OF THEM.

AAARRRGGGHHHHH! damnit...

luckily the last recruit killed Urist right before bleeding to death. Sadly I can't be bothered to make him a special grave right now... guess he'll just rot outside with everyone else...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deathworks on April 14, 2010, 09:32:17 pm
Hi!

To understand this, you need to know that I like building above ground structures so as to avoid cave adaptation. Needless to say, after my first encounters with blood in the 31.01 version and the huge disruption the sea of blood in my surface bed rooms has cause, I have deliberately changed my fortress design to avoid any insoluble blood issues.

Now, while one of the armed caravans was in the depot in my young 31.03 fortress, a cougar strayed near them and got shot with a bolt. It moved away, trailing blood and finally bled to death quite a bit away from my fortress proper.

I checked on the cougar a few times in hope someone would butcher it, but in the end, I only got the bones and skull out of it.

Spring arrived, and I looked around the fortress also wishing to check on my fields which are one z-level above the entrance/trading area of the fortress (I got maybe 3 levels of rising terrain on the north of my map with a really nice "bay" in the middle) - and all I saw was red!

I had totally forgotten that I had not created a dining hall yet and the wagon was standing right next to a random murky pool. Someone or something must have gotten in contact with the cougar (probably when retrieving the bolt), washed themselves at that very pool - and all the animals and idle dwarves have multiplied it into a sea of blood!

I really goofed there, and I am not sure if I will get enough rain to clean up that mess there (^_^;;

Deathworks
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on April 15, 2010, 12:32:09 am
Quote from: Whisp on April 12, 2010, 03:04:50 am
I would love to be shown the difference between;
Minced
Well Minced
Very well Minced
Expertly Minced
and Masterfully Minced
The Fire imp meat has been menced into a paste, so much so it had to be reconstituted into a biscut,
Expertly minced salsa... well, you can see the chunks
Minced tomato.. lots of wide slices
Very well minced lettuce leaves... stringy slices
Well minced cow cheese... thin slices
all atop a basic minced bun ... cut once.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aeg1s on April 15, 2010, 05:56:20 am
I accidentally embarked without any food; well, I brought 3 cave lobsters for their shells but that was it. By the time I realized this everyone was too busy hunting for nonexistent vermin to eat to do anything that might actually have saved them :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hertzyscowicz on April 15, 2010, 12:08:52 pm
I'm not sure if I should be jumping from joy or facepalming; my forts residential district is being dug into a seam of lignite back to back with a vein, around 4 blocks wide, of hematite. Also, my cistern is flanked on two levels by a seam of bituminous coal. Good thing there's plenty more where that came from.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on April 15, 2010, 03:01:33 pm
Quote from: Hertzyscowicz on April 15, 2010, 12:08:52 pm
I'm not sure if I should be jumping from joy or facepalming; my forts residential district is being dug into a seam of lignite back to back with a vein, around 4 blocks wide, of hematite. Also, my cistern is flanked on two levels by a seam of bituminous coal. Good thing there's plenty more where that came from.

How is this a facepalm? Just dig it all out, build walls where the walls should be, and smooth the rest.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nekoexmachina on April 15, 2010, 05:47:18 pm
Just a moment ago, i got the third Legendary Leather Buckler Encrusted With Diamonds in a row.
Well, at least Leatherworkes are kinda useful.
Also, i find very, very frustrating one thing - i can not give priorities to the designations (or facepalmish, if i don't know how to do it). Almost in every fortress i have a situation, like, very big designation for lots of rooms and other fancy stuff, "dig it, dorf!" and so on, and suddenly i need a very little thingy to be dug in this moment, not a couple-of-game-years-later - so i have to de&redesignate  lot of stuff to have it done right now. >_<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tcei on April 15, 2010, 06:45:44 pm
Quote from: nekoexmachina on April 15, 2010, 05:47:18 pm
Also, i find very, very frustrating one thing - i can not give priorities to the designations (or facepalmish, if i don't know how to do it). Almost in every fortress i have a situation, like, very big designation for lots of rooms and other fancy stuff, "dig it, dorf!" and so on, and suddenly i need a very little thingy to be dug in this moment, not a couple-of-game-years-later - so i have to de&redesignate  lot of stuff to have it done right now. >_<

You cant really set priority for what gets mined first (to my knowledge at least) Best way I've found to control what gets dug is to designate small sections at a time. Then open up the next area to be dug when you are ready.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Techhead on April 15, 2010, 06:48:19 pm
My military commander was a legendary axedwarf, not to mention sheriff. He threw a tantrum, and killed a cat and wounded two dwarves. The first dwarf just got a gashed forearm, but the second lost an arm at the shoulder and a leg at the knee. Worse, he was my only medical dwarf, so he gets treated by dabblers. To make matters worse, as sheriff, he decides not to punish himself. Even more tragic, the cat belonged to him.

To top it all off, the first dwarf with minor injuries died of thirst in the hospital while waiting in line for treatment.

Good news, though! He's out of the hospital on crutches now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cardinal on April 15, 2010, 10:04:04 pm
A bronze colossus showed up, and after reading all the reports of how horrendous they are, I figured I was toast.  So I breached the volcano and began filling my fortress and the caverns with sweet, sweet magma.  All the while, the BC is playing one of my hunters like a rubik's cube.  It's a good ending, I expect death and destruction and magma, when the damn BC gets caught in a cage (Yeah, I forgot).

Um, does anyone have a big enough bauxite cork to put in the hole in the volcano?  I breached it 80 levels beneath the caldera...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on April 15, 2010, 10:13:29 pm
Quick, you can stop the magma flood with skillful and surgical application of magma!  Quickly before your fort is completely magmaflooded!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cardinal on April 15, 2010, 10:18:05 pm
I threw magma on it but it doesn't seem to be helping!

Wow, I can't believe I just typed that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kg333 on April 15, 2010, 11:41:07 pm
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on April 15, 2010, 03:01:33 pm
Quote from: Hertzyscowicz on April 15, 2010, 12:08:52 pm
I'm not sure if I should be jumping from joy or facepalming; my forts residential district is being dug into a seam of lignite back to back with a vein, around 4 blocks wide, of hematite. Also, my cistern is flanked on two levels by a seam of bituminous coal. Good thing there's plenty more where that came from.

How is this a facepalm? Just dig it all out, build walls where the walls should be, and smooth the rest.

Hmm...it'll be a facepalm once the lignite vein gets set on fire accidentally...

KG
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LegacyCWAL on April 16, 2010, 01:08:54 am
Quote from: nekoexmachina on April 15, 2010, 05:47:18 pm
Just a moment ago, i got the third Legendary Leather Buckler Encrusted With Diamonds in a row.
Well, at least Leatherworkes are kinda useful.
Also, i find very, very frustrating one thing - i can not give priorities to the designations (or facepalmish, if i don't know how to do it). Almost in every fortress i have a situation, like, very big designation for lots of rooms and other fancy stuff, "dig it, dorf!" and so on, and suddenly i need a very little thingy to be dug in this moment, not a couple-of-game-years-later - so i have to de&redesignate  lot of stuff to have it done right now. >_<

You can always un-designate just enough to keep the miners from getting to the rest of it.  Having a big chunk of space designated for mining doesn't do squat if it isn't connected to somewhere that the miners can get to.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nekoexmachina on April 16, 2010, 01:49:43 am
Well, I can not (at least not everywhere), because my dorfs dig mostly like a giant zig-zag via all the designated area.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Coidzure Dreams on April 16, 2010, 03:10:06 am
Quote from: nekoexmachina on April 16, 2010, 01:49:43 am
Well, I can not (at least not everywhere), because my dorfs dig mostly like a giant zig-zag via all the designated area.

Ah. See, if you want them to excavate it sanely, you'll need to break it up into segments such that either the width or the length is 2.

At least, that's what I always ran into with tunnels in 40d, was when I wanted a hallway 3-abreast, they'd take forever to clear it completely, instead preferring to do it in a zig-zag pattern down the length of it first.

So, if you want a large, hollowed out space, you'll want to do it as a series of hallways that are one space wide and just do the perimeter, and tunnels bisecting it width-wise and length-wise and then single-width tunnels slicing it up so that there's only single width stone walls left in the area, which will be cleared out in no time once they're designated after the initial mining.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nekoexmachina on April 16, 2010, 04:53:49 am
1)
Dig throw the whole earth to find the caverns, you pathetic dorf!
<digging..>
<digging..>
No caverns, but magma see and lot's of adamantine just in the place i've designated to be dug out
YEAH!
<Forgot to dedesignate the z-levels of adamantine i didn't see>
Hello, dear hell! :(
No military, just the starting stuff.
Also, i didn't understand one thing - can i ever survive striking hell with, err, just killing all the demons? Or there will be the endless flow of them?

2) Starting to pump from the irrigated area back to the river, without seing that the flow is going throw my refuse stockpile and of course without disallowing dorfs to come to that stockpile. "Urist McAshman drowned" x3, with all 3 of my legendary miners.
Carp, i should always disallow that guys to haul anything >_<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kohmelo on April 16, 2010, 08:20:36 am
Quote from: nekoexmachina on April 16, 2010, 04:53:49 am
1)
Dig throw the whole earth to find the caverns, you pathetic dorf!
<digging..>
<digging..>
No caverns, but magma see and lot's of adamantine just in the place i've designated to be dug out
YEAH!
<Forgot to dedesignate the z-levels of adamantine i didn't see>
Hello, dear hell! :(
No military, just the starting stuff.
Also, i didn't understand one thing - can i ever survive striking hell with, err, just killing all the demons? Or there will be the endless flow of them?

Same happened to me 10 mins ago. Designated huge area and went for a smoke and when I came back my last miller was running and dodging fireballs in the smoke. First Fortress destroyed this year.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nekoexmachina on April 16, 2010, 10:18:05 am
First ambush in DF2010.... Again, almost no military (10 novice - proficient wrestlers), but lots of traps. And lack of understanding how do i restrict my dorfs going outside.
From 12 invaders, i've captured 11 in the cage traps. 1 hammerman is running around, scaring my dorfs and killing some. I give an order for my wrestler-squad to kill this creature, and he kills everyone in the whole 10-dorf squad, and then leaves the map. Holy carp, i got 30! killed dorfs, and no less kittens and dogs with just a one crappy goblin. *facepalm*
Also among the killed there is three legendary stoneworkers & two mechanics.
Waiting for tantrum spiral.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LegacyCWAL on April 16, 2010, 12:32:54 pm
I've long since gotten in the habit of setting up my fort so that the potential battlegrounds are well away from where civilians are ever going to wind up.  It still works in DF2010.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RumblingNoise on April 16, 2010, 01:11:31 pm
I was sleepy and accidentally designated my entire living quarters area for digging instead of smoothing.. Noticed the living quarters about 30 minutes later and well... :o
That was a rather big facepalm moment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EddyP on April 16, 2010, 03:37:19 pm
Personally, I facepalm every migration wave. More woodcrafters, clothiers and cheesemakers?

And, of course, the time when I designated a cougar cage to be taken to the depot. This was interpreted as 'release the cougar' so for five minutes I had a cougar running around the industry floor of my fortress. Happily, it ran into another cage trap I had placed near the river.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on April 16, 2010, 06:32:49 pm
Spoiler: Forgotten fun stuff (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cardinal on April 16, 2010, 06:41:58 pm
Quote from: Greiger on April 16, 2010, 06:32:49 pm
The moral?  Don't forget about your forgotten beasts.  That is exactly what they want you to do, it's in their name.

The more you know...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vertigon on April 16, 2010, 07:00:45 pm
-blank slate-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cardinal on April 16, 2010, 07:55:32 pm
Quote from: Vertigon on April 16, 2010, 07:00:45 pm
Quote from: Cardinal on April 16, 2010, 06:41:58 pm
Quote from: Greiger on April 16, 2010, 06:32:49 pm
The moral?  Don't forget about your forgotten beasts.  That is exactly what they want you to do, it's in their name.

The more you know...

The more you Coal's?

And as any steamship captain will tell you, coaling is half the battle.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: immibis on April 17, 2010, 02:11:55 am
I was pumping magma 18 z-levels up (custom world generation with only one cavern layer) to a pipe two z-levels above the magma chamber for my metal industry. I checked on it, and realised that one of them had open space underneath a passable tile, and the magma was rising up and had already flooded the area to 4/7. Fortunately it was separated from most of my fort by a shale bridge (I knew it'd eventually be a good idea to make a bridge over that canyon instead of flooring) so the bridge melted and dumped most of the magma harmlessly on the brook. The only serious problem is now the !!coke!! that was in a nearby non-magma smelter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: matthiaspaco on April 17, 2010, 04:36:57 am
My face palm moments are pretty much every fucking second of playing this game. Why do I abuse myself for hours upon weeks upon months? Must kill goblins...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snall on April 17, 2010, 08:32:53 am
My last 2 forts I OFFERED instead of TRADED.  Yeah, that's never fun.  So I'm writing this now since another trader just came to remind me to TRADE ffs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LegacyCWAL on April 17, 2010, 01:04:24 pm
Quote from: Snall on April 17, 2010, 08:32:53 am
My last 2 forts I OFFERED instead of TRADED.  Yeah, that's never always Fun.  So I'm writing this now since another trader just came to remind me to TRADE ffs.

Fixed for you  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PeterTheEvilBastard on April 17, 2010, 05:35:02 pm
Holy shit... One of my dwarves just failed a mood... She had a baby with her at the time. She first broke every single bone in its body. Then choked it to death. There was blood everywhere... I dont think I wanna play this anymore. It just got too fucking disturbing... NOT!

 But seriously, this IS fucking disturbing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niloc on April 18, 2010, 04:05:25 am
Well, I've been playing this game off and on for the last year or so, my experiences:

First fort ever:
"Oh, yay, I got everything working!  Ok, so I'm supposed to press this button to start digging... Oh, wait, what does this say?  Crap, I can't figure out the controls."  All said 10 seconds before my group were attacked by some unexpected wildlife and slaughtered.

Second fort ever:
"Ok, so I need defenses, let's channel this river over here." *Goes down a z-level* "Wait, my farms were right there.  And I wasn't paying attention long enough to have failed to quarantine my only stairwell! Well, redo!"

Last fort played:
"Yay, I've been out here a year, I have 37 dwarfs, and a stable, functioning society.  No one's unhappy, I have a source of shell, miners just reported a coal vein, and I just built a wall around our primary entrance.  Things are good!"  Then an ambush of 2 goblin squads appears, so I remove the up parts of my main entrance stairs, sealing off the fort from the surface, and locked the only remaining door.  After about 10 minutes, I couldn't find the ambushers (as I had neglected to check the units list), so I unlocked the door.  10 seconds and a rush at the dead elves' clothes nearby later 34 dwarfs lay dead, and 3 miners were still as happy as can be way at the bottom, mining out our 50th bedroom.

Well, that was until they walked outside and all simultaneously went berserk.  *sigh*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thornet on April 18, 2010, 04:53:14 am
I've had a really annoying animal problem lately, with creatures like foxes and gophers just running around everywhere being a nuisance. I don't have any hunters yet and I was tired of sending my 9 militia out to kill stinking gophers every ten minutes.

The latest nuisance was a deer just attacking whoever it please. I sent my sheriff after it since she actually had some combat skill under her belt. Turns she was really slow though, since she chased the deer all around fort, had a nap, then chased it all around again. I was watching them run around in circles for a while, with the sheriff leaping this way and that dodging the charges of the deer.

Then all of a sudden I couldn't see my sheriff anymore. I used the unit list to zoom to her and noticed that she was now at the bottom of the lake with a million injuries. Turns when when I was doing some digging I left a tile of wall open to the great yonder (I'm living in a cavern). According to the report she dodged the deer, then fell 9 z levels into the lake. *facepalm*

I probably could have rescued her too if the other dwarves had taken the time to stop eating and drinking to bother doing some mining. She was drowning, then swimming, then drowning again for a long time, then died of blood loss.

And the stupid freaking deer was still there later, dancing around the hole waiting for another. I waited a very long time for it to leave then jumped it with my militia.

Since now I have a ton of cage traps at my fort entrance, any deer I catch now get to have the same experience she did. I have two living down there already.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on April 18, 2010, 01:26:04 pm
In the arena I had set up a massive 200 vs 200 battle with 5 different equipment loadouts and skill levels on each side.  I start the fighting and sit back to watch the fun.

It turns out the 200 vs 200 team fight I was expecting and set up with complicated formations and ranks, turned into a 400 man Free For all.  I forgot to set teams.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wh1tefang12 on April 18, 2010, 05:22:10 pm
Carp, why isn't that trog dieing... all his bones are broken and his organs damaged. My entire army is fighting with training axes!.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rorcayt on April 18, 2010, 05:43:40 pm
Just as i had discovered that i had run out of barrels and wood, a dwarf lit ablaze by a dragon rushed into my massive, limitless booze stockpile (not quite), The steam/fire/pure pressure killed the dragon, but the pressure made my fortress larger, 7 z level/layers of stone in every direction.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rorcayt on April 18, 2010, 06:55:33 pm
Finally mining up stone in a glacier, And discovering a troll infested carvern. Lucky enough, I had had a recent cat-splosion. Dropping at least 50 cats into the pit, i had made it somewhat safe, but because the cats were working with the elves, not for long....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on April 18, 2010, 07:02:59 pm
Quote from: Rorcayt on April 18, 2010, 05:43:40 pm
Just as i had discovered that i had run out of barrels and wood, a dwarf lit ablaze by a dragon rushed into my massive, limitless booze stockpile (not quite), The steam/fire/pure pressure killed the dragon, but the pressure made my fortress larger, 7 z level/layers of stone in every direction.
You can seriously make a fortress expanding pressure bomb out of ungodly amounts of booze?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rorcayt on April 18, 2010, 07:38:17 pm
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on April 18, 2010, 07:02:59 pm
Quote from: Rorcayt on April 18, 2010, 05:43:40 pm
Just as i had discovered that i had run out of barrels and wood, a dwarf lit ablaze by a dragon rushed into my massive, limitless booze stockpile (not quite), The steam/fire/pure pressure killed the dragon, but the pressure made my fortress larger, 7 z level/layers of stone in every direction.
You can seriously make a fortress expanding pressure bomb out of ungodly amounts of booze?
I really dont want to think of other possibility's....




Im going to be filling this thread up...............................
While i was typing that response 7/ 9 remaining dwarfs died of thirst in the fortress where i used cats as a dungeon clearing military....
Sadly, i could not get to the damp soil soon enough.
Next time: more cats. Many more cats/ dogs. more booze too.

Edit: All my face-palms today were booze induced.... somebody help me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on April 18, 2010, 08:11:06 pm
So, I forgot to buy some silk from the dwarf caravan when they came by at the end of the year, and the middle of next year my bone carver went fey and needed cloth and bone.  So, I built a wall around the shop he claimed,a dns et a door so I could lock it when he went insane.  He proceeded to do so.

face palm #1: I didn't lock the door as soon as I knew I wouldn't be getting that cloth.
face palm #2: I hit space to pause when he went berserk, which unpaused the announcement- he got out before I could pause again.
face palm #3: This guy is one of my recruits, and he's decked out in iron armor and an exceptional iron axe, and I didn't think to have my other dwarfs strip his equipment.

So, at this point, I left him to run around a bit and kill everyone before I activated my military, he look out plenty of dumb animals and a couple other dwarfs without a scratch, then chased a horse out the front door and halfway across the map.  Then he sat there until my military I finally activated ran after him and took him down.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flamester_ on April 18, 2010, 11:24:14 pm
Quote from: Greiger on April 18, 2010, 01:26:04 pm
In the arena I had set up a massive 200 vs 200 battle with 5 different equipment loadouts and skill levels on each side.  I start the fighting and sit back to watch the fun.

It turns out the 200 vs 200 team fight I was expecting and set up with complicated formations and ranks, turned into a 400 man Free For all.  I forgot to set teams.
Who won?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cardinal on April 19, 2010, 12:30:45 am
Urist McMrRogers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chronas on April 19, 2010, 01:56:27 am
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on April 18, 2010, 07:02:59 pm
Quote from: Rorcayt on April 18, 2010, 05:43:40 pm
Just as i had discovered that i had run out of barrels and wood, a dwarf lit ablaze by a dragon rushed into my massive, limitless booze stockpile (not quite), The steam/fire/pure pressure killed the dragon, but the pressure made my fortress larger, 7 z level/layers of stone in every direction.
You can seriously make a fortress expanding pressure bomb out of ungodly amounts of booze?
actually no. natural walls and constructions are invincible unless caved in (or mined/deconstructed), in fact booze doesn't even explode. the barrel itself is what burns and the 'explosion' is a cloud of smoke and steam that gives minor burn wounds.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zaerosz on April 19, 2010, 02:15:43 am
Well, then explain the explosion.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lt2p on April 19, 2010, 03:36:51 am
Just now had a facepalm moment. I was just trying out the new version, building farms. I figured out how to irrigate them, that went ok. So I gave the constuction order, but nobody came to build it. I made sure all the right labors were on, but still nobody would make the farm. Then migrants came. I still had enough meat and fish from embark, but the booze supples were dwindling fast. I was panicking, fearing alcohol shortages and tantrums. I quickly started gathering all the plants I could and started making prickle berry wine- bad booze is better than no booze.
It was about then I remembered I had lock up the farms when irrigating them to prevent floods and hadn't unlocked them.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH@#&%$&@(*#%$#&*@*&#*%*@!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chronas on April 19, 2010, 05:27:00 am
Quote from: Zaerosz on April 19, 2010, 02:15:43 am
Well, then explain the explosion.
you explain it, your claims defy the limitations of the game. the only explanation i could come up with (which is pretty damn tenuous anyway) was that your stockpile was being held up only by supports and the dragon (which is a building destroyer -and fireimmune too btw) could have knocked them down in the flaming confusion. that's pretty damn unlikely even in an above ground fort unless you have some major design flaws.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on April 19, 2010, 10:50:58 am
Quote from: Flamester_ on April 18, 2010, 11:24:14 pm
Quote from: Greiger on April 18, 2010, 01:26:04 pm
Who won?

Nobody even of note.  A spearman wielding a modded lance.  I'm not sure if it was one of the low or high level ones though.  Everybody gained all kinds of skill in the fighting and the only indication of who it wasn't, was that he wasn't a commander because he was wearing iron instead of steel.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tcei on April 19, 2010, 04:16:16 pm
<hurf why do the forums hate me?>
So my first suscessful fort in the 2010 version  is was running along nicely in its 5th year, just shy of 100 dwarves. The layout of my fort above ground was a small tower-road rising from what would one day become a lake, with a bridge leading to solid land. Being nervous about how effective my military would  be I had built weapon traps containing several assorted training weapons to soften the goblins up for my military.

Turns out this is a bad idea when you're still using the future lake bed, as weapon traps will catapult the invading goblins, unharmed, down into the middle of your very shocked dwarves. Two back to back ambushes of hammer goblins later and I was down to a handful of tantruming dwarves, and some very satisfied looking goblins.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on April 19, 2010, 05:41:00 pm
Quote from: Tcei on April 19, 2010, 04:16:16 pm
<hurf why do the forums hate me?>
So my first suscessful fort in the 2010 version  is was running along nicely in its 5th year, just shy of 100 dwarves. The layout of my fort above ground was a small tower-road rising from what would one day become a lake, with a bridge leading to solid land. Being nervous about how effective my military would  be I had built weapon traps containing several assorted training weapons to soften the goblins up for my military.

Turns out this is a bad idea when you're still using the future lake bed, as weapon traps will catapult the invading goblins, unharmed, down into the middle of your very shocked dwarves. Two back to back ambushes of hammer goblins later and I was down to a handful of tantruming dwarves, and some very satisfied looking goblins.

That's epic! Now replace shallow lake bed with dwarfs with 20z pit with a pool of lava. :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neyvn on April 19, 2010, 11:01:03 pm
http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=54872.msg1179819#msg1179819

Enough said...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TigerPlushie on April 20, 2010, 03:59:48 am
Alright... this was very... very... VERY painful!

I start out in a rather moderate setting, but everything goes totally awesome! My fortress goes deep enough with hitting a cave, the stocks say, that there is a mysterious adamantine rapier located "somewhere", my planter gets moody, claims a metalsmithy and produces a gold chain mail shirt AND becomes legendary armorer (*gasp*), the waterfall on my stairway works just excellent....

...then: My dwarves refuse to dump the stones from the open-air section of my farm. I dug down a lot of levels for it to work so I can plant aboveground crops.... but the enormous amount of stone remains untouched... but only the ones from the dug down area. the other ones were dumped correctly. Building a farm on them had "some" of them removed, but the farmer just hanged himself trying to free the farm plot to be. Since it was late and I was already frustrated from an earlier failed fortress, i abandoned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Robsoie on April 20, 2010, 01:09:52 pm
I embarked on a glacier, i knew my dwarves chances or survival were about 0, but i was not counting them to survive, just build the basic fortress layout before dying from thirst so i could have a new dwarf expedition reclaim it and try to find a cave with water.

In that second expedition, i was then busy marking all those hundred of clothes and item as "reclaim" (boy how much that is annoying to micro manage...), checked there was not too much yeti and bear zombies (my previous expedition killed several) and left the game running while i was browsing internet.

Then after a while i checked how things were going on and noticed the immaculate white surface of the glacier was full of big red trails that looked to me blood.
I looked everywhere and every sub menus to see what was going on, who died, who attacked that insanely and where were all the body chunks responsible of that amount of blood.
Nowhere to be seen.

Then i checked with K .... it was just dwarf ale.
(http://img704.imageshack.us/img704/182/clipboard01q.th.gif) (http://img704.imageshack.us/img704/182/clipboard01q.gif)
Damn, got me nearly into panic mode for nothing lol.

(though the whole expedition and migrants all died from thirst too, as i was never able to find those damned caves)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tenth Speed Writer on April 20, 2010, 03:05:54 pm
Quote from: Tenth Speed Writer on April 14, 2010, 03:07:05 pm
So, I started a new fortress today..

Among my earlier jobs, is to get some statues erected to shiny the place up until the grand hall can be finished.



The first one my mason creates?

A dwarf being struck down by an elf.


Meet Unib McBeardless.

Secondary facepalm:

I assigned my carpenter to put the blasphemous thing on a wooden platform over the river, deconstruct the tile connecting it, and let it swim with the carp.

Alas, the carpenter, one of the few truly useful members of my fortress, sent himself into the river along with it. A miner was close enough by to dig a ramp for him to escape on, but decided at the last moment that a tasty drink would be a much better idea.

The carpenter, as soon as I've drained the lake, will get an engraved tomb in the hillside.
The miner, who as it turns out is also the mason responsible, will have the statue re-built beside his grave.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Meanmelter on April 20, 2010, 03:10:40 pm
Failing to remember dwarfs claim rooms  by themself, so  making like 40 rooms at once blows doing it manually!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: VerdantSF on April 20, 2010, 03:42:41 pm
Quote from: Meanmelter on April 20, 2010, 03:10:40 pm
Failing to remember dwarfs claim rooms  by themself, so  making like 40 rooms at once blows doing it manually!
OMG, I've been manually assigning all this time!  As a new player (only a week in), I had no idea.  I need to read the DF wiki more closely!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cardinal on April 20, 2010, 05:06:24 pm
They're not so good at it right now.  Keep an eye out, or you'll have a guy end up working so hard that he forgets to claim a room.  These new dwarves are all Office Space-style workaholics. 

Ummmm, yeah, Urist, we're gonna need to go ahead and keep smelting that galena until next month, okay?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on April 20, 2010, 10:08:33 pm
Quote from: Robsoie on April 20, 2010, 01:09:52 pm


In that second expedition, i was then busy marking all those hundred of clothes and item as "reclaim" (boy how much that is annoying to micro manage...

You HAVE found out about  (d)esignate->b->(c)laim  haven't you? I just put the curser in one corner, then use the shift+arrow keys to goto the other side of the map, and reclaim whole z-levels like that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pheonix_RE on April 20, 2010, 11:31:06 pm
Let's see...
1st: After draining a murky pool, for some reason I decided to dig a path to it to my main fort. Given that the method of draining it was building a channel out of one side so it could drain out naturally... I realized what I had done when some goblins tried to come in through that way. Also, when my fortress had degenerated into a tantrum spiral, I decided to flood it. With my cistern. It was only when it started calming down and when I got messages such as 'Urist McMayor has died of thirst' did I realize that I kinda doomed my fortress to being mostly underwater.
2nd: Half of my dwarfs dying to a single sturgeon. Note to self: don't build a well directly over a lake next time.
Current: 'Urist Mcimmigrant has died of thirst'. Turns out he had walled him/herself in when I was making a wall to cover the massive hole I had made to facilitate punching through an aquifer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Talanic on April 21, 2010, 01:22:34 am
Tiger -

Check options under O - then look at refuse management.  If this was the open-air farm, then the dwarves will ignore dumping orders on it as long as they're set to ignore refuse that's outside.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TigerPlushie on April 21, 2010, 06:56:05 am
Quote from: Talanic on April 21, 2010, 01:22:34 am
Tiger -

Check options under O - then look at refuse management.  If this was the open-air farm, then the dwarves will ignore dumping orders on it as long as they're set to ignore refuse that's outside.

..........really?

If that is true, i'd really like to facepalm, but I'm afraid that i'll separate my head from my throat.


ALSO:
When creating a drain at the border of your map... make sure, that you have carved the fortifications BEFORE you tap the river...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Safe-Keeper on April 21, 2010, 03:17:03 pm
Playing Dig Dwarfier. Ten or so orcs attack. I realize the levers to the drawbridges across my vast artificial chasm do not work due to a series of fuck-ups from my side, and the Orcs charge across the bridges. My defensive ballista fires a single arrow, and misses. I order my dwarves to make a last stand... and find a whole squad fast asleep ::).

Chose to "Succumb to the invasion" at that point.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Virodhi on April 22, 2010, 09:43:55 am
Since I've been playing for less than a week, I've been getting "Oh, so THAT'S how it's done" moments every ten minutes or so.

I'm pfutzing around with 40d and have just found a magma pool...and it's not even autumn of my first year yet! Surely this is a sign of the gods' favour. Since I feel all proud at having learned how to set up magma forges, I start digging the grid when... "You have broken into a peculiar chamber through the base of the mountain." Well, groovy. I've never seen that message before.

Wiser souls than I can see where this is going, yes?

The hole at the bottom of the chamber is giving me the jibblies, however, so I build a door in the tunnel, lock it, and then put up a wall outside the door for good measure (shut up, cowardice has served me well in the past). But then I go up one level and look...there's people. And they look all sad. Well, we're not having any of that. We'll save them, give them some food and a warm place to stay, and then we'll wall up that tunnel as well.

So yeah.

Stuff in the dephts is cloaked until you come face to hideous face with it, apparently. Who knew?

Today's lesson? Altruism doesn't pay. Ever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on April 22, 2010, 10:03:27 am
Quickly pasted a duplicate but non controllable dwarf civ to allow them to trade with custom fortress civs.  I generate a world and wait for the entire thing to gen.

That's odd, dwarven cities?  A lot of them.  Hell they have taken over 80% of the world!  The only place not overrun by the mighty dwarven army is a group of elves isolated inside a mountain valley!  Holy crap!

Turns out I wasn't paying attention to where I put the 2nd dwarf raw.  I stuck the entire dwarven raw entry right smack dab in the middle of my Dracon race's entity file.  Somehow that created a superrace that easily took over all accessible parts of the world. Despite both races being rather defensive normally.  Beware the short, scaly, bearded, winged, booze loving, lizard race.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: immibis on April 22, 2010, 11:23:20 pm
Quote from: TigerPlushie on April 20, 2010, 03:59:48 am
Alright... this was very... very... VERY painful!

I start out in a rather moderate setting, but everything goes totally awesome! My fortress goes deep enough with hitting a cave, the stocks say, that there is a mysterious adamantine rapier located "somewhere", my planter gets moody, claims a metalsmithy and produces a gold chain mail shirt AND becomes legendary armorer (*gasp*), the waterfall on my stairway works just excellent....

...then: My dwarves refuse to dump the stones from the open-air section of my farm. I dug down a lot of levels for it to work so I can plant aboveground crops.... but the enormous amount of stone remains untouched... but only the ones from the dug down area. the other ones were dumped correctly. Building a farm on them had "some" of them removed, but the farmer just hanged himself trying to free the farm plot to be. Since it was late and I was already frustrated from an earlier failed fortress, i abandoned.
Turn off "dwarves ignore outside refuse". (press O-R-O)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kg333 on April 23, 2010, 12:05:09 am
Quote from: Virodhi on April 22, 2010, 09:43:55 am
The hole at the bottom of the chamber is giving me the jibblies, however, so I build a door in the tunnel, lock it, and then put up a wall outside the door for good measure (shut up, cowardice has served me well in the past).

Hehe, good story.  This particular bit was a good idea, though...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

KG
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mustyoshi on April 23, 2010, 03:13:18 pm
I genned 5 worlds before I realized to make custom ones, I had to choose it at the menu >.<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: daedin on April 23, 2010, 06:39:27 pm
i decided to register to share this. I really had to. I am not a newbie, this is not my first fortress, and i just cannot believe what i just did.

I dug to the brook in the first year of my fortress. And a whole floor was intended to be flooded, then drained and serve a farmlands - for most of the year i focused on that - and all the farms were dug, floodgates placed linked to a lever, i even had taken the time (figuring i had it before winter) to dig the interesting ores along the tunnel to the brook and re-wall it's sides. Grates were present at the start of the tunnel, everything was perfect for a late-autumn flood and starting the cultures during winter.

I ordered my miners to channel the last space to the brook... and nothing.

I just dug all that a whole level ABOVE the brook  :o.

*facepalm*

I usually plan ahead for that - i have a gem cutter in my starting dorfs just in case i need to trade a lot with the first caravan. we're at the start of autumn, i still have time to cut all the gems i've found while digging this, so i should be able to get that corkscrew i need to make a pump to fix this.

At the very second this thought was formed in my mind, the game auto-pauses: Urist McGemCutter has been possessed!

*facepalm*

I had no craftsdwarf. I select a peasant migrant i just had, make him a bone carver, create a crafter's workshop. Urist McGemCutter goes there, as planned, and requires bones and leather.

Ok - i can manage that. I order a dorf to become a butcher, build a butcher's workshop. Look around for slaughterable animals. I have a tame donkey, and three named cats. Slaughter the donkey, ask the butcher to be a tanner, tan the hide... Urist McPossessed wants MORE bones and MORE leather!

 :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on April 23, 2010, 06:46:02 pm
You said that you're at the start of autmn, right? Then you should still have a chance to save that dwarf if the caravan hasn't gotten there yet. Just hope they are bringing some animals along.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gareth on April 23, 2010, 10:20:13 pm
Literally only been playing a couple of days, wanting to carve my hands to pieces but loving every moment of it. Somehow reading about all the face palm moments is the biggest motivator of all! Really have discovered how failure can be fun =D

First major fail though was flooding 3z of my 4z fortress... Apparently, I didn't quite understand how water works ^_^;; Flooding included some rather nasty fish too. Miners were goners, no spare picks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Silvit on April 24, 2010, 01:33:02 am
having 40 dwarfs walk off a cliff,
i got a Urist McLemming has collided with an obstacle
i paused and went to investigate and found that my dwarfs were trying to retrive some loot from the top of a waterfall, were pushed off and fell 16 z-levels to their deaths.
the bottom of the waterfall is littered with their exploded corpes.
their last thought was "Has been confronted by a lovely waterfall lately"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Libelnon on April 24, 2010, 08:42:45 am
Excuse the long narrative here, but I've always been a bit of an obsessive storyteller. ^^'

This was back in v0.28.
(EDIT: by that I mean 40d. ^^')

Having started one of my fortresses with a slow and incompetent miner, I accidentally managed to get her to channel a tunnel into a aquifer on the map I had embarked on. Needless to say, she drowned. I wasn't put off though, and proceeded to build my fortress above ground, next to the coast. My carpenter spent most of his time building the 'lower class' buildings early on, purely from wood, but after I had a mason come through and the town hit 50 inhabitants, the need for noble buildings with stone walls arose. No biggy, I kept to my usual outdoor design of 'stone walls, wood floors'. My carpenter, who had had a long break, was now a grand master and had made hundreds of beds in his 'time off'.
It was partway through the third year, and having been on an island all this time with little in terms of goods being produced, immigrants were coming slowly. I had hit about 65 dwarves by now, and all seemed to be going well. I had prepared a grand extension to my dining hall, by refurbishing the lower level into a group of kitchens with a central stockpile for produced food, and converting the basement into a large stockpile completely for the use of foodstuffs ready to be used for the kitchens. Above that, would be a tower of suitable dining areas, with a large central opening that allowed dwarves to look down directly into the kitchen. It was a megaconstruction within the megaconstruction of the actual fortress (which was built to look like a medieval castle), and was built around an idea of mine for 'the ideal restaurant'.
Part way through the construction of the roof, and after a large influx of migrants, I decided to expand it upwards by another floor. Hence, the central section needed to be removed, to keep the feel of the building. I ordered the centre of the roof to be dismantled, and the 30 idle peasants of the time immediately rushed to the building to dismantle it.
Of course, 30 dwarves trying to dismantle the same area of flooring is not a good idea. And so I found out.
The dwarves who arrived first began to dismantle their tiles, and then others came in, standing on tiles that were being dismantled, to try and dismantle their own.
It was a spectacular performace, I think. 30 dwarves went to the roof that day, only 13 came down. The others all lay in crumpled heaps in the centre of the food stockpile, crying out in agony. Because of my severe bucket shortage, and the fact both of my carpenters (including the grand master) were lying with broken legs in the food stock pile, only 5 of the dwarves who plunged through that hole actually survived.
And the most unfortunate victim? Poor little fluffy, the resident kitten, had a falling section of the floor hit her on the way down.

As of the future of that fortress, the fort was later abandoned when the bronze colossus who had taken residence on the other side of the island got a bit sick of his noisy neighbours, and went on a rampage, sneaking in through the hole in the wall in the noble quarter. The poorly trained castle guards and quickly drafted militia became either snacks or toothpicks, and the colssus went on to kill 50 something of the 90-odd fortress residents of the time. And he destroyed the stills. Meaning no more booze. Having never actually been killed, the colossus remained in the ruin for a full year, hanging around the well in the centre of the noble district. Booze stockpiles dwindled, and eventually it became obvious that all my dwarves would die of thirst. On the 14th obsidian, 16, the dwarves abandoned that fortress for good.

The save file was later lost when I formatted my harddrive to make way for a new operating system... Sorry guys  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zeke47 on April 24, 2010, 10:37:41 am
my current fortress i started off digging down to -140th floor right away to make my base by lava sea, my dwarves where getting all mad about not enough to drink and i was still preparing my brewery area so i decided to dig down from my farm project from 20 tiles above, i built the tunnel one spot north of my dining room and then went 2 below and under the wall so i would have a well that was deeper then 1. I opened the floodgate to fill in the well and low and behold there is this thing called preasure because of gravity *facepalm* it took a long time before i could clean the mess up
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: IKillZombieWolves on April 24, 2010, 11:21:26 am
Well ok, I made a new fort after having to abonden one I forget why though. So I made the fort, got the trade depot up first thing and got everything ready for trade so I could get a large amount of food for my dwarves so I didnt need to worry about hunger so I didn't even bother with the farm plots just relying on gathering until the merchants came and i was like ok lets trade the rock crafts with them and then when i opened up the move items to depot menu i was like "Why are there no rock crafts, I had them ordered to make them!"  I looked around the map and found i forgot the most important thing.... I had nothing to trade for food. So that fortress just kinda was an embarassing fail.   :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rasta69 on April 24, 2010, 09:05:18 pm
Hey there. Relatively new dwarfer and this happend in my third semi succseful fortress (ie i survived long enough to get dining room kitchens farms etc I'm not aiming very high to start with xD) So I'd finaly built my steel bridge with which I would strike fear into the goblins and set up the levers. I'd set up a rudimentary millitary, a few talented and proficient axe dwarfs (but i dont know how to get them to carry equipment at all times so eh) and a couple of burrows. Anyway que my first goblin ambush! Turn on the alarm and desperatly yell at my dwarfs to pull the lever. Long story short goblins come in and massacre my population and the millitary as they run to pick up their weapons. Turns out I hadn't included the lever inside the burrow's designation :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bralbaard on April 25, 2010, 01:38:01 pm
This just happened in Woundcolored, my current Fortress (screenshot explains it all)


(http://img293.imageshack.us/img293/8411/shortlived.jpg)



As the elves would say: "Well that was short-lived.."

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vercingetorix on April 25, 2010, 07:22:01 pm
Well, the coffin-making industry's going to have a GREAT quarter...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Karnewarrior on April 25, 2010, 07:41:38 pm
Quote from: Vercingetorix on April 25, 2010, 07:22:01 pm
Well, the coffin-making industry's going to have a GREAT quarter...
It's DF, that's implied.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vercingetorix on April 25, 2010, 07:53:56 pm
Quote from: Karnewarrior on April 25, 2010, 07:41:38 pm
It's DF, that's implied.

I don't know, a lot of my dwarfs die in ways that make their bodies quite difficult to retrieve...

Except the one time where there was a forest fire and a burning corpse ultimately set half the fort on fire and destroyed the booze stockpile.  No problem burying what was left when that one worked itself out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on April 25, 2010, 09:29:20 pm
Been a bit of a bloody autumn and winter at Honestcraft. A forgotten beast rampaged through my cavern farm, destroying it and killing five dwarves before my militia captain showed up and slew it with a single blow. Barely had the dead buried and the beast butchered when the dwarven caravan arrived. I start hauling stuff to the depot and then

An Ambush! Curse Them!

A speargoblin and four archers start pouring bolts into my dwarves. Luckily the outpost liason was there to take most of the damage. I only lost three dwarves before the militia commander slaughters the disarmed archers.

Why did it take the guy so long to show up the first time? He was busy trying to get out of the locked barracks the first time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shurhaian on April 25, 2010, 09:38:12 pm
I'm sure someone's done this sort of thing previously in the thread, but...

Recently set out on a fairly nice embark site. Plenty of resources, flux, sedimentary layer, etc. Part of it had an aquifer, but at least one biome on the map did not, so I had a way past it. No problem.

I dig toward the south side of the map, and I suddenly encounter damp stone. I look around, don't see anything obvious; look on the level above, but there's no sign of a lake or such there that'd be making it damp.

I think "Huh, that's odd," and re-designate for digging.

Results are predictably wet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: psychologicalshock on April 25, 2010, 09:45:58 pm
Quote from: IKillZombieWolves on April 24, 2010, 11:21:26 am
Well ok, I made a new fort after having to abonden one I forget why though. So I made the fort, got the trade depot up first thing and got everything ready for trade so I could get a large amount of food for my dwarves so I didnt need to worry about hunger so I didn't even bother with the farm plots just relying on gathering until the merchants came and i was like ok lets trade the rock crafts with them and then when i opened up the move items to depot menu i was like "Why are there no rock crafts, I had them ordered to make them!"  I looked around the map and found i forgot the most important thing.... I had nothing to trade for food. So that fortress just kinda was an embarassing fail.   :'(

Lol you'll probably feel dumb when I tell you this:
I was in a similar situation because I didn't have rock to begin with (no rock above the aquifer) and so when the caravan came I simply seized all the food and paid off the debt next year with offerings.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on April 25, 2010, 11:59:44 pm
So...

I have a new fort on a stream that cuts through a hill, and my entrance is in the face of the hill that the stream cut.

I figure, I should channel away some of the stream to act as a natural defense, that's a smart idea!

I channel away most of the stream, being careful to designate 1 square wide strips so my miners don't get their feet wet, and everything is fine.  I leave one strip unchanneled to allow outside access until I get the bridge built.

I also have a quantum stone dump right at the entrance in a tile that's next to the stream.  I just dug out the main dining hall, and I mass designate the limestone in it to be dumped.  I noticed the dwarfs doing something odd... HEY! stop throwing my limestone in to the stream!  face palm.  I forgot that dwarfs will throw any dumped item down a z-level if there's a place to do so next to the garbage zone where they can.  No big deal!  I have a ton more lime stone if I need it.

So, I get the bridge finished, and I designate that last strip of land, which is next to the bridge, to channel.  One of my starting miners, and my expedition leader responds to the call, and...

Did you know, the stream surface can cave in if it's unsupported, despite the fact that channeling it away produces stone as though you had dug out solid rock?  Did you know that a bridge cannot support said stream surface?  Did you know, a dwarf mining out a 4 tile strip from east to west will mine the west most square, then stand on the third square from the right while mining out the remaining two squares?  Guess who decided to go for a swim while unconscious?  And, of course, when he died, he screwed up all my noble positions because he was the expedition leader.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Dakoth on April 26, 2010, 12:04:42 am
Ooh, good one with the stream.

For future reference, bridges don't really support anything. Not even dwarves, the inebriated morons are always tottering over the edge.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Canalan on April 26, 2010, 12:49:04 am
Some retarded dorf got past my epic safeguards on my fail-safe lever and pulled it. The map collapsed.
See, my fail-safe levers utilize an extremely work intensive method of self destruct. Everything (really, everything) but the control room collapses when it is pulled. After about an hour of lag, it cleared. Urist McRetard was one of five survivors out of an original 230.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ElthMysterius on April 26, 2010, 02:34:09 am
Quote from: Silvit on April 24, 2010, 01:33:02 am
the bottom of the waterfall is littered with their exploded corpes.
their last thought was "Has been confronted by a lovely waterfall lately"

I am so sigging this
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bishop36 on April 26, 2010, 05:52:20 am
This just happened in my favorite fort in its fourth year. It was a pretty vertical fort, the kind I have been fond of making lately. I had decided to take the easy way out when digging out a square for a farm parth, I just channeled around it. I forgot all about the cave-in function and the epic dinning room full of partying dwarves, two levels of bedrooms, and livestock hallway containing all my cows, a milker and a farmers workshop right bellow the cave-in.

37 dwarves, 12 cows, and a cat died in a few seconds. Luckily all the ones that were friends died together and the rest didn't care much because they were in my "other" fort and didn't know any of them. (Exploration burrow)

I did a double face palm, as this is not the first time I have done this. :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Trowzers on April 26, 2010, 06:39:15 am
This isn't really my facepalm - it's more a bug facepalm... but it's still Fun.

I have a fairly successful fortress going right next to an ocean where there is only a tiny amount of aquifer, and I've found enough iron ore and flux to make steel weapons and armor.  I have two squads of military that can tear apart ambushes with no worries (well, one guy lost a finger).  No seiges yet. Fortress population is nearing 100.  No elves exist on the map to worry about so I've been cutting down trees merrily for charcoal as I haven't dug down to the magma yet.

I'd just been made a barony and was feeling up to a challenge, so I've been poking further into the caverns, past the place I'd walled off for my farms, hoping to try GCS trapping, or maybe a run-in with the local cave fish civilization, or perhaps even a forgotten beast or two.  I leave the game running while I make a cup of tea, and when I get back the screen has frozen and there's a horribly mishapen red beast at the edge of the map (I'm using the Mayday tileset).  "Yay! A forgotten beast or megabeast!" I think gleefully.  But there's no big popup announcing the visitor.  So I use V to check it out:
"Sapi Imeysopeya Thene Equuiy:
A huge skink twisted into humanoid form with external ribs.  It squirms and fidgets.  It's mauve scales are round and overlapping.  Beware it's deadly dust!

She is fat."

How very unflattering, I think.  But still, I shall smite her!
Except...
She's my human diplomat!!!  She has the building destroyer tag and she seems to have taken offense at her description as she's now running around my fortress sucking up all my doors and workshops, showing no signs of actually wanting to meet with my Baron.  And my dwarves just go about my business because she's a friendly!

:(

Any suggestions on how to smash a diplomat with a building destroyer tag? Especially when it's already in your fortress :/

Edit: it seems to have stalled in the middle of my fortress. but not before destroying the artifact quern (my ONLY artifact furniture) in front of my dining room >:/
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkflagrance on April 26, 2010, 01:15:17 pm
Quote from: Trowzers on April 26, 2010, 06:39:15 am

Any suggestions on how to smash a diplomat with a building destroyer tag? Especially when it's already in your fortress :/

Edit: it seems to have stalled in the middle of my fortress. but not before destroying the artifact quern (my ONLY artifact furniture) in front of my dining room >:/

Since it was lured inside, you could always wall it it in, then prepare a cave-in trap on top of it or alternatively leave it there to rot a la Cask of Amontillado.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lanceleoghauni on April 26, 2010, 01:57:55 pm
Clearly those Humans Worship the Elder Gods.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ziffs on April 26, 2010, 02:21:36 pm
Just learned you can build walls en masse, go to do it in my game, realize i can't.

version 38c. ARGGG. Can I update without losing my savegame?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Orkel on April 26, 2010, 04:27:02 pm
Quote from: ziffs on April 26, 2010, 02:21:36 pm
Just learned you can build walls en masse, go to do it in my game, realize i can't.

version 38c. ARGGG. Can I update without losing my savegame?

You should just jump into 2010 and start a new fort. 38c is veeeeeeeery old, from early 08, and lacks a lot of features and bugfixes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Corona688 on April 26, 2010, 04:39:26 pm
I remember my first drawbridge.  Elves come to trade, pull up the drawbridge...  they ignore it and walk inside anyway.  Oh, things can WALK DIAGONALLY?  Dammit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eric Blank on April 26, 2010, 05:49:12 pm
One of my fortresses in 40D;
I had built a small but very wealthy fortress with over 80 citizens, and never remembered (with my agonizingly short attention span) to put the gate up in the hallway connecting the walled up fortress exterior from the outside world. Goblins came, 3 times. The third time, they brought 3 plattons, one on beak dogs, the first two ran straight at the entrance from the west, where they met my military. They did battle, and my wrestlers (yes, nothing but wrestlers and crossbowmen) sent them into full retreat within only a few seconds. Then, while they were chasing them back to the edge of the map, the rest of the baddies on beak dogs swooped in from the rear (by going around to the front) and killed the couple of guys that had returned to their posts, then promptly charged the rest of my militia. At the end of the fight, I had one crossbowman and one very badly injured wrestler left.
I had started with a military of 30  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Corona688 on April 26, 2010, 05:49:51 pm
Having a newborn child fall down the well and drown right on top of a water-driven pressure plate, thereby somehow causing it to not have water, opening floodgates wide to refill the pool.  Death by laser guided baby.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ziffs on April 26, 2010, 08:16:08 pm
Quote from: Orkel on April 26, 2010, 04:27:02 pm
You should just jump into 2010 and start a new fort. 38c is veeeeeeeery old, from early 08, and lacks a lot of features and bugfixes.

If i'm jumping forward, I'll probably go to 40d. As much as I want burrows and stuff, I can barely handly the military training in 38c. I heard 2010 is complicated as hell.

There'll be another facepalm when I realize that's a mistake :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Arkenstone on April 26, 2010, 08:42:05 pm
I remember my first Face Palm Moment...

It was my first fort to last more than two years, and my third artifact in said fort.  My gem cutter had gotten the mood, and I was all hyped about getting a giant gem or something like that.  I even went to forbidding extremes to make sure it was made out of the best stuff possible.  So, the big moment comes around, and a get:
Spoiler: A Tsavorite... (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: The true Irony of the situation? (click to show/hide)
I then experienced Excessive Fun by Goblin, and had to go back to 1 minute before the mood was assigned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkflagrance on April 26, 2010, 10:24:17 pm
Artifact barrels are awesome. What could be better than drinking beer out of a giant carved gem with a picture of itself on it?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shardok on April 27, 2010, 01:01:50 am
Quote from: darkflagrance on April 26, 2010, 10:24:17 pm
Artifact barrels are awesome. What could be better than drinking beer out of a giant carved gem with a picture of itself on it?
Drinking spiked elven wine out of it and looking at the pictures.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eric Blank on April 27, 2010, 02:02:19 am
Facepunch.com is a better description of what i just did.

Screwing around with the raws so dragons can show up at any time.  >:( Everybody is dead.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkflagrance on April 27, 2010, 03:48:31 am
Tragedy struck.

Sieged by spiders modded into my game, I lured them into my underground trade depot, where they fed on the bait war-bulls while my militia captain and his squad shot them from afar. When the spiders were dead, I ordered the lower gate opened, and the bridge connecting my fort to the outside sealed, so that I could dispose of the corpses.

However, I forgot that one of my crossbowmen had been positioned on that bridge to snipe any stragglers from behind. She and her one year-old son fell off the bridge, where she made a valiant last stand against the remaining spiders until the both of them were torn apart. She is survived by her husband, one of the few champions I have left who was not devoured by spiders in a previous siege.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fullmoon on April 27, 2010, 08:00:35 am
A small one there. Got this great Sergal mod out there. Installed. Forgot about it.

...
Three fortresses in a row. No caravans in two years, no migrants after first two batches (which usually get me up to 16-18 dwarves). Only goblins. Only bloody damned gob snatchers. WTH, thought I. I am not on island, or what. And where are elves with their load of junk? Is this a bug? Should check forums.

Huh? My civ is wiped out? And elves too? And humans? What the h--

Oh. Sergals. Right.

So, be careful with unbalanced civilisation mods.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 123BIG on April 27, 2010, 11:10:21 am
My first facepalm moment: Building my very first fort back in 40d. I had sealed off main entrance during a goblin siege and left a ramp tunnel with a trade depot open. It had two retracting drawbridges and the idea was to dump the greenskins into the channels below, overseen by a sniper nest with fortifications, and nail them to the walls. I ordered all civilians inside and sent my wrestlers and sworders to the doors connecting the tunnels and the main fortress incase any goblins make it across the bridges. I forbid the doors and get ready to watch the blooshed...and then like a dozen civilians get into the channels to die stupidly clean the catapult rubble. They found THE ONLY WAY outside the safe inner fortress through a small breach in the wall, which i made when the idiot miner dug himself into the channels, to let him escape, and completely forgotten about after that. That was FUN.

The most recent one: After the bonecarver refused to make leggings for 5th time in a row, due to lack of bones (while there were 25 in his workshop wich was aggravating enough) i decided to bite the bullet and make some out of steel instead. However the only armorer i had (who was also a hammerdwarf in my military) was too busy partying to bother with such petty tasks. I freed the statue garden and he went for a drink to relax a bit after all that stress and hard work. I left him thinking that he will quench his thirst and go make the bloody leggings, and tended to other things. When i got back someone threw another party and the lazy tosser went to participate without even stopping at the forge. I freed the garden (again) expecting to see the guy do at least some work but the armorer's shift was up and he went down to the caverns to patrol. *facepalm*
Without leggings.*double facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Danjen on April 27, 2010, 12:08:40 pm
Accidentally hitting enter on the animals menu, instead of b. This marks them as pets, and not food. So, I've got about 30 mixed standard breeding dwarf animals and a population boom is inevitable.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Valliant on April 27, 2010, 02:28:47 pm
Everything's going well, the fort is growing, I'm having trouble keeping up with the demand for barrels for booze, but there's water outside so no big deal even if it's kinda nasty. The caravan shows up and I buy a ton of meat for resale in the form of tasty tasty roasts later in the year. Mistake #1.

It becomes Winter and starts to snow. I set 30 more barrels to make and assume that'll be enough to get boozemaking started again. Mistake #2.

During this winter I finally finish the reservoir setup to drain all the stagnant ponds into pleasant underground holding tanks, with wells to be set up as soon as the miners finish stripping the area. I put in grates to protect the drainage pipes, but don't think to put floodgates on the surface to let the ponds refill there. Mistake #3.

 I see my first dwarf die of thirst. I go: "Huh, must have gotten trapped somewhere." He died in a hallway in the middle of my fort. "Hm, that's odd." The second one dies. "WTF?" I check my booze supply and see nothing, but I see a wave of meat products spilling out of my food prep stockpiles.  "#%*#(&%#@&^(#&#!!!!!!!"

It's almost spring, so I drop the permitted barrels in the food stockpiles to zero, set every carpenter to making barrels like mad, and pray for a thaw. It thaws, and all the once frozen ponds DROP INTO MY WELL PREPARED BUT COMPLETELY INACCESSIBLE RESERVOIRS! 

Long story short, I lost half my fort, including my mayor, to dehydration, with full reservoirs of water. >.<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pickled Tink on April 27, 2010, 02:41:26 pm
Built a very large fortress. Had produced well over 5 million wealth without adamantine, had withstood scores of ambushes, and dozens of seiges, and four megabeast attacks. Was going great, I was feeling invincible. My main floor level was a huge sprawling stockpile area with furnature, crafts, cloth, leather, etc. Pretty much everything under the sun. The underground river blocked expansion southwards, but I did what I could (Digging in would have flooded everything. It was an interesting feature, starting high and having four waterfalls along the way, one prior to the stockpiles, before falling down a chasm near the HFS)

Downstairs I had the food stockpiles, farms, magma smelters, upstairs the craft shops. Three floors down I had the dining room, then below that there were all my bedrooms (For about 200 dwarves), and the tombs under that.

I decided I wanted to build a self sustaining waterfall for my dining room. No biggie, done it before, so I dug a path to fill a reservoir, floodgated it all up, linked it so I could fill by stages instead of drowning everyone. I dug a channel from the side of the river to let the water in. Water goes down the hole. Water fills the reservoir. Water backs up the huge hole. Water escapes through the hole I didn't notice on the stockpile level. Water floods my stockpiles area with incredible speed. Water floods everything before I can get water stop measures in place. Water floods over the only stairwell. Water drowns a huge proportion of my population who were trapped in the bedrooms with no way out (I have to say that some of my dwarves did admire the new waterfall in the dining room though). Water continues to flow into my stockpiles with great force. Water washes all my stockpiles out the front doors. Water floods the walled woodcutting area. Water washes everything out the gatehouse.

That fort was absolutely unrecoverable. It was awesome.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Arkenstone on April 27, 2010, 04:04:05 pm
Quote from: Shardok on April 27, 2010, 01:01:50 am
Quote from: darkflagrance on April 26, 2010, 10:24:17 pm
Artifact barrels are awesome. What could be better than drinking beer out of a giant carved gem with a picture of itself on it?
Drinking spiked elven wine out of it and looking at the pictures.
The dwarves put dimple cups in it. X[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ivar360 on April 27, 2010, 04:37:52 pm
I think i just barely escaped a face palm moment....
I've been focussing mostly on my magma forges and haven't touched the new military stuff yet, so my forts defence exists of 3 cage traps and a drawbridge. As I was working on the forge, the game paused to tell me this:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I had seen stuff like this before, and the monsters were always in the caves, but this one seemed to come from the side of the map itself, I couldnt find it, so i figured it was probably gone and carried on forging.
Then I got a somewhat alarming message about my bonobo-killing guard bear:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
When i went to see what the fuss was about i found the bear, and a few feet over i found his severed head!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I freaked out because I still couldnt find the damn Ettin who just decapitated my main defensive unit in a single blow and feared the worst.... then i noticed the cage trap next to the bears head and found:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
That crappy little cage trap I installed to keep the monkeys from bothering my dwarves just saved my ass! :)
Now I just have to figure out how to savely deal with a two headed monster in a wooden cage inside my fortres....... any ideas?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 123BIG on April 27, 2010, 05:20:21 pm
Quote from: Ivar360 on April 27, 2010, 04:37:52 pm
Now I just have to figure out how to savely deal with a two headed monster in a wooden cage inside my fortres....... any ideas?
Pour magma on it. Duh! 8)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ivar360 on April 27, 2010, 05:41:46 pm
Actually, I think I'm going to try and cath the hairy salamander with a trunk that's trying to get into the fort from the caverns and have them fight each other for the amusement of my hardworking dorfs.... or die trying..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: inteuniso on April 27, 2010, 08:13:13 pm
Quote from: Ivar360 on April 27, 2010, 04:37:52 pm
I think i just barely escaped a face palm moment....
I've been focussing mostly on my magma forges and haven't touched the new military stuff yet, so my forts defence exists of 3 cage traps and a drawbridge. As I was working on the forge, the game paused to tell me this:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I had seen stuff like this before, and the monsters were always in the caves, but this one seemed to come from the side of the map itself, I couldnt find it, so i figured it was probably gone and carried on forging.
Then I got a somewhat alarming message about my bonobo-killing guard bear:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
When i went to see what the fuss was about i found the bear, and a few feet over i found his severed head!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I freaked out because I still couldnt find the damn Ettin who just decapitated my main defensive unit in a single blow and feared the worst.... then i noticed the cage trap next to the bears head and found:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
That crappy little cage trap I installed to keep the monkeys from bothering my dwarves just saved my ass! :)
Now I just have to figure out how to savely deal with a two headed monster in a wooden cage inside my fortres....... any ideas?

Actually, monsters aren't too bad, as long as they don't breathe fire.

I underestimated an ocean titan that was a giant three eyed capybara. When it started spouting fire like a dragon, that was insane. Of course, Urist Bowelsack comes out of nowhere with his trusty pick and sinks it right into the titans head.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The butcher on April 27, 2010, 11:41:14 pm
i hit sleep while very thirsty [i think it's called that]while right next to a river....so i died when i could of saved my char...damn.Wait no i just had somthing much worse..i went to get revenge for my fallen character i was also on a quest to kill a named cyclops [which killed my last character]i decided to bring 2 lashers and a fish cleaner we kill the named cyclops's [there was 2 named and 3 un-named]and mortaly wounded the unamed ones i took the named cyclops's corpses and dump them next to a tree which is shortly on fire i sleep not close but in sight of the tree and guess what?i burn in my sleep.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Krath on April 28, 2010, 12:32:24 am
On one of my first fortresses, I decided I needed to clear out all the loose stones in my large 10x10 dining room.

I didn't even know about the mass dumping feature back then. I went through 100 tiles, one by one, marking each stone for dumping.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cwal on April 28, 2010, 03:06:26 am
       Embarked along a cliff above a minor river with several streams feeding into it.  Set up a deathtrap entrance that had the cliff on one side and a drop into water on the other.  Realized I wasn't getting flow that would clean out the trench, so I dropped it one level using a cave in.  Still had too much water so I set up a pump to drain one of the channels feeding it, and sent my mason in to fill in the gap in case I got hit by building destroyers.  He was my legendary mason.  I didn't realize that he had fishing enabled.  He built the wall, then tried to fish out of the channel and got washed in by one tile of 2/7 water. 
      A year later a titan arrived and traversed the one tile wide entrance.  He didn't get hit by any weapon traps, but he dodged off the edge when he reached my bear on a chain.  Unfortunately he dodged into the channel and not the river.  He is still down there, and I have had to build a new entrance to the fort because my dwarves won't get close enough to build a cavein platform. Ended up reverting to the beginning of the season after I attempted to get the water flowing enough to flush him out.  When the child removed the floor to cave in the section, it knocked a random dorf off the walkway, into the river, where he exploded.  The child then proceeded to fall into the channel and be sucked into the lower level by the water moving.  The forest titan didn't move a single tile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Egregius on April 28, 2010, 07:41:02 pm
Quote from: Siru on September 22, 2009, 09:05:13 am
-"Hey you mean by pressing 'z' I can actually choose what kind of cabinet goes in the noble's room?"

From a way earlier page (am only now reading this thread): I read this, and thought: "Hey, that's useful!". Only much later I realised this applied to building cages with specific animals in my zoos as well, as I could never figure out beforehand which cage (with which animal) was going to be placed...unless I hit this one key.

This thread has been a fun read..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Arkenstone on April 28, 2010, 11:28:49 pm
Quote from: Krath on April 28, 2010, 12:32:24 am
On one of my first fortresses, I decided I needed to clear out all the loose stones in my large 10x10 dining room.

I didn't even know about the mass dumping feature back then. I went through 100 tiles, one by one, marking each stone for dumping.
I've done that dozens of times...  :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zaibusa on April 29, 2010, 12:52:26 pm
Fortress in the 4th year, everything works smoothly, nice defence for the fortress itself but hardly any military.

Now my miners were ambushed while mining a far away (but huge) coal veine. Other dwarfs were already there to gather the minerals, so i quickly deleted all the digging designations and forbid EVERYTHING outside. Every last bolt, bone, stone. . . Still my dwarfs ran outside, mostly with "no job", others with jobs like give water / food or recover wounded. Thing was, that the goblins only had weak weapons and were hitting on my dwarfs for minutes! They didn't manage to kill them, so other dwarfs grabbed them right while they were beeing attacked and tried to bring them to a save spot. But those damn idiots started running away from the goblin after they recovered the wounded - NOT heading towards the base. As a result i had 20 Goblins hunting for nearly my whole fortress which was too damn stupid to stay inside.
My military was asleep by the way.


So, is there any way to give civilians an order like "Stay inside" while still doing every job they can do without leaving the halls?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: atomicthumbs on April 29, 2010, 08:09:36 pm
Quote from: Zaibusa on April 29, 2010, 12:52:26 pm
So, is there any way to give civilians an order like "Stay inside" while still doing every job they can do without leaving the halls?

burrow
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on April 30, 2010, 12:45:58 am
So... my mason gets a mood and grabs a workshop and picks up some stone and then... "I need leather!"

So, since I didn't have any and the human caravan just left, I grab my recruits and send them off to slice up some of the elephants that are on my map.

They proceed to do so with the equipment they have on- full steel armor and training axes *facepalm*

So I go in to their equip settings and change them to the regular uniform from the training uniform, and I'm feeling good, so I send them out to kill an elephant... and they are still running around with training axes.  Because I haven't made steel axes yet. *face palm*

Then the dwarf caravan arrives and I buy a crate of leather- the caravan wounds one of the elephants on the way in, and my mason gets to work on his artifact.

He produces Mengthulgrem, "The Inconsiderate General", a limestone hatch cover.

And, yes, it has a recursive image of itself on it in leather.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nekoexmachina on April 30, 2010, 05:15:12 am
All three of my high master sworddwarfs have gone to the strange mood with request of shells. I'm playing on freezing biome where river never unfreezes. All of them have gone berserk & killed by bunch of wrestlers, that i got as my current military. Please, no forgotten beasts or sieges for a couple of years ;(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tastypaste on April 30, 2010, 03:42:48 pm
Quote from: nekoexmachina on April 30, 2010, 05:15:12 am
All three of my high master sworddwarfs have gone to the strange mood with request of shells. I'm playing on freezing biome where river never unfreezes. All of them have gone berserk & killed by bunch of wrestlers, that i got as my current military. Please, no forgotten beasts or sieges for a couple of years ;(

Better arm those wrestlers or you'll have another facepalm moment soon. Wrestlers aren't overpowered anymore. Even a Legendary wrestler will have trouble taking out an armored goblin. I learned that the facepalm way.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tastypaste on April 30, 2010, 04:28:58 pm
Just had one of my own. I have a long bridge made of floor tiles, with a retractable bridge in the center. I figured it was unsafe to leave the sides open where a dwarf could be knocked off into the river, so I ordered safety walls to be built. But, I forgot that walls built hanging off a bridge can't support themselves. I lost two dwarfs when the safety wall collapsed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: warlockd on May 01, 2010, 04:36:40 pm
I built an artificial tank of water a few levels down and was building a well to it.  Being my first time, I thought a dwarf could survive a one space fall to water.

I miss caculated how fast the tub filled and it was like a 4 Z fall..   My nice level 10 miner at the bottom of the well with a steel pickaxe:P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sphalerite on May 01, 2010, 05:26:49 pm
I wanted to make some copper war axes, so I dug out a vein of cassiterite and had them smelt it.  (No iron on the map, and apparently nobody able to trade with me, so I'm desperate for decent metal.)  It was only after they'd done that that I remembered that cassiterite is tin, not copper.  Tin war axes will not work quite so well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Arkenstone on May 01, 2010, 08:56:18 pm
That's why I'd change all the names of my ores to "____ Ore".

Also, I've gotten a new artifact:  a dwarven throng.  :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gesangbaer on May 02, 2010, 03:26:13 am
Double face palm. Starting a new region, planning carefully. Looking at my dorfs to see who should do what, only I get a surprise ...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Is this supposed to happen?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

-edit-
... All of them are this way ...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neyvn on May 02, 2010, 07:35:13 am
Quote from: gesangbaer on May 02, 2010, 03:26:13 am
Double face palm. Starting a new region, planning carefully. Looking at my dorfs to see who should do what, only I get a surprise ...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Is this supposed to happen?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

-edit-
... All of them are this way ...
Check Civ Entry... You might have made it possible to play that odd race in fortress mode if you had done so in an attempt to make them playable in Adventure...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Egregius on May 02, 2010, 10:13:15 am
Quote from: warlockd on May 01, 2010, 04:36:40 pm
I built an artificial tank of water a few levels down and was building a well to it.  Being my first time, I thought a dwarf could survive a one space fall to water.

I miss caculated how fast the tub filled and it was like a 4 Z fall..   My nice level 10 miner at the bottom of the well with a steel pickaxe:P

Same here yesterdaynight. I channeled 1 tile, making a nice little ramp so the miner could get in to finish punching through the ceiling of my water-reservoir. Made my furnace operator/miner dig the next tile, thinking 2 levels of water is enough to break his fall. Well, it did break him however, making him drown :(

Another one yesterday: had my first siege ever with goblins riding mounts. Never got beakdogs or any of the such, but now I had a vile force of darkness showing up (just as the elf merchants were coming inside my fort towards the TD), consisting of 14 goblin bowmen, and a gobbo maceman riding a jabberer.

Now I started this fort because I got facinated by the idea of having your fort emerge from the side of a canyon, and I had found a map with a brook cutting through a hill. Not really a canyon but close enough. My entrance was 1z above the brook in the side of the hill, and the only acces-way was a stairs from my entrance upward to the top of the hill. I realised while playing I could make the stairs in the middle above the brook (1 square away from the hills on both sides of the brook), to be accessed only by a lowered drawbridge.

So I tell everyone to go inside, and raise the drawbridge. Safe, even for a building-destroying monster, right? No, I forgot to remove the original stairs connecting my entrance to the top of the hill.. *facepalm*
(and my cagetraps weren't reloaded yet due to shortage of cages)

So I rush to deconstruct, while the goblins are wading through the brook to get to the other side where they can reach the stairs. "I hope they send someone out able to take an arrow or two..". So finally, to deconstruct the 2 pieces of stairs, out rush my legendary blacksmith, and a child. *minor facepalm*

Long story short, they don't manage to deconstruct in time, the blacksmith running inside after taking an arrow in the head, and the child fleeing...away from the stairs into the landscape. *minor facepalm*
I couldn't leave the child to her fate, so I stationed my military near the entrance just in case, but the child runs back for the stairs, and TAKES 64 ARROWS BEFORE DIEING (about 16 got lodged in her wounds). She would've been rich from all the silver arrows sticking out of her. Interesting to note: she got dabbling wrestler/dodger/fighter skills from being shot.

Oh, and one military guy couldn't stand the screams probably, so he rushed out the door while his buddies were still picking up their equipment *major facepalm*

In the end, I send everyone out to save the first guy, but 4 of my guys end up dead (training axes don't do much damage), the jabberer and the gobbo maceman luckily trapped in some not-yet-used-up cagetraps along with 3 bowmen and the rest beaten off. Luckily, the militia captain was equipped properly, and he did his re-enactment of the Monty Python black knight sketch, with the goblins as black knights.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ivar360 on May 02, 2010, 12:14:03 pm
Quote from: Arkenstone on May 01, 2010, 08:56:18 pm
That's why I'd change all the names of my ores to "____ Ore".

You can do that? I really should look into this modding thing... just afraid i'll f it up :)

Also, I just now found out (after about 20 forts) that you can use shift+enter to assign all the stones of a type to make a big floor. I'd been ramming the enter key for months......
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on May 02, 2010, 03:16:11 pm
Quote from: Ivar360 on May 02, 2010, 12:14:03 pm
Quote from: Arkenstone on May 01, 2010, 08:56:18 pm
That's why I'd change all the names of my ores to "____ Ore".

You can do that? I really should look into this modding thing... just afraid i'll f it up :)

Also, I just now found out (after about 20 forts) that you can use shift+enter to assign all the stones of a type to make a big floor. I'd been ramming the enter key for months......
The "<foo> ore" is easy enough; look in the raw/objects folder, open up matgloss_stone_mineral.txt, and find the tags [NAME:<bar>] in each stone's entry. The string after [NAME:] is what the game calls each stone at the user interface; if you change the name for the stone HEMATITE from [NAME:hematite] to [NAME:iron ore], the game will refer to the three iron ores limonite, magnetite, and iron ore.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kidiri on May 02, 2010, 04:26:08 pm
Quote from: darthbob88 on May 02, 2010, 03:16:11 pm
The "<foo> ore" is easy enough; look in the raw/objects folder, open up matgloss_stone_mineral.txt, and find the tags [NAME:<bar>] in each stone's entry. The string after [NAME:] is what the game calls each stone at the user interface; if you change the name for the stone HEMATITE from [NAME:hematite] to [NAME:iron ore], the game will refer to the three iron ores limonite, magnetite, and iron ore.
Note that this is true for 40d#. For a 0.31.#-version, you should look in inorganic_stone_mineral.txt for [STATE_NAME_ADJ:ALL_SOLID:*****]. And obviously replace the asterisks with whatever you want.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ivar360 on May 02, 2010, 05:34:28 pm
Thank you both :) no more diggin tons of tin for me!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kraftwerk on May 02, 2010, 05:36:49 pm
Had a great fort going, but I had forgotten to create a millitary, I dig down into a cave, and a cave croc murders everyone. Stupid kraftwerk :C
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ethereal.Frog on May 02, 2010, 06:26:17 pm
So I started fort, right at a cave, with a river. The indigenous people (a Minotaur) started out safely locked on the other side of the river.

So I felt pretty safe. And then I noticed the blind cave bear. I pretended not to notice him at first, and then he killed 2 dogs and a useless migrant.

Then he chased a horse around the map for a season. I'm hoping he'll leave me alone for a while now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Egregius on May 02, 2010, 06:29:06 pm
What's Kraftwerk got to do with it?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Djohaal on May 02, 2010, 09:47:57 pm
Quote from: Egregius on May 02, 2010, 06:29:06 pm
What's Kraftwerk got to do with it?

His screename is Kraftwerk, so I think he was talking to himself....

And another fan of the crazy germans? *highfives Kraftwerk (the user)*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vercingetorix on May 03, 2010, 12:06:05 am
I was wondering why my military had not been equipped with its armor...

...and then found out the arsenal dwarf was in the military.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snoopicus on May 03, 2010, 04:03:57 am
Quote from: Silvit on April 24, 2010, 01:33:02 am
having 40 dwarfs walk off a cliff,
i got a Urist McLemming has collided with an obstacle
i paused and went to investigate and found that my dwarfs were trying to retrive some loot from the top of a waterfall, were pushed off and fell 16 z-levels to their deaths.
the bottom of the waterfall is littered with their exploded corpes.
their last thought was "Has been confronted by a lovely waterfall lately"

This has got to be the coolest way I've seen to get Dwarf's to kill themselves without needing to conscript them. I love it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neyvn on May 03, 2010, 07:36:42 am
Sigh... I accidentally removed a bed when a Cavein Victim was receiving some Constant (and I mean CONSTANT) Surgery by my doc. He was then constantly cared for so he couldn't be moved, but was not fed or sated. So he ended up dieing on me. Damn it...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chronas on May 03, 2010, 07:54:59 am
Quote from: Neyvn on May 03, 2010, 07:36:42 am
Sigh... I accidentally removed a bed when a Cavein Victim was receiving some Constant (and I mean CONSTANT) Surgery by my doc. He was then constantly cared for so he couldn't be moved, but was not fed or sated. So he ended up dieing on me. Damn it...
at least it got him out of the way
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GHudston on May 03, 2010, 08:22:33 am
I had just started up my first fortress where my dwarves hadn't died from starvation/dehydration/insanity (yet), I was getting immigrants and thigns were going well so I figured that I'd give some metalworking a go.

I channeled out a pit underneath a large room and then carefully planned out a pipe for the magma to flow down. I even went so far as to include fortifications to stop the imps from killing everyone inside my fortress (After they killed my fisherman, and then killed the next 3 dwarves that tried to take the fishermans shoes... I was being extra careful!)

Everything went amazingly well, noone burne dup in the magma and the pit under the forge room had filled up without flooding the room above. Everything was going great... until I tried to be clever.

I was using stonesense so I wanted to make my fort look cool; I intended to channel out walkways with floor grates on that you could see the magma through. I didn't know that grates didn't support floor tiles and the section where my forge had been built caved in, taking my only anvil with it. I had to abandon after the third caravan turned up without any anvils to trade. Fun!

P.S. This is my first post here and I just wanted to say that you should all be ashamed of yourselves. This game is like crack! I want my life back!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nekoexmachina on May 03, 2010, 08:57:56 am
My second militia commander, died just like the first one, and that's soooo facepalm-way of death. I command all the sqads to station near my fortress enter. Militia commander second time is running OUT and chasing some shitty rabbit, running after him for the WHOLE map, and of course facing the siege by himself.
while i was writing this, couple of my swordsdwarfs followed the commander.
I do not get the new military system, how do i disallow my mil running after wild animals?
I hate those morrons. -_-
Edit: moron am i. I'm playing with genesis mod, and it seems that
Quote
Shroom Dwarves: It is said that if you eat too many mushrooms and drink too much mushroom wine, your baby will be a Mushroom dwarf. These guys are extremely cheerful, sometimes even maniacal and crazy. They cannot learn as fast as other dwarves, but they can give births to multiple babies and they mature very fast. Their lowered vision doesn't stop them from trying to get anywhere you do not want them, just to see what's up with that place.
*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on May 03, 2010, 09:37:00 am
Greiger has grown attached to Whitecastle, a gneiss fortress.

The fortress of Whitecastle has crashed!

Nooooooooooooooooooooo!

I am reloading and saving every few days.  I am going to figure out why it's crashing and work around it.  My best guess is that the military decided to start hating me after my last success.

The facepalm?  Thinking the military was actually working...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Corona688 on May 03, 2010, 12:01:33 pm
I had a long-lasting fort that breached the second cavern before the first.  A legendary monster'd been lurkin down there for years (a lol-made-of-salt invincible one, didn't bother fighting it) cutting me off from all the underground wood.  When I accidentally breached the second cavern layer (how I'd avoided hitting it at all through 40 z layers of extensive mining was a minor miracle, I was 2 walls away from it on several levels) I was elated and set to woodcutting full-force...  and discovered layers 1 and 2 were connected.  nothing could stop the lolsalt monster.  whole fort down the toilet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neyvn on May 03, 2010, 03:42:43 pm
Quote from: Chronas on May 03, 2010, 07:54:59 am
Quote from: Neyvn on May 03, 2010, 07:36:42 am
Sigh... I accidentally removed a bed when a Cavein Victim was receiving some Constant (and I mean CONSTANT) Surgery by my doc. He was then constantly cared for so he couldn't be moved, but was not fed or sated. So he ended up dieing on me. Damn it...
at least it got him out of the way
He was a Legend Miner/Mason... Well like by half the Fort...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nekoexmachina on May 03, 2010, 04:02:54 pm
Again, siege. Almost all the attackers are just standing down near their starting point. And one ogre comes inside of my fortress through the water-system.
All my legendary-dwarfs are killed, and because of spamming messages 'Urist can not bury someone: inaccessible area' i mention it only after ~10 minutes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darksergio on May 03, 2010, 10:21:07 pm
breaching hell and trying to fight again it whit just adamantine sword and steel armor my dwarf are going to have to clean the outpost for months
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sarvesh Mossbeard on May 04, 2010, 07:46:10 am
I've just had my first goblin ambush. I was all estasic at the idea of wiping them out with my 2 dwarves...

They ran when they saw them coming... with 30 war dogs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kidiri on May 04, 2010, 08:10:41 am
Quote from: Greiger on May 03, 2010, 09:37:00 am
Greiger has grown attached to Whitecastle, a gneiss fortress.

The fortress of Whitecastle has crashed!

Nooooooooooooooooooooo!

I am reloading and saving every few days.  I am going to figure out why it's crashing and work around it.  My best guess is that the military decided to start hating me after my last success.

The facepalm?  Thinking the military was actually working...
Maybe it's the smelting bug?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Egregius on May 04, 2010, 08:55:58 am
This one counts: getting a forgotten beast through your caverns. Well, I was prepared since my first fortress died to one (and not having a functional military): I managed to stump it with a locked door, and while it went to sleep I walled it out of the rest of my fort. Thinking what should I do with this firebreathing serpent..I know! I can flush the brook into the caverns, drowning it! After having read this thread I know what to avoid and ue plenty of floodgates in the right places ;)

Or...I could lure it into a hallway leading to a tower next to my entrance, enclosed by fortifications, shut off by floodgates, using puppies I pit into the shaft connecting the caverns to fortification tower! It will be brilliant!

Or I could forget the first plan involved breaching the caverns again before resealing with a floodgate, while distracted by the second plan and my planned system for universal power-supply in my fort.

"Urist McStupid cancels Collect Webs: Interrupted by Forgotten Beast"
...Huh? CRAP.

Finaly tally (partially because my squads interpret 'Kill Forgotten Beast' as 'Train in barracks'): my best furnace operator and my only legendary weaponsmith :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kraftwerk on May 04, 2010, 04:10:09 pm
Quote from: Djohaal on May 02, 2010, 09:47:57 pm
Quote from: Egregius on May 02, 2010, 06:29:06 pm
What's Kraftwerk got to do with it?

His screename is Kraftwerk, so I think he was talking to himself....

And another fan of the crazy germans? *highfives Kraftwerk (the user)*
I was talking to myself...

Yay crazy germans and their fans! *Highfives Djohaal*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Djohaal on May 04, 2010, 04:35:18 pm
Quote from: Kraftwerk on May 04, 2010, 04:10:09 pm
Quote from: Djohaal on May 02, 2010, 09:47:57 pm
Quote from: Egregius on May 02, 2010, 06:29:06 pm
What's Kraftwerk got to do with it?

His screename is Kraftwerk, so I think he was talking to himself....

And another fan of the crazy germans? *highfives Kraftwerk (the user)*
I was talking to myself...

Yay crazy germans and their fans! *Highfives Djohaal*

May I suggest an avatar? :D
http://rono22.deviantart.com/art/Kraftwerk-Ralf-Hutter-100328971
You just need to crop it.  ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kraftwerk on May 04, 2010, 04:39:39 pm
Quote from: Djohaal on May 04, 2010, 04:35:18 pm
Quote from: Kraftwerk on May 04, 2010, 04:10:09 pm
Quote from: Djohaal on May 02, 2010, 09:47:57 pm
Quote from: Egregius on May 02, 2010, 06:29:06 pm
What's Kraftwerk got to do with it?

His screename is Kraftwerk, so I think he was talking to himself....

And another fan of the crazy germans? *highfives Kraftwerk (the user)*
I was talking to myself...

Yay crazy germans and their fans! *Highfives Djohaal*

May I suggest an avatar? :D
http://rono22.deviantart.com/art/Kraftwerk-Ralf-Hutter-100328971
You just need to crop it.  ;D

SWEET! Thanks ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: morejolli on May 04, 2010, 06:13:24 pm
My first fort is halfway through it's first winter with most dwarfs dehydrated from my lack of experience managing farms and brewing. There are some unappetizing murky pools around, even a few sitting at 2/7 from winter rains (the fort is in a hot zone), but no one is drinking anything because I haven't built any wells for a lack of mechanisms. Why isn't the mechanic's workshop solving this?

Almost one year in I remember that even if none of my dwarfs have trained mechanical skills, I can still enable the labour.

/facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nerserus on May 05, 2010, 05:43:17 am
A giant olm walked up the tunnel to my fortress, he activated one trap and got severely wounded. ( Cuts on organs, heavy bleeding for a bit and nauseous. ), I designated my farm fallow so my grower didn't do a lemming rush of death.

Suddenly. The blacksmith running away from the olm was like.

"Wait a minute, THAT GROWER LEFT ONE SEED NEAR THE STAIRWAY, I MUST RISK MY LIFE TO GET IT!

I forgot to forbid said seed. The blacksmith did a mad dash all the way past the safety of the traps and got killed by the olm.

His burial ground is now a murky pool outside.

EDIT:
On the bright side. The olm got decapitated by the trap the blacksmith ran past. Irony. If he waited he could of got the seed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neyvn on May 05, 2010, 07:21:40 am
I thought I paused the game before I went to go do stuff...

Came back to a Migrant wave in Late Autumn and all my Dwarves had been running around dodging a Giant Zombie Toad. Which barely moved at them...

I went to dinner in mid spring.....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on May 05, 2010, 08:00:31 am
Tried to figure out the hospital setup.  Thought I had it down.
Removed access to water source during ambush season.
Oh! You mean hospitals require water? Who would have guessed!
Sorry You lost your leg, Kivish. And Urist McSmartypants got better in the waiting room, and now I think he's stuck waiting in the Hospital for an extended "observation period".

Also: channels now make ramps. My trench warfare tactics need updating. It wasn't a moat, it was a blind for dwarf-hunting.

"what's that stuff flying out of the... OH GOD IT'S Bomrek's HEAD!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neyvn on May 05, 2010, 08:17:19 am
Quote from: Flaede on May 05, 2010, 08:00:31 am
Also: channels now make ramps. My trench warfare tactics need updating. It wasn't a moat, it was a blind for dwarf-hunting.
Dig Trench two or more tiles wide. Send a Dwarf Down to remove all Ramps along YOUR side of the Trench, Yeah you have to go another step to make it so if you fall in its game over, but hey its better then them coming out your side...
Title: Game, Set, and Match.
Post by: Sarvesh Mossbeard on May 05, 2010, 06:59:02 pm
I've started a new fortress on an evil glacier and dug a great ramp tunnel from the surface in the hopes of getting the merchant wagons down in my base deep in the mountain. Built a tower over the entrace, dug a moat, installed doors, the kit. No wild animal would get inside.

Then the said wagon tunnel hit not one, not two, but three caverns layers. Got past them using floors, walls, bridges, dwarven ingenuity. I got an underground forest and water to spare, silk to collect and gems all about. Its doing great. My main dwarf, Sarvesh, already has a dozen kills in his belt. No megabeast, titan, or anything terrible in sight. Its going perfect! Well, beside the cook that jumped into a ravine trying to escape a flying maw.

Then came the flesh balls. They menaged to get between my workshops and the water source. My military tried to fight them off, but could never fully kill it. So the whole fortress was stuck trying to get a drink and getting interrupted by a half-dead flesh ball.
The flesh ball wouldn't move since it was so hurt, the military too tired to fight, and the rest unable to get out of the workshop.

Game. Set. aaand match.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Techhead on May 05, 2010, 09:25:58 pm
Started a fort, hit "Play Now" (for the Comp. medical skills).
Fisherdwarf promptly forms two grudges, including with the leader.
Accidentally assigned my leader/woodcutter as sheriff.
Fisherdwarf gets upset, tantrums, and kills leader's cat.
Leader assigns beating.
Fisherdwarf promptly hacked to bits.
Leader decides to hold a party in the dining room.

Moral: Don't be an ass to the guy with the ax.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on May 05, 2010, 11:20:11 pm
Elves... now accept bone items!
All this time scrimping, saving, going to war over fantastical creatures, and they would have accepted bone items???
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on May 05, 2010, 11:28:17 pm
Quote from: Flaede on May 05, 2010, 11:20:11 pm
Elves... now accept bone items!
All this time scrimping, saving, going to war over fantastical creatures, and they would have accepted bone items???

Um, they accepted bone in 40d.  I had many forts whose sole export was unicorn bone bolts.  The elves accepted such with pleasure.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on May 06, 2010, 12:32:28 am
Quote from: Rockphed on May 05, 2010, 11:28:17 pm
Quote from: Flaede on May 05, 2010, 11:20:11 pm
Elves... now accept bone items!
All this time scrimping, saving, going to war over fantastical creatures, and they would have accepted bone items???

Um, they accepted bone in 40d.  I had many forts whose sole export was unicorn bone bolts.  The elves accepted such with pleasure.

wow. the last version I was using had them throw tantrums if there was even BLOOD on the objects, let alone bone ornaments. Unless I was misled by random chance...

if so, then this is a double Face Palm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tastypaste on May 06, 2010, 01:11:51 am
I had spare animals and I read about an idea on the forums about putting animals down a pit to safely explore the caverns for me. Cow #1 sits under the hole and doesn't move. *facepalm*. Cow #2 does the same. *facepalm*. I pit a cat and an oriole. The cat eats the oriole then sits under the hole and doesn't move. *facepalm*. I pit a dog, it starts a fight with a Giant Toad which becomes enraged and kills the dog. *facepalm*. After 18 dwarf months the surviving cat has moved about 10 tiles from its starting point and then moved back again. Percent of cave explored by animals since opening it: 0%

The next step is pitting the soapmakers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on May 06, 2010, 01:41:48 am
Quote
The next step is pitting the soapmakers.

Disable all their jobs after you pit them or the job-cancel-spam load will drive you insane.

Also, try pitting slavespets Caged Intelligent Creatures to explore for you? Snakemen and Tigermen will probably survive most encounters, yes? (all mine died die to thirst, so I can't test this)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Talanic on May 06, 2010, 01:17:44 pm
Quote from: Techhead on May 05, 2010, 09:25:58 pm
Started a fort, hit "Play Now" (for the Comp. medical skills).
Fisherdwarf promptly forms two grudges, including with the leader.
Accidentally assigned my leader/woodcutter as sheriff.
Fisherdwarf gets upset, tantrums, and kills leader's cat.
Leader assigns beating.
Fisherdwarf promptly hacked to bits.
Leader decides to hold a party in the dining room.

Moral: Don't be an ass to the guy with the ax.

Actually, this opened up a new line of thought for me.

I'm going to be making Training Spears and officially declaring them to be part of the uniform for the Fortress Guard.  Should make them deal negligible damage when delivering beatings...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on May 06, 2010, 02:30:27 pm
Use maces or hammers instead.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spotswood on May 07, 2010, 04:40:50 am
Just got up to help my girlfriend with dinner and didnt press pause. Come back and start looking around and notice my population is in half. (Only had around 20 dorfs)
So I check the announcements. It was a imp from the local volcano. Outside there were about ten different clouds of smoke either running around or smouldering on the floor.

The only satisfaction I had was seeing my legendary miner one-inch-punch that imp back to kindergarten. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mordy on May 07, 2010, 01:08:07 pm
Here's a minor one that puzzled me for a little bit.  If you build an outdoor drowning chamber to dispose of cages and cages full of gobbos cause you like drowning the pests, put a ceiling on the chamber.

I flipped the drowning switch to empty my reservoir into the cage area and watched in satisfaction as they drowned, all but one, who disappeared.  Huh?

Then i get all these job cancellations from a goblin thief and it took me a while to find him as he was running around my curtain wall!  It took a while to dispatch him as '10 pathing for military is a bit buggy.

This goblin had learned to swim quickly and crawled right up onto my walls.  He ran from my military finally and got caught in a cage again, so he at least did not escape his watery fate now that i have a ceiling.   
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Alkyon on May 07, 2010, 03:07:17 pm
I spent forever trying to make a plant that I could smelt the threads to make a metal that couldn't be found anywhere else, but nothing would cause the smelter reaction to appear.  Turned out I forgot to permit the reaction in the dwarf civ entity.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunc on May 07, 2010, 06:25:02 pm
Quote from: Mordy on May 07, 2010, 01:08:07 pm
Here's a minor one that puzzled me for a little bit.  If you build an outdoor drowning chamber to dispose of cages and cages full of gobbos cause you like drowning the pests, put a ceiling on the chamber.

I flipped the drowning switch to empty my reservoir into the cage area and watched in satisfaction as they drowned, all but one, who disappeared.  Huh?

Then i get all these job cancellations from a goblin thief and it took me a while to find him as he was running around my curtain wall!  It took a while to dispatch him as '10 pathing for military is a bit buggy.

This goblin had learned to swim quickly and crawled right up onto my walls.  He ran from my military finally and got caught in a cage again, so he at least did not escape his watery fate now that i have a ceiling.   

If I had a goblin actually manage to escape and I re-captured him, I'd either let him free or I'd give him the most glorious death possible like by dropping him a dozen z levels into the middle of a meeting hall when there is a party going on
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkrider2 on May 07, 2010, 10:12:12 pm
So I've got two forgotten beast roaming around and completely walled off. One is a giant three eye'd mite made of vomit... I heard those kinds are invincible so I decided to kill the other one. A skinless sauropod something or other.

so I mine a small tunnel near where the forgotten beast is and order my axesquad to kill it.

Well they were in the middle of a training excercise so they all ran to the barracks instead of to the Sauropod. First to go out was a noble, who ran around distracting it for some good time. Then my military finally went out, albiet one or two at a time. And the damn thing killed my legendary level 20 axedwarf!!! I was in shock... it couldn't happen... clad in full bronze armor too...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: s22190 on May 08, 2010, 04:32:13 am
I think my biggest facepalm was when I had a ''accident'' with Magma; that involved an annoying noble, a lever and floodgate with a mechanism that WASNT magma safe.

I'll stop there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rorcayt on May 08, 2010, 07:39:17 pm
See thread directly below.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on May 09, 2010, 01:44:27 am
Quote from: Rorcayt on May 08, 2010, 07:39:17 pm
See thread directly below.

That doesn't tell us anything at all.  If you really wanted to tell us, you could have at least linked.

My most recent facepalm is that my computer doesn't like running large forts in large worlds.  So my fort that I have perfectly crafted doesn't like to load anymore.  I wonder if my aquifer filled well is part of the problem.  Other options are the completely walled off magma vent that might be causing pathing spam.  Hmmm, I wonder if it would go down if I opened up the pipe to the surface.  I would just need to be sure to open the side that faces away form my main entrance, else it won't do much good.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samthere on May 09, 2010, 09:22:35 am
Spent about an hour carving out an intricate series of bedrooms and living spaces, to house about 120 in an efficient but asthetic way, then designated it all to be smoothed and went off to take care of some other business.

When I looked back, all of the walls were gone. I accidentally designated the whole area for digging without noticing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on May 09, 2010, 12:50:12 pm
Quote from: Samthere on May 09, 2010, 09:22:35 am
Spent about an hour carving out an intricate series of bedrooms and living spaces, to house about 120 in an efficient but asthetic way, then designated it all to be smoothed and went off to take care of some other business.

When I looked back, all of the walls were gone. I accidentally designated the whole area for digging without noticing.

This wouldn't happen to be in Whirlrelic, would it?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tuxman on May 09, 2010, 06:01:21 pm
A dwarf died due to carp when fishing. When going to retrieve his stuff, another dwarf died. This continued for ten dwarves, even after I designated the area restricted, removed the fishing zone, and restricted the items of the dead dwarfs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nekoexmachina on May 10, 2010, 06:35:37 am
Quote from: Tuxman on May 09, 2010, 06:01:21 pm
A dwarf died due to carp when fishing. When going to retrieve his stuff, another dwarf died. This continued for ten dwarves, even after I designated the area restricted, removed the fishing zone, and restricted the items of the dead dwarfs.
You know, they really love socks. And a dwarf can lose his life just to save the precious memory of his dearest friend - the sock.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jopax on May 10, 2010, 12:57:06 pm
Well i lost my only miners today, to the bloody channel command, so i embark on a site with two rivers joining in a medium sized canyon that is just perfect for building something inside of it, also the area is full of aquifier, so i dig out a layer of one side and see that the layer beneath is aquifier, so i decide to channel it out so the builiding has a waterfall at it's base, they channel it out and step inside, and promptly get swept away into the river, get stunned and drown in several seconds.Now i have a single peasant training up to be a miner(no more picks)
Also a leatherworker went insane because she couldn't get wooden logs(i had plenty) and tanned leather(damn kittens not giving any)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iapetus on May 10, 2010, 02:13:53 pm
I just found out the hard way that if you build a floor over an up/down stair, then remove the floor, it turns the up/down stair into a down stair.

My latest fortress had the following food-related areas on successive levels, all linked by up/down stair:
 0: Outdoor farm (walled for security)
-1: Indoor farm
-2: Food/drink stockpile
-3: Legendary dining room


I tunneled from the indoor farm to a nearby murky pool to irrigate it, and temporarily paved over the stairs leading down from it so the rooms below wouldn't flood.  When the water had all spread out to 1/7 depth, I removed the floor tiles to allow access, not realizing that in doing so I had turned the up/down stairs into down-only stairs, thereby denying access to the walled garden above.

I only realized there was a problem when the three dwarves who had been in the garden at the time all died of thirst seconds apart (including one of my original seven).  In hindsite, I should have realized something was amiss from all the spam about "Urist McPlanter cancels Plant Seeds: needs Longland grass seeds", but I assumed this was just the new versions way of telling me I was out of seeds.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deon on May 10, 2010, 04:02:27 pm
Quote from: nekoexmachina on May 10, 2010, 06:35:37 am
Quote from: Tuxman on May 09, 2010, 06:01:21 pm
A dwarf died due to carp when fishing. When going to retrieve his stuff, another dwarf died. This continued for ten dwarves, even after I designated the area restricted, removed the fishing zone, and restricted the items of the dead dwarfs.
You know, they really love socks. And a dwarf can lose his life just to save the precious memory of his dearest friend - the sock.
You know, you can designate dead dwarves' items to START forbidden. I wonder how people still fall for it, when this functionality is avaliable for years already :3.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on May 10, 2010, 04:09:18 pm
See for yourself. Also the misspelling in the title. (http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-2164-cave-inteat)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: grufti on May 10, 2010, 04:35:18 pm
Uris McPlanter (Legendary) collided with a elephant outside my fortress. His third toe was being smashed and he got unconcious (facepalm) and stuck in the "Urist McPlanter cancels xxx: Interrupted by Elephant" bug... (big facepalm) After I killed the elephant Urist was brought to the hospital where a doctor decided Urist McPlanter must have a surgery. (facepalm)

After knowing the dwarf will never do any work any more, because of the surgery will never be completed bug, I went on with the typical tasks in the fortress. After a while I read "Urist McDoctor cancels Surgery: Patient not resting". Urist McPlanter is up and working again, without being healed. (happy facepalm) :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mordy on May 10, 2010, 06:00:35 pm
My current project fort seems to be in wildlife heaven.  The problem with this is that they keep filling up my cages by trying to wander into my nice moat enshrouded castle.  I keep having to release and slay them to keep empty cages for gobbos.  Well the real problem in this is that I have to keep war dogs at the entrance to keep the worthless wildlife out of my cages, but then the gobbos come by and kill the dogs.  Then, depending on my stocks, they run in through possibly empty cage traps since I keep having to cycle my cages.  Then I have to train more dogs, and in the meantime more animals fill up my cages.

More annoying than facepalm worthy, until a frakin raccoon pushed a dwarf off a wall and into my moat.  Come on, a raccoon?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nekoexmachina on May 10, 2010, 06:01:47 pm
Quote from: Deon on May 10, 2010, 04:02:27 pm
Quote from: nekoexmachina on May 10, 2010, 06:35:37 am
Quote from: Tuxman on May 09, 2010, 06:01:21 pm
A dwarf died due to carp when fishing. When going to retrieve his stuff, another dwarf died. This continued for ten dwarves, even after I designated the area restricted, removed the fishing zone, and restricted the items of the dead dwarfs.
You know, they really love socks. And a dwarf can lose his life just to save the precious memory of his dearest friend - the sock.
You know, you can designate dead dwarves' items to START forbidden. I wonder how people still fall for it, when this functionality is avaliable for years already :3.
But they like socks any way.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: albatross on May 10, 2010, 06:15:23 pm
http://img704.imageshack.us/img704/1443/destroyedit.gif
Lor Izegonol got what he deserved. Also, he saved me a single lever pull. (Intended to drop them anyway). Oh well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on May 10, 2010, 09:24:39 pm
A glacier.
Thirsty Dwarves.
No booze.
A well.
The Cold.
A bucket of ice.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

DEATH.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DowntownRiott on May 11, 2010, 10:57:09 am
Thinking my game was bugged or broken in some way shape or form, I could not trade! I would spam the "o" button, alter whether I was at loss, or the trader was, change the weights to positive and negative, go back and forth with everything, retry buying everything many a time over, then after asking on the forums, I was pointed to pressing "t".... 3 hours of possible digging wasted. Thanks Naz for making me an idiot ^_^
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on May 11, 2010, 11:43:02 am
This is a very minor one. I discovered a deep pit leading to a cavern layer that I hadn't breached yet, so I did the obvious. Both my starting cats had adopted already, so I tossed in the donkey that pulled the wagon. I made sure there wasn't anything on the landing spot, so that the donkey could explore if it survived the fall. The only thing on ground zero was a fungiwood sapling.

The sapling grew up as the donkey was falling.

I wonder if that blind cave ogre will attack it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Murasaki on May 11, 2010, 11:56:57 am
Only realizing yesterday that Page-Up/Page-Down can be used through lists  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on May 11, 2010, 12:31:30 pm
Ah! Another facepalm so early in a fort!

I started with a miner, a doctor, a mason, a weaponsmith/armorsmith, a metalcrafter/appraiser/leader, an axedwarf/armor user, and a planter.

I got three migrants the first summer:

A weaponsmith (talented)
A metalcrafter (talented)
and an architect (novice, he's my new carpenter)

Also, a spattering of crundle blood seems to be migrating down my entrance ramp.

EDIT: GODDAMMIT NOT ANOTHER METALCRAFTER. And this one's Accomplished.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xzalander on May 11, 2010, 01:17:07 pm
Slightly off-mode but...

Made a Legendary Thrower/Wrestler/Shield User in Adventure Mode, died by dodging into a pond which froze over one turn later. \o/
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Inspiration on May 12, 2010, 03:24:45 am
Not being careful when digging a channel, which caused my only miner (and only pick) to fall down one z-level, after which the cave in broke into the newly-found cavern one z-level below. After this, I decided not to save the miner, due to the fact that he was busy chasing a troll in the cavern. Much to my surprise, he killed the troll with only a couple yellow wounds. Since he was already down there, I drafted him, and told him to kill an Elk bird, for the lulz. He dropped his pick, and started wrestling the Elk bird, only to have his head ripped off in the first few seconds of the fight.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on May 12, 2010, 04:00:34 am
For future reference, what happened was that he wasn't assigned a pick as part of his military uniform.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: iEpinephrine on May 12, 2010, 08:11:33 am
Spending three hours experimenting with gear assemblies, pumps, and water to produce a chamber that locks itself and floods when a pressure plate is triggered.  Finally I get it finished, send in my sacrificial dwarf for final test.... he steps on the trigger and... the gear assemblies, windmills and vertical supports tumble gracefully into the brook... they had been hanging and I didn't notice... the pressure plate was ingeniously hooked up as a convenient way to dismantle my entire evening's work :O
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on May 12, 2010, 08:22:13 am
After spending a horrendous amount of time (a full year) penetrating an aquifer, I decided to play with the military without saving. Game crashed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheyTarget on May 12, 2010, 10:45:01 am
Okay. I'm new, I thought I'd try this thing out its pretty awesome. I watched the video tutorials I have the wiki up religiously. And I started to get he hang of it all. I decided to get a new tileset and finally create my masterpiece the other day. I embark on an island with a volcano that only the dwarfs trade to. I decided to make three greek cross shapes into towers spanning from above the volcano to the ocean bed, which is like 30 z levels I think. I start getting a nice work going, I build 4 levels of bedrooms and then pump filtered water through pumps so every bedroom floor has 3 wells, and I start thinking this is good. I get my magma forges going and make a nice 10 man guard squad and start working on the third tower base, a prison. I build some defenses and start hallowing it out. At this moment, I think I want to pump some magma through here in case of a breakout, so I dont make new pumps but break down my old pumps. I give the command and then get a notice Urist McCaptainOfTheGuard is throwing a tantrum. I go crap and zoom over, to see him start a fist fight, with a battle axe, which he stabs into the chest of Urist McRanger, I calm down when my other 9 guards start fighting back, and cut of Urist McCaptainOfTheGuards toe, both of them end up in the hospital. At this the guard who took his toe tantrums and cuts Urist McFarmer in half and promptly get dragged off to my prison. I leave him, when Urist McLegendaryCarpenter goes to give him a drink and he tantrums again (my jail is chain restraints) and he lodges his ax in my carpenters leg. I then dump his battle ax, which Urist McUseless child takes getting stabbed in the process. My Hospital is starting to fill up, and didnt realize my miners, dug out my magma forges and the third tower is now flooding with lava and my pumps where the only thing holding back my floors of water from flooding though the first tower. My dwarfs are now screwed  Tower one the peasant tower is flooding, and tower 3 the prison is now filling with magma, and tower two, only has useless nobles. Lots of Fun... Well Time to start again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: derekiv on May 12, 2010, 01:08:51 pm
Quote from: iEpinephrine on May 12, 2010, 08:11:33 am
Spending three hours experimenting with gear assemblies, pumps, and water to produce a chamber that locks itself and floods when a pressure plate is triggered.  Finally I get it finished, send in my sacrificial dwarf for final test.... he steps on the trigger and... the gear assemblies, windmills and vertical supports tumble gracefully into the brook... they had been hanging and I didn't notice... the pressure plate was ingeniously hooked up as a convenient way to dismantle my entire evening's work :O
Did something similar:
Made my own degrinchinator, and it turns out some part of it froze, breaking the whole system. I abandoned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tastypaste on May 12, 2010, 01:31:27 pm
I made drowning chambers in my workshop to take care of berserk dwarfs from moods. I close the door and pull a lever to open the appropriate floodgate and drown that workshop. But I made two crucial mistakes

Code: [Select]
~~~~~~~~~
##X###X##
#www#www#
#www#www#
#www#www#
##D###D##
~ is a channel of water
X is a floodgate
www is the workshop area
# is walls
D is door

1. There's no way to get the body out without digging a hole in the wall and repairing it each time because dwarfs won't use doors that have 7/7 water behind them and a closed door can't drain water.
2. There's a staircase right in front of the workshops and when the wall is breached it drains water, blood, and mud down the stairs right onto the engraved floor of the dining hall which leads to a coating of mud which leads to impertinent vegetation defacing masterpiece engravings.

Next time I'll have a second floodgate instead of a door so it can be opened and closed remotely, and drained into a small channel in front of the workshop which will move the dirty water out to a drainage area. I'm also going to integrate the drowning system into the moat so I don't have multiple waterways running through the upper levels of the fort. Should be a lot cleaner and more efficient.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on May 12, 2010, 03:57:12 pm
Summer was great, got some migrants, forgot to pause, lost everyone but my planter to the melting rain bug, saving now.

This after I forget to embark with either a pick or the materials to make one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hicks on May 12, 2010, 04:58:05 pm
I get a migrant wave and in some huge coincidence I get two legendary blacksmiths that are in a relationship with each other. Now, for some unknown reason one of them decides to go over to local carp pond which is fucking SWARMING with the little fuckers. So he gets dragged in and promptly drowns. The other blacksmith then throws a tantrum and starts punching people. That's where my fucking hammerer decides he has to step in and crush the surviving blacksmith's head with his hammer. I was looking at my screen in rage for about five minutes before coming up with a devious plan to break all of the bones in that goggle-eyed little cunt's body. Long story short, he's not walking much anymore.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThiefofTime on May 12, 2010, 09:17:24 pm
Quote from: Mordy on May 10, 2010, 06:00:35 pm
My current project fort seems to be in wildlife heaven.  The problem with this is that they keep filling up my cages by trying to wander into my nice moat enshrouded castle.  I keep having to release and slay them to keep empty cages for gobbos.  Well the real problem in this is that I have to keep war dogs at the entrance to keep the worthless wildlife out of my cages, but then the gobbos come by and kill the dogs.  Then, depending on my stocks, they run in through possibly empty cage traps since I keep having to cycle my cages.  Then I have to train more dogs, and in the meantime more animals fill up my cages.

More annoying than facepalm worthy, until a frakin raccoon pushed a dwarf off a wall and into my moat.  Come on, a raccoon?
Try adding the [TRAINABLE] tag to the local wildlife, and put THEM on guard duty. Or just get them slaughtered when you catch them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Graygan on May 12, 2010, 09:31:12 pm
Quote from: Hicks on May 12, 2010, 04:58:05 pm
I get a migrant wave and in some huge coincidence I get two legendary blacksmiths that are in a relationship with each other. Now, for some unknown reason one of them decides to go over to local carp pond which is fucking SWARMING with the little fuckers. So he gets dragged in and promptly drowns. The other blacksmith then throws a tantrum and starts punching people. That's where my fucking hammerer decides he has to step in and crush the surviving blacksmith's head with his hammer. I was looking at my screen in rage for about five minutes before coming up with a devious plan to break all of the bones in that goggle-eyed little cunt's body. Long story short, he's not walking much anymore.

My hammerers never get a chance to hurt anyone.  They moment they go to look at their lovely quarters, they get locked in and left to starve.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: derekiv on May 12, 2010, 09:34:22 pm
Quote from: Graygan on May 12, 2010, 09:31:12 pm
Quote from: Hicks on May 12, 2010, 04:58:05 pm
I get a migrant wave and in some huge coincidence I get two legendary blacksmiths that are in a relationship with each other. Now, for some unknown reason one of them decides to go over to local carp pond which is fucking SWARMING with the little fuckers. So he gets dragged in and promptly drowns. The other blacksmith then throws a tantrum and starts punching people. That's where my fucking hammerer decides he has to step in and crush the surviving blacksmith's head with his hammer. I was looking at my screen in rage for about five minutes before coming up with a devious plan to break all of the bones in that goggle-eyed little cunt's body. Long story short, he's not walking much anymore.

My hammerers never get a chance to hurt anyone.  They moment they go to look at their lovely quarters, they get locked in and left to starve.
Starve? They require a 120 z drop. Results in quite a nice explosion of body parts. Not enough blood for the blood gods altar though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thornet on May 12, 2010, 11:53:22 pm
My 3 legendary miners have all either killed or severely injured themselves trying to dig out my moat  >:(
Yes Urist, stand on that square and channel out the only connecting square, that's the proper way to do it   :(

This is a problem. Now where am I going to get the gabbro to supply my 60 masons with?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rex_Nex on May 13, 2010, 03:41:59 am
The best thing a Dwarf Fortress player can get:
(http://i42.tinypic.com/o7ox7d.png)

You should all strive to be like me. Urist McLucky
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eagle_eye on May 13, 2010, 12:18:45 pm
Wow. I had that happen right as my Kill The Goblins With Fiery Magma And Rushing Water Then MIne Out Their Corpeses(KTGWFMARWTMOTC) tm, was completed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deathworks on May 13, 2010, 12:23:27 pm
Hi!

Have you confirmed that the save got corrupted?

Personally, I have found the cleaning up effort to be crash prone (the only crashes I actually got in the new version (^_^;; ). So, the save was alright (the cleaning happens right after the save), but the game terminated - since I usually want to quit the game anyhow, that has not been much of a problem for me.

Deathworks
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Daetrin on May 13, 2010, 01:58:39 pm
I had a legendary miner die of thirst.

In my food stockpile.

On top of a barrel of dwarven rum. 

I guess he was really holding out for that prickle berry wine.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pheonix_RE on May 13, 2010, 02:29:45 pm
Huh, so that iron anvil I brought on embark isn't magma safe?
This was after I realized that I had brought no wood, no axes, and that (worst of all) there was no caravan to deconstruct into wood so that I could forge an axe to cut down more wood.
Needless to say, I abandoned. I remembered to bring wood to the frozen hellscape I embarked onto next, though; at least this one has an Underground River and Flux to use. [Although in retrospect I should have traded that steel axe in for wood and food... eh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on May 13, 2010, 02:49:44 pm
Iron is magma safe...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pheonix_RE on May 13, 2010, 03:01:32 pm
Eh? It said that...
Huh. In any case that fortress was kinda doomed, what with no wood and no way to actually get it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on May 13, 2010, 04:25:00 pm
Was the anvil forbidden?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pheonix_RE on May 13, 2010, 05:02:31 pm
Eh, I had already lost one of my dwarfs due to magma-based fun, and in any case it was probably something idiotic that I had done beforehand - like (post-event facepalm) making a non magma-powered forge beforehand.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on May 13, 2010, 05:07:15 pm
That would do it. And the "needs magma-safe anvil" bit is a bug. It only needs to be fire-safe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on May 13, 2010, 05:50:40 pm
Only tentatively DF related but...

I usually use the updated topics link in the forum.  I had 27 pages of ancient threads that I replied to at one time and had a post since then.  I was always worried when glancing through the updated topics list, I would  accidentally respond to one of those, thus responding to and necroing an older than dirt thread.  But I didn't know any way to easily get rid of the backlog.

I just discovered about 3 minutes ago, the "Mark all as read" button on that page.  *Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vile Ampersand on May 13, 2010, 08:18:22 pm
I made a HUGE glass mushroom twenty levels in the air. It had a mushroom top on the top with a radius of 62! In the end after ten dwarf years it colapsed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on May 13, 2010, 08:19:52 pm
In a related forum issue, I just recently realized that you can click on the ellipses in the page numbers, then it will list every page.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Karnewarrior on May 13, 2010, 08:35:45 pm
Quote from: Lord Shonus on May 13, 2010, 08:19:52 pm
In a related forum issue, I just recently realized that you can click on the ellipses in the page numbers, then it will list every page.
Only some pages. Usually enough, but occasionally with threads like Nist Akath you need to hit the ellipse twice, or even 3 times.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xtank5 on May 13, 2010, 08:37:25 pm
Quote from: Karnewarrior on May 13, 2010, 08:35:45 pm
Quote from: Lord Shonus on May 13, 2010, 08:19:52 pm
In a related forum issue, I just recently realized that you can click on the ellipses in the page numbers, then it will list every page.
Only some pages. Usually enough, but occasionally with threads like Nist Akath you need to hit the ellipse twice, or even 3 times.
Or this thread.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Karnewarrior on May 13, 2010, 08:38:29 pm
Quote from: xtank5 on May 13, 2010, 08:37:25 pm
Quote from: Karnewarrior on May 13, 2010, 08:35:45 pm
Quote from: Lord Shonus on May 13, 2010, 08:19:52 pm
In a related forum issue, I just recently realized that you can click on the ellipses in the page numbers, then it will list every page.
Only some pages. Usually enough, but occasionally with threads like Nist Akath you need to hit the ellipse twice, or even 3 times.
Or this thread.
three times for this thread.
that means Nist Akath needs 6 clicks.
damn.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on May 14, 2010, 02:56:27 am
Not at 50 posts/page, fools! I'm only on page 34.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ungulateman on May 14, 2010, 04:27:38 am
I'm at 68. I assume I set it to 25 posts per page, then.

[/off-topic]
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PhoenicIan on May 14, 2010, 01:03:13 pm
On page 112, here.

Also.

Thinking I might have fixed a big with an elf sticking around in my depot, I deconstructed it and smiled as he ran off, though raised my brow when I saw ALL of the merchants' stuff there.

The next round of traders I get? Dorf traders...and the merchants say they have left, but there's a whole bunch of them sticking around my depot. What.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on May 14, 2010, 11:53:13 pm
Just tried to set up an underground magma complex; was going to be pretty great, with pumps, fortifications between the pipe and the forges, all the trimmings. Had dug out an area in preparation for channelling out the blocks and sending magma down the pipes, when a miner complained that he could not dig because an area was dangerous terrain. Apparently I'd forgotten that magma can flow diagonally through mined-out squares. I then save-scummed because goddammit, I'm not going to lose a fort to something that stupid.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kidiri on May 15, 2010, 08:38:04 am
Not so much a facepalm as a discovery. when building something (anything) from blocks/stone/metal bars/... a light green tile means it's passable and a dark green tile means it's impassable.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: languard on May 15, 2010, 04:29:01 pm
Relatively tame, but here's my face palm moments.

I'm a new player, so I've been watching captnduck's tutorials.  Dug around for some soil, built a farm plot, and promptly started cursing the dwarfs for refusing to plant anything.  After much frustration I quit and do some research, and find out that I was watching the old video *facepalm*

OK, watch the correct tutorial for farming.  OK, dig and channel water, I got that.  And hey I can designate ramps to be removed, so I don't need to bother with this complicated lever/flood gate thingy.  Because, well, channels produce ramps, not slopes.  Right?  I believe the more experienced players are now laughing at me :P  So I set everything up for two nice farm rooms, including a drainage area, and tap into the brook running through the map.  Wait a moment, then try to remove the slope.  Discover that yes, I really did need that flood gate and I now have two 11x11 rooms filled with 7/7 water.  *facepalm*

New map, I dig a central staircase down and hit a cavern fairly quick.  It's filled with nice mud, and a grazer thingy.  Hey, it's a grazer, no worries.  A little later I start getting blocked messages, and notice that the silly thing went up to the surface, and is blocking my one tile wide hall leading to the stairs.  Try to get a squad setup and fail misserably, so I decide to try and dig around it.  Apparent this ticked it off, because I suddenly had a dead miner and woodcutter with their heads ripped off.  By a grazing animal.  *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ethereal.Frog on May 15, 2010, 05:41:59 pm
I accidentally my engraver down a 10-z pit. Poor bugger.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rex_Nex on May 15, 2010, 07:47:52 pm
Forgot a word there ethereal. Dropped, was it?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on May 15, 2010, 08:10:16 pm
I actually think it's a meme, I think the proper response is something along the lines of "really? The whole thing?"  But I'm not sure I'm right.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZapRowsdower on May 15, 2010, 08:12:15 pm
Been playing DF for a while and I JUST found out that the "U" key shows all the units on the map. That saves me time from having to find EVERY dwarf ONE BY ONE.

Awesome facepalm moment: The first time I'm playing the new DF I get a popup telling me that Ive found an underground cavern! HOORAY! I check on my miners to found that they had BOTH fallen 10 Z-Levels to there explodey deaths, after finding the new cavern...

I sat there with my head on the desk for a bit, while my brother laughed at me. Ohhh yea, that was a good day.

-ZR
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on May 15, 2010, 08:16:06 pm
*urist cracks open the ground underneath him while mining and falls into the cavern*
Miner #1(While falling) I have discovered a caverrrrnnnn! *splat*
Miner #2: No! Urist! I'm coming to save ya buddy! *breaks open the ground underneath him and also falls to his death*

The best friends are laid to rest with bodyparts intermingled.  Because they were great friends til the end.  And because nobody could be arsed to figure out what part went to what body.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZapRowsdower on May 15, 2010, 08:27:28 pm
Quote
Miner #1(While falling) I have discovered a caverrrrnnnn! *splat*

Funny thing is that after that my brother and I acted out there final moments alive.

Miner 1:This cavern...is...AWESOME!
Miner 2:I know! Wait 'till we get back to tell the other guys what we've found. They'll love it!
:SPLORT:

Urist McGamer cancels DF: Facepalming too hard...

-ZR
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vertigon on May 15, 2010, 09:13:16 pm
Quote from: Greiger on May 15, 2010, 08:10:16 pm
I actually think it's a meme, I think the proper response is something along the lines of "really? The whole thing?"  But I'm not sure I'm right.

Indeed. I'm pretty sure the original is something like this:

Guys I accidentally a whole bottle of coke what should I do?

Really? The whole thing?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ethereal.Frog on May 15, 2010, 09:43:23 pm
It's actually

"Guys, I accidentally 97 mb of .rar files. Is this dangerous?"

I don't remember the response. I imagine the whole bottle of coke is a corruption, because those 'channers are almost as depraved as DF players are bloodthirsty.

Soeaking of DF ingrained habits/thoughts, I assumed you meant coke as in smelting fuel at first.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jakeb89 on May 16, 2010, 02:06:14 am
At one point in one of my fortresses in the new version, I somehow forgot that water does have water pressure.  I decided to dig a second well about 5 z levels underground, right into a horizontal extension off of the 1x1 vertical pipeline of water leading down into my fortress (its original purpose was that it had floodgates separating it from the main halls every few z-levels in case I had to drench the place due to fire or whatever.)

My entire fortress under that level started flooding, and I didn't noticed until I got an "X cancels give water: dangerous terrain."  No one died, but the poor guy in the hospital on level -10 or so was in a room surrounded by 7z water hallways.  I did some finagling to dig a dry path to that room, but eventually decided it was better to just savescum since I had like 10 z-levels filled with water.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on May 16, 2010, 07:57:29 am
Thinking that water would break a puppies fall, I threw one down into the cavern to explore it, there is blood and chunks everywhere.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ethereal.Frog on May 16, 2010, 10:55:30 am
Surface tension killed the cat dog.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on May 16, 2010, 11:16:59 am
I'm aware of surface tension, just heard somewhere water was fine, I might have confused DF with Minecraft though...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xzalander on May 16, 2010, 12:50:12 pm
Wasreading through one of my genned worlds Histories and i saw this:

Quote
The Doom of Homages, Goblins
 master List
 
  • Nguslu Brainfocused the Dungeon of Jackals (b.???, Reign Began: 4), *** Original Line, Never Married

      No Children

Theres no other Goblin civs listed. Scarily... he's still alive....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Diablous on May 16, 2010, 12:53:28 pm
Well, goblins don't have a max age.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xzalander on May 16, 2010, 01:05:34 pm
Quote from: Diablous on May 16, 2010, 12:53:28 pm
Well, goblins don't have a max age.
:O really? Well even so Kudos to the thing for staying single and alive with all the Megabeasts for 1000 years+ (I gen to the default 1050~)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Diablous on May 16, 2010, 01:07:17 pm
Quote from: Xzalander on May 16, 2010, 01:05:34 pm
Quote from: Diablous on May 16, 2010, 12:53:28 pm
Well, goblins don't have a max age.
:O really? Well even so Kudos to the thing for staying single and alive with all the Megabeasts for 1000 years+ (I gen to the default 1050~)

Neither do elves. They will live forever unless something kills them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on May 16, 2010, 01:14:56 pm
Quote from: Diablous on May 16, 2010, 01:07:17 pm
Quote from: Xzalander on May 16, 2010, 01:05:34 pm
Quote from: Diablous on May 16, 2010, 12:53:28 pm
Well, goblins don't have a max age.
:O really? Well even so Kudos to the thing for staying single and alive with all the Megabeasts for 1000 years+ (I gen to the default 1050~)

Neither do elves. They will live forever unless something kills them.

Then we're doing them a favour! Stopping them getting bored...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Davie on May 16, 2010, 03:38:44 pm
Quote from: Felius on April 20, 2009, 09:10:01 pm
Well, to share the face palming moment you had. To qualify it's must be something that when you saw it you facepalmed in your own stupidity/obliviousness...

Well, to start, mine:
I have been building a out of the mountain wall to encircle the entrance and work for the outside needs of my dwarves. Ok, after I had built the entire wall, the second store floors, a barracks over the main gate, etc. I finally discover that, well, you can built constructions more than one tile at a time. Yes, after building a few hundred tiles with painstakingly micromanagement, I discover that I could have done that with a tenth of the work...
I only just figured out you could do that after reading this thread.  Great Armok, I'm a fool.  Facepalm indeed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: thenoose on May 16, 2010, 03:50:35 pm
I started a fortress in a freezing environment with scarse trees.

 I dug my fortress into the side of the cliff face and then started digging down into the mountain and setting upo my fortress as spring progressed. I was worried this was going to be a very short lived fortress as it was late spring and the ice still hadnt melted. I had set up my farming area and was ready to flood it as soon as the ice melted.

By mid Summer the ice finally melted. Little did I know that my wagon had been placed on a sheet of ice and as soon as the ice melted 3 of my 7 dwarves died(My cook, brewer, and carpenter/woodcutter). I set my miners to go expand the area of this pond so that the water could thin out and I could retrieve my belongings. This was succesful, and then my dwarves started wading through the water which was at depth 1-3/7 to retireve my belongings from the fallen wagon. Then, the water froze over. Encasing another 3 of my dwarves  (the 2 miners and my leader). Then a band of kobolds came and slaughtered my last remaining dwarf.

Now ive started a fortress in a desert environment and things arent going too bad. Well, pretty bad. One of my miners decided he wanted to handle the channeling jobs in such a way that caused the mine to collapse on him and he died. Then my other miner did the exact same thing,  except she survived with major injuries, and a case of narcolepsy- she would keep falling asleep. Then she had a tantrum and severly wounded my replacement-miner(peasent).  Not sure how im going to fix this one :P.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on May 16, 2010, 03:52:53 pm
Quote from: thenoose on May 16, 2010, 03:50:35 pm
Not sure how im going to fix this one :P.

Magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samthere on May 16, 2010, 07:47:18 pm
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on May 09, 2010, 12:50:12 pm
Quote from: Samthere on May 09, 2010, 09:22:35 am
Spent about an hour carving out an intricate series of bedrooms and living spaces, to house about 120 in an efficient but asthetic way, then designated it all to be smoothed and went off to take care of some other business.

When I looked back, all of the walls were gone. I accidentally designated the whole area for digging without noticing.
This wouldn't happen to be in Whirlrelic, would it?
Naw, it was Applemurdered. Similar design principle, though :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yserbius on May 16, 2010, 09:01:21 pm
It must have been the time I decided to create a moat using the ocean water. I was expecting to dig into the wall next to the ocean and have the dorf run away from the water and pull the floodgate switch after reaching safety. Oceans flood very very fast.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vertigon on May 16, 2010, 09:29:21 pm
I decided to pull off a little dwarven Valhalla. All my dead military dwarves would be placed in a magma-safe coffin and sent to the bottom of the magma sea. I overcomplicated it and tossed in 5 miners with my Champion Sworddwarf, who singlehandedly fought and destroyed 2 Forgotten Beasts and a goblin siege... AT THE SAME TIME
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neyvn on May 16, 2010, 10:06:37 pm
Quote from: Vertigon on May 16, 2010, 09:29:21 pm
I overcomplicated it and tossed in 5 miners with my Champion Sworddwarf,
You didn't Overcomplicate it, maybe could have done with more death...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eagle_eye on May 16, 2010, 11:37:34 pm
Quote from: Vertigon on May 16, 2010, 09:29:21 pm
I decided to pull off a little dwarven Valhalla. All my dead military dwarves would be placed in a magma-safe coffin and sent to the bottom of the magma sea. I overcomplicated it and tossed in 5 miners with my Champion Sworddwarf, who singlehandedly fought and destroyed 2 Forgotten Beasts and a goblin siege... AT THE SAME TIME
can you post the legends entry when it falls?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haspen on May 17, 2010, 05:41:49 am
So I download 0.31.4 version.

I set the graphics, including PARTIAL:2 and G_FPS:5.

It works! It works fast... too fast.

*facepalm*

Then I go look into 40d16 version, how I've set the graphics.

I didn't. I was playing on worse settings, living with 8-20fps in game for almost a year.

I set it to PARTIAL:2 and what? +30 boost to FPS in my large fortress.

*double facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shade-o on May 17, 2010, 08:42:01 am
Playing 40D.

Soldier dies from bruised arm.

Okay.


Edit:

Another soldier was fighting in the middle of a hallway, with a veritable rain of arrows pouring at him. Some hit the walls, some hit other soldiers, and some hit cats further down. One struck him and he flashed yellow. He had a broken wrist, I breathe out in relief.

Another arrow strikes. I check. It took his face off.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kidiri on May 17, 2010, 03:19:43 pm
Quote from: Shade-o on May 17, 2010, 08:42:01 am
Another soldier was fighting in the middle of a hallway, with a veritable rain of arrows pouring at him. Some hit the walls, some hit other soldiers, and some hit cats further down. One struck him and he flashed yellow. He had a broken wrist, I breathe out in relief.

Another arrow strikes. I check. It took his face off.
Maybe he facepalmed because he didn't dodge the arrow to the wrist?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Julius Clonkus on May 19, 2010, 08:49:19 am
Spoiler: Warning, spoilers for what lurks beneath! (click to show/hide)
Now I know the game really hates me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on May 19, 2010, 09:14:31 am
Quote from: Julius Clonkus on May 19, 2010, 08:49:19 am
Spoiler: Warning, spoilers for what lurks beneath! (click to show/hide)
Now I know the game really hates me.

The game doesn't hate you, it's just sharing the love!

Share some magma love with the noble who made it too =D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Julius Clonkus on May 19, 2010, 09:54:35 am
Quote from: UnrealJake on May 19, 2010, 09:14:31 am
The game doesn't hate you, it's just sharing the love!

Share some magma love with the noble who made it too =D

Wonderful idea! He's just friends with half the fortress. What's the worst that could happen? (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TemptingFate)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Delphinus on May 19, 2010, 01:28:16 pm
Placing a wooden floodgate on my magma control system.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mordy on May 19, 2010, 04:18:24 pm
in 31.03 my best fortress so far is suffering from the multiple mayors bug.  This means i am having a hard time keeping up with demands, and my dwarves are being punished from disobeying lots of things.  So i decided to build a jail, the first time i have actually done so.  Well, turns out that my dwarves are very un-apathetic or too busy to give my prisoners water, so they keep dying of dehydration.  Then i read the wiki and yes, you can and should put a food stockpile in each prison cell.  nice.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Talmanaze on May 19, 2010, 04:54:41 pm
So I find a very very nice location, at least for a newbie like me, with a nice river right next to a volcano!

so I start, begin to carve out my home, bam, run smack dab into Damp ground.
so I look for some way to drain it thinking it to be simply a pocket of trapped water, I dig into the "bubble" next to the side with my
volcano etrance.

Turns out, It wan an aquafier.

At least I've got mud If I can build a floor over the obsidian... no wait, it'll be flooded... well I got the volcano to stop flooding, At least it's a minor victory :-\

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Egregius on May 19, 2010, 06:47:06 pm
Quote from: Kidiri on May 17, 2010, 03:19:43 pm
Maybe he facepalmed because he didn't dodge the arrow to the wrist?
I LOL'd.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SheepishOne on May 19, 2010, 11:56:26 pm
I find a nice site with some volcanic rock, stock search finds a decent cavern (unexplored as of yet, thank you forbidden clothing!) about 116 levels down. I'm by an ocean, on land with trees, temperate climate, somehow there is a bit of fish and I can eek out a decent living. By dealing with elves I picked up war elephants and leopards (both in breeding pairs!). They should hold off until enemies arrive (baby snatchers have been spotted). I'm doing well, and decide it would be nice to add in a second stairwell as the main entrance was getting crowded. I get a "damp stone" warning, ignore it since it's raining. And then, post-fact, realize I'd originally dug into a rock vein to pierce the lower levels--this allowed me to sidestep the aquifers on the way down. Well, now I have an aquifer flooding into my base. I arduously close down all mining routes and try to dig a channel with a wall behind it (if the dwarves are caught they'll just dig a stairway to safety).The builders say the water is too deep! (2/7) and my two legendary miners immediately go on break upon hearing of a massive wall of water coming their way. The third miner, a newbie, somehow suffers a bout of narcolepsy--which was NOT mentioned in his [z]. Since he was on the lowest level (the quarry), and now has 4/7 water blocking the exit, he just yawns and takes a nap in the face of a fountain of gushing water. Fun is currently in progress. I think, if he wakes up, he should dig down to find that cavern..

Facepalm knowledge: Maybe a little travel inefficiency is a good thing. It beats work inefficiency, which is arguably just as disastrous. Wish I had some magma, I'd sort this right out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rex_Nex on May 20, 2010, 12:13:27 am
Eh. Rain doesnt produce water. It only turns on murky pool water regeneration, and cleans stuff
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SheepishOne on May 20, 2010, 12:28:23 am
Quote from: Rex_Nex on May 20, 2010, 12:13:27 am
Eh. Rain doesnt produce water. It only turns on murky pool water regeneration, and cleans stuff
It's good to know it works more like a prime than a depositing force, and hopefully my "cave and forget" project succeeds--or at least gives my dwarves some time to relocate. I've breached the cavern and the miner is consigned to his fate, so we'll see how it goes. On a positive note, my carpenter was struck by a strange mood and produced a nice wooden casket. At least the miner will ceremonially float after his death! 

This was my first foray in about a year, so I'm in the process of updating my archaic dwarf brain. Irrigating crops again, the new military system, and basic things like knowing not to make soap in this version, were really taking up my cerebral processing power. Who knew digging in a straight line would be my undoing? :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hjd_uk on May 20, 2010, 08:21:50 am
A goblin getting "pitted" broke free and in his rampage fell off my main drawbridge into my water filled bridge-pit ( at 5/7 ).
He sat there (coincidentally along with a lost and forgotten puppy that had also fallen off the bridge) in the water scaring everyone trying to do anything near my main entrance, which is pretty much everyone.

So i decide to open up the floodgate to get teh pit to 7/7 water and drown the bugger.

It slowly fills up, im hoping its over soon cos everyone is panicking rather than doing anything useful.

Water hits (7/7) success! He starts drowning....



...Then he just climbs out of the full-to-the-brim pit pool and walks off.

*facepalm*

Thankfully my millitary nab him before he can hurt anyone properly.

Im now digging a drainage ditch/cystern to drain my bridge pool pit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ivar360 on May 20, 2010, 03:25:11 pm
Had a great spot for a fort, started on the farm and some stockpiles when I noticed the stockpile was not getting filled.
My starting caravan/cart thing had been placed right next to a river and all the dorfs were too scared of what was inside to get near my supplies. So, I had a look expecting some real nasty evil carps or something and found "Harmless Minnow". My fort was killed by 3 fish called Harmless minnow!  >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bloodtoes on May 20, 2010, 05:06:54 pm
Goblins rushing my fort through the open draw bridge, I order the bridge raised by the civ dwarf sent to do it doesn't get there in time and runs off scared instead. I send my army in to fight the goblins.. and were victorious. At that moment, with my entire army standing on the draw bridge and surrounded by moat, that civ dwarf runs in and pulls the lever...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tenth Speed Writer on May 21, 2010, 01:15:43 am
Had my best miners both wounded in a cave-in.

The doctor aborts treating the first to attend a chain of parties.

Which lasts for at least a season.


One hasn't stopped bleeding. The other is horribly infected.

The doctor FINALLY leaves the party... just as the goblins launch an ambush.
The doc, who had been drinking out on the balcony, has his hand grazed by a goblin arrow.


An axedwarf is laying in the floor with spinal cord damage, and the rest of his squad is in triage.
Where's the doctor?

Taking up one of two open beds, demanding to have his scratches cleaned.







... Would magma be too merciful a fate, do you think?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hjd_uk on May 21, 2010, 05:25:49 am
Quote from: bloodtoes on May 20, 2010, 05:06:54 pm
Goblins rushing my fort through the open draw bridge, I order the bridge raised by the civ dwarf sent to do it doesn't get there in time and runs off scared instead. I send my army in to fight the goblins.. and were victorious. At that moment, with my entire army standing on the draw bridge and surrounded by moat, that civ dwarf runs in and pulls the lever...

^_^ fun Times, i just narrowly avoided that myself. I have the need to appoint a "Lever-Operator" dwarf in an Control-Room activity zone :).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Labhras on May 21, 2010, 05:33:13 am
Hmm, let's see. I have to say my most memorable facepalm was painstakingly nicknaming every dwarf in a fortress with a population of 70+...only to have a goblin siege appear shortly afterwards. They massacred everyone except the macedwarf, who entered a martial trance and killed around a dozen goblins (there was a lot of blood). His nickname? McFail
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: brainfire on May 21, 2010, 09:58:25 am
Just realized I haven't had a mason for six months. Tantrum spiral's starting to wrap up, at least... only down to 41 dwarves from ~70.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zergl on May 21, 2010, 11:05:48 am
It all started with the duplicate mayor bug.

The old mayor was getting on my tits with his constant mandates, so I decided that he should have an accident. (first facepalm in hindsight)
Now my nobles screen was dead (couldn't appoint anything new) and my broker died (oops, forgot to unlock the door to the lever room he was operating after he was done).
I was thoroughly annoyed and decided well, maybe a restarting the nobles screen with a new election will fix it and so I arranged an accident for the current mayor.
Because I wasn't sure that this would work I just semi-afk watched the game (watching some tv shows on my other screen while keeping an eye for any game pausing announcements) for almost a year, just occasionally checking that my dorfs still had enough food and booze and micromanaging the odd mood to get the best value out of it, but not doing any real digging, crafting, etc.
It eventually worked (got new mayor and working nobles screen and all), but (second facepalm in hindsight):
This caused tons of idlers.
This caused in turns lots of parties.
This caused a lot of socializing.
Now some dwarfs died and I'm in the middle of a terrible tantrum spiral because everyone was friends with bloody well everyone. Around 20 dorfs are miserable and another 20 are either unhappy or very unhappy and slowly dieing off through melancholy and/or get thrown into jail for breaking stuff constantly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ilyavania on May 21, 2010, 08:10:32 pm
So I started a fort and everything was fine. Workshops were being set up nicely and life was good. Then one of the fisherdwarfs went into a fey mood and claimed a craftsdwarf workshop. He proceeded to get two logs and subsequently screamed for a tanned hide. Not wanting to slaughter one of my wardogs, I sent out a military dwarf to go a kill a deer, so I could use its hide for the dwarf in the fey mood.

I assigned an iron crossbow for him to use, overlooking the fact I didn't have any bolts. He ran off with the crossbow and attacked the deer, bashing it with the crossbow. The deer got bruised, tried to run away, repeat. The dwarf chased the deer around for 10+ minutes. Me, wondering why it took so long, realized there were no bolts and the blunt damage wasn't actually doing much. The only thing that happened was that the deer lost a hoof and got a bit bruised.

So I decided to make the military dwarf a sword to use, assigned it to him and de-assigned the crossbow. The military dwarf picked up the sword just fine, but didn't drop the crossbow, no matter what I tried. I forbid the item, told him to dump it, but nothing. So I hoped the guy would wise up and actually use the sword instead of the bow and I sent him out again.

The deer was still on the map and the dwarf started to chase it again. After a bit of a chase (I didn't know deer with only three hooves could run so fast...), the dwarf started to attack the deer again, with his crossbow, while holding the sword in his other hand. This proceeded for another 10+ minutes, in which the deer lost an ear and its three other hooves.

After this, the deer was still running, being beaten unconscious every now and then, only to get up and run away again. At this point I threw my hands up and gave up as my military dwarf was starting to starve. So the dwarf went home and I closed off the workshop, waiting for the fey dwarf to go insane or my military dwarf to be done eating, whichever would happen first.

The military dwarf was done eating first, but by that time the deer had somehow found its way off of my map without dying (even though it had no hooves and was bleeding) and a few seconds later the fey dwarf went insane.

The military dwarf did not let go of his crossbow, nor of his sword. The insane dwarf was caught in a cage. The deer survived.

All thanks to blunt damage being quite useless, and the retarded dwarf who would not use the sword over the crossbow even though he had no bolts for it. Gotta love that.

Oh, and poor deer. I really feel for it, that it had to survive all that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rex_Nex on May 21, 2010, 11:29:14 pm
The Forgotten Beast Imeri Sanenethelo has come! A gigantic blob composed of grime and filth. It has a round shell and it appears to be emaciated. Beware its poisonous gas.


...!...

Urist McMiner, prepare the caveins.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SpacemanSpiff on May 22, 2010, 11:02:21 am
I've always been annoyed with the time taken to cursor around the squads interface to get my militia equipped just right.

2 minutes ago I realized the squads interface is mouse-enabled.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: uber pye on May 22, 2010, 08:08:21 pm
1st gobo ambush:a bunch of low level lashers easly killed by all my traps 8)
 
a few seconds later...

2nd gobo ambush:a bunch of gobo pikemasters ran thru the trap corrodor (all the traps weren't reset yet) killing a large amount of dwarfs, and then all but one relax around the entrance of my fort :(
the one that went in started killing dwarfs WITH HIS PIKE IN HIS MOUTH  :o

SO, I deside to just dig to hell
then they all die  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Labhras on May 23, 2010, 03:24:08 pm
A year and a half into my fortress, I get a dwarf that entered a strange mood...it was my miner, who was at Grand Master mining and Dwarf therapist said he only needed under 200 xp to get to legendary. He claims a mason's workshop, gathers two rocks and some crappy opals and makes a door...and becomes a legendary miner.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eric Blank on May 23, 2010, 08:45:51 pm
Quote from: uber pye on May 22, 2010, 08:08:21 pm
1st gobo ambush:a bunch of low level lashers easly killed by all my traps 8)
 
a few seconds later...

2nd gobo ambush:a bunch of gobo pikemasters ran thru the trap corrodor (all the traps weren't reset yet) killing a large amount of dwarfs, and then all but one relax around the entrance of my fort :(
the one that went in started killing dwarfs WITH HIS PIKE IN HIS MOUTH  :o

SO, I deside to just dig to hell
then they all die  :D

Looks like the gobbos became truly sentient, realized how badly the military is bugged and the general difficulty of defense, and made a bet that one of them could defeat your fort without using his hands.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheDarkEnigma on May 24, 2010, 01:52:03 am
I've already mentioned this in another thread, but it's quite fitting here, so I'll re-iterate.

It was my fort's first year and I was trying to train my military up to be something respectable before they got eaten by goblins. Figuring real animals would make excellent experience for my already proficient wrestlers, I sent my 3 military Dwarves out to kill a deer. What happens? Deer breaks the first Dwarf's finger, while taking only minor damage. Then the deer HEALS itself, breaks a second Dwarf's elbow (who promptly passes out from pain), and runs headlong into my fortress, through two sets of stone traps. These traps break both of its front legs and its lower spine, but the deer, who I shall henceforce refer to as Bambo, plows on, beats back the two military Dwarves still desperately trying to kill it, and runs amok in the fortress, disrupting workers and the like - all on two legs!

I loaded my save back before that deer could humiliate my military any further.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deathworks on May 24, 2010, 01:30:47 pm
Hi!

I just had a huge facepalm on a meta-game level.

After discarding the first world in 31.04 because all the sites I wanted came with aquifers, my first fortress in 31.04 suffered from no turtles resulting in 2 out of 4 artifacts failing making me give up on that fortress/world.

The next fortress again had no turtles. And even though I had 3 successful moods and no losses, I gave up on this after some experimentation in acquiring shells.

Now, I genned another world to find again that there are no turtles on my site. I am still in my first year and I like the site (although absolutely flat, it started out with the pools frozen - something that has become rare for me in 31.xx and which will come in handy as it does have an aquifer down there somewhere). And just as I saved, I suddenly remembered that there is the [ARTIFACTS:] setting -> major face palm

Deathworks
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eagle_eye on May 24, 2010, 05:12:57 pm
what's changed in .04 from .03? and my most recent facepalm: accidentally trading 10000 urists worth of gem encrusted metal bolts to the elves for a sock. they really should include a failsafe when you hit t
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Frog on May 24, 2010, 08:07:34 pm
I nearly lost a fortress to an early siege because my military kept getting knocked on their butts by a horde of stray cows while attempting to navigate a hallway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Don Blake on May 24, 2010, 08:14:18 pm
Treating my dwarves lightly psycopathically, I haven't assigned bedrooms for the vast majority of them, including the military dwarves, who consequently sleep in my barracks.

My outdoor barracks.

On the arrival of a dragon, I drew everyone inside, hoping to trap and tame it.  Everyone went inside.  Except the elven merchants.  And the legendary wrestler napping on the dirt in my outdoor barracks.

So now I've got a bloodlusted dragon stuck in a birchen cage in my Dungeon Master's quarters.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Labhras on May 24, 2010, 11:28:55 pm
Sounds like a barrel of fun. Should make a goblin siege more interesting if you manage to tame it >:D

Oh, also, how do you order everyone to go inside in the new version, I looked around and couldn't find it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SheepishOne on May 24, 2010, 11:47:37 pm
I started a new fort in .04 and decided to give magma smelting a shot. Managed to keep everything walled off and secure (Even avoiding a flaming blob, that strangely entered the map with red body and two missing wings). So I thought I had it going pretty nice, and then goblins attack up top. I was still in the process of getting my military armed (as you can't start out gradual or you end up playing grab-arse with the arsenal dwarf and finicky dwarves who don't want to drop cheap crap). So they kill about three dwarves on the first few swings, send the rest running. I give the burrow call and find a new arsenal dwarf (who died in the assault). I've a full squads'worth of masterwork copper mail, greaves, and caps with some silver warhammers and a few steel spears. Should do the trick if they can just equip it..

And then the goblins run over my weapons traps as they descend into the fortress. None of them suffer any damage. They stop for a minute, then run BACK OUT through the traps. Again nothing. They head through again, to and fro, back and forth. I look at the records and the Green Glass Axes I'd mass produced are glancing off their silk gloves and caps.

Lesson: Don't use wood/glass or even metal traps without considering the new weapon properties. It's at this time I really wish lead could be forged into spiked balls, and that I had the steel available for blades. I'll re-equip them after it's over. That is if my fort survives the temper spiral, which is severe. A dwarf is being chased by his comrades as we speak. He seems to have picked up a dog and is flailing with it in a threatening manner.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SpacemanSpiff on May 25, 2010, 02:30:54 am
Quote from: SheepishOne on May 24, 2010, 11:47:37 pm
Lesson: Don't use wood/glass or even metal traps without considering the new weapon properties. It's at this time I really wish lead could be forged into spiked balls, and that I had the steel available for blades. I'll re-equip them after it's over. That is if my fort survives the temper spiral, which is severe. A dwarf is being chased by his comrades as we speak. He seems to have picked up a dog and is flailing with it in a threatening manner.
I've become quite partial to the giant axe blades, after watching a steel one cleave right through an elephant.  Sadly my current fortress has a higher threat level and fewer resources, so this time around it'll be bronze giant axes blades vs. zombie elephants.

What kind of damage does a flailed dog do? Lashing?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tastypaste on May 25, 2010, 03:19:57 am
I've never done much with magma besides using it to replace fuel in my smelters and forges. So I constructed some magma drowning sealed workshops with remote controlled floodgates for doors. I made grates in front to drain the magma and had a large magma evaporating chamber on the level below. Spent a lot of time assembling floodgates, levers, mechanisms, grates etc. only to remember at the last moment that none of it was magma safe.

Could have been an even bigger facepalm if I'd started the magma flow before I double checked the magma safe material article on the wiki. Still, it's a pain in the ass to rebuild everything from scratch.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: scriver on May 25, 2010, 04:55:10 am
My only war elephant just got his ass handed to him by a kobold thief, who then proceeded to escape with a ≡steel battle axe≡. The only weapon so far that wasn't made in the +/- area.  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hjd_uk on May 25, 2010, 05:20:20 am
Quote from: Labhras on May 24, 2010, 11:28:55 pm
Sounds like a barrel of fun. Should make a goblin siege more interesting if you manage to tame it >:D

Oh, also, how do you order everyone to go inside in the new version, I looked around and couldn't find it.

To order Civvies anywhere you have to first define a burrow with 'w', you have to paint out the tiles for the burrow.
Then in the millitary screen in the "alerts" bit you should see your burrows on the right, hilight the "Civillian" group on the left and press right twice and select the burrow that they are confined to, you will get an 'A' telling you that it is currently active.

And then you'll get a ton of "Cannot find / Restricted access" spam as Dwarfs find tha cant get to their favourite fising spot etc.

Wish there was a default burrow consisting of all excavated inside tiles but hey, its still Alpha :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Labhras on May 25, 2010, 07:06:40 am
Oh, I see. I was hoping the dwarves stay indoors order was still around.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on May 25, 2010, 11:14:58 am
A carpenter building my 'sacrificial puppy on a rope' ambush early warning system got jumped by a kobold thief. 

The carpenter canceled his job and ran away, the kobold didn't even take a swing at him which was good.  However the carpenter wandered into the access channel that the miners used to dig out my moat during his panic and was promptly washed off the drainage cliff and ended up in the river 5 levels down with broken bones like dozens of goblins before him.

I was about to write off the carpenter as another bloated waterlogged corpse that I would never be able to clean up down there, when he got up and started moving upriver, not drowning at all.  With a shattered leg and arm.

I check his skills, no swimming skill.  Not even dabbling.  I'm trying to puzzle out the reason why the carpenter isn't drowning and during that time he swims over to the other side of the map and climbs up and back into the fortress using the waterwheel opening at the mill.  Where he dutifully goes to the hospital to get the broken bones treated.

I'm noting that down in my list of odd possible bugs, when I remember an important detail.  My game is modded, and my fortress race has a number of castes each with special abilities.  I check the carpenter's description and sure enough "His scales are jade".  He's a green dracon.  The green ones are [AMPHIBIOUS].  I spent 10 minutes trying to puzzle out the reasoning behind behavior I modded in myself.  There's a facepalm right there.

P.S. The bonus? It appears pathfinding in the old 40d 'brain turn off zones' like midair and underwater have been improved.  In 40d he wouldn't be able to figure out how to get out until he starved while this guy made a beeline for my mill waterwheel opening.  There wasn't even a ramp.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SheepishOne on May 25, 2010, 12:26:32 pm
Quote from: Labhras on May 25, 2010, 07:06:40 am
Oh, I see. I was hoping the dwarves stay indoors order was still around.
Yeah, but the burrows system is much more simple when you figure in the new intricacies of digging down. If you just ordered them inside, they'd make a beeline there for things like fishing in dangerous waters. The burrow painter will only select open space, and it supports mouse. So you can big square highlight your entire fortress, and mouse paint the stairs when needed. Also, I made a separate alert for "dwarves go indoors", just create a new one under the m-a menu, select the "burrow x", then go back to the first column and select it. The alert that has [civ] next to it, when highlighted, will enact the program shown--for civilians.

Quote from: SpacemanSpiff
What kind of damage does a flailed dog do? Lashing?

Light bruising, mostly. I guess it was his dog, so he picked it up and carried it around with him until he couldn't take it anymore. Then he went berserk, the military dwarves rushed in to do their thing and just before they got to him the dog went off like a smoke bomb. They pushed through the miasma and killed him just fine, but now they were upset at the miasma, killing their friend, etc. and THEY started freaking out. I had to restart when I'd lost more than 30 dwarves and the goblins returned in the next damn season.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mordy on May 25, 2010, 05:46:13 pm
If your planning on draining a pond to irrigate your farm, best remember the temperature of the biome, or act fast, because it may dry up before summer is over.  At least I still had a brook as a backup.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GHudston on May 25, 2010, 09:37:00 pm
Just spent several hours setting up a new fortress on a map with a major river with two small waterfalls feeding into it. I had set up most of the main areas of the fort and had received a good number of migrants, one of whom had built the forts first artifact (an iron figurine encrusted with bone).

Everything was going well until winter arrived and the downstream end of the major river froze. Trust DF to give me a crash course in both biome specific weather patterns and the effect of waterfalls on water pressure in one fell swoop.

Several dwarves drowned in the moat when the river broke it's banks, the rest were trapped inside by the water refusing to do anything due to the "dangerous terrain" created by the flooding. I had a good laugh, can't say the same about the dwarves though.  ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tastypaste on May 25, 2010, 10:59:51 pm
While I was waiting for my magma chamber to be rebuilt, I engraved the walls and floors of it because I was bored and didn't know better. Several masterpieces were destroyed instantly and my two engravers are now upset.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bloodtoes on May 26, 2010, 10:41:09 pm
Queued up all my valuables for trading then asked a simple question: "What does 'o' do?"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rex_Nex on May 27, 2010, 04:47:22 am
"Elven merchant seems ecstatic with the trading!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on May 27, 2010, 05:11:33 am
Quote from: bloodtoes on May 26, 2010, 10:41:09 pm
Queued up all my valuables for trading then asked a simple question: "What does 'o' do?"

now hopefully you learned the "sieze" bit next.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hjd_uk on May 27, 2010, 06:15:01 am
More than once i've spent literally 10mins going through the colossal list of single items, marking dozens of things for trade on both side and accidentally hit Esc once too many times when examining goods.....

.. Ho-kay, lets start again from scratch *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: I am Leo on May 27, 2010, 07:04:17 am
Realizing a moment too late that the elaborate magma moat system I'd devised had one flaw.
I had a floodgate in what I thought was a normal corridor, it turned out it was over a channel. Lava now flows out under my floodgate and I can't stop it.
I hastily compensated with a series of overflow tunnels chanelling the lava down into my unused, water filled first cavern layer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deathworks on May 27, 2010, 12:22:31 pm
Hi!

Quote from: hjd_uk on May 27, 2010, 06:15:01 am
More than once i've spent literally 10mins going through the colossal list of single items, marking dozens of things for trade on both side and accidentally hit Esc once too many times when examining goods.....

.. Ho-kay, lets start again from scratch *facepalm*

Please, please never remind me of that. The horror, the horror...

A while ago, I wanted to experiment with getting turtles onto a turtleless map by importing turtles. As vermin cages are not listed as such, I had to check every unmarked cage to separate the turtles from the hedgehogs... That were the longest trading sessions I ever had, I think.

I wonder if the view command could be given a separate key for its exit - that would solve this problem nicely...

Deathworks
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eidako on May 27, 2010, 07:10:29 pm
Trees? In my pipes? It's more likely than you think.
(alternatively: It's not a big trunk. It's a cave tube!)
(http://i208.photobucket.com/albums/bb194/eidako/TreesInMyPipes.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Genkora on May 27, 2010, 11:49:16 pm
I was building some irrigation channels for some above ground ground farming (some of the squares were not soil) and accidentally connected my channel to a long up/down staircase tunnel which I had been using to find my magma pipe.  It was fine at first, but one of my dwarves had decided it would be a better idea to place a floodgate from the inner part of the channel, effectively trapping himself.  I noticed the staircase which led to the outside 2 squares away, and without really thinking about what it was I channeled a little pathway for my dwarf to get out.  Lets just say flooding the entirety of your exploratory mines is not good for frame rates.  However, I was already finished exploring, so it wasn't game ending, it just took a very long time for the mines to fill up, eventually restoring my framerate.

I tried pouring magma into the up/down staircases, but water flows quite a bit faster than magma, so obsidian kept forming one square too far away.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: vonduus on May 28, 2010, 05:04:09 am
Reading this thread was occasion for quite a few facepalms on my part. I guess I have made almost all the mistakes that can be made in this game, some of them without realizing it before reading this. This is a great thread! I believe it will save me from a lot of facepalming in the future.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Milskidasith on May 28, 2010, 07:51:52 pm
The fact that a ant spearwoman with only shields, a wooden spear, and a few friends could spend three month fighting a forgotten beast, but my legendary fighter/legendary axe user chopped her in half then got his arm broken and his ear nearly ripped off being pushed by the pathetic creature, while trying to use a spear he wasn't ordered to carry.

The fact that, right as my military saved an unfortunate woodcutter from a very incompetent giant cave spider who couldn't ever hit and had his bites deflect off of cloth clothes, he bites the guy in the head and the woodcutter bleeds out.

:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AngleWyrm on May 29, 2010, 03:38:31 am
(http://img710.imageshack.us/img710/6122/facepalmo.png)
Moral of the story? Don't put the floodgate control levers in the room you're flooding.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Golcondio on May 29, 2010, 07:45:26 am
Just happened 1 sec ago: I was taking advantage of winter to build a series of 8 water wheels over ice while the rest of my power plant was getting built; the wheels were in position, the last bit was the gearwheel that would have prevented them from falling when ice thawed.
And of course, the ice melted while the mechanic was 3 tiles away from the construction spot for the gearwheel!!!

Next time, supports first I guess...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: eddy the lip on May 29, 2010, 11:08:08 am
In a desperate effort to maintain framerate I've been dumping stones in quantum piles. Discovered just now that the same menu for mass dumping has an option for mass reclaiming. (d > b > c for others that have been wearing out the 'f' key.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Godmouth on May 29, 2010, 02:37:55 pm
Designating a huge room for mining without paying attention to the adamantine vein in the middle.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Old-one-eye on May 29, 2010, 07:37:54 pm
Just had my fledgling fortress inta-killed by a skeletal lungfish.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Milskidasith on May 29, 2010, 10:42:12 pm
I just accidentally, when turning off all stones but slate in an attempt to process my mayor's request for slade goods (I didn't see he wanted spoilerstones!), turned all stones back on.

I didn't hit any economic stones... except raw adamantine. I now have an adamantine table, a mechanism, three doors, and an armor stand. That could have equipped a half squad with weapons! At least I've still got more than enough to equip them all with adamantine weapons, and adamantine armor adds only marginal benefits over iron against common foes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Old-one-eye on May 30, 2010, 01:26:05 pm
A farmer just locked himself in a room by building the floodgate from the inside. *shakes head in dismay*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xtank5 on May 30, 2010, 01:27:26 pm
Isn't that floodgate going to be lever operated anyway?  Just build one and get him out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beardless on May 30, 2010, 01:59:58 pm
So much facepalming in my new fort, and it all has to do with the new military.

1) I embarked expecting to augment my food stores with hunting--and promptly discovered that crossbows basically don't work.

2) After playing with squad settings and getting familiar with them, decided to issue a kill order on a giant desert scorpion. A) The marksdwarf (who was cross-trained in hammers and therefore not completely useless) decided she was scared to leave the barracks, and kept running back every time she got more than ten squares away. B) My woodcutter/axedwarf, despite having successfully swapped between civilian and military status several times, decides that this time he needs to drop his axe before charging into battle. Hilarity ensued.

3) Marksdwarf gets over her phobia and catches the scorpion right at the edge of the map. She swings, she hits! --and the crossbow gets stuck in the wound. Oops.

4) One month later, I am informed that "Berlar, Giant Desert Scorpion has become attached to a pair of (pig tail trousers)!" Upon investigation I discover that yes, Berlar is wielding the unfortunate axedwarf's trousers and

5) beating the poor marksdwarf to a pulp with them. Literally. (Missing teeth, damaged organs, broken spine, massive bleeding...) Also, when the trousers get stuck in a wound, Berlar twists them.

6) Three months later, they're still at it. The poor marksdwarf is in even worse condition, but will not die. Or get hungry or thirsty, come to think of it. (I'm periodically taking screenshots of her [z] screen. The wounds section is running over 40 lines now.) I've had to disable the "Recover wounded" labor on all my dwarves due to job-cancellation spam.

7) In the middle of all of this, I noticed a new combat report. Apparently one of my war dogs killed a vulture, making it the best hunter AND fighter in my fort. And to think that I normally just tie them up to spot thieves...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Milskidasith on May 30, 2010, 02:09:45 pm
Quote from: Beardless on May 30, 2010, 01:59:58 pm
So much facepalming in my new fort, and it all has to do with the new military.

1) I embarked expecting to augment my food stores with hunting--and promptly discovered that crossbows basically don't work.

2) After playing with squad settings and getting familiar with them, decided to issue a kill order on a giant desert scorpion. A) The marksdwarf (who was cross-trained in hammers and therefore not completely useless) decided she was scared to leave the barracks, and kept running back every time she got more than ten squares away. B) My woodcutter/axedwarf, despite having successfully swapped between civilian and military status several times, decides that this time he needs to drop his axe before charging into battle. Hilarity ensued.

3) Marksdwarf gets over her phobia and catches the scorpion right at the edge of the map. She swings, she hits! --and the crossbow gets stuck in the wound. Oops.

4) One month later, I am informed that "Berlar, Giant Desert Scorpion has become attached to a pair of (pig tail trousers)!" Upon investigation I discover that yes, Berlar is wielding the unfortunate axedwarf's trousers and

5) beating the poor marksdwarf to a pulp with them. Literally. (Missing teeth, damaged organs, broken spine, massive bleeding...) Also, when the trousers get stuck in a wound, Berlar twists them.

6) Three months later, they're still at it. The poor marksdwarf is in even worse condition, but will not die. Or get hungry or thirsty, come to think of it. (I'm periodically taking screenshots of her [z] screen. The wounds section is running over 40 lines now.) I've had to disable the "Recover wounded" labor on all my dwarves due to job-cancellation spam.

7) In the middle of all of this, I noticed a new combat report. Apparently one of my war dogs killed a vulture, making it the best hunter AND fighter in my fort. And to think that I normally just tie them up to spot thieves...

Kill orders are bugged. Issue move orders, either directly at the creature (if you're pretty sure you can take it with your fastest dwarf) or a few squares away, then once the dwarfs arrive, at the creature (if you need the ability to group up).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yelloq on May 30, 2010, 07:11:04 pm
A while back, in 40d, I was digging out sleeping quarters for my entire fortress (one room per dwarf. One facepalm right there, because the rooms ended up being meager anyways.) when I found some 'damp' stone. So I said "WTF, damp? Maybe 1 water level?" Boy was I fucking wrong. It was an aquifier. There went most of my rooms. Next, I decide to stop the huge surge of water from getting to my other rooms. I build half a wall, get job cancellation. Dig downward stair way INTO MY MINES. Water floods down, but continues into my fort. I finally build a full wall, and I am finally safe from the flood.
I count 3 facepalms.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Old-one-eye on May 31, 2010, 05:07:52 am
Quote from: xtank5 on May 30, 2010, 01:27:26 pm
Isn't that floodgate going to be lever operated anyway?  Just build one and get him out.
It's not one I ever intend to open so why waste the time and resources on building mechanisms and linking them for the sake of a dumb farmer? :P I did dig him out so I'm not a complete bastard.  :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zergl on May 31, 2010, 05:16:29 am
Quote from: Old-one-eye on May 31, 2010, 05:07:52 am
Quote from: xtank5 on May 30, 2010, 01:27:26 pm
Isn't that floodgate going to be lever operated anyway?  Just build one and get him out.
It's not one I ever intend to open so why waste the time and resources on building mechanisms and linking them for the sake of a dumb farmer? :P I did dig him out so I'm not a complete bastard.  :)

Admit it, he just had too many friends and you didn't feel like dealing with a tantrum spiral. :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Old-one-eye on May 31, 2010, 07:30:43 am
Quote from: zergl on May 31, 2010, 05:16:29 am
Quote from: Old-one-eye on May 31, 2010, 05:07:52 am
Quote from: xtank5 on May 30, 2010, 01:27:26 pm
Isn't that floodgate going to be lever operated anyway?  Just build one and get him out.
It's not one I ever intend to open so why waste the time and resources on building mechanisms and linking them for the sake of a dumb farmer? :P I did dig him out so I'm not a complete bastard.  :)

Admit it, he just had too many friends and you didn't feel like dealing with a tantrum spiral. :P
(http://img705.imageshack.us/img705/7443/1264828116927.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RumblingNoise on May 31, 2010, 09:47:30 am
So.. I had this brilliant idea about piercing the aquifer during winter but the results were less than satisfactory...
(http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/3014/carpfood.png)
Ambushed by the cursed spring  >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bronze Dog on May 31, 2010, 02:38:45 pm
Still newish, so I don't have all that many stories.

1. Miner channeling himself off a cliff. Twice. Same miner.

2. As with many others, "offer" at trading.

3. From reading this thread: I assigned my arsenal dwarf to the military. The bookkeeping involved with that is a civilian job, and a bug can prevent military dwarves from ever returning to civvie life.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kidiri on May 31, 2010, 04:22:24 pm
Assign another arsenal dwarf?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bronze Dog on May 31, 2010, 09:41:58 pm
Hindsight's a pain, isn't it?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Asellus on May 31, 2010, 11:54:42 pm
I have a tendency to zone out when playing games, often times playing for several hours only to find out I have no idea what I've done.
After doing that while playing, I noticed I had a lever, which, for reasons beyond my understanding, I decided to pull. I have no idea why I made a lever to destroy a mountain.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chronas on June 01, 2010, 01:34:02 am
Quote from: Asellus on May 31, 2010, 11:54:42 pm
I have a tendency to zone out when playing games, often times playing for several hours only to find out I have no idea what I've done.
After doing that while playing, I noticed I had a lever, which, for reasons beyond my understanding, I decided to pull. I have no idea why I made a lever to destroy a mountain.
Asellus has been posessed!
Asellus has claimed a mountain!
Asellus has begun a mysterious construction!
Asellus has crafted Stonefall, a granite doomsday device!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: docawesome on June 01, 2010, 01:56:54 am
I started out with one miner thinking that would be enough and the first message I got was that a raccoon stole my one pick axe, never before have I felt so defeated.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Obibun on June 01, 2010, 03:35:30 am
Quote from: docawesome on June 01, 2010, 01:56:54 am
I started out with one miner thinking that would be enough and the first message I got was that a raccoon stole my one pick axe, never before have I felt so defeated.

Okay, I laughed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Old-one-eye on June 01, 2010, 05:27:55 am
(http://img210.imageshack.us/img210/6555/failw.jpg)
I decided to channel out the roof above my trade depot, meaning to build a floor to link to a tower I built. Forgetting that I'd dug a cavern beneath for goblin invaders to fall into.

The image above speaks for itself.

EDIT: Oh, and my legendary miner fell 10 z levels to his death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Internet Kraken on June 01, 2010, 11:21:56 pm
My new fort is going rather well so far, but my advancement crawled to a halt due to a series of unfortunate events.

First, a channeling accident knocks out my best miner. The newbie has to take over for him while he rests in the hospital. This of course cripples my expansion as mining is now carried out by a single dwarf. Eventually I decide to assign one of my haulers to mining just to speed things up a bit, only to find that my unconscious dwarf is still stubbornly holding onto his pick. Through some fiddling I manage to get it away from him, only to find that my dwarves still won't use it. I give up, assuming that the pick was lost due to a glitch.

Many months later my miner finally gets back up, only to find that he is unable to mine. I wasn't going to take that. I messed around with some menus until I found a way to locate the lost pick. Turns out the garbage dump I had put it in was next to a murky pool, so the pick tumbled in rendering it inaccessible. I told my miner to tunnel it out. Right before opening the last tile, he went to bed. Then he decided to go on break. A mere tile away from giving my miner back his ability to work, he went on break.

 :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JohnLukeG on June 02, 2010, 02:34:04 am
My greatest champion was feeling miserable due to a recent goblin attack.  I sent him to his room to relax.  I ordered a gold statue to be delivered to him.  A woodcutter drops it off, but starts throwing a tantrum and cut's my champion's dog in half with his axe. 

The champion goes berserk and murders 50 dwarves.  (Including the woodcutter)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Old-one-eye on June 02, 2010, 04:51:23 am
Quote from: Internet Kraken on June 01, 2010, 11:21:56 pm
My new fort is going rather well so far, but my advancement crawled to a halt due to a series of unfortunate events.

First, a channeling accident knocks out my best miner. The newbie has to take over for him while he rests in the hospital. This of course cripples my expansion as mining is now carried out by a single dwarf. Eventually I decide to assign one of my haulers to mining just to speed things up a bit, only to find that my unconscious dwarf is still stubbornly holding onto his pick. Through some fiddling I manage to get it away from him, only to find that my dwarves still won't use it. I give up, assuming that the pick was lost due to a glitch.

Many months later my miner finally gets back up, only to find that he is unable to mine. I wasn't going to take that. I messed around with some menus until I found a way to locate the lost pick. Turns out the garbage dump I had put it in was next to a murky pool, so the pick tumbled in rendering it inaccessible. I told my miner to tunnel it out. Right before opening the last tile, he went to bed. Then he decided to go on break. A mere tile away from giving my miner back his ability to work, he went on break.

 :(
forge a new pick?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: YellowPebble on June 02, 2010, 06:47:58 am
Not a major one this, but my second ever well has a small design flaw.
The well pool is filled by a reservoir, which is itself filled from a river. Two floodgates separate the reservoir from the river and the well pool from the reservoir (they are never open together, thus
ensuring that I can't accidentally flood the entire fortress).
Unfortunately, the reservoir is both bigger than the well pool and higher up... Consequently, the floodgate that fills the well pool has to be closed quickly after opening it, or the well room floods with water (which soon spreads out and evaporates, so no huge deal).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Internet Kraken on June 02, 2010, 06:49:26 pm
Quote from: Old-one-eye on June 02, 2010, 04:51:23 am
Quote from: Internet Kraken on June 01, 2010, 11:21:56 pm
My new fort is going rather well so far, but my advancement crawled to a halt due to a series of unfortunate events.

First, a channeling accident knocks out my best miner. The newbie has to take over for him while he rests in the hospital. This of course cripples my expansion as mining is now carried out by a single dwarf. Eventually I decide to assign one of my haulers to mining just to speed things up a bit, only to find that my unconscious dwarf is still stubbornly holding onto his pick. Through some fiddling I manage to get it away from him, only to find that my dwarves still won't use it. I give up, assuming that the pick was lost due to a glitch.

Many months later my miner finally gets back up, only to find that he is unable to mine. I wasn't going to take that. I messed around with some menus until I found a way to locate the lost pick. Turns out the garbage dump I had put it in was next to a murky pool, so the pick tumbled in rendering it inaccessible. I told my miner to tunnel it out. Right before opening the last tile, he went to bed. Then he decided to go on break. A mere tile away from giving my miner back his ability to work, he went on break.

 :(
forge a new pick?

I would have if I had a managed to set up my forge area yet. I didn't get around to doing that until later. Of course now everything is fine and I have 5 miners constantly digging.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendus on June 03, 2010, 10:53:21 am
If you bring an anvil (which you should, they're only 100 embark points now) setting up temporary forging early on is probably a good idea. Good trade goods, backup armor in case of ambush, replacement axes, picks, and other tools... there are dozens of reasons to make one, even if you have no magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Conservative Swine on June 03, 2010, 11:04:57 am
Just had one:

Still with the initial embark 7, I created a Burrow and added all 7 to it. The Burrow contains the dorm and the not finished dining area with no stockpiles. Time passes and my dwarves are getting pissed off thirsting and starving to death, trapped inside. Then it hits me; shit was fine before the Burrow so I should delete it. As soon as I do, they all rush back to the booze and food stockpile. It was hilarious.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Virodhi on June 03, 2010, 11:18:45 am
Apparently, starting the day on a blonde moment is becoming my thing.

As a bridge retracts to dump some loiterers of the goblin variety into the river, I'm struck by a thought: "Wasn't I planning to rebuild this as a drawbridge? Why was that?"

Oh yeah: because two z-levels directly below is another bridge, this one in the middle of my residential hub. Good times forever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Old-one-eye on June 03, 2010, 11:20:34 am
Quote from: Virodhi on June 03, 2010, 11:18:45 am
Apparently, starting the day on a blonde moment is becoming my thing.

As a bridge retracts to dump some loiterers of the goblin variety into the river, I'm struck by a thought: "Wasn't I planning to rebuild this as a drawbridge? Why was that?"

Oh yeah: because two z-levels directly below is another bridge, this one in the middle of my residential hub. Good times forever.
Ouch XD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Z1000000m on June 03, 2010, 11:47:32 am
(gen mod)
i embarked on a nice 2d df looking spot (mountain to the right, thick forest on the left, joyful wilds/untamed widls)
lots of galena so my bin and barrels are metal (seems more dorfly than pussy wood)
its the 4th year and im still in my hole, trying to make masterpieces for rooms before i move to the already carved home
a dire wolf pack decided to hang around my hole
dorf caravan guards figure they will give me some protection for my gem business with them
tired of forging and melting golden statues i decided to look up on the reports
"dwarven speardwarf strikes the dire wolf in the upper body breaking the guts!"
dire wolf vomits x10

i decide to look at this
wolf somehow managed to escaped the guard, vomiting blood on my walls
"haha, you had it coming ,asshole!"
then i see something smokelike on the northern part of my screen
"miasma? outdoors? 0.31? No way."
It was a fire. Two fires actually. The guard was a obsidian dwarf (they throw fireballs)
"Damn! i have no way of stopping this.. Gotta make a burrow and fast"

notes to self

1)Lead Bins tend to melt fast
2) charcoal is fireproof (wtf?!)
3) at 150 fps, fire is VERY fast
4) fiber sandbags resist fire
5) wooden objects that didnt burn turn into weared off objects
6) bone objects mangle in fire
time for some j m q iron bin
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Z1000000m on June 03, 2010, 11:50:25 am
i pressed quote instead of modify

-remove-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Noble Digger on June 03, 2010, 04:20:40 pm
Quote from: Z1000000m on June 03, 2010, 11:50:25 am
i pressed quote instead of modify

-remove-

Well, you picked the right thread to mistake in :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AngleWyrm on June 04, 2010, 10:05:02 am
Earliest Fun moment today: At the embark screen, loading my standard group and I get the food warning message "No plump helmets, no plump helmet spawn".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shirafor on June 04, 2010, 03:10:45 pm
I'm still pretty new to DF, I probably shouldn't be playing the newest version, but meh. So I accidentally let out one of the goblin thieves I caught and so I thought it would be a good opportunity to test out the military for the first time. I send my military down there with training axes (I know that they're useless, but I thought they'd be able to at least knock out the gobby), and then I watch as all 8 of them spend the next few minutes having their blows deflected by the gobby's silk clothes. -_____-

Lesson learned:
DON'T use training axes EVER

(I think I'm going to have to disband them then re-enlist them. I have some adamantine, so I'll probably start making that into weapons, and let them go at the gobby then)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on June 04, 2010, 06:25:55 pm
Don't worry even long time players have facepalm moments.

Going for a ramping downward spiral entrance to my .05 fort. Water diverted in from the local river (which actually has fish in it now! yay!). My usual method is just a 3x3 stack of up/down stairs. Though it's not like this is something I haven't done hundreds of times before, I managed to screw it up.

Digging the channel to connect the river to the central waterfall, no failsafe installed.  No mechanic and as I said before, I did this hundreds of times before I don't need a failsafe, I have plenty of drainage into the cavern.  Unfortunately I forgot to channel out one level of the hole the waterfall passes through and it begins flooding the fortress.  It's not too bad though, a lot of the water is flowing down the ramps to the lower levels where the water can drain away.  I designate a wall to be built to keep most of the water out of the workshops and my two double duty miner/masons rush to work to build them.

..and then promptly get washed down the ramps into the drainage pit and fall 8 z levels into the cavern making a awesome sounding wet splat, the fortress' only picks in tow.

and there's my facepalm for the day.  Double check your drainage systems to make sure they are fully channeled out before connecting your water source.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Djohaal on June 04, 2010, 10:03:09 pm
Quote from: Greiger on June 04, 2010, 06:25:55 pm
Don't worry even long time players have facepalm moments.

Going for a ramping downward spiral entrance to my .05 fort. Water diverted in from the local river (which actually has fish in it now! yay!). My usual method is just a 3x3 stack of up/down stairs. Though it's not like this is something I haven't done hundreds of times before, I managed to screw it up.

Digging the channel to connect the river to the central waterfall, no failsafe installed.  No mechanic and as I said before, I did this hundreds of times before I don't need a failsafe, I have plenty of drainage into the cavern.  Unfortunately I forgot to channel out one level of the hole the waterfall passes through and it begins flooding the fortress.  It's not too bad though, a lot of the water is flowing down the ramps to the lower levels where the water can drain away.  I designate a wall to be built to keep most of the water out of the workshops and my two double duty miner/masons rush to work to build them.

..and then promptly get washed down the ramps into the drainage pit and fall 8 z levels into the cavern making a awesome sounding wet splat, the fortress' only picks in tow.

and there's my facepalm for the day.  Double check your drainage systems to make sure they are fully channeled out before connecting your water source.

That sir, is epic.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on June 05, 2010, 01:16:39 am
I just embarked on a cave on a glacier. I don't think I will survive. My dwarves ended up on top of the cave. There was a giant inside (that's what I get for not doing my research). I had three axes and three mail shirts (I was ready for a fight). My dwarves kill the giant and what comes rushing out of the cave?

Five more giants.

EDIT: Three seconds, the giants zerg rush the cave entrance, and...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The planter is standing on corpse #5.

EDIT2: [wtf]THERE WAS ANOTHER GIANTESS IN THE CAVERNS.[/wtf] Emphasis on "was." My dwarves chased it to the edge of the map, where a giant cave spider spawned a few seconds later - immediately after axedwarf training on live targets was set to be over. Needless to say, the axedwarves were still there, and used the spider as extra credit.

And that was my first spring on the glacier of Joyuos Hellish Wilds.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Biag on June 05, 2010, 02:33:52 pm
Started a new fort yesterday. It was going smoothly; I had dug down to the caverns, I had fought off around ten or so ghouls with minimal casualties, and I had food and booze production set up. My two miners (one of which was my best warrior) were digging out a three-level dining room. There were going to be floors in between levels, and it would get smaller. The idea was that the largest level would be the "rich" hall, and the smallest would be for the poor people. That didn't work out so well.

You see, I thought that all the floors above my two miners were supported.

I thought.

And that's how my miners sacrificed themselves, my picks, and twenty tons of rock to discover a great magma sea.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on June 05, 2010, 04:35:55 pm
But now you can make a dining hall suspended above an ocean of magma. ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on June 06, 2010, 01:28:06 am
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on June 05, 2010, 04:35:55 pm
But now you can make a dining hall suspended above an ocean of magma. ;)

"I think my steak is a little undercooked."

"Just hold it over the side for a second."

Epic.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Keldor on June 06, 2010, 08:38:54 am
Well, at least I've confirmed that crossbows work properly for hunting in the new version...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yeah... So after the hunter unloaded a full quiver into the camel, it eventually bled out... with no less than 4 bolts sticking out of it... :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zergl on June 06, 2010, 08:49:23 am
Quote from: Keldor on June 06, 2010, 08:38:54 am
Well, at least I've confirmed that crossbows work properly for hunting in the new version...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yeah... So after the hunter unloaded a full quiver into the camel, it eventually bled out... with no less than 4 bolts sticking out of it... :o

What bolts is your hunter using?

I usually let mine use silver/steel (whatever the goblins drop, really) bolts and he tends to oneshot animals quite a lot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haspen on June 06, 2010, 09:08:11 am
Quote from: zergl on June 06, 2010, 08:49:23 am
Quote from: Keldor on June 06, 2010, 08:38:54 am
Well, at least I've confirmed that crossbows work properly for hunting in the new version...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yeah... So after the hunter unloaded a full quiver into the camel, it eventually bled out... with no less than 4 bolts sticking out of it... :o

What bolts is your hunter using?

I usually let mine use silver/steel (whatever the goblins drop, really) bolts and he tends to oneshot animals quite a lot.

The bolts leftovers are yellow. Bismuth bronze or some kind of wood, I believe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Keldor on June 06, 2010, 09:09:45 am
Quote from: Haspen on June 06, 2010, 09:08:11 am
Quote from: zergl on June 06, 2010, 08:49:23 am
Quote from: Keldor on June 06, 2010, 08:38:54 am
Well, at least I've confirmed that crossbows work properly for hunting in the new version...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yeah... So after the hunter unloaded a full quiver into the camel, it eventually bled out... with no less than 4 bolts sticking out of it... :o

What bolts is your hunter using?

I usually let mine use silver/steel (whatever the goblins drop, really) bolts and he tends to oneshot animals quite a lot.

The bolts leftovers are yellow. Bismuth bronze or some kind of wood, I believe.

Probably bismuth bronze - whatever he came onto the map with, since he was a recent migrant ranger.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on June 06, 2010, 10:47:09 am
In my experience once he runs out of bolts he will never hunt again.  So make sure you keep him supplied :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: INSANEcyborg on June 06, 2010, 06:00:02 pm
Here's a list of moments from my current fort:

The world I made was small, and there was only 1 dwarf civilization.   They didn't have plump helmets, sweet pods, or dimple cups.  I figured there would be some in the caverns at my fort so I didn't think much of it.   The first two levels were barren, the third only had Bloodthorns growing.   So for underground farming, all I have are quarry bushes, pig tails, and cave wheat.   Hope my dwarfs like salad, biscuits, beer and ale.

First year, getting my underground farms set up.  I finished them around mid autumn, and sent the planter to work.  Only I guess it was too late in the season to plant, and the planter didn't know either.  He somehow plants anyway, and when winter rolls around none of the plants were ready for harvest.  When checking the stocks, and seeing I had no plants or seeds, I realize they must have disappeared when the seasons changed.  I didn't notice until after the caravan left, so I had no seeds for next year either.

I had dug a massive cavern for an underground mega-project.  The stone was piling up faster than I could get rid of it so I started looking for a short cut.  I modded the useless less useful stone to boil away.  Only I set it to boil at a temp of 1, instead of room temperature.  It exploded like liquid nitrogen and now most of my dwarfs have frost bite.  Good news is that it only seems to be on their hair, but it shows up as yellow wounds and doesn't seem to be healing.

Same cavern.  I had dug out every other level with ramps.  That cleared it's level, the one above it, and the floor between, but left floors ever other level.  I collapsed the floors to get rid of them.  Had a couple of problems with that.  First I collapsed the whole thing at once, instead of just the top level and letting that crash though the rest, which caused a 10 minute delay as it calculated everything.  Second was that while I got rid of most stone, I left the marble.  And I didn't realize I had over 10,000 marble, all of which got pushed around by the dust, making even more lag.   Third was that all the marble was coated in multiple types of dust and I hadn't undone the modding to make stone boil.  It was fine if I let it sit but as soon as a dwarf moved it, the dust would boil off in a freezing cloud and cause more frostbite.

Got a message that a dwarf died from colliding with an obstacle.  I look around and see a kid at the bottom of the cavern.   No cave ins, not attacks, only thing that happened was that someone deconstructed a bridge above where he landed.  It didn't even lead anywhere, near as I can figure the kid was following his parent, who was the one taking down the bridge, and the kid walked out on it at the wrong time.

An elf merchant got attacked by some harpies; since he was leaving, and he was an elf, I didn't see a point in helping him.   The harpies weren't even attacking him, just his horse, and they couldn't kill it.  Instead of leaving though, he just runs around in circles, while dragging his horse with him.  The horse that is now leaving trails of blood and vomit all over the surface.   Eventually he goes into melancholy, and just stops.  He doesn't move at all, and just sits there while the harpies continue to beat on his horse.   The horse goes into melancholy about a month later, and some time after that they eventually bleed to death.

Last but not least, I finally got the king to show up at my fort.  I had been looking forward to it, and had set up some nice rooms for him.  Then I look at his status, and he's 160 years old.  Dwarfs die from old age between 150 and 170.  He could literally drop dead at any moment.

That's it, for now anyway.   All in all, one of my better forts  ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on June 06, 2010, 08:53:27 pm
Just had this one. On my first time in a biome where there was frozen water, I took a little too long to move stuff out of my wagon, and it being on a frozen pool, all the stuff that was still in the wagon is now at the bottom of the pool. That includes my anvil, lots of food, booze, and various seeds. This is going to be a pain.

Edit: Okay, this wasn't much of a face palm because I just drained the pool into my farm for mud and have just recovered all the items that I had previously lost. Yay!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on June 07, 2010, 02:10:46 am
There were two Forgotten Beasts in the caverns under my fort.  I know this because one of them, Avuz Eeloar the Umbral Spittle of Phlegm, came up and killed everything in sight before I panicked and save-scummed.

Fast-forward about 2-3 seasons later.  My untested drowning trap is one bridge-trigger away from action.  Then the miners, having been told to dig down a few levels, breach the cavern layer.  Whoops.

I decided to sacrifice a legendary miner.  There are six, and one of them doesn't have any friends.  Sorry, Rovod.  The good of the many, etc., yadda yadda.

He kills the weaker beast before it can even get its claws into a stray donkey calf.  I decide to save him, and give him orders to run away from the giant poison-breathing feathered newt-person.

And, about one second and one predictably disobedient dorf later, I have two dead stray donkeys and two dead beasts.  Every single part of him that exists is bruised, from tongue down to all ten toes, but he's still 100% in the white.  It didn't kill his pets.  It didn't even injure them.

I'm never save-scumming again.

ETA:  And then, immediately after, he goes from white to red and promptly bleeds to death, while aboveground, a dwarven kid falls in the drowning chamber.  Armok giveth and Armok taketh away.  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tompliss on June 07, 2010, 05:10:17 pm
Quote from: INSANEcyborg on June 06, 2010, 06:00:02 pm
Hope my dwarfs like beer.
::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Upright Path on June 07, 2010, 09:47:19 pm
After spending a whole year digging and polishing (I always polish everything, even channels for magma and water), and making TONNES of does and mechanisms to control it all, I find out that retractable bridges can be used as variable length 'doors' and  hatch covers.

That is to say that when they're in the 'down' position, they form a hatch-cover, through which water and magma can't pass.

With no 'retract' direction, they block nothing when they're up and block the ground when they're down.

With a retract direction, then form a 'door' to block the path of anything flowing in that direction.

Put them together and you have a diverter!

This would have saved me so much time, had I thought about it earlier. Heh.

Also, Channeling the square a pile of rocks is on, with empty space beneath can result in massive death: Melty McMechanic happened to be doing some mining at the bottom of a reservoir and one of my other miners channeled a stack of rock out above his head. Torn off a foot and a few other limbs.

Also also, do let your Legendary Crafter's Masterworks get stolen by Rhesus macaques... Who then swarm up on the poor bastard's pet and kill it before running off with their loot. It's dangerous.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Laughing Man on June 07, 2010, 10:01:21 pm
I decided to embark with a hunter.  In the middle of a herd of elephants.  Needless to say, my hunter has rather poor aim and hits every elephant except the one he's shooting at.

There were no survivors.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beardless on June 07, 2010, 10:13:37 pm
Quote from: Laughing Man on June 07, 2010, 10:01:21 pm
I decided to embark with a hunter.  In the middle of a herd of elephants.  Needless to say, my hunter has rather poor aim and hits every elephant except the one he's shooting at.

So that's why my hunter won't hunt! Not enough deadly FUN wildlife.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dungeon on June 08, 2010, 11:25:51 am
A majority of my facepalm moments come from my 4th and currently most successful Fortress, which is in a sort of succession game at present.

The Balded Bears of Onslaught and the Merchants of Roasting.

This 12 year old above/below ground fort suffers greatly from Goblin Ambush's, Snatchers, Food issues, Dwarf stupidity, bizzare unexplainable things, and most of my inexperiance overall. And used to be trolled alot by Raccoons until I managed to whipe them from the face of the map.

But for it, it has become strong. I have a crap ton of Legendary Dwarves, I even have an ungodly strong legendary child dwarf who is the daughter of my one legendary woodcutter.

But onto the facepalming...

Most of the deaths from my Dwarves originally occured due to insanity and suicide as a result.

My original Clerk/Expedition Leader took a fey mood when Balded Bears was still a strictly above ground fort before the great walls were constructed, and since I still thought the land was worthless and didnt know how to frickin dig. He went stark raving mad, but instead of drowning himself after stripping down. He stayed in one spot. By the wagon, and eventually I got the message that he DROWNED. But, he was in AIR. Appearently there was just too much oxygen for him, he had mutated into some Dwarve/Fishman hybrid.

And of course, there was the various Goblin ambush when the great walls had been completed, where they still got in and didnt attack my dwarves. They merely chased an animal out into the swamplands and into the various ponds. Ensuring death for the beast as they went with them. I never did figure out why they would go to all the effort to chase a donkey to its watery death.

Of course, the mere fact that the frequency of the attacks of Goblin ambush's, Snatchers, and invasions of Raccoon's into my fortress had forced me to set my military to activate EVERYONE at once is pretty facepalm worthy in of itself. Imagine, 80+ Dwarves, even improperly equipped ones, barreling down on a bunch of Goblins. Or some Raccoons. I had to do this so often that it was impeding me doing much else, let alone moving underground.

Then of course, there was the great drowning. This was was a multi-Goblin squad ambush. They attacked at two points and I had to activate my military in two different squads. Having gained migrants, I was able to do. But, my Woodcutter and another, whome they tried to ambush, killed one of them, and they ran, and they chased after them. Straight into a pond infront of them...And drowned. Course she chased one of the Goblin's in there too. Meanwhile the others chased after the other squad of Goblins, chased the ones they didnt kill off the map. And on the way back, one by one, walked into a pond and drowned.

It wasnt even a suicide. It was just "Congradulations, we won!, hey, where'd everyone go?, glub! glub! glub!". The mayor, and 10 others, aside from the Woodcuter and her friend. The other two were like "I'LL KILL YOU!, glub! glub! glub!"...I had to revert the save on that one. And I made a point to extend the walls around ALL the nearby Water sources so that cant happen again.

Oh, and now, even after my Fort has been tuned up from my friend playing on it. My Dwarves are so interconnected with each other relationship wise, that if one dies, it threatens to cause a MASSIVE tantrum spiral. Leading to save reversion.

Sometimes the game makes my head hurt.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: deoxys413 on June 08, 2010, 11:40:58 am
Hoo boy, just had a doozy of a faceplam. So I'm working on my coliseum in my new fortress and my first 'siege' arrives consisting of solely of goblin spearmen. I had my cage traps set and ready to go... except they just camped at the edge of the map and caused construction interruptions. This continues for most of the winter until the next one arrives. These guys not only made the spearmen disappear but did what they should have, then proceeded to path to my traps... too bad I hadn't taken into account that they would have mounts for that was all I caught. >>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DarthCloakedDwarf on June 08, 2010, 11:47:27 am
I had the most epic facepalm moment ever.

I had never before considered that flying archers would be able to get to my fortifications to shoot through them. Stupid goblin bowmen and your stupid giant bats...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SethCreiyd on June 08, 2010, 04:09:27 pm
This screenshot was taken about fifteen seconds after my last embark.

(http://i50.tinypic.com/5zehx3.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: cdrcjsn on June 09, 2010, 12:35:28 am
My first fort.  Haven't read the forums or wiki yet.

I keep getting attacked by invisible ghosts and faeries!  I kept thinking "dang, who do my dwarves keep getting possessed and charmed by fey?"

I abandoned my first two forts because of this...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Twisted Mansions on June 09, 2010, 03:14:37 am
Here is a good one I had from 2010 DF when it first came out. My Fortress of Twisted Mansions was quite a successful fortress (access to caverns, keeping the local cavern inhabitants in check, food, booze, military ect.), until a forgotten boost, who was a squirrel made out of glass showed up.  It managed to fight it's way up the main staircase, until my military broke it all over, and it was crawling on glass stubs, still alive mind you. This beast single-handedly scared my entire fortress into a corner, refusing to get anywhere near it, while my military continued to beat it and beat it until they died of starvation, dehydration, or exhaustion. Meanwhile, my civilians were still scared into a corner and would not budge at all with the beast guarding the stairs, allowing more cave beasties inside.

Upon realizing this beast would not die, I abandoned, but still the sheer cirmunstances made me have a "WTF" moment and a long face-palming.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drawde on June 09, 2010, 01:46:01 pm
Using 31.05, I've had a fortress going for a few years.  Yet no new immigrants.  I finally checked the init file, and when I'd changed the numbers from the download, had accidentally set population cap to "00" instead of "80".  As I said, for a few years.   :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bronze Dog on June 09, 2010, 03:30:02 pm
Embarked on a 6x6 map, which my laptop was able to handle pretty well to date. Thought I could handle a waterfall, and felt like carving into some cliffs for a change, so I picked a location with some 8s for slope.

Multiple facepalms occur as follows:

1. Turns out I can't process waterfalls so well.

2. Said waterfall wasn't at the cliffs between the western mountain range and the eastern savanna: It just carved 15 z-levels downward in the otherwise flat plain.

3. When I dig an exploratory shaft, it ends up leading all the way down to z-level 19, suggesting I completely skipped the first two caverns (I got a double-notification of finding the expanse. Deep Pit feature joining two of them?) And it turns out there's a waterfall down there.

4. Normally I dig my first stuff in a soil layer. This time I went into the mountain. Now I have a much greater desire to obliterate all the cheap gray stone.

5. I have a bit of fun (Not of the capital-F variety) with my first waterwheel and pump when my floodgates don't work as expected. Thankfully, I could still close the main input and only have to deal with a lot of unwanted mud. I do end up feeling good about planting more than just one plot of plump helmets, thankfully.

6. Nickel, nickel, nickel, nickel, nickel, nickel. Took me a while before I found some veins I could use to make copper and bronze. Only source of iron was hanging from the ceiling of the deep cavern. Was planning to make an enclosed catwalk to mine it, but I'll be moving on with the update, as well as another reason:

7. No trade. No one shows up, not even the dwarven caravan. I check the civ listing, and there are no significant leaders in the dwarf civ I picked, which apparently affects the caravan, and two animal man tribes. I got my dabbling stonecrafter making all those mugs and training up to the point he created two masterpieces in a row for nothing. If I was a little more experienced, I probably would have tried going for complete self-sufficiency, but the frame rate issues made it less enjoyable.

I think I'll try finding a 4x4 spot closer to home on my next fort in .06.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on June 09, 2010, 06:48:40 pm
Metal facepalm moment.  I have run out of obtainable adamantine for my military, and there wasn't much anyway since every spire I tapped bugged and gained the invisible wall bug shortly after I started harvesting.  Just 2 swords, 2 spears and 3 adamantine mail shirts is all I could get out of 3 spires. I could try going deeper but I don't wanna risk it.  Everything else is being made of iron as I look for some copper and tin to make bronze.  And then I realize something.

My upper fortress is dug into 2 different magnetite veins, I have plenty of iron.  But I already knew that.  What I didn't realize was that I had dug through at least 6 full z levels of MARBLE on my way to the magma.  And I had also found more coal than is present in the entire state of Pennsylvania.  Screw bronze, I can easily make steel.  And massive quantities of it.

I had found all of this within the fortress's first year.  But it's mid-summer of year 3 that I finally put iron+coal+flux together and remember what all that can mean.  I have been using simple iron that whole time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AngleWyrm on June 09, 2010, 07:12:35 pm
Six months into the game and no dwarven caravan. Examine "c"ivilization, hit enter on the dwarves and...
"This civilization has no important leaders."
game over.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eidako on June 09, 2010, 08:04:32 pm
Quote from: Greiger on June 09, 2010, 06:48:40 pm
I had found all of this within the fortress's first year.  But it's mid-summer of year 3 that I finally put iron+coal+flux together and remember what all that can mean.  I have been using simple iron that whole time.

Ditto. Crapton of iron and coal, but it took me a bit to realize that the floors made entirely of marble were flux, so I have a bunch of iron junk in my stockpiles. Part of the problem is that marble isn't marked as an economic stone by default. On the bright side iron bars are easier to produce, letting you train your smiths faster -- now that you're going through the time-consuming process of "refine coal, smelt iron, smelt iron, smelt pig iron, smelt steel", they're putting it to good use by making high quality gear.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weird beard on June 09, 2010, 09:31:50 pm
Several years into running a fort, deciding I want a moat.

Not checking the z level beneath ground level, on which I had created a bunch of stockpiles, channelling out my moat.

Channelling straight through one of my stockpiles, with my moat attached directly to the river. The water filled up my fledgling fort and everybody died. :) Well, I abandoned after I realised that half my dwarves were dead and the fort was doomed, but, you know. Didn't seem much point just watching everybody die.

EDIT:

Another thing, accidentally setting my legendary axedwarf to captain of the guard in 00.31.04. This was only yesterday in fact. By the time I came to rectify the mistake, he had already massacred 8 dwarves, in a fort already well onto the way to a tantrum spiral. Legendary axedwarves give SERIOUS beatings. :|

EDIT: AND another one. Simple but stupid. I set out all the skills for my dwarves... and then accidentally embarked with no items. And I mean NO items. I'd wiped them all, as I often do whilst setting out skills and forgotten to put any back.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Twisted Mansions on June 10, 2010, 05:10:31 am
Lol well, I had a pretty big facepalm moment just now. I somehow accidently forbid my dwarves from harvesting food and was wondering why they werent collecting the crops and such, and this happened almost to the point of starvation until I found the problem. Ugh....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Geocat on June 10, 2010, 05:42:21 pm
So i started a new fortress awhile back and have been having a HELL of a time trying to get any sort of military working with the new military system,and failing hard, I ended up having to disband the entire military before they all tantram spiraled. They had No training except god damn wrestling, which I found out the hard way, is TOTALLY and COMPLETELY useless in the new versions, I mean, trained wrestlers cant even take down UNARMED guys it seems. and I cant for the life of me get them equiped.

 So I just say to hell with the military until there's some bug fixes/ or I figure out how to work the damn thing.

So I make TONS and TONS of traps in the long and winding entrance to my fortress, and it seems to be going good, not a single goblin was able to get even past the halfway point of the trapped filled hall. And then something that I have personally never seen happen, or even knew that it was possible happens. kolbold ambush! I have never been ambushed by them before, ever. six kolbolds with little bows, kinda cute intil they promptly ended my fishing industry with a hail of surprisingly accurate little arrows. So I order my drawfs into their burrows, and then things get even worse, a drawf caravan arrives, while my fishing industry is being finished, and then THE CARAVAN IS AMBUSHED BY EVEN MORE  kobolds, this like six  kobold swords men and about 4 more bowmen, and for some reason, a human pikeman. So the caravan guards all charge, in, kill the human, the archers get a few lucky head shots and some guards go down, and then the caravan retreats off the map, and now both groups of kolbolds kinda meet up near my fortress entrance, I'm confident I have enough traps to take them all down.

*Facepalm*, like kolbold theifs they dont trigger traps it seems,I didnt even consider that (well I didnt know kobolds COULD ambush. and the entire kobolds force enters my fortress totally almost totally unhindered well somehow, 3 of them triggered cage traps. dont know how or why.

my last line of defense at least was mostly effective though, about half of my drawfs has a wardog. and when the kolbolds entered the burrow, about 30+ war dogs got real angry.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mnjiman on June 10, 2010, 07:56:16 pm
have your dwarfs use Axes, and set them to inactive. remember to give them a barracks and set the barracks to let them train in it, as well as the other options.

While on inactive duty they will go there and train.

Dont use the kill command it doesnt always work, and move your dwarfs using s > select squad > m > click on location
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BlackRogue on June 10, 2010, 08:30:37 pm
Embarked on top of a dragon. 'Nuff said.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: style on June 11, 2010, 01:29:19 pm
two words: irrigation system

I am just evacuating food and booze into the top level to avoid a total failure.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haspen on June 11, 2010, 01:48:57 pm
Went into challenge on 40d.

Preparing my sturdy dwarves to survive in tundra, with water deep away, and without immigrants [POPULATION_CAP:7]. Name of the fort: Sabrewinters (Astakath)

Everything neatly prepared, all points spend, needed skills spread amongst dwarves, every Plump Helmet of the heap counted, barrels of booze, wood and some helpful stuff, as well as bit of steel gear for a hammerdwarf (undead-infested hills around).

Embark.

So at start I say: "Go, proud miner Urist! Strike the Earth!"

Urist blinks '?' at me: "With what?"

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: style on June 11, 2010, 01:58:08 pm
Quote from: Haspen on June 11, 2010, 01:48:57 pm
Went into challenge on 40d.

Preparing my sturdy dwarves to survive in tundra, with water deep away, and without immigrants [POPULATION_CAP:7]. Name of the fort: Sabrewinters (Astakath)

Everything neatly prepared, all points spend, needed skills spread amongst dwarves, every Plump Helmet of the heap counted, barrels of booze, wood and some helpful stuff, as well as bit of steel gear for a hammerdwarf (undead-infested hills around).

Embark.

So at start I say: "Go, proud miner Urist! Strike the Earth!"

Urist blinks '?' at me: "With what?"

*facepalm*

So you can probably begin digging in late autumn, when the first caravan arrives. Given that your dwarfs don't die of hunger or thirst afore. Nice challenge. Maybe you have to kill 3 or 5 of your dwarfs to stretch the rations.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on June 11, 2010, 02:08:24 pm
If you have enough wood, you can melt the hammerdwarf's gear to make a pick.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haspen on June 11, 2010, 02:36:03 pm
Quote from: Lord Shonus on June 11, 2010, 02:08:24 pm
If you have enough wood, you can melt the hammerdwarf's gear to make a pick.
The problem is, I had a choice:

Either steel battle gear or anvil. Yeah :P

But I have 30 logs, so I will make a hovel + beds + storage and somehow survive it. Does someone knows if distance from mountain home counts? Because I'm literally on the other side of the world.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deathworks on June 11, 2010, 02:43:37 pm
Hi!

I don't think distance to mountain homes has any effect. I usually settle in the biggest elven forest with contact to at least one more civ and then pick the dwarven civ for my home civ with the most settlements (I love history and trade). So, I sometimes do get a dwarven civ that is very far from where my fortress is - and the caravan in the first year always showed up.

Given the introduction text upon embark, I guess that caravan is hard-coded as it is mentioned explicitly.

I only had a small face-palm in my current fortress because I dug a down staircase below the central up/down staircase instead of an up staircase. So, now I have an ugly, useless down stair case below an up/down staircase leading down into thin air and a bent in my main stairwell as I had to dig a new up/down staircase to get an up staircase where I needed it.

Fortunately, this is only the surface connector part of the fortress, so the inconvenience is not that bad.

Deathworks
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haspen on June 11, 2010, 02:48:38 pm
Hmmm, I kinda already like that fortress.

Hammerdwarf just destroyed several skeletal groundhogs. I will have bones for crafts. Then i will get the pick from caravan.

Cool plan, we will see how long I will survive :3
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eidako on June 11, 2010, 02:49:47 pm
You are aware that you can build a stone up-down stair on top of a carved-out down staircase?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on June 11, 2010, 03:33:00 pm
Quote from: Haspen on June 11, 2010, 02:36:03 pm
Quote from: Lord Shonus on June 11, 2010, 02:08:24 pm
If you have enough wood, you can melt the hammerdwarf's gear to make a pick.
The problem is, I had a choice:

Either steel battle gear or anvil. Yeah :P

But I have 30 logs, so I will make a hovel + beds + storage and somehow survive it. Does someone knows if distance from mountain home counts? Because I'm literally on the other side of the world.
Still doable, if harder. You should be able to get 4 bars and make an anvil, but that would really cut into your armor.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kidiri on June 11, 2010, 03:51:48 pm
Quote from: Lord Shonus on June 11, 2010, 03:33:00 pm
Quote from: Haspen on June 11, 2010, 02:36:03 pm
Quote from: Lord Shonus on June 11, 2010, 02:08:24 pm
If you have enough wood, you can melt the hammerdwarf's gear to make a pick.
The problem is, I had a choice:

Either steel battle gear or anvil. Yeah :P

But I have 30 logs, so I will make a hovel + beds + storage and somehow survive it. Does someone knows if distance from mountain home counts? Because I'm literally on the other side of the world.
Still doable, if harder. You should be able to get 4 bars and make an anvil, but that would really cut into your armor.
How would you go about making an anvil without a forge?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Labhras on June 11, 2010, 04:11:53 pm
Build it out of dwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on June 11, 2010, 08:23:01 pm
I forgot that you can't cast an anvil at the smelter in vanilla. (I added that reaction for practice, and got used to it being there.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Internet Kraken on June 12, 2010, 12:33:21 am
Things were going pretty well on my new ocean fort. Then my Forgemaster suddenly died. Not sure how, though I think a Kobold thief knifed him and I didn't notice. He died of thirst since I didn't have a stable water source established.

No big deal though. After all, it's just one dwarf......oh, my mason just went berserk. I guess I'll have to kill him to......WTF WHY IS THE GRAVEYARD FILLED WITH TWELVE CORPSES!?!?

Yeah. That's how things went for me in my last fortress. In the span of about 5 minutes, a dozen dwarves died without me noticing. I have no idea how this happened, so I'm save scumming. I don't mind losing my fort so long as I actually know what the hell happened. Right now it looks like those dwarves dropped dead for no reason, since I only got the announcement for the Forgemasters death.

EDIT: Just checked my game. Apparently, I ran out of booze without noticing, so all of my dwarves simultaneously died from thirst. I feel really stupid.

EDIT 2: Even when putting up a well as quickly as possible, I still lose 6 dwarves. Tantrum spiral, here I come.

EDIT 3: Make that 7. Dwarven intelligence; placing construction ahead of basic survival.

EDIT 4: 8. I lost 8 dwarves to this one mistake.

EDIT 5: 10. ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deathworks on June 12, 2010, 09:11:33 am
Hi!

Quote from: Internet Kraken on June 12, 2010, 12:33:21 am
Things were going pretty well on my new ocean fort. Then my Forgemaster suddenly died. Not sure how, though I think a Kobold thief knifed him and I didn't notice. He died of thirst since I didn't have a stable water source established.
...
EDIT 2: Even when putting up a well as quickly as possible, I still lose 6 dwarves. Tantrum spiral, here I come.
...

Just to make sure, your well is not salt water, is it? I would expect it, given that you are at the ocean...

Deathworks
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Internet Kraken on June 12, 2010, 11:26:19 am
Quote from: Deathworks on June 12, 2010, 09:11:33 am
Hi!

Quote from: Internet Kraken on June 12, 2010, 12:33:21 am
Things were going pretty well on my new ocean fort. Then my Forgemaster suddenly died. Not sure how, though I think a Kobold thief knifed him and I didn't notice. He died of thirst since I didn't have a stable water source established.
...
EDIT 2: Even when putting up a well as quickly as possible, I still lose 6 dwarves. Tantrum spiral, here I come.
...

Just to make sure, your well is not salt water, is it? I would expect it, given that you are at the ocean...

Deathworks

Last time i read the wiki, it said wells automatically purified any water pumped through it. I thought that hadn't changed. If it did, then my fortress has no chance.

EDIT: Just checked the wiki, and it appears you are right. I'm surprised this hasn't caused any problems yet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: thijser on June 12, 2010, 02:51:17 pm
Quote from: Internet Kraken on June 12, 2010, 11:26:19 am
Quote from: Deathworks on June 12, 2010, 09:11:33 am
Hi!

Quote from: Internet Kraken on June 12, 2010, 12:33:21 am
Things were going pretty well on my new ocean fort. Then my Forgemaster suddenly died. Not sure how, though I think a Kobold thief knifed him and I didn't notice. He died of thirst since I didn't have a stable water source established.
...
EDIT 2: Even when putting up a well as quickly as possible, I still lose 6 dwarves. Tantrum spiral, here I come.
...

Just to make sure, your well is not salt water, is it? I would expect it, given that you are at the ocean...

Deathworks

Last time i read the wiki, it said wells automatically purified any water pumped through it. I thought that hadn't changed. If it did, then my fortress has no chance.

EDIT: Just checked the wiki, and it appears you are right. I'm surprised this hasn't caused any problems yet.
I suppose some of them still got a little amout of alcohol in their rooms hidden. I recently found one of my dwarfs (a noble of course) who had stuck some 20 units in his own room it wasn't a stockpile just in containers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deathworks on June 12, 2010, 03:19:52 pm
Hi!

Quote from: Internet Kraken on June 12, 2010, 11:26:19 am
Last time i read the wiki, it said wells automatically purified any water pumped through it. I thought that hadn't changed. If it did, then my fortress has no chance.

EDIT: Just checked the wiki, and it appears you are right. I'm surprised this hasn't caused any problems yet.

So, salt water in the well? I hadn't checked the wiki and I always stayed clear of salt water, but I remember that people mentioned that desalination require smoothed/artificial walls and I think there was a grave danger of even a single natural tile would contaminate the water - but these are just things I remember from the top of my head, so they may be off.

So, I guess we should never underestimate the dangerous features :) :) :)

Deathworks
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lanceleoghauni on June 12, 2010, 03:50:40 pm
Realizing that Art defacement is a serious problem.

need to make it so legendaries aren't making my to-be-melted cages.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ILikePie on June 13, 2010, 01:15:54 pm
I had a huge food industry going in the early game, I had so much food I made millions through trade and still had enough to feed my fort (Only about 20 dwarves) thrice. I traded off tons of food one season, and those hungry bastards back at the capital started to catch on to what was going on around them. "These guys at Bakedbread have tons of food huh" "Yeah lets bring some friends over and eat like kings" "I hear they have an awesome dining hall too!". Next year I get about 40 migrants in two-ish waves. Those morons ate my fort away and starved to death, and I had no idea that more migrants would come, nor did I plan for them. My legendary kitchen ended up as a (final) resting place for angry, starving, bedroom-less dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dungeon on June 13, 2010, 02:26:48 pm
My prison, in the fortress in the Land of Sorrows. Its a combination prison. Microcline, Granite, Mica. Dug out that way, its a very rich area. The prison is nearly complete. I just need to finish the last 3 rooms in terms of chains and doors. 11 rooms need beds and stocked personal stockpiles of food. And some statues and engravings.

But otherwise, should someone break the law. My prison is up and running...

So, I'm trying to get things finished with Microcline doors, and all that nice anti-tantrum stuff, when I find all these Dwarves hanging out in my prison. I'm like "Whut?". Then I read some of their thoughts. They're admiring the chain's. Which are silver. Okay, cool. I had a skilled Dwarf make them, so, bound to happen. Back to work. Suddenly "The Glassmaker Mosus Cerolfikod has organized a party at Silver Chain".

They are throwing a party, in my prison. They're throwing a PARTY in the place that will be their holding pen when they BREAK THE LAW.  :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Karnewarrior on June 13, 2010, 02:53:40 pm
Quote from: Dungeon on June 13, 2010, 02:26:48 pm
My prison, in the fortress in the Land of Sorrows. Its a combination prison. Microcline, Granite, Mica. Dug out that way, its a very rich area. The prison is nearly complete. I just need to finish the last 3 rooms in terms of chains and doors. 11 rooms need beds and stocked personal stockpiles of food. And some statues and engravings.

But otherwise, should someone break the law. My prison is up and running...

So, I'm trying to get things finished with Microcline doors, and all that nice anti-tantrum stuff, when I find all these Dwarves hanging out in my prison. I'm like "Whut?". Then I read some of their thoughts. They're admiring the chain's. Which are silver. Okay, cool. I had a skilled Dwarf make them, so, bound to happen. Back to work. Suddenly "The Glassmaker Mosus Cerolfikod has organized a party at Silver Chain".

They are throwing a party, in my prison. They're throwing a PARTY in the place that will be their holding pen when they BREAK THE LAW.  :o
I now present to you: The Dwarven Prison Song, by Urist McConvict
 
~"I stole a roast.
And now I'm toast,
But it don't matter
'Cause I'm the most-
Pimpin'-Convict ever-to-share-a-chain
With a goat."
*Hormonica solo*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dungeon on June 13, 2010, 03:08:44 pm
Not even the Sheriff of Rottenham could bring em down in this case I suppose.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jordrake on June 13, 2010, 06:04:34 pm
Quote from: Karnewarrior on June 13, 2010, 02:53:40 pm
~"I stole a roast.
And now I'm toast,
But it don't matter
'Cause I'm the most-
Pimpin'-Convict ever-to-share-a-chain
With a goat."
*Hormonica solo*
Do I have your permission to use this elsewhere? It's quite awesome. I'll credit you, if you so wish.

In my current fort, a miner went berserk because we had no spare body parts lying around. Fortuitously, an elven caravan was just leaving so he chased/slaughtered them instead, but not before killing at least four of my citizens. As he is rampaging through my fort, the closest thing to a warrior in the place and one of only 4 or 5 dwarves with a weapon, I see one of my stoneworkers asleep in his room. I decide to forbid the door so he doesn't awake and come out to have a meal and find his liver at the wrong end of a pickaxe. I could rest safe in the knowledge that if the berserker killed every other dwarf in the fort, one would survive.
Flash forward a month or two. I'm constructing a chimney to deal with the miasma from my refuse stockpile when up flashes a message saying some dude died of thirst. My farming business was booming and I was fairly certain booze stocks were adequate, but I ordered a few more barrels anyway to be on the safe side. I set up another coffin for burial and went back to my chimney building. After giving the graveyard another look and decided my fortress needed a statue garden. I gave the fortress a sweep for locations to put it and, to my dismay, found my stoneworker against the door of his room, dead from thirst. I un-forbade his door and a metalsmith promptly carried him to his coffin, which I am thinking of encircling with riches as a monument to my stupidity and a reminder that every dwarf must be taken care of.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Karnewarrior on June 13, 2010, 11:41:40 pm
Yeah, sure! That's not up to my usual par, but whatever. Go ahead. What are you going to use it for?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: style on June 14, 2010, 05:50:22 am
Just found out that stone fall traps are not what they used to be in 40d. 11 boulders right on his head, a broken skull and several broken limbs, and this goblin swordsman is still killing my dworfs. When the rest of his ambush stops chasing cats and enters the fortress, I am doomed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jordrake on June 14, 2010, 10:15:24 am
Quote from: Karnewarrior on June 13, 2010, 11:41:40 pm
Yeah, sure! That's not up to my usual par, but whatever. Go ahead. What are you going to use it for?
Various things. I'll definitely sig it on Deviantart.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eagle_eye on June 14, 2010, 11:13:03 am
watching an animal trainer follow someone halfway around the map instead of waiting for them to drop the caged horse off at the animal stockpile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Libelnon on June 14, 2010, 01:22:55 pm
I embarked on a pretty awesome looking map. In search of bronze (as I had pledged not to use steel) and bismuth, i had chosen a map rich in granite and limestone - things were shaping up quite well. There was one small problem, namely the huge 19 z-level waterfall that was slowing my fps right to a crawling 40 fps.

Of course, I haven't learned the lesson that water is deadly just yet.

I decide to stop the river by damming it where the waterfall began, and building my fort by carving it into the base. The plan was to dig a stairway down next to the river, and a walkway across, then dam the river with a wall.

     'Dig here,' I told the miner. She looked at me with a knowing glance, and heaved the weight of her pickaxe onto her back. She hit the ground with rapid strokes, chipping away large chunks of limestone with ease. Surely enough, the stairway formed before my eyes in mere moments, an almost awe inspiring feat.
     'Deep enough?' she called, up from the little pit she had dug herself at the side. I stared out across the waterfall, noticing a slight error in my judgement of where the stairwell should have been placed.
     'Deep enough!?' she repeated, jolting me awake from my daydreaming. I called out to her in response.
      'Aye, deep enough.'
     There was a sigh of relief. 'Can I get back to my mining now?'
     'Not yet. I need that tunnel widened slightly - could you tunnel this section slightly towards the south?'
     She gave me a look. 'Sure... why?'
     'I just misjudged the position a bit, that's all.'
     There was a strained grunt as the pickaxe was hauled back into the miner's huge arms. It was swung rapidly, tapping out a rhythmic pattern against the limestone wall beneath. Almost hypnotising.
     I stood, watching the water of the brook trickle off the cliff. In a few minutes, the entire stream downriver would be robbed of water. Combined with the hypnotic tapping of the miner's pick, I suppose I phased out.

     I was awoken by screaming.
     In a flash, I saw the hulking body of the miner wrenched from beneath me in a twisted gait, slamming her upper body into the sharp limestone crevasse that overhung the cascading water. I leapt forward, arms outstretched, but to no avail.
     Helplessly, I watched the body tumble into the abyss. I stood, mortified, until the echoing scream had died away, leaving the silence of the mountain to embrace me.
     Hurriedly, I dashed down the cliff edge, in search of the body. There had been no 'crunch', no sound of any impact with the ground, merely the resonating scream that had torn apart my eardrums, and scattered the goats who had been grazing nearby.
     I got no further than the entryway to the gorge. Here, the waters of the brook trickled through, once a pure, crystal spring that reflected the morning sunlight.
     Now, the crystal water was contaminated with a red stream that flowed through it, twisting this way and that, like blood red tendrils. Something lay in the current, not too far away, disturbing the flow.
     Entirely out of curiosity, I picked it up to examine it closer. It was heavy, and wooden - it felt quite stiff, though, and felt as if it hadn't been long. I hauled it up to get a closer look.
     It was the pickaxe.
     Dangling from the handle, was the late miner's hand, torn off at the wrist.
     I hadn't even gotten her name.


I facepalmed with such ferocity from that one I gave myself a headache.
Stands to reason I abandoned the fort on reflex.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Internet Kraken on June 14, 2010, 07:17:54 pm
My entire fortress is gone. The whole thing fell into the fucking ocean.

(http://img820.imageshack.us/img820/9499/ohthehumanity.png)

I was trying to make my entrance a bit nicer, and was wondering if mist could rise up through floor grates. So I removed one of the tiles connecting my fort to the mainland and replaced it with a grate. I then repeated this process for the other two tiles, assuming the grates still acted as connectors. Well, they don't. The whole fortress instantly plummeted into the murky deep when I removed the last floor tile. All of the food, weapons, and items were in the fort as well. Yet not a single dwarf died from this. Through some miracle, they all were down in the caverns or in the workshops when the fort broke. Still, I obviously abandoned. I still find it hard to believe that I managed to do this. I can only imagine what it's like for the dwarves emerging from the mine, seeing the remains of their beloved home sinking to the bottom of the ocean.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gyvon on June 15, 2010, 12:45:47 am
Dug a deep well shaft to the first cavern layer, only to have my miner miss the landing pad I made for him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eidako on June 15, 2010, 01:38:39 am
That's...wow. I've lost my share of dwarves to the grates-and-bridges-pretend-to-be-supports bug, but the entire fort?

Now historians will write of a city which vanished from the face of the planet in a single night. It will become a legendary place with technology eclipsing the state-of-the-art and unimaginable vaults of treasure. And when someone claims that this city really did exist, and sank not from the wrath of the gods, but because of a line of floor grates, people will look at him funny.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on June 15, 2010, 06:26:57 am
Knowing her fate, SlapTunnels sent out wagons to all corners of the world. On board were the Seven: the Miner, the physician, the farmer, the mechanic, the mason, and all the other Legendary Dwarfs of Legend...

...Way doooooown below the ocean, where I wanna be, she may be...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ElChad on June 15, 2010, 07:53:54 am
First game of DF2010 I played. I dug straight down to get to see the magma seas and ended up making some new friends. Needless to say, my dwarves were all 'boned'. First and last time I blindly dig without a prepared defence.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deathworks on June 15, 2010, 08:00:32 am
Hi!

Quote from: Internet Kraken on June 14, 2010, 07:17:54 pm
I still find it hard to believe that I managed to do this. I can only imagine what it's like for the dwarves emerging from the mine, seeing the remains of their beloved home sinking to the bottom of the ocean.

:) :) :)

Hauler 1: Hmmpf, now just to place this in the stock ... Hey? Where did our fortress go?
Hauler 2: Huh!? You are right! Where is it?
Hauler 1: Hey! McDigger! Do you know where our home went?
McDigger: Ah, mmmhhhh, ... no? I don't think I know what happened. I think I gotta go.

Deathworks
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EBannion on June 15, 2010, 12:27:40 pm
I just had one. I like to embark on 'interesting' locations - high savagery, high evil, and at least 3 biomes for diversity - and until now, hadn't ended up somewhere with no water on the map. To make it better, this map -also- had very, very few trees, all of which had been made into beds before I noticed the lack of water.

I noticed the lack of water when I got the first 'Urist McDwarf dies of thirst...'

In a panic, I make sure the brewer and the carpenter and the woodcutter are still alive, and I devote all my resources to making just one barrel from the last log I have, and then trying to get someone to make some booze out of the berries in my food pile. I had to redesignate a new carpenter once and a new brewer three times, due to the current one dying of thirst while working, but in the end I managed to get a barrel of Strawberry Wine produced in time to save the last three dwarves, who all died to skeletal eagles about a month later.

Whoops.

Damn skeletal eagles, swooped in and grabbed the first dwarf by his head, shook him a little, and the head came off. Ouch.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Diablous on June 15, 2010, 04:33:23 pm
I have recently embarked on a glacier. I remembered not to bring an axe to cut trees, since there won't be any, since I'm not planning to hit the caverns very soon. Thing is, I forgot to bring wood to make beds with. Crap.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkwolf on June 15, 2010, 08:42:30 pm
Logged in not only because the forums are cool, but also to share my first major facepalm moment.

Randomly genned a world, and it had rather a *lot* of water... so much so, that there were maybe 5 places without aquifers. Being a pussy, I said to myself "Okay, let's find somewhere without an aquifer..."

A little bit later... "Hrm, perfect! Now, what's the biomes... huh? evil? naaaah, can't be that bad."

I'd just started excavating my workshop area when skeletal mountain goats started slaughtering my band of dorfs.

*facedesk*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lanceleoghauni on June 15, 2010, 09:08:54 pm
So does that mean you've just made Dwarven Atlantis?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: scira on June 15, 2010, 10:19:22 pm
40d, two face palms for the same fort, things are going pretty good, I finished the Great Wall of Deforestation and finally got around to carving out rooms so my 79 dorfs don't have to share 12 beds in the barracks, and Urist Mccarpenter cancels make bed, needs wood logs. facepalm #1 while wood trickles back in as trees regrow.

The second was that with the walls made and bridges raised I let my adamant axe wielding steel clad 'hero' go off duty to go fart around in the barracks, i figured since he was a 1 man squad he would just chillax till i told him to do something. A bit of not paying attention later and i get a "soandso fortress guard has been struck down" thats when I notice that 9 legendary wrestlers are in bed with yellow or red injuries.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Medicine Man on June 15, 2010, 11:51:11 pm
The time i tried to get my miner to mine away this annoying stone blocking my megaproject,little did i know that that large stone was supporting heavier weight,suddenly CRASH!*urist mcminer has been struck down* without a miner i was f***ed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Labhras on June 16, 2010, 12:35:46 am
Get the first mood of my fortress today. Takes one log...and makes a crossbow. I now have an artifact crossbow and a legendary bowdwarf in a version where pewpewdwarves are bugged. D:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Expurgate on June 16, 2010, 03:37:04 am
This happened probably thirty seconds ago.

I decide to hook up a couple tunnels to a nearby murky pool for irrigating my underground farm.  Grates and floodgates, the whole shebang, making sure everything works fine.  I attach the lever to the floodgates and decide to just go for it.  I pop the lever and am immediately perplexed as only one 'gate opens.  While the rooms slowly fill with water, I go poking around the fortress to figure out what's wrong...

And almost immediately notice the open access tunnel to the gorilla pit.  Apparently it has the exact same type of floodgate.  The gorillas are greatly enjoying their vacation and happily beating the f*ck out of Urist McFishCleaner, who dies a sad death before they can be recaged.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Taco Dan on June 16, 2010, 06:04:28 am
Because no fortress is complete without a gorilla pit...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Burnt Pies on June 16, 2010, 06:29:18 am
A Cheese Maker gets a possession, grabs some wood, adamantine, raw aluminium, rough amazonites and a native gold block I'd bought off traders a while ago. Problem is, while he's out grabbing his native gold block, I get a dark elf ambush. because dwarves are simply awful at listening to anything, no one stays inside after the stay inside order, instead running out to grab some orcinite (Like goblinite, but steel), put away a corpse, or watch as their friends are ripped apart by evil elves. Just as my military makes it outside, the ambush party notices my cheese maker hauling his block back to his workshop, and promptly rip him apart as my military run towards them in a vain attempt to rescue him.

I then discover my spearmaster's an utter sissy, who runs away from the dark elf guard leading the squad, as my two swordsmasters and Mace wielding champion rip apart the rest of them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: flatlander on June 16, 2010, 12:40:40 pm
I just embarked in the middle of a scorching hot desert clime and there is an oasis in the middle of it. It has two pools separated by about 15 tiles so I thought lets build a cistern on one side with a well and a garden on the other. Everything goes fine with the garden. I channeled out and shunted the cistern to a red clay room two z levels below the original lake. Installed flood gates.... and finished off my well successfully.

In comes a wave of migrants and one of them is a very good fisherdwarf.  I then thought... great a fisherdwarf in the desert. Immediately followed by... hey why not try to set that cistern up for fishing. I then started cutting out a pattern to install grates on the floor around the well when ....WHAM... the well a miner, and a dwarf who was grabbing water dropped into the cistern.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AtomicPaperclip on June 16, 2010, 08:18:58 pm
"Hey how did my woodworker get legendary observer 5 seconds after disembark?"
Wiki: The Observer skill determines how good someone is at spotting stealthed units.
*{u}*
):
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chronas on June 17, 2010, 01:55:48 am
Quote from: AtomicPaperclip on June 16, 2010, 08:18:58 pm
"Hey how did my woodworker get legendary observer 5 seconds after disembark?"
Wiki: The Observer skill determines how good someone is at spotting stealthed units.
*{u}*
):
and what did he see?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on June 17, 2010, 01:59:04 am
Managed to embark on a map full of skeletal elk. Skeletal elk that proceeded to tear my dorfs to shreds before I had any defenses whatsoever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mangled on June 17, 2010, 04:19:43 am
Quote from: Chronas on June 17, 2010, 01:55:48 am
Quote from: AtomicPaperclip on June 16, 2010, 08:18:58 pm
"Hey how did my woodworker get legendary observer 5 seconds after disembark?"
Wiki: The Observer skill determines how good someone is at spotting stealthed units.
*{u}*
):
and what did he see?
Ninjas.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: granzteel on June 17, 2010, 05:45:34 am
I embarked on glaziers. After mining for rooms and creating grates, the skeletal bears noticed my dwarves and started chasing them on the surface. I ordered all my dwarves inside the cave, but forgot to put the items inside. it's too late. my dwarves on the surface are killed and all over the main entrance.

I did not lose hope. I ordered the dwarves to mine an alternate entrance and sneak on the wagon to get all the resources. I used my marksdwarf to distract the skels, but didn't buy enough time for my dwarves to get inside.

the last dwarf had a tantrum and went raging on the undead bears, only to get killed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kidiri on June 17, 2010, 07:57:44 am
Quote from: Mangled on June 17, 2010, 04:19:43 am
Quote from: Chronas on June 17, 2010, 01:55:48 am
Quote from: AtomicPaperclip on June 16, 2010, 08:18:58 pm
"Hey how did my woodworker get legendary observer 5 seconds after disembark?"
Wiki: The Observer skill determines how good someone is at spotting stealthed units.
*{u}*
):
and what did he see?
Ninjas.
Then why is he still alive?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ultimuh on June 17, 2010, 08:00:59 am
Quote from: Kidiri on June 17, 2010, 07:57:44 am
Quote from: Mangled on June 17, 2010, 04:19:43 am
Quote from: Chronas on June 17, 2010, 01:55:48 am
Quote from: AtomicPaperclip on June 16, 2010, 08:18:58 pm
"Hey how did my woodworker get legendary observer 5 seconds after disembark?"
Wiki: The Observer skill determines how good someone is at spotting stealthed units.
*{u}*
):
and what did he see?
Ninjas.
Then why is he still alive?

Because his father is Chuck Norris.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Knick on June 17, 2010, 09:24:55 am
Second summer after embark.  I have no metal so far.  My immigrant furnace operator is possessed, claims a crafts shop, and is demanding metal bars.  It is a race between the arrival of the human caravan and his sanity.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on June 17, 2010, 10:12:15 am
@Knick, I just did that with sand. My poor, insane glassmaker.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Captain Hammer on June 17, 2010, 02:21:07 pm
I've been going through this thread for awhile, just read the part about digging multiple z lvl's easier. After designating my 40 z lvl underground magma pump stack.  >:(
/facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BrutalNoodle on June 17, 2010, 06:00:34 pm
Hey there everyone,
been lurking for about a month now after finding out about dwarf fortress. Thought I would share some of the silly things that my engraver has been doing.

One of the first engravings my legendary engraver did,
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

He has been consistently producing images of geometric shapes in my dining hall for nearly half a season. =/

EDIT: He also drew a circle and "two waves" all masterfully done, yet my fortress is nowhere near and ocean. I would like to believe that it is simply some squiggles ~ ~
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on June 17, 2010, 06:11:45 pm
Quote from: BrutalNoodle on June 17, 2010, 06:00:34 pm
Hey there everyone,
been lurking for about a month now after finding out about dwarf fortress. Thought I would share some of the silly things that my engraver has been doing.

One of the first engravings my legendary engraver did,
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

He has been consistently producing images of geometric shapes in my dining hall for nearly half a season. =/

It's a masterful square though...At least it's not a rectangle. :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cardinal on June 17, 2010, 07:22:18 pm
Quote from: FuzzyDoom on June 17, 2010, 06:11:45 pm
It's a masterful square though...At least it's not a rectangle. :P

Actually, it is.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on June 17, 2010, 07:27:38 pm
Quote from: Cardinal on June 17, 2010, 07:22:18 pm
Quote from: FuzzyDoom on June 17, 2010, 06:11:45 pm
It's a masterful square though...At least it's not a rectangle. :P

Actually, it is.

Then it's not masterful...or a square...HE'S A LIAR!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DDR on June 17, 2010, 07:43:23 pm
I was cooking dinner, and I wanted to wipe some garlic off a knife I was holding. My hands were dirty, so I looked around for something to scrape it off with. "Ah," I thinks, "I had a knife around here a moment ago... I'll just use that one. ... ... ... Hey, anyone seen what I did with that knife I was just holding?" Pass 15 seconds of intense searching. "Uh, found it, the knife was still in my hand."

I didn't actually facepalm, as I was holding a knife.
Dinner turned out great, though.

Oh, what? It has to be about DF? Suck it up, buttercup. :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SpacemanSpiff on June 17, 2010, 07:44:19 pm
Quote from: FuzzyDoom on June 17, 2010, 07:27:38 pm
Then it's not masterful...or a square...HE'S A LIAR!

Clearly he's a legendary liar as well as a legendary engraver.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Meanmelter on June 17, 2010, 08:47:34 pm
(http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/727/failtrain.png)
The Dabbling one is way more Intriguing isn't it?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on June 17, 2010, 09:17:33 pm
Quote from: Meanmelter on June 17, 2010, 08:47:34 pm
(http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/727/failtrain.png)
The Dabbling one is way more Intriguing isn't it?

That looks kinda like China for some reason...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkflagrance on June 17, 2010, 09:50:28 pm
Quote from: Chronas on June 17, 2010, 01:55:48 am
Quote from: AtomicPaperclip on June 16, 2010, 08:18:58 pm
"Hey how did my woodworker get legendary observer 5 seconds after disembark?"
Wiki: The Observer skill determines how good someone is at spotting stealthed units.
*{u}*
):
and what did he see?
Perhaps, for a brief moment, he stared into R'lyeh. But kept his sanity.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cardinal on June 17, 2010, 09:59:39 pm
Quote from: FuzzyDoom on June 17, 2010, 07:27:38 pm
Quote from: Cardinal on June 17, 2010, 07:22:18 pm
Quote from: FuzzyDoom on June 17, 2010, 06:11:45 pm
It's a masterful square though...At least it's not a rectangle. :P

Actually, it is.

Then it's not masterful...or a square...HE'S A LIAR!

I hate to be the one to break this to you, it's kind of like learning the truth about Santa Claus, but all squares are rectangles and some rectangles are squares.  So any square is, ipso facto, also a rectangle.

Maybe that's why it's a masterpiece...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Internet Kraken on June 17, 2010, 10:48:05 pm
(http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/9021/suicidep.png)

 :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Meanmelter on June 17, 2010, 10:57:05 pm
Quote from: Internet Kraken on June 17, 2010, 10:48:05 pm
(http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/9021/suicidep.png)

 :'(
Could have been worse, you COULD have been elected mayor and been a total dick
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Karnewarrior on June 17, 2010, 11:45:30 pm
Quote from: Internet Kraken on June 17, 2010, 10:48:05 pm
(http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/9021/suicidep.png)

 :'(
Cheer up, that's a dwarfy way to go!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on June 17, 2010, 11:51:33 pm
Remember, the theory is that things crushed by DF drawbridges have a chance of ending up in our world thanks to their physics and dimensional bending properties.

Who knows, he may have popped into our world next to the best beer brewery on the planet!

Of course it is significantly more likely that he popped into existence inside solid rock underground.  And more likely yet to have popped into our universe in the middle of deep space.  But ya know, there's that tiny insignificant chance he's a happy dwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on June 18, 2010, 01:34:52 am
Don't feel bad, Internet Kraken. Not too long ago I killed my dorfy representation of myself with a river and the fact that I had forgotten to link my floodgate and lever together.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JmzLost on June 18, 2010, 01:22:19 pm
My first embark in 31.01 was beautiful.  4x4, red sand and limestone on the surface, all 3 iron ores visible on embark, 2 veins of bit.coal on the surface, 5 more as I dug out the early rooms under the wagon.  The facepalm?  I had used my embark strategy from 40d.  I had no anvil.  Just to rub salt in the wound, my first mood was a fey armorsmith.  By the time the caravan showed up, he was already insane.

My latest fort was on an ocean volcano.  8 z-levels of floors over the magma pipe, with walls around the open side.  I decided to adjust the position of walls on level 8, while building floor 9.  "a section of the cavern has collapsed!!"  Don't remove the only supporting wall while constructing a floor 8 z-levels above most of your fort.  On the plus side, the dwarf who fell in discovered the magma sea, 185 z-levels below where she was working.

JMZ
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: granzteel on June 18, 2010, 06:10:57 pm
I prepared carefully before embarking. 7dwarves: 2 miners; 2 farmers; and 3 adequate glassmakers. I spent point on bags for collecting sand.

Then, I embarked. create room holes, 10x10 rooms and glass furnaces. After cutting trees for some 200 logs with my farmers, I ordered the glassmakers to collect sand.

When I'm about to place a zone for collecting, I asked myself:

"Oh, wait, there's no sand in here..."

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: warwizard on June 18, 2010, 09:42:40 pm
Quote from: granzteel on June 18, 2010, 06:10:57 pm
I prepared carefully before embarking. 7dwarves: 2 miners; 2 farmers; and 3 adequate glassmakers. I spent point on bags for collecting sand.

Then, I embarked. create room holes, 10x10 rooms and glass furnaces. After cutting trees for some 200 logs with my farmers, I ordered the glassmakers to collect sand.

When I'm about to place a zone for collecting, I asked myself:

"Oh, wait, there's no sand in here..."

*facepalm*

bags for collecting sand 10 points each, bags full of sand, 1 point each, another <facepalm>.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bronze Dog on June 18, 2010, 10:01:44 pm
Quote from: warwizard on June 18, 2010, 09:42:40 pm
Quote from: granzteel on June 18, 2010, 06:10:57 pm
I prepared carefully before embarking. 7dwarves: 2 miners; 2 farmers; and 3 adequate glassmakers. I spent point on bags for collecting sand.

Then, I embarked. create room holes, 10x10 rooms and glass furnaces. After cutting trees for some 200 logs with my farmers, I ordered the glassmakers to collect sand.

When I'm about to place a zone for collecting, I asked myself:

"Oh, wait, there's no sand in here..."

*facepalm*

bags for collecting sand 10 points each, bags full of sand, 1 point each, another <facepalm>.

: Priceless.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on June 19, 2010, 02:51:35 am
For everything else, there's magmacard!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: warwizard on June 19, 2010, 08:50:42 am
It's not a total fail he can trade for bags full of sand from the caravans for 11 dwarf bucks each.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on June 19, 2010, 10:36:59 am
Quote from: warwizard on June 19, 2010, 08:50:42 am
It's not a total fail he can trade for bags full of sand from the caravans for 11 dwarf bucks each.

That's only the cave spider silk bags. Pig tail ones are 21. Does anybody know how to increase the chances of getting the silk bags?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Heavenfall on June 19, 2010, 02:56:51 pm
My facepalm-of-the-day was when a colossus showed up. I had prepared well with lines of cage-traps - no problem right? Wrong. The colossus decided destroying everything in my kill-zone first would be more fun - including 15x115 of 7/7 water behind some floodgates. The colossus eventually got trapped, but not before all that water killed everything on the bottom floor, which happened to be a very small dormitory/hospital.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: fanatic on June 20, 2010, 04:55:34 am
Not really a fort-killing facepalm. but I think i just embarked(40d) with a VERY unethical Dwarf civ... No modding involved...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
(http://pics.imagup.com/ano1/1277075264.JPG) (http://www.imagup.com/pics/1277075264.html)

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: leftycook on June 20, 2010, 08:15:46 am
Heard crossbows and archery was bugged/OP, so I never utilized it, and just ambushed enemy archer squads.
So I was building my giant ice fortress, flooring the second level, when a kobold archery unit shows up. no ones on their side of the wall, no problem right?
Found out projectiles can travel on the Z axis.
who needed those twenty masons anyway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Medicine Man on June 20, 2010, 08:30:50 am
The time i embarked but forgot surplies and my first enemy was about 7 giant eagles.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vester on June 20, 2010, 08:33:57 am
Quote from: leftycook on June 20, 2010, 08:15:46 am
Heard crossbows and archery was bugged/OP, so I never utilized it, and just ambushed enemy archer squads.
So I was building my giant ice fortress, flooring the second level, when a kobold archery unit shows up. no ones on their side of the wall, no problem right?
Found out projectiles can travel on the Z axis.
who needed those twenty masons anyway.

I remember the first time that happened to me.

I had a bunch of miners digging out a pit just below the surface, working under a channel.

Next thing I know, half my miners are dead, and the other half have crossbow bolts in their faces. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rat Of Wisdom on June 20, 2010, 02:39:17 pm
Oh god this is what happens when you swear off DF for the greater part of the academic year because you have essays and shit to write but you're depressed and vulnerable to timesinks and it is just being hell of enticing with its little smiley faces carrying various parts of goblins to garbage stockpiles and shit.

What happens, you ask?

You forget about little details. The little idiosyncrasies that make DF DF and not RL. Like the fact that bridges do not, in fact, support constructions.

Designated a huge stretch of wall between various free-standing parts of my railgun (I am still building that bad boy and I am doing it in 40d because hell if I'm going to do all that work again) after being very proud of the nice scaffolds I constructed. First section is completed and promptly plummets to the ground, which is several z-levels below; not such a problem except for the fact that it also creates a huge dust cloud which knocks several of my electricians unconscious. Unconscious is a bad thing for a dwarf to be when they are standing on a narrow scaffold many z-levels up.

Urist McElectrician has died from colliding with an obstacle.
Urist McOtherElectrician has died from colliding with an obstacle.

These were just the two bastards that got supremely unlucky and missed the upper levels of the generator housings, plummeting all the way down to smack into the top of the waterworks. The other five (including my legendary miner from the starting seven) had probably enough complete and working parts between them, after their fall, to make about three complete dwarves. (I am sorry, Mr. Pratchett, but that is just how it was.)

*facepalm*

So yeah, I exercised my powers as an incarnation of Armok; the ones that survived are back to full health. There was no need for that. Plus the potential destruction inherent in the railgun way outweighs the certain destruction suffered by the dorfs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Netkev on June 20, 2010, 03:11:24 pm
Apparently, having women in the army wasn't a very good plan, this was made obvious when a soldier attacked a steroid abusing raccoon and gave birth at the same time, i would go into details, but i think these pictures speak for themselves.

(http://img192.imageshack.us/img192/3212/dwarfort201006202154059.png)
(http://img717.imageshack.us/img717/923/dwarfort201006202149514.png)
(http://img63.imageshack.us/img63/3310/dwarfort201006202150085.png)
(http://img706.imageshack.us/img706/5332/dwarfort201006202150565.png)
(http://img819.imageshack.us/img819/2844/dwarfort201006202208110.png)

What i think happened:
She attacked the raccoon, the baby's head was torn clean off and she instantly gave birth to compensate having lost a child.

If anyone has a better theory, i would love to hear it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SpacemanSpiff on June 20, 2010, 03:51:00 pm
Just started my first embark in 30.08.  I figured I'd speed up the process of offloading the wagon by digging out a tiny room underground, designating it as a garbage dump, quantum-dumping everything into it, and then sorting it into stockpiles at my leisure. 

My dwarves get to work, happily throwing things off the wagon and into the garbage dump.  "Oh, that's interesting, they take the meat out of the barrels and dump it separately".  I fail to put two and two together. 

My dwarves finish their work.  "Right, time to get the kitchen set up, and I'll use the kitchen menu to make sure they don't cook the booze... oh, that's interesting, it's not showing my available booze like it normally does... wait... WHERE'S THE BOOZE."

Yup, 84 units of booze dumped onto the ground, and now my dwarves are running around screaming "But why is the rum gone?"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: OneRaven on June 20, 2010, 03:52:28 pm
Quote from: Netkev on June 20, 2010, 03:11:24 pm
Apparently, having women in the army wasn't a very good plan, this was made obvious when a soldier attacked a steroid abusing raccoon and gave birth at the same time

I'm so, so sorry....

(http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/4361/dfyeaaaaaaaaaaaahh.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Netkev on June 20, 2010, 04:03:59 pm
Not content with having one of my babies murdered, i sent my soldiers after the raccoon to kill it, they knocked it in the water and naturally decided to follow it. It worked out just as well as one would imagine.
(http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/8903/dwarfort201006202300231.png)
I think i am just going to have them train with weapons from now on, even if it doesn't level their dodge skill.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Internet Kraken on June 20, 2010, 05:09:35 pm
Well now I feel stupid. Upon embark, I noticed a cliff wall that touched the ocean. I thought this was nice, since normally there's a shoreline between the ocean and the cliff wall. So I decided I would make this my fortress spot. I dug through the wall, exposing it to the ocean, in preparation for the construction of the fort. Then I remembered why I built my fortress entrances on top of cliffs rather than in them. Water immediately began flooding into the fortress. Now I have to abandon, or else my dwarves will drown.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Heavenfall on June 20, 2010, 06:29:59 pm
I built a channel to an outside water gatherer to keep getting some fresh water close to my center for my wells.
Well, at one point or another one of those wells got destroyed by someone dropping the bucket. This in turn had unveiled an old ramp up/down the water channel. No sane dwarf ever went there, of course.

But the 1x1 caravan did. I never saw another human caravan.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Keldor on June 21, 2010, 03:48:43 pm
Quote from: Heavenfall on June 20, 2010, 06:29:59 pm
I built a channel to an outside water gatherer to keep getting some fresh water close to my center for my wells.
Well, at one point or another one of those wells got destroyed by someone dropping the bucket. This in turn had unveiled an old ramp up/down the water channel. No sane dwarf ever went there, of course.

But the 1x1 caravan did. I never saw another human caravan.

"Are you sure this is the right entrance?  It looks kinda flooded..."

"Yeah, maybe this is the sewer instead?"

"Nonsense!  If it were a sewer, it wouldn't be full of fresh water, now would it?  No doubt the water keeps the rats out.  Onward, to profitable trading!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lanceleoghauni on June 21, 2010, 04:19:51 pm
Maneating Fortress, I like it. I'll take 3
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Frog on June 22, 2010, 01:44:12 am
Quote from: Heavenfall on June 20, 2010, 06:29:59 pm
I built a channel to an outside water gatherer to keep getting some fresh water close to my center for my wells.
Well, at one point or another one of those wells got destroyed by someone dropping the bucket. This in turn had unveiled an old ramp up/down the water channel. No sane dwarf ever went there, of course.

But the 1x1 caravan did. I never saw another human caravan.
???:"Dude, this is stupid. There's a perfectly good entrance over there!"
:D: "I'm telling you, it's a shortcut!"
???: "But we'll get wet! And it smells like mildew. Let's just use the door."
:D: "It's quicker this way! We'll shave a good 2 feet off of our total distance traveled! Can you argue with that? ...CAN YOU!?
???: "Meh, I guess not... Huh. I seem to be drowning."
:D: "It'll pass. Just keep going."
Do you want your possessions identified? <y/n>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: granzteel on June 22, 2010, 05:27:23 am
 >:( - gobbie
 8) - dorf urist mcfisherdwarf
 ??? - dorf urist mcfishcleaner
 :-\ - human diplomat

 >:( : hey, that's the fort. To arms!

gobbies on the entrance...

 >:( : hey you stupid dwarf! give yourself up so you'll have a quick death!
 8) : Over that flood water, gobbies! haha.
 >:( : why you.. get him!
 ??? : we're surely dead!
 8) : don't worry, just watch.

the siege captain gobbie is still alive, comrades drowned..

>:( : b-but.. this is impossible!
8) : (laughing) see? you're no fish. you can't swim!
>:( : but why did the humie got there? He must've swimmed..
:-\ : (old and weary) I didn't.. I'm stuck 'ere fo' years!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on June 22, 2010, 10:47:50 am
Loading a save and forgetting one of your best military is in a mood.  One of my best military outfitted in full adamantine with a masterpeice adamantine greatsword. 

Who happened to decide to go berserk in the middle of the deep metalworking sector of the fortress.  I went from having 15 metalworkers of various types to 4 by the time the military got there.

Oops.  At least I learned that even adamantine has a hard time penetrating adamantine.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zauren on June 22, 2010, 01:11:27 pm
Rather then make my farm one Z-level below, I decided on the ridiculously obtuse method of mining to a water source, building a channel, then pumping it out. This was purely for aesthetics, of course. I did this early in my fortress, when both dwarves and stone was a rarity, as my miner started out with zero skill and everything to prove.

The water source in question was a murky pool, which I gathered was just enough to make my tiny plot; this was not my main fortress, but a temporary one until I could mine out a deep, permanent location. Things proceed fine, and finally I put a floor over the downstairs to the water besides the pump after the wall was removed. It was about 3 or 4 water deep down there, but I hoped it was enough.

I assemble the pump, and then turn on 'start manually pumping'. Nothing happens. How strange, thinks Zauren. I check the dwarf in question who actually was an accomplished pump operator immigrant. This was his time to shine. Turning it on and off randomly and rebuilding the pump, he still never came to use it. Annoyed, I pick an arbitrary second dwarf. He also never comes to pump. I begin to think there might be a bug somewhere, and ignore the pump for awhile.

A season later, I really need that farm, and wish I had just freaking made it a Z-level lower. Before I do massive reconstructing, I order a third random dwarf to operate the pump. A miracle, he immediately runs over and floods the area. I prepare the fields, move on.

Then I get a frightening message: Give food canceled: No food. My stocks are at zero! I butcher what livestock I have. It takes me a little bit to ponder. Wait, give food? Who was trying to give food to what and why? I have zero injured dwarves. Having only about 12 total, I zoom to each one by one.

...And in the water channel, beneath the staircase that had a floor built over it TWO SEASONS AGO, I find a pair of dwarves. The pump operator, and the dwarf I had tried to make a pump operator. They had each run down there to grab a piece of stone. They were chest-deep in murky water, and had awful thoughts about drinking bad water amongst other things.

It seems that for months and months, my dwarves have been throwing food down the open channel behind the water pump to feed them while they were trapped. Given I have no reason to look one Z-level down, I completely missed them. I had them released, and one of them years later is now the Mayor.

I am mostly surprised dwarves will throw food down a hole a Z level to another dwarf. I didn't know they did that. But if I hadn't momentarily run out of food, I would of likely found those dwarves after they went insane instead from lack of booze. Luckily, neither of them sued.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on June 22, 2010, 01:26:46 pm
What's that, Zauren? Timmy and his friend Billy both fell down the well? Ah, hell, we'll get there eventually. :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dungeon on June 22, 2010, 02:34:50 pm
My one engineer, a relatively unskilled one compared to the rest, was taken by a fey mood. Great!, I could get a legendary engineer out of this if all goes well.

Keyword if...Like the last few Dwarves in my fortress, they all want things I cant give them. In this case, its the middle of Winter, the waters are all frozen and he wants a SHELL. And I'm pretty sure I don't have enough cloth which he also wants.

And the moron wants shining bars of metal, which I have plenty of Silver bars, but I didn't see him go for. When I fire up the game next, I'm just gonna have to station my Champions next to him incase he goes berserk. Cause all my strange mood dwarves are going berserk when their moods don't get full-filled

Also, I hate my mayor. He's friends with everyone which means I cant kill him without dooming my fortress to infinite tantrum spirals, and good at his job. Except when he decides to slack off and eat and drink and sleep when a caravan is arriving. But the S.O.B keeps mandating the creation of gold items. I have yet to find gold, or Magma. And then he gets pissed and wants someone jailed for over 50 days, and then gets even more pissy when that wont get done. If I get more nobles then what I have. IE the Dungeon Master and the Philospher, I'm gonna make sure to put them straight into the atom smasher treatment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haspen on June 22, 2010, 02:40:42 pm
Quote from: Dungeon on June 22, 2010, 02:34:50 pm
IE the Dungeon Master and the Philospher, I'm gonna make sure to put them straight into the atom smasher treatment.

Why do you want to kill two most harmless (and actually one useful) noble? ???
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dungeon on June 22, 2010, 03:13:50 pm
Quote from: Haspen on June 22, 2010, 02:40:42 pm
Quote from: Dungeon on June 22, 2010, 02:34:50 pm
IE the Dungeon Master and the Philospher, I'm gonna make sure to put them straight into the atom smasher treatment.

Why do you want to kill two most harmless (and actually one useful) noble? ???

No no no dude, you misread, or I mistyped. I mean the OTHER nobles. I like my Dungeon Master and Philospher, for...whatever he does. He's at least quiet.

I'm just sick of the stupid demands my Mayor is putting out, and notice that if he's as bad as he is, the other less favorable nobles are gonna be waaaaay worse.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zauren on June 22, 2010, 03:18:42 pm
/My/ mayor has yet to make any mandates. Maybe it's since I outfit his rooms with solid GOLD, and he was humbled surviving being trapped for 6 months in stagnant water. He's been a mayor for ages, so it's a little odd.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haspen on June 22, 2010, 03:24:08 pm
Uh, nothing beats my old baron from 40d.

Crystal glass window in the bedroom.

Then, of course, Zinc mini-forges (3/3).

That was my first water-drown noble, by the way. Ah, good times...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dungeon on June 22, 2010, 03:25:22 pm
Quote from: Zauren on June 22, 2010, 03:18:42 pm
/My/ mayor has yet to make any mandates. Maybe it's since I outfit his rooms with solid GOLD, and he was humbled surviving being trapped for 6 months in stagnant water. He's been a mayor for ages, so it's a little odd.

Lucky, I've been on an epic quest for gold and magma. Found alot of ore's I can use, and gems, and more slate then I'll ever need. But, I think I need to dig alot deeper.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zauren on June 22, 2010, 03:27:06 pm
You need to dig past 3 caverns to find lava. On the plus side it usually comes with at least a bit of adamantium. I've got plenty of gold... I'll trade it for only 100,000 dwarf bucks a bar.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smigenboger on June 22, 2010, 03:36:07 pm
Last night I sat down with a large glass of straight vodka with ice, and got to work on my small fort that some day will be guarded by nothing but grizzly bears, and a small group of wrestlers so grizzly and hairy you couldn't tell them apart.

The humans came and I forgot to tell the gift shop to restock the souvenir earrings and coffee mugs, so I thought, 'well certainly my overstock of unicorns would fetch a great price!'

Terror ensued. Apparently you can only handle tame animals?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dungeon on June 22, 2010, 03:38:40 pm
Quote from: Zauren on June 22, 2010, 03:27:06 pm
You need to dig past 3 caverns to find lava. On the plus side it usually comes with at least a bit of adamantium. I've got plenty of gold... I'll trade it for only 100,000 dwarf bucks a bar.

Well, I'm either gonna fear or facepalm. But Caverns are in 40D right?, cause for the life of me the Wiki isn't confirming.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smigenboger on June 22, 2010, 03:41:57 pm
No caverns in 40d
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lanceleoghauni on June 22, 2010, 03:49:41 pm
Oh for the sake of armok *facepalm*

My anvil is a dozen or so Z levels above the waterlineFAR above my self imposed ceiling.

Should I wait until the river thaws and retrieve it? I do not get merchants anymore, and without it I fear even HonoredSalve will have problems. We will be forced to start metalworking soon...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dungeon on June 22, 2010, 03:51:37 pm
Quote from: smigenboger on June 22, 2010, 03:41:57 pm
No caverns in 40d

*Facepalm*

Then I better be damn lucky.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: person5 on June 22, 2010, 05:02:40 pm
I had a small fort (about 20 dwarves) that breached a cave.  Instead of walling it off, I put a string of cage traps in front of the entrance which caught a number of creatures, including a gcs.  I never even noticed until i checked the "u" screen, and noticed a gcs listed as caged. 
Anyway, i decided that it would be a good idea to sell the gcs to merchants, because i didn't have the facilities or the dwarfpower (and spare kittens) to make one.
I learned 3 things. 
After this triumph of dwarven science, i just got bored and abandoned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bronze Dog on June 22, 2010, 10:23:34 pm
Today: New fort. Almost immediately started smelting coal and iron bars to quickly get steel outfits for my future military. I finish 60 bars of iron and put in the order to turn 30 of them into pig iron.

Urist McSmelter cancels Make Pig Iron Bars: Needs stone.

<Check wiki>

...I don't have any flux.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untouchable on June 23, 2010, 02:56:06 am
Quote from: Bronze Dog on June 22, 2010, 10:23:34 pm
Today: New fort. Almost immediately started smelting coal and iron bars to quickly get steel outfits for my future military. I finish 60 bars of iron and put in the order to turn 30 of them into pig iron.

Urist McSmelter cancels Make Pig Iron Bars: Needs stone.

<Check wiki>

...I don't have any flux.

And that's why you always look for flux first.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Medicine Man on June 23, 2010, 03:13:28 am
I got a whole load of "Useless" migrants so i dropped them down my migrant disposal machine and they survived but were about to bleed out,i check their skills again and i notice i had turned off some things that view skills so i turned them on and FU#K!!!They were all highly skilled and had the skills i needed for my fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Captain Hammer on June 23, 2010, 11:46:53 am
Quote from: smigenboger on June 22, 2010, 03:36:07 pm
Last night I sat down with a large glass of straight vodka with ice, and got to work on my small fort that some day will be guarded by nothing but grizzly bears, and a small group of wrestlers so grizzly and hairy you couldn't tell them apart.

The humans came and I forgot to tell the gift shop to restock the souvenir earrings and coffee mugs, so I thought, 'well certainly my overstock of unicorns would fetch a great price!'

Terror ensued. Apparently you can only handle tame animals?
The above is awesome... jus' sayin'
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: person5 on June 23, 2010, 11:48:24 am
One of my fortresses was getting cluttered, and i had no idea why there was no rubbish in my rubbish stockpile.  I had put it on the other side of the river, and forgotten that only brooks can be crossed with no bridge. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Masennus on June 23, 2010, 01:52:43 pm
I had a dwarf early in the life of my fortress get an unresolvable mood due to the shell problem.

Facepalm 1: He happened to be the only dwarf currently assigned a weapon.

When he went berserk a brave dog distracted him while my other dwarves got to ground inside the fortress. I hadn't built many doors yet, but eventually the lunatic found his way into a room where I could seal him in.

The moment I clicked the door locked I got a message. One of my dwarves has given birth! Well, I thought, that will conveniently keep my population steady as the berserk dwarf dies of thirst. Where do I recognize that parent's name from?

Facepalm 2: Baby locked in with murderous mother.

She hammered the poor child with her crossbow until she died of dehydration. The child survived with red wounds on all his fingers and toes and three teeth missing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: abchiptop on June 23, 2010, 02:22:23 pm
i just learned that dry grass burns.

quickly.

lost two dwarves and 3 hunting dogs :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dungeon on June 23, 2010, 03:59:30 pm
So, 5th siege at Nitigrigoth in the lands of sorrow today. Bussiness as usual. Makes me sigh. I..don't even freak anymore.

I order my Dwarves inside, set my Champions in place, set my Marksdwarves on standby because I saw that there were 4 huge squads of Goblins mostly Bowyers, but included Axe-Goblins, and Wrestlers. But were lead by humans, one strangely titled "Guard".

So they were screwing around at first, until a few cats ran towards the one squad. Yes, some cats, pet cats, NAMED cats, RAN TOWARDS them. They decided it was cat killing time. Except the cats were faster then the arrows and the Goblins, I watched as Goblins chased the cats for 5 freaking minutes. The wrestlers eventually caught the one named cat. I think they squeezed it so hard that its eyes popped like confetti out of a party favor. The other got turned into a cat pincushion.

Another cat, he got killed by bleed out and the sucker managed to get back into my fortress before hand and die in such a way that during this whole fiasco he caused miasma.

But, onto the REAL fun..learning from the last siege, I had taken the hill that was infront of my Marksdwarves fortification, and turned it into an epic fortification to remove the enemies ability to use it for any form of advantage. Turned it into an epic tower/soon to be execution drop/MarksDwarf outpost. Bassicly, wall's, tower, castle. With a small entrance at the bottom leading into the kitchen of my fortress for easy access for my military.

I thought I cut off all access...I didn't, I missed a single ramp. And several of those axe goblins and that guard knew it. Well, actually, all of his squad knew it, but they were the only ones who were able to make it past my cage trap line ups.

I immediatly threw a squad of Champions at the Axe-Goblins, and they took out the trash. And their leader over exerted herself. To the point that when the Guard showed up, she would run from him. Course, her 5 buddies showed up, ganged up on him, and beat the hell out of him. Course, it was only a miracle that happened, all the other squads I assigned to back her up, left to go get booze instead. I won the siege after that human was killed. I think he was a Goblin leader, cause he dropped a royal crown and an awesome bow. And the nasty nature of the attack would account for it too.

As for that Champion, She sustained such injuries from fighting she couldn't move, and she was on ice that was gonna thaw soon. No one was coming to get her, yet they would do other stuff. I had to build a freaking floor tile under her to save her life from being drowned.

It took a good long while, but they finally moved her to a bed.

"You're a hero to our people, but, we're gonna leave you in a place you could die even when its safe to come get you"

Oy...

At least no one seems upset about the blasted cats.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bingbing on June 23, 2010, 09:56:29 pm
Completely forgetting how dangerous the underground could be, what with creatures not showing up until they were revealed.

Almost had the whole fortress massacred by a giant cave spider.

(It somehow missed all the dwarves in the underground food storage, took the incredibly long route to the main fortress, and got caught in a cage trap just before the staircase that I had considered removing earlier.)

And since it was invisible, I didn't see it until I saw the cage.

THANK ARMOK. (I am so going to tame it and use it to slaughter goblin hordes later.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derekristow on June 24, 2010, 03:39:39 am
Just started a new fortress on the map in this thread (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=60021.msg1351026#msg1351026).  Everything was going well, until both of my miners decided they were cats and hunted for small animals until they died of thirst.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SmileyMan on June 24, 2010, 05:31:35 am
I found a great embark location, with a cliff face overlooking a river valley.  The plan was to have the entrance to the fort via a massive viaduct into a sheer cliff face covered in arrow slits.  Nothing would make it across the bridge alive.

I painstakingly built the pylons and bridges for the viaduct, and started modelling the cliff to my specifications.

Except that I had managed to channel in the wrong place, straight through the roof of my entrance hall.  Yes, I could have rebuilt it all, but my heart just wasn't in it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Misterstone on June 24, 2010, 11:22:53 am
My fortress almost died today.  I have about 30 dwarves or so in a very modest community right now.  I suddenly notice that my dining hall area is full of dwarves with flashing red arrows; about 2/3rds of the dwarves in my fortress were upset!  Looking closely at their thoughts, I see that every one of them has the unhappy thought "Was forced to drink vomit recently".

So this fortress was still in the early stages, and often the dwarves were forced to go drink from the nice fishing hole I had incorporated from my fort.  My guess is that SOMEONE vomited in the drinking water area.  Stupid dwarves...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Daetrin on June 24, 2010, 02:04:11 pm
Quote from: Derekristow on June 24, 2010, 03:39:39 am
Just started a new fortress on the map in this thread (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=60021.msg1351026#msg1351026).  Everything was going well, until both of my miners decided they were cats and hunted for small animals until they died of thirst.

Glad to see someone else is using it :D

So far my only facepalm moment wity that map was generating that site with a history civ where dwarfs, elves, and goblins were extinct. And not noticing until my second year.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aleph on June 25, 2010, 02:06:17 am
"Why is wet stone such a big deal that my dwarves have to cancel mining if they find it?"
*mines out 2 or 3 tiles and the whole place is flooded*

To make things worse, goblins sieged the fort a few minutes after that and I had no defenses and no military. :\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lokii on June 25, 2010, 02:14:44 am
I just now realized what goblinite is.

Just now.

 Ugh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Diablous on June 25, 2010, 11:11:26 am
Quote from: Lokii on June 25, 2010, 02:14:44 am
I just now realized what goblinite is.

Just now.

 Ugh.

Well, at least you've been using it. Right?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haspen on June 25, 2010, 11:14:30 am
Quote from: Diablous on June 25, 2010, 11:11:26 am
Quote from: Lokii on June 25, 2010, 02:14:44 am
I just now realized what goblinite is.

Just now.

 Ugh.

Well, at least you've been using it. Right?

All goblinite is atom-smashed in my fort. I use only pure iron worked with hands and bears and coal!

Then goblins die of that iron.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AngleWyrm on June 25, 2010, 07:49:00 pm
85 guys, 375 plump helmets, 3 stills, and my fort dies of thirst. So much for trying out the New and Improved temperate zones.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewsMuffin on June 25, 2010, 08:36:41 pm
I dig out an awesome design, that I'll take a picture of if people ask, a dining hall leading to rooms, with cool designs 'n' shit. Then I realize that my militia commander, Kogsak Shoothelms is not happy. When I look, it says she talked to someone annoying lately. I checked her relationships, and found that she had made two grudges. Out of six other dwarfs. I didn't have any immigrants yet. I decided that not one dwarf is to be unhappy, so I check what she likes, and form her a bitching room. This takes roughly a month, and my dwarfs were still running off embark food. I realize that EVERYONE is hungry or starving. I set up a farmer, butcher, cook, and their shops, to find that the people I set these jobs to are hunting VERMIN. Goddamnit. So I'm guessing my fort is doomed because I suck too bad to bring the food back.

It's also strange how people sleep in other peoples rooms.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HollowClown on June 26, 2010, 06:47:36 am
Direct from the wiki:
Quote
Unlike activity zones, burrows can also be extended through not-yet revealed tiles...

Source: http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Burrow

When trying to mine while my dwarves were restricted to burrows, I'd been extending the burrow by one tile, waiting for the walls to be mined out, then extending the burrow again.  I thought that because the burrows didn't flash on unrevealed tiles, this meant that they weren't being set.  Major facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: heuristicus on June 26, 2010, 09:25:00 am
One of my masons just constructed a masterwork kiln...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: warwizard on June 26, 2010, 09:49:48 am
Quote from: AngleWyrm on June 25, 2010, 07:49:00 pm
85 guys, 375 plump helmets, 3 stills, and my fort dies of thirst. So much for trying out the New and Improved temperate zones.
then build a dozen stills and assign every dwarf the labor to be brewing up booze at least till the problem is fixed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BladeBerserker on June 26, 2010, 09:54:09 am
1:Spent an hour preparing the perfect embark.

2:Got there.

3:Realised I forgot the axe.

4:FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: heuristicus on June 26, 2010, 10:10:18 am
Not so much a facepalm as a pretty funny and relatively stupid thing:

I did a controlled collapse on the floor above what is to become my statue garden, open to the skies.  I didn't realise that when collapsing things, they can break through the floor.  I now have a huge hole leading into the second cavern layer.  Ah well, time to floor it over.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on June 26, 2010, 10:25:44 am
Quote from: BladeBerserker on June 26, 2010, 09:54:09 am
1:Spent an hour preparing the perfect embark.

2:Got there.

3:Realised I forgot the axe.

4:FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

wooden training axes cut trees.
No forge required.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AntiSheep on June 26, 2010, 02:08:43 pm
My first fort to last about two year. I had only just figured out the metal industry and equipped my 4 legendary wrestlers with iron armor. I had my first goblin ambush, so no big deal I send out my squad... who all die within about 4 seconds. They make it onto my fort and the first person they run into is my legendary miner, who kills 3 of them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: heuristicus on June 26, 2010, 02:11:18 pm
Today is turning out to be a pretty fun day.

Currently building an obsidian factory, so I was a little distracted.  Designated some trees to be cut down in a cavern I opened up, and got back to the water channels.  First facepalm is when I start to dig out the last layer above the magma.  Naturally, some idiot decides to channel the wrong bit of floor, and 2 of my legendary miners fall to their fiery demise.

Not that I minded too much, still got 5 legendary miners.  At this point, some people got a little upset, because one of those who died turned out to be one of the original 7.  Not great.

Anyway, after deciding to give up the channeling and get on with setting up levers and floodgates and so on, I notice a pink message.  Oh?  None of my dwarves recently went into strange moods.  I go to the announcements, and it turns out a bloody GCS spawned somewhere in the caverns and has now ravaged 5 or so dwarves who were hauling wood from the cavern.  Luckily, none of them particularly useful (ok, a legendary + 5 gem setter, but I never do anything with gems).  I get my militia down there, and the spider is dead within 5 seconds or so.

Anyway, the aftermath is that someone goes insane, one dwarf suffocates a few steps from the hospital, and my legendary weaponsmith who singlehandedly forged every weapon my fortress possesses, decides to go on a tantrum, although luckily this doesn't cause any problems (it seems).

Also, I get my first fell mood.  The dwarf that he grabs is some useless planter with almost no skills whatsoever, so that's fine.  I'm hoping I get something reasonably nice, although my hopes aren't particularly high. He ends up making this:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Hooray.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KitsuneStudios on June 26, 2010, 02:21:17 pm
The engineer/architect/administrator of my starting team was injured in the spring of the first year in a mining accident removing hillside ramps. He looks to be winded and with only minor injuries so I leave him to recuperate.

When the caravan arrives and he's not showing up to the depot, I start to worry. So I check on him. He looks healthy! Get out of bed you... oh...  wait, I can scroll down the injuries. Mangled spine. Lovely.

Of course, since I was waiting for him to get back up, I hadn't converted the others to do his jobs, like setting up the irrigation pumps for the farms. Not a good winter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The Tyrant on June 26, 2010, 06:31:25 pm
Quote from: Flaede on June 26, 2010, 10:25:44 am
Quote from: BladeBerserker on June 26, 2010, 09:54:09 am
1:Spent an hour preparing the perfect embark.

2:Got there.

3:Realised I forgot the axe.

4:FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

wooden training axes cut trees.
No forge required.

Well that just boggles the mind  :o

Wish I'd known that before, would have saved some time from the time's I've done this *facepalm*

Now I know to dismantle the cart and make some wooden wood choppers!  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Geti on June 26, 2010, 06:59:37 pm
Open succession save:
Master glassworker carring a baby walking past my sparring forces dodges a dodging swordsdwarf and falls 29 levels. I don't like it when I aren't told about these stupidly deep chasms my friends keep digging.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DerUbermensch on June 26, 2010, 08:44:17 pm
I recently built a moat around my newest fortress, when I noticed something:

The land covering below my bridge was solid, making it so easy for invaders to slaughter my dwarven resources. So I sent a miner to clear it out, and with the pressure of a caravan, it collapsed under itself. carrying my Dwarf and the Elf Caravan into the enraged river I used to feed my moat. The Miner shall be missed in his time, but for now, I need to arm the Ballista.

In short, I mined out the space under my bridge but forgot to finish the top part. So when I sent a Miner to fix it, a Elf Caravan rushed by and collapsed the tunnel below it, effectively ruining my defense.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AngleWyrm on June 26, 2010, 08:49:13 pm
I got an embark site with a 3-z waterfall. I was so excited that I dug an entrance that went down, and built a bridge spanning the waterfall. Then I realized that there wasn't enough room on the other side of the waterfall to build much of anything. Oops. Next embark site...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Daetrin on June 26, 2010, 10:44:30 pm
Finding out after 4 million created wealth (without adamantine) and a heck of a lot of other stuff, that the reason I wasn't getting a Baron was no roads.

Oops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SmileyMan on June 28, 2010, 08:13:49 am
Got bored with a fortress so decided to kill it with lava from the volcano.  Badly miscalulated size of required tunnel, so magma creeps into the fortress incredibly slowly.  It took about 5 game years for every dwarf to die, with some horrific moments along the way.

Such as the mother carrying her baby under a staircase where gobbets of magma were falling down.  One blob burned the bottom half of the babe clean off, causing her to go berserk.  And she was my embark woodcutter......

I have a feeling a lot of very disturbing art will be turning up in the next fort.  :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: godlyhalo on June 28, 2010, 04:17:30 pm
Earlier today I was building a fortress in an underground cavern system about 50-z levels down. It had a magma pool so I used that to set up some natural defenses to keep the constant invasions of cave creatures at bay. Although my fighters kept getting injured, and I didn't have a water source. I had a frozen river that I thought would melt in the summer, but it wouldn't melt so I had to find alternative means of getting water. I had found an underground cavern systems about 20-z levels above my base which contained a huge supply of water. So I figured I would use that to get a constant supply of water. I started digging out a reservoir but I forgot to add a critical door. When I dug the final piece out into the cavern water supply, the small shaft I was in instantly filled up with 7/7 water, luckily my miner was able to make his way the 5 or so space to climb up stairs. Then I noticed purple text on the bottom of the screen, and I went to check it out. What I saw was halarious, literally within about 10 seconds my ENTIRE main base area was filled with 7/7 water, and my entire cavern was flooding quickly. Within about 1 min 90% of my population had drowned, except for a miner or two, the king who sat in his throne room till his doom (Funny how he starts looking for small creatures for food in a 5x5 room), and a smelter that somehow managed to survive for 10 min while submerged in 7/7 water while he was at a magma furnace.

I never thought you could flood your entire base in less than 10 seconds.....guess I was wrong.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lanceleoghauni on June 28, 2010, 04:43:21 pm
the very last item this moody dwarf needs is shells...

I'm in a sealed fort, underwater. interestingly this makes getting shells harder...

First death in this fortress. Generational's can be so nerve wracking
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Keldor on June 29, 2010, 06:25:41 am
You know, with the simple addition of a little pond somewhere inside the underwater sealed fort, you'll get a nice self-sustaining population of turtles...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NightmareBros on June 29, 2010, 09:30:13 am
Embarked, tried to stirke the earth, realised nobody had a pick So we couldn't dig. Got set upon by Elephants.
Quickest abandon fort in all of dwarf fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: warwizard on June 29, 2010, 09:48:05 pm
got a nice sword dwarf in my 2nd migrant wave , made him the militia captain , put him in a squad and carefully set the training schedule to only require one dwarf, gave him a barracks , an uniform and all that stuff, noticed him a few times doing the odd industrial labor, (for first two years all dwarves do any job in my forts) year three, no kobolds, no goblins, only a peaceful human civ and the dwarven starting one, happened to glance at his skills, the accomplished sword dwarf skill had rusted... to dabbling! *facepalm*  Another facepalm , embark site has no flux , talked to the dwarven laision first fall and requested flux stone, and they dutifully brought three, but the face palm... the moment the laision set foot on the map the fall of year two, he dropped dead of old age, first I knew of it was the gleefull announcements that the monkeys had made off with the <<=STEEL_breastplate=>> then the grieves, and leggings, and high boots, and shield, and his weapon, all masterly decorated masterwork steel worth perhaps 50k dwarfbucks or more each. and it's now year 4 and they have still not apointed another laision, no steel industry for me it seems.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Karnewarrior on June 29, 2010, 10:07:46 pm
Quote from: NightmareBros on June 29, 2010, 09:30:13 am
Embarked, tried to stirke the earth, realised nobody had a pick So we couldn't dig. Got set upon by Elephants.
Quickest abandon fort in all of dwarf fortress.
Not true. I once managed to land my wagon in a 4x5 island just off the coast. Couldn't get to land because of an aquifer, so no stone. I still don't know how they got out, but they got into legends so I guessed they must have gotten off in some suitibly dwafy way.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Euld on June 29, 2010, 10:40:50 pm
Started a cavern fortress.  The meeting area will be above ground to combat cave adaption, but otherwise, all industry and farming will be in the caverns.  When I was just one wall away from sealing off the rest of the first cavern I found, a troglodyte started chasing my mason.  The mason ran to the stairs, so I activated my woodcutter to intercept.  The mason then turned the other way, ran right past the incomplete wall and further into the unexplored cavern.  By then, the woodcutter showed up (without his axe of course, forgot to tell him to keep it) and the three of them ran around aimlessly, none of them fast enough to catch anyone.  So I recruited the mason so the woodcutter could catch up.  The three of them start wrestling, when I realize another troglodyte has joined in.  I order the rest of my dwarves the join the match while two more troglodytes show up.  By the end of it, three dwarves are hospitalized, the mason, the carpenter, and my weapon/armorsmith, and the troglodytes are dead.  The rest of the cavern is sealed off.  No chance to make soap, water isn't close enough to use... this will be Fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SmileyMan on June 30, 2010, 05:29:36 am
Started a nice fort in a swamp for a bit of a change.  No aquifer, and a lots of limonite, coal and dolomite a few Zs down, so a chance for early magma-less steel.  Obviously popular - massive migrants pushed me over 70 dwarfs within first year.

Decided to fill the moat around the surface keep, mainly for aesthetic value.  Also decided to make a small offshoot for a well.

Anyone see what's coming next?  Yep...

What z-level did I build that well at?  Below the water source level.  Where did I build it?  In a small un-doored chamber next to my core stairwell.  Did all the dwarves drown?  No, one farmer wasn't at the party.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dungeon on June 30, 2010, 07:11:53 am
I started a new world to mess around in, mod, that sort of stuff. Playing around with making an Adamantine fortress, which is really cool. But I'm getting absolutly no Migrants. Only Human caravans and Elven.

Anyway, there's one Dwarf, which I named after myself. The dude has over 60 cats...

Now, I know I like cats, hell, I love cats. I have quite a few of them in real life. But...seriously, everytime I turn around, DungeonDwarf is adopting more and more cats.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: einstein9073 on June 30, 2010, 11:46:40 am
Urist McNounVerb cancels Gather Plant: Scared by Hoary Marmot.

"Whore-y Marmot? It wears too much makeup and a tubetop?"
"Yeah, and fishnet stockings."
"Maybe Urist was scared of catching the clap."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kidiri on June 30, 2010, 07:02:24 pm
Quote from: Karnewarrior on June 29, 2010, 10:07:46 pm
Quote from: NightmareBros on June 29, 2010, 09:30:13 am
Embarked, tried to stirke the earth, realised nobody had a pick So we couldn't dig. Got set upon by Elephants.
Quickest abandon fort in all of dwarf fortress.
Not true. I once managed to land my wagon in a 4x5 island just off the coast. Couldn't get to land because of an aquifer, so no stone. I still don't know how they got out, but they got into legends so I guessed they must have gotten off in some suitibly dwafy way.
Even then, in 40d, using nano-fort, someone embarked on an exposed magma pipe and bottomless pit in one region tile. This made the volcano 'erupt'. They died quickly. And then there are the people with the thermonuclear catsplosion turned on from the beginning.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SmileyMan on July 02, 2010, 03:54:16 am
So my master brewer goes into a mood and starts demanding stone.  A quick look at his profile shows that he's a big fan of orthoclase ...... and I'm sitting on a gigantic pile of sedimentary rock.  I don't want to lose this fellow, so I start digging my main stairwell down to find an orthoclase-friendly layer.  Finally, I hit an igneous intrusive layer (what other game can make you say "Yay! Gabbro!" ?).  I designate another set of stairs so that I can start some exploratory mining.  "You have discovered a gigantic cavern!"

Yeah, and I also discovered a nest of troglodytes right next to my stairwell.  And I have no military set up yet.  Oops!

Note to self: do not do exploratory shaft-digging via your main stairwell.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: musicmastermsh on July 02, 2010, 12:45:47 pm
My current fort's mayor is my best legendary miner.

My entire mining corps is in the middle of channeling out a large pit to expose my dining hall to the sunlight.

This liason arrived and started following the mayor, as he is prone to do.  Even though the mayor is channeling the floor out over a very deep pit.  So... when the liason ended up on the tile the mayor was removing...

And thus, I find a liason corpse in the middle of my dining hall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joe-Schmoe on July 02, 2010, 01:01:50 pm
Ok, this next story is one that I can tell my friend anytime and he will laugh uncontrollably. I don't think it's quite as funny, but here goes.

It's my first fort, and things are (shock!) going rather well; aside from the common newbie mishaps, of course. My fort had two entrances...one near each murky pool that my fisherdwarves were frequenting. One of these entrances was a 2x2 set of floor hatches set into the roof of my fort.

Unfortunatelly, the roof of my fort was a popular grazing area for the packs of horses that liked to roam around. Every now and then, a fisherdwarf would flip out because he saw one of these horses, but in general they avoided us and we avoided them. I thought nothing of it until one day I got a HUGE slew of messages: "Urist McEquiniphobe cancels job: interrupted by Horse". *Pause*. *Zoom to location*.

Ohhhhh crap, one of the horses decided to take a shortcut THROUGH my fortress. Turns out, my hunter (who I had been allowing to hunt at will) pegged one of the bastards in the leg, which sent it into a frenzy. THE CHASE WAS ON. THROUGH MY FORTRESS.

This horse ran in one entrance, past one of the main workshop areas, along the main hallway (FULL of nobles and children) past all of my indoor farmers, and out the front door again. Actually, that's a lie. He didn't use the front door, he jumped into my well and escaped via the aqueduct. Oh, did I mention it was GUSHING BLOOD THE ENTIRE TIME? My main hallway (smoothed walls, engravings, etc.) was now covered in horse blood, as were all the dwarves that happened to be walking along it at the time. Oh yeah, and my water supply was forever red with blood. After the initial ruckus had died down, people got back to work, but I learned my lesson: KEEP THE HATCHES TIGHTLY SEALED.

So everything was fine after that, right? Wrong.

Turns out the fisherdwarves had pets. These pets would often be found begging to be let through one of the floor hatches, and I would pause the game, allow animals through the doors, unpause, wait for Mr. Scruffles to open the hatch (don't ask me how animals can open those things...), pause the game again, set the door to be "tightly sealed", and then get on with whatever it was I was doing. Needless to say, this bugged the hell out of me; I wanted to leave the doors open.

I did what I SHOULD have done from the start: built some traps. I made it impossible to use the hatches without passing at least 3 sawblades large, serrated discs.

I think you can see where this is going...horses are stupid, and not even 4 BUTCHERIES WORKING IN PARALLEL could keep up with the amount of dead horse carcass that piled up on my doorstep. *Shudders*. The entire hillside was red with blood. I swear, if blood behaved like a liquid and not a contaminant, my fort would have had a minor flood every time someone opened one of the hatches.

Another unfortunate side effect was that my dwarves got blood all over them after having used that entrance. They'd go to the well to clean off. The well soon became saturated with the blood of every living creature that ever bled. I dunno, maybe it's kind of badass that my fort's premier meeting area was a place where everyone sat around and chatted while standing knee-deep in blood. Or maybe it's just gross.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Agamemnon on July 02, 2010, 03:38:48 pm
That is just awesome...

A friend of mine asked about what he saw on screen:
"Is that lava?"
"No", I responded "that is the blood of my enemies"
He: "Can you give me a copy of that game?"

 :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Meanmelter on July 02, 2010, 04:35:14 pm
Quote from: Agamemnon on July 02, 2010, 03:38:48 pm
That is just awesome...

A friend of mine asked about what he saw on screen:
"Is that lava?"
"No", I responded "that is the blood of my enemies"
He: "Can you give me a copy of that game?"

 :D
Why can't my friends be like that.

"What the Carp* are you playing?"
"Dwarf Fortress"
"Dude, it looks like a bunch of dots moving around! What are you supposed to do?"
"Survive and build useless constructs of Magma."
"Well, can you shoot anyone?"
"with a Crossbow and Arrow"
"Well that is gay."
"It is good once you get into it. There are plenty of things you can do!"
"Like Dropping a Nuke after a 25 kill streak?"
"Dude, there is no kill streak, you could kill a million Goblins, Elves, Humans, animals, and other stuff." Closest thing to a nuke is the 'Catsplosion theory'"
"Uhh, whatever this game sucks, there are no graphics and crap."

 :'( Now I can only talk about Dwarf Fortress to Complete Strangers on a Fourm! No Offense.

*= Blocking a Vulgar word, is all.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: deoxys413 on July 03, 2010, 12:04:00 pm
Quote from: Meanmelter on July 02, 2010, 04:35:14 pm
Quote from: Agamemnon on July 02, 2010, 03:38:48 pm
That is just awesome...

A friend of mine asked about what he saw on screen:
"Is that lava?"
"No", I responded "that is the blood of my enemies"
He: "Can you give me a copy of that game?"

 :D
Why can't my friends be like that.

"What the Carp* are you playing?"
"Dwarf Fortress"
"Dude, it looks like a bunch of dots moving around! What are you supposed to do?"
"Survive and build useless constructs of Magma."
"Well, can you shoot anyone?"
"with a Crossbow and Arrow"
"Well that is gay."
"It is good once you get into it. There are plenty of things you can do!"
"Like Dropping a Nuke after a 25 kill streak?"
"Dude, there is no kill streak, you could kill a million Goblins, Elves, Humans, animals, and other stuff." Closest thing to a nuke is the 'Catsplosion theory'"
"Uhh, whatever this game sucks, there are no graphics and crap."

 :'( Now I can only talk about Dwarf Fortress to Complete Strangers on a Fourm! No Offense.

*= Blocking a Vulgar word, is all.
No joke, dude. I'm working at a summer camp and you just quoted verbatum all the questions these little kids asked/responded with when they watched me playing it during lunch.

Kids these days, always with the fancy graphics and shoot-em-ups >>;
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joe-Schmoe on July 03, 2010, 02:37:28 pm
Quote
Kids these days, always with the fancy graphics and shoot-em-ups >>;

Well, in my circle of friends, we all play a lot of different games (shooters included). But when the non-dorfers hear the dorfers talking about hilarious stuff that happened...they become dorfers.

I find that scorn and derision are the best tools for convincing people. Instead of "there are no killstreaks or nukes, sorry" you could have said something along the lines of: "Ok. Why don't you go and feed someone else's killstreak while I build a machine that bathes my enemies in lava and then dumps their corpses next to the dining room for butchering?"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on July 04, 2010, 02:24:19 am
If you're using lava/magma and getting corpses, something's not right.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: antymattar on July 04, 2010, 05:58:35 am
Quote from: deoxys413 on July 03, 2010, 12:04:00 pm
Quote from: Meanmelter on July 02, 2010, 04:35:14 pm
Quote from: Agamemnon on July 02, 2010, 03:38:48 pm
That is just awesome...

A friend of mine asked about what he saw on screen:
"Is that lava?"
"No", I responded "that is the blood of my enemies"
He: "Can you give me a copy of that game?"

 :D
Why can't my friends be like that.

"What the Carp* are you playing?"
"Dwarf Fortress"
"Dude, it looks like a bunch of dots moving around! What are you supposed to do?"
"Survive and build useless constructs of Magma."
"Well, can you shoot anyone?"
"with a Crossbow and Arrow"
"Well that is gay."
"It is good once you get into it. There are plenty of things you can do!"
"Like Dropping a Nuke after a 25 kill streak?"
"Dude, there is no kill streak, you could kill a million Goblins, Elves, Humans, animals, and other stuff." Closest thing to a nuke is the 'Catsplosion theory'"
"Uhh, whatever this game sucks, there are no graphics and crap."

 :'( Now I can only talk about Dwarf Fortress to Complete Strangers on a Fourm! No Offense.

*= Blocking a Vulgar word, is all.
No joke, dude. I'm working at a summer camp and you just quoted verbatum all the questions these little kids asked/responded with when they watched me playing it during lunch.

Kids these days, always with the fancy graphics and shoot-em-ups >>;

Damn right. Most of my friends think i'm a retard playing this, but infact they are the retards because they cant play it. they just dont compile.  [removed potty talk - tt]
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Organum on July 04, 2010, 05:06:20 pm
Anty, dude...your spelling and vulgarity make your post the worst thing I've seen today.

On topic, a "one-eyed serpent" forgotten beast that I'd totally forgotten about came out of hiding when I sent a woodcutter out to harvest some wood from a previously closed off cavern. It killed two of my dwarves before I sealed the entrance. On its way out it got in a fight with a troll that, surprisingly, managed to escape with little damage. In fact, the forgotten beast itself was more wounded than the troll.

I also had a Blind Cave Ogre rip a mason's arm off. Not a good day for her.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SethCreiyd on July 04, 2010, 11:18:07 pm
I just realized my dwarves were burning all the feather wood.  I was gonna use that wood.  :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RCIX on July 04, 2010, 11:36:49 pm
Quote from: Organum on July 04, 2010, 05:06:20 pm
Anty, dude...your spelling and vulgarity make your post the worst thing I've seen today.
QFT

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: afterthought on July 05, 2010, 01:41:23 am
Well I decided to expand a diagonal flow section in my magma tubing without realizing that now my magma forges are completely covered in magma. Woops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ricky on July 05, 2010, 11:55:46 am
well, being nifty with embark points, bought an anvil, 4 copper bars, 1 bar of coke, and a few rocks of bitiminious coal, and used the coke without making more coke first :(

fail :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ricky on July 05, 2010, 12:12:38 pm
Quote from: ricky on July 05, 2010, 11:55:46 am
well, being nifty with embark points, bought an anvil, 4 copper bars, 1 bar of coke, and a few rocks of bitiminious coal, and used the coke without making more coke first :(

fail :(


even bigger facepalm: i have logs to make more coke
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fistbeard on July 05, 2010, 08:34:08 pm
I struck Adamantine within mere months of starting my fortress. This next spring, my Civ's king arrived.

He didn't even make it to the fortress before he died of old age.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: elfhater on July 05, 2010, 11:12:46 pm
I just killed my expedition leader. He died of thirst. I had him tagged as a miner. I was digging a 1-square-wide diagonal channel to a cistern from the river. Half my dwarves ran down there to pick up gold nuggets (this map was riddled with gold) and would constantly bump into each other and lose path to the stockpile above ground, and they'd keep doing it. Nobody could get through. By the time I realized I needed to a) widen the channel to get them all out of it, and b) dig a back exit from the cistern into the bottom of my fort, they were all on the verge of dying. Then they died, starting with the expedition leader himself. Within a year of embark.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on July 06, 2010, 12:24:24 am
Haven't gotten an embark with a brook for a while now.  Been scraping by by draining pools into carefully hollowed-out future farm plot rooms, and then channeling what little overflow is left to start a small underground tree farm for emergencies.  Lots of re-walling the pools up after irrigation; lots of misshapen rooms.

And then I JUST REMEMBERED:  I'm sitting on an aquifer.  I have a windpower 40 map.  I have an infinite pinata of free water for the pumping.  D'oh.

ETA!!  Left the game unpaused while typing this up.  Found pages of bright pink death messages.

Oh, right.  Pterosaurs fly, don't they?  *facepalms*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sjaakwortel on July 06, 2010, 02:37:10 pm
"peasant urist is trowing a tantrum"
no danger at all rigth ?? well till i realised that he was my strongest fully steel equipped axedwarf. He chops off the left arms of two of my other axedwarfs who i send out to kill him.
ended up in a tantrum spiral and a reverce to save.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Solace on July 06, 2010, 04:26:02 pm
Hey, I hear ramps work better than stairs, lemme try that! I bet I have a pretty simple, compact way to make ramps too. Hey, why are all my miners sitting at the bottom of my new base and starving, rather than leaving and going to get food? Oh, ok, I made ramps that go down just fine, but...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: katyrnyn on July 06, 2010, 04:31:11 pm
I hadn't managed to get my Magma shops up and running, so I hadn't made any armour yet.  But I had a handful of masterwork steel axes thanks to a formerly Fey Legendary Weaponsmith.  (I wanted to crank out some weapons before skill rust set in.  After that the emergency forge was deconstructed.)   Forgetting my complete lack of metal armours, I assign my two recently-Legendary fighters to a squad using all-steel armour and weapons.  Pretty soon they were sparring with the axes and gaining skill like mad dwarfs.  Until the end of their second or third season:

Urist McAxeNoob is unhappy. Urist McAxeNoob killed a sparring partner recently.  Urist McAxeNoob took joy in slaughter recently.  Urist McAxeNoob witnessed death recently.  Urist McAxeNoob lost a friend to tragedy recently....

So, yeah, sparring in the nude with Masterwork Steel BattleAxes is a bit lethal....

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TomiTapio on July 06, 2010, 06:30:38 pm
Quote from: melomel on July 06, 2010, 12:24:24 am
ETA!!  Left the game unpaused while typing this up.  Found pages of bright pink death messages.

Set the fort to pause on citizen death: edit [CITIZEN_DEATH:A_D:D_D:BOX:P:R] into announcements-init.

I like to drain pools too, and not mess with rivers, brooks and aquifers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on July 06, 2010, 07:00:03 pm
Quote from: TomiTapio on July 06, 2010, 06:30:38 pm
Set the fort to pause on citizen death: edit [CITIZEN_DEATH:A_D:D_D:BOX:P:R] into announcements-init.

Neat! Is there a command to zoom to death too?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shurhaian on July 07, 2010, 07:04:41 am
You just need to put the appropriate arguments in the token. announcements.txt has an explanation of that. In the line that was given:

[CITIZEN_DEATH:A_D:D_D:BOX:P:R]

You find CITIZEN_DEATH, which by default has after it A_D:D_D:UCR_A. A_D means it gets displayed in adventure mode, D_D means it's displayed in dwarf mode(so-and-so has been struck down.), UCR_A means it'll be stuck in a combat report if there is one involving that unit(but if there isn't one already, a new one won't be made). You could leave the UCR_A in there as well. That way, any combat reports that directly result in a citizen getting killed will still have the message to that effect in them. (Bleeding to death doesn't seem to count.)

BOX pops up a message box, as when you find adamantine. P pauses the game, R recenters it. So the line you were given will zoom to it already!

Edit: You don't even need the P in there. BOX implies a pause - the game will not keep running behind a pop-up message. R[ECENTER] might or might not work, though - some events can't readily be centered on. I think a citizen death should be possible(except for maybe falling into nothingness... though with HFS who knows if that even happens anymore), but I'm not terribly inclined to kill my dwarves just to test it. Too darned nice to them...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SenorPez on July 07, 2010, 09:50:17 am
Recently I:

Since there wasn't a chain to lock him to, the Legendary Clothworker held accountable for the mayor's failed mandate didn't do so well after getting pick'd in the face.

He was the main source of trading income from the fortress. Back to stone crafts, I guess.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: derekiv on July 07, 2010, 06:15:15 pm
Train a new one on pigtails. Its easy enough to grow a couple thousand. :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Endovior on July 08, 2010, 04:23:06 am
I just learned that, although extremely amusing conceptually, you can't actually sell goblin thieves to the merchant caravans.  (Or, at the very least, that I'm doing it very, very wrong.)

Had these goblins sitting around in my stockpile for a while, and was contemplating various amusing ways to dispose of them.  Caravan shows up, and I'm thinking 'hey, problem solved!'

No, not really.  I see a message saying "Urist McHauler cancels Bring Item to Depot: Interrupted by Goblin Thief"... and before I even have time to think 'damnit', there's a whole flood of similar messages.  Sure enough, my haulers went and freed the goblins before attempting to move the cages.

Worse still, the goblins are apparently armed and stabbing people.  Fortunately, the goblins were freed in the animal stockpile, which is full of stray war dogs milling around, plus one war lion (yay, elves!).  Otherwise, that could've been kinda Fun.  Actual kill credit goes to a legendary miner who was passing through, though... everyone else is freaking out and running around, and the war beasts are failing to hit the goblin through his impenetrable silk armor, while this guy walks up and one-shots with 'The Miner strikes The Goblin Thief in the head with his (copper pick) tearing apart the muscle and shattering the skull through the (cave spider silk hood)!'

One almost got away, even half-mangled and bleeding, but did not manage to escape through the field of cage traps around the entrance.  I expect him to die shortly.

In any event, I need to rethink my goblin disposal strategy.  That's a bit too much fun for everyday goblin disposal.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SmileyMan on July 08, 2010, 07:58:01 am
Quote from: Endovior on July 08, 2010, 04:23:06 am
In any event, I need to rethink my goblin disposal strategy.  That's a bit too much fun for everyday goblin disposal.
If you developed your accidental discovery into a more organised "trial by beasts" arrangement you could create a brilliant collosseum for your dwarves' entertainment.  Lever 1 releases the gobbo, Lever 2 releases the war rat, Lever 3, the war cat, Lever 4 the war dog, Lever 5 the car camel, Lever 6 the war lion etc.

If the gobbo dispatches all the animals, then a final lever opens a door to the outside, as Armok has clearly decreed the gobbo to be Not Guilty and should go free!

It'll probably turn up in Legends as well, which will be awesome.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sinned on July 08, 2010, 12:59:25 pm
Quote from: deoxys413 on July 03, 2010, 12:04:00 pm
Quote from: Meanmelter on July 02, 2010, 04:35:14 pm
Quote from: Agamemnon on July 02, 2010, 03:38:48 pm
That is just awesome...

A friend of mine asked about what he saw on screen:
"Is that lava?"
"No", I responded "that is the blood of my enemies"
He: "Can you give me a copy of that game?"

 :D
Why can't my friends be like that.

"What the Carp* are you playing?"
"Dwarf Fortress"
"Dude, it looks like a bunch of dots moving around! What are you supposed to do?"
"Survive and build useless constructs of Magma."
"Well, can you shoot anyone?"
"with a Crossbow and Arrow"
"Well that is gay."
"It is good once you get into it. There are plenty of things you can do!"
"Like Dropping a Nuke after a 25 kill streak?"
"Dude, there is no kill streak, you could kill a million Goblins, Elves, Humans, animals, and other stuff." Closest thing to a nuke is the 'Catsplosion theory'"
"Uhh, whatever this game sucks, there are no graphics and crap."

 :'( Now I can only talk about Dwarf Fortress to Complete Strangers on a Fourm! No Offense.

*= Blocking a Vulgar word, is all.
No joke, dude. I'm working at a summer camp and you just quoted verbatum all the questions these little kids asked/responded with when they watched me playing it during lunch.

Kids these days, always with the fancy graphics and shoot-em-ups >>;

/agree


Now get off my lawn!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rokkomies on July 09, 2010, 02:44:52 am
My very first attempt to tap a Volcano turned out both great and a bit funny fun. I had made a clever plan to dig out a tunnel for my magmareservoir and an other one on top of that to access the magma. I had channeled out a 3x3 area at the end of the upper tunnel and added grates there so that when my miner goes in and breaches the magma, it will not flood the upper tunnel instantly and the miner has enough time to escape. I also had a flood gate ready so that when my miner gets out of the upper tunnel, i can instantly block it just in case (I was not sure if the upper tunnel would flood with magma... It did. Flood gate was necessary).

When everything was set set ready, I designated the last tile to breach the magma. I waited... and waited... and waited, but no one was going in to the tunnel. At last I see some one enter it and thought: "Yay, here we go, and it just happens to be one of the new migrant non-skilled miners, so no harm done if he dies." But in stead of going to mine the magma vein, he goes down the ramps (I did not remove them when i channeled the way down) and in to the magma reservoir. He turned out to be my Legendary Stonecrafter who went down there to get some stone... And this was also the same moment when one of my real miners decided to go and release the magma.

The stone crafter was on his way back in the lover magma tunnel when he saw the searing red stuff pouring in. He tried to run, but bled to death very soon... The miner got safely away tough. Next time, have to remember to forbid all stone in the reservoir before releasing the magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on July 09, 2010, 03:07:49 am
Quote from: Shurhaian on July 07, 2010, 07:04:41 am
You just need to put the appropriate arguments in the token. announcements.txt has an explanation of that. In the line that was given:

[CITIZEN_DEATH:A_D:D_D:BOX:P:R]

You find CITIZEN_DEATH, which by default has after it A_D:D_D:UCR_A. A_D means it gets displayed in adventure mode, D_D means it's displayed in dwarf mode(so-and-so has been struck down.), UCR_A means it'll be stuck in a combat report if there is one involving that unit(but if there isn't one already, a new one won't be made). You could leave the UCR_A in there as well. That way, any combat reports that directly result in a citizen getting killed will still have the message to that effect in them. (Bleeding to death doesn't seem to count.)

BOX pops up a message box, as when you find adamantine. P pauses the game, R recenters it. So the line you were given will zoom to it already!

Edit: You don't even need the P in there. BOX implies a pause - the game will not keep running behind a pop-up message. R[ECENTER] might or might not work, though - some events can't readily be centered on. I think a citizen death should be possible(except for maybe falling into nothingness... though with HFS who knows if that even happens anymore), but I'm not terribly inclined to kill my dwarves just to test it. Too darned nice to them...

I did not know one could do that.  DF truly is a plethora of optimization.  I'm totally putting that in my settings; thanks!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: einstein9073 on July 09, 2010, 11:01:31 am
Quote from: melomel on July 09, 2010, 03:07:49 am
Quote from: Shurhaian on July 07, 2010, 07:04:41 am
You just need to put the appropriate arguments in the token. announcements.txt has an explanation of that. In the line that was given:
[CITIZEN_DEATH:A_D:D_D:BOX:P:R]
...
I did not know one could do that.  DF truly is a plethora of optimization.  I'm totally putting that in my settings; thanks!
At least until the next version comes out and wipes all your customizations.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: scira on July 09, 2010, 03:47:29 pm
"What a great spot, sediment, flux, heavy forest/vegetation and a brook"
"No humans or elves, well maybe i will still get goblins and orcs"
"Hmm this sure is a great fortress, 30 champions, traps set up nicely, im ready for them!"
<realizes no one is coming>
<facepalm>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lanceleoghauni on July 09, 2010, 06:12:51 pm
I still have no anvil...

no bones, fat, meat, skulls, or shells either.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: billw on July 09, 2010, 08:42:11 pm
Spend half a year (in game..) building an awesome fully automated goblin drowning corridor, all the while watching vids on my other monitor. Vid stops, I start another one, but media player crashes. No prob I'll just bring up task manager and kill Dwarf Fortress.exe. NOOOOOOO!!!!
(this happened 30 seconds ago, maybe its a sign to go to sleep and 31.09 will be out when I wake up!)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lamoxlamae on July 10, 2010, 05:21:11 pm
I channeled underground to start construction of a new fortress as for some reason it wasn't letting me just build stairs. Everything was going well until I noticed nobody but the miners were inside. In fact, I could only build up/down stairs underground. The miners were trapped! I poked at things frustrated for an hour and had to reboot my save as the first time the miners had started resorting to cannibalism.

On the second save I found what I had done wrong: I should have gone underground and told it to build stairs up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kazul on July 10, 2010, 07:47:21 pm
The message popped up that "Someone had withdrawn from society"

Instead of letting them do their thing I reloaded a previous save thinking "wtf I just lost my carpenter"

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cardinal on July 10, 2010, 11:11:39 pm
"Pile of molten steel"

Yeah, and here I thought my mile-long repeating spikes of death was a great solution to the demon problem.

And flaming, hairy demon blobs in 31.09 are killable, but they're still melting my soldiers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: expwnent on July 10, 2010, 11:34:47 pm
My dwarves just used adamantine strands for sutures.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lanceleoghauni on July 11, 2010, 01:33:55 am
Quote from: expwnent on July 10, 2010, 11:34:47 pm
My dwarves just used adamantine strands for sutures.

a common ailment indeed.

I suggest putting them all behind an airlock type system.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: elfhater on July 11, 2010, 06:46:25 pm
Quote from: Eugenitor on July 11, 2010, 04:47:33 am
Anyone with adamantine sutures should have the toughness of adamantine on the sutured area.

My first facepalm moment was a very Fun fort in which I wanted some flat land and decided to do a little strip-mining, and no I don't mean the kind where you forget to build a clothier or a leatherworks for several years. Sure, I'll just mine out this Z-level here, what do you mean there's still a floor above it?

At least something got flattened!

That's exactly why I keep a Stonesense window open when I play these days. An effort to avoid playing 2-dimensionally. I still tend to put stuff "down the hall" rather than "directly beneath".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on July 11, 2010, 09:13:37 pm
Quote from: lanceleoghauni on July 11, 2010, 01:33:55 am
Quote from: expwnent on July 10, 2010, 11:34:47 pm
My dwarves just used adamantine strands for sutures.

a common ailment indeed.

I suggest putting them all behind an airlock type system.

The blue metal, or the dorfs?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: warwizard on July 11, 2010, 11:12:49 pm
31.09 Embarked on a hevilly forested area, 7 dwarfs, no skills, no meat, no plants, brought lots of booze, and milk, training axe 1 pick and... snow and ice nearly everywhere, brook frozen solid, no shrubbery, no trees, hmm started digging into the mountain, going slow, built the obglitary beds and set up the starting workshops, everybody hungry, slaughtered the mule, did not have space to place a food stockpile, (vultures were waiting outside, so outside food stockpile would have just fed them) dwarves ate one meat each and the rest rotted.  ok! the brook defrosted set everyone to fishing, but they were all busy hunting vermin to eat, then I realized that I had 60 milk and had not built the farmer's workshop to change it into cheese *facepalm* one dwarf finally caught and ate a vermin then went fishing, and another caught a vermin, started making more bronze, removed him from the job, and anter repeating a wew times on the other jobs finally got him to start the building of the farmer's workshop. got the workshop built and first cheese made nobody starved to death, and, "Some migrants have arrived!". <groan>

  Ok built some bronze picks and assigned some more dwarves to mine and dug out a tunnel to the brook, 3 spaces away from completion and the brook freezes. It's going to be a rather dry winter if I do not do something so I search the entire map and find some suguaro cati and a few scattered shrubbery at top and bottom left side of this 6x6 embark. I order up all the plants to be picked, despite the giant eagle flying about. Off go all the dwarves and shortly I have a few megre prickle berrys and blade weeds. set the seeds to be cooked and brew the berrys and make dye with the blade weed. Dwarven traders show up but I have not built the trade depot yet and with the scramble to gather plants and make booze no dwarf manages to find the time to build the trade depot, and the dwarven traders depart, taking their 60 plump helmut, and the many barrels of booze they had brought. 5 of my 17 dwarves manage to die of thirst as I make the first barrels of prickle berry wine and longland beer while the traders lounge about watching my dwarves drop dead of thirst.
  In the dead of winter more migrants arrive, now have 35 mouths to feed and booze. Got a hunter to finally activate, and She brings in a Giant Juguar. Then the elves show up the depot is open but one of my puppies that a migrant brought is killed my the elves as they make their way in. Thinking that all the elves were in I set the outer door to be kept tightly closed, and proceed to move what few trade goods I had available (some GCS clothing from the 5 deceased dwarves, 10 coke, and a few other cheap items) get the message that they are going to depart soon, notice no broker assigned yet, checked all the dwarves, yup no appraisers in the lot, ok picked one that can judge intent... and set it to anybody can trade, and went away.
Chexked it and *facepalm* had not requested a broker, set that and came back to it in a few min, and trade was lit up, cool, " We're sorry we have not quite finished setting up yet"!!!!!!!  ok it's the pet impassible doors... set the doors to let the pets in , and watch one last elf come through the front door and slowly make his way to the depot leading his M(ule) he gets there and  they are still unloading, !! wait 30 seconds and try again GOT in!  traded my 5 GCS cloathing 10 coke and 2 rock mechanisms for a dromadary camel Dam and some booze and about 60 plants, not too bad for using a random dwarf. 5 seconds after I leave the trading window, the elves pack up and depart! Phew that was SO close! Manage to survive the winter with the hunting, seeds and booze from the elves, no thanks to the dwarves.
  Perhaps this fortress will buy out the elven caravans and drown/imprison the dwarven ones.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shurhaian on July 12, 2010, 12:51:55 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on July 11, 2010, 09:13:37 pm
Quote from: lanceleoghauni on July 11, 2010, 01:33:55 am
Quote from: expwnent on July 10, 2010, 11:34:47 pm
My dwarves just used adamantine strands for sutures.

a common ailment indeed.

I suggest putting them all behind an airlock type system.

The blue metal, or the dorfs?

The only reference we had was keeping them apart from one another, so it's six of one, half a dozen of the other, really...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chattox on July 13, 2010, 06:49:44 am
Built a reservoir under the river that fed it.

Built a well under the reservoir that fed it.

Large amounts of pressure + accidentally leaving both floodgates of the reservoir open = much flooding!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: stuntaneous on July 14, 2010, 02:39:01 am
i often miss one obscure tile on a hillside when i'm building my epic walls.

everyone dies.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dariush on July 14, 2010, 04:34:17 am
Digging an awesome project near and under constantly turning river, accidentally digging one tile that diagonally connects to river. Death :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lowbart on July 14, 2010, 08:13:17 am
Facepalm moments: Every damn time that I forget to open the drawbridges BEFORE the traders arrive. I swear I'll build an open-plan trapped entrance eventually.

And EVERY DAMN TIME that I get the traders inside safely and then get distracted, and by the time I check the depot, see them, send the trader to the depot, and remember to check back again, the traders have already left.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on July 14, 2010, 09:21:17 am
I just now found out that the mouse is interactive with DF. That's gonna save my keyboard so much wear and tear from designating...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkwolf on July 14, 2010, 02:59:20 pm
Ooh, do you know about mass designation then, MZero?  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on July 14, 2010, 06:29:28 pm
Er, no. I sense another facepalm moment coming on. I know that you can designate in blocks, but as far as specifying a vein to mine, I was doing it by hand until I found the utilities in DFHack.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Funtimes on July 14, 2010, 06:39:40 pm
That would be the mass dumping/melting/hiding/forbidding through the d->b menu.

I just carved out a record hall, and removed all the walls I intended to engrave. Hrmph.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on July 14, 2010, 07:17:20 pm
I actually like micromanaging, though, so that's no biggie.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Funtimes on July 14, 2010, 07:20:04 pm
Infinitely useful when you want to smelt all the goblinite, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on July 14, 2010, 07:32:57 pm
This is a good point. I may have to look into it. Although, I usually use their weapons in my traps. Delicious when a goblin gets shredded by 10 goblin swords.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Time Kitten on July 15, 2010, 01:55:01 am
Eh, the weapons are usefull enough, but remember all that small armour they come with doesn't do much at all for you.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on July 15, 2010, 02:05:03 am
Goblin gear isn't small anymore
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Twobeard on July 15, 2010, 03:53:46 am
Mining out an area that i had previously walled off. Accidently. Zurg rush of forgotten beasts. Im not kidding. This fortess had more than 20 forgotten beasts locked in its basement. The reason they where locked out at the time was that it was still 31.08. I couldnt kill half of them no matter what i did. I revived the save to only do it again in 31.09 so i could pit my 40 legendary soldiers in bronze and adamantine at them. 30 of my dwarves died to forgotten beast gas anyway.
-also ala 31.08 The forgotten beast made of snow. The reason i walled off my caverns in the first place. He bludgeoned to death 5 or 6 poor buggers before i could save the rest of my fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sublight on July 15, 2010, 04:23:19 am
I've been facepalming repeatedly reading this thread. Been playing for over a year and didn't know any of the mass dump/melt/etc. commands!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Agamemnon on July 15, 2010, 08:44:12 am
Oh crap...

Well, I built the top half of my magmapumpstack with felsite blocks, because of budget cuts (I have to import All the bauxite) and because I thought that this would work, as long as the pumps are not submerged. Well, I was wrong. So yes, it worked good for a moment, then deconstructed. *facepalm*

Well, at least nothing spilled where it should not have gone, but now I have a 30 z-level shaft that is filled to a third with magma and screwpump debris. (corkscrews and pipe sections were steel)
Got to figure out, how to clean that up. :/

Edit: Actually, it says that pumps are magma-safe except for the walkable tile in the wiki. Well not anymore, because I edited that out. None of the walkable tiles was ever submerged, but the pumps still deconstructed one by one, as magma came in contact with the non-walkable tile from above.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shurhaian on July 15, 2010, 04:18:29 pm
Are you sure the issue wasn't that something on the pump stack suffered damage due to some other cause, which then caused the others it was supporting to deconstruct? Pump stacks are probably the biggest lot of hanging machinery anyone is likely to see unless deliberately making hanging machinery for its own sake - it may look like each pump is resting on a tile of solid ground, but in reality, each one is hanging. (Job cancellations can be a major setback - they seem to break the "virtual support" that pending mechanical constructions normally offer, so though you can build the pumps in a stack many at a time, you might find that half the stack breaks and the incomplete ones are unassigned because a job farther up cancelled and deconstructed.)

I'm not sure what I used to make my last pump stack. It's possible every last stone was magma-safe, I suppose, but it doesn't seem that likely...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Agamemnon on July 15, 2010, 05:06:09 pm
Well there is one other possible explanation:

I used a non-magma safe screw somewhere in the middle without noticing. At least I have one less steel screw than I have/had pumps now. So probably it was really my fault... Next facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Artanis00 on July 15, 2010, 05:43:44 pm
In view units mode, if multiple units are stacked in the tile, pressing v again will cycle through the stacked units.

I had accidentally hit v again after centering from the units menu, and had a double-take when the panel changed, followed shortly by /facepalm

Never again will I need to wait and see if a pet or dwarf or baby will move so I can get at one of the panels in a hidden unit. :/

This feature is not presented when only one unit is in the tile, explaining how I missed it. Still, it'd be nice if view mode from one of the lists would start with the right unit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Agamemnon on July 15, 2010, 06:25:05 pm
Quote
Still, it'd be nice if view mode from one of the lists would start with the right unit.

Define "right unit" to the program... Well, at least it could cycle through the children and animals on a tile last.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on July 15, 2010, 06:26:36 pm
The right unit would probably be, in order: Dorfs, children, nobles, non-cat animals, and cats.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Artanis00 on July 15, 2010, 07:03:31 pm
Quote from: Agamemnon on July 15, 2010, 06:25:05 pm
Quote
Still, it'd be nice if view mode from one of the lists would start with the right unit.

Define "right unit" to the program... Well, at least it could cycle through the children and animals on a tile last.

The "right unit" would be the one that was selected from the list.

For example, if you center on Urist McDwarf from the units list, and it turns out that there are 2 other dwarves, 2 infants, and a cat on the tile, the game would center as normal, but set the cycle so that Urist McDwarf is the one shown in the panel.

Quote from: MaximumZero on July 15, 2010, 06:26:36 pm
The right unit would probably be, in order: Dorfs, children, nobles, non-cat animals, and cats.

Sorting would be nice, but since I just discovered this feature I haven't had enough to determine if unordered lists are a detriment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewsMuffin on July 16, 2010, 11:29:28 pm
Not really a face palm, but every dwarf in my third migrant wave had military skills. One didn't have a weapon skill, just armor user, fighter, kicker, and dodger. Is this normal?
Also, there are three engravers. Engravers don't do to well in my fort. They either get mauled or drafted.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on July 17, 2010, 12:40:46 am
Quote from: NewsMuffin on July 16, 2010, 11:29:28 pm
Not really a face palm, but every dwarf in my third migrant wave had military skills. One didn't have a weapon skill, just armor user, fighter, kicker, and dodger. Is this normal?
Also, there are three engravers. Engravers don't do to well in my fort. They either get mauled or drafted.

Take that to theWhat's going on in your fort? (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=15096.0) thread.

Anyways, my most recent facepalm was that, while using the first Cavern to farm with (no pools or brooks so no irrigation), I never thought to cut down the Fungiwood/other tree-like things for wood so that I can have more than 3 beds. It took me 3 1/2 seasons to realize this. *Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: charred_gp on July 17, 2010, 01:44:32 am
During one of my first embarks, I decided to embark on a cold mountain. I had a stockpile set up to contain everything while I dug out the storage for my fort. This was during winter, with everything being covered in snow. Even the ice my stockpile was built on. So spring rolls around, storage is ready, so I go to remove the old stockpile, and I see all of my stuff had fallen to the bottom of a massive murky pool. Doh!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on July 17, 2010, 02:59:56 am
I just now realized that the hunger and thirst show up in the "Health" Z-menu. That would have saved me three dwarves in my last fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Orkel on July 17, 2010, 06:32:36 am
Started filling my huge hole with water to cover my underwater fort. But...

for some reason the dwarves go to "store item in stockpile" right at the place where the raging river channel is pushing water into the hole. So now I got 5 dead dwarves which fell down into the hole after the water caught and pushed them in, and it's not stopping. They keep walking to the channel with "Store item in stockpile", and then getting pushed into the hole and if they don't die from the fall they proceed to drown. I ordered them all to a burrow at my food stockpile, so I gotta wait until it fills completely so there's no flowing water anymore. Or I could try finding the items and forbidding them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: turgidtoupee on July 17, 2010, 06:47:22 am
Built hundreds of screw pumps to pump magma out of the magma sea and up to my above-ground tower. I get it all set up and didn't realise that my stack of gear assemblies only reaches the right tile on every other z-level. So I get it pumping, and cause there was a gear assembly diagonally adjacent to where the bottom screw pump was pumping to, it flooded the bottom level of my fort with magma. Complete with my farms, and farmer, and my secondary food stockpile. And my fishing hole and fisherdwarf. And all my seeds and my farmer's bedroom.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ungulateman on July 17, 2010, 09:03:49 am
Started a fort in a world at war with the gobbos. In a terrifying forest.

First, a pair of ogres kill all but one of my wardogs and do some damage to my woodcutter.

Later, harpies arrive and slaughter most of my muskoxen, and the last dog.

Then a goblin siege turns up in winter and kills everyone else. At least my woodcutter killed five of the bastards!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hailthefish on July 17, 2010, 02:12:25 pm
Aborting the select-a-baron screen after trying for years to get one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dearnen on July 17, 2010, 06:27:07 pm
Not sure what was going through my mind when I embarked on fort #2 with no axes.  Worse yet, I had my carpenter turn my wagon into beds before I realized none of the trees were being cut down, so I had to wait for a caravan to bring either an axe or at least some wood to make a training axe.  First caravan failed to bring either.  (It would be nice if a stonecrafter could make a stone axe.)

In the end, though, the fortress fell for an entirely different facepalm inducing foolishness on my part.  I built a drawbridge, but it wasn't until the first goblin ambush that I realized I hadn't built a lever for it...I hadn't even built a mechanics workshop (so no traps either).  My poorly trained soldiers gave their lives successfully defending Fort Door-Wide-Open.  The goblins attacked again before I had a lever attached to the bridge, thus causing the loss of a lot more dwarves, leaving only 6 survivors, 3 of whom succumbed to their wounds/thirst.  The last three dwarves were able to get the lever in place and working, but to no avail.  The final ambush was right at the gate with the doctor being slaughtered as he ran for safety.  With the goblins inside the fort before the switch could be thrown, the last two dwarves made their final stand in the great dining hall, booze in one hand, axe in the other.

Alas, the fort was in a great location and only fell because of my own foolishness.  I may reclaim it someday.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hailthefish on July 17, 2010, 06:55:54 pm
I had that lever-bridge problem happen twice in the same fort. Luckily, the double thick line of cage traps all the way around the bridge and the nine stonefall traps in my doorway saved the day.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rickvoid on July 17, 2010, 07:58:48 pm
Um, to the guy who embarked with no axe. You can make a wooden training one, with the wood from the wagon. It will fell trees.

No, it does not make sense.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Twobeard on July 17, 2010, 08:20:33 pm
He knew about training axes, but couldnt make one because he had already made beds out of the wagon wood. Lol at that. It happens to all of us ocassionally. Its funny  i have never in the 2 years of playing this game relied on drawbridges. Constructions yes, traps. dear gods yes. But never built me a bridge or atom smasher. Never seemed to need it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tenth Speed Writer on July 17, 2010, 09:15:06 pm
Tenthspeed McWriter cancels Construct Epicfort: House struck by lightning.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ungulateman on July 18, 2010, 06:27:40 am
Quote from: Tenth Speed Writer on July 17, 2010, 09:15:06 pm
Tenthspeed McWriter cancels Construct Epicfort: House struck by lightning.

And it didn't hit your lightning attracter, thus supercharging your PC? For shame, every DF player has a system for that!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Medicine Man on July 18, 2010, 06:41:56 am
Quote from: ungulateman on July 18, 2010, 06:27:40 am
Quote from: Tenth Speed Writer on July 17, 2010, 09:15:06 pm
Tenthspeed McWriter cancels Construct Epicfort: House struck by lightning.

And it didn't hit your lightning attracter, thus supercharging your PC? For shame, every DF player has a system for that!
No they don't!we have magma generated super overclockers
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Twobeard on July 18, 2010, 07:13:00 am
Turnin a screw pump on manual and forgetting that i left the labour on. It flooded only about a quarter of my fort. But it spread deadly blood everywhere. Killed a dozen dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Johuotar on July 18, 2010, 07:21:40 am
I have created lots and lots of stuff to trade and I have always offred it instead of trading.
I haven't noticed the difference between "offer" and "trade" before my current fort...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Twobeard on July 18, 2010, 07:29:52 am
Wait. How did you end up with any merchants goods then if you kept giving away your goods?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Medicine Man on July 18, 2010, 07:45:54 am
My facepalm was building an impalement pit for useless migrants and nobles,a dwarf tantrumed on there and broke it,then another dwarf tantrumed and broke it a few turns after,it happened about 3 more times then I just decided to impale all tantruming dwarfs,and then a fire started somehow and killed 70% of my dwarfs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Johuotar on July 18, 2010, 02:24:04 pm
Quote from: Twobeard on July 18, 2010, 07:29:52 am
Wait. How did you end up with any merchants goods then if you kept giving away your goods?

I did not. I usually bought more food/booze/picks/battleaxes and I never bothered to chech if I actually got more of them. I once deconstructed the depot to steal the goods thought, but that was because offering wooden item had pissed off the elf merchant.

EDIT: Oh wait a new one, I ordered dorfs to createa roof to my ballista tower but i managed to trap them to the roof with no way down. There were 2 of them and I didn't notice anything before the other one died. The other tantrumed right after getting down with help of other dorfs. And he was one of the few to be assigned weapon and armor. (militia commander actually with legendatry weapon skill...)

You can quess what happened. More fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: antymattar on July 18, 2010, 02:27:53 pm
I found a cavern and dug out the support to make my u/p stairs. the whole MAP almost collapsed!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xtank5 on July 18, 2010, 02:31:55 pm
Quote from: antymattar on July 18, 2010, 02:27:53 pm
I found a cavern and dug out the support to make my u/p stairs. the whole MAP almost collapsed!!!
Awesome.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SeveQ on July 18, 2010, 02:46:58 pm
Okay, now I have something to add to this. :) My dwarves embarked in a place with a river head in a valley. I ordered the miner to dig out a large square in the valley to make home there, relatively safe from evil thieves and snatchers. After some time of digging there was a cave-in which knocked McMiner unconscious and made him fall into the river. There he drowned. *head->desk*

Has been the shortest fortress game I've ever played. No more than 5 minutes or something... :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xionis on July 18, 2010, 05:24:11 pm
I set up an intricate multi-level GAWRDS (Goblin Armor and Weaponry Reclamation/Disposal System) facility complete with drowning chambers (for Goblin Disposal) pump stacks (to allow for Post-Goblin Disposal Goblin Armor and Weaponry Reclamation), and even a pleasant statue garden to remind my executioners of the lighter side of life.  All was ready and set, I had tapped the nearby brook for water to fill my chambers, and ensured the floodgates were closed to prevent any UFEs (Unplanned Flooding Events).  I brought my first vic--Disposal Unit down to the first chamber, a goblin maceman who had attempted an ambush on some of my dwarves a season or two ago.  Locked him in...closed the floodgate sealing his drowning chamber.  A dwarf gleefully pulled the "Dispose" Lever and several hundred gallons of Dwarf Approved Goblin Disposal Fluid 2 (water, I'm sure you know what Fluid 1 is) proved once again that goblins are not adapted for life underwater.  Reversing the Dispose lever, the dwarf then scooted around the corner to begin pumping the Disposal Fluid back into the above chamber.

And nothing happens....

My gorgeous facility, brought to it's knees on it's maiden run by the fact that some Dwarf had somehow been told to construct the pumpstack....backwards....
A hasty retooling and GAWRDS was back online...but it was truly a /facepalm for me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bremarv on July 19, 2010, 04:51:14 am
Had been playing with some levers and mechanisms without really knowing much about them, like that doors connected to a lever cant be opened without pulling the lever. In retrospective it do make sense. Now I just need to get "Died for science" engraved on Urist McFarmers tomb.

Also tried starting on my underground tree farm, but thougth my dwarfs was using too long to make pump materials and mechanisms, so I went ahead and redirected brook into the tree room without it since it was on the same z-level so it would just run back out into the brook. Now that the room is nice and muddy I try to find the lever to stop the water and I remember I was going to use the mechanisms with floodgates to stop the water.

/facepalm

at least now I got a reason to start project drowning chamber.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bluefox on July 19, 2010, 01:02:32 pm
After finding magma and the third cavern, I decided to move my entire fortress down to between those two levels. My worldgen has approximately 20 levels between features, giving me plenty of room.

So everything moved down - stockpiles, meeting zones, everything. The last step was to irrigate the new farms.

I got a new lesson in water pressure.

I tapped the cavern lake from underneath, as I figured the pressure would help fill up my reservoir quickly so I could resume operations with minimal downtime. Oh, it filled up quickly, alright.

I took a lot of precautions: I had multiple doors, an airlock system, and I even modded dwarves to have a speed of ten so I wouldn't lose this particular miner. But as soon as the cavern water was breached - woooosh!

I had to savescum just to see what happened, it moved so fast. First frame, miner breaches the wall. Second frame, water rushes in, the dwarf barely managing to stay ahead of the flow. Fifth frame, dwarf makes it to the first door, 7/7 water directly behind him. Sixth frame, dwarf opens the door. Seventh frame - the door's still open? Eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh - door's still open, water rushing through. After a long, long while, the door finally shuts, but not before half the cavern water has found a new home in my fortress, having followed the dwarf to the bottom.

The whole fortress drowned.

Next time? I'm using a sacrificial miner dwarf, and I'm walling that sucker in.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Alkyon on July 19, 2010, 02:59:12 pm
Dwarf digs his way down to a convenient magma shaft so I can create an above-ground magma smelter area in my future dwarf tower.  I then designate a series of up/down stairways so he can get out.  Halfway he stops and goes "on break".  Now he's slowly dying of thirst because he can't be arsed to dig his way up, and the other dwarf can't be arsed to dig down to him (also on break).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lawec on July 19, 2010, 06:40:03 pm
Quote from: Alkyon on July 19, 2010, 02:59:12 pm
Dwarf digs his way down to a convenient magma shaft so I can create an above-ground magma smelter area in my future dwarf tower.  I then designate a series of up/down stairways so he can get out.  Halfway he stops and goes "on break".  Now he's slowly dying of thirst because he can't be arsed to dig his way up, and the other dwarf can't be arsed to dig down to him (also on break).

A break is a break, man. These dwarves work hard you know, so they deserve their breaks even if it means death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: eclipsetail on July 19, 2010, 07:07:22 pm
Quote from: Alkyon on July 19, 2010, 02:59:12 pm
Dwarf digs his way down to a convenient magma shaft so I can create an above-ground magma smelter area in my future dwarf tower.  I then designate a series of up/down stairways so he can get out.  Halfway he stops and goes "on break".  Now he's slowly dying of thirst because he can't be arsed to dig his way up, and the other dwarf can't be arsed to dig down to him (also on break).

That's gonna be a pretty long break.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: elizar on July 19, 2010, 11:29:15 pm
I haven't played in a long time. So I downloaded 40d (I suck at playing any games, FBs would kill me) and prepared for a challenge not listed in the wiki. All men in military and all females mine/farm/cook/administrate/nobels with exception of consorts. After I finally got 6-F/1-M setup, I distributed my points and whatnot.

And had only brought with me plump helmets for eating. I forgot 'all 2p meat for barrel' trick, failing to realize additional plants would make varied booze to keep up happyness, no animals (a lot of plump helmets).

And I then embarked. Upon a cave. With a named Giant Desert Scorpion. Who shortly after gained a title.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kamudo on July 19, 2010, 11:38:10 pm
Okay, so I just started a fort. bout 50% of it is a giant river system, covered with murky pools. Luckily, it was all frozen, since it was a freezing biome, afterall. So I get to work, trying to dam the river up, and then the entire river unthaws and kills 6 of my dwarves, the wagon, most of the supplies, and most of the animals.

Luckily, the Trader was off doing something else, so he survived, with a few barrels of food and a battle axe.

This is going to be fun. :3
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beardless on July 20, 2010, 12:47:00 am
I'm busy upgrading my main entrance from green to clear glass. This is slightly complicated by the fact that said entrance is punched through an aquifer. I've got the pumps roaring, but for aesthetic reasons, they don't have complete coverage. No matter, it'll all happen eventually. After the first segment of retaining wall comes down, some idiot woodcutter gets the bright idea to take down her segment from the wet side.

Naturally, she has to cancel almost immediately, and decides to take a nap. Right there. In the mud. The same spot where the water was too deep to work in. Right beneath a bank of screw pumps roaring away at full power.

I really don't know what to say.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hailthefish on July 20, 2010, 01:38:50 am
Anybody ever notice that the broker always gets hungry, thirsty, tired, and needs a break RIGHT WHEN a vital caravan shows up?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BlackRogue on July 20, 2010, 01:44:47 am
Of course, and all at the same time too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Epacsten on July 20, 2010, 02:12:14 am
I try to have more than one dwarf with the appraisal skill so I can appoint someone else when that inevitably happens.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NightmareBros on July 20, 2010, 03:26:59 am
One of my dwarves just died of thirst.
In the middle of the biggest party my fortress has thrown since the last party.
Said party has now turned into a gigantic fistfight. Tantruming legendary wrestler FTW.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kaijyuu on July 20, 2010, 05:56:23 am
Suddenly, my fortress was filling with water. Odd, since my irrigation system was long sealed off. All I have is this indoor waterfall that drains into a cavern...


Oh.... It seems a tree grew in my drainage pipe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: fanatic on July 20, 2010, 10:26:31 am
Quote from: hailthefish on July 20, 2010, 01:38:50 am
Anybody ever notice that the broker always gets hungry, thirsty, tired, and needs a break ON HIS WAY TO THE DEPOT , RIGHT WHEN a vital caravan shows up?

Yes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: einstein9073 on July 20, 2010, 01:27:47 pm
Quote from: kaijyuu on July 20, 2010, 05:56:23 am
Suddenly, my fortress was filling with water. Odd, since my irrigation system was long sealed off. All I have is this indoor waterfall that drains into a cavern...
Oh.... It seems a tree grew in my drainage pipe.
I had this problem in the fill pipe for my cistern. *facedesk*
Opened it back up, built a road, closed it off again...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bralbaard on July 20, 2010, 03:21:10 pm
My current fortress, randomly but aptly named Woundcolored, has had its share of problems with skeletal elephants ever since it was founded. I thought I finally had found the solution.

Piece of advice: never try to kill skeletal elephants with lava, just don't.
I now have a herd of burning skelephants stampeding through my fortress, spreading fire. It just doesn't seem to kill them. I had nice studded iron doors to keep the pachiderms out to, but found out too late that they are blocked by rubbish.

Edit: One of the skeletal elephants actually had severe battle wounds before being set on fire, it misses three legs, and is dragging itself along by its trunk, burning everything in its path. It's quite horrible to watch.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Libelnon on July 20, 2010, 05:40:35 pm
Quote from: Bralbaard on July 20, 2010, 03:21:10 pm
My current fortress, randomly but aptly named Woundcolored, has had its share of problems with skeletal elephants ever since it was founded. I thought I finally had found the solution.

Piece of advice: never try to kill skeletal elephants with lava, just don't.
I now have a herd of burning skelephants stampeding through my fortress, spreading fire. It just doesn't seem to kill them. I had nice studded iron doors to keep the pachiderms out to, but found out too late that they are blocked by rubbish.

Edit: One of the skeletal elephants actually had severe battle wounds before being set on fire, it misses three legs, and is dragging itself along by its trunk, burning everything in its path. It's quite horrible to watch.

I actually rofled.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: majikero on July 20, 2010, 06:09:05 pm
I built a nice fort on ice. Carved out rooms, some nice large warehouse, a farm under a aquificer near the taiga. Now all I need are weapons so I dig for iron, after several z-levels and 2 caverns I realize there's no iron or flux, how am I suppose to fight with copper? I abandoned and looked at the site, there's no sedimentary layers. All that work for nothing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tenth Speed Writer on July 20, 2010, 07:41:31 pm
My best mason stonewalled </pun> my efforts to create a Hall of Historic Dwarven Badassery by creating a chain of statues depicting my mayor and her favorite things. He did, though, redeem himself by later finishing a =Statue= of said mayor terrified and surrounded by cave spiders. >:D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Falconer Lombard on July 20, 2010, 10:13:53 pm
I decided to remove the fps cap on my fort just to see what it could do. Bad move, my fps rocketed up to 300,000+ when I was irrigating the farms. The water filled the fort before I could get to the lever.

Guess I better put the cap back on.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Teh_Havvers on July 21, 2010, 04:49:35 am
Okay, what was originally a minor facepalm has turned into a full on headdesk.

So I want to get at a piece of wood that's fallen into a murky pool, since my current megaproject requires lots of wood and I'm trying to salvage every piece of the stuff I can get my hands on.

Now, said murky pool is just one mined tile away from my depot drowning trap. I bust open the pool and watch in horror as my perfectly serviceable trap is completely flooded over by an aquifer that had been cleverly hiding in plain sight. My "plan" and I use the word plan here generously, is to rescue the depot trap by damming over the aquifer with lava. It works well enough, but I decide the lava isn't draining fast enough so I can recover the land for other uses, so I order one of my dwarves to tear open a hole in the wall to speed things up. Said dwarf decided he WASN'T going to try to run away from the red-hot death liquid. Said dwarf was also my legendary gem cutter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McTaverish on July 21, 2010, 07:01:59 am
Digging a channel up a mountain in such a way that all my miners were caught in a cave-in.  Some died, all the others were too injured to continue, and I didn't have an infirmary set up yet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: eclipsetail on July 21, 2010, 08:31:45 am
Blocking off a dragon using a wall.

Realising too late it was made of wood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on July 21, 2010, 08:44:01 am
Are there now differences in what material a construction is made from?  :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Funtimes on July 21, 2010, 10:01:17 am
Not once construction is finished, but they're vulnerable while being put up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendus on July 21, 2010, 10:09:53 am
Quote from: Falconer Lombard on July 20, 2010, 10:13:53 pm
I decided to remove the fps cap on my fort just to see what it could do. Bad move, my fps rocketed up to 300,000+ when I was irrigating the farms. The water filled the fort before I could get to the lever.

Guess I better put the cap back on.

Holy crap, what kind of computer are you playing on?

An older one from 40d. At one point while playing dig deeper I decided to make a megatrap. I took an entire floor of my 31x31 tower and filled it with glass spikes. Of course, the first time I turned it on one of my soldiers decides to walk through it in order to reach the orcs charging through. I turn it off and he crawls out, not really a huge facepalm. He has red wounds on his legs, but he recovered three seasons later so it wasn't too bad. Meanwhile, the orcs are about halfway through the path before I can turn the spikes back on. It works like a charm, aside from a few lulls where the puller got tired and it randomly chose the dwarf on the other side of the fortress to pull the lever, it killed them all.

The facepalm? Mixed among the orc soldier corpses and orcanite steel ore, I found the corpses of three goblin snatchers and two kobold thieves. Very fun.

Another time I had some imps that liked to torch the left half of my map. Luckily, it was bisected by a brook, so the fire couldn't come across... or so I thought. Turns out, in order to power the drainage pumps for my drowning trap I had put this nice path across the brook of wooden axles and waterwheels. Oops.

Edit: current facepalm, was waiting for my dwarves to dig into some coal in a white layer. I didn't realize the mountain I'm on is made of both chalk and marble. Looks like I gotta dig up to make steel, but on the bright side there's a lot of sphalerite in the lower slate layers. Brass makes great trade goods and furniture for lesser nobles.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: eclipsetail on July 21, 2010, 10:20:35 am
Quote from: Grendus on July 21, 2010, 10:09:53 am
Quote from: Falconer Lombard on July 20, 2010, 10:13:53 pm
I decided to remove the fps cap on my fort just to see what it could do. Bad move, my fps rocketed up to 300,000+ when I was irrigating the farms. The water filled the fort before I could get to the lever.

Guess I better put the cap back on.

Holy crap, what kind of computer are you playing on?

Chuck Norris's
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Diablous on July 21, 2010, 10:23:13 am
Quote from: Grendus on July 21, 2010, 10:09:53 am
Quote from: Falconer Lombard on July 20, 2010, 10:13:53 pm
I decided to remove the fps cap on my fort just to see what it could do. Bad move, my fps rocketed up to 300,000+ when I was irrigating the farms. The water filled the fort before I could get to the lever.

Guess I better put the cap back on.

Holy crap, what kind of computer are you playing on?

His processor is made out of the brain of a god.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: eclipsetail on July 21, 2010, 10:26:47 am
Quote from: Diablous on July 21, 2010, 10:23:13 am
Quote from: Grendus on July 21, 2010, 10:09:53 am
Quote from: Falconer Lombard on July 20, 2010, 10:13:53 pm
I decided to remove the fps cap on my fort just to see what it could do. Bad move, my fps rocketed up to 300,000+ when I was irrigating the farms. The water filled the fort before I could get to the lever.

Guess I better put the cap back on.

Holy crap, what kind of computer are you playing on?

His processor is made out of the brain of a god.

That's what I said.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on July 21, 2010, 11:56:36 am
Quote from: Grendus on July 21, 2010, 10:09:53 am
Quote from: Falconer Lombard on July 20, 2010, 10:13:53 pm
I decided to remove the fps cap on my fort just to see what it could do. Bad move, my fps rocketed up to 300,000+ when I was irrigating the farms. The water filled the fort before I could get to the lever.

Guess I better put the cap back on.

Holy crap, what kind of computer are you playing on?

He's playing on a server with 16 CPU slots and 2 TB RAM
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: happydog23 on July 21, 2010, 11:59:00 am
Quote from: Spectre on July 21, 2010, 11:56:36 am
Quote from: Grendus on July 21, 2010, 10:09:53 am
Quote from: Falconer Lombard on July 20, 2010, 10:13:53 pm
I decided to remove the fps cap on my fort just to see what it could do. Bad move, my fps rocketed up to 300,000+ when I was irrigating the farms. The water filled the fort before I could get to the lever.

Guess I better put the cap back on.

Holy crap, what kind of computer are you playing on?

He's playing on a server with 16 CPU slots and 2 TB RAM

I want a 16 CPU slot 2TB RAM machine that has amazing single threaded performance for DF.  It may make the other 31 - 95 cores jealous though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendus on July 21, 2010, 12:03:28 pm
Quote from: Spectre on July 21, 2010, 11:56:36 am
Quote from: Grendus on July 21, 2010, 10:09:53 am
Quote from: Falconer Lombard on July 20, 2010, 10:13:53 pm
I decided to remove the fps cap on my fort just to see what it could do. Bad move, my fps rocketed up to 300,000+ when I was irrigating the farms. The water filled the fort before I could get to the lever.

Guess I better put the cap back on.

Holy crap, what kind of computer are you playing on?

He's playing on a server with 16 CPU slots and 2 TB RAM

Very useful for a single threaded game.

More likely, he's using something like an Intel i5/i7 with 4-8gb ram, possibly overclocked with an early fort on a small map.

Which is still impressive, considering on a dual 2.2 ghz I barely get 150 fps on embark.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NightmareBros on July 21, 2010, 01:12:27 pm
Oh god quick check and make sure your computer isn't a cosmc horror in disguise or something
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Daetrin on July 21, 2010, 06:07:26 pm
Nyarlohotep has been content recently. He has played a game of dwarf fortress recently.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkwolf on July 21, 2010, 08:12:40 pm
Cthulhu cancels Play Dwarf Fortress: Gone insane.

It had to be said.  ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Svampapa on July 22, 2010, 12:30:41 am
Having dug the most impressive entrance I've had so far, half a mountain of sand and silt removed, I decide I want the stockpiles in the silty clay above. Less stone to haul and all that. So I construct my self a stair and designate a downstair... and puncture the aquifier. The most awesomest entrance I ever did is now the most awesomest pool I ever did.

Facepalm, re-embark, do it all over again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Terv on July 22, 2010, 12:41:45 am
I was playing yesterday, putting a few finishing touches on some projects when I got the announcement that my legendary hunter of 3-4 years had bled to death. This woman had killed a massive amount of wolves, some cougars and various underground fauna. Finally, the badass hunter, Lilly, had her arm torn from her body by a jabberer and bled to death seconds later. My Fort Guard quickly dispatched the beast. I facepalmed when she died because she came in the second migrant wave and had since then provided our fortress with massive amounts of food. I didn't think to get another hunter. I quickly got an unskilled trapper to take her position. She was buried in a tomb adorned in engravings and silver statues. Since then, however, our meat supply has fallen due to the new hunter's lack of skill.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Artanis00 on July 22, 2010, 04:09:59 am
Built a pump stack down into the cavern lakes. For giggles, didn't even line it up with the walls of the cavern. I just constructed the remaining three levels--floating the intake of the stack right at the surface.

Got everything set up, windmill power ready at the pull of a lever, emergency drainage ready to go.

Pull the lever.

Pumps start moving.

...

No water?

Pumps are all lined up right. Run down to the bottom, also no water.

Look at the intake--Open Space, Water 7/7--good. 

Drop down a level--Water 7/7, Muddy Blood thorn. Why is there a tree... in the LAKE. /wallbanger
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AngleWyrm on July 22, 2010, 07:39:24 am
Fairly good embark; lots of trees, dolomite 2-z down, a river -- oh look an alligator swimming under the river, I'll have to be careful around him -- ponds just the right size to irrigate my standard farming area.

Ok, you three get started digging out the entrance. Woodsman, take down this patch of trees; and farmer, clear out the edibles from the same patch. Once I get the long hallway dug out, we're gonna plan a hospital with a collapsible roof one floor down. Then we can--

Urist McFarmer has been struck down.
Torn in half by an alligator.
Ten minutes, tops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Organum on July 22, 2010, 12:50:47 pm
I just found out that goblins aren't as extinct as I'd thought they were. With no military, no traps, and my iron bridge not linked up to a lever, I think it's fair to say the fort will have some issues with repelling these invaders.

EDIT: I have some War Elephants chained up next to my bridge.. Hopefully this won't end too terribly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lupusater on July 22, 2010, 04:08:42 pm
Making an alert that forces the entire civilian population in a burrow in the deepest cave... and declaring it when a FB spawns in that same cave. Luckily, I lost only 2 dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on July 23, 2010, 01:43:25 pm
Atom smasher for the destruction of invader clothing.  (All greenskin clothing bust be purged in holy fire in a magma smelter or purified via atomsmashing before use.  It is unclean.)  Since I had a map that freezes I decided to go the nonsensical way and build the entire thing out of ice instead of bronze or iron.  The atom smasher is constructed and is fully functional.

Unfortunately summer comes.  And while the main structure is made of ice, it is a construction and does not melt.  The bridge however does, and I hadn't activated the smashing in awhile.

I am now watching as my architect removes every piece of trash one at a time from the compactor so he can build a new (stone) bridge where the ice one was.  The compactor was full of more than 12 pages of junk.

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: timtek on July 23, 2010, 04:02:39 pm
In honor of .11 i decided to start a new fortress. I set it all up, picked a nice spot by the river, huh, seems to be frozen. Strange. Well no matter lets just put the wagon and supplies right on the ice. Hey fisherdwarf stand there and watch the stuff. *unpause* River suddenly thaws... Your fisherdwarf has drowned. Lol, day one? not so good... :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: azmodean on July 23, 2010, 05:09:21 pm
After my second fortress got to a reasonably stable level (first was overrun by goblins because I wasn't able to sort out getting my militia armed and armored), but started slowing down a bit (old laptop), I decided to challenge myself by embarking on tundra with an aquifer... with a default group...
Ok, so it looks like I have what I need reasonably.  I strike the earth, start hollowing out some rooms, everywhere is sand and silt, well I figure I'll get to some rock eventually...
three levels down I hit damp silt.  I've read the stories, so I got a sinking sensation right there.  Checked a few other places, and yea, damp silt clear across the map.  I take stock of my resources... 2 picks, 2 axes (hah), booze, food, cloth, thread... no construction materials...  no wait!  I have the logs in the wagon!  So I deconstruct the wagon, and I have three logs, just enough to build a pump... no wait, need one more for a workshop, crap.  (read about it later and one pump wouldn't have done it anyway).  So I run off to the wiki, ok if I expose it to open air it'll freeze and I can get down there, awesome.  Start digging, get confused and abandon one dig because I screwed up some designations, second try works smoothly.  Once I start digging in the aquifer I notice I seem to be getting open space instead of ice walls.  I check the wiki again, it's bugged and I can just build wood floors over them and remove, then there will be wall I can dig into, I continue digging, then get the messages:
Urist McMiner Entombed in Ice
Urist McOtherminer Entombed in Ice
*Facepalm* they channeled under their feet, well their sacrifice won't be in vain, the floor is channeled out at least.  I build/remove the floor, reverting the open space to ice walls, then assign another dwarf to mining to dig out a stairwell so I can get under the aquifer...
Nobody is doing anything, the dwarf doesn't have a pick... Both my picks are encased in ice... @#*MEGAFACEPALM*#@

Now we'll see if my dwarves can survive until a caravan arrives and sell everything they have (like the crappy axes) for a pick, and continue onward.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Twobeard on July 23, 2010, 09:15:58 pm
Realising after more than 2 years of playing this game that you can hotkey locations. Armok bugger me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SethCreiyd on July 23, 2010, 10:56:29 pm
I am currently facepalming while half the fort is resting in bed with numb feet from the forgotten beast extract that's been splashed all over the entrance by the flood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Twobeard on July 24, 2010, 12:07:52 am
Quote from: SethCreiyd on July 23, 2010, 10:56:29 pm
I am currently facepalming while half the fort is resting in bed with numb feet from the forgotten beast extract that's been splashed all over the entrance by the flood.

is that battlefailed or one of your own?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TBot Alpha on July 26, 2010, 08:11:38 am
Had two dorfs die of thirst in an above-ground tower I made. Eventually I realised that I had made them build a door over empty space, so while it looked like the dorfs could easily get out of the tower, they couldn't actually pass through the door.

Their skeletons were in that tower for about 5 years before I realised my mistake.

Had one dorf die of thirst and another come close by sticking them in tower with up/down staircases, but neglected to ensure that the stairs on the floor below actually led up as well.

Oh the joys of above-ground building.  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Twobeard on July 26, 2010, 08:46:38 am
Quote from: TBot Alpha on July 26, 2010, 08:11:38 am
Had two dorfs die of thirst in an above-ground tower I made. Eventually I realised that I had made them build a door over empty space, so while it looked like the dorfs could easily get out of the tower, they couldn't actually pass through the door.

Their skeletons were in that tower for about 5 years before I realised my mistake.

Had one dorf die of thirst and another come close by sticking them in tower with up/down staircases, but neglected to ensure that the stairs on the floor below actually led up as well.

Oh the joys of above-ground building.  ::)

Hahaha i had a similar problem except in reverse. Every now and then i accidently bugger up down/up starcases mining. Stranding my miners in strange and deadly locations and only realising it when they are hunting vermin. Of course i once constructed a guy onto the top of a wall... Right in time for goblin bowmen to turn up and use him as target practice.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: stormyseasons on July 26, 2010, 09:26:11 am
Digging a mine shaft right down to the bottom of the map, looking for the magma sea and not finding it. On several levels above bottom as well as bottommost. Panicked and used dfhack to reveal map temporarily to check if there was any magma at all. Realised that the magma sea was still there, right above the last layer I checked. Realised that I'd set worldgen options to add 2 levels at bottom - after turning off the SPECIAL layer. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McTaverish on July 26, 2010, 11:14:56 am
Nearly flooded the lower levels of my fortress trying to set up a farm.  I had carefully dug out where I wanted to farm and even set up a floodgate system BEFORE I channeled through the wall keeping the brook in.  Channel through the wall... Floodgates didn't work like I wanted.  I had linked the floodgates to the same lever, thinking that when one raised the other would lower.  Nope, one raised and then they both were raised.  The water came in a lot faster than I expected, flooding right up the hallway and straight into my lower levels, where I was mining silver.  Luckily no one was there, and a quick lever pull stopped the water.  still took me a lot longer to get my farm set up, and we're not out of booze because the caravan had some barrels and we traded for silver.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cheese on July 26, 2010, 01:10:56 pm
I needed engravers, metalsmiths and various other things. I got a 22 dorf migrant wave, almost everyone was a clothier or milker.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haspen on July 26, 2010, 01:35:30 pm
Quote from: Cheese on July 26, 2010, 01:10:56 pm
I needed engravers, metalsmiths and various other things. I got a 22 dorf migrant wave, almost everyone was a clothier or milker.

If you are in 0.31 versions, check their skills.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cheese on July 26, 2010, 02:16:15 pm
Quote from: Haspen on July 26, 2010, 01:35:30 pm
Quote from: Cheese on July 26, 2010, 01:10:56 pm
I needed engravers, metalsmiths and various other things. I got a 22 dorf migrant wave, almost everyone was a clothier or milker.

If you are in 0.31 versions, check their skills.
I use DTherapist, I know what they were. Does the game give a higher chance of getting useless migrants?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: monkeyfetus on July 26, 2010, 03:17:29 pm
Migrants on the whole are much more useful than they were in 40d, provided you're willing to process them with dwarf therapist and sort out which ones have useful skills. The rest can be haulers or begin military training. That said, it's pretty much random what skills they might have, so you're bound to get unlucky sometime. If you need the professions enough you can always start with an unskilled dwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: devek on July 26, 2010, 04:32:39 pm
3rd time in a row to embark without seeds... I'll remember the next time I swear!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Taco Dan on July 26, 2010, 04:34:00 pm
Just give the useless dwarves the jobs that you need. Sure they're going to be slow at first, but after a year or so, they'll be awesome at it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: flatlander on July 26, 2010, 08:55:26 pm
Decided to up the difficulty a bit... embarked in a haunted jungle/swamp. I gave everyone ambush and set up a squad. I took one pick and the materials to make weapons. Designated a burrow... assigned someone to mine out the ramps and cut a moat so nothing could get at the caravan...

Four dwarfs later after several skeletal croc attacks I realized if everyone is set to ambush; no one will pick up a pick... ouch.

<edit>Oh I forgot to mention I forgot to take stone for the smelter/forges... I was feeling desperate for that miner to do their work </cry></edit>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samohan25 on July 27, 2010, 01:02:36 pm
Embarked in a new world, built up a fortress complete with resivoir, farm, several other features and then started wondering why there were no caravans, immigrants or other races. Turns out that all the dwarves were dead; No important leaders and no chance of any more than 18 dwarves.

/facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: timtek on July 27, 2010, 02:55:47 pm
Quote from: Samohan25 on July 27, 2010, 01:02:36 pm
Embarked in a new world, built up a fortress complete with resivoir, farm, several other features and then started wondering why there were no caravans, immigrants or other races. Turns out that all the dwarves were dead; No important leaders and no chance of any more than 18 dwarves.

/facepalm

It's up to you now, you must repopulate the dwarven race! Build a bed, get some beer, and go to work!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FacePalm on July 27, 2010, 05:07:42 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

/facepalm  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: monkeyfetus on July 27, 2010, 05:22:59 pm
Was that guy killed by the marmot?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FacePalm on July 27, 2010, 05:38:04 pm
No he was struck down by fire imps and this was like the third season v.v And right now there all throwing tantrums except one of my miners :/ and now they need buckets. . . /facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rocknose on July 28, 2010, 11:15:09 am
Constructed a cistern and buckets, started the bucket brigade to fill it up. While they were filling it, I got a well set up, so the nurses could get water from the cistern without wandering all the way outside while the patients died of thirst. As soon as the well was finished, all the bucket brigade dwarfs began filling their buckets from the well. I had 20 dwarves in a small room, taking water from a well and pouring it into a hole to fill the well.
I didn't realize it until a season later when I realized that the cistern wasn't getting any fuller.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mwanafalsafa on July 28, 2010, 02:27:53 pm
I just realized you could put finished goods in bins.

Now my stockpile of rock crafts for the caravans doesn't have to take up half my fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dearnen on July 28, 2010, 06:06:33 pm
I'm sure I'm not the first to do this:  To increase meat and bone supplies, as well as increase FPS, I set most of the animals to be slaughtered.  Sometime later I wondered why I hadn't been seeing any messages about animals being struck down.  Upon checking the list, I discovered that I had set them all to be adopted, which they had been.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jester on July 28, 2010, 11:15:38 pm
2D version:  hey look a big swarm of elves coming to my fort!  no, no, no, wait apparently the big E's can be too things, bye bye fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RiderofDark on July 29, 2010, 12:02:09 am
Hmm...I'm next to two major rivers and a lake. Need irrigation, what to do? How about digging right under the lake?

*one second later* WHOOOOOOOOOOOSH.

Irrigating with Lakes. What Fun!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Luraien on July 29, 2010, 08:55:10 am
I threw a donkey sceptre at a Dragon, making it vomit that much it stopped breathing fire.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Twobeard on July 29, 2010, 10:31:01 am
Quote from: Luraien on July 29, 2010, 08:55:10 am
I threw a donkey sceptre at a Dragon, making it vomit that much it stopped breathing fire.

How is that a facepalm? thats more like dwarf five material if you ask me. Fuck yeah vomit enducing scepter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Luraien on July 29, 2010, 10:33:38 am
Quote from: Twobeard on July 29, 2010, 10:31:01 am
Quote from: Luraien on July 29, 2010, 08:55:10 am
I threw a donkey sceptre at a Dragon, making it vomit that much it stopped breathing fire.

How is that a facepalm? thats more like dwarf five material if you ask me. Fuck yeah vomit enducing scepter.

haha, I felt sort of bad for expecting an epic battle but 'twas indeed an awesome moment nonetheless.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hokan on July 29, 2010, 11:37:43 am
Quote from: Luraien on July 29, 2010, 08:55:10 am
I threw a donkey sceptre at a Dragon, making it vomit that much it stopped breathing fire.
"BLARG I AM A DRAGON PREPARE TO DIE"
"Go go donkey scepter!"
*vomits*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CptFastbreak on July 29, 2010, 12:54:14 pm
My most recent facepalm was upon discovering that in 0.31.12, marksdwarves only shoot through fortifications if they're directly in front of it, combined with how the move order will make them move not directly to a square but somewhat close to it. I had built a shooting gallery with goblin ambushers as target practice who were frolicking on their pedestals while the marksdwarves were picking their noses behind the fortifications.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kronos on July 29, 2010, 01:40:39 pm
I usually run relatively safe forts (yeah, yeah) so I don't often have a reason to post here, but today I have had a... 'worthy' encounter with fun.

One of my four uninvited guests somehow managed to breach my primary mining shaft from the third cavern level and work his way up the inhabited part of my fort, where he proceeded to thrash a skill-less peasant. This had happened once before and I was pretty sure I had gotten all possible entry points (entry only seems possible if creatures can move diagonally through z-levels, and then only if they can fly. Which this one could... but then all the ones I've gotten could). Whatever the case, I wasn't very worried - It and all the other ones I've gotten so far were organic. I immediately recruited my entire fort and sent them after the beast.

what ensued was a massive dogpile in the only three squares adjacent to the beast (including the one it was standing on), followed shortly by its death. His death was followed shortly by the death of the peasant he was attacking, but this didn't worry me either as he was a newly arrived immigrant who hadn't had time to make friends. My only real concern was that his 'deadly blood' would melt my fort at some later date, but there wasn't really anything I could do about it - his blood was already covering a high-traffic zone. I could only hope it wasn't that particular toxin.

But it turned out doom was much closer at hand. Shortly after the death of the peasant, the one other wounded - a pet puppy - died. Once again, this didn't bother me; his owner was also a skill-less newly arrived dwarf with average strength. He immediately tantrumed - I ignored. That is, until me punched one of my two almighty champions in his iron-clad head, instantly killing him. What?

...I then savescummed. Yeah, it was kinda funny. Yes, I had a legendary dining room and good food and drink, and so it wasn't likely to mean the end of my 37-dwarf fort. I could have played it out. But I just don't like losing my dwarves. Especially the legendary champion of my original seven. Especially to a skill-less, strengthless newly arrived dwarf. In one punch. To an iron-clad head. Because he tantrumed. Because his puppy died. Immediately after said dwarf and many others slaughtered a forgotten beast.

It was funny. But it wasn't going to stick... though I suppose in hindsight I could've just sealed that peasant in a wall somewhere to reflect on what he had done until he dies of starvation.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bremarv on July 29, 2010, 03:49:09 pm
finally managed to hook some pumps up to some windmills today and learnt a few things.

1. pumps pump water really fast.
2. dwarfs drown really fast.
3. disconnecting the gear assembly is best done before building the last axel.

of course it had to be my primary mechanic with husband and child and not the new friendless mechanic who's only been hauling stuff so far.
Also: how did she manage to loose her upper body by drowning?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bronimin on July 29, 2010, 03:52:29 pm
-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Luraien on July 29, 2010, 06:12:01 pm
Quote from: Hokan on July 29, 2010, 11:37:43 am
Quote from: Luraien on July 29, 2010, 08:55:10 am
I threw a donkey sceptre at a Dragon, making it vomit that much it stopped breathing fire.
"BLARG I AM A DRAGON PREPARE TO DIE"
"Go go donkey scepter!"
*vomits*


Haha yeah, pretty much it! I felt bad lashing him to death as he sat there vomiting his guts up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derekristow on July 30, 2010, 03:08:43 am
A talented weaponsmith just got possessed, and it isn't even the end of the first fall.  The map has a volcano, so training a new one shouldn't be too bad, but it still feels like a waste.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torgan on July 30, 2010, 07:42:44 am
A dwarf being possessed doesn't mean you lose him, or did you miss something out from your post?  It means he will create an artifact of awesome if you have all the materials he requires (and the workshop he requires).

Check moods on the wiki to find out more - might be slightly spoilery.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on July 30, 2010, 08:25:55 am
But I is his first year. He dosnt have that much supplies yet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haspen on July 30, 2010, 09:12:35 am
Also, it's possession, so no legendary dwarf after.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ethereal.Frog on July 30, 2010, 05:04:03 pm
This fort was going really well in it's second year. No deaths, good trades etc.

I embarked without an anvil.

(I just realized my father civilization is dead.)

Maaaaaaan.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haspen on July 30, 2010, 05:05:17 pm
Quote from: Ethereal.Frog on July 30, 2010, 05:04:03 pm
This fort was going really well in it's second year. No deaths, good trades etc.

I embarked without an anvil.

(I just realized my father civilization is dead.)

Maaaaaaan.

Well there are still h00manz.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ethereal.Frog on July 30, 2010, 05:08:16 pm
None of them connected to my embark.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haspen on July 30, 2010, 05:08:42 pm
Quote from: Ethereal.Frog on July 30, 2010, 05:08:16 pm
None of them connected to my embark.

...

Maaaaaaaaaaan.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Twobeard on July 30, 2010, 05:09:51 pm
Thats hilarious. Wow. Sometimes it pays to take an anvil. Especially now that they are so much cheaper. I usually take one with me regardless.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lanceleoghauni on July 30, 2010, 09:30:50 pm
My isolationist dwarves have the same problem, we've lost the ability to work metal.

everything is wood and stone, though metal can be used for decoration and in artifacts. or used in constructions.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torgan on July 31, 2010, 04:52:53 am
Most of my military were slaughtered in the Growling Assault of 1054, leaving armour and weapons scattered aboveground, including my artifact adamantine high boot.  No problem think I, the remaining military will equip it.  That doesn't happen for a season so I manually give it to my newly promoted militia commander.  He then proceeds to drop all his military gear and reequip everything else first as it's closer.

Then the rhesus macaques show up.

The previous boot's owners war dog seems to be leashed to where his owner died but doesn't manage to fend off the monkeys, and my remaining military seem to think it's a better idea to keep picking up new equipment than go where I tell them. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ethereal.Frog on July 31, 2010, 03:38:15 pm
When I was tapping a river to flood my underground farms, I forget to close the floodgate back up. My farm ended up with solid 4/7s.

I carve out 2 10x10 rooms nearby, route the water in through the access corridor, blocking that off too.

It's at 2/7 accross all of it now.

I decided to unblock the access corridor, I'd rather have farming and a slightly wet bottom floor than not.

Now, on one side, I get a waterfall for a while. On the other, I think I might end up dropping a bit more water down there than I'd like.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tommy on July 31, 2010, 04:10:28 pm
Giving up on supplying a moody weaponsmith with his required metal bars because I forgot they came from a smelter, not a forge.

Realising my mistake the moment he went mad.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bigboss199 on July 31, 2010, 04:32:22 pm
Wasting metal training a Dwarf to High Master Armorer only to have him get a possession...



and then not being able to satisfy the possession because I used up all my adamantine
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: vlademir1 on July 31, 2010, 08:11:34 pm
Fortress running in 0.31.10 on processor 2:  My dwarves are ramp clearing my new wildlife-proof "aboveground" farms when a section of the cavern collapses where a tree grew while they were digging because I forgot to dirt road the area first... 3 dwarves dead including both my legendary miners.

Meanwhile...

Fortress running in 0.31.12 on processor 3:  My chief medical dwarf has died due to infection?  I check his thoughts and... he was injured while fighting?  I check combat reports and... he wrestled a mountain goat for a few seconds a season ago, then kept on with the other duties he was doing so I could set up my hospital.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on July 31, 2010, 08:37:10 pm
A doctor dying to an infection is really a facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Misterstone on August 01, 2010, 12:24:25 am
I had about 4 or 5 dwarves lying in beds after a horrible Forgotten Beast attack.  The the only doctor had a tantrum spiral and murdered 2 or 3 of them.  >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Medicine Man on August 01, 2010, 12:28:35 am
Quote from: Misterstone on August 01, 2010, 12:24:25 am
The the only doctor had a tantrum spiral and murdered 2 or 3 of them.  >:(
Lol at irony.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Misterstone on August 01, 2010, 12:43:28 am
I should mention, he was at their bedside when he tantrumed, that is why they died.  :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Medicine Man on August 01, 2010, 12:47:23 am
What a reliable doctor!My biggest facepalm moment was the first time I tried to make a magma forge,I mined into the side of a volcano and the flames engulfed all of my bearded alcholoics.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SmileyMan on August 01, 2010, 11:36:31 am
I've got a horrible image in my head now of a doctor who enters a tantrum in the middle of liver surgery!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McTaverish on August 01, 2010, 12:08:50 pm
Mining out a tunnel for my magma works.  I forgot to seal the exit.  Flooded the mountainside with magma.  Luckily my game crashed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tommy on August 01, 2010, 12:30:27 pm
On a similar note, my magma channels don't flow quite perfectly into the caverns I've dug from the top of the volcano, so the mountainside is very, very slowly flooding with magma.  At a rate of about 10 tiles a year.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NightmareBros on August 01, 2010, 12:45:52 pm
I did something similar with all the rivers near my fort. Every summer, a flash flood goes down the side of the mountain, off screen, and maybe kills people.
It certainly got a few goblin seiges earlier than expected, so I think I might have acciedentally flooded a goblin tower, per Year.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on August 01, 2010, 12:53:43 pm
Quote from: SmileyMan on August 01, 2010, 11:36:31 am
I've got a horrible image in my head now of a doctor who enters a tantrum in the middle of liver surgery!

Dr. U. Hopelessdoom: Nurse, scalpel please.
*Nurse Migrantsoaper hands the doctor a bucket*
Dr. U. Hopelessdoom: I am surrounded by idiots! This isn't a scalpel! This isn't even a knife! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!*snap*

Urist Hopelessdoom is tantrumming

*screaming* *sounds of ripping tissue mixed in with the occasional wet splorch of an organ striking a wall*

Dr Urist Hopelessdoom had become a Novice Thrower.
Dr Urist hopelessdoom has calmed down.
Kogan McAppendixpatient cancels live: Missing vital organs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ethereal.Frog on August 02, 2010, 12:58:17 am
So I was trying to irrigate my farm with a big murky pool from 5z up. I had a little hallway leading over to the place I want the water dropping in, then channeled straight down. The water goes through really slowly, I'm probably only gonna get about half of it muddied.

So I let it drip and move on to other stuff. A while later:

"Stray Kitten (Tame) has suffocated."

What? Zoom to location, please.

Cat is dead in my farm. What? Oh, splatter of blood at the point where the water drops in. Silly kitten, fell down the shaft and crushed its tiny kitten lungs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torgan on August 02, 2010, 07:21:21 am
My FPM was thinking that the hollow core of the blue metal tubes didn't curve as they passed through z-levels.  Cue flying beasts incinerating my miners then tearing apart Palacemine.  :'(

Next time it will be different!!!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: flatlander on August 02, 2010, 07:35:32 am
So... after many different deaths games I have finally figured out how to collapse a cavern section safely using supports. I just failed to notice:

Urist McMechanic makes masterwork gear.
Rigged up lever to collapse a support...
*whomp* ... large block of dirt/rock crush support and gear.
Urist McMechanic is offended by destruction of art.

She wiggs out.
Strangles a cat.
Urist McWoodcutter decides to put a battleaxe in her head.

So it is about par for the course... a dead dwarf and a dead cat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thadius on August 02, 2010, 12:18:03 pm
I joined bay12 forums.

I kid, I kid.  Naw, the only face palm moment in my (current) fort has to have been trying to run an indoor waterfall into the dining room.  I kinda forgot how channels work now.  Nearly lost a miner to my own stupidity and his own laziness to pick up his pick and dig those last hundred feet to freedom.  He was 'on break.'  While starving.  And dying of thirst.

I very nearly inaugurated my indoor waterfall the traditional way with the bodies of one of the Original Seven, but luckily one of the other miners could hear the screams behind the dirt wall.  I imagine it was like 'The cask of Amontillado' but in reverse.  I should name one of them Montressor.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on August 02, 2010, 12:22:53 pm
Now I have to name my starting mason Montressor for all of eternity.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: azmodean on August 02, 2010, 02:23:02 pm
Quote from: Misterstone on August 01, 2010, 12:24:25 am
I had about 4 or 5 dwarves lying in beds after a horrible Forgotten Beast attack.  The the only doctor had a tantrum spiral and murdered 2 or 3 of them.  >:(

Uugh, trying to make it out of a tantrum/infection spiral after taking down a (flying, doh) forgotten beast with rot-causing breath.  The mayor keeps tantruming while in meetings with upset dwarves and punching them in the face.  Well he did until that meeting with the off-duty hammerdwarf anyway, now he's in the hospital too...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on August 02, 2010, 03:07:47 pm
How silly. To punch an angry hammerdwarf in the face.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beardless on August 02, 2010, 03:10:58 pm
So I was making another stab at replacing the green glass walls holding back the aquifer with clear glass. (I lost the first attempt to a .10 military crash.) Here's a blueprint:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The stairs are the only entrance to what will eventually be my main fort, and currently my only source of stone, and indeed ANY building materials. (I embarked on a desert and clear-cut it ridiculously fast.) The plan is to sink the stairwell straight down until it hopefully intersects the first cavern layer, at which point I'll REALLY start to build this fort. The pumps are fully automatic, powered by windmills. The plan is to install switches for the doors and pumps so I can flood the stairwell at will. Being impatient, I've already got my miners working on the sublevels. They're getting a bit damp, but the floor space expands fast enough to prevent flooding.

I had 3 gaps in the wall with masons braving (or not-so-braving, as the case tends to be) the ankle-deep water to finish the walls. I also noticed that I had nothing for my lazy mechanic to do, so I started him installing levers and gears for the various irrigation systems. May as well start the work on the pumps' off switch as well.

Me: I just have to remember to suspend construction on the key gear when it reaches 'nearly done'...
Dorfs: Oh noes, the water is too deep!
Me: Where did all these blue sevens come from?
Mechanic: *smug*
Legendary Miner: (Five levels below.) Where did everyone go?

This is literally twenty seconds after I gave the mechanic seven different jobs to do. The one dwarf I could depend on to go On Break between each and every job finally got down to business on the one thing I didn't really want done.

Luckily, I had installed hatches on the stairs, so the only effect was a temporary work stoppage while I sent the mechanic back to tear the gear out. (He went On Break first.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shurhaian on August 02, 2010, 05:32:26 pm
Quote from: Beardless on August 02, 2010, 03:10:58 pm
{Mechanic does his work for a change - in fact, does it too fast}

 (He went On Break first.)

Priceless.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McTaverish on August 02, 2010, 06:13:23 pm
Making an addition to my lava corridor for two more magma smelters, I had a dwarf build a wall to block the magma.  He ended up on the wrong side of it.  He had to wait for ANOTHER dwarf to come down to deconstruct the wall.

He didn't make it.

Then my game "crashed." <_< >_> Don't judge me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tywuzhere on August 02, 2010, 06:52:36 pm
The other day, I had a fort going, and it was nicely set up ( I spent awhile laying it out in an organized fashion. )
It was the best fort I've ever had. I say had for a reason.
My carpenter, who I named Rudy ( I know, lame name, but I was naming quickly on the fly.), got into a "fey mood" and she claimed a mason's workshop. I ignored it, which I shouldn't of done... Eventually, she became posessed and then I had my problem. However, I was too busy mining out an elaborate set of bedrooms, and didn't really care about Rudy's posession.
I should've sent some wrestlers in to contain her, but I didn't, and I regret that.
Long story short, she started taking off her clothes around the fortress then she sat in my dining hall, and died.
My dwarves were all too busy drinking their beer to bother picking up Rudy's dead carcass, so she rotted, the cave filled with gasses, all my dwarves didn't like that, so they went insane and starved to death...

I really wish I contained Rudy before it all went downhill lol.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hokan on August 02, 2010, 06:54:11 pm
Quote from: Tywuzhere on August 02, 2010, 06:52:36 pm
My dwarves were all too busy drinking their beer to bother picking up Rudy's dead carcass, so she rotted, the cave filled with gasses, all my dwarves didn't like that, so they went insane and starved to death...

Now wasn't that RUDE *rimshot*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tywuzhere on August 02, 2010, 06:58:05 pm
Lol, yeah, you know you're low on the fortress hierarchy when no one even bothers to bury you.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on August 02, 2010, 07:33:13 pm
Quote from: Beardless on August 02, 2010, 03:10:58 pm
So I was making another stab at replacing the green glass walls holding back the aquifer with clear glass. (I lost the first attempt to a .10 military crash.) Here's a blueprint:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The stairs are the only entrance to what will eventually be my main fort, and currently my only source of stone, and indeed ANY building materials. (I embarked on a desert and clear-cut it ridiculously fast.) The plan is to sink the stairwell straight down until it hopefully intersects the first cavern layer, at which point I'll REALLY start to build this fort. The pumps are fully automatic, powered by windmills. The plan is to install switches for the doors and pumps so I can flood the stairwell at will. Being impatient, I've already got my miners working on the sublevels. They're getting a bit damp, but the floor space expands fast enough to prevent flooding.

I had 3 gaps in the wall with masons braving (or not-so-braving, as the case tends to be) the ankle-deep water to finish the walls. I also noticed that I had nothing for my lazy mechanic to do, so I started him installing levers and gears for the various irrigation systems. May as well start the work on the pumps' off switch as well.

Me: I just have to remember to suspend construction on the key gear when it reaches 'nearly done'...
Dorfs: Oh noes, the water is too deep!
Me: Where did all these blue sevens come from?
Mechanic: *smug*
Legendary Miner: (Five levels below.) Where did everyone go?

This is literally twenty seconds after I gave the mechanic seven different jobs to do. The one dwarf I could depend on to go On Break between each and every job finally got down to business on the one thing I didn't really want done.

Luckily, I had installed hatches on the stairs, so the only effect was a temporary work stoppage while I sent the mechanic back to tear the gear out. (He went On Break first.)

I am putting that in my sig.

Quote from: Shurhaian on August 02, 2010, 05:32:26 pm
Quote from: Beardless on August 02, 2010, 03:10:58 pm
{Mechanic does his work for a change - in fact, does it too fast}

 (He went On Break first.)

Priceless.
And I will use that as a linkcase.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hokan on August 02, 2010, 08:40:18 pm
Oh f**k. I just accidently abandon fortress out of haste on my 10 year fortress instead of save, forgetting that there is no instaquit button.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: eclipsetail on August 02, 2010, 08:45:30 pm
Quote from: Hokan on August 02, 2010, 08:40:18 pm
Oh f**k. I just accidently abandon fortress out of haste on my 10 year fortress instead of save, forgetting that there is no instaquit button.

GG
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ethereal.Frog on August 02, 2010, 08:55:52 pm
Okay, wow. New fort, set on a river. Need to pierce a soil aquifer to get to stone. An alligator tears off half of a miners arm. He's resting.  I continue, planning to have my other miner drop a big ol square of soil in. He drops it in, also falling in himself.

He's drowning for a frame, but somehow manages to get thrown out completely unharmed.

However, half of my food got washed into the aquifer tiles that were left exposed by me not planning my punch properly. Also, the soil turned into more aquifer.

Edit: Wait no, I made it through. I still only have a 3 tile breach to work with, and I still lost half my food.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Johuotar on August 03, 2010, 05:47:37 am
Mined into Huge cavern filled with gold and microline.

All the gold is underwater while microline is above water.  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 03, 2010, 08:49:02 am
You must drain the cavern. You will also get delicious trees.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Johuotar on August 03, 2010, 08:53:46 am
Don't caverns have unlimited water?

Also, 6 masterwork plump helmet biscuits were stolen by raccoon. Their creator was very, very sad. Killing the raccoon, didn't help, I cant find those biscuits anywhere, probably eaten I quess...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Richard on August 03, 2010, 08:55:38 am
Quote from: Tywuzhere on August 02, 2010, 06:52:36 pm

My dwarves were all too busy drinking their beer to bother picking up Rudy's dead carcass,


I think you misunderstand.  That's called a wake.

Quote from: Johuotar on August 03, 2010, 08:53:46 am
Don't caverns have unlimited water?

Only if the water in them is touching the edge of the map (i think)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 03, 2010, 09:51:03 am
"Infinite" water sources can be fooled by pumping water into them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Unshaven on August 03, 2010, 10:39:33 am
I had a mature fort of about 100 dwarves, and I am pretty good at managing them So they are all very busy
Anyways I wanted to deconstruct some of my front door defense structures. As most DF players know children will assist in harvesting and deconstruction. I noticed with dismay that my demolition squad comprised of nearly all children. Unfortunately for them I had never deconstructed such large multilevel structures before, Mistakes were made and well most of them didn't make it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ethereal.Frog on August 03, 2010, 10:56:07 am
So, my carpenter got possessed on my new glacial fort. I saved some wood, so he got that. Slaughtered a cat, 'cause he wanted that too.

A while later, he makes an artifact splint, menacing with spikes of fungiwood. Yep, that's really reassuring.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: eclipsetail on August 03, 2010, 11:29:46 am
Quote from: Ethereal.Frog on August 03, 2010, 10:56:07 am
So, my carpenter got possessed on my new glacial fort. I saved some wood, so he got that. Slaughtered a cat, 'cause he wanted that too.

A while later, he makes an artifact splint, menacing with spikes of fungiwood. Yep, that's really reassuring.

Comfty.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McTaverish on August 03, 2010, 01:41:52 pm
I love cave-ins.  I can't ever get a controlled cave-in like I want (testing my volcano burial mount), but as soon as I go for that gold vein on top of the mountain BOOM! Miner dead.  Even better, separating the constructed floor from the mountainside by means of channeling makes the game freeze.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tywuzhere on August 03, 2010, 05:24:15 pm
Not saving... I figured DF wouldn't crash, because it rarely has ever crashed when I play it. I was wrong today. I clocked in about 2 hours of work today, then it all went to bust when the game crashed. Why didn't I save? I had a whole trap system set up, and I had discovered a cavern...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 03, 2010, 05:41:10 pm
Seasonal Autosave, FTW!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weird beard on August 03, 2010, 06:47:40 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on August 03, 2010, 05:41:10 pm
Seasonal Autosave, FTW!

How do you set that up? I NEED it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McTaverish on August 03, 2010, 07:00:02 pm
Quote from: weird beard on August 03, 2010, 06:47:40 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on August 03, 2010, 05:41:10 pm
Seasonal Autosave, FTW!

How do you set that up? I NEED it.

Init file.  don't even have to gen a new world.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Twobeard on August 03, 2010, 07:07:44 pm
Seasonal save ive found is buggy. Cloggs up space and trying to delete some of them leaves the current save file all wonky.

Peasant fort. No axes or picks. Dead civ. Facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shurhaian on August 03, 2010, 07:18:56 pm
Quote from: Twobeard on August 03, 2010, 07:07:44 pm
Seasonal save ive found is buggy. Cloggs up space and trying to delete some of them leaves the current save file all wonky.
That's odd. I've used seasonal autosave for the longest time now. Are you sure you aren't thinking of autobackup? Seasonal autosave shouldn't use any more space than any other method of periodic saving, and shouldn't leave you with multiples.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on August 03, 2010, 07:51:17 pm
I always use Seasonal saves. They work perfectly so far.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bhaalspawn on August 03, 2010, 08:34:29 pm
I had, a while ago, decided to wall in a human caravan, in an effort to get their stuff when they died. It was a good plan, so of course I had to screw it up. After the few days of playing, I decided that they weren't dying fast enough. Drowning them in the room wasn't an available option, as I'd have no way of draining the room.
 
Then, the idea hit me...why not collapse the roof on them?
 
(if you're not facepalming now, you should)
 
So I went to the level and spot above the depot, mined out a room, selected a chunk of the floor to drop (a nice 5x5 square sound nice?), channeled around that, and dropped it.
 
(now, up to this point, this seemed like a great idea)
 
The ceiling crashed down on the trade depot, killing everyone in it...or so I thought. Part of the ceiling crashed through the floor into a ore storage room, dumping 2 humans (one merchant and a crossbowman) and 2 horses into it. a dwarf or two were knocked unconsious, as well as the humans and horses.
 
then all hell broke loose.
 
the horses woke up, and went insane. they ganked the humans, then went after my dwarves. one was killed outright, and the rest ran screaming around the room (one of them recently given birth and carrying a baby). I decided to activate the clerk/axedwarf, and send him in to kill the horses before they killed anyone else. it makes perfect sense that the clerk was asleep when i activated him.
 
sigh
 
so having to wait until he woke up, I activated another dwarf in the room (convieniently one being chased) and told him to turn and attack. CURBSTOMPED BY HORSE. the clerk/axedwarf finally woke up, and attacked one of the horses (killed it), but not before that horse killed another dwarf. the clerk/axedwarf chased down and killed the last horse chasing the new mother and baby.
 
I couldn't reload, as I hadn't saved for at least 2 hrs and had done a lot of work.
 
all in all:
 
3 or 4 humans dead
3 horses dead
3 dwarves dead
 
*facepalms*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: monkeyfetus on August 03, 2010, 11:00:15 pm
You know, you don't have to kill them to take their stuff. You can just select all their goods and press the "sieze" button.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 04, 2010, 12:43:55 am
Quote from: Shurhaian on August 03, 2010, 07:18:56 pm
Quote from: Twobeard on August 03, 2010, 07:07:44 pm
Seasonal save ive found is buggy. Cloggs up space and trying to delete some of them leaves the current save file all wonky.
That's odd. I've used seasonal autosave for the longest time now. Are you sure you aren't thinking of autobackup? Seasonal autosave shouldn't use any more space than any other method of periodic saving, and shouldn't leave you with multiples.
In the d_init file, the first inputs you come across are Autosave, Autobackup, and Autosave_pause.
Autosave can be SEASONAL, YEARLY, or NONE, and it does exactly what it says: Automatically save every season, year or not at all. AUTOBACKUP is YES or NO, and it creates a new file whenever you save. AUTOSAVE_PAUSE is either YES or NO, and it also, is exactly what it says: Pause on autosave.

Edit: So, yeah. If you have AUTOSAVE set to SEASONAL and AUTOBACKUP set to YES, then you'll wind up with a lot of saves really fast.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JonMonster on August 04, 2010, 04:50:04 am
My boys just disembarked right at the confluence of two rivers.  Boom!  Alligator attack out of nowhere.  Two dead dogs and two dead dwarfs later, my miner chases the bastard away from the wagon.  While he's off bludgeoning it with his pick, my leader (the woodcutter) goes berzerk from the trauma and hacks down a third dwarf, injures a fourth.  Dwarf number five runs for the hills, meets the gator coming back his way with the miner in hot pursuit, and dodges into the river where he drowns.  The miner refuses to abandon the fight - vengeance will be his!  Meanwhile, the injured dwarf bleeds out, the expedition doctor (naturally) having been the first to die.  That's five dead dwarfs 30 seconds into the expedition.

The miner finishes off the gator, drags the carcass back to the wagon where he finds the axe murdered bodies of his two companions.  His leader calmly sits by the river, fishing.  A bloody axe resting at his side.

Perhaps Luckycharms wasn't the best name to pick for this group.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: timtek on August 04, 2010, 04:56:39 am
That is so awesomely incredible! You should get some kind of medal or plaque for that one!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derekristow on August 04, 2010, 05:59:10 am
Weaponsmith was possessed in the first fall, and I couldn't do anything to save him.  Then I got two better weaponsmiths to replace him. "Praise Armok!" I thought.

"Dobar Thimshuramost, Weaponsmith has been possessed."

It is Summer, year two.  I have nothing he likes.  Screw you, Armok.

 I should also note these are the only two weaponsmith moods I've ever had and the only two possessions I've ever had.

Edit: My best stonecrafter was just possessed, took a single stone, and began construction.  /facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Libelnon on August 04, 2010, 08:13:32 am
Quote from: Derekristow on August 04, 2010, 05:59:10 am
Weaponsmith was possessed in the first fall, and I couldn't do anything to save him.  Then I got two better weaponsmiths to replace him. "Praise Armok!" I thought.

"Dobar Thimshuramost, Weaponsmith has been possessed."

It is Summer, year two.  I have nothing he likes.  Screw you, Armok.

 I should also note these are the only two weaponsmith moods I've ever had and the only two possessions I've ever had.

Edit: My best stonecrafter was just possessed, took a single stone, and began construction.  /facepalm

You want Fey moods or Secretive ones for dwarves, not Possessions. Possessions are all well and good, as you produce an artefact and all, but Fey and Secretive dwarves produce an artefact and also become legendary in their craft.
(Speaking of which, I've only ever had 1 secretive dwarf, and no fell or macabre moods at all... ever... even back in my 40d games)

And as of facepalm moments, the only ones I've had of late aren't dwarf related. Haven't been playing DF much of late, been too busy with Wurm, Medieval Total War 2, FreeSpace Open, or MechCommander. Intend to get back onto it soon, but until my determination comes back to managing hundreds (or thousands, as was the case in one of my forts recently) of little axe-wielding midgets again, I'm going to be busy making the longbow take over the world.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mandemon on August 04, 2010, 10:31:07 am
Digged the fortress into ground, with no mountains. Had everything running fine, when I decided to expand my farming network. Digged farm area, channels and everything. Dug the last part of the channel to let water.

Noticed I had forgot to add flood gates. On the first floor. Entire fortress was drowned when water came down the stair well.

These days I add doors where ever I can and have few "safe places" to run and retreat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on August 04, 2010, 10:56:11 am
Quote from: Mandemon on August 04, 2010, 10:31:07 am
These days I add doors where ever I can and have few "safe places" to run and retreat.
(http://a.imageshack.us/img227/2481/floodshelter.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Djohaal on August 04, 2010, 10:58:21 am
Quote from: rocknose on July 28, 2010, 11:15:09 am
Constructed a cistern and buckets, started the bucket brigade to fill it up. While they were filling it, I got a well set up, so the nurses could get water from the cistern without wandering all the way outside while the patients died of thirst. As soon as the well was finished, all the bucket brigade dwarfs began filling their buckets from the well. I had 20 dwarves in a small room, taking water from a well and pouring it into a hole to fill the well.
I didn't realize it until a season later when I realized that the cistern wasn't getting any fuller.

Yeah, that happened with my hospital's cistern too. Dorfs were running around filling it with it's own water.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Johuotar on August 04, 2010, 11:39:11 am
I wanted to try waterwheel, but I couldn't get it to work so I decided to pump that pump manually. The pump was built so that it pumped water right into the platform the pumper were standing, and two dwarves washed themselves of to the cavern lake before I noticed that the entire town I had built underground was flooding.

I had no idea pumps pump water so fast.

Also I built, just to test how bright can microline really be, a trade depot out of microline.

I will NEVER make that mistake again.

Urist McPlayer cancels play Dwarf Fortress, blinded by microline.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lanceleoghauni on August 04, 2010, 12:37:54 pm
Just made the MASSIVE mistake of making my mayor the Captain of the Guard.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on August 04, 2010, 12:37:56 pm
Quote from: Johuotar on August 04, 2010, 11:39:11 am
Also I built, just to test how bright can microline really be, a trade depot out of microline.

I will NEVER make that mistake again.

Urist McPlayer cancels play Dwarf Fortress, blinded by microline.

You can change the colors the game uses; I personally crank the brightness of cyan back about four notches; my current game has a microline TD as well, and it looks pretty good, actually.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ethereal.Frog on August 04, 2010, 12:42:17 pm
Quote from: lanceleoghauni on August 04, 2010, 12:37:54 pm
Just made the MASSIVE mistake of making my mayor the Captain of the Guard.

Did he decide all his mandate issuing was a veritable crime and beat himself to death or something?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lanceleoghauni on August 04, 2010, 12:45:37 pm
nope, just years of ignored mandates for items made out of metal.

In a fortress incapable of working metal.

She's already beaten one dwarf nearly to death, the manager got away with only a broken toe though.

I don't think the farmer is going to make it, pancreatic damage, as well as a red lung. she's also permanently lost the ability to stand.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tywuzhere on August 04, 2010, 03:51:19 pm
Quote from: lanceleoghauni on August 04, 2010, 12:45:37 pm
nope, just years of ignored mandates for items made out of metal.

In a fortress incapable of working metal.

She's already beaten one dwarf nearly to death, the manager got away with only a broken toe though.

I don't think the farmer is going to make it, pancreatic damage, as well as a red lung. she's also permanently lost the ability to stand.
Ah haha, sucks for that farmer. Lol.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lanceleoghauni on August 04, 2010, 04:23:07 pm
o_O surprisingly, the farmer seems to be recovering.

It probably helps that she's "Absolutely inexhaustible, basically unbreakable, Very Strong and Very Rarely Sick"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on August 04, 2010, 05:21:44 pm
A dwarven fortess without metalsmithing?
Have you gone stark raving mad?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: abadidea on August 04, 2010, 05:30:44 pm
Quote from: geoduck on August 04, 2010, 12:37:56 pm
Quote from: Johuotar on August 04, 2010, 11:39:11 am
Also I built, just to test how bright can microline really be, a trade depot out of microline.

I will NEVER make that mistake again.

Urist McPlayer cancels play Dwarf Fortress, blinded by microline.

You can change the colors the game uses; I personally crank the brightness of cyan back about four notches; my current game has a microline TD as well, and it looks pretty good, actually.

Are you kidding?! I build everything out of microcline!

MICROCLINE, GREATEST OF STONES! AMAZONITE, YEAH! It's blue orthoclase with a slightly different crystalline structure and it's AWESOME!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Twobeard on August 04, 2010, 05:40:31 pm
Quote from: Spectre on August 04, 2010, 05:21:44 pm
A dwarven fortess without metalsmithing?
Have you gone stark raving mad?

My most resent fortresses are designed that way. First was embarked into forest, with no axes or picks to see how they went. They are doing fine, except their civ is now dead. GOnna build Dwarven culture from the wood up.

The other was in a terrifying wooded seascape. No axes or picks. Finally stole picks from the first trade caravan ( couldnt trade because my first seven where beaten to death by skeer) 

Two layers of SOIL and SAND down? Aquifer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ethereal.Frog on August 04, 2010, 06:39:45 pm
My mood is failin'. Bone Carver mood. Wants wood logs, body parts, raw green glass & tanned hides. He likes borax, electrum, white jade, the color mint green, battle axes, gauntlets, dogs and wild strawberries. So I slaughter a dog for him, figuring he'll take the bones and the hide. He takes the bones then sits in his workshop. I have raw green glass cut and uncut, 67 other hides of varying types in the trade depot, and plenty of wood.

Except, I don't have wood. I so vehemently refused to believe that I didn't have wood that I didn't check. My biome has tons of trees and I designated a huge pile of them to be cut recently, so it's kinda reasonable to think that.

Damnit.

Edit: Cut some trees, I think he might want shells.

It's winter. Faff.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Miko19 on August 04, 2010, 06:55:52 pm
My Vaultman dying from being shot with wooden bullets...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on August 04, 2010, 06:59:38 pm
Quote from: Miko19 on August 04, 2010, 06:55:52 pm
My Vaultman dying from being shot with wooden bullets...

Wait what?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ethereal.Frog on August 04, 2010, 07:01:11 pm
Quote from: Miko19 on August 04, 2010, 06:55:52 pm
My Vaultman dying from being shot with wooden bullets...

You just made me want to play this mod with one technically not even a sentence.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on August 04, 2010, 07:11:49 pm
Quote from: Ethereal.Frog on August 04, 2010, 07:01:11 pm
Quote from: Miko19 on August 04, 2010, 06:55:52 pm
My Vaultman dying from being shot with wooden bullets...

You just made me want to play this mod with one technically not even a sentence.
A mod?
...
Fallout?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lanceleoghauni on August 04, 2010, 07:38:04 pm
That's the theme my Fort's Going with, sort of a Fallout 3 / Bioshock feel.

I didn't realize my civ was dead, so I started without an anvil to buy more blocks of glass for my glass dome into my mini-rapture.

lo-and-behold, no metalworking.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bhaalspawn on August 04, 2010, 08:15:06 pm
Quote from: monkeyfetus on August 03, 2010, 11:00:15 pm
You know, you don't have to kill them to take their stuff. You can just select all their goods and press the "sieze" button.


I know. my way was far more satisfying...at first.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on August 04, 2010, 08:34:49 pm
Quote from: Spectre on August 04, 2010, 10:56:11 am
Quote from: Mandemon on August 04, 2010, 10:31:07 am
These days I add doors where ever I can and have few "safe places" to run and retreat.
(http://a.imageshack.us/img227/2481/floodshelter.png)
I knew this song before I knew DF.
I just recently lissened in.. and I thought DF imidiatly.
What do you say? Fits nicely doesn't it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffnALnYULbY
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TomiTapio on August 04, 2010, 09:25:43 pm
Quote from: Bhaalspawn on August 03, 2010, 08:34:29 pm
I had, a while ago, decided to wall in a human caravan, in an effort to get their stuff when they died.
Then, the idea hit me...why not collapse the roof on them?

Cave-ins. The most powerful force on the planet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Saposhiente on August 04, 2010, 11:11:52 pm
For me, after painstakingly assigning jobs to each dwarf based on their personality, from a pre-drawn up list designed to cover everything, realizing I had 3 miners and 2 picks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 04, 2010, 11:25:29 pm
...did you not have a blacksmith?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geodude on August 05, 2010, 05:39:56 am
Quote from: Misterstone on August 01, 2010, 12:24:25 am
I had about 4 or 5 dwarves lying in beds after a horrible Forgotten Beast attack.  The the only doctor had a tantrum spiral and murdered 2 or 3 of them.  >:(
Harold Shipdwarf
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derekristow on August 05, 2010, 08:16:07 am
ALL OF MY HATE

Every single weaponsmith immigrant has now been possessed not two years in to the fort's life!  Three possessions!  Screw it, savescumming this time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Saposhiente on August 05, 2010, 11:30:47 am
Quote from: MaximumZero on August 04, 2010, 11:25:29 pm
...did you not have a blacksmith?
I did, but then the aquifer glitched and the cavein just made more aquifer instead of letting me go through. RAGE!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torgan on August 05, 2010, 11:50:54 am
Just remembered I had forgotten to turn on autosaving after the game crashed, three or four years since the last save.  >:(

It had just got more interesting too, a legendary human Law-Giver had turned up who was a humanoid tortoise with deadly gas, he'd taken out several goblin ambushes that were attacking the recently arrived human caravan.  He was fairly wounded, so I did the right thing and unleashed my military on him.  They tore him up, but most were sluggish, numb and/or feverish after being subjected to the gas, checked someone in the hospital and the game crashed.  I was hoping I could butcher the law giver for an awesome shell as well. :(

Oh well, hopefully I'll get more useful artifacts than wooden bracelets and rings this time, all made by my child prodigy beardlings. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eggsnham on August 05, 2010, 12:57:43 pm
I stocked up on tons of food before embark, figuring that it would buy me some time to get myself established before I had to go and farm.

I hate farming in this game for some reason.

Anyways, so I bought lots of food and booze, having sold my bronze axes (no more defense and no more wood. Not a good idea) and anvil (I didn't know about metalworking at the time) to get it. I also sold some various other seeds and items that I'd viewed as useless at the time.


I also didn't bother giving my dwarfs  any skills save for a single miner/mason and a wood cutter/carpenter (who was half useless).

It actually didn't start off so bad, I dug out my burrow and stockpiles and made makeshift bedrooms so that even if they didn't have beds, they could still sleep somewhere.

Of course, after that I decided to go looking for some stone to mine so I'd have some building materials. I found nothing, even after going about 5+ Z levels down.

After a while we started running low on food and decided to plant some of my plump helmets. I decided to go and try to mine out a medium sized water pocket into a place that I named the "Farming Corridor". I figured that it was big enough to absorb all of the water; I was wrong. So now I have no wood, no stone, a flooded burrow, no beds and limited food and booze supplies.

"C'mon, trade caravans, I need you!" "Wait... Why are we getting immigrants?!"

Now I have more mouths to feed, my dwarfs are running on dwindling food supplies in a half flooded cave and we have no building materials.

Finally, the flood clears up and I'm able to plant some seeds in the mud. "That was easy."

Nope, it wasn't, because then and there for reasons unknown, a couple goblins roam into my fort and attack my unarmed untrained dwarfs. Of the fifteen or so that I had before, my population is now down to ten.

This story ends with a big "Fuck it" and me abandoning my fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lanceleoghauni on August 05, 2010, 01:49:05 pm
Ouch. Sounds like someone's got a case of the Newbs.

Don't worry dude, It'll clear up in time.

In this situation you would have needed a large, open area for the water to spread over. you could also have activated the Plant Gathering Activity under the farming tab in Labor. this lets you go above ground and gather Plants (it's in the designations menu d -> p), some of which you can eat right away, some of which need to be worked before they're useful. The handy thing about above ground farms is they don't need to be wet.

About the stone: Get some, It's vitally important to get some kind of perimeter defense up quickly. don't find any? DIG DEEPER.

you say you stocked up on food, but what about alcohol? without booze they will work slower and slower until the Tantrum. or die of thirst, of you've got no well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ethereal.Frog on August 05, 2010, 02:25:13 pm
Trying to find the upright spoiler entrance is a bad idea unless you're really prepared for it.

Half of my guys are dead, and then I found several goblinite veins on surface level. So now I'm gonna half my armorer make a set of bluemetal armor, and come back shortly with an adventurer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Puriri on August 05, 2010, 03:28:49 pm
First I dug out an area for my farm that I thought would be at the same level as my river. But then I realized it was actually above it.
So I made a screwpump on one side and a drain to the river on the other side of the room. My mason went to pump the water in. When the room had enough water I told him to destroy the pump. Since he built it he had been trapped but safe from the water but when the pump disassembled the water immediately pushed him out into the river to drown.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AngleWyrm on August 05, 2010, 03:40:08 pm
Coming back to my fort after a week off, and then realizing I have no idea what's going on.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Twobeard on August 05, 2010, 05:36:09 pm
Quote from: Eggsnham on August 05, 2010, 12:57:43 pm
I stocked up on tons of food before embark, figuring that it would buy me some time to get myself established before I had to go and farm.

I hate farming in this game for some reason.

Anyways, so I bought lots of food and booze, having sold my bronze axes (no more defense and no more wood. Not a good idea) and anvil (I didn't know about metalworking at the time) to get it. I also sold some various other seeds and items that I'd viewed as useless at the time.


I also didn't bother giving my dwarfs  any skills save for a single miner/mason and a wood cutter/carpenter (who was half useless).

It actually didn't start off so bad, I dug out my burrow and stockpiles and made makeshift bedrooms so that even if they didn't have beds, they could still sleep somewhere.

Of course, after that I decided to go looking for some stone to mine so I'd have some building materials. I found nothing, even after going about 5+ Z levels down.

After a while we started running low on food and decided to plant some of my plump helmets. I decided to go and try to mine out a medium sized water pocket into a place that I named the "Farming Corridor". I figured that it was big enough to absorb all of the water; I was wrong. So now I have no wood, no stone, a flooded burrow, no beds and limited food and booze supplies.

"C'mon, trade caravans, I need you!" "Wait... Why are we getting immigrants?!"

Now I have more mouths to feed, my dwarfs are running on dwindling food supplies in a half flooded cave and we have no building materials.

Finally, the flood clears up and I'm able to plant some seeds in the mud. "That was easy."

Nope, it wasn't, because then and there for reasons unknown, a couple goblins roam into my fort and attack my unarmed untrained dwarfs. Of the fifteen or so that I had before, my population is now down to ten.

This story ends with a big "Fuck it" and me abandoning my fort.

I hate to say it man, but that was giving up to easy. Like lance said, you could have gathered aboveground plants. You could also have butchered your animals.

 In terms of wood production? Break apart your wagon, you get logs, those logs can make a carpenters shop with b-w-c, then make a wooden training axe at the carpenters. I know it sounds silly, but they cut trees. Once you have that you should be fine for wood as long as there is some on your map. Then you can make more barrels for storage of food/booze, doors to keep out gobbos, beds and things.

 Migrant waves are fairly constant and ten dwarves is enough to work with for any amount of time. Hell i started a fortress alot like yours the other day, but without the miner or pick. My first seven got beaten to death by skeletal dear, just in time for 2 migrants to show. Its an interesting map. Bottom line, if your not sure about something in the game, feel free to ask, and dont give up on a fort to early. Dwarves dying is half the fun.
Goodluck dude.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: plstcflsh on August 05, 2010, 11:28:51 pm
i had an interesting facepalm a few games ago. i embarked, dug a hole, set a stockpile in that hole, and deconstructed the wagon, for it and all parts to go into the hole. in an effort to what i thought would expedite the process, i set one massive custom stockpile, and permitted all types of everything inside of it. soon after i notice a mess around the wagon, trails of what looks like blood leading away from the wagon in all directions, but it turns out to be all the wine, rum and beer. this must be a noob error? i abandoned that fort as it was off to a rough start with no booze.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: abadidea on August 05, 2010, 11:51:28 pm
Quote from: plstcflsh on August 05, 2010, 11:28:51 pm
i had an interesting facepalm a few games ago. i embarked, dug a hole, set a stockpile in that hole, and deconstructed the wagon, for it and all parts to go into the hole. in an effort to what i thought would expedite the process, i set one massive custom stockpile, and permitted all types of everything inside of it. soon after i notice a mess around the wagon, trails of what looks like blood leading away from the wagon in all directions, but it turns out to be all the wine, rum and beer. this must be a noob error? i abandoned that fort as it was off to a rough start with no booze.

I have never actually seen spilled alcohol, but it sounds like you accidentally designated all the barrels for dumping.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serio on August 06, 2010, 09:02:13 am
My best miner, a legendary miner, was digging a tomb deep down below the settlement. I meant for it to be my commander's tomb, and, unbeknownst to me, it was located right above a magma sea. Naturally, my miner halted but not before the expedition leader had somehow bled to death besides the magma. And did I mention two of my other, very good dwarves, are working on the level right below, where the magma is now headed?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tryntu on August 06, 2010, 02:35:49 pm
Quote from: Torgan on August 05, 2010, 11:50:54 am
Just remembered I had forgotten to turn on autosaving after the game crashed, three or four years since the last save.  >:(

facepalm spiral? i keep accidentally unplugging my computer and losing fortresses because i never save. how does one turn on that autosaving?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on August 06, 2010, 03:12:19 pm
in the init files. 

data>init>d_init.txt

the top entry is autosave.

Just change [AUTOSAVE:NONE] to [AUTOSAVE:SEASONAL] or [AUTOSAVE:YEARLY].  Seasonal saves once every 3 months, yearly once per year on the first day of spring.

Note that saving does take about 10 or 20 seconds, so when it does save your game will freeze up for a second.  It usually says saving onscreen during this time, but if yer Graphical fps is set relatively low sometimes the saving dialog won't have a chance to appear. 

I also recommend turning the autosave_pause to YES.  It's not uncommon to have a siege strike on the last month of a season.  Sometimes the fighting is still happening when the season changes, it sucks for the game to suddenly take off at full speed while yer trying to time a lever pull after a few seconds of delay.
 
Autobackup is nice for some people, but I just feel it makes loading a save confusing and fills up yer harddrive with old saves that yer not likely to use.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Besser on August 06, 2010, 04:35:51 pm
I have two facepalm moments.

The first was in an older fort of mine, and this is the story I tell all my friends who are new to DF or who I try to convert. I had a really powerful Axelord- Legendary in Axes, a full suit of adamantine plate armor, etc. (this was before the 'fighter', 'dodge' etc. skills were around). She was the first of her squad to advance to the rank of Axelord, so I immediately replaced the old head of my military. Something important you should know about this dwarf- she had more children than a pack of Mormons. She would carry babies with her, caring mother that she was, and for whatever reason, they would follow her around once they could walk. This remained true through all the hard times I had, including the first siege of her career as my Commander-in-Chief. Like a good general, she led the charge against a group of about 15-25 goblins. Needless to say, she tore them to shreds. While the goblins were not able to hit her, they were able to hit her baby whom she carried into battle with what I'm guessing was her shield arm. The goblins not surrounding my war machine decided to destroy her other children. At the end of the day, I had a bunch of dead goblins, 7 dead children, and parts of a baby surrounding my poor Dwarven mother. She was devastated. Eventually, after about a season or two, she went insane from sadness and started killing people. By this point, the rest of her former squadmates had caught up with her in strength, so she went down pretty quickly. Despite her rampage, she was honored as a hero and received the largest of my tombs at the time.

The second facepalm moment is one that I encountered in this new build of Dwarf Fort, and I'm still not quite sure it wasn't a glitch. One of my dwarves went into a mood and claimed the Mechanic's workshop, of all places. He went back and forth with nothing but rocks. I watched for a bit and eventually got bored, because he was moving a LOT of rock, and put my attentions elsewhere. I didn't think anything of it, until I came back a few hours later to see him still diligently carrying rocks. I thought I had found a glitch, and that he was permanently stuck just carrying rocks in his mood. This was actually a good thing, though, because I had been forced to cut off access to the outside world due to about 3 ambushes and then a siege in the span of 40 minutes. Because I couldn't trade, I had very little materials with which 'moody dwarves', as I like to call them, could work with, so I had been losing dwarves left and right to melancholy, insanity, etc and was glad to not have to deal with that anymore. Eventually, to my great surprise, I received an announcement saying that my rock-moving dwarf had begun a construction! Once all was said and done, I got a mechanism worth about $2 million and engraved with just about every image you could hope to see. Here are some screenshots:

Value and Name
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Description Page- it goes on forever.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haspen on August 06, 2010, 06:21:22 pm
Besser - it's case of Planepacked. (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Planepacked)

I think I saw somewhere that with use of burrows (or rather, mis-use) it is possible to make incredibly intricate artifacts in 0.31 as well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on August 06, 2010, 06:22:17 pm
As well known as that bug is now, it's nice to see soemone stumbling on it by accident.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xtank5 on August 06, 2010, 06:35:47 pm
On the lowest visible line in the description is a recursive engraving.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Twobeard on August 06, 2010, 07:34:57 pm
Oh man those are the most hilarious artifacts ever. I may have to see if i can pull that off now. Thats awesome.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: timtek on August 06, 2010, 08:55:00 pm
I recently had a pine earring with an engraving of a pine earring on it. :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Saposhiente on August 07, 2010, 01:55:33 am
One word: Planepacked (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Planepacked)
It has 17 images of itself, in addition to the entire history of the world on it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Socharis on August 07, 2010, 03:01:14 am
Building a 'fast route' and a 'goblin route' to my depot and getting the whole damn thing dug out before realizing that my depot was only 5 squares from the edge of the map.  Doh!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serio on August 07, 2010, 04:34:47 am
Quote from: Saposhiente on August 07, 2010, 01:55:33 am
One word: Planepacked (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Planepacked)
It has 17 images of itself, in addition to the entire history of the world on it.
It is the beginning and the end. If only any dwarf gazing upon it would be driven mad, that would complete it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 07, 2010, 09:55:16 am
Actually Planepacked recursed 73 times.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: necrodoom on August 07, 2010, 11:34:19 am
so i modded in some new materials:

dragonmetal: a super strong red metal, found anywhere but very rare, not very sharp.
pyronite: a white (how to change to yellow?) material with an over average fixed temp, found within natural obsidian. a valuable material,  but dangerous.
crystalium oxide: a white highly unstable material found within opal clusters, can ignite and blow up even from the heat from smelters. very light and sharp.
hydrostone: a blue material found in gabbo. when smelted, produces freezium.
freezium: a valuable cyan material. due to his low fixed temp, it is VERY useful preventing fires and magma accidents.

i had a successful fort running on the 5th year, and i finally found natural obsidian, along with some pyronite. to prevent fiery accidents, i give them freezium helmets. while the miners are hauling the pyronite, i had a small magma leak and the grass outside catched on fire. i quickly order my dwarfs to haul freezium outside to cool down the fire. the miners were still hauling pyronite, but now though the crystalium oxide stock pile (freezium stock pile was near the crystallium pile, and i forgot to lock the door again *facepalm*) and then one IDIOT miner decides to cancel his job to get drinks RIGHT ontop of the crystalium pile, causing it to explode 10 seconds later before anyone reacted, killing 2 miners, causing one of the hauled pyronite to land ontop of the foodstock pile, causing the booze to explode and the rest to catch on fire,  sending burning stuff into the old section of the fortress which most of it was wood, heat causes a nearby magma safe floodgate to melt, magma comes down and flows over the dragonmetal stockpile (i planned to make armor outa that, omfg) right into the fuel stockpile, causing it to ignite, causing a nearby artifact to burn, causing the artifact owner to tantarum (who is also my military commander  ::)) killing some dwarfs and starting a tantarum spiral with killed the fortress. the worst thing is, that i could prevent ALL of this if i remembered to forbid the freezium in the crystalium oxide pile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on August 07, 2010, 11:38:31 am
That is so awesome, I dont know what to say.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on August 07, 2010, 11:43:02 am
Ah Dwarf Fortress modding.  Nothing says great success and utter death and destruction at the same time, quite like 'k'ing over a tile and seeing "Boiling Explodium".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFish on August 07, 2010, 03:05:29 pm
first post and first real face palm moment, still pretty mild by the standards of this thread.

my longest running fort (only 3 years) was going great until i decided to carve out a moat around my fortifications.... straight through the middle of my fort on the next level down... unfortunately i failed to notice my mistake until i had diverted the nearby river. oops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on August 07, 2010, 03:34:11 pm
Quote from: TheFish on August 07, 2010, 03:05:29 pm
first post and first real face palm moment, still pretty mild by the standards of this thread.

my longest running fort (only 3 years) was going great until i decided to carve out a moat around my fortifications.... straight through the middle of my fort on the next level down... unfortunately i failed to notice my mistake until i had diverted the nearby river. oops.
I think everyone makes that mistake once.  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on August 07, 2010, 03:47:02 pm
It is one of the many rites of passage to a DF player.  Teaches you to double check your designations (including the adjacent z-levels).  Teaches you what does (and does not) work for quick emergency constructions, and teaches you how to keep a fortress functioning after a catastrophic disaster.

Welcome to the forums.  May you have much Fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: petersohn on August 07, 2010, 03:49:43 pm
When I mine I often use ramps to mine out two levels at once. Sometimes, I accidentally breach the wall to the outside. If I don't notice it in time and fill it with constructions, then suddenly the game zooms into the middle of my fortress with the message: An ambush! Curse them!  :-[

Even worse if I breach my own magma channel using this method. I lost several miners to such incidents in one fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weird beard on August 07, 2010, 06:34:24 pm
Quote from: Spectre on August 07, 2010, 03:34:11 pm
Quote from: TheFish on August 07, 2010, 03:05:29 pm
first post and first real face palm moment, still pretty mild by the standards of this thread.

my longest running fort (only 3 years) was going great until i decided to carve out a moat around my fortifications.... straight through the middle of my fort on the next level down... unfortunately i failed to notice my mistake until i had diverted the nearby river. oops.
I think everyone makes that mistake once.  :D

I'm pretty sure I've done that two or three times.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Saposhiente on August 07, 2010, 06:58:27 pm
I've done it. Redirect the water into the mines while you get magma redirected to the source, then atom smash the water in the mines or drain into edge fortifications.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 07, 2010, 07:57:28 pm
Modded "Black Wolfram" into my game as a new type of metal for my dorfs to make (just like making steel, but with no flux.)

First, I forgot to add the [PERMITTED_REACTION:BLACK_WOLFRAM_MAKING] to the entity, so they couldn't make it.
Second, I forgot to change "wolfram" to "black wolfram", so I had two entries for "Wolfram <item>" for everything metal, and couldn't easily tell them apart (aside from points value).
Third, I tried to run a current save with updated RAWs.

*facepalm*

I finally got it all running, though. Gonna add more metals soon. ^_^
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beardless on August 07, 2010, 10:42:30 pm
Quote from: necrodoom on August 07, 2010, 11:34:19 am
crystalium oxide: a white highly unstable material found within opal clusters, can ignite and blow up even from the heat from smelters. very light and sharp.

Great story--sounds like a Fun mod! :D I'm a little confused though. If it blows up when heated, how can it be forged into weapons?

(Trying to figure how to make the chemistry work in the spoiler:)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Hmm. Trying to make the chemistry of a Rule of Cool mod follow Real Life rules probably counts as a face palm-worthy moment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: necrodoom on August 07, 2010, 10:52:14 pm
Quote from: Beardless on August 07, 2010, 10:42:30 pm
Quote from: necrodoom on August 07, 2010, 11:34:19 am
crystalium oxide: a white highly unstable material found within opal clusters, can ignite and blow up even from the heat from smelters. very light and sharp.

Great story--sounds like a Fun mod! :D I'm a little confused though. If it blows up when heated, how can it be forged into weapons?

(Trying to figure how to make the chemistry work in the spoiler:)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Hmm. Trying to make the chemistry of a Rule of Cool mod follow Real Life rules probably counts as a face palm-worthy moment.

it isnt supposted to be based of real life crystalium, infact i didnt even knew that there is such thing.
also im trying to mod crystalium to explode into shards instead, and i think it could be smelted if i would add freezium into the recipe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Saposhiente on August 08, 2010, 12:03:53 am
Quote from: necrodoom on August 07, 2010, 11:34:19 am
freezium: a valuable cyan material. due to his low fixed temp, it is VERY useful preventing fires and magma accidents.
Nether-caps, found in the bottom cavern layer, produce wood that is always 0C
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on August 08, 2010, 12:11:38 am
Well.  This thread seems to have averted a facepalm moment then.  Play my custom race in which some castes have a very low cold tolerance (0 degrees is fatal).  It would have been a terrible thing to place a number of beds made of that wood in the dorms...

The funny part would be how long it would take me to figure out why seemingly random members of the fortress suddenly keep dropping dead in the dorms.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on August 08, 2010, 12:12:59 am
Quote from: Saposhiente on August 08, 2010, 12:03:53 am
Quote from: necrodoom on August 07, 2010, 11:34:19 am
freezium: a valuable cyan material. due to his low fixed temp, it is VERY useful preventing fires and magma accidents.
Nether-caps, found in the bottom cavern layer, produce wood that is always 0C
I did not know that!
wow.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Geti on August 08, 2010, 01:25:48 am
Reduction of oxides rarely occurs without a strong reducing agent ie not often in nature. Oxygen (which is a good oxidising agent, funnily enough) is too abundant for that.
Trained a really boss military of macedwarves. Squad of crossbowgoblins turned up. 100% casualties for the home team! wooo! *facedesk*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beardless on August 08, 2010, 02:55:28 am
Quote from: necrodoom on August 07, 2010, 10:52:14 pm
it isnt supposted to be based of real life crystalium, infact i didnt even knew that there is such thing.
also im trying to mod crystalium to explode into shards instead, and i think it could be smelted if i would add freezium into the recipe.

No no, it doesn't actually exist. I was just trying to figure out how it would work if it was real. Which was pretty futile in the end. Hence the "this probably counts as a face-palm moment" remark at the end of the post. ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: uber pye on August 08, 2010, 12:12:14 pm
there is a megabeast in my local cave and i lost 5 of my 7 starting dwarfs to it

its ok now i locked it up and i am sending in useless migrants for him to snack on
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 08, 2010, 01:00:01 pm
Quote from: Flaede on August 08, 2010, 12:12:59 am
Quote from: Saposhiente on August 08, 2010, 12:03:53 am
Quote from: necrodoom on August 07, 2010, 11:34:19 am
freezium: a valuable cyan material. due to his low fixed temp, it is VERY useful preventing fires and magma accidents.
Nether-caps, found in the bottom cavern layer, produce wood that is always 0C
I did not know that!
wow.
I actually equip arena mode creatures in it. It allows me to survive a magma swim for about twice as long.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McTaverish on August 08, 2010, 01:12:17 pm
Quote from: Beardless on August 07, 2010, 10:42:30 pm
Quote from: necrodoom on August 07, 2010, 11:34:19 am
crystalium oxide: a white highly unstable material found within opal clusters, can ignite and blow up even from the heat from smelters. very light and sharp.

Great story--sounds like a Fun mod! :D I'm a little confused though. If it blows up when heated, how can it be forged into weapons?

(Trying to figure how to make the chemistry work in the spoiler:)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Hmm. Trying to make the chemistry of a Rule of Cool mod follow Real Life rules probably counts as a face palm-worthy moment.
No because an oxide isn't the product of combustion, it's the product of oxidization.  Iron Oxide (rust) happens because the metal is exposed to air.  Presumably the pure Crystalium (yeah I know it isn't real) would end up having a thin coat of oxide to protect it from further corrosion as it'd be a reactive metal, but it'd presumably be only chemically, and not physically, reactive in its pure state.  Reactive metals form bonds more easily (and most often with oxygen) to maintain stability.  The oxygen that bonds to it would make it more volatile, as oxygen is a key part of combustion, as can be see with the awesome reaction of Fe2O3+Al+Heat=More Heat+Fe, more commonly referred to as Thermite.

Yes I know, every time you inject science into a fantasy discussion God kills a catgirl, but it just bugged me.  And actually I'm a Biologist so :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shurhaian on August 08, 2010, 02:42:21 pm
Quote from: Urist McTaverish on August 08, 2010, 01:12:17 pm
No because an oxide isn't the product of combustion, it's the product of oxidization.  Iron Oxide (rust) happens because the metal is exposed to air.  Presumably the pure Crystalium (yeah I know it isn't real) would end up having a thin coat of oxide to protect it from further corrosion as it'd be a reactive metal, but it'd presumably be only chemically, and not physically, reactive in its pure state.  Reactive metals form bonds more easily (and most often with oxygen) to maintain stability.  The oxygen that bonds to it would make it more volatile, as oxygen is a key part of combustion, as can be see with the awesome reaction of Fe2O3+Al+Heat=More Heat+Fe, more commonly referred to as Thermite.

Yes I know, every time you inject science into a fantasy discussion God kills a catgirl, but it just bugged me.  And actually I'm a Biologist so :P

And you were doing so well, too...

("Volatile" in chemical terms is "easy to evaporate". This happens to contribute to the explosion risk of flammables, as flammable volatiles like gasoline can pre-mix with air, but "volatile" does not mean "combustible". It refers to the ease of changing state, and that has led to the more general usage of a situation that is prone to rapidly changing - and unfortunately, is often associated with blowing up. This connotation is creeping back into use in a chemical context, erroneously.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McTaverish on August 08, 2010, 03:05:52 pm
Quote from: Shurhaian on August 08, 2010, 02:42:21 pm
Quote from: Urist McTaverish on August 08, 2010, 01:12:17 pm
No because an oxide isn't the product of combustion, it's the product of oxidization.  Iron Oxide (rust) happens because the metal is exposed to air.  Presumably the pure Crystalium (yeah I know it isn't real) would end up having a thin coat of oxide to protect it from further corrosion as it'd be a reactive metal, but it'd presumably be only chemically, and not physically, reactive in its pure state.  Reactive metals form bonds more easily (and most often with oxygen) to maintain stability.  The oxygen that bonds to it would make it more volatile, as oxygen is a key part of combustion, as can be see with the awesome reaction of Fe2O3+Al+Heat=More Heat+Fe, more commonly referred to as Thermite.

Yes I know, every time you inject science into a fantasy discussion God kills a catgirl, but it just bugged me.  And actually I'm a Biologist so :P

And you were doing so well, too...

("Volatile" in chemical terms is "easy to evaporate". This happens to contribute to the explosion risk of flammables, as flammable volatiles like gasoline can pre-mix with air, but "volatile" does not mean "combustible". It refers to the ease of changing state, and that has led to the more general usage of a situation that is prone to rapidly changing - and unfortunately, is often associated with blowing up. This connotation is creeping back into use in a chemical context, erroneously.)

I do apologize, sometimes the layman in me gets the better of me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xtank5 on August 08, 2010, 09:58:18 pm
Quote from: Urist McTaverish on August 08, 2010, 01:12:17 pm
The oxygen that bonds to it would make it more volatile, as oxygen is a key part of combustion, as can be see with the awesome reaction of Fe2O3+Al+Heat=More Heat+Fe, more commonly referred to as Thermite.

You missed some of the Products and didn't balance the equation. 3 FeO2 + 2 Al + Heat = 3 Fe + 2 Al2O3 + Way more Heat
Chem 20 FTW! :P  Sorry 'bout that but my Chem teacher drilled this into my head and chemical equations have to look like this.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shurhaian on August 08, 2010, 10:06:40 pm
If we're going to be technical, I don't think the energy involved - especially not the activation energy - is normally listed in a chemical reaction on either the reagents OR the products side. ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Geti on August 08, 2010, 11:36:31 pm
Yeah and it's expressed as an enthalpy change and then-
Oh wait we're careening off topic and the technicalities behind writing an equation rarely actually matter when you're using it for explanation's sake.

3 babies just drowned in my pumping system due to neglectful mothers :/
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Keldor on August 09, 2010, 02:04:59 am
Quote from: Geti on August 08, 2010, 11:36:31 pm
3 babies just drowned in my pumping system due to neglectful mothers :/

Heh, I always get "Urist McWrestler cancels spar: seeking infant".  I can just imagine dwarven babies flying through the air after a particularly rough takedown....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shurhaian on August 09, 2010, 02:48:21 am
Yeah, I've been trying to limit my military to men for just that reason. Child Protection Services would go into apoplexy if they found themselves inside DF.

My migrants, however, have other ideas. Seems 90% of the time when I get a migrant with decent military skills, either it's for weapons I can't make(though the other skills make it not a total waste) or a female or both. Not that I don't think dwarven women can't fight, but until there's a day care(or, alternately, until the men are able to tend children) I don't really want them to.

And, of course, my prospective soldiers are the ones that get taken by moods, if it's not a possession...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: deoxys413 on August 09, 2010, 12:11:50 pm
Quote from: Keldor on August 09, 2010, 02:04:59 am
Quote from: Geti on August 08, 2010, 11:36:31 pm
3 babies just drowned in my pumping system due to neglectful mothers :/

Heh, I always get "Urist McWrestler cancels spar: seeking infant".  I can just imagine dwarven babies flying through the air after a particularly rough takedown....
And to that, I picture what would most assuredly happen during a tantrum spiral of babies being thrown around like food in a cafeteria.  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 09, 2010, 12:36:13 pm
summary of my post in What's going on in your fort:

Quote
...I should mention that my garbage dump is immediately behind my main drawbridge. From gamelog.txt with annotations:

...The savanna titan Ozstag has come!  A towering one-eyed spider.  It has a knobby trunk and it has a regal bearing.  Its lavender exoskeleton is wrinkled.  Beware its poisonous bite!
<raises drawbridge>
Some migrants have arrived. <--Yay sacrifices while I make weapons and armor for my military! Especially armor, that's important, you know. I wish I had an armorer with some skill...
<moments later>
Me: Fuck. Why now? Armok? Are you there? I hate you. And your spider. Fuck you sideways with a poleaxe. Both of you.
<carnage and cancellation spam>
The elf Diagnoser Lesana Lalicce from Lin Pacila has arrived.
A elven caravan from Lin Pacila has arrived. ( :D)
`Unfortunate Victim' Desornish, Chose Wrong Time To Migrate has been struck down. <-- High master armorsmith, only useful migrant in the sacrifice wave, last to arrive, Armok is an asshole.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dora Feddy on August 09, 2010, 12:43:17 pm
I just had a miner die of infection for apparently no reason. I checked his status to see what injuries caused him to die, and... Oh, he was just missing his upper bod- WAIT WHAT?! *facepalm* God I hope he didn't go too long as just a pair of legs.
Urist Mcminer cancels dig.  no hands

*sigh* I TOLD them not to play with the stray cave crocodiles. They nip.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Internet Kraken on August 09, 2010, 01:07:28 pm
My Dwavres seem to have collectively gotten dumber. First my digger, for inexplicable reasons, decides to charge into the ocean and drowns in the process. Then two masons somehow get lost in the caverns. I have no idea how they both managed this since the caverns are blocked off.

Originally I was going to dig them an escape route, but they apparently pissed off one of the local Forgotten Beasts. The first mason never stood a chance. The beast grabbed him by his toe, and it decapitated him by scratching his head. No way I'm letting this guy into my fort. Shortly after the second mason stumbled upon his friend's headless corpse and the beast began to chase him. He's currently running for his life down in the caverns, barely managing to avoid the abomination. I doubt he'll be able to lose it but if he somehow does I guess I'll dig him a way back in. Though things look pretty grim for him. There are two Forgotten Beasts down there, and odds are he's going to end up caught between the two of them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on August 09, 2010, 01:10:42 pm
Quote from: Internet Kraken on August 09, 2010, 01:07:28 pm
Then two masons somehow get lost in the caverns. I have no idea how they both managed this since the caverns are blocked off.
Look at this for a while. You answered the question yourself.
It's rather classy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Internet Kraken on August 09, 2010, 01:15:27 pm
Quote from: Spectre on August 09, 2010, 01:10:42 pm
Quote from: Internet Kraken on August 09, 2010, 01:07:28 pm
Then two masons somehow get lost in the caverns. I have no idea how they both managed this since the caverns are blocked off.
Look at this for a while. You answered the question yourself.
It's rather classy.

 Oh yeah. I forgot about a masons idiotic desire to builds walls in the dumbest manner possible. Well they both paid for their idiocy with death. The second mason had both of his arms scratched off, then the beast scratched him in the lower body, severing him in two. I can't say I'm particularly heartbroken about this loss.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on August 09, 2010, 01:23:25 pm
This fits perfectly. =D

Quote from: Akinari on July 24, 2010, 08:53:33 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jayce on August 09, 2010, 02:21:39 pm
Building a windmill out of stone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 09, 2010, 02:44:17 pm
Quote from: Jayce on August 09, 2010, 02:21:39 pm
Building a windmill out of stone.

How?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jayce on August 09, 2010, 02:59:43 pm
Dunno was an older version of df,new one only seems to allow wood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 09, 2010, 03:24:51 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

WHAT.

Two facepalms here: one is that Ozstag there has been chasing that bull calf for near a full season, the other is the human caravan showing up RIGHT FUCKING THERE. Oh, and the liaison too. I didn't even notice him until I uploaded the image. This will be... entertaining.

The corpse two tiles north of the leopard is the high master armorsmith.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Internet Kraken on August 09, 2010, 05:37:10 pm
Wow. The captain of my Fortress Guard is dead. A berserk camel somehow kicked him in the head so hard that his brain was shoved through his skull. I'm just astounded by his incompetence. How does a fully armored dwarf lose to a camel!?!?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Libelnon on August 09, 2010, 07:39:00 pm
I just had a pair of legendary miners plummet 4 z levels into a cavern when channelling out a new pit over the cavern layer. Someone managed to isolate something that collapsed, and the two miners were standing on it. One miner plummeted into a pool and drowned, the other crushed both lungs on impact and quickly suffocated.

The bigger facepalm is that there is nobody else in the fort with mining skill. So we now have to suffer through a newly-drafted peasant mining out the rest of that room. *sigh*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Twobeard on August 09, 2010, 10:01:34 pm
Quote from: Shurhaian on August 09, 2010, 02:48:21 am
Yeah, I've been trying to limit my military to men for just that reason. Child Protection Services would go into apoplexy if they found themselves inside DF.


You seem to be missing the point my good man. Women in DF breed to damn much anyway. I allocate women to the military for presicely the reason you dont want them there. It helps kill them off. Which is great. Damned breeders. SOOOO MANY CHILDREN. *facepalm* If i could put children into squads i would do that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JonMonster on August 09, 2010, 10:46:58 pm
Quote from: Libelnon on August 09, 2010, 07:39:00 pm
I just had a pair of legendary miners plummet 4 z levels into a cavern when channelling out a new pit over the cavern layer. Someone managed to isolate something that collapsed, and the two miners were standing on it.

I pulled a similar stunt last night.  Brand new embark, nice river running alongside a 3-z level cliff for a ready made moat.  All I had to do was knock down a little hillock on the near bank of the river.  Instead of channeling, I ordered my two miners to mine it out.  Within 10 seconds they'd brought the cieling down on their heads.  10 seconds into the embark and I was already down both miners.

Face meet palm, indeed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tommy on August 10, 2010, 12:18:12 am
I managed top drop two legendary miners and a fairly decent miner into the top (and soon thereafter, the bottom) of a volcano before realising what was wrong with my channelling designations.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ikaruga on August 10, 2010, 01:55:20 am
It was during winter, the river was frozen, I was out of booze and I brewed all the plants I could. All of my dwarves were dying of thirst one after another. Only one solution : dig as deep as I could to find an underground lake.  So they all started digging, but I couldn't go further than 3 Z levels before they all died ...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beardless on August 10, 2010, 04:19:03 am
Quote from: Internet Kraken on August 09, 2010, 05:37:10 pm
Wow. The captain of my Fortress Guard is dead. A berserk camel somehow kicked him in the head so hard that his brain was shoved through his skull. I'm just astounded by his incompetence. How does a fully armored dwarf lose to a camel!?!?

No shame there. It's an effing camel. Dudes are like stealth elephants. Visit the Wonder how most forts fall? (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=59181.0) thread, you'll see a surprising number of forts brought down by camels.

I'm embarked on a desert right now. None of the giant leopards and such have given me any trouble, but the moment I see camels I'm pulling up the drawbridge and taking my chances with the cavern dwellers. My normal defenses involve letting the aquifer flood the top few floors of my main stairwell, but I don't trust that to keep camels out. Sure they can't swim, but do you have any idea how much water those monsters can drink?!?

Also: If getting kicked like a camel is anything like getting kicked by a horse, that sounds like a realistic injury to me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LizardKing on August 10, 2010, 06:22:35 am
Also bear in mind that dwarves have their heads at a perfect height for a good face-kicking.

I think at one point I was running low on food and set a whole bunch of the little buggers to go fishing. It seems I didn't turn it back off, and now have enough fish to build a nice tower, should I so desire it, and yet have almost run out of booze. Fish wine, anyone?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on August 10, 2010, 11:10:49 am
Quote from: LizardKing on August 10, 2010, 06:22:35 am
Also bear in mind that dwarves have their heads at a perfect height for a good face-kicking.

Sigged. :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: einstein9073 on August 10, 2010, 06:18:39 pm
Quote from: Shurhaian on August 09, 2010, 02:48:21 am
Child Protection Services would go into apoplexy get murdered with MAGMA if they found themselves inside DF.
Fixed =)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nbonaparte on August 11, 2010, 12:12:02 am
Apparently 6 warriors with legendary+5 fighting, dodging, shield, armor, wrestling, and axe decked out in full adamantine armor don't have a chance against HFS. I want this to work. Maybe if I add speed:0 and make them legendary+50 in runesmith or something.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on August 11, 2010, 05:43:35 pm
Quote from: nbonaparte on August 11, 2010, 12:12:02 am
Apparently 6 warriors with legendary+5 fighting, dodging, shield, armor, wrestling, and axe decked out in full adamantine armor don't have a chance against HFS. I want this to work. Maybe if I add speed:0 and make them legendary+50 in runesmith or something.

ballistas.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Glech on August 11, 2010, 06:48:33 pm
When trying to build a channel my dwarfs could drink from, my miners drowned.
All two of them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shurhaian on August 11, 2010, 08:35:07 pm
That actually reminds me of one effort back in the 40d days. I'd, er, located the underground river, and had ordered a tunnel dug to it, and a channel along one side of said tunnel. That went all right. But around the time I ordered the river breached, I started seeing blue alerts on my dwarves. I'd been so busy with my excavations that I hadn't kept up the booze stocks. Not that I had that many barrels to spare anyway, as I recall.

I figured, no problem, I'll just finish the breach and that'll be that.

I had forgotten to take into account DF's sometimes wonky fluid dynamics. Dwarves died of thirst before I realised that the water was nowhere close to the reservoir and extended my water-source zones along the tunnel.

Since then, I have usually used pump-filled reservoirs, often powered by a water wheel right beside them. Takes longer to set up, but the pumps make them SO much more reliable.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 11, 2010, 09:41:32 pm
Background: I run a lightly modded version of DF with a few more metals and a few more weapons and armor types. Generally speaking, I name all the dorfs after my friends and I, and I give them fairly realistic skill sets. I, being the only avid martial artist of the bunch, usually wind up as our first (and usually only for quite some time) soldier.

Well, on my last save, I get about a year and a half in. I haven't quite gotten my metal industry set up, as I'm busy carving out living space for my workforce of about 30, and trying to make stuff to trade with three traders all at once during each season. I also haven't yet set up defenses, as I keep trading all my weapons and mechanisms away for extra food and booze.

Along comes a black bear. Everyone scatters, except me. I decide to pick up my bastard sword, forget that I'm not wearing any armor, and charge. How heroic stupid of me.

MaximumZero cancels breathing: Mauled to death by bear.

*facepalm* Way to go, dumbass me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 11, 2010, 11:58:07 pm
Quote from: nbonaparte on August 11, 2010, 12:12:02 am
Apparently 6 warriors with legendary+5 fighting, dodging, shield, armor, wrestling, and axe decked out in full adamantine armor don't have a chance against HFS.

Go for fifty and try again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: corhen on August 12, 2010, 04:09:02 pm
building a long 1 tile wide entrance to my fortress, with a magma pit on either side, with walls on both sides of that
|0▓0|
|0▓0|
|0▓0|
Ect... designed so that the goblins were forced to walk along here to enter my base, while being pelted by a balista, hopefully making them dodge into the magma
had my entire combat force out for hunting dangerous beasts, when a siege was sprung upon me, so i did the sensible thing,i told my entire force to retreat to inside the fortress, so that they could take on the survivors.
Along the path back, some goblins got into bow range, and every one of my dwarves ended up dodging into the magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 12, 2010, 04:50:59 pm
Use hatches or floor grates for a 3-tile hallway, retract them when goblins get there. You'll probably end up crisping enough of them when you retract them to break the squad.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lanceleoghauni on August 12, 2010, 04:56:53 pm
Oh dear.

Guess who just smoothed the floors under his farm plots...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 12, 2010, 05:17:23 pm
NEW FARMS FOR YOU!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hailthefish on August 12, 2010, 09:33:16 pm
I always build reusable irrigation systems for exactly that reason. Never know what might happen.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 12, 2010, 09:37:54 pm
Except IIRC dwarves will actually make an attempt to keepsmoothed stone clean (of, say, mud).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on August 12, 2010, 09:40:28 pm
I flooded my hospital, twice. It was a problem with me forgetting how water worked and channeling into a brook for a well source, flood two was left longer so it filled up more, and thus was harder to empty.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 12, 2010, 09:44:29 pm
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on August 12, 2010, 09:40:28 pm
I flooded my hospital, twice. It was a problem with me forgetting how water worked and channeling into a brook for a well source, flood two was left longer so it filled up more, and thus was harder to empty.

Open the door and pray?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on August 12, 2010, 09:45:41 pm
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on August 12, 2010, 09:44:29 pm
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on August 12, 2010, 09:40:28 pm
I flooded my hospital, twice. It was a problem with me forgetting how water worked and channeling into a brook for a well source, flood two was left longer so it filled up more, and thus was harder to empty.

Open the door and pray?
Actually, I broke down the double doors to the hospital both times. It moved 10 tiles then went down two stairwells to my workshop room where it puddled a little then evaporated.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lanceleoghauni on August 12, 2010, 10:41:53 pm
I've never seen them clean up mud.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jerobe on August 12, 2010, 11:04:47 pm
Quote from: Twobeard on July 23, 2010, 09:15:58 pm
Realising after more than 2 years of playing this game that you can hotkey locations. Armok bugger me.

What, no way?? Oh my Armok.

I've been playing actively during the last two weeks on a now 14 year fortress. The time I've spent jumping and scrolling between ground-level and 133 z-levels down where I recently (as in 4 years game time ago) decided to move all facilities is just so... I had even chained rare animals like giant cheetahs at different z-levels to use as reference for fast scrolling.

Well okay that's one more facepalm for your enjoyment.

The thing I wanted to write about though is a phenomenon I didn't know existed, curse you all for not telling me! I have always been very careful to monitor every cat that enters my fortress. The cat society in my fortress is a patriarchy that knows of no mercy for females. Now, I had also limited my fortress to 105 dwarves. Everything to spare the FPS. It was all fine when the limit was reached a few years into the game.

However a phenomenon I recently detected exempt of this limit is the dwarfsplosion. Yes, they will burst your limits and 14 years in to the game they're everywhere. I'm now at 170 dwarves. Suddenly the children waterfall idea doesn't sound so bad after all, does it? (not that it ever did to be honest) Even cats would be better than this, at least they fill a function, these things don't. They aren't even useful as makeshift slaves since they generally refuse to gather crops (standing orders checked). Of interesting note is that certain females seem to be more fertile than others. Even though I have like 70 children they all belong to a few families. One of my legendary siege operators has an entire ant trail following her, effectively bottle-necking everything in it's path. It will certainly be interesting when she has to fire a ballista and they're all standing in the way. I finally got my head out of my ass and blocked fertility entirely but the damage is done and I'm down to 35 FPS which might seem good to some but my aim was to keep it much higher.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 12, 2010, 11:25:24 pm
Dude. At 7 dorfs on a 3x3 map, I top out at 35.


...dude...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on August 13, 2010, 12:13:00 am
Quote from: MaximumZero on August 12, 2010, 11:25:24 pm
Dude. At 7 dorfs on a 3x3 map, I top out at 35.


...dude...

Drop it to 2x2 and you'll hit 50 FPS. At least I do. :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 13, 2010, 01:29:29 am
I suppose, but I already find the 3x3...confining. Also, I did some monkeying around with the d_init file and got a little bit more respectable speed on my 3x3.

Also, my rig is a 6 year old single core. That doesn't help matters. Still runs decently, but I'd prefer a little more performance.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on August 13, 2010, 03:02:29 am
Quote from: MaximumZero on August 13, 2010, 01:29:29 am
I suppose, but I already find the 3x3...confining. Also, I did some monkeying around with the d_init file and got a little bit more respectable speed on my 3x3.

Also, my rig is a 6 year old single core. That doesn't help matters. Still runs decently, but I'd prefer a little more performance.

900 Megahertz Single core with 256 MB of RAM.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hailthefish on August 13, 2010, 03:14:19 am
Quote from: jerobe on August 12, 2010, 11:04:47 pm

The thing I wanted to write about though is a phenomenon I didn't know existed, curse you all for not telling me! I have always been very careful to monitor every cat that enters my fortress. The cat society in my fortress is a patriarchy that knows of no mercy for females. Now, I had also limited my fortress to 105 dwarves. Everything to spare the FPS. It was all fine when the limit was reached a few years into the game.

However a phenomenon I recently detected exempt of this limit is the dwarfsplosion. Yes, they will burst your limits and 14 years in to the game they're everywhere. I'm now at 170 dwarves. Suddenly the children waterfall idea doesn't sound so bad after all, does it? (not that it ever did to be honest) Even cats would be better than this, at least they fill a function, these things don't. They aren't even useful as makeshift slaves since they generally refuse to gather crops (standing orders checked). Of interesting note is that certain females seem to be more fertile than others. Even though I have like 70 children they all belong to a few families. One of my legendary siege operators has an entire ant trail following her, effectively bottle-necking everything in it's path. It will certainly be interesting when she has to fire a ballista and they're all standing in the way. I finally got my head out of my ass and blocked fertility entirely but the damage is done and I'm down to 35 FPS which might seem good to some but my aim was to keep it much higher.

There's an option in d_init to restrict the max number of children. I think it's also flexible, but should prevent massive dwarfsplosions.

Also, the dwarves with the tons of kids tend to be the dwarves that spend the most time hanging around with other dwarves, in my experience. Siege operator sounds like it fits this pattern. The busier your dwarves, the less socializing happens, thus less marriages, thus less kids. The problem is that once a dwarf is married, they have kids by quantum pollination, the same way animals breed. So the good news is that you can prevent the problem somewhat. The bad news is, you can't resolve it once it happens without slaughtering some dwarves.



Also.. I get about 100 FPS until I get around 50 dwarves. It slows to something comfortable, and doesn't start get unbearably slow until around 150 dwarves, when it gets to about 20 FPS.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Libelnon on August 13, 2010, 07:03:09 am
Quote from: FuzzyDoom on August 13, 2010, 03:02:29 am
900 Megahertz Single core with 256 MB of RAM.

you really like to flaunt that, huh?

Ah well. My old laptop was of comparable spec. Although I never did run Dorf Fort on it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on August 13, 2010, 02:44:59 pm
Quote from: Libelnon on August 13, 2010, 07:03:09 am
Quote from: FuzzyDoom on August 13, 2010, 03:02:29 am
900 Megahertz Single core with 256 MB of RAM.

you really like to flaunt that, huh?

Ah well. My old laptop was of comparable spec. Although I never did run Dorf Fort on it.

It makes some people feel better about their own POS. There's not much lower you can go unless your computer is as old as I am.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dendou on August 13, 2010, 04:25:46 pm
So, I started playing the new version (haven't played since 40d) and I'm a tad rusty.  things are going well and I'm in a place that's frozen over with a river running through the middle and a stream intersecting(both frozen) a few Zs up it right next to where my dwarves started.  I'm thinking, "lovely, I can place my entrance on the surface of the river underneath the stream.  My caravans can enter via either end of the river and the frozen stream above will look cool."  well, all is going fine and I just got my autosave for summer's start, and then, I see the snow covering everywhere is meltifying itself.  I've built a small hill inside my fort beyond where the stream falls so, hopefully, it will just runoff into the river or not actually melt at all.  perhaps later on I shall make my entrance run right through this not so forever frozen waterfall.  yes, an entrance made of pure glass, but clear glass, no crystal, with gem windows of clear diamonds, and a magma pillar running through the middle, and elf corpses bleeding slowly upstream so it is forever red with blood, and I'll mod fire imps to war imps and have them guard... oh armok, I've missed dwarf fortress :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ungulateman on August 13, 2010, 09:35:09 pm
@FuzzyDoom

My computer isn't quite as slow as yours (I think it's a bit under 1.4 GHz, with maybe 512 MB of RAM?), but it's a laptop.

It all but exploded when I tried to gen a Large world.

In other news, downloading Ironhand's 0.47, playing it, then having 0.48 come out the next morning. >_>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 14, 2010, 09:04:11 am
Quote from: FuzzyDoom on August 13, 2010, 03:02:29 am
Quote from: MaximumZero on August 13, 2010, 01:29:29 am
I suppose, but I already find the 3x3...confining. Also, I did some monkeying around with the d_init file and got a little bit more respectable speed on my 3x3.

Also, my rig is a 6 year old single core. That doesn't help matters. Still runs decently, but I'd prefer a little more performance.

900 Megahertz Single core with 256 MB of RAM.

2.97Ghz single core Celron D with 1.5GB of ram. Mine should really be running faster. WTF, computer!?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haspen on August 14, 2010, 10:29:20 am
1.4Ghz single core CPU with 256 ram and 32mb graphic card + 6gb harddrive, go beat that.

But, if I keep the embark small, and fiddle with settings a bit, I can get steady 40-50FPS, which is more than playable for me :)

Meh, enough of OT.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hailthefish on August 14, 2010, 01:19:54 pm
I should try to run DF on my Grandma's computer. Dunno the processor, but it's got Windows XP and 8 MB of RAM. Yes. 8 MB.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on August 14, 2010, 01:56:49 pm
Quote from: hailthefish on August 14, 2010, 01:19:54 pm
I should try to run DF on my Grandma's computer. Dunno the processor, but it's got Windows XP and 8 MB of RAM. Yes. 8 MB.

That wouldn't be Windows XP. And do it...FOR SCIENCE!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hailthefish on August 14, 2010, 02:39:00 pm
Yes. Yes it is XP.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on August 14, 2010, 08:33:31 pm
Quote from: hailthefish on August 14, 2010, 02:39:00 pm
Yes. Yes it is XP.

Whoever put XP on a computer with 8 MB of RAM needs to facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kilakan on August 14, 2010, 09:10:45 pm
Quote from: FuzzyDoom on August 14, 2010, 08:33:31 pm
Quote from: hailthefish on August 14, 2010, 02:39:00 pm
Yes. Yes it is XP.

Whoever put XP on a computer with 8 MB of RAM needs to facepalm.
I don't think that would even turn on........
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hailthefish on August 15, 2010, 12:22:58 am
It did. It just ran like shit. I think the RAM chip got corrupted at some point or something, because I doubt it was BUILT with only 8 MB in it.


Anyhow, back on topic, why do my worlds always have so damn few underground Z-levels. I've been trying to plan a fort around a large underground vertical complex, and only have like 30 z-layers between the surface and the magma sea, and about a third of them are 90% cavern.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: graniteadam on August 15, 2010, 01:23:55 am
Ok here's my first facepalm moment:

(http://www.imagebucket.net/bucket/is.php?i=8362&img=Screenshot_1.jp.jpg)

A little hard to see, but basically all my bridges and stone traps are set up to keep those ambushes out. But oh yeah, when the bridge is up, there's this little crack on the lower left that goblins just come right through. Fun
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shurhaian on August 15, 2010, 05:07:55 am
A minor but recent facepalm: As I'm moving from my temporary out-of-the-wagon stockpiles to more permanent excavations, I notice that the dwarves are still going up near the wagon to drink. Not a single barrel of booze has been moved downstairs, even though the original stockpile no longer even exists. I first look at the stockpile with a barrel in it - that's my prepared food stockpile, the one nearer the dining room; the OTHER one is the booze.

Except that therein lay the problem. I'd initially conceived of them the other way around, and turned barrels in the prepared-food pile to zero because they're normally unhelpful there(since prepared food is often made in stacks vastly too big for a barrel, and rarely in stacks small enough to fit more than one to a barrel).

But when I assigned the actual stockpile permissions, I'd left it backwards. So the prepared food was permitting barrels(so far only had the empty barrel), while the booze stockpile was not.

Kind of hard to store booze without storing the barrels it's in. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zyrjello on August 15, 2010, 09:44:55 pm
I just completed my pump stack that would fuel a reservoir, a well, and a waterfall that cleans up my entrance and trade depot. Everything was set to go, and I installed that last horizontal axle to make the whole thing run.

I waited expectantly at the top layer, hoping to see water gushing out at any moment.

And I kept waiting. Nothing happened.

I started scanning the layers of the stack, and I quickly found the problem: I had installed one of the pumps backward. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: minozake on August 15, 2010, 10:53:34 pm
My dwarf bled out after a goblin siege because nobody wanted to collect him.  Also, anything to do with a claimed body, miasma, and unfilled refuse and graveyard.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on August 16, 2010, 01:37:12 am
After embarking and digging a fair distance into the mountain side, I notice that there is a lake on top of the mountain I'm digging into, such that it would be quite easy for me to dig my way in there, let the water empty out, and build a farm in all that mud. So I dig a tunnel which ends up cutting into the side of the lake... and begins about 2 feet from my fortress entrance. Yeah, that wasn't very wise. Funny, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on August 16, 2010, 04:19:42 am
Was too busy reading this thread and dug beneath an aquifer.  Almost flooded the whole place.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Libelnon on August 16, 2010, 01:28:55 pm
Quote from: melomel on August 16, 2010, 04:19:42 am
Was too busy reading this thread and dug beneath an aquifer.  Almost flooded the whole place.

Self-referential irony?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bremarv on August 16, 2010, 02:28:24 pm
Drowning Welcoming chamber 101: double check that the door into your brand new drowning welcoming chamber is actually locked before drowning greeting the humans.

Welcoming chamber 102: If not following 101, make sure the a set of controll levers are not just outside the door.

I have a feeling this is something most df players go through. Also got Urist McMoody died of thirst while most of the fortress was flooding :)
turns out it was the 6th moody dwarf claiming a workshop in a row and therefor got a small room all for himself, though someone forgot the door.

Edit: somehow none of my dwarfs, except the moody one, got killed \o/.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vulcanius on August 16, 2010, 02:47:54 pm
Today I accidentally atom-smashed my greatest legendary hammerlord Tulon Tulondeleth. I buried an empty sarcophagus in his honor.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on August 16, 2010, 03:49:15 pm
Quote from: FuzzyDoom on August 14, 2010, 08:33:31 pm
Quote from: hailthefish on August 14, 2010, 02:39:00 pm
Yes. Yes it is XP.

Whoever put XP on a computer with 8 MB of RAM needs to facepalm.

Back in '02, a guy I knew was obsessed with xp, to the point of forcing it into any computer that could possibly hold it. Somehow, he managed to get it to install to a late Pentium I (the dektop ran at about 3 frames per minute). Some people are strange.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hailthefish on August 16, 2010, 05:02:38 pm
I'm going to go look at it on friday and I'll see what the deal is with the RAM.


As far as facepalms in DF, I punched my main stairwell into the middle of a colony of antmen. With no military, or wardogs, or DOORS.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on August 16, 2010, 05:50:30 pm
Quote from: Libelnon on August 16, 2010, 01:28:55 pm
Quote from: melomel on August 16, 2010, 04:19:42 am
Was too busy reading this thread and dug beneath an aquifer.  Almost flooded the whole place.

Self-referential irony?

No, just garden variety dumb.  u_u


OT platform-wise:  I hate to admit it, but...  I have a *massive* thing for XP Pro.  After Dos/3.11/95/98...  it was actually stable.  Right now I'm clinging drowning-rat-style to my antique pc...  Gonna have to upgrade eventually, but the Windows 7 commercials make me want to kill things and I might not be smart enough for Linux.   :[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on August 16, 2010, 06:45:33 pm
Don't worry. The comercials are a lot worse then the OS. After some time to get used to it I now don't want to ever go back to XP. If only all those classic games would run on 7. Oh well, at least I got MoO2 running in DosBox.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shurhaian on August 16, 2010, 07:45:21 pm
Wondering why, when I've made kit for ten dwarves in full steel and set up the schedule accordingly, only one of them shows up to train, none of the others even stirring themselves to get gear.

Then realising that although I had set their custom professions in DwarfTherapist, I had neglected to actually induct the other trainees into the squad.

*FACEPALM*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on August 16, 2010, 08:36:19 pm
Quote from: Spectre on August 16, 2010, 06:45:33 pm
[...] If only all those classic games would run on 7. Oh well, at least I got MoO2 running in DosBox.

D:  What's the use of a PC if it doesn't play classic games?!

*is having enough trouble getting Thief 2 to run on THIS pc*

ETA:  Oh, and  on-topic:  something I am doing makes the game die.  Had to reboot a couple times and have numerous crashes.  Getting unplayable.  Think it might be multiple traps/constructions designated for building under a muddy pool.  Or the crazy moody gem setter.  Either way, whatever I did, it's getting unplayable and the fort is still young enough to abandon heartlessly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mrbigmuscles on August 16, 2010, 09:26:24 pm
I guess this isn't really my fault, but.. today I started a new world, put together an embark team carefully, and struck the earth.  However, something was happening about 40-50 zlevels down which caused large cavern collapses and corresponding drops in frame rate (i.e. to 0-2 FPS) and the game was unplayable.  A new kind of Fun?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bronimin on August 17, 2010, 05:45:18 am
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Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kg333 on August 17, 2010, 11:56:08 am
Quote from: melomel on August 16, 2010, 08:36:19 pm
Quote from: Spectre on August 16, 2010, 06:45:33 pm
[...] If only all those classic games would run on 7. Oh well, at least I got MoO2 running in DosBox.

D:  What's the use of a PC if it doesn't play classic games?!

*is having enough trouble getting Thief 2 to run on THIS pc*

Huh? Thief 2 is a relatively easy game to get to run under modern OSes, as long as you do the processor affinity fix (it doesn't like dual-cores at all).  I've got it running under both Vista and 7.

Huh...  7 = &?   :o

/offtopic

Anyways, my worst facepalm was in old 40d, shortly after I found magma.  I made an obsidian mining chamber that broke the surface near the stream for convenience, but failed to realize the effect on my defenses...cue next goblin ambush merrily walking in my back door.

KG
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: randompeep on August 17, 2010, 03:22:13 pm
Well in dining room + water pressure = Fun. Yeah. Thank Armok my main staircase led directly to the first cave. Infinite flooding space go!

Edit: On the plus side, I now have a waterfall. On my former main staircase!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dendou on August 17, 2010, 04:32:29 pm
I am building my fort's second waterfall (first is in the entrance, this one is in my central rampway)  I always built floodgates attatched to levers for any water control system just in case I doo something stupid.  well, I did something stupid, I started the waterfall without finishing it to the drainage cavern [facepalm:1].  OK, that's foolish of me but I'll just flip the lever and everything will be fine (flip), head over to floodgate and what do I see, a rock where my floodgate used to be [facealm:2].  fine, it still hasn't been too long, let's see if I can't finish this fall while it's running for a bit of FUN.  In pause and pressing . repeatedly until I'm out of this mess and I end up with 2 wounded and 1 dead of my starting 7.  well, that was fun :)

Edit: just realized I have autosave turned on and savescumbed back to the season change only to find that this exact point was right AFTER I had pulled the lever and the rock had moved into place.  then I used the tiny bit of extra time it had taken me to facepalm previously to get a headstart on drilling the waterfall.  now the whole thing is done with no dwarves harmed and, more importantly, 0 structural damage.  I feel like this should be an achievement.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rotten on August 17, 2010, 05:24:38 pm
Downloaded 31_12, decided I would leave the FPS uncapped (I normally cap it at 100).

Embark on a 4X4 area. Paused, my FPS steadily climbs. The highest I've let it go so far is 40,000. It takes 10 seconds to fall back down to 280 (6 dwarves-don't ask) after unpausing.

When I hit 150 dwarves, 70 FPS is going to feel like hell.

This was a cheap computer too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xtank5 on August 17, 2010, 05:39:56 pm
Quote from: Rotten on August 17, 2010, 05:24:38 pm
Downloaded 31_12, decided I would leave the FPS uncapped (I normally cap it at 100).

Embark on a 4X4 area. Paused, my FPS steadily climbs. The highest I've let it go so far is 40,000. It takes 10 seconds to fall back down to 280 (6 dwarves-don't ask) after unpausing.

When I hit 150 dwarves, 70 FPS is going to feel like hell.

This was a cheap computer too.

Wait, what?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 17, 2010, 05:41:48 pm
Compared to 40000? Yes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xtank5 on August 17, 2010, 05:53:29 pm
150 Dwarves at 70FPS is *Heaven*.

Quit your whining.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheDarkJay on August 17, 2010, 07:28:19 pm
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on August 17, 2010, 05:41:48 pm
Compared to 40000? Yes.

The game ticks constantly but does effectively nothing when paused. This means the FPS counter shoots waaay up. Mine goes to about that, unpause and play for awhile and it's about 400FPS with 7 dwarves uncapped =P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rotten on August 17, 2010, 07:51:15 pm
Quote from: xtank5 on August 17, 2010, 05:53:29 pm
150 Dwarves at 70FPS is *Heaven*.

Quit your whining.
No, I mean compared to almost 300 I have right now, it's going to feel sloooow, even though its very close to what I normally cap the FPS at (100). I can dig out a 10*10 room in seconds (well, until all but one miner died-but that's a different story all together-damn cave crocodiles).
What weird is that 40d was slower for me- I got 20 FPS with 80 dwarves, where you woudl think that the caverns would slow things down massively. \(o_o)/
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bronimin on August 18, 2010, 03:10:42 pm
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Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: INSANEcyborg on August 19, 2010, 01:50:02 pm
In an effort to try to get my dwarfs to clean up the fort and put away all their scattered clothing, I put a couple of cabinets in the fort's shared bedroom (each dwarf has their own bed, but they all overlap).  At first it looks like its working, the unit list starts filling with "store owned item" jobs.  After a while, I check back, and there's still stuff scattered about the fort.  Thinking I didn't have enough cabinets, I built some more.  So I wait a while, then check again.  There's still stuff all over my fort.  I then fill up the bedroom, any tile that doesn't have a bed has a cabinet.  Still doesn't work.  So I check the unit list, and to my surprise, the dwarfs are trying to store owned item.  So I watched one of them, and it turns out they were taking items out of one cabinet and putting in a different one.  Had to forbid everything before they'd go get new ones. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Durins Bane on August 19, 2010, 01:50:44 pm
Once had a large population of elephants outside my fortress. Set up some cage traps, caught around 8 in total. 6 were made into war elephants. Little did I know that in the last two there was the spawn of satan.

Had a bunch kept near the trade depot, still in cages being lugged from the outside. I built the cages and released them. Suddenly:

"URIST MCMINER CANCELS EAT: INTERRUPTED BY ELEPHANT".

Apparently two elephants weren't tame. Oh fuck. Since I liked my elephant armada, I thought I'd rather catch them again and tame them. Apparently the dumbest of the two tried to kick a miner, who proceeded to beat it to an inch of its life. It had easily 10+ broken bones and was laying in a pool of blood and vomit. I thought since the one was already pretty much dead, the other should die too.

Big mistake.

It was currently inside my workshop space (Which was in a cavern surrounded by an underground lake). My only form of an army, my militia commander and his war elephant, chased after it. Militia commander hacked it a few times as it ran, but only chipping bone and bruising fat. It ran, bleeding, around the fortress like crazy, then returned to the workshop level, where the hospital was. It ran into the narrow hospital corridor, and I knew it was over. No place to run. It then proceeded to beat the everloving shit out've the militia commander, before his elephant could arrive to help. In one last defiant act, he cut off the elephant's left ear. The elephant retreated back into the hospital and beat the expedition leader, who was just passing through, to an inch of her life, leaving them both with a broken leg and arm each, as well as lots of bruising. Beaten but alive.

The elephant was now hanging out in a tiny part of the cavern that was on a lower level, near the lake. Its presence meant that the injured could not rest. Remembering what the miner did to the other one, I quickly drafted one and sent him after it. He chased it back into the hospital...where it proceeded to, in one move, dislocate his spine with a kick, and leave him slumped against the hospital wall, crippled. Next plan of attack, naturally, was to recruit the OTHER miner. He chased the elephant toward the carpenter's shop, cornering it. Only striking it a few times in the leg and the chest, the miner was quickly beat to death, his skull caved in. This is when the demonic elephant gained a name: Lovelycircles. As a last ditched effort to bring her down, I recruited the woodworker, armed with a copper axe, and assigned two war elephants to him.

They chased her back into the hospital (WHY OF ALL PLACES?!), with the woodworker entering the main part and the elephants lagging behind in the hallway. This was her attempt at an old trick, to go around her attacker while they were inside the hospital. It had worked on the militia commander, but not the woodworker. She ran directly into the waiting elephants, while the woodworker attacked from behind. Lovelycircles, already weak from old injuries, tried to attack the woodworker, who dodged, and the three proceeded to beat her to death. She died in the hallway of the hospital, surrounded by three victims she crippled for life. The miner would make a full recovery, while the militia commander was crippled until the end. The expedition leader died, sadly, to infection shortly after the death of Lovelycircles.

It was this elephant that brought about the fort's destruction. And I had thought they were not capable of Boatmurdered-grade destruction in DF2010. Boy did I learn the hard way.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on August 19, 2010, 04:20:59 pm
Well if you wanna get really technical the elephants of Boatmurdered were bested by the simple, humble, monarch butterfly.

But yea, piss an elephant off and they are still capable of massive feats of devastation.  I mean hell, I wouldn't even wanna try to stop a baby elephant with nothing but a shortsword.  Let alone a full grown adult in confined spaces panicked out of it's mind.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 19, 2010, 04:29:26 pm
You have piqued my interest with your mentions of butterfly devastation. I would like to know more.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on August 19, 2010, 04:31:38 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on August 19, 2010, 04:29:26 pm
You have piqued my interest with your mentions of butterfly devastation. I would like to know more.

Here's Boatmurdered in all it's Elephant/Magma horror:

http://lparchive.org/LetsPlay/Boatmurdered/
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xtank5 on August 19, 2010, 04:33:29 pm
Haven't you read Boatmurdered?
Spoiler: Butterfly Devastation (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on August 19, 2010, 04:40:37 pm
Actually, (I'm not going to bother spoilering it) it was the monarch butterfly's remains that were wedging the door open, preventing StarkRavingMad Bremen from locking the dwarves in. Because of the open door, the idiot dwarves continued to run out to the elephant/cage trap corridor to stockpile the dead dwarves' clothes and get slaughtered.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 19, 2010, 04:40:56 pm
Ah, yes. I'd forgotten about that part. You may now return to your regularly scheduled facepalms.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Euld on August 19, 2010, 05:34:30 pm
Apparently, I don't need to irrigate every single square in an underground farm to build the farm.  Honestly though I'm more estatic that the water from a 1x1 murky pool is allowing me to build a 10x10 farm :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shurhaian on August 19, 2010, 05:45:29 pm
Beware. As soon as you get to a tile without mud on it, planting will probably cease. Nothing further into the farm(going by its top-down, then left to right logic) might get planted.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AngleWyrm on August 20, 2010, 12:06:13 am
So I was just digging down my main stairwell, and accidentally designated the whole thing as "mine". Result? One guy made it down the central ramp, deconstructed the ramp and levelled the area, trapping himself down there and everyone else upstairs. Nobody came to build the stairs, as he slowly starved to de--New fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on August 20, 2010, 01:26:58 pm
New fort? Why?
And why didnt you just make him a mason so he could make his own stairs?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Devonus on August 20, 2010, 07:46:15 pm
i think you just made this a double face palm moment spectre XD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shurhaian on August 20, 2010, 10:06:25 pm
Especially since the reason nobody else built the stairway was probably because they couldn't path to the stone designated for building it, because it was on the lower section with the trapped miner...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tywuzhere on August 20, 2010, 11:49:10 pm
Lol, sucks for that miner... Haha, he could've made it...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Devonus on August 21, 2010, 06:03:46 am
now for my own face palm moment, i've had my most succesful, and fort so far. I was doing great, then had a hauler go secretive on me and is still wondering around dropping his clothes randomly. then to top it off my legendary miner fell down a channel for the well system i was digging out, the aqueducts were completly inescapable, but fortunatly they were still in the process of filling ( i made it big enough to feed anypart of my fortress) and after a few moment of "aww that sucks" and forgetting bout him it clicked that i could save him, as he was close to one of the walls and passages up stairs. then almost paniced when i realized he could no longer mine bc he dropped his pick bc his "ability to grasp impaired" and had to scramble some other miners down to save him. He made it, but he's not sitting in the hospital recovering from many fractures. Just wondering though, does the "ability to grasp" thing mean he'll never hold a pick again? bc then he's USELESS
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ze Spy on August 21, 2010, 07:00:26 am
Quote from: Devonus on August 21, 2010, 06:03:46 am
now for my own face palm moment, i've had my most succesful, and fort so far. I was doing great, then had a hauler go secretive on me and is still wondering around dropping his clothes randomly. then to top it off my legendary miner fell down a channel for the well system i was digging out, the aqueducts were completly inescapable, but fortunatly they were still in the process of filling ( i made it big enough to feed anypart of my fortress) and after a few moment of "aww that sucks" and forgetting bout him it clicked that i could save him, as he was close to one of the walls and passages up stairs. then almost paniced when i realized he could no longer mine bc he dropped his pick bc his "ability to grasp impaired" and had to scramble some other miners down to save him. He made it, but he's not sitting in the hospital recovering from many fractures. Just wondering though, does the "ability to grasp" thing mean he'll never hold a pick again? bc then he's USELESS

He can Still Hold the pick , But at 1/2 the Efficentifcy

Also , i had a Pretty Big faceplam Moment :
Goblin Siege Up ahead , i Ordered a Dwarf to Pull the "Flood the Entire World with Lava" Lever when i Learned after the moment that it was the "Flood the Entire Fortress With lava" Lever
*insert Obvious Faceplam Moment Here*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jei on August 21, 2010, 11:57:53 am
My facepalms came from misunderstanding that Glass Portals would work like portals and teleport the dwarves between any two such portals, instead of acting just like normal doors.

I think such portals might be very useful in defence, but also very problematic if taken by enemy.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zagibu on August 21, 2010, 01:46:06 pm
Wut?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Metroid on August 21, 2010, 03:20:29 pm
I think he's joking.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Richard Nixon on August 21, 2010, 04:21:24 pm
(http://img138.imageshack.us/img138/2840/asdfy.png)

I think all of the men in this world are dead, my last fort only had one guy and didn't last long enough for migrants to come so we'll see what happens.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 21, 2010, 05:47:26 pm
Are you starting an Amazonian fort? I have a fear that the next guy that shows up will be emasculated immediately. The next guy after that should have the time of his life, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shurhaian on August 21, 2010, 06:31:54 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on August 21, 2010, 05:47:26 pm
The next guy after that should have the time of his life, though.

That, or, since dwarven relationships are monogamous, all the women will battle to the death for breeding rights, leaving him the only one alive...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Richard Nixon on August 21, 2010, 06:42:25 pm
I guess I'm going to have to, I haven't had any new migrants:

(http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/3258/asdfu.png)

And I have absolutely no idea at all why so many are ecstatic, considering there's a lack of beds (http://img822.imageshack.us/img822/9158/wasd.png).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on August 21, 2010, 07:13:50 pm
Quote from: Richard Nixon on August 21, 2010, 06:42:25 pm
I guess I'm going to have to, I haven't had any new migrants:

(http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/3258/asdfu.png)

And I have absolutely no idea at all why so many are ecstatic, considering there's a lack of beds (http://img822.imageshack.us/img822/9158/wasd.png).

lol wut? Is that possible in DF?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Z1000000m on August 21, 2010, 07:16:32 pm
Quote from: FuzzyDoom on August 21, 2010, 07:13:50 pm
Quote from: Richard Nixon on August 21, 2010, 06:42:25 pm
I guess I'm going to have to, I haven't had any new migrants:

(http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/3258/asdfu.png)

And I have absolutely no idea at all why so many are ecstatic, considering there's a lack of beds (http://img822.imageshack.us/img822/9158/wasd.png).

lol wut? Is that possible in DF?
You might want to check the sex in-game, I remember one time when rapist couldn't tell one sex from the other, something to do with mods afair.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Richard Nixon on August 21, 2010, 07:21:43 pm
Quote from: Z1000000m on August 21, 2010, 07:16:32 pm
You might want to check the sex in-game, I remember one time when rapist couldn't tell one sex from the other, something to do with mods afair.

Whelp, that's what happened, which is odd. It was working fine 10 minutes before that game.

I guess I'll have to use runesmith to give them sex changes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Metroid on August 21, 2010, 09:01:50 pm
There are rapists in DF?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ungulateman on August 21, 2010, 11:05:59 pm
I think he was referring to Dwarf Therapist.

Unfortunate choice of words.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 21, 2010, 11:14:22 pm
There is a part of that utility that happens to have...unfortunate capitalization.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on August 22, 2010, 02:04:19 am
Quote
I'll take The Rapists for 100, Trebeck?

In actual facepalming--locked random mooks and the military into various small spaces, due to walling-self-in/door-forbidding dumbness.

Thank god I noticed before everyone with any sort of fighting skills died.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: surturhero on August 22, 2010, 03:11:30 pm
Just switched fropm 4d to latest update. First fort 51 strong no losses, thinking thats gotta be a new record. First goblin ambush shows up, 4 lashers 1 hammer.
Send military, they get slaughtered
stone traps, avoided
peasant draft, slaughtered
second draft, slaughtered
End: Goblins no casualties, Dwarfs 51 dead. :'(
(Best I got was one lasher with a broken arm, and another has my legendary spear in her gut which somehow did nothing)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Organum on August 22, 2010, 03:28:26 pm
What were your military stats? Equipment, unit type?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Johuotar on August 22, 2010, 04:14:44 pm
Quote from: Organum on August 22, 2010, 03:28:26 pm
What were your military stats? Equipment, unit type?

Those things don't matter, the goblins had lashes.

Only the amount of lashers matters when theres 1 or more lasher enemies around, and he probably had none.

Lashes are sickly imba-lanced.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Organum on August 22, 2010, 04:26:31 pm
That's disheartening.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on August 22, 2010, 05:19:02 pm
If I recall correctly, lashes are war hammers on a rope. War hammers with tiny tiny heads. So they concentrate the force of the impact in one tiny spot.
Ordinary lashes do that and it's badass, this is like a lash made from super heavy matter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Organum on August 22, 2010, 06:28:06 pm
Do we get to have those?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 22, 2010, 09:41:14 pm
They're not hard to mod into the raws.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on August 22, 2010, 10:04:33 pm
So, I genned a world with no cavern layers... my civilization has no access to any subterranean plants; no plump helmet, no sweet pods, no tower cap, no rock nuts...

and, of course, no above ground plants either.

At that point, I just gave half my dorfs herbalism, bought extra axes, and brought along leather to make bags for seeds, because it's time for a surprise above ground fortress!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on August 23, 2010, 01:26:40 am
Quote from: Organum on August 22, 2010, 06:28:06 pm
Do we get to have those?

You can trade for them, if I remember correctly. Humans have them? I think?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shurhaian on August 23, 2010, 06:31:41 am
I've certainly had migrants arrive with Lasher skill.

But then, I've also had them arrive with Pikeman skill, and they can't use anything in the Pike category without modding a dwarf-sized one in, so yeah...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shadowclaimer on August 23, 2010, 06:51:12 am
I built a massive defense to stop all intruders, then dug underneath my fortress and found two forgotten beasts in a short period of time. The first one got chopped in half instantly by my badass axedwarf, the second instantly murdered said axedwarf and proceeded to systematically murder 200 dwarves because I had no defense underneath my fortress..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: newto on August 23, 2010, 05:05:30 pm
It's truly amazing how such small mistakes can snowball completely out of control.

For some reason, my goblin sieges always seem to start just as my caravans are are getting in, and this was no exception. Normally I don't care, the humans and elves don't have anything I need, but this was a dwarven caravan carrying much needed flux stones, as well as coal and lignite (I have magma forges, but I don't like cutting down trees to make fuel).

I have designed my main entrance so that there is a passage from the outside to the inside that I can seal on each end with drawbridges, and the trade depot is off to the side of this passage, separated by retractable bridge. Above is the standard chamber of magma with multiple hatches to dump a large quantity of magma onto the goblin hordes.

Once the first squad of gobbos get into the chamber, I realize they are armed with bows and decide to leave the retractable bridge to the depot open, thinking maybe they could defend themselves. They didn't. Anyway, the rest of the goblins and trolls wander in slowly, so I close raise the outer bridge...forgetting about the depot bridge. Magma quickly floods the depot, ignites the coal, and begins melting my flux and all the other items inside. This was unfortunate, but I made a mistake, oh well. I forbid all the burning item and empty the floodzone and start cleaning up the mess that's left. Everything is back to normal.

ELVES

Spring rolls around and that brings the elven caravan. Meh, they have nothing I want, just wood and clothing, don't need any of that, so I can just ignore them. Can anyone see where this is going?

I get "unpacking goods" message and suddenly remember the molten metal and burning coal. The trade depot is filled with more smoke than normal, and a purple gas that turns out to be boiling wine. The elves quickly pack up, but not before some die and some bins break open. My genius dwarves decide to run in and claim items, in the process receiving serious burns (which I don't notice), a couple minutes later I get a "Urist McDead has bled to death" followed by several more. This tantrum spiral has lasted 3 seasons, dropped me from 154 dwarves to 71, and has only just now started to level out.

All of this because I left a bridge unretracted.

I have subsequently redesigned my entrance to use a draw bridge to protect merchants from ranged attacks
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gutanoth on August 23, 2010, 05:25:56 pm
Well, this probably doesn't seem too bad compared to some of the ones' others have had, but when I was starting out, I didn't realise that constructions such as farms and walls could be designated  in larger squares. so my first farms consisted of 100 smaller farms all connecting. that was fun. Or so I thought. I'd read about adamantine being so amazing, so got to work digging it out of a vein I found in a later fort. Then they came. I became very fearful of them for a very long while.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vikenator2 on August 23, 2010, 06:56:26 pm
Okay, I just had a really embarassing facepalm. The fort was fairly large, and had about 75 dwarves. I had decided to clean up the dining room, so I used the mass-dump option. Later, long after I had saved, I get the message "Urist McWoodworker has starved to death." Then more dwarves starved. The farms had just stopped for some reason. I was sure I had plump helmet seeds left, so I checked the status screen. The seeds had been forbidden. Turns out when I mass-dumped the rocks, I accidentally dumped the seeds as well. *Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Evergod41 on August 23, 2010, 08:05:58 pm
Added the [DRAGONFIREBREATH] without the [FIREIMMUNE_SUPER], melted after the first attack... though the wave of flame was awesome.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SolkaTruesilver on August 24, 2010, 11:00:07 am
My worst Facepalm moment was when I discovered

1- The existence of Bins
2- The use of Bins

I've never been more dumbstruct. I stared at my 6-levels warehouses, with all stockpiles cluttered with 1 item/square. All gems. All metal bars. All weapon. EVERY FUCKING INDIVIDUAL BOLTS.

All crafts..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on August 24, 2010, 11:57:22 am
Quote from: SolkaTruesilver on August 24, 2010, 11:00:07 am
My worst Facepalm moment was when I discovered

1- The existence of Bins
2- The use of Bins

I've never been more dumbstruct. I stared at my 6-levels warehouses, with all stockpiles cluttered with 1 item/square. All gems. All metal bars. All weapon. EVERY FUCKING INDIVIDUAL BOLTS.

All crafts..
Oh boy :D
Only six levels?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dahenk on August 24, 2010, 12:20:28 pm
Quote from: SolkaTruesilver on August 24, 2010, 11:00:07 am
EVERY FUCKING INDIVIDUAL BOLTS.
I think you still have to do that in order for the marksdwarves to pick them up. At least the last stack in the bin can't be reached when I've tried.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SolkaTruesilver on August 24, 2010, 12:20:54 pm
Quote from: Spectre on August 24, 2010, 11:57:22 am
Quote from: SolkaTruesilver on August 24, 2010, 11:00:07 am
My worst Facepalm moment was when I discovered

1- The existence of Bins
2- The use of Bins

I've never been more dumbstruct. I stared at my 6-levels warehouses, with all stockpiles cluttered with 1 item/square. All gems. All metal bars. All weapon. EVERY FUCKING INDIVIDUAL BOLTS.

All crafts..
Oh boy :D
Only six levels?

You don't want to know how big were these levels. Let's just say that you could have used my fortress as the warehouse for the West Coast.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 24, 2010, 12:28:09 pm
Quote from: Dahenk on August 24, 2010, 12:20:28 pm
Quote from: SolkaTruesilver on August 24, 2010, 11:00:07 am
EVERY FUCKING INDIVIDUAL BOLTS.
I think you still have to do that in order for the marksdwarves to pick them up. At least the last stack in the bin can't be reached when I've tried.

Really? It never seems to be a problem for me. Maybe the game is stealth forbidding them or you don't have an ammo profile set up?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SolkaTruesilver on August 24, 2010, 12:35:27 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on August 24, 2010, 12:28:09 pm
Quote from: Dahenk on August 24, 2010, 12:20:28 pm
Quote from: SolkaTruesilver on August 24, 2010, 11:00:07 am
EVERY FUCKING INDIVIDUAL BOLTS.
I think you still have to do that in order for the marksdwarves to pick them up. At least the last stack in the bin can't be reached when I've tried.

Really? It never seems to be a problem for me. Maybe the game is stealth forbidding them or you don't have an ammo profile set up?

.40d user here, so I don't know if "ammo profile" applies...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 24, 2010, 12:37:51 pm
Oh, gotcha. I came in after .31.03 was intro'd. I've never played 40d.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SolkaTruesilver on August 24, 2010, 12:44:09 pm
What I meant is, if there is a stack of 25 bolts together lumped as a single item, my dorfs would put them in a single tile. But if there was 25x 1-bolt stacks, the dorfs would use 25 frakking tiles!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snappydude on August 24, 2010, 03:59:58 pm
Population ~60. Fort is starting to thrive. Getting a decent bronze industry running (haven't found the flux yet). Two full squads of useless migrants putting on pieces of bronze armor, straight from the forge (ow?). Suddenly: An ambush! Curse them! x2. That's fine, I think to myself. I'll just dump them in my magma moat when they go to cross the drawbridge. At worst I'll have to seal off until the weapons/armor are finished.

I look around for the drawbridge lever... Uh oh.

Having forgotten to actually connect my drawbridge to anything (titular facepalm), I activate my half-armed, half-armored immigrant squads and send them to intercept the gobbos on the drawbridge. They are slaughtered to a dwarf without inflicting any casualties on the invaders, who gleefully swarm into my fort and start doing their thang. Uh oh.

I draft my two legendary miners (who were married last season) into my now-empty military. A satisfying level of carnage ensues and the goblins are obliterated. Tragically, only one of the miners survives. She mourns the death of her husband. Population ~35.

I start cleaning up the mess. Morale is low. The legendary feast hall and dormitory don't seem to be cutting it. The armorer goes melancholy (sadface). The carpenter tantrums, killing my weaponsmith (!!) and mason. I dump him in the volcano. As the only one with any experience fighting, I appoint the heroic miner as my militia commander, in the hopes that her badassery will rub off on the new migrants/recruits that just arrived. A perfectly logical decision. Except in hindsight, it may have been too soon. Which I realized when she berserked. Uh oh.

I'll leave what followed mostly to the imagination. Ok, I won't. She proceeded to slaughter every living thing she saw with a Bronze Battle Axe. Chunks everywhere. It was a mess. Finally, her rampage was ended by one of her former students, who punched her brain out through her skull. Population: five (FIVE!!) miserable dwarves. O_O

I abandoned soon after that. Lesson learned: test traps of fiery doom BEFORE you need them. Also: have a plan B that doesn't involve suicide squads? Also: don't give your best combat gear to someone who is on the edge? I guess those are all good tips for life in general.
 

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on August 24, 2010, 05:31:25 pm
Quote from: SolkaTruesilver on August 24, 2010, 12:44:09 pm
What I meant is, if there is a stack of 25 bolts together lumped as a single item, my dorfs would put them in a single tile. But if there was 25x 1-bolt stacks, the dorfs would use 25 frakking tiles!!

Before the 2010 release, the hunter/archer would only bring the ONE bolt with him, if that was all that was in the stack.
...it rarely ended well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nyuura on August 24, 2010, 09:28:58 pm
I just forgot how to remove slope tiles. Geez, I'm such a freakin' n00b!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Organum on August 24, 2010, 09:33:09 pm
It's "Z", if you were still wondering.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ouroborus on August 25, 2010, 03:06:15 am
Not so much a face palm, but more of a wtf: I had built a series of 7x7x5 cisterns for a flooding trap. There's stairs down the side of each of them and they're connected via tunnels at their bottoms. While checking them out to make sure they weren't flooding anything. I noticed a cat swimming around in one of them. I figured he had gotten pushed in from the flow filling them up. It was a pet, so I started figuring out who owned it and where to set up the coffin. I checked it again and thought it was drowning and about to die. It was at the bottom of a cistern that was filling it's third level.

I checked back on a few turns later and couldn't find it or a corpse. After looking around a bit, I found it climbing out of another cistern with a perch in it's mouth. It had gone in, dove to the bottom, killed a perch, swam along the bottom for about 100 tiles through an underwater tunnel and climbed out.

I know cats can swim, but my belief was these are like our domestic cats and prefer not to get wet. Now I discover that they're more like lions.

Quote
Tirist Iklistmeng, Cat (Tame)
"Tirist Whisperedlashed"
Pet of Sarvesh Tobulmedtob, ♂

A small mammalian carnivore. It is usually domestic and hunts vermin.

He is gigantic. His hair is russet. His ears are ash gray. His tail is charcoal. His head is dark brown. His front paws are gray. His rear paws are burnt sienna. His skin is pale pink. His eyes are amber.

As for Sarvesh "Canyonblockade", he likes cats "for their aloofness."

(Hmm, he also likes battle axes, flasks, and backpacks. Sounds like he wants to be in the army.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JAFANZ on August 25, 2010, 06:39:48 am
Quote from: ouroborus on August 25, 2010, 03:06:15 am
Not so much a face palm, but more of a wtf: I had built a series of 7x7x5 cisterns for a flooding trap. There's stairs down the side of each of them and they're connected via tunnels at their bottoms. While checking them out to make sure they weren't flooding anything. I noticed a cat swimming around in one of them. I figured he had gotten pushed in from the flow filling them up. It was a pet, so I started figuring out who owned it and where to set up the coffin. I checked it again and thought it was drowning and about to die. It was at the bottom of a cistern that was filling it's third level.

I checked back on a few turns later and couldn't find it or a corpse. After looking around a bit, I found it climbing out of another cistern with a perch in it's mouth. It had gone in, dove to the bottom, killed a perch, swam along the bottom for about 100 tiles through an underwater tunnel and climbed out.

I know cats can swim, but my belief was these are like our domestic cats and prefer not to get wet. Now I discover that they're more like lions.

I believe it's Tigers who like to swim, it's a Siberian in that semi-famous pic that's been floating around the 'net for the last few years.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: James.Denholm on August 25, 2010, 08:52:19 am
Quote from: Monty Python
Cats! With aqua-lungs!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Segnaro on August 25, 2010, 08:59:40 am
I was trying to build myself an indoor waterfall to keep my dwarves happy and clean.  For some reason, though it had worked for a few minutes and nearly flooded my fortress, it refused to work when I reassembled it after I disassembled the windmill and made some adjustments.  I figure I needed to pump all the water out to the surface, and muck around in the little basin to figure out what was wrong. 

I had two individual pump operators working at it, when all of a sudden, the upper operator stops working due to "Dangerous conditions" or something similar.  I paused and looked around the top, and realized the surface was covered with rapidly expanding water and my dwarf was nowhere in sight.  Apparently, I had left a tile open on the diagonal, which allowed the water to sweep the operator down into the water-logged 1x1 tile, which was STILL being flooded with water. 

So what I'm trying to say is my dwarf drowned because I had forgotten that water also tends to travel through diagonals.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: V12US on August 25, 2010, 09:14:06 am
I used to think complaints about the draft came from dwarves that slept in bedrooms without any doors.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haspen on August 25, 2010, 09:20:49 am
Quote from: V12US on August 25, 2010, 09:14:06 am
I used to think complaints about the draft came from dwarves that slept in bedrooms without any doors.

I thought like that as well. Until I read articles about thoughts and military.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Malakai Makaisson on August 25, 2010, 04:53:41 pm
Although I've only been playing for a while, I just realised you can designate a wall to be made out of all the same material, rather than designating it one at a time.

It used to take quite a while for large floors...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on August 25, 2010, 11:51:02 pm
My diagnoser was possessed.

First facepalm:  He wanted bones.  He grabbed a kobold foot or something, and turned it into a bone stack.  Apparently moods override the not-butchering-sapients thing.

Instead of letting him grab kobold/werewolf part and then forbidding them, so he'd be forced to turn my pile-of-sapient-parts into useable bones, I just forbade everything.  Then I sent my military out to a few unicorns for him.

Second facepalm:  What do you mean a unicorn bone artifact hatch cover is only worth 4800?!  Oh, wait...  didn't someone say something about bone artifacts being bugged in 2010?

*face.  palm.*

Oh well.  At least the military survived unscathed.  Time for some unicorn tallow roasts!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on August 25, 2010, 11:51:34 pm
Quote from: melomel on August 25, 2010, 11:51:02 pm
My diagnoser was possessed.

First facepalm:  He wanted bones.  He grabbed a kobold foot or something, and turned it into a bone stack.  Apparently moods override the not-butchering-sapients thing.

Instead of letting him grab bits of kobold/werewolf and then forbidding them after stackification, so he'd be forced to turn my pile-of-sapient-parts into useable bones, I just forbade everything.  Then I sent my military out to a few unicorns for him.

Second facepalm:  What do you mean a unicorn bone artifact hatch cover is only worth 4800?!  Oh, wait...  didn't someone say something about bone artifacts being bugged in 2010?

*face.  palm.*

Oh well.  At least the military survived unscathed.  Time for some unicorn tallow roasts!

And THEN I hit quote instead of modify to correct a typo.

FACE.  PALM.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Khift on August 26, 2010, 09:37:50 am
I just realized that one of my marksdwarf squads had their training schedule set at "Train (1 minimum)" from back when there was only two of them. No wonder they weren't training for shit.

/facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Johuotar on August 26, 2010, 01:21:45 pm
Woah you can do that!?  :o

No wonder my dorfs aren't training...

Failpalm  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on August 26, 2010, 01:34:54 pm
... 7 year old fortress... a military of 36 (2 died recently)... and I still have them on the same training schedule from year one when the total military numbers could be counted on one hand. 

I think we may have a rare and elusive forumwide facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BurningLed on August 26, 2010, 06:36:59 pm
What's that, you say?  It only takes 1 z-level of wall to completely dam a river?  Those goblins can now wander right ahead into your fortress through those failed irrigation attempts you never bothered to wall off?  That's too bad. On the bright side, those failed irrigation attempts had finally drained out, just before they were used as a break-in point.

R.I.P Datanlibash  :'(.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LizardKing on August 27, 2010, 09:49:14 am
Quote from: SolkaTruesilver on August 24, 2010, 11:00:07 am
My worst Facepalm moment was when I discovered

1- The existence of Bins
2- The use of Bins

I've never been more dumbstruct. I stared at my 6-levels warehouses, with all stockpiles cluttered with 1 item/square. All gems. All metal bars. All weapon. EVERY FUCKING INDIVIDUAL BOLTS.

All crafts..

Oh hell, you can do that?

LizardKing cancelled lunchbreak: Facepalming
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Euld on August 27, 2010, 04:43:54 pm
I've savescummed probably a dozen times now, and regardless of how many times I try, it looks like the losses in my awesome castle in flux hills with metaphormic bedrock next to a brook in a canyon will be steep.  I thought the bridge and wall of floodgates would be ready in time for a goblin ambush, but I guessed wrong.  Once I managed to get all my dwarves back inside, but then one rushed out for no apparent reason, got cut to pieces by goblins, and the rest of the fortress ran out to grab their forbidden socks or something.

edit: ok! managed to save all but two dwarves.  I gave up on my mechanic/woodcutter (one of the original 7) because natural selection demanded it so.  She wouldn't stop running into the goblin ambush with the dwarf diplomat in tow.  Second one went stark raving mad and eventually committed suicide because of rampant pet slaughter and death of the mechanic/woodcutter.  I'd say I got off easy.  But then I facepalmed again when a cave-in nearly killed two miners, and I can't seem to get the doctors to perform properly to save their lives before they die of infection...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Saposhiente on August 28, 2010, 04:20:58 am
Quote from: Greiger on August 26, 2010, 01:34:54 pm
... 7 year old fortress... a military of 36 (2 died recently)... and I still have them on the same training schedule from year one when the total military numbers could be counted on one hand. 

I think we may have a rare and elusive forumwide facepalm.
That's not much more... I can count to 31 on one hand! (In binary :P)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bremarv on August 28, 2010, 06:15:32 am
fail 1: neglecting defense of my east brigde and courtyard because everything so far, meaning goblins, merchants and immigrants, have arrived so they where forced to use the west entrance by the rivers.

fail 2: no advanced warning system on eiter entrance. the area around the east one is usually swarmed with dwarves so they serve as warning, at the cost of an usless dwarf or three. not so much on the east one. got an ambush warning when the first one walked into the traps, which of course is on the fortress side. by the time I got the bridge closed, the goblins where busy slaugthering civilians left and right.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Evergod41 on August 28, 2010, 05:50:12 pm
Quote from: Saposhiente on August 28, 2010, 04:20:58 am
That's not much more... I can count to 31 on one hand! (In binary :P)

It took my until 16 before I realized that was exact, and possible.....

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Phreak on August 28, 2010, 08:50:20 pm
Facepalm.....realizing that after action reporter download for DF is 3 months old...then realizing that there is a forum and a development website for DF and eventually finding out there is a wiki, wow that is one horrible facepalm.(this was some time ago(June 2009))
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tommy on August 28, 2010, 10:22:15 pm
Sent a miner to dig out a frozen river, next to a pocket of unfrozen water - which immediately spread from said pocket to the miner's feet, before freezing solid and turning him into a tasty ice-based dorf snack.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JAFANZ on August 29, 2010, 02:49:05 am
Quote from: Evergod41 on August 28, 2010, 05:50:12 pm
Quote from: Saposhiente on August 28, 2010, 04:20:58 am
That's not much more... I can count to 31 on one hand! (In binary :P)

It took my until 16 before I realized that was exact, and possible.....

*facepalm*

There's 10 types of people in the world...  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: INSANEcyborg on August 29, 2010, 10:38:33 am
I decided to mix things up a bit and built an incinerator instead of an atom smasher.  Just a hollow shaft up to dump things in.  It had a graphite block road on the bottom, connected by a granite door, and a ramp leading up to dump things in.  I added a little bit of magma with DFhack to start the fire.  The idea was to dump everything in there, when the fire burned out I could go in and salvage anything that didn't burn, mostly metal that could be melted down.

The problem?  Fire safe does not mean fire proof.  I didn't realize that fire, unlike magma, will heat up adjacent tiles.  Or that fire burns hot enough to melt some types of stone, like the granite door I used.  Also, I didn't realize that when going though the stocks screen, I had unforbidden some of the items dumped.  Sure enough, some dwarf came by to pick something up, walking right into the fire.  He got about 10 tiles away before he started bleeding from his melted-off fat, and bleed out after another 10 tiles.

P.S.   Granite melts at 11440 degrees, and according to DFhack, fire is 11612 degrees.  It also melted (and came close to boiling) some zinc cages I had thrown in.   As for the creatures inside those cages...  well, they were no worse off then the creatures from the wooden cages.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McTaverish on August 29, 2010, 01:58:18 pm
Quote from: INSANEcyborg on August 29, 2010, 10:38:33 am
I decided to mix things up a bit and built an incinerator instead of an atom smasher.  Just a hollow shaft up to dump things in.  It had a graphite block road on the bottom, connected by a granite door, and a ramp leading up to dump things in.  I added a little bit of magma with DFhack to start the fire.  The idea was to dump everything in there, when the fire burned out I could go in and salvage anything that didn't burn, mostly metal that could be melted down.

The problem?  Fire safe does not mean fire proof.  I didn't realize that fire, unlike magma, will heat up adjacent tiles.  Or that fire burns hot enough to melt some types of stone, like the granite door I used.  Also, I didn't realize that when going though the stocks screen, I had unforbidden some of the items dumped.  Sure enough, some dwarf came by to pick something up, walking right into the fire.  He got about 10 tiles away before he started bleeding from his melted-off fat, and bleed out after another 10 tiles.

P.S.   Granite melts at 11440 degrees, and according to DFhack, fire is 11612 degrees.  It also melted (and came close to boiling) some zinc cages I had thrown in.   As for the creatures inside those cages...  well, they were no worse off then the creatures from the wooden cages.

At least he didn't get thirsty.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TherosPherae on August 29, 2010, 02:32:52 pm
Well, I thought I could get an easy well by channeling into a tile I knew was aquifer. I forgot that if the aquifer is on the same level as the channel designation, it will still flow out instead of just into the channel. First facepalm.

Then, I tried to stop it with magma from the nearby volcano to salvage my mines. I now have a central staircase that is flooded with either water, magma, or is blocked with obsidian. Second facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Horizonblue on August 29, 2010, 05:35:34 pm
My hunter was sent out to find food.  He found a groundhog.
There proceeded to be an epic 12 page battle between him and this ground hog.  A real, nail biting, rip-roaring, slug out with my dwarf... and a groundhog.
It lasted until I had my military come and wipe the floor with the rodent, but the hunter is still recovering from his brush with fuzzy death.
I'm not sure if I should have saved him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mikefictiti0us on August 29, 2010, 09:55:49 pm
Ugh. I'm making an above ground fortress by flooding premade shells with magma\water. I forgot to place hatches on the topmost level of my central staircase and hilarity ensued when the magma began to flood the main dining room. Cue a third of my population running around with the fat melting off their bodies.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on August 30, 2010, 12:44:52 am
Quote from: TherosPherae on August 29, 2010, 02:32:52 pm
Well, I thought I could get an easy well by channeling into a tile I knew was aquifer. I forgot that if the aquifer is on the same level as the channel designation, it will still flow out instead of just into the channel. First facepalm.

Then, I tried to stop it with magma from the nearby volcano to salvage my mines. I now have a central staircase that is flooded with either water, magma, or is blocked with obsidian. Second facepalm.

Aquifers explode water.  They are piatas of fort-flooding.  :[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: goukaryuujin on August 30, 2010, 08:27:50 pm
during a mini-siege, where all of my hunters got killed off. I sent all my war elephants out, leaving the fortress ungaurded from the now tantruming dwarf miner. I watched the fortress die in 3 minuts.  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Phreak on August 31, 2010, 02:38:17 am
Oh i feel so dumb: i had a roof of my mountain designated to be  channeled out(6x6) and there were 6 dwarfs on the roof and they had dug out all the tiles connecting to ground so that the roof fell with the 6 dwarfs(including my best hunter,miner and my only clerk/expdition leader and my best warrior) and they fell onto my massive 7x7 bridge, destroying it and falling on 2 other of my bridges,destroying them too(which had my 2 brewers and another miner as well as 2 dogs, my only cat and 3 cows) then destroying 5 layers and taking out the floor i had made to keep out the 3 forgotten beasts that were waiting under it(they could fly)....needless to say that was the worst mistake i have ever made...maybe smaller bridges and thinking about what i dig out would have saved my fortress.
oh and i had 4 other soldiers who had only just begun training and they were the first to die by the forgotten beasts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cheese on August 31, 2010, 04:30:29 am
Dwarves smash bridges when falling on them from a height?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on August 31, 2010, 04:33:37 am
Quote from: Cheese on August 31, 2010, 04:30:29 am
Dwarves smash bridges when falling on them from a height?

Cave-ins smash bridges. The dwarves just happened to be on top of one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neopolis on August 31, 2010, 05:40:48 pm
Signed up just to tell you about the death of my miner, one of the first seven.

This was my first fortress where I was actually doing cool projects... Including a drowning chamber. I made a chamber with hatches at the bottom and some floodgates so I could easily drain the room. I even had pumps that would pump all the water back to the surface and dump them back into the ocean, where I would get the water. The pump was at -3 z or something, so I had to make a small pump stack.

Anyway, everything seemed done, I couldn't think of a single thing that could go wrong. Cue my miner tapping the wall and in a single frame, THE ENTIRE ROOM FLOODS. A small lag spike, and suddenly everything is 7/7. Including the tile my miner was standing in. This makes sense, since if you really tapped the ocean beneath sea level there'd be a lot of pressure too, but, since when does Dwarf Fortress make sense? I was expecting it to be just like tapping a brook or river...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 31, 2010, 05:48:52 pm
Urist McMiner cancels Dig: Can Hear the Ocean
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tywuzhere on August 31, 2010, 08:30:39 pm
My weaponsmith is posessed, he's made two masterpiece weapons...
I know, this will not go over well, especially since my greed will make me want to sell those to traders.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ishamoridin on August 31, 2010, 11:13:38 pm
You can't sell Artifacts ;)

Just make sure they're not stolen by kobolds!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tommy on August 31, 2010, 11:35:24 pm
Oh wait, dolomite is a flux stone isn't it.  And here I was for four years thinking I didn't have any flux.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shurhaian on September 01, 2010, 01:49:35 am
Quote from: Tommy on August 31, 2010, 11:35:24 pm
Oh wait, dolomite is a flux stone isn't it.  And here I was for four years thinking I didn't have any flux.
Not just a flux stone, but (if you're in 31.x) a magma safe flux stone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tommy on September 01, 2010, 02:12:27 am
Quote from: Shurhaian on September 01, 2010, 01:49:35 am
Quote from: Tommy on August 31, 2010, 11:35:24 pm
Oh wait, dolomite is a flux stone isn't it.  And here I was for four years thinking I didn't have any flux.
Not just a flux stone, but (if you're in 31.x) a magma safe flux stone.
I'd noticed it was magma-safe (and not only that, but so magma-safe that not even fire snakes can touch it), but had completely failed to notice it was flux.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nucleus222 on September 01, 2010, 03:15:05 am
Didnt plan my channeling right and managed to severly injure my 3 legendary miners and one of the novices.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lolghurt on September 01, 2010, 09:44:53 am
Discovered that insane dorfs will throw themselves down your artificial waterfall, making their corpse impossible to retrieve, and filling your meting hall with miasma.
Also, cats have a tendency to survive ten level drops, and manage to give birth just before bleeding out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zagibu on September 01, 2010, 03:27:47 pm
Quote from: lolghurt on September 01, 2010, 09:44:53 am
Discovered that insane dorfs will throw themselves down your artificial waterfall, making their corpse impossible to retrieve, and filling your meting hall with miasma.
Also, cats have a tendency to survive ten level drops, and manage to give birth just before bleeding out.

Hehe, there you thought having an open waterfall drainage in your fortress was a good idea, and promptly Murphy came along and taught you a valuable lesson.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on September 01, 2010, 04:20:41 pm
Quote from: lolghurt on September 01, 2010, 09:44:53 am
Discovered that insane dorfs will throw themselves down your artificial waterfall, making their corpse impossible to retrieve, and filling your meting hall with miasma.
Also, cats have a tendency to survive ten level drops, and manage to give birth just before bleeding out.

GRATES.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bronimin on September 01, 2010, 05:24:42 pm
-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lolghurt on September 02, 2010, 11:39:06 am
Quote from: Flaede on September 01, 2010, 04:20:41 pm
Quote from: lolghurt on September 01, 2010, 09:44:53 am
Discovered that insane dorfs will throw themselves down your artificial waterfall, making their corpse impossible to retrieve, and filling your meting hall with miasma.
Also, cats have a tendency to survive ten level drops, and manage to give birth just before bleeding out.

GRATES.
Discovered That insane dorfs can get to the normally impossible to get to top of the waterfall, which is impossible to grate because you have to swim through a couple of hundred 7/7 tiles and build on a 4/7 one. Then they will throw themselves onto the grate you build in your dining hall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: random guardian on September 02, 2010, 04:41:35 pm
Urist McDumassMason has died of thirst
A section of the cavern has collapsed
Urist McChannler has bled to death
Urist McChannler#2 has bled to death
A human caravan has arived
Urist McOhLetsSitUnderThisBridgeNextToTheOtherBridgeBlockingTheEscapeAndTheCaravan has been crushed

 It was in that relative order.::) I guess my trap door bridge was never ment to be.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Horizon9 on September 02, 2010, 05:18:55 pm
I was in the Object Testing Arena.
I was playing around with a legendary Hammerdwarf with legendary armor and shield, who was equipped with a steel warhammer and slade armor with a slade shield.
I facepalmed when I forgot to remove all of that before spawning a Bronze Cololussus.
He proceeded to beat the sh*t out of everything around him, and nothing I used hurt him.
Not even lava took him down.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nekoexmachina on September 02, 2010, 07:10:57 pm
My legendary adventurer (leg. axeman + shield + armor + dodger) was just killed. By the horse! I was wiping out the dwarven mountainhome, killed almost everyone including king and some leg. axedorfs, and one of the last hostiles was that horse. It was together with 2 peasants, just kicking me.
Before that I got only couple of light wounds with all the other dorfs (about 50), killing most of them with single axehack, but the horse.. i could not kill it. It was dodging all of my attacks, while it was successfully beating me. ;(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: immibis on September 03, 2010, 09:32:30 am
Quote from: Djohaal on August 04, 2010, 10:58:21 am
Quote from: rocknose on July 28, 2010, 11:15:09 am
Constructed a cistern and buckets, started the bucket brigade to fill it up. While they were filling it, I got a well set up, so the nurses could get water from the cistern without wandering all the way outside while the patients died of thirst. As soon as the well was finished, all the bucket brigade dwarfs began filling their buckets from the well. I had 20 dwarves in a small room, taking water from a well and pouring it into a hole to fill the well.
I didn't realize it until a season later when I realized that the cistern wasn't getting any fuller.

Yeah, that happened with my hospital's cistern too. Dorfs were running around filling it with it's own water.
I know this is an old quote, but I've exploited that to make a dwarf-powered waterwheel.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skelodwarf on September 04, 2010, 01:48:20 pm
Channeled out a rather basic irrigation system, only to realize the layer above it is channeled too, straight to the glorious sun. So much for those Potatoes...

(Eh, I'll just have a cross-hatched farm plot, it'll work)

Edit: Finished FailFarm:
(http://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z200/tyranitar23/Farm.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McTaverish on September 04, 2010, 06:52:00 pm
Somehow my chief medical dorf (he no longer deserves the title Dwarf) fell and hurt himself while I was channeling for a waterfall in my dining room.  Two seasons later he succumbs to infection.  And I didn't get the waterfall to work properly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on September 05, 2010, 01:16:43 am
Quote from: Tywuzhere on August 31, 2010, 08:30:39 pm
My weaponsmith is posessed, he's made two masterpiece weapons...
I know, this will not go over well, especially since my greed will make me want to sell those to traders.

Selling masterpieces is not defacement.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AngleWyrm on September 05, 2010, 02:00:02 am
Just started pitting a squad of goblin archers that sieged me a minute ago, and here comes an Ettin. The ettin gets cage-trapped, and I'm going 'Cool, I'll throw him in the pit with the goblins and see what happens!'

Then I go back to pitting the rest of the caged goblins, and accidentally select the ettin for pitting while he's still being brought to the store room. The dwarf obediently lets him out of the cage, and he goes on a rampage, busting up a bunch of cage traps, and killing three dwarves before I figure out what's going on and call the military to dispatch him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ungulateman on September 05, 2010, 04:37:48 am
Quote from: Skelodwarf on September 04, 2010, 01:48:20 pm
Channeled out a rather basic irrigation system, only to realize the layer above it is channeled too, straight to the glorious sun. So much for those Potatoes...

Potatoes? Are you using my mod?

If you are, :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: stormyseasons on September 05, 2010, 09:35:50 am
..So I pick a new, more challenging embark site, glacier next to artic ocean.... Dig down to the caverns, set up my farms, food stocks etc etc.... And then start losing dwarves to cave critter attacks. cue facepalm when I realise I hadn't walled off an area of the caves to keep the critters out. Designate appropriate numbers of walls at appropriate spots... Critter related deaths continue. Cue facepalm to realise I'd overlooked 2 small 1 tile ramps that led to the other caverns. And hadn't set up any squad patrols either... Gave up on walling off the caverns after that. At least beating off the occasional crundle swarm or blind cave ogre pair will give my dwarves some military experience.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on September 05, 2010, 09:47:44 am
Freaking mummies stopped me from completing the second story of walls in the caverns. Cue flying FB...

<later> It took all of my militia to kill the darn thing, and no corpse! Boo. All I have is this arm that got lopped off early.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Svampapa on September 05, 2010, 04:29:58 pm
So... yeah. Marble can apparently be aquifier. Blub. Blub.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mr_seeker on September 05, 2010, 10:28:47 pm
Well, this is one of the biggest facepalms I had:

Made a pretty decent fortress, around 60-80 dwarves working around the clock. Found a nice cave, so went cavefishing. After a couple of weeks, a crocodile appears, kills 2 farmers, wounds a 3rd one pretty badly, and starts to enter my fortress. Lucky for me I have the nasty habit of putting cage traps in the entrances. Result: One angry caged crocodile.

Croco (as I named him) went on a nice trip in the cage to the resource room. Everything went well there, no problems at all.

Merchants appeared, and wanted to get rid of Croco. So, I put Croco on the trading list. 5 min later, Croco was loose and had begun a pure rampage inside my fortress. Because I didnt had a good military system in that fortress, everyone was killed on the spot.

Result: 10 killed by Croco, 7 berserk, 24 killed by dwarves, 45 heavely wounded and no doctor left...

When i embarked again to the same spot, i met an angry Croco again, killed another 7 of my dwarves, and then i though about finding another spot. Since then i always make sure captured animals stay in their cage.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zidane on September 05, 2010, 11:03:47 pm
I only recently started playing but I made a huge blunder, I minded a bit to prodigiously near a river, and then forgot about the shaft, several hours later I had the great idea to build a moat around my fortress.

All of my dwarfs dead but two, and all of my stock piles gone.
Title: "
Post by: Keldor on September 05, 2010, 11:59:15 pm
Quote from: mr_seeker on September 05, 2010, 10:28:47 pm
...
Merchants appeared, and wanted to get rid of Croco. So, I put Croco on the trading list. 5 min later, Croco was loose and had begun a pure rampage inside my fortress.
...

"Uh, boss?  This cage you wanted brought to the depot isn't empty.  What should I do about it?"

"Empty it out!  We can't sell a dirty cage you know!"

"Oh, ok.  Out you go, little fella--- ARGGGHHHH!!!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mr_seeker on September 06, 2010, 10:29:27 am
Another one, happening as I speak:

Got a siege by goblins. Stupid creatures tend to siege my fort (which is holding 50 angry axe dwarves) with 13 lashers. No attacks, just waiting for me to strike.

The only reason why they havent attacked yet is unknown, what I do know is that the fortress still has a caged goblin lying around.

EDIT: After waiting long enough, I decided to attack them with my full force. 26 dead dwarves later, they ran off...

Never trust the wiki when under siege...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bremarv on September 06, 2010, 03:09:00 pm
Remembered that when throwing goblins into the arena, theres a chance they can get loose when taken out of the cage. This was after I had designated 15 goblins for dumping and the cancelled: interupted by goblin spam started

Checked said goblins and found out I had been less than thorough with dumping their weapons...

luckily the military was lazy and was upstairs for a snack, so they where close by. When there was one goblin left they decided they needed their buty sleep, all three of them, at the same time...

on the positive side the loose goblin is a thief and so just runs from my dwarfs, so almost no one gets hurt. It's fun seeing random dwarfs taking pot shots at the goblin while passing.

EDIT: of course, since they where interupted when getting some snack, they are now completely ignoring the knife wielding goblin running past them to get in favor of getting that food they wanted.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xerillum on September 06, 2010, 03:11:09 pm
I had a fortress next to a volcano going down 40 z-levels, so I decided that I should add another magma forge closer to my stockpiles.

I had a screw pump going that pulled magma to a z-level higher than the top of the fortress for the purposes of goblin killing, but I didn't ever use it anymore, so I thought that I would dig a shaft to where I wanted the new forge, and connect it to the pump.

Everything went well until I channeled a hole to put the forge over. The magma, being pressurized by the screw pump, flooded the entire fortress, killing all but one of the dwarves.

Urist McFarmer, the survivor, was planting a new farm, and some of the leftover water from irrigating turned into obsidian, sealing him into the room.

Now it's winter, I have 39 levels completely flooded with magma and one stockpile level at the very bottom of the fortress that had magma-safe doors on it, filled with food and booze. My farmer probably has enough food and water to last until migrants hopefully show up.



Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bronimin on September 06, 2010, 03:20:43 pm
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Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on September 07, 2010, 05:37:52 am
Quote from: Xerillum on September 06, 2010, 03:11:09 pm
I had a fortress next to a volcano going down 40 z-levels, so I decided that I should add another magma forge closer to my stockpiles.

I had a screw pump going that pulled magma to a z-level higher than the top of the fortress for the purposes of goblin killing, but I didn't ever use it anymore, so I thought that I would dig a shaft to where I wanted the new forge, and connect it to the pump.

Everything went well until I channeled a hole to put the forge over. The magma, being pressurized by the screw pump, flooded the entire fortress, killing all but one of the dwarves.

Urist McFarmer, the survivor, was planting a new farm, and some of the leftover water from irrigating turned into obsidian, sealing him into the room.

Now it's winter, I have 39 levels completely flooded with magma and one stockpile level at the very bottom of the fortress that had magma-safe doors on it, filled with food and booze. My farmer probably has enough food and water to last until migrants hopefully show up.
That sure sounds awesome.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cheese on September 07, 2010, 05:55:05 am
Reply 2501. Tried to drag thieves down stairs to my pit, they ofcourse ran off.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: redrick_schu on September 07, 2010, 09:46:36 am
Embark on a Terrifying glacier with no military dwarves(I was asking for it I think). Blizzard Man shows up, I send a random dwarf off with an axe to take care of it. 45 seconds into this fortress the Blizzard Man takes the axe from the dwarf, decapitates him, and proceeds to annihilate the rest of the fortress. Rude.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mrtspence on September 07, 2010, 07:17:17 pm
Made a super awesome death pit (baddies dropped onto a retractable bridge over a 10z-level pit) complete with ramp down to loot the corpses (and help my miners get out). My test run goes swimmingly, with a goblin plummeting to a horrific bone-snapping death. So I begin the fullscale run. 8 goblins and an elf. 4 gobbos and the elf are killed instantly, but some of the goblins' comerades cushioned their fall. I didn't strip them of their weapons or armour (didn't know I could at the time) and didn't bother to put a locked door at the ramp-entrance. My well-armoured military (full sets of steel armour and steel shields) couldn't hurt the gobbos effectively, as I had yet to make steel bolts for their crossbows (wooden still, and wooden crossbows). The gobbos, with shattered legs and arms proceeded to kill several wardogs and a greedy-ass jeweler that was going to steal the pants or something off of one of the dead gobbos. They took over half an hour to kill--my dozen or so dwarves bludgeoned them into unconsciousness and then gangbeat them for an inordinate amount of time. The unconscious, wounded goblins proceeded to cause so much chaos that nothing could be done until they were killed.

Lesson learned. The pit is now 15 z-levels deep with spikes at the bottom and locked off; I have 20 dudes with full steel armour AND steel crossbow bolts; there are cage traps around the prisoner area to help re-catch escapees; and I am sure to strip the prisoners of their belongings before releasing them xD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ieb on September 08, 2010, 03:46:50 am
Incidentally, just like the above poster, I too made a pit-trap 10 levels deep, combined with a watertrap. Enemies step into the corridor, floodgates open, water flushes them down the pit.

Like him, I also noticed 10 levels weren't enough, but those that didn't die of the drop soon drowned so it was all good.

A minor facepalm occurred later on though, as war animals from a siege were hanging onto the ground, where the siegers got whisked over the edge. So, I kept the gates open. The whole of the trap would work as a drowning trap even on the waterfall level.

Time passes, finally enough water is in to drown the enemies. Much celebration, lever is pulled to release all that water.

Cue hilarity/facepalm when I realize that yes, that is a big trap and yes, that is a LOT of water I have there and it has a lot of pressure. (http://i53.tinypic.com/i1jpr7.png)

Of course, the building with the bridge there leads to my magma workshops. Would have been unfortunate if i hadn't noticed the effect of the flood-release in time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uristocrat on September 08, 2010, 05:14:43 am
Wow, does everyone try (and then fail) at the 10z kill tower trap?  Yeah, I was dropping them onto my quantum stone stockpile for a while, with predictable results once I got some goblins tough enough to survive.

Since then, I've given up and I drop them just 1z, into a room full of green glass spikes made by my handy magma glass furnace that's sealed by both a door and a floodgate (not sure that it matters, but it makes it obvious when the room is *locked*).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ieb on September 08, 2010, 05:49:20 am
I think it's always been the same for me.

"Ten levels should be enough."

It never is, and I never learn.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GaxkangtheUnbound on September 08, 2010, 05:53:08 am
The mason fell asleep while the magma was coming his way.
In TWO DIFFERENT FORTS.
 >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: timtek on September 08, 2010, 05:54:17 am
Quote from: GaxkangtheUnbound on September 08, 2010, 05:53:08 am
The mason fell asleep while the magma was coming his way.
In TWO DIFFERENT FORTS.
 >:(

Magma is very soothing. I often fall asleep next to magma. It's like the rainforest, or the ocean. :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GaxkangtheUnbound on September 08, 2010, 05:56:49 am
Quote from: timtek on September 08, 2010, 05:54:17 am
Quote from: GaxkangtheUnbound on September 08, 2010, 05:53:08 am
The mason fell asleep while the magma was coming his way.
In TWO DIFFERENT FORTS.
 >:(

Magma is very soothing. I often fall asleep next to magma. It's like the rainforest, or the ocean. :P
His upper lip fat also burned off.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on September 08, 2010, 12:46:34 pm
Quote from: GaxkangtheUnbound on September 08, 2010, 05:56:49 am
Quote from: timtek on September 08, 2010, 05:54:17 am
Quote from: GaxkangtheUnbound on September 08, 2010, 05:53:08 am
The mason fell asleep while the magma was coming his way.
In TWO DIFFERENT FORTS.
 >:(

Magma is very soothing. I often fall asleep next to magma. It's like the rainforest, or the ocean. :P
His upper lip fat also burned off.

Wait a minute, how do you fall asleep in front of an approaching wave of magma and only burn your upper lip? Dude must have a hell of an overbite.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GaxkangtheUnbound on September 08, 2010, 02:53:07 pm
Quote from: Samuel on September 08, 2010, 12:46:34 pm
Quote from: GaxkangtheUnbound on September 08, 2010, 05:56:49 am
Quote from: timtek on September 08, 2010, 05:54:17 am
Quote from: GaxkangtheUnbound on September 08, 2010, 05:53:08 am
The mason fell asleep while the magma was coming his way.
In TWO DIFFERENT FORTS.
 >:(

Magma is very soothing. I often fall asleep next to magma. It's like the rainforest, or the ocean. :P
His upper lip fat also burned off.

Wait a minute, how do you fall asleep in front of an approaching wave of magma and only burn your upper lip? Dude must have a hell of an overbite.
I also had a Jesus mouse, who was alive in 2/7 magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mrtspence on September 08, 2010, 05:16:56 pm
I have had a history of naming one of my first miners Neil Patrick Harris. They always die incredibly early on xD. This last one fell into an empty cistern... that he wasn't even mining from xD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on September 08, 2010, 06:28:35 pm
Quote from: mrtspence on September 08, 2010, 05:16:56 pm
I have had a history of naming one of my first miners Neil Patrick Harris. They always die incredibly early on xD. This last one fell into an empty cistern... that he wasn't even mining from xD

Name him Dr. Horrible, and see how that goes. Maybe he'll build a magma powered death ray?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mrtspence on September 08, 2010, 11:03:32 pm
Losing 7 Master Hammer Dwarves in full steel armour with masterful steel warhammers to 4 goblins with copper maces and lashes because they only use the crossbows I gave them for training.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shagomir on September 09, 2010, 12:21:24 am
I had a facepalm moment today. I forgot to create a proper dining room for my dwarves, and instead got cooking on a megaproject before making sure to have everything set up properly. Now my dwarves are tantruming because I decided to expand my military and recruited 30 recent migrants. Then I ran out of booze somehow, despite having a fully functioning, super efficient farm burrow designed only to produce 1000s of booze per year. One of the recruits went crazy, broke some stuff, got himself killed, and set one of my masons to tantruming, and well you know how that goes. I'm in the middle of it now, and I'm only down 5 dwarves so far...

I am digging out a 30x40 2 z-level columned marble dining hall with fully engraved walls, to be lined in gold and platinum masterwork statues, but I don't think it's going to be finished in time to prevent it from my dwarves from emoing themselves to death.

It was a sweet embark, too. Sand, limestone, and marble, all in a plateau with a 12 z-level waterfall. Next time I want to megaproject, I'm sticking with a 50 dwarf maximum population and invasions off.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Duriel on September 09, 2010, 08:20:57 am
So, a Forgotten Beast arrived to my fortress. It was a tortoise with a deadly dust attack. I thought that the military could slay the beast, and they did.

But I had underestimated the power of deadly dust.

Everyone in the vicinty of the beast started rotting alive, and clouds of miasma filled the barracks. Then the hospital as soldiers moved to rest. I thought I'd lose them to the disease, but they stayed alive after some medical treatment.

End result: 6 blind dwarves, a dead dog and lots of forgotten beast meat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: koruth on September 09, 2010, 08:21:45 am
Digging out a pump stack from the magma sea to my factory layers.  Had to pass through cavern-2 on the way up, thanks to me not planning the stockpiles' position around this eventuality.  Figured it'd not be a big deal, since there were no Forgotten Beasts around and I'd explored most of cavern-2 with catanaut exploration crews.  So guess what happens when I'm installing the *last* wall before the whole thing's safe again... and guess exactly when the mason crew in charge of this all suddenly turn out to be on break/sleeping/drinking/partying...

Now down to 3 dwarfs of working age, and about 15 children.  And no immigrants; I'm playing a dead civ.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on September 09, 2010, 09:29:35 am
Quote from: koruth on September 09, 2010, 08:21:45 am
Digging out a pump stack from the magma sea to my factory layers.  Had to pass through cavern-2 on the way up, thanks to me not planning the stockpiles' position around this eventuality.  Figured it'd not be a big deal, since there were no Forgotten Beasts around and I'd explored most of cavern-2 with catanaut exploration crews.  So guess what happens when I'm installing the *last* wall before the whole thing's safe again... and guess exactly when the mason crew in charge of this all suddenly turn out to be on break/sleeping/drinking/partying...

Now down to 3 dwarfs of working age, and about 15 children.  And no immigrants; I'm playing a dead civ.
I think that is a new kind of record regarding the lazy-dwarf-killed-my-whole-fort thing
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mrtspence on September 09, 2010, 05:18:26 pm
Rhesus Macaque ninja'd his way through my cage traps, bit a weaponsmith in the face, and then escaped off the map with a legendary, artifact platinum shield. Best part: the thing had engravings of dwarves striking down macaques on it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KaunMoth on September 09, 2010, 06:08:51 pm
Being a new player I don't quite understand how to build pumpstacks properly, so instead of bothering to do that I decided I'd just tap the river and make a waterfall out of that, and instead of having a pool for the water to gather in and be pumped around I decided to dig into the river again... 3 levels down.

My dwarfs got a crash course in swimming and they all failed. Except for the mayor, he was hosting a party upstairs in his room all alone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dwarfotaur on September 09, 2010, 07:55:23 pm
I was changing my fortress entrance by walling off the old one and creating a new one. The new one was going to be a long bridge that could be retracted to drop enemies in to a watery pool of death. It was the surface layer so I designated a 4x10 channel to be dug over the pit. I The miners were too stupid to realise that  land cannot magically support itself so once the perimeter was dug the entire thing came crashing down... That wasn't the end of it though, someone some of the earth and the dwarves punctured right through three z-levels of rooms and finally came to a bloody end smack bang in the middle of the dormitory. It caused a couple extra deaths and a LOT of clean up -_-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JAFANZ on September 09, 2010, 08:56:43 pm
Quote from: mrtspence on September 09, 2010, 05:18:26 pm
Rhesus Macaque ninja'd his way through my cage traps, bit a weaponsmith in the face, and then escaped off the map with a legendary, artifact platinum shield. Best part: the thing had engravings of dwarves striking down macaques on it.

This isn't a Face Palm, 'cos it's epicness is all WIN, now you just need an Artificact decorated with images of the above theft...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mrtspence on September 09, 2010, 09:10:27 pm
Quote from: JAFANZ on September 09, 2010, 08:56:43 pm
Quote from: mrtspence on September 09, 2010, 05:18:26 pm
Rhesus Macaque ninja'd his way through my cage traps, bit a weaponsmith in the face, and then escaped off the map with a legendary, artifact platinum shield. Best part: the thing had engravings of dwarves striking down macaques on it.

This isn't a Face Palm, 'cos it's epicness is all WIN, now you just need an Artificact decorated with images of the above theft...

That would make my life. It one occurs, I WILL post it here xD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gentle Manne on September 10, 2010, 03:15:50 am
I had a new fortress with only two rooms dug and I dug a reservoir for a well, but the river i was diverting was higher than may fortress so it started flooding. My miners swam, two surfacing in the river and one swimming up to the main fortress level. He ran back along the narrow corridor to the other dwarves and I designated a wall built to dam the flow before my two rooms flooded. The water got there before my mason did. I decided to just block off the entrances to the rooms instead, but again the water got there first. This kept happening until I was pushed back almost to the initial stairway, where I finally got a wall up. With the stairway blocked off, half of my dwarfs drowned.

I was expecting them to swim to the surface, but I feel really stupid for not having my freed miners dig a stairway to free the rest.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Azhral on September 10, 2010, 03:50:19 pm
I just drained the 3rd cavern level (full of water) into the magma sea, just to see what happens.

Seasonal autosaves FTW.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mrtspence on September 10, 2010, 04:08:42 pm
Quote from: Azhral on September 10, 2010, 03:50:19 pm
I just drained the 3rd cavern level (full of water) into the magma sea, just to see what happens.

Seasonal autosaves FTW.

Seam cloud of death?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bremarv on September 10, 2010, 05:08:18 pm
appointed a captain of the guard to hopefully put a stop to the recent vandalism and I took care to choose one without any fighting skills at all. Turned out she had the Very Strong trait..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on September 10, 2010, 06:11:51 pm
My Accomplished Miner, Tholtig, mined out an entire fortress himself with his bare hands (which were holding a pick). He was by far my favourite, and I spent much time checking specifically on him, even turning off mining for everybody else, lest they steal his thunder. Then came time to build an underground farm, without any mud in sight. Tricky, yes, but there are lakes above us, right? we can channel tunnels to empty the entire lake into, correct? There will be absolutely no danger of Tholtig the Awesome Miner getting washed away with the water as it floods down the tunnel into a vertical shaft, yes?

You'll be missed, Tholtig. My bad.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eidako on September 10, 2010, 10:11:51 pm
(This is more of a "what I learned today" thing, but sticking it here since I can't find a relevant thread.)

!!Diamonds!! are forever.

Edit: they finally burned off after a year.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: James.Denholm on September 10, 2010, 11:36:40 pm
I guess the laws of thermodynamics got distracted by it's shiny.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pukako on September 10, 2010, 11:49:35 pm
Third fortress, after flooding the first, and embarking in a region with no coal, ore or wood in the second.  Attacked by a Bronze Collosus before I'd sorted out 2010 militia.  Epic battle at my fort's narrow entrance, with dogs flying, dwarves striking, an Elven merchant wandering through the middle of the carnage, and me not knowing what was happening.  After something seemed to have happened, I couldn't find the BC, and turns out I'd caught it in a cage trap.

Yay! Urist McHauler took it down the the animal storage plot, between my workshop and my bedroom levels. 

Later on, merchants turn up, and I see the BC listed as a saleable item under pets.  Sweet - probably worth a fair bit! I didn't realise that Urist McHauler wouldn't just pick up the cage...

The carnage on my militia to catch it was awesome.  The carnage in the middle of my fort, with the remnants of the militia stationed at the entrance 20 levels up, was ... complete. Nothing survived.

I felt very very stupid and am now extra careful with anything in a cage.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on September 11, 2010, 06:29:24 am
This'll make you feel better:
http://threepanelsoul.com/view.php?date=2008-05-12
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SuddenlyCreepers on September 11, 2010, 12:00:35 pm
Well, I was starting to actually learn how to play this game.

Food supply?  Check.
Good supply of stone? Check.
Crafts?  Check.
Booze?...uhoh.

Elephant blood filled rivers, elephant blood filled rivers everywhere.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on September 11, 2010, 02:18:07 pm
A few minutes after activating my pump and discovering that yes, hooray!  I *did* understand magma pressurization correctly! and waiting for the five z-levels of reservoirs to fill up...

Wait, where did that cinnabar vein come from?  I don't remember mining out cinna--Oh.  Right.  Of course.  *facepalm*

Thus was illustrated the importance of knowing the difference between upward stairs and downward stairs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Svampapa on September 11, 2010, 02:24:41 pm
So this is what happens when you leave food at the wagon too long.  :o
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on September 11, 2010, 03:45:20 pm
And now my entire fort has ground to a complete and total halt in an absolutely stunning and completely magma-free spectacle of Dwarven Stupidity.

(1) Human traders arrive.  I buy everything I want from the caravan.  Dorfs rush out to stockpile everything.
(2) A werewolf spawns.  Instead of trying to path to the haulers through the bajillion cage traps out there, it decides to park itself in full view of the entrance to the fort.
(3) Cue the cancellation spam and pretty much the entire damned fortress starting to starve itself because a werewolf is watching them.

Face.  Palm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Svampapa on September 11, 2010, 07:16:35 pm
Wouldn't YOU be scared shitless?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
:D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skelodwarf on September 11, 2010, 10:21:05 pm
Quote from: Svampapa on September 11, 2010, 02:24:41 pm
So this is what happens when you leave food at the wagon too long.  :o
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That's nothing. I had a legitimate 10x10 square FILLED with fluffy wamblers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: goukaryuujin on September 11, 2010, 10:24:08 pm
Urist cancels haul: scared shitless by werewolf
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on September 11, 2010, 10:29:31 pm
Quote from: Skelodwarf on September 11, 2010, 10:21:05 pm
Quote from: Svampapa on September 11, 2010, 02:24:41 pm
So this is what happens when you leave food at the wagon too long.  :o
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That's nothing. I had a legitimate 10x10 square FILLED with fluffy wamblers.

Urist McDwarf cancels Haul Stuff: Wambler Stampeeeed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iren on September 12, 2010, 10:04:08 am
Quote from: SuddenlyCreepers on September 11, 2010, 12:00:35 pm
Well, I was starting to actually learn how to play this game.

Food supply?  Check.
Good supply of stone? Check.
Crafts?  Check.
Booze?...uhoh.

Elephant blood filled rivers, elephant blood filled rivers everywhere.

Happened to me too, except that winter came, rivers froze and half of the dwarves died of thirst trying to lick ice cubes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tommy on September 12, 2010, 12:59:37 pm
Dug a drainage channel from the volcano to the human siege camp, only for them to leave shortly before it reached them.  Seems a bit silly in hindsight.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nekoexmachina on September 12, 2010, 01:37:22 pm
i've just abandoned the coolest embark i've ever had
it had almost everything, except water: too hot to have it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Golcondio on September 12, 2010, 01:48:33 pm
Quote from: nekoexmachina on September 12, 2010, 01:37:22 pm
i've just abandoned the coolest embark i've ever had
it had almost everything, except water: too hot to have it.
Just dig until you reach the underground river... and anyway water is nasty and rusts iron and rots wood so you'd better stick to booze!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dok Enkephalin on September 12, 2010, 01:53:52 pm
A grand wall should keep the undead away, protect the caravans, too. Jeeze, those guys are taking forever, maybe I'll put some unskilled labor on it with them, at least get some wall up. Hm, miners standing around scratching their asses, are they already finished with that passage directly to the caravans? Ok, they can pave the slopes off our hill, that should anything from getting around breaches in the front for now. Or channels, even better! Wait, what do I need a wall for, again?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nekoexmachina on September 12, 2010, 02:09:12 pm
Quote
Just dig until you reach the underground river... and anyway water is nasty and rusts iron and rots wood so you'd better stick to booze!
the fact is, there was no underground water in any cavern of 2 i've had in that world.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mission0 on September 12, 2010, 02:19:40 pm
Ok I'm in a seven year fort that started off as a grand mega-fortress project thing.

I have gone from the original seven dwarves to a whopping 106 dwarves! They are all still living out of the small temporary encampment I had dug into the ground. There was plenty of food, a good enough supply of booze and moderate sleeping arrangements that was able to meet the demands of the fortress. The dwarves were not living well but they were living.

Until one day I get an alert on my screen that I have not seen in a long time.

A Titan has come to visit! Fear its poisonous breath!

O_O I'm going oh shit! oh shit! Everyone move into the mega-fortress proper! Military Dwarves you may be wearing nothing but get your asses out there and wrestle that thing to the ground!

The ten dwarves who were sent out to wrestle are standing out by the bridge I had constructed over a small pond. The only entrance since I had walled off the rest of the area. There are traps and more traps to help out the dwarves as they are set to battle it out against the titan. The Titan walks around the wall until it comes to a hole where another pond interrupted the wall... then it swam through the wall. Completely bypassing my defenses and putting the Titan between my civilians and the small army I had.

I go Oh Shit! yet again and send my military to attack. They all swarm over the Titan becoming legendary wrestlers within seconds of the fight. However their punches are literally as effective as throwing rocks at it. The Titan is literally flinging dwarves left and right. One dwarf was grabbed by his hand and flung around, his hand ripped off staying in the Titans grip as the dwarf flew away about 10 tiles or so before he smacked into the wall and died.

The Titan methodically killed every dwarf I had in my military then made its way into my temporary fortress. No one was in there but there was one problem... now it was standing right between the civilians and their food and booze supply. At this time vultures also start stealing all my food...

So left with either starving to death or fighting the Titan I decide to fight. I recruit all my legendary miners, wish them the best, and send them off to what I thought was their deaths. Something was wrong though, the miners all refused to budge from the safety of the fortress proper... Except for one who was taking the opportunity to head towards the beds... where the Titan is. He was my best miner to so i'm going... no no! everyone move or don't go at all.

It was to late for me to call him back to because the Titan had already seen him and was rushing to do battle. My sleep deprived dwarf met him head on. Please live, Please live, I keep chanting. Then I notice that the Dwarf is falling back and I go O Shit! for about the hundredth time now. I check the dwarf, he's fine nothing but a bruise. I check the Titan and his head is broken, his wings are disabled, and his body is not looking to good either.

The dwarf was so set on getting some sleep that he was not letting anything stop him, not even a Titan! He quickly killed the Titan with a well placed blow to the head with his pick and a final twist. He then continued on his way to the beds.

I'm going wtf! while celebrating the victory before I look down at my announcements to see at least ten dwarves are tantruming and another ten have either starved to death or died or thirst.

:face palm:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MarcAFK on September 13, 2010, 02:32:18 am
Distracted because of watching doctor who i stupidly assumed that pressing a after generating a map would accept it, rather than aborting which it actually does.
Yeah next time i generate a large map i'll be more careful after 3 hours spent generating.

Double facepalm when i finish generating a second world, only to find that the last map i aborted still exists anyway  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 13, 2010, 08:20:38 am
Quote from: MarcAFK on September 13, 2010, 02:32:18 am
Distracted because of watching doctor who i stupidly assumed that pressing a after generating a map would accept it, rather than aborting which it actually does.
Yeah next time i generate a large map i'll be more careful after 3 hours spent generating.

Double facepalm when i finish generating a second world, only to find that the last map i aborted still exists anyway  ::)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AngleWyrm on September 13, 2010, 08:54:49 am
New embark, and I dig out an area near a brook that's going to be my farm, then the next door workshops, dining hall, and food storage. I build a mechanics workshop and get three mechanisms, then a mason's workshop and get a floodgate. I install all this, build and pull the lever, and send the miner through to breach the last tile to the river in order to water the farm plots.

...And my whole fort is one z-level too far up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on September 13, 2010, 10:12:44 am
Pumps?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: deoxys413 on September 13, 2010, 01:10:54 pm
I stopped counting the facepalms after six. I'm currently building a fortress in hell without a military, hell wasn't all that bad so i didn't feel like dealing with the bugs and such. I'm in the process of building (or at least trying to) my new annex in the presence of cinder demon ticks.
Now for the facepalms by type

facepalm #1: forbidding stone prevents dorfs from charging in to store the stone in a stockpile
facepalm #2: the raising bridge that was serving as my bulkhead was actually a retracting one
facepalm #3: forgetting to save after my bridge is done being fixed
facepalm #4: forgetting to save my game after the bridge is done while reading the forums

On the bright side, I did manage to kill the skinless zebra that was halting my annex :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: timtek on September 13, 2010, 03:05:04 pm
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on September 13, 2010, 08:20:38 am
Quote from: MarcAFK on September 13, 2010, 02:32:18 am
Distracted because of watching doctor who i stupidly assumed that pressing a after generating a map would accept it, rather than aborting which it actually does.
Yeah next time i generate a large map i'll be more careful after 3 hours spent generating.

Double facepalm when i finish generating a second world, only to find that the last map i aborted still exists anyway  ::)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)


That is graphic awesome.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: veok on September 13, 2010, 05:26:48 pm
So. Looks like you can build more than one wall at a time. >.< UMHK!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on September 13, 2010, 08:59:17 pm
Floors, farm plots, roads, stairs and bridges, too. Among all sorts of other crap.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: James.Denholm on September 13, 2010, 09:07:16 pm
Technically, if your dorfs can path to it, it can have a job assigned to it, irrelevant of any other builderings going on.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on September 13, 2010, 09:14:01 pm
Yes, but designating hundreds of squares worth of walls and floors one at a time sucks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lanceleoghauni on September 13, 2010, 09:45:09 pm
*sigh* I didn't realize the retaining walls around each cell of a water reactor was a required feature. I guess I better get building fast or else the entire chamber will be flooded and therefore useless.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on September 13, 2010, 10:39:08 pm
When you are running away from flying enemies with cliffs on both sides, remember to turn off dodge.  Else you will end up with several mortal wounds right as a hoard of enemies converges on your face.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lanceleoghauni on September 14, 2010, 12:49:30 am
whoops, Trying to recover Material I breached one of the cells that was an aquifer tile. *sigh* my glassworks is now flooded, thankfully I got a door installed and time so my loser fort won't flood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sidhien on September 14, 2010, 05:44:40 am
Guess what magma does when you sleep in it?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samrobot on September 14, 2010, 07:13:15 pm
My biggest facepalm is when i forgot that floors cant be supported by diagnol floors so i lost 2 miners and a fisherdwarf
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrNuke on September 15, 2010, 12:40:02 am
Plenty of facepalms for me.
1: "Urist McMiner cancels dig, to injured"...huh? Ohh... forgot to undesignate that support tile.
2: Goblin ambush late in my fortress, and I DIDNT BUILD ANY WALLS
    ps: The fortress was going for 3 hours
3: Embarking into a terrifying biome with a starting military guy to protect
4: Letting my dorfs stay outside in scorching weather.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: koruth on September 15, 2010, 08:40:45 am
Found a rather loverly embark point for the newest fort: tons of flux, river, *three* layers of sand for massive storage space.  Light tree growth, but that can be fixed by setting up a decent tower cap farm underground (a usual precursor to the inevitable megaproject stage of almost every one of my forts)

Unfortunately, the river was full of hippos.  And the wagon stopped two tiles away from the river.  And the hippos.

I've had embarks on terrifying terrain with no military last longer than that before.

Of course, reclaimed it immediately after, and found out there were a couple huge veins of coal in the rockier parts of the sand layer, so -hippo roast- all around!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bremarv on September 15, 2010, 01:24:30 pm
Urist McFisher cancels Fish: interupted by Giant Olm
Me: why are you complaining about it looking at you? its not flying so it cant get to you.
Me ignores Urist McFishers complaint.
Urist McFisher is renaimed Urist McDeceased.
Me: oh, right. he can just swim in the river...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist son of Urist on September 15, 2010, 04:07:21 pm
I accidentally sent a full squad out after a goblin thief...armed with training weapons.

Now I've got ten dorfs with stab wounds sitting in the hospital.  They didn't kill the Goblin, either.  Although they DID break both of his legs and smash most of his fingers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Taco Dan on September 15, 2010, 06:43:52 pm
So I'm playing Dwarf Fortress, not really paying attention. Suddenly I see that a cheese maker had gone berserk, I don't know why, I didn't remember getting a mood yet. The first thing he does is kill four people in rapid succesion, then chases everyone else around.

I could almost hear Yakkity Sax playing as several dwarves would outrun him and try to get in a snack or a nap only to find that he's just around the corner. His main target was my brewer and I was already short on booze, so those who weren't killed by the Cheese Maker were dying of dehydration, the Cheese Maker finally petered out and died, and so I have three, inexperienced dwarves left. Greeeat.

EDIT: Make that two, one of them just committed suicide.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nekoexmachina on September 15, 2010, 07:29:05 pm
my legendary axedorf (in full adamantine with ad. axe) has just dodged an arrow into volcano.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samrobot on September 15, 2010, 08:50:54 pm
Quote from: nekoexmachina on September 15, 2010, 07:29:05 pm
my legendary axedorf (in full adamantine with ad. axe) has just dodged an arrow into volcano.

Damnit all that good cotton candy gone to waste :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: vadia on September 15, 2010, 10:13:02 pm
I had all my dwarves safely in fortress type walls--- who sees where this one is going?

Goblin bowmen shriek with delight -- ITS A SHOOTING GALLERY.
Then, Same fortress, I manage to somehow forget that the training spears don't go.  "Awww what a cute little baby" and find that I've killed the baby I've been trying to produce so long.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on September 16, 2010, 02:07:16 am
with a challenge fort I started to test out an entrance type...

It has an aquifer... and I am breaking through it the hard way using pumps and building walls.

I'm in the middle of the second year and almost have the retaining wall built out of logs...

and a migrant gets a strange mood...

and he's a glass maker...

and glass furnaces cannot be made out of wood.
(I actually do have access to sand... but my intention was to build a workshop for him to be moody in and just wall him in to it.)

and then he goes berserk and kills off a couple dogs and a puppy and my book keeper.

and then I notice he's chasing my expedition leader who happens to be a miner, so I activate him and pick out the glass maker's brains in a couple seconds.

oh, and for the first time ever I managed to cut down enough trees to get the attention of the elves, and the elf master surgeon showed up to ask me to stop cutting down trees... of course, this is after I'm almost able to access stone and stop using wood except for forge fuel- too little, too late.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on September 16, 2010, 02:10:37 am
Why didn't you bring even one stone while knowing you where about an aquifer?
Stone -> Wood Furnace -> Ash -> Glass Furnace
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RumblingNoise on September 16, 2010, 09:01:21 am
I embarked on a glacier, dwarves started to grumble and a legendary miner went berserk and killed all 40 of my dwarves but one dwarf managed to survive by hiding in the tunnels where pathfinding dared not enter.
In the end, the miner met a most dangerous foe, a cow.
(http://img716.imageshack.us/img716/8198/cowy.png)
So, my whole fortress could'nt subdue a single miner, yet this cow was more dwarfy than all of them  :o
I need to reward the cow somehow.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gutanoth on September 16, 2010, 09:38:24 am
Create a massive field for it to wander about in. With a specially designed hill for the haunting moos to echo through the fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on September 16, 2010, 05:09:22 pm
Quote from: Spectre on September 16, 2010, 02:10:37 am
Why didn't you bring even one stone while knowing you where about an aquifer?
Stone -> Wood Furnace -> Ash -> Glass Furnace

because it's a face palm... and I probably would have tuned it in to a mechanism anyway- I've been using screw pumps to go around corners while powering the pumps that clear the building sites
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Libelnon on September 16, 2010, 05:29:15 pm
I've been attempting an above grounder for a while now. I'm on my fourth attempt.

First time, we embarked okay, everything was going brilliantly. The fishery was set up, the town well, a storage warehouse for fish and I was beginning work on a dormitory when, suddenly, the entire map freezes over and blocks the well. Uhoh. Being above ground, with no booze, no herbalist, no brewer and no spare barrels, we ran out of dwarves before a successful attempt at reviving my drink stocks had paid off.
Second try. I picked a slightly different embark this time, and situated my fort over a waterfall in the stream that flowed directly into another stream. It was a neat, picturesque location - a cute little stream flowing through the middle of a conifer forest. However, I wanted to position a 'slum' style area directly next to the stream, and on a lower level than the rest of the fortress. Fair enough, there was a large depression not far away, I'll just widen that. So I did. All it took was a freak cavein, and my miner is stuck down with a nervous injury to his lower spine. 'Quick,' I thought. 'Build a small building nearby to act as a hospital'. Didn't take too long, the hospital was set up, and the doctor immediately patched my miner up. All's well, then, just needed to survive until he'd healed enough, right? Six months later, a sasquatch sneaks into the hospital and slaughters him and the woodcutter. I reassign their jobs to the mason and carpenter. Then the mason recreates the miner's accident and chucks himself into the river. With the pick.
Third attempt, I chose the same location as last time but with a more careful approach. The settlement was set up perfectly fine, the slum area was dug out smoothly, the early bridges were constructed and functional. I was quite proud of it when- Wait, what's this? Oh, great. An ocean titan turns up and burns the entire thing to a cinder.
I'm now about to start a fourth attempt. Wish me luck.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dachande on September 16, 2010, 05:45:15 pm
....


Probably.. When I opened a cage.

Containing a dragon with 600 kills.

That was in my statuary (or w/e you call it)

During a party.

Lesson learned: Don't pull random levers. Especially when you always forget to add notes.

Oh, and basically what happened was the dragon wrecked my shit, as you might infer from the whole dragon in the fucking statuary situation.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McTaverish on September 16, 2010, 08:44:42 pm
Just made a too-big space for outflow for my pump stack to drain the aquifer... Luckily the stack is powered by wind, but since I channeled out about ten squares above the aquifer I might not breach it with any speed. :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sphalerite on September 16, 2010, 08:47:22 pm
Today's lesson:

When you are playing an experimental mod with over a hundred civilizations added to it and have made most of them active in multiple seasons per year, you will be interrupted constantly by caravan arrival messages.  On the plus side, I know know that a single trade depot can handle over a dozen trade caravans simultaneously with no problem.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on September 16, 2010, 08:50:09 pm
I've wanted to do something like that, but I'm worried about what they would look like on the map. I really should just go ahead and do it, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zidane on September 16, 2010, 10:04:00 pm
I built an overly complex irrigation system, so I could have water during winter. I failed to notice part of it was open to the sky...

A few hours of planning FOR NOTHING.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zagibu on September 17, 2010, 02:19:39 am
What? Just floor the open parts over.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thadius on September 17, 2010, 02:52:25 am
Digging down to the second cavern layer in search of easily accessible water to use for the farms...

...And then when finding none down there and looking about for an alternative solution, finding that there was a lake near the top of the volcano.

Palm, meet face at an accelerated speed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ungulateman on September 17, 2010, 03:18:45 am
Quote from: zagibu on September 17, 2010, 02:19:39 am
What? Just floor the open parts over.

That leads to the "stone greenhouse" effect - convenient if you want safe green or red dyes (or whip vine flour, etc.), bad if you want to grow actual food.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hans Lemurson on September 17, 2010, 04:22:58 am
I began a massive construction project to bring cavern-water up 100 z-levels, and halfway through construction I found an aquifer not 20 tiles from my doorstep.  Didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: veok on September 17, 2010, 11:30:30 am
Was trying to do some work with obsidian casting. Lost 1 dwarf when he was swept off his pumping platform into the aqueduct bringing water to the magma. Lost another when mining out random overflow of obsidian to a cave-in. I've had a grand total of 7 migrants (3 seasons in), so I'm down to 12 dwarves now. Well, the cast finishes, and I tell my dwarves to tear down the dolomite casting wall.

They run off to do it, and suddenly I get the message:

Urist McDeconstructor has been frozen in ice! x 8!

Those who were "lucky" enough to be standing in 1/7 water when the free suddenly hit are now trapped within an ice and obsidian prison. I have no accessible picks, and no way to get them out. The fun-ness of a "temperate" biome!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gopher dude on September 17, 2010, 01:41:51 pm
I had embarked on a desert like savahna area.
It had flux stone and about 2-3 layers of farmable dirt, but I had to get it wet since these new version are picky.

There was a river right next to the entrance of my area and I decided I would irrigate my fields the only way I knew how: two flood gates one to block the entrance, one to act as the opening and closer for the water channel connecting my farm land with the river. Channel the water into there and open close the floodgates accordingly.
Not too hard at all I figured.

So anyway, I finally get one of my dwarfs to channel the missing piece into my irigation tunnel and.... the water doesn't flow in.
So I'm wondering, "what the shist, do I have to channel it all outside or somthing?" then I noticed that the river had actually dried up.
The river had dried up so much now that it was one entire z-level down and below my farming plot, so if I had wanted to channel the water I'd have to redig the whole thing again underneith it or find a way to bring water UP a level.

Of course I don't know how to bring water up, I'm not that smart.
I abandoned the fort out of frustration. D:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McTaverish on September 17, 2010, 01:54:53 pm
Quote from: gopher dude on September 17, 2010, 01:41:51 pm
Of course I don't know how to bring water up, I'm not that smart.
I abandoned the fort out of frustration. D:

Pump(s) my boy, pump(s).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zidane on September 17, 2010, 02:59:48 pm
Quote from: zagibu on September 17, 2010, 02:19:39 am
What? Just floor the open parts over.

I failed to notice the slopes, and I'm not sure if ponds will regenerate water if rain can not fall on them
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 17, 2010, 08:07:25 pm
Quote from: Zidane on September 17, 2010, 02:59:48 pm
Quote from: zagibu on September 17, 2010, 02:19:39 am
What? Just floor the open parts over.

I failed to notice the slopes, and I'm not sure if ponds will regenerate water if rain can not fall on them

They won't. Also, flooring the open parts over won't help - whether a tile of water freezes is determined by whether it is above ground or subterranean, not whether it's outside or inside.

Quote from: ungulateman on September 17, 2010, 03:18:45 am
Quote from: zagibu on September 17, 2010, 02:19:39 am
What? Just floor the open parts over.

That leads to the "stone greenhouse" effect - convenient if you want safe green or red dyes (or whip vine flour, etc.), bad if you want to grow actual food.

What do you mean? Inside/above ground tiles can grow any above ground crop. Are wild strawberries and prickle/fisher/sun berries not actual food?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ungulateman on September 18, 2010, 01:36:00 am
Actual food as in PLUMP HELMETS.

Otherwise you have to go running around outside, like a bunch of elves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zagibu on September 18, 2010, 04:17:21 am
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on September 17, 2010, 08:07:25 pm
They won't. Also, flooring the open parts over won't help - whether a tile of water freezes is determined by whether it is above ground or subterranean, not whether it's outside or inside.

Ah, I feared as much. I guess this is one thing that should be changed in the future.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 18, 2010, 11:21:50 am
Quote from: ungulateman on September 18, 2010, 01:36:00 am
Actual food as in PLUMP HELMETS.

Otherwise you have to go running around outside, like a bunch of elves.

You could floor over your above ground farms.

OT: This is my dining room.

(http://img153.imageshack.us/img153/7867/floodr.png)

I'm just going to leave it that way. It's not like there was anything valuable in there anyway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on September 18, 2010, 02:46:10 pm
I've had a pair of giant lions since year two or three.  A breeding pair.  And I only just noticed.

They've been in a cage the whole time.  Together, of course, but what with the two hundred other animals in there, they haven't gotten around to making giant lion romance and producing adorable baby giant lions war animals for my military yet.  Grr.  >:[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZhangC1459 on September 18, 2010, 07:46:05 pm
I built an immense series of screw pumps, windmills, and assorted machinery to bring up magma from the magma sea on a non-edited map and accidentally had a wood block somewhere in there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PKPhyre on September 18, 2010, 09:49:59 pm
Okay this wasn't really my fault buuuut... After about 2 solid hours of work on a fortress, a pretty good migrant wave, and 2 caravans, the game crashed when I tried to designate a meeting hall. I was so amazingly PO'd that I rebooted the game just so I could abandon the fortress. My best fortress ever too...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 18, 2010, 10:12:28 pm
I leave my dwarves alone for a minute to get a sandwich, and when I get back, there's a voracious cave crawler (score) inmy only cage trap. This cage trap is in my surface entrance. This thing managed to get past the whole fort only to become my puppet. That's not (quite) the facepalm.

The actual facepalm is Silkfloods the Untrustworthy Fire, the jabberer that came up with it and currently has 10 kills to its name. Out of a fortress of 17 dwarves. Also, my mason may be the smartest dwarf ever - he's chasing it with a chunk of diorite in his hands that will probably help a fair bit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JAFANZ on September 18, 2010, 10:24:39 pm
Quote from: ZhangC1459 on September 18, 2010, 07:46:05 pm
I built an immense series of screw pumps, windmills, and assorted machinery to bring up magma from the magma sea on a non-edited map and accidentally had a wood block somewhere in there.

"Non-edited Map"? There's a Map Editor?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZhangC1459 on September 19, 2010, 01:50:14 am
Quote from: JAFANZ on September 18, 2010, 10:24:39 pm
Quote from: ZhangC1459 on September 18, 2010, 07:46:05 pm
I built an immense series of screw pumps, windmills, and assorted machinery to bring up magma from the magma sea on a non-edited map and accidentally had a wood block somewhere in there.

"Non-edited Map"? There's a Map Editor?

I meant like... "Generate new world now!" as opposed to using parameters to, say, put the magma sea on z-level -8.

Look, just think of it as a 100+ z-level pump stack.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: koruth on September 19, 2010, 02:06:12 am
Not to mention turning temp off in the init.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dorfus on September 19, 2010, 05:40:06 am
Had a near miss last night. I'm building an aqueduct and have a 3 level pump stack. The wall for the duct is half finished so there are a few gaps. I'm building it from a brook and everything was going fine. I told my dwarves to finish the windmill and all of a sudden I see a rain of water and dwarves falling from my aqueduct. They were being pushed through (or jumping from) the gaps in my walls. Turns out you DON'T need to channel a brook tile to suck water out of it.

So yeah, the dwarves were running and falling everywhere like lemons and I didn't hook the damn thing up to a lever to turn it off. The water by this point was starting to flow down my entrance and flood my fort.

My last resort - send a guy to deconstruct the windmill. About twelve dwarves tried and gave up on the steps due to dangerous terrain until one guy battled hard against the torrents and took the thing down. Crisis averted. Just. Lost my lowest floor though, gonna have to pump it out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: James.Denholm on September 19, 2010, 06:37:59 am
Crowning moment of awesome, right there. It's that sort of thing that make me excited about the idea of being able to commission specific works from craters or masons; you'd be able to mint commemorative coins with depictions of Urist McWindmillDeconstructor fighting through the waters.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dorfus on September 19, 2010, 06:41:33 am
Ah I'd like that. I built the man a tomb with a windmill in it to commemorate his achievement. The best bit was it was only about 3 flights he had to climb and it took ages because he kept getting pushed down. Managed to pump the water out of my lower level now so everything's back to normal, apart from an unarmed goblin master theif took out two of my recruits. Ah the joy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neopolis on September 19, 2010, 02:48:08 pm
This is a marble statue of a dwarf and a windmill. The dwarf is deconstructing the windmill. The statue refers to the deconstruction of Windmill by Urist McWet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Un67 on September 19, 2010, 05:18:42 pm
I just realized that I'm not getting any immigrants because my home civ is too small...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZhangC1459 on September 19, 2010, 06:06:11 pm
Quote from: Neopolis on September 19, 2010, 02:48:08 pm
This is a marble statue of a dwarf and a windmill. The dwarf is deconstructing the windmill. The statue refers to the deconstruction of Windmill by Urist McWet.

Engraved on the wall is a masterfully designed image of Urist McAwesome the dwarf and a piece of cheese.  Urist is being pushed down stairs by water.  A windmill is turning.  The cheese is in a fetal position.  The image relates to the attempted deconstruction of the windmill by the dwarf Urist McAwesome during the failed engineering project in DorfusFortus in the early summer of 1053.

EDIT:
Quote from: Naes Draw on September 19, 2010, 06:22:34 pm
It wouldn't be a Dwarven masterpiece without something randomly unrelated on there, like cheese or socks.

Cheese in a fetal position. Yes, I went there
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naes Draw on September 19, 2010, 06:22:34 pm
It wouldn't be a Dwarven masterpiece without something randomly unrelated on there, like cheese or socks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gamegeneral on September 19, 2010, 07:47:11 pm
At first I wondered where my mayor went.
I later realized that I must have glazed over when I received the message that one of my dwarves had "loosed a roaring laughter, fell and terrible!"

2+2=Facepalmchuckle
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Leeko on September 19, 2010, 08:48:19 pm
After around 10 hours of work making a gigantic pressurized lava cannon that involved building a 12x12 reservoir 8 levels high, 22 pumps, and a power supply in a place that wouldn't get flooded with lava, it was finally finished. Right on time, as a 3 squad ambush just cut up a bunch of elves right outside my fortress. Then I realized that my power grid was 8 short of powering the pumps, and that there was no way for me to add another windmill without getting massacred by gobbos. :'(

I did build it successfully on my second try though. And it was glorious.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZhangC1459 on September 19, 2010, 10:33:33 pm
You did almost the exact same thing I"ve just been doing.  Fuck yeah, hiveminds
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: skaltum on September 20, 2010, 12:30:32 pm
back when i first started playing 40D (around about when 40D8 was released) i once played an all nighter and in my deep fatigue i remember carving fortifications into the side of the magma pipe so i could shoot the fire man......

how FUN
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: polterhorst on September 20, 2010, 01:04:16 pm
just one minute ago:

im playing on my 4th fortress, the first which really went well... my created wealth is above 1.200.000 and my population consisted of 130 dwarfs.

then a bronze colossus enters...
i already killed a colossus (glass) and think to myself: "no problem, hes gone in 1 minute."
my militia of 40 dwarfes even manage to cut both of his hands, but now i have an insane monster without hands roundhouse-kicking my dorfs and my dogs (he really hates them).

i wonder, if that guy is related to chuck norris -.-


Edit: He doesnt even kill his opponents... Just leaving them paralyzed or with broken legs, killing my fps. What a bitch.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: skaltum on September 20, 2010, 01:07:03 pm
Quote from: polterhorst on September 20, 2010, 01:04:16 pm
just one minute ago:

im playing on my 4th fortress, the first which really went well... my created wealth is above 1.200.000 and my population consisted of 130 dwarfs.

then a bronze colossus enters...
i already killed a colossus (glass) and think to myself: "no problem, hes gone in 1 minute."
my militia of 40 dwarfes even manage to cut both of his hands, but now i have an insane monster without hands roundhouse-kicking my dorfs and my dogs (he really hates them).

i wonder, if that guy is related to chuck norris -.-

chuck norris came from that colossus's hand :O
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheyTarget on September 20, 2010, 02:24:33 pm
Quote from: polterhorst on September 20, 2010, 01:04:16 pm
just one minute ago:

im playing on my 4th fortress, the first which really went well... my created wealth is above 1.200.000 and my population consisted of 130 dwarfs.

then a bronze colossus enters...
i already killed a colossus (glass) and think to myself: "no problem, hes gone in 1 minute."
my militia of 40 dwarfes even manage to cut both of his hands, but now i have an insane monster without hands roundhouse-kicking my dorfs and my dogs (he really hates them).

i wonder, if that guy is related to chuck norris -.-


Edit: He doesnt even kill his opponents... Just leaving them paralyzed or with broken legs, killing my fps. What a bitch.

As you will learn, there is a massive difference between something made of glass, and 12 foot tall solid bronze warrior that has been fighting for it's life since the dawn of time, and is winning.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tzkal on September 20, 2010, 08:19:18 pm

The first bronze colossus I ever faced.
I remembered hearing the horror stories of entire Fortresses falling before there might, entire armies decimated to bruise it's wrist. I had no more than 6 in my military; I hadn't even fought a siege yet. I KNEW I was screwed. I got them all ready in front of my fort, and waited... He comes, my squad proves little use against the giant, and are killed swiftly. He enters my fort... runs into a cage trap. End of battle.

Urist McCagehauler nearly dies of hunger/thrist on the way to stockpile carrying him. Coincidentally, this is how I learned weight is a factor in this game. Guess I should stop using barrels made of metal.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 20, 2010, 08:29:51 pm
Metal barrels are fine - they're not that heavy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on September 20, 2010, 09:24:40 pm
Quote from: tzkal on September 20, 2010, 08:19:18 pm
Urist McCagehauler nearly dies of hunger/thrist on the way to stockpile carrying him. Coincidentally, this is how I learned weight is a factor in this game. Guess I should stop using barrels made of metal.

It's always amusing to watch everyone else running around like they are in a Benny Hill skit, and then there's the one guy hauling the heavy whatever. Drag. Rest. Drag. Rest...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The Underchef on September 21, 2010, 07:09:59 am
I was dumb enough to think that my Marksdwarves would actually collect bolts before I told them to move, despite them having quivers and ammo assigned in the M menu, as well as =Iron Bolts= sat in my ammo stockpile.

They all rush onto the walls to defend against the goblin attack and just stand there whilst a Marksgoblin shoots two of them in the chest and kills them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xellas84 on September 21, 2010, 07:46:15 am
Let's see... facepalm worthy moments.

There's the obligatory "Tried to sell a hydra sitting in the middle of my stockpile to the elves".... Ended not well FUNly.

Started up an expansion on my farm, thought I'd be clever and connect both farming rooms to the same drainage hole.  Got all the way to digging the hole, putting in the lever-operated floodgate, and then in my infinite wisdom I put a door not only on the hallway leading back to the main base, but also on the path to the drainage hole.  And I didn't use a diagonal cut to neutralize the pressure coming from the river.  Needless to say Urist McNoswim did not appreciate being locked in there while I was desperately trying to get someone to deconstruct the door to the drainage pit.  Finally manage that... only to realize to my horror that the pit was full already, and there was now enough water to wash both Urist McNoswim and Urist McDoorremover into the 7/7 pit and start to flood the OTHER farm room.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dachande on September 21, 2010, 09:13:32 am
Been spending about an hour or two on a new fort I made. Found a great spot and I'm digging in. Only problem was there seemed to be limited trees on my level, so I had to send my dwarfs 5-6 Z levels down to the river to chop trees.

About 5 minutes ago, I decided to look a bit more north of my fortress.. and see the giant forest a stones-throw away. >_<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xellas84 on September 21, 2010, 10:56:41 am
Just had an astounding facepalm moment, combined with one of the most DISTURBING scenes.

Been using the pain room to train up my dorfs... 10 traps each loaded with 1 low-quality training spear, all hooked up to a lever and set as the training room.  Works amazingly... both as a training mechanism and as a baby remover.  Mother carried her baby into the training room, and stood there for several in-game days WATCHING as it got pounded into pulp in front of her.  Immediately downstairs (Not even 10 squares travel distance) was the hospital, fully stocked with a quite competent diagnostician set up as my CMD.  So this woman quite literally just watched her baby die in her arms out of SHEER SADISM.

Actually, now that I think about it, if she wasn't already in my military I'd be drafting her.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hirkyl on September 21, 2010, 12:31:39 pm
My first fortress was thriving untill a couple of horse foals snuck in. I had two squads of military which had been training for some years at that point, but without any actual combat experience save killing a couple of chipmunks. I first noticed the horses when all labour in the workshop level came to a halt. Fine I thought an army of five dwarves can surely handle two young horses... The horses werent hostile they didnt even chase after the civillians not to even mention biting. Yet they managed to single handedly destroy a whole fortress. The scared civillians refused to eat and the army was getting too thirsty and tired to fight after endlessly punching the ears(And nothing but the ears!) of the horses.
I now arm my military, use doors set as internal and have a strong dislike for horses.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gutanoth on September 21, 2010, 12:47:08 pm
Btw, what does setting doors as internal actually do? (i've never found out)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on September 21, 2010, 02:37:00 pm
Quote from: Gutanoth on September 21, 2010, 12:47:08 pm
Btw, what does setting doors as internal actually do? (i've never found out)

causes room designations from furniture (like dining hall and office) to ignore them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectre on September 21, 2010, 05:45:13 pm
-Ignore me-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samrobot on September 21, 2010, 10:36:38 pm
Just killedmy legendary farmer and legendary miner.  As some elves were leaving my fort i pulled what i thought was my bridge lever so im wondering why the elves havent been flung into some kind of tree yet and i see that Urist McPlanter has died after colliding with a object and so i go to his death and see that my irrigation lever was pulled so it poured into my empty resavior killing my planter and my miner's upper spine was broken so he suffocated
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thadius on September 22, 2010, 12:51:28 am
Two minutes ago, I realized Operation MountainHollow will severely limit my ability to transport magma down the inside of the mountain.

...Guess my smith isn't getting his fancy indoor smithing room for a while.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skivverus on September 22, 2010, 02:45:24 am
Okay, finally had a facepalm moment worth registering for.
Well, six.

Fortress was doing pretty well, dug out near the base of a valley next to a stream. A few deaths due to failed moods, but nothing really problematic. I'm setting an outer perimeter wall so that I don't have to relocate absolutely everything indoors right away (particularly the trade depot, as the entrance to the fort proper is a long two-tile-wide corridor that doubles back on itself for extra trap-laying and engraving purposes in the future). A few moods, the majority (but not all) resulting in failure, melancholy, and death (in that order) are the causes of the only casualties among the sixty-some dwarves I have around.
The perimeter wall is in fact almost complete, the exceptions being two trapped entrances - one on either side of the river - so that my dwarves can venture out if they need drugs herbs or timber; my military consists of half a dozen marksdwarves and another nine assorted-melee dwarves split up into two different squads so they can alternate training schedules via two custom schedules I've set up (labeled "oddmonths" and "evenmonths") and theoretically get some downtime.

Cue first goblin snatcher, arriving in the south part of my fort, in the midst of a few outdoors workshops.
This was not yet a facepalm moment; but it did elicit a "huh... that's odd." Both my perimeter wall entrances are on the north side. I'm not worried, though - the snatcher merely flees.
Cue two consecutive goblin ambushes. Same area. First facepalm. I speculate this is due to the recent artifact mechanism that showed up in my fortress with an estimated value of 26,400 dwarfbucks.
Upon closer inspection (and the hurried squad-station orders telling my military to get over there and get to work), I see the cause of the problem - I'd left a ramp untouched, and it was providing a back door entrance to the outdoor portion of my fort. After a pitched battle and a couple casualties, I dispatch the goblins and order the offending ramp finally removed.
I also order coffins built, but I have nowhere I deem suitable for catacombs at the moment, so I decide they will have to wait. The bodies are unforbidden, and taken to a communal graveyard upslope and downstream (which happens to be south). I'm coping reasonably well, I think. Fortress population's still low-sixties, and I get a few more dwarves with something resembling combat skills assigned to the militia.

I'm starting to get impatient with my miners (admittedly, I've only got two of them at the moment). How long can it take to remove one simple ramp? Turns out they're digging out just about everywhere else in the fortress except that ramp and the second cistern I've planned and consider second priority, and for that matter a few places outside the fortress too. Second facepalm, but I leave it be.

Cue possession of my militia commander. Third facepalm. She goes down and claims one of my two jeweler's workshops and starts hauling out the gem stockpile next door. She grabs about a dozen things in all, including some iron and clear glass, but fortunately she seems to have everything she needs and starts working. Meantime, the miners finally clear the ramp, and I set about fortifying my two main entrances further, as well as building a retracting wagon-worthy bridge across the stream (one of these main entrances, by the way, is not wagon-worthy, so this was somewhat necessary in any case). I don't have the flux stone for steel yet (and haven't found magma either, for that matter), so I've been working with stonefall traps for the most part, with a few pure-crossbow weapon traps and cage traps thrown in (and more of these just inside the fortress proper).

Militia commander completes her artifact: Berulshasad (insert umlauts and so on), "Bastionmusic", a pipe opal figurine of some dwarf I'd never heard of being surrounded and terrified by some cave spiders (which I'd never seen). There was also an image on it of my cook and one of his (many) legendary meals, and an image of circles. Third facepalm.
On the bright side, though, it's worth 80,400 dwarfbucks (read: a fifth of my created wealth up to and including that point). Nice! I could use the extra migrants that'll attract to replace my casualties. The bridges are set up (though only the inner one has its lever hooked up), I've a small army of both traps and dwarves to fend off ambushes, and hey look, the human caravan just showed up.

Cue two more goblin ambushes, and fourth facepalm.

Not exactly the kind of migrants I had in mind.
They're discovered by one of my off-duty melee dwarves, who is out getting high gathering plants with some dogs. Being off-duty, he naturally runs away, and actually manages to make it to the incoming caravan, though the dogs all end up dead. The caravan guards are pretty decently equipped to handle the ambushes, but nevertheless the fight makes it within the perimeter wall because, fifteen stonefall traps just isn't enough. I convince the militia to station themselves out where they can actually fight the enemy, meanwhile getting cancellation spam on account of a human pikeman, which elicits another "huh, that's odd" reaction, amplified when the (human) caravan guards start fighting said pikeman and eventually kill him.

Eventually the ambushes are stopped, but I'm down to fifty-two dwarves, five of which are military and three of which are confined to bed rest (translation: two military dwarves left standing). A little while later, I discover that my custom-designed training settings did not in fact have any orders associated with them, thus making my militia do nothing all year round. No wonder they died so quickly. Fifth facepalm.

Separately, I've got a few thieves and ambushers stuck in cages in the animal stockpile now, which I like. I recall reading somewhere you can take their equipment without having to take them out of the cage, but I'm not sure how to work this yet, so I settle for making a pit in the stream (still deep enough to drown in, and no ramps to climb out) to get the cages themselves back into circulation.

I have my newly-created one-tile river-pit get one of the goblin macemen assigned to it. Drown the bastard. A dwarf dutifully (for once) obliges by leading the goblin over to the pit, but it occurs to me that the pit I chose was ill-placed, as (by my judgment) it would force the dwarf to drag the goblin all the way around to the outside of the fort to get to the pit, which would just take too long. So I remove the pit area, place a new one next to the fishery, unpause... and get cancellation spam. Sixth facepalm. The goblin manages to escape with all his gear and a crossbow bolt earring as a souvenir, though one of the caravan guards and a melee dwarf chase him all the way.

All right, time to try again.
The next riverdump proceeds smoothly, but a fair amount of blood starts washing downriver. Slightly puzzled by this development, I have a look at the area and notice the trail of blood - and apparently a booted foot as well - starts rather earlier. A little after the prisoner crossed the trade depot, in fact.
Oh right. The caravan's still there.
I order the remaining maceman to be dumped in with somewhat more malicious intent.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on September 22, 2010, 05:44:59 am
Quote from: Skivverus on September 22, 2010, 02:45:24 am
meanwhile getting cancellation spam on account of a human pikeman, which elicits another "huh, that's odd" reaction, amplified when the (human) caravan guards start fighting said pikeman and eventually kill him.

Humans and Dwaves kidnapped by Goblins as children are raised as Goblins, and join raiding parties when they grow up; they can end up leading these parties.

Quote
as well as building a retracting wagon-worthy bridge across the stream

You say "stream" and  not "river", and you talk about digging a "pit" in it. If your dwarves can walk across a... long narrow body of water... wagons (and enemies) can cross it too, without needing a bridge. (Although it is sometimes esthetically pleasing to build one anyway..) In fact, in particularly rocky/forested terrain, oftentimes the local stream is the easiest way for caravans to reach your fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GaxkangtheUnbound on September 22, 2010, 05:50:47 am
Quote from: geoduck on September 22, 2010, 05:44:59 am
Quote from: Skivverus on September 22, 2010, 02:45:24 am
meanwhile getting cancellation spam on account of a human pikeman, which elicits another "huh, that's odd" reaction, amplified when the (human) caravan guards start fighting said pikeman and eventually kill him.

Humans and Dwaves kidnapped by Goblins as children are raised as Goblins, and join raiding parties when they grow up; they can end up leading these parties.

Quote
as well as building a retracting wagon-worthy bridge across the stream

You say "stream" and  not "river", and you talk about digging a "pit" in it. If your dwarves can walk across a... long narrow body of water... wagons (and enemies) can cross it too, without needing a bridge. (Although it is sometimes esthetically pleasing to build one anyway..) In fact, in particularly rocky/forested terrain, oftentimes the local stream is the easiest way for caravans to reach your fort.
Are you referencing brooks? Because brooks are the ones that can be walked on.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on September 22, 2010, 06:54:50 am
So, I just embarked once again, this time selecting an area with a goblin fortress, which I hoped would make my fortress interesting as I built my fortress while wiping out theirs. My wagon arrived inside the goblin fortress. Not in between a couple of buildings, inside one. On the third floor. As I started the game, there was what had to be the most awkward silence ever as the dwarves and goblins stared at each other, then I assigned all the dwarves to a squad and attacked. I managed to kill all the goblins on that floor, but all my dwarves ended up horribly injured.

My palm didn't leave my face till long after I abandoned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skivverus on September 22, 2010, 01:56:26 pm
Quote from: geoduck on September 22, 2010, 05:44:59 am
Humans and Dwarves kidnapped by Goblins as children are raised as Goblins, and join raiding parties when they grow up; they can end up leading these parties.
You say "stream" and not "river", and you talk about digging a "pit" in it. If your dwarves can walk across a... long narrow body of water... wagons (and enemies) can cross it too, without needing a bridge. (Although it is sometimes esthetically pleasing to build one anyway..) In fact, in particularly rocky/forested terrain, oftentimes the local stream is the easiest way for caravans to reach your fort.

Well, it's not a brook - the dwarves and caravans can't go across it (hence why I built the bridge) - and isn't really wide enough to be a full-fledged river, I think (it's brook width, just deeper), so what should I call it, then? And no, I didn't "dig" the pit, I designated it.

Edit: Also, I know in theory about captured humans/elves/dwarves/etc. growing up to participate in goblin attacks, but in a theoretical sort of way; the simultaneous presence of the human caravan guards was also somewhat confusing in this regard at first.

Edit 2: Figured out who that terrified dwarf surrounded by cave spiders was/is on the artifact. Turns out he's my bookkeeper.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on September 22, 2010, 11:20:58 pm
Quote from: Skivverus on September 22, 2010, 01:56:26 pm

Well, it's not a brook - the dwarves and caravans can't go across it (hence why I built the bridge) - and isn't really wide enough to be a full-fledged river, I think (it's brook width, just deeper), so what should I call it, then? And no, I didn't "dig" the pit, I designated it.

Ah. Digging is how how you cut through brook-surfaces to power water-wheels, and I jumped to conclusions.  :-\ As for what to call them..  it's probably best to avoid "stream" and use brook (walkable) or river (need a bridge.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 22, 2010, 11:22:43 pm
I'm fairly certain you don't need to channel out a brook to use it for water wheels.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nat on September 23, 2010, 04:46:10 am
Set up a nice fort with a new kind of defense that drops enemies into incredibly deep pits with spikes at the bottom.

Forgot the mod I'm playing has a flying enemy race.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on September 23, 2010, 12:20:11 pm
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on September 22, 2010, 11:22:43 pm
I'm fairly certain you don't need to channel out a brook to use it for water wheels.

The wiki claims you have to, and I seem to remember having to do it, but I'm too lazy to set up a fort just to test it. If anyone can confirm one way or the other, cool.

So.. facepalm for the wiki?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gutanoth on September 23, 2010, 03:41:14 pm
Yeah, ya have to. I generally do it first thing when i want to mill stuff, cuz water wheels are fairly strong and can power at least 4, many more if you stack them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shurikane on September 23, 2010, 04:34:48 pm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fanklok on September 23, 2010, 11:06:24 pm
Spent 15 minutes panicking because I cooked away all my booze and was waiting for my farms to yield some brewable crop. I then realized I had completely forgotten about the plant gather designation and could have been brewing strawberries and stuff.

The entire fortress was dying of thirst because I didn't have a damn rope for the well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JAFANZ on September 23, 2010, 11:26:28 pm
Quote from: geoduck on September 22, 2010, 11:20:58 pm
Quote from: Skivverus on September 22, 2010, 01:56:26 pm

Well, it's not a brook - the dwarves and caravans can't go across it (hence why I built the bridge) - and isn't really wide enough to be a full-fledged river, I think (it's brook width, just deeper), so what should I call it, then? And no, I didn't "dig" the pit, I designated it.

Ah. Digging is how how you cut through brook-surfaces to power water-wheels, and I jumped to conclusions.  :-\ As for what to call them..  it's probably best to avoid "stream" and use brook (walkable) or river (need a bridge.)

Hmm, AFAICT:
Brook = ~4 tiles wide, can be walked on, only contains "vermin" fish.
Stream = ~4 tiles wide, can't be walked on, contains non-"vermin" fish.
Minor River = as Stream, but wider (can't recall how wide).
River = as Minor River, but wider (can't recall how wide).
Major River = as River but wider (have seen 30+ tile wide Major Rivers).

Quote from: Fanklok on September 23, 2010, 11:06:24 pm
Spent 15 minutes panicking because I cooked away all my booze and was waiting for my farms to yield some brewable crop. I then realized I had completely forgotten about the plant gather designation and could have been brewing strawberries and stuff.

The entire fortress was dying of thirst because I didn't have a damn rope for the well.
You can also use chains instead of Ropes I believe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thadius on September 23, 2010, 11:27:01 pm
Quote from: Fanklok on September 23, 2010, 11:06:24 pm
Spent 15 minutes panicking because I cooked away all my booze and was waiting for my farms to yield some brewable crop. I then realized I had completely forgotten about the plant gather designation and could have been brewing strawberries and stuff.

The entire fortress was dying of thirst because I didn't have a damn rope for the well.

HINT: Booze doesn't cook anymore.  Be sure to tell your dwarves this!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MacMahoon on September 23, 2010, 11:30:30 pm
i just tested my combo shower/arena. it turns out that my design is slightly flawed. My plan was to have an automatic clean up system that would simply shunt the arena "waste" into the caverns. I didn't take into account the slight water pressure of tapping the river directly. I realized something was wrong when i watched a dwarf standing around in a huge open arena move to the fortification get pushed through it. then down a z level and then pushed off a ledge down 5 z levels into the cavern lake and to a watery grave.

I honestly haven't laughed that hard in a while. i savescummed as the other 9 dwarves and pets of my military followed shortly after.

my next plan is to repurpose that into a noble "happiness" room and betting chamber to see which stinking elf lasts the longest.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JAFANZ on September 23, 2010, 11:39:03 pm
Quote from: Thadius on September 23, 2010, 11:27:01 pm
HINT: Booze doesn't cook anymore.  Be sure to tell your dwarves this!

Umm... It does & it doesn't.

Cooking requires that One ingredient be solid the others can be booze, syrup, whatever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gutanoth on September 24, 2010, 12:49:43 am
Since quarry bushes can't be turned into alcohol, and they have lots of leaves produced, would it be a good idea to just make lots of those and turn the rest of your crops into alcohol and just cook as needed?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sebs on September 24, 2010, 02:22:19 am
I had the d-b-d facepalm as well, but I'm not going to bore you with another story of that. So here are my other facepalms.

1. Figuring out that I could use bins for stockpiles. Before that, I usually built giant finished goods stockpiles. Trading took long as well, since I had to mark every single item to be brought to the depot.

2. The biome keys in embark selection. Suddenly, there actually _were_ areas with river and no aquiver.

3. Now knowing that aquivers don't necessarily span over the entire map, I happily built the fortress over an aquiver, planning to use it for wells  and dig around it later. However, in fact, I had built the fortress _under_ the aquiver. This caused a disaster when I built some rooms for stockpiles (see facepalm 1) above the workshop area. Damp stone? That must be some pond, just go ahead, it will make some farming space...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xdarkcodex on September 24, 2010, 02:39:24 am
My indoor waterfall in my great hall killed everyone... nuff said. 12 years in game ended with 1 simple mistake.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on September 24, 2010, 03:29:07 am
Quote from: Gutanoth on September 24, 2010, 12:49:43 am
Since quarry bushes can't be turned into alcohol, and they have lots of leaves produced, would it be a good idea to just make lots of those and turn the rest of your crops into alcohol and just cook as needed?

Quarry bush doesn't count as a solid ingredient... atleast, it doesn't in 31.12

Found this out the hard way when all I had for cooking was booze, syrup, and quarry bush leaves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LoSboccacc on September 24, 2010, 07:31:44 am
built my very first drowning chamber, with a large reservoir and dozen floodgates as to maximize water pushing damage.

it was my only entrance obviously, and it was a two level high channeled corridor, with fortifications at the second level and the drowning chamber built to flood only the first level (no archers weren't flooded - not immediately)

enter the wandering dragon, while he was approaching the tunnel I readied myself for flood the chamber. as soon as it was in position, I pulled the lever and the first level was flooded. time passed, with the dragon quietly trapped in the chamber. as drowning the dragon was not really working I closed the gate and sent archers to finish him off (it was somewhat stunned by the many wood pointy weapons trap of the hall)

as soon as the gates were closed, the dragon happily started moving toward one, smashing it. tunnel flooded again, dragon killed by being pushed again by the water over the wooden pointed stuff. hurra!

but now, the tunnel was flooded without hope of automatic recovery, as the path from the reservoir to the tunnel was smashed open. so I closed the path from the river to the reservoir and dug another tunnel at the second level of the drowning chamber to put five pumps in order to quickly drain the reservoir.

pumps built, starting pump order given, and five dwarves happily started pumping water out. While waiting from the tunnel to clean, I diverted my attention to build an overpass bridge over the channel so that the incoming liason could get inside the fortress, as it was almost autumn.

and then drowning message started. game paused, I looked at the tunnel: it was filled with dwarves, some stunned, some unconscious, some injured. some drowned and most of them drowning. I dug a ramp for the one that could make it in time to exit the water while looking at what was causing the mess.

turns out one of the pump was not finished. turns out that the water pumped trough the relief channel froze as soon as it was outside the tunnel. turns out the returning pressure wave was pushing trough the missing pump of the line, throwing dwarves in the drowning chamber. that stopped the pumping, making the terrain safe again and attracting more dwarves to their death.

...guess what was the first one gone berserk in the tantrum spiral that followed?
the steelclad legendary axeman that was already unhappy for not having his room ready being a captain of the guard.

but the fortress eventually recovered... while the legendary mason was building the one hundred required coffins.

 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Argembarger on September 24, 2010, 08:50:32 am
I'm relatively new to Dwarf Fortress. I like to think I scaled the learning curve cliff, but I'm a long, long, LONG way from being adequate at this game. My problems arise from micromanagement and naive planning and such, but I'm typically a pretty careful guy for a dwarf (some would say rather un-dwarfy), and most of my deaths arise from outside forces and such, haven't yet managed to flood a fortress with water or otherwise.

However, last month I had quite a lot of fun. The Mirrored Picknavel was striking the earth at Doomdoomed the Doom of Dooms. Everything was going... mediocre, as per my style. Farming and brewing were up and running. I had a small 5-dwarf military protecting my 25 civilian dwarves. I was busy getting some furniture into bedrooms, pleased with the dining room I had just finished. It wasn't that big or fancy, but at the time it was the nicest I had ever made. Unfortunately, half of it was sandy loam, so I could only engrave a portion. But it had statues! And microcladamantine tables! My dwarves liked it too, they were always throwing parties instead of working, the devilish little scamps. Ah well, let them have their fun. Their existence up until now has been crouching in the damp darkness, chewing on cold, wet plump helmets, and falling asleep in the mud (except for the lucky... 4 that managed to snag a bed in the dorm).

What's this...? Urist McSociopath has randomly gone berserk?
Urist, please stop. There is absolutely no reason you should have just gone berserk. Your only unhappy thought was smelling a bit of miasma. And that was a week ago.
Oh god please put down that statue of a gazelle
Oh god he threw it at the party
so much blood
But hey, the party seems rather unaffected. Everyone ran out of the dining hall, then returned and resumed the party once Urist McSociopath was out of sight. Marvelous.

Now he's beating my farmers to death with his bare fists while they run in terror.

Oh look. My military is nowhere to be seen. That's... that's just awesome, guys. What the hell are you doing?

Oh, a goblin ambush.
OH GOD THEY KILLED MY MILITARY AND SUFFERED NO CASUALTIES

Now the goblins are running into my base. Obviously with all the dead bodies from Urist McSociopath's sociopathic urges, and the miasma from said dead bodies, a tantrum spiral is picking up. Now 4 dwarves are berserk, roughly 12 are dead, two are running for their lives from the berserk dwarves (and goblins), and the rest are at that goddamn party, living it up.

Perhaps the berserk dwarves and the goblins will kill each other off!

Or maybe they'll just launch a joint strike on the party.

The strength of your fortress has been broken!
*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Loof on September 24, 2010, 02:58:38 pm
The biggest facepalm moment I've had was when trying to drain my flooded mine. The flooding was pretty stupid, but not as dumb as th following actions by me.

The original plan was simple, connect a channel from the mine to my farm drain. This was made more complicated by one of my main passageways, which happened to be located right below my channel.

Well, I'll just have to dig under it, I thought, and constructed a complicated multi-level channel under the passage. When finally done digging, and stopping mah dorfs trying to pick up the precious claystone, the water wouldn't flow all the way. It was when trying to fix this problem I realized that I could have just dug above the passage instead of channeling, saving me all that work. Facepalms were had.

Currently, my fort is a labyrinth of tubes, mostly connected and used to irrigate caves and fill wells.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skivverus on September 25, 2010, 12:04:29 am
Update on the fortress plus additional facepalm(s): another three simultaneous ambushes reduced the population down to thirty-five, with two military dwarves; partially my fault due to a drawbridge mishap (first facepalm). The new mayor is the cook.
Second facepalm: the kids started throwing tantrums, which were harmless enough until one of them demolished a drawbridge. Specifically, the caravan-accessible one over the river/stream/whatever-you-want-to-call-it.
While he was standing on it (of course).
He drowned shortly afterwards.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sebs on September 25, 2010, 08:00:49 am
Wagon arrives at temperate embark site.

"Quick, Urist! Dig through that pond and make a farm room below it while it is still frozen"!
-"OK".

You know what happened.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: veok on September 25, 2010, 04:42:04 pm
Noticing the sub-subtitle on the main game menu changes.

Repeatedly exiting to the main menu to see various combinations for twenty minutes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: arzzult on September 26, 2010, 02:06:58 am
I read the above post then did the same thing because I hadn't noticed that before.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gutanoth on September 26, 2010, 04:49:18 am
they're all synonyms of greed and stubbornness you know?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pukako on September 26, 2010, 05:32:25 am
Clusteredhalls was going quite well - built at the base of a large volcano, full of magma to about 90 levels above me, magma forges churning out bronze goodies and everyone safe as I'd walled off a large portion of the outside world and lined the land outside that with bridges and cage traps.  No pits, just bridges and dozens of levers.

Worked quite well.  Several large sieges ended when the goblins ran through the gauntlet of raising and lowering bridges, and the survivors ran away. Collected about 60 caged goblins and trolls.  Had previously flooded half a level with magma getting said forges running, so put all them just beside the one magma-retaining floodgate.

Built the walls about 6 levels high, and was building it higher (for safety) when a large force of darkness descended from the other side of the volcano.  Turned out the highest level of the walls was actually touching a ramp to allow easy access.  Three times I scumsaved, and tried to hurry up the building of this highest level, and each time, the dwarves were slaughtered.  Forth time I realised that if I didn't try building higher, and didn't build the next level of stairs, they couldn't get into my fortress... Facepalm moment when I realised that in the previous three attempts I started off by hurrying to build a stairway around my traps.

That attempt went better - except when confronted by several squads of elite crossbowgoblins, I thought dwarves would stay safe behind four levels of wall.  No - they all climb up to the top level and get shot, until I manage to remove the lowest stair up the walls, leaving most of the population somewhere in the walls.

I decided to open the front drawbridge and let the fortress be slaughtered.  Mayhem as I put every lever on "pull" and it looked like it was all over, until a jeweller got enraged and chased four trolls around the map, killing them all, and the two surviving members of militia seemingly chased half the goblins off the map. 

But by this time I'd opened the magma floodgate (lower levels, central staircase leading into caverns). Goblins in metals traps roasted.  Hydra in wooden trap didn't, and escaped, killing my newly legendary wrestler.  Meanwhile lava hitting the cavern water slowed the FPS right down.

86 dwarves started that invasion, 34 survived, but just as I built 52 coffins and tombs, I got 27 migrants, including some useful skills, and all looked good, when the game crashed.  I'm not going through that trauma again...

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Victuz on September 26, 2010, 01:54:26 pm
Well... My fortress and 10 soldiers got butchered by a SINGLE goblin master thief... yeah...

It went like that. I just finished making entrenchments around my fortress (there were only 2 points of entrance to the "outside" area and I trapped both of them) soon a goblin master thief appeared in the entrenchment right below my traps (either he got there before I deleted all the ramps or he dodged traps and fell in), at first I ignored him and decided to let him starve. But my dwarves kept getting interrupted by him when they tried to rearm the traps on the entrance into the area. So I decided "meh It's just a thief, my 10 newbie soldiers will deal with him" so I opened a door to the entrenchment which basically led to a long corridor connected to the barracks (exactly for the reason of occasional cleaning the entrenchments), he got in there, went straight to barracks and when he got in there I locked him in with all 10 of my soldiers.

I should mention that 4 of my soldiers had 1 spearman skill and 6 of them had NO skill at using weapons whatsoever. I predicted that there will be damage but not THAT damage. After he easily butchered 8 of them (cutting the head out of 2 Oo) the other two marked as "crossbowdwarfs" just stood next to him and did nothing, naturally his reaction was:
Goblin Master thief: "we cool?"
Cowardly dwarfs: "yeah we cool, please don't kill us". I opened the door hoping that he will not kill anyone else and just go STRAIGHT to the exit... he didn't...
After he killed 10 more of my dwarves he got killed by my legendary miner who apparently hit him in the head with a pickaxe. At first I went "yay" but right after that 2 goblin ambushes arrived... Abandoning Fortress + epic facepalm.

Although I can't say, seeing my n00by soldiers getting butchered was fun :).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GaxkangtheUnbound on September 26, 2010, 01:58:45 pm
I butcher a few animals and chop a tree for my strange mood person.
Guess what?
He makes a high boot.
With depictions of the ascension of a draconian to primarch(King), promotion of a draconian to arch dracon(General), and a bat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bremarv on September 26, 2010, 02:17:34 pm
an immigrant with skills in armor and weapon smithing gets a mood shortly after arriving. On the way back to the fort he is ambushed by goblins who gets his legs and slaugther him just before the military arrives  >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: eyemdastrongest on September 26, 2010, 06:02:20 pm
Setup a fort in the caverns, and bunked it down with bridges so when the forgotten beast's started coming, they wouldn't get in... Only to have one come up through my well...

 :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vhorthex on September 26, 2010, 08:50:49 pm
Carefully tending to my little squad of 3 dwarfs for about 1 year, getting ready for the inevitable waves of gargoyles (Genesis Mod).

And then, finally, Gargoyles arrive! The military is assembled, they wait for them to swoop in. The dwarfs charge fiercly towards them, the gargoyles land near a little lake next to the fortress. The battle ensues around the lake, we are even assisted by some elf caravan guards. Epic!

BUT... As they fight near the lake, my dwarfs axe gets stuck in the gargoyle, and the elf rushes the gargoyle all 3 fall in the lake...

The gargoyle dies while vomiting incessently, while my dwarf drowns alongside the elf. Oh and to paint a grimmer picture, the dwarf drowning was a female and her kid watched the whole thing on the edge of the lake... I tried to channel a ramp but it was too late.

Fighting near lakes is bad... M'kay!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NKDietrich on September 26, 2010, 11:13:35 pm
Generating the same world over and over for 15 minutes because I forgot to delete the seed from the world gen file... and not realizing I was doing it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: arzzult on September 27, 2010, 02:53:34 am
Ah here is one that just hit me.

"Urist McExpeditionLeader is taken by a fey mood!"
"The outpost liaison Urist McWhatEver from Tun Dume has arrived."
"A caravan from Tun Dumed has arrived."
"A diplomat has left unhappy."

*sigh* and all he made was a galena mug with no decorations. Valued at 12000 dwarfbucks though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serio on September 27, 2010, 08:01:02 am
Quote from: Vhorthex on September 26, 2010, 08:50:49 pm
BUT... As they fight near the lake, my dwarfs axe gets stuck in the gargoyle, and the elf rushes the gargoyle all 3 fall in the lake...
And ever since that day, the dwarves have had a tumultuous relationship with the elves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Boes on September 27, 2010, 06:53:54 pm
I found out why it's a bad idea to mod the raws to have:

[MELTING_POINT:9000]
[BOILING_POINT:9001]

for all the junk stone laying around my fortress,  I forgot that the bridges that were holding back both the magma and ocean from filling my fortress were made from some of the junk stone that I had changed.

Dead: 25

1 baby is all that survived that flood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on September 27, 2010, 06:58:39 pm
*sublimate* Hey, where did the walls goarghlebleughblubblub...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on September 28, 2010, 08:56:17 am
Quote from: GaxkangtheUnbound on September 26, 2010, 01:58:45 pm
I butcher a few animals and chop a tree for my strange mood person.
Guess what?
He makes a high boot.
With depictions of the ascension of a draconian to primarch(King), promotion of a draconian to arch dracon(General), and a bat.
I know how you feel, a right gauntlet made out of a single bar of copper with a picture of itself on it  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on September 28, 2010, 09:15:21 am
I will punch you while I punch you while I punch you...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: deoxys413 on September 28, 2010, 10:41:40 am
I'm not sure if this qualifies, but I facepalmed anywho. Wombat demons are the only demons that have poisonous blood in my world, so when they show up on the north side of the map and start immediately pathing south I freak out. Everyone doesn't manage to get in on time so I get ready to save-scum. The demon pathed to the south of the map to punch out the elven trade liason that was out there, and then left the map from the north end... *relief sigh*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadowzfire on September 28, 2010, 10:57:45 am
It was one of my first fortresses, set in a nice valley, lots of trees, magma and all sorts of other undead things. I was mining down until suddenly an announcement of interest came to me. My fish cleaner had apparently gone insane... What proceeded was the scariest moments my fortress ever had, no my fortress was slaughtered, not by demons, not by undead, by the fish cleaner. He killed all 30 of the population. I payed no attention to him going mad thinking my champions would slaughter him but no apparently it didn't happen like so.

So now I take great care not to piss off my fish cleaners. Their dangerous I tell you dangerous!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GaxkangtheUnbound on September 28, 2010, 02:52:07 pm
Quote from: shadowzfire on September 28, 2010, 10:57:45 am
It was one of my first fortresses, set in a nice valley, lots of trees, magma and all sorts of other undead things. I was mining down until suddenly an announcement of interest came to me. My fish cleaner had apparently gone insane... What proceeded was the scariest moments my fortress ever had, no my fortress was slaughtered, not by demons, not by undead, by the fish cleaner. He killed all 30 of the population. I payed no attention to him going mad thinking my champions would slaughter him but no apparently it didn't happen like so.

So now I take great care not to piss off my fish cleaners. Their dangerous I tell you dangerous!
Fish cleaners are goblin insurgents.
"Oh please, fat dwarf!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vhorthex on September 28, 2010, 06:58:42 pm
Wow,

This one happened yesterday. And I have to say, i'm a little puzzled! lol

My dwarves initially placed the wagon atop a 1 Z level high hill along side a huge mountain. The hill was of decent size, so I decided to start digging on the side of the hill, and later change it to some kind of keep on top of the hill, with a moat all around. The idea was grand.

Well, I quickly reazlied that the level directly under the surface, was being used for my huge stockroom. Totally didn't think that through. So I said to myself, bahh wtver, i'll just make a keep for now and deal with the moat later.

So I build ramps and start building a draw bridge. Everything is... "going fine". Until, I get a nice message.

(Not sure of exactly what it said)

"A Collapse has occured!!"

I'm like woa! Bam the bridge that was being built breaks down, that or the floor tiles I was trying to build next to the ramps. In any case, it's not TOOO bad, the dust blew on one of the builders and he had "trouble breathing". I thought to myself Meh, i'll have to build supports.

Here was the stupid mistake, I didn't tell the builder to stop it with the bridge and or the floor tiles I was laying out. And BOOUM! Again, another collapse. Only this time, it literally broke through the ground and started spraying dust all over my Fortress first floor.

At this point I start panicking just a bit, since 1 of the legendary Masons got pretty beat up and was unconscious on the floor. As I'm building an emergency Hospital... (Yeah... didn't tell the builders to stop yet). BABOUM! Another colapse.

This time, it made a 1 X 3 hole on the surface, 1 X 2 hole on the first floor, and finally a 1 X 1 hole on the third floor. It sucked in a bunch of wood and ore, the legendary Mason and, some other dwarf. Oh and I forgot the dwarf that was having trouble breathing, I guess that last cloud of dust was too much, as he passed away right there.

So I CANCELLED those suicidal building orders and fortified my fortress.

I mean, I was prepping for the hordes of evil that would eventually befall my fortress. Not kill my dwarfs with funky architecture...

Like I mentioned earlier, I'm not sure if it was the bridge build order that was wonky, or the floor tiles? Or even a lack of support? I'm not all too sure about it.

In any case, the 2 other dwarfs survived after INTENSE surgery & bone setting. The worst was the legendary Mason who got both upper & lower arms SMASHED, and his right foot.

No idea who he manages today, but he seems to be ok lol.

Cheers,



Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Plutoman on September 28, 2010, 07:05:31 pm
I was making some catwalks, messed up a bit.  Thought it was no biggie, I'd just deconstruct them.  My manager at the time (also the one named after my girlfriend) decided to go do that for me.  Don't really know why, but ah well.

Got there, she went to the very end, deconstructed the one on the inside, promptly fell 7 stories and landed on my bookkeeper and a kid.  All died, though the bookkeeper and the kid took a while to bleed out.

I then passed on the information to my gf, that was interesting.  She told me that if I wanted to break up with her that there *were* better ways. -.-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Boes on September 28, 2010, 07:07:15 pm
I just found out that if you generate a world with zero caverns then there are no plants that allow you to make cloth or spider silk :-(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xdarkcodex on September 28, 2010, 07:13:47 pm
Quote from: Plutoman on September 28, 2010, 07:05:31 pm
I was making some catwalks, messed up a bit.  Thought it was no biggie, I'd just deconstruct them.  My manager at the time (also the one named after my girlfriend) decided to go do that for me.  Don't really know why, but ah well.

Got there, she went to the very end, deconstructed the one on the inside, promptly fell 7 stories and landed on my bookkeeper and a kid.  All died, though the bookkeeper and the kid took a while to bleed out.

I then passed on the information to my gf, that was interesting.  She told me that if I wanted to break up with her that there *were* better ways. -.-
Haha you told your girlfriend she died? :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Plutoman on September 28, 2010, 08:15:34 pm
Quote from: xdarkcodex on September 28, 2010, 07:13:47 pm
Quote from: Plutoman on September 28, 2010, 07:05:31 pm
I was making some catwalks, messed up a bit.  Thought it was no biggie, I'd just deconstruct them.  My manager at the time (also the one named after my girlfriend) decided to go do that for me.  Don't really know why, but ah well.

Got there, she went to the very end, deconstructed the one on the inside, promptly fell 7 stories and landed on my bookkeeper and a kid.  All died, though the bookkeeper and the kid took a while to bleed out.

I then passed on the information to my gf, that was interesting.  She told me that if I wanted to break up with her that there *were* better ways. -.-
Haha you told your girlfriend she died? :o

Yeah...  maybe not the best idea.  Then again, she's as much of a geek as I am.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on September 28, 2010, 08:21:17 pm
My wife once went berserk and brutally slaughtered both myself and our daughter, as well as all of our friends, before she was put down by a skeletal elk. She was last dorf standing, and as such, this was the end of our fortress.

All because I didn't have any leather.

She lol'd when I told her.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sebs on September 29, 2010, 03:00:20 am
I'm not a native speaker (as you may have noticed :) ). When I first saw a "hoary marmot" I assumed it was what is actually called a "mammoth", so I sent my military to kill this giant beast before it could do any damage. They killed it with only one hit, which made me think I had an extremely strong military...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GaxkangtheUnbound on September 29, 2010, 05:32:07 am
Quote from: sebs on September 29, 2010, 03:00:20 am
I'm not a native speaker (as you may have noticed :) ). When I first saw a "hoary marmot" I assumed it was what is actually called a "mammoth", so I sent my military to kill this giant beast before it could do any damage. They killed it with only one hit, which made me think I had an extremely strong military...
So you pitted 'em against magma men?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rastaan on September 29, 2010, 07:04:03 am
Trying desperately to save the life of my dehydrated miner (who is resting in the hospital), by building wells, buckets, cancelling jobs, assigning and re-assigning labours on my lazy and heartless idlers; only to realise that I'd completely walled off the entire hospital.

Turns out I'm a freudian bastard.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bremarv on September 29, 2010, 02:03:15 pm
started my new/first magma pump, going all the way up. forgot that all of the map have an aquafier at some point, so got a 50z or so waterfall. the levels from cavern 3 down to the magma sea is now mostly 7/7.

3 people, a legendary engraver  >:(, a high skilled miner and a random dwarf got flushed down the hole I was using for magma glass smelter

edit: another 2 facepalms

1: starts building walls to stop the aquafier. in the name of efficency I dig out lots of the dirt wall at once, increasing the water pouring out and making it even harder for the masons afterwards.

2: forgot to use magma safe rock. I will have to tear this wall down sometime later and build one thats magma safe :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JAFANZ on September 29, 2010, 03:34:26 pm
Quote from: bremarv on September 29, 2010, 02:03:15 pm
2: forgot to use magma safe rock. I will have to tear this wall down sometime later and build one thats magma safe :(
Walls, being Constructions, are inherently Magma-safe, you could build a Wall out of Ice & magma wouldn't be able to melt it.

Magma-safe is a concern for Buildings (e.g. Doors, Floodgates, Bridges, etcetera), Magma Workshops, & Mechanisms.

Ok, and anything else you want to immerse in magma but recover intact (e.g. bins of lignite).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jordrake on September 29, 2010, 03:58:10 pm
Just embarked in a temperate biome, which meant snowy winters. My caravan happens to land halfway on top of a frozen pool. I couldn't tell at first because of the snow covering, but I realized a little later that both have my goods and my temporary butchers were on top of a frozen pool. So I deconstruct my butcher's and set up a refuse stockpile for the wolf bones and fat. Nobody felt the need to move them there, but no big deal. The pool melts, but my losses are minimal. Or so I thought.
I was setting up my metal industry. I built two smelters, one for coke and one for ore. Then I started building a forge.
No access to fire-safe anvil.
Then it hit me.
It was in the lake.
That's my metalworking industry dead until the winter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on September 29, 2010, 04:11:09 pm
Quote from: Jordrake on September 29, 2010, 03:58:10 pm
Just embarked in a temperate biome, which meant snowy winters. My caravan happens to land halfway on top of a frozen pool. I couldn't tell at first because of the snow covering, but I realized a little later that both have my goods and my temporary butchers were on top of a frozen pool. So I deconstruct my butcher's and set up a refuse stockpile for the wolf bones and fat. Nobody felt the need to move them there, but no big deal. The pool melts, but my losses are minimal. Or so I thought.
I was setting up my metal industry. I built two smelters, one for coke and one for ore. Then I started building a forge.
No access to fire-safe anvil.
Then it hit me.
It was in the lake.
That's my metalworking industry dead until the winter.

Drain the pool. Dig down next to it, make a smallish room, and drain said pool into the room. TaDa! you have your anvil back.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jordrake on September 29, 2010, 04:13:59 pm
Quote from: FuzzyDoom on September 29, 2010, 04:11:09 pm
Quote from: Jordrake on September 29, 2010, 03:58:10 pm
Just embarked in a temperate biome, which meant snowy winters. My caravan happens to land halfway on top of a frozen pool. I couldn't tell at first because of the snow covering, but I realized a little later that both have my goods and my temporary butchers were on top of a frozen pool. So I deconstruct my butcher's and set up a refuse stockpile for the wolf bones and fat. Nobody felt the need to move them there, but no big deal. The pool melts, but my losses are minimal. Or so I thought.
I was setting up my metal industry. I built two smelters, one for coke and one for ore. Then I started building a forge.
No access to fire-safe anvil.
Then it hit me.
It was in the lake.
That's my metalworking industry dead until the winter.

Drain the pool. Dig down next to it, make a smallish room, and drain said pool into the room. TaDa! you have your anvil back.
It's late. I totally didn't think of that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xtank5 on September 29, 2010, 04:23:42 pm
Quote from: Jordrake on September 29, 2010, 04:13:59 pm
Quote from: FuzzyDoom on September 29, 2010, 04:11:09 pm
Quote from: Jordrake on September 29, 2010, 03:58:10 pm
Just embarked in a temperate biome, which meant snowy winters. My caravan happens to land halfway on top of a frozen pool. I couldn't tell at first because of the snow covering, but I realized a little later that both have my goods and my temporary butchers were on top of a frozen pool. So I deconstruct my butcher's and set up a refuse stockpile for the wolf bones and fat. Nobody felt the need to move them there, but no big deal. The pool melts, but my losses are minimal. Or so I thought.
I was setting up my metal industry. I built two smelters, one for coke and one for ore. Then I started building a forge.
No access to fire-safe anvil.
Then it hit me.
It was in the lake.
That's my metalworking industry dead until the winter.

Drain the pool. Dig down next to it, make a smallish room, and drain said pool into the room. TaDa! you have your anvil back.
It's late. I totally didn't think of that.
And then turn that room into a farm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bohandas on September 29, 2010, 05:45:08 pm
Quote from: xtank5 on September 29, 2010, 04:23:42 pm
Quote from: Jordrake on September 29, 2010, 04:13:59 pm
Quote from: FuzzyDoom on September 29, 2010, 04:11:09 pm
Quote from: Jordrake on September 29, 2010, 03:58:10 pm
Just embarked in a temperate biome, which meant snowy winters. My caravan happens to land halfway on top of a frozen pool. I couldn't tell at first because of the snow covering, but I realized a little later that both have my goods and my temporary butchers were on top of a frozen pool. So I deconstruct my butcher's and set up a refuse stockpile for the wolf bones and fat. Nobody felt the need to move them there, but no big deal. The pool melts, but my losses are minimal. Or so I thought.
I was setting up my metal industry. I built two smelters, one for coke and one for ore. Then I started building a forge.
No access to fire-safe anvil.
Then it hit me.
It was in the lake.
That's my metalworking industry dead until the winter.

Drain the pool. Dig down next to it, make a smallish room, and drain said pool into the room. TaDa! you have your anvil back.
It's late. I totally didn't think of that.
And then turn that room into a farm.

That's exactly what I was thinking!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GaxkangtheUnbound on September 29, 2010, 05:58:12 pm
Quote from: Bohandas on September 29, 2010, 05:45:08 pm
Quote from: xtank5 on September 29, 2010, 04:23:42 pm
Quote from: Jordrake on September 29, 2010, 04:13:59 pm
Quote from: FuzzyDoom on September 29, 2010, 04:11:09 pm
Quote from: Jordrake on September 29, 2010, 03:58:10 pm
Just embarked in a temperate biome, which meant snowy winters. My caravan happens to land halfway on top of a frozen pool. I couldn't tell at first because of the snow covering, but I realized a little later that both have my goods and my temporary butchers were on top of a frozen pool. So I deconstruct my butcher's and set up a refuse stockpile for the wolf bones and fat. Nobody felt the need to move them there, but no big deal. The pool melts, but my losses are minimal. Or so I thought.
I was setting up my metal industry. I built two smelters, one for coke and one for ore. Then I started building a forge.
No access to fire-safe anvil.
Then it hit me.
It was in the lake.
That's my metalworking industry dead until the winter.

Drain the pool. Dig down next to it, make a smallish room, and drain said pool into the room. TaDa! you have your anvil back.
It's late. I totally didn't think of that.
And then turn that room into a farm.

That's exactly what I was thinking!
Same here
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ungulateman on September 29, 2010, 10:17:19 pm
There are people who farm in different ways? Anvil-fresh water is the best for your dwarven crops!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Voiddarkness on October 01, 2010, 12:58:01 am
Embarking and setting up quickly outside until the  fort was secure to move in.......

Didn't realize the skeleton bald eagles 30 z-levels up would terrify my dwarves from acquiring the necessary food and booze from the very nearby stockpiles outside. 

Watched for 30 minutes as they slowly starved to death and dehydrated while they ran almost to the stockpile and scream away in fear from the eagles.

You'd think their hunger pains would eventually circumvent their fear. Damn you pansy dwarves
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GaxkangtheUnbound on October 01, 2010, 05:47:59 am
Constructing a multiple z-level tower, only to find a mountain titan is paying a visit.
I managed to seal him in, but the cancellation spam is too great.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kearn on October 01, 2010, 12:56:08 pm
I was making a huge elaborate farm and was going to muddy it with a brook.

Then I realized that brooks refill. FAST.

And that I forgot to put a floodgate with a lever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: link6065 on October 01, 2010, 01:16:30 pm
I built an obsiden tower, and had my swordsmen training up top. they all parished in a bloody mess or fell 28 stories to there doom.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on October 01, 2010, 04:30:23 pm
Built a giant 70 z-level pump stack, so much time spent making things and digging. The pumps were free hanging mostly. I turn it on, it fucking bursts into flames then the entire comes down on top of itself. Later examination reveals the pipes and corkscrews for a MAGMA pump were wooden.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kearn on October 01, 2010, 04:37:09 pm
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on October 01, 2010, 04:30:23 pm
Built a giant 70 z-level pump stack, so much time spent making things and digging. The pumps were free hanging mostly. I turn it on, it fucking bursts into flames then the entire comes down on top of itself. Later examination reveals the pipes and corkscrews for a MAGMA pump were wooden.

lol

that sucks, you should have thrown your kittens in there
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zemalf on October 01, 2010, 05:04:23 pm
I found a lovely natural waterfall when I embarked, with the water falling deep underground (about ten levels) and post-waterfall brook going out the map underground. Very beautiful indeed... I immediately started planning to use the brook for power and water.

With my fortress just turning 2 years, I was on the last stages of harnessing the power from the brook with waterwheel farm (water and irrigation was OK already). Everything was ready and all I had to do was finish it, letting the water out just next to the waterfall (back into the brook) and pull the levers to let the water flow.

The chief (expedition leader) and the cook, both legendary miners, and also lovers, volunteered for the job. It was supposed to be simple channeling job, no biggie. But at the last minute, I changed my plans as I realized I didn't have to go above the ground to let the water out of my tunnels, but I could dig straight into the waterfall instead and still be safe, or so I thought... Miners went at it, and then all hell mist broke loose. Water flowing, a whole lot of mist everywhere and I couldn't see my mining-duo anywhere...

First I didn't know what happened. Then I realized that the chief was dead. It took me a moment to pause the game, and then I found the body under the waterfall, ten or so levels down...

But the cook lived to tell the tale. After witnessing terrible death of her lover, she was comforted by a lovely waterfall, shrugged it all off and fell asleep :)

true Iron Chef she was - Smashed leg and broken finger, but nothing too serious (yet), and after she woke up, she made a stairway up for herself, and once on the surface, she limped towards the hospital...

...but the above was not the face palm moment

it was when I saw a message that my "doc" had died "after falling and meeting a solid object"

I forgot to cancel the mining plans that caused the whole waterfall mining accident and the good'ol Doc wasn't too scared of the chief dying and seeing the cook limp out of the mist with bloody leg and hand, but rushed in to finish the job...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Romeofalling on October 01, 2010, 08:52:44 pm
Just got a fresh wave of immigrants in. Six of them were Metalsmiths, novice to adequate (I already have 3 legendary metalsmiths, thanks to threeartifact iron grates). Eight of them are Accomplished-or-better Liars. One of them is an Adequate Pacifier, Adequate Intimidator. He's got a grating, raspy voice and is married to a Novice Negotiator.

The only ones who did NOT have any social skill is a lovely couple with 2.5 children, a cat and a dog. The wife is a Grand Master Cheese Maker / Novice Weaponsmith. The husband is a High Master Soaper / Novice Armorer.

Truly, words fail me.


Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 01, 2010, 09:02:02 pm
I just spent ten minutes wondering why the hell I couldn't smelt the tons of native copper my miners had been shitting out recently, only to realize that I had been trying to queue the tasks at my magma kiln.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ungulateman on October 01, 2010, 10:57:18 pm
My military keep stabbing giant eagles in the face when they're about a couple of inches from my cage traps. :/
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Romeofalling on October 01, 2010, 11:09:16 pm
Quote from: ungulateman on October 01, 2010, 10:57:18 pm
My military keep stabbing giant eagles in the face when they're about a couple of inches from my cage traps. :/

I feel your pain.

Just had my first goblin ambush in .14 and I got so excited to try out the new military screen, that I selected all my squads and told them to run out and kill the gobbos. So, they each grabbed their equipment and walked, one-by-one, out my trapped entryway, into the valley beneath the gobbos, where their crossbows had clear line of sight. Would've lost them all if it hadn't been for the line of cage traps I'd set up to collect meat-animals with.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mrtspence on October 02, 2010, 02:02:15 pm
Goddammit. Was digging out a reservoir behind my walls to feed my pressure washer (that will wash enemies down 60 z levels onto a steel spike--the water drains into my first cavern). Designated the entire job to be done at once. 3 miners have broken legs, and another has died (Neil Patrick Harris III). WHY WON'T THEY DIG OUT THE TOP LAYERS FIRST!!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DuckThatQuacks on October 02, 2010, 06:41:25 pm
It takes me a long time to scroll through lists -- the stocks list, the units list, etc. -- because my laptop doesn't have page up and page down keys. So I'm always hate having to scroll through the lists, because I can only use the arrow keys and it is soooo slow.

I've owned my laptop for over four years. Minutes ago, I noticed for the first time that the arrow keys say "page ^", "page v", "< home", and "end >". I can press fn + up/down to do page up or page down. It took me four years to notice this. Granted, I didn't have much need for page up or page down until I started playing Dwarf Fortress a few months ago, but still -- four years!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JAFANZ on October 02, 2010, 11:06:38 pm
Quote from: DuckThatQuacks on October 02, 2010, 06:41:25 pm
It takes me a long time to scroll through lists -- the stocks list, the units list, etc. -- because my laptop doesn't have page up and page down keys. So I'm always hate having to scroll through the lists, because I can only use the arrow keys and it is soooo slow.

I've owned my laptop for over four years. Minutes ago, I noticed for the first time that the arrow keys say "page ^", "page v", "< home", and "end >". I can press fn + up/down to do page up or page down. It took me four years to notice this. Granted, I didn't have much need for page up or page down until I started playing Dwarf Fortress a few months ago, but still -- four years!

Umm... I'm pretty sure you can also reassign the scrolling to other keys than PgUp & PgDn from the keybindings menu in DF...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pukako on October 02, 2010, 11:11:36 pm
Wondered why Urist McUselessPeasant was so happy, and was leading in kids produced.  Turns out I gave his tiny hovel my first artifact - a 'shell opal door', worth 1/2 the total value of the fort.

What's be bet if I remove it, he will commit suicide or something...

Be better if this was the first time I've done it - gave a farmer a dog bone bed (artifact) - 8 kids later....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on October 02, 2010, 11:12:22 pm
Wow, his wife must've really liked that bed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thadius on October 02, 2010, 11:37:32 pm
So, wait, you're saying valuable artifacts make married dwarves more 'productive'?

Congrats.  You've discovered Dwarven Prozac and kicked off the Dwarven Selective Breeding Program.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on October 02, 2010, 11:56:16 pm
Mayor: I grant this newlywed couple a masterwork table as a wedding gift.

Couple: Oh, thank you, ser, we appreci...

Mayor: And in return, the Fortress expects no less than a dozen new workers from this couple. Off you go, for the good of the Mountainhomes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drakeero on October 03, 2010, 01:01:05 am
Eh, being kinda nooby and fresh to DF, my facepalm moment is kinda tame I believe.

It was winter and some dwarves had gotten the bad habit of using the iced over river as a shortcut while carrying cut wood.  Then the ice poofed and I'm short two more dwarves.  Ug, it wouldn't be so bad if hadn't immigrants stopped showing up.  Why?  I have a stable economy [not for long if some dwarves don't decide to quit their "break" and get back to work] and a bunch of wealth and more booze then the mountainhomes themselves of a dozen different varieties.

All the idiots probably decided to go to Boatmurdered instead....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stworca on October 03, 2010, 03:55:22 am
My immovable fortress was almost ready. Strong fortress on ground level, lots of traps, dug deep and still lived.

I finished channeling my moat and went back to mining (as my magma forges had to be expanded) a minute later i came back to ground -1 level to order more Still's constructed and.. Yes.. The moat..  :P

I keep owning myself with channel command


Not to mention dwarves walling themselves on the wrong side of hell...  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on October 03, 2010, 04:45:08 am
Given the typical dwarven fort, wouldn't YOU prefer hell?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stworca on October 03, 2010, 04:47:49 am
Quote from: Lord Shonus on October 03, 2010, 04:45:08 am
Given the typical dwarven fort, wouldn't YOU prefer hell?

A fair point!  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hvlkn on October 03, 2010, 04:48:29 am
Quote from: Lord Shonus on October 03, 2010, 04:45:08 am
Given the typical dwarven fort, wouldn't YOU prefer hell?

definitely
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mythos on October 03, 2010, 05:29:32 pm
I just had a tremendous one that made me actually facepalm. I got a message saying that an Ettin had come. I immediately mobilized my military to deal with the new threat, giving them a kill order to stop the Ettin. And then... they went to the statue garden. And sat there... and that's not even the facepalm. I proceed to panic, only to then realize with a mix of relief and feelings of stupidity that apparently Ettins are vulnerable to cage traps. I now have a caged Ettin.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on October 03, 2010, 08:15:07 pm
Embarked on a map that is partially aquifer, and digging out the first rooms I discovered damp stone.  Since it is actual stone and not soil I'm thinking the aquifer itself is in the soil layer above and the indicators are just there because it's adjacent to water, not actually part of the aquifer.

I dig a little test channel into the soil above and sure enough, it fills up with water.  Which I falsely believed confirmed my hypothesis.  And then I carried on with the workshop room digging as normal.

I was wrong.

Fortunately I was paranoid and kept a close eye on the mining, spotted the water immediately, and evacuated all floors at and below that level so no one died from the mistake.  But that big oddly shaped half-fortress full of water directly under the main entrance is going to be pretty hard to explain to the mountainhome.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: deoxys413 on October 04, 2010, 08:12:41 am
Quote from: Mythos on October 03, 2010, 05:29:32 pm
I just had a tremendous one that made me actually facepalm. I got a message saying that an Ettin had come. I immediately mobilized my military to deal with the new threat, giving them a kill order to stop the Ettin. And then... they went to the statue garden. And sat there... and that's not even the facepalm. I proceed to panic, only to then realize with a mix of relief and feelings of stupidity that apparently Ettins are vulnerable to cage traps. I now have a caged Ettin.

I had a similar instance with a wombat clown in hell, it's the only variety that has poisonous blood, so I naturally freak out when they start pathing my way.

She went from the northmost tile to the southmost to scratch an elven trade liason in half and then exited the map on the north side. I'm not really sure if I should honor her or what.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadowzfire on October 04, 2010, 09:09:52 am
I've dug around a entire demon fortress once and surrounded it, i never went in it though for the fear of the one-humped zombie camel and other demons.

Dwarves: I have you surrounded, come out peacefully.
Demon on the other side of 1 square wall: RAWRRR!
Random Miner: Digs out 1 square wall: *is repeatedly raped by demons*
Dwarves: CHARGE!!!!

Of course, I don't really want to remember the rest of what happened that day... (On my friends fort) It wasn't my fault I swear  ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: magmaholic on October 04, 2010, 01:11:05 pm

Quote from: AncientEnemy on April 20, 2009, 09:18:57 pm
discovering the d->b menu.

oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones
!!!!!!!!!
RAWR!!!
just discovered it!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zidane on October 04, 2010, 05:09:21 pm
I hit warm stone and I thought " cool magma, I'll just dig to the top of the magma sea.

What I didn't know was that my first exploritory shaft would pierce a vein of adamantite... with predictable results... Atleast I now have REALLY REALLY nice picks for the new miners. I gave my last pick to the sole survivor, whom I named Kilroy the Brave.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TomiTapio on October 04, 2010, 05:57:29 pm
Quote from: Drakeero on October 03, 2010, 01:01:05 am
It was winter and some dwarves had gotten the bad habit of using the iced over river as a shortcut while carrying cut wood.  Then the ice poofed and I'm short two more dwarves. 

Might be worth looking into: convert stones laying around into rough floors. Much masonry skills gained.
Safer pools because you never know which way they'll dodge in the heat of the battle.

Quote from: Mythos on October 03, 2010, 05:29:32 pm
apparently Ettins are vulnerable to cage traps. I now have a caged Ettin.

Vanilla DF problem that wooden cages (smaller than wagons) stop dragons and colossi. One of the reasons I prefer modding and fine-tuning the DF.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GHudston on October 04, 2010, 08:54:41 pm
I recently decided that I'd try playing DF in the classic ascii for the first time (not quite, I'm still using a square tileset ;D) so that I could get a lot more onto my screen at once.

So I embark at my new fortress of Cryptzeal and begin chipping away at the mountains when, suddenly, I spy a pair of lower case g's on the horizon. Now, I've read enough "Let's Play"'s to know that a lower case g is a goblin. I have no dwarves with any combat ability and I haven't even begun to move into the safety of the mountain so, naturally, I nearly have a heart attack and start making emergency battle plans.

They were goats.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: castun on October 04, 2010, 09:49:02 pm
Well just had a facepalm moment myself.  Was trying to collapse a large part of the overhanging floor sticking out above my fortress entrance by channeling it off.  Even though I went to the trouble of setting a restricted area where NOT to stand (I'm guessing they ignore this when performing certain tasks?), he still decided to move to the wrong side just as he dug the last piece.  And died.

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/fa/718smiley.png/400px-718smiley.png)

Perhaps I should've just walled off that area instead.  Then again, I have the feeling he would still be in the same predicament.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: petersohn on October 05, 2010, 02:03:09 am
I decided to get rid of some unwanted items with magma. The problem: some kind of non-magma safe material got into my door holding back the magma, which got destroyed, so I couldn't shut off the flow. No problem, said I, just channel out the floor above, and pour water on the magma. Another problem: I designated 2 rows at once for channeling. The result was predictable: a cave in killed my miner, and some other dwarves (due to magma mist I think). OK, be more cautious next time.

A bit of time later, other dwarves start bleeding to death. WTF? Looking at it, the magma was flowing out from the room I was channeling above. At the place of the prior cave in.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: drkpaladin on October 05, 2010, 02:11:44 am
I facepalmed when I realized I could go into the stocks screen and designate all the kittens for slaughter there.  I was tracking them down through the unit menu and zooming in on announcements and it took for freakin ever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: veok on October 05, 2010, 11:20:23 am
Note to self: You can't use magma to melt things if you turn temperature off.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Johuotar on October 05, 2010, 03:03:59 pm
playing version which has invasions off and then patching to version which fixes invasions is good idea.

However its not good idea if you dont have any military dwarfs trained and equipped before applying the version.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on October 05, 2010, 03:06:22 pm
I played for around three hours straight, and then- I swear this is true- the second I went to save the game, my computer crashed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: digitCruncher on October 05, 2010, 04:20:31 pm
This crash is why I now have seasonal autosaves. With seasonal backups too. But I feel your pain >.<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Julius Clonkus on October 05, 2010, 04:25:54 pm
While we're talking about save failures...

I recently played a fortress and for the first time managed to dispatch the first ambush without suffering horrible losses. I decided to save so I could be sure that I do not have to replay the situation.

The game crashed when it tried to save.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Duriel on October 05, 2010, 11:17:52 pm
Another one...

A goblin ambush spawned. I thought the entrance traps could handle 'em. Most of them got splattered, but some decided to stay at the entrance.

And I forgot to set the civilian alert level...

A dwarf rushed to the entrance, saw a goblin and ran away. The goblin Axeman marched over the jammed weapon traps chasing the poor dwarf, mauled the guard dogs and got inside the fortress.

Many dwarves and animals suffered... Until the Axeman met a War Tiger.

I thought he would meet the same fate as the others. To my amazement, it turned out neither could hurt each other.

The battle continued, until they were outside. The Tiger chased the goblin to the map edge and the goblin was never seen again.

That War Tiger deserves a reward in my opinion.



Oh, and I also found out that cave spider/leather clothing is surprisingly effective against bronze weapons. ???
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: veok on October 05, 2010, 11:49:14 pm
I'm... just going to leave this picture here...

(http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/6613/bothersme.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on October 06, 2010, 01:38:28 am
Quote from: veok on October 05, 2010, 11:49:14 pm
I'm... just going to leave this picture here...

OK, I'll admit it, I have absolutely no idea what that is.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Raufgar on October 06, 2010, 03:21:08 am
Quote from: geoduck on October 06, 2010, 01:38:28 am
Quote from: veok on October 05, 2010, 11:49:14 pm
I'm... just going to leave this picture here...

OK, I'll admit it, I have absolutely no idea what that is.

Tower-Cap Mushroom (underground equivalent of a tree) in the middle of a whole bunch of un-mined stone. Probably used Reveal to see it like that. Makes you wonder how tenacious those Tower-Caps really are...

My FacePalm (tm) moment:

Spent an hour "Planning for the journey carefully", tailoring for a minimalistic "no tools but the kitchen sink anvil" build and "so many barrels they create a multi-story building" build combined.

Embarked. Strike the Earth!

Started right next to a black bear. Okay Dokay. Didn't want trouble so early in the game, so I had him [TAME] with RuneSmith.

And then....it hits me....forgot to pack a fire-safe stone. <facepalm>

Just as I was contemplating abandoning my little commune (no picks = no digging cavernous rooms), I decided "To Hell With IT!~"

1) Made a training axe and started clear-cutting the whole map. Made them unicorns sad.
2) Built myself a nice 3-story wooden cabin, equipped with dorm, dinning hall, and storage.
3) Made a Trade Depot out of wood
4) Pumped out a murky pond into a reservoir, made a one-holer and designated that as the drinking ole' (no stone/metal = no mechanisms)
5) Grabbed all the shrubs, turned about half into booze.
6) Lasted until the first caravan came (after 2 migrant waves of 3-4 dorfs)

As a famous man once said: Smells like....Dwarf Fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Vetinari on October 06, 2010, 03:26:15 am
It's all my fault, but I spent hours planning and digging a water system that should have pump water from a river and then dump back in it to avoid flood and for scenic reasons. Then winter came and I rememberd that in temperate areas the rivers freeze.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Raufgar on October 06, 2010, 05:13:48 am
Quote from: Lord Vetinari on October 06, 2010, 03:26:15 am
It's all my fault, but I spent hours planning and digging a water system that should have pump water from a river and then dump back in it to avoid flood and for scenic reasons. Then winter came and I rememberd that in temperate areas the rivers freeze.

I wonder what happens if you dump the water 1 z higher onto the top of the (frozen) river... Lucky me my terrifying ocean doesn't freeze...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on October 06, 2010, 06:13:26 am
When I was flooding my fortress with...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

For the 50th time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Vetinari on October 06, 2010, 07:29:04 am
Quote from: Raufgar on October 06, 2010, 05:13:48 am
Quote from: Lord Vetinari on October 06, 2010, 03:26:15 am
It's all my fault, but I spent hours planning and digging a water system that should have pump water from a river and then dump back in it to avoid flood and for scenic reasons. Then winter came and I rememberd that in temperate areas the rivers freeze.

I wonder what happens if you dump the water 1 z higher onto the top of the (frozen) river... Lucky me my terrifying ocean doesn't freeze...

I wondered too, so I made a backup of the save before I changed the project. One of these days I'll finish it and try.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: veok on October 06, 2010, 07:38:03 am
Quote from: geoduck on October 06, 2010, 01:38:28 am
Quote from: veok on October 05, 2010, 11:49:14 pm
I'm... just going to leave this picture here...

OK, I'll admit it, I have absolutely no idea what that is.

There's a towercap mushroom growing in the middle of my obsidian casting. The damn thing has lava *on top of it* and its still just chilling, indifferent to my anger.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: celem on October 06, 2010, 09:14:30 am
Missing the Burn Wood job assignment and setting every single bloody dwarf to be a furnace operator in a blind rage to try and start my metal chain.

Doing so one dwarf at a time because im a noob and havent fully explored the menus. (Hence not finding the assignment in the first place)

Giving up with tears of rage and resolving to wait for the first damn caravan.

Caravan bringing no coke/charcoal.

Waiting this situation out for 4 years because as a rule i dont seek outside help, unfavorable caravans wouldnt provide the single unit needed to convert the mountain of bitumous coal and get rolling.

Fretting like a lunatic that impending stabbity death was lurking over the horizon and my army is outfitted with wood and whatever iron junk traders happened to have. (Didnt find the whole trading emissary thing, just wondered what the message about stroppy diplomats was...next time maybe i can request)

Likewise failing to master the military/training system thingy (inspired that i get it now?  im not) so my army didnt train.

Realise when i finally turn to the forums that im in .14 and that impending doom will never come.

No Fun :( (see...poked around the resources now didnt I)

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmperorNuthulu on October 06, 2010, 11:41:15 am
Going into the caverns and thinking cave crocodiles wouldn't hurt me. Yeah.....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: petebull on October 06, 2010, 01:27:44 pm
after losing a legendary miner to digging the hot wall for the magma forges with orthogonal digging two forts ago I had no casualty in the next try and diagonal digging, the fireman did not come up and out but scared me. This time I tried the fortifcation method, with a almost legendary engraver... when will I learn to use a peasant for dangerous work?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on October 06, 2010, 01:38:34 pm
Quote from: petebull on October 06, 2010, 01:27:44 pm
after losing a legendary miner to digging the hot wall for the magma forges with orthogonal digging two forts ago I had no casualty in the next try and diagonal digging, the fireman did not come up and out but scared me. This time I tried the fortifcation method, with a almost legendary engraver... when will I learn to use a peasant for dangerous work?

Probably now.  Yes, I use peasants for dangerous work too...

"UristMcHauler, come dig this out for me would ya..."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haspen on October 06, 2010, 02:27:09 pm
Quote from: celem on October 06, 2010, 09:14:30 am
Missing the Burn Wood job assignment and setting every single bloody dwarf to be a furnace operator in a blind rage to try and start my metal chain.

It's under Farming.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deus Machina on October 06, 2010, 02:49:11 pm
Not knowing you can't sell untamed creatures.

Legendary goblin axeman that I managed to trap in the front-door cage traps, tried moving him, he would escape by the trade depot, panic, give a few elves and nearby dwarves black eyes and bloody noses, sprint for the exit, get caught in the cage. Several times.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: schussel on October 06, 2010, 07:00:54 pm
having rigged the entrance tunnel with a line of spikes  that are linked with a lever .. so orcs and or goblins and eventuell elf-traders get pierced alot

having a siege + ambush + elf trader (they really like it to be ambushed) .. managed to let go the elves so they met the orcs within the spike area .. eradicated the most ..

soo ok lets go  m -a inactive for civilians ..  .. d-b-c all on the entrance .. going to pee

coming back about 3 min later seeing the entrance even more reddish and log showing many purple messages of impaled dwarfs ^^

and down there the militia commander on break happily pulling the trigger lever ... *facepalm*

to the 5 dead of the former ambush that were caught outside 4 more on the spikes and 4 others with major wounds in the hospital ^^
at least the doc dwarf is not bugging out and working his ass off (btw a 0 diagnostician .. he never diagnosts them just sutures and sets bones like a madman)

PS: the "happy triggerhappy" militia commander just lost it when he hauled the dead dwarfes to the graveyard ^^ happens 3 of the 4 victims were his wife and 2 good friends^^  tantrum + mass brawl in the well zone resulting with meleeattacks on certain llama and chained bears there ^^ 

he's in the hospital now too being worked at by Urist MCcrazydoc (grizzly bear did less damage than llama somehow)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Orkel on October 06, 2010, 08:00:10 pm
Quote from: schussel on October 06, 2010, 07:00:54 pm
he's in the hospital now too being worked at by Urist MCcrazydoc (grizzly bear did less damage than llama somehow)

There seems to be an inverse danger system in dwarf fortress, animals that look less harmful do more damage than dangerous looking ones. Seen this on many occasions.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: schussel on October 06, 2010, 08:37:06 pm
Quote from: Orkel on October 06, 2010, 08:00:10 pm
Quote from: schussel on October 06, 2010, 07:00:54 pm
he's in the hospital now too being worked at by Urist MCcrazydoc (grizzly bear did less damage than llama somehow)

There seems to be an inverse danger system in dwarf fortress, animals that look less harmful do more damage than dangerous looking ones. Seen this on many occasions.

quite ..esp. llamas are dangerous ... my first miner was trampled to death by one that passed him while he was sleeping outside  in the early building stages (wonder how they manage to carve a mile deep into sandy environment .. with foodstocks and all being carried after them .. but then after eating walk outside to sleep there)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: magistrate101 on October 06, 2010, 10:47:50 pm
Quote from: Elvang on April 20, 2009, 09:18:02 pm
For awhile I was oblivious to the mass forbid/dump/melt features; I spent more time with the game paused after a siege marking stuff than the siege lasted.

This minus the siege :\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pukako on October 07, 2010, 12:17:07 am
Crundles from the bottom, Giant from outside -

Quick, I'll flick both levers in the dining room that connect to the two bridges outside. That will delay the Giant while I install more traps in the caverns.

Only one bridge moves.  Crundles and Giant all caught in cages, and forming a nice zoo.  Go back and toggle both levers a few times - one controls a bridge;  what does the other do? :o

Message - baby McDwarf has bled to death.  Why is there magma in my living quarters? WTF?

Oh sh*t - the floodgate holding back the magma under my forges.  Magma-proof floodgate, but not mechanism.  Watch the flood fill up the fort slowly, and vow never to leave a dangerous lever unlabelled next to a functional one.... :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on October 07, 2010, 01:16:41 am
Quote from: Pukako on October 07, 2010, 12:17:07 am
Crundles from the bottom, Giant from outside -

Quick, I'll flick both levers in the dining room that connect to the two bridges outside. That will delay the Giant while I install more traps in the caverns.

Only one bridge moves.  Crundles and Giant all caught in cages, and forming a nice zoo.  Go back and toggle both levers a few times - one controls a bridge;  what does the other do? :o

Message - baby McDwarf has bled to death.  Why is there magma in my living quarters? WTF?

Oh sh*t - the floodgate holding back the magma under my forges.  Magma-proof floodgate, but not mechanism.  Watch the flood fill up the fort slowly, and vow never to leave a dangerous lever unlabelled next to a functional one.... :-[

Dwarven regulatory code 15 A paragraph 20: 
All self-destruct levers shal be labeled as such, separated by a large distance of at least one hundred feet from any non self-destruct levers, under penalty of death by magma.  In addition, all non self-destruct levers should also be clearly labeled, under penalty of the Hammerer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: schussel on October 07, 2010, 11:00:45 am
Quote from: Pukako on October 07, 2010, 12:17:07 am


Oh sh*t - the floodgate holding back the magma under my forges.  Magma-proof floodgate, but not mechanism.  Watch the flood fill up the fort slowly, and vow never to leave a dangerous lever unlabelled next to a functional one.... :-[

mh why do i find that my forges never overflow ...

i normally tap volcanos far below the magma surface with just fortifications and a grate in the magma moat .. it never overflows even if i dont shut it when filled^^

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DukeOfVandals on October 07, 2010, 01:25:07 pm
Ugh.

These... stupid dorfs...

I have spent the last year finishing my 15x15 danger room.

And a tantruming dwarf just knocked over the lever that all the spears were connected to. Mechanisms everywhere.

As soon as I think of a suitable punishment for this idiot he will die.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: petebull on October 07, 2010, 01:30:51 pm
Quote from: schussel on October 06, 2010, 08:37:06 pm
quite ..esp. llamas are dangerous ... my first miner was trampled to death by one that passed him while he was sleeping outside  in the early building stages (wonder how they manage to carve a mile deep into sandy environment .. with foodstocks and all being carried after them .. but then after eating walk outside to sleep there)

You did remember to put a meeting zone with "i" indoors even when no meeting hall is there, right? The embark caravan spot is a intermediate meeting otherwise...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Duriel on October 07, 2010, 01:32:56 pm
Why do I keep forgetting to watch what the masons are doing?

Someone tried to build a wall that was supported by nothing but a drawbridge - and those don't support constructions anyway.

The resulting cave-in killed a mason, wiped out a food stockpile and caused some general chaos.

Damn.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rogueleader25 on October 07, 2010, 05:07:05 pm
I locked my military dwarves into my main barracks when a dragon showed up so that it would first walk into my flood chamber. 

Instead, one of my swordsdwarfs in full steel (and attached to a copper short sword) ran out and hacked the dragon to pieces.

I then paused the game to go afk (or so I thought), only to come back with 4/5ths of my military having starved to death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: newguy12354 on October 07, 2010, 07:52:03 pm
Step 1: I made a world in .14
Step 2: I played a good 4 years on it with lots of created wealth and stuff, but no military since there was no siege or ambush. I had created far over 100 000 wealth amongst other things.
Step 3: I updated to .16
Step 4: I'll let you guess.
Step 5:I made a new fortress in .16........
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 07, 2010, 10:08:29 pm
Invasions back on?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: newguy12354 on October 07, 2010, 10:24:30 pm
Of course and 30 or so gobs decided my fortress was ready for a little beating.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Terrahex on October 08, 2010, 12:16:00 am
I tunnelled down and found a cave with a volcano half-way to the surface. wanting to put a whole bunch of magma forges and such on its banks, I decided, "I'll just flood the cave with water and the top will turn to obsidian and I can have all the roo I could ever want. well I tunneled to a river and luckily had the forethought to put of floodgates. then I dug a deep channel spanning multiple floors so that it would fall right into the center of the magma. it was a mistake obviously because every couple seconds for the next two hours the game would pause and "A section of cavern has callapsed!" would appear.

Oh, and not to mention this time that I got too many nobles in the newer version. i was a noob and I was getting tired of them so I took this recently trapped black bear and put it in his room, hooked it up to a lever and waited. when he went to sleep, I locked him in and pulled the lever. watching the bear maul the mayor was fun. it wasn't so fun when I realised I forgot to lock the door for pets too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadowzfire on October 08, 2010, 07:45:01 am
I made the biggest mistake ever.

Basically here's what happened:
I was building a moat, a 3 z-level down moat, good idea yeah... but i forgot to mention the fact that my expedition leader was conducting a meeting at the bottom of it with a diplomat when i decided to flood it from the brook, of course i only realized a few seconds later this mighty problem.I watched helplessly as he ran from the tower of 3 z-level 7/7 water. He broke several ribs, lost an arm, a leg and broke the other leg, yet... he was still running with his broken leg attached... from the tsunami. Since he was a legendary miner i figured, well... if you can dwarfy dig this route out... of course, it didnt happen.
 He happened upon a corner in the moat. He was a cornered rat, this Degel Endokmognang. When it crashed down on him, he struggled for 2minutes and then died. Apparently the other diplomats left unhappy.

What a fail moment in my history. I killed my expedition leader and my only legendary miner (this is at population of 20ish). Oh and by the way, I'm proud of this mistake, I just made enemies with elves, and thats always good.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dariush on October 08, 2010, 07:46:55 am
Quote from: Terrahex on October 08, 2010, 12:16:00 am
it was a mistake obviously because every couple seconds for the next two hours the game would pause and "A section of cavern has callapsed!" would appear.
I did this once on purpose seeing to see whether natural obsidian will pile up on semi-molten rock, and to prevent the pauses I changed the line
Code: [Select]
[CAVE_COLLAPSE:A_D:D_D:P:R]to
Code: [Select]
[CAVE_COLLAPSE:A_D:D_D:R]It worked.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: deoxys413 on October 08, 2010, 08:23:17 am
Modded my dwarves to [SPEED:0] to hasten construction. In the middle of this building a siege happens and for the most part the marauding band of cross-gobbos kept to themselves. THen as they kill a human resident of the map they get the Bohrok-like urge to CLEAN (points for getting reference in full) and proceed up the stairs at warp factor 9 to clean the mess the gobbos made while they are still there! They'd zoom past the gobbos and stop in the middle of them to clean and run away again because of the danger. Before I had things under control again 7 had deid including a mason and a legendary trader, but the mayor who also did this got of scott free. This is the same one that ended his mandate for pig iron so a metalcrafter lost his head over that as well.

*double facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PringleMan5 on October 08, 2010, 02:00:37 pm
I have a couple from the original handful of forts I made.

My favorite facepalm is actually on behalf of the dwarf that was victimized. I reclaimed a fort that I had been spending a LOT of time working on. Basically I wanted to make a nice fort with a pretty front for a change, and I had finally gotten a map that was all flat except for the lower left hand corner which dropped 5 Z-levels, but also had a river on the top level so it was going to be EASY to set up great defenses and an almost natural cistern.

Anyways I had finally finished the landscaping after sacrificing dozens of dwarf settlers to the cave in gods. I abandoned and reclaimed with a proper team of settlers (instead of what amounted to all miners for the landscaping) and got ready to settle down and make my fort. One of the annoying things that I have noticed about reclaims is that even if you seal all of the goods from a previous embark into a room deep under ground, it still ends of scattered everywhere. So I took the time before unpausing to claim everything and lay down am everything pile to have the settlers collect all of the goods (it amounted to clothes for 10 dwarfs, almost 90 units of booze and food, tools, another anvil, and a ton of un-used barrels) and then unpaused. My primary miner dwarf took four steps to pick up a seed, tripped on a rock, and shattered his left leg.

This was annoying to say the least, but I did have a doctor dwarf in my team and some cloth so I figured at the very least he can go and clean the wound, bandage him up, and give him water and food to keep him from death until later. Not a single dwarf helped him. Not one. He was sitting next to the wagon, bleeding, dehydrated and hungry with an infection and not a single swarf helped him. I figured that they had gotten overloaded with haul orders or maybe I did not have a bucket. So I verified that I did indeed have an empty bucket and I removed all jobs except for health care from my doctor dwarf. Nothing. So the miner died of dehydration from a broken leg right next to my embark point.

He must have been a real dick though cause none of the dwarfs in the party were even upset that he had died.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on October 08, 2010, 03:10:10 pm
Quote from: PringleMan5 on October 08, 2010, 02:00:37 pm
This was annoying to say the least, but I did have a doctor dwarf in my team and some cloth so I figured at the very least he can go and clean the wound, bandage him up, and give him water and food to keep him from death until later. Not a single dwarf helped him. Not one. He was sitting next to the wagon, bleeding, dehydrated and hungry with an infection and not a single swarf helped him. I figured that they had gotten overloaded with haul orders or maybe I did not have a bucket. So I verified that I did indeed have an empty bucket and I removed all jobs except for health care from my doctor dwarf. Nothing. So the miner died of dehydration from a broken leg right next to my embark point.

Did you set up an official hospital zone, with a bed? The doctor can't do anything without one..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PringleMan5 on October 08, 2010, 03:48:06 pm
I did, though only shortly before he died. He actually fought off the infection (only second time I have ever seen that actually happen) so what killed him in the end was the dehydration. All of the dwarves should have been helping with that regardless of location.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: celem on October 08, 2010, 06:44:24 pm
I set up a cage with a tame animal in my meeting hall, then decided to conserve on my dwindling supply of cages (traps running overtime) i'd move all critters to that one cage.

Hadnt realised that moving a non-tame animal's cage off the stockpile made it break lose.....a deer escaped a bust my master farmer's foot right open as well as doing the same to his left hand.

Being year 1 autumn i had no doctor and no hospital, done what i can but with an untrained doc and no soap or casts.......my fingers are crossed but this is a facepalm in the making...i see it coming, i got him all patched up but only noticed now (6 months after his injury) that he's being brought saltwater  :(

On a related note (damn critters) I got a swarm (troop) of reesus macaques come through my area, the buggers appeared to want in and overwhelmed my cage traps killing 2 berry pickers before a woodcutter minced them up.......I watched the poor dwarves lying there ages before realising I had no graveyard, once i designated one I then made the oversight of placing it in my fortress entrance..not all of which was channeled out overhead.  Between the deaths and the later miasma (was away down piercing an acquifer and wasnt watching the surface) I had a tantrum spiral, not awful with my 35 dwarves but unpleasant nonetheless.

I didnt quit that save, tried to extricate myself....and start a desalinization process on my local brook.  My first ever attempt with screw pumps......3 drowned miners due to a gap in the wall and neglecting to build an out-ramp.....another spiral...now 1 mad dwarf remains....lol.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: eggrock on October 08, 2010, 07:49:11 pm
Quote from: PringleMan5 on October 08, 2010, 03:48:06 pm
I did, though only shortly before he died. He actually fought off the infection (only second time I have ever seen that actually happen) so what killed him in the end was the dehydration. All of the dwarves should have been helping with that regardless of location.

Lol, yep, just went through the same with around four gobbos--I had 12-15 designated for sale to the elves but managed to catch the rest in time. Nothing worse than a few short Rest statuses.

Some moments:

Designating ~12k worth of various 60-240 value goods, then realizing I was trading with elves. Instead of ESC/reorder I tried deselecting all the wood out of the ungodly amount of stuff for sale. I missed something. (.12 so no really negative consequences.)

Digging out a pit filled with spike traps linked to a plate that didn't work--I still don't know why. Then dumping those 12-15 gobbos, wounding all moderately and getting "_____ canceled, interrupted by [gobbo]". The d-b-d/d-k commands didn't disarm them, perhaps because the caves were not uilt. (Still a noob)

Stranding legendary miner in a 4x1xMany chain of pending magma pumps. He was very near death at a save point and I spent a couple hours trying to get him and another digger out. The first time he died of dehydration while drinking (or maybe it was hunger.) A different digger died in another part of the chain with a "Hunt for small animal" task that I missed seeing in the u menu--I always look for extended 'No Job' conditions.

Digging *so many* dead-end tunnels to the left or up (north) that needed floodgates installed. :o

I still do not know how to collapse a floor without the channeler following everything to the bottom.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 08, 2010, 09:23:09 pm
Build a support on/under the floor section, link it to a lever, cut connections, drop at leisure.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Raufgar on October 08, 2010, 09:42:21 pm
Quote from: eggrock on October 08, 2010, 07:49:11 pm
I still do not know how to collapse a floor without the channeler following everything to the bottom.

Here's the wiki page about cave-ins (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Cave_in)

I recommend checking out the last section: Caving-in the toplevel/terrain from inside
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pukako on October 09, 2010, 03:27:06 am
Quote from: eggrock on October 08, 2010, 07:49:11 pm
A different digger died in another part of the chain with a "Hunt for small animal" task that I missed seeing in the u menu--I always look for extended 'No Job' conditions.

Only just found a master engraver (trained up from nothing, so I'm a little attached to him) who had somehow managed to get wedged in a 1x5 corridor between a wall and a blocked staircase down in the caverns, with this order.  It should be impossible to get in there, and there are no %$#@ small animals there anyway - the Giant Olms eat them all.  Still don't understand it.

My latest FP moment involves a dwarven merchant, a goblin ambush, and my "Raising Bridge of Death Over the Tranquil Vegetated Pit of Relaxation" (4 z-levels deep, but it has grass, trees and shrubs growing there - usually kobolds and goblins fall in and I enjoy watching them starve over a few months).  Goblins rush towards the gate, and I set the lever to be flicked in the dining room, where for once, there isn't a party.  And then watch the goblins stop just short as the merchant's dwarven axeman guard rushes up, kills two of them, and is then flung into the pit as the bridge goes up.  Managed to kill the remaining two gobbos as they stood on the lip of the pit for me to drop the bridge on them.

Turns out the guard survived the fall, and actually walked out when I noticed a bit later and mined a few entrance.  She then followed my mayor around for a bit, and I thought he's got a bodyguard, but she just had issues finding an exit, and eventually wandered off after the merchant...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: celem on October 09, 2010, 03:35:32 pm
Just had a strange mood, first ever in this nice new fort of mine.  from my best miner (skilled).

Guy claimed the mason's workshop and turned out a very pretty artifact mudstone floodgate...

Under posession too......dwarfapaulted him off my bridge into the caverns...useless bugger.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xerillum on October 09, 2010, 05:05:38 pm
I put my "magmafy the depot" lever next to my "seal off the panic room and flood the rest of the fortress with magma" lever, and didn't label either of them. End result: the elves died anyways, but so did most of the people I wanted in the panic room. Now I have a farmer, 2 axedwarves, a miner, and a few haulers. My legendary surgeon, cook, brewer, engraver/mason, general doctor, and my marksdwarf squad died, along with all 50 or 60 other dwarves. But the survivors are still happy, because they slept in a legendary bedroom last night, and ate their plump helmet roasts in a legendary dining room. And they saw this really neat waterfall, which totally offset the deaths of everybody they knew.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GenexController on October 09, 2010, 06:16:38 pm
When i hit play right away without making preperations and I got 3 crafters a cook a sirgon a mason and a wood cutter. Then i reset all thier jobs to be more useful, used two of my crafters (now miners) to start diging out a small part of the mountain to move my dwarves under, it collapsed on all of them....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Horizon9 on October 09, 2010, 07:24:27 pm
My first face palm consisted of me leaving my computer to try and play the even harder game Real Life, only to finish and come back to discover I forgot to pause Dwarf Fortress. In the time it took me to get back to my computer, we ran out of beer and food, and the tantrum spiral was spreading like wildfire.
I facepalmed so hard my hand went through my forehead.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Argembarger on October 09, 2010, 10:06:47 pm
(A month ago)

Psh, manager? Why would I ever want that? Sounds like every other useless Noble. Bookkeeper? Just an asshole wanting free food and lodging.

(A few days ago)

...I WAS SUCH A FOOL

and let the facepalming commence.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on October 10, 2010, 03:27:30 am
Yeah, manager and bookkeeper make running a fort so very much easier.  Also, they never make mandates or demands unless also the mayor.

The only downside is that either one is pretty much a full time position.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: forumist on October 10, 2010, 05:58:09 am
I'm trying to learn how to deal with cages containing untamed animals.

What I did until now:

I designate a pit near my barracks, then assign one of the caged animals to the pit, and I watch for jobs cancelling due to the animal escaping, then I try to locate the animal in the crowd and send the militia after it.
This solution is clearly not satisfying, better not miss the job concellation announcement, and it can be dangerous. I had one of my animal handler's brain destroyed by a warthog, once.

What I'm trying to do now:

I build a room, locked with a bridge commanded by a lever next to the entrance.
I build some cages inside the room, link them with the lever.
Activating the lever should close the room and deconstruct the cages, then, I will station some miltary next to the entrance and pull the lever again to open the room and order the militery to kill the "escaped" animals.
What happens now:
1) Urist MacJobless arrives and pulls the lever.
2) The bonobo cages are deconstructed.
3) Urist MacJobless spots a deconstructed cage and enters the room to bring the cage back to the stockpile.
4) Oups, the poor dwarf will be trapped with the bonobos: quickly forbid the content of the room.
5) Urist MacJobless turns back.
6) The bridge raises just when Urist is on it and crushes him.
7) Facepalm.

Why is there such a delay between the moment the cages are deconstructed and the moment the bridge raises ?

And having to build those cages, link them and then pull levers is a bit annoying. Is there a better way to deal with caged untamed animals (I want to use them to train my soldiers, so atomsmashing is not interesting.)

By the way, Bonobos can be dangerous: one of them bit a hunting dog, shook him, and the lower body was separated from the upper body.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on October 10, 2010, 08:43:51 am
Managed to flood out yet another starting outpost with a badly designed plumbing system.  This time I didn't give the water enough space at the bottom of the waterfall to spread out before entering the drainage.

The result was fortunately not complete flooding, because the drainage was larger than the inflow as is proper, but every level of the fortress with a waterfall viewport being flooded about kneedeep with water as the waterfall can't flow into the drainage quite as fast as it falls.


A couple months away and I already became Competent Fortress Planner (Rusty).

P.S.  As a result the group name for my next attempt is "The Smear of Failure"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GenexController on October 10, 2010, 04:23:13 pm
It has come the forgoten beast Akon Ongnoomag Xasnoszongosp a vicous forgotten creature made of steam, it rushes through the caverns depratley trying to find an entrance to the home of the unknowing dwarves above it's head. Out of frustration for not finding an entrance imediatly it goes into a rage and attacks the indigenous creatures of the caverns, namely a band of Old men and women, in seconds a volley of blowdarts from the indegiouness fly at the moster who growls menicingly, the darts innialate the monster upper body and the threat is no more. Yeah that really just happened lees than a minute ago....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GaxkangtheUnbound on October 10, 2010, 04:27:51 pm
Quote from: GenexController on October 10, 2010, 04:23:13 pm
It has come: the forgoten beast Akon Ongnoomag Xasnoszongosp, a vicious forgotten creature made of steam, it rushes through the caverns deparately, trying to find an entrance to the home of the unknowing dwarves above its head. Out of frustration for not finding an entrance immediately, it goes into a rage and attacks the indigenous creatures of the caverns, namely a band of Ol(m?) men and women, in seconds a volley of blowdarts from the indigenous creatures fly at the monster who growls menacingly, the darts annihilate the monster's upper body and the threat is no more. Yeah, that really just happened less than a minute ago....
It seems that your steam monster. . .
. . .let off all his steam.
 8)
EDIT:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on October 10, 2010, 04:58:50 pm
Quote from: GaxkangtheUnbound on October 10, 2010, 04:27:51 pm
Quote from: GenexController on October 10, 2010, 04:23:13 pm
It has come: the forgoten beast Akon Ongnoomag Xasnoszongosp, a vicious forgotten creature made of steam, it rushes through the caverns deparately, trying to find an entrance to the home of the unknowing dwarves above its head. Out of frustration for not finding an entrance immediately, it goes into a rage and attacks the indigenous creatures of the caverns, namely a band of Ol(m?) men and women, in seconds a volley of blowdarts from the indigenous creatures fly at the monster who growls menacingly, the darts annihilate the monster's upper body and the threat is no more. Yeah, that really just happened less than a minute ago....
It seems that your steam monster let off all his steam.
 8)
He was a load of hot air.  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: forumist on October 10, 2010, 05:02:48 pm
Quote from: forumist on October 10, 2010, 05:58:09 am
I'm trying to learn how to deal with cages containing untamed animals.
[->bridge accident for Urist MacJobless]
And having to build those cages, link them and then pull levers is a bit annoying. Is there a better way to deal with caged untamed animals (I want to use them to train my soldiers, so atomsmashing is not interesting.)

I've improved the system by adding a corridor and a door to avoid next lever puller going into the killing room, and installed 4 warthog cages. Then I stationed 3 soldiers in the cage room.
As the lever puller was late, one of the soldiers (who was a militia captain) fell asleep.
When the lever was pulled, a warthog started kicking the sleeping militia captain, and apparently, this did not wake him ! And after a while, he got his brained jammed. <Facepalm>

I play version .31.14, so there are no goblins attacks; but obviously, I don't need them to have FUN...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tel_Janin on October 10, 2010, 08:54:50 pm
"Let's build a waterfall!"
"Great idea, let's make sure to have adequate drainage, though!"
"Good idea, let's do that. Now we have a waterfall system, let us hook up the pumps to the waterwheels!"

Urist McWeaver has drowned.
Urist McDyer has drowned.
Urist McPeasant has drowned.
A stray puppy has drowned. (x20)
Cog McMechanic has drowned.

"..."
"..."
"That's a pretty powerful waterfall, maybe we should cover more of the drainage sluice."

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on October 10, 2010, 08:59:09 pm
Quote from: Tel_Janin on October 10, 2010, 08:54:50 pm
"Let's build a waterfall!"
"Great idea, let's make sure to have adequate drainage, though!"
"Good idea, let's do that. Now we have a waterfall system, let us hook up the pumps to the waterwheels!"

Urist McWeaver has drowned.
Urist McDyer has drowned.
Urist McPeasant has drowned.
A stray puppy has drowned. (x20)
Cog McMechanic has drowned.

Only 4 Dwarves died? Well, and 20 puppies, but this is DWARF FORTRESS! Not PUPPY FORTRESS!...
...
...
That's a great idea!

*Off to make a game called Puppy Fortress*

"..."
"..."
"That's a pretty powerful waterfall, maybe we should cover more of the drainage sluice."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr. Argent on October 10, 2010, 11:54:53 pm
My first taste of fun happened when i had a half-decent fortress running, a Hydra smashed down the fort's back door, started killing my Dwarves and then somehow a Blind Cave Ogre showed up in the fray (Which is odd because i was at ground level). I then realized i was a idiot for not training a army and keeping that exit unguarded.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: YouR_DooM on October 11, 2010, 06:08:34 am
I giant arrived on my map and immediately started chasing one of my legendary guys ( first facepalm ). Apparently they had both the same speed, because they did at least around 7 full laps of the entire map going always the same path. Every lap I was yelling at the screen because the giant kept missing around 30 cage traps ( apparently he was vulnerable to them ) and my dude just wouldn't get inside so I could raise the bridge.

facepalm after facepalm after facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drakeero on October 11, 2010, 01:23:35 pm
In one of my first 5 fortresses I used b -> j to build cage traps and then wondered why they never caught anything.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on October 11, 2010, 08:17:06 pm
Waitaminnit.

Are the [WET] and [DRY] tags necessary for aboveground plants?

Because if so, I just figured out why I haven't been able to find sliver barbs and sun berries ANY FREAKING WHERE despite the presence of feather trees/glumprong.  >:|
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eric Blank on October 11, 2010, 08:41:31 pm
Got a possessed jeweler so i was going to force him to use our more valuable pink garnets (60*), i had to manually forbid all the gems i could find, which left him only a few choices. So he snags the first one i missed, which he was carrying off to be cut as it just so happens, I forbid it and when he gets to the workshop he just drops it and goes off to get something else. I then unforbid it. When he comes back with the next gem (also forbidden for low value) He drops it and immediately begins using the sunstones he brought first because I unforbid them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jackrabbitslim on October 11, 2010, 11:25:08 pm
One of my military dwarves loved silver. I wonder if he had happy thoughts as he was stabbed to death by goblins with silver pikes?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on October 11, 2010, 11:27:56 pm
Quote from: jackrabbitslim on October 11, 2010, 11:25:08 pm
One of my military dwarves loved silver. I wonder if he had happy thoughts as he was stabbed to death by goblins with silver pikes?

Urist McDead is ecstatic. He took serious injury recently. He enjoyed a Silver Pike recently. He dined in a legendary dining room recently.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AngleWyrm on October 12, 2010, 10:50:59 am
Oh hell, I just murdered my military. I built a danger room, but I screwed it up by installing a wooden spear in the mix -- musta bought it off those damn elves. It became a suicide chamber, and by the time I noticed a blood trail to the hospital, most of the squad was already dead in a pile in the danger room.

As a result of this fiasco, healthy dwarves formed a lemming procession into the danger room to pick up +pigtail sock+, where they each received a (sometimes fatal) wound and went to lay down in the hospital. Soon afterwards the remaining three healthy dwarves, who were in the army and thus training at the time, fought off a goblin ambush and then joined their comrades in the hospital. 25 dwarves hospitalized, and no one to get them drinks.

First time ever I saw "Your civilization has crumbled to its end"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LoSboccacc on October 12, 2010, 11:44:01 am
learned that 'magma doesn't have pressure' doesn't mean that magma 'won't flow over itself' and that one cannot consider itself safe with just a channel.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on October 12, 2010, 01:04:23 pm
Quote from: LoSboccacc on October 12, 2010, 11:44:01 am
learned that 'magma doesn't have pressure' doesn't mean that magma 'won't flow over itself' and that one cannot consider itself safe with just a channel.

Whoops.  Well, you learned now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Demilich on October 12, 2010, 10:38:01 pm
My current fortress has been a nightmare, and it's all my fault. Incompetence abounds. My broker decided to lounge around until the dwarven caravan left with the anvil I desperately needed (Kept Conducting Meeting with the outpost liasion) so I had nothing but training weapons for my military. I decided to make a moat surrounding my entrance and depot. After filling it I channeled a side entrance without paying attention to what was underneath. Eventually I realized the mistake - I had channeled straight through the barracks at my entrance, and water began flooding in. While making the necessary preparations to block the flow, I received the message: "Militia captain cancels drink - Interrupted by grizzly bear". It climbed in through the hole and began gutting its way through my entire military, their wooden weapons unable to do anything but bruise it. It kept retreating, and I would cancel the kill order in the hopes that it would call it a day and leave, but each time it would turn back for more delicious dwarf flesh. Figuring that since the bear's pretty beat up already it shouldn't last much longer, I drafted everyone in the area, mobbing her. Dying dwarves lay helpless, legless, armless. One miner managed to injure the monster's heart and liver before falling. It did not appear to notice. Finally, one of the carpenters brought to the battle the fortress' most powerful weapon - a bronze axe. She smashed it in the face hard enough to send it flying, spilling teeth, before bisecting it without receiving any damage in return. At this point I abandoned the fortress in total shame. Half the population dead or crippled, the rest miserable.

An unfortunate convergence of circumstances.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gnauga on October 12, 2010, 10:47:07 pm
If you needed it desperately, you should've allowed anyone to trade.
The whole flooding and grizzly bear thing was just unfortunate, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on October 13, 2010, 02:11:24 am
I just had a forgotten beast show up and ambush one of my miners.  The beast walked up to the miner, brused his upper right arm, and just stood there.   The miner turned around and drove his pick into the beast's brain.

And then continued mining again.  I thought the canceled designation was from the FB.  Turns out there was actually magma on the other side of that wall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DPunch4 on October 13, 2010, 03:25:03 am
Urist McCarpender decides to go moody and make an artifact bed.. that depicts the very same artifact bed.. "Image of the blowing lock, the alder bed, in alder"

Next I'll be getting an axe with an axe engraved in it... ???
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DPunch4 on October 13, 2010, 04:41:33 am
novice blacksmith started on a mysterious construction, i was hoping to get a cool weapon and legend weaponsmith. I got a bloody floodgate with depictions of waves on it....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on October 13, 2010, 05:10:05 am
Quote from: DPunch4 on October 13, 2010, 04:41:33 am
novice blacksmith started on a mysterious construction, i was hoping to get a cool weapon and legend weaponsmith. I got a bloody floodgate with depictions of waves on it....

At least it's strangely appropriate.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NightmareBros on October 13, 2010, 12:23:31 pm
Meanwhile, In Tombsilent, I proceeded to royaly screw up Project: Artifact Pond by somehow not having all 10 of the floodgates needed to maintain it linked up to a lever. Which was somehow able to be flooded by the inevitable explosion of released water, even though I thought it was thourghly sealed off.
Even now, whole cascadses of 7-deep water tiles are going of the edge of the map and flooding the poor saps who live in the nearby valley - I.e, The Mountainholmes and a goblin tower are experiancing a flash-flood from the mountain, so migrants and caravans come later than they should and I get seiged like I accidently flooded their entire base and killed their leader or something. And I may also have accidentaly drowned all the Elves because they suddenly stopped coming to trade, so at least there's a silver lining.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Megaman3321 on October 13, 2010, 12:50:46 pm
Oh, I started a fortress in a biome with the "untamed wilds" tag. Made a militia to kill any animals that annoy my group.

I screwed up. I left the squad active, and they proceeded to attack every single rhesus macaque in sight. One of the monkeys jumped into a pond from 3 z-levels above my base. My expedition leader/militia commander went in after him. *facepalm*.By the time I got a rescue squad together to save the leader, he died.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ElthMysterius on October 13, 2010, 05:38:30 pm
Well... I guess this fort was just destined to fail no matter what.

Started a fort in a flat, calm, cold woodland area bordering a mountain containing a brook. Seemed absolutely perfect minus the freezing in winter, which was the first source of facepalms when injured dwarves started dying. Double facepalm when I ran out of booze.

Next facepalm came when I found out that if water is listed as 'above ground' even though it's in a sealed building, it will still freeze.

After successfully rerouting the river underground and setting up a proper underground well, without having to go into the caverns, I thought I was all set. I got a breeding pair of lions, gorillas and jaguars, plus some crocs, all stolen from the elves. I also had a military of 30 strong, poorly equipped but hoping sheer numbers would help until I got my metal industry working.

Sadly, the forces that be just didn't want this force to thrive. In year 4, I went from 80 dwarves to 60 when 4 goblin ambushes appeared inside my fort in less than a season. Facepalm. My grief-stricken military are all on the edge of tantrumming, and one even actually bashed my broker in the face with his shield, killing him. Face. Palm.

Then I get a siege. One squad of goblins. I take care of them rather easily. Shortly after, they send 2 squads, plus a squad of ogres. We barely fight them off with the help of the human caravan. I start building a wall around my entrance.

Then, in year 5, another siege. I didn't get to count exactly how many squads they had, but the list of invaders filled 4 pages. They proceeded to slaughter every single one of my dwarves. My head hit the desk, and now I'm debating whether to reclaim or embark somewhere far, far away from the goblins.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lojban on October 13, 2010, 05:50:36 pm
so... i dug out an area for a water resivioire and told my dwarf to build a wall there.
it worked, and i thought no more of safety.
about 2 in-game-years later, i built a staircase 1 level below it, and since i am used to using up-downs literally everywhere,
and had forgotten how i had gotten the wall builder out, my whole base flooded since the resivoire was hooked up
to the aquifer. my dwarves couldn't stop it in tima and i had to annex 4 z-levels of my base, with only 1 dwarf casualty.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: !!crundle!! on October 14, 2010, 12:14:56 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Fucking frozen forgotten beast extract.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on October 14, 2010, 01:26:00 am
Quote from: !!crundle!! on October 14, 2010, 12:14:56 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Fucking frozen forgotten beast extract.

I don't think that dwarf is going to live too much longer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Argembarger on October 14, 2010, 10:28:22 am
No! Is she still alive!? Try to keep her alive! Science! I need to see what kind of crazy awesome diagnosis Urist McChiefMedicalDwarf gives her!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mr_seeker on October 14, 2010, 11:41:58 am
Okay, I had a goblin thief, chased away with my "humble" force (total overkill, but who cares).

As soon as the guys walked back, I noticed one of them was carrying a bed. Dunno if he intended to actually use that as a weapon, but i still cant stop gniffing by the fact that you can actually kill a goblin with a bed...

EDIT: Seems that it is an unmarried woman... My day begins to turn into something even more funnier :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ultimuh on October 14, 2010, 12:06:15 pm
Quote from: mr_seeker on October 14, 2010, 11:41:58 am
Okay, I had a goblin thief, chased away with my "humble" force (total overkill, but who cares).

As soon as the guys walked back, I noticed one of them was carrying a bed. Dunno if he intended to actually use that as a weapon, but i still cant stop gniffing by the fact that you can actually kill a goblin with a bed...

EDIT: Seems that it is an unmarried woman... My day begins to turn into something even more funnier :P

She must be really desperate if you ask me.  ???
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Duriel on October 14, 2010, 01:08:01 pm
So another siege arrived at Crystalroses. I sent the military outside to wait for the goblins. However, I accidentally issued a station order for the marksdwarf squad into a squad of goblins. I noticed this pretty quickly and told them to station at the archery tower.

Then I see a marksdwarf head straight into a squad of goblin pikemen, apparently following the earlier station command, and of course I didn't assign any armor to him. I sent the other military after him in an effort to save him. But I was too late. :( Luckily the other dwarf was asleep when this happened.

Note to Self: Remember that the squads menu swaps letters for the military squads when scrolling down.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DPunch4 on October 15, 2010, 02:25:28 am
I wont use the real name but-

Urist McSuperCreative crafted a badass pig iron hammer- "On the item is an image of Badass Hammer the pig iron war hammer in pig iron.

 
Quote from: DPunch4 on October 13, 2010, 03:25:03 am
Urist McCarpender decides to go moody and make an artifact bed.. that depicts the very same artifact bed.. "Image of the blowing lock, the alder bed, in alder"

Next I'll be getting an axe with an axe engraved in it... ???
I was almost right...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on October 15, 2010, 02:46:48 am
so... I have a neat little fort started on a peninsula on a lake, and I have a little castle above ground and a gap int eh aquifer I managed to hit going down to solid rock.

I make a moat around the castle, and remove all the ramps (and I made the moat go wide around the farms one layer down, face palm averted!)

face palm 1: I left a ramp so the miners could get out of the moat- but I didn't leave a way to get back in to the fortress... my miners hang out down there for a month or two before I figure out why and construct some floors bridging the moat.

face palm 2: I'd built the floors to get my miners back inside and keep them from dehydrating, and I rebuilt them off to the side of my entrance, then built the bridge next to it, then finally deconstructed the floor tiles... all at once.  atleast one tile ends up supported only by the bridge, caving in and taking one of my miners (and starting seven) into the moat where he breaks a leg and botha rms and damages his liver.

face palm 3: I hastily construct a hospital for my miner, and enable the various healing labors on what migrants happen to have come with them (no diagnostician, a random dorf gets picked as chief medical dorf and diagnostics enabled) but I had no dorf with skill in suturing, so I didn't enable it on anyone... apparently, dressing and bone setting have to wait until suturing is done.  I finally figure out why no one is caring for my miner after he is pale with infection (the stray kitten that fell with him succumbed to infection not to long before) and my miner succumbs to infection himself as the newly appointed suturer is just beginning his work.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mr_seeker on October 15, 2010, 06:19:35 am
2 classic examples of how NOT to do it:

1. When you assume that a place is safe, dont think that the caves below are safe too. I did everything to protect the entrance, but in the end got 5 wounded dwarves due to the fact that some blind cave ogres got in my food supply.

2. Dont rely that the game will bring you an Architect. I didnt get anyone for over a year, and due to this, my fortress stopped attracting any migrants. I got lots of metalsmiths (which I dont use) and eventually I abandoned the fortress because even though I could sustain it myself, I couldnt get any replacements when my miners got killed (unfortunate cave-in).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mr_seeker on October 15, 2010, 06:47:28 am
In reply to my last message: Just found out that you can assign dwarves to make a TD, without someone who knows Architecture. Wasted 6 hours waiting *facepalm*.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MagmaMcFry on October 15, 2010, 08:45:50 am
Dumped/atomsmashed 35321 stones, realized too late that I  could have done the same with a single cave-in.
Current Jobs:
Facedesk   A R
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zrk2 on October 15, 2010, 02:06:15 pm
Discovering the mass construction build button. Try building a replica of Solomons' temple without it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mr_seeker on October 15, 2010, 02:16:51 pm
Quote from: Zrk2 on October 15, 2010, 02:06:15 pm
Discovering the mass construction build button. Try building a replica of Solomons' temple without it.

Does that one actually exist  :o :-X
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkflagrance on October 15, 2010, 03:37:22 pm
Quote from: mr_seeker on October 15, 2010, 02:16:51 pm
Quote from: Zrk2 on October 15, 2010, 02:06:15 pm
Discovering the mass construction build button. Try building a replica of Solomons' temple without it.

Does that one actually exist  :o :-X

This one might be close...http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=62507.msg1433291#msg1433291 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=62507.msg1433291#msg1433291)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zrk2 on October 15, 2010, 03:59:42 pm
Take those pictures and divide the epicosity by about 10 and that's what I did. A chalk contraption about 7 z levels high with wooden panelling on the inside. Still took me a while and now my dwarves run through open grass to have breaks. Fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Megaman3321 on October 15, 2010, 07:07:40 pm
I dug a hole into a murky pool, forgetting to make some mechanisms and pressure plates to halt the expansion of the water so that it would stop on my farm plot. *facepalm*.

Then I let my chief medical dwarf's skills get rusty by not building a danger room. *facepalm*. I didn't build a danger room ASAP. *facepalm*. I made wooden training axes and wooden spikes instead of training spears. *facepalm*.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gutanoth on October 15, 2010, 07:09:20 pm
What does allowing a dwarfs skills to go rusty mean?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on October 15, 2010, 07:38:50 pm
Quote from: Gutanoth on October 15, 2010, 07:09:20 pm
What does allowing a dwarfs skills to go rusty mean?

eventually, rusty skills will atrophy away.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on October 15, 2010, 07:40:20 pm
Dwarves have to use their skills to maintain proficiency.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AngleWyrm on October 15, 2010, 11:28:01 pm
So I'm channeling out a path for the river to fill my indoor fishing pond. But when the dwarves start work, why are the tiles dots instead of upside down triangles?

Oh no, I've channeled the roof off of my downstairs rooms. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on October 15, 2010, 11:42:08 pm
I accidentally marked a bull and a cow for adoption instead of slaughtering and I didn't notice until after they were adopted.

Eh, at least I won't have to worry about food supplies now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jackrabbitslim on October 16, 2010, 01:04:25 am
One of my dwarves is in the hospital after a battle. her hands and legs are all smashed up. But you wanna know the worst part? Her LIVER is BROKEN!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Benata on October 16, 2010, 01:04:16 pm
Quote from: DPunch4 on October 15, 2010, 02:25:28 am
I wont use the real name but-

Urist McSuperCreative crafted a badass pig iron hammer- "On the item is an image of Badass Hammer the pig iron war hammer in pig iron.

 
Quote from: DPunch4 on October 13, 2010, 03:25:03 am
Urist McCarpender decides to go moody and make an artifact bed.. that depicts the very same artifact bed.. "Image of the blowing lock, the alder bed, in alder"

Next I'll be getting an axe with an axe engraved in it... ???
I was almost right...

(http://images2.memegenerator.net/yo-dawg/ImageMacro/3129072/Yo-Dawg-I-heard-you-like-legendary-so-we-put-the-same-legendary-item-in-your-legendary-item.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GaxkangtheUnbound on October 16, 2010, 01:06:57 pm
Quote from: Benata on October 16, 2010, 01:04:16 pm
Quote from: DPunch4 on October 15, 2010, 02:25:28 am
I wont use the real name but-

Urist McSuperCreative crafted a badass pig iron hammer- "On the item is an image of Badass Hammer the pig iron war hammer in pig iron.

 
Quote from: DPunch4 on October 13, 2010, 03:25:03 am
Urist McCarpender decides to go moody and make an artifact bed.. that depicts the very same artifact bed.. "Image of the blowing lock, the alder bed, in alder"

Next I'll be getting an axe with an axe engraved in it... ???
I was almost right...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
You're doing it wrong.
It should be:
YO DAWG, I HEARD YOU LIKE ARTIFACTS SO WE PUT A RECURSIVE IMAGE ON YOUR ARTIFACT SO YOU CAN SEE THE ARTIFACT WHILE YOU SEE THE ARTIFACT[. . .]
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McTaverish on October 16, 2010, 04:47:32 pm
Quote from: jackrabbitslim on October 16, 2010, 01:04:25 am
One of my dwarves is in the hospital after a battle. her hands and legs are all smashed up. But you wanna know the worst part? Her LIVER is BROKEN!

 :o Does that mean she can't drink now?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mr_seeker on October 16, 2010, 06:38:11 pm
I have got a pretty descent area, but forgot one of my rules for Dwarf Fortress:

Rule 14: Caves are bad, even if the area is considered "Calm"

In my first year, I got around 14 troglodytes coming from a cave I just dug. Result: captured 4, injured & killed 10, 2 dead dogs, 2 enraged mules, 8 killed dwarves, and was left with 7 dwarves to start my fortress. This was after 6 months of playing!

EDIT: After 150 pages of fighting I decided to end it, took all whats left and did a big attack on the troglodyte: 2 suffocated, 5 dwarves left.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: forumist on October 17, 2010, 11:27:43 am
First goblin ambush. While the poor hunter that detected them is getting slaughtered, someone pulls the lever of my entrance gate bridge, the goblins are on the bridge when it raises... Oh, what happens ? I don't see the bridge. And the fleeing dwarves and their goblin pursuers cross it freely ! Is this a bug ?
It seems that my bridge is a retractable bridge...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mr_seeker on October 17, 2010, 03:36:34 pm
Quote from: forumist on October 17, 2010, 11:27:43 am
First goblin ambush. While the poor hunter that detected them is getting slaughtered, someone pulls the lever of my entrance gate bridge, the goblins are on the bridge when it raises... Oh, what happens ? I don't see the bridge. And the fleeing dwarves and their goblin pursuers cross it freely ! Is this a bug ?
It seems that my bridge is a retractable bridge...

Urist McDwarf just invented the horizontal lift :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sgrunt on October 17, 2010, 03:37:25 pm
So, I built the entrance of my most recent fortress to be lined with a large number of weapons traps, all with a full set of ten serrated discs and a trap door (pressure plate + floor hatch) on either end (i.e. the classic goblin grinder setup). No goblins should be getting in or out through that, right?

Well, when an ambush turns up they all try to storm the fortress... and although they're all getting knocked out, none of them are actually dying.

Why, you ask?

Those discs are all made of green glass... which apparently can't even cut cloth.  *facepalm*

That having been said, it's still an extremely effective defence - it's just a slight amount of work for my military instead of no work.  (Also, a warthog that attempted to wander in died ludicrously quickly.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mrtspence on October 17, 2010, 05:00:14 pm
Quote from: sgrunt on October 17, 2010, 03:37:25 pm
So, I built the entrance of my most recent fortress to be lined with a large number of weapons traps, all with a full set of ten serrated discs and a trap door (pressure plate + floor hatch) on either end (i.e. the classic goblin grinder setup). No goblins should be getting in or out through that, right?

Well, when an ambush turns up they all try to storm the fortress... and although they're all getting knocked out, none of them are actually dying.

Why, you ask?

Those discs are all made of green glass... which apparently can't even cut cloth.  *facepalm*

That having been said, it's still an extremely effective defence - it's just a slight amount of work for my military instead of no work.  (Also, a warthog that attempted to wander in died ludicrously quickly.)

Don't bash green glass! In an older fort, I had several siege-breakers--traps that lured in and dropped gobbos en-masse onto green glass spikes; so that they died slowly and painfully :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Labant on October 17, 2010, 07:49:50 pm
Start a new embark, part of the Biome is colder than the other with a brook and murky pool frozen over....which my wagon and all my supplies start right on top of!.  Figure I have enough time to build a stockpile room in the mountain we are right next to. 1 game month in I am just finishing it up and about to make my stockpile and all of a sudden the ice is gone...guess where 2 dwarfs and the ENTIRE cart with all the barrels, animals, you name it except for whatever equipment the other few dwarfs had on them....no clue how I am going to survive this if only 1 game month in all my supplies are pretty much gone with no way to get them back easily and having only one pick left and they dwarf with it not wanting to mine they are all going to starve less than 2 months into the embark at this rate
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xtank5 on October 17, 2010, 07:56:08 pm
Quote from: Labant on October 17, 2010, 07:49:50 pm
....no clue how I am going to survive this if only 1 game month in all my supplies are pretty much gone with no way to get them back easily and having only one pick left and they dwarf with it not wanting to mine they are all going to starve less than 2 months into the embark at this rate

Simple solution. (if you started over the pool)  Dig out a large room in the dirt on the same z-level and next to the pool.  Then, when the room is ready, channel out as many tiles between the room and poll as you can from above.  The water will drain from the pool, into the room and create access to the goods and supplies.  Added Bonus: You get a Farm room out of the deal.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on October 17, 2010, 10:21:40 pm
Quote from: xtank5 on October 17, 2010, 07:56:08 pm
Quote from: Labant on October 17, 2010, 07:49:50 pm
....no clue how I am going to survive this if only 1 game month in all my supplies are pretty much gone with no way to get them back easily and having only one pick left and they dwarf with it not wanting to mine they are all going to starve less than 2 months into the embark at this rate

Simple solution. (if you started over the pool)  Dig out a large room in the dirt on the same z-level and next to the pool.  Then, when the room is ready, channel out as many tiles between the room and poll as you can from above.  The water will drain from the pool, into the room and create access to the goods and supplies.  Added Bonus: You get a Farm room out of the deal.

That's what I had to do once. If it was in the river...Magma?...somehow.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jackrabbitslim on October 18, 2010, 01:39:10 am
i have a dwarf who should be in porn... named fikod abirfikod... which means fikod romanceglaze...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beardless on October 18, 2010, 01:58:48 am
I almost embarked in The Unthinkable Swamp just to prove a point, but I'm tired of flat terrain. In the end I settled on two mountain ranges, one Terrifying, the other Joyful Wilds, with a narrow savage jungle valley between them.

Oh, wait. I'm looking at the world map. There's an entire region tile between them. (That's 1!)

Alright, I'll settle on the Terrifying mountain. There's an awesome set of high cliffs right at the edge of the valley. I can actually make a great story out of that: The journey to a holy mountain terminated by a vast escarpment, the way back blocked by the undead... Embark!

Huh. This is more like a really long hill. Dang it, there's a worldgen option for this isn't there? (That's 2!)

Ugh, I just spent three hours tweaking that embark profile. I should at least play for a little while. Let's start with the military... No! That short sword is reserved for the militia! Full-time soldiers get axes, dammit!

After struggling for half an hour to get the soldier to swap weapons, I realized I'd been assigning weapons to the uniform template, and not to the squad. (Aaaand that's 3!)

My personal rule ("The Rule of Three Really Dumb Mistakes") states that three facepalms means it's time to quit for the night before I do something really stupid... but I could let my computer generate a new world with the proper settings while I'm getting ready for bed! (Yeah I don't see where that could go wrong... ::) )
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on October 18, 2010, 04:50:08 am
I had a dwarf go berzerk and kill half my fortress in less than 15 seconds..

Including 6 legendary hammerdwarves, a legendary marksdwarf and a few less-well-trained troops.

I facepalmed.

Also:

Oh god I can see the tantrum spiral coming already.

And so much miasma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Raufgar on October 18, 2010, 07:07:08 am
The image below says it all:

(http://i1135.photobucket.com/albums/m631/Raufgar/FishingPhail.jpg)

<Face Palm>

EDIT: Ugh, that's an ugly pic, will change it when I can get a better one...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kipi on October 18, 2010, 09:40:05 am
Quote from: Raufgar on October 18, 2010, 07:07:08 am
The image below says it all:

(http://i1135.photobucket.com/albums/m631/Raufgar/FishingPhail.jpg)

<Face Palm>

EDIT: Ugh, that's an ugly pic, will change it when I can get a better one...
Well, I have seen magma crabs in the magma sea...

My latest:
I have set the announcements in the way that the game pauses immediately when one of my animals gives a birth so that I can immediately set the newborn to be butchered.
Well, I got a message stating that "*xxx* has given birth to *yyy*. The game paused, and I didn't check the message properly, so I immediately went to 'z' -> 'a' to set the newborn to be butchered. I wondered why I didn't see any animals in the list available for butcher before I realized the message was *Litast Oshurakrul, Butcher has given birth to a girl"...
*facepalm*  :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on October 18, 2010, 10:25:21 am
Ooops.

Nice, beautiful waterfall in the middle of the dining area.  Drains right into the canyon, how convenient!

And then the exit froze over in winter.

It went badly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on October 18, 2010, 11:09:11 am
Quote from: Kipi on October 18, 2010, 09:40:05 am
I have set the announcements in the way that the game pauses immediately when one of my animals gives a birth so that I can immediately set the newborn to be butchered.
Well, I got a message stating that "*xxx* has given birth to *yyy*. The game paused, and I didn't check the message properly, so I immediately went to 'z' -> 'a' to set the newborn to be butchered. I wondered why I didn't see any animals in the list available for butcher before I realized the message was *Litast Oshurakrul, Butcher has given birth to a girl"...
*facepalm*  :-[

Obviously her long association with puppies and kittens made her want a little creature of her own...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: elizar on October 18, 2010, 11:13:33 am
Quote from: Gearheart on October 18, 2010, 10:21:36 am
Quote from: ISGC on October 17, 2010, 02:04:53 pm
no, once a cage is attached to the lever (or any building for that matter), it is removed from the possible links, so it just moves onto the next one.  It is impossible to link a lever to a building multiple times.
I...

I did not know this.

...

So many wasted hours.

All my time setting up fights in the arena...

This was about setting "Link to Cage" on repeat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: celem on October 18, 2010, 11:15:09 am
Talking of kittens....

I very nearly lost my fort today when a goblin seige caught me with many traps jammed/full from a series of ambushes.  Time for secret mega backup weapon 1.....the doberbomb.  I send a lowly hauler running for the lever to unleash 60 wardogs onto my bridge......instead i unleashed 60 cats into the area around my butchers...in the confusion ensuing from the seige itself i didnt notice till about half had latched onto various important dwarfs.

Right lever, just linked to the wrong shared cage :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Megaman3321 on October 18, 2010, 12:16:46 pm
I accidentaly offered 6 masterwork mechanisms worth 360 each instead of trading them. :'( *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: deoxys413 on October 18, 2010, 12:57:58 pm
Quote from: Raufgar on October 18, 2010, 07:07:08 am
The image below says it all:

(http://i1135.photobucket.com/albums/m631/Raufgar/FishingPhail.jpg)

<Face Palm>

EDIT: Ugh, that's an ugly pic, will change it when I can get a better one...
At least you're not getting spammed over the fact there is nothing to catch in the
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bookdust on October 18, 2010, 07:08:32 pm
I embarked on this mountain way up in the north where everything is freezing! But I got this volcano right up close. But I have no easily available water source. So I dig down and find an underground lake and start planning my first pump stack (I'm still pretty new at this game) but as I'm getting everything ready I realize that I haven't any trees to help me build the pumps and the water wheel I had planned. And I used all of the wood I brought with me on embark to construct beds.

(http://kazikox.blogas.lt/files/2009/05/yet_another_picard_facepalm.jpg)


 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on October 18, 2010, 10:53:16 pm
Just wait until tower caps grow.

It's all good, man.

Edit: MaximumZero cancels post: Being retarded.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on October 19, 2010, 01:09:27 am
I recently learned that of all the ways to kill elf merchants in an effort to steal their stuff, walling them in and then dropping the ceiling on them was probably among the more ill-advised methods.

I also should have made sure my miners didn't somehow find themselves in the room just as the last bit of channeling was completed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McCheese on October 19, 2010, 06:57:31 am
Well i just had this cancellation message:

Urist McNurse cancels give food: eating
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on October 19, 2010, 07:47:44 am
I should bring one of the patients this cheese roast. Cheese is awesome, I bet he'd like it. I love cheese! OMNOMNOMNOM...oops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on October 19, 2010, 11:06:32 am
I just tried to use a wooden pump stack to pump magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MagmaMcFry on October 19, 2010, 12:56:40 pm
Quote from: Vehudur on October 19, 2010, 11:06:32 am
I just tried to use a wooden pump stack to pump magma.
Congratulations. I bet it took very long to build the pump stack and setup all the water wheels, axles, gear assemblies and such.  :D
One DFologic question: How high did the magma go?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on October 19, 2010, 01:31:13 pm
Quote from: MagmaMcFry on October 19, 2010, 12:56:40 pm
Quote from: Vehudur on October 19, 2010, 11:06:32 am
I just tried to use a wooden pump stack to pump magma.
Congratulations. I bet it took very long to build the pump stack and setup all the water wheels, axles, gear assemblies and such.  :D
One DFologic question: How high did the magma go?

It got up 15 z-levels.  But that was as high as the pump stack went, though, so...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: madmaxxam on October 19, 2010, 01:39:37 pm
Mine:  When I finally found out what the CLT in all of my workshops meant, and the ramifications of it. 
I thought I had enough stockpile space and haulers... really.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mrtspence on October 19, 2010, 04:44:05 pm
Just channeled my defensive non-flying-pathing-blocker (think moat but with no water) into my underground treefarm. Commencing massive-scale wall-off.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shootandrun on October 19, 2010, 06:43:06 pm
It was just a little farm. The first one was'nt big enought for all the population. I was just supposed to open that damn floodgate. Urist Mcyouronlyjobistopullthelever pulled the lever. Every thing good. Then, where there is enought water, i call for my lever puller to pull the lever.
Sleeping. The level of the farm (AND the lever) is already flooded.

On 21 levels of fortress, 17 are flooded. A hero mason blocked the path to the lowest level with a wall, but sealed himself in the water and died. On 200 dwarfs, 48 are still alive. 21 are at the surface, trying to survive alone (no miners or picks, impossible to reach food or important ressources). I think they could search some food, do some workshops and build picks... Yea. They can survive.
At the four last levels, i have 16 others dwarves. Masons, metalsmiths... People that were near mining zones when it all begun. They have no stockpile, no way to find ressources, and the miners died after saving a part of the population (i'll come to that) and they bringed the picks with them.
The 11 others are at level 15. My miners were diging a channel to slow down the water, and because of these miners i got a chance to reach the doors and build one in front of the last food stockpile.
The plan is to build a pick at the surface, did down to the food stockpile and then go get the survivors of the low levels.

If that dumb dwarf didnt went asleep while i got a phone Hell
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DumbfoundedElf on October 19, 2010, 09:43:35 pm
My militia commander decided to go into a fey move near the ending of my big stone hauling job which took the whole population to finish.  I went "oh crap", and made a group of recruits to wait outside the meeting area(where the commander was).  I waited awhile and decided to disband the group and just wait for him to go crazy.  I finish the huge hauling job, and most of my dwarves went into the meeting area.  Then the commander went insane.  He chased everyone so I decided to try and kill him with my squad of four.  One idiot decided to go as fast as he could, ending up being trampled by the commander as she took her clothes off at the same time.  All the weapons I had were training spears, so all I could do is poke her a bunch.  she killed ALL four of them, so I decided to swarm her. that ended p injuring one to the point where he couldn't walk but she was dead.

What made me facepalm was a couple of things: my meeting area was right next to the highest traffic area in the fort, I didn't have a hospital so I had to make a makeshift one, and the fat that soon after the injured got to the hospital, my only water supply froze, so all one of them died.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Raufgar on October 19, 2010, 10:04:46 pm
Quote from: DumbfoundedElf on October 19, 2010, 09:43:35 pm
My militia commander decided to go into a fey move near the ending of my big stone hauling job which took the whole population to finish.  I went "oh crap", and made a group of recruits to wait outside the meeting area(where the commander was).  I waited awhile and decided to disband the group and just wait for him to go crazy.  I finish the huge hauling job, and most of my dwarves went into the meeting area.  Then the commander went insane.  He chased everyone so I decided to try and kill him with my squad of four.  One idiot decided to go as fast as he could, ending up being trampled by the commander as she took her clothes off at the same time.  All the weapons I had were training spears, so all I could do is poke her a bunch.  she killed ALL four of them, so I decided to swarm her. that ended p injuring one to the point where he couldn't walk but she was dead.

What made me facepalm was a couple of things: my meeting area was right next to the highest traffic area in the fort, I didn't have a hospital so I had to make a makeshift one, and the fat that soon after the injured got to the hospital, my only water supply froze, so all one of them died.

Hmmm, didn't have the right workshop built? If not why do you wait for him to go insane? I usually have most of the workshops built right from the start. Just assign your guys with the right jobs to build the workshops and take them off afterwards (This is where Dwarf Therapist shines)

Unless of course, you're like me and:

1) Embarked next to a volcano
2) Just started the building your magma furnaces and some magma channels for said furnaces
3) Urist IDecidedIAmFey wants a magma-powered forge (the game doesn't tell you he needs one, you usually only find out when you have built every non-magma workshop under the sun and he's still standing there. OR WORSE, he only wants the one you've built but have not turned on the magma yet EVEN IF YOU'VE ANOTHER WORKING MAGMA FORGE STANDING BY FOR HIM)
4) You don't have magma-safe mechanisms/floodgates.

....I sometimes think Armok has a weird sense of humour....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on October 19, 2010, 10:07:28 pm
Basalt is a cheap source of magma proof mechanisms and floodgates.  I usually embark with 20 uncut stones (which is fairly cheap for a really big benefit of being able to have Fun from the start, every time).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Raufgar on October 19, 2010, 10:24:36 pm
Quote from: Vehudur on October 19, 2010, 10:07:28 pm
Basalt is a cheap source of magma proof mechanisms and floodgates.  I usually embark with 20 uncut stones (which is fairly cheap for a really big benefit of being able to have Fun from the start, every time).

I usually start with 31 of each drink, 1 each of every 2 EP meat for a total of 41 meats, enough ore/material for 3 full sets of Bismuth Bronze armor + weapons (with the requisite fire-safe stones for the smelter/forge) and some the usual seeds and stuff. No picks/axes (2 wood for the initial carpenter + training axe). This allows me to fully upgrade my Dorf ForceTM.

Will see if adding magma-safe stones will change the setup much, thanks~
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mrtspence on October 19, 2010, 10:29:06 pm
Accidentally built an unsupported wall whilst making a Dwarven Landmine of epic proportions. A lumberjack was terribly wounded and her infant obliterated by the blast.

EDIT: Just lost another 3 for the same reason--that will teach me to mass-designate.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on October 19, 2010, 11:50:20 pm
Quote from: Raufgar on October 19, 2010, 10:24:36 pm
Quote from: Vehudur on October 19, 2010, 10:07:28 pm
Basalt is a cheap source of magma proof mechanisms and floodgates.  I usually embark with 20 uncut stones (which is fairly cheap for a really big benefit of being able to have Fun from the start, every time).

I usually start with 31 of each drink, 1 each of every 2 EP meat for a total of 41 meats, enough ore/material for 3 full sets of Bismuth Bronze armor + weapons (with the requisite fire-safe stones for the smelter/forge) and some the usual seeds and stuff. No picks/axes (2 wood for the initial carpenter + training axe). This allows me to fully upgrade my Dorf ForceTM.

Will see if adding magma-safe stones will change the setup much, thanks~

Obviously, YMMV, it greatly depends on where you embark -- don't bother bringing magma proof stones to an embark with no volcano. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: granzteel on October 20, 2010, 03:19:39 am
I embarked on a land with temperature next to freezing: Cold.
So, my idea is to make ice structures since I guessed it will unlikely to condense in this kind of place.

my dwarves started mining the large central swamp, putting a floodgate connected to a lever at exit point. And yes, I've thought of making it alot bigger to make it a defensive freezing pit.

Then it rains... fills the pit... then... my dwarves... encased in ice..

maybe its still alive. Just.. frozen..  :'(

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Styledatol on October 21, 2010, 12:54:04 am
Spent half a year(game year) trying to figure out why almost all of my workshops were cluttered, when I obviously had more than enough haulers. As a result production was slow and things were going south. By pure chance I realized that my dwarves had nowhere to haul the stuff as the stockpile was covered in stone. ~facepalm~
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: warwizard on October 21, 2010, 01:19:14 am
ok trying 0.31.16, have a fort make it to a barony, and I pick a dwarf that likes adamantine :-) to be the barroness.
 later on I make my first military squad, and presto I have a captian of the guard.
I set the squad to be archers and check justice, 4 to get beatings, no melee weapon on the captain of the guard or the other members of the squad, so it should be fine.

  Hmm some dwarves just died... faces punched in to the brain by the first swing by the captain...


 who is incredibly muscular, mighty, slow to tire and agile <facepalm>
 Mr universe is admistering a beating, you can't even take one hit without dying.

The guard captain now has his personal burrow, I'll let him out for sieges.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Johuotar on October 21, 2010, 03:41:46 am
3.16: embarked next to 2 goblin forts, and ignored military completely.

Helmsdrills: Over 100 dead dwarves and counting!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on October 21, 2010, 12:58:13 pm
I had an absolutely ridiculous amount of facepalm moments trying to get my perpetual motion machine running. First, I forgot to build walls to contain the water flow as it came out of the pump, and the pump operator got washed into the channel, drowning because there was no way out (I had removed the upward ramps). I had to drain the entire thing to get his body out of there, which took so long that he had almost completely rotted by the time they got to it.
Then I tried refilling it, and it took me several minutes to realize that I hadn't resealed the hole I opened up to drain it.
Then I started filling it and made good progress, until I realized I hadn't rebuilt the wall that I tore down so that my dwarves could reach the pump operator's body. I had to drain it again.

Building a giant, physics-defying unlimited energy generating, circular dwarf-made river would be less stressful if I actually knew what the heck I'm going to do with it when I'm done.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tonic on October 21, 2010, 02:54:40 pm
Make invaders fall into this river and use them a target practice while they helplessly go round and round.  Or...do weapon traps work under water?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on October 21, 2010, 09:23:12 pm
I channeled out a moat, not realizing that I just exposed my farmland to the dreaded sun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pukako on October 22, 2010, 02:21:40 am
I've been DF mad for the last month or so, and have accidently killed ,through bad design or planning, a LOT of fortresses.

Finally got one up and running that was GOOD.  You know, dwarves doing decent work, only 2 cats (83 dwarves), military appropriate to deal with goblin thieves and slugmen, caverns walled off but underground tree farms coming on nicely - even went looking for AND FOUND flux and gold...

Then my hard drive melted.  4 month old laptop.  Have to mail it away to get repaired (only one Asus service centre in the country).

Personally, I think this is just another feature of DF - if the invasions, forgotten beast, thirst or starvation don:t get you, it will destroy your computer to make it more difficult. 

I'm currently using my wife's laptop.  It runs at 0 FPS at embarking. Playing is not an option.

Still, all things going well I should be playing an updated version in a few weeks, and a break will probably do me good...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on October 22, 2010, 10:13:21 am
As soon as I saw the goblin ambush arrive, I knew there was no way to get out unscathed. My military was little more than a ragtag bunch of misfits, with little training. Most of them also suffered the handicap of being dead, courtesy of the last goblin ambush. My only option was to order all my dwarves inside and wait it out. Sure, the goblins would kill all my animals, but we'd make do with what little food we had until the migrants showed up with more animals. So we waited... the Goblins hunted down and killed all the dogs outside, then the horses, the mules, the bulls...
Finally, with nothing left outside, they headed to the fortress entrance. No doubt they were hoping to wait to it out, hoping for one of my dwarves to be foolish enough to go outside. Now, the seige would begin, and it would surely be a battle of will, perserverance and fortitude...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on October 22, 2010, 10:19:38 am
Quote from: Samuel on October 22, 2010, 10:13:21 am
As soon as I saw the goblin ambush arrive, I knew there was no way to get out unscathed. My military was little more than a ragtag bunch of misfits, with little training. Most of them also suffered the handicap of being dead, courtesy of the last goblin ambush. My only option was to order all my dwarves inside and wait it out. Sure, the goblins would kill all my animals, but we'd make do with what little food we had until the migrants showed up with more animals. So we waited... the Goblins hunted down and killed all the dogs outside, then the horses, the mules, the bulls...
Finally, with nothing left outside, they headed to the fortress entrance. No doubt they were hoping to wait to it out, hoping for one of my dwarves to be foolish enough to go outside. Now, the seige would begin, and it would surely be a battle of will, perserverance and fortitude...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

oops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on October 22, 2010, 04:29:02 pm
Worst of all: my very first forgotten beast coming out from the entrails of the earth. Some metalcrafter, for a reason that completely eludes me, rushes in its direction, possibly to reach the cavern. The slaughter is, well, bloody. Later, before Dwarf Fortress crashed and erased hours of progress including the discovery of these very caverns (another facepalm-worthy moment in itself), when I managed to kill the monster, I found my dorf in two separate pieces. Good job, Urist. You didn't deserve that proper burial.

A well-known one: Urist McMiner digging tunnels for the water. At all times, he is quite able to get back to the surface (for a water source, if he feels especially undwarfish) or near the food stockpiles (for booze). He manages to overwork himself and die of thirst. Maybe the first dorf who deserved a break but didn't take it.

Another: WHY ARMOK ARE THERE FRIGGIN' TREES AND BUSHES GROWING RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY DOORS AND FLOODGATES AND NOT ANYWHERE ELSE
Most importantly, WHY WON'T ANYONE CUT THEM DOWN
I didn't give you axes to cut goblins in half! Actually, I kinda did. I mean. Oh, just remove the bloody plants already. There's not even any hostile thing to kill right now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eagle_eye on October 22, 2010, 05:47:29 pm
I set up a machine to eliminate unwanted dwarves quickly and painlessly. Of course, it turns out the delay on the pressure plate is too long for the device to work, so I expand its range. Two dwarves were killed trying to complete the construction work before I got the pressure plate dismantled....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beardless on October 22, 2010, 05:56:20 pm
Spent six hours preparing for the journey (and wiki-diving, and forum-posting), which was bad enough. Then I realized I'd embarked with no wood or stone. On an aquifer. On a single-biome map. That doesn't freeze. With only sand and loam above the waterline.

Quote from: Next Poster
Cave in!

I don't do that. On purpose at least. ::) (Does it even work in soil?)

Not to worry though--I have a solution! I shall build a wooden bridge across the river. Then I shall construct a temporary scaffolding down to the exposed rock layer, and voila--past the aquifer! What could go wrong?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yup, looks like smooth sailing from here on! :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on October 22, 2010, 07:26:32 pm
Quote from: Beardless on October 22, 2010, 05:56:20 pm
(Does it even work in soil?)

...

Not sure I actually brought a cook. (To build kitchen to render fat to make soap for healthcare.)

Yes.

...

Give Urist McJobless the cooking labor?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Megaman3321 on October 22, 2010, 08:13:31 pm
I almost killed my Legendary Miner by accidentaly destroying the downwards staircase. Twice.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Double A on October 22, 2010, 11:50:22 pm
"Wait, why isn't my squad using the barracks I assigned them with the enter key? Ooops, I just pressed the t key.

Wait.

...

FUCK."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Johnfalcon99977 on October 23, 2010, 08:09:47 am
"Why the fuck is my miner not cutting down trees?"
*Checks tools*
*Sees that I don't have an Ax*
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"
*All dwarfs get eaten by wolfs over night.*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on October 23, 2010, 01:58:10 pm
Quote from: Johnfalcon99977 on October 23, 2010, 08:09:47 am
"Why the fuck is my miner not cutting down trees?"

Because he's a miner?  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kardwill on October 23, 2010, 02:05:27 pm
My first one was a classic : The First Cavein.
31.03, I was reshaping the cliff face around my first fortress entrance. There were some floor tiles left after I mined the stone underneath, so I decided to try my hand at some directed cave-in by clipping them from the cliff.
I was careful not to let my miner work on the doomed tiles, and I made sure no-one was under the cliff.
REAL carefull!

"Here it goes! Woah, that's a lot of dust, here. Fortunately, nobody was nearby!"
"Uh, what are those purple announcements that keep appearing? And why is there a hole at ground zero?"

Z+1 : Cliff face, and a very proud miner.
Z (Entrance level) : Bottom of the cliff near the entrance, 5 tiles hole in the ground
Z-1 (Warehouse level) : Devastated booze supply, big hole right in the middle, A few shocked survivors trying to get to their feet, and to find their friends and more importantly, the beer.
Z-2 (City level) : My carpenter's bedroom. Bits of carpenter and bits of dog strewn about, while beer, stawberry wine, and dwarf blood are trickling from the hole right over the bed.

Bottom line : 4 dead dwarves out of 15 (including starting seven carpenter and planter), 1 dog, and 90% of my booze supply gone

/Facepalm/


Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on October 23, 2010, 02:16:48 pm
What a coincidence, I also just had my first cavein. Completely by accident; no idea how it happened. The dorf serving as my avatar ended up several levels into the caverns. I mean, parts of my dorf. It took months for the rest of the fort to safely bring back everything into a tomb.
No, wait, actually, that wasn't exactly the facepalm-worthy event.
The real one is when I tried intentionally making one afterwards in order to dig my garbage pit a lot faster.
Well, that worked.
Things didn't work out as well for the miner, but at least, he fell a shorter distance, stayed in one piece, and it took him a few seconds to die post-impact. So yeah, I thought it would be a good idea to do that. I'm not sure why.

Potential next facepalm moment: I'm planning to flood the caverns. For science. There's no way it is going to end well, but I still want to do it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on October 23, 2010, 05:51:27 pm
I had my first cave-in recently as well.
Almost killed a legendary miner, and did kill a new migrant miner.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beardless on October 23, 2010, 06:00:55 pm
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on October 22, 2010, 07:26:32 pm
Give Urist McJobless the cooking labor?

Huh. Could have sworn that building a workshop required Novice+ skill in the associated labor. Just tested that on a fishery, and apparently I was wrong. Was this the case pre-2010, or have I been loading my embark profiles down with uneccessary skills the whole time?

(Turns out I did have a cook, so the point is moot.)

And the fresh facepalm? I noticed that there were quite a few decent rock outcroppings at the bottom of the hill I embarked on. No need to cross the river after all. (I'm doing it anyway.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on October 23, 2010, 08:56:47 pm
Considering that I actually managed to get a no-skills, no-equipment except the wagon fort going on multiple occasions in 40d, this has always been the case that you don't need skills to build workshops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: inteuniso on October 23, 2010, 09:36:31 pm
I just realized how much havoc Blizzard Men can cause.

It killed off 4 of my 20 dwarves, including the expedition leader and militia commander. All with a <cave spider silk dress>.

I guess that's what I get for sending green, unequipped militia against a monster.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: neil_v on October 23, 2010, 10:43:24 pm
When my wife was just starting into playing this game, It was maybe her 4th fortress. She embarks and makes designations, zones, and stockpiles. Then she unpauses the game and watches her miners mine out a nice cliff face while a giant mole steals ALL her supplies, EVERYTHING!!!.  I facepalmed.
She gets the situation under control (re-made everything, and restocked), and in the second year a goblin ambush comes and kills everyone. They even hunted down every single dog and cat before killing the last dwarf.

---
I built a large walled fort with a large moat around its entire circumference. I didnt have a mechanized draw bridge accessing the fort, but a carved bridge bristling with traps across a chasm 10 or so Z levels deep...
The traps were getting cluttered with body parts from goblins, raccoons, foxes, and deer, and my dwarves were too busy to haul body parts all day... SO, I had the bright idea of creating a cistern above the carved bridge with a mechanized bridge at the base of the cistern to release water onto the carved bridge underneath, thereby washing all the bodies and limbs into the chasm where I had access to the bottom from the inside of the fort.... Bear with me now....   
I had a talented marksman as a hunter, he had 2 war dogs assigned to him. These guys were awesome killing machines that usually offed snatchers and raiders long before they reached the trapped bridge...
I finally got the cistern filled to 6 deep with water, and I wanted to test it. I checked the bridge under the cistern for friendlies, and the surrounding area, but saw no one. I order the lever pulled, and I see that my much loved hunter is coming back to restock his ammo.... Hes too far away and I can see the guy who's going to pull the lever almost adjacent the lever. No worries, the timing is right I think.
Dwarf pulls the lever, YAY it worked!, the bridge is clear of clutter.
I go the the bottom of the chasm to see the product of my handy work, only to see a war dog that had been accidentally washed off in the process. Its only a war dog, the fact is got hurt sucks, but a least its not a dwarf. I check its injuries, and sadly I find its entire lower body is crushed to a pulp. The War dog doesn't die, it pulls itself around sadly in amongst the limbs and corpses of countless others for a month before I decide Its not going to die on its own, and no one is going to tend to it. It needs to be put out of its misery. I order it slaughtered and butchered (which I didn't think you could do with war animals, but apparently you could at the time, 31.12 I think). Not to long Later I check my Dwarf Therapist, and I see my hunter is Miserable. What the heck, 'It must have been his war dog', I think to my self. So I check out my hunters status... I like to have butchery and tanning activated on my hunters, because it seems only right...
Apparently he had been the only butcher available... He had dragged his horribly mangled pet up from the chasm, slaughtered it and butchered it. And moved the corpse and hide to the refuse pile. It said in his thoughts:
"He had to watch a beloved pet rot"...
Wow... I'm the worst kind of person...


 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on October 23, 2010, 10:46:27 pm
Quote from: Beardless on October 23, 2010, 06:00:55 pm
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on October 22, 2010, 07:26:32 pm
Give Urist McJobless the cooking labor?

Huh. Could have sworn that building a workshop required Novice+ skill in the associated labor. Just tested that on a fishery, and apparently I was wrong. Was this the case pre-2010, or have I been loading my embark profiles down with uneccessary skills the whole time?

(Turns out I did have a cook, so the point is moot.)

And the fresh facepalm? I noticed that there were quite a few decent rock outcroppings at the bottom of the hill I embarked on. No need to cross the river after all. (I'm doing it anyway.)

Anyone with the skill enabled can build a workshop.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: wad67 on October 23, 2010, 10:47:08 pm
When i figured out that you could dig underground, and that there were multiple levels.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Raufgar on October 24, 2010, 02:24:10 am
Quote from: wad67 on October 23, 2010, 10:47:08 pm
When i figured out that you could dig underground, and that there were multiple levels.

Wait till you hit the Cotton Candy (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Adamantine) and the Clown Car (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Hell)  ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on October 24, 2010, 10:16:24 am
When I embarked on my current site, it was covered in snow. When I built my depot, one tile of it was buitl over ice I didn't see because of teh ice. That biome melts for a month in midsummer. I didn't notice the lack of depot until merchants showed urp.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: celem on October 24, 2010, 11:21:16 am
Since theres been a bit of a cave-in trend on this page...

My first cave-in.

Decided the mountain just 15 tiles south of my cliff-face entrance is really blocking the wonderful view from the windows built into the cliff above the tunnel.

Sent out a pair of legendary+5 miners and ordered them to dig out the entirety of the top layer of the mountain.  cave-in predictably ensues and my miners are sent sprawling though both survive.  Confused a little at why the top z-level should collapse yet reassured by lack of injuries i decide cave-ins are nifty but harmless and order the digging of the next layer down........2 dead McLegendarys.

Head to wiki and learn about 'floors' between levels left over by dig commands
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Meanmelter on October 24, 2010, 12:12:16 pm
When digging outside, I find it easier to instead of DIGGING the stone/soil, I turn it into a RAMP and then remove the ramp...

Been using this method for a LONG time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kardwill on October 24, 2010, 04:06:44 pm
Weeeeeee! I never learn... Another cave-in just took place in my new fortress.
Note to self : When deconstructing the firing platform of my barbacane, remember that unsupported corner fortification WILL fall, and that they WILL suck anyone in the deconstruction team (including several children) to smash into the drawbridge, 3 z-level below.
Well, at least nobody fell in the moat, and my med-team has a good reason to erase all these (v. rusty) tags. They will have many opportunities to train their skills on this new batch of badly mangled sacks of smashed bones and crushed flesh patients.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kiktamo on October 24, 2010, 05:28:44 pm
Rather recently I made a bridge out of ice without really thinking about the fact that a bridge isn't actually a construction...the bridge melted when summer came separating my dwarves from each other. They're  currently okay and I'm digging for stone for another bridge.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on October 24, 2010, 06:05:24 pm
Wait, an ice bridge can melt? I had no idea.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xtank5 on October 24, 2010, 06:10:32 pm
He probably dug it out and didn't make one from stones made of ice.  He said it wasn't constructed so it was probably just a natural formation of ice carved into a bridge.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kiktamo on October 24, 2010, 06:27:15 pm
Actually it was constructed out of the stones but I figure since it wasn't a wall or something else that's a (C)onstruction it melted.

Meh either way a made a bridge with ice boulder's and it vanished as soon as the river thawed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lancefighter on October 25, 2010, 03:49:50 am
I leave DF on virtually all day.. Ends up crashing about 8ish hours in. Mind you, this has happened multiple times..
I finally post somewhere raging about it...

Only to be told theres an autosave feature.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on October 25, 2010, 04:35:05 am
I hate caveins.
I saved right after a forgotten beast shows up and starts making its way through my fortress. In order to do so, it walked across the bottom of the deep (10+ z-levels) garbage pit, which was normal and expected (one side connects to the rest of the fortress through a very long tunnel, the other has stairs leading to, or from, the caverns). The beast actually has little to do with the facepalm.
It comes from the fact I'm digging/channeling the last bits of floor off at the many upper levels of the pit. they tend to hinder the fall of the garbage and, in the future, enemies, so understandably, I want to make it as deadly as possible. I'm being extremely cautious as NOT to cause yet another cavein and lose a precious miner for real.
Right after I sent a dorf to build a wall in the tunnel the monster has taken and prevent it from eating/poisoning everyone, I see an announcement.
What, another cavein.
I zoom.
The legendary miner not only landed where the beast can get him (but it is too obsessed by the wall to catch him apparently), but he is COMPLETELY UNHARMED and proceeds to walk down in the caverns to finish some tasks I'd assigned in the caverns and forgotten to cancel. He can't go back in my fortress, but doesn't seem to mind. Oh well, Urist McMiner, you'll get eaten, after all, I don't know how high you fell and you should have died, being devoured by a forgotten beast or a troll is just another way to go. I'm not rescuing you.
That was only the first facepalm.
Litterally 30 seconds after that, another cavein happens.
I zoom, semi-expecting another idiot to survive.
Nope.
Urist McCompleteMoron, who also happened to be the friggin' manager, had apparently fallen from the very top of the pit and was instantly crushed to a pulp after making a hole in the very bottom. Never found the body. Only blood. Must have tried to dig out a channel the way some saw tree branches while sitting on them.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME



Thank Armok (?) the game crashed again slowly after that. I cancelled everything that had to do with channels and digging. The beast was successfully imprisoned, and no further miner died. Also, very surprisingly, this time, the mason build the wall while standing on the right side.
I wonder if I could lure forgotten beasts underneath the garbage pit and cause a well-placed cavein, better a random miner than my squad and half the dorfs...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Traece on October 25, 2010, 01:57:36 pm
In my greedy digging of Adamantine I released HFS and watched as my dwarves and soldiers were mercilessly into pieces of fun. Then my cave-in device I made didn't work for some reason thus preventing me from saving myself (and slaughtering 99% of my dwarves).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: b1gb0y2013 on October 25, 2010, 05:22:43 pm
Well today I made a giant pumpstack about 50 levels up... I dug into a bout 5 aquifers, and the water is completely around all the walls of the tower down to the magma sea that I had to board up. Only problem is, I finally was going to add in the screw pumps... UNTIL I REALIZED I FORGOT TO COVER UP AN AQUIFER, AND HALF MY PUMP STACK WAS FLOODED!!!!!  :'( :'( :'( There goes about half my stone resources and about 3 hours of work... Looks like im going to need dfliquids for awhile...

!!+facepalm+!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sir_schwick on October 26, 2010, 10:48:04 am
Last night I was constructing a stonecrafting area where you could view the floor below from the floor above via a large open space.  Channeling out the squares past the first row required floors, so some scaffold landings ended up being built.  When all the channeling was done, i mass designated remove construction on the ramps.  Urist McImWithStupid and Urist McStupid ended up working at the same time on the two pieces of scaffold that were between them and the ground holding the scaffold.  My craftsdwarf was surprised by them and their end of the scaffold suddenly going from above to onto his shop.  Do not believe there were any injuries, although loosing those two might be worth it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Johuotar on October 27, 2010, 02:38:05 pm
Walled dwarf into room with dwarf soon going haywire
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tupu on October 27, 2010, 03:16:15 pm
Assigned two war dogs to a single dwarf hunter that already had 2 dogs assigned. I meant to assign them to the other hunter....
Well, let's put it under a long time since last playtime.... Atleast I know where he goes from the 4 adult war dogs and 3 puppies that follow him around...

btw, first post <.<


EDIT: New facepalm. Thought three cage traps and the moat-wall with a drawbridge that is always down will keep those goblins away.
Three champions, one elite wrestler, two haulers and a stonecrafter dead. Some useless animals died too. I apparently got three gobbos killed, and two trapped.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Devstorm on October 27, 2010, 04:23:17 pm
Managed to catapult my broker off the drawbridge while testing it, tossing him into the pit beneath. He died upon impact with the floor several levels below.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Root Infinity on October 27, 2010, 06:50:25 pm
I built a magma cannon, and was just finished when a bunch of goblins showed up

Only issue is that I forgot that I built 3 wooden blocks ages ago and I apparently accidentally used them in the pumps... Predictably, fun ensued - the pumps deconstructed and started flooding magma into my fortress, flooding the lever that I was going to turn off the whole thing with (Yeah I know - planning fail). So then I had magma flooding into my fort - and did I mention the goblins?

Face, meet palm. Repeatedly.

So that's how my last fortress ended...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Silent_Thunder on October 27, 2010, 08:02:45 pm
Had a dwarf put in some floodgates for my farm, but the idiot built himself into the little pit that was created before breaching the water source. No worries though, right? I mean after all, I just need to build the mechanisms for the lever. Guess who wandered in with the builder?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tzkal on October 27, 2010, 11:28:07 pm
I had always played in relatively peaceful biomes, but I felt it was to easy with just dear and foxes to worry about.
Que terrifying location with a small river. I scan the surrounding. "Nothing really to worry about," I thought. A few skeletal foxes across the river, but they can't get to me. Some skeletal carp in the river, but It's not like I plan on fishing anyway. I designate some deforesting, gathering, digging, and unpause the game. A few seconds later...
"OMFG WHY IS EVERYONE DYING! HOLY **** THE CARP; THEY'RE KILLING EVERYTHING!"
Your settlement has crumbled to its end.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheJackal on October 28, 2010, 11:43:54 am
A dodged facepalm, and a real one.

Right now, in the fortress Inkdeath I have been able to sidestep most lever related facepalming though an obsessive and possible wasteful amount of labeling with the [N]otes system. That and I took some engineering/drafting classes, so I have all my cistern and pump systems charted on paper with all drawbridges and levers redundantly labeled on paper and in the fort itself. I never pull a lever without checking the label, and it took me almost an hour just to hook up the seven gates in my main river bypass system. (I was making it modular and expandable.) So no facepalms yet - though the five waterfalls being constructed in my dining room might turn into a huge one. We'll see.

The real facepalm? I was looking at my massive stockpile of ores that had built up while I was waiting for my magma smelters to get powered. What can I do with all this galena that I have cluttering up the place? So I skip over to the wiki, and groan. Lead? A small chance of silver? Then I see the fabled electrum! It creates value from all but nothing, ensuring each boulder of galena turns into something valuable. So I hit Smelt Electrum(Use Ore) and then, being lazy, hit (R) to repeat.

Fast forward a season or three, when I notice that my stockpile is all glittery. Did I leave it on that whole time? I did, and my dorfs kept bringing more galena and gold nuggets. My Furnace Operator kept smelting. By the time I Canceled the Smelting Job I had filled my main Bar/Block Stockpile to the gills and overflowed into my backup stockpiles. In fact, I had 577 bars of electrum laying around, and maybe less than a dozen gold nuggets left. On the other hand, my Furnace Operator is legendary. WTF am I gonna do with so much electrum? Should I pimp out my dorf's meager 2x2 apartments? Prepare for a baron?


Tl:dr - I have 577 electrum bars I need to do something with. Also a legendary Furnace Operator!

ITS OVER FIVE HUNDRED!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Owlbread on October 28, 2010, 11:52:24 am
Quote from: TheJackal on October 28, 2010, 11:43:54 am
A dodged facepalm, and a real one.

Right now, in the fortress Inkdeath I have been able to sidestep most lever related facepalming though an obsessive and possible wasteful amount of labeling with the [N]otes system. That and I took some engineering/drafting classes, so I have all my cistern and pump systems charted on paper with all drawbridges and levers redundantly labeled on paper and in the fort itself. I never pull a lever without checking the label, and it took me almost an hour just to hook up the seven gates in my main river bypass system. (I was making it modular and expandable.) So no facepalms yet - though the five waterfalls being constructed in my dining room might turn into a huge one. We'll see.

The real facepalm? I was looking at my massive stockpile of ores that had built up while I was waiting for my magma smelters to get powered. What can I do with all this galena that I have cluttering up the place? So I skip over to the wiki, and groan. Lead? A small chance of silver? Then I see the fabled electrum! It creates value from all but nothing, ensuring each boulder of galena turns into something valuable. So I hit Smelt Electrum(Use Ore) and then, being lazy, hit (R) to repeat.

Fast forward a season or three, when I notice that my stockpile is all glittery. Did I leave it on that whole time? I did, and my dorfs kept bringing more galena and gold nuggets. My Furnace Operator kept smelting. By the time I Canceled the Smelting Job I had filled my main Bar/Block Stockpile to the gills and overflowed into my backup stockpiles. In fact, I had 577 bars of electrum laying around, and maybe less than a dozen gold nuggets left. On the other hand, my Furnace Operator is legendary. WTF am I gonna do with so much electrum? Should I pimp out my dorf's meager 2x2 apartments? Prepare for a baron?


Tl:dr - I have 577 electrum bars I need to do something with. Also a legendary Furnace Operator!

ITS OVER FIVE HUNDRED!

Sir, if I had 577 electrum bars, I'd be a happy man. Pave your floors with it, or make some sort of notable building.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: anzki4 on October 28, 2010, 11:52:45 am
Realizing that I have ran out of booze and that all water sources had frozen...

EDIT: + No magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on October 28, 2010, 12:24:40 pm
Just started a new fortress, and decided to make a glass industry hall. My volcano was about 15 z-levels higher than the fortress, and I didn't want to risk my miners by breaching it from the side, so I decided to make a long drop-shaft to deliver the magma to the furnaces. I ordered the miners to channel down from the top, sealing them in and forcing them to finish the project; then I switched to stairs for quicker completion... but one of the miners was my expedition leader, and there was a liaison on the map. So halfway down he decides to conduct meeting with him - he was standing on the side of the shaft. The other miner sealed in went on a long, long break. I ordered the remaining miner to dig out a way out, and then I found out why they didn't continue: the very last level of stairs was not upwards, but downwards.
Facepalm one.
The last remaining miner keeps digging, but does so very slowly and I realise why only a couple of minutes in: the tunnel was 2 tiles wide, as I expected the sealed-in miners to continue it, and forgot to redesignate it for quicker digging. Also, the miner didn't have his Masonry turned off (every dwarf had masonry on, there was a lot of building going on), so he constantly left the tunnel to build another floor.
Facepalm two.
The miner was just a few tiles too slow, and both of the sealed-in miners died.
Facepalm three.
Re-try of the same location (hate quick losses to stupidity, so restarted): I order a shaft to be dug on the same spot, but order several z-levels for channeling, forgetting the stairs for some reason. Cue the dwarves channeling out the tiles they were standing on, over a few levels of already open space... critically injured miners happen.
Fourth facepalm.

Another facepalm edited in:
In the previous fort, I've built five Goblin Grinder design siege lifters. They all worked fine... except for the fact that I put green glass disks in them. The poor goblins' frantic dodging of the disks and getting their armor dinged spawned 300-400 combat pages a second. They kept falling down from exhaustion but all remained safe and sound. *Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uzu Bash on October 28, 2010, 12:50:46 pm
Every five fking minutes while constructing a reactor tower for obsidian production from scratch. Someone's always sealing themselves in, with walls, channels or pouring lava.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on October 28, 2010, 12:56:42 pm
Oh, and one of epic dwarven stupidity: a carpenter went on break and decided that chilling out in a recently drained murky pool would be a good idea. While I was walling it off. He did it TWICE in rapid succession. *headdesk headdesk headdesk*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on October 28, 2010, 01:17:26 pm
Quote from: anzki4 on October 28, 2010, 11:52:45 am
Realizing that I have ran out of booze and that all water sources had frozen...

EDIT: + No magma.

Carve a stairway all the way down to a cavern.

More water than you'll ever need and some plants for booze.

Anybody killed by toads and troglodytes is expendable.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: eggrock on October 28, 2010, 02:59:41 pm
"Some mercheants have arrived."

Ah so! And it's the humans and their wagons filled with goodness!

Wait a sec, they're on the north face and can't get to the fortress. Oh well, b-g over the channel and a mason will take care of it. Back to digging out the trap rooms.

Meanwhile...

***picture of masons miners furiously digging corridors and channels***

Then:

"The mercheants are about to leave."

Mercheants, wha? Oh.. OH

***panic, u key spam***

Ok, mercheants are moving. Better get a lever hooked up to that brid-

I AM YOUR LIASON, LETS DISCUSS YOUR SITUATION

Nonono that's my trader. God DAMN IT.

In the end everything made it but the mercheants, who (I think) got as far as unpacking at the depot before they turned around and left. See you next year.

Then the elf caravan shows up, like I need more hippy cloth...

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on October 28, 2010, 04:32:39 pm
Quote from: eggrock on October 28, 2010, 02:59:41 pm
"Some mercheants have arrived."

Ah so! And it's the humans and their wagons filled with goodness!

Wait a sec, they're on the north face and can't get to the fortress. Oh well, b-g over the channel and a mason will take care of it. Back to digging out the trap rooms.

Meanwhile...

***picture of masons miners furiously digging corridors and channels***

Then:

"The mercheants are about to leave."

Mercheants, wha? Oh.. OH

***panic, u key spam***

Ok, mercheants are moving. Better get a lever hooked up to that brid-

I AM YOUR LIASON, LETS DISCUSS YOUR SITUATION

Nonono that's my trader. God DAMN IT.

In the end everything made it but the mercheants, who (I think) got as far as unpacking at the depot before they turned around and left. See you next year.

Then the elf caravan shows up, like I need more hippy cloth...

If you have a good squad, the hippy cloth is free, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DumbfoundedElf on October 28, 2010, 06:03:27 pm
Two face palms, two different fortresses (I'm playing two at separate times).

I was just building a bridge to build a tower on a hill (so I could be lazy with the first level.)Then some elves decided to trade with me.  I made a quick decision to kill them and sent 13 dwarves to take care of one, then two, then three annoying elves.  eventually I killed them all and told them to pick up the stuff.  I forgot the fact that they were covered in blood so I had a trail a blood that almost went into the second floor of my fort.  I little later I had human traders come to my fort and chose to trade a ton of stuff plus some cages.  It just so happened to be cages with animals from the elves that I killed and didn't pick up.  So I had dwarves taking out random deadly animals (luckily tamed) and letting them into our meeting area.  Now I have a lion in my meeting area in which I cannot slaughter(I slaughter every animal I get due to food shortages).

Facepalm 2:  I just started a new fort with a river far away from the fort area.  The only real food source I could hold up was fish(hence the river).  So I almost instantly sent my fisherdwarf to get some food and bring it back. a little while later, I find out he was drowned by trying to swim to the other side (the zone was set on both sides of the river, one was blocked on a corner).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LoveMachine on October 29, 2010, 02:51:25 pm
When I realised that  ". . complains about the draft" was caused by me trying to kill every kobold thief that came along and building acres of doors everywhere was doing nothing to keep out the cold air.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lenadi on October 29, 2010, 03:55:10 pm
In installed an indoor waterfall, and dring it's construction a miner fell down to his death. Rather than making a cylce sort of thing, he waterfall poured down like 80 z-levels to the caverns. I got a different dwarf to mine, so he decided to jump down the waterfall to grab the mining pick. A dozen deaths later, I installed a floor grate....god I hated those dwarfs
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on October 29, 2010, 05:26:07 pm
Since I discovered the cage trap, I've used and abused the feature to get some surviving goblins, trolls, and what-have-you from each and every siege. Then, I put increasing amounts of them (or else it just becomes way too easy over time) in a special room near my barracks, which is itself on the same layer as what I like to call the proletarian quarter, link them to a lever in a separate room, lock my squad in there, pull the lever, and watch with glee the shower of (goblin) blood and limbs that ensues. That is fairly good training for the rookies who can manage to land a hit before my legendary warriors finish them. Most importantly, that amuses me greatly.
Well, today, I forgot one important step.
The one where I lock the door.

I dismissed the squad before I noticed a wandering goblin thief running towards the crowd of not-so-disposable workforce. I'm lucky to have had war dogs to slow him down. *facepalms*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Traece on October 30, 2010, 12:24:35 am
On my current embark I have extremely steep and un-eroded cliffs which I dug in to. I made a floor path with space inbetween the two paths so I could install a retracting bridge. This allowed me to safely flood the entire area with lava so that I had a nice raised area of trees and grass (that's relatively small as well) to provide all the outside necessities (including ponds). Well, once the bridge was done it was pointless to have the scaffolding floors so I deconstructed them.

Not only did every dwarf insist on causing cave-ins with every other removal of these construction, but they did it over lava one z-tile below them. Those that didn't fall into the lava were killed by the lava spray from the dwarves and rocks that fell in to said lava.

This is the first time I actually had a fortress crumble rather than just be abandoned. Needless to say, I reclaimed, but damn those Dwarves.

Edit: Facepalm 2: I channeled a few pieces of dirt for the sake of having my walls on the surface be symmetrical. Turns out I channeled right over my Carpenter/mason/jeweler/mechanic/crafts workshops. Nobody was killed, but that doen't make me feel better.

Edit2: Facepalm 3:

This is the stupidest thing I ever thought of that was brilliant. I wanted to create a lava waterfall of sorts that went down the extremely steep cliffs beside my entrance. Sounds good right? I forgot to consider the fact that the volcano would happily attempt to fill any Z-Layer BELOW the source. It's already started engulfing my obsidian bridge. I. Am. An Idiot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zidane on October 30, 2010, 01:54:39 am
I forgot that if volcano's aren't being drained into HFS, they will constantly refill.

I only remembered that fact, AFTER REMOVING MORE OF THE VOLCANO WALL, SPEEDING UP THE BURNING DEATH.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skivverus on October 30, 2010, 02:17:52 am
After killing the hill titan with the (fortunately non-poisonous) icy spit, I discovered one of my butchers trying to lug the carcass over to one of my butcher shops, with the little blue down-arrow indicating thirst. Nice - didn't know this guy was edible. And at 10k+ Uristweights, that had to be a lot of meat. Unfortunately, all that weight meant the butcher was making fairly slow progress to the shops; I'd set up shops both on the surface and in the first-level caverns to deal with all the wolves and deer that wandered by on the one hand, and all the troglodytes, elk birds, and crundles on the other.
Guess which one the butcher decides to try lugging the titan to.

Now, guess again.

Congratulations, you're right both times.

After dealing with a few things elsewhere in the fort, I came back to check on the butcher's progress, and found the titan corpse abandoned just outside the bottom of the cavern stairwell. Soon, it was picked up again - and this time the butcher (not my only one, incidentally) started dragging the thing back up the stairs.

End result: miasma, facepalm, and a dumped hill titan corpse.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: James.Denholm on October 30, 2010, 02:53:17 am
It's such a drag when they do that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lastrix on October 30, 2010, 06:03:59 am
after 4 years of playing i finnaly found that my cavers doesn't contain ANY wood or shrub... and this happened when i don't have any underground seeds ( at embark seeds and drinks wasn't allowed somewhy... any world i make - no drinks and seeds ).
So crap... at least i'm good since humans still bring some distillable shrubs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zidane on October 30, 2010, 07:11:44 am
Quote from: lastrix on October 30, 2010, 06:03:59 am
after 4 years of playing i finnaly found that my cavers doesn't contain ANY wood or shrub... and this happened when i don't have any underground seeds ( at embark seeds and drinks wasn't allowed somewhy... any world i make - no drinks and seeds ).
So crap... at least i'm good since humans still bring some distillable shrubs.

I believe caverns need water for plants to appear.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lastrix on October 30, 2010, 10:16:25 am
No, there were mud and on last level bloody saplings/trees appeared, but no shrubs, at all!
When i lowered amount of semimegabeast caverns, everything become ok on new map.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on October 30, 2010, 12:19:03 pm
A ratman thief cut off my militia commander's head with a copper dagger just now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uzu Bash on October 30, 2010, 01:49:24 pm
Did you know that if you channel all cardinal directions around a well, it goes away?

...damn, I liked that bucket.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gr33kjester on October 30, 2010, 04:06:43 pm
Biggest Face Palm I've had was when I gave a -Steel War Hammer- to my recruit, and let him spar against my legendary swordsdwarf, the recruit smashed his head in, then, my fort died to 6 ambushes at once... 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shootandrun on October 30, 2010, 04:47:01 pm
Dwarf 1: Hey, look, an ambush.
Overseer: Every one back to the fort! Legendary axedwarves, get to the defense line! We will stand against these... What?
Dwarf 2 as been struck down.
Dwarf 3 as been struck down.
Dwarf 4 as been struck down.
[...]
Dwarf 143 as been struck down.
No more settlement.

Little, little problem with the "floodingmagmatrapofthedeaththatkills". You know. I use a lever system to lock some doors and get the goblins to the good ones, to burn them. Sad thing is, i selected the wrong burrow, so my legendary axedwarves have all melted in the burrow "Lure them here, nobles" while my whole fortress was going to the defense line.

*Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on October 30, 2010, 05:41:46 pm
Forgetting to set up proper defenses after making an expensive artifact. Cue settlement slaughter by a small swordsgoblin ambush.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zidane on October 30, 2010, 06:10:37 pm
My first goblin ambush consisted of only Lashers, they killed several dwarfs before I realized what the hell was happening. While this was happening a Cave Crocodile started butchering the dwarfs in my dining room.

Turns out I forgot to lock the door to the caverns, and I also build cages, instead of cage traps....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on October 31, 2010, 12:53:03 am
So, the elves that visit my fort bring me lots of wood (good thing, since my fort is on a beach that, despite what the embark info said, has no trees whatsoever!)

So they visit for the second time, and I trade with them and wait for them to leave, and I get the message that they do so.  Some months later "Elf merchant has become Melancholy." "Elf merchant has gone berserk!"

****! I raised my drawbridge for some reason, and I forgot to lower it again to let the merchants out!

I now have a berserk elf merchant (goes down quick to my untrained military) and a berserk mule (takes out a glass maker's spine before finally succumbing to about 5 dogs and a couple of raw recruits- the glass maker dies by suffocation.)

one dead glass maker, a couple minor injuries otherwise... and my food stock pile and main dining hall are covered in blood and **** bins of cloth and other worthless junk the elves were carrying.

So I save scum to not have to deal with cleaning up the merchants' junk. (the glass maker was a recent migrant, who cares, and the rest is just training for my medical dorfs; yay training!)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: drseptapus on October 31, 2010, 01:41:01 pm
I just almost had a heart attack because on my new embark I found a little group of "g"s. I dug as fast as I could equipped my lone axe dwarf, and assigned my hunting dogs. Then I looked at the invaders. They were groundhogs not goblins.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CaveIn on October 31, 2010, 01:45:39 pm
I was just finished laying out this bedroom design: http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/File:Hactar1_Mandelbrot_Tree.png (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/File:Hactar1_Mandelbrot_Tree.png)
My miner happily ran to work, and a few seconds later...
You have discovered an expansive cavern deep underground
FUUUUUUUUUUUU-

(I know there's probably some script to lay out this sort of thing, but when I'm going fractal I want to do the work myself <.<)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Herbiie on October 31, 2010, 01:47:41 pm
It's been 7 years and I've still got no magma. :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on October 31, 2010, 03:52:12 pm
Quote from: Herbiie on October 31, 2010, 01:47:41 pm
It's been 7 years and I've still got no magma. :D

Just dig straight down. 100 z-levels after, you have magma all set up for the forges and smelters and furnaces. Just make sure to build the impassable tiles over access halls, there're some very !!Fun!! creatures down there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on October 31, 2010, 08:47:31 pm
I just crushed one of my starter dwarves into a drawbridge, he was a mechanic and legendary miner.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uristocrat on October 31, 2010, 11:27:12 pm
I had my weapon smith decide to wander out of the fortress to grab, I dunno, a sock or something lying outside.  He met a kobold who was slinking around right outside the entrance.  It hit him once, hurting his finger, then ran off, chased by some war dogs.

The weapon smith starts fainting from the dire pain, but hobbles back to the fortress.  No big deal, right?

The idiot faints on a weapon trap and is shredded to bits by the serrated discs he made for us.

Hopefully that will teach the rest of them not to be such babies over a cut finger.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zidane on November 01, 2010, 03:47:36 am
I set a dumb site on one of my magma smelters thinking "Hey, this sure will safe me sometime!"

After around 10 minutes I checked and all the stone was gone, it took me another 5 minutes to find them all siting in a pool of lava, melted into nothingness D:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nordak on November 01, 2010, 07:05:38 pm
so, anyone who passes out over a trap gets shredded... *Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on November 01, 2010, 09:43:25 pm
No joke, I was reading this very thread, then went back to check how my dwarves were doing. The game had paused to warn me about goblin snatchers. I couldn't for the life of me find them, until I checked the units menu. They'd both walked right into the cage traps I'd put there for camels.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on November 01, 2010, 10:11:15 pm
All my barrels are full of food and plants and meat and other bullcrap that isn't booze. So I start making more barrels right? not with Urist McStrangeMood hogging the carpenter's workshop. So I build a second one... but McStrangeMood is my only carpenter. I have to provide booze for 44 dwarves with barrels being made one by one by a complete ameteur. Okay, as soon as Urist McStrangeMood finishes his little trinket, he'll be a legendary carpenter. We'll only have a little bit of booze for a little while, but then we're gonna be swimming in it. Oh look, the first barrel is done! And a helpful dwarf has already picked it up and taken it to the still... and past the still... and to the food stockpile...

*Headdesk*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on November 02, 2010, 12:03:17 am
Pop IQ Quiz:
You have been tasked with removing a hatch cover, situated directly over a 10 z-level drop. Where do you stand to complete this task?

A- To the left of the hatch cover
B- To the right of the hatch cover
C- Directly on top of the hatch cover
D- Directly on top of the hatch cover with two of your buddies there to keep you company while you work

If you answered D, congratulations! You are a dwarf!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on November 02, 2010, 03:27:32 am
Quote from: nordak on November 01, 2010, 07:05:38 pm
so, anyone who passes out over a trap gets shredded... *Facepalm*
Or trapped.
"You have caught: Bone Doctor! Would you like to give Bone Doctor a nickname?"
"Yes, Dr. Pussy McCrackedSkull."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LilGunmanX on November 02, 2010, 05:26:09 am
Okay, I really don't know what just happened. Here is the story of my butcher-dwarfs of Rareabbeys:

I recently hit the 100-dwarf mark, which is a first for me, and because my outside is so well-defended I've been getting a little bored with this fort. With a Goblinite-armed military of thirty strong (or weak, because they take so f**king long to train now,) So I decided to try my luck at colonizing the demonic fortress located in the third cavern on my map. Using DFreveal revealed page upon page of rotting and skeletal undead of almost every cavernous race imaginable. Snakemen, amphibian men, ant men, etc... for no less than ten pages when I first checked. But I had seen miasma constantly and the rotten carcasses of the ant people in the fort, so I assumed that the zombies were just rotting and dying over time. Also, I had read stories of un-trained dwarves easily punching the heads off of the rotting zombies' necks in the past, so I was fully confident my army, trained on captured prisoners, would be able to handle them. My biggest worry was that the miasma would give my dwarven soldiers some unhappy thoughts, but keep in mind that these are all happy, happy dwarves; Rareabbeys is the bees-knees, the place to be for dwarf, elephant, and war-hound alike! There was no way they would ever do something like revolt in the middle of a siege on their slade-clad target. I prepared my fortress for battle by placing two [2] successive weapon traps, each fully loaded with giant iron axe blades, in a one-wide corridor....

This is where things became...strange...

Being the idiot commander that I am [queue facepalm moment,] I had neglected to order all of my civilians inside the fortress (my burrow, that is, which is as large as the expanse of my entire fortress,) but I had not expected it would be such an important order to give. Because of this lack of specification, for whatever reason, although presumably to dress the rotting flesh of the zombies, my chief medical dwarf decides to trek into the fortress. Alone. With no animals. [I had caged all of my war animals, as they were causing a slowed frame rate and were unnecessary at the time.]

I snap into action. Although it had caught me by surprise, I viewed this as an excuse to finally put my military to good use. They charge the fortress through narrow corridors, in a hope to save their chief doctor, of which the survival of was an absolute necessity to the function of the fortress. This was now not a siege for the glory of Armok, but a high-priority rescue mission.

They arrive at the fortress, with the commander and captains at the fore-front of the army, and the whole force charges in, slaughtering the first floor of snake and amphibian men with unparalleled ease. They choke and gag on the miasma, but the doctor is located and flees back to the fortress with no more than a few bites and handful of bruises. More zombies erupt from beneath the floors. There is no turning back now...

Axes are swung and daggers lashed but the dwaves prevail to the second floor, a small, one-wide labyrinth of undead. The commander and captains go on, but this is when I notice something strange: multiple dwarven soldiers are carrying barrels of dwarven ale into the labyrinth. "...Why?" I thought. "Well... perhaps they expect a long siege, and so they thought ahead for the fortnights they shall spend in here. Good initiative, dwarves!" But then I noticed some other things:

First: A random blacksmith had made his way into the labyrinth and died. A shame.

Second: Only the commander and captains had advanced to the second part of the labyrinth. The others were not following.

Third: The ground around the other soldiers is spattered with dwarf blood.

Fourth: The dwarves are all killing each other.


...What? They're not unhappy dwarves, not even the injured lot! No dwarves are throwing tantrums...why are they killing each other!? Slowly my military is crumbling to the savagery of its own components, and my commander and captains will fall to the next floor of the undead...

I believe it has something to do with my mass-designating the entire labyrinth as kill orders, but of this I am unsure. Perhaps the narrowness of the corridors caused one dwarf to collide in combat with another? Or perhaps the miasma obscured their vision until one dwarf attacked another, causing the victim to erupt into rage? Perhaps the evil spirits of the demonic fortress incited the dwarves to brutality? The mystery prevails. Thus ends the story of the butcher dwarves of Rareabbeys


[Seriously, idk what the f**k happened, but they were all killing each other and killing snakes and there were dwarf parts all over the floor oh god. I had to force-close the program once a goblin siege showed up on top. I probably could've handled them with my traps, but I had lost so much it was game-killingly bad. Can someone tell me what I did wrong?]
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yoink on November 02, 2010, 06:57:58 am
It can't have been you commanding them to do it, well, as far as I know you can't command soldiers to kill other citizens. I could go on about crazy demon-mind-control-magics, but I'm a newb and have no idea what I'm on about. :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NightmareBros on November 02, 2010, 03:40:33 pm
Sounds like a on-the-spot loyalty cascade to me.
For example, soldier 1 'accidently' knocks soldier 2 with his axe and becomes an enemy to the fort but not the civ. Sodlier 1 dies horribly from AxeDwarf gang-rape. Anyone who assisted in his death becomes a enemy of the civ but not the fort. They do battle with all the other soldiers around them and spread the Fun around.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McTaverish on November 02, 2010, 04:45:14 pm
Quote from: LilGunmanX on November 02, 2010, 05:26:09 am
Butcher Dwarves of Rareabbeys

Years later dwarves would tell the tale over and over, stressing the importance of humility and the dangers of hubris.  The dwarves of Rareabbeys thought they could defeat that which lurks below, but instead turned on each other in the moment of their victory.  Such is the fate of any who would dig too deep.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on November 02, 2010, 07:24:17 pm
Quote from: Urist McTaverish on November 02, 2010, 04:45:14 pm
Quote from: LilGunmanX on November 02, 2010, 05:26:09 am
Butcher Dwarves of Rareabbeys

Years later dwarves would tell the tale over and over, stressing the importance of humility and the dangers of hubris.  The dwarves of Rareabbeys thought they could defeat that which lurks below, but instead turned on each other in the moment of their victory.  Such is the fate of any who would dig too deep.

He probably got some cool engravings out of it, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on November 03, 2010, 03:58:40 am
So... I finally took a 31.xx fort to the point where I decided to try out some military.

My fort is on an island peninsula, as described in an earlier face-palm...

Anyway! I have my marksdwarfs set up to use wood bolts (rare as wood is in my fort) for training (I'd do copper, but that would just double the cost in wood until I get magma)

And my marksdwarfs train with them.  So I made five stacks of iron bolts until I can order some flux stone from the caravan.  And vultures start scaring my dorfs, so I set the ambush alert on my marksdwarf squad to send them to the battlements of my fort and shoot at them.  And I see the quality of the bolts they are firing.

>_<

my weapon smith I was lucky enough to have get a mood and make me an iron crossbow.  So a legendary weapon smith made three of the five stacks of bolts at masterwork quality.  Which I have just set my dwarfs shooting at grabby vultures who are likely to fly off the map with them embedded in their guts.  And cause bad thoughts for my one legendary weapon smith.  Who has made a total of one artifact and three masterwork bolt stacks.  And I recall that the fewer masterworks made, the worse the bad thought for each lost.

*face palm*

I'd better go make sure my weapon smith has a hell of a great room.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uzu Bash on November 03, 2010, 09:18:59 am
Every furniture stockpile left to the default 'sandbags on'. Ugh...*smack!*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: James.Denholm on November 03, 2010, 04:57:38 pm
Quote from: Reese on November 03, 2010, 03:58:40 am
And cause bad thoughts for my one legendary weapon smith.

I thought that bad thoughts only arose from the loss of an artifact, not merely top-quality items.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DukeOfVandals on November 04, 2010, 01:21:18 am
Quote from: NightmareBros on November 02, 2010, 03:40:33 pm
Sounds like a on-the-spot loyalty cascade to me.
For example, soldier 1 'accidently' knocks soldier 2 with his axe and becomes an enemy to the fort but not the civ. Sodlier 1 dies horribly from AxeDwarf gang-rape. Anyone who assisted in his death becomes a enemy of the civ but not the fort. They do battle with all the other soldiers around them and spread the Fun around.

This.

I have only once had a loyalty cascade.

Goblin siege. Trolls in front.

My military does okay, kills the trolls. I tell them to Move over to where the goblins are next when I notice they are still fighting. But I can't find anymore trolls.

Reports notifies me that my entire military obliterated itself except for one dwarf, before the goblins reached the gates. Other dwarfs were too afraid of this lone, immobile dwarf to close the drawbridge.

Entire fort died to stupidity/loyalty cascade.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Crocatowa on November 04, 2010, 01:35:01 am
Back in the days of .40d I stumbled across a demonic fortress... whose bottom layer was not entirely on the map... I also did not have a forge setup yet and so i had no metal doors... or a functioning military... needless to say the zombies that decided to follow my lone miner back as he was scared beyond reckoning met little to no resistance whilst slaughtering everything in my fortress (seeing that the stone doors in place were dismantled quickly)... Starting with the kittens actually. Didnt quite understand the reasoning behind that last part
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yoink on November 04, 2010, 03:05:51 am
My sheriff went beserk and killed half my dwarves... All because I didn't know how to see what materials they wanted for their 'strange mood'. D'oh!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on November 04, 2010, 07:34:04 am
Quote from: James.Denholm on November 03, 2010, 04:57:38 pm
Quote from: Reese on November 03, 2010, 03:58:40 am
And cause bad thoughts for my one legendary weapon smith.

I thought that bad thoughts only arose from the loss of an artifact, not merely top-quality items.

Nope. THere's a massive happiness loss for the destruction of masterworks in "bad" ways (Bolts breaking on the target, for example, is a "good" way.) that is divided by the number of masterworks that that dwarf has made. Artifacts are even worse.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on November 04, 2010, 08:04:10 am
Quote from: Yoink on November 04, 2010, 03:05:51 am
My sheriff went beserk and killed half my dwarves... All because I didn't know how to see what materials they wanted for their 'strange mood'. D'oh!

Did you check using the 'Q' Menu?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yoink on November 04, 2010, 09:04:00 am
I've worked that out now. :P And I'm keeping my newly-posessed mason safely surrounded by a crack team of soldiers... Er... Unskilled recruits. :D

On topic: My dwarves have started throwing corpses down the drinking well... Somehow I think that's a bad idea...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LoSboccacc on November 04, 2010, 11:33:58 am
a bit off topic:

I just discovered that it's toady one, and not today one.

which perfectly makes sense.

*facepalms*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on November 04, 2010, 12:22:44 pm
Quote from: Lord Shonus on November 04, 2010, 07:34:04 am
Quote from: James.Denholm on November 03, 2010, 04:57:38 pm
Quote from: Reese on November 03, 2010, 03:58:40 am
And cause bad thoughts for my one legendary weapon smith.

I thought that bad thoughts only arose from the loss of an artifact, not merely top-quality items.

Nope. THere's a massive happiness loss for the destruction of masterworks in "bad" ways (Bolts breaking on the target, for example, is a "good" way.) that is divided by the number of masterworks that that dwarf has made. Artifacts are even worse.

Hence why you should only engrave walls, so as to not accidentally have a muddy masterwork engraving get "treed".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Miko19 on November 04, 2010, 01:24:11 pm
I looked at the Bay 12 DORF FORT website for the whole day, disappointed that there is STILL no 31.17 (which should be called 32.01, frankly. Or 13.37)
*EPIC FACEPALM*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Killing Time on November 05, 2010, 12:27:44 am
I wish forts could be transplanted between regions. I'm excited for the new version but I don't wanna abandon my fort and its history :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on November 05, 2010, 01:41:24 am
Quote from: Killing Time on November 05, 2010, 12:27:44 am
I wish forts could be transplanted between regions. I'm excited for the new version but I don't wanna abandon my fort and its history :(

So far in 31.X, you can copy your region folders from one version to the next- the only thing that might mess up there is if there are changed to the raws, as a copy is saved in your region folder, but that just means you don't benefit from any raw changes from the new version.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mortiss on November 05, 2010, 04:29:53 am
Fogetting that up/down stairs have a "down" component.
While prepaing a mandatory bungee jump course facility for goblins (rope optional), I have breached into a section of a caverns. Since the cave-in punched
few holes in the floor, I have quickly sealed them thinking that it will prevent flying forgotten beasts to enter.
Lo and behold I suddenly get messages that a beast is messing up my dwaf gym in a busy area of the fort.
Thought one - how the hell did that get in there? - Later discovered to be an overlooked staircase.
Thought two - Well no problem, barracks are near and thats what legendary axedwarves are for.

So I give command to kill the beast.... Tadaa.. all my military runs out from the barracks and promptly goes in the opposite direction towards living quarters and falls asleep!!! Orders show that soldiers (cannot follow order). Apparently a flying monster even in a 1 Z-level high zon is still out of reach for those axes.
Fortunately war dogs slow the thing down a bit before it damaged too many civilians. I have reorded squads to station in vicinity and it turns out that those axes had long enough handles after all.

As an epilogue - beasts blood was mildly poisonous and turned my fortess into a giant puke house.  :o

Cleaning in progress......
 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gr33kjester on November 05, 2010, 03:26:08 pm
'Nother face palm moment here, my Mayor wanted, and I quote, 3 SLADE doors, so I panicked and thought it was slate, so, I dug into the caverns, killed 20/35 of my dwarfs due to fishmen, then saw it was SLADE doors, lets say, he got killed, horribly the special treatment my ELVES get from me... 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mnjiman on November 05, 2010, 04:01:13 pm
My Recent fortress happen to be under a mountain, and all the good ores were at the very very top.

I had about 6 Legendary miners so they were pretty quick mining, so I have been clearing out big masses of rock at a time.


At the same time I had a trading Caravan come up to my fortress, i noticed the game paused. I looked at the announcments, and to my awe and wonder a multitude of dwarfs have been crushed and killed. "A Cave in?! How?" i thought to myself.

I zoomed to where the dwarfs died, and I discovered that I cleared an entire floor at the peak of the mountain, so when they finished clearing the rocks... well... all my miners got killed + a ton more who where grabbing iron ore are storing it.

/me palm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Killing Time on November 05, 2010, 08:16:08 pm
Just found out that two of my marksdwarves have apparently spent the last 2 years splitting apart stacks of food and claiming it for themselves. Now half the food in the fortress is owned by two dwarves and inedible by anyone else.
Hopefully starving them to death will release their ownership of the food.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Raufgar on November 05, 2010, 09:57:54 pm
Quote from: Killing Time on November 05, 2010, 08:16:08 pm
Just found out that two of my marksdwarves have apparently spent the last 2 years splitting apart stacks of food and claiming it for themselves. Now half the food in the fortress is owned by two dwarves and inedible by anyone else.
Hopefully starving them to death will release their ownership of the food.

If I recall correctly, once it has been claimed, it won't be reverted back, unless you have the dwarven economy running (tax collector will un-claim stuff owned if they can't afford it, but good luck with getting that running in 31.xx, read this (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Economy)). Your best bet is to make sure they aren't carrying any backpacks (for rations, which is one reason they are claiming food and dropping it, most likely) and that they have time to go eat (this is the other reason they are claiming all that food, no time to eat, scheduling them some downtime is always good, allows them to drink, eat and sleep, I suggest 2 months training and 1-2 months bumming/working at other jobs)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkflagrance on November 05, 2010, 11:19:01 pm
Quote from: Killing Time on November 05, 2010, 08:16:08 pm
Just found out that two of my marksdwarves have apparently spent the last 2 years splitting apart stacks of food and claiming it for themselves. Now half the food in the fortress is owned by two dwarves and inedible by anyone else.
Hopefully starving them to death will release their ownership of the food.

As long as the marksdwarves have no tombs or family, the food will indeed be freed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Raufgar on November 06, 2010, 07:36:10 am
Quote from: darkflagrance on November 05, 2010, 11:19:01 pm
Quote from: Killing Time on November 05, 2010, 08:16:08 pm
Just found out that two of my marksdwarves have apparently spent the last 2 years splitting apart stacks of food and claiming it for themselves. Now half the food in the fortress is owned by two dwarves and inedible by anyone else.
Hopefully starving them to death will release their ownership of the food.

As long as the marksdwarves have no tombs or family, the food will indeed be freed.

Of course, you can "speed up" the process a little, have them both in a different squad, no uniform, remove all equipment from them, drop them in the caverns to play with the batmen, or use them as the front lines in the defense against sieges :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JonBrant on November 06, 2010, 08:21:28 am
You don't have to manually assign every dwarf a bed. Just designate it and when they want one, they'll claim it

/facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Arkenstone on November 06, 2010, 11:16:03 am
Well, actually I've seen a bug with the bed thing, Toady might have fixed it by now though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on November 06, 2010, 01:20:33 pm
Quote from: Arkenstone on November 06, 2010, 11:16:03 am
Well, actually I've seen a bug with the bed thing, Toady might have fixed it by now though.

There was a point where dorfs would just sleep in the nearest bed, which meant then never slept in a free room to claim it (and would sleep in the barracks even when they had a room) but it appears to be fixed in 31.16
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on November 06, 2010, 01:57:42 pm
Quote from: Reese on November 06, 2010, 01:20:33 pm
Quote from: Arkenstone on November 06, 2010, 11:16:03 am
Well, actually I've seen a bug with the bed thing, Toady might have fixed it by now though.

There was a point where dorfs would just sleep in the nearest bed, which meant then never slept in a free room to claim it (and would sleep in the barracks even when they had a room) but it appears to be fixed in 31.16

IIRC, the bug was present in 31.12. Which is also the last version supporting Dwarf Therapist, as far as I know. No wonder people still suffer from it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xtank5 on November 06, 2010, 02:08:10 pm
Quote from: NewSheoth on November 06, 2010, 01:57:42 pm
IIRC, the bug was present in 31.12. Which is also the last version supporting Dwarf Therapist, as far as I know. No wonder people still suffer from it.
DT now has support 0.31.16.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on November 06, 2010, 02:10:10 pm
Quote from: xtank5 on November 06, 2010, 02:08:10 pm
Quote from: NewSheoth on November 06, 2010, 01:57:42 pm
IIRC, the bug was present in 31.12. Which is also the last version supporting Dwarf Therapist, as far as I know. No wonder people still suffer from it.
DT now has support 0.31.16.

Whee! Taking a two day long break and so much stuff happens. Thanks! Maybe it was made earlier than that, but I didn't know anyway.

Constitutes a facepalm moment for me, since I hate to display wrong data.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ET on November 06, 2010, 03:50:29 pm
About a year ago in my first fort I didn't realise there was a Z-axis then migrants appeared on a different level. I spent about 10 minutes looking for my dwarfs. Then I looked in the readme and saw that if I pressed question mark I could look at help. Then finally realised there was a third dimension.

I felt really stupid.

Also it wasn't until my second game I realised farming existed and that I didn't have to rely on gathering plants
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ipwnurmom221 on November 06, 2010, 06:01:49 pm
Forgot to change raws so cats didn't have a body temp of 99910070. Fire made my dwarves bleed to death?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on November 06, 2010, 06:04:06 pm
Quote from: Ipwnurmom221 on November 06, 2010, 06:01:49 pm
Forgot to change raws so cats didn't have a body temp of 99910070. Fire made my dwarves bleed to death?

It wasn't the fire.
It was the GIANT SHOCKWAVE OF THE THERMONUCLEAR CATSPLOSION!! It crushed them against the ground and trees and their equipment and even themselves!
Every instance of a thermonuclear catsplosion is awesome by default. Regardless of the results. No, especially because of the results.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ipwnurmom221 on November 06, 2010, 06:05:47 pm
Quote from: NewSheoth on November 06, 2010, 06:04:06 pm
Quote from: Ipwnurmom221 on November 06, 2010, 06:01:49 pm
<Stuff i said>

It wasn't the fire.
It was the GIANT SHOCKWAVE OF THE THERMONUCLEAR CATSPLOSION!! It crushed them against the ground and trees and their equipment and even themselves!
Every instance of a thermonuclear catsplosion is awesome by default. Regardless of the results. No, especially because of the results.

Yes it was both awesome and facepalm. Melted !!cats!! and ashes and !!fire!! and !!dwarves!! everywhere.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on November 06, 2010, 06:09:08 pm
Quote from: Ipwnurmom221 on November 06, 2010, 06:05:47 pm
Quote from: NewSheoth on November 06, 2010, 06:04:06 pm
Quote from: Ipwnurmom221 on November 06, 2010, 06:01:49 pm
<Stuff i said>

It wasn't the fire.
It was the GIANT SHOCKWAVE OF THE THERMONUCLEAR CATSPLOSION!! It crushed them against the ground and trees and their equipment and even themselves!
Every instance of a thermonuclear catsplosion is awesome by default. Regardless of the results. No, especially because of the results.

Yes it was both awesome and facepalm. Melted !!cats!! and ashes and !!fire!! and !!dwarves!! everywhere.

Glorious, isn't it? One of the finest forms of glorification of Armok there is.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ipwnurmom221 on November 06, 2010, 06:27:04 pm
Yes. So glorious. Only the reclaim of that ideal embark zone was slightly inconvenient.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on November 06, 2010, 06:29:21 pm
Quote from: Ipwnurmom221 on November 06, 2010, 06:27:04 pm
Yes. So glorious. Only the reclaim of that ideal embark zone was slightly inconvenient.

Radiaoctive !!xstray cat pancreasx!!?
Or just fire everywhere, including the brew-filled wagon you brought along?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ipwnurmom221 on November 06, 2010, 06:56:57 pm
The latter. So everything non-flammable that i brought along was useless. I reclaimed without reloading the game so the new cats also melted. But this time there was nothing to ignite by way of molten cat. So i'm just catless now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: breadbocks on November 07, 2010, 12:02:23 pm
A word of advice? Farmplot designations put out fires.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Arkenstone on November 07, 2010, 08:26:42 pm
*W00T! 200 Pages!*


This is actually on old one, back from just after the switch over from 40d:

I had started up an adventurer and gotten to ok level stats.  I walked into town and asked for a quest.  I was told to seek out and kill a demon in the same town I already was in!  So I did some recon, and it turned out the warlord had asked me to dispose of his lawgiver.  So I snuck around until after nightfall, when I walked into it's hovel (not quite the grim palace I had expected) and tried to kill it.  All of my weapons glanced off without leaving a scratch, and I ended up throttling it.  Then, my companions turned on me.  I fled town and tried to come back later to talk with the warlord who hired me to sort it all out,  but he turned on me too.  I guess he was making himself the hero there...  I went to the dwarves and got a couple of them to folow me, but when I returned to extract vengance on the warlord they would not help me.  They just stood around and (presumably) laughed as the entire town beat me to death in the meeting hall.

On the up side, I think I took the warlord down with me; I forget though. :P


EDIT: Whoever gets post reply #3000 better aknowlege the fact.  No double-posting to get it though. >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kilakan on November 07, 2010, 09:00:30 pm
Just noticed one of my swordsmen got his title..... The Carnal Lighting.  He then ran out and got cut into about 10 pieces by an all female goblin ambush squad.
edit* Just facepalmed again, zoomed out to look at a full map view of my current fort and due to my stockpile placements, walls, floors, and the dead and blood everywhere my entire above ground fort looks like a giant head puking dead people and blood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Organum on November 07, 2010, 10:45:15 pm
Y'know, some people strive for that kind of architectural wonderment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: S31-Syntax on November 07, 2010, 11:45:47 pm
I just had to abandon a young fort because NINE of its twenty-five inhabitants were THROWN INTO THE MOAT by A RACCOON. and a tenth was beheaded by the same raccoon. One of them was my axedwarf. The rest are tantrum spiraling into oblivion.

-headdesk-

P.S. The raccoon has a name now, it got named by my people. I'll look for it in legends.

EDIT:

End result was the death of 15 dwarves. 1 by beheading, and 14 to drowning in the moat. All that drowned were pushed in by that damned raccoon and his army of deer. One of them was a child that was held in place in the water by his leg.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zidane on November 07, 2010, 11:55:13 pm
I didn't realize that you couldn't remove slopes on the edges of maps, I only learned this when a goblin ambush appeared over my entrance.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on November 08, 2010, 05:32:32 am
Quote from: S31-Syntax on November 07, 2010, 11:45:47 pm
I just had to abandon a young fort because NINE of its twenty-five inhabitants were THROWN INTO THE MOAT by A RACCOON. and a tenth was beheaded by the same raccoon. One of them was my axedwarf. The rest are tantrum spiraling into oblivion.

-headdesk-

P.S. The raccoon has a name now, it got named by my people. I'll look for it in legends.

EDIT:

End result was the death of 15 dwarves. 1 by beheading, and 14 to drowning in the moat. All that drowned were pushed in by that damned raccoon and his army of deer. One of them was a child that was held in place in the water by his leg.

He probably came from Narnia.

Quote from: Zidane on November 07, 2010, 11:55:13 pm
I didn't realize that you couldn't remove slopes on the edges of maps, I only learned this when a goblin ambush appeared over my entrance.

I was lucky enough to notice that the last bit didn't get removed. I walled the edge in question off, only for the mason to trap himself on a 1x1 cliff behind the wall, right before an ambush.

My most recent facepalm is not realising that upward ramps can be dug from above, despite having done that before, and losing two dwarf years because of that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yoink on November 08, 2010, 05:49:12 am
Having a prisoner, chained up securely, go beserk, and thinking that'd make some good practice for my marksdwarves, who I'm not very good at commanding.
So I station them across the room from him, designate them all with crossbows and bolts, and they wander in, run up to him and start thwacking him with their crossbows. *facepalm*
And then he kills one, and badly injures two others (guts popped out, fractured lung... He slightly wounded another too, I think) before one of my heroic dwarves gets there and beheads him in a single stroke. *double facepalm*
Damnit dwarves!! Going beserk and killing everyone is only okay if YOU'RE one of my favourite dwarves!! D:<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on November 08, 2010, 05:59:31 am
Quote from: Yoink on November 08, 2010, 05:49:12 am
Having a prisoner, chained up securely, go beserk, and thinking that'd make some good practice for my marksdwarves, who I'm not very good at commanding.
So I station them across the room from him, designate them all with crossbows and bolts, and they wander in, run up to him and start thwacking him with their crossbows. *facepalm*
And then he kills one, and badly injures two others (guts popped out, fractured lung... He slightly wounded another too, I think) before one of my heroic dwarves gets there and beheads him in a single stroke. *double facepalm*
Damnit dwarves!! Going beserk and killing everyone is only okay if YOU'RE one of my favourite dwarves!! D:<

Also... chaining fearsome beasts in front of the fortress entrance, only for the next ambush to be composed of archers... *sigh*

HA! 3000.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: S31-Syntax on November 08, 2010, 07:01:17 am
Quote from: NewSheoth on November 08, 2010, 05:59:31 am
HA! 3000.

I don't get it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on November 08, 2010, 07:34:29 am
Quote from: S31-Syntax on November 08, 2010, 07:01:17 am
Quote from: NewSheoth on November 08, 2010, 05:59:31 am
HA! 3000.

I don't get it.

Neither do I. But it's still HA!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yoink on November 08, 2010, 07:40:57 am
HAHA!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on November 08, 2010, 07:53:02 am
Quote from: Yoink on November 08, 2010, 07:40:57 am
HAHA!

HAHAHA!

Back to facepalmity:

Anytime I did not check for goblin availability on the site, and build extensive defenses preparing for sieges that will never come.

Yes, this used to happen a lot before I learned the lesson.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on November 08, 2010, 09:35:47 am
oh, and how would you do that  :-\

anyways I sometimes did the same thing with the marksdwarves, only with the kill command... much more Fun.

*Recent news*
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on November 08, 2010, 09:41:11 am
Quote from: TolyK on November 08, 2010, 09:35:47 am
oh, and how would you do that  :-\

[...]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

If that's a question, then press Tab when you are on the site choosing screen. It will shift between a few modes, one of them being civilization availability. Goblins are marked with a -------, which helps to see if they will attack you or not easily.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rhinelander on November 08, 2010, 10:37:52 am
I just discovered that platinum crafts are 1000x more valuable than stone crafts. I wonder why I ever bothered with stone crafts as trade goods.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Askot Bokbondeler on November 08, 2010, 10:43:39 am
excuse me guys, something is puzzling me. why was this thread stickied? :\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on November 08, 2010, 01:28:22 pm
Quote from: Askot Bokbondeler on November 08, 2010, 10:43:39 am
excuse me guys, something is puzzling me. why was this thread stickied? :\

Well... other than dwarfs being a constant producer of face palms...

A couple useful and interesting tips have surfaced here and there on this thread.

My moment is probably a rather common one...  I was playing adventure mode and was practicing swimming when a lonely fish swam by... so I killed it... but then... Lots... and lots of fish started appearing at the edge of my sight... and they started attacking me and I attacked back... but ultimately I got killed. The river ran red that day.

I realized that fish could be very dangerous even if they aren't as strong as the fabled carp of olde...

A fortress moment would be when I practiced building a tower.  Despite the obvious possible errors, nothing went wrong and I was happy. Until I started getting messages... Dwarven Child has died of hunger... War Elephant has died of thirst...

I was like... what?  I start to investigate the mystery.  And found a couple corpses and a handful of dying children and elephants on top of the tower.  My only thought is they sneaked up there while I was removing the scaffolding.  But why only children and elephants, I have no idea.  They had no reason to be up there. I only had one reaction. :facepalm:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yoink on November 08, 2010, 05:12:47 pm
Well... They're both types of pet, right? :P
Musta followed your workers up there, who didn't miss an opportunity to get rid of them.

EDIT: Another facepalm... I just found one of my injured dwarves, yes, the one with the guts popped out.
She wasn't in the hospital. She's crawling along planting fields, with intestines trailing along behind her.
My medic dwarves really aren't doing their jobs well... *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on November 08, 2010, 05:45:11 pm
Urist (yes, his name actually was Urist this time) got a strange mood and demanded cloth, stone blocks, bone, and wood. I got him his stuff, wondering how they'd be used together.

I ended up with a mule bone gauntlet. Nothing special about it whatsoever, no images, no spikes, nothing.

What I want to know is what on earth happened to the wood, stone and cloth.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yoink on November 08, 2010, 05:48:17 pm
I read that bone artifacts are bugged, their decorations always disappear. :( I got one too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on November 08, 2010, 05:49:27 pm
Quote from: Samuel on November 08, 2010, 05:45:11 pm
Urist (yes, his name actually was Urist this time) got a strange mood and demanded cloth, stone blocks, bone, and wood. I got him his stuff, wondering how they'd be used together.

I ended up with a mule bone gauntlet. Nothing special about it whatsoever, no images, no spikes, nothing.

What I want to know is what on earth happened to the wood, stone and cloth.

Quote from: Yoink on November 08, 2010, 05:48:17 pm
I read that bone artifacts are bugged, their decorations always disappear. :( I got one too.

Had this happen quite a lot. Just like now: a dorf got posessed and snagged my crafts workshop right when I was frantically making stuff to get seeds off the elves (they're nice to me again despite the horrible deforestation of the map) and demanded two units of bone and one of cloth. I had to butcher a donkey and a mule to get him what he wanted, and all I got was an undecorated bone bin worth less than some of the stuff made outside of moods. Probably the posessors took the rest of the stuff away.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on November 08, 2010, 05:54:55 pm
Quote from: NewSheoth on November 08, 2010, 05:49:27 pm
Quote from: Samuel on November 08, 2010, 05:45:11 pm
Urist (yes, his name actually was Urist this time) got a strange mood and demanded cloth, stone blocks, bone, and wood. I got him his stuff, wondering how they'd be used together.

I ended up with a mule bone gauntlet. Nothing special about it whatsoever, no images, no spikes, nothing.

What I want to know is what on earth happened to the wood, stone and cloth.

Quote from: Yoink on November 08, 2010, 05:48:17 pm
I read that bone artifacts are bugged, their decorations always disappear. :( I got one too.

Had this happen quite a lot. Just like now: a dorf got posessed and snagged my crafts workshop right when I was frantically making stuff to get seeds off the elves (they're nice to me again despite the horrible deforestation of the map) and demanded two units of bone and one of cloth. I had to butcher a donkey and a mule to get him what he wanted, and all I got was an undecorated bone bin worth less than some of the stuff made outside of moods. Probably the posessors took the rest of the stuff away.

Ah, it's not his fault, then? I guess somebody else will get the job of inspecting the dark, forboding downward passage to see if there are any eldritch horrors waiting to visit their wrath on any dwarf unfortunate enough to stumble upon it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Arkenstone on November 08, 2010, 06:15:57 pm
Quote from: Yoink on November 08, 2010, 05:12:47 pm
Well... They're both types of pet, right? :P
Musta followed your workers up there, who didn't miss an opportunity to get rid of them.

EDIT: Another facepalm... I just found one of my injured dwarves, yes, the one with the guts popped out.
She wasn't in the hospital. She's crawling along planting fields, with intestines trailing along behind her.
My medic dwarves really aren't doing their jobs well... *facepalm*
Actually, I've had a simmilar bug.  I think Toady probably put it in so that dwarves stop becoming invalids, and just go back to work if they don't get treatment after a while.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on November 08, 2010, 07:04:55 pm
Quote from: Yoink on November 08, 2010, 05:12:47 pm
Well... They're both types of pet, right? :P
Musta followed your workers up there, who didn't miss an opportunity to get rid of them.

EDIT: Another facepalm... I just found one of my injured dwarves, yes, the one with the guts popped out.
She wasn't in the hospital. She's crawling along planting fields, with intestines trailing along behind her.
My medic dwarves really aren't doing their jobs well... *facepalm*

My expedition leader got kicked by a wild horse a few years ago, and has been running around ever since with bones sticking out of his arm like nothing is wrong.  He was infected for a while, but that went away.  I'm not sure if I should put him on military duty in the hopes he gets slightly more hurt and actually fixed, or if I should hide him away.

Also, it seems that nobody's wounds heal, though that could just be nervous wounds that don't heal.  Hmmm.

Edit: no, it seems to be that almost none of the wounds are healing.  I wonder why.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on November 08, 2010, 11:05:58 pm
Yeah, I had similar problems getting dwarves to be treated...

For some reason 20 or so of my dwarves (most of them children and their parents) caught the world's worse case of athlete's foot.  All of them had rotting feet.  At first, they were ticking off all my other dwarves with their miasma spewing feet. I spent a whole bunch of time trying to find the dead bodies in the miasma clouds.  Only to realize later the miasma was coming from living dwarves.  (facepalm one)

Then they walked around and eventually they stopped spewing miasma and started dying of blood loss. Then and only then did they decide to go to the doctors in the hospital.  And the doctors ignored them until they all died. (facepalm two)

Well, sort of.  One dwarf got operated on, but only because he had something else wrong with him.  He returned perfectly fine, but according to his description he had no fat left on his feet. So I interpreted this as a dwarf walking around with skeletal feet.

I'm not exactly sure why any of this happened. It seemed to be an isolated mostly to a single family (which I realized had a lot of kids).  Though I had other things to be worried about, like the tantrum spiral caused by the combination of their stinky feet (miasma they had spread) and their deaths caused.  Luckily, I had a legendary dining room.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mnjiman on November 09, 2010, 12:22:08 am
@EmeraldWind, it sounds like you had a forgotten beast who had deadly acid dust. These type of attacks leave a mist that spreads in your fortress, slowly eating away at your poor dwarfs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadowzfire on November 09, 2010, 08:22:39 am
In one of my forts I've still kept a previous save file to a few months before this monstrous thing happened, I guess it was inevitable considering the cruel things I had done.
I started this fortress like any other, when i got migrants I had this peasant who was so similar to Hitler in his preferences I named him after him. There the bloodbath began, I proceeded with plan: make the entire world your enemy. I had about 1000+ food with 18 people, and merchants came, dwarven merchants, here's where my hell began. They sought trade with me, however my dwarves would refuse to go to the trade depot although i had 2 idlers (actually on break) therefore I commenced Stage one of making an enemy of the entire world; I started blocking off access to the Trade Depot with floodgates, the dwarven merchants still being in there, eventually they died of thirst. The next time dwarven merchants came was probably the last. I left them in there, thinking all the stark raving mad ones had died I proceeded to unblock the floodgates, I was so wrong... so wrong.. One still quiet alive merchant came out, stark raving mad of course, his military instantly ran away, him with one leg started brutally murdering dwarven babies in my stockpile area. Tantrum spiral. Dwarves had made an arena out of my stockpile. Gladiator arena. Two dwarves survived the mess, a miner and a carpenter. Abandon Fortress.
Much facepalm here. Yes, I felt horrible for letting dwarves die.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uzu Bash on November 09, 2010, 09:38:23 am
What should I do with all this lead, hm? Make bins with it, I guess, I could always use some more of those.

They wha...weight 170 lbs empty? Oh damn *facepalm*

and how many did I make? Over 100?!? *sinking, shaking facepalm*

And they're scattered in stockpiles all over?!? *steepled two-handed facepalm and Big Noooo!*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beardless on November 09, 2010, 12:52:25 pm
Quote from: shadowzfire on November 09, 2010, 08:22:39 am
In one of my forts I've still kept a previous save file to a few months before this monstrous thing happened, I guess it was inevitable considering the cruel things I had done.
I started this fortress like any other, when i got migrants I had this peasant who was so similar to Hitler in his preferences I named him after him. There the bloodbath began, I proceeded with plan: make the entire world your enemy. I had about 1000+ food with 18 people, and merchants came, dwarven merchants, here's where my hell began. They sought trade with me, however my dwarves would refuse to go to the trade depot although i had 2 idlers (actually on break) therefore I commenced Stage one of making an enemy of the entire world; I started blocking off access to the Trade Depot with floodgates, the dwarven merchants still being in there, eventually they died of thirst. The next time dwarven merchants came was probably the last. I left them in there, thinking all the stark raving mad ones had died I proceeded to unblock the floodgates, I was so wrong... so wrong.. One still quiet alive merchant came out, stark raving mad of course, his military instantly ran away, him with one leg started brutally murdering dwarven babies in my stockpile area. Tantrum spiral. Dwarves had made an arena out of my stockpile. Gladiator arena. Two dwarves survived the mess, a miner and a carpenter. Abandon Fortress.
Much facepalm here. Yes, I felt horrible for letting dwarves die.

I must be acclimating to the horror that is the in-game world of DF because my only reaction to that tale was, "You can stockpile babies? What settings would I need for that?"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thiickshake on November 09, 2010, 11:20:09 pm
74 lvl's of pump stacks one, ONE!!! pipe was made of wood "facepalm"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadowzfire on November 10, 2010, 01:58:25 am
More like the baby was in my stockpile playing around... and then she died... then the world went round and round.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lazygnome on November 10, 2010, 11:21:59 am
Start the game for the first time, see the menu, create a world, start looking for an embark point.
This embark map is small... let's try to maximize the window... no change.  Okay.  Put it back so there's not all this annoying black space.

An entire week of playing a 4x4 fortress at the default window size, until I accidentally click Maximize instead of Minimize.

Also: resizing farm plots, setting bookkeeper accuracy, enabling labors, and thinking I didn't really need stockpiles for my stuff (the wagon can hold all of it)... until a horde of vultures stole half of my food.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hinasas on November 10, 2010, 04:01:28 pm
realizing that the dwarves would automatically claim bedrooms and that i didn't have to manually assign each dwarf their own room...

/facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on November 10, 2010, 05:32:13 pm
Quote from: Hinasas on November 10, 2010, 04:01:28 pm
realizing that the dwarves would automatically claim bedrooms and that i didn't have to manually assign each dwarf their own room...

/facepalm

Wait, what?

FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skald on November 10, 2010, 05:43:48 pm
Quote from: Samuel on November 10, 2010, 05:32:13 pm
Quote from: Hinasas on November 10, 2010, 04:01:28 pm
realizing that the dwarves would automatically claim bedrooms and that i didn't have to manually assign each dwarf their own room...

/facepalm

Wait, what?

FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU...

Yeah, I found that out just recently too.

Nothing like finding out that 400 or so bedrooms didn't need me to manually assign them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Personal Face palm Moment: Repeatedly drowning my miners while digging out wells and cisterns. I'm talking losing about 20 or so legendary miners, just because I didn't want to channel.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: schussel on November 10, 2010, 06:31:28 pm
Quote from: Skald on November 10, 2010, 05:43:48 pm
Quote from: Samuel on November 10, 2010, 05:32:13 pm
Quote from: Hinasas on November 10, 2010, 04:01:28 pm
realizing that the dwarves would automatically claim bedrooms and that i didn't have to manually assign each dwarf their own room...

/facepalm

Wait, what?

FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU...

Yeah, I found that out just recently too.

Nothing like finding out that 400 or so bedrooms didn't need me to manually assign them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Personal Face palm Moment: Repeatedly drowning my miners while digging out wells and cisterns. I'm talking losing about 20 or so legendary miners, just because I didn't want to channel.

well .. a own bedroom is a positive thought while having none makes em not very happy ... and more often sleep on the ground
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tagg on November 10, 2010, 10:07:16 pm
Quote from: schussel on November 10, 2010, 06:31:28 pm
Quote from: Skald on November 10, 2010, 05:43:48 pm
Quote from: Samuel on November 10, 2010, 05:32:13 pm
Quote from: Hinasas on November 10, 2010, 04:01:28 pm
realizing that the dwarves would automatically claim bedrooms and that i didn't have to manually assign each dwarf their own room...

/facepalm

Wait, what?

FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU...

Yeah, I found that out just recently too.

Nothing like finding out that 400 or so bedrooms didn't need me to manually assign them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Personal Face palm Moment: Repeatedly drowning my miners while digging out wells and cisterns. I'm talking losing about 20 or so legendary miners, just because I didn't want to channel.

well .. a own bedroom is a positive thought while having none makes em not very happy ... and more often sleep on the ground
No, it's not like that, they'll sleep in the bedroom and claim it themselves. All you need to do is designate it as a bedroom and they'll take ownership on their own.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on November 11, 2010, 01:21:05 am
Quote from: tagg on November 10, 2010, 10:07:16 pm
Quote from: schussel on November 10, 2010, 06:31:28 pm
Quote from: Skald on November 10, 2010, 05:43:48 pm
Quote from: Samuel on November 10, 2010, 05:32:13 pm
Quote from: Hinasas on November 10, 2010, 04:01:28 pm
realizing that the dwarves would automatically claim bedrooms and that i didn't have to manually assign each dwarf their own room...

/facepalm

Wait, what?

FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU...

Yeah, I found that out just recently too.

Nothing like finding out that 400 or so bedrooms didn't need me to manually assign them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Personal Face palm Moment: Repeatedly drowning my miners while digging out wells and cisterns. I'm talking losing about 20 or so legendary miners, just because I didn't want to channel.

well .. a own bedroom is a positive thought while having none makes em not very happy ... and more often sleep on the ground
No, it's not like that, they'll sleep in the bedroom and claim it themselves. All you need to do is designate it as a bedroom and they'll take ownership on their own.

I always assigned them rooms manually the very moment the bed was constructed because overpopulation is such a constant problem. I'm just trying to get some work shops built and these migrants are coming faster than I can get their little bedrooms closets 1-tile cubby holes dug out and...

FFFFUUUUUUUUU
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on November 11, 2010, 09:19:15 am
Quote from: Samuel on November 11, 2010, 01:21:05 am
Quote from: tagg on November 10, 2010, 10:07:16 pm
Quote from: schussel on November 10, 2010, 06:31:28 pm
Quote from: Skald on November 10, 2010, 05:43:48 pm
Quote from: Samuel on November 10, 2010, 05:32:13 pm
Quote from: Hinasas on November 10, 2010, 04:01:28 pm
realizing that the dwarves would automatically claim bedrooms and that i didn't have to manually assign each dwarf their own room...

/facepalm

Wait, what?

FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU...

Yeah, I found that out just recently too.

Nothing like finding out that 400 or so bedrooms didn't need me to manually assign them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Personal Face palm Moment: Repeatedly drowning my miners while digging out wells and cisterns. I'm talking losing about 20 or so legendary miners, just because I didn't want to channel.

well .. a own bedroom is a positive thought while having none makes em not very happy ... and more often sleep on the ground
No, it's not like that, they'll sleep in the bedroom and claim it themselves. All you need to do is designate it as a bedroom and they'll take ownership on their own.

I always assigned them rooms manually the very moment the bed was constructed because overpopulation is such a constant problem. I'm just trying to get some work shops built and these migrants are coming faster than I can get their little bedrooms closets 1-tile cubby holes dug out and...

FFFFUUUUUUUUU

I am hereby humbly joining the chorus of FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hinasas on November 11, 2010, 09:50:59 am
Quote from: NewSheoth on November 11, 2010, 09:19:15 am
I am hereby humbly joining the chorus of FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--

sigged!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on November 11, 2010, 09:56:47 am
It's handy for large migrant waves, but it isn't THAT important.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Milk on November 11, 2010, 10:07:42 am
(http://img593.imageshack.us/img593/9071/dwarvenchild.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on November 11, 2010, 10:19:07 am
I just avoided a major facepalm by a hair's breadth.

Following my little act of Euthanasia, Giant Cave Spider style, I had to get the thing out of there without it causing harm to any of my healthy, non-paralyzed dwarves. Obviously the answer was constructing cage traps before removing the wall trapping it.

Tearing down the wall was most likely mere seconds from completion when I realized the traps weren't loaded with cages yet. I managed to remove the designation just in time, which is good, because that Spider has been trapped in a 3x3 room constantly filling up with Miasma, and he is probably pretty pissed at generally everybody at the moment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on November 11, 2010, 11:25:53 am
I'm processing adamantine for the very first time. I've finally learned what strand extraction is for. So I get a bunch of raw adamantine to my quantum stockpile, give my glassmaker the strand extraction task because my mayor, whom requested a crystal glass window in an entirely subterranian dining room can go screw himself, and watched as it all started happening...

Theeeeeeen my broker gets a fey mood.

Okay, he wasn't always a broker, I'm sure he has other skills that-

Yup, he claimed the Craftsdwarf's shop.

Why couldn't it happen to a more expendable dwarf? Why not one of the idiot migrants who've only ever accomplioshed anything as haulers? somebody I can punish for their brazen stupidity without having to appoint a new broker? Somebody I could introduce to my new, named Euthinasia Spider?

Update: Aaaaaaaaand he's using my raw adamantine. Okay, that's strike two. If I get a freaking earring out of this, I'm just appointing a new broker, and Savotzakgol will be eating well tonight.

Update #2: A bracelet. His ass is grass.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on November 11, 2010, 11:51:03 am
Hate to break it to you, but you probably could have simply forbidden the raw addy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on November 11, 2010, 11:55:01 am
be that as it may, I'm having a lot more fun with this than I'm implying.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on November 11, 2010, 03:25:56 pm
Quote from: Milk on November 11, 2010, 10:07:42 am
(http://img593.imageshack.us/img593/9071/dwarvenchild.jpg)

Is this dwarf child's name Helm Hammerhand by any chance?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: strongrudder on November 11, 2010, 03:45:55 pm
Facepalm - not on account of my own actions or even the dwarves'. This time, it's for the humans.

They just sent a seige because their idiot guild representative decided to sit on a !!seed barrel!! during trade negotiations. Exactly how that barrel managed to get set on fire, the world may never know...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tinker Thinker on November 12, 2010, 05:25:16 pm
So I had my first encounter with a forgotten beast today, a "body" and "tail" affair made of snow.

Those of you used to this probably already know where this is going. Anyway, I'd built an express route down to the magma sea so I could, y'know, use magma gear.

Anyway, this forgotten beast comes streaking out the cavern at a faster speed than I've ever seen /anything/ move, shoots up my express route and carves through six dwarves like ball lightning, while my military are still trading out their weapons.

They finally get ready to come and face it. . .and the monster evaporated.

So I got no reward, except a culling of peons, but now half my fortress is feeling upset because my founding miner (legendary for happening to spot adamantine) was killed in the attack.

Edit: On further examination, it would appear that it was in fact evaporated by being kicked by a horse.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NobodyPro on November 12, 2010, 07:17:44 pm
When a large portion of the fort's population died of thirst during winter because I had forgotten to brew beer while I still had brewable items. The river was frozen, the moat was frozen, even the flood chamber storage was frozen and all my beer was gone! This was after a spring fores fire and during a tantrum spiral. Just before the downfall of the fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on November 13, 2010, 01:30:24 am
In a final update to the above, he and everybody in that fortress is now dead. The circus was in town.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tinker Thinker on November 13, 2010, 09:47:14 am
To tell the truth, I'm starting to enjoy this fortress. Why? Because I have opened up routes to at least three underground cavern systems and exactly none of them have any security whatsoever. It's quite a challenge.

The Snow Beast was the first time it came back to bite me, the second time was a Cave Crocodile, which has so far been the only one to actually injure a soldier, who is currently laid up in the hospital with a massive jagged scar on their left upper thigh, and is already fast on the road to recovery. Mainly, I forgot to make metal pants for my soldiers to wear.

Actually, the crocodile was !!!Fun!!! because none of my soldiers decided to go and get their real weapons on the way to fighting it, so it took forever to beat it to death, and of course the croc went up the only route to my well, so that my thirsty injured soldier could not receive water. The croc suffocated on its own injuries shortly after my soldiers finally decided to abandon their task (I'd told them to stop in the hopes they'd go arm themselves properly).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Richards on November 13, 2010, 07:07:24 pm
Quote from: Milk on November 11, 2010, 10:07:42 am
(http://img593.imageshack.us/img593/9071/dwarvenchild.jpg)

Where can I find this graphics set?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on November 13, 2010, 08:00:27 pm
Quote from: Richards on November 13, 2010, 07:07:24 pm
Quote from: Milk on November 11, 2010, 10:07:42 am
(http://img593.imageshack.us/img593/9071/dwarvenchild.jpg)

Where can I find this graphics set?

I think that's just with TrueType turned on.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on November 13, 2010, 08:10:19 pm
Playing in adventure mode while testing out an adventurer reactions mod.  I get ambushed my a grass assassin, a large modded preying mantis like critter.

I fight the beast and finally kill it.  Then on the last strike I realized why it was taking so long to kill.  I wasn't using my sword, I was using a +schist carving knife+.

Facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MacMahoon on November 14, 2010, 01:27:19 am
Designating a corridor be dug and not paying any attention. (luckily) my legendary miner got to it first and I found that one of my adamantine strands is solid for at least 9 z levels.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on November 14, 2010, 04:17:59 am
Quote from: FuzzyDoom on November 13, 2010, 08:00:27 pm
Quote from: Richards on November 13, 2010, 07:07:24 pm
Quote from: Milk on November 11, 2010, 10:07:42 am
(http://img593.imageshack.us/img593/9071/dwarvenchild.jpg)

Where can I find this graphics set?

I think that's just with TrueType turned on.
Can't be. The tiles in the border don't exist in the default tiles.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on November 14, 2010, 09:09:25 am
I recently lost 8 dwarves to thirst. It was the middle of winter and the lakes were frozen. I couldn't make any booze because all of the barrels were filled with food.

Every time I made one the idiots would immediately grab it and fill it with food.

I had to dig down to the caverns to get them water.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on November 14, 2010, 09:26:19 am
A Goblin ambush just arrived, minutes after a previous one. Most of my surviving military is in hospital, so I decided I'd just have to lock the doors and wait it out, sacrificing the lives of the dwarves still outside, if need be. I managed to lock one, but, to my sheer amazement, A dwarf then opened the other and just... stood there. He wanted to see the goblins apparently, and he got his wish. Now the door is jammed with his corpse and the goblins are flooding in.  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naes Draw on November 14, 2010, 09:56:22 am
Round two of my water provision adventures. I had made an exploratory shaft to see how many layers of sand before I got to rock, then started digging out a basic room. Then remembered that I wanted a channel across my entrance and in so I could put my well there.

Placed my channel designation OVER the down stair.

I now have a large room full of water. Praise the miners!

However, my non DF playing little sister suggested a aquatic rehab, so hey! Not a complete loss. Just have to get my beds made and gather food so I can work on pumps and stuff.

Oh, crap. FP part two. That save got trashed when I was fixing my busted raws.

 ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: skaltum on November 14, 2010, 11:08:16 am
trying to run away from
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
in adv mode.

and accidentally breaking into an ocean through the bottem of my fort thinking i could handle the insane water pressure, 54 dwarfs, drowned almost instantly, and another 20 starved to death from being locked in they're rooms because the water was outside their door.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on November 14, 2010, 02:00:16 pm
Quote from: Samuel on November 14, 2010, 09:09:25 am
I recently lost 8 dwarves to thirst. It was the middle of winter and the lakes were frozen. I couldn't make any booze because all of the barrels were filled with food.

Every time I made one the idiots would immediately grab it and fill it with food.

For future reference: create a separate stockpile just for booze, and set the level of "barrels permitted" in the other food stockpiles to zero.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on November 14, 2010, 02:17:07 pm
Quote from: geoduck on November 14, 2010, 02:00:16 pm
Quote from: Samuel on November 14, 2010, 09:09:25 am
I recently lost 8 dwarves to thirst. It was the middle of winter and the lakes were frozen. I couldn't make any booze because all of the barrels were filled with food.

Every time I made one the idiots would immediately grab it and fill it with food.

For future reference: create a separate stockpile just for booze, and set the level of "barrels permitted" in the other food stockpiles to zero.

Everytime I try to customize stockpiles, the dwarves won't put anything into them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tastypaste on November 14, 2010, 02:51:10 pm
I embarked on a map which I assumed must be frozen all year round. I based this assumption on basically nothing. Then I began digging into the frozen underground river to harvest ice blocks. You all know what happened next. That fort didn't last long.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ipwnurmom221 on November 14, 2010, 03:30:27 pm
I dug into the ocean and forgot to seal it off. My fort encountered lots of Fun!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Orkel on November 14, 2010, 03:36:06 pm
Quote from: Samuel on November 14, 2010, 09:26:19 am
A Goblin ambush just arrived, minutes after a previous one. Most of my surviving military is in hospital, so I decided I'd just have to lock the doors and wait it out, sacrificing the lives of the dwarves still outside, if need be. I managed to lock one, but, to my sheer amazement, A dwarf then opened the other and just... stood there. He wanted to see the goblins apparently, and he got his wish. Now the door is jammed with his corpse and the goblins are flooding in.  ::)

And that is why you should have two or even three lines of doors at regular intervals.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bremarv on November 14, 2010, 03:44:46 pm
My best soilder just decided to fight the goblins while standing on the only bridge over the water. By now I would actually have been surprised if he did not. As normal he soon dodged into the water. For once I decided to actually try a rescue since there was only 5 soil tiles between my storage area and the soilder. The miners for some reason decided to priorities the rescue and the dwarf got out of the river with just a scare. all is good so far.

but now all my dwarves rush in to the slowly flooding storage area to put the booze the water is pushing around back into the storage area. *facepalm*
and the dwarf building the wall insist on working from the left side where he walls himself in if he succed (*facepalm*), but its never bellow 3/7 so he is always pushed away and I can't do the suspend trick *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Oglokoog on November 14, 2010, 04:05:54 pm
Quote from: Milk on November 11, 2010, 10:07:42 am
(http://img593.imageshack.us/img593/9071/dwarvenchild.jpg)
BADASS
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on November 14, 2010, 04:16:44 pm
If that kid reaches adulthood, train him into a supersoldier. He's got potential. Too much potential to be lost in a flooding accident.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naes Draw on November 14, 2010, 04:46:58 pm
Better yet, do they gain skill as a child? At least basic stats? If so, Spartans anyone? Give him simple fights in a arena setup and level the sucker up. You could pick out a handful that show promise and train them together as an elite squad.

And if treading water still builds strength, then you could include that too.

I might have to try this...  :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wastedlabor on November 14, 2010, 05:22:29 pm
I've just seen a ninja dwarven liaison dodge several bolts, cross in front of a dumbfounded goblin squad that somehow ignored him as he moved through the dense forest a few tiles from them, run away from the only axeman that chased him and plunge literally through a squad of goblin spearmen to reach the border receiving only one hit. :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naes Draw on November 14, 2010, 05:31:14 pm
Quote from: Wastedlabor on November 14, 2010, 05:22:29 pm
I've just seen a ninja dwarven liaison dodge several bolts, cross in front of a dumbfounded goblin squad that somehow ignored him as he moved through the dense forest a few tiles from them, run away from the only axeman that chased him and plunge literally through a squad of goblin spearmen to reach the border without receiving one hit. :o

One of mine met a brown bear on top of the outdoor housing and ripped it to bits. Blood everywhere.  :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on November 14, 2010, 05:52:48 pm
Quote from: Wastedlabor on November 14, 2010, 05:22:29 pm
I've just seen a ninja dwarven liaison dodge several bolts, cross in front of a dumbfounded goblin squad that somehow ignored him as he moved through the dense forest a few tiles from them, run away from the only axeman that chased him and plunge literally through a squad of goblin spearmen to reach the border receiving only one hit. :o
How exactly does this make you facepalm?
This is awesome.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on November 14, 2010, 06:13:22 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on November 14, 2010, 05:52:48 pm
Quote from: Wastedlabor on November 14, 2010, 05:22:29 pm
I've just seen a ninja dwarven liaison dodge several bolts, cross in front of a dumbfounded goblin squad that somehow ignored him as he moved through the dense forest a few tiles from them, run away from the only axeman that chased him and plunge literally through a squad of goblin spearmen to reach the border receiving only one hit. :o
How exactly does this make you facepalm?
This is awesome.

Seconded. Could make you facepalm on the goblins' part, but why would you do that?
Liaisons can be pretty awesome at times.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beardless on November 14, 2010, 07:42:21 pm
Quote from: NewSheoth on November 14, 2010, 06:13:22 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on November 14, 2010, 05:52:48 pm
Quote from: Wastedlabor on November 14, 2010, 05:22:29 pm
I've just seen a ninja dwarven liaison dodge several bolts, cross in front of a dumbfounded goblin squad that somehow ignored him as he moved through the dense forest a few tiles from them, run away from the only axeman that chased him and plunge literally through a squad of goblin spearmen to reach the border receiving only one hit. :o
How exactly does this make you facepalm?
This is awesome.

Seconded. Could make you facepalm on the goblins' part, but why would you do that?
Liaisons can be pretty awesome at times.

I think I've got it. He didn't say where the liason was hit, or with what.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zwei on November 15, 2010, 05:13:22 am
Yesterday:

First fort ever to reach 200 dwarves (usually having popa cap of 100). Legendary dining room, masterpiece meals, etc ...

Panda twisted to humanoid form came. Beware its poisonous vapors!

Whole military was sent to dispatch this beast. 8 squards of 10 dwarves. They swarmed it and slaughtered it easily.

But within few months, participants of battle started to suffocate. Pet cats, Pet dogs too. Cue in unstoppable tantrum spiral.

Apparently, Killing fogotten beast is just NOT enough to "solve fb problem". /facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McTaverish on November 15, 2010, 06:18:20 am
Quote from: zwei on November 15, 2010, 05:13:22 am
Yesterday:

First fort ever to reach 200 dwarves (usually having popa cap of 100). Legendary dining room, masterpiece meals, etc ...

Panda twisted to humanoid form came. Beware its poisonous vapors!

Whole military was sent to dispatch this beast. 8 squards of 10 dwarves. They swarmed it and slaughtered it easily.

But within few months, participants of battle started to suffocate. Pet cats, Pet dogs too. Cue in unstoppable tantrum spiral.

Apparently, Killing fogotten beast is just NOT enough to "solve fb problem". /facepalm.

You got a syndrome.  It starts in the initial infected then moves to smaller creatures like pet dogs and cats before moving to further dwarves.  If not for the tantrum spiral it's likely your whole fortress would have died due to the FB's vapors and resultant syndrome.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: celem on November 15, 2010, 08:43:53 am
I just had a similar event with a pair of 'beware its poisonous gas' fb's.

The first was a shrimp that I handled with marksdwarves, it gassed a few through the fortifications and I thought nothing of it.

Two of that squad turned up in the hospital a few months later and proceeded to burst into huge miasma clouds, no-one liked em much and this plague died out without too many tears.

The second was a chamelion that butchered a few melee types and goo'd all over everything, half my fort showed up to fetch the dead dwarves and waded through lakes of crap, it spread ridiculously around the fort while i installed decontamination showers at major intersections, contamination levels were too great so i ordered all dwarves out into the rain with a burrow while i diverted the river through my fort into the caverns to flush the place out, the sick were left to drown in the hospital.

Cue seige....

Thats all she wrote
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: K17U on November 15, 2010, 02:37:45 pm
"Aquifer" is actually another word for "huge drowning trap that spans an entire Z-Level".

Right now I'm being haunted by three miners who either drowned or died from cave-ins.
On the plus side, I get to see ghosties.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tinker Thinker on November 15, 2010, 03:30:13 pm
So I decided to try out the adventure mode in my brand new .17 install (it's just some file merges, no big deal).

I get sent to kill Random Goblin McDouchenugget, and his merry band of iron-ore-in-waiting. I brought a random wrestler with me. I'm a human mauler. We get ambushed by our target, so we charge down the hillside to him and his swordsman buddy. I get them mixed up, because I forget about the shiny, and I beat the swordsman to death, and I notice the wrestler is battling the main guy who has fallen into a pit. I decided to see if I can take him out. My adventurer decides to do simultaneously the most awesome and moronic thing ever, she does a flying leap into the pit and bashes his head into a pulp on impact. But now she's trapped in the pit. No big deal, right? Wrong, there's one goblin in reserve, who comes up with a crossbow, shoots the wrassler to death, and then stands a few paces from the pit and expends his quiver in an attempt to kill me. He succeeds in tearing my ear. Instead of doing what I was expect, which is then charge me with his crossbow, he just stands there and does nothing. I can't sleep, can't travel, he's not drowsy and I am. . . I give in to starvation.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dakk on November 15, 2010, 03:38:14 pm
I just figured out my new awesome .17 fortress is placed is such a steep cliff that the wagons will not be able to reach my depot. I just have to build a ramp from the ground up to the fortress entrance, but when I found it was already time for the first caravan to arrive, and I'm going to lose it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SmileyMan on November 15, 2010, 04:09:42 pm
Ah!

Tried the tactic of sending a team of seven miners to dig out a shell of a fortress, until starving to death, then sending in a reclaim team afterwards.  This used to work quite well.

Now, there are ghosts everywhere!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Oglokoog on November 15, 2010, 05:44:20 pm
Ghosts! Interesting.
Can't wait for 31.18. Unfortunately, I can't use .17 because weapon traps crash the game :/
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: proxn_punkd on November 15, 2010, 09:10:15 pm
Finally got around to removing all the EXOTIC tags from the critter raws and taming all the weird wild things I'd caught, to make handling and butchering them easier.

Then I got a Stray Giant Cave Spider (Tame) and now I have nothing hostile/wild to feed it for a silk farm.

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ethereal.Frog on November 15, 2010, 09:23:28 pm
During the starting of my new fort, I accidentally both of my miners and their picks into the bottom of the volcano.

Welp.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ext0l on November 16, 2010, 12:21:37 am
Quote from: Ethereal.Frog on November 15, 2010, 09:23:28 pm
During the starting of my new fort, I accidentally both of my miners and their picks into the bottom of the volcano.

Welp.

How did you manage that??? :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kyphie on November 16, 2010, 02:45:35 am
Quote from: Ethereal.Frog on November 15, 2010, 09:23:28 pm
I accidentally both of my miners and their picks

During maybe my second fort I was finally starting to feel comfortable with the interface and tried my very first aesthetic construction, a drawbridge over a moat that was several Z levels down.

Both miners simultaneously trigger collapses on either side from standing on their last tiles, trapping their gear and corpses in the already sealed chamber.

Very first dwarven deaths, and an important lesson about working top-down learned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wolfhound on November 16, 2010, 04:22:36 am
"Urist McSmith, Armorer, has been possessed!"

Ok, not exactly a facepalm moment, more like "I hate you, Armok" thing, because so far I had 9 strange moods in my latest fortress. 7 of them were possessions. :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gr33kjester on November 16, 2010, 08:59:01 am
In 31.17, my LEGENDARY carpenter decided to have ANOTHER fey mood ::)
Anyway, the guy DEMANDED cut gems, sapphire I think, yet I cut ALL MY F*CKING SAPPHIRE AND ENCRUSTED IT!!!!
-Facepalm-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haspen on November 16, 2010, 09:06:34 am
Quote from: Wolfhound on November 16, 2010, 04:22:36 am
"Urist McSmith, Armorer, has been possessed!"

Ok, not exactly a facepalm moment, more like "I hate you, Armok" thing, because so far I had 9 strange moods in my latest fortress. 7 of them were possessions. :'(

He visited your dwarves 7 times to help you change your attitude to him but nooo, you still hate him.

Next one is going to be possession too :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MagmaMcFry on November 16, 2010, 11:00:14 am
Quote from: Haspen on November 16, 2010, 09:06:34 am
Quote from: Wolfhound on November 16, 2010, 04:22:36 am
"Urist McSmith, Armorer, has been possessed!"

Ok, not exactly a facepalm moment, more like "I hate you, Armok" thing, because so far I had 9 strange moods in my latest fortress. 7 of them were possessions. :'(

He visited your dwarves 7 times to help you change your attitude to him but nooo, you still hate him.

Next one is going to be possession too :P

Why a posession? Why not a goblin siege or two dozen?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on November 16, 2010, 01:22:43 pm
A llama just kicked a weaponsmith and killed her.
Wait, this is not the entire story.
A llama kicked a weaponsmith into the goddamn river, breaking one of her leg. She wasn't even stunned or anything, and there was a ramp 2 tiles away, but she still drowned.
It's been a long time I haven't dealt with friggin' llamas. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on November 16, 2010, 02:01:53 pm
My expedition leader likes cave fish men... for ther beauty?

Eye of the beholder, I guess.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on November 16, 2010, 02:08:13 pm
Quote from: Samuel on November 16, 2010, 02:01:53 pm
My expedition leader likes cave fish men... for ther beauty?

Eye of the beholder, I guess.

Is your fort called Innsmouth by any chance?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on November 16, 2010, 04:07:05 pm
Quote from: NewSheoth on November 16, 2010, 02:08:13 pm
Quote from: Samuel on November 16, 2010, 02:01:53 pm
My expedition leader likes cave fish men... for ther beauty?

Eye of the beholder, I guess.

Is your fort called Innsmouth by any chance?

Iiiits beginning to look a lot like FISHmen (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tTHn2tHhcI).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on November 16, 2010, 05:20:20 pm
Quote from: Flaede on November 16, 2010, 04:07:05 pm
Quote from: NewSheoth on November 16, 2010, 02:08:13 pm
Quote from: Samuel on November 16, 2010, 02:01:53 pm
My expedition leader likes cave fish men... for ther beauty?

Eye of the beholder, I guess.

Is your fort called Innsmouth by any chance?

Iiiits beginning to look a lot like FISHmen (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tTHn2tHhcI).

Weirdly enough, early in the fortress's life, a small group of snail men wandered by and left without incident. It was the first time I've ever seen an [animal]-man race without breaching the caverns first.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GaxkangtheUnbound on November 16, 2010, 06:11:55 pm
Quote from: Samuel on November 16, 2010, 05:20:20 pm
Quote from: Flaede on November 16, 2010, 04:07:05 pm
Quote from: NewSheoth on November 16, 2010, 02:08:13 pm
Quote from: Samuel on November 16, 2010, 02:01:53 pm
-snip-
-snip-
-snip-
-snip-
I've seen many snail men and slug men. I've yet to find tiger men in fortress mode.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: celem on November 17, 2010, 06:40:20 am
Yeah i've seen snail, slug and tigermen in various spots.

My contribution to the fail parade.

Spent 3 hours setting up a trio of GCS to web across a line of cage traps for capturing FB's entering from the caverns.

Another 2 hours waiting for an FB.

Finally, he has come.  Giddy with anticipation I watch as he bee-lines for the cage corridor.
My expedition leader steps from behind a nearby rock pillar and sticks a masterwork dog bone bolt through his brain....I curse....apparently he's 'hunting'.

On the upside I now have a stack of 340 FB meat
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gr33kjester on November 17, 2010, 08:57:25 am
Just found out DF had an inbuilt recording system
-FACEPALM-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bordellimies on November 17, 2010, 02:16:10 pm
I used to dig/cut trees from/gather plants etc. from big areas, by pressing D --> T/P/M, and selecting the area.
It took ages to select the whole forest to be designated.

Then I learned you can use shift to move faster..
This also helped with me moving around looking for stuff, it took really long time to move from my base to some mountain where I had set up a mine.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MagmaMcFry on November 17, 2010, 02:43:04 pm
You know that you can use < and > to change z-levels, right? There's tons of rock directly under you.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on November 17, 2010, 03:04:32 pm
Quote from: Bordellimies on November 17, 2010, 02:16:10 pm
I used to dig/cut trees from/gather plants etc. from big areas, by pressing D --> T/P/M, and selecting the area.
It took ages to select the whole forest to be designated.

Then I learned you can use shift to move faster..
This also helped with me moving around looking for stuff, it took really long time to move from my base to some mountain where I had set up a mine.

You can also move the blinking X that is the designator with your mouse. Left click designates a tile for an action, right click moves the designator.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on November 18, 2010, 01:11:23 am
A fey mood? well, who-? My armourer!

Finally! finally I'll get a useful artifact! One I can proudfully boast about! One that will protect my dwarven soldier from the goblins that the artifact itself draws! Define a burrow! give him all the iron and gold bars! This is going to be great!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on November 18, 2010, 08:04:28 am
Hey, at leat you'lss have a safe foot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MagmaMcFry on November 18, 2010, 10:52:12 am
Started a new fortress in .31.18. Channeled a strip of soil away for my new gigantic arena of deathly death. My first miner was struck down by the falling wagon.
*facepalm*

Continued channeling downwards. Saw a piece of overhanging rock that should actually not be there. Thought "Wait, what? No, stop, STOP!".
Hit Space.
A millisecond too late to save my second miner.
*headdesk*

And I thought I had taken care of anything that could go wrong...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serio on November 18, 2010, 01:28:30 pm
Hushgranite is an isolationist fortress, with only very few dwarves being allowed inside.

But anyway, I imagined that at some point, I would need a tomb on the surface. I found a perfect spot, but it was blocked by a wall. No problem, I thought. I designated a dig site, and one of my dwarves went to work happily. One moment later; "A section of the cavern has collapsed!" Oh no, I thought and zoomed. Phew, no damage. I wonder where my miner has gone to, because he didn't die in the collapse. I go down a Z-Level and notice water is seeping into the bedrooms. A hole in the ceiling was created when the wall fell into the river. The worst part? The wall continued down another z-level, flooding the industrial area.

Just to make it all worse, the miner fell down into the industrial area. And survived. With bruises. Bruises!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uzu Bash on November 18, 2010, 02:56:46 pm
It was a good many years before I realized the mistake of making the finest well a meeting area.

In the most legendary and most central dining room.

Right next to the door to the largest residential area.

Also the quickest path to fully half of the fortress.

I thought I could rectify that by replacing the floor around it with grates.

*double-brow combo facepalm!*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Loyal on November 18, 2010, 03:12:22 pm
Quote from: Samuel on November 18, 2010, 01:11:23 am
A fey mood? well, who-? My armourer!

Finally! finally I'll get a useful artifact! One I can proudfully boast about! One that will protect my dwarven soldier from the goblins that the artifact itself draws! Define a burrow! give him all the iron and gold bars! This is going to be great!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I had a Bonecarver claim a workshop. I didn't have any bones handy, so I had to butcher some of my draft animals.

He claimed three stacks of bones, 52 in total. He could've made a throne to Armok or something with all that.

He made a weapon rack, worth 1200.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on November 18, 2010, 03:13:28 pm
My bone carver got possessed and made a bed out of one stack of dog bones, worth 1200 also. Damn, it must hurt to sleep on it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on November 18, 2010, 03:20:36 pm
I see your bones, and I raise you Unulkurol, The Dank Embraces.
It's a turtle shell mask. Nothing more. 840 dorfdollars.
I beat all of you.
The crafter must have cut two holes in a turtle shell for the eyes and called it a day.

However, I rather like it; I picture my overseer wearing it constantly for the sake of mystery and stuff.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Carcanken on November 18, 2010, 08:53:56 pm
I left my game on when I had to have dinner, thinking I had already paused it.
So I came back an hour later and I saw my last dwarf's head get stabbed by a goblin.
Yippe
/facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Illeist on November 18, 2010, 11:32:55 pm
Quote from: celem on November 17, 2010, 06:40:20 am
Yeah i've seen snail, slug and tigermen in various spots.

My contribution to the fail parade.

Spent 3 hours setting up a trio of GCS to web across a line of cage traps for capturing FB's entering from the caverns.

Another 2 hours waiting for an FB.

Finally, he has come.  Giddy with anticipation I watch as he bee-lines for the cage corridor.
My expedition leader steps from behind a nearby rock pillar and sticks a masterwork dog bone bolt through his brain....I curse....apparently he's 'hunting'.

On the upside I now have a stack of 340 FB meat

It's entirely possible that I'm missing something here... But aren't FBs immune to cages anyway?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nordak on November 18, 2010, 11:33:54 pm
I'm under siege by about 60 goblins, death items are forbidden, I have my dwarves behind fortifications firing at the enemy.  Next thing I know all of my dwarves are swarming out the doors, still unclear to the cuase... even the troops stationed by the cavern entrance have appeared at the front door on active duty...  not sure but I need to get the civies back inside before they all die and cuase a massive tantrum spiral that I'm sure that is coming....  all the civilians are labeled no job...  still face-palming from not knowing the cause of the loss of this stable fortress...

Now I'm really confused... fire is everywhere... !!Dwarves!! are going crazy....  The !!Science!! makes no sense...  Spontaneous  flames with no apparent source, brushfire... !!dwarves!! will all be dead soon, time to un pause and watch the massacre.

Good news:  lots of !!Goblins!!...

Edit: Enraged at all enemies... they basically came out for the cage traps and went enraged when they saw the trolls... and it was one of the most spectacular goblin massacres I've seen, the trolls took a while to put down... they just wouldn't bleed out...

The fire killed 15 dwarves, and 20 goblins.  the only survivor of the fire was one of my elite marksdwarves who killed 5 Ogres with a blunt crossbow only incurring a broken arm.  He'll get treatment if the tantrum spiral ever ends... I have 15 decent docters... they are currently throwing rocks at each other...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: proxn_punkd on November 19, 2010, 12:31:52 am
Quote from: Wolfhound on November 16, 2010, 04:22:36 am
"Urist McSmith, Armorer, has been possessed!"

Ok, not exactly a facepalm moment, more like "I hate you, Armok" thing, because so far I had 9 strange moods in my latest fortress. 7 of them were possessions. :'(

Yeah, I've had almost twenty moods, and maybe three of them weren't possessions. According to the wiki that might be influenced by playing style somehow...?

Also, somehow one of my engravers got a proper fey mood, made a stone piccolo... and got engraving EXP? WTF, Dorf Fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: strongrudder on November 19, 2010, 12:37:51 am
Quote from: Illeist on November 18, 2010, 11:32:55 pm
Quote from: celem on November 17, 2010, 06:40:20 am
Yeah i've seen snail, slug and tigermen in various spots.

My contribution to the fail parade.

Spent 3 hours setting up a trio of GCS to web across a line of cage traps for capturing FB's entering from the caverns.

Another 2 hours waiting for an FB.

Finally, he has come.  Giddy with anticipation I watch as he bee-lines for the cage corridor.
My expedition leader steps from behind a nearby rock pillar and sticks a masterwork dog bone bolt through his brain....I curse....apparently he's 'hunting'.

On the upside I now have a stack of 340 FB meat

It's entirely possible that I'm missing something here... But aren't FBs immune to cages anyway?
Emphasis (red) mine. I do believe that when things run into webs, it makes them vulnerable to traps the way unconsciousness does.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: duckInferno on November 19, 2010, 12:45:17 am
I'm about four years into my current fort.  I just recently had an elven caravan arrive... my first caravan.  Wot?  Elves?  I always figured dwarves always arrived first, then the other races 'unlocked' for subsequent years.  Then it hit me that it was a rather long time to wait for a caravan to arrive.

Sure enough:

(http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/2002/dwarfless.png)

[SON_OF_A_BITCH]

Yeah, no goblins or humans, either... but I'm sure I saw them on embark.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on November 19, 2010, 12:48:03 am
What graphics pack are you guys all playing with? I'm really digging the above font.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: duckInferno on November 19, 2010, 12:50:02 am
Quote from: MaximumZero on November 19, 2010, 12:48:03 am
What graphics pack are you guys all playing with? I'm really digging the above font.
Pheob's, with truetype turned on.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on November 19, 2010, 12:56:42 am
Schweet. Thanks for the info.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skald on November 20, 2010, 04:16:45 pm
Spend a good half hour setting up a tunnel system to bring water to my farming grounds.

Set up a flood gate, hooked it to a lever, pulled the lever. Designated last space of dirt to be mined, flooding the farmlands.

Forgot that I pulled the switch, come to the farmlands a few minutes later to see that its full of water. Over 200 spaces, full, of water.
6 Layers underground.

Goddamnit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: proxn_punkd on November 21, 2010, 01:24:19 am
I put a fishing point in the cavern as soon as I breached it. My fisherdorfs periodically go down there, then report to me that there are no fish. One has made Legendary by doing this.

This evening, I looked at the surface river in my territory, preparing to use it to flood a new underground plot for a farm and then drain the water into a reservoir for a hospital well.

The river has fish.

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lollius on November 21, 2010, 04:32:48 am
finding out theres a new version while rebuilding moria(after it was overrun by orks,that is)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: celem on November 21, 2010, 06:10:37 am
Quote from: strongrudder on November 19, 2010, 12:37:51 am
Quote from: Illeist on November 18, 2010, 11:32:55 pm
Quote from: celem on November 17, 2010, 06:40:20 am



Spent 3 hours setting up a trio of GCS to web across a line of cage traps for capturing FB's entering from the caverns.

It's entirely possible that I'm missing something here... But aren't FBs immune to cages anyway?
Emphasis (red) mine. I do believe that when things run into webs, it makes them vulnerable to traps the way unconsciousness does.

^^This.

I have since gotten this to work correctly, the (retractable) bridge into my fort is now lined with 4 cages, each containing a 'Fun surprise' for seiges that make it that far.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on November 21, 2010, 09:56:27 am
I'm one of those oddballs that relies mostly on my military to handle attacks.  I do have a line of weapon traps, but I avoid making them overly high quality, and it's only one weapon in each.  Not enough to repel, or even significantly weaken in invasion, but enough to repel the odd monkey or two.

Ever since .31 came out my crossbow squad has been significantly weaker than the previous versions.  No matter what I did only a few of them would fire their crossbows.  Either because not all of them would have the sence to stand where they can actually shoot anything, or when they did shoot they would run out of ammo and not want to go get more.  They were under 's' menu move to station orders.

I just recently discovered that when under a burrow defence assignment if one crossbowman can shoot an enemy the entire squad will immediately move to a position within their burrow that allows them to shoot it too.  And not only that, if there is an ammo stockpile within the burrow they will actually reload their quivers when needed.

My single squad of crossbowmen, that previously could barely stop an ambush squad, just repelled an entire siege by themselves...Using wooden bolts.

And here I thought I had the military system all figured out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on November 21, 2010, 11:00:43 am
Brilliant discovery.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zidane on November 21, 2010, 02:38:02 pm
Quote from: Lord Shonus on November 21, 2010, 11:00:43 am
Brilliant discovery.

I... I think I might use crossbowdorfs now!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MonkeyHead on November 21, 2010, 04:40:02 pm
i just managed to flood my current fort with the genuis method of not checking what was below my hospital well. i cut a channel and  proceeded to fill it with a floodgate water lock... only to wonder why by the 4th or 5th load the 2x2 chamber feeding my well was dry. much to my amusement it had filled my masons workshop, which i discovered just as my mason and 4 haulers on door fitting duty died... of course the first door they fitted was the one that trapped the water drowning them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrNuke on November 21, 2010, 07:26:54 pm
My most epic facepalm yet.

Having a skelatal horse come along and rock up by the entrance of the fort. So i thought, "why not get my military to kill it?". It  slaughtered my 2 military squads, armed in full iron by kicking them in the face. By the time it killed my military, it moved into my fortress. I thought it would be fun to whatch the horse get slaughtered by steel weapon traps, but that turned out to be FUN.

When i thought it could be over by a cage trap, messages came up saying "Urist McMechanic cancels load cage trap, need empty cage". I had a whole line of cage traps, but due to a recent goblin ambush, they were all used up, and my idiot self forgot to make more. My last defence was to draft my 72 remaining dwarves to the military, and tell them all to wrestle it to death! One by one, this FRIGEN HORSE killed them all. And those that crawled themselves to the hospital were the last to survive. The horse eventually rocked up in there, and killed the wounded sleeping in the beds.

The panic, the bloodshed, the tantrums, the !!FUN!!. So, are horses overpowered?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on November 21, 2010, 10:45:43 pm
So, I found a really good embark spot, heavily forested with plenty of foliage, some interesting looking cliffs, a river, flux, lots of visible metal, everything but a volcano (which is fine by me.) I spent the time trying to determine which of my favorite five friends get to come with me (the wife is a no brainer,) what skills everyone would get, what equipment everyone would have, everyone's pets, etc, etc. So, I attempted to get my metal industry started...

and I forgot the anvil. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Captain Insano on November 22, 2010, 12:35:48 am
So I had to register to respond to this.

I just came across something... Rather strange.

(http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp34/Crusader6011/DamnDorfs.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wolfhound on November 22, 2010, 08:15:32 am
I was building a large stone piston to transport magma from the sea up about 120 z-levels to my fort.
There were caverns in the way so I made one piston that went from below the 2nd cavern to the sea, bypassing the 3rd cavern.

Next I started to build the 2nd piston that should bypass the 2nd caver. (The 1st one was directly below my fort so I decided to use pumps for the last few z-levels).

Facepalm nr. 1 came when I found out that the supposedly free chunk of undiscovered space contained hidden part of the cavern system.
Facepalm nr. 2 came when I realized that I carved the magma reservoir for the 2nd piston so bad that the piston cave-in would not only fall to the reservoir, displacing magma up, but it would break throug the reservoir floor into the 3rd layer of caverns that were directly below...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on November 22, 2010, 08:26:50 am
Nobody will give water to the dehydrated patients, among which an axedwarf who only has a broken arm. I have no idea what is it exactly that everyone is doing with the goddamned buckets. *facepalms*

EDIT:
OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE
the burrow was somehow still in application despite having disabled the alert. Had to delete it to allow everyone to move.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Orkel on November 22, 2010, 10:15:31 am
My bone carver got stabbed in the lung, and while he was walking to the hospital it healed and he went "o nevermind" and went off to work.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Knarfle on November 22, 2010, 04:44:26 pm
(http://i658.photobucket.com/albums/uu301/Knarfle/Dwarf%20Fortress/BadTiming.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on November 22, 2010, 05:22:21 pm
Quote from: Knarfle on November 22, 2010, 04:44:26 pm
[/snip]
That's what I call a frontstab.
"You got blood on my tunic."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GaxkangtheUnbound on November 22, 2010, 05:39:10 pm
Quote from: Knarfle on November 22, 2010, 04:44:26 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Looks like the broker. . .
 8)
. . .made the deal of his life.
YEEEEAAAHHH!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: proxn_punkd on November 22, 2010, 05:50:57 pm
Quote from: MrNuke on November 21, 2010, 07:26:54 pm
The panic, the bloodshed, the tantrums, the !!FUN!!. So, are horses overpowered?

Horses are quite overpowered, undead even more so. So you've got twice the fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: atomicthumbs on November 22, 2010, 06:59:54 pm
Quote from: Knarfle on November 22, 2010, 04:44:26 pm
(http://i658.photobucket.com/albums/uu301/Knarfle/Dwarf%20Fortress/BadTiming.jpg)

What font is that, and does it have quality symbols?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: glopso on November 22, 2010, 09:19:53 pm
I designated the rectangle of land above my meeting area to be channeled. The dwarf digging it out dug it in the special inefficient way that dwarves just loooove to dig in, causing a cave-in. It killed two puppies and severely (actually it's fatal, since I have no thread, cloth, soap, or sources of unfrozen water. But I do have 30 bags of gypsum powder) injured a gem cutter dwarf, who was useless anyway since I wasn't finding too many gems.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on November 23, 2010, 01:05:21 am
Apparently, when you tell your military dwarves to use a spear, you need to specify that they shouldn't take a training spear into actual combat.

I figured, well, at least he managed to stop the kobold from getting off the map while the dwarves with actual weapons showed up.

So I got three dwarves wailing on the kobold, one with an iron pick, one with a steel short sword, and one with a wooden training spear.

Guess who get's the kill?

...I'm still giving him a proper weapon before he gets attached to the thing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kardwill on November 23, 2010, 03:59:01 am
Winter 258. A balista and my drawbridge have been destroyed, along with a patch of wood and a crossbowman, during a dragon incident. Dragon get caught in a anti-wolf, kitten-baited cage trap. I rebuild the bridge. End of story.

Not.

Spring 259. 60 goblin tourists mounted on giant rats and cave crocodiles come to visit my citadel, along with their 7 troll friends. I sound the alarm, send 2 crossbow squads in the barbacane, man the balistas, and order my civilians to close the front door drawbridge and the tradehouse drawbridge.

"Ouch, 3 crossbowmen down. This goblin marksman is lethal. OK, I'll order the others inside."
"Err, what are these goblins and crocodiles doing in the courtyard, cutting down my retreating crossbowmen? Why is the rest of the goblin/troll army making a beeline to my frontdoor? Ack, WHY IS THIS DRAWBRIDGE OPEN?

I forgot to link the new drawbridge to the lever.

A heroic counter attack by the rest of my military managed to push back the goblin onslaught, but the price was heavy.
- 8 killed (3 of which drowned in the moat during the fight to take back the drawbridge.)
- 12 wounded, clutering most beds in my hospital. I think most of them will die from infections, while my 8 members, full time medical team is busy plundering the corpses of the fallen soldiers.
- Water in the lower levels of the fortress (I tried to drain the moat into the cistern to get to the corpses of 3 fallen dwarves. They were drained into the cistern along with my chief medical dwarf who tried to plunder them. Their corpses are now festering in the water reserve. And the polluted water overflowed and spilled out of my wells.)

Polishedmirror's military has been crippled.
On the other hand, I'm proud of the little guys. They managed to push back those invaders without help (few traps, almost no warbeasts on site - the dog cages had not been linked to a lever either), and protected the fortress from the CF I caused. No small feat when their overseer is, well, me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zrk2 on November 23, 2010, 08:44:09 pm
Quote from: GaxkangtheUnbound on November 22, 2010, 05:39:10 pm
Quote from: Knarfle on November 22, 2010, 04:44:26 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Looks like the broker. . .
 8)
. . .made the deal of his life.
YEEEEAAAHHH!

People in English class do that everyday. I am going to come through the internet and punch you.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zidane on November 23, 2010, 11:57:54 pm
Finished building a curtain wall, made of different patterns of kimberlite, and bauxite. I took me about an hour to do it... then dorffort decided to crash.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on November 24, 2010, 02:52:57 am
I like to name my first seven dwarves in themes.  I picked the seven colors of the rainbow this time. For fun I named their group Rainbow the Perfect Diamond.  I realize the rainbow thing sounds elven, but I couldn't think of any other themes for my first seven. I continued the motif with the first couple migrants... because I got such a low number... so I had a bunch of colors...

I've been looking at statues to see if the dwarves decide to make an image of my legendary hero adventurer... and find a statue of Dakas the god of rainbows. Turns out about 3/4 of my fort worship the god of rainbows.  I facepalmed at the irony.

I never really met for the fort to end up like this.  I figured though, that I'm just going to roll with the irony.  I want to build a giant rainbow over my fort now... though I'll have to change the colors in StoneSense to get some of the colors to look right. 

A more traditional facepalm also happened at the fort. We got ambushed by goblins. My first experience with them as I was using .13 until .17 came out and my second fort died rather fast when a giant purple feathered hedgehog that breathed fire decided to explore my fort.  Luckily, only two dwarves died... my military decided to attack them when all I wanted them to do was run.  I just formed the military and they had no weapons.  The liaison finally had the last meeting with the expedition leader and decided to leave... about 15 seconds too soon. He got gobbed... hard... then the goblins decided to storm my cage trap hallway... so I have like 19 goblins in cages.  I kind of wish I could enslave them... even if all they did was haul and clean... I'd be fine with that... But I guess I should figure out something to do with them... I got an idea... how much water is needed to freeze someone to death.  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NSQuote on November 24, 2010, 12:26:47 pm
Oops. My workshop pods were made one tile too small to fit four evenly spaced workshops.

This will be bothering me until the fort eventually crumbles to its end.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on November 24, 2010, 05:35:10 pm
Quote from: EmeraldWind on November 24, 2010, 02:52:57 am
how much water is needed to freeze someone to death.  :P

I'm a bit rusty on freezing, but I think 2/7 full water works.  Furthermore, if you set it up right, you can leave the gobbos in there over the winter and just have your dwarves grab the important stuff come spring.  Just be sure to clean it all out before the freeze comes again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on November 24, 2010, 11:17:15 pm
Quote from: Rockphed on November 24, 2010, 05:35:10 pm
Quote from: EmeraldWind on November 24, 2010, 02:52:57 am
how much water is needed to freeze someone to death.  :P

I'm a bit rusty on freezing, but I think 2/7 full water works.  Furthermore, if you set it up right, you can leave the gobbos in there over the winter and just have your dwarves grab the important stuff come spring.  Just be sure to clean it all out before the freeze comes again.

Thanks.  I was hoping for that.  But if I let it thaw I can grab their stuff too?  That's cool.  I thought freezing atom smashed stuff... Still new to the game so I wasn't sure.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on November 24, 2010, 11:18:53 pm
Some stuff disappears, other stuff stays.
Like their bones.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: iyaerP on November 25, 2010, 02:30:13 am
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on November 24, 2010, 11:18:53 pm
Some stuff disappears, other stuff stays.
Like their bones.

If I have a moat that freezes, and it is filled with upright spikes, will the spikes survive the winter? What about if I dig out the ice so that trolls can't just walk across it and break my drawbridge?

Thanks.




Facepalm moment......

When a magma man decided to climb my pump stack and ruin the whole thing when it was a mere 15 z levels from completion. Took almost 3 years of in fort time from when I first started to when he wrecked it. was sooooo close to done.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on November 25, 2010, 06:14:45 am
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on November 24, 2010, 11:18:53 pm
Some stuff disappears, other stuff stays.
Like their bones.

I've never seen a single item destroyed by ice.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Maklak on November 25, 2010, 07:42:55 am
I'm still new to this game. My facepalm moments so far:

1) When I was reading about how the heck to set up my military I've come across "All civilians are drafted" and "Train all civilians in marksdwarf, and rain bolts on the enemy during sieges". I thought, It was a great idea, but it turned out quite bad. I have a problem of not having enough armor, or civilian squads getting better picks than military. Howewer, the worst (or !funniest! depending on perspective) was when a goblin siege came. 6 were trapped, 2 or so were killed by traps, 5 or so remained, and started shooting at my animals chained at the entrance. On top of that stupid civilians tried to replace cages (however I quickly learned how to assign "all civilian panic" alert to "inside" burrow, that I made earlier, so not many of them died. (basically choose alert level, on the left and burrows on the right) At this point I decided, screw this, I'm unchaining what's left of my animals, and sending 3 full squads of military against the remaining goblins. They could handle stuff like GCS, Trolls, and an FB made of steam, so they'll manage, right? To my surprise I watched them charge into the fray, and die one by one, while barely hurting the goblins. WTF? It turned out, they've used most of my crossbow bolts for training, even tough I made 30 wooden ones, some bone, and always bought bolts from caravans. In the aftermath I have like 15 or 20 dead dwarfs, and some in the hospital. One or 2 will be useless (lost ability to stand, lost ability to grasp), and 2 died in hospital from dehydration, when I was busy hauling all dropped stuff to my base. So yeah, now I at least have a clue on how to reorganize my military. Silver hammers will be my weapon of choice from now on. Or perhabs bronze picks and axes (I don't have any iron on this site, but I have tin, copper and silver).

Also, I'm rebuilding my entrance from
         ====
======oo=
T
======oo=
         ====

to
          |o  o|
           |   |
======     |
TTT          |
=========

= |   wall
T  trap
o  chained war dog
Goblins come from the left, my base is on the right.

2) My embark is in a rather cold climate, and some lakes freeze during winters. I've connected some of them, and made a 5-tile wide moat. That didn't work so well, especially after I used that moat to flood like 2k squares for farming (yeah, overkill ftw, I'm overflowing with food anyway) (at least I did it the "right" way, with 20 floodgates and all). Luckilly for me when water freezes it turns into ice, and when ice unfreezes it turns into 7/7 water, so my moat is gradually filling up. It was easilly crossed for a few seasons, but now seems to be working. Thing is, in the autumn I decided to perform a quick deforestation, and then went about building some bedrooms, and walling off the cave. 2 of my dwarves got encased in ice from crossing my moat in the wrong place at the wrong time.

3) For my third embark I couldn't buy any drinks or subterrean seeds from my home civ. Oh well, I'll just wall off the highest hilltop Machu-Pichu style, and farm prickle berries. At least I have iron ore now :>

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on November 25, 2010, 08:22:35 am
I just had my first siege, but I was confident. Cocky even. I had prepared for this. I was expecting this, so I got every man on station, the walls were lined with marksmen, and the gates were guarded by my militia. I pulled the levers to close the gates, and wait it out.

My gate to the south closed, but my one to the east stayed open. And open. And open.

Turns out I forgot to link the bridge and it's lever. Ah. They all died. So I closed it down using task manager, fortunatly I had saved before with JUST enough time so I repeated this but with a mechanic hastily linking them together, it works no problem then. However, a thief was sighted inside my walls. He was easily taken care of, he must have slipped in just before the south gate closed. Then a Master thief appeared, and started stabbing peasants left right and centre. He was [Eventually] killed when the goblins poured out of the wood works.

Turns out they can move diagonally. They slipped in through a hole in the wall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zwei on November 25, 2010, 09:59:09 am
Quote from: Lord Shonus on November 25, 2010, 06:14:45 am
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on November 24, 2010, 11:18:53 pm
Some stuff disappears, other stuff stays.
Like their bones.

I've never seen a single item destroyed by ice.

You are lucky. I have seen ice destroying *stones* and well as other items and even deconstruct wells (by destroying submerged bucket i guess.), making it fine alternative to atom smashing/magma burning.

It also changes 1 tile of water to 7 tiles of water. Magical, all powerfull ice.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on November 25, 2010, 10:31:27 am
7 patients died of thirst since the end of the last siege. Even after disabling all non-healthcare related tasks on a few dwarfs, they still don't give them water.
I shouldn't complain, we get waaaaaayy too many immigrants anyway...
... wait, make it 8.
I'm just a bit worried, I wonder how many of them had friends, and my mist generator is far from ready yet because, guess what, all my workers end up dying of thirst at the hospital.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on November 25, 2010, 07:00:38 pm
Embarked for the first time on a volcano. I have very little experience with magma/lava, so I decided it was time to experiment. For !!SCIENCE!!

So, I was digging out my factory floor, and channeled magma grooves in the floor. Apparently, I missed a ramp, and the entire level flooded in under a minute. Thanks to my dedication to the space bar, no one died and I sealed off the entrance so as not to flood the world.

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: duckInferno on November 25, 2010, 10:40:51 pm
I built a massive stockpile for cloth and leather itemry next to my trade depot in order to clean + trade off all of the goblinite strewn about the place.  However, I'd forgotten that my countess really likes leather and has banned it from export.

100~ leather items traded later, I look through the combat log to see people getting stuck down.  Wtf! 

As things click together I look at my justice pane and see over ten dwarves scheduled for a beating.  Turns out my sheriff, who is unarmed, went around punching their faces in.  Single punch, single face cave in. 

He killed my armoursmith that I was midway through leveling, my metalsmith and my legendary glass maker, and a few other useless dwarves before I hastily set up a jail.  FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Terrahex on November 26, 2010, 02:47:16 am
I knew that in worlds with more than one adamantine vien, only one would have demon in it, so when I found the one that was demon free, I was overjoyed, but I knew that the viens sometimes open up lower than the top so I dug deeper... and deeper... until I broke through the cieling of hell just to say hi.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on November 26, 2010, 05:56:09 am
Quote from: Terrahex on November 26, 2010, 02:47:16 am
I knew that in worlds with more than one adamantine vien, only one would have demon in it, so when I found the one that was demon free, I was overjoyed, but I knew that the viens sometimes open up lower than the top so I dug deeper... and deeper... until I broke through the cieling of hell just to say hi.

Well looks like it wasn't clown free after all!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Oglokoog on November 26, 2010, 06:32:51 am
Quote from: EmeraldWind on November 24, 2010, 02:52:57 am
Turns out about 3/4 of my fort worship the god of rainbows.  I facepalmed at the irony.
That's not ironic, it's just awesome.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolzwheejars on November 26, 2010, 10:59:14 am
When I realized I had only 6 dwarves on this embark >.<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Twi on November 26, 2010, 11:37:44 am
When six (not particularly strong, from what I can tell) goblins massacred around fourty dwarves.
Only three survived because they were deep in the caverns.
Elf merchants arrived as it was ending, to boot.
EDIT: They died too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gr33kjester on November 26, 2010, 11:45:54 am
I'm on a fort called 'Smithswins', were all my Metal smith people love to "Swim" (Jump into water, unexpectedly), now, in a recent migrant wave, I got ANOTHER MS, but, he was a proficient swimmer, just as he decided to jump into water, the water froze...
FACEPALM
To kick me more, I got a elven SIEGE, which consisted of 5 elves, which I've captured, what to do now?
Comrade 'Joseph' Gr33kjester
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Twi on November 26, 2010, 12:01:29 pm
Correction: FIVE goblins.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Korgus on November 26, 2010, 12:24:39 pm
I just found out that you don't have to make farms 1 at a time. After playing this for months.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on November 26, 2010, 02:01:00 pm
10 patients died of thirst after the siege. All the others survived.
I seriously cannot remember who, among those who died while technically in the hands of Windslap's healthcare, wasn't dehydrated to death. I had war dogs die of infection, and a couple dwarfs who died in blood loss before anyone reasonably had the time to carry them to the hospital, but no patient died of anything but friggin' thirst.
I have a bit water on the surface, I have plenty of water in the caverns, I have enough buckets for a lifetime, and the only reason I have no well is that most of the workforce eventually ends up at the hospital, and even if they don't die there, they can waste a year or two before anyone correctly diagnoses and heal them.
Worst healthcare system ever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Twi on November 26, 2010, 02:05:24 pm
When I tried to build a Craftdwarf's Workshop so that a moody, unskilled dwarf would do something.
At the last moment, another dwarf decided it would be a good idea to sleep there. >_>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NightmareBros on November 26, 2010, 04:24:03 pm
I made a fort out of Ice.

And then I used Magma on Goblins.

Oh god the water
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Saetar33 on November 26, 2010, 05:47:25 pm
My superior stupidity.
Digging into the side of a volcano to fill my giant pit of doom.
AND NOT BLOODY REALIZING... a wall was in the way.
Flow gets diverted into my fortress.
....
Oh, god, the murder of cats... >.<;
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GaxkangtheUnbound on November 26, 2010, 05:50:37 pm
After letting some thieves escape with around 10,000 DB, my deceased list grows evermore.
Spoiler: Image (click to show/hide)
EDIT:Well, that forest titan managed to slip through my well(It was made of water) and slew a woodworker by shooting her in the head with extract.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Terrahex on November 26, 2010, 06:25:34 pm
I decided to make a waterfall in my new fortress that would be completely powered by waterwheels. it took a long ten minutes of rigorous planning, but I finally got it... until I rmembered my map froze over in the winter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TomiTapio on November 26, 2010, 08:26:46 pm
Quote from: Musashi on November 26, 2010, 02:01:00 pm
no patient died of anything but friggin' thirst.
I have a bit water on the surface, I have plenty of water in the caverns, I have enough buckets for a lifetime, and the only reason I have no well is that most of the workforce eventually ends up at the hospital, and even if they don't die there, they can waste a year or two before anyone correctly diagnoses and heal them.
Worst healthcare system ever.
Maybe it have something to do with the fact that crutch-walking isn't working so anyone with leg injury can't do anything (IF a hospital exists THEN must rest), especially not crawl to the kitchen. And one broken wrist of course stops a dwarf from walking to the food and booze area!

Hmm maybe could have tried turning all healthcare labors on for all dwarves. Or delete the hospital zone and remove beds for force people up? Hmm I should try that sometime.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Saetar33 on November 27, 2010, 12:27:39 am
Heh, now I have a legendary...WHAT?!
He's a legendary friggin' LYE MAKER.  WHAT is that good for?!?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on November 27, 2010, 01:25:28 am
Making lye.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: iyaerP on November 27, 2010, 03:09:25 am
Quote from: Saetar33 on November 27, 2010, 12:27:39 am
Heh, now I have a legendary...WHAT?!
He's a legendary friggin' LYE MAKER.  WHAT is that good for?!?


making lye so you can make soap so more of your dorfs that survive FUN but are injured end up living.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on November 27, 2010, 06:05:31 am
Quote from: TomiTapio on November 26, 2010, 08:26:46 pm
Quote from: Musashi on November 26, 2010, 02:01:00 pm
no patient died of anything but friggin' thirst.
I have a bit water on the surface, I have plenty of water in the caverns, I have enough buckets for a lifetime, and the only reason I have no well is that most of the workforce eventually ends up at the hospital, and even if they don't die there, they can waste a year or two before anyone correctly diagnoses and heal them.
Worst healthcare system ever.
Maybe it have something to do with the fact that crutch-walking isn't working so anyone with leg injury can't do anything (IF a hospital exists THEN must rest), especially not crawl to the kitchen. And one broken wrist of course stops a dwarf from walking to the food and booze area!

Hmm maybe could have tried turning all healthcare labors on for all dwarves. Or delete the hospital zone and remove beds for force people up? Hmm I should try that sometime.
Leg injury: trust me, only half my dwarfs have leg injuries, and because I swear every single guy here has some kind of scar on their body, they heal relatively well, as they keep working as intended. I'm not gonna enter the matter of hands.
Turning all healthcare labors on? That's exactly what I did since the start of the very fort! I even learnt the lesson the had a couple dwarfs completely devoted to the patients! But nooooooo
I even remember, back in .16, one marksdwarf that had been turned into a booze-scented pincushion thanks to an unfortunate encounter with goblins was resting in the hospital and generally ignored by the doctors past some basic care. He had one leg broken, the other maimed, and was already suffering of an infection, so I hadn't much hope left for him anyway. What did he do? Under the fallacy of fetching his equipment, he dragged his sorry ass to a random pile of booze, and gulped down a barrel or two. Then he cancelled everything repeatedly and died among his beloved barrels. He still needed further care.
So, yeah.  :-X
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Icee77 on November 27, 2010, 05:03:28 pm
Playing Genesis when elephants come in. Remembering all the tales of horror, i sent my entire military. They killed the elephant very very very fast. then my obsidian dwarf breathed fire and killed off the other elephants....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolzwheejars on November 27, 2010, 05:03:48 pm
(http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h419/Lolzwheejars/Facepalm.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zidane on November 27, 2010, 05:54:47 pm
Quote from: Lolzwheejars on November 27, 2010, 05:03:48 pm
(http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h419/Lolzwheejars/Facepalm.png)

But... It's a badass crutch!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolzwheejars on November 27, 2010, 06:58:20 pm
Quote from: Zidane on November 27, 2010, 05:54:47 pm
Quote from: Lolzwheejars on November 27, 2010, 05:03:48 pm
(http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h419/Lolzwheejars/Facepalm.png)

But... It's a badass crutch!

Wouldn't be so bad if dwarves actually used crutches :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Oglokoog on November 27, 2010, 07:16:35 pm
Quote from: Saetar33 on November 27, 2010, 12:27:39 am
Heh, now I have a legendary...WHAT?!
He's a legendary friggin' LYE MAKER.  WHAT is that good for?!?
Making lye, which you can then use to make soap. If any of your dwarves get injured, the soap he helped create will save many lives that infection would otherwise claim.
EDIT: Damn, should've read the rest of the thread. Sorry guys! I guess this counts as a facepalm moment :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on November 27, 2010, 07:51:24 pm
Quote from: Lolzwheejars on November 27, 2010, 06:58:20 pm
Quote from: Zidane on November 27, 2010, 05:54:47 pm
Quote from: Lolzwheejars on November 27, 2010, 05:03:48 pm
(http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h419/Lolzwheejars/Facepalm.png)

But... It's a badass crutch!

Wouldn't be so bad if dwarves actually used crutches :P

Just wait until a dwarf can use a crutch in combat and use their crutch walker skill the same way a pick can be used in combat and use the mining skill...
(ok, maybe that won't happen, but you never know :P)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: twilightdusk on November 27, 2010, 10:58:07 pm
Getting distracted halfway through embark, and as a result giving two of my dwarves woodcutting in terrain with no wood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McUristy on November 27, 2010, 10:59:23 pm
Quote from: twilightdusk on November 27, 2010, 10:58:07 pm
Getting distracted halfway through embark, and as a result giving two of my dwarves woodcutting in terrain with no wood.
Theres always caverns.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: twilightdusk on November 27, 2010, 11:13:32 pm
Quote from: Urist McUristy on November 27, 2010, 10:59:23 pm
Quote from: twilightdusk on November 27, 2010, 10:58:07 pm
Getting distracted halfway through embark, and as a result giving two of my dwarves woodcutting in terrain with no wood.
Theres always caverns.

doesn't reduce the level of facepalm I had when I started looking around for trees to chop...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: iyaerP on November 28, 2010, 02:43:22 am
Quote from: twilightdusk on November 27, 2010, 11:13:32 pm
Quote from: Urist McUristy on November 27, 2010, 10:59:23 pm
Quote from: twilightdusk on November 27, 2010, 10:58:07 pm
Getting distracted halfway through embark, and as a result giving two of my dwarves woodcutting in terrain with no wood.
Theres always caverns.

doesn't reduce the level of facepalm I had when I started looking around for trees to chop...

so just dig straight down to the first cavern layer.

What could possibly go wrong?

facepalm moment for myself: send my entire army out to fight my first ever bronze collossus. Two naked recruits are the first to arrive and are curbstomped into the ground. As they are new immigrants and thus have no skills or friends, I could care less. What I DO care about however, is that 2 of my five legendary fighters managed to dodge into a 3-tile-square murky pool. The BC followed them in. So two of my best military dwarves drowned in a fight where up till that point, they had not yet taken a scratch. And now their corpses are unrecoverable. Along with all their adamantine gear and the BC's statue.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on November 28, 2010, 05:20:44 am
For the first time in a stupidly long time, a Strange Mood Dwarf has claimed a shop other than a craftsdwarf shop.

He was already suffering from thirst when he got the mood.

Figures.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Oglokoog on November 28, 2010, 05:36:10 am
Quote from: Samuel on November 28, 2010, 05:20:44 am
For the first time in a stupidly long time, a Strange Mood Dwarf has claimed a shop other than a craftsdwarf shop.
He was already suffering from thirst when he got the mood.
Figures.

I think dwarves don't need to drink when they have a mood. Their hunger and thirst get suspended until they finish the artifact or go insane. I might be wrong, though.

Quote from: iyaerP on November 28, 2010, 02:43:22 am
facepalm moment for myself: send my entire army out to fight my first ever bronze collossus. Two naked recruits are the first to arrive and are curbstomped into the ground. As they are new immigrants and thus have no skills or friends, I could care less. What I DO care about however, is that 2 of my five legendary fighters managed to dodge into a 3-tile-square murky pool. The BC followed them in. So two of my best military dwarves drowned in a fight where up till that point, they had not yet taken a scratch. And now their corpses are unrecoverable. Along with all their adamantine gear and the BC's statue.

What's stopping you from channeling out a few tiles around the murky pool? Is it made from slade?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on November 28, 2010, 05:42:49 am
Quote from: Oglokoog on November 28, 2010, 05:36:10 am
Quote from: Samuel on November 28, 2010, 05:20:44 am
For the first time in a stupidly long time, a Strange Mood Dwarf has claimed a shop other than a craftsdwarf shop.
He was already suffering from thirst when he got the mood.
Figures.

I think dwarves don't need to drink when they have a mood. Their hunger and thirst get suspended until they finish the artifact or go insane. I might be wrong, though.

You appear to be correct. He got all the way through completion of a granite coffin worth 384000. I used a burrow on my stone pile while building a tanner's workshop to give him the hide he needed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on November 28, 2010, 06:01:22 am
Speaking of strange moods, after my master mason killed himself on a pile of traps becuase I didn't get him any metal [Stupidly, I forgot I didn't need an anvil to make the metal, so I let him die] and after a string of other Dwarves taking other promising workshops with promising proffesions who all died, I managed to get my first artifact in this fort. A metal spit. I then got a dog bone bracelet [Damn bugs] and a bucket.

A bucket.

Worst of all, most of them were possessed so they got no XP as well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lupusater on November 28, 2010, 07:38:55 am
On the artifact side, my recently-possessed leatherworker just made a leather piccolo. As in, a literal skin flute. *facepalm*

Edit: checking the name, it is called "Calmbit"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheJackal on November 28, 2010, 09:53:23 am
Quote from: UnrealJake on November 28, 2010, 06:01:22 am

A bucket.

Worst of all, most of them were possessed so they got no XP as well.

Use the bucket to make a well in your dining room. It'll keep the dorfs happy at least.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bremarv on November 28, 2010, 01:13:08 pm
Forgott about a magam pipe I was building that was crossing the river. A goblin ambush was discovered on my roof just outside the staircase into the busiest part of the fort. *facepalm*

I wonder how fast my military runs...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spaghetti7 on November 28, 2010, 04:39:37 pm
My first fortress was going good (well, good by Dwarf Fortress standards) then the first goblin ambush came.
After around half my dwarfs were slaughtered or crippled, I decided to pull the "Fuck this" lever, which should release a torrent of water to gush into my main hallways.
However, firstly it took a while for a dwarf missing a leg to crawl to the lever and pull it, but when the water was released it was not at high enough pressure. This meant it only made it about halfway down the hall, and even then it could not get past the doors, meaning the goblins were free to slaughter the remaining population  in a very indignified manner.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: frozen on November 28, 2010, 07:51:23 pm
Making a fortress for the first time in a while, so I'm re-learning how much FUN can be had.

First bit of FUN involved waterfalls and pressure:  I naively channeled moat around my fortress including a waterfall but not accounting for the water shooting out from the edge of the cliff at all.  Commence world flood.  Also, an unlucky dwarf was downhill and he didn't survive his fall.

Second bit of FUN.  I try to fix this in the winter when the moat froze over.  First I successfully dammed the moat upstream of the waterfall.  But some of the moat later on is underground b/c I haven't bothered to carve the entire facade of my fortress yet (cliffside mega project upcoming).  I could have safely waited for spring thaw, but instead I send my miners to dig away the moat and give the water somewhere to drain.  Miners are outside in the cold, digging away the wall that holds the moat water in....  Two points if you know what happened next.

So when the ice thaws do I get my miners' bodies & picks back or are they ice-atom-smashed into oblivion?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: celem on November 28, 2010, 08:55:47 pm
In my current community fort  my woodcutter suddenly 'canceled woodcutting: lost axe'. 

Weird, he heads off to grab another and a moment later 'canceled woodcutting: lost axe'.

Damnit!, ive only got 2 left and hardly any wood. 'canceled woodcutting: lost axe'.

Really! WTF! 'canceled woodcutting: lost axe'.

Oh.....hes on fire and just cremated all my training axes running back and forth between weapon pile and a tree
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on November 28, 2010, 09:13:28 pm
Quote from: frozen on November 28, 2010, 07:51:23 pm
Making a fortress for the first time in a while, so I'm re-learning how much FUN can be had.

First bit of FUN involved waterfalls and pressure:  I naively channeled moat around my fortress including a waterfall but not accounting for the water shooting out from the edge of the cliff at all.  Commence world flood.  Also, an unlucky dwarf was downhill and he didn't survive his fall.

Second bit of FUN.  I try to fix this in the winter when the moat froze over.  First I successfully dammed the moat upstream of the waterfall.  But some of the moat later on is underground b/c I haven't bothered to carve the entire facade of my fortress yet (cliffside mega project upcoming).  I could have safely waited for spring thaw, but instead I send my miners to dig away the moat and give the water somewhere to drain.  Miners are outside in the cold, digging away the wall that holds the moat water in....  Two points if you know what happened next.

So when the ice thaws do I get my miners' bodies & picks back or are they ice-atom-smashed into oblivion?

Pretty sure you get whatever they were carrying that was metal, and their skeletons.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Artifakt on November 29, 2010, 01:16:02 am
My last fort was destroyed by a horrible incident involving improper irrigation and exits that were locked from the outside, due to several genius strokes of planning.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on November 29, 2010, 03:54:49 am
Quote from: Lupusater on November 28, 2010, 07:38:55 am
On the artifact side, my recently-possessed leatherworker just made a leather piccolo. As in, a literal skin flute. *facepalm*

Edit: checking the name, it is called "Calmbit"

Yeeeah. Suggestive as hell. Freudian Dwarves anyone?

Quote from: celem on November 28, 2010, 08:55:47 pm
In my current community fort  my woodcutter suddenly 'canceled woodcutting: lost axe'. 

Weird, he heads off to grab another and a moment later 'canceled woodcutting: lost axe'.

Damnit!, ive only got 2 left and hardly any wood. 'canceled woodcutting: lost axe'.

Really! WTF! 'canceled woodcutting: lost axe'.

Oh.....hes on fire and just cremated all my training axes running back and forth between weapon pile and a tree

Did your fortress get !!FUN!!inated as well?

Quote from: frozen on November 28, 2010, 07:51:23 pm
Making a fortress for the first time in a while, so I'm re-learning how much FUN can be had.

First bit of FUN involved waterfalls and pressure:  I naively channeled moat around my fortress including a waterfall but not accounting for the water shooting out from the edge of the cliff at all.  Commence world flood.  Also, an unlucky dwarf was downhill and he didn't survive his fall.

Second bit of FUN.  I try to fix this in the winter when the moat froze over.  First I successfully dammed the moat upstream of the waterfall.  But some of the moat later on is underground b/c I haven't bothered to carve the entire facade of my fortress yet (cliffside mega project upcoming).  I could have safely waited for spring thaw, but instead I send my miners to dig away the moat and give the water somewhere to drain.  Miners are outside in the cold, digging away the wall that holds the moat water in....  Two points if you know what happened next.

So when the ice thaws do I get my miners' bodies & picks back or are they ice-atom-smashed into oblivion?

I think you get their posessions as well as skeletons, or maybe just metals... I dunno, check it when you dig them out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wiro on November 29, 2010, 01:26:39 pm
I dug all the way across the map to get rid of the goblins there that just didn't want to go away (and I have no functioning military). When I had everything set up and got ready to open the trap, they were gone.  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on November 29, 2010, 04:27:10 pm
I had set up a nice new fort, and started on Embark with a marksdwarf so I could get some hunting done. A season or two later and this guy has a huge number of kills, and is very nearly a master. I caught a Kobold theif at my entrance so I drafted him, he was indeed an archer and I checked he still had bolts on him [He had plenty] and gave him the kill order.

I watched as he charged the Kobold, and ran right into his dagger. He impaled himself on it and chopped up his own lung.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: proxn_punkd on November 29, 2010, 05:19:21 pm
Quote from: Lupusater on November 28, 2010, 07:38:55 am
On the artifact side, my recently-possessed leatherworker just made a leather piccolo. As in, a literal skin flute. *facepalm*

Edit: checking the name, it is called "Calmbit"

I got one of those, too. It's called "Glistenmetal". Couldn't be more ironic if it tried.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kraz123 on November 29, 2010, 05:19:46 pm
I just realized that for the last three or so years I've been hitting "o" instead of "t" when trading.  So many rough and cut gems... gone... :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deviled on November 29, 2010, 07:20:43 pm
I just recently found out lime stone is a flux stone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: frozen on November 29, 2010, 09:18:37 pm
Quote from: Deviled on November 29, 2010, 07:20:43 pm
I just recently found out lime stone is a flux stone.

I hear you on this one.
I have to keep referencing the wiki to remember which ones flux are and aren't.  But i try to do that on embark now so I pick a location that definitely has some.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on November 29, 2010, 10:05:28 pm
I made a long list of metal types/flux stones/etc and posted it right by my computer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: letmeon on November 29, 2010, 10:18:15 pm
After taking out 2 fb's in one-three shots each, I was feeling pretty confident, so the next one that came i didn't bother sending much military, 1 legendary fighter. Then i go about my buisiness and notice rot everywhere, and a barely wounded fb killed off 24 well trained and equiped troops, and was killing off my entire civilian city. I drafted 80 of them into the military, barely made a dent in it. All of its wounds healed into scars, and my last save is 2 hours ago.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on November 30, 2010, 01:57:08 am
Ugh. I have had a baby captured by a goblin snatcher... but the snatcher got caught by a cage trap.

This has caused me to do research on the wiki.  And is there a way to disarm the goblins? Or get the baby back? The wiki seems to hint at me being able to do something... but it never gives me a solid answer in the places I've checked.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on November 30, 2010, 02:37:52 am
Quote from: EmeraldWind on November 30, 2010, 01:57:08 am
Ugh. I have had a baby captured by a goblin snatcher... but the snatcher got caught by a cage trap.

This has caused me to do research on the wiki.  And is there a way to disarm the goblins? Or get the baby back? The wiki seems to hint at me being able to do something... but it never gives me a solid answer in the places I've checked.

set up a garbage dump right next to the cage.  It should be a simple "put garbage here" quantum stock pile thing.  DO NOT PUT IT NEXT TO LAVA OR A PIT.  Then just mass dump the cage using 'd','b','d'.  You might need to mass reclaim the stuff first, it depends on the version you are using.  If you don't want them to actually drag the cage over to the dump, use v to look at it and deselect it for dumping.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NobodyPro on November 30, 2010, 04:02:16 am
Wanted to rely on fishing in an early fortress.

"Urist McFearless has canceled fish. Interrupted by harmless minnow.'
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: James.Denholm on November 30, 2010, 04:26:56 am
Quote from: Rockphed on November 30, 2010, 02:37:52 am
set up a garbage dump right next to the cage.  It should be a simple "put garbage here" quantum stock pile thing.  DO NOT PUT IT NEXT TO LAVA OR A PIT.  Then just mass dump the cage using 'd','b','d'.  You might need to mass reclaim the stuff first, it depends on the version you are using.  If you don't want them to actually drag the cage over to the dump, use v to look at it and deselect it for dumping.

Dwarf Fortress: Where the only way to reclaim your baby is by throwing him in a rubbish dump.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: VinWij on November 30, 2010, 05:03:01 am
I had some UristMcTantrum going in a tantrum because his only friend was eaten by a beak-dog (terrifying embark), and he decided stomping a bridge over a river. He stood in the middle and smashed it to bits, causing him to fall down with some chunks of rock into the river 4 z levels below. Darwin Award!

Later, when I rebuilt the bridge, I tried building a wall next to it (to prevent anyone jumping off by dodging a harpy, which happened before...), suspended but connected to a wall that's on solid ground. But, the dwarves start building it on the wrong end, causing it to collapse and cause a huge cloud of dust, blowing no less than 8 dwarves off the bridge into that same river. There's now 10 corpses (UristMcTantrum, a macedwarf dodging a harpy and the 8 dustcloud-victims) down there and I'm building a big hall with memorials. The trouts keep their corpses company.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolzwheejars on November 30, 2010, 08:20:04 am
Not building cage traps on the other side of my moat and having goblins on alligators swim through it to the other side >.<
Am currently walling off the two last pieces of my tower as a last ditch effort. But I fear the worst... A dwarf in a mood hasn't begun his project yet... It's only a matter of time... DUN! DUN! DUNNN!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NightmareBros on November 30, 2010, 01:08:38 pm
Forggotten beast with deadly blood and wings got onto my staircase.
Army of wrestlers beat and bite it death.
Guess what happens next.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on November 30, 2010, 01:32:14 pm
"Athel Erithlathon, Fish Cleaner has died of thirst."
What?
Oh, he's in that section of the fort I had him off! But he had access to the rest of the fortress, so why...
... huh, what a surprise, that area actually wasn't connected at all to the rest of the fort.
Duh. *facepalms*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: blizzerd on November 30, 2010, 08:12:59 pm
i buy some armor from the caravan with all the food i have, minus like 2 barrels and 2 stack of meals

the caravan leaves

urist mcnearlegendaryherbalist withdraws from society

he requires glass, i do not have any...

the only herbalist from a group of 25 dwarves

my storage room was empty, due to buying weapons for it from the caravan a few seconds before

made all my dwarves herbalists to desperately get food

goblins siege the fortress
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on November 30, 2010, 08:50:16 pm
Well, atleast you can arm your militia.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: salveson92 on November 30, 2010, 09:35:05 pm
Spent about 45 minutes with the game paused designating a huge single story bedroom design, making sure to be several levels below my workshops.
then i unpaused...
You have discovered an expansive cavern deep underground.
i barely got 3 squares away from my staircase  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Harbinger on November 30, 2010, 10:02:28 pm
After mining out a large room for an underground tree farm, I built a bridge and attached it to a lever to atom smash the mined rock out of existence. after dumping it all under the raised bridge, I told a dorf to pull the lever.

Happily, one of my three traders obliged and rushed over to pull the lever. After doing so, he wandered off to get a drink (I suppose he was, at any rate), and walked right under the bridge to get to the...


SPLAT


*facepalm*


on the up side, he wasn't the best trader I have. more booze for everyone else!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Keldane on December 01, 2010, 03:54:12 am
So I was working away on my fortress, having had a surprising amount of success so far. I start digging a well shaft, with one dwarf tunneling straight down the series of channels. Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out why my other two miners aren't hard at work constructing my underground resevoir I had all designated.

"Urist McBrilliantMiner has died after colliding with an object."

Huh?

I zoom down to the site, and see the original miner doing just fine. As I'm about to write it off as a glitch, I find my other two miners. Apparently they decided to leap down the single tile well shaft, about 7-8z levels deep, some time after my first miner had successfully tunneled to the bottom. Near as I could tell the first one to land survived without serious injury until the second one landed on him and killed him. Said second dwarf was badly injured but didn't bother to stop working. *facepalm*

Then there was the time where I thought I'd done so well in finding a spot where I had successfully tunneled down beneath an aquifer, where I started building my fort. I was close to the left edge of the map, so I started stacking stone storages to get stuff out of the way and make sure I don't miss out on any ore. 'Stacking', of course, intended to imply that I was putting each new one on a layer above the last. I facepalmed hard when I realized I'd managed to tunnel a straight up/down stairway right back into the aquifer I thought myself so clever in avoiding.

And the time where my expedition leader mysteriously died of thirst in a tunnel way up north on the map. I couldn't figure out where she was for a long time, mostly due to not thinking to check the tunnel that was perfectly accessible from multiple points. There had been no cave ins, no sudden bursts of high pressure water (in fact, no water at all, at that point - just plenty of booze). My best guess is that she was the only dwarf to have encountered the mysterious invisible troll that had destroyed one floodgate and my farm plot without ever being seen or interfering with any other dwarf in a way that triggered a message. The facepalm mostly comes from the fact that this dwarf was also my broker, and that the outpost liaison had been unsuccessfully trying (by hanging out in the main section of my fort, apparently) to hold a meeting for a few months until she died and the liaison left angrily.

Edit: This morning I had an embark where, as soon as the spring thaw hit a few minutes after I started, I discovered that my wagon was half-over an obscured murky pool that had been frozen solid when I started. Queue having to drain the pool in an effort to recover over half my supplies that sank straight to the bottom when it became liquid.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lovechild on December 01, 2010, 03:48:40 pm
Today I realized that my fortress entrance has a distinctive phallic shape... and when I activate the drowning trap it looks like it's urinating. It wasn't intentional, I swear!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Captain Insano on December 01, 2010, 05:27:19 pm
I just accidentally let my goblin prisoners go without forbidding the doors to the prison.  >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on December 01, 2010, 05:49:45 pm
Quote from: salveson92 on November 30, 2010, 09:35:05 pm
Spent about 45 minutes with the game paused designating a huge single story bedroom design, making sure to be several levels below my workshops.
then i unpaused...
You have discovered an expansive cavern deep underground.
i barely got 3 squares away from my staircase  :'(

The best way to avoid those is to dig exploratory shafts down on all four corners, on the sides and in the centre (in a Chaos star shape). After the place is sufficiently explored, designate away.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: languard on December 01, 2010, 08:21:50 pm
Experimenting around with channeling away the earth to form an above ground fortress out of rock that use to be underground.  Forgot that I had dug out an area for storage, and started channeling away an edge.  "A section of the cavern had collapsed!"  All three miners are now down a pit, one with a broken upper/lower right arm, wrist and lung, and the other with both upper/lower parts broken on both legs.  And one just knocked out.

*facepalm*

Then all three get up and get back to work on channeling  :o  Including the guy with multiple fractures on his leg.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mattpoppybros on December 01, 2010, 11:29:17 pm
Okay, so as a newbie, I finally (after 2 worlds and 5 fortresses on the second world) figured out everything needed to run a fort. Thankfully no Fun has occurred yet (but plenty of ordinary fun).

Then I sent my two man wrestler army (which I had told to pick up weapons. Which I know we have) to go kill deer. And only deer.
UristMcFailhunter cancels hunt small creature: Interrupted by Deer

Two questions, urist! WHY ARE YOU HUNTING SMALL CREATURES, AND HOW DOES A DEER, WHICH I TOLD YOU TO KILL, INTERRUPT THAT?

Unless, you know, it was a message telling me he stopped being useless.

If so, selffacepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: James.Denholm on December 02, 2010, 04:42:28 am
They start hunting small creatures when they get hungry. You know, so they don't starve to death, even though they end up doing that anyway.

So, essentially, your two dwarves have gone out to the deer, realised that they were starving to death, started scrounging around for mice or whatever, and then gotten interrupted by the deer. Which is weird, because any normal person would then kill the deer and eat it, but I guess that's dwarves for you.

Welcome to Dwarf Fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RurikGreenwulf on December 02, 2010, 10:58:46 am
My worst was forgetting for a second that water can movel diagonally and flooding my entire fortress >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EvilCartyen on December 02, 2010, 03:55:45 pm
I probably shouldn't have sent my ENTIRE militia down to kill a FB with deadly dust. I now have 30 blind soldiers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist is dead tome on December 03, 2010, 02:54:33 pm
Biggest face palm... Let's see.... I once tried to build a castle, I had to make a bunch of new walls because a mason was stuck on the walls. I also made and ramp so he could get down. And the whole thing went directly into the heart of the fort. Anyway, I set everything to be built/destroyed. When I look again there are goblins using that same ramp to get into my fort. And to this day I still don't know why they didn't build that wall..... (Sigh.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JacenHanLovesLegos on December 03, 2010, 05:04:39 pm
Arena mode : I constructed a realistic army (large amount of crsbdwrvs supporting skirmishers (no shield spearmen with leather armor) and heavy infantry (normal full armored in iron dwarf)) against a BC. I forgot to switch them from independent to #1. *Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skald on December 03, 2010, 06:32:46 pm
The Woodlands of Lemming Killing

Which is a fancy way to say that my invasion killing magma trap turned a good fourth of my current embark into a constantly burning grasslands. Which despite my efforts to quench (I waited until the first blaze wiped the map clean, and then followed up with multiple pumps from the rive) still catches on fire randomly.

I lost about 30 dwarfs who randomly ran outside to scavenge and bury each other. After they finally got everything they wanted, they went back inside, and I thought things were done.

They weren't.

Minor fires kept flaring back up (For no reason) and killing immigrant waves who ALWAYS SPAWN ON THAT CORNER OF THE MAP. So now I keep getting waves of around 20 dwarf immigrants, most of who die of blood loss after having all of their fat burn off.

Armok Damn it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tcei on December 03, 2010, 07:30:16 pm
Im not sure if this works in the new version, but back in 40d designating farm plots to be built (just suspend before a dwarf has a chance to come out) will cause the ground beneath the designation to furrow after a couple of seconds, with no vegitation growing there  the fire stops.  I had to use this method once with an above ground fort that had (an eventually) named imp with a vendeta against deer.

I dont know if this will work in the 2010 version or not but placing these plots a few tiles away from the fires should work.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on December 03, 2010, 08:37:47 pm
Ditches also block fire, I'm pretty sure.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Captain Insano on December 03, 2010, 09:09:08 pm
I accidentally breached HFS... While having reveal on. I'm an idiot.







So. Is it possible to flood it with magma?


Also. Can you still mine out walls that are smoothed/fortified/engraved?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on December 03, 2010, 09:49:54 pm
Yes on both, but clowns are immune to magma, I'm pretty sure.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pukako on December 03, 2010, 11:51:04 pm
Windtunnel., sixth year in, 128 happy dwarves.

Adamantine industry going well, with militia picking up adamantine weapons and armour as they came off the anvil... FB's happily killing themselves, and the annual trog/crundle slaughter well established.

Then, to get more shiny adamantine, I decide to follow it under the lake by puncturing the magma pipe.... It sort of worked, with obsidian meaning the dwarves could get to the shiny stuff, but the draining of my surface lake, and associated defences, combined with goblin sieges and various dwarves being trapped on the wrong side with another, nastier FB....

Not good, especially with the game slowing to three FPS....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on December 04, 2010, 02:36:13 am
I accidently caved in half my fortress by channeling one wrong tile.

A piece fell, through the two floors below it, then down onto a large section overhanging a magma pit.  The overhanging section fell, through the floor of the magma pit, this took out the key support holding up an underground keep I had built and the whole keep crumbled into nothingness, falling into the magma sea and taking 121 dwarves with it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Saposhiente on December 04, 2010, 02:48:02 am
Quote from: Captain Insano on December 03, 2010, 09:09:08 pm
So. Is it possible to flood it with magma?


Also. Can you still mine out walls that are smoothed/fortified/engraved?
1. Yes, but it won't stop the clowns. Instead, put hatches or bridges above them, as BDs can't destroy things on different z-levels
2. Yes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on December 04, 2010, 07:04:52 am
Quote from: Vehudur on December 04, 2010, 02:36:13 am
I accidently caved in half my fortress by channeling one wrong tile.

A piece fell, through the two floors below it, then down onto a large section overhanging a magma pit.  The overhanging section fell, through the floor of the magma pit, this took out the key support holding up an underground keep I had built and the whole keep crumbled into nothingness, falling into the magma sea and taking 121 dwarves with it.

Oh wow, that's kind of sad, it reminds me of some futuristic lab built under sea, suspended over a giant chasm, and then the support goes and then entire team is sent plumeting into the deep...

MEGAPROJECT!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on December 04, 2010, 08:39:17 am
Quote from: Vehudur on December 04, 2010, 02:36:13 am
I accidently caved in half my fortress by channeling one wrong tile.

A piece fell, through the two floors below it, then down onto a large section overhanging a magma pit.  The overhanging section fell, through the floor of the magma pit, this took out the key support holding up an underground keep I had built and the whole keep crumbled into nothingness, falling into the magma sea and taking 121 dwarves with it.

Now THAT is DF. Blood for the Blood God.
This is exactly why I try to support my buildings using walls, natural or constructed. Just as good as supports, but I don't have to build a floor on top of them, and single-tile walls are still a 'pillar'.

Quote from: EvilCartyen on December 02, 2010, 03:55:45 pm
I probably shouldn't have sent my ENTIRE militia down to kill a FB with deadly dust. I now have 30 blind soldiers.

Oblivion flashbacks. Build a chapel and two small houses over your fort and make your entrance go through the chapel's basement.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on December 04, 2010, 09:22:42 am
(http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e15/square_Peg/DF/Hydraheadstuckins.jpg)

...one in each head. Then it killed me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on December 04, 2010, 03:38:21 pm
This is Doctor UristMcScientist,  year three, day fifty-six, of the Atlantis Project. I can hear the support out there, creaking away. I don't know exactly what happened by McMechanic was out there two days ago and he's not come back. McLyemaker said she saw his body float by shorty after the crash. She was probably right. The shakes are getting faster and there is one every Urist or so now, we sounded the job cancel spam but I think they disabled it, we're going to die down here.

*The sound of a large, dull grinding comes from outside*

...that was the largest one yet *Sounds of pipes bursting and water leaking* it's going to happen soon... Armok bless us.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on December 04, 2010, 03:51:58 pm
Quote from: UnrealJake on December 04, 2010, 07:04:52 am
Quote from: Vehudur on December 04, 2010, 02:36:13 am
I accidently caved in half my fortress by channeling one wrong tile.

A piece fell, through the two floors below it, then down onto a large section overhanging a magma pit.  The overhanging section fell, through the floor of the magma pit, this took out the key support holding up an underground keep I had built and the whole keep crumbled into nothingness, falling into the magma sea and taking 121 dwarves with it.
Oh wow, that's kind of sad, it reminds me of some futuristic lab built under sea, suspended over a giant chasm, and then the support goes and then entire team is sent plumeting into the deep...

MEGAPROJECT!
Quote from: NewSheoth on December 04, 2010, 08:39:17 am
Now THAT is DF. Blood for the Blood God.
This is exactly why I try to support my buildings using walls, natural or constructed. Just as good as supports, but I don't have to build a floor on top of them, and single-tile walls are still a 'pillar'.

The best part?  I didn't even realize how bad it was at first.

I had a cave in.  One tile.  No biggie.  Unpaused.  Another collapse.  Aw damn, it took out my nice altar to Armok. 

Unpaused again.

Wut?  it froze up for 5 minutes.

Another cave-in.  Oh shit, that's my whole fortress.

Urist McSomeone has died after colliding with an obstacle / bleed to death x121.

Urist McPoorGuyWhoLostEveryoneHeKnew is stricken with melancholy!

(a while later)

Your fortress has crumbled to its end.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Maninblack144 on December 04, 2010, 04:34:48 pm
Quote from: Vehudur on December 04, 2010, 03:51:58 pm
Aw damn, it took out my nice altar to Armok. 
There's your problem right there, Armok couldn't have been very happy.

As for my own facepalm, I designated remove up stairs/ramps on the side of a small hill beneath my fortress entrance. A very short while later I was desperately trying to figure out what was preventing my dwarfs from reaching the surface. Turns out I accidentally designated my central stairway as well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Captain Insano on December 04, 2010, 10:46:05 pm
All of my migrants run smack into the waves upon waves of ambushes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Winged00m on December 05, 2010, 01:26:41 am
I came to some creepy lair to kill a spouse of shadow, who was haunting people of villages around.
She punched me in the face and my head blown into pieces.
This happened to ~4 more my heroes (even with some squad I was always headshott'd).

Then I came to her again, waiting for crushing punch. Bitten her in the throat, shaken around few times. She bled to death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ikkonoishi on December 05, 2010, 06:06:43 am
Preparing for the journey I had the idea to bring lots of cow's milk along instead of food. I figured I could cheese it up and make some valuable meals while I dug everything out. Got to the site, and ordered everything from the wagon dumped underground before frostbite set in. When that was done I noticed a lot of the dwarves cleaning around the dumpsite. They had removed the frozen milk chunks from the barrels, and set them on the floor to melt.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gasman on December 05, 2010, 01:50:11 pm
Quote from: Michaelsoftman on April 20, 2009, 09:42:01 pm
Quote from: AncientEnemy on April 20, 2009, 09:18:57 pm
discovering the d->b menu.

oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones

Oh man same here for me.

I remember digging out a large room, and then sighing as I would press 'k' then I'd press right, D, right, D, right, D etc etc until i marked like 200 stones for dumping.

Then someone showed me mass dumping...  I love that man.
Wait, what?! Oh ye gods, I am so glad I walked into this discussion.
And I guess that tells my facepalm moment...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vertigon on December 05, 2010, 01:58:08 pm
Yes, I was fortunate enough to read this thread before encountering that situation, so I came prepared with knowledge. I owe a lot to the people who facepalmed for me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: werty892 on December 05, 2010, 04:24:38 pm
Useing to much
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
In my explosion mining system.

My fort is now a giant hole
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vertigon on December 05, 2010, 04:38:37 pm
The fact that you're using beer at all is a facepalm.





I mean, everyone knows rum is cooler  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: werty892 on December 05, 2010, 04:52:30 pm
Quote from: Vertigon on December 05, 2010, 04:38:37 pm
The fact that you're using beer at all is a facepalm.





I mean, everyone knows rum is cooler  :P

That realy does not matter now, considiring I have one dwarf left and goblins just decided to attack
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on December 05, 2010, 05:36:05 pm
Quote from: Vertigon on December 05, 2010, 04:38:37 pm
I mean, everyone knows rum is cooler  :P

That's the thing! It's cooler, and beer's warmer! It blows up better!

And good thing that I discovered the mass-dump menu in time, too. Before I did any large-scale mining.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vertigon on December 05, 2010, 08:11:48 pm
Quote from: NewSheoth on December 05, 2010, 05:36:05 pm
Quote from: Vertigon on December 05, 2010, 04:38:37 pm
I mean, everyone knows rum is cooler  :P

That's the thing! It's cooler, and beer's warmer! It blows up better!

And good thing that I discovered the mass-dump menu in time, too. Before I did any large-scale mining.

Oh Armok, you're right! Next time, use wine?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EvilJawa on December 05, 2010, 08:57:10 pm
forbidding a metalsmiths workshop while a dwarf was in mid artifact construction in an attempt to make him use a superior metal, causing him to never finish the construction and going mad missing out on a first year legendary weapon/armorsmith? *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The Missing Ones on December 06, 2010, 12:37:40 pm
Finding out that my 115 z-level magma pump was not made out of magma-safe materials. Then, I found out that Magma doesn't fire out of a cannon very far without a lot of pressure, requiring a large magma tank and another 50 or so pumps.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZachUSAman on December 06, 2010, 06:20:55 pm
One of my axedwarves I forgot to assign a battle axe to...
hes still got 79 kills
with his friggin steel shield
now I'm curious if I should give him an axe or not...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ultimuh on December 06, 2010, 06:41:10 pm
Quote from: ZachUSAman on December 06, 2010, 06:20:55 pm
One of my axedwarves I forgot to assign a battle axe to...
hes still got 79 kills
with his friggin steel shield
now I'm curious if I should give him an axe or not...

Nickname him  "Captain America"!

Or atleast something similar that fits into DF.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: twilightdusk on December 06, 2010, 08:53:22 pm
Quote from: ZachUSAman on December 06, 2010, 06:20:55 pm
One of my axedwarves I forgot to assign a battle axe to...
hes still got 79 kills
with his friggin steel shield
now I'm curious if I should give him an axe or not...

Urist McShieldy has become a Shielddwarf
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on December 06, 2010, 09:06:17 pm
Quote from: ZachUSAman on December 06, 2010, 06:20:55 pm
One of my axedwarves I forgot to assign a battle axe to...
hes still got 79 kills
with his friggin steel shield
now I'm curious if I should give him an axe or not...

That depends.  Has he grown attached to his shield yet?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZachUSAman on December 06, 2010, 09:54:36 pm
Quote from: Rockphed on December 06, 2010, 09:06:17 pm
Quote from: ZachUSAman on December 06, 2010, 06:20:55 pm
One of my axedwarves I forgot to assign a battle axe to...
hes still got 79 kills
with his friggin steel shield
now I'm curious if I should give him an axe or not...

That depends.  Has he grown attached to his shield yet?
yes, and he named it...
can dwarves equip 2 shields at once?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: psicop on December 07, 2010, 05:13:20 am
Quote from: Foa on April 20, 2009, 10:50:56 pm
When I figured out that I could use my mouse for designating things...

OMG thank you
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on December 07, 2010, 06:05:29 am
After completely diverting a brook from its crooked, inefficient path to a perfectly straight one fit for dozens of water wheels, I discovered that, even without water, I have to mine away the brook  ???.

I channelled away the wrong tile, and now the new river is flooding back into the empty old one. That's not the worst part. It's early spring. I have to wait three seasons for the water to freeze so I can fix the damage caused by one channelled tile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wastedlabor on December 07, 2010, 12:58:49 pm
Two dwarves and a donkey were having a strange quarrel at the door of the expedition leader's office.

I checked what was going on. Turns out that Udib Guildwatch the Bowyer and Degel Equalwhip the Planter were fighting over if the donkey was to be caged, as Udib intended, or milked, as Degel wanted. Whenever one of them took the donkey and pulled it across the door of the office, the other one yanked it back to take it the other way.

In the end divine intervention decided to cancel one of the jobs, but I wonder if they would have continued until one of them died of thirst.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kronith on December 07, 2010, 08:04:03 pm
i just dug an irrigation tunnel for a well into my dining hall and after starting the flow i noticed there was a mason stuck in it so i tried to dig a way out for him and quickly wall it back up only to find out that you cant build anything i theres water on the tile... this was also near the top of my fortress
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolzwheejars on December 07, 2010, 09:28:03 pm
Embarked in The Hills of Tightness. . .
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tsen on December 07, 2010, 09:36:59 pm
I was looking over my starting seven. Usually I just make sure there are two I can immediately put into military training, but I decided to go for the gold and check out mental attributes too. A bit of checking later, I realized that the one with the best attributes to be a doctor is also has the highest physical attributes. $#@%$#. Then I realized that while I normally split the medical tasks up and embark with skilled doctors (I don't use danger rooms or huge amounts of traps) this guy has the best stats for everything but wound dressing. $##^.

Next I realize that the expedition leader candidate also has the next highest physical stats. $#%#%^.

It's great to have high quality dwarves, but does all the talent have to be put into a isngle dwarf?  ><

EDIT: Apparently we're from "The Flesh Hallways" and our group name is "The Ring of Rawness"
...
EDIT2:  $#%#%.  Embarked, checked adamantite tiles. Didn't believe the result. Ran reveal. 7 Z-levels, one vein, 200 or so tiles. /cry /cry /cry  The site is basically perfect otherwise.  Volcano, forest, sand, flux, access to other civs. Robbed! So robbed!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Johnfalcon99977 on December 07, 2010, 10:09:38 pm
Finding out how easy metalsmithing is with magma
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Harbinger on December 07, 2010, 11:54:52 pm
Quote from: Johnfalcon99977 on December 07, 2010, 10:09:38 pm
Finding out how easy metalsmithing is with magma

everything is easy with magma...unless you screw up.


then it's funny.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on December 08, 2010, 07:32:28 am
Quote from: Harbinger on December 07, 2010, 11:54:52 pm
Quote from: Johnfalcon99977 on December 07, 2010, 10:09:38 pm
Finding out how easy metalsmithing is with magma

everything is easy with magma...unless you screw up.


then it's hilarious.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fishbulb on December 08, 2010, 09:02:35 am
I had it all planned out. I'm building an agricultural-economy fort, so at the top is a gianormous stockpile for prepared meals, the level below that is the kitchens, the level below that is dry-goods storage, and the level below that is the farms and seed stockpile. Very nice, very neat, very efficient.

I knew going in that I might someday want more stockpiles, or a minimal metal industry or whatever. So I said to myself, "I'll just extend the fortress downwards when the time comes, and I promptly forgot all about it.

Now the time has come to expand downwards, and  what's that I see? My main high-pressure water pipe runs through the next Z-level down, right through where my stairwell would go?

Facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: magic dwarf on December 08, 2010, 04:01:56 pm
I was getting bored of my outdoor village fort, so i decided to build an excessively massive glass dome ceiling to stop buzzards from doing their occasional shenanigance. I decided to do it by creating up/down stairs on the inside so that my dwarves could build the glass, bla bla bla, it comes time to destroy the stairs. I was afraid that some of my dwarves would be dumb enough to destroy the stairs they're standing on... THEY DIDN'T!!!! instead i forgot that destroying stairs creates a stone, which falls down onto the village i was trying to protect... IT was LITERALLY raining BRICKS!, thankfully only cats were injured in this :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on December 08, 2010, 04:37:15 pm
Wait, but I thought falling items couldn't hurt things?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Corona688 on December 08, 2010, 06:44:07 pm
Never had things injured by falling things.  Either that's new, or, those kittens were mutilated by other means.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Supersquee on December 08, 2010, 07:15:18 pm
I just got my first forgotten beast, Oxut a giant three eyed Aphid with a cracked red exoskeleton and deadly spittle. It was pretty much one shotted by a mushroom blowdart from an Olmman. Anti climax no?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MonkeyHead on December 08, 2010, 07:31:42 pm
Putting the levers for my waterlock which feeds my vertical water drop into my hospital well next to one another. Thanks to not carefully puling the right one, my off duty soldiers now have a room to fish in...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: twilightdusk on December 08, 2010, 07:43:29 pm
Quote from: MonkeyHead on December 08, 2010, 07:31:42 pm
Putting the levers for my waterlock which feeds my vertical water drop into my hospital well next to one another. Thanks to not carefully puling the right one, my off duty soldiers now have a room to fish in...

"Why do I even have that lever?"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Icee77 on December 08, 2010, 08:33:31 pm
Well, i started a new fortress and come upon a group of elephants. When i looked, i saw they were undead elephants. Commence utter pwnage.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: twilightdusk on December 08, 2010, 09:15:01 pm
Suffice to say, I now know why it's important to locate frozen pools and set them to restricted traffic.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Knarfle on December 08, 2010, 10:19:36 pm
My mayor was a siege operator. I just had a liaison explode. WHY do they insist on standing directly in front of the ballista?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on December 09, 2010, 12:13:07 am
Just a minor one.

I've been making the caverns safe by caving in walls to block all the edges off. Pulling the lever for the last of the sections, part of it disappears and a few tiles of shallow water remain in the place where I should have a nice wall. So I forcequit and reload to try and figure out what's going on. Don't spot anything, so I go on with Plan B, which is the raising drawbridges. Turns out that the floor I was collapsing the wall onto was neatly lined up with the ceiling of the next cavern layer. Thing is, I already knew that cave-ins don't necessarily reveal the below terrain even if you're right on top of it, I just was not at all expecting the second layer to be right there and didn't think about it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ultimuh on December 09, 2010, 01:48:37 am
Quote from: Knarfle on December 08, 2010, 10:19:36 pm
My mayor was a siege operator. I just had a liaison explode. WHY do they insist on standing directly in front of the ballista?

Because it's the best way of getting someones attention..
..Well, one of them..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 09, 2010, 11:17:29 am
"Sir, please pay attention to me. Quit your f'n work and talk to me. If you continue then you will have acc*** ak! OOH! OW! yee... *dies*"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: proxn_punkd on December 09, 2010, 07:20:20 pm
So I noticed the river had frozen. Great! Now I can remove that floodgate and build in a wall so I can reclaim the mechanisms I used in building the floodgate to control my farm's irrigation!

I sent somebody to go remove the floodgate. Immediately the river thawed and flooded my fort.

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on December 09, 2010, 07:39:19 pm
Forgot in my current fortress that you had to manually assign ammunition to your military in the m-menu before they could use their crossbows the proper way.
12 years the marksdwarfs are trying to melee their targets to death. Several deaths. One lived long enough to become a hammerdwarf.

Worst part: I was not only aware of it while managing my previous fort, but I had also found that feature spontaneously. *facepaaaaaalms*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: iyaerP on December 09, 2010, 10:19:13 pm
Mining out a tube of cotton candy, managed to trap BOTH of my legendary miners at the bottom without a way up, and one of them is a starting 7. And so friends with half the fort. Can't WAIT for him to starve to death and start the tamtrum spiral.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ungulateman on December 10, 2010, 12:02:01 am
Quote from: iyaerP on December 09, 2010, 10:19:13 pm
Mining out a tube of cotton candy, managed to trap BOTH of my legendary miners at the bottom without a way up, and one of them is a starting 7. And so friends with half the fort. Can't WAIT for him to starve to death and start the tamtrum spiral.

Build staircases from above?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on December 10, 2010, 01:12:19 am
Quote from: iyaerP on December 09, 2010, 10:19:13 pm
Mining out a tube of cotton candy, managed to trap BOTH of my legendary miners at the bottom without a way up, and one of them is a starting 7. And so friends with half the fort. Can't WAIT for him to starve to death and start the tamtrum spiral.
Dump food and booze down?
Quote from: ungulateman on December 10, 2010, 12:02:01 am
Build staircases from above?
This as well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The_Final_Stand on December 10, 2010, 12:28:38 pm
Children will often walk into a danger room for no good reason.

One such child was impaled and slain in a single stab.

I was at least hoping he could provide some experience for my medics.

Babies are similarly brought in to a danger room. Not only does the spike hitting the baby deprive the mother of experience, but the mother will also never take her child to the hospital.

:facepalm:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 10, 2010, 02:01:24 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

and I just realized that I was playing .14 to boot :facepalm:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Supersquee on December 10, 2010, 04:28:22 pm
I just got taken out by Kobolds.

Yes, freaking Kobolds.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Frosty_Dorf on December 10, 2010, 09:27:46 pm
Quote from: Knarfle on December 08, 2010, 10:19:36 pm
My mayor was a siege operator. I just had a liaison explode. WHY do they insist on standing directly in front of the ballista?

not when I'm eating XD
good thing i didn't have food in my mouth
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kc_spot on December 10, 2010, 10:06:15 pm
Quote from: twilightdusk on December 10, 2010, 09:30:35 pm
The trick with controling hauling stuff, is to turn off the hauling labors on dwarves you don't want getting distracted, and specialize your idle haulers once you get a set number. The reason for this, is that dwarves will claim items for hauling even if they are in the middle of a hauling job (if you have 20 idle haulers, and you need 20 stone and 20 wood hauled, you may see 10 haulers moving wood and 10 moving stone, but each wood hauler has claimed a stone for hauling and vice versa. If you set it so 10 of them are wood haulers and 10 of them stone haulers, then the woods will stick to their wood and the stones to stone).

/facplam
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on December 11, 2010, 01:44:22 am
So, I've found 2 new things out about fluid physics in Dwarf Fortress:

1. Fluid behaves more realistically then I expected, meaning that if you channel a tunnel downwards, the horizontally, then back up one z-level, water that flows down the shaft will fill the horizontal area then travel up that one z-level.

2. A well will not stop water from overflowing and flooding your entire fortress, covering everything in mud.

Gotta build and remove floors everywhere.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on December 11, 2010, 03:00:15 am
Kept on giving dwarves the stonecrafting skill, wondering why nobody was Engraving the Memorial slab.  ::) It's stone, right? It's at the craftsdwarf shop, right?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 11, 2010, 03:26:14 am
it uses the stone detailing i think  ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on December 11, 2010, 04:20:32 am
Yup.

Ironically, I later discovered I had 6 engravers.  :-\ Some of them must have been migrants.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zhaine on December 11, 2010, 05:12:48 am
Forgot to build traps over entrance to fort, fire imp runs inside unnoticed.
manages to somehow end up in the booze storage area.

I then realize booze explodes  :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iados on December 11, 2010, 05:14:47 am
I channeled a tile that was stopping a murky pool from flooding the entire fortress...
I wanted to use the water for drowning invaders but i forget to build the floodgate! :'(

FACEPALM
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 11, 2010, 06:22:32 am
bronze colossi can't drown :facepalm:
fire doen't affect them as fast as humans :facepalm:
Spoiler: hfs (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: explanation (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iados on December 11, 2010, 08:47:17 am
I embarked in an area with salty water and I was trying to desalinate it by building a cistern made only of constructed walls and floor...

but I misplaced a wall, the area flooded, and my doctor dwarf(temporary pump operator) is now resting on river's bottom...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 11, 2010, 09:07:53 am
well I just took out a whole kobold civ, the only one on the (small) map, and didn't find anyone else.

THEN A DAMN KOBOLD, THE LAST ONE (legends) kicked me in the shin and I FELL DOWN 5 z-levels an drowned in water, along with the load of DB I was carrying...

...yeah.

P.S. There's a bronze colossus waiting stranded in a pond murky pool  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on December 11, 2010, 09:54:48 am
Fact: I slaughtered several Forgotten Beasts in highly-frequented parts of the partly-flooded caverns.
Fact: I had little regard for the risks implied by such a neglect, because I'm naively thinking I need more Fun and the water would wash away the crap anyway.
Fact: all tame animals that aren't restrained war dogs or piled up in a cage are sleeping, and they have been doing so for... huh, a while.
Fact: my mayor sleeps and eat a lot. I just found out today he specifically woke up just so he could drink, then went back to sleep.
Fact: I don't remember any monster causing comas, but maybe that's because they ate their victims before the extract affected them.
Fact: while my mayor is turning into a short alcoholic hibernating bear, there is one diplomat and one outpost liaison waiting for him to finish/start a meeting and promote him to baron.
Factual conclusion: I am a complete moron.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on December 11, 2010, 02:10:03 pm
Quote from: TolyK on December 11, 2010, 09:07:53 am
well I just took out a whole kobold civ, the only one on the (small) map, and didn't find anyone else.

THEN A DAMN KOBOLD, THE LAST ONE (legends) kicked me in the shin and I FELL DOWN 5 z-levels an drowned in water, along with the load of DB I was carrying...

...yeah.

P.S. There's a bronze colossus waiting stranded in a pond murky pool  :D

DB?  What is DB?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mattpoppybros on December 11, 2010, 02:44:56 pm
My mayor threw a tantrum for EXACTLY one frame. Oh and my entire army VS one Drathla that kept beating up people who wanted a drink of water? They broke ALL of it's legs and wounded the rest of it. Could they KILL it? NO! I had to build a CAGE TRAP so they wouldn't fight for 15 months! I did this WHILE fighting! Man, figure out how to DAMAGE things!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 11, 2010, 04:09:26 pm
Quote from: Rockphed on December 11, 2010, 02:10:03 pm
Quote from: TolyK on December 11, 2010, 09:07:53 am
well I just took out a whole kobold civ, the only one on the (small) map, and didn't find anyone else.

THEN A DAMN KOBOLD, THE LAST ONE (legends) kicked me in the shin and I FELL DOWN 5 z-levels an drowned in water, along with the load of DB I was carrying...

...yeah.

P.S. There's a bronze colossus waiting stranded in a pond murky pool  :D

DB?  What is DB?
How should I know? It's the middle of the night!  :-X
Anyways I meant loot. DB stands for something, maybe related maybe not. it could be database
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lowbart on December 11, 2010, 04:14:37 pm
Dwarfbucks?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 11, 2010, 04:21:48 pm
YES THANK YOU!
well that and other loot  ;)


btw I am giving out lots of cookies today.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: juanito89 on December 11, 2010, 06:48:42 pm
Quote from: Samuel on December 11, 2010, 01:44:22 am
A well will not stop water from overflowing and flooding your entire fortress, covering everything in mud.

I found out about this by flooding my hospital ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on December 11, 2010, 06:54:29 pm
Quote from: juanito89 on December 11, 2010, 06:48:42 pm
Quote from: Samuel on December 11, 2010, 01:44:22 am
A well will not stop water from overflowing and flooding your entire fortress, covering everything in mud.

I found out about this by flooding my hospital ;)
Hey, I also discovered that in my previous fort!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stoup on December 11, 2010, 07:13:55 pm
I forgot to take into account the fact that water physics are very hateful. Tried building a well from a brook in my dining room, and, thinking that the water would simply stop at the end of the channel which had a hole leading up to the dining room where I wanted the well, didn't bother placing a floodgate.

I also happened to have my entire food and booze supply on that level. It all got washed into a corner, then the water moved along and began flooding the lower levels. (This is an early fortress, it seems I was trying to take on a luxury too early [Before I had doors sealing separate levels])

A dwarven child that came in with a few immigrants was in his room when the water began flooding the living quarters, which stupidly enough I had placed on the bottom level of my complex. Fortunately, I was able to forbid the door before the water flooded in, and though I had no plan for how to free him I supposed dying of hunger was less torturous a death than drowning.

At this point, I had started making a burrow on the highest level of my fortress, so that I could seal off the lower levels, to avoid having the dwarves drown. With a stroke of inspiration, I formulated a plan: Dig a stairway down below the living quarters, create an enormous basin, then open it up to the fortress to drain it for long enough a time to seal up the well. Out of sheer boredom (or want of fun) however, I built the stairway before the dwarves really finished the room.

At this point, several odd things happened. One, the miner who built the stairway was pulled up from where he built the stairway, putting him in the flooded living quarters. I had lost faith in the fortress at this point, and I decided to open up the door of that poor dwarf child who was trapped.

After that, I went off to go look around at how much water had drained from the upper levels. Unfortunately, the room I created was only large enough to drain one and a half levels (the second level being lowered to 5/7 throughout). At this point, the stupid miner had, for some reason, been unable to swim back down the stairway, despite the fact that he could swim directly over it. He subsequently drowned. Yet oddly, I noticed no dwarf child's corpse. Turns out he somehow managed to get down that stairway, and when I looked him up he was on the top of the plateau my fortress was in, going to drink from the same brook that had just imprisoned him.

All the housing rooms, except that dwarf child's, were intact and water-tight. I take this as a lesson in the importance of z-level isolation, and the power of rivers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JacenHanLovesLegos on December 11, 2010, 10:07:56 pm
*Has no goblins but has 87 dwarves, is on year 3 autumn, and has a military + awesome defense* *Forgets what the civ screen on embark said or whether he checked it at all* *Facepalms*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on December 12, 2010, 04:06:49 am
so, I embarked on a volcano on a small island with aquifers... oops, need water for underground farming!

So I dug down intending to hit the aquifer and use some pumps to desalinate it and water my underground fields; I designate a column of stairs, go down... and I hit the cavern layer at it's highest point, but directly over water... which was quite a ways below my stairs...

The well shaft is 70 Z-levels deep.  It seems to take my dorfs 10 steps to lower the bucket 1 Z-level

Thus, it takes approximately 1400 steps for my dorfs to draw one bucket of water. which, according to the wiki, is about 1 and 1/6 days.

With multiple pond zones so another dorf can use the well while the first carries the water to my irrigation reservoir, it still takes several months to fill a 3x3x1 space with water.

--edit--

At this rate, I will be lucky to have two 5x5 underground farm plots running by the end of my third year... fortunately, I managed to get some plant gathering done and above ground farming started in the mean time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iados on December 12, 2010, 11:15:07 am
I dug a deep column of up/down stairs for finding magma, and finally found some at z-level -14...

but after 5 second or so:

Urist McRandomDwarf has starved to death

Forget to buy food from caravans, waiting for ice to melt for starting my farm, ALL animals dead... tons of Fun!

P.S.: Going to explore the fort in adventure :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 12, 2010, 11:52:46 am
well that's Fun. re-embark!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Qinetix on December 12, 2010, 01:50:56 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Another facepalm moment was when actually i found out that you need stairs in order to move a dwarf up , thats how some of my miners died :>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 12, 2010, 02:33:16 pm
please spoiler the first part for curtosey
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Qinetix on December 12, 2010, 03:26:45 pm
Quote from: TolyK on December 12, 2010, 02:33:16 pm
please spoiler the first part for curtosey

done
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zrk2 on December 12, 2010, 03:59:13 pm
In 40d:

Building a chasming device.

I put up wall around the bridge I pile garbage on to keep any batmen from swarming in. But I didn't know that bridges do not provide support for walls. I drop a migrant clothier and a thresher that were supposed to be repurposed into masons. They died of falling into the chasm. Then I try to go all around using floors so my wall can be built to always be connected to the ground. I forget to suspend their construction. Two kids this time. Then I get the floors built and start tearing some out for the walls. The two on the ends go first and I chasm my Dungeon Master, Tax Collector and Hammerer.

All legitimately on accident.

Now it is done and I have yet to use it.

I love DF.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iados on December 13, 2010, 08:49:13 am
I was building a little entrance-blocking device... a simple raising bridge, with some water under it.
but as soon as i channeled the tile blocking the water i noticed a dwarf.

a dwarf in the pit.
SLEEPING
R.I.P Urist McAnimalTrainer
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dorf3000 on December 13, 2010, 06:19:27 pm
I ran into some very strange dorf behavior today.  I was digging a giant pit from the ground down to an underground magma pool, to use as a trapped entrance. I wanted to dump the ores and gems I was digging out so that when I collapsed the suspended floors, they would be safe in some other part of the fort.  Well, they just wouldn't touch them.  Eventually I thought there must be some problem with the dump zone so I made a huge stone and gem stockpile, the dwarves would run to fill it then immediately take the stone and dump it.  It took me a good 5 or 10 minutes to realise that they weren't dumping anything Outside.... I'd forgotten to turn off the 'ignore outside refuse' option.  *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EvilJawa on December 13, 2010, 09:04:02 pm
"Reg Kemsorendok Woodcutter has been crushed by a drawbridge" *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: twilightdusk on December 13, 2010, 09:16:27 pm
Quote from: EvilJawa on December 13, 2010, 09:04:02 pm
"Reg Kemsorendok Woodcutter has been crushed by a drawbridge" *facepalm*

reminds me of the time that I tried to destroy an annoying, useless, unhappy dwarf with a drawbridge, only for my legendary weaponsmith to walk under as the bridge lowed. and said Urist McUnhappy to walk out of the path at the same moment. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist is dead tome on December 13, 2010, 11:37:38 pm
As a goblin ambush set in I ordered all workers inside for the military to be sent out. As it happened a fisherdwarf who was in my militia started running toward the gate, I, thinking everyone was inside, raised the drawbridge. The fisherdwarf (clad entirely in adamantine armor with axe and shield) kept on running, when I saw him I ordered it to be lowered. He ran up and started hammering on the bridge begging for it to be lowered. He ceased to exist. *Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skadan on December 14, 2010, 06:45:54 am
Not a facepalm monet in fortress mode but in adventure mode. I ragekilled all inhabitants i a armorshop and randomly killied  all peasants in the neighbor house because i didn't get my bronze high boots i bought. Then looked on the wiki and found out that you have to pick them up yourself.
I also found out that you can crawl under pepole the is standing in your way instead of waiting for thme to move.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on December 14, 2010, 07:57:12 am
A Forgotten Beast, an eyeless serpent with a shell and venomous blood, instead of going right for the fortress, stalks its victims deeper in the caverns before biting their limbs off. It kills 4 dwarfs, among which a talented surgeon and a baby. All my military is after it, even though I know venomous blood = Fun.
It climbs up some carved stairs and decides to attack a planter. It rips his left hand off, then the guy decides to counter-attack and punch it.
Bikda Usaneslul, monster from oblivion, slithering stalker, hater of all that is good, short and hairy, dodges, falls 4 z-levels down, and cracks its skull open.
...
... well, the fort was overpopulated anyway.
*off to rewards the dwarf in some way while facepalmiiiing*

EDIT: THERE ARE MORE MIGRANTS COMING
WTF GUYS WHAT DID I JUST SAY
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on December 14, 2010, 08:12:50 am
I just got my first mayor in this fort. They instantly mandate a ban on exported goods "Well that can't be too bad I hope. Ahhh, it's adamantine, so I'm safe. I doubt I will ever mine it, let alone trade it"

I carry on smiling at my near miss of having to make adamantine items for a few more seconds untill it hits me. They like adamantine.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on December 14, 2010, 08:18:16 am
I never found that to be a big deal. You don't really export it much anyway, and it's trivial to keep a few wafers around for madates once you get the stuff.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on December 14, 2010, 08:24:16 am
Well I'm not a very experience player, and this fort isn't very old. I'm only just getting a military.

I don't have a captain of the guard though, so the only person who will get hurt is the mayor. That is IF he wants any...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zwei on December 14, 2010, 08:36:52 am
Quote from: UnrealJake on December 14, 2010, 08:24:16 am
Well I'm not a very experience player, and this fort isn't very old. I'm only just getting a military.

I don't have a captain of the guard though, so the only person who will get hurt is the mayor. That is IF he wants any...

Consider fact that creating strands and then waffers should fullfill mandate (same way as creating steel bar fullfills mandate for steel item).

So, for earch raw mined rock, you should get at least three mandate fullfills (strand, waffer, item). That is not too bad.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on December 14, 2010, 09:05:31 am
Ohhh, I had no idea... well when the time comes, I'll do that. Thank you!

I also "learned" yesterday that elves no longer react to chopping down lots of trees. I was now told today they do. I've already chopped down an entire forest, and I'm thorougly confused.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sphalerite on December 14, 2010, 09:09:02 am
Quote from: UnrealJake on December 14, 2010, 09:05:31 am
I also "learned" yesterday that elves no longer react to chopping down lots of trees. I was now told today they do. I've already chopped down an entire forest, and I'm thorougly confused.
The elves don't like it if you cut down trees, but in the current unmodded version there is no diplomat position in the elven civilization.  Without a diplomat position defined in the entity raws they can't send someone by to ask you to agree to not cut down trees.  If they can't get you to agree to not cut down trees, they can't declare war on you for breaking your agreement.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on December 14, 2010, 09:12:33 am
Quote from: Sphalerite on December 14, 2010, 09:09:02 am
Quote from: UnrealJake on December 14, 2010, 09:05:31 am
I also "learned" yesterday that elves no longer react to chopping down lots of trees. I was now told today they do. I've already chopped down an entire forest, and I'm thorougly confused.
The elves don't like it if you cut down trees, but in the current unmodded version there is no diplomat position in the elven civilization.  Without a diplomat position defined in the entity raws they can't send someone by to ask you to agree to not cut down trees.  If they can't get you to agree to not cut down trees, they can't declare war on you for breaking your agreement.

Cheers. I was told that but now that's more evidence to support it. Anyway, on topic!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iados on December 14, 2010, 10:35:06 am
I've created a good fortress... magma(volcano = easy life), happy dwarves, a crossbow artifact...
then i switched to ASCII graphics(was using Phoebus pack), don't liked it, and closed the game for switching back, and clicked the F***ING ABANDON FORTRESS!!!

EPIC FACEPALM
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nickdx on December 14, 2010, 10:56:41 am
My Legendary Ambusher/Archer/Marksdorf had a wife and three kids.
I always worried about him when he went on hunts (i'm playing on an evil biome), so I assigned 7 war dogs to him, in case he got abushed.

Meanwhile, I had a danger room of single wooden spears (masterfully crafted) with some peasantry having fun on there raking up their skills.
The danger room was based not only on pressure plates on the outside, but also with a lever inside the room itself, with the "Pull the lever" on the Repeat mode.

My UristMcLegendaryArcher went there to pull the lever while I was checking my magma forges 100 floors below, and when I went to the danger room again, there were several war dogs corpses lying around. Apparently, wooden spears are extremely dangerous to pets, so UristMcLegendaryArcher is now known as UristMcMiserableLost7PetsToTragedy or, as he is known by other dorfs in the fort UristMcTantrummer...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aner-Dyfan on December 14, 2010, 12:08:19 pm
I just released a bronze colossus from it's cage with only wrestlers in my military...

Edit:

Double facepalm! Colossus is now residing in the dining room trapping 40 out of 100 of my dwarves there. Only a couple of military deaths so far, but they are getting dehydrated and hungry. Unhappiness is beginning to settle now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iados on December 14, 2010, 02:50:06 pm
this isn't exaclty a facepalm, more a "OMGWTF" moment...

Reclaimed the fortress i abandoned two posts ago, all OK... about an hour after the first migrant wave I looked to the unit list and saw:

Urist McLeatherworker: Deceased

how the hell he died, it's a mystery.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MagmaMcFry on December 14, 2010, 03:14:53 pm
Started my computer, opened DF, hit ">" and cried out in the pain my recently bowled-out and currently swollen finger applied to me.
I can't use my hand at all without feeling extreme pain.

Facepalm... OUCH... Facepalm x2 Combo!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Harbinger on December 15, 2010, 12:07:52 am
Quote from: Iados on December 14, 2010, 02:50:06 pm
this isn't exaclty a facepalm, more a "OMGWTF" moment...

Reclaimed the fortress i abandoned two posts ago, all OK... about an hour after the first migrant wave I looked to the unit list and saw:

Urist McLeatherworker: Deceased

how the hell he died, it's a mystery.

Had that happen to a dorf that went insane when he didn't get amy silk for a mood. After a while, I got the message "Urist McMoody has died in the heat".

near as I can tell, he ran out the open front door and swan dived into the magma pipe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: twilightdusk on December 15, 2010, 01:34:10 am
Quote from: Iados on December 14, 2010, 02:50:06 pm
this isn't exaclty a facepalm, more a "OMGWTF" moment...

Reclaimed the fortress i abandoned two posts ago, all OK... about an hour after the first migrant wave I looked to the unit list and saw:

Urist McLeatherworker: Deceased

how the hell he died, it's a mystery.

Possible that he died at the start of the embark by standing on a frozen lake as it thawed?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Keldane on December 15, 2010, 02:27:25 am
Modded in a new race today. Happily watched the development of a fort in a rather inhospitable clime. Facepalmed hard when I remembered that this new race didn't have the [FIREIMMUNE_SUPER] tag. Remembered this because my dragonfire-breathing war drakeling roasted a bunch of my dorfalikes when a goblin snatcher showed up. Abandoned the fort because the fire blast also caught a quantum stockpile full of what became !!bituminous coal!! and !!lignite!!, causing my FPS to drop to unplayable levels.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iados on December 15, 2010, 07:19:46 am
Quote from: twilightdusk on December 15, 2010, 01:34:10 am
Possible that he died at the start of the embark by standing on a frozen lake as it thawed?

no, no frozen lake (i am in a scorching climate, near a volcano). and she was a dwarf of the first migrant wave.

and no, she wasn't swimming in lava. maybe one of the warthog wandering near the fortress...?

Edit: looking at the status screen i saw "Her upper body is gone". I also noticed some elephant wandering around... solved the mystery!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on December 15, 2010, 09:45:20 am
Quote from: Iados on December 15, 2010, 07:19:46 am
Quote from: twilightdusk on December 15, 2010, 01:34:10 am
Possible that he died at the start of the embark by standing on a frozen lake as it thawed?

no, no frozen lake (i am in a scorching climate, near a volcano). and she was a dwarf of the first migrant wave.

and no, she wasn't swimming in lava. maybe one of the warthog wandering near the fortress...?

Edit: looking at the status screen i saw "Her upper body is gone". I also noticed some elephant wandering around... solved the mystery!
Well, all dead things are described as having their "upper body gone" whether or not they suffered related injuries...

edited out a bad case of Department of Redundancy Department
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iados on December 15, 2010, 10:49:12 am
Quote from: Musashi on December 15, 2010, 09:45:20 am
Quote from: Iados on December 15, 2010, 07:19:46 am
Quote from: twilightdusk on December 15, 2010, 01:34:10 am
Possible that he died at the start of the embark by standing on a frozen lake as it thawed?

no, no frozen lake (i am in a scorching climate, near a volcano). and she was a dwarf of the first migrant wave.

and no, she wasn't swimming in lava. maybe one of the warthog wandering near the fortress...?

Edit: looking at the status screen i saw "Her upper body is gone". I also noticed some elephant wandering around... solved the mystery!
Well, all dead things are described as having their "upper body gone" whether or not they suffered related injuries or not...

ah...

FACEPALM
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Qinetix on December 15, 2010, 02:45:20 pm
Guess wath a dwarf of mine a metalsmith got posseded , and guess what... he made a
ZINC DOOR?! with some decoration , atleast it was the only artifact in the hole world  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 15, 2010, 03:17:36 pm
if you have very important nobles, build it in their room.

actually, now that I think about it just build it as the door to the dining room and re-"designate" the room (bad term, can't think rite now)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Krall on December 15, 2010, 07:06:04 pm
Quote from: Qinetix on December 15, 2010, 02:45:20 pm
Guess wath a dwarf of mine a metalsmith got posseded , and guess what... he made a
ZINC DOOR?! with some decoration , atleast it was the only artifact in the hole world  :P

Something similar happened to me once, only it was an iron door. The door actually had an image of itself on it, which logically would mean that image of the door would have an image of the image on the door on it, which would have an image of the image of the image on the door, and so on and so forth ad infinitum.

I think I put it in as the main door to my dining room, that way lots of my dwarves would see it on a regular basis and get happy thoughts (and not subsequently murder one another).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Captain Insano on December 15, 2010, 09:07:26 pm
I had FIVE bucket artifacts in a row. On the same fort. All of them made of STONE. WHAT.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Harbinger on December 15, 2010, 11:00:34 pm
Quote from: Krall on December 15, 2010, 07:06:04 pm
Quote from: Qinetix on December 15, 2010, 02:45:20 pm
Guess wath a dwarf of mine a metalsmith got posseded , and guess what... he made a
ZINC DOOR?! with some decoration , atleast it was the only artifact in the hole world  :P

Something similar happened to me once, only it was an iron door. The door actually had an image of itself on it, which logically would mean that image of the door would have an image of the image on the door on it, which would have an image of the image of the image on the door, and so on and so forth ad infinitum.

I think I put it in as the main door to my dining room, that way lots of my dwarves would see it on a regular basis and get happy thoughts (and not subsequently murder one another).

recursive.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on December 16, 2010, 12:40:18 am
Quote from: Iados on December 14, 2010, 02:50:06 pm

how the hell he died, it's a mystery.
You can alter the announcements so that deaths are announced and recentred in the same way as artifact creation.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: iyaerP on December 16, 2010, 03:23:36 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on December 16, 2010, 12:40:18 am
Quote from: Iados on December 14, 2010, 02:50:06 pm

how the hell he died, it's a mystery.
You can alter the announcements so that deaths are announced and recentred in the same way as artifact creation.

HOW????

also: facepalm moment for me, a FB had somehow gotten up onto the hole I breached in the third cavern layer with my staircasing. it couldn't path to any of my dorfs, not even with its wings, but it COULD hang out and scare EVERY SINGLE ONE who was supposed to be retrieving metal for strand extraction.

So I stationed my military in the room and had a miner dig out the intervening wall in hopes that it would come to us. No such luck. the military charges out to fight on the dire precipice, and while they slay the dread snail fell-beast without trouble, my third best legendary axedorf. the latest one to recieve a title, and the unique job title of "choppa" dodged off the cliff into a 40 zlvl drop of the caverns. He amazingly survived the fall with only 3 broken limbs and damaged internal organs. He drowned shortly thereafter.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aspgren on December 16, 2010, 05:08:32 am
Today, when traders were in my fort, I get the message "SNATCHER! PROTECT THE CHILDREN!" .. but the camera zoomed out into the desert. I thought "oh fuck, some child wandered off and now he's a goner!" so i check the inventory of the snatcher but ... no child.

 Confused, I unpause. immediately it re-pauses with "THIEF! protect the hoard from the skulking filth!"

 :D ... a goblin had run into a kobold thief on the outskirt of the map and they decided to blow eachothers cover by shouting warnings to my dwarves
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on December 16, 2010, 06:30:47 am
I get that with goblin squads containing a snatched dwarf. Fun ensues every time, at least for them. It's a real pain, since they still rise as ghosts and ghosts kill my FPS and I have 14 dwarves inside and several dozen assorted corpses outside and I am not opening the drawbridge without switching invaders off.

To change announcements, go to data / init / announcements.txt and make the following change:

[CITIZEN_DEATH:A_D:D_D] (or whatever it was originally)
to
[CITIZEN_DEATH:A_D:D_D:BOX:P:R]

This adds a pause and recentre, and a popup box.

Some other ones you might find useful:

[CAVE_COLLAPSE:A_D:D_D:P:R]
[DIG_CANCEL_WARM:A_D:D_D:P:R]
[DIG_CANCEL_DAMP:A_D:D_D:P:R]
[CARAVAN_ARRIVAL:A_D:D_D:P:R]

to

[CAVE_COLLAPSE:A_D:D_D]
[DIG_CANCEL_WARM:A_D:D_D]
[DIG_CANCEL_DAMP:A_D:D_D]
[CARAVAN_ARRIVAL:A_D:D_D:P]

which removes the pause-and-recentre behaviour for caveins, warm or damp stone, and caravan arrival. Caravans will still pause the game, but they won't change the focus.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fishbulb on December 16, 2010, 07:01:21 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on December 16, 2010, 12:40:18 am
You can alter the announcements so that deaths are announced and recentred in the same way as artifact creation.

Beware, though! Unless there's a way to do it other than the way I did it, the pause-and-center thing also applies to animals that you butcher. Every couple of seasons, when the kittens and puppies come, I have a frustrating little pause-center storm that nearabouts drives me up the wall. It's worth it, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on December 16, 2010, 09:52:17 am
Quote from: iyaerP on December 16, 2010, 03:23:36 am

This may call for science.  I have noticed that deep water actually appears to significantly reduce falling damage now.  Despite the long held belief that it does nothing.

I first noticed it when I filled my dodging trap up with water to try to up the lethality.  Before it was filled with water goblins would reliably shatter bones from the 2 z-level fall.  After I filled it with water, it never inflicted falling damage again.  Seeming to behave like a 1 z-level fall. Still drown them nicely though.  Was the water your guy fell into more than 1 z-level deep?  I think that may have something to do with it. 

Where the heck is the dwarven mythbusters thread when I need it...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 16, 2010, 10:08:26 am
the thing is that water and magma (don't ask if you don't wanna know) keep the speed of falling the same. so falling into an abyss that's 100 z-levels of water (provided 1 z-level fall before hitting water)  is actually BETTER than falling off a 20 z-level cliff.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iados on December 16, 2010, 02:10:00 pm
1: Forgetting that mining designation doesn't cancel the floor above the tile.
R.I.P. Urist McMiner

2: Raised the 2 bridges at fortress entrance for blocking outside a thief, one soldier get stuck between them. Lowered them.
R.I.P. Urist McSoldier
EDIT: also R.I.P Urist McPaesant, died with McSoldier
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on December 16, 2010, 04:10:55 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on December 16, 2010, 06:30:47 am
I get that with goblin squads containing a snatched dwarf. Fun ensues every time, at least for them. It's a real pain, since they still rise as ghosts and ghosts kill my FPS and I have 14 dwarves inside and several dozen assorted corpses outside and I am not opening the drawbridge without switching invaders off.

That is what slabs are for.  The real problem is finding the dwarves to memorialize in the listing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on December 16, 2010, 04:28:27 pm
I don't have any pause boxes with butchered animals. The only line you need to change for dwarves is the one about citizen deaths.

Quote from: Rockphed on December 16, 2010, 04:10:55 pm
That is what slabs are for.  The real problem is finding the dwarves to memorialize in the listing.
They're either not in the listing, or they're one of the blank entries. But since they vanish off the units list (the very first message of the fortress was the one about horrifying screams... those aren't on the units list any more), it's more likely to be the first.

Although... there's a dead snatched hammerdwarf lying around who's still in the Unit list. I'll see what happens once I get the haunting message.

Edit: No haunting message, just the slowdown. Dwarf does not appear in the unit list except when hovering around, and does not appear in the memorial list even when on the unit list as Undead. At that point the only way of getting rid of the ghost is to manually shove it in a coffin.

Pre-emptively creating a memorial keeps the dwarf as Deceased and avoids the whole mess.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: twilightdusk on December 16, 2010, 05:04:11 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on December 16, 2010, 04:28:27 pm
(the very first message of the fortress was the one about horrifying screams...

That's...your map opens down right into the HFS.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 16, 2010, 05:08:48 pm
HEY POST THAT SAVE RIGHT NOW PLEASE AS A COURTESY TO THE FORUM. THANK YOU!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on December 16, 2010, 05:15:04 pm
Which it shouldn't do because the blue stuff is below ground where it should be, and jumping to the announcement took me to an unrevealed patch of rock on... some level I forgot to make a note of. The site geography is a little unusual, although I don't know if it's strange at all. The magma starts at level 114 and the map bottoms out at 2. I followed it down to level 96 or so, and it seems that the spires are just very long.

No need for caps, it's really not that exciting. Although I can still post it if you want to do experiments.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 16, 2010, 05:21:47 pm
yes please
sorry I just hit my caps lock key unconsiously. I love experimenting with these things. i once got 5 embarks of 200 war dogs to take them out. and idiot dwarves too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on December 16, 2010, 06:17:58 pm
Right, this is odd. In trying to pin down the embark tiles needed to get the announcement (which originates on level 2), I found... well...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

So uh, god knows what's actually down there if you get a functioning embark.

Here are the worldgen settings

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

and a map

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

and the mods that are up (I think I got them all).

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

If that doesn't work then I'll try and get something up on DFFD, but I haven't used it before.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Oglokoog on December 16, 2010, 07:20:32 pm
Quote from: TolyK on December 16, 2010, 10:08:26 am
the thing is that water and magma (don't ask if you don't wanna know) keep the speed of falling the same. so falling into an abyss that's 100 z-levels of water (provided 1 z-level fall before hitting water)  is actually BETTER than falling off a 20 z-level cliff.

No, that is not true. A dwarf can fall infinity z-levels and as long as he drops into two (or possibly three) level high water, he'll be perfectly fine (if we disregard the drowning issue).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shootandrun on December 16, 2010, 09:17:49 pm
So I had the wonderful idea of training my military dwarfs at swimming. I am in a terrifying beach, so I thinked it would be useful. But of course, at the same time two zombie whales were breaking in my fortress, going into an rampage and killing dwarfs quickly. So I sended my military, and then every thing failed in my life.

The whales basically did a massacre. Any soldier that was not dead at that moment was in coma for is whole life. And at the same times... Ogres. Three. Near of my fortress. They entered, passed the last whale alive (she was about to die anyway) and started another killing spree. The population of my fortress had dropped from 134 to 116 because of the whales, and now the ogres were just having fun with my civilians.

But of course, I had a plan. All the defenses of my fortress were down, the ten military dwarves were dead, I had ogres killing the cook in the dining room and zombie beasts could enter in my fortress (at this point, there was a little army against me, because I had never tried to make the zombie population outside of my fortress decrease) but I  had a goddamn epic plan.

 All the 103 dwarfs still alive retreated into the deepest part of my fortress. I was doing a little challenge in this fortress and all my dwarfs were trained to fight, a little bit. But of course I had no equipment for them. So deep in my fortress, near the tree farm, i cutted all the trees of the underground and built a carpenter workshop to build wooden armors and shields, as much as possible, while the bad guys in the top were breaking doors and statues, getting near... I digged out after that some of the obsidian layer of my map and then built obsidian shortswords. At the end, half of the dwarfs were equipped with all this scrap before the ogres finally breaked in. And the massacre started again.

Killing, killing and killing. Dorfs flying across the room. The mayor getting owned by a zombie kraken and bleeding to death. The new milita commander, the only one with steel armor and weapons, got destroyed by a zombie tiger. But at the end, I won. 34 dorfs were still alive and nearly nothing else was living on the map. They returned up in the higher levels, reconstructed the doors, rebuilded the defenses, and the fortress started to live again. And then...

Forgotten Beast McWeirdName come in the fortress. It is a giant bear of fire, capable killing dwarfs with his venom.

/Facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Harbinger on December 16, 2010, 09:52:08 pm
Quote from: Shootandrun on December 16, 2010, 09:17:49 pm
So I had the wonderful idea of training my military dwarfs at swimming. I am in a terrifying beach, so I thinked it would be useful. But of course, at the same time two zombie whales were breaking in my fortress, going into an rampage and killing dwarfs quickly. So I sended my military, and then every thing failed in my life.

The whales basically did a massacre. Any soldier that was not dead at that moment was in coma for is whole life. And at the same times... Ogres. Three. Near of my fortress. They entered, passed the last whale alive (she was about to die anyway) and started another killing spree. The population of my fortress had dropped from 134 to 116 because of the whales, and now the ogres were just having fun with my civilians.

But of course, I had a plan. All the defenses of my fortress were down, the ten military dwarves were dead, I had ogres killing the cook in the dining room and zombie beasts could enter in my fortress (at this point, there was a little army against me, because I had never tried to make the zombie population outside of my fortress decrease) but I  had a goddamn epic plan.

 All the 103 dwarfs still alive retreated into the deepest part of my fortress. I was doing a little challenge in this fortress and all my dwarfs were trained to fight, a little bit. But of course I had no equipment for them. So deep in my fortress, near the tree farm, i cutted all the trees of the underground and built a carpenter workshop to build wooden armors and shields, as much as possible, while the bad guys in the top were breaking doors and statues, getting near... I digged out after that some of the obsidian layer of my map and then built obsidian shortswords. At the end, half of the dwarfs were equipped with all this scrap before the ogres finally breaked in. And the massacre started again.

Killing, killing and killing. Dorfs flying across the room. The mayor getting owned by a zombie kraken and bleeding to death. The new milita commander, the only one with steel armor and weapons, got destroyed by a zombie tiger. But at the end, I won. 34 dorfs were still alive and nearly nothing else was living on the map. They returned up in the higher levels, reconstructed the doors, rebuilded the defenses, and the fortress started to live again. And then...

Forgotten Beast McWeirdName come in the fortress. It is a giant bear of fire, capable killing dwarfs with his venom.

/Facepalm

I am in awe of the sheer epicness of this...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: iyaerP on December 17, 2010, 02:16:23 am
Quote from: Harbinger on December 16, 2010, 09:52:08 pm
Quote from: Shootandrun on December 16, 2010, 09:17:49 pm
So I had the wonderful idea of training my military dwarfs at swimming. I am in a terrifying beach, so I thinked it would be useful. But of course, at the same time two zombie whales were breaking in my fortress, going into an rampage and killing dwarfs quickly. So I sended my military, and then every thing failed in my life.

The whales basically did a massacre. Any soldier that was not dead at that moment was in coma for is whole life. And at the same times... Ogres. Three. Near of my fortress. They entered, passed the last whale alive (she was about to die anyway) and started another killing spree. The population of my fortress had dropped from 134 to 116 because of the whales, and now the ogres were just having fun with my civilians.

But of course, I had a plan. All the defenses of my fortress were down, the ten military dwarves were dead, I had ogres killing the cook in the dining room and zombie beasts could enter in my fortress (at this point, there was a little army against me, because I had never tried to make the zombie population outside of my fortress decrease) but I  had a goddamn epic plan.

 All the 103 dwarfs still alive retreated into the deepest part of my fortress. I was doing a little challenge in this fortress and all my dwarfs were trained to fight, a little bit. But of course I had no equipment for them. So deep in my fortress, near the tree farm, i cutted all the trees of the underground and built a carpenter workshop to build wooden armors and shields, as much as possible, while the bad guys in the top were breaking doors and statues, getting near... I digged out after that some of the obsidian layer of my map and then built obsidian shortswords. At the end, half of the dwarfs were equipped with all this scrap before the ogres finally breaked in. And the massacre started again.

Killing, killing and killing. Dorfs flying across the room. The mayor getting owned by a zombie kraken and bleeding to death. The new milita commander, the only one with steel armor and weapons, got destroyed by a zombie tiger. But at the end, I won. 34 dorfs were still alive and nearly nothing else was living on the map. They returned up in the higher levels, reconstructed the doors, rebuilded the defenses, and the fortress started to live again. And then...

Forgotten Beast McWeirdName come in the fortress. It is a giant bear of fire, capable killing dwarfs with his venom.

/Facepalm

I am in awe of the sheer epicness of this...

SERIOUSLY. Shootandrun, My hat is off to you.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iados on December 17, 2010, 11:36:11 am
discovering water pressure

'nuff said, happens to everybody
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kaapelikala on December 17, 2010, 03:56:11 pm
Why, oh why. Why is my civ's leader a "Queen/drunk"?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Johuotar on December 17, 2010, 04:14:02 pm
Didn't know that bronze is better than iron.

Yes, I'm an idiot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zrk2 on December 17, 2010, 08:40:35 pm
Quote from: Johuotar on December 17, 2010, 04:14:02 pm
Didn't know that bronze is better than iron.

Yes, I'm an idiot.

Wait, what?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: twilightdusk on December 17, 2010, 09:11:50 pm
Bronze armor/weapons are marginally better than iron. It was more pronounced in earlier version where armor/weapon effectiveness was in % rather than complex formulas we still haven't entirely sorted out, but it's still somewhat better.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on December 17, 2010, 09:15:22 pm
In vanilla, iron used to be better than bronze. Now, with the more complex materials system, it's been reversed for wepons.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: iyaerP on December 17, 2010, 09:20:05 pm
But isn't iron still better armour?

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=53571.0

Seems to indicate that it is.

As for facepalm moments?

Earlier today I forgot to account for preassure when working on a megaproject that involved magma pumps. Fortunately for me and my project, my last save had been mere minutes ago so I was able to undesignate.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on December 17, 2010, 09:25:12 pm
Iron seems to be better for armor.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stoup on December 18, 2010, 12:13:10 am
Lost 20 dwarves in my first ever goblin siege. Went over fantastically apart from that; the only reason I lost so many was because they were caught in the mines (The only exit from which lead outside. I did this because I've gotten nasty hell from the beasties below in previous saves, so I wanted to be extra safe from em this time around.)

Also: I have taken every single goblin in the siege prisoner, except one who was murdered in front of his comrades along the cage line. I'm gonna be using them as training for a looong time :D

It's been a learning experience. And the dwarves who died were, luckily, not too important. Worst part of it all is my having 20 fps, with 99 dwarves running around dropping off corpses. Now to figure out prisoner dropoffs...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SirAaronIII on December 18, 2010, 12:31:11 am
Quote from: Stoup on December 18, 2010, 12:13:10 am
It's been a learning experience. And the dwarves who died were, luckily, not too important. Worst part of it all is my having 20 fps, with 99 dwarves running around dropping off corpses. Now to figure out prisoner dropoffs...
Build a tower of stairs, build a floor at the top, build the cage containing a prisoner of your choice there, make pit zone next to it, designate prisoner to be put in the pit, watch, laugh.

Anyway, I was in the middle of a siege when I sent my actually decent military guys out to engage the enemy at the beginning of the bridge instead of getting everyone inside and waiting it out. The gobbos probably would have killed themselves on all the traps.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stoup on December 18, 2010, 12:34:09 am
Quote from: SirAaronIII on December 18, 2010, 12:31:11 am
Quote from: Stoup on December 18, 2010, 12:13:10 am
It's been a learning experience. And the dwarves who died were, luckily, not too important. Worst part of it all is my having 20 fps, with 99 dwarves running around dropping off corpses. Now to figure out prisoner dropoffs...
Build a tower of stairs, build a floor at the top, build the cage containing a prisoner of your choice there, make pit zone next to it, designate prisoner to be put in the pit, watch, laugh.

Anyway, I was in the middle of a siege when I sent my actually decent military guys out to engage the enemy at the beginning of the bridge instead of getting everyone inside and waiting it out. The gobbos probably would have killed themselves on all the traps.
Well, my idea was more along the lines of:
A. Bring them, in their cage, to a "slaughter room"
B. Strip them.
C. Allow my recruits to beat the living shit out of them, one at a time.
D. Piss on their corpses
THEN I would throw them into my moat, which contains plenty enough corpses already. Problem is I can't for the life of me figure out how to properly place an occupied cage...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on December 18, 2010, 12:42:32 am
[ b ]uild->[j]cage->[ x ]show individual cages.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 18, 2010, 12:49:10 am
[ x ] is what he means
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stoup on December 18, 2010, 12:51:03 am
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on December 18, 2010, 12:42:32 am
[ b ]uild->[j]cage->
  • show individual cages.
Thanks, that helps aplenty. X didn't show up, though after a bit more experimentation I found it out myself.

Another facepalm: I made my legendary miner my baroness. She was one of the founding 7, and she's one of the dwarves I most respect in my settlement (Ashsteel, for future reference) After she had injured herself trying to dig out the moat, I decided it was time to retire her. I didn't mind losing a miner, I could always forge more picks and labor was at an excess. (this is my first truly successful fortress, 120 dwarves at its peak) The only downside I've found to making her a noble? She's on the verge of suicide over the "pretentious burial arrangements of lesser dwarves".

My catacombs are in a coal vein I carved out...

On an unrelated note, I've decided to punish the goblins by locking them in the death chamber, and waiting for them to go insane/die of hunger
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ext0l on December 18, 2010, 12:56:48 am
Quote from: Stoup on December 18, 2010, 12:51:03 am
On an unrelated note, I've decided to punish the goblins by locking them in the death chamber, and waiting for them to go insane/die of hunger

I don't think that happens with goblins... Or any un-friendly creature for that matter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stoup on December 18, 2010, 01:05:39 am
Ah, damn. Well I still have a lot of options, I got a really interesting map. Should I:
1. Dump them down my waterfall, to rot among the dead crocodiles?
2. Keep them in my stockpiles till I can capture a powerful beast, then unleash it upon them?
3. Continue with the plan to use them as training dummies?
4. Place them on the areas of my map isolated by rivers, then pull up the bridge I brought them in on? This would keep away any of the wild crocodiles that wander into these areas to be shot at by my archers/scare people in my dining room
5. Build an execution tower? Though unnecessary ( I already have 2 places set for dumping that provide fatal drops) it might be fun to drop them and be able to collect the remains
6. Drown them? I have a noble execution chamber I epically failed at making, which is now flooded. I could channel into it from above, dump the cages then let them get stuck against the grating at the end for all eternity.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on December 18, 2010, 01:24:18 am
Dumping the cages themselves would do nothing, creatures inside don't need to breathe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on December 18, 2010, 01:30:39 am
How about building them in a plateau near a volcano, with a 1-tile wide "bridge" spanning the volcano? Then, connect all the cages, as well as a drawbridge, to a lever, and put weapon traps on all the tiles on the bridge? It'd be like the Goblin Olympics: Volcano Diving.

Bonus points: Put a large dining hall not too far from the platform/bridge, with an overlooking window view.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stoup on December 18, 2010, 01:31:39 am
Yeah, but the ground won't take kindly to having a goblin thrown at it...

Also: I have no magma on this map as of yet, so any magma traps are out of the question.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Angel Of Death on December 18, 2010, 01:34:04 am
Creating a hallway full of steel spikes to stop a siege.

And forgetting to link them up to a repeater. D:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on December 18, 2010, 01:39:26 am
Quote from: Stoup on December 18, 2010, 01:31:39 am
Yeah, but the ground won't take kindly to having a goblin thrown at it...

Also: I have no magma on this map as of yet, so any magma traps are out of the question.

You could always use water. Or spikes. Dwarves like spikes.

Quote from: Angel Of Death on December 18, 2010, 01:34:04 am
Creating a hallway full of steel spikes to stop a siege.

And forgetting to link them up to a repeater. D:

I'm still not sure how to do that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: iyaerP on December 18, 2010, 01:43:48 am
Quote from: MaximumZero on December 18, 2010, 01:39:26 am
Quote from: Stoup on December 18, 2010, 01:31:39 am
Yeah, but the ground won't take kindly to having a goblin thrown at it...

Also: I have no magma on this map as of yet, so any magma traps are out of the question.

You could always use water. Or spikes. Dwarves like spikes.

Quote from: Angel Of Death on December 18, 2010, 01:34:04 am
Creating a hallway full of steel spikes to stop a siege.

And forgetting to link them up to a repeater. D:

I'm still not sure how to do that.

I just use the lazy dorf's approach of having a lever in some place with high traffic like your dining hall or statue garden and then just link them all to it, and set "pull lever to" repeat
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Angel Of Death on December 18, 2010, 01:51:58 am
I once made a fortress with an unstopable military.

And I forgot to create a farm. My dorfs dehydrated and starved.


FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shardok on December 18, 2010, 07:29:50 am
My dwarves embarked on Ice. I didn't notice this because of the snow level keeping me from seeing where they embarked, I had wondered why I couldn't find the river on the map, but ignored it. Then the snow melts, and I see lush green and notice my wagon appears to be Right on top of Ice. Instant thought: Get everyone moving stuff off of the wagon. Afterward it hit me I could of just turned off temperature temporarily. That would be about 2 seconds after the Ice unfroze. Almost everything, except the anvil, and a few barrels of food got dropped right into the water, as well as a dwarf that was getting something from the wagon.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samohan25 on December 18, 2010, 08:32:05 am
(http://img.ie/images/3b571.png) (http://img.ie/)

What the...

Does this show something about my mayor's reputation in my fortress?

btw, this image wasn't stitched together, he was killed instantly after becoming mayor.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on December 18, 2010, 09:21:45 am
Quote from: Samohan25 on December 18, 2010, 08:32:05 am
(http://img.ie/images/3b571.png) (http://img.ie/)

What the...

Does this show something about my mayor's reputation in my fortress?

btw, this image wasn't stitched together, he was killed instantly after becoming mayor.

Shortest. Term. Ever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fishbulb on December 18, 2010, 09:39:13 am
Years later, rumors persisted that Mayor Zasitakum was killed by Goblin Castro, the Dwarf Mafia or even the militia-industrial complex.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on December 18, 2010, 02:26:04 pm
Quote from: NewSheoth on December 18, 2010, 09:21:45 am
Quote from: Samohan25 on December 18, 2010, 08:32:05 am
(http://img.ie/images/3b571.png) (http://img.ie/)

What the...

Does this show something about my mayor's reputation in my fortress?

btw, this image wasn't stitched together, he was killed instantly after becoming mayor.

Shortest. Term. Ever.

Eat it, William Harrison!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tinker Thinker on December 18, 2010, 04:51:48 pm
Winter has arrived!
[time]
Some migrants have arrived! (20)
Spring has arrived!
[time]
Some migrants have arrived! (9)
Summer has arrived!
[time]
Some migrants have arrived! (14)
Fall has arrived!
[time]
Some migrants have arrived! (10)
Winter has arrived!
[time]
Some migrants have arrived! (15)
Spring has arrived!
[time]
Some migrants have arrived! (5)
[time]
The Fortress has begun a Meat Exports industry on the Backs of the Infinite Stray Beasts that arrive with The Migrant Hordes!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on December 18, 2010, 07:21:29 pm
Theory: As doors are technically buildings, dwarves can't interact with them while fleeing. That's why when a dwarf is being chased by a giant, bloated lizard with a shell and a poisonous bite and ends up at the door in the fortress which is set so that he can enter but the horrifying, squad-killing abomination cannot, he will turn in the other direction, inevitably getting killed after being within two tiles of complete safety.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stoup on December 18, 2010, 07:48:29 pm
Just discovered two things: The danger of Alligators on a desert embark, and the speed-up glitch that occurs on embark.

Benny Hill music was played, at least in my head.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Captain Insano on December 18, 2010, 08:28:59 pm
I just dug into a volcano, forgetting about the pressure of the magma, and my miner was swept up and slammed against the end of the tunnel, exploding into a fine red mist. Body parts! Body parts everywhere!!

EDIT: Oh I also flooded my fortress with water.  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on December 18, 2010, 09:35:01 pm
My mayor is currently the only living thing in the fortress. He's in the hospital with various parts of his body dented. The rest of the fortress is filled with bodies, blood, and tons of miasma. The only hope for the fortress is that migrants might arrive before he dies of thirst.

He just banned export of chains.

I facepalmed at first, but then I realized that he likely is delirious from his injuries, or has lost his mind due to the deaths of everyone he knows. Then I got kinda sad.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on December 18, 2010, 09:47:18 pm
Quote from: Samuel on December 18, 2010, 09:35:01 pm
Then I got kinda sad.

Don't worry. I laughed for you.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stoup on December 18, 2010, 10:22:15 pm
Water pump+Brook+overflown reserveroir=flooded embark area. Unless my carpenter can step in in time and remove the pump, it'll eventually flood half my map. I think I can destroy it at some point by smashing the windmill with debris but damn will my site look ridiculous.
(in an attempt to create an underground reservoir safe from ice)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Harbinger on December 18, 2010, 10:31:10 pm
Quote from: Stoup on December 18, 2010, 10:22:15 pm
Water pump+Brook+overflown reserveroir=flooded embark area. Unless my carpenter can step in in time and remove the pump, it'll eventually flood half my map. I think I can destroy it at some point by smashing the windmill with debris but damn will my site look ridiculous.
(in an attempt to create an underground reservoir safe from ice)

maybe the beginnings of a FTW weapon?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stoup on December 18, 2010, 10:34:23 pm
I'm just waiting for the first caravans to arrive, I wanna see if they get drowned.

Think I'll just abandon this site, even though my chief medical dwarf managed to smash the pump. Revisit it in adv mode?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shardok on December 19, 2010, 04:36:42 am
I really should remember what this whole Temperature thing being on means...

I decided to use the nice river to irrigate the farms and got everything wet, then began to proceed to pump the water out of the farms so that they could be used, by the time I finally got everything in place and things were working it was late Autumn, and that's when I noticed it, ice. Instantly it hit me, Oh no... Now the water that I was trying to pump out of the fortress has turned to ice.

I really should of played with temperature and such turned on aeons back, just wouldn't run well on my computer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: iyaerP on December 19, 2010, 07:01:31 am
Quote from: Shardok on December 19, 2010, 04:36:42 am
I really should remember what this whole Temperature thing being on means...

I decided to use the nice river to irrigate the farms and got everything wet, then began to proceed to pump the water out of the farms so that they could be used, by the time I finally got everything in place and things were working it was late Autumn, and that's when I noticed it, ice. Instantly it hit me, Oh no... Now the water that I was trying to pump out of the fortress has turned to ice.

I really should of played with temperature and such turned on aeons back, just wouldn't run well on my computer.

This isn't bad. just mine out all the ice. Don't even need to pumpit.

As a bonus, make some ice walls.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shardok on December 19, 2010, 07:18:12 am
No Iyaer, it is bad. The water inside my fortress didn't freeze, only the water directly below where the pump was pumping (and the pump), thereby Freezing my pumping of the water. I ended up just opening the doors and letting the water flush out into the fortress, as it was down to about 4/7 and 3/7 everywhere in my farms. It tracked a bit of mud all over the place, but it fixed the abundance of water.

I have been mining out any frozen ice (for example, all of it above ground from where I was pumping the water to) though. Need it for making ice things eventually.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stoup on December 19, 2010, 04:27:16 pm
Just had a goblin prisoner escape from a death room. I should make sure they're less occupied next time I start my slaughter, but that will have to wait till I have fresh meatbags.

On the upside: I never realized just how many dogs I have running around my fortress. They caused him to jump off a bridge, but the lucky bastard managed to hit a bridge at a lower level. The fall wasn't fatal but he's unconscious and being gnawed on by 9+ dogs. It's actually a bit disturbing to see them in such a feeding frenzy  :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on December 19, 2010, 04:38:21 pm
Dogs suck at killing anything, but they make great meatshields. My fortress was attacked by a minotaur very early, we had no military that were armed (although afterwards our soldiers were decked out in masterwork steel armor wielding masterwork and artifact steel weapons) and he charged down the stairs, busted in the dining room and attacked some dogs. I drafted about 40 people and rushed the minotaur, he passed out from exhaustion because he was being attacked by about 50 people and 30 animals, we then mach-punched his brain out and threw him in the river. Nobody was lost, but we lost about a dozen dogs to his rampage.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dr McFacekick on December 19, 2010, 05:21:45 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

*Sigh* It was all going so well, too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stoup on December 19, 2010, 07:51:05 pm
Learned the hard way that water can "spray" horizontally, without any floor beneath it.

The hard way.

Though that isn't what killed my soon-to-be-legendary miner, it's a lesson I learned from the event.

Also: Be damn CAREFUL with water pressure. It's mind-bogglingly powerful.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on December 19, 2010, 10:21:32 pm
Quote from: Harbinger on December 18, 2010, 10:31:10 pm
Quote from: Stoup on December 18, 2010, 10:22:15 pm
Water pump+Brook+overflown reserveroir=flooded embark area. Unless my carpenter can step in in time and remove the pump, it'll eventually flood half my map. I think I can destroy it at some point by smashing the windmill with debris but damn will my site look ridiculous.
(in an attempt to create an underground reservoir safe from ice)

maybe the beginnings of a FTW weapon?

I just realized two things. 1. For the Win and F___ the World have the same initials. 2. They have the same meaning in Dwarf Fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on December 20, 2010, 12:10:41 am
FTW, FTW!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on December 20, 2010, 01:24:34 am
I embarked on a volcano with no flux (I think I mentioned some of my previous troubles) so I ordered some from my liason, and it arrived with the next caravan, yay!

My Mason decided that marble would be a great material for a door as marble is the only flux stone that isn't set green in the Z-Stones menu.

*face palm, apply directly to the forehead*

--edit--

Also, my dyer has a mood and just gave birth to a baby which is now crawling around my fort on its own...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on December 20, 2010, 01:32:50 am
Just built a giant 70-z level pump stack for magma with some 50 windmills powering it, turned it on.

It burst into flames and came crashing down all the way to the magma sea. It was made of wood.
God.
Fucking.
Damnit.

Oh well, time to do it again, but with steel this time!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ungulateman on December 20, 2010, 01:54:26 am
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on December 20, 2010, 01:32:50 am
Just built a giant 70-z level pump stack for magma with some 50 windmills powering it, turned it on.

It burst into flames and came crashing down all the way to the magma sea. It was made of wood.
God.
Fucking.
Damnit.

Oh well, time to do it again, but with steel this time!

[TEMPERATURE:NO]

lololol
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MagmaMcFry on December 20, 2010, 04:24:01 am
Quote from: ungulateman on December 20, 2010, 01:54:26 am
[TEMPERATURE:NO]

That's what the elves pray for when they see the magma approaching.

I believe in [TEMPERATURE:YES].
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on December 20, 2010, 07:26:23 am
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on December 20, 2010, 01:32:50 am
Just built a giant 70-z level pump stack for magma with some 50 windmills powering it, turned it on.

It burst into flames and came crashing down all the way to the magma sea. It was made of wood.
God.
Fucking.
Damnit.

Oh well, time to do it again, but with steel magma-safe stone (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/DF2010:Magma-safe) this time!
I personally prefer Dolomite.

Also: ...who turns temperature off? Play like a man Dwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zodel on December 20, 2010, 09:18:41 am
Accidently dropped a volcano on 4x Urist Mclegendaryminers head.  Debris rained down on my fort, suffocating Urist McLegendary Carpenter, x2 Urist McLegendarymason, and collapsing my hospital in on Urist McHouse.


I really should pay more attention...


On an added note, it's my fourth fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 20, 2010, 10:06:08 am
lulz
HAVE FUN!

(wait, how did you collapse a VOLCANO on your fort? they're uniform all the way down. plz explain)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on December 20, 2010, 10:08:25 am
Today, I learnt mining is a moodable skill.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zodel on December 20, 2010, 10:17:55 am
Wanted to roof over the volcano to stop various flying things getting in. So, without thinking, started mining on the same level I was doing a project. The mountain ABOVE where I was mining fell in. I had drained the volcano earlier to build a catwalk through it because it seemed awesome. It refilled, collapse broke catwalk. Much FUN ensured.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GreatWyrmGold on December 20, 2010, 10:37:49 am
Modded to make a goblin fortress.
Everyone started blinking blue arrows after a while. A thought, "Why don't you morons just drink from that brook? Oh, crap, it's several Z-levels underground!"
I had every miner start digging an emergency water tunnel, but failed. Everyone died almost simultaneously.

Reclaim: I've had most of my dwarves die when I had them replace the old miners and they decided to dig a big air shaft instead of the safety stairs. I only have two dwarves and a goblin ghost, along with a few pets I think. One dwarf is trying to attend a meeting on some ledge in the half-dug shaft; I forget where the other is. He's not taking a career in mining, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iados on December 20, 2010, 10:52:07 am
My 4 dwarven years old fort was running good, but with poor military. Suddenly...

An Ambush! Curse them!

Spotted by my leatherworker at the map edge, on a brook. Ok, my first ambush, send all soldiers out, forgetting the rows of traps and drawbridge i builded for locking everyone inside. [FACEPALM]

Goblin killed lots of dwarves (they chosed to go outside 5 second before ambush for gathering wood) and 4 soldiers, but fortress survived. Preparing to bury the corpses when...

An Ambush! Curse them!

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFU-

Two Ambush in a row = FUN!!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The Scout on December 20, 2010, 10:55:51 am
I learned my hunter will only carry 1 stack of bolts. Run, shoot 5 bolts, get some more.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fishbulb on December 20, 2010, 11:03:28 am
A play, by Fishbulb:

Curtain rises.

Fishbulb: I know. I'll train up my engravers by smoothing the entire fortress all the way down to the magma forges, then having them put some masterwork-engravery action in the bedrooms!

Dwarves: You're a genius!

Fishbulb: Okay, little engravers, do your stuff.

End of act one.

Curtain rises.

Planter dwarves: Dum de dee de dum. Hey, nice dining room.

Fishbulb: Oi. Shouldn't you guys be planting?

Planter dwarves: Can't help you, mate. No seeds.

Fishbulb: I'm looking at the stockpile right now. You have many seeds.

Planter dwarves: Oh, right. Plots. We meant no plots.

Fishbulb: There are many plots!

Planter dwarves: Right, not plots. That stuff. You know. Whatsitcalled. Like magma, but not burny.

Fishbulb: Blood?

Planter dwarves: Rhymes with blood.

Fishbulb: Mud!? There's mud all over the place! I rerouted the brook into the  and then I oh no.

Super-legendary engravers: Oh yeah. About that.

Fishbulb: Mein leben!

Exeunt, pursued by a bear.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Oglokoog on December 20, 2010, 03:44:50 pm
Quote from: Shootandrun on December 16, 2010, 09:17:49 pm
So I had the wonderful idea of training my military dwarfs at swimming. I am in a terrifying beach, so I thinked it would be useful. But of course, at the same time two zombie whales were breaking in my fortress, going into an rampage and killing dwarfs quickly. So I sended my military, and then every thing failed in my life.

The whales basically did a massacre. Any soldier that was not dead at that moment was in coma for is whole life. And at the same times... Ogres. Three. Near of my fortress. They entered, passed the last whale alive (she was about to die anyway) and started another killing spree. The population of my fortress had dropped from 134 to 116 because of the whales, and now the ogres were just having fun with my civilians.

But of course, I had a plan. All the defenses of my fortress were down, the ten military dwarves were dead, I had ogres killing the cook in the dining room and zombie beasts could enter in my fortress (at this point, there was a little army against me, because I had never tried to make the zombie population outside of my fortress decrease) but I  had a goddamn epic plan.

 All the 103 dwarfs still alive retreated into the deepest part of my fortress. I was doing a little challenge in this fortress and all my dwarfs were trained to fight, a little bit. But of course I had no equipment for them. So deep in my fortress, near the tree farm, i cutted all the trees of the underground and built a carpenter workshop to build wooden armors and shields, as much as possible, while the bad guys in the top were breaking doors and statues, getting near... I digged out after that some of the obsidian layer of my map and then built obsidian shortswords. At the end, half of the dwarfs were equipped with all this scrap before the ogres finally breaked in. And the massacre started again.

Killing, killing and killing. Dorfs flying across the room. The mayor getting owned by a zombie kraken and bleeding to death. The new milita commander, the only one with steel armor and weapons, got destroyed by a zombie tiger. But at the end, I won. 34 dorfs were still alive and nearly nothing else was living on the map. They returned up in the higher levels, reconstructed the doors, rebuilded the defenses, and the fortress started to live again. And then...

Forgotten Beast McWeirdName come in the fortress. It is a giant bear of fire, capable killing dwarfs with his venom.

/Facepalm
A creature made of fire will die if you tap it with a featherwood crutch. Not much to fear, really.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: twilightdusk on December 20, 2010, 04:02:34 pm
Quote from: Oglokoog on December 20, 2010, 03:44:50 pm
A creature made of fire will die if you tap it with a featherwood crutch. Not much to fear, really.

 Or just kicking it. (http://egscomics.com/?date=2010-10-08)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on December 20, 2010, 05:10:00 pm
I wanted my miners to make a pond-to-be a bit deeper, but apparently, there was an aquifer below. One of the poor miners, Thikud Idenlaltur, had just become legendary but now he got caught in aquifer water. And it was freezing. He was encased in a block of ice and is now my first, on this fortress, casualty. :( I wish I could assign a tomb to him, just to honour him, even though I don't have his body.

Oh, it does count as if he's buried. Good. I'll remove the bed from his room and place a statue instead.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on December 20, 2010, 05:24:35 pm
If you dig out the square, you should get his bones back.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on December 20, 2010, 05:34:52 pm
Hmm, I might try. Though it's still aquiferous terrain. I sort of hoped he'd float up when the ice melts, but that won't happen, will it? (If the ice is planning to melt at all.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MythagoWoods on December 20, 2010, 06:59:29 pm
Busy hallway fileld with civilians, siege operator, ballista, fire at will. (I thought I made a catapault!  Seriously!)
Hallway filled with poor dwarves.

Oops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tinker Thinker on December 20, 2010, 07:22:05 pm
I use yearly autosave.

I played through an entire year in one sitting, from winter to autumn. In late autumn, a kobold thief came knocking, I decided to let my military chase it as far as it would lead them with a kill order.

The game crashed the instant the kobold left the map, presumably because of the kill order.

What's more, I can't seem to get an account working on the bugtracker, so I can't even report this bug (if unknown).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sowelu on December 20, 2010, 07:36:10 pm
Quote from: twilightdusk on December 20, 2010, 04:02:34 pm
Quote from: Oglokoog on December 20, 2010, 03:44:50 pm
A creature made of fire will die if you tap it with a featherwood crutch. Not much to fear, really.

 Or just kicking it. (http://egscomics.com/?date=2010-10-08)
I do love that webcomic.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: twilightdusk on December 20, 2010, 07:40:07 pm
Quote from: Sowelu on December 20, 2010, 07:36:10 pm
Quote from: twilightdusk on December 20, 2010, 04:02:34 pm
Quote from: Oglokoog on December 20, 2010, 03:44:50 pm
A creature made of fire will die if you tap it with a featherwood crutch. Not much to fear, really.

 Or just kicking it. (http://egscomics.com/?date=2010-10-08)
I do love that webcomic.
*High five*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Oglokoog on December 20, 2010, 07:49:44 pm
Quote from: Tinker Thinker on December 20, 2010, 07:22:05 pm
I use yearly autosave.

I played through an entire year in one sitting, from winter to autumn. In late autumn, a kobold thief came knocking, I decided to let my military chase it as far as it would lead them with a kill order.

The game crashed the instant the kobold left the map, presumably because of the kill order.

What's more, I can't seem to get an account working on the bugtracker, so I can't even report this bug (if unknown).

No, if the game crashed every time a squad loses its target due to it leaving the map, it would be unplayable. Your bug was most likely either related to something else entirely or the kobold was some sort of special case - maybe he carried some item that shouldn't be carried or something like that.
Anyway, I play with seasonal autosave AND autobackup and so far it's saved my for more than once.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: twilightdusk on December 20, 2010, 08:12:11 pm
Quote from: Oglokoog on December 20, 2010, 07:49:44 pm
Quote from: Tinker Thinker on December 20, 2010, 07:22:05 pm
I use yearly autosave.

I played through an entire year in one sitting, from winter to autumn. In late autumn, a kobold thief came knocking, I decided to let my military chase it as far as it would lead them with a kill order.

The game crashed the instant the kobold left the map, presumably because of the kill order.

What's more, I can't seem to get an account working on the bugtracker, so I can't even report this bug (if unknown).

No, if the game crashed every time a squad loses its target due to it leaving the map, it would be unplayable. Your bug was most likely either related to something else entirely or the kobold was some sort of special case - maybe he carried some item that shouldn't be carried or something like that.
Anyway, I play with seasonal autosave AND autobackup and so far it's saved my for more than once.

Well, assuming he's playing on a mac or linux,  the bug has already been reported (http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/mantisbt/view.php?id=3555), and has been marked as acknowledged.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tinker Thinker on December 20, 2010, 08:19:20 pm
Und I am Lunix :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 21, 2010, 02:16:15 am
How do I get DF for linux (Ubuntu 10.4 LTS) without wine?

I can't use the tool my ISP gave me to hook up to the internet (to get Wine and such) 'cause I don't have wine  :D its great here.

*a few moments later*
seems there's no "linux version of DF"
*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hivemind on December 21, 2010, 02:53:13 am
Began in the bottom of a basin, with the spring of a brook and magma nearby. Easily defensible with some quick mining away of some slopes, through in an elevated drowning chamber as the effective airlock into the fortress proper. I was making use of the basin as a courtyard of sorts; outdoor farming, water source, trade depot. . . no fish unfortunately.

So winter rolls round. Brook freezes at a bend near the edge of the map, along a microline wall I've built across its' surface to block the map edge. Back towards the spring, water bursts through the top brook tiles and proceeds to fill the basin. Doors at my entrances to my underground farming, and into the fortress proper seal out the water, but the dwarven caravan I've been host to haven't developed gills.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheJackal on December 21, 2010, 08:26:15 am
Quote from: TolyK on December 21, 2010, 02:16:15 am
How do I get DF for linux (Ubuntu 10.4 LTS) without wine?

Use a real operating system?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 21, 2010, 09:59:15 am
three things:
1. lulz
2. hey! I can boot off my flash drive and play 3d shooting and racing games on an IBM laptop.
3. I use both windows and linux, thank you.
yeah...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tinker Thinker on December 21, 2010, 12:35:49 pm
@TolyK:

Go to bay12games.com/dwarves

assuming you're using firefox, or indeed any sensibly designed browser, hit ctrl+f and enter "linux" as the search term. If you can't find it after that, I cannot help you. Once you have it, it's pretty much the same to use as the windows version, though it may take some getting used to. There's a shell script that runs the game named 'df' instead of any sort of .exe though. If you want to get it in your menu, you'll have to take some extra steps.

(Written assuming you're new to the field:)
Go to http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DwarfFortress and save the page image, we'll use it as the menu icon. now go to System -> Preferences -> Main Menu ; highlight the games folder (or a subfolder you intend to use to store the item), and select "add item". The box that pops up, there's an icon insert where you can use that image to use as the menu icon, put "Dwarf Fortress" in for name, and the *exact* path to the df (For me, for instance, the path is /home/monarch/noninstalled\ games/df_linux/df) goes into the command section. Save it and you have a new menu entry for Dwarf Fortress, running natively and everything.

This message will also be PM'd to you.

@TheJackal: I find this amusing, since Ubuntu is ultimately a custom Debian install, so this implies Debian isn't a real OS either, and if Debian isn't a real OS, then Red Hat/Fedora, Arch, and any other package system (really the only thing distinguishing these various OSes, since they're based off of the same core components (Linux, who'd'a thunk'it)) are also not real OSes, leaving us with ones that are very carefully and deliberately user unfriendly unless you already know exactly what you're doing. My point is, every distro has its purpose.

My other point is, "use a real OS" is deader than cake being a lie or even, dare I say it, all your base belonging to us.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 21, 2010, 01:01:17 pm
thanks for the link.
I feel like an idiot now.
*facecomputer*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kg333 on December 21, 2010, 02:39:03 pm
Quote from: TheJackal on December 21, 2010, 08:26:15 am
Quote from: TolyK on December 21, 2010, 02:16:15 am
How do I get DF for linux (Ubuntu 10.4 LTS) without wine?

Use a real operating system?

There is a Linux version for 40d at least, so no need to be rude.

TolyK, here's the development page for 40d.  A link to the Linux version is under "Download links".

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=50514.0

KG
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dishwater on December 21, 2010, 04:26:03 pm
Horse invasion kill's six *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Oglokoog on December 21, 2010, 04:32:05 pm
Quote from: Dishwater on December 21, 2010, 04:26:03 pm
Horse invasion kill's six *facepalm*
Horses are unstoppable engines of death and destruction. You have no idea how lucky you were.

Also regarding the linux thing: there has been a perfectly working Linux version since 31.12 or so and it is VERY easy to find it on the bay12games.com/dwarves page.
TheJackal, what do you use? How stupid your reply was depends on the answer. If you use a more sophisticated Linux distribution and it was a discrespectful remark towards an user of the lowly Ubuntu, then you are merely a snob. If you use Windows, you're dumb. If you use Mac OS, then please kindly get the fuck out and go find a fire to horribly die in, thanks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shootandrun on December 21, 2010, 07:52:21 pm
Quote from: Dishwater on December 21, 2010, 04:26:03 pm
Horse invasion kill's six *facepalm*

I once tried to kill them all but I decided it was too long. I had the wonderful idea of letting someone else do it.

Hint: you don't want the someone else to die over time.
Hint: They come from the deeps.
Hint: I am talking of letting HFS get on them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on December 21, 2010, 08:53:23 pm
Computer has been wonky, hence long DF hiatus.  Lately it has been deigning to turn on.  New DF version!  Hooray!  I must generate a world!!

World generation (custom params imported from .16, volcanoes that go up to eleven) takes 4-5 hours.  That can't be right...  Oh well.  Wake up in morning, have nice happy world full of good and evil, and savagery out the hoo-ha.  Find entrancing site:  Volcano, small river, sand, flux, terrifying biomes.  Lovely!

Embark.  Hear horrifying screams immediately.

The volcano is draining through the lowest level of the caverns all the way into the circus, along with a water source that may or may not be infinite.

38 cavern collapses.  Had to turn off pauses in announcements.

Then the harpies came.

This would be the most awesome embark ever, but it has to go here because my FPS won't rise above the 2-6 range.  :[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AllThingsLive on December 21, 2010, 11:58:00 pm
Discovering a magma pipe and in my excitement losing 20 dwarves due to a crazy magma flood (Out of 24 dwarves)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheJackal on December 22, 2010, 10:18:29 am
I forgot to include an elf reference in one of my last posts, so it ended up sounding serious and mean. Instead of light-hearted and funny, I came across as a big fat jerk.




P.S I also forgot to mention that I run my own self-written OS, Lycopolis.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 22, 2010, 10:59:30 am
sweet
do you distribute copies? XD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheJackal on December 22, 2010, 02:41:09 pm
Quote from: TolyK on December 22, 2010, 10:59:30 am
sweet
do you distribute copies? XD

The point of having my own is mostly security based. How do I know you're not a CIA plant, hmmmm?
Or worse yet, an ELF?!?!?!?!

....I mean, sure you can have a copy. Just stand right there. Right under that grate. Don't mind the heated floors and walls. Lemme step out, then just pull that lever there for your copy!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ipwnurmom221 on December 22, 2010, 04:27:53 pm
Mistaking my cursor for a moving, teleporting, unselectable orthoclase up/down stairway that I never designated for construction.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Evanissimo on December 22, 2010, 05:34:13 pm
My new squads name. The symmetrical busts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on December 22, 2010, 06:00:33 pm
Before I could stash embark goods and wall my poor doomed embark party into a hole in the hillside, a clown attacked.  Drafted everyone.  The clown broke a single paw on an untrained dog.  Not a single scratch on any dorf.  And the local antpeople in the caverns took out two more clowns.

Must find way to improve FPS.  This site is too much Fun to abandon.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zwei on December 23, 2010, 02:31:49 am
Quote from: Ipwnurmom221 on December 22, 2010, 04:27:53 pm
Mistaking my cursor for a moving, teleporting, unselectable orthoclase up/down stairway that I never designated for construction.

"why arent they using that wooden stair? Oh, it is archery target..."

/facepalm

ascii can be fun :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lobster on December 23, 2010, 04:38:53 am
I'd made an automated bridge raising defence with a lot of pressure plates(or at least I thought I had), and a Hill Giant rocks up. It runs toward my fort, runs over the pressure plates, nothing happens, I panic and order the manual lever to raise the bridge. It takes too long for anyone to pull the lever and the Hill Giant is now in my courtyard.

I soon discover why no one was pulling the lever, as moments earlier the miners has breached the caverns and troglodytes had started pouring into my fortress. They end up in dining room and the vast majority of my dwarves panic and start running up my central staircase.

The Hill Giant has now found and started fighting my pet Giant Scorpion (i feel uncharacteristically thankful to the elves for bringing me that treasure). The Scorpion gets a few good hits in and now the Giant starts to leg it straight into about 30 dwarves running up away from the troglodytes.

So now we have a few moments where I look upon the chaos too stunned to do anything. I have a huge crowd of dwarves running away from a giant, in turn running away from a scorpion. They manage to do a good 3 or 4 laps of my courtyard (while my FPS plummets) before I realise that my gate was closed, someone finally managed to pull that lever. So I finally get someone else to pull the lever and the gate lowers, the Giant limps out of my fort chased by a Scorpion.

I. Love. This. Game.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: iyaerP on December 23, 2010, 06:31:33 am
Quote from: Lobster on December 23, 2010, 04:38:53 am
I'd made an automated bridge raising defence with a lot of pressure plates(or at least I thought I had), and a Hill Giant rocks up. It runs toward my fort, runs over the pressure plates, nothing happens, I panic and order the manual lever to raise the bridge. It takes too long for anyone to pull the lever and the Hill Giant is now in my courtyard.

I soon discover why no one was pulling the lever, as moments earlier the miners has breached the caverns and troglodytes had started pouring into my fortress. They end up in dining room and the vast majority of my dwarves panic and start running up my central staircase.

The Hill Giant has now found and started fighting my pet Giant Scorpion (i feel uncharacteristically thankful to the elves for bringing me that treasure). The Scorpion gets a few good hits in and now the Giant starts to leg it straight into about 30 dwarves running up away from the troglodytes.

So now we have a few moments where I look upon the chaos too stunned to do anything. I have a huge crowd of dwarves running away from a giant, in turn running away from a scorpion. They manage to do a good 3 or 4 laps of my courtyard (while my FPS plummets) before I realise that my gate was closed, someone finally managed to pull that lever. So I finally get someone else to pull the lever and the gate lowers, the Giant limps out of my fort chased by a Scorpion.

I. Love. This. Game.

That scorpion is a HERO
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GreatWyrmGold on December 23, 2010, 01:33:29 pm
Recently, I breached a cavern. I decided to breach an underground lake I had found.
The "muddy stone" was actually by and aquifer. And it was above my bedrooms. Thank Armok that the doors were closed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on December 23, 2010, 02:04:58 pm
Quote from: FrisianDude on December 20, 2010, 05:10:00 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


New fortress; I managed to get another miner encased in ice. :( This time I don't know which room was his. And this time it wasn't due to an aquifer, but because I wanted to make a channel a bit deeper and wider. Not sure how he managed to get in the water before it froze, but he died anyway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Horizon9 on December 23, 2010, 02:37:31 pm
Hoping my traps will hold off the goblin ambush after they slaughtered my military, only to realize that I forgot to link the pressure plates to my spikes.
I just caved in my forehead.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Soapalope on December 23, 2010, 02:47:46 pm
Right.
Spawn.
Send dwarves on orders.
Fisherman walks to nearby riverbank to catch some fish.
'An alligator has attacked!'
I press the look button, and look at the area.
'The hand of  something-somethingson'
'Alligator'
'Pool of blood'
'Pool of blood'
'Pool of blood'

Just how much blood do dwarves have?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bremarv on December 23, 2010, 04:51:15 pm
just noticed my Milita commander is 'Leading Biting Demonstration' to the new axedwarfs   ::)
just what they need to stay alive
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on December 23, 2010, 05:27:08 pm
Quote from: bremarv on December 23, 2010, 04:51:15 pm
just noticed my Milita commander is 'Leading Biting Demonstration' to the new axedwarfs   ::)
just what they need to stay alive
Hey, don't underestimate biting! From experience, once a dwarf manages to keep their grip on something and shake a limb, it will almost certainly sever arteries or nerves, and the smaller parts, like toes or ears, are very likely to get torn off and contribute to the blood loss!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stoup on December 23, 2010, 06:15:44 pm
But from a training standpoint, you've got a bunch of dwarves standing around... biting things. .-.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on December 23, 2010, 06:28:46 pm
I can just imagine the demonstration...
"And remember troops, you must turn your head 45 degrees to the right when trying to bite an arm, and you must bite with your front teeth first, and shake left and right to tear off smaller parts.."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on December 23, 2010, 06:38:07 pm
... well, yeah.

On topic: why the frig is the human diplomat in the water reservoir of the hospital well? There was a ramp leading to it that I neglected to get rid of, but... why the hell is she taking a bath in 6/7 deep water? It's not even clean! It's stagnant! And now she's stagnating there, too! And I need that well to drown all the paraplegic patients once the normal ones are done healing! I can't have a human corpse in that one well!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on December 23, 2010, 06:39:43 pm
Is the human diplomat actually human?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on December 23, 2010, 06:42:08 pm
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on December 23, 2010, 06:39:43 pm
Is the human diplomat actually human?
Last time I checked, yes. I have a law-giver in my well, and her name's not Sadako, nor is she dead. Yet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Saetar33 on December 23, 2010, 07:32:41 pm
Going into a desert with the sole purpose of acquiring giant scorpions and forgetting to set up cage traps.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AllThingsLive on December 23, 2010, 11:07:31 pm
Okay, so I have the complete opposite of a facepalm moment here...
So this crazy minotaur guy spawns and runs right into my fortress. I send all my dwarves deeper underground to a room surrounded with traps, except one of my original embark miners ( Legendary ) doesn't quite make it in. He gets gored by the minotaur and thrown on the ground. The minotaur proceeds to punch the hell out of his arms and legs...
Then out of no where, the miner strikes the minotaur in the head, killing it! Such a beast!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iados on December 24, 2010, 02:09:08 am
One about modding: trying to mod in a new creature, but forgot to insert a 0 in the token used to set creature temperature.

Result: a creature at 1070 U (instead of 10070), instantly freezing and dieing on spawn. for comparison, absolute zero is 9508 U

/EPIC facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on December 24, 2010, 06:54:15 am
Right, I had a nice system with multiple lakes connected to each other, filling my moat. And the moat had a small hallway somewhat beneath it from which I welled. Now the water's risen so much that the wells flooded and now there's water in my hallway, and for some reason my broker/herbalist forgot where the wells used to be and fell into it and drowned.  :-[

So, pussy that I am, I am starting a new one. I like starting anew.  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on December 24, 2010, 08:15:50 am
And now, I got two diplomats in the hospital well. Somehow, the dorf outpost liaison isn't drowning. I command his swimming skills.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shardok on December 24, 2010, 10:45:48 am
Digging down down down down down looking for the perfect spot to hide my valuable valuable coins. They're so shiny and must be kept buried beneath all of the other Z levels, with magma surrounding them, and magma in the hallways between where they are stored and where the stairs into them are. Yes, must make them safe. Safe I say. Oh hey, what's that? Adamantine? *designates to be mined carefully* Now, back to the coins, yes. Shiny and all, must be kept safe. *looks at current date* Late Winter? Waaahhh! I have to give my friend the save so he can start his part of the succession game... buh... so much Fun is awaiting me: Adamantine, the King, Magma filled coin chambers, and so much more.

Hmmm, I probably shouldn't be playing this succession game with people not accustomed to playing DF, this could be bad. But hey, they can't blame me for the fun that the magma brings, and besides, I found them a shiny blue type of stone that has to be fun to use. I mean, look how dangerously close it is to that magma!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zrk2 on December 24, 2010, 11:32:54 am
Well done
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The Scout on December 24, 2010, 11:33:54 am
Embarked on a river. Urist McUseful has drowned. x7
Embarked on a river which unfroze right when I started.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Soapalope on December 24, 2010, 03:15:06 pm
My horse just had a foal.

Without any member of the opposite gender.

Asexual horse?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The Scout on December 24, 2010, 03:29:00 pm
The trader stopped with his horse for more then one reason.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: billybobfred on December 24, 2010, 06:08:05 pm
Why is my mason not doing anything? ARGH HE IS NOT EVEN ON BREAK WHAT IS UP WITH oh I managed to build him into a corner. Whoops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on December 25, 2010, 12:39:35 am
Re-embarked on my volcano-draining-into-magma-sea-which-is-also-draining-into-the-caverns site.  There was a slight issue with not having any wood, due to being walled inside in order to avoid the free-roaming Red Ampersands that had set the surface on fire while killing every single thing that set foot on the map.

This site also had cotton candy tubes.  Two of them.

My new embark party was awesome.  Two excellent smith candidates--both loved cotton candy; one liked picks, one liked shields.  Visions of endless masterwork blue picks and shields are dancing through my head at this point--but it had to get better.  The others had excellent stats, and more fortuitous preferences.  I could've had a baron who wanted nothing but corkscrews, cats, and barrels.

As the game loads, it crashes.

And I had typo'd the autosave on start entry in init.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on December 25, 2010, 10:57:48 am
A third of my fortress, or maybe a half, is suffering from extreme numbness. Oh, and they're randomly bleeding. No idea where they're bleeding from exactly. They are not suffering from blood loss... yet.
My main halls' floor have been entirely replaced with grates for my global mist generator.
I also have the policy of killing all FBs I see and not wall off access to the caverns.
Even with the water pouring and thorough abuse of dfcleanmap, the infection shows no sign of weakening.
I severely overestimated the hygienic quality of floor grates. As in I never bothered to deconstruct and reconstruct them.
I can not use magma, both because I physically cannot, and also because few grates are magma-proof.

In conclusion: I am an utter moron. But at least, I'm having Fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Icee77 on December 25, 2010, 04:27:57 pm
Not Dorf fail, Overlord fail.

I just finished my entire fortress made of wood, when i see a pack of wolves. Naturally, i send in my wrestlers in to kill 'em. Unfortunately, one of the wrestlers was an obsidian dorf.....
COMMENCE FIRE.

I was panicking and making a moat when the fire reaches my fortress.
Then..... nothing. the wood doesn't burn, doesn't splode. Nothing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on December 25, 2010, 08:19:51 pm
Built walls are invulnerable except for cave-ins and dwarven children.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skadan on December 25, 2010, 08:39:52 pm
I fac palmed myself a moment ago. Pulled the wrong lever almost drowned my entire fortress. With water... and goblins.. and trolls.. and carp.
Btw i must have the best mayor ever. He just mandated 1 barrel to be made. And he put an export ban on weapon racks. Just love him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on December 25, 2010, 08:40:45 pm
How did you even notice? A mandate like that would be fufulled instantly in many forts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Horizonblue on December 25, 2010, 10:24:33 pm
Made a fortress that for about three years went on happily.
Then goblins just started rushing in.
Best part, my military retreated into the meeting room when the commander went on break.
Goblins followed, and so did FUN.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: twilightdusk on December 25, 2010, 10:59:09 pm
Quote from: Lord Shonus on December 25, 2010, 08:40:45 pm
How did you even notice? A mandate like that would be fufulled instantly in many forts.

Even instantly fulfilled mandates get listed for a while. I recently got a message saying "The mayor has issued a mandate" or whatever the announcement is, and looked in the nobles screen to find [Make Steel Goods: 3/3]
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ria Hawk on December 26, 2010, 06:16:46 am
I have a bunch of facepalms, but I just now got one worth registering for, so you get a funpack!

First of all, I'm still a newb. So I make newb mistakes. I'm learning slowly. But that's why my facepalms tend to come in packs.

One fort, for instance, was a series of facepalms.

I hit the caverns pretty early, due to the topography of the area. 'Cool,' I thought. 'Mud! I don't have to build a flood setup!' So I happily started farming. And then I get spammed with "Urist McDorf cancels job: interrupted by troll." I forgot about cave beasties. Just as I'm wondering if I have enough coffins, I get a message about one of my dogs has been struck down. 'That's odd,' I think. 'They're all on the surface...' So I go looking for the spot. Find the dog corpse, but the troll is nowhere to be found. Then I check the unit list. Troll's not on it. Apparently, the troll ran up from the caves, straight up through my fortress, and when it hit the surface, it just kept running. Didn't touch a single dorf.

Despite that object lesson, I still didn't take the appropriate measures, just leaving the caverns open. I got distracted by something else, I believe I was trying to scramble to get the trade depot up and running. And then I get spammed with more job cancellation messages. This time it's a giant toad. 'Pft, how much trouble can a toad cause?' Aaaaaaaaand then I get the 'Urist McDorf has been struck down!' messages. By the time I get to the scene, one of my master miners and a hauler are dead, and another hauler's bleeding to death, and the damn toad has a name and a title. It could have been the death of my fort, except the killy times happened in the proto-corridor that was to become my trade road, and I'd had the foresight to put a door there. I waited for the miasma to clear, put a row of cage traps down, and let the toad out. Caught him as soon as he hopped out. And then I floored off that damn cavern. (And put walls in when an FB spawned down there.)

Later, I was working on another project. I'd read a lot about these awesome pump-powered waterfalls that work like happiness generators. So I looked up the wiki, studied the standard plans, and thought, well, that doesn't look too hard! So I started digging out part of the assembly layers. Dining room layer was fine, no problem. The reservoir under the dining room, that was easy! And then I started digging up, to make the top of the pump layer.

And I forgot that I had dodged around the aquifer to get to the dining room layer in the first place.

To make things even better, I had also started my first attempt to make a well and a reservoir filled from the river for it. Forgot a little thing called pressure. Blew off my well, and flooded my hospital. So, the hospital was a mess, and I'd just lost a fully smoothed and engraved dining room, with several masterwork engravings. And then I ended up losing a couple of dorfs to drowning. The well flood was blocked off with a door, and the aquifer was a slow flood, so there *shouldn't* have been an issue evacuating. But the idiots kept running back to the dining room to clean, even after I forbid it. Then they ran around in the halls near the dining room, which were also flooding. I'd walled off all the corridors but one space, to contain the flood. I was waiting for the rest of the dorfs to evacuate so I could put the one last wall in. And they just... stood there. In water up to their waists that was steadily rising. With the safety of the halls not fifty feet away. I left them to their moist fate when the water got too close to the main hall and walled them in. Fortunately, they were new arrivals, so they didn't spark a tantrum spiral.

*multiple, multiple facepalms*

I still haven't reloaded that save, I don't want to clean up the mess. >>

On another fort, things were going nicely, right up until the macaques showed up. They got through my cage-trapped lined entrance and got some valuable stuff. So, I mobilized my three squads of half-trained militia and sent them to hunt the buggers down. They got two of them, but the third was leading them a merry chase around the map. They finally cornered it at the river and emerged victorious. And then two of my recruits fell into the river and drowned.

At least they didn't have anything important? *facepalm*

And this one happened just a little while ago, and was so stupid I had to share it. I knew I was in trouble as soon as I saw my embark name. Uristnom. Nothing good can come out of a name like that. But I embarked, and started carving out a rudimentary base, just a couple of workshops, beds, and stockpiles, and the early stages of my farm.

"Urist McWoodcutter cancels job: interrupted by alligator."

... What?

And sure enough, the doom predicted by the name came true. The alligator mauled six of my seven to death. The seventh tantrumed, and then the alligator mauled him.

"Your fortress has crumbled to it's end."

No, really? *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on December 26, 2010, 06:38:55 am
I just lost legendary miner due to badly projected ramp.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TomiTapio on December 26, 2010, 06:55:58 am
Quote from: Ria Hawk on December 26, 2010, 06:16:46 am
I have a bunch of facepalms, but I just now got one worth registering for, so you get a funpack!

First of all, I'm still a newb. So I make newb mistakes. I'm learning slowly. But that's why my facepalms tend to come in packs.

Hellos and secret granite handshakes!
You better stay away from Genesis mod's boosted alligators :)
I never tap the river, too much hassle and fps hit. Rather make home in the caverns if have no pools to drain into reservoirs.
You tried filling a pond with buckets yet?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ria Hawk on December 26, 2010, 07:29:36 am
Quote from: TomiTapio on December 26, 2010, 06:55:58 am

Hellos and secret granite handshakes!
You better stay away from Genesis mod's boosted alligators :)
I never tap the river, too much hassle and fps hit. Rather make home in the caverns if have no pools to drain into reservoirs.
You tried filling a pond with buckets yet?

Hiiiii~!

Yeah, I'm not playing with mods at all until I get a better grip on it. |D I haven't even figured out pumps yet.

The river seemed like a good idea at the time, since it can be used for multiple things. And I guess I run at a pretty low fps anyway, I don't really notice a problem. I haven't quite figured out the optimal way to do things yet. XD

And yeah, I did, but even a small one takes for freaking ever... Course, I have to remember to build my reservoirs deep enough to work properly. I've mastered draining ponds to make farms, but that's about it...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zwei on December 26, 2010, 12:14:38 pm
Parsing logs yielded this:

Quote
The militia commander attacks The Elephant but He rolls away!

a freaking ELEPHANT rolls? How ... acrobatic of him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McTaverish on December 26, 2010, 12:26:47 pm
Quote from: zwei on December 26, 2010, 12:14:38 pm
Parsing logs yielded this:

Quote
The militia commander attacks The Elephant but He rolls away!

a freaking ELEPHANT rolls? How ... acrobatic of him.
o_O Damn, now they know acrobatics!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on December 26, 2010, 02:39:00 pm
Quote from: Ria Hawk on December 26, 2010, 06:16:46 am
I hit the caverns pretty early, due to the topography of the area. 'Cool,' I thought. 'Mud! I don't have to build a flood setup!' So I happily started farming. And then I get spammed with "Urist McDorf cancels job: interrupted by troll." I forgot about cave beasties. Just as I'm wondering if I have enough coffins, I get a message about one of my dogs has been struck down. 'That's odd,' I think. 'They're all on the surface...' So I go looking for the spot. Find the dog corpse, but the troll is nowhere to be found. Then I check the unit list. Troll's not on it. Apparently, the troll ran up from the caves, straight up through my fortress, and when it hit the surface, it just kept running. Didn't touch a single dorf.

It's more likely something on the surface killed the dog, and the troll wandered off to some part of the underworld you can't see yet. Dogs aren't very tough, especially alone; it could easily have been some random wildlife.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ria Hawk on December 26, 2010, 07:28:26 pm
Quote from: geoduck on December 26, 2010, 02:39:00 pm
It's more likely something on the surface killed the dog, and the troll wandered off to some part of the underworld you can't see yet. Dogs aren't very tough, especially alone; it could easily have been some random wildlife.

That's possible, I suppose, though I never saw any threatening wildlife on the surface; it was a pretty peaceful biome. I do know the troll got up into the middle of my base, but I don't know where it went after that. I just like that it apparently felt like running around my base for funsies. X3
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zrk2 on December 26, 2010, 09:58:03 pm
Quote from: Ria Hawk on December 26, 2010, 07:28:26 pm
Quote from: geoduck on December 26, 2010, 02:39:00 pm
It's more likely something on the surface killed the dog, and the troll wandered off to some part of the underworld you can't see yet. Dogs aren't very tough, especially alone; it could easily have been some random wildlife.

That's possible, I suppose, though I never saw any threatening wildlife on the surface; it was a pretty peaceful biome. I do know the troll got up into the middle of my base, but I don't know where it went after that. I just like that it apparently felt like running around my base for funsies. X3

Meaning your troll








WAS TROLLING!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ria Hawk on December 26, 2010, 10:09:16 pm
Badum-PSSH!

I was sort of hoping no one would make that pun. |D Ah well. I guess he was~.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Soapalope on December 27, 2010, 12:34:22 pm
Urist Mc... cancels insane: insane.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vertigon on December 27, 2010, 12:58:46 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 27, 2010, 01:12:49 pm
an end any fortressmaker would love.
I suggest you destroy 'em all and colonize. like I did  ;) except you don't have time to set up stuff
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Soapalope on December 27, 2010, 02:25:26 pm
-mines out a wall to a massive frozen lake-

I will place a floodgate here, to defend my fortress! Mwahahahahahaha!!

-Lake melts, floods fortress-

Well, at least it wasn't magma!

-looks at the lower levels of his fortress-

Ah.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on December 27, 2010, 02:45:05 pm
I've noticed all the accounts of how stupid dwarves are, so...

If being drunk (which dwarves are all the time) dulls the senses in humans and makes them think poorly, shouldn't it do the same to dwarves? So, in theory, if we forced our dwarves to be sober all the time (Armok save them) shouldn't they make better choices and act like their brains aren't made of the rock they dig? It's brilliant!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on December 27, 2010, 02:50:16 pm
Maybe sober-drunk relations are reversed for dwarfs?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 27, 2010, 02:51:26 pm
for !!science!! I'm starting a water fort.

with water traps as customary  ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on December 27, 2010, 02:54:54 pm
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on December 27, 2010, 02:45:05 pm
I've noticed all the accounts of how stupid dwarves are, so...

If being drunk (which dwarves are all the time) dulls the senses in humans and makes them think poorly, shouldn't it do the same to dwarves? So, in theory, if we forced our dwarves to be sober all the time (Armok save them) shouldn't they make better choices and act like their brains aren't made of the rock they dig? It's brilliant!
Well, sober dwarfs ARE slower for some reason. Also, alcohol distracts them quite a lot. I'll also add that in their world full of llamas serial killers, psychopath carps, pointy-haired bosses, unspeakable horrors of the deep, worshipers of devils who brainwash kids into fighting for them, more unspeakable horrors of the deep, fey moods and possession that very well may eat away one's brain, and the horrid diseases brought by the previous mentioned unspeakable horrors of the deep... I would also need a lot of booze to function properly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: twilightdusk on December 27, 2010, 11:24:41 pm
Cleaning up after a siege, some statues lining a bridge had gotten toppled. as I was rebuilding them, I realized I'd have to lower the bridge they had been blocking access to. When the coast is clear I order the lever pulled. 3 steps before it lowers, my Legendary +5 blacksmith walks under it. *Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skivverus on December 28, 2010, 02:30:44 am
Decided to start a new fort recently; figured I'd have a go at trying out water power, so I pick a site crossing a minor river.
I know the site has an aquifer, and stone will be hard to come by.
I know the surroundings are prolifically forested, and have never heard a peep from elves about what I cut down.

So why do I proceed to pile a dozen logs on the wagon and not a single rock?

(I did manage to find some siltstone, but this is definitely going to be a learning experience about How To Break Through Aquifers)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mercenare on December 28, 2010, 02:44:22 am
Oh oh, i got a fort that got ambushed by goblins when a human caravan came along. I sent my axedwarf squad out, and they happily butched the little buggers(with no casualties! woo!), but oh what then? My computer crashed, so i lost about a season or two. I reloaded the fort, and again came the anticipated ambush. Again i happily sent my squad out. 4 casaulties, 3 seriously wounded, and 3 grief-stricken veterans. Because i forgot to make soap, the bed-ridden wounded died, sending those angst-ridden dorfs into a massive rampage throughout the fort, fully equipped in iron. Many died and I ended up abandoning the fort, damn those veterans D: (and damn this computer)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on December 28, 2010, 04:52:02 am
I just flooded my pump stack designed to drain flooded pump stack designed to drain 3 levels of my mine flooded due to small accident with levers and floodgates. And I flooded my room filled with levers connected with my floodgates, bridges and doors. I am waiting for winter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iados on December 28, 2010, 04:59:47 am
Quote from: Skivverus on December 28, 2010, 02:30:44 am
(I did manage to find some siltstone, but this is definitely going to be a learning experience about How To Break Through Mod Out Aquifers)

Fixed :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on December 28, 2010, 06:59:05 am
A door was kept open because of some shit stuck in it. Directly responsible for the death of many dorfs during the last siege that would go through it instead of finding it locked and returning to safety. Following the steps of Boatmurdered, one Fun at a time. *facepalms*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dwarfhoplite on December 28, 2010, 09:06:55 am
i designated huge bedroom level(for 102 dorfs) like 7 levels deep. my miners discovered underground cavern after first couple of strikes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Excedion on December 28, 2010, 03:08:49 pm
Built a massive above ground fort with 7 deep moat all around with 2 level z high walls.

didnt realise that when digging the moat i'd dug out a murky pool which let anyone who could swim directly past all of my defenses. God damn giant toad riders....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on December 28, 2010, 03:19:04 pm
Good news: a soldier gained her title. Yay!
Bad news: she was injured for unknown reasons. Several fractures. Huh, alright.
Worse news: she died of an infection one week after being diagnosed.

*FACEPALMS*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on December 28, 2010, 05:59:52 pm
Quote from: zwei on December 26, 2010, 12:14:38 pm
Parsing logs yielded this:

Quote
The militia commander attacks The Elephant but He rolls away!

a freaking ELEPHANT rolls? How ... acrobatic of him.
This is hilarious. I wonder how it managed to stop once it started rolling.

Quote from: Vertigon on December 27, 2010, 12:58:46 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
This too, is hilarious. Did your troops kill the koboldigoldis?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on December 28, 2010, 09:38:43 pm
Due to the caverns being inexplicably very close to the surface, Rather than dig out a fortress, I'm just building a fortress in the caverns themselves.

This is proving to be very Fun.

My medical dwarf is getting lots of practise, and my mason is getting very good at making coffins.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on December 28, 2010, 10:03:21 pm
Urist McShootsalot is out hunting a deer. Not a zombie deer, not a skeletal deer, a regular old deer. He puts about 40 *Goblin Bone Bolts* in it, before closing in on in, only to be struck down whilst standing next to his kill. The deer is fading in and out of consciousness, having taken several crossbow bolts to the legs, having both lungs punctured, and several internal organs ruptured.

With its dying breath, the deer kicked poor Urist in the head, killing him instantly, and then slipped out of consciousness for the last time.

*facepalm*

He couldn't just wait a few seconds, could he?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vertigon on December 29, 2010, 12:40:59 am
Quote from: FrisianDude on December 28, 2010, 05:59:52 pm
Quote from: Vertigon on December 27, 2010, 12:58:46 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
This too, is hilarious. Did your troops kill the koboldigoldis?

He made it about two steps before being chopped up, and then my soldiers made it about two steps before being chopped up, eaten, burned, and whatnot.




...Antlion Demons seem to be a recurring theme with my worlds.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tomas1297 on December 29, 2010, 04:37:29 am
 Accidentally abandoned fortress. ARGH! FUCK!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iados on December 29, 2010, 04:47:02 am
Not exactly a facepalm but...

I just started creating a military, and placing some traps in the fort, when an ambush pop up.
I think: "Ok, i'll close the drawbridge, i'm save". WRONG. I order pull the lever, but nobody do it. I have 18 dwarves and apparently they are suicidal. Goblins swarm my fortress, killing 5 dorfs. then suddenly they leave the fortress. in the exact moment the last goblin exit, somebody pull the lever.

FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

EDIT: Death count increased to 6. also my only doctor was killed first in the fortress. hoping that my woodcutter can save my other 3 injured dorfs...

EDIT 2: Don't want to wait a tantrum spiral to kill my fortress...
MAGMA FLOOD!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: scout890 on December 29, 2010, 04:51:53 am
Goblin killed a soldier decked out in not-microline metal armor I went into a tantrum and ordered everyone into the local clown fortress and locked them in and then removed the weapon made  by an unknown artisian
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iados on December 29, 2010, 07:45:48 am
Created another fort...

Statue and engravings of a guy killing some other guy are commons... but i have a +statue+ of a goblin being killed by a two-humped camel. simply  8) epic 8).

Also, coincidentally, my first adventurer died from a camel.

CAMEL RAMPAGE!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on December 29, 2010, 07:51:17 am
I used a brook to fill some waterhalls from which I could well, but closed the floodgate too late and now there's water on my main 'living' floor. Oh well, it helps clean things up a bit, I suppose. Multiple pets have been washed by it, and the water no longer seems to be rising.

I do have two people who need to rest in the hospital who can't reach the hospital at the moment. :c


Edit, darn, ninja'd. Camels are cool. I am wondering how you got to magma before setting up a military? :o


Edit, lots of water, my dining hall is filled with miasma and a goblin invasion appeared (with some luck the human caravan might help me. :p) Oh what fun I'm having! :D

5 Hammergoblins and one with a bow, it seems.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GotIt_00 on December 29, 2010, 08:47:03 am
Set up my very first danger room with menacing spikes. Spears, spikes, what's the big difference? If you're wondering, the big difference is walls bathed in dwarf blood.
The one survivor attempted a cleaning task (!) in the danger room and promptly suffocated.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on December 29, 2010, 09:47:51 am
Argh, the giant shrimp forgotten beast which died at the hand of a Speardwarf had deadly blood and due to a bit of a flood it seems there's quite a lot of ichor around. My war Giant Leopard and multiple Dwarfs have yellow wounds all over, numb, and for some Dwarfs it actually gets worse than that. Rot kicks in in soft bits, so there's lot of Dwarf-generated miasma around.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Daveorock on December 29, 2010, 12:04:31 pm
When I realized that I can use the mouse to select dwarfs and other creatures from the view nobles (and such) screen...
*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dwarfhoplite on December 29, 2010, 02:01:34 pm
oh man i just injured two of my legendary miners by digging channel above tunnel...
EDIT: one of them died later because nobody took care of him and we had no supplies
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The Scout on December 29, 2010, 03:18:41 pm
Quote from: dwarfhoplite on December 29, 2010, 02:01:34 pm
oh man i just injured two of my legendary miners by digging channel above tunnel...
EDIT: one of them died later because nobody took care of him and we had no supplies
Scout: You love your miners, right?
Soldier: I'LL BREAK THEIR SPINE *Ceiling collapses on them and breaks their spines
You: I CAN'T FIX THEIR SPINE  :'(
Me: I hope this gets sigged.

The sig part is like a joke. It's not meant to be sigged.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on December 29, 2010, 05:07:56 pm
Why would that get sigged? It's not particularly funny. :P Besides, you asking for it to get sigged kinda ruins and 'ooh, I need to sig that'  feelings.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on December 29, 2010, 09:28:27 pm
A fleeing kobold thief just found a goblin snatcher.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: scout890 on December 30, 2010, 12:43:57 am
goblinoid flung from a bridge fell 5 z-levels and his right eye took the full force of the impact and was jammed through his head
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: twilightdusk on December 30, 2010, 01:20:15 am
"Thief! Protect the hoard from skulking filth!" *zooms to location, thief was discovered in the middle of a squad of invading goblin archers. Unpause, kobold becomes a pincushion.*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Excedion on December 30, 2010, 02:16:39 am
Goblin siege, squad of enemy trolls heading towards my drawbridge. Dispatch militia squads because i thought they could handle them. My squad starts firing from the bridge and kills the trolls about 1 square away from them. Troll corpses litter the bridge, the rest of the goblin horde are coming. Recall my troops inside and pull the lever for the bridge, nothing happens and the enemy charge straight in only taking minor casualities on my puny traps

Stupid trolls shouldve stayed under the bridge where they belonged
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Harbinger on December 30, 2010, 03:22:43 am
Quote from: Ria Hawk on December 26, 2010, 06:16:46 am

Uristnom


LMAO
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iados on December 30, 2010, 01:23:22 pm
Quote from: FrisianDude on December 29, 2010, 07:51:17 am
Edit, darn, ninja'd. Camels are cool. I am wondering how you got to magma before setting up a military? :o

Volcano, I always embark on a volcano

EDIT: Just got elven merchants and an ambush in the same moment :) . Elves are rotting in the corpse stockpile, goblin are retreating (drawbridges are soooooo powerful), but according to dwarf therapist i voluntarily accidently lost 16 dwarf
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lekegolo Khanid on December 30, 2010, 02:00:43 pm
I usually facepalm at my friends forts. He's.... more artistic then logical, doesn't always see things quite right. Wonders how all those giant bats killed his fort when he's been using holes in his floor for decorative purposes :/.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: K17U on December 30, 2010, 04:19:28 pm
Today's facepalm: d-b-d does not discriminate between useless litter, and items that are placed as buildings. Neither does it ignore items inside items that are placed as buildings, such as chests.

There goes my entire hospital equipment down the magmadump.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zrk2 on December 30, 2010, 06:06:25 pm
Yeah, that pisses me off on occasion too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: IT 000 on December 30, 2010, 11:25:16 pm
Embarked on a frozen river, five seconds later it unfroze. All dwarves were alive, but picks, axes, dogs, cats, everything, landed in the river.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 31, 2010, 03:02:50 am
try "temperature:off" in the init file.
are you by any chance using the Lazy Newb Pack?

oh and I'm modding in various chemicals and forgot to make dwarves immune to them *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hivemind on December 31, 2010, 04:02:11 am
Quote from: TolyK on December 31, 2010, 03:02:50 am
oh and I'm modding in various chemicals and forgot to make dwarves immune to them *facepalm*

Either:
Urist McQuestionableMorals cancels job: Huffing gas

or

ZE GOGGLES. ZEY DO NOTHING.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 31, 2010, 05:08:45 am
yeah...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zwei on December 31, 2010, 07:43:23 am
A (-dwarf nail crown-)? What the ... wait a sec ... (-dwarf nail amulet-), (dwarf nail earring) and (-dwarf nail bracelet-)???
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on December 31, 2010, 07:50:45 am
Quote from: zwei on December 31, 2010, 07:43:23 am
A (-dwarf nail crown-)? What the ... wait a sec ... (-dwarf nail amulet-), (dwarf nail earring) and (-dwarf nail bracelet-)???
Invaders got nice accessories, don't they? There's even dwarf/human teeth, hair and bone stuff!  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 31, 2010, 08:02:31 am
then explain humans wearing *large human hair bracelet*

oh yeah, DON'T try to wrestle to people at once  :D *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on December 31, 2010, 11:39:44 am
Dammit, a pump operator tried to cross my frozen river the very moment it started to, well, thaw. He has drowned. ::)

And an animal trainer had mechanics on, and he took his two freshly trained war dogs into my danger room, where one of them got beaten till it vomitted.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: noob on December 31, 2010, 01:03:34 pm
embarking in a terrifying biome with a river in the middle. some skeletal hippos killed me within 30 seconds of embarking. -facedesk-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrNuke on December 31, 2010, 01:37:20 pm
I was making a fortress in a calm forest.

FYI: This was all in the first season
Everything was fine, was making a nice hole in the ground. Dorms, farms, and was starting to make workshop area for carpenter and mason.
Then all of a sudden
Urist McMason has drowned.
HE DROWNED IN A RANDOM POND!
The first thing I do is check for wildlife (Ya know, he might of dodged from something.), and there was nothing there.
WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU-
MrNuke cancles play Dwarf Fortress: Raging!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shootandrun on December 31, 2010, 02:04:38 pm
During a BIG siege (at least 100 goblins) a caravan arrived. And with them, of course, many ambushes. They were 150 goblins now. Trolls breaked my doors. Twenty cage traps catched twenty goblins and my ballista killed six of them before getting owned, and after that I had no choice; I released my military. They were at one against 10. All danger-room trained, all legendary, but -goddamnit- all in iron because it was the better metal on my map. If they had steel, or maybe even bronze, they may have survived. The captain of the gard died in the main hallway. The sheriff got cornered in the bedrooms and was killed by six goblin axemans. Two of my axelords made a last stand in the stockpiles. And then... I realize I had forgot about my greatest soldier, my proudest dwarf, the most dangerous of all my army! There was only 20 remaining goblins now, he could do it, he could win in this fight, he could... What?
Dodge into the volcano?

/facepalm.

(He still killed twelve gobs before falling, that idiot.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: McTraveller on December 31, 2010, 02:23:48 pm
I'm finally on my longest-lasting fort so far, survived 2 Goblin ambushes (only 2 casualties on my side, unless you count my war dog which I crushed with my bridge - I did take out 2 gobbos with the same bridge though).

My facepalm: I just now realized that, all this time, instead of actually trading with the caravans I've just been giving them stuff for free.  The subtleties between 'offer' and 'trade'!  :o

PS: First post to the forum!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on December 31, 2010, 02:33:24 pm
welcome to the forum! and yeah, that stuff's kinda confusing XD

I found out that you can teleport to the surface sleeping in the caverns. whoops, so much for killing that FB
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Daveorock on December 31, 2010, 06:10:14 pm
I just realized that in the fortress overview menu (z) if you press enter, it shows all the animals (tame) and who their owners are, so you don't get a tantrum if you slaughter the wrong one, plus from there you can designate animals to be slaughtered... I spent all that time chasing animals around to mark them and only to get tantrums because I marked the wrong one... I lost one of my forts doing that... for an animal!

EDIT: and I also just found that from there you can change pet availability... though that's not much of a facepalm...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on January 01, 2011, 12:59:58 pm
Quote from: McTraveller on December 31, 2010, 02:23:48 pm
I'm finally on my longest-lasting fort so far, survived 2 Goblin ambushes (only 2 casualties on my side, unless you count my war dog which I crushed with my bridge - I did take out 2 gobbos with the same bridge though).

My facepalm: I just now realized that, all this time, instead of actually trading with the caravans I've just been giving them stuff for free.  The subtleties between 'offer' and 'trade'!  :o

PS: First post to the forum!

The first few fortresses I had, I didn't have a clue how the trading system worked. Dwarf and Human traders just brought all their stuff, stood there for a few months, then left. I did figure out how to get stuff from elves in exchange for generous amounts of warhammer to the head, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on January 01, 2011, 01:24:12 pm
modding in dwarf blood toxin deviations is not a good thing.

reading all DF talks in 10 minutes is NOT advisable.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Maynot on January 01, 2011, 04:50:22 pm
Watching my dwarves seal themself behind a constructed wall by building it from the wrong side.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on January 01, 2011, 05:23:28 pm
Quote from: Maynot on January 01, 2011, 04:50:22 pm
Watching my dwarves seal themself behind a constructed wall by building it from the wrong side.

You would not believe how common this is.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Maynot on January 01, 2011, 06:14:09 pm
Quote from: Samuel on January 01, 2011, 05:23:28 pm
Quote from: Maynot on January 01, 2011, 04:50:22 pm
Watching my dwarves seal themself behind a constructed wall by building it from the wrong side.

You would not believe how common this is.
I have figured out to play the corners to force them to build it on the side I want.  They can't build walls diagonally.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on January 01, 2011, 06:54:26 pm
A strange mooding dwarf created a pair of leather shoes. That's not the facepalm, they're pretty nice shoes. However, after she completed them, I noticed she was flickering as if injured.

The creator of a pair of legendary shoes is missing a foot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stoup on January 01, 2011, 06:55:36 pm
Was reminded of the immense power of horses by one who (in adventure mode) Kicked me into a pond, then while standing at the edge of it smashed my head in.

I didn't know enemies could attack accross Z-levels like that. There was no ramp and I was drowning.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sandrew on January 01, 2011, 08:32:32 pm
Quote from: Maynot on January 01, 2011, 06:14:09 pm
Quote from: Samuel on January 01, 2011, 05:23:28 pm
Quote from: Maynot on January 01, 2011, 04:50:22 pm
Watching my dwarves seal themself behind a constructed wall by building it from the wrong side.

You would not believe how common this is.
I have figured out to play the corners to force them to build it on the side I want.  They can't build walls diagonally.

They also prefer not to build while standing on a tile that already has another designated construction on it. So if you want them to build a wall from one side, build another piece of wall on the side you don't want them to be and suspend it. Then when the wall is finished you can cancel the suspended structure and your dwarf will be on the right side.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NSQuote on January 02, 2011, 12:53:42 am
You can't link a lever to a drawbridge without being on top of said drawbridge.

I almost starved my fort by not realizing this. Locked them all in underneath, didn't notice until booze ran out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GreatWyrmGold on January 02, 2011, 10:42:43 am
A couple of "Give Water" jobs were canceled because my fort is near the ocean. Oh, well; I have plenty of dwarven wine.
A fishery worker dies of thirst. Huh? That's odd; he's right in the dining room.
Someone else dies of thirst. I check my stocks. Oh, crap, I'm out of alcohol!
This preceded a furious attempt to get a dwarf to stop what he's doing and work on a fortress-saving well before everyone died. About 20 migrants showed up, apparently having just finished a nice skin of wine or whatever. I think the well might get built.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zwei on January 02, 2011, 02:05:53 pm
Good news: I now have 40 legendary fighters and shield users.

Bad news: My fort went from population of 120something to 41. Fully armed and starting to tantrum. the one is guy that was operating lever with pull task on repeat.

Danger room with 10-per-trap-training-spears produced by legendary carpenter: Priceless.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Megaman3321 on January 02, 2011, 05:05:53 pm
So, I started a new fort in a recently genned world. I just got to autumn, and migrants arrive, so I decide to start he farms by digging under a murky pool. I used an updown staircase for reasons I can't explain. So, I breach the underside of the pool. I start to wonder why the farms aren't filling, so I go down a z level. MY HOUSING DISRICT WAS FLOODED!!!!! *facpalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on January 02, 2011, 05:56:47 pm
Just after a single year of my fortress's life, the goblins ambushed. They actually attacked before the elves even arrived. I also happen to be in an area with little trees or plants, meaning I have no booze, and I can't go back down to the third cavern level because there's a forgotten beast down there and I had to seal it off. There's a tantrum spiral brewing, but I'm not giving up on this fortress. Not after discovering adamantine within five minutes of embark.

I'm just hoping to get enough coffins built before we're overrun with ghosts, too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shlorf on January 02, 2011, 10:05:28 pm
UristMcCook cancels sleep taken by mood. I check his skills: Novice Bonecarver... He claims a craftdwarfsshop. Well i wouldn't mind losing that dwarf but then again he would have been my first casualty, so i check what he wants. Shells... Well there is no water baring the caves and the caves have no fish. Then i remember there's a forgotten beast in the third cavern which is some snake with a shell.
My militia has been training for almost 3 years and killing camels so they're skilled already with the best guy level 9 in fighter so i figure just go for it.
Actually there were two fbs in the cavern but the military dispatched of them rather easily with their shiny candy masterwork weapons, not without the captain having her right arm bitten of but since she's a badass she just carries shield and silver hammer in the left hand now :D.
So the butchers work on the assorted beast parts and finally get to the mutilated snake corpse. Upon completion i inspect the workshop to find a nice stack of 118 beast shell.
I'm like, yeah enough for any crazy moods this fort my come across for years.
UristMcCook takes the whole stack and lots of other assorted gems cloth wood and stone to make a figurine of my civs first king (of course bugged like all bonecraft artifacts without decorations).
 >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on January 02, 2011, 11:09:19 pm
In hindsight, maybe boots are a more important part of a suit of armour then I thought. The guy I intended to be a one man army attacked a cave crocodile while waering full adamantine, sans footwear.

The crocodile bit both his feet off. I'm gonna need somebody new to wear the armour.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Magentawolf on January 03, 2011, 09:30:15 am
Quote from: Samuel on January 01, 2011, 06:54:26 pm
A strange mooding dwarf created a pair of leather shoes. That's not the facepalm, they're pretty nice shoes. However, after she completed them, I noticed she was flickering as if injured.

The creator of a pair of legendary shoes is missing a foot.

Most moods only create a single shoe. In this case... that would be rather fitting for once!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The_Final_Stand on January 03, 2011, 01:15:12 pm
My High Master Diagnostician and High Master Wound Dresser got himself sliced in the leg in a goblin ambush.
The irony. It burns.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on January 03, 2011, 01:22:33 pm
Did the Gobliny have an irony daggery, then?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Johuotar on January 03, 2011, 01:34:09 pm
My adventurer was killed with easy headstrike because his nail was broken and he gave into pain.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eoganachta on January 03, 2011, 04:22:45 pm
I built a reservoir by desinating several z-levels with channels. The dorfs channelled downwards and started working on the bottom layer first even though the entrance was at the top. They managed to collaspe the top z level and kill all my best miners. The dust cloud tore through a nearby passage (leading to the farms) and slammed a few dorfs into the walls and left them choking.
Rest in Peace Urist McUnderminer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sir_schwick on January 03, 2011, 05:45:18 pm
Thinking that a sasquatch would be friendly.  He was for the first couple seasons.  Now it is mid-autumn of my first year and this yeti is rampaging through my fort scaring everybody.  Luckily is only injuring for now and killed a couple peasants.  Destroying all my workshops though :(  Could redeem the situation but I haven't had enough fun playing DF yet so I am just watching the carnage.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CapnUrist on January 03, 2011, 07:40:42 pm
Alright, so I want to teach my fortress how to swim, since the entrance to the fort is going to be smack-dab in the middle of the river. I dig out a pair of 5x5 pits next to the river, which is 1 z-level below ground level. I place a pump to draw from the river, and a floodgate in between the pits. I then put everyone in militia squads and station them down there, locking the hatch behind them, except for two guys. One pumps the first pit full of water, and the second goes down to remove the floodgate (haven't breached the aquifer yet, so no stone for mechanisms). I make sure the hatch is locked.

Did I mention this is my first time doing this?

Anyway, it works pretty well; once the floodgate is moved, water rushes in from pit 1 to pit 2, filling it to about 3.5 z's of water, and my 20-odd dwarves float merrily in the water, a few of them making minor complaints of thirst. I consider it a successful test run, and instead of unlocking the hatch first, I designated the pump to be removed, to dump the water back into the river.

As soon as the pump is off, EVERY DWARF is swept into the river. Within moments they all drown, having not actually learned any real swimming yet. Turns out one guy was sleeping; he's all by himself and tantruming like mad.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on January 04, 2011, 05:15:41 am
I really ought to be more careful with my planning. :( I took a small mountain and I wanted to make a wall and a moat around it. I build a bit too far, so I decided to move where I wanted the wall and moat. BUT, I forgot to clear the space above where I was walling, so I decided to channel that off. Channelled too much in one go, miner and a cook (and a puppy) heavily wounded and my other miner's gone to sleep instead of finishing digging out the hospital. I'm gonna re-embark for the hell of it. Don't mind starting over, anyway. Maybe a bit flatter this time. Evil would still be nice, though those skeletal goats are annoying.


DAMMIT I FORGOT TO BUY STUFF WHILE STARTING. I always start 'carefully' but now I embarked without buying extra dogs and seeds etc. I only changed my Dwarfs. ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Qinetix on January 04, 2011, 09:29:28 am
Crap Im full of fail's
I flooded the room that was supposed to be a underground farm , but well THAT DAMNED MINER DIDNT WANT TO PULL THE LEVER (yes i enabled his labor for that)
Good thing i had a save , i was able to channel it instead with the floodgate leading to the exit closed , and then i made some extra place (ye ye , the flood source was ofc for me a river , if it was a murky pool i wouldnt even bother building flood gates
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CapnUrist on January 04, 2011, 01:40:49 pm
Quote from: Qinetix on January 04, 2011, 09:29:28 am
Crap Im full of fail's
I flooded the room that was supposed to be a underground farm , but well THAT DAMNED MINER DIDNT WANT TO PULL THE LEVER (yes i enabled his labor for that)
Good thing i had a save , i was able to channel it instead with the floodgate leading to the exit closed , and then i made some extra place (ye ye , the flood source was ofc for me a river , if it was a murky pool i wouldnt even bother building flood gates

There's a labor for lever pulling?
I don't think so...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on January 04, 2011, 01:49:36 pm
nope.

in other news I channeled a moat and filled it with water (well murky pools, so I got 2/7 about everywhere).
It rains and gets it all to 4/7. Then winter. Gobbo ambush, no longrangers, NANANANANA YOU CAN'T GET ME!
...
the moat freezes.

'nuff said.
KIDS, DONT FILL YOUR MOATS!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Qinetix on January 04, 2011, 03:46:15 pm
Quote from: TolyK on January 04, 2011, 01:49:36 pm
nope.

in other news I channeled a moat and filled it with water (well murky pools, so I got 2/7 about everywhere).
It rains and gets it all to 4/7. Then winter. Gobbo ambush, no longrangers, NANANANANA YOU CAN'T GET ME!
...
the moat freezes.

'nuff said.
KIDS, DONT FILL YOUR MOATS!

Temperature off? or get into a warm region next tiem for yer moat to be thaw all year
Quote from: CapnUrist on January 04, 2011, 01:40:49 pm
Quote from: Qinetix on January 04, 2011, 09:29:28 am
Crap Im full of fail's
I flooded the room that was supposed to be a underground farm , but well THAT DAMNED MINER DIDNT WANT TO PULL THE LEVER (yes i enabled his labor for that)
Good thing i had a save , i was able to channel it instead with the floodgate leading to the exit closed , and then i made some extra place (ye ye , the flood source was ofc for me a river , if it was a murky pool i wouldnt even bother building flood gates

There's a labor for lever pulling?
I don't think so...

Pfff , I think it has to do something with the Mechanics labor
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: scout890 on January 04, 2011, 08:56:13 pm
Quote from: TolyK on January 04, 2011, 01:49:36 pm
KIDS, DONT FILL YOUR MOATS WITH WATER!
Fix'd
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CapnUrist on January 04, 2011, 11:22:00 pm
Quote from: CapnUrist on January 04, 2011, 01:40:49 pm
Quote from: Qinetix on January 04, 2011, 09:29:28 am
Crap Im full of fail's
I flooded the room that was supposed to be a underground farm , but well THAT DAMNED MINER DIDNT WANT TO PULL THE LEVER (yes i enabled his labor for that)
Good thing i had a save , i was able to channel it instead with the floodgate leading to the exit closed , and then i made some extra place (ye ye , the flood source was ofc for me a river , if it was a murky pool i wouldnt even bother building flood gates

There's a labor for lever pulling?
I don't think so...

Pfff , I think it has to do something with the Mechanics labor
[/quote]

Mechanics is for creating and linking levers. Pulling them requires no labors; thus why it's the preferred method for putting/keeping nobles in a specific spot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on January 05, 2011, 05:26:31 am
Quote from: Qinetix on January 04, 2011, 03:46:15 pm
Quote from: TolyK on January 04, 2011, 01:49:36 pm
nope.

in other news I channeled a moat and filled it with water (well murky pools, so I got 2/7 about everywhere).
It rains and gets it all to 4/7. Then winter. Gobbo ambush, no longrangers, NANANANANA YOU CAN'T GET ME!
...
the moat freezes.

'nuff said.
KIDS, DONT FILL YOUR MOATS WITH WATER!

Temperature off? or get into a warm region next tiem for yer moat to be thaw all year

I know, I was trying  to do a "no cheating" fort with human-middle ages-style defence. I actually chose a warm biome, but it froze anyway (well right next to me was temperate, so I guess even warm can freeze) for about 1 week.

Quote
Pfff , I think it has to do something with the Mechanics labor

no, any old dwarf can pull a lever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on January 05, 2011, 06:17:48 am
Surely you also built a wall behind the moat? :/
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on January 05, 2011, 06:23:24 am
it was half done  ;D
my fort value skyrocketed and I got ambushed within a year  :D
Spoiler: random stuff (click to show/hide)
what's funny is that a kobold found them for me... along with a piece of clothing that folks left outside. I actually had 89 dwarves and an mayor, wonder why they didn't siege me (could be value)

oh, and after about a month a hydra came in and mopped them all up. joy!
and I got sieged after tearing down walls. and my 2 survivors got killed my a kobold and goblin snatcher.

that was the most !!FUN!! I've had in a while...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on January 05, 2011, 06:57:10 am
Ah. Whoops. :D

Damn, a pack of Rhesus Macaques stole pretty much the entire gear my hunter started with but dropped because I told him not to hunt for now. Goddammit, I prefer wolves over those little thieving assholes.


Heh, damn. Some trees made a mockery of my plan to dig a moat by standing in the way. I had them chopped and thought I could just dig away the tiles they were on. Went okay once, but the second (or maybe first. Was practically at the same time) it knocked the miner out cold. Luckily she was NOT wounded at all. Just unconscious for a minute.

Dammit, I'll teach you yet, Nature! Dwarfs rule this area now!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ext0l on January 05, 2011, 08:19:27 pm
Built a trade depot out of ice.
It melted.  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on January 05, 2011, 08:39:21 pm
That happened to me once. That site melted only one week in spring.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Starmantle on January 06, 2011, 02:15:27 pm
My brilliant defense that relied on choke-points at bridges... and then winter came and the rivers froze just as some nasties were coming.

Ug. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jachim on January 06, 2011, 03:18:03 pm
Decided to give my entire fortress a mass bathing to berid of the pages and pages of blood.


Apparently some forgotten beast had got a bit of blood on one of my dwarves armor.

20 rotten limbs and 5 dead children and 3-4 dead cats and dogs and it's all good. *facepalm* The miasma alone almost sent my fort into a spiral, the deaths thankfully didn't.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on January 06, 2011, 04:05:18 pm
The king just arrived, and he died of old age the instant he stumbled upon the map.
*burrows face in hands in shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame*

EDIT: at least, his consort has arrived. She's 164, so she's gonna kick the bucket soon. At least, she's a competent fighter, has already killed 5 goblins, and has 10 children(!!!). But she has no... err.. preference. She doesn't seem to like any metal, stone, animal, material, product, food, etc.. whatsoever. Perfect mayor? :o

OH AND THE MIGRANTS ARE LEGENDARY WARRIORS.
But no king. Dammit!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on January 06, 2011, 10:09:42 pm
Got siege.  I set my alerts and figured I'd be safe, but then:

Urist McStupid has died. Urist McDummy has died. ETC. about 5 or six more and a couple animals.

What?  I look and a bunch of dwarves are just hanging out at the outdoor statue garden. The alert should have stopped that, but here I stand holding my face to my hand.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cassicotca on January 07, 2011, 02:33:44 am
Discovering the reason to build fortifications at floodgates. Having a troll kick in your floodgate and making your fortress a massive indoor lake is a good way to learn it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on January 07, 2011, 07:52:38 am
Hmm, a barony you say?  What the heck, let's promote my expedition leader.  She has simple tastes--rutile, copper, glumprong, dwarven wine, cave lobsters.  Glumprong is on the map; already asking for rutile as an import because I like to pamper my starting seven.  Okay, star sapphires are expensive, but with a legendary weaponsmith and iron coming out my ears all I have to do is make 3 serrated discs a year (one for each caravan).

And then I realize that I have no earthly idea if I have copper anywhere on my map.  And I've just made my only carpenter AND my only doctor into a useless purple thing.  Face.  Palm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Crocatowa on January 07, 2011, 02:23:40 pm
accidentally forgot to give my dwarves armor before forgetting about them in the danger room... i realized what was going on too late... 3 out of 16 survived the initial onslaught... 1 of them went mad and was killed... the other two went off to produce 200,000 value artifacts individually that both recounted the "training accident" as i began to call it... then they killed each other and sent the fortress into a tantrum.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: blur on January 07, 2011, 05:12:50 pm
I caught a Dragon in a cage trap. After modding, taming and releasing, he slaughtered my fortress. The reason: a useless dwarven caravan running right into that Dragon before catching him...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Horizon9 on January 07, 2011, 07:12:19 pm
Kobold filth decides to try and rob my fortress of our goods, so I send the military after it.
First dwarf to get there is my Skilled Axedwarf Kadol with his trusty copper battle axe.
I expected the Kobold to be dispatched quickly and painlessly.
And then suddenly Kadol Kolnazom, Swordsdwarf has been struck down.
He didn't even get one hit in when the kobold stabbed him in the head.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWellTrainedFerret on January 07, 2011, 11:15:05 pm
My latest facepalm moment:

I've been playing for about 3months, and last night when looking up archaically obscure details for advanced worldgen; I discovered that there's a difference between a biome's savagery and alignment. And all this time I've been settling Untamed Wilds thinking they're safer than Sinister.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on January 07, 2011, 11:17:45 pm
Quote from: Horizon9 on January 07, 2011, 07:12:19 pm
Kobold filth decides to try and rob my fortress of our goods, so I send the military after it.
First dwarf to get there is my Skilled Axedwarf Kadol with his trusty copper battle axe.
I expected the Kobold to be dispatched quickly and painlessly.
And then suddenly Kadol Kolnazom, Swordsdwarf has been struck down.
He didn't even get one hit in when the kobold stabbed him in the head.

Kobolds will stab your face in. What was the dagger made of?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: noob on January 08, 2011, 12:19:25 am
i kept abandoning sites because of the lack of neighbors... before realizing that i didnt need them on the civilization list for them to come to me :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on January 08, 2011, 07:37:00 am
Quote from: Horizon9 on January 07, 2011, 07:12:19 pm
Kobold filth decides to try and rob my fortress of our goods, so I send the military after it.
First dwarf to get there is my Skilled Axedwarf Kadol with his trusty copper battle axe.
I expected the Kobold to be dispatched quickly and painlessly.
And then suddenly Kadol Kolnazom, Swordsdwarf has been struck down.
He didn't even get one hit in when the kobold stabbed him in the head.
Everybody hates facestabs. THAT KOBOLD IS A SPAH
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dutchling on January 08, 2011, 08:02:47 am
My animal trainer is ordered to tame a deer, so he goes to the food stockpile to get some food and gives it to the deer.
No big deal right?
Well, he's giving the deer a friggin' prepared deer kidney!

He just earned a 3x3 room with a statue of his favourite metal, a cabinet and a chest*

*All of my eight dwarves get that anyway, since I have not gotten any migrants for the last four years
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on January 08, 2011, 10:04:09 am
I cut off the easy-access central stair too soon; now my depot is sitting there in a heap of rotting food and caged deer as my little morons troop across creation, each lovingly cradling a single plump helmet spawn each.

On the plus side, my Baroness didn't stop making barrels after all...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: madciol on January 08, 2011, 05:33:08 pm
Ops, not this thread.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ext0l on January 08, 2011, 05:54:39 pm
Quote from: AWellTrainedFerret on January 07, 2011, 11:15:05 pm
My latest facepalm moment:

I've been playing for about 3months, and last night when looking up archaically obscure details for advanced worldgen; I discovered that there's a difference between a biome's savagery and alignment. And all this time I've been settling Untamed Wilds thinking they're safer than Sinister.

Utamed Wilds are safer than sinister. In sinister, the wildlife actually attack you and you're guarenteed to have fun if there are any ogres around.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GenexController on January 08, 2011, 09:52:28 pm
Okay here we go just created this world and just embarked using the infamous fortress name of bronze murder. After embarking instantly a group of monkeys take the attraction of all my war dogs which allows an alligator to quickly slither out of the river sprint to each dwarf and bite each of their heads off, it was all over before it even started...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skelodwarf on January 08, 2011, 11:26:16 pm
So I've made it through the first year, again, (After messing up my entryway several times, and restarting due to my Dwarf-Induced-OCD), and I've finished that tricksy entryway. The farms are irrigated and running in an area that will eventually be channeled out, after the real farms with pumps are set up (With floodgates this time, I forgot that last time, and the machine-run pumps flooded the fort, and couldn't be turned off. [Lever was flooded before I noticed]). And I've just finished designing the great hall, and I'm about to let my dwarves get at it, and start digging into their new home. And then I realize.

In my spiral ramp down to the great hall, one of my spirals goes the wrong direction, and thus the dwarf who dug it is stuck down there, and my spiral ramp is ruined.

Now on to try 5 of this week.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ieb on January 09, 2011, 12:52:12 am
Because someone has to take the fall, I figure it's up to me to make a complete fool out of myself.

So a few artifact furnitures were made in the fort, and the baron was already happy in his little hole that used to be a mayor's department(until the unfortunate accident related to destroying the throne he was sitting on and getting his head chopped off by the Captain), so I figured, hey, the guy should have some real noble rooms.

So off I went, designating four large rooms and had them mined out.

It only now dawned on me that unfortunate placing of the rooms(two side-by-side and the other two above the two) made it look like... well, it made the noble's room layout look like he was living in a penis.

Insert obvious "the guy was a dick" joke here.

So stay sharp kids, and always check that you are not designating risque fortress plans!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on January 09, 2011, 04:15:36 am
Playing Dwarf Fortress as elves, and everything is going swell. We've got a nice hamlet started, churning out plenty of bonecrafts, with a aspiring ranger task force in-training, thanks to our guardian- a Master Bowman with golden stats, type A personality, and winning smile that could send the goblins running.

And speaking of goblins, there they are! I just happened to be checking the civ. screen out of curiosity and noticed it- they've arrive. Quickly, raise the bridge by the river! Our brave Guardian nimbly leapt down from the encampment walls and sprinted for the lever, pulling it swiftly. Strangely, however, the bridge did not raise. A warrior by trade, Lafy had no idea that the rickety old mechanisms of the bridge were turning slowly as he set upon it, preparing to hold the goblins on the other side if need be. Suddenly, the ground disappeared from beneath him, and a blue question mark flashed above his head. After pacing back and forth for a few seconds, he finally realized that he was, in fact, standing in midair, and fell screaming like a kitten 8 z levels down to his death in the canyon below.

As the village mourned Lafy's death, goblins appeared from the opposite direction and stormed into the hamlet, slaughtering everyone in seconds.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Qinetix on January 09, 2011, 06:11:51 am
Got 15 females and 1 male in my fortress
*facepalm* I noticed this after a year

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on January 09, 2011, 09:03:25 am
Holy shit I accidentally beheaded a macedwarf of the caravan because he was caught beneath the kill order rectangle used against a Goblin ambush. :( My MCaptain made very short work of the poor fellow.  :-\

Would the caravan forgive me for this?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bedlam on January 09, 2011, 09:44:13 am
Accidentally pump-drowned the pumper because I didnt notice a leak in the room.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stoup on January 09, 2011, 10:05:09 am
Having a squad of recruits try to wrestle a Draltha who'd climbed into the fort proper via a door down in the caverns a gremlin opened.

None lived, and one was blown apart.

But eventually one of my miners killed his shit! :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BackgroundGuy on January 09, 2011, 11:59:48 am
Quote from: FrisianDude on January 09, 2011, 09:03:25 am
Holy shit I accidentally beheaded a macedwarf of the caravan because he was caught beneath the kill order rectangle used against a Goblin ambush. :( My MCaptain made very short work of the poor fellow.  :-\

Would the caravan forgive me for this?

Your civilization won't act against you as a fortress, but you'd better isolate the killer and anyone else who attacked the macedwarf.  Those guys are now enemies of your civilization and will attack your civilians on sight.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Horizon9 on January 09, 2011, 02:35:31 pm
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on January 07, 2011, 11:17:45 pm
Quote from: Horizon9 on January 07, 2011, 07:12:19 pm
Kobold filth decides to try and rob my fortress of our goods, so I send the military after it.
First dwarf to get there is my Skilled Axedwarf Kadol with his trusty copper battle axe.
I expected the Kobold to be dispatched quickly and painlessly.
And then suddenly Kadol Kolnazom, Swordsdwarf has been struck down.
He didn't even get one hit in when the kobold stabbed him in the head.

Kobolds will stab your face in. What was the dagger made of?
It was a large copper dagger.
Just one hit did him in.
And then suddenly Urist McBigDamnHero comes in and starts butchering the kobold with his pick.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Horizon9 on January 09, 2011, 02:36:42 pm
Quote from: Ieb on January 09, 2011, 12:52:12 am
Because someone has to take the fall, I figure it's up to me to make a complete fool out of myself.

So a few artifact furnitures were made in the fort, and the baron was already happy in his little hole that used to be a mayor's department(until the unfortunate accident related to destroying the throne he was sitting on and getting his head chopped off by the Captain), so I figured, hey, the guy should have some real noble rooms.

So off I went, designating four large rooms and had them mined out.

It only now dawned on me that unfortunate placing of the rooms(two side-by-side and the other two above the two) made it look like... well, it made the noble's room layout look like he was living in a penis.

Insert obvious "the guy was a dick" joke here.

So stay sharp kids, and always check that you are not designating risque fortress plans!
On one of my previous fortresses I mined out 7 rooms for the starting dwarves, a meeting area, a dining room, and a barracks.
Only after I had finished did I notice the entire floor was shaped like a cross.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Alarion on January 09, 2011, 04:41:54 pm
Getting a Forgotten Beast to arrive... made of snow. He took one step into the caverns, realised "oh shit, it's like 11,000 Urist in here" and promptly melted.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on January 09, 2011, 05:05:42 pm
Quote from: BackgroundGuy on January 09, 2011, 11:59:48 am
Your civilization won't act against you as a fortress, but you'd better isolate the killer and anyone else who attacked the macedwarf.  Those guys are now enemies of your civilization and will attack your civilians on sight.
Hmm. I don't think so, luckily. I deactivated the order of the Militia captain's squad a bit later, after having driven away. finished the last goblins and he's simply being okay and a cheese maker again. Sparring with a fellow is what I last saw of him before I exited the game. Also could trade with the caravan, so maybe I was lucky.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Alarion on January 09, 2011, 05:53:27 pm
Also, a mason got stuck on top of the outer walls for several months before being noticed. Once that happened, due to an unfortunately timed save, he'd run down the stairs, throw himself at the nearest barrel of booze... and then immediately die of thirst while drinking from it.

Luckily, that's the only death in the fortress so far, meaning that it now only houses 36 Ecstatic dwarves and 3 Very Happy ones. Alas. At least he got a nice grave...

(and I learned to watch out for masons building walls on corners! damn save timing...)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McOverlord on January 09, 2011, 09:30:28 pm
Quote from: Bedlam on January 09, 2011, 09:44:13 am
Accidentally pump-drowned the pumper because I didnt notice a leak in the room.

I did that once.

But with magma.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on January 09, 2011, 10:33:49 pm
Quote from: Qinetix on January 09, 2011, 06:11:51 am
Got 15 females and 1 male in my fortress
*facepalm* I noticed this after a year

I don't see how that's a facepalm. I see that as the ultimate vacation.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on January 09, 2011, 10:34:33 pm
After allowing all my dwarves to spar their way up to elite status, I reenabled all their labours via DT. First time round I forgot to reenable the hauling labours, which made for a confusing time. Second time round, I realised I'd forgotten the recover / feed wounded orders as well. How did I discover this? By going off to write some mods, and coming back to a nice big 'Urist McUnfortunate has died of thirst' announcement on my screen. Looks like they came off badly against a skeagle and went to the hospital to rest up, and whoops, nobody came by with a bucket. All it was was some bruised muscle and torn fat in the head, by the look of the combat logs. How annoying.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Starmantle on January 10, 2011, 01:25:58 am
Editing the raws a little to add a few extra animals to the domesticated folder - so they'd show up with immigrants and such.

After going through the long process of finding a great location and getting my caravan ready, I found that I had a party of 7 humans...

I have no idea how that one happened, but human fortress just isn't worth playing. 

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on January 10, 2011, 03:23:49 am
My entire 2 squads dodged into murky pool. Well, 3 were killed by enemy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zrk2 on January 10, 2011, 04:58:52 pm
Quote from: Kogut on January 10, 2011, 03:23:49 am
My entire 2 squads dodged into murky pool. Well, 3 were killed by enemy.


...And?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zidane on January 10, 2011, 05:48:16 pm
I replaced Microcline with Orichalum, a metal just as sharp and hard as cotton candy, but as heavy as lead.

After a few seasons I discover goblins are loaded with the stuff.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on January 11, 2011, 04:48:49 am
Quote from: Zrk2 on January 10, 2011, 04:58:52 pm
Quote from: Kogut on January 10, 2011, 03:23:49 am
My entire 2 squads dodged into murky pool. Well, 3 were killed by enemy.


...And?
drowned
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sicksock on January 11, 2011, 04:58:02 am
Quote from: Musashi on January 06, 2011, 04:05:18 pm
The king just arrived, and he died of old age the instant he stumbled upon the map.

Hey guys whats going on in this fort-HHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Qinetix on January 11, 2011, 01:39:09 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on January 09, 2011, 10:33:49 pm
Quote from: Qinetix on January 09, 2011, 06:11:51 am
Got 15 females and 1 male in my fortress
*facepalm* I noticed this after a year

I don't see how that's a facepalm. I see that as the ultimate vacation.

Oh the male was the only ecstasic one XD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MonkeyHead on January 11, 2011, 03:42:46 pm
Spending almost an hour designing and digging out a mega efficient farming zone including various types of food processing logically ordered radially outwards from a large central farming chamber all zones with with dependant stockpiles...

then realizing i didnt embark with any seeds as i felt ike foraging for my plant matter for a change.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Devling on January 11, 2011, 04:05:05 pm
Farms. For about 3 farms I didn't have any idea how to get mud. Then I flooded my unly succesful farm and had to dig a pit to get the water out. Now it's flooding again because of rain. >:( It's okay though because it's making more mud.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sicksock on January 11, 2011, 10:06:39 pm
Got an embark randomly called "the windy forests".

Windmills generate no power anywhere
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on January 11, 2011, 11:31:23 pm
At least an in-game year or so ago, I took out a small tribe of Cave Swallow Men in the caverns, as they were listed as hostile and I frankly don't need the caverns to be any more dangerous. A couple of them survived, one who's been wandering about, and another who wandered over to a large open area, took off into the air, and then... stopped. In a single spot. In mid-air. And he hasn't moved in over a year. He's apparently some sort of zen master or something.

Now, shall I use the boring old crossbow method, or drop a chunk of ceiling on his head?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xtank5 on January 11, 2011, 11:37:10 pm
Quote from: Samuel on January 11, 2011, 11:31:23 pm
Now, shall I use the boring old crossbow method, or drop a chunk of ceiling on his head?
The ceiling method of course.  You had to ask?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on January 11, 2011, 11:45:41 pm
Quote from: xtank5 on January 11, 2011, 11:37:10 pm
Quote from: Samuel on January 11, 2011, 11:31:23 pm
Now, shall I use the boring old crossbow method, or drop a chunk of ceiling on his head?
The ceiling method of course.  You had to ask?

Actually, no, not really.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on January 11, 2011, 11:54:27 pm
Quote from: Samuel on January 11, 2011, 11:45:41 pm
Quote from: xtank5 on January 11, 2011, 11:37:10 pm
Quote from: Samuel on January 11, 2011, 11:31:23 pm
Now, shall I use the boring old crossbow method, or drop a chunk of ceiling on his head?
The ceiling method of course.  You had to ask?

Actually, no, not really.

Magma. Freaking underachievers these days.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ria Hawk on January 12, 2011, 04:54:34 am
So I'm playing with magma for the first time. I've dug out a nice, refillable reservoir connected to a volcano. I have a nice complex of workshops planned out on the floor above so I can use magma forges and stuff.

And like an idiot, I started filling the reservoir before I started on the workshops. So the game is literally pausing every second because the miners found warm stone. Yes, I know, stop telling me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on January 12, 2011, 06:15:01 am
I started off as I often do, with three dogs and they are physically less than imposing; the bitches are enormous yet very weak and the male is gigantic yet incredibly weak. :(
My start donkey on the other hand is very muscular and just gigantic overall, but I haven't modded war donkeys in. ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on January 12, 2011, 08:25:10 am
Quote from: Ria Hawk on January 12, 2011, 04:54:34 am
So I'm playing with magma for the first time. I've dug out a nice, refillable reservoir connected to a volcano. I have a nice complex of workshops planned out on the floor above so I can use magma forges and stuff.

And like an idiot, I started filling the reservoir before I started on the workshops. So the game is literally pausing every second because the miners found warm stone. Yes, I know, stop telling me.

For what it's worth, I don't believe you can build the workshops without have the magma ready anyhow.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sandrew on January 12, 2011, 09:08:01 am
You can dig out a workshop space, then dig out a magma reservoir and fill it. It's what I usually do.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kassil on January 12, 2011, 10:00:35 am
Quote from: Ibid Straydrink on January 12, 2011, 08:25:10 am
Quote from: Ria Hawk on January 12, 2011, 04:54:34 am
So I'm playing with magma for the first time. I've dug out a nice, refillable reservoir connected to a volcano. I have a nice complex of workshops planned out on the floor above so I can use magma forges and stuff.

And like an idiot, I started filling the reservoir before I started on the workshops. So the game is literally pausing every second because the miners found warm stone. Yes, I know, stop telling me.

For what it's worth, I don't believe you can build the workshops without have the magma ready anyhow.

She's referring to having the miners dig out the space for the workshops, in this case.

This is why I use channels and try to remember to dig out the workshop space before filling them. Forgot to do that yesterday, wound up just letting my miners uncover all the 'warm stone' warnings, mine out everything else, and then redesignated the channels.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iados on January 12, 2011, 11:20:56 am
Oh my god, one of my miner is marked for death. He breached the wall of the volcano for redirecting the magma...

but got a minor wound on the lower lip (can't find a more similar color).

Heavy bleeding. And what happens if a dwarf sees blood on the ground while running away from lava?

Exactly.

He stopped for cleaning the floor




P.S.: UnLuckily he ran away in time...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on January 12, 2011, 02:50:32 pm
Quote from: Ibid Straydrink on January 12, 2011, 08:25:10 am
Quote from: Ria Hawk on January 12, 2011, 04:54:34 am
So I'm playing with magma for the first time. I've dug out a nice, refillable reservoir connected to a volcano. I have a nice complex of workshops planned out on the floor above so I can use magma forges and stuff.

And like an idiot, I started filling the reservoir before I started on the workshops. So the game is literally pausing every second because the miners found warm stone. Yes, I know, stop telling me.

For what it's worth, I don't believe you can build the workshops without have the magma ready anyhow.
You can. They just won't function until the magma is in place.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Icee77 on January 12, 2011, 07:55:29 pm
New fortress, doing pretty good, i send my miners to dig out a sun roof so i can plant outside plants inside when,
A section of the cave has collapsed.
2 miners, along with an innocent pair of cats and a woodcutter dead.
Half my fortress dead, gone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kassil on January 12, 2011, 09:57:37 pm
Trying to channel out a magma moat the simple way, by using a cave-in. Nope. Miner stands on the wrong side and dies.
Four times, with various 'don't stand here' methods tried.
Finally gave up and channeled it out the long way. Argh. Suicidal dorf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sicksock on January 13, 2011, 02:42:23 am
When a grandmaster carpenter gets beheaded by a startled kobold theif.

His untimely death prevented me from giving everyone great beds. Good work kobold, way to go.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on January 13, 2011, 09:03:41 am
Quote from: Icee77 on January 12, 2011, 07:55:29 pm
2 miners, along with an innocent pair of cats and a woodcutter dead.
No such thing as innocent cats. Those miner realized this and heroically foiled the nefarious feline plots!


Also; my first regiment (set up to combat ogres and harpies) is named 'the creative generals' and the second squad (for melee) is named 'the creative soldiers' not sure if this is facepalmable, but it's not very creative. :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vee on January 13, 2011, 03:37:21 pm
We all love Elves - or rather we love the wood, but not the Elves...

Well I was building my 'real' Trade Depot, when the Elves showed up for the first time, and went to the - old - Depot (outside, quickly built to trade with the first caravan).
When my Mason deconstructed the Depot, the Elves had already unloaded their wares at, the Elves went to the other - new Depot.

... without the wares. Which now lie on the ground just outside the Fortress..
I'll see if they correctly take the stuff with them, when they go, or what happens. I'm really tempted to flood them with magma now, unfortunately I still lack magma safe pumps...

EDIT: "Oh a Kobold, kill it!" <-- Bad idea, the Kobold was already fleeing and I know my game crashes with segfault when the designated target of a squad leaves the location.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on January 13, 2011, 04:27:53 pm
Congratulations! You successfully robbed the pointy ears! ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on January 13, 2011, 04:41:42 pm
Quote from: Vee on January 13, 2011, 03:37:21 pm
I know my game crashes with segfault when the designated target of a squad leaves the location.

What did you do to break DF in this manner? Mine doesn't do that...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Icee77 on January 13, 2011, 05:26:27 pm
Got a new one!!
OK, same fortress, and a trio of forest spiders appear. naturally i call upon the militia of every citizen being recruited. i then have them swarm onto the spiders.
First two, down then when i see the last one more or less surrounded by unconsciousness dwarves. i look and see each one has a strike to the head. EACH ONE. thankfully, my dorfs kill it with an axe.

Unfortunately, i just lost a third of my working force.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Magentawolf on January 14, 2011, 11:07:05 am
Quote from: MaximumZero on January 13, 2011, 04:41:42 pm
Quote from: Vee on January 13, 2011, 03:37:21 pm
I know my game crashes with segfault when the designated target of a squad leaves the location.

What did you do to break DF in this manner? Mine doesn't do that...

This was a confirmed bug with prior versions; I'm just not sure if it was fixed by .16 or not until .17/.18.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWellTrainedFerret on January 14, 2011, 04:40:32 pm
My facepalm happened last night while I was dreaming about DF (in ASCII of coarse!). All my previous forts; I've gone through enormous time and trouble to set up secure sewage even having a sewage diversion into a trap reservoir. Then it hit me: All this time I could have save myself much headache by simply drawing water from a aquifer instead of the surface or caves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ext0l on January 14, 2011, 06:10:39 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on January 13, 2011, 04:41:42 pm
Quote from: Vee on January 13, 2011, 03:37:21 pm
I know my game crashes with segfault when the designated target of a squad leaves the location.

What did you do to break DF in this manner? Mine doesn't do that...

This seems specific to linux DF. I have the same problem on my Ubuntu machine, but its fine on my Windows one. 31.18 for both.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MonkeyHead on January 15, 2011, 05:24:08 am
tried somthing ambitious... embarked at a river confluence, and while it was frozen dug out a small walled courtyard in this confluence to have a "castle in a river" type of way in. looked cool - 6x6 tower poking out of a river, with fortifications and a roof. River melted. ALL my supplies (minus the stone used to make the small courtyard) were still on the wagon. I had neglected to build a bridge yet, reasoning I have until the end of Autnum to worry about that... My dorfs were safe in thier little island, with 2 soil layers to play with before an aquifer, no food, no booze... no hope.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cassicotca on January 15, 2011, 05:39:05 am
Had my legendery stone crafter go in a fey mood and make a stone craft <.< Could have have been ANYONE else but noo had to be him
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Virodhi on January 15, 2011, 09:14:41 am
Yesterday I learned something new while doing the preparations for embark: "Huh. What's 'new' mean?" *hits N, and up pops massive list of stuff to buy* "Oh."

...

"ARGHARGH!"

MONTHS of embarking on deserts or glaciers with no wood (or much of anything else, really) - all for nothing, because I didn't bother reading the embark screen properly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on January 15, 2011, 11:09:08 am
Quote from: MonkeyHead on January 15, 2011, 05:24:08 am
tried somthing ambitious... embarked at a river confluence, and while it was frozen dug out a small walled courtyard in this confluence to have a "castle in a river" type of way in. looked cool - 6x6 tower poking out of a river, with fortifications and a roof. River melted. ALL my supplies (minus the stone used to make the small courtyard) were still on the wagon. I had neglected to build a bridge yet, reasoning I have until the end of Autnum to worry about that... My dorfs were safe in thier little island, with 2 soil layers to play with before an aquifer, no food, no booze... no hope.

7 dorfs. No items. FINAL DESTINATION.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on January 15, 2011, 01:54:14 pm
Quote from: Cassicotca on January 15, 2011, 05:39:05 am
Had my legendery stone crafter go in a fey mood and make a stone craft <.< Could have have been ANYONE else but noo had to be him
I made a new fort solely so I wouldn't have to go digging up my proper one to test the workings of a highly-mechanised trap. The population was limited to just the hardcoded waves, as always in my games. First I got a Grand Master Armoursmith. Then the Armoursmith mooded. Instant Legendary +5, in a hole in the ground that will never see even another trader. I know that what the RNG does in one fort has no bearing on what it does in another, but I can't help feeling a little miffed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Darvi on January 15, 2011, 04:41:20 pm
I've had a bunch a dorfs dehydrate because the idiots deconstructed the stairs (and it definitively had nothing to do with the fact that I had the entire area designated to be mined *whistle*).
Having the magma sea beneath their feet probably didn't help, either.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shootandrun on January 15, 2011, 07:13:14 pm
Wait, what? One of my sworddwarf is dead? He was hunting goats and he was legendary! I hope he did not dodge into a murky pool...

*Checks combat log*

He dodged into the lava pipe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beardless on January 15, 2011, 08:28:30 pm
I'm trying to perform an experiment with a backed-up fortress. As in so much good !!Science!!, it involves making a beeline to the magma sea. Two, actually. A stairwell, and an empty shaft. I sank about 50 Z-levels of stairs first, then starting digging the shaft right next to it. That way I could throw half a dozen miners at it at the same time.

Meanwhile, crundles keep getting in through the second cavern, and I'm getting really annoyed with the cancellation spam. I've designated a few ramps removed to keep them out, but none of the miners want to work there. Eventually I remembered that I could restrict miners to a burrow. Nice! Here you go, Legendary Miner, three ramps just for you! Hmm, I wonder where he is.

That's odd, it doesn't look like there's any floor there... Oh.

30 Z-levels later: SPLAT!



Yes, I assigned a falling miner to a priority work burrow. *facepalm*

And for a second facepalm, cue six more splats as the rest of my miners one by one dodged the same crundle and fell down the same damn shaft.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on January 16, 2011, 02:59:26 am
My fort had multiple problems but direct cause of !!FUN!! was not setting danger room lever on repeat. What in connection with Defence Mod was deadly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dwarfhoplite on January 16, 2011, 10:07:15 am
fuck i just spent like half an hour making city grid and whole plan to one burrow. then I didn't press "done" and everything vanished...

EDIT: for god's sake i did it again somehow
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ggamer on January 16, 2011, 01:34:59 pm
Watching as a skilled fighter gets stabbed in both feet by a kobold and knocked down a hill.

fuck.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on January 16, 2011, 07:50:03 pm
My dwarfs have never seen any Forgotten Beast yet. I got besieged by goblins and their demon law-giver; as expected in this version, the loyalty cascade was triggered at the border of the map, and the result was epic.
This is not the problem.
The problem is that the damn devil had deadly blood. 2 months later, after accidentally flooding a third of the map, and witnessing the complete freezing of said water... on the opposite side of the map, where water couldn't possibly have spread toxins... cats start dying. Then a commander, one of my best marksdorf. Then 10 z-levels underneath, a miner bled out to death randomly as well, rapidly joined by a random wandering war dog somewhere in between.
How the shit did the poison cross the river to kill stuff only now? Why didn't it just act faster and kill the bunch of treacherous gobbos? Why do I even bother? I don't even want to deal with any Forgotten Beast after that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on January 16, 2011, 10:24:17 pm
I JUST had one.  a BIG one.  I had the idea where i would send THOUSANDS of goblins to die against the hordes of the underworld, only to accidentally breach it, and send all my dwarves to my safety zone.  I pulled the safety lever, only to become frustrated at how it wasn't working.  I watch as all my dwarves are slaughtered, only to realize that i was pulling the WRONG LEVER.  I was pulling the one to main draw bridge. >.< 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on January 17, 2011, 12:14:40 am
Genned a lovely little site--lushly forested wilderness, perfectly flat volcano, mountains on the edge of the map absolutely filthy with exposed veins of ore.  Sand.  Dolomite.  Gabbro, and granite coming out the ears.

Did a scouting embark.  Can't bring myself to use the site.  Why?  No ocean/river; and I'm a whore for good, evil and savagery.

Face.  Palm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Qinetix on January 17, 2011, 12:34:11 am
Quote from: melomel on January 17, 2011, 12:14:40 am
Genned a lovely little site--lushly forested wilderness, perfectly flat volcano, mountains on the edge of the map absolutely filthy with exposed veins of ore.  Sand.  Dolomite.  Gabbro, and granite coming out the ears.

Did a scouting embark.  Can't bring myself to use the site.  Why?  No ocean/river; and I'm a whore for good, evil and savagery.

Face.  Palm.

Find a aquifer , and the aquifer to be only in a biome , build your base between them
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: feather240 on January 17, 2011, 02:01:38 am
Urist McOblivious: "Ahh, snatcher, my arms!"
Urist McEfficiency: *Runs up to victim.*
Urist McOblivious: "Oh thank Armok you came to help me!"
Urist McEfficiency: *Picks up McObliviouss' item and runs away.*
Urist McOblivious: *Passes out.*
It begins to rain.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tokkius on January 17, 2011, 05:20:59 am
Realizing that, although it is really cool that dwarves now have semi-tangible souls, it's opened up a whole new box of worms. I realized this when I got a sudden onset of nearly a half-dozen freaking poltergeists battering anyone at my entrance.

BLOOD. EVERYWHERE. Also ghost-moans.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: melomel on January 17, 2011, 01:45:26 pm
Fell asleep while the game was running.

Woke up to:

My best mason/miner, one of the starting seven, lying dead in the dry moat--probably slain by a werewolf.

A moody mechanic.

In the cage traps: 13 werewolves, 1 fox, 1 cougar, and a swordfish.

Have modded the werewolves to be trainable in a fit of pique.  If they insist on mobbing us, they might as well make themselves of use.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewSheoth on January 17, 2011, 02:21:54 pm
Quote from: melomel on January 17, 2011, 01:45:26 pm
Fell asleep while the game was running.

Woke up to:

My best mason/miner, one of the starting seven, lying dead in the dry moat--probably slain by a werewolf.

A moody mechanic.

In the cage traps: 13 werewolves, 1 fox, 1 cougar, and a swordfish.

Have modded the werewolves to be trainable in a fit of pique.  If they insist on mobbing us, they might as well make themselves of use.

Now THAT is something to wake up to. Undead or not.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Maynot on January 17, 2011, 03:56:45 pm
Channeling out a vertical shaft and somehow having a dwarf fall to his death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on January 18, 2011, 12:09:42 pm
Why the fuck is my macedwarf wearing a mace, a battle axe, AND a shield?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on January 18, 2011, 12:12:24 pm
'cause you told him to.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on January 18, 2011, 12:21:20 pm
Quote from: FrisianDude on January 18, 2011, 12:12:24 pm
'cause you told him to.
Well, I don't remember telling her so. Also... how the hell does she manage to carry all that at once?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on January 18, 2011, 01:19:12 pm
In her hands. Just check her equipment via m and e, my guess is you assigned one weapon directly and left the 'individual choice-melee.'
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BlandoTaco on January 18, 2011, 04:00:51 pm
Ten minutes into my very first fortress
"so that's what an aquifer is"

My second fortress was lost to rhesus macaques
I wish I was kidding, I really do

And then I figured a good biome would be safer
And then I learned I was wrong.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on January 18, 2011, 04:56:58 pm
Quote from: Musashi on January 18, 2011, 12:21:20 pm
Quote from: FrisianDude on January 18, 2011, 12:12:24 pm
'cause you told him to.
Well, I don't remember telling her so. Also... how the hell does she manage to carry all that at once?
Very carefully.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on January 18, 2011, 06:56:57 pm
Quote from: BlandoTaco on January 18, 2011, 04:00:51 pm
And then I figured a good biome would be safer
And then I learned I was wrong.

I used to love trying to run a fortress with nothing but the wagon at the start.  It worked best when my first hunter managed to take down a unicorn without getting killed.  Now a days, what with fish not giving bones, it is much harder to do.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eoganachta on January 18, 2011, 11:02:32 pm
While filling my water system I watched my mil. commander run up to the access and open the door only to find a wall of water behind it. He promptly closed the door and then ran back a few steps only to rush back, open the door and then cross the pipe to another door and escape.
I then went to look at the dining hall and found it fill with water and the dwarfs being pushed to the edges. My fort is several z levels below the river and I forgot about the pressure system.
LOL
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ikacer on January 18, 2011, 11:52:40 pm
To teach my dwarfs how to swim and to keep my dwarves clean, I filled my sunlight exposed meeting room and barracks with Water [4/7]. The plan was working nicely.
Too bad I forgot that my biome freezes in the winter. 61 of 74 dwarves died, including my entire military, and all animals except a few cats.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on January 19, 2011, 06:57:24 am
Quote from: ikacer on January 18, 2011, 11:52:40 pm
To teach my dwarfs how to swim and to keep my dwarves clean, I filled my sunlight exposed meeting room and barracks with Water [4/7]. The plan was working nicely.
Too bad I forgot that my biome freezes in the winter. 61 of 74 dwarves died, including my entire military, and all animals except a few cats.

Holy shit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on January 19, 2011, 10:19:51 am
I was planning on creating a giant glass dome in which to build a self-sustaining fortress... at the bottom of the ocean. So, I embark with more than half the embark map centered over the water. We arrive in spring, so the dwarves stop the wagon at the beach, right?

Apparently, the climate was just cold enough to keep the ocean frozen long enough for my dwarves to park the wagon on it. A few minutes later, the ice melts, and by the time the game becomes responsive again, 6 dwarves are dead, as are all the animals. One is left alive, fishing in a pond on the beach.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JJtoocool on January 19, 2011, 10:21:53 am
Working on my "scouts" mod...

Me: HA! Like to see a goblin get past my 300+ cage traps!
Urist McScout: SIR, 400 GOBLINS WILL ARRIVE IN TWO MONTHS!
Me: Well... 100 more traps!
One Month Later
Urist McScout: SIR, IT WAS 500 GOBLINS
Me: Uhhh... wow... Another hundred cage traps?
29 Days Later
Urist McScout: SIR, NEVERMIND, IT WAS A BRONZE COLOSSUS
*Winter is upon you*
FACEPALM
*(mastercraft item) has been stolen by a goblin theif!*
DOUBLE FACEPALM

The mod was abandoned and thrown into the windows version of a DAS.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bohandas on January 19, 2011, 07:31:10 pm
Quote from: JJtoocool on January 19, 2011, 10:21:53 am
Working on my "scouts" mod...

Me: HA! Like to see a goblin get past my 300+ cage traps!
Urist McScout: SIR, 400 GOBLINS WILL ARRIVE IN TWO MONTHS!
Me: Well... 100 more traps!
One Month Later
Urist McScout: SIR, IT WAS 500 GOBLINS
Me: Uhhh... wow... Another hundred cage traps?
29 Days Later
Urist McScout: SIR, NEVERMIND, IT WAS A BRONZE COLOSSUS
*Winter is upon you*
FACEPALM
*(mastercraft item) has been stolen by a goblin theif!*
DOUBLE FACEPALM

The mod was abandoned and thrown into the windows version of a DAS.

 ;D Well what do you expect when your scouts eat nothing but mushrooms?...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: castun on January 20, 2011, 08:06:40 am
Building a bridge to gain access to the other side of a river in a nice little valley, then wondering why my dwarves were somehow swimming across instead of using the bridge.  Oh...it's a brook...and they can just walk through it. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on January 20, 2011, 02:26:11 pm
Training swimming for companions. Walled in with gobbos outside.
I press P accidentally. "It is cold."
FUUUU...

Shift+T>You don't feel safe enough to travel.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Soapalope on January 20, 2011, 03:39:13 pm
That is a lot of Fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tase on January 20, 2011, 07:34:45 pm
Reworking my whole defense system/airlock at once, and getting sieged.

And regularly using dfreveal.exe and unpausing the game, leaving the map unrevealed and a bunch of hell-related lag.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bobhayes on January 20, 2011, 09:01:51 pm
Still on vanilla, still learning the game - I've played, I dunno, twenty or thirty fortresses. Lots of floods, lots of sieges, lots of collapses, lots of injured Urist McIdiot has starved to death b/c I forgot to leave a few people unoccupied to bring him food. Good times.

Build a well-defended fort. Good layout, keeps FPS high, iron and coal on first few z-layers so steel industry is humming from the first season. Wall off the world (just a 2x2 map, any more and my poor old computer just starts choking), leave a 2x45 entry corridor paved with cage traps with an archery tower at the gate to give the dorfs target practice. A couple goblin ambushes fill in the cages nicely...I notice one of the goblins was riding a giant bat and came over the wall. Huh. Never noticed THAT happen before. Well, no big, nobody's outside most of the time and if it's just one flying scout what's the harm, the war grizzlies ate him in two seconds flat. I'm invulnerable!

A Vile Force of Darkness Has Arrived!

50+ goblins on bats.

Fun Ensued.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Devling on January 20, 2011, 09:39:31 pm
^ MAXIMUM FUN POWERS GO
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pukako on January 21, 2011, 03:17:03 am
Flat plain with two rivers.  Unfortunately, no waterfall.  Oh, well...

Dig down, five levels of dirt until I hit rock. 

Later on, I need a well.  Plenty of ponds around (seriously, it's raining most of the time here).  So I dig next to a pond, and channel down six levels, excavate a room, and one below (I'm in limestone mining territory here, so don't want to flood too much)...

Channel to release the pond, and realise I've misunderestimated things as the pond is still mostly full and the channels are full.  So I decide to let some of the water out and end up flooding the dining room and forges, and draining enough water so I can't fill a well.

Meanwhile goblins ambush me, and Urist McMilitiacommander leaps on the bridge over the 6 level drop as it raises.  What did he break? Better to ask what he didn't break...

Scumsaved, as the water situation was very very bad, as the pond was still overflowing and I had no space to put a floodgate...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stuebi on January 21, 2011, 04:51:41 pm
Started a new Fortress and was building my first Defenses. Cage Traps were set and the Drawbridge was built, usually this suffices to defen against the first ambushes. But because i had nothing better to do, i decided to make a very deep pit below and at the sides of the Bridge, so Enemys or annoying Dorfs would fall an die horribly if i raise the bridge while they stand on it.

So i designated the Area to be channeled, until now i waited everytime until the Miner was finished with the current level before i designated the Area below. But this very day i discovered that you are actually able to designate Channelareas even if you cant reach them yet. So i just designated the Area on 15 Z Levels and was happy my Miner would work on his own without me waiting for him all the time.

Very very bad decision. The Miner didnt finish one Level after another, he just channeled right true at one Spot. I didnt see this until i got a Cave in Message and afterwards a Notification " "Urist Mc youronlyminer" Collided with an Object and died".

Well atleast i had a very good laugh at the fact that the accident of a Dwarf falls 15 Z Levels and ends up as a Pool of Blood and Limbs gets reffered as "Colliding with an Object". Considering what he looks like now (I think if i would get hit by a Truck at fullspeed and afterwards be Rammed into a Iron Wall while being glued to his front, i would still look not quite as Dead as that Miner) i dont really know if i really want to finish that pit. Any suggestions by the way?^^
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Soapalope on January 21, 2011, 04:54:42 pm
Having a dwarf named Kemsa Splashcandies kindof rules out the idea of Fun. I mean, who wants to kill someone with a name like that?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on January 21, 2011, 05:49:53 pm
Forgot that jewelery shops have three unpassable tiles on the right side, and walled in a well-loved dwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bohandas on January 21, 2011, 06:24:20 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on January 21, 2011, 05:49:53 pm
Forgot that jewelery shops have three unpassable tiles on the right side, and walled in a well-loved dwarf.

Did you realize it in time to deconstruct the shop?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on January 22, 2011, 10:35:37 am
He died of thirst, and I removed a wall to get his stuff.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on January 22, 2011, 12:16:08 pm
Well, that was a crappy start to Trumpetriddled.  ::)

I didn't really like the location when I got there, and it turned out that there were nine buzzards, two sturgeons, a sea lamprey and six alligators. Lovely. Oh well, get on with it, gave designations, left my mason/engravery fellow (female, actually) near my start in case of buzzard (not that I weapons) and before anyone actually really started with the designation poor Zasit Rashrovod, expedition leader, had his head pulled off by an alligator. Poor fellow. :(

Embark, elsewhere!

Maybe a new world.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: K17U on January 22, 2011, 04:33:41 pm
"Hey, when did I build that orthoclase up/down stairway?! Wth, how far does it go up? I don't remember building that!
....
oh nvm, it's the cursor"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on January 23, 2011, 04:05:12 am
1) imp
2) 3 fireballs
3) many pet animals killed, depot burned, entire wood stockpile burning
4) tantrum spiral
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: eepkeep on January 23, 2011, 07:16:24 am
Forgetting to shut the floodgate in the farming zone long enough to flood the lower levels, where all my dwarves were sleeping soundly in their bedrooms.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Soapalope on January 23, 2011, 10:35:36 am
Watching an axedwarf and a speardwarf get mauled by a giant bat, when earlier in that session, a giant bat had been eaten by my camel.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shootandrun on January 23, 2011, 04:14:42 pm
So, I started building "bomb shelters" at some places in my fortress. You know, you are never too safe, and if a siege, or HFS, or pretty much anything destroy my military it will save the civilians. It's also like a challenge. Each bomb shelter can protect ten dwarves for something like, one season. They are simple room, not too big, with beds, tables and chairs, food, and one copper pick. I planned on making farms and water inside, too, but that would be for later. These room have magma around it and you can only go at this place with a raising bridge. The lever is inside the bomb shelter. So, in my third one, I had a mechanic who was linking the bridge, and just to make sure it worked well, I tested the thing. The mechanic pull the lever, try to go eat something... and get crushed by the raising bridge.

/facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on January 23, 2011, 04:27:06 pm
Great idea, I will try it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shootandrun on January 23, 2011, 06:37:05 pm
Oh, the irony. I breached HFS because of a really weird adamantine vein by accident. I would have needed that bomb shelter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on January 23, 2011, 08:12:00 pm
Quote from: Shootandrun on January 23, 2011, 04:14:42 pm
So, I started building "bomb shelters" at some places in my fortress. You know, you are never too safe, and if a siege, or HFS, or pretty much anything destroy my military it will save the civilians. It's also like a challenge. Each bomb shelter can protect ten dwarves for something like, one season. They are simple room, not too big, with beds, tables and chairs, food, and one copper pick. I planned on making farms and water inside, too, but that would be for later. These room have magma around it and you can only go at this place with a raising bridge. The lever is inside the bomb shelter. So, in my third one, I had a mechanic who was linking the bridge, and just to make sure it worked well, I tested the thing. The mechanic pull the lever, try to go eat something... and get crushed by the raising bridge.

/facepalm.

Exactly what happened to my elf a few pages back. Building levers adjacent to bridges is a bad idea, I've learned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Noctriate on January 24, 2011, 12:45:51 am
After numerous forts lasting a couple years, I finally figured out how to assign a broker.

I want to cry.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Erkki on January 24, 2011, 01:19:55 am
During a siege, some gobbos got through the trap corridor, and I sent my 16 legendaries to finish them off. But then, my count, also a legendary miner and a legendary mason from the starting 7, ran past all the armoured soldiers to get some sock the gobbos had dropped. Mass-forbidding everything in the trap corridor didnt help. Then hes around the corner and decides to charge the Jabberer and Goblin Mace Lord.

First hit crushed his head.

 :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mickey Blue on January 24, 2011, 01:27:46 am
Happened a long time ago, started up in a snowy area, had one dwarf digging out my cave, another chopping trees and the rest gathering plants.  Over time we ran out of crops so I let the remaining five hang by the wagon.. At the first sign of spring I get a spam of 'so and so has died" messages, turns out my wagon was parked on a pond and when it unfroze the wagon, all my supplies, and five of my seven dwarves plunged to their deaths.

I thought long and hard about continuing, I had two dwarves along with an axe and a pick, I could drain the lake to get back what was in there and then rebuild, but ultimately decided against it.

By sheer chance some time later I ended up in a similar situation (I always check now) and managed to offload everything but a few quivers before the wagon fell into the lake, live and learn :)

-MB
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on January 24, 2011, 01:44:30 am
Quote from: Mickey Blue on January 24, 2011, 01:27:46 am
Happened a long time ago, started up in a snowy area, had one dwarf digging out my cave, another chopping trees and the rest gathering plants.  Over time we ran out of crops so I let the remaining five hang by the wagon.. At the first sign of spring I get a spam of 'so and so has died" messages, turns out my wagon was parked on a pond and when it unfroze the wagon, all my supplies, and five of my seven dwarves plunged to their deaths.

I thought long and hard about continuing, I had two dwarves along with an axe and a pick, I could drain the lake to get back what was in there and then rebuild, but ultimately decided against it.

By sheer chance some time later I ended up in a similar situation (I always check now) and managed to offload everything but a few quivers before the wagon fell into the lake, live and learn :)

-MB

I had thought that buildings on top of ice did not collapse when it melted?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GamerKnight on January 24, 2011, 03:09:01 am
Ouch. I once dug straight down into HFS and flooded it with magma taken from the nearby volcano's magma reserves. Turned out fire imps can come out of running lava. Then flooded it with water to seal it up with obsidian to stop the fire imps. The obsidian diverted the magma into my fort. Only one dwarven child survived, and was promptly killed by a skeletal gibbon.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mickey Blue on January 24, 2011, 12:04:33 pm
Quote from: Ibid Straydrink on January 24, 2011, 01:44:30 am


I had thought that buildings on top of ice did not collapse when it melted?

Cannot speak for buildings, nor do I know if things have changed since this happened (back in 40d), and honestly I don't even recall if my wagon was definitely 'destroyed', though I think it was, when it fell.. But I can assure you that at some point in this games development (two points actually) if your wagon was parked on a frozen lake when it unfroze it and everything on it would sink to the bottom, including any unlucky dwarves.

-MB
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on January 24, 2011, 12:36:36 pm
Fire imp killed workers of my magma industry. Including my armor/weapon smith.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on January 24, 2011, 10:27:50 pm
Cave-in based sky defense system + fort rooms directly below the surface = FUN.

Whoops. There goes half the fort. At least we killed those buzzards!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zrk2 on January 25, 2011, 11:45:13 am
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on January 24, 2011, 10:27:50 pm
Cave-in based sky defense system + fort rooms directly below the surface = FUN.

Whoops. There goes half the fort. At least we killed those buzzards!

Sigged!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ColonelTEE3 on January 25, 2011, 01:16:30 pm
Quote from: AncientEnemy on April 20, 2009, 09:18:57 pm
discovering the d->b menu.

oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones

Well, i just learned something new from reading just the first couple posts in this thread. Thank you.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on January 25, 2011, 04:03:13 pm
My fort's very first snatcher. Is a dumbass. Was spotted by my militia commander who was about to go training. :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UristMcMoron on January 25, 2011, 04:27:25 pm
Just spent the better part of a week ramping up steel production and carefully digging out cotton candy for my first HFS assault.  Spent hours building a nice long maze of levered masterwork steel spike traps. 

Promote an expendable miner to breach the pretty tube, two squads of legendaries at the ready behind the traps.

Nothing. 

I seem to have generated a map without the extra Fun.  I spent two years getting working booze production on a tundra map with exactly one underground murky pool and no trees above the third cavern for that?  Doh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Soapalope on January 25, 2011, 04:44:15 pm
My best axelord, with skilled armour use and shield use, has just grown attached to...

A cedarwood training axe.

This is not a good day.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on January 25, 2011, 04:49:06 pm
Quote from: UristMcMoron on January 25, 2011, 04:27:25 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
look for another tube. you breached the wrong one  ;)
ans spoiler that please.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on January 25, 2011, 05:11:34 pm
Quote from: TolyK on January 25, 2011, 04:49:06 pm
look for another tube. you breached the wrong one  ;)
You still get the screaming and the spawning. Exposing the hollow also exposes the area beneath it.

UristMcMoron, have you tried running dfprospector on the site?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on January 26, 2011, 08:42:36 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on January 25, 2011, 05:11:34 pm
Quote from: TolyK on January 25, 2011, 04:49:06 pm
look for another tube. you breached the wrong one  ;)
You still get the screaming and the spawning. Exposing the hollow also exposes the area beneath it.

UristMcMoron, have you tried running dfprospector on the site?
no that's not true. yes it exposes the area beneath it, but not all tubes are spawned under. try dumping cats in there, or better yet make a staircase down. let them explore...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: indigo on January 26, 2011, 01:51:35 pm
Trading with elves, and I somehow amassed an enormous supply of obsidian which, after covering my nobles' rooms with, I made into swords and tried to sell about a million of them to the elves. "Little did he know" obsidian swords are the ONLY non-wood weapon made using wood. At least they haven't declared war on me... yet. They did leave rather huffily, though.

Also, my current fortress area thinks good things are better in twos. Whenever I get a goblin ambush, I get another goblin ambush literally seconds later, to the point I was convinced this was a feature until I learned it wasn't. Okay, no big deal, just set lots of cage traps and put them in the stripper cages.

But when the same principle applies to forgotten beasts who exhale noxious fumes? Fun ensues. And the facepalm factor comes into play after I had walled off so I could be invincible temporarily hold them at bay until I was ready and then immediately dug a tunnel out for diverting the cavern lake into my underground shroom farm, allowing them to just waltz in through the water main. They both struck probably within five minutes of each other. Fortunately, my mighty dwarf militia killed them off with only about 8 deaths total.

Oh, and checking the justice screen and seeing the people being beaten and caged were being punished for vandalism or fist fights, and my Captain of the Guard had a massive jail time racked up for 5 or 6 murders (I'm sure it had nothing to do with beating people with an obsidian sword). Nobility at it's best.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Soapalope on January 26, 2011, 04:06:48 pm
Oh look, fifteen immigrants at once!

-checks stats-

STRAND EXTRACTOR!?!?!?!?!
CLOTHIER?!?!?!?!?!
******* HIGH MASTER ******* TRAPPER?!?!?!?!?!

Oh, novice small animal dissector.

Wait.

NOVICE SMALL ANIMAL DISSECTOR?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on January 26, 2011, 04:37:54 pm
I had one high master milk, proficient dyer and talented cheese maker. As one dwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on January 26, 2011, 08:05:11 pm
Quote from: TolyK on January 26, 2011, 08:42:36 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on January 25, 2011, 05:11:34 pm
You still get the screaming and the spawning. Exposing the hollow also exposes the area beneath it.
no that's not true. yes it exposes the area beneath it, but not all tubes are spawned under.
I've breached one tube and had them spawn in sight somewhere else. They're probably there, even if you can't see them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ext0l on January 26, 2011, 08:58:36 pm
(http://img.ie/images/8bc31.jpg)

 >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on January 27, 2011, 03:07:58 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on January 26, 2011, 08:05:11 pm
Quote from: TolyK on January 26, 2011, 08:42:36 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on January 25, 2011, 05:11:34 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Please use spoilers.  Really.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on January 27, 2011, 12:31:19 pm
did I not...
shit. sorry.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serrational on January 27, 2011, 02:23:56 pm
My first siege. "Ok" I say, "Let's send everyone indoors".
A few minutes later "Urist McUnhappy has died of thirst"...
Wait, I have plenty of booze, so he's just an accident. Been moping round the caverns for ages anyway.
Several thirst related deaths later, I actually decide to send my military out to kill the goblins. It takes 8 deaths, but they finally all die. And then I find my finest warrior, unbreakable, mighty etc, ran in, killed one goblin before being knocked over and stabbed repeatedly. And here's the thing. 129 pages of stabbing later she is still alive. And she had Legendary Marksdwarf. And she had an Iron Spear. (facepalm)
AND she was my best hunter (facepalm) AND now she's a cripple who can't even drag herself to the hospital / lignite store (facepalm).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Leonard DeVir on January 27, 2011, 08:22:55 pm
"Moron McHauler has died of thirst". Wait...he was my legendary armorsmith, how come. By checking - he walled himself in with a statue, ironically right next to the booze stockpile. Faces and palmes, dear Watson.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on January 28, 2011, 02:06:23 am
Quote from: ext0l on January 26, 2011, 08:58:36 pm
Spoiler: uncropped picture (click to show/hide)
>:(

Broker needed a babysitter (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5zfNhfOklQ).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Voyager on January 28, 2011, 12:29:15 pm
Fort #3:  I keep getting Goblin Ambushes where my army gets slaughtered across the field, so I've been trying to build up enough steel armour for them to have some semblance of protection.  I've got the full steel economy up and running on coke and steel bars piling up.  I've got enough hammers for the troop, so I've prioritized armour, and set my only skilled armour smith set to the task of crafting more.  Armour is the only Steel item I'm producing, and its the only task she's set to. 

We have plenty of coke, steel coming out the ears, and a nice workshop all ready for her, with a stack of bars right next to it.  They're not forbidden, the workshop stone is not banned, so why is no armour being made?

She was one of the first casualties of the first Goblin ambush.  She's been a vegetable sleeping in my hospital ever since.  That was about two years ago.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RurikGreenwulf on January 28, 2011, 03:01:37 pm
Forgetting that water also moves diagonally when building my drowning trade depot chamber and putting the floodgate
like this I I
           I I
           I I_ _
           IX_ _
So much FUN
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MonkeyHead on January 28, 2011, 05:20:41 pm
outdoors meeting place on edge of caldera. alligators. gorillas. dodging into magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lortath on January 28, 2011, 07:49:04 pm
New migration wave of 8 migrants.

I get a LEGENDARY +3
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I'm so happy
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Maynot on January 28, 2011, 11:43:11 pm
Quote from: Soapalope on January 26, 2011, 04:06:48 pm
Oh look, fifteen immigrants at once!

-checks stats-

STRAND EXTRACTOR!?!?!?!?!
CLOTHIER?!?!?!?!?!
******* HIGH MASTER ******* TRAPPER?!?!?!?!?!

Oh, novice small animal dissector.

Wait.

NOVICE SMALL ANIMAL DISSECTOR?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Strand extractors have a useful purpose.  They process the raw adamantine which happens to take a long time.  The rest are useless.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bohandas on January 28, 2011, 11:46:47 pm
Quote from: Maynot on January 28, 2011, 11:43:11 pm
Quote from: Soapalope on January 26, 2011, 04:06:48 pm
Oh look, fifteen immigrants at once!

-checks stats-

STRAND EXTRACTOR!?!?!?!?!
CLOTHIER?!?!?!?!?!
******* HIGH MASTER ******* TRAPPER?!?!?!?!?!

Oh, novice small animal dissector.

Wait.

NOVICE SMALL ANIMAL DISSECTOR?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Strand extractors have a useful purpose.  They process the raw adamantine which happens to take a long time.  The rest are useless.

Well, useless unless you have a very specific and unusual vision for your fortress...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haedrian on January 29, 2011, 06:28:46 am
I dismantled a screwpump tower where the pumps were resting on each other.

This caused a collapse which killed my Duke (^_^), a very good strand extractor and fisherdorf with a baby.
---
I also was removing a construction on top of a moat, in the usual manner, a cave in ensured, which punched through the moat, and 5 levels of my fortress. Causing quite a few floods until I tugged the failsafe to turn the moat refill off.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MonkeyHead on January 29, 2011, 07:52:52 am
i LIKE clothiers. clothing is a highly profitable trade good with a renewable and sustainable input. plus they can do images of cool stuff on socks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MythagoWoods on January 29, 2011, 05:38:28 pm
My Baron just requested slade goods...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyDoom on January 29, 2011, 08:10:53 pm
Quote from: MythagoWoods on January 29, 2011, 05:38:28 pm
My Baron just requested slade goods...

Pull the Anti-Baron lever?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MythagoWoods on January 29, 2011, 08:17:13 pm
It's on my to-do list right after I get back from work.  Or, if I don't want to build an execution lever, what would happen if I dropped granite on him from a few Z-levels up while he sleeps?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Maynot on January 29, 2011, 09:46:34 pm
Dropping stuff on them will only work with a cave-in situation.  Dumping items won't cause that.

Anyway, I have medical dwarves that have every other task disabled other than the Health Care tags and they still sit around with 'No Job' while the infirmary fills with wounded.  I also don't have any active burrows.

Also the medical dwarves go running to the stockpile for thread and cloth instead of using the supplies in the hospital.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xtank5 on January 29, 2011, 10:34:25 pm
Quote from: Maynot on January 29, 2011, 09:46:34 pm
Anyway, I have medical dwarves that have every other task disabled other than the Health Care tags and they still sit around with 'No Job' while the infirmary fills with wounded.  I also don't have any active burrows.

Also the medical dwarves go running to the stockpile for thread and cloth instead of using the supplies in the hospital.
It sounds like you need to make the hospital an actual hospital zone. Save first because making zones is a little buggy and can crash if you try to cancel mid-designation.  See here (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/DF2010:Healthcare#Setting_up_a_Hospital) for more helpful information. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Leonard DeVir on January 30, 2011, 08:22:16 am
Oh nice, dwarven alcohol now makes my miners more clever! *designates wide area for channeling* Ah, the joy of watching them not killing each other and themselves...
WAIT YOU ARE ON THE WRONG SI-
"A section of the cavern has collapsed!"
"Urist McSuicide has suffocated to death."

Sigh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: henkalv on January 30, 2011, 09:03:40 am
I was opening and closing my bridge to lure the sieging gobos into my traps, suddenly 30+- dwarfs decided that it was a good idea to storm out to recover dead dwarfs. I went from 60 to 30 dwarfs in the matter of seconds, luckily I managed to close the gate before the rest stormed out.

I just had another one too. I had a ghost that was just hanging around in the dinning hall ("whos that papa?" "Hmm, oh thats just old Agronla" "why is he floating like that?" " He died down in the deep caves a long time ago, never got around recovering his body" "oh") When suddenly about two years after he first appear he scares my legendary engraver to death. That memorial is coming up. (it might be that it was not the same ghost, but I am pretty sure that it was)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haedrian on January 30, 2011, 10:21:02 am
Had a glassmaker jailed for not following a production order. Almost starved to death, so i removed the chain and let him loose.

Captain of the Guard (who's one-handed after losing a fight with an Ogre) grabs the nearest weapon at hand and delivers a beating instead. Unfortunatly nearest weapon and hand happened to be an exceptional adamentine battleaxe.

First strike destroys the stomach
Second strike chops a leg off
Third strike smashes the skull and embeds itself.

Whoops.

Just realised that the same axe also has another dwarven kill on it. Didn't realise he was missing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mnjiman on January 30, 2011, 05:08:30 pm
Quote from: henkalv on January 30, 2011, 09:03:40 am
I was opening and closing my bridge to lure the sieging gobos into my traps, suddenly 30+- dwarfs decided that it was a good idea to storm out to recover dead dwarfs. I went from 60 to 30 dwarfs in the matter of seconds, luckily I managed to close the gate before the rest stormed out.

I just had another one too. I had a ghost that was just hanging around in the dinning hall ("whos that papa?" "Hmm, oh thats just old Agronla" "why is he floating like that?" " He died down in the deep caves a long time ago, never got around recovering his body" "oh") When suddenly about two years after he first appear he scares my legendary engraver to death. That memorial is coming up. (it might be that it was not the same ghost, but I am pretty sure that it was)

Can i see that report, or something showing this.. i didnt know dwarfs could be scared to death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: clockout1 on January 30, 2011, 05:43:40 pm
Facepalm moment one-

1. Dig into underground cavern; begin building farm.
2. Designate walls to seal off farm; wait for construction...
3. Draltha enters fortress; ignored due to the fact that it is an herbivore.
4. Miner cancels dig: interrupted by Draltha.
5. Inspect wounds; foot missing.

Facepalm moment two:

1. Dwarf throws tantrum.
2. Miner cancels dig: interrupted by Urist McPissy.
3. Miner has bled to death; stabbed with Urist McPissy's pickaxe.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Voyager on January 30, 2011, 06:05:25 pm
Quote from: RurikGreenwulf on January 28, 2011, 03:01:37 pm
Forgetting that water also moves diagonally when building my drowning trade depot chamber and putting the floodgate
like this I I
           I I
           I I_ _
           IX_ _
So much FUN

I almost did that while build the the channel to my cistern.  To avoid the fun of Building Destroyers and Lever Nuts, I was going to wall it off when it was full.  It is in a dirt layer, so I've been constructing stone floors and walls to keep it from picking up mud on the way in.  Of course, you can't build walls on floors, so I'd heave to deconstruct the floor to put up the wall, which would muddy the water.  So I have to channel the floor, and put a wall in below to act like a floor, but this digs another hole into my storage level, so I needed to build more walls around it, so the water couldn't leak through diagonally. 

It was like the four little flag stones scene from Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House

And now an insane elf in a rope reed loincloth is chasing my cook around...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haedrian on January 30, 2011, 06:38:57 pm
Hmm apparently you can't throw caged wild creatures off pits anymore without them trying to maul whoever it is who's trying to toss them.

At least it was a relatively weak creature and only killed 1 dorf 2 animals.

Worst part was that when it got tired out from killing (and having its legs smashed), a dorf actually lead it half the way to the pit before it became aggressive again
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: papercrane1001 on January 30, 2011, 11:25:20 pm
Okay, I just had one.

I was using my drowning chamber like usual to kill some troglodytes.  I throw the lever to release them from the cages, throw the lever to open the floodgates, watch them drown for a moment, and then go and do other things. 

Until I get an announcement "Urist McBroker cancels drink: interrupted by troglodyte."

Apparently after the room filled up, they swam out the ceiling, along the channel, and out through a lake I had accidentally connected, but hadn't thought it would cause problems. 

Granted, it looks like the only injuries will be broken toes on the broker, but still.  Going to have to find a way to fix that particular problem...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: henkalv on January 31, 2011, 12:34:46 am
Quote from: mnjiman on January 30, 2011, 05:08:30 pm
Quote from: henkalv on January 30, 2011, 09:03:40 am
I was opening and closing my bridge to lure the sieging gobos into my traps, suddenly 30+- dwarfs decided that it was a good idea to storm out to recover dead dwarfs. I went from 60 to 30 dwarfs in the matter of seconds, luckily I managed to close the gate before the rest stormed out.

I just had another one too. I had a ghost that was just hanging around in the dinning hall ("whos that papa?" "Hmm, oh thats just old Agronla" "why is he floating like that?" " He died down in the deep caves a long time ago, never got around recovering his body" "oh") When suddenly about two years after he first appear he scares my legendary engraver to death. That memorial is coming up. (it might be that it was not the same ghost, but I am pretty sure that it was)

Can i see that report, or something showing this.. i didnt know dwarfs could be scared to death.

I am not sure where it would be, I have abandoned the fort and I did not take any screens
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on January 31, 2011, 01:18:22 am
It exists. I've seen her with me own eyes- the white wh- message.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GamerKnight on January 31, 2011, 01:34:02 am
Egads...  Make a dwarf friends with your noble, and only your noble,  and then kill the dwarf in way to make him pissed, and then he will kill the noble!!! I'm a genius!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jingles on January 31, 2011, 06:41:03 am
Quote from: GamerKnight on January 31, 2011, 01:34:02 am
Egads...  Make a dwarf friends with your noble, and only your noble,  and then kill the dwarf in way to make him pissed, and then he will kill the noble!!! I'm a genius!
They maintain the relationships they had in life.  All that would happen is that the noble would be upset by being haunted and the friend might go around scaring other dwarfs to death, or just batter them so they end up in hospital.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GamerKnight on January 31, 2011, 06:42:25 am
Alright, make him friends with everyone except the noble! Don't poke holes in this! I may have came up with a way to supernaturally kill dwarves!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MythagoWoods on January 31, 2011, 06:47:59 am
My baron threw a tantrum about me not making adamantite items and pulled my death level then went about it way.

Then got gored by 5 menacing wooden spikes.
Title: A Siege of One
Post by: Flaede on January 31, 2011, 08:15:51 am
The werewolves' siege took out almost the entire Ithillid siege, then died of their injuries. Almost the entire Ithillid siege. That almost is important. There is one Void Master sitting out there, mocking me. Just out of bowshot, but close enough to burninate the peasants if I let them go outside.

I killed all the normal, regular Ithillids that got stuck in my moat, but I know for a fact this Void Master is too powerful to deal with myself. After all, he's the one that gave those injuries to all the werewolves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Squeejee on January 31, 2011, 02:40:52 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"I know!  I'll connect the bottom of my waterfall back to the ocean!  It'll be like a drain!"  5 Dwarfs survived, then immediately started killing each other.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zrk2 on January 31, 2011, 02:56:24 pm
Wecome to the forums, and you could try Spoiler tags...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iados on January 31, 2011, 03:22:53 pm
new fort: i designate an area to dig.

my dorfs manage to cause 3 cave-ins within 1 minute from starting the fortress. One miner died, the other is giving to pain every 5 seconds, and the farmer i chosed to substitude the first miner manage to break both legs.

Somebody hates me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: userpay on January 31, 2011, 08:27:46 pm
Third artifact of the fort, a sun gold splint.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on January 31, 2011, 08:49:03 pm
Quote from: userpay on January 31, 2011, 08:27:46 pm
Third artifact of the fort, a sun gold splint.

Just think of all the miner volunteers you'll be having.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on January 31, 2011, 10:31:17 pm
I just had one. Sort of...
I was having my dwarves build some walls... and I got distracted...

:facepalm:

And lo and behold... the dwarves didn't seal themselves on the wrong side of the wall.
It's kind of an anti-facepalm... but the problem was, I had a back up plan to get them out...

Turns out I wasted five minutes, setting up the alternative way out... and they did the opposite of what I expect from them.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: obeliab on January 31, 2011, 11:15:10 pm
One of my earliest forts was brought to its water-drinking knees because of Prepare Lavish Meal on repeat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on February 01, 2011, 12:47:33 am
Got another one. A female dwarf was building a wall, when her son showed up and sat down right where the wall was supposed to be built.

The little bugger wouldn't move for nothing. Eventually, I had to wait until he decided to move before I could un-suspend construction. If I did it too soon the mother would come back and the kid would continue to sit there all the longer.

Mrs. Urist: Can you move, son?
Urist Jr.  : No.
Mrs. Urist: Move now!
Urist Jr.  : ____ off, mom.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ext0l on February 01, 2011, 01:04:50 am
Quote from: obeliab on January 31, 2011, 11:15:10 pm
One of my earliest forts was brought to its water-drinking knees because of Prepare Lavish Meal on repeat.

This is why after the hunters immigrate to my fort and I have enough animals, I disallow plants to be used for cooking.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on February 01, 2011, 07:29:00 pm
Quote from: Squeejee on January 31, 2011, 02:40:52 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
"I know!  I'll connect the bottom of my waterfall back to the ocean!  It'll be like a drain!"  5 Dwarfs survived, then immediately started killing each other.
Ouch. Nice idea, nice lay out, poor implementation. :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Squeejee on February 01, 2011, 09:37:36 pm
Got another one.  Angry at the Elves (we've all been there, right?), I sent my 10-Dwarf military to wipe out the caravan and seize their assets.  Two months later, my military Dwarves were still attacking the Elves.  With -Training Sword-s.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: noob on February 02, 2011, 01:46:25 am
i had 3 sieging races siege me at the same time (mod). i put the lever that would drop the enemies down onto my upright spikes on repeat. right as they stepped on the bridge urist mcfatty decides it would be the perfect time to get food and stop pulling the lever. i lost the entire fort:'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GamerKnight on February 02, 2011, 02:19:47 am
Whenever I have an important defense lever I set two or three dwarves to it, all in burrows that only overlap at the lever so they won't socialise.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iados on February 02, 2011, 05:36:36 am
discovering you can remove stockpiles with p->x

FACEWALL
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GamerKnight on February 02, 2011, 06:15:20 am
Tee hee.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JujuBubu on February 02, 2011, 07:04:56 am
I earned a good slap to my forehead today,

I was piercing an aquifer and the pumping equipment was based in a round room I channeled, because I want to build a central staircaise right there,
and a tower on top of it.
I pump the water back into the aquifer through a walled of ring between the pumps and the tower walls.

Then I found out there is a second layer.
So I expanded the area to pump. To save wood I only used a row of pumps next to a 1 tile wide channel and pumped the water into a hole back into the aqiver.
It worked well for the first two rows. After I set up the third row of pumps and started pumping nothing happened.
The water dropped to six and sloshed around a bit.
So I searched. Am I pumping in the wrong direction ?
No.
Does it flow back somewhere ?
No.
Maybe there are not enough pumps ..
Order 5 more .. no
Order 10 more .. still no
what the heck ..

Water flows through diagonal edges .. right ?
Now what if I remove those three diagonal edges ..
Check ..
Thats it .. the first row worked fine, it was directly connected to the hole
The second row worked fine, because I used the pumps to irrigate my farming area, which had a outlet of its own ..
The third row did now work .. because the water did not flow fast enough through the diagonal gap to allow the pumps
to pump away the water from the aqiver. *facepalm*
I channeled away the three tiles that "blocked" the flow and 10 minutes later I discovered magnetite :)

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on February 02, 2011, 06:55:18 pm
Taken to building forts into cliffs that dive straight into cliffslakes. I was going to build the workshops below the waterline, but I accidentally dug into the lake when digging a hallway. If I had been sitting at a desk at the time, I probably would have *HEADDESKED*.

edit: Cliff diving straight into cliffs? *facepalm*^3
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zrk2 on February 02, 2011, 08:14:49 pm
When dwarves remove constructions, they just let the blocks fall. 40 wasted obsidian blocks later my temple to Armok is going rather slowly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: somebody on February 03, 2011, 01:21:16 am
smirking when the first invaders come to my fortress in the after a massive trade and then finding out that i never built the west side of the wall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pukako on February 03, 2011, 05:26:33 am
Setting two squads of marksdwarves on the Mountain Titan, to find out I had no bolts anywhere in the fort...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JacenHanLovesLegos on February 03, 2011, 02:26:53 pm
My dwarves are following the traders in a hode for their medical supplies. *Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spork The Slightly Insane on February 03, 2011, 05:46:55 pm
I built an execution tower. I forgot to put a roof on it. The first Megabeast to attack could fly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DStecks on February 03, 2011, 06:10:36 pm
Quote from: papercrane1001 on January 30, 2011, 11:25:20 pm
Okay, I just had one.

I was using my drowning chamber like usual to kill some troglodytes.  I throw the lever to release them from the cages, throw the lever to open the floodgates, watch them drown for a moment, and then go and do other things. 

Until I get an announcement "Urist McBroker cancels drink: interrupted by troglodyte."

Apparently after the room filled up, they swam out the ceiling, along the channel, and out through a lake I had accidentally connected, but hadn't thought it would cause problems. 

Granted, it looks like the only injuries will be broken toes on the broker, but still.  Going to have to find a way to fix that particular problem...


You attempted to drown amphibious creatures and the possibility of this not working never occurred to you?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Leonard DeVir on February 03, 2011, 09:11:38 pm
Sigh. One slight mistake, so small yet so hot.

I accidentially built a screw pump in a way that it faced in the wrong direction, assigned an operator, left for coffee. When I came back, Ive seen the whole z-level..flooded with magma, my operator still happily pumping away *double facepalm*

I assigned him off, he wanted to run away and was caught in magma *brutallity facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Silent_Thunder on February 04, 2011, 01:10:59 am
Well I had rigged an intricate system to provide a lava moat to every room. Unfortunatly there are certain rooms that should not have lava moats. Namely danger room, and daycare rooms.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serrational on February 05, 2011, 06:49:02 am
Just started building up a military. Just remembered no goblins live near here, this is a serene area and as long as I stay away from the carp-infested rivers, I'm fine.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on February 05, 2011, 06:53:02 am
they will still siege, as long as they have access ;)
keep that militia up!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BlandoTaco on February 05, 2011, 12:43:45 pm
Holy crap I was banging my head against the wall for this one.

Got a wave of migrants who weren't doing anything (aside from pissing me off) so I thought "maybe they need to go to a meeting area or something... I need a meeting area," so I made one.

No change

Wait a minute, is that a brook or a river...

I am such a noob :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 05, 2011, 01:45:40 pm
Quote from: DStecks on February 03, 2011, 06:10:36 pm
You attempted to drown amphibious creatures and the possibility of this not working never occurred to you?
They should drown as long as they don't have the 'no breathe' tag, because unless they have gills they still need to take in air through the lungs (or skin, though that should only be sufficient for vermin-sized creatures). But since DF doesn't model different types of respiratory systems, with non-aquatic creatures it's just a question of a. whether a creature needs access to air, and b. whether or not it can take advantage of any air access (ie. swimming vs. drowning).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shrapull on February 05, 2011, 01:49:14 pm
My biggest facepalm moment to date has probably been the time that I saw my entire fortress very unhappy - people were throwing tantrums, patients couldn't get water, stockpile error spams were going wild - and I then realized I had kept the doors to the outside of the fortress locked for almost half a year after the latest ambush.

Good thing it was still pet-passable.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: henkalv on February 05, 2011, 05:45:45 pm
just found magma on z level -6   :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MythagoWoods on February 05, 2011, 08:30:42 pm
Quote from: henkalv on February 05, 2011, 05:45:45 pm
just found magma on z level -6   :D

That's a face palm... how?  (Unless you then subsequently flooded your fortress with it)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shootandrun on February 05, 2011, 09:35:48 pm
Urist McBadasscaptain, adamantine clad superpowerful leader of the military, legendary in every single fighting skills, with 103 kills (46 notable) just got killed by some freaking balista while he was going to take water at the river.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on February 05, 2011, 11:41:10 pm
Long story short, a recent act of mismanagement on my part resulted in a torrent of three dozen wild foxes pouring down the stairway from the kennels and into the dining hall of Heavenspick. An epic battle ensued between the the cat-dogs and a group of salty old veterans. Unfortunately the fortress' only, long-anticipated Legendary  Engraver was caught in the crossfire, and will never use his hands. His only consolation is extremely silky entry rug in his room.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on February 05, 2011, 11:57:28 pm
Quote from: Ibid Straydrink on February 05, 2011, 11:41:10 pm
Long story short, a recent act of mismanagement on my part resulted in a torrent of three dozen wild foxes pouring down the stairway from the kennels and into the dining hall of Heavenspick. An epic battle ensued between the the cat-dogs and a group of salty old veterans. Unfortunately the fortress' only, long-anticipated Legendary  Engraver was caught in the crossfire, and will never use his hands. His only consolation is extremely silky entry rug in his room.
I don't think a dwarf needs the use of their hands to engrave.
I could be wrong.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GamerKnight on February 06, 2011, 12:00:43 am
On the wiki they joke that they use their beards.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on February 06, 2011, 12:07:54 am
It must be the small cut on his toe, then.  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: henkalv on February 06, 2011, 02:16:59 am
Quote from: MythagoWoods on February 05, 2011, 08:30:42 pm
Quote from: henkalv on February 05, 2011, 05:45:45 pm
just found magma on z level -6   :D

That's a face palm... how?  (Unless you then subsequently flooded your fortress with it)

I usually find it way above z level 0
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AlBravo on February 06, 2011, 06:48:56 am
Quote from: Shrapull on February 05, 2011, 01:49:14 pm
My biggest facepalm moment to date has probably been the time that I saw my entire fortress very unhappy - people were throwing tantrums, patients couldn't get water, stockpile error spams were going wild - and I then realized I had kept the doors to the outside of the fortress locked for almost half a year after the latest ambush.

Good thing it was still pet-passable.

Did this.  Almost to the point of rage quit before I figured it out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on February 06, 2011, 01:39:39 pm
The militia commander hacks The Gorlak in the head with her -bronze battle axe-, tearing apart the muscle and tearing apart the right kidney.

What in the what?

EDIT: According to the raws on the Magmawiki, Gorlaks keep all their organs in their head. Fascinating.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: userpay on February 06, 2011, 04:30:46 pm
Took four cobat battle axe strikes to the head, skull shatter, into the brain, ect to kill one elk where as all the other ones went easily.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Devling on February 06, 2011, 05:21:31 pm
Got quest. Saw cliff. Did awesome face and to show my manlyness jumped of the cliff. Facepalmed ontu floor 50 feet down. Facepalmed in real life. FIN
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on February 06, 2011, 06:54:50 pm
Quote from: Devling on February 06, 2011, 05:21:31 pm
Got quest. Saw cliff. Did awesome face and to show my manlyness jumped of the cliff. Facepalmed ontu floor 50 feet down. Facepalmed in real life. FIN

...so, wait, why did you jump off of a cliff?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Funtimes on February 06, 2011, 08:11:47 pm
Probably because it looked like a harmless fool and just wanted some quick laughs. Funny how the RNG hates that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: userpay on February 06, 2011, 11:16:53 pm
(Military dwarf) has grown attached to a cobalt battle axe. *facedesks* I was right about to get my smelters and such going to.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AlBravo on February 07, 2011, 09:37:54 am
PagePeaks is in lockdown with a cyclops circling the defensive wall.  My amateur archers take potshots as he crosses over a nearby hill doing little other than angering him more.  An unfortunate group of immigrants choose this time to show up.  3 are mauled immediately by the enraged cyclops.  Then, inexplicably, the cyclops takes off his pig tail glove and starts beating the hell out of the nearest unlucky immigrant.  The last 2 dwarves stand dumbstruck for a moment watching their friend being beaten savagely with a glove.  Then, coming to their senses, they make a mad dash for the fortress gates.  Scrambling up the mountain they make it to the huge drawbridge and start pounding madly for the gatekeeper to open up.  (you see it coming don't you?)  The gatekeeper throws the switch, the drawbridge chains fly from their wheels as the massive stone drawbridge slams to the ground.  The cleaning crew will be washing dwarf guts off the gates for weeks.

The cyclops is still out there beating that poor dwarf silly with his huge glove...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scaraban on February 07, 2011, 03:12:27 pm
actually he probably took that from one of the migrants, it happens, ALOT
hyper deadly beast picks up something to use as a weapon that completely nerfs them
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Funtimes on February 07, 2011, 05:12:56 pm
Mother, carrying two kids, just wandered into the danger room. First dwarf deaths.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: karloss99 on February 08, 2011, 03:01:51 am
First post...

My legendary urist McHunter spent years happily hunting unicorns, supplying my fortress with lots of meat... Until.

Until he got distracted by the beauty of my fortress floating river and happily walked into riverbed - with no frigging exit... (Well you know what happens now don't you ?) When i go to investigate the scene - i see him happily hugging a unicorn, both dead at the bottom of the river... Oh and I truly hope that cat over there was the hunters pet. (hehe...)

Well at least he died happy - thats what matters - right...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mkombat on February 08, 2011, 11:05:27 am
I've only been playing for a couple months, so I'm pretty prone to facepalm moments. I just had two recently that ring a bell.

1. Embarked on an area that was too cold, water source froze over. I got this bright idea that if I have a dwarf channel ice, surely that will break it away and water will come flowing out, sounds reasonable right? Well.. I was wrong. Not only did it not accomplish anything, a dwarf became encased in ice, never to be seen again.

2. Had a few dwarves channeling an area from above ground to reach a muddy spot for an underground farm. It worked, sure. One problem was, I didn't have a way for the dwarves to get back to the surface. I had the upward stairway, but the problem was that there was ground in the way. They got down there because it was from a slope, and there was no way for them to get back up. I thought it was weird.. dwarves standing around, but for some odd reason it never clicked that they were stranded there. I only really understood this when a dwarf starved to death. <-- And that's actually my current fortress, not the ice incident though.. that was a previous failed fortress. The main reason I didn't notice the dwarves stranded was that I was very busy around my fort. This was only one of my projects I was working on.

If I do anything else extremely facepalm worthy I'll be sure to let you all know.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lamphare on February 08, 2011, 01:28:52 pm
i could almost see my own face when i discovered i could us dwarf therapist, after playing at least 200 hours of DF
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on February 08, 2011, 05:54:19 pm
Quote from: Lamphare on February 08, 2011, 01:28:52 pm
i could almost see my own face when i discovered i could us dwarf therapist, after playing at least 200 hours of DF
Likewise, though my expression was probably different. The first time I opened the Therapist while playing DF, I thought "Oh, this is much too 'different,'" closed it, and didn't try it again for a week.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Horizon9 on February 08, 2011, 06:13:36 pm
First time I saw DF Therapist, I proceeded to ignore it completely.
I'm taking the hard way and managing everything without it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on February 08, 2011, 06:45:01 pm
I forgot how accurately fluid mechanics work in DF.

Now my hospital is flooding.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zrk2 on February 08, 2011, 07:39:52 pm
Quote from: Samuel on February 08, 2011, 06:45:01 pm
I remembered how accurately fluid mechanics work in DF.

Now my hospital is flooding.

Fixed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on February 08, 2011, 07:46:14 pm
Quote from: Zrk2 on February 08, 2011, 07:39:52 pm
Quote from: Samuel on February 08, 2011, 06:45:01 pm
I remembered how accurately fluid mechanics work in DF.

Now my hospital is flooding.

Fixed.

This actually was one of the rare times that a hospital flood was an accident on my part. My militia commander was, against all odds, recovering. My paralyzed, dying-from-infection Legendary Miner wasn't even in the hospital.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rushmik on February 09, 2011, 03:16:13 am
My first dwarf death was pretty facepalm-worthy.

I'd just appointed him to the military and, whilst sparring with the commander, a kobold thief struck! Fath the recruit took off after him enthusiastically- stepping into a 1x1 ditch filled with water. He drowned very quickly. :(

I facepalmed again when he possessed a farmer, who later started murdering everyone nearby.

EDIT: Forgot about my first ever fortress. Managed to flood the entire thing (the entire thing) because I hadn't grasped the z-levels / water physics idea.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on February 09, 2011, 11:20:07 am
Quote from: Rushmik on February 09, 2011, 03:16:13 am
My first dwarf death was pretty facepalm-worthy.

I'd just appointed him to the military and, whilst sparring with the commander, a kobold thief struck! Fath the recruit took off after him enthusiastically- stepping into a 1x1 ditch filled with water. He drowned very quickly. :(

I facepalmed again when he possessed a farmer, who later started murdering everyone nearby.

EDIT: Forgot about my first ever fortress. Managed to flood the entire thing (the entire thing) because I hadn't grasped the z-levels / water physics idea.

 :-\ Ditto.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The_Fool76 on February 10, 2011, 03:35:20 pm
In one of my earlier forts I built a big deep pit in front of the entrance with a bridge over it.   Later on, I decided to put my main hallway through the bottom of this pit to help ward off cave adaptation.

Then a bunch of goblins showed up, with crossbows. 

Me: Why did they just run up to the edge of the pit and what are they doing? 
Goblins: TARGET PRACTICE!  Wooo Hoo!
Dwarves: Ach! There's a goblin bolt in my nose!
Me: *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on February 10, 2011, 04:12:25 pm
Got to the circus for the first time ever.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Caprealis on February 11, 2011, 01:34:55 pm
I was digging out a bedroom area.
Then I clicked dig on a spot which was just under my farm(Two levels down) Soo I thought it was just left over water from  the floor above.. Turns out it was an Aquifer. And it flooded my bedroom area, killing many.


And another time I built a screw system bringing lava up from the near bottom.
Build the lava hold out of the wrong material. Fortress was flooded with lava :/
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lamphare on February 11, 2011, 02:18:46 pm
designated mine rather than upramps
cave-ins

reloaded to previous autosave
sigh
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shootandrun on February 11, 2011, 05:33:19 pm
Kol, captain of Deadgate's military, just killed another goblin. The adamantine clad legendary +5 dwarf walk toward the goblin bowman...

... And he dodges an arrow and fall into a 5 z-level high pit.
/Facepalm.

(He survived, but yea... After two seasons he is still in coma.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on February 11, 2011, 06:03:08 pm
Quote from: Shootandrun on February 11, 2011, 05:33:19 pm
Kol, captain of Deadgate's military, just killed another goblin. The adamantine clad legendary +5 dwarf walk toward the goblin bowman...

... And he dodges an arrow and fall into a 5 z-level high pit.
/Facepalm.

(He survived, but yea... After two seasons he is still in coma.)

That just makes him all the more epic. Ten years from this day he will awaken to the smell of blood and smoke, lift his cobweb-covered axe from the corner, and rush forth the hack down the invaders and go down in a blaze of glory.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: arzzult on February 11, 2011, 06:36:42 pm
Human diplomat walks onto map and instantly drops dead (possibly from old age but not 100% sure. There were no combat messages though.) Next summer, the humans siege me.

Face meet palm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: plisskin on February 11, 2011, 08:04:30 pm
Mass designating the channeling of a mountaintop to cleave the top off of it = many dead miners. Later I found out that you can mine out each layer and collapse the whole thing using supports.

Channeling out the square of a volcano wall, hoping it'll flood the room I've created to go beneath my forges. The main staircase of the fortress was unblocked. My fortress becomes a new extension of the volcano.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on February 12, 2011, 02:52:44 am
Went to found yet another fortress. All was going well and andy, until I realized that the aquifer noted in the embark screen actually didn't extend to this area, meaning some difficulty with earlier irrigation. Though it would be a stretch, and probably require a couple of years to fill a cistern, the nearby murky pools were enough to get some farms going, and things were looking good. Then a Sasquatch decided to make himself cozy in the cistern. It was a war of attrition, and he won.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pukako on February 12, 2011, 05:12:34 am
Built high walls.  Built an extension for a wall that I later dismantled, leaving a random floor tile blocked by a wall, about 4 z-levels up.  Removed the wall, set about removing the floor;  accidently built another wall blocking in the mason, but realised in enough time to set him to deconstruct it.

Then; goblin siege - mostly crossbows.  Although everyone else got into the burrow, Urist McHangingMason didn't, and instead became a crossbow piata.  So my best mason died hanging 4 levels over the outside of the fort.  That sucked.

However, it did lure the gobbos into the line of my magma tap, and Urist was commemorated with the BBQ of 8 goblins directly below him in a blaze of lava.  That melted 4 weapon traps, 3 cage traps, and the guard goat...

Note to self - when planning next magma weapon, pay attention to collateral damages...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: thegoatgod_pan on February 12, 2011, 01:56:46 pm
Mayor demands: "bonobo bone armor stand in dining room".  He is also a legendary speardwarf. I'm renaming him Mr. Kurtz
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bohandas on February 12, 2011, 02:28:45 pm
Quote from: thegoatgod_pan on February 12, 2011, 01:56:46 pm
Mayor demands: "bonobo bone armor stand in dining room".  He is also a legendary speardwarf. I'm renaming him Mr. Kurtz

After the 'Heart of Darkness'/'Apocalypse Now' character?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: strongrudder on February 12, 2011, 07:13:07 pm
I forgot to change the baby limit to a reasonable level.

My population cap is 120. My actual population currently sits at 164.

There are a total of 51 babies and children... *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: thegoatgod_pan on February 12, 2011, 09:37:01 pm
Yeah that Kurtz--it fits: we are in a jungle, and he became mayor after murdering several dwarves in a tantrum and becoming a warrior badass, flanked by war elephants and a war voracious cave crawler. The horror, the horror...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jingles on February 13, 2011, 10:22:24 am
Quote from: strongrudder on February 12, 2011, 07:13:07 pm
I forgot to change the baby limit to a reasonable level.

My population cap is 120. My actual population currently sits at 164.

There are a total of 51 babies and children... *facepalm*
Just abort them... and the parents too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on February 13, 2011, 10:45:53 am
Quote from: Jingles on February 13, 2011, 10:22:24 am
Quote from: strongrudder on February 12, 2011, 07:13:07 pm
I forgot to change the baby limit to a reasonable level.

My population cap is 120. My actual population currently sits at 164.

There are a total of 51 babies and children... *facepalm*
Just abort them... and the parents too.
(http://img.ie/1a0a0.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on February 13, 2011, 08:53:45 pm
So, I named one of my dorfs after me, gave him appropriate skills to be a proto-me, and sent him off with 6 non-nicknamed "servants". I had all intentions of setting this game up as though I were the overlord of this particular fortress. What's the first thing that happens? My beardy avatar decides to go fight a pack of marmots, dodges into a murky pool, and promptly drowns. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on February 13, 2011, 10:48:54 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on February 13, 2011, 08:53:45 pm
So, I named one of my dorfs after me, gave him appropriate skills to be a proto-me, and sent him off with 6 non-nicknamed "servants". I had all intentions of setting this game up as though I were the overlord of this particular fortress. What's the first thing that happens? My beardy avatar decides to go fight a pack of marmots, dodges into a murky pool, and promptly drowns. *facepalm*

That's what you get!

*snirk* ...Get it..?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nekudotayim on February 14, 2011, 07:15:55 am
I was building a channel full of water and a drawbridge at the first defense line. I had no soldiers yet, cause I did not yet know much about the squad system back then. Then winter came, the water froze. Then a horde of wolves came.  ::)

Luckily I had a draw bridge at my main entrance too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on February 14, 2011, 08:25:03 am
Quote from: Nekudotayim on February 14, 2011, 07:15:55 am
I was building a channel full of water and a drawbridge at the first defense line. I had no soldiers yet, cause I did not yet know much about the squad system back then. Then winter came, the water froze. Then a horde of wolves came.  ::)

Luckily I had a draw bridge at my main entrance too.
Never. EVER. Fill your moats.
Unless it's with corpses or magma. Those will do.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on February 14, 2011, 11:44:57 am
Quote from: Ibid Straydrink on February 13, 2011, 10:48:54 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on February 13, 2011, 08:53:45 pm
So, I named one of my dorfs after me, gave him appropriate skills to be a proto-me, and sent him off with 6 non-nicknamed "servants". I had all intentions of setting this game up as though I were the overlord of this particular fortress. What's the first thing that happens? My beardy avatar decides to go fight a pack of marmots, dodges into a murky pool, and promptly drowns. *facepalm*

That's what you get!

*snirk* ...Get it..?

The best part of all this? I cannot swim in real life.  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on February 14, 2011, 11:46:32 am
Quote from: MaximumZero on February 14, 2011, 11:44:57 am
Quote from: Ibid Straydrink on February 13, 2011, 10:48:54 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on February 13, 2011, 08:53:45 pm
So, I named one of my dorfs after me, gave him appropriate skills to be a proto-me, and sent him off with 6 non-nicknamed "servants". I had all intentions of setting this game up as though I were the overlord of this particular fortress. What's the first thing that happens? My beardy avatar decides to go fight a pack of marmots, dodges into a murky pool, and promptly drowns. *facepalm*

That's what you get!

*snirk* ...Get it..?

The best part of all this? I cannot swim in real life.  ::)

Ouch...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on February 14, 2011, 11:48:40 am
Quote from: Vorthon on February 14, 2011, 11:46:32 am
Quote from: MaximumZero on February 14, 2011, 11:44:57 am
Quote from: Ibid Straydrink on February 13, 2011, 10:48:54 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on February 13, 2011, 08:53:45 pm
So, I named one of my dorfs after me, gave him appropriate skills to be a proto-me, and sent him off with 6 non-nicknamed "servants". I had all intentions of setting this game up as though I were the overlord of this particular fortress. What's the first thing that happens? My beardy avatar decides to go fight a pack of marmots, dodges into a murky pool, and promptly drowns. *facepalm*

That's what you get!

*snirk* ...Get it..?

The best part of all this? I cannot swim in real life.  ::)

Ouch...
What he said.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serrational on February 14, 2011, 12:10:00 pm
Do you not see how ominous/portentous this is? If you see a marmot, pull out a fucking chaincrossbow man. It may save you..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on February 14, 2011, 12:11:10 pm
Quote from: Serrational on February 14, 2011, 12:10:00 pm
Do you not see how ominous/portentous this is? If you see a marmot, pull out a fucking chaincrossbow man. It may save you..

Damnit! Now I want a Chaincrossbow...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sirdrake on February 14, 2011, 06:20:26 pm
Quote
Channeling out the square of a volcano wall, hoping it'll flood the room I've created to go beneath my forges. The main staircase of the fortress was unblocked. My fortress becomes a new extension of the volcano.

I Got bored with my volcano fort and lets just say there was an "accidental" miss click on designate to mine
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lamphare on February 14, 2011, 07:40:12 pm
part of the risk that dwarves have to face, assumed, in many if not all fantasy dwarf exist, is 'accident'
that is to say, deep creatures, flooding of water or magma, structural failure due to various causes, invasion, or simply a tantrum spiral.

like mines of moria, or Khazad-dm gotten continuously attacked by orcs for hundreds of years thusly food access was partially cut off, laterly durin's bane, much like FB in DF, killed the dwarven king and drived many folks to flee and finally abandon the stronghold. though i supposed i didnot read anything about flood and cave-ins or any 'minor' incidents alike, there are always danger, and fun in underground construction.

so yeah in summary, i consider those bad things very dwarfy. and as i had, they should be treated as a history of the fort, and be dealt, whenever, wherever and however a bunch of dwarves can.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Duntada Man on February 15, 2011, 04:53:28 am
Not sure if this is facepalm or win.

I have a roast siting in the kitchen that is made from minced strawberry wine, finely minced swamp whiskey, finely minced dwarven ale, minced dwarven ale and dwarven rum.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serrational on February 15, 2011, 06:30:57 am
Urist McAlcoholic cancels Eat : Sudden liver failure
A unique occurence, my friend..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on February 15, 2011, 01:11:57 pm
I menaged to buy 2 entire caravans using only socks from dead dwarves. Next year: shoes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ascarona on February 15, 2011, 02:32:31 pm
Quote from: Serrational on February 15, 2011, 06:30:57 am
Urist McAlcoholic cancels Eat : Sudden liver failure
A unique occurence, my friend..
How is that even possible?  ???
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lamphare on February 15, 2011, 02:48:18 pm
Quote from: Ascarona on February 15, 2011, 02:32:31 pm
Quote from: Serrational on February 15, 2011, 06:30:57 am
Urist McAlcoholic cancels Eat : Sudden liver failure
A unique occurence, my friend..
How is that even possible?  ???
maintaining alcohol intake after disembowelment of 90% of liver?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dutchling on February 15, 2011, 03:51:17 pm
Quote from: Lamphare on February 15, 2011, 02:48:18 pm
Quote from: Ascarona on February 15, 2011, 02:32:31 pm
Quote from: Serrational on February 15, 2011, 06:30:57 am
Urist McAlcoholic cancels Eat : Sudden liver failure
A unique occurence, my friend..
How is that even possible?  ???
maintaining alcohol intake after disembowelment of 90% of liver?

But water causes Liver failure by dwarves, and everyone knows there is no water in beer (or any other liquid) in DF...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shootandrun on February 15, 2011, 09:06:31 pm
Earlier in this thread (p. 255) I talked about a dorf who falled down a pit and stayed in coma for a long time. He just waked up, after five years of coma. So, he walks to the booze stockpile...

And drops dead on the floor.

/Facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lamphare on February 15, 2011, 09:19:07 pm
Quote from: Shootandrun on February 15, 2011, 09:06:31 pm
Earlier in this thread (p. 255) I talked about a dorf who falled down a pit and stayed in coma for a long time. He just waked up, after five years of coma. So, he walks to the booze stockpile...

And drops dead on the floor.

/Facepalm.

that warns me to put food/booze supplies as well as dining table right to hospital.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serrational on February 16, 2011, 04:17:43 am
Sorta...conciousness shock?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wannazzaki on February 16, 2011, 09:43:30 am
Most recent one was an elk bird bone earring artefact. its final line was something along the lines of "an act of Dwarven stupidity is depicted in horse leather" or some such. the very selfsame dwarf promptly went to asnwer a call of nature (dropping prisoners into a pit of magma) and fell in himself. I couldnt help but inhale tea at this event.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on February 16, 2011, 09:45:26 am
Quote from: Wannazzaki on February 16, 2011, 09:43:30 am
Most recent one was an elk bird bone earring artefact. its final line was something along the lines of "an act of Dwarven stupidity is depicted in horse leather" or some such. the very selfsame dwarf promptly went to asnwer a call of nature (dropping prisoners into a pit of magma) and fell in himself. I couldnt help but inhale tea at this event.

Ouch. In two ways. (Inhaling tea must hurt alot.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wannazzaki on February 16, 2011, 10:23:47 am
Quote from: Vorthon on February 16, 2011, 09:45:26 am
Quote from: Wannazzaki on February 16, 2011, 09:43:30 am
Most recent one was an elk bird bone earring artefact. its final line was something along the lines of "an act of Dwarven stupidity is depicted in horse leather" or some such. the very selfsame dwarf promptly went to asnwer a call of nature (dropping prisoners into a pit of magma) and fell in himself. I couldnt help but inhale tea at this event.

Ouch. In two ways. (Inhaling tea must hurt alot.)

I do it surprisingly often. i suspect i have gained a partial immunity
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on February 16, 2011, 10:25:47 am
I just realized Dwarf Fortress version 0.31.19 went out about 3 minutes ago.
And I was downloading .18 for a friend... *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MarcAFK on February 16, 2011, 10:34:08 am
Quote from: TolyK on February 16, 2011, 10:25:47 am
I just realized Dwarf Fortress version 0.31.19 went out about 3 minutes ago.
And I was downloading .18 for a friend... *facepalm*
What are you on, no it hasn't?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ultimuh on February 16, 2011, 10:35:30 am
Quote from: MarcAFK on February 16, 2011, 10:34:08 am
Quote from: TolyK on February 16, 2011, 10:25:47 am
I just realized Dwarf Fortress version 0.31.19 went out about 3 minutes ago.
And I was downloading .18 for a friend... *facepalm*
What are you on, no it hasn't?

Oh yes it has.

Now I have to wait for genesis to update.  :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on February 16, 2011, 10:36:45 am
http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/ (http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/)

I'll have to update the LNP with lucas when some utils get updated...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MarcAFK on February 16, 2011, 10:43:02 am
odd, firefox isn't updating the homepage so i just see the post about scamps D=
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on February 16, 2011, 10:45:23 am
I have firefox ;)
press F5
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZeroSumHappiness on February 17, 2011, 10:12:14 am
Learning is fun.  Unicorns can swim.

"Why is that named unicorn not drowned?  Why is he running around my base again scaring everyone?"  *Checks raws*  "WTF."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GreatWyrmGold on February 17, 2011, 06:44:49 pm
Making a fort to visit in adventure mode...on an island.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shootandrun on February 17, 2011, 09:19:03 pm
What's the problem with making a visit fort on a island? Swimming is one of the easier skills to train, just start with adequate and go into some non-freezing water (the non-freezing part is important) and later, go to the fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MarcAFK on February 17, 2011, 09:23:25 pm
Build a bridge to it? .... if the mainland is within distance you can cross with a max embark size it should be possible...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lamphare on February 18, 2011, 02:19:25 am
now in 31.19
i was happily digging out the outer rim of my new fort, slowly, as i was planning to make my fort stand out in an 'island'

then i messed up with two aquifers at the same time. :(


it did become an island though. along with every bit of underground structure.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on February 18, 2011, 09:03:12 am
Quote from: Lamphare on February 18, 2011, 02:19:25 am
now in 31.19
i was happily digging out the outer rim of my new fort, slowly, as i was planning to make my fort stand out in an 'island'

then i messed up with two aquifers at the same time. :(


it did become an island though. along with every bit of underground structure.

Look at the bright side of things. You've recreated the Caribbean islands in DF. (They're riddled with flooded caves)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pukako on February 18, 2011, 09:46:28 pm
Dragonaxe had so many 'moments' that I'm sure the story belongs here.

Embark looked good - streams and volcano - a waterfall, probably.  Turns out to be flat plain with a river, which created own problems.

Constant harassment from Kobolds, who steal an artifact flute, creator of which throws himself into the volcano. Goblins however, all fall into same single trap in middle of plain.

Underground irrigation project accidently meets magma moat project, creating steam and an unremovable bridge across the moat, along with well supply issues.

No tin, iron or silver on map, so I'm reduced to using copper weapons or goblin lootings, which does not go so well. Animal trainer killed by caged foal.  Caverns entirely water, with a number of cave crocodiles, making them hazardous to copper clad militia, and the final straw was the mayor's first mandate - two pairs of cotton candy gloves.  Along with an incredible amount of migrants - 92 dwarves after less than two years.  Miners could hardly keep pace with room building, let alone look for minerals.

In the end, my designation for a noble's rooms accidently breached the magma pipe, and I got to see a fort get flooded with juicy lava at a reasonable FPS, rather than the normal 5-10 at the end of a large fort.  Educational.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bobhayes on February 19, 2011, 12:50:24 am
Started a fortress intending to experiment with just what it takes to conquer hell. 2x2 embark. Plenty of candy, though I didn't get to it. Nice fort. 160 dwarves, 60 in the army, most equipped with iron, bronze, or better. Two underground layers of tree farm, enclosed the map with a wall, 200+ cage traps to stop invasions cold so my boys can train up on captured goblins without the exploit of danger rooms. Mist-generator in the legendary dining hall. Massive magma furnace/smelter level to process goblinite. Legendary craftsdwarves, legendary masons, legendary mechanics, near-legendary armor and weaponsmiths (from migrations, no less). Humming food, clothing, leather, animal industries. Lowest happiness is borderline ecstatic.

Two critical errors.

1. Backup saves turned off, because I'm loading and unloading this fort throughout the day and constantly hunting for the latest save file is a pain. If something goes wrong I can always just kill the process and reload the last save; now that the fortress is strong and self-contained I won't need to go back a season.

2. One communal dormitory and one barracks. I don't need to worry about tantrum spirals; I'm not going to take any mass casualties, and lots of strong relationships make for lots of happy dwarves. I like my dwarves to be happy. And digging out bedrooms is such a pain, and there's no coal on this map so I've got a perpetual wood shortage even with friendly elves AND two tree-farm levels and I always need bins and barrels more than beds. Besides, I put doors on all the workshops, so I can isolate any crazed unfulfilled moods. It's not a problem.

Ambushes happen. They are effortlessly processed by my cage traps and my soldiers take joy in slaughter as they tear the naked goblins and trolls to bits.

A siege arrives. It is also absorbed effortlessly. This fortress is unkillable. (No flying goblins this time so we're secure behind our beautiful wall.)

A titan made of steam dares make an appearance. Ha! My skilled squads take him out with a single blow.

Another siege. I laugh at your crap sieges, Dwarf Fortress.

Another titan, this one made of salt. He is dispatched and our donkey meat roasts are made all the more savory. One soldier dies. Our first casualty. Two more soldiers somehow lose feet - I think they got wounded and the feet fell off, but I don't really know. They are ably cared for in the infirmary by our elite physicians. The fortress sails on, serene and happy.

A siege - a big one this time! And led by a goblin general. Quite impressive, several squads of trolls, goblin bowmen by the dozens, the map swarms with goblin figures. Tragically, two dwarves are outside recovering wood - a soldier and a bowyer, neither important. The soldier goes down fighting. The bowyer somehow manages to kill the leader of the pike squad before being torn to bits - apparently he was a semi-epic fighter and I missed him in my induction screening for the army. They mill confusedly around their fallen leader. The remainder of the siege streams mindlessly into the legion of cage traps as our dwarves laugh and drink inside. A few flee the edge of the map. The lone band of pikemen sits disconsolate on the southern map edge, unwilling to leave their dead leader but not yet having had enough punishment to flee the map.

Well, I've had this happen before and it causes no end of problems. I'm not having my delicate FPS lag because of bunch of idiot pikemen won't go home. Veteran squads a and b head out the gate and draw some pikemen away from the main body.

A few pikemen charge to engage. Wow, these guys are actually pretty tough. My squad leaders go down with injuries. The squad will not engage. Squads c and d come to reinforce - but spotting the pikemen, they charge in singly instead of waiting to mass. With melee spreading across the bottom of the map, the veterans finally give up consoling their squad leaders for their injured footsies and charge into battle. The pikemen are slaughtered. When it is over, seven of my brave soldiers have perished. A terrible battle - but one which we can recover from. Nine casualties out of 160 will not destroy morale. The season changes, and the save file is written.

Now, to recover...except...my God. Apparently those nine casualties were the most beloved dwarves in the history of dwarvenkind. EIGHTY dwarves are miserable or worse. Everyone, report to the waterfall room and statue garden for mandatory goodthoughts! It is not enough. One soldier driven mad by his experiences goes berserk and kills a child before his squadmates grimly bring him down. The child's parents, already bereaved by the death of their friends, go mad.

The murder cycle begins.

Ten dwarves have already filled our small, unintended-for-use burial chapel. The masons hastily carve more coffins. They fill up as the murders continue. Each murder triggers more death, more carnage, more insanity. Our population drops from 150 to 140. A butcher with four children does not have enough to live for; when his youngest becomes melancholy and jumps into the disposal chasm he berserks in turn and the whole family spirals into madness and death. Dwarf Therapist shows row upon row of unbroken red squares. A few oblivious dwarves soldier cheerfully on, ecstatic to the last. The population is 130. Now 125. Now 120. The mist generator is shattered by a tantruming engineer. Orders to repair it go unfilled. A mason with a fey mood, unnoticed in the storm of tantrum and punching messages, is driven mad and carves a swathe through the surviving children. The baron is struck down by an unknown hand and the Royal Mausoleum which had given him happy thoughts only a few weeks earlier becomes his final resting place. Leaderless, the dwarves elect a new mayor who serves only days before being killed in his turn. The population is below 100 now, nearly all miserable and tantruming.

A shining beacon of a fortress, a baronetcy, well on the road towards becoming the Mountainhome, is now a charnel house of broken cage traps, shattered tables, smashed screw pumps and toppled statues. Miasma fills the corridors as the bodies of children rot in the mud.

All hope is lost. The captured goblins, unspoiled and still caged in the storage area from lack of dwarven labor to strip them, mock and jeer from behind the stout wooden bars. Their own mockery will be the last thing they hear, as they starve and die in the abandoned halls of the fortress.

Thank you, heroic bowyer. Your astounding feat of goblin murder has killed your family, killed your friends. You killed them all.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Devling on February 19, 2011, 01:11:14 am
Quote from: bobhayes on February 19, 2011, 12:50:24 am
Started a fortress intending to experiment with just what it takes to conquer hell. 2x2 embark. Plenty of candy, though I didn't get to it. Nice fort. 160 dwarves, 60 in the army, most equipped with iron, bronze, or better. Two underground layers of tree farm, enclosed the map with a wall, 200+ cage traps to stop invasions cold so my boys can train up on captured goblins without the exploit of danger rooms. Mist-generator in the legendary dining hall. Massive magma furnace/smelter level to process goblinite. Legendary craftsdwarves, legendary masons, legendary mechanics, near-legendary armor and weaponsmiths (from migrations, no less). Humming food, clothing, leather, animal industries. Lowest happiness is borderline ecstatic.

Two critical errors.

1. Backup saves turned off, because I'm loading and unloading this fort throughout the day and constantly hunting for the latest save file is a pain. If something goes wrong I can always just kill the process and reload the last save; now that the fortress is strong and self-contained I won't need to go back a season.

2. One communal dormitory and one barracks. I don't need to worry about tantrum spirals; I'm not going to take any mass casualties, and lots of strong relationships make for lots of happy dwarves. I like my dwarves to be happy. And digging out bedrooms is such a pain, and there's no coal on this map so I've got a perpetual wood shortage even with friendly elves AND two tree-farm levels and I always need bins and barrels more than beds. Besides, I put doors on all the workshops, so I can isolate any crazed unfulfilled moods. It's not a problem.

Ambushes happen. They are effortlessly processed by my cage traps and my soldiers take joy in slaughter as they tear the naked goblins and trolls to bits.

A siege arrives. It is also absorbed effortlessly. This fortress is unkillable. (No flying goblins this time so we're secure behind our beautiful wall.)

A titan made of steam dares make an appearance. Ha! My skilled squads take him out with a single blow.

Another siege. I laugh at your crap sieges, Dwarf Fortress.

Another titan, this one made of salt. He is dispatched and our donkey meat roasts are made all the more savory. One soldier dies. Our first casualty. Two more soldiers somehow lose feet - I think they got wounded and the feet fell off, but I don't really know. They are ably cared for in the infirmary by our elite physicians. The fortress sails on, serene and happy.

A siege - a big one this time! And led by a goblin general. Quite impressive, several squads of trolls, goblin bowmen by the dozens, the map swarms with goblin figures. Tragically, two dwarves are outside recovering wood - a soldier and a bowyer, neither important. The soldier goes down fighting. The bowyer somehow manages to kill the leader of the pike squad before being torn to bits - apparently he was a semi-epic fighter and I missed him in my induction screening for the army. They mill confusedly around their fallen leader. The remainder of the siege streams mindlessly into the legion of cage traps as our dwarves laugh and drink inside. A few flee the edge of the map. The lone band of pikemen sits disconsolate on the southern map edge, unwilling to leave their dead leader but not yet having had enough punishment to flee the map.

Well, I've had this happen before and it causes no end of problems. I'm not having my delicate FPS lag because of bunch of idiot pikemen won't go home. Veteran squads a and b head out the gate and draw some pikemen away from the main body.

A few pikemen charge to engage. Wow, these guys are actually pretty tough. My squad leaders go down with injuries. The squad will not engage. Squads c and d come to reinforce - but spotting the pikemen, they charge in singly instead of waiting to mass. With melee spreading across the bottom of the map, the veterans finally give up consoling their squad leaders for their injured footsies and charge into battle. The pikemen are slaughtered. When it is over, seven of my brave soldiers have perished. A terrible battle - but one which we can recover from. Nine casualties out of 160 will not destroy morale. The season changes, and the save file is written.

Now, to recover...except...my God. Apparently those nine casualties were the most beloved dwarves in the history of dwarvenkind. EIGHTY dwarves are miserable or worse. Everyone, report to the waterfall room and statue garden for mandatory goodthoughts! It is not enough. One soldier driven mad by his experiences goes berserk and kills a child before his squadmates grimly bring him down. The child's parents, already bereaved by the death of their friends, go mad.

The murder cycle begins.

Ten dwarves have already filled our small, unintended-for-use burial chapel. The masons hastily carve more coffins. They fill up as the murders continue. Each murder triggers more death, more carnage, more insanity. Our population drops from 150 to 140. A butcher with four children does not have enough to live for; when his youngest becomes melancholy and jumps into the disposal chasm he berserks in turn and the whole family spirals into madness and death. Dwarf Therapist shows row upon row of unbroken red squares. A few oblivious dwarves soldier cheerfully on, ecstatic to the last. The population is 130. Now 125. Now 120. The mist generator is shattered by a tantruming engineer. Orders to repair it go unfilled. A mason with a fey mood, unnoticed in the storm of tantrum and punching messages, is driven mad and carves a swathe through the surviving children. The baron is struck down by an unknown hand and the Royal Mausoleum which had given him happy thoughts only a few weeks earlier becomes his final resting place. Leaderless, the dwarves elect a new mayor who serves only days before being killed in his turn. The population is below 100 now, nearly all miserable and tantruming.

A shining beacon of a fortress, a baronetcy, well on the road towards becoming the Mountainhome, is now a charnel house of broken cage traps, shattered tables, smashed screw pumps and toppled statues. Miasma fills the corridors as the bodies of children rot in the mud.

All hope is lost. The captured goblins, unspoiled and still caged in the storage area from lack of dwarven labor to strip them, mock and jeer from behind the stout wooden bars. Their own mockery will be the last thing they hear, as they starve and die in the abandoned halls of the fortress.

Thank you, heroic bowyer. Your astounding feat of goblin murder has killed your family, killed your friends. You killed them all.
Oh, my, dear, ARMOK!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xeivous on February 19, 2011, 01:13:26 am
Quote from: bobhayes on February 19, 2011, 12:50:24 am
Started a fortress intending to experiment with just what it takes to conquer hell. 2x2 embark. Plenty of candy, though I didn't get to it. Nice fort. 160 dwarves, 60 in the army, most equipped with iron, bronze, or better. Two underground layers of tree farm, enclosed the map with a wall, 200+ cage traps to stop invasions cold so my boys can train up on captured goblins without the exploit of danger rooms. Mist-generator in the legendary dining hall. Massive magma furnace/smelter level to process goblinite. Legendary craftsdwarves, legendary masons, legendary mechanics, near-legendary armor and weaponsmiths (from migrations, no less). Humming food, clothing, leather, animal industries. Lowest happiness is borderline ecstatic.

Two critical errors.

1. Backup saves turned off, because I'm loading and unloading this fort throughout the day and constantly hunting for the latest save file is a pain. If something goes wrong I can always just kill the process and reload the last save; now that the fortress is strong and self-contained I won't need to go back a season.

2. One communal dormitory and one barracks. I don't need to worry about tantrum spirals; I'm not going to take any mass casualties, and lots of strong relationships make for lots of happy dwarves. I like my dwarves to be happy. And digging out bedrooms is such a pain, and there's no coal on this map so I've got a perpetual wood shortage even with friendly elves AND two tree-farm levels and I always need bins and barrels more than beds. Besides, I put doors on all the workshops, so I can isolate any crazed unfulfilled moods. It's not a problem.

Ambushes happen. They are effortlessly processed by my cage traps and my soldiers take joy in slaughter as they tear the naked goblins and trolls to bits.

A siege arrives. It is also absorbed effortlessly. This fortress is unkillable. (No flying goblins this time so we're secure behind our beautiful wall.)

A titan made of steam dares make an appearance. Ha! My skilled squads take him out with a single blow.

Another siege. I laugh at your crap sieges, Dwarf Fortress.

Another titan, this one made of salt. He is dispatched and our donkey meat roasts are made all the more savory. One soldier dies. Our first casualty. Two more soldiers somehow lose feet - I think they got wounded and the feet fell off, but I don't really know. They are ably cared for in the infirmary by our elite physicians. The fortress sails on, serene and happy.

A siege - a big one this time! And led by a goblin general. Quite impressive, several squads of trolls, goblin bowmen by the dozens, the map swarms with goblin figures. Tragically, two dwarves are outside recovering wood - a soldier and a bowyer, neither important. The soldier goes down fighting. The bowyer somehow manages to kill the leader of the pike squad before being torn to bits - apparently he was a semi-epic fighter and I missed him in my induction screening for the army. They mill confusedly around their fallen leader. The remainder of the siege streams mindlessly into the legion of cage traps as our dwarves laugh and drink inside. A few flee the edge of the map. The lone band of pikemen sits disconsolate on the southern map edge, unwilling to leave their dead leader but not yet having had enough punishment to flee the map.

Well, I've had this happen before and it causes no end of problems. I'm not having my delicate FPS lag because of bunch of idiot pikemen won't go home. Veteran squads a and b head out the gate and draw some pikemen away from the main body.

A few pikemen charge to engage. Wow, these guys are actually pretty tough. My squad leaders go down with injuries. The squad will not engage. Squads c and d come to reinforce - but spotting the pikemen, they charge in singly instead of waiting to mass. With melee spreading across the bottom of the map, the veterans finally give up consoling their squad leaders for their injured footsies and charge into battle. The pikemen are slaughtered. When it is over, seven of my brave soldiers have perished. A terrible battle - but one which we can recover from. Nine casualties out of 160 will not destroy morale. The season changes, and the save file is written.

Now, to recover...except...my God. Apparently those nine casualties were the most beloved dwarves in the history of dwarvenkind. EIGHTY dwarves are miserable or worse. Everyone, report to the waterfall room and statue garden for mandatory goodthoughts! It is not enough. One soldier driven mad by his experiences goes berserk and kills a child before his squadmates grimly bring him down. The child's parents, already bereaved by the death of their friends, go mad.

The murder cycle begins.

Ten dwarves have already filled our small, unintended-for-use burial chapel. The masons hastily carve more coffins. They fill up as the murders continue. Each murder triggers more death, more carnage, more insanity. Our population drops from 150 to 140. A butcher with four children does not have enough to live for; when his youngest becomes melancholy and jumps into the disposal chasm he berserks in turn and the whole family spirals into madness and death. Dwarf Therapist shows row upon row of unbroken red squares. A few oblivious dwarves soldier cheerfully on, ecstatic to the last. The population is 130. Now 125. Now 120. The mist generator is shattered by a tantruming engineer. Orders to repair it go unfilled. A mason with a fey mood, unnoticed in the storm of tantrum and punching messages, is driven mad and carves a swathe through the surviving children. The baron is struck down by an unknown hand and the Royal Mausoleum which had given him happy thoughts only a few weeks earlier becomes his final resting place. Leaderless, the dwarves elect a new mayor who serves only days before being killed in his turn. The population is below 100 now, nearly all miserable and tantruming.

A shining beacon of a fortress, a baronetcy, well on the road towards becoming the Mountainhome, is now a charnel house of broken cage traps, shattered tables, smashed screw pumps and toppled statues. Miasma fills the corridors as the bodies of children rot in the mud.

All hope is lost. The captured goblins, unspoiled and still caged in the storage area from lack of dwarven labor to strip them, mock and jeer from behind the stout wooden bars. Their own mockery will be the last thing they hear, as they starve and die in the abandoned halls of the fortress.

Thank you, heroic bowyer. Your astounding feat of goblin murder has killed your family, killed your friends. You killed them all.
Welcome to dwarf fortress, enjoy your stay.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on February 19, 2011, 05:27:04 am
I think that you should separate happy ones. Now it is too late.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on February 19, 2011, 05:49:55 am
This is the wisdom of the designating a billion different meeting areas.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bobhayes on February 19, 2011, 12:13:18 pm
Quote from: Kogut on February 19, 2011, 05:27:04 am
I think that you should separate happy ones. Now it is too late.

Yes. Having done some more reading, if it happens again I will draft every unhappy person into a set of squads, station them in a food storehouse, and locked the doors. Maybe some of them will pull out of it, the rest will die, and after the dust and miasma settles, the happy people will go in and clean up the bodies.

Next time!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on February 19, 2011, 01:25:01 pm
Don't need to do drafting, just use burrows.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McBusDriver on February 19, 2011, 02:46:51 pm
1) Be careful when building an inverted-pyramid reservoir for a well. Designating the channels for the job is non-trivial.
2) If your fortress's only miner suffers an unfortunate accident, there are better choices for a replacement than the fortress doctor.
3) If your fortress's only doctor suffers an unfortunate accident, happily, ordinary dwarves can be drafted in as Chief Medic and effect suitable repairs in the hospital.
4) Hospital operations require a lot of wood.
5) 'Sparse' woodland in the Embark screen means you're going to an area which has all the salt, sand and snow you could ask for, but plant life bigger than a shrub.

(Right now, my fort consists of several 'temporary' rooms cut into the sand, including the abovementioned well, and the beginnings of the fortress entranceway, cut into rock. Right now, the entranceway is serving as a temporary hospital. Urist McPeasant seems to have set Urist McFlyingDoctor's legs without the aid of plaster (unless I'd embarked with some without noticing) and he's happily stomping around with enough wood to build two beds sewn onto his upper legs. Urist McMiner has a basic tomb just off a corridor - might move it if that's possible. I'm thinking that, without wood, I'm going to have to get to the magma to get much of the industry going...)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shook on February 19, 2011, 06:45:36 pm
Just had my first fun with cave ins and a river.

1) Wanted to do a skylight above my dining room. A section of the roof collapsed due to poor planning, and killed two dorfs. This subsequently sent my fortress into a tantrum spiral. All due to poor planning...

2) Made a channel from a river into a room below my sub-terrain fortress. Needless to say, it flooded. I felt a bit dumb when i realized that i hadn't thought of a way to STOP the water again. So i improvised, tried collapsing a floor on top of the channel, which killed one of my seven dorfs. Third facepalm there.

Just the usual.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xvareon on February 20, 2011, 12:38:23 am
Digging my main Up/down stairwell into a cavern, forgetting to seal it off, then a Forgotten Beast stands underneath it, causing a flood of job cancellation messages as they try to approach the stairwell then immediately run when they see him below.  This caused the entire fort to starve and forced me to reclaim (with a small army at my back).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MonkeyHead on February 20, 2011, 06:31:14 am
allowing socks and gloves as part of my steel uniform. stupid dorfs and overseer not quite getting layering resulting in soldiers with less than the optimal number of steel boots or gauntlets on. result = lots of cripples in the food and booze denial ward waiting for disposal.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joshua IX on February 20, 2011, 09:42:06 am
My artificial river swept a a chunk of grabbo down a 10 z-level verticle drop, landing it on my only carpenter >.<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on February 20, 2011, 09:44:29 am
Quote from: Joshua IX on February 20, 2011, 09:42:06 am
My artificial river swept a a chunk of grabbo down a 10 z-level verticle drop, landing it on my only carpenter >.<
falling objects don't currently do damage. nothing happened to him (or at least, not due to the rock...)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joshua IX on February 20, 2011, 11:15:06 am
It said something about him 'colliding with an object' so I assumed it was that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on February 20, 2011, 11:16:59 am
That's him falling off your waterfall  ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joshua IX on February 20, 2011, 11:18:29 am
o.O

Even more of a facepalm!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edosurist on February 20, 2011, 08:46:26 pm
I set up an infimous tree-hugger killing system, in which I could flood the trade depot, giving me all the spoils for free... with the only cost of waging war with the elves. But that is besides the point. I forgot to close the main entrance, so all the water went out into my fortress, sweeping four dwarves of a bridge and into a river. <facepalm> Not to mention, in the making of the system, I trapped a farmer behind a floodgate, but didn't realize it. I went to try and solve this problem by opening up the exit waterflow gate into the river (the one where the farmer was) and HE got swept into the river.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rude on February 20, 2011, 11:01:23 pm
UristMcUberLeetMarxDwarf has been scared to death by the ghostly UristMcNoNamePeasantAxeDwarf.

In the middle of a 3 Squad Gob ambush. That he was owning from his *Marble Sniper Tower*.

7 tombs were build and ready to accept corpses, but not 'q'ed to accept corpses.
 =Facepalm=
Half a Gobo Squad later, UristMcOMGUStupidGhost has been put to rest.

Update: Rest of dwarf Marksmen waste bolts. Small melee militia got creamed by hidden hammer gobos. Now I have 5 trainees in the hostpital for a military and a few useless Marksmen. Not a good doctor either.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: proxn_punkd on February 21, 2011, 02:49:44 pm
Got excited about .19, installed it on my new compy, genned a world, started a fort, and captured a hive of honey bees before I went to bed.

That night, I dreamed my new fort got besieged by trolls within the first year.

The next day, I checked the forums and discovered that having a beehive causes your fort's value to skyrocket, causing it to get ambushed and besieged sooner.

That was oddly prophetic, wasn't it?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KillerClowns on February 21, 2011, 03:16:14 pm
Set up some cage traps to catch any birds trying to steal my nesting boxes.  Worked great for a while, caught me a lot of wild turkeys to domesticate.

But it turns out most other birds can fly.  Whoops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beardless on February 21, 2011, 07:39:44 pm
Quote from: proxn_punkd on February 21, 2011, 02:49:44 pm
Got excited about .19, installed it on my new compy, genned a world, started a fort, and captured a hive of honey bees before I went to bed.

That night, I dreamed my new fort got besieged by trolls within the first year.

The next day, I checked the forums and discovered that having a beehive causes your fort's value to skyrocket, causing it to get ambushed and besieged sooner.

That was oddly prophetic, wasn't it?

Either that, or you play in your sleep. Let us know if you notice your forts being more developed/flooded/on fire/etc. when you wake up in the morning.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ria Hawk on February 22, 2011, 03:05:19 am
On this particular fort, I was slow about getting farm production set up, due to a lack of ponds for irrigation. I had a river right through the middle of the map, but I couldn't figure out how to drain off the water once I'd flooded the farms. I was low on food, but I ran out of booze first. 'Well, carp,' I thought. 'That's going to make this fort interesting.' Since I couldn't get the farms up any faster and the first trade caravan wasn't due for another season, I figured I'd designate a drinking zone on the river. Dorfs don't like drinking water, but it was better than nothing. So I do it, and go back to trying to work out the farms.

Then I get spammed with 'Urist McDorf cancels drink: water contaminated.' There had been a little tiff with some monkeys, and I thought some of the monkey blood had gotten into the river or something. So I just moved the zone upstream. (I had a water fall on the south end of the map, which was how I knew.)

Still getting the contamination messages. Puzzled, I search the entire length of the river on the surface, but can find nothing. So I go down to the next z-level.

I found the problem. My resident Vermin Control Officer (the carpenter's cat) had killed a lungfish. And dropped the corpse into the second level of the river, right at the northernmost tile.

Thereby contaminating the whole river.

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on February 22, 2011, 04:04:27 am
Quote from: Ria Hawk on February 22, 2011, 03:05:19 am
On this particular fort, I was slow about getting farm production set up, due to a lack of ponds for irrigation. I had a river right through the middle of the map, but I couldn't figure out how to drain off the water once I'd flooded the farms. I was low on food, but I ran out of booze first. 'Well, carp,' I thought. 'That's going to make this fort interesting.' Since I couldn't get the farms up any faster and the first trade caravan wasn't due for another season, I figured I'd designate a drinking zone on the river. Dorfs don't like drinking water, but it was better than nothing. So I do it, and go back to trying to work out the farms.

Then I get spammed with 'Urist McDorf cancels drink: water contaminated.' There had been a little tiff with some monkeys, and I thought some of the monkey blood had gotten into the river or something. So I just moved the zone upstream. (I had a water fall on the south end of the map, which was how I knew.)

Still getting the contamination messages. Puzzled, I search the entire length of the river on the surface, but can find nothing. So I go down to the next z-level.

I found the problem. My resident Vermin Control Officer (the carpenter's cat) had killed a lungfish. And dropped the corpse into the second level of the river, right at the northernmost tile.

Thereby contaminating the whole river.

*facepalm*

Yeah, that's usually the part where I say "Toady, stop cheating" and use DF Hack.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lamphare on February 22, 2011, 04:47:38 am
reading through world status with legends viewer
and saw:
Quote
The Hollow Confederation is a civlization of dusk elves
(skip bunch of crap)Populations

1188 Sylvan Elves
66 Demons
2539 Dwarves
57 Nords
343 Keepers
180 Snakemen
92 Ezrakim Elves
5430 Dusk Elves
108 Orcs
15966 Cats
1104 Dogs
40 Cows


seriously! cats!i never want to fight the elves again!*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: foop on February 22, 2011, 11:25:58 am
My first 31.19 embark.  I was quite smug about finding a site with clay, shallow metals, and deep metals with no aquifer.

What I didn't notice was that the embarkation wagon was parked on top of a frozen pond.  Come the middle of spring, most of my supplies and some of my dorfs are underwater.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on February 22, 2011, 02:16:20 pm
Quote from: Ria Hawk on February 22, 2011, 03:05:19 am
On this particular fort, I was slow about getting farm production set up, due to a lack of ponds for irrigation. I had a river right through the middle of the map, but I couldn't figure out how to drain off the water once I'd flooded the farms. I was low on food, but I ran out of booze first. 'Well, carp,' I thought. 'That's going to make this fort interesting.' Since I couldn't get the farms up any faster and the first trade caravan wasn't due for another season, I figured I'd designate a drinking zone on the river. Dorfs don't like drinking water, but it was better than nothing. So I do it, and go back to trying to work out the farms.

Then I get spammed with 'Urist McDorf cancels drink: water contaminated.' There had been a little tiff with some monkeys, and I thought some of the monkey blood had gotten into the river or something. So I just moved the zone upstream. (I had a water fall on the south end of the map, which was how I knew.)

Still getting the contamination messages. Puzzled, I search the entire length of the river on the surface, but can find nothing. So I go down to the next z-level.

I found the problem. My resident Vermin Control Officer (the carpenter's cat) had killed a lungfish. And dropped the corpse into the second level of the river, right at the northernmost tile.

Thereby contaminating the whole river.

*facepalm*
What version?
Because underground soil no longer needs irrigation in .19.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McBusDriver on February 22, 2011, 07:58:29 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on February 22, 2011, 02:16:20 pm
Quote from: Ria Hawk on February 22, 2011, 03:05:19 am
On this particular fort, I was slow about getting farm production set up, due to a lack of ponds for irrigation. I had a river right through the middle of the map, but I couldn't figure out how to drain off the water once I'd flooded the farms. I was low on food, but I ran out of booze first. 'Well, carp,' I thought. 'That's going to make this fort interesting.' Since I couldn't get the farms up any faster and the first trade caravan wasn't due for another season, I figured I'd designate a drinking zone on the river. Dorfs don't like drinking water, but it was better than nothing. So I do it, and go back to trying to work out the farms. (snip)
What version?
Because underground soil no longer needs irrigation in .19.
I'm still using the old method for flooding farmland, but to make underground tree farms after I breach the first cavern. Underground trees will still only grow on muddy rock.

(The method being, dig out your farm area, dig out a cistern slightly more than 1/6th of the size next to it, dig a passage from the cistern to the river, install lever-controlled floodgates at the boundaries of those three things. Then fill the cistern, close the floodgate on the passage that lets water into the cistern, open the floodgates between the cistern and the farm, and you get 1/7th water over the whole area. Then, eventually and after you've breached the caverns, underground trees! Never go outside again.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pukako on February 22, 2011, 10:33:54 pm
F%&^$!!!

Beautiful little fort, slow, relaxed, fun (in an unusual way for DF) - Goldpool.  Decided to create a well by digging out a wall between the fort and the river at stream level, then pumping it into a cistern.

Found a great spot, but issues with the cistern, so looked around, and found one, a level down, not realising the issue.  So I managed to flood my fortress in a way I couldn't stop just as steel was starting to come on line.

Started again, but something wrong with world - next fort was between 30 and 80 FPS at embark, without flowing water or magma...

Next three attempts crashed before embarking...

Genned new world, good site - in my attempts to flood a farm level from the river, via pump, drowned my farmer/brewer and woodworker in two separate attempts.

Not a good day for water...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ria Hawk on February 22, 2011, 10:56:01 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on February 22, 2011, 02:16:20 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
What version?
Because underground soil no longer needs irrigation in .19.

It was .18. This was before .19 released, and in any case, I still haven't upgraded. But not needing to irrigate soil anymore sounds promising...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Terrahex on February 23, 2011, 01:25:09 am
Quote from: Ria Hawk on February 22, 2011, 10:56:01 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on February 22, 2011, 02:16:20 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
What version?
Because underground soil no longer needs irrigation in .19.

It was .18. This was before .19 released, and in any case, I still haven't upgraded. But not needing to irrigate soil anymore sounds promising...
indeed
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rushmik on February 23, 2011, 02:03:34 am
I recently abandoned a fortress cursed by cave-ins (certainly wasn't any fault of mine at all, ever.) I was pleased to note another miner reaching legendary status. A minute later he causes a cave in on the dining room, killing himself, a cat and injuring a few others.

Now, my forts are very vertical in nature and I'm a big fan of having a giant stairwell in the center. I figured I'd put a neat tower on top of it. Long story short, the construction went amiss at some point and a wall plummeted through ten or so z-levels of high-traffic stairway. I lost a legendary engraver, several more cats and it broke both legs of my other legendary miner.

I lol'd.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kian on February 23, 2011, 01:11:25 pm
So after a few mishaps with irrigation (sometimes too much water, sometimes not enough) I decided to install a floodgate in the murky pool that would put mud on my fields. I then noticed that the murky pool was one square away from a river, and figured "Hey! I can make a bigger room if I install another floodgate in the river!" Surprisingly, despite this being one of my first forts (I tend to abandon after a couple of years when I'm dissatisfied with the layout, rather than anything going terribly wrong. Still learning the ropes, so I figure they don't count), I didn't mess up that too badly. I had the forethought to put a door in the entrance to the rest of the fort, forbade the door and made sure it was pet proof. And I made sure there were no dwarfs in the room.

So I had the future farming area nice and wet. Only I let in a little more water than I meant to, and had 3/4 water in about four 11x11 rooms. Oops. I just had to wait for it to drain, right? No big deal. I closed both floodgates and everything was fine.

Then a few seasons pass, and the water doesn't seem to be draining. I'm a little concerned, but I the caravan came and I wasn't worried for food or booze. Winter comes, and the murky pool freezes over. I suddenly have the great idea to drain the pool, by carrying out the ice, and opening the floodgate so my farm would drain into the murky pool, freeze, and I'd carry it out.

So I start channeling the ice from above (after I notice that mining it from below didn't work and I didn't want to open the floodgate). Immediately my miners get to work and I receive the message "Urist McLegendaryMiner has been encased in ice!"

What?!

I still don't know how that happened. The rest of the dwarfs kept on mining the ice happily. All the water was ice. I don't know how he managed to freeze himself in ice, since the wiki said that happened if they were in water as it froze. Die and learn, I guess. The fortress was really coming together, too. Save for the farm.

I started another one shortly after. Such a pointless death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dutchling on February 23, 2011, 01:37:37 pm
I wanted to build an aboveground fortress but my stupid dorfs didn't want to build my down staircase on top ofthe up staircase. So I decided they would het one more chance before i would kill them all, ofc they didnt'do it anyway and I build a small hole underground and removed the existing burrow that limited them to the area around the meeting zone and let them all drown.

*facepalm* I only realized later the the burrow casues this :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scaraban on February 23, 2011, 03:49:11 pm
the encased in ice is because he was standing on the outside/inside border when the water came across and instantly froze him
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lamphare on February 23, 2011, 03:59:37 pm
my newly captured, tamed and trained war elephants got so hungry and then angry so one of them decided to rip my expedition leader's head off.

somehow no matter how much grass i have in the pasture, they just stay hungry... then starving...then stacking in one tile all together. and the poor dwarf went on break with the elephants...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on February 23, 2011, 06:51:17 pm
Quote from: Lamphare on February 23, 2011, 03:59:37 pm
my newly captured, tamed and trained war elephants got so hungry and then angry so one of them decided to rip my expedition leader's head off.

somehow no matter how much grass i have in the pasture, they just stay hungry... then starving...then stacking in one tile all together. and the poor dwarf went on break with the elephants...

Pastures sound crappy. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ggamer on February 23, 2011, 07:19:55 pm
My miner was taking a nap in the barracks. All of a sudden, I get two announcments compressed into one.
THIEF! Protect the horde from the skulking filth.
Urist McLegendary Miner Has been struck down.

The kobold... slashed him in the head with a copper dagger... and TOOK IT'S FUCKING HEAD OFF.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on February 23, 2011, 08:33:42 pm
I'm playing in a really hot swamp with deep soil.
Do you want to know what happens when you pasture animals in a hot climate? Everything they touch turns to sand.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lamphare on February 24, 2011, 01:48:32 am
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on February 23, 2011, 08:33:42 pm
I'm playing in a really hot swamp with deep soil.
Do you want to know what happens when you pasture animals in a hot climate? Everything they touch turns to sand.
i supposed that's because the top soil layer of your embark site is sand.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Subdane on February 24, 2011, 03:21:29 am
I bulid walls around my fortress, a big moat and a bridge, filled it with water. Then came winter..... The water/moat froze, and the attackers just walked right over the ice   :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zwei on February 24, 2011, 04:09:49 am
Quote from: Subdane on February 24, 2011, 03:21:29 am
I bulid walls around my fortress, a big moat and a bridge, filled it with water. Then came winter..... The water/moat froze, and the attackers just walked right over the ice   :o

Next time, build three moats: Dry, Water and Magma. Water one being optional. And well as dry one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xeivous on February 24, 2011, 11:14:51 am
Quote from: zwei on February 24, 2011, 04:09:49 am
Quote from: Subdane on February 24, 2011, 03:21:29 am
I bulid walls around my fortress, a big moat and a bridge, filled it with water. Then came winter..... The water/moat froze, and the attackers just walked right over the ice   :o

Next time, build three moats: Dry, Water and Magma. Water one being optional. And well as dry one.
The magma one should cover everything your fort isn't on.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on February 24, 2011, 11:18:46 am
Tried to make an obsidian farm. Forgot that marble wasn't magma-proof. I now have a magma pool with a leak. *facepalm* indeed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scaraban on February 24, 2011, 11:49:37 am
Quote from: Vorthon on February 24, 2011, 11:18:46 am
Tried to make an obsidian farm. Forgot that marble wasn't magma-proof. I now have a magma pool with a leak. *facepalm* indeed.
the floodgates or what because constructions are invulnerable
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on February 24, 2011, 11:51:15 am
Quote from: Scaraban on February 24, 2011, 11:49:37 am
Quote from: Vorthon on February 24, 2011, 11:18:46 am
Tried to make an obsidian farm. Forgot that marble wasn't magma-proof. I now have a magma pool with a leak. *facepalm* indeed.
the floodgates or what because constructions are invulnerable

I used doors. I've been playing since 40d. I know this stuff. I just had a brain fart. I blame the head injuiry I suffered recently.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scaraban on February 24, 2011, 12:10:46 pm
Quote from: Vorthon on February 24, 2011, 11:51:15 am
Quote from: Scaraban on February 24, 2011, 11:49:37 am
Quote from: Vorthon on February 24, 2011, 11:18:46 am
Tried to make an obsidian farm. Forgot that marble wasn't magma-proof. I now have a magma pool with a leak. *facepalm* indeed.
the floodgates or what because constructions are invulnerable

I used doors. I've been playing since 40d. I know this stuff. I just had a brain fart. I blame the head injuiry I suffered recently.
;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on February 24, 2011, 08:02:00 pm
So, a forgotten beast slaughtered half the fortress. Unbelievably, I managed to get every singe dwarf inside and lock the door, with the forgotten beast outside (I will somebody remember that forgotten beasts can break down doors, but that's a story for another day). So the forgotten beast wanders about the feilds full of corpses and, unbelievably, decides to kick back and hang around the underground graveyard. Inspiration strikes and I designate the construction of a floor over the entrance, hopefully sealing the beast in. I delete the burrow over the fortress, unlock the doors, and let my mason go to work. Amongst the flood of dwarves running out with him... to carry the corpses to the graves... that the forgotten beast was standing on top of.

Yeah, my fortress died.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on February 24, 2011, 11:02:39 pm
Quote from: Scaraban on February 24, 2011, 12:10:46 pm
Quote from: Vorthon on February 24, 2011, 11:51:15 am
Quote from: Scaraban on February 24, 2011, 11:49:37 am
Quote from: Vorthon on February 24, 2011, 11:18:46 am
Tried to make an obsidian farm. Forgot that marble wasn't magma-proof. I now have a magma pool with a leak. *facepalm* indeed.
the floodgates or what because constructions are invulnerable

I used doors. I've been playing since 40d. I know this stuff. I just had a brain fart. I blame the head injuiry I suffered recently.
;)
Yeah, face palming can be hazardous.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kyle902 on February 25, 2011, 01:00:46 am
My newest world has a deity of suicide....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: proxn_punkd on February 25, 2011, 11:27:55 am
Quote from: Beardless on February 21, 2011, 07:39:44 pm
Quote from: proxn_punkd on February 21, 2011, 02:49:44 pm
Got excited about .19, installed it on my new compy, genned a world, started a fort, and captured a hive of honey bees before I went to bed.

That night, I dreamed my new fort got besieged by trolls within the first year.

The next day, I checked the forums and discovered that having a beehive causes your fort's value to skyrocket, causing it to get ambushed and besieged sooner.

That was oddly prophetic, wasn't it?

Either that, or you play in your sleep. Let us know if you notice your forts being more developed/flooded/on fire/etc. when you wake up in the morning.

I want the graphics pack my dreams use, then.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lamphare on February 25, 2011, 02:02:35 pm
with dfreveal, i found forest spider silk webs in hell....forest spider is a creature not vermin.
how did it get there?
*facepalm*

and there is a 40-z-level big demonic fortress. what have i done with world gen parameter....
*double facepalm*

alright.... unreveal.... (accidental space bar press)
*triple facepalm*

i so got back from HFS notification and....my wagon happen to be just next to a river, with three alligators swimming towards my dwarves...eventually tearing half of them down....
*quadruple famepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eradacater on February 25, 2011, 02:48:59 pm
Quote from: Vorthon on February 24, 2011, 11:51:15 am
Quote from: Scaraban on February 24, 2011, 11:49:37 am
Quote from: Vorthon on February 24, 2011, 11:18:46 am
Tried to make an obsidian farm. Forgot that marble wasn't magma-proof. I now have a magma pool with a leak. *facepalm* indeed.
the floodgates or what because constructions are invulnerable

I used doors. I've been playing since 40d. I know this stuff. I just had a brain fart. I blame the head injuiry I suffered recently.

You got to watch those cave ins man
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pojodan on February 25, 2011, 04:49:46 pm
Had one dwarf be the recipient of 3 face-palms over the course of a couple years.

1st facepalm:  Started my fort without any gem cutting/setting skills in my initial 7, hoping to luck out with immigrants.  By the time I was up to 35 dwarves I'd not gotten one, but I did have a rapidly growing stockpile of rough gems and a growing need for trade money.  So, after getting 6 more fisherman/mechanics/utterly-utterly-useless dwarves, I decided I'd just grow a Jeweler from scratch.  I found a dwarf that had absolutely no skill, but liked a couple different kinds of gems, and set him cutting.   Fast forward a few seasons, and guess what I get in an immigrant wave?  That's right, a High Master Gem Cutter!  *facepalm*

2nd facepalm:  Okay, so I have a good cutter, but no setter.  Still not a single point of experience in any of my other dwarves, so I took Urist McGemForBrains and set him sorting through the heaps of crappy cut, low value gems to start poorly setting them into the even crappier stone crafts my 3 Legendary Stonecrafters had been spitting out before fey moods had boosted their skills (grumble grumble artifact stone trumpet.. grumble grumble artifact stone earring.. grumble grumble).   3 seasons later, Urist McMasterGemSetter shows up.  *facepalm*

3rd facepalm:  So, since Urist McGemForBrains had run out his usefulness after wasting the majority of my fortress' gem stock on practise, I punished him by setting him to haul gems by activating Item Hauling and nothing else.  I'm cruel, yes, but at least my good Jewelers would never need to leave their post till my fortress was crusted in glittering gemstones.  That is till I spotted some gems sticking out of a mountain wall, send my miner up to carve them out, and Urist McGemForBrains becomes Urst McAdvancedWarning by discovering a goblin ambush by way of accidentally getting a goblin sword to the back of his neck.  *facepalm*

His Masterwork Marble Coffin was encrusted with Emerald.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on February 26, 2011, 08:18:47 am
Aquifers don't endlessly drain magma.
*computerface*
*facecomputer*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Knarfle on February 27, 2011, 01:11:46 am
Quote from: ggamer on February 23, 2011, 07:19:55 pm
My miner was taking a nap in the barracks. All of a sudden, I get two announcments compressed into one.
THIEF! Protect the horde from the skulking filth.
Urist McLegendary Miner Has been struck down.

The kobold... slashed him in the head with a copper dagger... and TOOK IT'S FUCKING HEAD OFF.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Leonard DeVir on February 27, 2011, 02:05:25 pm
Urist McWeird likes [...] and starved women for their macabre ways. WHAT!?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on February 27, 2011, 03:13:22 pm
Quote from: Leonard DeVir on February 27, 2011, 02:05:25 pm
Urist McWeird likes [...] and starved women for their macabre ways. WHAT!?
"Starved woman" is probably a type of night creature.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GamerKnight on February 27, 2011, 04:55:13 pm
One square of molten rock cannot support an entire fortress by itself.

facepalm
face computer
ballscomputer
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scaraban on February 27, 2011, 05:06:05 pm
Quote from: GamerKnight on February 27, 2011, 04:55:13 pm
One square of molten rock cannot support an entire fortress by itself.

facepalm
face computer
ballscomputer
wait... wtf...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GamerKnight on February 28, 2011, 12:26:12 am
I made a tower out of my fortress. I channelled all around it down to the magma sea. I did not think. Do not judge me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scaraban on February 28, 2011, 12:31:56 am
I'm more disturbed concerned that you took that to mean you should then rape your computer
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GamerKnight on February 28, 2011, 12:33:01 am
No, I actually dropped my laptop onto my crotch afterwards. As I said, do not judge me, for I have suffered enough.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scaraban on February 28, 2011, 12:37:30 am
Quote from: GamerKnight on February 28, 2011, 12:33:01 am
No, I actually dropped my laptop onto my crotch afterwards. As I said, do not judge me, for I have suffered enough.
LQTM
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StreetPizza on February 28, 2011, 02:32:37 am
I facepalm'd when I realized that "Urist McUrist complained about the draft lately" did not refer to wind blowing into the fortress and giving everyone dwarf-pneumonia.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beardless on February 28, 2011, 02:41:25 am
Quote from: Scaraban on February 27, 2011, 05:06:05 pm
Quote from: GamerKnight on February 27, 2011, 04:55:13 pm
One square of molten rock cannot support an entire fortress by itself.

facepalm
face computer
ballscomputer
wait... wtf...

You need to learn when not to ask. I'd been trying to learn that for years, but it wasn't until I joined the Bay12 forums that I realized that it was a survival skill.

I learned fast.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Talikmon on February 28, 2011, 04:29:03 am
Wanted to move a titan in his cage to a different room and instead let him out of the cage.  All hell did break loose. 

Seconding the d/b menu in first few games.  ENTER ENTER ENTER ENTER ENTER ENTER ENTER.

Oh yeah, my first game or two, not knowing about bins.  Stockpiles coming out of my ears.

Or my first encounter with carps.  Couldn't figure out why my dwarfs kept dying, turning all the offshoots of the river red.  Even worse, couldn't figure out why my lemming dwarfs kept pouring out to go to the same place, only to die as well. 

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: greycat on February 28, 2011, 11:59:38 am
Quote from: Urist McBusDriver on February 22, 2011, 07:58:29 pm
I'm still using the old method for flooding farmland, but to make underground tree farms after I breach the first cavern. Underground trees will still only grow on muddy rock.

Not true... I get "trees" (tower cap, etc.) in my pastures dug out of clay/sand, without ever irrigating.  Probably a bug, so don't count on it staying that way whenever .20 comes out.

Obligatory facepalm: If the mason is 80 Z levels up, he probably can't get down to the circus in time to wall up the hole where the clowns are coming out....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on February 28, 2011, 12:05:49 pm
In .18, so far as I could tell, trees and such grew so long as the level below was soil or the ground was muddy.  I assume the same rules apply for the more recent version.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sirdrake on February 28, 2011, 12:29:35 pm
Quote from: greycat on February 28, 2011, 11:59:38 am
Quote from: Urist McBusDriver on February 22, 2011, 07:58:29 pm
I'm still using the old method for flooding farmland, but to make underground tree farms after I breach the first cavern. Underground trees will still only grow on muddy rock.

Not true... I get "trees" (tower cap, etc.) in my pastures dug out of clay/sand, without ever irrigating.  Probably a bug, so don't count on it staying that way whenever .20 comes out.

Obligatory facepalm: If the mason is 80 Z levels up, he probably can't get down to the circus in time to wall up the hole where the clowns are coming out....
its not a bug because it happens in myn all the time
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McBusDriver on February 28, 2011, 01:05:02 pm
Quote from: Sirdrake on February 28, 2011, 12:29:35 pm
Quote from: greycat on February 28, 2011, 11:59:38 am
Quote from: Urist McBusDriver on February 22, 2011, 07:58:29 pm
I'm still using the old method for flooding farmland, but to make underground tree farms after I breach the first cavern. Underground trees will still only grow on muddy rock.

Not true... I get "trees" (tower cap, etc.) in my pastures dug out of clay/sand, without ever irrigating.  Probably a bug, so don't count on it staying that way whenever .20 comes out.

Obligatory facepalm: If the mason is 80 Z levels up, he probably can't get down to the circus in time to wall up the hole where the clowns are coming out....
its not a bug because it happens in myn all the time
Excellent. Does that mean that everything that happens on your PC isn't a bug?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zehran on February 28, 2011, 01:19:12 pm
Looking at historical figures just to see if there is anything insteresting and apart from a minotaur with nine kills and a human who killed a bronze collossus right out of the blue most of the historical figures are kobolds who died from starvation...

Quote from: kyle902 on February 25, 2011, 01:00:46 am
My newest world has a deity of suicide....
My humans have three gods. Assoiciated with rainbows, beauty and peace, respectively.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scaraban on February 28, 2011, 06:28:01 pm
Quote from: zehran on February 28, 2011, 01:19:12 pm
Looking at historical figures just to see if there is anything insteresting and apart from a minotaur with nine kills and a human who killed a bronze collossus right out of the blue most of the historical figures are kobolds who died from starvation...

Quote from: kyle902 on February 25, 2011, 01:00:46 am
My newest world has a deity of suicide....
My humans have three gods. Assoiciated with rainbows, beauty and peace, respectively.
so they cut the points off...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mszegedy on March 01, 2011, 01:56:58 am
Opening the floodgates leading to a river. I'm not sure why I had them in the first place; I think it was dunno. Handy self-destruct system at least.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CinnibarMan on March 02, 2011, 04:50:53 am
Quote from: Urist McBusDriver on February 28, 2011, 01:05:02 pm
Quote from: Sirdrake on February 28, 2011, 12:29:35 pm
Quote from: greycat on February 28, 2011, 11:59:38 am
Quote from: Urist McBusDriver on February 22, 2011, 07:58:29 pm
I'm still using the old method for flooding farmland, but to make underground tree farms after I breach the first cavern. Underground trees will still only grow on muddy rock.

Not true... I get "trees" (tower cap, etc.) in my pastures dug out of clay/sand, without ever irrigating.  Probably a bug, so don't count on it staying that way whenever .20 comes out.

Obligatory facepalm: If the mason is 80 Z levels up, he probably can't get down to the circus in time to wall up the hole where the clowns are coming out....
its not a bug because it happens in myn all the time
Excellent. Does that mean that everything that happens on your PC isn't a bug?

Once you open up the caverns, spores will take root anywhere that is soil/sand/mud and considered inside.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bobhayes on March 02, 2011, 04:58:53 am
Quote from: CinnibarMan on March 02, 2011, 04:50:53 am
Once you open up the caverns, spores will take root anywhere that is soil/sand/mud and considered inside.

Not quite; they won't grow on new constructed stone. No constructed tree towers, alas (that would be cool). Muddied floor over natural stone yes; artificial "new" floor, no.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vikenator2 on March 02, 2011, 06:44:15 am
Ok I just had my biggest facepalm ever.

I was on a map with a river, and I was running Dig Deeper. I was under seige by orcs, and everyone was inside. There was a weaponsmith in a fey mood just standing around. I didn't have a well, and I was running low on booze. Everything was set up for a well, all I needed was a chain. So, I had them smelt some nickel, and then built a metalsmith's forge with my only anvil. I ordered some chains to be constructed, and then, before my metalsmiths got there...

UristMcDumbassWeaponsmith has claimed a Metalsmith's Forge!

So now I have to wait until the seige leaves, this bugger goes insane, or all my dwarves die of thirst.

/facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Maninblack144 on March 02, 2011, 07:13:41 am
Don't you have the materials for a rope of sorts?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vikenator2 on March 02, 2011, 07:16:32 am
You can use ROPE?!?

/double facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MarcAFK on March 02, 2011, 07:47:22 am
You can use obsidian for your tree farms :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on March 02, 2011, 05:46:02 pm
Quote from: MarcAFK on March 02, 2011, 07:47:22 am
You can use obsidian for your tree farms :P

Can you? Like, obsidian you created 100Z levels up? I want trees in my sky fortress, but I didn't know I was allowed to have them!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sowelu on March 02, 2011, 09:21:20 pm
Quote from: Flaede on March 02, 2011, 05:46:02 pm
Quote from: MarcAFK on March 02, 2011, 07:47:22 am
You can use obsidian for your tree farms :P

Can you? Like, obsidian you created 100Z levels up? I want trees in my sky fortress, but I didn't know I was allowed to have them!

I have a new megaproject idea now.  :D

The Abbey of Diamonds has started construction on a Great Wonder:  The Hanging Gardens!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scaraban on March 02, 2011, 09:41:09 pm
Quote from: Sowelu on March 02, 2011, 09:21:20 pm
Quote from: Flaede on March 02, 2011, 05:46:02 pm
Quote from: MarcAFK on March 02, 2011, 07:47:22 am
You can use obsidian for your tree farms :P

Can you? Like, obsidian you created 100Z levels up? I want trees in my sky fortress, but I didn't know I was allowed to have them!

I have a new megaproject idea now.  :D

The Abbey of Diamonds has started construction on a Great Wonder:  The Hanging Gardens!
only trees though
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lamphare on March 02, 2011, 09:46:23 pm
Quote from: Scaraban on March 02, 2011, 09:41:09 pm
Quote from: Sowelu on March 02, 2011, 09:21:20 pm
Quote from: Flaede on March 02, 2011, 05:46:02 pm
Quote from: MarcAFK on March 02, 2011, 07:47:22 am
You can use obsidian for your tree farms :P

Can you? Like, obsidian you created 100Z levels up? I want trees in my sky fortress, but I didn't know I was allowed to have them!

I have a new megaproject idea now.  :D

The Abbey of Diamonds has started construction on a Great Wonder:  The Hanging Gardens!
only trees though
The Hanging Dendrological Garden!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mszegedy on March 02, 2011, 10:23:08 pm
My dwarves just locked themselves out of their fortress to which the only entrance is a bridge.

How much delay is there between pulling a lever and having the desired effect, again?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on March 02, 2011, 11:14:13 pm
Quote from: mszegedy on March 02, 2011, 10:23:08 pm
My dwarves just locked themselves out of their fortress to which the only entrance is a bridge.

How much delay is there between pulling a lever and having the desired effect, again?

Depends on the item connected. Bridges are 100 or 101 ticks depending on order of construction.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SgtNimrod on March 02, 2011, 11:40:45 pm
This is my recent facepalm moment; actually, a couple of them in quick succession. I'm new to the game, so I have a lot of them.

I embarked on an area that turned out to have very little metal, but I really wanted to play with either magma or smithing so I dug a single mineshaft straight down. Needless to say, I hit a cavern level. I didn't want to deal with any terrible beasties, so I instructed my little dorfies to build a wall around the breach so I could come deal with it later. Well, the moron dorf who built this wall built it with himself locked outside, and he was quickly becoming dehydrated. I didn't want to lose one of my original seven so early, so I had him deconstruct the wall, come inside, and then rebuild the wall again. Unfortunately, he was so thirsty he immediately booked it upstairs for some booze, and I watched helplessly as a Giant Olm waltzed leisurely into the single hole in the wall. It was a sign of things to come. Face - 0 Palm - 1

I managed to pull everyone into a group of wrestlers and kill the olm without injury. However, a giant D creature marched in and brutally slaughtered another dwarf when I wasn't looking, and suffocated a second. Face - 0 Palm - 3

After they'd lost two of their friends, the dwarfs realized I was looking out for their interest and built the stupid wall. Later on, with two more accidental cavern breached and a large wave of summer migeants I also ended up with two dwarves dying of thirst down the mineshaft despite not knowing why they were down there in the first place. One was a farmer who was apparently a little sad that I wasn't doing any farming. I'm up to 5 facepalms in this fort, and my mausoleum (I constructed a mausoleum in anticipation of more stupid tragedy) is already quite large for it only being winter of the first year.

/end long story  :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McBusDriver on March 03, 2011, 06:57:46 am
Quote from: mszegedy on March 02, 2011, 10:23:08 pm
My dwarves just locked themselves out of their fortress to which the only entrance is a bridge.

How much delay is there between pulling a lever and having the desired effect, again?

If you have materials on the outside of your fort, could you just build another lever and link it to the entrance bridge and use it to lower it?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xtank5 on March 03, 2011, 09:04:22 am
Bridges need to be down in order to be linked.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Magentawolf on March 03, 2011, 03:57:41 pm
Quote from: Urist McBusDriver on March 03, 2011, 06:57:46 am
Quote from: mszegedy on March 02, 2011, 10:23:08 pm
My dwarves just locked themselves out of their fortress to which the only entrance is a bridge.

How much delay is there between pulling a lever and having the desired effect, again?

If you have materials on the outside of your fort, could you just build another lever and link it to the entrance bridge and use it to lower it?

Well, hopefully one of those dwarves stuck outside is a miner. Mine your way back in, then wall it up! ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McBusDriver on March 03, 2011, 07:05:23 pm
Fortress is humming along nicely. 125 dwarfs, a military consisting of three leather-clad marksdwarfs equipped with a lot of *goblin bone bolt*, and just completed the new dining hall and expanded bedroom area when the dwarf caravan appears. We trade, negotiate, I carry on working on the new residential areas, when I realise the caravan's escorts and yaks are wandering all over the fort. Unusual. I carry on, then a few in-game months later "Yak bull has gone insane!" - and so did a few of the merchants. I activate the military and move them to the main stairway, but no-one's attacking my dwarfs. Half the merchants and their yaks went mad, and were killed by the other half.

At the same time, a minotaur showed up, and walked straight into the first cage trap in the entrance corridor. Which no-one brought inside. I was very confused.

Then I realised, the foot-bath in the entrance hallway, between the cage traps and the trade depot, I had set as a pond to top it up. It was 2/7 and 3/7 depth, and I wanted 3/7 all over. But I'd forgotten to deactivate the zone, and it was now 6/7 all over. D'oh!

Put a floor over the bath and everything became fine; the remaining merchants left. Managed to drain the water using buckets but nearly flooded the deep garbage pit in the process, where there's a lot of valuable exploded goblin limbs that will hopefully become craftable bone soon. Realised the danger when it was 3/7 - just in time!

The minotaur is now sitting in the barracks while I wonder if he should be in a zoo, or pitted, or used to train my axedwarfs when I start training some.

Moral of the story: don't leave the bath running!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lamphare on March 03, 2011, 07:11:48 pm
Quote from: Urist McBusDriver on March 03, 2011, 07:05:23 pm
Fortress is humming along nicely. 125 dwarfs, a military consisting of three leather-clad marksdwarfs equipped with a lot of *goblin bone bolt*, and just completed the new dining hall and expanded bedroom area when the dwarf caravan appears. We trade, negotiate, I carry on working on the new residential areas, when I realise the caravan's escorts and yaks are wandering all over the fort. Unusual. I carry on, then a few in-game months later "Yak bull has gone insane!" - and so did a few of the merchants. I activate the military and move them to the main stairway, but no-one's attacking my dwarfs. Half the merchants and their yaks went mad, and were killed by the other half.

At the same time, a minotaur showed up, and walked straight into the first cage trap in the entrance corridor. Which no-one brought inside. I was very confused.

Then I realised, the foot-bath in the entrance hallway, between the cage traps and the trade depot, I had set as a pond to top it up. It was 2/7 and 3/7 depth, and I wanted 3/7 all over. But I'd forgotten to deactivate the zone, and it was now 6/7 all over. D'oh!

Put a floor over the bath and everything became fine; the remaining merchants left. Managed to drain the water using buckets but nearly flooded the deep garbage pit in the process, where there's a lot of valuable exploded goblin limbs that will hopefully become craftable bone soon. Realised the danger when it was 3/7 - just in time!

The minotaur is now sitting in the barracks while I wonder if he should be in a zoo, or pitted, or used to train my axedwarfs when I start training some.

Moral of the story: don't leave the bath running!
6/7 is fine.
actually it's what i have for my meeting hall. so everyone gets trained for swimming without drown.
the only downside is that they move slowly if they are swimming.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scaraban on March 03, 2011, 07:22:16 pm
any level fine for swimmers
3/7 for pathing even if swimmer though
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ExdeathV on March 04, 2011, 12:23:12 am
Alright so I decide to embark in a sinister jungle without an aquifer thank damn you Armok! Since I'm still a beginner I decide to edit the embark points. So after I'm done, I start out with 250 mica and 250 wood in total with steel weapons and a silver warhammer. From the start, I enable carpentry for every dwarf and start creating a wooden fort around my wagon with some space to allow my dwarves to walk around. Right now, I'm surrounded by zombie and skeleton animals that can be taken care of easily and 100 wood is used to build this wall. As they draw near and my fort is about to be finished, Urist McDumbassWoodworker walls himself out. I decide to make him fight the animals just to see if he'll survive. And so far, he did without any real damage and he became a good axedwarf from it. Now we tear down 2 of the bottom walls and build a bridge that walls off the entrance. So right now I'm digging down and making a few workshops and housing/dining rooms. Since I decided to make my fort population only 50, I make 50 rooms, beds, tables, etc in preparation while my miners start digging down so I can find the
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
. Anyway, everything is sunshine and puppies, or actually darkness, decay, and skeletal elephants for my dwarves for now. Some migrants come once the coast is clear, and we let the bridge down. Right now my miners are drawing near my destination while building some screwpumps for the magma. Now here's where the facepalming yet awesome moment (for me) begins, in my head and heart, I want to actually go fight enjoy the monsters clowns instead of dieing from the usual animal. Right now, I have mark dwarves on top of my walls and protected by fortifications. As I let down the bridge for my last migrants, out of nowhere, I see them rushing in, I look near them and see a freaking group of zombie elephants and lions chasing them. Before I can do anything, almost all my dwarves are dead except for my miners. When they return for food and water, I order one of them to pull the lever to bring up the bridge, but instead they sat around eating. Did I mention that I embarked on a cave that housed one of my creations, a giant talking tortoise that can make you explode just by ramming you into a wall? So now I see my creation announcing its arrival, and makes its way to my fort while my dwarfs are too busy being Urist McDumbasses for not pulling the lever. So now I'm watching what my creation does best, making things explode by ramming them into a wall. Man, I never facepalmed this hard before.

Moral of this story:Go embark in a sinster area without an aquifer and housing a giant tortoise while trying to reach the circus. Go see how long you can last.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MarcAFK on March 04, 2011, 01:58:48 am
Quote from: Lamphare on March 02, 2011, 09:46:23 pm
Quote from: Scaraban on March 02, 2011, 09:41:09 pm
Quote from: Sowelu on March 02, 2011, 09:21:20 pm
Quote from: Flaede on March 02, 2011, 05:46:02 pm
Quote from: MarcAFK on March 02, 2011, 07:47:22 am
You can use obsidian for your tree farms :P

Can you? Like, obsidian you created 100Z levels up? I want trees in my sky fortress, but I didn't know I was allowed to have them!

I have a new megaproject idea now.  :D

The Abbey of Diamonds has started construction on a Great Wonder:  The Hanging Gardens!
only trees though
The Hanging Dendrological Garden!
i'm pretty sure that if you have some of your obsidian exposed to sunlight you'll get outdoor plants and trees growing on it, you can then roof over it and it'll still be marked as outside and so will still grow..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scaraban on March 04, 2011, 02:06:58 pm
outdoor plants need soil
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on March 04, 2011, 02:14:50 pm
Quote from: Scaraban on March 04, 2011, 02:06:58 pm
outdoor plants need soil
that's a problem.
*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iados on March 04, 2011, 03:30:38 pm
my bridge-of-death design:
D=door, + = floor, X = wall, - = open space,
Code: [Select]
+           +
+ ----------+
D++++++++++D fort
+ ----------+
+           +

Naturally the bridge has 5 cage traps and a weapon trap with 10 large serrated green glass discs.
I place the dwarves on the "fort" area. I wait for goblins to enter...
RESULT: 10 splattered dwarves on the pit, 3 dead goblins, 7 alive goblins.

*FACEPALM*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on March 04, 2011, 03:36:23 pm
Quote from: TolyK on March 04, 2011, 02:14:50 pm
Quote from: Scaraban on March 04, 2011, 02:06:58 pm
outdoor plants need soil
that's a problem.
*facepalm*
You can try building then removing a floor, which should reset the floor to the biome's natural floor, which is usually dirt.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on March 04, 2011, 03:51:19 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on March 04, 2011, 03:36:23 pm
Quote from: TolyK on March 04, 2011, 02:14:50 pm
Quote from: Scaraban on March 04, 2011, 02:06:58 pm
outdoor plants need soil
that's a problem.
*facepalm*
You can try building then removing a floor, which should reset the floor to the biome's natural floor, which is usually dirt.
huh, that should work.
now to get to a dirt-topped volcano  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on March 05, 2011, 12:15:05 am
You know the tantrum spiral is beyond stopping when the captain of the guard himself goes berserk...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lamphare on March 05, 2011, 12:25:51 am
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on March 04, 2011, 03:36:23 pm
Quote from: TolyK on March 04, 2011, 02:14:50 pm
Quote from: Scaraban on March 04, 2011, 02:06:58 pm
outdoor plants need soil
that's a problem.
*facepalm*
You can try building then removing a floor, which should reset the floor to the biome's natural floor, which is usually dirt.

in my case its andesite
*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on March 05, 2011, 12:31:02 am
I've got a dwarf who's spent the last few days trying to pick up a crossbow. He's clearly in denial about not having arms anymore.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Poindexterity on March 05, 2011, 04:07:06 am
made enough crossbows and bolts for my entire fort to arm themselves, just in case.
the enemies got in and we surrounded them,

did i forget to make quivers?
yup.
all massacred.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GamerKnight on March 05, 2011, 06:26:06 am
Quote from: Poindexterity on March 05, 2011, 04:07:06 am
made enough crossbows and bolts for my entire fort to arm themselves, just in case.
the enemies got in and we surrounded them,

did i forget to make quivers?
yup.
all massacred.

THATS WHAT I KEEP DOING WRONG!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McBusDriver on March 05, 2011, 07:59:19 am
Quote from: Scaraban on March 03, 2011, 07:22:16 pm
any level fine for swimmers
3/7 for pathing even if swimmer though
Is 2/7 good enough for washing the stuff off dwarves?

And, is there an FPS penalty for having one tile of 3/7 and another tile of 2/7 or 4/7? I think the moving water costs processing time...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on March 05, 2011, 10:24:02 am
Quote from: Urist McBusDriver on March 05, 2011, 07:59:19 am
Quote from: Scaraban on March 03, 2011, 07:22:16 pm
any level fine for swimmers
3/7 for pathing even if swimmer though
Is 2/7 good enough for washing the stuff off dwarves? Yes

And, is there an FPS penalty for having one tile of 3/7 and another tile of 2/7 or 4/7? I think the moving water costs processing time...Yes, "ripples" are not good.
in bold.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kluger on March 05, 2011, 10:37:16 am
The front entrance to my fortress is protected by a drawbridge without a moat.  When the drawbridge is down, my dwarfs have easy access to the surrounding territory.  When the drawbridge is up, enemies have to access my fortress only by traversing a series of long hallways each protected by a ballista.

About 4 years in, without having any raiding parties, I get my first goblin siege.  Awesome!  Time to test out my fortress' defenses!

Urist McLeader:  RETRACT THE DRAWBRIDGE!
Urist McPesant:  Wait, did he say RETRACT the drawbridge?
Goblin McLasher:  Do you know what would make a better defense than a retractable drawbridge?  ANYTHING! HAHAHAHAHA!

Luckily (luckily?), before the first whip strangled my first dwarf to death the game crashed so I can still claim that my defenses are impenetrable!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: phoenixuk on March 05, 2011, 11:46:09 am
My usual method of disposing of captured hostiles is a channelled pit, in which i place all the cages, connect em up to a lever, line up my archers above and release the targets. They can't get out of the pit as the stairs are hatched, so my archers just get to cut them down, occasionally stopping to reload, drink, have a snooze, etc...

The last goblin assault i faced i captured some 15 goblins. So i load them all into the pit and connect everyone up. Archers get ready, lever pulled, and it's a bloody arrow storm. 10 Crossbowdwarves, 15 moving targets, glorious.

Except, i forgot to link one of the cages. So as the dust, blood, vomit and bolts settle, we see a single goblin pikeman, in his cage, naked, cold, and coated in every kind of unimaginable gore, all of it from his erstwhile former colleagues. He's still down their.
We can't finish him off till i clean that pit, it's revolting. But don't worry, his turn will come.
Till then he can sit in his cage, dripping 14 different types of goblin blood, vomit and who knows what else, quite possibly mentally unhinged after watching all of his murderous friends get turned into piles of goblin mush with bolts sticking out of them.

That'll teach em to kill my new recruit wrestler.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Keldane on March 05, 2011, 03:25:58 pm
Phoenixuk, it is stories like yours that make me think that Dwarf Fortress is actually triple-distilled cruelty absorbed transdermally through our fingertips whenever we play. It simultaneously inspires and terrifies me. I feel very sorry for any goblinoid alien race that attempts to attack Earth, knowing that there may be DF players in strategic positions worldwide.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scaraban on March 05, 2011, 03:36:28 pm
Quote from: Keldane on March 05, 2011, 03:25:58 pm
Phoenixuk, it is stories like yours that make me think that Dwarf Fortress is actually triple-distilled cruelty awesome absorbed transdermally through our fingertips whenever we play. It simultaneously inspires and terrifies inspires me. I feel very sorry for look forward to any goblinoid alien race that attempts to attack Earth, knowing that there may will be DF players in strategic positions worldwide.
Fix'd
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on March 05, 2011, 04:18:32 pm
fish are friends, not food.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: werechicken on March 05, 2011, 05:14:19 pm
This happened in a version before the underground stuff.

I was building a giant wall around the outside of my fort and channelling the brook as a moat. I managed to knick one of my storerooms that I'd had to dig into the sand by the brook because I needed areas without stone on the ground because I hadn't figured out what bins were for. Anyway the stock room flooded and, because nothing in my fortress had a door, everyone drowned.

This same fort had lost nearly 80% of it's population two winters previously when I realised that I needed a well and my dwarves kept eating the plumb helmets before they could be brewed.

All of that because I was trying to straighten a river.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kian on March 05, 2011, 11:50:14 pm
So I made a new game in 31.19, to see what this lack of metals was like. I embark at a site with flux and deep metals, and find out it's all marble and gold. Well, the place will at least look pretty awesome once I start decorating with gold and marble, but it presents problems for making actual useful objects.

Suddenly, one of the dorfs gets possessed. A Weaponsmith, even. I quickly build a wood burner, smelter and forge (parent civ gave me a steel anvil) and smelt some gold for him. I'm thinking 'what kind of awesome, gold artifact weapon will I get'? A sword would be cool. Maybe an axe. Warhammer should hit like a ton of bricks. What does the possessed (so not even legendary after the item is built) bastard give me? Tathurmorul, "Scribepaged", a gold crossbow. Has an image of a clownfish.

Sure, it's nice, but I was hoping for something more dorfy for my first artifact, you know? Well, at least considering I have no metal, all my defence will have to be marksdwarves. Should be a nice weapon for my militia commander.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MonkeyHead on March 06, 2011, 06:09:14 am
and also very useful when he runs out of bolts and forces it through the skull of a tantruming child.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mobotium on March 06, 2011, 08:55:01 am
First Dwarf death: Didn't notice my gemcrafter had walled himself in the room after building his workshop. Died of thirst after a few months.

I guess he was just retarded or someting but still...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on March 06, 2011, 12:38:55 pm
Quote from: Mobotium on March 06, 2011, 08:55:01 am
First Dwarf death: Didn't notice my gemcrafter had walled himself in the room after building his workshop. Died of thirst after a few months.

I guess he was just retarded or someting but still...
I did the exact same thing on my last fort.
Damn gemcrafter's workshops, why do they have three impassable tiles in a row?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on March 06, 2011, 02:01:28 pm
The first thing the goblins did when they arrived on the map was attack... each other.

Seriously. Just arrived an started killing each other.

Perhaps they felt ripped off that my fort would clearly not offer even the tiniest bit of a fight.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serrational on March 06, 2011, 03:27:47 pm
Quote from: Samuel on March 06, 2011, 02:01:28 pm
The first thing the goblins did when they arrived on the map was attack... each other.

Seriously. Just arrived an started killing each other.
You may have the infamous "civil war" glitch, in whitch two goblin events occur during each other, causing the goblins to just... go nuts...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Icee77 on March 06, 2011, 03:31:15 pm
Um, one time i was making a channel when i found out that my fortress stretches out EVERYWHERE.
Urist Mcstupid:GUHUHUH! funny wator!
Urist Mcstupid has Drowned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cotes on March 06, 2011, 04:49:20 pm
What I learned today:

- Never try to pump directly from a river without walling the operator's seat from the output tile first.  "-Slippery when wet-".

- Channeling out an aquifer in freezing wheather: Dig, jump, wet, cold.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr. Argent on March 06, 2011, 07:27:14 pm
So, i took several minutes searching to find the perfect embark spot, set up all my dwarves and starting equipment to pretty much be optimal, and got the "Strike the earth!" speech, then i started the game.

SUDDENLY ALLIGATORS. Right off the bat, two of my dwarves and some animals dead. I had spawned right next to some alligators. Let's hope i can recover...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vastin on March 07, 2011, 12:19:04 pm
Had a nice secure fortress. No trouble to date. No snatchers or anything.

Decided to expand the outer wall to encompass some more pasture space, and mostly did so without risking integrity, except for one phase of the project that was going to last about 1 minute.

Ambush! Vile tree hugging elves and their #$%@ giant war-tigers explode out of no-where.

I then discover moments later that not only are my surface walls compromised with 1/2 my dwarves in the open, but I forgot to affix an emergency hatch on my newly dug second access tunnel. No squads available yet except for the miner militia. Now we're really having fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bralbaard on March 07, 2011, 02:47:51 pm
I had a large battle underground, the entire military of my young, 25 dwarves strong fortress was involved. I expected to get into big trouble because my army relies on bone and leather armor since I don't have access to metal. Despite my fears I actually secured a perfect victory, no losses and no serious injuries, but nevertheless three of my best soldiers check into the hospital with some minor bruises, and scratches. I micromanage dwarf job assignments to make sure that all medical personal is free to help them get back on their feet as quickly as possible. It all works splendidly, the diagnoser quickly checks the wounds, dwarves are running with bandages, soap, water, and food, and it looks like all scheduled treatments are finished within days of arrival.

Satisfied I check their health status to see how they are doing, only to have a facepalm moment. Apparently I had forgotten to build a well, so my medical staff used water from the nearby stagnant pond to wash the soldier's wounds. All of them have infected wounds now, and are unlikely to recover.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flying Dice on March 07, 2011, 08:23:40 pm
Embarked on a map with an aquifer. I think "no big deal, I'll set up my top level then build some pumps to drain it." I order the dig on the initial tunnel. 3 tiles in I breach the aquifer and flood the map.  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JujuBubu on March 08, 2011, 05:06:26 am
I dug into a 3 level aquifer from below and flooded the first cavern, which allready was a underground ocean or lake.

Then I savescummed the wrong folder.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grax on March 08, 2011, 02:07:14 pm
(http://www.fohguild.org/forums/attachments/screenshots/141443d1275412965-funny-strange-random-pics-1274123541183.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on March 08, 2011, 02:24:02 pm
Quote from: Grax on March 08, 2011, 02:07:14 pm
*picture*
*facepalm*
This happens so much...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grax on March 08, 2011, 02:29:23 pm
Quote from: TolyK on March 08, 2011, 02:24:02 pm
Quote from: Grax on March 08, 2011, 02:07:14 pm
*picture*
*facepalm*
This happens so much...
In my fortresses it happens exactly every time i found a cavern. ;-)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on March 08, 2011, 03:26:23 pm
Damn it, chief-medical-dwarf-who-is-now-also-a-mayor, you used to be cool. Mandating adamantine items totally blew it.

Now he's gonna have some poor metalcrafter beaten to death, just as the fortress is coming out of a dangerously close call with a potential tantrum spiral.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on March 08, 2011, 04:15:34 pm
Try giving your captain of the guard a training weapon.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on March 08, 2011, 04:26:20 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on March 08, 2011, 04:15:34 pm
Try giving your captain of the guard a training weapon.

Thanks for the advice. There were a whole bunch of guys with disorderly conduct charges, and the new captain decided they should take their beating before he swapt his bronze axe for the wooden one.

They're all dead now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on March 08, 2011, 04:43:13 pm
Quote from: Samuel on March 08, 2011, 04:26:20 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on March 08, 2011, 04:15:34 pm
Try giving your captain of the guard a training weapon.

Thanks for the advice. There were a whole bunch of guys with disorderly conduct charges, and the new captain decided they should take their beating before he swapt his bronze axe for the wooden one.

They're all dead now.
i like to keep captains in limbo when that happens - assign one and lock him in his room for a bit (don't forget about him!) while the usual trades weapons. then assign back and free old one.

now: try savescuming?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grax on March 08, 2011, 04:55:17 pm
Sorry for the big picture.

(http://www.fohguild.org/forums/attachments/screenshots/139449d1273433701-funny-strange-random-pics-123.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on March 08, 2011, 04:57:08 pm
ah, so this:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on March 08, 2011, 05:03:02 pm
Quote from: TolyK on March 08, 2011, 04:43:13 pm
Quote from: Samuel on March 08, 2011, 04:26:20 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on March 08, 2011, 04:15:34 pm
Try giving your captain of the guard a training weapon.

Thanks for the advice. There were a whole bunch of guys with disorderly conduct charges, and the new captain decided they should take their beating before he swapt his bronze axe for the wooden one.

They're all dead now.
i like to keep captains in limbo when that happens - assign one and lock him in his room for a bit (don't forget about him!) while the usual trades weapons. then assign back and free old one.

now: try savescuming?

I don't savescum. Especially when whatever went wrong is funny.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: proxn_punkd on March 08, 2011, 06:17:09 pm
The Cyclops Astru Genong Okasmaz has come! A giant humanoid monster with a single eye set in its forehead.
Some migrants have arrived.

RIGHT. ON TOP. OF THE CYCLOPS.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flying Dice on March 08, 2011, 06:27:09 pm
Embark on a major river. With the wagon on the very edge of the ice. I check the map with DFreveal, and I notice the masterwork cotton candy stick. The moment I unpause, ice melts & everyone dies.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Excedion on March 08, 2011, 07:07:52 pm
Minotaur arrives on the map. "Oh no worries, if i send some ranged militia then he wont be able to close on them before they kill it."

Send 6 poorly trained marksdwarves with xbows and leather armor out to fight the beast. It goes badly. As soon as he hits the first archer he knocks her to the ground, grabs her quiver and beats her to death with it. He then proceeds to beat the rest of my militia to death with the same leather quiver without any of them leaving a scratch. Thank god for cage traps

(http://img.ie/7617c.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xeivous on March 08, 2011, 10:11:36 pm
Quote from: Excedion on March 08, 2011, 07:07:52 pm
Minotaur arrives on the map. "Oh no worries, if i send some ranged militia then he wont be able to close on them before they kill it."

Send 6 poorly trained marksdwarves with xbows and leather armor out to fight the beast. It goes badly. As soon as he hits the first archer he knocks her to the ground, grabs her quiver and beats her to death with it. He then proceeds to beat the rest of my militia to death with the same leather quiver without any of them leaving a scratch. Thank god for cage traps

img snip
On the bright side, you have one less kitten-factory clogging up your fps...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GamerKnight on March 09, 2011, 01:05:40 am
If you caught it, what will you do with it?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: L3TUC3 on March 09, 2011, 08:11:14 am
I have decent fort going with a fairly decent militia who've spent most their time beating up any naked gobs taken prisoner from the cage traps.

Now an ambush appeared and it had a bunch of archer in them, injuring some of my military, but also a few dwarves who needed those silk socks pretty badly.

This is a fine task for my chief medical dwarf, who has had nothing to do all game, save for a disarm mishap with a pikegob. The injured are dragged in like pincushions, with my 10 bed hospital filled to 8.

My medical dwarf then decides this is the most opportune time to go on break....and then have a nap.

/facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FritzPL on March 09, 2011, 10:31:36 am
My Engraver dodging from Crundle into wall.

She gently exploded after taking all power of impact on every single part of her body.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serrational on March 09, 2011, 11:19:27 am
....Might there have been a drop BETWEEN THE WALL AND THE DWARF? Hm?

On the facepalm side though, my "Let's build a noble-disposer over the waterfall. Ah, let's test it. Oh dear Armok, get the kids off of the *splat*!" Tantrum spiral wasn't too intelligent either...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cotes on March 09, 2011, 02:20:15 pm
Quote from: Serrational on March 09, 2011, 11:19:27 am
....Might there have been a drop BETWEEN THE WALL AND THE DWARF? Hm?

On the facepalm side though, my "Let's build a noble-disposer over the waterfall. Ah, let's test it. Oh dear Armok, get the kids off of the *splat*!" Tantrum spiral wasn't too intelligent either...
I swear those little bastards can sense impending doom an have an instinct to run right at it.

Then again, my fortress seems to worship the god of suicide.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on March 09, 2011, 02:55:12 pm
Quote from: Samuel on March 08, 2011, 05:03:02 pm
Quote from: TolyK on March 08, 2011, 04:43:13 pm
Quote from: Samuel on March 08, 2011, 04:26:20 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on March 08, 2011, 04:15:34 pm
Try giving your captain of the guard a training weapon.

Thanks for the advice. There were a whole bunch of guys with disorderly conduct charges, and the new captain decided they should take their beating before he swapt his bronze axe for the wooden one.

They're all dead now.
i like to keep captains in limbo when that happens - assign one and lock him in his room for a bit (don't forget about him!) while the usual trades weapons. then assign back and free old one.

now: try savescuming?

I don't savescum. Especially when whatever went wrong is funny.
neither do i. unless of course my brother comes on and wrecks the shit out of my fort >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on March 09, 2011, 03:42:08 pm
Quote from: FritzPL on March 09, 2011, 10:31:36 am
My Engraver dodging from Crundle into wall.

She gently exploded after taking all power of impact on every single part of her body.

This is probably the greatest thing I have ever heard of happening in this game.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on March 09, 2011, 04:39:02 pm
You can make a wood furnace out of ice! But if its inside, it'll melt, because its too warm.  ???
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Excedion on March 09, 2011, 04:45:22 pm
Quote from: GamerKnight on March 09, 2011, 01:05:40 am
If you caught it, what will you do with it?

Going to build a labyrinth in the bottom of my fort to dump annoying migrants. using a system of flood gates and levers hopefully i can keep him in. If goblins appear then ill use them but i have yet to see any goblins or humans on this map
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on March 09, 2011, 05:41:21 pm
Quote from: FritzPL on March 09, 2011, 10:31:36 am
My Engraver dodging from Crundle into wall.

She gently exploded after taking all power of impact on every single part of her body.
I ROFL'd.
For real.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flying Dice on March 09, 2011, 08:41:50 pm
I recently found out that the upright cotton candy stick hidden in certain maps shows up on the screen for linking upright spears to levers...

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Genoraven on March 09, 2011, 11:00:09 pm
Quote from: Flying Dice on March 09, 2011, 08:41:50 pm
I recently found out that the upright cotton candy stick hidden in certain maps shows up on the screen for linking upright spears to levers...
Stop that. No more clown references.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: twwolfe on March 10, 2011, 12:58:26 am
Quote from: Genoraven on March 09, 2011, 11:00:09 pm
Quote from: Flying Dice on March 09, 2011, 08:41:50 pm
I recently found out that the upright cotton candy stick hidden in certain maps shows up on the screen for linking upright spears to levers...
Stop that. No more clown references.

Bit late for that, old chap. clownite has entered the DF lexicon, and it has stuck
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: antymattar on March 10, 2011, 05:25:31 am
Quote from: Keldane on March 05, 2011, 03:25:58 pm
Phoenixuk, it is stories like yours that make me think that Dwarf Fortress is actually triple-distilled cruelty absorbed transdermally through our fingertips whenever we play. It simultaneously inspires and terrifies me. I feel very sorry for any goblinoid alien race that attempts to attack Earth, knowing that there may be DF players in strategic positions worldwide.
sigged!  8)
... or maybe not(damn 500 letter space.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haspen on March 10, 2011, 05:30:32 am
Quote from: antymattar on March 10, 2011, 05:25:31 am
Quote from: Keldane on March 05, 2011, 03:25:58 pm
Phoenixuk, it is stories like yours that make me think that Dwarf Fortress is actually triple-distilled cruelty absorbed transdermally through our fingertips whenever we play. It simultaneously inspires and terrifies me. I feel very sorry for any goblinoid alien race that attempts to attack Earth, knowing that there may be DF players in strategic positions worldwide.
sigged!  8)
... or maybe not(damn 500 letter space.)

Erase date and link code from quote, saves around 50 letters.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cotes on March 10, 2011, 07:14:10 am
Marksdwarves. These goddamn assholes. They have exactly two modes:
A) "My quiver is empty, guess I'll just fuck around the front lines for a week anyway"
B) "Hmm, a crucial high priority military operation and my post is twenty yards away. Oh whoops, I'm missing like two bolts, better go back to the armory, it's only a mile walk"
-->
"Ahaha, whoops. I took only one arrow, I was missing two! Good thing I only walked half way to my post!"

Point A just killed nearly half my archers. I had neatly positioned them at the end of a hallway after an FB with poisonous vapors had camped behind a door on the other side of it. You know, so that they could fire a volley of death before it got close. Instead the morons had no ammunition (which I have in the hundreds, none assigned to hunters or other squads) and ran right at it. Guess how that worked out?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Valguris on March 10, 2011, 10:50:07 am
Quote from: Cotes on March 10, 2011, 07:14:10 am
Marksdwarves. These goddamn assholes. They have exactly two modes:
A) "My quiver is empty, guess I'll just fuck around the front lines for a week anyway"
B) "Hmm, a crucial high priority military operation and my post is twenty yards away. Oh whoops, I'm missing like two bolts, better go back to the armory, it's only a mile walk"
-->
"Ahaha, whoops. I took only one arrow, I was missing two! Good thing I only walked half way to my post!"

Point A just killed nearly half my archers. I had neatly positioned them at the end of a hallway after an FB with poisonous vapors had camped behind a door on the other side of it. You know, so that they could fire a volley of death before it got close. Instead the morons had no ammunition (which I have in the hundreds, none assigned to hunters or other squads) and ran right at it. Guess how that worked out?

How many bolts have you assigned to that squad? Once i caught myself, that I left my squad of 10 marksdwarves with only 100 bolts assigned total (relic from times I had 1 marksdwarf). So some had ~20 bolts, and others ~1 bolt and were rushing to fight in melee.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cotes on March 10, 2011, 01:11:11 pm
A hundred per dwarf. I eventually managed to fix it at least momentarily by assigning them in separate stacks of hundred instead of just changing the amount of the original (in the military/ammunation menu).

For some reason they didn't recognize more than a small fraction of the bolts as theirs. I suspect it might have to do with the fact I had forbidden some of the metal ones (which they presumably had claimed for the squad) and the squad didn't know how to deal with that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Adramelech on March 10, 2011, 02:34:55 pm
One of my worst was definitely realizing the quick movement you could get from holding shift when moving around the map.
Boy, did that ever save time with tree designating.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flying Dice on March 10, 2011, 04:26:31 pm
Having a legendary axedwarf die to a human lasher with a silver whip...  >.<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: veok on March 10, 2011, 06:43:49 pm
Abandoning two badlands embarks needlessly.

Reason?

There's no trees on the map -- clearly, the map is bugged, so let's abandon and start again.

...in a badlands.

With "Trees: NONE" in big red letters at the top of the embark screen. >.<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bobhayes on March 10, 2011, 07:05:43 pm
Quote from: veok on March 10, 2011, 06:43:49 pm
With "Trees: NONE" in big red letters at the top of the embark screen. >.<

"What idiot chose this location?"
(whisper whisper whisper)
"Oh. Well. Right then. Let's find the caverns."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on March 10, 2011, 09:47:12 pm
Made some hand-sized elbow spurs for a creature and forgot to make them out of anything. By the time I realised this blatant error I'd boosted the spurs considerably to get more kills from the arena mode combatants.

The resulting fountain of limbs was quite amusing to watch, even if it was over as quickly as a fireworks display.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kit temple on March 10, 2011, 10:28:40 pm
I once released a cage animal, A whole mess of them during an invasion..Good news was The miner caste surrived!,Bad news being i had to cave in the only entrance and now there trapped around groud with...something from the pits of the world..*cue dramatic music where dwarven miners are fighting to the death!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PCpaste on March 11, 2011, 07:22:39 am
The first few weeks of playing DF when I didn't know about how to make drinks, and everyone was going on tantrums because they didn't get their wine.

Also when I got two years int oa fortress and forgot that I started to make a farm. Yeah, that was... That was.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on March 11, 2011, 01:58:10 pm
I just spent... I don't know... six months to a year with over half my dwarves burrowed inside my fortress after an ambush. I didn't realize until the next ambush that the burrow was still there. The migrants who arrived afterwards were the only ones allowed outside. That kind of explains how freaking unproductive this year was.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Genoraven on March 12, 2011, 01:39:21 am
Quote from: twwolfe on March 10, 2011, 12:58:26 am
Quote from: Genoraven on March 09, 2011, 11:00:09 pm
Quote from: Flying Dice on March 09, 2011, 08:41:50 pm
I recently found out that the upright cotton candy stick hidden in certain maps shows up on the screen for linking upright spears to levers...
Stop that. No more clown references.

Bit late for that, old chap. clownite has entered the DF lexicon, and it has stuck
What if i said please?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: iyaerP on March 12, 2011, 03:07:06 am
I just embarked to a terrifying desert with only one military dorf.

He and the miner are the only survivors of the starting seven, both having a tantrum contest in the depths while the dozen skeleton camels chase my geese around the map.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dutchling on March 12, 2011, 10:52:51 am
Quote from: iyaerP on March 12, 2011, 03:07:06 am
I just embarked to a terrifying desert with only one military dorf.

He and the miner are the only survivors of the starting seven, both having a tantrum contest in the depths while the dozen skeleton camels chase my geese around the map.

Why is that a facepalm moment? seemspretty natural to me
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on March 12, 2011, 12:56:33 pm
Well, this one had me facepalming a good bit. My Duke decided to throw a tantrum. I decided to figure out why. Apparently, he was traumatized by a lesser's burial arrangements. ... This was odd because I had been very careful to prevent this from happening... Well, I guess not careful enough... It turns out that one of my mass graves has an artifact coffin in it valuable enough to be a stand alone Royal Tomb. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naryar on March 12, 2011, 06:01:56 pm
Quote from: EmeraldWind on March 12, 2011, 12:56:33 pm
Well, this one had me facepalming a good bit. My Duke decided to throw a tantrum. I decided to figure out why. Apparently, he was traumatized by a lesser's burial arrangements. ... This was odd because I had been very careful to prevent this from happening... Well, I guess not careful enough... It turns out that one of my mass graves has an artifact coffin in it valuable enough to be a stand alone Royal Tomb.

Nobles are useless, period.

Well not actually useless since my baron still mines, engraves and even fights in the military... but he was less annoying as expedition leader, you know.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on March 12, 2011, 10:35:36 pm
A facepalm of relief. The Goblin Civil War going on lead to 3 ambushes at once lasting about ten seconds. The only Goblin who eventually tried to attack got snapped up in a cage trap.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pukako on March 13, 2011, 05:04:08 am
Burrow down to find shiny stuff - find it! Praise the Miners.

Then blame the miners who tunnel into magma, and then all die before I can get any shiny stuff....

Blame me, as I don't really know how to work DFliquids, and the replacement miners drown before being consumed by magma.  Throw in the start of a tantrum spiral, a Vile Force of Darkness, an out-of-date warren, and 105 dwarves are now down to 50 in a little over 6 minutes.

Wow... 37...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: B4brilliant on March 13, 2011, 10:49:02 pm
I accidentally promoted my legendary swordsdwarf to captain of the guard in my last fort. I had never had one, and had started ignoring mandates 3 years prior. He immediately started administering "beatings" with his *adamantine shortsword* starting in a dining hall where a wedding was taking place. body parts flying everywhere before I figured out what was going on. D'oh
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doradan on March 13, 2011, 11:14:58 pm
Not even 10 minutes into my very first game (earlier this evening in fact) and I realized that I had put my dorfs right next to a goblin fortress... I didn't even have time to figure out how to move those damn yaks and wagons into the little navel i had carved into the side of a hill...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bobhayes on March 13, 2011, 11:21:50 pm
Quote from: B4brilliant on March 13, 2011, 10:49:02 pm
I accidentally promoted my legendary swordsdwarf to captain of the guard in my last fort. I had never had one, and had started ignoring mandates 3 years prior. He immediately started administering "beatings" with his *adamantine shortsword* starting in a dining hall where a wedding was taking place. body parts flying everywhere before I figured out what was going on. D'oh

Beautiful. I can't wait to see the engravings of Urist McJobshirker being decapitated at the wedding.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: B4brilliant on March 14, 2011, 02:34:47 am
Quote from: bobhayes on March 13, 2011, 11:21:50 pm
Quote from: B4brilliant on March 13, 2011, 10:49:02 pm
I accidentally promoted my legendary swordsdwarf to captain of the guard in my last fort. I had never had one, and had started ignoring mandates 3 years prior. He immediately started administering "beatings" with his *adamantine shortsword* starting in a dining hall where a wedding was taking place. body parts flying everywhere before I figured out what was going on. D'oh

Beautiful. I can't wait to see the engravings of Urist McJobshirker being decapitated at the wedding.

Oh there won't be any. He didn't stop immediately after I moved him to a different squad, so much death. eventually he took over a craft workshop and started demanding nonexistent shells or something. went Beserk, killed my military of 25 and all 30ish dwarfs I could throw at him who weren't tantruming/crying in their rooms/generally being crazy. eventually i locked him in a room with an intended victim, set everyone to mining and managed to channel the volcano into the room with him with some migrants who weren't quite insane yet.

I abandoned as eventuallyall of my last 5 dwarfs were lying legless in a stairwell being gnawed to death by drunians.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bobhayes on March 14, 2011, 02:49:18 am
Quote from: B4brilliant on March 14, 2011, 02:34:47 am
Oh there won't be any. He didn't stop immediately after I moved him to a different squad, so much death. eventually he took over a craft workshop and started demanding nonexistent shells or something. went Beserk, killed my military of 25 and all 30ish dwarfs I could throw at him who weren't tantruming/crying in their rooms/generally being crazy. eventually i locked him in a room with an intended victim, set everyone to mining and managed to channel the volcano into the room with him with some migrants who weren't quite insane yet.

I abandoned as eventuallyall of my last 5 dwarfs were lying legless in a stairwell being gnawed to death by drunians.

Best wedding ever!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxy15 on March 14, 2011, 01:12:01 pm
Axedorf was fighting a gazelle and dodged into a river.
He drowned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on March 14, 2011, 09:42:43 pm
Modded carnivore race needs [NO_EAT][NO_DRINK] to survive worldgen.  Been playing a fortress for 3 years wondering why nobody ever used the dining room before I realize that I forgot to comment it out in the save before actually playing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doradan on March 14, 2011, 10:55:30 pm
After finally getting my act together, I've put together a good start to a fortress... except when i accidentally strand my two miners down a z-level, and they can't mine their way back up, and they have both of the picks i brought with me with them, so yeah... re-load time.

Again.

I'm having lots of Fun now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bobhayes on March 14, 2011, 11:09:47 pm
Quote from: Doradan on March 14, 2011, 10:55:30 pm
After finally getting my act together, I've put together a good start to a fortress... except when i accidentally strand my two miners down a z-level, and they can't mine their way back up, and they have both of the picks i brought with me with them, so yeah... re-load time.

Barring some very weird geography, that should not be possible.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Argonnek on March 14, 2011, 11:22:27 pm
A while ago, I really, really needed booze and couldn't make enough to satisfy my thirsty dwarves. I resolved to buy out the caravan, but couldn't remember what they asked for the previous year. (I obsess over what I trade, making sure I give them what they ordered.)

So I'm scrambling to remember what they wanted, scepters? chains? prepared meals? I then check the civ screen, hit tab to get to the trade deals section, and I hit enter. It showed me the screen of what they ordered. It was so obvious that I literally smacked myself.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jeoshua on March 14, 2011, 11:51:12 pm
Wondering why my dwarven atom smasher isn't working... then realizing there is such a thing as a "retractable bridge" and a "raisable bridge"

 ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: varnish on March 14, 2011, 11:56:00 pm
You'd think I'd have learned by now that you shouldn't have a dwarf channel out the space directly beneath where he's standing... when the next tile is about 6 z-levels down.

One memorial slab, coming right up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on March 15, 2011, 09:50:16 am
Tried to throw a giant bat down my goblin execution pit.

Hint: It didn't work.

P.S. And then the damn thing manages to completely outmanuver my entire military and flee the map.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on March 15, 2011, 06:48:39 pm
"The Forgotten Beast Aste has come! a gigantic three-eyed hummingbird. It has a short horn and it squirms and fidgits. It's lavender blush feathers are patchy. Beware its poisonous bite!"

A big, purple hummingbird with three eyes. I'm not surprised it hasn't earned a longer name. It's too embaressed to show it's face to anybody.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Keldane on March 15, 2011, 07:10:22 pm
Not to mention, it has patchy feathers and a short horn. It's a balding, purple, three-eyed hummingbird, probably with inadequacy issues.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on March 15, 2011, 07:18:46 pm
As if to prove my point, it disappeared as soon as it arrived, likely crying in shame.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ria Hawk on March 16, 2011, 04:31:19 am
.... Such a shame it wasn't cycloptic.

Then it would be a One-Eyed, One-Horned Flying Purple People Eater.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joshua IX on March 16, 2011, 07:23:12 am
The first fort I've gone to the trouble of fulfilling the capital requirements. Built huge rooms decorated with all things sliver for the king.

Waited excitedly...

'The king has arrived'

oooh where???

...
...
...

The King is dead isn't he...
*palm --> face*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PCpaste on March 16, 2011, 08:30:27 am
When my miner fell down a future waterfall, and broke his arm splattering blood EVERYWHERE. This waterfall was, of course, linked to the underground lake on the first cave level, in which I set up my entire fortress. I was about ready to seal off the fortress, but I needed a waterfall first.


Stupid dwarves and their darn bloody arms...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on March 16, 2011, 12:27:25 pm
Quote from: Ria Hawk on March 16, 2011, 04:31:19 am
.... Such a shame it wasn't cycloptic.

Then it would be a One-Eyed, One-Horned Flying Purple People Eater.

I was really hoping somebody would make that joke.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ria Hawk on March 16, 2011, 04:54:22 pm
Quote from: Samuel on March 16, 2011, 12:27:25 pm
Quote from: Ria Hawk on March 16, 2011, 04:31:19 am
.... Such a shame it wasn't cycloptic.

Then it would be a One-Eyed, One-Horned Flying Purple People Eater.

I was really hoping somebody would make that joke.

I am happy to be of service.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on March 17, 2011, 01:44:41 pm
I just learned about the existance of kennels. This is why I have never tamed an animal before, or even ever had a war dog.

On the plus side, I happened to find out when I have a good dozen caged reindeer, so I can get a good breeding stock going.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: schussel on March 18, 2011, 06:14:02 am
Quote from: Samuel on March 17, 2011, 01:44:41 pm
I just learned about the existance of kennels. This is why I have never tamed an animal before, or even ever had a war dog.

On the plus side, I happened to find out when I have a good dozen caged reindeer, so I can get a good breeding stock going.

if they dont kick each other to death first :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on March 18, 2011, 03:49:09 pm
I just had a decent success in a manner of speaking, but I had facepalm for the sake of the poor dumb goblin.

I just took advantage of a way to divert the goblins down the longer hallway as opposed to the shorter one my dwarves use.
I used a pressure plate and hatch combination to trick them. I had to facepalm when I saw my plan brilliantly succeed, honestly I actually had a list of ways this could go wrong. It was rather satisfying to see the goblins stop in their tracks.

Goblins: Hmmm... there's a hole here now. We can't cross this... RECALCULATING... Ah, there's some steps over here.

So much for the Goblin's Position Sense.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Johuotar on March 18, 2011, 05:03:36 pm
Built a wall -> Flying monsters attacked

Built a bridge -> forgot to link it to lever

Built cage traps -> Didn't know they work on colossus, drafted all dorfs to militia -> All but 1 crazy dorf died, who was inside. Colossus moves in to the fort and is captured in cage trap. Fort is saved, but crazy dorf dies of dehydration.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tree-puncher423 on March 18, 2011, 09:43:25 pm
accidentally enabling the "gather refuse from outdoors" in a mtter of seconds my 20x45 ladfill was filled! ZOMG fail lol!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: B4brilliant on March 19, 2011, 01:35:52 am
Quote from: Johuotar on March 18, 2011, 05:03:36 pm
Built a wall -> Flying monsters attacked

lol, been there before. after building a giant wall around my fishing/farming/wild unicorn corral. "a mountain titan has come!" I chuckle, raise the drawbridge and send in my archers. I check the description: "a massive dove with three eyes...." hmmmm. slaughter
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hammerstar on March 19, 2011, 10:42:36 pm
One of my early fortresses, I tried to dig the pit under my drawbridge from the bottom up. I facepalmed when two legendary miners were buried in the cave in.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on March 20, 2011, 05:29:59 pm
Armoursmith (well, suturer with armoursmith skill) just got a mood, which made me excited. I set up forbidding so that he used steel for the base and then shiny metals for decorations... but changed around too quickly and ended up with electrum as the base. Ah well, I thought, it's probably a crap base material but an artifact preastplate or helmet would still be awesome. So I wait...

and wait...

and wait...

Quote
Uvash Zefonsat, Suturer has created Avanabir [Lyricromances], an electrum shoe!

*headdesk*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tree-puncher423 on March 20, 2011, 05:47:18 pm
note-to-self: always use a magma-proof floodgate when making a moat LOL!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tree-puncher423 on March 20, 2011, 06:07:33 pm
Quote from: tree-puncher423 on March 20, 2011, 05:47:18 pm
note-to-self: always use a magma-proof floodgate when making a moat LOL!
wait i got another! having a miasma buildup in the mine because your idiot jewler dwarf stuffed a rotting water buffalo corpse into a garbage dump used to get rid of waste stone and clay... stupid little green smiley -_-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Karnewarrior on March 20, 2011, 08:41:23 pm
Try not to double post, mate. It spams the thread and irritates the other members.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: daishi5 on March 20, 2011, 11:49:17 pm
When building an emergency fortress flooding device, build the floodgates that keep the water contained until the right time, the all clear drainage system, and the bridges used to seal your emergency shelter before completing the pumping system that floods the fortress. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on March 21, 2011, 10:29:14 am
Arg... I've been trying to place a trap for a while now... but for some reason there is this single sock sitting there... can't build the trap with that sock the way... nope.  I try dumping the sock, but it sits there mocking me. I hate you sock.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on March 21, 2011, 10:38:20 am
Quote from: EmeraldWind on March 21, 2011, 10:29:14 am
Arg... I've been trying to place a trap for a while now... but for some reason there is this single sock sitting there... can't build the trap with that sock the way... nope.  I try dumping the sock, but it sits there mocking me. I hate you sock.

Is the sock outside? I always have problems dumping things that are outside.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bobhayes on March 21, 2011, 10:48:01 am
Quote from: EmeraldWind on March 21, 2011, 10:29:14 am
Arg... I've been trying to place a trap for a while now... but for some reason there is this single sock sitting there... can't build the trap with that sock the way... nope.  I try dumping the sock, but it sits there mocking me. I hate you sock.

One of your dwarves owns it. If s/he's alive, you can try giving all your dwarves cabinets in their bedrooms, and s/he MIGHT eventually come for it. But probably not.

Best way is to channel out the tile and let the problem drop a level. You can build a floor on the hole and then build your trap on the floor.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 21, 2011, 11:38:14 am
Urist McDwarf has been unhappy lately. He lost a sock to tragedy recently.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on March 21, 2011, 12:20:50 pm
Quote from: bobhayes on March 21, 2011, 10:48:01 am
Quote from: EmeraldWind on March 21, 2011, 10:29:14 am
Arg... I've been trying to place a trap for a while now... but for some reason there is this single sock sitting there... can't build the trap with that sock the way... nope.  I try dumping the sock, but it sits there mocking me. I hate you sock.

One of your dwarves owns it. If s/he's alive, you can try giving all your dwarves cabinets in their bedrooms, and s/he MIGHT eventually come for it. But probably not.

Best way is to channel out the tile and let the problem drop a level. You can build a floor on the hole and then build your trap on the floor.

...This is exactly what the problem is. A dwarf claims he owns the darn thing. Well... at least I know why. Thanks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zyuta on March 21, 2011, 05:01:24 pm
Never looked at any tutorials until I was fed up at the annoying gameplay. I tried building a early wall from rocksalt. Oh yeah, you can build a wall out of something like that. Perfect sense. I was digging a moat and suddenly I discover a cavern! You know whats in the cavern? A forgotten beast. Which for whatever reason was magma proof because magma started flooding into my moat. Oh did I mention that the forgotten beast could breathe fire, fly, do critical hits on every attack, AND know where all my dwarves are?

... On another note it would be nice if somebody explained to me how I'm supposed to change my view up/down a z layer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xtank5 on March 21, 2011, 05:21:56 pm
Up and down are '<' and '>'.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Braindead on March 21, 2011, 08:17:08 pm
Just found a human in my worldgen with over 600 kills, half of that elves. Wanted to write a little story about her but I accidentally genned the world with culling turned on. Attempts to regen failed miserably.

Damn modding habit...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ancre on March 22, 2011, 11:19:28 am
I finally opened the caverns ... at level -50. Turns out I dug one stone square next to it for about twenty levels while trying to find it. Ugh. Well at least I have cavern floor at level -50 and I can now search for water ... I hope I won't find the magma sea before that !
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Draxis on March 22, 2011, 03:33:48 pm
Farming lots of Dimple Cups, because for some reason I thought they could be used for wood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scaraban on March 22, 2011, 04:12:49 pm
Quote from: Draxis on March 22, 2011, 03:33:48 pm
Farming lots of Dimple Cups, because for some reason I thought they could be used for wood.
...hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
sorry I LMAO
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Loof on March 22, 2011, 06:38:23 pm
Just realized gobbos with croc mounts still can swim, and went straight down into the murky pool supplying the well in my meeting hall. My militia was on the other side of the fortress, dealing with the land-locked invaders. Much fun ensued.

This'll hopefully teach me to use floor bars.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kaenneth on March 22, 2011, 07:23:12 pm
Accidently hitting the 'u' key...

Any other top-level commands that arn't listed?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on March 22, 2011, 08:12:47 pm
Quote from: EmeraldWind on March 21, 2011, 10:29:14 am
but for some reason there is this single sock sitting there... can't build the trap with that sock the way... nope.
Dwarves will move owned objects in order to build things. As with any object on a building site, it must be unforbidden and able to be moved orthogonally.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spyton on March 23, 2011, 10:28:12 am
specificaly choosing volcanoe for easy magma forge access, then realizing i didnt even check to see if there were any metals in the map, and not having found any.....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on March 23, 2011, 10:31:32 am
Spent some time digging a flush trap, using water to knock enemies into a colossus pit. Finally I dug up to the aquifer for the water supply...

... and went all the way to the surface without striking water. Turns out the 2Z thick aquifer that caused me so much trouble on embark only covers half the map!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xordae on March 23, 2011, 11:51:06 am
Sent a squad to fight a forgotten beast, and in its wake follow half a dozen children that happily run into the spreading fire to die. At some point it's just not quaint anymore. I need a break.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gordy on March 24, 2011, 03:56:20 am
I have two FP's

1. Not realising until now (after playing DF for years) that I could build aboveground crops belowground so long as I channeled out above them. There goes all my frustration at not being able to place nice, regularly shaped gardens aboveground (because of rocks, boulders and trees)

2. My latest version magma pipe discovered and now is draining into the magma sea ~ 50 levels below.. I liked that magma on the surface and its slowly draining away!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rangarkash on March 24, 2011, 10:49:58 am
Build a long narrow corridor of spike traps and forget to add a trigger.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 24, 2011, 12:39:43 pm
Quote from: gordy on March 24, 2011, 03:56:20 am
2. My latest version magma pipe discovered and now is draining into the magma sea ~ 50 levels below.. I liked that magma on the service and its slowly draining away!

Does your map have large elevation changes?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gordy on March 24, 2011, 04:23:20 pm

Quote

Does your map have large elevation changes?

You could say that. The majority is flat and wet but the volcano extends aboveground about 12 z. The mama was just under the surface when the map started and has been slowly draining away ever since. The volcano is kinda squareish so it might cross a biomedical 


Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on March 24, 2011, 05:01:15 pm
Everybody from my 7 is weak, clumsy and without willpower. And the most social of them likes adamantine.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 24, 2011, 05:54:43 pm
Quote from: gordy on March 24, 2011, 04:23:20 pm

Quote

Does your map have large elevation changes?

You could say that. The majority is flat and wet but the volcano extends aboveground about 12 z. The mama was just under the surface when the map started and has been slowly draining away ever since. The volcano is kinda squareish so it might cross a biomedical

Actually, your magma sea is quite possibly draining off into some special features due to a glitch with map generation.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on March 24, 2011, 06:26:41 pm
Is it normal to have a groom of a night creature as a king? I just got an artifact that told me one of my civ's kings was the groom of a shadow woman...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Keldane on March 24, 2011, 09:56:23 pm
Quote from: EmeraldWind on March 24, 2011, 06:26:41 pm
Is it normal to have a groom of a night creature as a king? I just got an artifact that told me one of my civ's kings was the groom of a shadow woman...
This issue has been discussed previously, and if memory serves, it stems from the fact that after a creature is converted by a night creature, all historical references to them change to reference their new state.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: krenshala on March 26, 2011, 12:35:22 am
Quote from: EmeraldWind on March 24, 2011, 06:26:41 pm
Is it normal to have a groom of a night creature as a king? I just got an artifact that told me one of my civ's kings was the groom of a shadow woman...
From what I've seen in Legends Mode, your civ should have "hired" a new king the year after that one became the shadow woman's husband.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on March 26, 2011, 09:35:10 am
Never mix bows and crossbows in a squad. I did just that to make use of the artifact bow one of my dwarves made, and now all my marksdwarves are armed with arrows and the bowdwarf has bolts...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flying Dice on March 26, 2011, 12:54:20 pm
Embarked on a major river, everything is going fine. The first wave of immigrants shows up on the other side of the river. Fine, I think, I'll build a bridge for them. This follows:

Dice: "Okay beardy, build that bridge!"
Urist McCowardMason: "Agh! A capybara!"
Urist McCowardMason Cancels Construct Building: Interrupted by Capybara! x1000
Urist McImmigrant Cancels Sleep: Interrupted by Capybara! x1000

The worst part? There are about a dozen of the little bastards just sitting on the riverbed right below my aborted bridge. Time to dig a tunnel below the river before the immigrants die of dehydration or carp, I guess.

EDIT: Literally, to the second, the moment my tunnel was completed, they all left the map. That's it, I'm damming the river and setting up a permanent extermination squad.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shootandrun on March 26, 2011, 01:49:46 pm
I just upgraded to the new version (I was from 3.18). Because I thinked there would no really good metals, I have a region without flux nor magma.

I just dug out a 50x50 space. There is ONLY magnetite in here. Seriously. No kidding.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 26, 2011, 01:52:38 pm
You have magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grax on March 26, 2011, 01:54:03 pm
Or not.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eoganachta on March 26, 2011, 04:19:18 pm
My lonely soapmaker, Eshtan Zanegshalig, died while hunting the dreaded Capybara. She shot the thing full of bolts before the beast closed, and she then leaped out of the way and right into the crater of an open volcano to escape.
I looked at her description and she 'was' extremely clumsy and has good creativity. Both played a role in her demise.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on March 27, 2011, 03:58:20 am
Due to many many "encrust with gems" orders and a lack of object control, I now have a wooden crutch worth 7900 dwarfbucks and pimped out with more bling than a rap convention. Meh, at least it'll sell well.

I also have run into, let us say, complications with pots and prepared food. Long story short, I have upwards of 5000 prepared meals in one pot. It is the single most valuable thing in my fortress as a result. The only problem is that I can no longer make most of my trade in dwarven syrup/cheese/whip wine/quarry bush roasts, and must deal in crafts instead. Lamentations and woe, I do not believe I can stand this state of affairs.[/sarcasm]
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jeoshua on March 27, 2011, 04:51:33 am
Selling food is undwarvenly anyways.

Take what you can, give nuthin back.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on March 27, 2011, 06:18:18 am
When the first part of the magma pump stack was powered but didn't actually pump any magma, I was concerned. I checked the lowermost pump.
I had somehow built each pump the wrong way.
*FACEPALM* Do I still deserve to play with magma with such a bout of stupidity?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on March 27, 2011, 01:59:48 pm
Quote from: Jeoshua on March 27, 2011, 04:51:33 am
Selling food is undwarvenly anyways.

Take what you can, give nuthin back.
Well, yes, but I have 5000 food and 80 dwarves. I could easily shut off trade with the outside world, living on nothing but what I have, and still have food for years yet. My fortresses are always self-sufficient and can generally make everything except certain metals, leathers, and fabrics, which I must import, and food is an extremely mass/cost-efficient trade good, especially because I have lots of it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on March 27, 2011, 02:03:06 pm
Quote from: darthbob88 on March 27, 2011, 01:59:48 pm
Quote from: Jeoshua on March 27, 2011, 04:51:33 am
Selling food is undwarvenly anyways.

Take what you can, give nuthin back.
Well, yes, but I have 5000 food and 80 dwarves. I could easily shut off trade with the outside world, living on nothing but what I have, and still have food for years yet. My fortresses are always self-sufficient and can generally make everything except certain metals, leathers, and fabrics, which I must import, and food is an extremely mass/cost-efficient trade good, especially because I have lots of it.
Just keep it. You will need it when your dwarves start partying  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naryar on March 27, 2011, 03:13:56 pm
My armorer just had a fey mood and went legendary.

Then gets out for some reason, and gets killed by a goblin ambush that was going quite well, cause my woodworker tends to take itself for a hero, attack 10 goblins at once and win. Because I forgot to assign dwarves to burrows.

I let out a powerful growl of frustration, then quit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Orkel on March 27, 2011, 05:01:40 pm
When I unleashed a barrage of adamantine bolts upon siegers only to find out they bounce off clothing thanks being so ridiculously light.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flying Dice on March 27, 2011, 05:12:23 pm
Sending out my elite axedwarf squad to clear out the monthly infestations of badgermen, only to have them decide that rather than attack, they should scatter their armor and weapons all over the landscape.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MythagoWoods on March 27, 2011, 05:35:56 pm
Quote from: Flying Dice on March 27, 2011, 05:12:23 pm
Sending out my elite axedwarf squad to clear out the monthly infestations of badgermen, only to have them decide that rather than attack, they should scatter their armor and weapons all over the landscape.

So... they smothered the badgermen to death by sheer dwarfiness rather then rely on silly things like "Armor" and "Weapons"?

Also I have my Nuclear Wardog lever there for a reason.  To occupy the sieges when they decide to bumrush my main entrance.  I lost several good, see utterly useless, dwarves in the recent siege thanks to you refusing to do your one and only job Mr. Lever Puller.  I hope you're happy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxy15 on March 28, 2011, 03:34:44 am
I linked a lever to a drawbridge with weak mechanics.
A farmer pulled the lever and ran onto the bridge, and then fell down 3 Z-Levels and had all his bones crushed.
He died.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kardwill on March 28, 2011, 05:18:30 am
While building my current fortress, I left a whole z-level alone for the future noble quarters.
On this map, despite extensive exploratory mining, I found only copper (much), flux (a crapton), and a single vein of hematite.
I struggled for three years, using leather armors, and scraping every bit of iron and steel from the merchants and the goblins.
Yesterday, I finally opened the noble level to construction.
There's Iron EVERYWHERE! The whole 15x25 zone I designed for the mead-hall's upper floor is inside a giant magnetite cluster.

For three years, I sent my soldiers to their death in leather and copper armor, and I was sitting on iron-valhalla the whole time.  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Valdrax on March 28, 2011, 07:51:36 pm
I just wrote up a long (hopefully witty) set of stories about my experiences in 5 fortresses in .21 & .22 and just had it all wiped out by my hotel's wi-fi login screen while trying to post.  *face palm*

To summarize, things that caused a face palm:

1.1)  Animals will die without being put in pasture despite copious vegetation because they are too stupid to feed themselves without being told to.
1.2)  Dwarves you decide to deliberately let starve in hopes of using their work to lay the ground for your "real" embark team don't die; they just work slower while useless migrants pile up.
1.3)  Letting 60-odd dwarves die by abandoning a fortress creates 2-3 years of hauling labors just to put everything back together.  Mostly thanks to clothes.
1.4)  Letting 60-odd dwarves die without creating a bunch of coffins first leaves a place a wee bit haunted.
1.5)  Dwarves too busy to pay attention to a room with nest boxes for 10 turkeys will fuel the creation of a blood-spattered turkeydrome filled with hundreds of murderous baby birds that will come rampaging in a rage out of their pasture to hound down their chosen victim and who have to all be herded back in. 

(On the bright side, I did find the bloody corpse of a honey badger in the doorway to the room at one point.  I promptly named him "Link.")

2.1)  While turkeys crank out an impressive number of eggs, eggs seemingly cannot substitute for bringing plump helmets and farming.  I tried to correct this enthusiastic oversight while all my dwarves were starving, but they were too busy scrounging for vermin to farm.  I found out 3 years later that the reason they were starving is because eggs (unlike meat) have to be cooked.
2.2)  Then I found out that the whole reason I did this -- to avoid irrigating underground soil in 2010 -- is no longer an issue.

3.1)  I carved a too long magma pipe from the topmost level of a volcano to your sand/clay furnaces 2/3 of the way across the map and found out it would have taken 5-7 years to fill if ever thanks to magma evaporation.
3.2)  I made it worse by accidentally creating a 2 level reservoir through stairs underneath the tube.

4)  I embarked on a perfect site with nearly perfect dwarves after 4 hours of world gen and searching (sand, clay, shallow & deep metals, only 3 Z-levels of hills to keep track of, a volcano, no aquifer, and a waterfall) only to find out that the bottom of the volcano has holes in it that emptied into hell as I watched all that effort drain away as the surviving demons bided their time, as the joke goes, to tell me that the dog wasn't that shaggy.

5.1)  I dug a channel from the river all the way to the first level of the caverns so that I could have an opulent dining room / meeting hall with a waterfall in it only to find 1 year later that the growth of cave grasses had completely choked off the stairs I used to drain the water and left the bottom of my fortress flooded with no way to fix the bottom of the pipe 7 Z-levels below.
5.2)  Then I found out the next morning that Toady One fixed the bug that caused grasses to clog stairs and released a fix the Friday before I had started the fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rushmik on March 28, 2011, 08:11:16 pm
Aha, I have one! I've been playing for a good month or two now and I only learnt yesterday how to assign function key shortcuts.

No more scrolling from the surface to the magma sea! :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dantrithor on March 29, 2011, 04:28:56 am
I had the luck of having a rather good metalcrafter from my first inmigrant wave. I was happily making gold items (later to be encrusted with gems) them being worth over 1,500 dwarfbucks -each- (compared with my pityful old forts, selling stonecrafts for 60DB each at most).

The second caravan came after I had begun making those golden crafts. Right when they began unloading, this message shows up:

"Goden Adildesis WeaponsmitherO has imposed a ban on certain exports"

Yes. He banned exports of any gold items. Unfortunately most of my steel income comes from THAT caravan... still trying to decide what to do. Grrr... He's a legendary+5 weaponsmither who is making copper bolts like mad, so I'd rather not murder him. Nor any other dwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 29, 2011, 04:30:45 am
Ignore the export ban, sell them, dissolve the justice system before they leave the map.

Dissolve can mean whatever you want it to mean, which may be bad for your sheriff/captain of the guard.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dantrithor on March 29, 2011, 04:33:11 am
*Facepalm* I didn't notice I don't have any kind of justice system yet. Not prisons, not captain of the guard, not anything. Will the crimes be carried over for when I get a captain of the guard imposed?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 29, 2011, 04:47:15 am
Yes, so make a huge prison ASAP. Gold chains would work very well at negating the unhappy thought from being locked up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Angel Of Death on March 29, 2011, 07:18:41 am
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on March 29, 2011, 04:47:15 am
Yes, so make a huge prison ASAP. Gold chains would work very well at negating the unhappy thought from being locked up.
'Yo 'yo 'yo I'm Urist McSmith!

In here for violating a mandate made by a noble piece of shit!

Got my gold chain, hammerer causing me pain, in here with no gain...

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on March 29, 2011, 02:44:06 pm
Speaking noble piece of shit, my baroness is currently very unhappy. Despite the deaths and maimings from the goblins recently, she isn't greaving anyone. Get this- the single reason (besides a snow storm) she's in a bad mood? "She has been utterly traumatized by a lesser's pretentious sleeping arrangements lately."

Keep in mind, All my nobles get the same thing, 3x3 rooms, all engraved, with furniture requirements as necessary. She's verging on a mental breakdown because somebody else's room is exactly as nice as her's!

Or, in retrospect, it could be the mayor's artifact armor stand. But the room it's in isn't even engraved!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrAnderson on March 29, 2011, 03:02:06 pm
just had one: 4 years into a fort, decent defending strategy (including dodge-this-walkway into a volcano with serrated steel disks, with magma-washer to clean the dirt out of the traps if they are clogged).
invasion, nothing special, trolls and goblins. i let some gobbos in through my outer bridge to get them sliced, marksmen stay in barracks. as they are marching towards the traps, i see a single marksdorf rushing towards them (note: outside of the burrow). as soon as he reaches them, he enters a martial trance. i think, "nice, that'll teach 'em". i wanted to check, if he got the copper xbow i assigned to the military, but then i saw, he was only holding an "iron shield"...   -.-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uristocrat on March 29, 2011, 04:49:35 pm
Quote from: Dantrithor on March 29, 2011, 04:28:56 am
I had the luck of having a rather good metalcrafter from my first inmigrant wave. I was happily making gold items (later to be encrusted with gems) them being worth over 1,500 dwarfbucks -each- (compared with my pityful old forts, selling stonecrafts for 60DB each at most).

The second caravan came after I had begun making those golden crafts. Right when they began unloading, this message shows up:

"Goden Adildesis WeaponsmitherO has imposed a ban on certain exports"

Yes. He banned exports of any gold items. Unfortunately most of my steel income comes from THAT caravan... still trying to decide what to do. Grrr... He's a legendary+5 weaponsmither who is making copper bolts like mad, so I'd rather not murder him. Nor any other dwarf.

I think that legendaries are exempt from justice.  Some other poor sod will likely get blamed instead.  I suggest teaching the mayor to do some metalcrafting, in the hopes that they order themselves beaten.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on March 29, 2011, 05:23:34 pm
You don't need to teach them, just enable them as the only metalcrafter and they'll decide to have themselves punished.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scaraban on March 29, 2011, 06:07:33 pm
I didn't think it mattered if the punished had anything to do with the "crime"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: psychologicalshock on March 29, 2011, 06:14:35 pm
I used a lake as a natural barrier on a map that freezes... The only saving grace when goblins attacked was that I had a ton of animals to occupy them while my crossbowmen rained down on them and my regulars woke up to go deal with the ambush.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HoleyDam on March 29, 2011, 09:17:07 pm
I embarked on an ocean map, and planned on making a reservoir so I designated some trees to be cut for screw pumps. I also had a carpenter work on beds at the same time, and eventually I see '____ canceled job: Needs logs' or something like that. I go back to the trees I designated and not one had been cut down because I forgot to bring an axe.

(Thankfully this was early enough to where I could just abandon and reclaim)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on March 29, 2011, 09:41:04 pm
One version of an unpleasantly common bug I'm getting: Not every civilization in every genned world has everything. Then I get places like this:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I repeat, no anvils, no booze. One wonders how dwarves can live under those conditions.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on March 29, 2011, 09:53:57 pm
I've heard that dwarves will always have steel anvils, so you can probably scrounge up the 300 points for one of those.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on March 29, 2011, 10:04:54 pm
Civs will always have access to alloys, so long as they have access to the reaction that produces the alloy (and the result isn't DEEP_SPECIAL). From there they can make the stuff that's allowed by the tags in the metal entry, so yeah, there will always be steel anvils.

It looks as though you have no underground... does this happen even without altering the number of cavern layers?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sjotrik on March 30, 2011, 11:15:47 am
Well, this might be my very first facepalm in this game. ^^


I have to struggle with one stupid weaver that stands IN the food stockpile, and starve himself because "there is no path" to the food.
*FACEPALM*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Karnewarrior on March 30, 2011, 02:26:24 pm
Quote from: Sjotrik on March 30, 2011, 11:15:47 am
Well, this might be my very first facepalm in this game. ^^


I have to struggle with one stupid weaver that stands IN the food stockpile, and starve himself because "there is no path" to the food.
*FACEPALM*
I'm imagining him just gnawing on the barrel and complaining about how everyone insists on putting booze in "wooden Elf-lock Chesty things damnit!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xorn on March 30, 2011, 09:37:13 pm
My favorite dwarf miner is told to dig a channel so I have a nice sunny underground garden. Instead of digging like a normal clever person, he digs himself into a corner, and drops himself down a floor. He breaks all of his limbs, and is hospitalized for 8 months.
Unfortunately, I need him to try and dig more channels, and lo and behold he does it again. This time his spine is added in for good measure. He recovers from the hospital, only to die of infection days later, despite dozens of soap filled baths.
Then the world gets a little crazy. Traders show up, so I thought 'Hey, this would be a great time to get rid of those Rhinos I have in cages.' Unfortunately the dwarves take the cages only, leaving 5 Rhinos to rampage about my fortress. My Militia Captain, who is pretty powerful for year 2, has both his legs broken and his left arm smashed. He is left to bleed for two monthes, but somehow through sheer willpower survives and is recovering nicely in my hospital. 2 Craftees and a Military sod later, and I won't be making that mistake again.
Hmm.. What else could happen?
A Giant, that's what. Following normal procedure, my hunters decide to not flee but instead peg him in the tow, doing minimal damage. Starting to panic, since my two hunters died horribly, I decided to send in my Military. Unfortunately, only one dwarf armed with a hammer and his dog go out to face the foe. After some intense dodging, and lots of nothing happening, the dwarf finally connects with his warhammer. After stunning the beast, the dog latches on to the Giants arm, gaining its attention long enough for my dwarf to charge in and destroy the Giants skull.
What a hero.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheDeathMind on March 30, 2011, 11:48:41 pm
Quote from: Karnewarrior on March 30, 2011, 02:26:24 pm
wooden Elf-lock Chesty things

this is hilarious to me for some reason. sigged.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: phoenixuk on March 31, 2011, 06:16:58 am
Nest boxes in courtyard, forgetting that the nearby overhanging cliff allows LOS into the courtyard.
Cue a goblin siege using 6 assorted fowl as target practice for half an hour before they finally kill them all and wander merrily into my tunnel-o-death.

End result, 6 dead birds that look like porcupines, 3 injured dwarves who insisted on trying to retrieve the corpses, and more spare bolts and arrows than i can shake a stick at.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JJtoocool on March 31, 2011, 06:34:02 am
Quote from: Bohandas on January 19, 2011, 07:31:10 pm
Quote from: JJtoocool on January 19, 2011, 10:21:53 am
Working on my "scouts" mod...

Me: HA! Like to see a goblin get past my 300+ cage traps!
Urist McScout: SIR, 400 GOBLINS WILL ARRIVE IN TWO MONTHS!
Me: Well... 100 more traps!
One Month Later
Urist McScout: SIR, IT WAS 500 GOBLINS
Me: Uhhh... wow... Another hundred cage traps?
29 Days Later
Urist McScout: SIR, NEVERMIND, IT WAS A BRONZE COLOSSUS
*Winter is upon you*
FACEPALM
*(mastercraft item) has been stolen by a goblin theif!*
DOUBLE FACEPALM

The mod was abandoned and thrown into the windows version of a DAS.

 ;D Well what do you expect when your scouts eat nothing but mushrooms?...

Mario dose pretty good for himself >_>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sarda on March 31, 2011, 09:59:56 pm
He also eats flowers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on March 31, 2011, 11:10:35 pm
kobolds are somehow resistant to fire. one took a flaming artifact and made with it, dying only at the edge. then another one took it to the other end of the map, again died mere squares from the edge.
then another one took it off-map.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on March 31, 2011, 11:12:05 pm
Quote from: TolyK on March 31, 2011, 11:10:35 pm
kobolds are somehow resistant to fire. one took a flaming artifact and made with it, dying only at the edge. then another one took it to the other end of the map, again died mere squares from the edge.
then another one took it off-map.

Did you have temperature off?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ethicalfive on April 01, 2011, 10:42:26 am
Quote from: HoleyDam on March 29, 2011, 09:17:07 pm
I embarked on an ocean map, and planned on making a reservoir so I designated some trees to be cut for screw pumps. I also had a carpenter work on beds at the same time, and eventually I see '____ canceled job: Needs logs' or something like that. I go back to the trees I designated and not one had been cut down because I forgot to bring an axe.

(Thankfully this was early enough to where I could just abandon and reclaim)
Heh, then you'll facepalm when I tell you that you can break up your wagon for wood and craft a wooden training axe to cut trees down with then :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on April 02, 2011, 04:34:09 am
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on March 31, 2011, 11:12:05 pm
Quote from: TolyK on March 31, 2011, 11:10:35 pm
kobolds are somehow resistant to fire. one took a flaming artifact and made with it, dying only at the edge. then another one took it to the other end of the map, again died mere squares from the edge.
then another one took it off-map.
Did you have temperature off?
No.
Also my FPS is about 1 now (due to grass burning). I had 4 goblin ambushes and my potash maker killed 3 with his fists (combat logs I can't find, pretty sure they were headshots). He's now bedridden for a while, since I have no (good) doctor yet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: phoenixuk on April 02, 2011, 08:03:14 am
Patience, patience... with time the fire will run out of things to burn... hopefully... well, we can hope.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Will_Tuna on April 02, 2011, 08:12:43 am
in the year 2007: Surinder Singh Bajwa, the Deputy Mayor of Delhi, India, was warding off several Rhesus Macaque monkeys at his home and fell from a first-floor balcony, suffering serious head injuries. He later died from his injuries.[170]

True story
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on April 02, 2011, 08:15:08 am
well water isn't working well, i made a burrow, the fire is still going and even on several z-levels (due to the burning kobolds).
also, it seems that some of the grass is igniting again  ???
..
at the above: OMG LOL
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sarda on April 02, 2011, 08:43:53 am
Build walls of magma-safe rock. Flood the world with magma. Then flood it with water. Mine the obsidian.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sjotrik on April 02, 2011, 11:35:32 am
When i found out that holding shift while designating made the cursor move faster. -.-

*FACEPALM*

And when my soldiers lay down all their weapons and armor when they are training.

*FACEPALM*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on April 02, 2011, 12:12:50 pm
Quote from: Sarda on April 02, 2011, 08:43:53 am
Build walls of magma-safe rock. Flood the world with magma. Then flood it with water. Mine the obsidian.
In case you didn't already know... you could make artificial walls of wood or even ice as much as you want, all built walls are magma-safe by design for the time being.
And most natural walls, too, excluding, of course, ice.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sarda on April 02, 2011, 01:02:59 pm
Oh, right. Derp. Brain fart on my part.

Edit: Does this count as a facepalm?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on April 02, 2011, 01:56:33 pm
It most probably does, but I'm not blaming you in the slightest. It took me at least 4 forts to understand the built walls part. And one more for the natural wall part.  :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: utuki on April 02, 2011, 03:13:20 pm
Quote from: TolyK on April 02, 2011, 08:15:08 am
well water isn't working well, i made a burrow, the fire is still going and even on several z-levels (due to the burning kobolds).
also, it seems that some of the grass is igniting again  ???
..
at the above: OMG LOL

drop some water on it using dfhack, worked well for me
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sarda on April 02, 2011, 04:03:47 pm
Quote from: utuki on April 02, 2011, 03:13:20 pm
Quote from: TolyK on April 02, 2011, 08:15:08 am
well water isn't working well, i made a burrow, the fire is still going and even on several z-levels (due to the burning kobolds).
also, it seems that some of the grass is igniting again  ???
..
at the above: OMG LOL

drop some water on it using dfhack, worked well for me
After facepalming over forgetting that walls are immortal, I thought that you could also wall off your fort and see if the fire dies out after burning all the fuel.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on April 03, 2011, 01:30:25 am
Quote from: Sarda on April 02, 2011, 04:03:47 pm
Quote from: utuki on April 02, 2011, 03:13:20 pm
Quote from: TolyK on April 02, 2011, 08:15:08 am
well water isn't working well, i made a burrow, the fire is still going and even on several z-levels (due to the burning kobolds).
also, it seems that some of the grass is igniting again  ???
..
at the above: OMG LOL

drop some water on it using dfhack, worked well for me
After facepalming over forgetting that walls are immortal, I thought that you could also wall off your fort and see if the fire dies out after burning all the fuel.
Well, this fort I challenged myself to use DF without graphics or utilities. hard.
well the fires have died out and sprung back up (grass regrowing  :P) so I'm just in a burrow right now. well I guess I could wall in..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on April 03, 2011, 09:45:39 am
Try channeling across the map a few times, it should limit the fire's ability to spread.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flying Dice on April 03, 2011, 07:05:34 pm
My militia commander: dozens of kills, legendary axedwarf, armor user, striker, fighter and dodger. Decked out in full adamantine armor, including artifact greaves, with a greataxe made from the same. He has been through multiple major battles with no wounds. He is one of the original seven, with a wife, child and is close friends with at least a third of my fortress.

I order him to kill a Giant Badger Boar which was threatening one of my haulers. He is promptly de-limbed and bits of dwarf are strewn across the map.



Yes, I savescummed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sarda on April 03, 2011, 08:01:37 pm
Holy shit, you got a giant badger boar and only sent ONE dorf?!?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jaredus on April 03, 2011, 08:20:45 pm
"Urist McRandomdwarf has become possessed!"

Ok, looks like he's a Bowyer, oh cool! I haven't gotten an artifact weapon before. Need to make sure this goes to a good marksdwarf!
.
.
.
"Urist McRandomdwarf has created Gebzagod, a candlenut bow!"

Welp, guess I better start buying some arrows...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thor on April 03, 2011, 08:27:24 pm
You guys must be having terrible luck.
I only have copper on my map so my first year militia was adorned head to toe in copper plate. Just one dorf, Ast Icefortress managed to defeat an entire herd of the giant badgers, If you have better metals, I don't understand why you're losing ANY dwarves to these foul beasts.

Though when you get mad dwarves activating levers in your Giant badger zoo, with a dollop of Ettin suprise; It's not as easy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Singularity-SRX on April 03, 2011, 08:47:32 pm
Trying to set up a farming area, and forgets to put a floodgate.
My entire fortress is being  slowly slowly flooded.

[edit]
Turns out it was just going to flood part of my main corridoor
Hasn't flooded my fort, and everything is still going along smoothly, so everything's alright.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on April 04, 2011, 01:01:01 am
Quote from: Jaredus on April 03, 2011, 08:20:45 pm
"Urist McRandomdwarf has become possessed!"

Ok, looks like he's a Bowyer, oh cool! I haven't gotten an artifact weapon before. Need to make sure this goes to a good marksdwarf!
.
.
.
"Urist McRandomdwarf has created Gebzagod, a candlenut bow!"

Welp, guess I better start buying some arrows...
I think you just got trolled by a dwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yoink on April 04, 2011, 03:15:54 am
In my fort, two of my earliest artifacts were: A blowgun and a bow. Grr!
So I drafted the losers who made them, and sent them up against forgotten beasts.
They actually both have at least one kill on them, which is pretty cool!... Although both the makers are long dead, now. I think all my starting 7 is dead, my fort has pretty much been just one looong, very fun facepalm moment. :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MonkeyHead on April 04, 2011, 11:11:01 am
2 fey gem cutters BOTH CREATING A PERFECT ROCK CRYSTAL! encrusted WITH ROCK CRYSTAL! they were for my glassworker, you fucking idiots.

Both of you report to the suici... I mean, marksdwarf squad now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RedKing on April 04, 2011, 12:17:53 pm
Had a gorgeous embark with a magma pipe. Only one slight problem, a pretty sizeable aquifer. Was digging out the area to be the magma plumbing for my forges, when I must have hit damp stone.

Crap. Well, ok...evacuate the area and we'll try digging out a different area. Somewhere along the line, I kept trying to fix the problem, and instead made it worse, to where now it was flooding the level above where the forges were going to go. And then flooding into an open passage that overlooked the magma pipe. Okay, I thought...I'll make this work as a quick obsidian generator, and then I can build my forges directly on the cap.

So the waterfall spills out, and according to plan, proceeds to cap the entire thing in obsidian (and revealing the magma layer by way of chunks of fresh obsidian breaking off and sinking 100+ Z-levels before melting completely). Unfortunately, when I tried to wall off the flow, it had already gotten too deep, and my masons refused to work there. Pretty soon, my obsidian-capped magma pipe was at the bottom of a medium-sized lake.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dinkum on April 04, 2011, 12:56:08 pm
Buy Yak from Elves.
See Yak hungry in dining room.
Send Yak to pasture.
Yak dies one step from pasture.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on April 04, 2011, 12:56:55 pm
You'd think a goblin crossbowman and a blind cave ogre would harbor at least a tiny bit of hostility for each other, especially if caged, sealed into a tiny room, then released right next to each other. But they're pretty much just hanging out in there, presumably working together to plot revenge.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Oliolli on April 04, 2011, 01:01:26 pm
"Urist McWeaponsmith enters a strange mood!"

Gathers adamantine, gold, aluminum, silver, platinum, diamonds, silk, elephat bone etc etc etc.

"Urist McWeaponsmith has completed Al Nirmek, a adamantine warhammer"

I hate that guy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist_McArathos on April 04, 2011, 01:40:56 pm
I'd spent four in game years on a .19 embark with, as far as I could tell, no flux or sand.  I scraped by with iron, but only what I could dig up.  There was no fuel or anything, so I busted my ass trying to use my goblinite (which was copper) for traps and begging my liaison for all the flux,sand, and steel he could send, because my iron outfitted soldiers were literally dying by the squad in sieges.  I want to build a glass-ceiling greenhouse, but the project is becoming like a megaproject from the sheer difficulty in acquiring more sand.  After five years I have two squads with full iron and their leaders in steel, and I chase off an ambush that threatened my caravan.

Urist McSquadleader chases a goblin across the map to a tiny corner I missed, and kills him.  I view the area to see if I got silver or copper from this goblin, and what do I see on the ground?

"Chalk".  Three squares away "White sand".  I send in miners to explore the ground below, and find a MASSIVE chalk vein.

...well, at least NOW we have steel.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on April 04, 2011, 03:51:17 pm
My axedwarf invented inadvertently the hand grenade while fighting a giantess in a 1/7 magma pool. (She survived the explosion. The giantess, not the dwarf.)
Two other soldiers have now died trying to retrieve the shiny, burning loot.
Taking your bets as of when they will stop...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GamerKnight on April 05, 2011, 01:41:54 am
How did it explode? I want explosions.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Waterbreath on April 05, 2011, 03:22:31 am
I had my expedition leader get into a mood and take hold of the masonry.

He worked and worked.

And made a great artifact, legendary to say the least. Created from finest marble, with it's own, sounding name: "Ledushko". (not sure about the name right now)

It's a
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on April 05, 2011, 06:15:43 am
Quote from: GamerKnight on April 05, 2011, 01:41:54 am
How did it explode? I want explosions.
Well, in the very exact circumstances I described, while holding a lead flask full of alcohol. Suddenly, a big burst of fire and pain. You might want to experiment first by dumping similar flasks into magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on April 05, 2011, 07:22:07 am
Quote from: Musashi on April 04, 2011, 03:51:17 pm
My axedwarf invented inadvertently the hand grenade while fighting a giantess in a 1/7 magma pool. (She survived the explosion. The giantess, not the dwarf.)
Two other soldiers have now died trying to retrieve the shiny, burning loot.
Taking your bets as of when they will stop...
I bet they will stop when you forbid it by pressing [ d ] > [ b ] > [ f ] > [ ENTER ] over the tile  ;D

PPE: flasks in alcahol does the trick. barrels kinda work too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on April 05, 2011, 07:27:31 am
Quote from: TolyK on April 05, 2011, 07:22:07 am
Quote from: Musashi on April 04, 2011, 03:51:17 pm
My axedwarf invented inadvertently the hand grenade while fighting a giantess in a 1/7 magma pool. (She survived the explosion. The giantess, not the dwarf.)
Two other soldiers have now died trying to retrieve the shiny, burning loot.
Taking your bets as of when they will stop...
I bet they will stop when you forbid it by pressing [ d ] > [ b ] > [ f ] > [ ENTER ] over the tile  ;D

PPE: flasks in alcahol does the trick. barrels kinda work too.

How do you put a flask in alcohol? :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Oliolli on April 05, 2011, 07:41:14 am
Quote from: Vorthon on April 05, 2011, 07:27:31 am
Quote from: TolyK on April 05, 2011, 07:22:07 am
Quote from: Musashi on April 04, 2011, 03:51:17 pm
My axedwarf invented inadvertently the hand grenade while fighting a giantess in a 1/7 magma pool. (She survived the explosion. The giantess, not the dwarf.)
Two other soldiers have now died trying to retrieve the shiny, burning loot.
Taking your bets as of when they will stop...
I bet they will stop when you forbid it by pressing [ d ] > [ b ] > [ f ] > [ ENTER ] over the tile  ;D

PPE: flasks in alcahol does the trick. barrels kinda work too.

How do you put a flask in alcohol? :P

Spill some alcohol on the ground, dump the flask into it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on April 05, 2011, 07:42:40 am
Quote from: Oliolli on April 05, 2011, 07:41:14 am
Quote from: Vorthon on April 05, 2011, 07:27:31 am
Quote from: TolyK on April 05, 2011, 07:22:07 am
Quote from: Musashi on April 04, 2011, 03:51:17 pm
My axedwarf invented inadvertently the hand grenade while fighting a giantess in a 1/7 magma pool. (She survived the explosion. The giantess, not the dwarf.)
Two other soldiers have now died trying to retrieve the shiny, burning loot.
Taking your bets as of when they will stop...
I bet they will stop when you forbid it by pressing [ d ] > [ b ] > [ f ] > [ ENTER ] over the tile  ;D

PPE: flasks in alcahol does the trick. barrels kinda work too.

How do you put a flask in alcohol? :P

Spill some alcohol on the ground, dump the flask into it.

But then the flask's just on the alcohol! :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Newbunkle on April 05, 2011, 08:09:05 am
Quote from: Waterbreath on April 05, 2011, 03:22:31 am
I had my expedition leader get into a mood and take hold of the masonry.

He worked and worked.

And made a great artifact, legendary to say the least. Created from finest marble, with it's own, sounding name: "Ledushko". (not sure about the name right now)

It's a
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A door that a building destroyer won't be able to break down? What could possibly be the point of that? :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on April 05, 2011, 08:42:04 am
Quote from: Vorthon on April 05, 2011, 07:42:40 am
Quote from: Oliolli on April 05, 2011, 07:41:14 am
Quote from: Vorthon on April 05, 2011, 07:27:31 am
Quote from: TolyK on April 05, 2011, 07:22:07 am
Quote from: Musashi on April 04, 2011, 03:51:17 pm
My axedwarf invented inadvertently the hand grenade while fighting a giantess in a 1/7 magma pool. (She survived the explosion. The giantess, not the dwarf.)
Two other soldiers have now died trying to retrieve the shiny, burning loot.
Taking your bets as of when they will stop...
I bet they will stop when you forbid it by pressing [ d ] > [ b ] > [ f ] > [ ENTER ] over the tile  ;D

PPE: flasks in alcahol does the trick. barrels kinda work too.

How do you put a flask in alcohol? :P

Spill some alcohol on the ground, dump the flask into it.

But then the flask's just on the alcohol! :P
1. Mod water to be alcahol (this will probably require hacking into the game, which no-one has done yet and hopefully won't)
2.  ???
3. Profit! (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?action=profile;u=15449)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Will_Tuna on April 05, 2011, 10:14:14 am
Failing my Dwarven biology, how do Giant toads reproduce?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on April 05, 2011, 10:23:06 am
Quote from: TolyK on April 05, 2011, 07:22:07 am
Quote from: Musashi on April 04, 2011, 03:51:17 pm
My axedwarf invented inadvertently the hand grenade while fighting a giantess in a 1/7 magma pool. (She survived the explosion. The giantess, not the dwarf.)
Two other soldiers have now died trying to retrieve the shiny, burning loot.
Taking your bets as of when they will stop...
I bet they will stop when you forbid it by pressing [ d ] > [ b ] > [ f ] > [ ENTER ] over the tile  ;D
That, fortunately, I'm aware of, I just didn't do it because I was intentionally leading my fortress to a certain death  :P
It's still facepalm-worthy, just like masons walling themselves off on the wrong side, or channeling the ground they're standing on. But just because it's easy to prevent doesn't mean dwarfs aren't complete morons for risking to kill themselves whenever we're not feeling especially benevolent.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Oliolli on April 05, 2011, 10:35:43 am
Quote from: Vorthon on April 05, 2011, 07:42:40 am
Quote from: Oliolli on April 05, 2011, 07:41:14 am
Quote from: Vorthon on April 05, 2011, 07:27:31 am
Quote from: TolyK on April 05, 2011, 07:22:07 am
Quote from: Musashi on April 04, 2011, 03:51:17 pm
My axedwarf invented inadvertently the hand grenade while fighting a giantess in a 1/7 magma pool. (She survived the explosion. The giantess, not the dwarf.)
Two other soldiers have now died trying to retrieve the shiny, burning loot.
Taking your bets as of when they will stop...
I bet they will stop when you forbid it by pressing [ d ] > [ b ] > [ f ] > [ ENTER ] over the tile  ;D

PPE: flasks in alcahol does the trick. barrels kinda work too.

How do you put a flask in alcohol? :P

Spill some alcohol on the ground, dump the flask into it.

But then the flask's just on the alcohol! :P

Fill a large pool with spilled alcohol, THEN drop the flask into it!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on April 05, 2011, 11:12:09 am
I've gotta start making new clothes. All my dwarves are walking around in the tattered remnants of what they arrived wearing. This presumably includes the original seven dwarves, who may or may not be still alive.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on April 05, 2011, 11:13:49 am
That's not the good way to go! Fill a large pool with spilled alcohol, then let drip one drop of 1/7 magma into it. Have Fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on April 05, 2011, 11:27:52 am
Quote from: Samuel on April 05, 2011, 11:12:09 am
I've gotta start making new clothes. All my dwarves are walking around in the tattered remnants of what they arrived wearing. This presumably includes the original seven dwarves, who may or may not be still alive.
Dwarves will claim new clothes, but never put them on.
Unless that's been fixed. Has it been fixed?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on April 05, 2011, 11:35:20 am
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on April 05, 2011, 11:27:52 am
Quote from: Samuel on April 05, 2011, 11:12:09 am
I've gotta start making new clothes. All my dwarves are walking around in the tattered remnants of what they arrived wearing. This presumably includes the original seven dwarves, who may or may not be still alive.
Dwarves will claim new clothes, but never put them on.
Unless that's been fixed. Has it been fixed?
I don't think so. The only way to make sure they don't walk around naked, is to create a civilian-only kind of military uniform (weird, I know, bear with me) and forcefully enroll everyone in squads so they HAVE to wear it. Won't work with kids, cripples, or dorfs enrolled in the regular army.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Oliolli on April 05, 2011, 01:09:13 pm
Quote from: Musashi on April 05, 2011, 11:13:49 am
That's not the good way to go! Fill a large pool with spilled alcohol, then let drip one drop of 1/7 magma into it. Have Fun.

Hmm... If you do it the other way around... Alcohol-rich obsidian?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Newbunkle on April 05, 2011, 06:35:18 pm
*Zadok McFisherdwarf cancels fish: interrupted by skeletal cod*

Me: Heh, cute. Terrifying ocean indeed, lol.

*Marsh McExpeditionLeader has been struck down*

Me: Oh crap they can move on land!!!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vhorthex on April 05, 2011, 07:09:04 pm
Dwarf fell into a lake during battle, once done, he was still alive. Decide to channel the sides of the lake (it was quite small) until the water was shallow enough to get the wounded soldier.

After just a few channels, the lake emptied itself very quickly...

Into my underground farms below...

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tree-puncher423 on April 05, 2011, 07:23:50 pm
failing to make sperate locks and doors w/ levers in my asylum. all in all they just opened the door, ate my doctors, howled at the trees, purred ike kittens, and eventually got killed by wild boars. well that was a lovely five minutes ago >:P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vhorthex on April 05, 2011, 07:31:22 pm
Quote from: tree-puncher423 on April 05, 2011, 07:23:50 pm
failing to make sperate locks and doors w/ levers in my asylum. all in all they just opened the door, ate my doctors, howled at the trees, purred ike kittens, and eventually got killed by wild boars. well that was a lovely five minutes ago >:P

Asylum!?

Uh... when my dwarfs go mad, they kill people and then go hide in a corner and starve and/or die of thirst.

I didn't know they could stay insane lol.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The Scout on April 05, 2011, 07:32:43 pm
Quote from: Will_Tuna on April 05, 2011, 10:14:14 am
Failing my Dwarven biology, how do Giant toads reproduce?
So, you wanna hear the game terms, or RL that will scar you forever?
PS: First thing I thought of is farming Toady One for DFs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tree-puncher423 on April 05, 2011, 07:59:01 pm
Quote from: Vhorthex on April 05, 2011, 07:31:22 pm
Quote from: tree-puncher423 on April 05, 2011, 07:23:50 pm
failing to make sperate locks and doors w/ levers in my asylum. all in all they just opened the door, ate my doctors, howled at the trees, purred ike kittens, and eventually got killed by wild boars. well that was a lovely five minutes ago >:P

Asylum!?

Uh... when my dwarfs go mad, they kill people and then go hide in a corner and starve and/or die of thirst.

I didn't know they could stay insane lol.
they don't put i have a nice dark unlit room with no beds wth food and water slid in through a small passageway that is then blocked off. they stay tere until they die :) its nice down there but too much miasma! i really need to reform my prisons and asylums besides it also serves as a prison so yea its pretty much like the 1800's :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FritzPL on April 06, 2011, 02:20:55 am
Tried to have funish with some waterfall/pump stuff,I dont remember.

Designated to channel a floor near the brook. Actually,miners were busy with the dining room and other,so I forgot about it.

Two months later i find my farming level flooded.

Well,the good thing,is that I managed to floorhatch the entrance to the underground,so I dont have a geyser now.

And I also fortified all my dwarves and supplies I could on the workshop floor. Now I feel like a fucking fallout wastelander with a vault :3
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxy15 on April 06, 2011, 08:54:16 am
I gave an axedorf a 2h adamantine masterwork sword.
He entered a martial trance and ran into a group of goblin lashers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chessrook44 on April 06, 2011, 10:17:18 am
Me: Oh come on, I don't get this!  All the other miners are mining, why isn't THIS miner migrant mining?  I've been checking over him for a couple months, but nothing!  And he even has mining activated on his labor lists!  I don't get wha.................................................he doesn't have a pick, does he?
[Makes pick]
[Dwarf takes pick and goes mining]
[Palm meets face]
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on April 06, 2011, 12:11:40 pm
I've designed a nice z-level to dig just for bedrooms in a way that makes optimal use of the space while offering 2x3 rooms to everyone in my newest fort.
Only when the miners started digging, I did realize the layout looked a lot like swatiskas in boxes.
And it is starting to bother me.
*facepalms*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on April 06, 2011, 12:14:07 pm
Quote from: Musashi on April 06, 2011, 12:11:40 pm
I've designed a nice z-level to dig just for bedrooms in a way that makes optimal use of the space while offering 2x3 rooms to everyone in my newest fort.
Only when the miners started digging, I did realize the layout looked a lot like swatiskas in boxes.
And it is starting to bother me.
*facepalms*

That happened to me once. Except the bedrooms weren't on a bedroom-only level. Let's just they the fortress had some inexplicable open space scattered throughout it. I sympathize with you, dude.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DoctorMonch on April 06, 2011, 03:16:52 pm
Quote from: Musashi on April 06, 2011, 12:11:40 pm
I've designed a nice z-level to dig just for bedrooms in a way that makes optimal use of the space while offering 2x3 rooms to everyone in my newest fort.
Only when the miners started digging, I did realize the layout looked a lot like swatiskas in boxes.
And it is starting to bother me.
*facepalms*

I'd make an elven holocaust joke, but it would probably be in bad taste.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on April 06, 2011, 03:33:27 pm
Quote from: Musashi on April 06, 2011, 12:11:40 pm
swatiskas

*facepalms*
I like radial symmetry, but for anything to not look like a swastika it has to be so twisty that it loses the clean look, or large enough to either outgrow its swastika shape or look good as a curve.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tree-puncher423 on April 06, 2011, 03:37:19 pm
me: okay now lets make a statue involving industry in our new kingdom/fortress...
Macriff Elkizers cancles engrave: interrupted by mummy. x17
Me: okay lets kill this thing!
Urist Alzacroff has made a sculpture.
Me: okay lets see what they sculptured.
<scrolls over>
There is a goblin, a bee hive, a dwarf, a tree, and an elf.
The goblin is chopping down the tree, the elf is in the tree, the dwarf is running away, the beehive is chasing the dwarf.
Me: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!! *face-palm* *head-desk* *gun-forehead* *bullet-brain* *self-reality* *tear-eye*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on April 06, 2011, 05:53:52 pm
How does a beehive chase a dwarf?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on April 06, 2011, 06:21:34 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on April 06, 2011, 03:33:27 pm
Quote from: Musashi on April 06, 2011, 12:11:40 pm
swatiskas

*facepalms*
I like radial symmetry, but for anything to not look like a swastika it has to be so twisty that it loses the clean look, or large enough to either outgrow its swastika shape or look good as a curve.
I'm starting to learn it the harsh way. I'll just stick to gleeful chaos next times. It worked just as well before.
Also, fortunately, smoothing/engraving the walls and adding doors fixes everything. :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Koollan on April 07, 2011, 12:13:50 am
A big moment for me was when I tried to lure a Fire Titan into my cage traps which happened to be in a grassy-forested area after it had murdered all of my military and caused a tantrum spiral. You can tell where it went from there. At least my fortress went out with a bang.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on April 07, 2011, 03:58:11 am
Oh hey, the Elves are here, last time I got an ambush so I'll just make sure all my dwarves are inside incase anything get's spotted! The momeny I unpaused "A vile force of darkness has arived", there were about a dozen lashers so I figured my military [Who I was trying to deck out in full steel, I HAD the armour but they decided those bronze high boots looked just SO much nicer on them] wouldn't do any good, I ordered my hunter onto the battlements.

He charges up there, right from his bed to the walls, ready to rain death upon the goblin invaders.... and stands there. The moment he was called to a station, he dropped his quiver and also got a different crossbow... Mong.
So I called him off, he changed his cross bow back and picked up a quiver. Maybe this time it will work. The lashers are milling around the raised draw bridge scratching thier heads and dodging all my stone fall traps, and now...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBWtvkQDeM4 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBWtvkQDeM4)

Imagine that, with a dwarf tearing off his clothes, running around with a steel shield and nothing else. Grabbing a crossbow from the bowyers, running up to the armoury for a helmet, back down to the leather works for armour and then to the armoury, rinse and repeat untill he's at the walls and the seige has buggered off.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on April 07, 2011, 11:58:07 am
Hunters have their own uniforms for their job, just like miners and woodcutters. So when you activate them, they think "Oh, I should trade my civilian crossbow for a military crossbow, and my quiver and ammunition should be switched too."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Oliolli on April 07, 2011, 01:08:41 pm
A moody weaponsmith of mine made my fortress' SECOND adamantine crossbow! What's up with them?!?!?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on April 07, 2011, 01:13:23 pm
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on April 07, 2011, 11:58:07 am
Hunters have their own uniforms for their job, just like miners and woodcutters. So when you activate them, they think "Oh, I should trade my civilian crossbow for a military crossbow, and my quiver and ammunition should be switched too."

I realised that while it was happening, but it didn't really help... I just kinda swore at him a little.

His name was Urist, no surprise there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gzoker on April 07, 2011, 03:03:25 pm
Playing for three and a half years without any invaders, then remembering that i turned them off.
Save. Turn them on. Reload. Half of the population killed by first ambush squad of the goblin army. Some dwarfs tried to reload the cage traps in the entrance, others tried to get their dirty hands on some loot. (damn you sock!)

Tomorrow morning i decided i leave that save in peace for a few days, and start another fort.
Well, i spent five hours browsing locations, revealing, prospecting them, looking for the perfect spot. I want to build a dam, and an artificial lake, and a nice big fort under it,and have at least bronze and silver to mine, and a magma pipe not too deep.

I settled for a 5*5 spot in mountains, and badlands, and it has perfect terrain for my project. and the magma pipe wasn't too deep either - best i could find was 120 levels deep - this one just 30, so plus points at embark.
Soon as i embarked, i found out that an unspokeable creature liked this place too. Fortunately there was a door on his lair, and i forbid it. my mason just build a wall there for safety, and MWUHAHAHHA problem solved.

Then i started designated my fortress. All. at. once. and i didn't unpaused yet. I spent roughly another four-five hours designating everything.
so when i finished it, and hit space, two alligators eat everyone.

I haven't noticed them in the stream three tiles away from the wagon. XD
almost ten hour of "work" for forty seconds of actual play     -     best fort ever
so quite a few FACEPALMS there

i tried reclaiming, and he is gone, my unspeakable horror he is, not to mention the two named alligator, one nameless is still there though

will they come back?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sidhien on April 07, 2011, 06:26:10 pm
"...still, I can't help but feel like I'm forgetting som-Oh god. Urist! URIST STOP!!! We have enough doors!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Newbunkle on April 07, 2011, 06:47:37 pm
Quote from: Sidhien on April 07, 2011, 06:26:10 pm
"...still, I can't help but feel like I'm forgetting som-Oh god. Urist! URIST STOP!!! We have enough doors!"

Hahaha. Reminds me of the time I tried to queue up a hundred bins using the job manager and got a hundred cabinets instead.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zwei on April 08, 2011, 03:33:27 am
Quote from: gzoker on April 07, 2011, 03:03:25 pm
I haven't noticed them in the stream three tiles away from the wagon. XD
almost ten hour of "work" for forty seconds of actual play     -     best fort ever
so quite a few FACEPALMS there

i tried reclaiming, and he is gone, my unspeakable horror he is, not to mention the two named alligator, one nameless is still there though

will they come back?

This is why i design forts in graphical editor and then use tool to convert images to designations.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GamerKnight on April 08, 2011, 04:19:37 am
Quote from: Newbunkle on April 07, 2011, 06:47:37 pm
Quote from: Sidhien on April 07, 2011, 06:26:10 pm
"...still, I can't help but feel like I'm forgetting som-Oh god. Urist! URIST STOP!!! We have enough doors!"

Hahaha. Reminds me of the time I tried to queue up a hundred bins using the job manager and got a hundred cabinets instead.

Try 90 stone floodgates. I was really tired that morning. I eventually used them to drain water from the river, but my heart just wasn't in it anymore.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tehc on April 08, 2011, 10:10:48 am
I decided to give a coffer and cabinet to all 220 dwarves in an old fort.

The masons were annoyed when I atomsmashed 220 coffins, as about a third were masterpieces.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jmancube on April 08, 2011, 11:50:08 am
I built a pretty nice fortress, with just about everything set up and going well. I had my workshops churning out products, and had a nice armor and weapons for my future army. I figured that I would get my army going pretty soon, but until then I just planned on using walls and a bridge to keep the goblins out. So when the first goblin ambush came, I smiled, and told my dwarves to get inside. I then pulled the lever to raise the bridge, thinking myself smarter than the silly goblins. Until the bridge didn't raise.... I built the lever and bridge, but unknown to me, the masons decided that hooking the two up was far less important than smoothing walls. After that, I learned to make absolutely sure that levers were hooked up and that I have dedicated mechanics.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on April 08, 2011, 01:20:56 pm
I was annoyed at the lack of wild life to slaughter on my map, and when a flock of geese sailed over the lake, it felt like they were teasing me. I went back to irrigating some more farms and building a [useless] tower in the center of my fort, and noticed a combat log popped up. I checked it to see a goose had its head caved in by some traps I placed by the lake [Incase of amphibious mounts] and laughed. A swarm of mechanics then ran out [Along with a very cheeky hunter with the job "Return kill"] to load the traps...

A vile swarm of darkness! Yeah, sieged. The nearest squad was thankfully just milling around and I ordered all my dwarves inside without any attacking, the goblins were busy killing geese. I was ready to pull up the drawr bridge when I saw one lone child run outside... I panicked and cancelled the order, and waited to see if he would do anything... he charged on blindly. At this point I just said screw him, and ordered the lever pulled. My military stationed at the gates then charged outside, along with a huge pack of war dogs...

Yeah. Facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on April 08, 2011, 02:41:00 pm
"Some migrants have arrived, despite the danger." Is what it said.

"Some migrants have arrived, despite the army of demons reducing the world to ash." Is what it should have said.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadenight123 on April 08, 2011, 04:44:44 pm
the merchants have settled down.
*anyone may trade*
...
...
the merchants are embarking on their journey.
...
...
"zzzzzz huh? not my fault chief, we were all sleepy, and hungry, and thirsty, and we love Smoothing stone. And engraving it. And you know, carpentry and the like, and hauling is tough too..."
...
... magma for all of you.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on April 09, 2011, 01:05:21 am
Quote from: shadenight123 on April 08, 2011, 04:44:44 pm
the merchants have settled down.
*anyone may trade*
...
...
the merchants are embarking on their journey.
...
...
"zzzzzz huh? not my fault chief, we were all sleepy, and hungry, and thirsty, and we love Smoothing stone. And engraving it. And you know, carpentry and the like, and hauling is tough too..."
...
... magma for all of you.

Put anyone to trade, and then make the trade depot its own burrow.  And then assign a random dwarf to said burrow.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadenight123 on April 09, 2011, 07:37:00 am
Quote from: SimRobert2001 on April 09, 2011, 01:05:21 am
Quote from: shadenight123 on April 08, 2011, 04:44:44 pm
the merchants have settled down.
*anyone may trade*
...
...
the merchants are embarking on their journey.
...
...
"zzzzzz huh? not my fault chief, we were all sleepy, and hungry, and thirsty, and we love Smoothing stone. And engraving it. And you know, carpentry and the like, and hauling is tough too..."
...
... magma for all of you.

Put anyone to trade, and then make the trade depot its own burrow.  And then assign a random dwarf to said burrow.

oh. i simply chose a random dwarf and removed any possible work from him, so he only eats and drinks and when a caravan appears there he goes.
might try the burrow thing.

another facepalm moment:
"damp stone located"
*yeah! moat time!*
*dig dig dig dig*
*remove area of damp stone...no acquifer. O_O
mcuristdigger:"i'm sorry chief...i know you wanted an acquifer but..."
mcuristchief:*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kraftwerk on April 09, 2011, 09:13:52 am
My biggest lately was when I realized that when Tutorials say press S for squad, they don't mean on the military screen. It's no wonder I couldn't kill things using the Scheduling screen...

And later when I realized that the cave invaders weren't going around my wall, I had simply left another area unguarded.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on April 09, 2011, 12:53:20 pm
The giantess Takru Lecituce Besosas has come! A giagantic creature resembling a human, almost unparalled in size.

Alright, archers at the battlements, my military at the gates, the traders have just come in side, let's do this... Why is one of my marksdwarves running at it? "Pick up equiptment" Hmmm, I should probably just let him go, he's going to grab a bolt and run...

No, he got crushed when he charged the bloody thing.

I hate marksdwarves more and more now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: VeriDF on April 09, 2011, 02:09:10 pm
I have just started extracting Adamantine, and there are some wounded dwarfs in my fortress. I saw one of my suturers suturing with adamantine strands.

:| Asshole.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sarda on April 09, 2011, 02:11:15 pm
Magma him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on April 09, 2011, 05:29:30 pm
Well, I thought that siege weapons are more effective.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zakkeh on April 09, 2011, 09:16:18 pm
I'm a newb, so I'm quite happy to hide from Forgotten Beasts until I have a large number of military dwarves of Legendary stature, so when I noticed a flying, poison gas spewing beast coming out of the depths, I immediately floored the up/down staircase on that z level.

Now, it turns out that if you floor an up/down staircase, it becomes unusable from anywhere, unlike I thought that it would just cut the down part off...So for a season or two a number of dwarves were stuck near my magma pool!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on April 10, 2011, 02:56:41 am
Quote from: zakkeh on April 09, 2011, 09:16:18 pm
I'm a newb, so I'm quite happy to hide from Forgotten Beasts until I have a large number of military dwarves of Legendary stature, so when I noticed a flying, poison gas spewing beast coming out of the depths, I immediately floored the up/down staircase on that z level.

Now, it turns out that if you floor an up/down staircase, it becomes unusable from anywhere, unlike I thought that it would just cut the down part off...So for a season or two a number of dwarves were stuck near my magma pool!

"So... thirsty!" "Don't do it Urist!" "But I have too... I'm so, so thirsty" "You can't though! You wont survive!" "I MUST! SO THIRSTY"

Urist McPowerThirst has burned to death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadenight123 on April 10, 2011, 03:09:38 am
*a wave of migrants have arrived*
+22.
"a wave of migrants have arrived"
+19
"a wave of migrants have arrived"
+16.
"the mayor is making a mandate"...
wait...I have a mayor!? since when?!
and a captain of the guard also. what the hell...
i alway thought nobles came with immigrants, never thought that the "expedition leader" would evolve like a pokemon into a bitchering noble...going to magma him.
but i can't. she's a woman. a married woman, with child, who is also my captain of the guard. Now that's favoritism.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on April 10, 2011, 04:55:29 am
Quote from: shadenight123 on April 10, 2011, 03:09:38 am
*a wave of migrants have arrived*
+22.
"a wave of migrants have arrived"
+19
"a wave of migrants have arrived"
+16.
"the mayor is making a mandate"...
wait...I have a mayor!? since when?!
and a captain of the guard also. what the hell...
i alway thought nobles came with immigrants, never thought that the "expedition leader" would evolve like a pokemon into a bitchering noble...going to magma him.
but i can't. she's a woman. a married woman, with child, who is also my captain of the guard. Now that's favoritism.
Now, that's Fun, you mean.  ;D
A more diplomatic way to do it is ensure the mayor stops seeing people. Lock her in a part of the fort with clever use of burrows, and dump enough stuff for her to survive. Soon enough, her social skills will deteriorate, and another dwarf's will pick up. When there are enough idle dwarfs, a more social dwarf will be elected in her place, and she will be able to leave her burrow again and become a harmless civilian.
That, or you can just [r]eplace her, which will only last as long as the next elections, anyway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tetragenic on April 10, 2011, 07:04:17 am
Best way of disposing of a room of vermin remains? Obviously magma. What I didn't think of is how to get the magma out again *facepalm*

Best way of disposing of a useless mayor who sleeps all the time? Magma. Now how do I get the magma out of his room... as it's in the middle of my main meeting hall. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serrational on April 10, 2011, 08:56:31 am
Ah yes, and you sealed off your room of Masterwork glass giant-spinny-discs. And all your gems.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bathunter on April 10, 2011, 11:28:20 am
I had a fortress between two rivers that forked into one (Dwarf fortress logic, everyone!). In order to hold off sieges until I had an army of legendary military dwarves, I put two drawbridges and connected them to one lever.

One day, a vile force of darkness came. I had a small military, well-trained, but unable to hold off the huge amount of waves of goblins. And I really needed the iron equipment and weapons. So, I figured, "Why not pull the level twice? Some goblins will make it across, then the bridge will close, and the other goblins will have to wait while I butcher their friends. Divide them and conquer them."

So Urist McLazy walks over and pulls the lever once. Then he thought "Me sleepy" and went to bed.

He was the last one to become a pincushion...

Never base your entire defensive plan on one dwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on April 10, 2011, 11:35:25 am
Quote from: Bathunter on April 10, 2011, 11:28:20 am
Never base your entire defensive plan on dwarves.
fixed?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on April 10, 2011, 02:03:29 pm
Hmmm, it's been a while since my last siege, let's check who is outside my fort... Ahhh, not much, my legendary miner is a fair bit away but I HIGHLY doubt anything is going to happen... how funny would it be if I got a sie-OH FOR FUCKS SAFE DWARF FORTRESS

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: spartacus9000 on April 10, 2011, 02:08:20 pm
I started a new game today and as I was preparing for my journey (not at all carefully), I meant to get rid of the more expensive training axes to allow for more points to be put into things like food. However, after about 10 minutes of trying to figure out why my miners weren't doing anything when I obviously designated places to be mined out, I realized that neither of my miners had picks on them...and that I hadn't gotten rid of the training axes, but rather the PICK axes...I will no longer assume that MinerMcStoopidDwarf isn't doing his job as he was programed to...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on April 10, 2011, 02:21:46 pm
Quote from: UnrealJake on April 10, 2011, 02:03:29 pm
Hmmm, it's been a while since my last siege, let's check who is outside my fort... Ahhh, not much, my legendary miner is a fair bit away but I HIGHLY doubt anything is going to happen... how funny would it be if I got a sie-OH FOR FUCKS SAFE DWARF FORTRESS

He's dead, not surprising with that many lashers and pikemen stabbing you, I have four more.

Speaking of my other miners, one of them is arranging a party now that the seige is broken. Charming.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: callahan.44 on April 10, 2011, 03:28:22 pm
I just had this Doh! moment.

I setup legendary McSmithy to gold stud all my masterworked adamantine armour, with all doors to other items he might grab locked - double and triple checked all access. He starts working and grabs from the armour pile I wanted, so I leave him to it.
Unfortunately, McWeapons at the forge beside him was making copper bolts, but must have been getting a drink at the time.

I didn't become aware of any of this until, I got curious about what my archers were shooting at the target range.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on April 10, 2011, 04:06:21 pm
Apparently, while channeling the water out of a 1-z-level deep pool produces a decently fast stream, tunneling into the bottom of a 2 z-level deep pool creates a water cannon.

Luckily, my miner managed to get a hold of something apparently, and somehow is now inside the pool. Otherwise he'd have been blown out with all the water and over the edge of an underground deep pit. That'd have been messy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadenight123 on April 10, 2011, 04:12:23 pm
i was removing ramps. with four or five miners in a 2*3 moat.
it spanned several z level.
the ones at the end decided it would be a lot of !!fun!! to dig out from beneath the feets of my legendary miners.
porridge of dwarf ensued.
because i still hadn't filled the moat with water. or magma. and those down decided to finish the job of the legendary, digging away the ramps by standing on top of them. hell yeah. lost 6 miners in one shot!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Watwar5 on April 10, 2011, 07:53:48 pm
I was trying to figure out why all my dwarves on the surface were idle and the medical dwarves weren't using murky pools for water, when I realized that after a not so deadly clown made of steam broke down the door to the caverns (It came out of nowhere), I had panicked and sealed off the surface from the rest of my fort. Goodbye Urist McInfection and starving farm animals.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Passive Fist on April 10, 2011, 08:06:56 pm
I tried to tame enemy mounts from a siege. Game gave them the 'stray' prefix so I thought all was well. Went to butcher them, they escape and kill my mayor. Major tantrum spiral begins and leaves me with 3 dwarfs.

One of the dwarfs is killed by a ghost.

Damnit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on April 11, 2011, 04:51:47 am
"Siege peaceful after reclaim" bug does not apply to liaisons.
Spoiler: Results of my investigation (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Linthar on April 11, 2011, 08:33:49 am
While I was trying to get all the valuable metal out of the moat I was digging, I accidentally breached the brook I was planning on filling said moat with. Luckily there weren't any dwarfs in the moat at that moment so I only lost one room before I could get a wall up to save my fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on April 11, 2011, 10:33:21 am
Guess where my fortress is going in a hand-basket?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on April 11, 2011, 10:33:39 am
Quote from: Samuel on April 11, 2011, 10:33:21 am
Guess where my fortress is going in a hand-basket?

The Circus? :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on April 11, 2011, 10:58:40 am
Quote from: Vorthon on April 11, 2011, 10:33:39 am
Quote from: Samuel on April 11, 2011, 10:33:21 am
Guess where my fortress is going in a hand-basket?

The Circus? :P

In a metaphorical sense. The tantrum spiral has begun and the seige isn't even over yet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on April 11, 2011, 10:59:59 am
Quote from: Samuel on April 11, 2011, 10:58:40 am
Quote from: Vorthon on April 11, 2011, 10:33:39 am
Quote from: Samuel on April 11, 2011, 10:33:21 am
Guess where my fortress is going in a hand-basket?

The Circus? :P

In a metaphorical sense. The tantrum spiral has begun and the seige isn't even over yet.

I'm jealous. Haven't been sieged in ages... (It would probably help if I played more, though. :P)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slackratchet on April 11, 2011, 09:22:17 pm
Due to a Fey Mood I am now the owner of a Raw Adamantine Quern.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on April 11, 2011, 11:35:58 pm
Quote from: Slackratchet on April 11, 2011, 09:22:17 pm
Due to a Fey Mood I am now the owner of a Raw Adamantine Quern.

Build it in a public place and use that sucker for milling.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zwei on April 12, 2011, 01:17:39 am
Quote from: Slackratchet on April 11, 2011, 09:22:17 pm
Due to a Fey Mood I am now the owner of a Raw Adamantine Quern.

Instant legendary dining room or royal quaters.

it is no facepalm, it is high five!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on April 12, 2011, 02:50:03 am
Quote from: zwei on April 12, 2011, 01:17:39 am
Quote from: Slackratchet on April 11, 2011, 09:22:17 pm
Due to a Fey Mood I am now the owner of a Raw Adamantine Quern.

Instant legendary dining room or royal quaters.

it is no facepalm, it is high five!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadenight123 on April 12, 2011, 03:04:37 am
mc snobbynoble: i sleep on the dirt, but i have a QUERN OF ADAMANTINE SUCK ON MY ROYAL BEARD!!!!!!
mc poorpeasant: heck, how i wish instead of a comfy bed i had an adamantine quern to sleep into.
overseer whistles away confident.

back on topic:
i had 500+ drinks.
"urist mccretin DIED OF THIRST".
the poor sod was so taken to engraving he died of thirst.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sjotrik on April 12, 2011, 06:56:32 am
Got a fey mood and he wanted a bowyers shop. so i was hoping for some sort of artifact crossbow. :D

but NO! The damn dorf got ONE piece of wood and made a freaking blowgun! >.<

/Facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on April 12, 2011, 06:58:48 am
Quote from: Sjotrik on April 12, 2011, 06:56:32 am
Got a fey mood and he wanted a bowyers shop. so i was hoping for some sort of artifact crossbow. :D

but NO! The damn dorf got ONE piece of wood and made a freaking blowgun! >.<

/Facepalm

So... a log with a whole drilled in the middle of it?

Ladies and gentlemen, this is advanced technology.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xordae on April 12, 2011, 08:40:52 am
Maybe he invented rifling.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on April 12, 2011, 09:46:36 am
Quote from: xordae on April 12, 2011, 08:40:52 am
Maybe he invented rifling.
Quote from: UnrealJake on April 12, 2011, 06:58:48 am
Ladies and gentlemen, this is advanced technology.
wrong post order  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slackratchet on April 12, 2011, 09:57:41 am
Quote from: Rockphed on April 11, 2011, 11:35:58 pm
Quote from: Slackratchet on April 11, 2011, 09:22:17 pm
Due to a Fey Mood I am now the owner of a Raw Adamantine Quern.

Build it in a public place and use that sucker for milling.

I did. It's now in the main entrance and everyone is quite happy about it. Still, considering how little of it I have I would rather have used it for making armor.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: fallofthechosen on April 12, 2011, 02:32:26 pm
Built a complex above ground drowning/freezing trap for sieges, since I had run out of room underground. Didn't think to secure the
mechanisms/pumps/watermills from the outside world.

Siege comes, group of 8 trolls rush in and play bull in a china shop with my trap layout, and now I only have a handful of cage traps and weapon traps to take out the 4 remaining goblin squads, and a ragtag under-equipped militia to stop the 4 goblin squads coming my way. This will be messy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scaraban on April 12, 2011, 11:46:02 pm
Like this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nk_zpMory-0 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nk_zpMory-0)
or this?
http://video.adultswim.com/family-guy/bull-in-a-china-shop.html (http://video.adultswim.com/family-guy/bull-in-a-china-shop.html)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Captain Mayhem on April 13, 2011, 03:30:50 am
First post. Here goes!

Spent such a long time yesterday setting up a proper danger room that could handle several squads at once. I believe it's 82 squares big, took hours to make all the training spears and link every single trap to a lever (kindof regret I didn't think of setting it to a repeater instead, but ohwell).

So when I finally have set it all up, dressed my 20 soldiers in full armor and all the other preparations, I pull the lever. Success! Everything worked, so I set it to repeat for a while, checked back with them a few times to look at their skyrocketing skills. All fine and dandy.

The next month, those alcoholized lemmings suddenly decided that it's bring-your-child-to-work-day. Four toddlers dead in 10 seconds flat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on April 13, 2011, 04:21:09 am
bring-your-pet-to-work-day is waiting!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: schussel on April 13, 2011, 04:28:27 am
Quote from: Captain Mayhem on April 13, 2011, 03:30:50 am
First post. Here goes!

Spent such a long time yesterday setting up a proper danger room that could handle several squads at once. I believe it's 82 squares big, took hours to make all the training spears and link every single trap to a lever (kindof regret I didn't think of setting it to a repeater instead, but ohwell).

So when I finally have set it all up, dressed my 20 soldiers in full armor and all the other preparations, I pull the lever. Success! Everything worked, so I set it to repeat for a while, checked back with them a few times to look at their skyrocketing skills. All fine and dandy.

The next month, those alcoholized lemmings suddenly decided that it's bring-your-child-to-work-day. Four toddlers dead in 10 seconds flat.

great quota up that by assigning dogs and or warelefants (i used to have a fort with allmost 100 bred war elefants where 2/3rd died gruesomely in the dangerrooms :) btw you can save alotta place by making one room for each squad with a 1*1 area ..encapsulated with very nice statues and engraved walls/floor .. thats enough .. they can dodge etc even when sitting down :)

like that ..Behold great Art!!
 
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MarcAFK on April 13, 2011, 07:45:05 am
You don't need the statues, but i do think it'ds a nice addition since you can decorate all your statues with blood and rotate them out of the area as needed, nice work :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: callahan.44 on April 13, 2011, 07:56:23 am
I've got time bomb spiral just waiting to happen. doh.
McMayor is 18 (got the job at 12) and has mother, father, 8 siblings, 32 friends and rest of fort likes him.
(nicknamed this clan the Kennedys)

The fort is already on a knife edge after a toxic spill in the hospital and I had to quarantine it. (Fun!)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yoink on April 13, 2011, 08:35:54 am
Oh, bloody hell. Here I was, getting mad at my marksdwarves who seemingly refuse to pick up a crossbow and bolts, no matter what I do... And then I realise I'm yelling at dwarves with like, a few working arms between them. :/
I feel mean now...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: schussel on April 13, 2011, 09:00:25 am
Quote from: MarcAFK on April 13, 2011, 07:45:05 am
You don't need the statues, but i do think it'ds a nice addition since you can decorate all your statues with blood and rotate them out of the area as needed, nice work :P

yeah the statues are just for the nice work effect ... its just odd when you use the best statues in the fort .. civillians tend to walk around the beautyful statues ^^
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: phoenixuk on April 13, 2011, 09:04:10 am
Urist McLazyass cancels task Admire Statue: Wooden Training spear Lodged in groin
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on April 13, 2011, 10:19:19 am
Quote from: phoenixuk on April 13, 2011, 09:04:10 am
Urist McLazyass cancels task Admire Statue: Wooden Training spear Lodged in groin
:P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Captain Mayhem on April 13, 2011, 10:33:52 am
Quote from: schussel on April 13, 2011, 04:28:27 am
Quote from: Captain Mayhem on April 13, 2011, 03:30:50 am
First post. Here goes!

Spent such a long time yesterday setting up a proper danger room that could handle several squads at once. I believe it's 82 squares big, took hours to make all the training spears and link every single trap to a lever (kindof regret I didn't think of setting it to a repeater instead, but ohwell).

So when I finally have set it all up, dressed my 20 soldiers in full armor and all the other preparations, I pull the lever. Success! Everything worked, so I set it to repeat for a while, checked back with them a few times to look at their skyrocketing skills. All fine and dandy.

The next month, those alcoholized lemmings suddenly decided that it's bring-your-child-to-work-day. Four toddlers dead in 10 seconds flat.

great quota up that by assigning dogs and or warelefants (i used to have a fort with allmost 100 bred war elefants where 2/3rd died gruesomely in the dangerrooms :) btw you can save alotta place by making one room for each squad with a 1*1 area ..encapsulated with very nice statues and engraved walls/floor .. thats enough .. they can dodge etc even when sitting down :)

like that ..Behold great Art!!
 
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I just tried that. It, uhm, got me some interesting results. Dwarves do kindof catapult around while trying to dodge the spears. Apparently, they're ninja enough to dodge through a locked door and on top of the statues :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sjotrik on April 13, 2011, 10:43:20 am
Just got another fey mood. -.-

And once again, he picked up 1... ONE item and began constructing. This time i was lucky and got an amazing
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

LUCKY ME! -.-

On the plus side, i got a legendary metalcrafter. :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadenight123 on April 13, 2011, 12:31:47 pm
note to self:
MINERS ARE STUPID.
More then the rest of the dwarfs.
they get the degree in mining by smashing rocks with their head.
Never ever again leave a bunch of dwarfs unattended and with the purpose of digging a MOAT. NEVER. EVER.
only one survived the drowning.
and now, since they dug also too near a cliff, water is pouring down, and not even filling up all the moat. argh. and it's raining!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kassil on April 13, 2011, 01:12:15 pm
Quote from: Yoink on April 13, 2011, 08:35:54 am
Oh, bloody hell. Here I was, getting mad at my marksdwarves who seemingly refuse to pick up a crossbow and bolts, no matter what I do... And then I realise I'm yelling at dwarves with like, a few working arms between them. :/
I feel mean like a DF Overlord now...

Fixed that for you.
Welcome to the land of cheerful psychopaths.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: schussel on April 13, 2011, 01:32:21 pm
Quote from: Captain Mayhem on April 13, 2011, 10:33:52 am
Quote from: schussel on April 13, 2011, 04:28:27 am
Quote from: Captain Mayhem on April 13, 2011, 03:30:50 am
First post. Here goes!

Spent such a long time yesterday setting up a proper danger room that could handle several squads at once. I believe it's 82 squares big, took hours to make all the training spears and link every single trap to a lever (kindof regret I didn't think of setting it to a repeater instead, but ohwell).

So when I finally have set it all up, dressed my 20 soldiers in full armor and all the other preparations, I pull the lever. Success! Everything worked, so I set it to repeat for a while, checked back with them a few times to look at their skyrocketing skills. All fine and dandy.

The next month, those alcoholized lemmings suddenly decided that it's bring-your-child-to-work-day. Four toddlers dead in 10 seconds flat.

great quota up that by assigning dogs and or warelefants (i used to have a fort with allmost 100 bred war elefants where 2/3rd died gruesomely in the dangerrooms :) btw you can save alotta place by making one room for each squad with a 1*1 area ..encapsulated with very nice statues and engraved walls/floor .. thats enough .. they can dodge etc even when sitting down :)

like that ..Behold great Art!!
 
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I just tried that. It, uhm, got me some interesting results. Dwarves do kindof catapult around while trying to dodge the spears. Apparently, they're ninja enough to dodge through a locked door and on top of the statues :(
The trick is to keep the training area as small as possible.
Imagine a cross of 5 in diameter with armor stand sourrounded by a door each side and one spot for the spears, thats maximum to cover... supports 4 full squads. just block everything else around with natural walls and doors. :) i would graph it down but smartphoning atm :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rushmik on April 13, 2011, 11:08:51 pm
My miners were chipping away the cliff-side of my oceanside fort, and I'd forgotten about the murky pool that the walls were built over. They dug it away and all five of my legendary miners were swept into the deep. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sjotrik on April 14, 2011, 10:10:02 am
Got my first goblin siege in just a minute ago. :D

I was making a strategy plan on how to survive 18 goblins and a giant toad by funneling them through the lots of cage traps, and unpaused.
A few moments went on, and my soldiers waited for the goblins. :O
Then, i saw them coming... from the DAMN WELLS!

Seems like i forgot to wall of my channels which led to my wells in the middle of my fort. -.-

/FACEPALM!

i killed all of them without casualties though. :D victory!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: IcarusOne on April 14, 2011, 04:40:44 pm
Mayor just forbid the export of... Wooden bins.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on April 14, 2011, 06:16:20 pm
Quote from: IcarusOne on April 14, 2011, 04:40:44 pm
Mayor just forbid the export of... Wooden bins.

Well his future just got warmer...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: major_sephiroth on April 14, 2011, 06:17:31 pm
Quote from: IcarusOne on April 14, 2011, 04:40:44 pm
Mayor just forbid the export of... Wooden bins.
Metal bins are worth more!
But seriously, magma that guy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Keldane on April 14, 2011, 08:59:58 pm
Or not. Wooden bins are easy to produce under most circumstances, and are useful things for him to mandate production of. Individually selecting items for trade just takes a bit longer, and hey, you can still export metal ones with their contents.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DrKillPatient on April 14, 2011, 09:06:14 pm
Drown him in wooden bins. Or make so many that the elves get pissed and you can throw him outside when they siege you later.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on April 14, 2011, 10:12:31 pm
You let your wooden bins go off-site?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: major_sephiroth on April 15, 2011, 12:41:17 am
I just had a moment that wasn't a facepalm for me, but for two thieves.

I'm playing the dungeon keeper mod, and got a dragon in a migrant wave. He was quickly placed into my military, and sent to defend the front entrance from two racoons. They got roasted nicely.

I look closer, and there's two thief corpses.

The firebreath killed them, without actually discovering them. I laughed for quite a while.

EDIT:
An update on my dragon soldier:
A few fires have started. No major influence yet.
He also chased another thief with my militia commander. My milita commander had to block dragonfire 4 times. There's a facepalm waiting to happen there.

EDIT 2:
I brought a ton of coal on embark, and I left it all in my wagon. One of the fires reached the wagon. Well, no more fuel. No casualties, then my game crashed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on April 15, 2011, 02:06:50 am
Can you replicate this?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkflagrance on April 15, 2011, 02:58:19 am
I'm setting up a fort in Fortress Defense for DF 0.25. Create a danger room, buff ten soldiers to legendary shield-user and grandmaster lasher. Armor them with a new, steel analogue I created in DF version 0.12. Then, nightwing swordsmen attack.

Laughing, I send out my lashers to drive my enemies before me that I might hear the lamentations of their women.

My elite soldiers are soon all dead. The one nightwing squad that annihilated them lost only one soldier. Apparently, when material values changed between versions, the original values of steel became as soft as butter or something, because in the combat reports the nightwing blades passed right through my soldiers' armor like it wasn't there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: major_sephiroth on April 15, 2011, 03:37:00 am
Quote from: Kogut on April 15, 2011, 02:06:50 am
Can you replicate this?
Well, I daresay it was ~230 rocks of Bit Coal in my wagon igniting.
My save is a bit far back, so I can't replicate it too easily. Maybe some dwarven !!SCIENCE!! is in order.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on April 15, 2011, 03:48:58 am
Quote from: darkflagrance on April 15, 2011, 02:58:19 am
Apparently, when material values changed between versions, the original values of steel became as soft as butter or something,
That doesn't sound right. Can you post the steel-analogue's values?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Premium on April 15, 2011, 05:58:07 am
Why yes, water DOES flood faster than miners can dig.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on April 15, 2011, 07:22:17 am
I didn't realise it, but most of my booze was gone and the only stuff still available was the booze in my jail...

A lot of my prisoners died of thirst because all of the other dwarves were drinking their alchohol.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkflagrance on April 15, 2011, 03:09:31 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on April 15, 2011, 03:48:58 am
Quote from: darkflagrance on April 15, 2011, 02:58:19 am
Apparently, when material values changed between versions, the original values of steel became as soft as butter or something,
That doesn't sound right. Can you post the steel-analogue's values?

Code: [Select]
[INORGANIC:SAINTSILVER]
[USE_MATERIAL_TEMPLATE:METAL_TEMPLATE]
[STATE_NAME_ADJ:ALL_SOLID:saintsilver]
[STATE_NAME_ADJ:LIQUID:molten saintsilver]
[STATE_NAME_ADJ:GAS:boiling saintsilver]
[DISPLAY_COLOR:7:15:0]
[MATERIAL_VALUE:50]
[SPEC_HEAT:1050]
[MELTING_POINT:16444]
[BOILING_POINT:18600]
[ITEMS_WEAPON][ITEMS_WEAPON_RANGED][ITEMS_AMMO][ITEMS_DIGGER][ITEMS_ARMOR][ITEMS_ANVIL]
[ITEMS_HARD]
[ITEMS_METAL]
[ITEMS_BARRED]
[ITEMS_SCALED]
[SOLID_DENSITY:18500]
[LIQUID_DENSITY:10000]
[MOLAR_MASS:84500]
[IMPACT_YIELD:1080000]
[IMPACT_FRACTURE:1080000]
[IMPACT_ELASTICITY:650]
[COMPRESSIVE_YIELD:1080000]
[COMPRESSIVE_FRACTURE:1080000]
[COMPRESSIVE_ELASTICITY:690]
[TENSILE_YIELD:160000]
[TENSILE_FRACTURE:240000]
[TENSILE_ELASTICITY:170]
[TORSION_YIELD:400000]
[TORSION_FRACTURE:900000]
[TORSION_ELASTICITY:210]
[SHEAR_YIELD:160000]
[SHEAR_FRACTURE:880000]
[SHEAR_ELASTICITY:210]
[BENDING_YIELD:170000]
[BENDING_FRACTURE:700000]
[BENDING_ELASTICITY:190]
[MAX_EDGE:10000]
It was meant to be better than steel, actually.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ArKFallen on April 15, 2011, 08:02:27 pm
Okay so I embark inbetween 2 biomes, a freezing and non. The freezing one has a lake the non has the river. I embark and dig down into my nice little ice fortress. It's all going smoothly: I've got a room for all the starting 7 and tons of others + beds for any migrants, and a legendary dining room below the lake.
Spring passes, the lake's still frozen so I don't have to wall off and relocate out of the ice, which is amazing (even had an ice bridge, pit, and wall protecting it). Summer passes I see the occasional water puddle ???, but "Hey, Summer's just about over it won't matter."
So a few migrants come and on their way to the fort when I get the message "Autumn has arrived". The lake fort melts with everything and everyone inside it . *Face Palm*
I look around and see "The dining room survived, SCORE! ;D" ( it was hatched off). And its all sunshine and daisies until I realize the remaining non-drowning dwarves don't have a pick and can't dig down to it. *Super Face Palm*

Edit: I'd never tried anything like it before, and after rechecking apparently it was a cold biome  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lazygun on April 16, 2011, 10:29:47 am
I'm in the second winter of a new fort and I'm doing so well that the outpost liaison has already arrived to offer to make my fort a barony. No thanks, perhaps later. So I was quite suprised to receive an alert that a fish dissector had gone melancholy. I looked up and down the announcements list to see if a pet had died. Nope, that wasn't it. I wanted to find the dwarf on my unit list to see what had made him unhappy but he wasn't there. Then I found him, away from my dwarfs, reported as 'friendly'. "That's new!" I thought, It does make some kind of sense, but it's a pity the game now loses the info about dwarves' friends and happiness when they go insane".

So I unpaused the game. Then I got a message that a diplomat had left unhappy and it dawned on my what had happened. I embarked in a savage freezing biome. With no reason to go out on the surface I'd barricaded up the fort for the winter... with the outpost liaison inside.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flying Dice on April 16, 2011, 11:55:00 am
Quote from: darkflagrance on April 15, 2011, 03:09:31 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on April 15, 2011, 03:48:58 am
Quote from: darkflagrance on April 15, 2011, 02:58:19 am
Apparently, when material values changed between versions, the original values of steel became as soft as butter or something,
That doesn't sound right. Can you post the steel-analogue's values?

Code: [Select]
[SOLID_DENSITY:18500]

It was meant to be better than steel, actually.
I need to check the raws, but the solid density looks way too low. Edit coming in a minute.
Hm. Nope, not it. What sort of material are the weapons of the enemies?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flying Dice on April 16, 2011, 01:15:03 pm
Okay, how about this:

I just shut down all food production. Farms are all fallow for every season, no brewing is going on, fishing and hunting labours have been deactivated. The only food-related activity is butchery and the processing of the meat into masterwork roasts, and that only because I'm busy combatting FPS loss. Why, you ask? Because I have too much food. Total food stores are currently at 12253; 803 of meat, 512 of fish, 2414 of plants, 1830 of seeds, 4238 of drink and 2456 of prepared meals and extracts. This fort is currently producing food faster than I can make space to house it, even with a third of the non-food producers dedicated to mining out new space, a third dedicated to hauling away the stone in new stockpiles, and the final third dedicated to either food hauling or barrel making.

Any suggestions for what I should do with all of this food?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Karnewarrior on April 16, 2011, 01:19:00 pm
dump it in the magma?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on April 16, 2011, 03:14:58 pm
Quote from: darkflagrance on April 15, 2011, 03:09:31 pm
It was meant to be better than steel, actually.
Some of those tags don't exist in any of the metal raws. _ELASTICITY is only applied to bending, the rest of the stress types take _STRAIN_AT_YIELD. Also, many of the values are inferior to steel's. With the exception of elasticity and strain at yield, higher is better.

Did you test this metal in .12? The steel raws haven't changed between that version and the latest one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZachUSAman on April 16, 2011, 04:26:31 pm
1. didnt know you could zoom through Z levels with hotkeys.. and I'm a guy who always builds forts deep underground and manages the moving from top to bottom.

2. didnt know you could get your dwarfs to drop those "named" weapons/shields by making them get exact matches in armor.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flying Dice on April 16, 2011, 06:56:59 pm
Apparently at some point in the past, for some unknown reason, I built all of my cages containing werewolves and attached them to the same lever as my atom smasher. The cages were approximately 20 tiles away from my dining hall. I activated the atom smasher...


Not nearly as much as a facepalm as it could have been. My war grizzlies and jaguar took down one of them, while my militia commander who was for once on the scene killed the second. One of the grizzlies was mildly injured, and the jaguar has semi-serious injuries, but probably not anything fatal.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on April 16, 2011, 07:59:10 pm
An important combat lesson was learned today: Armourless axedwarves < Serpentman Blowgunners.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Trickysticks on April 16, 2011, 08:01:14 pm
A snow storm has come.
It's summer.
>.>
(I think that counts :/)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on April 17, 2011, 02:54:25 am
uh... i hit an aquifer and pumped it out...
... into my river.
there does my fresh water supply  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NightS on April 17, 2011, 12:02:08 pm
Playing civilization forge, arming my dorfs with the best i had:

Commander: Mithril longsword
3 soldiers: Orichalcum war hammers
3 soldiers: Shimmersteel spears
3 soldiers: Shimmersteel battleaxes
Manager ordered them, done, lets equip them... what? no axes? :P Maybe i forgot them.
Let's do them again: 3 crucible steel battleaxes
Done, let's equip.. AGAIN!?
Stocks, weapons... they are there wtf? zoom... Urist McPeon*6 have the axes
FACEPALM
(my peons are masons, engravers, carpenters, woodcutters and haulers, currently i have more than 20 (useless migrants))
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on April 17, 2011, 02:44:38 pm
Son of a bitch! A Forgoteen Beast's deadly dust somehow crashed the game! I lost so much progress! draining a subterranean lake, building a whole residential wing, a Dwarven Child with a strange mood...

Shit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Captain Mayhem on April 17, 2011, 05:50:10 pm
Oh dear. Green glass windows are apparently not acceptable supports for a tower roof.

11 dwarven casualties, 20+ animals. and about 20-25 floors to rebuild. Not counting the tantruming and berserking that, of course, followed after with a big grin.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fahgo on April 17, 2011, 05:52:49 pm
2 WTFs in quick succession goblin siege arrives so I raise the drawbridge. 2 war dogs outside to attract them through my 7 x 3 trap field and into my lava trap (mwahahahaha!). First wave of trolls arrives, one gets minced the rest leg it. bwahahahahaa! Yes! Run in fear! I declare. The rest of the horde arrives and enters the killing field. Limbs start flying all over the place, corpses start to pile up. Then one goblin appears the other side of the traps! No injuries!  He dodged 7 (more depending on which way he dodged for each) traps! All with high quality parts. It looked like he just teleported there! The rest of the goblins decide to leave whilst all their limbs are still attached. So I think ah well. Send out a squad to deal with Mr flying goblin. Nope. HE DOES IT AGAIN! Gets away with the rest of them (2 badly wounded archers and a troll left behind. Quickly dealt with by aforementioned squad).
To commemorate that battle a metalcrafter goes secretive. Picks up a piece of cotton candy. interesting I think wonder what hes going to make. Armour? A weapon? Another cage?. Nope. Starts working with just that. End result an earring. With a picture of a black-cap on it. *facepalm* does he think blue-stuff grows on trees?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: erissian on April 17, 2011, 07:24:56 pm
Quote from: Captain Mayhem on April 17, 2011, 05:50:10 pm
Oh dear. Green glass windows are apparently not acceptable supports for a tower roof.

You can use green glass blocks to build floors and walls.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ghills on April 17, 2011, 08:33:34 pm
I thought I had proper defenses set up, so when an ambush came I closed the drawbridge and grinned...only to realize that my shiny-new defensive walls actually made a very nice path straight to the pond my dorfs had been using to clean themselves.   Which they were still using to clean themselves. In the middle of an ambush. *facepalm*  I had to try twice to get it fully blocked off, and lost about a fifth of my population the meantime.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GamerKnight on April 18, 2011, 02:24:37 am
I embarked on the most legendary volcano in the world. The mouth opens at the base of a valley, hundreds of readily available ores of almost every kind, readily harnessable magma, and no threats except a bunch of skeletal yak and goats in the surrounding mountains.

TOO EASY FACEPALM

I'm abandoning after my second year because it's just too simple. Everyone is drafted the military and all are decked out in steel. All surfaces in the liviing quarters are gold, silver, copper and zinc. And finally, the circus was visited, and everyone whooped some clown ass. My squads are holding them at bay and the fort is still continuing as normal.

Goblin ambushes were repelled, iron towers were built, and everything  I could think of short of dumping boiling magma onto the world was tried to make it more fun. Just too easy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serrational on April 18, 2011, 03:23:59 pm
Quote from: GamerKnight on April 18, 2011, 02:24:37 am
everything  I could think of short of dumping boiling magma onto the world was tried to make it more fun. Just too easy.
And why not? Good enougth for Boatmurdered, good enough for you.
Just watch the butterflies, sneaky little beasts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Milarki on April 18, 2011, 05:18:13 pm
Well, this is the first facepalm I can report...

Situation: I had lost a legendary miner to drowning in the nearby river as I tried to transform it from a brook to an actual river. The idiot somehow managed to pull a cave-in in the brook. Seems that the brook floor acts exactly like the normal floor. I had built a couple of pumps in order to pull some water out and try to make a dam, as well as rescuing the miner I lost (or at least his things). Quite the beauty, 16 pumps, fed by three water-wheels and only using two gears.
Didn't work at all. Not sure if it was that the pumps weren't pulling the water fast enough, or if the draining system (a tunnel that drives into a small part in the north where there weren't many people) couldn't drain as fast as required. Anyway, Project Rescue went down the drain (pardon the pun).
Now, I have just found the magma sea, and am making plans to make an obsidian farm. Very easy, but somewhat slow, because I have to build a pump stack from level -62 to level -22 so that it isn't too far away from the rest of my fortress and building things fast isn't a forte of my dorfs. I plan to also use the Project Rescue thing to get enough water for the obsidian making. I have yet to know whether it will actually work, but water easily reaches its intended objective through a set of stairs (that I have to forbid so that the guys don't get drowned, though I could just erase the ramps in the higher part to prevent dorfs from taking that route at all).

Now, the facepalm: I see something walking over the outer bridge and decide to pull its lever to see it fly. I accidentally pull the level that engages the gear that activates Project Rescue, and suddenly I start getting messages of people not being able to bring something to the tomb.

Ending result: 4 dead guys. Not as impressive as some other things around here, but it's a first attempt :D.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on April 18, 2011, 07:23:21 pm
Earlier I had a dwarf go get a drink of ale as lava was rushing down the hallway behind him, cutting off his only escape a few seconds later.

It was fast.

Also, booze explosion of epic magnitude.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flying Dice on April 18, 2011, 07:50:24 pm
I'm just going to give a collective facepalm for everyone who has tried to raid my fortress now that I've got 6 legendary marksdwarves with masterwork crossbows watching the main entrance. They apparently shoot so fast that they literally blot out the sun; in a recent ambush there was an area of ~25 tiles that was nothing but flying bolts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on April 18, 2011, 08:10:30 pm
Guys, I'm not sure how, but I just hit semi-molten rock before hitting any caverns. I... think my staircase missed all three cavern levels.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dude_ftw@live.com on April 18, 2011, 09:50:28 pm
Quote from: Samuel on April 18, 2011, 08:10:30 pm
Guys, I'm not sure how, but I just hit semi-molten rock before hitting any caverns. I... think my staircase missed all three cavern levels.

Give. Me. Your. Save.

A.K.A. - NO cave plant life growing in your fortress
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scaraban on April 18, 2011, 09:51:40 pm
Quote from: Flying Dice on April 18, 2011, 07:50:24 pm
I'm just going to give a collective facepalm for everyone who has tried to raid my fortress now that I've got 6 legendary marksdwarves with masterwork crossbows watching the main entrance. They apparently shoot so fast that they literally blot out the sun; in a recent ambush there was an area of ~25 tiles that was nothing but flying bolts.
WIN
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on April 18, 2011, 09:55:45 pm
Quote from: dude_ftw@live.com on April 18, 2011, 09:50:28 pm
Quote from: Samuel on April 18, 2011, 08:10:30 pm
Guys, I'm not sure how, but I just hit semi-molten rock before hitting any caverns. I... think my staircase missed all three cavern levels.

Give. Me. Your. Save.

A.K.A. - NO cave plant life growing in your fortress

Too late, I found some caverns in an incident which alos involved all my miners limbs being broken. She's in the hospital, unable to stand, full of infection, and suffering severe blood loss. If she survives this thing, it'll be a miracle.

Also of note: I missed all three cavern layers, and the magma sea.

I have no idea how.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on April 18, 2011, 09:58:58 pm
Quote from: Scaraban on April 18, 2011, 09:51:40 pm
Quote from: Flying Dice on April 18, 2011, 07:50:24 pm
I'm just going to give a collective facepalm for everyone who has tried to raid my fortress now that I've got 6 legendary marksdwarves with masterwork crossbows watching the main entrance. They apparently shoot so fast that they literally blot out the sun; in a recent ambush there was an area of ~25 tiles that was nothing but flying bolts.
WIN
Yeah, I had a hoard of goblins do this to a single dwarf once. He dodged every bolt/arrow, but was ultimately killed when the leader (a lasher) showed up.  The thing that had me face palming though was the dwarf was continuing to dodge the projectiles when he was on the ground almost dead, but still couldn't dodge the dang whip.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chaoseed on April 19, 2011, 12:56:26 am
Quote from: Flying Dice on April 18, 2011, 07:50:24 pm
I'm just going to give a collective facepalm for everyone who has tried to raid my fortress now that I've got 6 legendary marksdwarves with masterwork crossbows watching the main entrance. They apparently shoot so fast that they literally blot out the sun; in a recent ambush there was an area of ~25 tiles that was nothing but flying bolts.
THEN WE FIGHT IN THE SHADE!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on April 19, 2011, 05:33:50 am
Quote from: dude_ftw@live.com on April 18, 2011, 09:50:28 pm
Give. Me. Your. Save.

A.K.A. - NO cave plant life growing in your fortress
It's not that unusual. If you reveal a map, there are usually isolated columns of solid rock from top to bottom. The hard part is getting enough of them to be able to thread a fortress through the stone, and without using dfreveal to deliberately avoid the caverns it's very unlikely you'll dig out a full fortress without hitting one.

If the attraction is not having stray spores in your dining room, then there are a couple of ways around that. First is to avoid soil entirely, second is to floor over all soil tiles to prevent plant growth.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on April 19, 2011, 07:22:14 am
I made a quick and dirty airlock system to get traders running to the depot without having access to my fortress (three military dwarves, yo). It consists of two bridges with the depot between them.

Code: [Select]

 _ b D b _ -> fortress
/#\_/#\_/#\

b = bridge
D = depot

Spot the mistake, folks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on April 19, 2011, 07:25:19 am
They'll just stop at the depot, making the second bridge redundant and useless.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on April 19, 2011, 08:03:45 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on April 19, 2011, 07:22:14 am
I made a quick and dirty airlock system to get traders running to the depot without having access to my fortress (three military dwarves, yo). It consists of two bridges with the depot between them.

Code: [Select]

 _ b D b _ -> fortress
/#\_/#\_/#\

b = bridge
D = depot

Spot the mistake, folks.
elite crossbowgoblins? Hidden ambush?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TomiTapio on April 19, 2011, 10:01:45 am
Quote from: GamerKnight on April 18, 2011, 02:24:37 am
TOO EASY FACEPALM
I'm abandoning after my second year because it's just too simple. Everyone is drafted the military and all are decked out in steel. All surfaces in the liviing quarters are gold, silver, copper and zinc. And finally, the circus was visited, and everyone whooped some clown ass. My squads are holding them at bay and the fort is still continuing as normal.
Congrats, you are ready to graduate into the Genesis mod. With 5-6 hostile civs. Triple siege and then you get an ambush squad in your stairwell at the same time.
Just don't chicken out and "build a wall to stop the six squads of siegers". The enemies have skill, body size and numbers advantage (3 squads on cave crocodile mounts). You have three kinds of steel and traps.

Victory is ten weapon traps -- but no! Some elite foes ignore traps and cast spells. And the traps get jammed with the enemy mounts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garbles on April 19, 2011, 02:18:34 pm
During my first successful fort, it took about 4 years for a Forgotten Beast to show up. I was super psyched,  because I knew my militia could handle it.It waited politely at the entrance to my fort, so I ordered my dorfs to group up at the other side of the door so they wouldn't trickle in one at a time and get picked off. I leaned back and prepared for the epic battle.

The first one to the room, the newest recruit and by far the least skilled, spots the mandibled flamingo through the door, rushes in, and pokes its brain in with his spear.

Next time I'm sending in the Swordmaster who got attached to a wooden sword.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beardless on April 19, 2011, 02:19:46 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on April 19, 2011, 07:22:14 am
I made a quick and dirty airlock system to get traders running to the depot without having access to my fortress (three military dwarves, yo). It consists of two bridges with the depot between them.

Code: [Select]

 _ b D b _ -> fortress
/#\_/#\_/#\

b = bridge
D = depot

Spot the mistake, folks.

Ramps.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on April 19, 2011, 03:02:34 pm
Indeed. Luckily, well-placed barracks, extreme training, and a lack of attribute rust won out against my lackadaisical approach to armouring, and later on one of my dwarves chased down four fleeing goblins in the length of one area tile. I built bolt-stopping pillars to protect you all, stop running out into the mountainous open you dumbass.

I currently have the attributes rates set to the values in the 'cheating' part of the wiki. I think I'll reduce the gain rate to 10, as my military are all Charles Atlas.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on April 19, 2011, 04:02:34 pm
The fate of my latest fortress after I accidentally breach the local magma pipe...

Magma + coal bunker = !!Bituminous Coal!!

!!Bituminous Coal!! + Dumb Dwarf = !!Dwarf!!

!!Dwarf!! + Ale stockpile = Booze explosion.

Booze explosion + !!Dwarf!! + 6 other dwarves = 7 dead dwarves.

7 dead dwarves = Tantrum spiral.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flying Dice on April 19, 2011, 07:33:17 pm
An axedwarf of mine just punched a tentacle off of a green devourer while holding it in his mouth...  ???
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Karnewarrior on April 19, 2011, 07:38:00 pm
how do you punch off a tentcle in the first place?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on April 19, 2011, 10:51:55 pm
Quote from: Karnewarrior on April 19, 2011, 07:38:00 pm
how do you punch off a tentcle in the first place?

From the sounds of it, you hold the tentacle in your mouth to keep it from moving. Then you punch. If this doesn't work you can play quite the amusing game of paddle ball until it does.

I notice dwarves really like to bite and shake lately. I had a couple of amusing sounding combat logs involving dwarves biting trolls and shaking them by their feet and one time where two dwarves bit onto a troll's ear... it was the same ear, but I like to imagine the troll walking around with a pair of literal dwarf earrings chomping on his lobes. Sometimes though, the log actually sounds like a decent tactic, like a dwarf who bit a goblin's arm and then used his sword to cut off the arm... seemingly without letting go of the bite. Other times you end up with dwarves biting onto things better left unbitten... like a elephant tusk or a kobold's front top tooth...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Syrup Roast on April 20, 2011, 04:34:15 am
Quote from: EmeraldWind on April 19, 2011, 10:51:55 pm
Other times you end up with dwarves biting onto things better left unbitten... like a elephant tusk or a kobold's front top tooth...
In the earlier days of my current fort, one of my dwarves bit a swamp titan in the mouth. From behind.

He might be referencing something there, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Karnewarrior on April 20, 2011, 06:27:20 am
Quote from: Syrup Roast on April 20, 2011, 04:34:15 am
Quote from: EmeraldWind on April 19, 2011, 10:51:55 pm
Other times you end up with dwarves biting onto things better left unbitten... like a elephant tusk or a kobold's front top tooth...
In the earlier days of my current fort, one of my dwarves bit a swamp titan in the mouth. From behind.

He might be referencing something there, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
2 Dwarves 1 Titan.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fahgo on April 20, 2011, 01:02:35 pm
discovering levers linked to cages will always open the cage no mater which way the lever is pulled (unlike with doors/bridges/etc).

finding this out after I'd linked the lever to a cage containing a Hydra. lukily the "Live Target Training Room" was next to my danger room. troops on hand to deal with my goof before any coffins were required. still... oops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on April 20, 2011, 03:13:12 pm
I am fairly certain my insane dwarves outnumber the sane ones.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkflagrance on April 20, 2011, 03:38:48 pm
Quote from: EmeraldWind on April 19, 2011, 10:51:55 pm
Other times you end up with dwarves biting onto things better left unbitten... like a elephant tusk or a kobold's front top tooth...

I just had my Great Badgerman in object arena mode rip out all of his opponent Pandashi's teeth...through biting!

Rough kissing, perhaps?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NightS on April 20, 2011, 04:20:09 pm
I just... killed a dragon bashing him in the face with my -Bronze shield-...

For fucks sake, it doesnt even menace with spikes, how the hell could my adventurer kill that with a single hit?

(Ok, he has superhuman strenght, and what? only a bronze colossus should be able to do that :P)

Also, i died later because a damn goblin bowman shot me in leg and i collapsed because of the pain. Then someone kicked my head to death. (what the hell, some damn hobo goblins kill the legendary adventurer because of that damn arrow?)

In conclussion: !!FUN!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on April 21, 2011, 08:33:25 am
Quote from: Karnewarrior on April 20, 2011, 06:27:20 am
Quote from: Syrup Roast on April 20, 2011, 04:34:15 am
Quote from: EmeraldWind on April 19, 2011, 10:51:55 pm
Other times you end up with dwarves biting onto things better left unbitten... like a elephant tusk or a kobold's front top tooth...
In the earlier days of my current fort, one of my dwarves bit a swamp titan in the mouth. From behind.

He might be referencing something there, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
2 Dwarves 1 Titan.

Thank you for causing me to require brain bleach. *shudders*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fahgo on April 21, 2011, 03:41:06 pm
so i've just had another siege.
first facepalm: i was going to let the goblins mince themselves on my traps again. one of my axe dwarves decided otherwise and wandered outside. so i order my squads to move inside to get the idiot to stop screwing up my plans. nope... spots a troll before getting the hint. gets stuck in a charge-stunned loop with the trolls. he's too stunned to kill them and his armour is too good for them to hurt him. the rest of the siege catches up so i decide to send out the rest of the squads. thus begins a gobbo massacre (damn that's gonna be a lot to clean up  ::) ). now... as my fort is on top of a volcanoe i've walled off a nice little battle area for just such an occasion. yeah... like they're gonna stay there for more than 10 seconds  ::) . for some reason the rest of the battle lands up being fought teetering on the edge of said volcanoe. not in any of the nice open space. nope that would be the safe and smart thing to do. and so...
second facepalm: as i'm sure you can guess... one of my hammer dwarves now needs a memorial. here's hoping my armour and weapon smiths dont start tantruming over all the kit he just took with him  >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garbles on April 21, 2011, 08:30:45 pm
Quote from: Fahgo on April 21, 2011, 03:41:06 pm
so i've just had another siege.
first facepalm: i was going to let the goblins mince themselves on my traps again. one of my axe dwarves decided otherwise and wandered outside. so i order my squads to move inside to get the idiot to stop screwing up my plans. nope... spots a troll before getting the hint. gets stuck in a charge-stunned loop with the trolls. he's too stunned to kill them and his armour is too good for them to hurt him. the rest of the siege catches up so i decide to send out the rest of the squads. thus begins a gobbo massacre (damn that's gonna be a lot to clean up  ::) ). now... as my fort is on top of a volcanoe i've walled off a nice little battle area for just such an occasion. yeah... like they're gonna stay there for more than 10 seconds  ::) . for some reason the rest of the battle lands up being fought teetering on the edge of said volcanoe. not in any of the nice open space. nope that would be the safe and smart thing to do. and so...
second facepalm: as i'm sure you can guess... one of my hammer dwarves now needs a memorial. here's hoping my armour and weapon smiths dont start tantruming over all the kit he just took with him  >:(
I've had that happen before. I got ambushed really early on a reclaim (hadn't even finished collecting the leftover stuff from outside) so I drafted two miners to sacrifice while the mason walled off the entrance. They actually caught two loners and didn't get scratched, and were doing well against the last four. Then the hammerdwarf got brained, and the axedwarf dodged into the volcano.

On the plus side, he spotted a adamantine vein before he melted completely.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on April 21, 2011, 11:36:50 pm
Quote from: Garbles on April 21, 2011, 08:30:45 pm
On the plus side, he spotted a adamantine vein before he melted completely.

Urist: Noooooooooo! It buuuuuuuuuuuuuurns! ... Waitasecond! HEY GUYS! THERE'S ADAMANTINE OVER THERE! PRAISE BE THE MINERS! *sizzle*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nasikabatrachus on April 22, 2011, 02:43:09 am
This just happened to me.

So I made a very twisty hallway between my fort proper and the caves, filled it with roughly 45 stone fall traps, put bridges at both ends of the hallway, and to set my plan in motion I mined away the last rock between the hallway and the cavern. Several "What THE SHI--" moments subsequently occurred.

1. The miner moves slowly along the hallway. The Forgotten Beast-- Sutu the Deep Barbs, a towering sauropod--moves in to attack the doors I set up as building destroyer bait at the end of the hallway. Turns out, he moves much faster than a dwarf. By the time the miner is almost home, Sutu is nearly upn him. And hey, what the--

2. The stone-fall traps aren't working. Not a single one activates. (In retrospect, I should have known, really.) Luckily the miner escaped, but what the--

3. A farmerdwarf enters the hallway. Oh man, I thought I turned off "auto collect webs," but apparently not. Get the heck out of there so I can raise the bridge, fool! More dwarves coming? What the--

4. As my oblivious dwarves retreat from the freaking brontosaurus, they open the doors, allowing the Forgotten Beast to move through some of them. But then my dwarves escape, so the potential disaster is averted for now. Please, Armok, let them pull the lever in time!

5. Some blue dwarf starts going into the hallway again, and is attacked by the beast. Oh well, it can probably get away, and even if it doesn't, surely it's not important. Hey, when is that bridge going to raise? Get out of there, Dorf! I don't think it's going to mak--

"Rakust Sakzullam, Stonecrafter, has been crushed by a drawbridge."

Rakust Sakzullam? You mean the legendary stonecrafter who has single-handedly produced perhaps nine-tenths of the exported wealth of this coal-less, iron-less, entire fort? THAT Rakust Sakzullam?

...

WHAT THE SHI-- (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rF9xMNuAfwE)


The thing that puzzles me the most is why she was there to begin with. She was set up in a craftsdwarf's shop on a layer full of marble rocks. The path between her and the nearest marble was much shorter than whatever was in that hallway. She can't have been trying to collect webs. Was she trying to get some gabbro? Just going for a stroll in the cave with the Diplodocus?

Sigh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on April 22, 2011, 03:46:17 pm
Quote from: Nasikabatrachus on April 22, 2011, 02:43:09 am
This just happened to me.

So I made a very twisty hallway between my fort proper and the caves, filled it with roughly 45 stone fall traps, put bridges at both ends of the hallway, and to set my plan in motion I mined away the last rock between the hallway and the cavern. Several "What THE SHI--" moments subsequently occurred.

1. The miner moves slowly along the hallway. The Forgotten Beast-- Sutu the Deep Barbs, a towering sauropod--moves in to attack the doors I set up as building destroyer bait at the end of the hallway. Turns out, he moves much faster than a dwarf. By the time the miner is almost home, Sutu is nearly upn him. And hey, what the--

2. The stone-fall traps aren't working. Not a single one activates. (In retrospect, I should have known, really.) Luckily the miner escaped, but what the--

3. A farmerdwarf enters the hallway. Oh man, I thought I turned off "auto collect webs," but apparently not. Get the heck out of there so I can raise the bridge, fool! More dwarves coming? What the--

4. As my oblivious dwarves retreat from the freaking brontosaurus, they open the doors, allowing the Forgotten Beast to move through some of them. But then my dwarves escape, so the potential disaster is averted for now. Please, Armok, let them pull the lever in time!

5. Some blue dwarf starts going into the hallway again, and is attacked by the beast. Oh well, it can probably get away, and even if it doesn't, surely it's not important. Hey, when is that bridge going to raise? Get out of there, Dorf! I don't think it's going to mak--

"Rakust Sakzullam, Stonecrafter, has been crushed by a drawbridge."

Rakust Sakzullam? You mean the legendary stonecrafter who has single-handedly produced perhaps nine-tenths of the exported wealth of this coal-less, iron-less, entire fort? THAT Rakust Sakzullam?

...

WHAT THE SHI-- (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rF9xMNuAfwE)


The thing that puzzles me the most is why she was there to begin with. She was set up in a craftsdwarf's shop on a layer full of marble rocks. The path between her and the nearest marble was much shorter than whatever was in that hallway. She can't have been trying to collect webs. Was she trying to get some gabbro? Just going for a stroll in the cave with the Diplodocus?

Sigh.
He probably wanted to go see Jurassic Park. Four miles below the surface of the world.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: swampwater on April 22, 2011, 07:11:25 pm
I just had a great teachable moment happen in my current fort- the first lesson being that when your ambitious tower that expands in width as it gets taller overhangs your windmill, the wind gets blocked and kills your power. Oops. So when I went to backtrack and dismantle the offending tower wall, lesson 2 reared it's ugly head. I discovered 7 z-layers is the crucial distance to turn a serpentine block from a simple falling hazard to a 3-z-level piercing missle.  The blocks drilled through the ground on either side of my trade depot, through my finished good stockpiles, bonecarving and blockmaking workshops (knocking a hole in the floor deletes a stockpile, lesson 2a), and came to rest amid a pile of bones and stones in my throne room. My duchess was somewhere down there and got all her arms and legs broken and busted open, along with a bunch of dust-choked kids- since it was all pretty non-essential personnel I had to laugh, even though they're all now filling up my hospital, just when my elite squad got banged up by a massive siege that happened along before the dust had even settled. Maybe they heard the boom? :) 
One curious thing was some kind of message about magma as the blocks punched through- apparently flying blocks hitting rock layers results in instant melting? i don't remember the message exactly as I got covered up in combat spam pretty quickly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Frango Nicolbidok on April 22, 2011, 09:45:25 pm
Dwarf 1: Hey guise, let's all walk over to the garbage chute together to throw our crap away!
Dwarf 2: Off to pull the lever...

That day, 2 dwarves 'died after colliding with another object.' Facepalm

One other was mortally wounded.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dragonfel on April 23, 2011, 11:27:29 am
Found a perfect place to build my mega-city. Great ore, flux stone, river, sand, clay and plenty of trees. To top it all off, there was even a carnival tent. So the first 2 years go by just fine, I created wealth slowly to avoid getting too many goblins too quickly. And all of a sudden, a Cyclops loads up on the map. Well no worries, I have some 7 military dwarves who have been training for a year! Turns out they where no match for it... 7 dead, cyclops eventually taken down by war polar bears.

Autumn comes, and to rebuild my military in short order I decided to build a danger room with 5 spears per trap. Haven't had time to sort out and draft anyone besides my new Military Commander but she's already adept or  skilled in combat now. Caravan shows up, ambush shows up. I send the new MC out and she turns goblins into meat patties with her war hammer. A second ambush shows up and she kills all but one of them before she makes an evasion roll or something off a cliff. Broke both legs! Drafted the miners to go outside and kill the last goblin who was unconscious so I could recover her. Third ambush group shows up and murders 4/5 of my legendary miners plus the MC. 13 dead and still rising...

Last ditch effort to rebuild my military, I drafted random dwarfs who didn't have overly important jobs and sent them into the danger room. Big mistake, 3 of them where women who had recently given birth and where carrying their children. I think the messages I got where something like "Dwarfbaby1 has died. Impaled on training spear." So now I've got a bloody mess outside, a danger room filled with upset dwarves covered in the blood of their babies, and a caravan that's getting upset because I won't let them out. The new military is having a tantrum and group of rhesus macaque are stealing the socks off my dead dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Togre on April 24, 2011, 03:49:49 pm
Why aren't all those idle dwarfs carrying that wood to the stock pile?  :'( I've chopped down a whole forest and it just sits there?  I need it to make beds and stuff.

Well, at least those walls I told them to build to protect my grazing animals from animals finally got built.

Now where is the staircase into my fortress again.  It should be right about...

Oh wait...

<facepalm>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fahgo on April 24, 2011, 04:05:51 pm
the Queen has arrived! huzzah!

so i make her some nice rooms with ensuite suicide booth relaxation chamber. put in a magma bubble bath proof door and designate a hole in the side of the volcanoe jacuzzi. apparently legendary miners cant outrun hot magma water if there is a door in the way. luckily i've got 5 more.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on April 24, 2011, 09:08:00 pm
Yet another instance of worlds without vital items, my current world does not have cave wheat. At all, I've scoured the underground, begged traders, everybody, it does not exist at all in this world. I can do without, of course, but the fact remains, WTF?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: panicDog on April 25, 2011, 12:16:17 am
Quote from: Dragonfel on April 23, 2011, 11:27:29 am
cyclops eventually taken down by war polar bears.

is your fortress on the island from LOST?

I have too many to remember, but my first embark ever was in the middle of a rocky wasteland! What's that? Bring wood? You think I "prepared carefully" for my first embark? OF COURSE NOT!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheDeathMind on April 25, 2011, 09:17:58 am
Quote from: EmeraldWind on April 21, 2011, 11:36:50 pm
Quote from: Garbles on April 21, 2011, 08:30:45 pm
On the plus side, he spotted a adamantine vein before he melted completely.

Urist: Noooooooooo! It buuuuuuuuuuuuuurns! ... Waitasecond! HEY GUYS! THERE'S ADAMANTINE OVER THERE! PRAISE BE THE MINERS! *sizzle*

sigged.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MythagoWoods on April 25, 2011, 05:27:31 pm
I just learned when replacing/swapping military squads... that when you're forcing encouraging dwarves to join a squad if you look at their name you also see if they are already in a military squad and which one.  Man... that saves me a lotta trouble with replacing my replacements when I accidently placed them in a squad thus taking them from their original.

Only took me since 31.25, and 3 forts within, to figure it out!  I'm an idjit. :\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on April 25, 2011, 08:56:23 pm
My fortress may be destroyed by the small hole in the caverns. It's apparently inescapable, what with the water flowing into it, but I swear the dwarves are running straight at it and jumping in. At least my new chief medical dwarf has lots of patients to practice on.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TanSerrai on April 26, 2011, 02:22:55 pm
30+ year old fortress, getting big and....well....complicated. lots of different walkways, overly ambitiously large central cavern, main hallways, power-transmission tunnels, magma tunnels, water tunnels, military-only-access tunnels, water drainage tunnels, magma drainage tunnels....you get the idea.

The result being that every now and then a goblin thief shows up, managing to find another hole into my fortress. So far so good. Now my military is pretty tough by now but I never realized just _how_ callus they got while being....rather good with blades.

So - while not exactly a facepalm, I still learned something: while a squad was happily rushing towards the outside to confront a goblin ambush, they stumble upon a goblin thief within the fortress. The dwarf who spotted the thief dispatched him before any other dwarf (being right next to her) even got a hit in. Not to mention the thief. Now the beauty is in _how_ the thief got killed: Five moves: 1) hit at left ear (cartilage torn, imagine left hand to move to left ear, right hand out to balance) 2) right lower arm lopped off. 3) Right ear hit (cartilage torn, once again distracted, left hand out for balance) 4) left lower arm lopped off. 5) I now imagine a short pause, her fixing the thiefs eyes while grinning - head lopped off.

Done while running past the thief. The whole squad was practically past the dead goblin before his arms fell on the floor. I think I'll be rather nice to my military from now on, wouldn't want to meet them even while in good mood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Frelock on April 26, 2011, 09:54:43 pm
I've got a volcano on my map, which is flat save for the volcano's sudden peak.  So I'm leveling that peak.  Unfortunately, I was in need of metal, and I went for some of the tetrahydrate veins sticking out the side.  I completely forgot to account for this two years later when I reach that level.  Cave-in, miner into the volcano.  He was also a very promising recruit in the militia.  RIP, Jenkins.  !!SCIENCE!! reveals to me that falling objects/creatures are not effected by magma until they reach a floor somewhere.  Also, it was definitely the magma that killed him(death by bleeding), not the ~100z-level fall(15 of those above the magma). On the plus side,
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Another fun fact discovered while reading the logs, between the point of the cave in and Jenkins' death, a dog was slaughtered, the above announcement was made, and a full 62 people canceled their job of feeding their pets because their animals were inaccessible.  Next time, atom-smasher in the pasture, not starvation.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garbles on April 27, 2011, 03:03:43 am
Obviously we need to figure out a consistent means of throwing migrant High Master Animal Caretakers into volcanoes so we can get a bead on the adamantine under there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on April 27, 2011, 07:55:26 am
Long ago I built a flush trap to deal with invading FBs. When activated it sends a large flow of water across the only path tostairs down into the caverns, knocking any aggressors into a deep pit with a bronze colossus at the bottom. Excess water drains into the caverns to stop the pit filling up.

First FB finally shows up, so I activate it: First facepalm - the delay on the trap is enough for the FB to get in unscathed. Second facepalm - my big cavern stairway is very close to the outflow, and on that level, has just an open doorway...

So now I can't reach my excavations in the third cavern layer, because my stairs are flooded :S
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tahlin on April 27, 2011, 03:27:49 pm
I've only played a small time, so not many facepalm moments. But, when i saw my first snatcher. I pressed V and changed ALL my units into military to fend off the siege Alone Unarmed Old Goblin. :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Devling on April 27, 2011, 06:39:53 pm
Quote from: Tahlin on April 27, 2011, 03:27:49 pm
I've only played a small time, so not many facepalm moments. But, when i saw my first snatcher. I pressed V and changed ALL my units into military to fend off the siege Alone Unarmed Old Goblin. :D
:P HERP A DERP?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on April 27, 2011, 09:52:00 pm
A human law-giver decided to chill in my hospital pool for about a year.
Apparently his bath wasn't that great, because he flipped out and killed a brewer with his deadly spittle.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fireborn on April 28, 2011, 12:16:25 am
Face palming moments...

Probably common, but my biggest one is forgetting to set the raise direction on a bridge when building it.

Had it happen a couple times after specifically deconstructing the previous bridge in that location to rebuild it as a raising bridge.  :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CapnUrist on April 28, 2011, 04:32:57 am
Went to dig a new section for magma smelters, to speed up my steel production.

Failed to notice that the channeled square on one of the spots dug into the wall of my chicken coop.

Managed to contain the magma flood to the bird coop, losing all of my poultry (five different flavors, some 100 animals lost), eggs, a high number of prepared meals, and the spare cages for my trap outside, as well as a miner and two children.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: synkell on April 28, 2011, 11:36:23 am
Embarked on a cold biome, next to a river. Decided to dam a area of it to myself, after construction , I realised that the river will be frozen all year round.............
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadenight123 on April 28, 2011, 11:51:10 am
Quote from: synkell on April 28, 2011, 11:36:23 am
Embarked on a cold biome, next to a river. Decided to dam a area of it to myself, after construction , I realised that the river will be frozen all year round.............

apply magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on April 29, 2011, 04:17:32 am
Vented excess magma from my used magma piston, in order to retrieve the refilling pumps for other uses.
 Put the outlet vent too close to the water reactor.

!!screw pump!! ensued.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on April 29, 2011, 04:43:54 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on April 27, 2011, 09:52:00 pm
A human law-giver decided to chill in my hospital pool for about a year.
Apparently his bath wasn't that great, because he flipped out and killed a brewer with his deadly spittle.

Humans can do that?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on April 29, 2011, 06:33:10 pm
He was a chameleon demon who convinced the humans he was a god of suicide.
He was actually a pretty awesome dude, one of my most successful adventurers retired in the fortress he was living in.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on April 29, 2011, 08:49:31 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on April 29, 2011, 06:33:10 pm
He was a chameleon demon who convinced the humans he was a god of suicide.
Emo approves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rellik242 on April 29, 2011, 11:35:29 pm
One of my Many Face Palm moments,

I had a nice fort going, for about three years. I had a good defensive system going, using halls of traps. I also had a decently equipped military, to boot. I hadn't gotten sieged yet, so I was expecting it. It finally showed up, Four Squads of well-equipped Goblins, and a squad of Trolls. I was ready for it, though. I scrambled the military to the area just past the traps (In case anyone got by) Well, the Siege started. And I unpaused. And waited. And waited. Nothing was coming to the gates. I was confused. Then all of a sudden, a got an announcement telling me a peasant died. I zoomed over to it, and it was at this point I face palmed. While digging out stock piles in the soft soil layers, I accidentally dug a hole in my fort. There was a corner exposed to the outside. The entire siege got in. Well, at that point I ordered all the civilian's into a burrow, and charged my military. I it went surprisingly well. I only lost about 5 civilians, and 7 military. I had about 40 Military. The Siege was completely butchered, and my Fort lived on. The end result wasn't so bad, but still, that was one of my biggest face-palm moments.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: synkell on April 30, 2011, 05:00:34 am
In my tundra fort , ( havnt found any magma yet any way ), dug a 10 z level dodge-me trap pit. After 3 years of sieges while playing fortress defence mod , I realise theres about 60 tigermen , frogmen and goblins in the pit.... And my current population is only 37. And I have no way of getting rid of them  :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadenight123 on April 30, 2011, 05:18:13 am
cave them in through artificial cave-ins.
or wait for a FB to appear next to them.

Face palm:
Urist mcswordyandironarmour: Go kill yak COW on top of our walls!
Yak cow: MOOOOoooo
*they ran and ran in circles on top of my freaking walls for half and hour.
*finally cornered her by removing one of my walls sections...
Urist mcswordy: going for a drink boss...
*yak cow escapes...
WTF.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RTiger on April 30, 2011, 07:16:23 am
Face palm, but on a good way.

I got a FB message. It was a leech with deadly dust. I already knew that this was going to be FUN, looking at it. Not long after it appeared, it moved closer to where I had sealed the cavern breech. There was a small camp of cave swallow men there.

FB vs 5 Cave swallow man

FB got in close, and the birds started with blowguns and nether cap darts. When the beast got close, it unleashed that dust attack, filling pretty much the entire screen with dust and blocking vision. The facepalm came when the dust cleared. The FB looked like it had been thrown aside and was dead. More then that, none of the birds had been wounded.

All this happened in a single day.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EveryZig on April 30, 2011, 03:21:52 pm
Inspired by the story of battlefailed, I embarked on a terrifying desert next to a terrifying ocean. I had heard that undead were much weaker in recent versions, and have also seen that in the hands of skilled dwarfs a pickaxe is a very good weapon (slightly better than a battleaxe (at least against dwarfs)). I found out that being a proficient miner is not that useful if your dwarves lack any other combat skills. And that skeletal camels are still crazy tough.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SlimyMarmot on May 01, 2011, 07:39:00 pm
I was just doing a test on a kind of magma weapon, and it being successful I order the gearbox lever to be pulled. What happens? A fucking horse comes out of nowhere, runs straight into my fort, murders one of the starting seven who was going to pull the lever and scares everyone off. Now I'm being flooded with magma and my military is chasing that little shit round and round. Then an elven caravan arrives... this conspiracy will burn, literally.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sarda on May 01, 2011, 09:57:58 pm
Shame you didn't unleash the HFS as you did that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serrational on May 02, 2011, 04:38:11 am
Soo.. a horse came out of nowhere and kicked the hell out of a dwarf?
And you were surprised at the disguised malevolence of this game?
Well, if it involves elf-burning, then it can't be ALL bad...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on May 02, 2011, 11:13:10 am
My first death was due to my channeling not being careful enough; a miner fell a bit farther than was healthy, broke in bits, and eventually suffocated because he couldn't breathe anymore. Guy got two statues, a slab, a coffin and his grave-room has a masterwork marble door. A bit later my expedition leader fell in a similar occurrence and broke his leg. Two facepalms.

LUCKILY this man is a hero and he's gone back to mining. With a broken leg. And a fish dissector who got wounded due to an Elk bird is walking around doing whatever job she finds despite her health screen saying she lost her ability to stand. Two niceties. Edit; add one minor facepalm; the expedition leader is going to hospital anyway but he didn't do so before BECAUSE HE COULDN'T LEAVE WHAT HE'D FALLEN INTO.

And a 'glazer' turned secretive! I don't even have a glas furnace or a kiln or whatever they use yet. Facepalm. D: Glass furnace (and kiln) built and taken over. The glazer wants glass. I don't even have sand. Hopefully, not likely, the Dwarf caravan arrives soon and with some sand.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnrealJake on May 02, 2011, 11:43:11 am
Quote from: FrisianDude on May 02, 2011, 11:13:10 am
eventually suffocated because he couldn't breathe anymore.

Yup, that sounds like suffocation to me!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on May 02, 2011, 12:46:27 pm
Heh, yes, I wanted to explain his death. :P

Anyway; the glazer has gone stark raving mad. I'd walled him in but forgot to lock the door. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on May 02, 2011, 12:56:33 pm
Quote from: FrisianDude on May 02, 2011, 12:46:27 pm
Heh, yes, I wanted to explain his death. :P

Anyway; the glazer has gone stark raving mad. I'd walled him in but forgot to lock the door. :(

Dwarves that goes stark raving mad are harmless. It's the berserk ones you've got to worry about. Stark raving mad dwarves just run around naked, babbling like idiots.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: palsch on May 02, 2011, 01:12:47 pm
Quote from: Vorthon on May 02, 2011, 12:56:33 pm
Dwarves that goes stark raving mad are harmless. It's the berserk ones you've got to worry about. Stark raving mad dwarves just run around naked, babbling like idiots.
And not doing anything else.

You know, just to distinguish them from every other dwarf in a mature fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fahgo on May 02, 2011, 04:28:50 pm
A facepalm not for the stupidity of my dwarves this time. not me doing something daft (well, a little but it did no harm). no, this facepalm goes out to the most pathetic dragon attack i've ever seen:

so i get the usual "a Dragon Has Come! WE'RE ALL DOOOOMED!" message. i think "hmmm... traps should get him. but the traders will probably leave at the wrong time and get slaughterd. better close the gate". i order the lever pulled... and nothing. forgot to re-attach it to the drawbridge (minor facepalm). set that order going, saw the dragon was about to walk onto the traps. so, to be safe, i was about to order one of my squads to the front door. dragon had stepped on the first trap and died. thinking that was a bit quick i checked the battle log:
"Spinning *menace copper spike* strikes The Dragon in the head, tearing the muscle, chipping the skull and tearing the brain!"
"A tendon in the skull has been torn!"
"The Dragon has been knocked unconcious!"
that was it. first trap, 1 hit, dead. even the goblins last longer than that! i expected it to at least suffer some horrible wounds first.  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on May 02, 2011, 04:46:10 pm
Quote from: Vorthon on May 02, 2011, 12:56:33 pm

Dwarves that goes stark raving mad are harmless. It's the berserk ones you've got to worry about. Stark raving mad dwarves just run around naked, babbling like idiots.
I know, but if he'd gone Berserk I'd at least could have had my militia dice him. Now I ended up locking him in a room which turned out to be his own.

I'm doing a new fort again now, though, I like starting over. :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on May 02, 2011, 05:24:19 pm
Barely-pubescent mayor wants billon items. By the time I get around to meet her mandate, I'm actually one day too late, and my butcher is jailed. When he gets out, he dies of dehydration. Alright, fair game, I guess. Even though she demanded a billon table in his office at the same time, and I think a second season in a 100-dorfs fort is way too early for such demands, but hey, it's challenging, right?
Mayor then prohibits export of iron items. No worry, I haven't found a single ore of iron on the map yet, and I never export that anyway. A caravan comes, I trade tons of crafts for stuff, the usual deal.
The merchants pack up their new stuff. The mayor switches the iron ban for a crown ban. The merchants leave the map with the many crafts. Suddenly, 3 random dorfs are owed a beating*, and 4 others are jailed. One of them is a soldier.
And I'm sure she's doing it on purpose.
I fucking hate teenagers.
One more evil mandate. One more. And I release wild badgers in her dining room. And yaks. Badgers and yaks.


EDIT: she was eaten by a Forgotten Beast on fighting duties. I may or may not have had anything to do with the decision to put her shooting skills to good use and enroll her.



*they survived because I'm savvy enough to assign marksdwarfs with wooden crossbows to the post of captain of the guard. Two still ended up at the hospital, with a risk of sudden deadly infection.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Devling on May 02, 2011, 10:40:11 pm
Quote from: Musashi on May 02, 2011, 05:24:19 pm
Barely-pubescent mayor wants billon items. By the time I get around to meet his mandate, I'm actually one day too late, and my butcher is jailed. When he gets out, he dies of dehydration. Alright, fair game, I guess. Even though he demanded a billon table in his office at the same time, and I think a second season in a 100-dorfs fort is way too early for such demands, but hey, it's challenging, right?
Mayor then prohibits export of iron items. No worry, I haven't found a single ore of iron on the map yet, and I never export that anyway. A caravan comes, I trade tons of crafts for stuff, the usual deal.
The merchants pack up their new stuff. The mayor switches the iron ban for a crown ban. The merchants leave the map with the many crafts. Suddenly, 3 random dorfs are owed a beating*, and 4 others are jailed. One of them is a soldier.
And I'm sure he's doing it on purpose.
I fucking hate teenagers.
One more evil mandate. One more. And I release wild badgers in his dining room. And yaks. Badgers and yaks.



*they survived because I'm savvy enough to assign marksdwarfs with wooden crossbows to the post of captain of the guard. Two still ended up at the hospital, with a risk of sudden deadly infection.
You're doing the right thing...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on May 03, 2011, 03:22:25 am
I started a new fort again yesterday evening and kinda forgot how dangerous it is to channel three levels in one go. Both my miners in an 11-dorf fortress are now hospitalized.  :'(


The miner is infected, the expedition leader got back on his feet and at work and he promptly caused his return to hospital again.

By falling in the same way. I suck with moats. :(

Meanwhile my legendary engraver has engraved the dining room and two thirds of the living quarters. :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Syrup Roast on May 03, 2011, 03:51:23 am
Quote from: Vorthon on May 02, 2011, 12:56:33 pm
Stark raving mad dwarves just run around naked, babbling like idiots.
Don't normal dwarves do that on a regular basis?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: phoenixuk on May 03, 2011, 05:27:29 am
Only recently realised that dwarves will pick a bedroom for themselves once generated... i've been manually assigning bedrooms to my dwarves up until now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Valguris on May 03, 2011, 07:19:50 am
Quote from: phoenixuk on May 03, 2011, 05:27:29 am
Only recently realised that dwarves will pick a bedroom for themselves once generated... i've been manually assigning bedrooms to my dwarves up until now.
THEY DO?!
*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadenight123 on May 03, 2011, 08:22:58 am
Quote from: Valguris on May 03, 2011, 07:19:50 am
Quote from: phoenixuk on May 03, 2011, 05:27:29 am
Only recently realised that dwarves will pick a bedroom for themselves once generated... i've been manually assigning bedrooms to my dwarves up until now.
THEY DO?!
*facepalm*

you're not alone bro, you're not alone *hugs in understandment*

i was preparing myself for a siege, building towers, walls the likes of which you've never seen, enormous moats...and had the stupid idea of putting "fire at will" to the ballistas and catapults.
which meant that many, many dwarfs who were farming in the open fields, or the woodcutters, who had the bad idea of placing themselves near or on the trajectory to wild beasts...died.
and all before the siege took place.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: VonCede on May 03, 2011, 01:36:15 pm
Map without sand.

So I finaly find the magma some 100z down and make my all magma indrusty down there. With the nice dropdown dump chute that I can use to dump all the ore, flux and charcoal down. And all the sandbags I bought from the merchants.

And the dwarfs dump the sand and the bags in the garbage dump.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bobhayes on May 03, 2011, 02:51:40 pm
Quote from: Valguris on May 03, 2011, 07:19:50 am
Quote from: phoenixuk on May 03, 2011, 05:27:29 am
Only recently realised that dwarves will pick a bedroom for themselves once generated... i've been manually assigning bedrooms to my dwarves up until now.
THEY DO?!
*facepalm*

Don't feel too bad, I'd gone through a dozen fortresses - many with walls all the way around the map - before realizing that you don't have to build walls one tile at a time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The Scout on May 03, 2011, 03:49:57 pm
Quote from: bobhayes on May 03, 2011, 02:51:40 pm
Quote from: Valguris on May 03, 2011, 07:19:50 am
Quote from: phoenixuk on May 03, 2011, 05:27:29 am
Only recently realised that dwarves will pick a bedroom for themselves once generated... i've been manually assigning bedrooms to my dwarves up until now.
THEY DO?!
*facepalm*

Don't feel too bad, I'd gone through a dozen fortresses - many with walls all the way around the map - before realizing that you don't have to build walls one tile at a time.
So, I make a bedroom and they'll just claim it without my advice? HELL YEAH
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MythagoWoods on May 03, 2011, 09:54:54 pm
As long as you designate it as a bedroom then they'll take it.  Otherwise they'll just take turns sleeping in it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ExdeathV on May 03, 2011, 10:41:58 pm
Alright. I've been having my fort run for many years right now. Everything is running smoothly, people are happy, mandates are being met, and there have been some purposely made unfortunate accidents happening to the nobles (although some civilians have been caught in the chaos i.e the magma bedroom, spear dining room, the throne room of doom.) Much to my dismay, some nobles are coming in to replace the dead. I figure I get everything back in order but as my mining expedition comes closer to the circus, nobles are now bitching about getting items from stones or metal I don't have enough of. Dwarves are being punished and most of my miners are in that group, so I decide to assign the nobles to replace them. After a few minutes of waiting, I get the message I've been waiting for, the discovery of the circus. I don't give them a way out and let them release the clowns. As I laughed at them dieing and running around, I forget to block the hole they've been digging out. The clowns began their show and all were invited to see. Soon, my fortress crumbled. It was good day at The Bell of Air ran by the Fresh Prince
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: phoenixuk on May 04, 2011, 06:12:29 am
Quote from: The Scout on May 03, 2011, 03:49:57 pm
Quote from: bobhayes on May 03, 2011, 02:51:40 pm
Quote from: Valguris on May 03, 2011, 07:19:50 am
Quote from: phoenixuk on May 03, 2011, 05:27:29 am
Only recently realised that dwarves will pick a bedroom for themselves once generated... i've been manually assigning bedrooms to my dwarves up until now.
THEY DO?!
*facepalm*
Basically you just need to dig out the rooms, stick the bed in, make it a bedroom, and they'll work out who sleeps where themselves. This one bit of noobism has cost me hours of play time as i manually assigned each and every immigrant a room. It also screwed up the room assigments when the mayor switched, as you'd have to go manually find the new mayors room to free it up, or he'd have two bedrooms :P When i found out they find a room themselves i facepalmed so hard i left a ring imprint in my eyebrow.
Don't feel too bad, I'd gone through a dozen fortresses - many with walls all the way around the map - before realizing that you don't have to build walls one tile at a time.
So, I make a bedroom and they'll just claim it without my advice? HELL YEAH
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Karnewarrior on May 04, 2011, 06:27:18 am
Quote from: phoenixuk on May 04, 2011, 06:12:29 am
Quote from: The Scout on May 03, 2011, 03:49:57 pm
Quote from: bobhayes on May 03, 2011, 02:51:40 pm
Quote from: Valguris on May 03, 2011, 07:19:50 am
Quote from: phoenixuk on May 03, 2011, 05:27:29 am
Only recently realised that dwarves will pick a bedroom for themselves once generated... i've been manually assigning bedrooms to my dwarves up until now.
THEY DO?!
*facepalm*
Basically you just need to dig out the rooms, stick the bed in, make it a bedroom, and they'll work out who sleeps where themselves. This one bit of noobism has cost me hours of play time as i manually assigned each and every immigrant a room. It also screwed up the room assigments when the mayor switched, as you'd have to go manually find the new mayors room to free it up, or he'd have two bedrooms :P When i found out they find a room themselves i facepalmed so hard i left a ring imprint in my eyebrow.
Don't feel too bad, I'd gone through a dozen fortresses - many with walls all the way around the map - before realizing that you don't have to build walls one tile at a time.
So, I make a bedroom and they'll just claim it without my advice? HELL YEAH
They do that with any room they can, assuming they have reason to use it in the first place.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on May 04, 2011, 08:21:55 am
Spent days of work creating a magma piston, carving out magma forges, pumping the surprisingly small amount of magma over to my minimally-sized cistern (more like a set of trenches)...

There are a few rogue 3/7s left to screw up the forges. Nearest magma is 35 Z levels down...

For the first and hopefully last time ever, it's time to reach for dfliquids...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on May 04, 2011, 10:28:07 am
A woodcutter named Kel Asnoglesh was savaged in the first cavern by a Draltha. (Which surprised me because I'd seen them as subterranean cattle!) Guess what 'Asnoglesh' means?

Spoiler: That's right! (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on May 04, 2011, 10:34:11 am
Quote from: FrisianDude on May 04, 2011, 10:28:07 am
A woodcutter named Kel Asnoglesh was savaged in the first cavern by a Draltha. (Which surprised me because I'd seen them as subterranean cattle!) Guess what 'Asnoglesh' means?

Spoiler: That's right! (click to show/hide)

The spinning pun strikes the Forumite in the head, bruising the skull and bruising the brain!

The forumite gives in to pain.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serrational on May 04, 2011, 10:56:53 am
Quote from: FrisianDude on May 04, 2011, 10:28:07 am
A woodcutter named Kel Asnoglesh was savaged in the first cavern by a Draltha. (Which surprised me because I'd seen them as subterranean cattle!) Guess what 'Asnoglesh' means?

Spoiler: That's right! (click to show/hide)
To be fair, "cave cattle" ain't too far off.
Just a malajusted giant cave-mammoth off...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on May 04, 2011, 11:55:37 am
Quote from: Serrational on May 04, 2011, 10:56:53 am
Quote from: FrisianDude on May 04, 2011, 10:28:07 am
A woodcutter named Kel Asnoglesh was savaged in the first cavern by a Draltha. (Which surprised me because I'd seen them as subterranean cattle!) Guess what 'Asnoglesh' means?

Spoiler: That's right! (click to show/hide)
To be fair, "cave cattle" ain't too far off.
Just a malajusted giant cave-mammoth off...
I picture them as a mix between elephants and cows, with a long back so they can lean up and graze on higher tower-cap leaves.

And I picture them with a dark rust color for their fur, so they can blend in with the minerals.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on May 04, 2011, 11:57:03 am
Quote from: Necro910 on May 04, 2011, 11:55:37 am
Quote from: Serrational on May 04, 2011, 10:56:53 am
Quote from: FrisianDude on May 04, 2011, 10:28:07 am
A woodcutter named Kel Asnoglesh was savaged in the first cavern by a Draltha. (Which surprised me because I'd seen them as subterranean cattle!) Guess what 'Asnoglesh' means?

Spoiler: That's right! (click to show/hide)
To be fair, "cave cattle" ain't too far off.
Just a malajusted giant cave-mammoth off...
I picture them as a mix between elephants and cows, with a long back so they can lean up and graze on higher tower-cap leaves.

And I picture them with a dark rust color for their fur, so they can blend in with the minerals.

IIRC, the raws define them as having yellowish fur.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on May 04, 2011, 01:48:01 pm
Quote from: FrisianDude on May 04, 2011, 10:28:07 am
A woodcutter named Kel Asnoglesh was savaged in the first cavern by a Draltha. (Which surprised me because I'd seen them as subterranean cattle!) Guess what 'Asnoglesh' means?

Spoiler: That's right! (click to show/hide)


This guy is not in a secretive mood. He is hopping to gather resources. Hoooooly shit. What a dude.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on May 04, 2011, 01:48:51 pm
Quote from: Vorthon on May 04, 2011, 11:57:03 am
Quote from: Necro910 on May 04, 2011, 11:55:37 am
Quote from: Serrational on May 04, 2011, 10:56:53 am
Quote from: FrisianDude on May 04, 2011, 10:28:07 am
A woodcutter named Kel Asnoglesh was savaged in the first cavern by a Draltha. (Which surprised me because I'd seen them as subterranean cattle!) Guess what 'Asnoglesh' means?

Spoiler: That's right! (click to show/hide)
To be fair, "cave cattle" ain't too far off.
Just a malajusted giant cave-mammoth off...
I picture them as a mix between elephants and cows, with a long back so they can lean up and graze on higher tower-cap leaves.

And I picture them with a dark rust color for their fur, so they can blend in with the minerals.

IIRC, the raws define them as having yellowish fur.
Yup, I just checked and it's yellowish. I still like to think the dark rust color though. Somehow a giant piss mat doesn't seem very amazing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zephyr_hound on May 04, 2011, 04:47:55 pm
Turns out while throwing invader blizzardmen in the magma moat is admittedly funny, said blizzardmen don't actually die from being on fire, nor do they path out of the moat via the ramps. Oh man the smoke...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Antonater on May 04, 2011, 05:06:57 pm
At the very start i had no idea what aqufiers were and so i spent my first 3 years trying to drain what i thought was a huge lake, in the en i had about 100 tiles of aquifier firing water across the map when i found out, i had about 2fps with 20 dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: aaOzymandias on May 05, 2011, 05:44:06 am
Quote from: ZachUSAman on April 16, 2011, 04:26:31 pm
1. didnt know you could zoom through Z levels with hotkeys.. and I'm a guy who always builds forts deep underground and manages the moving from top to bottom.


you can!?!?


That makes navigating my 100 z level mining shaft down to magma sooo much easier :S
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zwei on May 05, 2011, 06:12:37 am
Quote from: aaOzymandias on May 05, 2011, 05:44:06 am
Quote from: ZachUSAman on April 16, 2011, 04:26:31 pm
1. didnt know you could zoom through Z levels with hotkeys.. and I'm a guy who always builds forts deep underground and manages the moving from top to bottom.


That makes navigating my 100 z level mining shaft down to magma sooo much easier :S

Yeah, that is incredible functionality and most definitelly perfectly suited for magma-fueled industrial "outpost"/main fort navigation.

Kind of makes you wish someone took time to write "advanced" tutorial that shows people neat little functionalities that make gameplay much smoother.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kendo on May 05, 2011, 08:03:52 am
Quote from: bobhayes on May 03, 2011, 02:51:40 pm
Quote from: Valguris on May 03, 2011, 07:19:50 am
Quote from: phoenixuk on May 03, 2011, 05:27:29 am
Only recently realised that dwarves will pick a bedroom for themselves once generated... i've been manually assigning bedrooms to my dwarves up until now.
THEY DO?!
*facepalm*

Don't feel too bad, I'd gone through a dozen fortresses - many with walls all the way around the map - before realizing that you don't have to build walls one tile at a time.

MIND.BLOWN
wow just wow

Not knowing that ,and manually assigning rooms for 100 odd dwarfs every fortress for the last 3 or 4 years is a big face palm moment!

The other one for me was when I started the game - my first 2 or 3 forts I didn't know you could assign different jobs.

So for example I thought that a fisherdwarf could only ever fish and nothing else, that I would have to wait for a woodcutter to show up as a migrant if I ever wanted to cut trees.

What made it worse was that I didn't realise you could change skills on embark either so I would start a fort and hope randomly that I started with a cook and brewer or one would show up in the first wave else everyone always starved ;)

Could make for an interesting play style though if you wanted a challenge.

Also made a 75level pump stack with wooden corkscrews once too - doh!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kassil on May 05, 2011, 08:36:07 am
...Right. Digging a ramp out from under a tree drops the tree. I knew that! The first two casualties from Lancedburial: one of my two starting miners and an immigrant who had the misfortune to be under the next tree when I dug out the ramps /next/ to the ramped tree. Oops. Enjoy your garden coffins, you two. >.>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nasikabatrachus on May 05, 2011, 03:15:02 pm
Hm, I wonder what these levers in my dining hall do... they don't connect to any floodgates, So I guess they're okay to pull. What's the worst that could happen?

One Q-a-P later...

Scary-Ass Forgotten Beast has destroyed a door!

I look for the location of the beast frantically. It is on one of the marble layers, set up for marble crafting and masonry, attacking haulers; I send everything I have at them.

Then the second one walks in. And this one is able to spit out both frozen and boiling forgotten beast extract. Blood and "mist" go everywhere. Final death toll is something like seven, including my Legendary Macedwarf Captain of the Guard.

This was not too long before a goblin siege showed up and managed to kill most of the caravan from the mountainhalls, mostly because they took the long way from the edge of the map to the trade depot. A goblin elite marksman was able to kill three or four of my marksdwarves by shooting through the fortifications from a z-level below. Several militiadwarves were caught out in the open for days on end, but were able to run away from the siegers long enough to make their way to one of the open fort entrances. Ironically, Trolls weren't very dangerous in hand-to-hand combat except when they managed to knock a dwarf into a body of water, drowning them. The siege eventually broke when enough were killed.

In short, later summer to mid-winter of 527 was one big season of Face Palm for Cloistersummit. On the plus side, I now have most of my levers labeled with points.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shootandrun on May 05, 2011, 04:37:57 pm
Goblins every where. People dying horribly. Dwarves locked down inside the bunkers. No hope of survival. Food stocks running low.
That was my fortress one hour ago.
Ten minutes ago, it was pretty much the same, except there was no more goblins, a lot of water everywhere and no more dwarfs.

You see, I love epic stories. I like when my fortress fall (Loosing is fun!) but I like it even more when hundreds of gob's or FB's or clowns fall with it. Because of that, I never seal my fortress (I seal things, but not the fortress), nor do I place super-traps, capable of killing millions of ennemies before letting one in. Also, I always have a plan, just in case.

Because of that, even when a good hundred goblins killed what remained of my military and trolls started to break down the doors, I did'nt panick. Most of the dwarfs were already safe in the bunker. Of course, at least a third did'nt make it, but we never liked them anyway. At that point, however, there was nothing more to do. The fortress was overrun, there was no more weapons, no more fighters, no more hope. So, Urist pulled the lever and the aquifer was released.

At that point, I remembered that because I was planning on doing water supply for my dwarfs using a well, only one bunker (out of five) was water-proof. This bunker was the deepest, and there was no dwarf inside because I had used his bridges to trap a FB inside.
/Facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jome on May 06, 2011, 07:02:29 am
I've never ever had a steel production. So restarting after a while of not playing and getting the new version ..



'' Finally, flux stone! ''

One year later, getting ready to start a production of metals ..


'' So, now to get so- ehh .. why can't I make iro- FUUUUUU! NONE OF THE ORES I NEED! ''
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on May 06, 2011, 07:09:57 am
I've asked on this forum about how to get your game to autosave. I got an answer but haven't done that yet. Guess what happened? That's right! My game crashed! Yaaay! :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on May 06, 2011, 07:33:54 am
Quote from: FrisianDude on May 06, 2011, 07:09:57 am
I've asked on this forum about how to get your game to autosave. I got an answer but haven't done that yet. Guess what happened? That's right! My game crashed! Yaaay! :D

Oy.

Yeah, autosave is a life-saver. Also, you can do all sorts of many-worlds-hypothesis-type stuff with it if you turn on the backup feature as well. Just make sure you have a lot of space on your computer's hard-drive.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FritzPL on May 06, 2011, 09:21:44 am
Miner just took a nap in half of the room mining. I would draw it as an epic art,but I am no artist.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TerryDactyl on May 06, 2011, 06:16:18 pm
Two adamant failures:

The first being well-clad swordsman who followed a frogman into the lake and drowned, fighting.

After a months-long recovery operation, we were able to equip a new soldier in the former's gear. When the cyclops came, we made him our champion. Convinced of his invulnerability, he strolled up to the brute and was promptly thrown ~30 tiles and GIBBED against a soil wall. His arms, his head, his legs just popped right off.

Time to send in the militia....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FritzPL on May 07, 2011, 07:19:50 am
Discovering removing up stairs/ramps option



Are you fuckin' KIDDING ME?


MONTHS of digging and channeling,digging and channeling...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Organum on May 07, 2011, 08:44:34 am
There's also a bit in DFhack that automatically removes ramps desginated for derampification. Sure, it's cheatery, but if it means a less complicated screen...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AnimaRytak on May 07, 2011, 01:51:19 pm
Realizing that bedrooms would auto-assigned to dwarves if they were unclaimed.

I flat out facedesk'd on that one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EveryZig on May 07, 2011, 02:12:35 pm
Just lost ANOTHER marksdwarf to that obnoxious thing where your marksdwarf refuses to stay on the right side of the wall. I HATE that so much.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shootandrun on May 07, 2011, 02:39:41 pm
My fortress was going well. The two first seasons were over. There was some giant badgers around (The Mighty King of the Beasts) but I was not afraid. They were far from here.

And then, BOOM! The dwarfs get spotted by the badgers, one minute later, they are all dead.

Please, Toady, don't nerf them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EvilWink on May 07, 2011, 09:03:19 pm
So I am facing a mass dehydration in my fortress because I cant get any wood to make barrels during an invasion. I decide that Im probably going to lose the fort anyways, so I send my two legendary axedwarves to stand behind my drawbridge and prepare to make a heroic last stand.

I pull the lever...


...and the bridge atom-smashes the two dwarfs and the invaders kill my fort
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Andal on May 07, 2011, 09:21:43 pm
Quote from: EvilWink on May 07, 2011, 09:03:19 pm
So I am facing a mass dehydration in my fortress because I cant get any wood to make barrels during an invasion. I decide that Im probably going to lose the fort anyways, so I send my two legendary axedwarves to stand behind my drawbridge and prepare to make a heroic last stand.

I pull the lever...


...and the bridge atom-smashes the two dwarfs and the invaders kill my fort

... you know you can make pots, functional equivalents of barrels, out of stone, right?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EvilWink on May 07, 2011, 09:29:20 pm
Quote from: Andal on May 07, 2011, 09:21:43 pm
Quote from: EvilWink on May 07, 2011, 09:03:19 pm
So I am facing a mass dehydration in my fortress because I cant get any wood to make barrels during an invasion. I decide that Im probably going to lose the fort anyways, so I send my two legendary axedwarves to stand behind my drawbridge and prepare to make a heroic last stand.

I pull the lever...


...and the bridge atom-smashes the two dwarfs and the invaders kill my fort

... you know you can make pots, functional equivalents of barrels, out of stone, right?

Facepalm part 2
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tryrar on May 08, 2011, 12:32:29 am
not a facepalm moment for ME exactly, but for the game as it embarked my wagon right on top of a frozen pool....and when the pool thawed out, well hilarity ensued
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on May 08, 2011, 02:30:05 pm
Quote from: tryrar on May 08, 2011, 12:32:29 am
not a facepalm moment for ME exactly, but for the game as it embarked my wagon right on top of a frozen pool....and when the pool thawed out, well hilarity ensued
Just wait until the water pulls your items into an alternate dimension.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Griffin on May 08, 2011, 11:30:15 pm
facepalm #1= My most skilled marksdwarf running out on to the field during a goblin siege, and then falling into a small pond and drowns to the death.

facepalm #2= Building a grand bedroom for a noble, then that noble dies. A group of migrants come and some random dwarf claims it. My current Barony, an ex-military dwarf named "Stumpy" thanks to the loss of his right foot goes on tantrum when he realizes a commoner has a better bedroom than he does and punches a legendary craftsdwarf through the head, killing him...then gets extremely depressed about it so he goes to his dining room, sits down, and then goes berserk. My military comes out with training axes and beats him to death.

Up until then he lived a decent life. Almost lost my fortress to a tantrum spiral at that point.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Knick on May 09, 2011, 08:15:05 am
Could not understand why my woodcutter was so unhappy, and eating vermin.  Then I discovered that I had not carved down steps into my fortress entrance, thus trapping the little treekiller on the surface.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: cam94509 on May 09, 2011, 12:32:38 pm
Trolls. They are building destroyers. I had forgotten that.

I was all like "lololol, stupid goblins, you can't get in that way! The door is forbidden! Stop running across the weapon traps, and just leave, you can't... Oh. Right. Not good."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kabuto on May 09, 2011, 06:15:19 pm
My miner was digging part of an irrigation system when he suddenly forgot how to use stairs and ramps... after I had turned it on with him still digging. I managed to get it turned off, and once the mist cleared, there was one very happy dwarf sitting there, starving.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Trorbes on May 09, 2011, 07:03:15 pm
I lost my starting miner when part of the hill he was leveling fell on him.  That sucks, but I just got the first summer wave of migrants and figured the fish dissector would make a good replacement.  Not a minute later, she's dead too, when part of the hill she was leveling fell on her.

Oh what fun we shall have at Rigothmeb.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FluidDynamite on May 09, 2011, 09:16:21 pm
Quote from: tryrar on May 08, 2011, 12:32:29 am
not a facepalm moment for ME exactly, but for the game as it embarked my wagon right on top of a frozen pool....and when the pool thawed out, well hilarity ensued

Same thing happened to me, tried saving my items by channeling a ditch to drain the murky pool. Didn't occur to me at the time the implications of draining said pool, items and all, into a river... Which flows into the ocean. Yeah.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tryrar on May 09, 2011, 09:31:43 pm
yeah, but you didnt happen to lose 4 out of 7 dwarfs who happened to be hangin out at the wagon drinking at the time..... :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on May 10, 2011, 06:04:32 am
Forgotten beast attacked. Killed by my soldiers, hastily used dfcleanmap to get rid of the ichor.
Some soldiers were affected byy the ichor, but survived.
Finally get around to designating an outdoor graveyard, at the sime time sending out my large masonry team to continue construction of the walls.

It rained. The FB body leaves a large trail of ichor...
Vomiting dwarves EVERYWHERE!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bobhayes on May 10, 2011, 05:20:37 pm
Quote from: imperium3 on May 10, 2011, 06:04:32 am
It rained. The FB body leaves a large trail of ichor...
Vomiting dwarves EVERYWHERE!

Couple that with nudist dwarves and you'd have Dwarven Spring Break.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Amun-Ra on May 11, 2011, 05:08:23 pm
Planning on pouring water on him, I accidentally released a trapped titan, who then burnt EVERYTHING.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on May 11, 2011, 08:20:12 pm
Quote from: tryrar on May 09, 2011, 09:31:43 pm
yeah, but you didnt happen to lose 4 out of 7 dwarfs who happened to be hangin out at the wagon drinking at the time..... :-\

Dwarves. Such hardcore drinkers.

I designated a massive, self-replenishing cistern for my miners to dig, even cutting in an alternate exit for the moronic midgets that fell in.

My miner, nearly legendary (This project would have put her close to the brink) decided to start digging from the wrong end (the shaft, as opposed to the entrance) and spent nearly a year down there. Finished just in time, luckily.

To make matters worse, rather than breaching the river properly the dwarves mined out a corner first. This resulted in the cistern filling up ridiculously slowly. By God dwarves are idiots.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: malimbar04 on May 12, 2011, 12:54:18 am
"oh, I'll just set up a few dozen rock-fall traps behind the main gate, that'll surely kill a squad of goblins".

one vomits running through them all

"oh crap...:

70 population - and then accounting for tantrums I'm down to 8.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ghostbird on May 12, 2011, 02:54:10 am
First fortress: Not realising wells don't block pressure. Only realised this when my high pressure well on Z -20 (fed by the Z 0 river) had flooded the lower half of my fortress.
First fortress with magma: Not understanding magma pressure due to an ambiguous entry on the wiki. Flooded the booze storage with magma before I managed to wall the area off. Tantrum spiral ensued (No water yet, was looking for the aquifer). I made the wiki a little clearer on this point and reclaimed.
Now you should know that my HP Elitebook 8530w has a hardware issue with the touchpad.
1. You cannot disable the touchpad.
2. When you hover your finger for a while above the touchpad it will register a click (after about 5 min). Since I keep my hands on my keyboard at all times while playing DF2 it will sometimes generate such false clicks because the knuckle of my left thumb is constantly hovering partially above the touchpad.
In the second fortress I mentioned, which I reclaimed, a rogue click while designating mining designated exactly the single tile between the previously magma flooded part and the workshops. I was really glad I built the still in a room with a basalt door for no good reason. It was the only part that flooded.
Then I dug into HFS. I had set up an elaborate trap corridor with legendary military dwarves at the end. Alas the demons pathing realised it was faster to just fly straight up trough the magma pipe into the volcano crater and murder my non-military dwarves from behind.
Also I once embarked on a plain with a continuous aquifer on z-level -3. I build the entire fortress out of wood aboveground. Only while typing this I realised that it is possible to dig trough an aquifer with only two z-levels of soil above it.
The fort was pretty nice though. I only had constant war with the elves. (Wooden fortress)
Pictures made with Overseer. (The crenellations and stairs are rotated 90 degrees, due to a wrong export from blender to .obj. (.obj has Y as the vertical axis and blender has Z, thus 90 degree rotation).
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gzoker on May 12, 2011, 04:13:16 am
New Fort, perfect location, lake next to a mountain, untamed and joyous wilds, iron and nickel ore, elephants, so everything i need.
Perfect starting seven, four soldier candidates and an amazing doctor. Expedition leader likes iron, diorite, fungiwood wood. Bingo
Wagon stopped on the edge of the cliffs. I designated my starting fortress, then hit unpause.

First thing happened: horse kicked military commander, he flew some twenty tiles into the lake.
After that horse tried to bit my expedition leader, who jumped away... into the lake.
The other horse thought this is my chance, and kicked McSoldier right next to his commander.

In five seconds three of my dwarfs died, and a i facepalmed hard. Maybe i shouldn't have gave them twenty dogs for food.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on May 12, 2011, 08:27:44 am
Quote from: gzoker on May 12, 2011, 04:13:16 am
New Fort, perfect location, lake next to a mountain, untamed and joyous wilds, iron and nickel ore, elephants, so everything i need.
Perfect starting seven, four soldier candidates and an amazing doctor. Expedition leader likes iron, diorite, fungiwood wood. Bingo
Wagon stopped on the edge of the cliffs. I designated my starting fortress, then hit unpause.

First thing happened: horse kicked military commander, he flew some twenty tiles into the lake.
After that horse tried to bit my expedition leader, who jumped away... into the lake.
The other horse thought this is my chance, and kicked McSoldier right next to his commander.

In five seconds three of my dwarfs died, and a i facepalmed hard. Maybe i shouldn't have gave them twenty dogs for food.


While reading this, I was imagining it playing out like the battle between Neo and the Smiths, even with the music.

Quote from: Ghostbird on May 12, 2011, 02:54:10 am
First fortress with magma: Not understanding magma pressure due to an ambiguous entry on the wiki. Flooded the booze storage with magma before I managed to wall the area off. Tantrum spiral ensued (No water yet, was looking for the aquifer). I made the wiki a little clearer on this point and reclaimed.

Yeah, I ran into a similar wiki caused facepalm in water pressure. I wanted to fill up a dwarf-made lake and was going to use water pressure and the nearby brook to do it. Winter came and the brook froze, I mined into the brook until I got to the spot I would dig down. After the drain tunnel was complete, I waited for Spring. Spring came... and the water flowed and only filled up one z-level. Turns out that Up/Down staircases let water pas through them, but they do not allow pressure to pass through them.

The wiki doesn't mention this in the neutralizing pressure section and I figure since it wasn't there it should work... after that I had to do a lot of work to get my plan working again, but I finished it.

Edit: Got one going right now. Moody dwarf wants wood. I have no idea why my wood cutters aren't cutting wood... well I do... they don't have axes... but there's no reason for them not to have axes... in fact, what happened to their old axes? And why don't they get new ones from the weapon stockpile? (There is at least one there.) No alerts, no burrow restrictions either.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Manae on May 12, 2011, 11:06:59 am
Check your military uniforms? If the axe is assigned to any of them, even if they aren't actively carrying it the woodcutters will not use it to chop down trees.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on May 12, 2011, 12:33:48 pm
It seems either the axes in the stockpile aren't good enough for some reason or they are invisibly claimed/owned by someone else... I found some spare wood and made a training axe and that seems to satisfy the situation.

Quote from: Manae on May 12, 2011, 11:06:59 am
Check your military uniforms? If the axe is assigned to any of them, even if they aren't actively carrying it the woodcutters will not use it to chop down trees.

This is probably what happened... but I'm not sure why the axes are sitting in the stockpile then...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: buogima on May 14, 2011, 12:41:06 am
I spent 3 hours learning and playing through the techniques required to puncture a three-leveled aquifer, only to find once all the work was done that it was four-leveled.  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on May 14, 2011, 02:48:43 am
I decided to let my recruits engage in a little casual murder by stabbing a particularly annoying diplomat to death.

This did not work so well. I left them in peace for a minute or two while reading webcomics and when I came back, everyone was either dead, dying, or running in fear and terror from what was apparently the most badass diplomant ever.

Then came the tantrum spiral.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Disquiet on May 14, 2011, 12:04:15 pm
Deciding to fight a forgotten beast on the long thin platform I had built across the underground lake. I wanted to meet it before it got into the stairwell to save the civilians, but unfortunately I lost 3 of my best military drwarves as they promptly dodged or got knocked off the narrow bridge to drown. The FB also killed another 2 before it was taken down. I would much rather have had the beast slaughterer a few civilians and interrupt a few jobs than lose half of my crack military squad in which all my best dwarves are assigned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mechatronic on May 14, 2011, 02:24:19 pm
Quote from: buogima on May 14, 2011, 12:41:06 am
I spent 3 hours learning and playing through the techniques required to puncture a three-leveled aquifer, only to find once all the work was done that it was four-leveled.  :'(
You might be able to get through it using this method:

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=79224.15
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on May 14, 2011, 02:53:03 pm
Does your biome freeze?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on May 14, 2011, 04:39:16 pm
A dwarf just fell 23 z-levels... onto a coffin. How convenient.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on May 14, 2011, 04:40:41 pm
Quote from: Samuel on May 14, 2011, 04:39:16 pm
A dwarf just fell 23 z-levels... onto a coffin. How convenient.
Some dwarves are just more efficient than others.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on May 14, 2011, 04:45:49 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on May 14, 2011, 04:40:41 pm
Quote from: Samuel on May 14, 2011, 04:39:16 pm
A dwarf just fell 23 z-levels... onto a coffin. How convenient.
Some dwarves are just more efficient than others.
To be fair, it took some time to collect all the other pieces.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yoink on May 14, 2011, 10:38:46 pm
Quote from: Samuel on May 14, 2011, 04:45:49 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on May 14, 2011, 04:40:41 pm
Quote from: Samuel on May 14, 2011, 04:39:16 pm
A dwarf just fell 23 z-levels... onto a coffin. How convenient.
Some dwarves are just more efficient than others.
To be fair, it took some time to collect all the other pieces.

Bahahaha sigged!! :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scaraban on May 14, 2011, 11:13:00 pm
Quote from: Niccolo on May 14, 2011, 02:48:43 am
I decided to let my recruits engage in a little casual murder by stabbing a particularly annoying diplomat to death.

This did not work so well. I left them in peace for a minute or two while reading webcomics and when I came back, everyone was either dead, dying, or running in fear and terror from what was apparently the most badass diplomant ever.

Then came the tantrum spiral.
was it a dwarven liaison or a other race diplomat?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on May 14, 2011, 11:44:22 pm
Quote from: Scaraban on May 14, 2011, 11:13:00 pm
Quote from: Niccolo on May 14, 2011, 02:48:43 am
I decided to let my recruits engage in a little casual murder by stabbing a particularly annoying diplomat to death.

This did not work so well. I left them in peace for a minute or two while reading webcomics and when I came back, everyone was either dead, dying, or running in fear and terror from what was apparently the most badass diplomant ever.

Then came the tantrum spiral.
was it a dwarven liaison or a other race diplomat?

Dwarven... hence the spiral, I'm guessing? Huh.

Okay, double facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on May 15, 2011, 12:12:46 am
Yeah, You made the dwarves that killed the diplomat enemies of your civilization. I'm pretty sure that anyone who attacked them then became enemies of your civilization because the soldiers were both members and enemies. then anyone who attacked those dwarves...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: candylord on May 15, 2011, 05:25:05 am
Oh god, I've done that before
Its even more !!fun!! when you do it with a military composed of 60 dwarves, all legendary +5 in shield, dodge, armor user, fighter and their weapon of choice...
The battle is surprisingly short, I expected it to be longer considering how they're all +5 in shield and dodge...
still, it was epic while it lasted
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zhaine on May 15, 2011, 09:45:01 am
10 Wells spread 10-15 levels below;
7 Tile wide floodgate from river,
0 pumps or diagonal sections in system,

I now have a Fish Fortress -.-

Never again... never ever again...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on May 15, 2011, 10:29:27 am
Quote from: Zhaine on May 15, 2011, 09:45:01 am
10 Wells spread 10-15 levels below;
7 Tile wide floodgate from river,
0 pumps or diagonal sections in system,

I now have a Fish Fortress -.-

Never again... never ever again...

Yet to make that particular error... I guess you haven't really played DF properly until you've flooded at least one fortress.

I facepalmed recently when a gang of murderous, bloodthirsty goblins tore through my fledgling fortress. I don't know where the bloody hell they came from, but I was yet to be a year old and they murdered my dwarves like they were kittens.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on May 15, 2011, 12:28:41 pm
Quote from: Niccolo on May 14, 2011, 02:48:43 am
Then came the tantrum spiral.
Deserved! :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on May 15, 2011, 12:44:12 pm
Quote from: Niccolo on May 15, 2011, 10:29:27 am

I facepalmed recently when a gang of murderous, bloodthirsty goblins tore through my fledgling fortress. I don't know where the bloody hell they came from, but I was yet to be a year old and they murdered my dwarves like they were kittens.

Your civilization can start out officially at war with goblins, which I suspect speeds up their arrival at your fort. When you're picking a new site, TAB through the various options until you come to the "other civilizations" list. If your chosen civilization is at war with anyone, goblin or otherwise, it will actually say WAR in red. Default level with the goblins is a dashed red line.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on May 15, 2011, 07:36:00 pm
Quote from: FrisianDude on May 15, 2011, 12:28:41 pm
Deserved! :D

xD Yes. I did.

Quote from: geoduck on May 15, 2011, 12:44:12 pm
Your civilization can start out officially at war with goblins, which I suspect speeds up their arrival at your fort. When you're picking a new site, TAB through the various options until you come to the "other civilizations" list. If your chosen civilization is at war with anyone, goblin or otherwise, it will actually say WAR in red. Default level with the goblins is a dashed red line.

I wasn't at war, I checked that. I've yet to be properly at war - mostly 'cause something goes wrong in the first few years.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mechatronic on May 16, 2011, 02:27:24 am
Just about finished a 116 level pump stack when I read that marble isn't magma-safe like I thought, and I have marble blocks in some pumps near the bottom. Sigh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: usgreth on May 16, 2011, 09:15:57 am
2 things come to mind from the current fort
I notice a strangely named dorf (not mine)in the dead list who becomes a ghost, wonder who he was. Engraver later makes 2 pictures. one mentioning the disappearance of the outpost liason with suspected involvement of my dwarves. Engraving 2 showing the strangely named dwarf cringing. This relates to him being crushed with a drawbridge. AHHH, oops

Little bit of digging in to the caverns followed shortly afterwards by -FOUR- forgotten beasts in my fortress at the same time. I really didn't expect to survive that. My brave military boosted by a hurriedly assmbled extra emergency squad killed them all but with heavy losses and a few more dying later on from their injuries. The previously bored medical dwarves just couldn't handle that many cases at once.

There may be a facepalm later, since I have made a channel from the brook on the surface, down to the lava sea and watching what happens :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on May 16, 2011, 09:51:15 am
You smashed the liaison? OUCH. :D

Spoiler: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Alright, I can do this. I have seven fully ironed Melee-dwarfs. I can do this. (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: ...Facepalm. (click to show/hide)

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serrational on May 16, 2011, 12:59:26 pm
That's not so bad, you just CAUGHT A FREAKING GIANTESS!

Gobbo arena matches anyone?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on May 16, 2011, 12:59:56 pm
I just found out you can designate more than one wall to be constructed at once. I'd been designating one by one since... since I started playing DF.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on May 16, 2011, 01:00:52 pm
Quote from: Serrational on May 16, 2011, 12:59:26 pm
That's not so bad, you just CAUGHT A FREAKING GIANTESS!

Gobbo arena matches anyone?
My game crashed, though, so I'm not sure I still have her. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serrational on May 16, 2011, 01:04:59 pm
Shame, man. I feel the pain.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fairin on May 16, 2011, 03:36:09 pm
Ambush - next door to my barracks *gave myself quite a snicker*, some of the kobolds began to run, my military chased, right into a cave croc rideing demon invasion. i was able to get everyone inside and let my traps soften them up.

my entranceway is a 15 zlevel straight drop with 2 rows of wooden traps (havent replaced yet) just to knock people off the ledge

1 enemy gets into my fort, its ok my militart is stationed infront of my civvies, didnt matter tho they "scattered and ran past the demon, UP the stairs and out into the open, and of course my military followed, 8 out of 10 died to "dodgeing" into my freaking pit, the resulting tantrum spiral just ruined so many hours ... ><
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: the Dregs on May 16, 2011, 04:35:58 pm
I just figured out the hard way that water does not flow like magma. I dug out an area under my workshop area and filled it with magma. Then I channeled out squares in the work shop to access the magma for my smelters and such. It didn't flow up and it worked beautifully.

So I figured I would do the same with a well. My above ground area was infested with badgers and carp, so I needed a safe well. I tried making it the same way as I did the magma shops and I created a geyser in my fortress, there wasn't time to wall it off. After lots of drownings, I abandoned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: moleeth on May 17, 2011, 03:47:51 am
Still quite a beginner at DF, but i had my best fort going, 75 dwarfs and rising a thriving craft industry and the beggining of a metal industry.

I just had to remove a piece of floor i had built over lava where i planned to put a magma smelter, stupidly i designated the whole floor to be removed and about 20 dwarfs set to work.... removing the supporting floors first and burning them all in lava.

The tantrum spiral was brutal as it was mixed with a goblin invasion :(

No survivors.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on May 17, 2011, 09:30:55 am
My main siege defence consists of a spiral passage, filled with large serrated steel disks and with a spiked scorpion pit at the bottom. I've never really needed it until this siege, which was much bigger than any previous. At first it was doing a cracking job eviscerating goblins. Those that dodged ended up impaled on spikes, those that retreated were being picked off by my legendary marksdwarf.

Until, the commander of my Queen's Guard, a legendary macedwarf, took it into his head to try and take on the whole siege by himself. He killed the first one, dodged the second attack... and landed head-first in the spike pit.

Facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: senamic on May 17, 2011, 09:56:42 am
I felt that my 6 strong militia of novices and dabblers could take on a mere three Capybara...

The Capybara shakes the Axedwarf around by the head, tearing apart the head's muscle!
An artery in the head has been opened by the attack!
The Capybara bites the Axedwarf in the head, bruising the muscle through th (alpaca wool hood)!
The Capybara latches on firmly!
Tulon Tekkudbomrek, Axedwarf has bled to death.


Oh dear, some explaining to do on how he managed to fail in that mission... In the meantime... PARTY ah I mean wake.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on May 17, 2011, 11:36:03 am
I had a giantess in a cage. Lost due to crash. :( Same with an Artifact Green Glass Weapon Rack. Also, I just noticed I had a high master mason, must've been a migrant. AND HE WAS SOILING HIS MAGIC HANDS WITH HAULING. D:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on May 17, 2011, 04:53:01 pm
Quote from: FrisianDude on May 17, 2011, 11:36:03 am
AND HE WAS SOILING HIS MAGIC HANDS WITH HAULING. D:
Those words... in that order...

It does not sound sanitary at all.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on May 18, 2011, 08:04:43 am
Wise man say, don't blame me for your dirty mind.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serrational on May 18, 2011, 10:10:52 am
Quote from: FrisianDude on May 18, 2011, 08:04:43 am
Wise man say, don't blame me for your dirty mind.
Dwarf man say, burn them all. Aaaaall of them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The_Final_Stand on May 18, 2011, 12:27:16 pm
One of my hunters just went crundle hunting and ran into a pack of them. I ordered my military down there to avenge him since he had taken some wounds to the heart and lungs, not to mention being covered in bruises and I figured he was about to die. But no. Instead he gets the crundles to leave him alone for a while and heals most of his wounds. Particularly the ones to the heart and lungs. By the time the military gets there and massacres the crundles, the hunter has decided to walk off to the hospital. He has been wounded in the lung again- a blue injury indicating loss of function- along with loads of bruises. By the time he reaches the bottom of the stairwell, he has healed the lung injury and most of the bruises as well.

Amusingly, he is labelled as "Not a risk taker".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadenight123 on May 18, 2011, 12:55:13 pm
that's wolverine you got there. rename him wolverine and make him a wrestler of legendary skills.
than an axelord.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wastedlabor on May 18, 2011, 04:00:43 pm
Six novice miners decided to break their limbs volunteered for medical research at the same time when they were removing ramps that were being mined from below.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: saker112 on May 18, 2011, 07:21:21 pm
This just happened. I embarked to a volcano last night, and got too distracted by the fact that I could set up magma forges and such to set up some basic buildings, namely a still. However, I had embarked with a lot of alcohol, so it wasn't too bad. While playing today, I got several waves of migrants even before the first caravan showed up, but forgot that I forgot to make a still. These used up my alcohol reserves until I see

Urist Mcdwarf has died from thirst.
Urist Mcdwarf has died from thirst.

I was confused at first, but quickly made a still.

Urist Mclegendaryengraver has died from thirst.

NOOOO!! It's ok, we can do this. My brewer gets to the still, starts building, and I see

Urist Mcbrewer has died from thirst.

/facepalm

I got the still up eventually, but still. <-unintentional pun
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on May 19, 2011, 12:47:30 am
Woah, check your stocks a bit more often. :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Angel Of Death on May 19, 2011, 09:56:15 am
I left my dwarfs on the surface and forgot to burrow all of them. They were mauled to death by rhinos.

FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on May 19, 2011, 10:54:24 am
I swear, goblin crossbows are fucking lethal.

That's it, I'm training up a squad of crossbowmen. I don't care how undwarvenly the things are - I'm sick of my men being pincushions.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: James.Denholm on May 19, 2011, 11:19:32 am
Quote from: Niccolo on May 19, 2011, 10:54:24 am
I swear, goblin crossbows are fucking lethal.

That's it, I'm training up a squad of crossbowmen. I don't care how undwarvenly the things are - I'm sick of my men being pincushions.

It's official, people - crossbow build-ups are metaphors for the Cold War. Except that they actually get used, of course.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on May 19, 2011, 12:09:29 pm
Vabok Arrowfences is married to Zan Boltgates. D:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Megaman3321 on May 19, 2011, 12:32:07 pm
I disable all of the fishermen's duties because of a siege that just came. I then assign them to a burrow. But instead of fleeing to safety (or doing what I told them to and USE THE FISHING PIT THAT I DESIGNATED THAT WAS IN A SAFE LOCATION), they go "eh, screw the siege! Imma catch that fish if it's the last thing I do!"

*facepalm*

They're lucky my militia commander is so fast and able to singlehandedly beat back 3 squads of gobbos :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ggamer on May 19, 2011, 05:58:51 pm
I remember a while back, one of my most successfull military swarves and a Legendary miner were stuck in a mausoleum, because I had unwittingly destroyed the stairs.

Of course, I couldn't tell.

When I do find out, I quickly build some stairs, and pray that my milidorf makes it. He finally walks up to the F/D stockpile...

And dies of hunger.

FUCK.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on May 19, 2011, 06:16:41 pm
Three hundred pages? This is madness!

Madness....
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on May 20, 2011, 06:59:16 am
Quote from: FrisianDude on May 19, 2011, 12:09:29 pm
Vabok Arrowfences is married to Zan Boltgates. D:


Zan died because a wild yak bull entered my colony, I thought it was one of my herd for a moment, and kicked his head and spine. He suffocated due to that kick. Poor Vabok only has her two deities left. Both are/were in my Crossbow militia. :( Dalzatakmanm, Matchsunk, will pay! Delicious yak-burger!
Christ. Goblin Ambush. Crossbows + bow. Their first target was a stray yak cow which took a LOT of shots, didn't die. They accidentally hit a cavy sow pet of a dead Dwarf, it was pastured, and that bled to death very shortly afterwards. My militia then engaged them in melee, the goblins had wasted quite some time on the cow. The Goblins shot my Mcom through the head causing deathness. :( The game crashed a moment later during the melee and I will start a new fortress, this one wasn't properly defensible and I already have 15 dead Dwarfs on a population of around 76 which is more than my average. It'll take a while before I'll start a new fortress because I intend to nick my brother's raws whose changes I tend to like a lot and he hasn't arrived yet. :P I made fourteen screenshots of Erushtulon and I shall upload them. UnfortunatELY I didn't make pictures of the entire fort but only of more or less important happenings.

(I make a LOT of screenshots. I've got approx 1500 for Mount and Musket mod for Warband, for example.)
Spoiler: first ambush near my brook-side slaughterhouse. (click to show/hide)
Spoiler:  this didn't happen. Crash after she got caged caused me to lose her. (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Mata the cyclops child (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: I had one order for a statue at the time and it was this one! :D (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: HOW THE HELL? (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: one though, limbless, motherfucker. (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Fish dissectors weren't lucky in Erushtulon. (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: latest ambush (click to show/hide)

Yes, my group was the Trumpet of Gangs in Erushtulon, Handleroad and my Parent Civ was Ordastot, the Large Swords. Unfortunately I hadn't made large swords (two-handers, I mean) actually usable.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sarda on May 20, 2011, 08:16:19 am
"HOW THE HELL?", "tough motherfucker" and "Spoiler" don't work for me. All the others work and are cool, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Felius on May 20, 2011, 10:04:29 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on May 19, 2011, 06:16:41 pm
Three hundred pages? This is madness!

Madness....
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Indeed. I'm kinda proud to have started the thread.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on May 20, 2011, 10:09:07 pm
Quote from: Felius on May 20, 2011, 10:04:29 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on May 19, 2011, 06:16:41 pm
Three hundred pages? This is madness!

Madness....
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Indeed. I'm kinda proud to have started the thread.
You should be. It's a great thread that has the honor of being stickied.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on May 21, 2011, 05:40:07 am
Quote from: Sarda on May 20, 2011, 08:16:19 am
"HOW THE HELL?", "tough motherfucker" and "Spoiler" don't work for me. All the others work and are cool, though.
That's odd, I uploaded them all in one batch. Are they working now? Also, I just started a new fortress, nice spot, it was named Armormerchants, which is a bad-ass name. It had alligators. Oh my, I thought, but I went on. Badger-people appeared. Got enraged at alligators and subsequently killed. One of them got enraged at one of those floating drumsticks, a pike. Three dead badgerpersons later and an alligator heads for my Dorfs. It kills two before being copper battle axed to death. I then notice that I've yet another casualty of natural rage; one of the badger women mauled one of my starters who was therefore miserable. With two Dwarfs dead and the other five unhappy I abandoned. YOU WIN THIS TIME, NATURE.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on May 21, 2011, 06:25:39 am
Somehow, a nice pile of some underground beast's teeth comes into my possession. Yep, just teeth.
Awesome, I thought! Just what I needed for those otherwise unfulfillable mandates! There, I [f]orbid the pile, so it won't get accidentally crafted into anything if the time hasn't come! I just have to [f]orbid all other teeth and unforbid these specific ones if a stupid mandate pops up! I can finally manage my fort properly without having to cause witness unfortunate accidents happening to my nobles...
And then, I woke up.
 >:( :'(


(Saddest part: I haven't played DF in over a month. Go, me.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 1piemaster1 on May 21, 2011, 01:56:08 pm
My possessed dwarf made a wooden cedar cup.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hjd_uk on May 21, 2011, 05:09:28 pm
My stairs down to the jetty over my artificial lake let in a dozen invaders while i wasn't looking ... bloody winter ice.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deus Machina on May 22, 2011, 06:16:15 am
My last fortress's legendary stonecrafter: Catten Lolcatten.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on May 22, 2011, 10:40:55 am
Quote from: Deus Machina on May 22, 2011, 06:16:15 am
My last fortress's legendary stonecrafter: Catten Lolcatten.

You have GOT to get him a pet cat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on May 22, 2011, 10:54:10 am
Quote from: Deus Machina on May 22, 2011, 06:16:15 am
My last fortress's legendary stonecrafter: Catten Lolcatten.
I can has cheese roast?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on May 22, 2011, 01:10:41 pm
Quote from: Deus Machina on May 22, 2011, 06:16:15 am
My last fortress's legendary stonecrafter: Catten Lolcatten.
And I thought I had found the best one with Ducim Lolokcatten! Have an Internet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RabidAnubis on May 22, 2011, 05:35:42 pm
Quote from: EvilWink on May 07, 2011, 09:29:20 pm
Quote from: Andal on May 07, 2011, 09:21:43 pm
Quote from: EvilWink on May 07, 2011, 09:03:19 pm
So I am facing a mass dehydration in my fortress because I cant get any wood to make barrels during an invasion. I decide that Im probably going to lose the fort anyways, so I send my two legendary axedwarves to stand behind my drawbridge and prepare to make a heroic last stand.

I pull the lever...


...and the bridge atom-smashes the two dwarfs and the invaders kill my fort

... you know you can make pots, functional equivalents of barrels, out of stone, right?

Facepalm part 2

Facepalm part three

This guy is joking, right?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Icemonkey on May 22, 2011, 06:03:16 pm
So I was mining out a nice vein of Adamantium, when shaboom! I accidentally unleash hell. Small facepalm there, should have been more careful. So I wall it off, sacrificing my two legendary miners to hold back the demonic horde. Then, having spent a load of time training up some new legends, and feeling smug and secure behind my flimsy chalk wall, I set them the task of ninja-mining the outside of the vein where the evil bastards can't get me. However the hauling was going a bit slowly due to my 1x1 100-odd-z-level shaft, so I decided to expand to a 3x3. It's when I get the notification that I've discovered a load of minerals, eerily reminiscent of when you break through to a cave...

That's when the true facepalm begins. First, my miners have indeed opened a hole into a chasm... one which is filled with demons. Secondly, they happened to dig into the bottom of the lake that lay at the bottom. So my two freshly trained legendary miners are promptly swept down the stairs by the rushing tide, down to my under-construction magma forge area, through the channel, and fall to their melty deaths. Along, I should add, with the 30 dwarves who happened to be down there tidying up.

To top it off, as the water goes down and drowned/smashed/pushed-to-a-firey-death all the poor buggers downstairs, the demons fly up, promptly tearing seven shades of shit out of my poor minions. One of them flew pretty much the distance from one end of my very long central corridor to the other. While wearing full plate armour.

 Then, to top it all off, the game crashed. Apparently my computer felt enough was enough.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on May 22, 2011, 07:17:35 pm
Quote from: RabidAnubis on May 22, 2011, 05:35:42 pm
Quote from: EvilWink on May 07, 2011, 09:29:20 pm
Quote from: Andal on May 07, 2011, 09:21:43 pm
Quote from: EvilWink on May 07, 2011, 09:03:19 pm
So I am facing a mass dehydration in my fortress because I cant get any wood to make barrels during an invasion. I decide that Im probably going to lose the fort anyways, so I send my two legendary axedwarves to stand behind my drawbridge and prepare to make a heroic last stand.

I pull the lever...


...and the bridge atom-smashes the two dwarfs and the invaders kill my fort

... you know you can make pots, functional equivalents of barrels, out of stone, right?

Facepalm part 2

Facepalm part three

This guy is joking, right?

er, no, no he's not. You do so at the craftsdorf's shop. Also, I wasn't aware of this until pretty recently myself, so there's that, too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on May 22, 2011, 07:26:43 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on May 22, 2011, 07:17:35 pm
Quote from: RabidAnubis on May 22, 2011, 05:35:42 pm
Quote from: EvilWink on May 07, 2011, 09:29:20 pm
Quote from: Andal on May 07, 2011, 09:21:43 pm
Quote from: EvilWink on May 07, 2011, 09:03:19 pm
So I am facing a mass dehydration in my fortress because I cant get any wood to make barrels during an invasion. I decide that Im probably going to lose the fort anyways, so I send my two legendary axedwarves to stand behind my drawbridge and prepare to make a heroic last stand.

I pull the lever...


...and the bridge atom-smashes the two dwarfs and the invaders kill my fort

... you know you can make pots, functional equivalents of barrels, out of stone, right?

Facepalm part 2

Facepalm part three

This guy is joking, right?

er, no, no he's not. You do so at the craftsdorf's shop. Also, I wasn't aware of this until pretty recently myself, so there's that, too.

Oh. Oh God... Oh God I feel stupid now... How am I only now finding out about this?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Karnewarrior on May 23, 2011, 06:16:31 am
Quote from: Niccolo on May 22, 2011, 07:26:43 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on May 22, 2011, 07:17:35 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
er, no, no he's not. You do so at the craftsdorf's shop. Also, I wasn't aware of this until pretty recently myself, so there's that, too.

Oh. Oh God... Oh God I feel stupid now... How am I only now finding out about this?
It's only been in since 31.x came out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on May 23, 2011, 06:44:44 am
Even more recent than that. Came in with bees, IIRC.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on May 23, 2011, 04:28:13 pm
Well, fuck. I had a fortress with no real weapon-grade ore, only tetrahedrite (okay, silver is good, but copper sucks for armour), aluminium and gold ores. The first ambush(es), two of them, appeared and easily just rubbed out nine of my 18 militia. Usually I even have smaller militia with much more success. I'm abandoning this one; the first time I've seen the 'your strength has been broken' screen. Gobdammit.


Edit; only after abandoning did I realize I destroyed a legendary carpenter, a legendary engraver, four legendary miners, a legendary soaper (!), and a legendary wood burner. I normally never have that many at 60 Dwarfs. Oh well, new fort tomorrow. I should sleep now to be able to be on time for work.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Javarock on May 23, 2011, 08:42:39 pm
Well awhail back I had knighted a dwarf, Sir Lanceolot. I had what I belived decked him in full adamite includeing a cloak for his knighthood. Right before he was equiping the complete set (Bracers and Boots) we were attacked, In the heat of the moment I sent him out. Then I learned that dwarfs can get their hands, And feet chopped off and die.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: snoopychicken on May 23, 2011, 09:32:17 pm
Today was the first time I got a fort past 1 year. I had a metal industry, a good militia (I suck at military) and was doing really well.
My wife came in as I was finishing up and I got distracted amd abandoned fort instead of save.  :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bohandas on May 23, 2011, 11:03:09 pm
Quote from: Niccolo on May 22, 2011, 07:26:43 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on May 22, 2011, 07:17:35 pm
Quote from: RabidAnubis on May 22, 2011, 05:35:42 pm
Quote from: EvilWink on May 07, 2011, 09:29:20 pm
Quote from: Andal on May 07, 2011, 09:21:43 pm
Quote from: EvilWink on May 07, 2011, 09:03:19 pm
So I am facing a mass dehydration in my fortress because I cant get any wood to make barrels during an invasion. I decide that Im probably going to lose the fort anyways, so I send my two legendary axedwarves to stand behind my drawbridge and prepare to make a heroic last stand.

I pull the lever...


...and the bridge atom-smashes the two dwarfs and the invaders kill my fort

... you know you can make pots, functional equivalents of barrels, out of stone, right?

Facepalm part 2

Facepalm part three

This guy is joking, right?

er, no, no he's not. You do so at the craftsdorf's shop. Also, I wasn't aware of this until pretty recently myself, so there's that, too.

Oh. Oh God... Oh God I feel stupid now... How am I only now finding out about this?

Its new as of the last couple of releases. Pots fwere first implemened a couple of months ago, so if you're playing an older version or haven't been reading the development notes it makes sense that you'd be unaware of it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deus Machina on May 23, 2011, 11:15:37 pm
Oh, I have a new one.

I think I can count this one as 'logical progression'.

(http://img827.imageshack.us/img827/1809/progressionp.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on May 23, 2011, 11:48:25 pm
Those are some very nice squads you have there.
Have you drafted your bookkeeper into the Papers?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fidna on May 24, 2011, 03:33:33 am
I had one hundred and ninety two dwarves. Long story short, big siege, I have twenty left. I had anticipated a bad tantrum spiral to finish them off. ...As it turns out, none of them like anyone except the other survivors anyway. So now I'm stuck with a tremendous fort that they aren't numerous enough to keep up properly, no one wants to migrate cause the place is a death hole, and I have a huge number of ghosts because I can't get together enough sarcophagi for my dead dwarves (in retrospect, when I had planned a large catacomb, I should've actually done it).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shawtay on May 24, 2011, 06:29:20 am
Note to self: don't try and make a well using a lake, and underground tunnels when your miner is your expedition leader and the outpost liaison is following him. Drowned both a legendary miner and the liaison. I wonder what's gunna happen...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on May 24, 2011, 12:17:47 pm
Quote from: Fidna on May 24, 2011, 03:33:33 am
I had one hundred and ninety two dwarves. Long story short, big siege, I have twenty left. I had anticipated a bad tantrum spiral to finish them off. ...As it turns out, none of them like anyone except the other survivors anyway. So now I'm stuck with a tremendous fort that they aren't numerous enough to keep up properly, no one wants to migrate cause the place is a death hole, and I have a huge number of ghosts because I can't get together enough sarcophagi for my dead dwarves (in retrospect, when I had planned a large catacomb, I should've actually done it).
Did you know that "Sarcophagus" means "Flesh Eater"? The greeks called the stone Sarcophagi "lithos sarkophagos" meaning "Stone flesh eater". So you're technically feeding the dead to stone flesheaters
 8)

[/nerdom]
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Amun-Ra on May 24, 2011, 12:19:12 pm
I decided that on the top floor of my tower, a portion on the floor wasn't made of the right stone. I decided to deconstruct a portion of the floor and make the part I didn't like collapse to the floor below.

Little did I know, the falling floor would break the floor below it... and below that one... and below that one... going on for five floors, killing seven dwarves (including my legendary +5 engraver) and wrecking my tower. On top of that, the cave in reached underground as well, breaking away a flood gate, flooding a lower portion of my fortress.

FFFFFFfffff.....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on May 24, 2011, 02:21:45 pm
Quote from: Fidna on May 24, 2011, 03:33:33 am
I had one hundred and ninety two dwarves. Long story short, big siege, I have twenty left. I had anticipated a bad tantrum spiral to finish them off. ...As it turns out, none of them like anyone except the other survivors anyway. So now I'm stuck with a tremendous fort that they aren't numerous enough to keep up properly, no one wants to migrate cause the place is a death hole, and I have a huge number of ghosts because I can't get together enough sarcophagi for my dead dwarves (in retrospect, when I had planned a large catacomb, I should've actually done it).
Make 10 masons and 10 craftdwarves. Crank out and engrave 92 slabs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on May 24, 2011, 02:51:20 pm
I've just been brutally reminded why I hated macaques so much. A flock of nine came by. I quickly put my woodworkers (two woodcutters and a carpenter) and my hunter in militia and set them up. One of the woodcutter flew off in anger and slaughtered three of the bitches, I then let the woodsdorfs out of the militia. My hunter went off after one of them and another one pinched the ONLY crossbow I have.  >:(

Five macaques lie dead and only one of them is still in my area.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaming Monkey on May 24, 2011, 05:23:04 pm
So I decided to play some Dwarf Fortress and loaded up a save from a few months ago.  While playing a seige comes along.  I think to myself "Ha ha target practice", but these gobbos were quick and were at my gates before my military could get to their battlements.  The ragedorfs casually tore them apart of course.  However I still needed to raise the gates, but nary had a clue which levr to pull so I went about pulling them one by one.  Up top the gobbos were just routing and my sword dorfs gave chase.  Just as half of a squad of sworddorfs get to the bridge the gates close crushing 4 sworddorfs and a marksdorf.  The sworddorfs are replaceable, the marksdorf not so much because he was the one who made settling in the region even possble and he was the one I gifted a artifact crossbow to for his service to the fort.

Now...now I can't even place his corpse in a tomb.  Lesson learned, leave notes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eoganachta on May 24, 2011, 11:55:47 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on May 24, 2011, 12:17:47 pm
Quote from: Fidna on May 24, 2011, 03:33:33 am
I had one hundred and ninety two dwarves. Long story short, big siege, I have twenty left. I had anticipated a bad tantrum spiral to finish them off. ...As it turns out, none of them like anyone except the other survivors anyway. So now I'm stuck with a tremendous fort that they aren't numerous enough to keep up properly, no one wants to migrate cause the place is a death hole, and I have a huge number of ghosts because I can't get together enough sarcophagi for my dead dwarves (in retrospect, when I had planned a large catacomb, I should've actually done it).
Did you know that "Sarcophagus" means "Flesh Eater"? The greeks called the stone Sarcophagi "lithos sarkophagos" meaning "Stone flesh eater". So you're technically feeding the dead to stone flesheaters
 8)

[/nerdom]

It's a pitty that you cannot weaponize Sarcophagi and do a vampire themed fortress.
Elf McPansy has been encased in a Sarcophagus.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on May 25, 2011, 12:09:26 am
I remember once accidentally making a bunch of wooden caskets by mistake. Then I realised I couldn't horrify Elves from beyond the grave by burying them in the caskets... I was sad that day.

However, I have also recently learned one should not cut off one's access to the outside world completely unless one means to.

That was a close one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on May 25, 2011, 05:36:52 am
Quote from: Eoganachta on May 24, 2011, 11:55:47 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on May 24, 2011, 12:17:47 pm
Quote from: Fidna on May 24, 2011, 03:33:33 am
I had one hundred and ninety two dwarves. Long story short, big siege, I have twenty left. I had anticipated a bad tantrum spiral to finish them off. ...As it turns out, none of them like anyone except the other survivors anyway. So now I'm stuck with a tremendous fort that they aren't numerous enough to keep up properly, no one wants to migrate cause the place is a death hole, and I have a huge number of ghosts because I can't get together enough sarcophagi for my dead dwarves (in retrospect, when I had planned a large catacomb, I should've actually done it).
Did you know that "Sarcophagus" means "Flesh Eater"? The greeks called the stone Sarcophagi "lithos sarkophagos" meaning "Stone flesh eater". So you're technically feeding the dead to stone flesheaters
 8)

[/nerdom]

It's a pitty that you cannot weaponize Sarcophagi and do a vampire themed fortress.
Elf McPansy has been encased in a Sarcophagus.
You can do the opposite, though. Encase someone in obsidian, mine out a boulder (holding presumably the victim's remains inside), and make a coffin out of it. Close enough.  ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mystery on May 25, 2011, 06:36:47 am
Cage'd a dragon i was immediately in love with the idea of having a pet dragon. After taming the dragon i decided to let it freely roam around my fort in case it spots some pesky goblins somewhere he shouldn't be. He did find a pesky goblin, in the most populated hallway of the fort (You might see where this is going), After biting the goblins arm off then clawing some faces off, then knocking out the goblin. The day was saved all was good again, then the dragon breathed fire, twice. 13 flaming dwarfs died, the most of a 9x9 stockpile of food was gone, almost all of my workshop area was burnt to the ground and the bloody goblin lived.

Marked the stupid dragon for slaughter, revenge is a dish best served in-a-way-that-makes-up-for-all-the-food-it-made-me-lose-and-feeds-my-fortress-through-the-winter.       
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Frog on May 25, 2011, 01:02:38 pm
Okay, so let's hypothesize that you are attempting to mod a race of dinosaur men into your Dwarf Fortress game. Not wanting to bother with actually learning how tissue layers and other stuff works, you just copy the entry of the first pre-existing reptilian critter you can find and add/remove/change/misspell tags as necessary.

However, upon genning a world and creating an adventurer of this new species, you find that, no matter what weapon skill you start with, you never have any equipment. Which course of action do you take?

A: Conclude that Toady didn't anticipate players attempting to create a race that can't use whips, and that this would, through unexplainable broken-script voodoo, prevent a sword user from getting equipment. Add in whips. Gen new world. Add in scourges. Gen new world. Copy equip list from ENTITY:PLAINS wholesale. Gen new world. Despair.
B: Assume that you made a mistake with the entity tags somewhere that somehow prevents adventurers from getting equipment. Decide that looking around to find this mistake would take too damn long. Copy the entirety of ENTITY:PLAINS over, overwriting your carefully-thought-out SELECT_SYMBOL tags, ETHIC tags, and leader positions. Gen new world. Cry like a newborn.
C: Look through the creature definition. Realize that you forgot to add [EQUIPS]. Slam head into nearby objects as needed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: uwaiawu on May 25, 2011, 03:28:21 pm
So I got my first Dragon on a save. In eager anticipation I pull my civvies into their hideyhole, get my military into position behind my traps and wait for the epic fight to happen, half expecting the Dragon would probably send my fort into a downward spiral.

Instead I get this:

The spinning bauxite strikes the Dragon in the head, bruising the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!
The Dragon has been knocked unconscious!

 ::) sigh...I'll send my military out to see if there is something left to poke at.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xmagicx60 on May 25, 2011, 05:14:17 pm
I thought I could make some drinking water by tunneling to an underground murky pool...

what I overlooked is that water flows down passages and so I flooded 6 workshops before I blocked the flow with walls... I barely saved a wood and goods stockpile. Now I've gotten rid of the workshops and turned the place into a underground farm. :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: newguy12354 on May 27, 2011, 12:39:15 pm
My high master glass maker(an immigrant) get a mood. Sadly, I didn't trade for any glass and in all honesty, I didn't want to bother making any because this dwarf was not really useful in my book other than his starting skills in glass making. He was a soaper too and a cheese maker, so I said, meh...

Error #1

After a few minutes, I decided... Why not try and give him the material? I destroyed the walls around the workshop and then started trying to make some glass for him. I had to make the charcoal and crap to start the industry, seeing as I have no magma to work with yet.

Error #2

The dwarf goes crazy shortly after, he is raving mad, but he isn't really troublesome. He climbed down into my mining hallways and kinda got lost there, so I said he'll eventually die down there without causing any problem, so I left it at that.

Error #3

The elven caravan comes along to trade and I really needed the wood (I started in a place where there are around 50 trees at all time on a 3x3 embark), usually, I'd just steal everything, but it has been a very long time since I played DF, so I decided not to make them angry right away... I trade the wood, everyone goes well, when my mad dwarf climbs all the way back up to the surface, topples the trade depot while the merchants are on it and goes back into my mining hallways. What a b****...

Result

Well, I guess I'll be looking into FUN very soon!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: foop on May 27, 2011, 01:29:37 pm
I thought I found a nice embark site.  Then the first two things in the log are:

Quote
You have located Grem Midor, "The General of Power", a shrine.
Tholtig Regzim, Miner cancels Pickup Equipment: Interrupted by Bronze Colossus.

It's not even a mercifully quick end.  Halfway through the fight, the Colossus picked up someone's sock and is now trying to beat the two remaining dwarves to death with it.

Quote
The Bronze Colossus strikes The expedition leader in the head with its (llama wool sock), bruising the muscle through the (guineafowl leather cap)!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on May 27, 2011, 02:51:45 pm
The Keeper Civ The Musical Confederacy worshipped a deity named Calvaria, the sphere of control?

Suicide  ::)

The ironic part is they were the only surviving Keeper civ and the second most populous race in the world...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on May 27, 2011, 03:20:01 pm
Quote from: foop on May 27, 2011, 01:29:37 pm

Quote
You have located Grem Midor, "The General of Power", a shrine.

Wait, what? Never seen anything like that before.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on May 27, 2011, 08:11:15 pm
Quote from: foop on May 27, 2011, 01:29:37 pm
The Bronze Colossus strikes The expedition leader in the head with its (llama wool sock), bruising the muscle through the (guineafowl leather cap)!

They like doing this. Bronze Colossi have a thing for beating dwarves with socks. I'm not sure why.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on May 28, 2011, 12:17:42 am
I suppose due to how massive they are, they are easily capable of wrestling clothes off puny dwarves. They just have some fetish for socks, going as far as beating dwarves to death with them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on May 28, 2011, 02:52:40 am
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on May 27, 2011, 02:51:45 pm
The Keeper Civ The Musical Confederacy worshipped a deity named Calvaria, the sphere of control?

Suicide  ::)

The ironic part is they were the only surviving Keeper civ and the second most populous race in the world...

Obviously their deity expressed her power by making people who refuse to worship her so miserable they commit suicide.  I figure it involves following them around being annoying.

Kinda like how a Dwarven God of consolation is associated with alcohol.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deus Machina on May 28, 2011, 04:37:24 am
I started up a new world, and found out that my dwarves have never developed the high boot. They're all foreign.

Oh, and so is iron. I have caravan guards with no iron armor or weapons, caravans that offer no iron goods, and I cannot order them from the liaison.

I can order steel stuff, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on May 28, 2011, 12:22:20 pm
Quote from: Rockphed on May 28, 2011, 02:52:40 am
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on May 27, 2011, 02:51:45 pm
The Keeper Civ The Musical Confederacy worshipped a deity named Calvaria, the sphere of control?

Suicide  ::)

The ironic part is they were the only surviving Keeper civ and the second most populous race in the world...

Obviously their deity expressed her power by making people who refuse to worship her so miserable they commit suicide.  I figure it involves following them around being annoying.

Kinda like how a Dwarven God of consolation is associated with alcohol.
Or maybe their music was just so awful a god began suggesting suicide to all believers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NotAQuisling on May 28, 2011, 01:53:25 pm
Back when I was still new I made a fort on an island. When I was warned the water was salty I ignored it thinking "Pfft, Real dwarves drink booze anyways!". In the end everyone died from either thirst, melancholy, or the fact my wood cutter went mad and killed people.I actually found out that water was important after the 1st few thirsty dwarves popped up.I tried (Failed) to make a water tower.I might reclaim one day.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on May 28, 2011, 02:18:15 pm
I had a well built over a river.  But the well was bringing up stagnant water.

After looking around for a bit i figured that it was because the well was too far from the map edge on either side, making it not think the water was flowing.

So I build a little platform for a screw pump a little bit downriver, figuring I would freshen the flow by pulling from the river and immediately dumping it back in.  I then hook it up DIRECTLY to a water wheel to keep it powered.

*facepalm*

The map starts flooding because the pump starts spewing water everywhere, despite the output being directly above the river, the river is a full 7/7 there.  The water from the pump has nowhere to go but onto the shore.

The whole pumping structure is a turbulent flood of endless water.  There is no emergency lever, because it's connected directly to the water wheel, nothing can be deconstructed to stop the terror because all who try just get washed into the river and drown.

Fortress death by waterwheel+screw pump.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dwarfhoplite on May 28, 2011, 03:36:38 pm
Reclaim on a 120 high mountain. what was i thinking...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dwarfhoplite on May 28, 2011, 03:44:10 pm
Quote from: RabidAnubis on May 22, 2011, 05:35:42 pm
Quote from: EvilWink on May 07, 2011, 09:29:20 pm
Quote from: Andal on May 07, 2011, 09:21:43 pm
Quote from: EvilWink on May 07, 2011, 09:03:19 pm
So I am facing a mass dehydration in my fortress because I cant get any wood to make barrels during an invasion. I decide that Im probably going to lose the fort anyways, so I send my two legendary axedwarves to stand behind my drawbridge and prepare to make a heroic last stand.

I pull the lever...


...and the bridge atom-smashes the two dwarfs and the invaders kill my fort

... you know you can make pots, functional equivalents of barrels, out of stone, right?

Facepalm part 2

Facepalm part three

This guy is joking, right?
I almost threw up the kebab i just ate because of this
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xRDVx on May 28, 2011, 03:59:01 pm
Quote
Thkut Monangustuh, Miner has died from thirst.

He died in an area I designated for mining a few seasons ago to be mined after he channeled his way in. Somehow he managed to trap himself in without any slopes to go back up. Glad he wasn't one of my legendary miners....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on May 28, 2011, 04:53:33 pm
Quote from: xRDVx on May 28, 2011, 03:59:01 pm
Quote
Thkut Monangustuh, Miner has died from thirst.

He died in an area I designated for mining a few seasons ago to be mined after he channeled his way in. Somehow he managed to trap himself in without any slopes to go back up. Glad he wasn't one of my legendary miners....
You should check your idlers, your health screen, and what the fuck you're doing more often. :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Heavily Armed Effigy on May 28, 2011, 07:18:23 pm
Two facepalm moments today:

1. My fortress, totally unprepared for battle, was almost completely annihilated by a goblin ambush. The goblins were beating up on an unconscious dwarf for literally months, unstoppable by my untrained dwarfs. Then a group of rhesus macaques spawned, and the goblins immediately fled the map.

2. The dwarf that was being beaten up by the goblins for months finally got rescued, and as soon as she was being carried to safety, she suffocated to death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deus Machina on May 28, 2011, 11:46:42 pm
Someone told me I can assign weapons and armor to the sheriff, and I'm facepalming because I still can't figure it out.

Soon as I can get the elves to bring some *Balsa war hammers* guess what he's getting.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on May 29, 2011, 12:33:49 am
Quote from: Deus Machina on May 28, 2011, 11:46:42 pm
Someone told me I can assign weapons and armor to the sheriff, and I'm facepalming because I still can't figure it out.

Soon as I can get the elves to bring some *Balsa war hammers* guess what he's getting.

Go into the [m]ilitary screen, set up a squad for "Sheriff" or "Captain of the Guard" (after 50 dorfs), set him up in a squad by himself, and assign him specific weapon and armor from there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deus Machina on May 29, 2011, 12:49:25 am
Quote from: MaximumZero on May 29, 2011, 12:33:49 am
Go into the [m]ilitary screen, set up a squad for "Sheriff" or "Captain of the Guard" (after 50 dorfs), set him up in a squad by himself, and assign him specific weapon and armor from there.

Yeah, that's the thing, I don't see 'Sheriff' or anything in the military screen.

Do I have to assign him as a militia captain, also?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on May 29, 2011, 12:54:46 am
Quote from: Deus Machina on May 28, 2011, 11:46:42 pm
Someone told me I can assign weapons and armor to the sheriff, and I'm facepalming because I still can't figure it out.

Soon as I can get the elves to bring some *Balsa war hammers* guess what he's getting.

Feather wood will probably be your best bet for material. It is an extremely light weight wood. If you can make a training hammer out of that, it should be the weakest hammer known to dwarf-kind... Since feather wood has a density of 100 and THAT WEIRD METAL has a density of 200.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xeivous on May 29, 2011, 12:55:41 am
Quote from: EmeraldWind on May 29, 2011, 12:54:46 am
Quote from: Deus Machina on May 28, 2011, 11:46:42 pm
Someone told me I can assign weapons and armor to the sheriff, and I'm facepalming because I still can't figure it out.

Soon as I can get the elves to bring some *Balsa war hammers* guess what he's getting.

Feather wood will probably be your best bet for material. It is an extremely light weight wood. If you can make a training hammer out of that, it should be the weakest hammer known to dwarf-kind... Since feather wood has a density of 100 and THAT WEIRD METAL has a density of 200.
You mean cotton candy right?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sallen on May 29, 2011, 06:40:40 am
Quote from: Samuel on May 16, 2011, 12:59:56 pm
I just found out you can designate more than one wall to be constructed at once. I'd been designating one by one since... since I started playing DF.

Well, now I just found out. And the worst part is that it took me two days after having read this post to realize...

YEARS, I'VE BEEN PLAYING YEARS!! :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on May 29, 2011, 09:55:06 am
Quote from: Deus Machina on May 29, 2011, 12:49:25 am
Quote from: MaximumZero on May 29, 2011, 12:33:49 am
Go into the [m]ilitary screen, set up a squad for "Sheriff" or "Captain of the Guard" (after 50 dorfs), set him up in a squad by himself, and assign him specific weapon and armor from there.

Yeah, that's the thing, I don't see 'Sheriff' or anything in the military screen.

Do I have to assign him as a militia captain, also?

I always do anyway, so I'm not sure.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xmagicx60 on May 29, 2011, 09:56:43 am
Quote from: Sallen on May 29, 2011, 06:40:40 am
Quote from: Samuel on May 16, 2011, 12:59:56 pm
I just found out you can designate more than one wall to be constructed at once. I'd been designating one by one since... since I started playing DF.

Well, now I just found out. And the worst part is that it took me two days after having read this post to realize...

YEARS, I'VE BEEN PLAYING YEARS!! :o
yikes, I found that out on my second day, the day I build my first walls XD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Karnewarrior on May 29, 2011, 10:46:22 am
Quote from: xmagicx60 on May 29, 2011, 09:56:43 am
Quote from: Sallen on May 29, 2011, 06:40:40 am
Quote from: Samuel on May 16, 2011, 12:59:56 pm
I just found out you can designate more than one wall to be constructed at once. I'd been designating one by one since... since I started playing DF.

Well, now I just found out. And the worst part is that it took me two days after having read this post to realize...

YEARS, I'VE BEEN PLAYING YEARS!! :o
yikes, I found that out on my second day, the day I build my first walls XD
Likewise.

I mean, I'm pretty sure the directions are right there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tyg13 on May 29, 2011, 12:53:15 pm
I was building a gearshaft to power my pump stack and get magma up from the magma sea (which is about 100 z-levels below my base) when all of a sudden, I'd realized that my mineshaft was flooded. Quickly, I paused.  Turns out that it doesn't give you a wet stone warning if you're digging up. Cue me spending about an hour messing around with DFLiquids trying to get the whole 100+ z-levels shaft dry and losing both of my legendary miners in the process.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: runlvlzero on May 29, 2011, 02:56:11 pm
Sending 6 moderately trained unarmed, naked dwarves after 3 giant panda's... (wasted an entire season of military training and cross training on these guys)

Amazingly they all lived, one with a severe head wound (Who is still in charge of their squad and recovered the fastest. Think huge scarred head like the crazy old dood from avatar...). Another with a leg crushed. The last with a leg and hand crushed. *Note to self leather armor and a marksman for panda's =) Anyway the cripples have been retired from the military and are now broker, and record keeper respectively =)... oh and the last gets to sit at a desk all day and cut gems. The scarred one gets to give lovely welcome speaches to all the new immigrents... to what I'm gonna call... *cough* PANDora! lol.. nvm...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: amjh on May 30, 2011, 02:05:29 am
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on May 28, 2011, 12:17:42 am
I suppose due to how massive they are, they are easily capable of wrestling clothes off puny dwarves. They just have some fetish for socks, going as far as beating dwarves to death with them.

This is Dwarf Fortress, everything has a fetish for socks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EllisMaestr on May 30, 2011, 02:08:15 am
Just realised what was causing the glitch that prevented my miners or mechanics doing anything outside a small area at the middle of the map. The burrow I'd assigned them to, 2 years ago.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxy15 on May 30, 2011, 03:34:43 am
I forgot that pumps don't deliver water to the Z-level above, they bring it to the Z-level they are in.
All I wanted was to turn saltwater into normal water..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SquirrelWizard on May 30, 2011, 02:25:05 pm
just deleted a fortress because there were no bees on it, then just found out that bees could have spawned in on it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kotekzot on May 30, 2011, 06:40:32 pm
Because beekeeping isn't the single most unrewarding and micromanagement-intensive industry there is.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eoganachta on May 31, 2011, 12:51:46 am
So a giant scorpion FB,  Urnut the night plagues, appears in the first caverns, beware it's poisonous sting. I wait a few minutes before it starts wandering aimlessly around. I think to my self that it'll be a while before it reaches my trap lined corridor with archers above and below, and two squads of 7 (picks and swords). So I log on to the fourms and check Facebook. After a while I suddenly remember that there's a FB in my caverns. I quickly switch back to DF and find the FB dead in the corridor. I check the reports and apparently one guy from my squad of miners decided that the scorpon would be fun to ride so he hits it twice and it dies, once in the guts, once in the head. WTF!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on May 31, 2011, 01:09:38 am
Took 15 bunnies with me on my embark, due to cheapness. Well, turns out that a) bunnies are baby rabbits, and do not breed until fully grown, and b) even when fully grown, rabbits do not give you any food. I'm going to have to mod them.  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on May 31, 2011, 08:57:14 am
You should milk them. :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lanceleoghauni on May 31, 2011, 09:00:30 am
I Carved an elaborate series of sewers to channel water up to my hospital for bathing/drinking/cleaning and installed an easy way to control water pressure and cleanliness. Once it was finished, I went and dug out the aquifer tile.

Nothing happened.

I look up one z-level. THREE TILE POND.
 :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MonkeyHead on May 31, 2011, 01:31:33 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxy15 on May 31, 2011, 01:36:25 pm
Quote from: MonkeyHead on May 31, 2011, 01:31:33 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Are you sure that's a vein, and not a pillar leading to !!FUN!!?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MonkeyHead on May 31, 2011, 02:23:51 pm
There is a hollow core, wihtout doubt, but plenty of sticky out bits. I am thinking of how to access them... but cant think of a method.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on May 31, 2011, 03:57:11 pm
Make a pond zone at least two levels above, so dwarves will dump water down on the magma.
This will cast obsidian that you can mine through when you get a 3x3 chunk.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Raptor_a22 on May 31, 2011, 05:54:07 pm
Migrants arrive!
I flip over to Dwarf Therapist and see what they do...
Lye making, glassmaking, small animal dissection, peasant, peasant.

New militia made!
I take a look where the migrants arrive...
I notice that theyre on the wrong side of a 10z level drop to my resident river

I get my carpenter to build a 3wide bridge (trader prep)
About 40 badgers arrive
Melbil has cancelled contrction, interrupted by badger!

*facepalm*

Luckily the badgers all moved off and stopped chasing him, theyre currently stuck on the other side of the river because it was winter and everything was frozen, and now its spring.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on May 31, 2011, 06:27:47 pm
I noticed that I had a bunch of criminals on my Justice screen with outstanding sentences for trade violation, probably due to the noble in question changing their mind after I was finished trading. Since the sentences were all less than a month and getting released from prison gives an insane mood boost, I appointed a dwarf that definitely wasn't on the list -- one of the four-named military dwarves.

Turns out I didn't have enough chains to go round.

Quote from: Mechatronic on May 16, 2011, 02:27:24 am
Just about finished a 116 level pump stack when I read that marble isn't magma-safe like I thought, and I have marble blocks in some pumps near the bottom. Sigh.
Little bit old, but that doesn't matter so long as the magma never shares a tile with the pump stack. It's only wood that's a no-no for magma pumping, and even then you can normally pump a little before the pump fails.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The Steel face palm on June 02, 2011, 12:16:12 pm
After having 19 captured giant badgers released right next to my town, I moved to the other side of my river. At that moment I got 3 goblin ambushes. On my side of the river.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Frelock on June 03, 2011, 01:42:49 am
As always, when starting a new fort, I go through several "founder candidate groups" and abort game if they don't have the stats it takes to be a founder.  Eventually after about an hours worth of looking at dwarf profile screens I get a good group; a very good doctor, a good military leader, and a good organizer/architect/leader.  There's also a decent farmer and cook among the others.  So I go through the tedious task of filling out items and pets and so forth.  Finally I embark.  Then I realize something...all my dwarves are dark gray.  I had completely forgotten to give them the relevant skills.  I now embark on a site that took half a day to find and prep for with 7 peasants.  *Facepalm*

I'm going with this fort anyhow, just means that the founders will literally have to skill up from nothing to be legendary.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on June 03, 2011, 09:43:22 am
I just flooded my hospital because I wanted to have a secondary well active. Luckily the only patient, my ex-expedition leader, survived (though he was flushed out of the room while in traction at the far end of the room) I removed the traction bench too because he'd been in traction for four months without anything happening; he's back to mining now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on June 03, 2011, 11:13:35 am
Quote from: Frelock on June 03, 2011, 01:42:49 am
As always, when starting a new fort, I go through several "founder candidate groups" and abort game if they don't have the stats it takes to be a founder.  Eventually after about an hours worth of looking at dwarf profile screens I get a good group; a very good doctor, a good military leader, and a good organizer/architect/leader.  There's also a decent farmer and cook among the others.  So I go through the tedious task of filling out items and pets and so forth.  Finally I embark.  Then I realize something...all my dwarves are dark gray.  I had completely forgotten to give them the relevant skills.  I now embark on a site that took half a day to find and prep for with 7 peasants.  *Facepalm*

I'm going with this fort anyhow, just means that the founders will literally have to skill up from nothing to be legendary.

You should check out Runesmith (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=59056.0). Embark with anyone and then change their stats in game.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Frelock on June 03, 2011, 04:52:54 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on June 03, 2011, 11:13:35 am
You should check out Runesmith (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=59056.0). Embark with anyone and then change their stats in game.

I'm a compulsive gambler.  Hitting the right stats at random is all part of the fun for me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on June 03, 2011, 06:13:45 pm
You could still do the same thing, but with likes and dislikes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Proxiee on June 03, 2011, 11:57:05 pm
>embark on a mountain

>3x3 spot that can only fit the wagon

>everyone else falls off the mountain and dies

what...wat?

Also, embarking on a "volcano spot" with no red volcano marker on the map. So I set out on the highest zlevel spot to find a 5000+ z level spiral of candy! Encased in 30x30 big block of hard magma that you cant dig through! When I revealed the map, HFS was just sad. It was 1 tile big. the rest was hard magma. I tried to stonesense it, but it caused my computer to blue screen D: And the fps, oh god, it had to have been at least 10 without even digging or running water. I just kept getting the message "Cave has collapsed"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yoink on June 04, 2011, 12:24:52 am
GodDAMNIT.

Just spent ages setting up heaps of workshops to make crystal glass for my megalomaniac expedition leader.
Then I look at the wiki to find out what "Rock Crystals" includes. *facepalm*
Is there any utility that would let me replace their love of crystal glass with an obtainable glass?!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkflagrance on June 04, 2011, 02:24:19 am
Just make a cheat reaction that does it. Make your "forge pewter alloy" reaction spit out crystal glass for free instead.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lanceleoghauni on June 04, 2011, 06:41:39 am
"GWAFAFAFAFA Everything is going according to plan, the magma reactor's been laid out, I've begun to ready the heart machine for building as well, and now all I need to do is start making the power/magma/water layers and pipes. Wait... what am I forgetting..."

 V V V V V V V V V V 

"OH SHI-"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Corona688 on June 04, 2011, 10:37:21 pm
I had 6 dwarves got driven down a channel and off an 80-z cavern cliff by draining water because they were trying to build coffins for dwarves that'd preceded them down, out of rocks from the channel of death.  That's over a quarter of the fort's population at this point.  One even took a freaking pick with him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: alesia on June 04, 2011, 11:20:41 pm
Embark on a 'Deep Metals, Shallow Metals, Flux' location, extinct civilization.  Result:  Lots of tetrahedrite and colbaltite.  Oh joy.  Plenty of marble and limestone, though, and sand and fire clay available too.  Not so bad, except from a weaponry and armoring standpoint.

Alright.  Plan B.  Humans will come soon.   Let's make some junk to trade for bronze whatsits.  ... no humans.

Alright.  Plan C.  Goblinite.  ... but all the goblins have is copper and leather, too.

FINE.  Shiny bluemetal it is.

(Ironically, I set metal frequency to 1000, down from 2500 stock.  At 500 I was finding all sorts of goodies in every layer, so I bumped rarity back up a little.  There must be a sweet spot somewhere in between...)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on June 05, 2011, 05:46:37 pm
Quote from: alesia on June 04, 2011, 11:20:41 pm
(Ironically, I set metal frequency to 1000, down from 2500 stock.  At 500 I was finding all sorts of goodies in every layer, so I bumped rarity back up a little.  There must be a sweet spot somewhere in between...)

I've seen a representation of the mineral occurrence as a graph. It seemed to be exponential in growth. Kind of like:
y = x^2
1 = 1^2
4 = 2^2
9 = 3^2
16 = 4^2

The higher x gets the more dramatic the increase in y... with the exception here being x needs to get smaller or something.

So it may be less of a sweet spot and more just your standard exponential growth being a lot more than the intended reaction.

EDIT: http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/DF2010:Advanced_world_generation
The graph is on this page.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: toue on June 05, 2011, 08:16:54 pm
Tanner just got a fey mood, takes over his shop and I have no idea what to expect because I don't do much tanning.
Few minutes later "Urist Mcdumbass has created Stigazbal, an elephant leather buckler!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on June 05, 2011, 10:23:58 pm
And that's bad why? It's much better than a useless loincloth or skirt.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on June 06, 2011, 11:50:10 am
I just got an ash flute, a turtle bone crown, and a cat leather earring. Blah. At least you guys can use yours.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Brandedahall on June 06, 2011, 12:49:02 pm
I got a pig tail fiber bikini. :|

srsly, what would a dwarf look like in a bikini :/
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serrational on June 06, 2011, 04:41:13 pm
Quote from: Brandedahall on June 06, 2011, 12:49:02 pm
srsly, what would a dwarf look like in a bikini :/
Such things are barely imaginable by mortal men, as when a dwarf would require to look alluring is.... difficult. The spores just drift around naturally. No encouragement needed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: George Dorn on June 06, 2011, 04:42:22 pm
One of my first embarks, I started to wonder if I could mine out the base of a hill to remove any access to the top. Everything was going fine and then all of a sudden there was a gigantic crash, dust clouds everywhere, and four dead dwarfs.

I wasn't even aware that the game had cave-ins, haha whoops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: toue on June 06, 2011, 08:24:09 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on June 05, 2011, 10:23:58 pm
And that's bad why? It's much better than a useless loincloth or skirt.
Now I'm worried some stupid recruit is going to decide that a leather shield is the best way to protect himself, and I won't notice until his guts are all over the barracks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eoganachta on June 06, 2011, 11:43:03 pm
Quote from: Serrational on June 06, 2011, 04:41:13 pm
Quote from: Brandedahall on June 06, 2011, 12:49:02 pm
srsly, what would a dwarf look like in a bikini :/
Such things are barely imaginable by mortal men, as when a dwarf would require to look alluring is.... difficult. The spores just drift around naturally. No encouragement needed.

I'm imagining huge balls of beard with hands and feet. No wonder the kittens adopt dwarves; they think they're just big balls of string!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thorus on June 07, 2011, 04:29:08 am
I just send my dwarves to clean up the last goblin ambush which died in my upright spear trap. I forgot to cancel the "Pull the Lever - R" job. Now I have lost some dwarves to my own stupidity. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on June 07, 2011, 02:43:51 pm
Quote from: toue on June 06, 2011, 08:24:09 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on June 05, 2011, 10:23:58 pm
And that's bad why? It's much better than a useless loincloth or skirt.
Now I'm worried some stupid recruit is going to decide that a leather shield is the best way to protect himself, and I won't notice until his guts are all over the barracks.
But, shield materials are all identical for the purposes of blocking. The only difference material makes is weight, and ability to bash things.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: toue on June 07, 2011, 10:55:54 pm
Alright so not long ago I caught a minotaur in a cage trap, almost as soon as he entered the map. After a bit I let him do some arena combat to help clean out my massive stocks of caged goblins. The very first time I let them all loose I forgot to lock the doors, but everyone got caught again in the traps I set outside the arena. Not long after that I got irritated with my dorfs for being too retarded and abandoned and reclaimed. When I returned I realized the minotaur had freed itself, and was currently mauling things in the caverns. Before long I had sealed him in well enough, and forgot about him again until I had resorted everything into stockpiles and such. Well when I finished I wanted to recapture the minotaur, so I set up a few cage traps outside the wall I was having him reenter the fort through. I am then distracted by a few ambushes, which manage to kill a few dwarves. When I'm finished with them, I go back to find that while the cage traps were set up fine, the minotaur had just walked on by them, and was slaughtering my fortress from the bottom up. My military, a bit the worse for wear from the ambushes completely failed to stop him, and he eventually caused my first total fort kill.

I'm reclaiming again and I swear I will capture that son of a bitch, and he is not getting loose again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Montague on June 07, 2011, 11:37:38 pm
Well, mine is a bit different.

So, my first time experimenting with macros, I recorded a lengthy session of an adventurer picking up a big stockpile of rocks, and throwing them back down. So my guy was sitting in some random woods, in sneak-mode, and I played my macro. It went ok, albeit much slower then just doing it manually, then I see a single approaching from the side. "No problem, I'll just cancel the macro and go smash this wolf".

Nope. The macro keeps playing, no matter what I do. The wolf attacks and displaces me to a grassy patch. Since it has "a" in the macro, over and over, I kept getting the announcement page coming up, blinking, while squeezing in commands to kill the damn wolf or something, which, in the process I managed to set fire to all the shrubs around with my arrow-key mashing to chase and kill this wolf while this damn macro is spamming other key commands.
So, I eventually get caught in the fires the macro was setting and I get "you are melting x59" before I ever kill the wolf and I die. That doesn't stop the macro, which is still hitting "t,t,enter" and on exiting advent mode, it selects my favorite fort save, which I'm suddenly looking at. Struggling to stop the madness, I manage to abandon the fortress.

Turns out I abandoned fortress on the only good save of a long-going project that set me back two weeks or so in IRL gameplay.

I manged to exit DF while the macro kept spamming "t,t,enter".

Not sure if that counted as "Fun" or not, but it certainly punished the crap out of me for inexperience, which is fun, I think.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eoganachta on June 09, 2011, 03:32:45 am
Started playing Fortress Defense mod. Gened a world. Found a nice spot with sand, volcano, brook, and snow. Used a embark profile from previous game. returned with problems (some items were not availiable etc). Ignored message. Messed with skills and items. Chose names. Embarked. Dug out majority of fort to get ready for seiges. Only realized as it turned summer that I did not bring an anvil. Apparently my civ doesnt have access to iron and the iron anvil was removed from the embark profile.
Damn
At least I have the +Serrated Glass Blades+ to line my corridor and enough livestock to slaughter and use their bones for bows and arrows. Hopefully the next carravan has an anvil.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jeffery on June 10, 2011, 09:34:13 pm
Started a new fort today, so far so good, except for one of my dwarves went into a strange mood. He was a gem cutter, and at first I thought it wasn't a big deal. I just built a jeweler's work shop and he claimed it and just sat in there. I watched him for a minute then i realized that I don't have any jewels for him to craft with. So, i just walled him in and now he is going berserk trying to get out.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ETV on June 10, 2011, 09:38:18 pm
I was trying to flatten my map a little and I dug under a z-level as I wasn't paying much attention and forgot that ramps generally mean there is something above you, and that when you remove that last flimsy twig you should have invested in some adamantine miner hats.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FluidDynamite on June 10, 2011, 10:57:25 pm
Quote from: Montague on June 07, 2011, 11:37:38 pm
Well, mine is a bit different.

So, my first time experimenting with macros, I recorded a lengthy session of an adventurer picking up a big stockpile of rocks, and throwing them back down. So my guy was sitting in some random woods, in sneak-mode, and I played my macro. It went ok, albeit much slower then just doing it manually, then I see a single approaching from the side. "No problem, I'll just cancel the macro and go smash this wolf".

Nope. The macro keeps playing, no matter what I do. The wolf attacks and displaces me to a grassy patch. Since it has "a" in the macro, over and over, I kept getting the announcement page coming up, blinking, while squeezing in commands to kill the damn wolf or something, which, in the process I managed to set fire to all the shrubs around with my arrow-key mashing to chase and kill this wolf while this damn macro is spamming other key commands.
So, I eventually get caught in the fires the macro was setting and I get "you are melting x59" before I ever kill the wolf and I die. That doesn't stop the macro, which is still hitting "t,t,enter" and on exiting advent mode, it selects my favorite fort save, which I'm suddenly looking at. Struggling to stop the madness, I manage to abandon the fortress.

Turns out I abandoned fortress on the only good save of a long-going project that set me back two weeks or so in IRL gameplay.

I manged to exit DF while the macro kept spamming "t,t,enter".

Not sure if that counted as "Fun" or not, but it certainly punished the crap out of me for inexperience, which is fun, I think.

Dwarf Fortress: Where macros can cause you to set yourself on fire and then screw up a save in a completely different mode. Wow. :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zhaine on June 10, 2011, 11:46:21 pm
Wanted to save my fort and gen a new world for some fun and to try some different ideas... Hit abandon without thinking -.- sigh
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TapeNoot on June 11, 2011, 11:28:09 am
Presuming the flurry of 'cannot find water source' messages meant the animals I hadn't got around to pasturing were dying of thirst.

They were. So were the !!painfully!! sober dorfs.

Cue all the animals, and about a third of my population, dying in a few seconds. Immediately instructed booze to be produced on repeat, but, given the fact that the still is in the same small room as nearly everything else (early after embark after all), the resulting tantrum-fuelled mess delayed production.
Now down to half of my initial population, the first barrel of booze is cranked out, pulling all the remaining buggers into the one tight space.

Some hadn't started been set off yet. And now they are. And the population drops again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samohan25 on June 11, 2011, 03:08:14 pm
Quote from: Montague on June 07, 2011, 11:37:38 pm
Well, mine is a bit different.

So, my first time experimenting with macros, I recorded a lengthy session of an adventurer picking up a big stockpile of rocks, and throwing them back down. So my guy was sitting in some random woods, in sneak-mode, and I played my macro. It went ok, albeit much slower then just doing it manually, then I see a single approaching from the side. "No problem, I'll just cancel the macro and go smash this wolf".

Nope. The macro keeps playing, no matter what I do. The wolf attacks and displaces me to a grassy patch. Since it has "a" in the macro, over and over, I kept getting the announcement page coming up, blinking, while squeezing in commands to kill the damn wolf or something, which, in the process I managed to set fire to all the shrubs around with my arrow-key mashing to chase and kill this wolf while this damn macro is spamming other key commands.
So, I eventually get caught in the fires the macro was setting and I get "you are melting x59" before I ever kill the wolf and I die. That doesn't stop the macro, which is still hitting "t,t,enter" and on exiting advent mode, it selects my favorite fort save, which I'm suddenly looking at. Struggling to stop the madness, I manage to abandon the fortress.

Turns out I abandoned fortress on the only good save of a long-going project that set me back two weeks or so in IRL gameplay.

I manged to exit DF while the macro kept spamming "t,t,enter".

Not sure if that counted as "Fun" or not, but it certainly punished the crap out of me for inexperience, which is fun, I think.

Odd, are macros meant to keep playing repeatedly? I normaly put in a command such as 'g, a' and hold Ctrl + P untill I have enough, then go on to the throw command. The only problem is that it may do this:
'g,a,g,a,a,g,a,a,g,g,a'
Mostly because it starts the macro over and over.

My facepalm has to be the time when I leveled my adventurer up to legendary in a keeper (this is Genesis) fortress, only to step outside and get mauled to death by a bear. A BEAR.

Steel equipment + ~5 hours of work = Fun
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chezmonkey on June 12, 2011, 03:42:58 pm
Spent a good 10-20 minutes CAREFULLY preparing my embarkation after spending a good 30 finding the right spot. Had all the dwarves, and equipment I wanted. To get more points, I discarded my steel battle axes after thinking I'd seen a normal copper axe on the list. Turns out there wasn't.

No Axe = No Wood
*Facepalm*

Luckily I crudely made a wooden training axe from the wagon bits... AFTER spending a good while emptying it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: cswvna on June 12, 2011, 05:26:43 pm
Quote from: Chezmonkey on June 12, 2011, 03:42:58 pm
Luckily I crudely made a wooden training axe from the wagon bits... AFTER spending a good while emptying it.
Emptying it? Why bother? As long as you do it after the initial rush for building materials and equipment, you can just disassemble it and let crap spill over a 5x5 area.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on June 12, 2011, 06:47:02 pm
Set up a succession game. After carefully preparing an embark to take full advantage of the volcano on the shores of a freshwater lake, I left. Going well, but a few months in the food starts to drop quickly. Then I realized: I embarked without cats!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HiEv on June 13, 2011, 02:25:49 am
I spent in-game months making the perfect waterway from my brook to the well in my hospital.  It had floors, so no plants would grow and block it.  It had both fortifications and wall grates to keep anything out.  And it had floodgates so I could shut it off if needed.  It's almost a work of art.

I'm all set to open it up... and winter hits, freezing the brook solid.  (Facepalm #1)

The brook finally defrosts in mid-spring (mid-spring, dang it!), and I open the floodgates.  However, I forgot that the water wouldn't flow back up to the brook's level, so it's one z level lower than I planned.  Now the well only provides stagnant water.  (Facepalm #2)

Fortunately, I saved before opening the floodgates, so I savescum to go back and fix the problem.  I tear up the floor area I'd built below the well and dig one level lower... and I hit an aquifer.  So I now discover that I wasted all of that time on the perfect waterway when it wasn't needed at all.  (Major Facepalm)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: troyfawkes on June 13, 2011, 09:59:20 am
Made my first danger room. I figured this would help make my melee fighters slightly less retarded. I gave them all full leather armour to ward off the nasty wooden bits. At the first volcano of blood I figured something was amiss. Turns out I misread and filled it with menacing spikes instead of training spears.

Woops.

One of the eight survived. Kind of. Anyway, a wave of nine migrants showed up as the military was getting butchered.

So, you know, in the end we came out on top.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sir Iryn on June 13, 2011, 10:26:32 am
New fortress, just set up, built a lever in the meeting hall and a drawbridge for quick and dirty defense.

Fast Forward one year later, "Huh. Where did these extra two mechanisms come from? Oh well."

Fast forward another year, "CRAP! AMBUSH! RAISE THE BRIDGE! Hey, why isn't it rais.... oh."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on June 13, 2011, 12:29:11 pm
Quote from: troyfawkes on June 13, 2011, 09:59:20 am
One of the eight survived. Kind of. Anyway, a wave of nine migrants showed up as the military was getting butchered.

So, you know, in the end we came out on top.

That is both true and existentially terrifying.

Me? I captured a giant moose... somehow. I'm not sure how. And an assload of goblins.

Anyway, a few minutes later I get spammed with messages of "Urist McJobperson cancels task: interrupted by Giant Moose Bull." Turns out some dumbass released the Giant Moose as soon as my back was turned... I'm still not entirely sure how it got free.

Or that one goblin that somehow escaped. I'm really not sure about that one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrFluffums on June 13, 2011, 01:19:05 pm
I think my worst facepalm was on my first fortress.  I had managed to set up about 3/4 of what I needed to be self sutaining.

I was digging out nearly the highest level of the mountain, so that I could put another office above the other two I had made vertically (Baron, and a dwarf who headed Bookkeeping and Brokering) when I learned about collapses.  I managed to kill 2 miners, the Baron, and the Bookkeeper as well as the liason.  The offices were utterly destroyed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Monk321654 on June 13, 2011, 06:33:29 pm
So many accidents involving Miner training.
I would designate a soil cliff to be cut away. Then, I didn't like the overhang, so I'd set it to be channeled out.
Almost always ended up with a dead Dwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrAnderson on June 14, 2011, 01:59:54 pm
just had one.
to prevent catsplosion, i designated a pit over a river and threw 2 cats down the river. 1 drowned eventually, the other one lived a full year with 2 paws missing, loosing a lot of blood and pus according to the painted walls on the side of the river in the water without moving away. then the next winter: freeze and insta-thaw in the same moment, cat dead.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Root Infinity on June 14, 2011, 04:06:43 pm
"Whadda you mean; lignite isn't magma-safe?"

There goes that section of my constructions.

(The bridge deconstructed and let magma mix with the water prematurely in the obsidian cast)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cerol Lenslens on June 15, 2011, 07:40:24 am
I found out that dead elephants can be much more troublesome than live ones.

My current fort is a savannah volcanic island - lots of elephants, rhinoceri, and so on. Nothing but salt water around, and I'd put a water purification plant on the back burner when the farms began pumping out enough plump helmets to keep booze plentiful. I'd laid out a line of cage traps near one of the borders so I could start building a zoo of death for my own amusement, and caught a whole herd of elephants. I'd been nearly starved at that point due to migrants and forgetting to update the new farms as the season changed, and discovered that my elephants were too heavy for the merchants to accept, and would starve to death if I tamed them, so I butchered something like six of them. I thought my extensive new food stockpile could handle it.

I thought wrong.

I blithely went off to supervise the massive gem-mining project I had going, and wasn't paying attention until I started receiving the "Urist McImportantWorker has dropped dead of thirst!" messages.

"Bwuh?" I responded intelligently. "But I've got Urist McBrewer queued up to the gills with jobs! Did he cancel them for some stupid reason? Oh yeah, I turned off job cancel spam because people kept trying to haul missing items for some reason. He probably just ran out of barrels. I'll just queue up another full batch of barrels, and requeue up the brewing, and things should be fine!"

Another dead dwarf later, and I went back. "I know those barrels were made! The wood stockpile is being refilled as I speak. Why isn't McBrewer Brewing? Maybe a dwarf just drank all the booze? I'll check the stockpile for empty barr- Oh. My. Armok."  :o

It was a veritable explosion of Elephant Tallow. They were hip deep in the stuff. All the barrels were being repurposed to store Elephant Tallow, and my dwarves were snatching them away before McBrewer could claim one, so he'd cancel all of the jobs in a huff. I tried another full queue of barrels, but it didn't even make a dent. I decided to clear some room by queueing the kitchen with umpteen lavish meal requests, figuring that'd open up some stockpile space. It was only when I saw the masterpiece roast announcement that I checked the kitchen, noticed that the stockpile was still full, and looked in the kitchen. It was cluttered with about three pages of Elephant Tallow that had never made it to the full-up stockpile after the fat-rendering process! The cook wasn't even bothering to look at the stockpile, because he was blithely just cooking Elephant Tallow Roasts all day long with the stuff slathered liberally over the kitchen.

 By the time I got a new stockpile dug out, an additional carpenter workshop online, and the carpenters and brewer to stop chasing evaporating puddles for drinkable moisture, a third of the fortress had died.

At least Babar can rest easy, knowing he got his revenge.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Endiqua on June 15, 2011, 08:22:46 am
Nice post! 

Rock pots, man....rock pots.   :D

Quote
because he was blithely just cooking Elephant Tallow Roasts all day long with the stuff slathered liberally over the kitchen.

What an image.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zwei on June 15, 2011, 09:43:42 am
Quote from: Endiqua on June 15, 2011, 08:22:46 am
Nice post! 

Rock pots, man....rock pots.   :D

Quote
because he was blithely just cooking Elephant Tallow Roasts all day long with the stuff slathered liberally over the kitchen.

What an image.

Just ... set reserve barrels in stoc'p'ile menu to 5 or so.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ipwnurmom221 on June 15, 2011, 10:40:50 am
Quote from: HugoLuman on June 12, 2011, 06:47:02 pm
<other crap> Then I realized: I embarked without cats!

This is a good thing. Facepalmed over how awesome your lack of cats is? If you have more than one, you're just asking for a lag-inducing catsplosion
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Monk321654 on June 15, 2011, 03:02:38 pm
My recent fortress drowned. It was terrible.
I was making a farm, and decided I'd get water from the brook. Installed a flood gate, and a door. Opened the brook, and water rushes in. Due to an accident, and bad response, the lever was pulled late, resulting in the farm being flooded to 3 and 4 depth water. I decided to try and pump the water out. I dug a separate tunnel leading from the farm to the surface, and I had supplies for pumps made. Installed one pump, and realized that the dwarf who finished it was trapped inside. After that, I gave up, and flooded the fortress. A Miner, Weaponsmith, and Craftsdwarf managed to survive the flooding by hiding in the storage room. I ordered them to break down the door, and they did. Everyone died except that wood cutter, who broke down the pump and ran outside.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on June 15, 2011, 04:22:32 pm
One of my military dwarves earned himself the title, "the Bite of Enjoyment."  ::)

He's one of the 5 that tried to bite the Bronze Colossus we fought... so I guess it actually fits.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Manic Typist on June 15, 2011, 10:01:10 pm
Sending out soldiers to fight goblins (or any enemy, really)....armed with training weapons instead of their normal steel weapons.

Again.

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aspgren on June 16, 2011, 07:58:35 am
Footman Kogan made me chuckle and facepalm a while ago.

 Watching the soldiers gather for an expedition underground, I looked through their backpacks and such just for fun. It seemed everyone had packed cheese, bisquits and wine :) they were all in good spirits .. except Kogan. he had two Chars for lunch and he had 10 units of water and 2 units of wine in his waterskin.
 and he was both hungry and thirsty too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Evaristo Carriego on June 16, 2011, 01:13:05 pm
I dug a 71-levels-deep hole to draw water from an aquatic cave level, the only source of water in the whole map. It's right next to a very busy staircase that leads to my farms.

Every harvest season is like a fortress-wide game of Dwarven roulette.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Monk321654 on June 16, 2011, 02:28:25 pm
Just built this super complicated pump system to move water out of the farm area in case it flooded, with a windmill on top.
Power Available: 40 Power Needed: 65.
FUUUUUUUU!
So I had to dig a super intricate system of stairways and operate every pump manually.
Ugh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Root Infinity on June 16, 2011, 06:00:38 pm
Quote from: Monk321654 on June 16, 2011, 02:28:25 pm
Just built this super complicated pump system to move water out of the farm area in case it flooded, with a windmill on top.
Power Available: 40 Power Needed: 65.
FUUUUUUUU!
So I had to dig a super intricate system of stairways and operate every pump manually.
Ugh.
Why didn't you just build two mechanisms and an axle between them with two windmills on top, like this?
Code: [Select]
|  |
O  O
|  |
z+1
Code: [Select]

*==*

z
Code: [Select]
XXXXX
X_%>~
XXXXX
z-1
Legend:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

EDIT: Magma =/= water
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on June 16, 2011, 06:02:38 pm
Quote from: Monk321654 on June 16, 2011, 02:28:25 pm
Just built this super complicated pump system to move water out of the farm area in case it flooded, with a windmill on top.
Power Available: 40 Power Needed: 65.
FUUUUUUUU!
So I had to dig a super intricate system of stairways and operate every pump manually.
Ugh.
Could you not have expanded the power supply to include a second windmill? Or possibly a third in view of power lost to gear assemblies? I had a similar almost-problem with my magma pump stack; I was using the mini-reactor, rated for 80 urists of power, and constructed a stack which should have taken about 60, including line losses. Got everything hooked up, checked the system, and saw that it would need 81 urists; freaked out for a moment, because I had built my reactor such that it couldn't easily be expanded, meaning I'd have to either rebuild it, or tack another reactor on just for that last single urist of power. Fortunately, after I got the reactor going, I realized that I'd miscalculated all the power consumed by the system relative to the power produced, and it did and does work.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Edit: Ninja'd!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kaffo on June 17, 2011, 03:43:35 pm
When I was building a reactor at the bottom of a cavern which was indeed the only source of water on the map like our poor lad at the top of the page, built the reactor, worked great, after about 10 minutes started to wonder why no mining was being done, had a look about to find I'd forgotten to un-designate a section of the reactor to be dug out and all 10 of my miners had dived into the cave lake to try and dig it out, every one of them were standing on the single dry square of land where the pump was taking the water from and I had no way to get them out..... Crap
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on June 17, 2011, 05:39:05 pm
Quote from: Manic Typist on June 15, 2011, 10:01:10 pm
Sending out soldiers to fight goblins (or any enemy, really)....armed with training weapons instead of their normal steel weapons.
Training weapons aren't necessary in .31. Keep them with steel.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jiokuy on June 17, 2011, 06:25:44 pm
Today I learned the reason my dwarves were not hauling bones to the refuse stockpile (and thus resulting in ratsplosions, and a lack of bones dooming my (fourth) bone economy based fortress), was due to outside refuse hauling being set to off. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Manic Typist on June 17, 2011, 09:20:41 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on June 17, 2011, 05:39:05 pm
Quote from: Manic Typist on June 15, 2011, 10:01:10 pm
Sending out soldiers to fight goblins (or any enemy, really)....armed with training weapons instead of their normal steel weapons.
Training weapons aren't necessary in .31. Keep them with steel.

Goblin prisoners don't last as long in my training room when soldiers use steel.

:D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on June 18, 2011, 12:54:14 pm
Quote from: Manic Typist on June 17, 2011, 09:20:41 pm
Goblin prisoners don't last as long in my training room when soldiers use steel.
Oh yes, that. Dwarves armed with training weapons are scary. The one time I had a dwarf train on a prisoner, she battered her for 86 pages before punching her head in through her iron helm. I haven't done it since. :o

On the plus side, it's free XP so long as the attackers aren't going to be killing your soldiers in the next week or so.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Manic Typist on June 18, 2011, 02:23:05 pm
How did you manage to leave the prisoner's helm on yet take away any weapons? My prisoners are all naked, which means they only last about 10 pages or so.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on June 18, 2011, 07:27:04 pm
After you mass-dump their stuff, undump their armor from the stocks screen.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Manic Typist on June 18, 2011, 11:34:46 pm
......thank you.

*Evil, evil grin*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Noir on June 19, 2011, 09:20:10 am
Quote from: Manic Typist on June 15, 2011, 10:01:10 pm
Sending out soldiers to fight goblins (or any enemy, really)....armed with training weapons instead of their normal steel weapons.

Again.

*facepalm*

Sometimes I do that on purpose. My soldiers are so awesome that, against goblins and trolls armed with non-blunt weapons, they slaughter them even with training weapons.
They get more experience this way.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Manic Typist on June 20, 2011, 07:19:02 pm
Investigating Zone orders under the [ o ] menu.... and discovering that there's an option (I think) which prevents my dwarves from running outside and instead drink from the nice, safe well I've designated in my fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on June 21, 2011, 02:05:47 am
Quote from: Manic Typist on June 20, 2011, 07:19:02 pm
Investigating Zone orders under the [ o ] menu.... and discovering that there's an option (I think) which prevents my dwarves from running outside and instead drink from the nice, safe well I've designated in my fort.
Yes indeed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on June 22, 2011, 12:19:15 pm
Quote from: Manic Typist on June 20, 2011, 07:19:02 pm
Investigating Zone orders under the [ o ] menu.... and discovering that there's an option (I think) which prevents my dwarves from running outside and instead drink from the nice, safe well I've designated in my fort.

If this is an ongoing problem with your forts, you really need to brew more booze..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Benedict Hardy on June 22, 2011, 03:02:02 pm
A
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on June 22, 2011, 03:55:10 pm
Quote from: geoduck on June 22, 2011, 12:19:15 pm
Quote from: Manic Typist on June 20, 2011, 07:19:02 pm
Investigating Zone orders under the [ o ] menu.... and discovering that there's an option (I think) which prevents my dwarves from running outside and instead drink from the nice, safe well I've designated in my fort.

If this is an ongoing problem with your forts, you really need to brew more booze..

Indeedy. I always make a 3x3 square of 6 breweries and 3 craftsdorf's workshops (Hooray rock pots!). Booze for the booze god!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yoink on June 23, 2011, 09:13:18 am
Whilst trying desperately to finish as much of my sucession turn in Crewtowns (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=86509.0), I found time to check on one of my many hunters.

The moron is standing at the edge of the river, firing bolts at the fish swimming by. *Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Suihanki on June 23, 2011, 01:29:17 pm
I make a hospital, but don't pay attention to it's stocks. Later on, I dig up some adamantite. After a lot of extraction, I go to make wafers. There aren't any materials for it.

Even worse, I realize this after mopping up a siege. I look in my hospital to find several soldiers sporting adamantine-thread stitches...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sjotrik on June 23, 2011, 04:58:33 pm
I put my dwarves to work, and all they do is drinking.

-*FACEPALM*-

And then! Oh yes! Migrants! let`s hope for more work getting started.
But NO! All the migrants walks straight into the kitchen and start chuggin` on them barrels...

-*FACEPALM*-


*thinking about quitting fortress*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Khris on June 24, 2011, 05:34:07 am
I just ordered my miners to remove a part of the hill overlapping to the wall of my fortress without realizing I was creating cave-in situation.
Now one of them lies dead on the ground of the moat.....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jorum on June 24, 2011, 12:34:46 pm
I spent a good few years wondering why my mule-breeding program wasn't getting anywhere.
Idiot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Root Infinity on June 24, 2011, 12:38:08 pm
Quote from: jorum on June 24, 2011, 12:34:46 pm
I spent a good few years wondering why my mule-breeding program wasn't getting anywhere.
Idiot.

The sad part is that mules in DF arn't sterile - they just are all male.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mister Dirks on June 24, 2011, 06:33:37 pm
was channeling some water to build a moat, forgot that water could go diagnol, and flooded my entire fortress. >.<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RickyLosolla on June 24, 2011, 06:56:04 pm
Had a possesed dwarf that wanted cloth.
Elven trade caraven pops up with the cloth I need.
Trade them buckets. Made out of wood.
??????
NOT PROFIT!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on June 24, 2011, 07:55:24 pm
Quote from: RickyLosolla on June 24, 2011, 06:56:04 pm
Had a possesed dwarf that wanted cloth.
Elven trade caraven pops up with the cloth I need.
Trade them buckets. Made out of wood.
??????
NOT PROFIT!
Should have deconstructed the depot before they could load up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Merkuri on June 24, 2011, 09:49:33 pm
Fought a forgotten beast.  I was smart enough to install a dwarven bath between the cavern entrance and my fort, so the extract ended up in the bath and not tracked all along my fortress.  Unfortunately, I also have a bunch of dwarves whose clothes have rotted away and they haven't bothered to pick up new ones.  Every so often one of them will traipse through the bath, walk a few paces, and fall unconscious.  This is not usually a big deal.  They get carried back to the hospital, spend a few days there, then get up good as new.  I haven't been very motivated to figure out how to cleanse the bath.

This time, however, a naked miner walked through and passed out on top of a cage trap.  Luckily, the trap was not loaded.

A short amount of time passes and I see this message: Urist McMason cancels recover wounded: Unconscious.  I zoom in and find out that he decided to pass out on a weapon trap.  Lots of mason pieces all over the place.  :(

As I'm facepalming over this, a dwarf comes along and loads the cage trap.  :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on June 24, 2011, 10:56:01 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on June 24, 2011, 07:55:24 pm
Quote from: RickyLosolla on June 24, 2011, 06:56:04 pm
NOT PROFIT!
Should have deconstructed the depot before they could load up.
You can also just tap the 's' button once you get the message about not trading. Their stuff still has the [ T ] next to it, so just pinch what you want.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Da Vinci on June 25, 2011, 01:14:52 am
I order a set of recruits to patrol the edge of the river, to scare large fish into a cluster of cage traps that I built in a now-flooded area beside the river. One of the recruits, a zealous wrestler, decides to leap into the river to punch a fish in the dorsal fin. He can't swim...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: antlion12 on June 25, 2011, 08:39:27 pm
I once embarked in the winter in a spot that had no mountain
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tlc2011 on June 25, 2011, 08:50:39 pm
To above: HOW THE HECK IS THAT A FACEPALM?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tcei on June 25, 2011, 08:57:44 pm
I've gotten my first fell mood ever!!! Unfortunately everyone is slowly (very very slowly) drowning, and my fell mood dwarf cant reach anyone *facepalm*

Edit: Ha! He just murdered a ghost!!! But alas! No body XD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: antlion12 on June 25, 2011, 09:03:02 pm
Quote from: Tlc2011 on June 25, 2011, 08:50:39 pm
To above: HOW THE HECK IS THAT A FACEPALM?


Well i was not possible to do anything but wait because i had no carpenter and  dwarfs cant dig snow
 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on June 25, 2011, 09:14:08 pm
So did you not have a pick?
I'm still confused about why having no mountain would have much of an effect on gameplay.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaming Toadstool on June 25, 2011, 09:16:33 pm
Quote from: antlion12 on June 25, 2011, 09:03:02 pm
Well i was not possible to do anything but wait because i had no carpenter and  dwarfs cant dig snow

Acutally, they can with a pick. If you have no elevation at all, just channel down.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: A-Dos on June 25, 2011, 09:25:17 pm
Had my engraver decide to bath in some magma to wash off Kobold Blood (Must be a water/magma identification bug, I suppose.) Needless to say, he died a dwarfy death, and is now haunting still dead my Magma Smelting room.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Khris on June 26, 2011, 03:52:41 am
Don't geese have anything better to do to walk into my traps?
Now I have four caged geese, some more of them dead and goose blood everywhere...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on June 26, 2011, 03:04:20 pm
Quote from: Khris on June 26, 2011, 03:52:41 am
Don't geese have anything better to do to walk into my traps?
Now I have four caged geese, some more of them dead and goose blood everywhere...

Tame them, and use them to build a birdsplosion trap. (Somebody started a thread about them, but I'm too lazy to find the link at the moment.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on June 26, 2011, 10:50:02 pm
Just now noticed in the bring goods to depot screen I can filter items by name with "e".  Please don't tell me that's been there since 2D or I'm going to feel exceptionally stupid.

Also can chance sorting order from 'by distance' to 'by value'.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AutomataKittay on June 27, 2011, 12:45:58 am
Quote from: Greiger on June 26, 2011, 10:50:02 pm
Just now noticed in the bring goods to depot screen I can filter items by name with "e".  Please don't tell me that's been there since 2D or I'm going to feel exceptionally stupid.

Also can chance sorting order from 'by distance' to 'by value'.

It's been there since 40d or before, both of them :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Khris on June 27, 2011, 02:38:43 am
Quote from: Vorthon on June 26, 2011, 03:04:20 pm
Tame them, and use them to build a birdsplosion trap. (Somebody started a thread about them, but I'm too lazy to find the link at the moment.)

Too late, I butchered most of them....birdsplosion? Guess I need to search for that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dutchling on June 27, 2011, 06:30:54 am
They lay a crapload of eggs, which basically causes the birdsplosion.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sjotrik on June 27, 2011, 07:21:12 pm

I finally discovered that you can mass-select enemies for killing. :/ No need to keep track on the battlefield as much now! :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jc6036 on June 27, 2011, 07:58:26 pm
Not realizing that water flows diagonally.                    Urist McMiner: this farm plots gonna be great!           5 minutes later. . . . . .        save the alchohol! Put  the floating barrels back in the stockpile! Go go go!               
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tagg on June 28, 2011, 10:10:16 am
Quote from: jc6036 on June 27, 2011, 07:58:26 pm
Not realizing that water flows diagonally.                    Urist McMiner: this farm plots gonna be great!           5 minutes later. . . . . .        save the alchohol! Put  the floating barrels back in the stockpile! Go go go!             
Getting water to flow diagonally is actualy very handy, as it eliminates water pressure.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: varnish on June 28, 2011, 02:55:23 pm
Not directly fortress related, but...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I think I might have made a small mistake.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TomIrony on June 28, 2011, 04:30:33 pm
Building an underground sewer system with a series of pressure plates and levers to provide water for the jail, hospital, meeting hall, etc. Everything is set, everything is sealed, there is only the last element remaining which is to channel the river into the tunnel.

Not a problem. Done this a thousand times.

Urist McBabysitter is my miner. Mining pick in the right hand, baby in the left, child tagging along to watch.

Urist channels and, as water starts flowing in, the child falls in. The tunnel floods and she jumps into the sealed tunnel after him.

Desperately, we mine into the tunnel so that she can outrun the flood with her children back to the safety of the fort, and then hopefully we can seal up the hole before the water reaches us. We break through and she runs out, then about a dozen dorfs rush into the tunnel to pick up non-forbidden stones.

To hell with them, seal up the tunnel!

Urist McHydrophobia cancels construct building: dangerous terrain

Crap.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on June 28, 2011, 04:35:43 pm
Quote from: varnish on June 28, 2011, 02:55:23 pm
Not directly fortress related, but...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I think I might have made a small mistake.

Looks like a case o' duplicated raw entries to me, that it does. :P

But seriously, go through the raws and check if there's any duplicated raw entries.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on June 28, 2011, 06:53:13 pm
If the game doesn't crash, and you have a playable race, that might be a very fun error. Entire races of Forgotten Beasts?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: varnish on June 28, 2011, 08:22:30 pm
Oddly enough, I have got fortress mode to run. All of my dwarfs are towering feathered bristleworms with wings. They have barrels made of turkey tallow and chests made out of human hair.

Also, the wagon appears to have been hauled by turkeys.

Yup, duplicate raws. The gift that keeps on giving (you insane amounts of insanity)!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on June 28, 2011, 08:32:07 pm
Wait... Do they bristleworms have hands? Mwa-ha-ha-ha...

(Blarg. I should really get some sleep. Starting to get kinda giddy.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: varnish on June 28, 2011, 08:47:10 pm
They ain't got no hands at-all. All they do is look at their tools forlornly, feeling ashamed.

I'm going to mess around with this, though. A fortress of forgotten beasts is something worth trying for.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Theifofdreams on June 29, 2011, 03:01:43 am
My very first fortress, when I tried to irrigate a small cavern for mining.
Urist Mcleverpuller decided that, no, on second thought, that water on the other side of the room was really scary, so pulling the lever to close the floodgate on -this- side of the room had far too real a possibility of getting him slightly damp.
15 minutes and plenty of fun later, I finish loading my new fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nagidal on June 29, 2011, 08:11:06 am
Embarking on a temperate site, seeing only snow at the beginning, no water. Already thinking how to dig down to the lower cavern levels for water, then I do *one* layer down below the surface and I see frozen ponds under the snow. Facepalm, and happiness that I will have easy access to water in a couple of months.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shonus on June 29, 2011, 09:53:40 am
Better that than *not* noticing the pool directly under your waggon.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Manic Typist on June 29, 2011, 06:25:17 pm
My militia commander passing out after killing an enemy goblin. Passing out while on top of my only weapon trap.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kattel on June 30, 2011, 12:51:38 am
my level puller pulling the bridge lever AFTER the savanna titan had crossed the perimeter bridge....**facepalm** wouldnt have been so bad except my military intercepted it on the bank of a pool....half drowned from dodging, the other half from the titan: which was eventually killed by a war capybara.

--sigh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TomiTapio on June 30, 2011, 02:05:05 am
Quote from: Kattel on June 30, 2011, 12:51:38 am
my level puller pulling the bridge lever AFTER the savanna titan had crossed the perimeter bridge....**facepalm** wouldnt have been so bad except my military intercepted it on the bank of a pool....half drowned from dodging, the other half from the titan: which was eventually killed by a war capybara.
Hah, that's the way. Some dig safety ramps on pools to reduce their awesome deadliness.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kattel on June 30, 2011, 02:09:44 am
Quote from: TomiTapio on June 30, 2011, 02:05:05 am
Hah, that's the way. Some dig safety ramps on pools to reduce their awesome deadliness.

yeah its usually not till after my first incident that remember to do this.....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: peglegpengeuin on June 30, 2011, 02:12:54 am
Realizing that I could use bridges instead of floodgates to control water partway through my giant tower-cap farm project.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pierre Monteux on June 30, 2011, 11:54:00 pm
Locking Urist McMoody in his room, only to discover a few months later "Urist McChild cancels sleep, interrupted by dwarf." shortly after Urist McMoody went breserk.  It turns out that I had accidently mined out a wall to the next bedroom.  I lost 3 dwarves before my military showed up. 

FUN.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Laughing Man on July 01, 2011, 01:25:52 pm
Finished digging the cistern and plumbing for my dining room wells (conveniently located 7 z-levels down).  Channeled the river to fill it, and suddenly realized that I forgot to depressurize the water.  Glub glub glub.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jc6036 on July 01, 2011, 07:03:28 pm
Just now realized what stone pots are for. Face to palm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Temp_ on July 01, 2011, 08:57:28 pm
Finished my puppy/kitty dispensing pit.  It wasn't deep enough.  I now have piles of cute animals crawling about on their bellies and retching everywhere.  I genuinely feel like a terrible person.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SirAaronIII on July 01, 2011, 10:08:25 pm
Firebreathing worm forgotten beast. I missed the part that said it had wings, and it flew over my walls and set everything on fire.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Laughing Man on July 02, 2011, 11:01:10 am
Quote from: SirAaronIII on July 01, 2011, 10:08:25 pm
Firebreathing worm forgotten beast. I missed the part that said it had wings, and it flew over my walls and set everything on fire.
Trogdoooooooor!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: K17U on July 02, 2011, 03:44:22 pm
Quote from: Pierre Monteux on June 30, 2011, 11:54:00 pm
Locking Urist McMoody in his room, only to discover a few months later "Urist McChild cancels sleep, interrupted by dwarf." shortly after Urist McMoody went breserk.  It turns out that I had accidently mined out a wall to the next bedroom.  I lost 3 dwarves before my military showed up. 

FUN.

After reading the first sentence, I halfway expected you had accidentally locked him in a room with a sleeping child.
Borderline nightmare fuel there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on July 03, 2011, 01:49:53 am
Note: Use / and * to navigate menu by pages at a time. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TapeNoot on July 03, 2011, 02:53:59 pm
Reading through this thread and discovering stone pots can be used to hold booze *thwap*

On the upside, my suicidal rushes for logs on my current fort can stop :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iapetus on July 03, 2011, 06:56:19 pm
Quote from: varnish on June 28, 2011, 08:22:30 pm
Oddly enough, I have got fortress mode to run. All of my dwarfs are towering feathered bristleworms with wings. They have barrels made of turkey tallow and chests made out of human hair.

Also, the wagon appears to have been hauled by turkeys.

Yup, duplicate raws. The gift that keeps on giving (you insane amounts of insanity)!

It's like HP Lovecraft took some particularly good (or bad) drugs...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Supernerd on July 03, 2011, 09:32:53 pm
This one time a Forgotten Beast made of Flames got to the stockpile where I keep my alcohol. I have over 10,000 drinks in storage. My game crashed! The face palm came when I found out that Forgotten Beasts made of fire were actually pretty easy to kill and I could have just sent my military after it instead of fumbling with my unreliable cave-in trap.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TomiTapio on July 04, 2011, 04:27:21 am
Quote from: Supernerd on July 03, 2011, 09:32:53 pm
This one time a Forgotten Beast made of Flames got to the stockpile where I keep my alcohol. I have over 10,000 drinks in storage. My game crashed! The face palm came when I found out that Forgotten Beasts made of fire were actually pretty easy to kill and I could have just sent my military after it instead of fumbling with my unreliable cave-in trap.
Booze is more precious than dwarves. Always save the booze first.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rurik on July 04, 2011, 12:18:15 pm
Quote from: TomiTapio on July 04, 2011, 04:27:21 am
Booze is more precious than dwarves. Always save the booze first.
I have had it in my mind to build a nasty trap in front - or below - of my fortress entrance: a large hall containing a forbidden stockpile of alcohol connected to a magma chute that is sealed by a floodgate. I guess you already picture what I mean.

Goblins/humans/silly elves arrive and BOOM goes the ground under their feet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jmancube on July 04, 2011, 07:08:04 pm
But... The booze... Why would you waste the booze? Although, I suppose it's worth it if it kills elves in the process.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rurik on July 05, 2011, 07:29:25 am
Booze can be made. Elves can be unmade with booze. It's the perfect cycle.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: crekit on July 05, 2011, 11:32:34 am
Booze doesn't explode.

It boils. The red gas is booze vapor.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on July 05, 2011, 06:18:03 pm
True, but the common term for boiling booze is exploding, it looks like it, and it's often just as lethal.   Hell I think it can even throw creatures around, though I wasn't as certain about that bit.  It just can't modify terrain.

I consider folks calling them booze explosions to be technically wrong, but it gets the mental image across.   It actually seems pretty darn close to one of those movie style firebombs really, assuming you are using normal boiling points.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deus Machina on July 06, 2011, 02:40:22 am
Hmmm. Does the 'explosion' go upward through grates?

Channel out a hall, lay grates, assign a lever or pressure plates to fill the booze stockpile below with magma. Dwarven landmines!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: erissian on July 06, 2011, 04:07:03 am
Quote from: crekit on July 05, 2011, 11:32:34 am
Booze doesn't explode.

It boils. The red gas is booze vapor.

I think I can live with calling a rapid expansion of gas an explosion.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Z1000000m on July 06, 2011, 03:52:59 pm
Finally learning to use some macros because of the huge megaproject in working on.
Being disappointed that it takes sooo long to designate those walls.
After 3 days of using slow macro, accidentally discovering that theres a macro speed controlling option in init.
Default=15=slowpoke speed, changed to 1= insanely fast macros.
Lost so much time.

Also realising that making a 1 wall macro and spamming it is way faster than manual typing .
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on July 06, 2011, 05:12:06 pm
You know you can designate several tile of wall with the [ukmh] keys, right?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shootandrun on July 06, 2011, 09:04:29 pm
My last fort had the greatest battle I have ever had in dwarf fortress.

I counted - 182 enemies, thanks to the fortress defense mode. Most of them in the late tiers. After two years of endless battles, sieges, ambushes, I had closed my fortress. Of the fifty steel-clad fully legendary dorfs, 26 remained. 24 others were just starting their training - of them were still novice in everything. After a sad error in lever linking, I opened my fortress and poured magma on that lever. Not my finest moment.

After an epic battle, I ordered the retreat. There was 156 dwarfs before the assault - after the battle, 78 remained. Nearly all of them made it to the bunker, only a dozen or so were killed while they were going. I made a review of my troops - no soldier was still alive. They had all died trying to make it to the gates to give a chance to my masons who needed some time to wall the fortress off. I passed to plan B. Digging to the gates, I sent my dorfs to loot the bodies of those who died there - friends and ennemies. I quickly retreated, equipped the survivors... And I attacked.

I was surprised the dorfs survived. I guess the other army had been really damaged by the battle of the gates. Anyway, 13 dorfs were still alive, I was about to restart production of food and booze and everything was happy and I realized half of the fortress was covered in magma. The original magma flow that the lever had unleashed - it was'nt stopped, because the drawbridge I built to block it was never linked to the lever!

/facepalm.

All the remaining dorfs died, if you wonder: all the useful piles (wood, stone...) were under the magma and I could'nt make walls.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Awesome0Person on July 06, 2011, 09:48:35 pm
I learned to never let dwarfs mine candy without supervision. It was my first fort that lasted for more than a year. It had a pretty cool name, Wheelstockades, plus it had a dwarf with a candy sword who killed plenty of the clowns. The combat reports were hilarious.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shmo on July 08, 2011, 01:40:16 am
After being taken aback by the fact that a flying forest titan brutalized all my legendary planters and my brewer before it was killed I realized that even though I judiciously roofed over my outdoor farming plots,
there was a 1x1 notch a flying enemy could get through from a channel I dug to a murky pool.

Of course the channel was only there to irrigate rebuilt flooring after excavating the outdoor access caused a cave-in and killed two dwarves, two farm plots and three stockpiles.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eoganachta on July 08, 2011, 01:42:44 am
Another text book case:
I just finished my danger room in my fort's second year and ordered everyone in. I had put 5 weapons per tile to maximise output. I put the lever on repeat and left. suddenly I had messages like "urist mccheesemaker has been impaled on spikes'. zoom to location and find half my military torn to pieces. So why would trainning spears kill dorfs? Because I had gotten my mencing wooden spikes I was using for my dodge-'em and my danger room confused. FACE -> PALM

Also so mirgrants have just arrived next to a herd of capybaras. Should be fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadenight123 on July 08, 2011, 05:50:03 am
fire imps crept out of nowhere and started going up the staircase. Intercept and killed by a soldier, who, with a really, really Cool appeal decided to go for a drink.
The explosion destroyed everything.
every single booze in the stockpile and left ashes everywhere.
You know what's even more funny?
the soldier survived the fire, the explosion, and saved himself by ending up in the pool.
he then went back to grab a snack.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kellen on July 08, 2011, 05:05:44 pm
Replaced all the flooring and walling in my fortress with marble blocks, as well as made an awesome magma-delivery system to every other level of my fortress, so the levels above the magma would be able to have magma forges/kilns/furnaces/whathaveyou....these were also marble. I was so proud of my gleaming almost-ivory Fortress up untill I flipped the lever that released the magma, and I found out that marble isn't magma safe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrShovelFace on July 08, 2011, 08:32:34 pm
once when i was absolutely new to this game i decided it would be a good idea to convert the first layer of soil into a massive store room, but i forgot about the channeling i did on the edge of the map (to keep migrants out) and ended up caving in the entire map
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Donagh on July 08, 2011, 09:48:14 pm
I had a surpluses of caged gobbos in the days before I knew the importance of disarming prisoners. Dropped one of them into an elaborate goblin arena with four of my recruits for some handy goblin slather training. Not only did he kill them all.. he escaped from my fortress with his life the little fucker!
=> facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tirunus on July 08, 2011, 10:07:37 pm
I breached the mighty HFS in the search of of the famed adamantine, my fortress being near the surface I had much time and many peasants to slow down the tide of demons errr elephants going through a "phase". At the mouth of my tunnel system I built many a copper grate to block out the tide of black t-shirt clothed,studded bracelet wearing elephants And hopefully silencing the sounds of thousands of elephants saying "thats so metal"

But with their gain of crappy death metal music they burned straight through the copper grates and  gain entrance into the mighty citadel slaying all the half insane dwarves inside.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadenight123 on July 09, 2011, 02:20:36 am
using legends viewers.
it turns out i have an historical Butterfly Monarch creature.
but i have no clue how to pinpoint it.
i do note that there was however a certain "BUTTERFLASH!" who died after a season of hunger in winter.
sad thing
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Khris on July 09, 2011, 06:19:01 am
Give order to pull a lever.
Noone comes.
I'm waiting.
Fucking dwarves.
What the hell?
...
Oh, I had the game on pause.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Karnewarrior on July 09, 2011, 09:23:21 am
Quote from: Tirunus on July 08, 2011, 10:07:37 pm
I breached the mighty HFS in the search of of the famed adamantine, my fortress being near the surface I had much time and many peasants to slow down the tide of demons errr elephants going through a "phase". At the mouth of my tunnel system I built many a copper grate to block out the tide of black t-shirt clothed,studded bracelet wearing elephants And hopefully silencing the sounds of thousands of elephants saying "thats so metal"

But with their gain of crappy death metal music they burned straight through the copper grates and  gain entrance into the mighty citadel slaying all the half insane dwarves inside.
Probably the best analogy for HFS ever.

Death Metal Elephants.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrShovelFace on July 09, 2011, 03:11:16 pm
my military dorfs died of thirst while attempting to punch a yeti to death
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kohrmeh on July 09, 2011, 04:22:45 pm
Finding out I dont need to wait for migrants to come with the skills I need. I just needed to use the little labor with healthcare and farmming and all that what not so that they can brew stuff if my Brewer was killed by a GOD DAMN TROGLODYTE BECAUSE THE SQUAD WASNT FOLLOWING ORDERS. Thus makeing a booze less fortress that was in winter causeing everyone to kill each other.Oh how Fun it was.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Khris on July 10, 2011, 07:34:49 am
I dug a seperate tunnel down to the caverns to lure out a forgotten beast in front of my fortress and the traps.
It didn't seem interested and just crawled around, so I killed it. After I disabled the civilian alert, my dwarves started swarming into the caverns and started collecting the remains and body parts of about 20 trolls and goblins I threw down there......  :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Twiggie on July 10, 2011, 11:06:58 am
taking 20 rabbits to feed my fortress, without realising that all they give is a single skull.

modding time!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: callahan.44 on July 10, 2011, 03:05:19 pm
Quote from: Kohrmeh on July 09, 2011, 04:22:45 pm
Finding out I dont need to wait for migrants to come with the skills I need.

When you have 50+ dwarfs you'll know why everyone uses DwarfTherapist. 1 mouse click and you can make them all Brewers!
I'm so glad I don't use the ingame clusterf*ck skills assignment anymore.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on July 11, 2011, 01:32:16 am
Quote from: callahan.44 on July 10, 2011, 03:05:19 pm
Quote from: Kohrmeh on July 09, 2011, 04:22:45 pm
Finding out I dont need to wait for migrants to come with the skills I need.

When you have 50+ dwarfs you'll know why everyone uses DwarfTherapist. 1 mouse click and you can make them all Brewers!
I'm so glad I don't use the ingame clusterf*ck skills assignment anymore.

Custom professions in DT are the best. Miners, Soldiers, Nurses and Workers. I'm considering making a "Legend" class, but meh. So you made a cool earring? Back to work!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The Master on July 11, 2011, 11:00:35 pm
The Jolly Battle- during the year who-the-hell-cares in the month of go-the-F***-back-to-work-ya-piss-drunk-dorvzzzzZZZZZZZZZ, during mid Diggy Diggy Hole:

My dwarves....oh, my retarded...STUPID...DWARVES. I generated a level through the advanced level maker*.
I set the temperature minimum to -1000 and the max to 1000! Now, I'm thinking..."My dwarves can handle this!" so I embark...on a scorching area...hot enough to melt, MELTED metal!
anyway, So I'm just watching my dwarves dig...then a dog begins to do a most...peculiar thing. he starts SLIPPING AND SLIDING AROUND! BUT I'M NOT DONE! THEN HE BEGINS TO LEAVE BLOOD EVERYWHERE! THEN HE MELTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AS IF ON FU**ING CUE, THE OTHER DWARVES BEGINS DO THE SAME DAM* THING!!! I'M NOW SITTING, SLACKJAW, WONDERING HOW IN THE NAME OF ARMOK COULD IT POSSIBLY GET ANY WORSE! LO AND BEHOLD, TWO FORGOTTEN BEAST SPEARMEN SHOW UP AND THROW MY LAST SURVIVING DWARF, THAT WAS APPARENTLY DIGGING A DEEP HOLE THAT I DON'T RECALL ORDERING HIM TO DIG IN THE FIRST PLACE, OFF A FU**ING CLIFF! BAM! FUN FUN FUN!

*Ahem*...it was a sad day.









*(more like adv-*pukes*...anced......leve-*blaaaarrrrrgggg.....* maker....*blarg.*)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cpt.tazer on July 12, 2011, 12:15:44 pm
in adventure mode i was sent to kill a legendary dragon, after about 30 other minor quests, i was walking along then i was attacked by bandits, i killed about 3 of them when suddenly magma filled the valley i was fighting in and i died, spent a good 2 hours trying to find the area in dwarf mode before i finally gave up, a flowing volcano would be awesome
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ultimuh on July 12, 2011, 12:18:02 pm
Quote from: The Master on July 11, 2011, 11:00:35 pm
The Jolly Battle- during the year who-the-hell-cares in the month of go-the-F***-back-to-work-ya-piss-drunk-dorvzzzzZZZZZZZZZ, during mid Diggy Diggy Hole:

My dwarves....oh, my retarded...STUPID...DWARVES. I generated a level through the advanced level maker*.
I set the temperature minimum to -1000 and the max to 1000! Now, I'm thinking..."My dwarves can handle this!" so I embark...on a scorching area...hot enough to melt, MELTED metal!
anyway, So I'm just watching my dwarves dig...then a dog begins to do a most...peculiar thing. he starts SLIPPING AND SLIDING AROUND! BUT I'M NOT DONE! THEN HE BEGINS TO LEAVE BLOOD EVERYWHERE! THEN HE MELTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AS IF ON FU**ING CUE, THE OTHER DWARVES BEGINS DO THE SAME DAM* THING!!! I'M NOW SITTING, SLACKJAW, WONDERING HOW IN THE NAME OF ARMOK COULD IT POSSIBLY GET ANY WORSE! LO AND BEHOLD, TWO FORGOTTEN BEAST SPEARMEN SHOW UP AND THROW MY LAST SURVIVING DWARF, THAT WAS APPARENTLY DIGGING A DEEP HOLE THAT I DON'T RECALL ORDERING HIM TO DIG IN THE FIRST PLACE, OFF A FU**ING CLIFF! BAM! FUN FUN FUN!

*Ahem*...it was a sad day.









*(more like adv-*pukes*...anced......leve-*blaaaarrrrrgggg.....* maker....*blarg.*)

You COULD mod dwarves to handle the heat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The Master on July 12, 2011, 03:22:43 pm
shhhh....they're sleeping...OH SHIT NOT AGAIN! NO! DON'T GO UP THERE! THERES NO NEED TO GET YOUR FRIEND'S STU-shit.
 ??? REALLY!? REALLY!? IT TOOK THE OVER DWARVES LIKE THREE GOOD MINUTES TO START SLIP'N'SLIDING! YOU, ON THE OTHER HAND, WALK OUT THERE FOR 5 SECONDS, LOOK AT THE SUN, SMILE, THEN MELT INTO A PILE OF FUCKING FROSTY THE GODDAMN SNOWMAN!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on July 13, 2011, 01:30:25 pm
After the first attempt at obsidianising magma around a small candy tube (which succeeded but flooded the level above with water), I sent my best miner down to carefully chip out the candy without disturbing either magma or water. He was doing pretty well. So then I sent him to dig a staircase down to attack the next level.

He found a hidden pocket of magma.

"Erith Lolokthinstad, Miner, has bled to death" :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AiresPenlaw on July 13, 2011, 01:36:52 pm
"Why are all my dwarves starving to death! The food stockpiles are full! See, dimple cups, cave wheat, and quarry bushes! Plenty to eat!"

To think I'd played this game for so long without considering that there are some things Dwarves will plant, that they won't eat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on July 13, 2011, 03:31:52 pm
Blargh. The only one of those three that I ever keep seeds around for is cave wheat, but only because it's brewable.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: utunnels on July 13, 2011, 10:37:11 pm
A starving dwarf eats every thing. Proved to be wrong!
 :-X
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Synthet on July 14, 2011, 09:22:14 am
That one time when I was starting out and my only brewer never made any alcohol and was resting almost all day which was causing all sorts of havoc.
I finally figure out how to find and check the lazy bugger only to discover hes been permanently disabled and I've been repeatedly ordering him to get out of his death bed, poor guy. Then everyone died from thirst, I even built a well over a river that froze over after the freaking construction!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kc_spot on July 14, 2011, 12:25:17 pm
so animals are in-fighting now? great.

JSYK I save scumed this so right now i'm in a universe where this didn't happen.... more or less


So I was ignoring the animal fighting, thoo i notice that 2 dwarves were idling near the wagon as well (i had yet to make a meeting area)

the wagon was parked near a small pond (7 deep o course)

so i mind my own business. out of nowhere i get messages the 2 dwarves died? turns out the animals attacked them. GUESS WHERE THEY DODGED TO. no go on guess.

and so 2 of my starting 7 died of drowning and we almost had a tantrum spiral.

just thought i'd share that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Organon on July 14, 2011, 05:38:50 pm
Preparing to explore the caverns, I built a trap corridor linking my staircase to the caverns, with raisable bridges on both sides. I then give the order to remove the remaining wall on the cavern side. Almost immediately, a forgotten beast comes FLYING over the weapon traps. It goes after the miner, who also happens to be a competent axedwarf fortunately. However, he is carrying a pick at the time, having just completed a mining job. He does a good job fighting the beast, first damaging the wings and shell, then dodging several attacks. The military is rushing to assist him. However, he fails to doge one time, and the beast bites through his leg. Then the rest of the military arrives, easily dispatching the beast. However, the miner-axedwarf quickly bleeds to death.

Reasonably satisfied with that outcome, I order the military to enter the caverns. Once they are in, orders are issued to raise the bridges. While some dwarf is on his way to do that, one of the military dwarves decides that he's sleepy and rather wouldn't help exploring the caverns. It so happens that the trigger puller completes his job while Urist McSleepyhead is still in the trap corridor. He falls asleep on the floor. comfortably resting on a weapon trap. -- Several minutes later, I decide I have explored enough and order the military back. As a command is issued to lower the bridges, a crushing sound is heard (as well as the 'Wihelm yell'* -- I'm running Soundsense :) ) as Urist McSleepyhead is caught between... well, a bridge and a weapon trap... and disintegrates...  :o

Edit: * It's called the Wilhelm scream, actually; 'yell' seems funnier though :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 15, 2011, 03:00:06 am
Just had a dwarf pull the magma flood lever without checking if anyone was in the channels.  Melted three dwarves, a baby and a bunny rabbit. Whoops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: notquitethere on July 15, 2011, 03:19:31 pm
I tried to flood some goblins trapped in cages in a chamber beneath my moat. They survived in their water-proof birch cages of course. The real face-palm came in the fact that there was an open hatch in the chamber, which led to several levels of staircases, leading down to a corridor that jutted out several floors above a vast underground cave. Unfortunately, there was a miner at the end of the corridor mining opals, and he was surprised by a sudden onslaught of water from the stairs above, and was swept three floors down into the cave, breaking both legs.

It was OK though, he was ecstatic after seeing a beautiful waterfall!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadenight123 on July 15, 2011, 03:20:16 pm
now i'll go grab a glass of water. i'll leave df running. let's bet how many facepalm situations will happen? >.>

edit: Couldn't even LEAVE the CHAIR XD two thiefs and an ambush straight away. i'm going to die from thirst. XD

edit n2: experiment starts now!

edit n3: experiment terminated: it seems the remaining ambush ended through the traps, dieing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mordoc on July 15, 2011, 04:33:30 pm
"press shift while moving"


FFFFFFFFFF... WHAT!?

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on July 16, 2011, 06:11:53 am
This will be long. Lets start at my very beginning.


1. I didn't read the wiki, so my first dozen forts were lots of FUN, that is where I learned most of the basics, by myself, my logic and a whole lot of FUN.

2. "Hey look, a tree! [Cut]. Another tree! [ Cut ], another...tree [...cut...]" and that went on and on for my lumber.


Until I learned that when you press d>t then click, it starts as the HIGHLIGHTER for what you want to work with. There I was clicking every SINGLE tree in a forested biome!

3. "A murky Pool, filled with water! Lets farm!" *Thunk* "AHHH WATER!!!"

And I thought getting touched by water would flood every tile it hits [didn't learn the 1/7 rule yet] so then I deconstructed every workshop/thing in the way of the water and then moved to higher ground.
It dried back and I tried to wall it back in, then the rains came...This went on until I abandoned my fort to the horrid view of blue ~'s

4. *Post siege/abandoned fort* "What in Armok's bloody hand, the invaders are friendly? Ahh that is good, very good."

*Orders everyone to move to the entrance, currently filled with goblins and some trolls.

"Hello friends, we would like to occupy our-...is that dwarf bone crafts you're wearing?"

"FOOD!!!"

And then they all proceeded to greet us with a warm welcoming hand.

Addition:
I discovered reading what is on screen helps a lot. I finally discovered the "d" key in trading. That beat finding my carefully crafted lavish meals through ~40 pages or so of stone and other stuff. And I only learned that after a wrong key press, "What just happened?! *looks at keys* Oh..."
~~~

Then to my Advanced stage, I did not yet discover the wiki and have basic ideas on what to do. [Or rather, I did but I didn't read any of it yet. No spoily fun at all]

"Invaders are approaching, get the military out! Then lower the drawbridge, that'll give us time to rush 'em"

Quote
Inside
d.d.d.d.                    where d-Dwarf
ddd.d...                             b-raised drawbridge 7x7 squared thick made of fine bauxite
bbbbbbb                            It continues like this for the next 3 or so squares
Outside

"Here they come, PULL the lever!"

Sweaty hands grasped the leather handle, pulling with all their might on the lever. The sound of gears were heard moving. Five, Six, Seven... The bridge would lower soon. Looking at the militia, most of them had a mix of apathy and fear although they were seasoned veterans out of years of training and fighting.

Then Courage and determination flashed across their faces like a wave of emotion seen through the mastercrafted steel helmets. The first rays of light were peeking from the opening in the ceiling, the bridge was coming down. All the heroes and recruits were ready and gathered to face a full goblin army led by a Legendary general, one whose name struck fear in those fighting against them.


The cranking of the gears stopped, the hinges loosened, the drawbridge fell freely to the ground to light the area with pure sunlight and a welcoming view of the outside world.

...

And the good part, the drawbridge was colored red.

You could fathom a guess on where it fell

That killed one of my best forts...

Blood for the Blood God!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxy15 on July 16, 2011, 08:07:56 am
In one of my earlier forts, this marksdorf died and became murderous.
He was a named ghost because he killed so many.
I made tons of coffins trying to put him to rest.
Then I remembered slabs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Manic Typist on July 16, 2011, 09:53:12 am
Mixing up what order gears are placed in when linking levers and bridges.

Instead of putting a legendary gear in the middle of my dining hall, I put it on the bridge that dumps things into lava, where no one will see it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lezard on July 16, 2011, 04:19:58 pm
Quote from: Manic Typist on July 16, 2011, 09:53:12 am
Mixing up what order gears are placed in when linking levers and bridges.

Instead of putting a legendary gear in the middle of my dining hall, I put it on the bridge that dumps things into lava, where no one will see it.

well, no one who'll have any time to appreciate it.....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The Master on July 17, 2011, 12:36:29 am
Quote from: Lezard on July 16, 2011, 04:19:58 pm
Quote from: Manic Typist on July 16, 2011, 09:53:12 am
Mixing up what order gears are placed in when linking levers and bridges.

Instead of putting a legendary gear in the middle of my dining hall, I put it on the bridge that dumps things into lava, where no one will see it.

well, no one who'll have any time to appreciate it.....
EXCEPT IN THE AFTERLIFE! DUN DUN DUUUUUN!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on July 17, 2011, 01:21:17 am
Quote from: Lezard on July 16, 2011, 04:19:58 pm
Quote from: Manic Typist on July 16, 2011, 09:53:12 am
Mixing up what order gears are placed in when linking levers and bridges.

Instead of putting a legendary gear in the middle of my dining hall, I put it on the bridge that dumps things into lava, where no one will see it.

well, no one who'll have any time to appreciate it.....

Oh my, what a lovely geAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGH *splash*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on July 17, 2011, 02:11:20 am
Quote from: ThatAussieGuy on July 17, 2011, 01:21:17 am
Quote from: Lezard on July 16, 2011, 04:19:58 pm
Quote from: Manic Typist on July 16, 2011, 09:53:12 am
Mixing up what order gears are placed in when linking levers and bridges.

Instead of putting a legendary gear in the middle of my dining hall, I put it on the bridge that dumps things into lava, where no one will see it.

well, no one who'll have any time to appreciate it.....

Oh my, what a lovely geAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGH *splash*

Quoted for the sigtext thread.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on July 17, 2011, 09:23:19 am
Went 5 years fortress time with no soap.  I have a custom reaction to make soap as well as the vanilla to get around the dodgeyness of lye.  But it kept showing up red.

After 5 years of intermittently checking the workshop to see if I can make it I figure maybe something with my soap reaction got messed up somehow.  I examine my raws, and find no issues, I can't figure it out.

Then I decide to make some soap the vanilla way, just so that my wounded would not get infected so often.  I make some lye successfully and make sure it isn't watered down and go to the soaper's workshop.  Still no useable soap reaction.

And that's when I finally realize, I never bothered to make a kitchen, so I have no tallow.  That's why I can't make soap, Tallow was the missing ingredient in both reactions.  I'm so used to fat being magically made into tallow with no input from me that I forgot that theres a requirement for it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kay12 on July 17, 2011, 09:43:27 am
Goblin snatcher and elven merchants arrive simultaneously. Elves spend a few months trying to get inside my fortress but constantly get scared at the sight of the (for some reason) stationary snatcher. Pussies.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Elisebambi on July 17, 2011, 10:55:38 am
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=89084.0
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist_McArathos on July 18, 2011, 09:10:17 pm
I dammed a river, and was rerouting it into my fortress to function as a waterfall.  I dug a drainage tunnel that went to the map edge, had pressure breaks both where the waterfall started AND flowed into my wells, grates on every access level, the works; I finally had the water all welled up and ready for release, PULL THE LEVER I SAY!

....

...

...

Oh, shit.  I forgot to re-link the floodgate to that lever when I had to move it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Entih on July 19, 2011, 02:18:59 am
Facepalm part 1:  I spent a few minutes modding the Human civ to allow fortress mode.  An hour or two later of sissy surface dweller building I realize there are no nobles or positions in the nobles screen.  I forgot to put them in.

Facepalm part 2:  I put the nobles in, why aren't they showing?  Wait... I don't have to build the world with them already in the civ file, do I?  Of course, building another world with that civ file worked.  A few hours of work down the drain, but at least I am building proper now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fahgo on July 20, 2011, 12:27:35 pm
Read through the Tundra/Glacier thread and, inspired, preceded to create a new world. Looking around the glacier I discovered a volcano. Like any good dorf decided that was the best place to embark. set up my starting seven as per this post: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=88543.msg2454597#msg2454597 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=88543.msg2454597#msg2454597)

I paid special attention to the note to bring lots of fuel/bitumous coal. I brought 20 units of the stuff.

It was only after I built my first magma smelter I realised "I really didn't need to bring that bitumous coal did I...". Flux stone would have been better as I have plenty of Hematite. *sigh*  :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: charred_gp on July 20, 2011, 02:24:39 pm
In a recently-started fort of mine, I had breached the caverns early to get a tree farm and underground pasture available as quickly as possible. Since there weren't any beasts I could see down there, I let my woodworker/tree cutter cut down some nearby trees. Then, right after the second migrant wave, a giant iguana FB showed up in the caverns. "No problem," I thought. "He can't fly, so the up/down stairs won't be open to him." I forgot that there was one up stair for my woodcutter. Fun ensued.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Agent_Irons on July 20, 2011, 02:28:12 pm
When I ordered my two-member military to attack prisoners on the top of a wall with steep drops on both sides. My military is pancaked. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: franti on July 20, 2011, 08:06:55 pm
All you noobs have pretty good screwups, but I recently usurped George Costanza for the title "lord of the idiots." Observe:
I spent two years building a 40 z-level deep pit trap with two bridges over them and a pillar in between that supported a pressure plate that did...fun stuff. The pit had a magma cleanup system, and then a draining system for the magma so it would return to its grated-cistern that led to a volcano and leave the goblinite behind. It was a masterful piece of dorfen engineering.
On the LAST z-level, after the bottom bridge that covered the magma, I accidentally dug through a support pillar when I hit d-h and didn't take the time to un-designate the pillars. The magma-covers collapsed, killing 3 Legendary Miners, and the bridge above collapsed. The debris killed an Adept Mechanic as he was climbing back up a staircase from the bottom, and the colapse itself killed a Grand Master Woodcutter who was getting wood, and a Legendary Gem Setter who had just finished making an artifact and carrying it back across the bridge: InkyShield, a Black Diamond Window.
The magma pit was connected to an underground volcano, so everything sunk to the semi-molten rock.

Bow and pay tribute to your king! For I am franti, Dwarf Lord of the idiots!

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jc6036 on July 20, 2011, 09:25:47 pm
That last part makes up for your n00b comment. I have not had any face palms recently. . . .
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist_McArathos on July 21, 2011, 12:03:39 am
Quote from: franti on July 20, 2011, 08:06:55 pm
All you noobs have pretty good screwups, but I recently usurped George Costanza for the title "lord of the idiots." Observe:
I spent two years building a 40 z-level deep pit trap with two bridges over them and a pillar in between that supported a pressure plate that did...fun stuff. The pit had a magma cleanup system, and then a draining system for the magma so it would return to its grated-cistern that led to a volcano and leave the goblinite behind. It was a masterful piece of dorfen engineering.
On the LAST z-level, after the bottom bridge that covered the magma, I accidentally dug through a support pillar when I hit d-h and didn't take the time to un-designate the pillars. The magma-covers collapsed, killing 3 Legendary Miners, and the bridge above collapsed. The debris killed an Adept Mechanic as he was climbing back up a staircase from the bottom, and the colapse itself killed a Grand Master Woodcutter who was getting wood, and a Legendary Gem Setter who had just finished making an artifact and carrying it back across the bridge: InkyShield, a Black Diamond Window.
The magma pit was connected to an underground volcano, so everything sunk to the semi-molten rock.

Bow and pay tribute to your king! For I am franti, Dwarf Lord of the idiots!

The King is a fool!  Long live the King!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrAnderson on July 21, 2011, 06:34:59 am
i built a 8 double-store tall house with well-system over 7 years, only to discover the wells froze shortly in winter...

next winter i turned temperature off, as i wanted to build a big city without troubles
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on July 21, 2011, 10:29:15 am
My new fortress was up and going, the log palisade around my hole in the ground coming along nicely.

However, I was busy trying to get through the aquifer, so I set up the whole dirt-drop system... and only belatedly realised that aquifers can span more than one layer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: franti on July 21, 2011, 11:11:03 am
Quote from: greatorder on July 21, 2011, 10:51:46 am
Quote from: franti on July 20, 2011, 08:06:55 pm
Bow and pay tribute to your king! For I am franti, Dwarf Lord of the idiots!
reminded me of the thing in AOE 2:
'all hail! king of the losers!'
I know exactly what you mean.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kay12 on July 21, 2011, 03:22:25 pm
Already referenced to this in the Note to Urist thread BUT ...

The Fort was expecting its first caravan. Farms were up and running, and some crops had been harvested. A still was supposed to churn out drinks.

"So, how's it going?"

NO BOOZE? WHAT?

By boozemaker was on a break. I had ordered a few spare ones, but they were all busy doing other things. Finally, the brewer decides to get back to work. He brews a single drink, drinks it himself and returns to the meeting hall for another break.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lazygun on July 21, 2011, 05:00:42 pm
In my current fort I have a system for obisidianising a portion of the magma sea, in order to safely mine out the candy that's poking up through the magma.

I had floors full of down-stairs to let the water through to the lower levels. I thought, this looks untidy and started to channel it out.

Then I noticed the lowest level had aquired a rather bright red colour. Yup, I've channeled away the walls holding back the magma.

OK, it isn't the end of the world: I can re-obsidianize and re-excavate, but such a waste of time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on July 21, 2011, 05:51:26 pm
Was modding in using Oil for fuel (stupid no coal biomes.  ::)) and forgot to make the container part of the reaction.  :-[

Happily, I can now use various plants (including corn!) to make oil for fuel. ^_^
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on July 21, 2011, 06:03:15 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on July 21, 2011, 05:51:26 pm
Was modding in using Oil for fuel (stupid no coal biomes.  ::)) and forgot to make the container part of the reaction.  :-[

Happily, I can now use various plants (including corn!) to make oil for fuel. ^_^

You just made Ethanol!! I don't think that is a face palm but a strike of ingenuity as you discovered something by mistakenly doing something else.

Only without shouting "Eureka" and running off in excitement  :)



~~~
*Wonders how to make glass*

Urist Mc Noble: "I want clear glass!!"

Overseer: "All we have is green glass!"

It was then did I discover how to make clear glass...After a few dozen jailed attempts though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on July 21, 2011, 06:16:18 pm
Quote from: Tiruin on July 21, 2011, 06:03:15 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on July 21, 2011, 05:51:26 pm
Was modding in using Oil for fuel (stupid no coal biomes.  ::)) and forgot to make the container part of the reaction.  :-[

Happily, I can now use various plants (including corn!) to make oil for fuel. ^_^

You just made Ethanol!! I don't think that is a face palm but a strike of ingenuity as you discovered something by mistakenly doing something else.

Only without shouting "Eureka" and running off in excitement  :)



~~~
*Wonders how to make glass*

Urist Mc Noble: "I want clear glass!!"

Overseer: "All we have is green glass!"

It was then did I discover how to make clear glass...After a few dozen jailed attempts though.

Nah, the facepalm was messing up the reaction. Oil fuel was my intention here. I just had to go back and fix it to get my ethanol fix on. I also modded in a bunch of plants, including some that can be made into oil (including corn, peanuts and olives,) that can either be used as food or turned into fuel bars (coke).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bennerman on July 22, 2011, 08:45:33 am
(http://i.imgur.com/qWPMe.jpg)

this x.x
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bennerman on July 22, 2011, 02:30:17 pm
The grossest moment I have ever had is right now as I am watching a guy drag a dead forgotten beast towards the butcher shop... it's a moth creature :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lezard on July 22, 2011, 03:10:31 pm
Quote from: bennerman on July 22, 2011, 02:30:17 pm
The grossest moment I have ever had is right now as I am watching a guy drag a dead forgotten beast towards the butcher shop... it's a moth creature :P

They arn't that bad , ate one accidentally last week. I was eating some sunflower seeds , picked one up I dropped (because I'm cheap)..put it in my mouth (because I've got terrible eye sight) ...found a wing in my mouth...it didn't taste that different than the sunflower seeds...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on July 22, 2011, 04:39:40 pm
I will attest from experience that cockroaches taste quite similar to almonds.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bennerman on July 22, 2011, 05:13:38 pm
I don't know how to view a combat log in fortress mode, but I am sure I have seen people do it before. any ideas how?

EDIT: [r]eports, got it :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 2trips on July 22, 2011, 09:36:04 pm
I've started a handful of forts now and had high hopes for my latest. They all thought I was daft to build a castle in the swamp, but I did it anyway! Just to show 'em! (And for the wood.)
The only entrance I could make was in a pathetic mud hill, very undwarflike. I made a cramped base under this pathetic mud hill and I only had 2 z-levels to the aquifer and no rock. I used reveal to find the one tiny hole through the aquifer (I made sure to get 3 biomes to maximise my chances and ended up with one tiny hole and no rock at all until I reach it), and I plan to move everything under the aquifer and keep a fake trade base at the pathetic mud hill. As I'm doing that, I decide to rig the whole top portion to drop in case of attack or elves. (I messed up my first trade with the elves by (o)ffering them everything. Whoops. Thank god for (s)ieze; I took everything they had. It worked so good I did it the second time they came and I think from now on I'm just robbing elves.)
Anyway I set up my first ever supports and lever, I think I've got it right, and I start moving everything downstairs and I'm trying to work out how to make a reactor with the aquifer, screw pumps and waterwheels when my best weaponsmith goes berserk(failed mood) and kills 2 dwarfs before being put down by my first ever functional military. I think some doors got dislodged in the fight.
I get so mad (not specifically about the doors) that I decide to drop the ceiling on their heads and perfect timing because the elves are here again! I wait till they set up in the trade depot right above my dining room where everyone is gathered for one final drink. Pull the lever, the supports fall but the ceiling does not. Pause, check the wiki, turns out the whole ceiling has to be totally disconnected. I had just erased the walls of my lower level so it was one big hall held up by 4 supports.
Okay guys, if you're not going to die that way then I'll destroy the stairs up, trapping you on this level, and dig out the aquifer to flood the level! Not so fast, all those exploratory stairs I dug into the aquifer below are draining extremely effectively. I remember something from the wiki about the aquifer absorbing water.
I wasn't paying attention to my immigrants and now my population is 84, the highest I've ever seen. After robbing the elves blind, we have enough food and booze to last us a very long time. Screw you Booktrampled.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on July 22, 2011, 11:50:13 pm
Okay, this one is going to be done in character.

Overseer: The fort, she does well. We begun mining the bedrooms and dining hall is being smoothed as we speak. So far, no problems since that those snatchers killed a child and kidnapped the other. Well, almost we missed trading with the elves due to a goblin ambush shortly after that and those goblins are still there...
Dwarf: Sir, we have a problem.
Overseer: What is it this time?
Dwarf: Urist McMetalsmith has been taken by a mood.
Overseer: Great. Tell me when he's finished.
Dwarf: Urist McMETALSMITH.
Overseer: *Looks through papers* Oh... we have no smith's workshop or metal bars... so we need a smelter to smelt a least one bar of silver... and... oh... we are out of wood aren't we...
Dwarf: Yessir, the mason is on standby with the wall treatment.
Overseer: Noo... he's fine, we can get this done.
Dwarf: But the wood sir...
Overseer: Look there's a single tree just in front of the main gate. If we can get the wood cutter to cut it down, we'll be good. And the goblin are over on the edge of the land so they won't see him do it.
Dwarf: But isn't this too risky.
Overseer: Nah, we'll be fine. Hand me two copies of form q-P, please.

*Lever is pulled and gate opens.*
Overseer: Okay, I need to watch carefully and sign the form as soon as the log is brought in... wait... what... why is everyone going outside... why! The burrow restriction is still in effect come back! Where are you all going?
Dwarf: To get the elven caravan's stuff.
Overseer: But... the goblins are over there... why are they disregarding the burrow restriction?
Dwarf: Umm... burrow... what burrow?
Overseer: What do you mean what burrow? The Emergency Hidey-Hole burrow I made for our protection!
Dwarf: Oh... but you had that burrow removed... see this form here... you sighed it...
Overseer: *Looks at form... horrified.* No... this is form Double-U-d, I asked for form double d... I didn't want a burrow delete form, I wanted a mining designation form.
Dwarf: Oh... opps.

The goblins entered the fort and killed all those they could reach and mercifully left. There are now 12 out of the 40 we had. I'm am still alive, but I can barely continue living for all the sadness... except... well... At least those engravers finished smooth out this dining hall before they died. It looks gorgeous.

Dwarf: Sir, our mountain homes sent us a caravan.
Overseer: Good. You are now the broker. Go meet them and see to it that you bring some trade goods up.
Broker: Yessir.

*Crash* Suddenly an ambush appears in the middle of the trading hall. The goblins are chased off by the caravan guards, who then leave in a huff. Only 6 of our proud dwarves remain. My friend the broker is dead. So now I wander the empty halls in quiet space. I notice I'm being followed.

Dodok McNewBookkeeper: Expedition Leader, I want to talk to you.
Overseer: Okay, let's go to the dining room then...

Overseer: What seems to be the problem?
Dodok: I... I seen death recently. My son was kidnapped. My daughter's corpse rots outside. My wife's corpse rots gem stockpile. And my baby haunted me this morning.
Overseer: Well... I suppose you should be happy.
Dodok: Ha... ha.. happy?!
Overseer: Look around you. We have enough food to last us 6 years. You have been appointed a noble recently. You have been given a nice office and a better bed room. And sir, look at this legendary dining room in which you sit. And to top it all off, your entire family is dead, so you don't need to worry about anyone else dying. You should be happy.
Dodok: Y... You think... I should.. be... HAPPY! You dare say that to me! You... you... ... argh.... *throws the table across the room* ARGH! *Kicks the chair across the room.* RAWR! ... THAT FELT GOOD!!
Overseer: Feel better.
Dodok: Yes, much. You're right I have ate in a legendary dining room recently. I have slept in a room like a personal palace lately. I have admired a lovely door lately. And throwing that table was icing on the cake. Thanks for the talk.
Overseer: Anytime.

But... alas... we are only six. Our fort has fallen and corpses lay everywhere... so... we do the only thing we can. We start digging graves. As long as dwarves live and breath in these halls, our fort shall not fall. Papertrailed will continue to live another day.

TL/DR:
One child kidnapped by snacher. Later, one child killed by snatcher.
Moody dwarf needed metal, attempt to get metal let the dwarves out.
I accidentally deleted the burrow by forgetting to press ESC key twice and then pressing d for designate.
Dwarves went on suicide parade to get elven caravan's stuff causing the goblins to notice the open gate.
Dwarven caravan shows up and bring 3 goblin ambushes with it that don't appear until my broker sees them in the middle of the room where the trade depot is set up. The caravan guards kill the goblins, but the goblins killed a mule or something so the caravan left. On of the ambushes got too far in though and slaughtered everyone but the final six.
One dwarf, had lost a relative in every previously mentioned event. He wanted some consoling from the expedition leader... and didn't get what he expected. He tantrummed in the dining hall, threw some stuff, and then noticed how much awesome stuff happened to him recently.

It was really a series of rapid facepalms for me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on July 23, 2011, 12:02:45 am
Key bindings. Set it to D at the very least.

Fun series of events even without that though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on July 23, 2011, 12:31:52 am
I set up a fort with 30 dorfs set up to resemble myself, my family, and my friends.

Winter, year 1: I am kicked in the head by a horse, and killed instantly. My wife attacks my best friend with an axe and beheads him. She then rampages through the dining hall, beheading everyone in her path, Highlander style. My brother shoots her in both lungs, the liver, and finally (mercifully) the brain. He goes on a rampage. My meekest friend (our jeweler,) runs rampant about my factory destroying all of the workshops. He then gets the sniper treatment from my brother, who in turn begins killing all of the livestock outside. My animal training buddy throws him into the hillside so hard that he explodes in a shower of gore. Said animal trainer wades into the dining hall, which is now a mosh pit of miasma and flying furniture, begins grabbing everyone and punching their faces in. Eventually, he succumbs to a mob of dwarves, who then turn their fury inward.

Spring, Year 2: There is one lone dwarf left, attempting to dig out a catacombs. As he breaches where the doorway would be, he meets his final enemy. Thirst.

...my kingdom for a horse.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lezard on July 23, 2011, 09:10:11 am
Quote from: MaximumZero on July 22, 2011, 04:39:40 pm
I will attest from experience that cockroaches taste quite similar to almonds.

That gives me an Idea for a terrifying (yet high in protein)  variation on granola..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beardless on July 23, 2011, 11:09:45 am
Quote from: MaximumZero on July 23, 2011, 12:31:52 am
...my kingdom for a horse.

That, sir, was an excellent read. And a perfect example of why I'm NEVER naming any of my dwarves after anyone I know.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bennerman on July 23, 2011, 11:20:37 am
a minotaur came. I sent my entire fortress (60 dwarves) against him, and they were all killed, save two who are in the hospital, un-ambulatory, starving, and thirsty with a giant cave spider scratching at the door. While I am waiting for them to starve, I get a message "[insert name here], Minotaur has been struck down"... a water buffalo gored him in the lungs and he suffocated... that's just great
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zehive on July 23, 2011, 05:31:36 pm
Spent about a half hour finding the perfect flat place for an above ground fort

GUNS UP, LETS DO THIS

embark


oh.

i forgot to prepare carefully

FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Evergod41 on July 23, 2011, 08:32:55 pm
Realizing that a hoarde of chickens is more effective than your [SPEED:1] legendaryily trained dwarves... (Deon's Mod)

Seriously, like 12 chickens took out 2 or 3 legendary beasts, one of which was a giant zombie, with no casualties... That's not even the strange part to the fight either, because afterwards there was no sign of a corpse produced by said giant zombie... just a puff of smoke and a few chunks of flesh torn away during the fight... easiest clean-up job I ever assigned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on July 23, 2011, 11:09:12 pm
Quote from: zehive on July 23, 2011, 05:31:36 pm
i forgot to prepare carefully

FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Roll with it. It's nice to have a trained diagnostician at the very least, but every other skill and item can be procured on-site. Unless you wanted to bring 400 rutile or something.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tcei on July 24, 2011, 06:27:35 am
In my current fort I had a glass maker suddenly be murdered. After checking the combat log and zooming into the location, I saw my Mayor and a militia dwarf standing over the body in a remote part of the fort. After scratching my head for about an hour, I finally found out that the glass maker was a criminal and the military dwarf was the CotG; I somehow managed to create a fortress guard squad rather than a regular militia squad. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serrational on July 24, 2011, 06:33:24 am
Quote from: Beardless on July 23, 2011, 11:09:45 am
Quote from: MaximumZero on July 23, 2011, 12:31:52 am
...my kingdom for a horse.

That, sir, was an excellent read. And a perfect example of why I'm NEVER naming any of my dwarves after anyone I know.
Naming dwarves after people you know? Only if you hate them will it not turn out horribly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrAnderson on July 24, 2011, 06:48:59 am
don't open your caverns if you got troglodytes in it and no military to take care of them.

it started with 1 kill, then 2, then a giant olm in my staircase, 1 more dead. then the spiral came, went down from 104 to 27, never was happier to see the message "some migrants have arrived". with their help, the coffins could be placed, effectively stopping the spiral at 17+5 migrants...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on July 24, 2011, 07:01:15 am
This ties up with me learning about brokers. Part of how I learned without the wiki.


Adventure mode:
I had a legendary elf bow/swordsman who decimated all who were against the quest-givers.
I had tons of loot including steel weapons and some armor too large for me.

The best part of it was, to buy more ammo.
I took the weight (with the funny symbol next to the name) in shops as the price of the item.
So what happened was that I sold my steel weapons and armor (not including the weaker steel armor I was wearing) for a bunch of arrows and a new iron bow.

Somehow, I felt something was so wrong in trading and thought it as a bug...

(I'm familiar to roguelikes so I guess that is how I lived far enough.)

Fortress mode:
-Idler Haven-
--Trade caravan has arrived!--

"Hey Urist, we have any brokers?"
"No, I'll talk to em. I'm the best speaker there is anyway, who needs brokers."
"You gotta be one to trade."
"Oh, right. Fine but you go first, I'ma take a drink."

Urist Mc 1 goes off to trade, I find my predicament the same, thought weight was the price, began trading some chairs and tables for a barrel of ale and a leather bin.

"What in Armok's name do you think we are, elves?!"
"Err...the broker is busy drinking away an-"
"Get someone who knows what he is doing! I want a profit on this one and I'm not leaving till I get it!"
*Urist McBroker finishes up and pushes aside Urist Mc 1*
"So...what do we have-. By Litasts bloody finger! We have no trade goods!"
"But we have finely crafted chairs, tables and door-"
"They sell at 20-50 each. The goods we need are over 1000."



That is where I noticed, there was a funny symbol next to the weight.

That was the price of it all.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on July 24, 2011, 09:16:22 pm
Quote from: Serrational on July 24, 2011, 06:33:24 am
Quote from: Beardless on July 23, 2011, 11:09:45 am
Quote from: MaximumZero on July 23, 2011, 12:31:52 am
...my kingdom for a horse.

That, sir, was an excellent read. And a perfect example of why I'm NEVER naming any of my dwarves after anyone I know.
Naming dwarves after people you know? Only if you hate them will it not turn out horribly.

It makes for a good "What if?" story, though. Except the parts where my wife falls for everyone but me. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Leatra on July 25, 2011, 01:21:16 am
My first fortress. I was trying to build a 6x6 (or something close to that) statue garden. I built it and filled it with lovely statues. I just had to channel the ceiling so my dwarves could see and greet the bright sun with a smile on their face. I designed the ground for channeling. Below 1 level, my little dwarves were eagerly waiting for the garden to be finished. In the end only thing they could see was the ceiling, collapsing on them.

My first cave-in experience.

Statue garden looked kinda nice with all the red tiles anyway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on July 25, 2011, 06:03:55 am
I've been experimenting with techniques to pierce aquifers...

I tried the pumping idea, which worked... well, not so well the first time. I decided to forgo the aqueduct to direct the water away the pumps - this ended with my expedition leader being washed into the tunnel through which the water was entering.

Fun times.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vile Ampersand on July 26, 2011, 12:23:58 am
Oh, THAT lever... HA HA HA. Good times.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vonyx on July 26, 2011, 11:09:52 am
So, my expedition leader just went into a mood, grabbed 5 leathers, 2 cokes and a stone and made a leather sandal ...

(Massive facepalm as I had hoped for at least some armor ...) 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jc6036 on July 26, 2011, 03:12:00 pm
Sometimes I wonder what the dwarves do with all the scrap material from artifacts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Agent_Irons on July 26, 2011, 03:12:49 pm
Quote from: jc6036 on July 26, 2011, 03:12:00 pm
Sometimes I wonder what the dwarves do with all the scrap material from artifacts.
Eat them, probably.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: vidyabro on July 26, 2011, 04:48:29 pm
after building a small fort within a mountain i decided i should add a waterfall.

before this situation, i had always assumed water would just stop piling up once it hits 7/7 like it does in Minecraft.

so with that in mind, i had my miners go up to the top of the waterfall where the water would come from. i ran out of mechanisms and was eager to build the waterfall, so i just had them dig right into the water source.

it pushed them off the top and they either drowned or died from the impact. i thought "well at least i've got the waterfall," but i forgot that the water doesnt stop piling up.

it flooded my fort and i had no more miners to stop it so i just abandoned then and there. it was truly disappointing. the waterfall wouldve looked glorious
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Katonta on July 26, 2011, 04:49:49 pm
I had been wondering for a while what made Aquafirs so annoying to people. I had settled a couple before and didn't seem to have much problem with them.

Then, I decided to try out a surface settlement and didn't bother to notice I was settling in an aquafir. When I arrive, I dig for a bit and realize I have no available stone. No biggie, I think, I'll just dig down to get some. But, *facepalm* it turns out the aquafir I had settled on filled every hole I dug with water, making it impossible to reach the stone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zehive on July 26, 2011, 06:55:21 pm
Quote from: Katonta on July 26, 2011, 04:49:49 pm
I had been wondering for a while what made Aquafirs so annoying to people. I had settled a couple before and didn't seem to have much problem with them.

Then, I decided to try out a surface settlement and didn't bother to notice I was settling in an aquafir. When I arrive, I dig for a bit and realize I have no available stone. No biggie, I think, I'll just dig down to get some. But, *facepalm* it turns out the aquafir I had settled on filled every hole I dug with water, making it impossible to reach the stone.
thats what an aquifer is :P options are.. somehow drop a plug in, which im unsure how this is achievable as I've tried it and the soil just disappears, or hopefully it'll all freeze.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on July 27, 2011, 12:20:03 am
Quote from: Katonta on July 26, 2011, 04:49:49 pm
I had been wondering for a while what made Aquafirs so annoying to people. I had settled a couple before and didn't seem to have much problem with them.

Then, I decided to try out a surface settlement and didn't bother to notice I was settling in an aquafir. When I arrive, I dig for a bit and realize I have no available stone. No biggie, I think, I'll just dig down to get some. But, *facepalm* it turns out the aquafir I had settled on filled every hole I dug with water, making it impossible to reach the stone.

Aquifers typically exist on a specific range of z-levels.  If you can get beneath it, you can have all the stone you want.  If you want to get through and you have no stone, you can build pumps out of wood.  It is, however, much easier to punch through aquifers if the aquifer is in stone as smoothed stone doesn't drip.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mount on July 28, 2011, 01:09:16 am
In an early fortress, many moons (and revisions!) ago, I inadvertently settled in a Cold biome.  So cold, in fact, that the river only thawed for about 3 days at the height of 'summer.'  "No worries!" says me, "There's an underground river just north of my fortress!  I shall make a glorious aqueduct!"  Thanks to plentiful bushes, I was able to slow the inevitable doom-by-dehydration, but thanks to a bug in the barrel/drink mechanics (barrels wouldn't completely 'empty' and thus couldn't be reused) I had to deforest half the continent to do it. 

I dug a SIZEABLE cistern, I constructed a hanging aqueduct tunnel from the mountain face to the detached spire I was using as my fortress, and dug right up to the damp stone.  "WAIT!" says me, "I should build a failsafe to shut off the water!" and so I carved a 2x2 room right next to the 'maintenance entrance' to my aqueduct, and linked the lever therein to a floodgate deep in the aqueduct. 

I pierced the river, losing a miner to the fast-flowing water.. and then noticed that the maintenance hatch was hanging open.  As was the hatch above my cistern... which led into my fortress.   A goblin had picked both doors (jamming them open) and was in the process of snatching a lovely gemstone from my stockpiles.  Panicked, I sent a dwarf to pull the failsafe switch and stop the water -- just in time for the water to gush out the open emergency hatch, lethally encasing said dwarf in ice, and covering the failsafe room's entrance in a glacier.  The water then proceeded to fill my entire fortress from the cistern up, and flashfreezing a couple of dwarfs who'd been flushed out of the fortress into the overworld.  Only my woodcutter survived, but he went mad from grief and eventually succumbed to hunger, thirst and/or hypothermia.  And that's how I learned to set levers on external doors which aren't meant for frequent use.

The only bright spot is, the goblin tried to run out the way he came, and took his ill-gotten gem to a watery grave.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dr_random on July 28, 2011, 05:39:52 am
Dear fellow dwarves,

ahh how jolly we were when the Elven caravan concluded their special sale offer to the goblin ambush party. Wood! Wood! We cried in joy and streamed out of the fortress to beat the greenskins into the muck and claim the riches.
It dint take long for Urist McPlunderfist to discover that all the dead elves had lovely socks on them. "Quick! Haul that unlucky bastard Urist Bytheriverstroller into his tomb and then get out the cart. We shall have a sock party tonight! Let's drink the booze from their socks till dawn!"
And all those buckets, cages and whatnot. Haul them in! Everything!
Well we should have thought about those elven toys skyrocketing our wealth when we took all the loot. Maybe we shouldn' have been that greedy?
Bah, our fort is strong and the gates hold firmly. I wonder why the marksdwarves do perform so poorly from the archer tower? And what's wrong with their steel mailshirts? Those goblins must be some crackshots. Retreat, RETREAT McBleeder - ah to hell with ... Now fire that darn ballista will you, you f**kin civilian! Damn greenskins seem to smell those traps. Shii*, we need another plan to get rid of them. Get the architect design some pumps and tubes for flooding the access ways. I want their socks as well. And would you please get the rotting babies out of the danger room - it's really disturbing, guys.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: karloss99 on July 28, 2011, 04:06:45 pm
My latest Embark.

Embarked to cave.
Cave was empty.
Got into caverns.
Started a base down there.
*while my 1 axedorf is busy drinking*
 UristMcMason Cancels Drink - interrupted by Giant cave spider.
 :o
...

My mason was lover to my axedorf... So... my miner was the fist to fall to tantrum. While making the coffin for the mason!!
*Soon*
My axedorf calms down... as the last dorf still alive.
sent her against everything caver layers 1&2 had to offer.
In the end she had 34 kills (counting 5 dorfs)
What took her down?

Thirst

/facedesk

Why?
Because If that GCS hadn't killed my mason i would have an awesome cave-fort...
oh well...

"Did you know that 9 out of every 10 embarkments end in complete disasters?"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on July 28, 2011, 06:50:16 pm
Quote from: karloss99 on July 28, 2011, 04:06:45 pm
"Did you know that 9 out of every 10 embarkments end in complete disasters?"

And the other one ends because the embark profile forgot to include anything useful.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nighthawk on July 29, 2011, 12:10:58 am
First artifact ever.

The Cooperation of Liberating - A chalk ring. Adorned with hanging rings of chalk. On the item is an image of rats in chalk.

*Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SmokedRWA on July 29, 2011, 12:55:58 am
Since I edited crops to take longer to grow and yield less, I have been desperately trying to survive from caravan to caravan. Unfortunately for the last two years I was under siege and no caravan has come. When they finally do and bring all of the goods I ordered, I realize that at the time I had a relatively comfortable position as far as stocks went, and passed on ordering a lot of food. It was at this point that I realized that the only edible food left were about 16 tallow roasts with a rapidly dwindling supply of raw tallow for future cooking. I started to allow seeds that I had in abundance to be cooked to try to avert the situation.

And then that's when I saw the elephants grazing along the slopes of my volcano. This wasn't my first time noticing them, but I kept saying to myself that I need a hunter first (which I don't have). I realize that I can just send my regular military in instead... my food crisis has been averted now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sir_Cuddles on July 29, 2011, 02:58:35 am
Embark and find a cave on level 10. Seems clear enough only a few harmless creatures on the inside. carving out a base when mason is attack by a cave croc and gets killed 1 second before my axe, sword, and wrester dwarfs come to the rescue. Its sad, but I can get through it, I am sure there will be a mason in a migration. Fortress carved out and as I was just about to move my starting goods inside troglodytes everywhere, but no worries my three fighter dwarfs are really strong and can easily take them out. CHARGE! Suddenly right before they reach the troglodytes they all decide to fall asleep. The troglodytes (including 1 named one) run over and kill them in their sleep.

I didn't really facepalm because this is the third time my fighters have fallen asleep while entering battle so I just wrote it off as a fun way to lose early ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sangi on July 29, 2011, 01:19:22 pm
Quote from: Nighthawk on July 29, 2011, 12:10:58 am
The Cooperation of Liberating - A chalk ring. Adorned with hanging rings of chalk. On the item is an image of rats in chalk.

Its the Ring of Nihm. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jc6036 on July 29, 2011, 01:21:08 pm
Damn, nihm. . . . .I cant put my finger on it but it sounds familiar. What is this "nihm"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on July 29, 2011, 08:49:43 pm
Nimh?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mount on July 29, 2011, 09:39:56 pm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mrs._Frisby_and_the_Rats_of_NIMH
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vile Ampersand on July 30, 2011, 12:40:38 am
I knock an entire migrant wave over a 12z level drop into the crocodile infested waters as a tribute to Armok. The animal trainer learns how to swim on the spot and, biting, clawing, and scratching large scaly reptiles, killing two of the horde, swims into the underground flooded chamber where sed reptiles get cage trapped, emerges after swimming vertically 8 Z levels into the bowels of the fort and, after seeing everyone he knew and loved die, let loose a fell roar, upon the announcement of which, I started to worry. How bad can it be? He kills some peasant nobody makes a leather item what ever it's all good, wait what?! My legendary metal crafter?! Oh...Oh... I was so angry that I sealed off the entire fortress and began to flood it at the same time as I let the crocs in. Ha. Take that you stupid dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on July 30, 2011, 06:19:50 am
What a badass. That dwarf earned a place in your fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Agent_Irons on July 30, 2011, 04:48:53 pm
Quote from: Rockphed on July 27, 2011, 12:20:03 am
Aquifers typically exist on a specific range of z-levels.  If you can get beneath it, you can have all the stone you want.  If you want to get through and you have no stone, you can build pumps out of wood.  It is, however, much easier to punch through aquifers if the aquifer is in stone as smoothed stone doesn't drip.
TIL smoothed stone doesn't drip.

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kaypo on July 30, 2011, 07:35:00 pm
Well, it all started on a hot summer day, I was playing Dwarf fortress, same old, same old, I've been playing this specific one for about a week, got a full regiment of troops all ironclad in armor, I didn't have much in the way of livestock only a few yaks, and some pets that the migrants brought along. Well I neglected said yaks for about 3 months, they had nothing to eat, so yak A decides to attack yak B, so yak B gets angrier than yak A, Yak B then attacks donkey A, Donkey A then proceeds to hit Fire mephit A (yes I am playing the ironhand genesis mod) Fire mephit A feels threatened, and starts blasting fire everywhere, I knew at this point what had happened, but I did not notice that cat A was caught on fire and heading straight for my fortress... whilst on fire cat A ran to its owner, who was the brewer of the fort and was taking ale to the food stockpile, the cat catches said dwarf on fire, the ale erupts into fire and explodes, along with all the other ale in the food stockpile, while the cat was still running around catching everything and its mother on fire. And thus dwarf A and B died, the husband of dwarf B, dwarf C becomes pissed, and punches dwarf D, dwarf D fights back, and kills dwarf B, the friends of dwarf B were either enraged or stricken with melancholy (he had ALOT of friends). Dwarf E (friends with dwarf B) attacks and kills dwarf F, Dwarf F's wife, dwarfette G gets angry as fuck and attacks and kills Dwarf E, and so on, and so on..... long story short, my fortress died, all I could do was stare and watch, with my jaw slacked...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on July 30, 2011, 07:41:23 pm
Welcome to the Tantrum Spiral!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Leatra on July 30, 2011, 07:49:40 pm
Tantrums are !!Fun!! to watch :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jc6036 on July 30, 2011, 09:23:30 pm
I haven't had a single spiral ever. "Urist, I regret to inform you that. . .that. . .your entire family has been lit on fire and left to rot in the booze stockpile. . .im so sorry. . ."   Urist:"Pfffshaw, who neads family? Look at this dining room, and those chairs! And those engravings of burning elves! Its. . Its. . . .Legendary!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tyler6498 on July 30, 2011, 09:58:19 pm
Quote from: jc6036 on July 30, 2011, 09:23:30 pm
I haven't had a single spiral ever. "Urist, I regret to inform you that. . .that. . .your entire family has been lit on fire and left to rot in the booze stockpile. . .im so sorry. . ."   Urist:"Pfffshaw, who neads family? Look at this dining room, and those chairs! And those engravings of burning elves! Its. . Its. . . .Legendary!"

This. Every fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dwarfhoplite on July 31, 2011, 04:16:33 pm
oh my fucking hell. i was practicing swimming with my adventurer when suddenly winter arrived on calendar
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: OniRyo on July 31, 2011, 08:23:31 pm
Never had any real face palm moments.... except ya know, that tiny little !!EPIC!! failure I lost my fort to a booze-lacking tantrum spiral. It went something like this:

I didn't run out of booze because I wasn't watching my supplies, no that would be too simple of a careless mistake to warrant a full on face-palming (also simple enough to recover from assuming they hadn't gone too long). I managed to have no empty barrels (a running theme in my forts apparently). So i use the manager screen to order 30 barrels made (had nothing else for the carpenters or manager to do). Crisis averted? Not by a long shot, see apparently my woodcutters all got slaughtered in a goblin ambush and I didn't realize. I also had no wood I found out when I went to check on the barrel progress and it was still reading 30/30. So here I am with no wood, no cutters, and not knowing I could make STONE POTS (irony: having 2 legendary masons and realizing you can have them do the very thing you need atm). So I had to assign some cutters, no biggie. Got enough wood to make the hippie bastards Elfs drop dead as soon as they arrived due to pure shock yet still no barrels being made. Turns out the dwarf who had gone tantrum due to lack of drink by this point (among other minor things like his pet dying from over-crowd fighting in the pen) happened to be one of my military's best and he had killed my carpenter's friend or whatever which set off a small spiral. Set EVERYONE to carpenter to make some stupid barrels in hopes that I could at least get enough drink going to maybe contain things before it all went boom. Would have worked great, except some where in all this my farmer/brewer died as well.

So some good bit of praying to amok later (or really whatever diety would be so inclined to save the fort - i figured with my fort's tendency of butchering goblins in massive blood shed amok owed me one so I started there), I finally got some drink flow going, managed to contain the spiral and all things seemed all nice and good on the road to recovery except no one was drinking. You see, about 90% of my population had gone from thirsty to dehydrated by this point and apparently dehydrated Dwarfs need water and not booze. Not a problem except that pesky little thing called winter freezing ALL sources of water! So everyone died of thirst before it thawed except a couple - who were butchered by the tantruming dehydrated dwarfs.

All my forts end in spirals so far. "Before you die.... you will see: The Spiral!" should be the motto for my forts I swear... I think I nearly broke my nose from the face-palming which occurred during this entire thing.

The only thing more dangerous than a goblin siege, forgotten syndrome beasts, megabeasts and a magma-flood (unintentionally inside your base) all striking at once: A single unhappy sober dwarf with near-legendary combat skills. =/


...I love DF because not only is losing fun, it's outright epic when you do it right even ESPECIALLY when its from ridiculously non-epic things that create a endless chain of chaos in their wake which in turn become epic! :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on July 31, 2011, 08:51:52 pm
>.>
Stone pots need stonecrafters, not masons.

Dehydrated dwarves will drink booze, but it takes them a long time to drink from a barrel and if everybody's thirsty you need enough for the whole fortress. Next time, make waterskins and put everyone in a squad. Refilling a waterskin takes a few ticks and not a few days like drinking from a barrel, and they'll fill up on water if there isn't enough booze.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: OniRyo on July 31, 2011, 11:30:16 pm
Ah......well I probably had a few stone crafters anyway but yeah, didn't even know stone pots existed at the time let alone what they did.

Good to know about the water skins being fast, should save a lot of dwarfs next time :) (or at least enough to hold out till the immigrants come to repopulate). When I got the booze flow going again I think I had maybe 40 units worth tops to spread among 80+ dwarfs by the time they started dropping/spiraling so that's probably why I thought they wouldn't drink it while dehydrated. I'm surprised they didn't die of thirst WHILE drinking (which has happened in one of my forts, dude dropped on his way to get drink. Sick thing is he was literally right next to the food storage with all the booze.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mister Dirks on July 31, 2011, 11:43:36 pm
As i was progressing wonderfully through my cave challenge fort, a very mean little forgotten beast showed up. I did not know that they exist on the first cavern level.

(http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/4210/forgottenbeastattack.png)

Boy was i wrong.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mount on August 01, 2011, 01:23:58 am
Quote from: Mister Dirks on July 31, 2011, 11:43:36 pm
As i was progressing wonderfully through my cave challenge fort, a very mean little forgotten beast showed up. I did not know that they exist on the first cavern level.

(http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/4210/forgottenbeastattack.png)

Boy was i wrong.

That... looks like the forgotten beast punched out all your blood... from ALL your dwarfs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mister Dirks on August 01, 2011, 01:42:10 am
Quote from: Mount on August 01, 2011, 01:23:58 am
Quote from: Mister Dirks on July 31, 2011, 11:43:36 pm
As i was progressing wonderfully through my cave challenge fort, a very mean little forgotten beast showed up. I did not know that they exist on the first cavern level.

(http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/4210/forgottenbeastattack.png)

Boy was i wrong.

That... looks like the forgotten beast punched out all your blood... from ALL your dwarfs.

Was a nasty little bugger, a gigantic quadrapod made of ice. Also it had wings. by the way, that orange arrow is the last remaining surviver, who later on went insane and killed the horses and 2 cats, before the FB came back and annihilated him, and everything else.

EDIT: Also forgot to mention he had the deadly dust breath attack. Which, also, blew dwarfs into walls, smashing them into oblivion
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HoboWithAGlock on August 01, 2011, 02:24:23 am
Quote from: Mister Dirks on July 31, 2011, 11:43:36 pm
As i was progressing wonderfully through my cave challenge fort, a very mean little forgotten beast showed up. I did not know that they exist on the first cavern level.

(http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/4210/forgottenbeastattack.png)

Boy was i wrong.

Were you using the new Mars world generation?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mister Dirks on August 01, 2011, 02:53:05 am
Quote from: HoboWithAGlock on August 01, 2011, 02:24:23 am
Quote from: Mister Dirks on July 31, 2011, 11:43:36 pm
As i was progressing wonderfully through my cave challenge fort, a very mean little forgotten beast showed up. I did not know that they exist on the first cavern level.

(http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/4210/forgottenbeastattack.png)

Boy was i wrong.

Were you using the new Mars world generation?

Nope, dont even know what your talking about  :D. i am using the Dig Deeper GOLD mod though
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JTH on August 01, 2011, 04:35:32 am
Quote from: Mister Dirks on August 01, 2011, 02:53:05 am
Quote from: HoboWithAGlock on August 01, 2011, 02:24:23 am
Quote from: Mister Dirks on July 31, 2011, 11:43:36 pm
As i was progressing wonderfully through my cave challenge fort, a very mean little forgotten beast showed up. I did not know that they exist on the first cavern level.

*snip*

Boy was i wrong.

Were you using the new Mars world generation?

Nope, dont even know what your talking about  :D. i am using the Dig Deeper GOLD mod though

It was a joke. Since the floor is all red (from dwarf blood I presume) and Mars has a similarly red surface, he made the connection. I laughed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dr_random on August 01, 2011, 05:55:32 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on July 31, 2011, 08:51:52 pm
>.>
Stone pots need stonecrafters, not masons.

Dehydrated dwarves will drink booze, but it takes them a long time to drink from a barrel and if everybody's thirsty you need enough for the whole fortress. Next time, make waterskins and put everyone in a squad. Refilling a waterskin takes a few ticks and not a few days like drinking from a barrel, and they'll fill up on water if there isn't enough booze.

Doh, I wondered what took the thirsty dwarfs of mine to drink that time. This is a nice advice to go for those tight booze situations.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on August 01, 2011, 03:32:48 pm
There is one caveat with waterskins though -- a dwarf will take three units when refilling the waterskin. If you're starting with a bunch of thirsty dwarves with waterskins and no water to tide them over, two units per dwarf are going to be taken out of circulation. This doesn't really matter initially. If you don't have enough booze to satisfy a bunch of dwarves with waterskins, then you won't have enough barrels to satisfy a bunch of dwarves without waterskins (unless all your barrels have five units of booze in them when they come out of the still, maybe). Once everybody is carrying booze, however, the status screen ceases to be an accurate measure of how much drink is available.

Running out of barrelled booze won't kill anyone if there's water available, but three drinks of water is enough to make a dwarf start suffering from sobriety. Still, it's worth it to have a 90-dwarf fortress go from roughly a dozen drinkers at a time to one or two.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mister Dirks on August 01, 2011, 04:53:24 pm
Quote from: JTH on August 01, 2011, 04:35:32 am

It was a joke. Since the floor is all red (from dwarf blood I presume) and Mars has a similarly red surface, he made the connection. I laughed.

Oh i see, now i feel stupid :/
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Crazy Cow on August 01, 2011, 05:43:52 pm
Hey, guys. You know those military-based forts that never got attacked and therefore got abandoned year two-ish? Well, I decided to make a megaproject, and I went to turn off invasions in my init folder so I could make it in peace.
Yeah, you can guess what happened next.
*facedesk*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aatch on August 01, 2011, 06:55:37 pm
When I first started: not realising that one needs to build both down and up stairs, then trapping a miner in hole with no idea how to get him back <.<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RTiger on August 02, 2011, 02:43:17 am
Every fort that I build I build with Defenses in mind, namely traps. So the game goes on, anyone that comes even close to my fort needing to go through roughly 1000 attacks from my traps, and not dodge off the very narrow platform only to fall to your doom. Dozens of goblins, an ettin or two, all fell to the large number of traps. I also sealed off the caverns so I wouldn't have to worry about FB and other nasties from below. Needless to say, I was more then a bit lax about my military.

Then the megabeast came. *Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: adasdad on August 02, 2011, 12:56:36 pm
dimple cups dont give food, booze, or clothing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lezard on August 02, 2011, 03:47:04 pm
Finding out that dimple cups don't provide booze or food from a Face Palm thread...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mobotium on August 02, 2011, 04:15:12 pm
Having planted dimple cups every possible time for some 15 fortresses withouth realizing they dont give booze or food. And then finding out from a facepallm thread...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samrobot on August 02, 2011, 11:21:13 pm
^ Absolutely hilarious.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zwei on August 03, 2011, 02:47:37 am
Yeah, I usually go for "make 3x3 plot for everything, plant everything" ... then find out that my plant stockpiles were taken over by Dimple Cups, Blade Weeds and Hide Roots after few years.

Then it is time to start milling/dyeing operation.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lanceleoghauni on August 03, 2011, 10:38:17 am
Building a Convoluted and perfect water system to channel and cleanse the water of toxins should it become contaminated, only to discover my "Aquifer" was the tile under a pond.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ctone on August 03, 2011, 11:42:46 am
Finding out that bridges can be raised and not just retracted. This killed 2 of my forts before I found out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jc6036 on August 03, 2011, 12:08:51 pm
Finding out that drawbridges break when trying to crush a squad of mounted sieger.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 03, 2011, 03:27:29 pm
Quote from: jc6036 on August 03, 2011, 12:08:51 pm
Finding out that drawbridges break when trying to crush a squad of mounted sieger.

Or clowns. Or any building destroying monster.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on August 03, 2011, 04:45:54 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on August 03, 2011, 03:27:29 pm
Quote from: jc6036 on August 03, 2011, 12:08:51 pm
Finding out that drawbridges break when trying to crush a squad of mounted sieger.

Or clowns. Or any building destroying monster.
It's not building destroying creatures, but creatures over a certain size.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 03, 2011, 05:43:02 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on August 03, 2011, 04:45:54 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on August 03, 2011, 03:27:29 pm
Quote from: jc6036 on August 03, 2011, 12:08:51 pm
Finding out that drawbridges break when trying to crush a squad of mounted sieger.

Or clowns. Or any building destroying monster.
It's not building destroying creatures, but creatures over a certain size.

Well. The more you know.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kaleb702 Games on August 03, 2011, 10:37:24 pm
Turns out, wells desalinate water.
I'll need an actual desalination system (I like to think of pumps as having filters that remove salt.) later, once that glitch is fixed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jc6036 on August 03, 2011, 10:41:13 pm
Well. . . .thats odd. Maybe the wells have some sort of weird repulsion effect on salt :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kaleb702 Games on August 03, 2011, 10:42:39 pm
Or they have filters in them too. Since mobs can get through them though, that would mean Dwarven engineering causes the filter to only function if water is passing through. And somehow the bucket and rope go through the filter as well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dwarfhoplite on August 04, 2011, 03:42:32 am
I forgot about water pressure. yeah
http://postimage.org/image/1d3n16nr8/ (http://postimage.org/image/1d3n16nr8/)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 04, 2011, 05:35:26 am
Been a while since I've played DF and i've forgotten what most of the levers in Knifemurders do (well, which lever in group x affects nearby object y).  Considering most are tied to power, water channeling and the pumpstack; this could end in !Fun!.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: wraiith303 on August 04, 2011, 08:25:05 am
I have never had a fort that lasts long enough to reach economy since I ussually abandon before i get there, because I am rather a perfectionist when it comes to DF (I know its crazy dwarfy to try and run a "perfect" fort when dwarves are involved)

To give you an Idea:

Example Problem:
I DETEST multi coloured floors/walls
Example Solution:
cheats like reveal and liquid to place convenient obsidian walls where needed for the rest of us who are less rainbow inclined

After many abandoned fortresses due to stuff not being "perfect" I finally found a suitable spot to my liking to embark, built my essential buildings in the soft clay layer which can conveniently be channeled away to leave behind only my final fortress.

So I have this epic entrance way carved out of solid obsidian, smoothed and engraved consisting of an entrance portal with pillars and planned to include floor mosaic of gold and silver. the portal is connected to this huge chasm, about 70 squares long, and about 20 wide. the chasm is 4z levels deep and has 3 5x5 "pillars" in the middle with bridges connecting the front portal to pillar, to pillar, to pillar, to back portal, each 10 squares (max) length. The back portal is also decorated with smaller pillars and statues (Everything, wall, floors etc made of obsidian) then the back portal has the entrance to the "great obsidian staircase" going down in a perfect twisting circle for about 80z levels then twists and gets to my actual entrance, an convenient underground "volcano". so now I have this elegant arched deck built from obsidian at the "obsidian way's" exit and a 20square bridge (a bridge from each side connecting to each other) to the otherside of the "volcano" (yes the deck has pillars and more statues) and a 27z level drop from the bridge before you hit the magma down below. I started planning my very aesthetically pleasing bedroom designs, great dining room with pillars... statues - yes and a "bathing pool", more mosiac art and so forth.

Back to the point:
Now I wanted to read up on the wiki to see what my dwarves will need for the shops and economy so I can plan my marketplace/mall in advance to match the rest of the epicness going around, and realized - DF2010 doesnt have an economy anymore.... .... .... ... .. . and I was really looking forward to FINALLY get an economy going for the first time now that I had a fortress that wouldnt bore me from lack of epicness dwarfishness.

Urist McDFPlayer cancels fort construction: Job interest misplaced due to lack of economy

I can see the elves and humans walking over the great clearglass/steel/gold bridge, over great mosaic floors, past masterwork engravings, statues, going 80z levels down in the everwinding engraved obsidian staircase, reaching the volcano, crossing it, into the great entrance hallway of dwarfish might, and unloading their puny and seemingly less significant tradecrafts while admiring the masterfully crafted obsidian doors leading to the surely even greater fortress below! While behind the doors the dwarves are all crammed together in three barren stone rooms, the last constructions before the lead architect got taken by a fey mood and left the fortress muttering something about waste of time. Atleast they can PRETEND to outsiders-that-arent-allowed-to-pass-into-the-inner-fort that they live in a true dwarven city that songs can be sung of!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mrtspence on August 04, 2011, 08:49:41 am
My current fort has numerous defensive measures in place to defeat the chaos warriors that frequently invade. These include a pressure washer that blasts enemies into my caverns, a dropaway bridge into a pit filled with bees, an array of cage and weapon traps, and a hallway filled with repeating upright steel spikes.            After the latest invasion (of gobbos) was sent packing, I let my dwarves out of the fort to collect the goblinite. I left for a few minutes and came back to a scene of horrible carnage: I had left the repeating spike trap on repeat and it had killed and maimed 90 dwarves (and counting) as they rushed out to loot corpses. Lesson learned. My fort of 180 dwarves descended into a tantrum spiral and was later wiped out by chaos warriors as nobody was able to man the spike trap XD.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kaleb702 Games on August 04, 2011, 12:27:42 pm
Quote from: wraiith303 on August 04, 2011, 08:25:05 am
I have never had a fort that lasts long enough to reach economy
Economy is disabled...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lezard on August 04, 2011, 12:30:11 pm
Quote from: dwarfhoplite on August 04, 2011, 03:42:32 am
I forgot about water pressure. yeah
http://postimage.org/image/1d3n16nr8/ (http://postimage.org/image/1d3n16nr8/)

my poor eyesight registered the text at the bottom as "Water is upon you" for a second.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: malvado on August 04, 2011, 03:07:02 pm
Bleargh!!!

Just sent my full militia out to fight some invaders, forgot to switch from wooden training swords to real metal...
Oh well, the traps did get the goblins after they slaugthered 17 good soldiers and their war dogs.

It did help my fps a bit though lol.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on August 04, 2011, 05:39:56 pm
Legendary Marksdwarf militia commander is out on the walls picking off goblins....


....Goblin Elite Bowman headshots him from behind. That's three out of four elite commanders down.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: valayane on August 04, 2011, 08:48:06 pm
through a bad channeling planning, my stonelady (my personal favorite and my ingame avatar) fell to her death  :'( :'( :'(
she now rests in a golden tomb in an engraved obsidian room with a golden floor and golden statues, ya i imported a lot of gold, cuz the rock i dig in is all obsidian
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aiyon on August 04, 2011, 11:28:02 pm
Facepalm moment?
20 highly trained soldiers being killed by a giant toad... and failing to wound it.

How the moment was salvaged?
A lone metalworker, who I'd named Chuck beforehand as a joke, since his last name was similar to "norris"... takes on the toad with no armour or weapons and survives having his head beat up a bit... eventually passing out but wounding the toad such that it runs away.
He then gets up. He leads my militia now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Berserkenstein on August 05, 2011, 03:58:16 am
I just made 765 kaolinite blocks which was all of my kaolinite, then I read about pottery on the wiki.  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shimmler on August 05, 2011, 08:48:22 am
A wild horse wandered in my fortress not so long ago. Big deal. Then I've got tired of all the job cancelation messages.
To hell with her, my militia will kill it, thought i. Ten dwarves (but only one with the axe, others are barehanded) would be more than enough.
It's just a horse, right?
WRONG
Sholidibruk the badass dwarf-slayer it was called after it struck down half of my militia, with axe-dwarf captain being it's first victim. After killing about 15 dwarves and !strangling! a war dog, it was killed by miner gone berserk. I kind of understand the little  guy.
Now the fortress rapidly succumbs to the tantrum spiral. The abovementioned miner is killing everything in his path.

Time to reclaim the fortress of Snakesoils...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Akaens on August 05, 2011, 03:14:41 pm
I had a squad of 4 recruits lead by a top-tier hunter all armed with crossbows, quivers and bolts (designated for training and combat).
I would have trained them to at least novice marksdwarves to get the benefits of fortifications, but even setting the proper ranges and setting their squad to train on the archery targets (as well as jumping through the flaming hoops known as scheduling), I couldn't get them to sit down and shoot at the target. 
So along come goblin siege.  No worries, I'll station that squad in my tower and let them potshot the incoming gobs.  Nope.  They all mill around and refuse to approach the fortifications at all, even though there are clearly hostiles on the other side.  My hunter (what a champ) took care of them as if saying "See newbies?  This is how it's done,"  while everyone else stood there joking about cats.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mister Dirks on August 05, 2011, 03:20:25 pm
Heres a water pressure one that happened a while back.

I decided to make a rather large cistern on my 2nd fort, deep underground. As I finally got the water flowing and miners to safety, I was rather proud, and kinda forgot about it, and started to manage something else. Then I see: Urist Mcfarmer has drowned. Wut? so i look and the dining hall and everything below was being flooded. I was a sad panda  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on August 06, 2011, 08:09:11 am
My second aquifer breach has sat around inactive and half-done for ages because first I didn't have enough pumps to do it speedily, then I had the pumps but not enough patience and available dwarves. Looked at it today and thought "oh, if only I could find enough dwarves to run all those pumps". I glance up slightly, and six tiles away is the power generator for my magma stack...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kaleb702 Games on August 06, 2011, 12:56:05 pm
I made a reservoir. AKA: River with a floodgate'd tunnel. Floodgate controlled by one lever. Dwarf pulls the lever, the reservoir fills fine... But then it overflows. Barely, only to 1/7, and it all evaporated afterwards, but still, that was STUPID of me. Good thing I had the Dwarf close the floodgate.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on August 06, 2011, 10:15:03 pm
Always check what the season is before turning your full-to-bursting reservoir into a water cannon.  I knew it it gush out, but it's a tad embarrassing when it freezes right outside the channel.  (The reservoir itself is just inside the base of a mountain)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: moki on August 07, 2011, 11:47:22 am
I wanted to try this danger room thingy everybody is talking about... in true and complete dwarfiness, I didn't read the wiki first and just built the whole thing with menacing wooden spikes instead of wooden training spears. Oh well, I guess there will be new migrants next year and my doctor got some training as well. Basically everything went great, though not as expected.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: krisslanza on August 07, 2011, 07:37:18 pm
Just started a new embark and was starting to mine down, get my keep built... then I noticed everyone was thirsty. The stream was currently frozen over, so I took a peek at my stocks. I completely forgot to actually start my embark with any drink, whoops!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on August 08, 2011, 06:36:18 am
Always check whether the prison door is locked before dropping armed goblins into it...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Brackev on August 08, 2011, 09:27:58 pm
Forgotten Beasts can appear ANYWHERE on the cavern layer.

-Captain Urnst "Nothing can get past our defences."
-Soldier "Sir, Forgotten Beast has arrived."
-Captain Urnst "Let the traps get him."
-Soldier "The traps didn't get him."
-Captain Urnst "Then the bridge will get him."
-Soldier "The Bridge didn't didn't get him."
-Captain Urnst "Then he is badly hurt, right?"
-Soldier "That's a negative. Not a scratch."
-Captain Urnst "How?"
-Soldier "He spawned on our central stairway.  Turn around and say hi to him."
*corrosive blood spilt in the meeting hall*
*many deaths*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on August 08, 2011, 10:39:36 pm
Dwarves on break are determined to ignore you, no matter what. Their stupidity is so truly mind-boggling it's a wonder evolution lets them exist at all.

Case in point: I had an ambush, so I set everyone to run for the main hall and seal the gate using a burrow alert. Normally, this is ironclad. Apparently I'm playing with soft iron.

My jeweller and my farmer decide that this is the best time off they've ever had and run outside to go play in the sand. Because the jeweller was useful, I decided to open the gate and send the military out.

Well, two axedwarves and two recruits ran out, wearing noting but cloth and armed with no more than angry words.

Net result: All my livestock dead, half my militia gone (including, perplexingly, a mechanic who I wasn't even aware was in the military), three dead goblins out of fifteen and one moron still running around picking herbs.

Does the [intelligent] tag mean nothing?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Masta Crouton on August 09, 2011, 09:35:48 am
cotton candy sutures.


wtf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lezard on August 09, 2011, 09:48:08 am
Quote from: Niccolo on August 08, 2011, 10:39:36 pm
Does the [intelligent] tag mean nothing?

It means that things can't be butchered and milked...better off removing it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Harke the Boeotarch on August 09, 2011, 11:28:22 am
My fortress had only one entrance; a 3 tile wide hallway filled with thirty spiked wooden ball weapon traps in ten neat rows (the first row of weapon traps had only one spiked ball in each trap, the second two and so on, until the last row where they all had ten balls). After that, six cage traps and a war dog.
The entrance had two drawbridges each linked to a lever in a sculpture garden. No army yet.

Somedwarf is appointed to be mayor, and I've just struck plenty of native gold; let's make some furniture!

I haven't had anything worse than the odd goblin snatchter, but I'm getting kind of suspicious...

The first drawbridge is in the ice wall around my entrance. I decide I going to build a tower made out of ice on top, so my marksdwarves -that I still don't have yet- can shoot those nasty goblins. I need to have a stairwell down to my meeting hall so the dwarves can actually go up, bypassing the traps, and I construct a walled off area out of ice. One problem, the dwarf who made it is now locked inside and the stairwell isn't finished yet. Never mind; let's dig though the wall and build a door there.

It all seems to work. The ice tower gets another floor, and the fort now has 88 happy citizens.
But wait! What's this?

''A vile force of darkness has arrived!''    

Pull lever. Entrance closed. Still no army. Forbid door. Wait a sec! The door has never been built!
Goblins neatly bypass all traps.

#FACEPALM THE FIRST#

Blood is everywhere. Quickly close off the nether regions on the fort with a forbidden door. Pfew!
22 dwarves left and falling. Hunting for vermin? No food stockpiles where the goblins can't slaughter you.

#FACEPALM THE SECOND#

They all starved.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on August 09, 2011, 11:30:58 am
Quote from: Lezard on August 09, 2011, 09:48:08 am
Quote from: Niccolo on August 08, 2011, 10:39:36 pm
Does the [intelligent] tag mean nothing?

It means that things can't be butchered and milked...better off removing it.

<.< I forgot that rhetorical stuff doesn't carry so well throguh writing.

xD I know what it does... it's just that I've seen ants with more self-preservation than that particular set of dwarves. I mean, they were stupider than usual.

Which I wasn't aware was possible.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UristMcHuman on August 09, 2011, 11:53:16 am
Quote from: Niccolo on August 08, 2011, 10:39:36 pm
Does the [intelligent] tag mean nothing?

The wiki says that dwarves are "intelligent". Apparently the [INTELLIGENT] tag doesn't work all that well.

Similarly, I have a fort that has lots of coal. I'm running out of fuel and trees are too scarce and therefore too valuable to make fuel out of. I also have way more dwarves than houses at this point, so I need stone to make more homes. JUST AFTER I DESIGNATE THE DIGGING, my only three miners/masons decide that this is the BEST time to go on break. For a season and a half. My happiness is plummeting, (no) thanks to my "useful" miners. >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 09, 2011, 12:25:21 pm
You could always do like I did. I modded plant oil into furnace fuel. :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UristMcHuman on August 09, 2011, 02:32:30 pm
I lost my metalworker, my farmer, and my woodcutter to two giant beetles. I didn't know that they were hostile at the sight of a dwarf!

*face-palms*

My remaining dwarfs are: My doctor, my miner (thank Armok!), my crafts-dwarf, and my leader.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWdeV on August 09, 2011, 03:10:54 pm
Via two fortuitous moods I now have a Legendary Gem Cutter and a Legendary Gem Setter.


Now if only I had gems in any meaningful quantity...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BornInATrailer on August 09, 2011, 03:47:32 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on August 09, 2011, 12:25:21 pm
You could always do like I did. I modded plant oil into furnace fuel. :P

I'm new here, so I'll ask...  is modding in bio-diesel Dorfy, filthy-hippy-Elfish or some unspeakable hybrid of both?  Does the fact that, while eco-friendly, this both ultimately creates a new way to burn plants and likely offends Elves make it ultimately solidly Dwarven?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jc6036 on August 09, 2011, 06:59:56 pm
Its not eco friendly. He would still be raping the land for plants, thus pissing hippies off even further.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shootandrun on August 09, 2011, 08:26:40 pm
So apparently there is a deadly syndrome in the lower levels of my fortress killing people, and I did'nt notice it at all because of my five butchers killing dozens and dozens of baby cave crocs (you know, after a while you just stop reading...).

Right now, 50 dorfs are dead, 20 or so are about to die and 40 or so might die anyway (there's infected pus between them and the living areas of the lower levels, which contain the food and drink stockpiles, and I'm not about to let any of these in the upper levels). At least my isolation system prevented the infection from spreading to the upper levels (important industries, major farms, half of the military...).

Oh well. I'll put all the survivors of the lower levels in the cavern bunkers and flood the whole damn thing with magma, which will then start a forest fire in the caverns and finally make the 3rd caverns completely inhabitable.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on August 09, 2011, 08:57:31 pm
Quote from: BornInATrailer on August 09, 2011, 03:47:32 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on August 09, 2011, 12:25:21 pm
You could always do like I did. I modded plant oil into furnace fuel. :P

I'm new here, so I'll ask...  is modding in bio-diesel Dorfy, filthy-hippy-Elfish or some unspeakable hybrid of both?  Does the fact that, while eco-friendly, this both ultimately creates a new way to burn plants and likely offends Elves make it ultimately solidly Dwarven?

Also, understand that in the long run there really are three sources of power available to you for mechanics and smelting: Wind and water (for mechanics) and geothermal for smelting.

The trick to avoiding being an Elf is to make everything possible out of wood.

Including the bridge thatyou launch Elves off of into a pool of magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on August 10, 2011, 05:02:40 am
Quote from: BornInATrailer on August 09, 2011, 03:47:32 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on August 09, 2011, 12:25:21 pm
You could always do like I did. I modded plant oil into furnace fuel. :P

I'm new here, so I'll ask...  is modding in bio-diesel Dorfy, filthy-hippy-Elfish or some unspeakable hybrid of both?  Does the fact that, while eco-friendly, this both ultimately creates a new way to burn plants and likely offends Elves make it ultimately solidly Dwarven?
Why even ask? A person who changes his plans and ideas based on Elven opinions is not a Dwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haedrian on August 10, 2011, 05:17:51 am
Had a 40 population fort. The water froze as usual. The booze ran out. The containers ran out too, though there's a ton of food.

Everyone is now dying of thirst. Then the caravan came! However I told them earlier to bring llama cages (^_^) and metal bars. So there's no booze.

Population is now 7. Lets see how long this takes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on August 10, 2011, 01:33:15 pm
Strike the earth anyway, what's the worst that could happen?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWdeV on August 10, 2011, 02:17:57 pm
Yeah, it couldn't get any worse. ;)


Anyway. Two of my war elephants keep following their owners and won't go towards the pasture I've assigned them to. :/ Would be a bit of a waste to have them starve.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ShadowBroker on August 10, 2011, 04:47:16 pm
i was making a pretty standard pitfall to break anyone knocking on my door, when i designated my miners to channel out multiple layers at once. instead of clearing a floor at a time, theyrandomly dug out untill i got the message that the cavern had collapsed, killing them both :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Theifofdreams on August 11, 2011, 01:59:21 am
Hiding from a goblin siege behind my walls. The first one got bored and wandered off, but a second one showed up just now.
Also exploring the caverns, and trying to figure out the best way to safely exploit them for every last scrap of resources I can get my hands on.
There are hundreds of precious gems coating the walls, and thick veins of minerals abound...
But I have no military, and no access to magma to simply flood the caves. Oh well. I'll do this dwarfy. (IE: needlessly overly complicated, excessively vague, and incredibly dangerous)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haedrian on August 11, 2011, 07:10:56 am
Had a very very good wep/arm smith (I like starting one dwarf as proficient). The mayor demanded silver items.

Due to the mass producing preparing for fights, the item kinda got buried so it was never created. No chains around. The Captain of the Guard is an expert fighter.

3 whacks with a -copper pick- and it embeds in my smith's head and kills him.

Justice...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxy15 on August 11, 2011, 07:15:11 am
Quote from: Haedrian on August 11, 2011, 07:10:56 am
Had a very very good wep/arm smith (I like starting one dwarf as proficient). The mayor demanded silver items.

Due to the mass producing preparing for fights, the item kinda got buried so it was never created. No chains around. The Captain of the Guard is an expert fighter.

3 whacks with a -copper pick- and it embeds in my smith's head and kills him.

Justice...
Picks are deadly weapons. Give your CotG's training weapons.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWdeV on August 11, 2011, 07:19:58 am
Major bummer. But hey, if you're making weapons and silver is demanded, why not make silver weapons? A silver hammer is pretty nice.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haedrian on August 11, 2011, 07:34:30 am
But silver isn't very good when I have access to steel. I'm making silver furnishings instead and shoving them into his room so he shuts up. Might do some bolts too...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on August 11, 2011, 08:38:11 am
Quote from: Haedrian on August 11, 2011, 07:34:30 am
But silver isn't very good when I have access to steel. I'm making silver furnishings instead and shoving them into his room so he shuts up. Might do some bolts too...

Silver warhammers beat steel warhammers hands-down.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haedrian on August 11, 2011, 08:44:31 am
Oh right since its to do with mass. Same for maces I guess yes?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Togre on August 11, 2011, 08:46:50 am
Fey mood.  Dwarf claims the bowery.  Well, that's nice.  Something more useful than an artifact earing.  Nope--artifact bow.  Next time stay in and make some artifact arrows while you're at it, Urist Mcdouche.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxy15 on August 11, 2011, 08:48:09 am
Steel has the same density as iron, which sucks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 11, 2011, 08:51:13 am
Quote from: Togre on August 11, 2011, 08:46:50 am
Fey mood.  Dwarf claims the bowery.  Well, that's nice.  Something more useful than an artifact earing.  Nope--artifact bow.  Next time stay in and make some artifact arrows while you're at it, Urist Mcdouche.

At least you can put that in a weapon trap and have people admire it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxy15 on August 11, 2011, 08:53:27 am
Quote from: Togre on August 11, 2011, 08:46:50 am
Fey mood.  Dwarf claims the bowery.  Well, that's nice.  Something more useful than an artifact earing.  Nope--artifact bow.  Next time stay in and make some artifact arrows while you're at it, Urist Mcdouche.
Get some arrows from the hippies.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on August 11, 2011, 09:41:35 am
Oh cockdammit. I half-equipped a decent looking person (mighty and heals quick, likes whips and gauntlets) as Mcom and wanted to get her to train so I told her to whack a giant capybara because my hunter never had any trouble with them. She walks into the herd, follows one to and fro with the Benny Hill tune on the background, it turns around, savages her, and leaves pale and with only one foot left.

She's now in my little hospital but the river is frozen and I hadn't yet filled my cistern (I wanted it smooth first) so now no-one can give her water or wash her wounds. Goody. Luckily it's spring so the river should thaw relatively soon. I did build a small wallpost of ice in the hospital but I don't know how to melt it because apparently it's sub-zero in -5. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gizogin on August 11, 2011, 10:12:25 am
My facepalm moment came when I realized that I was actually going "yup, I've been there before," to pretty much all of these.  Also, whenever I forget that dwarves will, when presented with two options, invariably choose the one that leads to disaster.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on August 11, 2011, 10:18:42 am
The river thawed! Yaaay. Oh, there was someone on it? Whoops. A migrant and I'm still in the stage of "sure, more migrants, come on in" so I was kinda worried. Luckily he swam towards the entrance of my waterworks and he passed the floodgate quickly.

 I thought he'd be able to just walk out (which would have made my industrial section a bit wet but fie to that) but instead he got flushed from river level (-1) to cistern level (-10). Remarkably he survived the smack and he was dragged up in no time (by the HM! weaponsmith from the same wave) and is now in hospital.

Luckily my CMD is readily available. Once he's finished his break.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: erissian on August 11, 2011, 03:08:04 pm
Quote from: FrisianDude on August 11, 2011, 09:41:35 am
I did build a small wallpost of ice in the hospital but I don't know how to melt it because apparently it's sub-zero in -5. :(

Constructions don't melt or burn.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on August 11, 2011, 04:07:41 pm
Figures. Still, was worth a try.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aiyon on August 11, 2011, 07:12:26 pm
When my dwarf in adventure mode, Vladimir Dentovski (inside joke with a friend), fought his way through a desert and a mountain range to bring an outlaw to justice, taking no damage... only for the outlaw to cut him down before he could swing his sword. *facedesk*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Excedion on August 11, 2011, 07:31:06 pm
Quote from: Togre on August 11, 2011, 08:46:50 am
Fey mood.  Dwarf claims the bowery.  Well, that's nice.  Something more useful than an artifact earing.  Nope--artifact bow.  Next time stay in and make some artifact arrows while you're at it, Urist Mcdouche.

At least its not an artifact fungiwood blowgun. Which is worse since you cant buy blowdarts :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on August 11, 2011, 07:42:23 pm
Quote from: Excedion on August 11, 2011, 07:31:06 pm
Quote from: Togre on August 11, 2011, 08:46:50 am
Fey mood.  Dwarf claims the bowery.  Well, that's nice.  Something more useful than an artifact earing.  Nope--artifact bow.  Next time stay in and make some artifact arrows while you're at it, Urist Mcdouche.

At least its not an artifact fungiwood blowgun. Which is worse since you cant buy blowdarts :(
I just had that! GRAH AND I DIDN'T EVEN GET A LEGENDARY OUT OF IT.

He spent ages gathering ingredients too, the bastard.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZhangC1459 on August 12, 2011, 02:14:05 am
I didn't check my channeling designations and ended up channeling a lava tube right to my entrance while the humies were trading, and I didn't notice because I was watching dwarves mine out new living quarters until death notifications popped up.  much !!FUN!! was had.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GreenNight on August 12, 2011, 05:12:29 am
I discovered that Dwarf Therapist exists for Linux.

Also, I did bad channeling/digging towards an aquifer and lost a legendary miner, he could go down the channel, but not up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aiyon on August 12, 2011, 09:15:17 am
Quote from: Niccolo on August 11, 2011, 07:42:23 pm
Quote from: Excedion on August 11, 2011, 07:31:06 pm
Quote from: Togre on August 11, 2011, 08:46:50 am
Fey mood.  Dwarf claims the bowery.  Well, that's nice.  Something more useful than an artifact earing.  Nope--artifact bow.  Next time stay in and make some artifact arrows while you're at it, Urist Mcdouche.

At least its not an artifact fungiwood blowgun. Which is worse since you cant buy blowdarts :(
I just had that! GRAH AND I DIDN'T EVEN GET A LEGENDARY OUT OF IT.

He spent ages gathering ingredients too, the bastard.

I had a mason creature a legendary sword using my fortress' adamantite stocks... he used it to kill off the fortress then suicided.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haedrian on August 12, 2011, 10:40:44 am
In my latest fort I decided to build a road in the air, so traders would go up the 5 levels or so to my fortress in an awesome manner.

First I lost 7 dwarves when I built a bridge  and tried to continue the constructions - the game notes that the area can be built, but it causes a cavein immediatly - and dwarves sometimes get shoved off the edge for some reason (pressure differences?).

One of the more stupid deaths was when a piece fell, went down 4 stories through the fort and hit a dwarf who was walking underneath trying to engrave an empty room (that's unlucky).

Anyway, part of this awesome road was the barracks in the sky. Because of the silly way they build walls it had no corners. My epic dwarf was sparring, dodged - dodged out of the corner, fell 5 stories and died.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Table Turning on August 12, 2011, 01:51:31 pm
I forgot to wall off my pasture, the result was a bunch of badgers throwing a hissy-fit and killing all of my chickens.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: thor82 on August 13, 2011, 12:21:38 pm
Quote from: Table Turning on August 12, 2011, 01:51:31 pm
I forgot to wall off my pasture, the result was a bunch of badgers throwing a hissy-fit and killing all of my chickens.
wait, chicken must be assigned to the pasture area?!


i also contribute to the thread:
i suggested the game to one of my friends, he contacts me 2 days later stating that the game is too difficult and he stopped when he had to embark the dwarves
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on August 13, 2011, 01:09:10 pm
Quote from: thor82 on August 13, 2011, 12:21:38 pm
Quote from: Table Turning on August 12, 2011, 01:51:31 pm
I forgot to wall off my pasture, the result was a bunch of badgers throwing a hissy-fit and killing all of my chickens.
wait, chicken must be assigned to the pasture area?!

I don't think so. I always set up my nest boxes in my dining and/or food storage area and my chickens seem to be fine hanging out there. Just be sure the room's big enough they don't end up attacking each other.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on August 13, 2011, 09:39:09 pm
Quote from: thor82 on August 13, 2011, 12:21:38 pm
wait, chicken must be assigned to the pasture area?!

Nope. It just makes keeping the bloody things in one place easier. It also apparently increases your FPS as there are fewer pathing calculations to do, but if that's confirmed or not I don't know.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 13, 2011, 10:07:03 pm
Quote from: Niccolo on August 13, 2011, 09:39:09 pm
Quote from: thor82 on August 13, 2011, 12:21:38 pm
wait, chicken must be assigned to the pasture area?!

Nope. It just makes keeping the bloody things in one place easier. It also apparently increases your FPS as there are fewer pathing calculations to do, but if that's confirmed or not I don't know.

Indeed it is, especially if you have a lot of very small pastures. It works for the same reason that chaining or pitting animals works.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on August 14, 2011, 06:49:31 am
Hmm, good idea.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: erissian on August 14, 2011, 08:37:44 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on August 13, 2011, 10:07:03 pm
Quote from: Niccolo on August 13, 2011, 09:39:09 pm
Quote from: thor82 on August 13, 2011, 12:21:38 pm
wait, chicken must be assigned to the pasture area?!

Nope. It just makes keeping the bloody things in one place easier. It also apparently increases your FPS as there are fewer pathing calculations to do, but if that's confirmed or not I don't know.

Indeed it is, especially if you have a lot of very small pastures. It works for the same reason that chaining or pitting animals works.

I usually just have a gigantic pasture overlapping my common area for my non-grazing non-butcherable animals. I keep whatever species of fowl I've chosen to breed in a second, more reasonably sized pasture with access to nest boxes.

At any rate, pastures beat pits in that cats don't feel compelled to escape them en masse at the first opportunity.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on August 14, 2011, 08:41:30 pm
Quote from: erissian on August 14, 2011, 08:37:44 pm
At any rate, pastures beat pits in that cats don't feel compelled to escape them en masse at the first opportunity.

However, pits quite nicely hold magma without it filling your entire fortress with fire.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dei on August 14, 2011, 10:37:47 pm
My most recent facepalm moment was not realizing after two years of playing Dwarf Fortress and reading the trap design article a couple dozen times that stone-fall, weapon, and cage traps do not need to be hooked up to levers or pressure plates. While writing this post I made sure to double-check the same line of text five times.

I think it's because I'm blonde.

Also.

Quote from: Niccolo on August 14, 2011, 08:41:30 pm
Quote from: erissian on August 14, 2011, 08:37:44 pm
At any rate, pastures beat pits in that cats don't feel compelled to escape them en masse at the first opportunity.

However, pits quite nicely hold magma without it filling your entire fortress with fire.

1.Dig pit.
2.Designate pasture in pit.
3. ????
4. PROFIT!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TomTheDwarf on August 15, 2011, 12:19:21 am
when i found out that without water and/or beer, dwarves die. en mass. (this happened on my first fortress)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JasonMel on August 15, 2011, 04:52:05 am
Took me a while to realize that my first mayor was not demanding that the fortress produce a billion items.

"WTF? How in the hell...? This game is insane. (Time passes...) Wait, is that a typo?" *Googles it* ... *FACEPALM*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on August 15, 2011, 07:02:27 am
God DAMN Giant Capybaras are bitches. They lob off limbs as if it's no trouble. Hunters have no problem with them but a squad of marksdwarfs loses hands, feet and even entire arms. Even the very first military engagement in this fortress cost my Militia Commander her foot. (And she is now legendary crutchwalker.) Absolutely ridiculous. Oddly enough however, I've yet to lose a single Dwarf. Even to bleeding. But I imagine losing an entire arm causes more bleeding then losing the hand. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BornInATrailer on August 15, 2011, 08:51:17 am
The years that my unconscious mechanic languished in bed (in his bedroom) being fed and watered but never with a diagnosis and never taken to the nicely appointed hospital.. before I looked up how to fix that and simply deconstructed the bed.  Duh.

And then how, "armed" with this new knowledge, I did the same thing to an injured hammerdorf twice in a row.  Only after he succumbed to his wounds did I realize that one of the draw bridges linking the trap hall/barracks/emergency food & drink with the rest of the fortress was up.  That was probably a confusing and awful way to go.  Time to put away my pig tail cloth jump to conclusions mat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PwndJa on August 16, 2011, 05:40:12 am
Built a cave-in trap near the entrance to my fort consisting of 10-15 single tiles that could fall independantly of eachother. When the time came I sent Urist McRecentlyImmigratedWithNoSkills to one of the many pressure plates. The single tile then fell 8 z-levels through my fort and landed on my "Dungeon Master" who was sleeping in his bed. I laughed so hard I had to order the kill everything lever pulled and the fortress was promptly encased in obsidian.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: acetech09 on August 17, 2011, 01:21:57 am
As a dwarven caravan arrives, a Giantess also arrives. First I thought it the notify was for a titan... but sighed a relief when I saw it was only a giantess, but it did happen to spawn right next to the caravan. I thought it would make quick work of the caravan and then proceed into my fort, which at this point does not have any armored military (manager's queue has sets of iron weapons down the line a bit), so I started to gear up the best army I could.

I went up to the surface again to see how badly the caravan was doing... but the giant was DEAD! It got killed in a 1on1 against a elite wrestler with the caravan...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on August 17, 2011, 05:48:36 am
Spring, so my river thawed. The Dwarfs walking on it fell in. Two adults. One of them was a mother and she was so thirsty from her wild-water adventure that she went for some booze instead of, you know, grabbing her baby. The baby drowned, the two adults got out because I had dug an extra staircase (and opened up some floodgates but they didn't swim there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on August 17, 2011, 02:54:44 pm
I just accidentally mined the wrong tile in a vein of a certain awesome metal we all know...  tapping through the side into the magma sea.

Oops.

It didn't go well with three legendary miners in there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jakob on August 18, 2011, 04:21:45 am
I hit damp stone while starting a fortress and had my miners dig a channel to dig the ponds into a chasm.
After a hour they finally did it and I notice all of my dwarfs are suddenly dying.
After some investigation I realized they are all trying to drink water and are falling in the channel some how and landing five hundred feet in my carp filled river.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 19, 2011, 12:03:49 am
So, I'm merrily starting a fort, and I get to the point where my first caravan shows up. Early autumn, all of the water on the map froze. All of the sudden, 12 dwarves die of thirst.

I forgot to set up a still. *facepalm*

The spiral didn't even get a chance to start before everyone died. Caravan brought barrels of blood, but no booze. *facepalm again*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on August 19, 2011, 11:56:02 am
Tiny facepalm.
Brought a woodcutter dwarf to an embark with no trees.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WhiteSpear on August 19, 2011, 06:23:57 pm
First time poster, here!
Just spent a long time setting up a new embark, carefully deciding every minute detail, and lovingly naming my dwarves. I had the perfect place lined up. Once I was satisfied, I hit "embark!"

Within 12 seconds, 2 of my dwarves were dead, and a 3rd was running for his little bearded life. A friendly alligator had popped out of the river to say hello.
I facepalmed, then told the rest of my dwarves to haul the bloody limbs away from the wagon.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 19, 2011, 06:27:04 pm
Quote from: WhiteSpear on August 19, 2011, 06:23:57 pm
First time poster, here!
Just spent a long time setting up a new embark, carefully deciding every minute detail, and lovingly naming my dwarves. I had the perfect place lined up. Once I was satisfied, I hit "embark!"

Within 12 seconds, 2 of my dwarves were dead, and a 3rd was running for his little bearded life. A friendly alligator had popped out of the river to say hello.
I facepalmed, then told the rest of my dwarves to haul the bloody limbs away from the wagon.

Welcome! Sounds like you're already getting some !!FUN!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on August 19, 2011, 06:33:37 pm
Quote from: WhiteSpear on August 19, 2011, 06:23:57 pm
Within 12 seconds, 2 of my dwarves were dead, and a 3rd was running for his little bearded life. A friendly alligator had popped out of the river to say hello.
I facepalmed, then told the rest of my dwarves to haul the bloody limbs away from the wagon.

That sounds exactly like how a lot of people's first embark goes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AlBravo on August 19, 2011, 06:42:50 pm
Quote from: FrisianDude on August 15, 2011, 07:02:27 am
God DAMN Giant Capybaras are bitches. They lob off limbs as if it's no trouble. Hunters have no problem with them but a squad of marksdwarfs loses hands, feet and even entire arms. Even the very first military engagement in this fortress cost my Militia Commander her foot. (And she is now legendary crutchwalker.) Absolutely ridiculous. Oddly enough however, I've yet to lose a single Dwarf. Even to bleeding. But I imagine losing an entire arm causes more bleeding then losing the hand. :(

I second this.  2 feet and 1 hand from 3 dwarves on my first combat for this fort.  Time to file down the teeth on these beasts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WhiteSpear on August 19, 2011, 06:52:56 pm
Quote from: Niccolo on August 19, 2011, 06:33:37 pm
Quote from: WhiteSpear on August 19, 2011, 06:23:57 pm
Within 12 seconds, 2 of my dwarves were dead, and a 3rd was running for his little bearded life. A friendly alligator had popped out of the river to say hello.
I facepalmed, then told the rest of my dwarves to haul the bloody limbs away from the wagon.

That sounds exactly like how a lot of people's first embark goes.

Man, this game is awesome.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on August 20, 2011, 04:41:52 am

Quote from: Niccolo on August 19, 2011, 06:33:37 pm
Quote from: WhiteSpear on August 19, 2011, 06:23:57 pm
Within 12 seconds, 2 of my dwarves were dead, and a 3rd was running for his little bearded life. A friendly alligator had popped out of the river to say hello.
I facepalmed, then told the rest of my dwarves to haul the bloody limbs away from the wagon.

That sounds exactly like how a lot of people's first embark goes.

<- never had that in my first times. My dwarves died to murky pool floods and starvation. That is my facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on August 20, 2011, 06:28:35 am
Quote from: Tiruin on August 20, 2011, 04:41:52 am
<- never had that in my first times. My dwarves died to murky pool floods and starvation. That is my facepalm.

Well, the letter that's involved is different, I guess - but they all end up the same way. A whole lot of death and disappointment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on August 20, 2011, 07:57:42 am
Fuuuu one of my miners, Thob Cugganber, digged a small bit out and apparently that was wet. He got wet and because it's cold he was encased in ice immediately. Ded. He was unbelievably strong and tough and had SEVEN friends.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BeforeLifer on August 20, 2011, 11:34:09 am
While getting attacked by attack by a panda when out for a drink one of my woodcutters had his leg torn to sherds as well as losing one of his hands>.>
Then my starting doctor who had almsot no empathy bascily gave him a crutch and thats it. At least he slashed the pandas leg to pieces with a single Slash.
Heres a pic of the insicent of very poor quaility.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: somebody64 on August 21, 2011, 03:20:59 pm
have walls, drawbridge, and ponds protect my fortress entrance

fort becomes arguably my most successful ever

under siege, thinks I'm safe

forgets ponds freeze for very brief time in winter

FUN
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on August 21, 2011, 03:23:03 pm
A good portion of my fort is outdoors. No roof.
A goblin seige comes.
Riding giant bats.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on August 21, 2011, 03:29:19 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on August 21, 2011, 03:23:03 pm
A good portion of my fort is outdoors. No roof.
A goblin seige comes.
Riding giant bats.

Oh. Man. U screwed, dude. Hope they don't realize they can get in. Sometimes they just don't path over the walls.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on August 21, 2011, 06:12:33 pm
Quote from: Flaede on August 21, 2011, 03:29:19 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on August 21, 2011, 03:23:03 pm
A good portion of my fort is outdoors. No roof.
A goblin seige comes.
Riding giant bats.

Oh. Man. U screwed, dude. Hope they don't realize they can get in. Sometimes they just don't path over the walls.
They eventually left, flying right over my fort and scaring the jobs off half my dwarves before exiting the map.
Maybe they don't look down?

EDIT: A flying FB flew up my well, knocked three or four dwarves down to their deaths, and killed two more before an axedwarf chopped it in the head.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: S3Cs4uN 8 on August 23, 2011, 08:47:49 am
Building a Magma trap at entrance to fort to catch unsuspecting gobbos/elves forget to put in a way to drain said magma
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Komra on August 23, 2011, 06:56:19 pm
I'd set up a burrow for a lever-control dwarf to be stationed in. this controlled the master bridge sealing system that would totally seal in the fortress. The dwarf was later unassigned from the burrow, pending arrangements to keep him sane in there. Ten a seige occured, and they swarmed in past some meager traps that were still in construction. 120 dorfs dead. Fortunately, the sheer number of clothing bits left over allowed a reclaim fortress to have a thriving economy from the beginning! (once you got rid of the random forgotten beasts with two or three embarks of swordsdwarves)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on August 24, 2011, 01:03:36 pm
May or may not be a failure of competence, but still, I'm amazed/ashamed. In my most recent embark, I did some searching with dfreveal, and discovered that the magma sea is down on z-level -58. I want to setup my magma forges/obsidian farm on z-level -15, fed by a pump stack from the magma sea. This comes out to a 43 z-level difference, requiring 3 DWRs, 43 pumps, and a fuckuva lot of scaffolding for punching through the caverns. No fear, dwarven engineering will prevail, my body is ready, etc. I make plans to do it in a 4-phase operation; punch through one cavern and to the next, punch through that cavern, punch down to the magma, then install all the pumps and get them turning. In the middle of phase 2, while I was mining out everything I could see in that cavern, one of my dwarves discovered a magma pipe on z-level -40. 18 z-levels higher than I was planning, I could save 19 pumps and a helluva lot of work. If only I'd known about it earlier, I could have planned for it. As it stands, I'll continue with the original plan. I've got everything dug out for the reactors, most of the pump stack, all I need to do now is finish punching down and get the magma going.

Edit: Not that it matters; for whatever reason this game keeps crashing in late summer, so I'll just let it die and try another world.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWdeV on August 25, 2011, 12:43:52 pm
Through rigorous and wholly involuntary testing I have come to the conclusion that checking the inventory of my recuperating miners causes the game to crash.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Theif on August 25, 2011, 03:59:13 pm
I have quite a few facepalms since I just starting playing less than a month ago.

Fort One I flooded partly since I did not know the joy of pull the lever to close the flood gate. I then was putting a well down in my magma workshops for the hell of it and did not know the the water would work like real water which would cause it to flood half of my supply rooms and wash away all my ores.

Fort two, Cyclopes shows up and I think now big deal since I have ten dwarves in full iron and a few traps in front of my fort. So I thought lets have my guys beat him up after he goes through the traps, so I put them right behind the traps. I then waited, and waited, Then I found out that he got into my base since I dug up so many walls to get all that iron. The cyclopes only killed one dwarf, the dwarf that EVERYONE else likes. You know what happens from there.

Fort three my first above ground , a small face palm since I almost forgot to make anything to trade with the first merchants and I almost forgot to make a trade depot. Next I tried to move a rive to come in and out of the fort for my hospitable and fishingdwarves, I channeled out one z level to low which cause it to fill the lower z level and then began to fill the one above it, I was lucky enough to see that it was doing this pretty earlier one so I had my guys make a wall to block off the river which two of my dwaves were on the wrong side of this wall. These two guys tried to swim up but ended up drowning, I lost my broker and some random dwarf. Then a FB shows up in one of the caverns, so I walled off the cavern since I had not military yet. He goes away and then shows make up in my stair case since they did not finish the wall ever.

Current fort another above ground fort, Well the only thing I face palmed about yet is the stupid buzzards will never stop bothering me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on August 25, 2011, 05:19:20 pm
Quote from: AWdeV on August 25, 2011, 12:43:52 pm
Through rigorous and wholly involuntary testing I have come to the conclusion that checking the inventory of my recuperating miners causes the game to crash.

Maybe it has to do with the amount of blood in it. Because I tried to check the inventory of some wild and annoying animal (or maybe one of my war-beasties, don't recall) and it crashed then too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shootandrun on August 25, 2011, 05:50:26 pm
So, after a little designation error, I kind of killed twelve dwarfs and smashed the whole food stockpile with about sixteen z-levels of rock.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on August 25, 2011, 06:19:00 pm
Quote from: Shootandrun on August 25, 2011, 05:50:26 pm
So, after a little designation error, I kind of killed twelve dwarfs and smashed the whole food stockpile with about sixteen z-levels of rock.
Your avatar looks impressed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Malarauko on August 25, 2011, 08:22:13 pm
Probably with one of my first forts when a troll broke a door down and everyone got massacred by goblins. I only found out about building destroyers later.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on August 25, 2011, 08:40:19 pm
Mine'd be the time I accidentally released a pack of angry badgers into the middle of my fortress.

That was... well, not so good.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NewsMuffin on August 26, 2011, 06:07:34 am
My Craftsdwarf has poor creativity, while being incredibly creative.
Seriously, it says she has poor creativity in her mental stats section, but incredible creativity in her personality section.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ross Vernal on August 26, 2011, 02:19:15 pm
"Wait, you can assign dorfs to build something entirely out of one material instead of hitting "accept" 10 times?!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Malarauko on August 26, 2011, 03:28:36 pm
Quote from: Ross Vernal on August 26, 2011, 02:19:15 pm
"Wait, you can assign dorfs to build something entirely out of one material instead of hitting "accept" 10 times?!"
Yeah this after making 1000 pieces of wall for my above ground defences.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kaleb702 Games on August 26, 2011, 06:10:41 pm
"Wait... If you use 2 floodgates you DON'T accidentally flood your place by filling it with river water?"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: i2amroy on August 27, 2011, 12:33:26 am
Using the 'record' feature to designate out a large chunk of my rooms only to realize I made a mistake halfway through, but not realizing it until after I reused the feature to designate 3/4's of my fortress.

Also realizing that I could use the 'record' and 'play' features in the trading menu for item selection. Much easier to hit ctrl+p 50 times then to hit down+enter 3000 times to select all of my crafts for trading but not the bins that they are in.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: crekit on August 28, 2011, 12:03:23 am
If you designate a square for mining below a square for channeling, the dorf will channel down and then remove the ramp, locking himself in.

Also, dorfs who are 'hunting for small animals' cannot build ramps.

(I only knew about this because I hit v or whatever, and saw someone hunting for vermin. I had just received an imagrant trapper [as in, like 15 of them], but didn't have any traps so I investigated.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shurhaian on August 28, 2011, 01:58:23 am
Quote from: crekit on August 28, 2011, 12:03:23 am
If you designate a square for mining below a square for channeling, the dorf will channel down and then remove the ramp, locking himself in.

Also, dorfs who are 'hunting for small animals' cannot build ramps.

(I only knew about this because I hit v or whatever, and saw someone hunting for vermin. I had just received an imagrant trapper [as in, like 15 of them], but didn't have any traps so I investigated.)

Let this be a lesson: "Hunting for small vermin" is never something you want to see. Trapping is handled by differently-named jobs (capturing live animal? Can't recall offhand). Hunting for vermin only ever means that the dwarf is starving and trying to find a meal.

As for my own... hmm. Seeing the merchants come in to the depot, moving goods, noting that the trader was on break, intending to watch for it to end (or free the depot for trading by anyone if the merchants gave a departure warning), and going off on a grand construction project and completely missing the merchants getting ready to go and leaving might qualify. I was short of booze, too...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Valdrax on August 28, 2011, 03:19:09 am
Quote from: i2amroy on August 27, 2011, 12:33:26 am
Also realizing that I could use the 'record' and 'play' features in the trading menu for item selection. Much easier to hit ctrl+p 50 times then to hit down+enter 3000 times to select all of my crafts for trading but not the bins that they are in.

This thread is a gold mine of ways to improve your play and dent your nose.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CrundleHorn on August 28, 2011, 10:30:36 am
Damn it, I left the upward spike traps on again. THC + DF=fail
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sirdanilot on August 29, 2011, 04:47:08 pm
I didn't bother to read the wiki on how to mass pit my caged animals for my soldiers to shoot at, and just designated a pit zone... it resulted in much Fun, as well as the loss of one of my legendary miners.

Now I have a nice system with hatch covers on my animal stockpile in place, so that animals and goblins can be pitted safely.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joshua IX on August 29, 2011, 07:31:31 pm
I just accidentally crushed my legendary axedwarf under a drawbridge because he chased a crundle in a bout of zealotry. He was wearing full masterwork steel, and an artifact cotton candy helm, bearing an artifact steel and diamond axe.

I could cry >.<

My best armoursmith went insane as a result...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sirdanilot on August 29, 2011, 08:31:28 pm
I do hope he didn't die in vain; was the crundle crushed as well? :)

Oh, another facepalm moment I had today: I killed my entire war dog population in a danger room, because I didn't think about assigning them to a pasture...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rhesusmacabre on August 30, 2011, 03:32:36 am
A bit spoilery this one.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JTH on August 30, 2011, 05:36:03 am
I started a new fort after losing my previous one to a botched save (my computer just loves to crash at the worst times). Since I had read a bit from Weaver's rather short bid with Pony Fortress: Dying Is Magic, I decided I'd try my hand at it. I love it so hard. I decided to embark in a Pocket Region to save FPS and it's running so fast I can barely keep track of the seasons. I started with a "Rainbow Pony" civilization (which means that it contains all pony species) and I'm having a ball reading their status screens. There's Pegasi, Unicorns, Vampire Ponies, ponies with a tentacle instead of a unicorn horn, and even SPIDER PONIES with eight legs that shoot webbing (making enough socks for them is a bitch). Bonus points to the modder who made this since Pegasi and Vampires can actually fly. That surprised me when a caravan was pelted with wooden arrows as a group of diomedian ponies swooped down and raped them.

Strangely, I seem to have isolated myself from all humans, elves, and dwarves, leaving only two other pony civilizations to trade with and one to assault me. At one point two years in, I had three waves of thieves and four ambushes all at the same time. Thankfully, I have four engineers who all made a bunch of cage traps. I'll have to work on military soon, but I like to have at least sixty or so civvies before going for the old steel and iron. Alas, recent events point that I will soon have to take a more active role in my fort's defense.

I'm still working on finding some good weapon ore and am preparing some able bodies to scour the caverns in search of magma. It's ironic, my previous fortress' biggest problem was lack of trees. It had everything from a volcano to ample metal ores, but the lack of trees made steel-making and beds an utter nightmare. Now that I've embarked in a foresty mountain, I have very little ore, no magma, but plenty of wood for all my wood needs. Perhaps the Ponite the ambush ponies left me will fulfill that role.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tibbz2 on August 30, 2011, 07:33:13 am
Trying to even play this game D:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joshua IX on August 30, 2011, 05:31:44 pm
Quote from: sirdanilot on August 29, 2011, 08:31:28 pm
I do hope he didn't die in vain; was the crundle crushed as well? :)

Thankfully the crundle was in a million pieces a fraction before the bridge came down. Who knows what damage it could have wrecked against my fortress /rolleyes  :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on September 01, 2011, 02:56:59 am
Quote from: Tibbz2 on August 30, 2011, 07:33:13 am
Trying to even play this game D:

That is a good facepalm.  ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Quantumtroll on September 01, 2011, 03:43:52 am
Two dudes, my legendary miner/bookkeeper/broker and a legendary mechanic were caught by a siege in a dragon-cave under construction.  Fortunately they were safe, and I could supply them with food and booze through the chute that was going to be the dragon-feeding hole of despair.  Since they had nothing better to do, I set them to smooth the cave.

On the level above, I have a drowning-tunnel, which I used to good effect, drowning two large squads of gobbo's.  Looking to avoid rotting corpses in my tunnel, I hit the "flush" lever, which sends all the water and junk into the dragon cave, which contains a large conical drain that leads to some pipes that lead to the caverns.  The waterfall would cheer up my poor stuck dwarves, I thought. 

And it did!  Until my mechanic got thirsty and decided to walk through the waterfall to the booze barrel on the other side of the room.  He slipped on the wet rock and was quickly swept into the drain. FACEPALM!! Down he went, through about half the first pipe before gaining control of himself and starting swimming back.  He had no swimming skill, but even against the current he made it back and almost touched the pipe opening.  But alas, he struggled in vain.  His friend in captivity would never see his return. 

A slab will be mounted in the memorial hall, because I'm not letting anyone else go into that drain. This is the third dwarven death attributable to that structure, and we don't need any more. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrAnderson on September 01, 2011, 04:53:27 am
Quote from: Quantumtroll on September 01, 2011, 03:43:52 am
This is the third dwarven death attributable to that structure, and we don't need any will have many more.
fixed that for ya!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Allagon on September 01, 2011, 12:53:01 pm
When I was building Archery Ranges quickly to train, and didn't realize I had made them out of gold bars.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Monkeyfacedprickleback on September 01, 2011, 01:09:59 pm
Using k I realized that all the "gold" I had spent the last two game year mining out was limonite... Which be great if i didn't already ahve a massive magnetite stockpile.   -_-#
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: milaga on September 01, 2011, 01:14:35 pm
Ugh, that reminds me of the time I went ahead and spent most of my wood supply making practice bolts because I had that huge limonite deposit I could always make coke out of. You make coke from limonite, right? I'll check the wiki later, just keep making those bolts, Urist.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Allagon on September 01, 2011, 02:19:56 pm
When I realized mechanisms were classified as furniture, and as such....I have tons of <=Limonite Mechanism=> of gems. >.>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Monkeyfacedprickleback on September 01, 2011, 03:16:52 pm
I think the biggest facepalm i had was when i made a trap to cave-in the floor/roof onto some gobbo invaders and it took out the goblin, and half the farm level underneath them, and the workshops beneath them and the the dormitory below that. I lost 17 dwarves to kill 8 goblins.
SUCCESS!

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on September 01, 2011, 07:26:24 pm
Quote from: EmeraldWind on July 22, 2011, 11:50:13 pm
Okay, this one is going to be done in character.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
It was really a series of rapid facepalms for me.

After these events, I decided to continue. The fort was getting better and the fixings were going good.

Then migrants show up, none of them had decent skills in anything so managing was mostly going to be a pain in the butt and I put the game down for a while. Like a month or so.

Today, I picked up the fort and managed every back to full working force. After a siege left, I let the dwarves outside to collect bodies for the 20+ ghost that were running around. This actually went without any problems.

I also have a dwarf named 007, he's a mason and I assigned to build a wall. I needed grazing lands for my animals that graze and wasn't going to get it with out a wall. The wall went well. Then 007 went on a mood. He was the only reason I have the door open, but I forgot which dwarf was doing the building. Well, after a bit I noticed and sent a second dwarf on task. THIS WAS MY MISTAKE. I thought the project would get done fast, but didn't pay attention to how much time past when nobody was working on the wall.

A vile force of darkness arrives. SHOO~T! The came blasting in with cross bows blazing and a herd of trolls. They got to my door so fast I was speechless. I had no time at all to retaliate. No time to turtle in either. Then I watch as a flood of dwarves come down the main hallway, see the goblins and start to try to go back. But this was like watching a 10 car pile-up try to avoid machine gun fire. The goblins continued to the living quarters and killed every dwarf they could find. Then they stayed down there checking out the rooms. But... my fort was still going. I check one dwarf. The replacement mason had sealed himself in the grazing area prior to the siege.

The trolls though went and started demolishing my legendary dining room. Though at first I was wondering what they were doing, the trolls formed an odd half rectangle around the tables and chairs and were standing a space away from anything. Then I notice the tables and chairs were breaking.

Then three trolls broke off of the fun and started to walk away. Here. I began to laugh my head off. I realized where they were going. My water reserves were just north of the dining room and connected to the brook on that floor. Hahaha. They busted down the door and the water came bursting out. Then the trolls took their time demolishing everything I built on that floor. Then they headed to the bedrooms and crypt. They start hanging out with the goblins... went water starts poring down in the floor. They can't get out because pressure from above was coming down. They backed away from the water, me laughing as they did. Then... my last dwarf died of dehydration. SHOO~T!

Though I did get one more laugh. I recently found out how to look up info on the wars in Legends Mode (that in itself a facepalm) and looked up the most recent siege. That's when I noticed the name of the war the goblins declared on my fort. "The War of Rapes" I laughed, because from my perspective that is what happened. The goblins overpowered me so often and met so little resistance due to the fact I was constantly trying to get the fort back in order from the first big mistake. A militia wasn't even slightly possible due lack of armor and weapons, which I was attempting to forge. But it all stemmed from that first mistake in my previous post. I needed one piece of wood to get the smelting process started and I blew that. From that point on I just couldn't get the fort quite back to full production due to other mistakes.

Well, at least this was an amusing experience with Dig Deeper Gold.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Table Turning on September 02, 2011, 04:31:29 am
Didn't know that invaders claim doors they enter so you can't lock them, got my shit slapped due to it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on September 02, 2011, 01:38:16 pm
Quote from: Table Turning on September 02, 2011, 04:31:29 am
Didn't know that invaders claim doors they enter so you can't lock them, got my shit slapped due to it.

Same thing to doors that get unlocked by enemies that can do that. It's actually worse than having the door ripped down, because you don't always notice the door has been tampered with.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Specter513 on September 02, 2011, 02:00:52 pm
Lowered drawbridge, which killed a guy, then trying to raise it at ambush, which trapped a third of my fort outside, which I then opened to have almost all of my militia die.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Valdrax on September 02, 2011, 05:48:43 pm
I constructed a three-level anti-goblin entrance. 
Level 1 -- two-part drawbridge to the depot, over the pit.
Level 2 -- archer fortifications over...
Level 3 -- the "goblin processing plant," an incomplete trap maze which is entered / exited through stairs before & after the level 1 drawbridge.

When the first ambush happened, I raised the bridges and fed the goblins through the plant to a waiting line of cage traps.  One of the goblins was killed by crossbow on the way.

...Hey, why is a diplomat down in the maze?  Where is my carefully selected, low demand, future mayor/baron?  Oh, I guess he's getting murdered since he's one of the few people not in the militia who is free to go pick up goblin socks since I forgot to exclude the goblin maze from my safe zone burrow.  *facepalm*

Cue tantrum spiral and a futile fight to rebuild critical buildings as my mechanic / architect goes on a tantrum spree of murder and vandalism, ending in him going berserk.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: warwizard on September 03, 2011, 11:54:09 am
Forgot to set the forbid items on death, though had the dwarves ignoring everything outside, that does not work on store owned items though, Migrant gets killed by a Roc, so Gem setter mom and baby are out to take ownership on something that migrant owned get killed by the roc, then the youngest daughter gets killed by same roc, while trying to store owned item, later the husband gets beaked by the Roc, also storing owned item, and then the eldest and last child follows in dad's footsteps and feeds the Roc's reputation.

Lots of Z levels and bodies scattered all over the place thwarted my attempts to find and forbid every last Xcave spider silk sockX,

 I eventually managed to kill the ROC and it's neighborly Dragon at the cost of another 10 dwarves. fortunately everybody is just passing aquaintences, only spotted one red arrow on 1 dwarf, so looks like no tantrum spiral this time. (no meeting rooms),
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Madventurer on September 03, 2011, 02:06:08 pm
Not really facepalm moment, but it was funny...
"Siege Engineer cancels dump item: Handling dangerous creature"
While taking a cat to Pen....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Allagon on September 03, 2011, 04:08:01 pm
^That happens to me a lot when I'm trying to milk goats. Wonder why.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yoink on September 03, 2011, 04:14:53 pm
Quote from: Lord Allagon on September 03, 2011, 04:08:01 pm
^That happens to me a lot when I'm trying to milk goats. Wonder why.

Probably accidentally took a male goat. :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: franti on September 04, 2011, 08:58:58 am
Anything with hooves will fuck your shit up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Allagon on September 04, 2011, 08:05:00 pm
Putting wooden menacing spikes instead of wooden spears in a danger room which I placed so every dwarf would have to pass through.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on September 05, 2011, 01:15:53 am
Knowing about macros in game AFTER doing most important things, even in adventurer mode when you train up knapping/archery...

Wait...This isn't much of a facepalm, I learned how to increase my FPS in typing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on September 05, 2011, 06:52:46 am
Quote from: Lord Allagon on September 04, 2011, 08:05:00 pm
Putting wooden menacing spikes instead of wooden spears in a danger room which I placed so every dwarf would have to pass through.

Even wooden spears can be deadly to pets and babies.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Coolnesstod on September 05, 2011, 12:27:46 pm
Had a fortress that was never seiged, Ambushed or attacked.It got a total of 200 dwarfs, then, Mass starvation killed all but one. He later Drowned in "The River of hatred". I then checked why i wasnt getting seiged, I had invaders turned off. *Face meet foot*
Time to reclaim!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zorae on September 06, 2011, 12:09:03 am
A FB appeared and I ignored it since I usually don't go into the caverns and if I do I seal everything off. I soon got reports that people were dying. It was rampaging through my fort because I left the drawbridge between the caverns and my stairs down.

Or when I built a drawbridge between my stairs and some cotton candy I was after. I breached directly into the circus  :'( So I sent my squad in to distract the clowns and pulled what I thought was my drawbridge lever. And nothing happened. So I pulled every lever in my fort... and nothing happened. I had built the bridge lever, but never actually hooked it up. Because I had breached directly into the circus, I couldn't wall/floor off my stairs up higher in time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Valdrax on September 06, 2011, 03:30:50 am
I just found out that the Trade Depot has a search function from the Little Questions thread.
My head hurts and my desk it mysteriously cracked, but I can't remember why...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on September 06, 2011, 10:57:59 am
I used Reveal to do some scouting, find a decent place to site fort, find magma, all that. I made it through the first year or so before I discovered that my proposed fortress site would require punching through a large underground lake. A very large lake, too much to easily drain. Fortunately, I have a plan. Some layers above the lake is an aquifer outcropping, just large enough to provide an infinite source of secure water etc, and an infinite water drain. I shall build a pump stack, having gotten quite good at them, and feed the lake into the aquifer some layers above it. I could use the Moses effect, I could simply punch down through an alternate path, but I'm going to use aquifers, pump stacks, and moderately deep magics to drain the lake. All of the lake. Bask in AWE at my dwarfiness!!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shurhaian on September 06, 2011, 11:17:58 am
That's not a facepalm. A facepalm is when you e.g. make the attempt, but leave something unsealed, and flood the entire lower portion of it in your attempts to get above the aquifer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on September 06, 2011, 11:27:30 am
Quote from: Shurhaian on September 06, 2011, 11:17:58 am
That's not a facepalm. A facepalm is when you e.g. make the attempt, but leave something unsealed, and flood the entire lower portion of it in your attempts to get above the aquifer.
I haven't actually tried it yet, it may very well end in tears. I posted it here because I didn't care enough to make a new thread for "Bask in my Dwarven Awesomeness!"

Edit: Finally tried it. It failed due to pressure concerns; if I want to drain anything into an aquifer, it must be pressurised relative to the aquifer, rather than simply pressurised to the level of the aquifer. Now for plan No.2- drain the lake into the cavern below.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nightwhips on September 06, 2011, 01:23:10 pm
I suck at teh channeling, apparently. I was making a reservoir and had the dorfs digging it out, two legendary miners, and realized they weren't moving around anymore, and they were thirsty. Somehow, I ruined the stairs. Then it was a race to dig out - about 15 tiles from freedom they both started verimin hunting. Luckily a new migrant miner had show up and was tunneling toward them from the other side. Both survived.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on September 07, 2011, 05:34:24 am
So starting fort, we dig straight down and forge a fortress right under your feet. Here come thieves! Autumn (or so I guess) first year, I view the civilizations. Kobold and Goblin, nothing bad. My two military founders can handle it, suited in full iron with steel axes and shields. Helmless though.

Then A VILE FORCE OF DARKNESS HAS ARRIVED!

South of my fort and on a mountain peak I find a squad of Goblin ARCHERS led by a Giant toad!

With no doors for my entrance I do the most logical thing a dwarf could.

Charge!!!

Two versus 15, what was I thinking?

"Oh damn, there goes another fort, ahh I can see the arrows flying down now...I'm doomed..."


But to my surprise, the archers were just aiming to suppress the charging dwarves. They entered martial trances and blocked/dodged and weaved their way through the lines of - . Kind of reminded me of the Matrix.

They took down the toad by beating it against the mountain wall then cut the archers up. Not a single scar or wound, their shields were gleaming with the sun's rays as they bore marks of tens of arrows. The reports were awesome.



To my surprise, it was a diversion. Goblin master thieves snuck in my fort and kidnapped 2 children of one of the recruits. She went berserk, cut apart most of the civilians before being put down by the founding duo. From 25 to 12...I'd rather have taken an arrow to the chest...


EDIT: In addition to that, I learned that building a floor on above ground will not cause vermin to spawn on the built floor if enclosed by walls and doors. That was after I spent most of my embark points on anti-vermin measures.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: krodalmighty on September 07, 2011, 11:29:05 pm
I'm just starting dwarf fortress, so I'm sure I'm performing facepalm worthy actions every second w/o realizing it yet . .

but my second attempt at a fort just now went something like this:
-spend lots of time digging out detailed rooms according to things i learned the first time
-cant find soil/clay so work out extremely crude plot to drain water from a lake thru the room
-against all odds plot succeeds, but by the time im almost done draining autumn arrives and the rains start
-shed manly tears of forebearance as i realize the rain is filling the lake faster than its draining, but surely that cant go on forever, right?
-lake is almost drained FINALLY
-BAM winter hits. lake im draining from and its drainage point freeze. leaving me with a 3or 4 deep lake underground.
-Dorfs cant find water outside, i unlock the door to the lake, but they wont go to it for some reason, maybe because its flush up against the water?
-thirst death -> tantrum -> thirst death ->tantrum . . . etc
-rage@tiny retards
-i resign to watching my dwarves die since i dont know what else to do

they call this FUN right?

those beards dont fool me, dorfs are just downs kids in disguise
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on September 08, 2011, 03:08:06 am
Quote from: krodalmighty on September 07, 2011, 11:29:05 pm
-Dorfs cant find water outside, i unlock the door to the lake, but they wont go to it for some reason, maybe because its flush up against the water?
-thirst death -> tantrum -> thirst death ->tantrum . . . etc

Dwarves prefer booze, and only drink water if they are desperate. Forcing them to go outside to drink makes things worse. When you embark, bring along at least a year's worth of booze with you.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Quantumtroll on September 08, 2011, 04:07:38 am
Quote from: Tiruin on September 07, 2011, 05:34:24 am
To my surprise, it was a diversion. Goblin master thieves snuck in my fort and kidnapped 2 children of one of the recruits. She went berserk, cut apart most of the civilians before being put down by the founding duo. From 25 to 12...I'd rather have taken an arrow to the chest...
She went berserk because her children got kidnapped?  The parents of my kidnappees have never seemed to care. 

I applaud the goblin strategist who decided that psychological warfare was the way to go ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on September 08, 2011, 10:03:08 am
Quote from: Quantumtroll on September 08, 2011, 04:07:38 am
Quote from: Tiruin on September 07, 2011, 05:34:24 am
To my surprise, it was a diversion. Goblin master thieves snuck in my fort and kidnapped 2 children of one of the recruits. She went berserk, cut apart most of the civilians before being put down by the founding duo. From 25 to 12...I'd rather have taken an arrow to the chest...
She went berserk because her children got kidnapped?  The parents of my kidnappees have never seemed to care. 

I applaud the goblin strategist who decided that psychological warfare was the way to go ;)

Usually, the kidnapping of one child can be negated by the current happiness of the dwarf, but you take away two kids and the fact that the mother was only a recruit (and therefore livid due to military related angst) it probably was the breaking point.

I had a whole bunch of recruits go berserk and kill each other when I drafted them. Luckily, they decided to go nuts in the danger room which was locked. Granted the fact one of them died in the danger room probably didn't help.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: krodalmighty on September 08, 2011, 02:47:02 pm
Quote from: geoduck on September 08, 2011, 03:08:06 am
Quote from: krodalmighty on September 07, 2011, 11:29:05 pm
-Dorfs cant find water outside, i unlock the door to the lake, but they wont go to it for some reason, maybe because its flush up against the water?
-thirst death -> tantrum -> thirst death ->tantrum . . . etc

Dwarves prefer booze, and only drink water if they are desperate. Forcing them to go outside to drink makes things worse. When you embark, bring along at least a year's worth of booze with you.

ugh, facepalm. thanks for the info
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darthbob88 on September 08, 2011, 07:13:09 pm
Quote from: darthbob88 on September 06, 2011, 11:27:30 am
Quote from: Shurhaian on September 06, 2011, 11:17:58 am
That's not a facepalm. A facepalm is when you e.g. make the attempt, but leave something unsealed, and flood the entire lower portion of it in your attempts to get above the aquifer.
I haven't actually tried it yet, it may very well end in tears. I posted it here because I didn't care enough to make a new thread for "Bask in my Dwarven Awesomeness!"

Edit: Finally tried it. It failed due to pressure concerns; if I want to drain anything into an aquifer, it must be pressurised relative to the aquifer, rather than simply pressurised to the level of the aquifer. Now for plan No.2- drain the lake into the cavern below.
Decided to save-scum back to before this all went pear-shaped and try this business again, building a higher stack to provide sufficient pressure. Ran into some power problems, but the legit facepalm: I built everything perfectly, all the pumps were powered, everything that should have been sealed was sealed, barring a few access ways that were simply doored. HOWEVER! Between one layer of pumps and the next, there was a disconnect, so that pump Delta did not, in fact, feed into pump Echo, and the pump stack did not pump everything out. I done goofed.

ETA: After much save-scumming, I've gotten a system that should work the way I intend it to, with the pumps and the pressure and the draining to the aquifer, and I've just noticed that the lake I've been attempting to drain is actually sourced water of nigh-infinite quantity and undrainable. Time for a new world that's not quite so wet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: omg_scout on September 09, 2011, 11:46:14 am
Once I had young fort, but all important industries was started, pack of 5 militas partly armoured in armour, and wielding iron weapons were ready.

I usually plant some traps outside of the forts, which make my animal stockpile full of goblins and kobold thieves...

Big time to give my militia some training in freshly mined arena!

So, 1vs1 with goblin invaders went good, same with wild animals I cought.

But, there was THE GUY left in cages. Filthy Thief, who got cought while trying to steal some shit from my fort. So, put the cage in arena, link with lever, and go have some fun Urist McBestSoldier.

Of course, he got killed by thief.

Thief then unlocked doors and got out... just to meet 4 of my remaining military, equipped in iron of course. Having slaughtered em all, he got cought again in the same trap. o_O
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MarcAFK on September 09, 2011, 12:28:37 pm
Should have stripped his weapon while he was caked.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: omg_scout on September 09, 2011, 01:15:40 pm
Not Dwarfy. ^^
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Boost One on September 09, 2011, 04:51:59 pm
One of my dwarfs died of drowning after heroically sealing off a flooded cavern apartment block. A while later he comes back as a "Ghostly Plant". I sit there staring at him for a while, a) thinking thst if I could choose any ghostly form to come back as, I'd pick a badarse ghost train and not some ghostly plant, and b) wondering if I can farm him.

Took me a long time to figure out DF had cut off the "-ter" in "planter" due to lack of space.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AaronLS on September 10, 2011, 03:00:11 am
Quote from: Boost One on September 09, 2011, 04:51:59 pm
One of my dwarfs died of drowning after heroically sealing off a flooded cavern apartment block. A while later he comes back as a "Ghostly Plant". I sit there staring at him for a while, a) thinking thst if I could choose any ghostly form to come back as, I'd pick a badarse ghost train and not some ghostly plant, and b) wondering if I can farm him.

Took me a long time to figure out DF had cut off the "-ter" in "planter" due to lack of space.

LOL funny
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nightwhips on September 10, 2011, 02:42:34 pm
Just flooded my fortress. Got a nice waterworks set up, huge system of floodgates, etc. Several holding tanks. Finally the top holding stank starts filling instead of draining into the plumbing to fill it. I suddenly realize there's water coming down the access tunnel on level 2. Not good! I had a stairwell carved on that level that had been inadvertently dug out on the level below, making me forget about the hole. When the holding tank finally filled it started going up out the open stair. Between when I noticed and acted the water had cut off the lever and tunnel making stopping it impossible. It then flooded the dining room and would have pushed dwarves off my natural waterfall if I had not turned it off.

Going back to a prior save... That pissed me off.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Frosty_Dorf on September 11, 2011, 02:52:07 am
Quote from: WhiteSpear on August 19, 2011, 06:23:57 pm
Within 12 seconds, 2 of my dwarves were dead, and a 3rd was running for his little bearded life. A friendly alligator had popped out of the river to say hello.
I facepalmed, then told the rest of my dwarves to haul the bloody limbs away from the wagon.

No more peasents vs random assorted undead in the tundra... the zombie moose... I dont care if people say undead = pushovers, they maulinated 6 starter dwarves, the last one was stuck in a sandy grave, the !@#$%^ers just roaming wherever they cared... and one next to a haunted lake... I think I had 5 attempted reclaims due to the wildlife [IIRC I was bringing axe dwarves on the 3rd attempt, and tested with the 2nd to see if food left in the wagon spoil...] before I gave up... on the bright side I found out gear left in the wagon on abandon seemed to stay in good shape on the wagon... if only the undead tigers hadn't shown up so fast [and mauled half the camp ever time] I might have has a shot at amassing a huge stockpile to start with, or just been able to start a fort period. As it stood, my 3rd attempt went spiral-tantrum and turned up the wagons... a full embark and then some of food spoiled...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: igmas on September 12, 2011, 07:33:22 am
I flooded my second forts second floor by assign channel on the wrong z-lvl when removing a hill close to a river. I noticed it pretty fast that one tile had changing water lvls from 6-7-6-7  constantly + waterfall effect . I didn't realize then that changing numbers in the river meant that something was flowing downwards I thought it was the current that did it. :D

In my newest fort were 3 diggers stopped moving after I the removed all but one ramp so they could get up but they refused to use it. Took me a while to figure out that the magma glass furnace was blocking the ramp :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Undercroft on September 12, 2011, 12:42:39 pm
First time making a waterfall. With pressurised magma. Perhaps diggin the sleeping quarters and food stores in the lower levels wasn't such a good idea. I learnt the value of adding in a sewer system between each level though :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KalLaba on September 12, 2011, 02:15:49 pm
Realised my miners were trapped when I saw one of the rooms wasn't being dug , quickly made a pick and set a random dwarf to dig them out (They were too busy looking for bugs to eat). got one out , he started running to the well\booze, while I was getting to the second I got the message Urist Mcminer has died of thirst , dammit I thought then I double checked and it was the other one who didn't make it to the well in time  and died running along one of the hallways :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iren on September 12, 2011, 10:47:34 pm
I had this huge, wealthy fortress embarked in a zone with almost no enemies (besides the eventual forgotten beast or rampaging badger boars), I excavated to the lower levels to reach the magma and (praise the gods!) the adamantine tubes. Yet when I was excavating one, Fun is almost unleashed, which I managed to stop by constructing a floor tile over it.

So there was the richest fortress, about 220 in population, soon I was able to buy an entire caravan with a couple adamantine crafts, the Dwarven Queen arrived and set the fortress as the new Mountainhome. An army of 50 adamantine-clad infantry men trained day and night and were capable of easily killing several forgotten beasts, some of them getting processed at the butcher shops, while the engravers recorded the events on the fortress walls for future generations. A golden colossus was built on the outside for wonder of travellers and merchants, since gold veins were around and massive quantities of gold bars were smelted on the magma shops.

So...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ross Vernal on September 12, 2011, 11:41:02 pm
"What's this damp stone nonsense? The lake is two Z-levels up! DIG, YOU IDIOT, THAT DAMP WALL IS CLEARLY INSIGNIFI-"

Urist McMiner has drowned!

All dwarves cancel every task: Unable to make path.

"...why is my fort instantly flooded? D:"

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nightwhips on September 13, 2011, 09:26:26 am
Goblin grinders worked great, but I need all the iron I can get (and they're only bringing two pieces on each goblin!), so I planned to flush a crossbow regiment into my death plumbing. Turns out you need more than one pipeline to flood a tunnel. They basically outran my "flood".

PATHETIC.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fahgo on September 13, 2011, 01:51:04 pm
For once i Facepalm due to my Dorfs being too awesome.

I'm running an above ground fort. No magma so I'm entirely reliant on coal (luckily lots of Bitumous Coal available). This means I'm carefull about how much smelting I do. And I keep running out of bolts for my MarksDorfs.
A Siege arrives. Mostly melee but there's 1 squad of CrossbowGobs. "Excelent! Loadsa free bolts!" I think to myself. After some shenanigans with the Gobs chasing after the resident undead wildlife they eventually start marching towards my forts entrance, all rather helpfully formed up as Trolls>Melee>CrossbowGobs. I station my squads (mostly legendary) round the corner of my fort near the entrance out of sight. Trolls arrive and get dealt with. First Melee squad arrives and suffers the same fate. Second squad arrives closely followed by the third so things start to get messy. One wounded Gob makes a break for it followed by one of my AxeDorfs. Runs round the corner straight into the last 2 Melee squads and the all important Crossbow squad. So I send all my squads charging round the corner hoping to cut through to the Crossbow squad before they break and run. Nope. Siege breaks and all the Crossbow squad escapes (the only Gobs that do). I really wanted those bolts too.  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Caz on September 14, 2011, 05:08:34 am
Being confused why my miners are dying of thirst because they trapped themselves when removing the upward ramps around the hills to stop goblins from getting in. Oops...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Mc U-man stabber on September 14, 2011, 07:08:06 am
my wagon spawned on a couple fire snakes and burst into flames. I lost everything but a copper pick, a copper battleaxe, some bolts and one dwarf butcher. *facepalm* I made it till migrants though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: breadman on September 15, 2011, 04:17:26 pm
Quote from: Shurhaian on August 28, 2011, 01:58:23 am
As for my own... hmm. Seeing the merchants come in to the depot, moving goods, noting that the trader was on break, intending to watch for it to end (or free the depot for trading by anyone if the merchants gave a departure warning), and going off on a grand construction project and completely missing the merchants getting ready to go and leaving might qualify. I was short of booze, too...

This matches my second major faceplant.  The first was that I had ignored the aquifer warning due to having read that one was great for Nist Akath.  Unfortunately, my embark was much warmer, so I wasn't finding any stone that didn't immediately get buried under 7/7 water.  Plenty of wood, but nothing fire-safe from which to build a furnace, so I couldn't collect the plentiful clay and sand.  I had been planning to buy some clay or a block from the merchants... and blitzed.

Fortunately, the outside water froze for a month or so soon after they left; just enough time to build a kiln out of ice.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sleziak on September 16, 2011, 01:14:52 am
The other day I was making a channel of water to go from the nearby river to under my hospital so I could build a well. Well I dug a 1 square channel in the middle of the hospital, dug out a path to the river, and unleashed the water. Well, turns out I forgot to remove the upward slope right under my hospital and in comes a massive flood of water. Luckily there was nothing in there at the time and it was doored off so I could contain it. Shrugged it off and moved the hospital up a level.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dachande on September 16, 2011, 05:34:45 am
One of my dwarves, my already high master (or thereabouts) stonecrafter, went into a strange mood. Gathered lots of stuff, then started yelling about cloth.

He didn't go insane for several season. Like, I think almost half a year passed, so I finally opened up the caverns to see if he wanted silk cloth. He did.

He completed the artifact, a microline harp. Then he and a milker promptly got one kick in the head each from a Draltha, because like a dumbass I didn't seal the caverns, and were instagibbed.

I started crying.

Edit: Typo
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on September 16, 2011, 03:47:55 pm
Quote
Urist McStupid has died after colliding with an obstacle.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jol on September 16, 2011, 04:38:30 pm
Is biting in a fight a normal behaviour for armed dwarves? My hammerlord keeps biting the Trolls.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Clutzy on September 16, 2011, 05:06:09 pm
While uncaging various goblins after finally defeating their chesnut admin leader, I got distracted by an ambush. This caused me to forget about the dragon I had decided to finally kill....At least it went off map after all its mayhem.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on September 16, 2011, 06:18:07 pm
A Vile Force of Darkness just had a date with my two beekeepers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Valdrax on September 16, 2011, 07:54:09 pm
Quote from: Vehudur on September 16, 2011, 06:18:07 pm
A Vile Force of Darkness just had a date with my two beekeepers.
Face palm?  Or cause for celebration?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: moki on September 16, 2011, 08:15:02 pm
"A part of the cavern has collapsed! Urist McUselessmason has died after colliding with an obstacle!"
Nothing special, there'll be more of those looking for work next year ::) I'll send my condolences to his family and remember not to build walls near bridges in the future.... so, redesignate everything, do some work here and there, look after the traders, the usual - a few weeks pass... suddenly:
"Urist McArmorsmith cancels make iron greaves: Item not accessible." Waaaait a second, there's enough iron down by the forges, at the very lowest level. Better take a look what's going on  ??? In short: The single tile cave in dropped through the farms, through an important water pipe (directly connected to the river, no floodgates) , through the stockpiles and through the dining hall without injurnig anybody. Woops. I knew I should've installed some doors... I wish I had, because the two lower levels had filled with steadily rising water without me even noticing  >:(


Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on September 16, 2011, 09:56:13 pm
Quote from: Valdrax on September 16, 2011, 07:54:09 pm
Quote from: Vehudur on September 16, 2011, 06:18:07 pm
A Vile Force of Darkness just had a date with my two beekeepers.
Face palm?  Or cause for celebration?

Both.

I just pulled a better one:

"A vile force of darkness has arrived!"

No prob.  I'll just activate my military and deploy them just like every other s-

"Urist McLegendaryStrandExtractor has bled to death."

*pauses game and stares at the message for about 30 seconds.*  What?

Oh, that's a troll.  Oh, that's a troll in my dining hall.

Oh, there's a few more.  Even one down in the lower dungeons smashing the prisoners and caged animals to bits.

That goblin archer just killed two of my legendary miners, the bastard.

and...

Oh, I left a door open.

Queue facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Boost One on September 17, 2011, 06:24:13 am
Quote from: Vehudur on September 16, 2011, 06:18:07 pm
two beekeepers.

Well, there's your problem.  ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Melissia on September 17, 2011, 09:02:35 am
I recently forgot to take any cats, resulting in lots of unhappy thoughts from vermin... which combined with the fact that I wasn't paying attention and ran out of wood (and lost my only axe somehow?  I'm still not sure how THAT happened) and general mismanagement of noise levels led to a rather embarrassingly early downward spiral.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Madventurer on September 17, 2011, 12:18:12 pm
Building a fort... nothign special.
Forgotten beast appears! Caverns are sealed, it can't get it, so it just wanders around.
Later, another Forgotten beast appears! It wanders around too.
Even later, I check unit list. Both beast are deceased.
I guess they killed eachother. Facepalm for them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Erkki on September 17, 2011, 03:34:34 pm
Thinking its a good idea to build obsidian casting industry in the same room with the magma forges, water supply being from an underground lake's bottom. In 5 frames the whole forge area was submerged 40 Z levels below and face hit the palm... --> operation to rescue the pump operator and keeping out the FB that I didnt notice to swim in the same lake the moment I breached the bottom.

Managed to both rescue the operator and keep the FB out, but the forges and gold mines are now lost for good. Had about 300 bars of metals and all the charcoal there, including all of my over the years imported aluminum, platinum, bronzes and all of the steel.  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on September 17, 2011, 06:38:14 pm
Here's one from my early playing:

Once I had my fortress get beaten back to the final defensive layer by a big siege, most of the fortress taken with just an "inner keep" left, and went to raise the draw bridge right before the first goblin crossed...

And I had forgotten to connect the draw bridge with the lever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BeforeLifer on September 17, 2011, 11:56:01 pm
In my attempts to break thought a double aquifer w/o any stone at all i made 2 huge rings to drop into the water. During the first drop the dust pushed my mason/weaponsmith/furnace guy. and my expidition leader into the pit. It was only a 2 level drop the but the mason landed in the water left over and on the other side from the only exit. Leaving him for dead after he passed out even though he only brused his liver and chest but snaped his back I turn to the other guy to find out that all of his limbs how have a 3rd joint in them, some even with 4. And yes this was only a 2 level drop. I got really unlucky with that... And later when I go to drop the other plug in my miner disides to be the one to drop the other plug in by removing a constuted wall. SOMEHOW SOMEWAY the cave-in dust managed to launch him 2 z levels UP. During the flught he must have done a flip because when he landed he landed right on his head... And to make matters worse the expidition leader then shortly died from infection later. And how in the hell do you get infections from wounds that dont even break the skin? Eather way. *Facepalm* Shortly followed by a *FACEDESK*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vorthon on September 18, 2011, 04:18:59 am
@Before lifer:

Y'know, you could've brought some stone with you, brought a mechanic, built a support, made some mechanisms, built a lever, then hooked up the support to the lever so you could have could have collapsed stuff from a distance, right?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Melissia on September 18, 2011, 06:59:03 am
I just realized why my jeweler starved herself to death.

The jeweler's workshop apparently was placed in a location where she shut herself in the room behind it..

W W W W W W W F F F
W S S S S S W F F F
W S S J J J W F F F
W S S J J J F F F F
W S C J J J W F F F
W S S S S S W F F F
W W W W W W W F F F

W = wall
S = stockpile
F = floor
J = Jeweler's workshop
C = corpse of jeweler

Oddly this problem has not been encountered for any other workshop using this setup.

So this I guess serves as a warning-- the Jeweler's workshop (no other workshops confirmed) blocks the movement of dwarves!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Boost One on September 18, 2011, 07:07:11 am
When building a workshop, darker green X shapes will tell you which parts are impassible.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Melissia on September 18, 2011, 07:09:47 am
Ah... thank you!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BeforeLifer on September 18, 2011, 09:43:57 am
Quote from: Vorthon on September 18, 2011, 04:18:59 am
@Before lifer:

Y'know, you could've brought some stone with you, brought a mechanic, built a support, made some mechanisms, built a lever, then hooked up the support to the lever so you could have could have collapsed stuff from a distance, right?
Yes i do know that but i wanted to try it as a minimulistice and i only brought 2 copper nuggets. Im still suprised that the cavein dust that hit my miner lanched him 2 z levels into the air. It disaped right after lanching him too! Ah well I need to have some forts that have a few deaths early on for once XD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hels on September 18, 2011, 11:44:20 am
My best mildorf was hit up onto a the wall that surrounds the above ground training facility. I let the fort run and come back to see him dead from thirst.

He was hit up there while sparring. :\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zwei on September 18, 2011, 11:55:15 am
Quote from: Melissia on September 18, 2011, 06:59:03 am
I just realized why my jeweler starved herself to death.

...

So this I guess serves as a warning-- the Jeweler's workshop (no other workshops confirmed) blocks the movement of dwarves!

Dwarven jewelers are not called "sucicide booth enthusiasts" for nothing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Clutzy on September 18, 2011, 04:26:50 pm
More of a face desk really. Realized instead of building paved roads I'd been placing floor tiles. D'oh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Melissia on September 18, 2011, 04:32:33 pm
Quote from: zwei on September 18, 2011, 11:55:15 am
Quote from: Melissia on September 18, 2011, 06:59:03 am
I just realized why my jeweler starved herself to death.

...

So this I guess serves as a warning-- the Jeweler's workshop (no other workshops confirmed) blocks the movement of dwarves!

Dwarven jewelers are not called "sucicide booth enthusiasts" for nothing.
Well, he's now occupying the first and only coffin/burial chamber I've had to make so far.

Mostly because usually when my dwarves die they die in unison.  This jeweler jumped the gun.  Or the jumped the hammer for a more thematic term.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrC on September 18, 2011, 08:42:07 pm
on one of the older versions I equipped my entire militia with training weapons and accidentally trained one gobbo into a legendary spear goblin much !!fun!! was had when he eventually massacred my entire militia.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: saltmummy626 on September 19, 2011, 07:34:11 am
I lost an entire squad (7 dwarves) to a single sturgeon, said sturgeon also slaughtered 16 other dwarves because instead of drinking the huge quantities of booze stashed away in the easily accessible stockpile, the went to the river. the thing was finally killed when a peasant knocked out in a goblin raid finally regained consciousness, went to the river for water, (DAMN!!) pulled the sturgeon out, and punched it to death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Melissia on September 19, 2011, 08:22:58 am
Quote from: saltmummy626 on September 19, 2011, 07:34:11 am
I lost an entire squad (7 dwarves) to a single sturgeon, said sturgeon also slaughtered 16 other dwarves because instead of drinking the huge quantities of booze stashed away in the easily accessible stockpile, the went to the river. the thing was finally killed when a peasant knocked out in a goblin raid finally regained consciousness, went to the river for water, (DAMN!!) pulled the sturgeon out, and punched it to death.
A solution to this problem for the future:  Build a channel that redirects the river in a U-shape, reconnecting with the river itself afterwards to keep the water as running water.  DO NOT let the water into the channel yet.  Build two grates, one on each end, and  THEN channel out the last two blocks to let the water flow through.  Designate a drinking area in this new channel.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zwei on September 19, 2011, 09:09:36 am
Quote from: saltmummy626 on September 19, 2011, 07:34:11 am
I lost an entire squad (7 dwarves) to a single sturgeon, said sturgeon also slaughtered 16 other dwarves ...

sturgeon or surgeon?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Alloran on September 19, 2011, 11:13:19 am
So, got five years into a new fort. Snakeleaves or something like that. Was going well, had a surplus of everything, no invaders yet, blah blah. Good going stuff. Oh noes, an ambush! Go, admittedly untrained military! Oh... oh. You get murdered in five seconds flat. Er... um... Everyone inside, shut up the gates, it'll be okay while I get a danger room set up to go and kill 'em in a season or two! Wait, Urist McMiner has died of thirst? What the what what? Checked the Z-stocks screen. Oh. I'd apparently forgotten to make drinks for three years. >.> Those are important. All 60 some remaining dorfs in my fort fall over dead within twenty minutes of each other. Face, meet palm. >.<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on September 19, 2011, 11:55:49 pm
Well, I just breached the ocean about 15z down on accident.

This is going to end badly, all my miners (and picks!) are trapped in very rapidly flooding passages.

Fixed that mistake, and made another of the same type.   This time, I hit the ocean dead on instead of a corner....

And my entire fortress was underwater before anyone could blink.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on September 20, 2011, 03:59:44 pm
Quote from: zwei on September 19, 2011, 09:09:36 am
Quote from: saltmummy626 on September 19, 2011, 07:34:11 am
I lost an entire squad (7 dwarves) to a single sturgeon, said sturgeon also slaughtered 16 other dwarves ...

sturgeon or surgeon?

Spoiler: Sturgeon. Eats dwarves like candy. (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on September 20, 2011, 06:13:40 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on September 20, 2011, 03:59:44 pm
Quote from: zwei on September 19, 2011, 09:09:36 am
Quote from: saltmummy626 on September 19, 2011, 07:34:11 am
I lost an entire squad (7 dwarves) to a single sturgeon, said sturgeon also slaughtered 16 other dwarves ...

sturgeon or surgeon?

Spoiler: Sturgeon. Eats dwarves like candy. (click to show/hide)
Holy ‼Waffle Iron‼ that's a big fish!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on September 20, 2011, 07:53:16 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on September 20, 2011, 06:13:40 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on September 20, 2011, 03:59:44 pm
Quote from: zwei on September 19, 2011, 09:09:36 am
Quote from: saltmummy626 on September 19, 2011, 07:34:11 am
I lost an entire squad (7 dwarves) to a single sturgeon, said sturgeon also slaughtered 16 other dwarves ...
sturgeon or surgeon?
Spoiler: Sturgeon. Eats dwarves like candy. (click to show/hide)
Holy ‼Waffle Iron‼ that's a big fish!
Yes, yes it is.  Now do you understand why they are dangerous to your dwarves?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on September 20, 2011, 11:30:42 pm
Quote from: Vehudur on September 20, 2011, 07:53:16 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on September 20, 2011, 06:13:40 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on September 20, 2011, 03:59:44 pm
Quote from: zwei on September 19, 2011, 09:09:36 am
Quote from: saltmummy626 on September 19, 2011, 07:34:11 am
I lost an entire squad (7 dwarves) to a single sturgeon, said sturgeon also slaughtered 16 other dwarves ...
sturgeon or surgeon?
Spoiler: Sturgeon. Eats dwarves like candy. (click to show/hide)
Holy ‼Waffle Iron‼ that's a big fish!
Yes, yes it is.  Now do you understand why they are dangerous to your dwarves?

Now imagine a peasantdorf get overrun in a goblin ambush, who then wakes up hungover. He blithely stumbles to the river, in search of liquids for his parched throat. He dips his hand into the river, and to his bemusement, a gigantic fish has latched onto it. What else is there to do? He calmly punches it to death, gets his drink, and goes about his business.

Dorfs are badass.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Theifofdreams on September 21, 2011, 01:30:38 am
Doncherknow? Dorfs fish by sticking their beards in the water, and then grappling whatever bites on to death. This works on small fish that easily get tangled in the facial hair, but on larger ones like that, it's a risky business indeed. You try grappling a fish to death, when the fish has a hold on your beard and could swallow your head whole.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Monkeyfacedprickleback on September 21, 2011, 03:20:06 am
I've been playing for two months and only now realized how to change bridge from (retracts) to (raises)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Boost One on September 21, 2011, 07:04:14 am
A berserk racist elf donkey killed my military and half the fort, sending the rest into a tantrum spiral.

Facepalm.

The entire population was then conscripted to fight a giantess, who would otherwise have bashed up my migrants, my caravans and my best hope for salvation. After half an hour of watching the fort piling in on the unconscious monster (alternating between punching her and punching each other), a siege came along, the dwarves were dropped from the military and were ordered inside. A goblin simply waltzed over and caved in the giantess' face with one blow.

Facepalm.

The dwarves didn't pull the lever to close the gate in time and the goblins made it inside. I had no functional military or traps (first fort) so I made the cunning move of unsealing a flooded apartment block. The goblins were drowned. My dwarves were packed into the dining room, soon to be submerged, and the miners were dead due to severe nutritional imbalance (I believe there was a toxic buildup of vitamin axe in their spines), so the dwarves had no picks, which had been stored past the water.

Facepalm.

I remembered that the Mayor (she was the best when she went batshit - she took a crossbow outside and started firing into the air) had an artifact floor hatch leading to the caverns in her bedroom (she pulled the lever on her political enemies while they were admiring the craftsdwarfship). What the hell, I'll send the dwarves down and see what I can do down there, there's nothing else to do but die of drowning. I burrowed the remaining dwarves on the trapdoor, which also had a meeting hall on it. The mayor got to pull the lever. It was a three-Z-level drop, but most would survive by landing on the dying dwarves, right? Right. So half the rest of the dwarves go down the trapdoor. Some of the children were actually holding barrels of booze, I don't know why, but it was awesome they were taking supplies. I shouldn't have to worry about the local wildlife because they've all been taken care of by that forgotten beast...

Facepalm.

I go down three Z-levels to see a gigantic eyeless dimetrodon with charcoal scales standing with its mouth open beneath a trapdoor. Guess it brings new meaning to 'down the hatch'.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Genoraven on September 21, 2011, 07:36:22 am
Quote from: Boost One on September 21, 2011, 07:04:14 am
A berserk racist elf donkey killed my military and half the fort, sending the rest into a tantrum spiral.

Facepalm.

The entire population was then conscripted to fight a giantess, who would otherwise have bashed up my migrants, my caravans and my best hope for salvation. After half an hour of watching the fort piling in on the unconscious monster (alternating between punching her and punching each other), a siege came along, the dwarves were dropped from the military and were ordered inside. A goblin simply waltzed over and caved in the giantess' face with one blow.

Facepalm.

The dwarves didn't pull the lever to close the gate in time and the goblins made it inside. I had no functional military or traps (first fort) so I made the cunning move of unsealing a flooded apartment block. The goblins were drowned. My dwarves were packed into the dining room, soon to be submerged, and the miners were dead due to severe nutritional imbalance (I believe there was a toxic buildup of vitamin axe in their spines), so the dwarves had no picks, which had been stored past the water.

Facepalm.

I remembered that the Mayor (she was the best when she went batshit - she took a crossbow outside and started firing into the air) had an artifact floor hatch leading to the caverns in her bedroom (she pulled the lever on her political enemies while they were admiring the craftsdwarfship). What the hell, I'll send the dwarves down and see what I can do down there, there's nothing else to do but die of drowning. I burrowed the remaining dwarves on the trapdoor, which also had a meeting hall on it. The mayor got to pull the lever. It was a three-Z-level drop, but most would survive by landing on the dying dwarves, right? Right. So half the rest of the dwarves go down the trapdoor. Some of the children were actually holding barrels of booze, I don't know why, but it was awesome they were taking supplies. I shouldn't have to worry about the local wildlife because they've all been taken care of by that forgotten beast...

Facepalm.

I go down three Z-levels to see a gigantic eyeless dimetrodon with charcoal scales standing with its mouth open beneath a trapdoor. Guess it brings new meaning to 'down the hatch'.

I do believe you will be a welcome member of thefort Forum. Because that story was awesome.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The Butterfly on September 21, 2011, 05:36:22 pm
I embarked on a site with two rivers, in different levels. Soooo I decided to build a statue garden with waterfall in the middle of it. I couldn't be bothered with screw pumps so drew water from the river at the higher Z-level. let the water fall through the statue garden and the floor grates, before finally flowing out to the river at the lower Z-level. My dwarves were be impressed with the lovely waterfall, all the water washed away grime and blood from the dwarves, and all was well

except that my waterfall was actually tagged Outdoors because I had channeled straight down from the surface. Every winter, any dwarves and dogs unlucky enough to be in that statue garden would be encased in ice. The hell...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tevish Szat on September 21, 2011, 05:54:13 pm
Like many others here, major facepalm when first learning about the d-b menu.  so much time manually quantum-stockpiling stones with loo(k).

Facepalm: Created an awesome dining room with artificial waterfall.  it was a good design: river-fed cistern on the surface, catch cistern below the dining room, 4z pump stack powered by the river to reset it, floodgate to control filling the top cistern from the river and hatch to control release of the waterfall, everything hooked up to levers.  I was even in a warm environment, so no worry about freezing

Well, on first activation, the thing didn't cause flooding, but it WAS making a wet mess, so I widened the hole in the floor and installed more grates, then turned it back on.  Well, in that time a good deal of my initial upper-cistern full of water had evaporated from the barely-filled lower cistern.  Easy solution!  That's exactly why I left the fill lever available.  I order it pulled twice to get a quick infusion of water.

The lever glitches out, and the floodgate stays open.  Somehow or other quantum entanglement gets disentangled because I can never seem to order the floodgate closed.  but that's okay, because the waterfall-controlling hatch is still in place.

The hatch was open when I ordered the refill, and the lever that controls it on the far side of the waterfall-fed dining room/meeting hall.  Urist McNotASwimmer cancels pull the lever: Dangerous Terrain.  As the river was basically at surface level, importantly above the mostly dug out level I was preparing to be a tree farm, cue Chapter III: Carp Fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on September 21, 2011, 11:29:50 pm
So, I finally got back into the groove and decided to sit down and play a game of good old DF. Spent about half an hour making sure that my human mod was still working nicely, then a couple more genning a wonderful world, playing a few adventurers, and picking out a good site.

About twenty minutes into my desert embark, I realized that I had forgotten to copy the reactions for smelting coal, and that for some reason, I had decided that humans didn't need the ability to make wooden training axes......
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nightwhips on September 22, 2011, 09:51:11 am
I was wondering why I was running out of fairly rare fuel, because my only fuel use is making steel and I can only do that with goblinite. Turns out I built a regular glass furnace over my magma well.

EDIT: Reading about diningwaterfalls reminded me of my near facepalm with that. I had arranged for such, with the small waterfall draining into the natural waterfall I had built my dining hall on. (Happy dwarves!) But for some reason I put my jail below the hall and opposite the drain, thinking upward slopes wouldn't allow water in. And little did I know that engravings prevent you from seeing water depth. I tried to build something (a bed for the capt of the guard, who was charged with murder because she "forgot" to trade out her spear for a pine training sword on promotion) and it said there was water there. Eh? Water? oh, 5/7 water! In the whole room! The captain got a free bath, but I managed to drain it off via a preexisting plumbing route, so no true !fun! happened.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pelander on September 22, 2011, 03:06:09 pm
I had a full squad of legendary melee dwarves get wiped by a dragon. I couldn't figure out why they had done so poorly blocking the dragonfire when they were all legendary shield users.

...then I realized I had previously unequiped all of their shields for some weapons-focused danger room training.

FMF
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 23, 2011, 06:15:19 am
what's the right phrase to use when you discover a cavern by accidentally tapping into it's lake from the side?  With a settlement and projects under construction below the expanded staircase in question
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dutchling on September 23, 2011, 08:08:16 am
Quote from: ThatAussieGuy on September 23, 2011, 06:15:19 am
what's the right phrase to use when you discover a cavern by accidentally tapping into it's lake from the side?  With a settlement and projects under construction below the expanded staircase in question
FaceEarth?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 23, 2011, 08:25:54 am
Oh an even better screwup - i found the aquifer in my new fort - it wasn't a layer encompassing, but instead seems to be like a "bubble" in the mountain.  And Urist McMiner whacked it good.  It's current dribbling down the main staircase towards the magmaworks.  And my attempts to Piston the breach shut were met with the discovery that i pierced it on a lower level of many.  After i saved.  Oh dear...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: camza on September 23, 2011, 09:33:56 am
Hmmm. My biggest facepalm moment would probably be during my first fort back in .40d. I had a brook cutting through my map and decided to dam it so I could redirect it through my fortress. I decided that the best way to do this would be lots of screw pumps powered by waterwheels pumping water into a walled off area.

This was my first time using both screw pumps and waterwheels so I started building them BEFORE I'd built the, uh, 'containment system'. Not knowing that screw pumps turn on as soon as a power source is attached. Fast forward 10 minutes and I'm noticing considerable lag. I scroll over to the pumps and see half my map has become an ocean being pumped from an infinite water source that's being powered by the very same brook.

And any dwarf that tried to disassemble it was washed away.

Facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on September 24, 2011, 12:57:03 am
Inspired by an old sig somebody had, I just traded the Elves a bunch of lead goblets.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 24, 2011, 05:20:00 am
I just had my wheelhouse nearly finished and ready to divert the local brook through it to get some cheap power.  Then a gobbo siege hit and a horde of trolls went through and broke THEN ENTIRE SETUP.  This is why dwarves can't have nice things without the judicious use of magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on September 24, 2011, 06:15:25 am
Hmm, that post I made above this one was supposed to be in the What's Going On In Your Fort? thread.

Anyway, the latest facepalm is the realization that an entire team of hammerdwarves makes for pretty boring combat logs. Every kill is the skull being bashed through the brain and not a single limb has been severed. I'm going to upgrade to battleaxes (All the limb-chopping fun of swords combined with the bone-crushing power of hammers!) but I don't remember exactly how the game calculates axe effectiveness. Is silver a good axe material?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on September 24, 2011, 07:16:00 am
Quote from: Samuel on September 24, 2011, 06:15:25 am
Hmm, that post I made above this one was supposed to be in the What's Going On In Your Fort? thread.

Anyway, the latest facepalm is the realization that an entire team of hammerdwarves makes for pretty boring combat logs. Every kill is the skull being bashed through the brain and not a single limb has been severed. I'm going to upgrade to battleaxes (All the limb-chopping fun of swords combined with the bone-crushing power of hammers!) but I don't remember exactly how the game calculates axe effectiveness. Is silver a good axe material?

Axes (and all bladed/pointed weapons) rely on the sharpness of the weapon, silver is a BAD material for bladed and pointed weapons. Silver is the BEST material for blunt weapons [your hammerdwarves]

Click Me (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Weapon#Weapon_Material_Quality)

~~~

So here I go creating an above ground fort and walling off the perimeter with a drawbridge over the river as defense, my only passage in and out the fort. A siege arrives and I hastily pull the lever, nothing happens...

It seems that I had forgotten to link up the lever after creating it. There goes another well-done fort  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on September 24, 2011, 08:04:45 am
Quote from: Samuel on September 24, 2011, 06:15:25 am
Hmm, that post I made above this one was supposed to be in the What's Going On In Your Fort? thread.

Anyway, the latest facepalm is the realization that an entire team of hammerdwarves makes for pretty boring combat logs. Every kill is the skull being bashed through the brain and not a single limb has been severed. I'm going to upgrade to battleaxes (All the limb-chopping fun of swords combined with the bone-crushing power of hammers!) but I don't remember exactly how the game calculates axe effectiveness. Is silver a good axe material?
why not use hammers, axes, spears and swords in one squad?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 24, 2011, 08:31:20 am
Every year a goblin siege turns up on my doorstep.  Every year somehow about 50 of the 80+ dwarves happen to be outside when i lock the doors.  (if i don't, the others will wander out).  I honestly don't know what those sun-lovers find so fascinating outdoors as i've moved everything inside long ago.  I have a backlog of corpses to bury to rival my last fortress.  THAT one took decades to bury.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shootandrun on September 24, 2011, 08:44:16 am
Quote from: ThatAussieGuy on September 24, 2011, 08:31:20 am
Every year a goblin siege turns up on my doorstep.  Every year somehow about 50 of the 80+ dwarves happen to be outside when i lock the doors.  (if i don't, the others will wander out).  I honestly don't know what those sun-lovers find so fascinating outdoors as i've moved everything inside long ago.  I have a backlog of corpses to bury to rival my last fortress.  THAT one took decades to bury.

You have placed a meeting zone inside, right? Because the default meeting zone is at the wagon, and if you don't put any inside all your idlers will go there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on September 24, 2011, 08:47:16 am
ARHAGIHAGAPDSOJA[SDHASUILDAS

Goblin Ambush. No biggie I thought. But my legendary leatherworker/marksdwarf didn't pay attention and didn't shoot the lasher approaching (no, he was shooting at a heavily bleeding, unconscious and practically dead pikegoblin instead) untill the lasher actually started lashing him. He dodged! And fell two levels. Died. The lasher then walked back a bit, dodged a weapon trap, fell the same distance and survived it.

Oh well, all the goblins except one piker in a cage are dead now. But still, dammit, I liked having a legendary leatherworker. :( Poor Sibrek Avalsakzul, the blind idiot. The goblin who killed him got stabbed in the head with a steel two hander.

Remarkably, this ambush saw more death on either side (some draltha childs, a puppy and two war dogs together with Sibrek on my side and all the goblins) than the one siege my fort has had. That involved only the death of the Goblin leader who was shot in the heart and bled to death while the entire force retreated.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 24, 2011, 08:50:44 am
Quote from: Shootandrun on September 24, 2011, 08:44:16 am
Quote from: ThatAussieGuy on September 24, 2011, 08:31:20 am
Every year a goblin siege turns up on my doorstep.  Every year somehow about 50 of the 80+ dwarves happen to be outside when i lock the doors.  (if i don't, the others will wander out).  I honestly don't know what those sun-lovers find so fascinating outdoors as i've moved everything inside long ago.  I have a backlog of corpses to bury to rival my last fortress.  THAT one took decades to bury.

You have placed a meeting zone inside, right? Because the default meeting zone is at the wagon, and if you don't put any inside all your idlers will go there.

Yessss.... whoops.  Must've savescummed and forgotten to redo it. The wagon was dismantled years ago though
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MonkeyHead on September 24, 2011, 10:48:41 am
Bezerking High Master Mechanic after a failed mood. Forgot he was a Professional miner with a copper pick. Several dozen dead civilians later I checked the combat logs and ralized why my ragtag recruits hadnt taken him down yet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 24, 2011, 11:23:16 am
Siiigh.  A Goblin siege got in past my security arch (up into a floorhatched room, then down again) because SOMEONE LEFT A *CENSORED*'ING SOCK IN THE WAY!  I'm going to have to savescum, but I'm letting the siege go rampant first as punishment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on September 24, 2011, 02:10:43 pm
GODDAMN FUCK SHIT COCKLECUNTS.


There had been an fb swimming about in my second cavern level but because it didn't seem to intend to go the shore I just left it. Then I suddenly noticed a dead engineer whose death I did not witness. The fb. It later killed another recruit and tore off an arm of my most succesfull melee militiadorf as of yet. Who cleaned himself with soap but refuses to go to hospital.

Also, a marksdwarf was kileld by a capybara man. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Komra on September 24, 2011, 04:35:18 pm
An FB walked through my entire fort an got killed by a single merchant with a whip. Who was on the TOP FLOOR, furthest from its entry point. it killed nobody on its entire journey. Lamest FB ever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on September 24, 2011, 06:03:28 pm
For all the animals I slaughtered and fat I rendered, I couldn't figure out why I couldn't make soap. I even started a quarry bush farm to produce oil instead.

It took a few in-game months and a crapload of dead livestock to realize I had completely forgotten lye.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Oaktree on September 24, 2011, 11:27:11 pm
Doing an obsidian cast to penetrate an aquifer.  Built a quartzite bridge over the site so that I can drop a 4x4 of magma right into the channeled out aquifer tiles.

The magma is flowing in and I'm close to closing the gate and then retracting the bridge... when the bridge disintegrates!   :o

I put a non-magma safe mechanism in it when I linked it to the lever.  D'oh!   :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on September 25, 2011, 12:24:28 am
Here I got one. It is from a while back, but I forgot about it.

I had made a statue garden outside to fight cave adaption and it worked.
Imagine my surprise during a siege a butch of dwarfs are walking outside despite an alert.
I quickly notice they are all going to the statue garden. I look at the statue garden and
there's already a party going on! I double check the alert. It's set to the right one.

Did you know that statue gardens trump alerts?

I didn't. Naturally, the dwarves kind of stood there looking confused when I freed the statue
from the garden.

Dwarf 1: Hey, let's go to the statue garden.
Dwarf 2: Err... the statue garden is outside and we can't go there's a siege.
Dwarf 1: No, its a statue garden and according to the Dwarven Book of Laws: "Statue Gardens are meeting halls. Meeting Halls are considered to be inside regardless of location or lack of ceiling."
Dwarf 2: I don't know about that...
Dwarf 1: Come on, Urist is having a party out there.
Dwarf 2: Why didn't you say so!? Let's go!

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ross Vernal on September 25, 2011, 02:40:06 am
"For my dining room waterfall, I'll just tap into the bottom of the lake and drain it into the aquifer. That way I never run out of water... okay, floodgates, check. Grates, check. Pressure plates, check. Drain into the aquifer, check. PULL THE LEVER!"


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWdLt3Afjrg

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 25, 2011, 05:57:39 am
I built a water reactor atop an aquifer.  I'm learning the true meaning of "perpetual motion" right now while i try to build along the active wheel to make it bigger.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Undercroft on September 25, 2011, 07:18:02 am
Setting up in a haunter biome, and putting off walling in a bit too long.

250 early spring the fortress of Brainslow was founded.
250 mid spring the fortress of Brainslow withered.

the local ogres were curious. too curious.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrAnderson on September 25, 2011, 11:11:16 am
Quote from: Ross Vernal on September 25, 2011, 02:40:06 am
"For my dining room waterfall, I'll just tap into the bottom of the lake and drain it into the aquifer. That way I never run out of water... okay, floodgates, check. Grates, check. Pressure plates, check. Drain into the aquifer, check. PULL THE LEVER!"

I did the same, but with an ocean and without the waterfall. the channel i built for drainage was flooded in a frame i think. but the best part was what the unlucky miner did to avoid the possibly fatal crush against the walls:

at first i thought, he was atomized by the water, but then i found him 3z above. he must have dodged into the freshly drained part of the ocean! no swimming skill, but dabbling dodger from enlisting in the military... i had to laugh out loud when i saw this  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doomchild- on September 26, 2011, 02:38:57 am
The hunter hits the Alligator in the head with the ☼Alligator bone bolt☼
A masterwork of Urist McBonecarver has been lost
Urist McBonecarver cancels 'Make Bone bolts': throwing tantrum
Urist McBonecarver has gone stark raving mad

j => m => q => rock coffin

i hate those early masterwork bolts... any way to prevent them from being used untill the bonecarver has produces a few hundred of them?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZeroSumHappiness on September 26, 2011, 05:09:27 am
Create a separate stockpile for Masterwork and Legendary ammo, take from your normal ammo stockpile?  Then you'd have to burrow your marksdwarves to avoid the Masterwork stockpile I guess.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on September 26, 2011, 10:13:05 am
Quote from: Doomchild- on September 26, 2011, 02:38:57 am
The hunter hits the Alligator in the head with the ☼Alligator bone bolt☼
A masterwork of Urist McBonecarver has been lost
Urist McBonecarver cancels 'Make Bone bolts': throwing tantrum
Urist McBonecarver has gone stark raving mad

j => m => q => rock coffin

i hate those early masterwork bolts... any way to prevent them from being used untill the bonecarver has produces a few hundred of them?


press z, go to stocks, select the right bolts and press f. Ta-da.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mrhappyface on September 26, 2011, 11:07:51 am
I Once tried to make a mild sedative syndrome that's spread by cats. However, I forgot a few zeroes when setting the ignition point. So instead of my dwarves yawning, and then taking a peaceful nap, they scream and run around as their body roasts from the inside out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on September 26, 2011, 11:29:08 am
Quote from: Mrhappyface on September 26, 2011, 11:07:51 am
I Once tried to make a mild sedative syndrome that's spread by cats. However, I forgot a few zeroes when setting the ignition point. So instead of mh dwarves yawning, and then taking a peaceful nap, they scream and run around as their body roasts from the inside out.
This is the kind of sedative we should use for insomniacs and Bay12forums mental institutions  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Leatra on September 26, 2011, 11:38:13 am
Quote from: Necro910 on September 26, 2011, 11:29:08 am
Quote from: Mrhappyface on September 26, 2011, 11:07:51 am
I Once tried to make a mild sedative syndrome that's spread by cats. However, I forgot a few zeroes when setting the ignition point. So instead of mh dwarves yawning, and then taking a peaceful nap, they scream and run around as their body roasts from the inside out.
This is the kind of sedative we should use for insomniacs and Bay12forums mental institutions  :P
Aha! That would be awesome.

Uh... You know. For mental institutions :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on September 26, 2011, 01:38:36 pm
A vile force of darkness had a date with my masons as they were three stones from completing the outer curtain wall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on September 26, 2011, 02:23:46 pm
Quote from: Mrhappyface on September 26, 2011, 11:07:51 am
I Once tried to make a mild sedative syndrome that's spread by cats. However, I forgot a few zeroes when setting the ignition point. So instead of mh dwarves yawning, and then taking a peaceful nap, they scream and run around as their body roasts from the inside out.
Oh ouch.

Edit; as I see Vehudur's signature
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I think about modding in plutonium warhammers. Er. Hm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Specter513 on September 26, 2011, 06:13:59 pm
A vile force of darkness has appeared!
Urist McBestAxeman has been shot and killed!
WHAT?
Checking combat report

"Urist McBestAxeman was hit by a silver arrow in the head, crushing the brain!"
One arrow killed my best warrior with 20 kills. I was PO'd.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on September 26, 2011, 06:46:11 pm
A vile force of darkness has arrived!!

"O no, the only thing I have to stop them are rock floodgates!! Burrow the dwarves!!"

"Pull the lever Urist!"

A few minutes later of panicking dwarves, running underground and the shutting of floodgates do I see the coming horde.

A group of axe-goblins and a Jabberer, good thing my floodgates cannot be destroyed in such a way.

Until I saw someone drop some monarch butterfly remains by the middle gate. We couldn't get it closed in time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doomchild- on September 27, 2011, 02:54:25 am
same fortress as my previous facepalm:
having lost 2 beekeepers to ambushes already, i decided to try again but this time burrowing my beekeeper and setting some of the hives to only be used for splitting, removing the need to go hunt the map for a new batch of bees. everything went well and eventhough my beekeeping experiment was rather small-scale, my dwarves could enjoy the ocasional mead.
then an ambush of crossbow goblins popped up and started raining death on my pastures and outside farms from higher ground. not to loose any dwarves i made a new burrow which didn't include my outside 'safe' zone (area outside my fortress, used for trading, farming, herding and beekeeping, protected by a heavily trapped entrance tunnel but unfortunatly not as safe as i would like since it's in a valley) having no clear shot at anything, the ambush proceeds to my entrance tunnel and meets its end at my dodge-trap. only lives lost were a stray bunny and a pet cavy sow. life returns to normal, then suddenly "ambush! curse them!" "Urist McBeekeeper has died" zoom to location => other side of the mountain

mental note = setting civilian alert to restrict to a burrow overrides all previous burrowing. removing the restriction does not reset those to their previous settings. Urist McBeekeeper was free to roam the map in search of bees and gobling surprises.

beekeeping suspended until a better solution can be found... no mead for my dwarves.

ps: how big does your beefarm have to be to produce sufficient honey for atleast some consistent mead production? i had 10 hives which produced about 5 honeycombs in the 2 years of active beekeeping? 2 years and 3 dwarves for ~25 units of mead seems hardly worth it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Martholomule on September 27, 2011, 10:01:09 am
Quote from: Doomchild- on September 27, 2011, 02:54:25 am
ps: how big does your beefarm have to be to produce sufficient honey for atleast some consistent mead production? i had 10 hives which produced about 5 honeycombs in the 2 years of active beekeeping? 2 years and 3 dwarves for ~25 units of mead seems hardly worth it.

I set up 40 hives with split and collect active and let the dwarves run it from there.  Well, the one beekeeper, I don't assign more than one because the beekeeping bug is a pain in the butt.  Anyway, I don't run out of mead.  I ran pretty well with about 25, but when hives come so cheap, might as well go nuts.  Plus, it's funny to see just how many bees you have in the z-stocks.  Wish i could weaponize them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Arbion on September 27, 2011, 10:16:44 am
Breached circus for the first time, and the only survivor that remains is the mayor, waiting for his sentence in the hospital bed..  :'(
I'll never trust my brother again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CaptainBadwheel on September 27, 2011, 01:13:54 pm
Mined adamantine, had the strands extracted, watched in horror as said strands were used to sew up injured dwarfs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on September 27, 2011, 08:32:43 pm
Quote from: CaptainBadwheel on September 27, 2011, 01:13:54 pm
Mined adamantine, had the strands extracted, watched in horror as said strands were used to sew up injured dwarfs.

Quote from: Arbion on September 27, 2011, 10:16:44 am
Breached circus for the first time, and the only survivor that remains is the mayor, waiting for his sentence in the hospital bed..  :'(
I'll never trust my brother again.
I believe we have a pattern here.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on September 27, 2011, 10:25:45 pm
I had a "D" wander into my front gate while I wasn't looking.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tlc2011 on September 28, 2011, 12:52:55 am
A "D"? What
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vester on September 28, 2011, 02:48:24 am
Quote from: Tlc2011 on September 28, 2011, 12:52:55 am
A "D"? What

Either a dragon or an oversized donkey?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on September 28, 2011, 09:32:00 am
Quote from: Vester on September 28, 2011, 02:48:24 am
Quote from: Tlc2011 on September 28, 2011, 12:52:55 am
A "D"? What

Either a dragon or an oversized donkey?

The first one.

A giant, 1,000 year old dragon walked into my front door.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Harke the Boeotarch on September 28, 2011, 12:26:17 pm
Quote from: Arbion on September 27, 2011, 10:16:44 am
Breached circus for the first time, and the only survivor that remains is the mayor, waiting for his sentence in the hospital bed..  :'(
I'll never trust my brother again.

I too, and my mayor was the last one to go as well. I had no idea that I could only mine so much candy before they sent in the clowns.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vault Dweller on September 28, 2011, 03:03:43 pm
Breached the cool place too, except it was on purpose because I got bored of the fortress, yet somehow nothing happened, then because it sounded cool I built stairs to it in an attempt to build future rooms for the nobles of the fortress by walling off and flooring a ceiling over the walls right in the middle of the party. Then all of a sudden, while they were halfway through completing the construction in the cool place, surprise, surprise.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on September 28, 2011, 04:38:56 pm
Just now a Vile Force of Darkness had a date with one of my masons working on a wall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tlc2011 on September 28, 2011, 05:41:14 pm
Quote
Just now a Vile Force of Darkness had a date with one of my masons working on a wall.
Hopefully that won't mean that they are going to have halfdwarf-halfgoblin children
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mrhappyface on September 28, 2011, 10:10:30 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on September 26, 2011, 11:29:08 am
Quote from: Mrhappyface on September 26, 2011, 11:07:51 am
I Once tried to make a mild sedative syndrome that's spread by cats. However, I forgot a few zeroes when setting the ignition point. So instead of mh dwarves yawning, and then taking a peaceful nap, they scream and run around as their body roasts from the inside out.
This is the kind of sedative we should use for insomniacs and Bay12forums mental institutions  :P
A typical attempt at Dwarven !!SCIENCE!! . A complete failure at trying to pacify my populace, yet an epic win in creating a new, even more horrific way to die.  :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on September 28, 2011, 10:30:35 pm
Finally came around and downloaded DF 31.25 with Phoebus' graphics set. After a few hours of rolling new worlds and at last setting up my party, I embarked to an arctic coastal region with the hopes of taming a few of those fancy battle walruses. Food was be scarce, especially since 2/3 of the map was a glacier. Good thing I brought rabbits!

...




Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doomchild- on September 29, 2011, 03:11:20 am
after the damned elves got offended at the fact i tried to trade them rope reed stuff i got off the bodies of the previous elven caravan (which decided the best route out of my fortress was to wrap around the mountain and take the long way out, right into an ambush) and denied me the honey badger i wanted, i snapped and told my militia commander to kill them all (my fortress relies on a heavily trapped entrance for protection, the militia commander is just my old hunter which i use for mopping up any survivers in my dodge trap).
as i watched the elves pack up i noticed a distinct lack of dead elves, searching for my militia commander plants my cursor right in my prison... militia commander jailed for failing to produce bismuth bronze items... my brilliant mayor decided that the violation of his production order was made by the sole defender of the fortress whose only skills are hunting and military skills.
i quickly locked all exits from my fortress and counted down the last week my commander spent in jail.
immediatly upon release he charged out and using his artifact golden crossbow he turned 3 of the 4 elves into bolt-filled corpses and kills 2 of the 4 yaks. having emptied his quiver he proceeds to use his golden crossbow as blunt instrument and starts bashing heads... 40 pages worth of combat... every strike to the head, the 3rd yak leads him across my fortress in a chase worthy of the benny hill theme. suddenly the yak fights back, breaking my commanders leg and ends the fight.
after countless strikes to the head with a golden weapon, the yak leaves the fortress together with last remaining elf and the other remaining yak.

i really wanted that honey badger :(

i was under the impression that gold weapons were decent at blunt damage, either i'm mistaking or that yak had a slade skull >.<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on September 29, 2011, 05:20:20 am
Quote from: Doomchild- on September 29, 2011, 03:11:20 am
i was under the impression that gold weapons were decent at blunt damage, either i'm mistaking or that yak had a slade skull >.<

True gold is actually a 'soft' metal, an alloy is what gives its hardness.

 Its Silver, not gold! (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/DF2010:Weapon#Weapon_Material_Quality)

But the fact that it is an artifact CROSSBOW makes the difference of ranged warfare. Artifacts have a x3  Weapon To-Hit / Armor Deflect Modifier.



And here I am typing all this when I find my fort flooded again...Accursed aquifers. Can't plug em properly...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doomchild- on September 29, 2011, 06:19:31 am
So i just have to make sure my commander is sufficiently supplied with silver bolts... luckily i got a crapton of silver laying around.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZeroSumHappiness on September 29, 2011, 09:45:34 am
Blunt weapons currently only make use of the density of the material (and size and contact area of the weapon.)

Gold should make a better blunt weapon than silver.  Your commander probably has a really crappy hammerdwarf skill level; when used as a blunt instrument, crossbows are counted as hammers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Erkki on September 29, 2011, 10:50:57 am
Quote from: ZeroSumHappiness on September 29, 2011, 09:45:34 am
Blunt weapons currently only make use of the density of the material (and size and contact area of the weapon.)

Gold should make a better blunt weapon than silver.  Your commander probably has a really crappy hammerdwarf skill level; when used as a blunt instrument, crossbows are counted as hammers.

Rather, crossbow is a crap blunt weapon that is attached to the hammer skill. Using actual blunt weapons is a lot more effective than just bashing things with a crossbow's stock...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Quantumtroll on September 29, 2011, 04:58:24 pm
Finally finished a small project to furnish my dwarves with a self-filling water cistern and waterfall, powered by a couple of waterwheels.  I built the waterwheels on the wrong level, and instead of turning they block the flow of water.  Dwarves are drowning, and the dining room is a stone aquarium.  The only way to fix the problem is by consigning more dwarves to a watery grave by deconstructing the confounded waterwheels.  The flooding has probably turned the cistern water salty, too, and I have no way of emptying it without yet another suicidal deconstruction mission. 

Do I sense a tantrum spiral looming?  Oh shiiiiiiiiii....

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWdeV on September 29, 2011, 05:07:13 pm
Three simultaneous goblin ambushes, legendary blacksmith outside, caravan near ambush. Rage-y abandon.

See autosaves. Figure "hey, I reacted too harshly, I need to quit doing that, I'll just reload the autumn autosave instead of the late-autumn proper save".

Do so.

Find out that a) last batch of migrants is yet to arrive and therefore gonna be different. b) military re-organisation had to be done again. c) Last mood (fey glassmaker, green glass table) is gone.

Migrants arrive, weaponsmith amongst them. Before entering he gets hit with a fey mood. (second fey weaponsmith mood).

He grabs a magma forge and picks up a lead bar. Before placing the bar I decide to save, so I can see whether or not the lead item would be worth it. (it wouldn't because even if it was blunt a golden one would be awesome-er).

Try to reload game.


Err, it's not there.


AUUGH IT'S BECAUSE I ABANDONED.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: h.scorpio on September 30, 2011, 01:56:47 am
Quote
and the dining room is a stone aquarium

Oh yeah, water is fun!
I recently did the same by placing the de-pressurizer on the wrong lvl. Unfortunately the killswitch was in the dining room, too. Yeah, seemed like a great idea at that point...

In my current game I built my water supply more carefully, featuring a ~10 z-lvl supply-pipe with access via floodgates and de-pressurizer on each lvl where water was needed. Also, emergency drainage into a cavern, if need be.
When I finally set the darn thing in motion it was working well, except when some dorfs noticed that those floodgates that had been blocking the way were finally gone and tried to get to the surface via the supply-pipe. Others were just admiring the beautiful waterfall I seemingly had built for their regalement.
Needless to say that 10 z-lvls of pressurized water ended those dreams pretty abruptly.
Oh well, at least they died in a state of ecstasy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Quantumtroll on September 30, 2011, 03:02:55 am
Quote from: h.scorpio on September 30, 2011, 01:56:47 am
Quote
and the dining room is a stone aquarium

Oh yeah, water is fun!
I recently did the same by placing the de-pressurizer on the wrong lvl. Unfortunately the killswitch was in the dining room, too. Yeah, seemed like a great idea at that point...
And guess where one of the dwarves decided to die?  Right on top of the floodgate that is supposed to shut the ocean out.  There's no off-button anymore, and all this takes place right underneath my entrance, so I won't even be able to use cave-ins to stem the flood.  *sigh*

As to your dwarves that tried to swim up a pressurized water main, I'm surprised they could even path through deep water.  Ah well, such is the nature of the dwarf! 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on September 30, 2011, 03:07:31 am
I finally rolled the perfect world. Dark elves, accessible volcanoes, an evil forest with a magma lake (glitch)..>!

OH HAI zombie AVG! Are those "8042.prt.sys" guys behind you your friends..?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sebcool on September 30, 2011, 05:59:31 am
Off topic: Hi i'm new  :D

On topic: While extending a cistern trying to prevent a flood, i accidentally channeled down to my workshops, causing a vast wave of ~~FUN~~ *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on September 30, 2011, 11:25:12 am
I accidently breached Deep Fun with no precautions in place (the first stone of Candy I removed exposed the stick) and my military up dealing with a goblin siege.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Komra on September 30, 2011, 01:49:39 pm
Quote from: sebcool on September 30, 2011, 05:59:31 am
Off topic: Hi i'm new  :D

On topic: While extending a cistern trying to prevent a flood, i accidentally channeled down to my workshops, causing a vast wave of !!FUN!! *facepalm*

Unless it was a magma cistern, it's just regular Fun. !! indicates being on fire. Anyway, welcome.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWdeV on September 30, 2011, 04:32:34 pm
It should be ~~fun~~ to indicate it's soggy. The tildes represent waves. :P

Welcome tho'.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: guranda on September 30, 2011, 08:29:03 pm
my baron was being a ass and mandateing all the suff i was trying to sell i set up a mytery lever for him my legendary smith (all the wetle working skills were legendary +5) ran over and pulled it... i forgot to set it to my baron only... i cryed
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on September 30, 2011, 08:34:02 pm
Quote from: guranda on September 30, 2011, 08:29:03 pm
my baron was being a ass and mandateing all the suff i was trying to sell i set up a mytery lever for him my legendary smith (all the wetle working skills were legendary +5) ran over and pulled it... i forgot to set it to my baron only... i cryed
He successfully trolled you to the max.

Lock him in a room with statues in his honor. And let him starve.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on September 30, 2011, 11:17:02 pm
My captain of the guard has the title "The Helmed Band of Cradles".  That's nothing unusual in itself.  How he got it was by killing five dwarves in the name of !!Justice!!  And they're ALL he's killed.  No goblins, no crundles, no badgers.  Just these five dwarves who probably committed minor infractions.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Madventurer on October 01, 2011, 04:14:56 am
Moody weaponsmith makes cotton candy short sword and names it exactly like her name goes... Tosid Dunestown
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Erkki on October 01, 2011, 05:51:37 am
Quote from: Madventurer on October 01, 2011, 04:14:56 am
Moody weaponsmith makes cotton candy short sword and names it exactly like her name goes... Tosid Dunestown

Sarvesh Udiltishis "Sarvesh Lanternspiral" a magnetite coffin by Sarvesh Udiltishis
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sappho on October 01, 2011, 06:34:26 am
I built my pyramid, Sungate, tile-by-tile very soon after 3d came out. About a week after I finally finished it (months and months of labor), Toady released a new version where you could mass-designate constructions. I could probably re-make that pyramid in a few days now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on October 01, 2011, 09:23:33 am
Quote from: Sappho on October 01, 2011, 06:34:26 am
I built my pyramid, Sungate, tile-by-tile very soon after 3d came out. About a week after I finally finished it (months and months of labor), Toady released a new version where you could mass-designate constructions. I could probably re-make that pyramid in a few days now.

Knowing only now that you could do the above. Now...how does one do that?  :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on October 01, 2011, 10:38:22 am
The keys u,m,k and h add tiles to your designations for walls and floors and whatnot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sirdanilot on October 01, 2011, 04:13:29 pm
I still wouldn't call that 'mass designation', as there's a maximum of tiles you can cover that way. But it's surely an improvement.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sappho on October 01, 2011, 05:32:36 pm
Going from being able to designate 1 tile at a time to being able to designate 100 or so in one shot, after building a gigantic pyramid 1 tile at a time for months of my life, yeah, I'd call it mass-designation. But if you want to be picky about semantics, you can say "able to designate multiple tiles in one shot," though it doesn't exactly have the same ring to it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on October 01, 2011, 09:39:33 pm
Quote from: Sappho on October 01, 2011, 05:32:36 pm
"able to designate multiple tiles in one shot,"

Isn't that actually the definition of mass designation?  :-\ Did I miss something? (No, seriously.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Madventurer on October 02, 2011, 02:43:06 am
Noticed that my plump helmets are in surplus. Not enough barrels=Cooking time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on October 02, 2011, 12:02:52 pm
Maybe I should do that as well, yeah.


Also, Zefon somethingsomething the Bone Carver got badgered into a small muddy pool and drowned a few seconds before a Dwarf opened the pool. Her body was destroyed by the flow which is really odd because it was six or seven tiles of 7/7 water at most. Oh well, I'll slab her anyway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MadocComadrin on October 03, 2011, 08:42:48 am
Yeah Fris, slab her. :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Erkki on October 03, 2011, 10:12:21 am
Quote from: FrisianDude on October 02, 2011, 12:02:52 pm
Maybe I should do that as well, yeah.


Also, Zefon somethingsomething the Bone Carver got badgered into a small muddy pool and drowned a few seconds before a Dwarf opened the pool. Her body was destroyed by the flow which is really odd because it was six or seven tiles of 7/7 water at most. Oh well, I'll slab her anyway.

Her body isnt destroyed, just hidden. You'll still find her and all her clothing and equipment in the stockpile menus, you can unforbid them, and your Dwarves will haul them away. Happened to me too with a warrior in all-steel, took me a while to figure it out!  ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spacespinner on October 03, 2011, 11:47:13 am
That would be just now. When I set an order to lower a bridge at the same time as I set an alert to retreat during a siege, then Urist McTriggerhappy decides to go and pull it after I call the all clear, crushing 11 dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: James009 on October 03, 2011, 02:35:23 pm
Found out yesterday I DIDN'T have to designate each bedroom to an individual dwarf :')
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CaptainBadwheel on October 03, 2011, 08:33:33 pm
Had a Miner stuck in traction for THREE YEARS. His profile said he was slow to heal, so I assumed...that...well anyway, back to work you.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spacespinner on October 04, 2011, 12:17:56 am
Sigh.. Latest artifact I've made was a big facepalm moment. Smith claims an anvil to use to make an artifact. I'm sitting here wondering what he's gonna make, and it turns out to be a silver anvil. with a image of a silver anvil on it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 04, 2011, 10:50:35 am
I just lost an hour's work of careful floor-laying to a game crash.  For the second time tonight.  (thankfully i wasn't as far back this time)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Komra on October 04, 2011, 02:15:54 pm
So you had a mood invent electroplating? nice.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nightwhips on October 04, 2011, 04:10:08 pm
Walled in a mason making animal powered watchtowers. Didn't realize. Spend a bit of time figuring out how to get him out. No one wants to do it... finally they do. He's trying to hunt vermin in a 1x1 space. Finally the mason gets the wall down. I start dealing with migrants. "Urdim McReallyThirsty has died of thirst". Half way to the dining hall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CaptainBadwheel on October 04, 2011, 08:39:35 pm
I forgot to stock up on silk and had a military dwarf get a mood then go berserk, he killed two clothiers and bit a baby to death.  When my military got there a swordsdwarf cut off both his arms but he still bit a speardwarf (a one-handed speardwarf at that) and shaking him around for three whole pages throwing in a few kicks here and there. Finally the guy bled to death.  Berserk dwarf in Exceptional Steel Plate=bad.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 05, 2011, 02:17:38 am
My Circus Bunker is demon-proof thanks to everyone having to enter via a floorhatch above them and going down a staircase.  It would help if I'd remembered to lock all the hatches.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on October 05, 2011, 06:08:06 am
A rat monster is beating on an unconcious wrestler.  With a pig tail fiber mitten.  Every blow is deflecting off his cotton candy helm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on October 05, 2011, 10:35:04 am
Quote from: Erkki on October 03, 2011, 10:12:21 am
Quote from: FrisianDude on October 02, 2011, 12:02:52 pm
Maybe I should do that as well, yeah.


Also, Zefon somethingsomething the Bone Carver got badgered into a small muddy pool and drowned a few seconds before a Dwarf opened the pool. Her body was destroyed by the flow which is really odd because it was six or seven tiles of 7/7 water at most. Oh well, I'll slab her anyway.

Her body isnt destroyed, just hidden. You'll still find her and all her clothing and equipment in the stockpile menus, you can unforbid them, and your Dwarves will haul them away. Happened to me too with a warrior in all-steel, took me a while to figure it out!  ;)
You sure? I can't find her.  Neither among corpses nor body parts. Edit, woops, there she is. Not forbidding or anything.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eoganachta on October 05, 2011, 11:22:10 pm
I had one of my archers fall down my dodge-em trap from the balcony above. I really need to install some handrails.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Erkki on October 06, 2011, 07:31:44 am
Quote from: FrisianDude on October 05, 2011, 10:35:04 am
Quote from: Erkki on October 03, 2011, 10:12:21 am
Quote from: FrisianDude on October 02, 2011, 12:02:52 pm
Maybe I should do that as well, yeah.


Also, Zefon somethingsomething the Bone Carver got badgered into a small muddy pool and drowned a few seconds before a Dwarf opened the pool. Her body was destroyed by the flow which is really odd because it was six or seven tiles of 7/7 water at most. Oh well, I'll slab her anyway.

Her body isnt destroyed, just hidden. You'll still find her and all her clothing and equipment in the stockpile menus, you can unforbid them, and your Dwarves will haul them away. Happened to me too with a warrior in all-steel, took me a while to figure it out!  ;)
You sure? I can't find her.  Neither among corpses nor body parts. Edit, woops, there she is. Not forbidding or anything.

The murky pools do that. Are you sure the body and equipment arent forbidden? I have had that happen now twice in this fort: someone dies in murky pool, the pool is dried, but all the stuff is missing (and temperature=off so the water doesnt freeze either). Looking around with the "k" and nothing. Unforbidding the stuff in the stockpile menu, and dwarves come dig them up and haul away.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Communist adventure on October 06, 2011, 11:42:13 pm
I had a catspolsion (i should've remembered to unpause when i go to the bathroom) and all the dwarfs now have a pet and i demand one to butcher another guys cat to decrease the problem then they start fighting injuring other cats. Then everybody gets mad about there cat getting hurt and start killing each other causing more cats to get hurt etc etc. Then goblins come in and snatch all the kids while killing a couple of dwarves and then eventually all the dwarves killed each other.

Losing isn't fun all the time
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: drakon136 on October 06, 2011, 11:49:40 pm
Quote from: Communist adventure on October 06, 2011, 11:42:13 pm
Losing isn't fun all the time
Then you just aren't losing hard enough.
Anyways, in my current fort, I was busy ordering my entire fortress to mine out a huge vein of magnetite I found. All 12 of them were happily digging out ore to turn into iron. Unfortunately, I mined the wrong rock, and caused a cave-in that killed them all.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nightwhips on October 07, 2011, 01:33:16 am
Pink text:

"Urist McUndergroundCheeseHauler has been shot and killed."

What? What the eff? How the...

Ah. Ballista practice. The dorfs decided to start using that corridor again. Also bruised a Bonesman's guts and lamed a different hauler.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on October 07, 2011, 02:00:38 am
Quote from: nightwhips on October 07, 2011, 01:33:16 am
Pink text:

"Urist McUndergroundCheeseHauler has been shot and killed."

What? What the eff? How the...

Ah. Ballista practice. The dorfs decided to start using that corridor again. Also bruised a Bonesman's guts and lamed a different hauler.

You'd probably die if you had a hole several inches in diameter punched through you too >.>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Victuz on October 07, 2011, 07:09:32 am
I finally set up a fully working obsidian farm without any annoying hot spots (that make the place inaccessible) with a good properly working way to get rid of water and all that fun stuff.
I get around 300 blocks of obsidian from it every time I use it. So I thought it's about time my masons started using ONLY obsidian for stuff. I set up proper burrows, proper stockpiles and all that, I knew that if you designate a burrow over a workshop than this workshop is tied to it and uses only the materials in that particular burrow (that's the theory). I gave a job order to produce 60 much needed doors, and went off doing my own thing while this order was being completed.
About an hour later I noticed that the order was completed and started placing doors.
They were all made out of microline... I hate microline

My master mason "accidentally" walked into the obsidian farm that day to find that all 60 microline doors were there AS WELL. Too bad SOMEONE pulled the lever. Oh well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Malarauko on October 07, 2011, 10:20:14 am
KingdomEarth finally has a smooth glass production going. I can now finish my high rise tower complex going down the centre of my fortress. The Elysian Heights Complex will feature two dining rooms, over fifty bedrooms, dedicated kitchens, plentiful food supplies, its own in built security measures, wide corridors and spacious hallways, glass windows allowing fantastic views of the canals and streets of KingdomEarth as well as a special viewing ports allowing unrestricted views of woodlands, caverns and stunning mountain scenes. As well as this the Complex contains its own workshops and resource stockpiles so in the event of isolation from the rest of the fortress life can go on! Basically its the last of my four big housing areas. Each one has fifty rooms and the Tower is probably my most spectacular to date. The other three are increasingly complex but the tower is my Opus Magnus. Its designed to operate as the central staircase as well as being a completely seperate building in its own right.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: blake77 on October 07, 2011, 03:07:13 pm
Quote from: Victuz on October 07, 2011, 07:09:32 am
I finally set up a fully working obsidian farm without any annoying hot spots (that make the place inaccessible) with a good properly working way to get rid of water and all that fun stuff.
I get around 300 blocks of obsidian from it every time I use it. So I thought it's about time my masons started using ONLY obsidian for stuff. I set up proper burrows, proper stockpiles and all that, I knew that if you designate a burrow over a workshop than this workshop is tied to it and uses only the materials in that particular burrow (that's the theory). I gave a job order to produce 60 much needed doors, and went off doing my own thing while this order was being completed.
About an hour later I noticed that the order was completed and started placing doors.
They were all made out of microline... I hate microline

My master mason "accidentally" walked into the obsidian farm that day to find that all 60 microline doors were there AS WELL. Too bad SOMEONE pulled the lever. Oh well.


You are better off using the Stone menu under the status screen. Unfortunately for obsidian, there is a bug that makes it unlisted making impossible to switch from use and not use. There is a workaround posted here http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/DF2010_Talk:Obsidian
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fahgo on October 08, 2011, 12:51:56 pm
So a while back I set up a fort on top of a volcano in frozen tundra. There was also a cave within the embark. Before sealing off the cave I decided to deploy a Rover (read puppy) to see what was down there. Using the usual guidance method of meeting zones, the Rover travelled down through the cave until it reached the bottom... which was the 1st cavern layer. Rover was sent to explore the caverns until eventually an FB turned up and ended its exploration permanently.

I had decided to gen a few more worlds and start forts/adventurers, leaving the frozen volcano fort alone for a while (it was fairly boring. No goblin civ to siege me).

Sometime later I returned to the frozen volcano fort. During a project near the cave i though "Sod it. I'm going to open it up and seal it lower down. Keeps getting in the way". I had forgotten 2 things:
1: There was an FB lurking down there.
2: I hadn't removed the Rovers last meeting point.
So the wall gets mined and half my fort goes charging down there. At first I thought it was web auto collect orders so I switched that off. Nope. Then I see where they are all standing and remember the meeting zone. So I think problem solved. Then the first "Urist McAAAGH has bled to death" message arrives. FFFFFFFFUUUU! So I send my poorly trained and equipped militia to deal with it. Many dead dwarfs and 1 dead FB later I start to tidy up. Then: "Urist McPissedOff cancels doing stuff: Throwing Tantrum!, "Urist McAlsoPissedOff cancels doing stuff: Throwing Tantrum!, "Urist McTotalyPissedOff cancels doing stuff: Gone Berserk! *Sigh*... time to set "construct rock coffin" to repeat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: h.scorpio on October 08, 2011, 04:47:41 pm
Quote
time to set "construct rock coffin" to repeat

Haha, you got it all wrong if you didn't have a workshop on repeat from the very start anyway :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on October 08, 2011, 06:04:03 pm
Quote from: jaxy15 on August 11, 2011, 07:15:11 am
Quote from: Haedrian on August 11, 2011, 07:10:56 am
3 whacks with a -copper pick- and it embeds in my smith's head and kills him.

Justice...
Picks are deadly weapons. Give your CotG's training weapons.
Or ranged weapons, if you want your Guard to be capable of guarding anything. They'll shoot enemies and bash criminals. Fatalities are probably still possible if the RNG hands out a critical hit on an unarmoured skull, but it's a good tradeoff between combat effectiveness and dwarven safety.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serrational on October 09, 2011, 03:58:56 am
Playing Wizard Tower mod, and the overseer orders a man beaten. So, the guards take him to the jail, and kill him in three blows.

The facepalm? I forgot that in Wizard Tower they all have overkill magics firing out the wazoo...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on October 09, 2011, 04:46:50 am
Quote from: h.scorpio on October 08, 2011, 04:47:41 pm
Quote
time to set "construct rock coffin" to repeat

Haha, you got it all wrong if you didn't have a workshop on repeat from the very start anyway :D
Meh, my first mason-shop orders are for doors (R) and tables and chairs (for office and dining room.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Muffindog on October 09, 2011, 01:50:48 pm
Just had one. Started a new fortress on a haunted area of the map. Just got my first wave of immigrants and everything went fine. Then a friend messaged me on skype, and I minimized DF to reply. After typing a short message, I went back to dwarf fortress.

This is what I found.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The thirst icon is my last living miner. Oh well, time for a new fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nightwhips on October 10, 2011, 10:57:09 am
So, after putting the finishing touche on my now drowning chamber/formerly flush trap, a seige shows up. Goodie! Well, I learned a lot and had some !FUN!. Trolls were the first ones into the chamber/hallway, and promptly ripped the floodgates out. Back to having a flush chamber, that didn't work! But it did! Several trolls walking back out over the one tile wide bridge were pushed off and into the river where they drowned. Sweet! But a whole clot of trolls got stuck, with some pathing issue, back in the chamber. So I send in my dwarves to kill them. This killed three of them when THEY FELL OFF THE BRIDGE BECAUSE OF THE ARMOK ****ED WATER. A short while later a CHILD did the same thing. So my flush trap worked. Sorta.

Interestingly, dwarves didn't seem to have much problem moving into the water. It was when they were going back out that they seemed more likely to slip and fall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on October 10, 2011, 11:31:35 am
Quote from: Muffindog on October 09, 2011, 01:50:48 pm
Just had one. Started a new fortress on a haunted area of the map. Just got my first wave of immigrants and everything went fine. Then a friend messaged me on skype, and I minimized DF to reply. After typing a short message, I went back to dwarf fortress.

This is what I found.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The thirst icon is my last living miner. Oh well, time for a new fortress.
So, err, what happened? What are those d's next to the blue arrow? :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Muffindog on October 10, 2011, 03:12:00 pm
Quote from: FrisianDude on October 10, 2011, 11:31:35 am
Quote from: Muffindog on October 09, 2011, 01:50:48 pm
Just had one. Started a new fortress on a haunted area of the map. Just got my first wave of immigrants and everything went fine. Then a friend messaged me on skype, and I minimized DF to reply. After typing a short message, I went back to dwarf fortress.

This is what I found.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The thirst icon is my last living miner. Oh well, time for a new fortress.
So, err, what happened? What are those d's next to the blue arrow? :P

Just skeletal deer :D The dead d is my poor dog... The weirdest thing is that my woodcutter managed to fend off a pack of skeletal wolves, but the deer seem to instantly kill my dorfs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jc6036 on October 10, 2011, 03:22:00 pm
It's the hooves, man. I'll never forget that day, man, they were coming at up from behind the trees, our bullets just passin' right through them. *shudder* I still have nightmares, man.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on October 10, 2011, 04:02:07 pm
Quote from: Muffindog on October 10, 2011, 03:12:00 pm
Just skeletal deer :D The dead d is my poor dog... The weirdest thing is that my woodcutter managed to fend off a pack of skeletal wolves, but the deer seem to instantly kill my dorfs.

DF is funny in that way. An seasoned adventurer can fend off giant wildcats and scorpions, wandering trolls, goblin ambushes, and even boogeymen, only to have his ears torn off in open combat with a lone rabid horse. For whatever reason, Toady decided to code the system to favor large herbivores and livestock. Armok spare us the day they rise up and rebel.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZeroSumHappiness on October 10, 2011, 04:24:05 pm
Four legs good.  Two legs bad.  Four legs good.  Two legs bad.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on October 10, 2011, 04:31:15 pm
Hooooooly shit I just made a pretty big mistake. I'd sent my c-melee squad (led by my mayor!) to practice on caged Orggg (Giant Olm, Giant rat, 3x goblin) but I forgot to take the goblins' gear. All of them were lashers. Err. Yeah. I'd rushed in a,b,d squads as well because the lashers in no time had my mayor and another Dwarf wounded and down. One of the lashers almost escaped but ran into a stray badger (which got enraged) and a war grizzly (which smacked the goblin down) and eventually died there, the others were defeated later. I had to bring seven warriors into my hospital because I forgot to take three whips. Okay, one of those was a scourge.

Also, my malevolent munchkins thought it was a good idea to spread those seven wounded over four beds. Mayor on one, another Dwarf on another bed, yet another on yet another, and the remaning four plonked together on one bed. Despite there being three, four free beds.  ::)

Quote from: Ibid Straydrink on October 10, 2011, 04:02:07 pm
For whatever reason, Toady decided to code the system to favor large herbivores and livestock. Armok spare us the day they rise up and rebel.
I'd almost be inclined to say that that's realism. Any single cow can easily turn a man into a nothing but a damp red spot in the mud, if only the cow'd realize. :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on October 10, 2011, 04:36:56 pm
The combat system favours large herbivores because they're big (an adult donkey is 1/5 bigger than an adult troll) and don't suffer so much from not having their particular body type taken into account. Alligators bite you with human-proportioned teeth in a human-proportioned head attached to a human-proportioned body they can't use, which cuts down on their effectiveness somewhat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on October 10, 2011, 05:23:25 pm
Which is why he next ought to edit carnivores and their ilk to array themselves with a compliment of full iron armor and weapons.

Makes sense, right?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: YetAnotherStupidDorf on October 10, 2011, 05:46:57 pm
Nah, he (I assume Toady) just should give proper jaws to alligators. With recognizable characteristics properly handled by combat engine. And long necks for giraffes while he is at it. Shame no one sponsored giraffe, he would be then forced to do it, heh, heh, heh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wannazzaki on October 10, 2011, 05:48:11 pm
Making animals behave 'right' for their apparent anatomy would make the large two legged birds in warm form one hilarious string of disembowelments and enraged squawking.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on October 10, 2011, 08:28:10 pm
Quote from: Ibid Straydrink on October 10, 2011, 05:23:25 pm
Which is why he next ought to edit carnivores and their ilk to array themselves with a compliment of full iron armor and weapons.

Makes sense, right?
Er... no.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rosareven on October 10, 2011, 10:26:23 pm
Flooded two fortresses trying to make a well because I was still learning how water pressure works.

My fiance called it dorf bath.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on October 10, 2011, 11:09:01 pm
Quote from: rosareven on October 10, 2011, 10:26:23 pm
Flooded two fortresses trying to make a well because I was still learning how water pressure works.

My fiance called it dorf bath.

Yeah, I lost the only productive fortress I every really loved to dwarf bathing.

I recommend you use two floodgates with separate switches and a temporary reservoir between them when you fill a well reservoir, as well as the "checkered pipe" technique somewhere along the line to those two. It is also a good idea to have a section of your water pipe that goes down one level, then rises back up through a grate to prevent monsters (which cannot destroy things on a different z-axis) from coming out of your well.

Nothing worse than goblins in the tap.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MadocComadrin on October 11, 2011, 08:56:55 am
Fortifications also work pretty well in that regard.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wannazzaki on October 11, 2011, 01:07:57 pm
One of my earliest forts went to hell because i didn't know about aquefiers. "Im just going to go ahead and put this grate in the groun-OH GOD A DWARF WAS SHOT INTO THE AIR BY THE TORRENT".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stil on October 11, 2011, 03:13:31 pm
Used a pump to bring water from the river into a higher floor (still underground) for farming. I made a slight miscalculation with the pump, it was placed but water managed to flood back through the diagonal and wash my dwarf out to alligator infested territory :/
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rosareven on October 11, 2011, 03:48:51 pm
Quote from: MadocComadrin on October 11, 2011, 08:56:55 am
Fortifications also work pretty well in that regard.
Creatures can still pass through fortification if the water level is 7. I learned it the practical way by using fortification instead of wall grate to cut the carpenter some slack, but the carps still went through. Then I realised the wiki mentions such.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ibid Straydrink on October 11, 2011, 06:43:12 pm
Quote from: rosareven on October 11, 2011, 03:48:51 pm
Quote from: MadocComadrin on October 11, 2011, 08:56:55 am
Fortifications also work pretty well in that regard.
Creatures can still pass through fortification if the water level is 7. I learned it the practical way by using fortification instead of wall grate to cut the carpenter some slack, but the carps still went through. Then I realised the wiki mentions such.

Hrm... What would happen if you trapped the trespassers in a long hall of 7/7 flooded fortifications, then drained it through a barred wall? Would the ones on and surrounded by fortifications be permanently stuck? Would just go "GLUG!" and die..?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Telgin on October 11, 2011, 06:59:55 pm
Had a face palm moment a few days ago when I went through the trouble of digging down to the magma sea for the first time in the hopes of setting up my first magma pump stack.  Then I realized I had no way of making magma safe corkscrews.  :(  So I either try again on another fort or spend the next forever trading for steel anvils to melt down...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ieb on October 12, 2011, 12:46:36 am
Glass is magma-safe. Also a lot cheaper and easily acquired than crap-to-melt.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on October 12, 2011, 01:16:20 am
<wrong thread>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on October 12, 2011, 02:37:23 am
Quote from: Ibid Straydrink on October 11, 2011, 06:43:12 pm
Quote from: rosareven on October 11, 2011, 03:48:51 pm
Quote from: MadocComadrin on October 11, 2011, 08:56:55 am
Fortifications also work pretty well in that regard.
Creatures can still pass through fortification if the water level is 7. I learned it the practical way by using fortification instead of wall grate to cut the carpenter some slack, but the carps still went through. Then I realised the wiki mentions such.

Hrm... What would happen if you trapped the trespassers in a long hall of 7/7 flooded fortifications, then drained it through a barred wall? Would the ones on and surrounded by fortifications be permanently stuck? Would just go "GLUG!" and die..?
I think they might get pushed through the fortification, but I'm not sure. Saw something like that in a fort of my brother's once, a goblin was pushed through either a wall grate or a fortification by a diverted river. And then clung on for dear life before eventually going down the drain and crashing to a bloody death in his cavern.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MadocComadrin on October 12, 2011, 07:46:21 am
Quote from: rosareven on October 11, 2011, 03:48:51 pm
Creatures can still pass through fortification if the water level is 7. I learned it the practical way by using fortification instead of wall grate to cut the carpenter some slack, but the carps still went through. Then I realised the wiki mentions such.
Aye, true, but grates are vulnerable to building destroyers. Likewise, designing the well with one level of open space between the well and the water should be enough to prevent carp incidents (and ice deconstruction). I suppose ideally, you'd want fortifications followed by a grate, but until we get some sort of swimming, flying building-destroyer, I don't think there's that much to worry about.

Quote from: FrisianDude on October 12, 2011, 02:37:23 am
I think they might get pushed through the fortification, but I'm not sure. Saw something like that in a fort of my brother's once, a goblin was pushed through either a wall grate or a fortification by a diverted river. And then clung on for dear life before eventually going down the drain and crashing to a bloody death in his cavern.
Aye, flowing water can sometimes push things through (even if it's not 7/7).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWdeV on October 12, 2011, 08:46:51 am
The bastard's corpse eventually was flushed off the map, which meant I couldn't even loot it.  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWellTrainedFerret on October 12, 2011, 03:46:10 pm
I feel like a total noob right now. I Gen'd a world that has a surface volcano that's >not< a 200 z-level high magma spire. I other words, the magma is immediately available for use without complicated draining. I was so ecstatic about this embark that I forgot to set my plump helmets not to be cooked. Now I have enough prepared meals to last the winter, but after that I'm kinda screwed. The mountain home trade caravan already left and I have no other trading civs to barter food or seeds off of.

Now I have 2 options: try and forage in the caves (not a good idea: the small area I have already seen is infested with trolls and giant cave spiders) or I can try and down some elephants...with the one sworddwarf in my new fort military.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stil on October 12, 2011, 04:13:57 pm
Spear and training spear - two different things in equip menu. Months wasted!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on October 12, 2011, 06:36:16 pm
Quote from: AWdeV on October 12, 2011, 08:46:51 am
The bastard's corpse eventually was flushed off the map, which meant I couldn't even loot it.  ::)
That doesn't happen, as far as I know. What does happen is that water flow pushes items around and hides them. You can see them in the stocks screen and your dwarves can interact with them, but you can't see them by examining the tile they're on. Try finding the corpse in the stocks screen, it should be there and zoomable to even if you can't see it yourself.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UristMcDwarfy on October 12, 2011, 08:33:02 pm
I haven't been playing for very long, so you can imagine my excitement when I finally got a good start in the beginning.

So there I was, just beginning to get my fortress off the ground, when I start getting notifications about my dwarfs having their work interrupted. I feared it to be something bad, bad enough to endanger the entire livelihood of the fort. I pictured Boatmurdered.

I zoomed to the location to see... a deer.

I figured it wouldn't be much of a problem and unpaused the game, choosing to see how this would play out. It was just a deer, right?

This deer single-handedly stopped almost all production in my fort because it rampaged through the only hall connecting the surface to my Dwarf's workshops. It stopped them from working, pushing them aside as it rushed through the halls, and kicked my Dwarf's teeth out for crying out loud. Blood was strewn across the halls.

Quickly seeing the damage done, I rallied the dwarfs into a single squad and sent them into glorious battle, most without even a weapon.

They chased this deer for a good two minutes up and down the halls, punching, kicking, and wrestling until this thing finally collapsed from a damaged lung.

My only decent carpenter Dwarf now has two broken feet and no teeth along with other miscellaneous wounds shared by the other Dwarfs, and it's taken so long for them to kill it that they are behind on the harvest and don't have nearly enough space for the migrants flooding through.

I hate this game.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ultimuh on October 12, 2011, 08:53:38 pm
Quote from: UristMcDwarfy on October 12, 2011, 08:33:02 pm
I haven't been playing for very long, so you can imagine my excitement when I finally got a good start in the beginning.

So there I was, just beginning to get my fortress off the ground, when I start getting notifications about my dwarfs having their work interrupted. I feared it to be something bad, bad enough to endanger the entire livelihood of the fort. I pictured Boatmurdered.

I zoomed to the location to see... a deer.

I figured it wouldn't be much of a problem and unpaused the game, choosing to see how this would play out. It was just a deer, right?

This deer single-handedly stopped almost all production in my fort because it rampaged through the only hall connecting the surface to my Dwarf's workshops. It stopped them from working, pushing them aside as it rushed through the halls, and kicked my Dwarf's teeth out for crying out loud. Blood was strewn across the halls.

Quickly seeing the damage done, I rallied the dwarfs into a single squad and sent them into glorious battle, most without even a weapon.

They chased this deer for a good two minutes up and down the halls, punching, kicking, and wrestling until this thing finally collapsed from a damaged lung.

My only decent carpenter Dwarf now has two broken feet and no teeth along with other miscellaneous wounds shared by the other Dwarfs, and it's taken so long for them to kill it that they are behind on the harvest and don't have nearly enough space for the migrants flooding through.

I hate this game.

It's things like this that makes keeping an eye on this thread so much worth it.  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Karnewarrior on October 12, 2011, 09:04:23 pm
Quote from: UristMcDwarfy on October 12, 2011, 08:33:02 pm
deer.

I hate this game.
I love this game.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nightwhips on October 12, 2011, 10:39:07 pm
A forgotten beast made only of flame has fried the entire second cavern level and roasted my only decent siege engineer after he knocked its square shell off (actually, his head melted. OW.). It has killed at least one other dwarf. But my hauler, who styles himself a Bone Carver (Very Rusty but Adequate), appears to be wearing asbestos XX(pig tail loin cloth)XX. He's taken four direct(?) flame blasts, and has NO WOUNDS.

WHY NOT MY SIEGE ENGINEER????
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: h.scorpio on October 13, 2011, 03:08:24 am
Quote
Now I have 2 options: try and forage in the caves (not a good idea: the small area I have already seen is infested with trolls and giant cave spiders) or I can try and down some elephants...with the one sworddwarf in my new fort military.

Or you could collect plants from the outside world (if you have at least some vegetation) and try some outside farming.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on October 13, 2011, 04:09:11 am
Or just kill the trolls and the spidahs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWdeV on October 13, 2011, 06:29:49 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on October 12, 2011, 06:36:16 pm
Quote from: AWdeV on October 12, 2011, 08:46:51 am
The bastard's corpse eventually was flushed off the map, which meant I couldn't even loot it.  ::)
That doesn't happen, as far as I know. What does happen is that water flow pushes items around and hides them. You can see them in the stocks screen and your dwarves can interact with them, but you can't see them by examining the tile they're on. Try finding the corpse in the stocks screen, it should be there and zoomable to even if you can't see it yourself.

Really? Good to know. Point is moot now anyway because that was a fort a while ago. Which I abandoned and deleted from saves. :P


Anyway, I'm working on pumping up water from my caverns into a reservoir quite a while up. All 26 pumps are in place and accessible (although that could do with some improvement) and I have a veritable legion of idlers idling. I noticed there was a small gap in the way I set it up. So I built a wall and moved the pump on the level above a square back. Hole fixed, commence pumping.

Moving that pump created a new hole and damn near drowned a weaponsmith. *smack forehead*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on October 13, 2011, 08:06:12 am
A forgotten beast humanoid of ash came and died without trouble. Almost directly afterwards a hairy nematode came and killed three of the Constructive Savants, a marksdwarf group, and a fourth one was wounded heavily and seems to be bleeding to death. Someone is coming to pick her up though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on October 13, 2011, 09:56:35 am
Spoiler: Ops, fire (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Telgin on October 13, 2011, 05:53:22 pm
Quote from: Ieb on October 12, 2011, 12:46:36 am
Glass is magma-safe. Also a lot cheaper and easily acquired than crap-to-melt.

Will have to consider this.  I unfortunately don't have any sand on my map, so I'd have to buy it instead, but that's probably faster and cheaper than melting anvils.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: blake77 on October 13, 2011, 06:29:32 pm
You can also make your pumps out of nether-cap. Since they have a fixed temperature, they should be magma safe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Captain Mayhem on October 14, 2011, 01:35:20 am
Note to self: Never assign 25+ wardogs to your single, danger room trained, steel clad, legendary, squad leading axedwarf, if the rest of the squad are novices with bronze armor and silver warhammers.

He got a bit blue when half of his dogs died in his first battle. I got a bit blue five seconds later when he berserked and decided to claim one dwarven life for every dog that died.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on October 14, 2011, 02:56:13 am
He should train army of dogs, trained animals follow their masters without counting as pet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on October 14, 2011, 06:14:57 am
It is double post, but...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Seraphim342 on October 14, 2011, 12:33:54 pm
My most epic facepalm moment so far was learning about the Hidden Fun Stuff on the Wiki before fully understanding what Fun meant.  The description there and my own ignorance led me to believe that it was some kind of epic siege, and more to the point, survivable.  Something this challenging, I imagined, must have great rewards.  So I started mining Adamantium, thinking that a long line of cage traps between the dig site and my fortress would keep me completely safe, as they worked for the 3 Goblin sieges I had been through up to this point... wth predictable results. 

Finals score:
Dwarves 0
Fun 95
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haspen on October 14, 2011, 02:39:53 pm
Quote from: Seraphim342 on October 14, 2011, 12:33:54 pm
My most epic facepalm moment so far was learning about the Hidden Fun Stuff on the Wiki before fully understanding what Fun meant.  The description there and my own ignorance led me to believe that it was some kind of epic siege, and more to the point, survivable.  Something this challenging, I imagined, must have great rewards.  So I started mining Adamantium, thinking that a long line of cage traps between the dig site and my fortress would keep me completely safe, as they worked for the 3 Goblin sieges I had been through up to this point... wth predictable results. 

Finals score:
Dwarves 0
Fun 95

Welcome to FUN, enjoy your stay quick death :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Seraphim342 on October 14, 2011, 03:30:49 pm
Oh, and figuring out that I didn't have to manually assign each dwarf a bed. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: person012345 on October 14, 2011, 06:31:52 pm
Discovering Shift + Enter when designating large areas of flooring to be built, even more so because it says it on the screen and I still didn't get it. Pressing enter 100 times individually was a pain in the ass.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: proxn_punkd on October 14, 2011, 08:42:41 pm
Running DF Prospector and discovering that the only metal ore on my fort's site is sphalerite.

ALL OF THE ZINC.

ALL OF THEM.

Maybe if I make fancy stuff with it I can trade it for bronze/steel.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kardwill on October 15, 2011, 04:04:07 am
Finding out that the thing that messed up every one of my custom animal/prisonner stockpiles in the last 4-5 fortresses was the hidden stones... And I always clear them from the furniture or wood stockpiles, too, so it's not as if I didn't know they mess up the non bin/barrel stocks
*Facedesk*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on October 15, 2011, 04:51:20 am
For some reason a trap triggered to kill animals being taken to pasture. It's wounded quite a lot already (including two lambs and a baby alpaca. :() and a lamb and a stray war horse suffocated due to their wounds.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flodeklojo on October 15, 2011, 07:06:01 am
just made a magma cistern and filled it up. In the middle of it is my central staircase, surrounded by a wall of course.
"Time to channel out the tiles above the magma so i can build those furnaces..."
*channels out tiles next to stairs* ... magma levels drop ... "hmmm, what's going on?" ... sees his mistake ... *facepalm*

So i punched through my cistern wall and the magma is now flowing down my staircase. Luckily that part of the fort is unused.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWdeV on October 15, 2011, 04:26:46 pm
Thrice damned evil cave crocodiles and bloody stupid dwarfs.

Cave crocodile appears. Murders the fuck out of random idiot #1. I send marksdwarf squad down to murder it. I don't pay attention because it's a solid 50 z-levels down through several passages and the game is slow. Militia Captain seems to be in front. He's an elite marksdwarf.

I look away for a minute.

Wrestler is dead. A recruit, shot once or twice, got mauled, became wrestler, died. Elite marksdwarf militia captain? Went back up thirty stairs to "store item in bin".


HAAAATE.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pandimo on October 15, 2011, 09:48:05 pm
Mason locked away for ages, finally emerges having constructed the awesome Atolteshkad Ruthoshfastam, the...

door.

phyrite, btw.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ultimuh on October 15, 2011, 09:50:09 pm
Quote from: Pandimo on October 15, 2011, 09:48:05 pm
Mason locked away for ages, finally emerges having constructed the awesome Atolteshkad Ruthoshfastam, the...

door.

phyrite, btw.

Let some noble have it for his/her room.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWellTrainedFerret on October 16, 2011, 12:47:21 am
Oh man, I'm on a roll with this current fort. It's year 6, and periodically for some strange reason the raise brudge I use to seal off the bottom cavern level seems to keep lowering it's automatically. Only one death so far thanks to the military who have managed to efficiently kill off herds of Drathas, a Cave Croc, a few Giant Moles, and one FB who was made of nothing but feathers and vomited webs.
But I have just realized the problem. That bridge is linked to two levers: the one it's supposed to be linked to...and the lever opening my trade depot.
I have no clue how this happened.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ultimuh on October 16, 2011, 12:48:39 am
Quote from: AWellTrainedFerret on October 16, 2011, 12:47:21 am
I have no clue how this happened.

Well.. It does.. happen..  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on October 16, 2011, 04:00:07 am
.. sigh. As I was building a washing-station two of my Dwarfs were pushed into the lake beneath it by the water coming from above (which I shouldn't have opened yet). One of them simply trudged out and the other drowned one tile away from a ramp to oxygen JUST at the moment where I was saying "hurry up or you'll drown." She was a surgeon, too, and I don't think I can reclaim the body because the lake is attached to an underground sea.

Edit; phew. I should pay better attention to when I pit goblins, because the last one fell from -46 to -60 to land on top of one of my Dwarfs, causing both to be stunned (but survive without wounds) and the Goblin then almost had another chance at murdering another Dwarf but luckily he caged himself instead of killing anyone. I think he'll get a do-over.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Clutzy on October 16, 2011, 12:11:25 pm
Just after Lullgilt was finished with one siege, another with over a hundred gobbos and trolls comes along. As my military is decimated I decided it when the cage traps couldn't work I would then close the doors and hole up. It wasn't until one particular section got over-run and I had a look-see to discover a stairway that I had completely forgotten. This meant I had no hatch covers. *facepalm* So ends Lullgilt. Because of lack of hatch covers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nil Athelion on October 16, 2011, 01:21:45 pm
I decided to assault some special place with my herd of legendary militia.  Took me a while to find a way down, and I channeled a lot of holes into the magma sea so Dwarven echolocation would work.  The assault didn't go that great, and while my soldiers died, I walled it all off behind three layers of constructed wall.

So at least I was safe.

And then there were horrible horrible things running around all over the lower levels.  I later figured out that I had turned off the temperature in a previous fort for frame-rate reasons, and my unwanted guests were simply swimming through the magma sea to all the listening holes.  Oh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on October 16, 2011, 01:42:23 pm
Put grates over your "listening holes".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on October 16, 2011, 01:54:04 pm
I have a burrow that encompasses the whole map bar a section of corridor that is used to run enemies. Not only did I forget to switch the burrow on, but a bogeyman-loving planter wandered into the corridor just in time to plant himself in the ten squares between the military and the opposition. I like to think that he realised that without day and night cycles in the fortress he would have no way of ever seeing the object of his fascination, so he decided to go out with a bang observing the antics of something even better.

On the plus side, I did learn about the limitations of steel armour and now have an even healthier respect for the defensive capabilities of my steel-clad military.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Orky_Boss on October 16, 2011, 05:56:09 pm
In my current (Also my first) fort, at the beginning, when I had decided to begin mining for metal and gems and other @#$%, i had only dug 3 layers and had found 'something' called hematite. Surprised I had already hit something, I decided to ignore it. If I had already found it within the first 3 layers under my fort, it couldn't be that important for my fort, right?

right?

Well, about a year later, after I had a troglyte-whatever problom that cost me a few dwarves, I decided it was about time to see my smelter was capable of making any metal so I could get some weapons and armor for my damn militia (It's still full of peewee scout recruits, so I don't think they deserve to be considered a proper military yet). I click 'add new task' and find right underneath 'smelt metal object' 'smelt hematite ore'. I decide to see where it is, and see it near my starting dig point. After that I looked up hematite in the wiki and found out that it was an ore for iron.

In other words, I have been digging around to find copper or silver so I can make my first basic weapons, only to realize a year later that I've had @#$%ing iron hiding in plain sight.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nil Athelion on October 16, 2011, 07:32:05 pm
So my current fortress is composed of mountain (cliffs) bordering lake and terrifying woodland.  So that my fishermen would be safe, I dug a hole out of the cliff so they could fish away from all the scary stuff.  Unfortunately, the lake is temperate, and froze over.  I dug out a pit for a draw-bridge to go over, but it wasn't completed when I found this werewolf running around my fortress, chasing people.  I am pondering my options, and hoping I can trap it with some forbidden doors when he chases a whole slew of my dwarves down the hallway, and out onto the ice.

Now the ice has melted.  Remind me to not let werewolves chase people around, and to at least have a lockable door so that this stuff doesn't happen.  Having my one legendary miner drowning is a bit too much fun for me.

Why facepalm?  Because I left the door open so the dwarves outside could get back inside, because I was under the impression that werewolves did not go indoors.

(The kicker?  The werewolf didn't drown - he left the map on the lake-bed, exploring east.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BeforeLifer on October 16, 2011, 08:46:59 pm
Quote from: Orky_Boss on October 16, 2011, 05:56:09 pm
In my current (Also my first) fort, at the beginning, when I had decided to begin mining for metal and gems and other @#$%, i had only dug 3 layers and had found 'something' called hematite. Surprised I had already hit something, I decided to ignore it. If I had already found it within the first 3 layers under my fort, it couldn't be that important for my fort, right?

right?

Well, about a year later, after I had a troglyte-whatever problom that cost me a few dwarves, I decided it was about time to see my smelter was capable of making any metal so I could get some weapons and armor for my damn militia (It's still full of peewee scout recruits, so I don't think they deserve to be considered a proper military yet). I click 'add new task' and find right underneath 'smelt metal object' 'smelt hematite ore'. I decide to see where it is, and see it near my starting dig point. After that I looked up hematite in the wiki and found out that it was an ore for iron.

In other words, I have been digging around to find copper or silver so I can make my first basic weapons, only to realize a year later that I've had @#$%ing iron hiding in plain sight.
Welcome to DF my freind, You can put your sanity infront of the giant dwarf and here is your complemtary ‼MAGMA‼ bath! *pulls lever*
Quote from: Nil Athelion on October 16, 2011, 07:32:05 pm
So my current fortress is composed of mountain (cliffs) bordering lake and terrifying woodland.  So that my fishermen would be safe, I dug a hole out of the cliff so they could fish away from all the scary stuff.  Unfortunately, the lake is temperate, and froze over.  I dug out a pit for a draw-bridge to go over, but it wasn't completed when I found this werewolf running around my fortress, chasing people.  I am pondering my options, and hoping I can trap it with some forbidden doors when he chases a whole slew of my dwarves down the hallway, and out onto the ice.

Now the ice has melted.  Remind me to not let werewolves chase people around, and to at least have a lockable door so that this stuff doesn't happen.  Having my one legendary miner drowning is a bit too much fun for me.

Why facepalm?  Because I left the door open so the dwarves outside could get back inside, because I was under the impression that werewolves did not go indoors.

(The kicker?  The werewolf didn't drown - he left the map on the lake-bed, exploring east.)

Ya did you know that if a miner is drowning i think he can a stairwell to get him out, not sure but if you dig a up staircause and a down staircause next to the pound i think he can both dig that out and use it. Not sure for the firs though. But if you got a miner nearby just dig a channel, much faster and easier.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Theifofdreams on October 16, 2011, 10:20:01 pm
Also your morals and normal ethics will be carved into fine statuesque works of art, and then sunk to the bottom of the magma sea.
Here we have !!Fun!!, !!Science!!, and !!Magma!! to replace those. We find they work better.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JDF117 on October 16, 2011, 10:53:42 pm
 Building a wall around my fortress, then having goblins stand on top of it and shoot at my dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on October 17, 2011, 01:32:17 am
Quote from: JDF117 on October 16, 2011, 10:53:42 pm
Building a wall around my fortress, then having goblins stand on top of it and shoot at my dwarves.

Building wall and tower (covered with roof) to kill goblins standing on wall , then siege with [FLIER] tag arrived and decided to sit on top of roofed tower, scaring everyone in entire fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wannazzaki on October 17, 2011, 06:40:40 am
Quote from: Kogut on October 17, 2011, 01:32:17 am
Quote from: JDF117 on October 16, 2011, 10:53:42 pm
Building a wall around my fortress, then having goblins stand on top of it and shoot at my dwarves.

Building wall and tower (covered with roof) to kill goblins standing on wall , then siege with [FLIER] tag arrived and decided to sit on top of roofed tower, scaring everyone in entire fort.

One long, winding trapped to buggery (or sealable) kill corridor will make fliers path into it because they are retarded and nullifies any and all damage flying actually does. Except flying megabeasts like rocs. They full well know your wall is weak and they will exploit it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ClkWrkJester on October 17, 2011, 01:15:25 pm
Setting an area to be sealed off in preparation for becoming a magma cistern, getting distracted for a day, then next day just turning on the pumps without checking it.  2 babies, 4 dwarves, and a bucketload of kittens died instantly because they were walled in
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wannazzaki on October 17, 2011, 01:15:44 pm
Dear Urist McButtfuck.

I know that my axedwarf if complaining about mismatched equipment and i appreciate you picking up his axe he refuses to use, despite the fact it is masterwork adamantine. I know you wan't to chase after the guy who got the mithril cleaver from the slade tower. I KNOW that you are a bit stupid. But for the love of god must you strip the adamantine gauntlets and boots off the other guys after removing the station and they briefly revert to the civvie professions and then DROP THEM ON THE FLOOR before walking away. The undead will enjoy their gifts at any rate.

Sincerely, your apoplectic Overseer.

Wrong thrad but applicable..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deimos56 on October 17, 2011, 02:50:08 pm
I just recently remembered that the wooden spike trap components are NOT good for use in a danger zone.

I remembered this because of what happened when I activated it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to find 3 new militia member and to rename that room the 'Extra Danger Room'
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Romeofalling on October 17, 2011, 06:27:22 pm
My Horse Foal is no longer enraged.

WTF?

And why does Mommy Horse have a bruised brain?

Check Reports....

Apparently, Bulls don't get along well with other animals...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: raptorfangamer on October 17, 2011, 06:29:51 pm
well, I did my first stone layer aquifer fort, I wanted to drain out a non-aquifer soil layer, and got some hatches in case it actually was an aquifer layer... turns out I sealed my fort with water, at which then tried to fix by raging and trying to break the covers with a mudstone tower I built over the hollow the plug (to strike beneath the watery death) left, didn't work out and killed a master miner...
your settlement was abandoned
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ImaDwarf on October 17, 2011, 08:02:47 pm
Two of my starting seven are now dead, with another seriously injured, due to my inability to make a mist generator.  *Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BeforeLifer on October 17, 2011, 10:58:10 pm
That is why you wait till you got 40+ to make one in the meeting hall lol
Also make sure you use disposable dwarves :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Romeofalling on October 18, 2011, 03:53:22 am
Quote from: ImaDwarf on October 17, 2011, 08:02:47 pm
Two of my starting seven are now dead, with another seriously injured, due to my inability to make a mist generator.  *Facepalm*

I share your pain. I've been trying since 40d.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on October 18, 2011, 04:24:24 am
Quote from: ImaDwarf on October 17, 2011, 08:02:47 pm
Two of my starting seven are now dead, with another seriously injured, due to my inability to make a mist generator.  *Facepalm*
Wait. They are dead due to badly designed construction of mist generator?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hjd_uk on October 18, 2011, 09:24:35 am
"and now all thats left is to pierce the aquifer...."
The simple Fun of water-pressure.

Incidentally an experiment with damp-stone lead to a room being flooded to 7/7 and being forever sealed off with a bulging, soggy, leaking door. I imagine a simple sign in runes "Do not open, ever, aquatic fort-death herein"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spacespinner on October 18, 2011, 10:42:12 am
My MALE Militia captain named the squad "the helmed women". I'm now extremely concerned about him(her?)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on October 18, 2011, 12:23:52 pm
Quote from: Spacespinner on October 18, 2011, 10:42:12 am
My MALE Militia captain named the squad "the helmed women". I'm now extremely concerned about him(her?)
He and/or she may have a problem. Check his relationships.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on October 18, 2011, 03:25:04 pm
Concern? Problems? He is, in finest military tradition, calling his underlings girls. He may proceed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MadocComadrin on October 18, 2011, 03:35:51 pm
Quote from: Spacespinner on October 18, 2011, 10:42:12 am
My MALE Militia captain named the squad "the helmed women". I'm now extremely concerned about him(her?)
He's giving you a hint to fill up the rest of the squad with women, so they can "train."

Also, battle babies.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Clutzy on October 18, 2011, 04:51:52 pm
Oh hey, a leopard that's annoying the crew. Well that shouldn't be a problem...

*Three minutes pass*

Skilled Axedwarf dead, Expert Markmen dead, Military Commander struck with melancholy. Leopard unscathed.

Well hell's belles.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: alphawolf29 on October 18, 2011, 05:13:20 pm
Quote from: ImaDwarf on October 17, 2011, 08:02:47 pm
Two of my starting seven are now dead, with another seriously injured, due to my inability to make a mist generator.  *Facepalm*

"We need a mist generator."
"Shouldn't we setup sustainable farming and housing before embarking on something that could potentially kill us all for almost no value whatsoever?"
"We need a mist generator.
"You make a strong argument....make it so."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Romeofalling on October 18, 2011, 06:42:21 pm
When 20 migrants showed up with a herd of animals, I figured it was time to figure out what this whole "pasture" thing in the latest version was (I haven't touched the game since 40d). Oh, and hey, what the heck is a Beekeeper? And what does this High Master Potter do? And I got a High Master Glassmaker!

In fact, I was so busy playing with all the new industries....that I forgot to build any defense.

*facepalm*

6 goblins show up. It's okay, I'll just let the caravan guards deal with it.

Only, elves don't bring any guards.

*facepalm*

After they kill off half my dwarves and butcher all my livestock, I figure it is time to save-scum.

Nearest save happened before the last immigrant wave.

The new batch doesn't have anybody above Novice skill in anything.

*headdesk*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tryrar on October 18, 2011, 07:14:52 pm
Oh hey, siege engineer dies of thirst...so I zoom body. He's on top of a wall....with no access to the top. AT ALL. Que facepalm and questions of "HOW the HELL did he got up there?!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BeforeLifer on October 18, 2011, 07:30:40 pm
Sometimes you can have creatures dodge attacks and go UP levels, There have been danger room dwarfs that are on the top of a piller with 10 spears dodge 5 spaces away because if you dodge 5 times, you move 5 spaces at once, and they end up on the wall surronding the danger room.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on October 19, 2011, 02:32:58 am
Iteb Regtesok likes slade, adamantine, yellow diamonds ...perfect mayor
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: person012345 on October 19, 2011, 12:29:09 pm
Quote from: tryrar on October 18, 2011, 07:14:52 pm
Oh hey, siege engineer dies of thirst...so I zoom body. He's on top of a wall....with no access to the top. AT ALL. Que facepalm and questions of "HOW the HELL did he got up there?!"
He's a dwarven seige engineer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Owly on October 19, 2011, 07:53:43 pm
A forgotten beast comes.
"Hmm, a chestnut coyote with no eyelids couldn't be too hard to defeat right? I'll just dig down to the floor and send my military to defeat him."
WRONG.
He slaughters my entire military and races up the stairs. Everyone in the fortress is killed by the giant beast. I look at the units screen. Strangely, some dwarves are still alive. So, I unforbid the hatch covers to let them escape. Unfortunately, these dwarves were the dwarves who were LOCKED OUTSIDE during a goblin ambush. The coyote runs outside and eats them.
And thus is the end of Phaserazors.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tryrar on October 20, 2011, 01:31:49 am
Ugh, really took too long getting a good metalworking industry up. Second ambush in a row, and not even half my dorfs are really equiped for it(They still have low quality iron! Geez! As well as only having half their uniform). Knew I should have put in a temp magmaworks while I built the pumpstack, but hey, I thought I was actually going quick with it.

On the plus side, I think I've got this marksdorf thing figured out...though it would help if I could get a bone carver who. Is. Above. Novice! REALLY helps when they don't take a whole month to carve a single stack of bone bolts, forcing me to divert weapon-smiths on metal bolts...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lordraymond on October 20, 2011, 02:04:19 am
>Spend upwards of six hours making everything in my fort perfect
>Finally ready to dig down for some GOOD OLD FASHIONED IRON
>MFW No sedimentary layer
>MFW No Igneous Extrusive layer
>MFW abandon fort
>MFW I didn't post a face

Anyway, there were many facepalms to be had there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hudders on October 20, 2011, 07:15:45 am
I'm quite embarrassed to say that for quite a long time I thought pressing "o" in the trade screen was the button you pressed to trade...  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: person012345 on October 20, 2011, 12:58:39 pm
Quote from: hudders on October 20, 2011, 07:15:45 am
I'm quite embarrassed to say that for quite a long time I thought pressing "o" in the trade screen was the button you pressed to trade...  ::)
I did that until I got a broker first time, by that time I realised that I wasn't actually getting the goods I was "trading", and when I appointed my broker I realised the values I was offering weren't right and that's why t wasn't working.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zwei on October 21, 2011, 01:07:40 am
Quote from: Lordraymond on October 20, 2011, 02:04:19 am
>Spend upwards of six hours making everything in my fort perfect
>Finally ready to dig down for some GOOD OLD FASHIONED IRON
>MFW No sedimentary layer
>MFW No Igneous Extrusive layer
>MFW abandon fort
>MFW I didn't post a face

Anyway, there were many facepalms to be had there.

???

You could, you know, simply buy smeltable stuff and supplement it with goblinite...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: peskyninja on October 21, 2011, 07:01:15 am
Just breached a cavern lake to make my water trap, the tunnel isn't finished so it's connected to the fort, so i put some floodgates there and connected them to a lever, then I mine the last square and quickly close the floodgate, now I proceed to finish the tunnel and the trap and "A force of !!FUN!!" arrives, I proceed to close the gates and prepare my militia then..."Urist Mcdabblingswimer has drowned!"X20, then I order l the lever connecting the floodgate that was mysteriously opened to be pulled.

Guess what happened? I connected the floodgate lever to the main gate lever and the goblin army just rushes into the fort crushing the unprepared militia and the tamtruing dwarfs.

HOW THAT HAPPENED?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWellTrainedFerret on October 21, 2011, 12:07:10 pm
....sigh...I have just re-learned an important leason that I once knew but recently forgot.
I got complacent.
My fort is in it's 5th year now, and things have settled down. My front gate is well defended by many weapon traps, a crossbow tower, and catapults.
It's gotten to the point where I no longer even bother to raise the bridge when something !!FUN!! shows up.

And now it just bit my arse, hard. A large goblin siege showed up. They madly charged my well-designed entrance. Half of them died to crossbow and catapult fire before even reaching the entryway. A few make it into the trap hall and kill the 2 puppies I keep stationed there, a small victory for them I guess. But the next step further in they take, they're all instantly gibb'd by artifact mechanism weapon traps loaded with 10 masterwork silver hammers each.

Now at this point, I'm laughing like a stark raving mad dwarf in glee, and seeing as how there are about 40-50 injured gobbo's limping away from the fort in defeat, I order the ranged units off station and my melee squad to charge froth out the gates.

It takes them a little while, but they eventually mob up all the remainder of this epically failed siege attempt, with no casualties to boot.

...So...what went wrong, you ask?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mdqp on October 21, 2011, 02:41:24 pm
It was during my first siege. I had already set up a couple of drawbridge, a burrow to get my dwarves to safety, and I had began to train a small army (sadly, only an handful of migrants had any fighting skills, and I didn't start with any fighters). As soon as I saw them I ordered to retreat (it went well, I only lost an hunter that stubbornly decided to face the goblins without any armor, and with lousy wood/bone bolts, so he had it coming). After a while I got bored, though (and I was also finishing the wood, so I was also pissed). I couldn't possibly wait years under siege, now, could I? I had managed to mine some adamantine, and I also created some steel, but being my first siege, I wasn't sure if my 3 recruits were up for the job, even with such fine equipment, So I first thought to lower the first bridge, and see if my traps could take down a few of them (I also had a 2 ballistas down the hallway, and I had build fortifications to close the access to the goblins if they came too close). I lower the bridge, they enter, kill my poor guard dog, then refuse to walk any closer, since I closed the access, and they couldn't path to my dwarves... So I said, "screw this"! And prepared for an assault with my 3 stooges. To help them with the goblins (there were about 20 of them) I decided to send out civilians, too, to act as a diversion, hoping this could make my "army" last any longer... I didn't expect my 3 dwarves to be effectively unstoppable, as they cut through their ranks effortlessly, ending the siege quickly... My only problem was that the civilians weren't fast runners, and ended up losing 8 of them, and at least half of them were downed by the last goblin on the map, that was sitting there without doing anything, as my dwarves blindly went toward him, ignoring his existance until he struck them down... The slow response of my army to my orders didn't help, either... In the end, I felt so stupid I abandoned the fortress, and started a new one (that had a nice cliff that went from the surface all the way down to the glowing pit, that lagged so badly I immediately had to quit that one too...)...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on October 21, 2011, 05:53:36 pm
Decided to order the whole fortress out to shoot at a siege. Generally this goes well (and I've had few enough opportunities to use the recently-built shooting platforms), but a goblin elite who hung back until the rest of the squad was absorbing all the fire got off a lucky shot and broke a dwarf's neck.

I knew this was a bad idea and did it anyway, since odds were I only would have got a bunch of shattered limbs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on October 22, 2011, 02:24:41 am
Put a set of animals both before and after your traps to detect hidden trapavoid enemies.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mokkun on October 22, 2011, 03:12:08 pm
Seeing my marksdwarfs (after sending them to attack a chained speargob for training) half having crosbows no bolts/quivers other half having quivers/bolts. then proceeding to get wiped out. and in my stupidity, having it in a well traveled area.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MoosecraftMachete on October 22, 2011, 05:57:05 pm
After discovering adamantine, I accidentally forbid all of it, then, while mining out more I caused a lava spill.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: raptorfangamer on October 22, 2011, 06:15:36 pm
embarking on an opening mountain cave... cave crocs... those filthy cave crocs...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mek42 on October 23, 2011, 07:45:36 pm
I engineered this brilliant idea for the waterfall through my dining room to also flow through my hospital and then flow into a multiple fork with floodgates for either edge of screen or obsidian farm.  Of course, upon shutting off flow to the obsidian farm I forgot to open flow to the outside and ended up with a scuba hospital.

This is actually the state of my most recent save, so I'm off to drain the hospital and start making blocks for a constructed floor so my medical dwarfs don't need to walk through moss and tower-caps on their way to patients.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grumbledwarfskin on October 24, 2011, 01:33:33 am
Face palm #1: Designing a spillway for magma forges, I decided to use a bridge instead of a floodgate. "It'll be great, they're not destructible like floodgates, so I won't have to worry about invaders!"

Built the bridge, linked to a lever, carved fortifications for the magma to come in. Pulled the lever. Bridge retracted.

Wait, why is there magma on the bridge tile?

Oh...retracting bridge. Forgot to set the closing direction when building it. Lost the area intended for the first of my magma forges, buried beneath a lot of magma.

Face palm #2: Now it's time to build more magma forges two z-levels below the first ones.

Build some down stairs just south of the current forges, up/down stairs below them, decide to widen it out to the original planned width, can't use up/down stairs, because there's magma up above, so just down stairs for that end of things.

Start carving down stairs, magma pours onto the miner...oh yeah, digging out down stairs only doesn't guarantee you a roof over your head, that's up the the floor above...where there were up/down stairs...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vindictus on October 24, 2011, 08:14:46 pm
Just now, when I realized the reason that kobolds were still dying off early even with no need to eat or drink was because I modded tigers to be more plentiful and live everywhere.

Apparently, kobolds are tasty ^_^

Well, at least I've gotten some legendary tigers out of this.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spaghetti7 on October 25, 2011, 03:49:16 pm
Had my first Forgotten Beast run along, that unfortunately was not made of steam. A giant skinless serpent with a poisonous sting, it came into the caverns and started going for my door in.
I sat there and did nothing, completely forgetting the whole building destroyer jazz. Eventually, when a fisherman came to build a trap nearby, (I was gonna try to catch the bugger) it busted down the door and managed to murder him and another before my military came and destroyed him.
But now he's being butchered, so we're all happy.  :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tlc2011 on October 25, 2011, 06:38:28 pm
Gave up on a waterfall...

Only to read up on it on the wiki while unpaused.

I come back and my fort is FLOODED.

My response:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: person012345 on October 26, 2011, 01:44:40 pm
When I first filled up a moat, I filled it right to the top. The map freezes mid-autumn to mid-spring. Yeeeah. Luckily I didn't have any attacks that winter and drained it to half for the next year.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tlc2011 on October 26, 2011, 02:28:22 pm
Why has no one already quoted my "jack sparrow making a funny face and running off the screen" GIF and laughed at it
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zehive on October 26, 2011, 03:34:42 pm
Quote from: Tlc2011 on October 26, 2011, 02:28:22 pm
Why has no one already quoted my "jack sparrow making a funny face and running off the screen" GIF and laughed at it
I was too busy watching it and thinking of all the times I've done that...

Flying Forgotten Beasts flying up from the caverns..
A diagonal hole in the water cistern..
Forgetting to pull the lever..
Pulling the WRONG lever..
That one time I saved after opening the circus and forgot I had opened the circus when I reloaded a few weeks later and started playing the top of the fortress like normal..
The Roc flying through the skylight..
An entire squad of dorfs dodging into a pond..


Good times.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Virodhi on October 26, 2011, 04:24:37 pm
When faced with a herd of skeletal reindeer smirking at them from across the map upon embark, a normal person digs a moat around the wagon and goes about their business. Some of us, however, overthink it and decide to collapse the wagon into a pit and start from there. And then completely forget to set a new meeting area before channeling out that last square...

Picture, if you will, a lone miner staring into a 12 z-level drop. "Uh, guys, you okay down there?"

I am the herpiest of all derps, but never mind. I have a dwarf, a pick and a yak (and a wagon's worth of goodies, lightly spattered with blood and other substances). Making this work will be my idiot tax.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: person012345 on October 26, 2011, 04:56:24 pm
Quote from: Tlc2011 on October 26, 2011, 02:28:22 pm
Why has no one already quoted my "jack sparrow making a funny face and running off the screen" GIF and laughed at it
Jack Kojima > Jack Sparrow

Edit: I don't expect you to understand that btw, so dw. >.>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tlc2011 on October 27, 2011, 11:48:44 pm
But jack sparrow is better because he has a pirate hat.

And is better at making funny faces. and running. off the screen.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pickerel on October 27, 2011, 11:54:04 pm
I just had a moment that represents my fastest sudden immediate bit of FUN ever.

I had a tundra fort, entirely underground, except for a wind farm, and that just powers a bunch of pumps, nobody actually goes up there.  It had a population of around 80ish after about 10 or so deaths over the years.  It has a booming community.  I am setting up a magma chamber up near the sand and clay layers to streamline access to magma, and avoid problems with magma creatures.  Along the way, a few other things were to be built, including an obsidian farm attached to a series of levers to control the magma and water flow.  I have the entire system going, but just so I can keep track, I haven't broken into the magma yet.  It's all set up.  But first, I need to break into the water in the underground cavern and close the flood gate behind the miner.

I misjudged water pressure.  Within less than a second of the miner breaking in, the entire chamber is flooded to a height of 7.  Furthermore, all the lower levels below that (this is the first cavern level) immediately flooded.

It's okay, though, my two miners drown and one glassdwarf who was manufacturing on the lower level.  No harm done.

Except that the bottom of the magma pump system was still open because I would eventually need to break ground there to let magma through, and as I said, I had left the whole system on and powered by a bunch of windmills above.  The water from above flowed into the magma system at lightning speed, and was immediately conducted from the very bottom layer (the magma layer) alllll the way up to the top of the fort, which is still an unmined layer, and fills in all lower levels quickly and immediately.  In literally three to five seconds of breaking ground in the water area, everybody in the fort - literally everyone - is in 7/7 water, and nobody is anywhere near the switch to turn the system off.  My dwarves die to the dwarf, as well as all my animals.  I've never before seen a fort so quickly destroyed.  It was quite impressive, really...  and it was definitely a... FACEPALM moment!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Theifofdreams on October 28, 2011, 05:09:34 am
You, Sir or Madam, have just come as close to winning at dwarf fortress as is possible.
Congratulations on all the fun you had for those precious seconds until everyone drowned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LemmingKing on October 29, 2011, 05:15:10 pm
Well.. First year barely even Autumn yet and Badgers start going beserk killing off 5 of my dwarves, spent the whole time worrying about the Badgers and forgeting about time and drinks. Winter comes and I'm low on drinks, enough said everyone goes berserk and the facepalm commences.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWellTrainedFerret on October 30, 2011, 05:22:35 am
Why didn't anyone tell me that diverting a river would cause my computer to explode?
I went from a steady 100fps to...2fps.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BeforeLifer on October 30, 2011, 10:12:56 am
Quote from: AWellTrainedFerret on October 30, 2011, 05:22:35 am
Why didn't anyone tell me that diverting a river would cause my computer to explode?
I went from a steady 100fps to...2fps.
Just think if that was ‼MAGMA‼ It would be even worse.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mr_seeker on October 31, 2011, 03:29:31 pm
I start a new fortress, thinking it was a "mirthful" place. First announcement I get: 2 dwarves attacked and mortally wounded by dwarves, one of them was my miner. Needless to say that I had to abandon the fortress after 5 min due to starving dwarves...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mr_seeker on October 31, 2011, 05:46:44 pm
I just found out that Mayor Urist is in love with thrones. Not woman, thrones!

Proof:
- First he demands 3 thrones.
- Then he puts an export ban on thrones (uhh?)

I am still waiting for that mayor caught having sex with a throne...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Theifofdreams on October 31, 2011, 08:41:14 pm
Quote from: mr_seeker on October 31, 2011, 05:46:44 pm

I am still waiting for that mayor caught having sex with a throne...
I'm pretty sure thrones are non-receptive to spores. And dwarfs, like everything else, breed by spore. Not sure what this "sex" that you speak of is...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zwei on November 01, 2011, 01:50:29 am
Quote from: mr_seeker on October 31, 2011, 05:46:44 pm
I just found out that Mayor Urist is in love with thrones. Not woman, thrones!

Proof:
- First he demands 3 thrones.
- Then he puts an export ban on thrones (uhh?)

I am still waiting for that mayor caught having sex with a throne...

Better than dutchess with thing for traction benches...

Imagine being her husband...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pickerel on November 01, 2011, 04:22:09 pm
Quote from: Hobbie on December 09, 2009, 02:51:58 pm
First death on my new fortress was a baby falling down a soon-to-be well.

T_T
I know it's dredging up a post from the past, but I was looking through the posts of this forum and came across this one.  And I remember this one time... a baby whose parents were goblinated early on.  It went insane and tried to jump off the highest ledge on the fort.  This was a 1 level high ditch, with even stairs to get back up.  Since it was a baby, it wouldn't starve, so it spent the entirety of that fortresses existence repeatedly climbing to the top of the stairs, and jumping off.  This was several years.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on November 01, 2011, 04:23:21 pm
And if you order engravings and statues made, sooner or later, you'll get one of the noble "admiring" their throne collection.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pickerel on November 01, 2011, 04:47:41 pm
I had once modded into the game some races to make things more difficult: One I called Dark Seethers, and they were basically anthropomorphic spiders with trapavoid, and would start appearing after goblins, forcing one to have a descent military to deal with them.  They shot sticky web.

For the longest time, I couldn't figure out why they managed to take out entire fortresses: they would meet the dwarves in my danger zone, and somehow slaughter not only all my military dwarves, but my non-military dwarves would die in droves, every time, even being little more than glorified kobolds.

Then, one day, I found out why, as a dwarf was killed by falling rocks while I watched.  As standard, I had my danger zone as a thick line of traps.  My dwarves would run out to attack them, and would get webbed.  The trick is that, at the time at least, webbing was coded to be the equivalent of temporary unconsciousness.  And in the code (at the time at least), any animal that goes unconscious on a trap automatically triggers the trap.  So every dwarf was getting slaughtered because they would hit webs on traps as they ran out to collect the Seetherite (like Goblinite, but from Dark Seethers), and be hit by 10 glass or metal trap components, obsidian swords, crossbows, or previously harvested goblin weapons.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BeforeLifer on November 01, 2011, 09:13:58 pm
Quote from: Pickerel on November 01, 2011, 04:47:41 pm
I had once modded into the game some races to make things more difficult: One I called Dark Seethers, and they were basically anthropomorphic spiders with trapavoid, and would start appearing after goblins, forcing one to have a descent military to deal with them.  They shot sticky web.

For the longest time, I couldn't figure out why they managed to take out entire fortresses: they would meet the dwarves in my danger zone, and somehow slaughter not only all my military dwarves, but my non-military dwarves would die in droves, every time, even being little more than glorified kobolds.

Then, one day, I found out why, as a dwarf was killed by falling rocks while I watched.  As standard, I had my danger zone as a thick line of traps.  My dwarves would run out to attack them, and would get webbed.  The trick is that, at the time at least, webbing was coded to be the equivalent of temporary unconsciousness.  And in the code (at the time at least), any animal that goes unconscious on a trap automatically triggers the trap.  So every dwarf was getting slaughtered because they would hit webs on traps as they ran out to collect the Seetherite (like Goblinite, but from Dark Seethers), and be hit by 10 glass or metal trap components, obsidian swords, crossbows, or previously harvested goblin weapons.
Now THAT classifies as a epic facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: eggrock on November 02, 2011, 12:22:46 pm
This is my facepalm-turned-dwarfy moment.

Embarked on a perfectly flat area, channeled out a 32x32 perimeter and connected a few murky pools to it, which effectively give me a self refilling moat. Check.

Then I built the foundation and guardhouses around the whole thing, floored it in and built fortifications on the second level. Military patrol routes, check.

Next up, build the large reservoirs around the perimiter, to be filled with magma and released at will, with a little bonus obsidian farming in the moat.

Spoiler: Wiki check - are my schist foundations magma safe? (click to show/hide)

Change of plans: Build a giant magma reservoir supported by the schist foundation, and pull The Lever at some point in the future. When the last supporting schist wall melts, the reservoir will deconstruct, and the giant magma reservoir will suddently become a giant blob of magma, unsupported by anything except the ground beneath it. It's a one-shot siege ender that will consume the entire resources of the fort, but so be it. One must plan dwarfily when overseeing dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on November 02, 2011, 01:04:22 pm
Are you building all that out of bridges? Constructions are invulnerable to anything but a cave-in or a dwarf with a deconstruction order.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tlc2011 on November 02, 2011, 02:38:10 pm
Quote from: eggrock on November 02, 2011, 12:22:46 pm
This is my facepalm-turned-dwarfy moment.

Embarked on a perfectly flat area, channeled out a 32x32 perimeter and connected a few murky pools to it, which effectively give me a self refilling moat. Check.

Then I built the foundation and guardhouses around the whole thing, floored it in and built fortifications on the second level. Military patrol routes, check.

Next up, build the large reservoirs around the perimiter, to be filled with magma and released at will, with a little bonus obsidian farming in the moat.

Spoiler: Wiki check - are my schist foundations magma safe? (click to show/hide)

Change of plans: Build a giant magma reservoir supported by the schist foundation, and pull The Lever at some point in the future. When the last supporting schist wall melts, the reservoir will deconstruct, and the giant magma reservoir will suddently become a giant blob of magma, unsupported by anything except the ground beneath it. It's a one-shot siege ender that will consume the entire resources of the fort, but so be it. One must plan dwarfily when overseeing dwarves.

Only wood actually burns, i think.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on November 02, 2011, 02:45:23 pm
Quote from: Tlc2011 on November 02, 2011, 02:38:10 pm
Quote from: eggrock on November 02, 2011, 12:22:46 pm
This is my facepalm-turned-dwarfy moment.

Embarked on a perfectly flat area, channeled out a 32x32 perimeter and connected a few murky pools to it, which effectively give me a self refilling moat. Check.

Then I built the foundation and guardhouses around the whole thing, floored it in and built fortifications on the second level. Military patrol routes, check.

Next up, build the large reservoirs around the perimiter, to be filled with magma and released at will, with a little bonus obsidian farming in the moat.

Spoiler: Wiki check - are my schist foundations magma safe? (click to show/hide)

Change of plans: Build a giant magma reservoir supported by the schist foundation, and pull The Lever at some point in the future. When the last supporting schist wall melts, the reservoir will deconstruct, and the giant magma reservoir will suddently become a giant blob of magma, unsupported by anything except the ground beneath it. It's a one-shot siege ender that will consume the entire resources of the fort, but so be it. One must plan dwarfily when overseeing dwarves.

Only wood actually burns, i think.

(C)onstructed things are everythingproof (constructed ice wall will hold magma etc). (Except a cave-in or a dwarf with a deconstruction order).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mapleguy555 on November 02, 2011, 06:57:44 pm
Realizing none of my dwarves had wood burning on AFTER abandoning due to thinking:
"Glitch? FUUUUUUUUU"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Theifofdreams on November 03, 2011, 02:05:48 am
Quote from: Kogut on November 02, 2011, 02:45:23 pm
Quote from: Tlc2011 on November 02, 2011, 02:38:10 pm
Quote from: eggrock on November 02, 2011, 12:22:46 pm
...

Only wood actually burns, i think.

(C)onstructed things are everythingproof (constructed ice wall will hold magma etc). (Except a cave-in or a dwarf with a deconstruction order).
Most non-(C)onstructed materials won't actually "burn" but they will be destroyed by magma.
The list of magma immune items is fairly short, unfortunately. Your best bet will probably be using the stone type you find surrounding the magma to use in moving the magma around. As for containing it, as Kogut said, as long as it's (C)onstructed (specifically, not a building) then it's impossible for anything short of cave-ins or determined dwarfs with deconstructive designs to take it down.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: eggrock on November 03, 2011, 09:34:31 am
Quote from: Kogut on November 02, 2011, 02:45:23 pm
(C)onstructed things are everythingproof (constructed ice wall will hold magma etc). (Except a cave-in or a dwarf with a deconstruction order).

Well double damn.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: aexsar on November 03, 2011, 09:57:35 pm
Quote from: Michaelsoftman on April 20, 2009, 09:42:01 pm
Quote from: AncientEnemy on April 20, 2009, 09:18:57 pm
discovering the d->b menu.

oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones

Oh man same here for me.

I remember digging out a large room, and then sighing as I would press 'k' then I'd press right, D, right, D, right, D etc etc until i marked like 200 stones for dumping.

Then someone showed me mass dumping...  I love that man.

You can not imagine the utter horror as I was reading this thread and realized that this was possible. I've been playing for a few months now and have probably dumped thousands of stone tile by tile. On the flip side, I am happy knowing I can do this from now on.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Togre on November 04, 2011, 10:34:25 am
Quote from: aexsar on November 03, 2011, 09:57:35 pm
You can not imagine the utter horror as I was reading this thread and realized that this was possible. I've been playing for a few months now and have probably dumped thousands of stone tile by tile. On the flip side, I am happy knowing I can do this from now on.

This.  Oh so This. :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Johuotar on November 05, 2011, 04:00:49 pm
Allowing my fort to be killed by Elk birds.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kearn on November 05, 2011, 09:34:54 pm
making this post
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: restricted on November 06, 2011, 01:29:21 am
Trying to generate a world with a 150 volcano minimum... 61 rejected so far and I think DF has no intention of stopping.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kallin on November 06, 2011, 07:53:48 pm
I have just learned that my fortress, Boltedhall, on the banks of the brook Sheenbottled (I shall tame tigers and train them in winning), is actually in Canada.

I have a whole lot of cobatite in my well. From Wikipedia: In 1966, the addition of cobalt compounds to stabilize beer foam in Canada led to cardiomyopathy, which came to be known as beer drinker's cardiomyopathy.[77]

Edit: Fucking training weapons.
Goden Semorngiz, militia commander has grown attached to a palm training axe!
She did this while asleep. What the hell are you doing with it in bed?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: erissian on November 06, 2011, 11:15:01 pm
Quote from: Kallin on November 06, 2011, 07:53:48 pm
Edit: Fucking training weapons.
Goden Semorngiz, militia commander has grown attached to a palm training axe!
She did this while asleep. What the hell are you doing with it in bed?

Dreaming about slaughtering goblins, of course.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JJtoocool on November 07, 2011, 09:59:34 pm
Artifact Adamantine Goblet.


Its worse when it happens to you...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Diicc Tater on November 08, 2011, 09:53:01 am
1st time I wanted to irrigate a farmplot, tapping in to the stream, using no floodgates.
1st time I made a well, tapping in to the river, using no floodgates.
1st time I placed floodgates, locking a dwarf inside the waterway.
1st time I tried to build a 2z high wall, trapping a mason and not noticing until he was dehydrated.
1st time I killed a dwarven merchant that went berserk...  (just last week).

those are just some of the times I've facepalmed at myself... there are just so many. :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shark on November 08, 2011, 11:32:36 am
An ambush arrives with the dwarf caravan, in the 2nd fall. A fight off the goblins, no one dies but a few pets and 2 haulers. I do my trading, and the merchants leave.

RIGHT after the merchants leave, a dwarf gets a mood and claims a clothiers workshop. I have everything he wants, (wood, metal bars, cloth) yet he won't take the materials.

Looking at the wiki, I realize I don't have yarn cloth, just silk and plant fiber cloth. Sketching pictures of cloth can mean any type of cloth. The caravan carrying yarn cloth JUST left, and the only sheep, a pet, died in the ambush.

The dwarf is going to go insane and die because he refuses to use my more valuable cloth, such as giant cave spider silk, he has to have YARN. Which I CAN'T GET for half a year, when the next caravan comes.

*Facepalm*

Here's hoping i'll get a migrant wave like right now with a sheep in it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kallin on November 08, 2011, 09:23:34 pm
I just had a goblin snatch a child. Checking the thoughts of the parents, I notice that they don't even notice their child is missing.

More interestingly, I notice I can still view the child if I go through the relations page on one of the family members.

I saw the child's thoughts and facepalmed.

(http://i.imgur.com/GnWi0.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stockdoodle on November 08, 2011, 10:17:17 pm
Forgot to change my designation back to Dig from up/down stairway, then went off to work on something else while my miners got to work. Destroyed a nice layer of silt a few Z levels down from my entrance.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on November 09, 2011, 01:39:50 am
Quote from: Kallin on November 08, 2011, 09:23:34 pm
I just had a goblin snatch a child. Checking the thoughts of the parents, I notice that they don't even notice their child is missing.

More interestingly, I notice I can still view the child if I go through the relations page on one of the family members.

I saw the child's thoughts and facepalmed.

(http://i.imgur.com/GnWi0.png)
...what were you doing to your dorfs!?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on November 09, 2011, 02:48:26 am
Quote from: Kallin on November 08, 2011, 09:23:34 pm
I just had a goblin snatch a child. Checking the thoughts of the parents, I notice that they don't even notice their child is missing.

More interestingly, I notice I can still view the child if I go through the relations page on one of the family members.

I saw the child's thoughts and facepalmed.

(http://i.imgur.com/GnWi0.png)
http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/mantisbt/view.php?id=4953
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zwei on November 09, 2011, 02:53:36 am
Quote from: MaximumZero on November 09, 2011, 01:39:50 am
Quote from: Kallin on November 08, 2011, 09:23:34 pm
I just had a goblin snatch a child. Checking the thoughts of the parents, I notice that they don't even notice their child is missing.

More interestingly, I notice I can still view the child if I go through the relations page on one of the family members.

I saw the child's thoughts and facepalmed.

(http://i.imgur.com/GnWi0.png)
...what were you doing to your dorfs!?


Well, if it was not so much different from what other players are doing ... HE IS A MONSTER!

Let's all be glad that Sakzul was finally saved and that he will live happy, full life.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on November 09, 2011, 03:16:04 am
Artifacts in my fortress. I know - I am using FD mod, this embark is reused for third time and two previous attempts ended in slaughter of my population. But 2 coffins, "The diversion of execution, a gneiss mechanism" and "The smile of gallows, dog leather vest" as first 4 artifacts?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Togre on November 09, 2011, 05:43:22 pm
I just realized there was a gameplay forum intended specifically for the simple questions I so often ask on this forum.  <facepalm>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zarhon on November 10, 2011, 12:11:18 pm
Started digging around a safe part of an aquifer. For some reason, I end up breaching it, despite the "damp rock" auto-cancels, and end up flooding that level (the miner got away easily though). I notice the aquifer is endlessly draining into a lower aquifer layer staircase I dug before that, so I decide to dig around to that staircase and plug it up so I don't lose on FPS due to the endless water flow.

The dwarf promptly walls himself in on the side that's about to be flooded by the aquifer because I neglected using the "suspended building designation" trick, thinking he couldn't build on the wrong side due to the water flow. GUESS NOT.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What followed was a race to get rid of the wall before the idiot drowns. He'd have drowned if it weren't for the lucky 6/7 depth water tiles constantly giving him breath.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: scienceIswear on November 10, 2011, 07:55:40 pm
First time facing skeletal creatures: "Hey, skeletons! Well, I've dealt with zombies before, so this shouldn't be too hard... *one month later* Crap."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grytorm on November 11, 2011, 12:32:31 am
Discovering cave in alerts the same time I decided to pointlessly in my first multiyear fortress dig a tunnel from my river to the magma sea.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Trodglen on November 11, 2011, 02:41:02 pm
Not understanding how hatches work on up/down stairs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Theifofdreams on November 11, 2011, 08:02:08 pm
Quote from: Zarhon on November 10, 2011, 12:11:18 pm
The dwarf promptly walls himself in on the side that's about to be flooded by the aquifer because I neglected using the "suspended building designation" trick, thinking he couldn't build on the wrong side due to the water flow. GUESS NOT.
What is this "suspended building designation" trick?
I forsee this saving me quite alot of trouble.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZeroSumHappiness on November 11, 2011, 11:13:06 pm
Designate a wall to be built where you don't want your dwarves standing around.  Suspend the wall before anyone tries to go build it.  Remove the build order when you don't need it.  Dwarves prefer to stand in clear space over space designated to be walled.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kelroth on November 12, 2011, 07:04:40 am
One of my Axedwarves had the brilliant idea to dodge a blow while sparring into a murky pool and died. At first I was annoyed, but after seeing his smiley face while dead into the water after the stupid thing he had done made me laugh isterically. When I designed the barracks near that murky pool I thought "I don't think dwarves are too stupid to fall into there while sparring". I love how the events always prove me wrong.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on November 12, 2011, 07:25:09 am
Quote from: Kelroth on November 12, 2011, 07:04:40 am
One of my Axedwarves had the brilliant idea to dodge a blow while sparring into a murky pool and died. At first I was annoyed, but after seeing his smiley face while dead into the water after the stupid thing he had done made me laugh isterically. When I designed the barracks near that murky pool I thought "I don't think dwarves are too stupid to fall into there while sparring". I love how the events always prove me wrong.

I wonder if fallen dwarves can continue down in the pits...On that note, channel a ramp!
~~~

First fortress, dug a small hole in the mount from above but figured to make a farm first after putting everyone in. Right next to a large murky pool, it flooded my people and I panicked on seeing the water. I did not know about the max H20 level for drowning and  :'( as the deadly ~~~ covered my screen.

Then the rains came...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rgamer on November 12, 2011, 11:14:20 am
Realizing that the way I had it designated, a cave-in was guaranteed, severely injuring one of my miners. Now to see if he recovers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Devling on November 12, 2011, 03:42:59 pm
Deciding to kill one of my heros, I went to a one or two height ledge and jumped. I didn't even get hurt. Twelve times later I just jumped into a pool and drowned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Orky_Boss on November 13, 2011, 08:17:44 am
I have decided to make my new fort convieniently in the middle of a glacier, with no natural wood, and presumably without a way to get food. (Except probably by underground farming)

So I embark with the lazynewb embark settings, and I say to myself in narrator form 'So here we are in the middle of a glacier. As you can see there's no natural wood, but I think we can deal with that...'

Then I realize I probably didn't bring and wood along, and of course, beds can only be made out of wood...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on November 13, 2011, 10:10:01 am
i found a mgma sea at z-lvl 9, but no metals. some explorative mining, more magma, no metal. ARGH

edit
not counting cobalt and other non-weapon metals
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on November 13, 2011, 11:12:49 am
Quote from: Garath on November 13, 2011, 10:10:01 am
i found a mgma sea at z-lvl 9, but no metals. some explorative mining, more magma, no metal. ARGH

edit
not counting cobalt and other non-weapon metals

With magma that easily available, it's probably all you need to defend your fort anyway. And the rest you can buy from the dwarven caravan.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on November 13, 2011, 11:30:22 am
I've had no chance, ever, of setting up a steel production! I dropped my enemies in a magma sea, crushed them with ceilings dropping on them, torn them to shreds with spinning discs, but somehow i cant equip a decent militairy
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Orky_Boss on November 13, 2011, 11:36:16 am
In addition to being unable to make a bed, I also found that I can't farm on ice...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ArKFallen on November 13, 2011, 05:25:12 pm
    Getting back to Dorf Fortress I thought, "Hey, you know what'd be an awesome place for a fort? Under a lake!" So I embark on a cold lake because it was near the only people who'd trade with my modded race, goblins. Taking into account that a fortress under a lake would have no access to trees a good portion of the year, I embarked with 32 willow logs, and an extra digging tool and hatchet (they're too small for battle axes). Wanting as big a store of wood as possible I send 3 midgets out to deforest an area near the lake and begin digging down to the fort's planned entrance.
     Everything goes well, I drop the extra hatchet in a locked ice shed for migrants, put a hatch on the entrance, and store all of our supplies
except a few logs. The place seems to be thawing so I order everyone into the mini fort and lock the hatch. My first facepalm came when I realized that my 6 rabbits are grazers and I'm not going to find grass down here. The second facepalm came soon after, 4z's down:
You have discovered an expansive cavern deep underground.
You have discovered a downward passage.
You have discovered an expansive cavern deep underground.

My first thought is: "Woops! Didn't mean to do that. But at least there's metal down here."
And then I remember that caverns have something else... trees. >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Clutzy on November 13, 2011, 05:48:31 pm
Just realized I should seperate all various weapon users in squads  :o. Let's see if this will improve things.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Talvieno on November 13, 2011, 07:17:08 pm
The very first time I ever played, when I had no real idea what Dwarf Fortress was, I was bewildered by the ASCII and then discovered I could use "k" to look at things. "Hey look, those are dwarves around a wagon, sitting on a grassy plain surrounded by upwards slopes! It all makes sense!" So then I look around some more and figure out how to dig. "Wow, cool, I hit chrysoprase! And brown jasper! Woot! Already finding gems - I must be good at this!" So I keep digging and a little ways into the mountain I see a ton of blue 7's. I look at it with K - "wow", I think, "I'm figuring out this game so fast! I'd always heard it was too difficult to play!" - it's water. What ho, dear chaps! A lovely underground lake! Why, I think I might take a dip!
...so I dig to it. Or into it, rather... First fortress gone, just like that. Very, very rapid flash flood that drowns my dwarves.

Second fortress. I get a really good place going, get some walls up, get an underground forge with hematite. Oh, I'm brilliant and incredibly good, yes? I'm always wondering what that empty space is, though... "Is it... perhaps... the edge of the world? Have my dwarves embarked on a location truly unique and incredibly awesome?! Mayhap, dear fellows, I could use such a truly amazing feature to kill any enemies that dare attack my fortress in the clouds!!!" So I build walls to it.
Year 2, goblin ambush, 1 raiding party. They go UP the mountain (eh, WHAT?! WHERE'D THEY GO?!), over my walls (AH!!! ARE THEY FLYING?!!?), and most importantly, right up through the front gate when they're finally leaving. I pat myself on the back for my traps causing the fool goblins to fall off the edge of the world.

It wasn't til the next game that I discovered z-levels.

edit: typos.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Orky_Boss on November 13, 2011, 09:05:25 pm
Quote from: Talvieno on November 13, 2011, 07:17:08 pm
The very first time I ever played, when I had no real idea what Dwarf Fortress was, I was bewildered by the ASCII and then discovered I could use "k" to look at things. "Hey look, those are dwarves around a wagon, sitting on a grassy plain surrounded by upwards slopes! It all makes sense!" So then I look around some more and figure out how to dig. "Wow, cool, I hit chrysoprase! And brown jasper! Woot! Already finding gems - I must be good at this!" So I keep digging and a little ways into the mountain I see a ton of blue 7's. I look at it with K - "wow", I think, "I'm figuring out this game so fast! I'd always heard it was too difficult to play!" - it's water. What ho, dear chaps! A lovely underground lake! Why, I think I might take a dip!
...so I dig to it. Or into it, rather... First fortress gone, just like that. Very, very rapid flash flood that drowns my dwarves.

Second fortress. I get a really good place going, get some walls up, get an underground forge with hematite. Oh, I'm brilliant and incredibly good, yes? I'm always wondering what that empty space is, though... "Is it... perhaps... the edge of the world? Have my dwarves embarked on a location truly unique and incredibly awesome?! Mayhap, dear fellows, I could use such a truly amazing feature to kill any enemies that dare attack my fortress in the clouds!!!" So I build walls to it.
Year 2, goblin ambush, 1 raiding party. They go UP the mountain (eh, WHAT?! WHERE'D THEY GO?!), over my walls (AH!!! ARE THEY FLYING?!!?), and most importantly, right up through the front gate when they're finally leaving. I pat myself on the back for my traps causing the fool goblins to fall off the edge of the world.

It wasn't til the next game that I discovered z-levels.

edit: typos.

I'm glad I didn't go through that mess. I also was struck by the ASCII, and I ended up abandoning multiple fortresses, partially because I never knew what to do, and also because I didn't know save game also brought you to the main menu, so I thought abandoning the fort was the only way to get out of the game.

Then I found a 'hands on' learning thing, and I quickly learned the basics of the game, such as making a farm plot, making a place for workshops, having a dining room, having a bedroom area, and much more (The pump thing at the end skewed my mind, and I ended up skipping it. I first wished I didn't when I needed to use the magma sea I found to evaporate a cavern filled with water. Unfortunatly I learned the hard way what 'the circus' and 'clowns' area before I learned (and make use of) a thing I found on the wiki called a 'pump stack'.

Now I play with the mayday graphic tileset, although I'm considering doing some forts in ASCII to see what everything looks like in the 'defult' form.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on November 14, 2011, 07:00:06 am
put the switch for the gears of the water pump connecting it to the waterwheel AWAY from that site, preferably somewhere higher that you can always reach, in case of accidental flooding
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Clutzy on November 14, 2011, 11:20:16 am
Why has my livestock been left to wander and starve? At some point I had turned off "active". *fwap!*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on November 14, 2011, 02:08:09 pm
Magma pump outa wood.
It worked, since it used the cold wood.
:P
...
MWAHAHA...
...
shit, that empties into my dining room...
 :-X
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RabidAnubis on November 14, 2011, 10:54:12 pm
Feb, my champion, defeated ten waves of goblins by a cliff.

Happy, she took a step back, and fell over.

GRRRRRRR
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: evillevi on November 15, 2011, 09:42:51 am
Build a bridge. Goblin siege. Raise the bridge. Traped a quarterr of my dwarfs outside
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GoldenZeppelin on November 15, 2011, 01:38:03 pm
My first fort:
"Oooh, what does "channel" do?"
I ended up flooding my 1 z-level fort by digging a channel into the mayor's bedroom. While he was sleeping in it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on November 16, 2011, 05:20:32 am
after setting miltairy alert, civ restricted, my mayor who was just elected with the BEST EVER preferences still walks outside into a cyclopse!

edit:
he managed to get away with barely a scratch. Athlethic and fast mayor ftw
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DaftSkunk on November 16, 2011, 06:26:59 am
Ive had some problems getting the newest batch of useless migrants to the viewpoint of serenity (dont mind the raised bridge, it just block the harsh winds) in Magictowers.
Feeling smart, Ive put them into a squad and stationed them in the killzone. Everything went great, they even named their squad "The Lovers of Bridging", which was hilarious.

Then one of my masons died. I may have twenty, but he was one of the good...

Ive made them the guards.. and I have no prison. -.-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untouchable on November 17, 2011, 12:35:52 am
Quote from: GoldenZeppelin on November 15, 2011, 01:38:03 pm
My first fort:
"Oooh, what does "channel" do?"
I ended up flooding my 1 z-level fort by digging a channel into the mayor's bedroom. While he was sleeping in it.

I take it that your attempt to drown your mayor was nothing more than an unfortunate accident?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Imiknorris on November 17, 2011, 12:38:23 am
Quote from: TolyK on November 14, 2011, 02:08:09 pm
shit, that empties into my dining room...
 :-X
How the fuck did you manage to do that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Theifofdreams on November 17, 2011, 01:48:47 am
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on November 17, 2011, 12:38:23 am
Quote from: TolyK on November 14, 2011, 02:08:09 pm
shit, that empties into my dining room...
 :-X
How the fuck did you manage to do that.

Very carefully?
More then likely by either not taking into account that magma can path diagonally, by originally intending the room to be used for something else before it was a cistern (maybe a waterfall attempt?)
 or just failing to finish walling it off.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Henrik Undrgrim on November 17, 2011, 07:53:50 pm
Embarked on a volcano.Lot of everything dorfs fear including flying creatures.Hole up in mountain and dig for metal.Find metal, smelt metal and then realise I have no anvil........ :'(.First dorf caravan to arrive doesnt have one either.Figured Id wait till next year.Liasion forced to stay indoors because of danger outside, goes nuts and attacks other dorfs.Let him out where he gets mauled by a rampaging donkey belonging to the same caravan he came with.Dont see another caravan of any type for three years.DOH!!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rgamer on November 17, 2011, 07:57:19 pm
My fort is going well. The miner who made a cave-in on himself has almost recovered, though he refuses to get out of his traction bench/ the CMD refuses to get him out. Then, I see this announcement:

"Ambushers! Curse them!"

And realize I have failed to make any traps. Fortunately, there's a dwarven caravan, and it beats the shit out of the gobbos for me, so I get a bit of goblinite. Unfortunately, the only one with armor got away... everything but its head was broken, but it could somehow walk, so it got off the map.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SebbyTheFreak on November 17, 2011, 10:24:05 pm
I made a badass magma moat filled with uptight spikes at the bottom around an idilyc Hawaiian island fortress.
I was planning in making an above-ground green glass fort.

I discovered that a volcano+magma moat meant that the environment was very hot.
Very, very, very hot.

The vegetations in a 70 square radius died off from the radiated heat, and my dwarves all over my fortress eventually went mad from the bad thoughts from the ambiant heat.
Tantrum spiral.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: geoduck on November 18, 2011, 02:23:53 am
Quote from: Rgamer on November 17, 2011, 07:57:19 pm
My fort is going well. The miner who made a cave-in on himself has almost recovered, though he refuses to get out of his traction bench/ the CMD refuses to get him out.

I had the same problem; if you dismantle the traction bench, that might get him moving again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PhantomXD on November 18, 2011, 03:17:13 pm
Abandoned several (going well 20 hour+) adventure's due to falling in water ... soooo any way turns out you CAN climb out ... *facepalm*

Bro tip: hold alt and move toward the bank
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on November 18, 2011, 04:49:54 pm
Quote from: SebbyTheFreak on November 17, 2011, 10:24:05 pm
The vegetations in a 70 square radius died off from the radiated heat, and my dwarves all over my fortress eventually went mad from the bad thoughts from the ambiant heat.
Tantrum spiral.
Radiated heat does not exist in DF and there are no temperature-related thoughts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SebbyTheFreak on November 18, 2011, 07:35:22 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on November 18, 2011, 04:49:54 pm
Quote from: SebbyTheFreak on November 17, 2011, 10:24:05 pm
The vegetations in a 70 square radius died off from the radiated heat, and my dwarves all over my fortress eventually went mad from the bad thoughts from the ambiant heat.
Tantrum spiral.
Radiated heat does not exist in DF and there are no temperature-related thoughts.

Then what the hell burnt the forest? (It was "burnt grass, burnt tree, etc.) all around the place, and never anything caught fire. All the near-or-far water evaporated soon after the magma moat, and all my dwarves were unable to work any efficiently after either.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GoldenZeppelin on November 18, 2011, 09:44:03 pm
My two miners are apperently in a competition to see who can murder the other fastest by channeling the ground out from below them. So far all of Urist McUnlucky's limbs are crushed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Orky_Boss on November 18, 2011, 10:22:05 pm
The trade dwarfs came, and somehow they manage to go through the routine before I could get all my trade items to the depot. No imported food for me...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on November 19, 2011, 02:18:38 am
Quote from: SebbyTheFreak on November 18, 2011, 07:35:22 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on November 18, 2011, 04:49:54 pm
Quote from: SebbyTheFreak on November 17, 2011, 10:24:05 pm
The vegetations in a 70 square radius died off from the radiated heat, and my dwarves all over my fortress eventually went mad from the bad thoughts from the ambiant heat.
Tantrum spiral.
Radiated heat does not exist in DF and there are no temperature-related thoughts.

Then what the hell burnt the forest? (It was "burnt grass, burnt tree, etc.) all around the place, and never anything caught fire. All the near-or-far water evaporated soon after the magma moat, and all my dwarves were unable to work any efficiently after either.

temperature exists and can be turned on/off. Similarly, embarking in a cold or scorcing environment could cause some trouble, in both cases at least through (possible) lack of surface water
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Orky_Boss on November 19, 2011, 09:43:16 am
I just found out a hungry head has gotten into my mine shaft, and I order my only militia dwarf to attack it, only to find she is sleeping...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on November 19, 2011, 12:04:09 pm
solution: atom smasher corridor
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UristMcFan on November 19, 2011, 12:10:26 pm
A Roc (who named the age) wandered into my map, and got inside my fortress, I pulled the "Fuck Everything lever" (which opened the aqufier above my fortress, to try to take the beast down with me. I had no military but sent everyone to attack it to see how many the Roc would kill.

It killed none, it was killed easily, unfortunately the flood continued. Still my 2 year fort managed to end the age of "The Roc and the Forest Titan" which was cool.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Talvieno on November 19, 2011, 01:30:22 pm
Here's a great one. I built a huge magma pump stack and a aqueduct (magmaduct?) to channel magma out onto the heads of enemies who approached the front gate.

My framerate is down to 1fp5s. I finally begin to wonder if magma is really worth it if you can't do anything while you're using it.

Oh, and did I mention everything is on fire? =D Wheeeeeeeee I'm gonna die.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on November 19, 2011, 01:42:20 pm
Quote from: Theifofdreams on November 17, 2011, 01:48:47 am
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on November 17, 2011, 12:38:23 am
Quote from: TolyK on November 14, 2011, 02:08:09 pm
shit, that empties into my dining room...
 :-X
How the fuck did you manage to do that.

Very carefully?
More then likely by either not taking into account that magma can path diagonally, by originally intending the room to be used for something else before it was a cistern (maybe a waterfall attempt?)
 or just failing to finish walling it off.
Um... not quite... I had a flooding system in place, which i guess flowed with magma... wooden hatches, heh heh...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on November 21, 2011, 08:59:40 am
Quote from: SebbyTheFreak on November 18, 2011, 07:35:22 pm
Then what the hell burnt the forest? (It was "burnt grass, burnt tree, etc.) all around the place, and never anything caught fire. All the near-or-far water evaporated soon after the magma moat, and all my dwarves were unable to work any efficiently after either.
Do you have a screenshot of the burnt stuff? The word doesn't appear in the string dump, and trees are alway referred to by species even when dead. The only effect magma has on anything that's not sharing its tile is to raise tile temperatures to 10075 and to burn screw pumps with non-nethercap wooden components.

I would expect a hot biome to evaporate surface water and to dry grass, but this doesn't affect trees and would happen even without any lava on the map. Conversely, a cooler biome with a volcano and lava moat wouldn't have any dry grass except perhaps on the level directly above a magma tile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: daggaz on November 21, 2011, 06:48:38 pm
Just spent the last four hours finding the perfect embark site (a cliff with a waterfall and sedimentary layers) and laying the skeleton of my new fort concept.  Carefully laid plans involving maximum z-level dwarf action, with routes between all areas, and best of all, an interconnected system of waterfalls which fed thru the whole thing.  The first underground layer looked like a circuit board, where I fed in the river water individually to each waterfall (Im new, and was afraid of wierdness if I tried to just split flows).  Thru it all, I managed to build up the basics of dwarf society, cramming people into unfinished areas which would soon be expansive, mist filled halls for revelling and admiring the engravings of vanquished mega-beasts.   

Anyhow, after much ado, I was finally ready to dig the channels.  Mechanisms in place? Check.  Floodgates working properly? Check.  Drainage system ready and sealed?  Check.  Ok.  Dig those ditches, guys.  Two squares of channel per waterfall.  No problem.  Ok.. no... wai....WHY DID YOU JUMP INTO THE CHANNELS YOU FORKING BEARDED IDIOTS!!!!    QUICK!! ACK! RUN BACK OUT!!   What do you mean, the CURRENT is TOO STRONG!?!  ok.. ok.. dont panic.. Dig your way out.   What do you mean, you cant dig in waist deep water??  Shit!  Ok.. fuck, now you are drowning?  Ok, sorry -oops I mean, "We are going to try something. We are going to get you out. DO NOT PANIC!"

(hushed voice) "Pull the lever." 

You sure boss?  Ok.

Flood gates open.  Dwarves fall eleven z levels into a pile of broken obsidian. (seriously, of all rubble, it had to be volcanic glass).   Kinda wishing I had installed individual switches to each gate, some water *might* have broken their fall,  but hey hind-sight is 20-20, right?   Miraculously, one guy actually lived.  Id put him on traction (he has a broken everything), but we dont have any.  Hoping "Doc" can fix him up with the two pieces of cloth and the two thread I brought on embark.  Havent had much time to set up a hospital, what with all the digging going on...  We are already getting to work on his burial slab, tho, in the interests of saving time in the future. 

But man, those waterfalls are impressive! =)  Every single level, fall after fall, misty rooms...  The new immigrants love it already.  Hey, any of you guys good with a pick?

(seriously tho, its lame to have to build a wall then suspend it for something as dumb as not having the AI path into a newly dug ditch with no exits.  WTF.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on November 22, 2011, 05:29:27 am
welcome to the wonderful world of DF

when you make a floor cave in, make sure they dont stand on the wrong side. These guys will literally saw off the branch they are sitting on
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Theifofdreams on November 22, 2011, 02:59:46 pm
Quote from: Garath on November 22, 2011, 05:29:27 am
These guys will literally saw off the branch they are sitting on
No, they won't. Sitting on branches isn't implemented yet. They will happily remove the floor they are standing on, though, causing them to plummet 20 z-levels into magma though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iton Ibrukrithzam on November 23, 2011, 06:19:09 am
This is a pretty strong facepalm, I almost don't wanna post it.  Almost, because here I am.

Anyway.  Been playing for a few months now, gone through maybe 30 forts, all told.  Used magma in the more recent half.  Magma smelters, magma traps, magma garbage disposal, and I finally realized something I should have realized long ago.

"Open Space
Magma [7/7]"

This means that square is full of magma, not just an empty space over top of magma.  So many times I've carefully scouted tunnels all the way down next to semi-molten rock, just to get the same red stuff that was several z-levels above...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BeforeLifer on November 23, 2011, 09:03:03 pm
WooooW im sorry but that is a preety big facepalm, Its probloy also worthy of a Facedesk and then a facefloor. Or if you perfer it to be more dwarfy, a Face-anvil powered by a giant.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on November 23, 2011, 10:02:15 pm
face palm, face hammer, face anvil?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: acetech09 on November 24, 2011, 01:35:42 am
Quote from: Iton Ibrukrithzam on November 23, 2011, 06:19:09 am
This is a pretty strong facepalm, I almost don't wanna post it.  Almost, because here I am.

Anyway.  Been playing for a few months now, gone through maybe 30 forts, all told.  Used magma in the more recent half.  Magma smelters, magma traps, magma garbage disposal, and I finally realized something I should have realized long ago.

"Open Space
Magma [7/7]"

This means that square is full of magma, not just an empty space over top of magma.  So many times I've carefully scouted tunnels all the way down next to semi-molten rock, just to get the same red stuff that was several z-levels above...


That hurts, man. I dunno what it is, but that just gave me an overwhelming face palm emotion even though I wasn't the one that did it. Digging down to SMR to get magma is honorable but sad. Even sadder if some of those times you embarked on volcanos.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunderkalven on November 24, 2011, 08:15:55 am
when my lava fortress drown all my dwarfs whith water
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dude on November 24, 2011, 08:25:03 am
Obvious troll is obvious.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: vonFaust on November 24, 2011, 11:35:36 am
Quote from: dude on November 24, 2011, 08:25:03 am
Obvious troll is obvious.

4chan is that way.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on November 25, 2011, 01:09:54 am
Quote from: Orky_Boss on November 18, 2011, 10:22:05 pm
The trade dwarfs came, and somehow they manage to go through the routine before I could get all my trade items to the depot. No imported food for me...

You don't have to wait for all of your goods to get to the depot. You can trade anytime you have a trader at the depot, even if some stuff is in transit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zombie urist on November 25, 2011, 05:24:27 pm
Giant tiger teeth != tiger teeth  >:(
Stupid mayor
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pray_for_Snow on November 25, 2011, 07:54:40 pm
Learning about garbage piles.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on November 26, 2011, 02:35:52 pm
I started playing again without graphics...
0.0
I didn't realize that those elks were elves... before I even made a good diggy hole...
:P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on November 27, 2011, 12:19:41 pm
For future reference, elks = E. Elves = e, or an e with two dots over it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Theifofdreams on November 27, 2011, 09:42:51 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on November 27, 2011, 12:19:41 pm
For future reference, elks = E. Elves = e, or an e with two dots over it.
Huh. I thought E was elephant.
Explains a few things...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: fergus on November 27, 2011, 11:40:21 pm
When I realised that dwarves would claim unassigned rooms automatically.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ieb on November 28, 2011, 08:42:24 am
Quote from: Theifofdreams on November 27, 2011, 09:42:51 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on November 27, 2011, 12:19:41 pm
For future reference, elks = E. Elves = e, or an e with two dots over it.
Huh. I thought E was elephant.
Explains a few things...

Well, not exactly. I mean, E can be an elephant but it can ALSO be an elk.
Gray E = Elephant.
Brown E = Elk.

In some cases, these both can be very very bad.
Mostly around evil biomes, because you know, there's nothing more horrible than hordes of skelks.
Just ask Hellcannon.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on November 28, 2011, 10:30:55 am
See, that's why I play with tiles. Stupid colorblindness.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on November 28, 2011, 03:37:13 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on November 28, 2011, 10:30:55 am
See, that's why I play with tiles. Stupid colorblindness.
In this particular case it wouldn't really matter, since elks and elephants never appear in the same biome. I'm not actually sure if there are any creatures that share a biome and also a tile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: murdersmith on November 29, 2011, 11:35:57 am
Started to play a year or two back, made one or two forts learning the ropes. Fore some reason quit until now.  Yesterday got may first real fortress up and going - all is nice and I am happy.

Then the first caravan comes. I have mad a bit of trade goods, get those to the depot, form a good deal at approximate value of 5000 (finally some anvils!). Am ready to press (t), but then I notice the (o)ffer  option. Thinking that it means "offer your proposed deal for review so that the merchant does not get angry if his profit is too low", I press it... no anvils for me.

Moments later my carpenter, one of the founding seven, claims workshop and starts demanding things -
   -logs I have;
   -tanned hide I don't have, but I set up required industry and butchered my yak;
   -yarn cloth.. I was going to trade from merchant, but then just gave him all my stuff for free - don't have.

This facepalm cost me years profit and a founding member.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: blake77 on November 29, 2011, 11:55:56 am
Rob the merchants. You can either deconstruct the trade depot or seize their goods.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lemunde on November 29, 2011, 11:47:08 pm
Had a fortress running for about 7 years, with everything going smoothly. There were about a dozen FBs running around in a cave I had blocked off so I finally decided to employ one of my patented FB traps. All was going well, everything was in place. So I go to dig the final hole to let the FBs in and the moment I do one of my dwarves darts into the cave. Two of her children mindlessly follow in after her. Too late I realized that I had left the auto-collect webs option on. I turned it off but the idiot dwarf had already made up her mind. The forgotten beasts wrath was swift and terrible.

What followed was a series of critical mistakes as I desperately tried to salvage my trap. In the end the FBs mercilessly swarmed into my fortress, slaughtering everything in their path.   :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: runhidesurvive on November 30, 2011, 08:00:47 am
i always manage to kill off a high master miner or two somehow and when i do everything grinds to a halt in my fortress, also i never seem to get farms right
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sallen on November 30, 2011, 08:24:03 am
Mirthful surroundings, soil, shallow and deep metals, flux, a waterfall, plenty of trees and plants. Paradise.

I find the perfect spot for what would be the most impressive fortress ever made (heh)... Trying to make a spiral ramp I screw up and my miner ends up trapped. I set my mason to mining duty and manage to collapse half the hill on top of him while clearing the entrance. He won't wake up. Several other minor facepalms later I decide to abandon and reclaim.

The perfect embarking site, tainted by my own stupidity >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Henrik Undrgrim on November 30, 2011, 08:58:35 am
When I realised a resetting pressure plate connected to my retracting bridge was causing it to open and close allowing goblins in to the main hallway in small groups during seiges. ::)Wont make that mistake again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yoink on November 30, 2011, 09:20:34 am
Quote from: Sallen on November 30, 2011, 08:24:03 am
Several other minorminer facepalms later I decide to abandon and reclaim.

Fixed that for ya! *ba-dum tish* ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ultimuh on November 30, 2011, 01:19:46 pm
Quote from: Yoink on November 30, 2011, 09:20:34 am
Quote from: Sallen on November 30, 2011, 08:24:03 am
Several other minorminer facepalms later I decide to abandon and reclaim.

Fixed that for ya! *ba-dum tish* ;D

Mining related puns ensues in 3... 2.. 1..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on November 30, 2011, 01:23:24 pm
I embarked in a new location with two woodcutters and no axe...so far lots of peeved dwarves waiting to take their turn laying on the two wood beds we've got in the sleeping area...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: runhidesurvive on November 30, 2011, 01:33:17 pm
Quote from: floundericiousWA on November 30, 2011, 01:23:24 pm
I embarked in a new location with two woodcutters and no axe...so far lots of peeved dwarves waiting to take their turn laying on the two wood beds we've got in the sleeping area...
do you have any wood? you could make training axes and if you dont have wood you could dissasemble the wagon
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ultimuh on November 30, 2011, 01:35:44 pm
Quote from: runhidesurvive on November 30, 2011, 01:33:17 pm
Quote from: floundericiousWA on November 30, 2011, 01:23:24 pm
I embarked in a new location with two woodcutters and no axe...so far lots of peeved dwarves waiting to take their turn laying on the two wood beds we've got in the sleeping area...
do you have any wood? you could make training axes and if you dont have wood you could dissasemble the wagon

Seems like he already did, built carpentry with one unit of wood, then used the other two to build beds.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on November 30, 2011, 02:05:21 pm
Quote from: Sallen on November 30, 2011, 08:24:03 am
Trying to make a spiral ramp I screw up and my miner ends up trapped.
Try screwing down next time.

I make a single-tile up/down staircase where the middle of the spiral would be. It allows access to all floors, gives you a point of reference, and reserves space for either a fast access path or a long shaft that can be used for something. I'm thinking a giant mist generator here, with the water being passed constantly from pump to pump and never needing to be topped up.

Also, you can get hold of the worldgen parameters and get a second go at the world, and then make a backup copy of the untouched world.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on November 30, 2011, 02:52:42 pm
Quote from: Ultimuh on November 30, 2011, 01:35:44 pm
Quote from: runhidesurvive on November 30, 2011, 01:33:17 pm
Quote from: floundericiousWA on November 30, 2011, 01:23:24 pm
I embarked in a new location with two woodcutters and no axe...so far lots of peeved dwarves waiting to take their turn laying on the two wood beds we've got in the sleeping area...
do you have any wood? you could make training axes and if you dont have wood you could dissasemble the wagon

Seems like he already did, built carpentry with one unit of wood, then used the other two to build beds.

Actually it's better than that... I built carpentry with one unit of stone then used wood to build two beds and a table (because you can't build tables with stone!!!....wait for it....wait for it.....*WHAM* facepalm).

No !fun! yet but angry bored dwarves could be very !FUN! in short order.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ultimuh on November 30, 2011, 10:27:16 pm
Quote from: floundericiousWA on November 30, 2011, 02:52:42 pm
Quote from: Ultimuh on November 30, 2011, 01:35:44 pm
Quote from: runhidesurvive on November 30, 2011, 01:33:17 pm
Quote from: floundericiousWA on November 30, 2011, 01:23:24 pm
I embarked in a new location with two woodcutters and no axe...so far lots of peeved dwarves waiting to take their turn laying on the two wood beds we've got in the sleeping area...
do you have any wood? you could make training axes and if you dont have wood you could dissasemble the wagon

Seems like he already did, built carpentry with one unit of wood, then used the other two to build beds.

Actually it's better than that... I built carpentry with one unit of stone then used wood to build two beds and a table (because you can't build tables with stone!!!....wait for it....wait for it.....*WHAM* facepalm).

No !fun! yet but angry bored dwarves could be very !FUN! in short order.

What? Cannot build tables with stone?
Then what have I been building all this time?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: roughedge on December 01, 2011, 12:18:03 am
I ordered the mass slaughter of a HUGE hatchery and kennels. Miasma was a certain endeavour for all sorts of reason. More than half of the food was wasted and in the process it caused major tantruming and a cascade of murder, imprisonment, random object throwing and such.... My fortress was a booming center of well being, now it is full of dwarves getting used to slaughter! Come to think of it, Thumbs Up!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Endiqua on December 01, 2011, 10:45:26 am
Quote from: Ultimuh on November 30, 2011, 10:27:16 pm
What? Cannot build tables with stone?
Then what have I been building all this time?

I think that's the facepalm.   :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Akura on December 03, 2011, 01:48:51 pm
While working on my Pokemon mod, I noticed Butterfree's various [MATERIAL_BREATH_ATTACK]s were causing it, and everyone else around them, to melt to death. Then while zoning out at work, I realized they were shooting gas(all but one use UNDIRECTED_VAPOR, the other, to mimic Confusion, is TRAILING_DUST_FLOW to push stuff around), and I had defined only a solid state name and a melting temperature.


Only that was wrong. I never also put in liquid state definitions, and those were causing puddles of burnt Butterfree, along with the occassional melted alpaca. I'm still getting "caught in a burst of  !" messages, but so far, the only meltings so far have been after getting hit with a [FIREBREATH]-based attack(which has otherwise been 100% ineffective at doing anything for some reason).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: stonedwarrior on December 03, 2011, 02:15:15 pm
some giant badgers appeared and i tought they would be a good target for my military to train. one dwarf was killed 3 dwarfs drowned in a murky pool....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WolfeyS on December 03, 2011, 09:53:21 pm
Quote from: stonedwarrior on December 03, 2011, 02:15:15 pm
some giant badgers appeared and i tought they would be a good target for my military to train. one dwarf was killed 3 dwarfs drowned in a murky pool....

So 3 dorfs thought that combat = swimming?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fishbulb on December 03, 2011, 10:47:04 pm
Quote from: stonedwarrior on December 03, 2011, 02:15:15 pm
some giant badgers appeared and i tought they would be a good target for my military to train. one dwarf was killed 3 dwarfs drowned in a murky pool....

Replace "badger" with "capybara" and the exact same thing happened to me. An entire squad drowned in a puddle, and the little rat just meandered off the map.

Note to self: Build a highly elaborate, automated, and preferably catastrophe-prone system for training the recruits in swimming.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: runhidesurvive on December 04, 2011, 01:17:35 pm
Quote from: Fishbulb on December 03, 2011, 10:47:04 pm
Quote from: stonedwarrior on December 03, 2011, 02:15:15 pm
some giant badgers appeared and i tought they would be a good target for my military to train. one dwarf was killed 3 dwarfs drowned in a murky pool....

Replace "badger" with "capybara" and the exact same thing happened to me. An entire squad drowned in a puddle, and the little rat just meandered off the map.

Note to self: Build a highly elaborate, automated, and preferably catastrophe-prone system for training the recruits in swimming.
you could just get the genesis mod, that has a swimming pool
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ProGenitor on December 04, 2011, 01:39:48 pm
-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WolfeyS on December 04, 2011, 06:28:06 pm
Dude create a thread for that atleast, not here.  That's my WTF moment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Frog on December 06, 2011, 02:24:44 pm
I like modding in races, but using one of the pre-existing language files annoyed me, so I decided that the obvious solution was to waste 10 hours of my life writing a program that would generate an internally-consistent list of made-up words. Please consider that absolutely nobody will likely ever see or care about the state of my mods' language files except myself.

That's not the facepalm moment, by the way. That's just my attempt at bragging.

While the program could spit out phonemic pronunciations, I was too lazy to bother teaching it how to come up with spellings for the words. That would require thought and effort, you see.
This meant that, for each language file, I would have to transliterate every single hodgepodge of capital and lowercase letters into something actual humans could read and pronounce. For those of you who have better things to do than count how many words DF knows, that's more than 2500 words that I would have to manually write out.

"It's not like you have a choice," I told myself; "It's not like you could check to see if's there's a utility for that or, y'know, just shut up and use one of the pre-existing languages." So I got down to work.

1 and 1/5 language files, 3 mind-numbing hours and more than 3000 words later, I learned that there is a utility called DFLang that claimed to be able to take a list of at least 100 words from any real or made-up language and use them to generate a DF language file containing words that could belong to the source language.
I downloaded it and gave it a test run, hoping to Armok that, for the sake of my pride, it would prove to be another half-assed piece of amateurish crud that would crash if you looked at it funny and wouldn't work right even at the best of times.
To my absolute horror, it worked perfectly, cutting the amount of words I needed to transliterate for Language #2 from 2500 to 200, just as it would have done for Language #1 had I actually bothered to check the forums first before I put in any potentially-unnecessary work.

Is it okay to cry if the injury's self-inflicted?

EDIT: Phonetic. Phonemic. One flubbed letter, two distinct meanings. Urrrrgh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on December 06, 2011, 06:19:59 pm
You could have saved yourself the trouble of writing the program too. There's a name generator here (http://www.rinkworks.com/namegen/) that can be used to produce consistent names / words. I just fed it several instances of the North American Spanish scrabble set and sifted through the results, but you can generate a pageful of letter combinations pronounceable by human tongues.

I used that and then took the results to Notepad so I could reuse the same stems for words that were considered symbolically important (I think the words for 'soul' and 'spider' were almost the same), but I got fed up with the typing. If I were to go back to that race and finish it off I'd use DFLang, feed it what I'd done so far, and then alter the important words myself...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on December 06, 2011, 09:14:53 pm
On those above, I'd really think we now need a compilation thread in the Modding board of links to those programs or such.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eidolon on December 06, 2011, 09:34:17 pm
First migrant wave in a new fortress.
(http://img.ie/422b3.jpg)

"You're a jeweler now."
"But my life's passion is dissecting fish, you monster!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Frog on December 06, 2011, 10:14:59 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on December 06, 2011, 06:19:59 pm
[Horrifying revelation]

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRThanks a bunch for the tip, I'll check it outRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHH *

Not Really An Edit: Well, actually, the program I wrote generates strings of phonemes (i.e. a bunch of symbols showing how the "word" is pronounced) instead of actual, writable words (like what I'm pretty sure the program you linked to does), which I thought was a better approach. Admittedly, that's not much of a distinction and one could probably get that program you linked to to do the same exact thing with minimal effort, but if it lets me pretend that I didn't just blithely waste 10 hours of my life then I'll take it.

(Seriously, though, thanks for the link. I'll keep messing around with it.)

* A post in a thread about facepalms has caused me to facepalm. Huh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Archereon on December 07, 2011, 12:46:22 am
Quote from: Fishbulb on December 03, 2011, 10:47:04 pm
Quote from: stonedwarrior on December 03, 2011, 02:15:15 pm
some giant badgers appeared and i tought they would be a good target for my military to train. one dwarf was killed 3 dwarfs drowned in a murky pool....

Replace "badger" with "capybara" and the exact same thing happened to me. An entire squad drowned in a puddle, and the little rat just meandered off the map.

Note to self: Build a highly elaborate, automated, and preferably catastrophe-prone system for training the recruits in swimming.

Wow, I had the exact opposite problem with my squads. They kept killing capybara, going back towards the fortress and aggroing more along the way.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on December 07, 2011, 01:35:40 am
Quote from: Archereon on December 07, 2011, 12:46:22 am
Quote from: Fishbulb on December 03, 2011, 10:47:04 pm
Quote from: stonedwarrior on December 03, 2011, 02:15:15 pm
some giant badgers appeared and i tought they would be a good target for my military to train. one dwarf was killed 3 dwarfs drowned in a murky pool....

Replace "badger" with "capybara" and the exact same thing happened to me. An entire squad drowned in a puddle, and the little rat just meandered off the map.

Note to self: Build a highly elaborate, automated, and preferably catastrophe-prone system for training the recruits in swimming.

Wow, I had the exact opposite problem with my squads. They kept killing capybara, going back towards the fortress and aggroing more along the way.

The problem with capy is not that they will kill your soldiers through brute strength, but that your soldiers will attempt to attack them when the capy decides to hide in water. I swear one of my soldiers literally jumped in after one once...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on December 07, 2011, 12:04:11 pm
Quote from: EmeraldWind on December 07, 2011, 01:35:40 am
The problem with capy is not that they will kill your soldiers through brute strength, but that your soldiers will attempt to attack them when the capy decides to hide in water. I swear one of my soldiers literally jumped in after one once...

Which is easy enough to prevent if you dig ramps into all the murky pools.  My most recent death to drowning was because someone decided to wrestle a cave crocodile in 2 or 3 z-levels of water and then could not figure out how to path out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ieb on December 07, 2011, 03:06:34 pm
Recently I carved a large room for housing some of the population. While at it, I thought a good and nice party room would be great too that far down into the fort. So, I put up some cages. Right now we have a giant magma crab in display, along with an obsidian siren, fire imp and a tame bat.

Soon after the first party was thrown, a thresher bleeds to death. Zoom in, it's right on the obsidian siren cage. I can only conclude that heat is generated from the creature, enough to melt your fat and kill you, but not enough to set the cage on fire. Regardless, cage was ordered for destruction to prevent further stupid deaths.

At least they weren't THAT known around the fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shinotsa on December 07, 2011, 03:19:38 pm
Quote from: Ieb on December 07, 2011, 03:06:34 pm
Recently I carved a large room for housing some of the population. While at it, I thought a good and nice party room would be great too that far down into the fort. So, I put up some cages. Right now we have a giant magma crab in display, along with an obsidian siren, fire imp and a tame bat.

Soon after the first party was thrown, a thresher bleeds to death. Zoom in, it's right on the obsidian siren cage. I can only conclude that heat is generated from the creature, enough to melt your fat and kill you, but not enough to set the cage on fire. Regardless, cage was ordered for destruction to prevent further stupid deaths.

At least they weren't THAT known around the fort.

Put the cage in a pit. Toss your foes into the pit. Alternatively you could build it in an area that's traveled every now and again but not too terribly often to melt the fat off your dwarves and make them fireproof. Though every attempt I've seen at fireproofing has ended terribly you'd be almost guarenteed to have legendary doctors before long.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ieb on December 07, 2011, 06:20:35 pm
I'd rather not risk my skilled workers to the mercy of the elder RNG gods.
That and I already disposed of the siren.

My enemies are disposed of in the good old way, by lots and lots of adamantine weaponry and face-to-face combat.

Except for that god damn crossbower who has shot 4 FB's this year, 3 of them during one week(it was one HELL of a week).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serrational on December 08, 2011, 05:18:15 am
The kitchens must have been going "Best. Week. EVER."

Anyone up for a FB tallow biscuit?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ieb on December 08, 2011, 06:27:16 am
I'll say. Two of the FB's were inorganic though. One made of salt, other from ash. But yeah, there's a whole god damn pile of FB meat to process now and add to the larders.

I figured the guy was a goner too when a noseless bat from hell flew right over the fortifications and attacked. By the time backup arrived, the guy finally levels his crossbow and shoots the bat right through the head, tearing the brain.

To balance out the stroke of good luck, the militia commander had drowned a few weeks earlier. Chased after a bunch of gobbos, dodged into the river and drowned.

He was also a legendary armorer. Luckily there's like 45 sets of armor made solely by him so it's not like I'm running out of gear, and there are other armorers too.  But still.

God damn dodging. We need an AI upgrade on that so soldiers try to dodge in directions that don't have 'em falling down a z-level.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serrational on December 08, 2011, 08:41:42 am
Quote from: Ieb on December 08, 2011, 06:27:16 am
I figured the guy was a goner too when a noseless bat from hell flew right over the fortifications and attacked.

Sigged like HELL.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stivsko on December 08, 2011, 09:47:09 am
First time trying to do the "make your own tools" thing.
I go with 10 copper bars, 1 unit of coke and 1 anvil. I spent half an hour fine-tuning my expedition.
I got an axe to chop down trees if needed.

I get to the site and immediately want to set the forge and get the "No fire-safe materials available" XD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AiresPenlaw on December 08, 2011, 12:12:38 pm
I've just discovered how to use a Civilian Alert. Previously, I'd manually assigned every single Dwarf to an "emergency" burrow, thinking "There's got to be a quicker way". I've been playing for over a year now.

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fishbulb on December 08, 2011, 12:54:08 pm
Quote from: AiresPenlaw on December 08, 2011, 12:12:38 pm
thinking "There's got to be a quicker way".

Don't feel bad about that one. This is Dwarf Fortress. There doesn't, and there often isn't. Whenever I find I've been doing something the hard way when there's an easy way ("auto loom dyed thread") I'm pleasantly surprised. My moans and groans are moans and groans of pleasant surprise. Yes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on December 08, 2011, 01:09:09 pm
Quote from: Stivsko on December 08, 2011, 09:47:09 am
First time trying to do the "make your own tools" thing.
I go with 10 copper bars, 1 unit of coke and 1 anvil. I spent half an hour fine-tuning my expedition.
I got an axe to chop down trees if needed.

I get to the site and immediately want to set the forge and get the "No fire-safe materials available" XD

Um, isn't copper fire safe?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on December 09, 2011, 02:39:46 am
You have to go into the Z-menu/stone area to make it available to build with.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eoganachta on December 09, 2011, 05:46:33 am
My smith went into a mood and started gathering items. Iron bars. Good, I could get a weapon from this! She started working and I get Bluntglistens, a iron toy axe. Now Armok is mocking me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadenight123 on December 09, 2011, 07:05:23 am
my armorer went in fey mood.
he emerged with a sterling silver boot artifact made with puppy bones, and depicting scenery of dragon eating the damn elf.
(THAT ELF IS ON 75% of my statues!)
then another one grabs a mood.
Ends up that he built the most usual stuff you could possibly build at a metalsmith...
a BUCKET.
a BUCKET WORTH 56000 DWARVEN UNITS.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on December 09, 2011, 07:46:36 am
Great thing! Now find artifact rope and artifact mechanism and build well!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadenight123 on December 09, 2011, 07:54:45 am
Quote from: Kogut on December 09, 2011, 07:46:36 am
Great thing! Now find artifact rope and artifact mechanism and build well!

i've got an artifact bag, earing, but no rope and stuff.
but you know, i could dress one of my dwarves like a drag queen and have him parade around the fortress to make happy thoughts of who see him...

...
i'm going to try this. XD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fishbulb on December 09, 2011, 08:57:51 am
I got an artifact cave spider silk sock this morning. It's worth 5,720 dwarfbucks, and it doesn't menace with spikes of anything.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on December 09, 2011, 11:05:23 am
Quote from: Fishbulb on December 09, 2011, 08:57:51 am
I got an artifact cave spider silk sock this morning. It's worth 5,720 dwarfbucks, and it doesn't menace with spikes of anything.
DO WANT
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WolfeyS on December 09, 2011, 12:42:01 pm
Somehow my friend had an iron axe worth 52 thousand dorfbucks.  Bug maybe but I wanted it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on December 09, 2011, 01:01:52 pm
Quote from: WolfeyS on December 09, 2011, 12:42:01 pm
Somehow my friend had an iron axe worth 52 thousand dorfbucks.  Bug maybe but I wanted it.
DO WANTx2
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fishbulb on December 09, 2011, 01:19:42 pm
Necro910 cancels whatever: storing owned item.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WolfeyS on December 09, 2011, 01:22:22 pm
Necro910 cancels burning elves while screaming magma: storing owned looted item.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on December 09, 2011, 01:31:19 pm
Quote from: WolfeyS on December 09, 2011, 01:22:22 pm
Necro910 cancels burning elves while screaming magma: storing owned looted item.
Lies! I AM MULTITASKING!

Dear Armok, what have I done.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WolfeyS on December 09, 2011, 01:54:07 pm
Derailed another thread
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on December 09, 2011, 02:09:33 pm
Quote from: WolfeyS on December 09, 2011, 01:54:07 pm
Derailed another thread
... Fuck.

I believe this would count as a facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WolfeyS on December 09, 2011, 02:18:10 pm
Rerailed.  All my dwarves just died of thirst.  Oops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on December 09, 2011, 05:22:53 pm
Completely forgot to set up any form of defence in my latest fort, was wiped out by the first ambush.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ieb on December 10, 2011, 02:58:22 am
So it's Autumn and I'm waiting for the dwarven caravan to arrive with my order of steel trinkets to melt and some steel armor and gear(the best metal I have onsite is bronze, and adamantine is too easy).

And a goblin siege arrives. I knew there was trouble abound when an ambush squad arrived the month before with it's leader on a war earth dragon.

This time ALL the goblins were riding on dragons. Crossbowers? They were on dragons, shooting arrows while the dragons breath fire. Melee guys? Also on dragons, which spat fire while closing in on anything.

Fuck.

They arrived just after the merchants too, so I keep the gates open in hopes that they'll get inside before they're turned into dorf jerky. They don't. As waves of flame turn merchants into piles of molten dwarf, hordes of my dorfs start surging towards the surface because this game somehow hates me(at times, crap that's left by merchants doesn't get forbidden automatically despite your settings). I keep it under control, forbid everything again and mostly keep things in order.

Then I see that one of my fishermen has gone outside.

FFFFFuck.

Found out a while ago that sometimes, the game resets my "zone-only fishing" order so anyone with fishing activated takes every god damn chance they can to go out and fish.

The guy was a soldier too, but you know how it is with one dorf VS roughly 30 goblins and dragons.

One soldier less, the goblin siege immediately breaks off from their usual "lets fuck around the surface and mock the dwarves" routine and barbecues the rest of the merchants and their guards.

FINALLY someone pulls the god damn lever and the entrance is sealed.

Then I found out in quite hilarious fashion that I had not taken into consideration heat damage when I made my airlock gates. Because one stray firebreath melted one of them. Those gates are the only things keeping enemies from getting into the fort too. One allows direct access, the other I use to drop enemies down 15 levels and smash into bits.

Guess which one the dragon melted?

FFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK.

One hasty order later, civilians are running screaming to shelter(most of them didn't get there and I hadn't thought of building a more easily accessible bomb shelter(note to self, do that)), soldiers are rushing to the entrance and war dragons, with their riders, enter the caverns.

In the next ten seconds, everything was covered in flames. Trade depot was washed over several times, smoke was everywhere, civilians crowded a small 2x2 tunnel in panic as enemies engaged the soldiers that had gotten to the site.

Dozens of masterwork gold trinkets were lost in the fire, soldiers were dying.

And then the game crashed.

I've noticed that temp calculations always kill my DF. Try to drown the fort in magma? The game crashes. Now I had to add "dozens of dragons breathing fire on fucking everything" to the list, and remove temperature.

Sad, but I am now at 36 FPS at 208 dorfs so I'm not complaining TOO much.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: peskyninja on December 10, 2011, 06:36:55 am
My Supremme lengendary armorsmith WAS ATOMSMASHED.
Facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on December 10, 2011, 06:42:19 am
Played with the raws and completely made a stable and civil entity.

Took a long time to gen a 'proper' world, as that entity likes good biomes (sunberries!!). Then sent in an expedition team.

Then I finally noticed in my new nobles that I forgot a manager in with all my messing around.

Hello random people in workshops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tlc2011 on December 10, 2011, 03:28:21 pm
Quote from: WolfeyS on December 09, 2011, 01:54:07 pm
Derailed another thread

...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Anyway, it's nice to have you back necro.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Captain Swing on December 10, 2011, 04:38:34 pm
I built a badass fort around a canyon. On the layer where the river was, I had a dining room exposed to the waterfall so that the dwarves were cheered up by the mist and an open-air meeting hall (from here on referred to as the O.A.M.H) over the river because I was paranoid about cave adaptation. When the river froze over, the dwarves strolled freely between the O.A.M.H and the dining room over the ice. I tried to build a fortifications around the O.A.M.H to stop this, but because I had forgotten about no-traffic areas, when the spring came...

Sploosh.

About half of my dwarves suddenly found that they had no floor above them, fell in the river and promptly drowned, starting an immense tantrum spiral that destroyed my fort. It was both the funniest and most frustrating thing ever to happen to me on Dwarf Fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on December 11, 2011, 07:49:56 am
I had a nice site on which I was going to build a large above-ground tower. I got the fort set up and into its second year, and only then realised I'd left the worldgen settings at '5 levels above ground'.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on December 11, 2011, 08:48:29 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on December 11, 2011, 07:49:56 am
I had a nice site on which I was going to build a large above-ground tower. I got the fort set up and into its second year, and only then realised I'd left the worldgen settings at '5 levels above ground'.
Quote from: Surprising Revelation
left the worldgen settings at '5 levels above ground'.
Knowing only now that there is something affecting how far up you view. After building numerous above-ground forts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: moisesjns on December 11, 2011, 11:28:59 am
i have played this game for like a year, and yesterday i finally learned how to make up/down staircases.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zubb2 on December 11, 2011, 07:19:49 pm
Was digging a hallway in an aquifer heavy embark and got the dampstone message ignored it because i thought it was just surface pools,they dig it out an all of a sudden the hallway starts billowing water.

Tried to build a wall it got overtaken by water so dug some emergency chanels across the hall just to slow it down,found out the very aquifer that was about to drown us saved us as the wall aquifer drained into the floor aquifer.

I now have my best ever fort with an eternaly draining hallway in an obscure corner.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: daggaz on December 12, 2011, 05:46:45 pm
I found a great embark site, very newb friendly, lots of minerals, huge chasm, flat heavily forested plateau cut off from the rest of the map.. the works.  So i savescummed it for practise.  Its missing a magma pipe so far, but the thing is, its not missing badgers.  Badgers, everywhere.  Enraging, latching on to my lambs, chasing and molesting the dwarven children.   Ugh.

So finally I got my head on straight and quickly knocked out all the ramps to the plateau.  Then I built a long tunnel in to the center, and stuffed it with cage traps.  At first, the badgers almost got thru, but I was lucky and they stopped just in time for me to rush out and replenish the cages.  The next wave, I had more than enough traps in place, and those badgers had no chance.  Over time, the badger tide slowly ebbed away into a mere trickle, until finally, it stopped. 

Cue the caravan.  Ive been so busy trapping badgers and chiseling out my new fort after proper specs for once, I havent made any crafts.  You know what I do have, tho? (you can see where this is going).  My army of haulers rushes into the depot with their arms bracing with over two dozen badger cages.  Which promptly get released.  It is badger mahem, in the dead center of my fort.  My "military" runs around in a panic.  The civilians run around in a panic.  In a panic, my newly arrived furnace operator dodges into the central waterfall, and careens over 15 z levels to his death.  My dwarves refuse to clear a wall to get to his corpse, and miasma is backing up and filling the lower levels of my fort.  And there are still badgers hiding in the mist. 

I am starting to have !fun! now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PhantomXD on December 12, 2011, 08:36:07 pm
Quote from: daggaz on December 12, 2011, 05:46:45 pm
My dwarves refuse to clear a wall to get to his corpse, and miasma is backing up and filling the lower levels of my fort.  And there are still badgers hiding in the mist. 

I am starting to have !fun! now.

Saw this and had to do it.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Powder Miner on December 12, 2011, 11:14:02 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on December 11, 2011, 07:49:56 am
I had a nice site on which I was going to build a large above-ground tower. I got the fort set up and into its second year, and only then realised I'd left the worldgen settings at '5 levels above ground'.
All is not lost, just dig the ground to a lower level.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on December 13, 2011, 12:30:39 pm
Quote from: zubb2 on December 11, 2011, 07:19:49 pm
Was digging a hallway in an aquifer heavy embark and got the dampstone message ignored it because i thought it was just surface pools,they dig it out an all of a sudden the hallway starts billowing water.

Tried to build a wall it got overtaken by water so dug some emergency chanels across the hall just to slow it down,found out the very aquifer that was about to drown us saved us as the wall aquifer drained into the floor aquifer.

I now have my best ever fort with an eternaly draining hallway in an obscure corner.

I once used that trick to dig out a huge area.  After 2 babies drowned, I figured out how to use grates.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Raikaria on December 13, 2011, 02:21:53 pm
Being a relative newbie to DF, I naturally became excited when I found magma, as I could finally smelt stuff. I have iron ores, but no coal.

By extension, due to having no metals, I haven't made a military.

Almost as soon as I breach the small part of cavern I need to, a Giant Crocodile decides to charge into my fortress, before I could do anything to prevent it, like remove the slopes.

Que half my dwarfs dying... until Urist Mc TradersGuard charges at the crocodile and kills it.

Here's the thing. The traders had LEFT a good five minuites of game time before. Urist Mc TradersGuard vanished right afterwards.

Unfortunetly, all the dwarves I lost were important ones. I lost my Mason and my Carpenter and my Mechanic and my brewer. Between the five dwarfves I had left, production grinded to a halt. The loss of both of my dogs didn't help things.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PijanySmok on December 13, 2011, 08:26:35 pm
My new fortress, just epic place where I had everything I needed. First caravan comes, I'm trading my masterpieces for food anvils and other useful stuff (bought about 50% caravan). Caravan is leaving.
*2 minutes later*
Dwarfs starved to death

OMG F****** ELVES STOLE MY ITEMS

Well don't ask I don't know how that happened but they took my crafts and the stuff I bought.


Another fortress.
Yay new fortress even more epic place.
*1minute later*
"has drowned"
My dwarf was standing on a river(ice) when spring came.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on December 13, 2011, 10:56:27 pm
Did you press 'o', or 't'? 'Offer' and 'trade' are not the same thing.

And it was probably the dwarves that stole your stuff, since they're the first caravan and elves don't carry anvils.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: daggaz on December 14, 2011, 03:56:04 am
I just figured out why moats under drawbridges is a really good idea, at least in areas where your dwarves will be commuting to work slacking off.   Hello Mr. Highmaster Jeweller, welcome to Buttravaged.   Good bye, Mr. Highmaster Jeweller.   We'ld put up a memorial slab, but it seems you've been atomized so ...meh, why bother?

Also, chaining my guard dogs up near the bridge wasn't too brilliant, either.   Looked nice.. but.. no.   

And of course, to top it all off... you have to dig the moat FIRST.  Man do I love this game!

@PhantomXD: heheh, that is awesome  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PijanySmok on December 14, 2011, 08:01:51 am
Well this is failest fail I ever had in this failtastic world.

I started new fortress. The place was fucking epic, I started digging and in first minutes i found loads of silver. Then I went some on youtube while my dwarfs were working. When I came back, I had only two dwarfs left. All of them drowned because ice has melted and I didn't realize my workshops and stores were on a lake from where I was digging entrance to my fortress. SOOOOOOOO FAIL

A little question:
I still don't get it. What's better - shallow or deep metals?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on December 14, 2011, 08:06:55 am
thats a pretty epic fail yes
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on December 14, 2011, 01:39:28 pm
Quote from: PijanySmok on December 14, 2011, 08:01:51 am
A little question:
I still don't get it. What's better - shallow or deep metals?
Shallow metals could possible be considered better, since you don't have to dig down very far to get them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fishybang on December 14, 2011, 04:06:29 pm
My chief medical dwarf is taking a break during a goblinseige. I thank he's trying to tell me something... Facepalm...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pardus on December 14, 2011, 04:13:29 pm
I had a bunch of injured dwarves in my hospital after a siege, and the doctors were tasting them and everything. One of them had both his hands ripped off. I decided to make a well, so I designated a channel to the river. My mind derped and my dwarf dug the last block. He drowned and got eaten by carp. My hospital was flooded, so I locked the doctors and injured dwarves into the hospital to avoid flooding my whole fortress.

*Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grax on December 14, 2011, 04:18:05 pm
Quote from: Pardus on December 14, 2011, 04:13:29 pm
I had a bunch of injured dwarves in my hospital after a siege, and the doctors were tasting them and everything. One of them had both his hands ripped off. I decided to make a well, so I designated a channel to the river. My mind derped and my dwarf dug the last block. He drowned and got eaten by carp. My hospital was flooded, so I locked the doctors and injured dwarves into the hospital to avoid flooding my whole fortress.

*Facepalm*
Now you can make an aquarium of this hospital.
Next to the dining hall or bedrooms.
To harden the inner spirits.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serrational on December 15, 2011, 03:29:45 pm
With glass windows, and a noble-dumping system. Just so the commoners can have some fun watching the carnage, and to show them how rank works....

ie. Dwarf > Noble < Carp
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on December 15, 2011, 03:31:04 pm
Quote from: Serrational on December 15, 2011, 03:29:45 pm
With glass windows, and a noble-dumping system. Just so the commoners can have some fun watching the carnage, and to show them how rank works....

ie. Dwarf > Noble < Carp
That diagram shows that carp are simultaneously greater than AND less than, while not being equal. I approve.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Serrational on December 15, 2011, 03:58:02 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on December 15, 2011, 03:31:04 pm
Quote from: Serrational on December 15, 2011, 03:29:45 pm
With glass windows, and a noble-dumping system. Just so the commoners can have some fun watching the carnage, and to show them how rank works....

ie. Dwarf > Noble < Carp
That diagram shows that carp are simultaneously greater than AND less than, while not being equal. I approve.

Illogical diagrams for the win!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on December 16, 2011, 01:37:22 am
Quote from: Serrational on December 15, 2011, 03:58:02 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on December 15, 2011, 03:31:04 pm
Quote from: Serrational on December 15, 2011, 03:29:45 pm
With glass windows, and a noble-dumping system. Just so the commoners can have some fun watching the carnage, and to show them how rank works....

ie. Dwarf > Noble < Carp
That diagram shows that carp are simultaneously greater than AND less than, while not being equal. I approve.

Illogical diagrams for the win!

Not illogical... it is the same as saying:
Dwarf > Noble && Carp > Noble

It simply does not give the relationship between Carp and regular Dwarves...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: daggaz on December 16, 2011, 04:39:49 am
Quote from: EmeraldWind on December 16, 2011, 01:37:22 am

Not illogical... it is the same as saying:
Dwarf > Noble && Carp > Noble

It simply does not give the relationship between Carp and regular Dwarves...

we all know who wins that fight...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ultimuh on December 16, 2011, 05:12:54 am
Quote from: daggaz on December 16, 2011, 04:39:49 am
Quote from: EmeraldWind on December 16, 2011, 01:37:22 am

Not illogical... it is the same as saying:
Dwarf > Noble && Carp > Noble

It simply does not give the relationship between Carp and regular Dwarves...

we all know who wins that fight...

The noble who seem be a masterful biter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on December 16, 2011, 11:38:29 am
Quote from: Ultimuh on December 16, 2011, 05:12:54 am
Quote from: daggaz on December 16, 2011, 04:39:49 am
Quote from: EmeraldWind on December 16, 2011, 01:37:22 am

Not illogical... it is the same as saying:
Dwarf > Noble && Carp > Noble

It simply does not give the relationship between Carp and regular Dwarves...

we all know who wins that fight...

The noble who seem be a masterful biter.
How did you think he became so high ranking  ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PijanySmok on December 16, 2011, 11:49:39 am
Quote from: Necro910 on December 16, 2011, 11:38:29 am
Quote from: Ultimuh on December 16, 2011, 05:12:54 am
Quote from: daggaz on December 16, 2011, 04:39:49 am
Quote from: EmeraldWind on December 16, 2011, 01:37:22 am

Not illogical... it is the same as saying:
Dwarf > Noble && Carp > Noble

It simply does not give the relationship between Carp and regular Dwarves...

we all know who wins that fight...

The noble who seem be a masterful biter.
How did you think he became so high ranking  ;D
Is it even possible for a dwarf noble? xD

Is everyone here a pony already? :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on December 16, 2011, 12:13:16 pm
Quote from: PijanySmok on December 16, 2011, 11:49:39 am
Quote from: Necro910 on December 16, 2011, 11:38:29 am
Quote from: Ultimuh on December 16, 2011, 05:12:54 am
Quote from: daggaz on December 16, 2011, 04:39:49 am
Quote from: EmeraldWind on December 16, 2011, 01:37:22 am

Not illogical... it is the same as saying:
Dwarf > Noble && Carp > Noble

It simply does not give the relationship between Carp and regular Dwarves...

we all know who wins that fight...

The noble who seem be a masterful biter.
How did you think he became so high ranking  ;D
Is it even possible for a dwarf noble? xD
There are many, many ways to interpret what I said.

Quote from: PijanySmok on December 16, 2011, 11:49:39 am
Is everyone here a pony already? :o
Did you mean to ask that in my pony fortress thread? Or to ask if everyone here is a brony/pegasister?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PijanySmok on December 16, 2011, 12:29:54 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on December 16, 2011, 12:13:16 pm
Quote from: PijanySmok on December 16, 2011, 11:49:39 am
Quote from: Necro910 on December 16, 2011, 11:38:29 am
Quote from: Ultimuh on December 16, 2011, 05:12:54 am
Quote from: daggaz on December 16, 2011, 04:39:49 am
Quote from: EmeraldWind on December 16, 2011, 01:37:22 am

Not illogical... it is the same as saying:
Dwarf > Noble && Carp > Noble

It simply does not give the relationship between Carp and regular Dwarves...

we all know who wins that fight...

The noble who seem be a masterful biter.
How did you think he became so high ranking  ;D
Is it even possible for a dwarf noble? xD
There are many, many ways to interpret what I said.

Quote from: PijanySmok on December 16, 2011, 11:49:39 am
Is everyone here a pony already? :o
Did you mean to ask that in my pony fortress thread? Or to ask if everyone here is a brony/pegasister?

I mean that dwarfs are too stupid to be a biter:P
And ofc I mean a brony. Bronies ftw munch?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on December 16, 2011, 12:37:54 pm
Quote from: PijanySmok on December 16, 2011, 12:29:54 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on December 16, 2011, 12:13:16 pm
Quote from: PijanySmok on December 16, 2011, 11:49:39 am
Quote from: Necro910 on December 16, 2011, 11:38:29 am
Quote from: Ultimuh on December 16, 2011, 05:12:54 am
Quote from: daggaz on December 16, 2011, 04:39:49 am
Quote from: EmeraldWind on December 16, 2011, 01:37:22 am

Not illogical... it is the same as saying:
Dwarf > Noble && Carp > Noble

It simply does not give the relationship between Carp and regular Dwarves...

we all know who wins that fight...

The noble who seem be a masterful biter.
How did you think he became so high ranking  ;D
Is it even possible for a dwarf noble? xD
There are many, many ways to interpret what I said.

Quote from: PijanySmok on December 16, 2011, 11:49:39 am
Is everyone here a pony already? :o
Did you mean to ask that in my pony fortress thread? Or to ask if everyone here is a brony/pegasister?

I mean that dwarfs are too stupid to be a biter:P
And ofc I mean a brony. Bronies ftw munch?
Ah  :P

Yes, I am a brony. Not everyone here is one, but we have a presence  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PijanySmok on December 16, 2011, 12:41:51 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on December 16, 2011, 12:37:54 pm
Quote from: PijanySmok on December 16, 2011, 12:29:54 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on December 16, 2011, 12:13:16 pm
Quote from: PijanySmok on December 16, 2011, 11:49:39 am
Quote from: Necro910 on December 16, 2011, 11:38:29 am
Quote from: Ultimuh on December 16, 2011, 05:12:54 am
Quote from: daggaz on December 16, 2011, 04:39:49 am
Quote from: EmeraldWind on December 16, 2011, 01:37:22 am

Not illogical... it is the same as saying:
Dwarf > Noble && Carp > Noble

It simply does not give the relationship between Carp and regular Dwarves...

we all know who wins that fight...

The noble who seem be a masterful biter.
How did you think he became so high ranking  ;D
Is it even possible for a dwarf noble? xD
There are many, many ways to interpret what I said.

Quote from: PijanySmok on December 16, 2011, 11:49:39 am
Is everyone here a pony already? :o
Did you mean to ask that in my pony fortress thread? Or to ask if everyone here is a brony/pegasister?

I mean that dwarfs are too stupid to be a biter:P
And ofc I mean a brony. Bronies ftw munch?
Ah  :P

Yes, I am a brony. Not everyone here is one, but we have a presence  :D

I don't get it why theres so many new bronies everyday, when theres fuckload haters xD Hey Necro what's your cutie mark? xD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DuffDwarf on December 16, 2011, 12:46:23 pm
Hello^^
Im new to the game. But i cant change the z-levels^^ I tried to change the keys ingame but it seems that doesnt work, when i hit backspace, nothing happens. And i also tried to change them with the init.txt, but that doesnt work neither -.-
(sry for spamming here, but i didnt want to make a new topic about this, i have the feeling that this problem is common^^ but easy so solve)
greets
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on December 16, 2011, 01:18:24 pm
Quote from: DuffDwarf on December 16, 2011, 12:46:23 pm
Hello^^
Im new to the game. But i cant change the z-levels^^ I tried to change the keys ingame but it seems that doesnt work, when i hit backspace, nothing happens. And i also tried to change them with the init.txt, but that doesnt work neither -.-
(sry for spamming here, but i didnt want to make a new topic about this, i have the feeling that this problem is common^^ but easy so solve)
greets
The default keys are > and <. If you changed them, you'll need to press whatever key you assigned them to.

Quote from: PijanySmok on December 16, 2011, 12:41:51 pm
I don't get it why theres so many new bronies everyday, when theres fuckload haters xD Hey Necro what's your cutie mark? xD
I don't care about people who speak out of their ass. They don't watch the show, they don't have a right to comment  :P

(http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/n/e/necro910.png?1) ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PijanySmok on December 16, 2011, 02:26:53 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on December 16, 2011, 01:18:24 pm
Quote from: DuffDwarf on December 16, 2011, 12:46:23 pm
Hello^^
Im new to the game. But i cant change the z-levels^^ I tried to change the keys ingame but it seems that doesnt work, when i hit backspace, nothing happens. And i also tried to change them with the init.txt, but that doesnt work neither -.-
(sry for spamming here, but i didnt want to make a new topic about this, i have the feeling that this problem is common^^ but easy so solve)
greets
The default keys are > and <. If you changed them, you'll need to press whatever key you assigned them to.

Quote from: PijanySmok on December 16, 2011, 12:41:51 pm
I don't get it why theres so many new bronies everyday, when theres fuckload haters xD Hey Necro what's your cutie mark? xD
I don't care about people who speak out of their ass. They don't watch the show, they don't have a right to comment  :P

(http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/n/e/necro910.png?1) ;D

Oh that's a nice cutie mark there I see you're good at math xD
Did you notice that all bronies are really talented people? xD Fucking all bronies, and only talentless people can't be bronies so they're haters xD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on December 16, 2011, 03:15:20 pm
Really? I thought Necro's cutie mark would be
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
but maybe that's just me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on December 16, 2011, 04:10:28 pm
I'm good at math, but I don't like it too well. As most of the ponies have shown, the cutie mark is not to be interpreted literally. Example: Cheerilee's cutie mark is smiling flowers, representing the joy of teaching children. If you can figure out what mine is representing (No, not math), then you win a cookie  :P

Quote from: Jacob/Lee on December 16, 2011, 03:15:20 pm
Really? I thought Necro's cutie mark would be
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
but maybe that's just me.
Is this your card?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PijanySmok on December 16, 2011, 04:34:32 pm
Would be really hard as I can't see you IRL xD You'r good at building(or designing)? xD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on December 16, 2011, 04:38:53 pm
Quote from: PijanySmok on December 16, 2011, 04:34:32 pm
Would be really hard as I can't see you IRL xD You'r good at building(or designing)? xD
Eenope.

It's not a literal one, it's metaphorical. I don't expect you to get it, however  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on December 16, 2011, 04:42:41 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on December 16, 2011, 04:10:28 pm
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on December 16, 2011, 03:15:20 pm
Really? I thought Necro's cutie mark would be
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
but maybe that's just me.
Is this your card?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
*it is my card* Uh... Nope.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PijanySmok on December 16, 2011, 04:43:19 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on December 16, 2011, 04:38:53 pm
Quote from: PijanySmok on December 16, 2011, 04:34:32 pm
Would be really hard as I can't see you IRL xD You'r good at building(or designing)? xD
Eenope.

It's not a literal one, it's metaphorical. I don't expect you to get it, however  :P

I'll have to pass then, and wait till you show me your talent xD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Keldor on December 17, 2011, 07:32:28 am
Definitely a facepalm at the idea of the DF forums having a thriving MLP community.  I mean, isn't that sorta like putting Barny the Dinosaur up next to Jack the Ripper?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on December 17, 2011, 07:41:50 am
Quote from: Keldor on December 17, 2011, 07:32:28 am
Definitely a facepalm at the idea of the DF forums having a thriving MLP community.  I mean, isn't that sorta like putting Barny the Dinosaur up next to Jack the Ripper?

They both have their way...

And I palm > face knowing that my last dwarf drowned himself. Wrestling with the second to last goblin as they tumbled down the brook-waterfall. The last goblin just shot useless sticks, t'was fun seeing them fly past my dwarf and into the battlefield corpses.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bennerman on December 17, 2011, 12:12:59 pm
one of my first successful forts gets destroyed by a forced restart x.x
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kimril on December 17, 2011, 01:05:58 pm
had a dwarf dig deep down into caverns, and i was like 'ohgod i need to close that off' destroyed the stairs he got stuck and later eaten by a
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
that was milling around down there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on December 17, 2011, 04:30:07 pm
Quote from: Keldor on December 17, 2011, 07:32:28 am
Definitely a facepalm at the idea of the DF forums having a thriving MLP community.  I mean, isn't that sorta like putting Barny the Dinosaur up next to Jack the Ripper?
Even then you can make a comparison.

Dinosaur--->Killer

Dwarven Way--->Grimdark as fuck (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qTTzMqlRTHeHIarZZhwQhADc-1aff9fkHKWx-kn0wMk/edit?hl=en)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PijanySmok on December 17, 2011, 05:01:49 pm
Quote from: Keldor on December 17, 2011, 07:32:28 am
Definitely a facepalm at the idea of the DF forums having a thriving MLP community.  I mean, isn't that sorta like putting Barny the Dinosaur up next to Jack the Ripper?

Brony hater detected. Warm up the friendship cannon?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on December 17, 2011, 10:43:15 pm
Quote from: PijanySmok on December 17, 2011, 05:01:49 pm
Quote from: Keldor on December 17, 2011, 07:32:28 am
Definitely a facepalm at the idea of the DF forums having a thriving MLP community.  I mean, isn't that sorta like putting Barny the Dinosaur up next to Jack the Ripper?

Brony hater detected. Warm up the friendship cannon?

Please go to a different thread for that.  Some people aren't slavishly salivating over a cartoon aimed at 10 year olds, and would prefer not to have to wade through pages of meaningless fluff just to see new and impressive ways people have screwed up.

My most recent facepalm involved starting a fort with nothing(I removed all the picks and axes and food and stuff) to see if I could.  The good news is that the second test worked.  The first test I lost my miner to dehydration immediately after the ponds thawed.  I abandoned after I started losing dwarves to dehydration before the caravan showed up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Troopperi on December 18, 2011, 05:00:07 am
I didn't read know that when building a floor, I could simply choose the whole floors materials with shift+enter, instead of clicking fourty times "quartzite block".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Theifofdreams on December 19, 2011, 12:02:02 am
realizing, right as I run out of wood for the season, that I'm out of barrels, and have 7 units of booze left.
Fortunately, the caravan came almost 2 minutes later. With all the wood I asked for.

Also: That's an interesting metaphor there, necro.
I'm sure I'll forget in the morning though. ^^
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on December 19, 2011, 12:17:07 am
Quote from: Theifofdreams on December 19, 2011, 12:02:02 am
realizing, right as I run out of wood for the season, that I'm out of barrels, and have 7 units of booze left.
Fortunately, the caravan came almost 2 minutes later. With all the wood I asked for.
Rock pots also work as booze containers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ieb on December 19, 2011, 01:39:07 am
So. While plinking away at a FB of ice, for so long that every single bodypart of it was broken and riddled with bolts, I finally gave up trying and decided to send in the melee guys since crossbowers obviously weren't doing shit.

This thing had a deadly dust attack though, so I didn't really like the idea, but "luckily" the squad sent in was mainly composed of guys who fell victim to a poison gas FB attack earlier and had most of their skin removed during surgery. Advanced rot, and all that jazz.

Well anyway, there was trouble. First was that along the FB, a giant spider arrived. Just a normal cave critter so ehh. What's the worst that could happen?

Well, it's that the spider would decide to attack along the FB, making a beeline for the fort once the perimeter wall was torn down. And of course about a few moments later I found out that A) it's hard to fight a FB when it's accompanied by a webspitter and B) the deadly dust was the sort that makes you bleed to death in a few moments.

As luck would have it though, the militia captain of the squad did everyone a favor and bisected the FB a few seconds before they bursted into a shower of gore. The spider? It killed a miner. The last survivor of the squad engaged and killed the beast before it could kill anyone else, so for the time being, threat eliminated.

Except that a mason took the miners death pretty badly. So badly that they went to complain to the mayor. While tantruming. And the mayors pet pig arrived to the same room they were holding the meeting in.

In hindsight, giving a Civvie outfit(to combat deadly blood epidemics) along a personal weapon for everyone was a bad idea, considering how the mason chopped the pig to pieces. The mayor took it badly, went Unhappy, and the Mason was put in jail for 200 days.

Situation solved, right? There was also a tantruming jeweler who attacked a pet metroid and tried to kill a metalcrafter(who parried blows like a boss despite no military training) that got jailed but anyway.

A while later I get the announcement that the old mayors mandates are over. Reason why was simple. They had gone from Unhappy to Miserable and babbling insane in a matter of few weeks. Why? I have no god damn idea.

They were a good mayor too. Only wanted trifle pewter and beds. The new one wants at cabinets so far, but they got native gold and bolts down in the list too. At least it'd be some variety.

Oh and the mason? They died in prison. After the first few times dwarves brought them food and water, no one visited by the time they had 50 days to go. At least there were no cases of unhappiness resulting from the death of the old mayor and the mason.

But still, I'm down 4 seasoned and skilled military dorfs thanks to one fucking FB and it's hard to find replacements in a 20 years old fort. What with everyone having friends that'd miss them if they had a gruesome horrible death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on December 19, 2011, 08:02:51 am
next time collapse the ceiling on the FB if it has deadly dust or something similarly hateful
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ieb on December 19, 2011, 08:46:43 am
I considered it, but it was moving every while and so at random patterns.
And the fort has to end one day. Chances are it'll be a deadly dust creature. Probably one that can fly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadenight123 on December 19, 2011, 12:55:08 pm
"oh, i'll close the bridge so the siege can't come in".
"wait a second, why aren't they closing the bridges?!"
"MOVE IT! WHAT ARE YOU...drop point inaccessible?"
"oh no! burrows do not cover the lever for the bridge!".
...
*FACE PALM*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ashsaber on December 19, 2011, 03:03:05 pm
Actually having a dorf get hit with a bolt to the knee. Although it's not nearly as bad as a spear to the foot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necro910 on December 19, 2011, 03:18:16 pm
Quote from: Ashsaber on December 19, 2011, 03:03:05 pm
Actually having a dorf get hit with a bolt to the knee. Although it's not nearly as bad as a spear to the foot.
Recruit him into the guard  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on December 19, 2011, 06:16:42 pm
Bonus points if he complains to a visiting adventurer...oh how close I've come to having epic fails when my trap room doesn't do its job or I'm trying to use the goblin-hurling-epic-defensive-bridge-of-doom (TM) and the dorfs are too busy staring at a statue of a legendary military dwarf beheading a groundhog to bother pulling the levers until I have 20 elite goblin spearmen in my fort's demense.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on December 19, 2011, 08:49:37 pm
I forgot to ceiling off a small section of the fortress and an FB got in and killed two dwarves. It had 18 to pick from and it got my only mechanic and only weaponsmith. >:(

If you set the popcap to something lower than 200 so that it actually gets enforced, you still should get messages about the fortress attracting no migrants, right? I haven't had any on this fortress. It occurs to me that if you discount the initial waves you get upon starting a new site, I haven't had any migrants since May. It's getting a little weird.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: roughedge on December 19, 2011, 10:27:05 pm
I designated a wide section of floor to be channeled. Of course that means 3 miners simultaneously breaching the cave into a troglodyte pit, one dwarf breaking many bones and later to add fun more guests:voracious crawler, mole dogs, a giant rat and crundles..... some bats, a troll and well that doens't matter since this fort was an axe factory...

Axe are like a penis to a dwarf!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CzarSquid on December 19, 2011, 11:20:29 pm
"Urist, what are you doing?"
"Building a floodgate so we can use the brook for the well"
"Where did you stick the lever for it?"
"In a corner in the same room as the well"
"Alright, its done! Let the water flow!"
"Hmm, I don't think the water is supposed to erupt out of the well"
"QUICK, THE LEVER! THE LEVER!"
"WE CAN'T REACH IT! THE WATER IS PUSHING US AWAY!"
"Who designed this fort? The whole structure is going to flood!"

...and that's how my first game ended.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ludsoe on December 20, 2011, 02:20:13 am
Quote from: CzarSquid on December 19, 2011, 11:20:29 pm
"Urist, what are you doing?"
"Building a floodgate so we can use the brook for the well"
"Where did you stick the lever for it?"
"In a corner in the same room as the well"
"Alright, its done! Let the water flow!"
"Hmm, I don't think the water is supposed to erupt out of the well"
"QUICK, THE LEVER! THE LEVER!"
"WE CAN'T REACH IT! THE WATER IS PUSHING US AWAY!"
"Who designed this fort? The whole structure is going to flood!"

...and that's how my first game ended.

I know how you feel.... But i had the lever in a small room surrounded by the network of water-pipes going to wells all over my fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on December 20, 2011, 02:59:13 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on December 19, 2011, 08:49:37 pm
I haven't had any migrants since May. It's getting a little weird.
Yay! Migrants! I got a High Master Mechanic and a couple of moderately-skilled weaponsmiths. A pity none of this lot like steel like my old smith did, stupid founder-chomping FB...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: flamoot on December 20, 2011, 03:12:35 pm
Quote from: Felius on April 20, 2009, 09:10:01 pm
I have been building a out of the mountain wall to encircle the entrance and work for the outside needs of my dwarves. Ok, after I had built the entire wall, the second store floors, a barracks over the main gate, etc. I finally discover that, well, you can built constructions more than one tile at a time. Yes, after building a few hundred tiles with painstakingly micromanagement, I discover that I could have done that with a tenth of the work...

I still forget you can make roads in strips and do this myself, usually resulting in speccing building materials I wouldn't have chosen in my rush to get the thing laid down in 1x1 plots. I did the same thing with farms in my first fort and had to configure every square of my farm separately!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on December 20, 2011, 03:34:05 pm
Quote from: CzarSquid on December 19, 2011, 11:20:29 pm
"Urist, what are you doing?"
"Building a floodgate so we can use the brook for the well"
"Where did you stick the lever for it?"
"In a corner in the same room as the well"
"Alright, its done! Let the water flow!"
"Hmm, I don't think the water is supposed to erupt out of the well"
"QUICK, THE LEVER! THE LEVER!"
"WE CAN'T REACH IT! THE WATER IS PUSHING US AWAY!"
"Who designed this fort? The whole structure is going to flood!"

...and that's how my first game ended.

pretty much my second fort
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: flamoot on December 20, 2011, 04:53:59 pm
Three or four games in a row without getting my squads to spar, wondering what was wrong, before realizing I figured out my first game, then later forgot, that you have to highlight each squad in the barracks you want to assign them to train in and hit 'T'
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wastedlabor on December 20, 2011, 04:56:26 pm
Ghost picks up a raw turtle and idles inside a wall. He's put to rest, and now I have a wall "decorated" with raw turtle. :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: armeggedonCounselor on December 20, 2011, 10:29:04 pm
A very meta moment: I was thinking about how the raws are used by DF.eve. It suddenly dawned on me: infile.

Its a C++ thing.

More on topic, I imagine I'm going to have some fun moments like this when my current megaproject is done.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: terkiey on December 21, 2011, 05:26:09 pm
I had a ramp that led over my fort walls and giving an entire goblin ambush free use of my 20 untrained and unequipped dwarves.

P.S: The rest died from a major aquifier fail. That is why I only had 20.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Togre on December 21, 2011, 09:46:43 pm
I was in a store today and saw a little decorative thing labelled a "mist fountain."  I thought, "Why would anyone buy that?  Oh! To make their dwarfs happy!  Oh, wait.  This is real life.  :-\ "
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sroge on December 22, 2011, 08:57:10 pm
Just started playing, had my first fort going, with a small farm, livestock, various workshops, etc. when one of my miners strikes a cavern. I quickly send the miner back up and a mason down to block it off. As soon as it's finished being blocked off, I get a message saying that my expedition leader has been attacked by a giant cave spider. I freak out, and notice that half my dorfs had wandered into the caves before the mason could build walls. Eventually, they're all webbed/killed, and I abandon the fort :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tahlin on December 23, 2011, 04:52:31 am
When I died of starvation, Because I was afraid of the forgotten beast in my cavern(Where I farm). Somehow though, It had been dead for years.(I blame the amphibians)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PijanySmok on December 23, 2011, 02:42:40 pm
I facepalm everytime ice kills my dwarves/fortress... And always happen to me

Most epic facepalm I ever had...

I was having fun with my fortress watching how my dwarves are finishing walls... Was so happy they finally did it, after 8 dwarves have been killed by ice... Ok so they're building last walls... Oh hello Hydra... WHAT FUCK LOLO0OL BUT I HAVE ONLY 2 NOOB SOLDIERS LOLLLOOLOLOL. So I set my 2person squad to stay in the only entrance to my fortress, that haven't been finished yet. I noticed one of idiotic dwarves was not in fortress yet (burrow). Hydra has blocked the entrance, was about to enter, but WHAT this idiotic dwarf is coming! Hydra switched aggro on dwarf and was about to pewpew him. The dwarf ran by loads of traps, but the hydra wasnt trapped. Finally, hydra has pewpew'd my dwarf behind tree. I was "OMG CLOSE THESE WALLS NAO!11!". Idiotic masons (about 20 I had) didn't even think of getting close to construction site. Hydra was a few steps from them, and I had only 2 soldiers, I was "ok thxbye thanks for such good and idiotic fortress". It has biten my soldier, then stepped on a trap. I was "LOLOL RNG THANK YOU FUCKING THANK YOU". 20 seconds later: "A vile force of darkness has arrived" *ragequit*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MonkeyHead on December 23, 2011, 05:30:25 pm
Quote from: PijanySmok on December 23, 2011, 02:42:40 pm
Some stuff...

?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PijanySmok on December 23, 2011, 05:40:45 pm
Quote from: MonkeyHead on December 23, 2011, 05:30:25 pm
Quote from: PijanySmok on December 23, 2011, 02:42:40 pm
Some stuff...

?

+1 facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MonkeyHead on December 23, 2011, 05:43:00 pm
No offence, but on this forum most of us tend to aim for quite a high standard of literacy, and most of us work to avoid many of the "crazy internet" typing conventions you have included.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zubb2 on December 23, 2011, 10:43:06 pm
Dorf fortress is home of not only dorfs but grammer nazis and necro.Hehehe hu ha and whatnot.

They go like this,HAIL GRAMMER!

A facething moment I had was that whole built a retracting bridge instead of closeing drawbridge thing and well it did not function as a door.

When I first started playing a month or 2 ago I lost most of my dorfs <over multiple forts> to being crushed by drawbridges while IMPATIENTLY waiting RIGHT AT THE FRICKING DOOR for me to open it.

EDIT:head of a new page :) smilyface
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eoganachta on December 23, 2011, 11:04:26 pm
Perhaps I should have not included my magma evaporating chamber as part of my PANIC burrow.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Theifofdreams on December 24, 2011, 04:55:47 am
First FB of the fort, and my mostly inexperienced military.
Not that experience mattered... Now that the gate is closed, the smoldering goop is firmly locked outside, and the FB is merrily menacing the more mundane mobs; it is time to train up a new, mostly crossbow oriented, squad or 4, churn out hundreds of bronze bolts, and hopefully manage to set up a suitable vantage point...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ashsaber on December 24, 2011, 03:30:22 pm
When two crossbowdwarves patrolling the walls and taking potshots at the Ferric Elves (Fort Defense mod) was enough to break a siege. 2 vs 40, 3 enemy casualties.

They need to be less sober.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Orky_Boss on December 25, 2011, 07:37:10 pm
I decided to try my hand at surviving a terrifying biome, and knowing the perils I would face, I made 1 dwarf a skilled swordsman. I went to items and saw a copper battle axe. I thought "He's a swordsdwarf, not an axedwarf!", and proceeded to replace it with a bronze sword.

So I find a great crevice that will funnel any invaders into a confined space in their attempt to get to me, and started digging though the stone, and set a bunch of trees to be cut.

Later, I'm digging to clay so I can start my farm, and I see that the trees aren't being chopped down. I realize that I had taken away the axe that would've been used by the woodsdwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kasan on December 25, 2011, 08:10:16 pm
So in one of my 10 active games, I hit a adamantine vein that was 31 z levels in depth. Suffice to say I've not wanted for valuable metal.  I was in the process of making some instruments (20-35k each) for trade when I noticed I had run out of wafers. I'd been smelting them for a while and couldn't figure out what was going on.  I happened to be looking at my hospital trying to figure out how a soldier had managed to get his foot stabbed thought his armor when I saw the color of the sutures he was about to receive.  I panicked for a moment and checked the health screen.   Sure enough, all my missing adamantine strands had been put into the hospital for use.

This lucky soldier became the MVD of my fortress.
http://i.imgur.com/WKwDe.jpg (http://i.imgur.com/WKwDe.jpg)

edit: dear god the quality of that picture is horrible
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ria Hawk on December 25, 2011, 11:36:39 pm
Quote from: ZeroSumHappiness on November 11, 2011, 11:13:06 pm
Designate a wall to be built where you don't want your dwarves standing around.  Suspend the wall before anyone tries to go build it.  Remove the build order when you don't need it.  Dwarves prefer to stand in clear space over space designated to be walled.

WAT.

WHAT IS THIS.

AUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!

I could have not lost about eight dorfs to walling accidents...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: krenshala on December 26, 2011, 02:53:19 pm
Quote from: kasan on December 25, 2011, 08:10:16 pm
So in one of my 10 active games, I hit a adamantine vein that was 31 z levels in depth. Suffice to say I've not wanted for valuable metal.  I was in the process of making some instruments (20-35k each) for trade when I noticed I had run out of wafers. I'd been smelting them for a while and couldn't figure out what was going on.  I happened to be looking at my hospital trying to figure out how a soldier had managed to get his foot stabbed thought his armor when I saw the color of the sutures he was about to receive.  I panicked for a moment and checked the health screen.   Sure enough, all my missing adamantine strands had been put into the hospital for use.

This lucky soldier became the MVD of my fortress.
http://i.imgur.com/WKwDe.jpg (http://i.imgur.com/WKwDe.jpg)

edit: dear god the quality of that picture is horrible
That is called JPEG compression.  JPEG is a lossy format meant for photographs, not computer graphics. ;)  In photos the image quality lost isn't really noticed due to all the rest of the noise from it being a picture of meat-space.  When used for computer graphics, however, noise is added where it normally otherwise isn't, and it can really stand out. ... especially at high compression levels.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: backora900 on December 26, 2011, 05:31:44 pm
The moment when Urist McGrumpy decided to visit my fortress. I noticed him when he was quite unhappy and I wanted to cheer him up (sadly it was too late - happiness about 20). But then I found out...
First he went to my meeting place and complained about lack of chairs (well I admit 2 chairs for 30 dwarfs isn't much :D).
Then he made grudge wit about 20 other dwarfs (still don't know why - perhaps they were stealing his chair).
After that he went on a bridge which was hanged across a volcano.
Next brilliant move was to "throw a tantrum" and destroy this bridge he was standing on. :o

This wasn't like tantrum described on magmawiki.
http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/DF2010:Tantrum (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/DF2010:Tantrum)
In fact mood in my fortress went from happy to ecstatic (one dwarf went to happiness about 1600 - from dwarf therapist).

Now I have to chose whether to make him a slab or wait for his ghost (this could be even more fun :D).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on December 26, 2011, 07:21:34 pm
Quote from: backora900 on December 26, 2011, 05:31:44 pm
The moment when Urist McGrumpy decided to visit my fortress. I noticed him when he was quite unhappy and I wanted to cheer him up (sadly it was too late - happiness about 20). But then I found out...
First he went to my meeting place and complained about lack of chairs (well I admit 2 chairs for 30 dwarfs isn't much :D).
Then he made grudge wit about 20 other dwarfs (still don't know why - perhaps they were stealing his chair).
After that he went on a bridge which was hanged across a volcano.
Next brilliant move was to "throw a tantrum" and destroy this bridge he was standing on. :o

This wasn't like tantrum described on magmawiki.
http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/DF2010:Tantrum (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/DF2010:Tantrum)
In fact mood in my fortress went from happy to ecstatic (one dwarf went to happiness about 1600 - from dwarf therapist).

Now I have to chose whether to make him a slab or wait for his ghost (this could be even more fun :D).

That, ser, seems like an anti-facepalm to me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Madventurer on December 28, 2011, 11:42:19 am
Quote from: backora900 on December 26, 2011, 05:31:44 pm
Then he made grudge wit about 20 other dwarfs (still don't know why - perhaps they were stealing his chair).

Sigged.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GreatWyrmGold on December 28, 2011, 03:42:40 pm
Quote from: backora900 on December 26, 2011, 05:31:44 pm
The moment when Urist McGrumpy decided to visit my fortress. I noticed him when he was quite unhappy and I wanted to cheer him up (sadly it was too late - happiness about 20). But then I found out...
First he went to my meeting place and complained about lack of chairs (well I admit 2 chairs for 30 dwarfs isn't much :D).
Then he made grudge wit about 20 other dwarfs (still don't know why - perhaps they were stealing his chair).
After that he went on a bridge which was hanged across a volcano.
Next brilliant move was to "throw a tantrum" and destroy this bridge he was standing on. :o

This wasn't like tantrum described on magmawiki.
http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/DF2010:Tantrum (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/DF2010:Tantrum)
In fact mood in my fortress went from happy to ecstatic (one dwarf went to happiness about 1600 - from dwarf therapist).

Now I have to chose whether to make him a slab or wait for his ghost (this could be even more fun :D).
Wait for the ghost, and let him haunt the moat as a reminder to your dwarves of the dangers of stupidity.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Theifofdreams on December 28, 2011, 06:03:09 pm
Quote from: GreatWyrmGold on December 28, 2011, 03:42:40 pm
Wait for the ghost, and let him haunt the moat as a reminder to your dwarves of the dangers of stupidity.
That's just asking for Urist McGhost to go rip Urist McUnlucky's arm off and try to force it down his throat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: orius on December 29, 2011, 02:09:25 am
My hunter was hunting a deer when the deer charged him.  The dumbass dodges the deer by jumping off a cliff into the river.  He can't swim, and the whole river runs through a ravine with cliff edges.  Needless to say, Urist McRedneck drowned on me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jimmy T. Malice on December 30, 2011, 04:22:05 pm
I flooded three forts before I managed to properly irrigate a farm plot.

I walled off dangerous caverns only for cave beasts to sneak through a diagonal gap.
O<
<O

Not to mention walling in a dwarf when trying to seal off an external tunnel. Although that may be the dwarf's own fault...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on December 30, 2011, 04:52:12 pm
Quote from: Jimmy T. Malice on December 30, 2011, 04:22:05 pm
Not to mention walling in a dwarf when trying to seal off an external tunnel. Although that may be the dwarf's own fault...

Dwarves wall, and dig, and do most things from the east first.  I think then they go clockwise around the wall on the rectangular directions, then on the diagonal directions(though walls and floors require a rectangular direction to go from).  So yes, it is your dwarf's fault.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MountainGnome on December 31, 2011, 05:36:44 am
"Are those goblins raining from the sky?  Why are they 3 levels above ground.  And why are they flashing like that?"

5min later.

"Oh crap oh crap oh crap!"

My first time getting to sieges.  My no marksdwarf military did not last long considering I only had an open wall protecting the entrance to my entire fort. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MagmaSolutionsInc on January 01, 2012, 05:09:46 am
Brand new fort. I've been lucky enough to get some interesting caverns with this one, including a "Deep Pit". I'd already dug down to one part of the cavern at z -13, where there was a handy lake.

Across the other side of the lake, near the deep pit, the Forgotten Beast Anot appeared. A gigantic theropod with external ribs, it had two long curly tails and it undulated rhythmically. Its dark violet feathers were fluffed-out. We had to beware its hunger for warm blood.

I promptly dug down to it from ground level, since my militia had already seen off Aco Gasinsporro Corud Atup (Roc), Nonu Osmuzan Otar Mosmio (Giant), and Yonall Inevisethe Leriamu (Jungle Titan). Yonall was the first, and the worst  to date - went through an entire squad at first. Given how toughened they were by the experience, there was no sense in putting it off.

Disappointingly, Anot didn't last more than a single hit. Even Giant Cave Spiders have presented more of a challenge. And Forgotten Beast Biscuits taste funny.

So now to investigate the Deep Pit, since I was now on the "right side" of the lake. I dispatched my miners to dig stairs straight down the edge of the pit, into another cavern at z -31.

And promptly, Ak Sodoroson, Forgotten Beast, appeared. A towering scaly earthworm, it had thin wings of stretched skin and was slavering. Its flax scales were round and overlapping. We had to beware its webs. In any case, Ak wasted no time in climbing the newly carved stair case. An unsuspecting farmer, Ast Babinzuglar, was busily collecting webs right next to the pit. Ak Sodoroson, Forgotten Beast, drew itself up to its full height, roared menacingly with spikes of adamantine, rushed at the farmer ...

... who jumped away, just at the right time for Ak Sodoroson to plummet from level z -13 to -31. He's now being made into Forgotten Beast soap, or something equally useful.

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kembial on January 01, 2012, 06:56:14 am
Worlds modded for simplicity, so I'm not sure if this is a STANDARD facepalm, or not.
I assume it somehow relates to my removal of non-exotic tamings.

I had just been stabilizing on the learning curve to the point where I was facing sieges fairly prepared. Passable military set up, trade/food/booze on overdrive, etc. Basically, no fails without invasions or drunken mistakes.

First siege was handled by the incoming caravan, before the military even had a chance to get a look at the invaders. No biggie, back to training.
Second siege was met face-to-face. Since my butchering was overloaded due to adequate learning, I wasn't sending the troops out to take down emergency rations, losing out on some experience. I lost a few dwarfs, here. Not a huge problem. I'm swimming in migrants for replacements.

This siege came with mounts, however, and about 5 jabberers fell to the cage traps. My trainer informed me jabberers can be TAMED. What he failed to tell me is that these tamed jabberers were still more than happy to slaughter everything in the high traffic stockpile/food production z-level instead of quietly being led out to chains at the entrance!

Facepalm #1

I learned that things caught in cages can still pwn my military with half a thought. And that it takes about 50 drafted peasants to punch threats to death.

By now, I've made the MAJOR MISTAKE that usually leads me to abandon and take a step up the learning curve. But I decided to let the fortress end in as much FUN as I could manage. I decided to apply magma.

Facepalm #2: When you a.) have completely mined multiple layers just to keep the miners busy, and b.) tap the magma pipe at every easily accessible layer... you have to wait YEARS for those boring, empty bottom layers to fill up before there's a serious threat. The only mentionable magma damage was to the prepared meals stockpile before the pipe level dropped and stopped flooding the fun z-levels.

Luckily, a third siege arrived and I let them in for a mercy killing.
By the way, children are awesome at hide-and-seek, delaying fortress collapses until they are completely pinned.

In the end, I'm not sure if my mistake was related to taming an INVADER, or something I can mod out for the future. I'll be pitting all siege captives until I find out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: King DZA on January 01, 2012, 03:14:13 pm
Recently realized that Microcline has a second 'C' in it...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Roboboy33 on January 01, 2012, 03:59:56 pm
I had an FB show up, and I thought, theres no way he can get in. Yet, I didnt know he could Swim, So while im off desinating stuff, hes rampaging in my fort. I notice, I see hes running outside, so I pull the bridge lever, trapping him outside along with some other grazers. So, Now I know FB's can swim. My war tiger lost its tail. I liked that tiger.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eidolon on January 01, 2012, 07:24:51 pm
I just dropped my miner down a volcano.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: starshard0 on January 01, 2012, 08:30:58 pm
Quote from: King DZA on January 01, 2012, 03:14:13 pm
Recently realized that Microcline has a second 'C' in it...
Woah, I've been calling it Microline since forever!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: King DZA on January 01, 2012, 09:58:33 pm
Awesome, I'm not the only one, then! :D

Unfortunately, I have little idea how I'm supposed to pronounce it now....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BrandonKun on January 02, 2012, 12:48:06 am
Stupidly killed my Grower by removing a floor from a bridge underneath him.

Poor guy, fell 6 Z-Levels down a waterfall and fell into a brook, then was crushed by some remaining parts of the collapsed bridge.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 612DwarfAvenue on January 02, 2012, 12:53:07 am
Quote from: King DZA on January 01, 2012, 09:58:33 pm
Awesome, I'm not the only one, then! :D

Unfortunately, I have little idea how I'm supposed to pronounce it now....

My-crow-cline.

And i've always known it has the second C :P.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BrandonKun on January 02, 2012, 01:24:52 am
Quote from: King DZA on January 01, 2012, 03:14:13 pm
Recently realized that Microcline has a second 'C' in it...
Haha, I had the same problem, I used to always say Microline.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MagmaSolutionsInc on January 02, 2012, 01:26:40 am
Same fort ... lolwhut

(http://www.autechheads.com/ghostbaby.png)

This was after a tantrum spiral caused by the only brewer in the fort deciding to jump into the same deep pit as the forgotten beast. And I forgot to appoint a new brewer ...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MagmaSolutionsInc on January 02, 2012, 01:30:27 am
Damn, it doesn't show it.  The Dwarven Baby was also a ghost, but died of thirst.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SirAaronIII on January 02, 2012, 02:44:30 am
What's next, ortholase? :P
From another thread:
Quote from: SirAaronIII on January 01, 2012, 11:23:24 pm
An ambush squad of goblin bowmen appeared. The military ran out with the militia commander in front. Then he got hit by some arrows and decided to retreat back into the fortress. He gave in to pain RIGHT on top of the weapon trap with 10 picks in it. As you might know, picks are extremely effective at removing limbs. Almost immediately, he lost all his arms and legs. He woke up, crawled out of the trap, and then crawled back in and got hit again. He kept doing this until he bled to death, after taking a LOT of hits to the upper body, destroying almost all his organs.
Not only was this the first time one of my own guys tripped one of my own traps, he was wearing full armor and got hit by a copper arrow in the finger or something similarly stupid.

Which reminds me, I don't think gauntlets cover the fingers... do they?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxler on January 03, 2012, 03:02:01 am
well i dug out a z level...


Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McKiwi on January 03, 2012, 04:37:50 am
I set up my training fortress very carefully INDEED. An island with a nice tropical forest, no nasty goblins or elves or evil places of evil or elves.....
Looking around after embark, the badgers went away after 10-15 of them showed up 2 minutes after embarking, there's gypsum, bauxite, flux, and a nice looking cluster of rubies on the floor of the sea I'm trying to work out a way to reach, preferably in a way that teaches me how to use lava (keeping in mind I have a *wooden* perimeter wall in the middle of a *highly flammable* forest)...

Going well then?

Sadly, the stupid dorfs decided to beach their highly advanced (and very dwarvenly) amphibious Boatwagon on a small and narrow beach. On the rocks. In the surf zone. Right next to a very steep drop into deep ocean. Cue the entire wagon getting flooded every few seconds. Cue an elaborate 'Operation "Store Item in Stockpile"' using the small percentage of successful attempts to recover supplies to slowly empty the wreck of HMS Wagon. And then the badgers came.......and while my dwarves all escaped their notice, it was obvious then...this wasn't some mere "accident", or "dwarven stupidity". This was an AMBUSH!


They've been plotting for years. YEARS! They must have lured THOUSANDS of dwarves to their deaths on this island. A perfect place for an outpost. Warm, mineral-rich, with everything that's needed for life.....and a perfect place to lie in wait for the next lot of migrants. But by the same measure....this perfect trap is an island. Therefore there must be a finite number of badgers around to carry out this dastardly plan. They will die. All of them.

But yeah. Epic facepalm when I noticed the dwarves beached the Boatmobile in the breakers and just left it there. And then those badgers turning up RIGHT when I was having them ALL busy wading through the surf outside the fort walls.....it was potentially a very Fun embark indeed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on January 03, 2012, 10:03:16 am
i forgot i embarked at a volcaneo and i dug too deep into the mountain :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MystRunner on January 03, 2012, 11:44:02 pm
I was once so busy in setting up my fortress and managing wave after wave of migrants that I forgot to set up defense or military. Many fun times where had when the gobbo force showed up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MagmaSolutionsInc on January 04, 2012, 08:31:37 am
Ah, this fort is the gift that just keeps giving. Relicbowels is by far my favourite yet.

I finally found magma way, way, way down, and inadvertently unleashed HFS. I'll admit that I wasn't prepared for it, so I did a quick DFHack to fill in the tube. I'll get back to them later on.

Then I inadvertently flooded my graveyard and had to frantically build a wall to stop the fort being submerged.

So many forgotten beasts have come along now that I fear my militia commander - now mayor in lieu of the deceased baron (even though the land is now a duchy) - is damn near invulnerable.


I've decided to go with the flow. I have temporarily turned off invasions, built a 16 z-level tower (1 stair + 1 wall per level, with a massive upper level for kicks  .. looks hilarious in overseer) with diving board that opens out to a 15 z-level pit (from ground level). Pitting troll and goblin prisoners has never been so fun. I also designed an artificial island style defence to allow me to segment the various parts. Once I've finished my new tower completely (the meeting room and barracks levels still to be added), I'll re-enable invasions and laugh at the vile forces as they come out on the wrong side of my artificial rivers. Now I just need to start a megaproject to kill them  :D

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadowzfire on January 04, 2012, 10:17:52 am
So I just came back to Dwarf Fort after not playing for a bit over 6 months, needless to say I had forgotten a many things and I wanted to relearn them the old fashioned way - Doing em. So I set up base in a small valley with a few hills. I slowly remember how to make farms, refuse stockpiles, essential needs of a starting fort. Eventually I expanded and started setting up my military the moment migrants came. Soon after, I breached a underground caverns and then adamantine. Out of greed I dug further and found a lava lake below. I also accidently designated the adamantine for digging more than twice, almost digging it out afraid of what would come. Eventually even without a decent military I dug out some of the adamantine and found it safe.

Some days later by purposeful designation, with a slightly better military force I dug through and found a hole - shoot, whatever you call it to the underworld and all hell broke loose. I struggled to block it but I regret playing with 150 fps as they broke through far too fast. I facepalmed.

 How the hell does a wraith of soot - SOOT EXIST? Some other things made out of smoke and salt also came and ravaged my people. My Military of course were the ones to die first. I facepalmed and watched after what happened to the rest of my dwarves. Oh the horror.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on January 04, 2012, 07:39:16 pm
Quote from: MystRunner on January 03, 2012, 11:44:02 pm
I was once so busy in setting up my fortress and managing wave after wave of migrants that I forgot to set up defense or military. Many fun times where had when the gobbo force showed up.

That happens to me a lot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CaptainBadwheel on January 04, 2012, 09:48:41 pm
I have a history of over engineering my water systems so much that its almost the top cause of fatalities. Just recently I just lost an engraver while running water from the fortress cistern to the hospital wells. He drowned while carving a fortification at the bottom of the 2zlvl cistern because he didn't move when the high pressure water washed over him, blocking the floodgate I put in just for the purpose of saving him from drowning. Fortunately I also installed a fortified drain to the 1st cavern level so I could at least retrieve the body.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: uglyboy on January 05, 2012, 08:34:05 am
Built the entrance to the fortress on top of a hill, with the possibility to isolate it and build a drawbridge to the other hilltop very close to this one, the best natural defensive setup i've ever had, my explorative mining team revealed the presence of limonite, native silver, native platinum, marble, and some other goodies i'll need for my dwarf economy and military power. With the first migrant came a natural born fighter, he is very strong, agile, very slow to tire, likes steel, and most of all, he's a expert swordsdwarf/armor user/dodger/fighter/shield user, i was so happy about him, i had my talented weaponsmith make him a full steel set, sword, shield and heavy armor... Few seconds after he picked up the last piece of equipment "Urist McSlaughterer has been possessed".... Now he's there in his little workshop asking for stone and bones and it seems i don't have the ones he wants. So here i am, good initial fortress setup is now waiting for this fully able, willing, armored time bomb to explode go mad and kill everybody... Stay tuned...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dragginmaster on January 05, 2012, 11:56:47 am
playing DF in the passenger seat of a big rig rollin down Interstate 40 in Arkansas...

Find a volcano on the embark, was looking for a major river but they are not common on this world... So I think, volcano...

in a terrifying area... I have never done a terrifying biome but I have read on here they are not that terrifying yet...

play now! or plan carefully? ... i always plan carefully... moving fingers to the down arrow... pot hole...

play now! it is...


Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Awessum Possum on January 05, 2012, 12:39:17 pm
So, I was playing a succession fort with friends and family. I got the second year, things were going well and the fortress prospered under my rule. Then the gobbos ambushed all archers and crossbows except for one lasher. Well we had a semi competent squad of dwarves including two marksdwarfs so I send them out, however it is to lat for Urist McFisherdwarf who was only a few tiles from the Gobbos. So the military arrives but suddenly "An Ambush! Curse Them! :o. This was bad news, a second ambush appears not far from the first, some of my dwarves engage the Goblins but a few more hang back and the marksdwafs do nothing (turns out I forgot to assign ammunition), the first recruits get slaughtered. Then the rest of my military finally engages instead of spectating, and the lasher wipes them out. I lost something like 20 dwarfs before I got everyone inside and closed the bridge. :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxler on January 05, 2012, 04:26:48 pm
Quote from: Awessum Possum on January 05, 2012, 12:39:17 pm
So, I was playing a succession fort with friends and family. I got the second year, things were going well and the fortress prospered under my rule. Then the gobbos ambushed all archers and crossbows except for one lasher. Well we had a semi competent squad of dwarves including two marksdwarfs so I send them out, however it is to lat for Urist McFisherdwarf who was only a few tiles from the Gobbos. So the military arrives but suddenly "An Ambush! Curse Them! :o. This was bad news, a second ambush appears not far from the first, some of my dwarves engage the Goblins but a few more hang back and the marksdwafs do nothing (turns out I forgot to assign ammunition), the first recruits get slaughtered. Then the rest of my military finally engages instead of spectating, and the lasher wipes them out. I lost something like 20 dwarfs before I got everyone inside and closed the bridge. :'(

If they are wearing anything less than iron then the militia is basically a "supar dorfz ultamet suicide mckillz derp squwad" (I fudged the spelling on purpose) and should be used for operations like:

slowing down the circus, slowing down the fun-gotten beasts, slowing down gobbos, slowing down humans, slowing down elf’s, slowing down kobolds, slowing down titans, slowing down minotaur, slowing down giants, slowing down etins, slowing down badgers, slowing down dragons (not for long, just long enough to wall up the place), slowing down cave dragons, slowing down the undead, slowing down roc, slowing down Cyclops, slowing down crundles, slowing down ogres, slowing down cave things, slowing down your med. dwarves
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shininglight on January 05, 2012, 06:19:11 pm
I started a small fortress, jungle embark, peaceful elephants, no badgers coal, iron ,and flux.... Get the main entraance dug out, then the stockpile and farms. Have my wall designated to be built then, Zombie giant badger...and another... and another, then "An ambush, Curse them"..... twenty dead dwarves, 10 marksgoblins, and at least a dozen giant zombie badgers later, i have only one dwarf, my militia commander, and five dogs left. Then the militia commander passes out as he walks over a river and drowns.... I was dissapointed.

One other time, my fortress had at least 120 people, 12 soldiers, formally 30 but most had been killed in the last siege, including my legendary speardwarf with 41 kills. "A vile force of darkness has arrived." Okay, i lock down the fortress, send out a few of my  remaining soldiers to slow the goblins. Uknown to me , there's an elite marksgobbo walking around. He begins shooting over my walls. My refuse pile is inside my walls but, as my dorfs try to drop off their stuff , i get 120 messages of: Urist Mcgarbageman cancels store item in stockpile: Interrupted by goblin lasher,pikeman,axeman,archer. Cue my entire fortress walking around on the very top of my fortress and getting NOTHING done.... Eventually i gave up getting the dorfs down and opened the gate with one of my military dwarves who was busy training.
Very cathartic.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on January 05, 2012, 06:39:40 pm
i put my "brige up leaver" to close to the enterance so now my fort is flooding with goblins because my dorfs are sissys and can't pull a leaver that is too close to the goblins >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxler on January 05, 2012, 08:44:03 pm
2 words: lava pressure...

2 more words: FACE PALM
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on January 05, 2012, 11:08:24 pm
Quote from: jaxler on January 05, 2012, 08:44:03 pm
2 words: lava pressure...

2 more words: FACE PALM

One of these days I am going to build a fortress with tunnels crisscrossing the map for a lava cannon.  It will have pin-point accuracy.  Like putting a scope on a shotgun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ungulateman on January 06, 2012, 04:32:37 am
Quote from: Rockphed on January 05, 2012, 11:08:24 pm
Quote from: jaxler on January 05, 2012, 08:44:03 pm
2 words: lava pressure...

2 more words: FACE PALM

One of these days I am going to build a fortress with tunnels crisscrossing the map for a lava cannon.  It will have pin-point accuracy.  Like putting a scope on a shotgun.

Build six.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lordraymond on January 06, 2012, 07:31:35 am
Crimsonhold has really become crimson thanks to a single forgotten beast (beware its fire!)

All was well for the Ashen Crux of the Kingdom of Ash. The militia was forming, the first wave of stupid mongrel Beak Wolves was held off by the moat and gate, and weapons and shields were almost (key word ALMOST) ready to be forged.

"The forgotten beast Urast Shurldrast has risen! A giant skinless alligator, it undulates rhythmically. Beware its fire!"

'No problem, i have a wall, right? Oh god, my door! That thing'll break it down!' Thankfully, as this particular fort is abour 50% aboveground, I have several dwarves on mason duty, and they manage to seal up the door before it can arrive.

'I'm safe now, right?'

"Urist McScaredyCat cancelled Store Item in Stockpile: Interrupted by forgotten beast"

Multiply that by a hundred, and that's what flashes through my fort every minute or so. See, I forgot to fill in the walls ABOVE the main one, so dwarves climbing down my stairwell to the magma forges can't actually pass because they have line of sight on it. I have ten dwarves in full iron, why not just kill it?

Magma forges are my only forges. I have no spare anvils. My militia has armor, but no shields or weapons. Shields wouldn't be an issue, but the part with the GIANT BURSTS OF FLAME make going out without one more suicide than pitting a year 2 militia that's been established for a grand total of five weeks (in game) against a FB already is.

I gave them all the equipment I could, drafted my miners, and sent them out and began to remove the wall.

"Urist McRandom cancels Remove Construction: Interrupted by Forgotten Beast!"

Crap. Well, I suppose I may as well just dig a way around. But then, out of abso-freaking-lutely nowhere, the single child in the fort runs up to the wall and takes it out (another reason to hate the little buggers). He's immediately killed by fire, followed by the returning militia, followed by the rest of my fort.

I savescummed, I'll admit. The Fort was just too good to lose. It was the first one in around twenty-five to have iron, first of all, and it also had:

-Copper for shields
-Nickel for crafts
-Plenty of gems
-A legendary bone carver for bolts
-Did I mention the stupidly scarce iron that showed up in abundance here?
-Oh yeah, and a metric beard-ton of native gold for more expensive crafts
-Abundant candy
-The most perfectly-defendable spot for the actual fort
-A booming metal industry
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pokon on January 06, 2012, 11:30:25 am
I will never try to tame the wild crocs outside my fortress ever again, mostly because they are each bloated and fat from 20+ dwarven kills. Guess what happens whan you tame them?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McKiwi on January 06, 2012, 04:45:31 pm
Quote from: Pokon on January 06, 2012, 11:30:25 am
I will never try to tame the wild crocs outside my fortress ever again, mostly because they are each bloated and fat from 20+ dwarven kills. Guess what happens whan you tame them?
They decide they want special food and cuddles from everyone?

My current fort has been one facepalm moment after another.

Hey! An island! I'll embark there and learn fortress management without goblins to worry about!
We're by the sea!....wait, no, we're IN the sea. Can people please try and get stuff out of the wagon before it floo-...oh, nevermind.
ARRRRRRGH BADGER BADGER BADGER GET THE WALLS UP GET THE WALLS UP!
Hey! Rubies!.....oh wait, they're at the bottom of the sea. Nevermind, keep digging. I hope you all like nothing but plump helmet!
Woo! First metal ore!......wait, it's frikken ZINC. Ah well, I'm sure I'll find more metal soon enough. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TemptingFate)
Woo! Second metal ore...it's MORE zinc!
More zinc.....more zinc.....some more rubies I can't mine without flooding the entire fort......zinc.....zinc.....zinc......zinc.

....zinc......zinc....damp stone.....damp stone......damp stone......zinc.......zinc....ARRRRRRRRRRRGH!

And there the fort stands, with no real metals industry because there's nothing but Zinc, ANYWHERE. Unless DF2012 adds support for galvanised items, I am NEVER going to use it all....and even then, I have no iron/steel. Or....well....anything. At this rate I'm going to be mining candy before finding anything other than more frabjuous zinc.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxler on January 06, 2012, 09:38:05 pm
well i sent my recycle bin to the recycle bin...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Theifofdreams on January 07, 2012, 02:58:38 am
Quote from: Urist McKiwi on January 06, 2012, 04:45:31 pm
....zinc......zinc....damp stone.....damp stone......damp stone......zinc.......zinc....ARRRRRRRRRRRGH!
Did you actually check the embark site for what you'll find?
(It probably said "Shallow Metal. Deep Metal.") meaning you'll find one type of metal in the shallow layers, and one type deeper down, and the two shall never mix, nor shall others join. I've had forts with literally nothing but copper, and another with only lead. (good times, that last one.)

On that note, pretty much deciding to load up DF and continue playing is usually a facepalm for me. At some point, something happens, or doesn't happen. And then doom.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kassil on January 07, 2012, 08:11:33 am
D'oh! I channeled out a section of aquifer along a canyon wall to make a Doomfall trap for invaders, and forgot to set it restricted while installing the retaining wall to keep the invaders from just sauntering on in. There went two masons and a miner... Fortunately, my other miner got over the unhappy thoughts involved and is doing just fine. shame the other pick is at the bottom of a 17 z-level drop in a river full of hippos...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bombzero on January 08, 2012, 07:26:30 am
Quote from: Theifofdreams on January 07, 2012, 02:58:38 am

 and another with only lead. (good times, that last one.)


hmm... should have built a large, football shaped room in the sky out of lead... for some reason...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: boltyhead on January 09, 2012, 01:00:11 am
My biggest facepalm moment so far

My dwarves started accidentally killing each other in training so i traded their adamantine weapons for training weapons not long after that a Vile Force of Darkness arrived so i sent my brave dwarves out to battle... just after they started fighting i realised something....... i never changed their weapons back  :'( there were braves dwarves dead everywhere
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MagmaSolutionsInc on January 09, 2012, 04:10:16 am
Quote from: Urist McKiwi on January 06, 2012, 04:45:31 pm
....zinc......zinc....damp stone.....damp stone......damp stone......zinc.......zinc....damp zinc...wait, whut?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BombStrike on January 09, 2012, 04:16:50 am
Today I started a brand new fortress to test a new layout I thinked off. As I was working on the metal industry floor, I noticed the following message:
Quote
Urist Mc4YearOld has suffocated
I started wondering how as no announcement or reports was speaking of him being attacked or hurt.
After searching for a while I discovered several over dwarfs unconscious or hurt, and following a trail of blood from one of them I found what had transpired:
    My cart was not far from a 2z level high cliff I dug to make the entrance to my fortress, as more and more immigrant arrived the default meeting area got cluttered and some people started pushing others, causing some to fall off the cliff... *facepalm*

Needless to say, I changed the meeting area and started working on the hospital sooner than I thinked I'd have to ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stargrasper on January 09, 2012, 03:42:02 pm
Quote from: BombStrike on January 09, 2012, 04:16:50 am
Today I started a brand new fortress to test a new layout I thinked off. As I was working on the metal industry floor, I noticed the following message:
Quote
Urist Mc4YearOld has suffocated
I started wondering how as no announcement or reports was speaking of him being attacked or hurt.
After searching for a while I discovered several over dwarfs unconscious or hurt, and following a trail of blood from one of them I found what had transpired:
    My cart was not far from a 2z level high cliff I dug to make the entrance to my fortress, as more and more immigrant arrived the default meeting area got cluttered and some people started pushing others, causing some to fall off the cliff... *facepalm*

Needless to say, I changed the meeting area and started working on the hospital sooner than I thinked I'd have to ::)

And this is why I always either place meeting areas enclosed in walls and with a ceiling or enclosed in at least 2 z-levels height of walls.  I don't know how, but if I only have 1 z-level tall walls, people will somehow end up on top of them and tend to die because I never notice they're there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: anzelm on January 09, 2012, 04:53:31 pm
I once bought 7 or 8 Dwarven caravans full of large <insert colour> diamonds, decorated them with small cut <insert colour> diamonds, gold and platinum spikes, only to realize that you use small cut gems to make gem windows. Now I have a heap of brilliant gems only movable by dumping, due to the 'no large gem stockpile option' bug.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: fergus on January 09, 2012, 06:53:14 pm
Quote from: anzelm on January 09, 2012, 04:53:31 pm
I once bought 7 or 8 Dwarven caravans full of large <insert colour> diamonds, decorated them with small cut <insert colour> diamonds, gold and platinum spikes, only to realize that you use small cut gems to make gem windows. Now I have a heap of brilliant gems only movable by dumping, due to the 'no large gem stockpile option' bug.
If I remember correctly, setting "large gems" under "finished goods" should work.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McKiwi on January 09, 2012, 07:13:13 pm
I've also had the large-gem thing. Fortunately, I just use my ruby/spinel/whatever encrusted rubies (Tempted to use some more of the freakin' zinc to have menacing spikes of zinc on EVERYTHING) as trade goods.

latest facepalm moment: My only glass-maker got possessed (*PLAF*), and was asking for green glass and rock. Rocks? Easy. Sand?

....WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE HAVE NO BAGS IN THE ENTIRE FORTRESS?!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doomshifter on January 10, 2012, 03:47:00 am
"Okay, you miserable kobolds, the traders have arrived and we need to get some trading done. We really need us an anvil. BROKER! Go and trade with them now!"

"Yes, let me just finish these mechanisms."
"Done?"
"Yes, but let me have a drink first."
"How about now?"
"Okay, but let me go sleep first."
"Awake now?"
"Oh, I oughta conduct that meeting with the liason."

"YOU RANDOM KOBOLD, TRADE"
"Okay!"
"Greetings from the mountaincamps! What do you want?"
"Anvil."
"Anvil? We don't got any."

The traders have departed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kanaak666 on January 10, 2012, 08:21:20 am
Happened just few seconds ago. My carpenter was taken by the mood. I was unable to get some wood for him, because of ambush for few months. Then when I finally gave him some wood he created a wooden crutch macing with spikes of wood and picture of goblin showing felicitate gesture... then he starved to death as he was leaving his workshop >.<

All those masterwork beds for nobles... gone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on January 10, 2012, 12:27:21 pm
Quote from: Wastedlabor on December 20, 2011, 04:56:26 pm
Ghost picks up a raw turtle and idles inside a wall. He's put to rest, and now I have a wall "decorated" with raw turtle. :o
I hope you like miasma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: backora900 on January 10, 2012, 01:07:26 pm
When weak Urist McNoviceCrutchwalker decided to be my chief lever operator (especially to those levers that need to be pulled as quickly as possible). And then he wanted to haul ettin's corpse all the way to my refuse stockpile.

He probably saw his idol agile Urist McLegendary+5Cruthchwalker (part of my army) who was specialized on chasing and attacking humans on horses.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McKiwi on January 10, 2012, 07:07:47 pm
Thanks to some badly timed dig staircase+decide it's in the wrong place+remove staircase+dig another.....the pathfinding in my fortress is *completely* broken between the mining and habitation levels. And the miners are thus trapped down below (including my part-time broker) unable to get out.....even though there ARE stairs....I'm mounting a last ditch "dig your way to freedom" before I lose all 4 of the good miners.

Edit: Woohoo! They're safe! Unless they die on their way to the kitchens. Which would suck.

Edit: hahahahaha. miner #3 died of thirst inside the booze stockpile. Oh the irony. :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: raptorfangamer on January 10, 2012, 07:32:49 pm
I dammed a river and forgot about pressure, my fortress flooded, to fix that, I made a way down the caves, and decided to drain the river from there too, my miner fell down the caves, I made a hole to retrieve him, and a hungry armorer went near hostile antmen to eat, they also killed my miner too, and I was too enraged (honey badger level of rage) to actually send my militia down there.
BAM, abandon.
and when I did I realized how stupid I was for abandoning such a good fort by losing such lives.

GODDAMIT
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxler on January 10, 2012, 08:48:22 pm
well thought that 10+ z lvls would kill goblins... well not if they break each other's fall... well at least now I know that I need to use a lava traps at the bottom of my fall traps.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McKiwi on January 10, 2012, 09:18:39 pm
Quote from: jaxler on January 10, 2012, 08:48:22 pm
well thought that 10+ z lvls would kill goblins... well not if they break each other's fall... well at least now I know that I need to use a lava traps at the bottom of my fall traps.

I'm personally stocking up on huge menacing spikes specifically for that purpose.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxler on January 10, 2012, 09:26:55 pm
Quote from: Urist McKiwi on January 10, 2012, 09:18:39 pm
Quote from: jaxler on January 10, 2012, 08:48:22 pm
well thought that 10+ z lvls would kill goblins... well not if they break each other's fall... well at least now I know that I need to use a lava traps at the bottom of my fall traps.

I'm personally stocking up on huge menacing spikes specifically for that purpose.

well i'm more ashamed of the fact that the explosive limb loss did not come into effect
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BrandonKun on January 11, 2012, 06:59:24 pm
One of my Miners broke his leg during a cave-in. Whoops.

Then after he fully recovered, it happened again, he broke the same leg and his arm...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zaphod728 on January 12, 2012, 11:56:43 pm
Upon starting my 3rd or 4th fortress I unpacked my wagon into stockpiles. I was busy digging out rooms and when I looked outside and all of my food was gone. When I embarked everything was covered in snow, and i didnt see the frozen pond under my food.

Another time I dug a fancy moat with a gatehouse and a drawbridge. I don't like slopes in my moats, and i use one staircase to get my miners out when they are done. A giant snake titan shows up and jumps in my moat and climbs the stairs that I dug on the inside of the moat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on January 13, 2012, 12:28:33 am
Near the start of this fortress I had a miner get injured in an accident.

She recovered fine, seemingly, and even became a dwarf mother.

Now, two and a half years in *Miner has succumbed to infection*.

Queue facepalm.

And the baby just went berserk and broke a dwarf's spine before a war dog tore it apart.  o.0
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: thegoatgod_pan on January 13, 2012, 02:44:38 am
Quote from: Vehudur on January 13, 2012, 12:28:33 am


And the baby just went berserk and broke a dwarf's spine before a war dog tore it apart.  o.0
sad could have been a soldier.


Quote from: Wastedlabor on December 20, 2011, 04:56:26 pm
Ghost picks up a raw turtle and idles inside a wall. He's put to rest, and now I have a wall "decorated" with raw turtle. :o

Reminds me of this little renaissance porcelain masterpiece (http://i44.tinypic.com/eg4zee.jpg)(those aren't skilled copies, those are the real deal)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JackOSpades on January 13, 2012, 07:15:40 am
Hi guys I just had my own face-palm moment this is only my third fortress (first I quit when the instructions in the compleate newb tutorial wouldn't work, turns out LNP changed some key bindings... second due to goblins because thought the drawbridge lever needed to be RIGHT next to the bridge to work ::)  )
anywho after some minor hang-ups I got this fort up and running and its a thing of beauty dispite having NO Iron, copper, or flux stone.... I have Zinc and Lead and if you don't like that there's Lead and Zinc. but after 10+ years of game time I've gone all the way down to the magma sea, just recently found "cotton candy".

now on to the face palm the Umpteanth million Siege rolls up and I think nothing of it. I hit the alarm to get civilians inside and let my patrolling military take care of it as per usual (9 axelords vs 10 goblin squads, defiantly outnumbered Should a brought more goblins.) and I didn't send out the rest of my military no need right? nor did I close the drawbridge...
 You see where this is going don't you. sure enough while their comrades were being slaughtered ONE goblin squad bum rushs the gates I only find out when I get the message that the stray wardog chained at the entrance has been struck down...and find ten or so goblins INSIDE my fortress, past everything but the gates between the trade Depo and my central stairway. I Immediately lock those and tell one of the squads not patrolling to go kick some behind, which they are oh so happy to do. one lone goblin flees for his life through the barracks and past it making it out onto my archery range before being struck down. I since its open to the sky I forbid his corpse as a reminder and as tribute to the farthest any of the green skinned scum has ever made it inside this fort.

I station the squad right past the bridge to intercept any more unwanted guests and go back to the main battle still in progress for what has got to be the saddest moment in dwarf fortress history. as one of my multi-ledgendary axelords is struck down by a goblin master lasher, seems the Idiot hero in his rush to "take Joy in Slaughter" had neglected to pick up the shiny new "cotton candy" helm i'd assigned him and against  all reason had instead grabbed a copper cap due for melting. he was hit in the head by the silver whip  breaking his upper spine, he quickly suffocated.
the sad moment? after the last goblin falls the Commander of my legendary axelords picks the fallen dwarf up without having a single hauling labor, nor recover wounded enabled and despite the fact that the squad was still suppose to be on patrol duty and carries the body on a funeral procession thru my fortress down to its final resting place in tombs.  :'(  Farewell noble dwarf your duty's finally done.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on January 13, 2012, 12:13:30 pm
I just saw the dumbest dwarf I have ever seen.

And he died, naturally.

This mason was going out of his way to idle in the freshly finished aquaduct.  I attempted to extract and lure him out many ways, and even allowed the party in the statue garden to continue in hopes that he'd go attend it.  No luck.

Even when he did manage to get out (due to that dwarven compulsion to build things) he'd run back in before the hole could be sealed.

It was the dumbest and most annoying thing I've ever seen in this game.

By far.

I got sick of him and just let him drown, then.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tryrar on January 13, 2012, 05:10:16 pm
I finished moving the lever to my main bridge into Shakenarch(the one that spans the volcano caldera) from the dining room to my new statue garden, so I decided to test it to make sure it works....right when my bowyer decides to haul some wood from outside and is crossing over it! Good thing he was actually relatively useless...I've been making crossbows out of the plentiful iron I have, and a bonus! He discovered candy on his way down!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SixOfSpades on January 14, 2012, 12:55:27 am
Quote from: tryrar on January 13, 2012, 05:10:16 pm
He discovered candy on his way down!
As another Bay12er recently wrote on the "scouting" abilities of dwarves falling through magma,
Quote
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
                        Oooh, adamantine!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tryrar on January 14, 2012, 01:06:38 am
Quote from: SixOfSpades on January 14, 2012, 12:55:27 am
Quote from: tryrar on January 13, 2012, 05:10:16 pm
He discovered candy on his way down!
As another Bay12er recently wrote on the "scouting" abilities of dwarves falling through magma,
Quote
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
                        Oooh, adamantine!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"


Ohh, this is so sigged!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on January 14, 2012, 10:52:53 am
Quote from: tryrar on January 14, 2012, 01:06:38 am
Quote from: SixOfSpades on January 14, 2012, 12:55:27 am
Quote from: tryrar on January 13, 2012, 05:10:16 pm
He discovered candy on his way down!
As another Bay12er recently wrote on the "scouting" abilities of dwarves falling through magma,
Quote
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
                        Oooh, adamantine!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"


Ohh, this is so sigged!

Quote from: EmeraldWind on April 21, 2011, 11:36:50 pm
Quote from: Garbles on April 21, 2011, 08:30:45 pm
On the plus side, he spotted a adamantine vein before he melted completely.

Urist: Noooooooooo! It buuuuuuuuuuuuuurns! ... Waitasecond! HEY GUYS! THERE'S ADAMANTINE OVER THERE! PRAISE BE THE MINERS! *sizzle*

Honestly, this is one of the single most funny things in DF to imagine.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on January 14, 2012, 11:05:27 am
Adamantine, a metal where the very sight of it can cause brief lapses of invulnerability.

Face Palm - I used them for warhammers. Battle Warhammers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on January 14, 2012, 11:43:11 am
Low density styrofoam-metal for hammers?

Give one to your hammerer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ggamer on January 14, 2012, 01:58:10 pm
I think I just messed up in Genesis. Within five seconds of embarking.

Sea monster was drinking from the river. Sent my baere-bottom skilled axedorf to kill it.

It didn't end well. He died from three hits.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on January 14, 2012, 02:16:14 pm
I accidentally put masterwork steel spears in my danger room.  It went approximately as well as you'd expect it to.

A second one:

"UristMcThirsty has died of thirst."   What?

I had trapped a miner on accident and never freed them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zubb2 on January 15, 2012, 01:33:08 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


That.

Dwarf towers yay!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on January 15, 2012, 04:11:37 pm
Urist McCutter cancels fell tree, interupted by carp
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McKiwi on January 15, 2012, 08:43:43 pm
Latest facepalm: Having an idea for a Stupid Dwarf Trick using gaseous zinc, lava, an aquifer, nobles, menacing spikes and triggered cave-ins.........but having neither a computer on which to build it, or paper to write down exactly how it would work.....so I've lost about half the concept. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on January 15, 2012, 09:58:33 pm
Dug a new channel for water for a new well for the hospital...   Figured "Oh, I can close this off later."

An alligator got in and my mayor just got his arm ripped off.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on January 16, 2012, 03:17:54 am
Quote from: Vehudur on January 15, 2012, 09:58:33 pm
Dug a new channel for water for a new well for the hospital...   Figured "Oh, I can close this off later."

An alligator got in and my mayor just got his arm ripped off.

at least the hospital has water for him now
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mdqp on January 16, 2012, 04:39:16 am
I had just finished preparing my reservoire, and I just needed to pull the lever, lower the floodgate and let the water flow. Of course, as soon as I pull the lever, my expedition leader decides to take a stroll to the the reservoire, and gets stuck by the water. I could have stopped the flow by pulling the lever again, but I said to myself: "let's see what he can accomplish under pressure". I order him to destroy a wall at the end of the reservoire, while I place two doors in the corridor connected to said wall, so that he can escape and water won't come in following him. He fails, but a miner from the other side takes down the wall for him, and he decide to learn swimming fast enough to reach safety to the other side. Then I build another wall (just in case) and feel that, overall, he showed to have the stuborness needed to survive, so I am pretty happy now. So happy, in fact, that I forgot to worry about the WATER pressure, and a little side project I was running to create mud... The floodgate that stayed open to test my leader remained open until it reached an open channel, the water overflowed, and I ruined my fortress. I was so mad that I abandoned it, despite it being still salvageable... Apparently, I am the one that doesn't work well under pressure...  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TomIrony on January 16, 2012, 03:15:06 pm
Nothing big, but my first casualty in this fort was our Animal Caretaker, killed by a Horse.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrCat on January 16, 2012, 07:08:56 pm
So, I embarked into the perfect location. There's iron everywhere, platinum, gold, silver, the works. The only slight problem I had was that it was cold, and the brook would freeze over in the winter. As a side note, my fledgling fortress was located in the bottom of a canyon, between three largish hills. So, thinking about how smart I am, I dig a channel from the brook into the canyon, where it hopefully wouldn't freeze. The only problem was that I neglected to remember to build walls on the z-level changes, and an enormous flood of water promptly begins making its way down the canyon into my fortress. Panicked, I give all my dwarves the masonry job, and frantically build walls around my fortress hole. And, lo and behold, they actually finished it before the water flooded the entire thing. Feeling proud of myself, I secure a pathway into the fortress from the walls, and resume mining/tree cutting/normal operations. And then I notice that the water around my fortress is still rising, because it's coming from an endless pressurized water source. The water overtook the walls, and I hastily secured my entrance before the whole place flooded. A few weeks later and every dwarf has died due to, of all things, a lack of a water source.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bombzero on January 18, 2012, 07:11:54 pm
Quote from: MrCat on January 16, 2012, 07:08:56 pm
So, I embarked into the perfect location. There's iron everywhere, platinum, gold, silver, the works. The only slight problem I had was that it was cold, and the brook would freeze over in the winter. As a side note, my fledgling fortress was located in the bottom of a canyon, between three largish hills. So, thinking about how smart I am, I dig a channel from the brook into the canyon, where it hopefully wouldn't freeze. The only problem was that I neglected to remember to build walls on the z-level changes, and an enormous flood of water promptly begins making its way down the canyon into my fortress. Panicked, I give all my dwarves the masonry job, and frantically build walls around my fortress hole. And, lo and behold, they actually finished it before the water flooded the entire thing. Feeling proud of myself, I secure a pathway into the fortress from the walls, and resume mining/tree cutting/normal operations. And then I notice that the water around my fortress is still rising, because it's coming from an endless pressurized water source. The water overtook the walls, and I hastily secured my entrance before the whole place flooded. A few weeks later and every dwarf has died due to, of all things, a lack of a water source.

fucking. great. why didn't you dig a passage underneath with a diagonal passage that led to a grate protected drinking area?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zacty on January 18, 2012, 08:38:02 pm
recently had a goblin siege come in, i don't have much of a military but i have a massive number of cage traps guarding the entirety of my fort, they brought a squad of trolls in and there were far more than i thought there would be, there were enough for 2 to not get caught by my cage traps and managed to destroy my doors, not too worried though, i have lots more traps inside. except they were totally useless, since half my dwarves ran outside into  he swirling mass of goblins to pick equipment up, lost a 4th of my dwarves before i could get them back inside and rebuild the door.

dwarves are kinda stupid
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxler on January 18, 2012, 09:38:40 pm
forgot to connect a lever to my fall trap...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on January 19, 2012, 05:48:18 am
dragons are hard to weaponize. It's been tamed and follows it's tamer everywhere even if it's chained (metal chain) and pastured. Problem: it follows behind and spots goblins BEFORE it's tamer and it breathes fire. Result, crispy tamer


on another note, a marksdwarf just shot a goblin in the mouth! I expected epic pain, but the goblin pretty much caught it with his teeth and suffered only a minor scratch. Don't Try This At Home!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: thegoatgod_pan on January 19, 2012, 04:37:50 pm
You got a dragon with no civ emnity for dwarves  :o

Last time I tamed a dragon he'd fry his tamer and any other dwarves, but remain "tame" all the same
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Frog on January 19, 2012, 09:08:49 pm
The recent "improvements" I'd made to my drowning trap/entrance hall have apparently made it such that there's no functional distinction between "empty the water into the caverns, allowing my dwarves to safely access the trade depot" and "open the safety hatch which prevents water from entering the fortress proper, causing everything to be soaked in a massive deluge and the entire lower section of my fort to be rendered unusable".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on January 20, 2012, 08:13:41 am
happens quite often to me too. You can try to channel and dig the lower floors to spread the water so it becomes low enough to evaporate. Alternatively, open a fortification to the caverns and claim you always intended to make a shower for your dwarfs, complete with a drain
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on January 20, 2012, 09:42:39 am
my plan to tunnel into the side of a volcano to power magma forges has hit the problem that my miner may not survive.... lets' wait for Urist McCheesemakerImmigrant to show up
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zach123b on January 21, 2012, 12:20:31 am
playing with the masterwork mod i started in a desert with a cave, on 1 of the challenges, no items from embark
trees were scarce but there were none, few plants but i head for the cave for hope.  inside were a pack of trogdalytes 20 spots from the entrance(constant cancellations). i get a working fortress waiting for the caravan with little to worry about and few deaths from animal/human things, i think 3 total. had a titan attack, air man i think, killed 2 guys >>
caravan came, failed getting a pick(2.5k cost somehow) then forgot i should get an anvil but i was drained buying some random oddities with overstock of food so i steal from them, more animal/human guys and my dwarfs were going meloncholy from death and miasma being so far down in a cave... so i charge the trogdalytes with stolen stuff and somehow we won with 2 people alive, 1 meloncholy and 1 woodcutter, hard time salvaging the fortress thinking 'i got this' killing reptile people with 1 i survived mainly from a hellfire turret a immigrant brought and a slade turret i stole but im running low on supplies but the fortress was a wreck.. with 1 sane dwarf, fought off a troll but soon after a seige hit me of undead.  the turrets were winning even though they were half broken... my last dwarf died of thirst cuz the hellfire turret burnt it up
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doomshifter on January 21, 2012, 12:34:29 am
A Forgotten Beast approached my fortress. I thought, "Oh crap!" until I noticed it was made of salt. I thought to myself, "Hey, don't salt-based forgotten beasts fall apart really easily?"

I sent my militia out and was rewarded with all my dead dwarves. Hurrah.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: doublestrafe on January 21, 2012, 05:33:49 am
The noble fortress of Whiteletter was founded in the early spring of 251, when seven brave dwarves crossed the frozen river The Ferocious Moth to find, hidden between two dark and evil forests, a fertile plateau, harsh and untamed but welcoming to those of stout heart. Though the waters never thawed, removing hope of the river serving as a barrier between the dwarves and the unholy fiends that emerged, reeking and dripping flesh, from the dark woods, the dwarves dug deep and built strong. Making clever use of the natural waters of the ground, they made mighty constructions and mechanisms, feeding their wells, designing beautiful waterfalls, and drawing the very lifeblood of Armok from the fiery depths of the earth. Enemies crashed and broke like waves against its walls, or died, swarmed like intruders in a hive. Nothing could break the spirit of Whiteletter.

Then, long about 266, I noticed that weather and temperature had gotten turned off in LNP somehow, and when I turned them back on, my FPS was 17 instead of 40. Without temperature, my magma is useless.

My fortress is doomed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: usgreth on January 22, 2012, 07:30:38 am
Clothes lying about everywhere annoys me, so I decided, when the caravan arrives, I am selling every piece of accessible unowned clothing and if really necesaary unload a few more stone bracelts and figurines for the tourists. Check mayor- he wants 3 steel items, good no problem there. Epic move of goods to the trade depot, much trading is done. Mechants pack up and head off..
Mayor gets his steel items and declares export of cave spider silk items illegal, hmm handy I just traded all that stuff already..wait why are 69 dorfs now charged with export violations :s I guess the prohibition counted since the merchants were still on the map, d'oh!
no more satisfying mandates while merchants are in town!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yoink on January 22, 2012, 09:47:13 am
So, having an abundance of crundles and wanting some kindof creature to guard my fort's younglings, I modded them to be tameable. After beaming happily at seeing my trainer get to work, I take a closer look at the job...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tibbz2 on January 23, 2012, 11:09:55 am
Facepalm moment having to leave DF for a while :(

However I now have my new PC built and ready to play DF again!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: raptorfangamer on January 23, 2012, 12:56:05 pm
seeing various designs but forgetting that I could just see some historical buildings for my fun-over efficiency fortress
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kelenyche on January 23, 2012, 01:57:04 pm
Flooding my first fort in over two years, trying to make wells...  Had to scumsave to fix it. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eric Blank on January 23, 2012, 02:55:47 pm
I panicked when I saw that Toady One ahd made a thread called "Hi, I'm here to Destroy the World." There was no way that could possibly be good for us. Then I read it, and realized it was from spring 2008, and some jackasscomedic genius had necro'd it to screw with us. I facepalmed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rude on January 24, 2012, 12:45:40 pm
There was a soldier in traction for a long time, and he wasn't healing up for some reason (he wasn't hurt bad, it must have been a smashed arm or something.) the doctors totally ignored him and I couldn't figure out why. I'd check on him every month or so and it was the same. checked the z->h menu and it said he had been treated, sutured, casted and as far as I could tell ready to go, but no one would let him out of traction. His "pets" were always visiting.
So one day I check the reports and find 15 pages of "the hungry head bites the soldier in the head, but its deflected by steel helm" wtf? I zoom to location and find, sure enough, his "pet dog" was a hungry head which scared away anyone who stepped into the hospital. (for some reason I just assumed 'h' meant dog as in 'h'ound despite knowing better. probably because I play stone soup, where dogs are usually 'h.') For all I know, the head could have been in there so long, that the reports grew old, and needed to "refresh" the fight to the top of the reports before I finally noticed. He could have been in there for years. (on second thought it couldn't have been to long, because he wasn't particularly hungry or thirsty) Unfortunately, it seems unconscious dwarves don't gain experience or getting bit in the head doesn't give experience because he's still a mediocre soldier.
As for the hungry head; 1 master spear dwarf destroyed his liver with a (copper spear) and then poked his wing off. (lol, hungry heads have liver in their head, where do they keep their brains?)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on January 24, 2012, 03:55:01 pm
Quote from: Rude on January 24, 2012, 12:45:40 pm
There was a soldier in traction for a long time, and he wasn't healing up for some reason (he wasn't hurt bad, it must have been a smashed arm or something.) the doctors totally ignored him and I couldn't figure out why. I'd check on him every month or so and it was the same. checked the z->h menu and it said he had been treated, sutured, casted and as far as I could tell ready to go, but no one would let him out of traction. His "pets" were always visiting.
So one day I check the reports and find 15 pages of "the hungry head bites the soldier in the head, but its deflected by steel helm" wtf? I zoom to location and find, sure enough, his "pet dog" was a hungry head which scared away anyone who stepped into the hospital. (for some reason I just assumed 'h' meant dog as in 'h'ound despite knowing better. probably because I play stone soup, where dogs are usually 'h.') For all I know, the head could have been in there so long, that the reports grew old, and needed to "refresh" the fight to the top of the reports before I finally noticed. He could have been in there for years. (on second thought it couldn't have been to long, because he wasn't particularly hungry or thirsty) Unfortunately, it seems unconscious dwarves don't gain experience or getting bit in the head doesn't give experience because he's still a mediocre soldier.
As for the hungry head; 1 master spear dwarf destroyed his liver with a (copper spear) and then poked his wing off. (lol, hungry heads have liver in their head, where do they keep their brains?)

When your primary food source is disabled dwarves, livers are much more important than brains.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MagmaSolutionsInc on January 25, 2012, 06:36:33 am
Quote from: Rude on January 24, 2012, 12:45:40 pm
There was a soldier in traction for a long time, and he wasn't healing up for some reason (he wasn't hurt bad, it must have been a smashed arm or something.) the doctors totally ignored him and I couldn't figure out why. I'd check on him every month or so and it was the same. checked the z->h menu and it said he had been treated, sutured, casted and as far as I could tell ready to go, but no one would let him out of traction. His "pets" were always visiting.
So one day I check the reports and find 15 pages of "the hungry head bites the soldier in the head, but its deflected by steel helm" wtf? I zoom to location and find, sure enough, his "pet dog" was a hungry head which scared away anyone who stepped into the hospital. (for some reason I just assumed 'h' meant dog as in 'h'ound despite knowing better. probably because I play stone soup, where dogs are usually 'h.') For all I know, the head could have been in there so long, that the reports grew old, and needed to "refresh" the fight to the top of the reports before I finally noticed. He could have been in there for years. (on second thought it couldn't have been to long, because he wasn't particularly hungry or thirsty) Unfortunately, it seems unconscious dwarves don't gain experience or getting bit in the head doesn't give experience because he's still a mediocre soldier.
As for the hungry head; 1 master spear dwarf destroyed his liver with a (copper spear) and then poked his wing off. (lol, hungry heads have liver in their head, where do they keep their brains?)

Just think - the new version will allow for a hungry head head!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on January 25, 2012, 04:33:51 pm
Testing an airlock system with the drawbridges, a goblin thief tripped the pressure plates I had installed in front so it'd catapult them into the wall.  Well, I found that it instead tripped, flung them up a z level, and then the bridge came crashing down on ethier head.

That's all well and good until I saw my butcher go flying up, come back down, and then get squashed by the bridge. I wondered what had caused it until I checked the units list and found a dead goblin thief among the pages of dead giant badgers, cougars, and turkeys. Seems the gobo had done an unintended kamikaze run and got himself killed undetected.

The lesson: The atom smasher is mighty, just hope a thief dont trigger it while your dorfs are crossing.

Less facepalm, more wtf: Moose man strangled a dwarf's pet cavy to death for no reason. subsequently punched the owner in the temple and got beat to death by armydorfs with training spears. And before you ask, I forgot to lock the door to the room I let the moose men out. Wanted to use them as live dummies and got a dead cavy, legendary clothesmaker, injured broker, and a bunch of pissed armydorfs (Not unhappy, just usual "I got drafted" pissy.) Oh and a bunch of dead moosemen the armydorfs took thier frustration out on.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bombzero on January 25, 2012, 05:10:57 pm
Quote from: Rude on January 24, 2012, 12:45:40 pm
As for the hungry head; 1 master spear dwarf destroyed his liver with a (copper spear) and then poked his wing off. (lol, hungry heads have liver in their head, where do they keep their brains?)

holy shit, they are dwarfier than we think.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kaenneth on January 26, 2012, 05:17:04 pm
Quote from: Splint on January 25, 2012, 04:33:51 pm
Less facepalm, more wtf: Moose man strangled a dwarf's pet cavy to death for no reason.

Was the Cavy in a hat?, and/or named Rocky?

WTB: combat log of a moose man punching a squirrel so it goes flying.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SquirrelWizard on January 26, 2012, 10:41:52 pm
making a pseudodragon creature (basically small domestic dragons and an upgrade from dogs) that are supposed to have a dizzy/drowsy/unconcious breathe attack.

loaded up the game in arena mode, and found that my dragon was spraying Pseudodragon Fat all over the place because I forgot to capitalize POWDER in its breath attack.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on January 27, 2012, 02:07:53 am
Quote from: kaenneth on January 26, 2012, 05:17:04 pm
Quote from: Splint on January 25, 2012, 04:33:51 pm
Less facepalm, more wtf: Moose man strangled a dwarf's pet cavy to death for no reason.

Was the Cavy in a hat?, and/or named Rocky?


Nope. Just.... For no reason.... Although that would have been awsome. WHY! MOOSE MAN! WHY STRANGLE THE CAVY!?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MoonSheep on January 27, 2012, 05:52:23 am
 :( my face when i realize that the starting group of dwarves is named 'the sacks of romance'... yeah awkward
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Elf Lover on January 27, 2012, 10:33:37 am
(http://img685.imageshack.us/img685/9035/hardcorebookkeeper.png) (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/685/hardcorebookkeeper.png/)

...Since when can a BOOKKEEPER do that? I thought he'd be too busy labelling items when my woodworker (who was not insane, melancholy or any other mood) began to run around the fortress, interrupting everything. Well, that's new.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Henrik Undrgrim on January 27, 2012, 12:18:06 pm
Quote from: Elf Lover on January 27, 2012, 10:33:37 am
(http://img685.imageshack.us/img685/9035/hardcorebookkeeper.png) (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/685/hardcorebookkeeper.png/)

...Since when can a BOOKKEEPER do that? I thought he'd be too busy labelling items when my woodworker (who was not insane, melancholy or any other mood) began to run around the fortress, interrupting everything. Well, that's new.

Check to see if he is also a captain of the guard because I did the same myself and paid with dwarven blood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on January 28, 2012, 03:55:23 pm
three words Siege, magma, failure

It was the capital too!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on January 28, 2012, 06:30:52 pm
I'm not sure if it's a facepalm or an anti-facepalm but... WARNING SPOILERS!!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on January 28, 2012, 07:29:11 pm
Quote from: imperium3 on January 28, 2012, 06:30:52 pm
I'm not sure if it's a facepalm or an anti-facepalm but... WARNING SPOILERS!!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yeah but when you do hit that hollow spot you're going to know it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on January 28, 2012, 07:36:07 pm
The dwarves delved too greedily and too deep...

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DugTooDeep
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McKiwi on January 29, 2012, 03:25:10 am
Order of events:

1st: The idiot miners haul barrels instead of mining. Which is odd, because mining was the only labour enabled. Ah well...
2nd: Wait, the liason is here? Ok, go hold the meeting.
3rd: Why are you shifting barrels and bins again? Get back to mining if you're not going to meet the liason. We need that plug set up to breach the aquifer!
4th: Liason, please stop getting in the way of the plug.
5th: Please stop standing on the plug, liason, you've just shoved the miner onto it and he's about to....oh....
6th: Carpenter, please stop putting stuff in bins, and make a pair of coffins. Stonecrafter, you're a miner now. Other Guy, you're also a miner now.
7th: hey, the water froze. So that whole plug thing was un-needed. Right. let's get cracking!
8th: Why are you doing that? I set your designations so you WOULDN'T get yourselves encased in-......oh, too late.
9th: Carpenter, please stop drinking, putting things in beds, and jerking off to pictures of the traders beard, and go and make FOUR coffins. Since you still haven't made the first two.
10th: Ah what the hell *savescum*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on January 29, 2012, 06:47:14 am
Quote from: Urist McKiwi on January 29, 2012, 03:25:10 am
Order of events:

1st: The idiot miners haul barrels instead of mining. Which is odd, because mining was the only labour enabled. Ah well...
2nd: Wait, the liason is here? Ok, go hold the meeting.
3rd: Why are you shifting barrels and bins again? Get back to mining if you're not going to meet the liason. We need that plug set up to breach the aquifer!
4th: Liason, please stop getting in the way of the plug.
5th: Please stop standing on the plug, liason, you've just shoved the miner onto it and he's about to....oh....
6th: Carpenter, please stop putting stuff in bins, and make a pair of coffins. Stonecrafter, you're a miner now. Other Guy, you're also a miner now.
7th: hey, the water froze. So that whole plug thing was un-needed. Right. let's get cracking!
8th: Why are you doing that? I set your designations so you WOULDN'T get yourselves encased in-......oh, too late.
9th: Carpenter, please stop drinking, putting things in beds, and jerking off to pictures of the traders beard, and go and make FOUR coffins. Since you still haven't made the first two.
10th: Ah what the hell *savescum*

Cut off the last bit and that's probably many a fortress' average day right there. Or maybe only 4 dead from an aquifer incident is just a slow day, I dunno.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on January 29, 2012, 08:53:20 am
Quote from: Splint on January 29, 2012, 06:47:14 am
Quote from: Urist McKiwi on January 29, 2012, 03:25:10 am
Order of events:

1st: The idiot miners haul barrels instead of mining. Which is odd, because mining was the only labour enabled. Ah well...
2nd: Wait, the liason is here? Ok, go hold the meeting.
3rd: Why are you shifting barrels and bins again? Get back to mining if you're not going to meet the liason. We need that plug set up to breach the aquifer!
4th: Liason, please stop getting in the way of the plug.
5th: Please stop standing on the plug, liason, you've just shoved the miner onto it and he's about to....oh....
6th: Carpenter, please stop putting stuff in bins, and make a pair of coffins. Stonecrafter, you're a miner now. Other Guy, you're also a miner now.
7th: hey, the water froze. So that whole plug thing was un-needed. Right. let's get cracking!
8th: Why are you doing that? I set your designations so you WOULDN'T get yourselves encased in-......oh, too late.
9th: Carpenter, please stop drinking, putting things in beds, and jerking off to pictures of the traders beard, and go and make FOUR coffins. Since you still haven't made the first two.
10th: Ah what the hell *savescum*

Cut off the last bit and that's probably many a fortress' average day right there. Or maybe only 4 dead from an aquifer incident is just a slow day, I dunno.

No, no, that sounds about right.

Except there's no mention of packs of badgers tearing ass through the campsite or bears stealing all of the booze.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on January 29, 2012, 09:12:19 am
Bah of course! I knew I forgot something!

Make it giant badgers though. Or unicorns. Unicorns are evil kidney gouging bastards, and giant badgers paint walls with dwarven baby blood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reudh on January 29, 2012, 09:34:52 am
I should break down my recent happenings.

1. The mason assigned to build the Great Adamantine Road of Limulunnos in order that we may become the mountainhome is being lazy. No bother, I disable his labour to let one of the other six masons take over. They ignore it.
2. I find out it's because a goblin had died on the spot the GAR was being built. DORVES; Y U NO THINK TO MOVE THE ITEMS ASIDE LIKE WITH WORKSHOPS?
3. Liaison arrives. "I have arrived to empower your land as a county!"
4. FUUUUUU. Lazy Mason #1 and #2 are drafted as a ramschackle militia for one year for their laziness. Two idling dwarves (a fish cleaner and a peasant) are selected to replace them.
5. A vile force of darkness has arrived! The Inky Busts and the Bronze Temple are stationed at the entrance. The civilian alert is sounded. The drawbridge is raised, sealing the dwarves of Vathezzan and Limulunnos inside. The Bronze Temples and the Inky Busts are sealed outside.
6. Inod Gankivish, one of our two medical dwarves is caught outside. Her baby is ripped from her grasp and slaughtered. Oddly, Inod remains Ecstatic.
7. A hunter is surprised by a lone goblin. The hunter unloads his entire quiver in a few seconds, killing the hapless goblin. The hunter flees.
8. Our other medical dwarf, the Chief Medical Dwarf who does the majority of the hospital work anyway is struck by a fey mood!
9. He goes to one of the three workshops near the Spoilerite which are at Z-57. The supplies he uses are at Z-1 and 2.
10. By the time he has finally gathered all of his items (bones, raw spoilerite, spoilerite bars, wood) the Inky Busts and the Bronze Temples have ruined the goblin's day. Three of the military are wounded. One was killed.
11. By the time the CMD has finished his work, the three wounded are beginning to get thirsty. Finally they get seen to.
12. Zefon Abodnish, our Baroness chucks a tantrum because we didn't have a new room ready the second she was elevated to Countess.
13. She destroys her own statue, calms down, attempts to beat herself and fails.

Silly Countess Zefon.
6.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on January 29, 2012, 12:53:08 pm
Quote from: imperium3 on January 28, 2012, 07:36:07 pm
The dwarves delved too greedily and too deep...

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DugTooDeep

Dwarf Fortress, where even Hell isn't digging too deep
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hybrid on January 29, 2012, 01:10:11 pm
Hmm, let`s see...


And thus "Knightrings" was abandoned, now inhabited by some forgotten beast who made it in my fort from the outside.

Should have tried to get it back in working shape, but I abandoned it. Oh well...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bombzero on January 29, 2012, 02:25:00 pm
Quote from: imperium3 on January 28, 2012, 07:36:07 pm
The dwarves delved too greedily and too deep...

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DugTooDeep

whoa.. DF has been linked too on TvTropes...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on January 29, 2012, 02:35:03 pm
long time now i figured. some phrases are even credited to DF
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: erissian on January 29, 2012, 02:39:18 pm
Hell, that's how I found out about DF.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Loud Whispers on January 29, 2012, 06:04:51 pm
Quote from: erissian on January 29, 2012, 02:39:18 pm
Hell, that's how I found out about DF.

I found out about DF on a video where someone threw a wave of magma against water :/

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on January 30, 2012, 08:41:57 am
Well, let's see... The mass (un)forbid realization gave me a minor one. And then there's the whole "look before you channel" issue that ruined the security of a couple of forts, and the thing with leaving one (1) ill-placed ground tile or missing floor tile at a remote location that lets the enemy right past the defenses.
A bigger one was in my previous fortress, where I'd set up a floodgate of DOOM to be used in case of an impending goblin apocalypse. Right next to the main entrance staircase. Then a cyclops came calling, and I decided to entice it into the entrance corridor so my marksdwarves could use the murder-holes there to fill the thing with bolts. Only the thing is, cyclopses destroy buildings... floodgates included. !!Fun!! ensues.  :-[ (Luckily, I at least managed to trap the cyclops in a dead end with some fortifications so it drowned too.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on January 30, 2012, 11:36:38 am
Quote from: Hybrid on January 29, 2012, 01:10:11 pm
Hmm, let`s see...

  • "An ambush! Curse them!"
  • Raise the drawbridge!
  • Hah! The 2 goblins fell into the pit!
  • Go, my squads! Finish the last few goblins!
  • Snatchers too? Damn!
  • 3 minutes later and they still are chasing that pikeman!
  • Oh god! Every dwarf is running around outside like an idiot! Gah, I forgot to set them an area to stay in! *facepalm*
  • Eh, the pikeman still is being chased
  • WHAT THE F*CK!? MY DINING AREA IS FLOODING!
  • Wait, I forgot to close the floodgate *facepalm*
  • Wait, he`s STILL not dead? And you`re injured, too? Screw this *Abandons fort*

And thus "Knightrings" was abandoned, now inhabited by some forgotten beast who made it in my fort from the outside.

Should have tried to get it back in working shape, but I abandoned it. Oh well...
Pff, you abandon due to that? Pah, I say. Pah.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hybrid on January 30, 2012, 01:14:26 pm
Yeah, compared to other forts, that's nothing. Still, I wanted to get out of that fort for some reason. And realising that such things aren't that hard to fix as I suddenly thought then. *facepalming at self* I need to play DF more. And with real fun. Come to think of it, I wonder is that FB still there :p.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pugsly on January 30, 2012, 02:36:39 pm
Ok, first off I am bad at this game and haven't played for about six months or so.  First fort I tried to get back into the swing of things was coming along slowly when a cyclops named Abil somethingorother showed up and in between tearing through seventy something of my dwarfs took breaks by eating a goblin siege and snacked on an elven caravan (hey, guess she wasn't that bad afterall).

I was kind of miffed at this and liked the layout of that fort.  I never tried a reclaim project and didn't know much about them but I figured what the heck, pick up the pieces of that broken fort and start it up again!  I startd with a (probably poor designed) axesdorf and send him into the main entry hall to do some scouting and uncover the map.  He just made it past the trade depot when he was ambushed by...  that damn cyclops Abil!  Guess she was still hungry after all the terror she caused earlier.  Seven more dwarfs down and that fort abandoned...  for now.

My real face palm just happened and inspired me to come here to share it, probably lame by some of the tales you guys have spun here but lessons were learned from what is now Abil's fort.  Building a wall around my main gate which has a drawbridge that can be retracted and if so it leads to a winding, twisting hall filled with traps.  Just cage traps and stone fall traps so far...  magma scares me.  I have a bunch of dwarfs working on the wall when I see this message which is my long winded face palm moment...

Azum Eskib Trapper cancels Construct Building: Interupted by Doe Rabbit

Really Azum?  a rabbit??
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reudh on January 30, 2012, 06:14:37 pm
Massive siege, too big even for my twenty well trained dwarves in candy armor. I sound the alert, get the bridge pulled up to protect us all and

URIST MC SOLDIER HAS BEEN CRUSHED BY A DRAWBRIDGE x8.


FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--

Savescum.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on January 30, 2012, 06:22:44 pm
Quote from: pugsly on January 30, 2012, 02:36:39 pm
Really Azum?  a rabbit??

You'd be suprised. As I recall someone lost a dorf to a sea lampray. Mabye it had rabies or something.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkrider2 on January 30, 2012, 10:26:15 pm
There was an aquifer on my map, I only had two layers of soil to work with.

So with some creative channeling I opened some of the aquifer up to the sky, then started to dig down.

Urist McMiner has been encased in ice x3

*facepalm*

Then a carpenter went axe crazy and killed four people and a war dog, and the mechanic that had been running around with all his cloths off finally starved to death.

I abandoned after that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CaptainBadwheel on January 30, 2012, 10:37:15 pm
Evidently gigantic Kinglets made of grime and filth are immune to magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on January 31, 2012, 12:53:50 am
Quote from: Splint on January 30, 2012, 06:22:44 pm
Quote from: pugsly on January 30, 2012, 02:36:39 pm
Really Azum?  a rabbit??

You'd be suprised. As I recall someone lost a dorf to a sea lampray. Mabye it had rabies or something.
Those gigantic leeches can grow up to 35 or so inches long. That would be frightening at best.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on January 31, 2012, 02:36:49 am
Quote from: pugsly on January 30, 2012, 02:36:39 pm
Really Azum?  a rabbit??
"He's got huge, sharp... er... He can leap about. Look at the bones!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reverie on January 31, 2012, 02:53:19 am
This post intentionally left blank.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on January 31, 2012, 03:07:48 am
Quote from: MaximumZero on January 31, 2012, 12:53:50 am
Those gigantic leeches can grow up to 35 or so inches long. That would be frightening at best.

Last time I checked leeches sucked blood, not smack dorfs in the face and insta-kill them.

No body of water is safe it seems, except for marksdwarves. Since they can, you know, pin cushin Carp/Sturgeon/Sea Lampray/whatever other horrible fish.

Recent facepalm: I was ambushed by goblins, and for some reason or another thier marksgob leader was already dead. Like a pile of bones on the floor dead. How the fuck this happened I dont wanna know.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doomshifter on January 31, 2012, 04:57:21 am
Quote from: Splint on January 31, 2012, 03:07:48 am
Recent facepalm: I was ambushed by goblins, and for some reason or another thier marksgob leader was already dead. Like a pile of bones on the floor dead. How the fuck this happened I dont wanna know.

Probably has to do with the thing where, sometimes in adventure mode the person you are sent to kill will instantly die of old age. It's because the game forgets that they really ought to have died of old age by now and then they appear, the game goes, "Crap! Forgot about him!" and they die.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on January 31, 2012, 04:19:07 pm
Quote from: Doomshifter on January 31, 2012, 04:57:21 am
Quote from: Splint on January 31, 2012, 03:07:48 am
Recent facepalm: I was ambushed by goblins, and for some reason or another thier marksgob leader was already dead. Like a pile of bones on the floor dead. How the fuck this happened I dont wanna know.

Probably has to do with the thing where, sometimes in adventure mode the person you are sent to kill will instantly die of old age. It's because the game forgets that they really ought to have died of old age by now and then they appear, the game goes, "Crap! Forgot about him!" and they die.

I thought goblins were immortal save for disease or battle deaths... Must've been a mutiny. Had to have been. They saw the corpses of all the missing ambush parties and goblin thieves sitting on isolated pillars out from of my gleaming platinum statued gatehouse and murdered his ass for taking them on a suicide run.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on January 31, 2012, 11:05:02 pm
I wanted to clean out my pumpstack and modify it a little.  It would've helped if I had opened it at the top and remembered to close it at the base.  Magma and 20-odd melted dwarves all down the staircase because i'd already designated digging jobs.  Whoops...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on January 31, 2012, 11:51:11 pm
Quote from: Splint on January 31, 2012, 03:07:48 am
Quote from: MaximumZero on January 31, 2012, 12:53:50 am
Those gigantic leeches can grow up to 35 or so inches long. That would be frightening at best.

Last time I checked leeches sucked blood, not smack dorfs in the face and insta-kill them.

No body of water is safe it seems, except for marksdwarves. Since they can, you know, pin cushin Carp/Sturgeon/Sea Lampray/whatever other horrible fish.
Have you SEEN a Lamprey? *shudder* There's nowhere to punch on that thing that isn't either teeth or writhing tentacle. They're like a Japanese fetishist's nightmare/wet dream.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Elf Lover on February 01, 2012, 12:33:55 pm
(http://img844.imageshack.us/img844/3169/statue.png) (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/844/statue.png/)

You can see why he looks offended. CHALK?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on February 01, 2012, 04:30:11 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on January 31, 2012, 11:51:11 pm
Quote from: Splint on January 31, 2012, 03:07:48 am
Quote from: MaximumZero on January 31, 2012, 12:53:50 am
Those gigantic leeches can grow up to 35 or so inches long. That would be frightening at best.

Last time I checked leeches sucked blood, not smack dorfs in the face and insta-kill them.

No body of water is safe it seems, except for marksdwarves. Since they can, you know, pin cushin Carp/Sturgeon/Sea Lampray/whatever other horrible fish.
Have you SEEN a Lamprey? *shudder* There's nowhere to punch on that thing that isn't either teeth or writhing tentacle. They're like a Japanese fetishist's nightmare/wet dream.

True enough.... You'd think that damn fisher would've run from the potential rape critter... Still wasn't expect something that.... squishy looking to kill a dorf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on February 01, 2012, 04:31:41 pm
my carpenter drowned himself when he was walling :why:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CaptainBadwheel on February 02, 2012, 05:01:19 am
Nothing really big, but I realized why sandbags kept appearing in my ballista-arrow Pile. Press u to disable sandbags in furniture piles.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on February 02, 2012, 05:25:59 am
Quote from: CaptainBadwheel on February 02, 2012, 05:01:19 am
Nothing really big, but I realized why sandbags kept appearing in my ballista-arrow Pile. Press u to disable sandbags in furniture piles.
You just gave me a facepalm moment right there. I've kept wondering why they drag bags into my siege stockpile...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Elf Lover on February 02, 2012, 04:00:34 pm
Quote from: Sus on February 02, 2012, 05:25:59 am
You just gave me a facepalm moment right there. I've kept wondering why they drag bags into my siege stockpile...

In case the Germans come, and you ain't got time to build trenches.
By Germans, I mean HFS.
And by HFS, I mean elves.
And by sandbags, I mean magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NinjaBoot on February 03, 2012, 06:06:10 pm
I threw up a temporary jail but forgot to de-equip my Hammerguard of his silver WHORHAMMER. 

I completely forgot about this for a time and felt that letting a useless mandate pass would result in jail time, heh.

Well, next thing I know I see the Hammerguard bludgeoning one of my furnace operators (one of 6 thankfully) to death.  Ended up breaking both his arms and legs, and he eventually succumbed to disease! 

Now my Hammerguard's been reassigned back to his default squad and a new one's been appointed with less weapon skills and is equipped with a training axe should be ever need to tap somebody for breaking the law, judge dredd style.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxler on February 03, 2012, 07:05:12 pm
well i set my fort to implode. well some1 pulled the leaver and guess what happened to sliveryaxes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: calour on February 03, 2012, 07:12:14 pm
My crafter just returned to society with an artifact worth of 604k, making my total wealth 640k. Facepalms for I got nothing to guard it from raiders. I predict Fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on February 03, 2012, 07:16:44 pm
Tinhammers accepted nobility.

'Nuff said.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on February 04, 2012, 05:27:27 am
I start an adventurer on a world that didn't generate my vampires  :'( and on my first night, this happened:
(http://C:/Users/Nick Wood/Desktop/Dont mind me/DF/killer_left_hook.png)
IRL, I have a white belt in karate.
Even I could have done better.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: erissian on February 04, 2012, 05:40:48 am
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on February 04, 2012, 05:27:27 am
I start an adventurer on a world that didn't generate my vampires  :'(

Vampires aren't out yet. You'll have to wait for 31.26, which is coming soon.

Quote
http://C:/Users/Your Real Name/Desktop/Dont mind me/DF/killer_left_hook.png

That is not how URLs work. You'll have to upload that to some image hosting site and then use that URL to include it here.

(Also, edit your post to remove the URL you have, because your real name is in it, assuming that matters to you.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxy15 on February 04, 2012, 05:44:15 am
Quote from: erissian on February 04, 2012, 05:40:48 am
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on February 04, 2012, 05:27:27 am
I start an adventurer on a world that didn't generate my vampires  :'(

Vampires aren't out yet. You'll have to wait for 31.26, which is coming soon.
Could be a mod he's using.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on February 04, 2012, 04:17:53 pm
UristMcMood cancels mood:  Went insane.

The magma level in the magma forge dropped too low.  I'm still trying to figure out why.

Also, can you deconstruct workshops being used for a mood?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on February 04, 2012, 06:28:49 pm
Quote from: erissian on February 04, 2012, 05:40:48 am
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on February 04, 2012, 05:27:27 am
I start an adventurer on a world that didn't generate my vampires  :'(

Vampires aren't out yet. You'll have to wait for 31.26, which is coming soon.

I am trying to mod vampires in as human-looking creatures with wings and that are carnivorous. Their word for 'destroyer' is 'Flandre'. Points if you get the reference!
And that's not my name, my name is Connor.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Telgin on February 04, 2012, 08:36:19 pm
Quote from: Vehudur on February 04, 2012, 04:17:53 pm
UristMcMood cancels mood:  Went insane.

The magma level in the magma forge dropped too low.  I'm still trying to figure out why.

Also, can you deconstruct workshops being used for a mood?

I don't know, sounds like someone needs to experiment!  I suspect if you can do this, it'll drive the dwarf insane like a failing magma workshop.

Had a minor facepalm moment: built a moat and started filling it with water.  Of course I didn't seal up the end of the pump completely, so it starts spewing water everywhere.  Thankfully it's an aboveground fort, so not too much Fun was had.  Plugged it up, and will know better next time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on February 05, 2012, 02:13:15 am
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on February 04, 2012, 06:28:49 pm
Quote from: erissian on February 04, 2012, 05:40:48 am
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on February 04, 2012, 05:27:27 am
I start an adventurer on a world that didn't generate my vampires  :'(

Vampires aren't out yet. You'll have to wait for 31.26, which is coming soon.

I am trying to mod vampires in as human-looking creatures with wings and that are carnivorous. Their word for 'destroyer' is 'Flandre'. Points if you get the reference!
And that's not my name, my name is Connor.
No points get awarded for that. There are lots of toohoos on this board. To the point that I got that reference, and I am no toohoo.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PhantomXD on February 05, 2012, 02:48:17 am
Quote from: erissian on February 04, 2012, 05:40:48 am

http://C:/Users/Your Real Name/Desktop/Dont mind me/DF/killer_left_hook.png

this made my day ^^
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Clutzy on February 05, 2012, 11:46:15 am
Irongift had been getting along just swell until a sudden siege that had triple the force of my military. I was getting a lil bored, had them decked out in steel, and figured, "Eh, why not? Should be !!!FUN!!!". Proceed to get towards the end after three one-right-after-the-other sieges that causes the remaining eight (out of the 151 starting at the first siege) to kill the trolls that were blocking the entryway to safety, freedom, and more importantly, food and booze. This caused me to discover my miner baron was awesome at this task, gaining a name by almost singlehandedly killing all four (he had killed a named toad earlier). That's what caused the true demise of Irongift. See, he was pretty miserable already from the death, decay, and hunger/thirst. It actually "allowed" him to throw a tanterum and kill the one dwarf who had a better dining room than him. I swear he sought her out to strike down, knowing she couldn't do anything while laid up in the hospital. Jealousy changes people into killing machines sometimes. Well, after that I thought things would start picking up. Nope. Remember how I said I had drafted him? Well I forgot to undraft my baron and then military training came up. Proceed to have one berserker, named, baron reeking havoc throughout Irongift to indicate failure. The cherry on top? Another siege had shown up just after he had settled outside.

/FACEPALM
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on February 05, 2012, 07:28:14 pm
Every time I try to dig through an aquifer on a freezing embark, my miners all do their damnedest to get frozen solid. I don't know WHY.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on February 05, 2012, 07:34:19 pm
Quote from: Niccolo on February 05, 2012, 07:28:14 pm
Every time I try to dig through an aquifer on a freezing embark, my miners all do their damnedest to get frozen solid. I don't know WHY.

As tedious as it is, designate channels one tile at a time.  Ensure that the dwarf will leave moving away from the channel.  Do this by having mining on just one dwarf, designating the channel, when the start to dig pause and designate a dig where you want them to move safely to.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Knick on February 06, 2012, 09:11:37 am
As it turns out, doors do NOT necessarily keep goblins out of the above-ground portion of my fort.  Funny thing about the centralized stairway design that I favour:  it allows a goblin siege to very quickly wreak havoc in a fort. 

Got lucky, though--my military, consisting of nothing but marksdwarves, was able to soften up the invaders.  Although there were numerous casualties, my miners actually  broke the siege by walloping goblins with their picks.

So, no problem, right?  I started to inter the dead, building a warren of catacombs and tombs.  Only about 14 dwarves were killed, leaving around 70 or so.

That's when winter hit.  It was a temperate climate so the ponds and river froze (already had problems with some dwarves breaking through the ice in the spring).  I had not yet built a functioning cistern (although it was almost ready to go).  Of course, I could not fill the cistern while the river was frozen.

Around mid-winter, I has a long series of "Urist McDwarf cancels give water:  no water source".  I assumed there were some dwarves who were injured and took to their beds.  I was pleased with how diligent the dwarves were in caring for the injured.

That's when the great die-off started.  One after another, my little dwarves succumbed to thirst.  Checking the stocks screen, I realized--my booze stocks were gone.  i've always had some difficulty in managing booze, but the presence of water has usually been an adequate cushion.

By the time I was able to rebuild my booze stockpile, I was down to five remaining dwarves, one of whom, thank God, was my mayor and broker.

Come the spring, migrants arrives.  Putting them to work on the clean up, particularly the dessicated corpses lying everywhere, the elves arrived.  At the same time, the ice started to break up, allowing me to build that cistern.

That's when the goblin ambush struck.  In the race for survival, I had not replaced the doors with something more secure.  No problem, right?  The elves were there.  Elven arrows would discourage the goblins.  Right?  Right?

The goblins raced inside the fortress, hunting down every dwarf they could find.

The last dwarf standing was my mayor.  Chased into a dead end tunnel, with five goblins in hot pursuit, he was quickly surrounded.  Thus ended my fortress.

The elves never moved from the Trade Depot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on February 06, 2012, 10:33:10 am
Elven caravans are unarmed anyway... But did the goblins not attack them?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flodeklojo on February 06, 2012, 11:06:07 am
currently working on a circular, from the magma sea to the sky kinda pipe-looking fort. I decided i would make a 10z high dining hall somewhere. Couldn't use cave in to make it, so i designated channeling piece by piece....i missed a spot :)
A 1 tile cave-in fell 40z levels through my fort, destroying 12 stockpiles and 6 bedrooms in the process...could've been worse :p
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on February 06, 2012, 11:47:02 am
Urist McBedtime cancels sleep: Sky is falling.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on February 06, 2012, 04:26:35 pm
Quote from: MaximumZero on February 06, 2012, 11:47:02 am
Urist McBedtime cancels sleep: Sky is falling.

This.  So much.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flodeklojo on February 06, 2012, 08:35:25 pm
just found out it got worse: i have a 24 tile bedroom with identical design for each dwarf and of course the tile that dropped was the tile that had the bed located on it...it killed a legendary mason and an almost legendary armorer who where sleeping at the time. Serves them right for not being at work ^^
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on February 06, 2012, 09:17:44 pm
Note to the rest of the dorfs: You see this paste where these highly skilled workers used to be? No one is safe unless they're working! NOW GET BACK TO WORK.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on February 06, 2012, 11:58:58 pm
I once lost my broker (the only dorf in the whole damn fort with any social skills  >:( ) because a cave-in landed next to him, the ensuing dust blast turning him into so many dwarf-chunk-coloured wall decorations... Learned not to use cave-ins to hollow out frequently traveled areas.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Knick on February 07, 2012, 08:27:51 am
Quote from: imperium3 on February 06, 2012, 10:33:10 am
Elven caravans are unarmed anyway... But did the goblins not attack them?

In my quest for symetry, I had two doors on every side of my above-ground fortification.  Which meant the goblins could go in one side, while not even seeing the elves hanging about the trade depot.  I like to think they were slaughtered after the goblins were done wtih the fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dawnofdarkness on February 07, 2012, 11:37:49 am
my best face palm moment was when i was experimenting with syndromes to create biological weapons.

I had made water channels all around the map and had distributed the syndrome into them. sadly my herbalist was and idiot *shocker* and get contaminated.... lets just say i failed to quarantine him in time and he infected the rest of the fortress.... and while my fortress was slowly being killed by my weapon my medical dwarfs decided to throw a party....... that moment was among my top 10 list of "fun" ways to kill my fortress in dwarf fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on February 08, 2012, 01:17:14 am
Made a modded race/civ, forgot to give them skin. Horribleness on embark
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on February 08, 2012, 03:10:01 am
Quote from: HugoLuman on February 08, 2012, 01:17:14 am
Made a modded race/civ, forgot to give them skin. Horribleness on embark
Second best mod ever!

(The first best involves !!XStray cat spleenX!!.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dramier on February 09, 2012, 01:55:06 pm
I had a recent facepalm moment...   Caught me by surprise considering I've played DF for a pretty long time, albeit off and on.

Recently got back into playing after a long break, and had a decent Fort going.   Hit about 150 dwarves, crazy self-sufficient, just started work on using some magma to my advantage.   

Suddenly I found I couldn't build workshops...   or designate stuff...  or basically get any of the commands to work.   I thought well maybe my keyboard is derping, but the ESC key took me to the menu.   So I restarted DF, and still same problem.  After fifteen minutes of trying to get something to work I thought maybe the Fort is bugged somehow.   Abandoned... 

...then saw the Caps Lock light on.

:facedesk:

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on February 09, 2012, 04:41:20 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on February 08, 2012, 01:17:14 am
Made a modded race/civ, forgot to give them skin. Horribleness on embark

LOL!!! DORF!!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on February 09, 2012, 08:04:20 pm
Quote from: Sus on February 08, 2012, 03:10:01 am
Quote from: HugoLuman on February 08, 2012, 01:17:14 am
Made a modded race/civ, forgot to give them skin. Horribleness on embark
Second best mod ever!

(The first best involves !!XStray cat spleenX!!.)

link plz
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Springare on February 10, 2012, 02:17:03 pm
Personal Facepalm-moment of the day:
The cripple of the fortress, who is running around with a crutch, didn't want to put that wooden training sword away until... he got attched to it -.- And he had a copper axe and a shield. After that i put him to desk-jobs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WaffleEggnog on February 10, 2012, 09:15:27 pm
Im not sure if this counts, as it wasint me that caused it, but its still kindof hilarious.

I had about 45 dwarves and was screwing around when my second goblin siege on that fortress appeared. I was still trying to get back to 100 after the last one and had no military watsoever. So, well, you know the drill. Anyway after they retreaded i had 4. Among them was the one person i had named "Old man sniches" because he was the only one left from the original 7 dwarves that i started with. How ironic.....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: miauw62 on February 11, 2012, 04:05:34 am
Quote from: WaffleEggnog on February 10, 2012, 09:15:27 pm
Im not sure if this counts, as it wasint me that caused it, but its still kindof hilarious.

I had about 45 dwarves and was screwing around when my second goblin siege on that fortress appeared. I was still trying to get back to 100 after the last one and had no military watsoever. So, well, you know the drill. Anyway after they retreaded i had 4. Among them was the one person i had named "Old man sniches" because he was the only one left from the original 7 dwarves that i started with. How ironic.....

I use cage traps all the way to pluto and back.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on February 11, 2012, 05:07:05 am
Quote from: HugoLuman on February 09, 2012, 08:04:20 pm
Quote from: Sus on February 08, 2012, 03:10:01 am
Quote from: HugoLuman on February 08, 2012, 01:17:14 am
Made a modded race/civ, forgot to give them skin. Horribleness on embark
Second best mod ever!

(The first best involves !!XStray cat spleenX!!.)

link plz
Here's a vid:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJwIUU60sWQ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJwIUU60sWQ)
Post-Scamps, however, I hear the famous Thermonuclear Catsplosion is notoriously difficult to initiate... :(


Oh, and I recently had a FPM that forced a save scum: I accidentially channeled away one of the walls to my underground tree farm, giving goblins and trolls the run of the fort in the process...  :-[
Cue a lot of destroyed buildings in the kitchen area and a whole bunch of dead dorfs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on February 11, 2012, 10:33:03 am
Urist McWeaponsmith has a Fey Mood! Happiness and excitement all around.

Lead short sword. At least when someone is struck with the flat of the blade it will hurt.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on February 11, 2012, 08:10:23 pm
Quote from: Garath on February 11, 2012, 10:33:03 am
Urist McWeaponsmith has a Fey Mood! Happiness and excitement all around.

Lead short sword. At least when someone is struck with the flat of the blade it will hurt.

Damn, that is awful. I feel your pain man! My armorsmith got into a mood and made a soap shield :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nullnostalgia on February 11, 2012, 09:06:50 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on February 11, 2012, 08:10:23 pm
Quote from: Garath on February 11, 2012, 10:33:03 am
Urist McWeaponsmith has a Fey Mood! Happiness and excitement all around.

Lead short sword. At least when someone is struck with the flat of the blade it will hurt.

Damn, that is awful. I feel your pain man! My armorsmith got into a mood and made a soap shield :(

It's for waging war on dirt and grime! :awesomeface:

In all seriousness, what if that soap shield was utilized whilst fighting a FB with deadly, deadly, syndrome... in a flooded chamber? With a constant soapy bath in battle, no dwarf will die of disease!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zubb2 on February 11, 2012, 10:50:25 pm
I had a facepalm moment.

I was building a well above ground I built walls and stairs and designated a pond the dorfs filled it to five out of seven.

It then stayed like that quite a while I eventualy noticed the dorfs (filling pond) would go to the platform round the well get the bucket then pick up water from the well and put it back in WHAAAAAT.

Turns out I had water zones only but no zone so they were just getting the closest water they couldnt reach it till it got to five.

Them dorfs are stupid,also wow bloodstones are not worth much even cut.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on February 12, 2012, 03:15:41 am
Just crushed two dwarves and a baby because they rushed under the for atomsmasher just after I'd ordered its lever pulled.  Really should've made sure the stones being destroyed were set as forbidden...>.>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Callista on February 12, 2012, 11:03:41 am
Solution for that one is to dump things in from the level above, and have the level below enclosed by walls (with optional door to rescue accidentally dumped items). That way your dwarves can't get under the atom-smasher unless they're stupid enough to dodge in from above.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Clutzy on February 12, 2012, 12:03:48 pm
Still trying to figure out how to channel properly so water can come to lower levels (and eventually create fabulous waterfalls for the meeting areas). Proceeded to flood the entirety of Manorbell. /FACEPALM
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: automaticsquid on February 12, 2012, 04:40:34 pm
improperly designated an area to be channeled the resulting cave in lost me 1 legendary miner and got the other lost in a cave so long that when he came back he went berserk using his steel pick and incredible skill to murder a ton of dwarfs. this of course led to the spiral that ended my fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on February 12, 2012, 06:10:10 pm
Spent 50+ minutes carefully matching skills to dwarves at embark window... and forgot to bring items
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on February 12, 2012, 08:05:04 pm
Embarked on a lovely flat plain with a huge-ass river running straight through the centre - I was going to make a massive, sprawling city devoted to trade. It had clay, sand, no aquifer, plenty of water - in other words, my perfect site.

Then I discovered why nobody else had come here before; pack of badgers on one side, pack of skeletal badgers on the other, river between me and safety.

Everyone died.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on February 12, 2012, 11:47:08 pm
Quote from: Niccolo on February 12, 2012, 08:05:04 pm
Embarked on a lovely flat plain with a huge-ass river running straight through the centre - I was going to make a massive, sprawling city devoted to trade. It had clay, sand, no aquifer, plenty of water - in other words, my perfect site.

Then I discovered why nobody else had come here before; pack of badgers on one side, pack of skeletal badgers on the other, river between me and safety.

Everyone died.

Had a good bit of fun then I take it?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on February 12, 2012, 11:48:31 pm
Quote from: Splint on February 12, 2012, 11:47:08 pm
Had a good bit of fun then I take it?

Well, no. It wasn't that fun, sadly - I like the Fun Fairy to visit me just a little bit later in my fortress' life.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on February 12, 2012, 11:56:13 pm
Quote from: Niccolo on February 12, 2012, 11:48:31 pm
Quote from: Splint on February 12, 2012, 11:47:08 pm
Had a good bit of fun then I take it?

Well, no. It wasn't that fun, sadly - I like the Fun Fairy to visit me just a little bit later in my fortress' life.

Fair enough. Sounds like it would've been a great place regardless, if it were, y'know. Sans the angry balls of fur, hate, and skeleton.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on February 13, 2012, 04:55:18 am
I embarked on a terrifying biome. Built up defenses and a couple of founder militia. They drove off those gargoyles and Ogres with the power of copper.

Then I began digging a few z-levels in, making stairs to find some metals for forging (already set up for my nice above-ground fort).

Then I breached the caverns. Not long after that (Start of Autumn, First year), and FB trudges in with it's...poison.

It massacred my 15 dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: twilightdusk on February 13, 2012, 05:02:43 am
Embarking on a volcano in the middle of a tundra, and playing for 3 years, during which much of my time was building up in preparation for Goblins to come attack me...before I bothered to check and see that there are, in fact, no Goblin civilizations in this world, or at least not any near enough to bother me. So much work preparing for goblins to come...all for nothing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on February 13, 2012, 05:53:18 am
Quote from: twilightdusk on February 13, 2012, 05:02:43 am
Embarking on a volcano in the middle of a tundra, and playing for 3 years, during which much of my time was building up in preparation for Goblins to come attack me...before I bothered to check and see that there are, in fact, no Goblin civilizations in this world, or at least not any near enough to bother me. So much work preparing for goblins to come...all for nothing.

war with humans and pointy-ears
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NinjaBoot on February 13, 2012, 06:26:58 am
Quote from: ThatAussieGuy on February 12, 2012, 03:15:41 am
Just crushed two dwarves and a baby because they rushed under the for atomsmasher just after I'd ordered its lever pulled.  Really should've made sure the stones being destroyed were set as forbidden...>.>

I imagine when the atom smasher was pulled up it was something like the sticky-goo crap you seen when someone was crushed under a door in Duke3d ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: doublestrafe on February 13, 2012, 06:42:21 am
It was to be a controlled demolition.

I was determined that my magma reservoir would claim no lives this time. Ten Urists by ten Urists by ten Urists deep, each level was mined out, and the walls carefully smoothed. A support was built for the top floor, and then the edges of each floor were channeled out, except for a connection at the 3x1 staircase to the north. Hatch covers sealed the upward entrance, and a door prevented cave-in dust from threatening the volcano entrance, where the pump would go. There would be no mistakes made.

When everything was set, I triple-checked my dwarves. No one was near the reservoir, and there were no possible jobs to do there. I added the Pull the Lever job, and waited. When a dwarf came near, I hit 'v' to check again. Everything was clear.

The cave-in itself was a thing of beauty. A cascade of collapses, forming a perfect cube of deadly dust, and not a dwarf to be seen. When the dust settled, it was exactly as I had planned. All that was left was to remove the tiny tabs of floor that had held up the lower levels, and smooth the bottom.

...

The cave-in that ensued when I removed the tab killed one dwarftwo dwarves, including a legendary miner, and put three more engravers in the hospital. I love this game.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: twilightdusk on February 13, 2012, 02:45:48 pm
Quote from: Garath on February 13, 2012, 05:53:18 am
Quote from: twilightdusk on February 13, 2012, 05:02:43 am
Embarking on a volcano in the middle of a tundra, and playing for 3 years, during which much of my time was building up in preparation for Goblins to come attack me...before I bothered to check and see that there are, in fact, no Goblin civilizations in this world, or at least not any near enough to bother me. So much work preparing for goblins to come...all for nothing.

war with humans and pointy-ears

It's just not the same....

The fortress itself is stable and prosperous in this peacetime setup though, I'll probably keep the fortress and ultimately the world around for when I want to experiment with stuff and don't want to be bothered by goblins.

The elves and humans are also at war with each other though, I kind of feel like trapping the elven caravan in my fort until the humans arrive one year...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on February 13, 2012, 09:29:48 pm
Okay,m so I was digging out the pit under my entrance drawbridges where invaders go "splat!". Everything is going just peachy, until all of a sudden...
Urist McLegendaryMiner has died of thirst.

What the hey? ???
Stairs out of the pit and into escape tunnel, check. Escape tunnel, check. Stairs out of escape tunnel, ch... wait, what? 
The upward stairway out of the tunnel was all fine and dandy. The downward stairway connecting it with the great outdoors, however, was nowhere to be found.
Apparently, a patch of dense knotgrass grew on the square where the down stairway was to be dug, causing UristMcGoldfish to forget all about the "dig down stairs" order. "Because I was ordered to dig into sandy clay, not knotgrass, dammit!"  ::)

Sus slaps Sus on the forehead with the palm of his right hand, bruising the skin and bruising the skull. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on February 13, 2012, 11:24:06 pm
Quote from: Sus on February 13, 2012, 09:29:48 pm
Sus slaps Sus on the forehead with the palm of his right hand, bruising the skin and bruising the skull. 

sigged
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on February 14, 2012, 02:04:59 am
Quote from: HugoLuman on February 13, 2012, 11:24:06 pm
Quote from: Sus on February 13, 2012, 09:29:48 pm
Sus slaps Sus on the forehead with the palm of his right hand, bruising the skin and bruising the skull. 

sigged
Mission accomplished! >:D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ascimator on February 14, 2012, 08:27:40 am
There comes Urist McMetalcrafter with one of the first wave of migrants, it is also revealed that he is Expert fighter and all relevant.
No Urist, your shop is right here. Yup, take this. Yes, you will need that silver axe for your work. Take the armor as well, no one knows what could happen.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadenight123 on February 14, 2012, 08:57:15 am
so first migrants come up.
five dorfs.
first is a child.
second is a child.
third is a child.
fourth is a child.
fifth is the father of them all.
did the giant mosquitoes eat your wife you damn useless peasant?! Oh well. Drowning pit first victims? Checked.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on February 14, 2012, 09:01:33 am
This was mentioned as a side effect to the new migration settings somewhere in the log
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nightwhips on February 14, 2012, 02:04:37 pm
Channeling incident, legendary miner/expedition leader, one of only two miners, digging for magma for my smelters...

He found magma, all right.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: doublestrafe on February 14, 2012, 03:22:13 pm
So last night I took a fortress from about  20 to 142 dwarves, and realized I had the Best. Noble. Ever. She likes four things. Four things. Silver, amulets, alexandrites, and some stone or other that I can't remember. And she hardly ever asks for anything--this may be because she has "Never feels tempted to overindulge in anything," I'm not sure. This is a noble who will never cause me any trouble with unreasonable requests. At last.

And then somebody went and released a version where the requests aren't unreasonable anymore.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on February 14, 2012, 05:04:11 pm
Quote from: nightwhips on February 14, 2012, 02:04:37 pm
Channeling incident, legendary miner/expedition leader, one of only two miners, digging for magma for my smelters...

He found magma, all right.

Show of hands, who else had this happen the first few time they did this with any of thier better miners?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheWetSheep on February 14, 2012, 07:46:59 pm
When you read this, don't call me an idiot, please. Even though I was.

One of my fortresses had some very funny, face-palm-worthy moments in it. I was still quite an inexperienced player, and my fort had about fifty dwarves in it. I had caught some goblins in my cage traps, and was attempting to execute them. Two would be my prototypes. One I tried to drown, the other to dwarven atom smash. I did not know how to do either. I also did not know how to take away the goblin's weapons and armour. To drown the goblin I chained him up by a lake, then tried to dig the block next to him, leading into the lake. Of course, my miner became scared and refused to dig it. I couldn't remove him either, and, since I did not know how to use military well either, I couldn't kill it. The other goblin I had put in a room that looked like this:

WTTTW
WTTTW
WOOLW                  W= Wall, O= nOthing, C= Chain, G= Goblin, T= cage Trap, B= Bridge, L= Lever attached to Bridge.
WOOOW
WOOOW
WOOOW
WCGOW
WOOOW
WOOOW
WOOOW
WOOOW
WWWW

When the lever is pulled, it turns into this:

WTTTW
WTTTW
WOOLW         
WOBOW
WOBOW
WOBOW
WCBOW
WOBOW
WOBOW
WOBOW
WOBOW
WWWW

Of course, the person who pulls the lever gets scared and runs away when he sees the goblin too. This was made expecially annoying by the fact that the goblins were in full view of my main workshop area, so all my dwarves were too scared of them to do any work. I figured that I had to do something about this. So I sent part of my military, which, unbeknownst to me, consisted of 1 speardwarf, to attack the one by the lake. Very surprisingly, he killed it. I looked in his inventory. He was armed with a... pickaxe.
He did the job, though. Next, I sent the rest of my military to kill the other one. This did not work so well. The goblin took all six of them out. Two fell intro traps, and the rest were knocked out. Apparently, the goblin did not feel like killing them. So I send my speardwarf over to attack the the goblin. HE KILLS IT. I am very happy with this, until this happens:

The lever had been set on "Pull the lever: repeat for the last couple of years, and nobody could do it. Now, they could! The first good little dwarf comes along, pulls the lever, the bridge comes down and....

crushes two unconcious military dwarves, and my speardwarf.

FACEPALM!

Made even worse by the fact that a siege comes along. All my traps were full from the last siege, and all my military is in the hospital or in cages. Every last dwarf was killed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bombzero on February 14, 2012, 09:16:17 pm
Quote from: doublestrafe on February 14, 2012, 03:22:13 pm
So last night I took a fortress from about  20 to 142 dwarves, and realized I had the Best. Noble. Ever. She likes four things. Four things. Silver, amulets, alexandrites, and some stone or other that I can't remember. And she hardly ever asks for anything--this may be because she has "Never feels tempted to overindulge in anything," I'm not sure. This is a noble who will never cause me any trouble with unreasonable requests. At last.

And then somebody went and released a version where the requests aren't unreasonable anymore.

naturally, Toady hacked your computer than memory hacked DF, edited that noble so it would be in your next game, than used his secret doomsday mind control device to make you want to play DF. and timed it so that you would be playing when the new release came out, DUH!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SixOfSpades on February 14, 2012, 11:33:54 pm
Quote from: Sus on February 13, 2012, 09:29:48 pm
Apparently, a patch of dense knotgrass grew on the square where the down stairway was to be dug, causing UristMcGoldfish to forget all about the "dig down stairs" order. "Because I was ordered to dig into sandy clay, not knotgrass, dammit!"
Are you sure it wasn't Urist McGoldfish cancels Dig Downward Stair: Interrupted by Badger Sow or something like that?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on February 14, 2012, 11:37:57 pm
First fort on new release. Face palmed because it's appearently forwned upon to want to figure out wtf does what now in a semi-survivable place teeming with giant pissed off versions of many a harmless critter than in a zombie infested pit on day one.

Although tales of undead horse hair are hilarious.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on February 15, 2012, 01:12:06 am
Quote from: SixOfSpades on February 14, 2012, 11:33:54 pm
Quote from: Sus on February 13, 2012, 09:29:48 pm
Apparently, a patch of dense knotgrass grew on the square where the down stairway was to be dug, causing UristMcGoldfish to forget all about the "dig down stairs" order. "Because I was ordered to dig into sandy clay, not knotgrass, dammit!"
Are you sure it wasn't Urist McGoldfish cancels Dig Downward Stair: Interrupted by Badger Sow or something like that?
Nah, the only reason for a channel/down stair designation to vanish completely is that the tile in question changes from grass to soil or vice versa, AFAIK.

Got another one while trying out DF 2012:
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=100321.msg2988683#2988683 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=100321.msg2988683)
My Miner caused a cave-in beneath himself,  broke both of his legs and dehydrated to death when digging out the sunroof for my "outdoors" farm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KoffeeKup on February 15, 2012, 04:15:59 am
Figure new update is a month off, Downloaded LNP, Painstakingly edit advanced world parameters, Started new world, deleted, kept going til found ideal world generation, played adventurer mode a few times to enrich history, made new fortress, survive longer than usual, generally waste time

Check Bay12games...

New Updated (34.01)!

 :(

Don't feel like playing anymore. Mixed emotions at expedient release.

I think I'll still wait for lazy newb pack though, I love that thing, and there are still bug fixes to worry about as well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ascimator on February 15, 2012, 04:40:13 am
When I decided to set up the magma forge, had no fuel at the moment and needed another anvil for it. I gave an order and then for some reason instead of waiting for some logs to get hauled in deconstructed the smithery.
The anvil is still to be found. I do not know where that Urist McHauler took it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grax on February 15, 2012, 05:14:19 am
Quote from: KoffeeKup on February 15, 2012, 04:15:59 am
Figure new update is a month off, Downloaded LNP, Painstakingly edit advanced world parameters, Started new world, deleted, kept going til found ideal world generation, played adventurer mode a few times to enrich history, made new fortress, survive longer than usual, generally waste time

Check Bay12games...

New Updated (34.01)!
 :(
Don't feel like playing anymore. Mixed emotions at expedient release.
Losing is fun. You're just funny loser.  ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ascimator on February 15, 2012, 07:04:33 am
Damn it.
My blacksmith went possessed while I still had no forge. He had just stayed near his bed until going stark raving mad without claiming another shop. Guess that's where fun is going to find my secret noob lair.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Johuotar on February 15, 2012, 12:45:39 pm
I butchered yak in evil biome and it came alive and killed me dorves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grax on February 15, 2012, 02:16:43 pm
Quote from: Johuotar on February 15, 2012, 12:45:39 pm
I butchered yak in evil biome and it came alive and killed me dorves.
Ohfck! Is it real?!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on February 15, 2012, 04:33:55 pm
Quote from: Grax on February 15, 2012, 02:16:43 pm
Quote from: Johuotar on February 15, 2012, 12:45:39 pm
I butchered yak in evil biome and it came alive and killed me dorves.
Ohfck! Is it real?!

Indeed.
Teeth, hair, untanned hides, bones brobably.
Damn near everything will reanimate if it isn't precessed fast enough.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on February 15, 2012, 07:11:23 pm
Quote from: Splint on February 15, 2012, 04:33:55 pm
Quote from: Grax on February 15, 2012, 02:16:43 pm
Quote from: Johuotar on February 15, 2012, 12:45:39 pm
I butchered yak in evil biome and it came alive and killed me dorves.
Ohfck! Is it real?!

Indeed.
Teeth, hair, untanned hides, bones brobably.
Damn near everything will reanimate if it isn't precessed fast enough.

So... Dwarves in terrifying zones are all vegetarians?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Glanzor on February 15, 2012, 07:16:49 pm
My ... dwarves just elected a vampire into the mayor's office. Several weeks after she was found out and convicted for two murders.

I don't know anymore.  :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yakko on February 15, 2012, 07:28:37 pm
Had this glass worker imigrant I think he was, some sort of crafter anyway, he was complaining about not enough seats and flies which I ignored. He eventually went insane so I trapped him in his room to avoid him attacking other dwarves, he of course dies of thirst eventually so I dump him in a garbage pile and think nothing of it and give his room to one of my fisher dwarves.

My fisherdwarf gets possesed like a season later I figured it was a mood or something, he went back to his room and stayed there didn't really know what I could do about it so I just left him to it. Next thing I knew the ghost of the dwarf who's room it used to be shows up in the room and attacks the fisherdwarf and chops his left leg off xD

I then made a memorial stone for the ghost and he left. The fisher went to the dining hall and blead to death then a few dwarves had tantrums because of miasma because none would take the corpse to a refuse pile and started attacking others and the fort kinda went downhill from there, was all quite amusing to see it play out  :D

I always make sure to make memorial stones when dwarves die now, still learning the game but it's fun, I'm useless when it comes to military I can never find metal to get a metal industry going, goblins have killed a few of my other forts due to it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on February 15, 2012, 07:45:24 pm
Quote from: Niccolo on February 15, 2012, 07:11:23 pm
Quote from: Splint on February 15, 2012, 04:33:55 pm
Quote from: Grax on February 15, 2012, 02:16:43 pm
Quote from: Johuotar on February 15, 2012, 12:45:39 pm
I butchered yak in evil biome and it came alive and killed me dorves.
Ohfck! Is it real?!

Indeed.
Teeth, hair, untanned hides, bones brobably.
Damn near everything will reanimate if it isn't precessed fast enough.

So... Dwarves in terrifying zones are all vegetarians?

I would imagine all thier meat is imported...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nightwhips on February 15, 2012, 07:56:44 pm
Had a dwarf be possessed. I realized he wanted metal, so I forbid everything except platinum.

Hung out.

Checking jobs list, realized that a some dwarves were finally carrying out my dump orders for some stuff cluttering up the butcher shop. Sweet! But wait, they're not carrying anything. Huh. And they're heading down to the magma zone. Where I store my bars. The bars are literally 2 tiles away from the dump zone. Chuck, chuck, chuck. OOOPS. I hit D, not F...  Luckily the few that were lost were brass. Nice to remember that this game is so complex.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ascimator on February 15, 2012, 10:00:56 pm
Quote from: Ascimator on February 15, 2012, 04:40:13 am
When I decided to set up the magma forge, had no fuel at the moment and needed another anvil for it. I gave an order and then for some reason instead of waiting for some logs to get hauled in deconstructed the smithery.
The anvil is still to be found. I do not know where that Urist McHauler took it.
I found that thing in the dump.LATE FACEPALM COMBO!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on February 15, 2012, 10:05:06 pm
Quote from: Splint on February 15, 2012, 04:33:55 pm
Quote from: Grax on February 15, 2012, 02:16:43 pm
Quote from: Johuotar on February 15, 2012, 12:45:39 pm
I butchered yak in evil biome and it came alive and killed me dorves.
Ohfck! Is it real?!

Indeed.
Teeth, hair, untanned hides, bones brobably.
Damn near everything will reanimate if it isn't precessed fast enough.

WTF that is ludicrous. Undead need to be nerfed O_O
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sammyboy0120 on February 15, 2012, 10:05:28 pm
So, tried to embark next to a volcano for magma power... Prepped with emphasis on quick mining, brought an abundance of food and timber (due to the lack of forestation), overall heavily dependent on an early metal industry via the magma... And as soon as I embark, there is a cave-in directly underneath the volcano, leading straight down into HFS, at which point not only did I not get the magma power since it flooded into HFS, but after the lava slowed, demons began pouring out. Losing is fun indeed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on February 15, 2012, 10:07:30 pm
Quote from: Splint on February 15, 2012, 07:45:24 pm
Quote from: Niccolo on February 15, 2012, 07:11:23 pm
Quote from: Splint on February 15, 2012, 04:33:55 pm
Quote from: Grax on February 15, 2012, 02:16:43 pm
Quote from: Johuotar on February 15, 2012, 12:45:39 pm
I butchered yak in evil biome and it came alive and killed me dorves.
Ohfck! Is it real?!

Indeed.
Teeth, hair, untanned hides, bones brobably.
Damn near everything will reanimate if it isn't precessed fast enough.

So... Dwarves in terrifying zones are all vegetarians?

I would imagine all thier meat is imported...
Man, I would hate having a piece of jerky slap me around.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aoi on February 15, 2012, 10:37:14 pm
I didn't personally facepalm, but I'm sure somebody did...

"The Dwarves: My Only Mistake was a giant hamster leather-bound book... it concerns the ascension of the dwarf necromancer Udib Sealrewards to the position of queen..."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Azure Sepulchre on February 15, 2012, 11:30:26 pm
Giant Mosquitos, eh? I thought to myself with no small measure of distain; peering down my nose at the triple-digit army spread throughout a dozen z-levels just next to my fledgling fort. Well, if there's that many of them all in one wave and this early, I doubt they pose much of a threat! Militia-Dwarves, go get yourselves some practice against these weaklings! Show them the might of the Children of Armok!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...yeah. Ended about as badly as you'd figure. Didn't even know Dwarves HAD that many limbs. >.> Also yes, yes, I know; bad picture is bad.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on February 15, 2012, 11:33:40 pm
Looks fine to me. And at least you din't have them dropping dead on you. Lost a guard dog to that....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: twilightdusk on February 16, 2012, 02:52:33 am
Quote from: MaximumZero on February 15, 2012, 10:07:30 pm
Quote from: Splint on February 15, 2012, 07:45:24 pm
Quote from: Niccolo on February 15, 2012, 07:11:23 pm
Quote from: Splint on February 15, 2012, 04:33:55 pm
Quote from: Grax on February 15, 2012, 02:16:43 pm
Quote from: Johuotar on February 15, 2012, 12:45:39 pm
I butchered yak in evil biome and it came alive and killed me dorves.
Ohfck! Is it real?!

Indeed.
Teeth, hair, untanned hides, bones brobably.
Damn near everything will reanimate if it isn't precessed fast enough.

So... Dwarves in terrifying zones are all vegetarians?

I would imagine all thier meat is imported...
Man, I would hate having a piece of jerky slap me around.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbPqjZw1pvE
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWdeV on February 16, 2012, 10:53:22 am
Quote from: Azure Sepulchre on February 15, 2012, 11:30:26 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...yeah. Ended about as badly as you'd figure. Didn't even know Dwarves HAD that many limbs. >.> Also yes, yes, I know; bad picture is bad.

This image would be perfectly accurate if you added a few more mosquitoes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ascimator on February 16, 2012, 11:04:01 am
I tried to sacrifice every dwarf to Armok rather that see them falling under the siege, but these motherfuckers just kept running in circles.
 - Yes, I will stand on that bridge and will enjoy this glorious death in the magma... wait, I'm gonna take a bite before I die... fuck no I should be at that burrow right now!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eoganachta on February 16, 2012, 06:51:49 pm
Embarked on a terrifying forest. Use the stone I brought with me to wall off my wagon and make a floor hatch so I had a 1 z-level tower. Started digging down while watching the zombie giant tit-somethings eat everything on the map. Built a up/down stair on the surface so I could build battlements to shoot zombies. I got distracted and some zombies in so I locked the hatch. Thought my fort was safe but forgot that the stairway I'd built on the surface had connected itself to the dug stairs on the z-level below it. They go in and killed everyone.

Started again. Doing the same except there's only ONE way in.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gullydwarf on February 16, 2012, 08:28:18 pm
I didn't think twice about making my Legendary +5 Miner with her Copper Pick a Baroness. I just didn't notice the change in Nobility untill she went berserk and killed two dwarves in a tantrum... I was not on time to meet her demands so she herself went completely crazy and starved herself to death...

Next time I am going to propose the most useless and weak peasant I can find...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beardless on February 16, 2012, 09:39:31 pm
Quote from: Glanzor on February 15, 2012, 07:16:49 pm
My ... dwarves just elected a vampire into the mayor's office. Several weeks after she was found out and convicted for two murders.

I don't know anymore.  :-[

What, did you think that Count Dracula inherited his position? :P

On topic: Didn't check the forum on Valentine's Day. Idly checked my watched threads after work the next day... 20 pages?!?!? Crap, I missed the release, didn't I?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on February 16, 2012, 09:45:26 pm
Quote from: Beardless on February 16, 2012, 09:39:31 pm
Quote from: Glanzor on February 15, 2012, 07:16:49 pm
My ... dwarves just elected a vampire into the mayor's office. Several weeks after she was found out and convicted for two murders.

I don't know anymore.  :-[

What, did you think that Count Dracula inherited his position? :P

On topic: Didn't check the forum on Valentine's Day. Idly checked my watched threads after work the next day... 20 pages?!?!? Crap, I missed the release, didn't I?

Yup.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on February 17, 2012, 02:54:42 am
One: NEW RELEASE??!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D WHERE??!! (FP 1)

Two: Playing with Genesis mod, get sieged by Beastmen when I had 38 dorfs. Win, but go down to 23. After five minutes, I yell "STUFF THIS! TO THE ADAMANTINE VEIN!" But I had forgotten where it was, and it didn't appear on [a] because of the job cancellations (see above: Siege) (FP 2).  I find about three others, NONE WERE HOLLOW! (FP 3) SO i dug down to hell, and let all hell break loose.

I did NOT intend that pun. (FP 4)  ::)

Edit:Demons decimating fort, half of living dwarves severly injured...
A dorf caravan is here! Meh, where be the Brine Devils? Oh, there's one--
The Forgotten Beast Ath Sosmzuzar has come! UGH TOADY YOU MASOCHIST
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ascimator on February 17, 2012, 05:37:36 am
When I ordered my Urist McHunterMilitiaCommander to kill the berserk cook who didn't get his shells, I wondered why was he just punching him. Then I realized that if there is no squad uniform set for the dorf, he will not wear any.
I do not remember if he went and stashed his hunter crossbow or simply decided not to use it. Punched to his death. Good thing I had another ranger.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on February 17, 2012, 10:10:17 am
Quote from: Glanzor on February 15, 2012, 07:16:49 pm
My ... dwarves just elected a vampire into the mayor's office. Several weeks after she was found out and convicted for two murders.

I don't know anymore.  :-[
wow, it's almost as if Dwarfs are little psychopaths. :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on February 17, 2012, 01:23:37 pm
Lost limb will fighting a necromancer, picked it up and beat necromancer to death with it (dual wielded with limb and axe  :D)
But I should have thrown it out the window, because I dropped it, it reanimated, and then killed me
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on February 17, 2012, 04:13:47 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on February 17, 2012, 01:23:37 pm
Lost limb will fighting a necromancer, picked it up and beat necromancer to death with it (dual wielded with limb and axe  :D)
But I should have thrown it out the window, because I dropped it, it reanimated, and then killed me

Would that count as suicide or murder since it was.... y'know, your own arm...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on February 17, 2012, 04:56:30 pm
I had a nice operation set up with magma smelters and forges. Occasionally magma crabs appeared. This one had been shooting at a fisherdwarf really often but now it took a different target. Nish Morulamost, Metalsmith and avid dodger. Yeeeep. He's going into the velcaner. So I tombed him while he's still falling. Blaggard.  ::)


Edit; he left a wife and two passing acquaintances. May he toil in peace in Armok's forge. And may he study in Mishtem's library.


Also, magma-death seems changed. He didn't drown nor did he get combat reports about how the magma is sizzling him. He left a plume of smoke at -156

Magmacrab is named Istamlimul. I wish it meant 'little bitch' rather than 'lightgold.'
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: -Firestar- on February 17, 2012, 07:52:51 pm
New player here, so there's going to be a lot of these.  :P

Started a new fortress because I had exciting new design ideas. Digging... Digging... Digging... Noticed there were spots with really nice things like high value gems, gold and.. some type of rare rock that I forget what it was called. Noticed that walls look exactly like smooth stone, so I dig out the parts of my almost uniformed living area and put in walls that match so I have a color coordinated fortress. How clever is that!

I get to the dining area and find it's nothing but clay. Pretty red clay, but you can't smooth clay so I do my clever little trick and put in pretty walls.

Then I go to engrave them to find.... this is not a feature of this game and I have ruined the entire layout of my fortress. :/
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Captain Mayhem on February 18, 2012, 08:57:44 am
Quote from: Splint on February 17, 2012, 04:13:47 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on February 17, 2012, 01:23:37 pm
Lost limb will fighting a necromancer, picked it up and beat necromancer to death with it (dual wielded with limb and axe  :D)
But I should have thrown it out the window, because I dropped it, it reanimated, and then killed me

Would that count as suicide or murder since it was.... y'know, your own arm...
I can just imagine the necromancer going "Stop hitting yourself! Why are you hitting yourself? Stop hitting yourself!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on February 18, 2012, 09:19:29 am
The guy who dodged magma crab shooting and fell into lava has returned as a ghost (in the lava sea) and I can't slab him. I can slab three others, though, but I never lost those others. ::?

Edit; Nish the dead is now haunting my food stockpile. Hm. What to do?

Edit2; his ghost appearing meant he was no longer thought to be missing at least. And he's disappeared again, too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dr. Melon on February 18, 2012, 11:17:13 am
(http://puu.sh/hom2)

(http://puu.sh/holo)

Tode Terrorballs has been beating the commander for about six months now, with no change in results.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: twilightdusk on February 18, 2012, 11:20:07 am
Quote from: -Firestar- on February 17, 2012, 07:52:51 pm
New player here, so there's going to be a lot of these.  :P

Started a new fortress because I had exciting new design ideas. Digging... Digging... Digging... Noticed there were spots with really nice things like high value gems, gold and.. some type of rare rock that I forget what it was called. Noticed that walls look exactly like smooth stone, so I dig out the parts of my almost uniformed living area and put in walls that match so I have a color coordinated fortress. How clever is that!

I get to the dining area and find it's nothing but clay. Pretty red clay, but you can't smooth clay so I do my clever little trick and put in pretty walls.

Then I go to engrave them to find.... this is not a feature of this game and I have ruined the entire layout of my fortress. :/

Yea, you can't engrave constructed walls, only smoothed rock walls.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yoink on February 18, 2012, 11:34:09 am
Raaaargh! So now you tell me wooden roads can't be built on... So much for my dining room's flooring! :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on February 18, 2012, 12:23:38 pm
Heh. B-C-f for floors. Roads are meant for roads. :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Frost on February 18, 2012, 12:47:43 pm
Lurker emerging, alert alert beep boop lets go.

Face palm moment involved a horse, and my sub-equpied, ill-trained military. The combat reports all show the same thing, page after page of poor dwarves being kicked in the head, until one of the few equipped dwarves got a lucky strike on it's neck until it bled out. The face palm, I had a legendary hunter that could of done it easily without any casualties involved. Keep on forgetting about hunters...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on February 18, 2012, 01:29:47 pm
I just facepalmed after a comical situation involving a horse, a goat and a goblin lasher.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fahgo on February 18, 2012, 05:12:31 pm
Started new fort with the new release. Embarked on a glacier. Got a vampire in a (very large) migrant wave. He killed 3 of my dorfs: the first I had no CotG so no witnesses came forward (despite it happening in the dorms next to the only dining room, just some random kid so no loss). Second time I appointed a CofG and 2 witnesses pointed to Ast Thabostoltar the Blacksmith (his victim was a farmer, no shortage of those). Third time 3 witnesses all pointing to Ast again (my cook from the original 7. Nooo!). So I look in the justice screen and see Ast is the convicted party for 2 of the 3 murders. Figure I'll add that first one as well. Go to convict somebody but forget his name. Hit return to come out, checked the name and went back... only to realise I'd just convicted some random farmer. And you can't change it. oops, should have pressed escape.

In a previous fort, threw a puppy down a volcano to see if I could spot candy. Short while later: "The Stray Puppy (Tame) has been missing for a week". Erm... Yeah. I know where it went. And I doubt it will come back. Surely "thrown down a volcano" doesn't really count as "missing". Can just imagine the dorfs all sat in the dining room, eating their Kitten Tallow Biscuits when Urist pipes up "Hey... haven't seen that puppy for a while. Wonder where it went". The others look at each other then say "Erm... Urist. You threw it down that volcano last week. Muttered something about Candy scouting" "Really? Oh... I wonder why it hasn't come back yet"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on February 18, 2012, 05:56:36 pm
Went to convict a vampire and have my hammerer stove his head in with a silver hammer.
Convicted the victim by mistake, and a tantrum spiral was avertred only by my Expedition Leader liking to help people adn having both consoler and pacifier up to adaquate. I felt absolutly stupid for not paying attention to that.....

The soldiers had a less problem, taking thier frustration out on a few goblin snatchers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uthric on February 18, 2012, 08:08:52 pm
Quote from: Splint on February 18, 2012, 05:56:36 pm
Went to convict a vampire and have my hammerer stove his head in with a silver hammer.
Convicted the victim by mistake, and a tantrum spiral was avertred only by my Expedition Leader liking to help people adn having both consoler and pacifier up to adaquate. I felt absolutly stupid for not paying attention to that.....

The soldiers had a less problem, taking thier frustration out on a few goblin snatchers.


SO, i can Convict nobles now just because? O YEA!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on February 18, 2012, 08:18:00 pm
Quote from: Uthric on February 18, 2012, 08:08:52 pm
Quote from: Splint on February 18, 2012, 05:56:36 pm
Went to convict a vampire and have my hammerer stove his head in with a silver hammer.
Convicted the victim by mistake, and a tantrum spiral was avertred only by my Expedition Leader liking to help people adn having both consoler and pacifier up to adaquate. I felt absolutly stupid for not paying attention to that.....

The soldiers had a less problem, taking thier frustration out on a few goblin snatchers.

So, I can Convict nobles now just because? OH YEAH!

1. Fixed.
2. You can even convict the victim if you feel like it, just to piss off your dwarves. Granted I found that out by mistake, but still.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Badger Beater on February 18, 2012, 09:56:20 pm
In a fort rather low on natural resources, I finally managed to procure some metal bars from the Dwarven caravan, to beef out my battered, overstretched military.

Queue this:

Urist McTrainedinmostmetalworkingskills has been possessed!

I waited in anticipation to see what he'd make. Maybe a fine axe to cleave a goblin's skull, or a helm to withstand even the most brutal assault...

Urist has made Metalwastes, an iron throne!




Yup, you can guess the rest.

The fort was soon ended by a beastman bumrush from below, in my 'vein' attempt to find some schtuff.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on February 18, 2012, 10:29:56 pm
I have not done it, so what does the unhappy thought your dwarves get when you convict the wrong person say?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on February 18, 2012, 10:35:48 pm
Quote from: Vehudur on February 18, 2012, 10:29:56 pm
I have not done it, so what does the unhappy thought your dwarves get when you convict the wrong person say?

Urist McCratfsdorf has been unhappy lately. He was angered by the bizzare conviction of a victim beyond all reason lately

Granted they'd been sleeping on grass or in dorms without thier own rooms, but still.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on February 18, 2012, 10:38:44 pm
Quote from: Splint on February 18, 2012, 10:35:48 pm
Quote from: Vehudur on February 18, 2012, 10:29:56 pm
I have not done it, so what does the unhappy thought your dwarves get when you convict the wrong person say?

Urist McCratfsdorf has been unhappy lately. He was angered by the bizzare conviction of a victim beyond all reason lately

Granted they'd been sleeping on grass or in dorms without thier own rooms, but still.

That is awesome, lol.

Also, I've managed to keep dwarves happy through sleeping in mud for a year due to a flooding accident, so try harder :P

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on February 18, 2012, 10:46:35 pm
Quote from: Vehudur on February 18, 2012, 10:38:44 pm
Quote from: Splint on February 18, 2012, 10:35:48 pm
Quote from: Vehudur on February 18, 2012, 10:29:56 pm
I have not done it, so what does the unhappy thought your dwarves get when you convict the wrong person say?

Urist McCratfsdorf has been unhappy lately. He was angered by the bizzare conviction of a victim beyond all reason lately

Granted they'd been sleeping on grass or in dorms without thier own rooms, but still.

That is awesome, lol.

Also, I've managed to keep dwarves happy through sleeping in mud for a year due to a flooding accident, so try harder :P

Well I've been working a critter I need to finish for a succession game, and the elf blood rain kept pissing them off. They all felt better after they bitch at my expedition leader.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on February 18, 2012, 11:09:17 pm
ElfMcLavad cancels drink:  Dangerous terrain.
ElfMcLavad has bled to death.

Lol.  Oops.  I guess my lava trap works.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pitchblende on February 19, 2012, 12:37:02 am
Accidently killed a innocent miner who had the same first name as a vampire.  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bombzero on February 19, 2012, 01:43:15 am
sat and watched a vampire feeding on a child, went into justice system after someone found the body and convicted him.

3 minutes later i see him in the dining room and realize i forgot to switch the Cotg to a silver hammer instead of a wooden one....


there needs to be a specific action for calling someone a vampire in fortress mode, followed by a sentence of 'beat until dead'
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on February 19, 2012, 01:46:27 am
Quote from: bombzero on February 19, 2012, 01:43:15 am
sat and watched a vampire feeding on a child, went into justice system after someone found the body and convicted him.

3 minutes later i see him in the dining room and realize i forgot to switch the Cotg to a silver hammer instead of a wooden one....


there needs to be a specific action for calling someone a vampire in fortress mode, followed by a sentence of 'beat until dead'

75% of the time it IS beat until dead. Just vampires happen to have really hard heads, even for a dwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on February 19, 2012, 03:15:37 am
There is a rattlesnake in the river under my bridge, NOT DROWNING, and it is scaring all my dwarfs away from building a Trade Depot  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on February 19, 2012, 05:05:27 am
Played as Master Lasher with steel whip in adventure, killed the entire government of a Human nation, as well as several civillians, as they slept in their homes.

Then was ambushed and killed by a pack of wolves  >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: adasdad on February 19, 2012, 10:10:26 am
Quote from: FrisianDude on February 17, 2012, 10:10:17 am
Quote from: Glanzor on February 15, 2012, 07:16:49 pm
My ... dwarves just elected a vampire into the mayor's office. Several weeks after she was found out and convicted for two murders.

I don't know anymore.  :-[
wow, it's almost as if Dwarfs are little psychopaths. :o
you don't say?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on February 19, 2012, 10:15:22 am
Quote from: adasdad on February 19, 2012, 10:10:26 am
Quote from: FrisianDude on February 17, 2012, 10:10:17 am
Quote from: Glanzor on February 15, 2012, 07:16:49 pm
My ... dwarves just elected a vampire into the mayor's office. Several weeks after she was found out and convicted for two murders.

I don't know anymore.  :-[
wow, it's almost as if Dwarfs are little psychopaths. :o
you don't say?

It's very hard not to sig that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on February 19, 2012, 11:22:18 am
I'm starting to dislike magma crabs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bierhaus on February 19, 2012, 11:57:32 am
Quote from: Neruz on April 21, 2009, 01:19:35 am
Deciding to sell a captured Dragon (stored next to my booze stockpile) to the Elves for kicks.

Yeahh.

Haha... Ha... Oh shit...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on February 19, 2012, 09:25:32 pm
Why are all my miners getting thirsty and hungry?... Oh, I've cut them off from the fort with their excavation project.  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dactylos on February 19, 2012, 09:47:39 pm
Just today... embarked on a Evil Savage biome. Finally had a sealed Fortress that was beginning to work.

Migrants arrived... I let them have a chance to run in by unsealing my doors. I made sure to forbid everything outside first so Urist McSuicide wouldnt run out into the HOARDS of zombies.

Migrants all died.

Later, a second wave of migrants arrive. I figure I will give them the same chance... to find that the second I ubar the door all of my dwarves LEAP out of the fortress to go pick up the items on the corpses of the last immigration wave, which are not forbidden.

They all die.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on February 20, 2012, 05:09:13 am
How about designating over 130 z-levels to reach magma, only to have .34 be released the next day with 3d designations...

Compounded by discovering, the day after that, that you can record macros and let them do the work...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on February 20, 2012, 07:34:00 am
definately a double facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ascimator on February 20, 2012, 12:42:39 pm
I embarked on sinister volcano with the intend to die with fun.
Ultimately, I managed to sustain dwarves till autumn - even being sober and losing friends due to that they somehow were ecstatic - but still dying.
With two dorfs left, I buy two barrels of booze and a steel sword with the clothes of the fallen ones, then form a squad (they had some practice on boars) and desperately demand them to attack the caravan.
Somehow one of them kills 2 hammerdorfs and 2 merchants... when I notice something IGNITED THE DEPOT.
And the wooden stuff stock BURNS AS WELL.
But the expedition leader is still alive.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on February 20, 2012, 01:34:32 pm
Quote from: Dactylos on February 19, 2012, 09:47:39 pm
HOARDS
unless the zombies were collectors; HORDES. >:U
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on February 20, 2012, 04:29:17 pm
Quote
How about designating over 130 z-levels to reach magma, only to have .34 be released the next day with 3d designations...
Now you tell me...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ctone on February 20, 2012, 09:44:50 pm
When I first began playing I wanted to see what would happen if i dug into an aquifer.... yeah I lost three fortress that way.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: slay_mithos on February 20, 2012, 10:34:43 pm
Quote from: FrisianDude on February 20, 2012, 01:34:32 pm
Quote from: Dactylos on February 19, 2012, 09:47:39 pm
HOARDS
unless the zombies were collectors; HORDES. >:U
I am pretty sure zombies are dwarves collectors near these fortresses.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on February 20, 2012, 10:37:20 pm
I just watched 3 members of my fortress and my war grizzly bear die to a waterfall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on February 21, 2012, 12:54:08 am
Quote from: Vehudur on February 20, 2012, 10:37:20 pm
I just watched 3 members of my fortress and my war grizzly bear die to a waterfall.
They are pretty vicious...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on February 21, 2012, 01:18:51 am
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on February 21, 2012, 12:54:08 am
Quote from: Vehudur on February 20, 2012, 10:37:20 pm
I just watched 3 members of my fortress and my war grizzly bear die to a waterfall.
They are pretty vicious...

Yes, and the war grizzly bear cost 550 embark points.

*wince*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bombzero on February 21, 2012, 01:26:25 am
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on February 21, 2012, 12:54:08 am
Quote from: Vehudur on February 20, 2012, 10:37:20 pm
I just watched 3 members of my fortress and my war grizzly bear die to a waterfall.
They are pretty vicious...

badger.. waterfall... badger boar.... waterfall..... giant badger boar...... waterfall....... I DONT KNOW WHICH TO CHOOSE.


also fuzzyzergling i cant decide whether the creature your name implies would be cute or abominable.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on February 21, 2012, 01:50:17 am
Quote from: bombzero on February 21, 2012, 01:26:25 am
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on February 21, 2012, 12:54:08 am
Quote from: Vehudur on February 20, 2012, 10:37:20 pm
I just watched 3 members of my fortress and my war grizzly bear die to a waterfall.
They are pretty vicious...

badger.. waterfall... badger boar.... waterfall..... giant badger boar...... waterfall....... I DONT KNOW WHICH TO CHOOSE.


also fuzzyzergling i cant decide whether the creature your name implies would be cute or abominable.

Both.  It would be quite the sight to behold, until it ate you.

...

Also, I just watched the most skilled melee dwarf* in my fortress get headshotted by a lone goblin archer.  Through full adamantine.  Then a fresh recruit walked up and lopped the goblin's head off so hard it landed on a nearby roof.  I facepalmed.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

*25 years of military life got him to this...   He could have been better if I used danger rooms, but I'm not in this fort.  Organic training only, involving 250 dead goblins to his name alone.   Fortunately I have a few more dwarves in his squad that are nearly this good, so this is a bad loss but not crippling.
Superdwarvenly tough
Extremely agile
A few other good traits I can't remember, and delicious combat skills:
+5 Legendary fighter ("Stuff dies if I stare at it.")
+5 Legendary axedwarf (!!! "Here's Johnny!")
+4 Legendary shield user ("Ye think yer so tough don't ye?  Comere an' kiss me shield!")
+5 Legendary dodger ("Dodge this!"  "Ok.")
+2 Legendary armor user ("It's like me second skin."
Grand Master Misc. Object user ("What is this I don't even?"  *throws object*)
Grand Master biter (*chomp*)
High master kicker ("Goblins stop fightn' real quickish if ye kick em hard 'nuff.")
Skilled wrestler (*Menacing growl*)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on February 21, 2012, 02:06:04 am
Quote from: Vehudur on February 21, 2012, 01:50:17 am

Superdwarvenly tough
Extremely agile
A few other good traits I can't remember, and delicious combat skills:
+5 Legendary fighter ("Stuff dies if I stare at it.")
+5 Legendary axedwarf (!!! "Here's Johnny!")
+4 Legendary shield user ("Ye think yer so tough don't ye?  Comere an' kiss me shield!")
+5 Legendary dodger ("Dodge this!"  "Ok.")
+2 Legendary armor user ("It's like me second skin."
Grand Master Misc. Object user ("What is this I don't even?"  *throws object*)
Grand Master biter (*chomp*)
High master kicker ("Goblins stop fightn' real quickish if ye kick em hard 'nuff.")
Skilled wrestler (*Menacing growl*)

What all dwarves aspire to
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on February 21, 2012, 02:26:23 am
Quote from: HugoLuman on February 21, 2012, 02:06:04 am
Quote from: Vehudur on February 21, 2012, 01:50:17 am

Superdwarvenly tough
Extremely agile
A few other good traits I can't remember, and delicious combat skills:
+5 Legendary fighter ("Stuff dies if I stare at it.")
+5 Legendary axedwarf (!!! "Here's Johnny!")
+4 Legendary shield user ("Ye think yer so tough don't ye?  Comere an' kiss me shield!")
+5 Legendary dodger ("Dodge this!"  "Ok.")
+2 Legendary armor user ("It's like me second skin."
Grand Master Misc. Object user ("What is this I don't even?"  *throws object*)
Grand Master biter (*chomp*)
High master kicker ("Goblins stop fightn' real quickish if ye kick em hard 'nuff.")
Skilled wrestler (*Menacing growl*)

What all dwarves aspire to

Indeed.

Also, I have an entire squad listed as "missing" but they were just recruits from a fresh migrant wave so I'm not sure I care much.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on February 21, 2012, 09:12:03 am
At the moment I certainly have one Dwarf missing without even me knowing of his death. And another one who's ghosting around in the lava sea.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: doublestrafe on February 21, 2012, 02:02:56 pm
Brand new .2 fortress. Nice flat woodland next to a sinister volcano, lots of vile ooze rain, totally awesome. By the time I've got 40 dwarves, I've got plenty of food and booze, not much metal dug out yet but I've got the makings of bismuth bronze, some gold and silver veins, and galena. No livestock but a bunch of turkeys around the single hatch door. And then THE DEAD WALK.

Ok, it says to hide, so I hide. I un-pasture the turkeys and they all make a beeline for the dining room, which is fine. Then I lock the door. Necromancers aren't building destroyers, and apparently neither is the were-gila monster that shows up. I'm locked in but I'm safe.

Then I follow someone's advice to safely tap the shaft of the volcano, and it turns out to be bad advice. That's fine, I guess--I lost a legendary miner, but you can always make more of those. I set a couple of good-for-nothings to play in the dirt. Looking above ground, the zombie hordes are all hanging out near the edge of the map, so I don't worry about designating over the tiny murky pool in the way; I'll just build a wall under it to keep my dwarves from being scared if anything wanders by above.

Murky pools have ramps now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Telgin on February 21, 2012, 02:12:08 pm
Quote from: greatorder on February 21, 2012, 03:16:44 am
I'm curious, can you have dorves that are just missing, or would are they always dead?

Unless something has changed, Toady stated that for now if you get a missing notification they're dead.  At least I'm pretty sure that's what he said.

Anyway, face palm moment for me: had a bit of fun with my atomic trash compactor.  I watched my citizens haul crap to it for about a month.  Then I watched it for a little while once they were done, making sure nobody would step into it as I was getting ready to pull the lever.  I give the order.  Naturally, someone beelines for it at that moment and goes splat.

Guess I should have put the compactor in a pit.  Oh well, lesson learned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: narhiril on February 21, 2012, 02:39:40 pm
I decided to give my manager an ego boost, so I commissioned a statue for his office.  My manager is a fairly normal fellow, who just happens to hate rats with an undying passion.

So my troll of a stonemason decided to make a statue of none other than my manager in obsidian, utterly surrounded by rats.  Needless to say, my manager took issue with that looming over him as he worked, so now I need to commission another statue.

This is why I love this game.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gullydwarf on February 21, 2012, 06:08:14 pm
Having my miner being frozen alive because I decided to dig my aquifer plug in my arctic environment from the top down... "Urist McMiner has been missing for 1 week!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on February 21, 2012, 08:12:30 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on February 21, 2012, 02:06:04 am
Quote from: Vehudur on February 21, 2012, 01:50:17 am

Superdwarvenly tough
Extremely agile
A few other good traits I can't remember, and delicious combat skills:
+5 Legendary fighter ("Stuff dies if I stare at it.")
+5 Legendary axedwarf (!!! "Here's Johnny!")
+4 Legendary shield user ("Ye think yer so tough don't ye?  Comere an' kiss me shield!")
+5 Legendary dodger ("Dodge this!"  "Ok.")
+2 Legendary armor user ("It's like me second skin."
Grand Master Misc. Object user ("What is this I don't even?"  *throws object*)
Grand Master biter (*chomp*)
High master kicker ("Goblins stop fightn' real quickish if ye kick em hard 'nuff.")
Skilled wrestler (*Menacing growl*)

What all dwarves aspire to

It's Kcuhc McNorris!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on February 21, 2012, 08:30:49 pm
Quote from: rtg593 on February 21, 2012, 08:12:30 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on February 21, 2012, 02:06:04 am
Quote from: Vehudur on February 21, 2012, 01:50:17 am

Superdwarvenly tough
Extremely agile
A few other good traits I can't remember, and delicious combat skills:
+5 Legendary fighter ("Stuff dies if I stare at it.")
+5 Legendary axedwarf (!!! "Here's Johnny!")
+4 Legendary shield user ("Ye think yer so tough don't ye?  Comere an' kiss me shield!")
+5 Legendary dodger ("Dodge this!"  "Ok.")
+2 Legendary armor user ("It's like me second skin."
Grand Master Misc. Object user ("What is this I don't even?"  *throws object*)
Grand Master biter (*chomp*)
High master kicker ("Goblins stop fightn' real quickish if ye kick em hard 'nuff.")
Skilled wrestler (*Menacing growl*)

What all dwarves aspire to

It's Kcuhc McNorris!

Indeed.  He was one of the most badass dwarves I have ever seen, I would have made a nice story about him if his ending hadn't been so facepalm-worthy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on February 22, 2012, 04:46:03 am
My hammerer has been sentenced to prison time for not making a mandated pick. But he only became 'grey' (as in smith) when I made him a hammerer. He was a jeweler, a bad one, before that. He can't make picks!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drago55577 on February 22, 2012, 04:52:52 am
Quote from: Splint on February 19, 2012, 10:15:22 am
Quote from: adasdad on February 19, 2012, 10:10:26 am
Quote from: FrisianDude on February 17, 2012, 10:10:17 am
Quote from: Glanzor on February 15, 2012, 07:16:49 pm
My ... dwarves just elected a vampire into the mayor's office. Several weeks after she was found out and convicted for two murders.

I don't know anymore.  :-[
wow, it's almost as if Dwarfs are little psychopaths. :o
you don't say?

It's very hard not to sig that.

Sigged

Nvm to big
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on February 22, 2012, 04:53:22 am
Quote from: FrisianDude on February 22, 2012, 04:46:03 am
My hammerer has been sentenced to prison time for not making a mandated pick. But he only became 'grey' (as in smith) when I made him a hammerer. He was a jeweler, a bad one, before that. He can't make picks!

So wait.... the guy in charge of dispensing justice got arrested.... da fuck?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on February 22, 2012, 05:04:28 am
Yeah, I assigned my cmd as captain of the guard so he can arrest the 'miscreant' :P It's just twenty-something days.


Edit1; Aaand now the CMD/Captain is dead. Fuuck. Kicked in the head by a Draltha he tried to pit. He was the second to try to pit it, the first guy let it escape.
Edit2; the melee militia sent to kill the Draltha (Dorenfikuk, Diamondfield) isn't having much trouble with it but one of the Swordsdwarfs tumbled into the pit. He's alive, a bit broken, but alive. Now I have to open the floodgate to the pit and hope my (ex-cmd and) manager who is cmd again can set him right.
Edit3; a previously pitted capybara is munching on the swordsdwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on February 22, 2012, 11:19:08 am
a waterfall is killing all my fun. It's killed several thieves and snatchers, a were beast and now a goblin ambush.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: adasdad on February 22, 2012, 05:16:45 pm
Quote from: drago55577 on February 22, 2012, 04:52:52 am
Quote from: Splint on February 19, 2012, 10:15:22 am
Quote from: adasdad on February 19, 2012, 10:10:26 am
Quote from: FrisianDude on February 17, 2012, 10:10:17 am
Quote from: Glanzor on February 15, 2012, 07:16:49 pm
My ... dwarves just elected a vampire into the mayor's office. Several weeks after she was found out and convicted for two murders.

I don't know anymore.  :-[
wow, it's almost as if Dwarfs are little psychopaths. :o
you don't say?

It's very hard not to sig that.

Sigged

Nvm to big
couldn't you just get the little psychopaths/ you don't say? that would be what i would sig... speaking of which...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: slay_mithos on February 22, 2012, 07:07:00 pm
Just now, setting up a danger room because I had no dwarf able to take on anything, and after a few injuries directly sutured at the hospital, one get his throat pierced and dies before anyone can do anything.

They only lacked boots and gauntlets, because I didn't have enough to make a full equipment.

I first facepalmed, thinking I had set up too much training spear or too high quality, but no, one spear, at most "+".

On the plus side, I get to entomb a dwarf that didn't get killed by giant bees. On the minus side, I cant' use those rooms until I find out why the safest training mode became lethal...

EDIT:

It appears that it was a "hidden" (as in 'not written in change log')feature of Masterwork that I am using. He made the training spears more piercing, meaning I can also use them in actual pitting battle now...

Ok then, back to the normal sparring I guess, it will only take me 10 years to reach something that can actually fight with the base I have, but that's still better than killing them all in danger room.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Samuel on February 22, 2012, 09:34:27 pm
Its easier to tell a dwarf to deconstruct a table, dig the floor out from underneath an owned piece of rotten food, rebuild the floor over the piece of food, then replace the table, then it is to tell them to move the thing out of the dining hall so it stops filling the place with miasma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on February 23, 2012, 12:28:55 am
Quote from: slay_mithos on February 22, 2012, 07:07:00 pm
Just now, setting up a danger room because I had no dwarf able to take on anything, and after a few injuries directly sutured at the hospital, one get his throat pierced and dies before anyone can do anything.

They only lacked boots and gauntlets, because I didn't have enough to make a full equipment.

I first facepalmed, thinking I had set up too much training spear or too high quality, but no, one spear, at most "+".

On the plus side, I get to entomb a dwarf that didn't get killed by giant bees. On the minus side, I cant' use those rooms until I find out why the safest training mode became lethal...

EDIT:

It appears that it was a "hidden" (as in 'not written in change log')feature of Masterwork that I am using. He made the training spears more piercing, meaning I can also use them in actual pitting battle now...

Ok then, back to the normal sparring I guess, it will only take me 10 years to reach something that can actually fight with the base I have, but that's still better than killing them all in danger room.

Well.... On the thread for that mod... He did say not to make a danger room... Then immediately reiterated it by saying seriously, don't, the training weapons are significantly stronger, they will kill. :P

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

So I decide to cheat a bit, and use Therapist to quickly nickname every dwarf with "nn" (cuz it's quick to type). I go into DF to see which ones are vampires, cuz I keep losing dwarves. At the bottom of the list, I find 6 children and 9 babies, all without nicknames. I think, holy crap, I have a bunch of vampire kids!

I begin writing a post, basically asking if vampire kid/babies is possible, stating the above, as well as the fact that one 7-year-old little girl is a LEGENDARY stonecrafter... As well as being the daughter of Kib BITEMERCHANT (seriously, is there a better vampire alias? :p)... As I'm moving the mouse to the post button, it occurs to me...

I have children/babies hidden in Dwarf Therapist.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ascimator on February 23, 2012, 03:23:46 am
When I traded all of my crafts for a few stacks of berries because of mispressing.
Worse? THEY ARE ELVES.
P.S. Screw it, I'll just seize stuff from them.
New objective: magma obtaining.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reudh on February 23, 2012, 03:50:34 am
I had a dwarf go fey.

He wandered around until I built a leather workshop. He claimed it and sat there.
I hurriedly ordered a horse to be butchered and its skin tanned; he took two steps towards it and went melancholy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: slay_mithos on February 23, 2012, 06:14:10 am
Quote from: rtg593 on February 23, 2012, 12:28:55 am
Well.... On the thread for that mod... He did say not to make a danger room... Then immediately reiterated it by saying seriously, don't, the training weapons are significantly stronger, they will kill. :P
Yeah, I have been told that after posting, but the thing is that he encourages doing it in the documentation that comes with the mod, saying that some consider that over powered as dwarves level very fast.
I should have known that a guy that makes plants grow slower, metal smiting take multiple bars, dangerous mining and other stuff like this would not be in favour of such methods, but that hurts when you find it the hard way.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jackolantirn on February 23, 2012, 06:15:12 am
First time playing DF.

When the dwarf caravan arrives right before winter of the 20th year, a goblin crossbow ambush is revealed. I send my dwarf army to kill the goblins before they hurt the caravan. They get preoccupied by my pastured capybaras and a couple stray dwarfs, so my military engages them before they engage the dwarf caravan.
While my dwarfs are fighting topside, a forgotten beast spawns in the underground caverns and paths into my fortress.

Fortunately, after 15 years I finally had some of my dwarfs trained so well with the crossbow that they made quick work of the goblins with the masterfully crafted iron bolts that my +20 weapon smith had been creating. Dealt with the goblins so quickly that my dwarfs still managed to get back in time to stop the forgotten beast as it walked up the stairs to the floor where I had all my workshops. It took forever to kill the forgotten beast, it being made of some sort of rock and all, apparently... It wasn't until all my military dwarfs and war dogs had surrounded the beast that a bronze pick came out of nowhere and beheaded the monster!
I had only lost 2 dwarfs to the goblins, and then I received a message where one dwarf bled to death. Went from 193 dwarfs to 190. "Not bad," I thought.

Looking through the report of the dwarf that bled, I wondered what it meant by "caught in a cloud of forgotten beast boiling extract!"

And then I saw all the reports ending with "caught in a cloud of forgotten beast boiling extract!"
And then I was swarmed with messages of dwarfs and war dogs bleeding to death. I lost almost all my dwarf population! TT
I guess that's what the announcement meant by "beware of it's poisonous vapors" is suppose to mean.

I think... Time to abandon fortress and update to the newest dwarf version. ^^;;
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: slay_mithos on February 23, 2012, 08:34:12 am
It's me again, this time more a "what the hell" than a face palm, I guess, but still...

Starting a new fortress, flat land, only a little soil for the farms, but a brook so no problem for putting mud where I want.

After a minute or so, just the time to dig some farm plots and a basic food storage:
"Ersuh Lelumthikut, expedition leader is throwing a tantrum!"
Wait, what? It's only the 9th Slate, nobody died, what happened?

It appears that he didn't like an other of the 7 starting dwarves, and as they both had nothing to do before my miner dug a little, they were "forced to talk" to each other, and took a heavy rain from the starting day.
He punches a cow, a chicken, no injury for anyone, he calms down.

I build a fast table, chair and some beds, place them where I can, to at least not make them more miserable.

On the 3rd Felsite, meaning merely a month after having embarked:
"Sodel kol, Gem cutter is stricken by melancholy!"
It appears that this dwarf was in even worse condition, as his hated one was the leader.

So, in a month and two days, I have one dwarf that will die soon, and one that is likely to cause problems until I can get something to satisfy him (legendary bedroom, anything)

Ok, dwarves, you didn't choose the right wagon to jump in, the fort is cancelled, you can all go back home now!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Terratoch on February 23, 2012, 03:35:56 pm
Found an excellent site with a river and everything I wanted. River had a 1 tile wide land fall on the other side.
Migration wave comes... on the other side of the river. -.-;

Build a road of floor from my side to the other side of the river.
They aren't crossing. What, my road bridge isn't good enough for you?

Okay, fine. I build a paved road and wall both sides. Still idling about.
Now they start starving and thirsting to death. What the hell?

Then I notice the tree blocking their path to the road.

 >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Castamere on February 23, 2012, 05:19:26 pm
My Carpenter/Mechanic ran all over the map with a giant bushtit corpse going right after him
He distracted it while my dorfs pulled all the food and wood inside
And actually escaped from a giant zobie bird and dashed into the fort like a baws and sealed it right after
So it was Facepalm--->fuck yeah
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on February 23, 2012, 07:39:36 pm
My siege-operating crew all killed each other during firing, except for one dwarf, because they kept walking in front of the Ballistae.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Clutzy on February 23, 2012, 07:48:04 pm
After two crashes on a very large map with lots of high things I decided on a short history. I was very excited as I'd been waiting on the Lazy Newb Pack to come out before I played. In the meantime I read the forums. Sadly I concentrated on the wrong things. I got my usual embark (though a little cooler than I prefer) and noticed it had a lovely, giant waterfall a little to the left. You...you see where I'm going with this right?

All but my Miners had died. Then the Expediation Leader had decided to start a fight with the other one. APALMdoned NaturalMirrors. Let's try this again!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flying Dice on February 23, 2012, 11:22:01 pm
Gen more than 50 worlds to find a 4x4 embark with flux, a sedimentary layer at the surface, and a major river. Start digging. Realize that you forgot to remove [AQUIFER] tag from sandstone. Use dfreveal, discover that ~12 z levels are solid sandstone.


FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on February 24, 2012, 12:35:55 am
Quote from: Flying Dice on February 23, 2012, 11:22:01 pm
Gen more than 50 worlds to find a 4x4 embark with flux, a sedimentary layer at the surface, and a major river. Start digging. Realize that you forgot to remove [AQUIFER] tag from sandstone. Use dfreveal, discover that ~12 z levels are solid sandstone.


FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Looks like you got some fun digging/pumping ahead of you:p at least it can be done, but ya, that sucks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MetalHead on February 24, 2012, 01:13:37 am
Just happened 5 minutes ago:

For some reason a couple years ago my mayor with pretty decent social skills was ousted by a random immigrant with no other skills except Novice Liar and Dabbling Macedwarf.  I didn't notice the change until the clever bastard put in a request for obsidian crafts; as I'm pretty sure everyone knows by now replacing an offending noble isnt enough to remove the mandate, and so a random glassmaker was blamed a couple months later.  I thought 'no big deal'.

Fast forward to just now: my latest dwarven caravan arrived and was about to my gates when my puppy sentries reported 3 squads of ambushers at my borders.  I sent my mid-sized military (24 for a 95-dwarf fortress) to stand just beyond the fort-side entrance to my entryway slaughterhouse and wait despite several members complaining of long patrol duties, minor cave adaptation, and the rain.  The goblins never got in, with the last weapon trap jamming up with the last goblin who wasn't crawling away with his legs cut off (Large Serrated Discs are a Dwarf's Best Friend >:)) and the merchants had brought along everything I wanted especially after my broker did his usual 'imma go take a hike for no reason until the caravan leaves' business last year.  In other words, I was loving the sudden influx of goodies, bloodshed, and a handful of caged goblins for "Live Fire Exercises".

Then I get the message that the supposedly offensive glassmaker from before got gutted by my pissed-off captain of the guard who can't tell the difference between a beating and a stabbing.

Moral of the Story: Regardless of who has the highest military skill in your fort or who actually DESERVES the title, DO NOT put a Speardwarf in that office... unless of course you like senseless bloodshed coating your hallways with gore.

Worst Part: the bastard who made the crazy mandate is friends with nearly everyone in the fort, so I can't toss him outside for the elephants to go Boatmurdered on his ass.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reudh on February 24, 2012, 01:17:32 am
The young farmer failed his mood and went melancholy.

Our wounded miner has been found dead... I suspect a vampire. :P

Massive population surge, bringing our population from 27 to 61.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on February 24, 2012, 01:05:51 pm
I embark at the meeting point of 3 rivers, 1 having a nice waterfall.

Well, one of the turkeys I took along ended up at the bottom, so I think, oh dear... best take care of this... I designate restricted on the river waaaay back, high traffic along the river waaay back, hoping they get the hint and not jump in...

My fisher and mason drown at the bottom.

Ok, I'll build a bridge a bit back.

5 more drown at the bottom.

Guess everyone needs to savescum sometime:p
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flying Dice on February 24, 2012, 01:06:06 pm
Quote from: rtg593 on February 24, 2012, 12:35:55 am
Quote from: Flying Dice on February 23, 2012, 11:22:01 pm
Gen more than 50 worlds to find a 4x4 embark with flux, a sedimentary layer at the surface, and a major river. Start digging. Realize that you forgot to remove [AQUIFER] tag from sandstone. Use dfreveal, discover that ~12 z levels are solid sandstone.


FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Looks like you got some fun digging/pumping ahead of you:p at least it can be done, but ya, that sucks.

Yeah, not going to bother doing a breach that extensive for my first fortress after a fairly substantial break.  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Azure Sepulchre on February 24, 2012, 03:26:43 pm
One of my dwarves (a cheese maker, I believe, that I was grooming for a military position) turned out to be a necromancer, of all bloody things. Who knew? I mean, hell, I figured I'd occasionally have to deal with a vampire at best. Well, anyway, trade caravan showed up and filled him fulla arrows when he tried to start shit. Hit him so many times, his body was propelled into my moat. If it ended here, I'd have no problem. But, since he was still technically a member of my fortress, things started getting silly. Then annoyingly silly. Then hilariously silly.

See, since I couldn't get into the moat to fetch his corpse for burial, his evil necromancer ghost came back in a little bit of a bad mood. Kept bringing back his old corpse under the water. This was more or less harmless since the poor zombie was trapped down there - me having pre-emptively removed all but two of the ramps leading out of it and those two impossible to access - and the necro-ghost seemed rather obsessed with hanging out with its bloated zombie corpse, scaring the Armok out of any fisherdwarves that passed by on their way to work. Eventually the corpse would 'drown' (I know, right?) and the ghost would bring it back. This cycle continued for quite some time.

Until the corpse was reduced to nothing more than a decayed skeleton. Then the necro-ghost got fuckin' serious, in the most amusing way possible. He went to the fishery (which had been actively working for half a decade, bringing in mussels) and brought back as many mussel shells as he possibly could, numbering into the hundreds. These ZOMBIE MUSSEL SHELLS then went on a total rampage throughout my fortress (fishery was built inside the walls of my fort), slaughtering every single living thing they encountered, including my 10 expert-level militia-men equipped in steel plate and similar weapons, and 40 other dwarves enlisted as wrestlers. My fort laid low by a single-minded mass of undead crustaceans and their necro-ghost master who guides them from my moat.

Honestly, not even mad. How can I possibly get mad at such an amazingly insane defeat?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on February 24, 2012, 04:30:05 pm
Quote from: Azure Sepulchre on February 24, 2012, 03:26:43 pm
One of my dwarves (a cheese maker, I believe, that I was grooming for a military position) turned out to be a necromancer, of all bloody things. Who knew? I mean, hell, I figured I'd occasionally have to deal with a vampire at best. Well, anyway, trade caravan showed up and filled him fulla arrows when he tried to start shit. Hit him so many times, his body was propelled into my moat. If it ended here, I'd have no problem. But, since he was still technically a member of my fortress, things started getting silly. Then annoyingly silly. Then hilariously silly.

See, since I couldn't get into the moat to fetch his corpse for burial, his evil necromancer ghost came back in a little bit of a bad mood. Kept bringing back his old corpse under the water. This was more or less harmless since the poor zombie was trapped down there - me having pre-emptively removed all but two of the ramps leading out of it and those two impossible to access - and the necro-ghost seemed rather obsessed with hanging out with its bloated zombie corpse, scaring the Armok out of any fisherdwarves that passed by on their way to work. Eventually the corpse would 'drown' (I know, right?) and the ghost would bring it back. This cycle continued for quite some time.

Until the corpse was reduced to nothing more than a decayed skeleton. Then the necro-ghost got fuckin' serious, in the most amusing way possible. He went to the fishery (which had been actively working for half a decade, bringing in mussels) and brought back as many mussel shells as he possibly could, numbering into the hundreds. These ZOMBIE MUSSEL SHELLS then went on a total rampage throughout my fortress (fishery was built inside the walls of my fort), slaughtering every single living thing they encountered, including my 10 expert-level militia-men equipped in steel plate and similar weapons, and 40 other dwarves enlisted as wrestlers. My fort laid low by a single-minded mass of undead crustaceans and their necro-ghost master who guides them from my moat.

Honestly, not even mad. How can I possibly get mad at such an amazingly insane defeat?

*clap...clap...clap*

that is one of the funniest things iv heard in a long time
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on February 24, 2012, 05:21:46 pm
One of my militia captains just lost his hand to a goblin master thief with a silver dagger who was unreasonably more skilled in fighting than I anticipated. I should have just left him as target practice, but I decided to speed it up due to a collapse elsewhere.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on February 24, 2012, 06:18:45 pm
Quote from: bukitodinos on February 24, 2012, 04:30:05 pm
Quote from: Azure Sepulchre on February 24, 2012, 03:26:43 pm
One of my dwarves (a cheese maker, I believe, that I was grooming for a military position) turned out to be a necromancer, of all bloody things. Who knew? I mean, hell, I figured I'd occasionally have to deal with a vampire at best. Well, anyway, trade caravan showed up and filled him fulla arrows when he tried to start shit. Hit him so many times, his body was propelled into my moat. If it ended here, I'd have no problem. But, since he was still technically a member of my fortress, things started getting silly. Then annoyingly silly. Then hilariously silly.

See, since I couldn't get into the moat to fetch his corpse for burial, his evil necromancer ghost came back in a little bit of a bad mood. Kept bringing back his old corpse under the water. This was more or less harmless since the poor zombie was trapped down there - me having pre-emptively removed all but two of the ramps leading out of it and those two impossible to access - and the necro-ghost seemed rather obsessed with hanging out with its bloated zombie corpse, scaring the Armok out of any fisherdwarves that passed by on their way to work. Eventually the corpse would 'drown' (I know, right?) and the ghost would bring it back. This cycle continued for quite some time.

Until the corpse was reduced to nothing more than a decayed skeleton. Then the necro-ghost got fuckin' serious, in the most amusing way possible. He went to the fishery (which had been actively working for half a decade, bringing in mussels) and brought back as many mussel shells as he possibly could, numbering into the hundreds. These ZOMBIE MUSSEL SHELLS then went on a total rampage throughout my fortress (fishery was built inside the walls of my fort), slaughtering every single living thing they encountered, including my 10 expert-level militia-men equipped in steel plate and similar weapons, and 40 other dwarves enlisted as wrestlers. My fort laid low by a single-minded mass of undead crustaceans and their necro-ghost master who guides them from my moat.

Honestly, not even mad. How can I possibly get mad at such an amazingly insane defeat?

*clap...clap...clap*

that is one of the funniest things iv heard in a long time

^^^ this. Lol, that is so awesome. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on February 24, 2012, 08:03:22 pm
I had a recruit pass out due to pain on a weapon trap containing 10 masterwork adamantine serrated discs.

Picture how that ended.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: werty892 on February 24, 2012, 09:29:40 pm
Quote from: Azure Sepulchre on February 24, 2012, 03:26:43 pm
One of my dwarves (a cheese maker, I believe, that I was grooming for a military position) turned out to be a necromancer, of all bloody things. Who knew? I mean, hell, I figured I'd occasionally have to deal with a vampire at best. Well, anyway, trade caravan showed up and filled him fulla arrows when he tried to start shit. Hit him so many times, his body was propelled into my moat. If it ended here, I'd have no problem. But, since he was still technically a member of my fortress, things started getting silly. Then annoyingly silly. Then hilariously silly.

See, since I couldn't get into the moat to fetch his corpse for burial, his evil necromancer ghost came back in a little bit of a bad mood. Kept bringing back his old corpse under the water. This was more or less harmless since the poor zombie was trapped down there - me having pre-emptively removed all but two of the ramps leading out of it and those two impossible to access - and the necro-ghost seemed rather obsessed with hanging out with its bloated zombie corpse, scaring the Armok out of any fisherdwarves that passed by on their way to work. Eventually the corpse would 'drown' (I know, right?) and the ghost would bring it back. This cycle continued for quite some time.

Until the corpse was reduced to nothing more than a decayed skeleton. Then the necro-ghost got fuckin' serious, in the most amusing way possible. He went to the fishery (which had been actively working for half a decade, bringing in mussels) and brought back as many mussel shells as he possibly could, numbering into the hundreds. These ZOMBIE MUSSEL SHELLS then went on a total rampage throughout my fortress (fishery was built inside the walls of my fort), slaughtering every single living thing they encountered, including my 10 expert-level militia-men equipped in steel plate and similar weapons, and 40 other dwarves enlisted as wrestlers. My fort laid low by a single-minded mass of undead crustaceans and their necro-ghost master who guides them from my moat.

Honestly, not even mad. How can I possibly get mad at such an amazingly insane defeat?

Totally sigging this
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on February 24, 2012, 09:48:26 pm
Quote from: Azure Sepulchre on February 24, 2012, 03:26:43 pm
One of my dwarves (a cheese maker, I believe, that I was grooming for a military position) turned out to be a necromancer, of all bloody things. Who knew? I mean, hell, I figured I'd occasionally have to deal with a vampire at best. Well, anyway, trade caravan showed up and filled him fulla arrows when he tried to start shit. Hit him so many times, his body was propelled into my moat. If it ended here, I'd have no problem. But, since he was still technically a member of my fortress, things started getting silly. Then annoyingly silly. Then hilariously silly.

See, since I couldn't get into the moat to fetch his corpse for burial, his evil necromancer ghost came back in a little bit of a bad mood. Kept bringing back his old corpse under the water. This was more or less harmless since the poor zombie was trapped down there - me having pre-emptively removed all but two of the ramps leading out of it and those two impossible to access - and the necro-ghost seemed rather obsessed with hanging out with its bloated zombie corpse, scaring the Armok out of any fisherdwarves that passed by on their way to work. Eventually the corpse would 'drown' (I know, right?) and the ghost would bring it back. This cycle continued for quite some time.

Until the corpse was reduced to nothing more than a decayed skeleton. Then the necro-ghost got fuckin' serious, in the most amusing way possible. He went to the fishery (which had been actively working for half a decade, bringing in mussels) and brought back as many mussel shells as he possibly could, numbering into the hundreds. These ZOMBIE MUSSEL SHELLS then went on a total rampage throughout my fortress (fishery was built inside the walls of my fort), slaughtering every single living thing they encountered, including my 10 expert-level militia-men equipped in steel plate and similar weapons, and 40 other dwarves enlisted as wrestlers. My fort laid low by a single-minded mass of undead crustaceans and their necro-ghost master who guides them from my moat.

Honestly, not even mad. How can I possibly get mad at such an amazingly insane defeat?
That's amazing. Truly amazing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flying Dice on February 25, 2012, 12:02:16 am
First migrant wave, includes 2 large families. 12 migrants, 7 of whom are children. One of the adults has no skills beyond basic military ones (macedwarf, at that), another is a low-skill military dwarf, but is a great carpenter, bowyer, and woodcutter to make up for it. One is a glazer, but makes up for it by being a fairly good marksdwarf. The others are completely useless hauler bait.


So yeah, large family WTF now. At least the brats can gather food, and if I'm lucky, one of them might mood.


Edit: Wave 2: 4/7 are children. -_________________________________________________________-

11/26 of my dwarves are useless children. Crap, but these early years are going to be hell. Funnily enough, the three adults were a cook and a pair of fishery workers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on February 25, 2012, 05:33:37 am
Quote from: Vehudur on February 24, 2012, 08:03:22 pm
I had a recruit pass out due to pain on a weapon trap containing 10 masterwork adamantine serrated discs.

Picture how that ended.
Mince. Poor bugger. In my latest cave-in one of my Dwarfs was LUCKY though. Only got dusted onto a cage trap (and caught), no wounds at all.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on February 25, 2012, 02:47:15 pm
Quote from: FrisianDude on February 25, 2012, 05:33:37 am
Quote from: Vehudur on February 24, 2012, 08:03:22 pm
I had a recruit pass out due to pain on a weapon trap containing 10 masterwork adamantine serrated discs.

Picture how that ended.
Mince. Poor bugger. In my latest cave-in one of my Dwarfs was LUCKY though. Only got dusted onto a cage trap (and caught), no wounds at all.

I wish he'd fallen onto a cage trap instead.

Mince doesn't even begin to describe it, part of one of his legs ended up 10z up on a ledge.

The good news is the row of 10 weapon traps each containing 10 ☼Large, Adamantine Serrated Disc☼ do just as much damage against ambushes.

I have roofed that passage over in the meantime so that body parts would stop landing across half the fortress.  Originally it was designed for archers to shoot down into it also, but it's become pretty clear that is...  not needed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on February 25, 2012, 04:22:39 pm
Accidentally threw my ≡*Adamantine Battle Axe*≡ into magma in adventure.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ascimator on February 25, 2012, 04:45:04 pm
Built a drawbridge across the river. Time to test it. Urist McRandom, PULL THE LEVER!
Sploosh, there goes Urist McExpeditionFisherdwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tryrar on February 25, 2012, 05:10:20 pm
I was busy digging out my sheriff's quarters, when I get a sudden damp stone located warning. I say to myself "now that can't be right, I removed all aquifers. This game HAS to be glitching". So I ignore the warning and keep digging...and strike some puddingstone and yup, an aquifer. I forgot pudding stone does carry aquifers, AND it's found in inorganic_mineral(which I didn't bother with), not inorganic_stone_layer  :(. Fortunately, the was near the bottom of my fort, and I hadn't dug very deep, so it was no trouble to reroute my main staircase (though this did mean intruding on the caverns briefly)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: draco1234 on February 25, 2012, 06:28:26 pm
My latest fort has been one disaster after another  :P

It started minor at first, like accidentally channeling my legendary miner to his death, which also resulted in him bloodying my water supply.  Then, a forgotten beast arrived, and things went from bad from worse.  The beast in question had deadly dust, so i was wary of facing it in direct combat.  So I decided to send in my expendable squad of marksdwarfs to kill it.  It was only when they started to try and beat it to death with their wooden crossbows that i realised I had forgotten to assign them any bolts  ::)  Suprisingly, the marksdwarves were actually killing it, but that changed when it let off its dust.  For about 20 seconds nothing happened, and i tohught i'd gotten off easy.  I was wrong.  After those 20 seconds, i noticed one of my dwarves was generating miasma.  Then another, and another, until they all were.  Roughly ten seconds after this, they all dropped down dead of blood loss.  Great.  As i was thinking of a new plan to kill it, i noticed more deaths appearing on my screen, non military.  I then remembered that i had forgot to assign the civilians to the emergency burrow when it arrived, so i currently had an army of dwarves making a beeline for the dead dwarves and equipment  :o   The only thing that saved me from complete disaster was that one of the haulers was my awesome 90 kill migrant wrestler man, who managed to scratch the beast in half before succumbing to blood loss.  All in all, i lost over 25 dwarves in that disaster, though I am beginning to recover (for now)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on February 25, 2012, 08:11:28 pm
I decided to assign some War Beasts (Dogs, Elephant, Jaguar) to my Commander. I went to the [v]>Prf page of the elephant and it said:
"This animal is waiting for conflict"
"Ready for Slaughter [N]"
I set Ready for Slaughter to [Y] and before I knew it:

The Stray war Elephant (Tame) has been slaughtered

 >:(   :-[   :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on February 25, 2012, 09:09:39 pm
Human Civ Name: Durr Rope
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on February 26, 2012, 01:07:23 am
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on February 25, 2012, 08:11:28 pm
I decided to assign some War Beasts (Dogs, Elephant, Jaguar) to my Commander. I went to the [v]>Prf page of the elephant and it said:
"This animal is waiting for conflict"
"Ready for Slaughter [N]"
I set Ready for Slaughter to [Y] and before I knew it:

The Stray war Elephant (Tame) has been slaughtered

 >:(   :-[   :'(

Thought it meant "ready to slaughter" didn't you?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: slay_mithos on February 26, 2012, 01:41:21 am
Why, just why are the sieges way weaker than ambushes?

An ambush is capable of defeating a whole 6 armed dwarves caravan + a 5 Steel armoured army, putting the whole fort into a state of "let's all go mad together, possibly killing each others".
3 months later, a two squads ambush comes, nobody wants to pull the lever that closes the main bridge. The whole fort is now being protected by a short corridor, 3 wide, with two rows of cages and only two weapon traps, only with a few crappy weapons in them.
The two squad leaders manage to get captured and their whole army just stay near the cages. Fortunately for them a tantruming dwarf comes their way, and some comes after him, begining the wipe out of the whole population, that tries to resist with the few weapons and armours I have for them.
The battle let 5 dwarves in the hospital, a baby and a child in the main room, and a massive amount of animals, including a horse that the only remaining invader have been following for 5 months now, not managing to do real damages, and runing in circles around the fort.

Soon, the baby and the "injured" (two only had light injuries and would have been perfectly fine working) starve and dehydrate to death.
In the mean time, the child drink the reserve of booze and eat food, in quantities sufficient to last two years at least, and the chickens reproduce so much that there are many of them everywhere in the fort, like they were the inhabitants.

Why can't I have a fort wiped out at least once when it doesn't involves me actively doing it? (flood, magma...)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on February 26, 2012, 02:38:58 am
"Wait, it says my kitchen area doesn't have access to a millstone? Also, why is everybody in that burrow throwing a tantrum?"
...
"Well, it looks like your down stair...  8) is actually an up stair. (YEAAAAAHHHHH!)"

Duh. Feeling so stupid right now.

(Previously, everybody just went in and out through the unfinished refuse stockpile roof. After it was completed, however...)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on February 26, 2012, 02:49:26 am
I have a goblin hammerman trapped but causing job cancelation spam...

HOW DID HE DODGE UP two z-levels to land on that ledge?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on February 26, 2012, 03:22:33 am
Quote from: Vehudur on February 26, 2012, 02:49:26 am
I have a goblin hammerman trapped but causing job cancelation spam...

HOW DID HE DODGE UP two z-levels to land on that ledge?
Bug. A creature can rush and dodge upwards if done properly and only if under attack.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on February 26, 2012, 03:35:16 am
Make him dodge a cloud of bolts this time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: miauw62 on February 26, 2012, 08:17:43 am
Quote from: FrisianDude on February 26, 2012, 03:35:16 am
Make him dodge a cloud of bolts this time.

After digging a deep moat.
around him.
dont spill Armoks second favorite liquid on him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Stuball on February 26, 2012, 10:11:16 am
I had just embarked on a new fortress and, as it was the middle of winter, the rivers were frozen over and all the ground was covered in snow. Once spring arrived, the snow melted and the rivers returned to normal. The issue came with the placement of my wagon upon embarking directly on the currently frozen river, due to the snow covering the frozen river I was completely unaware that there even was a river below me and pretty much exactly when spring arrived, everything melted, leaving my still fully stocked wagon to fall into the river.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nightwhips on February 26, 2012, 12:45:08 pm
15 dwarves.

Guys! Water Buffalo Bull Corpses! Aiii!!!!

Militia: no prob guys, we handled that one of ours that turned after the anaconda attack, we've taken out harpy corpses, eagle corpses, this is no big [SPLAT]!

[SPLAT][SPLAT]

Those were our three best dudes, man. Dude.

Send the marksdwarf!!!!

[SPL...] Wait, helmet bug! Three water buffalo corpses are stamping his bismuth bronze barriered skull, three feet from the fortress entrance!!!

5 minutes later, no change...

Your fortress has been abandoned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on February 26, 2012, 07:44:58 pm
Quote
Quote
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on February 25, 2012, 08:11:28 pm

I decided to assign some War Beasts (Dogs, Elephant, Jaguar) to my Commander. I went to the [v]>Prf page of the elephant and it said:
"This animal is waiting for conflict"
"Ready for Slaughter [N]"
I set Ready for Slaughter to [Y] and before I knew it:

The Stray war Elephant (Tame) has been slaughtered
 >:(  :-[  :'(

       




Thought it meant "ready to slaughter" didn't you?

Just a bit.

Also, Caverns 2 and 3 are dry. No magma  :'(
Edit: Excepting the sea.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on February 27, 2012, 10:10:36 am
Digging a channel so the well running off the aquifer is providing clean water drawn from the second z-level, only to realize you opened the aquifer directly above you smelter in doing so.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on February 27, 2012, 12:56:16 pm
Notice some of my dwarves are hungry, and can't figure out why. There are like, 200 eggs!

Eggs can't be eaten raw.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on February 27, 2012, 01:27:30 pm
I just lost 20 dwarves, including 9 military because A) I forgot to set the civilian alert, and B) I forgot to have my marksdwarves move into firing position.  Oh, well, my fort is otherwise going well.  Well this is the reclaim I made after goblins killed 60 dwarves(they got chased off by my two hunters).  And my magma works killed two dwarves setting up, one of whom is still ghosting around.  I don't know what to do about him.  He is just floating in the magma.  And his body burned, so I don't know if I could even slab him if anybody saw him.  All this as a fort dedicated to churning out steel armor for future adventurers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: slay_mithos on February 27, 2012, 06:00:13 pm
Just lost 10 dwarf to carps.

Just that is not much (even if it's half of my population), but the fact I lost them in the dining room is a little more strange.

Oh, I forgot to build some fortification in the path the water follows to get to my dining room from the river...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: the_game_hunt on February 27, 2012, 07:39:24 pm
I exidently atom-smashed my legendary stone crafter

Now, who will make my large stone pots?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wolfy on February 27, 2012, 08:07:18 pm
So there I was after so long of not making it to the traders before I had fun. Elf's came by and had some trade goods, I'd set what I want, wild strawberries and lots of them! With only having rock instruments to give him, at first I would give him 10 or so of them for 25 strawberries, and he would be happy about every single time. Finely I started to lower how much I gave him, to the point where I gave him one for everything, and he accepted. It was then I realized I was giving him free gifts the whole time  :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: doublestrafe on February 27, 2012, 10:53:52 pm
After about half a dozen tries, I'm finally seeing some results from Nan's squad-of-two-no-time-off training. It's not great; sparring has made them legendary axedwarves and legendary fighters, but they're not progressing in armor use, shield use, or dodging. Suddenly the time comes to put them to the test--an ambush!

*thud* *thud* *thud* *thud* *thud*

Five out of six dwarves dead. All of them hit in the head with a silver mace. I check the bodies...no helmets. I check my inventory. Six bronze helmets, sitting in a stockpile. I check the military and yes, they were supposed to be wearing them.

They just never got around to putting them on.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on February 28, 2012, 12:24:10 am
Quote from: doublestrafe on February 27, 2012, 10:53:52 pm
After about half a dozen tries, I'm finally seeing some results from Nan's squad-of-two-no-time-off training. It's not great; sparring has made them legendary axedwarves and legendary fighters, but they're not progressing in armor use, shield use, or dodging. Suddenly the time comes to put them to the test--an ambush!

*thud* *thud* *thud* *thud* *thud*

Five out of six dwarves dead. All of them hit in the head with a silver mace. I check the bodies...no helmets. I check my inventory. Six bronze helmets, sitting in a stockpile. I check the military and yes, they were supposed to be wearing them.

They just never got around to putting them on.

In the future, check this before you send them into combat.   Yes, I learned it the hard way too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheBeardyMan on February 28, 2012, 04:56:39 am
There was a murky pool obstructing the area where I wanted to place my above ground farm plots, so I dug a deep shaft next to it, and then dug horizontally, and then down again until I breached the upper cavern, planning to drain the pool into it. The miner got clear, dug the final channel connecting the pool to the shaft, and the pool started to drain. Everything seemed to be going according to plan.

A little later, while moving the viewpoint down to check on the magma forge, I noticed the drainage tunnel was full of blood.

It turned out that I'd flushed my best swordsdwarf and her cat, for a grand total of eight broken limbs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nekoexmachina on February 28, 2012, 09:28:00 am
Had 180-ish fortress up and running.
Some creeping eyes came and started killing. Selected both squads, rectangled all the fortress and did not see that there was a diplomat from my civilization. So.. Everybody is killing everybody now :)
Except for a squad of smithing guys, who just continue to create some armor and weapons.


Sooo moment after I post it here comes the undead league with 2 necros. Yeah!
almost everything is killed.
Will the undead leave some time later? Cause The Vampire is walled out in prison :)

Will the ghosts of non-buried guys [ghosts e.g.] kill or somehow damage him?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nightwhips on February 28, 2012, 12:10:43 pm
Urist McFurnaceOperator cannot smelt hematite: needs hematite!

What about all the hematite I mined out a moment ago, Urist?

Ooo, nice red floor hatch, guys!

Wait... DAMN YOU CINNABAR!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on February 29, 2012, 02:03:27 am
Quote from: nekoexmachina on February 28, 2012, 09:28:00 am
Had 180-ish fortress up and running.
Some creeping eyes came and started killing. Selected both squads, rectangled all the fortress and did not see that there was a diplomat from my civilization. So.. Everybody is killing everybody now :)
Except for a squad of smithing guys, who just continue to create some armor and weapons.


Sooo moment after I post it here comes the undead league with 2 necros. Yeah!
almost everything is killed.
Will the undead leave some time later? Cause The Vampire is walled out in prison :)

Will the ghosts of non-buried guys [ghosts e.g.] kill or somehow damage him?

Don't know about vamps, but I've had dwarfs scared to death by particularly angry and vindictive ghosts, so yes, it's possible.

In the future put a lever in his room linked to a hatch over his head to a room full of water;) unless they get bad moods and pull levers randomly now, in which case nevermind :D

... Wait, your hoping he lives, they leave, and new immigrants come, aren'tcha? :p
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flying Fortress on February 29, 2012, 09:07:49 am
A migrant wave came, and not wanting to bother with drowning tests or anything I just did the name test thing on all of them.  One turned out to be a vamp so I designated a burrow for him and told him to start smoothing the whole thing down.  He went to his burrow and only encountered about 4 dwarves on his way there.  He started work like a good little dwarf so I locked him up and checked on the vamp 1 Z level above him (who was a great book keeper so I used him for free managing labor, figures a dwarf born for noble duties would be a blood sucker) and he was fine too, neither had any way of getting to other dwarves.  A good amount of time passed in game and I saw I had a mandate, I looked at it and laughed, thinking to myself "Learn to live with disappointment mayor..." but then I saw the name of the mayor, it was the vamp busy smoothing his room  :o

I checked on him and he was still in his burrow locked up tight, I checked on his relations and he didn't have a single freind/passing acquaintance, and only 1 diety.  I can only imagine how he became mayor.

*Dwarfs meet to vote for a mayor*
Dwarf 1:  I vote for the guy in that room over there.
Dwarf 2:  Someone lives over there?  I thought it was just an empty room.
Dwarf 3:  Yah, you  can hear him moan every now and then, I vote for him too.
Dwarf 2:  Thats a dwarf?  I thought it was just a hurt dog or something making the noise.
Dwarf 1:  *Goes over to locked door*   Hey!  Potentially non-existent and/or crazy dwarf, your our new mayor, have fun!
Vamp Mayor:  *Demands that all dwarfs sleep in his burrow.*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on February 29, 2012, 09:28:57 am
Ordered some pikedwarves to kill an insane diplomat,and noticing they started killing eachother (Well, more specifically they sarted attacking everyone EXCEPT the diplomat)

I didn't notice that it was a "Gone batshit crazy" case instead of the normal "Flipshit and kill everyone" I normally get.

I both facepalmed and savescummed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ultimuh on February 29, 2012, 09:37:27 am
Quote from: Splint on February 29, 2012, 09:28:57 am
Ordered some pikedwarves to kill an insane diplomat,and noticing they started killing eachother (Well, more specifically they sarted attacking everyone EXCEPT the diplomat)

I didn't notice that it was a "Gone batshit crazy" case instead of the normal "Flipshit and kill everyone" I normally get.

I both facepalmed and savescummed.

That my friend, is what we call a loyality cascvade.
Those can be very fun to handle once started.  ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on February 29, 2012, 09:43:08 am
Quote from: Ultimuh on February 29, 2012, 09:37:27 am
Quote from: Splint on February 29, 2012, 09:28:57 am
Ordered some pikedwarves to kill an insane diplomat,and noticing they started killing eachother (Well, more specifically they sarted attacking everyone EXCEPT the diplomat)

I didn't notice that it was a "Gone batshit crazy" case instead of the normal "Flipshit and kill everyone" I normally get.

I both facepalmed and savescummed.

That my friend, is what we call a loyality cascade.
Those can be very fun to handle once started.  ;D

Yeah. Not when you have 4 near legendary fighter+pikedwarves tearing everyone apart, and effectivly being a meat grinder for your civilization. Litarally. Hence the savescum. Sucks too cause I had a road half finished and just bought a bunch of giant emu for fighting animals from the dwarven caravan.

Honestly i don't think kill orders on insane diplomats should cause that, but oh well. An interesting note is those random useless traders who pop up with migrants are supposed to be merchants. They just got thier.... maybe 8 months too early and had to sit and wait.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: agapetos on February 29, 2012, 12:31:00 pm
For about a two years I've been having vampire atacks inside the fort. It took me some time and patience to find that one among 200 dwarfs, and finally found one. In the meantime I've decided to make my own vampire uber-killing-machine-squad. Now that I've had my dwarf in a secluded room only one thing remained: I've had to injure him somehow that he bleeds a little and then to build a well over it, where other dwarfs (also secluded) will drink water from and become vamps them selves.
Now the problem was that "Only to injure him"... I've tried the following:
- Trap with upward training spear - didn't work for him for some reason - even though I've set it on a repeat.
* (this one is good) - throwing a cat on him from two stories above him... - he moved for some reason and cat survived.
- Tried the spear trap again - he survived, the cat that attached to him.... well... blody mess (but not vampire's blood).. so the trap works, but not for him  >:(
- Installed four spears in the new trap... still it did not work
- Finally, I cut a block above him (only one block), and it fell on him... *** THE FACEPALM MOMENT *** It seams that vampires don't just get a small wound that way... they get crushed, and the worst thing...... HE DID NOT BLEED!
Now I'm left without the vampire, the seed of my vamp army.
HINT: Don't crush vampires if you want them to bleed
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: neotemplar on February 29, 2012, 11:48:10 pm
Quote from: Flying Fortress on February 29, 2012, 09:07:49 am
A migrant wave came, and not wanting to bother with drowning tests or anything I just did the name test thing on all of them.  One turned out to be a vamp so I designated a burrow for him and told him to start smoothing the whole thing down.  He went to his burrow and only encountered about 4 dwarves on his way there.  He started work like a good little dwarf so I locked him up and checked on the vamp 1 Z level above him (who was a great book keeper so I used him for free managing labor, figures a dwarf born for noble duties would be a blood sucker) and he was fine too, neither had any way of getting to other dwarves.  A good amount of time passed in game and I saw I had a mandate, I looked at it and laughed, thinking to myself "Learn to live with disappointment mayor..." but then I saw the name of the mayor, it was the vamp busy smoothing his room  :o

I checked on him and he was still in his burrow locked up tight, I checked on his relations and he didn't have a single freind/passing acquaintance, and only 1 diety.  I can only imagine how he became mayor.

*Dwarfs meet to vote for a mayor*
Dwarf 1:  I vote for the guy in that room over there.
Dwarf 2:  Someone lives over there?  I thought it was just an empty room.
Dwarf 3:  Yah, you  can hear him moan every now and then, I vote for him too.
Dwarf 2:  Thats a dwarf?  I thought it was just a hurt dog or something making the noise.
Dwarf 1:  *Goes over to locked door*   Hey!  Potentially non-existent and/or crazy dwarf, your our new mayor, have fun!
Vamp Mayor:  *Demands that all dwarfs sleep in his burrow.*

This happened to me as well, only for a Vamp fish dissector that I have locked on the surface.  It was too bad as I was gonna burrow him in offending nobles bedrooms and now she is the noble.  However, she loves floodgates and thus is an awesome noble.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on March 01, 2012, 12:08:07 pm
I just discovered the map view option in legends mode. Previously I've been wishing I could look at a map:p Discovered it while looking through the 1.3 MILLION historical events on this new world I genned... Good grief, the Age of Heroes, 900k alone.

Large world, 1050 history.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reudh on March 01, 2012, 06:42:43 pm
I've got three worlds. One had 300000 hist figs before DF began to conk out at year 550, which was the Age of Twilight (civilisations are peaceful, but are too weak to expand or are crumbling apart)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PCpaste on March 02, 2012, 05:07:08 am
Was attacked by a titan. Died in one punch from a baby. Too bad orphan babies inevetably die of thirst...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: deoloth on March 02, 2012, 07:09:20 am
im sure im not the first that had this happen but... building a floodgate then releasing magma in the chamber, but not noticing i used non-magma safe mechanisms and watch the gate fly down the corridor a moment later, and squish the miner :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on March 02, 2012, 10:44:33 am
RARRARHGH. My melee Mcap (hardly any skill nor gear yet) is secretive and wants cloth. I promptly told a shearer to drop everything and get to work with shearing, spinning and weaving. She built a loom, made rope reed fiber cloth. Captain did not move to fetch it. She sheared the only sheep, span it (spun it?), weaved it. Captain still sits. That means he wants silk. AARHG. I HAVE NOT FOUND THE CAVERNS YET.

Edit, just in case, I'm walling the captain in. I'd much much much prefer him to finish the mood as he likes spears and breastplates and is working at a forge, but still.


Edit2; Also, Bunkus the kobold shanked a woodcutter in the hand as he was about to cut wood.


Edit3; -46 first spotting of first cavern level. -47 has giant cave spider web.

Edit4; hah. I have a fisherdwarf looking like he's 79 with one friend; an eleven year old boy.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Edi5; yess the captain (who turns out to be a lady Dwarf) started with the bolt of giant cave spider silk I had made. Ruff rubicelles, copper bars, stray horse left floating rib bone (14), cedar logs, cave spider silk cloth. I'd had to slaughter the horse specifically for this as well and originally she wanted to use nickel or zinc or something.

Edit6; a ring.  >:( She was dabbling armoursmith, weaponsmith and metal crafter and she chose to make a ring despite loving spears and breastplates. oh well, legendary metal crafter is nice, I suppose. Masterful lead flasks for everyone!

EDIT 7 GNNN GOBLIN STOLE ONE OF MY CHILLUNS DAMMIT. One of the Dwars who had pursued the Goblin wasthe childs Grandfather and both are named Nil.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on March 02, 2012, 12:46:54 pm
Got a nice shallow 5x5 surrounding a tiny lake, got a nice fort, the first wagon just left with a crapload of meals, and I've just pulled the bridge so I can be left in peace until the elven caravan. Set the labours of all 19 dwarves, switched those other two mining jobs from founding military to migrant, squadded everyone up so I'd know where the potential recruits could be found... and then I find out that the entity mod I made hadn't gone through for some reason, and all the clothing was set to vanilla frequencies instead of all the good stuff being FORCED frequency. My civilisation doesn't know how to make a mail shirt. How the hell does that even happen? I hope it doesn't require a regen if I swap the information in one clothing entry for another, because the mod alters worldgen enough to lose me the site.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Portalboat on March 02, 2012, 10:34:49 pm
>I noticed drinks are low, and I haven't built a well yet
>WELP TIME TO BUILD A WELL *blindly channels*
>notice a bit later that half of my fort is flooded


God.
Damnit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on March 03, 2012, 01:19:41 am
Quote from: Portalboat on March 02, 2012, 10:34:49 pm
>I noticed drinks are low, and I haven't built a well yet
>WELP TIME TO BUILD A WELL *blindly channels*
>notice a bit later that half of my fort is flooded


God.
Damnit.

LOL, I have the exact same facepalm about 3 pages back:p

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Up to 169 immigrants, needing to finish off the last block of bedrooms to accomodate them. So I order the manager to make 30 cabinets and 30 coffers.

I come back over later, start building... For some reason, not a single coffer.

Then I notice all the coffins in my stockpile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on March 03, 2012, 01:20:07 am
Well, at least you're prepared.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on March 03, 2012, 01:24:24 am
Quote from: rtg593 on March 03, 2012, 01:19:41 am
Up to 169 immigrants, needing to finish off the last block of bedrooms to accomodate them. So I order the manager to make 30 cabinets and 30 coffers.
I come back over later, start building... For some reason, not a single coffer.
Then I notice all the coffins in my stockpile.

That has got to be the best mess up ever with containers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on March 03, 2012, 01:59:18 am
Back on my favorite 15-year-old 31.25 fort, notice a lever that I'd forgotten the purpose of. Decide to have it pulled, turns out I'd once converted the atom smashing room into the mayors bedroom. He was having a meeting with my legendary blacksmith at the time too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on March 03, 2012, 03:34:31 am
Quote from: HugoLuman on March 03, 2012, 01:59:18 am
Back on my favorite 15-year-old 31.25 fort, notice a lever that I'd forgotten the purpose of. Decide to have it pulled, turns out I'd once converted the atom smashing room into the mayors bedroom. He was having a meeting with my legendary blacksmith at the time too.

"So we need that order of-"

**CLUNK**

"Did you hear that?"
"What was tha-"

**SQUISH**
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on March 03, 2012, 08:43:58 am
Hah, oh man, harsh.

I had four silver spears made for practice for the smith and for a neat dainty little weapon trap. But now some of my militia have grabbed the silver ones instead of (better) copper ones. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on March 04, 2012, 01:57:58 am
Getting angry at the number of dwarves dying of thirst when I have over 3,000 units of alcohol available...

Then I noticed the pile of corpses on the ledge beside my digsite... Apparently they channeled from the wrong side, and trapped themselves...

Note to self: check the death reports more often.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tryrar on March 04, 2012, 06:30:37 am
Just embarked bordering an evil area(AGAIN, I must be a glutton for punishment!) I'm actually doing ok, not too many undead attacking. I'm currently subscribing to the chop them into tiny bits that don't get back up way of dealing with them, but it seems to have backfired. My mason was interrupted storing something by a louse man first right upper arm...so what does he do? He immediately falls asleep in the middle of the brook! His subsequent death by a freaking ARM crawling up to him and jamming his skull through his brain(Or what is in PLACE of his brain, since he doesn't seem  to have one  :P) made me just facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on March 04, 2012, 06:41:10 am
Quote from: rtg593 on March 04, 2012, 01:57:58 am
Getting angry at the number of dwarves dying of thirst when I have over 3,000 units of alcohol available...

Then I noticed the pile of corpses on the ledge beside my digsite... Apparently they channeled from the wrong side, and trapped themselves...

Note to self: check the death reports more often.
HOW can you ignore the bright pink "Bomrek Bomrekbomrek, metalsmith hath snuffed it like a candle in the wind" reports? :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on March 04, 2012, 09:00:00 am
i bulit a jewlers shop in this way

***
*0
***
funny thing was the guy who was building it was starving shortly after even though it looked to me as if he could get out.

long story short i had to mine an escape tunnel *faceplam*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Loud Whispers on March 04, 2012, 09:08:33 am
...Or deconstruct the workshop
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxy15 on March 04, 2012, 09:14:50 am
Sometimes in adventure mode I try to find a way around a river. Then I remember that I can swim.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ultimuh on March 04, 2012, 09:19:11 am
Quote from: jaxy15 on March 04, 2012, 09:14:50 am
Sometimes in adventure mode I try to find a way around a river. Then I remember that I can swim.

I did that once, jumped into the river.. and then I could not get up.
Luckily the fish were harmless but drowning was the only way out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on March 04, 2012, 11:36:09 am
Quote from: Loud Whispers on March 04, 2012, 09:08:33 am
...Or deconstruct the workshop

he was starving and could deconstruct the workshop
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nightwhips on March 04, 2012, 07:19:39 pm
Not for me, but for my forgotten beast...

Urist McForgottenBeast has come! A hideous duck made of snow! And he has appeared on a small ledge that is in my third cavern level! And because of a bug in my worldgen, there is magma flowing from one side of the ledge in and then off the map on the other side! The magma is at least 1/7! And HE IS MADE... OF SNOW!!!

I didn't worry about him. Fort death by zombie spiral later on.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on March 04, 2012, 10:27:23 pm
Quote from: bukitodinos on March 04, 2012, 09:00:00 am
i bulit a jewlers shop in this way

***
*0
***
funny thing was the guy who was building it was starving shortly after even though it looked to me as if he could get out.

long story short i had to mine an escape tunnel *faceplam*
I did that once.
He died of thirst :[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on March 04, 2012, 10:41:45 pm
Quote from: rtg593 on March 04, 2012, 10:41:15 pm
Embarked in haunted, ordered my dwarves to build a wall, placed a burrow so they'd all go inside, finished the wall. Ordered some digging, nothing. Removed and redesignated, nothing. After several several SEVERAL minutes of trying to figure this out, some crazy fog hit and hit pretty much every part of the dwarves (I didn't have a roof, apparently the fog was multiple z-levels high since it got in).

That was when I remembered the burrow.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: slay_mithos on March 05, 2012, 11:16:19 am
Just found a way to safely breach a magma pipe without going into the cavers where the top is.

Except my miner is dumb and jump in the tiles that will soon contain magma. 1 death, face palm 1.

I also didn't think it would fill my reservoir that fast, it is flowing very fast and I didn't have the time to close the flood gate to the "safe" path. 3 death

Now, my magma industry is under 3 levels of magma, guess I can truly call it magma industry now...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: backora900 on March 05, 2012, 01:17:29 pm
When I decided that my cloth industry can use some sheep wool.
Well, first I sheared a sheep and then an invisible necromancer rised this wool from death. Nothing deadly but scaring the whole fort
It was possible to kill it and spin it into thread (it will be one bloody evil shirt :D) but head of that "creature" was constantly coming back from death.
Seems like industry using pets will be quite the fun with necromancers around.

Luckily sheep milk resisted this necromancer's sorcery. :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on March 05, 2012, 03:17:57 pm
Quote from: rtg593 on March 03, 2012, 01:19:41 am

Up to 169 immigrants, needing to finish off the last block of bedrooms to accomodate them. So I order the manager to make 30 cabinets and 30 coffers.

I come back over later, start building... For some reason, not a single coffer.

Then I notice all the coffins in my stockpile.

I'm trying to imagine the dorf making these coffins...looking around...thinking... "Why in Armok's name is the manager having me crank out THIRTY coffins???  OOH! Break time! Off to the bottom of the rum barrel!!! ^,^"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dutchling on March 05, 2012, 04:48:08 pm
Not a facepalm for me but for one of my (modded) Skaven.
'Risen' just got a quintuplet. While this wasn't very weird, a few other things are.
- He has been and still is in a coma for years. So I kinda doubt they are really his kids..
- He named one of his new daughters 'Renal'. Which would be a nice name, if he didn't already have a son with that name >.>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on March 05, 2012, 06:31:32 pm
Quote from: floundericiousWA on March 05, 2012, 03:17:57 pm
Quote from: rtg593 on March 03, 2012, 01:19:41 am

Up to 169 immigrants, needing to finish off the last block of bedrooms to accomodate them. So I order the manager to make 30 cabinets and 30 coffers.

I come back over later, start building... For some reason, not a single coffer.

Then I notice all the coffins in my stockpile.

I'm trying to imagine the dorf making these coffins...looking around...thinking... "Why in Armok's name is the manager having me crank out THIRTY coffins???  OOH! Break time! Off to the bottom of the rum barrel!!! ^,^"

LOLOL, I can just see the paranoia going around the fort, as everyone sees haulers carrying all these coffins to the stockpile, lolol.

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY COFFINS???? WHAT IS HE PLANNING??? lol
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nightwhips on March 05, 2012, 10:49:04 pm
Started a fortress. Going well. Managing things well. Main idea, is to have a zombie arena for training, with an area out of the biome where I can kill them if needed. First wave of migrants, remember the main goal. I figure I should double check to see if this is a zombie zone, since I haven't seen any corpses yet... Well, it's not.

/facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on March 05, 2012, 11:29:46 pm
Made quick Aliens mod, but embarked as dwarves since though world didn't gen with aliens it had a damn good spot with Joyous Wilds on one side of a major river and Terrifying on the other. Wagon started on Terrifying bank. Then I got the announcement: "It is raining Xenomorph blood!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on March 05, 2012, 11:33:38 pm
Quote from: rtg593 on March 05, 2012, 06:31:32 pm
Quote from: floundericiousWA on March 05, 2012, 03:17:57 pm
Quote from: rtg593 on March 03, 2012, 01:19:41 am

Up to 169 immigrants, needing to finish off the last block of bedrooms to accomodate them. So I order the manager to make 30 cabinets and 30 coffers.

I come back over later, start building... For some reason, not a single coffer.

Then I notice all the coffins in my stockpile.

I'm trying to imagine the dorf making these coffins...looking around...thinking... "Why in Armok's name is the manager having me crank out THIRTY coffins???  OOH! Break time! Off to the bottom of the rum barrel!!! ^,^"

LOLOL, I can just see the paranoia going around the fort, as everyone sees haulers carrying all these coffins to the stockpile, lolol.

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY COFFINS???? WHAT IS HE PLANNING??? lol

Coffer = Chest

Coffin = Coffin

The second one is for holding the dead. And I don't think production will stop just because the stockpile is full, if you have ordered the worker to work and materials are in reach.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kronos on March 06, 2012, 01:40:40 am
EDIT: Bah; meant to post in the 'what's going on in your fort' thread >_>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nemica on March 06, 2012, 08:22:29 am
Okay, so I genned a new world which, FINALLY, had a tower. And embarked almost right next to it. Here come the facepalms:

I dug a staircase downwards, waking up a bunch of troglodytes. So I drafted my three miners into the military, told them to use picks and kill them. They go and try to wrestle them to the ground. One of those things died (probably of laughter), all my three miners too.
Later, a cave crocodile comes up and goes after my woodcutters. It kills them, but is axed up bad enough for my other two guys (the new miners, ha ha) to punch it dead. Whoo!
So I'm down to two dorfs, but the fort is still standing. Migrants arrive. The dorfs become happier.
I tab over to Firefox and read that thread about how vampires are a bad addition to DF. I tab back, only to see my dorfs slaugthered by corpses. Remember those troglodytes? And the cave crocodile? Yes. These corpses. Also, dorf skeletons.

So the fort died. I checked in legends mode and found out that a human necromancer must have snuck around in my fort and reanimated the corpses. Well, crap.

edit: I reclaimed. Turns out the necromancer sits in the cavern, is friendly and... just mills about. Seriously. What the fuck.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on March 06, 2012, 11:27:47 am
Quote from: Nemica on March 06, 2012, 08:22:29 am
Okay, so I genned a new world which, FINALLY, had a tower. And embarked almost right next to it. Here come the facepalms:

I dug a staircase downwards, waking up a bunch of troglodytes. So I drafted my three miners into the military, told them to use picks and kill them. They go and try to wrestle them to the ground. One of those things died (probably of laughter), all my three miners too.
Later, a cave crocodile comes up and goes after my woodcutters. It kills them, but is axed up bad enough for my other two guys (the new miners, ha ha) to punch it dead. Whoo!
So I'm down to two dorfs, but the fort is still standing. Migrants arrive. The dorfs become happier.
I tab over to Firefox and read that thread about how vampires are a bad addition to DF. I tab back, only to see my dorfs slaugthered by corpses. Remember those troglodytes? And the cave crocodile? Yes. These corpses. Also, dorf skeletons.

So the fort died. I checked in legends mode and found out that a human necromancer must have snuck around in my fort and reanimated the corpses. Well, crap.

edit: I reclaimed. Turns out the necromancer sits in the cavern, is friendly and... just mills about. Seriously. What the fuck.

Collapse the roof on him to at least get the satisfaction of knowing the bastard doesn't live.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nemica on March 06, 2012, 11:32:26 am
Quote from: Vehudur on March 06, 2012, 11:27:47 am
Collapse the roof on him to at least get the satisfaction of knowing the bastard doesn't live.

But where's the !!SCIENCE!! in that?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on March 06, 2012, 12:10:42 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on March 05, 2012, 11:29:46 pm
Then I got the announcement: "It is raining Xenomorph blood!"
Beautiful.

If you want to start over on that site, make sure that the biome selected with the F keys is one without acid rain. So long as there's a tile somewhere in the middle of the embark, odds are that the wagon will start there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on March 06, 2012, 12:45:44 pm
Quote from: Tiruin on March 05, 2012, 11:33:38 pm
Quote from: rtg593 on March 05, 2012, 06:31:32 pm
Quote from: floundericiousWA on March 05, 2012, 03:17:57 pm
Quote from: rtg593 on March 03, 2012, 01:19:41 am

Up to 169 immigrants, needing to finish off the last block of bedrooms to accomodate them. So I order the manager to make 30 cabinets and 30 coffers.

I come back over later, start building... For some reason, not a single coffer.

Then I notice all the coffins in my stockpile.

I'm trying to imagine the dorf making these coffins...looking around...thinking... "Why in Armok's name is the manager having me crank out THIRTY coffins???  OOH! Break time! Off to the bottom of the rum barrel!!! ^,^"

LOLOL, I can just see the paranoia going around the fort, as everyone sees haulers carrying all these coffins to the stockpile, lolol.

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY COFFINS???? WHAT IS HE PLANNING??? lol

Coffer = Chest

Coffin = Coffin

The second one is for holding the dead. And I don't think production will stop just because the stockpile is full, if you have ordered the worker to work and materials are in reach.

(http://images.t-nation.com/forum_images/5/c/5cdde-missingthepoint.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on March 07, 2012, 01:36:44 am
Decided to try my first "Terrifying" embark. Found a good one I liked, glacier over an aquifer with a sliver of untamed wilds. Quickly selecting it, I selected my standard embark set, filled in the gaps, and went to strike the earth!

Surveying the land, I quickly remembered my standard embark set includes copper and trees, to make my own picks and axes, along with a dozen animals, and 75 barrels of various animal parts...

OH S....

--------------------------

That being said, my dwarves punched in the brains of the 5 zombies, dug in, made a decent fort, and kept the map clear of zombies with a small militia and a couple weapon traps. I just abandoned from boredom after 3 years :p
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on March 07, 2012, 01:43:01 am
Not so much for me, but a moment for my enemies.

Sealed the gates of hell with a drawbridge, but a tantruming dwarf pulls the lever to open it. Luckily, the demons decide that the quickest route to my halls goes under the magma piston  8)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fishybang on March 07, 2012, 04:57:18 am
Mine is i get 7 snatchers four and 4 thiefs then find that 4 trolls have snuck in form the caverns and are killing my Dwarfs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ghizz on March 07, 2012, 05:18:46 am
Danger Room......made out of menacing spikes instead of training spears...

and then i AFKd for a bit to let them train....= endless cycle of training/dying <- then haulers go to remove corpses and die as well -.-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nightwhips on March 07, 2012, 10:10:33 am
Quote from: Ghizz on March 07, 2012, 05:18:46 am
Danger Room......made out of menacing spikes instead of training spears...

and then i AFKd for a bit to let them train....= endless cycle of training/dying <- then haulers go to remove corpses and die as well -.-

In Soviet Dwarf Fortress, game exploits you!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Liber celi on March 07, 2012, 03:19:36 pm
Genned my first world in 34.xx today. I set the time limit to 5000 years.
When I check the legends screen, I notice the surprisingly high number ( ~360) of artifacts.

Turns out, every single one is a legendary book, written by a mole monster (demon, i guess) who is also the leader of a human civ. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
The whole classic literature of this World are "vicious" essays about Making Love to Diseases, Being a Mole Monsters and the Superiority of Man OR essays about the mentioned essays OR essays about the essays about the essays.
I think some of them are even named like that...
This mole monster is the only person in this world who can write! What does it even think it is doing?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grax on March 07, 2012, 03:36:24 pm
Quote from: Liber celi on March 07, 2012, 03:19:36 pm
Genned my first world in 34.xx today. I set the time limit to 5000 years.
When I check the legends screen, I notice the surprisingly high number ( ~360) of artifacts.

Turns out, every single one is a legendary book, written by a mole monster (demon, i guess) who is also the leader of a human civ. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
The whole classic literature of this World are "vicious" essays about Making Love to Diseases, Being a Mole Monsters and the Superiority of Man OR essays about the mentioned essays OR essays about the essays about the essays.
I think some of them are even named like that...
This mole monster is the only person in this world who can write! What does it even think it is doing?
I think you told a story of a world of time-traveller.
"Mole monster" were the one scientist of the survived race of moles who travelled to the past and stucked then.
So he wrote a lot of books in a hope that even though one of the books will somehow somewhen reach the far descendants and he will receive help from future.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aoi on March 08, 2012, 04:44:59 am
Quote from: Liber celi on March 07, 2012, 03:19:36 pm
The whole classic literature of this World are "vicious" essays about Making Love to Diseases...

Where is this world, and are they accepting new migrants?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aspgren on March 08, 2012, 07:33:33 am
The new "rivers have edges" thing has a downside. I mean sure dwarves who fall in a river can easily climb out of it. Hooray!! .. but there's a problem.

See I embarked near a river with a waterfall. I built a bridge over the river and told my two woodcutters to chop down trees on the other side. So far so good right? Well at the edge of the waterfall the water level is a mere 1 or 2 because of the powerful torrents and the massive fall. Quite natural, right?

 Well dwarven logic dictates that a low waterlevel is completely passable. Something they wouldn't even have thought about before the ramps along the river edge were implemented. So they both took a shortcut through the waterfall and ended up 10 z levels down in a crushed mess. I facepalmed as I watched their blood being swept further down the stream.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on March 08, 2012, 09:23:03 am
A known and reported bug.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: olopi on March 08, 2012, 12:25:47 pm
my marksmen standing behind fortifications, the enemies before them, none of the Dorfs was shooting, they had bolts!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nemica on March 08, 2012, 05:19:28 pm
Quote from: olopi on March 08, 2012, 12:25:47 pm
my marksmen standing behind fortifications, the enemies before them, none of the Dorfs was shooting, they had bolts!!
Had the same thing, just with an archery tower. Down on the ground was a bowman. In the tower were my marksdorfs. One of them. Died. From arrows to the knee. But no, they didn't shoot back.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flying Dice on March 09, 2012, 12:05:26 am
Quote from: Aspgren on March 08, 2012, 07:33:33 am
The new "rivers have edges" thing has a downside. I mean sure dwarves who fall in a river can easily climb out of it. Hooray!! .. but there's a problem.

See I embarked near a river with a waterfall. I built a bridge over the river and told my two woodcutters to chop down trees on the other side. So far so good right? Well at the edge of the waterfall the water level is a mere 1 or 2 because of the powerful torrents and the massive fall. Quite natural, right?

 Well dwarven logic dictates that a low waterlevel is completely passable. Something they wouldn't even have thought about before the ramps along the river edge were implemented. So they both took a shortcut through the waterfall and ended up 10 z levels down in a crushed mess. I facepalmed as I watched their blood being swept further down the stream.

For now, just use dfhack to deramp the area near the waterfall, or floor it over, or wall it off, or etc.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on March 09, 2012, 02:33:10 am
started building a floor tile bridge across a gap, changed my mind, designated it all to be removed...

Yup, someone removed the supporting floor tile while 3 other dwarves were removing tiles further out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aspgren on March 09, 2012, 03:27:30 am
Quote from: Flying Dice on March 09, 2012, 12:05:26 am
Quote from: Aspgren on March 08, 2012, 07:33:33 am
The new "rivers have edges" thing has a downside. I mean sure dwarves who fall in a river can easily climb out of it. Hooray!! .. but there's a problem.

See I embarked near a river with a waterfall. I built a bridge over the river and told my two woodcutters to chop down trees on the other side. So far so good right? Well at the edge of the waterfall the water level is a mere 1 or 2 because of the powerful torrents and the massive fall. Quite natural, right?

 Well dwarven logic dictates that a low waterlevel is completely passable. Something they wouldn't even have thought about before the ramps along the river edge were implemented. So they both took a shortcut through the waterfall and ended up 10 z levels down in a crushed mess. I facepalmed as I watched their blood being swept further down the stream.

For now, just use dfhack to deramp the area near the waterfall, or floor it over, or wall it off, or etc.

Nope. I just set the riverbed to "restricted" and the dwarves happily started using the bridge instead. :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on March 09, 2012, 03:46:08 am
Quote from: Aspgren on March 09, 2012, 03:27:30 am
Quote from: Flying Dice on March 09, 2012, 12:05:26 am
Quote from: Aspgren on March 08, 2012, 07:33:33 am
The new "rivers have edges" thing has a downside. I mean sure dwarves who fall in a river can easily climb out of it. Hooray!! .. but there's a problem.

See I embarked near a river with a waterfall. I built a bridge over the river and told my two woodcutters to chop down trees on the other side. So far so good right? Well at the edge of the waterfall the water level is a mere 1 or 2 because of the powerful torrents and the massive fall. Quite natural, right?

 Well dwarven logic dictates that a low waterlevel is completely passable. Something they wouldn't even have thought about before the ramps along the river edge were implemented. So they both took a shortcut through the waterfall and ended up 10 z levels down in a crushed mess. I facepalmed as I watched their blood being swept further down the stream.

For now, just use dfhack to deramp the area near the waterfall, or floor it over, or wall it off, or etc.

Nope. I just set the riverbed to "restricted" and the dwarves happily started using the bridge instead. :)

I'm having the same problem right now, cept it's a 17 z drop...

I'm damming the river at the map edge, instead;-)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spinal_Taper on March 10, 2012, 12:35:37 am
Build a reservoir to hook up to a brook. Never noticed the brook was stagnant somehow until it was all done.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on March 10, 2012, 01:42:56 am
Just spent 20 minutes working out what the different colors meant under the Units List, since there doesn't seem to be a wiki page for it. As I'm posting a new thread on it, asking if I got this right, I noticed Dwarf Therapist has the colors laid out in the same basic arrangement.

Face palm.

Then noticed the skills/attributes wiki page breaks it all down with the same color-coding.

Double face palm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: wastedlands on March 10, 2012, 07:08:45 pm
Survived my very first goblin ambush, only to have the dwarves tantrum because I hadn't been paying attention to their food needs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Werefox on March 10, 2012, 07:56:34 pm
Only miner just channeled out a 7z deep pit before digging the staircase i designated next to the pit till he hit the aquifier and drowned with my only pick
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWdeV on March 11, 2012, 05:51:17 am
Stray yak bull right rear hoof hoof in craftsdwarf workshop. Yes, I wrote that correctly. The shop is now, with one hoof in it, "masterfully" cluttered.

It weighs 25. 25 whats? It clearly is heavier than a kobold skull (totem'd) so this must've been one big damn yak.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Werefox on March 11, 2012, 11:15:58 am
As far as i remember, any part of an animal is calculated as the full animal. So Yak hair, hoof, skull, bones is the size of 4 full yaks in your shop. Yay 'feature'!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWdeV on March 11, 2012, 12:09:16 pm
Ah. Right.


Anyway.

My first mood failed due to no metal bars.
Second mood okey-day. Kea man bone bin.
Third mood. Metalcrafter. I have bars, struck galena shortly after mood no1 went bonkers.

Oh right. I didn't bring an anvil on embark. Only option was steel and that was a bit much.

It's late autumn, dwarf caravan should be here soon.

Dwarf caravan arrives.

Oh right, I didn't ask for them to bring an anvil.


BLAST.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rhesusmacabre on March 11, 2012, 02:35:27 pm
My military killed a titan next to a 2z deep pool (ocean biome) and its body fell to the bottom. To retrieve it, I decided to pump out the water one layer at a time. Unfortunately, my pump operator's baby was caught in the backwash, fell in and drowned. To avoid something similar happening again, I tried the "tunnel underneath and punch a hole from above" method, and that worked without a hitch...  Until a dwarf who was picking up some goblin teeth from the emptying pool had her baby swept down the hole, where it landed on its head.

The titan's body was recovered, but by this time it had rotted away to just hair.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sarus92 on March 11, 2012, 09:29:39 pm
Embarked on a terrifying..well embark. Finally was able to get everything underground and settled. But forgot about zombies. I was abruptly reminded when I slaughtered my livestock for food but it came back to life and murdered my fortress >.<  *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Corai on March 11, 2012, 10:33:14 pm
Quote from: Neruz on April 21, 2009, 01:19:35 am
Deciding to sell a captured Dragon (stored next to my booze stockpile) to the Elves for kicks.

Yeahh.


Your evil. Get back in your tower.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Putnam on March 11, 2012, 10:39:22 pm
Fliers in dwarf mode as a whole.

"Oh no I'm stuck on a roof with no walls or ceiling! Help!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SixOfSpades on March 11, 2012, 11:01:11 pm
My mayor has very simple tastes. Gold (the site has plenty), petrified wood (okay we have to import that), figurines, and animal traps. Sounds pretty basic.

Facepalm 1.
A: "Why is it taking so long to get any gold figurines made? The Expert Metalcrafter has literally all of his other labors turned off! Why is he still 'No Job'?"
B: "Well, the forge is built on petrified wood, which is a {forbidden} stone, could that be causing it?"
A: "The wood furnace & smelter are made of the same stuff, and they're going just fine! But I'll try it anyway . . . bring me some marble blocks."
Mayor: "Just in time!" :D

Facepalm 2.
A: "Why is it taking so long to build wooden animal traps? We have a Legendary Carpenter, fercrissake!"
B: "I don't know, it's like the whole carpenter's workshop is clogged up for some reason . . . nothing's being made."
A: "I'll designate the order through the manager's window, maybe that'll shake things up."
B: "Nope, nothing."
A: "Dammit, I'll check the wiki."
(later) A: "What, it uses the Trapping labor, not Carpentry? Who the hell leaves the Trapping labor activated? Well, guess what, Lorbam, you're about to learn trap-making . . . "
Mayor: "51 days in prison for you!!!"  >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Airpi on March 11, 2012, 11:01:27 pm
So, just started a fort after a particularly long Dark Age. One of my dwarves immediately picks up a crossbow, kills a menacing otter, and then throws himself down a nearby waterfall while trying to return the corpse. Why.

(Slightly later, my carpenter and and a pair of kitten have thrown themselves down the waterfall as well. This site is cursed. Abandoned.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Telgin on March 11, 2012, 11:05:16 pm
Quote from: Putnam on March 11, 2012, 10:39:22 pm
Fliers in dwarf mode as a whole.

"Oh no I'm stuck on a roof with no walls or ceiling! Help!"

This.  I'm hoping Toady does something with flier and swimmer pathing in the bug fix cycle at some point.  No idea how complex it is to fix though.

Had a face palm moment when I realized that giving dwarves more cabinets gets all their crap off of the floor.  I hate the clutter!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MarcAFK on March 11, 2012, 11:28:50 pm
So i just had a facepalm worthy encounter with an aquifer, I'm still not sure what happened really, all i know is i need to be more careful while breeching.
So i found an aquifer, i began standard breeching procedure, i dug a 10x16 channel in the surface (with a single square on the left edge connecting to the surface) continued the channel down untill the level just above the aquiver, then i dug out that whole level, and channelled the whole thing out leaving an 8x14 channel of 7 deep water surrounded by ramps. i dropped the plug (losing a miner and pick as expected) then dug stairs down the plug. After reaching the level below the aquifer i found the soil dry so i started digging out the precious native platinum, however when i reached the tile directly underneath 7 deep water covered ramps around my plug i got the damp stone warning. I figure yeah it's damp because of the water above it, that's fine theres a floor between this level and the aquifer. So i dig it out and everythng is fine. BUT when i dig out the next space, i get a breech and everything floods.
*facepalm* also WTF how did that happen? Was the dry level i dug actually an aquifer but dropping stone on it caused it to lose it's aquifer status, when i dug past the plug then i leaked, if so, then why was the tile under the ramp safe despite the ramp not having anything dropped on it? I'm sure it has nothing to do with an irregular aquifer because i dug out to each other side of the plug and got the exact same result. I'm quite confused. In future i'll just avoid the level below the aquifer even though it should be safe, even if it has most of the native platinum on the map :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iapetus on March 12, 2012, 03:04:25 pm
1) Chained a goblin hammerman up in my barracks for live target practice, but managed to choose the one that hadn't been disarmed yet.

He managed to beat almost my entire military a pulp. 

In the end I had to draft the vampire hammer/crossbowman that had arrived in a migrant wave shortly before and send him to take it out.  (Who for some reason decided to equip herself with a copper shortsword and eventually lopped the gobbo's head off, but not before sustaining injuries that put her in the hospital as well).


2) Mechanic had just finished installing a row of cage traps in the outer entrance when an ambush showed up.  The mechanic, despite having an easy route the the safety of the fortress, and a row of cage traps between him and the gobbos, decided to run out past the goblins, and promptly got himself slaughtered.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Exlo on March 12, 2012, 04:22:21 pm
 I was just fortunate enough to have a yellow... Zircon? Some kind of titan made of some kind of gem. It spat webs. I underestimated the power of webs. I also forgot about the building destroyer tag. I forgot a lot of things. :(

 Anyway, big fella killed off my military in about two seconds, then proceeded to pummel the children I forced to carry goblin garbage into the fort for the caravans. I was able to kill it by drafting everyone into the military but the fort then tantrum spiraled itself into oblivion. Needless to say - pretty big facepalm on my part. I was just about to start up steel production...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWdeV on March 12, 2012, 04:44:09 pm
Noticed my hospital wells were filled with stagnant water. I figured I'd flush it through, get some new water in.

Hah, no. Trees sprouted up.

Cue making a bypass, draining the clogged bit, smoothing, tiling, draining the second clogged bit, another tree sprouts, cut it down, drain further, etc. To make a long story short a one-tile wide pipe is now three wide with a a one-wide bypass starting around halfway.

Fill it back up, water is still stagnant. Fresh from the river, but the river is stagnant.   

All that for nothing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Loud Whispers on March 12, 2012, 04:48:00 pm
...Accidentally starving to death a bowyer by locking her door shut.

After she had finished making an artifact ;_;
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Adrian on March 12, 2012, 06:28:19 pm
Made 2 squads, one with 4 melee and one with 4 marksdwarves.
Gave each squad dedicated barracks and engraved every square meter of them to ensure the happiness of my recruits.
Well stocked armories and a constant supply of bolts.
For every 3 dorfs training, 1 will be off-duty so they won't start complaining.
Nothing eventful happened and after 3 years i check on their progress.

Forgot to switch them to Active/Training
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jingles on March 12, 2012, 10:08:59 pm
Quote from: AWdeV on March 12, 2012, 04:44:09 pm
Noticed my hospital wells were filled with stagnant water. I figured I'd flush it through, get some new water in.

Hah, no. Trees sprouted up.

Cue making a bypass, draining the clogged bit, smoothing, tiling, draining the second clogged bit, another tree sprouts, cut it down, drain further, etc. To make a long story short a one-tile wide pipe is now three wide with a a one-wide bypass starting around halfway.

Fill it back up, water is still stagnant. Fresh from the river, but the river is stagnant.   

All that for nothing.
Oh man, I remember the first time that happened to me in a huge system of  one tile wide sewers it took me forever to clean up again.  I had smoothed all the floors thinking that would prevent growth.  It doesn't.

So after I finally cut down all the offending trees and built floors in I seal it all up again, only to discover that trees will still gro over pressure plates and floodgates if there isn't a floor there first.  Meaning I had to empty the whole damn thing again, deconstruct my plates and floodgates, build more floors, put the flood gates and plates back in and re-link everything back together while making sure my dwarves could still get out safely.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on March 12, 2012, 10:38:00 pm
Stagnant water is seriously broken right now.  A good idea overall, but one needing some love from toady1
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWdeV on March 13, 2012, 02:46:09 am
Yeah, it's a bummer but it's not all that bad. The water still works perfectly fine, just a bit of effort wasted. No biggie.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Himmelblau on March 13, 2012, 03:29:05 am
I forgot to spend points on farming and brewing/cooking on embark. Didn't get a farmer-migrant until in the third wave or something. Now I'm out of plump helmet spawns due to unskilled dwarves planting them, and didn't realise this until the first caravan had already left in the autumn. Nothing to grow in the winter, the dwarves are getting thirsty; there's not even water on the map as all of it evaporated shortly after embark. It doesn't seem to rain enough to refill the ponds.

Looks like even underground water is gone. There are trees and other vegetation in the caverns, and muddy floors but no water. Do you know if this is intended?

Anyways, spring arrived and I could start farming sweet pods, and hopefully get some of them brewn before massive dehydration kicks in.

Other than that, the embark looks great. Full of magnetite and flux, no bituminous coal or magma pools though but the site's heavily forested. Lots of tetrahedrite, too. I have also spotted three veins of candy this far, and even my first curious structure ever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on March 13, 2012, 05:05:34 am
Quote from: Himmelblau on March 13, 2012, 03:29:05 am
I forgot to spend points on farming and brewing/cooking on embark. Didn't get a farmer-migrant until in the third wave or something. Now I'm out of plump helmet spawns due to unskilled dwarves planting them, and didn't realise this until the first caravan had already left in the autumn. Nothing to grow in the winter, the dwarves are getting thirsty; there's not even water on the map as all of it evaporated shortly after embark. It doesn't seem to rain enough to refill the ponds.
...and here I was thinking my embarking without a suitable CMD was bad... :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Himmelblau on March 13, 2012, 05:38:38 am
Quote from: Sus on March 13, 2012, 05:05:34 am
Quote from: Himmelblau on March 13, 2012, 03:29:05 am
I forgot to spend points on farming and brewing/cooking on embark. Didn't get a farmer-migrant until in the third wave or something. Now I'm out of plump helmet spawns due to unskilled dwarves planting them, and didn't realise this until the first caravan had already left in the autumn. Nothing to grow in the winter, the dwarves are getting thirsty; there's not even water on the map as all of it evaporated shortly after embark. It doesn't seem to rain enough to refill the ponds.
...and here I was thinking my embarking without a suitable CMD was bad... :D
Yeah. I simply forgot, and started wondering why my farm plots remained unconstructed and inactive. Basic enough to be forgotten just like that, "well of course I have a farmer in starting seven, why do you ask?". Haven't facepalmed like this in a while.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sprawl15 on March 13, 2012, 08:59:12 am
I was using a series of cage traps at the front of my fortress to catch those pesky thieves (ground level had one entrance with the rest walled off).  After dealing with a few goblin ambushes, I set up a big corpse pit outside my walls to more easily flag body parts and corpses for dumping more easily without having to look around the battlefield.  Easy peasy.  I naturally get lazy and the bodies pile up...no big problem, I'll get around to it right after I finish decorating the new statue garden.

That is, no big problem until a necromancer shows up at my gates and immediately walks into a cage trap.  Right next to the huge pile of corpses.  And it just so happens that necromancers can resurrect nearby dead from within a cage.  Since most of the nearby corpses were skeletons, it turned real hellish real quickly, as limbs went flying only to be immediately raised...the fight must have lasted a solid 10-15 minutes.  My marksdwarves squad that had delt with a forgotten beast and many goblin raids with nary a scratch were utterly overwhelmed by Kobold Skulls and Goblin Left Toes, torn down from their full 10 to only 3, all wounded heavily.  My melee squad that was still undergeared and undertrained went in to relieve them and suffered similar casualties.  In the middle of all this, another necromancer attacked, but due to the utter chaos happening around my garbage pile, he didn't make it to the cage traps and was actually killed extremely easily; I think one of my marksdwarves killed him in two shots.

Luckily, the line held despite the dwarves having to beat all the corpses into dust.  This gave enough time for someone to run up and grab the necro cage to be placed in a safer location.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on March 13, 2012, 01:33:21 pm
Quote from: sprawl15 on March 13, 2012, 08:59:12 am
I was using a series of cage traps at the front of my fortress to catch those pesky thieves (ground level had one entrance with the rest walled off).  After dealing with a few goblin ambushes, I set up a big corpse pit outside my walls to more easily flag body parts and corpses for dumping more easily without having to look around the battlefield.  Easy peasy.  I naturally get lazy and the bodies pile up...no big problem, I'll get around to it right after I finish decorating the new statue garden.

That is, no big problem until a necromancer shows up at my gates and immediately walks into a cage trap.  Right next to the huge pile of corpses.  And it just so happens that necromancers can resurrect nearby dead from within a cage.  Since most of the nearby corpses were skeletons, it turned real hellish real quickly, as limbs went flying only to be immediately raised...the fight must have lasted a solid 10-15 minutes.  My marksdwarves squad that had delt with a forgotten beast and many goblin raids with nary a scratch were utterly overwhelmed by Kobold Skulls and Goblin Left Toes, torn down from their full 10 to only 3, all wounded heavily.  My melee squad that was still undergeared and undertrained went in to relieve them and suffered similar casualties.  In the middle of all this, another necromancer attacked, but due to the utter chaos happening around my garbage pile, he didn't make it to the cage traps and was actually killed extremely easily; I think one of my marksdwarves killed him in two shots.

Luckily, the line held despite the dwarves having to beat all the corpses into dust.  This gave enough time for someone to run up and grab the necro cage to be placed in a safer location.

With the right narritive skills, that'd make for a good story.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on March 13, 2012, 01:57:41 pm
Quote from: sprawl15 on March 13, 2012, 08:59:12 am
I was using a series of cage traps at the front of my fortress to catch those pesky thieves (ground level had one entrance with the rest walled off).  After dealing with a few goblin ambushes, I set up a big corpse pit outside my walls to more easily flag body parts and corpses for dumping more easily without having to look around the battlefield.  Easy peasy.  I naturally get lazy and the bodies pile up...no big problem, I'll get around to it right after I finish decorating the new statue garden.

That is, no big problem until a necromancer shows up at my gates and immediately walks into a cage trap.  Right next to the huge pile of corpses.  And it just so happens that necromancers can resurrect nearby dead from within a cage.  Since most of the nearby corpses were skeletons, it turned real hellish real quickly, as limbs went flying only to be immediately raised...the fight must have lasted a solid 10-15 minutes.  My marksdwarves squad that had delt with a forgotten beast and many goblin raids with nary a scratch were utterly overwhelmed by Kobold Skulls and Goblin Left Toes, torn down from their full 10 to only 3, all wounded heavily.  My melee squad that was still undergeared and undertrained went in to relieve them and suffered similar casualties.  In the middle of all this, another necromancer attacked, but due to the utter chaos happening around my garbage pile, he didn't make it to the cage traps and was actually killed extremely easily; I think one of my marksdwarves killed him in two shots.

Luckily, the line held despite the dwarves having to beat all the corpses into dust.  This gave enough time for someone to run up and grab the necro cage to be placed in a safer location.

It's moments like this that make DF an EPIC experience.  I doff my hat to you, good sir dwarf!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on March 13, 2012, 03:20:17 pm
Decided to try designating upward ramps instead of channels to dig a massive hole in the ground. Figured I'd just designate a dig tile on each level down as they clear, giving them access to the next level from the stairs. Prevent miners from falling to their doom, and all.

Turns out they treat upward ramps on the next level down as a channel on their current level.

Oh look, falling miners, and falling haulers this time.

EDIT: and now a cave-in. SIGH.

E2: and now all my miners have fallen to their death. Hello, tantrums. Think I'll save scum...

Note to self: They channel to reach upward-ramp designations.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PhantomXD on March 14, 2012, 12:25:55 am
Long time lurker first time poster here. Epic thread.

So i have played DF on a crap PC for the last 2-3 years on small maps with short history's and crap FPS.

I build a new PC. So I think lets gen a medium map with 1500 years of history 100's of extra beast's/curse's you name it. 15 minuets later map pops out, Site is found and embark with the one goal of gobblin medical experiments in mind.

Year 1 - get settled, Year 2 build some basic barricades and start exploring underground, Year 3 - get military set up for WAR! and so its peacefully rolls on to year 10 and I stop and think to my self "Wheres all the gobbo's?". Turns out they dint make it through 1500 years of history. Facedesk ... I spose will have to switch to elves.

On the bright side I have captured 2 vampires that proved incredibly hard to kill. first I dropped them 4 zlvls that did paralyze both. One stopped breathing for the rest of his undeath after the fall. I found the good ole atom smasher still works on em.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kento on March 14, 2012, 08:31:05 am
I was wondering why my raw glass was piling up. It turns out that the glass industry does not use raw glass to make glass furniture.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: -Firestar- on March 14, 2012, 10:48:46 am
I snagged some kaolinite and kimberlite at embark. They are very important for making my tombyard and there is a real possibility of an embark site not having one or the other.
I set out with no food, seeds or alcohol. (I have no idea why these items are unavailable)
I'm not too worried as there is a river and I have a few animals for meat so I should be able to hold out until the first caravan arrives.
First order of business is to build the well.
I dig and set a mechanic to make trap components

I come back from digging to find my two precious stones gone from the wagon! ;_; I didn't think to forbid them and the brainless mechanic took rocks from the wagon instead the stones he was surrounded with. ARG!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on March 14, 2012, 10:49:38 am
You may have a world with no caverns, hence no underground plants.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: -Firestar- on March 14, 2012, 11:55:41 am
*ignorant* I've seen the caverns and there's wood down there, but no plants. What does cavern plants have to do with getting seeds? Does this mean I won't even be able to trade for those precious plants? :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on March 14, 2012, 12:34:18 pm
Quote from: -Firestar- on March 14, 2012, 11:55:41 am
*ignorant* I've seen the caverns and there's wood down there, but no plants. What does cavern plants have to do with getting seeds? Does this mean I won't even be able to trade for those precious plants? :(
If your world doesn't have caverns with plants, then those plants have nowhere to grow and become extinct/never exist in the first place.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: -Firestar- on March 14, 2012, 12:37:22 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on March 14, 2012, 12:34:18 pm
Quote from: -Firestar- on March 14, 2012, 11:55:41 am
*ignorant* I've seen the caverns and there's wood down there, but no plants. What does cavern plants have to do with getting seeds? Does this mean I won't even be able to trade for those precious plants? :(
If your world doesn't have caverns with plants, then those plants have nowhere to grow and become extinct/never exist in the first place.

Then I believe this also qualifies as a facepalm moment. Found the perfect spot with all the right minerals and now... nothing exists to make booze out of.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on March 14, 2012, 12:51:30 pm
Quote from: -Firestar- on March 14, 2012, 12:37:22 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on March 14, 2012, 12:34:18 pm
Quote from: -Firestar- on March 14, 2012, 11:55:41 am
*ignorant* I've seen the caverns and there's wood down there, but no plants. What does cavern plants have to do with getting seeds? Does this mean I won't even be able to trade for those precious plants? :(
If your world doesn't have caverns with plants, then those plants have nowhere to grow and become extinct/never exist in the first place.
Then I believe this also qualifies as a facepalm moment. Found the perfect spot with all the right minerals and now... nothing exists to make booze out of.
You can try farming aboveground plants.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on March 14, 2012, 04:00:32 pm
Is there water in the caverns? AFAIK, a dry caverns will grow trees but no plants.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: erissian on March 14, 2012, 05:35:34 pm
Quote from: Jingles on March 12, 2012, 10:08:59 pm
Quote from: AWdeV on March 12, 2012, 04:44:09 pm
Noticed my hospital wells were filled with stagnant water. I figured I'd flush it through, get some new water in.

Hah, no. Trees sprouted up.

Cue making a bypass, draining the clogged bit, smoothing, tiling, draining the second clogged bit, another tree sprouts, cut it down, drain further, etc. To make a long story short a one-tile wide pipe is now three wide with a a one-wide bypass starting around halfway.

Fill it back up, water is still stagnant. Fresh from the river, but the river is stagnant.   

All that for nothing.
Oh man, I remember the first time that happened to me in a huge system of  one tile wide sewers it took me forever to clean up again.  I had smoothed all the floors thinking that would prevent growth.  It doesn't.

So after I finally cut down all the offending trees and built floors in I seal it all up again, only to discover that trees will still gro over pressure plates and floodgates if there isn't a floor there first.  Meaning I had to empty the whole damn thing again, deconstruct my plates and floodgates, build more floors, put the flood gates and plates back in and re-link everything back together while making sure my dwarves could still get out safely.

The only solution I've found for this is to dig a hallway next to where you want the water to flow, and carve fortifications on the wall where the pipe would normally be. Water passes through the fortifications, and trees will never sprout there. I've never had a tree grow where I've placed a floodgate or pressure plate, but the hallway is easily cleared and allows maintenance access. (Provided you have a way to drain it)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nightwhips on March 14, 2012, 07:14:28 pm
What? Why don't my dwarves have weapons???


... exact matches...


/facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bombzero on March 15, 2012, 02:51:52 am
what does the 'exact matches' option do?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Raikaria on March 15, 2012, 06:44:24 am
OK, let's release this Kobloid Theif with no equipment in my barracks of 5 guys for some training!

Que one of my recruits dying. To an unarmed/armored Kobloid. In a 5 on 1.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on March 15, 2012, 12:56:49 pm
Quote from: bombzero on March 15, 2012, 02:51:52 am
what does the 'exact matches' option do?

They have to pick up exactly the equipment you specify.  So if you say "iron breastplate", "iron high boot", "iron helm", "steel greaves" but you only have the iron helm and some bis.bronze armor pieces ... then the only armor they're wearing will be the iron helm (and even that is a maybe...they might "give up" when they hit a piece of armor they can't equip).

When you get a more advanced military with lots of available soldiers and a metal industry, you can literally assign each dwarf a specific piece of armor for each slot on their list and they will go get it and keep it in their inventory or in the armor racks/bins for their barracks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drago55577 on March 15, 2012, 09:37:34 pm
"how did puny goblins fell a mighty Dwarf Fortress!?"



"forgot to lock the door....."

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: targetstar on March 16, 2012, 01:21:25 pm
OK, i was building a tower when i ran out of bricks, so my roof was a bunch of random colors, later i made this massive mine and then i had way to much rocks, and useless stuff, so i decided since the roof looked ugly, i decided to get rid of it, i marked the entire roof for deconstruction, and then went to the Jon, (bathroom) when i cam back, i found i found around 6 dwarf dead, and the rest wounded, and because my Hospital was ill prepared (did not have enough beds) we moved everyone we could to the hospital, and left the rest at the barrek (cause it was the closes bed available). well everyone at the hospital died of infection, and dehydration cause it was winter and i still have yet to master the "well" and i only had 3 soap, but no body was using it..., mean while while everyone was dyeing cause 2/3 of my doctors was injured/(to be dead) back at the barrack, my injured Hunter (who is legendary marksmen, ambushes, and hunter) died of no food... and he wasn't even infected. so in the end with the account of all this death and tantrums (that continue after a lot of other people died) around 15 out of 50 of my pop died, and i was saved from the tantrum spiral by locking everyone in there own rooms, with lots of pretty statue... some of which died of dehydration cause i forgot about them.

it took me around another 2 years to finish replacing the roof and because my 2 hunters died in the... accident... i made random people hunt (even though i didn't really need but the wildlife was annoying) and a few of them were mauled by a grasshopper man.

so with my Cemetery full, and my population finally under control with only 1 or 2 people felling sad in and out, i did a face palm at the end of it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on March 16, 2012, 06:16:13 pm
Quote from: Flying Dice on March 09, 2012, 12:05:26 am
Quote from: Aspgren on March 08, 2012, 07:33:33 am
The new "rivers have edges" thing has a downside. I mean sure dwarves who fall in a river can easily climb out of it. Hooray!! .. but there's a problem.

See I embarked near a river with a waterfall. I built a bridge over the river and told my two woodcutters to chop down trees on the other side. So far so good right? Well at the edge of the waterfall the water level is a mere 1 or 2 because of the powerful torrents and the massive fall. Quite natural, right?

 Well dwarven logic dictates that a low waterlevel is completely passable. Something they wouldn't even have thought about before the ramps along the river edge were implemented. So they both took a shortcut through the waterfall and ended up 10 z levels down in a crushed mess. I facepalmed as I watched their blood being swept further down the stream.

For now, just use dfhack to deramp the area near the waterfall, or floor it over, or wall it off, or etc.


Reading up on funny stories I facepalmed reading this. Right, I can do this with DFHack. (looks at a pile of about 30 corpses beneath a 2 z-level waterfall drop). Sorry guys. And girls. And were-creature. And assorted goblins and other invaders.

______

I usually use exact matches and say for example metal breastplate. Partial match for that would be any metal upper body wear or any breastplate, including a wooden one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on March 17, 2012, 01:40:26 am
Well... Kind of a facepalm...

My Legendary+5 stonecrafter was just taken by a mood... He BETTER make something good, lol.

EDIT: Oh wait, nevermind, it's a possession. So not a waste of a mood, after all... Kinda :p

E2: Native gold, with giant weasel bone spikes, and a gabbro image. Dwarves killing a gloom hag. Value 74,400. So I guess not a waste.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWdeV on March 17, 2012, 06:13:49 am
What is it?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fahgo on March 17, 2012, 08:59:38 am
Created a looooong winding dodge trap for dealing with sieges. Included stairs back to the begining for any survivors that didn't splat to try again. Siege arrives, one leader walks onto trap, dodges off and splats at the bottom.

His entire squad walks down the stairs to stand by his corpse, not even getting near the traps
*Face Palm*
I've now moved the stairs to the end of the first line of traps.

Added Face Palm: Deployed 2 4 dorf squads next to the goblinite recovery entrance (a drawbridge at the bottom). Ordered lever pulled. Then noticed only 1 soldier charging out. The first station command I gave was too close to the wall. When the drawbridge went down the rest of the squads were running all the way to the top of the trap, to walk all the way around the looooong (34 tiles long, 5 lengths, 5 tile gap between each) top part, to walk all the way down the afore mentioned stairs. Had to call up another 2 squads to relieve the poor sod who was fighting 10 swordgobs all on his own while his mates were taking a tour around the fort. *pathfinding Face Palm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bombzero on March 17, 2012, 03:45:26 pm
^use airlocks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on March 18, 2012, 11:21:57 pm
Pull lever to Atom-smash invaders.
Entire millitary bee-lines for bridge zone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MarcAFK on March 19, 2012, 12:45:27 am
I built a magnificent basalt entrance bridge spanning across an open volcano leading to my wooden hillfort.
Queue caravan and fingers crossed, yes, finally my enterance is accessable, lots of goodies coming my way!
halfway across the bridge i notice smoke..... The animals are mildly injured, ok but they should be fine, the merchants seem ok and uninjured, my dwarves have been walking across that bridge for ages and are fine,.... 2 mins later it seems the Animals, merchants, wagons, everything they were carrying have completely evaporated...
*facepalm*
I needed that iron and flux!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on March 19, 2012, 03:15:34 am
Not thinking to internalize my refuse pile, considering I have 2 towers nearby...

Just had some goblin ambushes, dwarves took em all outside. Just now I had a necro ambush. 72 zombies rose from that refuse pile...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on March 19, 2012, 05:53:01 am
good practice for your marksdwarfs
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on March 19, 2012, 01:45:58 pm
Throw minotaur into fighting pit. Feed it goblin soldiers.

Try to feed it thieves of various races. Find it doesn't mind the shifty pricks.

Needless to say, I facepalmed when it didn't kill the thieves like I wanted.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Disreputable_Dog on March 20, 2012, 06:08:38 am
my biggest facepalm is when i get lost in making the fortress and forget about the migrants. one minute its cozy cave of catastrophy, the next ive got useless farmers and craftsdwarves leaking out every crack, usualy down into the spikey pits i had just finished diggin >.<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: omg_scout on March 20, 2012, 10:32:34 am
Quote from: Raikaria on March 15, 2012, 06:44:24 am
OK, let's release this Kobloid Theif with no equipment in my barracks of 5 guys for some training!

Que one of my recruits dying. To an unarmed/armored Kobloid. In a 5 on 1.

Heh.

i had 3 ironplated macelords. noene survived.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on March 20, 2012, 07:58:23 pm
(Mods) put a fire-throwing and web-slinging super in the same squad. I sent them against one honey badger, and they all died, leaving a huge mangled pile of severed limbs and burnt bodies tangled with web. The woodcutter who the honey badger kept interrupting survived because he fell into a webbed cage trap. Most of the other animals on that z-level died from the forest fire. Fortunately, they also got the badger.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drago55577 on March 20, 2012, 09:45:47 pm
I edited the Raws so muscles instantly explode
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on March 20, 2012, 09:53:04 pm
Quote from: drago55577 on March 20, 2012, 09:45:47 pm
I edited the Raws so muscles instantly explode

Why?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on March 20, 2012, 09:54:53 pm
Quote from: omg_scout on March 20, 2012, 10:32:34 am
Quote from: Raikaria on March 15, 2012, 06:44:24 am
OK, let's release this Kobloid Theif with no equipment in my barracks of 5 guys for some training!

Que one of my recruits dying. To an unarmed/armored Kobloid. In a 5 on 1.

Heh.

i had 3 ironplated macelords. noene survived.
Apparently, large daggers are surprisingly good at piercing armor. Then again, that's pretty much what RL daggers (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dagger#Middle_Ages) were intended for. Also, IIRC, some recent combat ‼Science‼ revealed that maces are pretty weak in DF.

Quote from: HugoLuman on March 20, 2012, 09:53:04 pm
Quote from: drago55577 on March 20, 2012, 09:45:47 pm
I edited the Raws so muscles instantly explode

Why?
Because he could, duh! :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drago55577 on March 20, 2012, 10:03:03 pm
I'm trying to figure out how to mod.0
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MystRunner on March 20, 2012, 10:04:15 pm
Very first time I ever played DF 2010 after learning in 40d. I wondered why the heck the ground where my animals were kept was turning brown and they were dieing.....and my chickens were thriving. Yeah took me a while to figure this out and a trip to the wiki. After reading the wiki I facepalmed so hard.

Thank you for actually making herbivorous eat grass....Now just allow me to make hay please.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on March 20, 2012, 10:10:39 pm
Quote from: MystRunner on March 20, 2012, 10:04:15 pm
Now just allow me to make hay please.

Oh, heck to the ya...

Hmmm... Can you mod grass to be plant gatherable, them mod grazers to also be able to eat gathered grass, aka hay?

Must look into this...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reudh on March 21, 2012, 05:01:16 am
I think so, given pandas only eat bamboo. It probably could be doable.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TomiTapio on March 21, 2012, 05:22:05 am
Quote from: rtg593 on March 20, 2012, 10:10:39 pm
Quote from: MystRunner on March 20, 2012, 10:04:15 pm
Now just allow me to make hay please.
Oh, heck to the ya... Hmmm... Can you mod grass to be plant gatherable, them mod grazers to also be able to eat gathered grass, aka hay? Must look into this...
Doesn't seem moddable to me, as grass is a type of ground covering, like snow.
Could try to simulate grass gathering by a 5x5 workshop that makes "hay" out of nothing, but, the grazer-tagged animals cannot eat the custom "hay" plant it outputs.
Just mod the grazing tag out, and use your own rules on when the cows live or die from lack of grass. Also, the caves are always there for you.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on March 21, 2012, 06:46:33 am
Quote from: HugoLuman on March 20, 2012, 07:58:23 pm
(Mods) put a fire-throwing and web-slinging super in the same squad. I sent them against one honey badger, and they all died, leaving a huge mangled pile of severed limbs and burnt bodies tangled with web. The woodcutter who the honey badger kept interrupting survived because he fell into a webbed cage trap. Most of the other animals on that z-level died from the forest fire. Fortunately, they also got the badger.

this has been said so often... Only mod in fire breathing/throwing if you also make your dwarfs fire proof, as well as their clothing, and keep trouble away from your booze stockpile. On the same note: tame dragons are more dangerous to you than to your enemy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on March 21, 2012, 11:50:02 am
Seems someone's pet duck jumped into the magma for some reason.

Edit; echhh. I had a hydra and a pit for it. There it killed a goblin and a raven (other raven had been killed by the goblin and it left two dralthas and a plump helmet man alone.) But the second time it never left it's corridor the cage had been in and as such I had the goblin shot and stabbed in the brain. I thought "I'll leave the floodgate open, that way it'll walk into a cage trap if it leaves that place" but in stead of that a beekeeper decided to come fetch either the cage or the mechanism and without even saying 'eep' the beekeeper walked straight at the hydra who needed all of two moves to kill it. I then rashly told three squadrons to kill it; my 'guard' squad, my mcom's shooters and my melee cavern watch. All on duty. Only I then decided to cancel the cavern watch squad's order as they'd have to travel too far, and i told the other two squads to wait at the 'balcony' over looking the killing pit. Only the Swordsdwarf of the two-Dwarf guard. Isn't wearing mail or breastplate or even a helmet. Has got one gauntlet, iron, two boots, steel and steel greaves, together with a steel sword and a copper shield, but body armour would have been nice. ::)


Edit2; Sarvesh the swordsdwarf gets bitten in the swords-hand; the one without a gauntlet and drops her sword.
Edit3; Sarvesh didn't even manage to scratch the fucking beast.
Edit4; one of my recruits is tantrumming. Threw a chestnut armor bin at a cheese maker who happened to be nearby and shattered his left lower arm bone.
Edit5; the nurse who was recovering the wounded cheesenista was punched in the feet (!) by the tantrumhead and it seems the nurse is now being taken to hospital and the cheesifax is lying on the floor. Ah, no, not true. The nurse is reporting the crime to the captain of the guard and the engineer who I thought was recovering the nurse is recovering lord Cheese.

Edit6; several Dwarfs reported the crime but it doesn't show up in the justice screen? Also, under the name of 'starting a fist fight' the recruit teased a ram by grabbing parts of it with his battle axe. Not sure how that works, but hey.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: arzzult on March 21, 2012, 06:29:40 pm
Spend two hours designing a large cliff side complex with waterfalls going through the dining room then deside to add an under ground trade depot. I screw up the ramp designs since it's been so long since I last used them. I don't notice this till after they are half dug out. I have OCD tendancies. I force quit out so I can start again in the same place, designating every thing all over. Face meet palm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on March 22, 2012, 07:36:43 am
Instead of placing doors I placed some down-stairs in front of bedrooms. ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naryar on March 22, 2012, 08:26:33 am
New fortress, revealing the map to see what it is. 2x3 map, volcano, 1 tiles of mountain, 2 tiles of badlands, 1 tile of temperate grassland. Conglomerate, including a 6-z-level aquifer, and that goddamn aquifer is blocking most of my access to coal, half of the magnetite cluster and other sedimentary minerals. grrr.

Then I check the caverns, and frenetically search for water in it because I had just one murky pool and no water in the caverns. I think "crap crap crap, not much water on there ! my wounded dwarves might die of thirst after I drain entirely that murky pool...

Then I remember the aquifer  :P

And now I have ideas about making an obsidian trap.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWdeV on March 22, 2012, 11:32:11 am
"Oh golly, I am a weaponsmith and I have a fey mood". Now, we have gold bars in stock and we have steel bars. I can make any kind of weapon I want! Oh I know, I'll grab a nickel bar!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: isometrist on March 22, 2012, 12:27:21 pm
I tend to get a little too ambitious in new forts. I plan a deep, complex, efficient city, then dig it all out, have migrants move all the valuables out as they're found... and then the traders come, and I realize I haven't actually crafted anything worth trading yet.

Temporary fort with just the essentials for early-game production? Nope, the idea never quite sinks in for me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZestDwarf on March 22, 2012, 05:05:36 pm
So i have a couple face palm moments for you.
I'll do them in chronological order.

So it's my first practice fort, and i had designed a weird walled off area outside of my gate for my refuse and my animals.
   
__/------------\  <-hillock
         _ _ _ _ _
       |             |
       | Refuse    | Outside
-----|             |----------
Entrance to fort            Gate
-----|             |----------
       |   Animals  | Outside
       |_________|

i built it weird because of the hills outside of my entrance.
ANYWAY. i suddenly get the warning that there is a siege. "No problem!" i say as i pull the lever and close up my fort and outside areas neatly.
A little ways into the siege, i suddenly get the message "Urist mc scaredy pants Cancels store item in stockpile, interrupted by troll"
Oh no! has the enemy found it's way inside? i haven't even figured out the military yet!
I look outside and see a huge stream of dwarves moving out of my fort to pick up an item i had dumped earlier, they got into the animal/ refuse box and suddenly ran into the animal side and were currently running back and forth along the wall like chickens with their heads cut off. They actually started leaving tread-marks on the ground where they killed the grass.
"ah Crap! where is the troll?" i look outside the wall to the hillock i should have removed earlier. a lone troll had gotten a lucky chance to spy one of my dwarves, and was sitting on top of the hill staring into my base. "dammit! he cant get you idiots!"
The most irritating part was that i didn't have any bowmen or even a military. so i was stuck as Mr. Troll stared at my dwarves as eventually 50 of them were running back and forth against the wall, with myself at the time unaware of how to fix it. -facepalm- Fort ended by death glare and advanced exercise program.

The Second face palm moment i encountered was recently when i embarked in an evil mountain area with a river source.
It was going well, no undead yet, it seemed like i would get started easily in this place. My dwarves were fishing merrily in the river source, and food levels were on the rise.
Suddenly three doom clouds roll in one after another. Luckily i am able to get my dwarves safely within the fort, so no problems there. but as my fisherman goes out to fish again, im assaulted by interruption messages. Gasp! the undead! i look outside and see a horde of ravenous .. mussels??? ... apparently the dead Mussels the dwarves left on the beach after fishing came to life in the death mist and were chasing my fisherman. Well dammit...
figuring it wouldn't be much of a challenge i drafted the miners into the military and they went out and stepped on the mollusks. (literally, no fight, just a SQUELCH) OK ... undead are dead-dead. now to pick up the bodies out here and garbage compact them.
So i mine out a small trash room inside and move the shells inside, and begin building a compacter room next to it. Oooooh the many face palms after this.
The damn mollusks kept coming back to undeath, and i continuously had to draft a military to step on them. the irritating part was that the non-military dwarves who were building/hauling kept running away as they came back to life 30 seconds after being killed. so i was left with a group of dwarves in my militia running around in the refuse room stomping on the mollusks that started moving again, while my workers tried to build and were continuously scared out of the room.
-facepalm-
Then while i was distracted a horse died of hunger and came to life, starting a spiral that ended in my defeat. CURSE YOU UNDEAD MUSSELS.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on March 22, 2012, 05:37:57 pm
therefor, the lesson, when embarking in an area that reanimates dead creatures, don't fish, don't hunt, dont't butcher. Kick everything out of your fort and lock the doors. This includes any dogs or cats you accidentally brought and the pack animals.

On the other hand, they could have been turned by the mist and then yes, the general name is husk, though the actual name depends on the cloud. which is basically an unstoppable reanimating killing machine.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on March 23, 2012, 09:38:46 pm
Bring sword instructor. Embark on volcano. Bring steel bars. Make steel spear instead of sword.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lazygun on March 24, 2012, 08:37:22 am
I noticed piles of withered pig tails in my refuse heap, fields full of unharvested crop, and my food stockpile empty, and 50 out of 75 dwarves on 'no job'. I turned 'dwarves all harvest' back on and that didn't get them harvesting. I thought I discovered a new bug. Then I realised I'd pressed 'f' in the work order preferences screen instead of 'F' to set forbidding of corpses and +cave spider silk sock+s.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on March 24, 2012, 11:01:32 am
Build priorities...

Sure, a bauxite road is fancy, but not exactly worth leaving a gaping hole in your perimeter, as the goblins came to demonstrate.
The entrance to my pastures was left unsecured due to other construction projects and an ongoing tantrum spiral.
Cue trolls and gobbos having the run of the fort and killing everybody and their Stray war dog (tame), too.  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: poisoned_salami on March 24, 2012, 11:47:03 am
Building water-filled moat, over-thinking everything, as usual.
Order wall to be constructed to avoid flooding.

Urist McWallbulider cancels haul: trapped behind wall.


Me: *facepalm* "my dwarves are idiots"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on March 24, 2012, 12:21:19 pm
nrrrgh killed my two legendary starter miners in two separate cave-ins. Militia commander threw tantrum as the first was a friend and the second her lover.


A few hours later I lost one of my second generation of three miners to a giant bat's stranglehold. :I
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on March 24, 2012, 04:36:02 pm
Quote from: poisoned_salami on March 24, 2012, 11:47:03 am
Building water-filled moat, over-thinking everything, as usual.
Order wall to be constructed to avoid flooding.

Urist McWallbulider cancels haul: trapped behind wall.


Me: *facepalm* "my dwarves are idiots"


known fact
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on March 24, 2012, 04:38:13 pm
Seeing cavy sow and cavy boar on the embark options for 2 points each.

"HEEEEeeyyy, pigs don't graze anymore, lets buy 50 and get a leather, meat, and milk industry running!"

... They starved before I realized a cavy isn't a pig.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lorem ipsum on March 25, 2012, 12:04:03 pm
my  legendary fisherdwarf trapped himself on the other side of the river and starved to death. next to him were found about 400 rotten oysters.
dwarves are idiots
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWdeV on March 25, 2012, 03:08:07 pm
And so are people who don't notice someone idling for so long they starve to death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: runlvlzero on March 25, 2012, 05:13:00 pm
My whole fort got magma crabs once.... =/ Holy shit those guys are amazingly effective killers. Lol they serisouly took my masons out from 10 zlvls down too =/

Now I know why I should:
A. Embark with bauxite
B. Build a bauxite floodgate.
C. Build a bauxite fortification.
D. Build some bauxite bars behind said fortification.
C. Carefully build my magma forges over previously channeled out magma squares.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tahujdt on March 25, 2012, 10:30:34 pm
Realized that planepacked dwarves grab all of my ores, Facepalm/R.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jonsnow on March 26, 2012, 03:41:02 am
Digging a channel so I could build a nice water source only to realize I had dug out the place underneath, permanently crippling all my miners from being able to walk :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on March 26, 2012, 06:20:07 am
Designating a large area to be channeled out multiple levels at a time = recipe for disaster.  :-[

Best case scenario: The diggers mine themselves in a corner by channeling several levels down in a small section of the channeled area, leaving a large inaccessible tract of land.
Worst case scenario: Urist McPancake, Legendary +3  Miner has been crushed by a cave-in.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rolan7 on March 26, 2012, 11:22:33 am
Science fort - testing max population using vampires.
Vampire identified, build weapon trap - Doh!  Weapon traps can't be hooked to levers.
Build nice spikes, get the vampire on top, decide to try de-stagnating the water I'm going to use.
Mess up horribly, cause flood.
Miner drowns with five of her children no idea where the other four are (I did some modding).
Well at least the vampire is now in 7/7 water on the traps, everything is cool- wait where is he
He wanders in from offscreen.  What.

Either feeding vampires can open forbidden doors now, or he swam up out of his cell.  *facepalm*
Edit: Happened again, and he definitely swam up through the hole!  Time to install a floor grate and hope I have enough water left...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jhxmt on March 27, 2012, 12:58:33 pm
My one assigned "do all the food-and-textile-type-stuff" dwarf (it's early in this fort's lifetime) just happened to be walking across a frozen murky pool when it unfroze.  No problem, she was right at the edge, on one of the slopes leading to safety.

Instead, she chose to path/swim DIRECTLY ACROSS THE POOL, and drowned halfway.

Sigh.  I mean, if she hadn't drowned I would have had to kill her anyway for being so bloody stupid, but still.  :-\  Now to find a replacement and to make a slab for her.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWdeV on March 27, 2012, 12:59:20 pm
Quote from: jonsnow on March 26, 2012, 03:41:02 am
Digging a channel so I could build a nice water source only to realize I had dug out the place underneath, permanently crippling all my miners from being able to walk :(

You know nothing, Jon Snow. :P

That said, bummer. Be very, very careful with channeling. If you want to channel over an area that is already dug out, place some walls below the bits you want to channel. Your miners will happily channel away the bits you want gone but they won't fall to their hideous/hilarious deaths.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Valikdu on March 27, 2012, 04:03:45 pm
I accidentally cooked everyting. Now I have nothing to plant.

...

*THUNDERING FACEPALM!!*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wirevix on March 27, 2012, 08:45:50 pm
Trying to learn how to get through aquifers through the cave-in-plug method.  That's almost a facepalm right there, as I am terrible at comprehending three dimensional space and make horrendous mistakes in basic operations all the time.

Attempt #1: Okay, I have it all dug out, collapse it!  ...What do you mean it didn't go deep enough?  But... but I don't have anymore z-levels to make it taller...

Attempt #2: The badgers are a nuisance but I can't let them delay my plans!  ...Both the miners are missing?  Well, where did they go?  What do you mean last seen channeling over the aquifer?  ...Badgers...! 

Attempt #3: I can't find an aquifer.  I've hit the second cavern layer.  Where is the aquifer!  Aaauugh!

Attempt #4: Okay.  Time to collapse the plug!  ...Why didn't it fall?  I don't understand.  Cave-ins are turned on.  Why is plug not falling!  What is it attached to?!  Blrrgghhh...

Attempt #5: Once again, the aquifer is hidden from sight.  I guess it must be in a corner or something.  I can't find the stupid thing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bartinyou on March 27, 2012, 10:02:03 pm
Urist Mcminer: Sir, We have found magma, steel production can commence momentarily!

          A Giant Flying Beast made of Bronze has come, beware his Poisonous Breath!

Urist McExpeditionLeader:  Have we completed sealing the stairway into the caverns with sealed Hatch Covers?!?

Urist McMason:  Was I suppose to be working on those hatch covers?  I was busy picking mushrooms.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on March 28, 2012, 08:32:22 am
Damp stone this far underground? and it's stone, not sand or anything. Wait, didn't I remove al Aquifer tags? must be a false report.


status report: So yes, puddingstone, which doesn't form layers, has aquifer too and I only removed the tags from layer materials. Great. Savescum and safe aquifer breaching training! yay for me!.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on March 28, 2012, 09:26:40 am
Quote from: Garath on March 28, 2012, 08:32:22 am
Damp stone this far underground?
I'd have assumed underground sea.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on March 28, 2012, 11:19:44 am
Quote from: FrisianDude on March 28, 2012, 09:26:40 am
Quote from: Garath on March 28, 2012, 08:32:22 am
Damp stone this far underground?
I'd have assumed underground sea.

I thought so too at first, but then I found the first cavern layer a few levels lower. Guess I should count myself lucky thatthe cavern were not directly below or it would have been full of water.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on March 28, 2012, 12:04:31 pm
"The merchants fromMong Spore have embarked on their journey."
"'Armorer, 7' Legonoshorast, Armorer is taken by a fey mood!"
"'Armorer, 7' Legonoshorast has claimed a Metalsmith's Forge."
"Armorer, 7 Legonoshorast screams <I must have copper bars!>"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Count Dorku on March 28, 2012, 02:43:26 pm
On the 40d game I'm playing just to get back in a dwarfing mood for when I install v2012:

Me: Hmm, we seem to be running low on booze. I should probably set some people to brew it.
[Urist McAdmin cancels Brew: no barrels]
Me: OK, so build some more...hang on. I know WHY they're hauling them over to the food stockpile; what I want to know is why they need ALL of them.

I assume the conversation went much like:

Urist McAdmin: Uh, I need that barrel to brew alcohol.
Bomrek McHauler: Nope! We need to stick fish in it.
Urist: Well, Dodok McCarpenter is working on another one..do you think I could have-
Bomrek: FISH
Urist: But just one-
Bomrek: FISH
Urist: What are you, a carp sympathiser?

Also, Safari spellcheck informs me that Urist, Bomrek and Dodok are spelling errors, but McProfession is perfectly fine. The more you know.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pare on March 29, 2012, 01:33:00 am
I started a new fortress in 34.06 - it was my fourth one, had a couple in 31.25 and one in 34.05 which I abandoned because of a new version (and because it wasn't going well).

First facepalm was that I did start looking for water and nice underground farm plot areas too early, without making an underground storage area. The coati men killed a dog and prevented the dwarfs from getting to the stuff in the outside stockpile - until I recruited the woodcutter to the militia. He got them all soon enough.

That was the small facepalm. The larger one came when I tried to build the well. I have an aquifer, and it's possible to dig around it, as I have a mountain biome which doesn't have the aquifer, so I can easily dig to the side. As I want a well, I decided to dig a small cistern and fill it from the aquifer.

Now, usually I have dug the cisterns as rectangular multi-level rooms. A friend gave me the advice that I could dig an inverted pyramid, with slopes on all sides so that the dwarfs can even climb out of the pit, so I proceeded to do that.

Of course, without thinking about it too much, I designated the whole pit at once, from the top down. The last parts to be dug were, obviously, the ones on the topmost layer. For some reason both my miners (I had two, two picks and had had three immigrants to the fortress at this point, so 10 dwarfs) got to the process of finishing that top layer.

For some reason they both were either on the slab when it fell down or under it. *double facepalm*

Result: both miners dead, at the bottom of a pit. Apparently the cave-in removed the slope at the bottom so I couldn't get to it, and I couldn't figure out how to build ladders there.

Luckily the caravan arrived soon enough and I realized I had more than enough tetrahedrite to forge a new pick, so apart from a couple of tantrums and the loss of the skilled miners I'm again good to go.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on March 29, 2012, 02:30:53 am
Trying to kill blizardmen or grimelings with my military. They keep beating and beating and stabbing and stabbing, but the bastards just wont die!
Also, what the hell are grimelings? They seem to be just these horrible... things. I want to try pitting them against husks
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on March 29, 2012, 02:38:05 am
Grimelings are maockeries of the plants elves love so much. Imagine a knot of tangled waterlogged rope reeds with a very bad attitude towards anything that isn't evil.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on March 29, 2012, 03:52:40 am
sounds like undead fortress overlord/overseer
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uggh on March 29, 2012, 05:38:54 am
I got my first human caravan and intended to by some armour. But wait, armour comes in different sizes. So how do I list dwarf size armour in the trade screen? Ah yes, there is a "size" menu option, maybe this will do the trick...

Luckily, the humans came back the year thereafter and only to trade.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on March 29, 2012, 06:45:07 am
hilarious.

humans only have human sized stuff anyway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Findulidas on March 29, 2012, 08:44:51 am
1.Embarked on a volcano, carefully dug out the magma channels and placed floodgates built out of a firesafe material inside them.
2.Built levers to control the floodgates, linked levers to floodgates.
3.Opened channels to lava, lava comes out dislodges the floodgates all four of them in each channel at the same time.
4.Dwarves go out and try to grab them even though its in the lava. Lost 4 dwarves due to bleeding before I realized what was going on, many more were very unhappy due to the smoke of the once burning dwarves and the deaths.

Quickly realized I had forgotten that the mechanisms should be magma safe as well. Grrrrr!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Count Dorku on March 29, 2012, 02:01:10 pm
First fortress in the latest version:

"Waitasec, animals get hungry now?!"

"...I better check the wiki."

Previously to this, I managed to build a windmill two spaces to the left of where it was supposed to go. That won't power any drowning traps at all.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on March 30, 2012, 02:48:42 am
only animals with [grazer] tags get hungry at least.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on March 30, 2012, 03:17:24 am
And Pandas HAVE to eat bamboos rather than your regular grasses.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on March 30, 2012, 03:46:27 am
Does modding in Daleks count as a bad idea?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on March 30, 2012, 03:53:29 am
ofcourse not
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Count Dorku on March 30, 2012, 02:03:11 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on March 30, 2012, 03:46:27 am
Does modding in Daleks count as a bad idea?

No, because that sounds pretty damn fun (also Fun).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWdeV on March 30, 2012, 03:43:01 pm
Yes, it counts as a bad idea because Daleks suck.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on March 30, 2012, 03:56:16 pm
I just had an oops at the top of the 24z tall tower, resulting in a dwarven child falling and punching through every single layer of dwarven masonry, leaving his both his arms and one leg on various levels as he went down. He also punched trough the layer of snow and soil beneath, and then two more layers of dwarven masonry beneath that to impact in the dining hall and explode.

His head landed... hold on let me count.... 18 tiles away in the food storage area across the hall.

He was the only heir to the throne.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on March 30, 2012, 05:12:52 pm
Quote from: AWdeV on March 30, 2012, 03:43:01 pm
Yes, it counts as a bad idea because Daleks suck.

yeah for more fun modin weeping angles
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on March 30, 2012, 05:29:48 pm
Quote from: bukitodinos on March 30, 2012, 05:12:52 pm
Quote from: AWdeV on March 30, 2012, 03:43:01 pm
Yes, it counts as a bad idea because Daleks suck.

yeah for more fun modin weeping angles

In the arena, I've seen one exterminate 2 bronze colossi while only sustaining fractured dalek bumps. Sometimes they get their plungers torn off though. Weeping angels would be awesome the best thing ever, but currently beyond the capacity of the game.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on March 30, 2012, 07:18:28 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on March 30, 2012, 05:29:48 pm
Quote from: bukitodinos on March 30, 2012, 05:12:52 pm
Quote from: AWdeV on March 30, 2012, 03:43:01 pm
Yes, it counts as a bad idea because Daleks suck.

yeah for more fun modin weeping angles

In the arena, I've seen one exterminate 2 bronze colossi while only sustaining fractured dalek bumps. Sometimes they get their plungers torn off though. Weeping angels would be awesome the best thing ever, but currently beyond the capacity of the game.

can you code it so the angle won't move within a certen number a squares of a dwarf?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on March 30, 2012, 08:10:21 pm
Quote from: bukitodinos on March 30, 2012, 07:18:28 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on March 30, 2012, 05:29:48 pm
Quote from: bukitodinos on March 30, 2012, 05:12:52 pm
Quote from: AWdeV on March 30, 2012, 03:43:01 pm
Yes, it counts as a bad idea because Daleks suck.

yeah for more fun modin weeping angles

In the arena, I've seen one exterminate 2 bronze colossi while only sustaining fractured dalek bumps. Sometimes they get their plungers torn off though. Weeping angels would be awesome the best thing ever, but currently beyond the capacity of the game.

can you code it so the angle won't move within a certen number a squares of a dwarf?

nope :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: adasdad on March 30, 2012, 08:58:46 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on March 30, 2012, 08:10:21 pm
Quote from: bukitodinos on March 30, 2012, 07:18:28 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on March 30, 2012, 05:29:48 pm
Quote from: bukitodinos on March 30, 2012, 05:12:52 pm
Quote from: AWdeV on March 30, 2012, 03:43:01 pm
Yes, it counts as a bad idea because Daleks suck.

yeah for more fun modin weeping angles

In the arena, I've seen one exterminate 2 bronze colossi while only sustaining fractured dalek bumps. Sometimes they get their plungers torn off though. Weeping angels would be awesome the best thing ever, but currently beyond the capacity of the game.

can you code it so the angle won't move within a certen number a squares of a dwarf?

nope :(
besides, then they couldn't do any harm a t all. cept for going into your main hall and cutting off access to the fort due to job cancellations.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on March 31, 2012, 08:22:54 am
Quote from: adasdad on March 30, 2012, 08:58:46 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on March 30, 2012, 08:10:21 pm
Quote from: bukitodinos on March 30, 2012, 07:18:28 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on March 30, 2012, 05:29:48 pm
Quote from: bukitodinos on March 30, 2012, 05:12:52 pm
Quote from: AWdeV on March 30, 2012, 03:43:01 pm
Yes, it counts as a bad idea because Daleks suck.

yeah for more fun modin weeping angles

In the arena, I've seen one exterminate 2 bronze colossi while only sustaining fractured dalek bumps. Sometimes they get their plungers torn off though. Weeping angels would be awesome the best thing ever, but currently beyond the capacity of the game.

can you code it so the angle won't move within a certen number a squares of a dwarf?

nope :(
besides, then they couldn't do any harm a t all. cept for going into your main hall and cutting off access to the fort due to job cancellations.
no like when the dwarf is alone in the cavens they will pick them off, ONEBY ONE
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on March 31, 2012, 11:27:09 am
I decided to start a snake farm since I had captured both male and female cobras and black mambas and training was progressing well. After waiting a year I check the raws. Missing [CHILD:1] tags. Great, scratch that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Count Dorku on March 31, 2012, 03:34:52 pm
Step 1: have 20 dwarves.
Step 2: have some dwarves not doing anything.
Step 3: occupy them with engraving.
Step 4: have strange mood create legendary stonecrafter.
Step 5: set stonecrafter to mass-produce A Present From Boatmurdered souvenir mugs.
Step 6: build few new beds, since all previous immigrant waves have been less than ten people.
Step 7: next wave of immigrants contains twice the previous population of my fort, with only enough beds for one-third of them.

From the same game, I dug some channels to run a couple of happy thought waterfall engines in my main dining room (which needs some more tables...I should really get to work on that), but got fed up with the endless string of idiots wandering in and cancelling jobs due to dangerous terrain. So I built floors over them. Including the squares I was pumping from. Oops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on March 31, 2012, 05:32:56 pm
3rd migrant wave is always huge compared to the first two
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on March 31, 2012, 05:41:51 pm
Decided to flood world with magma, when suddenly a wild High Master weaponsmith appears!
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on March 31, 2012, 05:43:48 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on March 31, 2012, 05:41:51 pm
Decided to flood world with magma, when suddenly a wild High Master weaponsmith appears!
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU
ouch.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on April 01, 2012, 04:59:02 am
High master carpenter weregoated. Now he is sitting walled off and is screwing my idle counter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on April 01, 2012, 05:10:36 am
a child got a mood. So what does he want? shell
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MenacesWithSpikes on April 01, 2012, 09:44:28 am
"The Forgotten Beast Arak has come!  A huge beakless swan.  It has a long, straight horn and it is slavering.  Its light blue feathers are fluffed-out.  Beware its poisonous vapors!"

It doesn't matter how many legendary military dwarves you have, complete with exceptional steel armor and named/masterwork/artifact steel weapons, if they have Advanced Rot and Extreme Swelling all over their bodies.  And track the syndrome all over the fort.

Lessons learned:

Put in a heck of a lot more work on being able to quarantine the caverns, or parts of the caverns, from the rest of the fort.

At this point, my forts really don't do much with either water or magma.  This needs to be fixed.  Need to work on building airlocks/decontamination chambers.  Would also like to learn how to obsidianize a critter like this one.

Need to learn how to make traps other than the traditional kind (i.e. traps that actually work on trapavoid creatures, like creating a cave-in, or giving a creature a magma bath).

Have more beds in the hospital.  Try and locate the hospital somewhere that "forgotten beast extract" won't end up all over the most heavily used corridors in the fort.  I don't really need a hospital near the surface; so far, the really nasty FBs come from deep below, and I laugh at goblin sieges at this point.  Have a hospital for the cavern levels.

Learn more about how to actually get tiles clean.  I read something that suggested that constructing a floor over a contaminated tile will clean that tile.  Gotta try that out.

Pay more attention to my medical dwarves in general.  Train them more before half the fort is spreading miasma everywhere.

In the case of this FB, I'm tempted to say "use marksdwarves only," but it took 40+ pages of combat text by legendary military dwarves to kill this thing in the first place, and it was a fast-moving flyer.  I don't think the marksdwarves would have been able to take it out before it started feasting on my civilians on higher layers of the fort.  Plus the vapors had enough range that SOMEONE was going to get infected regardless.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Count Dorku on April 01, 2012, 02:49:31 pm
Latest lesson: giant wolverines are horrible deathforged abominations that mug dwarves for no reason and murderise them. I lost three dwarves to the first one to charge onto my map, before my next conscript (chosen by the rigorous "you'll be next anyway" system) turned out to be a miner as well as carpenter and stuck a pick through its head. Cue frantic construction of copper* weaponry.

*Metal-wise, I don't think my map has anything but tetrahedrite on it; I certainly can't find anything else. Will have to buy tin or iron at the next opportunity.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on April 01, 2012, 03:53:11 pm
Quote from: Count Dorku on April 01, 2012, 02:49:31 pm
Latest lesson: giant wolverines are horrible deathforged abominations that mug dwarves for no reason and murderise them.

you do know that badgers and wolverines are part of the same animal subtypre right? they just live in different regions. So just think of them as giant badgers in a new biome and you'll see they acted as expected.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on April 01, 2012, 07:55:10 pm
If I had never heard of this game or knew nothing about the community, I would still expect giant wolverines to be mass murderators.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Count Dorku on April 01, 2012, 08:42:27 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on April 01, 2012, 07:55:10 pm
If I had never heard of this game or knew nothing about the community, I would still expect giant wolverines to be mass murderators.

Let me put it another way: I was expecting "will ruthlessly maim any dwarves who come too close".

I wasn't expecting "will define 'too close' as 'anywhere that exists'".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on April 01, 2012, 08:50:24 pm
Finally modded Daleks in, decide to play nice game of Adventure. Que murderous ambush.

Digging through aquifer, set up channel designation. Forgot to undesignate center, que very lethal cave in.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MenacesWithSpikes on April 01, 2012, 09:18:53 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on April 01, 2012, 08:50:24 pm
Finally modded Daleks in

Are Stairs > Daleks in your world?   8)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on April 01, 2012, 09:26:35 pm
Quote from: MenacesWithSpikes on April 01, 2012, 09:18:53 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on April 01, 2012, 08:50:24 pm
Finally modded Daleks in

Are Stairs > Daleks in your world?   8)

Unfortunately, there's no way to add it. And daleks have [FLIER]. EL-E-VATE
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on April 02, 2012, 08:10:21 am
Quote from: Count Dorku on April 01, 2012, 08:42:27 pm
Let me put it another way: I was expecting "will ruthlessly maim any dwarves who come too close".

I wasn't expecting "will define 'too close' as 'anywhere that exists'".

I'mma sigging this.

God I love this game.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on April 02, 2012, 12:52:46 pm
Quote from: Count Dorku on April 01, 2012, 02:49:31 pm
Latest lesson: giant wolverines are horrible deathforged abominations that mug dwarves for no reason and murderise them. I lost three dwarves to the first one to charge onto my map, before my next conscript (chosen by the rigorous "you'll be next anyway" system) turned out to be a miner as well as carpenter and stuck a pick through its head. Cue frantic construction of copper* weaponry.

*Metal-wise, I don't think my map has anything but tetrahedrite on it; I certainly can't find anything else. Will have to buy tin or iron at the next opportunity.

As memory serves, silver is currently the gog weapon of hammers (except for artifact gold and platinum hammers).  Think about outfitting soldiers with the silver your tetrahedrite inevitably produces.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iapetus on April 02, 2012, 02:21:01 pm
Human caravan decides not to actually depart until dwarven caravan arrives.
Both caravans reach my (5-wide) gate at the same and get stuck.
I deconstruct a 3-wide section of the wall to make way for them.
Two human wagons get out the gap, but before the third makes it through a dwarven wagon tries to get in.
Now both exits are blocked.
:facepalm:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Count Dorku on April 02, 2012, 02:37:59 pm
I seem to be getting a lot of these lately. A year and a half of absence + features that weren't in last time I played = chaos.

Note to self: next time, check whether animals in cages still need food *before* cramming them in there.

I'm treating my current fort as about 20% serious effort and 80% "make the mistakes now so you don't make them later" learning experience.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on April 02, 2012, 11:06:56 pm
Not a facepalm yet, but has the makings of one. Legends mode, "The Forgotten Beast Sidel 'The Playful Suckers.""

I can just see the message in fort mode:

"Beware his playful suckers!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Corai on April 03, 2012, 01:27:47 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Nuff' said.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on April 03, 2012, 01:41:38 am
I just recalled an earlier facepalm moment from the era befode .34:

> A vile force of darkness has arrived!
"Red alert! Archers, to positions! Fire the siege engines!"

-siege has left the building-

"Cancel red alert. Archers, stand down and resume training schedule."

-time passes-

> Urist McHauler has been shot and killed.
"What the carp?"
...
"FFFFFFFFUUUUUUU... Ballistas, cease fire! Cease fire!"

Yeah. One brain fart regarding the ballistae = a lot of hospitalized drofs and one fatal case of friendly fire.
The fact that my siege workshop was set on repeat didn't help matters.

Even earlier, I built elaborate ballista towers before checking the Wiki and finding out that ballista arrows can only hit targets on the same z-level as the ballista...  :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bartinyou on April 03, 2012, 01:24:18 pm
Urist McLeverPuller has taken great joy in battle lately.

Urist McChiefMedDwarf has been overwhelmed by 20 patients in the hospital.



. . . This what happens when you forget  to pull Urist off a lever before sending your haulers across the bridge to gather goblinite.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on April 03, 2012, 06:44:39 pm
Quote from: Bartinyou on April 03, 2012, 01:24:18 pm
Urist McLeverPuller has taken great joy in battle lately.

Urist McChiefMedDwarf has been overwhelmed by 20 patients in the hospital.



. . . This what happens when you forget  to pull Urist off a lever before sending your haulers across the bridge to gather goblinite.

They can get that thought if they operate a trap lever?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bartinyou on April 03, 2012, 07:43:03 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

No it wasn't an actual in game thought, but I hope one of the 20 or so dwarves that was sent to the hospital made sure to give him a piece of their mind when they were released.
They can get that thought if they operate a trap lever?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cobaldunderpants on April 04, 2012, 03:42:25 am
I was so excited. For the first time I actually went and mined up some Adamantine. I extracted the strands and made the wafers. All told I only was able to obtain about 28 pieces of raw adamantine from my map.

Not once did I think to forbid the materials.

Nor did I think twice when one of my dwarves was struck by a fey mood.

It wasn't til I saw the little bastard dragging my precious adamantine back to his workshop that my folly hit me. I hoped that he wouldn't finish the project. I hoped that when he needed those cut gems I didn't have that he would go berserk and I would have my guards slaughter him for touching my precious metals. Unfortunately I forgot that I had not sold all my cut gems to the merchants. He began his project using the cut gem, 3 raw adamantine blocks, and 1 adamantine wafer.

Alright, maybe he'll make something cool. He is in a craftdwarf shop, maybe he'll make something I can use?

He made a lute. Not just any lute either. It was a lute depicting a dragon moving into the desert I had settled on year 1 of my world. A dragon that was already dead. It was if the game was mocking me with an adamantine lute about the dragon that would never come for me to capture. I am now going to find a way to drop this dwarf into magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on April 04, 2012, 03:52:00 am
serious, I'll make an adventurer to come steal that lute and be the most amazing bard/adventurer ever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on April 04, 2012, 08:44:34 am
Quote from: Cobaldunderpants on April 04, 2012, 03:42:25 am
I was so excited. For the first time I actually went and mined up some Adamantine. I extracted the strands and made the wafers. All told I only was able to obtain about 28 pieces of raw adamantine from my map.

Not once did I think to forbid the materials.

Nor did I think twice when one of my dwarves was struck by a fey mood.

It wasn't til I saw the little bastard dragging my precious adamantine back to his workshop that my folly hit me. I hoped that he wouldn't finish the project. I hoped that when he needed those cut gems I didn't have that he would go berserk and I would have my guards slaughter him for touching my precious metals. Unfortunately I forgot that I had not sold all my cut gems to the merchants. He began his project using the cut gem, 3 raw adamantine blocks, and 1 adamantine wafer.

Alright, maybe he'll make something cool. He is in a craftdwarf shop, maybe he'll make something I can use?

He made a lute. Not just any lute either. It was a lute depicting a dragon moving into the desert I had settled on year 1 of my world. A dragon that was already dead. It was if the game was mocking me with an adamantine lute about the dragon that would never come for me to capture. I am now going to find a way to drop this dwarf into magma.


Eh...waste of a legendary craftsdwarf....burrow him with a pile of stone and a workshop, making crafts until he drops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on April 04, 2012, 10:15:06 am
After two or three years of nice, orderly fishing, all my fisherdwarves suddenly started jumping off the local waterfall.
I really need to remember to floor those over...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scruffy on April 04, 2012, 12:59:33 pm
I set a kiln to produce porcelain statues and forgot all about it. By the time I noticed I had 300 statues filling my stockpiles an this is where everything started going heading towards FUN.. You see, all my rooms were 1x6 andnaturally I decided to start placing a statue in each room in my fort (have to keep those smelly buggers happy since my minions tend to have their livespans a "bit" on the short side. (A mason producing coffins around the year..)) Around a year later I started wondering why my bookkeeping was a bit sketchy, farms unplanted and forges not producing anything. Only after that I noticed that there were a few too many skeletons in my livingquarters.. I had forgotten that the little furballs can't walk past the statues so I had trapped 30 dwarves in their rooms (out of 80) and this includes most of my furniture haulers. I lost most of my useful dwarves and was left with a bunch of furnace operators and nobles.

I have had a few occasions when my forts population has dropped to 1-2 dwarves but the most face palm moment was when my only remaining survivor of a "slight" HFS accident (note to self: never place your candy tube floodgate lever next to your main gate lever.) Urist Mcmechanic managed to get himself trapped in his own cagetrap.

Recently I tried breeding giant eagles which didnt seem to produce any offspring. A while later I noticed my baron munching on a giant eagle egg roast. :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SixOfSpades on April 04, 2012, 10:05:07 pm
Quote from: Cobaldunderpants on April 04, 2012, 03:42:25 am
It wasn't til I saw the little bastard dragging my precious adamantine back to his workshop that my folly hit me.
Fun fact: You can forbid materials that the moody dwarf has already carried to his workshop. He'll check his list, see that he still needs X quantity of Y, and go collect some more. This might only work while he's still collecting ingredients, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mrhanman on April 05, 2012, 10:51:05 am
My very first fort embarked in a location where water froze in the winter.  I had no idea how to find water, and I watched helplessly as my dwarves died of thirst one by one.  The last to go was a child, scared and alone.  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on April 05, 2012, 02:29:58 pm
booze! booze! BOOZE! Don't let them drink water untill the fish get out to piss first.Shame on you.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on April 05, 2012, 04:11:29 pm
Quote from: mrhanman on April 05, 2012, 10:51:05 am
My very first fort embarked in a location where water froze in the winter.  I had no idea how to find water, and I watched helplessly as my dwarves died of thirst one by one.  The last to go was a child, scared and alone.  :'(
As a general tip, you should never have so little booze that your dwarves need water to survive.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mrhanman on April 05, 2012, 04:57:15 pm
Quote from: Garath on April 05, 2012, 02:29:58 pm
booze! booze! BOOZE! Don't let them drink water untill the fish get out to piss first.Shame on you.
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on April 05, 2012, 04:11:29 pm
Quote from: mrhanman on April 05, 2012, 10:51:05 am
My very first fort embarked in a location where water froze in the winter.  I had no idea how to find water, and I watched helplessly as my dwarves died of thirst one by one.  The last to go was a child, scared and alone.  :'(
As a general tip, you should never have so little booze that your dwarves need water to survive.

Of course, I realize this now, but as I said - this was my first fort.  But it still got me hooked!  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Goodguy3 on April 05, 2012, 09:47:08 pm
When I found out Dwarves automatically claimed bedrooms. So much time wasted painstakingly assigning each dwarf to a bedroom. . .
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SRD on April 06, 2012, 02:14:11 am
Wait... they automatically claim bedrooms? WHAT?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reudh on April 06, 2012, 02:17:36 am
They do, as long as the room is available and defined as a room.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on April 06, 2012, 04:51:17 am
Quote from: Goodguy3 on April 05, 2012, 09:47:08 pm
When I found out Dwarves automatically claimed bedrooms. So much time wasted painstakingly assigning each dwarf to a bedroom. . .
And it if free vampire detection system! (bug #0005642: vampires never claim bedrooms)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on April 06, 2012, 06:10:37 am
don't think that is a bug... "hey, Urist McNotavamp, don't you ever sleep?"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on April 06, 2012, 10:40:23 am
Quote from: Garath on April 06, 2012, 06:10:37 am
don't think that is a bug... "hey, Urist McNotavamp, don't you ever sleep?"

See http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/mantisbt/view.php?id=5642

Quote
predicted in this post ("it is possible to find vampires by creating bedrooms, without assigning. Wait. Dwarves without claimed ones are vampires")

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=84398.msg2822541#msg2822541 [^]

reply from Toady ( http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=84398.msg2922258#msg2922258 [^] ):

"I don't think I handled that. Keep 'em coming, he he he. It'll be an arms race for a while as we patch up stuff I didn't cover."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: McFlow on April 06, 2012, 12:59:39 pm
After a goblin ambush, I decided to let my group of marksdwarves go out and hunt. When another ambush appeared, I ordered my dwarves upon the battlements, ready to strike the goblins from afar. But... Because I forgot to disable the hunting labor for them, they only stood there to charge at the goblins and swing at them with their crossbows. This changed the battle from a sure win into a "lose half your fortress and try to stabilise afte the resulting tantrum spiral". Luckily, when I set all of my dwarves to engraving/food/booze/coffin production, everything stabilized... I have yet to reassign the labors of my 40 dwarves though. The horror!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: stormyseasons on April 06, 2012, 07:56:10 pm
When I realised the werebadger affliction was spreading through my fort because the marksdwarf squad was meleeing the afflicted when they transformed. >.<

Fortunately, somehow the fortress inhabitants e.g. wardogs, pets, tame animals, fellow citizens.... can determine who is afflicted or not. Cue a spam of interrupted messages...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Funiculus on April 06, 2012, 08:03:12 pm
I had a run-in with the most ferocious dwarf-eating monster I've ever seen in the game.  Yes, I've held off forgotten beasts, dragons, hydras, creatures too horrible (or typo'd) to describe!

But this...this was a new horror beyond words.  I lost 38 dwarves, 2 caravans; and it ate the better part of 2 goblin sieges.

I speak of course, of the dreaded Dire Waterfall!

I had built my settlement into a mountain side along where two rivers joined into one.  One winded through a valley, the other formed a tall tall waterfall and cut a picturesque canyon.  For some reason, shortly after my first siege; despite six wells supplied by water in their dining rooms and a plethora of booze, both foreign and domestic; it became the "in" thing to race across the map and try to drink water from a particular square of the waterfall; the last one before the edge, of course!

Invariably, this lead to the dwarf being pushed over the edge, and falling to a horrible drowning death.  Imagine my horror as I saw a near continuous line of dwarves; some carrying their infants, racing to try some of that fresh mountain waterfall water!

Burrows, designated drinking areas, strict adherence to zones; no sir!  Nothing was going to keep these dwarves from getting a drink or dying trying...well, all died trying.  Before this silly internet fad could empty my fortress, I managed to lock my dwarves and that seemed to break the cycle.  I sent builders to wall off the waterfall.  I lost 6 builders as they'd go try to drink after placing their stones, but it was enough.  I left a door on the far side locked.

Like clockwork, the trolls smash that door and the goblins all run to that same square; pitching them off to their deaths.  So I guess it's not all bad.  I'm in the middle of engineering a way to get to the sweet sweet supply of bodies and loot at the base of the waterfall.

Besides fortress-killing waterfalls; this has been one of the most vicious monsters I've encountered yet.

Easily on par with the Dread Gazeebo...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on April 06, 2012, 09:36:32 pm
They're not trying to drink, they're trying to cross at the shallowest point. That's dwarf logic for you.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Funiculus on April 06, 2012, 10:17:02 pm
All of them had the "Drink" status thing; but you're probably right; that was the shallowest point.  Sometimes I hate dwarves.  And cats.  Actually, I always hate cats.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xdarkcodex on April 07, 2012, 04:11:22 am
Quote from: Funiculus on April 06, 2012, 10:17:02 pm
All of them had the "Drink" status thing; but you're probably right; that was the shallowest point.  Sometimes I hate dwarves.  And cats.  Actually, I always hate cats.
Umm yer
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
It seems they hate you too haha.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Funiculus on April 07, 2012, 08:08:24 am
I mentioned somewhere else, I just had one of the hateful little furballs open a maintenance door and unleash magma throughout a floor in my fort.  Didn't even have the decency to DIE; evading all damage.  Tragically, a mule was set on fire, which then ran through the fort spreading fire to animals and dwarves.  It was a near fortress ending event; I ultimately had to flood several levels just to get the fire out and stop the smoke rising up my stairs and killing everything.  Fraking cats.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Valikdu on April 07, 2012, 10:53:33 am
Quote from: Goodguy3 on April 05, 2012, 09:47:08 pm
When I found out Dwarves automatically claimed bedrooms. So much time wasted painstakingly assigning each dwarf to a bedroom. . .

WHAT
*epic facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: werty892 on April 07, 2012, 10:59:20 am
Being a noob today I finally figured out how to dump stones... I was facepalming and crying at the beauty of my Dwarves getting rid of rocks at the same time 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tahujdt on April 07, 2012, 09:18:06 pm
When I found out that you can build walls more than one at a time...

 
 Actually, I do know that, I just wanted to here the facepalms of newbs who don't.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kardofaces on April 07, 2012, 11:27:15 pm
This just happened. I had a bunch of goblins that fell into a pit from retracting a bridge during a siege - probably ten and an axe lord. I told my rangers to station nearby to finish them off. The captain was standing still near the bridge for a good minute or two. I hit the switch and THATS when he decided to walk across, maybe to grab some arrows even though I gave him orders. He fell down, and quickly slaughtered. I just screamed. Fucking retarded.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on April 08, 2012, 12:02:09 am
I watched my fps with horror. Then someone mentioned large designations cause a big drop in fps. Ah, so that's why. I undesignated 3 levels from clearcutting and now I'm seeing my fps climb up as the fourth level is being cut by the industrious little buggers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxy15 on April 08, 2012, 05:01:36 am
Quote from: tahujdt on April 07, 2012, 09:18:06 pm
When I found out that you can build walls more than one at a time...

 
 Actually, I do know that, I just wanted to here the facepalms of newbs who don't.
Not as bad as when I found out that you can designate more than one block to be dug when I was a newb.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on April 08, 2012, 09:55:37 pm
Quote from: Goodguy3 on April 05, 2012, 09:47:08 pm
When I found out Dwarves automatically claimed bedrooms. So much time wasted painstakingly assigning each dwarf to a bedroom. . .
This.
So. much. wasted. time.
 :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on April 08, 2012, 10:46:45 pm
Quote from: Sus on April 08, 2012, 09:55:37 pm
Quote from: Goodguy3 on April 05, 2012, 09:47:08 pm
When I found out Dwarves automatically claimed bedrooms. So much time wasted painstakingly assigning each dwarf to a bedroom. . .
This.
So. much. wasted. time.
 :-[

Not necessarily. Gotta make sure you waste it assiging them to dwraves who hate the vermin engraved on the walls and floors. Bonus if it's mayor.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Steforian on April 09, 2012, 01:54:03 am
Had a mass-pit filled with war dogs, dumped an unarmed goblin into it... forgot to lock the door at the bottom, he almost escaped the fort too....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on April 09, 2012, 07:09:34 am
Quote from: Splint on April 08, 2012, 10:46:45 pm
Quote from: Sus on April 08, 2012, 09:55:37 pm
Quote from: Goodguy3 on April 05, 2012, 09:47:08 pm
When I found out Dwarves automatically claimed bedrooms. So much time wasted painstakingly assigning each dwarf to a bedroom. . .
This.
So. much. wasted. time.
 :-[

Not necessarily. Gotta make sure you waste it assiging them to dwraves who hate the vermin engraved on the walls and floors. Bonus if it's mayor.
Not to mention that Dwarfs seem to have a crazy sleeping pattern and as such I'm not sure if I have enough rooms for all the Dwarfs as there are both dozens of empty rooms and dozens of room-less Dwarfs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CyberReaver on April 09, 2012, 10:47:44 am
Just embarked in a new world today to test some changes I had made, ended up getting a waterfall despite the game telling me the area was flat.  Anyways, this tiny waterfall, only about 3 or 4 wide had become the bane of all living creatures existence, claiming one of my cats, a giant weasel, and about 10 coati men.  Then, my second migrant wave showed up on the opposite side of the waterfall from my fort, and I hadn't finished the bridge yet, and, being dwarves, they decided that taking the short route through the slow moving water was for elves and other lesser creatures and took the long route directly over the very edge of the water fall.  Naturally, they all broke most of their limbs in the 10-z level fall, only to survive and have their throats literally torn out by the equally maimed, but somehow still alive, coati men. -_-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SixOfSpades on April 09, 2012, 10:27:18 pm
Quote from: CyberReaver on April 09, 2012, 10:47:44 am
. . . my second migrant wave showed up on the opposite side of the waterfall from my fort, and . . . decided that taking the short route through the slow moving water was for elves and other lesser creatures and took the long route directly over the very edge of the water fall.  Naturally, they all broke most of their limbs in the 10-z level fall . . .
I wouldn't mind things like this so much if only the game didn't assume that they were YOUR, the player's, fault.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on April 10, 2012, 03:29:03 am
It IS your fault!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xdarkcodex on April 10, 2012, 04:32:26 am
Exactly, you could had dammed up that waterfall. As boss of the establishment it is your duty to make sure there's no health hazards anywhere, your lucky the health inspector isn't coming to your fortress this year... or the next, he has mysteriously disappeared centuries ago.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on April 10, 2012, 05:26:26 am
Made my dwarfs dump all worn clothing to save fps, forgot some were still wearing it, forgot to produce replacement clothing, get a message "Vikod Thobatir, miner, has gone berserk."    A rampaging legendary miner +5 with a steel pick... might as well give up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on April 10, 2012, 06:27:24 pm
Quote from: Garath on April 10, 2012, 05:26:26 am
Made my dwarfs dump all worn clothing to save fps, forgot some were still wearing it, forgot to produce replacement clothing, get a message "Vikod Thobatir, miner, has gone berserk."    A rampaging legendary miner +5 with a steel pick... might as well give up.
It's impossible to give up in Dwarf Fortress. The closest you can get to giving up is leaving your fortress closed to everything, mass-produce food and wait for your dwarves to die out of old age.

What you described is a very FUN way of ending the game.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on April 10, 2012, 06:51:01 pm
My give up was watching what was going to happen....


he was killed by one of the marksdwarf squad and everything resumes, but I lost one of my starting seven I realize now. Clothing has been made etc
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on April 11, 2012, 07:52:46 am
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on April 10, 2012, 06:27:24 pm
Quote from: Garath on April 10, 2012, 05:26:26 am
Made my dwarfs dump all worn clothing to save fps, forgot some were still wearing it, forgot to produce replacement clothing, get a message "Vikod Thobatir, miner, has gone berserk."    A rampaging legendary miner +5 with a steel pick... might as well give up.
It's impossible to give up in Dwarf Fortress. The closest you can get to giving up is leaving your fortress closed to everything, mass-produce food and wait for your dwarves to die out of old age.

What you described is a very FUN way of ending the game.

Sure is. Had me a berserk miner once.

So. Much. Blood.

a pool of Urist McMason's dwarf blood
a spattering of Urist McFarmer's dwarf blood
a pile of vomit
Urist Mc Mason's left lower arm
Urist McFarmer's mutilated corpse
Urist McCheeseMaker's lower front tooth

and as a piquant detail, stuck inside a fortification:
Urist McSheriff's left hand

*quiver*  :'(

It's amazing how much death and destruction one murder-crazy dwarf with a +bronze pick+ can cause.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Telgin on April 11, 2012, 03:21:35 pm
Been a while since I've had a face palm moment in a fort, but this one counts I think.  My first ever construction accident!

I've had problems with thieves (never any ambushes or sieges though :(), and they would harass my fishers.  I built an enclosed fishing pier which worked wonders, but when I went to reconstruct my wall, it left some fishing pier overhang I didn't need anymore.  One mass designate remove construction on the floor, and I was in for a little Fun.

I was actually watching as it unfolded.  "You know, this is going to cause-" "A section of the cavern has collapsed!"

Nobody died, amazingly enough, but two of my citizens had three or four broken limbs.  One nearly died to infection.  I think I need to give my doctor an upgrade to her little apartment, she's earned it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on April 11, 2012, 05:48:09 pm
if I tried that anywhere near my entrance they'de be dead from breaking through about 9 z levels.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spekktre on April 11, 2012, 06:17:10 pm
when I was still trying to figure out the best methods for a reservoir I spent a huge amount of time making an aqueduct that spanned twisted it's way through my already large fort, making it's way under the hospital with a nice big area, it was a muddy area so I dug extra room to line it with constructed walls, constructed floors over the whole aqueduct and reservoir.

once all that was done I started the pump that would fill the whole thing only to notice that in the course of the aqueduct, one of the walls touches the wall of a stagnant lake....  my now awesome fort now had a huge stagnant reservoir and aqueduct (that I could have drained into the massive room I made for that directly below, but what would be the point)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GenJeFT on April 11, 2012, 08:29:00 pm
Making my first room of pain.

Everything broke out (somehow a wild elk bird killed a troll) and wreaked havoc in my fortress, waiting for tantrum spiral to begin.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eoganachta on April 12, 2012, 04:42:14 am
Got spammed with the message "Urist McMiner cancels eat: dangerous terrain". So I zoom to the location and fine out that he's in the channels under the magma forges. He's on fire.
Acceptable losses I thought. Them my expedition leader thinks it's a great idea to open the door holding back the magma (maybe he heard the screams?), covering himself in the rock blood before he himself is set ablaze.
Funnily enough the magma forges were filled with smoke from the burning bodies. BBQ anyone?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BastiBasti on April 12, 2012, 08:15:46 am
Bins. Do you know what its like, having 31x31 stockpile not being enough? I do.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on April 12, 2012, 01:02:36 pm
Quote from: Spekktre on April 11, 2012, 06:17:10 pm

once all that was done I started the pump that would fill the whole thing only to notice that in the course of the aqueduct, one of the walls touches the wall of a stagnant lake....  my now awesome fort now had a huge stagnant reservoir and aqueduct (that I could have drained into the massive room I made for that directly below, but what would be the point)

oh god...this...sooooooooo aggravating.  I'm the reporter for bug 5232, dealing with the insane persistence and pervasiveness of stagnant water.

You're going to need a new cistern and a series of pumps in chambers carved directly out of virgin rock.  You should construct floors on the outlet squares and then build the pumps...make at least two pumps.  You *should* be able to get fresh water in a cistern if you have at least two pumps, but there are, sadly, no promises.  I have a four-pump stack and had the first pump flip flop into outputting stagnant water after I built a "keep tower caps from growing in my pump stack" floor.  Made me nearly soil myself at worry that I'd inadvertently poisoned my pump stack.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on April 13, 2012, 01:11:06 am
Hmmm... I wonder if constructed floors cause cave in dust? Let's build a 3x3 floor, supported by a support tied to a lever! Outside, of course, so it's safer. Constructs deconstruct on cave in, so I'll put the lever under the floor, falling rocks never hurt anyone!

"Urist McLeverpuller has been found dead."
"Urist cancels... Unconscious. " x40

Wait... Why is there a hole...

Dangit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Castamere on April 13, 2012, 03:10:22 am
Well a not recent but happened in a 12 year fort that I ran in december before I suspened DF for the new release:

A cheesemaker that had his wife killed by a goring minotaur gets berserk in the middle of my barracks. With the main battle squad training in it. Equipped with adamantine weapons and steel clad. Let's just say that it lasted for about 0.00000002 miliseconds. His body was hauled off in 0.2 seconds by the hauler squad clearing out the elven entrails splattered training room.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: greycat on April 13, 2012, 03:46:20 pm
My fortress was built near a river, with walls on the surface, protecting a single opening.  The western wall was right up close to the river, with just a wee bit of gap between them.

Pretty soon, I was ready to add an outer wall for additional protection.  I could either knock out some of the inner wall, such that the western inner wall would become the new outer wall; or I could build a whole new outer wall across the river, with the river flowing in between the inner and outer walls.

Decided to build a wall across the river.  I know a wall can be supported in this way, by the rest of the wall on the surface (which was already built), so I just needed a place for the dwarves to stand while putting the rest of the wall up.  So I built a bridge (literally b g) on the surface, over the river, next to where the rest of the wall would be put up.  Then I ordered the whole wall segment at once.

Now, a sensible creature would extend the existing wall one tile at a time.  A dwarf, on the other hand, would pick a part of the wall at random, and attempt to build that part, without concern for the rest of the wall.

Did you remember that a bridge does not support constructions?  Neither did I.

The mason came along with a stone, and built a piece of wall right over the river, with no support.  The stone then fell down, punched through the floor of the river, into the pasture below (nice deep sand layer).  Water followed, and did not stop....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on April 13, 2012, 04:00:53 pm
seriously, wow man that is one epic fail. worth a story. Btw, not epic in stupid but funny/amazing/wth?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on April 13, 2012, 11:35:12 pm
Reminds me of my near-miss while building a bridge over troubled magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Alidus on April 14, 2012, 03:45:40 am
One of my dwarves went mysteriously missing one time, I didn't really think too much of it because I had around 250 dwarfs and one less (that wasn't legendary at anything) wasn't a big problem. I didn't really bother to look for him.

Some time later though a pet goose flew up onto my outer perimeter wall and I got the message that whoever was found dead of dehydration. I never knew that the missing dwarf was up on the wall - he must have fought something and dodged up a z-level which can happen occasionally.  :o

Kinda wish the goose hadn't found him because he had friends. It wasn't too bad though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on April 14, 2012, 03:55:18 pm
Quote from: Telgin on April 11, 2012, 03:21:35 pm
.  I think I need to give my doctor an upgrade to her little apartment, she's earned it.

go for it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naryar on April 14, 2012, 06:24:49 pm
My militia commander, champion and spearmistress, is currently showing remarkable insight in training.

(http://gametechmods.com/../uploads/images/4642bitingdemonstration.png)

I don't know if I should thank her for a good joke or lecture her for poor choice of training lessons. Seriously woman, what were you thinking ? You and your subordinates are all clad in full steel and have high quality and/or good material weapons. You sure you don't have a MORE USEFUL skill to teach to the rookies ? Like dodging or armor using ? These soldiers are NOT going to kill warwolves or war elephants via biting.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: runlvlzero on April 14, 2012, 06:43:03 pm
Make her Sheriff, and take her weapons so she can take a bite of out crime =)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on April 14, 2012, 08:10:55 pm
naryar, what tileset is that?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naryar on April 14, 2012, 08:40:28 pm
Mayday tileset.

Quote from: runlvlzero on April 14, 2012, 06:43:03 pm
Make her Sheriff, and take her weapons so she can take a bite of out crime =)

I don't make justice dwarves. I take justice into my own hands.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SixOfSpades on April 14, 2012, 11:07:20 pm
10-year-old fort. Grand plans for the megaproject include a glass ceiling over EVERYTHING: Clear glass for the inner & outer wards, crystal glass for the towers & keep. Plenty of sand on the map, but why waste my wood when all the caravans bring ready-made glass? Anyway, built a nice little solid-gold road to prepare to get bumped up to Mountainhome, I guess it's time to work on roofing the place before the king comes. Alright, let's get those Glass Furnaces fired UP!

 . . . raw glass cannot be melted into blocks for construction.  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tsuchigumo550 on April 15, 2012, 02:30:45 pm
Sees an "abandoned" fortress thing in the spawn (using Embark Anywhere)...

Goes to claim some REALLY cool stuff from the Masterwork mod, like syndrome arrows, a bunch of metal stuff

It didn't dawn on me why such things were forbidden, and since I didn't think that elf skeletons could WAKE THE FUCK UP IN A NEUTRAL BIOME,
my fortress died before it really began. It was a pretty great fort too, complete with finding meteorite in like the second Z level of the fort...

They killed everything. There's now fifty plus of them all over the place.

*facedesk*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pare on April 16, 2012, 02:15:40 am
My fortress has been running for three years now. There were something like 140 dwarves, some kind of military, running industries, enough food and all that. I had repelled a couple of sieges relatively successfully, killing some cave dragons and goblins.

Then there's a new siege. I order all people inside, and close the gates when the invaders get close enough. I lose something like ten dwarves there, but that's just life (or death, as it happens).

Then the dwarven liaison wants to leave. I'm all for it, because, well, there will be a new one, so I operate my bridge airlock in my entrance corridor and let the liaison out. When the cave dragons outside see him, I realize that my mayor has decided to escort him to the outside.

Quickly I order the bridge levers to be pulled so that the inner lock is open and outer is closed. After some frantic action in the corridor I check and see that yes, the outer bridge is still open, as is the inner bridge. Why? Wasn't the lever pulled?

Yes, it was. Only problem here is that cave dragons are large enough to prevent a raising bridge from working. *facepalm*

I did manage to close off the fortress with only eight dragons loose in the fortress. After they killed most of the active military, I started a recruiting process and they beat the dragons to death. Death count was a bit over fourty after the siege. Now most people are depressed, but only one of them has berserked.

Just after the siege was over a wave of new migrants arrived. I can just imagine that they began to reconsider their decision to move to my fortress when they arrived: outside there were just dead dwarves, the entrance corridor was covered in blood and goblin and dwarf parts, and after they got a couple of levels down the first living people just sit huddled in a corner next to cave dragon corpses, and mutter "Blood. So much blood."

I put them to work immediately. The coffin business is expanding a lot...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on April 16, 2012, 02:22:02 am
Forgot to deactivate a hiver from mace duty. He was an unintended death as a result of a wild grox. The downside here, is I lost a valuable combat instructor (had "skilled" in teaching.) I facepalmed when i got the "has been missing for a week" message. It was when I realized I forgot to deactivate him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: postm00v on April 16, 2012, 07:23:10 am
My very first wave of migrants ran straight into a river and drowned :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: fritz04 on April 16, 2012, 09:54:11 am
Spent hours generating worlds, going through the site finder, then ebarking just to find that the site ended up totally unsuitable for my plans.  Abandon and repeat.

Then i find out that A: the site finder tends to lie about flux.  and B: you can use the DFHack Prospect all on the embark screen to check if a site actually had iron ore and flux.  (steel is important to me, don't usually condone cheats, ruined too many gaming experiences by falling on cheats, but digging around a map for some ore that might not be there is not fun for me)

After figuring that out it takes about 5 minutes to find a perfect site...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xandalis on April 17, 2012, 04:09:46 am
Well... I was actually coming to post about a facepalm moment... so double-facepalm I guess? LOL

Anyway, it just dawned on me while looking over my current fort, Kordesor, and realizing a few things (listed in no particular order...)

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TomiTapio on April 17, 2012, 12:53:03 pm
Quote from: fritz04 on April 16, 2012, 09:54:11 am
(steel is important to me, don't usually condone cheats, ruined too many gaming experiences by falling on cheats, but digging around a map for some ore that might not be there is not fun for me)
Well... in the Genesis mod you can make steel without flux, by hammering Iron and Pig Iron together. Then there's Black Steel and Red Steel with their own recipes.

Come join us! We have new trees, new minerals, better invaders.
(last year or so I added fluorspar, biotite, migmatite, hornfels, greenstone, elvan, zeolite, syenite, scoria, pumice, augite, azurite, corundum, sphene, barite, pegmatite. Pink Marble, Pure Marble, Black Marble.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BirdofPrey on April 17, 2012, 04:26:08 pm
I offered goods to a few merchants (I assumed it meant offer items for trade to see if they accepted the deal) and wondered where the goods I asked for in trade were after they left a few times.  Then I realized I was supposed to hit the trade key.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on April 17, 2012, 06:53:55 pm
Quote from: BirdofPrey on April 17, 2012, 04:26:08 pm
I offered goods to a few merchants (I assumed it meant offer items for trade to see if they accepted the deal) and wondered where the goods I asked for in trade were after they left a few times.  Then I realized I was supposed to hit the trade key.
. ...but think of all the FRIENDS you made!:)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrButtchicker on April 17, 2012, 11:04:25 pm
Please note this is my first time playing. I thought I was doing pretty good for being 8 hours in. I dug down, found magma, and looked up how to use magma forges. Now that I had that done, I found adamantine. I dug it out immediately, but I kept getting warm stone notifications, so it took forever. To make things worse, a megabeast had interrupted my adamantine mine. Then another, then another. Then a siege. I was about to lose, but barely made it through it all with a bit of population left. I was 9 hours in at this point. I built my population up, and was in the one-fifties. I mined more adamantine. I get the message, "you have discovered an eerie cavern..." I checked the wiki. I lost all will to live.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on April 18, 2012, 12:06:56 am
wonderful. It's so rare that someone digs that far down without knowing what to expect
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on April 18, 2012, 12:13:52 am
Quote from: MrButtchicker on April 17, 2012, 11:04:25 pm
Please note this is my first time playing. I thought I was doing pretty good for being 8 hours in. I dug down, found magma, and looked up how to use magma forges. Now that I had that done, I found adamantine. I dug it out immediately, but I kept getting warm stone notifications, so it took forever. To make things worse, a megabeast had interrupted my adamantine mine. Then another, then another. Then a siege. I was about to lose, but barely made it through it all with a bit of population left. I was 9 hours in at this point. I built my population up, and was in the one-fifties. I mined more adamantine. I get the message, "you have discovered an eerie cavern..." I checked the wiki. I lost all will to live.

I lost my very first fort to the Surprise when I was only about 5 hours in, 80+ population, 2 deaths, no sign of goblins.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on April 18, 2012, 12:54:42 am
Trained up legendary armor and weapons smiths, working on military, take a quick peek with reveal to see that fastest route for my steel clad army to breach hfs...

Solid semi-molten rock. No path through.

Dangit!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on April 18, 2012, 01:47:06 am
no candy spires?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on April 18, 2012, 03:07:04 am
Quote from: Garath on April 18, 2012, 01:47:06 am
no candy spires?

There's some candy, then iirc 10 solid layers of semi-molten rock, then hfs... Which looked... Weird. Looked like 3 separate caverns. Shame, too. Webber down there. I'll stick a screen in this post when I get up tomorrow :p

This is the embark I posted the seed for, the one with 30,000 bars of steel worth of ores in the first 10z. I did a 2x2, volcano lower left, in case anyone wants to look at it :p
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sidhien on April 18, 2012, 12:21:02 pm
It's funny how cave-ins make you realize, seemingly for the the first time, exactly what is above what. Magma ducts should NEVER go over the booze stockpile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: runlvlzero on April 18, 2012, 12:54:45 pm
Quote from: Sidhien on April 18, 2012, 12:21:02 pm
It's funny how cave-ins make you realize, seemingly for the the first time, exactly what is above what. Magma ducts should NEVER go over the booze stockpile.

*mad laughter*!!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on April 18, 2012, 02:39:30 pm
Quote from: runlvlzero on April 18, 2012, 12:54:45 pm
Quote from: Sidhien on April 18, 2012, 12:21:02 pm
It's funny how cave-ins make you realize, seemingly for the the first time, exactly what is above what. Magma ducts should NEVER go over the booze stockpile.

*mad laughter*!!!!
Ditto :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrButtchicker on April 18, 2012, 08:18:05 pm
Quickly try playing again. Of course, as expected, I'm mass murdered by a weregiraffe. Thank the gods I didn't lose one person. That one person happened to be a vampire. Crap.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on April 18, 2012, 11:12:51 pm
Quote from: rtg593 on April 18, 2012, 02:39:30 pm
Quote from: runlvlzero on April 18, 2012, 12:54:45 pm
Quote from: Sidhien on April 18, 2012, 12:21:02 pm
It's funny how cave-ins make you realize, seemingly for the the first time, exactly what is above what. Magma ducts should NEVER go over the booze stockpile.

*mad laughter*!!!!
Ditto :D
OH NO!!!! LOL!!!! *facepalm* indeed...my hat is off to you sir...and my condolences!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CarpeDiem on April 18, 2012, 11:17:24 pm
Was going okay for a new fortress and had an okay migration wave of 8 with 3 kids, then 10 with 6 kids >.< ... and after all that disappointment I got a 2400 dwarfbuck wooden hatch as my first artifact
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on April 18, 2012, 11:22:44 pm
Put it in the dining room or dormitory! Suddenly, the room is epic!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aviator CJ on April 19, 2012, 05:57:04 am
I have dug out four spires worth of adamantine, carefully keeping the clowns on their own side, and was working on my fifth when I got a 'warm stone' warning. I figured it was just magma, so I planned to channel from above and let the magma safely dissipate. Then I was distracted by the arrival of a goblin siege, so I couldn't supervise the channeling operation.

So I activate the 'Red Alert' alert, calling all civvies in behind the doors, and watch as goblins and trolls variously slice, dice and skewer themselves on my plethora of traps. Suddenly I see a notification that a child has been killed. "What?" I say, and check the combat reports. At the top of the list, 'Devil of Cinders.'

Yeah, turns out the stone was warm because of a bunch of demons on the other side of it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on April 19, 2012, 08:43:50 am
Quote from: Aviator CJ on April 19, 2012, 05:57:04 am
Yeah, turns out the stone was warm because of a bunch of demons on the other side of it.

We should start posting signs along the spires reading

"When in doubt,
don't mine out"

similar to the signs on Hawai'i beaches... maybe with some tentacled horror maiming dwarves or stuff...
On the other hand: I did find out about HFS the hard way, made my day watching Demon hordes eat the Dwarves for elevensies.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SRD on April 19, 2012, 09:13:18 am
I found out about hfs the fun way, making hatches and tossing cats and ogres/cyclops down their LOL.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sowelu on April 19, 2012, 04:06:49 pm
Low value furniture-artifacts are good.  You can use them as practical furniture that is indestructible (best hatch ever), and they won't skyrocket your fortress value and leave you unprepared for a massive goblin horde (or immigrant horde).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Count Dorku on April 20, 2012, 04:50:17 pm
Recently, I decided to mark out multiple layers of my Dwarven particle accelerator for channelling simultaneously.

Ten seconds later one of my miners was down with multiple broken bones. Luckily, my other miner was able to dig a path to survival.

Less luckily, my other miner fell thirty seconds later and broke several of HIS bones. And a lung. Somehow.

Note to self: don't do that again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: brennenderopa on April 20, 2012, 05:27:05 pm
My Roc training program failed so miserably. First I tried to pit the Roc against a normal Goblin. Apparently that copper sword was too hardcore and he died miserably. Then I savescummed, dangerroomed the Roc to uber legendary fighter level. In the arena he took down a minotaur, a giantess (with a wierd fps drop from 45 into the single digits) and several goblins. Then he encountered the lasher. A normal lasher. With an ({iron whip}). He lashed the beast into the head with his ({iron whip}), bruising the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain.
In memory of Slalsto Dastbuslobo Otbuuse (what does that even mean?) / Born 173 / Went missing in the year 449 / Slayer of the Giantess Luth Flypride / Devoted father
okguy.jpg
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Telgin on April 20, 2012, 08:08:32 pm
Lost a citizen to a gap in my cavern seals.  Apparently up/down stairs that breach the caverns allow flying forgotten beasts to fly up and out of the caverns.  Who'd have guessed?  Anyway, cue a fight breaking out, someone dodging down into the caverns and breaking his spine, and me spending the next 10 minutes frantically searching for the break in my defenses while the militia deals with the FB
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on April 21, 2012, 02:41:50 pm
Quote from: brennenderopa on April 20, 2012, 05:27:05 pm
My Roc training program failed so miserably.-snip- Then he encountered the lasher. A normal lasher. With an ({iron whip}). He lashed the beast into the head with his ({iron whip}), bruising the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain.
In memory of Slalsto Dastbuslobo Otbuuse (what does that even mean?) / Born 173 / Went missing in the year 449 / Slayer of the Giantess Luth Flypride / Devoted father
okguy.jpg

well, whip regularly kill dwarfs wearing a steel helmet, what did you expect. Also, the roc might have been quite young.

The closest I got for the name was in goblin: Slalsto LilacRoot HoaryTwig
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on April 22, 2012, 12:34:55 am
Okay, turns out buiulding a lot of constructions out of the same kind of stone youi intend to build your trade depot on is a bad idea. Especially if you then go on to designate a lot more constructions and the dorfs forget all about your refuse stockpile roof for three years or so.
--> a phyllite boulder intended for the roof is stuck on the depot construction site for the entire time
--> no trade depot for you!

*facepalm*  :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bralbaard on April 22, 2012, 05:28:58 am
The last migrant wave had a migrant in it with the hunting labor enabled, and I didn't notice until it was too late.

He sneaked off into the caverns and killed a draltha, this I noticed by coincidence. 90% of my embark is terrifying, and it's a matter of time before it will be raised from the dead. So I rush my military in to try and contain the situation, hoping that the body can be dragged to non cursed territory in time. The Draltha is raised from the dead just when my first soldiers (a couple of recruits) arrive, they are immediately chopped to bits and raised as new undead. The four of them slaughter the rest of the nearby draltha herd and it all goes downhill from there. They are adding a group of troglodites to their ranks as I type this. I've closed of this level of the caverns for now, and have retreated my military. The problem is that this level has the only water source (a small lake) on the entire (freezing) map, and I now have a large number of injured soldiers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: brennenderopa on April 22, 2012, 01:56:00 pm
Quote from: Garath on April 21, 2012, 02:41:50 pm
Quote from: brennenderopa on April 20, 2012, 05:27:05 pm
My Roc training program failed so miserably.-snip- Then he encountered the lasher. A normal lasher. With an ({iron whip}). He lashed the beast into the head with his ({iron whip}), bruising the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain.
In memory of Slalsto Dastbuslobo Otbuuse (what does that even mean?) / Born 173 / Went missing in the year 449 / Slayer of the Giantess Luth Flypride / Devoted father
okguy.jpg

well, whip regularly kill dwarfs wearing a steel helmet, what did you expect. Also, the roc might have been quite young.

The closest I got for the name was in goblin: Slalsto LilacRoot HoaryTwig

So the goblins name the creatures? Interesting. No, he was nearly 300 years old and could kill a giantess and a minotaur without taking a scratch. I didn't realize the goblin was a lasher, I simply pitted the roc against random creatures I caught in cagetraps. He obliterated everything from minotaurs to giants without a single scratch. Those whips are simply too deadly, you just can't face them in close combat. I have them exterminated with extreme prejudice and a few crossbow bolts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EpsilonSigma on April 22, 2012, 02:11:58 pm
I just accidentally wiped out a goblin invasion with my catapult battery (I think there's around 30 all on 'fire at will'). I was busy building things and got the alert, quickly rushed up about 100 Z-level to greet the invasion and found 40 or so dead goblins splattered across a valley.

Not exactly the biggest invasion in the game's arsenal, but considering that's only the second non-ambush attack I've had I was mildly disappointed that the goblins didn't decide to exact a cruel and entertaining amount of Fun upon my super-productive fortress.

Earlier today I also managed to get a magma pump working (at last :D) and somehow pumped most of a small lake of it into my main food stockpile. -16000 foods, -1 dwarf, -a lot of valuable soil space :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DeepBlue on April 22, 2012, 05:13:53 pm
When I trade, I usually select all my stuff I know I want to get rid off (read: crafts) first, so I have a rough budget of what I can afford. I did this today, about 7k worth (my 2nd caravan), and then I accidentially hit t. No idea why. But I traded all my shit for a single deer in a willow cage.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on April 22, 2012, 08:19:10 pm
Quote from: brennenderopa on April 22, 2012, 01:56:00 pm
So the goblins name the creatures?
I thing FB and (semi)megabeasts are named in goblin. I tried dwarven first, no result, then I noticed the first name and remembered some goblins having that name.
Seems logical though that an evil race language would be used to name those monsters.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on April 22, 2012, 10:02:21 pm
So apparently magma bathing a water-composed FB obsidianizes it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: stormyseasons on April 23, 2012, 12:41:18 am
Cheese thread. From a Cheese man, in a mirthful location, in my Flora n Fauna mod location.

Which I didn't realise was there until I got the notification 'Urist has cancelled store item in stockpile: webbed'. >.<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on April 23, 2012, 07:18:44 am
sounds yummie
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zwei on April 23, 2012, 07:37:02 am
I embarked to waterfall location - I was lucky enough that two trees blocked worst path and so wall blocking it off completelly was painless to build.

Fast forward fort falling to siege, being succesfully reclaimed.

Then I needed trees. So I designated all of aboveground to be cut.

Two trees blocking waterfall-path-of-death were cut down and woodcutter to to the other end to cut down some more trees. Cue in (http://www.mobile1up.com/lemmings/blog/pictures/lemmings-walker-sprites.png) march of death of dwarves trying to bring logs to stockpile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SAFry on April 23, 2012, 10:23:13 am
I had 5 legendary hammer dwarves, The 5 Hammers (if only you could set unit names!), and I found some Adamantium so I decided to make them all Adamantium hammers and shields as their uniforms. Over the years (yes years!) I noticed how tough some of the FB fights were and how my weirdo hammer dwarfs kept resorting to biting and hitting the FB with their crossbows.

Eventually I had this incident where two FBs made it to my deep caverns base camp at the same time, one was intercepted by the 3 remaining Hammers and their new palls, the other ran straight into my war dog kennel. Basically the dogs tore their one apart while the Hammers took ages to finish off theirs.

Turns out that as Adamantium is so light it makes an awful choice for crushing weapons as it has no mass. I basically had given them the equivalent of wiffle bats to fight with. When I realised it made me think of that bit in Shaun of the Dead when they were trying to beat that zombie to death with pool cues to the tune of Queen - Don't Stop Me Now. Video made me LOL http://youtu.be/SnTR-cG5W1I
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Blackadder on April 23, 2012, 10:28:13 am
This. He just walks up and punches him, and this happens on the first hit.
(http://9trick.com/files/RandomPics/capguard.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWdeV on April 23, 2012, 11:31:48 am
Hahaha.


Metalcrafter. Secretive mood. Likes scepters. Nice. He ignores the normal forge, preferring instead to descend into the black heart of my vault and work Armok's Gift into a supremely glorious artifact on the Golden Anvil Tamefamine! Praise be to Armok! What metals will your loyal servant use?

We have Platinum. Gold. Electrum. Silver. Fine Pewter. Black bronze, bismuth bronze, steel, iron, bronze, copper, billon, lay pewter, lead, zinc, nickel, the choice is yours!

What. You're not getting anything.

Likes Pig Iron.


...


Make Pig Iron.


She rushes off. Up the stairs out of the vault, through the maze, past the dining halls, up 4 levels, into the stockpile and back.

I can't even try to planepack this because her route takes ages!

This had better be the awesomest Pig Iron scepter ever or I swear to all the gods of brutality and bloodshed I will brain you with it. You need it.


edit: not bad. Kinda cool. Heavier than I expected. Weighs more than a black bronze morningstar or the artifact birchen cabinet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Count Dorku on April 23, 2012, 03:27:17 pm
Digging out a Dwarven particle accelerator in my latest fort, I accidentally hit 'dig downward staircase' instead of 'channel'. This would have been merely inconvenient if I hadn't then foolishly dug out a square under the staircase in the middle of the room (although I managed to get *most* of it channelled out properly).

Naturally, the miner who ended up bleeding out was friends with all of my starting seven, although the red arrows seem to have calmed down for now.

To honour his sacrifice, I've put him under the other dug-out staircase, which was next to a wall so it didn't fall down when I dug it out, and have constructed a menacing spike to sit on a platform one level above. Every goblin to get skewered on the spikes will be a sacrifice to my first casualty.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CarpeDiem on April 23, 2012, 08:39:50 pm
Umm, +baby roast+ anyone?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on April 23, 2012, 10:04:13 pm
...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on April 24, 2012, 01:34:18 am
you know dwarfs are a bit weird, then you find that...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scruffy on April 24, 2012, 06:00:53 am
I had some fun with magma again. I was filling my magma corridors under my new magmaforge (pretty close to surface since it was an volcano embark) and noticed that they didnt seem to be filling up. Initially I didn't pay much attention to it but soon I noticed that something strange was going on and then I remembered that I opened a hole in the corridor wall to let my incompetent mason McTrapped out and forgot to fix it. All the magma had flown down my main staircase and flooded multiple levels (hospital, catacombs, noble quarters..). Well, I didn't lose many dwarves so I just pulled the lever to close the magmaflow but.. nothing happened. Seems like my floodgates were not magma-safe (instead I had built magma-safe aquaducts right next to it.. )

Luckily I had build 4 waterwalls around my main staircase that I used to fill my qistern. I started pumping water (and ended up flushing a screaming liaison and 4 cats plummeting down 13 levels) and managed to save the topmost flooded level. I somehow got it contained though I lost half of my rather large fort.

A few years after I started the water flow again and ended up flooding my meeting hall. Turns out that while I had mined/channeled out all the obsidian walls I had missed one floor on top of an obsidian wall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on April 24, 2012, 06:23:30 am
mechanisms in objects relating to magma also need to be magma safe
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on April 24, 2012, 07:19:36 am
"Welp, looks like I need to go fell me some cave trees. What's the worst thing that could be lurking in there, anyway?"

*ka-GCS (http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2012:Giant_cave_spider)*

Seriously, it was like the damn thing was just waiting down there, just beyond my line of sight, for the hapless fool who would puncture the cavern wall. Are Giant Cave Spiders supposed to be psychic?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on April 24, 2012, 03:11:52 pm

how is the well dry?

WE ARE RIGHT OVER THE FUCKING AQUIFER
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Count Dorku on April 24, 2012, 03:54:03 pm
Looked away from my fort for a few minutes, and came back to find my poor hapless dwarves being butchered by giant keas.

Ouch.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on April 24, 2012, 10:22:21 pm
With this game as deadly as it already is, I don't think Toady should include anything else from Australia.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on April 25, 2012, 03:22:09 am
beware the giant kiwi
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dorf3000 on April 25, 2012, 04:43:30 am
Embarked on a rocky wasteland/lake type area, did the initial digging, dry moat, etc etc.  Sometime around the first autumn, I notice a white 'O' moving on the surface.  My previous experiences with white 'O's have been Giant Olms, which can be dangerous to a beginning fort and don't appear on the surface anyway, so I had a look at the details..  It was an Ostrich Cock.

My first two thoughts were "This game has gotten a lot more, uh, detailed since the last version..." and "I don't remember embarking on an evil biome, how come it's been reanimated?"


It was a few moments later that my brain supplied the information that it might actually be the name for a male Ostrich..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on April 25, 2012, 08:02:05 pm
um...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on April 25, 2012, 11:15:19 pm
Quote from: Dorf3000 on April 25, 2012, 04:43:30 am
It was a few moments later that my brain supplied the information that it might actually be the name for a male Ostrich..

Reproductive organs are not currently enacted in vanilla.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on April 25, 2012, 11:57:12 pm
Also, Toady would likely not use the word "cock" if they were.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cheesoburgor on April 26, 2012, 11:02:09 am
i tried creating danger room first time with menacing spikes and i sent all my military dwarfs to train dodging later i got announcement that all of them died due being stabbed to death by the spikes. all of them were legendary skilled fighters  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cheesoburgor on April 26, 2012, 11:05:34 am
when i realised that dwarfs dont like drinking water
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on April 26, 2012, 12:28:45 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on April 25, 2012, 11:57:12 pm
Also, Toady would likely not use the word "cock" if they were.

A reanimated avian phallus would still be terrifying...and a perfect setup for late night comedian humor.

I'll say no more...I can already see all the wheels turning and hear the "hurk hurk hurk..." laughter...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Goodguy3 on April 26, 2012, 11:07:01 pm
I'm sure it would raise a few dwarves Comedian levels.: D Also thanks for the sig.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on April 27, 2012, 02:02:00 am
What do you get when you cross stand up comedy with avian anatomy?

A chicken rubber.

(I prefer that the tomatoes be slightly soft, but not rotten. No hard fruits or vegetables, please.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eoganachta on April 27, 2012, 02:56:00 am
Quote from: Garath on April 25, 2012, 03:22:09 am
beware the giant kiwi
As a New Zealander I got a laugh out of this.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Count Dorku on April 27, 2012, 03:31:59 pm
Goblins attack, and I haven't prepped a military. That's not the dumb part.

Goblin leader, who is riding a giant toad, dies from a serious outbreak of The Stupids when his mount leaps into a pool and drowns him. That's not the dumb part, although it is the funniest.

Goblins mill around rather than moving towards my entrance. That's not the dumb part.

Ad-hoc military is killed to the last man, but manages to whittle down the goblins to just one macegrot. That's not the dumb part.

I dig out the wall of the murky pool the goblin drowned in to reclaim all that lovely goblinite and maybe train and send out a lasher. That's the dumb part. I forgot that murky pools have ramps around the edges, and as a result two consecutive attempts to build a squad to take on that damn goblin maceman ended prematurely when the idiots climbed out of the pool to loot the corpses of their fallen friends and got slaughterised, all before actually training with a weapon or checking my admittedly crap armour stockpiles.

Of course, during this siege I managed to accidentally delete the "home" burrow to which all my civilians were assigned, and as a result there were around fifteen idiots outside standing around and being stupid. Eventually I just formed them into a ragtag wrestler squad and flung them at the goblin, hoping to win through sheer weight of numbers; that...didn't work so hot.

Definitely training up a military earlier in my next fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: miguelsz2 on April 27, 2012, 03:57:11 pm
Hrmm.... Well heres how it goes. See my fishermen pretty much drove all the fish in my stagnant river into extinction. So then I go about and search the murky pools turns out only like one of them has some fish. I immediately go about and assign my fisherdwarfs to well... fish there.

Afterward an idea pops into my head... I think hey mabey we can repopulate the river if I build a channel to the river from said murky pool (my first fort so forgive the noobish-ness). So a bunch of dwarves go in and channel out the area. Problem is that some of them dig out from underneath others and well... Murdered Drowned them. So I end up with 3 dead dwarves. Ones a baby, another my chief medical dwarf, and lastly some other dude.

Problem is now at least 3 dwarves are tantruming becuase the loss of a "Freind" and being exposed to their rotting corpses. Two of which are pretty much spamming the announcements with entering a tanrum state and then 1 second later calming the f*** down.

At the end of the day:
All in all... The murky pool did NOT repopulate the the stagnant river. Also murky pool no longer has fish. Figures...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: daveralph1234 on April 27, 2012, 06:25:34 pm
I'm sure this has come up several times by now but,

Note to self: when playing Dwarf Fortress (adventure mode), do NOT go swimming in rivers during winter, they are prone to flash freezing -_-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Revanchist on April 27, 2012, 11:49:08 pm
This just happened five minutes ago.

I send Urist McLeverpuller to test my bridge.  All goes well with the pull and he responded very quickly.  Then he went for a drink...

It (the bridge) decided to pull up at the moment he stepped on the base. I looked for the body but he seemed to be wiped from existence,  and he was my most valuable idiot dwarf.  This doesn't seem bad,  except for the fact that I accidentally made the distance from the lever the exact distance it needed to not be.  I was fully prepared for that Urist to have a broken spine with crippling injuries,  and he just goes *poof*.

Stupid Dwarves... can't even prevent themselves from demolecularization...

EDIT:  I also locked myself out of the fort...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on April 27, 2012, 11:58:58 pm
Oh, hey, here's one from the wayback machine.

The day I upgraded my computer from an ancient Celeron D to the AMD 1090T Six core. I also went from 1GB RAM to 8. (Apparently, the biggest impact on my speed was the extreme cache upgrade.) Also, my FPS on my carefully selected, excessive item culled, no moving water or magma, anti-fps drain 2x2 map went from ~16 to over 200,000. The siege that hit me right after I loaded the save lasted less than a second, and I lost 190 dorfs. My reaction?

O_O OMFGWAT?

Then I remembered that I had the FPS uncapped.

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FlickerFly on April 28, 2012, 01:09:03 am
I decide to try out kobold camp.
After a couple of tries, I get a nice stable dirt-fort.
A large ambush of elvish spearmen comes over.
I close the door.
Then the merchants which were in the fort at the time decide to leave, opening the doors.
They come in, slaughtering my puny kobolds.
I am in another part of the fort at the time, and decide that some must have been caught outside.
By the time I figured out what was happening, I was pretty much doomed.

Also, on my first ever fortress (I'm new) I forgot to build a farm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 01:11:20 am
Quote from: FlickerFly on April 28, 2012, 01:09:03 am
I decide to try out kobold camp.
After a couple of tries, I get a nice stable dirt-fort.
A large ambush of elvish spearmen comes over.
I close the door.
Then the merchants which were in the fort at the time decide to leave, opening the doors.
They come in, slaughtering my puny kobolds.
I am in another part of the fort at the time, and decide that some must have been caught outside.
By the time I figured out what was happening, I was pretty much doomed.

Also, on my first ever fortress (I'm new) I forgot to build a farm.

Welcome to the kobold-family, we embrace you in open arms.


Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on April 28, 2012, 03:53:44 am
First ambush of this fortress. A bunch of spears and a bowgoblin. My militia is clad in steel, melee dwarfs with two mail coats, a breastplate and two cloaks. Apparently it's cardboard. Especially the bowgoblin lays about him. Including my sheriff/militia commander who was charging as the bowgob was torturing a swordsdwarf. The bowgoblin turned, loosed one arrow which pierced two cloaks, a breastplate and two mail shirts to tear the middle spine nervous tissue. The MCom fell at the goblin's feet.

The hell am I even making steel armour for? Just to slow them down?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on April 28, 2012, 06:53:03 am
yes, archers are over powered
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ObeseHelmet on April 28, 2012, 09:37:17 pm
I set my crafters to make stone crafts, mugs and cabochons to trade to the elven caravan. Totally clogged up my stockpiles, and was praying for the day I could dump it for loads of plants, booze, cloth and exotic animals.

Turns out this world only has dwarves and kobolds.

. . .
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bartinyou on April 29, 2012, 02:04:49 am
Urist McMedicalDwarf keeps using adamantine thread to suture wounded soldiers.  One soldier had 6 adamantine sutures in him, literally making him the 6 million dollar  man dwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reudh on April 29, 2012, 03:35:41 am
Our broker took a bath in infernal ash. She promptly exploded into a mess.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrButtchicker on April 29, 2012, 09:43:08 pm
I'm starting to think this militia vamps vs. web shooting demon battle with no foreseeable end that lasted for four years is starting to make my dwarves unhappy. I don't know, but I'm not releasing those soon to be berserk dwarves from eternal captivity anytime soon.

EDIT: One of the dwarves went mad, they escaped, and they hate cats. That noble man just ended the catsplosion with his epic military skills.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CandyOreVein on April 30, 2012, 12:13:42 am
"Urist McFails cancles collect webs. Webbed."  *FACEPALM

There is no words to express the fail this dwarf has set upon my fort. I burned him alive in magma. I then cycled the meat of that dwarf into the local dwarven syrip roast supply.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TSTwizby on April 30, 2012, 12:32:19 am
Quote from: MaximumZero on April 27, 2012, 11:58:58 pm
Oh, hey, here's one from the wayback machine.

The day I upgraded my computer from an ancient Celeron D to the AMD 1090T Six core. I also went from 1GB RAM to 8. (Apparently, the biggest impact on my speed was the extreme cache upgrade.) Also, my FPS on my carefully selected, excessive item culled, no moving water or magma, anti-fps drain 2x2 map went from ~16 to over 200,000. The siege that hit me right after I loaded the save lasted less than a second, and I lost 190 dorfs. My reaction?

O_O OMFGWAT?

Then I remembered that I had the FPS uncapped.

*facepalm*

I wish this would happen to me. I've got a fort of 50 dwarves, and I'm lucky if my FPS gets above 40, despite 4GB RAM. Of course, I'm in the middle of a megaproject, which might affect things somewhat...

Which brings me to my facepalm. I'm working with very limited stone resources, and trying to build a huge stone disk on top of a pillar overlooking a volcano. There's a pump stack set up in the middle of this pillar. I spend about a year in game, and about 10 hours out of game setting everything up when I realise that granite is not in fact magma safe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on April 30, 2012, 02:36:34 am
Remember, I went from a (now) 8 year old intel Celeron D to an AMD 1090T six core. Everything saw massive speed increases.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Himmelblau on April 30, 2012, 02:56:36 am
Quote from: Garath on April 28, 2012, 06:53:03 am
yes, archers are over powered
I particularly like how elite archers shoot accurately through fortifications that are 10 tiles away. I was so baffled when I first saw they do that, I was certain that I had forgotten to build fortifications in the first place.

Also, @TSTwizby: your signature's a little off, the first line seems to be misquoted to Sabreur instead of simonthedwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TSTwizby on April 30, 2012, 02:59:46 am
...you're right. Not sure how that happened. Thanks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fenrisson on April 30, 2012, 03:23:38 am
Quote from: Himmelblau on April 30, 2012, 02:56:36 am
Quote from: Garath on April 28, 2012, 06:53:03 am
yes, archers are over powered
I particularly like how elite archers shoot accurately through fortifications that are 10 tiles away. I was so baffled when I first saw they do that, I was certain that I had forgotten to build fortifications in the first place.

Also, @TSTwizby: your signature's a little off, the first line seems to be misquoted to Sabreur instead of simonthedwarf.

Well they can if they are skilled enough - so can your dwarfs... but yeah I hate that too. let em at least get a penalty and not ignore the defenses completely!


I dont care how good you are - 10 decent Marksdwarfs fully armored, with iron Bolts, behind fortifications one z-level up, firing down at a single (Master)-Bowgoblin. Falling one by one to the bastard, and whats even worse - u cannot help 'em because everybody going up into the fortifications is shot the instant he putting his head through the hatch...

Legolas the Goblin???
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on May 01, 2012, 01:26:02 am
First one: Temporary dirt fort, just finished the stone fort 60z lower, between the 2 cavern layers. I delete my meeting zone, add a meeting hall in my new legendary dining room. The moment everyone gets down there...

THE DEAD WALK.

The facepalm? I hadn't moved the lever yet. 60z to climb, and twice as far to walk to get around the cavern to the lever to lock up the fort. They made it in.

Second one: No military yet, only a dozen dwarves. THE DEAD WALK. Lock down the fort, start pumping out traps and whatnot to try and create a hall to kill them all off and reclaim the surface before the caravan arrives. After a minute, I realize, no FPS drop. Check the u-menu...

5 zombies. Total. <<Enemy facepalm.

I send out my 6 miners. They kill 2 one at a time. Then the other 3 mob mine one at a time. <<My facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CandyOreVein on May 01, 2012, 03:11:25 am
Yeah miners are great fighters bait for FBs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fenrisson on May 02, 2012, 04:44:38 am
Hm, I had a similar Problem - 19 Dwarfs (5 children) Fort not yet secured  - I was in a desert bionome an wanted to secure my food/booze supply. In general a Great site with Flux, Gold, Iron...


I m getting my defenses ready, complaining about the slow work of my masons, when the Message strikes - THE DEAD WALK -


I panic setting burrows, trying to wall off my entrance, when I realize its just ONE human zombie...
 
"No Problem" I say - sending my woodcutter, hunter and miners in for the kill... they have just reached the surface, when all of a sudden my refuse Stockpile comes to life - damn Necro

FACE PALM - my Fort is overrun by dead camels and ravens...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scruffy on May 02, 2012, 11:49:51 am
I was training my militia in danger rooms again and a few months later I noticed that my militia commander was throwing a tantrum. (luckily the angry hammerlord clad in steel didn't wander to the living quarters.) Naturally I checked what was going on and noticed something strange in the dangerrooms surrounding the one he was using.

They were filled with kitten blood and dead cats or atleast what remains of them. (and 3 bloody dwarves sparring atop the traps :P ) It turns out that the hammerlord (ironically named Catten Basementmurders, the ultimate depression of the angels) loved cats for their aloofness and had been adopted by 43 little furballs which had one by one followed him to the traps. Atleast it explains why there had been a pack of cats following my squads every now and then.

After that I learned my lesson and began making every door near the darn place tightly closed. (But on the plus side, he doesn't really care about anything anymore.)
Edit: And now he died a few years later at the ripe age of 163.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: karloss99 on May 02, 2012, 01:45:54 pm
I send my militia commander to kill a horse.
She has killed 5 enemies so far, including a kobold thief.

She did not take that kick to the head so good...  :o

oh well...

Hey Urist McUseless you have been promoted to militia commander. Congratulations!

(note - my fort is a reclaim and has a military of 1. That alone is a facepalm on own right.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Goodguy3 on May 02, 2012, 03:57:41 pm
Backed up my region to take a peek into legends mode. Messed it up and subsequently erased one legendary hero and at least a decade worth of history from Zillithur   :(. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bartinyou on May 02, 2012, 04:20:27 pm
I set my GCS to stand up on a wall and shoot web down upon the goblins so they could not run when their ambush failed.  Unfortunately I didn't realize it had webbed a few stonefall traps.  5 haulers in the hospital later, I have moved the GCS to a different part of the ramparts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: arzzult on May 02, 2012, 08:34:06 pm
Quote from: Bartinyou on May 02, 2012, 04:20:27 pm
I set my GCS to stand up on a wall and shoot web down upon the goblins so they could not run when their ambush failed.  Unfortunately I didn't realize it had webbed a few stonefall traps.  5 haulers in the hospital later, I have moved the GCS to a different part of the ramparts.

Hmm, that is actually be a good way to train doctors.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on May 02, 2012, 11:17:45 pm
Okay, I gen a world. I look for an interesting dwarven civ with a normal monarch.

I find one and began scanning through legends with legends viewer and I find very interesting history.

A war with the elves. I embark with the sole goal of smothering the last city of elves in that civ. Almost every dwarf that comes to my civ has at least one elf on their kill list. A few have grizzly bears on their kill lists to boot.

I set up fortress and everything is okay for the first year. My first moody dwarf begins his construction after a single rock. But then I notice that I'm lacking in food due to the sudden super migration wave that I forgot to account for.

I send dwarves outside to hunt. There is a massive population of ravens in the area to kill off and one big old black bear.

That moment. CURSE ALL FRIENDS OF NATURE!

Oh shoot! Oh shoot! I forgot about them! And there are a bunch of dwarves outside. (Most of them are gathering wood.)

Just as I start to panic. Artifact is done. A gneiss mechanism, Mukarlir. Somewhat useful, what's the name mean?  :-\ "The Sad Climax"

DF just gave me its equivalent to a "screw you" didn't it? Either way, I managed to salvage the situation and caught a couple of the elves in cages. I also flipped one with the bridge, but he didn't even get a scratch. However, he hightailed it to the edge of the map afterwards.

"The Sad Climax" my hairy dwarf chin! This is only the first act, you tree-hugging hippies!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on May 03, 2012, 12:33:02 am
Quote from: Bartinyou on May 02, 2012, 04:20:27 pm
I set my GCS to stand up on a wall and shoot web down upon the goblins so they could not run when their ambush failed.  Unfortunately I didn't realize it had webbed a few stonefall traps.  5 haulers in the hospital later, I have moved the GCS to a different part of the ramparts.

I'm pretty sure webbed stonefall traps are going to be a permanent feature of the medical training system in DF now
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on May 03, 2012, 12:59:58 am
Quote from: FlickerFly on April 28, 2012, 01:09:03 am
Also, on my first ever fortress (I'm new) I forgot to build a farm.
Happens.

After learning to start with building the farms, I forgot to turn off cooking for plants --> seeds got destroyed --> ‼Fun‼ ensued.  :-[
(This was before ver 0.34. I think cooking seed-bearing stuff is forbidden by default now.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JujuBubu on May 03, 2012, 06:50:32 am
Quote from: Sus on May 03, 2012, 12:59:58 am
Quote from: FlickerFly on April 28, 2012, 01:09:03 am
Also, on my first ever fortress (I'm new) I forgot to build a farm.
Happens.

After learning to start with building the farms, I forgot to turn off cooking for plants --> seeds got destroyed --> ‼Fun‼ ensued.  :-[
(This was before ver 0.34. I think cooking seed-bearing stuff is forbidden by default now.)


Nope :) It's still active at least for plump helmets.
As is Booze.

Ever cooked your whole booze stockpile without noticing ?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KaraMong on May 03, 2012, 09:40:42 am
Just had a Fire-breathing FB sneak into my fortress and burn down over 40 dwarves plus the human caravan on the trade depot. All this because i forgot to seal the stairwell that leads to the caverns...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bartinyou on May 03, 2012, 05:16:16 pm
In year 2 of my fort when I start setting up weapon traps with silver serrated discs (mainly for the wealth).  I was looking across the surface when I see some Giant Desert Scorpions.  I get super excited hoping they wonder into my cage traps.  Nope they beeline it towards the weapon traps and get torn to shreds.

These were the first GDS I have ever seen, 3rd or 4th fort on a savage desert biome.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aviator CJ on May 03, 2012, 08:13:19 pm
Quote from: KaraMong on May 03, 2012, 09:40:42 am
Just had a Fire-breathing FB sneak into my fortress and burn down over 40 dwarves plus the human caravan on the trade depot. All this because i forgot to seal the stairwell that leads to the caverns...

This happened to me once, but I lost about 200. Who'd have thought a closed door wouldn't hold back a fire-breathing kangaroo?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on May 04, 2012, 03:07:00 am
Not really my own stupidity, but it elicited a mental facepalm...

Legendary+5 stonecrafter gets a fey mood. Crafts a 61,500 urist marble crown.

Waste of a mood...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Himmelblau on May 04, 2012, 05:19:13 am
I just found out that armor decays if left in a stockpile that also accepts refuse.

Luckily I only hadn't gotten into steel or adamantine industry yet, but still...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on May 04, 2012, 10:02:29 am
dodge-pit trap might be too strongly trapped. Of the 6 test subjects to enter there, a total of 0 dodged anywhere. The rest died on the traps that also refuse to get jammed. Very succesfull, but not how I hoped it would be. rerunning design...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spinning Welshman on May 04, 2012, 01:48:49 pm
I just realised you can press "x" in the in the menu for building furniture to expand the list and select individual items, rather than just by material.

So much time wasted not knowing I could do that.  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on May 04, 2012, 06:24:45 pm
i wish i could go out glorious like you guys :(

im dying of thirst :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PCpaste on May 04, 2012, 06:56:24 pm
My adventurer, a legendary swordsman, killer of titans and dragons, was on her way to kill yet another mountain titan... When she was confronted by a river. No big deal, right? She's practacally an olympic swimmer.

As soon as she entered the river, a giant sponge attacked her. In her head. Needless to say, she died. Instantly.

She was fully clad in steel that took a very long time to procure, too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SirAaronIII on May 04, 2012, 08:39:57 pm
This is an old one, but back when I had just started, I heard so many great things about those "atom smashers" and just had to try one for myself. So I built a bridge, linked it up to a lever, and then q-a-P-r.

Of course, I didn't know that you had to make it a raising bridge, so it just retracted a whole bunch. All the rocks were flying around everywhere.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shoruke on May 05, 2012, 02:38:53 am
I facepalmed on behalf of the FB that managed to kill itself by swimming around in a pond that it was filling with its own toxic secretions...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Allagon on May 05, 2012, 09:13:53 am
I was playing with Masterwork DF as an frost giant adventurer. All was going good, had killed werewolves, became a geomancer, and now I was on my way to kill a dragon. I was excited, since it was the first time I did so well. I get to the cave and instakill the dragon throwing my slade shield (It hit his head). I gather up the loot, and see there's a human town to the north. I'm travelling there when a GDS ambushes me. I kill it quite easily, using my geomancer powers. I try to fast-travel but it says "You don't feel safe enough to travel". I decided to just walk the rest of the way, when I suddenly see I'm melting. I then realize the area where I was was called "The Sands of Emptiness". I try to find a lake or murky pool, but fail and promptly melt to death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on May 05, 2012, 02:48:23 pm
+1 socks
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on May 05, 2012, 05:29:35 pm
Checking out my fort in Stonesense. One of my dwarves is wearing only a pair of bright red socks and a pair of sandals. His thoughts says he is pretty okay with being otherwise naked.

I looked at his quirks. He loves to defy convention, obviously. He is modest, obviously not.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gutierrez on May 05, 2012, 11:24:43 pm
So the fortress celebrates Goblin Christmas and I get a few injuries on some good solders and a legendary armorer that somehow missed my burrowing.  The get taken to the hospital, no problem.  Except Goblin Christmas came in Winter.  All the ponds are frozen, so no way to wash them or offer them water from above.  The miners say it's not a problem they'll just cut through into the cave and we can make a well...  Guess what notification I forgot?  Right after they punch through what decides to say 'Hi' via syndrome dust and the ability to fly right up the well shaft right before it's finished? A forgotten beast.  Who dusts my crossbowmen in the stair shaft goes right up into the dorms right before dying.  Miasma pouring dwarf-puddles everywhere.

Yeah, you'd think I'd remember the FB announce...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: chevil on May 06, 2012, 06:27:24 am
(http://i.imgur.com/mw9SO.jpg)
i had this idea for a forts defence where the entrance to the fort is a long trench with a ballista battery and ending one z-level below.

\__________________________                Balistae
                                            \_________Door

the idea was to force invaders to run throug ballistae fire to reach my door where my meeledwarves would be waiting with markdwarves near the ballistae to suport them. shortly after i had everithing set up and a military a twoheaded giant comes and i set everything up. the giant enters the trench and i pause give my fisherdwarves/"siege operators" the order to fire, looked at the giant and unpaused. when i saw no projectiles flying i paused again and looked at my ballistaes and i saw that they had fired. i was like wtf but then i noticed the dead markdwarves. the only two casualties from this encounter were from friendly fire.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bmaczero on May 06, 2012, 02:24:10 pm
I was trying to build a cistern where I could store water from one of the murky pools on my map.  I had it mostly done when autumn hit and the water froze.  No problem, I said.  I'll just channel some lava from the nearby volcano into a chamber underneath the pool to melt it.  That went well (surprise!).  The water starts flowing.  I go to the cistern (9 or 10 z-levels below) and discover that I have forgotten water pressure.  The 30-odd block pool has flowed up a staircase from the pump room, filled the well room, and trickled into the cistern through the well.  Great, now it's had stagnant water in it.  I guess I'll just make it deeper and not fill the top level.  I designate the floor of the cistern to be channeled - while it's covered in 1/7 stagnant water.  It falls down to the new level.  Great, now that one' stagnant, too. Plus the murky pool re-froze when the water reached 1/7 and refuses to melt again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on May 07, 2012, 12:35:17 am
Decided to try my hand at adventure mode. Go north, find a tomb. Pick the lock. Open the casket.

Oh. So that's why there's 30 corpses in this room.

Best part? Mummy raised my corpse, and it killed my companions :-D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on May 07, 2012, 06:24:08 am
practice on some wildlife first, like rabbits
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on May 07, 2012, 11:13:06 am
Quote from: Garath on May 07, 2012, 06:24:08 am
practice on some wildlife first, like rabbits

Ya, I'd fought some boars on the way in, just didn't click that the mummy would raise em:p

There wasn't a facepalm thread in that forum that I saw, by the way, which is why I stuck it in here :p
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HiEv on May 07, 2012, 02:16:49 pm
OK, my last siege didn't go so well.  I won, but my military was cut in half (though they took out about three goblins/trolls for every dwarf that went down).

So, since I didn't have time to get a new military up in time for the next siege, I planned ahead and made sure I could wait out the next siege.  I built a couple of bridges across the river that cut my map in half (getting rid of the old floor across it that I was using), hooked 'em up to some levers, and made sure everything I needed was inside (sadly, I didn't have time to enclose my pastures either).

Anyways, the elves show up to trade, and shortly after they get inside "A Vile Force of Darkness Has Arrived!"  After the siegers all get on the map, they're over 100 strong (including mounts), which I could never have handled.  After wiping out all of my pastured animals, all of the siegers are on the opposite side of the river from me, except for the general's mounted squad.  So, seeing a good opportunity, I pull up the bridges, leaving only 16 mounted combatants on my side of the river.

The goblin general, mounted on his giant toad sits with his squad near the edge of the river for a while.  I come back a while later and the general is on the other side of the river somehow.  "Huh? ... Oh!  He's mounted on a giant toad!  That's probably how.  Hmmm... wouldn't it be funny if..."  The words were barely out of my mouth when the toad crossed halfway back across the river with the general astride it, and it stopped there.  In the middle of the river.  Underwater.

Yeah, the general of the army attacking me drowned in the river because of his stupid amphibious mount.  I've never facepalmed in joy before.  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on May 07, 2012, 02:49:21 pm
the recruit that has been imprisoned is happier than his squad mates. Some people will do anything to escape military service...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kiselomlqko on May 09, 2012, 04:24:26 am
A siege occurs; I decree that only soldiers can go outside.

Every plebe dwarf three squares from the entrance runs further outside and has their legs broken and dogs murdered by hammergoblins.

I guess if dwarves are already outside they don't think to run inside past all the cage traps they put in for just this purpose.

It is for this reason that I read 'Fisherdwarf' as 'Lone Victim'.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Johuotar on May 09, 2012, 06:08:07 am
Overseer cancels play Dwarf Fortress, blinded by Microcline Trade Depot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Culise on May 09, 2012, 07:50:10 pm
Embarked to a temperate area, high savagery, evil biome as maybe my third or fourth fort, no experience with military or siegeworks.  Hilarity enough, right?  Not according to my dwarves, because halfway through digging out a safe point to put everything underground before the first weather hits (which is what wrecked my first attempt at an evil embark), I suddenly get interrupted with a death message saying my (only) mason drowned.  Confused, I go back up to the surface and look over to my wagon...or where my wagon used to be.  Turns out that the dwarves parked the wagon right on a small frozen lake; the ice melted and dropped all of my supplies except one or two barrels and a roll of rope into the drink, along with my mason.

Since then, I've always checked where the wagon is parked first thing if it's winter. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on May 09, 2012, 08:31:08 pm
Made a little execution chamber for the resident vampire... it took me a while to find the bastard.

It was a self-triggering one, with a nice little lever for him to pull - 'cept I forgot to set the profile.

Yeeaaaah. Thankfully I caught it in time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on May 09, 2012, 08:45:30 pm
Quote from: Culise on May 09, 2012, 07:50:10 pm
Embarked to a temperate area, high savagery, evil biome as maybe my third or fourth fort, no experience with military or siegeworks.  Hilarity enough, right?  Not according to my dwarves, because halfway through digging out a safe point to put everything underground before the first weather hits (which is what wrecked my first attempt at an evil embark), I suddenly get interrupted with a death message saying my (only) mason drowned.  Confused, I go back up to the surface and look over to my wagon...or where my wagon used to be.  Turns out that the dwarves parked the wagon right on a small frozen lake; the ice melted and dropped all of my supplies except one or two barrels and a roll of rope into the drink, along with my mason.

Since then, I've always checked where the wagon is parked first thing if it's winter.

At this point it has to be agreed that Dwarves are in fact the worst drivers in the history of the universe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on May 09, 2012, 08:50:55 pm
TURN LEFT DAMMIT!

NO I LIKE THIS LAKE THE ICE IS THICK ENOUGH!

NO IT IS NOT ITS GONNA MELT!!

NO!

YES!

*urist mcmason has drowned*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scruffy on May 10, 2012, 02:45:35 pm
Well, atleast your cargo is safe from kobolds now. A dead mason, meh. Dwarves are a renewable resource and ment to be "used". (Unless it is a evil biome. Then they will be "reusable".)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on May 10, 2012, 02:50:59 pm
Quote from: bukitodinos on May 09, 2012, 08:50:55 pm
TURN LEFT DAMMIT!

NO I LIKE THIS LAKE THE ICE IS THICK ENOUGH!

NO IT IS NOT ITS GONNA MELT!!

NO!

YES!

*urist mcmason has drowned*

Urist McSmartass siddles over

"is this a good time to tell you about traffic designations?"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on May 10, 2012, 03:24:12 pm
Ready animal man killing room. forget that mothmen can fly.

facepalm and order nearby herbalist to kill it.

Not lifethreatening, but it was a pretty big facepalm, since the hole it got out of was a flop of a caravan tunnel.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: casper2222 on May 10, 2012, 04:56:20 pm
turns out i had an incoming goblin siege... i drafted all my dwarves into the military and equipped them... u would think the goblins were the threat... my first brave dwarf donned his steel armor and steel mace... and went beserk... i thought oh well... it wont be too bad wont it... the other dwarfs are equipping aswell... i had a population of 50 dwarfs... he slaughtered every single one of em... then the goblins came... poor goblins... none escaped... i will never look the same at a carpenter again...  *edit* afterwards the carpenter drowned...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MHpersonalDwarf on May 10, 2012, 07:25:03 pm
I was making a main drainage system for my reservoir in case I needed to drain it to widen the intake or whatever. Instead of channeling each Z-level at a time for the long vertical 2x2 pipe, I just chose to channel the entire thing at once, leading to a lot of cave-ins and a couple broken bones, but no biggie. I expected it.

Fast forward ten years when a whole lot of goblins and forgotten beasts decide to attack. I had (supposedly) sealed off the caverns  from the three or so forgotten beasts that festered there because I didn't have the strength after my military was attacked by one which fired fireballs (which caused their booze rations to catch on fire and explode, causing what is akin to a hand grenade malfunction)

My fortress is halved in population by now, and after (barely) surviving a goblin siege, I look in my fortress and see webs everywhere.

"Wait what"

A forgotten spiderbeast had climbed up through the drain, which emptied into the caverns (with a maintenance staircase no less!) because of the imperfections making it essentially a very curvy system of ramps. Facepalm moment one. I killed it off and yadda yadda, fortress was dwindling.

ANOTHER SIEGE. This one with a whole lotta trolls! My elite archers managed to pick most off, and I actually got the drawbridges up before anything really bad happened! Then I noticed my emergency mayoral escape tunnel's exit's door was missing. And it's hatch. Facepalm #2, totally forgetting Trolls could destroy anything they damn well pleased. I actually fought them off, though!

Built walls in place of those doors in that emergency mayor thingy, and placed a pickaxe in my mayor's office so if s/he needed it to break open onto the outside world, s/he could. Handy-dandy. All of the forgotten beasts were at bay by destroying some important staircases, as well. Everything was fine.

Cut to another siege. Bridges up, everything okay. Trolls get in. How? A drawbridge that I used as the door to our waterwheel generator, which pretty much led into our pump stack. Cue goblin siege killing everyone, because I didn't think of putting a moat there. Facepalm 3. Brainpath the Metropolis was now a smoldering heap of dead bodies. All of this happened in one or two years.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrButtchicker on May 11, 2012, 12:32:01 am
Kib Adolthob, Miner, has created Mishakdanman Betansemor, a adamatine war hammer!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pare on May 11, 2012, 01:55:28 am
My fortress has endured for over six years, and fought off some sieges and a couple of titans. With the fortress rolling pretty much on its own, I decide to breach the first cavern, and send one 10-strong squad to guard the entrance. I didn't build FB traps as I thought I'd have time.

I didn't check whether there were any beasts in the caverns as I positioned the squad right at the entrance. After the breach I check the unit list, and there is one forgotten beast (which I had forgotten *bdum-tsih*), made of glass and with webs. No problem, I think, as the squad is expendable anyway, and they probably should be able to handle it at least for long enough to get some proper defenses done, or at least raise the drawbridge before the beast gets to it.

The FB seemed to be content not to invade for some time so I did some other building on the upper layers, and then realize there's a combat report. It seems that one marksdwarf in the squad was webbed and killed. Hm? No other reports?

It seems that the squad had positioned itself just so that there was a way into my corridor without them noticing. The one marksdwarf was the latecomer who met the beast in the corridor. The FB is now in the corridor, the military squad is behind it in the cavern, and I probably don't have time to raise my drawbridge before the FB gets past it. *facepalm*

I can probably delay it enough for it not to slaughter the whole fortress.
 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on May 11, 2012, 02:16:37 pm
A yak just kicked my weaponsmith/cook into a volcano.
On the bright side, I just uncovered the magma sea about ten minutes after embark.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrButtchicker on May 12, 2012, 01:35:01 am
*looks at artifacts*
mirstalkol Nazomlir, Velvetywheel the Dreamy Climax, a adamantine battle axe
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reudh on May 12, 2012, 01:53:17 am
That's a pretty good artifact, actually.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: vicwarrior on May 12, 2012, 04:17:13 am
Quote from: MrButtchicker on May 12, 2012, 01:35:01 am
*looks at artifacts*
mirstalkol Nazomlir, Velvetywheel the Dreamy Climax, a adamantine battle axe

That is one of the best weapons you will ever get, i don't think it should be in this topic.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrButtchicker on May 12, 2012, 10:32:36 am
Look at the name. (its not an artifact, someone grew attached to it.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: adasdad on May 12, 2012, 08:47:40 pm
heh heh the great axe of innuendo
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrButtchicker on May 12, 2012, 10:15:44 pm
I decided to go all out and built some pump stacks. Aquifers are the Worst way to lose, period.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Karranir on May 12, 2012, 10:22:23 pm
The moment I read 'baguette cut gem'... FACEPALM.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Culise on May 12, 2012, 10:52:52 pm
Really?  It's actually a rather common rectangular-fashioned step gem cut, right up there with the emerald cut (which is basically a baguette with the corners trimmed).  Mind you, it's never used for anything more than an accent, but it's very lovely nonetheless.
Then again, dwarf bread is supposed to be hard enough that you could cut diamonds with it...

For my part, I ran into the waterfall bug.  I got my first batch of migrants on the wrong side of a canyon river, and while I was building a quick bridge to get them across, they decided to drop by the tributary river that flowed into the canyon for a drink, and instead dropped into the drink.  Lost half of them that way, and since it was so early in the year, I decided to put together half a dozen proper coffins and wait until winter (when the rivers freeze) to retrieve the bodies.  I literally barely made it as the ghosts started appearing in my stockpile, which freaked out one of the poor survivors (whose wife was among those who went over, which was also still worrying him).  Ah, fun times, and not even a year in.  Shame the evil weather turned out to be another wash (a light fever, really?).  What I really want are husks and hilarity, maybe spontaneous regeneration of undead, all sorts of instant fun. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: superkret on May 14, 2012, 06:36:25 am
I embarked in a wonderful biome full of metals and ores, right next to a volcano. My dwarves feared there might be dangerous wildlife around, so they brought weapons and bronze armor instead of food and booze. After all, you can harvest plants and brew drinks when you arrive, right?
Well, when they got there, everything shiny and bronze-colored was immediately stolen by keas. And the landscape was hidden under a thick layer of snow, so no plants to gather. It just turned into a race against time to dig down, plow a farm plot and get some plump helmets before everyone dehydrates (or dealcohols).
The dwarves were almost dying when finally Urist Brewer announced he had brewed drinks from the complete first season's harvest of mushrooms.

He then rolled the barrels out and DROPPED THEM IN A SWAMP!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on May 14, 2012, 06:50:46 pm
Quote from: superkret on May 14, 2012, 06:36:25 am
I embarked in a wonderful biome full of metals and ores, right next to a volcano. My dwarves feared there might be dangerous wildlife around, so they brought weapons and bronze armor instead of food and booze. After all, you can harvest plants and brew drinks when you arrive, right?
Well, when they got there, everything shiny and bronze-colored was immediately stolen by keas. And the landscape was hidden under a thick layer of snow, so no plants to gather. It just turned into a race against time to dig down, plow a farm plot and get some plump helmets before everyone dehydrates (or dealcohols).
The dwarves were almost dying when finally Urist Brewer announced he had brewed drinks from the complete first season's harvest of mushrooms.

He then rolled the barrels out and DROPPED THEM IN A SWAMP!

I am pretty sure that you can gather plants even when they are covered by the embark snow.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 07:14:13 pm
Yes, you can gather snowy plants. So kind of a double face palm there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on May 14, 2012, 07:40:06 pm
my idiot dorfs parked the wagon over a snow covered river
no wonder they sent them to die...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on May 15, 2012, 09:36:01 am
dwarven wagon drivers are notorious
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on May 15, 2012, 08:16:42 pm
the elves just "gave" me a giant lepord A BREEDING PAIR!! of giant lepords. who needs millita?
when i can have a army of giant war lepords?

wait...shit forgot to turn off exotic animals...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on May 15, 2012, 09:50:41 pm
Assuming my dwarves needed ramps to use wheelbarrows, I build an elaborate ramp system so they can access everything.

Then I see them taking the stairs with the wheelbarrows in tow, empty, and full.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on May 15, 2012, 10:01:12 pm
Quote from: rtg593 on May 15, 2012, 09:50:41 pm
Assuming my dwarves needed ramps to use wheelbarrows, I build an elaborate ramp system so they can access everything.

Then I see them taking the stairs with the wheelbarrows in tow, empty, and full.

But at least now you have an elaborate ramp system!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on May 15, 2012, 10:02:50 pm
Send dwarves to kill gorlak that keeps interrupting things.

Lose three dwarves. Cue string of trantrums and food being thrown around.

Oh, and run in with a GSC. Wonder why miner is not being cleaned and stitched up, realize this layer lacks water.  *headdesk x4*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheCoolSideofthePIllow on May 15, 2012, 11:22:05 pm
I just noticed that my dwarves somehow managed to build a wheelbarrow into a wall.

..________
,.-‘”.~.,
..,.-”..“-.,
.,/..”:,
,?\,
./..,}
../,:`^`..}
/,:”/
..?..__..:`../
./__.(..“~-,_,:`./
../(_.”~,_..“~,_..,:`.._/
.{.._$;_”=,_.“-,_.,.-~-,},.~”;/.}
..((..*~_.”=-._“;,,./`./”../
,,,___.\`~,“~.,..`..}../
(.`=-,,.`(;_,,-”
/.`~,`-.\/\
.\`~.*-,.|,./..\,__
,,_.}.>-._\..|..`=~-,
..`=~-,_\_`\,\
.`=~-,,.\,.\
..`:,,`\..__
.`=-,.,%`>==
._\.._,-%.`\
..,< `.._|_,-&``................`\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on May 16, 2012, 01:17:25 am
Quote from: bukitodinos on May 15, 2012, 08:16:42 pm
the elves just "gave" me a giant lepord A BREEDING PAIR!! of giant lepords. who needs millita?
when i can have a army of giant war lepords?

wait...shit forgot to turn off exotic animals...

if playing 34.0? (forgot which one), exotics breed and since elves gave them to you, they don't need taming. I'm also pretty sure you can go into the save raws and edit them out there. I once edited them so snake eggs would hatch and it worked.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DTF on May 16, 2012, 03:19:50 am
I just realized (after years of playing DF) that you can designate digging areas over multiple z-levels by simply selecting the starting tile on the first z-level, going down the wished number of levels and then selecting the ending tile on the last level.

All the precious time wasted by stoicly designating stairs, going down a level, designating stairs, going down a level, etc like a robot. I always knew about the macro stuff, but never bothered to use it... but this, boy I feel like a caveman who miraculously got his hands on a futuristic fusion self-powered jackhammer and then used it like a deformed pickaxe to smash stone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RexMundi on May 16, 2012, 03:24:09 am
Quote from: DTF on May 16, 2012, 03:19:50 am
I just realized (after years of playing DF) that you can designate digging areas over multiple z-levels by simply selecting the starting tile on the first z-level, going down the wished number of levels and then selecting the ending tile on the last level.

All the precious time wasted by stoicly designating stairs, going down a level, designating stairs, going down a level, etc like a robot. I always knew about the macro stuff, but never bothered to use it... but this, boy I feel like a caveman who miraculously got his hands on a futuristic fusion self-powered jackhammer and then used it like a deformed pickaxe to smash stone.
Actually, that's new as of the last major version IIRC  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on May 16, 2012, 07:01:07 am
Quote from: Garath on May 16, 2012, 01:17:25 am
Quote from: bukitodinos on May 15, 2012, 08:16:42 pm
the elves just "gave" me a giant lepord A BREEDING PAIR!! of giant lepords. who needs millita?
when i can have a army of giant war lepords?

wait...shit forgot to turn off exotic animals...

if playing 34.0? (forgot which one), exotics breed and since elves gave them to you, they don't need taming. I'm also pretty sure you can go into the save raws and edit them out there. I once edited them so snake eggs would hatch and it worked.

YES IT WORKS!! THANK YOU MY GOOD MAN! now to make my lepord army!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HiEv on May 16, 2012, 01:25:05 pm
Quote from: TheCoolSideofthePIllow on May 15, 2012, 11:22:05 pm
I just noticed that my dwarves somehow managed to build a wheelbarrow into a wall.

Yeah, that's a bug that will be fixed in the next release:

Bug #5879 (http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/mantisbt/view.php?id=5879): Wheelbarrow gets stuck on wall
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheCoolSideofthePIllow on May 17, 2012, 01:43:33 am
I noticed that my mayor had a [DEMAND] for the first time in my experience.

Demands: Green glass bed in Dining Room.

ಠ_ಠ

Time to test my new dungeon.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on May 17, 2012, 04:33:41 am
Quote from: TheCoolSideofthePIllow on May 17, 2012, 01:43:33 am
I noticed that my mayor had a [DEMAND] for the first time in my experience.

Demands: Green glass bed in Dining Room.

ಠ_ಠ

Time to test my new dungeon.

Unfulfilled demands do not end in prison for anyone.  They just end in the noble getting huffy and possibly throwing a tantrum.  Make sure they are happy otherwise, and they will gladly forget about their failed demands.  Also, I think happy nobles make fewer demands.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weenog on May 17, 2012, 05:20:26 am
Didn't like the staircase from my walled aboveground statue garden/cave adaptation fighter extending through the ceiling of the office below, so I constructed floors there to seal it up, thinking they'd only seal off the lower level.  Snack bar ran out, and I was too busy fighting off a siege to notice anything amiss until a couple dozen dwarves died of thirst.  Whoops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scruffy on May 17, 2012, 11:21:48 am
A moody dwarf created an artifact gold spear (full of pictures of dwarves surrounded by hamsters and elves taming bobcats) which I gave it to one of my militia commanders. Year later that same soldier started tantrumming from the lack of shoes (seems like he didnt know how to put them on since there were dozens of them) and killed the weaponsmith with the very same artifact spear he made.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on May 17, 2012, 11:39:17 am
he probably wanted socks
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pare on May 18, 2012, 12:56:30 am
I started a new fortress without too many requirements on the site. The plan is to BLOT OUT THE SUN, so all I really need is a relatively flat area and stones, and I think most sites have enough stones. (This is 34.07 still, because the stone -> block -> floor pipeline is more familiar to me in that, and being familiar with it makes this somewhat big project a bit easier.)

Usually my embarks contain just copper ores, so I'm happy to see hematite this time. I kit out some militia with iron, but I'm somewhat sad about the lack of flux, as I'd really like some steel.

I play for some (game) years, that is, a few days real-time. All the while building the sunroof out of mostly chalk blocks.

Yesterday I started thinking "what were the flux stones anyway?". You can probably see the face-palm right there.

As I don't want to bother myself too much with the invasions, the entry corridor is pretty trapped, though. Steel will be nicer, though, although it means dedicating some of the masons to smelter duty.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JTTCOTE on May 18, 2012, 04:00:16 am
I channeled a tile.
See the facepalm? I didn't either.

I channeled a tile to let a murky pool flow over a volcano. The water spread out, and flowed diagonally to create an obsidian that instantly fell. This acted as a magma piston and pushed up some magma onto the top, where it formed obsidian. This happened a few times and made a line of obsidian. The water spread further and made an obsidian platform beyond that. I was very careful, I dug inside the obsidian layer. Then I noticed the obsidian on top, so I dug that too. Facepalm incoming.

I dug the obsidian, the whole line caved in, taking the obsidian walls guarding my tunnel with it and flooding my for with magma.

Ah, the fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nopil3os on May 18, 2012, 06:09:15 pm
fixed 25% chance of a stone tile yielding a stone after mining yet OF COURSE the obsidian clogging the floodgate after an accident involving magma and water yields a stone, subsequently continuing to clogg the floodgate and allow more magma to pour out..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on May 18, 2012, 06:10:44 pm
Turns out you can copy/paste military commands...  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ClkWrkJester on May 18, 2012, 06:29:14 pm
Didn't notice that I'd left a hatch, not a floor, over my path to the caverns. Then without really thinking, I built my Child Care pen.

Right where the hatch was.Seems I forgot about Building Destroyers, which I remembered rather quickly after a cave croc tore a bloody path through my fort's babies. Just grabbin' and shakin'
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xheia on May 18, 2012, 06:49:48 pm
Not sure how facepalm worthy this is, but I realized that Sunshine was a play on words with moonshine.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Waparius on May 19, 2012, 01:15:52 am
A pair of necromancers show up at my second post-minecart-update fort, complete with a hundred-odd undead.

"Oh no! I only have two squads of militia! Everybody inside! Raise the drawbridge!"

Pause.

"Where's the lever that raises the drawbridge?"

When I was down to three dwarves, I ordered the militia to run to the edge of the map, so I could at least imagine they had a chance of survival when I hit "succumb to the invasion". The original expedition leader was the only one able to fight his way through the horde of shambling undead and escape, though one of his comrades wound up stuck on top of a pillar for some reason.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheCoolSideofthePIllow on May 19, 2012, 01:27:17 pm
Dwarf cancels job: construct cabinet - Item blocking site

The item that was blocking the site? The cabinet he had brought to put in that spot. -.-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bastus on May 19, 2012, 05:05:58 pm
More than enough Stonecrafters in my Fort.
*Butcher withdraws from society*
Legendary Stonecrafter+ worthless artifact Toy Hammer.

Why do I never get these with my Smiths?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on May 19, 2012, 09:47:54 pm
Quote from: RexMundi on May 16, 2012, 03:24:09 am
Quote from: DTF on May 16, 2012, 03:19:50 am
I just realized (after years of playing DF) that you can designate digging areas over multiple z-levels by simply selecting the starting tile on the first z-level, going down the wished number of levels and then selecting the ending tile on the last level.

All the precious time wasted by stoicly designating stairs, going down a level, designating stairs, going down a level, etc like a robot. I always knew about the macro stuff, but never bothered to use it... but this, boy I feel like a caveman who miraculously got his hands on a futuristic fusion self-powered jackhammer and then used it like a deformed pickaxe to smash stone.
Actually, that's new as of the last major version IIRC  :P
You can!?! PRAISE THE MINERS!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JTTCOTE on May 20, 2012, 05:37:33 am
Quote from: misko27 on May 19, 2012, 09:47:54 pm
Quote from: RexMundi on May 16, 2012, 03:24:09 am
Quote from: DTF on May 16, 2012, 03:19:50 am
I just realized (after years of playing DF) that you can designate digging areas over multiple z-levels by simply selecting the starting tile on the first z-level, going down the wished number of levels and then selecting the ending tile on the last level.

All the precious time wasted by stoicly designating stairs, going down a level, designating stairs, going down a level, etc like a robot. I always knew about the macro stuff, but never bothered to use it... but this, boy I feel like a caveman who miraculously got his hands on a futuristic fusion self-powered jackhammer and then used it like a deformed pickaxe to smash stone.
Actually, that's new as of the last major version IIRC  :P
You can!?! PRAISE THE MINERS!
You can!?! PRAISE THE MINERS!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bilanthri on May 20, 2012, 12:25:38 pm
Quote from: JTTCOTE on May 20, 2012, 05:37:33 am
Quote from: misko27 on May 19, 2012, 09:47:54 pm
Quote from: RexMundi on May 16, 2012, 03:24:09 am
Quote from: DTF on May 16, 2012, 03:19:50 am
I just realized (after years of playing DF) that you can designate digging areas over multiple z-levels by simply selecting the starting tile on the first z-level, going down the wished number of levels and then selecting the ending tile on the last level.

All the precious time wasted by stoicly designating stairs, going down a level, designating stairs, going down a level, etc like a robot. I always knew about the macro stuff, but never bothered to use it... but this, boy I feel like a caveman who miraculously got his hands on a futuristic fusion self-powered jackhammer and then used it like a deformed pickaxe to smash stone.
Actually, that's new as of the last major version IIRC  :P
You can!?! PRAISE THE MINERS!
You can!?! PRAISE THE MINERS!

If I remember correctly, this is a fairly new addition. Certainly makes those stairwells to HFS easier to set up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: yamgrenade on May 21, 2012, 04:35:33 pm
That awkward moment when you google HFS and find out what it means. No longer HIDDEN.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Viking on May 21, 2012, 07:26:03 pm
After a few years of playing realizing you can move around faster when using any selection tool by clicking shift on top of the arrow keys.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on May 21, 2012, 07:52:52 pm
Quote from: Viking on May 21, 2012, 07:26:03 pm
After a few years of playing realizing you can move around faster when using any selection tool by clicking shift on top of the arrow keys.
Oh hell yes!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ObeseHelmet on May 21, 2012, 08:03:44 pm
Decided to dig out an underground lake next to the meeting hall. Y'know, a water feature.

Except for that I had no floodgates. So the water just kept coming.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Viking on May 21, 2012, 09:04:30 pm
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on May 21, 2012, 07:52:52 pm
Quote from: Viking on May 21, 2012, 07:26:03 pm
After a few years of playing realizing you can move around faster when using any selection tool by clicking shift on top of the arrow keys.
Oh hell yes!
I know, right? The game is instantly funner.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on May 22, 2012, 01:04:42 am
Page up and down keys... Oh yeah!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ObeseHelmet on May 22, 2012, 03:12:41 pm
Quote from: Edmus on May 22, 2012, 01:04:42 am
Page up and down keys... Oh yeah!

Blonde moment... what do those do?

And no, I am not blonde.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on May 22, 2012, 04:45:50 pm
Quote from: ObeseHelmet on May 22, 2012, 03:12:41 pm
Quote from: Edmus on May 22, 2012, 01:04:42 am
Page up and down keys... Oh yeah!

Blonde moment... what do those do?

And no, I am not blonde.
It's like the /,*,-,+ keys excepts it moves a page at a time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: yamgrenade on May 22, 2012, 06:59:02 pm
HOLY SHIT REALLY?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xheia on May 22, 2012, 07:15:17 pm
I just realized what the OP of this thread meant... at least I didn't make too many constructions yet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Amyamy on May 22, 2012, 10:16:40 pm
so i've only been playing for about a week. i've decided to start experimenting with the functions of bridges and the military and thought it'd also be a good idea to see if i can't make myself an indoor fishing facility. my goal was to cut myself off completely from the outside sans the occasional trade caravan coming in, and even then they'd have to go through a simple bridge airlock.

ANYWAY! there was a section of river very close to where i built my fort but, unlike the section i was currently using for fishing, this one was after a waterfall. while it was still winter and the river was frozen, i cut out the portion i was using for indoor fishing and put a bridge to close it off to a. invaders or b. if something went horribly wrong. and something did. when the river thawed, the waterfall poured and flooded the entire area i designated for fishing. unfortunately, the bridge wasn't linked yet and let's just say there's a lonely little dwarven kid whose father and father's friend was caught in an unfortunate waterfall incident.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on May 22, 2012, 10:18:11 pm
Mod in new armor and weapons,

Forget to enable them for dwarves.

Cue facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Corai on May 22, 2012, 10:20:23 pm
Get used to kobolds.

Stop being obsessed with kobolds. (A little bit.)

Forget that thief is not yours.

-1 artifact


FACEPALM.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on May 22, 2012, 11:03:04 pm
Ouch....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on May 23, 2012, 12:30:11 am
and thus perish all the kobold obsessed...

did the artifact creator go berserk?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scruffy on May 23, 2012, 03:16:51 pm
I had a rather successful terrifying/untamed biome border fortress (though the population had a couple 80% drops :P ) with zombie dust weather. Nasty stuff. Anyway, after nearly 8 years I decided start collecting the huge amounts of steel that the caravans had "forgotten" on the outside (I had no iron). I was bored having to deal with the dust on nearly each item I "borrow" from my generous (and deceased) friends so I decided to install a mist generator above my staging area near my main gate.

Everything worked fine until I realized that every darn cat, yak and puppy that decided to walk past it got infected by the dust on the floor. (Yes, I had pets in a fort that was mostly inside an evil biome)
This wouldn't have been a serious problem but some how one of my axelords somehow got infected and the door to the main fortress was stuck open..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Megaman3321 on May 23, 2012, 04:32:01 pm
I start a new fort. Everything goes smoothly for an ingame year. I've been watching it for a few hours, so I get a glass of water. I leave the game running.

Everyone gets slaughtered by a zombie water buffalo..

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on May 24, 2012, 01:16:29 am
Well, I have this fortified position above some lovely drawbridges to shoot down on any comers...
"Ok, the gobbos are on the bridges, pull the lever!"
--> A Goblin Mace Lord is flung through a fortification and into the battlement.
--> ‼Fun‼ Ensues.

 :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: backora900 on May 24, 2012, 04:10:54 am
When I had a message "The human child... has come! A medium-sized creature prone to a great ambition." Then I saw this child just look at my fort and turn around and run to the map edge. What a motivation - if you have ambitions, stay away from here. :D

Also when my first dead was a mad naked child. Bad part is I produced a lot of clothes but all of it was taken by adults (they had xclothx; nothing bad).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vyro on May 24, 2012, 06:32:55 am
Today... I have finally grasped the "Loosing Is Fun" thing.

Surely this fort was promising enough already with that burning miner who refused to die until reload. And that artifact yak leather face veil, The Virginity of Sloths. Well, we had so much gold here we could have been wiping our butts with golden wafers, and looks like that vast meeting square paved with gold (that took about a solid quarter of the accessible surface) was the last drop for those sissy local goblins to finally pull the thumbs out of their arses and send a decent siege, took you long enough. Oh, good, ogres, haven't seen them in a while!
A dozern of riders died to my archers before return fire forced them our of the tower. And then I suddenly feel smoke in the air... Magma? What is it doing on the surface? Ooh, I see, totally forgot about that unfinished miniproject of a magma-based defence system. That has been holding on to a single floodgate this whole time. Until said ogres broke it out of curiosity. Well, no big deal, the bridge is up, the moat is isolated with an obsidian door, the stocks are brimming full with stuff, everything is fine... Wait, who the hell left the moat door wide open?! Dorfs, change of plan!
The invaders, all hundred of them, pour into the trapped hallway and get minced to pieces in an act of bloody carnage involving hundreds of glass serrated discs and menacing copper spikes. Exactly after the last two survivors escape the scorched landscape, a Desert Titan comes in. The giant stupid bird just caught a few dozerns of metal bolts before collapsing right atop the watchtower. Then the drawbridge started flooding, raise it the hell up. Good, now I need to think up a way to contain the magma before it floods the mining facilities. A cave-in, great idea! My bonesetter miner channels the last tile while standing on top of it and goes down for a swim with an alert. But, there were two things I haven't taken into account. First, the cave-in was too narrow to plug the channel. And second, a cave-in only stops on a completely solid surface. One level below was the farming sector. No big deal, put a door here, and we'll be fine. What's that tile, is it a hole? Why do I smell smoke again? Two levels below was the booze stockpile. And the dining hall. A bunch of unlucky beards got fried on a spot, half of the others started tantruming right there. Fine, now I can finally contain the magma with doors. And THEN I recall installing WOODEN doors throughout the whole living area for vengeance purposes.
This was the most glorious failure of a fort I've ever had.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on May 24, 2012, 06:51:38 am
this is an amazing series of facepalms, I salute you for death and destruction
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on May 24, 2012, 07:04:33 am
Quote from: Vyro on May 24, 2012, 06:32:55 am
Today... I have finally grasped the "Loosing Is Fun" thing.

Surely this fort was promising enough already with that burning miner who refused to die until reload. And that artifact yak leather face veil, The Virginity of Sloths. Well, we had so much gold here we could have been wiping our butts with golden wafers, and looks like that vast meeting square paved with gold (that took about a solid quarter of the accessible surface) was the last drop for those sissy local goblins to finally pull the thumbs out of their arses and send a decent siege, took you long enough. Oh, good, ogres, haven't seen them in a while!
A dozern of riders died to my archers before return fire forced them our of the tower. And then I suddenly feel smoke in the air... Magma? What is it doing on the surface? Ooh, I see, totally forgot about that unfinished miniproject of a magma-based defence system. That has been holding on to a single floodgate this whole time. Until said ogres broke it out of curiosity. Well, no big deal, the bridge is up, the moat is isolated with an obsidian door, the stocks are brimming full with stuff, everything is fine... Wait, who the hell left the moat door wide open?! Dorfs, change of plan!
The invaders, all hundred of them, pour into the trapped hallway and get minced to pieces in an act of bloody carnage involving hundreds of glass serrated discs and menacing copper spikes. Exactly after the last two survivors escape the scorched landscape, a Desert Titan comes in. The giant stupid bird just caught a few dozerns of metal bolts before collapsing right atop the watchtower. Then the drawbridge started flooding, raise it the hell up. Good, now I need to think up a way to contain the magma before it floods the mining facilities. A cave-in, great idea! My bonesetter miner channels the last tile while standing on top of it and goes down for a swim with an alert. But, there were two things I haven't taken into account. First, the cave-in was too narrow to plug the channel. And second, a cave-in only stops on a completely solid surface. One level below was the farming sector. No big deal, put a door here, and we'll be fine. What's that tile, is it a hole? Why do I smell smoke again? Two levels below was the booze stockpile. And the dining hall. A bunch of unlucky beards got fried on a spot, half of the others started tantruming right there. Fine, now I can finally contain the magma with doors. And THEN I recall installing WOODEN doors throughout the whole living area for vengeance purposes.
This was the most glorious failure of a fort I've ever had.

I think you won bay12
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: guitarxe on May 24, 2012, 08:34:39 am
When I realized I did not have to muddy underground soil tiles in order to put a farm on them.
/facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: backora900 on May 24, 2012, 04:30:11 pm
After I read a lot about danger rooms and how good they are at trainning fighters I desided to build one too. And while am I at it, test repeater as well.

How did happened that one speardwafette had 3 childs? And those were not imigrated childs. :o Well they are safer in a hospital anyway. They don't need grasp at all.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DTF on May 24, 2012, 04:58:41 pm
Spot the facepalm!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on May 24, 2012, 05:04:19 pm
heh, nice one

I'm not good at reading the tileset, took me some time to spot it
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scruffy on May 24, 2012, 05:29:17 pm
Urist's first law of masonry: Where there is a wall, there is also a mason on the wrong side.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on May 24, 2012, 07:14:14 pm
Urists 2nd Law.

If a mason must remove a large floor, be it cavern or constructed, they shall stand in the middle and remove all the tiles around themselves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DTF on May 24, 2012, 07:21:03 pm
Urists 3rd Law.

The wall always looks nicer on the wrong side.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on May 24, 2012, 07:23:41 pm
Law of Conservation of Intelligence

For every act of dwarven brilliance, there must be an act of dwarven stupidity of equal but opposite magnitude.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mister Fox on May 24, 2012, 07:25:10 pm
I had dug myself a small, deep chamber to hold water in that I diverted from a river to use for farming/well water. I got the well working and all the dwarves started partying around it. I went down to work on the farm, and suddenly...

'X cancels task: dangerous terrain!'

I come back upstairs to see that the happy dwarf well party has turned into a hydrophobic's worst nightmare with water gushing out and flooding the dining room near-instantly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on May 24, 2012, 08:18:59 pm
well done!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DTF on May 25, 2012, 03:41:05 am
Wow, this fort is cursed... must have been the 6th or 7th miner that died due to a cave in. The last one broke the record of falling 10z levels, crashing through the bottom most floor and then falling further into the caverns - forgotten beast must think its feeding time.
In all the games I've played (for ~2 years now) I lost at most 2 or 3 miners in accidents. I am running out of legendary miners...
Must stop mass designating areas to be channeled... must stop digging deep chasms


No wait, I must make DEEPER chasms so their bodies can never be found if they do fall down! Just tell everyone that some dark creature lives in it and everybody will be happy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pivole on May 25, 2012, 04:14:40 am
I disassembled part of my curtain wall, to untrap one of my dwarves from between it and a river. I didn't rebuild it, the river provided an effective moat. It wasn't until the siege that I remembered that a river that freezes for half a year does not provide an effective moat. That was particularly painful.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: azrael300 on May 25, 2012, 08:22:33 am
i finish my ultamate construction i was about to save but then i pressed the disk eject button and theen my laptop crashed... it did not save it..... facepalm always look at what your pressing in df
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DTF on May 25, 2012, 10:08:22 am
"Urist, the enemy is entering our deathtrap airlock pillbox in huge numbers! Get ready to raise the bridge at my command!"
"...raise?"

The subtle disbelief and growing rage you get when you pull the all-or-nothing lever and see the bridge, that your entire strategy is hinging on, vanishing instead or raising.

Dear god. I tried to build walls everywhere to contain the 50 or so goblins as well as possible and channel them through my barracks first. They werent quite in yet, not even in the airlock, but there was so little time left. And soldiers heading off 100 z-levels down to the adamantine facility to drink something didnt help either.
Total chaos ensued. I work with quite restrict burrow assignments (also why do not activate burrow alerts), so that people do not enter certain areas where they have no business. In order to build walls in the barracks I had to adjust the civilian burrow - which, combined with my sudden lack of oversight due to me following the actual combat, led all kinds of people try to fetch some thing or other. Hauling new cages for the traps that approx. 10 more enemies are standing on, eating at the soldier's dinner tables, retrieving x(socks)x.
Out of my  marksdwarves, 2 showed up on the battlements. Thankfully, there were still my adamantine clad (although not terribly experienced) melees. I couldnt really follow what was happening what with all the body parts flying around, but in the end I lost only 3 soldiers and several are wounded although probably not badly.
At least I've found the gaps in my defenses... of which there are quite a few.


Kids, always double check you build the right thing. And always try pulling levers to see they are connected properly before you enter a serious situation...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: spkarrer on May 25, 2012, 02:06:45 pm
I like to play chicken with sieges. They spend some time hanging around at the edge of the map, so I like go about my business and wait to seal in my dorfs. Unfortunately, and despite the "SIEGE" warning up top, I forgot about it.... at least until the siege was in the meeting hall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reudh on May 25, 2012, 10:43:27 pm
Quote from: azrael300 on May 25, 2012, 08:22:33 am
i finish my ultamate construction i was about to save but then i pressed the disk eject button and theen my laptop crashed... it did not save it..... facepalm always look at what your pressing in df

Disk eject button?

DF on CD? :O
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheCoolSideofthePIllow on May 26, 2012, 12:09:58 am
Elf merchants showed up to trade.

I was bored so I told my military to attack all the "Trader" marked people on the list of targets.

Didn't realize I had exactly the same number of Trader dwarves as the Elves brought merchants. I ended up slaughtering a good 6 of my own dwarves. One of the Speardwarves, gladly murdered his own brother because Armok commanded it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on May 26, 2012, 02:49:35 am
"Oh goddammit it miners, Y U no dig?! >:( "

...

"Oh, right, burrow...  :-[ "
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Garath on May 26, 2012, 12:06:31 pm
Quote from: Sus on May 26, 2012, 02:49:35 am
"Oh goddammit it miners, Y U no dig?! >:( "

...

"Oh, right, burrow...  :-[ "

even then, Yaks and hUmans don't dig
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWdeV on May 26, 2012, 05:37:02 pm
I was making a ramp. Caravan was leaving.

I look away for a minute. Wall suspended. Okay.

Caravan stuck.

On the ramp. Right in the middle of the newly constructed ramp. The damn thing was finished at exactly the right moment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on May 26, 2012, 06:50:23 pm
A forgotten beast made of fire in the water caverns, Set military on station above the entrance to the water in-case he decided on saying "hi"...
 Steamed dwarf anyone?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on May 26, 2012, 06:53:10 pm
Briefly...

Needing a good amount of soap for injuries...

Have lots of buckets
Have lots of ash
Have lots of lye
Have lots of tallow

CanNOT make soap.  For five in game years. At. All.

Discover that all of the buckets of lye are being put in rock pots in food stockpiles.

...face palm ...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bartinyou on May 28, 2012, 12:16:33 am
Quote from: floundericiousWA on May 26, 2012, 06:53:10 pm
Briefly...

Needing a good amount of soap for injuries...

Have lots of buckets
Have lots of ash
Have lots of lye
Have lots of tallow

CanNOT make soap.  For five in game years. At. All.

Discover that all of the buckets of lye are being put in rock pots in food stockpiles.

...face palm ...
What version are you running?  This was fixed recently.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: crazysheep on May 28, 2012, 02:34:23 am
Quote from: Bartinyou on May 28, 2012, 12:16:33 am
Quote from: floundericiousWA on May 26, 2012, 06:53:10 pm
Briefly...

Needing a good amount of soap for injuries...

Have lots of buckets
Have lots of ash
Have lots of lye
Have lots of tallow

CanNOT make soap.  For five in game years. At. All.

Discover that all of the buckets of lye are being put in rock pots in food stockpiles.

...face palm ...
What version are you running?  This was fixed recently.
Eh.. lye falls under "Misc. Liquid" in 0.34.10 food stockpiles.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StrangeMood on May 28, 2012, 09:04:53 am
I got an epic migrant with epic skills, who also got himself elected mayor shortly after arriving.

Turns out he's a vampire. 

:o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WriterX on May 28, 2012, 02:20:40 pm
A human vampire diplomat payed my Duke a visit. Needless to say, I kept a squad of fortress guard nearby, making sure nothing funny happened during the meeting.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on May 28, 2012, 11:14:14 pm
Mining sweet, sweet iron from around a volcano. I ah... Missed a designation. One moment, everything is fine, the next, a burning legendary miner is running through the mine shafts screaming bloody murder. A oozing pile of magma is slowly filling the vein, pouring toward my staircase. I order the masons to wall off both sides of the vein. One traps himself in, on the wrong side of the wrong side. I have to dig a new way around the whole map to get his dumb ass out of the magma death chamber. And now, everytime I try and mine the ores under or above the magma chamber, I have to do it block by block. Son. Of. A. ... Sow.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DTF on May 29, 2012, 12:52:12 am
Quote from: Hanslanda on May 28, 2012, 11:14:14 pm
Mining sweet, sweet iron from around a volcano. I ah... Missed a designation. One moment, everything is fine, the next, a burning legendary miner is running through the mine shafts screaming bloody murder. A oozing pile of magma is slowly filling the vein, pouring toward my staircase. I order the masons to wall off both sides of the vein. One traps himself in, on the wrong side of the wrong side. I have to dig a new way around the whole map to get his dumb ass out of the magma death chamber. And now, everytime I try and mine the ores under or above the magma chamber, I have to do it block by block. Son. Of. A. ... Sow.


In case you dont know how to turn off the awful auto-pause/zoom when digging near damp or warm stone:
http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/Digging_designation_canceled
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flying Fortress on May 29, 2012, 10:20:26 am
An 'Uninvited Guest' showed up above ground and started walking towards my fort.  At that time I had 0 military and only a few useless cage traps with a drawbridge as a last resort.  I quickly put up the civilian alert and watched as all my dwarfs ran away from the designated burrow.  :o
I watched as several of my best dwarves ran outside and got the beasts attention and then started running away from him, it was then that I remembered that I never setup the correct burrow settings to give the alert any purpose.  I quickly fixed the problem which put a halt to a all of my work and everyone ran inside.  Just as the ridge went up a caravan encountered the beast and killed it easily.  :-\

A little later in the same fort I was working on digging out some copper veins to get better defenses (only copper, iron, and silver here) I designated a large area and went to work elsewhere in the fort.  I got an announcement saying work was canceled due to dangerous terrain.  I went and checked on it and saw a wall of water sweeping up my legendary miners and pushing them into my magma forge area, my first thought was "Stupid dwarves, why did they dig a wet block without letting me know?"  Then I saw that the water was coming for an underground lake that had already been revealed, so the wet rock was mined because they thought I knew what I was doing.  Guess that'll teach them not to listen to their master.  ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on May 29, 2012, 10:56:58 am
Quote from: DTF on May 29, 2012, 12:52:12 am
Quote from: Hanslanda on May 28, 2012, 11:14:14 pm
Mining sweet, sweet iron from around a volcano. I ah... Missed a designation. One moment, everything is fine, the next, a burning legendary miner is running through the mine shafts screaming bloody murder. A oozing pile of magma is slowly filling the vein, pouring toward my staircase. I order the masons to wall off both sides of the vein. One traps himself in, on the wrong side of the wrong side. I have to dig a new way around the whole map to get his dumb ass out of the magma death chamber. And now, everytime I try and mine the ores under or above the magma chamber, I have to do it block by block. Son. Of. A. ... Sow.


In case you dont know how to turn off the awful auto-pause/zoom when digging near damp or warm stone:
http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/Digging_designation_canceled

Thank you, that is saving me so much time. :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on May 29, 2012, 01:06:36 pm
Quote from: Bartinyou on May 28, 2012, 12:16:33 am
Quote from: floundericiousWA on May 26, 2012, 06:53:10 pm
Briefly...

Needing a good amount of soap for injuries...

Have lots of buckets
Have lots of ash
Have lots of lye
Have lots of tallow

CanNOT make soap.  For five in game years. At. All.

Discover that all of the buckets of lye are being put in rock pots in food stockpiles.

...face palm ...
What version are you running?  This was fixed recently.
Indeed.  I upgraded from 34.09 to 34.10 shortly after posting this....

I posted that note to this thread after spending probably 1.5 hours, accumulated over several play sessions, trying to figure out the problem.  I figured it out just before I had to shut down DF to go work on dinner for the fam and had time to post the facepalm I'd just experienced!

It's still not letting me have all my lye back from the food stockpiles...BUT...I've been able to make half a dozen bars of soap and now I'm seeing "soapy bath" good thoughts and the hospital can now prevent infections...so, problem mitigated.

and there was much rejoicing...yaaaaaaaay

 ::)  ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: greycat on May 29, 2012, 03:27:27 pm
The autumn dwarven caravan arrived while the summer human caravan was departing.  (Packing those wagons takes months now.)  As the human wagons were heading west, in between my inner and outer walls, they ran headfirst into the dwarven wagons heading east.

I wish I'd taken a screenshot.  The wagons all came to a dead stop, overlapping each other.  I know dwarves and humans aren't the brightest creatures on the planet, but... sheesh.

I resolved the issue by removing a segment of the inner wall.  The dwarven wagons turned north through what used to be the inner wall, and this cleared the path for the human wagons to depart.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: codyorr on May 29, 2012, 05:25:57 pm
I had a nice fortress next to a waterfall. I nearly flooded the fortress while digging an immense water pit. Then I decided I had learned from the near disaster and dug a channel around the entire walled perimeter. Oops, forgot about that back entrance. At least it killed some monkeys.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on May 29, 2012, 05:39:01 pm
Quote from: greycat on May 29, 2012, 03:27:27 pm
The autumn dwarven caravan arrived while the summer human caravan was departing.  (Packing those wagons takes months now.)  As the human wagons were heading west, in between my inner and outer walls, they ran headfirst into the dwarven wagons heading east.

I wish I'd taken a screenshot.  The wagons all came to a dead stop, overlapping each other.  I know dwarves and humans aren't the brightest creatures on the planet, but... sheesh.

I resolved the issue by removing a segment of the inner wall.  The dwarven wagons turned north through what used to be the inner wall, and this cleared the path for the human wagons to depart.

Is it just me or do caravans have a timer...no matter the delays in getting them in or how long they take to unpack...they will, by armok, start to pack up and leave by a set date..period.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Clutzy on May 29, 2012, 06:17:32 pm
Had siege come up when I was havin' to get ready to leave for errands with the family. Well it looked like things were going well so I thought I would just keep things running while I got ready since there were only four goblins left. Shouldn't be a problem. Besides I'll check periodically on it (not). 30 minutes later I come back to find my three named (one the commander) dead, the (now confirmed) injured vampire in the medical bay, and my thriving population of 35 down to seven who are soon to go mad.

FACEPALM-RAGEQUIT.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on May 29, 2012, 07:45:54 pm
The MINUTE you look away from DF, something horrible will happen. Though it can be fun to just start a game, set up the stockpile designations and auto-food workings, and just let it run with soundsense.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reudh on May 29, 2012, 09:41:15 pm
You could call that Adam's Law.

DF is like SCP-173 in that the moment you take your eyes off it: BOOM, DF breaks your neck and 134 others and all you can do is weep at the loss of your fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on May 29, 2012, 09:47:23 pm
The minute you look away, your dwarves do something incredibly stupid without you standing over their shoulder. Alas, we are many releases from

Urist cancels wall self inside magma flow: interrupted by self-preservation.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on May 29, 2012, 10:11:02 pm
Goddamnit, and mine just did that a day or two ago. It was... Hilarious.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Auning on May 30, 2012, 01:56:46 am
Was playing for about 15 minutes, and got excited because my armorer went into a strange mood. Soon enough, "Urdim Uzolekur, Armorer has created Rurkab, a (candy) helm!". YES. "Dwarf Fortress has an encountered an unexpected error." NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on May 30, 2012, 08:40:40 pm
Oh, now that is cruel.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on May 30, 2012, 09:12:08 pm
Tried to sneak with companions in Adventure mode.

If they run off after a rabbit and drown themselves/ get lost one more time... nevermind, can't do anything worse to them than they do to themselves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on May 30, 2012, 10:25:54 pm
Yes you can. Break every bone and joint in their body, gouge out everything, sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat, for days. Preferably in a lair. Slowly begin removing various fingers and toes. Continue until they are a limbless, broken and mutilated torso. A LIVING torso. Leave them in that state.

Sometimes, death is a mercy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Devling on May 30, 2012, 10:33:59 pm
Quote from: Hanslanda on May 30, 2012, 10:25:54 pm
Yes you can. Break every bone and joint in their body, gouge out everything, sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat, for days. Preferably in a lair. Slowly begin removing various fingers and toes. Continue until they are a limbless, broken and mutilated torso. A LIVING torso. Leave them in that state.

Sometimes, death is a mercy.
Yes.
I am going to do that.
Right now.
BRB.

Welcome to Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

Meet Cetele Drillstabbed. He lives in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

Welcome to the Sanctum of vices. This is a place in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

Meet the first stunt. She lives in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

Meet the Child. He gives quests in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

Meet Islas Kerangira, diety and feathered zebra. She lives in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

Welcome to the Sculpted Gloomy. It is in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

This is a Koblin Spearman. It lives in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

This is a river. It is in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

This is a platypus. It lives in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

This is a platypus guy. It was pinched off in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

That was some fox meat. It was cooked in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

This is the Wordy forest. It is in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

This is Or Casketdreamy. He wanted glory and a warriors death in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

This is night. Or didn't sleep at night in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

This was Cetele Drillstabbed. He was killed in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I failed to slay something, but gained a follower, and got broken by his EVERYTHING.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on May 30, 2012, 10:48:10 pm
Quote from: Hanslanda on May 30, 2012, 10:25:54 pm
Yes you can. Break every bone and joint in their body, gouge out everything, sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat, for days. Preferably in a lair. Slowly begin removing various fingers and toes. Continue until they are a limbless, broken and mutilated torso. A LIVING torso. Leave them in that state.

Sometimes, death is a mercy.
No, because the rabbits beat me to it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WL14 on May 31, 2012, 01:57:47 am
I was playing around with squad uniforms, figuring out how to get all my epic combat dwarfs to wear chainmail under their breastplates and leggings under their greaves. I send them out to kill an uninvited guest and they proceed to attack it with their fists and shields. And it starts killing some of them. Then all of them. Apparently uniforms include weapons...
*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jwph on May 31, 2012, 05:00:35 am
This just happened to me a few minutes ago.  I was trying out the minecarts by digging out a tunnel, carving tracks along it and I built one track stop and set a dwarf to push a cart down the tunnel if it was empty.  Some hauling dwarf got caught in something of a loop where he'd push the cart down, run down the tunnel and push it back to the stop and push it again.  I assumed the problem was with not having a second stop and sent someone down to build the stop without deleting the route first...

He was rendered unconcious and dropped the boulder, he's now asleep in the hastily-built hospital with a broken hand.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scruffy on May 31, 2012, 08:37:44 am
Seems like a player is never experienced enough to avoid making stupid mistakes.

I was filling my cistern from a aquifer around 30z above it. It was my usual type: a big chamber below the fort with a deep pit in the middle of the fortress that serves both as a well and hole for filling it. A while later I noticed that something had gone wrong. It turns out that I had accidently changed the position of the hole one tile north around half way down. This wouldn't have been a problem but it was in the middle of the meeting room, thus flooding it and washing around 20 dwarves down the hole. The first ones to get swept down died from the 10z fall while most of the rest drowned. I managed to save a few survivors.

Which brings me to my second mistake. When I was building the cistern I decided that constructing a floodgate was too much of a hassle, thus I decided to use a forbidden door. This wouldn't have been a problem but when I helped the few survivors escape they left the door open.. I didn't notice this and when I had fixed the well hole I started filling the cistern again.. and flooded every level below it. I flooded my magmaforge, bar/ore stockpiles, mines and minecart ramps along with the miners and a legendary armorsmith (and a bunch of mundane workers) who were in the wrong place the wrong time. I managed to save my secondary living quarters (in the end, the living quarters were 5/7 deep in water but I had a bunch of dwarves and nobles sleeping in their locked rooms.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on May 31, 2012, 01:01:24 pm
I breached the caverns as humans, hoping to bag cavern beasts for the kingdom of symetries.

Pond grabbers. Nothing but fucking pond grabbers.

-facepalm at having any kind of expectations.-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on May 31, 2012, 11:12:19 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on May 30, 2012, 10:48:10 pm
Quote from: Hanslanda on May 30, 2012, 10:25:54 pm
Yes you can. Break every bone and joint in their body, gouge out everything, sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat, for days. Preferably in a lair. Slowly begin removing various fingers and toes. Continue until they are a limbless, broken and mutilated torso. A LIVING torso. Leave them in that state.

Sometimes, death is a mercy.
No, because the rabbits beat me to it.

Lol, my bad. You are right, they get themselves killed in worse ways than we can.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Corai on May 31, 2012, 11:14:39 pm
Quote from: Splint on May 31, 2012, 01:01:24 pm
I breached the caverns as humans, hoping to bag cavern beasts for the kingdom of symetries.

Pond grabbers. Nothing but fucking pond grabbers.

-facepalm at having any kind of expectations.-

And we had this entire plan about killing goblins through PMs, :/


Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on May 31, 2012, 11:23:02 pm
Quote from: Corai on May 31, 2012, 11:14:39 pm
Quote from: Splint on May 31, 2012, 01:01:24 pm
I breached the caverns as humans, hoping to bag cavern beasts for the kingdom of symetries.

Pond grabbers. Nothing but fucking pond grabbers.

-facepalm at having any kind of expectations.-

And we had this entire plan about killing goblins through PMs, :/

A large rat just got caught now that some useless pond grabbers swam away if that makes you feel better....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xenogenic on June 01, 2012, 05:30:15 am
After a siege, I was thinking: Man, something must be wrong with the burrow designations. No one is going outside even though I removed the lockdown..... 6 months later.... Oh yeah, I forgot to unforbid those doors after a single goblin made it past the traps!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DTF on June 02, 2012, 04:16:01 am
I just watched a hauler grab a quartzite block from a mason workshop. He ignores the bar/block stockpile next to the shop, runs down ~75 z-levels to my magma forges, heads for the bar/block stockpile that only accepts gabbro blocks there and then heads back to stockpile near the workshop where his job originated.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rangerplus10 on June 02, 2012, 10:18:28 am
The first time I say this purple stuff all around my fort and getting a tantrum spiral without knowing about happiness or moods

The first time I learnt about the "missing status"; I found 6 masons dead in a wall :(

The first ambush; I thought they were traders, brought out my broker (my do it all noble) and had everyone haul. (They were massacred)

The first time I learnt about digging... on my first 2 forts, I chopped down trees and built log forts. :( Then I found the wiki

When I started playing, I found the game not from this website, but on the AppStore, which had a extremely out dated game. I played with it for 5 forts or so, then started playing adventure. I read the adventure guide which said, "the sun on the top of the screen tells you the time" I looked at the top of the screen and there was no sun. I finished 2 adventures before realizing.

Building an elaborate sequence of levers, bridges and traps to destroy any siege. When it finally came I thought, "Those goblins don't know whats going to hit them. I got a dwarf to pull the lever. Nothing happened. I had forgotten to link everything up!!! :)

I could go on forever, thinking a giant eagle was my elf ally in adventure...you can guess what happened. Dwarf Fortress is amazing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on June 02, 2012, 01:03:50 pm
*Migrants have arrived*

NOTHING BUT LEGENDARY POTASH MAKERS! ALL 10 OF THEM!!

GGRRRAAAHHH
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on June 02, 2012, 06:47:06 pm
Quote from: bukitodinos on June 02, 2012, 01:03:50 pm
*Migrants have arrived*

NOTHING BUT LEGENDARY POTASH MAKERS! ALL 10 OF THEM!!

GGRRRAAAHHH

This is what allows some people to get 10 high level smiths in a single wave.  I think due to town specialization and migrants often being related you are much more likely to get lots of people with the same skills in a wave.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: psikez on June 02, 2012, 06:51:12 pm
I recently came back from a long hiatus, many things seem different so I choose an easy flat serene map with a volcano. I get the fortress up and running nicely. Nice engraved dining room, full on farming of above and underground crops. An underground pasteur started. I dig out my 2x40 channel for magma forges and smelters. One of my miners dies breaching the volcano side. Oh well I think, at least I got my magma forges started. I build a slab and dedicate it to my poor melted miner. Then it happens. The miners mostly melted skeleton crawls out of the magma. As far as I could tell from the number of missing parts it was really nothing more than a rib cage. It proceeds to slaughter my yak. Then a dwarf is dead. I have no idea whats going on. Then I see on the unit list there is a NECROMANCER on my map. The dead yak rises. I set all my dwarves (around 30) to recruit wrestlers and send them in. They are slaughtered quickly and raised as more and more undead until all thats left is one child running around dodging a horde of zombies and skeletons. And then it was all over. Welcome back to Dwarf Fortress I thought
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on June 02, 2012, 06:55:22 pm
Sicked my premier halberdiers on a plains titan, only for it to have it's head bitten in bya  dog with a broken leg.

-Facepalm- I WAS GONNA MAKE THE KILLER CHAMPION YOU BASTARD DOG!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on June 02, 2012, 07:08:32 pm
Quote from: psikez on June 02, 2012, 06:51:12 pm
I recently came back from a long hiatus, many things seem different so I choose an easy flat serene map with a volcano. I get the fortress up and running nicely. Nice engraved dining room, full on farming of above and underground crops. An underground pasteur started. I dig out my 2x40 channel for magma forges and smelters. One of my miners dies breaching the volcano side. Oh well I think, at least I got my magma forges started. I build a slab and dedicate it to my poor melted miner. Then it happens. The miners mostly melted skeleton crawls out of the magma. As far as I could tell from the number of missing parts it was really nothing more than a rib cage. It proceeds to slaughter my yak. Then a dwarf is dead. I have no idea whats going on. Then I see on the unit list there is a NECROMANCER on my map. The dead yak rises. I set all my dwarves (around 30) to recruit wrestlers and send them in. They are slaughtered quickly and raised as more and more undead until all thats left is one child running around dodging a horde of zombies and skeletons. And then it was all over. Welcome back to Dwarf Fortress I thought
Good introduction to necromancers I guess?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: crazysheep on June 02, 2012, 07:38:15 pm
Quote from: Edmus on June 02, 2012, 07:08:32 pm
Quote from: psikez on June 02, 2012, 06:51:12 pm
I recently came back from a long hiatus, many things seem different so I choose an easy flat serene map with a volcano. I get the fortress up and running nicely. Nice engraved dining room, full on farming of above and underground crops. An underground pasteur started. I dig out my 2x40 channel for magma forges and smelters. One of my miners dies breaching the volcano side. Oh well I think, at least I got my magma forges started. I build a slab and dedicate it to my poor melted miner. Then it happens. The miners mostly melted skeleton crawls out of the magma. As far as I could tell from the number of missing parts it was really nothing more than a rib cage. It proceeds to slaughter my yak. Then a dwarf is dead. I have no idea whats going on. Then I see on the unit list there is a NECROMANCER on my map. The dead yak rises. I set all my dwarves (around 30) to recruit wrestlers and send them in. They are slaughtered quickly and raised as more and more undead until all thats left is one child running around dodging a horde of zombies and skeletons. And then it was all over. Welcome back to Dwarf Fortress I thought
Good introduction to necromancers I guess?
More like a good introduction to the dangers of zombie yaks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on June 02, 2012, 08:57:10 pm
Quote from: crazysheep on June 02, 2012, 07:38:15 pm
Quote from: Edmus on June 02, 2012, 07:08:32 pm
Quote from: psikez on June 02, 2012, 06:51:12 pm
I recently came back from a long hiatus, many things seem different so I choose an easy flat serene map with a volcano. I get the fortress up and running nicely. Nice engraved dining room, full on farming of above and underground crops. An underground pasteur started. I dig out my 2x40 channel for magma forges and smelters. One of my miners dies breaching the volcano side. Oh well I think, at least I got my magma forges started. I build a slab and dedicate it to my poor melted miner. Then it happens. The miners mostly melted skeleton crawls out of the magma. As far as I could tell from the number of missing parts it was really nothing more than a rib cage. It proceeds to slaughter my yak. Then a dwarf is dead. I have no idea whats going on. Then I see on the unit list there is a NECROMANCER on my map. The dead yak rises. I set all my dwarves (around 30) to recruit wrestlers and send them in. They are slaughtered quickly and raised as more and more undead until all thats left is one child running around dodging a horde of zombies and skeletons. And then it was all over. Welcome back to Dwarf Fortress I thought
Good introduction to necromancers I guess?
More like a good introduction to the dangers of zombie yaks.
Yeah, yaks will mess you up, especially if angry. I once sent my military out to go chase a yak herd, one of them turned round and decided to gore 5 dwarves. I was just a begginer at the time, so I decided that he was a super yak and left him the hell alone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on June 02, 2012, 09:50:38 pm
Quote from: Rockphed on June 02, 2012, 06:47:06 pm
Quote from: bukitodinos on June 02, 2012, 01:03:50 pm
*Migrants have arrived*

NOTHING BUT LEGENDARY POTASH MAKERS! ALL 10 OF THEM!!

GGRRRAAAHHH

This is what allows some people to get 10 high level smiths in a single wave.  I think due to town specialization and migrants often being related you are much more likely to get lots of people with the same skills in a wave.

BUT STILL

WHO THE FUCK NEEDS 10 LEGENDARY POTASH MAKERS?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on June 02, 2012, 10:21:52 pm
Someone who fertilizes their super-fields. But... I've never even thought about fertilizing, fields produce WAY more food than I could ever need just base. Maybe you could make a Potash tower. We've already got soap towers and such.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: keyreper on June 02, 2012, 10:51:00 pm
Quote from: Reudh on May 25, 2012, 10:43:27 pm
Quote from: azrael300 on May 25, 2012, 08:22:33 am
i finish my ultamate construction i was about to save but then i pressed the disk eject button and theen my laptop crashed... it did not save it..... facepalm always look at what your pressing in df

Disk eject button?

DF on CD? :O

probably more like abandon fortress.... ive done it a few times and it sucks
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: D34dlock on June 03, 2012, 11:12:22 am
Quote from: bukitodinos on June 02, 2012, 09:50:38 pm

BUT STILL

WHO THE FUCK NEEDS 10 LEGENDARY POTASH MAKERS?

Someone that's making a LOT of clear glass items?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: crazysheep on June 03, 2012, 05:32:13 pm
Quote from: Hanslanda on June 02, 2012, 10:21:52 pm
Someone who fertilizes their super-fields. But... I've never even thought about fertilizing, fields produce WAY more food than I could ever need just base. Maybe you could make a Potash tower. We've already got soap towers and such.
Potash doesn't exactly scream dwarfy, which soap does. A lot.
"We don't need to clean ourselves, so we made soap into a tower."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on June 03, 2012, 10:20:01 pm
Quote from: crazysheep on June 03, 2012, 05:32:13 pm
Quote from: Hanslanda on June 02, 2012, 10:21:52 pm
Someone who fertilizes their super-fields. But... I've never even thought about fertilizing, fields produce WAY more food than I could ever need just base. Maybe you could make a Potash tower. We've already got soap towers and such.
Potash doesn't exactly scream dwarfy, which soap does. A lot.
"We don't need to clean ourselves, so we made soap into a tower."

It's like a GIANT airfreshener.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on June 04, 2012, 12:10:39 am
Quote from: Hanslanda on June 03, 2012, 10:20:01 pm
Quote from: crazysheep on June 03, 2012, 05:32:13 pm
Quote from: Hanslanda on June 02, 2012, 10:21:52 pm
Someone who fertilizes their super-fields. But... I've never even thought about fertilizing, fields produce WAY more food than I could ever need just base. Maybe you could make a Potash tower. We've already got soap towers and such.
Potash doesn't exactly scream dwarfy, which soap does. A lot.
"We don't need to clean ourselves, so we made soap into a tower."

It's like a GIANT airfreshener.
As in, wandering giants come in and wipe their armpits on it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on June 04, 2012, 12:18:31 am
That wasn't exactly what I meant, but it is very much so dwarven.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on June 04, 2012, 12:38:43 pm
Welp.

Turns out ordering your militia to kill a werebeast from your own population results in ‼Fun‼ (http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2012:Trading#Loyalty_cascade) for all.  :-[

I may have to set up something like the original Spearbreakers "hospital" (a.k.a. passive euthanasia camp) for werebeast victims...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TerringtonSnyde on June 05, 2012, 05:56:02 am
I had embarked on a volcano for easy magma access, got the fort up and running and churning out valuables in a relatively short time. Then I got greedy, wanted to produce even more good because zomgwealth! and set about constructing auxiliary smelters and forges. For that, of course, I needed some magma to construct over. Naively presuming I had the whole pressure thing more or less worked out, I sent my miner to create a channel down into a small reservoir area, and then hack into the side of the magma tube.

First off, the miner was more or less instantly disintegrated. So much for the hasty retreat to safety I had envisioned him undertaking. The magma flowed down into the reservoir... and directly across the single z-level with a ramp which led there, then out the mining access tunnel, and into the fortress proper. I was feverishly working to establish some sort of damage-control on the situation when, quite literally, within 15 seconds of catastrophic magma containment failure, I receive the notification for a vile force of darkness entering the vicinity. Leaning back with a somewhat beleaguered smirk, I thought to myself "Ha! So they're going to try the old double jeopardy situation on me, eh? Fortunately, for once I have constructed a well-defended entrance with drawbridges and numerous lethal traps designed to ensure gratuitous goblin dismemberment!"

No sooner had the thought crossed my mind then I realized with no small amount of horror that I had probably just jinxed my fledgling fort to oblivion. Sure enough, upon closer examination of the goblins' general direction of movement, I discovered that earlier, in a fit of overzealous strip mining, I had left one single diagonal gap near the base of the volcano connected with the outside world, which my ill-intentioned neighbours had every intention of exploiting. I couldn't even send masons down to construct an impromptu perimeter, as they would always balk and return for a drink upon encountering the now-prodigious magma flow.

The goblins infiltrated my fort from the bottom and reduced the population from 80 to about 30. It was a massacre. I could only watch in dumbfounded resignation as the screams and blood and loose body parts began to fill the halls, combined with smoke and flaming madmen running about as every now and then as some unfortunate individual/pet/invader stumbled or was flung into the magma cascading magnificently down the grand central staircase. All the while (and quite coincidentally), while I watched my entire stronghold quite literally go up in flames, I had been listening to this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeNv8zlzlV8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeNv8zlzlV8)) a rather haunting piano track I had stumbled upon earlier. It added a certain degree of epic finality to the whole debacle.

I decided at this point I'd better give it up as a bad job all around and try again elsewhere.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on June 05, 2012, 01:32:06 pm
*Claps*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on June 05, 2012, 04:54:30 pm
Well done sir!
*claps*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fallenworldful on June 05, 2012, 06:39:17 pm
New Newb who stumbled upon this thread and thought it was a good place to begin a (hopefully) long post career.

So... I download and begin playing Dwarf Fortress 0.34.10 after days reading up on how to play and what to do (lazy of me, I know). Everything goes well for about a  year of ingame time...

A section of the Cavern has collapsed! BOOM. Twenty of 23 dwarfs dead due to the entire meeting hall somehow coming down on their heads. I think A dwarf channeled too close, but I never figured out what went wrong. Three wood cutters were outside cutting wood and survived. Ungrateful idiots immediately began a tantrum, killing themselves off.

First !!FUN!!

Successfully beating off multiple Goblin Sieges at this point, with a pop of 145 at this point...

Urist McDwarf (I don't have his name, still trying to find him in legends) cancels job: Mine- Interrupted by Elk Bird. ???

Wait what? Zooming into the area, I find one of my legendary miners is dead, gored by an enraged Elk Bird. It then proceeds to kill my mayor and my broker, as well as two cheesemakers (don't know how the thing did it) I had hauling before a hammerdwarf brought it to its end.

So busy with this, I forget about my magma channeling project going on at the same time. The miner had finally breached the tube and begun diverting it to the pump stack. Where I had left a gap in the wall. Two more dwarfs dead, one on fire and still calmly hauling stuff.

After all that, a grand total of five dead dwarfs and nearly the entire fortress unhappy. No tantrum this time, though.

More !!FUN!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tahujdt on June 05, 2012, 07:02:05 pm
Loyalty cascade because a cat scratched at a dwarf. Not so bad, except Urist McVictim was a +5 Axedwarf carrying a ☼Spoilerite battle axe☼, who decided to hit back.

/facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogut on June 06, 2012, 04:16:55 am
Quote from: tahujdt on June 05, 2012, 07:02:05 pm
Loyalty cascade because a cat scratched at a dwarf. Not so bad, except Urist McVictim was a +5 Axedwarf carrying a ☼Spoilerite battle axe☼, who decided to hit back.

/facepalm
I am not sure  what happened but it was something other than loyalty cascade.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tahujdt on June 06, 2012, 06:44:55 am
Quote from: Kogut on June 06, 2012, 04:16:55 am
Quote from: tahujdt on June 05, 2012, 07:02:05 pm
Loyalty cascade because a cat scratched at a dwarf. Not so bad, except Urist McVictim was a +5 Axedwarf carrying a ☼Spoilerite battle axe☼, who decided to hit back.

/facepalm
I am not sure  what happened but it was something other than loyalty cascade.
Actually, it was. He killed the cat, so another legendary axedwarf killed him, etc. Also, the cat was owned. Maybe that's it?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CheeseMaker on June 06, 2012, 02:19:12 pm
Make my first fortress in quite some time to celebrate the new version.

What's that? Early megabeast? Ok it killed only 2 dwarfs and then bailed out. Another werebeast? feew good thing I have that cage trap. A ambush! and I have how many dwarfs outside? Damn ok 15 new caskets, it seems it's time to make a danger room and get a potent military going. Done, now for a glass of water

Wait what? What do you mean I used Iron Spears instead of training spears? And how many died trying to get the bodies of the first fallen!? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: somebody64 on June 07, 2012, 08:07:40 am
With my last fortress I tried to stop a goblin invasion by luring them in with a non-retracted entrance and some fun cage traps...... they had birds.....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ghostwoods on June 07, 2012, 12:13:06 pm
The first fort I managed to get past a year had a square above-ground wall surrounding refuse, wood dumps, the butcher and tanner, cage stockpiles, pasture, &c. As I headed towards 18 months, I'd had a mood or two, and was starting to get twitchy about sieges. I decided I needed urgent battlements, so I put up some stairs, and designated a full set of fortifications on the wall-top. I also set most of my dwarfs to masonry, to get it done quickly. It never occurred to me to put floors there first.

I didn't really understand what the problem was until I'd had about five minutes of constant "Urist cancels bring water" spam. When I looked, sixty dwarfs were stuck around my fort-top, walled in by battlements they'd placed, busily dying of thirst. I tried to get the few remaining dwarves to build rescue floors, but it was too late. The idiots were too far away.

My remaining six or seven dwarves went raving mad, surrounded by the fortification-entombed corpse-walls of their family and friends.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jasonwill2 on June 08, 2012, 01:16:03 am
Quote from: TerringtonSnyde on June 05, 2012, 05:56:02 am
I had embarked on a volcano for easy magma access, got the fort up and running and churning out valuables in a relatively short time. Then I got greedy, wanted to produce even more good because zomgwealth! and set about constructing auxiliary smelters and forges. For that, of course, I needed some magma to construct over. Naively presuming I had the whole pressure thing more or less worked out, I sent my miner to create a channel down into a small reservoir area, and then hack into the side of the magma tube.

First off, the miner was more or less instantly disintegrated. So much for the hasty retreat to safety I had envisioned him undertaking. The magma flowed down into the reservoir... and directly across the single z-level with a ramp which led there, then out the mining access tunnel, and into the fortress proper. I was feverishly working to establish some sort of damage-control on the situation when, quite literally, within 15 seconds of catastrophic magma containment failure, I receive the notification for a vile force of darkness entering the vicinity. Leaning back with a somewhat beleaguered smirk, I thought to myself "Ha! So they're going to try the old double jeopardy situation on me, eh? Fortunately, for once I have constructed a well-defended entrance with drawbridges and numerous lethal traps designed to ensure gratuitous goblin dismemberment!"

No sooner had the thought crossed my mind then I realized with no small amount of horror that I had probably just jinxed my fledgling fort to oblivion. Sure enough, upon closer examination of the goblins' general direction of movement, I discovered that earlier, in a fit of overzealous strip mining, I had left one single diagonal gap near the base of the volcano connected with the outside world, which my ill-intentioned neighbours had every intention of exploiting. I couldn't even send masons down to construct an impromptu perimeter, as they would always balk and return for a drink upon encountering the now-prodigious magma flow.

The goblins infiltrated my fort from the bottom and reduced the population from 80 to about 30. It was a massacre. I could only watch in dumbfounded resignation as the screams and blood and loose body parts began to fill the halls, combined with smoke and flaming madmen running about as every now and then as some unfortunate individual/pet/invader stumbled or was flung into the magma cascading magnificently down the grand central staircase. All the while (and quite coincidentally), while I watched my entire stronghold quite literally go up in flames, I had been listening to this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeNv8zlzlV8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeNv8zlzlV8)) a rather haunting piano track I had stumbled upon earlier. It added a certain degree of epic finality to the whole debacle.

I decided at this point I'd better give it up as a bad job all around and try again elsewhere.

This... is beyond epic, especially the song added... also hilarious... I wish I could of seen it all!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on June 08, 2012, 07:10:01 am
So, here I am, on a savanna teeming with lions, dingos and rattlesnakes.
Some quick mason and mechanic action later, my fence-lined1) cage traps have caught...

a fucking mongoose?!

 >:(

1)10x1 walls in every cardinal direction with a 1x1 space with the cage trap in the middle, like so:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lainers on June 08, 2012, 09:15:21 am
I just found the best place ever for a new fortress. River, good weather and all... Too bad there was a horde of alligators rampaging the land. Ther are pieces of dwarves around the entire map.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lazygun on June 08, 2012, 10:45:07 am
The new hauling system still catches me out. I built a tallow stockpile next to my soapmaker shop and ordered it to take from my kitchen. Much easier than turning on all the tallow options in the settings for food->glob. Then I wondered why there was a purple cloud coming from my kitchen and prepared meals worth 10K dwarfbucks were being left to rot.

D'oh! Once you make a workshop give to a particular stockpile, the workshop will never give to any stockpile that isn't on the list.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on June 08, 2012, 10:50:50 am
Quote from: TerringtonSnyde on June 05, 2012, 05:56:02 am

I decided at this point I'd better give it up as a bad job all around and try again elsewhere.


Bravo, sir!  It takes epic to make epic.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Blackadder on June 08, 2012, 11:44:33 am
I just started a new fort and I got this migrant. I think he's going to be the leader of my military :P
Also, I'm using masterwork, and he brought a speargolem D:

(http://cdn.9trick.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Awe-inspiring.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on June 08, 2012, 12:44:08 pm
Modded in giant black lizards that assimilate with their bites. Then I forgot I did that and started a fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Devling on June 08, 2012, 12:49:19 pm
So, they bite a dwarf and he becomes a black lizard?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on June 08, 2012, 12:53:50 pm
Yes. A sort of Lizard mini-apocalypse
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: foop on June 08, 2012, 03:52:22 pm
Courtesy of the shoddily constructed minetrack that gets rid of the rock I'm not planning to build stuff out of, I've just been introduced to lava mist.

Before, I didn't know lava mist existed.  My education has been short, brutal, and messy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kumquat on June 08, 2012, 04:05:10 pm

So I set up this little bit of cart track for the above-entrance-level mining operation of limonite with plan to expand it way down to the magma sea later. A couple stockpiles and so on.

Then I noticed the idiot dorfs were wheelbarrowing rocks up from everywhere in the fortress, generally as far away as they could find, just to run them through the cart track. I think some were running down 100 zlevels to the magma forges to grab more boulders.

A few brutal realizations:

- Burrows don't limit stockpiles worth squat, they only screw up workshop materials. *facepalm*

- Thus, outside workshop/stockpile supply chain, there's no way to limit where a stockpile grabs its materials, and I didn't want to use burrowed haulers since I'd forget them and they'd to starve in the quarry. *facepalm*

- Yeah there's a goblin ambush and elf-trader yaks decide to wander around randomly (I guess dfhack pasturizing was the culprit) and out of the 100+ adult migrants there's NOT EVEN ONE MEDICAL DORF and hauling socks and fishing are far more important than dragging a miserable bleeding footless unconscious militia dwarfs to hospital. *facepalm*

- The furnace operators were carrying limonite boulders from the quarry stockpile all the way down to the magma forges rather than using the stockpile on the next z-level up. *facepalm*

... But I guess these don't really count for the intent of this thread. The only minor facepalm of my own was when I realized I had two levers linked to the outer trading airlock bridge and none to the inner.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on June 08, 2012, 04:46:11 pm
Quote from: foop on June 08, 2012, 03:52:22 pm
Courtesy of the shoddily constructed minetrack that gets rid of the rock I'm not planning to build stuff out of, I've just been introduced to lava mist.

Before, I didn't know lava mist existed.  My education has been short, brutal, and messy.

ooooh pretty!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GoombaGeek on June 08, 2012, 05:43:05 pm
Quote from: foop on June 08, 2012, 03:52:22 pm
Courtesy of the shoddily constructed minetrack that gets rid of the rock I'm not planning to build stuff out of, I've just been introduced to lava mist.

Before, I didn't know lava mist existed.  My education has been short, brutal, and messy.
That does sound lovely. Is it like DEATH CONFETTI?

Most importantly, will a dwarf get !!happy thoughts!! by viewing it?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tabbyman on June 08, 2012, 09:47:09 pm
Open tube. OMFG CLOSE IT OFF!!!!

WHEW.

Get greedy now that disaster is sealed off.

OMFG WHERE DID I OPEN IT THIS TIME???

Vertical diagonal drop through a tiny corner that I didn't know was possible, leaking HFS.

So, I lose a miner...

I block off the main mineshaft, and luckily nobody is down there. Just that miner. The other was sleeping.

So they all plug up the top of the shaft, waiting for me to crack a hole in it and restore the path they had.

I dig a separate path to the bottom, crack open a hallway in the depths, and spend half an hour processing the several dwarf-seconds it took to close off the hallway with HFS turning around the other way and killing my FPS.

WHEW! Patched up again.

HOLY CRAP THERE'S MORE COMING OUT ALREADY!

Sent my TWO swordmasters down there, one was SLEEPING so the other one slaughtered every demon and died in the process. I plugged it up again and was thankful to have a remaining swordmaster.

WHEW!

I trained up 10 more swordmasters during peacetime, collected 300 or so candy and was about to start processing it...

And a single titan appears and slaughters my 10 swordmasters in full steel. To be fair, it shot webs so melee was suicidal by default and I had no marksdwarves.

All that trouble over HFS and a single uninvited guest slaughters everything.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on June 08, 2012, 11:04:48 pm
My first time embarking on an ocean beach.
Dug my entrance near the ocean for aesthetic reasons, without knowing that the waves would flood my fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on June 08, 2012, 11:13:15 pm
Embarked between two Dark Fortresses.
Realized I had an aquifer. Got excited, did the 'dirt plug' thing. Um, why is the stairs I made through the plug filling with water? Oh goddamn it. >.< Multi-level aquifer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: keyreper on June 09, 2012, 09:21:42 pm
i got 38 (?) dwarves in one migrant wave on my second year on my second fortress on the third video of my lp...

(thread for vids - http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=110946.0)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: terko on June 10, 2012, 02:42:58 am
Dug down to the magma sea, breached it for some quick smelter jobs and suddenly my fort is almost empty of dwarfes. It's time to stop single-tile up/down stairs straight down.

For some reason someone in the upper floors caught fire and it spread pretty quickly. I still don't know why, but dwarfen population has been halved, now only 37 are alive, more or less.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: necromancerbob on June 10, 2012, 09:33:25 am
The fortress of "Griddled" lived up to it's name in some delicious irony when there was an unholy cascade of "job interpreted" confusion after a single magma crab shot and killed someone on the drawbridge over the volcano to the entrance of the fort, what resulted was everyone trying to pick up the bodies and clean the area as more and more people got stuck in the confusion constantly being spat at and injured by that damn magma crab. There were dwarfs injured on the ground, fighting each other and falling into the volcano. I had to break the supports of the bridge to end the madness...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TolyK on June 10, 2012, 12:15:52 pm
Minecarts and a mess hall. Enough said.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: J75Ghost on June 10, 2012, 12:20:05 pm
Militia Commander is pathing back and forth by a murky pool with soap and a bucket. Check his job: Wash self. good. Check his health: two broken hands.  ::)

Urist McSmelly reporting for duty.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SAFry on June 10, 2012, 04:05:21 pm
Quote from: necromancerbob on June 10, 2012, 09:33:25 am
The fortress of "Griddled" lived up to it's name in some delicious irony when there was an unholy cascade of "job interpreted" confusion after a single magma crab shot and killed someone on the drawbridge over the volcano to the entrance of the fort, what resulted was everyone trying to pick up the bodies and clean the area as more and more people got stuck in the confusion constantly being spat at and injured by that damn magma crab. There were dwarfs injured on the ground, fighting each other and falling into the volcano. I had to break the supports of the bridge to end the madness...

Funny you should say that, I just finished my bridges over the volcano at the entrance to my fort, pastured an iron golem (Masterwork mod) in the middle to detect sneaks. First thing that comes along, a wolverine man goes for the golem, golem dodges and hey presto; brand new, not a scratch on in it, golem goes flying off the bridge to become a magmanaut. Well, at least he found the magma sea before he melted.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Blackadder on June 11, 2012, 10:52:17 pm
I was managing a decent fortress, so far with 70+ dwarves and very good exports, when all of a sudden...

The dead walk!

I had a small military, which after locking down my 2-level airlock, dispatched the necromancer and the swarm of zombies while only sustaining one loss. A tomb was constructed, and all was well. Until of course, a goblin ambush appeared.

After having such success with my crossbowmen in the last siege, I decided they would make short work of a small siege, and let them loose without thinking to lock down my fortress. This was a dumb idea, because a single goblin managed to kill my entire 15 dwarf military by itself, and made it inside, killing several children before it was slain by a dwarf with a pickaxe.

I was picking up the pieces after that, and managed to clean up some of the bloodbath, when I noticed that all of my dwarves were incredibly unhappy. Not wanting a tantrum spiral to occur, I started trying to make the dwarves happier. Before I had a chance, I noticed that a trail of blood was forming inside my fort. After looking at the unit list for a surviving enemy, I noticed one anomaly: "Kivish Sakzulibesh Mozir Unib, Woodworker"

I drafted an emergency military out of miners, but by then it was too late. He had already slaughtered my entire fort's population of children, and elevated himself to Legendary status. He then proceeded to disembowel every last one my my fort's 59 remaining dwarves. I've never lost a fort so quickly before. I managed to send a Demigod adventurer to the site afterword, with whom I disarmed Kivish by slashing at his hand, then stabbed him in the chest, and while he was impaled, I bashed his skull in with my shield. I seriously love this game D:

I couldn't get a pic of the bloodbath in time before it quit, but here's a pic of the outside, with the woodworker's body.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wyrmnax on June 12, 2012, 11:29:58 am
Covered the whole sky in a giant magma pool, with hundreds of magma safe hatches ready to drop down the magma to the world below to destroy besieging goblins.

Pull the lever when the next siege arrives.

Remember my fortress is underground, and magma obeys gravity.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on June 12, 2012, 03:29:10 pm
was playing late at night...had sorted through six dozen bins to sort out all the xClothingx and large clothing to sell to the dwarven caravan...with an on-the-table value of 145000+ bucks...and was starting to work my way down my wants on the left.... I was close to done selecting the last little bit of food and thread and crutches, etc to take from the caravan....  I had spent over an hour on trading...and accidentally hit ESC.

poof...gone.

The caravan was a few in-game ticks from leaving and the game was still paused, so I saved and exited in disgust.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on June 12, 2012, 11:08:47 pm
That SUCKS.

I had a siege happen is Shadebeast, FINALLY. God, I've never waited so long for a siege, it took like four-five years. The siege comes, the first squad wanders in front of my closed gate, which is a dumbass idea on their part, I like to lay the traps on thick by my main entrance. They mostly die, and I capture their leader. I kill the trolls trying to break my first Goblin Grinder hatch with Upright Copper spikes. The last squad climbs my mountain all the way to the top... Then they just disappear in the ten seconds I wasn't watching. I'm assuming they fled, but damn it, I FINALLY GOT A SIEGE, AND HALF THE BASTARDS ESCAPED.
 >:( Grr. Not really much of a facepalm, but frustrating.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Corai on June 12, 2012, 11:12:01 pm
Quote from: Wyrmnax on June 12, 2012, 11:29:58 am
Covered the whole sky in a giant magma pool, with hundreds of magma safe hatches ready to drop down the magma to the world below to destroy besieging goblins.

Pull the lever when the next siege arrives.

Remember my fortress is underground, and magma obeys gravity.

PICTURES.


NOW. IF THIS IS REAL, THEN (no offense) SCREW AUSSIE'S INSANE ANTICS.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on June 12, 2012, 11:19:45 pm
You haven't heard of the magma rods from god system yet Corai? I thought it was common knowledge.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkrider2 on June 13, 2012, 11:59:54 pm
I embarked on an evil mountain next to a desert. As with all deserts, buzzards were flying about trying to steal my food, and I forgot to bring a military dwarf with me. Not five minutes into it and an abominable soot rolls in, I had never encountered this ever before. So I just kinda hoped it would go by and not really do anything, I was wrong.

First it passes nearby, and every buzzard becomes a buzzard abominal soot thrall and continues trying to eat my food, some of them start attacking dwarves. I started digging down but I was a little too late. The soot then thralls 6 of my dwarves and they start running around like madmen doing I don't even know what.

The only dwarf who didn't get soot thralled was one of the miners cause he was busy digging a room, he emerges from below to see the caravan robbed of all its food, buzzards and dwarves fighting each other to the death, a huge fog slowly drifting away in the distance, and a dwarf rushing at him full speed...

I face palmed and abandoned that fort.

EDIT: Happened again. What does "Opposed to Life" mean?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reudh on June 14, 2012, 01:28:06 am
Kills anything considered alive.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkrider2 on June 14, 2012, 05:59:22 am
Aww, I was hoping they would at least kill undead.

Anyway I was (helplessly) watching one of these things go to work and it killed a dwarf while leaving no identifying marks behind other than huge spatters of blood, it literally ripped the dwarf into pieces so small the game didn't track it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Twiggie on June 14, 2012, 09:49:31 am
I just realised pearlash is actually pearl ash, not pear lash.

-.-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wyrmnax on June 14, 2012, 10:44:47 am
Fully engraved fortress entrance + magma river trap.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xenogenic on June 14, 2012, 04:21:26 pm
Mixing up "make ash" with "make charcoal" .... 180 bars of unwanted ash later, during a tree shortage.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: IronTomato on June 14, 2012, 09:17:02 pm
-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on June 14, 2012, 09:24:33 pm
Quote from: Xenogenic on June 14, 2012, 04:21:26 pm
Mixing up "make ash" with "make charcoal" .... 180 bars of unwanted ash later, during a tree shortage.
Time to make a soap tower!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sean_Noy on June 14, 2012, 09:46:36 pm
This is my first post on the forums, so it seems fitting that it be in a Facepalm thread.
Okay.
I had FINALLY made a good fort with a fledgling metal industry, sustainable farms, and year round access to water. While digging out a stairwell for a new floor, I discovered a huge natural cavern. I decided to divert some of the river into the caverns to flood out any nasty beasties. While my miners were digging the channel, they fell and broke their legs on the cavern floor. Deciding I had come too far to stop now, I designated two more miners and had them break through to the river. When the first attempt wasn't flooding the cavern fast enough, I had the miners widen the hole.
I wound up with three badly wounded miners and a dead miner at the bottom of a slowly flooding cave, along with all of my picks.
I abandoned in shame.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on June 14, 2012, 09:56:51 pm
Quote from: Sean_Noy on June 14, 2012, 09:46:36 pm
This is my first post on the forums, so it seems fitting that it be in a Facepalm thread.
Okay.
I had FINALLY made a good fort with a fledgling metal industry, sustainable farms, and year round access to water. While digging out a stairwell for a new floor, I discovered a huge natural cavern. I decided to divert some of the river into the caverns to flood out any nasty beasties. While my miners were digging the channel, they fell and broke their legs on the cavern floor. Deciding I had come too far to stop now, I designated two more miners and had them break through to the river. When the first attempt wasn't flooding the cavern fast enough, I had the miners widen the hole.
I wound up with three badly wounded miners and a dead miner at the bottom of a slowly flooding cave, along with all of my picks.
I abandoned in shame.
You abandoned!?! Shameful indeed. I dont adandon till 95% of the poulation is dead, not dying you here, DEAD. You could have easily
1. Made more picks with you metal industry
2. Realized that mining is a replaceable profession
3. Realize that a rivers water is endless, i.e. if you try to flood a cavern, it will FLOOD, and overflow to the top.
4. Realize that caverns are harmless and just-plain fun training for the military and butchers, except for the deeper ones. They can be terrifying. Do you know what GCS poison does to a dwarf? *shudders* and the FBs, so random, and yet so possibly terrifying or hilarious.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sean_Noy on June 14, 2012, 10:04:20 pm
Quote from: misko27 on June 14, 2012, 09:56:51 pm
Quote from: Sean_Noy on June 14, 2012, 09:46:36 pm
This is my first post on the forums, so it seems fitting that it be in a Facepalm thread.
Okay.
I had FINALLY made a good fort with a fledgling metal industry, sustainable farms, and year round access to water. While digging out a stairwell for a new floor, I discovered a huge natural cavern. I decided to divert some of the river into the caverns to flood out any nasty beasties. While my miners were digging the channel, they fell and broke their legs on the cavern floor. Deciding I had come too far to stop now, I designated two more miners and had them break through to the river. When the first attempt wasn't flooding the cavern fast enough, I had the miners widen the hole.
I wound up with three badly wounded miners and a dead miner at the bottom of a slowly flooding cave, along with all of my picks.
I abandoned in shame.
You abandoned!?! Shameful indeed. I dont adandon till 95% of the poulation is dead, not dying you here, DEAD. You could have easily
1. Made more picks with you metal industry
2. Realized that mining is a replaceable profession
3. Realize that a rivers water is endless, i.e. if you try to flood a cavern, it will FLOOD, and overflow to the top.
4. Realize that caverns are harmless and just-plain fun training for the military and butchers, except for the deeper ones. They can be terrifying. Do you know what GCS poison does to a dwarf? *shudders* and the FBs, so random, and yet so possibly terrifying or hilarious.
Considering I had drowned most of my previous fort, I don't know why I thought breaching the river was a good idea.
But losing is Fun, as they say.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on June 14, 2012, 10:27:05 pm
Quote from: Sean_Noy on June 14, 2012, 10:04:20 pm
Quote from: misko27 on June 14, 2012, 09:56:51 pm
Quote from: Sean_Noy on June 14, 2012, 09:46:36 pm
This is my first post on the forums, so it seems fitting that it be in a Facepalm thread.
Okay.
I had FINALLY made a good fort with a fledgling metal industry, sustainable farms, and year round access to water. While digging out a stairwell for a new floor, I discovered a huge natural cavern. I decided to divert some of the river into the caverns to flood out any nasty beasties. While my miners were digging the channel, they fell and broke their legs on the cavern floor. Deciding I had come too far to stop now, I designated two more miners and had them break through to the river. When the first attempt wasn't flooding the cavern fast enough, I had the miners widen the hole.
I wound up with three badly wounded miners and a dead miner at the bottom of a slowly flooding cave, along with all of my picks.
I abandoned in shame.
You abandoned!?! Shameful indeed. I dont adandon till 95% of the poulation is dead, not dying you here, DEAD. You could have easily
1. Made more picks with you metal industry
2. Realized that mining is a replaceable profession
3. Realize that a rivers water is endless, i.e. if you try to flood a cavern, it will FLOOD, and overflow to the top.
4. Realize that caverns are harmless and just-plain fun training for the military and butchers, except for the deeper ones. They can be terrifying. Do you know what GCS poison does to a dwarf? *shudders* and the FBs, so random, and yet so possibly terrifying or hilarious.
Considering I had drowned most of my previous fort, I don't know why I thought breaching the river was a good idea.
But losing is Fun, as they say.
What were you doing to drown your fort? I generally design my forts in a way that water is never near the entrance, except ONCE. That was bad, one missed designation. NOw, I design my forts to be Floodable as a self-destruct. Hmm...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sean_Noy on June 14, 2012, 10:34:00 pm
Quote from: misko27 on June 14, 2012, 10:27:05 pm
Quote from: Sean_Noy on June 14, 2012, 10:04:20 pm
Quote from: misko27 on June 14, 2012, 09:56:51 pm
Quote from: Sean_Noy on June 14, 2012, 09:46:36 pm
This is my first post on the forums, so it seems fitting that it be in a Facepalm thread.
Okay.
I had FINALLY made a good fort with a fledgling metal industry, sustainable farms, and year round access to water. While digging out a stairwell for a new floor, I discovered a huge natural cavern. I decided to divert some of the river into the caverns to flood out any nasty beasties. While my miners were digging the channel, they fell and broke their legs on the cavern floor. Deciding I had come too far to stop now, I designated two more miners and had them break through to the river. When the first attempt wasn't flooding the cavern fast enough, I had the miners widen the hole.
I wound up with three badly wounded miners and a dead miner at the bottom of a slowly flooding cave, along with all of my picks.
I abandoned in shame.
You abandoned!?! Shameful indeed. I dont adandon till 95% of the poulation is dead, not dying you here, DEAD. You could have easily
1. Made more picks with you metal industry
2. Realized that mining is a replaceable profession
3. Realize that a rivers water is endless, i.e. if you try to flood a cavern, it will FLOOD, and overflow to the top.
4. Realize that caverns are harmless and just-plain fun training for the military and butchers, except for the deeper ones. They can be terrifying. Do you know what GCS poison does to a dwarf? *shudders* and the FBs, so random, and yet so possibly terrifying or hilarious.
Considering I had drowned most of my previous fort, I don't know why I thought breaching the river was a good idea.
But losing is Fun, as they say.
What were you doing to drown your fort? I generally design my forts in a way that water is never near the entrance, except ONCE. That was bad, one missed designation. NOw, I design my forts to be Floodable as a self-destruct. Hmm...

"Hmm, I bet if I dig a single Z-level deep channel and breach the river it will fill the channel like a little trough and I HAVE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE ABANDON FORT"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on June 14, 2012, 11:08:05 pm
Quote from: Sean_Noy on June 14, 2012, 10:34:00 pm
Quote from: misko27 on June 14, 2012, 10:27:05 pm
Quote from: Sean_Noy on June 14, 2012, 10:04:20 pm
Quote from: misko27 on June 14, 2012, 09:56:51 pm
Quote from: Sean_Noy on June 14, 2012, 09:46:36 pm
This is my first post on the forums, so it seems fitting that it be in a Facepalm thread.
Okay.
I had FINALLY made a good fort with a fledgling metal industry, sustainable farms, and year round access to water. While digging out a stairwell for a new floor, I discovered a huge natural cavern. I decided to divert some of the river into the caverns to flood out any nasty beasties. While my miners were digging the channel, they fell and broke their legs on the cavern floor. Deciding I had come too far to stop now, I designated two more miners and had them break through to the river. When the first attempt wasn't flooding the cavern fast enough, I had the miners widen the hole.
I wound up with three badly wounded miners and a dead miner at the bottom of a slowly flooding cave, along with all of my picks.
I abandoned in shame.
You abandoned!?! Shameful indeed. I dont adandon till 95% of the poulation is dead, not dying you here, DEAD. You could have easily
1. Made more picks with you metal industry
2. Realized that mining is a replaceable profession
3. Realize that a rivers water is endless, i.e. if you try to flood a cavern, it will FLOOD, and overflow to the top.
4. Realize that caverns are harmless and just-plain fun training for the military and butchers, except for the deeper ones. They can be terrifying. Do you know what GCS poison does to a dwarf? *shudders* and the FBs, so random, and yet so possibly terrifying or hilarious.
Considering I had drowned most of my previous fort, I don't know why I thought breaching the river was a good idea.
But losing is Fun, as they say.
What were you doing to drown your fort? I generally design my forts in a way that water is never near the entrance, except ONCE. That was bad, one missed designation. NOw, I design my forts to be Floodable as a self-destruct. Hmm...

"Hmm, I bet if I dig a single Z-level deep channel and breach the river it will fill the channel like a little trough and I HAVE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE ABANDON FORT"
See, Thats my problem here. I started a flood in a similar manner, for entirly different reasons. I was funneling water over to the mist gereator, and I dont knowwhat happened, but a hole was punched to my farms. It quickly overtook my workshop area, though severa ldwarves on the level were saved by quick thinking. Much of the water started draining down my main staircase, isolating the dwarves on the dining room level and mining areas. A sloor hatch blocked the water from draining deeper, and the bedrooms were quickly flooded. All I could save were dwarves in their rooms; the mayor, the sick, and the wounded were stranded by lack of doors. Things could not have looked bleaker, until you realize that the fort was coming out of a tantrum spiral that had claimed the lives of 70 dwarves, 100 remained. Then as all seemed lost, winter struck, freezing the river and stopping the flow of water. This allowed for the flood to evaporate, though the water was still surging through the fort, and the stranded wounded (of which there were many, by the way. Nasty Spiral, only averted by that Mist generator.) Would drown long before evaporation had brought levels down to a place where rescue was a option. Thinking Quickly, the head miner dug down from the dining room and connected a mining area a z-level down form the Bedrooms. He then Punched a hole in the infirmary. Relief spread quickly through the fort as water drained into the sytem, and the floor hatch was opened to allopw further drainage. Unfortunately, theire were casualties, mostly sustained through falls, a large number of wounded drained along with the water, leading to further, if slight injuries. All-in-all 10 dwarves died.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on June 15, 2012, 06:00:56 am
Quote from: misko27 on June 14, 2012, 11:08:05 pm
See, Thats my problem here. I started a flood in a similar manner, for entirly different reasons. I was funneling water over to the mist gereator, and I dont knowwhat happened, but a hole was punched to my farms. It quickly overtook my workshop area, though severa ldwarves on the level were saved by quick thinking. Much of the water started draining down my main staircase, isolating the dwarves on the dining room level and mining areas. A sloor hatch blocked the water from draining deeper, and the bedrooms were quickly flooded. All I could save were dwarves in their rooms; the mayor, the sick, and the wounded were stranded by lack of doors. Things could not have looked bleaker, until you realize that the fort was coming out of a tantrum spiral that had claimed the lives of 70 dwarves, 100 remained. Then as all seemed lost, winter struck, freezing the river and stopping the flow of water. This allowed for the flood to evaporate, though the water was still surging through the fort, and the stranded wounded (of which there were many, by the way. Nasty Spiral, only averted by that Mist generator.) Would drown long before evaporation had brought levels down to a place where rescue was a option. Thinking Quickly, the head miner dug down from the dining room and connected a mining area a z-level down form the Bedrooms. He then Punched a hole in the infirmary. Relief spread quickly through the fort as water drained into the sytem, and the floor hatch was opened to allopw further drainage. Unfortunately, theire were casualties, mostly sustained through falls, a large number of wounded drained along with the water, leading to further, if slight injuries. All-in-all 10 dwarves died.

And this is why water is used on a daily basis for everything.
Also, only ten?

Now for mine:
WAY back in 0.31.25, before I remembered my forums password, I had one dwarf among many. He inflicted disease on those he maced. Some say that he had unnatural powers.

I say that his brother's rotting hand still gripped the mace, saddening the dwarf and sending him to !!FUN!! City, population &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&, right after he slew 85% of my population.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Phillammon on June 15, 2012, 06:45:44 am
Posting to watch. Also, one of my own- second fort ever, noticed as I was embarking that I had a lot of embark points left, was vaguely wondering why, but decided not to assign them.

Turned out I'd forgotten to bring any food or alcohol.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: IronTomato on June 15, 2012, 10:04:50 am
Quote from: Phillammon on June 15, 2012, 06:45:44 am
Posting to watch. Also, one of my own- second fort ever, noticed as I was embarking that I had a lot of embark points left, was vaguely wondering why, but decided not to assign them.

Turned out I'd forgotten to bring any food or alcohol.
Finally! This happened to someone besides me!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Phillammon on June 15, 2012, 10:17:53 am
Quote from: IronTomato on June 15, 2012, 10:04:50 am
Quote from: Phillammon on June 15, 2012, 06:45:44 am
Posting to watch. Also, one of my own- second fort ever, noticed as I was embarking that I had a lot of embark points left, was vaguely wondering why, but decided not to assign them.

Turned out I'd forgotten to bring any food or alcohol.
Finally! This happened to someone besides me!

Manage to survive to thrive... well, relatively... until the caravan came along with booze and food.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on June 15, 2012, 10:29:02 am
AFter nearly a year of playing this game, I noticed the up/down stair designate. I'd been manually having them made....

I won't lie, i kinda wish I could go back to when I had no idea what I was doing....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WriterX on June 15, 2012, 04:23:22 pm
Not realizing Lye freezes. When I wanted to start making soap during the winter my first thought was "Where is my Lye?! I have all this Tallow... I must make MORE LYE!"

*one Wiki check later*

"Oh..."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on June 16, 2012, 12:27:51 pm
Lye frozen in buckets = Dead patients in hospital.

Don't activate the self destruct if the fight isn't over yet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on June 16, 2012, 01:51:12 pm
Modded in an awesome flaming metal to make cool weapons out of.

Embark, settlers have masks made of the metal.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxy15 on June 16, 2012, 01:55:28 pm
Quote from: Twiggie on June 14, 2012, 09:49:31 am
I just realised pearlash is actually pearl ash, not pear lash.

-.-
Wait, WHAT?!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on June 16, 2012, 03:12:21 pm
Quote from: jaxy15 on June 16, 2012, 01:55:28 pm
Quote from: Twiggie on June 14, 2012, 09:49:31 am
I just realised pearlash is actually pearl ash, not pear lash.

-.-
Wait, WHAT?!
WHAT!?!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sirinon on June 17, 2012, 05:02:24 am
When an army or warlocks backed onto a Goblin/White tigerman Seige and  turned everything into Zombies,  300 + Zombies later and my army was overcome, the fortress fell in under a minute.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on June 17, 2012, 06:30:29 pm
Quote from: sirinon on June 17, 2012, 05:02:24 am
When an army or warlocks backed onto a Goblin/White tigerman Seige and  turned everything into Zombies,  300 + Zombies later and my army was overcome, the fortress fell in under a minute.
How is that a facepalm though?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sirinon on June 17, 2012, 09:09:53 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on June 17, 2012, 06:30:29 pm
Quote from: sirinon on June 17, 2012, 05:02:24 am
When an army or warlocks backed onto a Goblin/White tigerman Seige and  turned everything into Zombies,  300 + Zombies later and my army was overcome, the fortress fell in under a minute.
How is that a facepalm though?

I forgot that the Magic system in DF 34.10 is scary as hell and designed my fort for non magic defense.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on June 18, 2012, 01:44:36 am
Humans are squishy wizards, until they put on armor, then they're not so squishy.
Damn you TVtropes.


Facepalm: Built a goblin grinder. Forgot to link the hatches to the pressure plates. That was a short fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hobbie on June 18, 2012, 12:29:48 pm
I spent hours assembling a mine cart track that was entirely walled off, didn't intersect any halls or take any sort of priority in pathing, etc.  Fire it up for the test run and SOMEHOW a lyemaker on break paths up the ramp and gets flattened by the mine cart. Seriously, how and why he was there...ugh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on June 18, 2012, 06:17:50 pm
Quote from: Hobbie on June 18, 2012, 12:29:48 pm
I spent hours assembling a mine cart track that was entirely walled off, didn't intersect any halls or take any sort of priority in pathing, etc.  Fire it up for the test run and SOMEHOW a lyemaker on break paths up the ramp and gets flattened by the mine cart. Seriously, how and why he was there...ugh.
Look on the brightside: It was a lyemaker.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: warwizard on June 18, 2012, 07:34:06 pm
Got a new computer and cranked the frame rate to 200, genned a huge map 500 year history in 19 min 38 seconds , had an 8X8 embark everything fine so far, fortress started, first two migrant waves there got a lot of steel made from my starting embark points, so was a happy overseer, dug out a large magma chamber about 20x40 spaces, with some good ores dropped so decided to do d-b-d and band box the area, and set a garbage dump next to the channeled slope into the chamber, and put my attention elsewhere...

Suddenly I have 3 injured dwarves, somebody dropped a rock down the slope. Hmm fluke, went back to my micromanagement, ordering up stuff to build and doing stock piles and so forth...

Now I have dwarves found dead, I look at the slope and there are dead and injured dwarves and the entire dump pile of bolders at the bottom of the slope. The tantrums begin. Time passes so fast I did not realize the Dwarven caravan had been there so long, I order the clothing from the dead to be hauled to the depot, but was unable to get the trade done, and the merchants pack up, I had forgotten to make more booze after the initial 125 that I had made, and I had thirsty dwarves, then winter hit and the ponds froze, no well was built yet, I got 4 or 5 barrells of booze made and the drinking started, but dwarves were dropping dead all over the place, one died while drinking, and his wife, a miner with a steel pick goes berserk, now all my plants , the still and existing booze are all inaccessable due to this berserk dwarfette guarding the body of her beloved husband. The dead are lining the hallways three insane are babbling in corners, one dwarf is still responding to needs, and I build a still and brew a few booze then make some coffins, as the ghosts start rising, and then my last responsive dwarf goes to get the miner's husband for burial, a chase ensues with multiple severings, and now I can just sit and watch, then the screen jumps to a map edge... You have migrants!

Setting my frame rate cap back to 100, and moving any future dump zones at least two steps from a hole I do not want the garbage tossed into.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DrTaco on June 18, 2012, 08:58:09 pm
My Legendary miner - after deciding to start Operation: Break the last piece of rock and separates the river from the new moat, then decides it would be a great idea to fall asleep - as the water comes rushing in. I have one pick left, and the woodworkers are too busy drinking, sleeping, and going on break to craft beds that have pissed off most of us for the last month!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on June 18, 2012, 11:22:02 pm
Don't let obvious human vampire diplomats wander around for too long. They will inevitably feed. I honestly figured that being as diplomats don't seem to need to eat that he would be safe and leave without any trouble. He wasn't very secretive either. He had the vampire night creature tile.

Seriously mayor, if you were doing your job he would have left.  ::)
But I guess you regret that more than me, I mean it wasn't me he was following all day.  :P

Afterwards, I set my militia after him. Those vampire bastards are pretty damn fast. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shrike.ex on June 19, 2012, 04:28:03 pm
I got 32 migrants in a wave about 2 years in.  Of these , 14 were peasants, the rest fisherdwarves and tanners, and one High Master Weaponsmith.  En route to my fort, they are accosted by a undead giant eagle, who proceeds to kill one, and only one dwarf before fleeing. 

-.-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haspen on June 19, 2012, 04:35:46 pm
Quote from: shrike.ex on June 19, 2012, 04:28:03 pm
I got 32 migrants in a wave about 2 years in.  Of these , 14 were peasants, the rest fisherdwarves and tanners, and one High Master Weaponsmith.  En route to my fort, they are accosted by a undead giant eagle, who proceeds to kill one, and only one dwarf before fleeing. 

-.-

Poor Peasant #11 :(

:P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on June 19, 2012, 10:18:05 pm
Quote from: Haspen on June 19, 2012, 04:35:46 pm
Quote from: shrike.ex on June 19, 2012, 04:28:03 pm
I got 32 migrants in a wave about 2 years in.  Of these , 14 were peasants, the rest fisherdwarves and tanners, and one High Master Weaponsmith.  En route to my fort, they are accosted by a undead giant eagle, who proceeds to kill one, and only one dwarf before fleeing. 

-.-

Poor Peasant #11 :(

:P

This is Dwarf Fortress. It was the High Master Weaponsmith. The good news is he is easily replaced from the faceless masses your swarm Fortress just absorbed welcomed with open arms. Make copper weapons ALL day with the little bastard. Or silver, I don't judge.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on June 19, 2012, 10:21:25 pm
Them silver beatin' sticks are quite handy in skilled hands actually. and even the cheap ones fetch a good price on open market...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on June 19, 2012, 10:27:11 pm
Not to mention... Experience for your peasant HIGH MASTER WEAPONSMITH!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PainRack on June 20, 2012, 08:57:32 am
The time my dwarven caravan, dwarves and domestic pack decided to go jump off the waterfall. I spent a long time trying to stop that from happening after I save scummed by digging a bridge/floor tiles underneath/grates........ but it just didn't work.

And the site was beautiful. A long waterfall with carp,camels, sedimentary stone and stuff.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neekerbreeker on June 20, 2012, 03:24:51 pm
My latest artifact:

Kezkig Amem -- The Connection of Curls, a dog-leather face veil

This is a dog leather face veil.  All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality.  It is decorated with jabberer bone and encircled with bands of birch and oval galena cabochons.  This object is adorned with hanging rings of  tunnel tube and menaces with spikes of dog leather and nickel silver.  On the item is an image of two muck roots in galena.  On the item is an image of waves in rope reed fiber. 

Dog leather?  Jabberer bone?  Muck roots?  What fine dwarven lass wouldn't want to wear that for her wedding?

At least it had some silver on it. 

On the plus side, I now have two . . . legendary . . . tanners.   Gad, I can't take it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Megaman3321 on June 20, 2012, 03:54:42 pm
So, I drafted some new militia to replace the dorfs who died at the hands of the 2 vampires I had in my fort. I tell them to get equipped, so they do. Just one problem: they refuse to drop the extra clothing they're wearing, so I end up just hoping for the best and sending them into the danger room. I set the lever to repeat. Just one problem: the lever for my front door and the lever for my danger room are right next to each other.

I think you can see where this is going.

I end up with 2 people getting drawbridges dropped on their heads, and a legendary engraver gets a broken leg and I have to set up a hospital.

*Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on June 20, 2012, 04:07:19 pm
Trolls. I hate trolls. I wish I had aerial creature-mounted dwarves with crossbows in each hand JUST FOR TROLLS.

They broke my trap hatch before my little dorfies could pull the 'DIE TROLLS DIE' lever. Now I have to kill them the old fashioned way.  >:( Hanslanda is not amused.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: terko on June 21, 2012, 02:47:27 am
Did open up one of the caverns in the first half year by accident (sometimes, it's not deep down ... geez) and immediately started to wall it off as good as possible. Suddenly a cave troll is inside my fortress, running up all the way to the surface, hunting down one cat, killing it and moving off the map. No real harm done. And I was already like: damn.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Unknown-Figure1 on June 21, 2012, 10:06:27 am
Web attacks are unbalanced. :/ I keep using the CTRL-ALT-DELETE sequence every time a black fiend webs me in what has to be the cheapest attack ever: Unwebbed, I can hit him on an equal basis. Within a web, however, I always miss him even with a Legendary weapon skill level. >.>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spooky on June 21, 2012, 01:45:46 pm
I embarked in a nice little hilly area, with a good amount of trees and fruits to support my fort.

Things were going swimmingly for the first few migrant waves, when suddenly I notice 'Urist McMason has been interrupted by Giant Gray Langur'

Confused, and not knowing what a Langur was at the time (http://www.discoverlife.org/IM/I_TS/0004/320/Trachypithecus_geei,_golden_langur,I_TS478.jpg), I looked over at what was now the deceased corpse of my mason, laying on top of the body of an already slaughtered child of mine. I drafted my woodcutter and my hunter who begin to beat them back, but in the chaos a Langur ripped the arms off of the other dwarven child in the fort then tackled him to death. My expedition commander dealt with that one to a pickaxe to the face, but received a crippled leg in the process. My hunter drove most of the rest off, after pumping 30-ish crossbow bolts into a now named Giant Langur, who ended up falling in and out of consciousness outside my fort for a few months before someone dispatched it.

This, and rampant kobold thievery made me realize that I needed weapons and armor, and fast. My current fighters were all armed with copper daggers taken from dead kobolds (FUN FACT: all the kobolds died via their skulls being punched through by my militia commander), so I set to attempting to make charcoal, not having found any coal yet. I stacked up a queue of charcoal, and set myself to other matters.

A dwarf month or so later, I come back to add more to the queue, which somehow was still full. Puzzled, I changed several labor jobs to include furnace operating, thinking that was the problem.

Apparently not, as it was still not being worked. I built another one, making sure there was nothing blocking it and I had a full wood stockpile. 3 dwarf months later, neither furnace has been touched since they were built. So yeah, bit of a frustration facepalm on my part.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: D34dlock on June 21, 2012, 02:28:20 pm
How long did it take to figure out you need Wood Burning to make charcoal?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: guitarxe on June 21, 2012, 02:46:18 pm
One of my first face-palm moments was when I finally figured out that to survive I should build a wall! So I did, a diagonal one. Then facepalmed when invaders simply walked "through" the wall diagonally...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on June 21, 2012, 02:50:16 pm
Quote from: guitarxe on June 21, 2012, 02:46:18 pm
One of my first face-palm moments was when I finally figured out that to survive I should build a wall! So I did, a diagonal one. Then facepalmed when invaders simply walked "through" the wall diagonally...

LAWL!!!  Not to laugh at your misfortune...more to recall my own facepalm the first time that happened to me! :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sarkovar on June 21, 2012, 03:45:10 pm
I closed my main gate/bridge while some dorfs where standing on it, so they got flipped off and injured, in my rush to have them carried to safety I opened the gate immediately so my CMD could get to them. She was standing under the bridge when I opened it and got Atom smashed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on June 21, 2012, 04:11:06 pm
Quote from: guitarxe on June 21, 2012, 02:46:18 pm
One of my first face-palm moments was when I finally figured out that to survive I should build a wall! So I did, a diagonal one. Then facepalmed when invaders simply walked "through" the wall diagonally...

The first wall I built was of fortifications.  My dwarves died like fish in a barrel.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slayerhero90 on June 21, 2012, 08:19:40 pm
I recently tried to volcano-scout, and tried building off of a bridge. Poor, Poor, NotUrist  :(. (only mason, no migrants)
I had just reclaimed after not knowing that attacking the stubborn merchants who refuse to leave causes a loyalty cascade. I had 4 successful artifacts, and in 1.5 years as well. A shit-ton of gold, silver, lead, copper, and iron, with some native aluminum as well. NOT TO MENTION CINNABAR! :'(

Basically, I just had my first FUN ever.  :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spooky on June 21, 2012, 11:18:39 pm
Quote from: D34dlock on June 21, 2012, 02:28:20 pm
How long did it take to figure out you need Wood Burning to make charcoal?

I had wood burners, but they didn't care. I still don't have any charcoal.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on June 22, 2012, 10:54:27 am
Quote from: Spooky on June 21, 2012, 11:18:39 pm
Quote from: D34dlock on June 21, 2012, 02:28:20 pm
How long did it take to figure out you need Wood Burning to make charcoal?

I had wood burners, but they didn't care. I still don't have any charcoal.

Weird.  Do you have a military alert or burrows set that are keeping the dwarves away from the furnace?  Is it possible that you have a dwarf whose profession is "wood burner" but his/her job preference for wood burning is turned off?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on June 22, 2012, 10:01:06 pm
Well, I just discovered my megaproject is entirely off by 1 square tile in each direction.
Unfortunately, i learned soon after that doing mass deconstructions on a multi-level above-ground progect is a terrible idea.
Then I learned that children have soft heads.
Then I learned that if 2 tons of microcline falls on you, you gonna suffocate.
Finally, I learned that adamantine greaves were possibly my best investment ever. (turns out a legendary swordsdwarf was in the area, but fortunately, his adamantine greaves absorbed the entire impact.  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Child of Armok on June 23, 2012, 11:12:34 am
My migrants come and 50% is directly stricen by melanocholy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on June 23, 2012, 12:51:53 pm
Quote from: Child of Armok on June 23, 2012, 11:12:34 am
My migrants come and 50% is directly stricen by melanocholy.

Urist McMigrant punches the Melancholy in the lower body with his right hand, but the attack glances away!
The Melancholy kicks Urist McMigrant in the head, shattering the skull and tearing the brain!
Urist McMigrant has been struck down!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on June 24, 2012, 12:19:22 am
Quote from: misko27 on June 22, 2012, 10:01:06 pm
Well, I just discovered my megaproject is entirely off by 1 square tile in each direction.
Unfortunately, i learned soon after that doing mass deconstructions on a multi-level above-ground progect is a terrible idea.
Then I learned that children have soft heads.
Then I learned that if 2 tons of microcline falls on you, you gonna suffocate.
Finally, I learned that adamantine greaves were possibly my best investment ever. (turns out a legendary swordsdwarf was in the area, but fortunately, his adamantine greaves absorbed the entire impact.  :D

And that kids is how shock absorbers were invented.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Axemurderer on June 24, 2012, 05:45:19 pm
Urist McFishcleaner was possessed. So this being my first working fortress, I was confused on what to do about it. So I let him go about his business. Everyone else just worked, but he stood still in the dining area. Still being hopeful that he'd get over the possession. And he did, by getting insane and going berserk. Punching another dwarf to death. I know nothing about the military, but some how managed to form a squad. It contained only one dwarf, my woodcutter. He ran to the dining room and hacked the fishcleaners arm off. It was a brief battle which ended on fishcleaner death by bleeding. A burial was held. After that, I did some digging on the wiki and found out that the possessed/moody dwarf could have made an artifact.  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dustylou2 on June 24, 2012, 05:52:01 pm
It's the first ambush of this fortress. There are about 5 spear goblins and 1 hammer goblin. My two military dwarves are both covered in full steel (mail shirts AND breastplates, both exceptional or masterwork, with all the fixings), and are Great or better Swordsdwarves. I figure that they can take them. After all, spears can't really do much to them, can they?

One goblin loses his legs before both of the dwarves are on the ground, crippled with shattered legs because of silver warhammer man. Then they both get pummelled to dust by the remaining enemies. Wonderful.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xheia on June 24, 2012, 10:29:10 pm
Sorry this is a little out of place: In adventure mode, I realized that I could press "service" more than once to get more quests. Before, I thought that only nobles in keeps could give you quests, and one at a time (after the villagers started directing to leaders).

Now I have 3 pages of quests.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eoganachta on June 25, 2012, 06:04:04 am
After a long day of dumping body parts before they reannimate and try to strangle you I like to...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Eoganacta cancels Drink, throwing Tantrum!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jasonwill2 on June 25, 2012, 10:59:53 am
I had an awesome fort spot going from a brook to the top of a volcano that had two peaks, a part full of lava and another not. I planned to make a bridge from the lava peak to the non-lava peak then pump water down the non-lava peak into a semi artificial waterfall and stream.

Anyway my previous fort died to sneaky zombies, so I had everything set. Eventually zombies did come... twice in big numbers. But before that I was low on food and booze, and pissed off my homeland caravan and they left. When the first zombie wave came I put up the bridge, but a lot of my dwarves were still running around like crazy. I think now it may of been the zombie that was near the wall on the mountain side of the little outdoor area around the Trade Depot.

Anyway eventually the shortage of food made a bunch of people die. Eventually my 4 man militia, all legendary by then, took on the hoards after my 35 dwarfs dwindled to 16 or so (I will get to that soon). We grew just enough food and I found some fish to live off of we had stored away. As well now owner-less pets could be eaten.

We just had to wait for a caravan to arrive... none ever did... never, for the year and a half it took my fort to fall.

When the first attack was warded off, it was with the help of several goblin ambushes, and we had all our axe lords still alive. Meanwhile in the fort a few more when crazy and we came down to about 10 people, two kids, my militia, and four food producers to feed everyone by working around the clock to keep everyone alive.

Then a full out siege of zombies happened, with more than before. One of our dwarves got stuck out as I tried to lure some over the bridge... he killed A LOT of zombies and ran off before dying. I gave him strict orders to stay put under the noble rooms we had planned on the non-lava peak of the mountain. We had earlier dug out a water resvior area for the waterfall there, and by accident you could get in diagonally. I knew of it, and thought it would be safe. Eventually I think he made a dash for the brook while I was working on tunneling to him to save him.

He got an honorary nickname.

At the second siege of zombies we had lost another axe lord to some accident, i forget what though, but we had then two axe lords left. we eventually during the wait lost another kid and two more food guys, but I didn't care, less mouths to feed and only really one food guy was doing most of the work.

The end was tough, I named the two after their deeds "Savior" and "Last" at the very end. Savior died couragously and by saving the fort in some daring way that I forget, and killed 30 zombies according to his record, with the 4 goblins in his time as well.

At the very end, just a woodcutter, a kid with a broken leg (an accident somehow), and "Last". Last killed a shit ton of zombies, but in the end when I let many zombies fully breech the base, the kid already was dead, and the woodcutter was just the last thing for Last.

Last stayed in the fort after a while, after he killed all those zombies... and ended the siege. In all, he killed 3 dwarfs in his time (mostly crazed ones),  a capybra, 1 legendary zombie, and 62 zombies of various species. I even gave him the job title: "Zombie Slayer".

But Last, as the Last dwarf of Mazework, wouldn't settle for his fate. After a half week to a week, he left... and flet into the Trampled Swamp, being the sole member now of The Lances of Slipping.

Oh, Last, where are you now? I never got my magma forges that were safely on the volcano top fired up, and so your militia was never armed... embark gear... yet you still were blessed. Or was your fate a curse?

Bronze cap, mail, chain legs, backpack, [boots and gauntlets maybe too?] waterskin and bronze battle axe... this was your gear, and with it, you survived. How dwarfy? That the Militia survived that long with sub-par gear...

I only ask this one question now: If I find him in the Trampled Swamp, can I recruit him? That would be epic.  :D

Also we reclaimed Mazework and all the frickin' ghosts knocked off someone's leg and scared a HORSE to death because I didn't get working on a nice tomb ASAP, I started making a new living area above the old one. I stole some beds from there and am going to just seal that place off to not deal with it, and attach to where the stair cases lead up to the old mountain peak and finish up the already dug out noble rooms and magma forges all ready to go. I don't want to spend an entire year cleaning up the mess from the fort that fell a few months ago.

Oh also I embarked with my 'battle group' set up, so no skills AT ALL other than military skills and I only took two picks in case I had to dig. Took food and drink too. I was expecting to need to kill something because apparently when I visited it in adventure mode the ghosts can kill you. I didn't know if it was an update and my new dwarves would be seen as "outsiders".

So many face palms with this fort, but much epicness. After I deal with all these ghosts I shall get to work on finishing the epic vision I had for the mountain. Hopefully this one won't spiral out of control and all common sense of people running around after two years again.

Man I love changing the pop cap to really low, migrant waves give me mre people JUST when I make enough living space, move the rocks, smooth it out, make furniture, then place it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on June 25, 2012, 12:57:47 pm
Quote from: jasonwill2 on June 25, 2012, 10:59:53 am

So many face palms with this fort, but much epicness. After I deal with all these ghosts I shall get to work on finishing the epic vision I had for the mountain. Hopefully this one won't will spiral out of control and all common sense of people running around after two years again.


FTFY
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jasonwill2 on June 25, 2012, 07:47:10 pm
Quote from: Hanslanda on June 25, 2012, 12:57:47 pm
Quote from: jasonwill2 on June 25, 2012, 10:59:53 am

So many face palms with this fort, but much epicness. After I deal with all these ghosts I shall get to work on finishing the epic vision I had for the mountain. Hopefully this one won't will spiral out of control and all common sense of people running around after two years again.


FTFY

But the question is, did you like my epic tale?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on June 26, 2012, 01:01:29 am
Less of a face palm more of a win.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on June 26, 2012, 01:19:00 am
Quote from: jasonwill2 on June 25, 2012, 07:47:10 pm
Quote from: Hanslanda on June 25, 2012, 12:57:47 pm
Quote from: jasonwill2 on June 25, 2012, 10:59:53 am

So many face palms with this fort, but much epicness. After I deal with all these ghosts I shall get to work on finishing the epic vision I had for the mountain. Hopefully this one won't will spiral out of control and all common sense of people running around after two years again.


FTFY

But the question is, did you like my epic tale?
Yes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snaake on June 26, 2012, 11:53:25 am
Quote from: jasonwill2 on June 25, 2012, 10:59:53 am
...Man I love changing the pop cap to really low, migrant waves give me mre people JUST when I make enough living space, move the rocks, smooth it out, make furniture, then place it.

You can smooth&engrave after placing furniture, if the furniture doesn't block movement (beds, cabinets and chests don't).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wyrmnax on June 26, 2012, 12:22:43 pm
68 migrants

55 of those are children.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Boltgun on June 26, 2012, 12:49:18 pm
I constructed walls around my fort entrance and carved fortification, everything's ok so far.

Next siege half my fort run OVER the fortifications standing on a one tile wide wall, in front of a squad of bowgoblins.  >:(

I forgot to remove one ramp used in the construction of the wall, they had no reason to be there. I wrote it as suicide.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on June 26, 2012, 12:51:12 pm
Quote from: Wyrmnax on June 26, 2012, 12:22:43 pm
68 migrants

55 of those are children.
So... many... times!

Also, my dwarves are refusing to build a wall because they are blocking their own build site. That's right, they stand on the square then complain that they're in their own way.

(http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll9zynCEGR1qen5g9.gif)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snaake on June 26, 2012, 01:22:25 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on June 26, 2012, 12:51:12 pm
Quote from: Wyrmnax on June 26, 2012, 12:22:43 pm
68 migrants

55 of those are children.
So... many... times!

Also, my dwarves are refusing to build a wall because they are blocking their own build site. That's right, they stand on the square then complain that they're in their own way.
...

That's a known bug for 34.11, I get it myself too. Canceling the problem tiles' constructions and redesignating them should help.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on June 26, 2012, 01:24:32 pm
Yeah, I get the "urist McGenius cancels build: creature standing in job site" when he's standing on the wall tile he should be building...if we can't get a bug fix, could we at least get a funny mod to the notification like "smelly drunken beard standing in job site"??
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on June 26, 2012, 03:42:14 pm
 That's the worst part: canceling and redesignating the constructions doesn't fix it for me. If that poll would update, this would be by far the worst bug, as it is extremely crippling.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on June 26, 2012, 03:45:55 pm
Figuring out i could remove walls....

just now i saw it.

I'm so stupid  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snaake on June 26, 2012, 04:00:05 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on June 26, 2012, 03:42:14 pm
That's the worst part: canceling and redesignating the constructions doesn't fix it for me. If that poll would update, this would be by far the worst bug, as it is extremely crippling.

I've had that too, once or twice. In the end, I removed a couple of the neighbouring walls, built the problem spot, then built the ones I'd removed. Did take a while.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wormwoods on June 27, 2012, 12:14:42 am
Well, in the succession game i just finished my turn on, i managed to forget how bridges worked, and promptly let a forgotten beast made of Ice and RAGE rampage through the Fortress. 22 poor Dorfs now rest in the crypt. It's year two. Good start.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xob Ludosmbax on June 27, 2012, 01:58:00 am
In my current fortress, I have a 20x20 obsidian farm.  8 bridges controlled by 1 lever similar to the vertical cross section below.  When the bridges are open, they block off the supply.  It was a little tricky to create the farm without poking any extra holes. 

Magma Supply____7/7 Magma____+
+
Open Air
+
Water Supply____7/7 Water____+
+
Open Air
+
+
Casting Area
[door]

I had forgotten that 7/7 liquids don't all fall at once.  So, some of the magma and water ends up mixing mid-air, and then caves in.  I ended up with pockets of 7x7 water mixed in the obsidian, and some obsidian on the level above the casting area that seems to be unsupported yet didn't cave in. 

(http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2490/4118002405_39e27afb1e_m.jpg) (http://www.flickr.com/photos/starfeeder/4118002405/)

So, there was 7/7 water on 2 of the tiles behind the door.  I figured the only way to clear that water would be to get a miner on top of the obsidian to dig some tiles out and get the water to evaporate.  I know I'm not going to get a second chance, because once the 1 obsidian tile is mined out and fills with water, the dwarfs won't go in. 

Anyway, I herd all of my miners into the entryway so that they can all rush in at once to increase my odds of getting someone on top, so that I don't need to poke any extra holes in my nice clean farm.  I designate the tile next to the door to be dug, and a bunch of tiles on the floor above to be dug.  They all rush in, all of my miners makes it on top.  It seems like my plan is coming together.  The moment they start digging, everything caves in.  Not a single miner made it out alive. 

(http://farm2.staticflickr.com/1266/4706853733_6b06f9bff7_m.jpg) (http://www.flickr.com/photos/47063070@N06/4706853733/)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on June 27, 2012, 02:03:09 am
This always comes to mind (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyFyAqLtHq8) whenever something really bad happens in my fort. Just reimagine any tragic scene from your fort, even if it involved stupidity, with that in the background.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weenog on June 27, 2012, 02:31:05 am
Quote from: HugoLuman on June 27, 2012, 02:03:09 am
This always comes to mind (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyFyAqLtHq8) whenever something really bad happens in my fort. Just reimagine any tragic scene from your fort, even if it involved stupidity, with that in the background.

Good choice, but for me it's The Humpty Dance.  Then again, it's always time for The Humpty Dance.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on June 27, 2012, 11:22:08 am
Quote from: weenog on June 27, 2012, 02:31:05 am
Quote from: HugoLuman on June 27, 2012, 02:03:09 am
This always comes to mind (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyFyAqLtHq8) whenever something really bad happens in my fort. Just reimagine any tragic scene from your fort, even if it involved stupidity, with that in the background.

Good choice, but for me it's The Humpty Dance.  Then again, it's always time for The Humpty Dance.

My choice: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5poSw7tFLB4 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5poSw7tFLB4)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cholek on June 27, 2012, 12:52:46 pm
When I realised that Atom Smasher wont stop HFS. ;(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on June 27, 2012, 01:58:29 pm
Quote from: Cholek on June 27, 2012, 12:52:46 pm
When I realised that Atom Smasher wont stop HFS. ;(

Talk about a painful "NOOOOOoooooooooo.......ugh!" end to a fort
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on June 27, 2012, 01:59:12 pm
When I realized that atom smasher garbage disposal need to be in a enclosed area.
Although, that woodcutter did provide important information about flying super-fast garbage.
Though the fact that there were several gobbo weapons in there didn't help him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: terko on June 27, 2012, 02:10:52 pm
Quote from: misko27 on June 27, 2012, 01:59:12 pm
Though the fact that there were several gobbo weapons in there didn't help him.

All that beautiful goblinite!

And regarding Atom Smashers and HFS, they stop the circus, if they're raised and never lowered again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wyrmnax on June 27, 2012, 02:11:34 pm
Made a minecart wooden run.

Pile of wood outside. Minecart track all the way inside, drops wood into a single tile wood deposit, right by my carpenter. minecart goes through a bridge that is opened/lowered by minecart pressure.

1) The track inside is shorter than the main route inside the fortress. So while i am building the track, dwarfs think it wise to path through there to get inside. Result - finished building the bridge while there were 3 dwarfs on the channel below it.

2) First minecart test run - pressure plate too close to the bridge. Dwarf pushes minecart full of wood. Goblin siege appears. Minecart passes through the pressure plate. Minecart smashes into the closed bridge. Bridge opens. Goblins find a very nice easy path inside the fortress.

3) Defended from goblin invasion. Recover fortress to a semi-functional state after a year of tantrums. Move pressure plate further away from the bridge. Fill minecart with wood. Urist McWoodsman pushes it. Kea catches minecart midway through the track and flies off with it.

4) Dwarven caravan leaving depot. New minecart. Fill with wood. Urist McWoodsman pushes it...

5) Minecart operation working now. However, looks like my wood pile outside never gets smaller, always have plenty of dwarfs bringing in more wood. Realize i have not ordered more trees to be chopped. Check wood stockpile inside. Realize i have not made a wood stockpile inside, only the outside one, so my dwarves have been picking up the wood that the minecart bring inside and carrying it outside for it to be loaded on the minecart again.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weenog on June 27, 2012, 06:26:39 pm
Quote from: Wyrmnax on June 27, 2012, 02:11:34 pm
Fill minecart with wood. Urist McWoodsman pushes it. Kea catches minecart midway through the track and flies off with it.

This part sounds less facepalm and more bemused stare and headscratch.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sofaspud on June 28, 2012, 10:52:16 am
Facepalm last night:

I'm using the double-slit method to pierce a 2-layer aquifer.  I'm down to the final bits, walling off the bottom layer.  Urist McDumbass, my miner, punches a hole in the single wall tile and then decides right there, with water spraying all around him and a pump hammering away overhead, is the perfect place to take a nap.

Still, though, the pump will keep him from drowning, right?

Well, sure... so long as the pump operator doesn't decide to take a nap at the same time.

Stupid dwarves.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aviator CJ on June 28, 2012, 11:30:15 am
Quote from: Sofaspud on June 28, 2012, 10:52:16 am
Facepalm last night:

I'm using the double-slit method to pierce a 2-layer aquifer.  I'm down to the final bits, walling off the bottom layer.  Urist McDumbass, my miner, punches a hole in the single wall tile and then decides right there, with water spraying all around him and a pump hammering away overhead, is the perfect place to take a nap.

Still, though, the pump will keep him from drowning, right?

Well, sure... so long as the pump operator doesn't decide to take a nap at the same time.

Stupid dwarves.


And their last thought was "it is noisy"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on June 28, 2012, 11:58:57 am
Urist McDumbass slept uneasily forever due to noise and drowning
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheDarkStar on June 28, 2012, 01:51:55 pm
I downloaded DF and some other files that SDL doesn't have by default. First thing I noticed was that it couldn't find files in the right subfolders, and then that there were no subfolders, and that everything had been extracted to the same folder. I spent half an hour painstakingly creating folders and moving files (I was checking vs the unzipped files) before I realized that I had the option off for "extract files with full path" when extracting.  :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on June 28, 2012, 11:05:07 pm
Started a new fortress. Saw a wierd symbol, an E with a ' on top of it. I'm like, wtf is that? 'k', hold it over...

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=105981.50 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=105981.50)

Oh god, the bees... I forgot I still had the raws for the Ultrabee within my folders. Now I simply MUST find a way to use them to kill invaders.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jasonwill2 on June 28, 2012, 11:51:30 pm
on my epic volcano fort i gave a huge story to earlier, i was reclaiming it decided for my waterfall down the side i should use DFhack to put a riversource instead of figuring out pumps.

forgot when messing with water earlier the range was set to 20 wide, 15 tall, and 3 z levels... I couldn't undo.

I used the "die" command.

In other news, auto dump and fast dwarf are great for cleaning up a fort within a year without a bunch of ghosts murdering your guys too fast.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cholek on June 29, 2012, 06:34:56 am
Cat in ballista training room. -,-
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I forgot to make doors tightly closed.

Edit:
Not again!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weenog on June 29, 2012, 06:59:25 am
Quote from: Cholek on June 29, 2012, 06:34:56 am
Cat in ballista training room. -,-
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I forgot to make doors tightly closed.

Wait, those things don't require specific attack targeting, they just hit anything that's in the area they pass through, don't they?

Reliable damage control for a catsplosion in progress might put the ballista on the Useful list even if they are trash for sieges.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eoganachta on June 29, 2012, 07:01:18 am
Quote from: weenog on June 27, 2012, 06:26:39 pm
Quote from: Wyrmnax on June 27, 2012, 02:11:34 pm
Fill minecart with wood. Urist McWoodsman pushes it. Kea catches minecart midway through the track and flies off with it.

This part sounds less facepalm and more bemused stare and headscratch.

(http://i1188.photobucket.com/albums/z410/eoganachta/skeletonkea.png)

*Shakes fist at Da Vinci machine bird*
And you thought you had problems  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sofaspud on June 29, 2012, 02:05:45 pm
When migrants arrive right when you need more bodies around, it's a good thing.

When they don't show up at your fort by the time a season has passed, when you finally realize, hey, where'd all my new dwarfs go, that's a bad thing.

When you realize it's because you forgot to bridge the river, and there's a group of starving, alcohol-less, bearded tantrums just waiting on the other side, that's facepalm-worthy.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: reality.auditor on June 29, 2012, 05:56:34 pm
Quote from: Wyrmnax on June 27, 2012, 02:11:34 pm
Fill minecart with wood. Urist McWoodsman pushes it. Kea catches minecart midway through the track and flies off with it.
Absurdity of this game amuses me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: a_mist_wolf on June 30, 2012, 01:20:05 am
One right now:

I was digging out an area just above the magma sea for some forges and smelters. One z level above that and off to the side, I had them excavate an area for stockpiles. Once the lower level was dug,  I created a one square garbage dump in the stockpile area and mass designated all the loose stone below for dumping. Then I went back to the surface to supervise something else.

Erush Avuzedim, Thresher, has been killed by a flying object!
Sigun Itebdurad, Architect, cancels Dump Item: Unconscious

I had placed the garbage dump at the top of the ramp up, and the dwarves were carrying boulders to the top of the ramp, then turning around and hurling them into the teeth of the next fellow coming up.

*facepalm*

Final tally for about ten seconds of this activity: 2 broken arms, a bruised liver, a broken leg, and a crushed skull.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on June 30, 2012, 08:46:43 pm
Quote from: a_mist_wolf on June 30, 2012, 01:20:05 am


Final tally for about ten seconds of this activity: 2 broken arms, a bruised liver, a broken leg, and a crushed skull.

so..only one truly dangerous injury, then?  hope that liver heals!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on June 30, 2012, 09:10:30 pm
Quote from: floundericiousWA on June 30, 2012, 08:46:43 pm
Quote from: a_mist_wolf on June 30, 2012, 01:20:05 am


Final tally for about ten seconds of this activity: 2 broken arms, a bruised liver, a broken leg, and a crushed skull.

so..only one truly dangerous injury, then?  hope that liver heals!
Its a dwarven liver. Of COURSE it will heal.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: win32anon on July 01, 2012, 02:18:03 am
"Let's rush my magma-pump no matter the costs!"

"Pff...I don't mind my dwarfs being unhappy, once I get magma I'll make them silver-gold rooms"

"Oh they are tantruming..."

"Oh they are tantrum-berserking"

"Oh they are destroying the door to the floodroom"

Flooding my fortress and killing everyone drowded or starved/thirst.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: necromancerbob on July 01, 2012, 08:17:06 am
Ohh a lepoard, go catch wild animals dwarfs....

20 seconds later

Leopard gone but i now have a captured toad. What the urst can I do with that? Bait animal??

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: leafbarrett on July 01, 2012, 10:06:42 am
Telling a dwarf to go mine out a small peak of a mountain to make things look more even. (This is before I learned that doing that left a floor above, and channeling was the way to get rid of a thing like that.)

A section of the cavern has collapsed!

It was my first ever death, too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GreatWyrmGold on July 01, 2012, 10:18:01 am
Heh, I did that once. Bet your miner didn't end up in the magma sea, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on July 01, 2012, 11:51:53 am
....last night...looking forward to resuming my fort, clicking "continue playing" and selecting "nalmafol in Tethathadar, 138"...and DF crashes and burns with a "one of the compressed files is corrupted, please restore from a backup, if possible"

 :'(

So I had to pull the same fort from the old 34.10 folder and fire it up...sigh...FIVE IN GAME YEARS gone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on July 01, 2012, 02:22:26 pm
Recently lost my 18-year 31.25 fort that produced 9 artifact thongs to harddrive failure. Should have backed it up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gamerboy4life on July 01, 2012, 05:48:00 pm
Just got done playing for a couple hours.

Goes to menu.

Abandon Fortress.

Me: "Oh, yes, that's the save option!"

Confirm.


Fuck.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on July 01, 2012, 07:32:22 pm
Quote from: Gamerboy4life on July 01, 2012, 05:48:00 pm
Just got done playing for a couple hours.

Goes to menu.

Abandon Fortress.

Me: "Oh, yes, that's the save option!"

Confirm.


Fuck.
Should you ever do this just push the off button (not the "hold down because its broken" but the "tap so it turns off normally."), it will stop abandonment and the old save will still be there. At least last time I accidentally abandoned it worked.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on July 01, 2012, 07:52:03 pm
Quote from: floundericiousWA on July 01, 2012, 11:51:53 am
....last night...looking forward to resuming my fort, clicking "continue playing" and selecting "nalmafol in Tethathadar, 138"...and DF crashes and burns with a "one of the compressed files is corrupted, please restore from a backup, if possible"

 :'(

So I had to pull the same fort from the old 34.10 folder and fire it up...sigh...FIVE IN GAME YEARS gone.
Similar thing, different cause. I was doing some science on loyalty cascade (very interesting results, actually. It may, with some work, and not too many migrants, be able to create a seperatist fort, one that you control but that doesnt support the mainland and attacks traders), my fort was brought down by lack of intervention, but i forgot to save-scum. 4 GOD-DAMNED YEARS GONE. DAMN IT.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: themagicdwarf on July 01, 2012, 09:16:34 pm
Bestra the Dragon invades. Bestra is captured in the cage trap. Cage is stored in the stockpile. ALL animals are selected to be taken to the Pasture.

Bestra is let from his cage and INCINERATES 40 of 65 dorfs INSTANTLY in the great hall.

Not even enough dorfs left for a proper tantrum spiral! The militia commander head shots Bestra with a crossbow then goes into melancholy when his revenge is complete and Bestra falls. Abandon Fortress... HOORAY! F'PALM

epilogue; some migrants have just arrived, despite the danger! DERP
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weenog on July 02, 2012, 02:46:24 am
Quote from: themagicdwarf on July 01, 2012, 09:16:34 pm
Bestra the Dragon invades. Bestra is captured in the cage trap. Cage is stored in the stockpile. ALL animals are selected to be taken to the Pasture.

Bestra is let from his cage and INCINERATES 40 of 65 dorfs INSTANTLY in the great hall.

I can just see this cage with a big "AIM AWAY FROM FACE" sign which is, of course, attached upside-down.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Snow on July 02, 2012, 09:42:12 am
My hospital is slowly being flooded by it's newly constructed well.

Breached caverns, build walls and a door around the entrance.
3 troglodytes came and beat up a couple of my dwarves. 2 dead, 4 wounded... maybe i'll remember to lock the door to the caverns next time x.X
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snaake on July 02, 2012, 11:52:09 am
Quote from: Lord Snow on July 02, 2012, 09:42:12 am
My hospital is slowly being flooded by it's newly constructed well.

Breached caverns, build walls and a door around the entrance.
3 troglodytes came and beat up a couple of my dwarves. 2 dead, 4 wounded... maybe i'll remember to lock the door to the caverns next time x.X

The first cave croc/forgotten beast/whathaveyou will just batter down the door and do worse.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: towerdude on July 02, 2012, 05:25:40 pm
I thought I would make a floating fortress over the ocean, so I embarked on a very little land, with huge amount of stones. I started to make bricks, and devised a method that was sound with IRL physics.

it looked like this:

ground level

, ,~~
, ,~~
, ,/\O
, ,~~
, ,~~

first level
. .                                                                                                                                                                              XXX
. .                                                                                                                                                                            XOOOX
. .\/++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++XOOOX
. .                                                                                                                                                                            XOOOX
. .                                                                                                                                                                              XXX

The 3x3 tower was 8 z-levels tall, and the ocean below was 5 z-levels deep. I thought if I deconsruct the closest floor to the land, the tower would fall into the sea and provide a safe passage to the ocean floor.

However it only vaporized in mid air, and all the precious stone have fallen to the ocean floor as raw material.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: IIzTrollin on July 02, 2012, 05:31:03 pm
adventure mode, complete first quest killing a guy. went back to town turned it in was heading to the capitol when i was attacked by alligators... they ripped my party to shreds literally. i cried my self to sleep that night >.<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Logen910 on July 02, 2012, 06:31:13 pm
had an epic dwarf soldier killing whole populations chuck norris style. died because the world suddenly exploded. first i thought it was because of his awesomeness and that the world simply couldn't stand it anymore but later i red in the forums it was caused by a bug. somehow the floor collapsed. at least it was an epic dead. i am sure he is killing demons in hell now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aletea on July 02, 2012, 08:37:32 pm
I had a kitten dust thrall manage to get into my fortress, and promptly I set a squad of soldiers on it - they made for the kitten, but only a couple of soldiers actually made it over to it. The kitten was a square away from the top of my stairs, and had managed to be surrounded. Somehow, I wound up with that hallway completely filled with non-combatants, everyone was bashing at the kitten with their feet and fists.

Due to the kittens proximity to the stairs, none of my civilians on other levels would use the stairs at all - meaning everyone was trapped on whatever level they had been on before the kitten arrived. And since the only way to kill a dust thrall is through beheading, it was essentially immortal since none of my dwarves with bladed weapons could reach it.

Thus, a single kitten managed to completely stall my entire fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: IIzTrollin on July 03, 2012, 04:58:44 pm
not loading out with quivers for hunting O_o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dustylou2 on July 03, 2012, 06:34:46 pm
In my latest 34.11 fort, I decided to set up a Dwarven Atom Smasher to get rid of a ton of excess stone (having 150 undead outside because of a Necromancer doesn't do good things to your FPS, especially on an older computer). However, I couldn't build a bridge over my quantum stockpile because the items were in the way, so I came up with a 'cunning' plan: build the bridge below, then channel a hole in the square with the thousands of stones. Somehow, that part worked without killing anyone (it was right next to the main junction of the bedrooms). The Fun happened when I activated the lever: all of the stones got flung back up the hole, crippling three dwarves, and one of my legendary miners got turned into a smear on the ceiling. Oops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weenog on July 03, 2012, 07:37:50 pm
Quote from: Dustylou2 on July 03, 2012, 06:34:46 pm
In my latest 34.11 fort, I decided to set up a Dwarven Atom Smasher to get rid of a ton of excess stone (having 150 undead outside because of a Necromancer doesn't do good things to your FPS, especially on an older computer). However, I couldn't build a bridge over my quantum stockpile because the items were in the way, so I came up with a 'cunning' plan: build the bridge below, then channel a hole in the square with the thousands of stones. Somehow, that part worked without killing anyone (it was right next to the main junction of the bedrooms). The Fun happened when I activated the lever: all of the stones got flung back up the hole, crippling three dwarves, and one of my legendary miners got turned into a smear on the ceiling. Oops.

With some refinement, that sounds like an automated catapult shotgun trap waiting to happen.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 04, 2012, 09:28:59 am
Quote from: weenog on July 03, 2012, 07:37:50 pm
Quote from: Dustylou2 on July 03, 2012, 06:34:46 pm
In my latest 34.11 fort, I decided to set up a Dwarven Atom Smasher to get rid of a ton of excess stone (having 150 undead outside because of a Necromancer doesn't do good things to your FPS, especially on an older computer). However, I couldn't build a bridge over my quantum stockpile because the items were in the way, so I came up with a 'cunning' plan: build the bridge below, then channel a hole in the square with the thousands of stones. Somehow, that part worked without killing anyone (it was right next to the main junction of the bedrooms). The Fun happened when I activated the lever: all of the stones got flung back up the hole, crippling three dwarves, and one of my legendary miners got turned into a smear on the ceiling. Oops.

With some refinement, that sounds like an automated catapult shotgun trap waiting to happen.

Aaand there's the weaponization. Shouldn't we just start naming every thread, "How do I weaponize..." at this point? Because eventually all derails lead to the Weaponization Station.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jasonwill2 on July 04, 2012, 03:20:25 pm
Quote from: Hanslanda on July 04, 2012, 09:28:59 am
Quote from: weenog on July 03, 2012, 07:37:50 pm
Quote from: Dustylou2 on July 03, 2012, 06:34:46 pm
In my latest 34.11 fort, I decided to set up a Dwarven Atom Smasher to get rid of a ton of excess stone (having 150 undead outside because of a Necromancer doesn't do good things to your FPS, especially on an older computer). However, I couldn't build a bridge over my quantum stockpile because the items were in the way, so I came up with a 'cunning' plan: build the bridge below, then channel a hole in the square with the thousands of stones. Somehow, that part worked without killing anyone (it was right next to the main junction of the bedrooms). The Fun happened when I activated the lever: all of the stones got flung back up the hole, crippling three dwarves, and one of my legendary miners got turned into a smear on the ceiling. Oops.



With some refinement, that sounds like an automated catapult shotgun trap waiting to happen.

Aaand there's the weaponization. Shouldn't we just start naming every thread, "How do I weaponize..." at this point? Because eventually all derails lead to the Weaponization Station.

I suppose this is inevitable.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on July 04, 2012, 03:31:14 pm
Well, if we could think of a mechanism to induce facepalm in others, and increase the velocity, we could make them smash their own foreheads in with their hands.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on July 04, 2012, 03:49:38 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on July 04, 2012, 03:31:14 pm
Well, if we could think of a mechanism to induce facepalm in others, and increase the velocity, we could make them smash their own foreheads in with their hands.
If I could do this to my teachers, I'd be a mass-murderer. I think thats what the nobles are trying to do, weaponize our sheer iritation at them. Or maybe the elves. Or the dwarves, or the, hey wait a moment, everyones weaponizing this but us!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on July 04, 2012, 04:07:02 pm
Quote from: misko27 on July 04, 2012, 03:49:38 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on July 04, 2012, 03:31:14 pm
Well, if we could think of a mechanism to induce facepalm in others, and increase the velocity, we could make them smash their own foreheads in with their hands.
If I could do this to my teachers, I'd be a mass-murderer. I think thats what the nobles are trying to do, weaponize our sheer iritation at them. Or maybe the elves. Or the dwarves, or the, hey wait a moment, everyones weaponizing this but us!
Facepalms themselves must be weaponized!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on July 04, 2012, 04:12:37 pm
Tactical facepalm. The best kind of facepalm there is.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on July 04, 2012, 04:23:17 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on July 04, 2012, 04:07:02 pm

Facepalms themselves must be weaponized!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Tactical facepalm: when the fail is so hard you have to call in the army.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on July 04, 2012, 04:28:37 pm
Funny, because the army is usually the main cause of fails in this game, next to trap avoid critters and lucky thieves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on July 04, 2012, 04:32:38 pm
Quote from: Splint on July 04, 2012, 04:12:37 pm
Tactical facepalm. The best kind of facepalm there is.
The student makes a stupid comment, but the comment is deflected by the teachers studied indifference!
The teacher stabs you in the upper body with her snide comment, fracturing your pride through your thick skin!
The student bores the teacher with his boring prepared monologue, smashing the teacher hope through her low expectations !
The teacher has become enraged!
The teacher facepalms, jamming the skull through the brain!
The teacher has been knocked unconsious!
The Teacher has been struck down.
Now if only we could distill and purify annoyance...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gamerboy4life on July 04, 2012, 04:53:26 pm
Quote from: Hanslanda on July 04, 2012, 09:28:59 am
Quote from: weenog on July 03, 2012, 07:37:50 pm
Quote from: Dustylou2 on July 03, 2012, 06:34:46 pm
In my latest 34.11 fort, I decided to set up a Dwarven Atom Smasher to get rid of a ton of excess stone (having 150 undead outside because of a Necromancer doesn't do good things to your FPS, especially on an older computer). However, I couldn't build a bridge over my quantum stockpile because the items were in the way, so I came up with a 'cunning' plan: build the bridge below, then channel a hole in the square with the thousands of stones. Somehow, that part worked without killing anyone (it was right next to the main junction of the bedrooms). The Fun happened when I activated the lever: all of the stones got flung back up the hole, crippling three dwarves, and one of my legendary miners got turned into a smear on the ceiling. Oops.

With some refinement, that sounds like an automated catapult shotgun trap waiting to happen.

Aaand there's the weaponization. Shouldn't we just start naming every thread, "How do I weaponize..." at this point? Because eventually all derails lead to the Weaponization Station.

Either weaponization or the discussion on how to turn children into vampire warriors.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slayerhero90 on July 04, 2012, 05:14:16 pm
Embark.

Get gangraped by two saltwater crocodiles.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on July 04, 2012, 05:18:38 pm
Built a bridge across the rim of a volcano, told my masons to build a wall along the side of the bridge.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on July 04, 2012, 05:18:59 pm
Quote from: Slayerhero90 on July 04, 2012, 05:14:16 pm
Embark.

Get gangraped by two saltwater crocodiles.

I am glad I'm not the only one to suffer this. Though for me it was alligators.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slayerhero90 on July 04, 2012, 05:24:38 pm
Quote from: Splint on July 04, 2012, 05:18:59 pm
Quote from: Slayerhero90 on July 04, 2012, 05:14:16 pm
Embark.

Get gangraped by two saltwater crocodiles.

I am glad I'm not the only one to suffer this. Though for me it was alligators.

The thought that wen't through my mind when this happened was "I GAVE YOU FOUR ARMS AND THREE EYES FOR A REASON! HOLD THEIR MOUTHS SHUT SO YOU GAN GOUGE OUT THEIR EYES AND RIP THEIR THROATS OUT! DO I NEED TO GIVE YOU WINGS?!?!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jasonwill2 on July 04, 2012, 07:58:54 pm
Quote from: misko27 on July 04, 2012, 04:32:38 pm
Quote from: Splint on July 04, 2012, 04:12:37 pm
Tactical facepalm. The best kind of facepalm there is.
The student makes a stupid comment, but the comment is deflected by the teachers low expectations!
The teacher stabs you in the upper body with her snide comment, fracturing your pride through your thick skin!
The student bores the teacher with his boring prepared monologue, smashing the teacher hope through her studied indifference!
The teacher has become enraged!
The teacher facepalms, jamming the skull through the brain!

Yes! The army must do this to defeat EVERYONE!
The teacher has been knocked unconsious!
The Teacher has been struck down.
Now if only we could distill and purify annoyance...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slayerhero90 on July 04, 2012, 08:00:14 pm
Quote from: jasonwill2 on July 04, 2012, 07:58:54 pm
Quote from: misko27 on July 04, 2012, 04:32:38 pm
Quote from: Splint on July 04, 2012, 04:12:37 pm
Tactical facepalm. The best kind of facepalm there is.
The student makes a stupid comment, but the comment is deflected by the teachers low expectations!
The teacher stabs you in the upper body with her snide comment, fracturing your pride through your thick skin!
The student bores the teacher with his boring prepared monologue, smashing the teacher hope through her studied indifference!
The teacher has become enraged!
The teacher facepalms, jamming the skull through the brain!

Yes! The army must do this to defeat EVERYONE!
The teacher has been knocked unconsious!
The Teacher has been struck down.
Now if only we could distill and purify annoyance...

Stop quoting things for no reason.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 04, 2012, 11:50:55 pm
Quote from: Slayerhero90 on July 04, 2012, 08:00:14 pm
Quote from: jasonwill2 on July 04, 2012, 07:58:54 pm
Quote from: misko27 on July 04, 2012, 04:32:38 pm
Quote from: Splint on July 04, 2012, 04:12:37 pm
Tactical facepalm. The best kind of facepalm there is.
The student makes a stupid comment, but the comment is deflected by the teachers low expectations!
The teacher stabs you in the upper body with her snide comment, fracturing your pride through your thick skin!
The student bores the teacher with his boring prepared monologue, smashing the teacher hope through her studied indifference!
The teacher has become enraged!
The teacher facepalms, jamming the skull through the brain!

Yes! The army must do this to defeat EVERYONE!
The teacher has been knocked unconsious!
The Teacher has been struck down.
Now if only we could distill and purify annoyance...

Stop quoting things for no reason.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aviator CJ on July 05, 2012, 03:35:10 am
Quote from: Hanslanda on July 04, 2012, 09:28:59 am
Because eventually all derails lead to the Weaponization Station.

The Bay12 equivalent to Godwin's Law: As the thread goes on, the probability of weaponisation of the thread topic approaches one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on July 05, 2012, 08:38:49 am
Quote from: Aviator CJ on July 05, 2012, 03:35:10 am
Quote from: Hanslanda on July 04, 2012, 09:28:59 am
Because eventually all derails lead to the Weaponization Station.

The Bay12 equivalent to Godwin's Law: As the thread goes on, the probability of weaponisation of the thread topic approaches one.
The Only threads without weaponization are ones that already are a discussion of weaponization, and even THAT is not safe, for example see childcare thread, now flaming thrall weaponization.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 05, 2012, 11:07:31 am
Quote from: misko27 on July 05, 2012, 08:38:49 am
Quote from: Aviator CJ on July 05, 2012, 03:35:10 am
Quote from: Hanslanda on July 04, 2012, 09:28:59 am
Because eventually all derails lead to the Weaponization Station.

The Bay12 equivalent to Godwin's Law: As the thread goes on, the probability of weaponisation of the thread topic approaches one.
The Only threads without weaponization are ones that already are a discussion of weaponization, and even THAT is not safe, for example see childcare thread, now flaming thrall weaponization.

See above how I weaponized the quote pyramid?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Charlylimph on July 05, 2012, 11:27:36 am
The moment I realized how to use the manager and did not have to remember to turn of repeated orders after a random period of time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Phillammon on July 05, 2012, 12:05:39 pm
Quote from: Charlylimph on July 05, 2012, 11:27:36 am
The moment I realized how to use the manager and did not have to remember to turn of repeated orders after a random period of time.
For me, it was realizing you could set order directly at the workstation instead of using the manager...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dorfus on July 05, 2012, 04:33:55 pm
Been playing for about 4 years now. Just tried the manager today. My life is so much simpler.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on July 05, 2012, 04:37:24 pm
Quote from: Dorfus on July 05, 2012, 04:33:55 pm
Been playing for about 4 years now. Just tried the manager today. My life is so much simpler.

Only been a few months for me.... But I felt the same way whe I needed army uniforms made...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: agvkrioni on July 05, 2012, 06:20:08 pm
Quote from: Splint on July 05, 2012, 04:37:24 pm
Only been a few months for me.... But I felt the same way whe I needed army uniforms made...
OMFG I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT. Just start using the manager but THAT WOULD ROCK hahahah yeah. Sweetness.

XDXD ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on July 05, 2012, 06:22:47 pm
Dig! Just order however many of each piece you need made and you're good. Remember to include socks. Otherwise they'll forget they're wearing boots...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Frontestro on July 05, 2012, 06:50:32 pm
Second Real fortress. (I am new to the game as of a few month, read a lot on the forums figure might as well join. Getting off topic...) Position my marks dwarfs I had been training for about 2 years on a completely safe bridge to shoot down on the incoming goblin seige. They see the goblins coming. They run, off the bridge, down the stairs, to engage the crossbow goblins, (who couldn't shoot back when they were on the bridge) in Melee... no one else could fight them and I went from 90 dwarves to 60 with 30 of them being children and one in a fey mood about to zerk.... yeah...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 05, 2012, 09:23:47 pm
Quote from: Frontestro on July 05, 2012, 06:50:32 pm
Second Real fortress. (I am new to the game as of a few month, read a lot on the forums figure might as well join. Getting off topic...) Position my marks dwarfs I had been training for about 2 years on a completely safe bridge to shoot down on the incoming goblin seige. They see the goblins coming. They run, off the bridge, down the stairs, to engage the crossbow goblins, (who couldn't shoot back when they were on the bridge) in Melee... no one else could fight them and I went from 90 dwarves to 60 with 30 of them being children and one in a fey mood about to zerk.... yeah...

You probably already know this, but dwarves are either suicidally overconfident or insipid cowards. Usually the opposite of what you want at the time. Also, faced with the choice between getting a single step closer to an enemy behind a wall, while managing to reach safety, and running the opposite way, getting chased down and brutally mutilated and murdered, they WILL choose dying tired.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sisok on July 05, 2012, 09:31:13 pm
when I realized there was an ecosystem inside. Before I didn't understand the point of grazing stock, I figured they were just tribute for the eventual seige. Now I'm creating vast clay meadows and power-levelling 10 miners at a time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GoombaGeek on July 05, 2012, 11:37:15 pm
Quote from: sisok on July 05, 2012, 09:31:13 pm
when I realized there was an ecosystem inside. Before I didn't understand the point of grazing stock, I figured they were just tribute for the eventual seige. Now I'm creating vast clay meadows and power-levelling 10 miners at a time.
Aren't they for eating?

Anyway, my facepalm moment was when I wanted a fairly deep pit dug. Let's do a side-view (X is undug).

Figure 1.
☺
XX
XX
XX
XX
XX
XXX

Figure 2.

XX
XX
XX☺
XX
XX
XXX

Figure 3.

XX
XX
XX
XX
XX☺ *snap*
XXX

I lost four miners this way before one managed to defeat this bloodthirsty chasm. (Have I already posted this in another thread? I'm posting it again.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sisok on July 06, 2012, 03:31:09 am
^The first time I tried to build a well over a cavern I did this. I decided to use Therapist to find the least skilled dwarf capable of 'doing the honors'. I didn't pay enough attention. She had a baby with her. Now I just make sure to make a ton of booze.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Frontestro on July 06, 2012, 08:41:09 am
Quote from: Hanslanda on July 05, 2012, 09:23:47 pm
Quote from: Frontestro on July 05, 2012, 06:50:32 pm
Second Real fortress. (I am new to the game as of a few month, read a lot on the forums figure might as well join. Getting off topic...) Position my marks dwarfs I had been training for about 2 years on a completely safe bridge to shoot down on the incoming goblin seige. They see the goblins coming. They run, off the bridge, down the stairs, to engage the crossbow goblins, (who couldn't shoot back when they were on the bridge) in Melee... no one else could fight them and I went from 90 dwarves to 60 with 30 of them being children and one in a fey mood about to zerk.... yeah...

You probably already know this, but dwarves are either suicidally overconfident or insipid cowards. Usually the opposite of what you want at the time. Also, faced with the choice between getting a single step closer to an enemy behind a wall, while managing to reach safety, and running the opposite way, getting chased down and brutally mutilated and murdered, they WILL choose dying tired.

Yeah... it just surprised me. Cause the same dwarfs when they weren't in the army and had their hunting labors turned on pincushioned plenty of goblins and kobold thieves and the moment I actually train them up, specifically tell them to stand on the damn bridge, and have it so that plenty of ammo is stockpiled with them so they don't need to move, they decide the shiny copper and iron sword will do more damage than the piles of *Silver Bolt*[25] lying right next to them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 06, 2012, 11:01:16 am
Dwarven logic:
Enemies ahead. I have a crossbow with tons of ammo. Do I shoot them, or socks? Socks? Socks.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: person012345 on July 06, 2012, 11:34:44 am
Quote from: Ieb on December 19, 2011, 01:39:07 am
A) it's hard to fight a FB when it's accompanied by a webspitter
I had a web spitting titan recently. I literally had to conscript the entire fort to pick up whatever weapon was lying around and zergrush the thing just to get at it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ptb_ptb on July 06, 2012, 12:11:15 pm
Those darn elves.

An elven trading caravan arrived with a bunch of crap. Well, and a little booze - I wanted that. Value 183 in total.

I had a crap load of goods because I'd reclaimed twice and a couple of large trading caravans had come a cropper in the earlier incarnations. So I basically wanted to clear space and offered 22,000 value of stuff.

I forgot to exclude everything with wood. >_<

So the elves went off in a huff leaving behind the biggest profit any trader could expect to make ever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: person012345 on July 06, 2012, 12:43:55 pm
Break into caverns
Set up mining operation for slate
Flying forgotten beast appears
Keep civilians out
Forget about beast
Send civilians in
Civilians get slaughtered horribly
Tantrum spiral

The worst thing was, as soon as my military arrived they dispatched it no problem. It tried to bite them, got deflected by their armour, they stabbed it in the lung and chopped off it's head. That was a pretty badass military. 2 spearmen and 2 axemen, took out about 3 forgotten beasts/titans without even breaking a sweat. To be fair, one of those was made of snow, so all that required was a single punch and it disintegrated into a puddle of water, but the other two were fairly menacing. But still, fortress ended in a nasty tantrum spiral. Ironically it was finished off by the berserking captain of the guard (those 4 dwarfs in the guard were my entire military at the time).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HavingPhun on July 06, 2012, 05:35:33 pm
I had just started a embark and it was wierd because when I first opened the embark map I was right on the kind of place I wanted to start in. But anyways I had a quantum garbage dump to clean up the stone to make room for stockpiles and rooms and i put stairs on it so if someone fell in they could walk out. Somehow my ranger ended up in there and people dropped stones on him. He died of dehydration, even though I had the fresh water marked for the morons.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Frontestro on July 06, 2012, 06:20:01 pm
Quote from: HavingPhun on July 06, 2012, 05:35:33 pm
I had just started a embark and it was wierd because when I first opened the embark map I was right on the kind of place I wanted to start in. But anyways I had a quantum garbage dump to clean up the stone to make room for stockpiles and rooms and i put stairs on it so if someone fell in they could walk out. Somehow my ranger ended up in there and people dropped stones on him. He died of dehydration, even though I had the fresh water marked for the morons.

Fresh water!? No wonder he died of thirst.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on July 06, 2012, 06:33:13 pm
Quote from: Frontestro on July 06, 2012, 06:20:01 pm

Fresh water!? No wonder he died of thirst.
the dwarves will always choose water over death. Despite popular belief, Dwarves dont wish to die, their just incredibly bad at not doing so. I've seen a determined dwarf desperately try to outrun a squad of gobbos. He didn't make it, but I sure enjoyed the show. There are legends of dwarves hiding from horrifying things, the end of headshoots proves that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snaake on July 06, 2012, 06:51:40 pm
Quote from: person012345 on July 06, 2012, 12:43:55 pm
Break into caverns
Set up mining operation for slate
...

Just out of curiousity: why were you mining for slate?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shininglight on July 06, 2012, 07:56:27 pm
Every time for the last 27 worlds i've generated. not once NOT ONCE have i gotten flux without an aquifer.... argh. Of course my attempts to work through the aquifers result in this as well. I've read all the wiki articles.... still can't get through an aquifer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Frontestro on July 06, 2012, 09:00:23 pm
Quote from: Shininglight on July 06, 2012, 07:56:27 pm
Every time for the last 27 worlds i've generated. not once NOT ONCE have i gotten flux without an aquifer.... argh. Of course my attempts to work through the aquifers result in this as well. I've read all the wiki articles.... still can't get through an aquifer.

Use the specific search to narrow it down. Clay never holds aquifers so if I don't want to contend with that I just put Clay:Yes Flux:Yes Shallow Metals. Etc. Unless You mean that even with the search you don't have any then that is just horrible luck....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BinaryBeast1010011010 on July 06, 2012, 11:48:48 pm
Since I discovered quantum menace two slits method I never embarked without an aquifer. It took me a few shots and I am not wiser than anyone here but ever since I have enjoyed
 an infinite supply of water  easy waterfalls everywhere, underground crops wherever I wanted them, and many more wondrous things!
And not to derail the thread, among those things : dead cats preventing the closure of the well floodgate and flooding the dining room. Curse them! Things went even worst when the dwarf adopted by said cat started tantruming.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joben on July 08, 2012, 05:07:43 am
A goblin siege catches me with my pants down. Long story short, ~200 casualties later I'm down to 42 dwarves huddled in a basement. Blood EVERYWHERE. And apprently only two enemies left on the map

One soldier left.

I order him to kill a goblin that's decided to hide in a corner. ...nothing happens.

Turns out he is inside one of my cage traps at the main entrance. what the i don't even...I check his thoughts.

Quote
Unib Sazirsakrith has been quite content lately. He has complained of thirst lately. He has been tired lately. He has lost a spouse to tragedy recently. He admired a fine Trap lately. He dined in a legendary dinging room recently. He recieved water recently. He slept in a very good bedroom recently. He gave someone water lately. He is depressed about being confined. He sustained major injuries recently.

Go figure and facepalm!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: crazysheep on July 08, 2012, 06:06:35 am
Quote from: Joben on July 08, 2012, 05:07:43 am
... He admired a fine Trap lately. ... He is depressed about being confined. [/size]
[/quote]
Unib: Ow why is my head spinning and why is there so much blood all over me? *twinges in pain* Wow this is a really lovely *Cage* I'm in.. why am I caged again? :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snateraar on July 08, 2012, 07:54:41 am
I put a mason on repeat making stone chairs. I went on playing and forgot about it. Suddenly I notice all my furniture stockpiles littered with chairs, even some made out of the precious marble(don't have any flux except that) and I found out he made about 172 stone chairs  :-X
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 08, 2012, 11:10:25 am
Hehehe, you've encountered the Mug Tipping point. A job on repeat is useful and productive until your (crafter) hits legendary, and then the production speed is ridiculous. With such a high production speed, even a short amount of time not paying attention results in hideous amounts of whatever selected object is being created. Weaponizable amounts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on July 08, 2012, 11:37:18 am
Dear god, the Spearbreakers manufacturing curse is spreading....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: krenshala on July 08, 2012, 01:43:39 pm
Decided to try the "bring ore and fuel instead of finished products" embark strategy to see how well I'd do with it.

Embarked in a decent spot, looked around, assigned a few missing labors, then unpaused so they could get to work.

Only to have an alligator leap out, maul a llama's head (still wounded a year later), try to rip of the left foot of one of the two Farmers, and killed one of my two female dogs before I was able to punch it to death with six dwarves (and two dogs chewing on it).  All on the 1st of Granite.

A normal embark, I would have had four weapons to use on it.  Instead, I have to resort to an unarmed mob to try and bring it down.  I've no idea how I managed to get away with so few injuries.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snaake on July 08, 2012, 04:15:17 pm
Quote from: krenshala on July 08, 2012, 01:43:39 pm
Decided to try the "bring ore and fuel instead of finished products" embark strategy to see how well I'd do with it.

Embarked in a decent spot, looked around, assigned a few missing labors, then unpaused so they could get to work.

Only to have an alligator leap out, maul a llama's head (still wounded a year later), try to rip of the left foot of one of the two Farmers, and killed one of my two female dogs before I was able to punch it to death with six dwarves (and two dogs chewing on it).  All on the 1st of Granite.

A normal embark, I would have had four weapons to use on it.  Instead, I have to resort to an unarmed mob to try and bring it down.  I've no idea how I managed to get away with so few injuries.

Sure, blame it on the lack of weapons. I remember a guy complaining that he had an alligator kill multiple embarks/reclaims worth of dwarves (and he bought 2-4 armed ones each time, I think).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on July 08, 2012, 06:39:24 pm
Quote from: Snaake on July 08, 2012, 04:15:17 pm
Quote from: krenshala on July 08, 2012, 01:43:39 pm
Decided to try the "bring ore and fuel instead of finished products" embark strategy to see how well I'd do with it.

Embarked in a decent spot, looked around, assigned a few missing labors, then unpaused so they could get to work.

Only to have an alligator leap out, maul a llama's head (still wounded a year later), try to rip of the left foot of one of the two Farmers, and killed one of my two female dogs before I was able to punch it to death with six dwarves (and two dogs chewing on it).  All on the 1st of Granite.

A normal embark, I would have had four weapons to use on it.  Instead, I have to resort to an unarmed mob to try and bring it down.  I've no idea how I managed to get away with so few injuries.

Sure, blame it on the lack of weapons. I remember a guy complaining that he had an alligator kill multiple embarks/reclaims worth of dwarves (and he bought 2-4 armed ones each time, I think).

Aligators are incredibly brutal.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: person012345 on July 09, 2012, 04:22:13 am
Quote from: Snaake on July 06, 2012, 06:51:40 pm
Quote from: person012345 on July 06, 2012, 12:43:55 pm
Break into caverns
Set up mining operation for slate
...

Just out of curiousity: why were you mining for slate?
I don't remember. I was probably using it for floors.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: person012345 on July 09, 2012, 04:23:30 am
Quote from: Shininglight on July 06, 2012, 07:56:27 pm
Every time for the last 27 worlds i've generated. not once NOT ONCE have i gotten flux without an aquifer.... argh. Of course my attempts to work through the aquifers result in this as well. I've read all the wiki articles.... still can't get through an aquifer.
I've broken through aquifiers twice using the cave-in method.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lurking Grue on July 09, 2012, 02:52:13 pm
This is the most effective member of my "military".

(http://tnypic.net/65253.png)

 >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joben on July 09, 2012, 04:58:34 pm
In the last days of my fortress i was messing around with mass pitting of caged prisoners. I was dropping them into a hole so they got softend up then letting my dwarves finish them for fun.

I had a healthy dwarf pounding on the skull of an unconcious troll with a bronze flail "bruising the fat" until the dwarf collapsed from exhaustion. Then woke up and resumed the pounding until exhausted again. This cycle repeated for a while.

Also giant birds are bad-ass. I had this troublesome goblin pikeman that killed several dwarves and war animals. It had moved on to murdering some human traders, a pet cougar of mine came up behind it and clawed it in the head but couldn't get through the helm.

Then a giant pet loverbird waltzed up, put the goblins arm in a lock, broke it, then proceeded to beat it to death. it was epic.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: krenshala on July 09, 2012, 06:49:32 pm
Quote from: Snaake on July 08, 2012, 04:15:17 pm
Quote from: krenshala on July 08, 2012, 01:43:39 pm
Decided to try the "bring ore and fuel instead of finished products" embark strategy to see how well I'd do with it.

Embarked in a decent spot, looked around, assigned a few missing labors, then unpaused so they could get to work.

Only to have an alligator leap out, maul a llama's head (still wounded a year later), try to rip of the left foot of one of the two Farmers, and killed one of my two female dogs before I was able to punch it to death with six dwarves (and two dogs chewing on it).  All on the 1st of Granite.

A normal embark, I would have had four weapons to use on it.  Instead, I have to resort to an unarmed mob to try and bring it down.  I've no idea how I managed to get away with so few injuries.

Sure, blame it on the lack of weapons. I remember a guy complaining that he had an alligator kill multiple embarks/reclaims worth of dwarves (and he bought 2-4 armed ones each time, I think).
Oh, I'm blaming myself, not the alligator.  He was just stopping in to see if we had any lunch for him.  I'm the idiot dwarf that though embarking with the materials to make needed tools (weapons are tools) instead of the tools themselves was a good plan for Untamed Wilds. :D

The fort has just started its third year (embark 1 Gr 1001, and its now Granite 1003) and things are much better now.  I haven't run into another 'gator, but lots of kea men, giant ravens, etc.  I've even managed to imprison my vampire after only a single lost woodcutter (a low skill one, out of six, at that) because I forgot to see about sequestering her earlier.  She apparently earned 200 days in prison due to the murder, but I don't plan to remove the iron bars from her cell any time soon.  :o  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LordRandomness on July 11, 2012, 01:04:05 am
Well, I was attempting to channel a cavern lake into the magma sea to surround a super-fun ore vein I happened to find there so I could mine it out. This scheme encountered several problems:

- First attempt: Channel a single hole over the sea. Result: Hole immediately plugs with obsidian, nothing else happens.
- Second attempt: Accidentally mistake "7/7 water" for "the tile above 7/7 water" and immediately dig into it. Result: flooding of my stairwell. Fortunately I had the foresight to have the stairwell a decent distance from the fort proper, so I was able to construct a wall before anything flooded.
- Still during the second attempt: Discovered that you don't actually need an up staircase on a given level to allow water to flow up from that level due to pressure. Result: second stairwell attempt, due to being dug entirely of up/down staircases, contacts a flooded area and starts taking on water as well.
- Third attempt: Channel out multiple bits of the floor above the magma sea, then flood the channeling chamber with water. Result: Water occasionally spreads diagonally, leading to obsidian being generated and immediately caving in. This messes up the whole casting process by flinging magma up to the level above, creating obsidian plugs that prevented the tile below them being properly solidified. This then cost me several pieces of super happy fun time ore thanks to them still being adjacent to magma.
- Still during the third attempt: The miner that poked a hole in the caverns decided that the best way to flee the ensuing flood was UP THE STAIRS, INTO THE CAVERN LAKE. He immediately began drowning, but miraculously stopped when enough water was drained from the lake. He even managed to make it ashore!

An unrelated mishap occurred when I was trying to build a magma pump for one of the sea's pipes: magma crab shot the worker, who instead of fleeing decided to stand there and get pelted. When he finally dodged one? Boom, straight into the magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: floundericiousWA on July 11, 2012, 09:07:34 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Wow. Epic dwarfiness!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ArmokGoB on July 11, 2012, 10:04:56 pm
I made a miscalculation while channeling my moat that would have been filled using the ocean waves. It ended up flooding my entire fortress through my farms from the bottom up because Urist McMason was too busy making thrones and staring at the staircase waterfall to build the fucking wall.  >:(
Nothing reminds me more of that scene from American Dad where the firemen are too busy staring at the fireworks to put out a burning house.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lazygun on July 12, 2012, 07:19:25 am
I'm planning to obsidianize the magma around a candy spire. There are no traps in the deepest levels, since my defences I'm building there assume trapavoid creatures. I dug a large room, with downward staircases on the tiles above the magma. I haven't hooked up the water supply yet. A fire imp came up and the first I knew of it was a hauler cancelling a job in the staircase between the top fort and the forges. Facepalm!

I ordered my military to attack it, and they just stood around saying they couldn't path to a valid target. There's definitely a clear path, but apparently dwarfs can't path into smoke tiles. I discovered that little fact, when the imp reached the top level caverns and a !!marksdwarf!! who got toasted just stood in the fire tile ignoring any orders to move away.

Overall I lost two cats, two haulers, the marksdwarf and an axelord who dealt the imp a killing blow without getting caught in the flames but then dropped dead on the walk up to the top fort.

The fort is now on the edge of a tantrum spiral. Having a corpse burn away to nothing apparently counts as decaying as far as bad thoughts are concerned. The last time things got bad, the axedwarf - the one who died this time - tore a cat apart with his bare hands and punched a speardwarf's brains out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DrunkenCaveOgre on July 12, 2012, 02:19:10 pm
(http://[URL=http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/821/hydradragon.png/][IMG]http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/3033/hydradragon.png)[/URL]
[/img]

Just realized I didnt tame these guys before I abandoned
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on July 12, 2012, 02:41:50 pm
Quote from: Lurking Grue on July 09, 2012, 02:52:13 pm
This is the most effective member of my "military".

(http://tnypic.net/65253.png)

 >:(
Who won?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 12, 2012, 10:34:52 pm
I'm guessing the baby.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on July 12, 2012, 10:36:01 pm
Badass baby.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ironlion on July 13, 2012, 01:24:18 am
Degel Talulolin Draws setches of:  Skeletons, Shining Bars of Metal, Cut Gems. 

...(a little while later)...

"Degel Talulolin, Smith has created Dezremothlest, a nickel crutch!"

 ::)

Not as amusing as a civilization named "The Syrup of Man".   I daresay that's almost naughty. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on July 13, 2012, 01:25:48 am
That measn someon is gonna lose a walking limb or suffer motor nerve damage in a foot. Can you not see it?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ironlion on July 13, 2012, 04:18:05 am
Oh yes, and when that time comes I'll have the happiest crutchwalker ever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on July 13, 2012, 05:54:57 am
Remove a dwarf's leg, leave it to rot and then replace the lost bones!

Anyway, I had my very first vampire, not counting the Scarlet sisters and the students at Cross Academy [lol, anime], who drained the blood out of my fisherdwarf. I decided this would be a prime time to find out how !!JUSTICE!! worked.

I then immediately imprisoned the first dwarf on my list - my Legendary +5 Miner, for 198 days as a murder suspect  >:(. The vampire decided to kill everyone else, and when she went for the miner:

SWISH!   ;) CLUNK!  :D

Brained by the dwarf who took your place, b****. 8)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on July 13, 2012, 11:39:20 am
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on July 13, 2012, 05:54:57 am
Remove a dwarf's leg, leave it to rot and then replace the lost bones!
Hasn't worked that way for a loooooooong time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BinaryBeast1010011010 on July 13, 2012, 12:01:59 pm
My civ : the molten bodice...
First artifact : a marble bed.
And now my thong wearing mayor is SO happy
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joben on July 13, 2012, 12:29:06 pm
Some restraints and a whip next to the bed. :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cheesoburgor on July 13, 2012, 04:12:37 pm
Quote from: BinaryBeast1010011010 on July 13, 2012, 12:01:59 pm
My civ : the molten bodice...
First artifact : a marble bed.
And now my thong wearing mayor is SO happy
urist.mc.mayor has been found dead completely drained of blood
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BinaryBeast1010011010 on July 13, 2012, 05:05:40 pm
funny enough, before I lost the fort to tantrum spiral (in defense mod, I was half way equiping my squad in masterwork steel everything) I was training a near legendary armorer when one of the legendary miners got snuffed. I decided to wait and see, then selected the armorer to check his preferences and then :
ex general, ex grand oracle, ex ex ex ex of half page of civs and govs...
I jailed the sucker in the arena then smelted his two masterwork steel helms just to make him cry and go berserk... training dummy for the marksdwarves...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cheesoburgor on July 13, 2012, 05:12:57 pm
Quote from: BinaryBeast1010011010 on July 13, 2012, 05:05:40 pm
funny enough, before I lost the fort to tantrum spiral (in defense mod, I was half way equiping my squad in masterwork steel everything) I was training a near legendary armorer when one of the legendary miners got snuffed. I decided to wait and see, then selected the armorer to check his preferences and then :
ex general, ex grand oracle, ex ex ex ex of half page of civs and govs...
I jailed the sucker in the arena then smelted his two masterwork steel helms just to make him cry and go berserk... training dummy for the marksdwarves...
did they start tantruming because of their loved vampire pet died?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BinaryBeast1010011010 on July 13, 2012, 05:32:16 pm
Yeah, I thought they would go apeshit about the miner's death since he was here from the beginning of the fort but as he was always lost in remote tunnels digging for glory, his death went unnoticed (ha? the creepy guy died? serves him well!)...
but when they lost THAT bloodsucking f(r)iend to tragedy...
the hunter was the first to snap... He interrupted his meal halfway through his masterwork roast, drew his crossbow, shot the legendary cook in the head, and started to loose at the bystanders... by the time the militia got there four dwarves laid in pools of blood and roasted tallow... after that there was a chase in the tree farm, tough luck the game was a warrior with one of the masterwork battle axes. he ran around (one z level of cleared soil is flippin big when there is a psycho with a battleaxe to find and dispatch) took on the militia men one by one then got shot... with only two survivors in the militia I decided to sit back and eat my dinner watching it...

I must add that soundsense is a great thing to have...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cheesoburgor on July 13, 2012, 05:49:46 pm
berserk dwarf's mind in a nutshell
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on July 13, 2012, 05:54:05 pm
Quote from: Cheesoburgor on July 13, 2012, 05:49:46 pm
berserk dwarf's mind in a nutshell
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Now, Theres an Idea I hadn't thought of.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HavingPhun on July 13, 2012, 10:38:34 pm
Urist mcmilitiacommander: The goblin siegers are coming! Close the gates!!!
Urist McBroker: Hurry! before they steal my socks!  :'( There mine! ALL MINE!!!!!!!  :o
Im tired.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 13, 2012, 11:11:51 pm
Find a beautiful site for a fort, with a volcano, little bit of mountains, no aquifer, stream.
Sweet, civ name, Wheels of war. Fuck yes.
Prepare carefully.
Alright. Hmm. Let's hit 'v'... Oh shit that was 'e'.
You have arrived!
FUUUUUUUUUUU-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: k9wazere on July 14, 2012, 10:46:29 am
Best face-palm moment I had, was in setting up an atom smashing trap for zombies. After putting a cat in an airlock as bait, I linked all the bridges to pressure plates and got ready to let the zombies in.

Then I order the level flipped, sit back, and watch the zombies enter. They immediately path up the access tunnel I'd forgotten to seal off, bypassing all the traps, and eat the kitten. Also I had no way of flushing them out of the system so the whole project was abandoned :p
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sisok on July 14, 2012, 01:09:36 pm
I'm facepalming severly right now, the dwarven caravans have just arrived, hopefully with some much needed flux, and my broker is trapped in the bottom of the world in a stupid cycle where he tries to grab some food he dropped but ends up getting freaked out by a dead cat and running away. I really hope he doesn't die from this.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: INSANEcyborg on July 14, 2012, 03:03:33 pm
A Woodburner migrant got a fey mood.   Good news: He had some training in weapon smithing and claimed a forge.  Bad news: He wants bismuth bars and didn't save any from the last caravan.  Good news: I ordered some more and the caravan should be here soon.   Bad news: I ordered ore, not bars.  Face palm: he went insane after I bought the ore and before I could smelt it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slayerhero90 on July 14, 2012, 03:06:33 pm
Quote from: INSANEcyborg on July 14, 2012, 03:03:33 pm
A Woodburner migrant got a fey mood.   Good news: He had some training in weapon smithing and claimed a forge.  Bad news: He wants bismuth bars and didn't save any from the last caravan.  Good news: I ordered some more and the caravan should be here soon.   Bad news: I ordered ore, not bars.  Face palm: he went insane after I bought the ore and before I could smelt it.

How do they request a specific metal? I've never had that happen to me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mageziya on July 14, 2012, 04:00:53 pm
Quote from: sisok on July 14, 2012, 01:09:36 pm
I'm facepalming severely right now, the dwarven caravans have just arrived, hopefully with some much needed flux, and my broker is trapped in the bottom of the world in a stupid cycle where he tries to grab some food he dropped but ends up getting freaked out by a dead cat and running away. I really hope he doesn't die from this.
Two things:

1) The broker doesn't HAVE to trade, you can have anyone trade.
2) Forbid the piece of food, that will stop him from going for it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sisok on July 14, 2012, 04:30:10 pm
Thanks yeah I realized 1), in earlier fortress I stayed away from this because I wouldn't get prices listed alongside wares, though I guess that's not as much of an issue with such a well established fortress. As for 2) I've been doing so for a good while, but the pile of food seems to grow. I don't know if it's just because there are pots there, so dwarves may be pulling more meals out or something, but I'll forbid items only for more to show up later. It seems as if the dwarves are picking up food from the pile two levels below and walking it up to there. Why they choose that specific place to drop their cat tallow biscuits is beyond me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: huskerman84 on July 14, 2012, 09:43:22 pm
I was a fairly new player and was trading with the second year's dwarven caravan and figured out that when i picked offer in the trade menu that i just gave it to them instead of offering them a deal I had been doing this with all my traders and had wasted loads of trading goods i now make sure to click trade.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: INSANEcyborg on July 14, 2012, 10:41:33 pm
Quote from: Slayerhero90 on July 14, 2012, 03:06:33 pm
How do they request a specific metal? I've never had that happen to me.

The dwarf needs to have a preference for that type of metal.  And I think you need to have had a bar of it in your fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Silver Dragon on July 15, 2012, 02:31:56 am
1) embarking without setting up my dwarfs at all XD, 2) another time my completely exterior castle fortress was wiped out by goblin lashers riding giant bats that got in my defenses thorough one single hole/wall that kept getting suspended . . . it was made with around 20k stone at least, 3) ah and i almost forgot i embarked in a area that had unholy fog that a barn owl got in to, it then proceeded to attack my dwarfs at which time i made them all military and told them to attack it, so they did and they never stoped, no matter what i did they kept attacking it and eventuly they were all legendary + 5 wrestlers and fighters, then they starved to death . . .
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LordRandomness on July 15, 2012, 05:53:49 am
Realizing after as many months playing this game that pressing TAB on the stocks screen brings up a list of all the individual items. GAH!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weenog on July 15, 2012, 03:17:44 pm
Quote from: LordRandomness on July 15, 2012, 05:53:49 am
Realizing after as many months playing this game that pressing TAB on the stocks screen brings up a list of all the individual items. GAH!

Wow.

Pity the embarrassment, but congratulations on discovering a very useful part of the game.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slayerhero90 on July 15, 2012, 03:26:37 pm
Quote from: weenog on July 15, 2012, 03:17:44 pm
Quote from: LordRandomness on July 15, 2012, 05:53:49 am
Realizing after as many months playing this game that pressing TAB on the stocks screen brings up a list of all the individual items. GAH!

Wow.

Pity the embarrassment, but congratulations on discovering a very useful part of the game.

Realizing after many months that ther IS a stocks menu.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Corai on July 15, 2012, 03:27:18 pm
Quote from: Slayerhero90 on July 15, 2012, 03:26:37 pm
Quote from: weenog on July 15, 2012, 03:17:44 pm
Quote from: LordRandomness on July 15, 2012, 05:53:49 am
Realizing after as many months playing this game that pressing TAB on the stocks screen brings up a list of all the individual items. GAH!

Wow.

Pity the embarrassment, but congratulations on discovering a very useful part of the game.

Realizing after many months that ther IS a stocks menu.

Realizing after many months that you can make stonecrafts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Frontestro on July 15, 2012, 03:48:58 pm
Embarking to a bandit camp with full decked out military fortress prepared to wipe them out only to find out the camp is friendly to my chosen civ.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lazygun on July 15, 2012, 05:50:20 pm
Who let that magma crab into the fort? Hmmm... must have managed to move sideways and up.

Why is it a bad idea to have a dwarf engage a magma crab in close combat?

On the plus side, from the amount of job cancellation spam I got, I learned that dwarfs can't even path *adjacent* to the smoke produced by an !!axelord!!

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SandyCaesar on July 15, 2012, 07:18:47 pm
Going back to Dwarf Fortress after a long time, decided to go mainly aboveground. I'm right between a river and a brook: a year of digging and channeling, and my moat-around-most-of-the-map is nearly completed. Let's see the gobbos cross thi--

Winter has arrived.

...shit. Is that ice?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 16, 2012, 02:59:06 am
Quote from: SandyCaesar on July 15, 2012, 07:18:47 pm
Going back to Dwarf Fortress after a long time, decided to go mainly aboveground. I'm right between a river and a brook: a year of digging and channeling, and my moat-around-most-of-the-map is nearly completed. Let's see the gobbos cross thi--

Winter has arrived.

...shit. Is that ice?


Lol, ice. Good time, good times. :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cheesoburgor on July 16, 2012, 03:13:16 am
''Horrible screams come from the darkness below''
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ironlion on July 16, 2012, 10:55:03 pm
Yeah but the trick to getting cotton candy is to make sure to isolate it, then set up a support attached to a lever so that a cave-in completely caps off that whole shaft.  In fact, having several of these dead-fall "panic button" traps can be a lifesaver.   Depending how deep, you may get your miners out in time; and depending on lever-pulling time, you may want to put in a nice long hallway covered by Ballistae.   

Then, when you do this, it is EXTREMELY important to make sure that your mechanic dwarf suspends the job to connect support beam and the lever.  Make sure you don't notice or check this.  That way, when you pull the lever, fun will closely follow, in one of the most entertaining ways to lose a fortress, i.e clown party. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 16, 2012, 11:13:52 pm
Cats.
Cats are interesting creatures.
On one hand, we have the hideously deadly catsplosion, death of many a well established fortress.
On the other hand, if you forget to embark with cats, and don't have any... Well, let's just say goddamn lungfish and roaches can kill your fortress just as efficiently as a 200+ goblin siege busting down the only door.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on July 16, 2012, 11:53:13 pm
Quote from: Hanslanda on July 16, 2012, 11:13:52 pm
Cats.
Cats are interesting creatures.
On one hand, we have the hideously deadly catsplosion, death of many a well established fortress.
On the other hand, if you forget to embark with cats, and don't have any... Well, let's just say goddamn lungfish and roaches can kill your fortress just as efficiently as a 200+ goblin siege busting down the only door.
Well, kill your fps anyway. Never, not once, heard of anything getting killed by vermin. Roaches might give bad thoughts though, and those do kill.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weenog on July 16, 2012, 11:59:12 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on July 16, 2012, 11:53:13 pm
Quote from: Hanslanda on July 16, 2012, 11:13:52 pm
Cats.
Cats are interesting creatures.
On one hand, we have the hideously deadly catsplosion, death of many a well established fortress.
On the other hand, if you forget to embark with cats, and don't have any... Well, let's just say goddamn lungfish and roaches can kill your fortress just as efficiently as a 200+ goblin siege busting down the only door.
Well, kill your fps anyway. Never, not once, heard of anything getting killed by vermin. Roaches might give bad thoughts though, and those do kill.

Many types of vermin will eat your food.  Many specimens of vermin will eat all your food.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 17, 2012, 12:16:45 am
Quote from: weenog on July 16, 2012, 11:59:12 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on July 16, 2012, 11:53:13 pm
Quote from: Hanslanda on July 16, 2012, 11:13:52 pm
Cats.
Cats are interesting creatures.
On one hand, we have the hideously deadly catsplosion, death of many a well established fortress.
On the other hand, if you forget to embark with cats, and don't have any... Well, let's just say goddamn lungfish and roaches can kill your fortress just as efficiently as a 200+ goblin siege busting down the only door.
Well, kill your fps anyway. Never, not once, heard of anything getting killed by vermin. Roaches might give bad thoughts though, and those do kill.

Many types of vermin will eat your food.  Many specimens of vermin will eat all your food.

ALL your food. And whatever your farms produce gets consumed by the growing horde of ungrateful pets your dwarves have unwittingly attracted.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SixOfSpades on July 17, 2012, 12:20:42 am
Found out firsthand what happens when a Baron notices that he's cohabiting with his long-term girlfriend. Poor fellow was deeply traumatized, and apparently I didn't correct the situation quickly enough . . . when he went Berserk, I decided, "Ah, this merits an honorable savescum, might as well sit back and watch what a Legendary Miner wearing (& wielding) masterwork steel everything can do."

Final tally? 57 out of 86 dwarves slain, plus 30-odd head of livestock, before he died of thirst. He lost 2 teeth and broke his right ear.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZestDwarf on July 17, 2012, 12:36:30 am
*sigh* i hate and love how sometimes one of your dwarves can pull a David and Goliath moment.
So a giant comes into my fort before i can fully equip my military. I know giants are not much of a threat, but i go through the effort of designating the burrow zones and assigning everyone and positioning my military to intercept the giant.
Whoa, that thing can run, its practically at my gates! well, hope those traders can handle it.
*Urist Mchunter returns from hunt and spy's giant*
*Urist Mchunter uses David and goliath moment by pegging giant in face with single shot!*
Its super effective!
*Goliath McGiant faints!*
Welp. I now have a dwarf i gave the profession "Giant Killer" to, but i sure didn't have to go through all the fuss of readying my fort for Goliath.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aviator CJ on July 17, 2012, 02:29:40 am
I've spent 10 in-game years building up the serrated-disc trap-laden entrance to Fortunemine so it can pure any siege. I decide that this time I won't bother with cage traps. And who shows up? A freaking fire-breathing dragon. I wanted that dragon in one piece, dammit, not five!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: backora900 on July 17, 2012, 04:18:52 am
Quote from: Hanslanda on July 16, 2012, 11:13:52 pm
Cats.
Cats are interesting creatures.
On one hand, we have the hideously deadly catsplosion, death of many a well established fortress.
On the other hand, if you forget to embark with cats, and don't have any... Well, let's just say goddamn lungfish and roaches can kill your fortress just as efficiently as a 200+ goblin siege busting down the only door.
In one of my forts I tried to tame and breed peregrine falcons. And it worked for vermin quite well. Beside it is bird so if you don't want it to breed you just have to collect eggs. Also it doesn't have that silly habit to adopt your dwarves.
You can chnge them to domestic in raws if you want to try them instead of cats. (bonus: take giant peregrine falcon - it should work as well)

Also I thought that food in barrels is protected from vermin. Or do you speak of something else?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ironlion on July 17, 2012, 07:32:53 am
I guess you have to like cats? Really though, as long as you kill enough of the items to have a decent population without uncontrolled breeding (keeping only the males and perhaps 2 or 3 females, opposite of livestock), cats are great.   What really hugs me: no letterboxes.  And considering what cat urine is like, imagine that I'm a cave with no ventilation....  Might need better with the rats.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bukitodinos on July 17, 2012, 08:24:56 am
Quote from: Hanslanda on July 16, 2012, 11:13:52 pm
Cats.
Cats are interesting creatures.
On one hand, we have the hideously deadly catsplosion, death of many a well established fortress.
On the other hand, if you forget to embark with cats, and don't have any... Well, let's just say goddamn lungfish and roaches can kill your fortress just as efficiently as a 200+ goblin siege busting down the only door.
I always keep 2 out for that purpose.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snateraar on July 17, 2012, 10:10:47 am
I tried to make my first DAS and somehow failed miserably. All the refuse ended up one z-level below because I dug a pit.
So I designated those items to be dumped again, but while dwarves were taking away the bones another already got to the level above and accidentally dumped elephant bones on another dorf's head.

He broke his spine and suffocated a few minutes later. Meanwhile nobody gave a damn because mist generators.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 17, 2012, 10:17:28 am
Quote from: backora900 on July 17, 2012, 04:18:52 am
Quote from: Hanslanda on July 16, 2012, 11:13:52 pm
Cats.
Cats are interesting creatures.
On one hand, we have the hideously deadly catsplosion, death of many a well established fortress.
On the other hand, if you forget to embark with cats, and don't have any... Well, let's just say goddamn lungfish and roaches can kill your fortress just as efficiently as a 200+ goblin siege busting down the only door.
In one of my forts I tried to tame and breed peregrine falcons. And it worked for vermin quite well. Beside it is bird so if you don't want it to breed you just have to collect eggs. Also it doesn't have that silly habit to adopt your dwarves.
You can chnge them to domestic in raws if you want to try them instead of cats. (bonus: take giant peregrine falcon - it should work as well)

Also I thought that food in barrels is protected from vermin. Or do you speak of something else?


This is fricking awesome and I will definitely do it.

Quote from: Ironlion on July 17, 2012, 07:32:53 am
I guess you have to like cats? Really though, as long as you kill enough of the items to have a decent population without uncontrolled breeding (keeping only the males and perhaps 2 or 3 females, opposite of livestock), cats are great.   What really hugs me: no letterboxes.  And considering what cat urine is like, imagine that I'm a cave with no ventilation....  Might need better with the rats.


Yeah, cat leavings all over the floor of a fortress would be disgusting and dangerous. I believe decomposing waste matter produces gases such as methane. Methane is explosive. Also, gets you high from air deprivation, which would explain a LOT about Dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Altaree on July 17, 2012, 02:48:32 pm
I used dfhack to embark on a human fort.  Get all the starting designations complete. Unpause.  Turns out the humans are hostile to a group of dwarves setting up in the middle of their fort.  Whoops
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SandyCaesar on July 17, 2012, 04:48:45 pm
I was constructing a multi-z-level tall pit to fling gobbos into. Unfortunately I forgot that dwarves tend not to be the brightest when channeling. At the bottom, a "recovery shaft" leading back to the surface. Well and good.

Somehow the miner got the idea to remove the bits at the bottom first, and then go back up and dig his way down.

The inevitable happened, and now the bottomless pit has been properly inaugurated with the body of the miner who dug it. /facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ptb_ptb on July 17, 2012, 05:26:07 pm
Just now.

Was forcibly reminded how water pressure flow works. I just wanted a little water to bring a bit of mud and I got an entire ocean filling my fortress instantly and killing 19 out of 20 dwarfs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on July 17, 2012, 05:35:04 pm
I like to call such moments a "toilet flush."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ironlion on July 17, 2012, 08:46:07 pm
Quote from: ptb_ptb on July 17, 2012, 05:26:07 pm
Just now.

Was forcibly reminded how water pressure flow works. I just wanted a little water to bring a bit of mud and I got an entire ocean filling my fortress instantly and killing 19 out of 20 dwarfs.

I did that with lava; to say it has "no pressure" is somewhat inaccurate, since when breaching a lava vein, it does tend to project forward with a certain velocity.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eldestish on July 18, 2012, 09:23:59 pm
I made a GCS farm and pitted the spider in..
I forgot to forbid the doors and it killed the bait,Then I let it out into the waiting cage trap..but it just went by and then killed a few dorfs before my militia killed it..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 18, 2012, 09:27:19 pm
Quote from: Ironlion on July 17, 2012, 08:46:07 pm
Quote from: ptb_ptb on July 17, 2012, 05:26:07 pm
Just now.

Was forcibly reminded how water pressure flow works. I just wanted a little water to bring a bit of mud and I got an entire ocean filling my fortress instantly and killing 19 out of 20 dwarfs.

I did that with lava; to say it has "no pressure" is somewhat inaccurate, since when breaching a lava vein, it does tend to project forward with a certain velocity.

Yeah. I was trying to breach a volcano the other day and tried the diagonal fortification method. Diagonals LIE. No pressure is removed. That shit sprayed into my fortress. It was an exciting time for my dwarves. Desperately trying to reach the lever for the floodgate before the magma passed the lever. I lied, they were all on break as the forges slowly filled with magma. Thankfully, only one dwarf was injured.
And yes, I put the lever near where the magma will be, because fuck OSHA.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: waldo on July 18, 2012, 11:15:50 pm
so apparently setting a gaggle of dwarves out to kill those stupid traders that always clog up the immigrant lines causes the entire fortress to turn on those dwarves... imagine my surprise when my alerts is flooded with job cancellations because they are all running from my military...

also what's left of my military has turned on the few that killed the trader so, *facepalm*.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 18, 2012, 11:17:56 pm
Ladies and gentledwarfs, a loyalty cascade. *Claps politely*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on July 18, 2012, 11:21:02 pm
Beutiful. Truly and undeniably.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: waldo on July 18, 2012, 11:22:01 pm
so it's safe to say i'm well and truthfully screwed?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on July 18, 2012, 11:26:33 pm
Also undeniably. Unless you can keep the "Traitor" forces seperated.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on July 18, 2012, 11:30:08 pm
Quote from: waldo on July 18, 2012, 11:22:01 pm
so it's safe to say i'm well and truthfully screwed?
Probably. Quick and decisive intervention could prevent it, but you are in a lot of trouble.

The dwarves who attacked the traders are no longer loyal to the civ, which makes them enemies of your citizens. Since the are still loyal to your fort, any dwarves who attack them will become enemies of the fort, but not of the civ.  dwarves who kill your regular loyal to everyone dwarves will be loyal to no one. The upshot is that you cant send more of your military aainst the unloyal ones, since by killing them there now unloyal too.

HOWEVER... You still control the first semi-loyal dwarves, so you can order them to go to the edge of the map, where you can deal with them later.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: waldo on July 18, 2012, 11:37:22 pm
alright so i managed to move the squad to the edge of the map, they fought amongst themselves for a while and on a whim i decided to let them back in and nobody seems to be shooting at them or actively trying to kill each other, or running away from them for that matter, is it really safe or have i just made the situation worse somehow?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 18, 2012, 11:41:12 pm
...
Oh god, what have you done?


Just kidding, I have no idea whether that's good or bad. Have !!FUN!!.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on July 18, 2012, 11:43:48 pm
I've done some science on this, Which Makes me the self-proclaimed expert on Loyalty cascades/.

It is possible that the good Dwarves(citizens) beat off the bad ones(seperatists, renegades, and loyalists (loyal to fort, no one, and civ respectively)) and so your dwarves are fine. However, there is a chance that this did not occur, and you have brought untold hell upon yourself.

Eazy way to check: Look at the loyalty info (Dark Blue writing in the status screen.), once there, figure out whats up. If their unfriendly to one or both things, check your other dwarves for similarities in loyalty.

It sounds like you lucked out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: waldo on July 18, 2012, 11:48:09 pm
@hanslada yay !!fire!!

everything seems okay...

alright so i seem to be a lucky little git for my next act i'll dig into the sea, or follow an adamantine vein straight to the HFS, army? who needs that?! hell sounds like a comfy place to put the nursery!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 18, 2012, 11:49:22 pm
Then you can have a loyalty cascade in Hell! How fun would that be?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on July 19, 2012, 12:16:48 am
Quote from: waldo on July 18, 2012, 11:48:09 pm
@hanslada yay !!fire!!

everything seems okay...

alright so i seem to be a lucky little git for my next act i'll dig into the sea, or follow an adamantine vein straight to the HFS, army? who needs that?! hell sounds like a comfy place to put the nursery!
Lucky bastard. Seriously, you have no clue. If this had happened when I was online, your entire fort would be covered in dwarf blood. More so then usual.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 19, 2012, 12:17:33 am
Hehe, we should have said, "quick kill them before it spread!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on July 19, 2012, 12:19:38 am
Quote from: Hanslanda on July 19, 2012, 12:17:33 am
Hehe, we should have said, "quick kill them before it spread!"
Yeah, its disappointing to see people coming through this so easily. How will they learn?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 19, 2012, 12:22:02 am
Don't worry, he doesn't know about the [REDACTED] yet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on July 19, 2012, 12:24:15 am
Quote from: Hanslanda on July 19, 2012, 12:22:02 am
Don't worry, he doesn't know about the [REDACTED] yet.
Are you sure? He seems like he might. But if he doesn't then he will be [REDACTED], am I right?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joben on July 19, 2012, 01:03:30 am
I embarked on a possibly sightly crack brained plumbing project.

Close to ground level I have a brook fed cistern. Far below ground level I'm building a new cistern/well near the new hospital. I decide to dig a tunnel from Cistern 2 to Cistern 1.

I get ready to breech the bottom of the #1 and realize I don't have much of an exit strategy.

I'm going to have a dwarf in a long tunnel that will rapidly be filling with water. And he might not get back behind the floodgate in time.

So instead of one of my good miners I find the sorriest dope in the base, hand him a pick and boot him into the tunnel. I figure if things go wrong retrieving a body is easier than re-engineering the whole thing.

So the palooka hits the last stone and, it's not a flow, it's like a geyser. He disapears, and the water slams into the first bend 15 squares behind him. I pause and inspect. He's STANDING there LIKE A BOSS. He then swims UPSTREAM, and up about 8 Z levels of water, climbs out of Cistern 1 and hurries off. BECAUSE he's late for archery practice. I want to make this guy Mayor now.

Then I look at the restof the tunnel. And halfway down it I find, a wheelbarrow. a dead dwarf, and his dead pet dog. I think he was after some stones. He died over diorite, and not just diorite, a random piece of unusually inaccessible diorite...instead of you know, gettting one of the ones that are EVERYWHERE ELSE.

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on July 19, 2012, 01:44:44 am
Ah, natural selection.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rover963 on July 19, 2012, 10:03:46 am
"Rhesus Macaque has stolen blahblahlah"

Who the fuck is this dwarf names Rhesus Macaque and why does he keep stealing his brethren's shit?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slayerhero90 on July 19, 2012, 10:48:05 am
Quote from: Rover963 on July 19, 2012, 10:03:46 am
"Rhesus Macaque has stolen blahblahlah"

Who the fuck is this dwarf names Rhesus Macaque and why does he keep stealing his brethren's shit?

That's a type of monkey...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 19, 2012, 12:08:16 pm
Quote from: misko27 on July 19, 2012, 12:24:15 am
Quote from: Hanslanda on July 19, 2012, 12:22:02 am
Don't worry, he doesn't know about the [REDACTED] yet.
Are you sure? He seems like he might. But if he doesn't then he will be [REDACTED], am I right?

And then the [EXPUNGED] will [REDACTED] his [REDACTED].
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slayerhero90 on July 19, 2012, 12:20:01 pm
Quote from: Hanslanda on July 19, 2012, 12:08:16 pm
Quote from: misko27 on July 19, 2012, 12:24:15 am
Quote from: Hanslanda on July 19, 2012, 12:22:02 am
Don't worry, he doesn't know about the [REDACTED] yet.
Are you sure? He seems like he might. But if he doesn't then he will be [REDACTED], am I right?

And then the [EXPUNGED] will [REDACTED] his [REDACTED].

But what will happen if he [POTATO] it? Will he the proceed to [BANANA]? I don't think [WOMBATS] would approve.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ptb_ptb on July 19, 2012, 03:20:31 pm
Do a little remodelling. Find out a couple of months later, when two dwarves die of dehydration, that you've cut off the path to the lowest three or four floors of your fortress. Decide to re-do the connection between floors to be less fragile.

Cause a cave in. Kill a dwarf. Destroy several masterworks that were stored on the floor below.

Yeaah, I think I'm going to try again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: waldo on July 19, 2012, 05:45:26 pm
do i want to know what [REDACTED] is? it sound kinda hanky. i mean the last time i was to the bottom of any map was in 40d and to date i haven't found a single bit of adamantine... surprisingly enough i still get kicks out of trying to keep my dwarves from getting themselves killed en mass...

we should collectively author an SCP for dwarf fortress, or at least one for the dwarves within...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on July 19, 2012, 06:08:47 pm
Quote from: waldo on July 19, 2012, 05:45:26 pm
do i want to know what [REDACTED] is? it sound kinda hanky. i mean the last time i was to the bottom of any map was in 40d and to date i haven't found a single bit of adamantine... surprisingly enough i still get kicks out of trying to keep my dwarves from getting themselves killed en mass...

we should collectively author an SCP for dwarf fortress, or at least one for the dwarves within...
can't find it? DIG DEEPER. MUAHAHAHHA!

Seriously, keep going till you hit magma or semi-molten rock, then pierce the magma sea (from the top!!!). With any luck, you sould be able to see, then ask for help getting it if its not exposed. If magma sea DOESN'T reveal dig arounds to un exposed parts of the sea. There is always the adamantine somewhere, and its always reachable.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on July 19, 2012, 06:20:12 pm
Actually, if you use a 2x2 embark, place your ambark point in a certain way, and are very unlucky, you can get an embark without any bluemetal.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Putnam on July 19, 2012, 06:49:36 pm
Quote from: waldo on July 19, 2012, 05:45:26 pm
we should collectively author an SCP for dwarf fortress, or at least one for the dwarves within...

and then I'll mod it in somehow
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: waldo on July 19, 2012, 07:12:58 pm
i never really felt a need to get to that point but now i kind of do... i've heard... stories about what's down there, it seems rather fun in both cases.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on July 19, 2012, 09:21:58 pm
Quote from: waldo on July 19, 2012, 07:12:58 pm
i never really felt a need to get to that point but now i kind of do... i've heard... stories about what's down there, it seems rather fun in both cases.
Trust me, candy is a wonderful substance, absolutely wonderful, completely worth the trouble. You haven't lived till you've sent a fully candy-clad axelord with a arttifact candy axe into battle. As for the uh, other stuff, Post results please  :P.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: XXSockXX on July 20, 2012, 10:33:04 am
Always wondered about tantrums in my first forts. Then realized "XX" was not just another quality marker...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weenog on July 20, 2012, 07:04:29 pm
Quote from: XXSockXX on July 20, 2012, 10:33:04 am
Always wondered about tantrums in my first forts. Then realized "XX" was not just another quality marker...

*glances at poster name*   Is this an old story, perchance?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: XXSockXX on July 21, 2012, 09:44:30 am
Quote from: weenog on July 20, 2012, 07:04:29 pm
Quote from: XXSockXX on July 20, 2012, 10:33:04 am
Always wondered about tantrums in my first forts. Then realized "XX" was not just another quality marker...

*glances at poster name*   Is this an old story, perchance?

No, I just have been very upset about wearing tattered clothing lately.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cheesoburgor on July 21, 2012, 01:06:11 pm
Quick now is your chance TROLL HIM!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on July 21, 2012, 09:50:31 pm
A stealthed necromancer made it past my trapped entrance and several crowded areas without being seen, and proceeded to trow wave after wave of reanimated hair and limbs at my dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joben on July 21, 2012, 11:23:40 pm
I had a lizard monster diplomat that spread some sort of disease or poison (fever/numbness --> paralysis/death) trapped in a small corridor. Diplomat or not it killed 20% of my fort without bloodying a claw. I think i posted about it a page or two back.

I'd made a pit zone above it and occasionally tossed it disarmed goblin prisoners to dispose of. Well I hadn't for a while so i qued up a bunch of them and turned my attention to something else. Without thinking about it I'd also tossed a pair of trolls into it's little corridor. And they broke down the doors.

facepalm one

Then it proceeded to wander around my fortress for a while. I assembled the military and when things started spontaneously suffocating again I gave the attack command.

My soldiers attack, but the massive pack of wardogs i've been breeding for years don't join in. They just frolic around watching the mayhem. The tame grey languars, which normally love helping the dogs tear things to pieces don't help either.

facepalm 2

The fight raged all around the fort, my soldiers getting exausted, and very slowly disabled or killed. Because it doesn't seem to actually want to fight much, but the occasional counterstrike or attack would take an arm off a dwarf. The fighting lasted for weeks and weeks. Long enough that the wounds I put on it started scarring up DURING THE FIGHT. It was too big for most attacks to go deeper than fat. (including crossbow bolts)

facepalm 3

Slowly it's injuries pile up, including but not limited to broken limbs, cracked skull and spine broken in two paces. But it's still outpacing, dodging, and occasionally kiling my dwarves... HOW?

facepalm 4

I eventually conscripted some peasants and gave them iron spears hoping one would get lucky and pierce something vital in the body. One actually hit it in the head but it only tore a tendon.

facepalm 5

So...I gave up and called back the troops. It didn't seem to care one way or the other and went back to wandering the halls bringing suffocating death to everyone.

facepalm 6

Then got down to business and its now having a nice chat with my baroness in her blood splattered office while the fort tantrums around them and the dying litter the halls.

facepalm 7

Also, the dogs have finally decided to do something and are busy ripping the throats out of beserk dwaves...thats....good???

facepalm 8

My foe as she stands.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 22, 2012, 12:04:16 am
Holy shit man. That's gnarly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chimpanzee on July 22, 2012, 09:52:05 am
My current embark has a minor river with some carp and stingrays around. I thought of the crazy idea of capturing some and then farming them.

Luckily, a female carp was caught in one of the submerged cage traps quite early. The dwarves hauled her to the animal stockpile. But I was really disappointed and surprised that she won't show on the z-animal menu! I could pasture or pit her, but not tame her. Then, after a look in the wiki, I was really disappointed to see "cannot be tamed" in the carp's article. *FACEPALM!* :o (because I thought of reporting it in the gameplay forum)
As for the stingrays, I won't be able to farm them, because there are only two remaining in the map, both male.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DarthMetool on July 22, 2012, 09:13:30 pm
lol, genned a world and saw a great spot to stretch a bridge connecting an island to the mainland.  Made the embark sight 4 wide and 6 or 7 tall, embarked, and found my dwarves, wagon, supplies and animals parked smack dab in the middle of the frozen ocean channel.

On the first day of Spring. *facepalm*

There were no survivors.

 :P Third time was the charm, though.  Survivors!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ClkWrkJester on July 22, 2012, 11:42:59 pm
As a dragon rampaged through my fort, I tried to stop it and watched my military die. I started getting angry, getting upset at my poor defensive layout, started getting into a bad mood.

Then I watched the dragon start to hacky sack a dorf baby against a wall and remembered...  remembered the best advice and facepalmed at my own stupidity.

I remembered that losing is fun.

At this point I sat back, grabbed a snack, and watched the carnage with glee.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on July 23, 2012, 05:47:14 am
Quote from: ClkWrkJester on July 22, 2012, 11:42:59 pm
As a dragon rampaged through my fort, I tried to stop it and watched my military die. I started getting angry, getting upset at my poor defensive layout, started getting into a bad mood.

Then I watched the dragon start to hacky sack a dorf baby against a wall and remembered...  remembered the best advice and facepalmed at my own stupidity.

I remembered that losing is fun.

At this point I sat back, grabbed a snack, and watched the carnage with glee.

You have passed your initiation, young one.

As for my passing of the initiation, mine carts. Candy spears. A nursery. And magma. Always one spot I forget to seal off...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Togre on July 23, 2012, 03:47:08 pm
I have repeatedly (and with different excuses each time) forgotten to lock the door of my training pit and allowed 4 or 5 creatures or creature-men gallop through my fortress being chased by the 3 dwarf squad assigned to kill them.  I am fortunate to have never taken significant casualties from being so stupid.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aviator CJ on July 24, 2012, 10:04:04 am
I'm planning to magma-cast an outside fortress structure, complete with a wall pulling double duty as a magma reservoir for magma landmines. The facepalm came as I realised that the area is so cold that water is liquid for a mere 2 weeks of the year. It's gonna take ages to solidify the lava!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CookieRaider on July 24, 2012, 11:41:57 am
Maybe you can use the magma to melt the ice.

In my newest fortress site there is a huge aquifer only a few z levels underground. It covers the entire map, and all of the shallow metals are in it...  :'(
Title: Perfect. Just perfect.
Post by: Blackadder on July 24, 2012, 12:55:53 pm
So, I began building a deep underground fortress right above the magma sea, and I decided to start on an irrigation system. I wanted to make a completely self sufficient underground fortress. I had a great flood system set up, with floor hatches, one level above my farm. I had everything linked up, including a pressure plate to stop the flooding once the farm is full. Then, thinking it was all ready to go, I carved the last channel, and watched the water flow from the river, down a hundred levels, and begin to flood into the irrigation tunnels. Then I realize that I forgot to block off my service stair, which leads directly down to my new fort. I panic, and decide to floor off the stair, and then wall in the miner before the water gets there. He builds a floor, saving the fort, then begins the wall. He builds it from the wrong side (I suspended the wrong wall.) I panic again and try to get my legendary miner and mason (who is the mayor, and just married, with children..) to remove the wall and start over.

Then he falls asleep, with the water ten tiles away. Just falls asleep.

Poor Amost Dobarsokan, he died for a noble cause.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nighzmarquls on July 24, 2012, 09:14:44 pm
Was reclaiming a fortress that had succumbed to goblins and ghosts...

First reclaim died to vengeful ghosts...

Second reclaim died after getting well on the way to building up catacombs...

Realize forgot to unforbid corpses of vengeful ghosts...

Reclaim with a combination miner engraver party of seven and extra food...

Use detritus of fort to supply everything else.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KyleJRM on July 24, 2012, 11:51:05 pm
Longest running fort yet (not saying much). Felt like things were going very well, beginning to experiment with the many things I don't understand, such as mechanics and burrows.

Four goblins? No big deal, my military can handle that. s ... k...l...mark all the goblins, watch the battle...suddenly all heck breaks loose.

Oops, accidentally selected the outpost liaison too, dwarves all go crazy on each other.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on July 25, 2012, 01:36:31 am
Quote from: KyleJRM on July 24, 2012, 11:51:05 pm
Longest running fort yet (not saying much). Felt like things were going very well, beginning to experiment with the many things I don't understand, such as mechanics and burrows.

Four goblins? No big deal, my military can handle that. s ... k...l...mark all the goblins, watch the battle...suddenly all heck breaks loose.

Oops, accidentally selected the outpost liaison too, dwarves all go crazy on each other.
aha, aha, you loyalty cascade. You are going to die unless you act quickly. I could explain the situation, but I am too tired at the moment. Basically, the dwarf is friend and enemy simultaneausly, and when dwarves kill him, they become the same thing. Seperate the unloyal to the civilization and send them away from the fort, at that point,you need to seperate them from the other dwarves and let them die, my reccommendation being sending them solo after the goblins if any. They will attack dwarves as enemies, so be careful. Also, you have to move fast, becauese the longer the situation persists the more likely it is essentially unrecoverable, and you will die horribly. If you are unable to stop the violence before it spreads, deactivate the military, so that unnescasary casualties are avoided.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on July 25, 2012, 01:56:09 am
Quantum Loyalty.
Only slightly simpler than the workings of a dwarf's liver  8)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on July 25, 2012, 02:01:23 am
I like to think of them as Schrdinger's warriors. Their loyalty cannot be known until they see another dwarf, at which point the other dwarf observes them and collapses the wave function by canceling their job.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joben on July 25, 2012, 10:03:51 am
This isn't really a facepalm, but i'd like to update you folks on my lizard god problem.

After much schenanegins, I trapped the poison spewing lizard monster diplomat again, this time in a room by the entrance and left it there. After a few months it went mad.

A while later a goblin siege happens. My military hasn't recovered yet so i turtle and pull everyone back behind the traps and ballista.

A crew of 9 trolls and a bunch of goblins bust in and start milling around the abandoned rooms. Then the trolls see the doors to the mad god's room and decide to break them down. hehe stupid trolls.

They had no idea the hurting they were in for. The lizard monster at this point still has a totally broken spine, and it can only "Push" on things. but it's first attack still severs a bodypart.

It killed 3 trolls outright and mangled the other six until they fainted, all without taking a hit.
When the goblins came to see what the ruckus was it killed them all too.

Then it wandered off and lay in a corner, and I imagine hummed to itself.

When the trolls woke up they retreated promptly.

A while later a marksdwarf wandered over to the diety and put an -iron bolt- through it's brain. I got VERY lucky.

The thing was enormous. When i sold it's cloth dress later i noticed it weighed 639 urists. (An entire dwarf weighs about 60)

I went and found the thing's skeleton in the trash heap. That alone, with no flesh, weighs 1942. (Dwarf skeletons weigh about 10)

I think that means it was significantly larger than an elephant when it was alive.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 25, 2012, 06:00:04 pm
... The lizard god was the size of 40 dwarves. His clothes weighed as much as ten dwarves. This is the same one that made people cough up blood and suffocate, right?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joben on July 25, 2012, 07:20:28 pm
Yep, same one. Though not cough up blood precicely, they would suffer total paralysis and suffocate. Some of the more hardy victims would walk around with a dizzy and with a fever for a little while first.

I remember wondering in my first fight with it why it's clothes were blocking so many stabs...I know why now...they were made out of several bins worth of material.

I forgot to mention, her weapon of choice, before i broke her arms, was a goblin bone earring. o_O
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: arzzult on July 25, 2012, 07:39:15 pm
Quote from: Joben on July 25, 2012, 07:20:28 pm
Yep, same one. Though not cough up blood precicely, they would suffer total paralysis and suffocate. Some of the more hardy victims would walk around with a dizzy and with a fever for a little while first.

I remember wondering in my first fight with it why it's clothes were blocking so many stabs...I know why now...they were made out of several bins worth of material.

I forgot to mention, her weapon of choice, before i broke her arms, was a goblin bone earring. o_O

Made from the whole goblin?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 25, 2012, 08:10:12 pm
Quote from: arzzult on July 25, 2012, 07:39:15 pm
Quote from: Joben on July 25, 2012, 07:20:28 pm
Yep, same one. Though not cough up blood precicely, they would suffer total paralysis and suffocate. Some of the more hardy victims would walk around with a dizzy and with a fever for a little while first.

I remember wondering in my first fight with it why it's clothes were blocking so many stabs...I know why now...they were made out of several bins worth of material.

I forgot to mention, her weapon of choice, before i broke her arms, was a goblin bone earring. o_O

Made from the whole goblin?

I lol'd at this.


Facepalm of the day: All the artifacts in my current fortress... Are made of palm. The only useful item is a bucket. Face meet palm. And not the tree.  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cheesoburgor on July 26, 2012, 04:28:52 pm
Quote from: Hanslanda on July 25, 2012, 08:10:12 pm
Quote from: arzzult on July 25, 2012, 07:39:15 pm
Quote from: Joben on July 25, 2012, 07:20:28 pm
Yep, same one. Though not cough up blood precicely, they would suffer total paralysis and suffocate. Some of the more hardy victims would walk around with a dizzy and with a fever for a little while first.

I remember wondering in my first fight with it why it's clothes were blocking so many stabs...I know why now...they were made out of several bins worth of material.

I forgot to mention, her weapon of choice, before i broke her arms, was a goblin bone earring. o_O

Made from the whole goblin?

I lol'd at this.


Facepalm of the day: All the artifacts in my current fortress... Are made of palm. The only useful item is a bucket. Face meet palm. And not the tree.  ::)
Hanslanda meet Arzcor the adamantine cloth sock All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. Is is decorated with adamantine cloth and elf bone. This object menaces with spikes of giant cave spider chitin, Native gold and Tower-cap. On the item is an image of socks in Phyllite. On the item is an image of Urist Leaderhammer the dwarf and dwarves in adamantine cloth. Urist Leaderhammer is surrounded by the dwarves. The artwork relates to the ascension of the dwarf Urist Leaderhammer to leadership of The Boats of Swallowing in 98. On the item is an image of Mosus Autumnstockade the forgotten beast in Phyllite.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 26, 2012, 10:29:34 pm
That is the most dwarven sock in all of existence.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZestDwarf on July 27, 2012, 12:41:54 am
This is either a bug or a really annoying facepalm, any opinions would be helpful.
So im diddlin around in my fort after the king arrives, and i suddenly notice in my nobles screen that my king has become the mayor. Well that was weird, but i ignored it because the king DID have high social skills.
The facepalm is that i went to look at my count, and checked his mood, only to see "Is upset by a lessers pretentious arrangements"
*facepalm* he is pissed that the MAYOR has better rooms than he does, but the mayor is the FREAKIN KING.
I Tried to find the bug on the bug website but was unsuccessful.
This is going to end in tantrums. it always ends in tantrums.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on July 27, 2012, 01:01:04 am
Hehe. That's not a bug, it's a feature.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheDJ17 on July 27, 2012, 03:29:10 am
Apparently my fort's river freezes for one week out of the year allowing a group of ogres to cross my moat and rampage throughout my fort :(

Also one of the ogres turned into a siege operator from the killing, I'm not even sure how that works.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gentlefish on July 27, 2012, 10:38:06 am
Quote from: ZestDwarf on July 27, 2012, 12:41:54 am
This is either a bug or a really annoying facepalm, any opinions would be helpful.
So im diddlin around in my fort after the king arrives, and i suddenly notice in my nobles screen that my king has become the mayor. Well that was weird, but i ignored it because the king DID have high social skills.
The facepalm is that i went to look at my count, and checked his mood, only to see "Is upset by a lessers pretentious arrangements"
*facepalm* he is pissed that the MAYOR has better rooms than he does, but the mayor is the FREAKIN KING.
I Tried to find the bug on the bug website but was unsuccessful.
This is going to end in tantrums. it always ends in tantrums.

Workaround: magma. Magma fixes everything.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joben on July 27, 2012, 01:32:11 pm
Today's facepalm. My mayor is a vampire. She's now in prison for a double child-murder. She's currently conducting a meeting with the outpost liaison from inside her cell.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on July 27, 2012, 01:38:24 pm
genned a world looking for a perpetually snow covered foresty shithole. Evidently, gold and trees don't mix with this particluar parameter set but keas stealing expensive jaguar leather armor does.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: krenshala on July 27, 2012, 03:58:43 pm
New fortress, trying some new things (don't bring tools, bring material to forge tools!) and ran into a serious facepalm moment or three.

FACE PALM #1) Founding Seven member Urist McDoctor-Smith is the first dwarf to mood, at exactly 20 dwarves in the fortress.  He grabs a tin bar ... instead of all the bizmith bronze bars the tin was supposed to help make.  I momentarily considered forbidding that bar so he'd fetch something else, but decided it might add more xfunx than I really wanted.

FACE PALM #2) Urist McDoctor-Smith is also demanding rough gems, but I haven't gotten through the two layer aquifer yet.  Of course, this shouldn't be a problem as I have wood and bone craft items ready to sell to the first caravan, which is unloading at the Depot just after he starts his mood.  Of course, the broken decides he needs to audit all the books at that point, and I didn't notice until it was too late, and the caravan starts packing to leave.  D'oh; I goofed that one!

FACE PALM #3) So, a few months go by, and I get my second moody dwarf -- my other smith, a new migrant that was better than the (now dead from melancholy) former Chief Medical Smith.  Sweet! Maybe I'll get some armor!  ** Urist McArmorsmith is demaning copper bars (*sigh*, haven't finish converting to bismith bronze yet, but check) and cut gems (FSCK! Still haven't gotten through the aquifer).  She goes stark raving mad about the time the elven caravan arrives.  Figures.

Neither moods were possession, either, so I was stoked at the possibility of either a legendary weapon or armorsmith before the first year was over.

Now I still have to deal with my migrant vampire (that could be a thousand years old, but probably isnt), finish piercing the second layer of the aquifer, find a new doctor and find a new smith.  All before things get more !!fun!! in the fortress.

Why do I think the second year will be more ... entertaining than the first was? :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mageziya on July 27, 2012, 05:49:18 pm
Quote from: Cheesoburgor on July 26, 2012, 04:28:52 pm
Quote from: Hanslanda on July 25, 2012, 08:10:12 pm
Quote from: arzzult on July 25, 2012, 07:39:15 pm
Quote from: Joben on July 25, 2012, 07:20:28 pm
Yep, same one. Though not cough up blood precicely, they would suffer total paralysis and suffocate. Some of the more hardy victims would walk around with a dizzy and with a fever for a little while first.

I remember wondering in my first fight with it why it's clothes were blocking so many stabs...I know why now...they were made out of several bins worth of material.

I forgot to mention, her weapon of choice, before i broke her arms, was a goblin bone earring. o_O

Made from the whole goblin?

I lol'd at this.


Facepalm of the day: All the artifacts in my current fortress... Are made of palm. The only useful item is a bucket. Face meet palm. And not the tree.  ::)
Hanslanda meet Arzcor the adamantine cloth sock All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. Is is decorated with adamantine cloth and elf bone. This object menaces with spikes of giant cave spider chitin, Native gold and Tower-cap. On the item is an image of socks in Phyllite. On the item is an image of Urist Leaderhammer the dwarf and dwarves in adamantine cloth. Urist Leaderhammer is surrounded by the dwarves. The artwork relates to the ascension of the dwarf Urist Leaderhammer to leadership of The Boats of Swallowing in 98. On the item is an image of Mosus Autumnstockade the forgotten beast in Phyllite.
A dwarf WILL DIE for that sock during a siege. Only this time, it's justified.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sidhien on July 27, 2012, 06:11:52 pm
First non-fatal serious injury in the fort is, unsurprisingly, the doctor.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on July 27, 2012, 07:18:31 pm
Heh. Just make everybody the doctor, patients get seen and treated much quicker in the long run. It's like the difference between 'only broker trades' and 'everybody trades', except the only thing an unskilled doctor loses is speed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mageziya on July 27, 2012, 09:25:29 pm
Sorta a Facepalm for Kobolds.

The only time when Kobolds come to my fort....is when the trade caravans arrive. Almost immediately after the "A [Race] Caravan from [civ] has arrived!" message play I almost always get the ''THIEF" alert. Good luck trying to penetrate a fortress that has a heavily armed caravan clogging the entrance. However they are smart enough to run.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PainRack on July 28, 2012, 09:20:48 am
Quote from: Joben on July 21, 2012, 11:23:40 pm
I had a lizard monster diplomat that spread some sort of disease or poison (fever/numbness --> paralysis/death) trapped in a small corridor. Diplomat or not it killed 20% of my fort without bloodying a claw. I think i posted about it a page or two back.

I'd made a pit zone above it and occasionally tossed it disarmed goblin prisoners to dispose of. Well I hadn't for a while so i qued up a bunch of them and turned my attention to something else. Without thinking about it I'd also tossed a pair of trolls into it's little corridor. And they broke down the doors.

facepalm one

Then it proceeded to wander around my fortress for a while. I assembled the military and when things started spontaneously suffocating again I gave the attack command.

My soldiers attack, but the massive pack of wardogs i've been breeding for years don't join in. They just frolic around watching the mayhem. The tame grey languars, which normally love helping the dogs tear things to pieces don't help either.

facepalm 2

The fight raged all around the fort, my soldiers getting exausted, and very slowly disabled or killed. Because it doesn't seem to actually want to fight much, but the occasional counterstrike or attack would take an arm off a dwarf. The fighting lasted for weeks and weeks. Long enough that the wounds I put on it started scarring up DURING THE FIGHT. It was too big for most attacks to go deeper than fat. (including crossbow bolts)

facepalm 3

Slowly it's injuries pile up, including but not limited to broken limbs, cracked skull and spine broken in two paces. But it's still outpacing, dodging, and occasionally kiling my dwarves... HOW?

facepalm 4

I eventually conscripted some peasants and gave them iron spears hoping one would get lucky and pierce something vital in the body. One actually hit it in the head but it only tore a tendon.

facepalm 5

So...I gave up and called back the troops. It didn't seem to care one way or the other and went back to wandering the halls bringing suffocating death to everyone.

facepalm 6

Then got down to business and its now having a nice chat with my baroness in her blood splattered office while the fort tantrums around them and the dying litter the halls.

Were there any hammerers? My hammer squad once fought a gila monster and thanks to it, my military were able to get past the imba armour bonus and knocked it unconscious. We then spent months whacking at it with every single portable weapon until it finally died......
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PainRack on July 28, 2012, 09:24:06 am
God... no.... don't possess my armourer........... I want it to have a skill gain damn it!

Out of the ten artifacts I had so far, I had only two strange moods that weren't possession. A legendary woodcrafter and a legendary gem cutter.......
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aviator CJ on July 28, 2012, 10:22:04 am
More of a 'stupid thing to say' facepalm, but I was building catwalks in the circus when I kept on getting clowns arriving. I said to myself, "why is Hell being invaded by demons?" I then realised what I had said, and facepalmed and laughed my head off simultaneously.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mageziya on July 28, 2012, 03:25:03 pm
So when trading 11k worth in crafts and crap, 3k profit is not enough. Dammit, this is not 'childish', I needed that caravan! I guess the The Strapping Trades lives up to their name.

SAVE SCUM AHOY.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Blackadder on July 28, 2012, 03:35:13 pm
This is just fantastic. I just got an immigration wave of around 50 dwarves. Half of them are children, the rest are peasants with NO skills. Except for one, whose only skill is Legendary Beekeeper.

So I've decided to begin operation mass honey production. So far I have the Guru of beekeeping, and have assigned him fourteen assistants, and I'm presently covering the surface in hives. (That sounds unpleasant).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: krenshala on July 28, 2012, 04:37:03 pm
On the bright side, Blackadder, you'll instantly know what those guys are once they reach novice in the task you assigned them too. ;)

For me, its a militia uniform facepalm today.  New fort, waiting for the first caravan to arrive after getting two wimpy migrant waves (I have 15 dwarves so far).  I take half of the second migrant wave (two dwarves) and draft them as the initial members of my militia.  I order bismuth bronze weapons, sheilds, helms and mail made to match their listed uniforms.  As soon as the weapon and shields are ready I set them to training.

Then the black bear shows up.

This wouldn't normally be a problem, except I set the militia to replace civilian clothing with their militia uniform.  This means the militia commander has a spear, shield and helm, while the other guy has only a spear and shield.  The face palm moment being -- don't have your militia dump their clothes until you've got the required items to give them some covering in combat, even if it isn't much (cloth).

The bear, of course, sliced open the soldier's leg then shook him around by the head for the time it took the militia commander to get there and run her off.  So, currently, half my military is unconscious and bleeding out from the multiple arteries in his head torn open by the bear, while the other half is chasing the bear with kill orders.  On the bright side the dwarf down is right outside the gate, the CMD is currently idle, and the expedition leader is already on the way to 'recover wounded'.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joben on July 28, 2012, 11:01:03 pm
Oh my god. My lvl 13 armorsmith just went stark raving mad from a failed strange mood.

He's the ONLY dwarf in the fort of 188 with ANY skill in that field. This is going to SUCK to fix...

I should have been training an apprentice/backup...Here's to stockpile rooms piled high with copper crap.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZestDwarf on July 28, 2012, 11:11:23 pm
So i avoided the caverns until i could have a military that could seriously kick butt. I especially wanted to wait because of all the forgotten beast messages i was getting.
So i finally get a battle hardened army of 10 dwarves that are rather candy clad (For some reason they wont equip some of the DAMN pieces even though i directly assigned everyone their armor)
I pop a hole into a cavern and move my military outside the hole to fight off any little angry monsters and feel rather confident with my military.
It was epic. roughly 6 forgotten beasts, some one after another, some two at a time. My dwarves work miracles, not taking a single hit as they slaughter them all.
Im feeling rather smug. but annoyed that the forgotten beasts keep coming and fighting my dwarves.
Finally. what im pretty sure must be the last forgotten beast comes up. Ah, simple, no poisonous blood, no bullcrap, ok.
The damn web farting peice of crap comes trundling up and sprays all my dwarves, then comes up and one shots them in the head with a claw that seemed to pass through there addy helms without registering them. *sigh*
*facepalm* there goes the epic army of elite dwarves after killing all those monsters...
thank god the king was around and had his legendary soldiers, i had them in another unit and sent them down to slap the damn thing in the face. Still... stupid cheap forgotten jerks
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xob Ludosmbax on July 28, 2012, 11:40:33 pm
New embark.  Scorching, evil biome.  Somehow all 60 barrels of booze disappear within the first month, and all of the food rots.  I suspect the demon rats had something to do with it.  I figure, no problem, I still have seeds.  I have water from the aquifer.  I can butcher the yaks if necessary (evil biome though).  The flying cats (peregrine falcons) will eventually lay some eggs.  I can recover from this.  The harpies kill one of my flying cats, so I build doors and have them sealed tight, to prevent future demon rat hunting inspired accidents.  Everyone keeps going outside into the bloody rain (no, really) probably to get a sock, and they keep getting interrupted by the harpies, and I can't find the damn thing forbid it.  I figure it's only a matter of time until a dwarf dies, so I just lock the doors entirely.  It's a constant struggle, no booze, little food.  One dwarf goes berserk.  Finally the caravan arrives.  I figure from now on, it's going to be easy mode.  I unforbid the front doors, and the caravan makes its way to the entrance.  They make it to the door and immediately turn around and leave the map. 

I think it's because the doors were not pet-passable, so their animals couldn't get through. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Togre on July 29, 2012, 02:24:31 pm
I've finally overcome my "oops, I forgot to lock the arena door and now formerly captured enemies are loose among the civilians" phase.  This time I locked the door.  I wondered why the room was not being cleaned.  I wondered why my one squad refused to chase after local wildlife when ordered but instead  said "no path found."  I wondered why a markdwarf died of thrist.  Oh.  <unlocks door>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: backora900 on July 29, 2012, 04:24:04 pm
I just can see where my fort is going. First aftifact was iron barrel. Secon was palm bucket. Now I only have to wait for artifact block so I can create legendary ashery. :D Or shall I create legendary soap maker's worshop?
Also that artifact goblin bone earring will look good on my next asher. :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on July 29, 2012, 04:48:03 pm
There are no artifact blocks. However, here are suitable materials that would make a awesome ashery. candy, perhaps.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joben on July 29, 2012, 07:38:28 pm
Down in a cavern there are two crundles standing amidst the remains of dead crundles. About 6 civilian dwarves keep running up to grab stuff from the pile of gore, getting freaked out the the live crundles (Which are not being aggressive), running away, and then deciding a minute later that they really want that stuff... rinse and repeat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: brainfreez on July 29, 2012, 07:40:19 pm
make your soap maker shop out of soap and your ashery out of ash or potash.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RLPudding on July 30, 2012, 06:17:37 am
i was wondering, why my dwarves were getting bad thoughts for walking around with tattered cloth, even though i have a clothier on duty 24/7.
i did some reading, and it turns out, that dwarves wear foreign cloth (from goblins and stuff) when it fits. and in my previous forts, i claimed all the cloth left behind from failed ambushes and co.
:D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZestDwarf on July 30, 2012, 10:39:02 am
UGH. Facepalm/ wanna slap the dwarf.
My suicidal expert miner pulls a lever to a gate close by to close the cavern off.
After pulling it to close the gate, he immediately trundles toward and onto the gate and crushes himself in the tiny space where the gate opens. -facepalm- Freaking idiot... There should be a way to slap your dwarves like the creatures in dungeon keeper.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: backora900 on July 30, 2012, 11:31:43 am
Quote from: ZestDwarf on July 30, 2012, 10:39:02 am
UGH. Facepalm/ wanna slap the dwarf.
My suicidal expert miner pulls a lever to a gate close by to close the cavern off.
After pulling it to close the gate, he immediately trundles toward and onto the gate and crushes himself in the tiny space where the gate opens. -facepalm- Freaking idiot... There should be a way to slap your dwarves like the creatures in dungeon keeper.
It looks like the gate (bridge?) did all the slapping for you. ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Seraphim342 on July 30, 2012, 01:03:21 pm
Had a good one this morning.  I was starting to lag pretty badly, and part of it I chocked up to all the useless crap I'd been accumulating.  I'd captured, disarmed and disposed of several hundred goblins, so I had plenty of goblinite for iron, silver warhammers, etc... but also several thousand pieces of rotted clothing all over my fort, because my dwarves just loved picking it up, wearing it for a week, dropping it and grabbing another, rinse repeat, etc.  Also had about 50x50 worth of refuse piles because my strategy of "release 120 war dogs on an ambush full of sword and marksgoblins" resulted in very few dead goblins and almost a thousand dog pieces flying everywhere.  So I decided to get rid of it all in true dwarf fashion with an atom smasher. 

All went well, built a little 4x4 bridge and linked it up to a lever a few squares to the north of it.  Put all my refuse and rotten clothes onto it, everybody's happy.  Took special care to make sure nobody would try to haul something onto the pile at the last second, all precautions taken.  Then I noticed that I hadn't raised the bridge beforehand.  Didn't think it would be a problem.  Oh, how wrong I was. 

Pulled the lever and my entire courtyard was blanketed by a shotgun blast of socks, bones, goblin corpses, and other objects.  I just looked at the screen stunned, mouth literally agape, for about 10 seconds before I burst out laughing so hard it hurt. The dwarf who'd pulled the lever (An expert fish dissector, oh no) more or less ceased to exist.  There was a massive smear of blood and gore that stretched out in a cone about 8 tiles long and 10 wide.  I checked the report and he'd been hit with about a dozen different things, breaking bones, even severing a few limbs before having his brain bashed in by a XXLarge Llama Wool SockXX.  Other than him, casualties were light.  One legendary miner got his arm fractured over a dozen tiles away, but that healed up fine.  The rest of the casualties were about 6 war lions I'd just trained either killed or maimed.  One got decapitated by a flying birchen war axe from 10 tiles away, which amused me.  Blood for the Blood God.

After that it was just a matter of re-dumping it all back onto the pile and this time DROPPING the bridge onto it.  Every once in a while I'll find a sock or bolt or something that I missed, sometimes multiple z-levels away, such as on top of a tower.  I've since built a partial wall around the atom smasher to prevent further incidents... and have begun designing ways to militarize it to splatter massive amounts of gobbos.  I noticed that bolts and arrows behaved as if they'd been fired, including some breaking on impact, so this could be a useful way to get rid of the crappy arrows gobbos drop now that my military's using all silver/steel bolts.  Results to follow ;p
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mageziya on July 30, 2012, 01:40:49 pm
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=114053.0
This thread is working on the weaponization of atom smashers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kelner on July 30, 2012, 03:39:36 pm
In a mature (>6 year old) fort I had regular FB intrusions from caverns. My militia was dispatching each and every one easily. After a time I got used to just selecting one or two squads of  rooks, picking the from the list, hitting ENTER and getting back to other jobs. When another came I did the same, throwing  and got back to completing my magma piston and fixing a nasty leak from obsidian caster. Then I got a purple message saying "Urist McBaddass, Killdwarf has been struck down" (Killdwarf is a title I give to legendary soldiers to recognize them, when they are off-duty and idling).

Seconds later three more dwarves die. Turns out this FB is a prase opal spider. It shoots web and is nearly invulnerable. I've ordered all my militia, sans one most experienced squad destined to make the last stand, to attack. Fortunately I've managed to swarm the beast with dwarves and war dogs so it couldn't attack too often, but still my dwarves were slowly but surely slaughtered. All attacks either glanced off or merely chipped it. 30 battle report pages later and 2 squads annihilated I was beginning to wonder whether to seal off the caverns (and with the most of my military and many civilians that happily ran to get their dead comrades' stuff) or fight till the bitter end and see my fortress consumed by the great spider. Most of my soldiers laid covered at the mercy of  in webs and the dogs that managed to subdue the beast for a short while were dying quickly.

Then came the Saviour. A bowyer drafted into militia to replace losses after last goblin siege. He killed one goblin in his life but that's it. He shot a bolt, hitting the creature in one of it's numerous legs, and was on his way to join his friends in death. With the rest of his strength he managed to load the crossbow once more and shot. The bolt hit the beast in the abdomen and, Amrok be praised, severed it neatly from upped body. He did what about 10 legendary warriors tried and failed. 30 dwarves have died but he saved the remaining 180. I am building him rooms made of gold and filled with platinum furniture. He deserved it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Seraphim342 on July 30, 2012, 04:01:53 pm
Ugh... just had another one.  Elven caravan came, so I ordered all my remaining useless trash to the depot (old socks, etc) and traded all the wood they had.  Then when I get down to cages I see... a breeding pair of Giant Tigers.  Dirt cheap, too, cost much less than even big food animals.  Bug?  Anyway, I quickly tossed all the rest of my crap into the trade  looking to get rid of it (cups, bowls, etc.  my Baroness has this annoying habit of mandating huge amounts of stone figurines and banning their export, so I have tons of random other crafts laying around).  Had a minor graphical bug which made parts of text unreadable, but I didn't make any trade items out of wood so I wasn't worried. 

I hit trade and "yadda yadda beautiful tree dwarves suck bye"

Turns out I'd accidentally tossed in ONE alder scepter that had dropped off the last elven caravan that got killed by gobbos on the way out.  I didn't have a military yet on this fortress or I would have killed them for the tigers, as all I had for war animals were dogs and regular lions, but as they were leaving an ambush started.  I got excited, watched the elves getting slaughtered and just waiting to go loot those tiger cages... when the elf carrying the cages got knocked into a river by a goblin hammerman.  Double facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gentlefish on July 30, 2012, 05:49:53 pm
Well, you can still salvage the cages.  Just build a dam.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on July 30, 2012, 09:10:42 pm
Note: A squad of uneqipped conscripts can defeat elves, but not their pack animals. Also, you can seize things from traders on the trading screen.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Seraphim342 on July 31, 2012, 09:55:49 am
I forgot that elves usually don't siege unless you offer them wood repeatedly.  Didn't feel I was ready for an elf siege for 2 animals... as far as damming the river goes, every time I've tried that in the past it's resulted in massive amounts of fun. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ptb_ptb on July 31, 2012, 12:02:01 pm
Trading with Elves.

http://img837.imageshack.us/img837/5724/elf1.png
(Once a beautiful tree ...)

Wait, what?

http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/9849/elf2k.png
(... decorated with well-crafted cedar and encircled with bands of mango wood ...)

D'oh!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: brainfreez on July 31, 2012, 03:46:12 pm
i just killed a duck in adventure mode and its corpse fell on me tearing my lower spine nervous tissue .
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on July 31, 2012, 03:47:44 pm
Quote from: brainfreez on July 31, 2012, 03:46:12 pm
i just killed a duck in adventure mode and its corpse fell on me tearing my lower spine nervous tissue .

I have to question DF and the laws of physoics. As even by DF standards things like this are rediculous.


But damn are they funny to imagine.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on July 31, 2012, 04:41:44 pm
Quote from: Seraphim342 on July 31, 2012, 09:55:49 am
I forgot that elves usually don't siege unless you offer them wood repeatedly.  Didn't feel I was ready for an elf siege for 2 animals... as far as damming the river goes, every time I've tried that in the past it's resulted in massive amounts of fun.
There are rules about this. Just wall it of from the z-level of source. If not in freezing biome, try caving in a wall right in front of where you want it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: brainfreez on July 31, 2012, 04:59:36 pm
i killed a merchant and then i picked up a bin full of crap , i was thinking to throw it at another merchant because it is so heavy and my speed dropped to 198 , then about 30 merchants and 20 animals swarmed on me , i had to wait minute until my turn . surprisingly i had only my foot injured , but it was enough to give into pain .
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZestDwarf on August 01, 2012, 01:24:12 am
Quote from: Seraphim342 on July 30, 2012, 01:03:21 pm
So I decided to get rid of it all in true dwarf fashion with an atom smasher. 
I've discovered the true dwarven fashion of disposing of refuse in my most recent fort. Refuse stockpiles in a moat. Every time it fills up i flood it with lava and incinerate all the trash. It also serves as a bad ass moat under my entrance gate. :D Either filled with the bodies of enemies or molten hot lava.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on August 01, 2012, 10:42:06 am
I just realised my civilian uniform contains leather armour and not leather armour.

...That is, (material: leather) armour and not (material: unspecified) leather armour. So now they're set to wear leather leather armour and have stopped doing Dungeon Master impressions. I'm hoping this stops them from scattering their waterskins all over the place as well -- at one point, almost half of them were lying forbidden on the floor.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wrex on August 01, 2012, 09:53:40 pm
"This is a Horse Bone bed. All craftdwarvesmanship is of the highest quality. This object menances with spikes of horse bone and brown zircon.

Adagogez, The Soaked Hole.



I am speechless.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MadocComadrin on August 02, 2012, 01:43:35 am
Well, I suppose one could imagine where the spikes fit when you lay on the bed. >:3 ... D:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: brainfreez on August 02, 2012, 04:40:36 pm
this is a adamantine figurine of dwarves , it menaces with spikes of platinum , steel , steel and adamantine.
the item has rings of adamantine , steel and adamantine.
on the item is a image of dwarves , the dwarves are labouring .another lame image of lamb and goblin , the goblin is striking down the lamb .

DAMN YOU KADOL , YOU WASTED MY LAST ADAMANTINE WAFFERS AND STEEL BARS ! DAMN YOU !!!!

i will kill his pet llama for this and i will make 10 z-level drop for him , not to kill him but cripple him and he won't get any hospital treatment .
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reudh on August 02, 2012, 05:01:58 pm
Quote from: brainfreez on August 02, 2012, 04:40:36 pm
this is a adamantine figurine of dwarves , it menaces with spikes of platinum , steel , steel and adamantine.
the item has rings of adamantine , steel and adamantine.
on the item is a image of dwarves , the dwarves are labouring .another lame image of lamb and goblin , the goblin is striking down the lamb .

DAMN YOU KADOL , YOU WASTED MY LAST ADAMANTINE WAFFERS AND STEEL BARS ! DAMN YOU !!!!

i will kill his pet llama for this and i will make 10 z-level drop for him , not to kill him but cripple him and he won't get any hospital treatment .

10z stands a 50-50 chance of killing him. If you want maiming, try 8 or 9z.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Squanto on August 02, 2012, 07:23:49 pm
I just got an artifact earring where "On the item is an image of five trillion cut gems in slate."  I thought it meant the number 5 trillion at first.  That would be cool, but I actually had to look it up in the raws to make sure trillion was a cut.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joben on August 03, 2012, 02:22:23 am
I've had a couple incidents similar to brainfreeze thought not at bad. For some reason my dwarves love taking my pig iron to decorate useless artifacts. This on a map with no iron ore and no coal or even tin. Every bit of steel I have is imported or labouriously made from purchased items and goblinite melted over charcoal fires.

I had my own littel facepalm recently when trhough my own negligence the fort vampire got loose for a bit and promptly nommed  the militia commander, a high master speardwarf, while his squad stood around and watched.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: donfuan on August 03, 2012, 12:39:49 pm
Quote from: Wrex on August 01, 2012, 09:53:40 pm
"This is a Horse Bone bed. All craftdwarvesmanship is of the highest quality. This object menances with spikes of horse bone and brown zircon.

Adagogez, The Soaked Hole.



I am speechless.

This is hilarious! It's sodomy and necrophilism in one, a true prize exhibit of dwarven perversity artistry. :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheDJ17 on August 03, 2012, 01:43:43 pm
I managed to assign iron picks to my spear dwarfs instead of iron pikes -_-
At that point I realized I should probably go to bed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: IronTomato on August 03, 2012, 03:05:49 pm
Quote from: TheDJ17 on August 03, 2012, 01:43:43 pm
I managed to assign iron picks to my spear dwarfs instead of iron pikes -_-
At that point I realized I should probably go to bed.
Time for a new signature.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hurize on August 03, 2012, 08:07:34 pm
I cried in joy when a Hoary marmot killed a goblin during a siege
Hoary marmots are amazing I though
then a group of 5 killed my marksdwarf during a fight
:Facepalm:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: brainfreez on August 04, 2012, 05:42:18 am
Quote from: Joben on August 03, 2012, 02:22:23 am
I've had a couple incidents similar to brainfreeze thought not at bad. For some reason my dwarves love taking my pig iron to decorate useless artifacts. This on a map with no iron ore and no coal or even tin. Every bit of steel I have is imported or labouriously made from purchased items and goblinite melted over charcoal fires.

I had my own littel facepalm recently when trhough my own negligence the fort vampire got loose for a bit and promptly nommed  the militia commander, a high master speardwarf, while his squad stood around and watched.

i am on a map without flux and metals , only galena , and i had to close my adamantine mine because of !!invasion!! and now Kadol McWonderfulmetalartist decides to cheer me up by making a metal figurine with a image of a lamb getting slaughtered .
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joben on August 04, 2012, 04:37:50 pm
A dust spewing forgoten beast (second on in close succession btw, #1 caused insta-necrosis of the everything, #2 seems more like minor acid burns, fingers crossed, because my best soldiesr are covered in it), squashed my perfectly nice mayor.

Before he's even put in his grave my citizens elected the resident vampire to replace him.
This creature has been locked along in a a room almost his entire stay, he only has 8 passing aquantances in a fort of 180, and he's a convicted murderer. I don't care how high his social skills are, no none knows him!

What the hell dwarfs, what the hell?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on August 04, 2012, 04:48:06 pm
Quote from: brainfreez on August 02, 2012, 04:40:36 pm
this is a adamantine figurine of dwarves , it menaces with spikes of platinum , steel , steel and adamantine.
the item has rings of adamantine , steel and adamantine.
on the item is a image of dwarves , the dwarves are labouring .another lame image of lamb and goblin , the goblin is striking down the lamb .
This is like the start of a dwarven religion our something. Bible imagery FTW.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mura on August 04, 2012, 11:44:57 pm
Losing both of my legendary miners to the same tile of magma.    :-\

Thank Armok for the dwarven caravan preventing diggor mortis.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Noobed2696 on August 05, 2012, 02:03:07 am
The lever for the aqueduct got quantumly tangled to an extra flood gate and I swear I didn't do it.  The flood gate for the well control of course.  And the backup pressure plate was already tripped so it didn't close the gate automatically when it got to 7/7.

And then of course the master mason jumped into the well and started swimming upstream.  And drowned.  An his pants washed back down towards the well.  And stopped.  On the flood gate tile.  Of course.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I only lost two dwarves.  I had a door in place and everyone was already in a warren becasue of a titan siege.  But now I lost my legendary dining hall. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mageziya on August 05, 2012, 11:36:46 am
That is Why I always use a two door airlock for ANYTHING to do with fluids (Even magma.), even if there is a floodgate. Always put doors in well areas peeps, always.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZestDwarf on August 05, 2012, 12:09:46 pm
Quote from: Noobed2696 on August 05, 2012, 02:03:07 am
The lever for the aqueduct got quantumly tangled to an extra flood gate and I swear I didn't do it.  The flood gate for the well control of course.  And the backup pressure plate was already tripped so it didn't close the gate automatically when it got to 7/7.

And then of course the master mason jumped into the well and started swimming upstream.  And drowned.  An his pants washed back down towards the well.  And stopped.  On the flood gate tile.  Of course.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I only lost two dwarves.  I had a door in place and everyone was already in a warren becasue of a titan siege.  But now I lost my legendary dining hall. :(

Sounds like your mason.... -puts on sunglasses- got caught with his pants down. -HEEYEAAAAAAAH-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Seraphim342 on August 05, 2012, 02:10:36 pm
Started a new fort.  Found out the fort was named Murderedships, and that there were elephants.  "This will not end well" I thought. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UristMcLurker on August 05, 2012, 02:49:11 pm
Now that I finally stopped lurking and actually registered, I can say that most of my facepalm moments occurred when reading this thread and realising I've been doing it all wrong. :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bigheaded on August 05, 2012, 04:53:02 pm
Had a game i was doing pretty well on, was turning away a few minor attacks and looting the corpses. Then get one particular attack of 8 goblins, kill 6 of the 8 goblins easy, then the last two went and slaughtered 30-40 dwarfs before a peasant eventually put him out his misery, i then find a fortress which can't cook cos the cooks died and everything is rotting.

Trading... no more is needed i suspect. I begun trading thinking the stupid negotiation thing was it, i was like wuttef is this? where's my stuff i ordered? still don't understand that negotiation thing, ah well, maybe another time. Started trading properly and just bought iron mostly, as i've not actually found any iron ore yet, closest i've come is tetrahedrite. Then i realised you just literally sold a few wooden iron balls and some roasts and you can take the whole caravan, very useful seeing my current area has very little wood and lazy dwarfs too lazy to cut it for some reason.


Waiting 20 minutes for my trader to go to the trade depot, to realise my trader isn't my broker. Surely everyones had that one?

Started a new map, started getting some cool fortifications together and doing pretty well spending a good few hours on it, then to realise that the entire third level is flooded and i have no form of rock WHATSOEVER, no way to build pumps and no clue of how to fix the problem.

Finding an area with a necromancer on it when i suck. So got "boned" by skeletons, didn't do too badly, but heck was too much of a pain in the arse to deal with for too little reward.


couple more from my current fortress:
annoying the dwarf caravan cos i'd knocked out my expidition leader and had not leaders, so they sat by him for ~5 months before i changed expedition leader, then they got pissed off and left. Slightly amusingly, he got knocked out making the well which was then used to give him water.

Had a fairly useful woodcrafter in my military, who chased a kea or something into a river and forgot they he couldn't swim, so i lost him. Took me ages to get the bugger out too! had enough of ghosts in my last game.

From a previous fortress, killed ALL my miners by digging so deep they were too far away from food to go back for it and died in the pit they were in, either that or i made them lose their wills to live. I sent some more dwarves to bury them somewhere, they got lazy and couldn't be assed to come back up, except one looked at the corpses and thought "not for me" and ran off back up the stairs. Left 6 dead dwarfs to haunt my fortress (which then got killed by above mentioned 8 man goblin siege)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Noobed2696 on August 05, 2012, 05:15:51 pm
Quote from: Noobed2696 on August 05, 2012, 02:03:07 am
The lever for the aqueduct got quantumly tangled to an extra flood gate and I swear I didn't do it.

I just thought... I really have no idea how that flood gate opened.  This was a new set of levers built after the well, and was in an entirely new lever room, and there was no way they could have linked that floodgate up because it was 6/7 or 7/7 water anyway.

dub tee eff.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xana55 on August 05, 2012, 08:39:24 pm
Used a goblin lasher for target practice.

He got so good at dodging that I can't possibly destroy him without lava.

He's killed 12 people single handed so far, all of them trained military dwarves. Idiot runs straight into my cage trap coated entry hall after slaughtering my military every time though so I'm stuck with him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: crew4man on August 05, 2012, 08:47:44 pm
Quote from: Mageziya on August 05, 2012, 11:36:46 am
That is Why I always use a two door airlock for ANYTHING to do with fluids (Even magma.), even if there is a floodgate. Always put doors in well areas peeps, always.

I Learned that the hard way, my friend.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RandolphCarter on August 05, 2012, 08:54:40 pm
Quote from: df-wiki
Natural or carved ramps that are adjacent to walls will collapse (disappear) if those walls are mined out. This can strand dwarves, so be careful when removing walls near those ramps.

Rest in Peace Urist McMiner...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZestDwarf on August 05, 2012, 09:03:41 pm
Quote from: xana55 on August 05, 2012, 08:39:24 pm
Used a goblin lasher for target practice.

He got so good at dodging that I can't possibly destroy him without lava.

He's killed 12 people single handed so far, all of them trained military dwarves. Idiot runs straight into my cage trap coated entry hall after slaughtering my military every time though so I'm stuck with him.

dump him down a deep pit, He cant dodge the ground. bonus points if you dump him into a deep pit then dump lava on him, even more bonus points if you had it just deep enough for him to lay injured as lava engulfed him, quadruple epic points if you dump him into the circus.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheDJ17 on August 05, 2012, 09:14:30 pm
Quote from: xana55 on August 05, 2012, 08:39:24 pm
Used a goblin lasher for target practice.

He got so good at dodging that I can't possibly destroy him without lava.

He's killed 12 people single handed so far, all of them trained military dwarves. Idiot runs straight into my cage trap coated entry hall after slaughtering my military every time though so I'm stuck with him.
Did you disarm him before you put him up against your military?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iosyn on August 06, 2012, 04:31:40 am
I recently created the most perfect water cistern a dorf could have. It had 3 floodgates that emptied onto a same-layer farm, 2 floor hatches that dumped water into a second lower set of cisterns that kept the well by the staircase at a constant level via pressure plate, constructed fortifications and wall grates to strain out foreign contaminants. All surfaces smoothed to glorious perfection.

Later, upon breaking into the first cavern layer I am stunned to find my central staircase flooding.
From above.

An immigrant fisherdorf has decided that despite ensuring the well cistern free of both Tuberculosis and turtles, the emergency dorf cistern exit may possibly have evolved something worth eating after three seasons.
He washed two legendary miners and a mason through 10Z levels of caven air. All the while with that little blue smile on his face.
/facepalm.

Yeah, I forbid doors more now.

Also, Urist McFlood was designated as a pond tile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Altaree on August 06, 2012, 11:10:57 am
Discovered a vampire.

Walled it off in a room.

Vampire gets a strange mood.

Vampire is now "Running around babbling!"

Vampires cannot die of thirst like the other crazies!

Thinking of pitting goblins in with him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xana55 on August 06, 2012, 04:08:28 pm
Quote from: TheDJ17 on August 05, 2012, 09:14:30 pm
Quote from: xana55 on August 05, 2012, 08:39:24 pm
Used a goblin lasher for target practice.

He got so good at dodging that I can't possibly destroy him without lava.

He's killed 12 people single handed so far, all of them trained military dwarves. Idiot runs straight into my cage trap coated entry hall after slaughtering my military every time though so I'm stuck with him.
Did you disarm him before you put him up against your military?

How do i disarm enemies, I've heard you can but could never figure it out?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iosyn on August 06, 2012, 04:34:41 pm
Quote from: xana55 on August 06, 2012, 04:08:28 pm
How do i disarm enemies, I've heard you can but could never figure it out?

IIRC it was d-b-d. Dump everything in the space the cage was on. Make sure to undump the cage, so that some bloody Urist doesn't just come and take the cage first leaving an armed goblin to run through your animal stockpile to shank your butcher. You can also dump them from the stocks screen as most goblin clothes are marked as worn/tattered.

A good way to train your milita is to leave your prisoners whatever pathetic rags and armour they have so they aren't immediately ground into a fine paste by masterwork wood training axes. Seriously, those woodcutters are bloody brutal. No wonder they can chop down trees with wood.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EvilBob22 on August 06, 2012, 05:14:37 pm
Another method is to pause, hide their equipment (b - d - h on the cages), and then dump the objects marked as hidden from the z -> stocks screen.  That way they still have their armor and last a little longer when the military practices on them.  Although, in this case you may want to remove this one's armor too...

Just make sure to unhide the cages afterwards (b - d - H).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joben on August 06, 2012, 05:50:14 pm
The way I do it is set mass dump and mass forbid on the full cages D-B-D and D-B-F.
Then go into the stocks screen. Everything that is marked both Forbid and Dump is something the imprisoned creatures are holding. Turn off Forbid from there on anything you want your dwarves to take away. Also unforbid and un-dump flag the cages. Then unpause.

I've never actually seen a dorf dump the cage leaving the critter but better safe than sorry. I have had them take a cage to be melted releasing the critter. (I have no tin on map so i melt imported tin cages that come my way)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mura on August 06, 2012, 07:54:23 pm
Half of my dwarfs are children. Half.

I'd start slaughtering immigrants if I didn't need the workforce.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Seraphim342 on August 06, 2012, 10:25:06 pm
Quote from: Mura on August 06, 2012, 07:54:23 pm
Half of my dwarfs are children. Half.

I'd start slaughtering immigrants if I didn't need the workforce.

Use dwarven contraception.  AKA cover your kids in magma. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on August 06, 2012, 10:58:21 pm
Facepalm moment: caused a tantrum spiral by forgetting to make new clothing after destroying all the tattered items. What ended the fort, though, was digging into the circus through a completely undefended hallway. Ten minutes later (at about 20 fps, mind) it was all over.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aviator CJ on August 06, 2012, 11:04:05 pm
Quote from: Drazinononda on August 06, 2012, 10:58:21 pm
Facepalm moment: caused a tantrum spiral by forgetting to make new clothing after destroying all the tattered items. What ended the fort, though, was digging into the circus through a completely undefended hallway. Ten minutes later (at about 20 fps, mind) it was all over.

I'm having a similar visit of the clowns as I type, though I did make an interesting discovery - my fire-breathing clowns can throw webs, which are not fireproof - so I have a bunch of !!web!!s around my fort. Just picturing fire-webs has made my day.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: donfuan on August 07, 2012, 03:27:35 am
Giving my marksdorf recruits some aiming practice a kitten somehow got into the fight:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Not bad. Not bad at all!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RavenZ on August 07, 2012, 06:13:47 am
I'm mooded by some steampunk these days so i want to make all my mechanics, gears, pipes and what not of brass... After burning through all logs makeing charcoal and burning through ores i ve got lotsa brass bars. Im now in "corner" - no mature trees on map (4:4 embark square, mostly mountains only one square of woodland), no wood logs for beds for nasty 30-ish migration wave... Food and drinks also vanished, farms yelding only few plumps - no sweet pods this season (winter) And i dont know what to do now... Damn steampunk... :D

Oh btw, what and where to change so i can make brass mechanisms? I  really really want brass mechanisms... For my brass cage traps and weapon traps
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: crazysheep on August 07, 2012, 06:40:41 am
Quote from: RavenZ on August 07, 2012, 06:13:47 am
Oh btw, what and where to change so i can make brass mechanisms? I  really really want brass mechanisms... For my brass cage traps and weapon traps
Well.. you can't, unless you feel like doing a bit of modding to add brass mechanisms into your game. Ordinarily only weapon-grade metals and alloys can be used for making mechanisms.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: brainfreez on August 07, 2012, 10:00:27 am
in my first fort , i was still learning to play so i had no well . when the winter came the river froze , in spring all of my dwarves were dehydrated and when the river unfroze all of my dwarves were running to the river to drink , then i saw one of my dwarves (Urist McThirsty) running to the other side of the river (the region that belongs to crocodiles)
, when the urist stopped to drink water , a crocodile attacked her and she fell in the water with her baby .
while the crocodile was chewing the baby the urist died of dehydration ..... while drowning in a river . -_-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist_McDrowner on August 07, 2012, 10:58:23 am
Urist McStupidPlayer: "Wait! That forgotten beast is in the cavern! I have all these gobbo prisoners! LET'S DUMP THEM IN THE CAVERN"

*dumps gobbos in cavern*

Urist McForgotten Beast "Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp."

*Goblins run to edge of map and disappear, only losing 5 to fall damage from being dropped 6 Z levels.


Urist McStupidPlayer: 0_0


"A vile force of darkness has arrived!"

Urist McStupidPlayerr: "Meh, they tried that last time, it was just 10 guys who got wasted in my cage trap"

*Looks at unit list*

*Four squads, all mounted, with four elite gobbos*

Urist McStupidPlayer: *reaction* (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31g0YE61PLQ)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mura on August 07, 2012, 01:44:45 pm
Urist McFarmer is trying to put food items in a certain barrel. Urist McFisherdwarf is trying to eat out of said barrel while doing Tarn knows what.

Cue McFarmer chasing McFisherdwarf all along the riverbank while the latter slurps plump helmets and strawberries out of a keg, and the former keeps trying to stuff plump helmets and strawberries back in.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Henrik Undrgrim on August 07, 2012, 02:39:58 pm
Had a vampire killing off Urists in the sleeping quarters. The third time I caught a break and a wit was found, the wife of the victim.After the standard interview scene with consoling but inquisitive policedorfs Urist McWidow tells the whole story and points towards the perp with the usual shock reveal because he's a family dorf with four kids.The justice system let her down though because the police used brutal tactics to illict a confession from Urist McPerp and he got off on a technicality but required hospitalisation for his wounds.(forgot to designate the cage as a jail and he got a beating instead)He did the world a favour and died from dehydration though so it seemed he got his........except vampires don't die from thirst :o

Turns out the wife invited him over.She needed a patsy for the murders.Her husband had found out about her and she killed him to keep him quiet then called over Urist McInnocent and drugged him before smearing blood on him and then started screaming.Would have got away with it too if the drugs had'nt turned up in his toxicology report (I read on dwarf fortress wiki that vampires will try to confuse the issue by blaming someone else).You could say the clue  8) was in the blood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: doublestrafe on August 08, 2012, 01:43:10 am
Meet Besmar "Toledo" Zesugil. I've been training him for a long time, and gone through a whole lot of metal. He's a Legendary +4 Weaponsmith, with 28,424 out of 29,000 for Legendary +5. Just a tiny bit more to go and he'll finally be ready for the candy!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...really? Now?

Edit: Double facepalm time.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on August 08, 2012, 02:54:30 am
And that is how you dorf. 8)  8)  8)
Not as bad as the Nethercap war hammer of Angelbane...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Noobed2696 on August 08, 2012, 03:14:21 am
More fun with water:

My main goal with my fort was to get military training down, and waste management/aquifers down.

Boy have I learned stuff.

I built a mass pit disposal with 3x2 hatches, 3 urist deep.  Next time I'll make the fortification/shooting gallery type with an atom smasher in it.

I built a water system (my first working water wheel + pumpstack + aqueduct) to flood it from the top down and pump it from the bottom back up and into the top of the aquifer.

I built an atom smasher in it after I read the wiki on them.  Only problem is that I built it so it was underneath two of the hatches, so anything dropped from them would land on top of the bridge and levitate there, even when it was down.

I also started a huge item dump and after while there were too many dwarfs in there and I needed to dump the hatches, so I did.  Like 20 dwarfs somehow ended up in there stacked on just a couple squares.  The pit has two z worth of 7/7 water in it, and at this point the pump stack isn't returning the water, to the aquifer, it's just moving it to the top of the pump stack.  So dwarfs fall in, they let go of their babys to tread water and get onto the closed off stair scaffolds.  I have to simultaneously clear the floor from the top of the scaffold and design a maintenance passage for the other side of the pump stack, a flood gate to control if it's filling the aquifer or not, and pump the water out...  When the floor tile is taken out the dwarves finally get out and all the ones that can still walk bolt for the food and ale.

Two or three lost babies, I don't think there were any other serious injuries.

and there's a dwarf stuck on top of the atom smasher bridge for almost two months with a broken everything.  I had to dig out a new scaffold to get him off of the corner of the bridge.  It took a week for someone to finally decide to pull him to the hospital after I go the path to him made.

So: Use an atom smasher, but only make it 1 Z deep and keep the door away from the edge of the pit.

Water is always good for FUN.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on August 08, 2012, 03:47:41 am
Quote from: Henrik Undrgrim on August 07, 2012, 02:39:58 pm
Had a vampire killing off Urists in the sleeping quarters. The third time I caught a break and a wit was found, the wife of the victim.After the standard interview scene with consoling but inquisitive policedorfs Urist McWidow tells the whole story and points towards the perp with the usual shock reveal because he's a family dorf with four kids.The justice system let her down though because the police used brutal tactics to illict a confession from Urist McPerp and he got off on a technicality but required hospitalisation for his wounds.(forgot to designate the cage as a jail and he got a beating instead)He did the world a favour and died from dehydration though so it seemed he got his........except vampires don't die from thirst :o

Turns out the wife invited him over.She needed a patsy for the murders.Her husband had found out about her and she killed him to keep him quiet then called over Urist McInnocent and drugged him before smearing blood on him and then started screaming.Would have got away with it too if the drugs had'nt turned up in his toxicology report (I read on dwarf fortress wiki that vampires will try to confuse the issue by blaming someone else).You could say the clue  8) was in the blood.

Next time on CSI:Boatmurdered...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haspen on August 08, 2012, 03:54:53 am
Quote from: Rockphed on August 08, 2012, 03:47:41 am
Next time on CSI:Boatmurdered...

Hey, I would watch that :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Langolier on August 08, 2012, 08:27:30 am
I'm pretty sure I've got a nasty situation brewing. I'm currently on one of those half evil/half normal embarks. Got things going pretty good, and decided to capture a Yak bull corpse in the basement just for kicks. But then during the first caravan and liason visit, apparently a couple more yak corpses decided to show up and attack the caravan, killing two Dwarves on the evil side. Between that drama and keeping the liason safe, I went back and the captured corpse is nowhere to be seen. I am scared to zoom to it on the units screen because I can almost guarantee it's about two seconds from bursting in on the dining hall and ruining somebody's lunch.

Also, in reference to Henrik Undrgrim's post
I have no experience with crime yet- are the investigations and whatnot really that in depth? Holy cow
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on August 08, 2012, 08:31:29 am
Quote from: Langolier on August 08, 2012, 08:27:30 am
I have no experience with crime yet- are the investigations and whatnot really that in depth? Holy cow
If you want them to be. You're technically allowed to convict anyone you feel like the second the crime appears in the justice screen. People can convict animals, the dead, hell, even the victim. The dwarves get upset if you do any of these, by the way, especialy the last one. However, there are often conflicting reports from justice, with the vampire accusing someone else, or no one noticing at all.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bigheaded on August 08, 2012, 12:08:16 pm
get a migrant wave, 3 are traders.



opens DFHack...

but gods, why always traders to me?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Altaree on August 08, 2012, 01:20:00 pm
(Playing Masterwork Mod)
I get notified of a siege.  Zoom to the first squad and see that is ferric elves.  I correctly set my DB's to divert to the trap/dodge corridor and go back to working in the fort.  I then notice a LOT of "interrupted by a ferric elf" messages. wtf?  It is at that point that I notice that the elves are riding giant hornet queens and they just jumped the walls!  Face, meet palm.  My front door guard of mastiffs, golems, and slade turrets holds them off as my army rushes to meet them.  Now I need to go an collect all the random ammo my archers shot into the sky.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZestDwarf on August 08, 2012, 08:02:47 pm
I wish nobles were not so damn useless. I am keeping my king and count around just because its cooler to have a king, But the problem is the asshole king keeps asking for fricken LARGE GEMS and i have to cut all my regular gems up and hope for a large one.
so i started ignoring the bastard, who asks for more of that and catapult parts (i have no use for these) every time i fulfill the request.
It was fine so far until he randomly imprisons my elite marksdwarf.
I wouldn't be bothered if ANY OF THOSE LAZY PIECE OF CRAP DWARVES WOULD HAVE GAVE HIM WATER. I even had a 4 tile stockpile in his cell for booze, but no one brought any. I check my stockpile 2000 units of booze. So he dehydrated and died and im out one important dwarf for a useless piece of crap noble and 100 other useless dwarves who didn't want to stop scratching their asses to save the guy..
Im thinking regicide and then doomsday weapon to annihilate the rest. Lazy bastards have it coming. Who the hell needs more than 50 dwarves anyway? i have 160 and even though i set the population cap more of the useless bastards keep coming.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iosyn on August 08, 2012, 09:59:47 pm
Quote from: Langolier on August 08, 2012, 08:27:30 am
I'm pretty sure I've got a nasty situation brewing. I'm currently on one of those half evil/half normal embarks. Got things going pretty good, and decided to capture a Yak bull corpse in the basement just for kicks. But then during the first caravan and liason visit, apparently a couple more yak corpses decided to show up and attack the caravan, killing two Dwarves on the evil side. Between that drama and keeping the liason safe, I went back and the captured corpse is nowhere to be seen. I am scared to zoom to it on the units screen because I can almost guarantee it's about two seconds from bursting in on the dining hall and ruining somebody's lunch.

Also, in reference to Henrik Undrgrim's post
I have no experience with crime yet- are the investigations and whatnot really that in depth? Holy cow

Might have rotted away; have a look for some Yak bull bones and skulls.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on August 09, 2012, 01:34:17 am
Note to Self:
While digging a magma dump chute, be sure to reveal the bottom tile before channeling it out.
An unrevealed square of semi-molten rock turns into an indestructible ramp when tunneled into. Stuff landing onto indestructo-ramp will not be removed from game but instead stuck there forever.
*Sus slaps Sus in the head with his right palm, bruising the muscle, shattering the skull, driving the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist_McDrowner on August 09, 2012, 02:09:49 am
Quote from: Sus on August 09, 2012, 01:34:17 am
Note to Self:
While digging a magma dump chute, be sure to reveal the bottom tile before channeling it out.
An unrevealed square of semi-molten rock turns into an indestructible ramp when tunneled into. Stuff landing onto indestructo-ramp will not be removed from game but instead stuck there forever.
*Sus slaps Sus in the head with his right palm, bruising the muscle, shattering the skull, driving the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!*

Memory edit software can take care of that no problem. DFhack's "noramp" command should take care of it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on August 09, 2012, 02:16:25 am
Quote from: Urist_McDrowner on August 09, 2012, 02:09:49 am
Quote from: Sus on August 09, 2012, 01:34:17 am
Note to Self:
While digging a magma dump chute, be sure to reveal the bottom tile before channeling it out.
An unrevealed square of semi-molten rock turns into an indestructible ramp when tunneled into. Stuff landing onto indestructo-ramp will not be removed from game but instead stuck there forever.
*Sus slaps Sus in the head with his right palm, bruising the muscle, shattering the skull, driving the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!*

Memory edit software can take care of that no problem. DFhack's "noramp" command should take care of it.
But that's cheeeating... :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist_McDrowner on August 09, 2012, 02:18:49 am
If you honestly think leaving that ramp intact will be more !!FUN!!, leave it there. I don't think it makes a difference.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Henrik Undrgrim on August 09, 2012, 04:50:41 am
Quote from: Langolier on August 08, 2012, 08:27:30 am
Also, in reference to Henrik Undrgrim's post
I have no experience with crime yet- are the investigations and whatnot really that in depth? Holy cow

Bit of story telling involved there but thats what I pieced together from the game basically.The vampire blamed another for the crime and because I was''nt aware of their ability to point the finger at someone else I killed an innocent dwarf.Next time i'll investigate a bit more carefully if there is only one witness.Should have read the wiki of sililar post re vampires before I acted.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: crazysheep on August 09, 2012, 07:20:46 am
Quote from: doublestrafe on August 08, 2012, 01:43:10 am
Meet Besmar "Toledo" Zesugil. I've been training him for a long time, and gone through a whole lot of metal. He's a Legendary +4 Weaponsmith, with 28,424 out of 29,000 for Legendary +5. Just a tiny bit more to go and he'll finally be ready for the candy!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...really? Now?

Edit: Double facepalm time.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Well, at least you have a crossbow that shoots pretty straight.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Langolier on August 09, 2012, 09:41:54 am
Quote
Bit of story telling involved there but thats what I pieced together from the game basically.The vampire blamed another for the crime and because I was''nt aware of their ability to point the finger at someone else I killed an innocent dwarf.Next time i'll investigate a bit more carefully if there is only one witness.Should have read the wiki of sililar post re vampires before I acted

Ohh ok. Well that's still more in depth than I thought it would be. This game doesn't quit with the curve balls. Then I had yet another face-palm tonight when I realized you have to export a certain amount of wealth to get the baron (My current goal) and I've been neglecting the caravans. Got a ton of goods moved to the depot, but then a peasant corpse showed up at the fort and said "I hate every single one of you", demonstrating this statement by murdering my only appraiser. SON OF A BISCUIT!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mura on August 09, 2012, 11:21:13 am
I'm getting immigrants with no skills whatsoever. None. Zip. Not even dabbling cheesemaker. And they don't have the excuse of being young, either.

To the military with 'em.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ruhn on August 09, 2012, 12:22:31 pm
Quote from: ZestDwarf on August 08, 2012, 08:02:47 pm
...I wouldn't be bothered if ANY OF THOSE LAZY PIECE OF CRAP DWARVES WOULD HAVE GAVE HIM WATER. I even had a 4 tile stockpile in his cell for booze, but no one brought any. I check my stockpile 2000 units of booze. So he dehydrated and died and ...
Was the tiny stockpile setup to pull booze from the main brewing stockpile?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SharpKris on August 09, 2012, 06:40:51 pm
once upon a very long early time like year 5 or so there was a dwarf at the for of ShieldHall his name was .... Urist mcheesemaker....
some times every once in a while a dwarf with a love for shields would be possesed by undwarfy desires to make his dreams come true and so was created The Shield of fancy Declines... to later be found in the creators dead cold hands as the new vampire arrived.... who the fuck is he!?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jesternario on August 10, 2012, 04:11:09 am
Figuring out how to make memorial slabs. I kept looking in the mason workshop instead of the craftdwarf shop.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gzoker on August 10, 2012, 07:16:37 am
After many hours of fun and weregecko hunting my adventurer met his end. I was swimming happily through a small river scaring hippos and milkfish left and right when suddenly i started drowning. Not knowing the cause i panicked, and tried to get out of the river on the north side. Somehow i couldn't, so i headed for the other side. I still couldn't get out. Then i headed back north, and i did a few laps before i finally found out that i was under a bridge(#1). Sadly i was already dead then.
After this i went to sleep, and woke up with a cool fortress idea, so i embarked and started playing. Everything was fun, and in the second wave a high master armorsmith came to the fort, so i was happy. Then with the second spring came Urist Whatshisname a weregecko child. As a firm believer of Murphy's law, I instantly zoomed to my precious armormaker. He was fine, drinking from a keg in the still.
Relieved, i unpaused the game. The weregecko child was attacking Urist McWaxWorker, so all was fine.
Fast-forwarding a year, the third spring had a similar surprise. Umci ChanneledForest the Coastal Danger has come, and where is my Armorer? Right next to her. Damn I knew it.
I couldn't do anything to save him, but pray. Umci mauled her, tore off one of her leg, broke his arms, then left.
As i was sitting there, watching my CMD carrying my dieing armormaker to the hospital, i had a strange feeling. Somehow Umci the weregecko was familiar to me. Then I remembered. She was the night creature my late adventurer was heading for. And her lair was across the continent(#2).
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Cutting short the story, McArmorsmith was patched up, then turned into a were gecko, her clothes teleported outside of her room, she got miserable, then after six therapy sessions with Expedition Leader she went berserk, and her life ended with a pick to the brain...
After this everyone became unhappy. My Expedition Leader got shouted at so many times she went melancholy(#3).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Supernerd on August 10, 2012, 04:38:34 pm
Fun fact: If an aquifer is above you and you designate it as a stairway from below, the game will not give you any damp stone warning and water'll pour.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iosyn on August 10, 2012, 10:46:30 pm
Quote from: gzoker on August 10, 2012, 07:16:37 am

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Weregeckos, bloody weregeckos everywhere.
See folks? they will hunt you down, no matter where your fort hides.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on August 11, 2012, 03:58:08 am
New fort on a world that lost three adventurers in half an hour (long {not really} story).

Building a moat, la-dee-da...

Metalsmith swims through the river-fed moat and emerges on a one-square island that does not exist. My Metalsmith is standing on 7/7 water, with nothing under him, even on the next z-layer.

My metalsmith is officially Urist McJesus.  8)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on August 11, 2012, 12:01:42 pm
Urist McJesus: I make the water into booze! Holy shit, it worked? Um... What now guys? Oh, right, right. Ahem, I tame the dragons! (http://www.cracked.com/article_18948_5-real-deleted-bible-scenes-in-which-jesus-kicks-some-ass.html)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on August 12, 2012, 12:51:33 am
I now have an Elf Merchant wandering in and out of my stone stockpile.

Elves are even S.M.R.T'er than dorfs :P


*Edit*

Ok, screw all these births!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on August 12, 2012, 01:58:28 am
Ok, another post, more of a win this time:
My first werebeast, a Werecoyote, was seen by my pet Giant Cave Spider. So... yeah.
(http://i882.photobucket.com/albums/ac21/Lolfail0009/epicgcs.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bigheaded on August 12, 2012, 05:50:08 am
Thinking the only way to view units labors/wounds etc was to go to the unit menu then press c/v? when you can just press v in the world map :/.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mageziya on August 12, 2012, 05:39:57 pm
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on August 11, 2012, 03:58:08 am
New fort on a world that lost three adventurers in half an hour (long {not really} story).

Building a moat, la-dee-da...

Metalsmith swims through the river-fed moat and emerges on a one-square island that does not exist. My Metalsmith is standing on 7/7 water, with nothing under him, even on the next z-layer.

My metalsmith is officially Urist McJesus.  8)

Ummm, how is that a face-palm?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on August 12, 2012, 05:53:22 pm
His palm to the face of the blind carp.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on August 12, 2012, 06:32:19 pm
Quote from: Mageziya on August 12, 2012, 05:39:57 pm
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on August 11, 2012, 03:58:08 am
New fort on a world that lost three adventurers in half an hour (long {not really} story).

Building a moat, la-dee-da...

Metalsmith swims through the river-fed moat and emerges on a one-square island that does not exist. My Metalsmith is standing on 7/7 water, with nothing under him, even on the next z-layer.

My metalsmith is officially Urist McJesus.  8)

Ummm, how is that a face-palm?
Overseer:"Yo, Urist, stop preaching Gospel and get back to work!"
McJesus:"But I must preach the word of God!, and I'm kinda stuck here..."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Corai on August 12, 2012, 06:34:45 pm
Quote from: misko27 on August 12, 2012, 06:32:19 pm
Quote from: Mageziya on August 12, 2012, 05:39:57 pm
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on August 11, 2012, 03:58:08 am
New fort on a world that lost three adventurers in half an hour (long {not really} story).

Building a moat, la-dee-da...

Metalsmith swims through the river-fed moat and emerges on a one-square island that does not exist. My Metalsmith is standing on 7/7 water, with nothing under him, even on the next z-layer.

My metalsmith is officially Urist McJesus.  8)

Ummm, how is that a face-palm?
Overseer:"Yo, Urist, stop preaching Gospel and get back to work!"
McJesus:"But I must preach the word of God!, and I'm kinda stuck here..."

Make a church to Armok. And trap Urist McJesus in there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mageziya on August 12, 2012, 10:29:41 pm
Quote from: Corai on August 12, 2012, 06:34:45 pm
Quote from: misko27 on August 12, 2012, 06:32:19 pm
Quote from: Mageziya on August 12, 2012, 05:39:57 pm
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on August 11, 2012, 03:58:08 am
New fort on a world that lost three adventurers in half an hour (long {not really} story).

Building a moat, la-dee-da...

Metalsmith swims through the river-fed moat and emerges on a one-square island that does not exist. My Metalsmith is standing on 7/7 water, with nothing under him, even on the next z-layer.

My metalsmith is officially Urist McJesus.  8)

Ummm, how is that a face-palm?
Overseer:"Yo, Urist, stop preaching Gospel and get back to work!"
McJesus:"But I must preach the word of God!, and I'm kinda stuck here..."

Make a church to Armok. And trap Urist McJesus in there.

Make sure to have him drink Armo's gift (The blood of a Vampire.) so that he may bring eternal shedding of Armok's favorite liquid. Also, don't forget Armok's second favorite liquid as decorations!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gbrngfol on August 12, 2012, 11:12:40 pm
My funniest facepalm moment has to be when I built a protective wall around my entrance. The dwarves had no access to the embark wagon so they all starved to death while I tried to figure out why they were hunting bats.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Langolier on August 13, 2012, 04:56:14 am
Well, yet another moment for me this evening. I finally managed to unintentionally cause a cave-in that was so large it crashed my game. I see "Urist Mcschmuck has been crushed in a cavein" followed roughly two seconds later by "Dwarf fortress.exe has stopped running". The cave-in was over my central dining hall, of course. Had to restart 3 times but it finally started working again. It's what I get for having a crappy little netbook. Amazingly only had one casualty. (But nobody cared about him so it's ok)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hommik on August 13, 2012, 07:09:32 am
I'm really new to this game but had my first face palm moment. I was preparing for migrant wave (usually seems to be 3-8 dwarves or so) and made some extra bedrooms and places for them to settle. And they did arrive. Few of them... little more than I expected. This was the third migrant wave and it had 36 DWARVES plus some animals... that is 2 times the amount  of dwarves I had at that time. Shocked me like hell.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scruffy on August 13, 2012, 08:09:56 am
Not really a facepalm but a nasty chain of events:
(I'm playing masterworks btw)
I was running a nice and prosperous 50 dwarf fort and started digging a candy cane. I got careless since it was already the third I popped open in that embark and somehow managed to accidently digg an up/down stairway instead of an up stairway. Horrifying screams come from the darkness below  The miner was one of my strongest militia members offduty and one of the initial seven (his groin was found three levels lower than the rest of his body)
So, I did what every dwarf would do and ordered the little boozelings to pull the lever and seal the place. Yet, nothing seemed to happen. Where was everyone? Yep, my preacher noble had caught the plague and spread it to almost everyone in the fort. 40 out of 50 dwarves were laying in the hospital floor suffereing from fever and praying for armok ??? Suddenly, A vile force of darkness has arrived!Luckily only war elephants. Finally I managed to get someone to seal the clowns behind the second airlock after but lost the forges. I was too late in sealing the main gate so got around 20 war elephants, elephant champions and war white widows in my fort. I had lost around 20 out of 50 dwarves by this point. (only 20 :-[ ) so naturally the mountain homes decided to "send in more peasants!" who kept the siegers busy for a monent while I managed to get my militia together and group up near the depot except for one suicidal crossbow dwarf refused to retreat and held back the whole siege in melee combat while the rest killed them from a distance. Quite a miracle that he survived the elephants but died soon after.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Blackadder on August 13, 2012, 10:01:07 am
I love it when they send decoys for the siege. That makes life so much easier. I'm still perfecting my high-speed cheesemaker/beekeeper launching system to be used for entertainment defensive purposes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mageziya on August 13, 2012, 10:01:32 am
Quote from: Hommik on August 13, 2012, 07:09:32 am
I'm really new to this game but had my first face palm moment. I was preparing for migrant wave (usually seems to be 3-8 dwarves or so) and made some extra bedrooms and places for them to settle. And they did arrive. Few of them... little more than I expected. This was the third migrant wave and it had 36 DWARVES plus some animals... that is 2 times the amount  of dwarves I had at that time. Shocked me like hell.

This tends to happen. The first two migrant waves are tiny (And guaranteed.), procuring dwarves out of thin air. THEN the third migrant wave looks at you wealth, how much you traded with the caravan, and so on to determine how many migrants to give you from historical figures. You can modify the population cap as you go along to control the waves, but if you don't, expect 50+ dwarf migrant waves late game.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Blackadder on August 13, 2012, 10:07:33 am
Quote from: Mageziya on August 13, 2012, 10:01:32 am
Quote from: Hommik on August 13, 2012, 07:09:32 am
I'm really new to this game but had my first face palm moment. I was preparing for migrant wave (usually seems to be 3-8 dwarves or so) and made some extra bedrooms and places for them to settle. And they did arrive. Few of them... little more than I expected. This was the third migrant wave and it had 36 DWARVES plus some animals... that is 2 times the amount  of dwarves I had at that time. Shocked me like hell.

This tends to happen. The first two migrant waves are tiny (And guaranteed.), procuring dwarves out of thin air. THEN the third migrant wave looks at you wealth, how much you traded with the caravan, and so on to determine how many migrants to give you from historical figures. You can modify the population cap as you go along to control the waves, but if you don't, expect 50+ dwarf migrant waves late game.

It would be amazing if one could set the population cap from the orders menu, and perhaps set immigration to dwarves with certain skills only, via a noble. Kind of like a dwarven immigration bureau.

... Then again I already have an immigration bureau at my fort. It's an equal-opportunity employer as well. We hire both alligators and giant cave spiders for our peasant disposal pits.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neekerbreeker on August 14, 2012, 12:01:58 pm
Me, about five minutes ago:  "Why is this guy so bothered by 'terrible vermin' lately?  He only hates guinea pigs, and we don't have any guinea pigs."

. . . as I scrolled through the Units screen, with Cavy Boar and Cavy Sow  Cavy Pup listed hundreds of times.  Turns out I was thinking Peccary (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peccary) rather than Cavy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caviidae).

 :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Blackadder on August 14, 2012, 01:17:51 pm
I had a standard facepalm the other day. I had a great fort going with over 70 dwarves, when I decided to carefully dig down to the adamantine layer, because I didn't have any weapons grade metals available, and needed a military. I had a volcano fort, and a particular dwarf was causing trouble at the time, so I changed his profession nickname to "Sacrifice," built a bridge over the peak of the volcano, and dumped him in, immediately revealing the adamantine deposits at the bottom of the map. (It was also fun to use the new "follow" function to observe his plummet.)

I dug an extremely long winding stair from the very top of the map to the bottom, avoiding all of the caverns, and the very FIRST adamantine block I dug up immediately opened up a passage. So I lock in my two miners using the emergency bridge I set up beforehand, and watch as all of the demons pour in from below. In an all-too-dramatic scene where my last miner runs out of the staircase, I imagined him banging his fist against the raised bridge as the demons flood in and tear him apart. I then begin building an emergency atom-smasher to release the demons and kill all of them at once, and in the middle of this, a gremlin pulls the lever for me, releasing all of the demons into the fortress.

At this point I just sat back and watched the explosions. It was all very dynamic, almost like the demons were putting on a fireworks show.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on August 15, 2012, 12:41:44 am
Lost my most recent fort to a Magma Crab (I am not good at magma-ing) and decided for my next fort I'd embark on a volcano with some hematite to get my military suited up early. So I'm Preparing Carefully and decide not to bring anything but a pick, food and drinks, cloth goods, some turkeys and all the ore and flux I can fit after that. Took out all the wooden items because the volcano is on a wooded area and I'm thinking I'll just make a training axe from the cart and all will be well.

(The fort was named "Halearmor," and at the time it seemed like a good omen.)

E get to the embark and notice an oddity in the starting configuration. My initial view is one level above the top of the magma tube, and near the middle I see three down ramps and several creatures cycling through on the one ground tile at the top of them. [k] on them, and guess what? All of my dwarves, pack animals, hens, dogs, carefully culled equipment... all sitting on the one tile. No wagon in sight.

[DFHack]# die
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sabre909 on August 15, 2012, 09:33:59 am

 Well im still rather new but enjoying this game alot. Heres one of my quickest games... Embarked in a temperate forested area. I looked around oh look snow cool as i saw my dwarves around the wagon. Short distance away i saw some green grass ill dig down there. Digging away happily designating out some rooms i have soundsense going lalala... then i hear it..... Creeeaaaak CRASH blub blub im like WTH !?!?! I go above ground to my....wagon to see the snow had melted and my geniuses had set the wagon over a frozen lake which the ice had given way and now all my embarked good were at the bottom of a depth 7 lake...... :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: untakenusername on August 15, 2012, 11:31:07 am
Back before I managed to figure out how to properly train and equip a military, a particular berserk yak cow from a trade caravan locked inside my gates decided to go right the the center of my fortress to the main (and only) set of stairwells. I created several squads out of my civilian population and had them attack, it almost immediately went unconscious but didn't manage to die. Due to it's location and berserk nature all my dwarves were cut off from the central food and booze stockpiles. After months of being beaten by dozens of dwarfs the (unconscious!) yak cow still didn't die and my entire fortress died of dehydration and starvation.

tl;dr- an unconscious cow killed my entire fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on August 15, 2012, 06:11:27 pm
Quote from: Neekerbreeker on August 14, 2012, 12:01:58 pm
Me, about five minutes ago:  "Why is this guy so bothered by 'terrible vermin' lately?  He only hates guinea pigs, and we don't have any guinea pigs."

. . . as I scrolled through the Units screen, with Cavy Boar and Cavy Sow  Cavy Pup listed hundreds of times.  Turns out I was thinking Peccary (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peccary) rather than Cavy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caviidae).
Are you running a modded game? Guinea pigs aren't on the wiki.

Also, is there a [VERMIN_HATEABLE] tag in the cavy raws? Adding it to a creature that isn't vermin doesn't throw an error, but that doesn't mean that it's doing something.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: vadia on August 15, 2012, 09:01:15 pm
a few minor seeming mistakes led to the death of 1/3 of my fort.

I forgot to close a floor hatch and had a hunter go into the cavern level. 
Of course he starts shooting the fauna -- a reacher, in fact.  As I realize what's going on, I see that the reacher has become nausiated from pain.
So I say to myself "Squad practice"
So my squad goes along with their mighty wooden weapons and bludgeon the thing to death.  So I think, "Oh boy, free lunch, wonder what Reacher tastes like [probably chicken] etc.,"
So I have somebody haul the dead reacher to the butcher shop.

And then I recieve the announcement "Urist, Wheredoyouwantthisagain stops hauling, freaked the $^#^ out because it moved."
So I send the army to kill the reacher again, and again, and eventually a citizen walks by as the reacher reanimates and urist mcshouldastayedawayfromcorpses is now urist mczombie(1)
Urists McOH#@!^ and McYoudon'tlooksogood bite it, as well as half my soldiers, creating mczombies(2-4) and one  soldier goes missing.
1/3 of the remainder need diagnosis and walk away from the table before my doc can get to them.
Just then I get the feeling that the missing soldier was sucked down by a vampire, and just as I'm about to figure out what to do about that the last straw comes
New migrants -- I (emotianally) can't deal with them at the moment. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weenog on August 15, 2012, 11:51:44 pm
So a reacher can act like its description says, as long as you encounter it in an evil biome, eh?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scruffy on August 16, 2012, 04:17:20 am
I was planning on mass pitting dozens of war elephants (masterwork) and decided that my marksdorfs needed some practice so I built a retractable bridge 4 levels below the drop point. Everything worked fine until I realized that I couldn't retract it because of the weight so I had no way of efficiently killing them. Even better, I forgot to build a door in time so now they were stuck there scaring my dwarves. Everyone is too afraid to go build that darn door and ofcourse the pit is straight next to my main stockpile and staircase :P

In the same fort I got this:
(http://i48.tinypic.com/ruw6l1.png)
Wasted two iridium wafers and it was a possession so I didn't even get a weaponsmith.
 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Blackadder on August 16, 2012, 11:13:00 am
This isn't as much of a facepalm, but I just finished building my entrance flood trap, and I wanted to test it for the first time. It worked wonderfully, but before draining it, I noticed something gold in the water. I looked at it and found the following:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I can't see a corpse yet, but I think I just accidentally drowned an invisible thief...

Update: After draining, I was unable to find a body. I'm unsure how that stuff got in the chamber however. O.o

Bonus Update: In an interesting circumstance, it appears that the kobold thief must have been crushed underneath the two-tile floodgate bridge just outside the flooding chamber, and his belongings somehow left behind, as there is no hint of a body anywhere, but the unit list makes mention of a deceased kobold.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slayerhero90 on August 16, 2012, 11:39:15 am
How did you get a gold dagger? It's not a weapon material, and if it were an artifact it would have a name.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Blackadder on August 16, 2012, 11:46:07 am
Quote from: Slayerhero90 on August 16, 2012, 11:39:15 am
How did you get a gold dagger? It's not a weapon material, and if it were an artifact it would have a name.


Not sure. I looked at it and it didn't have anything special about it. Perhaps because I'm using Masterwork?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CrzyMonkeyNinja on August 16, 2012, 05:51:22 pm
Just now I decided to play as humans to try to make Laketown from the Hobbit, so my embark was largely a lake. It so happened to be in a temperate region, so my starting wagon was on the ice in the middle of the freaking lake. So, all said, I am left with four berrles of booze, three barrles of food, no seeds, and a drowned grower. Thankfully my woodcutters were already holding their axes so I can get some timber for houses etc. This will be a fun time!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: untakenusername on August 16, 2012, 09:34:20 pm
I accidentally found out you can use the mouse to designate areas, about 30 seconds ago, after I just laid out the floor plan for a fairly elaborate and tedious level of my new fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: doublestrafe on August 17, 2012, 01:01:35 am
I just caught one of my dwarves hauling, not pushing, a wheelbarrow to a stone stockpile.

A wheelbarrow with a rock in it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on August 17, 2012, 06:07:56 am
Quote from: doublestrafe on August 17, 2012, 01:01:35 am
I just caught one of my dwarves hauling, not pushing, a wheelbarrow to a stone stockpile.

A wheelbarrow with a rock in it.
Quote from: GoombaGeek on August 15, 2012, 10:12:25 pm
Quote from: zuglar on August 15, 2012, 07:56:55 am
Urist McIdiot is painfully carrying (not guiding) up 50 z-levels of stairs a wheelbarrow with a chunk of hematite inside.

Job description:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
(http://oi45.tinypic.com/2wrhmr4.jpg)

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joben on August 17, 2012, 10:17:41 am
Lol that's a good one.

I keep catching my dwarves putting full wheelbarrows inside barrels. o_O
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mageziya on August 17, 2012, 10:54:01 am
Quote from: untakenusername on August 16, 2012, 09:34:20 pm
I accidentally found out you can use the mouse to designate areas, about 30 seconds ago, after I just laid out the floor plan for a fairly elaborate and tedious level of my new fortress.

Personally I find the mouse clunky and imprecise. I think when I first tried DF eons ago (And went on a uber hiatus after a rage quit.) I used the mouse and found it really frustrating. It tends to make difficult and precise things even more so.

Also, if you find the keyboard too slow while moving, press shift.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: aoxoa on August 17, 2012, 12:44:54 pm
Suprisingly (Well not really) I managed to destroy one fort with magma from a volcano by digging the wrong spot and forgetting liquids can move in corner directions too.

But a facepalm moment I happen to do often is wondering why my nobles room never improves despite that I smooth stone, engrave and put high expense goodies in them. I finally find out I havn't changed the size off the room to include the expansion to it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Altaree on August 17, 2012, 01:00:07 pm
Quote from: Blackadder on August 16, 2012, 11:46:07 am
Quote from: Slayerhero90 on August 16, 2012, 11:39:15 am
How did you get a gold dagger? It's not a weapon material, and if it were an artifact it would have a name.


Not sure. I looked at it and it didn't have anything special about it. Perhaps because I'm using Masterwork?
It is because you are using Masterwork.  Also, kobolds don't leave corpses, they just leave the loot bags.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joben on August 17, 2012, 05:29:42 pm
I just lost two dwarves, with several more injured, to falling worn out clothing.

I have a new micro trash pit, one square channeled out with only diagonal access so dwarves pitch stuff down into it and miasma can't get out.

I forgot to deactivate the zone before ordering the retrieval of some worthwhile items that had gotten in there.

So some hapless haulers head on down and their buddies happily pitched worn out socks and elk legs and such onto their heads.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cheesoburgor on August 17, 2012, 06:24:41 pm
as a noob i made all my dorfs seperate bedrooms since they were whining about it and guess what, vampires
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scruffy on August 17, 2012, 07:39:11 pm
Quote from: Joben on August 17, 2012, 05:29:42 pm
I just lost two dwarves, with several more injured, to falling worn out clothing.

I have a new micro trash pit, one square channeled out with only diagonal access so dwarves pitch stuff down into it and miasma can't get out.

I forgot to deactivate the zone before ordering the retrieval of some worthwhile items that had gotten in there.

So some hapless haulers head on down and their buddies happily pitched worn out socks and elk legs and such onto their heads.
Heh, I just had a similar thing happen to me. I was digging a well (30z from top to botton)  next to my main staircase and after finishing I ordered all the stones to be dumped so they wouldn't be left in the bottom of the cistern. Soon bodies started building up in the bottom.. Yep, 3 dead and 2 wounded hailers later I realized that the only available garbage dump was next to the very same pit around 20z higher.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mura on August 17, 2012, 09:19:56 pm
I tried to set up a minecart repeater in my last fortress using a novel (read: buggy) design, but after many problems trying to drop the minecart onto the track from above, finally decided to have a sacrificial dwarf go and push it instead to jumpstart the process. I then unpaused the game and busied myself checking on some crundles who were lingering near my cage traps.

The first dwarf went to go push the minecart. It accelerated as planned, reversed direction as planned, and mowed him over before he could move an inch, grievously injuring the poor sap. Then another dwarf decided to go "recover the wounded" and walked right into the high-speed minecart as it ran him over a third time, bowling her over as well. Then someone decided to go rescue her... This blossomed into thirty dwarves out of fifty dying in the accidental meatgrinder.

At least, that's how I reconstructed the scene after finding a ceiling-high pile of bodies in the minecart oscillator.  Never again shall I leave the game unattended.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nexusv on August 17, 2012, 10:04:20 pm
"Oh right, water has pressure..."
Meeting hall, workshops, and stockpiles flooded.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: thegoatgod_pan on August 18, 2012, 10:29:32 am
A child matured into adulthood just as I was setting up a fort military. On a whim I made him the commander (all others are threshers/fishermen amyway). Next thing i see he is caught up in a romance.

At 12.

His lover -lover!- is 17.  And also in the military. In fact they just started training together.

I guess making him the commander gave him a little too much confidence. Armok they grow up fast.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rvlion on August 18, 2012, 10:34:14 am
Having a dwarf in bed for months due to a broken lower spine (after he has some !fun! with a stray Lama)...

Untill he got a strange mood...

After which he suddenly stepped out of bed, stole some bars and gems and started a mysterious construction...

In the end I got a nice copper mail shirt named Dishmabseng Inolanriz, Rampartrung the Yellow Sky.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Of course the moody dwarf had himself carried back to bed to rest untill eternity.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cheesoburgor on August 18, 2012, 11:21:55 am
Quote from: Rvlion on August 18, 2012, 10:34:14 am
Having a dwarf in bed for months due to a broken lower spine (after he has some !fun! with a stray Lama)...

Untill he got a strange mood...

After which he suddenly stepped out of bed, stole some bars and gems and started a mysterious construction...

In the end I got a nice copper mail shirt named Dishmabseng Inolanriz, Rampartrung the Yellow Sky.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Of course the moody dwarf had himself carried back to bed to rest untill eternity.
ITS A MIRACLE!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Blackadder on August 18, 2012, 11:23:37 am
I just finished outfitting my military, when a few snatchers stopped by. The first one was torn apart by a serrated disc, the second was caught and later dumped into my killing pit. The last one, however, was shot nearly to death by a hunter who just happened by, but unfortunately, fell asleep after scoring only two hits, and ended up being stabbed in the gut for it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weenog on August 18, 2012, 04:31:45 pm
Quote from: Rvlion on August 18, 2012, 10:34:14 am
Having a dwarf in bed for months due to a broken lower spine (after he has some !fun! with a stray Lama)...

Untill he got a strange mood...

After which he suddenly stepped out of bed, stole some bars and gems and started a mysterious construction...

In the end I got a nice copper mail shirt named Dishmabseng Inolanriz, Rampartrung the Yellow Sky.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Of course the moody dwarf had himself carried back to bed to rest untill eternity.

Unless that was a possessed mood, I say start making plans and preparations to capture the next were-thing that turns up, and then get this guy bitten.  Set up a nice isolated forge, living quarters and dining area for him, and maybe a fountain and/or statue garden to keep him happy.  Drop materials, food, drink, and occasional new clothing in through a hole in the ceiling, and finished products out through a hole in the floor.  Either tell the other dwarves he's living cloistered for religious reasons, or tell them he's become paranoid and reclusive as the madness of genius.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Blackadder on August 18, 2012, 11:29:40 pm
(http://cdn.9trick.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/ZirconZircon-1024x99.png)

 ???

Meanwhile, in Dwarf Fortress...

Edit: And just in time, I topped my own facepalm. Elves just saved my fortress from an invasion. After my military was somehow obliterated, the elven caravan guards just murdered every last goblin without breaking a sweat.

I think I'll retire as overseer now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sir_schwick on August 19, 2012, 03:41:15 pm
Quote from: Mura on August 17, 2012, 09:19:56 pm
I tried to set up a minecart repeater in my last fortress using a novel (read: buggy) design, but after many problems trying to drop the minecart onto the track from above, finally decided to have a sacrificial dwarf go and push it instead to jumpstart the process. I then unpaused the game and busied myself checking on some crundles who were lingering near my cage traps.

The first dwarf went to go push the minecart. It accelerated as planned, reversed direction as planned, and mowed him over before he could move an inch, grievously injuring the poor sap. Then another dwarf decided to go "recover the wounded" and walked right into the high-speed minecart as it ran him over a third time, bowling her over as well. Then someone decided to go rescue her... This blossomed into thirty dwarves out of fifty dying in the accidental meatgrinder.

At least, that's how I reconstructed the scene after finding a ceiling-high pile of bodies in the minecart oscillator.  Never again shall I leave the game unattended.

You just discovered how to create an efficient Immigration Bureau!  Just seal up the "Job Assignment" track once done with an immigration wave.

-------------------------

In Masterworks I embarked with tons of galena and an Armor Savant.  This lead to a ridiculous Silver Padded Leggins export industry that allowed me to buy a Hellfire turret.  Which I deployed on top of my outdoor battlements.  One buzzard later the entire forest valley is on fire and racing toward my gates.  Actually gets in, but somehow my hens and geese are not harmed at all.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xob Ludosmbax on August 19, 2012, 06:23:06 pm
Quote from: Cheesoburgor on August 18, 2012, 11:21:55 am
Quote from: Rvlion on August 18, 2012, 10:34:14 am
Having a dwarf in bed for months due to a broken lower spine (after he has some !fun! with a stray Lama)...

Untill he got a strange mood...

After which he suddenly stepped out of bed, stole some bars and gems and started a mysterious construction...

In the end I got a nice copper mail shirt named Dishmabseng Inolanriz, Rampartrung the Yellow Sky.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Of course the moody dwarf had himself carried back to bed to rest untill eternity.
ITS A MIRACLE!!!

I had the same thing happen with a vampire.  Only, he left the hospital to feed, and had to be carried back... 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Smashness on August 19, 2012, 06:39:56 pm
Playing as a fire-breathing dwarf with wings of flesh, I decided to prey on some bandits. One shot me with a crossbow, hit me in the left wing, snapped a bone and I fell unconscious. They then proceeded to beat me to death...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dr House on August 19, 2012, 07:28:24 pm
Had a 100+ Fortress filled with friendly dwarves.
Had my first goblin siege, cool stuff, was hopping to get some experience for my mili dorfs.
Had a hallway full of stone fall traps, and decided to put the dorfs on stand on the other side of the hallway (So, the goblins would trigger the traps and be easy prey to my fully copper armoured dorfs.
Between those, was a married dorf, with a wife and kids.
So, the goblins came. I saw the first few backing off and bone and blood all over the walls. Good stoffs.
Then, a goblin pikeman charges, passes all the traps and triggers most of them, get's hit by all sorts of stone, runs up to my married dorf and sticks the Pike up my dwarf's brain.

So, the sh** and my brain fused together, and bodyslammed the fan.

His wife tantrums, and thou begins the infamous tantrum spiral.
Fortress crumbled One hour Later.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on August 19, 2012, 07:31:56 pm
Quote from: Dr House on August 19, 2012, 07:28:24 pm
Had a 100+ Fortress filled with friendly dwarves.
Had my first goblin siege, cool stuff, was hopping to get some experience for my mili dorfs.
Had a hallway full of stone fall traps, and decided to put the dorfs on stand on the other side of the hallway (So, the goblins would trigger the traps and be easy prey to my fully copper armoured dorfs.
Between those, was a married dorf, with a wife and kids.
So, the goblins came. I saw the first few backing off and bone and blood all over the walls. Good stoffs.
Then, a goblin pikeman charges, passes all the traps and triggers most of them, get's hit by all sorts of stone, runs up to my married dorf and sticks the Pike up my dwarf's brain.

So, the sh** and my brain fused together, and bodyslammed the fan.

His wife tantrums, and thou begins the infamous tantrum spiral.
Fortress crumbled One hour Later.
That, that right there, is pure malice and spite on the goblins part. I have never seen a more determined goblin in my life, or one I respect so highly. Give that goblin a slab, he deserves it for his troubles. And maybe a tomb.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: donfuan on August 20, 2012, 04:11:33 am
Quite a little time ago in one of my recent forts, a monster diplomat shows up. I think he was some sort of Giant Lizardman if i remember, with *deadly dust*. I see him and think "that'll be nothing but trouble". Well, he run's through my fort, through the dining room, the kitchen, until finally meeting my baroness in her office and nothing happens. He says farewell and leaves and i think "lucky me!".

Unfortunately, on his way out he meets a kobold thief and immediatly starts pumping out his deadly dust in a 20 tile radius, killing all my nearby lifestock and several dwarfs.

Task Manager - kill Dwarf Fortress - reload. sigh. Is that cheating? Didn't want to give that fort up then, and reclaiming is sort of messy if you had massive piles of everything lying around.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TubaDragoness on August 20, 2012, 04:12:18 am
I was using garbage dump designations to separate useable clothes and trade goods after a goblin invasion, into piles of silk/wool, plant fiber/wood, and metal. During the process, one of my water source zones somehow was activated as a garbage dump.

My well is now full of large clothes and polluted with troll blood. :T
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Supersheepman on August 20, 2012, 09:53:58 am
An ambush of 10 goblin crossbowmen and one goblin spearman toppled my 120 dwarf strong fortress. The asswipes managed, through a glitch or some feature I'm unaware of, to shoot my dwarves through a raised bridge. Needless to say, I was rather annoyed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on August 20, 2012, 01:59:57 pm
Quote from: donfuan on August 20, 2012, 04:11:33 am
Is that cheating?
Since you're asking, you probably think the answer is 'yes'. But do you care?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on August 20, 2012, 02:17:24 pm
So, I was happily moving along in my sucession fort, when a elven caravan walks right into a ambush for me. I assemble the military outside the entrance to the fort, while elves are being chased around the countryside. I am just waiting there, when I notice a hunting stonecrafter was found by a elf-chasing goblin. The golbin walks up to her and stabs her. She shoots him in the leg, appearantly managing to single-handedly scare off the ambush. She disables the one in front of her, and I send my mlitary after the retreating goblins.

The military, mostly full of crossbow conscripts, is slaughtered. Fortunately, the trained dwarves show up and defeat the goblins. One and two thirds of a sqaud remain, out of three full ones before. Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory indeed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: donfuan on August 20, 2012, 03:47:02 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on August 20, 2012, 01:59:57 pm
Quote from: donfuan on August 20, 2012, 04:11:33 am
Is that cheating?
Since you're asking, you probably think the answer is 'yes'. But do you care?

Nope. :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: thiosk on August 20, 2012, 10:51:40 pm
Charcoal doesn't come from furnace operating.  It comes from wood-burning.

AORHGLIJAOLIHJLVKMVOIWHELKMOIUNOBIHJOIJWEOLKMALKMVIOUNALIJOWEI.

*pant* *pant*

I wasted the better part of a dwarven year trying to figure out why the hell no one would kick start my metal production.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on August 20, 2012, 11:03:02 pm
Quote from: thiosk on August 20, 2012, 10:51:40 pm
Charcoal doesn't come from furnace operating.  It comes from wood-burning.

AORHGLIJAOLIHJLVKMVOIWHELKMOIUNOBIHJOIJWEOLKMALKMVIOUNALIJOWEI.

*pant* *pant*

I wasted the better part of a dwarven year trying to figure out why the hell no one would kick start my metal production.


I lol'd at your misfortune. :( Sorry about that. Also, I did the same thing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gbrngfol on August 21, 2012, 01:34:34 am
Quote from: Hanslanda on August 20, 2012, 11:03:02 pm
Quote from: thiosk on August 20, 2012, 10:51:40 pm
Charcoal doesn't come from furnace operating.  It comes from wood-burning.

AORHGLIJAOLIHJLVKMVOIWHELKMOIUNOBIHJOIJWEOLKMALKMVIOUNALIJOWEI.

*pant* *pant*

I wasted the better part of a dwarven year trying to figure out why the hell no one would kick start my metal production.


I lol'd at your misfortune. :( Sorry about that. Also, I did the same thing.
This seems to be a common moment. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 21, 2012, 01:58:35 am
I could set you guys up with my oil plants. Plants>Seeds>Paste>Oil>Coke/Fuel

No more having to worry about scavenging for trees!

^_^
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Smashness on August 21, 2012, 09:20:54 am
Quote from: gbrngfol on August 21, 2012, 01:34:34 am
Quote from: Hanslanda on August 20, 2012, 11:03:02 pm
Quote from: thiosk on August 20, 2012, 10:51:40 pm
Charcoal doesn't come from furnace operating.  It comes from wood-burning.

AORHGLIJAOLIHJLVKMVOIWHELKMOIUNOBIHJOIJWEOLKMALKMVIOUNALIJOWEI.

*pant* *pant*

I wasted the better part of a dwarven year trying to figure out why the hell no one would kick start my metal production.


I lol'd at your misfortune. :( Sorry about that. Also, I did the same thing.
This seems to be a common moment. :(
Glad I'm not alone...
What's the point of having a separate wood-burning skill? It's the same thing as furnace operating, and it's not like wood-burning helps you make campfires in adventure mode.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: therealmarauder on August 21, 2012, 09:29:29 am
Maybe it SHOULD help you build fires in Adventure Mode. Also, yeah, I have no idea. But making charcoal is a delicate process, because you have to carefully control the flow of air in, whereas with furnace operating you have to operate bellows and melt stuff in a very hot fire.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: blah_1123 on August 21, 2012, 02:40:19 pm
Set up a danger room for the first time, watched my military go in with all their war dogs, I didn't realize my mistake... And then.. "Dog McWardog, War Dog has been impaled on spikes." Oh dear... I stopped the room and let my military come out, slowly followed by a few surviving, limping, dogs...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Neekerbreeker on August 21, 2012, 03:44:09 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on August 15, 2012, 06:11:27 pm
Quote from: Neekerbreeker on August 14, 2012, 12:01:58 pm
Me, about five minutes ago:  "Why is this guy so bothered by 'terrible vermin' lately?  He only hates guinea pigs, and we don't have any guinea pigs."

. . . as I scrolled through the Units screen, with Cavy Boar and Cavy Sow  Cavy Pup listed hundreds of times.  Turns out I was thinking Peccary (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peccary) rather than Cavy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caviidae).
Are you running a modded game? Guinea pigs aren't on the wiki.



Also, is there a [VERMIN_HATEABLE] tag in the cavy raws? Adding it to a creature that isn't vermin doesn't throw an error, but that doesn't mean that it's doing something.

No, no mods.  Guinea pigs aren't on the wiki . . . exactly.  But they do redirect you to Cavy (http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2012:Cavy), where it says,
Quote
Cavies, more commonly known as guinea pigs, . . .

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weenog on August 22, 2012, 02:18:08 am
Quote from: blah_1123 on August 21, 2012, 02:40:19 pm
Set up a danger room for the first time, watched my military go in with all their war dogs, I didn't realize my mistake... And then.. "Dog McWardog, War Dog has been impaled on spikes." Oh dear... I stopped the room and let my military come out, slowly followed by a few surviving, limping, dogs...

I would give them time to recover, then send them back in, and keep on until none of those dogs are left.  War animals are nice as disposable heroes, but it's not so nice when an Axe Lord throws a tantrum or goes berserk because he just lost five beloved pets in two seconds.

War animals are better assigned to strategically placed restraints or pastures than to dwarves, IMO.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: blah_1123 on August 22, 2012, 08:34:14 am
One of my siege operators just managed to fire their baby as well as the ballista arrow out of the ballista.... Could someone explain how exactly this happened? :S
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weenog on August 22, 2012, 08:36:43 am
Quote from: blah_1123 on August 22, 2012, 08:34:14 am
One of my siege operators just managed to fire their baby as well as the ballista arrow out of the ballista.... Could someone explain how exactly this happened? :S
Yes, please do.  This needs to happen reliably.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: blah_1123 on August 22, 2012, 09:05:15 am
I've just noticed, The babies corpse managed to get lodged in the fortification, no one can get to it to bury it and theres miasma spreading now, thankfully it's where no one would go.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mageziya on August 22, 2012, 11:11:53 am
Quote from: greatorder on August 22, 2012, 07:00:00 am
face palm on behalf of the dwarves.
goblin siege, one squad (hammer goblins) with the leader riding a blind cave bear called 'dang'

I forbid EVERYTHING outside the fort, to prevent dwarves running out to claim clothes, bodies etc. and lower the bridge into my heavily trapped fortress.

'RUN OUTSIDE TO PICK UP THE FORBIDDEN ITEMS!'
*facedesk*
lost about 30 dwarves overall, goblins were routed, and I have a heavily injured goblin in a cage.

Uhh, are you sure you didn't accidentally set everything to dump instead of forbid?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on August 23, 2012, 03:01:14 pm
Quote from: Neekerbreeker on August 21, 2012, 03:44:09 pm
No, no mods.  Guinea pigs aren't on the wiki . . . exactly.  But they do redirect you to Cavy (http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2012:Cavy), where it says,
Quote
Cavies, more commonly known as guinea pigs, . . .
But the words 'guinea pig' don't appear in the raws. What kind of creature does your dwarf absolutely detest?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reese on August 23, 2012, 03:16:00 pm
so, apparently, holding shift and using er or cv in the stockpile [q] menu will automatically go to 0 or max barrels or bins, all this time Ive been doing things the hard way (and just assumed both lower and ipper case did the same thing)

*face palm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scruffy on August 23, 2012, 04:02:01 pm
Quote from: weenog on August 22, 2012, 08:36:43 am
Quote from: blah_1123 on August 22, 2012, 08:34:14 am
One of my siege operators just managed to fire their baby as well as the ballista arrow out of the ballista.... Could someone explain how exactly this happened? :S
Yes, please do.  This needs to happen reliably.
That is the dwarfiest thing I have heard in a while.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reudh on August 23, 2012, 07:20:04 pm
Quote from: Scruffy on August 23, 2012, 04:02:01 pm
Quote from: weenog on August 22, 2012, 08:36:43 am
Quote from: blah_1123 on August 22, 2012, 08:34:14 am
One of my siege operators just managed to fire their baby as well as the ballista arrow out of the ballista.... Could someone explain how exactly this happened? :S
Yes, please do.  This needs to happen reliably.
That is the dwarfiest thing I have heard in a while.

Presumably the baby decided to go all Doctor Baby Strangelove on the ballista before plummeting to its doom.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scruffy on August 23, 2012, 09:14:35 pm
I just caught a cave dragon (and 2 rutherers. A male and a female.) in my cavern traps.
Naturally I rejoiced and opened the gates to the trap corridor. After seeing the haulers starting to carry them I started doing other stuff and soon pulled the lever to seal the passage again. (Hoping to catch another cave dragon since they appeared in a group of two.)

Some time later I was planning on building the cages but noticed that they were not available. I presumed that they were still being hauled so I waited. A bit later I started wondering what was going on and checked the animals in the fort. No caged cave dragons and only the male rutherer. Then I checked Dwarf TheRapist and noticed that I had two less dwarves than I should. They seemed to disappear without a trace so I crafted their slabs to see what killed them. Yep, 2 x Urist McHauler crushed by a drawbridge.  :'( I crushed my cave dragon and the female of my rutherer breeding pair.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Berossus on August 24, 2012, 11:21:01 am
"Boss, listen, we arent complaining or anything, but these archery targets in the corner you set up 5 years ago, well... shouldnt we marksdwarves be shooting those, instead of you know, developing remarkable skills in crossbow-to-face-smashing?"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrCat on August 24, 2012, 01:31:57 pm
On the bright side, you now have the finest crossbow wieding face smashers around! My own facepalm came when a werewolf (Genesis, nt were-wolf) encountered a weapons trap, then leaped 5 squares through the air onto a tree just so he could scare the bejesusout of the dwarfs who were tryig to grb bodies and clean traps. And it took around 15 realtime minutes to shoot hm off the thing. And then we were sieged by demons.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TSTwizby on August 24, 2012, 09:08:05 pm
In relation to the most recent STNPO game (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=111289.510)

So coming in, I've got an evil biome, about two hundred zombies, a horde of goblins, and six dwarves, one of whom is immediately killed by a ghost, one of whom is injured and incapable of movement, one of whom is sad, and one of whom is sad and also locked in a 'conduct meeting' job. I turn off all hauling labors except food, refuse and burial, and set about building a secure bunker. It's about ten minutes for me to realize that the reason no one's digging is neither the lack of picks nor an excess of other jobs, but instead a military alert restricting them to a burrow. Ten minutes after that I finally figure out why no one's building the furniture I need in it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GoombaGeek on August 25, 2012, 12:01:49 am
Playing a modded Human Town, and in status, I see "Axemans, Swordsmans, Macemans, Spearmans and Crossbowmans".

TOO MANY MANS

Maybe this should get fixed, although I'm unsure how.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on August 25, 2012, 12:05:02 am
Custom profession names to fix the plurals. I feel like I've started a trend because I've noticed a rise in people playing DF humans in the last month or two.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Corai on August 25, 2012, 12:06:22 am
Quote from: Splint on August 25, 2012, 12:05:02 am
Custom profession names to fix the plurals. I feel like I've started a trend because I've noticed a rise in people playing DF humans in the last month or two.

Same, i've been asked by several people for my modbolds so they can play as them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on August 25, 2012, 12:07:41 am
Quote from: Corai on August 25, 2012, 12:06:22 am
Quote from: Splint on August 25, 2012, 12:05:02 am
Custom profession names to fix the plurals. I feel like I've started a trend because I've noticed a rise in people playing DF humans in the last month or two.

Same, i've been asked by several people for my modbolds so they can play as them.

Why play as them when playing as humans/dorfs and FIGHTING them is more fun?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on August 25, 2012, 09:45:18 am
Play as giant sponges. Which of course requires giving them spongy hands and removing [IMMOBILE].

Then turn your fort into a food factory that exports only food made from tallow. Extra points if you Prepare Carefully and name your fort "Crustycrabs" and your legendary cook "Squarepants."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Argus_Mccray on August 25, 2012, 11:43:18 am
I nearly lost a fortress a few days back to a massive fire. I was playing on a high savagery biome, so I had all kinds of weird animal people wandering in and out all the time. I put up lines of cage traps to catch goblin ambushers that kept showing up, but one group of hamstermen decided they were going to make a mad dash into the cage traps en masse. I was annoyed enough that I decided to pit the hamstermen into the volcano on my fort. Well, I failed to notice that the volcano had a ramp on its edge (from where I channeled to get my magma forges working) and the !!hamstermen!! had just enough time to climb out of the magma before dying. I learned a valuable lesson there regarding ramps. I also learned another, equally important lesson: cave moss is flammable. The !!hamstermen!! that crawled out of the magma ignited the cave moss on the floor, causing a rapidly spreading fire that ended up killing 3 dwarves. Thankfully, Urist McCoolheaded was able to get a door to seal the burning section of the fortress before it spread too far. And that's how I nearly lost a fortress to a hamsterman fire.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Darkgamma on August 26, 2012, 06:46:27 am
I've technically lost a fortress due to the fact that the dead rose and the living thrallified, and I dumped corpses beside my bone carver workshop in the centre of the fort. I'm down to two dwarves walled off and surrounded by suppresed aquifer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Supersheepman on August 26, 2012, 02:31:07 pm
I'm being attacked by some sort of water titan with a trunk and a poisonous sting. I'm not sure if I should be worried.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slayerhero90 on August 26, 2012, 02:33:46 pm
Quote from: Supersheepman on August 26, 2012, 02:31:07 pm
I'm being attacked by some sort of water titan with a trunk and a poisonous sting. I'm not sure if I should be worried.

Not at all.

A baby's punch could kill that thing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Supersheepman on August 26, 2012, 02:46:27 pm
Quote from: Slayerhero90 on August 26, 2012, 02:33:46 pm
Quote from: Supersheepman on August 26, 2012, 02:31:07 pm
I'm being attacked by some sort of water titan with a trunk and a poisonous sting. I'm not sure if I should be worried.

Not at all.

A baby's punch could kill that thing.

Actually, it's just killed two of my soldiers, a baby, and an alpaca. Every time someone hits it, it sustains major injuries, but the stinger is a bitch. It breaks bones, and that's before the poison even gets into the bloodsteam. I think marksdwarves are needed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Darkgamma on August 26, 2012, 02:50:47 pm
Or ballistas. Everything's better with ballistas.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Supersheepman on August 26, 2012, 02:53:15 pm
Quote from: Darkgamma on August 26, 2012, 02:50:47 pm
Or ballistas. Everything's better with ballistas.

Unfortunately, my uber-ballista battery that covers my entryway is under maintenance right now. The titan picked a fine time to attack, didn't it?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Darkgamma on August 26, 2012, 03:26:57 pm
Eh, that's horrible then. Wall off the ballistas and repair them, then carve out fortifications out of the wall. Ballista batteries hiding behind walls are always extra cool.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scruffy on August 26, 2012, 08:17:10 pm
Quote from: Darkgamma on August 26, 2012, 03:26:57 pm
Eh, that's horrible then. Wall off the ballistas and repair them, then carve out fortifications out of the wall. Ballista batteries hiding behind walls are always extra cool.
And try to get rid of the siege worker's eyes so they don't get scared and start screaming like little kobolds when they see an enemy moving towards the fortifications.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on August 26, 2012, 08:35:18 pm
Quote from: Scruffy on August 26, 2012, 08:17:10 pm
And try to get rid of the siege worker's eyes so they don't get scared and start screaming like little kobolds when they see an enemy moving towards the fortifications.
...
I never thought of that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: crazysheep on August 26, 2012, 08:50:05 pm
But that strategy has been around for ages, didn't you know? :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Smashness on August 26, 2012, 08:54:25 pm
Someone should go ahead and change the title of the thread to "Ballista discussion".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 26, 2012, 08:59:17 pm
Realized today that I still don't understand pumpstacks.  :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Darkgamma on August 27, 2012, 05:02:56 am
Oh, then the wiki will help you.
Magma and underground water is one of the things ballistas cannot fix XP
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on August 27, 2012, 06:02:39 am
Succession fort, Someone design for a tower of water pouring was incomplete, so I finished it for them. I also noticed that it didn't have enough power, and it would flood if started now. I fixed most of these errors, but before I finish, power comes back online, flooding a section of the fort.

Also, these guys look awful sad sitting there.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: somebody64 on August 27, 2012, 01:24:33 pm
I bet my fortress' security on a drowning trap that depended on a bridge connected to multiple pressure plates. The goblins came, they walked on the plates, nothing happened.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Darkgamma on August 27, 2012, 01:41:34 pm
You should've put ballista failsafes. And crossbowdwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: werty892 on August 27, 2012, 02:54:37 pm
-ignore-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: doublestrafe on August 27, 2012, 04:41:57 pm
Quote from: werty892 on August 27, 2012, 02:54:37 pm
-ignore-
Ha! Good one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Isualin on August 28, 2012, 06:46:46 am
i had a sustainable good fort going on and i was building more stockpiles in mid levels. i accidentally destroyed some ladders. half of my dorfs died of thirst before i figured it out(when they started to hunt vermin for food)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Darkgamma on August 28, 2012, 08:27:52 am
Good God, I've embarked in a hot enviroment with no flux and a joyous wilderness, my civilisation is named "The Strapping Machine" and I'm surrounded by three goblin forts and two dark towers.

Edit: Wonderful! No liason from the mountainhomes, but a human siege of ~60 (elite, steel-clad) idiots. I'm guarded with one ballista. Oh weh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tsuchigumo550 on August 28, 2012, 04:57:08 pm
One thing you could do is lock your siege operators in with a roomful of mod beer that gives [NOFEAR] through a reaction, then destroy the beer (if you want only the siege ops to get nofear anyway) then just try to keep them in check. And now they can aim!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on August 28, 2012, 05:52:29 pm
I tried building an execution tower+pit with spike traps to kill off goblinite and orkinite. After connecting the traps and setting a lever to repeat pulling I set an orc prisoner to be tossed from the tower.

He lands and breaks off a horn. The masterwork wooden spikes miss him completely.  He promptly gets up and runs off.  So I set the traps to be deconstructed so I can dig the pit lower...

"Urist McLegendaryMason cancels Deconstruct Spike Traps: Impaled by Wood Spikes." I forgot to stop pulling the lever...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: vadia on August 28, 2012, 08:25:08 pm
I was looking for minerals -- iron or copper for armor/weapons. 

I looked to see how the search was going and my heart skipped a fraction of a beat when I saw he had gone through one of the candy veins.

I think I missed a circus visit by 1 tile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Frog on August 28, 2012, 11:06:24 pm
My fortress is built under an ocean, so I decided to build a mechanism that takes advantage of the ocean's hydrostatic pressure to flood my entire (very long) entrance hall in a single frame.

Another feature of my entrance hall is a box built into the ceiling with a pet on a rope overlooking the hall, used to watch for ambushers. Floor grates seperate the box from the hall itself, and the only way into the box is from deep within my fortress, so the pet is completely-safe from attackers.

Anyways, after getting all of the required floodgates, safety hatches and drain covers set up and linked, I opened the floodgate blocking the passage which was to conduct water from the ocean to my entrance hall and ordered a recent immigrant with no friends to carve a fortification into the side of the ocean basin. I didn't want to lose anyone important, you see.

As expected, there was a long stall as the my computer processed hundreds of units of water rushing from the ocean into my fort in a single frame.
    Immediately afterwards, several facts were brought to my attention:

However, most of my fortress, including my miners, had been safely behind the dining room's doors when the deluge hit; I decided that savescumming was for the weak and that I would try to make the best of it.
    Then I realised that all of my food supplies, including seeds, were still in their stockpiles along with many gallons of pressurised seawater.
    Then I savescummed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr.Pylon on August 29, 2012, 03:19:56 am
I began to train up recruits using the 'caged goblin in an arena' method for the first time today, and it worked wonderfully at first! For several seasons my raw recruits, my useless migrants, my band of dabblers all whacked away at goblins with their wooden weapons, only receiving the odd bruised muscle and in one case a nasty goblin thief turned wrestler who shattered one hapless dwarf's elbow in a grapple.

So just after the last caravan came into my fort a siege shows up! Their ogres are dispatched quickly by my marksdwarves from their tower, and the goblin spearmen fell one-by-one to cage traps and my crack melee troops. Elated at the siege breaking without taking a single injury I rushed to restock my arena, but I saved the siege leader, a spearmaster, for my dining hall so that all the dwarves of Intensemirrors could chortle at his failure.

Once it was all over with and the recruits were ready a happy herbalist pulled the switch and... Urist McClothier has been struck down. What? I check my recruits but they're nowhere near the just-released goblins, where did... oh no.

In my haste to set up the arena I had linked all of my caged goblins.
Including the spearmaster's.
I hadn't dumped his equipment.
My militia was waaaaay at the other end of the fortress.

The spearmaster killed six more dwarves until a combination of a knee-shattered glassmaker and a tame cave crocodile managed to suffocate him and then rip his arms off. In the end I hadn't lost anyone important, the majority of the dead were without families and a quick scan showed only a few dwarves feeling unhappy about the incident. So with a sigh of relief I unpaused and began scrolling back to my recruits when... Urist McWhichWayDoIHoldThisSword? has been struck down. The fuck?

The recruits were slowly tromping in a circle trying to rather ineptly catch up to the four fleeing goblins, because every single one of them had had both their feet broken by punches and kicks. To make matters worse whenever one of the recruits got within range he would flail uselessly and then get another bone broken by the back peddling goblins. The Urist had wandered too close and had passed out from broken bone pain before getting his head caved in by a single stomp. A minute later my markdwarves showed up just in time to save the remaining five out of the original ten recruits from the by now probably expert striker and wrestler goblins.

From now on all recruits go in swaddled in steel, and I won't put goblins in the dining room.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xob Ludosmbax on August 30, 2012, 01:43:49 am
I haven't gotten a caravan in years due to being under constant siege.  Finally, I manage to clear out the hordes of undead and ambushers.  Only a few stragglers left which don't path to the fortress.  In the space of a few seconds, 4 large ambushes run into zombies and are unmasked, then the caravan & liason arrive between two of the squads, then a 50 strong zombie siege arrives. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: IronTomato on August 30, 2012, 06:02:21 pm
I was ordered to kill a giant in adventure mode, and i did so unscathed. I was later killed by an obese hippo.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheKaspa on August 31, 2012, 05:44:38 am
Digged the entrance hall between two water basins.
Channeled a moat that links the river two one of said ponds.
Digged a lateral tunnel to the hall and planned to install a floodgate to flood the hall in case of siege.
Channeled a moat between the ponds.
DfHack -> die
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: IronEleven on August 31, 2012, 09:14:33 am
I've been playing this game for a little over a year now.  I only just now realized that you have to manually assign ammo to your military marksdwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reudh on August 31, 2012, 09:27:59 am
In Spearbreakers, Aseaheru, a skilled hammerdwarf dehydrated to death at the bottom of the Dodge Me trap. He only had a broken arm, but evidently no one wanted to rescue him. What's more annoying was his legs weren't injured, so he could've just walked to the hospital.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Burnup on August 31, 2012, 10:05:50 am
My best adventurer in a world with all peramiters top-notched explored all 9 of my abondoned forts, had 2\3rds of his things as artifacts the other 1\3rd being candy.

later became champion of all 14 civs, pushed back all dark towers/fortresses (NO EVIL LEFT..)

all of this with no more than 8 followers at any one time.
left this world due to his job here being done (went off the edge of the map)
Went to sleep on a glacier and woke up in the form of a seal being devoured by a polar bear...
then woke up as a Gorlak bothering ratmen (got blow darted to death)
Woke up as a fire imp sealed magma pool..

Cursed to forever search for his original form

really ? no shit..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Komnos on August 31, 2012, 05:59:16 pm
A legendary miner, one of my founding seven, decides to step outside the walls for Armok knows what reason.  The instant he steps onto the atom smasher gate, he stumbles into an ambush.  At this point, if he takes about two steps north, he'll have a line of cage traps between him and the gobbos.  So naturally, he charges straight south and gets flayed by a lasher.  He and a legendary carpenter (also one of the seven!) die seconds before my military manages to arrive and convert the goblins into meat confetti.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: person012345 on September 03, 2012, 12:34:16 pm
"The forgotten beast Aztong Basencim Avuz Arel has come! A gigantic three-eyed scorpion, it has a knobby shell and it belches and croaks. Beware it's poisonous sting!"

Sounds scary right?

"The flying <<goblin-cap blowdart>> strikes the forgotten beast in the cephalothorax, chipping the chitin and bruising the muscle and bruising the brain!"

Aztong Basencim Avuz Arel Corpse

It got one-shot by a serpent-man
/facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nubshiggurath on September 03, 2012, 05:10:40 pm
Registered to post in this thread.

I had a lot of !!fun with my second functional fort.

I embarked on a great site with a volcano and I just knew I had to make myself a lava-filled moat as defense. I build up my fort, economy is going great, everyone is ecstatic because of the 3 tile waterfall that flows through the dining room and the living area, all is good. I decide it is time for the lava moat, plan a fool(and dwarf!)proof way to make it, involving a multiple z-level spanning lava tunnel that has magma-proof floodgates (with magma-proof mechanisms too) and a line of fortifications and another row of magma-proof floodgates before reaching my moat, where it then drains through fortifications into a tunnel a few z-levels lower and proceeds to exit the map via a fortified side block. I see all this and am happy. All I need to do is channel in from the top to make my moat complete.

first facepalm: designating a 3*8 area to channel is not a good idea, Urist mcminer decided to stand in the middle and dig all around. Yay, first cave-in, no harm done tho, one guy dead and a few injured, I had the forethought not to open the lava yet.

I proceded to make a huge receding bridge over the moat, cackling evilly to myself as I imagined the goblin troops dropping in and melting in my glorious moat. At this point, I start training my militia (yeah, a bit late at 80+ dorfs), and all the def I had was this bridge and a raisable one in the entrance hall. I didn't make traps because LAVA MOAT. I finally open up the sluices and let the lava fill out, everything works perfectly, nothing can harm me, right?

So the first enemy to arrive outside of kobolds and goblin thieves? Nebo, Giant (not sure if this was there) Roc. In the description it says it is bigger than dragons. And, obviously, it flies.

*facepalm*

So I seal the fort, burrow all my civilians in, and wait. The Roc proceeds with no hesitation, to chase down every tame animal I had grazing and kill them savagely. Then I think, hey, maybe my barely trained military can beat this guy. So I open all bridges, wait for Nebo to come, who by this time had gotten a last name too. He comes flying in, I set my squad on him, and...

... all goes pretty well, one hammerdwarf dies but they beat the Roc back and he has cuts on his wings and stuff. I breath a sigh of relief, well, this should be manageable. The Roc is obviously afraid, now it has flown off and is 8 z levels up in the air in a corner. A whole season passes, I make a magma forge and start beating out iron weapons, squad is positioned in the entrance, I almost forget about Nebo Aredluthi.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, he decides to go apeshit and proceeds to rush in, kill half of my militia squad, then the other half, then most of the newly-conscripted wrestler squad I send against him, then finally a conscript miner takes him out while he is surrounded by wrestlers. Bodyparts everywhere, ALL my military dead, (okay one guy is left but he lacks arms and quickly succumbs to blood loss). I look at the numbers, down 20 dwarfs. F@#@$%. Well, I still have 80 left. Then I look into dwarf therapist. EVERY DWARF IS RED. A previously unimportant piece of information clicks as I remember looking through the militia member's relationships and there was a surprising number off both offspring and cousins, also grandparents.

*facepalm* and from here on, continuous facepalms

I conscripted the peasants into my military, not knowing that those where the grandchildren of my founders, and related to almost everybody in the fort. I issue orders to make coffins asap, and hope for the best. Somehow the dwarfs don't seem to be hauling the body parts to the refuse pile, but I put that down to grief.

Then someone starts a tantrum. One of the first things they do is push another dwarf off my bridge, into the lovely lava moat. Then another, then another tantrum. It is about 15-20 tantrums in that I realize that noone has touched the corpses still and I cant make graves for some reason. I look at my worsho- at the PLACE my workshop used to be, before a tantruming dorf destroyed it. Bodyparts start to rot and another 20 tantrums have to happen before I notice that there is an option to stockpile corpses. I put it outside, the non-tantruming dwarfs start hauling out bodies, but by now my fortress has lost as much as the Roc (full name Nebo Aredluthi Takruduslud by its death) had killed, and we are down to 60 PISSED-OFF dwarfs. Miasma is everywhere, even in my legendary waterfall-dining hall, and those dwarfs not tantruming are standing in a corner, waiting for their turn. At about 40 population, I notice a tantrumming dwarf had the consideration to destroy the bridge across the moat, I missed the fall so I don't know how many died in that (all that is in the moat is ashes). This sealed the fate of the fort, because the few sane dwarfs left (oh yeah, most became stark raving mad or insane) couldn't even get rid of the miasma-inducing body parts all over the main stairs.

I muttered a curse and ordered the wall holding back the lava to be dismantled, which was done by the last sane worker, a child who managed to run away from the initial lava but then turned around about 20 tiles later and WAITED FOR IT TO ENGULF HIM.

I like to think he did that knowingly, praising the gods that freed him of this horrible life.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on September 03, 2012, 07:50:17 pm
I found the perfect embark for my planned fort - plenty of rock and even sand, something I can never find.

Aaaand then the Keas stole all of my food.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on September 03, 2012, 08:09:05 pm
Better your food than your picks and axes (if your brought them premade.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slyjoker87 on September 04, 2012, 12:42:42 am
Carving out an UP/DOWN without realizing it opened into a cavern where a flying FB was lurking. To make matters worse, the FB -which I had forgotten about - was a nasty paralysis syndrome dust spewer. I was like "WTF how did he get in?" Then I saw the up/down. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Adequate Swimmer on September 04, 2012, 06:16:42 am
Getting a first migrant wave that consisted only of children.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on September 04, 2012, 02:39:46 pm
Had my garbage dump right outside the entrance tunnel, and a necromancer raised the handful of eligible corpses and body parts. My military dispatched them easily enough, but unfortunately were "aided" by the caravan's axedwarves. The necro cascade grew strong enough to kill two of my soldiers, which instantly made every single dwarf in the fort unhappy. I've lost 1/3 of my population already and half of what's left are melancholy. Soon my fort will be populated entirely by partying children...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on September 04, 2012, 02:54:43 pm
Quote from: Drazinononda on September 04, 2012, 02:39:46 pm
Had my garbage dump right outside the entrance tunnel, and a necromancer raised the handful of eligible corpses and body parts. My military dispatched them easily enough, but unfortunately were "aided" by the caravan's axedwarves. The necro cascade grew strong enough to kill two of my soldiers, which instantly made every single dwarf in the fort unhappy. I've lost 1/3 of my population already and half of what's left are melancholy. Soon my fort will be populated entirely by partying children...
Keep them away from any ocean-borne shells.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ki11aGhost on September 04, 2012, 05:45:18 pm
Forgetting water can pass through corners just long enough to drown half my fortress with water.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hurkyl on September 05, 2012, 04:09:41 am
I was in the process of writing a post asking why my attempt to use a cave-in in a glacier biome was failing to produce water: all I got was a pillar of ice in my cistern.

Fortunately, I thought to unpause and watch for a few seconds before I hit "Post".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Adequate Swimmer on September 05, 2012, 08:18:20 am
Quote from: Hurkyl on September 05, 2012, 04:09:41 am
I was in the process of writing a post asking why my attempt to use a cave-in in a glacier biome was failing to produce water: all I got was a pillar of ice in my cistern.

Fortunately, I thought to unpause and watch for a few seconds before I hit "Post".

Was that before or after the dwarves started killing each other for the last drop of water?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nubshiggurath on September 05, 2012, 01:16:25 pm
biggest facepalm yet: read about 60 pages of this thread on my phone before finding where I can turn sigs off.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zahmir on September 05, 2012, 03:10:34 pm
Breached through a z-7 layer aquifer and was attempting to mine out some gold ore on the z-level directly below the aquifer.  I must have breached the aquifer because the bottom layer was flooded with no hope of recovery. *sigh* Back to work using a modified two-slit method; hopefully it'll be more speedy this time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkgloomie on September 06, 2012, 01:08:40 pm
Trying to train a some fisherdwarves in swimming, I made a walled off room, filled it with water via floodgate a couple z-level over it, then put a drawbridge in the middle level to throw the dwarves in.

First time I filled the room I overflew the whole level (as I forgot to conveniently put a floodgate in the room with the drawbridge, in case I forgot to retract it). Had to wait 'till the water dried up.

Second time, I forgot to retract the drawbridge (which was designed as a burrow for the fishers). Re-flooded level + scampering dwarves

Third time, I noticed that the swimming pool had upward slopes, which meant that those funny dwarves ran away as soon as they touched water! It won't kill you, I managed it that way!

I then got the hang of those miracolous things that are Screwpumps. Now I only need to find a way to empty out the by-product water room (ie, the room I use when I need to empty the swimming pool for some reason). Which means another overly complex project which could actually be easily done another way, but I'm still mastering my Overseer skills.

P.S.: Fourth time I flooded the room, and threw some fisherdwarves in for swimming, I notice one of them was female and carrying a baby. She kept looking for it, until she gave up, and started tantruming in my whole fort. .<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on September 06, 2012, 02:25:25 pm
Goblin snatcher is spotted! And failed his mission horribly. Why you ask? Well you aren't supposed the stab the kid in the face and knock the body four z-levels onto the icy ice below. Good job idiot.  ::)

On the plus side, the kid was only 2 (though sadly he was a locally born dwarf) so that's one less useless booze guzzler. Honestly I don't think kids should be allowed to drink booze until they can become proper peasents.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cheesoburgor on September 06, 2012, 02:48:20 pm
Quote from: Splint on September 06, 2012, 02:25:25 pm
Goblin snatcher is spotted! And failed his mission horribly. Why you ask? Well you aren't supposed the stab the kid in the face and knock the body four z-levels onto the icy ice below. Good job idiot.  ::)

On the plus side, the kid was only 2 (though sadly he was a locally born dwarf) so that's one less useless booze guzzler. Honestly I don't think kids should be allowed to drink booze until they can become proper peasants.
and how do you think dwarves keep their bodies functioning without alcohol?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on September 06, 2012, 03:28:17 pm
With water like they've been forced to live on for the last 6 years between caravans.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on September 06, 2012, 05:59:56 pm
Sheer force of stupidity.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on September 06, 2012, 06:09:01 pm
It doesn't help these idiots seem insistant on eating all the plants instead of the hundreds of busicuts, roasts and stews we have. Fuckin' elves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ki11aGhost on September 06, 2012, 09:39:28 pm
I know that feel bro. In my current fortress I have several dwarves that like Plump Helmet Spawn, Sweet Pod Seeds, etc, and rarely ever eat anything else. It's really a bitch in a mostly farming-based fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on September 06, 2012, 09:49:49 pm
It's gotten so bad I have to live off booze IMPORTS. And no large caravans have shown up in nearly a year and what booze we did manage to make got sucked down in less than two weeks. Plus I'm still working out the irrigation thing...

You'd think they'd eat the prepared meals we have nearly 3k of, but noooooooooo "HUR DURRR WE GON' EAT ALL DA BREWBLES."

A goblin kidnapper messed up the kidnapper part of his job description: Stabbed the kid in the face and pussed him off a sheer 4-z drop. Good job idiot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on September 06, 2012, 09:53:55 pm
Quote from: Splint on September 06, 2012, 09:49:49 pm
It's gotten so bad I have to live off booze IMPORTS. And no large caravans have shown up in nearly a year and what booze we did manage to make got sucked down in less than two weeks. Plus I'm still working out the irrigation thing...

You'd think they'd eat the prepared meals we have nearly 3k of, but noooooooooo "HUR DURRR WE GON' EAT ALL DA BREWBLES."

A goblin kidnapper messed up the kidnapper part of his job description: Stabbed the kid in the face and pussed him off a sheer 4-z drop. Good job idiot.

Please tell me you don't have plants being cookable.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on September 06, 2012, 09:56:29 pm
Nope. they just fucking ate them all.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Berossus on September 07, 2012, 03:16:15 am
I just spent an hour figuring out why the dwarven traders werent leaving...
They came in with their wagons, so the bridge is ok, the hallway is 3 tiles at every turn, why arent they leaving? Dear god, theyre going to starve, the king will sue me, he will have me strung up on that tree... in front of my gates... that wasnt there when they came... /facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gbrngfol on September 07, 2012, 04:29:56 am
TREES ARE THE SOURCE OF ALL EVIL!!!!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Berossus on September 07, 2012, 06:47:01 am
Quote from: gbrngfol on September 07, 2012, 04:29:56 am
TREES ARE THE SOURCE OF ALL EVIL!!!!!!

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0150.html
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: untakenusername on September 07, 2012, 09:49:10 am
When the dwarven caravan left before they even got to the depot and unpacked.  ???
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cheesoburgor on September 07, 2012, 04:54:08 pm
Quote from: untakenusername on September 07, 2012, 09:49:10 am
When the dwarven caravan left before they even got to the depot and unpacked.  ???
they got thirsty.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gbrngfol on September 07, 2012, 06:02:59 pm
Quote from: Berossus on September 07, 2012, 06:47:01 am
Quote from: gbrngfol on September 07, 2012, 04:29:56 am
TREES ARE THE SOURCE OF ALL EVIL!!!!!!

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0150.html

Thanks for the link. :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: person012345 on September 07, 2012, 06:06:17 pm
Quote from: Splint on September 06, 2012, 09:49:49 pm
It's gotten so bad I have to live off booze IMPORTS. And no large caravans have shown up in nearly a year and what booze we did manage to make got sucked down in less than two weeks. Plus I'm still working out the irrigation thing...

You'd think they'd eat the prepared meals we have nearly 3k of, but noooooooooo "HUR DURRR WE GON' EAT ALL DA BREWBLES."

A goblin kidnapper messed up the kidnapper part of his job description: Stabbed the kid in the face and pussed him off a sheer 4-z drop. Good job idiot.
Just a tip, pig tails are brewable but not edible.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on September 08, 2012, 10:45:32 am
So I'm getting used to Masterwork DF, it's pretty great.  First Masterwork Fort. I literally just had a small storm of goblin snatchers within our first or second year. One of them managed to lop off not only my war dog sentry's head, but also the head of my only great mason/mechanic, who was loading one of the stonefall traps at the entrance at the time. One swipe with a "Badly made rusty iron silca" and bam, I was down one of our most important dwarves.

It wasn't so much a facepalm as it was a squealing "noooooooooo".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on September 08, 2012, 11:03:47 am
Quote from: person012345 on September 07, 2012, 06:06:17 pm
Just a tip, pig tails are brewable but not edible.
As is every other underground crop bar pig tails. Sure, plump helmets are the only brewable crop you can grow in winter, but above-ground crops are all growable all year round.

Getting a greenhouse going even on a supportive biome might be tricky if anybody going outside is likely to be attacked. You can dig a moat upwards with two steps. First you dig an up stair, then channel out the tile above it. The floor tile on the surface is channelled as normal, but can't form a ramp because the stair tile won't support it. From there you can turn the area inside the moat into a greenhouse, although you can't do this with enemies in seeing distance. A temporary measure might be to create something like this:

Code: [Select]
level 0
,,,,,
,.,.,
,,,,,
,.,.,
,,,,,

level -1
#####
#<#<#
##>##
#<#<#
#####

level -2
#####
#####
##X## <--fort access
#####
#####
And then remove those up stairs. You get four tiles that are open to the air but with limited visibility, and while ranged attackers can shoot in (based on arena testing) and fliers can either wander in or use it as a shortcut should they get a ground path it's less risky than trying to set up a walled area on the surface itself. Placing it in the middle of the map will make wandering squads less likely to stumble upon it, and placing the open-air tiles so that they're surrounded by trees will cut visibility further. Something's going to find it eventually though, so get the channels covered as soon as it's feasable.

As with mood items, this is one of the things best set up in the first couple of peaceful years.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xnidus on September 08, 2012, 02:25:09 pm
FB kill three dwarfs.

One of the victims are a friend of one of my soldiers, in consequence, this type throw a tantrum, kill a dog and don't eats or drinks. He feels miserable, he hates himself, he hates the life...

And without warning, kills one comrade, nobody see this murder.

Now, the killer are sleeping in his room. He has been happy lately.  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gbrngfol on September 08, 2012, 09:49:16 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on September 08, 2012, 11:03:47 am
Quote from: person012345 on September 07, 2012, 06:06:17 pm
Just a tip, pig tails are brewable but not edible.
As is every other underground crop bar pig tails. Sure, plump helmets are the only brewable crop you can grow in winter, but above-ground crops are all growable all year round.

Getting a greenhouse going even on a supportive biome might be tricky if anybody going outside is likely to be attacked. You can dig a moat upwards with two steps. First you dig an up stair, then channel out the tile above it. The floor tile on the surface is channelled as normal, but can't form a ramp because the stair tile won't support it. From there you can turn the area inside the moat into a greenhouse, although you can't do this with enemies in seeing distance. A temporary measure might be to create something like this:

Code: [Select]
level 0
,,,,,
,.,.,
,,,,,
,.,.,
,,,,,

level -1
#####
#<#<#
##>##
#<#<#
#####

level -2
#####
#####
##X## <--fort access
#####
#####
And then remove those up stairs. You get four tiles that are open to the air but with limited visibility, and while ranged attackers can shoot in (based on arena testing) and fliers can either wander in or use it as a shortcut should they get a ground path it's less risky than trying to set up a walled area on the surface itself. Placing it in the middle of the map will make wandering squads less likely to stumble upon it, and placing the open-air tiles so that they're surrounded by trees will cut visibility further. Something's going to find it eventually though, so get the channels covered as soon as it's feasable.

As with mood items, this is one of the things best set up in the first couple of peaceful years.

An alternative that seems to work fine is channeling an area then flooring over it. The underground part will be marked Above Ground Inside Light.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bigheaded on September 09, 2012, 10:45:57 am
Quote from: Splint on September 06, 2012, 09:56:29 pm
Nope. they just fucking ate them all.

i get this sooooooooooooooo much :P

From the sounds of the response, looks like i'll be planting pig tails, not plump helmets.

But really why do dwarves decide to eat plump helmets when there's like roasts of every variety available to eat? (excluding plump helmet roast, that would be a weird complaint then!?!)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bilanthri on September 09, 2012, 03:16:35 pm
Quote from: Bigheaded on September 09, 2012, 10:45:57 am
Quote from: Splint on September 06, 2012, 09:56:29 pm
Nope. they just fucking ate them all.

i get this sooooooooooooooo much :P

From the sounds of the response, looks like i'll be planting pig tails, not plump helmets.

But really why do dwarves decide to eat plump helmets when there's like roasts of every variety available to eat? (excluding plump helmet roast, that would be a weird complaint then!?!)

I've seen this happen when too many dwarves want to eat at once. The first bunch ties up all the prepared food items and then the rest go searching for something else to shove down their craw.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ki11aGhost on September 09, 2012, 04:50:29 pm
Just spent about 10 minutes wondering why it wouldn't allow me to 'use the world as it currently exists' in world creation before realizing my caps lock was on.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Morgorin on September 09, 2012, 06:51:35 pm
I just discovered that there is a maximum embark size (without crashing).  I spent two days trying to figure out how to fix it, I thought I did something wrong with the mods.  I created a new world, twice.  I also uninstalled and re-installed.   Yep.  -_-'
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TSTwizby on September 11, 2012, 12:01:40 am
Seven Miners, all set to channel out a large rectangle. Somehow there is a cave in, all seven die from shattered skulls. From channeling out one layer down.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GalenEvil on September 11, 2012, 01:03:11 am
Quote from: Morgorin on September 09, 2012, 06:51:35 pm
I just discovered that there is a maximum embark size (without crashing).  I spent two days trying to figure out how to fix it, I thought I did something wrong with the mods.  I created a new world, twice.  I also uninstalled and re-installed.   Yep.  -_-'

What is the maximum embark size (w/o crashing)? I think the maximum I have done is a 6x6 on my beast of a computer (3.1GHz per core) and it did pretty well. I usually do 4x4 or 2x2 though, so that I can do more on small regions before regenning.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Morgorin on September 11, 2012, 01:43:44 am
I've only tried up to 5x5, which is my current map. 

EDIT:  I've only tried 5x5 and had it work. I've also tried 16x16, 16x10, etc.  Hence the facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on September 11, 2012, 02:05:08 am
I'm pretty sure the maximum size is determined by how much ram you have available.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: reality.auditor on September 11, 2012, 03:14:34 pm
Quote from: Rockphed on September 11, 2012, 02:05:08 am
I'm pretty sure the maximum size is determined by how much ram you have available.
Not exactly. DF is 32-bit app, so 2 GB. Any amount larger than than does not matter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GalenEvil on September 11, 2012, 07:08:47 pm
is there any way to wrap it up to make it LAA, to use 4GB instead, by chance? I have about 8GB just sitting around doing nothing the majority of the time :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flaede on September 11, 2012, 08:05:37 pm
Quote from: GalenEvil on September 11, 2012, 07:08:47 pm
is there any way to wrap it up to make it LAA, to use 4GB instead, by chance? I have about 8GB just sitting around doing nothing the majority of the time :(

Why yes there is! The Lazy Noob Pack has a method installed in it. And I think the same method is also a stand alone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reudh on September 11, 2012, 08:13:05 pm
There's also an unofficial "LAA patch". Causes some stability issues but as far as I know allows DF to use as much RAM as you set, up to 50% of your total.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Langolier on September 12, 2012, 02:41:31 am
Been playing this game for years. Just realized I have the same last name as the programmers.
Face palm because it took me that long to realize lol.

mfw my real parents are goblins in disguise and I was stolen as a child.
I don't have a face for that...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GalenEvil on September 12, 2012, 03:18:21 am
yaaay that means i will be able to have a fortress going with 8GB of ram!! ^_^ possibly. I wonder how the FPS would be at that much RAM usage, or if it would even matter. I dunno if DF has even reached 1GB usage on any of my computers...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Varnifane on September 12, 2012, 12:59:17 pm
Apparently diorite isn't dolomite.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kumquat on September 12, 2012, 04:20:11 pm
Quote from: GalenEvil on September 12, 2012, 03:18:21 am
yaaay that means i will be able to have a fortress going with 8GB of ram!! ^_^ possibly. I wonder how the FPS would be at that much RAM usage, or if it would even matter. I dunno if DF has even reached 1GB usage on any of my computers...

32bit apps with LAA can go only up to about 3GB. 32bits is still only 4GB, just like a 6-digit number can only go up to million, and Windows still reserves a bunch of that for various OS stuff.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: drivec on September 12, 2012, 07:41:03 pm
i just turned off weather temp in init did a max embark size.


it took while but it loaded. it was useing 1.6gb of memory. when i unpaused it was pretty much unplayable. iam still on ddr2 ram which isnt near as good at ddr3.

id assume laa does not help as much as people would believe
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on September 13, 2012, 03:00:09 am
Quote from: drivec on September 12, 2012, 07:41:03 pm
i just turned off weather temp in init did a max embark size.


it took while but it loaded. it was useing 1.6gb of memory. when i unpaused it was pretty much unplayable. iam still on ddr2 ram which isnt near as good at ddr3.

id assume laa does not help as much as people would believe

Actually, it was unplayable because max embark size is goddamn crazy. Nothing short of a computer handbuilt out of the most utterly perfect components developed in a hundred years time will run a 16x16 DF embark at a speed approaching something pleasant to start on.



My latest facepalm? Building a wonderful minecart system - then forgetting to attach it properly for about an in-game year. Couldn't work out why all of my haulers were walking past this perfectly good railway to lug half-ton boulders up ten flights of stairs...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: reality.auditor on September 14, 2012, 09:23:10 am
Quote from: drivec on September 12, 2012, 07:41:03 pm
id assume laa does not help as much as people would believe
LAA helps with memory only. It will not make your program faster.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thorzog on September 16, 2012, 10:21:47 pm
Whoa, when did they reopen this? And when did this topic become something else than a endless series of puns?

Edit: Sorry I just read the first post and realized that this was started with something else in mind and maybe a tribute to the original Face Palm thread (sorry I don't have a link anymore to that epic thread).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bigheaded on September 17, 2012, 03:06:52 pm
Quote from: Thorzog on September 16, 2012, 10:21:47 pm
Whoa, when did they reopen this? And when did this topic become something else than a endless series of puns?

Edit: Sorry I just read the first post and realized that this was started with something else in mind and maybe a tribute to the original Face Palm thread (sorry I don't have a link anymore to that epic thread).

i like how this is also a facepalm moment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EvilFuzzy9 on September 18, 2012, 08:58:44 am
I was constructing an above-ground hall on top of my fort when, due to a bit of careless deconstruction, I caused a cave in that pierced two z-levels to hit the bed of one of my dorfs, who was apparently sleeping in it at the time. He got smashed under three granite boulders and his bed was destroyed. He survived, but he lost his ability to stand and can't really grasp things any more.

The thing is, I didn't actually notice this until quite a bit later when I was preparing to pave the hall's floor and noticed an open space in the ground and followed it down to the dorf's 1x1 bedroom, which was splattered with his blood.

I am not good at micromanaging.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on September 21, 2012, 02:19:57 am
Brand new fort in its second year that just hit the third cavern layer...

Raw spoilerite!  Praise the miners!

"Oooh, lets dig some, it won't have its stick so close to the top, right?"

*begins to mine Spoilerite.*

An elven caravan from SomethingICannotPronounce has arrived.

Queue Uninvited Guest one.  Right on top of a miner who decided to take the long way around the cavern pool.  Facepalm 1.

About a minute later.

Uninvited Guest two, uncovered by the same dwarf who is now running in fear in some random direction as poison melts his skin off.

One more minute.  At this point, I'm not being careful with the spoilerite and just trying to get what is exposed in the cavern out of the grou--

*Horrifying screams come from the darkness below.* Facepalm 2.

Insert Uninvited Guest three, less than ten seconds after that.  Facepalm 3

Oh s***

Much scrambling and flailing was had to try to put a floor over the shaft, with no luck.  The ten military dwarves didn't stand a chance.  Uninvited guests and guests from below come pouring out of the shaft, and much carnage is had.  The previously bland shale walls are now a beautiful red.   Facepalm 4 & 5.

And then there is one last dwarf left alive, with guests from below closing from every direction...

*some migrants have arrived.*

*facepalm 6*

Death count:

Dwarves: 95
Uninvited guests: 1
Guests from Below: 6
Cats: 16
War dogs: 8
Kittens: 5
Sheep: 7
Elves: 3
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gbrngfol on September 21, 2012, 05:01:24 am
Latest facepalm I forgot that war rabbits are still grazers. I positioned them all over my CDL* and they prompltly starved to death.

*Cavern Defense Level.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on September 21, 2012, 10:03:06 pm
I managed to break my DAS while S'ing the A's of D's.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: thiosk on September 25, 2012, 03:02:40 pm
Trolls can wreck the locked hatch covers that keep forgotten beasts off the surface.

Whoops
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: decev on September 25, 2012, 03:03:58 pm
A giant cave spider attacked and sprayed webs all over the place. He spent the whole time trying to chomp a dwarf wearing an iron helmet. I lol'd. Five dwarves got trapped in cages though due to the webs. I constructed the cages and linked them all to a lever, and then went to sleep.

A few days later I have forgotten ALL about the giant cave spider incident. I don't realize what's happened until I get the third or fourth dwarf that's been missing for a week.

*Face Palm* You win this time, giant cave spider. 5 casualties that you'll never get credit for.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DiezIrae on September 26, 2012, 12:01:48 pm
Realizing that my expedition leader was bitten by a Werechameleon... first he killed his wife... then his child (it was a baby)... then he bit two others and I just thought, what should I do now?
Well, I hit my head against the keyboard...
And managed to designate my emergency cave in... the last tile that held the ceiling in place, in the end only the leader was left, not even the dogs survived.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on September 26, 2012, 12:05:51 pm
>Legendary soldier gets hurt, but can walk to hospital and proceeds to do so.
>>Legendary soldier dies not waiting for rescue, but because hatch was accidently relocked.
>>>Assume he was abducted by something in the hospital.
>>>>Notice miasma near where said soldier was injured. Find him dead on the stairs up.
>>>>>*Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on September 27, 2012, 04:19:07 pm
I was wondering why there was always some vomit on the food stockpiles by the kitchen in AnnualHate.  I realized while watching the cook grind meat to make sausage (masterwork mod) that dwarves who were nearby got nauseous from the spectacle...even the cook, who seemed to be vomiting into the food while he worked...I decided to put a door between the kitchen and the food storage.

/facepalm. Who could watch a cook grind goblin guts into sausage for 3 days straight and not get nauseous?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Euld on September 28, 2012, 02:06:46 am
Flying Kea men were stealing my doctor's masterwork rock toys, which eventually drove him to tantrum.  He killed the fortress leader and smashed the trade depot, threw some stuff around, and seemed to calm down.  Then I accidently dropped some dwarfs down some flights of stairs due to deconstruction.  Cue tantrum spiral, wiping out the rest of my fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on September 28, 2012, 02:49:20 am
Quote from: Euld on September 28, 2012, 02:06:46 am
Flying Kea men were stealing my doctor's masterwork rock toys, which eventually drove him to tantrum.  He killed the fortress leader and smashed the trade depot, threw some stuff around, and seemed to calm down.  Then I accidently dropped some dwarfs down some flights of stairs due to deconstruction.  Cue tantrum spiral, wiping out the rest of my fortress.
Dwarf Fortress in a nutshell.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Exitstrategy on September 28, 2012, 01:42:21 pm
I'm still really new to the game, which was apparent when I dug into a cavern. I set up a defensive line in the tunnel leading to the cavern, figuring I could seal it off if I ran into trouble. I was mining out some gems when I got attacked by a blind cave ogre and it's buddy. The ogre killed a fisherdwarf, so I figured 'an eye for an eye'. these two ogres proceeded to beat my military to death. I try calling them back, but they keep getting interrupted by the ogres, so I go to seal the entrance to the cave and cut my losses.

The problem is, I was so busy micromanaging the miner and fisherdwarves (and my mechanic who kept hauling when I turned it off) in the cave that I forgot to check up on the constructions, which were never built. I forgot to designate a new mechanic after my other one got trapped in the cavern. The ogre's proceed to wander into my bedroom area and kill every dwarf within sight (one of whom ended up with a full title to her name). The last Dwarf standing is my manager. The titled Ogre chases him down into the cavern, beats him into submission and walks away, leaving my noble for dead. He lays there, comatose for a full winter and half of spring, until a migrant wave arrives.

The migrant wave has some fairly skilled combat dwarves (primarily 2 marksdwarves and an axedwarf). They are immediately drafted to wipe out the two ogres, who seem to have moved into my fortress. They charge against the titled ogre, who puts up strong opposition at first. Finally a good shot lodges into her heart and the battle turns, eventually felling the bitch. The other ogre turns out to be a challenge for the military, but they're holding an even battle and the ogre is still fairly tired from his last rampage. Suddenly a flock of Elk Birds arrives from the caverns, flanking my military and saving the ogre (I did nothing to antagonize these birds). My military falls before I have a chance to send in backup.

I rage, and seal the bedroom floor, circumventing the bedrooms and abandoning the area and items there rather than lose more dwarves. Life continues on, with some very miserable dwarves. Cue tantrum spiral. The migrant wave gave me 24 new dwarves, and the battle killed 4, leaving me with 20 working dwarves and one ex-manager who somehow wouldn't die. Tantrum spiral kills all but 8 dwarves, leaving me to reassign jobs so the Fortress can sustain itself until the next migrant wave. Just when I think I'm ok, I accidentally break ground into a new cavern, pissing off a cave spider who decides these dwarves must be sacrificed. It webs every dwarf I have left, bringing life to a standstill. It then systematically tears apart each dwarf piece by piece until there is nothing but partial corpses, body parts, and enough dwarven blood to sate Armok for the day. All because I forgot to assign a new mechanic.  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: D34dlock on September 28, 2012, 02:18:33 pm
Quote from: Niccolo on September 13, 2012, 03:00:09 am

Actually, it was unplayable because max embark size is goddamn crazy. Nothing short of a computer handbuilt out of the most utterly perfect components developed in a hundred years time will run a 16x16 DF embark at a speed approaching something pleasant to start on.

3 years ago when I bought this comp I was able to play that size. It was ~34_08 that that changed to 10 by 10. Now days I'm limited to 8 by 8. I still have no lag except on season change. My comp is a then cheap ~655$ Asus 4 gig single core with a cheap ~50 dollar graphics card built in. I guess hardware could make a big difference. Most comps are Multi-core. Muti-core comps divide their power between their cores. This game is single threaded so only one of your comps cores can do anything with this game at a time.

Now to make you hate me.

As I type this post I've realized I have 18 tabs open between 3 window. 5 are open on Youtube vids with 2 others open to podcast sites, 2 are open on facebook games, & the rest are in this window, Forums/art sites/everything else. I love this comp & love having no lag with all that going on. & I play DF with all that going on. Normally it's only 12 tabs open.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DiezIrae on September 28, 2012, 02:47:00 pm
Quote from: D34dlock on September 28, 2012, 02:18:33 pm
... 2 are open on facebook games...

Heretic! The Facebook games are nothing but little copies of the mighty Toad's work! Down with the browser games!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on September 28, 2012, 08:40:11 pm
Quote from: D34dlock on September 28, 2012, 02:18:33 pm
3 years ago when I bought this comp I was able to play that size. It was ~34_08 that that changed to 10 by 10. Now days I'm limited to 8 by 8. I still have no lag except on season change. My comp is a then cheap ~655$ Asus 4 gig single core with a cheap ~50 dollar graphics card built in. I guess hardware could make a big difference. Most comps are Multi-core. Muti-core comps divide their power between their cores. This game is single threaded so only one of your comps cores can do anything with this game at a time.

Now to make you hate me.

As I type this post I've realized I have 18 tabs open between 3 window. 5 are open on Youtube vids with 2 others open to podcast sites, 2 are open on facebook games, & the rest are in this window, Forums/art sites/everything else. I love this comp & love having no lag with all that going on. & I play DF with all that going on. Normally it's only 12 tabs open.

xD That doesn't make me hate you. The only reason I don't have a stack of videos open right now is my internet would cry uncle, since apparently my ISP employs literal monkeys to be their code monkeys. My computer can handle that level of activity pretty easily. Really, it just makes me think that you like having a decent computer to work on (Unlike, say, my mother who insists on not updating from her steam-powered thing).

What I don't get, though, is how you could run a 16x16 embark. I suppose initially it wouldn't be too bad, but once things get going wouldn't the FPS edge into frames-per-minute territory? I'll admit I've never tried, but still... Late-game antics on a 6x6 scale seem to proceed at a comfortable 20 FPS or so for me. What is the framerate like?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gbrngfol on September 30, 2012, 03:29:50 am
A small tip for people with lag issues. Delete the sound files. The game will run about 25% faster without them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: reality.auditor on September 30, 2012, 09:59:21 am
Quote from: gbrngfol on September 30, 2012, 03:29:50 am
A small tip for people with lag issues. Delete the sound files. The game will run about 25% faster without them.
Lol wut?

On topic: my best hunter just tried to hunt Giant Cave Spider, with predictable results. Additional four casultaties while trying to kill it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Exitstrategy on September 30, 2012, 01:48:15 pm
I just found out you don't need to link stone-fall and cage traps to a trigger mechanism. Super facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DiezIrae on September 30, 2012, 02:39:47 pm
My mason getting possessed and making a chalk door with yak bone that isn't even more worth than a bone cage trap made by a child. Damn, face palmed hard.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Leatra on September 30, 2012, 04:19:03 pm
Quote from: Exitstrategy on September 28, 2012, 01:42:21 pm
...
A helluva story.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on September 30, 2012, 05:12:25 pm
Quote from: DiezIrae on September 30, 2012, 02:39:47 pm
My mason getting possessed and making a chalk door with yak bone that isn't even more worth than a bone cage trap made by a child. Damn, face palmed hard.
Palm blowgun, which used up one of my valuable steel bars (my map has no flux or coal).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Matthmatt1213 on September 30, 2012, 08:01:48 pm
Definitely when I found out that you could assign a manager instead of going to EVERY SINGLE INDIVIDUAL WORKSHOP and setting the jobs there. That took forever.

My second face-palm was when I found out you could use the status screen to slaughter animals instead of searching for them in your fortress and manually setting them to be slaughtered.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: strongrudder on September 30, 2012, 08:44:29 pm
Quote from: DiezIrae on September 30, 2012, 02:39:47 pm
My mason getting possessed and making a chalk door with yak bone that isn't even more worth than a bone cage trap made by a child. Damn, face palmed hard.
Are artifact doors still indestructible? Because if they are, this is still an unexciting artifact, but a potential fortress-saver.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scow2 on September 30, 2012, 09:53:47 pm
Quote from: strongrudder on September 30, 2012, 08:44:29 pm
Quote from: DiezIrae on September 30, 2012, 02:39:47 pm
My mason getting possessed and making a chalk door with yak bone that isn't even more worth than a bone cage trap made by a child. Damn, face palmed hard.
Are artifact doors still indestructible? Because if they are, this is still an unexciting artifact, but a potential fortress-saver.
While they can't be destroyed, they can still be dismantled - The door can be rebuilt, but it lets enemies through when taken down.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: strongrudder on October 01, 2012, 01:36:58 am
Hmm. I'm probably out of date, then - my last artifact door was in 31.18. When I got trolls, they just stood around the door and glared at it. X)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on October 01, 2012, 03:36:25 am
Quote from: strongrudder on October 01, 2012, 01:36:58 am
Hmm. I'm probably out of date, then - my last artifact door was in 31.18. When I got trolls, they just stood around the door and glared at it. X)

Trolls take down doors by glaring at them!  How did we not see this before?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kohmelo on October 01, 2012, 05:15:19 am
Planned easy way to destroy sieges fast. -> Made path with bridges to cavern full of forgotten beasts. Siege was destroyed in seconds BUT now I have poisonous area at my gate and 3 forgotten beasts waiting/Hiding in the area killing anything they can catch...  Every way to contain so called Forgotten beasts problem is "stuck" because for some reason there are bodies all over my bridges...

Well... My champion has already killed about 3 forgotten beasts in this incident so i need to hope he can kill the rest too... Just need to figure a way to flush that poisonous dust/vomit/blood away from my front gate...

Champion seems to be badass enought... Been ambushed about three times when going out and she killed 20 gobbos on those ambushes... Getting a feeling they are only ambushing her for some reason...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on October 02, 2012, 12:50:04 am
My first caravan of this fort!

The merchants left all the shit on the yak bulls! No chance of trade!

[Murder yak bull]

I just realised the consequential Loyalty Cascade in motion.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DiezIrae on October 02, 2012, 01:39:21 am
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on October 02, 2012, 12:50:04 am
My first caravan of this fort!

The merchants left all the shit on the yak bulls! No chance of trade!

[Murder yak bull]

I just realised the consequential Loyalty Cascade in motion.

Dwarf Fortress: Of Yaks and Loyality... And Booze, never forget the Booze.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on October 02, 2012, 09:54:33 pm
Quote from: gbrngfol on September 08, 2012, 09:49:16 pm
An alternative that seems to work fine is channeling an area then flooring over it. The underground part will be marked Above Ground Inside Light.
You have to go outside to do that. This lets you make above-ground farms without ever creating a walkable path from the surface.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gbrngfol on October 02, 2012, 10:47:28 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on October 02, 2012, 09:54:33 pm
Quote from: gbrngfol on September 08, 2012, 09:49:16 pm
An alternative that seems to work fine is channeling an area then flooring over it. The underground part will be marked Above Ground Inside Light.
You have to go outside to do that. This lets you make above-ground farms without ever creating a walkable path from the surface.

I can see your point but I have to argue that my way is easier.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Varnifane on October 02, 2012, 11:13:07 pm
Make sure your hammerdwarf that is currently in combat isn't wearing bismuth bronze leggings when you designate all bismuth bronze leggings to be melted from the stock screen...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: roughedge on October 02, 2012, 11:50:11 pm
What happened to the bismuth bronze legging wearing dwarf?

Also, I forgot to bring booze for this embark.... but we have a volcano!!! Damn no booze = civil war.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: roughedge on October 03, 2012, 12:03:47 am
No, wait, actually a mutant fae-dog set fire on my wagon and the blackcurrant wine I embarked with was set on fire catching the horse pulling the wagon in a burst of boiling blackcurrant wine. Nooooooooo, why, whyyyyyyyyyyy! Damn horse, it's his fault. No wait, it's the elves fault. Ya definitely an elf sent that fae-dog since elves like faes and other stuffs. I pity the elves who comes here.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Varnifane on October 03, 2012, 12:05:29 am
Quote from: roughedge on October 02, 2012, 11:50:11 pm
What happened to the bismuth bronze legging wearing dwarf?

He took them off and lost a leg. At least that's what I think happened...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: roughedge on October 03, 2012, 12:43:07 am
What I thought is that he went back to his room trying to figure out how to get that armok damned legging off his legs, then out of desperate frustration, he tore his leg off and threw it at his room neigbor embedding the leg(with the legging still on) in his skull shattering the brain and felt better for that. The leg was stiched back together with adamantine strands altough I doubt thats what actually happened.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on October 03, 2012, 04:01:32 pm
Quote from: gbrngfol on October 02, 2012, 10:47:28 pm
I can see your point but I have to argue that my way is easier.
Oh, absolutely. This is what you'd do when you really can't afford to have dwarves above ground for any time at all and you're out of other plant-creating options.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gbrngfol on October 03, 2012, 04:05:54 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on October 03, 2012, 04:01:32 pm
Quote from: gbrngfol on October 02, 2012, 10:47:28 pm
I can see your point but I have to argue that my way is easier.
Oh, absolutely. This is what you'd do when you really can't afford to have dwarves above ground for any time at all and you're out of other plant-creating options.

Ohhh I get it now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on October 03, 2012, 05:59:01 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on September 08, 2012, 11:03:47 am
As is every other underground crop bar pig tails. Sure, plump helmets are the only brewable crop you can grow in winter, but above-ground crops are all growable all year round.

Getting a greenhouse going even on a supportive biome might be tricky if anybody going outside is likely to be attacked. You can dig a moat upwards with two steps. First you dig an up stair, then channel out the tile above it. The floor tile on the surface is channelled as normal, but can't form a ramp because the stair tile won't support it. From there you can turn the area inside the moat into a greenhouse, although you can't do this with enemies in seeing distance. A temporary measure might be to create something like this:

Code: [Select]
level 0
,,,,,
,.,.,
,,,,,
,.,.,
,,,,,

level -1
#####
#<#<#
##>##
#<#<#
#####

level -2
#####
#####
##X## <--fort access
#####
#####
And then remove those up stairs. You get four tiles that are open to the air but with limited visibility, and while ranged attackers can shoot in (based on arena testing) and fliers can either wander in or use it as a shortcut should they get a ground path it's less risky than trying to set up a walled area on the surface itself. Placing it in the middle of the map will make wandering squads less likely to stumble upon it, and placing the open-air tiles so that they're surrounded by trees will cut visibility further. Something's going to find it eventually though, so get the channels covered as soon as it's feasable.

As with mood items, this is one of the things best set up in the first couple of peaceful years.

Unless I'm reading the diagram wrong or missing something, you could channel out the up stairs on Z -1 (bringing the lowest "Light, Outside" tile to Z -2) and then replace them with walls. That would block off flyers and ranged attacks, since the wall would also form a floor on Z 0. Also, you could do all eight tiles around the central staircase, channeling and walling the corners before doing the same to the cardinal sides... assuming the surface threats are far enough away for that to be safe. But I'd imagine if the four are safe, the eight would be also.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Exitstrategy on October 03, 2012, 06:02:08 pm
I have a well that gets fed from a river. Open a floodgate and, 'bam', more water. I was letting my little reservoir fill and went to take care of setting up trades with the elves pansies and forgot to keep an eye on it. I flooded half my underground farm before I managed to block off the hallways leading to the now destroyed well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sir_schwick on October 03, 2012, 08:16:59 pm
Quote from: Exitstrategy on October 03, 2012, 06:02:08 pm
I have a well that gets fed from a river. Open a floodgate and, 'bam', more water. I was letting my little reservoir fill and went to take care of setting up trades with the elves pansies and forgot to keep an eye on it. I flooded half my underground farm before I managed to block off the hallways leading to the now destroyed well.

I assume you had a manual toggle(lever) to turn flow on and off.  Link it to a pressure plate at the full line of your reservoir and it will automatically shut off before FUN.

-----------------------------------------

Had a great Spring start on a new embark.  A preliminary wall had been built along with a closing bridge/gate and a set of cage traps past that.  First migration wave has a decent farmer, soldier, and a Carp God cult leader**.  My plan was to have him set up an Altar of Armok and then keep on trying to offer his life.  This means some slade warhammers and hopefully his death.  Instead he converts three of the five migrants into Cult of the Carp God Acolytes as soon as they enter the map.  Two were family members, which of course makes him very depressed.  The child precedes to bite off and the head of my only soldier.  I then realize they are not trap avoid and could have simply sent everyone into an internal burrow to let them get caged.  *facepalm*

**DT told me this.  However looking at his history made it plain.  He was 15 years old yet had been part of four different forts.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thudde on October 03, 2012, 09:56:26 pm
Face palm moments?  Just lost another fort to a goblin on a wall.  There he sits, wounded, near death.  Every dwarf in the fort came up to look at him, and ran away into a corner.  They all are running in circles, slowly starving to death as they are too scared to go back into the fort (the stairs are too close the goblin).  My archers are refuse to get any bolts.  I've added two dozen archers to the military, but they refuse to get any bolts either.  It appears reloading is a civilian act, and as a civilian they can't approach the stairs.   Bah
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Exitstrategy on October 03, 2012, 10:27:48 pm
Quote from: sir_schwick on October 03, 2012, 08:16:59 pm
Quote from: Exitstrategy on October 03, 2012, 06:02:08 pm
I have a well that gets fed from a river. Open a floodgate and, 'bam', more water. I was letting my little reservoir fill and went to take care of setting up trades with the elves pansies and forgot to keep an eye on it. I flooded half my underground farm before I managed to block off the hallways leading to the now destroyed well.

I assume you had a manual toggle(lever) to turn flow on and off.  Link it to a pressure plate at the full line of your reservoir and it will automatically shut off before FUN.

Wow... that bums me out...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Leatra on October 04, 2012, 04:48:17 pm
Quote from: Thudde on October 03, 2012, 09:56:26 pm
Face palm moments?  Just lost another fort to a goblin on a wall.  There he sits, wounded, near death.  Every dwarf in the fort came up to look at him, and ran away into a corner.  They all are running in circles, slowly starving to death as they are too scared to go back into the fort (the stairs are too close the goblin).  My archers are refuse to get any bolts.  I've added two dozen archers to the military, but they refuse to get any bolts either.  It appears reloading is a civilian act, and as a civilian they can't approach the stairs.   Bah
Maybe turn all your archers into wrestlers?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on October 04, 2012, 04:50:34 pm
I facepalmed when i lost something important to a story I'm writing. And now I know just how monsterous monsterous beetles are: Monsterous enough to decapitated an elephant. And there's still collosal beetles I'm hunting....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on October 04, 2012, 09:37:33 pm
Quote from: Splint on October 04, 2012, 04:50:34 pm
And now I know just how monsterous monsterous beetles are: Monsterous enough to decapitated an elephant. And there's still collosal beetles I'm hunting....

Don't giant insects have really short natural lifespans though? Although if they aren't that short then I suppose they'd make a good breed for war beasts. It's not like creatures would die of old age in fort mode anyway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on October 05, 2012, 02:32:01 pm
Quote from: Drazinononda on October 03, 2012, 05:59:01 pm
Unless I'm reading the diagram wrong or missing something, you could channel out the up stairs on Z -1 (bringing the lowest "Light, Outside" tile to Z -2) and then replace them with walls. That would block off flyers and ranged attacks, since the wall would also form a floor on Z 0. Also, you could do all eight tiles around the central staircase, channeling and walling the corners before doing the same to the cardinal sides... assuming the surface threats are far enough away for that to be safe. But I'd imagine if the four are safe, the eight would be also.
That's a good idea, extending the lit area downwards and then sealing it with a wall. You could freely expand the farm area that way, as once a wall is placed onto the level below the surface the tile it's on acts like the original soil wall, providing support and protection.

It'd also allow you to roof the farm from below, which would be a more pressing concern on maps with evil weather or syndrome clouds combined with regular rain, the latter of which will leave your site carpeted with unpleasantness in short order*.

*I have a site like this, though I haven't gotten around to playing it. It's husk clouds, in a swamp.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bigheaded on October 06, 2012, 03:51:14 pm
I just LITERALLY facepalmed in real life after this one.

So i embarked without picks or battle axes and instead with some tetrahedrite, charcoal and an anvil, so i could simply produce my own.

Got my smelter + metalsmith going no problems.
Got 2 picks going and my miners went off to work, perfect!
But for some reason the axe wasn't being used by my woodcutter, i'd never been on a "good" biome so checked if that was a problem. It wasn't.
Made another axe, ran out of charcoal and still my woodcutter had no axe.
Completely bemused i take my metalsmith forge apart so i could see the axes... no axes?!
Check the stocks, i have 2 axes.

I then remembered that i also brought 2 military hammerdwarves, also without weapons. I was going to make them weapons also, and they stole my 2 axes i made, so my woodcutter was on his arse.

sigh. I was "this" close to abandoning.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StLeibowitz on October 06, 2012, 05:00:15 pm
When the most recent dwarven caravan entered my fort's trade plaza and unpacked, all my dwarves - every single one with a hauling labor enabled - dropped everything and stormed the trade depot, ransacking the horrifed caravaneers' stocks and carting off every strand of thread and bolt of cloth they owned. They charged out in a multicolored mass of greed, and flowed back towards the newly established office of the Dwarf Surgeon General.

I now have more fabric than I know what to do with, or wouldn't know, if any of it were left outside of the hospital for general consumption. It was the most impressive display of dwarven coordination I have ever seen.

...if only they could get themselves together enough to fight the goblins, this fort might have a shot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on October 06, 2012, 06:21:48 pm
Quote from: StLeibowitz on October 06, 2012, 05:00:15 pm
I now have more fabric than I know what to do with, or wouldn't know, if any of it were left outside of the hospital for general consumption. It was the most impressive display of dwarven coordination I have ever seen.

...if only they could get themselves together enough to fight the goblins, this fort might have a shot.

Sigged.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BlueMagic on October 06, 2012, 08:19:48 pm
So for one game I decided to start something new. I set out for an icy area by a river. I would bring bunnies instead of my usual animals. They would breed...like rabbits, you could say. And I would get a huge supply of meat from that.

Well, bunnies don't give meat. And the river fucking froze. All of my dwarves died.

Another time I had to switch pastures since the grass was running out. I found a nice patch a distance away from the fort.

And left the animals alone to be slaughtered.

Yup.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on October 07, 2012, 01:32:41 am
Quote from: BlueMagic on October 06, 2012, 08:19:48 pm
I would bring bunnies instead of my usual animals. They would breed...like rabbits, you could say.
Dogs breed like rabbits, and so do pigs (though they're a little expensive to bring). In fact, most things do, as they share the same reproductive defaults.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sabretache on October 07, 2012, 02:32:00 am
I embarked on a frozen river in the middle of a mountain. Everyone drowned while barrels battered them to pieces.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gbrngfol on October 07, 2012, 02:52:08 am
Quote from: BlueMagic on October 06, 2012, 08:19:48 pm
So for one game I decided to start something new. I set out for an icy area by a river. I would bring bunnies instead of my usual animals. They would breed...like rabbits, you could say. And I would get a huge supply of meat from that.

Well, bunnies don't give meat. And the river fucking froze. All of my dwarves died.

Another time I had to switch pastures since the grass was running out. I found a nice patch a distance away from the fort.

And left the animals alone to be slaughtered.

Yup.

I'll post the raws for my modded rabbits here:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

They're trainable and technically have a steel coating so I think you might like them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on October 07, 2012, 10:27:11 am
But they're the same size and relative meat mass as normal rabbits, and therefore don't solve the original problem of zero edible butchery returns.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxy15 on October 07, 2012, 10:32:00 am
Quote from: Bigheaded on October 06, 2012, 03:51:14 pm
I just LITERALLY facepalmed in real life after this one.

So i embarked without picks or battle axes and instead with some tetrahedrite, charcoal and an anvil, so i could simply produce my own.

Got my smelter + metalsmith going no problems.
Got 2 picks going and my miners went off to work, perfect!
But for some reason the axe wasn't being used by my woodcutter, i'd never been on a "good" biome so checked if that was a problem. It wasn't.
Made another axe, ran out of charcoal and still my woodcutter had no axe.
Completely bemused i take my metalsmith forge apart so i could see the axes... no axes?!
Check the stocks, i have 2 axes.

I then remembered that i also brought 2 military hammerdwarves, also without weapons. I was going to make them weapons also, and they stole my 2 axes i made, so my woodcutter was on his arse.

sigh. I was "this" close to abandoning.
Deconstruct the wagon and use the wood from them to make training axes. They work just as fine for woodcutting.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on October 07, 2012, 11:28:50 am
Modded jabberers and GCS to be common domestic animals available on embark, but with a pet value of 19999 to put them out of reach for the first couple of years (for my playstyle, anyway). Last migration wave, guess what pet the Dyer has? You're missing the point, Bomrek. Why couldn't you have been a metalworker instead? 35 immigrants, and the only metalworking skills are Novice Blacksmith and Adequate Armoursmith. But maybe it's not that bad. The armoursmith likes adamantine, the site has enough of it to redo any botch jobs, and DT considers her the fourth best dwarf for the job.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Exitstrategy on October 07, 2012, 12:54:07 pm
While trying to get a well for my fortress, I had to build a workaround for the pump by the river (which wasn't working correctly for some reason despite all efforts). While channeling a route for a new pump, I collapsed the one wall that I needed to stand. Any other wall I would have been fine. This is the beginning of spring. I have to wait until Winter, using a makeshift rig to pump excess water, to fix the wall and stop the flooding. My dwarves are ankle deep in water on their first floor.

Its a pain in the ass, but I will not give up on ringseized!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on October 07, 2012, 04:54:06 pm
I caught a necromancer and decided to use him to set up a training room. Dug out the room, dug out the pitting floor above it, made hatches, build fortifications, etc.

First mistake: pitted the necro too early, before I had hatches over the pits. Took me nearly a season to cancel and reassign the hatch jobs until my dwarves stopped cancelling due to line-of-sight into the necro's pit.

Second mistake: left LOS into my main courtyard. Dwarves would be running around, not even near the pit, and drop bins and stuff because the happened to glance down the ramp fifteen tiles away and see an enemy behind the fortifications. Took half a season to get barriers up to prevent that.

Third mistake: left general LOS into the fortifications. I was thinking, "I'll only ever have my military down here, no need for civilians, so it should be fine." Firstly, wasn't thinking about needing civvies to dump the bodies to prevent miasma. Secondly, every time a soldier decided they were going to drop some equipment in the pit and go get a new piece, a dozen civvies would run into the pit to stockpile the abandoned armor and then run away like pansies.

Fourth mistake: I didn't have any sure-fire way of getting rid of the necromancer when I decided that this had been a bad idea all along. I ended up killing him by pitting all of my large domestic animals in with him. A llama kicked his head in.

EDIT: Left the fort running while I went to do dishes. Came back in the middle of a tantrum spiral caused by troglodytes pouncing on haulers in the caverns. Various insanity took me from 60+ dwarves down to about 10, when a necro siege and two goblin ambushes showed up at the same time. The goblins that survived the zombies and my cage traps killed everyone but my most accomplished soldier, who was stranded in the lowest cavern with only one leg. He was starving, dehydrated, extremely tired and miserable, but still had the spunk to elect himself mayor and ban the export of rings. Shortly after this an anklosaurid FB showed up, ran to a spot three tiles from him, stood there for a day or so, then ran around the corner and killed him in one hit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: McClaude on October 07, 2012, 11:49:14 pm
I send my only soldier to figth a Sauropod, sure i knew it was big, and fat, and strong, but McRambon was a very skilled dwarf. And so i needed the fat and the bones and the meat.

I was carefull to check the figth Setp-byStep... in 2 hit he was with an Arm Broken, a hand splatered and the chest cut open (how tha fuck the sauropod cuted it?), anyway, i stoped the figth, and inmediatly asked for and emergenci diagnosis. My dumbass-drunkentobut-lazynuss doctor was not helping... He finaly decided to make the diagnosis and guess what he needed a Caste Plaster rigth away!

So i started to do the thingy plaster, cuz i didnt haved it, i was needing charcoal, swiftly set up a Woodburning Furnace and send some charcoal rigth away; but no dwarf maked the charcoal... i was sure there was some dwarvens with the Furnace Operating avalible, but i couldnot make them make the charcoal...

After a complete season of waiting for a simple charcoal I was pissed, really PISSED. At the McRambon soldier cuz was a dumb ass not avoiding such a slow creature, at the doctor for telling me to make a caste plaster thingy, and at the all 25 other dwarves because I enabled the Furnace Operating labor and NO-ONE MAKES THE BLOODY CHARCOAL!

The soldier died (i dont remember why), the 2 original furnace operators died drowned in the well as punishment for their incompetence, and the doctor was reducted to hauling services.

Then i saw ---- "WOOD BURNING DISABLED"

OMFG YOU DUMP*%&&%&/"(")(&*^^*

Yep true story....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hirix on October 08, 2012, 06:35:15 am
Starting a new game on a new world. All is well then I get my first migrant wave. All the 7 Dwarves that came with that wave was miserable and upon entering my fortress, one went berserk and killed everyone of my Dwarves... Happened an hour ago
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on October 08, 2012, 08:56:45 am
Quote from: McClaude on October 07, 2012, 11:49:14 pm
He finaly decided to make the diagnosis and guess what he needed a Caste Plaster rigth away!
Splints work just as well as plaster casts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on October 08, 2012, 11:55:08 am
Quote from: Hirix on October 08, 2012, 06:35:15 am
Starting a new game on a new world. All is well then I get my first migrant wave. All the 7 Dwarves that came with that wave was miserable and upon entering my fortress, one went berserk and killed everyone of my Dwarves... Happened an hour ago

Sure it was a brand new world? I think that often happens when you've abandoned a failing fortress in the same world. The already tantruming dwarves get put in the migrant pool to visit fun on future forts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on October 08, 2012, 08:08:32 pm
EDIT:

I uh, managed to somehow set up a food stockpile somewhere far off in the wild. I think it was to save a dwarf stranded by a siege. Anyway, It turns out it is now all we have left, and there is a siege in the way.

Oh the bitter irony.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: maltapotamus on October 09, 2012, 12:29:20 am
ive been reading this thread for several days now and been thinking to myself "huh, im glad i haven't had any of these problems!! i must be really good or something!" im still fairly new, playing for about 2 months or so.....

so i was reading about "pill boxes" and decided to make some of my own. in comes a siege. :) perfect time to try them out! they were working out great! sniping  gobos and trolls :) yay!

i was still finishing up several of them, including one in the peak of the mountain i was in. i was smoothing the walls, then carving fortifications.

i was watching some gobo's being pelted by my marksdwarves when i noticed some where walking away from the spot they had been sitting at for a while... they went up to the top of my hill.... where i noticed that parts of the wall was completely gone....

apparently i didn't designate for smoothing like i had thought..... ug.... i now have an openening for the 70ish lashers and trolls to come into my fort.... currently trying to stay alive after this.... sent my military (10 hammer, 10 axe, 18 ish xbow) to hopefully buy some time for walls to be built.... i also hope they don't (though i know they will) get to my gobo prison....... 40+ in there plus some trolls.... naked at least... but still.. :( no more target practice.

wish me luck with all this !FUN!  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on October 09, 2012, 12:37:23 am
Quote from: maltapotamus on October 09, 2012, 12:29:20 am
ive been reading this thread for several days now and been thinking to myself "huh, im glad i haven't had any of these problems!! i must be really good or something!" im still fairly new, playing for about 2 months or so.....
Thats what FUN does. It waits. You get complacent. And then BAM. Oh shit, FUN all over the fort. Oh yeah, just figured out why that happened? Too bad, it won't save the life of your suddenly suicidal legendary weaponsmith/most-popular-dwarf-in-town. Oh wait, is everyone tantruming? Guess what, thye just knocked out your supports and floodgates, and now theres magma streaming itno the fort, oh and look, its right by the booze stock pile, explode. And now cats are on fire and running around and destroy a goblin cage and now its running around on fire, bopping dwarfs like nobodies business, and then al of a sudden a magma proof FB shows up a decides to kill of the few pockets of aliveness and generally flooding more of the fort.

And then there are 15 dwarves left, and 1 goblin, aboveground, and wait is that a dragon...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: maltapotamus on October 09, 2012, 12:47:31 am
Quote from: misko27 on October 09, 2012, 12:37:23 am
Quote from: maltapotamus on October 09, 2012, 12:29:20 am
ive been reading this thread for several days now and been thinking to myself "huh, im glad i haven't had any of these problems!! i must be really good or something!" im still fairly new, playing for about 2 months or so.....
Thats what FUN does. It waits. You get complacent. And then BAM. Oh shit, FUN all over the fort. Oh yeah, just figured out why that happened? Too bad, it won't save the life of your suddenly suicidal legendary weaponsmith/most-popular-dwarf-in-town. Oh wait, is everyone tantruming? Guess what, thye just knocked out your supports and floodgates, and now theres magma streaming itno the fort, oh and look, its right by the booze stock pile, explode. And now cats are on fire and running around and destroy a goblin cage and now its running around on fire, bopping dwarfs like nobodies business, and then al of a sudden a magma proof FB shows up a decides to kill of the few pockets of aliveness and generally flooding more of the fort.

And then there are 15 dwarves left, and 1 goblin, aboveground, and wait is that a dragon...

lol! yeah, some how though i slaughtered (one axe dwarf took out 8 of them by himself) all the trolls, which apperently scared off all the gobos.... :) im very pleased with myself. im actually not even sure if i actually lost any one in the military.... though i know i lost at least 1 legendary miner and a few engravers.... all well. it was a lot of fun laughing at myself! :)

edit:: lost 1 axe, 1 hammer and 1 marks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kpi on October 09, 2012, 10:57:42 am
A stupid dwarf was building a wall, next to a bridge over a chasm. 10X01, 1 is a wall, 0 is no wall and X is the wall s/he was building. Now I've got 4 dwarves left. Dwarven logic is very fucked up. Also he took my other pick, so only 1 miner for now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grax on October 09, 2012, 11:20:30 am
Quote from: kpi on October 09, 2012, 10:57:42 am
A stupid dwarf was building a wall, next to a bridge over a chasm. 10X01, 1 is a wall, 0 is no wall and X is the wall s/he was building. Now I've got 4 dwarves left. Dwarven logic is very fucked up.
Nope.
Dwarven logic is great. It's just great because it's dwarven.

But who's in fault that dwarven logic is a fucked up human logic?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: chaosgear on October 10, 2012, 03:39:24 pm
So I'm building a wall around my entrance. "Dwarves have suspended the construction; creature in the way" I look, and the dwarf that is building the wall is standing where it's being built. He suspended the construction because he was in the way. He left.  I unsuspended it. He returned and stepped on the constructions spot again. He can't build it cuz he's in the way. He suspends it. We repeat this cycle many times.

Never did finish that wall. Goblins invaded before it was finished. *twitch*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on October 10, 2012, 03:57:48 pm
Quote from: chaosgear on October 10, 2012, 03:39:24 pm
So I'm building a wall around my entrance. "Dwarves have suspended the construction; creature in the way" I look, and the dwarf that is building the wall is standing where it's being built. He suspended the construction because he was in the way. He left.  I unsuspended it. He returned and stepped on the constructions spot again. He can't build it cuz he's in the way. He suspends it. We repeat this cycle many times.

Never did finish that wall. Goblins invaded before it was finished. *twitch*
Dwarves are quite stupid. If that happens again just cancel the designation and place it again.  Too late now it seems...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on October 11, 2012, 12:21:33 am
Decide to into DFHack to quicksave and go to the bottom of the computer screen. Accidently press right mouse 'button' (it's below the touchpad) and select 'close all windows', which exits without saving. Lost a season's work, including one of those trading sessions where you throw everything you have at the traders in half a dozen different sessions in the hope of getting hold of everything you ordered.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: urmane on October 11, 2012, 08:35:52 am
Spent ages constructing a three-wide aqueduct from a river, complete with cistern, wells, fishing, place for future waterwheels, extra floodgates, flowed off-map (instead of into the caverns like I usually do), more ages smoothing the whole thing.  Sprayed down on over the beards entering the dining hall, plenty of grates to funnel off water ....

Well, apparently not enough grates.  After dealing with the Forgotten Beast, found the dining room flooded.  Went to turn off the floodgates ... but the switching control room was also under water ... < facepalm >
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: topper on October 11, 2012, 01:19:06 pm
Allowed refuse: (bones, teeth) in my master quantum stockpile to empty out my refuse stockpile. At the same time I ordered up 20 full sets of copper armor to get my military geared up. A season later I go to trade and I have 20 sets of XXcopper chain mailXX, XXcopper greavesXX, XXcopper right gauntletXX, etc.

...so that is why I cant seem to get to a surplus in clothing!  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Brewster on October 12, 2012, 07:00:23 am
When every time I say 'ah crap' out-loud while playing, I have to explain to my wife why a fire breathing platypus forgotten beast just torched my tailor, and 2 of my archers in an underground cavern.
(seriously, imagine those words coming out of your mouth at like the office or something... insane)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: urmane on October 12, 2012, 04:59:35 pm
Beautiful huge burial crypt made, smoothed, engraved, coffins placed ... but I forgot to enable burial, and now that insane berzerk Shearer is rotting on the main staircase, filling the entire core with miasma ...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: chaosgear on October 12, 2012, 07:45:59 pm
My game froze after three years of major work.
I just abandoned. I'm not gonna bother with this crap.

Still, it was shaping up to be one of my most successful fortresses...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on October 12, 2012, 10:36:34 pm
Quote from: chaosgear on October 12, 2012, 07:45:59 pm
My game froze after three years of major work.
I just abandoned. I'm not gonna bother with this crap.

Still, it was shaping up to be one of my most successful fortresses...

Seasonal autosave is your friend.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkgloomie on October 13, 2012, 05:01:46 am
A dwarf has drowned in the river because I didn't know that bridges can't support floors adiacent to them.

That's not the facepalm moment though. The dorf was a peasant with no useful skill, prolly born on the fort (aye, that's a bad thought!) so he can stay dead for all i care.

The facepalm moment is that said Avuz Udaroslan had just enough turns to get out of the river... and die.

What. The. Fuck.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hops on October 14, 2012, 05:13:38 am
Quicksaved in DFhack and copied my fort so I can take a look at the Legends.
Turns out I ended up abandoning both fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: P(ony)SI on October 14, 2012, 09:23:23 pm
So, first of all, a goblin ambush comes in and ends up wounding one of my soldiers. No problem, I have a hospital.
Then, a forgotten beast decides to say "Hi" to that wounded soldier, and ends up killing him. In some kind of miracle, the doctor didn't die.
Next, a few more ambushes and some babysnatchers come. Not a problem, until I find out that dwarves are drinking out of the river, right next to the ambushes.
I look at the stocks screen, and I only have 29 units of drink left.
My military goes and kills some melee ambushes, then get slaughtered by goblin crossbows. All of them.

I ragequit the fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on October 15, 2012, 12:12:20 am
Quote from: P(ony)SI on October 14, 2012, 09:23:23 pm
I ragequit the fort.


Wait. What? Enhance.

Quote from: P(ony)SI on October 14, 2012, 09:23:23 pm
I ragequit the fort.


ENHANCE.

Quote from: P(ony)SI on October 14, 2012, 09:23:23 pm
I ragequit the fort.


... But there was still living dwarves. Living, sane dwarves. You are failing if everything isn't fire, blood, insanity, vomit, and miasma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gentlefish on October 15, 2012, 12:24:50 am
Quote from: Hanslanda on October 15, 2012, 12:12:20 am
Quote from: P(ony)SI on October 14, 2012, 09:23:23 pm
I ragequit the fort.


Wait. What? Enhance.

Quote from: P(ony)SI on October 14, 2012, 09:23:23 pm
I ragequit the fort.


ENHANCE.

Quote from: P(ony)SI on October 14, 2012, 09:23:23 pm
I ragequit the fort.


... But there was still living dwarves. Living, sane dwarves. You are failing if everything isn't fire, blood, insanity, vomit, and miasma.

I'm sorry. But this is just beautiful.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hops on October 15, 2012, 12:55:30 am
On the matter of not giving up, the first instance of the succession fort Inkedcarnage failed horribly when someone died (forgot name) and MrWillsauce probably berserked to harvest everybody's intestines. NotaPirate, the last dwarf left in the fort, brained her (MrWillsauce was a female dwarf).

The official fort abandoned and reclaimed, but I downloaded the save and continued brewing, farming, and things. Progress is minimal since she (nearly everyone in the fort are female) always had her hands full with farming and building coffins. Later three farmers migrated to the smoking ruins and now we're working to bury everyone.

tl;dr I saved the fort with a single dwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on October 15, 2012, 02:15:34 am
A Forgotten Beast decided to crawl down through my irrigation system and deconstruct the floodgates in my adamantine harvesting rooms.
It then proceeded to swim up and chase my dwarves around until my military killed it, taking down a mason with its deadly blood (though for some reason it says he was killed by a cave blob).

And to top it all off, for reasons I don't completely understand, one of my magma forges has magma periodically spewing up through the holes so that my metalworkers can't complete it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on October 15, 2012, 03:10:25 am
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on October 15, 2012, 02:15:34 am
A Forgotten Beast decided to crawl down through my irrigation system and deconstruct the floodgates in my adamantine harvesting rooms.
It then proceeded to swim up and chase my dwarves around until my military killed it, taking down a mason with its deadly blood (though for some reason it says he was killed by a cave blob).

And to top it all off, for reasons I don't completely understand, one of my magma forges has magma periodically spewing up through the holes so that my metalworkers can't complete it.

Is your forge below the natural level of the magma and above a magma source or being fed by pumps?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on October 15, 2012, 11:26:28 am
If it's periodic spewing then the tile is probably above Magma Flow and below its natural level. Is there a pipe on your map?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spacebat on October 15, 2012, 11:32:13 am
Quote from: StLeibowitz on October 06, 2012, 05:00:15 pm
When the most recent dwarven caravan entered my fort's trade plaza and unpacked, all my dwarves - every single one with a hauling labor enabled - dropped everything and stormed the trade depot, ransacking the horrifed caravaneers' stocks and carting off every strand of thread and bolt of cloth they owned. They charged out in a multicolored mass of greed, and flowed back towards the newly established office of the Dwarf Surgeon General.

I now have more fabric than I know what to do with, or wouldn't know, if any of it were left outside of the hospital for general consumption. It was the most impressive display of dwarven coordination I have ever seen.

...if only they could get themselves together enough to fight the goblins, this fort might have a shot.

Yeah, that's why you never put a container in your hospital. Dwarves will overstock it with every goddamn scrap of material a hospital might want.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on October 15, 2012, 11:55:59 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on October 15, 2012, 11:26:28 am
If it's periodic spewing then the tile is probably above Magma Flow and below its natural level. Is there a pipe on your map?
Yes, there's a magma pipe into the third cavern. Also a volcano. I suppose this is happening because of the way magma respawns?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on October 15, 2012, 07:45:34 pm
Quote from: Objective on October 15, 2012, 12:55:30 am
I saved the fort with a single dwarf.

That's why I never quit until the only dwarves left are insane. Or children, because really, who wants to run the game for seven years while that kid grows up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Voyd211 on October 16, 2012, 07:41:49 am
A whole gang of miners getting horribly slaughtered by a single giant toad. The guy even got a name, although I didn't care enough to remember it.

I then threw a random military together and they did a lovely impersonation of an anatomy class.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jase on October 16, 2012, 11:06:04 am
It is spring again and those nearly useless elf caravan is visiting me again. Their diplomat went to my Mayor for the usual buisness. They keep chatting, finishing the import agreement and then i got to see the export agreement. The most "needed" item was: Wooden Figurines. Elves. Face Palm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spacebat on October 16, 2012, 12:02:34 pm
Quote from: Jase on October 16, 2012, 11:06:04 am
It is spring again and those nearly useless elf caravan is visiting me again. Their diplomat went to my Mayor for the usual buisness. They keep chatting, finishing the import agreement and then i got to see the export agreement. The most "needed" item was: Wooden Figurines. Elves. Face Palm.

You actually get an elf diplomat? Weeeeird, haven't seen those in a long time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheKaspa on October 16, 2012, 12:16:56 pm
Quote from: Jase on October 16, 2012, 11:06:04 am
It is spring again and those nearly useless elf caravan is visiting me again. Their diplomat went to my Mayor for the usual buisness. They keep chatting, finishing the import agreement and then i got to see the export agreement. The most "needed" item was: Wooden Figurines. Elves. Face Palm.

They are surely trying to trick you into war.
Although it's a little bit obvious...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jase on October 16, 2012, 01:02:35 pm
It could be, that it was a liasion, actually I know this guy only as "Useless Elf, which only purpose is, that I can order wood from him"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McLaptop on October 16, 2012, 02:44:58 pm
Okay.....I just got dwarf fortress.....needles to say things didn't go well.after a goblin siege a child's parents were killed.the CHILD threw a tantrum and began slaughtering my dwarfs in there sleep! My stinking champion wrestler tried to fight it but at that moment a cave in happened while the child miraculously escaped.........the other dwarves became melancholy, about 5 left.they died.the child was left.he all of a sudden got depressed BECAUSE ALL HIS FRIENDS WERE DEAD! He then proceeded to jump into my carp infested moat........lot of blood.........and so ended scalyorb of demons!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on October 16, 2012, 03:03:22 pm
Quote from: Spacebat on October 16, 2012, 12:02:34 pm
Quote from: Jase on October 16, 2012, 11:06:04 am
It is spring again and those nearly useless elf caravan is visiting me again. Their diplomat went to my Mayor for the usual buisness. They keep chatting, finishing the import agreement and then i got to see the export agreement. The most "needed" item was: Wooden Figurines. Elves. Face Palm.

You actually get an elf diplomat? Weeeeird, haven't seen those in a long time.

The prices agreed upon in import and export agreements apply to both sales and purchases.  He might have been trying to sell you a load of elven wood figurines.

Until figurines have a use, I don't think anyone would buy the blighted things.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: thefish1992 on October 17, 2012, 11:23:35 am
i was playing with the masterwork, and on the embark screen i saw a Tower.
for some reason i thought it was a automaton tower, the resident necromancer quickly corrected me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hops on October 17, 2012, 01:57:59 pm
Oh Masterwork.
How brutal it is when you're reminded of the warlocks' existence when you realized the goddamn forest is on fire after the last siege.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: thefish1992 on October 17, 2012, 05:24:50 pm
warlocks? hell the damn merchants worry me the most, every time they come, they light the outside on fire, Fire bombing my trade depot, and the elves with their damn mutant fea dogs, and they yell at me for destroying the forest. in all honesty those necros zombie hoards just ended up being turn into soap, had a lovely fragrance.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snorunt30 on October 17, 2012, 08:55:04 pm
(http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/6049/5446a5f0b7314c84bf047ad.png)
This... ugh, just after I dug it out :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on October 17, 2012, 09:20:13 pm
Quote from: Snorunt30 on October 17, 2012, 08:55:04 pm
(http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/6049/5446a5f0b7314c84bf047ad.png)
This... ugh, just after I dug it out :'(


But imagine how awesome that rubik's cube is.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on October 17, 2012, 09:48:02 pm
Quote from: Hanslanda on October 17, 2012, 09:20:13 pm
Quote from: Snorunt30 on October 17, 2012, 08:55:04 pm
(http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/6049/5446a5f0b7314c84bf047ad.png)
This... ugh, just after I dug it out :'(


But imagine how awesome that rubik's cube is.
Meanwhile, we're soon going to see the first ever natural death of a artifact: Death by frustration.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FlickerFly on October 18, 2012, 02:17:46 am
Note to self- make sure terrifying biome has zombies before sacrificing favourite dorf to make sure no zombies get in -_-.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scruffy on October 18, 2012, 06:25:01 am
Once again I had an obsidian casting project with unforeseen consequinces. I tried to slowly fill a candy tube with obsidian but forgot that the clowns evaporate the water a bit too fast for it to work. Instead of a tube full of obsidian I ended up with a tube full of magma, clowns and steam. Atleast the darn thing found another place to make obsidian. Straight on the top of my floorgrate that sealed the tube. Naturally this led to both the magma and water flooding and I had build my floodgates too far away. It turned out that I had also forgotten to link one of my magma floodgates. Some leakake followed. Naturally the water also found another direction to go. Up. I had forgotten an old temporary passage above the water pipe. My candy is now 7 levels under water. ::)

I ended up with my candy mines being flooded by BOTH magma and water (and a few idiotic decisions later, infested by clowns.)
Edit: Did I mention that the part flooded with magma included barracks with my best soldiers? (wanted them close incase something went wrong)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BinaryBeast1010011010 on October 18, 2012, 07:06:07 am
it nearly happened to me... But just before doing it Idecided to rework it all to make a checkerboard instead...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: arzzult on October 18, 2012, 07:11:04 am
Quote from: Scruffy on October 18, 2012, 06:25:01 am
Once again I had an obsidian casting project with unforeseen consequinces. I tried to slowly fill a candy tube with obsidian but forgot that the clowns evaporate the water a bit too fast for it to work. Instead of a tube full of obsidian I ended up with a tube full of magma, clowns and steam. Atleast the darn thing found another place to make obsidian. Straight on the top of my floorgrate that sealed the tube. Naturally this led to both the magma and water flooding and I had build my floodgates too far away. It turned out that I had also forgotten to link one of my magma floodgates. Some leakake followed. Naturally the water also found another direction to go. Up. I had forgotten an old temporary passage above the water pipe. My candy is now 7 levels under water. ::)

I ended up with my candy mines being flooded by BOTH magma and water (and a few idiotic decisions later, infested by clowns.)
Edit: Did I mention that the part flooded with magma included barracks with my best soldiers? (wanted them close incase something went wrong)

I have avoided many flooding and other face palms with one of the easiest things to make en masse. Doors. I put them every where.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: katwithk on October 18, 2012, 07:58:32 am
I overflowed the intake pipe to my magma cistern network from the volcano and caused a terrible wildfire. Beds are now a privilege, not a right.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ruhn on October 18, 2012, 05:12:00 pm
So my fortress is this big 250+ dwarf beast that I'm running purely through the manager screen now.
I have made some soap in the past, and wanted more for my expanded hospital.
These messages about "not enough lye" keep comming up, so of course I submit 100's of "render fat" jobs.
Well, my friend tells me today that lye actually comes from ash/trees....?

oops....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Berossus on October 19, 2012, 05:29:29 am
Quote from: Scruffy on October 18, 2012, 06:25:01 am
Did I mention that the part flooded with magma included barracks with my best soldiers? (wanted them close incase something went wrong)

Well, they WERE close when it went wrong, so thats a partial success...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on October 19, 2012, 12:21:34 pm
Quote from: Berossus on October 19, 2012, 05:29:29 am
Quote from: Scruffy on October 18, 2012, 06:25:01 am
Did I mention that the part flooded with magma included barracks with my best soldiers? (wanted them close incase something went wrong)

Well, they WERE close when it went wrong, so thats a partial success...


Lol, I don't think the soldiers thought so.

"Sir, how do we fight ****ing MAGMA?!?"
"Uh, get a bucket, and then we'll- AAAAAIEEEEEEEE! IT BURNS!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pletter on October 20, 2012, 05:49:13 am
(http://imageshack.us/a/img507/518/50364719.jpg)

they grow up so fast!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheKaspa on October 20, 2012, 03:31:40 pm
Set up a Track to move the rock blocks up to the surface in order to speed up the building of the Tower of Blizzard (fort name: TowerBlizzard).
Built a starting stop with autodump. Built a second starting Stop next to it without autodump. Set the hauling route to start from the second Stop and to go over the first.
Removed the first after a whole year of pushing empty minecarts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Findulidas on October 21, 2012, 07:00:46 am

Quote from: Snorunt30 on October 17, 2012, 08:55:04 pm
(http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/6049/5446a5f0b7314c84bf047ad.png)
This... ugh, just after I dug it out :'(

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lemarchand%27s_box
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snorunt30 on October 21, 2012, 11:32:11 pm
Quote from: Findulidas on October 21, 2012, 07:00:46 am

Quote from: Snorunt30 on October 17, 2012, 08:55:04 pm
(http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/6049/5446a5f0b7314c84bf047ad.png)
This... ugh, just after I dug it out :'(

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lemarchand%27s_box
That actually fits quite well with what my world is like (take a look at the topic linked by quote in my sig  ;), and by that I mean perhaps as a doorway to the normal world)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sudgy on October 23, 2012, 11:35:08 pm
Quote from: Felius on April 20, 2009, 09:10:01 pm
Well, to start, mine:
I have been building a out of the mountain wall to encircle the entrance and work for the outside needs of my dwarves. Ok, after I had built the entire wall, the second store floors, a barracks over the main gate, etc. I finally discover that, well, you can built constructions more than one tile at a time. Yes, after building a few hundred tiles with painstakingly micromanagement, I discover that I could have done that with a tenth of the work...

Well, mine I guess is that this is how I discover that you can build like this.  I've also been building tile by tile...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheKaspa on October 24, 2012, 01:46:46 am
Quote from: sudgy on October 23, 2012, 11:35:08 pm
Quote from: Felius on April 20, 2009, 09:10:01 pm
Well, to start, mine:
I have been building a out of the mountain wall to encircle the entrance and work for the outside needs of my dwarves. Ok, after I had built the entire wall, the second store floors, a barracks over the main gate, etc. I finally discover that, well, you can built constructions more than one tile at a time. Yes, after building a few hundred tiles with painstakingly micromanagement, I discover that I could have done that with a tenth of the work...

Well, mine I guess is that this is how I discover that you can build like this.  I've also been building tile by tile...

Don't abuse of it. Or at least wait to build the external walls of the tower after finishing the floor, otherwise UristMcIamacompletemoron would wall himself out of reach.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uggh on October 25, 2012, 05:43:52 pm
I just realized that you don't have to type "construct" or "make" in the job manager screen to find the proper job.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on October 25, 2012, 06:50:57 pm
You don't have to type whole words either.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheKaspa on October 26, 2012, 10:10:12 am
In my world there is a Squirting continents... Toady what were you doing when inserting the names into the generator?!?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 0cu on October 26, 2012, 11:56:18 am
A forgotten beast disappeared in the (u)nits list so I opened my central staircase. You know what's going to happen..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Don Blake on October 26, 2012, 04:52:34 pm
A fairly minor one, but forgetting to check the relative positions of my dump zone and my new magma forge lead to me legendary weaponsmith getting smacked in the face with a severed goblin arm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: katana on October 26, 2012, 05:01:27 pm


They had prepared for months! Trained, planned, studied They could not fail. They were The Burning Torch!

(http://i.imgur.com/78EGF.png)

Fuck.

(http://i.imgur.com/Av9qU.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on October 26, 2012, 07:20:58 pm
I was testing some custom weapons in arena mode, when I accidentally genned an aardvark in full steel armor rather than the dwarf I had intended to after I forgot to filter names.

Then I spawned a proper dwarf, equipped with the same gear but on an opposing alliance...

Apparently, aardvarks are effective armor users. The thought of a dorf armed with a huge steel mechanized axe vainly wailing on an aardvark somehow geared in full steel armor is rather silly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist ZatRethol on October 27, 2012, 08:53:14 pm
Earlier today, I was being spammed with announcements saying the dwarfs were being interrupted by a cave crocodile while trying to drink, when I saw that I first wondered why the dwarfs were going into the cavern for water while I had plenty of booze. It was not until one dwarf died that I realized that the crocodile wasn't in the cavern, it was in the dining room with half of the dwarven population.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: katwithk on October 29, 2012, 08:16:51 am
The moment of pride:

Urist McMacedwarf takes on three trolls by himself, and manages to one-hit one and kill the another without injury. The third one is injured and turns tail like a bitch, the macedwarf is still unharmed.

The facepalm:

The trolls runs away into the river.
The macedwarf follows him.
In full iron plate armor.
With no swimming skill.
Than passes out from exhaustion (If I'm reading right, he was also beating the troll underwater, props for determination)
And drowns.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bigheaded on October 29, 2012, 12:53:41 pm
Quote from: katwithk on October 29, 2012, 08:16:51 am
The moment of pride:

Urist McMacedwarf takes on three trolls by himself, and manages to one-hit one and kill the another without injury. The third one is injured and turns tail like a bitch, the macedwarf is still unharmed.

The facepalm:

The trolls runs away into the river.
The macedwarf follows him.
In full iron plate armor.
With no swimming skill.
Than passes out from exhaustion (If I'm reading right, he was also beating the troll underwater, props for determination)
And drowns.

sadly pretty common, dodging into water also stinks, i might have to start building walls to prevent stuff from getting to it :P
I think legendary guys have less trouble with it. partly because trolls generally last 3 hits against my legendary swordsdwarf, and he + she (got 2 :P ) catch them pretty fast. i've still had to set emergency channel designations and hope the miners get there in time, although the last time i did this, the dwarf just wandered out of the water without help with no swimming ability.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: katwithk on October 29, 2012, 05:57:46 pm
I'm building a "wading room" to train dwarves in swimming. This will be mandatory for all melee based military personnel
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Coaldiamond on October 29, 2012, 11:11:18 pm
Been a while since I played, but this recent fort of mine shows just how rusty I am. An armorsmith goes into a mood and needs metal bars, which I do not yet have in my early, yet overcrowded fort. No problem, I'll just go mine some of this tetrahedrite down in the caverous depths. Meanwhile, a miner on the surface collapses a hill on top of himself, causing me to become distracted as the other miners tear into an unrevealed part of the cavern, and release a forgotten beast into my fort. Said beastie immediately kills my incredibly popular mayor. Cue tantrum spiral. The 8 survivors had to bury 48 bodies while being harassed by restless ghosts.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: esran on October 30, 2012, 02:38:07 pm
after my danger room trains my dwarf to legendary in shield and weapon use, i notice he is walking very slowly. he has almost no armour use skill. i decide to remove his weapon and shield in order to train his armour use. years later when i send him out to kill some goblins he is promtly shot through the brain with an arrow. but how did he fail to block it?! i never gave him back his shield.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on October 30, 2012, 03:12:50 pm
In my fort I have had a total of two weaponsmith moods.
Both of them made bluemetal weapons.
One was a hammer, the other was a crossbow.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: solarr on November 02, 2012, 06:55:40 pm
craftsman made an
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
mace

a twig with a chunk of styrofoam is more effective
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on November 02, 2012, 07:09:32 pm
My sapiocoatls can fly. They need to have a land path to path anywhere, but then can use their abilities to shorten said path.

Such as flying onto the wall, where a land path no longer exists.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SDH on November 02, 2012, 08:37:40 pm
After a Forgotten Beast with a dust attack paralyzed and killed half my army I got a huge influx of immigrants that drafted immediately. When half of my army died off again I assumed it was the rest of the original soldiers...no, the new recruits were being poisoned by the dust on all of my armor and weapons. It only took 40 dead dorfs for me to realize what had happened, and by then the tantrum spiral had started and my Captain of the Guard got to murder 4 lawbreakers before he too was paralyzed and died. It was so bad I started picking fights with merchants to try and get them to kill off my fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: solarr on November 03, 2012, 07:32:43 am
Quote from: Neruz on April 21, 2009, 01:19:35 am
Deciding to sell a captured Dragon (stored next to my booze stockpile) to the Elves for kicks.

Yeahh.
im new, dont get this

my WHYYY thread
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zaffre on November 03, 2012, 07:43:48 am
Quote from: solarr on November 03, 2012, 07:32:43 am
Quote from: Neruz on April 21, 2009, 01:19:35 am
Deciding to sell a captured Dragon (stored next to my booze stockpile) to the Elves for kicks.

Yeahh.
im new, dont get this

my WHYYY thread
Elves are pro-animal.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AutomataKittay on November 03, 2012, 08:28:26 am
Quote from: Zaffre on November 03, 2012, 07:43:48 am
Quote from: solarr on November 03, 2012, 07:32:43 am
Quote from: Neruz on April 21, 2009, 01:19:35 am
Deciding to sell a captured Dragon (stored next to my booze stockpile) to the Elves for kicks.

Yeahh.
im new, dont get this

my WHYYY thread
Elves are pro-animal.
I imagine the dragon wasn't tamed yet, with predictible result, to be poste din here
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HiEv on November 03, 2012, 09:34:05 am
Quote from: solarr on November 03, 2012, 07:32:43 am
Quote from: Neruz on April 21, 2009, 01:19:35 am
Deciding to sell a captured Dragon (stored next to my booze stockpile) to the Elves for kicks.

Yeahh.
im new, dont get this

my WHYYY thread

I'm guessing the dragon was being held in a cage, and when he tried to bring the dragon to the trade depot, he accidentally told the dwarves to only bring the dragon, instead of the cage containing the dragon.  Thus the dwarf lets the dragon out of its cage, the dragon proceeds to set fire to everything in its vicinity, including the booze stockpile, which then proceeds to boil/burn away his entire alcohol supply (unfortunately, burning alcohol doesn't explode in DF, though some seem to think it does).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zaffre on November 03, 2012, 09:58:03 am
Recently, I breached the cavern layer. At the time, I had no defense save for a bridge and some stone fall traps. A helmet snake came in from the caverns and killed my legendary Miner and master Mason. Why? They all used blunt attacks on the snake's head. Helmet snakes have armor on their heads, so they laugh at blunt attacks. It ended up getting killed by a child who was sober enough to hit it somewhere other than the head. Kid stomped on its body and crushed it to death.

By then though a tantrum spiral had begun anyway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nuker1110 on November 04, 2012, 12:44:08 pm
Removing a ramp with a pre-existing digging designation, before figuring out that channeling UP with a ramp designation worked, thus trapping my only miner, and only pick, in a hole in the ground to starve, and haunt my fortress, killing all but the mason/engraver, who recorded everything on a wall prior to his death(again by starvation).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: vanatteveldt on November 05, 2012, 10:00:01 am
Having two dwarfs working on a magma chamber for some forges. One dwarf digs the chamber, the other channels the entrance. The second should have waited for the first to finish his digging. And his cat should probably have stayed out in the first place...

Same fortress, digging a magma channel for a defensive moat. Put a green glass floodgate in to be able to drain it later. Didn't think that channeling from above creates a channel 2 levels high. And a floodgate is only one high. And the moat is only one deep. And it connects directly to my general storage area. Now where is that backup file....

Edit: And then after I restored the backup and quickly built a wall on the second level (I made the backup *after* breaching the magma /fp) I want to make a second bridge over the magma, on the same level as the first, and breach it *before* the wall... so the magma gets in anyway. /fp!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jryan on November 05, 2012, 04:20:03 pm
I was blessed with the rarest of rare maps this weekend in thecurrent version: shallow AND deep metal, flux, clay, sand, cobaltite, aquifer, a long freeze season AND the most rare of them all - a non-conical volcano.  This volcano actually breached the surface at the bottom of a shallow ravine.  The rest of the map was mostly flat about 4 Z levels above the mouth.  moderately forested, lost of plants to be gathered for fermenting.  It was beautiful.  Dwarf heaven.

I spent a year working with the freeze cycle to get a nice shaft through the aquifer, built a wonderful sleeping area, and the room that would be my much loved magma forge room.  Channels dug, everything in place, all that was left was to tunnel to the magma and then channel the last tile from above.

But I was clumsy and tunneled in to the chamber through a diagonal hole, and to make matters worse, my dwarves with nothing to do were all gathering the gems and ore I had just dug out.  Of all the 9 dwarves in my fort, only 1 wasn't in that tunnel when the lava came.  It was the cook who was in my wonderful kitchen making lavish meals to celebrate the grand opening of our forge.

He was so sad... he was probably eating while crying for days.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: martinuzz on November 05, 2012, 09:06:53 pm
I prevented a very serious facepalm, when I had a moment of insight, just before a dwarf arrived to channel out a tile. Over my main water line. Which is 5 z-levels over pressure from the point where I was about to channel over it. That would have kinda drowned 90% of my fort. I did facepalm, but it could have been a lot harder.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: djsmiley2k on November 07, 2012, 08:17:55 am
Over the last two months or so, during free time at work...... I've read this whole thread.

<facepalm>.


Nothing like coming prepared for failure eh? ;)

I have many facepalms, and now I've read all these, I'm sure I can come up with some more interesting ones to add to the tales of glory..... such as the first time I ever got someone to axe lord status, then I had build some "towers" with bridges to move dwarfs from some really high point on my map down a stairwell to a lower part, and the axe lord was fighting a gobbo at the top for ages.

I presumed he was going to be awhile, they didn't move very much at all - Pull the leaver - Pulled.....

Suddenly the gobbo legs it to the bridge, he is launched directly up and then down, comes down splattered over the floor. At the same moment my axelord dodged something - an stray arrow from a gobbo hidden in the bushes maybe...... yes, he dodged straight off the edge of the now lowered again bridge, to his doom :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Klitri on November 07, 2012, 10:36:02 am
When teh dorfs went wandering through the newly dug sewer system (For my execution trap...). Shame on them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on November 07, 2012, 02:56:35 pm
my last four metal artifacts were two bluemetal crossbows, a splint, and a hammer, also bluemetal.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: laularukyrumo on November 08, 2012, 12:06:41 am
Linking levers and bridges for enemy repulsion, I tested the lever without checking to see if the bridges were clear.

One dwarf was in the wrong place and got flung like, 20 tiles back, up some stairs, and a few more tiles. Hit the ground hard enough to bruise his -heart-.

Needless to say, never made THAT mistake again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Knick on November 08, 2012, 09:01:03 am
Just had to abandon my fort in the first year.  I wrongly assumed there was sufficient soil to plant underground, failed to set up an irrigation system, and ran out of food.  I might try to reclaim.  It was a really good spot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: knutor on November 08, 2012, 10:14:52 pm
Soldier: Is this cauliflower ear?
Doc: Ya, this is how we fix cauliflower ear around here. 
Doc helps Soldier onto table.  Straps him down, cranks a few levers, pulls him out in traction. 
Soldier: My spine never felt so good.  Hows this going to fix my ear?
Doc: You'll be right as rain.  Gotta run, bye.
18 days passes.
Soldier: Help! Someone get me off this torture table.
Hauler trips over lever, releasing Soldier.  Oops, the Hauler scurries off down the hall, trying not to look too guilty.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scootagoose on November 10, 2012, 12:08:44 am
I was trying to have my fortress, MarkedCheeses, go out with a bang. I opened up the circus and had my warriors ready. Thing is, my baron was in the squad along with the diplomat, I had my dwarves attack the clowns in a rectangle and ended up ordering them to attack the diplomat, causing a loyalty cascade in the middle of a clown invasion.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Catstorm on November 11, 2012, 08:32:13 pm
My fortress Crystalskulls was going well until I decided to become self-sustainable and stop worrying about the well out in the open and the trees. I got my miners to dig down into a cavern and make use of the water there. My entire fortress was ravaged by a cave crocodile and withered.

I got a second group to reclaim it. The caverns were still open, so blind cave ogres were loose and I lost one of the seven downing them. I then lost one of my two miners in a cave, stuck in a web, causing the other miner to tantrum, heavily suffering under his death and the many ghosts of the former group whose bodies were mostly in the caverns and could not be claimed (especially noted are the efforts of one ghost who killed like 5 dwarves or tore off their limbs very often. He got an engraving.) He cried on the shoulder of my expedition leader in anguish.

 Then a forgotten beast entered the map and I managed to wall it off until it was in the lower cavern. Then I decided to keep the beast in the lower cavern and recover the bodies in the upper so I opened the entrance and designated to close the tunnel to the lower one but my dorfs just wouldn't build the wall and would rather go on reclaim item runs. So the forgotten beast and its buddies decided to slay 3/4 of my military before succumbing with the help of the human caravan present.

With the massive gap in the force, I could only hope to keep the very obtrusive troglodytes away. Then at the same time a goblin invasion occurred and my whole military was devastated. A child went berzerk and wouldn't stop punching a dwarf and my only military member who wasn't bedridden had to down him. A second goblin invasion finally killed my fortress outright.

All of this could have been prevented if I hadn't opened that cavern up. :|

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on November 11, 2012, 09:37:12 pm
Quote from: Scootagoose on November 10, 2012, 12:08:44 am
I was trying to have my fortress, MarkedCheeses, go out with a bang. I opened up the circus and had my warriors ready. Thing is, my baron was in the squad along with the diplomat, I had my dwarves attack the clowns in a rectangle and ended up ordering them to attack the diplomat, causing a loyalty cascade in the middle of a clown invasion.
How is this a face palm? Sounds like you more then accomplished your objective.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: terko on November 12, 2012, 12:52:23 am
Quote from: Catstorm on November 11, 2012, 08:32:13 pm
All of this could have been prevented if I hadn't opened that cavern up. :|

Wrong, it would have become even worse better.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hanslanda on November 12, 2012, 01:16:20 am
Quote from: misko27 on November 11, 2012, 09:37:12 pm
Quote from: Scootagoose on November 10, 2012, 12:08:44 am
I was trying to have my fortress, MarkedCheeses, go out with a bang. I opened up the circus and had my warriors ready. Thing is, my baron was in the squad along with the diplomat, I had my dwarves attack the clowns in a rectangle and ended up ordering them to attack the diplomat, causing a loyalty cascade in the middle of a clown invasion.
How is this a face palm? Sounds like you more then accomplished your objective.


In fact, this is one of the most awesome fortress ends I've ever heard about. It would make an excellent story.
"We must slay the diplomat!"
They do.
"Traitorous bastards!" They all cry at each other.
Fighting begins.
Demons arrive.
Fighting gets... Extremely complicated.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eoganachta on November 12, 2012, 05:53:23 am
Building a duel magma/water pump stack that is currently hooked up fill a massive natural cistern (read: hole) at the top of a mountain. I was going to use this as a massive water/magma tower to store fluid to plumb my fort and wash out invaders. The first problem was the seasonal change where my only renewable water source is frozen for half the year. To fix this I tried to heat the water sources with magma underneath piping it in from a volcano. A single tile corridor was too slow so I tried to channel the walls out from the z level above. Dwarves tried to stand on the tiles they were channelling and a few burnt to death. As this was happening several dwarves got incinerated by my magma refuse disposal system and pummelled by falling refuse from garbage piles falling on top of them. I couldn't see what was happening because of all the smoke. Gave up when mothers started catching fire while clutching their burning children. Magma mist is more dangerous than I thought.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bartholomew The Pious on November 12, 2012, 11:49:32 am
Just today I was setting up a simple 10 squad danger room. Everything else is okay, except for a wonky mistake I made by building 10 seperate weapon traps in lieu of upright spikes. Then I realize levers cannot activate weapon traps.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nekoexmachina on November 13, 2012, 10:38:29 am
So, my crossbo'/axe dorf got an order to kill human lasher.
While trading with those petty beardless loosers.
All the traders except the lasher were locked in special trade^W merchanttortune-room.
He attacked him with f*n wooden bolts. Of course got attacked back with a whip, broking his right arm. OK so next guy takes steel axe, chops lasher's leg and dies from a broken head.
Well, I can wait. Some month passed. Lasher did not get in the fortress, traders still were staying in their special room. While that, I've made some silver bolts (I've got more silver than iron lol).
So my crossbow guy had his hand fixed. Still broken thou he got out from the hospital. So I take him and command him to attack that damn lasher again. And he does it.. With the f*kn same wooden bolts. Now he's got both legs broken and 1 arm broken, again. And he is ecstatic. From the moment he was rescued he was friggin ecstatic.
*fplm*
I was aaaangry at him than. Made a command of 10 peasant like loosers, gave him metal weapon usage orders and kill that bastard.. You should'v seen it. 10 guys with no skills, 1 guy with some skills (it should take some skills to break bones through steel armor of masterful q), no victims on my side, he was torn to little lifeless pieces. I've came ecstatic that moment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tamber on November 13, 2012, 01:35:01 pm
(Playing with a freshly modded-in Draconic race. Why? Because.)

Hmm. Badgers? That's going to make things interesting; hopefully they stay far enough away from ...
The Herbalist breathes fire
...shit.

And now most of the map is ankle-deep ashes! \o/

Lin, leader: *sigh* ...the elves are gonna have a field day with this.
Alpeth, fisher: No pun intended?
Lin: ... *twists Alpeth's head off*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on November 13, 2012, 09:05:22 pm
Not so much a facepalm for the dwarves as for me.

After a lot of false starts and button presses I finally got a minecart spiral ramp set up, and I was planning to (slowly) flood the world to see how far the magma would get with this setup. Two of the four ramps were at ground level and at that point I was too fed up to extend it. When I do this properly I'm going to orient everything so that the pumps, waterwheels, and half of the rollers don't need their directions changing. I'm not sure whether this is more or less annoying to set up than a pump stack...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: infinityc0mplex on November 14, 2012, 12:22:06 am
Urist McDumbass, Mason cancels Construct Building: Creature occupying site

Yeah that would happen if you're standing where the wall you're building is supposed to be.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chaz GELF on November 14, 2012, 11:33:01 am
Realising that dwarves will claim beds on their own, without me having to designate every single bed to every single dwarf. (At least I think that's how it works, right?)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AutomataKittay on November 14, 2012, 11:43:09 am
Quote from: Chaz GELF on November 14, 2012, 11:33:01 am
Realising that dwarves will claim beds on their own, without me having to designate every single bed to every single dwarf. (At least I think that's how it works, right?)
Yep, if they can path to bed and it's avaliable for taking, they'll grab it when they get sleepy. The exception is hunters and anyone that don't sleeps. I'm pretty sure soldiers will claim beds if they're set to allow it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scootagoose on November 14, 2012, 04:52:42 pm
Quote from: Hanslanda on November 12, 2012, 01:16:20 am
Quote from: misko27 on November 11, 2012, 09:37:12 pm
Quote from: Scootagoose on November 10, 2012, 12:08:44 am
I was trying to have my fortress, MarkedCheeses, go out with a bang. I opened up the circus and had my warriors ready. Thing is, my baron was in the squad along with the diplomat, I had my dwarves attack the clowns in a rectangle and ended up ordering them to attack the diplomat, causing a loyalty cascade in the middle of a clown invasion.
How is this a face palm? Sounds like you more then accomplished your objective.


In fact, this is one of the most awesome fortress ends I've ever heard about. It would make an excellent story.
"We must slay the diplomat!"
They do.
"Traitorous bastards!" They all cry at each other.
Fighting begins.
Demons arrive.
Fighting gets... Extremely complicated.
You guys may be right.

Recently, I decided to try to capture a a forgotten beast and make a trap with him, problem is that Urist McVeryImportant warrior decided that he wanted a helmet that I forgot to forbid, Que me minimizing the screen and finding out about half my fortress was piled on top of each other, trying to get eachother's corpses.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chaz GELF on November 14, 2012, 07:29:35 pm
Another one from me: Finding out from a friend that while attempting to satisfy a very picky mayor's needs, I was actually making matters worse by making each object in the room a room of its own, thus splitting up the value between all of the rooms in this square of floor. I thought I had to do that in order to make sure that the mayor knew all the items in the room belonged to him, but as soon as I removed the room assignments on everything but the things necessary to make said rooms, he was satisfied with the rooms' quality.

That got rather confusing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: minecartnage on November 15, 2012, 04:49:57 pm
Set up a fortress. Everything was running smoothly.
A few hours after embark, one dwarf dies of old age sending the entire fortress into a tantrum spiral.

wat
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JimDale on November 15, 2012, 08:08:57 pm
Tried to set up a bridgeanutapult for launching goblins. It wouldn't work the first few times I was using it, so I fumbled around some more with it. After an hour or so of no luck and around 25 reconstructions, I finally remembered I had to use the wadxs keys to change the configuration.

Then, bam. It's done. Gleefully I assign over 50 of my prisoners to be set on the bridge, launching all of them in turn and in groups and happily watching the glorious explosions of gore on my castle walls.

However, all of a sudden, I get the message " 'Urist McVon Baron' has been found dead." Panicked, I check the piles of gore on my front porch for his remains, and discover his mutilated corpse as well as the damn HUMAN DIPLOMAT'S DEAD CARCASS.

So now, I'm pretty sure I'll have to fight a war with iron and steel-clad humans while I've barely found any iron ore in this embark. Ugh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on November 16, 2012, 12:48:02 am
Quote from: JimDale on November 15, 2012, 08:08:57 pm
Tried to set up a bridgeanutapult for launching goblins. It wouldn't work the first few times I was using it, so I fumbled around some more with it. After an hour or so of no luck and around 25 reconstructions, I finally remembered I had to use the wadxs keys to change the configuration.

Then, bam. It's done. Gleefully I assign over 50 of my prisoners to be set on the bridge, launching all of them in turn and in groups and happily watching the glorious explosions of gore on my castle walls.

However, all of a sudden, I get the message " 'Urist McVon Baron' has been found dead." Panicked, I check the piles of gore on my front porch for his remains, and discover his mutilated corpse as well as the damn HUMAN DIPLOMAT'S DEAD CARCASS.

So now, I'm pretty sure I'll have to fight a war with iron and steel-clad humans while I've barely found any iron ore in this embark. Ugh.

First off, awesome job. Replace your entrance hallway with another bridgeapult or two and the siege should be a snap.

Second, humans don't get steel. But once you've flung them to death, you can recycle their iron into steel (assuming you have flux, at least) and out-equip them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on November 16, 2012, 05:05:43 am
I just caught myself planning to keep my animals safe by killing their owners and then putting them in cages so no one ever brings them anywhere dangerous.

. . . you know what? Fuck it. I'm doing it anyway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on November 16, 2012, 06:40:56 am
From 34.0x - first appearance of undead > 34.11

Fun with minecarts.

I had apparently forgotten the power of undead, thinking they were still as weak as sticks like before.

I visited a tomb.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chaz GELF on November 17, 2012, 01:32:06 am
Another facepalm moment, this time not because of my actions, but because of one of my dwarves' actions. Urist McCraftsdwarf got taken by a Possessed mood, but instead of claiming a workshop, he just went to his bedroom and did nothing until going stark raving mad.

Actually, now that I've typed that, it is a facepalm moment for me in hindsight. I didn't have the workshop he wanted so he had no choice but to sit around listlessly in his bedroom until he went bonkers. Whoops.

I managed to catch Urist McWeaponsmith's secretive mood before he went mad though, and he made a legendary trifle pewter battleaxe. This seems to have made almost everyone in my fort happy, according to DwarfTherapist at least.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pukako on November 17, 2012, 02:27:57 am
Accidental collision between my central corridor containing all the booze and levels, and my subtle magma moat project... One of the risks of having the fortress entrance right next to the crater of an active volcano...

Nothing like seeing a carefully constructed fortress spanning 75 levels (one for each dwarf) plummet to 2 in a very short time.

A stonecrafter running to the edge of the map under the guise of 'penning a large animal', and the mayor sitting in the doomed forgeworks, watching the magma flow in, clutching a barrel of dwarven rum...

I'll miss you, Quakemirrors...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nezumi on November 17, 2012, 04:42:12 am
I had a pretty nice throne room set up for my mayor/manager, who, more importantly, was also my Legendary +5 glass maker.  It even had clear glass and gem windows overlooking my courtyard, and the valley below.

But then I forgot that windows don't count as floor in the square above them unlike constructed walls.  So one Goblin Chrismas, what's that on the rooftop but jolly 'ol saint Goblin Crossbowman?  Literally the only way my mayor could be shot is diagonally down 1 z level.  If only the draft from that gap had caused an unhappy thought or something, maybe tragedy could have been prevented.  Sadly, there will be no masterwork clear glass statues in anyone's stockings this year.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scootagoose on November 17, 2012, 11:12:43 pm
Currently, a crippled dwarf keeps giving my "URIST ANNOYING CANCELED BLAH: TOO INJURED" so I wanted to arrange an unfortunate accident. Apparently, he is too crippled to report a crime, but not too crippled to kill a damn kobold thief while on duty.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: misko27 on November 17, 2012, 11:18:29 pm
Quote from: Scootagoose on November 17, 2012, 11:12:43 pm
Currently, a crippled dwarf keeps giving my "URIST ANNOYING CANCELED BLAH: TOO INJURED" so I wanted to arrange an unfortunate accident. Apparently, he is too crippled to report a crime, but not too crippled to kill a damn kobold thief while on duty.
Well, you are certainly annoyed. Question, is he capable of using his arms? Handless dwarves do spam. Remove his jobs. Cripple him and send him off to the hospital. Or just drop a cave-in on his head.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scootagoose on November 18, 2012, 12:10:24 am
Quote from: misko27 on November 17, 2012, 11:18:29 pm
Quote from: Scootagoose on November 17, 2012, 11:12:43 pm
Currently, a crippled dwarf keeps giving my "URIST ANNOYING CANCELED BLAH: TOO INJURED" so I wanted to arrange an unfortunate accident. Apparently, he is too crippled to report a crime, but not too crippled to kill a damn kobold thief while on duty.
Well, you are certainly annoyed. Question, is he capable of using his arms? Handless dwarves do spam. Remove his jobs. Cripple him and send him off to the hospital. Or just drop a cave-in on his head.
Yeah. He is handless. and yeah, sounds like a good idea. Time to arrange a cave-in.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: knutor on November 18, 2012, 12:54:45 am
Thinking I could turn 7 levels of magma all into obsidian by dripping one piped stream of water, over top of it.  *facepalm*  All I got was lots and lots of cave-in messages, but no obsidian.  There should be a pyramid of obsidian block down there.  I've got half a mind to turn on /nopause and see if one eventually forms.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chessrook44 on November 18, 2012, 12:54:18 pm
Made a whole lot of mining for my magma forges.  Dug out the forge room, the magma channels, the ore storage, the lever room and floodgates, cut a channel for the magma.......and nothing happened.

Turned out I built everything one level too high.  So now I'm working on a small reactor and pump system to raise the magma one level.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lastrix on November 18, 2012, 07:52:18 pm
So i made a really happy embark with 10k juicy stones on it. Made a first settlement and i read some "face palm moments". Actually i stopped at Reply #7105 when one of my xbow-dwarfs get hit at second summer... without hospital  it died quickly, and she made other 2 dwarfs, her best friends, miserable. When they died - more dwarfs start tantruming around! They nearly destroyed all my work, the castle survived with some dwarfs onboard, migrants became new fuel soon.

I thought that worst was in past and wont be again.

I decided to lower my natural map elevation, typed "fastdwarfs 1 1" in dfhack console. Don't i mention that i lost 2 dwarfs? They collided with ground, i don't know why they came at diged spot.
Still okay, noone cares - just an expendable.

After map flattening i decided to clean map from those crappy rocks and really huge pile of tattered cloth, so what i did? EUREKA! I opened stocks -> stone and setted all to dump, then i go to armor...

Actually i wasn't sure why that wave of FUN have started. When i looked at dwarfs inventory i saw only cloaks. :facepalm:
No problem! i tried to make 150 of each type... okay only tunics and trousers was ready when those expendable started another fortress destraction. Now i was prepeared!

You have a tantrum problem? It's no problem! Mr. Watery Pit at your service! Sadly only 9(+1 baby +1 6yo child for total of 11) dwarfs leaft alive. Actually i have selected 18 dwarfs for surviving. A good duke noble, planter, miner, leatherworker and armorsmith.
But duke, planter and some miners was forced to take a magma shower.

As a result my fortress was defended from evil dwarfs and cleared from any garbage they may leave. Now i'm trying to continue with some juicy-stone, just for future needs. Also i made some coins, hope this would help me with room assignment (it's crap when newly created fine bedroom get claimed by a... hauler!).
BTW does steel cloth tatters?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lastrix on November 18, 2012, 07:52:37 pm
double posted, see previous message.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ace_Warbringer on November 18, 2012, 09:32:05 pm
Building an Obsidian caster in my current Volcano fortress.
I'm operating under the restriction of no cheap stones. Obsidian and marble only.

due to my "perceived"  knowledge on this subject I made several checks and cutoffs to regulate this beast.

now due to an iron shortage, i only have one iron pump (so far). but my plan calls for three to fill magma into the caster.

In a hurry i decided to fill the caster so i activated the perpetual power plant (one copper screw pump+water wheel)

Two problems immediatly show up.

One:  A Floodgate was closed and blocked the path of the magma. This back-filled into the pump and powerplant area.  :-[
Two: adding to this the water was still filling the power plant.

I now have some obsidian to mine out, just not in the spot i wanted it.  (Facepalm)

however this is not a fortress ender due to my shutoffs and the obsidian blockages.

Good planing, bad planing, I Guess
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scootagoose on November 18, 2012, 11:07:10 pm
Speaking of magma. I was creating a magma trap, but it backfired completely. It seemed I pulled the wrong lever, flooded a nobles room with magma which in turn leaked out into my dining hall, causing many deaths....I didn't see this because I was making a damn sandwich.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chessrook44 on November 18, 2012, 11:09:37 pm
Quote from: Scootagoose on November 18, 2012, 11:07:10 pm
Speaking of magma. I was creating a magma trap, but it backfired completely. It seemed I pulled the wrong lever, flooded a nobles room with magma which in turn leaked out into my dining hall, causing many deaths....I didn't see this because I was making a damn sandwich.
Which was the backfire, the flooding of the noble's room, or the leaking?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 0cu on November 19, 2012, 05:58:20 am
Just crushed on of my three Legendary Speardwarf/Proficient Teacher with a drawbridge. Ouch.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yoink on November 19, 2012, 06:13:12 am
The phrase "damn sandwich" made me smile for some reason- as though "damn" is a sandwich topping of some kind. :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Raikaria on November 19, 2012, 07:06:42 am
'A section of the cavern has collapsed!' 'A section of the cavern has collapsed!' 'A section of the cavern has collapsed!'

I look to see Urist Mc Miners unconcious and badly hurt, with Urist Mc Mayor above them, having caused the cave-ins.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: infinityc0mplex on November 19, 2012, 02:13:48 pm
Today (as in two minutes ago) I learned an important lesson. Before your fort becomes besieged by a much better equipped army, make sure the bridge that closes your fort up is actually the type that raises up and not one that retracts, leaving your fort completely open.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yuli Vlasi on November 20, 2012, 01:49:46 pm
Back when i started playing this game I didn't know dwarves could travel between z-levels without a staircase or a ramp. As I started digging out staircases for every z-level on the map I noticed my dwarfs running around on places i thought they shouldn't be able to. My conclusion? Obviously, I thought, I can see my dwarves through multiple z-levels when they are laboring. The funny triangles everywhere on the map (slopes)? Distraction.

Later I tried to create a fortress on a volcano. Huge swarms of keas circled around my dwarves and stole almost EVERYTHING before I even dug out the first room.

A kea has gone of with a fungiwood barrel. How is that even possible?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: knutor on November 20, 2012, 04:02:27 pm
Tweak Makeown from DFhack.  Did it on a dwarf riding a wagon.  He immediately generated a strangemood.  Not sure if its guaranteed everytime, but this time that's what happened.  Couldn't get him off the damn wagon to claim his craftstation..  He said strange mood in user list, but did not have the blinking !, just a ?

Figured that meant.. umm hey overlord you dumbshit, I cannot get off this wagon.  So.. I decided to Slayrace Equipment_Wagon and Slayrace Horse, now he's happily pushing out an wooden puzzlebox artifcat..  But I have no idea if I'll ever see another Horse or not.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheCoolSideofthePIllow on November 23, 2012, 05:52:48 pm
It's been a while since I played, and I just tried to build an upward stair case on a built (not carved, then smoothed) floor.

CANNOT BUILD: CONSTRUCTION PRESENT.

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v251/necro-file/picard-facepalm.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gigmaster on November 23, 2012, 08:10:28 pm
I hate that!! Grr...

My face palm moment that happened like a minute ago. Fortressforge was a pretty mature 4-year fort. 84 people, several legendary crafters, and a kickass black opal window with platinum and palm framing. It was also straddling a great river, across from which were four necromancer towers (not kidding - it was like the damn things were being marched towards my dwarf civ like Terran Starcraft bunkers.) I was reasonably proud of it.

There I was, making a bunch of airlocks and barricades inside a passage that led to a giant adamantine vein in my 3rd cavern layer. But it wasn't the clowns that got me... it was the single, stealthed necromancer that crept in, past my three talented marksdwarves on the parapets, past the six tethered guard dogs, past the trade caravan inside my main landing below the aquifier layer, and stumbled across my diagonally-sealed dead body dump I had made back during the forts conception. That thing had a stack of bodies pages long.

So I'm making little supply rooms down at layer -5, and all of a sudden there's like 100 incomming job cancellations. "What the fuck??" Go I. I head to the unit page... and I discover that I now have 293 undead corpses shambling through my workshop area, and I'm down to 15 units; it was a literal explosion of undead zombies.

Esc->Abandon Fort->Yes. /game

ALWAYS ATOM SMASH CORPSES!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mooglit on November 24, 2012, 01:34:11 am
Settled quite cozily in a nice spot near a couple of Towers. 'Look good on the horizon' thought I.
For safe-keeping, I walled my dwarves up, and gave them a couple bridges, linked up for safety's sake.
'I'll have a tunnel beneath my fort-entrance to allow the caravan in, though. Because trading is fun.' Continued my modest mind-set.
I became so wound up in my dwarves adorable antics, I somehow forgot to bridge off that tunnel sneaking beneath the bowels of my fort, popping right in the middle of it.

'Oh look!' I said with suprise. 'An invasion! What fun! I've never had this kind before! Well, everyone's inside, I'll just close up... my.. ...Bridge-ohsweetlordyno'

And I watched as the undead merrily poured into the depths of my so delicately laid out fort, and made friends with my Dwarves.

3 Adventurer attempts and a reclaim later to clear the place out and I gave up. ; n ; I'm so sorry, Steelscoured.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vrakanas on November 24, 2012, 02:45:08 pm
There might be a hole where my face was after this.

I built myself a near impenatrable fort, complete with pillboxes, full trapped security, and a marksdwarf force 100 strong.

However when I  rigged up my draw bridge....I didn't channel out the ice I mined it. and thus there was a nice icy path right into my base....

187 gobs, 18 trolls, mostly gobbo crossbowmen, the rest were spearmasters. With the exception of my Baron, (ironically the chief medical dwarf and my namebearer) they were all slaughtered. Even the puppies.

And so now I'm debating, reclaim, or play another civ in the world untill the damn gobs leave so I can just reclaim all that sweet green glass I had crafted.

And thus, I have !!FUN!! whether I wanted it or not.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McKoga on November 27, 2012, 02:22:50 pm
I hate when my Armorer make 15 masterfull right gauntlets and none of left =(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scootagoose on November 29, 2012, 05:09:49 pm
Quote from: Urist McKoga on November 27, 2012, 02:22:50 pm
I hate when my Armorer make 15 masterfull right gauntlets and none of left =(

Or when they decide it's a good idea to waste all of my steel on said right gauntlets.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Silverlock on November 30, 2012, 10:57:11 pm
Quote from: Scootagoose on November 29, 2012, 05:09:49 pm
Quote from: Urist McKoga on November 27, 2012, 02:22:50 pm
I hate when my Armorer make 15 masterfull right gauntlets and none of left =(

Or when they decide it's a good idea to waste all of my steel on said right gauntlets.

Could be worse: my doctor keeps using my adamantine strands for sutures.  That wouldn't be so bad if it let you produce a six-million-urist dwarf or something, but such is not the case.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Blackadder on December 01, 2012, 12:04:53 am
So this really isn't a Dwarf Fortress Facepalm, but I read yesterday's (11/29/12) dev log update, and I was somewhat tired, so I just skimmed through it at first, and my eyes caught the part that said "They've acquired Dwarf Fortress." and I almost died xD. I then realized that Toady was referring to a museum exhibit. Well played.

(As a side note, how incredible is it for Dwarf Fortress to be included alongside classics such as Pac-Man, Tetris, Myst and... Katamari? Still pretty amazing xD)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vrakanas on December 01, 2012, 04:34:31 pm
Well, remember those gobs and trolls that totally ruined my perfect fort. It seems it wasn't so bad after all. They saved it this time.

Yeah ironic eh? Those murdering greenskins actually are friendlies now and fended off several ambushes and a particularly nasty kobby siege.
Yay goblin spearmasters.....well....that was entirely undwarflike of me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scootagoose on December 02, 2012, 12:53:27 am
Quote from: Silverlock on November 30, 2012, 10:57:11 pm
Quote from: Scootagoose on November 29, 2012, 05:09:49 pm
Quote from: Urist McKoga on November 27, 2012, 02:22:50 pm
I hate when my Armorer make 15 masterfull right gauntlets and none of left =(

Or when they decide it's a good idea to waste all of my steel on said right gauntlets.

Could be worse: my doctor keeps using my adamantine strands for sutures.  That wouldn't be so bad if it let you produce a six-million-urist dwarf or something, but such is not the case.
Happens to me a lot, i ended up forbidding all of my adamantine.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: daemus on December 02, 2012, 02:07:58 am
I've been playing this game for only about 6 months.  First post here.

I was getting a bit bored with the usual rock crafts based economy in my forts, so I thought I'd switch things up and try out the textile industry.  Everything was going smoothly (other than my supplies of rock nuts disappearing for no discernible reason) until the third spring when I had my first siege.  Since my military wasn't very well equipped just yet (I had just finished construction of my magma forges), I quickly made a burrow consisting of the entire fort interior to get my citizens behind the surface walls and then raised my drawbridge.  Shortly thereafter, I saw dwarves cancelling drink orders due to having no water sources, and realized that while I had been preoccupied with the deep forges, I had emptied my wood stockpile.  My brewer had been slacking off for at least a couple months since he had no barrels to fill, and since there were a dozen goblin archers outside my walls, chopping new trees wasn't an option.

But, I knew how to deal with moments like this and had already picked out a good spot for a well on my hospital floor.  The well would draw from a reservoir that I would dig out next to a cavern lake which could be safely sealed off by a floodgate.  The construction would probably take about 3 minutes.

...Except as my miner begins to channel out the well, he just stops digging.  Stuck in the bottom of a 6 z-level pit he just dug, he decides to stop.  "No job" it says.

The floodgate and mechanisms are ready, more and more dwarves are complaining of thirst, and I'm wondering what kind of lazy my dehydrated miner must be to choose this moment to lay down on the job.  I have my other miners begin to dig another path to finish the well, ruining some of the aesthetics of my fortress layout in the process, but they too get about 90% to where they need to be, and then stop.

At this point I'm cursing loudly at the miners while the first dehydration death occurs, I immediately bring up dwarf therapist and make EVERYBODY a miner.  I skip the well entirely and simply designate the removal of a 3-tile thick wall on the cavern z-level so the population has access to the subterranean lake.  The workers arrive and dig out one.. two tiles.. and then STOP.  A 1-tile thick wall separates my thirsty fortress from an infinite supply of fresh water, and nobody seems to want to touch it.  Then the waves of dehydration deaths begin.

It is precisely at this moment that I realize: the citizens are still restricted to the burrow I just made.  The burrow which so happens to end exactly one tile away from the lake...

And... FACEPALM.

Of course, a quarter of the population is already dead by the time I am able to fix this error.  The tantrum spiral begins just as a mood fails.  In the chaos, someone flips the lever in the legendary dining hall which lowers the drawbridge.  A dozen elite goblin archers immediately charge my entrance.  Their rain of arrows make remarkably short work of my 30+ war dogs...

The population of my fort was 100+ before the siege began.  It is now 17 (including 2 babies).  The survivors are teetering on the brink of insanity in clouds of miasma as they try to clean all the blood from the floors and carry the countless bodies (and their many pieces) to the mass grave on the surface.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: XXSockXX on December 02, 2012, 07:45:45 am
Quote from: daemus on December 02, 2012, 02:07:58 am
I was getting a bit bored with the usual rock crafts based economy in my forts, so I thought I'd switch things up and try out the textile industry.  Everything was going smoothly (other than my supplies of rock nuts disappearing for no discernible reason) until the third spring when I had my first siege.  Since my military wasn't very well equipped just yet (I had just finished construction of my magma forges), I quickly made a burrow consisting of the entire fort interior to get my citizens behind the surface walls and then raised my drawbridge.  Shortly thereafter, I saw dwarves cancelling drink orders due to having no water sources, and realized that while I had been preoccupied with the deep forges, I had emptied my wood stockpile.  My brewer had been slacking off for at least a couple months since he had no barrels to fill, and since there were a dozen goblin archers outside my walls, chopping new trees wasn't an option.

To make you facepalm even bigger: Why didn't you make rock pots instead of barrels? Then you wouldn't have run out booze in the first place.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aviator CJ on December 02, 2012, 10:42:55 am
Quote from: XXSockXX on December 02, 2012, 07:45:45 am
To make you facepalm even bigger: Why didn't you make rock pots instead of barrels? Then you wouldn't have run out booze in the first place.

This. The moment I realised you could do this, I facepalmed at all the needless woodchopping I'd had done.

My most recent facepalm however came when I tried to fill a 2-level deep pit with water to try drowning some trolls. I dug out a tunnel and set up a pump to pump water through a carved fortification, and had a dwarf merrily pumping away, but the water level went nowhere. Then I remembered that the pit has an aquifer at the bottom, which was simply absorbing all the excess water.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: daemus on December 02, 2012, 01:00:50 pm
Quote from: XXSockXX on December 02, 2012, 07:45:45 am
To make you facepalm even bigger: Why didn't you make rock pots instead of barrels? Then you wouldn't have run out booze in the first place.

Well.... you see I..... The thing is....

............. I forgot about pots.

Also, I was planning on making the well anyway, so I figured hey what better time to get around to it than when everyone's dying of thirst during a siege?  If I could have got the well made in time, I wouldn't have had to worry about immediate production of pots/booze.

This also happened to be one of my first fortress designs that didn't incorporate a pond behind the defensive walls.  In the future, though, it would make more sense to skip the wooden barrels completely and start with rock pots from the get-go.  Now if only there was a way to make rock bins...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: usgreth on December 02, 2012, 06:02:13 pm
Captured a bronze colossus the other day. Today finished my arena death pit after a little interruption by elves and goblins. I thought they had finished building the colossus's cage by the pit when I told them to pit him. He inevitably escaped and had a little rampage before I could draw him back into a cage trap. I thought phew, and told everyone to return back to normal, however the pitting order was still active so some little numpty went and released the colossus again..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on December 02, 2012, 08:04:21 pm
Quote from: XXSockXX on December 02, 2012, 07:45:45 am
To make you facepalm even bigger: Why didn't you make rock pots instead of barrels? Then you wouldn't have run out booze in the first place.

even better: green glass pots. All you need is a magma fueled glass furnace and some shmuck hauler set to collect sand on repeat and presto-as many glass pots as you could want to fill.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Awessum Possum on December 03, 2012, 03:32:54 pm
I had two fails in quick succession earlier today, though the second wasn't entirely my fault.

The first fail, ALWAYS. CHECK. YOUR DESIGNATIONS. I had my miners mining out part of the 3rd cavern layer to make navigation easier, while this is happening I was all the way at the surface slabbing some of the casualties from Nx (I think that was his name) the green glass forgotten beast who had single handedly driven me out of the 1st cavern layer. So here I am slabbing away when I get this:

"You have discovered a great magma sea!"
"Raw Adamantine! Praise the miners!"
"A section of the cavern has collapsed!"
"The mandate of mayor Olon Zasolbor has ended."
I had misdesignated a tile and punched straight through to the magma sea, diorite boulders flew every where wounding several masons who were sealing of part of the caverns, and two legendary miners, including my mayor, fell into the magma sea and died. It was almost a month and two magma crab attacks later that the lava cleared up enough for me to cover the hole, at which point my next disaster occurred.


"Urist McMason cancels build wall: Interrupted by Crundle."
I looked and found a bunch of crundles milling about on top of my wall where they couldn't reach anyone, but could be easily seen and thus disrupt my work. So I deployed my two hammer lords (the only survivors from the battle with Nx) and mined a path to the crundles. The crundles were wiped out, but one of my hammer lords had been knocked out of action. Soon enough afterwards that no one had been able to recover the wounded, but long enough after that my healthy soldier had wandered off to get something to drink, a Reacher appears not more than three tiles away from my helpless hammer lord. After dispatching my hammer dwarf, the Reacher proceeded to chase my civilians around my little cavern enclave, every time one of the dwarves would get interrupted by the Reacher when trying to retrieve a crundle corpse, another dwarf would pick  up the job. My remaining soldier  spent a week drinking, and then, got half way to the caverns and decided to go back up stairs for a nap. Finally, the Reacher attacked a woods dwarf and lost his head, but it was still annoying.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on December 03, 2012, 05:53:00 pm
Decided to switch my military to copper shields during the last month of the season...

While they were wandering back and forth instead of training in the barracks, an ambush got into the main corridor. They were quickly dispatched by a trancing pickmaster, and I stationed the dwarves in the barracks area to try and get them to focus for a second. My legendary cook wandered by on a hauling job (god knows what for) just as all the military were away picking up stuff, and got splattered before the military got back.

I forgot I had a bridge that would seal off the fortress, and have had for several years. Oh well, I was going to raise the popcap anyway, and I have 252 units of unrendered fat and no place to store tallow. Training time!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DerNachbar on December 03, 2012, 06:17:48 pm
My Baron just went mad and the only reason for that seems to be some better tomb than his... I just had my militia kill him. Is that detail so important?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: XXSockXX on December 04, 2012, 03:52:18 am
Quote from: DerNachbar on December 03, 2012, 06:17:48 pm
My Baron just went mad and the only reason for that seems to be some better tomb than his... I just had my militia kill him. Is that detail so important?

If anybody (except for the king) has a better room (dining/bedroom/office/tomb), he gets a severe bad thought. This goes by tier, so if he has a "royal" room nobody of lower rank can have a "royal" room.
If he is not pretty ecstatic otherwise that thought can drive him over the edge. You need to make sure he gets enough happy thoughts from other things and check the rooms ("R") to make sure he has the best rooms.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bluefox on December 05, 2012, 12:18:16 am
Quote from: daemus on December 02, 2012, 01:00:50 pm
Now if only there was a way to make rock bins...

I always mod in a reaction to make rock bins.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I've had three facepalms recently.

The first was when I was puzzling about how to make humans survive worldgen. It turns out they have a much higher chance of surviving if you don't delete them entirely from the raws (I think it was the script I used to get rid of animalmen).

The second was when I was trying to get my jeweler to cut all those nice rough gems cluttering up the place so I could decorate and/or sell them. I must have scrolled a little too fast through the list, because I ended up with a lot of marble cachabons ... when I desperately needed that marble for steel production. Now that I think of it, that's a double facepalm, since I should have turned off all economic stone.

Speaking of steel production, it had been a while since I've had huge iron deposits, and I was enjoying the sight of my iron stockpiles filling up. I made three magma smelters, made a bunch of iron bars, but what's this? I can't seem to make pig iron? It took me several hours to realize that I still needed charcoal as flux, even if I didn't need the coal as fuel.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aviator CJ on December 05, 2012, 08:57:31 am
More of a personal facepalm than a game one: For some reason, I decided that for my current magma pump stack I would use floor grates over the channeled input tiles for each and every individual pump. I made them all out of olivine, so they're magma safe and an attractive green colour. I thought to myself, "this is probably the first ever pump stack that meets OHS standards!"

The facepalm came when I remembered that I had built the pumps out of pitchblende. Not exactly OHS quality material.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ikachan on December 05, 2012, 03:59:06 pm
I had read about people making danger rooms so I thought that I'd try making some upright spikes with training spears in my main hallway. I had put some pressure plates along that same hall so it acted as a repeating switch to send make the spikes stab and retract. So anyway I had my spikes working and I soon found that I was having lots of dwarves dying and I eventually decided that too many were dying so I dismantled the trap. I then found that the reason my dwarves were dying was because I'd accidentally put some actual spears in the spear trap.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: knutor on December 05, 2012, 11:30:39 pm
Built a danger burrow, behind a retractable bridge.  Then hid behind it very unsuccessfully from oncoming arrows.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: urmane on December 06, 2012, 07:57:41 pm
After years of kitchen and butcher-shop miasma, finally actually read this statement:

"Once a stockpile has wheelbarrows assigned and moved to it, the number of wheelbarrows will act as a limit on the number of simultaneous hauling jobs for moving items to that stockpile."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bigheaded on December 07, 2012, 03:03:13 pm
Quote from: bluefox on December 05, 2012, 12:18:16 am
Quote from: daemus on December 02, 2012, 01:00:50 pm
Now if only there was a way to make rock bins...

I always mod in a reaction to make rock bins.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I've had three facepalms recently.

The first was when I was puzzling about how to make humans survive worldgen. It turns out they have a much higher chance of surviving if you don't delete them entirely from the raws (I think it was the script I used to get rid of animalmen).

The second was when I was trying to get my jeweler to cut all those nice rough gems cluttering up the place so I could decorate and/or sell them. I must have scrolled a little too fast through the list, because I ended up with a lot of marble cachabons ... when I desperately needed that marble for steel production. Now that I think of it, that's a double facepalm, since I should have turned off all economic stone.

Speaking of steel production, it had been a while since I've had huge iron deposits, and I was enjoying the sight of my iron stockpiles filling up. I made three magma smelters, made a bunch of iron bars, but what's this? I can't seem to make pig iron? It took me several hours to realize that I still needed charcoal as flux, even if I didn't need the coal as fuel.

beautiful. one of my favorite posts of the facepalms. I could imagine doing all 4, (including the wanting of stone bins, i don't really cos i don't like bins, but i can see how many people do) and i'm pretty sure i could have thought of the solution to all 4, and would facepalm at thinking of the solution to each.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lukstra on December 08, 2012, 02:18:46 am
Ilral Zesalmosh Sosasdoston Okol, militia captain is throwing a tantrum!
(high master axedwarf + armor + dodging)

Oh crap...

As it turned out, I was saved by pure luck. He happened to be sleeping ... and throwing a tantrum at the same time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Silverlock on December 08, 2012, 01:10:27 pm
Quote from: knutor on December 05, 2012, 11:30:39 pm
Built a danger burrow, behind a retractable bridge.  Then hid behind it very unsuccessfully from oncoming arrows.

I laughed at this one.  I could imagine the dwarves staring in amazement at the arrows coming past the bridge: "How can they do that?  It's retracted!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scruffy on December 08, 2012, 06:23:29 pm
Note to self: When building a really tall tower fortress do not try rushing things by designating too many constructions at once.

..My mason caused a cave in and fell through 4 constructed  levels, through the offices of my mayor, bookkeeper one floor below and finally and 10levels of freewall until crashing throught the roof of my hospital (what luck! He even survived) This ofcourse caused another cave in and led to a cave-in making a hole throught 3 levels of constructed floor, 10z of freewall and finally 10 levels through my underground fortress and finally landing on top a trade liason. ::)

Darn cave-ins and floors (they keep going until they meet a fall. Ofcourse I  used the same floor plan for every level so every z-layer has a floor in the same spot that the cave-in can crash through.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: XXSockXX on December 09, 2012, 08:17:06 pm
Don't drink and designate.
Having had a truly decadent drink I was in the mood for some architecture. So I drunkdesignated a new appartment complex, watched it get dug out and smoothed and went to bed. Turns out: a) it looks ugly, b) I wasted a perfectly good z-lvl that I was planning to use for something else, but had forgotten about, c) with the recent wave of marriages the need for bedrooms was greatly reduced and I'm not going to have any use for the thing in many years to come. So yeah.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on December 09, 2012, 10:55:06 pm
Quote from: XXSockXX on December 09, 2012, 08:17:06 pm
Don't drink and designate.
Having had a truly decadent drink I was in the mood for some architecture. So I drunkdesignated a new appartment complex, watched it get dug out and smoothed and went to bed. Turns out: a) it looks ugly, b) I wasted a perfectly good z-lvl that I was planning to use for something else, but had forgotten about, c) with the recent wave of marriages the need for bedrooms was greatly reduced and I'm not going to have any use for the thing in many years to come. So yeah.

Always remember to choose a designated designator when you drink and DF.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Clover Magic on December 10, 2012, 01:58:37 pm
Quote from: EmeraldWind on December 09, 2012, 10:55:06 pm
Quote from: XXSockXX on December 09, 2012, 08:17:06 pm
Don't drink and designate.
Having had a truly decadent drink I was in the mood for some architecture. So I drunkdesignated a new appartment complex, watched it get dug out and smoothed and went to bed. Turns out: a) it looks ugly, b) I wasted a perfectly good z-lvl that I was planning to use for something else, but had forgotten about, c) with the recent wave of marriages the need for bedrooms was greatly reduced and I'm not going to have any use for the thing in many years to come. So yeah.

Always remember to choose a designated designator when you drink and DF.

Or sign up for Drunk Fortress, where such drunk designating is the entire point.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grytorm on December 10, 2012, 08:56:01 pm
I discovered how plant processing works today. The names for the tasks are completely non indicative.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slyjoker87 on December 14, 2012, 03:24:21 pm
Just finished slaughtering all of my extra animals, but then realized that I need a few caged cats to make my dwarves happy. Never thought I'd actually NEED a freaking cat! X_X
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scruffy on December 17, 2012, 07:22:45 pm
Quote from: Slyjoker87 on December 14, 2012, 03:24:21 pm
Just finished slaughtering all of my extra animals, but then realized that I need a few caged cats to make my dwarves happy. Never thought I'd actually NEED a freaking cat! X_X
Besides, those darn critters keep stealing all the vermin. What will the starving dorfs eat?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on December 17, 2012, 07:26:55 pm
Quote from: Scruffy on December 17, 2012, 07:22:45 pm
Quote from: Slyjoker87 on December 14, 2012, 03:24:21 pm
Just finished slaughtering all of my extra animals, but then realized that I need a few caged cats to make my dwarves happy. Never thought I'd actually NEED a freaking cat! X_X
Besides, those darn critters keep stealing all the vermin. What will the starving dorfs eat?
Cat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Silent_Thunder on December 18, 2012, 06:00:36 am
Oh hey the elven caravan has arrived. Militia! To Arms!

Diplomat who must've gotten stuck in a table somewhere. "Greetings from the mountainhomes!"

Oh shit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Knick on December 18, 2012, 09:21:56 am
I had a chance to test my drowning chamber.  i was besieged, so I pulled in all my dwarves, and waited.  The first bunch of goblins entered the chamber, I sealed it, opened the hatches, and the water did its work.  Then, I emptied the chamber, opened the bridge, and did it again. 

That's when I discovered the cistern was really no full enough.  No problem--wait for the water source to replenish, and drown the trolls and goblins.  That's when I realized that, as a building destroyer, a troll can demolish a hatch.  Which they did.  Now, I have no drowning chamber, no military, my line of cage traps are full, and I am still besieged.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aviator CJ on December 18, 2012, 09:35:20 am
Quote from: Knick on December 18, 2012, 09:21:56 am
I had a chance to test my drowning chamber.  i was besieged, so I pulled in all my dwarves, and waited.  The first bunch of goblins entered the chamber, I sealed it, opened the hatches, and the water did its work.  Then, I emptied the chamber, opened the bridge, and did it again. 

That's when I discovered the cistern was really no full enough.  No problem--wait for the water source to replenish, and drown the trolls and goblins.  That's when I realized that, as a building destroyer, a troll can demolish a hatch.  Which they did.  Now, I have no drowning chamber, no military, my line of cage traps are full, and I am still besieged.

Just as well, really - in my experience, trolls don't drown. I had 4 stuck in a pond under my entrance drawbridge for about 10 years before I let them out. Must have been horrible down there; no light and nothing but the decaying bodies of 2-3 dozen drowned goblins for company.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tenth Speed Writer on December 19, 2012, 08:46:51 pm
Quote from: Aviator CJ on December 18, 2012, 09:35:20 am
Quote from: Knick on December 18, 2012, 09:21:56 am
I had a chance to test my drowning chamber.  i was besieged, so I pulled in all my dwarves, and waited.  The first bunch of goblins entered the chamber, I sealed it, opened the hatches, and the water did its work.  Then, I emptied the chamber, opened the bridge, and did it again. 

That's when I discovered the cistern was really no full enough.  No problem--wait for the water source to replenish, and drown the trolls and goblins.  That's when I realized that, as a building destroyer, a troll can demolish a hatch.  Which they did.  Now, I have no drowning chamber, no military, my line of cage traps are full, and I am still besieged.

Just as well, really - in my experience, trolls don't drown. I had 4 stuck in a pond under my entrance drawbridge for about 10 years before I let them out. Must have been horrible down there; no light and nothing but the decaying bodies of 2-3 dozen drowned goblins for company.

Kill 3, toss in a masterwork gold ring for good measure.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dermal_plating on December 20, 2012, 01:15:56 am
Doesn't meet the criteria, but I need to vent and don't want to make a new thread.

Weaponsmith claims forge, I wait with excitement as he grabs some steel, the anticipation is killing me as I dream of a steel sword of ultimate badassery scything through the wretched goblin hordes...

Rovon Livatoslan has created Thumbufun Ifit Med, a steel crutch!

GODDAMN SON OF A FILTHY WH#RE CU#T S#IT P#SS...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on December 20, 2012, 08:12:01 am
Did the dwarf have higher metalworking skill than weaponsmithing skill? Crutches aren't weapons.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snateraar on December 20, 2012, 09:49:41 am
Note to self: Don't put stonecrafters on repeat.

Oh well, might want to load my catapult with 4,865 rock mugs. (value is 120 each)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dermal_plating on December 20, 2012, 10:04:06 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on December 20, 2012, 08:12:01 am
Did the dwarf have higher metalworking skill than weaponsmithing skill? Crutches aren't weapons.

Huh? Of course they aren't weapons, hence my rage upon seeing the artifact. Definitely a higher weaponsmithing score.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kaitlyn on December 20, 2012, 11:45:11 am
Quote from: dermal_plating on December 20, 2012, 01:15:56 am

Weaponsmith claims forge, I wait with excitement as he grabs some steel, the anticipation is killing me as I dream of a steel sword of ultimate badassery scything through the wretched goblin hordes...

Rovon Livatoslan has created Thumbufun Ifit Med, a steel crutch!


I had a similar facepalm when a bowyer went into a strange mood. Keep in mind that I've modded the raws so dwarves can use bows and arrows. So of the three things he could have made: a crossbow, a bow, or a blowgun, I could have used two. Guess which one he made? A palm blowgun by the name of Immast Stukos; The Influence of Razors. It has a picture of my civilization's (The Portal of Doors, which I find amusing) general on it. Not only that but after becoming a legendary Bowyer from that, I told him to make some bone bows under the presumption they would be made of something decently intimidating. Nope. Donkey bone. That guy is one big disappointment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on December 20, 2012, 02:55:54 pm
Quote from: dermal_plating on December 20, 2012, 10:04:06 am
Huh? Of course they aren't weapons, hence my rage upon seeing the artifact. Definitely a higher weaponsmithing score.
I'm saying it shouldn't be possible, since crutches are in the tools file and not the weapons file. If your weaponsmith went into a mood and became a Legendary Weaponsmith after making a tool, then that's a bug.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: XXSockXX on December 20, 2012, 04:34:45 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on December 20, 2012, 02:55:54 pm
Quote from: dermal_plating on December 20, 2012, 10:04:06 am
Huh? Of course they aren't weapons, hence my rage upon seeing the artifact. Definitely a higher weaponsmithing score.
I'm saying it shouldn't be possible, since crutches are in the tools file and not the weapons file. If your weaponsmith went into a mood and became a Legendary Weaponsmith after making a tool, then that's a bug.

I don't know, could it be that crutchmaking uses weaponsmithing? Because chains are under furniture in a forge, but need metalcrafting instead of blacksmithing. I haven't heard so and the wiki does not say so, but it seems possible and I wouldn't know where to look that up in the raws.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on December 20, 2012, 05:11:59 pm
Quote from: XXSockXX on December 20, 2012, 04:34:45 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on December 20, 2012, 02:55:54 pm
Quote from: dermal_plating on December 20, 2012, 10:04:06 am
Huh? Of course they aren't weapons, hence my rage upon seeing the artifact. Definitely a higher weaponsmithing score.
I'm saying it shouldn't be possible, since crutches are in the tools file and not the weapons file. If your weaponsmith went into a mood and became a Legendary Weaponsmith after making a tool, then that's a bug.

I don't know, could it be that crutchmaking uses weaponsmithing? Because chains are under furniture in a forge, but need metalcrafting instead of blacksmithing. I haven't heard so and the wiki does not say so, but it seems possible and I wouldn't know where to look that up in the raws.

Which stat (if any in case of possession) went up from the artifact creation? And was his stat in weaponsmith already legendary?

I have no way of proving this, but I noticed once or twice that dwarves seemed to create an artifact for their second highest stat if the highest was already legendary. (Granted this could just be a simple mistake on my part... as I never noticed it until the after the artifact was done that the dwarf in question seemed to have two legendary skills. It could have been that the dwarf already had two legendary skills without me taking notice.) 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on December 20, 2012, 07:18:59 pm
I recall distinctly my first potential weaponsmith mood who also happened to have metalcrafting enabled. The prick made an artifact lead crutch and got me all excited for nothing. He became a legendary metalcrafter afterwards.
Quote from: dermal_plating on December 20, 2012, 01:15:56 am
GODDAMN SON OF A FILTHY WH#RE CU#T S#IT P#SS...
This was indeed my reaction in a nutshell.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dermal_plating on December 21, 2012, 02:01:09 am
It was a possessed mood, and so was completely worthless aside from the value of the crutch. At least the next dwarf to get his legs chopped off will get a happy thought from it. I started him with adequate in weapon, metal and armor smithing and he is still at this level in those skills. He acquired dabbling in metalcrafting after he made a few lead chains. Any idea how the game selects which skill to use?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on December 21, 2012, 02:24:34 am
A child has scumbed to meloncholy, everyone else is starving, and a vampire is rumming a(r)mok. Also, the same person just tantrumed twice in one second. I'm doomed.

On the bright side, I've got two nobles in a doorless room and I'm making the dig to water.

ETA: Nobles have escaped through lake. Murderous children roam the halls. What.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on December 21, 2012, 04:59:57 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_180319&feature=iv&src_vid=iNw2YcAK9Wc&v=Pad-a98MV78

Trying to figure out a way to recreate in a fort, currently supply of kittens just got mass-pitted to deatomizer. Now I'll have to wait for the next caravan, and trade with them instead of literally drowning them in baby mammals.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on December 21, 2012, 06:15:47 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on December 21, 2012, 04:59:57 am
kittens just got mass-pitted to deatomizer

I thought deatomizers were used to distill perfume from the air into little glass bottles?

Quote from: dermal_plating on December 21, 2012, 02:01:09 am
It was a possessed mood, and so was completely worthless aside from the value of the crutch. At least the next dwarf to get his legs chopped off will get a happy thought from it. I started him with adequate in weapon, metal and armor smithing and he is still at this level in those skills. He acquired dabbling in metalcrafting after he made a few lead chains. Any idea how the game selects which skill to use?

According to the wiki (and to my own experience) the highest moodable skill is used. I wonder if perhaps the game skips over embark skills and only uses ones that were gained through worldgen or through use?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cheesoburgor on December 21, 2012, 07:12:28 pm
End of the world. nuff said.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on December 21, 2012, 07:23:27 pm
Quote from: Drazinononda on December 21, 2012, 06:15:47 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on December 21, 2012, 04:59:57 am
kittens just got mass-pitted to deatomizer

I thought deatomizers were used to distill perfume from the air into little glass bottles?
Nope, no device with the opposite function of an atomizer exists. Plus, it would probably be called an unatomizer, to eliminate confusion.

However, a giant atomizer for creating a cloud of suspended kitten particles in air might be useful.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lanceleoghauni on December 21, 2012, 10:03:11 pm
do they have the falling damage reducing properties of non-atomized kittens?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on December 22, 2012, 12:38:23 am
No, but they can bond with hydrogen puppies to form kitten-sulfide.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on December 22, 2012, 01:27:50 am
Quote from: HugoLuman on December 21, 2012, 07:23:27 pm
no device with the opposite function of an atomizer exists

They're called stills.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on December 22, 2012, 01:36:56 am
Quote from: Drazinononda on December 22, 2012, 01:27:50 am
Quote from: HugoLuman on December 21, 2012, 07:23:27 pm
no device with the opposite function of an atomizer exists

They're called stills.

They don't pull from the air per se, as much as from a vapor chamber over boiling syrup. Never heard of one for pulling perfume from the air, but if there was one I guess you could use it to recycle booze by condensing it from dwarf breath.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on December 22, 2012, 01:53:39 am
Quote from: HugoLuman on December 22, 2012, 01:36:56 am
Quote from: Drazinononda on December 22, 2012, 01:27:50 am
Quote from: HugoLuman on December 21, 2012, 07:23:27 pm
no device with the opposite function of an atomizer exists

They're called stills.

They don't pull from the air per se, as much as from a vapor chamber over boiling syrup. Never heard of one for pulling perfume from the air, but if there was one I guess you could use it to recycle booze by condensing it from dwarf breath.
So, dwarves being useful by drinking? Maybe the world DID end...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on December 22, 2012, 06:38:58 pm
'Some migrants have arrived, despite the danger.'

The game knows how bad things are getting!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MonkeyHead on December 23, 2012, 10:08:43 am
I worked out who my vampire was.

The high master social skills cheif medical dwarf (legendary diagnoser and surgeon) who had been elected mayor following thier wonderful performance in saving half my military after a particularly messy ambush.

Perfect cover.

I suspect 50 hammer strikes will be enough to render them quite harmless, and with no other medical dwarves to speak of, thier treatment will also be fitting.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on December 23, 2012, 11:13:38 am
ARGH DAMMIT. A while ago a siege operator had a child while she was sleeping. I locked the door to prevent the new spawn from leaving. I forgot to unlock it. Poor woman died of thirst and so will her baby soon as well. Also, as I type this a goblin slashes at a child and bags him. Grrreat. And a bit earlier a cave spider killed two of my woodworkers/cutters. ;__;


Edit; aaand another child snatched.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: trekkie5249 on December 23, 2012, 01:29:27 pm
I turned the FPS cap off.
I was getting around 250000 FPS.
I didn't realize that the whole game moved faster until the first caravan left after about five minutes.
I abandoned and turned the cap back on.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on December 23, 2012, 09:58:04 pm
Derped, wrong thread.

A facepalm moment I did have though was the irony of our useless beekeeper getting torn apart by giant hornets.

Also, a sparring dorf somehow slashed his partner in the right eye with the partial edge of his +large copper dagger+, lightly tapping the target. Get that dorf a frickin' medal.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dorten on December 24, 2012, 01:54:40 am
So I made a danger room to train my soldiers: 5x5 square of lever operated spikes. Three lever pulls got me two deaths, one severed arm, three broken legs, one dented brain (huh?) with shattered skull and one hole in the pancreas.
I then went to search these forums for an answer: What the hell I'm doing wrong?!?
One of the posts, that search found was looking like that:
Quote
I have a single tile training room. The training upright spears are linked to a ...
???

Quote
The training upright spears
??? ??? ???
Quote
training spears
:Facepalm:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McMontros on December 24, 2012, 08:40:28 pm
Quote from: Dorten on December 24, 2012, 01:54:40 am
So I made a danger room to train my soldiers: 5x5 square of lever operated spikes. Three lever pulls got me two deaths, one severed arm, three broken legs, one dented brain (huh?) with shattered skull and one hole in the pancreas.
Redefining "Danger" room.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shininglight on December 25, 2012, 12:48:58 am
5 minutes ago my entire first Migrant wave just got washed off a waterfall because they PATHED THROUGH IT AS IT WAS RUNNING OVER A 7 z level cliff. Fml
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: amic3r on December 25, 2012, 02:01:20 pm
So, my ranger/sherrif once wanted to hunt an eagle...
Code: [Select]
The flying ({steel bolt}) strikes The Eagle in the lower body, tearing the muscle and tearing the guts!
The Eagle looks sick!
The Eagle is propelled away by the force of the blow!
The Eagle's upper body skids along the ground, bruising the muscle and bruising the heart!
The Eagle slams into an obstacle!
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle stands up.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on December 25, 2012, 02:58:55 pm
that seems pretty standard.


However, I just lost two Dwarfs to ... plump helmet men. Fff. And my newly appointed 'champion' who should train folk is doing that 'Noble' thing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on December 25, 2012, 03:38:18 pm
Quote from: amic3r on December 25, 2012, 02:01:20 pm
So, my ranger/sherrif once wanted to hunt an eagle...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
My hunters wanted to hunt a firebird in Masterwork.
Code: [Select]
The flying +bone bolt+ strikes the firebird in the wing, tearing the muscle!
The firebird breathes dragonfire!
Urist McHunter is caught in dragonfire! x3
It ended about as well as it usually did: Three less crossbowdwarves, the surrounding landscape doomed to incinerate in a brushfire, and my forehead doomed to another facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pakkanen on December 25, 2012, 05:58:39 pm
I brought some water into an underground reservoir for the winter and forgot to close the floodgate. My well flooded and swept away all of the dwarven children that were partying around the well. Everyone sleeping in the next room also drowned. The water took the children down the well and now my reservoir is full of bodies.
Does this affect the water?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mithosaurion on December 26, 2012, 09:24:56 pm
This one may be well known, but it was my first encounter.  I started a fortress above ground on a beach near a goblin fortress and basically built a glass village with basement complexes.  The center of the town was a 30 z-layer tall glass window covered tower.  Pretty standard fair right?  Well one day a goblin siege managed to catch a few dwarves outside fishing and they were killed before they could get to safety.  Among the dead was one of the dwarves from the initial embark, who was friends with everyone.  Sure enough The Great Berzerking followed.  Now, I have been through tantrum spirals before and I usually wait until the end, but this time I decided to just pull the plug and abandon the fortress.

So I embarked once more, this time on a mirthful biome, hoping for some peace and quiet.

The first eleven migrant waves were FULL of angry, miserable, and very unhappy dwarves.  I checked their status and found that they had all lost loved ones recently... and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM HAD ADMIRED A GLASS WINDOW.

Apparently I had chosen the same civ and apparently all the dwarves that are not dead at abandonment get saved.

woops
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TacKY on December 27, 2012, 08:46:40 pm
So I just had my first fort crumble..... because I didn't take into account that we could not use the rivers during winter since they would freeze over. All 22 of my dwarves died one by one of thirst. Then as my last four clanged to life, I remembered that  I had been harvesting plump helmets for months, so I could make some drinks...... I was too late.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on December 28, 2012, 02:26:15 pm
Ugh, sober, what a way to go :( for a dwarf

So, here I was at a volcano, with a huge amount of mined stone. I try to build a bridge, make some tables n' doors n' crap, but everyone keeps complaining about there being no stone. After months go by, a giant Kea murders 2 in their sleep due to lack of doors and the cook tantrums about no furniture, I finally think to check the stones screen. Apparently, Obsidian is listed as an economic stone in this version.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tamber on December 28, 2012, 08:28:37 pm
I just lost a fortress because I forgot you needed to leave a wall behind ramps for them to be usable; and, like an idiot, I couldn't figure out why nobody was going up two floors to get a drink or food...

...they all died sober, hungry and angry; because of a single brainfart whilst designating.


*sighs, grabs a coconut from the face palm, smacks self over head with it*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uggh on December 29, 2012, 06:50:21 pm
With a lot of experience any job might become a bit boring but should my macelord really carry a bed into battle?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on December 29, 2012, 07:07:20 pm
That is an awesome weapon imho, and deadly if he has the strength to lift it (large mass).

I set the framerate to 10,000(!) in dfhack to make time pass faster. However, forgetting that I had done so, I switched to web browsing while my miners dug out the workshops, and when I look back, 12 migrants have arrived who I have not yet designated bedrooms for.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uggh on December 29, 2012, 08:23:26 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on December 29, 2012, 07:07:20 pm
That is an awesome weapon imho, and deadly if he has the strength to lift it.
It was made of feather wood...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on December 29, 2012, 08:54:10 pm
Quote from: Uggh on December 29, 2012, 08:23:26 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on December 29, 2012, 07:07:20 pm
That is an awesome weapon imho, and deadly if he has the strength to lift it.
It was made of feather wood...
That just makes it dwarfier to bash people to death with it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hetairos on December 30, 2012, 07:23:09 pm
My duke convicted Urist McPlanter for "Violation of Production Order" (which somehow happened despite me paying constant attention to the mandates), decided to ignore the jail and probably sentenced him to a beating. Anyway, a sworddwarf punched his skull into his brain with a single strike. In his bedroom.

Some time later, "Urist McPlanter has been found dead" showed up in announcements. YOU DON'T SAY?

Now some dwarf is sleeping in his bed. Yup, right next to the corpse.

I check the Justice screen and see the unresolved case of Urist McPlanter's murder. Yeah, who could've done it? I have no idea.

I am beginning to think my dwarves are not very good at this "justice" thing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slayerhero90 on December 30, 2012, 08:08:26 pm
Quote from: Hetairos on December 30, 2012, 07:23:09 pm
My duke convicted Urist McPlanter for "Violation of Production Order" (which somehow happened despite me paying constant attention to the mandates), decided to ignore the jail and probably sentenced him to a beating. Anyway, a sworddwarf punched his skull into his brain with a single strike. In his bedroom.

Some time later, "Urist McPlanter has been found dead" showed up in announcements. YOU DON'T SAY?

Now some dwarf is sleeping in his bed. Yup, right next to the corpse.

I check the Justice screen and see the unresolved case of Urist McPlanter's murder. Yeah, who could've done it? I have no idea.

I am beginning to think my dwarves are not very good at this "justice" thing.
Dwarves aren't really good at anything.
Mine aren't even good at getting killed. Starvation, dehydration, starvation, dehydration, do something ELSE.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on December 30, 2012, 08:36:42 pm
Well, they are very good at digging. Other races can't even get through a packed sand wall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: icosahedron on December 31, 2012, 11:08:26 am
I designed a half underground half above ground fortress. Several layers, lots of spots for marksdwarfs, optimized stockpiles/workshops, etc. Took many time.

Then when unpaused i saw that i mistook wall for floor, and floor for wall.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pakkanen on December 31, 2012, 12:40:25 pm
I was under siege by goblins so I assigned all civilians inside the fort. After a while there was only one goblin left who was stuck between a wall and a tree. I let all the animals and workers out of the fort to drink and haul the spoils of war. After a while I noticed that there was only a few dwarfs inside the fort. I started getting job cancellations because of a speargoblin so I zoomed in and found this.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Somehow this goblin with a cracked spine was scaring off all of my workers and they cant cross the bridge. I had assigned both of my archer squads to kill this guy and yes they did have the equipment. None of my archers did nothing so now everyone starves. It later occurred to me that I could mine down into my fort but by then many had already starved and a forgotten beast had entered my fort from the caverns.
So hundreds killed by a spineless goblin...

I think he might have fallen off his flying mount?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Astrid on December 31, 2012, 05:40:58 pm
My Legendary Miner decided to went moody at the complete wrong time and asked for something that was nearly impossible to get hands on.

Results. 9 killed, My Military, Chief Doctor and Record keeper who happened to be there. 3 more mortally wounded.
Some scars here and there. So many body parts laying around. Mroe body parts than corpses actually... way more...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on December 31, 2012, 06:31:34 pm
In a spectacular fail, I pressed 't' when I meant 'f'

Spoiler: A short-lived adventurer (click to show/hide)

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jacob/Lee on January 01, 2013, 12:56:23 am
That's why we have melee proficiency and something pointy as a backup plan :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on January 01, 2013, 01:38:02 am
Problem in adv mode, your adventurer just sits around and lets everybody hit him/her with no resistance until projectiles hit something, instead of letting you shoot and then duck back into hiding or run. So, aligator charged me while control was disabled and killed me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bartholomew The Pious on January 01, 2013, 11:29:26 pm
I think we've all been there, after a succesful siege, 16 jabberer/dragon/olm/what not corpses are left in the battlefield, and some field butcher shops have been built. And then for some inexplicable reason after all your meat industrial preparations were built, you decide to go full-do'h and attend to other matters. That is when you come back and check that bone scraps are left in the stockpiles around, where there should have been meaty corpses.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: urmane on January 03, 2013, 12:37:59 pm
"Yeah, I know it's warm, go ahead and dig it."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EmeraldWind on January 03, 2013, 09:06:15 pm
So I had been killing things on my gate bridge. Lots of goblins and kobolds.

A siege shows up and I raise the bridge to give my military some time to group.

But I didn't realize they were already grouped where they need to be because I never canceled the order.

The bridge raises and all the shit on the bridge goes flying everywhere!
It looks like a flood of random junk flowing away from the bridge like water.

Then my militia gets pelted with the random junk falling from the sky.

I get messages like this on my combat report:
The ({large giant cave spider silk loincloth}) strikes The Hammer Lord in the left foot, bruising the muscle through the x(pig tail fiber show)x!

I couldn't stop laughing... I had no idea how much crap was on that bridge.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: blaster339 on January 04, 2013, 09:44:00 pm
Once I built a really big stockpile, and stocked it 'till it was fat enough and full.
Then I discovered the convenience of bins and chests, oh the agony
I wasted a whole giant room when I could've used containers
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼ on January 05, 2013, 02:01:07 pm
I have ordered my haulers to haul stones to other side of a river.
It's now filled with 500 stones and like 40 wheelbarrows.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on January 05, 2013, 03:13:43 pm
I have a seaside fort where the ocean freezes for a bit over four months per year. The spring migration wave of the second year appeared on the ice, about half an in-game hour before the ocean melted. No-one made it to the fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼ on January 05, 2013, 08:08:54 pm
I have test-fired my ballista. Then, Urist McDumb has decided to haul some stones in front of it. Guess who was operating the ballista? His daughter...

Not from Dwarf Fortress - I have been looking for a book to read, then I have noticed something on my bookshelf... This is a masterfully crafted book masterfully decorated with an image of funny last name in paper by "Fran Dorf"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rumpel on January 06, 2013, 03:56:44 pm
My whole fortress is moving all of the cloth from the stockpiles into the hospital... 1550000/50000

After removing one coffer the whole cloth spread on the ground. Now they're moving it back to the stockpiles. FML.

http://imgur.com/pqIOZ,AF1MW,GhoX9
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on January 06, 2013, 04:31:19 pm
Quote from: rumpel on January 06, 2013, 03:56:44 pm
My whole fortress is moving all of the cloth from the stockpiles into the hospital... 1550000/50000

After removing one coffer the whole cloth spread on the ground. Now they're moving it back to the stockpiles. FML.

http://imgur.com/pqIOZ,AF1MW,GhoX9
Build your hospital coffers one at a time to keep dwarves from storing every last scrap of cloth.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rumpel on January 06, 2013, 05:05:09 pm
Is there any way to fix it? I removed the hospital zone and all coffers. Build a new coffer and set a new hospital zone - same problem, though. Now that shit lies on the ground and the dwarves still moving everything around.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on January 06, 2013, 05:33:00 pm
No way to keep dwarves from filling them to full capacity. At least, not that I know of.
I suppose you could forbid all the cloth/thread except what you want in the hospital, then unforbid after it's stored.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cheedows on January 06, 2013, 10:19:31 pm
My Dwarves decide to take the long way around and jump into my water filled moat when a bridge is right there...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼ on January 07, 2013, 03:00:48 am
I had the same isue, but because I have forgot to deactivate filling my "dwarven bathtub" near the bridge... It was filled to 5/7, so everyone was using the moat. A very, very long moat. FML.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eggman360 on January 07, 2013, 11:25:02 am
I dug down to the magma layer and found adamantine, got all the fan-fair and everything was good, so I designated a large chunk a few z-levels up to act as my ores/bars stockpile, it was like 20x10 so I left the game running and made a cup of tea...

i came back and the game was paused, so I figured "Meh a migrant wave"....until I saw the text...turns out theyd dug through the adamantine pipe...much Fun ensued....followed by death, glorious glorious death.

The worst moment came when I had to explain to the misses, it was her first fort and she couldnt stop laughing at the combat reports...Im slightly worried about her now xD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Charlingo on January 07, 2013, 04:36:10 pm
Decided to fight a forgotten beast that had poison dust with roughly 40 soldiers. Now I didnt know what was going to happen at the time, but during and after the battle my warriors started to look rather undead.


Spoiler (click to show/hide)

When seeing the massacre happening in the caves, I decided that the smartest action would be preparing the hospital. I restarted the bed and soap industries and got everything set up whilst the soldiers were being dragged in. Once their rotting bodies were brought inside, dwarven stupidity happened.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

half of the soldiers, including the militia commander, are piled atop a bucket like dead bodies. There were still a lot of beds available, you just can't see them within the miasma. How does this happen exactly? I'm still confused about this.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on January 08, 2013, 02:04:04 am
You call that blood? (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=102730.0)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: koter on January 08, 2013, 11:03:20 am
Just now my fort was under siege by humans. I declared an alert and allowed my military some time to regroup somewhere between my entrance and the human camp. Then I ordered the entrance bridge lifted. As the assigned dwarf was going to pull the lever, one of my marksdwarves decides to take a nap at the very same bridge.
I have to admit that I saw her napping on the bridge as I was observing my military, but I never saw what happened to something that's on a bridge when it's lifted and I just couldn't help myself.
Newton was right. When the lever was pulled, the marksdwarf flew upwards, slammed into a tree, broke a leg and an arm and punctured a lung.

Maybe I can use that to make dwarven paratroopers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Elando on January 08, 2013, 12:17:37 pm
So... My latest fort just came under attack by a giant Wereass.

Apparently it's Katamba-Black hair is very curly. D:

(http://i46.tinypic.com/b61vv4.jpg)

Not quite sure what kind of ass it is yet but visions of a giant hairy backside running around on stubby legs gobbling up my Dwarves is not a pretty sight...

Edit: As my fort is quite new and I have yet to make weapons all 45 available dorfs have been drafted into active service ready to fight the beast.

Let's hunt some arse!

EditEdit: Turns out he was a frogman. He promptly killed a woodcutter and a cook before changing back and running away...

Must have been the fear of having a fortress full of blood crazed dwarves bum rush him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eggman360 on January 08, 2013, 04:53:38 pm
Quote from: Elando on January 08, 2013, 12:17:37 pm
So... My latest fort just came under attack by a giant Wereass.

Apparently it's Katamba-Black hair is very curly. D:

(http://i46.tinypic.com/b61vv4.jpg)

Not quite sure what kind of ass it is yet but visions of a giant hairy backside running around on stubby legs gobbling up my Dwarves is not a pretty sight...

Edit: As my fort is quite new and I have yet to make weapons all 45 available dorfs have been drafted into active service ready to fight the beast.

Let's hunt some arse!

EditEdit: Turns out he was a frogman. He promptly killed a woodcutter and a cook before changing back and running away...

Must have been the fear of having a fortress full of blood crazed dwarves bum rush him.

Wait, so the were-form was a Frogman? lol and the Ass was infected with that? Or the other way around? I haven't had any were-beasts yet :/
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on January 08, 2013, 06:48:49 pm
Quote from: koter on January 08, 2013, 11:03:20 am
Maybe I can use that to make dwarven paratroopers.
Just make sure you have some nice soft kittens and puppies for them to land on.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Baccar Wozat on January 08, 2013, 08:16:48 pm
What a facepalm moment!

Everything went well in my experimental fort (which was extra wide to allow for two big towers connected by a walled passage). I had several great ore strikes, plenty of good soil, the works.

The only bad things were: 1) There were no plump helmets OR SEEDS available for the embark, and 2) After a day or so, my two miners fell asleep a bit earlier than the rest of the beardos, on hard ground, in the bedroom area (no beds available yet).

Cut to the next season. Many things are made and working. I notice a miner bleeding and vomiting in her own bed.

Was it because of outdoor exposure? Nope, everyone's been running around a lot because of the huge lengthy corridors, only a couple of which were finished by now.

Finally I look at the "wounds" and what is listed is "Fever - Nausea". Seems to be some sort of flu. Fortunately, after a good rest, the sickness, whatever it is, is gone, and the miner returns to active duty.

OK, time to build and designate the hospital. I design the whole thing, and designate the zone right away even though nobody even tunneled it out yet.

A little bit later, the same dwarf, who was mining it out, decided to fall asleep on the ground, even though she has a perfectly good bed back in her bedroom. Why? Because she's sick again!

I immediately set up some beds, and then the OTHER miner has arrived and is also sleeping on the floor. Same reason-- vomiting and fever.

I return to other activities, deciding there's nothing I can do, since the beds will take some time to get there.

Then the miner cancelled sleep because she was interrupted by the noise of a bed being delivered. What did she do? Instead of waiting for the bed to be positioned, she simply moved a few squares over and went to sleep again on the cold hard floor.

The other one, meanwhile, seems to have gotten better and wandered off to do more work on the east side of the hospital. Which prompted the first miner to FINALLY find the bed and crawl into it.

That did it. I am assigning a chief medical officer.

Except it turns out, the only one with any of the medical skills needed is...

Yup. The miner.

Well, can't be helped. I'm nicknaming her "Dr."

Cut to some time later. No real hospital activity has followed, even though I see occasional patches of the miner's -- er, doctor's blood. Every time I see this I check up on both of them. Neither is vomiting or sick; in fact, they are both reported as being healthy with the now-available "h" option.

But when I do this, it zooms to the doctor, which lists wounds, but also mentions the translation of her name which I notice for the first time:

"Dr. Plaguerub"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Insanity X on January 09, 2013, 05:31:10 am
I embarked in an evil fun biome, and immediately my hunter and his dog ran into a cloud to kill some cavy's, and they got turned into husks, so I conscripted the rest of my dwarves into the military

None bothered to grab a weapon
They just kicked, punched and groped the dog until they dehydrated to death
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on January 09, 2013, 06:15:00 am
Oh, I'll just leave the door holding back 10 floors of water unlocked, what's the worst that'll happen? It's not like they'll open the door to step around somebody walking the other direction, rght?

WRONG.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheKaspa on January 09, 2013, 07:41:25 am
Quote from: Japa on January 09, 2013, 06:15:00 am
Oh, I'll just leave the door holding back 10 floors of water unlocked, what's the worst that'll happen? It's not like they'll open the door to step around somebody walking the other direction, rght?

WRONG.

Always lock doors. Always.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KaraMong on January 10, 2013, 05:31:51 am
I understood now why you shouldn't build a staircase that pass from your fort to the caverns below.
Flame breathing FBs like my booze stockpile, somehow. I didn't like the fireworks, tho.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on January 10, 2013, 06:01:49 am
I just embarked and was inside a volcano on the SMR.

What?  Why is that possible?  I have no idea what would cause that.

It was over before I thought to take a screenshot.  My sincere apologies.

So it was like "what the heck?"  *unpause*  *your settlement has crumbled*  *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naryar on January 10, 2013, 12:09:20 pm
I was like digging calmly into magma drains trying to increase the size of my smelter complex, i totally forgot that I carefully carved the lower z-level to accomodate the magma drains...

and then i saw smoke. "What the fuck ?" It wasn't a cave-in, then some random Urist cancels movement due to dangerous terrain.

I go one z-level lower...

... and then I realized I flooded half of my bedroom complex with magma.  :P

Oh well, it was !!FUN!!. Hell, i'm still laughing about it now. Now just to save the previous fort save...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pamelrabo on January 11, 2013, 05:12:34 am
In one of my first fortresses I wondered how deep my dwarves could mine and I discovered.

The demons ascended, ripped and burned everything and everyone in an horrific slaughter. Everyone? No! The Expedition Leader was fishing heroically in a nearby pond!
Apparently he didn't hear the screams or smelled the smoke.

The demons got him when he took a booze  and entered the fortress to get some beer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheKaspa on January 11, 2013, 05:26:51 am
So if you have and aboveground fort the demons won't reach you?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rumpel on January 11, 2013, 04:11:18 pm
The Honey Badger has become enraged!
- a little later -
The Stray war Dog <Tame> has bled to death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vehudur on January 12, 2013, 07:06:47 am
Magma is FUN.

I just lost four legendary miners at the same time.

That sentence is still correct if you only take the first three words.

Many facepalms were had.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Child of Armok on January 13, 2013, 02:08:56 pm
I was playing Masterwork and i wanted to create some campfires. (Bonfires)
To prevent them burning my entire map, i builded some floors around them and i builded my fire.
A few minutes later i was getting tons of job cancellation.
i zoomed to the place and saw a MASSIVE fire.
I examined the fire and saw: Wooden floor

I builded the floors of wood.

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on January 13, 2013, 04:35:13 pm
But constructions don't burn?

So, testing my own firearms in the Arena, and they work fine for larger creatures but apparently anything smaller than a dwarf gets sent flying and explodes on impact. I checked the raws, apparently I added an extra zero to the force. Whoops.

Testing out minecart shotgun designs, but accidentally set the hauler to get in the cart. Aimed at the chained troll.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on January 13, 2013, 11:32:40 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on January 13, 2013, 04:35:13 pm
So, testing my own firearms in the Arena, and they work fine for larger creatures but apparently anything smaller than a dwarf gets sent flying and explodes on impact. I checked the raws, apparently I added an extra zero to the force. Whoops.
Care to share those original "send small critters flying" raws? I'd love to have a reference for the values capable of sending anything flying a good distance away at a reliably frequent rate.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on January 14, 2013, 01:50:49 am
Code: [Select]
[SHOOT_FORCE:60000]
[SHOOT_MAXVEL:60000]Something like that, don't remember if it's the fixed version or not. Probably keeping those values, though, worked as intended on anything larger than a cat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Myshaak on January 15, 2013, 01:45:22 pm
Yep, I finally had a real, real facepalm moment... Imagine this: Your dorfs are all of a suddent starting to starve, there is not enough plump helmets for beer, not even enough to eat raw... yet the fiels are full! What the little buggers do? They leave it to rot and straight to the refuse pile! WHY?!

Let me tell you why: do you know what a key combination of " o-f " does? Why is it even there?  :D

I must have pressed it by mistake, fort nearly starved out because of it. Fortunatelly, I have a strong dog and Giant Badger meatgrinding breeding program, but still... my plumps, my beautiful plumps!  ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scootagoose on January 15, 2013, 03:48:45 pm
The fact that my dwarvens shit their pond-grabber leather pants every time they see this one skeletal raven. This thing is flimsier then a kitten and can be killed in one hit by anything, the problem is that it keeps raising from the dead about every two seconds. So I send one dwarf to kill it and he does. Only for it to raise the dead and scare the same exact dwarf into the fortress. I mean seriously, I heard jokes about dwarves being cowards before but this is something else.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on January 17, 2013, 08:27:05 am
The Giant Aca Ethithirino Ucucoaca has come!
Me:The hell is a Giant Aca? Some kind of anteater?
      ...5 minutes later, after some unsuccessful Google searches...
      Oh, it's a Giant named Aca.
/enter facepalm here/
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Psuedonym on January 18, 2013, 04:20:02 am
I assigned my buffalo to a pen, outdoors, with plenty of grass. So how the hell did it manage to starve to death?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GenJeFT on January 18, 2013, 06:03:03 pm
My biggest face palm moment.

Vamp #1, kill attempt 1
I got my first vampire migrant yesterday and locked him in a room by himself for "science", then surprisingly he gets elected mayor, while in a room with no door or any other way out in the basement of the trade depot and never having met anyone. So I decided to try and drown him not realizing they cant drown, cut a hole in the ceiling, designate it a pool, and have dwarfs drop buckets of water on the vampires head and leave it at that. Suddenly Dwarf McFarmer has been found drained of blood! Turns out the vampire climbed out the hole in the ceiling when his room filled with water and escaped to start feasting on my dwarfs (funny thing is the first dwarf he killed was actually a candidate to be vampire #2, proving the 2nd guy was not a vampire). This time my dwarfs actually wittiness the attack and the hammerer arrests the guy just before he finishes off another victim. So he was sent to prison.

kill attempt 2.
So now the vampire is in jail, while he is there I put him in his own squad, and give him station orders onto a draw bridge, then dismantle the rope, while telling all dwarfs to go to the alert station. Once the vampire gets on the bridge the lever is pulled, the vampire goes up a whole 1 z level and falls back down again with only minor injuries. But now he wont pay attention to station orders and he wanders off to another bridge. Once he is on the bridge I have my dwarfs pull the lever again! Nada, the bridge is not hooked up yet. Attempt 2 is an abysmal failure.

kill attempt 3.
Out of options with him still ignoring station orders I decide to have him attack a caravan guard, which he surprisingly does, and wins with no problems. I was hoping it would trigger a loyalty cascade with the caravan and the caravan would tear itself apart (yay free stuff!) while killing the vampire. Well, nothing happened, and now the guy is ignoring ALL orders, but the annoying liaison is still following him around. So after he runs into the corner I give him an order to attack the liaison thinking he wont do it (because he is ignoring everything else). So... he attacks the liaison, and kills him. NOW the loyalty cascade begins! With my own fort.

Suffice to say, 1 dead guard, 1 dead liaison, and many dead dwarfs later I savescum. Caravan must have had a nice show as the riot went down.

To add insult to injury, the vampire survived.

Save corrupted. Goody.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: brydson on January 19, 2013, 07:28:03 am
In my most recent fortress I've discovered magma for the first time in 5-6 years of playing DF. Naturally I was pretty excited to get a smelting/metalworking industry built, with luxury bedrooms above the magma pipe etc.

During all this designating and watching I neglected to remember I was in the middle of channeling riverwater to a new reservoir and well... the next thing I know water is streaming from the well flooding the entire dwellinghall and drowning a good two dozen dwarves in a matter of seconds.

Sorry about that guys, I got distracted... /facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on January 20, 2013, 07:40:58 am
Created a shark in testing arena. Wondered why the shark died instantly after spawning. Discovered that I'd forgot to clear the item list from when I'd made a dwarf earlier...shark got hit by a full set of steel gear, including a big spinning battleaxe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ace_Warbringer on January 20, 2013, 01:23:38 pm
While building a semiauto dump for useless crap into my volcano i decided to add some rollers in for testing, never having really used them before. i set everything up and let the little guys go.

2 mins later and three dwarves are down, one suffacated before i figured out something was wrong.

so i look at the combat reports and all mached up,
minecart has collided with a dwarf, dwarfs skids on ground.

checking out my dump i watched a dwarf walk up and push the cart into the rollers. only for the rollers to spit the cart back at him and launch him across the room.

minecart has collided with a dwarf, dwarfs skids on ground. 

(Facepalm) "wrong direction Ace"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: notquitethere on January 20, 2013, 09:53:43 pm
Quote from: GenJeFT on January 18, 2013, 06:03:03 pm
My biggest face palm moment.

Vamp #1, kill attempt 1
I got my first vampire migrant yesterday and locked him in a room by himself for "science", then surprisingly he gets elected mayor, while in a room with no door or any other way out in the basement of the trade depot and never having met anyone. So I decided to try and drown him not realizing they cant drown, cut a hole in the ceiling, designate it a pool, and have dwarfs drop buckets of water on the vampires head and leave it at that. Suddenly Dwarf McFarmer has been found drained of blood! Turns out the vampire climbed out the hole in the ceiling when his room filled with water and escaped to start feasting on my dwarfs (funny thing is the first dwarf he killed was actually a candidate to be vampire #2, proving the 2nd guy was not a vampire). This time my dwarfs actually wittiness the attack and the hammerer arrests the guy just before he finishes off another victim. So he was sent to prison.

kill attempt 2.
So now the vampire is in jail, while he is there I put him in his own squad, and give him station orders onto a draw bridge, then dismantle the rope, while telling all dwarfs to go to the alert station. Once the vampire gets on the bridge the lever is pulled, the vampire goes up a whole 1 z level and falls back down again with only minor injuries. But now he wont pay attention to station orders and he wanders off to another bridge. Once he is on the bridge I have my dwarfs pull the lever again! Nada, the bridge is not hooked up yet. Attempt 2 is an abysmal failure.

kill attempt 3.
Out of options with him still ignoring station orders I decide to have him attack a caravan guard, which he surprisingly does, and wins with no problems. I was hoping it would trigger a loyalty cascade with the caravan and the caravan would tear itself apart (yay free stuff!) while killing the vampire. Well, nothing happened, and now the guy is ignoring ALL orders, but the annoying liaison is still following him around. So after he runs into the corner I give him an order to attack the liaison thinking he wont do it (because he is ignoring everything else). So... he attacks the liaison, and kills him. NOW the loyalty cascade begins! With my own fort.

Suffice to say, 1 dead guard, 1 dead liaison, and many dead dwarfs later I savescum. Caravan must have had a nice show as the riot went down.

To add insult to injury, the vampire survived.

Save corrupted. Goody.

Damn that's some bad luck: maybe you should have put him under bridge and lowered it onto him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Psuedonym on January 21, 2013, 07:23:36 am
I ragequit DF for the night because I'm sleepy and frustrated about not being able for some reason to transfer shells to my bone stockpile, and just now as I've quit the game I realise that the reason is the outdoor refuse stockpile the shells are sitting in is actually two stockpiles that I forgot to merge, and I'm trying to pull them from the wrong half.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: h.scorpio on January 21, 2013, 10:27:53 am
Thought it'd be nice to set up a statue garden, so that all my unemployed dwarves at least have something to spend their free time in. Added a waterfall that drains into the first cavern-layer out of boredom.

Now I have to shut it down to prevent it from flushing anymore dwarven children down the drain.
Sigh, suppose I'll add some grates...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dutchling on January 21, 2013, 10:39:35 am
Quote from: h.scorpio on January 21, 2013, 10:27:53 am
Sigh, suppose I'll add some grates...

No no no! Start a parallel fortress in the caverns! Dump leftover food and clothes down the drain as well as all your children, so only the toughest ones (those who survive to adulthood) may join your real fortress!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: h.scorpio on January 21, 2013, 11:03:31 am
It's a 50-z-level drop to the cavern floor... to survive this, the kids would have to be very tough.
Or undead, and then I wouldn't want them coming back upstairs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on January 21, 2013, 02:19:51 pm
Quote from: h.scorpio on January 21, 2013, 11:03:31 am
It's a 50-z-level drop to the cavern floor... to survive this, the kids would have to be very tough.
Or undead, and then I wouldn't want them coming back upstairs.

If I had room in my sig...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sugarlevi on January 21, 2013, 05:19:13 pm
A dragon wandered unto my  map. Joy!
Naturally I wanted to catch it. So I started by locking up my fort.
But  apparently I had forgotten to build a bit of wall, so there was a diagonal connection at my outer upper level. Near my trading depot. Where the humans were. With crossbows.

Dragon roast for everyone?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flanderbland on January 22, 2013, 04:11:28 am
Just recently started playing, and I'm still running my first fortress (about 4 years in). There's bound to have been a lot of facepalm-moments so far, but I think I'm too oblivious to notice most of them...

There are, however, two that comes to mind directly:

* Channeled water from an underground river to my fortress to create a well, but forgot to turn the flow off once I had enough water... Result: A partially flooded (and later mud-filled) dining room, 3 drowned dwarves and a lot of emergency-dug rooms for the purpose of draining the water...

* Forgetting to turn off animal hauling on my legendary carpenter. Result: "<Carpenter name> cancels Move Animal: Dangerous Terrain". The animal wandered too close to the moat, my carpenter fell into it and drowned... Along with one child. Sure, it was "just" a carpenter, but it was my first legendary crafter, and the speed he made chairs... I miss that guy :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: locustgate on January 24, 2013, 08:24:34 am
I tested out my new surface water collector without checking to see if there was anyone in the reservoir. I lost my legendary mason, a farmer, and my 2 well skilled swordsmen, all who were cleaning out the reservoir of stones.

Kind of an old one
I tested out my new bridge without locking the door to it, I lost my mayor's cat, wife, and one of his kids, he promptly killed my best gem cutter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on January 24, 2013, 09:18:36 am
Dug a channel for a moat, then punched through to the river...realizing moments later that I hadn't put in the floodgate for the drain yet. Didn't lose anybody, but I basically set back my construction projects by about half a year.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tosid Emulsazir on January 24, 2013, 04:58:41 pm
I know the Military Tactics skill hasn't been properly implemented yet, but...

Urist McAxedwarf : All right lads, we gotta be careful on this-- OH SH** I SEE ENNEMIES I must charge and punch them to death despite the fact that I forgot my axe in the barracks and there are like 10 of them armed with crossbows and battle axes.

Urist McAxedwarf : Dar be nasty looking gobos about to attack, let's form ranks- oh wait I need to take a nap, brb.

Urist McAxedwarf On Duty : Mission accomplished!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: warwizard on January 24, 2013, 08:31:25 pm
So I have a cold zone where it's only warm enough to melt most of the river most years, once it melted all the way but usually it's cold, and I have a triple layer of aquifier.

  I tried a cave in to get through it, but ended up having to channel during the times the water would run and then wait for a freeze then mine out the layer of ice and build walls and repeat for the next layer next season.
  About 20 dwarves with their picks got ice cubed while trying to complete this multi year task, but that's not the face palm , not yet.

  I finally get through and am happilly digging exploratory tunnels and find 3 layers of flux, I add steel making jobs and am busy doing other things, I get a job cancellation saying there was no flux,
I check the stocks menu, there is about 10 chalk right there, not forbidded, no restrictions on where my dwarves can go, everybody hauls... so I go to look at where my miners are digging, WTF? why is the tunnel flooding?

I look at my area where I dug through the aquifier, and I see two gaps in the walls and water is cascading into the pit and filling the tunnels.

 Three miners are trapped, and I first build walls in the tunnel two dwarves do it right and are standing on the dry side the third dwarf has had three tries to do it right and every time walls himself off on the wet side.
I order him to mine more area starting with a diagonal so there will not be pressure problems, and after about 20 tiles he's too sleepy to continue and I have my other two dry dwarves try to build a rescue tunnel and they break through just as the wet one drowns, now they are wet too.

 I start building stairs down , offsetting 1 tile every few layers so as the dwarves climb the wet stairs they do not plummet to their doom. and after some 20 levels down I break out into the cavern layer, and water is cascading out into the caverns now but there is food to be had here I set the miners to gathering and both of them find something to bring back to the newly staked out food stockpile, yup both of them found dimple cups, and are now hunting vermin and alternately trying to drink from the water cascading from the stairs Mechanic cancels drink: water sourse has dissapeared X196.

 So my starving (cause they harvested dimple cups) and dehydrated (cause they can't drink from a firehose) and furious due to the preceeding two dwarves die, the baby one was hauling around is seen later playing in some GCS webs, the baby born a few days before this one turns into a child, and then this one dies.

I now look at the now refrozen walls the dwarves had cancelled the build walls task for some unknown reason, I try multiple times to build in thoes tiles to no avail, so end up building around the two tiles.
<head shake and face palms all around>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Baccar Wozat on January 24, 2013, 10:44:18 pm
Another one I had yesterday.

Everything's going well, but we don't have a dedicated hunter; we're just living off our supply of crappy meat and growing seeds (but STILL not plump helmets-- that's TWO worldgens without them in a row!) but now we are running low and someone must become a hunter.

I pick the mason, who though not very suited to it, is a better choice than anyone else since they're so overloaded with tasks.

I have a bunch of hunting dogs that I got at embark, so I assign them to the poor guy.

THEN migrants arrive, including a guy who would be perfect as a hunter!

So I go to reassign the dogs and... um, reassign the... hey, where DOES one reassign hunting dogs?

Oh, they became attached to the mason.

So I make the other guy a hunter anyway, just sans pooches. He gets very very badly injured in his first attempt. Meanwhile, my mason has a number of dogs following him around. "Get awa', will ye'? I'm tryin' mah best to dieu this construction justice! And stop poopin' on the engraved floor!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lazygun on January 25, 2013, 12:29:16 am
Fun with pressurized water.

My fort is a long way from the river. I've been preparing a huge farming layer which will be watered from a large cistern. I do need to make it large because the farming layer is around 800 tiles. To get the water all the way from the river without it evaporating on the way I dug out another cistern at the river so it would be pressurized and travel the 100+ tiles in an instant.

River -> River cistern -> Water passsage -> Cistern -> Farming

And a well room above the cistern.

Due to my OCD, I had to make sure all the stone was cleared out of the cisterns and the connecting passage, the walls were smoothed, the floor nicely tiled with stone blocks so trees won't grow on it. It's now year 4 and the waterworks are finally ready. Although there are still plenty of stones in the farming level I can wait no longer: the population is too large to survive on gathered surface plants and the steady stream of dwarves fetching water from the river in buckets on 'give water' tasks is concerning me. One child has already been lost to a goblin kidnapper. The surface is about to become too dangerous.

The river cistern is full. The river intake is now closed. I give the order to open the river cistern's outflow gate. It works perfectly, and the connecting channel fills up almost instantly. One whole layer of the river cistern was drained.

Now, I order the intake for the secondary cistern to be opened. The cistern fills instantly. Except, the pressurized water creates a waterspout in my well room, flooding it, and flooding my kitchen. FACE PALM. Well, thank goodness for doors. It's only the kitchen workshop and cookable food storage that got submerged. Not a complete disaster.

But I do want to salvage things from that room, so now it's time to open the outflow from my secondary cistern into my farming level. I miscalculated the size of the cistern and instead of a farming level I now have a swimming pool level, 4 or 5 deep. FACE PALM.

The well room and kitchen are passable again so I deconstruct the well and get the kitchen running again. I designate some temporary farm plots in the storeroom. Now, I dig a new well room on a higher level and a new shaft down. Shortly after I see a drowning miner in the bottom level of my cistern. He dug out the ground under his feet, plummeted down the shaft, fell through the well and several levels of cistern and broke several bones and bruised ribs. FACE PALM.

I can't get help to him because the only way to get to him is through my flooded farming level. He drowns. I order a coffin and a slab but I can't slab him: nobody else knows he's dead yet. FACE PALM.

I start working on draining the farming level. I 'm going to have two muddy levels. Or maybe three. It'll be great for tree farms when I finally breach the caverns. It's just going to be tedious digging out 800 damp tiles. FACE PALM.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on January 25, 2013, 12:56:27 am
Quote from: Baccar Wozat on January 24, 2013, 10:44:18 pm
Another one I had yesterday.

Everything's going well, but we don't have a dedicated hunter; we're just living off our supply of crappy meat and growing seeds (but STILL not plump helmets-- that's TWO worldgens without them in a row!) but now we are running low and someone must become a hunter.

I pick the mason, who though not very suited to it, is a better choice than anyone else since they're so overloaded with tasks.

I have a bunch of hunting dogs that I got at embark, so I assign them to the poor guy.

THEN migrants arrive, including a guy who would be perfect as a hunter!

So I go to reassign the dogs and... um, reassign the... hey, where DOES one reassign hunting dogs?

Oh, they became attached to the mason.

So I make the other guy a hunter anyway, just sans pooches. He gets very very badly injured in his first attempt. Meanwhile, my mason has a number of dogs following him around. "Get awa', will ye'? I'm tryin' mah best to dieu this construction justice! And stop poopin' on the engraved floor!"
The lack of Plump helmets is likely because you haven't genned caves or you embarked crazy early. probably the first.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on January 25, 2013, 07:41:06 am
Tried to build an 'arena'...a walled area with drawbridges to lock in whatever I put there until I'm satisfied with the bloodshed (mainly intended for testing out various war animals on captured goblins).

So far so good. In goes the first gobbo. In goes a war dog. Lever is pulled...one drawbridge goes up, the other stays down, because I messed up on linking the levers. Goblin massacres war dog. Goblin proceeds to run out into my surface pasture area, gets kicked around by random farm animals and eventually escapes down the stairs into my farm/trade level...where he proceeds to cause a truly apocalyptic amount of mess by first panicking every civilian in a five-mile radius, then wandering into the chicken breeding area before finally falling to a legendary miner who'd just come up from the depths to get a drink.

Oh, and my military? Locked in at my surface fort where I'd placed them to deal with any arena combatants that got out of hand.

Not exactly my finest moment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MonkeyHead on January 25, 2013, 12:47:12 pm
Oh, look, the hospital well is dry. Better open the filling valve then... *levers are pulled, well begins filling...*

A VILE FORCE OF DARKNESS HAS ARRIVED!

Seige happens.

Go back to look at hospital, which is now full of 7/7 water. Forgot to close the waterlock, hadn't I? The control levers just had to be in the now flooded room, didnt it? Cue a large upwards shaft from the caverns through the floor of the hospital being dug. Hospital now has large grate covered hole in the floor to prevent future occurance. Fortunate the ospital was empty at time of flooding, and that no one was injured (well, nobody useful) during the seige or release of water.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: protester on January 25, 2013, 08:56:38 pm
  Well, i had a very unfortunate run in with physics. We had a small pool in which dwarves were wading in and out of scrubbing blood and grime off themselves and right into the pool. Combined with the babies drinking from the bloody pool, a Kobold fell through murky pool hatch about 3 stories above the pool and landed stomach first and puked all his guts and teeth right into the water. The squad of crossbowdwarves refilling their canteens had some very sloppy target practice... I decided the miners needed some work and decided to make a well and destroy that literal bloodbath. I made a huge ornate room and set it as a new meeting hall to ease off the crowding in the first one. My triple legendary miners and my 2 newbies began working hard on the first well, and completed it within 5 minutes irl.

  I decided that a second one couldn't hurt, so i began set out the plans and my minions followed. I completely forgot to restrict the actual well hole itself, and dwarves suddenly found themselves being pelted with rock 30 stories above them. A single patch was left at the top, and a single last one was at the bottom. #1, expedition leader-mayor-miner extraordinaire is suddenly smacked in the head by a boulder of galena. The extreme heavy ore of lead. His upper spine is broken and he becomes paralyzed from the neck down, and cant breath. A newbie up top who mined that bit runs away to his bedroom, and #2 runs to his best friends aid. 1 dies in 2's arms, and 2 goes up top and builds the well after hauling the body off to its tomb. 2 drinks some sunshine and gets over it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on January 25, 2013, 09:55:33 pm
I embark by a volcano and try to get a little lava flowing for a magma forge. The magma promptly covers my embark site. FML.

How long does it take for a lava flow to become stone?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on January 25, 2013, 10:52:56 pm
Had my first gremlin ever today.

Two dwarves hospitalized due to a pulled drawbridge lever...from now on I'll have guard dogs on those.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aviator CJ on January 26, 2013, 01:07:54 am
Quote from: GuesssWho on January 25, 2013, 09:55:33 pm
How long does it take for a lava flow to become stone?

Exactly as long as it takes for you to pour water over it. DF takes place in a world where magma stays hot until water says otherwise.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on January 26, 2013, 01:24:50 am
Quote from: GuesssWho on January 25, 2013, 09:55:33 pm
How long does it take for a lava flow to become stone?
Magma doesn't become stone, it just disappears gradually like water if it's at 1/7 depth.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on January 26, 2013, 03:26:19 am
Quote from: Aviator CJ on January 26, 2013, 01:07:54 am
Quote from: GuesssWho on January 25, 2013, 09:55:33 pm
How long does it take for a lava flow to become stone?

Exactly as long as it takes for you to pour water over it. DF takes place in a world where magma stays hot until water says otherwise.

. . . I can never go back, can I?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Crazy Horse on January 26, 2013, 04:55:55 am
A Goblin ambush! Not to worry, this squad of highly trained marksdwarves should be an even match for the Goblin hammers. Sally forth and rescue the hapless woodcutters!

But why are they closing into melee range? Why are the bloodstains all Dwarven and not Goblin?

It turns out I had pressed enter once too many while recently reconfiguring the squad uniforms and left them completely without crossbows. To their credit they had no qualms about about running up to the Goblin Hammerers and punching them in the breastplate. Had no choice but turn them into civs but dwarves have stubby legs and 15 new rock coffins needed carving.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: codyorr on January 26, 2013, 07:21:59 am
Well, I'll just dig out all this Obsidian for my mega-project. *Does something else for a few minutes before checking on the progress* Hey, what's with all this red stuff. Oh, the volcano was in the designation area. Crap. *Magma pours out of the hole and over the entrance to the fortress killing all the livestock and trapping the dwarves inside due to some hastily built walls* Ah, I'm safe now. *Newly hot stone is dug out* The end.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JAFANZ on January 26, 2013, 08:05:00 am
Quote from: GuesssWho on January 26, 2013, 03:26:19 am
Quote from: Aviator CJ on January 26, 2013, 01:07:54 am
Quote from: GuesssWho on January 25, 2013, 09:55:33 pm
How long does it take for a lava flow to become stone?

Exactly as long as it takes for you to pour water over it. DF takes place in a world where magma stays hot until water says otherwise.

. . . I can never go back, can I?
IIRC if you have DFhack there's an "Embark Anywhere" function, use a larger embark including the one you wish to go back to, pause on start, use "Liquids" to drop water on the magma, repeat a few times to ensure you've obsidianised the surface, & you should be (sort of) good.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on January 26, 2013, 11:49:22 am
Embark anywhere won't help you, but adventure mode will.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: javierpwn on January 26, 2013, 12:02:11 pm
First time using cave-ins to trap goblins, had a hunter with several hunting dogs in the way; the dogs didnt survive the traps....
hunter tantrummed, and killed my chief medical dwarf with a bin inside the meeting hall, where everyone saw him die
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Joemit on January 26, 2013, 09:36:50 pm
I decided to dam a river so I could have the entrance to my fortress floodable when elves nobles goblins came. To do so I decided to drain the river so I could build the floodgates. I built a room with a staircase in it that led down two z-levels to another drainage tunnel to drain the water into a cavern. I forgot that when you dig a staircase and pour water down it the water ends up on the floor below the last floor on which you build the staircase. I was halfway through construction of the room when I decided that this was about time to tunnel out the dirt next to the room's floodgates, exposing the floodgates to water. However I forgot that water flows diagonally too.
This is kinda what the room looked like:
XXXXX~~~~~~~~~~
XS     F ~~~~~~~~~
XS     F~~~~~~~~~
         F~~~~~~~~~
X           X~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Water
X Stone/Dirt
F Floodgate
S Stairway.

So then the water flowed into the room, out into the other rooms. So I thought, well at least this is all I have to clean up. But no, the water flowing down the staircase flowed into the room below the staircase, flooding at least 4 large rooms. I tried to stop the flood with doors and walls, but to no avail. So then I decided to build another room like that one, which actually worked, taking all the water off the map, despite halving my framerate. But the river had been drained, so that was good. After a series of failures, however, I managed to flood it again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Demdemeh on January 27, 2013, 12:09:58 pm
First post.

I set up an embark in what I thought was a fairly safe place in a warm, yellow-sand desert on the banks of a brook, and set about building an above-ground fort. My miners were hard at work creating a basement for me to house my stone workshops and to secure my more valuable stockpiles. The palisade was about a quarter of the way up around the perimeter of what was to be my surface level. All was going pretty well. My masons were pounding out the blocks, and my nest-boxes were in place, and I was pretty confident. Then, in mid-Autumn, "The Dead walk the earth!"

I hadn't noticed the "Tower" in the "neighbors" section of the embark profile...

I just watched as my 11 Trolls (fortbent mod) were swarmed by three pages of corpses, complete with two Necromancers (one of them listed as a fishery worker :P).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mortis on January 27, 2013, 09:12:06 pm
I was just finishing building an emergency reservoir in case of an accident entirely unrelated to a doomsday device I was building when a forgotten beast arrives, slaughters my poorly equipped military, kills a few civilians, then takes up residence in the nearly done reservoir. I quickly wall him in, and divert a river into it. The FB idly swims around in the flooding reservoir, then climbs out of another entrance that I'd forgotten to wall up. He then proceeds to slaughter half my fort, before I cave in the ceiling on him, but the river floods most of my fort, including all my stockpiles and workshops, and then
Urist Mcannoyingdwarf is throwing a tantrum x 20
You can guess the rest
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on January 27, 2013, 09:31:12 pm
How the fuck can a small parrot steal a battleax?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Auroness on January 29, 2013, 06:16:14 pm
Quote from: Demdemeh on January 27, 2013, 12:09:58 pm
... I was pretty confident. Then, in mid-Autumn, "The Dead walk the earth!"

I hadn't noticed the "Tower" in the "neighbors" section of the embark profile...


At least I am not the only one.  :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sinnorfin on January 30, 2013, 05:05:33 pm
My Expedition leader furiously wants to eat some fish on the riverside but is constantly interrupted by a huge immobile sponge..
I forbid the item but he doesnt care.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: chaosgear on January 30, 2013, 05:57:34 pm
One of my recruits is upset about losing her whole family in the centaur attack of '33 and chucked her silver spear into the canyon. Fine by me, she'll just have to fight the lionmen with her bare hands.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: One_Eye_Jim on January 31, 2013, 03:33:33 pm
When my first goblin siege began, I had been experimenting with burrows. I wanted to be sure no shenanigans ensued during the battle, so I made a big burrow out of the entire fort that was deeper than the soil layer. The goblins didn't put up much of a fight(the only injury was to one of my hammerdwarves, who bruised his toe.) I put the military off duty and forgot about it. Months later, the dwarves started dying of thirst en masse. I checked the stocks screen and I still had plenty of alchohol, and that it was even still being produced. I didn't learn what was happening until I checked the actual stockpile. It turned out that the burrow didn't include the food production wing. My brewer was just sitting there on a massive pile of dwarven wine that he wasn't allowed to bring into the fort...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dorftrottel on January 31, 2013, 04:50:14 pm
I just lost a glorious fort to a rutherer: After the last goblin siege my animal stockpile contained about 15 cave crawlers, 10 Trolls, 20+ goblins...and a male and a female rutherer. I never encountered these before so i checked the wiki...
Wow, they are prime breeding stock? It must be my lucky day! So I trained them thoroughly, assigned them to a locked room...and watched them tearing my legendary miner apart who just came back from his break and felt like taking them for walkies.
So i sent my military after him, 6 steel-clad,danger room trained veterans wielding silver warhammers.
They make short work out of the rogue rutherer. I sent them into the animal training room to discover the remains of my miner so that he could be buried before going bad...
Well, it turned out my legendary miner was the wife of my militia commander, and after a glance of her dismembered corpse he decided to go on a rampage. He bashed the brains of his squad in without more than some bruises in return.
My marksdwarves burst in and nail his feet to the ground until they ran out of ammunition...than the proceeded to punish him for his crimes by bashing the butts of their iron crossbows into his helmet...until they die of thirst while the tantrum spiral already begins to flare...
The fate of my fortress was sealed by some curious children, which tried to catch a glimpse on the pincusion-footed, still going militia commander...only have the body parts of their parents thrown at them.
The Population went from 100 to 30(most of them insane) in a month after that. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MonkeyHead on February 01, 2013, 01:04:39 pm
Quote from: Dorftrottel on January 31, 2013, 04:50:14 pm
I just lost a glorious fort to a rutherer: After the last goblin siege my animal stockpile contained about 15 cave crawlers, 10 Trolls, 20+ goblins...and a male and a female rutherer. I never encountered these before so i checked the wiki...
Wow, they are prime breeding stock? It must be my lucky day! So I trained them thoroughly, assigned them to a locked room...and watched them tearing my legendary miner apart who just came back from his break and felt like taking them for walkies.
So i sent my military after him, 6 steel-clad,danger room trained veterans wielding silver warhammers.
They make short work out of the rogue rutherer. I sent them into the animal training room to discover the remains of my miner so that he could be buried before going bad...
Well, it turned out my legendary miner was the wife of my militia commander, and after a glance of her dismembered corpse he decided to go on a rampage. He bashed the brains of his squad in without more than some bruises in return.
My marksdwarves burst in and nail his feet to the ground until they ran out of ammunition...than the proceeded to punish him for his crimes by bashing the butts of their iron crossbows into his helmet...until they die of thirst while the tantrum spiral already begins to flare...
The fate of my fortress was sealed by some curious children, which tried to catch a glimpse on the pincusion-footed, still going militia commander...only have the body parts of their parents thrown at them.
The Population went from 100 to 30(most of them insane) in a month after that.

Yea, you cant really re-use animals the Gobbos use as war mounts. Even if trained they still will attack your civ members.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dorftrottel on February 01, 2013, 03:23:14 pm
Well, now i know :)

The loss of my first fort ever was also self-inflicted: I was still trying to get the military working, so I relied on a bridge to seal my fortress against intruders. Only a bridge covering the 3 tiles wide entrance, no moat underneath it.
When the first ambush came , I restricted movement of all my dwarfs to the inside of my fortress, waited until the last one crossed the bridge and ordered the Lever pulled...
Which then retracted,leaving my entrance wide open. I only read about raising bridges in the wiki so far, so I didn't know they can do that. I must have somehow hit "x" while figuring out how to build the bridge. So I and my Dwarves learned the hard way...also about the advantages of internal doors, which my fortress totally lacked at this point.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slayerhero90 on February 02, 2013, 12:09:15 am
Quote from: Dorftrottel on February 01, 2013, 03:23:14 pm
Well, now i know :)

The loss of my first fort ever was also self-inflicted: I was still trying to get the military working, so I relied on a bridge to seal my fortress against intruders. Only a bridge covering the 3 tiles wide entrance, no moat underneath it.
When the first ambush came , I restricted movement of all my dwarfs to the inside of my fortress, waited until the last one crossed the bridge and ordered the Lever pulled...
Which then retracted,leaving my entrance wide open. I only read about raising bridges in the wiki so far, so I didn't know they can do that. I must have somehow hit "x" while figuring out how to build the bridge. So I and my Dwarves learned the hard way...also about the advantages of internal doors, which my fortress totally lacked at this point.

They automatically start retracting. You have to tell the bridge which way to rise while making it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Insanity X on February 03, 2013, 12:41:27 am
I order my dwarves to start channeling a hill that's only 1 z-level high, with everything supported. One of them, the expedition leader/broker, somehow skids his head along the ground and kills himself.


Tie your shoelaces, people.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: thburns on February 05, 2013, 12:25:55 am
I hurt my palm pretty good today!
After about 8 months of playing this game... And managing stocks the long hard way. I finnaly noticed the [tab] mode button in the stocks screen.
Oh the time saver this will be!

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scorch on February 06, 2013, 05:22:51 pm
I didn't know this, but it turns out that necromancers can raise the dead who are buried in coffins.
Orbtalon fell to an undead swarm raised from its very own dead. More than four hundred undead present when my fortress finally crumbled.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on February 07, 2013, 02:36:48 am
My fort just fell to retired, legendary badass adventurers who immigrated in and, incidentally, are werebeasts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Poncheis on February 07, 2013, 02:58:14 am
Quote from: HugoLuman on February 07, 2013, 02:36:48 am
My fort just fell to retired, legendary badass adventurers who immigrated in and, incidentally, are werebeasts.

Now I learned an important lesson: NEVER retire night creatures adventurers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on February 07, 2013, 03:01:34 am
Quote from: Poncheis on February 07, 2013, 02:58:14 am
Quote from: HugoLuman on February 07, 2013, 02:36:48 am
My fort just fell to retired, legendary badass adventurers who immigrated in and, incidentally, are werebeasts.

Now I learned an important lesson: NEVER retire night creatures adventurers.
Well, never retire them on sites of the civ you're going to play as at least.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: terko on February 07, 2013, 07:00:24 am
Whenever I read about 'flooded my fortress' here I snicker and think: 'What were doors invented for again?' ... and then, well, I lost my last fort to a water leak.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on February 07, 2013, 07:14:06 am
You'd be surprised how often I savescum from a flooded fort through an airlock.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on February 07, 2013, 08:15:46 am
Experiments with magma, part 47: Trying to build a magma forge closer to the surface I built a pump stack, following the wiki's instructions. I made sure to build the components only of magma-safe materials.

But I didn't make sure to only use magma-safe components in construction. In fact, it turns out I accidentally used a decidedly unsafe mudstone piece left over from an earlier water-pumping effort in a key location.

Which ended up killing the pump stack project...and incidentally flooding my existing deep-down magma forge when I tried to salvage the whole mess. Miraculously I lost no dorfs to the entire incident...just an extremely stupid chicken (seriously. What was that thing even doing down at the magma forge level?).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on February 07, 2013, 09:22:34 am
As a Dwarven comedian would put it:

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road go down to the magma forge?
A: To die a horrible !!Death!!

But, hey, that was close... I just got my (expected) SIEGE without preparing for it. *sigh* I guess I'll never learn. Let's see how they'll deal with it.
I could lock the fort, but what's the point... oh, actually: I dug a fast access tunnel. Forget about the "locking down". The blood! The Horror! Gotta fetch some popcorn to enjoy the show!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aviator CJ on February 07, 2013, 11:06:46 am
Quote from: MattStriker on February 07, 2013, 08:15:46 am
But I didn't make sure to only use magma-safe components in construction. In fact, it turns out I accidentally used a decidedly unsafe mudstone piece left over from an earlier water-pumping effort in a key location.

I've always been careful not to make this mistake - my last pump stack used only pitchblende blocks. The idea of radioactivated magma brought me much joy...

My own most recent facepalm came from marksdwarf training. I use captured necromancers to raise zombies as live targets (unlive targets?) But I forgot that my dwarfs considered the necromancer an enemy, and put about 8 iron bolts into him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kpn.Kardif on February 07, 2013, 04:50:15 pm
I had been quite please lately at how my goblinite separating system has been working.  Two stockpiles set up near the entrance of my fort, one for crappy metal items, the other for crappy cloth items, each set up with a minecart that dumps down a chute when full.  The chute from the crappy cloth stockpile leads to the magma sea, the chute from the metal stockpile drops into a quantum stockpile in my magma smelter complex some 120 z-levels below, where it gets melted down.  This system has been working quite splendidly for several years now, and has become quite important seeing as how the only metal ore available at Glowhalls is tetrahedrite. 

So I polished off the latest siege and was in the process of cleaning up the remains when I get a get an alert in big purple letters: Urist McFurnaceOperator has bled to death.  What?!  I zoom to the location to see my legendary furnace operator lying dead in the middle of my smelter complex.  I thought maybe an imp or something had managed to get in from the magma sea, so I checked combat logs.  The top of the list was "The furnace operator is fighting!" Hmm, probably an imp.

The flying small cobalt boot hits the furnace operator in the upper body, shattering the left true rib
The flying iron warhammer hits the furnace operator in the leg, bruising the muscle
The flying silver arrow (24) hits the furnace operator in the throat, tearing the muscle
    a major artery has been opened!

And about 20 other similar entries.  Definitely not an imp, unless it figured out how to throw random metal objects.  It took me a minute to figure out what must have happened...  He must have been at the quantum stockpile picking up an item to melt at exactly same moment that the minecart above dumped a load of fresh goblinite.  Right onto his head.  From 120+ z levels up. 

Note to self: suspend melt metal object jobs while collecting goblinite.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on February 07, 2013, 05:14:16 pm
There's safe. Then there's unsafe. And then there's the average dwarf fort, which remains unrated because the OSHA inspector flatly refused to go anywhere within a dozen miles of the place.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aviator CJ on February 07, 2013, 08:24:29 pm
Quote from: MattStriker on February 07, 2013, 05:14:16 pm
There's safe. Then there's unsafe. And then there's the average dwarf fort, which remains unrated because the OSHA inspector flatly refused to go anywhere within a dozen miles of the place.

Sigging that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on February 07, 2013, 09:14:47 pm
Quote from: MattStriker on February 07, 2013, 05:14:16 pm
There's safe. Then there's unsafe. And then there's the average dwarf fort, which remains unrated because the OSHA inspector flatly refused to go anywhere within a dozen miles of the place.
And still died
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on February 08, 2013, 09:04:11 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on February 07, 2013, 09:14:47 pm
Quote from: MattStriker on February 07, 2013, 05:14:16 pm
There's safe. Then there's unsafe. And then there's the average dwarf fort, which remains unrated because the OSHA inspector flatly refused to go anywhere within a dozen miles of the place.
And still died
There are just that many forts. It's impossible to be further than 12 miles from the nearest one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: foop on February 09, 2013, 08:53:31 am
Need more clothing.  Why am I out of pigtails?  Hmm, it's summer, the pigtail plot should be full of seeds.  I hope I haven't been cooking the seeds or something.  No, I have 200 seeds.  Where are they?

In the farmer's workshop, which has some give/receive orders associated with it and so won't give the seeds back to the generic seed stockpile.  Argh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aviator CJ on February 09, 2013, 01:39:18 pm
I just had a series of facepalms as a result of attempting to completely automate my silk farm. My silk farms are bi-directional - the spider shoots one way, while webs are collected from the other. When ready, I simply had to flip a lever to switch direction. I was looking to automate this by means of a water reservoir repeatedly filling and draining - the idea was that when the tank reaches half-full, the spider would be webbing to the west and my dwarfs collect from the east. Then, when the tank reaches half-empty they would swap sides.

Facepalm number one: When I tested the pressure plate that should have triggered the switch from west to east, it didn't work. At all. Still, I had just moments before the test made the switch with the pre-existing manual lever, so I figured that the commands where sent too close to one another and the gates got confused.

Facepalm number two: One of the pressure plates was too sensitive - it had to wait for the last bit of water to evaporate, and so a floodgate was locked open. This had the result of essentially causing the system to flail out of control, pouring water in more or less randomly. Easy enough to fix, just replace the pressure plate with one with a higher minimum setting.

Facepalm number three: In the process of attaching the faulty floodgate to the new pressure plate, I found I had neglected to put in a manual cut-off system, which left the jammed-open floodgate in the middle of a high-pressure water flow. Trying to time the mechanic's reattachment procedure with the random switching of the raising bridge upstream failed, and accidentally flooded half of the access ways to the system. Luckily, I was able to install some doors to keep most of my fort dry.

Facepalm number four: During the brainstorm to figure out how to get into the floodgate despite the high-pressure water flowing past it I realised that I could have made the design slightly more efficient. I decided that I wasn't even gonna bother streamlining the design, coz here on DF we're all about unnecessary complexity.

Finally, by installing a cutoff downstream, I managed to lock the randomly-opening bridge in the upright position, thus allowing access to the floodgate. Which led to...

Facepalm number five: The floodgate was still up, and I had no way of actually getting it to close. Again, a simple fix. I replaced it with a fresh new floodgate.

Finally, the thing was filling and draining properly! Yay!

Facepalm number six: The mid-reservoir floodgate has the exact same sensitivity issue as the first faulty one. Grr! Fortunately, I already had a system of drawbridges to let me at that particular plate, so repairs should be quite simple. In theory. Maybe.

Facepalm number seven: I already deconstructed the manual lever, which would have made repairs simple. I'm gonna have to get creative now.

Edit:

Facepalm number eight: Somewhere during this whole debacle, the autosave kicked in. "Dammit!" says I, "I could have loaded from before I stuffed the thing up and built it right! I never even thought of that. Now it's too late!" because I don't back up my saves. Still, this is DF, where the difference between an excellent design aesthetic and a royal cock-up is entirely dependent on your point of view.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gentlefish on February 09, 2013, 03:50:30 pm
I now want to build an automated silk farm.

What did you use as GCS bait? was it tamed?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spy227X on February 09, 2013, 08:48:32 pm
Figuring out that Shift-,/. was actually changing the Z-Level.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aviator CJ on February 09, 2013, 09:50:58 pm
Quote from: Pufferfish on February 09, 2013, 03:50:30 pm
I now want to build an automated silk farm.

What did you use as GCS bait? was it tamed?

It was a wild spider, using turkeys as bait animals. I used to use dogs, but it got annoying when puppies got born. If you use birds, then they won't reproduce without a nest box, and they never need feeding.

And now for an update on my progress: After sleeping on the problem, I figure the only option I have is to drain the water supply, which means waiting for winter. Lesson learned: Always, ALWAYS include a manual cut-off switch, which should act up-stream of the fluid logic system of the hour.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mortis on February 10, 2013, 12:45:56 am
My latest fort has had been going very well, despite managing to attract four forgotten beasts and a titan in the last year. However, I failed to notice my barons mandate, and so my legendary+5 carpenter was deemed to have been responsible. Because I handn't bothered with a hammerer yet, my captain of the guard came along and started punching her , since he didn't have a weapon. He didn't have any skill at striker, yet on the second punch
Urist McCaptain punches the carpenter in the head, tearing the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!
The carpenter has been struck down
Her husband (swordmaster, full masterwork adamantine plate/sword/shield) went beserk, killing half the fort before dying from a bad case of arrows, and sending the fort into a tantrum spiral.
I currently have three sane dwarves with only minor injuries tending the dozen or so wounded, and a goblin siege sitting outside.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on February 10, 2013, 03:45:32 am
Nobles or failed moods, they're ALWAYS the catalyst.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on February 11, 2013, 03:49:47 am
Adventure mode, full stop. I've never lasted an in-game month.

Is there some way to make your adventurer a weredragon from the start?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Auroros on February 11, 2013, 09:52:35 am
WereDragons? Mod Dragons to be playable as outsider :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on February 11, 2013, 03:06:07 pm
I added [INDIV_CONTROLLABLE] to the underground animal people. Just be a serpent man, start with as high Ambusher and Biter as possible. All targets human sized and smaller will die, guaranteed, from a single bite. Takes a bit though.

Speaking of outsiders, if this gives anyone ideas, they aren't listed as the enemy of any groups or entities (because they don't inherit the relations of a parent civ) until they actually strike someone from that group, so initially they can retire at any site owned by a faction (kobold caves, bandit camps, etc).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mortis on February 11, 2013, 07:00:57 pm
Is that all you need to do to make a creature controllable in adventure mode?
I'm new to modding, so please excuse me for not knowing this stuff  :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on February 11, 2013, 07:59:04 pm
I've never modded before, where do you put that?

And can you do it with dragons too?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on February 11, 2013, 08:09:28 pm
I believe [INDIV_CONTROLLABLE] is an entity tag. If you're cool with dragons building cities, trading, FIGHTING WARS, then go right ahead. :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on February 11, 2013, 08:11:53 pm
Anyone want to put up a mod in that section with non-hostile adventurer dragons?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on February 11, 2013, 09:39:37 pm
Just give them a civ with the only tags being [CREATURE:DRAGON] and [INDIV_CONTROLLABLE]. They won't actually appear anywhere, and thus no worries about wars or anything, but you can still play as an "outsider" in adventure mode. [INDIV_CONTROLLABLE] can be put anywhere in a civ file to enable "outsider" play, which means you start in some random place with nothing but a spear and a knife (if you have hands), like some kind of primordial caveman. Just a note, you should probably add [CANOPENDOORS] to the dragon's creature file.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mortis on February 11, 2013, 10:30:39 pm
Thanks!  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on February 12, 2013, 01:35:22 am
Oh good, it worked.

And now, back to Facepalm Moments.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on February 12, 2013, 04:36:08 am
Quote from: GuesssWho on February 12, 2013, 01:35:22 am
Oh good, it worked.

And now, back to Facepalm Moments.

Quote from: Future GuesssWho

Got my ass toasted by the same dragon I was adventuring with...

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on February 12, 2013, 09:59:03 pm
No, actually, the dragon died. It walked through a door that had an insanely overpowered bandit on the other side and died instantly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: osunightfall on February 15, 2013, 02:09:45 pm
So I had this fortress I called Coldgraves. I am a firm believer that in dwarf fortress one sets one's own challenges, so my idea for Coldgraves was kind of an eskimo-dwarf kind of thing. No farming allowed, no use of mechanisms, no metalworking. Hunting, fishing, and trading for things only. All constructions had to be above ground, of wood, and could have no more than a single basement with a footprint not greater than the building above it. The biome was near freezing, and the river thaws for only a few weeks each year.

Sometimes dwarf fortress teaches us lessons we already know. I had the fortress up to about 80 dwarves, with a communal longhall, trade depot, kitchen and butcher's shop, and so forth. Everything was going well. If you're a chronic above-ground builder like I am, you know one of the greatest challenges is maintaining your wall. A wall is completely necessary, since just locking yourselves inside buildings is not really a very good defense against sieges, but it eats labor and raw materials as only a megaproject can. So I was expanding the fort to include a barracks, but I discovered that my wall was one tile too close. Ideally, when expanding outdoor walls, you build the entire expansion without deconstructing any part of the existing wall first, so that at no time is your settlement vulnerable. Then you deconstruct the inner wall. But that's a lot of work, and it was just a few little tiles of wall. What was the worst that could happen?

*Urist McCarpenter begins deconstructing wooden wall*
An ambush! Curse them!
An ambush! Curse them!
An ambush! Curse them!

Yes, it turned out there were three squads of goblins loitering just outside the wall. Though I had a competent military, I didn't have enough. They killed about half the goblins before they were themselves killed by marksgoblins (leather armor and wooden bolts are not so hot). The goblins flooded the fortress, killing about 20 dwarves before I successfully got the rest inside the long hall, where I also keep my food for just this kind of emergency. Then I locked the doors and witnessed the worst tantrum spiral I've ever seen. 60 dwarves locked in a 2 z-level 10x10 building. Tempers flared, and the living killed the living until they were outnumbered by the dead. Wives murdered husbands, parents murdered children, and brothers murdered sisters. The most shocking moment came when a seven year old dwarf tore his own father's throat out with his teeth, before being mauled to death by a war dog. The beds contained more corpses, skeletons, and body parts than living dwarves, and the room was constantly purple from miasma. There was nowhere to put the corpses. Those few dwarves left alive slept next to the rotting corpses of their loved ones.

The dwarves lived in that hellhole for over a year. Eventually, of the 60 dwarves who survived the ambush, only 6 remained. But the people of Coldgraves are a harder sort than most. The settlement was a nightmare of corpses, trash, and buildings covered in blood, but I refused to give up. When the goblins finally left, I walled off the fortress from the outside world, including the trade depot, and vowed that the gates would not open again until that catastrophe of the great purge had been undone. My six remaining dwarves spent the next four years hauling clothing, cleaning blood, and burying the dead. Coldgraves is renowned for its expansive and picturesque above-ground graveyards. Finally, after a lot of sweat and toil, coldgraves was ready to function again. After eight years we began getting immigrants again, and reopened trade with the other races. Coldgraves' sole export for the next seven years after that was the clothes and possessions of those who had died. But we did come back from it. Coldgraves is now a sprawling settlement with many buildings and over a hundred dwarves. We have a hospital, wells fed from underground cisterns, a jail, fortress guard, and more sheep than we know what to do with. We are famed far and wide for our masterwork bone-crafts and high-quality dyed clothing. Our crack military of marksdwarves, axedwarves, and giant badgers keep all enemies at bay. We still have problems, but on the whole, life is good. I'm even considering allowing the mining of stone in order to build a great castle to look over the settlement.

In the end, Coldgraves taught me an important lesson: with time and tenacity, any fort can be saved. I send this message to all those who have posted in this thread. Don't give up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spyton on February 16, 2013, 12:06:42 pm
Faithgate is my fortress. Fairly peaceful except for the literlaly never ending ambushes i think i get about 10 minutes of time between them.... 

Anyways Ambush!  Me "Better close the drawbridge and activate the saftey burrow". All dwarves Except random smith "Lets obey the burrow"

Urist McSmith " Im going to wait until the exact moment the bridge is set to lift up and then im going to ignore the burrows"
Drawbridge Activates.
Urist McSmith disapears from screen.  Reapears with broken leg.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ianflow on February 17, 2013, 05:27:55 pm
Recently I found a miner dead, and I assumed it wasn't a murder, because nobody was around.
I did justice later, and there was not a single witness. At all.
Not found drained of blood, no mention of his death.

I decided "well have to convict someone", and my vampiress Velma was already locked up, and I can't convict her for a third blood draining if it didn't happen
So I convicted a capybara
Who had been dead for 8 months prior
On the surface, when the body was 18 layers below the surface
The capybara had also been named, and processed into fine goods

This resulted in every dwarf being outraged at the conviction

Not only did I not know you could convict dead animals for murder, I did it for the laughs, and couldn't stop laughing for 5 minutes
Then, I noticed the tantrums, and how I just made everyone's moods worse simultaneously

EDIT: Two days later, they are still mad about it

ALSO, I made my first ballista ever in game
Loaded it
Made a restricted traffic path so nobody would cross its line of fire
I press fire pretty much to test it
A mother runs past, fine, her daughter seems like she'll go behind

NOPE
She goes IN FRONT OF THE FIRING SLOT
SHE GETS HIT POINT BLANK RANGE
The ballista arrow smears her blood all over the front of the ballista
The mechanic, and his son flee
The arrow nearly hits a wood cutter and his daughter, I mean, it goes diagonally and directly between them
It leaves the map

Half a day passes, she is still standing there, and I think bleeding still
I'm worried, and laughing that a 1 year old dwarf withstood point blank ballista fire

I checked, it says she can't breath, is winded, can't stand, or grasp
She's dead jim
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 18, 2013, 12:30:41 am
Quote from: foop on February 09, 2013, 08:53:31 am
No, I have 200 seeds.  Where are they?

In the farmer's workshop, which has some give/receive orders associated with it and so won't give the seeds back to the generic seed stockpile.
That shouldn't stop dwarves from pulling the seeds out of the workshop and planting them (it doesn't for me). It's a pretty good way to stop seed spam, as at no time is a desired seed in a bag, being hauled around by another dwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: warlordzephyr on February 18, 2013, 09:44:00 am
Quote from: Mortis on February 10, 2013, 12:45:56 am
My latest fort has had been going very well, despite managing to attract four forgotten beasts and a titan in the last year. However, I failed to notice my barons mandate, and so my legendary+5 carpenter was deemed to have been responsible. Because I handn't bothered with a hammerer yet, my captain of the guard came along and started punching her , since he didn't have a weapon. He didn't have any skill at striker, yet on the second punch
Urist McCaptain punches the carpenter in the head, tearing the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!
The carpenter has been struck down
Her husband (swordmaster, full masterwork adamantine plate/sword/shield) went beserk, killing half the fort before dying from a bad case of arrows, and sending the fort into a tantrum spiral.
I currently have three sane dwarves with only minor injuries tending the dozen or so wounded, and a goblin siege sitting outside.

I have noticed that dwarves are a lot less hard headed than they used to be. I had a zombie brain my militia commander with one punch. That fort did not end well.

4 pages of undead, fortunately I managed to kill the necromancers due to luck. My fort above my entrance was working somewhat, but the drawbridge wasn't, though a little way down I had some floodgates, which where shut (though I'd completely forgotten to make traps). Everything in the siege wasn't going too badly, despite the vampire sneaking around, but they where all pretty unhappy. This being the first time I've ever been in danger of a tantrum spiral I wasn't sure what would help, but I knew letting the injured die from thirst wasn't a good idea; I had plenty of booze, but no water supply. So I dug my way into a pool.

Turns out one of the changes to the game has been ramps on the edges of every pool. Half the dwarves inexplicably made a bid for freedom, and where set upon by zombies.

Reclaim impossible, due to a giant fire breathing crab teleporting from safely trapped in a cavern to on the open fields.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on February 18, 2013, 04:46:49 pm
I've found adamantine for the very first time.

It's 60-something levels down, in the middle of the magma sea, and I'm fairly sure I only 'found' it because a magma crab wandered past it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dr_Nocturne on February 19, 2013, 09:32:53 am
All but three of my armed units were hauling metal statues to a stockpile during an elven ambush... We survived but disabled furniture hauling on all of the militia...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kpn.Kardif on February 19, 2013, 02:36:00 pm
My latest expedition had two military dwaves with lvl 5 teaching skill as part of the initial embark crew, in the hopes that they would train new recruits up faster than just the average training (i have recently sworn off danger rooms).  Once I got everything moved underground I set up a barracks and had them start training each other.  They immediately began sparring, much to my satisfaction.  Later that year, I get a message saying "urist mcmilitiacommander has suffocated!".  Looking at the combat logs, it seems that the two sparring dwarves were wrestling, and one grabbed the other's left arm and threw him, slamming him into an obstacle, shattering the upper spine and tearing the upper spine's nervous tissue.  Looking closer at the combat logs, it seems that they spent almost the entire time wrestling and punching each other, despite me having given them lvl 2 axe skill upon embark, and I had three copper axes with me. 

I then checked the equipment screen, as I wanted them to go shieldless to experiment with 2 handed axes.  Instead of removing their shield, I removed their weapons.

palm + face+ head + desk = ouch
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ianflow on February 19, 2013, 06:08:03 pm
I was trying to add a simple plant into my game.
First time modding, add it to the plant standard bit

I load game, new world, and each new world, there is no flux. At all. I use the flux finding bit, put yes. Almost all spaces are red x's, and the flux category is in red.
I've tried multiple new worlds, and I'm a bit worried.
I face palmed due to my own likely stupidity. (And minerals were on the everywhere setting)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gentlefish on February 19, 2013, 06:11:42 pm
The flux finder is being stupid this release. DFhack will help you find it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ianflow on February 19, 2013, 06:13:15 pm
Quote from: Pufferfish on February 19, 2013, 06:11:42 pm
The flux finder is being stupid this release. DFhack will help you find it.

I've been playing since August or so I think. I'm just confused as to why there is a problem now.
Does it automatically update?
Also, I still don't know how to use DFhack

My experiences with this game in terms of game mechanics and modding are my face palms
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gentlefish on February 19, 2013, 06:16:04 pm
Large amounts of minerals mess with the flux finder for some reason. It's been that way since the latest release. There's flux on the map, it's just not showing up in the finder. Lots and lots of false negatives.

In dfhack, type "prospect" and it'll give you the layers of the area.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ianflow on February 19, 2013, 06:19:22 pm
Quote from: Pufferfish on February 19, 2013, 06:16:04 pm
Large amounts of minerals mess with the flux finder for some reason. It's been that way since the latest release. There's flux on the map, it's just not showing up in the finder. Lots and lots of false negatives.

In dfhack, type "prospect" and it'll give you the layers of the area.

I'm also guessing I should just go to the second lowest level of minerals?
Thanks. I'm happy the bacon tree didn't cause it all.
With DFHack, I guess I'll have to wait until I enter the game to check for flux?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GalenEvil on February 19, 2013, 08:40:39 pm
nah, with DFHack when you are looking for a place to set up shop you get the area you want highlighted and then go into DFHack to prospect. It will give you a rough rundown on everything on that highlighted block. Type 'prospect all' without the single quotes and you'll get a little more information added :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 20, 2013, 12:27:03 am
You can also embark and look at the Stones menu. Any layer stones you have will be permitted for general use, even if they're economic. Flux stone is economic and appears in layers, so...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on February 21, 2013, 12:38:29 am
Latest face-palm moment: telling my girlfriend about dwarf fortress.

I am not a smart man.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on February 21, 2013, 01:05:13 am
New fortress. Lunatics from last fortress show up. A child goes berzerker on me, so I enlist everyone.

. . . did a little kid just kill the commander? Shit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aviator CJ on February 21, 2013, 06:25:54 am
A kobold was spotted sneaking into my fort, so I called in my bluemetal axesquad. The commander was the first one on scene. The next thing I know, he goes running the other way leaving a trail of red behind.

"What the... what just happened?" I say to myself, calling up the combat logs.

The Kobold thief strikes the militia commander in the lower left arm with the large silver dagger. The severed part goes flying off in an arc!
The militia commander has bled to death.

Goddammit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snorunt30 on February 21, 2013, 06:17:52 pm
So I tried the Masterworks mod as the kobolds, figured I'd like the challenge. Had issues with lack of wood, metals, and the like, but scrape by until the Elven caravan. Figured I could get all of that off the Elves no issue, since I had plenty of value to trade and they had plenty of each to trade with. The problem? I tried to trade spiked wooden balls and promptly got slaughtered by the Elves due to a lack of a military (no metals), and lack of wood (no arching them) ::). Gotta love forgetting key details when trading with the various races :-[.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on February 22, 2013, 12:33:58 am
Quote from: Niccolo on February 21, 2013, 12:38:29 am
Latest face-palm moment: telling my girlfriend about dwarf fortress.

I am not a smart man.
When I told my girlfriend about DF, she accused me of being on drugs. I'm trying to get her to read Boatmurdered.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Flanderbland on February 22, 2013, 04:21:17 am
Quote from: Snorunt30 on February 21, 2013, 06:17:52 pm
So I tried the Masterworks mod as the kobolds, figured I'd like the challenge. Had issues with lack of wood, metals, and the like, but scrape by until the Elven caravan. Figured I could get all of that off the Elves no issue, since I had plenty of value to trade and they had plenty of each to trade with. The problem? I tried to trade spiked wooden balls and promptly got slaughtered by the Elves due to a lack of a military (no metals), and lack of wood (no arching them) ::). Gotta love forgetting key details when trading with the various races :-[.

Reading this, I just realized why the elves got pissed at me all of a sudden...

My fortress was running low on food and cloth, so naturally I was delighted to see a caravan coming (even if it was elven, I mean, desperate times calls for desperate measures). Hauled all my craft-goods to the depot, and marked all the elves cloth and edible items for trade. However, since my craft-goods were in containers, I think I failed to notice that some wooden items came along (since they were stored in the same containers), because when I tried to trade the elf was like "I will not trade with someone who abuses fine wood in this way".

I was like serious wtf-mode. I mean sure, I tried getting away cheap, but no THAT cheap, and what is all this about wood?

But now I realize what happened... And since they haven't left, I think I'll kill them for insulting my crafts. Yes, that sounds about fair.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zwei on February 22, 2013, 06:24:34 am
Quote from: Flanderbland on February 22, 2013, 04:21:17 am
Quote from: Snorunt30 on February 21, 2013, 06:17:52 pm
So I tried the Masterworks mod as the kobolds, figured I'd like the challenge. Had issues with lack of wood, metals, and the like, but scrape by until the Elven caravan. Figured I could get all of that off the Elves no issue, since I had plenty of value to trade and they had plenty of each to trade with. The problem? I tried to trade spiked wooden balls and promptly got slaughtered by the Elves due to a lack of a military (no metals), and lack of wood (no arching them) ::). Gotta love forgetting key details when trading with the various races :-[.

Reading this, I just realized why the elves got pissed at me all of a sudden...

My fortress was running low on food and cloth, so naturally I was delighted to see a caravan coming (even if it was elven, I mean, desperate times calls for desperate measures). Hauled all my craft-goods to the depot, and marked all the elves cloth and edible items for trade. However, since my craft-goods were in containers, I think I failed to notice that some wooden items came along (since they were stored in the same containers), because when I tried to trade the elf was like "I will not trade with someone who abuses fine wood in this way".

I was like serious wtf-mode. I mean sure, I tried getting away cheap, but no THAT cheap, and what is all this about wood?

But now I realize what happened... And since they haven't left, I think I'll kill them for insulting my crafts. Yes, that sounds about fair.

Want to sell them back their wooden shield? They get pissed, but it was THEM who made that thing.
They sell you wooden logs, but do not want anything made of them? But THEY felled the tree.
...

etc.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bobboy555 on February 22, 2013, 09:19:43 am
When I sent my entire military (3 swordsdwarvesw, 3 marksdwarves) to fight an orc ambush and then another ambush appeared on top of my barracks. then I realised they had gone up though the barracks while the militia were busy being slaughtered. I also had prepared a burrow for this purpose but forgot to stock it...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mortis on February 23, 2013, 12:29:31 am
Firstly, a goblin siege all mounted on giant bats arrived, and more than half of the bats were called dang. Seriously, what is with the random-name generator?
Also, a goblin in that siege was called Song Hatebottom  ??? I mean, seriously!
Edit: In adventurer mode, the only quest anyone in this town will give me is to go kill a vampire with 2174 kills. That may be a bit beyond my peasants capabilities.
Double edit: never mind that, now I'm being told to kill one with 6894 kills.  :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on February 23, 2013, 07:02:15 am
Started a new fort. Found that it had huge supplies of lignite and started stockpiling the stuff for when I got decent ores. I also had tons of wood (jungle embark) so I put a charcoal burner on repeat just for the hell of it (and to piss off any elves that might come by).

I set up things so that the wood destined for the burner, the lignite and the finished charcoal would all end up in the same large storeroom, directly adjacent to the hall where I was setting up my metal industry.



Then I hit magma in a pretty much perfect spot and abandoned the coal project in favor of magma forges.

Fast forward two years, and a magma crab ends up in the forge room during an expansion effort. Militia (which I'd posted next to the construction area for just this situation) goes in to kill it and quickly sorts it out...but in the process one bloody idiot miner dodges into the red stuff, becoming a !!dwarf!!. He then proceeds to run screaming up the central staircase.

Guess which room he ended up falling over in.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ringsea on February 23, 2013, 03:58:43 pm
That face-palm moment where your chief medical dwarf becomes a legendary stonecrafter through strange mood.... When you already have nearly a dozen legendary stonecrafters and only one medical dwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spy227X on February 23, 2013, 05:52:40 pm
Millitary commander kills insane person and becomes Axelord.
The new axelord randomly decides to kill my bats.
And injure my colossuses.
WHAT THE HECK?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Crazy Horse on February 24, 2013, 10:22:05 am
A Giant Sponge? That should be easy practice for my axe militia.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WannabeSpartan on February 24, 2013, 11:15:43 am
When I was digging out a cobalt vein in the cavern area, I didn't notice that I accidentally dug into the middle part of the cave. My fortress of 11 dwarves was destroyed by 3 blind cave ogres, 5 troglodytes, and 1 giant cave spider. I only had 1 mason with a copper axe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: arbiter787 on February 24, 2013, 06:55:49 pm
Quote from: Mortis on February 23, 2013, 12:29:31 am
Edit: In adventurer mode, the only quest anyone in this town will give me is to go kill a vampire with 2174 kills. That may be a bit beyond my peasants capabilities.

Thing is, vampires kill their prey sneakily, so they need not have any combat skill at all while having killed fifty gazillion idiots.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on February 24, 2013, 08:05:06 pm
Quote from: arbiter787 on February 24, 2013, 06:55:49 pm
Quote from: Mortis on February 23, 2013, 12:29:31 am
Edit: In adventurer mode, the only quest anyone in this town will give me is to go kill a vampire with 2174 kills. That may be a bit beyond my peasants capabilities.

Thing is, vampires kill their prey sneakily, so they need not have any combat skill at all while having killed fifty gazillion idiots.

Yeah, I killed a vampire that had 25 kills with an adventurer who was killed a few in-game days later by Random Goblin #5.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ianflow on February 25, 2013, 02:16:39 am
Quote from: zwei on February 22, 2013, 06:24:34 am
Quote from: Flanderbland on February 22, 2013, 04:21:17 am
Quote from: Snorunt30 on February 21, 2013, 06:17:52 pm
So I tried the Masterworks mod as the kobolds, figured I'd like the challenge. Had issues with lack of wood, metals, and the like, but scrape by until the Elven caravan. Figured I could get all of that off the Elves no issue, since I had plenty of value to trade and they had plenty of each to trade with. The problem? I tried to trade spiked wooden balls and promptly got slaughtered by the Elves due to a lack of a military (no metals), and lack of wood (no arching them) ::). Gotta love forgetting key details when trading with the various races :-[.

Reading this, I just realized why the elves got pissed at me all of a sudden...

My fortress was running low on food and cloth, so naturally I was delighted to see a caravan coming (even if it was elven, I mean, desperate times calls for desperate measures). Hauled all my craft-goods to the depot, and marked all the elves cloth and edible items for trade. However, since my craft-goods were in containers, I think I failed to notice that some wooden items came along (since they were stored in the same containers), because when I tried to trade the elf was like "I will not trade with someone who abuses fine wood in this way".

I was like serious wtf-mode. I mean sure, I tried getting away cheap, but no THAT cheap, and what is all this about wood?

But now I realize what happened... And since they haven't left, I think I'll kill them for insulting my crafts. Yes, that sounds about fair.

Want to sell them back their wooden shield? They get pissed, but it was THEM who made that thing.
They sell you wooden logs, but do not want anything made of them? But THEY felled the tree.
...

etc.

To be fair, they don't kill trees.
They GROW the trees into the shapes they sell you, just, with magic apparently

Quote from: GuesssWho on February 24, 2013, 08:05:06 pm
Quote from: arbiter787 on February 24, 2013, 06:55:49 pm
Quote from: Mortis on February 23, 2013, 12:29:31 am
Edit: In adventurer mode, the only quest anyone in this town will give me is to go kill a vampire with 2174 kills. That may be a bit beyond my peasants capabilities.

Thing is, vampires kill their prey sneakily, so they need not have any combat skill at all while having killed fifty gazillion idiots.

Yeah, I killed a vampire that had 25 kills with an adventurer who was killed a few in-game days later by Random Goblin #5.

They kill when their prey sleeps, so as long as you don't sleep in the vampire's home, you should be fine
And their physical skills ease to grow or diminish when they go vamp (so its rare you'd find a legendary axevamp)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on February 25, 2013, 03:51:05 am
If you call vampires out and run, everyone in the room will just team up to hold the vampire down and stab it repeatedly until it dies. There are few things which cannot be defeated by a peasant bumrush.

Unfortunately, Bronze Colossi are one of those things. Not one of my brighter moments...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spectrelight on February 25, 2013, 02:15:42 pm
Shortly after setting up my forge level above some tunnels filled with magma, I was flipping through Z-levels and noticed that something was awry at one of the magma smelters: there was a cloud of smoke and magma mist in the air, and some trails of blood leading to three dead haulers. I quickly sealed off the area to investigate, but couldn't figure out what had happen. I unsealed the area, and another hauler immediately runs into the room and gleefully dives into the magma, throwing another cloud of magma mist into the air. It turns out that I had designated some ore in the tunnel to be dumped, and the dwarves hadn't gotten around to picking it up before I forgot about it, sealed the area and breached the magma pipe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Boltgun on February 27, 2013, 03:30:30 am
I understood I had an undead problem when I got "interrupted by mussel shell" notifications all of sudden. The shells rose from an outside stockpile, so I create a burrow, set the alert and dwarves ran to safety behind my set of doors.

Of course doing so Urist McFarmer dropped a strawberry seed on one of the doors, jamming it open.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on February 27, 2013, 07:17:24 am
That's why I'm always building in drawbridge-based 'blast doors'. Had it happen with a goblin arm that landed on the door after the rest of the goblin got...glass-disked. Lost five dwarves to what should have been a simple test of the trap corridor.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sir Ratburge on February 27, 2013, 07:29:14 am
Butchered a cow on a 'terrifying' map early on in the game to prevent them from starving and becoming zombies, unfortunately the exact opposite happened... the hair immediately came back to life and strangled the butcher then proceeded to strangle a dog which both turned into the undead and finished off the rest of my poor fortress. :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Boltgun on February 27, 2013, 08:20:30 am
Quote from: MattStriker on February 27, 2013, 07:17:24 am
That's why I'm always building in drawbridge-based 'blast doors'. Had it happen with a goblin arm that landed on the door after the rest of the goblin got...glass-disked. Lost five dwarves to what should have been a simple test of the trap corridor.

Behind the doors there is a militia barracks, then two doors, then the fortress. So the fortress itself is safe, maybe.

But that seed caused my second facepalm. Despite the burrow order two dwarves wanted to finish hauling bone bolts to the militia segment. They dodged the shells all the way in the wrong direction and are now outside escaping from hair.

Edit : nvmthe necormancer was found by my militia while puching the shells. He painted the entrance with his arms.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EBannion on February 27, 2013, 11:03:48 am
I embarked on a Terrifying region with some decent mountains and a lot of trees, and I was managing to fend off the horrible beasts and got a good little burrow going.

I moved my dwarves inside and even, despite the repulsive mucous raining from the sky which caused uncontrollable vomiting had managed to get some perimeter defenses and farms working.

Then I butchered a yak and its skin killed everyone in my fortress.

Oops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Silverlock on February 27, 2013, 10:30:08 pm
See, this is the thing about Dwarf Fortress.  Other dwarves are afraid of orcs, dragons, and the dark creatures of the depths, but DF dwarves shiver at night when telling the stories -- some old, some new -- of elephants, carp, unicorns, yak hair, and the most feared killer of all: silent, deadly, all-encasing ice.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ianflow on February 27, 2013, 11:15:16 pm
So I decided I would, out of pity, tame and domesticate the Kobolds
I use a guide on locating kobolds
I use a mod to help locate them
After four save files made, I have the perfect kobold location, and the perfect spot of their above ground cave

I begin cage trapping them after overcoming a bad famine

Unfortunately I am amazed as to how they keep dodging the traps
I swore I had removed trap avoid tag from their file, and somehow, it was still there!

I then made a new world, face palming all the way
Then repeated the problems of "oh great, all kobold caves are too warm or too cold" (I'm a newbie, so I am still trying to manage an efficient and surviving fortress for a few years, without tantrums and too many legendary deaths during my first siege, so I am still trying to manage a heavily forrested, calm, warm fortress)

All in all, in my next embark, I am further amazed that somehow I added pet domesticated, to the giant dingoes, but not the regular ones
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheDarkStar on February 28, 2013, 12:15:37 am
After two fortress involving the circus, goblins, and lots of !!!FUN!!!, I started one without the previous mistakes. However, I realized partway through that I get constant migrants from the old forts. Because of various events in those, almost every migrant is on the verge of insanity. At one point, about a fifth of a migrant wave went insane before reaching my fort, and one valuable dwarf (my old strand extractor) had to be killed after he went beserk. Lesson learned: Start a new world whenever you have a fort that ends badly and you abandon with survivors.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weenog on February 28, 2013, 12:58:53 am
Quote from: TheDarkStar on February 28, 2013, 12:15:37 am
After two fortress involving the circus, goblins, and lots of !!!FUN!!!, I started one without the previous mistakes. However, I realized partway through that I get constant migrants from the old forts. Because of various events in those, almost every migrant is on the verge of insanity. At one point, about a fifth of a migrant wave went insane before reaching my fort, and one valuable dwarf (my old strand extractor) had to be killed after he went beserk. Lesson learned: Start a new world whenever you have a fort that ends badly and you abandon with survivors.

Better lesson: abandon only for terminal boredom, never for too much Fun to handle.  Handle it or die like a dwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on February 28, 2013, 01:07:56 am
I'm pretty sure my moody dwarf wants slade blocks. *Sigh.*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on February 28, 2013, 01:25:12 am
Quote from: weenog on February 28, 2013, 12:58:53 am
Quote from: TheDarkStar on February 28, 2013, 12:15:37 am
After two fortress involving the circus, goblins, and lots of !!!FUN!!!, I started one without the previous mistakes. However, I realized partway through that I get constant migrants from the old forts. Because of various events in those, almost every migrant is on the verge of insanity. At one point, about a fifth of a migrant wave went insane before reaching my fort, and one valuable dwarf (my old strand extractor) had to be killed after he went beserk. Lesson learned: Start a new world whenever you have a fort that ends badly and you abandon with survivors.

Better lesson: abandon only for terminal boredom, never for too much Fun to handle.  Handle it or die like a dwarf.

I think the better lesson here is "No survivors."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grax on February 28, 2013, 01:52:03 am
Quote from: Splint on February 28, 2013, 01:25:12 am
Quote from: weenog on February 28, 2013, 12:58:53 am
Better lesson: abandon only for terminal boredom, never for too much Fun to handle. Handle it or die like a dwarf.
I think the better lesson here is "No survivors."
Quite a challenge in evil biomes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on February 28, 2013, 03:18:22 am
Quote from: Grax on February 28, 2013, 01:52:03 am
Quote from: Splint on February 28, 2013, 01:25:12 am
Quote from: weenog on February 28, 2013, 12:58:53 am
Better lesson: abandon only for terminal boredom, never for too much Fun to handle. Handle it or die like a dwarf.
I think the better lesson here is "No survivors."
Quite a challenge in evil biomes.
Depends. My latest fort (yes, in a zombifying evil biome) had one of my Hydragons annihilate the remains of an AI fragment's bus (spine) EIGHT TIMES before wiping out twelve of my Sapiocoatls in twenty seconds.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Organum on February 28, 2013, 11:24:09 am
Quote from: Ianflow on February 27, 2013, 11:15:16 pm
So I decided I would, out of pity, tame and domesticate the Kobolds
I use a guide on locating kobolds
I use a mod to help locate them
After four save files made, I have the perfect kobold location, and the perfect spot of their above ground cave

I begin cage trapping them after overcoming a bad famine

Unfortunately I am amazed as to how they keep dodging the traps
I swore I had removed trap avoid tag from their file, and somehow, it was still there!

I then made a new world, face palming all the way
Then repeated the problems of "oh great, all kobold caves are too warm or too cold" (I'm a newbie, so I am still trying to manage an efficient and surviving fortress for a few years, without tantrums and too many legendary deaths during my first siege, so I am still trying to manage a heavily forrested, calm, warm fortress)

All in all, in my next embark, I am further amazed that somehow I added pet domesticated, to the giant dingoes, but not the regular ones

Y'know, if you edit the creature file in the object folder of the region you're playing in, you don't have to gen a new world.

For example: You've generated a world, but discovered your Kobolds are amphibious! (why are they amphibious, who knows) Let's say you want terrestrial kobolds, not merkobolds. You just have to go to the data/save/region[whichever region number you're trying to edit]/raw/objects folder and edit the file, then save it and restart DF.

Not sure what the file tree looks like in a Mac or Linux, or even if it's different.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrSparky on February 28, 2013, 06:28:03 pm
Quote from: Organum on February 28, 2013, 11:24:09 am
Not sure what the file tree looks like in a Mac or Linux, or even if it's different.

The only differences between the windows and linux versions are binary files. The folder structure and text files are exactly the same.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ianflow on February 28, 2013, 06:43:17 pm
So my Kobold taming operation was going well
I caught three kobolds in cages, which, I believe they were plain kobolds
Upon being caught, became kobold thieves

And then the kobolds began digging like moles fleeing from the apocalypse
They hadn't dug at all, until something set them off
Which I believe was the dwarf expedition leader, and the outpost liason loading cage traps
They've dug maybe 10 z layers already, which surprises me

And then underground I had a gremlin, who was fought off by being bludgeoned with a wooden crossbow
Which then a troglodyte ran upwards, and started attacking
Through manners which make no sense to me, it escaped to the surface, chasing two dwarves around.

I'm face palming for not securing that cavern sooner, and for not investing in security

EDIT: Turns out there is a separate kobold society nearby, that is sending those thieves I believe

"YOU HAVE STRUCK NATIVE SILVER"
No, the kobolds just struck native silver
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: deve on February 28, 2013, 10:16:14 pm
When I discovered drawing boxes for designations worked not only withing a z-level but across z-levels...

I wasted so much time designating staircases to the cavern floor by floor. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ianflow on February 28, 2013, 10:22:45 pm
Quote from: deve on February 28, 2013, 10:16:14 pm
When I discovered drawing boxes for designations worked not only withing a z-level but across z-levels...

I wasted so much time designating staircases to the cavern floor by floor. *facepalm*

I had this same problem, and facepalmed
Then desk headed I believe
I facepalm each time when I still have the staircase habit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on March 01, 2013, 12:44:19 am
Quote from: deve on February 28, 2013, 10:16:14 pm
When I discovered drawing boxes for designations worked not only withing a z-level but across z-levels...

I wasted so much time designating staircases to the cavern floor by floor. *facepalm*
Didn't used to be that way mind. Had to click "> (enter) (enter) > (enter) (enter) >" more times than is healthy before the 2012 version, could be the wiki glosses over it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lazygun on March 01, 2013, 10:27:45 am
That change itself caused me more than one facepalm. It used to be that I'd mark out the rectangle on the floor above (or below) the one I wanted to dig, and then jump down (or up) one floor before pressing Enter. And then this change came in and I found myself accidentally digging out internal walls all over the place.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Organum on March 01, 2013, 11:08:35 am
Quote from: lazygun on March 01, 2013, 10:27:45 am
That change itself caused me more than one facepalm. It used to be that I'd mark out the rectangle on the floor above (or below) the one I wanted to dig, and then jump down (or up) one floor before pressing Enter. And then this change came in and I found myself accidentally digging out internal walls all over the place.

I did the same thing! Multi z-level designations are one of my favorite recent editions, but they were quite a shock at first.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Giver99 on March 02, 2013, 02:17:52 pm
How do you find the vampires in adventure mode they are never at the place i am told to go there is no cottage there!. there is only a bridge Please Help i whant a vampire adventurure!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on March 02, 2013, 05:50:15 pm
Quote from: Giver99 on March 02, 2013, 02:17:52 pm
How do you find the vampires in adventure mode they are never at the place i am told to go there is no cottage there!. there is only a bridge Please Help i whant a vampire adventurure!!

1.) This is the wrong thread (and wrong forum, really) for this. There's an adventure mode forum, you'll get more help there.

2.) The quest marker points to a general area, not the exact location. Any civilian NPC within that area could be the vampire. Which means that if it's a town...yes, you'll have to go through it and accuse every single one of the bastards. Which is likely going to take about an in-game week for a smaller settlement, cause you no end of frustration and might still miss the target because he just wasn't around when you tried his house.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on March 02, 2013, 06:31:12 pm
Quote from: MattStriker on March 02, 2013, 05:50:15 pm
2.) The quest marker points to a general area, not the exact location. Any civilian NPC within that area could be the vampire. Which means that if it's a town...yes, you'll have to go through it and accuse every single one of the bastards. Which is likely going to take about an in-game week for a smaller settlement, cause you no end of frustration and might still miss the target because he just wasn't around when you tried his house.
Nah, it's not that bad.

In towns with potential vampires, you can go from house to house and ask people for quests. They'll say "Urist McVampire can be found to the *insert direction here* of here" or something along those lines. Keep following their directions and narrow down what house the vamp is in until you find the legendary flashing fish cleaner/farmer/potash maker/etc. Boom, target found.

As for bridges, I just bail those quests and move on to other civs with other quests. I think there's a glitch with a certain kind of vampire-hunting-quest that results in you being directed to a random bridge that doesn't have the vampire showing up. I assume it's a similar glitch to the ones that make the mountainhomes/forest retreats empty sites in adventure mode.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on March 02, 2013, 10:32:19 pm
Di  you look under the water? There may be a sewer exit connected to the river, and the vampire could be hiding down there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on March 02, 2013, 11:18:17 pm
Then there's the lovely issue of possibly having to explore the sewers. That seems more trouble than it's worth to kill one vampire. I never thought of checking for sewers though, I'll have to keep that in mind for my next adventuring.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bar_Barian on March 04, 2013, 05:31:25 pm
The first time I discovered that you can't lock a door that has a sock propping it open...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ianflow on March 04, 2013, 10:26:34 pm
Just had a birdsplosion
I wondered why my frame rate had dropped
Its because I have too many chicks
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheDarkStar on March 04, 2013, 10:35:49 pm
In a recent fort, I had everything smoothed/engraved and lots of other high-value things, but I still had people throwing tantrums and going insane. When I checked for the reason, I discovered that survivors of my previous fort were migrating and arriving miserable. From their history (and one dwarf dropping dead after entering the map), I realized they were from my previous fort, which had ended with most dwarfs dead, but I had ended it before the clowns killed everyone, thus letting a few dozen miserable and bruised/armless/legless migrants go to all my other forts. I had to work carefully to avoid a tantrum spiral, and I don't think I'll be letting any dwarfs survive the fall of my next fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tahujdt on March 04, 2013, 10:40:01 pm
I divided my pony post-apocalypse fort into two parts: A wastelander town above, and a secret black-ops training facility below. I forgot to provide the top with a military. Oops. Then a feral minotaur reaver showed up, and layed waste to the town. When a wastelander caravan showed up, they got slaughtered, and their diplomat too. Now I have the wastelanders after me. And then, the slavers took it down with their puny little peashooters. That was embarassing. Now to buy slaves from the slavers to repopulate the surface town.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shazial on March 05, 2013, 11:27:38 am
I was curious about how the water flows from the big river next to my fortress and started a little winter project, where I dug into the river and tried creating an artificial lake into the middle of the river. Needless to say, spring arrived before I managed to block (read: paid enough attention to) the hole in my wall, and I flooded my main carpentry center, a big food storage, part of my grave yard, and about 1/3rd of the busiest dwarf production area. Ops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Solon64 on March 05, 2013, 04:06:58 pm
This Kobold Camp packaged with masterwork had me curious. "I get to play as cutebolds and inhabit caves and build little mud huts and everything?  YAY!"

So I embarked on a cave and had the little buggers head down to the caverns, figured I'd start a little cutebold village down there.  Yay!

The facepalm came when I forgot that caves often had inhabitants.  I imagine it went a little like this:

"We're in the caves, yay!  We're building huts out of fungi, yay! We're OOHHHMMARGGGERLLL BLEERGGGHHL PANDA DEMON AUUUUUGGGGHHH."

Remaining population: 1 horribly scarred, terrified little cutebold huddling up on a small platform above the cave floor, in his bed, sobbing uncontrollably at the horror of having witnessed his fellow 'bolds being brutally beaten to death by a rythmically undulating panda demon with their own slings, while the panda demon has returned to its lair on a lower level to feed on the remains of the tribe.

EDIT: inb4 "Can't sleep, clown'll eat me."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Boltgun on March 06, 2013, 03:29:11 am
The last human siege gave me more stupid I could handle. I lost 2 legendary fighters because as soon as I gave a station order because they needed to "pickup equipment" and "Go to individual combat drill" at the opposite corners of the map. They got torn apart by panthers.

Turns out they were not wearing any armor. If they dropped it on the corners, why the hell didn't they pick it up during the whole year during the training? Seriously why is that so hard to get your dwarves to wear they bloody uniform?

In comparison, one of the very non legendary sworddwarf kept 10 panthers at bay until his squad got there. At least he was wearing his armor!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on March 06, 2013, 08:51:40 am
Put together an embark profile of my own for the first time. I figured I'd thought of absolutely everything this time and was quite happy with it.

Found a good spot to embark and went to strike the earth...

...

.....

.......

Yeah. No pickaxes.

I'm not sure how that happened, must have accidentally deleted them from the profile somehow. So until the first dwarven caravan came in, my dorfs were stuck aboveground, living in wooden huts. One of them was eaten by a bear, but I'm fairly sure what he actually died of was embarrassment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weenog on March 06, 2013, 03:44:50 pm
Quote from: MattStriker on March 06, 2013, 08:51:40 am
Put together an embark profile of my own for the first time. I figured I'd thought of absolutely everything this time and was quite happy with it.

Found a good spot to embark and went to strike the earth...

...

.....

.......

Yeah. No pickaxes.

I'm not sure how that happened, must have accidentally deleted them from the profile somehow. So until the first dwarven caravan came in, my dorfs were stuck aboveground, living in wooden huts. One of them was eaten by a bear, but I'm fairly sure what he actually died of was embarrassment.

Hahahahaha!

I shouldn't read this thread when I'm eating. I nearly choked.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxy15 on March 06, 2013, 04:02:07 pm
Quote from: Solon64 on March 05, 2013, 04:06:58 pm
This Kobold Camp packaged with masterwork had me curious. "I get to play as cutebolds and inhabit caves and build little mud huts and everything?  YAY!"

So I embarked on a cave and had the little buggers head down to the caverns, figured I'd start a little cutebold village down there.  Yay!

The facepalm came when I forgot that caves often had inhabitants.  I imagine it went a little like this:

"We're in the caves, yay!  We're building huts out of fungi, yay! We're OOHHHMMARGGGERLLL BLEERGGGHHL PANDA DEMON AUUUUUGGGGHHH."

Remaining population: 1 horribly scarred, terrified little cutebold huddling up on a small platform above the cave floor, in his bed, sobbing uncontrollably at the horror of having witnessed his fellow 'bolds being brutally beaten to death by a rythmically undulating panda demon with their own slings, while the panda demon has returned to its lair on a lower level to feed on the remains of the tribe.

EDIT: inb4 "Can't sleep, clown'll eat me."
That's what you get for building huts as kobolds.
What are you, human?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheDarkStar on March 06, 2013, 08:14:28 pm
Quote from: Solon64 on March 05, 2013, 04:06:58 pm
This Kobold Camp packaged with masterwork had me curious. "I get to play as cutebolds and inhabit caves and build little mud huts and everything?  YAY!"

So I embarked on a cave and had the little buggers head down to the caverns, figured I'd start a little cutebold village down there.  Yay!

The facepalm came when I forgot that caves often had inhabitants.  I imagine it went a little like this:

"We're in the caves, yay!  We're building huts out of fungi, yay! We're OOHHHMMARGGGERLLL BLEERGGGHHL PANDA DEMON AUUUUUGGGGHHH."

Remaining population: 1 horribly scarred, terrified little cutebold huddling up on a small platform above the cave floor, in his bed, sobbing uncontrollably at the horror of having witnessed his fellow 'bolds being brutally beaten to death by a rythmically undulating panda demon with their own slings, while the panda demon has returned to its lair on a lower level to feed on the remains of the tribe.

EDIT: inb4 "Can't sleep, clown'll eat me."

You might be sorry to hear this, but that wasn't actually a clown (unless masterwork changes a LOT about the game). It was just a normal forgotten beast, because it was alone and in the caves. Clowns are much, MUCH worse than forgotten beasts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AdjustingPriorities on March 06, 2013, 11:07:41 pm
Well, my first attempt at a danger room went well. Just finished linking up the trap to the lever, sent in Urist McTestee, and leaned in to watch my succes. Short story shorter,(no pun intended, but accepted) do not mistake wooden training spears for wooden menacing spikes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hungry Elephant on March 07, 2013, 08:01:05 am
Quote from: MattStriker on March 06, 2013, 08:51:40 am
Put together an embark profile of my own for the first time. I figured I'd thought of absolutely everything this time and was quite happy with it.

Found a good spot to embark and went to strike the earth...

...

.....

.......

Yeah. No pickaxes.

I'm not sure how that happened, must have accidentally deleted them from the profile somehow. So until the first dwarven caravan came in, my dorfs were stuck aboveground, living in wooden huts. One of them was eaten by a bear, but I'm fairly sure what he actually died of was embarrassment.

This is really ilarious.
I can image the scene:
UristmcExpeditionLeader: ok UristmcCompetentMiner I want a entrance on the side of that hill, then dig 10 Urist down and start to carve working spaces for the workshop.
UristmcMiner cancel dig: no pickaxes
UristmcMiner chases UristmcExpeditionLeader: pickaxes forgot during embark preparations
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Solon64 on March 07, 2013, 10:58:00 am
Quote from: TheDarkStar on March 06, 2013, 08:14:28 pm
You might be sorry to hear this, but that wasn't actually a clown (unless masterwork changes a LOT about the game). It was just a normal forgotten beast, because it was alone and in the caves. Clowns are much, MUCH worse than forgotten beasts.

Well, at first I suspected it was a "mere" forgotten beast (mind you, we're talking about cutebolds, a forgotten beast that would be relatively harmless to dwarves is horrifying to the little sentient vermin called kobolds.  God's sakes they can't even make any decent armor or weapons and they're like a third of the size of dwarves) since, as you said, it was alone and in the caves.  However, it is actually called a Panda Demon (as in there are potentially more than one of them, not just a unique name) and its tile is the tile used for demons, not forgotten beasts.

So perhaps masterwork changes something or I got a bug or what have you, but I'm 99% sure that the fell beast which devoured 6 kobolds in as many seconds is, in fact, a clown which has somehow escaped hell.  I'm gonna go check it in legends right now actually.

EDIT:  Yup, "In a time before time, Elemri began wandering the Underworld." "In the midwinter of 1, Elemri escaped from the Underworld."  Seven or so more lines of "struck down the kobold with a bronze sling."  That's in fact a demon that escaped from hell, settled in a random cave, and 100 years later a small tribe of kobolds blundered in and got brutally fuckmurdered.  And I got to witness it.  Hoo....rayy.....  What are the odds that my first kobold camp play got me to witness what, as I understand it, is the rare coincidence of a demon escaping hell and NOT taking over some humie or gobbo civ, but rather, lying in wait for a hundred years just so he could shut down any hope I had of a peaceful cutebold coexistence with the world.  Bastard.

So yeah.  Can't sleep.  Clown'll eat me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on March 07, 2013, 12:19:38 pm
Quote from: Solon64 on March 07, 2013, 10:58:00 am
What are the odds that my first kobold camp play got me to witness what, as I understand it, is the rare coincidence of a demon escaping hell and NOT taking over some humie or gobbo civ, but rather, lying in wait for a hundred years just so he could shut down any hope I had of a peaceful cutebold coexistence with the world.

Between Armok and Murphy? Damn near 100%.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Solon64 on March 08, 2013, 09:35:54 am
Quote from: MattStriker on March 07, 2013, 12:19:38 pm
Quote from: Solon64 on March 07, 2013, 10:58:00 am
What are the odds that my first kobold camp play got me to witness what, as I understand it, is the rare coincidence of a demon escaping hell and NOT taking over some humie or gobbo civ, but rather, lying in wait for a hundred years just so he could shut down any hope I had of a peaceful cutebold coexistence with the world.

Between Armok and Murphy? Damn near 100%.

I nodded in recognition of the truth of this statement.  And then spewed mountain dew all over my keyboard laughing.  Well played sir.  Well played. *wipes up spilled soda hastily*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ramensoup on March 09, 2013, 06:38:21 pm
I just pastured some hostile war animals in my underground pasture, at Semi-Wild, thinking that my trainers would be able to retrain them before going back to full feral. Evidently not. Everyone is dying, throwing tantrums, and going berserk.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aviator CJ on March 09, 2013, 07:10:20 pm
Quote from: ramensoup on March 09, 2013, 06:38:21 pm
I just pastured some hostile war animals in my underground pasture, at Semi-Wild, thinking that my trainers would be able to retrain them before going back to full feral. Evidently not. Everyone is dying, throwing tantrums, and going berserk.

I believe that enemy war animals will always be enemies, even if you manage to train them - they'll still try to kill your dorfs left right and centre.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrSparky on March 09, 2013, 07:55:32 pm
Quote from: Aviator CJ on March 09, 2013, 07:10:20 pm
Quote from: ramensoup on March 09, 2013, 06:38:21 pm
I just pastured some hostile war animals in my underground pasture, at Semi-Wild, thinking that my trainers would be able to retrain them before going back to full feral. Evidently not. Everyone is dying, throwing tantrums, and going berserk.

I believe that enemy war animals will always be enemies, even if you manage to train them - they'll still try to kill your dorfs left right and centre.

Correct. However if you leave them in their cages except to transfer females between cages for pregnancies you can breed them. That's how I got my pack of War Grizzlies. And a reliable supply of grizzly bear bones and meat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ramensoup on March 09, 2013, 08:16:48 pm
Thanks, I will remember that for next time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mortis on March 10, 2013, 01:53:38 am
Arrgh.
I just built a fully funtioning and sustainable magma reservoir/magma drowning chamber/ magma pump stack to bring the used magma back up to the reservoir and was testing it on a siege... when the game crashed. And I hadn't saved. And now my face has been laminated to my desk.
Damn!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ieb on March 10, 2013, 07:19:55 am
The game likes to laugh at me every once in a while, it seems.
A forgotten beast arrives, a huge monster made of vomit!

Remembering how pathetically weak every FB not made out of at least rock, the military is given a bored "get ready to whack a beast" command. Of course, things never worked out that way.

Problem 1: The FB had deadly dust. That caused a dorf to bleed to death a few seconds after the dust lands on 'em.
Problem 2: Out of the original 40 man military, no one managed to land a killing blow, the FB lost one limb and had everything else beaten to red by the time the soldiers were dead and it lumbered towards the civilians.

In the clusterfuck and mortal kombat within large open rooms that followed, around 100 dorfs died to the FB before someone finally punched the FB's lower body off. Of course by then everyone was miserable, a tantrum spiral was about to kick in, so I gave the order for my floodtrap to be activated, with failsafes removed. The fort flooded completely in about 2 seasons.

4 dorfs survived, who were the only ones who managed to stay near the food-processing or farming levels. Gave the only cave dragon I ever caught as a pet to the metalsmith who had taken an arrow to the lower spine in the past. MAYBE that thing will go with him after abandon now. If not, oh well. A shame. That fort lived nearly 20 years, and that was the only god damn cave dragon I ever saw.

The lesson of this story? Never underestimate vomit. Even more so if there's anything mentioned about "deadly dust" or "poison gas".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ianflow on March 11, 2013, 02:21:30 am
Make my first temperate fort, and it is all great, I learned tips and tricks
TURNS OUT, I forgot dwarves, despite embark presets, are new with every embark
I keep forgetting to reassign roles to which dwarves are best for what *facepalm*

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on March 11, 2013, 07:07:44 am
After about months, I've upgraded my DF to the latest vanilla patch.

/me cheers in awe of the many new things to discover and the many other new things to have fun with - starting at an evil biome.

And to think not even the slightest bit of inorganic-organic matter revives. That, or I'm near a necromancer tower who just raises anything with a gesture. D:

I'd really love to know how they gesture though...Still, fun within first fort year.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on March 11, 2013, 02:17:28 pm
What's inorganic-organic matter?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on March 11, 2013, 04:28:49 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on March 11, 2013, 02:17:28 pm
What's inorganic-organic matter?

I'm guessing what Bronze Collosi and water titans are made of.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on March 11, 2013, 05:35:37 pm
So, just plain inorganic matter then?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on March 11, 2013, 05:48:15 pm
Except alive.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Durmatagno on March 12, 2013, 03:01:21 pm
First one in a little while, I'm pretty lucky and don't get sieged often. My current Masterwork fort, scratch that, last Orc died, anyway, despite having my pop cap at 250, I only got the first two migration waves, and ended at 25 Orcs, counting children born since then. Due to my low pop, I knew know Titans or whatnot would attack, and I never breached the caverns. I get a message, make that SEVEN of them, all within a few seconds of each other, about vile forces of darkness, and then, my project to unleash the clowns and then smash them bridges finished, and they came pouring out. All my Orcs but my legendary weaponsmith were in the dining hall/kitchen so I sealed them in to wait it out. Turns out, I had forgotten that part of my arena fall went through the kitchen. All the sieges, including a warlock one with necromancers, had flying mounts. Long story short, all the mounted siegers and the demons entered at the same time, one Orc, my only military orc, who was wearing full steel plate, had a mithirl bow I stole from elves, and steel jagged arrows, managed to kill ALL the mounts and siegers, and about half the demons before his head ended up inside the torture chamber, 35 tiles away, and the rest of him was a smear against the wall........long story short, be more careful with burrow and defense setup.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Captain Ford on March 12, 2013, 09:39:31 pm
That is one epic orc.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Manze on March 15, 2013, 05:50:16 pm
During a goblin ambush, my military squad of two dwarves takes on nine bowgoblins. Mid-level skills, a mix of copper and iron armour. One of them takes an arrow to the right lung and is rushed to the hospital. They healed him up all good, even cleaning his wounds with soap, and yet he was still blinking as if severely wounded. Check his health screen, nothing wrong. Check his inventory...

They left the arrow in his lung. As far as I know it's still there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on March 15, 2013, 10:38:26 pm
Quote from: Manze on March 15, 2013, 05:50:16 pm
During a goblin ambush, my military squad of two dwarves takes on nine bowgoblins. Mid-level skills, a mix of copper and iron armour. One of them takes an arrow to the right lung and is rushed to the hospital. They healed him up all good, even cleaning his wounds with soap, and yet he was still blinking as if severely wounded. Check his health screen, nothing wrong. Check his inventory...

They left the arrow in his lung. As far as I know it's still there.
Is the arrow forbidden?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Manze on March 15, 2013, 11:09:09 pm
Quote from: Bumber on March 15, 2013, 10:38:26 pm
Is the arrow forbidden?

It wasn't, strangely enough. I checked that. But now I can't figure out which dwarf it was, so I assume it got torn out at some point, since none of my military dwarves have arrows in their lungs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tamber on March 16, 2013, 07:13:23 pm
Only a mild one, today...

Set up an arena/training circle in a great big hole that I dug out; surrounding the central staircase by a room with 4 drawbridges, so that it can be sealed off once the military are in there, and before the cages are opened.

...you can already tell what's coming now, can't you?

Yup. Left one of the drawbridges set to retract.  D'oh.

The trainees were too slow to catch the goblin before he made it up the staircase; but the main army pured him in short order when he blundered right into the militia commander and his war lion; so it wasn't entirely a loss, but the recruits could have done with the training. Now I have to wait for another goblin thief to be caught in the cages.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrSparky on March 16, 2013, 08:23:14 pm
Noticed that one of the doors in the room where we take water from the aquifer was a bit offset from the others.
Figured "Eh, I'll order it evened out with the others, this shouldn't be too different from piercing an aquifer"
Made it so. Dug further into the aquifer than was wise.

So I've got a semi-flooded chamber and the dwarves can't reach the walls they need to in order to close it off even with the pumps running. I then compounded the mess by having them channel out a wall and nearly drowning the resident welfare mom and her progeny when the water pushed them into the channel.

Now digging out a water battery a couple levels below that will be powered by the runoff from this mess.
Realized that if I'm taking from the chamber to power the battery, there won't be enough water to go to the pumps for use topside.
So I'm going to have to drop a divider into the chamber via cave-in and channel into the aquifer and place doors so that I get significant flow to the battery.
And the mess in the primary chamber will still not be fixed. But I'll be able to do away with the topside windfarm and maybe increase bandwidth on the pumpstack. So maybe that will help with the flooding. Or maybe I'll just muck it all up some more. DWARF FORTRESS!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on March 17, 2013, 03:00:39 am
One of the classics:
i assigned some working dwarfs to the military, primarily to cut down on their downtime by giving them waterskins. But while i was at it, i decided it'd be nice to have them capable of actually doing some harm in times of need, so added shields, helmets and crossbows to their 'no uniform' base.
A while later, crow men harassed the mechanics cleaning out bits of other crow men from the traps, so i sent in the militia to shoot them down. The militia arrived... and proceeded to stand around like a bunch of chumps until the crow men flew off by themselves. Slightly baffled, i checked the squad's equipment and indeed, all their quivers were empty.

Only archer squads get assigned bolts at squad creation, all others don't, among them 'no uniform'. I had simply forgotten to add bolts. They've shaped up into a decent archer reserve now, with just over a year of training and shooting flying wildlife.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Manze on March 17, 2013, 03:50:43 pm
Working on getting some more candy for my fort, it didn't occur to me that the spire might go above the level I found it on. Digging into it fro the side, I was suddenly interrupted by horrifying screams. And my military was on the surface. There goes a fort. =/
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Brenticus on March 17, 2013, 09:40:22 pm
My Titan battle was stolen by merchants :(.  While they were busy slaughtering MY turtle god I was accidentally drowning th fortress with an aquifer leak...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necrisha on March 18, 2013, 02:29:15 am
first year above ground Depot in an Terrifying Biome side of the map. I didn't even wall it in on one side yet... The side that suddenly produced Huskfying cursed clouds just after the merchants were settled in to trade. As soon as the first one became a husk- I abandoned...

Actually I think that's more of a headesk one.

and a LOL- WHAT on reclaim as the Outpost liaison and the Merchants were still there and friendly... I haven't hit resume yet as I wanted to Draft my five warriors to handle any berserking. Ended up on the Taiga side of the ocean.

Edit: Turns out the merchants were indeed husks but the liaison is still around friendly...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dr_Nocturne on March 19, 2013, 10:04:06 am
Found out a dwarf throwing a tantrum can dismantle a bridge...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on March 19, 2013, 01:31:32 pm
Quote from: Dr_Nocturne on March 19, 2013, 10:04:06 am
Found out a dwarf throwing a tantrum can dismantle a bridge...

*spits drink* wait, what?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snorunt30 on March 19, 2013, 07:22:17 pm
Thought I was being smart, making glass menacing spikes under a bridge (so if I was attacked), masterwork ones nonetheless, and was in the process of linking all of them to a pressure plate on a commonly traversed hallway. I guess DFHack autolabor decided to choose the one kobold with children to go set these up, mind you they didn't get set off until the last one was about to be attached.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Huh. Thought the mother would be very mad, instead, she is ecstatic ???. Must love that personal bedroom or something :-X
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dr_Nocturne on March 19, 2013, 07:30:26 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on March 19, 2013, 01:31:32 pm
Quote from: Dr_Nocturne on March 19, 2013, 10:04:06 am
Found out a dwarf throwing a tantrum can dismantle a bridge...

*spits drink* wait, what?

It was lowered at the time, but I didn't think a dwarf throwing a tantrum would have the patience to destroy my bridge...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bronimin on March 20, 2013, 05:45:48 pm
-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on March 20, 2013, 05:54:47 pm
Quote from: Bronimin on March 20, 2013, 05:45:48 pm
So I had managed to get my first ever proper fort started up, with food and drink being produced, cloth being made and dyed, and metals being processed. I had managed t set up a half decent defence system (more than I have ever managed before, hah) and a quick use of prospect revealed 30k units of coal and ~60k units of iron producing ore, as well as 100k units of marble. Nice.

That is, until my computer decides that right now would be a perfect time to restart to install updates and, of course, I hadn't saved. Poof goes the fort :C

Ouch. Fucking ouch.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Devling on March 20, 2013, 05:57:33 pm
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on March 20, 2013, 05:54:47 pm
Quote from: Bronimin on March 20, 2013, 05:45:48 pm
So I had managed to get my first ever proper fort started up, with food and drink being produced, cloth being made and dyed, and metals being processed. I had managed t set up a half decent defence system (more than I have ever managed before, hah) and a quick use of prospect revealed 30k units of coal and ~60k units of iron producing ore, as well as 100k units of marble. Nice.

That is, until my computer decides that right now would be a perfect time to restart to install updates and, of course, I hadn't saved. Poof goes the fort :C
And you can't even resettle.

Ouch. Fucking ouch.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on March 21, 2013, 03:28:28 am
You do know there's a setting for autosaves, right?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bronimin on March 21, 2013, 12:09:43 pm
-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on March 21, 2013, 03:19:54 pm
This was in adventurer mode, but . . . the second time you give into starvation because you jumped off a cliff and landed in a tree. Why is there no way to jump down from trees?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lida_Brainbroken on March 21, 2013, 06:00:46 pm
Quote from: GuesssWho on March 21, 2013, 03:19:54 pm
This was in adventurer mode, but . . . the second time you give into starvation because you jumped off a cliff and landed in a tree. Why is there no way to jump down from trees?
Should be fixed with the next release.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on March 21, 2013, 06:08:17 pm
Should be able to fast travel to get out of trees, unless there's enemies about.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slayerhero90 on March 21, 2013, 07:11:18 pm
Had not one, but two cavern collapses while carving out my entrance. In the first one, my Ingotlady broke both her arms. Stoneking got up without a scratch. In the second, Stoneking still suffered no harm. Ingotlady was still in the small hole I dug out as an emergency room. On the bright side, I got a talented swordsdwarf with one-hundred and thirty-three kills under his belt in my first migrant wave, along with four mostly-useless professions, three of which were competent in a weapon ability.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dr_Nocturne on March 21, 2013, 08:10:41 pm
I've made a world where dwarves are extinct, humans are scattered, and elves just fine... May have added too many Beast, and Titans to that world...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on March 21, 2013, 08:28:15 pm
Quote from: Dr_Nocturne on March 21, 2013, 08:10:41 pm
I've made a world where dwarves are extinct, humans are scattered, and elves just fine... May have added too many Beast, and Titans to that world...

But if the dwarves existed at one point, then it's still possible to embark... ACCEPT CHALLENGE?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gizogin on March 21, 2013, 09:06:47 pm
I decided it was time to streamline my smelters.  Because they're more than 100 z-levels below the rest of my fortress, I dug a shaft straight down and set up a minecart system to move stones and ores to the smelters more quickly.  Then, because I'm an idiot, I activated the hauling route without putting in any sort of retarding mechanism for the falling stone.  Two miners and a jeweler had their skulls smashed in before I got it fixed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dr_Nocturne on March 21, 2013, 09:34:30 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on March 21, 2013, 08:28:15 pm
Quote from: Dr_Nocturne on March 21, 2013, 08:10:41 pm
I've made a world where dwarves are extinct, humans are scattered, and elves just fine... May have added too many Beast, and Titans to that world...

But if the dwarves existed at one point, then it's still possible to embark... ACCEPT CHALLENGE?

Nope, it just leads to adventure mode, where I can choose an elf from one of two civilizations or a human outsider... With the amount of monsters roaming about I don't think I would live long... I'll just look at the legends to see what happened...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on March 22, 2013, 12:28:32 am
Quote from: Dr_Nocturne on March 21, 2013, 09:34:30 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on March 21, 2013, 08:28:15 pm
Quote from: Dr_Nocturne on March 21, 2013, 08:10:41 pm
I've made a world where dwarves are extinct, humans are scattered, and elves just fine... May have added too many Beast, and Titans to that world...

But if the dwarves existed at one point, then it's still possible to embark... ACCEPT CHALLENGE?

Nope, it just leads to adventure mode, where I can choose an elf from one of two civilizations or a human outsider... With the amount of monsters roaming about I don't think I would live long... I'll just look at the legends to see what happened...

Again, if they existed at one point, it should be possible to play as them. Maybe they just didn't spawn at all.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrSparky on March 22, 2013, 11:07:55 am
Pulled lever to open the doors to the aquifer powering the waterwheels.
See flooding in the mines
Trace flooding to the lack of a door on the access point to the spillway basin
Pull lever to close doors to aquifer
See that flooding is not ceasing
Find rock that got flushed out from one of the aquifer channels and is holding open one of the doors to the aquifer.

Sigh and prepare to install door to spillway basin against current
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xaioxaiofan on March 22, 2013, 12:26:41 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on March 22, 2013, 12:28:32 am
Quote from: Dr_Nocturne on March 21, 2013, 09:34:30 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on March 21, 2013, 08:28:15 pm
Quote from: Dr_Nocturne on March 21, 2013, 08:10:41 pm
I've made a world where dwarves are extinct, humans are scattered, and elves just fine... May have added too many Beast, and Titans to that world...

But if the dwarves existed at one point, then it's still possible to embark... ACCEPT CHALLENGE?
Weird, I can play as humans if there isn't dwarves in the world. 
Nope, it just leads to adventure mode, where I can choose an elf from one of two civilizations or a human outsider... With the amount of monsters roaming about I don't think I would live long... I'll just look at the legends to see what happened...

Again, if they existed at one point, it should be possible to play as them. Maybe they just didn't spawn at all.
Odd, I can play as humans when there's no dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rellik242 on March 22, 2013, 09:28:09 pm
Just did the durpiest thing ever, and I thought you would all like to know. It's worth mentioning before I begin that I didn't actually facepalm, I just burst into laughter and my own stupidity.

So, I'm setting up a new embark profile, and I did my usual 2miners, 1 wood cutter, 1 carpenter, 1 mason, and 2 food people. Now, whenever I set up items, I always delete everything, and then pick what I want from scratch (To be the most efficient with my points) And this, is where I had my durp. I went to put in 1 axe, and 2 pick axes for my Miners and Woodcutter. However, for some reason, I did the exact opposite. And I did not notice this until I embarked, and noticed my second miner wasn't doing anything. At which point I came to realize I goofed, and started laughing at myself.

Hope someone gets a good laugh outta that. C'ya next time I mess up!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on March 22, 2013, 10:02:58 pm
I've had brain farts like that. Embark dwarf likes steel or bronze? Great, they can make good weapons and armour early. Unfortunately, Weaponsmith and Armoursmith are not next to each other on the list, but Weaponsmith and Metalsmith are...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Morgorin on March 23, 2013, 03:27:51 pm
Well this is a new one for me...

I built a moat out of a river, built a bridge across it and everything.  I had a kobold ambush that was quelched rather quickly, except for one problem: two kobolds went into the moat which actually flows into my fortress via a multiple z-level waterfall.  Apparently, kobolds can swim and they jumped out of the moat and began attacking everything; somehow they didn't die after that fall.  They were put down, but I decided this should not happen again.  I designated a wall to be built on the outside of the moat.  Suddenly, a farmer was discovered drowned!  I zoomed to where he was, and there, at the bottom of the falls, lay no fewer than 4 drowned dwarves (along with 6 dead kobolds, I have no idea where they came from).  Apparently, instead of crossing the bridge like a civilized people, the dorfs were attempting to swim across the quickest, deepest part of the river, right before the falls.  Like savage, stupid beasts.  -_-  Memorial slabs are on their way.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on March 23, 2013, 07:49:08 pm
Found a demon fort for the first time ever. Try to dig around it. 251 undead have now swarmed my fortress.

ETA: New fort. I strike the earth, start digging out farms--and underground trees start growing there before they can be built. WTF?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weenog on March 25, 2013, 02:47:40 am
Quote from: GuesssWho on March 23, 2013, 07:49:08 pm
New fort. I strike the earth, start digging out farms--and underground trees start growing there before they can be built. WTF?

If you've ever breached a cavern and let the subterranean plant spores out, all sites that connect to the same cavern will be spored, whether or not you breach the cavern in the new site(s).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on March 25, 2013, 01:14:04 pm
Weird. And slightly annoying.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrSparky on March 26, 2013, 10:27:17 am
I can't remember doing this last night but I can clearly see that I did.

I ordered a pumpstack dug out. my designating was well done, it's accessible via ramps all the way down. There is supposed to be magma. I specified that I wanted magma in worldgen. I dug down to the bottom. There is no fricking magma. How can I do obsidian casting with no magma?
Missed the edge of the magma sea by 1 tile.

In the process the cavern was breached. There is a blind cave ogre hassling my dwarves. I have no military. I have assigned my hunters and prospective hunters as a marksdwarf squad This is going to be FUN.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shash The Stampede on March 27, 2013, 11:40:21 am
Last fort my front gate wouldn't close properly so a siege got in. Entire military got mangled. Panicked and figured I was doomed so I attempted to flood my fort with the ocean. Was expecting a deluge but it just kind of trickled in. Invaders ran down a level, straight into the animal pens and were spiritedly gnawed by various creatures. The siege now broken I figured I could drain the water into the caverns as a short term solution until I got things walled off. Reopened the caverns, forgetting why I'd closed them in the first place.

Cue FBs. A skinless moose with boiling spittle. And a gaunt coke fiend with poisonous vapors named Gradus. Horror/hilarity ensued.  Animals got killed by Gradus but they managed to take him out in the end. Skinless Bullwinkle rampaged for a bit then I abandoned since this was just the latest in a string of horrors that befell Charmedwires and immigration wasn't replacing the losses fast enough.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Explode_Toad on March 27, 2013, 02:38:45 pm
Only have recently (as in the last 2 weeks) realized that you can build up/down stairs instead of trying to tunnel down using upward ramps...

-)-
 n
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Catsup on March 27, 2013, 05:49:34 pm
i had very bad timing giving my dwarves jobs, and i accidentally gave some dwarves the job to clean out one of my pits by unforbidding the items in them. I was butchering a few corpses at the time too, one of which was a forgotten beast corpse. I ended up wasting around 250 units of meat with one 209 stack due to it all going rotten cuz everyone was too busy to haul it >.<

edit: wait nvm...turns out i forgot to link the butcher shops to my main stockpile (i had to rebuild them to reposition them for a new staircase.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on March 27, 2013, 07:46:53 pm
A useless hauler got a fey craftsdwarf mood...and claimed the candy refining workshop in the metalworking facility...located down 60 or so flights of stairs. Despite there being two other craftsdwarf shops on the surface and much closer to the hauler when he got the mood. Useless peasants.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on March 28, 2013, 03:12:49 am
Quote from: Mr Space Cat on March 27, 2013, 07:46:53 pm
A useless hauler got a fey craftsdwarf mood...and claimed the candy refining workshop in the metalworking facility...located down 60 or so flights of stairs. Despite there being two other craftsdwarf shops on the surface and much closer to the hauler when he got the mood. Useless peasants.
Useless dwarves put the "ded" in "dedication", I guess.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PkGamer on March 28, 2013, 02:37:48 pm
Well I had this great fortress.It was like my second fortress and I was still a newby.These dwarf traders arrive and I'm like ok so here are my stone crafts and OH LOOK.I captured a minatoaur and its in a wooden cage.I bet its save to transport it to the traders and sell it to them.I set it to be transported and once I go out of the trade menu I get annoucements saying that dwarfes are getting killed.I go like WTF?I go to the floor and what do I see there?Dead bodys miasma and this minatoaur knocking out dwarfes,dwarfe children and dwarfe babys.I didnt have a millitary then just some traps.And I had to abandon the fortress since about 3/4 of my dwarfes where goners, the rest was outside.And inside there was a minatoaur running around in pools of blood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weenog on March 29, 2013, 01:16:27 am
Quote from: PkGamer on March 28, 2013, 02:37:48 pm
Well I had this great fortress.It was like my second fortress and I was still a newby.These dwarf traders arrive and I'm like ok so here are my stone crafts and OH LOOK.I captured a minatoaur and its in a wooden cage.I bet its save to transport it to the traders and sell it to them.I set it to be transported and once I go out of the trade menu I get annoucements saying that dwarfes are getting killed.I go like WTF?I go to the floor and what do I see there?Dead bodys miasma and this minatoaur knocking out dwarfes,dwarfe children and dwarfe babys.I didnt have a millitary then just some traps.And I had to abandon the fortress since about 3/4 of my dwarfes where goners, the rest was outside.And inside there was a minatoaur running around in pools of blood.

Technically, you only asked for the cage to be brought to the depot. Not the minotaur.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bastus on March 29, 2013, 01:09:23 pm
I was dumping stone out of one of my huge channels I build to form an artificial underground river. Suddenly I got a few badly hurt dwarfes and one fisherdwarf got killed. Then it struck me I placed the garbage zone next to the channel so my dwarfes climbed up the ramp and throwed the stone down into the channel again. I could slap myself for such idiocy.  >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on March 29, 2013, 08:32:55 pm
FB shows up in the caverns, I recall everybody into the cavern fort (fortification-lined sniper positions around a trap corridor with a drawbridge 'airlock'. I'm kinda proud of that one :P) and let the marksdwarves do their thing.

FB goes down, bleeding and unconscious, and I figure I might as well get the melee guys some practice as well. So I open the trap corridor, give the order...

...Giant Cave Spider out of nowhere. Webs 3 of my dwarves.

While they're in the trap corridor.

I now have two legless dwarves in the hospital and one freshly-engraved slab in the memorial hall.

On the plus side of things, the spider ended up in a cage trap (missing three legs by that point, but it won't need those ever again) and is currently in the process of being installed as the centerpiece of my new clothing sweatshop.

Also, the FB managed to die without any further input from my dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nordak on March 29, 2013, 10:06:28 pm
Quote from: weenog on March 29, 2013, 01:16:27 am
Quote from: PkGamer on March 28, 2013, 02:37:48 pm
Well I had this great fortress.It was like my second fortress and I was still a newby.These dwarf traders arrive and I'm like ok so here are my stone crafts and OH LOOK.I captured a minatoaur and its in a wooden cage.I bet its save to transport it to the traders and sell it to them.I set it to be transported and once I go out of the trade menu I get annoucements saying that dwarfes are getting killed.I go like WTF?I go to the floor and what do I see there?Dead bodys miasma and this minatoaur knocking out dwarfes,dwarfe children and dwarfe babys.I didnt have a millitary then just some traps.And I had to abandon the fortress since about 3/4 of my dwarfes where goners, the rest was outside.And inside there was a minatoaur running around in pools of blood.

Technically, you only asked for the cage to be brought to the depot. Not the minotaur.

I'd actually call that a bug but yea, we'll just release this killing machine into the general population and hual this amazing worthless cage to the depot, oh shit its loose, and hes beating me to death with my own sock.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Solon64 on March 30, 2013, 07:50:26 pm
My facepalm moment?

I turned masterworks "autosave" feature off instead of leaving it at seasonal like it ought to be, particularly with the newest version of masterwork using the newest version of dfhack with all its new, buggy-ish features.

*cue game crash followed by super-sonic impaction of my face through the back of my skull via palm slap*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lue on March 31, 2013, 12:52:59 am
I had recently come back to DF after leaving it alone for a while, to come to a fort that was doing pretty well. I realized though that I was getting bored with this fort I'd come back to, especially after a couple of goblin ambushes came and left. It wasn't a lot of damage they caused, but I didn't feel like playing cleanup on a fort I was already tired of (not to mention I didn't feel like dealing with the surely soon-to-follow goblin siege with a nearly gone military*)

So, I decided to try a cave-in (my first purposeful one, my second total) to destroy most of my fort before abandoning. I dug out a nice center spot for the pillar, channeled the perimeter of the floor that was to fall, and dug all out the space underneath. During this that goblin siege did come, but thankfully they were on the outside of the river and I realized I could pull the drawbridge up in time to stop any mass carnage.

The time came for me to pull the lever to destroy the pillar, and...

Nothing. No cave-in. I abandoned (or technically "gave up to the siege" that was still there), and started over on a new world. Turns out I had to dig out all the space on top of the floor I wanted falling too. ::)

* My military was severely understaffed before the ambushes, so a few kills just about did away with it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on March 31, 2013, 07:42:17 am
Mayor just mandated the production of rock salt mugs.

I think the place is getting to him.

Oh, and this guy absolutely detests bats. Turns out the engraver I ordered to beautify his bedroom a bit loves them...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on March 31, 2013, 04:53:35 pm
Quote from: MattStriker on March 31, 2013, 07:42:17 am
Mayor just mandated the production of rock salt mugs.

I think the place is getting to him.

Oh, and this guy absolutely detests bats. Turns out the engraver I ordered to beautify his bedroom a bit loves them...

I'm sorry, but that is brilliant. If you ever need to turn him insane, that should work great.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weenog on April 01, 2013, 02:32:12 am
Quote from: MattStriker on March 31, 2013, 07:42:17 am
Mayor just mandated the production of rock salt mugs.

I think the place is getting to him.

Oh, and this guy absolutely detests bats. Turns out the engraver I ordered to beautify his bedroom a bit loves them...

Did you get any engravings of the mayor surrounded by bats and looking terrified?  Those are always fun when they turn up in a personal bedroom.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on April 01, 2013, 07:28:20 am
He went nuts after having a mandate ignored and losing his pet somehow (no idea what happened to it. I think it was a chicken or something). I counted 4 bat-related engravings in his room, which may have contributed to his downfall.

Lesson learned: Dorfs with a preference or hatred for any kind of hateable vermin do not belong on engraving duty.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Catsup on April 01, 2013, 11:19:25 pm
i have the same kind of face-palm quite a few times now, since my fort is 10 years old now and needs a lot of managing, i tend to forget to manage things sometimes, specifically the forgotten beast traps. Since forgotten beasts take a while to actually path to my fort after they enter the map i usually tend to forget about them after openning my trap's passage so they end up destroying the furniture bait, then destroying the safety hatch before running to my central stairwell.

Its happened more than a few times now and i lost some good war animals due to 1 particular beast with poisonous gas that caused bleed-outs. Most of the other ones were (luckily) relatively harmless and got taken done by my patrolling war rutherers and jabberers and my squad of marskdwarves who supported.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: fricy on April 02, 2013, 01:58:59 pm
Plenty of faceplam moments, the latest:

The fort I'm building right now is my first one to make it to the magma, legendary military going, the Great Sock Crysis resolved, so I'm pretty proud of myself after all my previous tries failed miserably in lot's of FUN.

So, I have a vampire lady walled away for like 6+ years, made her the bookeper and the Guard Capt. so I can order her around, she has a pretty good quarter, so after checking her a couple of times and making sure she is OK I forget about her...

Until I get a message the she is throwing a tamtrum. Hmm, ok let's see. She is miserable because clothes rotting away and her being exposed. Checking the inventory...she is literaly butt-naked. :D Ok, I can understand her unhappiness, let's see what can I do about that. As I didn't want to let her loose on my fort being so thirsty after all these years, first I try designating a cloth stockpile close by so I can airlock her into it. Stock pile set up, "take from workshops" set up, clothes queued, !WORK! you lazy buggers! Except they wouldn't do it, no cloths delivered. So much for playing it safe.

Time for Plan B: I let her out and order her next to the workshops. She decides instead to run out of the fortress to pull off some blood-soaked sock from a dead goblin. FACEPALM #1 Hmmm, if it works for you honey, who am I to give you fashion advice? :) I go about my other fort business hoping she can take care of herself now, give her some time and lock her in later.

Next time I load the game I check on her: "Hauling animals" WTF? It seems the justice system - which was on hold while she (the Guard Capt.) was walled away - finally kicked in, so now she is down -140z levels to the magma forge for my backsmith who ignored some stupid important mandate. She must have been doing it for some time, because my jail was pretty filled up by that time. Checking the justice screen reveals I have 2 unresolved murders since I let her out, a mason and my recovering legendary militia captain. DAMN YOU! Inventory? Only the VERY SAME blood soaked pair of socks. FACEPALM #2 Apperantly justice system has a higher priority then putting on clothes.

I finally decide to micromanage her into putting on an armor and clothes, she almost makes it to the stockpiles, but instead throws a tantrum, takes off the socks and goes crazy. FACEPALM #3

Now I have a babbling butt-naked female vampire running around in my fort. So far no additional deaths, if she proves to be harmless I'll keep her for style. :D

On a related note: any advice on how to get her blood so I can taint a cistern for making vampires? I wanted to set up a separate Elite Vampire Squad, but now as I can't order her around, it's off the table. :(

f.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on April 02, 2013, 02:02:50 pm
Use doors to control her movement. Channel her into an empty cistern with some lever-triggered spikes on the floor. Pull lever repeatedly until the vampire is puree'd, then add water and designate as a water source.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on April 02, 2013, 04:13:00 pm
i recently realized you can have civilian alerts and assign them to burrows in case of an invasion. if i had known that i wouldn't have to see my fisherdwarves get murdered by invaders
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weenog on April 02, 2013, 04:28:19 pm
Quote from: PDF urist master on April 02, 2013, 04:13:00 pm
i recently realized you can have civilian alerts and assign them to burrows in case of an invasion. if i had known that i wouldn't have to see my fisherdwarves get murdered by invaders

They're fisherdwarfs.  Useless as tits on a bull and they spend most of their time away and alone not winning friends nor influencing people.  What's the problem when they get murdered?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on April 02, 2013, 04:38:04 pm
I personally believe every dwarf have value.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: warwizard on April 02, 2013, 06:00:01 pm
I just used the civilian burrow to put all my dwarves inside, except for one accomplished Carpenter, then I activated my military squads and positioned them near the door, the goblins were not moving so I unlocked the door and watched as the goblins approached doom by bolts fired through fortifications, and one of my military marks dwarves burst out of the door carrying a bin, gets about 40 steps out the door sees the goblins, drops the bin and charges into combat, no crossbow... a short while later the goblins chuckling to themselves, come into vision range of the trade depot and the human traders waiting there, with bows drawn... "FIRE!" well that was one of the shortest sieges ever, 2 dead dwarves and 5 dead goblins, and we sucessfully conducted trading with the humans before they left.

 Face palm #1 Military Dwarves do not respect civilian alert.
 Face palm #2 Military dwarves were not told to wear their equipment at all times.
 Face palm #3 Due to #2 above when I was making a weapon trap at the front door, the crossbows of the squad were available for use in the trap, and yup I'd used his Xbow.
 Face palm #4 Turn off hauling for military dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: terko on April 03, 2013, 09:37:42 am
Quote from: fricy on April 02, 2013, 01:58:59 pm
--- fun text ---

Next time, use 'dump' and a designated area to put the stuff if you want to deliver clothes and other stuff to your imprisoned savely kept vampire. The 'Airlock' variant is very suitable for that purpose.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Necrisha on April 03, 2013, 04:55:57 pm
Quote from: weenog on April 02, 2013, 04:28:19 pm
Quote from: PDF urist master on April 02, 2013, 04:13:00 pm
i recently realized you can have civilian alerts and assign them to burrows in case of an invasion. if i had known that i wouldn't have to see my fisherdwarves get murdered by invaders

They're fisherdwarfs.  Useless as tits on a bull and they spend most of their time away and alone not winning friends nor influencing people.  What's the problem when they get murdered?

Until you have one completely sustain a growing fortress for a year and a half and provide enough shells to buy everything of use from a human caravan yes...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on April 03, 2013, 05:49:29 pm
Yeah, on the right map fisherdwarves are amazing. Minimal investment for a very nice return in food and crafts. Unfortunately they really do get ambushed a lot, since they're usually the ones spending the most time outside your walls and, unlike hunters, don't have the skills to avoid trouble.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Catsup on April 03, 2013, 05:49:54 pm
i forgot to lock the doors to the first floor of my giant cave spider silk farm, and a curious puppy just had to wonder in and so got webbed from friendly spider fire, and promptly falling 1 floor down due to the repeating retracting bridge. The puppy sustained horrible, horrible injuries due to the fall and due to all the webbing that fell on him, but now there was no way for him to get out at all since the second level's bridge is only activated by a manual lever and was another retracting bridge. So i pulled the lever so the puppy could get out from the last level, which is where my dwarves retrieved the silk. The puppy took another round of falling with all the accumulated silk on his back, one of which broke his lower spine so he started suffocating. The puppy soon died, letting out one last muffed "yelp" and his corpse made my dwarves wander into the silk collection area since they wanted to store his corpse in the refuse quantum stockpile. Now my silk operations are shut down for this time since i was doing a stockpile overhaul, and soon there was massive job cancellations, children, other pets, and items getting stuck in the collection zone due to all the webbing and dwarves getting webbed trying to get stuff from it. I ended up just forbidding everything and leaving the door open as well as making the area low traffic, so no more dwarves went inside and the children/pets slowly wandered out. But dam, it was a hell of a mess, so many items stuck in there, clothes, logs, corpses, rotting food, and the place was full of miasma, which proceeded to sink into my central stairwell due to the close proximity to the collection zone.

all because 1 puppy had to be curious...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weenog on April 03, 2013, 11:42:19 pm
Quote from: Necrisha on April 03, 2013, 04:55:57 pm
Quote from: weenog on April 02, 2013, 04:28:19 pm
Quote from: PDF urist master on April 02, 2013, 04:13:00 pm
i recently realized you can have civilian alerts and assign them to burrows in case of an invasion. if i had known that i wouldn't have to see my fisherdwarves get murdered by invaders

They're fisherdwarfs.  Useless as tits on a bull and they spend most of their time away and alone not winning friends nor influencing people.  What's the problem when they get murdered?

Until you have one completely sustain a growing fortress for a year and a half and provide enough shells to buy everything of use from a human caravan yes...

I'd rather have hunters for my automatic food and craft material collection.  You don't get shells for strange moods, but you do get someone who can shoot back when enemies turn up, and ready candidates for a marksdwarf squad if it turns out you need one.

And I'd still rather have a superfluous loner murdered than a gregarious or highly important dwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Porpoisepower on April 04, 2013, 08:08:07 am
One of my soldiers just made an artifact thong, cat leather thong.  No studs but it is bejeweled, and has an image of a necromancer dwarf ascending to king, and crescent moons.  ()() maybe?

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tamber on April 04, 2013, 03:49:40 pm
fgsdfdsfdgsdghphrfgdifs.

Retracting bridges!  >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrSparky on April 04, 2013, 04:25:41 pm
My woodshop was reporting a lack of wood towards the end of a run of bins. I cancelled the job and ordered the overworld deforested. Once the choppers were done I tried finishing the order. No joy. I checked the stockpile, still empty. I opened up therapist and made sure I had wood haulers designated. I did. Just in case the haulers were busy I assigned the labor to every dwarf. Commit changes, unpause, still 20 or so dwarves idle and nobody hauling wood. Made sure the wood wasn't forbidden. I then forbid it, let the dwarves realize it had been done, and reclaimed it. The wood was still not hauled. Removed and replaced the stockpile. Still no hauling. Then I had an odd thought and looked at the orders screen. It seems at some point I had inadvertently changed "Dwarves Gather Wood" to "Dwarves Ignore Wood".

I do not know why that option is there. I can't think of any use for it. But it's there and it seems I used it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Silverlock on April 04, 2013, 07:04:50 pm
Quote from: Porpoisepower on April 04, 2013, 08:08:07 am
One of my soldiers just made an artifact thong, cat leather thong.  No studs but it is bejeweled, and has an image of a necromancer dwarf ascending to king, and crescent moons.  ()() maybe?

Please, for the love of all that is decent, never put cat leather thong near ()() again.  The parenthetic emoticon looks too much like buttcheeks. 


The horror, the horror . . .
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Porpoisepower on April 04, 2013, 08:59:01 pm
I know it's the tackiest thong ever.  Made of Pussy cat leather, with a sparkly stones and a butt!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on April 05, 2013, 01:35:54 am
Goblins, after 1027 years of having trained war Giant Toads, still have not trained them to stop drowning their riders.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: malimbar04 on April 05, 2013, 11:09:45 am
Two war dragons behidn fortifications on rope. Hell yes! they don't breath fire at enemies in that case. uh oh. Two slaughtered war dragons. No mods, just lost two fricken awesome creatures.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: vyznev on April 05, 2013, 04:32:04 pm
Quote from: MrSparky on April 04, 2013, 04:25:41 pm
Then I had an odd thought and looked at the orders screen. It seems at some point I had inadvertently changed "Dwarves Gather Wood" to "Dwarves Ignore Wood".

I do not know why that option is there. I can't think of any use for it. But it's there and it seems I used it.

I suspect it's left over from the days before burrows existed, back when the closest thing we had to civilian alerts was "dwarves stay indoors", and that was so broken as to be nearly useless unless you also forbade everything outside (since the dwarves would run to the entrance, go "eek, sunlight!", run back inside and repeat).  Having an option to tell the dorfs "no, you don't need to bring those logs inside right now" would've been a useful feature back then.

Come to think of it, it could still be potentially useful if you, say, had all your dwarves busy hauling wood to a stockpile when what they should be doing was sealing the hole that was letting water / magma / goblins leak into the fortress.  Of course, just deleting the stockpile(s) they were hauling it to ought to do the trick just as well -- although that could get messy if you had a lot of stockpiles set to accept wood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scorch on April 06, 2013, 01:58:53 pm
Maybe making splints and crutches out of lead is a bad idea.
Make the slow moving wounded even slower. Brilliant.

EDIT (because no posts since I made this one!)
I just realized my dorfs were filling the disconnected cistern I have for my well by drawing water out of the well and dumping it into the filling hole.

Argh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on April 07, 2013, 03:38:20 pm
I just had a noble go from perfectly sane (well, by dorf standards) to berserk in under 10 seconds.

He decided to forbid the export of bone goods. Which was...annoying, since I had a very profitable bonecarving and gem-encrusting industry going. Annoying, but possible to work around.

Except he decided to ban those exports a few seconds before a human caravan, completely loaded down with a massive amount of bone stuff they just bought at my fort, left the map.

I think he got about a bazillion unhappy thoughts all at once. Tantrum, tantrum, berserk. Ended up breaking two workshops, three tables, a chicken and a war dog before some military dwarves finally arrived on the scene to put him down.

The whole mess has also dropped about a dozen other dwarves from 'quite happy with their lot' to 'definitely keep an eye on' status...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doctor_Whiteface on April 07, 2013, 10:15:49 pm
Not quarantining a baby that had had enough shit happen to him that he immediately went berserk on transitioning from "baby" to "child."

Also not quarantining the mom.

Also giving my dorfs a place to meet at and socialize and form friendships at in the first place, something that I've never done before Machinespires. It led to my first (and first fatal) Tantrum Spiral.

So from now on, no meeting rooms. Dorfs get their individual 2x2 rooms with bed, cabinet, and rock coffer. They can socialize with their spouse if they arrive on the map with one, otherwise socializing will have to happen while they're eating.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Catsup on April 08, 2013, 11:59:56 am
urist McRetardedWoodcutter goes to the other side of my wall to cut down a tree that was blocking a wall construction, despite that side being all restricted traffic and the inside being normal traffic. He then proceeds to get chased and kill by 3 zombie rattlesnake men.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StruckDown on April 13, 2013, 12:38:00 am
Finding out a forgotten beast has the unlisted ability to shoot webs as they waltz over my webbed traps, and into my fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kumquat on April 13, 2013, 07:02:29 am
A face palm moment for a very unlucky kobold thief:

Quote
The Merchant grabs The Kobold Thief by the first toe, left foot with his right hand!
The Merchant punches The Kobold Thief in the right lower arm with his left hand, bruising the muscle!
The Merchant punches The Kobold Thief in the head with his left hand, bruising the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!
The Kobold Thief has been knocked unconscious!
That's three different merchants. The thief ran into the depot after getting spotted. Merchants clearly do not like thieves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EBannion on April 13, 2013, 09:50:32 am
Quote from: StruckDown on April 13, 2013, 12:38:00 am
Finding out a forgotten beast has the unlisted ability to shoot webs as they waltz over my webbed traps, and into my fortress.

Yeah, sometimes when the base creature has the ability to web, it doesn't end up in the description. Jerks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrSparky on April 13, 2013, 12:49:17 pm
Embark on riverbank near tower
Start with invasions off to allow preparation of SCIENCE before FUN
Get overrun by giant peach-faced lovebirds
Everybody dies before first caravan arrives
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Exitstrategy on April 14, 2013, 04:39:50 am
Poor fortress planning leaves a 1x1 downward stairwell to my mines, where a giant cave spider wanders up from, webbing a craftsdwarf in the stairwell. Send in the military! Entire military gets trapped with the craftsdwarf... fuck... dig them out! 4 miners get trapped with the 11 other dwarfs. Cave spider is a dick and sits without doing any real attacks and webs for a month straight. I dig a channel to circumvent the webs and must designate a pond. It takes another month of dumping water down a hole to leak into the stairs to free the military and the other dwarves.

The stairwell is sealed off to avoid another mishap and life starts to resume. Then the cave in occurs, re-releasing the spider, only to repeat the fiasco in the hallway that has become 1 square wide in the collapse.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on April 14, 2013, 06:01:09 am
Literal face palm moment: Dwarf axeman fights goblin raiders around my desert oasis. One tries to hit him with a spear, so the axeman dodges...

...face first into a tree. The goblin was using a copper spear. The dorf was in full steel. No way that thing would have hurt more than the 'dodge'...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrSparky on April 14, 2013, 12:56:43 pm
Quote from: MattStriker on April 14, 2013, 06:01:09 am
Literal face palm moment: Dwarf axeman fights goblin raiders around my desert oasis. One tries to hit him with a spear, so the axeman dodges...

...face first into a tree. The goblin was using a copper spear. The dorf was in full steel. No way that thing would have hurt more than the 'dodge'...
Yeah, nobody looks before they dodge. It's not at all uncommon for duels on the lip of a volcano to end with a dodge over the edge.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: uzushio2047 on April 14, 2013, 03:45:31 pm
My discovery that I can  mod my dorfs to NO_EAT, NO_DRINK, and NO_SLEEP...
unaware that this will lock them in a permanent catatonic state whenever they would normally starve to death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on April 14, 2013, 07:03:18 pm
Quote from: uzushio2047 on April 14, 2013, 03:45:31 pm
My discovery that I can  mod my dorfs to NO_EAT, NO_DRINK, and NO_SLEEP...
unaware that this will lock them in a permanent catatonic state whenever they would normally starve to death.

Also no happy thoughts from drinking good booze.

And more Fun: Any time they pass out for any reason, they never wake up. Better hope your legendary soldiers never suffer so much as a broken toe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hetairos on April 14, 2013, 08:22:31 pm
Quote from: StruckDown on April 13, 2013, 12:38:00 am
Finding out a forgotten beast has the unlisted ability to shoot webs as they waltz over my webbed traps, and into my fortress.

Let me guess... a spider FB with poisonous bite?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Id Utalrisen on April 15, 2013, 03:10:25 am
Embarked on a river, wagon is right on the river, and so are a NEST of alligators. Somehow manage to get everyone into a corner field burrow zone unharmed, but.. all the tools and food are still in the wagon.
By mid autumn, we had somehow managed to punch and kick each of them to death (when they were alone, and while everyone survived on berries and pond water) and finally they got their wagon back!.. but no one would work.

turns out, the alligators had bitten ALL of their hands off. I'm sure their handless corpses made pretty snowmen when the carvan finally showed up.

Another goodie:

Make amazing fort with legendary army (all skills maxed out) A general's dog dies, and he flips out, which starts a tantrum spiral. I abandoned the fort after my expertly-trained army is throwing tantrums, and punching everyone's head through.

I start a  new fort on the same continent, because I liked the biome layout, and make an equally amazing fort. Then literally, that group of soldiers I fled from show up as migrants, still in horrible moods, and then precede to punch my new mayor in through the face, and 3 of the most likable dwarves in my new fort..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: terko on April 15, 2013, 08:49:46 am
Quote from: Id Utalrisen on April 15, 2013, 03:10:25 am
I start a  new fort on the same continent, because I liked the biome layout, and make an equally amazing fort. Then literally, that group of soldiers I fled from show up as migrants, still in horrible moods, and then precede to punch my new mayor in through the face, and 3 of the most likable dwarves in my new fort..

That's why you never abandon, let it crumble and die in honor.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Catsup on April 15, 2013, 02:19:00 pm
a magma crab 30 Z levels below shot a fireball at a peasant trying to collect a plant near the magma pool. The peasant ended up dodging the fire ball right into the magma pool, i didnt realize he was dead until the magma sea layer got revealed more and i checked the deceased list.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Z_the_slayer on April 15, 2013, 09:23:02 pm
Mayor demands a lead cabinet for his room.
Mayor ALSO mandates 3 steel spears.

So I ordered my smelters to smelt some galena for the lead, until one of them is beaten by my guard captain.  Apparently, my mayor was mad that I prioritized his stupid cabinet over 3 more extra spears.

WTF DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tahujdt on April 16, 2013, 08:30:32 am
Quote from: Z_the_slayer on April 15, 2013, 09:23:02 pm
Mayor demands a lead cabinet for his room.
Mayor ALSO mandates 3 steel spears.

So I ordered my smelters to smelt some galena for the lead, until one of them is beaten by my guard captain.  Apparently, my mayor was mad that I prioritized his stupid cabinet over 3 more extra spears.

WTF DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
A fine pewter bed and a robin bone door.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on April 16, 2013, 02:50:38 pm
Decided to try for a more impressive aboveground portion to my fort this time around. Had a courtyard a quarter the size of my map, with a wall all around it thick enough to put rooms in. Portions of the wall crossed over some pools, so I floored them over to prevent swimming mounts from sneaking through that way.

When my first goblin siege showed up riding giant olms and toads, I felt a bit proud of my foresight. They'd have to funnel through the gateway, right in front of the barracks where my majority-legendary militia trained full time.

Then I noticed that the swordsgoblins were in a corner of my fort that is not exactly near the gate. How did that happen? Well, long story short: despite flooring over the pool inside the wall, I neglected to floor the portion of the water that extended past the wall into my courtyard.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on April 16, 2013, 07:00:48 pm
Spent an entire season with my dwarves standing around in the cold, cursing my miners, because I didn't realize the extensive designations I'd set weren't connected to a walkable tile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mortis on April 17, 2013, 01:03:38 am
One of my migrant cooks just punched right through the head of some beserking bonecrafter, with only dabbling striker. He then promptly goes insane himself for "witnessing death", and for "losing a friend".
Thats right, he just punched his friends brain  all over the wall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on April 17, 2013, 07:36:34 pm
Quote from: Mortis on April 17, 2013, 01:03:38 am
One of my migrant cooks just punched right through the head of some beserking bonecrafter, with only dabbling striker. He then promptly goes insane himself for "witnessing death", and for "losing a friend".
Thats right, he just punched his friends brain  all over the wall.

(http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/107/2/2/chefpunchhead_by_hugoluman-d6233rm.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gbrngfol on April 17, 2013, 10:37:55 pm
A very strange one just happened to me: The dwarven caravan came to trade as usual and the diplomat goes to talk to my expedition leader/miner. then the expedition leader channels a section of floor square on the diplomat's head. After the diplomat regains consciousness he talks to the leader as if nothing happened, then leaves, very angrily. Maybe I should try a heavier rock next time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on April 17, 2013, 11:24:41 pm
I had a diplomat hit by a ballista bolt while meeting my mayor.
He lived, took my requests for beehives and rum and then left, punching a badger's brains into the elf blood moat on his way out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on April 17, 2013, 11:38:29 pm
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on April 17, 2013, 11:24:41 pm
I had a diplomat hit by a ballista bolt while meeting my mayor.
He lived, took my requests for beehives and rum and then left, punching a badger's brains into the elf blood moat on his way out.

Damnit! I already used up all my drawing time for today!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Safe-Keeper on April 18, 2013, 08:25:06 am
Safe-Keeper cancels post -- wrong thread.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jaxler on April 18, 2013, 11:36:11 am
I used channel instead of up/down stairs by accident. Man, I think I lost around 3 dwarves... 3 out of my 7.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: vyznev on April 18, 2013, 02:06:55 pm
After several years of playing DF on and off, I just realized that making wood blocks out of logs produces more than one block per log. :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EBannion on April 18, 2013, 02:13:00 pm
Quote from: vyznev on April 18, 2013, 02:06:55 pm
After several years of playing DF on and off, I just realized that making wood blocks out of logs produces more than one block per log. :o

This. Only for stone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on April 18, 2013, 05:00:00 pm
Quote from: EBannion on April 18, 2013, 02:13:00 pm
Quote from: vyznev on April 18, 2013, 02:06:55 pm
After several years of playing DF on and off, I just realized that making wood blocks out of logs produces more than one block per log. :o

This. Only for stone.
Wait. Wood logs produce more than one block? I read on the wiki only stone produces more than one block per stone.

When I first found out that crafting stone to blocks was the most efficient for building, I ragequit an entire fort at the thought of all the raw stone I had used up that could've been turned into blocks. A bit harsh of a reaction, but it was a disposable fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on April 18, 2013, 05:56:21 pm
Quote from: Mr Space Cat on April 18, 2013, 05:00:00 pm
Quote from: EBannion on April 18, 2013, 02:13:00 pm
Quote from: vyznev on April 18, 2013, 02:06:55 pm
After several years of playing DF on and off, I just realized that making wood blocks out of logs produces more than one block per log. :o

This. Only for stone.
Wait. Wood logs produce more than one block? I read on the wiki only stone produces more than one block per stone.

When I first found out that crafting stone to blocks was the most efficient for building, I ragequit an entire fort at the thought of all the raw stone I had used up that could've been turned into blocks. A bit harsh of a reaction, but it was a disposable fort.

I am second-hand facepalming. Why not just deconstruct -> blockify -> reconstruct? You could have had some FUN! in trying to keep from caving in a whole tower on top of your dwarves!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: vyznev on April 19, 2013, 07:59:28 am
Quote from: Mr Space Cat on April 18, 2013, 05:00:00 pm
Quote from: EBannion on April 18, 2013, 02:13:00 pm
Quote from: vyznev on April 18, 2013, 02:06:55 pm
After several years of playing DF on and off, I just realized that making wood blocks out of logs produces more than one block per log. :o

This. Only for stone.
Wait. Wood logs produce more than one block? I read on the wiki only stone produces more than one block per stone.

Um... I just tested it again, and it looks like it doesn't, after all. :-\  When I tried it last night, I could've sworn I ended up with way more blocks than I ordered made, but maybe I was just confused.  Does this count as a double-facepalm? :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on April 19, 2013, 11:56:08 am
Quote from: EBannion on April 18, 2013, 02:13:00 pm
Quote from: vyznev on April 18, 2013, 02:06:55 pm
After several years of playing DF on and off, I just realized that making wood blocks out of logs produces more than one block per log. :o

This. Only for stone.

Only since the last "major" release... so... 1 year ago? But yeah, I tend to forget /ignore that anyways. Them lazy masons should always make more blocks for my defense perimeter wall (around the map, three to five wide so that we can stand on it leisurely!), might leave the centre hollow for ammo storage and stuff...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on April 19, 2013, 09:55:04 pm
Quote from: vyznev on April 19, 2013, 07:59:28 am
Um... I just tested it again, and it looks like it doesn't, after all. :-\  When I tried it last night, I could've sworn I ended up with way more blocks than I ordered made, but maybe I was just confused.  Does this count as a double-facepalm? :(
When I was building an aboveground fort as part of a no-picks challenge (picks had been modded out of the game) I insisted on having the carpenters refine all logs into blocks before building anything, under the assumption it'd be faster and resource efficient. It slowed construction a bunch due to waiting for blocks to be made and it seemed I wasn't gaining anything from the process but I did it anyway. In retrospect that was dumb.

So yeah, I did this too. Facepalms all around!

Quote from: Drazinononda on April 18, 2013, 05:56:21 pm
I am second-hand facepalming. Why not just deconstruct -> blockify -> reconstruct? You could have had some FUN! in trying to keep from caving in a whole tower on top of your dwarves!
That was too meticulous and unexciting of a prospect for me. The fort has long since been lost, so meh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: vyznev on April 20, 2013, 02:22:57 pm
OK, I have another one.  My current fortress is being sieged by the goblins.  Inside, dwarves are dying by the dozen, the hospital is full and there's a full-blown tantrum spiral going on.

Is it because the goblins got in?  No, they were nicely ground into goblin paste by my trap corridor while all this was happening.

The actual reason for the deaths and mayhem is that some idiot dorf, for some incomprehensible reason, decided to climb down into my quantum stockpile while his friends were dumping shitloads of iron bars into it.  And then, of course, everyone else rushed in to rescue him, getting mauled by falling iron bars and other random junk as well.

Clearly, my old quantum stockpile design has turned into a dwarf blender in this version.  I'm going to stick to minecart stop exploits from now on.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: doublestrafe on April 20, 2013, 04:51:52 pm
I just carved a huge, curved sky bridge for trade wagons to enter over a chasm, beneath which goblins, following a shorter path, would walk through a dodge-me and be cast into a maze of weapon traps. Hewn from the natural stone, it was to stand as a monument to the power of dwarven ingenuity and excess.

I forgot wagons can't move diagonally.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jonanlsh on April 21, 2013, 12:49:02 am
Today I learnt that barrels can be made out of metal.

I'm gonna cry myself to sleep now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EBannion on April 21, 2013, 12:51:18 am
Quote from: jonanlsh on April 21, 2013, 12:49:02 am
Today I learnt that barrels can be made out of metal.

I'm gonna cry myself to sleep now.

You'll be even sadder when you find out that Rock Pots are the same as barrels and can be made from simple stone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jonanlsh on April 21, 2013, 02:42:04 am
Quote from: EBannion on April 21, 2013, 12:51:18 am
Quote from: jonanlsh on April 21, 2013, 12:49:02 am
Today I learnt that barrels can be made out of metal.

I'm gonna cry myself to sleep now.

You'll be even sadder when you find out that Rock Pots are the same as barrels and can be made from simple stone.

Oh that I knew wayy before I learnt that barrels can be made of metal.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KroganElite on April 22, 2013, 08:48:59 pm
Biggest facepalm waste for me yet:
(http://i.imgur.com/rMOl2bM.png)

cost me 3 candy stones. D:

1.3mill worth of useless crap.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on April 23, 2013, 12:53:31 am
I don't think I've ever had an actually useful candy artifact.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on April 23, 2013, 02:10:20 am
I had Dusksbrighten, which I call Darklight.
Addy long sword, encrusted with garnet and star sapphire, menacing with Hydra bones.
Stolen by a fucking kea.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ultimuh on April 23, 2013, 02:56:18 am
Since when is dwarves Killing goblins useless?
That earring should be put in a hall where all dwarves can be inspired to slay more Goblins!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kuxe on April 23, 2013, 04:32:29 am
Quote from: EBannion on April 21, 2013, 12:51:18 am
Quote from: jonanlsh on April 21, 2013, 12:49:02 am
Today I learnt that barrels can be made out of metal.

I'm gonna cry myself to sleep now.

You'll be even sadder when you find out that Rock Pots are the same as barrels and can be made from simple stone.
Wh.. wh.. what? This can't be... In my deep underground fortress beneath an arctic ocean all of my wood has gone to barrel production to keep my Plump Helmet-reserve large enough to feed my castle for a couple of years in case of a castle-lockdown due to filthy hippie elves goblin sieges. I'm short off everything that is made exclusively out of wood. While my fortress currently consists of three children, since my trained military died to some poisonous forgotten beast, and the rest of the adult population was conscripted USSR-style - I'm sure these three survivors will with the aid of rapid Rock Pot production bring my fortress prosper and glory!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jonanlsh on April 23, 2013, 05:02:33 am
Quote from: Kuxe on April 23, 2013, 04:32:29 am
Quote from: EBannion on April 21, 2013, 12:51:18 am
Quote from: jonanlsh on April 21, 2013, 12:49:02 am
Today I learnt that barrels can be made out of metal.

I'm gonna cry myself to sleep now.

You'll be even sadder when you find out that Rock Pots are the same as barrels and can be made from simple stone.
Wh.. wh.. what? This can't be... In my deep underground fortress beneath an arctic ocean all of my wood has gone to barrel production to keep my Plump Helmet-reserve large enough to feed my castle for a couple of years in case of a castle-lockdown due to filthy hippie elves goblin sieges. I'm short off everything that is made exclusively out of wood. While my fortress currently consists of three children, since my trained military died to some poisonous forgotten beast, and the rest of the adult population was conscripted USSR-style - I'm sure these three survivors will with the aid of rapid Rock Pot production bring my fortress prosper and glory!

rock pots and jugs are a god send for places lacking in wood. which happens to be my current embark site. ROCK POTS FOR THE WIN!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: moondowner on April 23, 2013, 06:52:25 am
For places completely lacking in wood AND coal, even rock pots fail to save the dwarves from sleeping in dirt, while all the wood acquired from traders gets burned to get military somehow equipped.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KroganElite on April 23, 2013, 08:34:44 am
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on April 23, 2013, 02:10:20 am
I had Dusksbrighten, which I call Darklight.
Addy long sword, encrusted with garnet and star sapphire, menacing with Hydra bones.
Stolen by a fucking kea.

LOL..how? Please tell me the wielder died in glorious battle outside and then the kia stole it. I mean...you wouldn't just leave it in a stockpile would you?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reudh on April 23, 2013, 08:37:59 am
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on April 23, 2013, 02:10:20 am
I had Dusksbrighten, which I call Darklight.
Addy long sword, encrusted with garnet and star sapphire, menacing with Hydra bones.
Stolen by a fucking kea.

I had Meng Oarsounded, the adamantine chain leggings made by Meng Oarsounded.
I had another adamantine chain leggings made shortly after that called the something Pyramid of somethings. Lost both invading HFS.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KroganElite on April 23, 2013, 01:18:15 pm
Turkey got imapled by a spear launched from a bridge being drawn. Did not know that was even possible...I had a good laugh, but I feel sorry for the turkey. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kuxe on April 23, 2013, 06:21:12 pm
It's time for some dwarven science.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Exitstrategy on April 24, 2013, 11:47:23 am
Tried channeling out an aqueduct for magma (magmaduct?) that would flow into a channeled out pit. I made a mistake somewhere and the magma flowed directly into my fortress and into my dining hall. So much death... the only survivors were my miner and a dwarven child who had been possessed. I need to re-evaluate my fortress layouts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EBannion on April 24, 2013, 12:03:14 pm
Quote from: Exitstrategy on April 24, 2013, 11:47:23 am
Tried channeling out an aqueduct for magma (magmaduct?) that would flow into a channeled out pit. I made a mistake somewhere and the magma flowed directly into my fortress and into my dining hall. So much death... the only survivors were my miner and a dwarven child who had been possessed. I need to re-evaluate my fortress layouts.

I guess your dwarves weren't prepared; when you're moving magma around you should always have an...

Exit strategy.

>.<

Sorry, it had to be done.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: doublestrafe on April 24, 2013, 11:15:03 pm
Quote from: KroganElite on April 23, 2013, 01:18:15 pm
Turkey got imapled by a spear launched from a bridge being drawn. Did not know that was even possible...I had a good laugh, but I feel sorry for the turkey. :(
Quote from: Terry Pratchett
Maladict dropped his crossbow, which fired straight up into the air*...

*And failed to hit anything, especially a duck. This is so unusual in situations like this that it must be reported under new humor regulations. If it had hit a duck, which quacked and then landed on somebody's head, this would, of course, have been very droll and would certainly have been reported. Instead, the arrow drifted in the breeze a little on the way and landed in an oak tree some thirty feet away, where it missed a squirrel.

I think a turkey is close enough, don't you?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Barek Longboe on April 25, 2013, 11:12:25 am
I saw some raptors and pulled the nearest lever, it was the lever for my floodgate to stop the water of a nearby moat to fload into my fortress, it was my first fort that was acutally doing well.

The first time i encounterd !!FUN!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Catsup on April 25, 2013, 11:24:45 am
i lost a dwarf recently...it was the second adult dwarf to die. He was just a peasant without any friends but i felt it was such a waste that he had to die. It was so stupid though because i set the grate as a restricted traffic area and ordered deconstruction but he fell in anyway due to walking where the restricted traffic area was, and where the grate was being deconstructed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on April 25, 2013, 12:38:19 pm
So...goblin ambush. It happens every now and then. That's why I have walls and moats.

I've just finished digging a new, bigger moat to expand the available surface area. The ambush runs into some of the native fauna (giant desert scorpions...which I'm planning to fill the moat with :P) and gets badly mangled. One survivor dodges into the moat and lands bruised, but still able to fight.

...right next to a dorf who got stuck down there after I removed all the ramps. My attempt to get him out there was abandoned when the 'ambush' panic button sent everybody but the soldiers into their bunkers.

So the dorf (miner), being a civilian, starts to run away.

The goblin follows. And keeps following. Round and round and round...

...they managed 6 full laps of the moat before my marksdwarves got there and managed to stop laughing long enough to put a bolt through the goblin's head.

The scorpion, by the way, was also watching the whole thing with what I have to assume was dry amusement, from the other side of the moat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MouseParade on April 25, 2013, 08:18:55 pm
A recent oversight by myself recently was while making a protective floor over a magma tube I discovered deep down in the earth, I realized (too late) that one tile of the floor had been suspended in the making due to a burrow restriction from an ambush that happened a while ago, the single tile was never constructed.

I noticed the red announcement scroll by and realized a forgotten beast was scaring away all of my furnace operators... oops...

had the tile been constructed the flying three eyed albatross wouldn't have gotten through.
The resulting battle led three of my legendary furnace operators to make cleverly timed dodges from the attacks of the beast right into the magma of the tube. bummer...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Smarmet on April 26, 2013, 08:29:16 pm
I just lost an early fortress trying to build my well. I built a new lever, and then a floodgate to control the channel to the river. Went back to my lever, added a connect to floodgate job and then pull the lever. Simple enough, except I went back to the lever that controlled my wagon gate, and ended up pathing all my dwarves through the neighboring minecart grinder as they dragged in supplies from outside.

On the plus side, I have now successfully tested a minecart grinder.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mortis on April 26, 2013, 10:56:51 pm
My medical system is so bad that my resident badass actually managed to heal from two broken legs, a missing foot and a torn eye before anyone had even gotten around to taking him to the hospital. He then proceeded to dismantle the largest siege I have seen, with 97 goblins, almost on his own.

I really need to fix that hospital ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bluebreaker on April 26, 2013, 11:44:40 pm
after months of search for the vampire, he decides to feast on a wounded soldier in the hospital in front of my eyes...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: moondowner on April 27, 2013, 06:51:47 am
Wanted to direct water from the river to my fortress, dug out the long corridor, channeled out 2 z-levels, now there's open space on the same z-level as the river.
What the hell was I even trying to do. I think I'm an idiot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Solon64 on April 27, 2013, 09:36:01 am
Embarked on a river with a waterfall, the thought process being "Oh cool, cliffside villas for all!"

I was expecting the usual 5-6 z levels.  Waterfall is 36 z-levels tall.  I kid you not.  My.... my poor FPS...  On the less facepalmy side, cliffside villas for all 200 dwarves, not just the nobles and important ones like I had planned on!

Actually, it's doing fine for now, although I forsee problems in the future.  Suspect I'll have to dam it at some point.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on April 27, 2013, 02:10:30 pm
Turkeys?

I had a cave-in involving nothing but sand. There were 5-ish dwarves in the one-wide corridor, with a single turkey in the front square. The turkey apparantly took the entirety of the force of the cave in, since the dwarves were unharmed even though they were enveloped by the dust-wave.

This turkey ended up with 2 broken wings, its spine broken, multiple lacerations, and NO BEAK. That's right, it literally had its beak sandblasted from its face. For it's heroic actions, it was left in a pool of its own blood to eventually suffocate. Then it got chucked in the garbage chute.

Don't talk to me about tragic turkeys.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on April 27, 2013, 02:56:56 pm
i once had a forgotten beast made of melanite with toxic fumes that causes numbness and I'm assuming necrosis. basically on his way to my fortress, he killed like 5 of my dwarves, two of them children before having an epic showdown with a child. this child managed to survive a full MONTH with that bastard, because the beast only thought to choke his throat. the syndrome didn't even affect it. i didn't see any of the necrosis kick in.

when i sent my military down there to kill it, FOUR of my guys got necrosis. life's just not fair.

then i save scummed and got a fleshy crocodile that can shoot webs. (shot to death by marksdwarves).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Porpoisepower on April 28, 2013, 07:14:14 pm
Quote from: dunamisdeos on April 27, 2013, 02:10:30 pm
Turkeys?

I had a cave-in involving nothing but sand. There were 5-ish dwarves in the one-wide corridor, with a single turkey in the front square. The turkey apparantly took the entirety of the force of the cave in, since the dwarves were unharmed even though they were enveloped by the dust-wave.

This turkey ended up with 2 broken wings, its spine broken, multiple lacerations, and NO BEAK. That's right, it literally had its beak sandblasted from its face. For it's heroic actions, it was left in a pool of its own blood to eventually suffocate. Then it got chucked in the garbage chute.

Don't talk to me about tragic turkeys.

I wonder how long it will take Toady to make Sand non self supporting.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Exitstrategy on April 28, 2013, 10:15:01 pm
That awful moment I realized that I could make temporary workshops on the surface until I got my underground work areas set up. So much struggling at the start of a mountain fort that could have been avoided.

Also when I found out how to mass dump items.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: oggimog on April 29, 2013, 06:54:29 am
I fell in love with an underground water storage to fuel my wells. The first time I flooded my entire fortress, because I did not think of the water pressure. Then after I had cleaned up, i forgot to close the floodgates and flooded everything again. Today I dug out the first well in my new forress. Suddenly there was water and blood everywhere. I think I should consider a saver method :D
But for a start I build a drainage at the bottom of my staircase :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on April 29, 2013, 01:29:33 pm
Wells tend to cause blood to pool around them as people bathe at them.


Hm... that'd make an interesting picture.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jervill on April 29, 2013, 08:30:43 pm
I built a nice long exterior wall with a long trap corridor plus a drawbridge & moat in case of sieges...and then the goblins came in on Giant Cave Swallows.

Luckily, the goblins still pathed through most of the weapon trap corridor that was set up and the cave swallows fled from my bowdwarves instead of fighting them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on April 30, 2013, 11:03:11 am
I forgot to build a wall inside of my murky-pool floodgate before letting it fill back up.  A megabeast got in and killed my farmers, mucking up the well as well.

See, I should have built it inside the gat so that even if the gate was destroyed it couldnt get in.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Id Utalrisen on April 30, 2013, 04:06:51 pm
30+ legendary dwarriors are at their battle stations on the bridge before my fort, and the goblin archers are approaching!...and all my dwarves dodge off my bridge into magma. Whoops!

Also, trying DFHack for the first time:
Oh I bet I can mark all the tattered clothes from my inventory, and autodump them into my refuse pile! Instantly, 250+ dwarves have nervous breakdowns because they're all naked. Half of them go berserk within a month, and kill the other half. Whoops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on April 30, 2013, 08:27:24 pm
i had an accomplished sworddwarf in a danger room with his squadmates. he's the only one that not an elite. instead of training his sword up to great, i got his shield skills up to legendary.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on April 30, 2013, 10:27:10 pm
Quote from: PDF urist master on April 30, 2013, 08:27:24 pm
i had an accomplished sworddwarf in a danger room with his squadmates. he's the only one that not an elite. instead of training his sword up to great, i got his shield skills up to legendary.

Not sure why that's a facepalm. When I (rarely) use danger rooms, I always start my soldiers off empty-handed so that they train Armor User up to legendary, then give them a shield until they're legendary with that, then their weapons. They pick up a fair amount of Dodger during that time as well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SnK-Arcbound on May 01, 2013, 12:23:12 am
I had a great fortress going. Accidentally unleashed the circus and was completely prepared for it. If only I remembered that upright bridges were constructions still... I even had time to build a wall before they tore it down.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on May 01, 2013, 12:41:55 am
What? Nothing at present can tear down upright bridges! Or any constructions for that matter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Solon64 on May 01, 2013, 12:52:57 am
Quote from: HugoLuman on May 01, 2013, 12:41:55 am
What? Nothing at present can tear down upright bridges! Or any constructions for that matter.

He means that they tore down the bridge while it was still in the "down" position, which happens a lot to me.  More often when my dwarves are tantrumming rather than by enemies, but still...

My current facepalm:  I just realized I can check the (c)ivilizations screen, go to my dwarf's civ, and check out the trade agreements I made with them.  All this time I've been writing it down manually... *weeps gently*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drecon on May 01, 2013, 06:23:20 am
Wait... you can do that? Who'd've thought?
Still writing it down I guess, I really like to have the list in eyeshot. But I never knew it was actually possible to view it in-game.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on May 01, 2013, 07:54:46 am
And there I was ignoring their desires entirely and selling them all the junk I made from animal bones.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SnK-Arcbound on May 01, 2013, 08:55:41 am
No, the bridge was up, and they deconstructed it. Or it deconstructed from the heat of them, whichever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: usgreth on May 01, 2013, 11:53:19 am
Hrm they shouldn't be able to deconstruct it when it was up, unless possibly if the bridge closes towards them instead of away, that might leave the mechanism exposed?
If it was a bridge made out of lignite/soap/butter however...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on May 01, 2013, 08:07:05 pm
Quote from: Solon64 on May 01, 2013, 12:52:57 am
My current facepalm:  I just realized I can check the (c)ivilizations screen, go to my dwarf's civ, and check out the trade agreements I made with them.  All this time I've been writing it down manually... *weeps gently*

Quote from: Drecon on May 01, 2013, 06:23:20 am
Wait... you can do that? Who'd've thought?
Still writing it down I guess, I really like to have the list in eyeshot. But I never knew it was actually possible to view it in-game.

The agreement disappears from the screen when the liaison shows up again. And since that happens pretty much at the same time as the caravan arrives, waiting until they show up and deciding "let's check and see what they wanted this time" doesn't work.

But yes, in the in-between months, it is very handy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrSparky on May 02, 2013, 10:42:03 am
I ordered my rangers to take out a pack of giant dingos before they could pose a threat to the fort. They charged with empty quivers. All of them. Dwarves:1 legendary dead, 1 lost a foot and lots of blood, 1 broke a leg and lost lots of blood.
Dingos: 2 dead, the rest scattered
Civilian casualties: 0
I should have just restricted to burrows and raised the bridge once everyone was inside. We have a moat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on May 02, 2013, 11:11:15 am
Quote from: Japa on May 01, 2013, 07:54:46 am
And there I was ignoring their desires entirely and selling them all the junk I made from animal bones.
Glad I'm not the only one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZhangC1459 on May 03, 2013, 01:21:44 am
This is more of a "Why the fuck does it work that way" moment as opposed to a self facepalm moment, but WHY oh WHY is it that if wheelbarrows exist, then dwarves refuse to haul without them?

I seriously had to forbid every single wheelbarrow because in addition to the above, stockpiles can only use three wheelbarrows at once, even if you have a max-size stockpile. -.-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on May 03, 2013, 02:39:26 am
Quote from: ZhangC1459 on May 03, 2013, 01:21:44 am
This is more of a "Why the fuck does it work that way" moment as opposed to a self facepalm moment, but WHY oh WHY is it that if wheelbarrows exist, then dwarves refuse to haul without them?

I seriously had to forbid every single wheelbarrow because in addition to the above, stockpiles can only use three wheelbarrows at once, even if you have a max-size stockpile. -.-
Dwarves won't use wheelbarrows for a stockpile if you set the stockpile to use 0 wheelbarrows.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RangerCado on May 03, 2013, 12:36:15 pm
I embarked on a rather nice map, plenty of wood and a river nearby. Started digging then saw the message: Urist mcMiner has drowned. I'm confused since i bridged the river so i check where the bridge is. Theres 3 crocodiles there. I check the combat logs, they bit the miners legs off and then he dodged into the river *facepalm*... i then get my hunter, woodcutter, and other miner over there to kill the crocs with my other 3 dwarves just punching them. 2 of the crocs leave the map while the third is beat unconcious. My hunter then decides to take a shot at it and hits my farmer in the heart. (he gets lucky with friendly fire... *facepalm*) He then fires one more shot that both my last Miner and my Mason dodge... into the river again *facepalm*... I'm left with a team killing hunter, an oblivious carpenter (he was sleeping the entire time), and a tramitized woodcutter who i think is about to go beserk. I also have no picks left. *FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM*

Edit: Just checked the hunters mind. He was inconvienienced today, had no friends on embark, and likes crocodiles... *FACEPALM*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slayerhero90 on May 03, 2013, 01:00:00 pm
Quote from: ZhangC1459 on May 03, 2013, 01:21:44 am
This is more of a "Why the fuck does it work that way" moment as opposed to a self facepalm moment, but WHY oh WHY is it that if wheelbarrows exist, then dwarves refuse to haul without them?

I seriously had to forbid every single wheelbarrow because in addition to the above, stockpiles can only use three wheelbarrows at once, even if you have a max-size stockpile. -.-
Make a bunch of tiny stockpiles and set each to have 3 wheelbarrows.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ZhangC1459 on May 03, 2013, 03:01:47 pm
Quote from: Slayerhero90 on May 03, 2013, 01:00:00 pm
Quote from: ZhangC1459 on May 03, 2013, 01:21:44 am
This is more of a "Why the fuck does it work that way" moment as opposed to a self facepalm moment, but WHY oh WHY is it that if wheelbarrows exist, then dwarves refuse to haul without them?

I seriously had to forbid every single wheelbarrow because in addition to the above, stockpiles can only use three wheelbarrows at once, even if you have a max-size stockpile. -.-
Make a bunch of tiny stockpiles and set each to have 3 wheelbarrows.

But that's effforrrrttttttttt.  *whiny voice*

Quote from: FuzzyZergling on May 03, 2013, 02:39:26 am
Quote from: ZhangC1459 on May 03, 2013, 01:21:44 am
This is more of a "Why the fuck does it work that way" moment as opposed to a self facepalm moment, but WHY oh WHY is it that if wheelbarrows exist, then dwarves refuse to haul without them?

I seriously had to forbid every single wheelbarrow because in addition to the above, stockpiles can only use three wheelbarrows at once, even if you have a max-size stockpile. -.-
Dwarves won't use wheelbarrows for a stockpile if you set the stockpile to use 0 wheelbarrows.

Ah.  It's still stupid that it doesn't let me use more than 3 for a huge stockpile though, wheelbarrows are in fact really nice.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on May 03, 2013, 04:43:46 pm
Quote from: RangerCado on May 03, 2013, 12:36:15 pm
My hunter then decides to take a shot at it and hits my farmer in the heart. (he gets lucky with friendly fire... *facepalm*)
DF doesn't have friendly fire for ranged weapons.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RangerCado on May 03, 2013, 05:30:15 pm
modded projectiles for more "FUN", didn't think it was cause a problem this early.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on May 04, 2013, 12:56:41 pm
Argh, goddamn broker. He was on break, and guess what, he was utterly convinced right in the middle of the goblin lancer ambush squad was a nice place to rest. Well, he got his rest, but it ended up a lot longer than he anticipated. Especially annoying was that it was really 'on break' idiocy - everything in the area was blanket-forbidden - and he brazenly ignored an emergency station order, because apparently it was much more urgent to go out there and eat some spears.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deathworks on May 05, 2013, 10:29:12 am
Hi!

Quote from: Drazinononda on May 01, 2013, 08:07:05 pm
The agreement disappears from the screen when the liaison shows up again. And since that happens pretty much at the same time as the caravan arrives, waiting until they show up and deciding "let's check and see what they wanted this time" doesn't work.

But yes, in the in-between months, it is very handy.

As for during trade, my advice is to move all the goods you can part with to the trade depot. The items the merchants want will be listed with higher prices in the trade screen (and you can see the real price by looking at the item in detail in the trade screen, 'v', I think). In past versions, elves sometimes also paid higher or lower prices for certain decorations. Since the higher prices depend on their desire to get the goods in percentages, they are usually not round prices like the normal prices objects have (20, 100, 400, 480, ...), so if you see something like 362 as a price, you probably have something the merchants care for and should check. This way, you can always get the most out of each bargain.

Yours,
Deathworks
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nebullaron on May 08, 2013, 02:26:25 am
Not exactly a facepalm moment, but... well a walled corridor full of weapon traps is the first line of defense in my new fort, SearingArches. So at a certain point I was fancying creating a +1z level of walls for the hell of it. Guess what, the top of the first level of walls was littered with goblin and troll arms, legs, heads.... There was even a head stuck in a tree about 10-15 squares to the side of the wall, how that happened I cannot even fathom... Should I cut the tree down ? Or leave it as a warning for future sieges? :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrSparky on May 08, 2013, 10:28:06 am
Quote from: Nebullaron on May 08, 2013, 02:26:25 am
There was even a head stuck in a tree about 10-15 squares to the side of the wall, how that happened I cannot even fathom... Should I cut the tree down ? Or leave it as a warning for future sieges? :)
Leave it. Unless you get necros. They'll reanimate it and... You know what, leave it. Especially if you get necros.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on May 10, 2013, 03:53:00 pm
Have marksdwarves permanently overlooking the tree. When a necromancer comes by and reanimates it, the head will immediately get a face full of bolts and be deanimated. When the necromancer who is still standing nearby reananimates it...

Would probably be more efficient with a carefully-placed 1x1 chamber with a hammer trap and a corpse, but you may as well do something with your head-in-a-tree.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: usgreth on May 10, 2013, 07:09:43 pm
This is a rope reed fiber thong. All craftmanship is of the highest quality. It is encrusted with limestone, studded with adamantine and encircled with bands of clay and capybara leather. It is made from rope reed fiber cloth. This object menaces with spikes of pig tail fiber, violet spessartine and horse bone.
On the item is an image of Onol the Fiery Mountain, the deity of volcanos, fire and metals depicted as a male dwarf in rope reed fiber. Onol the Fiery Mountain is screaming.
On the item is an image of Boltpregnant the adamantine crossbow in zinc.


I can't blame Onol for screaming. What is worse, this fort has another artifact undergarment with an image of a different artifact adamantine crossbow  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on May 10, 2013, 08:26:36 pm
Quote from: usgreth on May 10, 2013, 07:09:43 pm
This is a rope reed fiber thong. All craftmanship is of the highest quality. It is encrusted with limestone, studded with adamantine and encircled with bands of clay and capybara leather. It is made from rope reed fiber cloth. This object menaces with spikes of pig tail fiber, violet spessartine and horse bone.
On the item is an image of Onol the Fiery Mountain, the deity of volcanos, fire and metals depicted as a male dwarf in rope reed fiber. Onol the Fiery Mountain is screaming.
On the item is an image of Boltpregnant the adamantine crossbow in zinc.


I can't blame Onol for screaming. What is worse, this fort has another artifact undergarment with an image of a different artifact adamantine crossbow  ::)
Well the xbow's not called Bolt-Pregnant for nothing :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gentlefish on May 11, 2013, 01:17:01 am
it's not a crossbow, it's a codpiece :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: obsidian919 on May 11, 2013, 04:35:16 pm
Not learning how to trade for an anvil long after I hit 100k wealth and 80 dwarves. Oddly enough, the hill titan that came was easy. Goblin ambushes nearly killed the entire fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on May 11, 2013, 06:16:14 pm
Quote from: usgreth on May 10, 2013, 07:09:43 pm
This is a rope reed fiber thong. All craftmanship is of the highest quality. It is encrusted with limestone, studded with adamantine and encircled with bands of clay and capybara leather. It is made from rope reed fiber cloth. This object menaces with spikes of pig tail fiber, violet spessartine and horse bone.
On the item is an image of Onol the Fiery Mountain, the deity of volcanos, fire and metals depicted as a male dwarf in rope reed fiber. Onol the Fiery Mountain is screaming.
On the item is an image of Boltpregnant the adamantine crossbow in zinc.


I can't blame Onol for screaming. What is worse, this fort has another artifact undergarment with an image of a different artifact adamantine crossbow  ::)

A thong depicting the deity of volcanoes and fire brings to mind the olden days, when lepers had to cry out "unclean! Unclean!" wherever they went.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Porpoisepower on May 11, 2013, 08:18:47 pm
Forgot to guard an unfinished wall that lead into the heart of my fortress.

3.. 2.. 1.. An Ambush! Damn them!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deathworks on May 12, 2013, 07:02:50 am
Hello!

There was a big face palm for me today when I noticed that trousers and loincloths were listed in the trading list much, much later than all the other clothes. All the time, I thought the traders didn't bring any, while I simply did not look in the right place (the goods surrounding them are of no interest for me at the moment) (T_T).

Yours,
Deathworks
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Graf Zeppelin on May 13, 2013, 06:56:44 pm
One of my hunters was naked except for a tiger leather quiver.......he was not even unhappy. >>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shoruke on May 13, 2013, 10:31:22 pm
I felt like starting a fortress in one of them fancy-shmancy evil biomes where it's also cold as Northern Canada. Which is to say, damn cold, and perpetually covered in snow.

The birds, I could deal with.
The skeletons too, natch.
Even the stuff from underground... olms, trolls, rutherers, etc. Forgotten Beasts with paralyzing extract? Set up a cordon, no further problems.

BUT THE RAIN. It wasn't even the actual effects of the rain. Oh noez, everyone outside gets briefly dizzy, whatever shall I do. Answer: ignore it like a boss.
No, I ended up abandoning that fort because I got sick and tired off the fact that the whole map looked like it was perpetually covered in urine. If the dizzy rain had been literally any other colour...  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on May 14, 2013, 05:48:45 am
I had tried an embark in an evilish savanna once. As soon as we arrived, it started to rain acrid muck and all pools dried out. The muck, like above, only caused a bit of dizziness, but being unfamiliar with evil biomes at the time, i quickly got sick of it and scrapped the fort. Then i embarked in a tundra/frozen ocean, with lots of minerals (apart from iron, of course) ...
and got some migrants. From the mucky savanna fort. That had carefully avoided washing on their travels and promptly brought some of the muck to the new fort. And since it's permanently frozen, dwarfs won't clean outside and contaminants are buggy and eternally spread, the stuff slowly spread, until after a few years, several hundred tiles of surface were piss-yellow. Building kennels and demolishing them helped keep the stuff out of the main area, but there was no getting rid of it, ever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: r4NGe on May 15, 2013, 04:47:39 pm
30 z dodge pit is a smashing success. Who knew if you add a butcher shop at the bottom, they mop up the corpse, chop it up and whip up some delicious pretzels, chips, and bruschetta from it. [Masterwork].
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AutomatedGoldfish on May 15, 2013, 08:33:44 pm
Hm, this isn't a major facepalm moment. When I started playing DF I had setup a nice enough looking area, about 2 hours in. So, after a while, I tried mining, I went to the mining designation and it wouldn't work. I though it was something wrong with the save, so I deleted my world entirely. It turns out that I was hitting space other than enter. . . . 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 3iff on May 16, 2013, 05:18:53 am
I was going to make a comment that in the 4 years of this new fortress I haven't had ANY dwarf attempts at making an artifact...but checking the wiki, I've probably turned artifacts OFF.

Actually, Artifacts were ON, so I went 4 years with no attempts at artifact building. I did only have 14 very busy dwarfs though. Once the numbers got bounced to 25 then strange moods started, two so far.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tinyheavyistiny on May 17, 2013, 04:30:42 pm
I didn't know about dumping objects so I thought that you had to dig out an area to store the stone in, so I was creating these massive underground stockpiles for stone. I felt so stupid when I learned how to dump things, now stone management is a breeze.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on May 17, 2013, 10:03:16 pm
Quote from: 3iff on May 16, 2013, 05:18:53 am
I was going to make a comment that in the 4 years of this new fortress I haven't had ANY dwarf attempts at making an artifact...but checking the wiki, I've probably turned artifacts OFF.

Actually, Artifacts were ON, so I went 4 years with no attempts at artifact building. I did only have 14 very busy dwarfs though. Once the numbers got bounced to 25 then strange moods started, two so far.

Dwarves do not produce artifacts until there are at least 20 dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Solon64 on May 20, 2013, 07:06:45 am
"Farmworker has been missing for a week!"

Mind you, I had two farmworkers, my fort is rather smallish at the moment (though I have big plans for it!), and no combat logs.  I searched the entire fort twice over, even looked in the river, no dice.  I then had a strange foul suspicion, so I went up a z-level and yup, there he is.  On top of a wall with no access to it, and he doesn't have wings either.  I imagine he dehydrated, which must have been doubly depressing since said wall was immediately adjacent to a stream full of nice, clear, refreshing water.

Serves the idiot right. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ieb on May 21, 2013, 03:05:20 pm
I'm mining a huge underground hollow where the only things in the end will be the tower structures my dorfs live and work in. I'm going to fill up the entire hollow in magma at the end, which my dorfs can admire behind the gem windows I plan to have everywhere.

So far, I've had 2 miners die during the ramp-digging. One legendary, another decent miner. Both died from walking on a tile that was then dug from below them, and they bumped their head, bruising the brain.

Damn it.

EDIT: Now up to 3 fucking idiots who fell over their beards and bashed their skulls open, splattering their brains all over the rock floor. Voidstone has also claimed 2 miners, and a vampire ate up another, so my previously 20-strong minerforce is slowly but surely being used up. At least there will be kids growing up in a few years so there's a workforce, should the project take that long to finish mining.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kilozombie on May 21, 2013, 06:25:22 pm
Somebody said earlier that blocks were more efficient for building, because they gave more.

Then somebody else called them out because it wasn't true. Double facepalm, right?

I just tested it and each rock gives 4 blocks in a Mason's Workshop.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrSparky on May 21, 2013, 07:14:26 pm
Quote from: kilozombie on May 21, 2013, 06:25:22 pm
Somebody said earlier that blocks were more efficient for building, because they gave more.

Then somebody else called them out because it wasn't true. Double facepalm, right?

I just tested it and each rock gives 4 blocks in a Mason's Workshop.

It's only true for rock blocks. Wood, metal, glass, and ceramics only give 1.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist MacNoob on May 22, 2013, 03:30:13 pm
Trying to build a watchtower when a wild groundhog scares your mason off of the wall.

Got to watch out for those groundhogs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kilozombie on May 22, 2013, 10:13:54 pm
Quote from: MrSparky on May 21, 2013, 07:14:26 pm
Quote from: kilozombie on May 21, 2013, 06:25:22 pm
Somebody said earlier that blocks were more efficient for building, because they gave more.

Then somebody else called them out because it wasn't true. Double facepalm, right?

I just tested it and each rock gives 4 blocks in a Mason's Workshop.

It's only true for rock blocks. Wood, metal, glass, and ceramics only give 1.

Oh, even.

...Damn. Well, then what's the point of making wood blocks? Lighter weight? I suppose you can store them in bins.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on May 22, 2013, 11:34:24 pm
It takes less time in ticks to build constructions with blocks than raw materials. This is good for situations like piercing aquifers using the double slit method, where there's constantly water flowing and potentially (and inevitably) causing cancellations.

The less time it takes to build a wood wall, the less cancellations, and the less the player has to unsuspend or redesignate the wall to be built, which makes piercing aquifers slightly less painful.

Otherwise I guess it's just for the satisfaction of knowing that every tile of that pure green glass tower megaproject you built is built from blocks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on May 23, 2013, 02:52:45 am
Blocks also look different in stonesense. (I think. Stones definitely, wood maybe)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: reality.auditor on May 23, 2013, 11:59:48 am
And blocks are more valuable than raw material.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Emma on May 23, 2013, 05:29:37 pm
I gave all my gold and silver to traders. :'( :'( :'(
Enough said
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on May 23, 2013, 07:41:26 pm
I tried to solidify magma by designating it as a pond zone to throw water in.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on May 24, 2013, 03:15:22 pm
You can solidify a tile of magma by pouring a bucketful of water on it, so long as the water travels through a full z-level on the way down. Nothing silly at all about the core concept (for a dwarf).

Quote from: Mr Space Cat on May 22, 2013, 11:34:24 pm
every tile of that pure green glass tower megaproject you built is built from blocks.
What other building material can you make from glass?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sirbug on May 25, 2013, 05:15:53 am
Once upon a time I decided to chain hostiles up and send my military dwarves to fight them, hoping that this would make them better soldiers.

Four recruits entered the stage and engaged chained goblin thief. They all lost their sword hands. Also I tried to dispose of caged werebeast through the same fight (I feared as it was a dwarf in natural form, I may cause loyalty cascade). One of my soldiers lost both hands. But that wasn't the faceplam part. Heavy bleeding he got stuck in unsolvable conundrum: on one hand, he's covered in filth and blood. On other, he doesn't have hands to carry soap to the well. So he kept circling around bar of soap, with task "Clean self" until he bled to death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StLeibowitz on May 25, 2013, 09:29:35 am
I got a glorious wave of skilled metalcrafters and peasants with great ability in swordsdwarfing. They would have done great things at Crowcaverns...had they arrived at any time other than in the middle of an elf ambush. Their destinies then were shortened from "legends of history" to "pincushions".

None of them even managed to beat my horse in total self-defense kills, either :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: OhGodSpidersNo on May 25, 2013, 02:51:11 pm
Rejoicing when a dwarven caravan filled to the brim with food and alcohol arrives to your starving fortress right on the eve of a tantrum spiral, then bungling the deal because you got greedy with the profit margin.

I made a good roleplay decision to seal the caravan in, and set my entire fortress upon them in a desperate bid for survival. They were all slaughtered by the caravan guard.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on May 25, 2013, 04:44:43 pm
Quote from: OhGodSpidersNo on May 25, 2013, 02:51:11 pm
Rejoicing when a dwarven caravan filled to the brim with food and alcohol arrives to your starving fortress right on the eve of a tantrum spiral, then bungling the deal because you got greedy with the profit margin.

I made a good roleplay decision to seal the caravan in, and set my entire fortress upon them in a desperate bid for survival. They were all slaughtered by the caravan guard.

Next time, build a device to kill caravans without risk of retaliation or loyalty cascade. For example, drop the ceiling on them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on May 25, 2013, 06:04:02 pm
Or a drowning chamber. Multiple uses with a drowning chamber.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on May 25, 2013, 06:58:40 pm
BTW, what to do with prisoners of war? Using them as practice for militia can go horribly wrong horribly quickly, as gobbos seem to all have high wresting and dodging skills. I've got a volcano I can (and have) pit them into, but that seems a bit of a waste.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on May 25, 2013, 07:08:41 pm
Marksdwarves. Have a bridge that breaks los  when you aren't using it though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on May 25, 2013, 07:15:25 pm
Wouldn't an archery range be more efficient? With that, I could have practice even when there are no prisoners. Unless there's a way to make sure the prisoner never dies.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on May 25, 2013, 07:26:15 pm
In my experience dwarves neglect archery ranges. They can't ignore the naked goblin chained up down the hallway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on May 25, 2013, 07:29:45 pm
Naked chained goblin in the middle of the hallway would strangle passing citizens, though. And I'm not of the opinion that the goal of this game is to kill all dwarves except the blacksmiths.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on May 25, 2013, 08:47:30 pm
Probably should have clarified: There is a room you place your marksdwarves in, a lever is pull and a bridge lowers so that the marksdwarves can see the chained goblins at the end of a sealed hallway or room. They will keep shooting until you raise the bridge. Make sure to put fortifications in between them so they don't close into melee should there be an equipment stuff up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on May 25, 2013, 08:49:22 pm
How would I make sure they reload from stockpiles instead of just staring at it?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on May 25, 2013, 08:51:14 pm
I found the wiki article on it. it's a little way down.
http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2012:Military_design
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kazimuth on May 26, 2013, 10:19:36 am
Some fisherdwarves come with my first migrant wave. I actually have a river for once, I'll put them to work!

Two seasons later, I notice a portion of my river covered in flies, right where my fisherdwarves are working. Curious, I examine one of them; he's standing on a stack of mussels. I realize I have no fishery / unprepared fish stockpile, so the fisherdwaves have nowhere to put their catch- they've just been standing there, for two seasons, grabbing mussels from the river and dropping them where they stand.

Most efficient use of dwarfpower ever   :-\


at least they're good at swimming now
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: foil on May 26, 2013, 11:04:21 am
When started playing, discovering Plots could be bigger than 1x1.  Rage quit for a couple o months after that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BodyGripper on May 26, 2013, 01:25:31 pm
I think this qualifies.  I had an adept speardwarf named Cog Quakesword.  Naturally, due to her name, I wanted her to be a swordsdwarf.  So, I assigned her to carry a sword as well as a spear, but she almost never uses the sword and is not very skilled in it.

Today, a minotaur showed up.  Since Cog was first in line to fight it, I thought "Hey, what a great chance to practice with that sword!", and forbade the spear.  Cog now has two broken limbs and half her teeth are missing.  I bet she would've speared him right in the brain if I'd let her.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: usgreth on May 26, 2013, 04:02:30 pm
I have an apprenticeship scheme in my vastly overpopulated fort, I try to make as many dorfs with armoursmith/weaponsmith mooding skills as possible. The weaponsmiths that have mooded have all made candy weapons!
Crossbow/Crossbow/Mace  ::)
There is one artifact candy axe..Aned Ethes, The sport of glistening: A raw candy toy axe *weeps*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JTTCOTE1 on May 26, 2013, 08:09:25 pm
Okay, 35 children out of 95 dwarves, something's gotta be done.
*Constructs my traditional child-atom-smashing device, a door, lever, bridge and constructed wall*
Great, let's start dealing with this child problem!
*Blah, Dwarven Child has entered a fey mood!*
Oh great, he's 11, he'll be useful soon!
*Blah has claimed a craftsdwarf workshop*
Meh, back to atom-smashing children.
*Blah has created geusljnolvdja, a wooden bracelet*
Sweet, legendary woodcrafter for bolts.
Back to child atom smashing....

Oh hey, why was that one I just smashed flashing?

*Facedesk*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ultimuh on May 27, 2013, 03:34:17 am
Quote from: JTTCOTE1 on May 26, 2013, 08:09:25 pm
Okay, 35 children out of 95 dwarves, something's gotta be done.
*Constructs my traditional child-atom-smashing device, a door, lever, bridge and constructed wall*
Great, let's start dealing with this child problem!
*Blah, Dwarven Child has entered a fey mood!*
Oh great, he's 11, he'll be useful soon!
*Blah has claimed a craftsdwarf workshop*
Meh, back to atom-smashing children.
*Blah has created geusljnolvdja, a wooden bracelet*
Sweet, legendary woodcrafter for bolts.
Back to child atom smashing....

Oh hey, why was that one I just smashed flashing?

*Facedesk*
One of the reasons I don't atom-smash dorfs. :p
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ionizer on May 27, 2013, 03:42:53 am
Preface: I have an obsession/sordid history with wells.  About half of my fortress failures can be traced, directly or indirectly, to some problem with a well.

Most recently, I miscalculated how fast the well would fill after the cistern was full (it was a multi-well, with one shaft feeding both the hospital well and the lower drinking well in the dining room).  I had precautions in place (floodgate from the river, and both well rooms had doors preventing watery death to the rest of the fort and the access shaft was tightly sealed on every level with floor hatches).  I wanted the cistern to be completely full, and the shaft to be as full as possible, so the higher hospital well didn't take forever to get a bucket down into the water.  It turns out the lower well was only 2 z levels above the cistern.  Well, after the cistern was full, it didn't take too long for the 2-4 tiles of open space to fill with water, and adding the delay from level pull to floodgate closing, the lower well overflowed, leaving me with a well room flooded to 3/7.  Not too bad, I'd just remove the door retaining the water, letting it wash over the main dining room floor, eventually leaving nothing but some mud that would be cleaned. 

Facepalm moment:  While the door was being deconstructed to begin the "Great Seeping," one industrious dorf waltzed into the well room, likely slurred something along of the lines of "I'll fixst it!" and dove into the well, promptly sinking to the bottom and drowning, contaminating the entire cistern.  The next couple months consisted of me trying to build a new cistern under the old one to drain the contaminated water into before refilling the original cistern with clean water.  I successfully drained the cistern (but the dorf's body mysteriously disappeared, it may have been flushed somewhere I didn't check) and was working on sealing the contaminated cistern when a cyclops appeared and slaughtered my entire (sorely under-equipped and untrained) military before suffocating from a fatal case of "Bone Lung" (read: multiple bone crossbow bolts puncturing its lungs).  At this point, a goblin siege wiped out the rest of my dorfs and thus the fortress of Pastwounds fell.  If I hadn't had to focus on fixing the contaminated well, I might have been able to train my military better (I had a danger room close to completion, but wanted a functional hospital, with well, before commencing the training.)

Other well-related mishaps from other forts include failing to irrigate a farm in time (the irrigation system drained into a cistern to feed a well, building the entire thing at once took too long), leading to starvation; reclaiming that fort and failing to irrigate a second time, but dying of thirst this time because the river froze; reclaiming the fort a third time and actually irrigating this time, but an oversight in floodgate construction (what? water flows upwards over floodgates?) led to flooding the lower half of the fort, including food and booze supplies, as well as drowning several dorfs asleep in their beds.  Paintdrink (really... I wonder why it failed?) was deemed un-salvageable (and very, very haunted) after that.

In a separate fort, I accidentally designed a system to flush any invaders back into the caverns, if they didn't get too far into the fort.  I say accidentally, because after looking at the layout for a while, I realized that by flooding the well, water should cascade down the stairs, missing anything important, and ultimately washing things into the caverns, never to be seen again.  While it would have worked as stated, in practice it took too long because apparently the water needed to flood every other mineshaft before hitting the shaft(s) that actually led to the caverns.  Of course, by time I noticed this, the water had been flowing for a while and a giant glass elephant that spewed paralyzing, necrotic dust everywhere was rampaging through my fort, not allowing anyone to close the extraneous mineshafts to expedite Operation: Toilet.  Water finally hit the cavern about the same time the fricking elephant walked past the point where it could be flushed and killed the last dorfs in the fort.

My very first fort fell when a tantrumming dorf tossed the lever to the well's floodgate, drowning a child and a cat, leading to a tantrum spiral that killed everyone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on May 28, 2013, 02:35:27 am
Always, always, always build a draining system into one's water supply =)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: downstroy on May 29, 2013, 03:24:08 am
I was building a well for my hospital, it was very far from the river. So I made a cistern by closing the underground tunnels I had created to seek for ores. I made a one tile large branch on the river, and start flooding the tunnels.

I saw that I had forgot to wall an access that lead to stairs, ultimately flooding 3 Z-levels of mined ore/stone, leading me to experience what is called Special dwarf time relativity.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on May 29, 2013, 04:07:57 pm
I just got visited by an elf caravan. Their lead trader was named "Arile." Just one letter off...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on May 29, 2013, 05:05:03 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on May 29, 2013, 04:07:57 pm
I just got visited by an elf caravan. Their lead trader was named "Arile." Just one letter off...

Abile? Qrile? Arise? I'm not getting it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on May 29, 2013, 05:23:38 pm
Arille.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Baccar Wozat on May 29, 2013, 06:21:17 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on May 29, 2013, 05:23:38 pm
Arille.
I thought you meant Arale from Dr. Slump.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: terko on May 30, 2013, 05:53:47 am
Arille? Still not getting it, sorry. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on May 30, 2013, 10:03:21 am
Google is giving me this as a high result for "Arille": http://www.wowwiki.com/Arille_Azuregaze
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on May 30, 2013, 03:37:53 pm
Try with "tradehouse"

Anyway, had another one. I ordered tons of steel anvils from the caravan (map only has copper and silver), thinking I could melt them for 3 bars each. Nope.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sulacsol on May 30, 2013, 06:15:14 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on May 29, 2013, 05:23:38 pm
Arille.

You n'wah!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Loam on May 31, 2013, 07:31:32 pm
Went to put newly-made doors on a suite of rooms.

Found out I have 14 raw adamantine doors.

Remembered I had unrestricted the stuff out of necessity, and never re-restricted it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on May 31, 2013, 07:48:40 pm
I got a door artifact that I planepacked and left alone for a while.
Eighty seven images of itself in raw adamantine.
Two hundred and three images of itself in adamantine.
And that's not counting other fancy things, like the alpaca wool spikes
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on June 01, 2013, 06:57:05 am
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on May 31, 2013, 07:48:40 pm
I got a door artifact that I planepacked and left alone for a while.
Eighty seven images of itself in raw adamantine.
Two hundred and three images of itself in adamantine.
And that's not counting other fancy things, like the alpaca wool spikes

Can you tell us the price? Candy decorations should be worth 300K(raw) and 360K(processed) each. This item is a serious contender for the Most Valuable Item Ever record.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: daddysds1 on June 01, 2013, 11:59:37 am
Finding out How "fun" 1 necro and a zombie can be. Ended up with 81 Undead dwarves and live stock along with the undead wild elephats fun ... Needless to say that only lasted about 10 mins after that
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrSparky on June 01, 2013, 12:24:49 pm
Quote from: Loam on May 31, 2013, 07:31:32 pm
Went to put newly-made doors on a suite of rooms.

Found out I have 14 raw adamantine doors.

Remembered I had unrestricted the stuff out of necessity, and never re-restricted it.
THE DECADENCE!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: VerdantSF on June 01, 2013, 12:56:48 pm
Quote from: MrSparky on June 01, 2013, 12:24:49 pm
Quote from: Loam on May 31, 2013, 07:31:32 pm
Went to put newly-made doors on a suite of rooms.

Found out I have 14 raw adamantine doors.

Remembered I had unrestricted the stuff out of necessity, and never re-restricted it.
THE DECADENCE!
Oh man...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on June 01, 2013, 04:54:34 pm
If only they were artifact doors...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on June 01, 2013, 08:20:11 pm
Here's one I did a month or two ago.

Set up a new hospital near the entrance of the fort and stocked it.  My dorfs kept going outside for water, so I figured I'd dig a small reservoir by the hospital and link it to the river via a pump station and some fortifications.  Since dorfs always complain about wells, I figured I'd drill it down through a few levels and create a well system that both the hospital and dining room could utilize.  Got it set up to be a nice size reservoir, adding some fail-safes to keep dorfs from ending up in the reservoir and contaminating it.  Added a pressure plate to make sure the reservoir would only fill up so far and then stop the pump.  Added a side drain down to the caverns if I ever needed to flush the system.

Turned it on and moved to check out a different project while it filled.  A few minutes later the first dwarf drowns followed by a few others.

As it turns out, I wasn't paying attention when I was building the cistern.  I'd channeled out the cistern but didn't stop high enough.  Basically the whole thing was just a water express-way to my residential complex, which it happily flooded.

By the time I got somebody up there to pull the lever, it had started flooding my lower crafting stations.

That's the fort where I learned to build your main stair down to the caverns and then grate or fortify the bottom of it for drainage instead of just walling it off.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Exitstrategy on June 03, 2013, 09:49:24 pm
Facepalmed the serious overkill of a goblin ambush leader.

Urist McAxedwarf charges the leader and gets killed by Goblin Prime. Militia Commander sees his comrade fall and flies into a rage, chasing Goblin Prime across the map. Upon catching up to the goblin, Urist McLeader slices off the goblin's right hand. Then his left... Then both the goblin's feet. After making sure the goblin can't defend or run, Urist Mcleader proceeds to stab the goblin leader repeatedly until, after several combat pages, the Goblin leader bleeds to death.

Needless to say, Urist McLeader is getting promoted soon.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on June 03, 2013, 11:27:45 pm
Quote from: Larix on June 01, 2013, 06:57:05 am
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on May 31, 2013, 07:48:40 pm
I got a door artifact that I planepacked and left alone for a while.
Eighty seven images of itself in raw adamantine.
Two hundred and three images of itself in adamantine.
And that's not counting other fancy things, like the alpaca wool spikes

Can you tell us the price? Candy decorations should be worth 300K(raw) and 360K(processed) each. This item is a serious contender for the Most Valuable Item Ever record.
I don't remember the price, and that world is long gone ;_; But it was upwards of... millions. Millions of millions.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on June 04, 2013, 05:08:20 pm
Wondered why I hadn't gotten an ambush in a while, then I checked the merchant road I'd set up at the end of the entrance crater. Dozens of pureed goblins on the traps.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Elephant Parade on June 04, 2013, 11:39:18 pm
A cave crocodile once managed to kill SIX of my underground plant gatherers. I only figured it out because I saw a named crocodile in the Units menu.
FEAR THE CROCODILE!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Talikmon on June 05, 2013, 02:55:53 am
Oh god.... last night.  Built a cat genocide machine (technically just one passage in my fort all spike trapped for keeping the pop down). 

Anyway my 4th hammerer arrived and, like before, I activated the main entrance spike traps to take care of him.  Unfortunately I put the wrong lever on repeat - the cat genocide machine.  Since I hadn't actually intended on using it I hadn't locked the doors at either end. 

To add insult to injury, I went off to make myself a cuppa while this was happening.  When I got back and discovered what I had done, it was after about 20 dorfs were already in bed due to a rare case of 'basketball sized perforations'.   Dammit...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Till on June 05, 2013, 06:20:36 am
I just build an ingenious track system, which gets stones from the mining area and throws them into a chute above my central stone stockpile. From there they were carried to the workshops, where they are needed. It was not until a great amount of stones were used until I realised, that frequently dropping stones on your workers is not a good idea.
Now I need more stones for coffins.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chuggz on June 05, 2013, 11:42:26 am
Quote from: Till on June 05, 2013, 06:20:36 am
I just build an ingenious track system, which gets stones from the mining area and throws them into a chute above my central stone stockpile. From there they were carried to the workshops, where they are needed. It was not until a great amount of stones were used until I realised, that frequently dropping stones on your workers is not a good idea.
Now I need more stones for coffins.
I had something very similar, except what I did was have a large stockpile area above the workshops, then used mini minecart dumping tracks to drop stones and materials into various workshops, so if I wanted, say, a set of marble furniture, I'd just have to queue up the orders at the workshop that was getting marble dropped in it. It actually worked fine, until I spontaneously dropped three loads onto my three best masons. Had to rework the tracks to actually travel down and dump horizontally instead of just through a shaft...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: henkalv on June 05, 2013, 01:45:55 pm
A kid in my fort just got a mood and made a bracelet out of raw adamantine

words cannot express the rage I felt
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lawlcat on June 06, 2013, 07:34:45 am
Apparently if I'm going to use a bridge as a door to defend against hostiles coming up from my mines...

... I should probably make sure it's hooked up to the lever. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on June 06, 2013, 09:05:19 am
Built a drop-shaft to get surface ores (and goblinite) down to the magmaforge level. Simple idea: Lock the landing area, dump stuff onto trapdoor (retracting bridge), drop it, unlock landing area and have dorfs pick the stuff up down there.

Yeah, I'm sure most of you already know what happened.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Azerax on June 06, 2013, 11:59:25 am
Digging down to the magma sea, finding adamantite.  SWEET

Odd, why does it look like there's an elavator shaft.. oh well, must gets the adamantites...

Dorfs discover a glowing purple cavern.  RETRO SWEET!

Horrifying screams come from the depths.  Hmmm

118 flying fireball throwing/poison spitting/ice pooping demons swarm from the bowels of hell.

Fun ensued.  Did not have any way to cut off access from below.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Solon64 on June 06, 2013, 02:43:24 pm
Quote from: Azerax on June 06, 2013, 11:59:25 am
Digging down to the magma sea, finding adamantite.  SWEET

Odd, why does it look like there's an elavator shaft.. oh well, must gets the adamantites...

Dorfs discover a glowing purple cavern.  RETRO SWEET!

Horrifying screams come from the depths.  Hmmm

118 flying fireball throwing/poison spitting/ice pooping demons swarm from the bowels of hell.

Fun ensued.  Did not have any way to cut off access from below.

Heh. I still remember my first time popping the circus open. FUN indeed. We've all been there, haha
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: anzelm on June 06, 2013, 03:39:17 pm
Quote from: Azerax on June 06, 2013, 11:59:25 am
ice pooping demons
Ouch.

Just built a multi-level air farm, only to discovered that windmills don't work when covered by a floor from above.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: orodoth on June 06, 2013, 07:27:59 pm
after 5 or 6 forts lost to the fun of being a noob, realizing there was an option to smooth stone, instead of digging out rooms and hallways larger than they were meant to be, just so my grumbling mason-dwarves could come build walls...under ground...in 100% stone.

The other was digging a super sweet granite base about 5 z-levels down, and having a series of channels built for multiple wells, and even an underground fishing area made with stone piers carved out. The design was simple, dig all my paths, tunnels, and ramps that would enable the flow of water, double check my layout, channel out the last 2 blocks of loamy sand next to the creek...yeah, the thing about water and dwarven physics, is the air pressure of a room 7 z-levels below a stream, wont equalize how much water can enter said room.. the water instead flows up an infinite number of z-levels, and comes to stop once it reaches the height of its starting z-level, or runs out..it wasn't gonna run out... I flooded 7 layers worth of fort, on a world map with ZERO aquifers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: filipmolnar on June 07, 2013, 06:50:14 am
Quote from: orodoth on June 06, 2013, 07:27:59 pm
after 5 or 6 forts lost to the fun of being a noob, realizing there was an option to smooth stone, instead of digging out rooms and hallways larger than they were meant to be, just so my grumbling mason-dwarves could come build walls...under ground...in 100% stone.

The other was digging a super sweet granite base about 5 z-levels down, and having a series of channels built for multiple wells, and even an underground fishing area made with stone piers carved out. The design was simple, dig all my paths, tunnels, and ramps that would enable the flow of water, double check my layout, channel out the last 2 blocks of loamy sand next to the creek...yeah, the thing about water and dwarven physics, is the air pressure of a room 7 z-levels below a stream, wont equalize how much water can enter said room.. the water instead flows up an infinite number of z-levels, and comes to stop once it reaches the height of its starting z-level, or runs out..it wasn't gonna run out... I flooded 7 layers worth of fort, on a world map with ZERO aquifers.

You could still make rescue this. If water freezes on your map you could stop water from flowing in when winter comes, then pump the water out. If there is no freeze, then depending on layout you can cave in a part of the fort to seal the water, then pump.

Or you could divert the stream, by building a few pumps that pump water into channels, that divert the water off screen, draining the stream temporarily, wall in the secion of the inflow and once again, pump water out of the fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aquathug on June 07, 2013, 08:40:45 am
Opened up the circus and murdered some clowns.
Military was fine.
They got topside and started training.
Miasma started eminating from everyone in the military. Everyone. EVERYONE.
The entire fort went crazy because the clowns made my soldiers SHIT THEIR PANTS AND THEY WOULDNT WIPE.
Tantrum spirals abounded and dwarf doo was smeared on the walls.

The facepalm part of this story was that the save was deleted. I hate everything.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: matskuman5 on June 07, 2013, 11:43:02 am
What mod makes dwarves poop?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aquathug on June 07, 2013, 03:04:08 pm
Quote from: matskuman5 on June 07, 2013, 11:43:02 am
What mod makes dwarves poop?

Wasn't a mod that did it, I was using vanilla at the time. I think it was a syndrome that made them spew miasma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 11sparky11 on June 08, 2013, 09:47:35 am
Quote from: Azerax on June 06, 2013, 11:59:25 am
Digging down to the magma sea, finding adamantite.  SWEET

Odd, why does it look like there's an elavator shaft.. oh well, must gets the adamantites...

Dorfs discover a glowing purple cavern.  RETRO SWEET!

Horrifying screams come from the depths.  Hmmm

118 flying fireball throwing/poison spitting/ice pooping demons swarm from the bowels of hell.

Fun ensued.  Did not have any way to cut off access from below.

That happened to me on the my second fortress, I was like, hmm maybe there's even more adamantite in this little area! Turns out it opens up hell. Also, my first time on this particular forum, seems like a nice fun community, I have only done 2 fortresses, on my third atm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 11sparky11 on June 08, 2013, 04:09:22 pm
Well I just had a super derp. My DF crashed after like 2 hours of straight playing, I then restarted just in case of some miracle it autosaved somehow (I was kidding my myself). When I realised there was no way of retrieving the data, I entered a tantrum and accidentally abandoned the fortress. I'm still really fucking pissed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on June 08, 2013, 05:07:14 pm
Quote from: 11sparky11 on June 08, 2013, 04:09:22 pm
Well I just had a super derp. My DF crashed after like 2 hours of straight playing, I then restarted just in case of some miracle it autosaved somehow (I was kidding my myself). When I realised there was no way of retrieving the data, I entered a tantrum and accidentally abandoned the fortress. I'm still really fucking pissed.
You can set the game to autosave per season, check the wiki on how to edit the d_init.txt file. (http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/Technical_tricks#Save_Behavior) The wiki is a pretty nifty place.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 11sparky11 on June 09, 2013, 04:03:31 am
Quote from: Mr Space Cat on June 08, 2013, 05:07:14 pm
Quote from: 11sparky11 on June 08, 2013, 04:09:22 pm
Well I just had a super derp. My DF crashed after like 2 hours of straight playing, I then restarted just in case of some miracle it autosaved somehow (I was kidding my myself). When I realised there was no way of retrieving the data, I entered a tantrum and accidentally abandoned the fortress. I'm still really fucking pissed.
You can set the game to autosave per season, check the wiki on how to edit the d_init.txt file. (http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/Technical_tricks#Save_Behavior) The wiki is a pretty nifty place.

It already does, (LNP? idk), but I had still lost a whole seasons worth of toil, it was only a few days from autosaving again.

EDIT: It was only autosaving yearly. Damn. Oh well, i'll just have to go through all the work again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Matoro on June 09, 2013, 04:13:35 am
My expedition leader-miner was digging down giant chute to drop hematite ore from the mines to the magma furnaces. I really don't know what happened, but next thing I saw was miner's mutilated corpse in the end of the shaft. And blood. And miner's limbs had all got separated from the body. All of them.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on June 09, 2013, 02:10:10 pm
Yeah, fall damage tends to make things explode. Some people have built elaborate tower/shaft combinations to drop captured goblins as many z-levels as possible before they go splat, as sacrifices to Armok...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ieb on June 11, 2013, 07:06:49 am
Today, a fortress of 23 years falls. The 50 strong military(30 melee, 20 ranged) proved to be inadequate in suppressing the 100 strong force of goblins and their beasts of war. The shooty gobbos and their steeds went straight past the military, the few civilians who ran in the depot(and decided best direction to escape was straight at the goblins(also sparking the first fire of a tantrum spiral)), and then the gobbos went and smashed quite a few of the gem windows I had placed in the tunnels connecting the towers that make the fort.

Did I mention I have the whole thing surrounded by magma, and those glass windows are the only thing keeping it at bay? Right now out of 208, 156 dorfs are alive. Most of them now flipping their shit, getting trapped by magma and so on.

Once things calm down, I'll see if I can salvage at least a few of these jerks. At least in the future, I know that 100 military dorfs isn't too much.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheDarkStar on June 11, 2013, 02:05:39 pm
I was mining a huge mineshaft, including channeling out large areas. Suddenly, when almost all my miners are there (and I'd already lost a few from falling), the entire thing caved in. I realized that I forgot to build supports between layers.

Cue two dwarves dying because their brain is destroyed from impact, and two more hitting the ground and blowing apart.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Matoro on June 12, 2013, 02:36:41 am
I was building ~70 z-levels high pump stack. Everything is fine, I've consturcted pumps and water reactors and things like that.

Then I notice that I forgot to dig that one channel under the pumps -> the pumps aren't connected to each other -> fuck this -> order dwarves to remove every pump and miners dig the channels.

Well, after this had succesfully done and I tried to start the stack, I noticed that my four water reactors didn't produce enough power.

...

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on June 12, 2013, 06:29:44 am
After a fair bit of rigorous minecart testing, i had my first minecart-related death (of a dwarf, the cats catching a faceful of -trifle pewter minecart- are population control). It wasn't one of the brave dwarfmonauts riding carts over ramps - and some of these flights failed spectacularly, one even with a dwarf getting thrown about thirty tiles, but getting away with two broken legs. It wasn't even an accident in one of the spectacularly poorly-secured minecart cannon concept test rigs. It was a harmless stonecrafter deciding she needed to put a kaolinite boulder in a stockpile. A boulder on a track i had built for a simple test of properties of ramps and which i'd never switched off because it worked so nicely. Well, she cancelled her hauling task because of 'unsafe terrain', which is dwarven for 'oops, i just gone got myself killified': the terrain was unexpectedly (?!) full of speeding minecart, which bumped into her from behind and threw her head-first into the nearest wall. At least it was a proper smashed skull death and not one of the awful deaths through whiplash/light concussion dwarfs so often suffer when something so much as lightly knocks on their heads. And she got a nice slab and a fine pewter statue in her burial chamber.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Extreme Boyheat on June 12, 2013, 07:00:25 pm
Setting my barracks close to the entrance of the fort, while mining candy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iton Ibrukrithzam on June 14, 2013, 04:18:19 am
No, right, mason, I get that.  That makes sense.  Of course you'd stand in your own way when trying to build a wall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mortis on June 14, 2013, 05:23:36 am
I just spent about an hour and a half starting a new fort, designating all the bedrooms and setting up basic industries, all on this great site that had a 27 z-level canyon with multiple waterfalls and flux stone to boot. And then I did the stupidest thing I've ever done- I attempted to mod the raws while the game was still running. Cue crash-to-desktop after about a minute of intense relief as it seemed to work. Lost all my progress and the site. There is now quite a large dent in my desk.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: anzelm on June 14, 2013, 05:44:31 am
That's a facedesk, not a facepalm.

I forgot about a minecart shotgun I set up and shortly had my entire workforce reload  and fire it in a loop. On the bright side, only 4 dwarves suffered injuries.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Boltgun on June 15, 2013, 11:59:01 am
Not much of a facepalm but...

I have a citizen who got her hands eaten by a cave crocodile. She lived of a couple years poping the occasional "cancel task, too wounded" message. But now I just saw her running back and forth, bumping in a corner of the bar stockpile. I first thought it was a return of the initial hauling bugs that caused dwarves to run in circles but no, that was my hand less cripple.

In the corner there is a bar of soap, she kept running back trying to grab it to clean herself but is just unable too. I laughed, then I felt bad.

Edit : After 20 tries of so she gave up and went for a drink, her life kind of suck.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 11sparky11 on June 15, 2013, 01:43:32 pm
Quote from: Boltgun on June 15, 2013, 11:59:01 am
Not much of a facepalm but...

I have a citizen who got her hands eaten by a cave crocodile. She lived of a couple years poping the occasional "cancel task, too wounded" message. But now I just saw her running back and forth, bumping in a corner of the bar stockpile. I first thought it was a return of the initial hauling bugs that caused dwarves to run in circles but no, that was my hand less cripple.

In the corner there is a bar of soap, she kept running back trying to grab it to clean herself but is just unable too. I laughed, then I felt bad.

Edit : After 20 tries of so she gave up and went for a drink, her life kind of suck.

Urist McDoctor should have done an Azog jobbie on her.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrSparky on June 15, 2013, 05:40:05 pm
Quote from: Boltgun on June 15, 2013, 11:59:01 am
Not much of a facepalm but...

I have a citizen who got her hands eaten by a cave crocodile. She lived of a couple years poping the occasional "cancel task, too wounded" message. But now I just saw her running back and forth, bumping in a corner of the bar stockpile. I first thought it was a return of the initial hauling bugs that caused dwarves to run in circles but no, that was my hand less cripple.

In the corner there is a bar of soap, she kept running back trying to grab it to clean herself but is just unable too. I laughed, then I felt bad.

Edit : After 20 tries of so she gave up and went for a drink, her life kind of suck.
She'll be back, I once had a quadriplegic dwarf who spent the vast majority of her time doing the same thing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Boltgun on June 16, 2013, 02:30:13 pm
Quote from: MrSparky on June 15, 2013, 05:40:05 pm
She'll be back, I once had a quadriplegic dwarf who spent the vast majority of her time doing the same thing.

Yep, she is bumping again in the stockpile's corner. Not that there is much else to do, besides attending parties and being elected mayor. I wish I could attach hooks on her arms, that will go with her fear of crocodiles.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on June 16, 2013, 02:42:26 pm
Maybe Toady One should implement, in addition to crutches, hooks? I guess it would be a bit of work designating all the jobs suitable for Urist McTwoHooks though: Urist McTwoHooks cancels clean self - self induced injury. Urist McTwoHooks has given in to pain.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hellmoob on June 17, 2013, 08:35:19 am
A giant Kea broke one of my macedwarves' wrists, so naturally she went to lie down in the Hospital. Fair 'nuff.

I watched for a little while for one of my three(!) Great+ doctors to come up and treat her. And I watched. And watched. "Maybe I assigned them the wrong burrow," I naively thought. No - as it turns out one of them was attending a party, one of them was "On Break" in spite of never having done literally any work, and the third one had decided to have a nap that turned into a kind of hibernation.

In the end I roped in some bright young carpenter (hey, he works with saws, that's almost surgery) and he did the whole thing in about five minutes - diagnosis, suturing, bone setting, wound dressing... Zero skill in all of them, but he wasn't going to be deterred by a little thing like his own deadly incompetence. The medical system's stupid, man.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: squidgen on June 18, 2013, 02:13:32 pm
When my entire fortress ground to a halt because of one undead ox ear hair. ONE FREAKING HAIR!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: fricy on June 18, 2013, 02:44:11 pm
Quote from: squidgen on June 18, 2013, 02:13:32 pm
When my entire fortress ground to a halt because of one undead ox ear hair. ONE FREAKING HAIR!

One VERY BIG Ox hair.

As far as I know undead body parts get their body stats from the living creature. So an undead ox hair should be the same size as the ox.
Welcome to Dwarf Fortress, where everything is quantum. :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on June 18, 2013, 03:23:18 pm
It's not a single hair.

It's the entirety of all the ox's hair.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McKoga on June 18, 2013, 07:45:41 pm
Quote from: squidgen on June 18, 2013, 02:13:32 pm
When my entire fortress ground to a halt because of one undead ox ear hair. ONE FREAKING HAIR!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Sorry, but i have only dabbling skills.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
This is possible? Not the part of getting skills (and becoming a swordhair).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: orodoth on June 18, 2013, 08:26:51 pm
Quote from: Urist McKoga on June 18, 2013, 07:45:41 pm
Quote from: squidgen on June 18, 2013, 02:13:32 pm
When my entire fortress ground to a halt because of one undead ox ear hair. ONE FREAKING HAIR!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Sorry, but i have only dabbling skills.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
This is possible? Not the part of getting skills (and becoming a swordhair).

Man that made my day :D (and believe me, it was a bad one. coming back from vacation only to walk into a s4!t storm at work...yeesh) Thanks
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McKoga on June 18, 2013, 08:56:28 pm
Thanks man! This comment made my night. My first attempt to draw something (first posted at least).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: -Firestar- on June 19, 2013, 05:30:34 pm
Built well. Watched all the water run through the pipes. Figured it would take a while to fill up.

Went off to build some new workshops, set new mining tasks. Came back to a flooded dining hall because I forgot to go check it again and close the floodgate when it got full. Well, there went 5 hours of trying to buid this stupid well....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: fricy on June 19, 2013, 06:08:24 pm
Ladies and Gentleman, may I present to you the race of the night:

Racer No1: Urist McPlanter who is running to pick up a minecart that stopped on an unpowered roller.
Racer No2: Urist Mchanic who is running to pull the main power lever.

And, yeah, of course it's a draw. I didn't know there is such a thing as "not enough traction bench".  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pakkanen on June 20, 2013, 11:22:14 am
This was strange enough to slap it together in paint.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Afterwards he started haunting the food stockpiles.

He had food all around him. I think he was even sitting on some food...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on June 20, 2013, 11:26:27 am
Quote from: Pakkanen on June 20, 2013, 11:22:14 am
This was strange enough to slap it together in paint.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Afterwards he started haunting the food stockpiles.

He had food all around him. I think he was even sitting on some food...

This is easily averted if:
> You've got dwarves who have the labor of giving food/water in health care on, and are not doing ANY OTHER LABOR at the moment.

Poor guy :/
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pakkanen on June 20, 2013, 06:41:36 pm
Quote from: Tiruin on June 20, 2013, 11:26:27 am
Quote from: Pakkanen on June 20, 2013, 11:22:14 am
This was strange enough to slap it together in paint.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Afterwards he started haunting the food stockpiles.

He had food all around him. I think he was even sitting on some food...

This is easily averted if:
> You've got dwarves who have the labor of giving food/water in health care on, and are not doing ANY OTHER LABOR at the moment.

Poor guy :/

I had a tantrum spiral going on because of that berserk farmer so I guess no dwarf was interested in the miner.

Without a craftsdwarf to engrave a slab the ghost of that miner started battering every dwarf in the corridors, furthering the spiral and driving me insane.
...
You have abandoned your settlement.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mortis on June 22, 2013, 03:21:11 am
An engraving of a dead dwarf murdered by a beserk woodcutter was called "the sick stunt"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on June 22, 2013, 02:01:36 pm
Quote from: Mortis on June 22, 2013, 03:21:11 am
An engraving of a dead dwarf murdered by a beserk woodcutter was called "the sick stunt"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Seriously, that's awesome.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WanderingKid on June 22, 2013, 11:08:04 pm
Using a river as one of the 'walls' to my fort...

In a freezing water biome.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on June 23, 2013, 03:45:05 pm
What got in?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrSparky on June 23, 2013, 05:59:37 pm
The river.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: skyte100 on June 23, 2013, 09:09:51 pm
All I can think of is when I saw a weapons bin on my Mace dwarfs bed. Red flag anyone?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on June 24, 2013, 02:32:38 am
Well, is your macedwarf married?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: skyte100 on June 24, 2013, 06:04:17 am
Nope. I had an issue with items not being put into the main stockpile and just being left wherever. Fixed it by making new ones exclusively for those items.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: wierd on June 25, 2013, 03:04:39 pm
That's what designations at the stocks screen was for! :D

(Course, that led to other unfortunate consequences worthy of facepalming too....)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Insanity X on June 25, 2013, 09:36:47 pm
i wanted to have the only entrance to my fort be a drawbridge, but the miners didn't get around to removing the last two slopes.
and then a goblin seige showed up, slaughtered my livestock, took out several hunters and wiped out three quarters of my military before retreating. they also killed a baby

also, my civ is called the staff of wood, and the fort is fondleglove. hurray for random generaters
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on June 26, 2013, 12:44:25 am
Now all you need is for the local government to be called "the Purveyors of Love"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Insanity X on June 26, 2013, 04:11:49 am
Trying to expand stagnant pools and use floodgates to fill my moat (besides pumps, all I know how to do. I also don't know how to use pumps), which required channeling out a small area in the middle, which required building a small bridge
Thought the quicker way to get rid of it was to remove the edges, which dropped the floors through the lake, through my ore stockpile, showering the dwarves in the dining hall with boiling magma (wood + water + gravity = magma), hematite, dust and water

Now there's a corpse sitting on a table, I should just stick an apple in it's mouth and call it dinner
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vid_the_Impaler on June 26, 2013, 06:13:33 pm
I spent a half hour tallying up the total for my trade goods and the caravan's trade goods that I wanted, and then was baffled when they said they wouldn't trade at a loss. It turns out I was totaling the weight of the items. The price wasn't shown because I had no broker, but I didn't know that. I thought I was looking at price.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WafflesToGo on June 26, 2013, 08:51:02 pm
I think we all have accidentally pressed abandon the fortress instead of save game a few times...I remember when I was new I pressed it 5 or 6 times before I learned better
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aviator CJ on June 26, 2013, 09:47:04 pm
Quote from: WafflesToGo on June 26, 2013, 08:51:02 pm
I think we all have accidentally pressed abandon the fortress instead of save game a few times...I remember when I was new I pressed it 5 or 6 times before I learned better

I at one point somehow forgot the difference between save and abandon. So many forts lost, so much frustration, "how did I save them dammit?!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vyro on June 29, 2013, 01:30:12 pm
Every month in Spearsearches Megafortress starts the same. With a freshly drained corpse and an angry shout "WHO LET OUT THE VAMPIRE?! AGAIN!".
My immortal control room operator. Part-time ninja. Total Asshole.


An elite squad of swordsdwarves has a mundane engagement with a deadly dust Forgotten Bugaboo. The Godhammer malfunctions, dire straights situation. Then the entire squad lays happily farting purple clouds in the hospital, recovering from rotting Everything. My Militia Commander gets a "Splintman" nickname, having been strapped to several dozen splints after the same amount of surgeries - Frankenstein lives inside my Chief Medic. Surprisingly, they all live on. Then, with an easy hand, I sic the Swordscompany on a puny goblin ambush. Only to see them, slayers of hundreds, just stand there like lampposts and slowly get their asses handed to them. Snipers do intervene in time, no casualties suffered. No missing limbs, white all over. Guess them guys are just severely out of shape. A year later, same situation. Accidentally I check out the Health menu and what do I see there?
"Vision lost".
/facepalm
Guess what, soldiers. Hand over any shiny blue equipment. No, keep your exceptional steel armour, we've got enough of those. From now on, you are the Blind Guardians, the core of the Elite Meatshield Regiment. Congrats. Dismissed back to the central barracks.
In the hindsight, leaving them to train 24/7 was probably not so productive. But definitely very funny to watch.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WanderingKid on June 29, 2013, 04:06:47 pm
So I end up having to chain up some murderous psychopath of a dwarf who beats another dorf to death for no reason I can ascertain.  That alone isn't the facepalm.

About a season later, I realize I need a stonecrafter and in therapist this person has really good milking, too.  Excellent!  I set them up to do both, and I'm still not getting rock pots.  WTF?

Oh, right.  That's the 1 person in jail in the ENTIRE fort.  Nice work, overseer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slayerhero90 on June 29, 2013, 04:41:41 pm
Forgot to pause. In the middle of winter. Where it snows. With no booze.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on June 29, 2013, 05:47:10 pm
Quote from: Vyro on June 29, 2013, 01:30:12 pm
Guess what, soldiers. Hand over any shiny blue equipment. No, keep your exceptional steel armour, we've got enough of those. From now on, you are the Blind Guardians, the core of the Elite Meatshield Regiment. Congrats. Dismissed back to the central barracks.
In the hindsight, leaving them to train 24/7 was probably not so productive. But definitely very funny to watch.

On the positive side, you now have some very good trainers for the rest of your forces who probably won't cause too many unfortunate sparring accidents.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Merendel on June 29, 2013, 07:00:00 pm
Here are some facepalm moments from my most recent fort haveing to do with my first time playing around with a magma piston.

First palm.  Construction of the piston went well.  A few incidents with the caverns and a FB but I'd managed to smooth out the rough edges and get a fully functional magma piston setup.  I pull the fireing lever and watch the red goodness emerge and start filling my catchment area... then to my horror the smoke cleared and 1/3 of my piston was gone.   I didnt realize that during a cavein that piston was treated as a series of unconected 1x1 tile pillars, thought it was all 1 solid block.  Turns out 1/3 of my piston was on the last layer of floor above the magma sea and so those tiles crashed through and dissapeared into the SMR.

Palm 2.  Piston is repared if somewhat diminished and I fire it off agian.  Oh look one of the new bridges I built I must have used a non magma safe mechanism...  Now there's spilt lava everywhere that I have to wait for it to evaporate.

Palm 3.  Note to self, remember to hook up the piston support BEFORE letting the miners in to clean out the bottom of the piston.  A miner, a female hauler with baby in tow, and one of her older children that followed her in for some reason became dwarf pancakes.  Incidently her husband also became a casualty when the loss of 3 family members all at once drove him batshit crazy and the military had to put him down.

Palm 4.  Lock the damn door.  I'd manage to rig up a clever little setup with bridges and doors so only 1 tile of lava remains after the piston drops which vents down into a small evaporation room.   the miners can go in and start clearing out the botom of the piston as soon as the cavein dust clears.   Well after a few times I grew complacient and stoped locking the access door after the miners and haulers finished.  there was, afterall no reason for any dwarf to path into the piston room once they were done.   So I turn on the magma pumps and start filling the room with lava... and a child dwarf dashes down the stairs and opens the door trying to go into that room.  the child vaporizes and to add insult to injury one of his socks blocks open the door for several ticks leting quite a bit of lava out.  I had to bucket brigade from a couple Zlvls up to clear the lava out of the lower level.

Needless to say pistons can be quite a bit of !!FUN!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on June 29, 2013, 07:18:53 pm
A giant toad wandered in as I was sealing off the last few sections of cavern, having placed sealable gaps in the fortifications already placed against the map edge. One lone dwarf was returning from putting a fortification up, and would have walked right past the toad. So I quickly picked them out and issued a move order for the tile they were standing on. The Construct Building jobs on the other dwarves were removed as they came up, allowing the military time to get down there and beat the toad to death. Mission accomplished, no casualties, I feel very smart.

Then the troglodytes come through, and chase everybody around. I order the military back down, and they swoop in just in time to intercept a troglodyte about to catch a dwarf. Hurrah! Then I notice the dead recruit, and panic for a moment as I think one of the military got killed. Turns out I'd forgotten to rescind the move order on the lone dwarf from before, and naturally as soon as a troglodyte came into view the dwarf charged, completely unarmoured and with no combat skill. Oops.

RIP Sibrek, migrated Spring 51, died Summer 51.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nightwhips on June 30, 2013, 11:54:36 am
I just finished outfitting my baroness's rooms with brass furniture and a bunch of animals (bees, too). She just went insane because I missed a mandate. Now I have no one to use my menagerie.

Solution: I moved my mayor up there. Hopefully he'll be consoling lots of people amongst the screech of the coati and the humming of the bees.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GrimDark_Majyyks on June 30, 2013, 09:51:05 pm
I just now figured out that bridges can be made to raise southward by way of pressing (x). I have spent months thinking that bridges were incapable of elevating that way and have made very large expenditures of effort to accommodate this seemingly arbitrary limitation instead of simply paying mind to the fact that w, a, s, d, AND x are available options.

Seriously, I've spent this whole time inventing solutions and bending geography around a limitation that didn't exist.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BFEL on June 30, 2013, 10:23:32 pm
Quote from: GrimDark_Majyyks on June 30, 2013, 09:51:05 pm
I just now figured out that bridges can be made to raise southward by way of pressing (x). I have spent months thinking that bridge were incapable of elevating that way and have made very large expenditures of effort to accommodate this seemingly arbitrary limitation instead of simply paying mind to the fact that w, a, s, d, AND x are available options.

Seriously, I've spent this whole time inventing solutions and bending geography around a limitation that didn't exist.

Ah thems were some fun learning experiences :P

Is it on-topic to facepalm at other people? Because I just got handed a succession fort and....by Armoks bearded concubine they messed that stuff up....I mean, TWO TRADE DEPOTS? NEITHER WAGON ACCESSIBLE? A room flooded via river and kept secure by an UNFORBIDDEN DOOR. THATS IT, THATS WHAT IS KEEPING THE FORT FROM DROWNING.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: VerdantSF on June 30, 2013, 10:25:39 pm
Quote from: GrimDark_Majyyks on June 30, 2013, 09:51:05 pm
I just now figured out that bridges can be made to raise southward by way of pressing (x). I have spent months thinking that bridge were incapable of elevating that way and have made very large expenditures of effort to accommodate this seemingly arbitrary limitation instead of simply paying mind to the fact that w, a, s, d, AND x are available options.

Seriously, I've spent this whole time inventing solutions and bending geography around a limitation that didn't exist.

Oh man!  Definitely one of the best in this thread :D.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on July 01, 2013, 02:24:09 am
Noticed it was taking my haulers a long time to get the goblins from the cage traps to the mass pitting room, so I decided to replace my metal cages with wooden ones. I marked all the metal cages for melting and went about dropping one goblin at a time into the arena for my guardsmen to execute.

A few minutes later I notice a message: "dwarf cancels task, interrupted by goblin." I'd put hatches over the arena just to counter this exact problem! I zoomed to the message to see why the hatches weren't working and ended up at the main staircase instead.

And then I realized I should probably take the melt designations off of the cages that still have goblins in them
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GrimDark_Majyyks on July 01, 2013, 02:44:24 am
Quote from: VerdantSF on June 30, 2013, 10:25:39 pm
Quote from: GrimDark_Majyyks on June 30, 2013, 09:51:05 pm
I just now figured out that bridges can be made to raise southward by way of pressing (x). I have spent months thinking that bridge were incapable of elevating that way and have made very large expenditures of effort to accommodate this seemingly arbitrary limitation instead of simply paying mind to the fact that w, a, s, d, AND x are available options.

Seriously, I've spent this whole time inventing solutions and bending geography around a limitation that didn't exist.

Oh man!  Definitely one of the best in this thread :D.

If I could, I would mod it such that the first ever southward-rising bridge built by dwarves in this world was the subject of any/all of my artifacts, especially since the map I figured it out on has housed like eight of my forts and four or five still-alive adventurers (and like eight dead ones hue hue{actually more like ten dead ones because two of the living ones aren't technically alive]).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MattStriker on July 01, 2013, 04:02:36 pm
Desert embark. I need a lot of water for a project near the surface and the oasis I've built my fort around can't provide that much.

Luckily I have hit the caverns!

Cavern 1 has water, but it is rather inconveniently placed in an out-of-the way map corner.

Cavern 3's lake is in a nice spot, but ever since the venomous undulating glass frog incident I've been wary about doing anything on that layer.

Cavern 2's water is directly underneath my fort, making it an ideal source. So that's where I set up my pumpstack. Lots of pumps.


So my pumps start working and the cistern starts filling...

Goblin siege!

I hotkey to the surface and start ordering civvies to their emergency shelters, get the militia in position, double-check if the marksdwarves actually picked up their ammo for a change and then went about opening trap corridors to whittle the goblin numbers down...you know, normal stuff.


By now most of you probably realize what happened.

For those who didn't, here's a helpful hint:

When you turn a pumpstack on, make sure you do not forget to turn it off again. 4 dead dorfs, one more who'll probably be leaving us soon due to alternating periods of depression and random violence...and mud all over the floors of three levels, including the main dorms and the primary stockpile. There's trees growing everywhere.

At least some of them are tower-caps...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on July 01, 2013, 08:06:18 pm
Quote from: Vyro on June 29, 2013, 01:30:12 pm
Guess what, soldiers. Hand over any shiny blue equipment. No, keep your exceptional steel armour, we've got enough of those. From now on, you are the Blind Guardians, the core of the Elite Meatshield Regiment. Congrats.

That's a pretty kickass name for a squad you got there. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oc2Z38zVlQE)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on July 02, 2013, 04:07:22 am
I recently discovered that a dwarf would rather live on bugs outside than wade through 4/7 water to get back into the fortress. So much for easy swimming lessons. Time to floor over that little fiasco.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on July 02, 2013, 12:36:07 pm
Quote from: Mr Space Cat on July 01, 2013, 08:06:18 pm
That's a pretty kickass name for a squad you got there. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oc2Z38zVlQE)
I was hoping it'd be that song. But I think I prefer the original (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTD-QwqzVuE) (link also notable for containing one of the very few dramatic AMVs I've seen that does lipsynch well).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nightwhips on July 02, 2013, 10:16:53 pm
"You're letting me out?"

"Yeah, I gotta melt this, you're free to go."

"Really?"

"Yeah, get outta there, I gotta fulfill this work order. Hurry up."

"Do you want my weapons??"

"NO. GET OUT."

*Meng Saucedteapots cancels melt cage: interrupted by goblin*

*Meng Saucedteapots has been struck down*


Quote from: Drazinononda on July 01, 2013, 02:24:09 am
Noticed it was taking my haulers a long time to get the goblins from the cage traps to the mass pitting room, so I decided to replace my metal cages with wooden ones. I marked all the metal cages for melting and went about dropping one goblin at a time into the arena for my guardsmen to execute.

A few minutes later I notice a message: "dwarf cancels task, interrupted by goblin." I'd put hatches over the arena just to counter this exact problem! I zoomed to the message to see why the hatches weren't working and ended up at the main staircase instead.

And then I realized I should probably take the melt designations off of the cages that still have goblins in them
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on July 04, 2013, 02:54:45 pm
that was worth a few good laughs

i recently learned that if you raise a drawbridge against a wall, it acts as an atom smasher.

said knowledge cost me a potter, who was too stupid to move out of the way.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Philotes on July 04, 2013, 05:05:46 pm
Quote from: WafflesToGo on June 26, 2013, 08:51:02 pm
I think we all have accidentally pressed abandon the fortress instead of save game a few times...I remember when I was new I pressed it 5 or 6 times before I learned better

That never happened to me.

But i lost multiple fortresses by accidentally removing my main stairs when i wanted to remove the ramps around my fortress and realizing that way too late... (i always forget that it removes ramps AND stairs...) :/

Also i tend to make some stupid decisions when it's around 4 or 5 am and i'm still playing :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: petio999 on July 06, 2013, 10:45:32 am
A cat once sprained my shoulder in the arena.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on July 07, 2013, 02:00:37 am
My first attempt at a magma piston took half the fort upon firing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UraniumPhoenix on July 07, 2013, 07:30:42 am
I was building my defenses, and set up a rudimentary bridge. There was a tiny little space under my bridge, in which there stood 9 dwarfs(Out of 19) And lots of bins with finished goods. I then closed the bridge, having set it up. A month later i realize that I`ve lost half my dwarfes. To put it this way, i found them, and so did the other dwarves. Tantrum spiral for the win :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on July 07, 2013, 08:05:55 pm
it took me four months to realize that merchants with wagons can't leave if the fort is no longer wagon accessible.

my hint was the dwarves have bypassed your site.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on July 07, 2013, 11:23:19 pm
Quote from: petio999 on July 06, 2013, 10:45:32 am
A cat once sprained my shoulder in the arena.

It's kinda hard to facepalm with a sprained shoulder. One would need a second hand or something. And that would just be ridiculous.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: brydson on July 09, 2013, 05:35:42 pm
Named a dwarf noble after my girlfriend since she was starting to show an interest in my fortress.

Said dwarf melted herself away to nothing constructing my first magma shower... (I forgot that liquid passing through a fortification does so at extremely high pressure).

Told my girlfriend about it. Finely crafted gabbro memorial slate is not enough to appease her. Damn.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Achitus on July 09, 2013, 09:00:26 pm
Was building an outside city for my vault dwellers in the Fallout mod, thought I was finished with the outer walls, apparently a few blocks got suspended for unseen reasons, letting a whole mess of man-eater gators in, ruining everyone's day.

Sure I managed to kill 'em off, but there were still 5 fatalities and several maimings before the crisis was over, I truely facepalmed over the whole unfortunate event.  :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on July 10, 2013, 12:12:36 am
Quote from: brydson on July 09, 2013, 05:35:42 pm
Named a dwarf noble after my girlfriend since she was starting to show an interest in my fortress.

Said dwarf melted herself away to nothing constructing my first magma shower... (I forgot that liquid passing through a fortification does so at extremely high pressure).

Told my girlfriend about it. Finely crafted gabbro memorial slate is not enough to appease her. Damn.

The Corporeal Girlfriend has risen and is haunting the Overseer!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: fricy on July 10, 2013, 02:17:01 am
Quote from: brydson on July 09, 2013, 05:35:42 pm
Named a dwarf noble after my girlfriend since she was starting to show an interest in my fortress.

Said dwarf melted herself away to nothing constructing my first magma shower... (I forgot that liquid passing through a fortification does so at extremely high pressure).

Told my girlfriend about it. Finely crafted gabbro memorial slate is not enough to appease her. Damn.

Never ever name a Dwarf after someone you care about. My condolences friend. :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lalasa on July 12, 2013, 07:30:03 pm
I had one just now.  I misread my food stocks and now two of my dwarves are starving.  I thought it was odd that dozens of dwarves were cancelling "Give food" actions.  I rechecked my stocks and found that out of the 2000 or so food I thought I had, half of it was seeds and the other half was booze.  I'm such a moron!  I have 250 or so dwarves and only 106 food in the Other tab.  D:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on July 12, 2013, 10:39:03 pm
I sent ly military out to deal with a kobold ambush...
Turns out I forgot to give them weapons ._.
(Only two deaths though, one from the kobolds and one from a tantruming  soldier punching another's brain in.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GrimDark_Majyyks on July 13, 2013, 02:31:45 am
When I make a fort I usually designate a room in a high traffic area to be a lever room where I keep all the levers, and use a spreadsheet to keep note of their functions. One of mine went mysteriously unlabeled, which seemed odd to me, but surely I wouldn't decide not to give a label to something unless it was harmless right? I had someone pull it.

Well it turned out that the reason I didn't label it was because I needed to fix it because the mechanism connected to the bridge it was attached to wasn't magma safe, and it needed to be. 40 z-layers of pressurized magma is now (I can only assume) flooding the rest of the continent barring particularly high ground. I just now was able to shut the pumps off but nearly my whole map barring my on-top-of-mountain fortress is currently very red. The fortress happens to be mostly liquid-tight because my above-ground constructions are conveniently magma-proof and the fortifications are currently two z-levels above the surface of the lava flood. Not that it matters because lolfps.

I am pretty sure I had meant to remove that lever and forgot to. Actually, considering it, I think I had meant to make a thing and forgot before I started pumping idgi no idea what my plans were with that bridge.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on July 13, 2013, 02:36:44 am
Quote from: GrimDark_Majyyks on July 13, 2013, 02:31:45 am
I am pretty sure I had meant to remove that lever and forgot to.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This is going straight to the sigthread.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on July 13, 2013, 10:07:16 am
Quote from: GrimDark_Majyyks on July 13, 2013, 02:31:45 am
When I make a fort I usually designate a room in a high traffic area to be a lever room where I keep all the levers, and use a spreadsheet to keep note of their functions[...]

You know you can use (N)otes to mark tiles, such as levers? You can also forbid levers ('t' over them and forbid the first mechanism) so even if you forget and pull it before checking your notes, your dwarves won't actually take the job.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: fricy on July 13, 2013, 10:50:10 am
Quote from: Drazinononda on July 13, 2013, 10:07:16 am
Quote from: GrimDark_Majyyks on July 13, 2013, 02:31:45 am
When I make a fort I usually designate a room in a high traffic area to be a lever room where I keep all the levers, and use a spreadsheet to keep note of their functions[...]

You know you can use (N)otes to mark tiles, such as levers? You can also forbid levers ('t' over them and forbid the first mechanism) so even if you forget and pull it before checking your notes, your dwarves won't actually take the job.

Even better: with DFhack you can rename the levers, so you don't even need to go into (N)otes mode to decide.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GrimDark_Majyyks on July 13, 2013, 02:44:45 pm
Quote from: fricy on July 13, 2013, 10:50:10 am
Quote from: Drazinononda on July 13, 2013, 10:07:16 am
Quote from: GrimDark_Majyyks on July 13, 2013, 02:31:45 am
When I make a fort I usually designate a room in a high traffic area to be a lever room where I keep all the levers, and use a spreadsheet to keep note of their functions[...]

You know you can use (N)otes to mark tiles, such as levers? You can also forbid levers ('t' over them and forbid the first mechanism) so even if you forget and pull it before checking your notes, your dwarves won't actually take the job.

Even better: with DFhack you can rename the levers, so you don't even need to go into (N)otes mode to decide.

The point was mostly that I forgot to either remove or record the lever just this one whole time and it ends up being the most disastrous lever possible. I find the lever-room-with-accompanying-spreadsheet to be more foolproof than naming the levers in DFhack because sometimes I give things really stupid names and spreadsheets make me more inclined towards standardized naming conventions. Also the act of recording does a lot for my memory, as a nice bonus.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kumquat on July 14, 2013, 03:44:38 am

Impulse minecart elevator.

That's a fancy name for "dwarf grinder" the moment a sock gets in the gears.

You can forbid socks and corpses so they don't get picked up, but you cannot instantly turn off all "recover wounded" jobs. Well you can disable the labors with Therapist but when you have a pile of dead and/or dying legendaries in the path of the killer minecart full of schist blocks it pretty much means a tantrum spiral is about to happen.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kickemall1964 on July 17, 2013, 11:06:53 am
One of my fortresses i was visited by a dragon at first attack.
Luckily he fell in my traps. My Animal trainer needed a while to get it domesticated.
I thought if i put it at the entrance of my fort the goblins would think twice to get in.
Funny enough the next goblin was a thief and my dragon found him first and attacked and killed it with one burn.
But the flames got out of hand and burned through the whole ford, killing 2/3 of my dwarves and the rest went nuts and killed each-other.

so...

Loosing is fun :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on July 18, 2013, 02:58:33 am
Quote from: Kickemall1964 on July 17, 2013, 11:06:53 am
Loosing is fun :)

Yup, releasing the dragons of war is fun.

Losing is fun, too ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lalasa on July 19, 2013, 06:28:45 pm
I accidentally exported mittens which made my Queen very upset.  She had those who exported the mittens punished obviously.  One of those that accidentally brought an old mitten was a peasant named Meng.  My planter was charged with punishing Meng with a beating.  The planter, Deduk, begins to punch Meng and aims one of the punches at the peasant's head. 

The Planter punches The Peasant in the head with his left hand, bruising the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!

This all happened without the use of weaponry.  I don't know if I should be incredibly proud of my planter or frightened of him.
And to think this conflict happened because of old mittens.  I really don't know any more.  In fact, I think this mitten issue may cause a civil war or something.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on July 19, 2013, 07:55:03 pm
If it's not mittens, it's querns. If it's not querns, it's socks. If it's not socks, it's something really stupid, like someone acting out just because they had just lost half their family and some fool just demanded that tey make fifty glass doors for the nobles' quarters while their beloved ones' bodies lay rotting in the sun. The over-sensitive bastards.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on July 23, 2013, 03:06:52 am
*Snort* In current DF, you couldn't facepalm without killing yourself. Blunt damage is applied in a very strange way so that being 'adjacent' to any sort of bone means an organ will get insta-destroyed by slight punches - notably all parts of the central nervous system.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jonanlsh on July 24, 2013, 04:39:15 am
had a master sworddwarf who had a reputation for single-handedly putting down entire goblin sieges, wading into battle with his steel shortsword and clad in full steel armor. then his brain got bashed in. because his helmet, which he refused to exchange for something of superior defensive capability, was made of copper. he copped hell for that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SOLDIER First on July 24, 2013, 11:35:09 pm
Signed up just to post this:
I embarked with a river, and said river suddenly led to empty space; a waterfall.
"Wonder how tall it i- ohmygosh."
It's a 6 z-level drop.
Fun will surely ensue.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: crazyjake56 on July 24, 2013, 11:38:35 pm
Quote from: Sentient Bowtie on July 24, 2013, 11:35:09 pm
Signed up just to post this:
I embarked with a river, and said river suddenly led to empty space; a waterfall.
"Wonder how tall it i- ohmygosh."
It's a 6 z-level drop.
Fun will surely ensue.

Heh. I had an embark with on the old version of the fallout mod. Took me so long to figure out what those deaths were.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mate888 on July 26, 2013, 09:58:07 pm
When I thougt that Bronze Colossus could destroy walls, and I sent a nicely equipped group of dwarves to their deaths trying to defend it, then forgetting to close the drawbridge and letting it in.
Then, accidentally atom-smashing my party leader/master miner/stonecrafter/trader/warrior and making an elven trader to fall of it, killing him and pissing off his kind, making a war at me... everything for pulling a lever trying to make disappear some crap... fun is coming in the form of pointy-eared hippies...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on July 26, 2013, 10:06:00 pm
Quote from: Sentient Bowtie on July 24, 2013, 11:35:09 pm
Signed up just to post this:
I embarked with a river, and said river suddenly led to empty space; a waterfall.
"Wonder how tall it i- ohmygosh."
It's a 6 z-level drop.
Fun will surely ensue.

My last fort had two waterfalls both about 30 z-levels tall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SOLDIER First on July 27, 2013, 12:19:43 am
Did fun ensue?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on July 27, 2013, 02:28:32 am
I played for about 70 ingame years until FPS death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on July 28, 2013, 01:18:51 am
I called upon my non-training archer posse to put down a murderous dingo (mechanic was attacked and, with dwarven reflexes, jammed her baby into the blender - and got 'unhappy' about the result). I got a bit annoyed about their insanely slow response time - two didn't show up but instead went on a week-long 'pickup equipment' quest.

After fuming a bit, it dawned on me that i might check their active skills. Yep, they were both miners. I freed them of their military assignment, i need their mining expertise.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hitti-Litti on July 28, 2013, 06:52:15 pm
Dodk the legendary armorsmith, I have a question for you. When you were pitting that disarmed goblin and saw that a siege of 80 invaders was coming, why did you decide to not let the goblin go but instead slowly wandered with him to the most intense battleground? Needless to say that you had not put your armor on but only wore your ordinary clothing.

No, I'm not going to bury you in a nice tomb, 1x1 room with a shale coffin is good enough for you.

BTW, your baby survived despite getting hit by a bolt or two and being wrestled by a troll. He's a champ. You were not.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: chillas on July 31, 2013, 07:33:42 am
I had set up a quantum stockpile near my workshops, to deal with all the excess stone lying around.

A bit later I decided to start work on my grand hall, near the workshops.  I started by digging a couple of down ramps, which converged into a raised platform and then descended into the great hall, so the dwarves could see the entire hall in all its glory as they entered.

Good enough, but a while later I noticed my quantum stockpile was missing.  It turned out that I'd built the first down ramp right next to it, so the dwarves were pitching the stones down the ramp.  Okay, fine, I know where everything is now, I'll fix it and move it later.

Not long after I receive a message that my legendary miner has been killed by flying debris.

What?

I zoom and find him dead at the base of the ramp.  Apparently he'd been standing there at the exact moment someone else had tossed a stone down.

Moral of the story - cheat more carefully next time.  ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 0cu on July 31, 2013, 02:53:36 pm
Built a mist generator and the energy generated by my dwarven reactor is short 2. I miscalculated. A slight change in the design of the power train made it work, but my perfectionism took a hit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Repseki on August 01, 2013, 06:44:37 am
After happily capturing a Forgotten Beast in a cage trap that I had painstakingly gotten webbed, I focused my work on properly weaponizing it's poisonous gas. Half a year later I see a line of dwarves flooding to where I keep caged prisoners and wondered what they could be doing. I then saw the corpse of my Leg +15 Lasher in one of the cages where he apparently died of thirst...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grax on August 01, 2013, 09:26:08 am
I've just realized non-soil boimes don't give a fck any vegetation on muddy floors on any zlevel.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on August 01, 2013, 10:24:24 am
I pulled a classic one yesterday  8)
The river froze, so I dug out the ice above the 10-15z waterfall and installed some nice floodgates so I can shut off the mist and hopefully save some framerate. I built these golden beauties just downstream from the channel I dug for my wells  ::). I am glad I had linked the gates to a lever in time  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WanderingKid on August 01, 2013, 11:30:28 pm
Double facepalm.

First, to explore the caverns, I've been smoothing/fortification carving the walls.  When FBs would get in, I couldn't figure out how.... because, ya dorf, flyers FLY... over fortifications.

Next, while exploring said caverns, I've been running dig lines to nearby the 'unknown' area on a 5x5 embark, not really paying attention to how said lines were pathing.  Out of curiousity (and impatience, I've been waiting on a particular project to get dug out) I followed a miner heading towards where the next exploration line was being dug.

And followed....

and followed...

and... SERIOUSLY?!

This poor dorf pathed over 600 - 700 squares to go dig this thing out.  I've created my own labrynth.  The 2nd cavern layer spans 50 z levels and is a meandering mess of a cave.  At one point he went through a line over a cavern, dropped down the stairs on the other side, pathed back through under the same cavern, then up and over another one...  It's a pretzel.

Whoops.  Guess I'll run a few more 'main lines' if I do any more poking.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WanderingKid on August 03, 2013, 01:51:15 am
Annnd, another one, but in my defense I'm not usually so specific about uniforms.

So, you know when you make cloth/leather shoes , you make them in pairs?

Yeah, you don't with metal high boots.  Dang near started a riot over naked hairy feet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on August 03, 2013, 05:11:01 am
All footwear is generated in pairs, it's just that 'high boot' or 'metal high boot' assigns just a _single_ boot instead of a pair (or the dwarfs attempt to put both boots on the same foot?). Assigning 'high boot' or whatever twice, or two specific boots, solves the problem.

Properly equipping military is always a problem:
Human McOverseer: Here, Urist, these are your military-issue metal boots. You can put them on now.
Urist McMilitarydwarf: Put... them... on?
Human: ...on your feet.
Urist: But i'm already on my feet.
Human: No, you take the boots, and stick your feet in them.
Urist: Can you use smaller numbers? I have trouble counting so high.
Human: Look. Here - points at boot- Boot. Here -points at Urist's right foot- Foot. Foot goes in boot. Make it happen.
Urist -puts boot on right foot- : wow, awesome! I don't feel barefoot anymore! But only on my right foot. Whatever shall i do with my left?
Human: Arrrgh! Just stick it in your mouth!
Urist -does so- : Hmmm, why does it taste like foot in my mouth?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AutomataKittay on August 03, 2013, 05:17:42 am
Quote from: WanderingKid on August 03, 2013, 01:51:15 am
Annnd, another one, but in my defense I'm not usually so specific about uniforms.

So, you know when you make cloth/leather shoes , you make them in pairs?

Yeah, you don't with metal high boots.  Dang near started a riot over naked hairy feet.

All footwears and handwears are made in pairs, even metal ones. Assignments are a bit wonky sometimes, though, so it don't looks like it, especially if there're multiple layers of either assigned. It seem to works fine if it's only gauntlets or high boots replacing clothings ( might also works if it's set before socks? ).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WanderingKid on August 03, 2013, 05:35:31 am
Well, I had some dorfs with two masterwork steel boots, and some with one.  Maybe they stole from each other?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WanderingKid on August 03, 2013, 04:30:04 pm
Automata, I may have found the discrepency...

While boots may or may not be made in pairs (I'm still trying to catch my armorsmith in the act), they can apparently not always be made at the same quality if they do.  I have 19 boots here of masterwork quality:

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d178/GUDare/Dwarf%20Fortress/OddBoots.jpg~original)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AutomataKittay on August 03, 2013, 04:34:49 pm
Quote from: WanderingKid on August 03, 2013, 04:30:04 pm
Automata, I may have found the discrepency...

While boots may or may not be made in pairs (I'm still trying to catch my armorsmith in the act), they can apparently not always be made at the same quality if they do.  I have 19 boots here of masterwork quality:

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d178/GUDare/Dwarf%20Fortress/OddBoots.jpg~original)

Yep, it's the way for everything made in batch, even custom reactions that produces batches have issues with every product being possibly of different quality. I had overproduction of masterwork left gauntlet in my current fortress :D

It doesn't seem to have anything to do with equipping, though, my dwarves happily equip differing quality gears, or even different materials, when allowed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on August 03, 2013, 05:16:49 pm
Quote from: Larix on August 03, 2013, 05:11:01 am
All footwear is generated in pairs, it's just that 'high boot' or 'metal high boot' assigns just a _single_ boot instead of a pair (or the dwarfs attempt to put both boots on the same foot?). Assigning 'high boot' or whatever twice, or two specific boots, solves the problem.
Quote from: AutomataKittay on August 03, 2013, 05:17:42 am
All footwears and handwears are made in pairs, even metal ones. Assignments are a bit wonky sometimes, though, so it don't looks like it, especially if there're multiple layers of either assigned. It seem to works fine if it's only gauntlets or high boots replacing clothings ( might also works if it's set before socks? ).

What, really? They're forged in pairs? I've been doing the exact opposite, forge two boots per uniform and assign only a single boot apparently via uniform.

I'm now applying palm directly to the face.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: reality.auditor on August 03, 2013, 06:43:12 pm
Quote from: Mr Space Cat on August 03, 2013, 05:16:49 pm
What, really? They're forged in pairs? I've been doing the exact opposite, forge two boots per uniform and assign only a single boot apparently via uniform.
NOW that's some overproduction and underutility.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dresdor on August 04, 2013, 12:14:50 am
Wondering why my alpaca died.

Then realizing that my other two animals were starving.

And realizing that this game had implemented grazing in the two years since I played it last.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: flameaway on August 04, 2013, 09:37:54 pm
My face palm is systemic...  I look back at my DF skills a year ago and I think, "Man, you really didn't know what you were doing."

Now, I look at the state of my play and I think, "Man, you really don't know what you are doing."

Then I wonder why I'm so stupid...

 :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on August 05, 2013, 12:12:22 am
You wonder why you are stupid because you are awake. Everyone who is awake recognizes how stupid we are. Dwarf Fortress has taught you a painful lesson about reality. Congratulations, my friend.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 0cu on August 05, 2013, 12:33:42 am
Goblin ambush, squad of hammergoblins. I enable every alarm so my Civ stays inside and my marksdwarves get on the walls overlooking the bridge. Suddenly I see one marksdwarf charging out of my fort with a "station" command. No chance to get him back, he gets slaughtered. Then, I see another one, I check my station command. Everything is okay, but he keeps running outside. So I decide to station my 3 marksdwarf squads to run outside to help him. Oh well, the goblins are dead. But I've lost 5 good marksdwarves to a combination of human and dwarven stupidity.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Supersheepman on August 05, 2013, 09:02:25 am
I spent ages and ages setting up an elaborate cave-in trap for some forgotten beast that had been wandering around my caverns for the best part of two years. I open the gates, ready the trap, have some soldiers on hand, just in case, and what happens? A second forgotten beast shows up, and this one can fly (and breathe fire). It flies through the opening I made for the trap, attacks my army from behind, and distracts me long enough for the other one to walk under the trap and into the fortress.

Fire and poison filled battle ensues on the stairs. By the end of it I've lost 7 soldiers and a baby. Also I've got a giant cave-in trap sitting there, ready to spring on nothing.

Ugh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dresdor on August 05, 2013, 10:12:37 am
Quote from: Supersheepman on August 05, 2013, 09:02:25 am
I spent ages and ages setting up an elaborate cave-in trap for some forgotten beast that had been wandering around my caverns for the best part of two years. I open the gates, ready the trap, have some soldiers on hand, just in case, and what happens? A second forgotten beast shows up, and this one can fly (and breathe fire). It flies through the opening I made for the trap, attacks my army from behind, and distracts me long enough for the other one to walk under the trap and into the fortress.

Fire and poison filled battle ensues on the stairs. By the end of it I've lost 7 soldiers and a baby. Also I've got a giant cave-in trap sitting there, ready to spring on nothing.

Ugh.

Best laid plans of dwarves and men...clearly the flying one was waiting for you to build the trap before springing his own....they are in cahoots.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aviator CJ on August 06, 2013, 10:45:31 am
In my forts, I try to set up a hands-off silk farm, where I can just let it run with no further input from me. I've perfected the fluid-logic timers to open and close the relevant floodgates and drawbridges, so this time I decided to get fancy.

To wit: I set up two displays of sorts, so that I can see not only how full the timer-tank is, but also which way the water level is going - up or down. These displays are made of hatch covers made of materials coloured noticeably different from the floors beneath them.

The facepalm - the realisation that I hooked up the arrow backwards. It indicates a draining tank when the tank is filling, and a filling tank when draining.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dresdor on August 06, 2013, 07:45:05 pm
Do you know how much leather can fit on your second trade caravan if you set all requests to maximum?


Neither do I, I guess I am about halfway through the list.  I'm about up to 30% of the value of the stuff I have to trade, and my rough guestimate is about 50 bins of leather so far (in addition to a bunch of wood, metal bars, and desperately needed cloth, I have a dwarf sitting in a possession muttering about it)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AutomataKittay on August 07, 2013, 03:54:13 am
Quote from: dresdor on August 06, 2013, 07:45:05 pm
Do you know how much leather can fit on your second trade caravan if you set all requests to maximum?


Neither do I, I guess I am about halfway through the list.  I'm about up to 30% of the value of the stuff I have to trade, and my rough guestimate is about 50 bins of leather so far (in addition to a bunch of wood, metal bars, and desperately needed cloth, I have a dwarf sitting in a possession muttering about it)

Around 40 leather of each kind at very least ( 4 bins and 10 leather each on maxed order ), multiply that by how many you've maxed out :D

So around 120 bins, at least from domenstics and a lot more for decent sprawl.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: itg on August 07, 2013, 04:40:11 am
Aww :(



(http://i.imgur.com/6Mlek15.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HavingPhun on August 07, 2013, 08:57:58 am
I was using a danger room and one of the military dwarfs babies was impaled on the wooden spikes. Time to use those 4000 gold bars I have...  ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Scott Cee on August 07, 2013, 08:29:44 pm
It amazes me, given that the river (and moat I carved out from it) freezes every winter, that none of my dorfs have been encased in ice. Plenty have been on the ice when it unfreezes, though. It was mildly amusing when it happened to half a dozen goblins.

Champion Monom now has more than 70 significant kills.

I think I was able to draft my fort's queen into the military, but I don't know if it worked.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vyro on August 08, 2013, 12:48:12 pm
(http://i40.tinypic.com/23mx1eu.jpg)

Pretty much sums up my impression of this terrifying embark. Bet here it also rains wooden tablets saying "No Fun Allowed".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 0cu on August 08, 2013, 01:47:03 pm
Quote from: Vyro on August 08, 2013, 12:48:12 pm
(http://i40.tinypic.com/23mx1eu.jpg)

Pretty much sums up my impression of this terrifying embark. Bet here it also rains wooden tablets saying "No Fun Allowed".

what the hell?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chaikhou-L-Jabal on August 08, 2013, 08:22:27 pm
All the day, i was trying to make a 1000 year's old large world  (and tons of megabeasts )without DF crashing in the middle....
And finally i've succeded !!! i've reached the 1000 years  !

* Clearing Game objects..."
...
" Dwarf fortress has stopped working '

 :'(
Title: Re:
Post by: Jackboot on August 08, 2013, 10:09:15 pm
"Okay everyone, dump all these goblin corpses over the bridge that empties into the giant lava pit below."

"Wait, Urist what are you doing? Why are you on break over the lava pit of doom? Because now you're falling into lava. Congratulations."


Maybe I need stricter safety features...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 0cu on August 09, 2013, 12:18:27 am
Quote from: Chaikhou-L-Jabal on August 08, 2013, 08:22:27 pm
All the day, i was trying to make a 1000 year's old large world  (and tons of megabeasts )without DF crashing in the middle....
And finally i've succeded !!! i've reached the 1000 years  !

* Clearing Game objects..."
...
" Dwarf fortress has stopped working '

 :'(

That doesn't mean anything. Be patient, DF is working in the background.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on August 09, 2013, 04:38:53 pm
Quote from: 0cu on August 09, 2013, 12:18:27 am
Quote from: Chaikhou-L-Jabal on August 08, 2013, 08:22:27 pm
All the day, i was trying to make a 1000 year's old large world  (and tons of megabeasts )without DF crashing in the middle....
And finally i've succeded !!! i've reached the 1000 years  !

* Clearing Game objects..."
...
" Dwarf fortress has stopped working '

 :'(

That doesn't mean anything. Be patient, DF is working in the background.

For me, the game generally exits at that point. _But_ it seems that the crash just means DF exits in a somewhat disorderly fashion, while the savefile is still perfectly functional and up-to-date. Just fire up the program again and see if you can load the savefile, chances are pretty good it's alive and well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheDarkStar on August 11, 2013, 09:24:27 pm
I managed to survive the goblin ambush with only 10-15 dwarf deaths (I did not get my military trained until it was too late). Unfortunately, I did not seal the caverns as well as I thought, so a dust FB (the dust makes everything rot) came through. It was killed, but now my fort is filled with corpses and miasma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dnf on August 13, 2013, 01:27:58 am
I have bought some unusual pets from caravan of "Poor Elf's second hand clothes", and first one didn't last for ONE YEAR and died of OLD AGE. Beware, elves are not honest traders!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dresdor on August 13, 2013, 07:23:05 am
Quote from: dnf on August 13, 2013, 01:27:58 am
I have bought some unusual pets from caravan of "Poor Elf's second hand clothes", and first one didn't last for ONE YEAR and died of OLD AGE. Beware, elves are not honest traders!

Well, tigers lions bears oh my don't last well on elven tofu.  The shock to coming back to real food at the hands of dwarves "saving" them can sometimes be too much for their weakened bodies.

(http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQnJUh-k7wdLqcWfbQ4vCslAupFmBZvdw5CZcJn6QQyYplmBPfB0Q)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on August 14, 2013, 08:06:54 pm
i somehow mistakened an engraving for a dwarf and tried to get it back to work
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on August 14, 2013, 08:14:55 pm
I gave goblins special reactions so that they'd have access to adamantine by default, to increase difficulty. The first siege that comes? 100% Goblin Macemen.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on August 14, 2013, 08:28:11 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on August 14, 2013, 08:14:55 pm
I gave goblins special reactions so that they'd have access to adamantine by default, to increase difficulty. The first siege that comes? 100% Goblin Macemen.

This is perhaps one of the best ones in the thread: it's not a noob mistake, it's not even a mistake, it's just an unforeseen ironic consequence.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on August 14, 2013, 09:26:26 pm
imagine the looks on a goblin's face when they realized that their incredibly expensive wiffle bats is doing no damage whatsoever
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 14, 2013, 09:46:16 pm
Started up a tiny embark with a little hill. Two seasons in, I've hit gold and platinum. We'll see where it goes from there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WanderingKid on August 16, 2013, 04:02:21 am
Decided to take on someone's comment about the 'single pick challenge'.  So, I buy and tinker with Fraps to get it working, figure out how to use Windows Movie Maker, and generally screw around a bit finally making myself a YouTube channel to boot.

So, after a few false starts and generally learning the priority order of starting with zilch, I get a decent run going and FINALLY have an embark which is undead terrifying, instead of just random rainstorms of plague across the landscape.  It's even got an undead yeti I've nicknamed the abominable snowman who's haranguing all migrants.

So, what do I do?  I activate FRAPS in the wrong damned window and proceed to record my voice and game for an hour while I record a screen holding the FRAPS movie folder...... and a clock.  That's it.

*headdesk*headdesk*headdesk*

We'll try this again over the weekend... right after I get this headshaped dent out of my keyboard.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on August 16, 2013, 06:42:49 am
apparently forgotten beast thrips are immune to webs, since one got blasted with a ton of webs on cage trap yet with no effect.

it then used fire blast on my spider.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dresdor on August 16, 2013, 07:36:26 pm
Reading the legends today I found out why my solo dwarf died, despite being sealed away in the fortress with no access to the outside world and having plenty of food, beer, and being escatically happy.

She was killed by a human zombie.  How it got in I have no idea, must have teleported.  No human undead were inside the walls, and no human corpses either.  In fact, the only undead inside the fort were the occasional ghost.  I wasn't paying attention at the time, or I could have seen what was going on.  My next four attempts to retake the fort have failed for various reasons, and while I like the fort, I think that its time to give up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on August 16, 2013, 08:51:14 pm
Quote from: dnf on August 13, 2013, 01:27:58 am
I have bought some unusual pets from caravan of "Poor Elf's second hand clothes", and first one didn't last for ONE YEAR and died of OLD AGE.
Was it a giant bug? Those have incredibly short lifespans.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dresdor on August 16, 2013, 09:15:18 pm
Another fun facepalm due to fortress reclaiming...

One reclaimed fort has an honor guard of freindly goblins....the same goblins who sieged the place and killed every last dwarf in the stronghold.

Another reclaimed fort has three very friendly necromancers....but their hordes of undead are still hostile and sneaking around.

I'd hate this game if I didn't love it so much
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on August 17, 2013, 05:33:08 am
(http://s6.postimg.org/oj6bsajpd/screenshot_3.png)


apparently fire does not destroy trees.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on August 17, 2013, 05:54:27 am
Quote from: dresdor on August 13, 2013, 07:23:05 am
Quote from: dnf on August 13, 2013, 01:27:58 am
I have bought some unusual pets from caravan of "Poor Elf's second hand clothes", and first one didn't last for ONE YEAR and died of OLD AGE. Beware, elves are not honest traders!

Well, tigers lions bears oh my don't last well on elven tofu.  The shock to coming back to real food at the hands of dwarves "saving" them can sometimes be too much for their weakened bodies.

(http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQnJUh-k7wdLqcWfbQ4vCslAupFmBZvdw5CZcJn6QQyYplmBPfB0Q)
Elves are cannibals. I seriously doubt they'd feed their animals plants.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vomitmaster on August 17, 2013, 07:57:17 am
Only face palm moments I've had so far is being unable to keep my dwarfs from dieing of thirst, every time. :T I can't figure out how to keep them from doing that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on August 17, 2013, 08:56:46 am
The Answer, of course, is MOAR BEER.

Go to stocks menu (z), go to kitchen screen, disable the cook option on Plump helmets and cave wheat (and whatever else makes alcohol, I forget). Build a still, have it (b)rew drink on repeat. Buy all the alcohol the caravans offer Sewer brew, Swamp Whiskey, Longland wine, all of it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vomitmaster on August 17, 2013, 10:57:02 am
Quote from: Ozarck on August 17, 2013, 08:56:46 am
The Answer, of course, is MOAR BEER.

Go to stocks menu (z), go to kitchen screen, disable the cook option on Plump helmets and cave wheat (and whatever else makes alcohol, I forget). Build a still, have it (b)rew drink on repeat. Buy all the alcohol the caravans offer Sewer brew, Swamp Whiskey, Longland wine, all of it.

I did! I had three stills running around the clock, PEOPLE STILL DIED OF THIRST
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on August 17, 2013, 11:39:35 am
Secure some water at floor level. More than one dwarf at a time can use an open water tile, and dwarves don't deplete the water when they drink it.

In theory you could sustain a fortress forever on half a dozen buckets of water taken from a murky pool, though the dwarves will hold out long enough to get thirsty and be unhappy with the water quality. Pumping the stagnant water from the collection pit to a 2-deep 1x1 pit will clean the water and keep the mud out of the dwarves' reach.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vomitmaster on August 17, 2013, 05:18:33 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on August 17, 2013, 11:39:35 am
Secure some water at floor level. More than one dwarf at a time can use an open water tile, and dwarves don't deplete the water when they drink it.

In theory you could sustain a fortress forever on half a dozen buckets of water taken from a murky pool, though the dwarves will hold out long enough to get thirsty and be unhappy with the water quality. Pumping the stagnant water from the collection pit to a 2-deep 1x1 pit will clean the water and keep the mud out of the dwarves' reach.

Hm, time to start trying to embark with underground rivers!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on August 17, 2013, 06:53:13 pm
I was starting an embark on a terrifying tundra with the goal of building an aboveground fortress regardless of the zombies or horrible clouds.

I spent 30 minutes painstakingly preparing to embark, after starting with a completely blank template. After embarking I realized I forgot the picks.

Ctrl+Alt+Delete restart mode engaged.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: thoushaltcallmelars on August 18, 2013, 01:12:12 am
What do you do when you have an entire (50x50) stone stockpile full of dolomite, hematite, magnetite, and limonite, and enough charcoal to make Elves bawl their eyes out?

You spam-craft steel, right? Right?
Yeah, someone invent a time machine and tell me that when I was making this fortress.

You see, I didn't realize that "Dolomite = Flux Stone" and the implications thereof - I could've had full suits of steel armor within the first year. Of course, I realized it real quick-like when my military got squashed by Lashers three months before a siege. I'm supposed to outfit and train a new military that fast... how, again?

Needless to say:
thoushaltcallmelars cancels Fortress Mode; Raging at his own stupidity and lack of planning ahead.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on August 18, 2013, 10:05:49 am
I actually had a minor facepalm moment with stockpiles. I had been planting some pigtail to get a cloth industry started up, but I didn't realize that I had not set up a stockpile to accept the pigtail, so I had lost some of it, but I didn't lose all of it, so it's not too bad.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Repseki on August 18, 2013, 02:47:19 pm
A goblin ambush popped up just outside the gates, where I had about 15 War Dog's stationed. About a minute later those dogs are all dead, but they happened to startle the goblins enough to scare them off.

I open things up and a few dwarves start collecting everything only to have a Were-Scorpion pop up right next to a few of them. Thinking my three Spear Dwarves in full steel and decently trained would be enough I quickly had them rush out to try and save those outside.

Farmer stabbed in the head with it's stinger first hit.

Hauler punched for a broken arm, then kicked in the chest and propelled 20 tiles away.

My military reach it, I cross my fingers. It grabs and rips out the back teeth of my Commander before stabbing him in the face, breaks the leg of another, and stabs the last in the gut only to have him transform immediately and finish off his friend. He then kills the original Were, and rips the Hauler apart before turning back into a Dwarf and looking around confused.

I think I'll just let my cage traps deal with were-beasts from now on...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on August 18, 2013, 06:34:24 pm
Aren't werebeasts trap immune?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on August 18, 2013, 07:41:03 pm
Yes
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on August 18, 2013, 08:42:45 pm
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v214/smjjames/Untitled_zps7ff78d45.png) (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/smjjames/media/Untitled_zps7ff78d45.png.html)
I was testing the production using a drop chute from the sand collection point when suddenly...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v214/smjjames/Untitled2_zps9ab0b92c.png) (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/smjjames/media/Untitled2_zps9ab0b92c.png.html)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v214/smjjames/Untitled3_zpsd46f84ee.png) (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/smjjames/media/Untitled3_zpsd46f84ee.png.html)

DAMMIT! XD *immediately stops all sand and glass production and drop chute usage* Killed one of my dwarves (13 z level drop from collection point) and broke the leg of my broker/manager who somehow managed to dodge two tiles away.

So much for the drop chute........

Also, I am in no way supersitious, it would have been deadly at 12 or 14 z levels.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on August 18, 2013, 11:34:31 pm
Quote from: smjjames on August 18, 2013, 08:42:45 pm

I was testing the production using a drop chute from the sand collection point when suddenly...
DAMMIT! XD *immediately stops all sand and glass production and drop chute usage* Killed one of my dwarves (13 z level drop from collection point) and broke the leg of my broker/manager who somehow managed to dodge two tiles away.

So much for the drop chute........

Also, I am in no way supersitious, it would have been deadly at 12 or 14 z levels.

In the future, use a hatch cover 1 level above the bottom.  Then just cycle it every time you run out of sand.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tovical on August 19, 2013, 05:24:16 pm
I went to dig a moat and realized I could not because I had (for a third time, no less) carved out rooms on the level where my moat needed to be.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: fricy on August 21, 2013, 10:03:50 am
Not in the game, but I think it still counts:
Uploaded a new Macnewbie pack to dffd.wimbli.com from a super slow connection, finished editing the descriptions, copied about 10 links, etc. Then clicked delete listing by mistake.

-SLAM-
-SLAM-
-SLAM-

-facedesk-

edit: of course I did it again. Third time the charm...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yesirn on August 21, 2013, 04:26:45 pm
Sent out 8 military dwarves ( all of them mostly untrained ) to kill a goblin theif.

The goblin theif parried my dwarfs attack and counter attacked and instantly killed him took the leg off of another and broke anothers leg.

Goblin theif too strong.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yesirn on August 21, 2013, 04:32:41 pm
And then an ambush comes.

*whole military dead*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Valikdu on August 22, 2013, 07:44:06 am
No, you can't stockpile inorganic materials that are just tagged as [BONE].

*facedesk*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grimmash on August 22, 2013, 08:48:47 am
On my current map I started a massive defensive project consisting of walled farms and pastures, a trap filled courtyard, and an execution shaft.  Problems that have occurred:

After completely finishing the project, siege comes and I realize I left 3 up ramps to one section of wall, 40 goblins rush in.

After surviving said siege, I open the gates, and let out my dwarves to collect dead and fix the stupid ramp.  An ambush comes while they collect the dead and no less than 10 civvies and 10 militia are slaughtered by three goblin crossbowmen. Three crossbowmen do more damage than a 40 goblin siege.

When dumping the caged goblins into the execution pit I forget to close the bridge at the bottom, and find out that a 20 z level fall does not kill most of them.  I can't dig deeper yet, because the caverns one z level below have two forgotten beasts running around.

I think the end goal will be to drop the shaft into the FB pits and let the gobbos and FBs sort out their issues while I get to work finding the magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pinstar on August 22, 2013, 12:15:48 pm
Embark with a hunter who has a copper crossbow and 20 copper crossbow bolts. He proceeds to attack some wildlife (I don't remember the kind, but it was nothing dangerous)

He proceeds to unload all 20 crossbow bolts into the beast wounding it to hell but failing to kill it. Cancels job due to running out of bolts. Beastie bleeds to death and dies, but rots before anyone comes to get it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UnlawfullyDeranged on August 22, 2013, 03:36:05 pm
Brought hematite, marble, and coal. Built a craftdwarf's shop and queued nest boxes. Forgot to disallow marble in stone menu. I now have several -marble nest boxes-.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jcochran on August 23, 2013, 11:51:37 am
Can't say this is my facepalm, but it's worthy of a facepalm..

Just had the dwarven caravan arrive and the liaison did his usual meeting with the mayor. While that meeting was going on a dragon arrived on scene.

Well, the meeting finally came to a close and the liaison proceeded to exit the embark.
Right in front of the dragon.
A second later, there's a whoosh of flame, some smoke, and no more liaison.
 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mek42 on August 24, 2013, 09:10:22 am
My embark has an aquifer in a not horribly inconvenient location.  So I channeled into the aquifer to make a well.   This is when I learned that mud on the bottom of one Z of water makes a well unusable, no biggie, first time I tried this.

This led me to some heroic digging efforts to ramp up to that nonfunctional well.  Ultimately catching a miner outside the gates during a siege, costing me half my military to rescue her.  First facepalm, the miner is master miner and was kicking more butt than my military.  Second facepalm, this morning I realized I could have treated the aquifer like  a stream and just dug  a well space like I usually do with a different well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: oldark on August 25, 2013, 02:42:36 am
A beseiging force of tigermen has arrived.  Both bridges in our entryway are raised (they form an airlock for caravans) as a precaution while our military consisting of 2 steel equipped veterans and 20 peasants wielding stone mauls and leather armor form up at the airlock.  The moment is deemed right and I move our forces in between the two bridges and close the inner one as a safety measure. I order the outer bridge dropped, ready to watch my veterans tear through the tigerman squad and see how many of the peasants earn their place.  A loud *crunch* is heard as I discover that the outer bridge drops in the opposite direction from what I expected and 22 dwarves are atomizied.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on August 25, 2013, 06:38:33 pm
I was using fastdwarf to speed up siege cleanup and when I had thought they were finished dumping stuff, I closed the atom smasher.

Suddendly
UristMcFarner has been crushed by a drawbridge!
UristMcHauler has been crushed by a drawbridge!
UristMcHauler has been crushed by a drawbridge!

XD oops.......

I had an initial thought of savescumming, but nah, not like I lost near-irreplaceable dwarves., and this is DF. Also turned fastdwarf back off since I had done what I wanted anyway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Silverlock on August 25, 2013, 09:40:26 pm
Quote from: oldark on August 25, 2013, 02:42:36 am
A beseiging force of tigermen has arrived.  Both bridges in our entryway are raised (they form an airlock for caravans) as a precaution while our military consisting of 2 steel equipped veterans and 20 peasants wielding stone mauls and leather armor form up at the airlock.  The moment is deemed right and I move our forces in between the two bridges and close the inner one as a safety measure. I order the outer bridge dropped, ready to watch my veterans tear through the tigerman squad and see how many of the peasants earn their place.  A loud *crunch* is heard as I discover that the outer bridge drops in the opposite direction from what I expected and 22 dwarves are atomizied.


Ahhhhahahahahaha!  That is excellent!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zlob on August 26, 2013, 05:16:24 am
Embarked in evil biome, dug into the hill, built a bridge and raised it. "Finally safe" I thought. I had my yaks butchered so that they couldn't haunt me after they get killed. I got more food after all! Wait, is that hair moving? OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mirrizin on August 26, 2013, 11:52:28 am
So, I had a pretty solid fortress with a very strong militia, multiple legendary warriors, stout and strong. Very few casualties over the years, mostly due to civilians being reckless in the caverns. I'd already killed three or four forgotten beasts, so when I was informed that there was a three eyed, trunked, essence-breathing periwinkle crab in cavern 2, I didn't worry overmuch. I sent my army to the usual ambush spot and watched its movements.

Being a crab, it found a nearby pond and stayed there.

I didn't want to let my troops starve, and didn't want to send them after it, so I sent them back to training and figured I'd check on Mr Elephant Crab every now and then.

And once I checked, and it was already in cavern 1 (they're linked by a tunnel) and barreling for the stairs to the surface.*

I didn't have time, I thought, to check if anyone else was below, and so I sent my troops to the ambush site, checked again, and the crab was already past it! Quickly sent them to the outer court and watched, and there it came, immediately blasting dust everywhere.

Now, it seemed that this crab wasn't heavy enough to deal with the recoil, so with every breath it slammed itself into nearby walls and floors, and likewise the first responders, who were of course the finest fighting dwarves of Worksack. Still, nobody seemed to be getting seriously hurt until the blasted thing finally slammed its head into the ground and died abruptly.

I sighed a sigh of relief, and waited for the dwarves to get up. They didn't. Oh, they must be injured, but what is that blue thingie flashing. What's this? Paralyzed? Suffocating! Ahhhh!

There went a third of my army, including our great spearmaster commander, dead to a badly engineered or suicidal periwinkle crab.

I just hope whatever-it-is doesn't spread, but so far it doesn't seem to be. The army is replaced, but I am not so confident anymore in its ability to fend off the green menace.

* My fortress has an inner and outer court, and the stairwell comes out onto the outer court. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: thoushaltcallmelars on August 26, 2013, 02:34:09 pm
I abandoned multiple fortresses not realizating that depot access isn't properly shown until the depot is completed.

EDIT: Moved the pseudo-cancellation redtext to signature, because I realized it'd make a great signature. For me, anyways.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lazygun on August 27, 2013, 07:41:53 am
Early autumn, first year, I realize I'm not going to have time to dig out a completely wagon-accessible path to my depot. So I hastily construct a second depot on the surface, next to the entrance. Well, the dwarven caravan arrives, and I drag out my bone crafts etc. to the the outside depot. Then I notice that the pack animals unloaded in the interior depot, one wagon unloaded on the outside depot, and the other wagon stalled half-on and half-off the outside depot. And if I try to trade, the merchants say they haven't finished unloading yet. It looks like this year's first caravan supply is a failure.  *face-palm*.

I just hope I have enough food to make it to the spring and the elvish caravan.

I wonder... does this mean I don't get migrants this year? I suppose I'll find out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on August 27, 2013, 12:09:02 pm
Just deconstruct both depots, while putting everything that was in them into storage for safekeeping.

Everything.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist MacNoob on August 27, 2013, 12:32:00 pm
The merchants themselves will suffice for next year's trading season. They have insulted you with their 'unloading' shenanigans. Why, back in my day, we fired traders that we didn't agree with out of magma cannons and nobody retaliated because their merchants were just filthy peasants. Now they have these newfangled 'bills of rights' and whatnot. Disgusting. They'll be giving rights to the goats next, I tell you!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PetWolverine on August 27, 2013, 01:14:28 pm
The farmer/brewer from my original seven had a cut on his hand that would not heal. I chalked it up to his "slow to heal" attribute and trained up a couple new farmers and brewers - two of each, to have a backup, since I wasn't short on dwarves.

Years passed. Then I had a marksdwarf with a broken shoulder. She was also bedridden for an unreasonably long time. My chief medical dwarf was assigned and had diagnosing turned on; indeed, he'd been spending almost all of his time diagnosing the marksdwarf. Again and again and again. He was a professional diagnostician from all this diagnosing. She was still injured and not healing.

I figured, on the bright side, soon I'd have a legendary diagnostician.

Then I took a look at the farmer again. The cut had been diagnosed; it was infected, and needed to be sutured and dressed.

*facepalm*

So I enabled suturing, wound dressing, and for good measure, setting bones on my chief medical dwarf (I already had a surgeon from an immigrant wave). Sure enough, before I knew it, Urist McFarmerBrewer was back up, planting crops and brewing beer. Of course by this time his replacements were legendary growers and he was merely great. No matter, it was good to have him back.

Also before I knew it, the marksdwarf was back up and running around.

*facepalm*

I could have had a legendary diagnostician.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on August 27, 2013, 07:10:15 pm
I just accidentially pitted my semi-tame pet dragon into the live-fire training range and promptly burnt up almost all of my marksdwarf squad, the only one who didn't get vaporized was sleeping or otherwise not at the training range when the dragon breathed fire on the goblins and trolls that were also pitted.

It's training is at well-trained, so..... I'm not sure whether to butcher it or what. I don't have any ideas or plans in mind for the dragon right now and I'm not sure I'm ready to completely tame the beast.

Edit: eh, I decided to butcher it I guess.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WanderingKid on August 28, 2013, 03:55:09 am
Ivy Lashes recording has taken a series of stupids, all of them avoidable, all of them self-inflicted.  The fort itself is fine.  I just am apparently a horrible recorder.

In no particular order:
Recorded the wrong screen with FRAPS.
Ended up with a vocal / image disconnect due to overloading the CPU and it screwing up the vocal record.
Left the microphone off.
Forgot to turn ON Fraps...

*Facepalm*  Gonna get it one of these days.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadenight123 on August 28, 2013, 04:30:08 am
tried to dig an open air cistern for rain water, which I planned on filling by deviating all the nearby 'pools' of water into it.
The Miner stupidly dug himself down 23 z-levels, climbed back up for the first tile he had forgotten, then plummeted to his death for 24 z-levels,

Note to self: Remember, dwarfs believe in Warner Bros Gravity. Gravity doesn't believe in dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on August 28, 2013, 12:12:30 pm
Wy would you need a cistern 24 Z-levels deep?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mirrizin on August 28, 2013, 02:28:46 pm
Because you can?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on August 28, 2013, 04:49:28 pm
I can't really argue with that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WanderingKid on August 28, 2013, 04:54:30 pm
Dwarf father to son: "Son, today, we're going to build a cistern for the fortress."
Son: "Alright dad, where do we start?"
Father: "Well, first, we check to make sure we've got good stone a good 25 stories deep."
Son: "25 stories dad!  Wow, that's a lot of water, why not just a level or two?"
Father: "Son, that's not a cistern.  That's a pond.  Elves bathe in those."
Son: "Oh, I see.  Well, what about 10 stories deep dad?  Sure that would be enough water  to keep the fortress safe for a long time?"
Father: "Son, a mere 10 stories is what we use for minor construction work with obsidian.  We wouldn't want our cistern to simply look like one of our obsidian coolers, would we?"
Son: "Well, if it was funct..."
Father: "WOULD WE?"
Son: (squeaky voice) "no..."
Father: "Good, so, now we go 25 stories down, and approximately 15 meters round...."

Passerby (to himself): "Oh gods, Urist is making another construction for the fortress.  I'd best warn the mayor."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JAFANZ on August 28, 2013, 11:23:40 pm
I would note that a 1x1x24 cistern would be inherently more useful than even a 3x4x2 one... (amongst other things, you'd only have one tile exposed to evaporation at any given time)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on August 29, 2013, 12:18:55 am
by the time my 11x11x2 cistern (with 4 wells, though I could make more) gets anywhere near evaporation, My pump stack will fill it right back up. Maybe I'm ignorant, but I can't imagine a use for a 24 story water stack that would get me to switch.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JAFANZ on August 29, 2013, 06:16:34 am
shadenight123 specified the cistern was to be filled by rain capture, since the only tiles that convert rain to liquid water are the ones at the bottoms of the pools when you embark, his water supply is inherently very limited.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on August 29, 2013, 02:46:51 pm
... and AFAIK water evaporates only if it is 1/7 deep, so at most the top level would evaporate.
But I like the reasoning - "elves bath in it", so very true and almost C|N>K (coffee piped through nose to keyboard).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on August 29, 2013, 06:56:01 pm
In hotter climes, any water outside can evaporate. A bridge or roof will stop this, but also stop any water from being collected directly.

Water collection under these conditions will vary from normal with a dip in summer to a few dribbles only in winter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on August 29, 2013, 09:38:17 pm
In a desert though, all bets are off when counting on rain. Maybe you'll get seasonal rains, or maybe it'll only rain once every several years.

Anyways, had a semi-facepalm, not sure if you would call it a facepalm. Anyway, I had accidentially forbid and detasked an obsidian boulder that a mason mood was using after construction had started. I thought I had aborted the mood, but it came out with an iron door. Kind of makes sense since obsidian has a good deal of iron in it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Alarith on August 29, 2013, 09:45:33 pm
I face palmed when I saw that Were animals can spread their disease, should have realized that.  It wasn't deadly, but it did kill my bookkeeper.  Also, when a group of migrants arrived in the one small spot where they would be trapped by a river, and by the time my dwarves got to them the migrants were throwing tantrums.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on August 29, 2013, 09:54:52 pm
Quote from: Alarith on August 29, 2013, 09:45:33 pm
It wasn't deadly, but it did kill my bookkeeper.

Wait, what? If it kills, it's deadly, right?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Alarith on August 29, 2013, 10:26:28 pm
Quote from: Ozarck on August 29, 2013, 09:54:52 pm
Quote from: Alarith on August 29, 2013, 09:45:33 pm
It wasn't deadly, but it did kill my bookkeeper.

Wait, what? If it kills, it's deadly, right?
Whoops, I meant it didn't cause my fortress to collapse.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on August 30, 2013, 04:52:24 pm
Quote from: smjjames on August 29, 2013, 09:38:17 pm
I thought I had aborted the mood, but it came out with an iron door. Kind of makes sense since obsidian has a good deal of iron in it.
Iron is also the first item in the metals file, and the metals file is the first of the inorganic files.

I keep meaning to move some other metal to the first position in the file so I can see if that's why iron is chosen in the absence of the expected base material, but I keep forgetting. Forbidding the base material works for things other than metal -- I've had iron clothing. I've also had a mood stall and fail, but I'm not sure if that was caused by forbidding everything or forbidding bone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mirrizin on August 30, 2013, 05:08:31 pm
I am, for nefarious reasons, trying to dig a really really deep shaft. At this point, it's reached the top of the first cavern, and breaking through that hole has been time consuming and kind of dicey for an overseer who doesn't like to kill dwarves lightly.

I thought starting a small cave in would speed the process. So, I singled out a block to drop, and dug appropriately. I was sure, watching, that the miner wasn't standing on the block that was to drop, but...

When the cave in hit, the miner started fighting. He fell with the cave in, and might've been okay except his pick, falling freely, amputated his leg. He is now in a coffin.

So much for that... :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on August 30, 2013, 05:23:40 pm
Quote from: mirrizin on August 30, 2013, 05:08:31 pm
I am, for nefarious reasons, trying to dig a really really deep shaft. At this point, it's reached the top of the first cavern, and breaking through that hole has been time consuming and kind of dicey for an overseer who doesn't like to kill dwarves lightly.

I thought starting a small cave in would speed the process. So, I singled out a block to drop, and dug appropriately. I was sure, watching, that the miner wasn't standing on the block that was to drop, but...

When the cave in hit, the miner started fighting. He fell with the cave in, and might've been okay except his pick, falling freely, amputated his leg. He is now in a coffin.

So much for that... :(

Yeah, the cavein dust will suck the miner downwards or otherwise knock him off the ledge.

I had a miner who got it worse, due to some sort of deconstruction accident while channeling out the main stairwell to make it 'outdoors', two miners fell at the same time, down at least 15 z levels. One died on impact, the other landed on the other and while he survived, he had broken bones in both upper and lower legs and his left arm was equally shattered. Unfortunately, despite me having soap available, he died to a raging infection, almost every wound was infected.

I had hoped there if there was anything that could be done, short of merciful killing, or hoped he would pull through, but what was really needed are antibiotics, not soap.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: aiseant on August 31, 2013, 11:37:15 am
2 seconds ago, when I realized that I could stack all the goblins I catched in only one cage, so that I don't need 86 mechanisms anymore, nor waiting for the whole to be linked to the drowning-time lever ...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Repseki on August 31, 2013, 03:55:31 pm
Over the last year I started getting a few dwarves complaining about clothes wearing away and lack of cover. Thinking I just fell a little behind on my production I quickly pumped out some new clothes with whatever cloth I had laying around and even started setting up a silk farm.

A season or so later I now have five dwarves about to lose it, a few more working their way down and a significantly lower number of ecstatic dwarves than I usually see milling about. Thinking it was odd, I investigate what is happening to the clothes I keep pumping out in hopes of avoiding a full spiral.

As I look around I notice the feeder stockpiles from my first quantum dump were full, and not being tossed into the minecart. Wondering what was up with that I check the Routes menu and see that the cart is 100% full. I then check the stop again, only to see that there isn't actually a trackstop anymore.

So yeah. In the minecart there were about 30 sets of clothing, every misc random stone I haven't had use for and a whole lot of random stuff. I'm pretty sure most of my fort rushed the stockpile the second it dumped, and have a feeling someone is going to step on a baby or something and push things over the edge...

I have absolutely not clue how the trackstop ever got dismantled, but yeah.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on August 31, 2013, 04:12:06 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on August 30, 2013, 04:52:24 pm
Quote from: smjjames on August 29, 2013, 09:38:17 pm
I thought I had aborted the mood, but it came out with an iron door. Kind of makes sense since obsidian has a good deal of iron in it.
Iron is also the first item in the metals file, and the metals file is the first of the inorganic files.

I keep meaning to move some other metal to the first position in the file so I can see if that's why iron is chosen in the absence of the expected base material, but I keep forgetting. Forbidding the base material works for things other than metal -- I've had iron clothing.

I think one of the code-divers commented on this, and the baseline is that iron is indeed chosen because it's the first inorganic material.

Quote
I've also had a mood stall and fail, but I'm not sure if that was caused by forbidding everything or forbidding bone.

That's what happens when all mood-claimed items are forbidden after work has started, afaik. The dwarf has nothing to work on and can't return to 'collect items' mode, so keeps on working on nothing until the timer runs out and they go insane. Easiest to do with early-game or gemcutting moods, which often work with a single raw material item. I haven't experimented much with it, but it seems that an iron artefact will be successfully created as long as _some_ construction materials remain unforbidden.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: itg on September 01, 2013, 06:03:18 am
(http://i.imgur.com/jH6A053.png)

Killed an FB with one shot, even though the shot missed.




Quote from: Larix on August 31, 2013, 04:12:06 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on August 30, 2013, 04:52:24 pm
Quote from: smjjames on August 29, 2013, 09:38:17 pm
I thought I had aborted the mood, but it came out with an iron door. Kind of makes sense since obsidian has a good deal of iron in it.
Iron is also the first item in the metals file, and the metals file is the first of the inorganic files.

I keep meaning to move some other metal to the first position in the file so I can see if that's why iron is chosen in the absence of the expected base material, but I keep forgetting. Forbidding the base material works for things other than metal -- I've had iron clothing.

I think one of the code-divers commented on this, and the baseline is that iron is indeed chosen because it's the first inorganic material.

Quote
I've also had a mood stall and fail, but I'm not sure if that was caused by forbidding everything or forbidding bone.

That's what happens when all mood-claimed items are forbidden after work has started, afaik. The dwarf has nothing to work on and can't return to 'collect items' mode, so keeps on working on nothing until the timer runs out and they go insane. Easiest to do with early-game or gemcutting moods, which often work with a single raw material item. I haven't experimented much with it, but it seems that an iron artefact will be successfully created as long as _some_ construction materials remain unforbidden.

That's what I've observed, too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrCactus on September 01, 2013, 11:14:25 am
A mechanic built the first pump in a magma pump stack on top of himself, knocking him into the magma and killing him
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ShadowHammer on September 01, 2013, 09:16:15 pm
Quote from: ShadowHammer on September 01, 2013, 09:13:44 pm
Well, my first fort died 'cause I had no military. The second fort died 'cause I had no military. Before starting the third fort, I was like, "Hmm. In my other forts, I've only ever needed a military once, and it seems like a lot of work. Should I even bother?" Then I realized why I had only needed a military once.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on September 02, 2013, 01:26:51 pm
Quote from: Larix on August 31, 2013, 04:12:06 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on August 30, 2013, 04:52:24 pm
Quote from: smjjames on August 29, 2013, 09:38:17 pm
I thought I had aborted the mood, but it came out with an iron door. Kind of makes sense since obsidian has a good deal of iron in it.
Iron is also the first item in the metals file, and the metals file is the first of the inorganic files.

I keep meaning to move some other metal to the first position in the file so I can see if that's why iron is chosen in the absence of the expected base material, but I keep forgetting. Forbidding the base material works for things other than metal -- I've had iron clothing.

I think one of the code-divers commented on this, and the baseline is that iron is indeed chosen because it's the first inorganic material.

Quote
I've also had a mood stall and fail, but I'm not sure if that was caused by forbidding everything or forbidding bone.

That's what happens when all mood-claimed items are forbidden after work has started, afaik. The dwarf has nothing to work on and can't return to 'collect items' mode, so keeps on working on nothing until the timer runs out and they go insane. Easiest to do with early-game or gemcutting moods, which often work with a single raw material item. I haven't experimented much with it, but it seems that an iron artefact will be successfully created as long as _some_ construction materials remain unforbidden.

1. If the base material is forbidden while the dwarf is still collecting materials, the result will be an iron artifact (always named after its creator, in my experience)
2. If any other material is forbidden during collection phase, it will be replaced with no other change to the resulting artifact
3. If any materials are forbidden after construction of the artifact has begun, the mood fails instantly
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on September 02, 2013, 03:17:27 pm
a legendary miner and a spider to cage a fire breathing serpent...

i'm not sure if it's worth it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on September 02, 2013, 05:01:07 pm
Quote from: Drazinononda on September 02, 2013, 01:26:51 pm
1. If the base material is forbidden while the dwarf is still collecting materials, the result will be an iron artifact (always named after its creator, in my experience)

3. If any materials are forbidden after construction of the artifact has begun, the mood fails instantly
Not in my experience -- if you forbid a base material while the dwarf is still gathering stuff, they'll go and grab something else for the base. Assuming a multi-item mood, if you forbid the base material after construction starts then it'll be replaced with iron. If you instead forbid any other material, it'll simply be left out of the resulting artifact. It's a good way to save on yarn and other items you might not be able to replace in time for the next mood, and will cut down on artifact value if you care about such things.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: skibble on September 02, 2013, 09:17:55 pm
just had a Migrant wave.

Went from 20 dwarfs to 79.
30 of the arrivals were children.

GAH
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on September 03, 2013, 01:36:59 am
If you assign the mooded dwarf to a burrow that doesn't contain the claimed workshop while he's gathering materials, he will keep collecting materials for the artifact until he runs out or is removed from the burrow.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on September 03, 2013, 02:55:51 am
Quote from: Drazinononda on September 02, 2013, 01:26:51 pm
3. If any materials are forbidden after construction of the artifact has begun, the mood fails instantly

If by "mood fails instantly" you mean "dwarf goes insane on the spot", i don't know which version you're playing, because this absolutely doesn't happen when you forbid items or even the workshop after construction has begun. The dwarf just continues 'works furiously' or whatever, presumably until the normal 'wait for resolution' time is up; i didn't have the patience to wait that long at 20 fps.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on September 03, 2013, 09:16:00 am
Can you guys take the dwarf mood discussion to another thread? It's kinda off topic.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Merendel on September 03, 2013, 08:20:13 pm
Sigh got a new one.  During the year 255 of armok the brave dwarven group "The Tender Sacks" set off from the mountain homes of "Thin ashen rags" to found the fortress of "Pantcrabs".  These truely brave, or crazy, souls set out with naught but a single pick to carve a fortress out of the terifying glacier in the far north.

Agianst all odds they survived the first year, first by butchering their pack animals, they took a couple killings before they stayed dead long enough to wall off their remains.  Finaly they breached the aquifer and managed to get down to the caverns to forage for much needed supplies.  Over time more migrants arrived, and a busteling underground farm was established.  A caravan brought a much needed anvil and a metal industry was beging to be carved out of the deep earth.  Then disaster struck.  Our brave founders of the fort, who had somehow still survived had the last scraps of their clothing rot away.  Because the ever bumbeling oversear neglected to setup a textiles industry, instead alocating all the pigtails to booze production, much junk was on display and a tantrum spiral to end all spirals kicked off.

Note I didnt fiddle with the names on that fort at all.  That was all the name generator.  I swear the game must have known exactly how I was going to screw up that fort.  with so much else that could go wrong on a single pick challange and I forgot to take care of keeping clothing on the dwarves :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on September 03, 2013, 09:25:32 pm
"The ashen rags" were probably the cause of "the tender sacks" getting "pantcrabs." That was doomed from the start man.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: wer6 on September 04, 2013, 05:41:19 pm
My squad of hammerpeeps and macepeeps charged into the gobies, only to get turned into pulp by the warlocks behind them, It was so bullshit that three warlocks were behind them at that exact moment, one necromated them and now i have A army of the back door and I have nothing to repel them, Fuuuu....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xcano on September 04, 2013, 07:52:39 pm
Oh crap! A Forgotten Beast? Better send all my wrestlers after it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pinstar on September 05, 2013, 04:48:07 pm
This is a self-inflicted one.

Embark in a cold climate, ground is snowy. Build a few outdoor workshops to get some early goods made while my miners dig out a proper fortress. I just let the finished goods pile up at the workshops, while I waited for the future location of my finished goods stockpile to be dug out. (Yeah I know that slows them down, but I wasn't cranking out a ton of goods, just some early beds, doors, tables chairs etc)

It finally hits late summer and the snow begins to melt and I realize to my horror that I've built half of my outdoor workshops on top of frozen murkey pools. I don't get a chance to deconstruct them and move the finished goods off before they all get dumped into the drink.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: oldark on September 06, 2013, 09:47:18 am
Was running out of harddrive space so my solution was to disable automatic backups of my fortress.  Crashed within a year.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: IronTomato on September 06, 2013, 10:00:31 am
Quote from: skibble on September 02, 2013, 09:17:55 pm
just had a Migrant wave.

Went from 20 dwarfs to 79.
30 of the arrivals were children.

GAH
I've gotten migrant tsunamis tipping the scales at 90 dwarves. Don't feel bad.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on September 06, 2013, 10:06:00 am
Minor facepalm. After I embarked on a new fort, I realized i had allocated novice organizer, appraiser, and recordkeeper to two dwarves by accident. Oh well, I selected the one that I actually wanted and the other guy can be the backup in case one dies or something.

Quote from: IronTomato on September 06, 2013, 10:00:31 am
Quote from: skibble on September 02, 2013, 09:17:55 pm
just had a Migrant wave.

Went from 20 dwarfs to 79.
30 of the arrivals were children.

GAH
I've gotten migrant tsunamis tipping the scales at 90 dwarves. Don't feel bad.

90!? Ouch, and even just saying ouch is probably understating it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shadenight123 on September 06, 2013, 01:51:29 pm
amateurs.

Get really unlucky, and you can go from 26 to 157 in one. single. freaking. wave. Their children, their brothers, their sisters...damn, it's like a tsunami of kids.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jcochran on September 06, 2013, 03:24:30 pm
Quote from: shadenight123 on September 06, 2013, 01:51:29 pm
amateurs.

Get really unlucky, and you can go from 26 to 157 in one. single. freaking. wave. Their children, their brothers, their sisters...damn, it's like a tsunami of kids.
Sounds like an ideal time for an unfortunate accident....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ranger22550 on September 06, 2013, 04:35:34 pm
sending the untrained new recruits after a fb while the axe lords went to train. found out when my dwarfs training were breaking bones and my fb squad vanished. messed up the orders so my injured axe lords went to kill the fb without further scratches. there just now pissed their kids got om-nommed
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RLS0812 on September 07, 2013, 06:53:33 am
I was digging a large tunnel to divert the nearby river, and accidentally ran into the tunnels I had going down into the cave systems I had discovered.
 Now I am flooding the caves with no way to stop the water  :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jcochran on September 07, 2013, 03:37:52 pm
Quote from: RLS0812 on September 07, 2013, 06:53:33 am
I was digging a large tunnel to divert the nearby river, and accidentally ran into the tunnels I had going down into the cave systems I had discovered.
 Now I am flooding the caves with no way to stop the water  :-[
If you have access under the river upstream of the breach, just did a tunnel a few zlevels below the river to the map edge, smooth and carve into fortification, then put in some flood gates. Once all that's done, open the flood gates and tap into the river with your new drain. Should be able to handle enough water to lower the level low enough for you patch your accidental breach. When finished, close the floodgates and abandon in place. Not as pretty as not having made a mistake, but it works.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on September 07, 2013, 10:12:39 pm
Kind of both a facepalm and a wtf moment. I was trying to kind of reset the military by having them drop their armor by removing it from uniform for whatever reason, then suddenly two dwarves started sparring in what seems to have been an attempted wrestling session when one of them bit the other guys hand as the first move and then throws him so hard with his teeth that the other dwarf's ribs break and shred his heart and bled to death right there.

uhhh..... *savescums back 3 days to the beginning of summer* lol
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on September 07, 2013, 10:33:20 pm
There's no such thing as a sparring throw in DF.

Edit: Did you get the 'killed somebody by accident while sparring recently' thought from it?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on September 07, 2013, 11:03:04 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on September 07, 2013, 10:33:20 pm
There's no such thing as a sparring throw in DF.

Edit: Did you get the 'killed somebody by accident while sparring recently' thought from it?

Nope, which was strange and in fact that's what I went to look for in DT and while that wasn't there, I did see a 'lost ___ to tragedy recently' for a few dwarves.

It was a strange event overall, right outta nowhere. Actually, I'm not 100% sure if it started with a sparring session and it looked like a random attack. In hindsight, I probably could have checked the justice screen to see if anybody was being accused of murder.

Edit: Checked the dorfs in the squads and no grudges, also I had tried to have both squads use the same armor stand for the barracks, but it didn't look like both squads would train using one armor stand, so I made another barracks room instead.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jarnis on September 08, 2013, 02:32:04 am
So I was happily building a waterfall through the center of my central spiral ramp, working my way down channeling holes and applying grates to every level.

At the bottom, to prevent water littering the floor when it finally impacts the bottom, I decided to build three level deep cistern, with the bottom floor being the roof of the first cavern level, above a large cavern lake (which was walled off - I had about 70% of the cavern area safely walled and being utilized for farming & pastures).

So I just channeled down and then expanded to channeling a 5x5 area, with two miners working. At the bottom I punched a "service tunnel" off to north (to be walled when construction is complete) and a runoff tunnel to the east, towards grates that would drain the water to the cavern below. All fairly simple stuff.

I had an inkling of doubt in my mind "excavating large multi-story spaces... channeling... danger Will Robinson, danger..." but I didn't see it coming. Having already cleaned out the bottom part, I made a little mistake designating the floors above for removal and...

COLLAPSE. Two squares of floor ended up without support, went down and both miners got caught in the blast. That's gotta hurt.

/facepalm

COLLAPSE. Two holes opened to the bottom floor as the collapse went through the floor of the cistern and the miners fell 4 z-levels to the cavern below. One of them actually landed on land and lived(!) with fairly minor injuries. The other guy wasn't so lucky - fell into the drink, stunned and drowned (a legendary miner, naturally).

/double facepalm

I now had a corpse and an injured dwarf in the walled-off section of the cavern that also contained a Forgotten Beast that had wandered in earlier.

another /double facepalm

A bit of emergency mining and the poor guy limped out of the danger zone to the hospital to be Professionally Patched Up(tm) and the military got to the scene just in time to contain the FB. Luckily it was a pushover and didn't get any hits with the poisonous sting. Left the guys covered in some icky stuff tho, but I soon had a fort-wide "shower" across the middle to clean up any residuals so no harm done.

Not sure why nobody went for the corpse of the dead miner (there was even a coffin labeled for him) so I also engraved a slab for safety. Casualty #6 for the fort (#5 was a guy who somehow got run over by a minecart that is set up on the central spiral and #1-4 were casualties from an early goblin siege)

Next stop; Digging deeper! I need some flux stone...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PetWolverine on September 11, 2013, 04:04:50 pm
I decided my current fort's military is tricked out enough to handle a siege for sport and practice, rather than leaving it to the dodge-me trap. My fort has three entrances: One is the dodge-me trap, one is for easy access below the trap for cleanup, and the third is a wide entrance for wagons. I closed off the cleanup entrance, activated an alert, and positioned marksdwarves at the wagon entrance, figuring the dodge-me trap could protect itself.

I watched my marksdwarves pick off a squad of goblins and then a squad of trolls. A few of the enemies had gotten close, so I checked my status screen to see if my dwarf count had gone down. I'd lost a dwarf! So I kept it paused and started looking through combat logs. Marksdwarf fires a bolt, gobbo swings and misses, "it  the clothier in the leg" - what?

Zoom! Looked like a dwarf had fallen from the dodge-me trap and is headed up. Unlikely to make it. Well, one dwarf, not too bad. But where was the death? I found that in the combat log, too - on the bridge with the dodge-me trap. Okay, so a couple dwarves got stuck outside when I closed the fast way in, and they tangled with goblins taking the long way in. I unpaused and noticed several dwarves running on the dodge-me bridge - the wrong way.

So I'd lose a few idiots, right? No, not a few. They kept coming. As I watched in horror, dwarf after dwarf ran up, out of the fortress, across the traps, and into the waiting arms of goblin lashers. My military was bored and unharmed at the wide-open doorway below while two dozen were dead and more were injured, locked out, or headed out the door on suicide missions. I double-checked my alert burrow, but it was configured sanely. I looked at the dwarves to see what they were up to, and every single one of them had "No Job" as they ran to their deaths.

I facepalmed, then I raged and yelled at the dwarves, because that always helps, and then I savescummed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: black47 on September 12, 2013, 12:28:03 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on September 07, 2013, 10:33:20 pm
There's no such thing as a sparring throw in DF.
Maybe the wiki is outdated? it says there is  :-\ http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2012:Training#Injury

And if I remember correctly, I once had a dodge in a sparring session that ended in death just because of passers-by. Maybe it was that.

Quote from: shadenight123 on September 06, 2013, 01:51:29 pm

amateurs.

Get really unlucky, and you can go from 26 to 157 in one. single. freaking. wave. Their children, their brothers, their sisters...damn, it's like a tsunami of kids.

amateur
A tsunami of water will solve your tsunami of kids in no time.  8)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on September 12, 2013, 12:41:23 pm
Quote from: black47 on September 12, 2013, 12:28:03 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on September 07, 2013, 10:33:20 pm
There's no such thing as a sparring throw in DF.
Maybe the wiki is outdated? it says there is  :-\ http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2012:Training#Injury

And if I remember correctly, I once had a dodge in a sparring session that ended in death just because of passers-by. Maybe it was that.

I didn't see the bad thought related to sparring accidents and I'm not even sure how to replicate it and I can't replicate the exact conditions because the dwarves skills have increased since.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on September 12, 2013, 07:54:31 pm
Quote from: black47 on September 12, 2013, 12:28:03 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on September 07, 2013, 10:33:20 pm
There's no such thing as a sparring throw in DF.
Maybe the wiki is outdated? it says there is  :-\ http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2012:Training#Injury
Most attacks made during sparring show up in the sparring reports and do nothing but lightly tap the target body part, or take hold of it and immediately release it. Throws, however, appear in the combat reports and do the same amount of damage they would do in live combat.

In 40d, dwarves would spar as though fighting an enemy, which necessitated the use of low-powered weapons for sparring (and even then, a neck or spine injury would stop a dwarf from sparring forever). In .31, this was changed to the 'light tapping' system and sparring was made completely safe. In whichever update allowed damage from falling objects, creatures started being able to take damage from skidding along the ground, and no exception was made for sparring dwarves.

In short, while dwarves will attack generally and also throw each other while sparring, the throws are not made with the same restraint as the rest of the attacks and act as though the dwarf was fighting for real.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mcbucko on September 13, 2013, 03:59:54 am
The first death I had in my new fort didn't come from animals, goblins, or industrial accidents. I have a vampire.

Well after poking around in my citizen's thoughts, I found the bloodsucker. He's my best hunter and head of my crossbow squad. Oh ffs.

I think I might just have to put up with his shenanigans because of how useful he is.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: reality.auditor on September 13, 2013, 06:43:11 am
Quote from: mcbucko on September 13, 2013, 03:59:54 am
The first death I had in my new fort didn't come from animals, goblins, or industrial accidents. I have a vampire.

Well after poking around in my citizen's thoughts, I found the bloodsucker. He's my best hunter and head of my crossbow squad. Oh ffs.

I think I might just have to put up with his shenanigans because of how useful he is.
You will change your mind when he sucks dry all your legendary smithes. Vampires seems to consider blood of skilled dwarfs more tasty.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on September 13, 2013, 03:58:31 pm
not worth it. atomsmash him and train new marksdwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on September 13, 2013, 04:00:03 pm
A 100z drop should do nicely, you want to recover his stuff after all.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: the1337doofus on September 13, 2013, 11:02:25 pm
Had a pony show up as "opposed to life" today during a migrant wave, had a soldier kill him. That was an oopsie. 5 dwarfbucks to the fella who guesses what happened next.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: warwizard on September 14, 2013, 02:03:00 am
loyalty cascade.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on September 14, 2013, 02:41:11 am
The soldier got his or her head kicked in?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: the1337doofus on September 14, 2013, 10:25:07 am
Quote from: warwizard on September 14, 2013, 02:03:00 am
loyalty cascade.

5 DWARFBUCKS TO THIS GOOD MAN!

And it wasn't just a loyalty cascade. It was a full on Failcannon. We should make that a verb for when someone pulls a massive loyalty cascade.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: callisto8413 on September 14, 2013, 08:01:22 pm
I once started a settlement right next to a volcano.  I had everything set up.  Dig right into it, set up the kitchen, farms, bedrooms, and workshops.  The magma had been channeled to where I wanted it, at the cost of a brave (but not very fast running) engraver.  I started to set up the magma smelters and everything was going well.  I was set up for life!  Never ending energy for producing metal weapons and tools.  A untouched landscape.  Dwarfs ready to start digging deep into the earth.  Everything was going great!

Than the Dwarfs started to tantrum and die. 

I have forgotten to make a still. 

 :'(

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: callisto8413 on September 14, 2013, 08:03:02 pm
Quote from: mcbucko on September 13, 2013, 03:59:54 am
The first death I had in my new fort didn't come from animals, goblins, or industrial accidents. I have a vampire.

Well after poking around in my citizen's thoughts, I found the bloodsucker. He's my best hunter and head of my crossbow squad. Oh ffs.

I think I might just have to put up with his shenanigans because of how useful he is.

I have two vampires in my current fortress.  Both have been walled up into nice three room apartments.  One is the book keeper.  One is the manager.  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: black47 on September 15, 2013, 10:49:26 pm
So.. I'm pretty happy that after world gen I've found a volcano acting as bridge between two sides of a lake, perfect mix of magma and water for what I want from an embark.

Pretty happy, until I see what's the name of the only living dwarven civ:

http://img577.imageshack.us/img577/9180/41yi.jpg
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on September 16, 2013, 02:55:57 am
Quote from: black47 on September 15, 2013, 10:49:26 pm
So.. I'm pretty happy that after world gen I've found a volcano acting as bridge between two sides of a lake, perfect mix of magma and water for what I want from an embark.

Pretty happy, until I see what's the name of the only living dwarven civ:

http://img577.imageshack.us/img577/9180/41yi.jpg

Well, if that's how dwarves roll, no wonder there's only one civilisation! :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WanderingKid on September 16, 2013, 04:34:49 am
It seems... a simple evolution of logic in retrospect.

First, you build a rediculously complex system that hurls corpses at walls via minecart to fall in pieces into lava.

Next, you design a system with no inherent defenses other than hurtling minecarts to fill said previous system.

Finally, as an access to dump the magma, you drill a hole in the ceiling of the exploding corpse system right where the corpses explode... and don't put in grates.

*ARGH*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: derpindave on September 16, 2013, 11:40:18 am
Quote from: WanderingKid on September 16, 2013, 04:34:49 am
It seems... a simple evolution of logic in retrospect.

First, you build a rediculously complex system that hurls corpses at walls via minecart to fall in pieces into lava.

Next, you design a system with no inherent defenses other than hurtling minecarts to fill said previous system.

Finally, as an access to dump the magma, you drill a hole in the ceiling of the exploding corpse system right where the corpses explode... and don't put in grates.

*ARGH*

Haha, was just reading you're thread on this minutes ago XD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Icefire2314 on September 16, 2013, 12:42:03 pm
Actually got a decent randomly generated Fortress name, Defenseworks, Nirmekducim (playing Genesis mod)

of course, the Groups name... The Wet merchants...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist MacNoob on September 16, 2013, 01:16:38 pm
My new fortress's name is Fortressball. Geshubiban, if I'm not mistaken.

Also, the group inhabiting it is called The Bodices of Breaching.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yoink on September 17, 2013, 06:55:00 am
Forgot that dwarves couldn't open grates. Built one at the entrance of an under-construction cave. Trapped all the workers. >.<

Also, fortress name is Decentpaints. Group's called the Flaxen Roads.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cuddles on September 17, 2013, 10:43:23 am
Quote from: the1337doofus on September 14, 2013, 10:25:07 am
Quote from: warwizard on September 14, 2013, 02:03:00 am
loyalty cascade.

5 DWARFBUCKS TO THIS GOOD MAN!

And it wasn't just a loyalty cascade. It was a full on Failcannon. We should make that a verb for when someone pulls a massive loyalty cascade.

erm why not slaughter it?
thats what I do with all the spare animals that show up. mmmmmmmm, meat...
just wish I could slaughter immigrants








yeah that doesn't sound good does it
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snaake on September 17, 2013, 10:56:51 am
Quote from: Cuddles on September 17, 2013, 10:43:23 am
...
erm why not slaughter it?
thats what I do with all the spare animals that show up. mmmmmmmm, meat...
just wish I could slaughter immigrants
...

It's a my little pony mod, where you play ponies. You can't get vampire livestock, or ponies for that matter (just horses/foals, donkeys/foals, and mules for equines), in vanilla.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cuddles on September 17, 2013, 01:58:28 pm
Quote from: Snaake on September 17, 2013, 10:56:51 am
Quote from: Cuddles on September 17, 2013, 10:43:23 am
...
erm why not slaughter it?
thats what I do with all the spare animals that show up. mmmmmmmm, meat...
just wish I could slaughter immigrants
...

It's a my little pony mod, where you play ponies. You can't get vampire livestock, or ponies for that matter (just horses/foals, donkeys/foals, and mules for equines), in vanilla.

ah my bad
I was a bit confused. I haven't seen more than one or two vampires before and I just put them in a burrow and pumped some magma into it when I found them. me no likey vampires.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: the1337doofus on September 17, 2013, 01:58:51 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

FUCK

The palm exits through the back of the skull, bruising the brain!


the1337doofus has been struck down
Bakerbreads has crumbled.....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on September 17, 2013, 02:14:53 pm
Oh, I HATE when that happens. Hours of meticulous fortress planning, right out the window!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cuddles on September 17, 2013, 04:46:20 pm
to be fair that's why I use scout tunnels before I make big constructions.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snaake on September 18, 2013, 08:45:45 am
Hm? That seems to require all of 2 tiles of wall to be constructed for a safe area. And the right-most designation that pierced the caverns was just a big hall anyway, at least the cavern pierce didn't happen with the bedrooms(?) on the left. On the other hand, I do emphathize, I'm a bit OCD about not digging out any more than needed (and using just the materials I want etc), but I'd probably be able to adapt to this one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Morgorin on September 18, 2013, 10:10:34 am
This entire fortress, atm:

Modded - added in Celts as a playable race.  Made them babysnatchers, why not?  Looking through nobles list for the civ; both known nobles are goblins.  -_-  Time to go to war with my own civ!

Civ name is the Ordered Indignation.  RNG got "Slopstrength" for the fortress name.  I named the group Battleaged the Charcoal Destiny of Dragons (don't judge).  There seems to be a definite disparity. 

Artifact: Queensparkle the Nose of Ambiguity.  It is an alder bed.  It menaces with spikes of alder and birch.  WHO MADE THE SPIKEY BED?!?!

EDIT:
Also, on embark, there were tame trolls for 1 a piece.  I brought a bunch, they make excellent security guards!  They apparently like to party, though, and can be assigned to burrows. 

2nd EDIT:
I was planning on ambushing the caravan and taking everything, but they brought 5 wagons!  I don't think I have room for all that crap.  The fortress is extremely self-sufficient.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: the1337doofus on September 18, 2013, 06:44:54 pm
Quote from: Snaake on September 18, 2013, 08:45:45 am
Hm? That seems to require all of 2 tiles of wall to be constructed for a safe area. And the right-most designation that pierced the caverns was just a big hall anyway, at least the cavern pierce didn't happen with the bedrooms(?) on the left. On the other hand, I do emphathize, I'm a bit OCD about not digging out any more than needed (and using just the materials I want etc), but I'd probably be able to adapt to this one.

I was more pissed about the fact that I had to dig out another big ass room for my stockpile than the cavern breaching. Unfortunately, I forgot to seal the breach and a family of ogres got in (how, I have no idea. I could swear that there wasn't a way up into the fortress proper) and slaughtered the lot of my dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Repseki on September 19, 2013, 08:15:59 pm
Sent a few of my small Sword squads out to kill some critters while some trees were cut and gathered like I had done many times before. Knowing they were plenty skilled enough to take care of themselves I focused on finally getting them some real armor.

A few minutes later I was slightly puzzled by an announcement that I had discovered the Magma Sea, and a number of different minerals/gems that were down in the magma. Then I got the announcement that one of my Armorsmith's masterpieces had been lost forever, and immediately knew what had happened.

One of the first items the smith had made was a Masterpiece Steel Round Shield. I quickly gave it to my Commander, thinking he would likely put it to good use.

He of course then jumped into the Magma Tube when dodging the first attack from a random creature. I really should have walled around that thing earlier...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on September 20, 2013, 11:11:30 am
Quote from: Repseki on September 19, 2013, 08:15:59 pm
Sent a few of my small Sword squads out to kill some critters while some trees were cut and gathered like I had done many times before. Knowing they were plenty skilled enough to take care of themselves I focused on finally getting them some real armor.

A few minutes later I was slightly puzzled by an announcement that I had discovered the Magma Sea, and a number of different minerals/gems that were down in the magma. Then I got the announcement that one of my Armorsmith's masterpieces had been lost forever, and immediately knew what had happened.

One of the first items the smith had made was a Masterpiece Steel Round Shield. I quickly gave it to my Commander, thinking he would likely put it to good use.

He of course then jumped into the Magma Tube when dodging the first attack from a random creature. I really should have walled around that thing earlier...

The first rule of Magma Tubes is to wall them off.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snaake on September 20, 2013, 03:10:58 pm
I'm more perplexed that a) you had steel that early (then again, you do have a magma tube), b) decided to use it on making a shield with only a proficient armorsmith (ok fine, if it was a 10+ armorsmith from a migrant wave...), especially since shield material doesn't matter at all, and c) actually got a masterwork out of a proficient armorsmith (see above, if he was above proficient).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on September 20, 2013, 03:36:30 pm
Designated a vast area to be channeled instead of mined.

The head strikes the desk in the top, shattering the wood!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Valikdu on September 23, 2013, 04:09:18 am
Quote from: Urist MacNoob on September 16, 2013, 01:16:38 pm
My new fortress's name is Fortressball
Dwarves cannot into space?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist MacNoob on September 23, 2013, 04:51:15 pm
Quote from: Valikdu on September 23, 2013, 04:09:18 am
Quote from: Urist MacNoob on September 16, 2013, 01:16:38 pm
My new fortress's name is Fortressball
Dwarves cannot into space?

I have the creeping suspicion that Armok and Subil, god of chaos and war, will pick up my fortress and start playing basket-dwarf with it.

That would be glorious. Yes, yes, glorious indeed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mirrizin on September 23, 2013, 08:13:15 pm
See a dehydrated, hungry engraver in an underground construction site. Think, "Surely, there's an exit. I know I left one..."

Check, and indeed, there was no exit. The exit he could've taken had been channeled out and would require scaling several z levels of smoothed and engraved walls.

So, send a miner down to dig one out, and finally the miner gets there (it's quite a trek.) Check later and said dwarf, having had to hunt for rats, finally reaches the dining room...

...and dies of dehydration while eating.

Le sigh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cuddles on September 24, 2013, 11:56:04 am
I kinda wish that building a floor on an up/down staircase tile only removed the down stairs. makes sense and prevents me from killing my goddamn masons when I want to floor off a dangerous section... sigh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JAFANZ on September 24, 2013, 01:10:21 pm
Can't you achieve that by building an up stair instead? I could've sworn they blocked off access from below.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: the1337doofus on September 24, 2013, 01:38:11 pm
Embarked in an evil biome. It immediately rained knock-out sludge. Falcon corpse decided it would have dwarf for dinner.

The palm enters the skull, bruising the brain!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cuddles on September 24, 2013, 01:58:02 pm
Quote from: JAFANZ on September 24, 2013, 01:10:21 pm
Can't you achieve that by building an up stair instead? I could've sworn they blocked off access from below.

problem is I don't have any miners below, just a mason. so there's just an empty floor and a dead mason after a little while.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JAFANZ on September 24, 2013, 02:01:59 pm
Quote from: Cuddles on September 24, 2013, 01:58:02 pm
Quote from: JAFANZ on September 24, 2013, 01:10:21 pm
Can't you achieve that by building an up stair instead? I could've sworn they blocked off access from below.

problem is I don't have any miners below, just a mason. so there's just an empty floor and a dead mason after a little while.
I realise it doesn't help with your current or past problems, but what I meant was, if in future you build an up-stair instead of a floor, you should still block of whatever is below, & not trap anyone.

Unless I have misremembered & the up-stair doesn't block the hole.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cuddles on September 24, 2013, 02:14:47 pm
Quote from: JAFANZ on September 24, 2013, 02:01:59 pm
Quote from: Cuddles on September 24, 2013, 01:58:02 pm
Quote from: JAFANZ on September 24, 2013, 01:10:21 pm
Can't you achieve that by building an up stair instead? I could've sworn they blocked off access from below.

problem is I don't have any miners below, just a mason. so there's just an empty floor and a dead mason after a little while.
I realise it doesn't help with your current or past problems, but what I meant was, if in future you build an up-stair instead of a floor, you should still block of whatever is below, & not trap anyone.

Unless I have misremembered & the up-stair doesn't block the hole.

OHHHH. That makes a ton of sense. Do up-stairs override a up/down stair? I almost never use up-stairs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JAFANZ on September 24, 2013, 02:46:54 pm
(not quoting 'cos it takes up too much space)
I believe any constructed stairs override carved ones, but may be mistaken as I don't use up/down but rather adjacent up & down (that way if Urist McDoesntBounce gets knocked down them somehow, he only falls 1 level, & yes this does make paths that little bit longer).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on September 26, 2013, 07:31:12 pm
I pitted a semi-wild dragon into the cavern layer to have it fight a FB and to test out what syndrome it gave (apparently just nausea), then it reverted to wild state and expecting it to trigger the cage traps I had placed in the entrance to the cavern level, I had a dwarf remove the wall blocking the entrance.

As expected, it pathed into the fortress, but what I did not expect was for it to suddendly gain trapavoid somehow. Anyway, I sent my military after it and they quickly killed it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on September 26, 2013, 07:39:36 pm
Any creature that has at one point been part of your faction remembers where all the traps are.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on September 26, 2013, 07:59:42 pm
Quote from: HugoLuman on September 26, 2013, 07:39:36 pm
Any creature that has at one point been part of your faction remembers where all the traps are.

Oh that would explain it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mirrizin on September 26, 2013, 08:19:42 pm
Cunning beastie.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Icefire2314 on September 28, 2013, 03:39:50 pm
Very nearly going to the circus with only 13 dwarves on reclaim.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tarqiup Inua on September 28, 2013, 05:50:49 pm
...new Fortress site (somehow I seldom rule one place for too long)...

...first year, everything is going fine, I started making some wooden shields and told my smith to make several copper picks...

...then the Giant Kea came.

So - first I told my military dwarf to grab equipment (masterwork wooden shield and copper helmet and spear)... the Giant Kea decided to be bit more bold after I did that and got closer to my dwarves - it killed one dwarf... what a coincidence! It was my military dwarf running for gear!

Then I decided to draft another dwarf. He grabbed a shield and decided rest of equipment can wait - and started hauling a barrel somewhere. Then the kea stole another masterwork shield, my carpenter got angry because his masterpiece was lost and killed mayor in subsequent meeting, which started a tantrum spiral... seriously... 10 dwarves and I abandon it because tantrum spiral, that's surreal. :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Icefire2314 on September 28, 2013, 07:11:25 pm
Quote from: Tarqiup Inua on September 28, 2013, 05:50:49 pm
...new Fortress site (somehow I seldom rule one place for too long)...

...first year, everything is going fine, I started making some wooden shields and told my smith to make several copper picks...

...then the Giant Kea came.

So - first I told my military dwarf to grab equipment (masterwork wooden shield and copper helmet and spear)... the Giant Kea decided to be bit more bold after I did that and got closer to my dwarves - it killed one dwarf... what a coincidence! It was my military dwarf running for gear!

Then I decided to draft another dwarf. He grabbed a shield and decided rest of equipment can wait - and started hauling a barrel somewhere. Then the kea stole another masterwork shield, my carpenter got angry because his masterpiece was lost and killed mayor in subsequent meeting, which started a tantrum spiral... seriously... 10 dwarves and I abandon it because tantrum spiral, that's surreal. :-\

http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2012:King_of_beasts

Second one down, will answer all your questions :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LoneChipmunk on September 28, 2013, 07:51:42 pm
Built a bridge to what will be my barracks and training room.
Set up lever, and link it to said bridge.
To test it, I have someone pull it.
Mechanic pulls lever, turns the corner, steps on the bridge, and POOF. Bridge raises, and now I need a new mechanic.

Later on, I pull the lever again, lowering the drawbrige. I didn't know a DAS worked when raising as well as lowering. I expected that guy to go flying, not poof.

RIP 'Mechanic' Udisterib, Farmer
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jonanlsh on September 29, 2013, 07:07:51 am
Quote from: LoneChipmunk on September 28, 2013, 07:51:42 pm
Built a bridge to what will be my barracks and training room.
Set up lever, and link it to said bridge.
To test it, I have someone pull it.
Mechanic pulls lever, turns the corner, steps on the bridge, and POOF. Bridge raises, and now I need a new mechanic.

Later on, I pull the lever again, lowering the drawbrige. I didn't know a DAS worked when raising as well as lowering. I expected that guy to go flying, not poof.

RIP 'Mechanic' Udisterib, Farmer

if i had a penny for every time someone facepalmed due to a DAS incident, i'd be able to fund Toady for an entire year.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ticky on September 29, 2013, 12:08:19 pm
Oh, I've had so many, since I'm new to this game, but one that happened recently was funny.

I was trying to make a graveyard outside my fort, and I was wondering why my dwarves were not hauling corpses to it. The burial labor was checked, all was well. I was starting to get very frustrated. Then I realized that the area I was trying to haul the corpses from was my graveyard....

Literally face palmed myself.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on September 30, 2013, 02:59:43 am
Found me a nice spot where two rivers met, with moderate cliffs shown pre-embark, with lots of metals, clay, warm-to-hot climate. While painting the restricted traffic zones around the lip of the waterfall (and onto the riverbed), i spied a dark green "A" in the river. Checked the relation to the wagon and yes, the alligator started out practically underneath it.

I tried to get the party away from the wagon double quick by specifying jobs for absolutely everyone before unpausing, but the damn beast still shot out of the water like a jack-in-the box and slaughtered two of my dwarfs (and a dog, too). I would have loved to take revenge, but didn't trust my ability to get miners and woodcutters to use weapons instead of wrestling...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on September 30, 2013, 08:59:30 am
Quote from: Cuddles on September 24, 2013, 01:58:02 pm
Quote from: JAFANZ on September 24, 2013, 01:10:21 pm
Can't you achieve that by building an up stair instead? I could've sworn they blocked off access from below.
problem is I don't have any miners below, just a mason. so there's just an empty floor and a dead mason after a little while.
As mentioned, up stairs come with an in-built floor.

Not sure if it would have helped with that situation, but you can build your way through a floor. A dwarf trapped underneath can build an up stair, and one of the dwarves above can build a down stair on the floor above the constructed up stair. Once the dwarf below has rejoined the fortress, you can deconstruct the down stair to restore the tile to rock floor.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pinstar on October 05, 2013, 10:04:29 am
Quote from: Larix on September 30, 2013, 02:59:43 am
Found me a nice spot where two rivers met, with moderate cliffs shown pre-embark, with lots of metals, clay, warm-to-hot climate. While painting the restricted traffic zones around the lip of the waterfall (and onto the riverbed), i spied a dark green "A" in the river. Checked the relation to the wagon and yes, the alligator started out practically underneath it.

I tried to get the party away from the wagon double quick by specifying jobs for absolutely everyone before unpausing, but the damn beast still shot out of the water like a jack-in-the box and slaughtered two of my dwarfs (and a dog, too). I would have loved to take revenge, but didn't trust my ability to get miners and woodcutters to use weapons instead of wrestling...

This wouldn't have been useful right at embark, but having twice as many axes/picks as you intend to have warrior-miners and warrior-woodcutters seems to get around the problem as long as you make them a squad and set picks/axes as their set weapon.

My current favorite embark strategy (the MMMM squad) involves bringing enough ore to smelt 10 bronze picks and having a team of 5/7 of my founders be miners to carve the whole fort out while the other two do economic stuff. Any early threats are delt with by my MMMM squad as bronze picks in the hands of skilled miners are absolutly disgusting against just about anything the game will throw at you early on (Evil biomes notwithstanding)


My current facepalm is that I got a double ambush that hit me and killed 4 dwarfs and injured 4 more RIGHT before i was done setting up my trap defenses (and the nature of the defense meant it didn't work at all until it was 100% complete)

So I finally get the defenses finished and dry-tested (IE no living test subjects) when I'm hit with a siege....that bugs out. Any dwarf I try to send to bait them into coming to my fort proper (and my trap) just gets killed. Here I am wanting to know if my elaborate trap actually works or not!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on October 06, 2013, 09:30:07 am
*sacrificial miner opens up HFS*

*miner dies in flames*

*HFS goes into the dwarven checkerboard*

*pulls magma lever*

*sees magma not doing what it should and realizes that the grates got obsidian floored after the dryrun, dangit! XD *

*hits the die command in DFhack*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Knick on October 06, 2013, 08:36:04 pm
My cistern was running a bit low. I pulled the floodgate lever to refill it.  Then I got distracted by building hall on the surface.  Then I started watching Game of Thrones.

Now there is water welling up from, the, uh, well.  And pouring down the stairs in the fortress.  Naturally, the lever to close the floodgate is flooded.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Proudnerd on October 07, 2013, 02:14:13 pm
Just now made a fort in a haunted area had no experience of Thralls, only reading on the wiki. A cloud came thralled a turkey and it started killing cats and wrestling a carpenter i sent ten dwarves at it no one had any weapons as i had been focusing on getting the fort up and running and had just got he first migrant wave. it broke a bunch of a recruit's fingers two were in extreme pain and i abandoned.

started a new fort literary ten mins ago an alligator was very close to the wagon it tore a farmer's guts out before I even knew what was going on and so I drafted three random dwarves and sent them after it. It bit another soldier in the head killing him and another recruit somehow drowned. I realized that everyone else was very unhappy due to the death and my carpenter had a torn leg and was faint. The alligator has a title and has no wounds whatsoever.

I'm still going to continue on with my four dwarves! Just began digging with my unskilled dwarf since my miner died. Ive never been so thoroughly screwed so early before.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cuddles on October 07, 2013, 04:38:00 pm
I accidentally left my game unpaused for a little while in a volcano embark.
came back, all the water was evaporated, all the alcohol dried up
all my starting 7 plus 7 of the first immigrant wave of 6 died. fort only survived because an immigrant wave came at the exact right moment.

yay i guess?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ElusiveVolvox on October 09, 2013, 01:58:12 am
Not a fatal mistake, but still a facepalm of sorts.

Anyhow, I haven't played DF for a very long time, and even at those times I played it sparingly, but my current fort was going relatively well despite this handicap. They hadn't died of thirst, been killed by zombies, or eaten each other's ears yet, so I was doing very well. However, I started to get a little ahead of myself. I was making loads and loads of masterwork goods, everything from bolts to roasts. And, of course, this meant that a goblin siege would be inevitable.

It took some time, but it came. Before that pivotal event, I had managed to double my military from five marksdwarves to ten, and had procured one master marksdwarf. My resolve was reinforced by the fact that the goblins had neglected to bring archers of their own, although I do admit that the giant lizard their leader was riding looked frightening. I immediately raised the alarm (or as I called it, "Code Kimberlite") and my dwarves came rushing in. So far, the only problem I experienced was the fact that my soldiers were unwilling to raise the drawbridge, but some quick fiddling with the burrow allowed a metalworker to fulfill that crucial role.

With the fort sealed, I parked my squad behind the fortifications, eagerly awaiting the coming slaughter. At last, the enemy came rushing up the hill, and my marksdwarves let loose a tremendous volley. These shots were either blocked, dodged, or missed entirely, but I had plenty of ammunition and an overabundance of confidence. However, I felt myself falter a little when I noticed that the goblins were continuing up the hill, past my main entrance. I had never dug any other entrances to the main fort, so what could they be doing? Were one of my dwarves still trapped outside?

And then I noticed.

It turns out that in my infinite wisdom, I never gave a thought to the more undesirable properties of windows. In particular, their smashability. Now, as it happened, I had installed a two tile long window in my bookkeeper's penthouse, because I decided his personal art gallery needed some light. Just as it began to dawn on me, the goblins had proceeded to smash down that very window. I panicked, but thankfully my momentary indecisiveness did not plague my fort as I had it paused. I ordered my squad to the hallway below the penthouse, and hoped against hope that they could pull something off.

And what'd you know, they did! Their leader, still atop his reptilian mount, was the first to fall, and one after another his cohorts were turned into glorified pincushions. Only a few of my dwarves suffered any injuries, but nothing that has proved fatal. I can only guess that the single stairwell that led to the penthouse had funneled the goblins into a neat little line, presenting the perfect targets for my men dwarves.

So, I made a mistake but managed to fix it (kind of) and managed to learn something important too. Today was a good-ish day.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: the1337doofus on October 09, 2013, 09:47:44 am
> Carved out a pretty nice fortress, going well, it's the second year
> Decide my metal industry needs more gold bearing rock
> Order a large area dug out
> Miner starts carving out a nice little picture in the rock on his own
> That picture leads him to a strange rock
> Metalwraith
> Time for Fun! Yaaaay!
> It gets caught in a cage trap trying to kill the boulder crab I stationed outside to catch kobolds/gobbos/warlocks.
> Out of my 48 dwarves, exactly 5 of them survive.
> Le abandon
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jcochran on October 09, 2013, 05:26:20 pm
Well, just learned that flying creatures can diagonally path through Z levels. Thankfully, the lesson only resulted in 2 deaths.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cuddles on October 12, 2013, 02:06:59 pm
One of my carpenters just decided to sleep in a stairwell.

The stairwell is at 1/7 water and only being kept there by the pump operator as I'm attempting to wall off an aquifer.
My dwarves are pretty fucking stupid.

also I feel really fucking dumb waiting for trees to grow in the absolutely tiny part of my map that contains trees. I just need two more logs...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: wer6 on October 13, 2013, 05:52:38 pm
Quote from: Cuddles on October 12, 2013, 02:06:59 pm
One of my carpenters just decided to sleep in a stairwell.

The stairwell is at 1/7 water and only being kept there by the pump operator as I'm attempting to wall off an aquifer.
My dwarves are pretty fucking stupid.

also I feel really fucking dumb waiting for trees to grow in the absolutely tiny part of my map that contains trees. I just need two more logs...

Have you got clay? if so use that to finish it up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on October 13, 2013, 05:54:09 pm
Quote from: wer6 on October 13, 2013, 05:52:38 pm
Quote from: Cuddles on October 12, 2013, 02:06:59 pm
One of my carpenters just decided to sleep in a stairwell.

The stairwell is at 1/7 water and only being kept there by the pump operator as I'm attempting to wall off an aquifer.
My dwarves are pretty fucking stupid.

also I feel really fucking dumb waiting for trees to grow in the absolutely tiny part of my map that contains trees. I just need two more logs...

Have you got clay? if so use that to finish it up.

He would still need fuel...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: wer6 on October 13, 2013, 05:55:39 pm
Clay requires fuel now? huh, so its been that long since I last used it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on October 13, 2013, 05:59:39 pm
Quote from: wer6 on October 13, 2013, 05:55:39 pm
Clay requires fuel now? huh, so its been that long since I last used it.

All non-magma furnaces require fuel...

Maybe carve off the top of the hill (sounds like you're in mountains, or maybe badlands), then make some blocks out of the rocks from that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drazinononda on October 14, 2013, 12:19:31 am
Quote from: smjjames on October 13, 2013, 05:59:39 pm
Quote from: wer6 on October 13, 2013, 05:55:39 pm
Clay requires fuel now? huh, so its been that long since I last used it.

All non-magma furnaces require fuel...

Maybe carve off the top of the hill (sounds like you're in mountains, or maybe badlands), then make some blocks out of the rocks from that.

... Why not use raw clay boulders? It'll take longer but it will still work.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Erils on October 17, 2013, 02:45:50 am
My most recent faceplam moment,

Probably realizing I just sent a mining group of competent and skilled miners, masons and engravers to a site with lots of soil and an aquifier.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on October 18, 2013, 03:11:12 pm
I have a fort whose primary export is cloth. Just cloth. Rope reeds are the only crop they plant, and it's all for export. Clothing for the population must be made from yarn/silk cloth and leather that was bought or brought in by the hunter-butcher-tanner chain. Oh, and they're not allowed to strike the earth. Predictably, even with no migration past the first year, there was no way to keep everybody clothed normally.

So i drafted all available adults to the military and gave them "replace clothing" armours covering everything. But the children still kept running around in rags, in spite of many sparkling new *leather mittens* and the like in the workshops.

Turns out military with 'replace clothing' armour will still _claim_ ordinary clothes for the uncovered slots, they just won't ever put them on. I think the ownership times out normally, but they keep reclaiming fresh socks and hoods; fortunately, whenever a claim times out, children, woodcutters and hunters get a chance to lay claim before the soldiers re-new their requisitions.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: itg on October 18, 2013, 04:16:06 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/1zajplM.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gentlefish on October 18, 2013, 05:31:56 pm
Can... Can I have that dwarf?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheKaspa on October 19, 2013, 09:17:39 am
Quote
Dwarf is take by fey mood
I checked showmood: good, I have enough copper bars.
A few months later, he dies. I spent a few days to understand why and then I realized I didn't built a forge...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on October 19, 2013, 09:30:30 am
Quote from: TheKaspa on October 19, 2013, 09:17:39 am
Quote
Dwarf is take by fey mood
I checked showmood: good, I have enough copper bars.
A few months later, he dies. I spent a few days to understand why and then I realized I didn't built a forge...

 I had that happen twice in the same fort with a pair of jewelers. I thought "I should build a jeweler's shop so this doesn't happen again." Then I got distracted equipping my soldiers and dark stranglers attacked and I forgot about it completely because I thought I'd had it built. A year later I end up minus another gemworker. Because I forgot to build the workshop I thought I built.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Erils on October 19, 2013, 09:41:11 am
I had a dwarf in a fey mood. He had everything he needed except one piece of cloth. I had no way of producing said cloth at the time, but it was almost time for a trade caravan to arrive. I waited and hoped but nothing came.

My dwarf went insane and became melancholy.

The caravan arrived moments later.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheKaspa on October 19, 2013, 10:49:29 am
Quote from: Erils on October 19, 2013, 09:41:11 am
I had a dwarf in a fey mood. He had everything he needed except one piece of cloth. I had no way of producing said cloth at the time, but it was almost time for a trade caravan to arrive. I waited and hoped but nothing came.

My dwarf went insane and became melancholy.

The caravan arrived moments later.

The second death on GloryAnvils was due to a fey idiotdwarf that wanted leather. Problem was, I had embarked with only ducks and chickenks, dogs hadn't breed yet.
Elves arrived, without leather, of course. He died.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: turrin on October 19, 2013, 05:42:57 pm
I just prepared everything for a Siege : Bridge, fortifications, etc. But after retracting my Bridge, I just realize there were still space on the sides of my bridge, just when the first lasher arrived   :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FuzzyZergling on October 19, 2013, 07:34:25 pm
Quote from: TheKaspa on October 19, 2013, 10:49:29 am
Quote from: Erils on October 19, 2013, 09:41:11 am
I had a dwarf in a fey mood. He had everything he needed except one piece of cloth. I had no way of producing said cloth at the time, but it was almost time for a trade caravan to arrive. I waited and hoped but nothing came.

My dwarf went insane and became melancholy.

The caravan arrived moments later.

The second death on GloryAnvils was due to a fey idiotdwarf that wanted leather. Problem was, I had embarked with only ducks and chickenks, dogs hadn't breed yet.
Elves arrived, without leather, of course. He died.
Did the elves not have animals you could butcher?
Title: A moat should keep us safe.
Post by: draemmli on October 20, 2013, 04:29:05 pm
My current fort is enclosed by two rivers which lead to a 9 Z-levels deep waterfall.
Only one side is open to the map borders.

"Perfect!", I thought, "I should build a moat to keep the (earthbound) nasties out."
And so I did.

Lesson learned: Be careful with water or you'll end up with two drowned miners and a head-shaped dent in your table.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on October 21, 2013, 09:13:59 am
Quote from: FuzzyZergling on October 19, 2013, 07:34:25 pm
Quote from: TheKaspa on October 19, 2013, 10:49:29 am
Quote from: Erils on October 19, 2013, 09:41:11 am
I had a dwarf in a fey mood. He had everything he needed except one piece of cloth. I had no way of producing said cloth at the time, but it was almost time for a trade caravan to arrive. I waited and hoped but nothing came.

My dwarf went insane and became melancholy.

The caravan arrived moments later.

The second death on GloryAnvils was due to a fey idiotdwarf that wanted leather. Problem was, I had embarked with only ducks and chickenks, dogs hadn't breed yet.
Elves arrived, without leather, of course. He died.
Did the elves not have animals you could butcher?

You could have sent your miners or military after some wild animals.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shrike.ex on October 21, 2013, 01:45:31 pm
I had prepared my fortress with an exterior drawbridge and courtyard, with a neighboring training area and barracks. Though the rest of the fortress was only separated from the courtyard by doors, my intent was to include a second drawbridge and moat, so that I could send out my military without endangering my fort itself.

Lucky for my, I got an early titan attack. Whee! Well, I've got lots of marksdwarfs who are just itching for some target practice. The problem is that I haven't installed bait outside the front door, so unless the bridge is down, Mr. Titan doesn't feel like pathing into my firing arcs. "No matter" I think, I'll just let down the bridge. Then I get a great idea. I'll launch the thing. See if I can break its legs or whatever. Brilliant.

I wait for the metal monstrosity to get on the bridge, flip the lever, and watch it go flying. . . right into my courtyard. O.O  See, the courtyard has 2 z-level empty moat, but I hadn't finished the walls yet. The briefly-aerial-and-now-intensely-irritated titan proceeds to utterly wreck my marksdwarves, tear down the door, and mulch what remains of my sad little fort.

Lesson learned. Never teach titans to fly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Togre on October 21, 2013, 02:31:40 pm
I somehow :'( squandered my plump helmet spawn and am unable to plant anymore.  I don't know how.  But now my noble dwarfs are reduced to surface farmning to obtain adequate booze.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: itg on October 21, 2013, 02:45:43 pm
Your dwarves probably cooked all your plump helmets. Unlike brewing, cooking doesn't give you any seeds.

By the way, you can make surface farming plenty dwarven if you do it underground. Turns out a tile which has seen the sunlight once is permanently considered to be outdoors for farming purposes. Just dig an open pit, build a roof over it, and you can farm everything there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on October 21, 2013, 04:39:21 pm
Quote from: TheKaspa on October 19, 2013, 10:49:29 am
The second death on GloryAnvils was due to a fey idiotdwarf that wanted leather. Problem was, I had embarked with only ducks and chickenks, dogs hadn't breed yet.
Elves arrived, without leather, of course. He died.
Chickens can give leather, though an individual may be too small to do so. You could also have butchered the male dog, since any females would already be pregnant. Did you butcher the wagon pullers already and turn their leather into a finished item?

I don't think elves bring leather anyway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on October 22, 2013, 06:43:27 am
Quote from: itg on October 21, 2013, 02:45:43 pm
By the way, you can make surface farming plenty dwarven if you do it underground. Turns out a tile which has seen the sunlight once is permanently considered to be outdoors for farming purposes. Just dig an open pit, build a roof over it, and you can farm everything there.

I like to roof it with glass - preferrably not green glass, as this is too cheap to make ;) if "Dorfs All Harvest" this also reduces cave adaption.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DwarvesAtWork on October 22, 2013, 11:53:11 am
I just lost a fort to a severed undead hand!! Somehow it was flung on top of the walls around my main gate. It proceeded to scare everyone that got near the main gate. I mass designated ramps all around the walls, but my masons could not get close enough to build. My marksdwarves refused to shoot at it too. Eventually those trapped outside died of thirst and started a tantrum spiral.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on October 22, 2013, 12:03:27 pm
Maybe dig a route to the wall? I'm sure there were other possible routes if you thought about it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Setes on October 23, 2013, 07:46:25 am
Quote from: DwarvesAtWork on October 22, 2013, 11:53:11 am
I just lost a fort to a severed undead hand!! Somehow it was flung on top of the walls around my main gate. It proceeded to scare everyone that got near the main gate. I mass designated ramps all around the walls, but my masons could not get close enough to build. My marksdwarves refused to shoot at it too. Eventually those trapped outside died of thirst and started a tantrum spiral.

Oh god, i did something similar, made an arena a bit too close to the entrance of my fort, and having just traded a load of stuff, all my dwarves were heading up and got caught on the wrong side. The levers to activate the arena were too close so no dwarf wanted to pull them, and soon my entire fortress were dying of thirst.

Derp
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ruhn on October 23, 2013, 05:05:58 pm
I get the annual goblin siege a little early this year (late fall).  Everyone's already inside and the goblins take losses and retreat.

Then I decide: "Cancle the burrow orders and let's go outside to gather goblinite.  Chop trees and build roads too.  And let's get some of the stuff from those merchants who died in the ambush a couple years back.  We have a whole year till they show up again."

Guess what happens 2 months later?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

So after I get everyone possible inside and raise the bridge I get this great idea to dig an emergency entrance tunnel to the other side of the map and make it part of the burrow.  A few lucky ones will be able to make it inside still.

No.  Everyone outside is chased down and dies.  So then I go back to focus on killing the invaders, etc.  Start noticing that we are striking gems and minerals, but write it off to some bedroom expansions I must have been in the middle of.  Get done killing a batch of trolls in the courtyard, but notice that some dogs and a weaver just died?!  Who can guess facepalm #2?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Send some squads to deal with it, a little messy but could have been worse.  Look over and see how to seal things up again, and a dozen pikegoblins with swordmaster are comming.  Send military into the breach to defend while we build some doors.  Kill them without any serious injuries, then I see a dozen lashers comming with a dozen archers.  I try to retreat but 4 archers and my macelord want to stick it out.  I feed a squad in there to try to back up the macelord, and the meat grinder starts turning.  This thing turns into a total BLOODBATH.  War dogs and dwarves start dieing, macelord gets snipered.  Spearmaster buys the farm.  I'm like "that's it".  Activate all of the other squads and even the noobies with wooden weapons in the militia.  Everyone goes in, and the job gets done.

Butcher's bill:
2 legendary fighters
3 militia captains (all skilled fighters with some leadership levels)
20 other military
random civilians who got scared into the tunnel or decided to start hauling corpses during the fight
? war/hunting dogs

Tunnel has been sealed, nobody is allowed outside for a while until I'm ready for more fun.
Future emergency tunnels will be designed with curves and a building-destroyer-proof way to close  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on October 24, 2013, 02:15:11 am
I breached... the clown car - of course I had a fool proof plan, meaning in this case: the fool (me) had a plan that proved to be disastrous. I hade use of the bug that you cannot deconstruct hatches from the bottom, as long as you keep them tightly shut. I also used this for my osidianizer - while Armoks red blood was pumped through fortifications (well... I had fortifications all around the new circus tent), only spilling some of it (minor FP), the water was dumped through the ceiling through lever operated floor hatches. As soon as I opened them, the clowns got into the plumbing, deconstructed the screw pump and now they are at large in the fortress proper.
Ooops
I am not sure whether to wall off some section or to just send everybody in, sit back and enjoy the carnage...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Proto105 on October 24, 2013, 05:41:28 am
Quote from: gunpowdertea on October 24, 2013, 02:15:11 am
I am not sure whether to wall off some section or to just send everybody in, sit back and enjoy the carnage...
I'd go for option 2 and have some FUN
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: wer6 on October 24, 2013, 02:18:53 pm
Quote from: Proto105 on October 24, 2013, 05:41:28 am
Quote from: gunpowdertea on October 24, 2013, 02:15:11 am
I am not sure whether to wall off some section or to just send everybody in, sit back and enjoy the carnage...
I'd go for option 2 and have some FUN

No, it is not as Fun as to wall it off, as the dwarfs slowly die of the lack of things that were sealed off, and when they finnalll y crack, the wall is breached and they fight, Dieing or winning, either way.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Proudnerd on October 25, 2013, 08:37:52 am
Quote from: itg on October 18, 2013, 04:16:06 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/1zajplM.png)


How is this a facepalm? imagining this is just sweet in a weird way. He just likes the little fishes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on October 25, 2013, 02:15:14 pm
Sounds like a chibi fanart.

Built a wall to keep out annoying Elk birds and other cavern nasties. Guess what? Forgot the corners.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on October 25, 2013, 03:21:09 pm
Heh, I had one elk bird manage to get all the way up to the surface and the roof without generating tons of cancel spam, somehow.

At least they are basically harmless and I had one dwarf punch an elk bird in the leg as if he was shooing the bird off.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on October 25, 2013, 04:37:36 pm
One murdered my fisherdwarf, caught him in the hallway as he was coming down and it panicked in the tight space...

6 dwarves left. Luckily, he had a grudge with everyone except the craftsdwarf. Unluckily, I need fish since I can't get to soil yet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on October 26, 2013, 07:49:48 am
"Urist McHunter cancels Return Kill: Interrupted by Lion."

His kill was the lion.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on October 26, 2013, 01:01:18 pm
Quote from: imperium3 on October 26, 2013, 07:49:48 am
"Urist McHunter cancels Return Kill: Interrupted by Lion."

His kill was the lion.

Are you sure there wasn't another lion?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tarqiup Inua on October 26, 2013, 01:43:26 pm
Dj vu is usually a glitch in the Dwarf Fortress. It happens when they change the raws.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kahrkunne on October 27, 2013, 12:41:59 pm
I just lost my second fortress.
Got a goblin ambush (or siege, don't know what it was), so I activated my drawbridge and accidentally locked half my fortress outside. I thought this was the best plan of attack, as my military was very weak (I didn't have a sedenmentary layer or tin, so they had copper gear). Turns out the goblins didn't arrive till much later, when like 80 of my dwarfs had died because of the tantrum spiral that happened after half my fortress had to spend multiple nights outside in a snowstorm without water.
And when they arived, the remaining ~20 dwarfs where all to busy tantruming to pull the bridge back up, turning my entranceway red.

Needless to say, I facepalmed pretty hard.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 11sparky11 on October 27, 2013, 03:34:27 pm
Quote from: kahrkunne on October 27, 2013, 12:41:59 pm
I just lost my second fortress.
Got a goblin ambush (or siege, don't know what it was), so I activated my drawbridge and accidentally locked half my fortress outside. I thought this was the best plan of attack, as my military was very weak (I didn't have a sedenmentary layer or tin, so they had copper gear). Turns out the goblins didn't arrive till much later, when like 80 of my dwarfs had died because of the tantrum spiral that happened after half my fortress had to spend multiple nights outside in a snowstorm without water.
And when they arived, the remaining ~20 dwarfs where all to busy tantruming to pull the bridge back up, turning my entranceway red.

Needless to say, I facepalmed pretty hard.

So I presume the goblins arrived to an open fortress with 80 frozen dwarfs, and went inside to find 20 dwarfs beating each other up, shaking in the corner or smashing their own head open on a wall?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Icefire2314 on October 27, 2013, 04:22:13 pm
Urist McChef cancels prepare Easy Meal: Hunting vermin for food

The palm enters the skull, tearing the muscle, fracturing the skull and bruising the brain!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 11sparky11 on October 27, 2013, 04:31:17 pm
Quote from: Icefire2314 on October 27, 2013, 04:22:13 pm
Urist McChef cancels prepare Easy Meal: Hunting vermin for food

The palm enters the skull, tearing the muscle, fracturing the skull and bruising the brain!

For a moment I thought an undead hand had leaped at his face and killed him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lockbreaker on October 27, 2013, 04:50:01 pm
My latest failed fortress had lost six dwarves in the first year to drowning.  There was this incredible waterfall on the map, so i built my fortress entrance next to it, but unfortunately my little idiots liked to run under it and get swept off into the river.  The first spring migration wave had 39 dwarves.  Not a single one made it through the door.  All of them drowned on the way in.  Every.  Single.  One. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: kahrkunne on October 27, 2013, 04:50:46 pm
Quote from: 11sparky11 on October 27, 2013, 03:34:27 pm
Quote from: kahrkunne on October 27, 2013, 12:41:59 pm
I just lost my second fortress.
Got a goblin ambush (or siege, don't know what it was), so I activated my drawbridge and accidentally locked half my fortress outside. I thought this was the best plan of attack, as my military was very weak (I didn't have a sedenmentary layer or tin, so they had copper gear). Turns out the goblins didn't arrive till much later, when like 80 of my dwarfs had died because of the tantrum spiral that happened after half my fortress had to spend multiple nights outside in a snowstorm without water.
And when they arived, the remaining ~20 dwarfs where all to busy tantruming to pull the bridge back up, turning my entranceway red.

Needless to say, I facepalmed pretty hard.

So I presume the goblins arrived to an open fortress with 80 frozen dwarfs, and went inside to find 20 dwarfs beating each other up, shaking in the corner or smashing their own head open on a wall?

Actually I read some more things on the wiki, and apperantly, when the goblins came it was an actual siege.

So what happened was, I got a message about a goblin ambush. All my dwarfs ran out of my fortress for whatever reason, so I quickly pulled up my drawbridge, moved my military there and waited for the goblins to show up...
But no goblins came! (I think that my civilian dwarfs took care of them) So basically I ended up panicking and leaving half my fortress outside, in a snowstorm, without anything to drink. Needless to say, the combination of snow, having to sleep on the ground, the sun, thirst and dwarfs dying of thirst caused a tantrum spiral. The thirst problem only got worse because I had ran out of booze, and my dwarfs died of thirst before they could drink the newly brewed booze.

And to top it all off, a goblin siege arrived when I had just about 20 miserable dwarfs left (half of which also where insane)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Valikdu on October 27, 2013, 05:12:26 pm
Weaver's strange mood produces a headscarf, made from a single piece of animal silk and nothing else. It's called "Fail". Literally.

(http://i257.photobucket.com/albums/hh235/Valikdu/fail.png~original)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jokerleouf on October 28, 2013, 07:44:52 am
I just began my fortress in the mountains. My dwarf started to dig and to do all their tasks, and then a wolverine arrived, charged at my fisherdwarf, who was thrown directly on a rock and died becaus his head "exploded"... Yep, great start and great facepalm !  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Elarys on October 29, 2013, 04:13:06 am
Playing a new fort and planned out a long winding caravan tunnel (3 wide), side passage (for dwarfs quick access, laced with traps), double drawbridges (each end of the tunnel) and finally an indoor trade depot. Built a stock pile next to the trade depot too for speed. A (so far) very well planned entrance I think (I know I've just cursed myself by saying that! .... 5 yr history and second highest setting for megabeasts.....)

Anyway, I got a message about caravans unable to reach my trade depot but they still came on horses anyway, just no carriage. Meh, must be those slopes preventing my entrance way being "3 wide" enough for them. 9 YEARS later I was wondering why the ONLY caravan I've had was dwarven... and even they didn't bring their wagon with them ever...

Finally I remembered there is a button to check Depot Access (D), that nice winding tunnel I built... one, just one bleeding wall piece wasn't dug out! It had nothing to do with the slopes and what not at all!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ranold on October 29, 2013, 04:24:51 am
I had something similar when using the new version, not realizing that traps will block wagons. Anyway, 9 years without a caravan  wow :o  I usually can't bare to miss even one, are you intentionally choking down your wealth production to avoid large immigration waves?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deboche on October 29, 2013, 04:34:13 am
Made a stockpile for some magma-safe stone, not too big but not too small.

Forgot to set number of wheelbarrows - fps goes way down and a long line of thirsty and hungry dwarves forms between the stockpile and the deepest reaches of my fortress. Needless to say any activity that doesn't have a dedicated(no hauling) dwarf is halted
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on October 29, 2013, 08:47:27 am
Quote from: Valikdu on October 27, 2013, 05:12:26 pm
Weaver's strange mood produces a headscarf, made from a single piece of animal silk and nothing else. It's called "Fail". Literally.

(http://i257.photobucket.com/albums/hh235/Valikdu/fail.png~original)

Lorikeet pegasus? lolwut?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on October 29, 2013, 01:36:30 pm
lorikeets.... one of the most evil birds known to mankind. I have recently acquired ear scars from my trip to that aquarium. If they have combined with the dread unicorn cousins, then Ugdash, Female dwarf deity, have mercy on us all.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mirrizin on October 30, 2013, 06:11:42 pm
So, I had a block stockpile in the bottom floor of my future barracks, and there was a siege. So, I dug fortifications. Then the dug fortifications led to "interrupted by goblin" spam. So I removed the fortifications to make space for solid walls...

And a bloody siege hit. It was like they were just salivating at the opportunity. I'm surprised the goblins didn't wipe out the fort, but they ran away just as I was beginning to despair.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 11sparky11 on October 30, 2013, 06:17:12 pm
So, first hunting trip for my hunter and his faithful companion. This happens.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How. He was pushed. In the head. By a louse. A FREAKIN' LOUSE.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on October 30, 2013, 08:45:27 pm
If it makes you feel any better, imagine the dog being run over by a llama-sized living tank doing a spin dash.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FireCrazy on October 31, 2013, 05:40:38 am
My hunter fell asleep in the middle of hunting. I'm not kidding. He was shooting at this boar and then he suddenly stopped, went to sleep, and the boar limps away and escapes..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Icefire2314 on November 01, 2013, 11:51:07 am
Urist McManlyChild has been content lately. Urist has lost a mother to tragedy recently. Urist has lost a father to tragedy recently. Urist enjoyed starting a fist fight recently (and breaking a grown dwarfs arm...). Urist was forced to endure the decay of a mother recently.

Urist McGrownDwarf has been miserable lately. He complained of the nasty water recently. He was dehydrated recently. He admired a fine chair recently. He lost a friend to tragedy recently. He was forced to endure the decay of a friend recently.

Urist McGrownDwarf cancels Eat: Went insane
Urist McGrownDwarf is running around babbling!

Yeah, so guess who is the better dwarf; AKA, guess who will be drowned and who's body will be entombed in the magma pipe when they die, which will be in the line of duty, btw.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Paaaad on November 01, 2013, 07:56:00 pm
So I embarked on a nearly treeless site, only enough cacti for 6 beds. To get more wood, I look for the first cavern level. Not only do I some how miss both the first and second levels, but when I came out in the third... Well...

*You have discovered an expansive cavern deep underground.*
*Enter*
*You have discovered a mysterious structure deep underground.*

Three dead dwarfs later, the stairs to the third caverns are successfully floored over.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Astrid on November 02, 2013, 06:57:29 am
Had a Forgotten Beast attacking my fort. Organic oversized flying Skunk with 3 eyes and poision. Send my Military after it.
In the end things went a little differently than actually planned.... those pets i tell ya...

(http://pionier-clan.de/Bilder/Unsortierbares/Noseoiled.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 11sparky11 on November 02, 2013, 07:05:30 am
I love how it says above 'The Age of Myth was a time when living gods and mighty beasts still held sway'. Maybe the Age of Myth was a time when peacocks ruled supreme?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on November 02, 2013, 10:14:35 am
I had about 30 cavies just stuck in a pasture and they ate the grass I need for my horses, imagine my surprise when slaughtering 20 cavies doesn't yield an ounce of meat, but 20 tiny skulls... the next traders to come by are going to be carrying some totems away, that's all I know... Also, I spent about a year game time getting tame gray langurs, but they're still weak compared to other animals. Langurs are still better than cavies, they don't eat all our grass and they still give meat... Any other common pets I should be slaughtering en masse?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 11sparky11 on November 02, 2013, 10:29:24 am
Quote from: Aslandus on November 02, 2013, 10:14:35 am
I had about 30 cavies just stuck in a pasture and they ate the grass I need for my horses, imagine my surprise when slaughtering 20 cavies doesn't yield an ounce of meat, but 20 tiny skulls... the next traders to come by are going to be carrying some totems away, that's all I know... Also, I spent about a year game time getting tame gray langurs, but they're still weak compared to other animals. Langurs are still better than cavies, they don't eat all our grass and they still give meat... Any other common pets I should be slaughtering en masse?

Kittens.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on November 02, 2013, 11:16:34 am
Quote from: Icefire2314 on November 01, 2013, 11:51:07 am
Urist McManlyChild has been content lately. Urist has lost a mother to tragedy recently. Urist has lost a father to tragedy recently. Urist enjoyed starting a fist fight recently (and breaking a grown dwarfs arm...). Urist was forced to endure the decay of a mother recently.

Urist McGrownDwarf has been miserable lately. He complained of the nasty water recently. He was dehydrated recently. He admired a fine chair recently. He lost a friend to tragedy recently. He was forced to endure the decay of a friend recently.

Urist McGrownDwarf cancels Eat: Went insane
Urist McGrownDwarf is running around babbling!

Yeah, so guess who is the better dwarf; AKA, guess who will be drowned and who's body will be entombed in the magma pipe when they die, which will be in the line of duty, btw.
So you've got a whiny grown dwarf and child batdwarf... keep an eye on him, or those goblins could be getting a really tough commander...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on November 02, 2013, 05:11:53 pm
Quote from: Paaaad on November 01, 2013, 07:56:00 pm
So I embarked on a nearly treeless site, only enough cacti for 6 beds.
One bed for a dorm, five beds for military bedroom or for spare beds in the dorm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on November 03, 2013, 08:17:47 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on November 02, 2013, 05:11:53 pm
Quote from: Paaaad on November 01, 2013, 07:56:00 pm
So I embarked on a nearly treeless site, only enough cacti for 6 beds.
One bed for a dorm, five beds for military bedroom or for spare beds in the dorm.

Five beds should hold you out until the first caravan comes, which will bring a good deal of trees.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cinnaboss on November 03, 2013, 06:25:35 pm
I had a Forgotten Beast enter from the first cavern layer, a highly threatening blob of salt.  He had climbed up from the bottle of a chasm and was walking along the edge of a cliff towards an open-air picnic area I had set up for the dwarves (a genius plan, I know).  My best swordsdwarf runs at the creature, gets spooked, and plummets to his death at the bottom of the chasm.  A dwarf civilian sitting at a picnic table hits the Forgotten Beast and it disintegrates after one swing.

(face-palm)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: poisoned_salami on November 04, 2013, 04:20:22 pm
I am currently having the Great Reservoir Fiasco of 133.  :)
Firstly, being a noob, i ordered a pit to be channeled out, down near the hospital. (I was intending to make a well, so that wounded dwarves could drink non-stagnant water) This claimed the lives of 2 miners, and a baby. Later, i ordered a floodgate to be placed... It was. But, for some reason, it had trapped NO LESS THAN 20 DWARVES in the reservoir. (No clue why they were there)

On an unrelated note, I ordered the main gate/drawbridge to be raised. Unfortunately, a dwarf was attempting to cross it when this happened... he died on impact.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on November 04, 2013, 04:25:28 pm
More of a funny facepalm than anything. I had taken my hammerdwarves off duty for a while so that they could get some good thoughts in (plus all were legendary) when they started getting the 'embarrassed to be naked' thought. I was confused until I took a closer look at inventory and I had apparently forgotten to put greaves into their uniform, oops!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ruhn on November 04, 2013, 04:34:26 pm
Quote from: smjjames on November 04, 2013, 04:25:28 pm
More of a funny facepalm than anything. I had taken my hammerdwarves off duty for a while so that they could get some good thoughts in (plus all were legendary) when they started getting the 'embarrassed to be naked' thought. I was confused until I took a closer look at inventory and I had apparently forgotten to put greaves into their uniform, oops!
I believe greaves cover the lower leg, how about adding pants?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on November 04, 2013, 04:45:32 pm
Quote from: poisoned_salami on November 04, 2013, 04:20:22 pm
But, for some reason, it had trapped NO LESS THAN 20 DWARVES in the reservoir. (No clue why they were there)
Maybe they were on break? (Do you use meeting zones? My dwarves used to wander to all sorts of places they shouldn't have been before I started using them.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on November 04, 2013, 04:49:33 pm
Quote from: Ruhn on November 04, 2013, 04:34:26 pm
Quote from: smjjames on November 04, 2013, 04:25:28 pm
More of a funny facepalm than anything. I had taken my hammerdwarves off duty for a while so that they could get some good thoughts in (plus all were legendary) when they started getting the 'embarrassed to be naked' thought. I was confused until I took a closer look at inventory and I had apparently forgotten to put greaves into their uniform, oops!
I believe greaves cover the lower leg, how about adding pants?

I haven't had any problems with just greaves covering the legs when the armor is set to replace clothes.

I'm starting to have the same message for the civillian population and I've neglected the clothing industry.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: poisoned_salami on November 04, 2013, 07:00:25 pm
Quote from: Bumber on November 04, 2013, 04:45:32 pm
Quote from: poisoned_salami on November 04, 2013, 04:20:22 pm
But, for some reason, it had trapped NO LESS THAN 20 DWARVES in the reservoir. (No clue why they were there)
Maybe they were on break? (Do you use meeting zones? My dwarves used to wander to all sorts of places they shouldn't have been before I started using them.)
Yes, I have a meeting zone in my dining room. (Un?)fortunately nobody had died, at least in that section of the project, so we're still just as overpopulated as before.
I did figure out why they were there, though. I had designated the miner and baby corpses to be dumped outside so we could recover them for later burying. oops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greyhoundfd on November 04, 2013, 07:23:25 pm
I embarked, finally got a stable fortress with a decent food supply and everything. It had taken me a whole day between everything else. I decide to start my metalworking industry so I can start trading, and realize I brought no anvils. I also had nothing to trade for one, and then my fortress was attacked by centaurs and everyone died.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on November 04, 2013, 08:18:30 pm
You got an attack along with the first caravan? Harsh.

Quote from: Ruhn on November 04, 2013, 04:34:26 pm
I believe greaves cover the lower leg, how about adding pants?
Greaves are pants, being listed in items_pants.txt.

You can also confirm their coverage by going into the arena and spawning two unskilled units, both on the same side and with one wearing only greaves. Take control of the greaveless unit and punch the other in the lower body / upper leg until you get a deflection message.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TalonisWolf on November 07, 2013, 06:22:51 pm
Quote from: wigwam on April 21, 2009, 01:46:50 pm
Digging into a river during the winter (THROUGH my fortress), then forgetting to build a wall again to keep the water in the brook. I didn't notice until I got spammed the "Urist McHauler cancels (whatever): Dangerous terrain." Of course, at the same time, I also figured out that bauxite floodgates with rhyolite mechanisms work great! Until you open them, that is. At that point, my fortress was getting flooded with two liquids from opposite ends. I thought that deserved a facepalm with both hands at once.

Guilty...only on the river end, though.

Also, assigning a military squad to kill a fire-breathing FB without giving them shields? Using napalm on my entire fortress wouldn't have been more effective... especially with multiple booze stockpiles which just so happen to be beside the breach the thing came through.

Operation Claim the Depths:Failed
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WoobMonkey on November 07, 2013, 07:44:25 pm
Having managed the classic single-pick challenge on a flat tundra, I recalled reading somewhere (Reddit, maybe?) that the same challenge would be even harder on a mountainous, forested region - and boy, was it!  Especially when I forget to check just how mountainous the area is. 

And embark directly on a narrow cliff-face.  With a broken wagon. 

And not a log to be seen.

GGGGGGAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

(Side note: I'm still quite proud that we managed to survive as long as we did - 3 1/2 seasons, without a single bed among us, resting our heads against dolomite statues, on the cold alunite floors.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TalonisWolf on November 07, 2013, 08:29:28 pm
Quote from: WoobMonkey on November 07, 2013, 07:44:25 pm
Having managed the classic single-pick challenge on a flat tundra, I recalled reading somewhere (Reddit, maybe?) that the same challenge would be even harder on a mountainous, forested region - and boy, was it!  Especially when I forget to check just how mountainous the area is. 

And embark directly on a narrow cliff-face.  With a broken wagon. 

And not a log to be seen.

GGGGGGAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

(Side note: I'm still quite proud that we managed to survive as long as we did - 3 1/2 seasons, without a single bed among us, resting our heads against dolomite statues, on the cold alunite floors.)

Why did you not just make some stone crafts and trade for wood? And axes?

Wait, that's part of the challenge, not trading, isn't it...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WoobMonkey on November 07, 2013, 10:01:01 pm
Quote from: TalonisWolf on November 07, 2013, 08:29:28 pm


Why did you not just make some stone crafts and trade for wood? And axes?

Wait, that's part of the challenge, not trading, isn't it...

Well, it's more that traders don't seem to be well-suited to running a gauntlet of zombie cougars, eagles, and migrants.  Go figure.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Axe27 on November 10, 2013, 01:24:40 pm
I decided I would drain the creek down three z-levels into a pool so that I could have a well for my hospital. I completely forgot about water pressure, so now the hospital is full of water, and I don't have any magma to seal off the pool from the creek.

So...new hospital time!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DubDub on November 10, 2013, 06:01:44 pm
When a dwarf is being chased by a goblin, runs straight at the entrance of your fort and runs right past and then gets killed, then another dwarf runs out of the dwarf to pick up his remains only to get killed by the goblin, and so on so forth.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on November 10, 2013, 07:54:25 pm
Quote from: DubDub on November 10, 2013, 06:01:44 pm
When a dwarf is being chased by a goblin, runs straight at the entrance of your fort and runs right past and then gets killed, then another dwarf runs out of the dwarf to pick up his remains only to get killed by the goblin, and so on so forth.
Even better when you've got about 5 weapon traps loaded and ready in there that would've saved the dwarf and they run right past anyway....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: puutuulion on November 13, 2013, 08:50:49 am
I had multiple facepalms streaming from the same incident over the last couple days; it all started with my first dragon showed up on the map.  He ran around torching a kitten who had wandered out into the forest, burning down most of the vegetation in that vicinity, until the kitten was no more and then he pathed towards my fortress and into a cage trap.

I've got a pretty reasonable walled river setup, and a mass-pit drowning chamber adjacent to the river had been my main source of goblin disposal.  Now that I had a dragon (who had just demonstrated his awesome firebreath to me) I decided to drain and deepen the drowning champer several z-levels, create a 3x3 block of fortifications (with the center block removed) and drop the dragon into the middle.  My thought was firebreath is more painful than drowning and also burns the refuse, so I no longer need to drain and refill my chamber to prevent a heinous buildup of trash+miasma.

Facepalm #1:  Dragonfire is really, really easy to block.  Only the weak fleshy vermin that wander into traps (and the occassional 'misplaced' kitten) ever die by fire in my pits.  Now I've got a dragon thoroughly protected that I don't know how to get rid of (short of having marksdwarves with the ability to shoot through fortifications from range.)

My new solution: carve fortifications into the area around the death pit, so my marksdwarves can practice shooting goblins and the dragon can burn up all the fallen wooden bolts.  Eventually they should get talented enough to shoot through fortifications from range.  Bonus points because the markswarves randomly get hit by dragonfire (which they also block and train up shield skill.)  Previously my marksdwarves were spending every other month on training (danger room) and off duty (for archery targets.)

Facepalm #2:  Markswarves carry alcohol.  When they go off duty, they turn into civillians, and drop their alcohol+food where they stand.  Even if that's next to a fortification receiving regular bouts of dragonfire.  With a little unfortunate timing, alcohol boils and explodes, thus killing the would-be Marksdwarves.

In further retrospect, I believe I can send my marksdwarves directly into the death room and just have them shoot the dragon from two square away; they should block the dragonfire long enough to take her out.  Alternatively, I should be able to drop a bunch of stones through the dragon's entry pit onto her head until there's nothing left but a big pile of dragon goo, then deconstruct the forts.  I am anticipating some Facepalm #3 as a result.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on November 13, 2013, 08:58:30 am
Dragonfire can't cross z levels (or at least can't be aimed up or down z levels). so you're more likely to get cancel spam.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jcochran on November 13, 2013, 11:05:42 am
How about undermining the area around the dragon and causing it to fall down a level or two? That at the very least ought to eliminate the fortifications, and at the very best, kill it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on November 13, 2013, 12:53:29 pm
Well, he's got the dragon contained and if he doesn't have a hatch cover on the hole that he dumped the dragon through, he can make a few tunnels (or a stairway) up a few z levels to make a channeled tunnel that the dwarves can drop rocks (or whatever else really) through.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: puutuulion on November 13, 2013, 02:01:06 pm
I dropped the dragon from the surface level w/ a hatch.  This was the central of 12 hatches used for pitting.
1z below surface = old drowning pit w/ channels dug underneath the set of 12 hatches (for mass pitting)
2z below surface = completely channeled
3z below surface = dragon chamber ~8x12.  smoothed stone walls, down staircase in corner.
4z below surface = dug out room same shape as drowning chamber w/ up staircase closed off by drawbridge & constructed walls.  also contains lever for drawbridge & wooden bolt stockpile for faster refills.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Carsius on November 13, 2013, 04:08:28 pm
Quote from: puutuulion on November 13, 2013, 08:50:49 am
I had multiple facepalms streaming from the same incident over the last couple days; it all started with my first dragon showed up on the map.  He ran around torching a kitten who had wandered out into the forest, burning down most of the vegetation in that vicinity, until the kitten was no more and then he pathed towards my fortress and into a cage trap.

I've got a pretty reasonable walled river setup, and a mass-pit drowning chamber adjacent to the river had been my main source of goblin disposal.  Now that I had a dragon (who had just demonstrated his awesome firebreath to me) I decided to drain and deepen the drowning champer several z-levels, create a 3x3 block of fortifications (with the center block removed) and drop the dragon into the middle.  My thought was firebreath is more painful than drowning and also burns the refuse, so I no longer need to drain and refill my chamber to prevent a heinous buildup of trash+miasma.

Facepalm #1:  Dragonfire is really, really easy to block.  Only the weak fleshy vermin that wander into traps (and the occassional 'misplaced' kitten) ever die by fire in my pits.  Now I've got a dragon thoroughly protected that I don't know how to get rid of (short of having marksdwarves with the ability to shoot through fortifications from range.)

My new solution: carve fortifications into the area around the death pit, so my marksdwarves can practice shooting goblins and the dragon can burn up all the fallen wooden bolts.  Eventually they should get talented enough to shoot through fortifications from range.  Bonus points because the markswarves randomly get hit by dragonfire (which they also block and train up shield skill.)  Previously my marksdwarves were spending every other month on training (danger room) and off duty (for archery targets.)

Facepalm #2:  Markswarves carry alcohol.  When they go off duty, they turn into civillians, and drop their alcohol+food where they stand.  Even if that's next to a fortification receiving regular bouts of dragonfire.  With a little unfortunate timing, alcohol boils and explodes, thus killing the would-be Marksdwarves.

In further retrospect, I believe I can send my marksdwarves directly into the death room and just have them shoot the dragon from two square away; they should block the dragonfire long enough to take her out.  Alternatively, I should be able to drop a bunch of stones through the dragon's entry pit onto her head until there's nothing left but a big pile of dragon goo, then deconstruct the forts.  I am anticipating some Facepalm #3 as a result.
You can order your dwarves to not carry food and/or drinks on them through the supplies screen of the military menu. Should keep the rate of exploding dwarves down. From what I understand, it also speeds up the rate at which your squads mobilize, since that's one less thing for them to pick up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ruhn on November 13, 2013, 10:55:03 pm
I lol'd at the "torching the kitten" part  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on November 14, 2013, 06:42:45 am
Quote from: puutuulion on November 13, 2013, 08:50:49 am
Facepalm #2:  Markswarves carry alcohol.  When they go off duty, they turn into civillians, and drop their alcohol+food where they stand.  Even if that's next to a fortification receiving regular bouts of dragonfire.  With a little unfortunate timing, alcohol boils and explodes, thus killing the would-be Marksdwarves.

Alcohol doesn't explode. If it gets hot enough, it just evaporates and disperses.

Provisions are part of a militia member's uniform, so will only be dropped if the dwarf has to remove the uniform upon going off-duty. This will only happen if you specifically set the 'no uniform' option, or if the dwarfs in question have civilian jobs with their own uniform (miner, woodcutter, hunter).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tarqiup Inua on November 14, 2013, 01:53:52 pm
It started in really innocent way. I decided to butcher the animals I bought from autumn caravan en masse to get the supply of bones for crafting so there was this pile of meat in the butchery, dwarves were hauling it to the food stockpile. Autumn caravan took off as the winter came. In the end, about a dozen dwarves died of dehydration.

It took a moment to realize what was going on when I got down to 23 drinks. The meat clogged all the empty pots and barrels so there was no way to make more alcohol. I set up three more craftsdwarf workshops to make as many containers as possible, assigned stoneworking and brewing labors to everyone, ordered my diggers to attempt to find the nearest cavern as soon as possible in hopes there would be a watersource. In the end, it worked out... now I have to hope tantrum spiral doesn't kick in.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iamblichos on November 14, 2013, 03:40:09 pm
Facepalm moment of the day:

Digging a channel for water.  Yay, waterfall.

At the bottom, I dig a door for little Legendary Miner to pop out.  I then set the door to Forbidden.

Piffo zippo, connect up the blue stuff, everything runs, waterfall is misting, dwarves are happy, well is filled, life is good.

Until... I see a random message pop up about "Cancelled: dangerous terrain".  WTF?  Scrolling down to the basement, some 40 z levels below (not in the caverns yet) I see... water everywhere.  It's all over the stairs, it's flooding the hallways, etc.  Bugger.

I throw the switch to turn off the floodgate... and discover that Urist McHateYouGuys hadn't bothered to hook it up despite having at least 2 seasons to do so while I dug.  Double bugger.

Looking down the channel, I see the problem, six levels down... someone had apparently fallen in the waterfall, gotten to the bottom, OPENED THE FORBIDDEN DOOR and then DIED in it.  It's a world of blue rushing death.

As I attempt a frantic last-minute effort to punch through into the caverns to give myself some drainage, I see a jet of pure blue death shoot up from the well in the hospital, washing away the small party sticking around admiring the bucket or whatever the hell they do there.

Abandon game? (y).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jcochran on November 14, 2013, 07:46:17 pm
Quote from: Iamblichos on November 14, 2013, 03:40:09 pm
I throw the switch to turn off the floodgate... and discover that Urist McHateYouGuys hadn't bothered to hook it up despite having at least 2 seasons to do so while I dug.  Double bugger.

Floodgate? Or perhaps drawbridge? After all, the default state for a floodgate is closed. Silly thing stays closed unless it's successfully linked to a lever or pressure plate and said lever or pressure plate is triggered.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on November 15, 2013, 07:45:48 am
Quote from: Iamblichos on November 14, 2013, 03:40:09 pm
I throw the switch to turn off the floodgate... and discover that Urist McHateYouGuys hadn't bothered to hook it up despite having at least 2 seasons to do so while I dug.  Double bugger.

It could be that the building's open/closed state and lever state didn't match, or that you pulled the lever too quickly in succession, not accounting for the 100-step delay from lever pull to building reaction. Was the "link lever to building" still shown in the lever's query dialogue? If it's no longer shown, the job _usually_ has been performed (there are exceptions) and the error was in wrong operation of the lever.

If your mechanic really failed to link up a floodgate in two seasons, that's a serious organisation mishap. Either you managed to swamp all your (or your only?!) mechanic/s with so much other (less vital!) work that they never found the time to do their actual job, or the floodgate wasn't reachable for linking, e.g. because of locked doors somewhere in the way. I've done a fair bit of mechanics tinkering, so it's become second nature for me to carefully check that levers and buildings are properly linked up and functional before trusting my fort's life on them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iamblichos on November 15, 2013, 10:11:58 am
Oh yes, this was a total fail on the player side; I didn't verify that critical steps had been done by my angry midgets beloved dwarves.  I think I probably also overused the lever.  New fort is going better and I did some serious reading on the Wiki about fluid dwarfnamics so it shouldn't happen again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on November 15, 2013, 03:25:55 pm
Quote from: Larix on November 15, 2013, 07:45:48 am
I've done a fair bit of mechanics tinkering, so it's become second nature for me to carefully check that levers and buildings are properly linked up and functional before trusting my fort's life on them.
After losing a fort or two because levers weren't hooked up promptly, I can verify that this is important...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Virodhi on November 16, 2013, 04:34:44 pm
Dear diary, today I was reminded of the value of checking the neighbors screen before embarking.

I was settling into a nice, calm region to finally figure out those blasted minecarts when... zombies, zombies everywhere.

Checking a copy of the world reveals that I've embarked in range of eight towers. Ouch.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on November 16, 2013, 06:32:46 pm
Quote from: Virodhi on November 16, 2013, 04:34:44 pm
Dear diary, today I was reminded of the value of checking the neighbors screen before embarking.

I was settling into a nice, calm region to finally figure out those blasted minecarts when... zombies, zombies everywhere.

Checking a copy of the world reveals that I've embarked in range of eight towers. Ouch.
Quick! build minecart tracks all around your base and put about 5 carts running constantly around your base filled with rocks to squash anything that tries to enter! (ps: exploding zombies = fun)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beast Tamer on November 16, 2013, 08:26:16 pm
Embarked within range of eight necromancer towers? Would you mind posting the raws so I could use them?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on November 16, 2013, 08:32:43 pm
i had three craftsdwarf moods so far. rather than using the workshop on the surface, or the workshop 1z lvl away from the meeting hall, they all use my adamantine workshops, which are located in the 3rd cavern layer, 80z lvls from the surface.

WHY CAN'T DWARVES UNDERSTAND CONVENIENCE?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: klefenz on November 17, 2013, 01:14:55 am
So, i was trying to get one dwarf to the hospital to fix his broken hand, since he did not respond to burrow assignment (tried getting him out of the military, didnt work), i send his squad of 3 to a hole to get cave inned. Another dwarf got a blorken leg, but Urist McBrokenArm didnt get a scratch. First facepalm.

Then after Urist McBrokenLeg got healed i decided to try again, so i sent a miner to clear the caved-in block. I have to clarify, it was ONE block in the middle of a small 3*3 room. Nothing over it. This miner dug this tile of rock and it caved-in. Again. WTF? She was taken to the hospital, however her baby girl was abandoned there. Maybe i should try take her to goblin hospital, im pretty sure they have better medical attention for kids.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on November 17, 2013, 06:17:49 pm
Babies cannot take any jobs, which prevents them from taking the "Rest" job, which means they can't be treated in the hospital. You can only hope the mother gets treated quickly enough to get back to baby and pick it up before it dehydrates, because thanks to another annoying bug, babies easily fall victim to thirst/starvation in the middle of the meeting hall, because give water/food jobs aren't generated reliably for them. A wounded infant will instantly go to rest and get treated once it reaches its first birthday and upgrades to "child".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: klefenz on November 18, 2013, 04:01:35 am
Great i got 3 migrant doctor with level 11 skills.

They all have surgeon and bone doctor. No other skilled doctors. Facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WoobMonkey on November 18, 2013, 05:45:42 am
(http://i.imgur.com/86GvygB.png?1) (http://imgur.com/86GvygB)


All because of a wee little girl with a short temper.  Berserk + martial trance is a glory to behold.  Too bad we had to put her down; she'd have grown to be one hell of a soldier someday.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on November 18, 2013, 06:29:35 am
Quote from: WoobMonkey on November 18, 2013, 05:45:42 am
(http://i.imgur.com/86GvygB.png?1) (http://imgur.com/86GvygB)


All because of a wee little girl with a short temper.  Berserk + martial trance is a glory to behold.  Too bad we had to put her down; she'd have grown to be one hell of a soldier someday.

She's so badass, she murdered a ghost! What the hell?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: oldark on November 18, 2013, 09:39:57 am
I just had a dwarf last night with a "Ghostly dwarf" in her kills list. I didn't notice if she came to my fort that way or got the kill after arriving but how does this happen?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on November 18, 2013, 09:43:37 am
No freaking clue, given that ghosts are supposed to be ethereal and any attack should just pass right through.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WoobMonkey on November 18, 2013, 09:44:40 am
Dwarf comes to fortress, alive and well.  Dwarf is killed by a dwarf in your unit list, and is neither buried nor memorialized.

Dwarf victim's status changes to 'Ghostly," and is updated across all reports.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jcochran on November 18, 2013, 10:39:09 am
Quote from: Virodhi on November 16, 2013, 04:34:44 pm
Dear diary, today I was reminded of the value of checking the neighbors screen before embarking.

I was settling into a nice, calm region to finally figure out those blasted minecarts when... zombies, zombies everywhere.

Checking a copy of the world reveals that I've embarked in range of eight towers. Ouch.

World generation parameters and seeds please?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rauthr on November 19, 2013, 07:57:35 am
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back after I had played for a few months, then someone told me about d -> b -> d (mass dump), my frontal lobe was severely bruised.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doc Voston on November 19, 2013, 03:45:12 pm
I was experimenting traps with lead minecart and impulse ramp,
now the minecart have 51 dwarfs kill.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on November 19, 2013, 03:50:19 pm
Quote from: Doc Voston on November 19, 2013, 03:45:12 pm
I was experimenting traps with lead minecart and impulse ramp,
now the minecart have 51 dwarfs kill.
I'm unsure whether to give you commendations or condolences.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WanderingKid on November 19, 2013, 03:53:25 pm
Quote from: Edmus on November 19, 2013, 03:50:19 pm
Quote from: Doc Voston on November 19, 2013, 03:45:12 pm
I was experimenting traps with lead minecart and impulse ramp,
now the minecart have 51 dwarfs kill.
I'm unsure whether to give you commendations or condolences.

Neither, but give that minecart a palacial bedroom or something before it berserks!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: IronTomato on November 21, 2013, 08:04:19 am
Earlier, I had bitten the finger off some bandit.

Several days later, I realized, the finger was still in my mouth.

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grey Goo on November 21, 2013, 06:33:33 pm
Quote from: IronTomato on November 21, 2013, 08:04:19 am
Earlier, I had bitten the finger off some bandit.

Several days later, I realized, the finger was still in my mouth.

*facepalm*

Finger, whats nothing. Imagine if you should been using mods and those mods having genitals modded in.

Several days someones penis in... your... mouth... Unwashed one on that matter... Rotting...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on November 22, 2013, 02:56:23 am
Quote from: Grey Goo on November 21, 2013, 06:33:33 pm
- snip -


Really. Did you really have to go there? C'mon dude, this isn't 4chan. Show a little class.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on November 22, 2013, 03:05:11 am
I can't wait until future versions when we'll be able to keep fingers in our mouths until they rot, then get offended at villagers who stare at us for it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: IronTomato on November 22, 2013, 08:03:08 am
Quote from: Grey Goo on November 21, 2013, 06:33:33 pm
- snip -
Why would I bite someone's phallus off, And keep it in my mouth?
It would be so much more efficient to use it as a weapon.
Quote from: HugoLuman on November 22, 2013, 03:05:11 am
I can't wait until future versions when we'll be able to keep fingers in our mouths until they rot, then get offended at villagers who stare at us for it.
For some reason I find that to be a really good idea.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: fricy on November 22, 2013, 09:19:02 am
Quote from: IronTomato on November 22, 2013, 08:03:08 am
Quote from: Grey Goo on November 21, 2013, 06:33:33 pm
- snip -
Why would I bite someone's phallus off, And keep it in my mouth?
It would be so much more efficient to use it as a weapon.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Niccolo on November 22, 2013, 09:36:48 am
Quote from: fricy on November 22, 2013, 09:19:02 am
Why would I bite someone's phallus off, And keep it in my mouth?
It would be so much more efficient to use it as a weapon.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
[/quote]

You're new here, aintcha? We weaponise everything. You'll get used to it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on November 22, 2013, 09:45:54 am
Come on people lets get off this... track... lolz.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: wer6 on November 22, 2013, 03:20:27 pm
turns out, axes as a aadventurer is a HORRIBLE idea against necromancers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on November 22, 2013, 05:17:36 pm
Quote from: wer6 on November 22, 2013, 03:20:27 pm
turns out, axes as a aadventurer is a HORRIBLE idea against necromancers.

Just use aimed shots - first at the legs, then at the upper bodies of the undead. Leg loss puts them on the floor, unable to charge and at a serious combat disadvantage, upper body strikes do decent "hitpoint" damage. Legs can't be revived separately and upper body strikes can't sever anything.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on November 22, 2013, 07:35:34 pm
Gen nice world. Find nice site. Make nice embark profile (turkeys, anvil, coal, iron ore, flux, emergency bauxite). See fortress's name is Zonsat. That's a pretty cool name, I wonder what it...

Welcome to Helmedstroked.

 ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on November 22, 2013, 08:33:41 pm
this is armok punishing me for save scumming and danger room exploits.

a great monitor lizard showed up with noxious secretions that were boiling extracts. I first tried to order a general alert, getting my dwarves out of the caverns, but a legendary mechanic died. before that i checked his status and saw that he was oozing blood.

one save scum later, i tried to overpower it with my military. I succeeded, but one axe lord got caught in boiling extract. I check his wounds to see that he was paralyzed and winded, then i checked his health screen and found that he CANNOT BREATHE. I plan to keep this save to remind me of this tragedy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Proto105 on November 29, 2013, 06:20:08 am
Quote from: Grey Goo on November 21, 2013, 06:33:33 pm
Quote from: IronTomato on November 21, 2013, 08:04:19 am
Earlier, I had bitten the finger off some bandit.

Several days later, I realized, the finger was still in my mouth.

*facepalm*

Finger, whats nothing. Imagine if you should been using mods and those mods having genitals modded in.

Several days someones penis in... your... mouth... Unwashed one on that matter... Rotting...


Dwarves don't have and/or need those. They have spores.. Humans do use spears though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KingBacon on November 29, 2013, 11:59:38 am
So I've been training an army and switched from spears and hammers to axes. Every squad was doing well, but I was utter confused why one squad was progressing so slowly. Forgot to activate my conscripts, derp : P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BanjoSnake on November 30, 2013, 10:15:48 pm
Just got my first mood in a new fort!

I never bother to cross-train my dwarves for moods, too much micromanagement for my liking. Plus I like seeing what kind of weird junk my idiotic highly creative dwarves come up with.
So I was pleasantly surprised when one of my weaponsmiths was chosen by Armok to create an artifact!

Sadly I had just used up all my steel outfitting the military. Guess what the only kind of metal bar left in the fort was?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Oh well, at least he is legendary, I guess that kinda makes up for it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on December 01, 2013, 10:55:17 am
Pig iron's not terrible. If it's blunt, it'll be alright. If it'd edged, it should get through copper armour, and may or may not be able to get through bronze and iron. A spear has a better chance of penetrating a 'better' armour material than an axe does.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BanjoSnake on December 01, 2013, 01:12:16 pm
It's an axe. I'll just be better off with my masterwork steel weapons. The kobolds can have the artifact.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on December 02, 2013, 10:49:59 am
Nah, stick it in a weapon trap to boost the value of a room.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KingBacon on December 02, 2013, 11:43:10 am
My chief smith, head of the Bomrek Clan, was killed by a magma crab. Now only 3 master smiths remain in my fort.

Now HFS is coming up the tube, the axedorfs and archers are ready, I hope it is enough.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BanjoSnake on December 02, 2013, 11:44:37 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on December 02, 2013, 10:49:59 am
Nah, stick it in a weapon trap to boost the value of a room.
No traps allowed in this fort! Military only. I might do what I usually do with artifacts and put it in a custom stockpile in a private statue garden for the weaponsmith. I know that has no effect on room value, I just do it for my own aesthetic enjoyment really. Or make a room full of a number of one tile stockpiles deep underground as a treasure vault haha.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tonic on December 03, 2013, 02:17:55 pm
Quote from: BanjoSnake on December 02, 2013, 11:44:37 am
Or make a room full of a number of one tile stockpiles deep underground as a treasure vault haha.

Has anyone successfully done this?  I've made a few desultory stabs at it but so far, no luck.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BanjoSnake on December 03, 2013, 02:28:00 pm
It's easy really, make a one tile stockpile and set it to only allow artifact quality items, of the type and material of what you want in it. Make sure other stockpiles for mundane versions of that item type have artifact quality disabled. And be sure to disable bins if you want to actually see the item. Add traps, drawbridges/floodgates as a vault door maybe some guards at the door... gotta find something to keep the fortress guard busy! Or some captured monsters... whatever, go nuts! It'll give your adventurers something to aim for.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 4maskwolf on December 04, 2013, 09:33:47 am
Urist McSleepy cancels sleep on stonefall trap: interrupted by falling stone
Urist McSleepy cancels sleep: dead.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WanderingKid on December 06, 2013, 07:46:31 pm
I know this isn't exactly a DF moment, but it's related.  So, I've been fighting with figuring out how to properly 'highlight' a portion of the screen, darkening the rest, in movie maker.  Pick one, any one.  They all do it (basically) the same way but my brain just wouldn't connect the dots.

I've watched about 15 hours of tutorials and read another 150 pages of stuff while watching them off to the side until I hear some keywords I'm interested in.  Meanwhile I've been banging away at the different movie effects thinking "This CAN'T be a special feature in a download pack!" and been generally banging my head on the wall.

It's actually pretty simple and I'd used all the tools for it already, just not together.  After looking at a page for Adobe Movie Maker (whatever it's called) and reading through using titles and greenscreening with underlying opacity, my brain immediately went straight to *headdesk*.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zarathustra30 on December 07, 2013, 01:06:47 am
I spent hours, days, weeks, trying to iron out all the kinks in a minecart spiral to bring up magma (the cart was derailing and bouncing off a wall back onto the track.).  I finally fix it, and get a fair amount of lava up to my top level, but not quite enough to power my smelters.  On the eleventh or so trip, it gets stuck between two impulse ramps in the magma channel.

I now have to cut off the flow, cast the entire thing, re-mine, and re-carve just to get the cart out.  And figure out how to stop it from sticking, without derailing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on December 07, 2013, 11:27:31 am
Quote from: Zarathustra30 on December 07, 2013, 01:06:47 am
I spent hours, days, weeks, trying to iron out all the kinks in a minecart spiral to bring up magma (the cart was derailing and bouncing off a wall back onto the track.).  I finally fix it, and get a fair amount of lava up to my top level, but not quite enough to power my smelters.  On the eleventh or so trip, it gets stuck between two impulse ramps in the magma channel.

I now have to cut off the flow, cast the entire thing, re-mine, and re-carve just to get the cart out.  And figure out how to stop it from sticking, without derailing.

I would have thought the proper thing to do to fill up a magma cart was to run it through a magma fall.  Now I am figuring out how to make a magmafall that doesn't overflow, can be shut off at need, and allows the cart to be manually pushed when off.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on December 07, 2013, 11:52:58 am
Why don't you just use pumps?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WanderingKid on December 07, 2013, 01:59:12 pm
Quote from: Zarathustra30 on December 07, 2013, 01:06:47 am
I spent hours, days, weeks, trying to iron out all the kinks in a minecart spiral to bring up magma (the cart was derailing and bouncing off a wall back onto the track.).  I finally fix it, and get a fair amount of lava up to my top level, but not quite enough to power my smelters.  On the eleventh or so trip, it gets stuck between two impulse ramps in the magma channel.

I now have to cut off the flow, cast the entire thing, re-mine, and re-carve just to get the cart out.  And figure out how to stop it from sticking, without derailing.

For the spiral, may I recommend checking out the link in my sig about impulse elevators?

For the actual fill, I recommend a DWR and a short roller system.  I haven't found anything else that's consistent enough.  You need power at the fill point, just not for the rest of the run.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Icecoon on December 09, 2013, 02:51:38 am
I got a nice facepalm moment yesterday. I've built a wall around my fortress entrance with a drawbridge, but I forgot to set it to raise, instead when a dwarf pulled the lever the bridge just retracted. I found this out when a goblin siege started, but I stayed calm, because I digged a two tile wide moat full of water around the wall, so I thought I was safe and went to check on my workshops. When I scrolled back to the wall area, the goblins were happily murdering my dwarves .. only then I noticed that they were riding cave crocodiles, which ferried them through the water.

Facepalm..
Reclaim..
Edit:
Note:
Change the water to MAGMA!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on December 09, 2013, 01:14:38 pm
Quote from: Zarathustra30 on December 07, 2013, 01:06:47 am
I finally fix it, and get a fair amount of lava up to my top level, but not quite enough to power my smelters.
Maybe you can dig a slightly smaller reservoir and manually pump the magma you have into it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yourmaster on December 09, 2013, 08:44:49 pm
I am fooling around and get into water with a no swimming character. As they learn to swim, I decide to learn swim skill. Doing perfectly fine,  up and down the river, and they drown and die. My best character...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on December 09, 2013, 08:49:49 pm
Quote from: Yourmaster on December 09, 2013, 08:44:49 pm
I am fooling around and get into water with a no swimming character. As they learn to swim, I decide to learn swim skill. Doing perfectly fine,  up and down the river, and they drown and die. My best character...
you just forgot to train your breathing skill alongside it, it's a common mistake, especially for dwarves that fall in the water.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nordanvind on December 10, 2013, 08:21:02 am
I hurled giant boulders with my catapults against human invaders, only to see my dwarves hurriedly chase after the rocks to bring them back to the fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yourmaster on December 10, 2013, 03:06:07 pm
No, I thing my main problem is the fact half the time my dwarves are fighting and fall into water. This makes me assume they know how to  swim.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Baffler on December 10, 2013, 07:04:34 pm
So I was excavating a very large circular room for the newer, nicer fortress I'm excavating below the one I have now, and decided I needed to draft some new miners. I drafted about half of the next migrant wave, and the other half was put on smoothing duty. The picks were premade, so there was no hitch with equipment. But none of them were going to work. Only two or three were actually doing anything. I was halfway through my angry note to Urist when, while checking around the site, I noticed that the down stair leading in had been smoothed over, blocking access.

I'm almost afraid to think what kind of stupid mistakes I'll make when I have to build scaffolding later.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunfee on December 11, 2013, 11:41:56 am
I had built an awesome fort. It survived countless goblin waves, had an elaborate trap system in the entrance and it had just become a mountainhome. I had no need for a huge military. I had just enough to get by.

I had my fortress set into levels.
Level 1 was storage and my trading post, 2 was crafting (with stairs going up from the crafting stations to stockpiles)
Level 3 was my living quarters.
Level 4 was my well and dining rooms.

I went down another 5 levels and that is where my mines started. Nothing special. I found an underground area and would send patrols into it every so often to train/hunt
I figured I wanted to fill those middle spaces with something. An arena!
I had a grand plan. I would set traps out front to capture parts of goblin waves. I would then bring those goblins to the arena, set them up and then have them fight my military dwarves for fun.
I went all out. I had a large pit with fortifications around it. On the lower level I had doors on each side of the arena. One would hold my warriors and the other had cages. On the top level I built a legendary dining hall, new throne room and everything. I wanted this thing to be the entertainment hub of the fortress.

Enemy wave. Great. Now I have things to fill my cages.
I capture about 15 enemies. Goblins and trolls both.
I set them up in their room and go to attend to something else. I found a forgotten beast in the caverns. The first I've ever seen. I sent all of my military (and conscript all of my hunters too) to slay the thing before it makes it to the entrance to my mines... Fire and blood everywhere. I killed it though. I only had a marksdwarf and a hammerdwarf left.

I send them back upstairs only to find that a handful of trolls and goblins had escaped their cages (I didn't know this could happen). I lost somewhere around 10 dwarves before I could finally bring everything under control.

10 dwarves plus another dozen fighting a forgotten beast. All because I thought "Hey, bringing enemies into the deepest level of my fortress won't cause any harm"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on December 11, 2013, 12:41:54 pm
Was the FB anywhere near the cages? It's possible it set the cages on fire.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunfee on December 11, 2013, 01:09:16 pm
No, It was at least 20 layers below and a half map away. I assume I goofed placing/moving the cages and the baddies escaped.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: arcturusthelesser on December 17, 2013, 11:15:47 pm
Quote from: Icecoon on December 09, 2013, 02:51:38 am
I got a nice facepalm moment yesterday. I've built a wall around my fortress entrance with a drawbridge, but I forgot to set it to raise, instead when a dwarf pulled the lever the bridge just retracted. I found this out when a goblin siege started, but I stayed calm, because I digged a two tile wide moat full of water around the wall, so I thought I was safe and went to check on my workshops. When I scrolled back to the wall area, the goblins were happily murdering my dwarves .. only then I noticed that they were riding cave crocodiles, which ferried them through the water.

Facepalm..
Reclaim..
Edit:
Note:
Change the water to MAGMA!
If you build a door the only difference is lack of atom-smashing power and vulnerability to building destroyers. Granted, that costs more resources than just going with a drawbridge from the start.
Quote from: Nordanvind on December 10, 2013, 08:21:02 am
I hurled giant boulders with my catapults against human invaders, only to see my dwarves hurriedly chase after the rocks to bring them back to the fortress.
I think you can set it so the rocks are forbidden after they hit the ground with 'set orders'. If not, then I guess I'm going to go get some ballistae.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Francinator on December 18, 2013, 09:01:21 am
I was making a 4 way waterfall system in my dining room today, all was going well except for the fact that the tunnels draining the water into the caverns were too small for the amount of water that was flowing in so I sent my miners down to widen the tunnel.

The system had 4 floodgates for the 4 waterfalls and what i didn't realize was that one of them was being blocked by a rock, so i was sending all 10 of my miners down into what i thought was some shallow water in the tunnel but was actually a 7/7 deathtrap that managed to nearly cause a tantrum spiral from the amount of drownings that took place (my fort was saved by the very waterfalls these guys died for!).

Luckily the picks didn't fall down into the deadly FB caves below the fort so I'm able to train a new mining team to replace the others :P.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: klefenz on December 21, 2013, 04:19:38 am
I spent a long time building a magma piston, when i deply it i realize the bridges to contain the magma were not magma safe. All the magma fell down again :(

Well, at least i have this to confort me in this fort:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pukako on December 22, 2013, 08:11:54 pm
"Utterstake" was carved into the cliffs above the open crater of a volcano.

It prospered, despite only having copper ore - nothing else. Just starting to put windows in the rooms to overlook the magma, when goblins & trolls attacked. I knew that my emergency exit was a weak point, but stationed the military above it. Trolls & goblins were slaughtered easily, but, looking again, so were my dwarves. The military were happily killing EVERYONE!!!

I'm still mystified, but it's sure one way to lose a fortress...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mate888 on December 22, 2013, 11:25:38 pm
The one and only time I sent Urtist Mc Mostpopulardwarfintown fishing I found him in this situation:(http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/128/a/f/carp_and_dwarf_by_shabazik-d4yyptf.png)
Well done, Urtist! I hope you enjoy seeing the tantrum spiral slowly eating my wonderful job FROM F*CKING HELL!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RegalStar on December 23, 2013, 02:21:11 pm
I set up a live target/enemy mount execution chamber, which can only be entered through a route below it, which is protected by a drawbridge. So after everything's set up and done, I flip the lever that release the cages, then realized that the freed beasts somehow disappeared?

Yeah, I forgot to actually raise the drawbridges before releasing them. Go me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: milo christiansen on December 23, 2013, 04:39:21 pm
So I have been perfecting the ultimate fortress entrance, complete with at LEAST two bridges between every intersection and a sealable trade depot with optional cavern exit. The whole thing is saved as a macro (generated via QuickFort) so I can just ctrl+p and be ready to dig. It works really well as far as I can tell, but so far all my forts die before it is finished.
My last one died to the fastest tantrum spiral I have ever seen in my 1+ years of playing DF. I had all the bridges connected to levers and was starting to forge spikes for the trap hall when I noticed a food problem. I had brewed too many plump helmets, so while I had almost 1000 alcohol  was out of food and harvest was about a week away. I could have waited it out with only minor unhappy thoughts, but I had all these haulers just sitting there...

As soon as the last hauler reached the surface to gather plants a massive undead siege arrived (149 undead, to be exact) killing all but two of my 60+ haulers almost immediately. I got the fort sealed (rather easily) but the ~20 survivors were ALL "miserable", apparently everyone was friends with everyone else, oops.

The fort lasted less than a month after that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sugarlevi on December 23, 2013, 11:30:53 pm
Horror, all over the fort. Siege. Dead dorfs.

Tantrum spiraling inside the fort. Nothing is being build. Dorfs going melancholic. Dying of starvation and dehydration.

From 160 dwarfs, back to 60.  And only then I notice the central staircase on one of the layers, which I accidently turned into down stairs. *major facepalm*

So problem fixed, surviving dwarfs are rescued, all the dead dwarfs are buried.

Finally a new caravan. From the dwarven civilization along with a major vile of darkness!

Tells all the dwarfs to go inside. All dwarfs inside? Good! Pull the lever, omg, where did the lever go?
Of course destroyed by one of the berserk/stark raving mad dwarfs... Bridges don't close. I try to get them to build some walls, sealing themselves in, but the first trolls are already in the hallway, and all dwarfs are running around in panic, incapable of even building themselves a wall. Bye bye, other 59 dwarfs... Grr.... Ah well, at least my vampire bookkeeper managed to survive! Maybe I should set him loose to see how long he will last...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fallenworldful on December 25, 2013, 10:17:55 pm
I minecart railgunned my meeting hall/test chambers by accident. How was I supposed to know a minecart at sufficient velocity impacting a fortification turns its contents (Spears and shortswords) into deadly projectiles?

Everything is bloody now
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: D34dlock on December 26, 2013, 03:15:03 pm
Quote from: Fallenworldful on December 25, 2013, 10:17:55 pm
I minecart railgunned my meeting hall/test chambers by accident. How was I supposed to know a minecart at sufficient velocity impacting a fortification turns its contents (Spears and shortswords) into deadly projectiles?

Everything is bloody now
Sounds like a good fort defense in the making. Try to replicate it against Goblins, Hippies, and Forgotten beasts. Was it better than ballista?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ChildofSolitude on December 30, 2013, 05:48:31 pm
I started out in a terrifying biome, and before I even had time to cut into the mountain a thralling cloud hit the wagon and got everyone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mirrizin on December 30, 2013, 08:57:03 pm
So, I tapped the volcano edge, at a diag. In the interest of flow, I cut out an adjoining chunk, and opened up a steady lava flow streaming down the side of the mountain, incinerating the miner and a caravan guard.

Thankfully, no other casualties, though there's  now a shallow lava flow running to the edge of the map on one side.

I thought, without checking the wiki, that if I could stage a cave in to block the spot, it would work, but it wasn't until I'd spent some considerable effort on this project and executed that I learned that constructions deconstruct on impact. Now there are a few stray blocks and a mechanism buried in the lava.

Obviously, what I need is water, but the only sizable water source on the map is a good 20 z levels down on the remote end of the map. Well, I was thinking it was time I set up a well...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on December 31, 2013, 02:45:01 am
Quote from: ChildofSolitude on December 30, 2013, 05:48:31 pm
I started out in a terrifying biome, and before I even had time to cut into the mountain a thralling cloud hit the wagon and got everyone.
I'm picturing the wagon included, even though I'm pretty sure embark wagons are buildings and can't be thralled.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Proto105 on December 31, 2013, 05:02:55 am
Quote from: Bumber on December 31, 2013, 02:45:01 am
Quote from: ChildofSolitude on December 30, 2013, 05:48:31 pm
I started out in a terrifying biome, and before I even had time to cut into the mountain a thralling cloud hit the wagon and got everyone.
I'm picturing the wagon included, even though I'm pretty sure embark wagons are buildings and can't be thralled.
That's what they want you to think...
 http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=128593.0
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Getix Kain on December 31, 2013, 05:48:02 am
I just forgot to link (most of) the levers to raising bridges on the surface.

Siege, around 80 goblin + 20 Trolls.

10 Swordmasters + 8 Basic Markdwarves..

"We will make a last stand on the southern bridge! We will die for ROOMEAR!"

...

(10 minutes later)

"Erhm, sorry.. what happened to the goblins?"
"YOU! PEASANT! START DUMPING ALL THOSE BODIES IN THE DUMP!"  ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on December 31, 2013, 08:40:31 am
No, bridges are _not_ constructions. If they're made from a non-magmasafe material, they'll break apart if covered in magma. Fortunately, i was prepared for the magma flood on the level below - just needed to declare a pitchblende door locked. The resultant cave-ins in the casting process caused splashing and enclosed magma pockets in the obsidian layer, though, and my foolish attempt to just channel them out lost me 5,5% of my adult population - my broker/miner/gemcutter: she was washed into the magma by dropping water and made into a statue of herself. Damn. I nuked the other two pockets via cave-in. And now the casting pan has a nice solid obsidian floor instead of the crummy Gnei bridge.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eidre on December 31, 2013, 10:42:16 am
Just decided on a (minor) challenge and embarked on a volcano.  Despite there being a perfectly serviceable plateau on the top level (61 z-levels up), Armok decided to dump my dwarves and all of their stuff on the *extreme cliffs* half-way up the side of the mountain...with no wagon...and it's a very tree-poor site.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KingBacon on December 31, 2013, 12:24:01 pm
So I just tapped a magma tube and a fisherdorf has caught fire. Except none of his clothes are burning and he isn't taking damage.... temp is on. Gonna dig down to the caverns and find some water for the poor sod. Hope this doesn't end badly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: wer6 on December 31, 2013, 05:09:40 pm
Quote from: KingBacon on December 31, 2013, 12:24:01 pm
So I just tapped a magma tube and a fisherdorf has caught fire. Except none of his clothes are burning and he isn't taking damage.... temp is on. Gonna dig down to the caverns and find some water for the poor sod. Hope this doesn't end badly.
He probably has no fat on him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on January 01, 2014, 04:56:12 pm
I'd been wondering why my marksdwarves hadn't been using any of the hundreds of bolts I had made for them.

(http://i41.tinypic.com/ir8dg9.png)

I issued them to the wrong fucking squad. The Hammerheads are a hammerdwarf squad. As in not marksdwarves. I haven't been able to deploy the marksdwarf squad (the Wolverines) because I had derped and not noticed their ammo was ear marked for guys who wouldn't even use it. Been a while since I facepalmed over military management.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doktoro Reichard on January 04, 2014, 08:41:48 pm
A Possessed Ranger created an Artifact gabbro puzzlebox, that's worth nearly as much as my whole fortress combined.

(http://i.imgur.com/JNPqvQU.png)

What's puzzling is why is this artifact worth so much. Maybe Armok will send a !!FUN!! test down the road.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on January 04, 2014, 09:08:40 pm
Not seeing the facepalm, also, I notice that your booze supplies are dangerously low.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doktoro Reichard on January 04, 2014, 09:24:47 pm
Quote from: smjjames on January 04, 2014, 09:08:40 pm
Not seeing the facepalm, also, I notice that your booze supplies are dangerously low.

I'm somewhat new to the game, so the definition of facepalm may differ from perspective. The booze supplies got that low because I've ordered my dwarves to fetch about 800 single stone mugs to a trader and forgot to relieve the "master" Brewer of his hauling duties.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on January 04, 2014, 09:57:37 pm
You should invest in bins and I generally make my farmers the brewer as well and turn off hauling duties for all of them. Except for the first few seasons until the workforce builds up enough to take up the slack.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on January 04, 2014, 09:59:05 pm
Quote from: Doktoro Reichard on January 04, 2014, 08:41:48 pm
A Possessed Ranger created an Artifact gabbro puzzlebox, that's worth nearly as much as my whole fortress combined.

What's puzzling is why is this artifact worth so much. Maybe Armok will send a !!FUN!! test down the road.

Simple: native gold and almandine decorations. A decoration has a base value of 10, artefact quality has a value multiplier of 120, native gold has a value multiplier of 30 and almandine one of 20. It all multiplies up, so you get 2x native gold decoration for 2x36.000☼ and 2x almandine for 24.000☼ each, sum 120.000. And right enough, there's only the puzzlebox itself and two more mundane-material decos left, giving a further 3600, so it works out to the correct value.

Bummer that it was a possession, a legendary stonecrafter is quite useful for easy trade crafts and rock pots.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on January 05, 2014, 10:26:36 am
Quote from: Doktoro Reichard on January 04, 2014, 09:24:47 pm
The booze supplies got that low because I've ordered my dwarves to fetch about 800 single stone mugs to a trader and forgot to relieve the "master" Brewer of his hauling duties.
If you've got open water, it's fine. Multiple dwarves can drink from water that's right at their feet.

It's a bit of a pain when you get low enough on booze that dwarves start to fill their waterskins with water, because they'll be drinking that water for a while.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doktoro Reichard on January 05, 2014, 12:53:14 pm
Quote from: smjjames on January 04, 2014, 09:57:37 pm
You should invest in bins and I generally make my farmers the brewer as well and turn off hauling duties for all of them. Except for the first few seasons until the workforce builds up enough to take up the slack.

I've embarked in a place with virtually no wood, and also no weapons-grade metal, so I couldn't breach the caverns safely. Making bins out of gold seems heavy and considering the dumbness of my dwarves...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on January 05, 2014, 01:22:47 pm
Quote from: Doktoro Reichard on January 05, 2014, 12:53:14 pm
Quote from: smjjames on January 04, 2014, 09:57:37 pm
You should invest in bins and I generally make my farmers the brewer as well and turn off hauling duties for all of them. Except for the first few seasons until the workforce builds up enough to take up the slack.

I've embarked in a place with virtually no wood, and also no weapons-grade metal, so I couldn't breach the caverns safely. Making bins out of gold seems heavy and considering the dumbness of my dwarves...

Yea, good point. The caravans bring lots of wood, so you should be able to get some soon if you're low on wood.

Also, you can make large pots out of stone, which will free up wood for use in bins.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drewigi on January 05, 2014, 01:32:51 pm
Went to haunted evil biome, lost within 2 minutes of gameplay  >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Proto105 on January 05, 2014, 02:22:44 pm
Quote from: Drewigi on January 05, 2014, 01:32:51 pm
Went to haunted evil biome, lost within 2 minutes of gameplay  >:(
What happened?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McOriginalname on January 05, 2014, 06:04:48 pm
In my second attempt at DF i had no idea about wells and as the winter came my river froze , but only in the last week of winter I saw the first victim of dehydration because i unconsciously had stacked up on metric ton of booze from embark and the first caravan , but as my people fell from my lack of knowledge , about 7 dwarfs survived and there was one special beekeeper who caught my eye as his dehydrated body blindly rushed to the now flowing spring river.
While he was as i imagine shoving his whole face under water , a sea lamprey took a swing at him. Being the clumsy beekeeper we all love , he fell in the river.

And there i was , looking at the screen for 5 minutes as the message "Urist Mcbeekeeper has died of dehydration" was floating on the screen.

After that fort was done i knew DF was a game for me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KingBacon on January 05, 2014, 07:28:29 pm
Quote from: Proto105 on January 05, 2014, 02:22:44 pm
Quote from: Drewigi on January 05, 2014, 01:32:51 pm
Went to haunted evil biome, lost within 2 minutes of gameplay  >:(
What happened?

Ravens. It's usually undead ravens.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Proto105 on January 05, 2014, 08:30:41 pm
Husks/thralls or 'just' undead?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on January 05, 2014, 09:09:36 pm
Quote from: smjjames on January 05, 2014, 01:22:47 pm
The caravans bring lots of wood, so you should be able to get some soon if you're low on wood.
Forbidden wood doesn't count towards the traders' estimation of your stocks, so you can pretend to be low on wood. The traders' goods are decided when they spawn -- not sure if it happens per caravan, or per goods-carrying animal.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on January 05, 2014, 09:42:05 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on January 05, 2014, 09:09:36 pm
Quote from: smjjames on January 05, 2014, 01:22:47 pm
The caravans bring lots of wood, so you should be able to get some soon if you're low on wood.
Forbidden wood doesn't count towards the traders' estimation of your stocks, so you can pretend to be low on wood. The traders' goods are decided when they spawn -- not sure if it happens per caravan, or per goods-carrying animal.

True, but I was speaking of when your wood supplies actually are low, which is doktoros situation.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on January 05, 2014, 10:10:21 pm
Yup, but hiding all the logs means you can keep more around if you suddenly need a lot of something else.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bonesinger on January 06, 2014, 10:48:56 pm
There was this time I decided to embark on an evil biome with terrifying wilderness. I hadn't read the wiki or any forum post about all the bad fun stuff it provides.
I take a look at the map, the trees are quite dead, but at least the river looked good enough. Unpause, immediately comes an evil cloud. It gets a single dwarf, which becomes a zombie and, since none of my dwarves had any military skill, they all became zombies, one by one.
Okay, now I know evil clouds are evil, I prepare to quickly dig anything and hide my dorfs there!
Reclaim, embark, unpause, a few moments later, ambush! It's one of the original settlers! I really didn't expect that they would appear there. Anyway, the reclaim failed, then i decided to cheat. All 7 dwarves high master fighters, dodgers and other military skills, all equipped with steel gear and weapons. A lot of resources to endure at least a year and let's embark!
Before unpausing, I put all dwarves under a squad and get ready to order a kill. Unpause, 3 zombies in sight. Attack! And they start fighting! And more zombies appear! And I see some hacked off parts reanimating and attacking my dorfs. And that's when I notice that I simply have no chance here anymore. And to add insult to injury, another frakking evil cloud got ALL of my dwarves. Armokfrikkindamit!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on January 07, 2014, 08:59:06 pm
Pit:  2 gorlak
Restrain:1 necromancer, human fisher


So I modify an archers arena for a necromancer.  I dig out an area for it, and put the access to it inside the containnent area.  I have a bridge up, space is tight, why not?  I assign the jobs simultaneously, and the gorlak gets pitted first.  I hear about this as, Blah, dwarven baby has bled to death.  Tge mother drops the nowzombie baby who then procedes to pommel her with tge gorlak.  Military was barracked down the hall, but could not respond in time to save her.

Killed by your own child . . . zombie.

Also screwed up the gcs silk farm, but I can fix that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mirrizin on January 08, 2014, 08:34:08 pm
So, my soldiers had driven off their first goblin siege with no casualties, except for the poor baby stuck on the axedwarf's back. The mother was grief stricken.

So I went down, saw the coffin that the baby was going in, and prepared a slab. Then I look down, and I see "Urist McBreeder cancels bury corpse, seeking infant."

Oh myyyy...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pukako on January 10, 2014, 02:13:27 am
My legendary military strode out over the bridge over the magma pool, looking to kill the lone remaining goblin crossbowman.

I didn't expect three of them to dive off the bridge to avoid bolts.

The goblin only has one arm, for crying out loud....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KingBacon on January 10, 2014, 09:23:02 am
Quote from: Pukako on January 10, 2014, 02:13:27 am
My legendary military strode out over the bridge over the magma pool, looking to kill the lone remaining goblin crossbowman.

I didn't expect three of them to dive off the bridge to avoid bolts.

The goblin only has one arm, for crying out loud....

And that is why I abandoned my fort in the middle of a massive magma pool I dug out...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dnamein on January 16, 2014, 06:29:10 pm
Hey! It's my first post on this forum. Please, forgive me my bad english:(

So there was this vampire I found in my fortress. After I found who he was, I decided to convict him for all his crimes. My hammerer immedialety took him away to his new home - a prison cell. Having my own good thoughts about this event, I went away to take care of other things.

After few months, while I was checking stocks in my hospital, I saw one of my medics conducting surgery on him. Turns out, somehow, he ended up with few broken bones, few cut open wounds and... "cannot breath" status...

After seeing that, I checked his cell - everything was in blood. I thought that my hammerer decided that his sins require something more then just eternal prison...

At least I thought it was because that back then...

Soon after, I started to be curious about strange operations conducted on vampire aprox. once per month. During first year of his hospitalisation nothing changed in his status - he spent that time on one of the hospital beds with broken bones, cut open wounds and of course... he couldn't breath all that time. Many evil questions started to appear in my head. Why my doctor was doing something to this vampire if it's not helping him? Is he experimenting with some new drugs on him? New sewing techniques? And more: Did he bribe my hammerer to bring him perfect test subject? What can be better in this role then dwarf, that cannot die?

I did meditate on this event for next year, hoping for some change, but nothing happened (exept, of course, new mysterious operations). I decided to remove bed under vampire, and see what will happen.

Well... I am sure he was happy to finally, after two years, be able to see whats after doors leading out of hospital. Problem was that... he couldn't walk. He was crawling on the floor, slowly moving to the meeting hall.

His tragic history took my heart, and I made him special place, with gold furniture and engraved walls. After month of crawling there, my best mason constructed a gold wall in the only way out from there. I was going to give him some record keeping job for a upcoming long and lonely life (but at least away from my mad doctor and hammerer), but unfortenately, he was unable to properly write with his hands also...

Since today, he is sitting there. Happy, admiring marvelous gold furniture, with broken bones, cut open wounds and of course... not breathing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWellTrainedFerret on January 19, 2014, 11:08:16 am
So it's 3am, I'm really tired and maybe even a tiny bit drunk. I decide to install an automated garbage disposal system in my fort. So I set up an atom smasher, link it to a very basic water based repeater, then channel out a hole directly above it and designate it as a dump zone. See the problem yet? Well if not let me explain. In my obviously less than 100% mental state, it simply slipped my mind: "wait, what happens if they dump all those non-masterwork beds, cabinets, coffers, mechanism, etc and the atom smasher is in the lowered state?" Well, I found out fast enough. With the very first mass dump ordered, I had pretty much the entire fort standing right next to that hole as several hundred pieces of stone furniture came flying back out at extreme velocities.

In a single messy instant, about 70% of my fort was turned into chunky salsa.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 4maskwolf on January 19, 2014, 09:16:57 pm
Quote from: AWellTrainedFerret on January 19, 2014, 11:08:16 am
So it's 3am, I'm really tired and maybe even a tiny bit drunk. I decide to install an automated garbage disposal system in my fort. So I set up an atom smasher, link it to a very basic water based repeater, then channel out a hole directly above it and designate it as a dump zone. See the problem yet? Well if not let me explain. In my obviously less than 100% mental state, it simply slipped my mind: "wait, what happens if they dump all those non-masterwork beds, cabinets, coffers, mechanism, etc and the atom smasher is in the lowered state?" Well, I found out fast enough. With the very first mass dump ordered, I had pretty much the entire fort standing right next to that hole as several hundred pieces of stone furniture came flying back out at extreme velocities.

In a single messy instant, about 70% of my fort was turned into chunky salsa.

I've had this happen on a lesser scale, because I didn't realize a bridge had to have a ceiling above it to atom smash both directions.  So I kept wondering why I kept finding craptons of goblin clothing scattered around the above-ground section of the atom-smasher.  Then I wisened up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BenLubar on January 20, 2014, 02:13:27 am
Quote from: AWellTrainedFerret on January 19, 2014, 11:08:16 am
So it's 3am, I'm really tired and maybe even a tiny bit drunk. I decide to install an automated garbage disposal system in my fort. So I set up an atom smasher, link it to a very basic water based repeater, then channel out a hole directly above it and designate it as a dump zone. See the problem yet? Well if not let me explain. In my obviously less than 100% mental state, it simply slipped my mind: "wait, what happens if they dump all those non-masterwork beds, cabinets, coffers, mechanism, etc and the atom smasher is in the lowered state?" Well, I found out fast enough. With the very first mass dump ordered, I had pretty much the entire fort standing right next to that hole as several hundred pieces of stone furniture came flying back out at extreme velocities.

In a single messy instant, about 70% of my fort was turned into chunky salsa.

Dwarf Fortress: like kerbal space program, but with a higher chance of failure due to tiny details.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on January 20, 2014, 04:37:48 am
Quote from: BenLubar on January 20, 2014, 02:13:27 am
Quote from: AWellTrainedFerret on January 19, 2014, 11:08:16 am
So it's 3am, I'm really tired and maybe even a tiny bit drunk. I decide to install an automated garbage disposal system in my fort. So I set up an atom smasher, link it to a very basic water based repeater, then channel out a hole directly above it and designate it as a dump zone. See the problem yet? Well if not let me explain. In my obviously less than 100% mental state, it simply slipped my mind: "wait, what happens if they dump all those non-masterwork beds, cabinets, coffers, mechanism, etc and the atom smasher is in the lowered state?" Well, I found out fast enough. With the very first mass dump ordered, I had pretty much the entire fort standing right next to that hole as several hundred pieces of stone furniture came flying back out at extreme velocities.

In a single messy instant, about 70% of my fort was turned into chunky salsa.

Dwarf Fortress: like kerbal space program, but with a higher chance of failure due to tiny details.

KSP focuses far too much on fancy three-dimensional graphics. It could be so much more !!FUN!!...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Whackjob on January 22, 2014, 02:36:08 pm
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on January 20, 2014, 04:37:48 am
KSP focuses far too much on fancy three-dimensional graphics. It could be so much more !!FUN!!...

I got it covered.

(http://i.imgur.com/Cq7t5t2.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: cyberTripping on January 22, 2014, 05:14:56 pm
Wha- what the hell did you do?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ancistrus on January 22, 2014, 06:55:38 pm
My fortress has been horribly boring and devoid of fun recently. I didn't understand what was going on. Then I closely inspected the d_init.txt and found a line [INVADERS:YEs]
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lielac on January 22, 2014, 07:04:52 pm
Quote from: ancistrus on January 22, 2014, 06:55:38 pm
My fortress has been horribly boring and devoid of fun recently. I didn't understand what was going on. Then I closely inspected the d_init.txt and found a line [INVADERS:YEs]

-ugly laughter-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr.Mountain on January 22, 2014, 09:09:24 pm
I just finished playing one of my fortresses, and I remember the first enemy that showed up at my fort. It was a weremonitor-lizard, with dark brown scales that were set wide apart. He interrupted one of my fishers while he was fishing (I assume it was the fisher that found him in the first place, lurking in the waters of the river). The fisher backed away from the river quickly, and I already had my little militia (3 dwarves..) rushing forth to defend their home and brethren. Strangely enough, the fisher just stopped a solid 7 tiles away from the thing. They literally stared at each other for five seconds (in my head, I imagine the weremoniter-lizard slowly rising from the river while the fisher stares in horror). Anyway, after those five seconds, the weremoniter-lizard dashed at my fisher with what has to be the fastest speed I've ever seen anything move with in dwarf fortress. BUT, he just so happens to turn into peasant human form when he was just a tile away from the fisher, which is when my militia arrived (and the fisher started fleeing) and tore asunder what I soon found out to be was a human child.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AWellTrainedFerret on January 22, 2014, 09:49:41 pm
Well, lack of sleep and maybe a little alcohol strikes again. I designated 2 5x5 floors to be built....attached to a bridge. A high traffic bridge. First tile was built and immediately collapsed, knocking no less than 5 dorfs off the bridge, a 25z level fall. Luckily, I have prepared myself for the eventuality of my own stupidity, and every single dorf in my fort is wearing a helm, chain mail, greaves, and high boots of masterwork steel at all times. No deaths, but unfortunately 2 of my full time soldiers suffered wounds that will permanently hinder their ability to grasp, making them less effective in combat.

Never underestimate the usefulness of a steel helm! I guarantee that without helms, all 5 would have died.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doktoro Reichard on January 23, 2014, 07:07:34 am
Here I was, completely tired of having cages and cages filled with goblins wearing valuable goblinite. So, I thought:

"Wouldn't it be grand if somehow they exploded and left their gear behind"

I had a very deep staircase that I've rigged up in order for it to be a Pit of Death. The only staircase connecting all levels.

As soon as I began to drop the goblins into their inevitable doom, I began receiving warnings about my dwarves getting too injured. Injured? From picking up goblins? Turns out the goblins falling down the staircase also "grabbed" the dwarves coming up from their mass dumping duties. They were carrying heavy rocks, that also tumbled down with them.

When I noticed the happening, I had lost about 70 dwarves. And a very neat pile of corpses and blood lying 60 floors down.

Oh, and best part of all, I now read about how to reclaim and strip all gear from caged prisoners at the wiki, without resorting to complicated gimmicks or injuring my dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: monjoe on January 23, 2014, 11:31:58 am
I have a pasture around my entrance and I started to build a wall around it. To kill two birds with one stone (terrible pun intended) I also made the pasture a garbage dump and selected a bunch of rocks in my fort to dump. My entrance is a channeled down road so part of the pasture zone is empty space. I go do other things and start seeing announcements about dorfs being unconscious. I get confused and figure out what's going on. Turns out dorfs would move to the pasture and dump the rocks over the empty space, onto the heads of their buddies. I realized too late and now I have a bunch of dwarfs in the hospital and at least one dead. The silver lining is that I have discovered a new way to murder.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: brokegamer on January 26, 2014, 12:56:09 pm
Quote from: Doktoro Reichard on January 23, 2014, 07:07:34 am
Oh, and best part of all, I now read about how to reclaim and strip all gear from caged prisoners at the wiki, without resorting to complicated gimmicks or injuring my dwarves.

Related to that, for the longest time I thought dumps and refuse piles were functionally identical and couldn't understand why my dorfs wouldn't dump anything  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: VerdantSF on January 26, 2014, 07:25:18 pm
Quote from: Mr.Mountain on January 22, 2014, 09:09:24 pm
They literally stared at each other for five seconds (in my head, I imagine the weremoniter-lizard slowly rising from the river while the fisher stares in horror). Anyway, after those five seconds, the weremoniter-lizard dashed at my fisher with what has to be the fastest speed I've ever seen anything move with in dwarf fortress. BUT, he just so happens to turn into peasant human form when he was just a tile away from the fisher, which is when my militia arrived (and the fisher started fleeing) and tore asunder what I soon found out to be was a human child.

Hehe, it's awesome when a "THAT'S DWARF FORTRESS" moment happens to an enemy :D.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Whackjob on January 26, 2014, 07:41:05 pm
I embark on a site.  Lots of wood, flux stone, shallow metal, deep metal.

I start to dig.  One layer of dirt then... obsidian?!  Three layers worth!  And under that, chalk and iron ore!   Better than a gold mine!  I start cranking out obsidian swords and start stuffing weapons traps with them everywhere I can reach.  I begin smelting the ores and setting up quantum stockpiles to make everything even more efficient.

Game crashes.  I go back, play from last save, crash.  I scootch up the save to later and later in time, and track down the problem.  A dwarf, carrying a loaded minecart, drops it on a cart stop that dumps the ore.  Game crashed every time he put the minecart down.  I tried everything I could think of, but the save was ruined.

I will never again find such a nice site.  :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on January 26, 2014, 09:01:22 pm
Quote from: Whackjob on January 26, 2014, 07:41:05 pm
I embark on a site.  Lots of wood, flux stone, shallow metal, deep metal.

I start to dig.  One layer of dirt then... obsidian?!  Three layers worth!  And under that, chalk and iron ore!   Better than a gold mine!  I start cranking out obsidian swords and start stuffing weapons traps with them everywhere I can reach.  I begin smelting the ores and setting up quantum stockpiles to make everything even more efficient.

Game crashes.  I go back, play from last save, crash.  I scootch up the save to later and later in time, and track down the problem.  A dwarf, carrying a loaded minecart, drops it on a cart stop that dumps the ore.  Game crashed every time he put the minecart down.  I tried everything I could think of, but the save was ruined.

I will never again find such a nice site.  :(

Do you have the parameters and embark location for the site? Sounds like it'd be fun to go bughunting.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on January 27, 2014, 02:00:32 pm
Quote from: Whackjob on January 26, 2014, 07:41:05 pm
I tried everything I could think of, but the save was ruined.
I've found civilian alerts for tiny, out of the way burrows to be effective at interrupting stubborn jobs (Overseer cancels Mass Dump Order: Wrong dump zone). Was that something you tried?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cerol Lenslens on January 28, 2014, 04:16:26 am
Disregard, wrong thread.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on January 28, 2014, 05:00:50 pm
a migrant wave showed and as usual, i checked the stat of every single one of them. there was one with fairly good overall attributes (agile, mighty, slow to tire).

when I drafted him, I realized his left arm was missing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on January 28, 2014, 07:32:19 pm
Oh, that's alright. The only difference between a one-armed dwarf and a two-armed dwarf is that the one-armed dwarf can't afford to lose an arm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on January 28, 2014, 09:11:26 pm
I just made the dwarf with grudges against a good quarter of my fort my CMD...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tarzanello on January 29, 2014, 09:11:39 am
A Roc arrived. I was pretty happy as I had a Great Animal Trainer and lots of cage traps laying around just in case. But one lonely hunter was too slow and didn't reach the "safe zone" underground. The Roc caught up with her, took her baby and ripped it to shreds. The lonely and unassuming hunter replied by shooting a bolt in the beast's poor wing. Mr (or mrs., didn't check) Roc came down crashing, the poor thing: he was just hungry for the blood of innocent souls. Needless to say at that point I decided that I might as well bash his skull as he laid down unconscious so to give my greatly untrained militia some practice. He was not entirely wasted I suppose.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on January 29, 2014, 11:05:21 am
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on January 28, 2014, 09:11:26 pm
I just made the dwarf with grudges against a good quarter of my fort my CMD...

In the next version, the dwarf could even be the sadistic type.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TalonisWolf on January 29, 2014, 07:55:30 pm
Managed to cause a cave-in digging upwards ramps... and I have yet to figure out HOW.  ???
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: reality.auditor on January 30, 2014, 08:21:42 am
Quote from: TalonisWolf on January 29, 2014, 07:55:30 pm
Managed to cause a cave-in digging upwards ramps... and I have yet to figure out HOW.  ???
One possible scenario: you were just under surface and digged up right under surface tree.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MerkerBenson on January 30, 2014, 01:44:25 pm
So, I kept trying to train a captured wombat, and had the cage moved to a stockpile after a few seasons of wasted time on that. Then I got a message: the dwarfs of the Crafts of Planes now know a few things about wombat training
My animal trainer had somehow exchanged places with the wombat :D

Also, as a completely non-related fact, my competent macedwarf militia captain got randomly attached to a steel battleaxe I didn't even know I had lying around :D

PPS: Ironically, I just discovered when looking at a dormitory I have a dwarf with a position "Mayor Vampire"...interesting, how could I have missed that lol

Also, for some reason my macedwarf prefers an axe, my marksdwarf prefers a bronze sword and now they only use that. What's up with that?! :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ColdOneK on January 30, 2014, 11:17:33 pm
With military I always designate the specific weapon to be use in the uniform

m-e to assign uniforms then go to each indiv dwarf and tell them witch weap instead of indiv choice

If you don't have enough weaps when they start training, then get them to train w/out weaps -or they'll choose whatever you have lying around - like the daggers from thieves

--


My face palm moment was when this friggin minotaur shows up - kills everything in 1-2 hit goring or ripping them in half

At this time, I notice my main floor layer, is the layer below the one I removed all the ramps, so it was completely open

So I'm freaking out but he takes my designated entrance to get inside, runs into a human caravan that was coming inside, and gets 1 shot with a silver bolt

to be fair, I had the trader bugs - where traders show up with migrants - and this dude was ripping limbs off as he scratched them

my wtf moment was when I got an AMBUSH notification when a full squad of goblin crossbowmen liesurely had walked all the way through my outer ring of drawbridges
they'd run into a cage trap and stayed there, so I burrowed everyone to ignore them until I came up with the "Front Runner" plan
witch was to draft a peasant from a migrant wave into the military and give him every single war dog I had trained until that point
have him run forward and then send in my military
Thanks to about 20 something war dogs and the peasant that could - !!FUN!! was avoided

Now to my latest one --
Due to bad habit, I always push back making my well - drinking area until its needed - at witch point I just dig to the caves

Well I had flat out derped and tunneled multiple levels witch inevitably caused a cave-in
1 legendary miner/broker with a broken 5 right toe
1 up and coming miner with broken ribs
the rest got bruises - thank god - they only fell 1 z-lvl, imagine if it had been idk 2
so anyway, I start to dig to the cave level since the local brook is frozen solid, and it's late autum
I finally reach it - "You have discovered an expansive cavern"
This fcking cavern is 64 z-lvls deep
so I look at both injured miners relationships and thoughts
the up-an coming miner had a friggin miscarriage
and my legendary miner/broker wouldn't get out of bed because of his broken 5th right toe
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tarzanello on January 31, 2014, 07:49:44 am
This happened my last fortress, but came right to me as Minotaur number four showed up in my current fort (seems like I'm the friggin Minotaur whisperer, I get an average of one every two years ingame, is that common?). This particular Minotaur, I think he was called Tenebrous Yell or something (makes me thing of Hellscream) had an early encounter with a hunter, who riddled him with bolts, and was pretty much done for. So I think, "what a chance to get an awesome kill for my snazzy new champ, which is a Legendary Fighter and Grand Master Axedwarf". So I get this guy drafted in a single man squad and send him to finish the brute. Well, what do you know, the friggin Minotaur SCRATCHED him on the right hand "and the severed part sailed away". I just imagined this dying Minotaur focusing really hard, drawing upon his inner cosmos and karate chopping the living f**k out of this poor fellow's hand.
Well, in the end my champ won, and he lived on to be quite the badass. But I like to think his mates still mocked him about that fight.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ColdOneK on January 31, 2014, 04:44:38 pm
I just had another wtf moment
I embarked on the beach and in the winter.... the FCKING OCEAN FREEZES
not believing the OCEAN would freeze, I had not set up my defense to protect from OCEAN based attacks

a trade caravan shows up to cross the frozen OCEAN...then a migrant wave... then a 2 squad goblinite ambush that slaughtered everything
I didn't even care... I knew it was coming -
I'd dug down to the lava layer, and the only metal I'd found was gold, tetrahedrite, galena, and sphalerite
I'd need to import metal to make armor of decent quality out of something other than copper

I just wanted to make sure I got sand ffs

Quote from Tarzanello
({This happened my last fortress, but came right to me as Minotaur number four showed up in my current fort (seems like I'm the friggin Minotaur whisperer, I get an average of one every two years ingame, is that common?). This particular Minotaur, I think he was called Tenebrous Yell or something (makes me thing of Hellscream) had an early encounter with a hunter, who riddled him with bolts, and was pretty much done for. So I think, "what a chance to get an awesome kill for my snazzy new champ, which is a Legendary Fighter and Grand Master Axedwarf". So I get this guy drafted in a single man squad and send him to finish the brute. Well, what do you know, the friggin Minotaur SCRATCHED him on the right hand "and the severed part sailed away". I just imagined this dying Minotaur focusing really hard, drawing upon his inner cosmos and karate chopping the living f**k out of this poor fellow's hand.
Well, in the end my champ won, and he lived on to be quite the badass. But I like to think his mates still mocked him about that fight.})

yeah I used to usually get minotaurs until my most recent playthrough that gave me ettins that a flat out terrifying
when they're fighting your guys, not when you'd closed up because of the tower siege
and the zombies tear it apart with sheer numbers

Still that's kinda crazy badass when you think about it...
a 4ft tall dwarf runs out warcrying BLOOD FOR ARMOK!! against what must be a 12ft tall minotaur, and only loses a hand

come to think of it
- dwarf fortress should introduce a prosthetics system.... dwarf lost hand - gains claw attatchment
dwarf loses leg - gains sword attatchment - dwarf has puntured lung - gets wooden artificial breathalizer
dwarf loses other leg - gets wheel chair attachment

thought of another facepalm moment - I had a migrant arrive with rank 6 in crutch walker and no other skills
he had both legs - no injuries - no scars
it's like wtf where you doing in your previous fort??
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: VerdantSF on January 31, 2014, 05:19:14 pm
Quote from: ColdOneK on January 31, 2014, 04:44:38 pm
I just had another wtf moment
I embarked on the beach and in the winter.... the FCKING OCEAN FREEZES
not believing the OCEAN would freeze, I had not set up my defense to protect from OCEAN based attacks

Heh, I did the same thing on my first beachside embark.  Fun times.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: muffins on January 31, 2014, 05:21:27 pm
Not even two full years into my fortress. The only metal available was copper, so I was fitting out my single militia squad with copper hammers and armour. My hunters were hunting elephants and bringing in ridiculous amounts of food for my fortress. They had over 800 elephant meat alone stockpiled, for a fortress of just 57 dwarves. I had them butcher the things outside to prevent miasma appearing.

Then a necromancer turned up and I suddenly had undead elephant skeletons running around and killing things outside.

I had no drawbridge, traps or defences other than the dogs and that one squad of hammer dwarves. So I sent them out to try and kill the Necromancer. The undead elephants, and everything they had killed, just swarmed my squad and killed all but one dwarf.

I'd only made enough weapons and armour for that one squad, who were now undead, so the three squads I put together with everyone still alive were unarmed. I threw them at the necromancer in a desperate attempt to kill him before the undead elephants and undead militia wiped everyone out, but they didn't even manage to exit the fortress. There was just so much bad stuff coming down that passageway. I lost a whole fortress in minutes because one guy resurrected my refuse.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on February 01, 2014, 02:28:30 pm
That's why I dig out an area underground to store my refuse pile and assign the pile to also accept corpses. Then adjust (o)rders so that dwarves will gather corpses left outside. Helps keep the outdoors slightly more pretty.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on February 01, 2014, 04:03:20 pm
Quote from: muffins on January 31, 2014, 05:21:27 pm
Not even two full years into my fortress. The only metal available was copper, so I was fitting out my single militia squad with copper hammers and armour.
Aw man, you have copper? I just got my second caravan, and still only have nickel and a little bit of platinum to show for it, those I only just found. On the other hand, I've created an army's worth of wooden crossbows...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on February 01, 2014, 08:36:34 pm
I accidentally built a statue in front of the only entrance to one section of my fortress, didn't realize I had done it until the two dwarves stuck on the other side starved to death...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: the1337doofus on February 02, 2014, 02:36:15 am
Quote from: muffins on January 31, 2014, 05:21:27 pm
Not even two full years into my fortress. The only metal available was copper, so I was fitting out my single militia squad with copper hammers and armour. My hunters were hunting elephants and bringing in ridiculous amounts of food for my fortress. They had over 800 elephant meat alone stockpiled, for a fortress of just 57 dwarves. I had them butcher the things outside to prevent miasma appearing.

Then a necromancer turned up and I suddenly had undead elephant skeletons running around and killing things outside.

I had no drawbridge, traps or defences other than the dogs and that one squad of hammer dwarves. So I sent them out to try and kill the Necromancer. The undead elephants, and everything they had killed, just swarmed my squad and killed all but one dwarf.

I'd only made enough weapons and armour for that one squad, who were now undead, so the three squads I put together with everyone still alive were unarmed. I threw them at the necromancer in a desperate attempt to kill him before the undead elephants and undead militia wiped everyone out, but they didn't even manage to exit the fortress. There was just so much bad stuff coming down that passageway. I lost a whole fortress in minutes because one guy resurrected my refuse.

Undead elephant skeletons...... mother of Armok.....

I was in the middle of a mass smoothing project, and I was cheating by superdwarfing everyone, because smoothing is BOOOOORIIIIIING.
I had no idea fastdwarf existed until yesterday.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drecon on February 02, 2014, 02:42:23 pm
The moment I realized why only half of my animals were being milked.
I actually spent years agonizing over what I was doing wrong. Tried to search for bugs, searched the wiki... and then it hit me.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on February 02, 2014, 10:57:04 pm
males can be milked too. it just doesn't taste good.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: oldark on February 03, 2014, 02:46:30 am
Quote from: ColdOneK on January 31, 2014, 04:44:38 pm

- dwarf fortress should introduce a prosthetics system.... dwarf lost hand - gains claw attatchment
dwarf loses leg - gains sword attatchment - dwarf has puntured lung - gets wooden artificial breathalizer
dwarf loses other leg - gets wheel chair attachment

Can you mod crutches to semi-simulate this? Not sure how possible it may be to do more with modding.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: fricy on February 03, 2014, 04:05:22 am
Quote from: PDF urist master on February 02, 2014, 10:57:04 pm
males can be milked too. it just doesn't taste good.
Spoiler: NSFW (click to show/hide)

Quote from: oldark on February 03, 2014, 02:46:30 am
Can you mod crutches to semi-simulate this? Not sure how possible it may be to do more with modding.
This science project says (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=135129.msg4880364#msg4880364) crutches cannot be modded, however "special" dwarves are awesome. :) Great read!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: muffins on February 03, 2014, 06:27:41 pm
I walled off a forgotten beast in the first set of caves and built an elaborate beastie delivery system with drawbridges etc so I could have him path to the surface during a siege (for giggles) without killing any dwarves. Or at least I thought I'd walled him off. Turns out that diagonal travel includes upwards to the next z-level.

5 dwarves dead and my main crafting hall is now filled with webs.

Edit - and just moments after I kill the damn thing and my mason completes the artifact he was working on. A shale coffin.

(http://imageshack.com/a/img843/3059/rcna.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doktoro Reichard on February 03, 2014, 09:02:53 pm
Quote from: muffins on February 03, 2014, 06:27:41 pm
I walled off a forgotten beast in the first set of caves and built an elaborate beastie delivery system with drawbridges etc so I could have him path to the surface during a siege (for giggles) without killing any dwarves. Or at least I thought I'd walled him off. Turns out that diagonal travel includes upwards to the next z-level.

Just had a similar situation, but replace forgotten beast with clowns. I was building my top of the line shooting range and was picking up the candy cane by designating up/down stairs. When Urist McMiner finally opened the circus door, the clowns came rushing in into the shooting range. My engineers didn't pay much attention and continued shooting, killing half...
... except some were mysteriously disappearing and instead were flooding the magma sea. Only by reading this did I realize that my design leaked clowns.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ColdOneK on February 04, 2014, 12:05:14 am
Quote~oldark~
({"Can you mod crutches to semi-simulate this? Not sure how possible it may be to do more with modding."})

I'm not someone to ask about modding related info lol
would be kinda awesome though

Hell I'm struggling to set up a proper cloth industry, and until today, I'd though for sure that to make glass items, first you'd have to make rough glass
this, as it turns out, is bunk
you just need sand...
now I have crap tons of green glass, and every migrant wave I've been getting have been melee military dwarves with lvl 3 in some weap.
and it'd be one hell of a waste to not set up a badass 50 dwarf melee squad of legendaries
Full hammer with extra from my marksdwarves that don't bother to use their archery targets
missing 2 axe
missing 3 spear
4 sword
1 mace

only problem is that I need to import iron + steel and I keep getting sieged, and I think they realize my only entrance is a tad...dangerous cuz they just stand around like I'll go to them or something
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MerkerBenson on February 04, 2014, 04:37:18 pm
DEDICATION: after a gruesome battle with some goblins in which he nearly lost his right foot, his left foot is torn open, and he lost so much blood a pool was left where he had stood for several weeks out in the cold, the speardwarf Zon Ablellurit got up, filled his waterskin, then went to do some combat drills, with his remaining foot still cut wide open and hopping on it..... after all this...he has been fine lately since he has a room adorned with cool engravings by our resident "Engravelord"... he is a tough dwarf :D

PS: Now he's leading dodging demonstrations, teaching the others how to dodge on one leg, a true master :D
He is not using any crutches and constantly leading drills!!?! How is this even possible lol, I know he's tough, but still....The other dude who just had his arm injured and a rib cracked is still lying on the battlefield lol
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on February 04, 2014, 09:16:53 pm
what are his attributes?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MerkerBenson on February 05, 2014, 03:35:36 am
He doesn't have remarkable stats, 1096 agility(average), 1561 endurance(VERY slow to tire), 859 recuperation(average), 1484 strength(average), 1594 toughness(he's tough), 1237 willpower. Amazing how this guy is even standing, he's also a novice soldier, lvl 2 in most combat skills and 1 in spear... The other dude who got injured is almost dead from dehydration and doesn't move despite no foot damage...and he is is might, almost as tough as Zon here, and greater recuperation...I don't know what to make of this lol
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: g2knee on February 05, 2014, 03:08:34 pm
My most recent face-palm, I was trading a human caravan and they had a caged male drake I bartered for immediately.

"A drake?"  I thought, "How awesome!  I will have this terrible carnivorous, magical reptile creature to defend my fort!  Forget guard dogs...if I can tame this thing my fort will be AWESOME!"

I had visions of goblins being bitten in half by my new pet drake, fearsome in visage.

Then I face-palmed.  A drake is a male duck.


Noun

drake (plural drakes)

    A male duck.

Noun

drake (plural drakes)

    A mayfly used as fishing bait.
    A dragon.  [quotations ▼]
    (historical) A small piece of artillery.  [quotations ▼]
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ColdOneK on February 05, 2014, 04:19:37 pm
priced at 110 dwarf bucks
 ;D

Well look at the bright side, dig down to the caves and set up some cage traps passed a raising drawbridge, and you could cap some giant spiders or crocs

make the drawbridge before breaching - forgotten cave beasts usually have trapavoid apparently...found out today  :P
fliers get caught in cage traps - have a giant bat an some buzzards to prove it
50 lvl 8 or better dwarves armed with the finest copper and silver armor and weapons this crap embark could provide :'( made short work making the damn thing stay forgotten before it could harm a single dwarf lol

after snagging a pair - train them - then have them breed while tamed - don't bother till you get a pair or there's a chance they'll revert to wild after being trained
there is a chance the offspring will be (tame)
you may not be able to train them as war beasts, but if you assign war dogs, they become pets, witch somewhat defeats their purpose

I've done this with elk birds and naked mole dogs - working on giant olms atm but only have a male...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 05, 2014, 08:59:40 pm
Quote from: ColdOneK on February 05, 2014, 04:19:37 pm
after snagging a pair - train them - then have them breed while tamed - don't bother till you get a pair or there's a chance they'll revert to wild after being trained
there is a chance the offspring will be (tame)
Offspring are only Tame if the mother is Tame. If the mother is trained, then the offspring inherit her training level. While the offspring are still children their training can decay to Semi-Wild, but no further. Animals that are trained as children will become Tame, but animals trained as adults will not.

You can train up an animal before you have a breeding pair, especially if the one you have already is female and gives live birth. Either give your dedicated animal trainers little to do, or enable the labour on a number of dwarves and don't assign the animal to anyone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on February 06, 2014, 11:09:03 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on February 05, 2014, 08:59:40 pm

Offspring are only Tame if the mother is Tame.
Actually I'm pretty sure offspring can randomly be tame as long as the mother was trained above a certain level, but you can't "tame" an animal that was wild at any point of its life...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ColdOneK on February 07, 2014, 07:19:00 am
I had a slight problem with elk birds in the caverns, so I set up some cage traps, and caught some of them -
trained them - then placed in nest boxes - they bred
and I had tame elk birds

I slaughtered all the surviving non tame ones
they also starve to death while incubating their eggs - probably a bug - insignificant though

I had the same results with blind/naked mole dogs
but they didn't require nest boxes to breed

they were wild before becoming trained, and breeding tame babies
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on February 07, 2014, 09:23:41 am
"Tame", not "trained"?

What mod are you using? This very demonstrably doesn't happen in the unmodded game - children of "trained" animals inherit their mothers' training grade, they don't start out tame.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on February 07, 2014, 01:34:00 pm
Quote from: Larix on February 07, 2014, 09:23:41 am
"Tame", not "trained"?

What mod are you using? This very demonstrably doesn't happen in the unmodded game - children of "trained" animals inherit their mothers' training grade, they don't start out tame.
No mods, I had it happen with  Dralthas too, perhaps first gen tameness is a possible feature of first level cavern dwellers? Or maybe we just got lucky
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on February 07, 2014, 01:55:48 pm
I've had naked mole pups born that were just trained, not tame. I think tameness is for the third generation of trained creatures. Maybe if your wild animals are trained really well it's possible for their children, the second generation, to be tame but I dunno.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: YvAd on February 07, 2014, 10:29:06 pm
I made my tens of thousands of items, 100 dwarf fort into a quantum stockpile system to condense my crap-strewn-everywhere problem. I set it to accept certain types of refuse(bones and skulls) for crafting.
EVERY item that is affected by wear was worn out and destroyed before i noticed the unhappy thoughts from lack of clothes.... @$#$@#!!!!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 07, 2014, 10:54:18 pm
Quote from: Mr Space Cat on February 07, 2014, 01:55:48 pm
I think tameness is for the third generation of trained creatures.
Might be second generation of trained creatures if you wait for the wild ones to give birth and then train the offspring before they grow up (if that works -- never tried training a wild child creature).

But either way, you're still waiting through one pregnancy and one childhood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on February 08, 2014, 08:37:23 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on February 07, 2014, 10:54:18 pm
Quote from: Mr Space Cat on February 07, 2014, 01:55:48 pm
I think tameness is for the third generation of trained creatures.
Might be second generation of trained creatures if you wait for the wild ones to give birth and then train the offspring before they grow up (if that works -- never tried training a wild child creature).

That's what I meant, yeah. Counted the wild animals that get caught and trained as the first generation. Their children are born "Trained" to some quality, and then the children of those children should be "tame".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on February 09, 2014, 12:13:36 am
I just realized that I had sent in the wrong person to be killed by demons when I saw that the vampires profession was still up in DT, job, drinking blood, and right at that moment ingame, one of my masonry guys died. *facepalm*

In other words, I THOUGHT I had sent in the vampire when I actually didn't.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr Space Cat on February 09, 2014, 01:26:17 pm
Modding in new race based off the body of trolls. Took a while to find why they weren't showing up in arena. After fixing that, I get to see their names drawn in game for the first time.

Apparently, I had misspelled "trollock" as "trollcok". It was just a simple misspelling, but...

TrollCOK.

TrollCOCKS.

I accidentally made a race of troll cocks that would war with everyone and wield giant phallus-like clubs.

*facepalms*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on February 09, 2014, 06:13:38 pm
Quote from: Mr Space Cat on February 09, 2014, 01:26:17 pm
Modding in new race based off the body of trolls. Took a while to find why they weren't showing up in arena. After fixing that, I get to see their names drawn in game for the first time.

Apparently, I had misspelled "trollock" as "trollcok". It was just a simple misspelling, but...

TrollCOK.

TrollCOCKS.

I accidentally made a race of troll cocks that would war with everyone and wield giant phallus-like clubs.

*facepalms*

There isn't an emoticon for how terrified I look right now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: klefenz on February 10, 2014, 06:47:17 am
Quote
I accidentally made a race of troll cocks that would war with everyone and wield giant phallus-like clubs.

The club in question:

**Offensive image removed**

I read that archaeologists often find ancient stone dildos in dig sites, but they don't report them that often.
[/spoiler]
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: brokegamer on February 10, 2014, 08:28:23 am
Quote from: klefenz on February 10, 2014, 06:47:17 am
I read that archaeologists often find ancient stone dildos in dig sites, but they don't report them that often.


They're usually referred to as "fertility symbols" but yeah, even ancient double ended dildos have been found. Boy this got off topic.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: the1337doofus on February 11, 2014, 12:50:55 am
So apparently bridges, walls, and moats don't stop flyers. Death toll: 1 thriving fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: klefenz on February 11, 2014, 05:18:58 am
Quote from: the1337doofus on February 11, 2014, 12:50:55 am
So apparently bridges, walls, and moats don't stop flyers. Death toll: 1 thriving fortress.

Bridges can stop flyers if they block the entrance.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: yaymeh on February 12, 2014, 04:39:21 am
Today, we mourn the legendary Woodcutter Athel Osadalth who after many years of service and slaughtering thousands of trees was finally overwhelmed by his enemies. Two of the sneaky little bastards teamed up, growing right in front of the ramp that he used to walk back to the fortress and blocking his way back home. Hungry, thirsty and tired, he still fought on bravely until the very end, killing one random tree after another the whole time, but it was impossible to find the one who kept him from his family between all of them in time. He was found this morning by a new novice woodcutter, lying starved on a gigantic pile of wood. He will be remembered for many generations by the enormous new wood stockpile the miners had to tunnel out to bury him a midst the trophies that he accumulated during his last battle.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 12, 2014, 06:55:25 pm
Quote from: yaymeh on February 12, 2014, 04:39:21 am
Hungry, thirsty and tired, he still fought on bravely until the very end, killing one random tree after another the whole time, but it was impossible to find the one who kept him from his family between all of them in time.
Nice dramatisation. :)

Assuming you notice in time (eg. 'Hunting Small Creature' in the Units list, oddly hungry/thirsty dwarf in the health screen), you can figure out the blockage by starting from the last known fortress-connected position. Place something, check that the build items list contains a fortress's worth of stuff, but don't actually order anything to be built. Then move the cursor into the felling area until your only materials are a bunch of wood and maybe a few random other things. That'll tell you where the blockage closest to the fortress is, which is probably easier than starting from the trapped woodcutter. Doing it that way, your building item options will change from 'a particular bunch of wood' to 'a different bunch of wood'.

You're not limited to raw materials -- statues, traps, or other furniture will work.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doktoro Reichard on February 13, 2014, 05:48:08 pm
Finished building an amazing dust creator flooring over the 3rd aboveground level of my fortress. Then I wen there and started to build retracting bridges. When those were built. I then began deconstructing the floors that kept the entire structure in place.

Only after breaching the roof, the farm, the goblet and clothes store, the old goblin pen and the obsidian chamber did I realize my mistake:

Bridges don't support floors.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ColdOneK on February 13, 2014, 08:29:00 pm
When I realized you need to assign high boots, gauntlets, gloves, and socks twice for the dipshits militia to equip 2 of each

--also I trained some elk birds - elk birds screwed spored and had kids - kids hatched - mothers died from starvation(apparently a bug)
some kids were trained at various levels - some were tame - some just reverted to semi wild on their way to the butcher
didn't care - tame ones were bred for leather
naked mole dogs couldn't be trained for war and reproduced slowly - useless for industry

do it yourself - it's easy - better with cave crocs - more offspring = more leather = more !!FUN!! - only seen them as mounts though - never seen gcs - only webs
leather is better then cloth - less of a headache to maintain an industry with - if you get the right animals
and it protects haulers better
not to mention masterwork elk bird leather gear probably psyches out cocky goblins that come with them in sieges enough to.. you know get them to not run from the 50 strong army of Master level dwarven warriors...clad in full steel - no candy because that would be...cheating  ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 13, 2014, 09:24:22 pm
Quote from: ColdOneK on February 13, 2014, 08:29:00 pm
--also I trained some elk birds - elk birds screwed spored and had kids - kids hatched - mothers died from starvation(apparently a bug)
Elk birds are grazers. You can rescue the mothers if you get to them quickly enough after the chicks hatch, but there are better ways of getting eggs or horns.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ColdOneK on February 13, 2014, 10:14:35 pm
no you can't - once a grazer gets to starving, i've never been able to save it
for elk birds, its a bug - its even referenced as one on the wiki

I could care less about bones/horns/eggs - I breed massive amounts of them for the leather
since it's less of a headache then growing pig tails/rope reeds - witch I still do for funzies
leather is a much easier industry to manage then cloth - if you're lucky with with what you catch - you don't have to take the time to specify between yarn/silk/cloth with the manager

I get crap tons of fish - meat - plants - 1300 meat - 500 fish - 1400 - plants - 600 drink - 1200 other
I usually embark with brooks

It's also convenient never having to worry about them dying of old age - lol - only the males live long enough
I build nest boxes where they graze btw
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tarzanello on February 14, 2014, 02:21:07 am
Quote from: ColdOneK on February 13, 2014, 08:29:00 pm
When I realized you need to assign high boots, gauntlets, gloves, and socks twice for the dipshits militia to equip 2 of each

You do? Oh crud. Welp, that explains quite a lot actually D:
Thank you kind sir, you have spared countless of dwarves the deep sadness that comes with asymmetry, in clothing and body shapes alike.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on February 14, 2014, 07:52:58 am
Quote from: ColdOneK on February 13, 2014, 08:29:00 pm
When I realized you need to assign high boots, gauntlets, gloves, and socks twice for the dipshits militia to equip 2 of each
This.
And the sad thing is: I have been playing for ... some years (five or six) and I found this mentioned in passing a couple of months ago.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ColdOneK on February 14, 2014, 12:23:33 pm
First fortress I got to survive long enough to start making masterwork steel items and the pricks were only putting one of each on
I'd noticed because I wanted to give my militia commander the masterwork steel mace, while the other guy got an exceptional quality one
he'd only had 1 glove, and 1 high boot
however, he had Armorable or w/e the artifact iron left gauntlet and a masterwork steel gauntlet because he was told by his uniform to do so = ./facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on February 14, 2014, 04:14:11 pm
(http://s30.postimg.org/uh7hs7fa9/Untitled.png)

so this just happened. A GCS sprayed some webs onto my weapon traps and my mace lord happened to walk through it on her way to kill goblins.

quick question. can I assign a crutch to her?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 14, 2014, 05:07:43 pm
Eventually, if she doesn't die of infection.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on February 14, 2014, 06:54:28 pm
she was diagnosed by a dwarf with no eyes. I fear her condition immensely.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 14, 2014, 07:06:16 pm
Doctor: Tell me, does it hurt when I touch here?
Mace Lord: Gahh!
Doctor: Okay, great. Tell me, which part of your body is 'here'?


She has three fractures and three shattered bones (the missing foot doesn't really count here, since stumps don't get infected). Based on a bunch of run-throughs with a dwarf with eight shattered bones, she'll probably be fine if you have soap and a table.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on February 14, 2014, 09:07:23 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on February 14, 2014, 07:06:16 pm
she'll probably be fine if you have soap and a table.
Dwarven healthcare people: tables, cloth, thread, water and soap can cure all your wounds...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ColdOneK on February 14, 2014, 09:55:26 pm
I didn't know there was a way for dwarves to get caught in traps...that they make..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on February 14, 2014, 11:25:57 pm
if dwarves are stunned or webbed, they are vulnerable to their own traps. (I don't think they can dodge either. this was a legendary mace lord with godly stats, legendary shield user and talented dodger yet every attack hit)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: reality.auditor on February 15, 2014, 07:05:26 am
Quote from: ColdOneK on February 13, 2014, 08:29:00 pm
When I realized you need to assign high boots, gauntlets, gloves, and socks twice for the militia to equip 2 of each
What... uh... crap. *facepalm* D:

EDIT: This thread (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=134213.0) says it is needed only when assigning single items, not general uniform.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: fricy on February 15, 2014, 07:54:47 am
Quote from: PDF urist master on February 14, 2014, 11:25:57 pm
if dwarves are stunned or webbed, they are vulnerable to their own traps. (I don't think they can dodge either. this was a legendary mace lord with godly stats, legendary shield user and talented dodger yet every attack hit)

Learned it when I had the "genius" idea to build my silk farm at the fortress entrance trap corridor, so I can repurpose it with the help of a drawbridge as a web trap. Then my legendary squad arrived to fight the invaders right there on top of the webbed traps. Ouch.

Second facepalm was when I sent in the clean-up crew later to take care of the mass: only mistake was that I forgot to raise the drawbridge that separated the tame spider and the bait goblin from the fortress proper. By the time I noticed that all my dwarves freaked out because of the goblin, and were waltzing up and down in the entrance corridor it was too late to find someone to pull the lever...
Palm hits the face through the spectacles bruising the brain.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on February 15, 2014, 08:17:36 am
this is why I put cage traps at the entrance and weapon traps far away from the fort. It just happened that my GCS followed a caravan guard outside.

I made a masterwork platinum crutch for the macelord. with that equipped, I honestly think it might be deadlier than the silver mace she's holding.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on February 15, 2014, 10:04:20 am
and the gem cutter tried to suture with adamantine strands, instead of the thousands of units of silk/plant thread in the hospital.

luckily i forbade it before anything bad happened.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on February 15, 2014, 06:52:06 pm
Quote from: PDF urist master on February 15, 2014, 10:04:20 am
and the gem cutter tried to suture with adamantine strands, instead of the thousands of units of cloth in the hospital.

luckily i forbade it before anything bad happened.
Indestructible stitches sounds like it would be annoying for a demon to pick out of their teeth...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: the1337doofus on February 15, 2014, 09:08:34 pm
I forgot to use magma safe materials in my pump stack. Whoooops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Echostatic on February 16, 2014, 04:08:56 am
I pulled what I thought was the lever to open the drawbridge leading to the cavern. When I started getting spam about job interruptions, I learned that I had actually pulled the lever that released two yak thralls from their pit... Bye bye fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smurfingtonthethird on February 16, 2014, 06:04:01 am
Why did you have that as an option?

Also, finished my magma cart relay. Cart goes down, fills with magma, empties itself into a pit, is dropped, and the process starts again. This was all well and good until about half the fort thought it was a good idea to walk to the magma forges through the minecart track after I started up the quantum stockpilers.

Nuffin like the smell of melting dwarves to make you want to shoot the bastards that survived.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Echostatic on February 16, 2014, 10:07:10 am
Quote from: smurfingtonthethird on February 16, 2014, 06:04:01 am
Why did you have that as an option?

Because some things, like having a lever to open the door to certain death at the hands of unstoppable undead beasts, only looks like a bad idea in retrospect.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on February 16, 2014, 10:46:07 am
big problem with my mace lord. she's not using the crutch I assigned her. by which I mean she's not using any crutch at all. so far her broken bones are healing nicely, status going from red to yellow. she still has 4 infections though.

I forbade, dumped and reclaimed the crutch I want her to use. hopefully it will solve the problem.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Astrid on February 16, 2014, 11:43:58 am
Make another cheap wooden one and try that out simple for the sake of testing i'd say.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on February 16, 2014, 05:52:25 pm
(http://s11.postimg.org/qmg75v8kz/Untitled.png)

well, there goes half my wood. right in the middle of a goblin siege too. by the way, it also shoots webs.

EDIT: good news. I just realized that fire doesn't go up slopes, meaning that it will be contained FTM. also flame based FBs don't actively attack the fort. I'm sending a marksdwarf squad to execute it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on February 16, 2014, 06:37:04 pm
(http://s27.postimg.org/v7dt1ow4j/Untitled.png)

Update, FB neutralized, but it managed to throw a fireball as a last ditched suicide attack. This dwarf somehow took it like a boss and lived to tell the tale! too bad she might go insane soon.

She's not bleeding anymore, but has severe blood loss.

also this game is clearly cheating. A kobold ambush spawned right after a siege and an FB encounter, taking out a dwarf before dying to my speardwarves. humorously, a kobold thief tried to sneak in immediately after said ambush, only to be stabbed to death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on February 16, 2014, 08:29:16 pm
I....

just realized that I....

accidentially atomsmashed...

the adamantine sword from the demon fortress....

at some point.....

*FACEPALM SEPPUKU*

lol XD Shoulda secured the thing long ago. Oh well, it was a 2H sword anyway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on February 16, 2014, 08:32:29 pm
why would they make a sword so big that dwarves couldn't use it?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on February 16, 2014, 08:47:10 pm
Quote from: PDF urist master on February 16, 2014, 08:32:29 pm
why would they make a sword so big that dwarves couldn't use it?

Technically most dwarves can't use it, there are a total of four dwarves in my 149 pop fort that can potentially use it two handed, but can't due to a bug that doesn't account for size variations or something.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 16, 2014, 10:05:10 pm
Quote from: PDF urist master on February 16, 2014, 10:46:07 am
so far her broken bones are healing nicely, status going from red to yellow. she still has 4 infections though.
She'll still probably be fine, since she's stayed alive long enough for the infected bones to heal from red to yellow.

Is she crawling around, or just lying in bed?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on February 16, 2014, 10:07:00 pm
she's currently training with the others. i don't know how she's doing it when she can't even stand, but i admire her spirit.

EDIT: she got the platinum crutch that i assigned her.

Almost all of her wounds her healed except for her left wrist. she only has one infection now, which is on the same wrist.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ColdOneK on February 17, 2014, 01:58:17 am
Quote from: reality.auditor on February 15, 2014, 07:05:26 am
Quote from: ColdOneK on February 13, 2014, 08:29:00 pm
When I realized you need to assign high boots, gauntlets, gloves, and socks twice for the militia to equip 2 of each
What... uh... crap. *facepalm* D:

EDIT: This thread (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=134213.0) says it is needed only when assigning single items, not general uniform.

I could care less what "this thread" says.
I noticed every single friggin member of my militia only had 1 gauntlet and 1 highboot, except for the commander that was specifically assigned an artifact iron gauntlet.
adding two of each to their equipment screen got them to wear 2 of each.

"this thread" lied to you

Edit: since what i've said may not have been obvious - the ONLY person that was assigned a specific piece of equipment - was the militia commander
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on February 17, 2014, 02:25:48 am
I have never had a problem with dwarves putting on only one gauntlet, glove, shoe, sock, etc. I assign paired clothing only once in the uniforms tab, then assign the uniform. Unless the dwarf in question is already overloaded on clothing for that particular spot on their body (already wearing too many socks and shoes, etc.) and unless there are insufficient numbers of the item in question, they always wear two. You may have a bug.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ColdOneK on February 17, 2014, 02:48:44 am
my uniform assignment is
Helm
Hood
Mail Shirt
Breastplate
Cloak
Greaves
Trousers
Gauntlet
Gauntlet
Glove
Glove
High Boot
High Boot
Sock
Sock
Shield
Specific Weap type - ex. Battle Axe - they seem to spar more if you don't let them derp around choosing random garbage like goblinite whips or knives
exact matches
replaces clothing
material changes as I can produce better stuff - copper < Iron < Steel
With this set-up I no longer have issues with dwarves being retarded and leaving their weapon to go dry hump wrestle or play fisticuffs, or any other uniform bug I've seen before using default uniform types - crap got old - fix was found - no issues to date

Legendary from nothing takes 3ish years, and I don't use danger room or elves( I like grizzlies for their epicness as war animals- have one in my fort now, that has a historical fig. name for how many kobolds it has killed )
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Noel.se on February 18, 2014, 11:30:11 am
I remember that I lost my first fort because the water froze. despite the fact that I had hundreds of plump helmets. Of course, when I discovered that I can brew alcohol out of plants and thin air I facepalmed violently.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WanderingKid on February 18, 2014, 12:22:49 pm
Quote from: Ozarck on February 17, 2014, 02:25:48 am
I have never had a problem with dwarves putting on only one gauntlet, glove, shoe, sock, etc. I assign paired clothing only once in the uniforms tab, then assign the uniform. Unless the dwarf in question is already overloaded on clothing for that particular spot on their body (already wearing too many socks and shoes, etc.) and unless there are insufficient numbers of the item in question, they always wear two. You may have a bug.

I have seen this problem in my own forts.  There is certainly a bug, somewhere, in this.  Under most circumstances, you only need to assign it once to a uniform.  However, in one of my forts this particular issue was definitely occurring.  Now, here's the fun part.  It only affected SOME of the soldiers.  I had to double up production.  Once I had two pairs of everything for everyone, I had about 150% of it claimed and 50% lying around a stockpile available.  So, it's inconsistent.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 18, 2014, 12:45:46 pm
I think items are assigned according to order of creation, not order in the uniform. So, you might be able to get a soldier to put on two socks and two boots, but only if those four things were made in the right order.

Usually I assign a 'replace clothing' uniform that includes clothing items. The following uniform results in an appropriate number of gauntlets and boots on each dwarf:

Steel mail shirt
Leather cloak
Leather armour
Steel helm
Leather hood
Leather leggings
Steel gauntlet
Steel high boot
Specific shield
Specific crossbow

Material probably not relevant, but included anyway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on February 18, 2014, 01:09:13 pm
Since I have replace clothing on my melee guys, I don't have any problems with that. However, I have occasionally had problems with picking up weapons and shields, which seems to largely be due to the fact that the equipment screen doesn't properly mark equipment held by other squads as being claimed, same goes for weapons.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ColdOneK on February 18, 2014, 06:56:43 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on February 18, 2014, 12:45:46 pm
I think items are assigned according to order of creation, not order in the uniform. So, you might be able to get a soldier to put on two socks and two boots, but only if those four things were made in the right order.

Usually I assign a 'replace clothing' uniform that includes clothing items. The following uniform results in an appropriate number of gauntlets and boots on each dwarf:

Steel mail shirt
Leather cloak
Leather armour
Steel helm
Leather hood
Leather leggings
Steel gauntlet
Steel high boot
Specific shield
Specific crossbow

Material probably not relevant, but included anyway.
Mail shirt + breastplate is better protection then mail shirt + leath armor - but you're probably going for less weight for w/e reason - marksdwarves are most effective behind fortifications in heavy armor imo, not running around rambo style
Material is relevant - leather is better protection then cloth, and I read somewhere that the dwarves change equip based on item's cost - cloth is usually worth more - I think...
Shield material doesn't change protection, only blunt damg in melee. Quality affect hit chance to a point - same with melee weaps
I personally melt all items below exceptional quality out of arrogance and elitist sentimentality..., so I never have to choose specific items, unless I want Urist McHERO to use artifact "the goblins be bursting" candy Battle Axe
With crossbows, the material only changes blunt damg, the quality affect accuracy. - Bismuth Bronze is best non artifact crossbow material for blunt damg btw
I make 2 sets of "Melee Regalia" uniforms
"Melee Regalia Iron"
"Melee Regalia Steel"
This allows me to send off champions to head other squads, and quickly assign uniform materials to the worthy. Becomes less important as I produce more steel kits though.

Also I have 20/20 steel high boots equipped
20/22 Steel Guantlets equiped - 2 designated for melting, because they did not meet my elitist standards of exceptional +
adding 2 worked for me - but you can chat all you'd like w/out trying it for yourself if that makes ya feel better - won't change it's effectiveness in my forts
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Erils on February 18, 2014, 07:00:51 pm
My dwarf expedition leader was hospitalized after a fight. One of my militia captains tried to "attend a meeting" with him even though he was asleep in the hospital bed. The meeting obviously didn't happen and so my militia captain threw a tantrum and murdered my expedition leader while he slept. The militia captain hasn't faced justice and I don't have a hammerer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 18, 2014, 10:17:56 pm
Quote from: ColdOneK on February 18, 2014, 06:56:43 pm
Mail shirt + breastplate is better protection then mail shirt + leath armor - but you're probably going for less weight for w/e reason - marksdwarves are most effective behind fortifications in heavy armor imo, not running around rambo style
They are essentially civvies. But since they're armed with ranged weapons, they stand and fight instead of running away, so in case of unexpected attack they have some extra metal compared to the rest of the civilians. Metal greaves or leggings would slow them down a bit, especially if I switched to metal bolts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ColdOneK on February 19, 2014, 08:51:16 am
I figured it was gear you'd used for your marskdwarves lol

Personally, when I get far along into a fort , I'll draft my favorite beards and give them battle axes+shields
I want them to default to running - in case the enemy is ranged
but if the enemy is melee and they get caught, I want them to be more durable + possibly lethal in response

Other then that, the only "civy" profession that will stand and fight w/out being in an activated military, have hunting enabled
I always disable that when I start getting ambushes + sieges...until I can open caverns at least
because hunting is far better training then targets.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aristion on February 19, 2014, 06:58:08 pm
Generated a new world. By year 200, the world fell apart. The current age is "The Age of the Elf". Currently 500+ years of the elven rule....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on February 19, 2014, 08:20:51 pm
A recent goblin squad got stuck next to a marksdwarf turret.

I sent a kill order for my dwarves but they started attacking a bunch of coati men 55 tiles away from the goblins. the bolts literally could not reach them and stopped short. While the range is impressive, they're not killing my primary threat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wolf1026 on February 19, 2014, 10:37:37 pm
When a bull managed to kill a Minotaur after about 10 minutes with no assistance, while everyone was in civilian alerts waiting for the Minotaur to fall to the cage traps.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ColdOneK on February 19, 2014, 11:30:45 pm
Quote from: PDF urist master on February 19, 2014, 08:20:51 pm
A recent goblin squad got stuck next to a marksdwarf turret.

I sent a kill order for my dwarves but they started attacking a bunch of coati men 55 tiles away from the goblins. the bolts literally could not reach them and stopped short. While the range is impressive, they're not killing my primary threat.

*whispers* hey...they probably can't aim at them - if the goblins are too close to the turret
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on February 19, 2014, 11:44:32 pm
when I had them stationed on the turret, they could aim just fine, one of them even headshotted a goblin.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tarzanello on February 20, 2014, 04:07:22 am
Quote from: Wolf1026 on February 19, 2014, 10:37:37 pm
When a bull managed to kill a Minotaur after about 10 minutes with no assistance, while everyone was in civilian alerts waiting for the Minotaur to fall to the cage traps.

Maybe the Minotaur couldn't bring himself to strike his dad back...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ColdOneK on February 20, 2014, 12:56:28 pm
Quote from: PDF urist master on February 19, 2014, 11:44:32 pm
when I had them stationed on the turret, they could aim just fine, one of them even headshotted a goblin.

What I meant was ranged stationed a level above the ground have a minimum range from the tower that they can't hit goblins.
I don't excessively use marksdwarves, but I believe it's 5ish tiles per level.
so a tower one zlevel from the ground with marksdwarves wouldn't be able to hit goblins standing 5ish tiles or less from the wall

I know there's something like that for ballistae at least.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WanderingKid on February 20, 2014, 10:44:33 pm
Quote from: ColdOneK on February 20, 2014, 12:56:28 pm
I know there's something like that for ballistae at least.
Marksdwarves can shoot practically straight down through fortifications.  It's roughly 1:1 up to out as a safe zone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ColdOneK on February 21, 2014, 03:14:20 am
my mistake  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Borge on February 23, 2014, 09:13:58 am
I was channeling out 2 z-levels above my legendary dining hall to make it a true legendary dining hall with an engraved conical roof. Instead of channelling one row at a time like a smart mayor would, i just did the entire third Z-level at once. My miner dwarves being the mindless peons they are, took out all the supporting tiles first, causing a massive multi-layer cave-in right on top of my main dining hall, crushing at least 20 men women and children all at once under multiple layers of solid stone, and hospitalising many others with grievous injuries .

 I was bordering on a tantrum spiral but i somehow managed to survive. A sad and humiliating day in the history of my fortress. But at least i have a nice engraved roof for my dining hall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 23, 2014, 10:23:48 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Why isn't this reaction working? It doesn't take any reagents. Oh well, I'll just run it anyway when a mood hits, and keep buying in enough smoky quartzes to keep up with what I should be using."

25 in-game years later, I finally figure it out. All for an A:...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WanderingKid on February 25, 2014, 01:17:43 pm
So I've got this wonderful FB trap setup... I've murdered at least 10 unwanted FB's in it, trying to get a particular one into a web trap.

However, this particular FB refuses to stand 2 away from the bait doors.  No other FB has this problem, just him.  So every time I ALMOST get him into the trap, he screws it up, and I have to open it back up, let other FBs in, who (usually) eat the doors for him and I reset and try again.

On the fourth attempt, I now have 4 FBs in here, all at the wrong range.  One's ON the door, one's right next to it cardinally, and two are a square away at the corner.

ARGH.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lielac on February 25, 2014, 01:31:18 pm
Apply cave-in dust. It should knock them around some so they have to rearrange their door admiration society meeting. Although if you have fliers down there it could allow access to your fortress if you don't wall off the soon-to-be-full-of-holes area before pulling the support's lever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WanderingKid on February 25, 2014, 01:34:11 pm
Quote from: Lielac on February 25, 2014, 01:31:18 pm
Apply cave-in dust. It should knock them around some so they have to rearrange their door admiration society meeting. Although if you have fliers down there it could allow access to your fortress if you don't wall off the soon-to-be-full-of-holes area before pulling the support's lever.

Everyone mentions this, but there's an issue in general with this theory.  Unless you dig mile-wide corridors (I don't), you have to practically dig over the FB's head to clear the space around the cave-in... at which point your miners run away like little girls.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: fricy on February 25, 2014, 01:43:26 pm
Quote from: WanderingKid on February 25, 2014, 01:34:11 pm
Everyone mentions this, but there's an issue in general with this theory.  Unless you dig mile-wide corridors (I don't), you have to practically dig over the FB's head to clear the space around the cave-in... at which point your miners run away like little girls.

Just dig out the rock +1z above the FB, but don't channel it. Then go to +2z and do the cavein preparations there. No freakout that way while you construct the supports, and the cavein will puncture through +1z all right. Unless I'm missing something, it should work.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on February 25, 2014, 04:26:40 pm
I just made a new cisern closer to my hospital and made it 2 water lvls deep to prevent evaporation, but turns out wells only collect water when it's 3 water lvls deep. it's winter now and the murky pools are frozen...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 25, 2014, 05:42:12 pm
Quote from: PDF urist master on February 25, 2014, 04:26:40 pm
wells only collect water when it's 3 water lvls deep.
Buckets can bring up water from wells that are one level deep, but you'll get muddy water.

Or did you mean that you have a cistern filled with 2/7 water? Then again, that wouldn't be very useful, since even if you could draw water with a bucket you'd end up with one 1/7 tile knocking about.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WanderingKid on February 25, 2014, 06:42:27 pm
Quote from: fricy on February 25, 2014, 01:43:26 pm
Quote from: WanderingKid on February 25, 2014, 01:34:11 pm
Everyone mentions this, but there's an issue in general with this theory.  Unless you dig mile-wide corridors (I don't), you have to practically dig over the FB's head to clear the space around the cave-in... at which point your miners run away like little girls.

Just dig out the rock +1z above the FB, but don't channel it. Then go to +2z and do the cavein preparations there. No freakout that way while you construct the supports, and the cavein will puncture through +1z all right. Unless I'm missing something, it should work.

Hm, you're right.  I can't get it close enough to the FB to actually affect him without killing him, but I CAN Cave-in through a solid floor...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on February 25, 2014, 08:02:37 pm
yeah. 2/7 water. a well only drains water by 1/7 when it has been used 10 times. but now i can't even use it. once spring comes, the ice will melt into 7/7 water which will fully fill my cisern, but that's in spring.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 25, 2014, 08:20:35 pm
You could dig out a smaller but deeper cistern and move the water into that, either by pump or by gravity. You'll lose half of it, but the half that's left will be useable.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chaos17 on February 27, 2014, 06:18:53 pm
I spent the night to be trying to build a public bath, to connect the plumbing with a lever took the lead (was a headache) well to me. Finally, I managed to feed my ponds with water and I do not understand the result... My ponds do have 7/7 water tiles...

Why the water does not rise above?!
http://puu.sh/7cSTJ.png

 :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Echostatic on February 27, 2014, 07:26:36 pm
I'm looking thru legends at a virgin world I made, 1050 years of history.

In 215, a dwarf civ attacked a goblin civ. The attackers had 2,283 dwarves, 200 humans, 5 elk birds and 5 cave crocodiles. The defenders had 12 goblins and 2 trolls. Dwarven casualties? 2,192. Goblin casualties? 12...

"Defender was victorious."

...HOW??

Edit: The first THREE battles were all like this. Thousands of troops in the dwarf/human army, killed and defeated by about a dozen goblins and a troll or two, with a couple survivors, and the defenders win and inflict massive casualties. It wasn't until the fourth battle that over 2,500 attackers killed all 19 defenders, while taking almost 2,300 casualties. There were no defenders after this, and the dwarves installed a new government.

Edit 2: I've never looked this deeply into legends before, so maybe all battles go like this? Nope, another war against the same goblin civ hundreds of years later shows thousands of attackers defeating a handful of defenders with no, or very few, losses. Man, those dwarves SUCKED!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on February 27, 2014, 09:13:04 pm
Quote from: Echostatic on February 27, 2014, 07:26:36 pm
I'm looking thru legends at a virgin world I made, 1050 years of history.

In 215, a dwarf civ attacked a goblin civ. The attackers had 2,283 dwarves, 200 humans, 5 elk birds and 5 cave crocodiles. The defenders had 12 goblins and 2 trolls. Dwarven casualties? 2,192. Goblin casualties? 12...

"Defender was victorious."

...HOW??

Edit: The first THREE battles were all like this. Thousands of troops in the dwarf/human army, killed and defeated by about a dozen goblins and a troll or two, with a couple survivors, and the defenders win and inflict massive casualties. It wasn't until the fourth battle that over 2,500 attackers killed all 19 defenders, while taking almost 2,300 casualties. There were no defenders after this, and the dwarves installed a new government.

Edit 2: I've never looked this deeply into legends before, so maybe all battles go like this? Nope, another war against the same goblin civ hundreds of years later shows thousands of attackers defeating a handful of defenders with no, or very few, losses. Man, those dwarves SUCKED!

Did the goblins have a demon?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on February 27, 2014, 10:41:11 pm
Quote from: Chaos17 on February 27, 2014, 06:18:53 pm
Why the water does not rise above?!
http://puu.sh/7cSTJ.png
Go down a level from the screenshot and 'k' over the pond tiles. What you should see is 'muddy ... upward slope', '.../7 water', and 'a ... of mud'.

With ramps, you don't get to see a water level or the ~ sign. You can check this out by looking at a river or murky pool -- although the water goes the way across, you can't see it at the edge. And your ponds are narrow enough to be all edge.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Echostatic on February 27, 2014, 11:36:16 pm
Quote from: Rockphed on February 27, 2014, 09:13:04 pm
Quote from: Echostatic on February 27, 2014, 07:26:36 pm
I'm looking thru legends at a virgin world I made, 1050 years of history.

In 215, a dwarf civ attacked a goblin civ. The attackers had 2,283 dwarves, 200 humans, 5 elk birds and 5 cave crocodiles. The defenders had 12 goblins and 2 trolls. Dwarven casualties? 2,192. Goblin casualties? 12...

"Defender was victorious."

...HOW??

Edit: The first THREE battles were all like this. Thousands of troops in the dwarf/human army, killed and defeated by about a dozen goblins and a troll or two, with a couple survivors, and the defenders win and inflict massive casualties. It wasn't until the fourth battle that over 2,500 attackers killed all 19 defenders, while taking almost 2,300 casualties. There were no defenders after this, and the dwarves installed a new government.

Edit 2: I've never looked this deeply into legends before, so maybe all battles go like this? Nope, another war against the same goblin civ hundreds of years later shows thousands of attackers defeating a handful of defenders with no, or very few, losses. Man, those dwarves SUCKED!

Did the goblins have a demon?

The only defending goblin forces were small numbers of goblins and ogres.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chaos17 on February 28, 2014, 03:03:02 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on February 27, 2014, 10:41:11 pm
Quote from: Chaos17 on February 27, 2014, 06:18:53 pm
Why the water does not rise above?!
http://puu.sh/7cSTJ.png
Go down a level from the screenshot and 'k' over the pond tiles. What you should see is 'muddy ... upward slope', '.../7 water', and 'a ... of mud'.

With ramps, you don't get to see a water level or the ~ sign. You can check this out by looking at a river or murky pool -- although the water goes the way across, you can't see it at the edge. And your ponds are narrow enough to be all edge.

Thank you for this clarification, I was afraid that my efforts were in vain.  ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: reality.auditor on February 28, 2014, 07:10:53 am
Quote from: Echostatic on February 27, 2014, 07:26:36 pm
In 215, a dwarf civ attacked a goblin civ. The attackers had 2,283 dwarves, 200 humans, 5 elk birds and 5 cave crocodiles. The defenders had 12 goblins and 2 trolls. Dwarven casualties? 2,192. Goblin casualties? 12...
"Defender was victorious."
...HOW??
It is because game handles world-gen wars in rather "interesting" way. You see, these battles are done as series of one-on-one fights. So everyone on both sides waits for their turn. I bet after those 12 losses 13th gobo was some buffed mutha that slaughtered almost every dwarf in this attack.
I hope Toady will fix it soon*.

*Defined as "before heat death of universe".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doktoro Reichard on February 28, 2014, 07:20:41 am
Quote from: Echostatic on February 27, 2014, 07:26:36 pm
In 215, a dwarf civ attacked a goblin civ. The attackers had 2,283 dwarves, 200 humans, 5 elk birds and 5 cave crocodiles. The defenders had 12 goblins and 2 trolls. Dwarven casualties? 2,192. Goblin casualties? 12...

"Defender was victorious."

Could you please share your world-gen parameters? I'm looking forward to read into this wonderful goblin paradise...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Echostatic on February 28, 2014, 10:46:15 am
Quote from: Doktoro Reichard on February 28, 2014, 07:20:41 am
Quote from: Echostatic on February 27, 2014, 07:26:36 pm
In 215, a dwarf civ attacked a goblin civ. The attackers had 2,283 dwarves, 200 humans, 5 elk birds and 5 cave crocodiles. The defenders had 12 goblins and 2 trolls. Dwarven casualties? 2,192. Goblin casualties? 12...

"Defender was victorious."

Could you please share your world-gen parameters? I'm looking forward to read into this wonderful goblin paradise...

I wouldn't call it a goblin paradise since they were eventually defeated, had their cities pillaged and a dwarf government installed. I'm afraid I don't know the params, and trashed the world after not finding any embarks that I wanted...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doktoro Reichard on February 28, 2014, 12:18:17 pm
Quote from: Echostatic on February 28, 2014, 10:46:15 am
Quote from: Doktoro Reichard on February 28, 2014, 07:20:41 am
Quote from: Echostatic on February 27, 2014, 07:26:36 pm
In 215, a dwarf civ attacked a goblin civ. The attackers had 2,283 dwarves, 200 humans, 5 elk birds and 5 cave crocodiles. The defenders had 12 goblins and 2 trolls. Dwarven casualties? 2,192. Goblin casualties? 12...

"Defender was victorious."

Could you please share your world-gen parameters? I'm looking forward to read into this wonderful goblin paradise...

I wouldn't call it a goblin paradise since they were eventually defeated, had their cities pillaged and a dwarf government installed. I'm afraid I don't know the params, and trashed the world after not finding any embarks that I wanted...

Oh well... my quest for the ultimate goblin warrior continues.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on February 28, 2014, 06:19:15 pm
Looking at how lopsided sieges in fort mode can be, i don't find those exchanges so unusual. With military, i tend to get something like two or three dead civilians and perhaps one marksdwarf who ended up in melee vs. 80+ dead goblins and trolls. And i think "defenders" only counts the actual soldiers a side has, so civilian casualties might be ignored in the records.

In purely trapped forts, all the action my dwarfs see tends to be "In the autumn of 285, the siege operator Urist McNinnyhammer was startled by a terrible hostile horse a hundred metres, a ditch and a fortification away." I don't think this kind of encounter is tracked in legends.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on March 02, 2014, 02:23:38 pm
More of a whoops than a facepalm.

I used immolate all to do a clearing burn of the caverns and apparently I forgot that my bag quantum stockpile was next to a soil tile, so those, and my seed bags burned, along with all of the seeds. However, it's no problem since a majority of it was accumulated goblin theif bags and I have over 700 each of plump helmets and sun berries. Plus it's an opportunity to use the 500+ leather that I have quantum stockpiled.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DrKillPatient on March 02, 2014, 02:48:47 pm
Quote from: Larix on February 28, 2014, 06:19:15 pm
Looking at how lopsided sieges in fort mode can be, i don't find those exchanges so unusual. With military, i tend to get something like two or three dead civilians and perhaps one marksdwarf who ended up in melee vs. 80+ dead goblins and trolls. And i think "defenders" only counts the actual soldiers a side has, so civilian casualties might be ignored in the records.

In purely trapped forts, all the action my dwarfs see tends to be "In the autumn of 285, the siege operator Urist McNinnyhammer was startled by a terrible hostile horse a hundred metres, a ditch and a fortification away." I don't think this kind of encounter is tracked in legends.

The reason this happens, IIRC, is that worldgen battles are fought one-on-one rather than army-to-army. The first goblin fights the first dwarf; if he beats that dwarf, he fights the next one, etc. So, people can never be "outnumbered" right now — so long as one of the twelve goblins can beat each dwarf in the army individually, he can defeat the entire siege.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lukaslpzi on March 03, 2014, 08:34:48 am
Im starting my first milta, my anvil got stolen, so noone of them have any armor, just random weapons. Baracks with beds, armor stands, wapon racks, and some coffers. Sometimes my soldiers wont train so im waiting to see them wrestle. Yes, they do ! But fiev moments later, one of my soldiers (the capitan) trip on one of beds, hit it hard with his hed and dies... Since then I train my milta in separate empty room.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on March 03, 2014, 10:04:37 am
I don't think you can actually collide with furniture like that in DF.....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grax on March 03, 2014, 12:32:42 pm
(http://th08.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2012/179/1/9/giant__by_kennydalman-d558h4k.jpg)
http://kennydalman.deviantart.com/art/GIANT-311124404
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: IronTomato on March 03, 2014, 01:03:06 pm
That's hilarious. The crying at the end got me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WanderingKid on March 03, 2014, 01:13:12 pm
As much as I love the idea of the towering "How's the weather on that side of the clouds?" giant as the next guy, if anyone's seen the new Hanzel and Gretel (it's cheesy fun, don't judge me. :) ) I really like how they did the troll/giant in that.

It ALMOST works with the square/cube law, and goddamn that thing would just... yeah.  Holy crap.  However, he's not going over any walls, either.  THROUGH maybe...   :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nekoexmachina on March 07, 2014, 05:32:11 pm
My military just finished off a forgotten beast with deadly blood.
My captain and his first man have lost both a left leg in this fight.
Deadly blood apparantly was a muscle-rotting stuff, cause both got numb and both got miasmas around pretty quickly..
I have a special squad of nurses who have only helping wounded labours enabled. And they ignored both of my militaries for so freaking long!
I mumbled around with trying to take em out of squad, stationing them somwhere else, etc, but no one cared, and Nurses had 'No job' for a reaallly long time.
Now the suturing has begun, yes, but it begun after half-a-year of both my best men laying in caverns in pool of crap.
I am disappoint.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on March 07, 2014, 09:48:06 pm
you need more diagnosticians. nurses won't do anything without a diagnosis.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DanielTDS on March 07, 2014, 11:37:29 pm
Yesterday, my recently started new fort has been ambushed by a very dangerous creature. The strongest I have ever seen. Here comes Cisli Honuices, the human... CHILD?

http://postimg.org/image/t5x4rj4cn

Serioulsy, is that meant to happen? Is this normal? What was that?

It wandered into my fort, didn't cause any trouble. But as I had never dealt with this situation before, railed the military, which easily dispatched him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BlackFlyme on March 07, 2014, 11:42:10 pm
Quote from: DanielTDS on March 07, 2014, 11:37:29 pm
Yesterday, my recently started new fort has been ambushed by a very dangerous creature. The strongest I have ever seen. Here comes Cisli Honuices, the human... CHILD?

http://postimg.org/image/t5x4rj4cn

Serioulsy, is that meant to happen? Is this normal? What was that?

It was a were-beast that changed back to human before someone managed to see it.

It happens occasionally, and could have been pretty bad if it managed to bite someone before turning back to human, since were-curses can be transmitted through bites.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Melting Sky on March 08, 2014, 02:52:47 am
I had just finished digging out a mote around my backyard that formed a U up against the ragged cliff face my fortress was dug into. I dug out all the ramps along the cliff to keep enemies from coming in from above... well at least I thought I had dug them all out. So I was sitting nice and snug inside what I thought was my nigh invulnerable fortress waiting for the frontal assault to come through the main entrance only to start receiving a flood of bloody reports coming in about all my live stock and shearers dying horribly in the maws of mounted cave dragons and jabberers out in area I had though I had made unreachable. Eventually after gleefully and flawlessly slaughtering every last grazing animal in the fortress and several of the dwarfs attending to them the goblin army finally assaulted the main entrance and vengeance was had in a hail of bolts, whirring blades and crushing hammers. The final death toll included a few lesser dwarves and a stunning array of farm animals that I had been avidly collecting since the embark.

I curse my stupidity as I bury what remains the poor bastards who were working out in my now blood soaked yard. Then I go about removing the offending ramps that had led to so many lost lives. I have just enough time to buy some meager replacement wool and milk producing livestock from merchants and get a few new settlers assigned to attending them before the goblins return for round two. They come in even greater force riding atop jabberers and cave dragons as before but now there are cave crocodiles and giant rats as well. So I lock down the fort and brace myself at the entrance for what will be a brutal battle and an opportunity for some righteous vengence. The fort's defenses fall into place like a well oiled machine and now its just a matter of waiting for the enemy to charge the gates but for some reason they don't seem to be making their appearance as expected...  My heart sinks. Like a bad case of deja vu, the gory reports of severed dwarf limbs and farm animal pieces arcing through the air start flooding in. My already blood soaked yard is getting a new coat of red paint. Worse yet my master glass maker just happens to be out there collecting sand at the time and he too dies in puddle of his own blood and dismembered body parts. I curse furiously as my eyes catch sight of the culprit. At the far corner of the yard I find another god damn ramp I overlooked. I was so pissed about it this time that I was about to do the unthinkable and save scum but Armock decided to have one final laugh.

"Spring has arrived."

Needless to say I made d*** sure there weren't any more of those accursed ramps present in my yard after that and now any dwarf who has a job that can take them outside has a pack of war dogs (soon to be jabberers) following them around everywhere.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nekoexmachina on March 08, 2014, 02:57:49 am
Quote from: PDF urist master on March 07, 2014, 09:48:06 pm
you need more diagnosticians. nurses won't do anything without a diagnosis.
wait a minute >_>
1) Bring to bed
2) Diagnose
No?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: reality.auditor on March 08, 2014, 06:12:10 am
Quote from: nekoexmachina on March 08, 2014, 02:57:49 am
Quote from: PDF urist master on March 07, 2014, 09:48:06 pm
you need more diagnosticians. nurses won't do anything without a diagnosis.
wait a minute >_>
1) Bring to bed
2) Diagnose
No?

Better advice: medical skills is one of few skills where personality is very important. Better to use dabbling diagnostican that actually likes to help people than immigrant legendary that do not like it.
Find two or three dwarves with highest personal trait about helping people, activate all medical skills, deactivate rest and let them do their thing. It is safe because currently low medical skill influence only speed. No malpractices and horribly botched surgeries yet, sadly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on March 08, 2014, 09:07:54 am
Quote from: nekoexmachina on March 08, 2014, 02:57:49 am
Quote from: PDF urist master on March 07, 2014, 09:48:06 pm
you need more diagnosticians. nurses won't do anything without a diagnosis.
wait a minute >_>
1) Bring to bed
2) Diagnose
No?

No.

Bring to bed is governed by the "recover wounded" labour. Like "give food/water", those jobs are generated the moment the need arises (except when the need is that of a baby or prisoner, in which case they usually fail to be generated at all). Diagnosing the patient is a separate job with its own labour ("Diagnosis"). And it's generated through the separate allocation of healthcare jobs, which is a slow process with its own bugs. Diagnosis requests will only be generated when the patient is properly resting, but it's not an automatic followup job.

When treatment doesn't properly begin until half a year has passed, that's a good sign you were lacking important healthcare labours like diagnosis or the healthcare system wasn't properly set up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: nekoexmachina on March 08, 2014, 10:22:13 am
Again.
I have a bunch of nurses who have only recover wounded & give water enabled.
They ignored my militia commander for a year, while he was lying unconsious on the ground of cavern.
E.g., they had 'No job' for that year.
That seems that by your saying no need was risen for a year.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on March 08, 2014, 11:55:46 am
Quote from: reality.auditor on March 08, 2014, 06:12:10 am
Find two or three dwarves with highest personal trait about helping people, activate all medical skills, deactivate rest and let them do their thing. It is safe because currently low medical skill influence only speed. No malpractices and horribly botched surgeries yet, sadly.
Then, once you've got your few specialists, enable all the medical skills on everybody. Healthcare is really low priority, so the more idle bodies there are capable of responding to a treatment request, the better. (After a while I cut down on medics, leaving the individual jobs enabled only on dwarves who had gained any XP at all. Current count for a 46-adult fortress is between 14 and 32 dwarves for each job.)

If you're feeling nice, you can deactivate the default feeding and recovery jobs on dwarves who will get bad thoughts for doing those labours.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AdeleneDawner on March 09, 2014, 05:36:16 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on March 08, 2014, 11:55:46 am
Healthcare is really low priority...

Unless it's lower priority than 'no job', that obviously wasn't the problem.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Henny on March 09, 2014, 10:09:34 am
I was very careful to build a magmalock bridge out of gabbro, so it wouldn't melt. Which means I was very confused when it deconstructed once the magma flowed over it.

Maybe I should have used something else but rhyolite mechanisms.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on March 09, 2014, 10:44:19 am
Quote from: Henny on March 09, 2014, 10:09:34 am
I was very careful to build a magmalock bridge out of gabbro, so it wouldn't melt. Which means I was very confused when it deconstructed once the magma flowed over it.

Maybe I should have used something else but rhyolite mechanisms.

Yeah, gotta make sure all components are magma safe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FallenAngel on March 09, 2014, 08:46:24 pm
When I brought gems with me...
...and then realized how valuable trap components are.
So, yeah. Just trade an enormous iron corkscrew to the caravan for a bunch of their random metal items to make more corkscrews with and keep doing that.
Yes, trap components are more valuable than a statue of the same material and quality.
Just to let you know, in case anybody was curious.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on March 09, 2014, 10:29:54 pm
You can also bring logs and make spiked balls. Serrated discs are tied with spiked balls for value, but it's possibly more points-efficient to bring just wood instead of the ingredients for metal trap components (don't feel like doing the maths now). It's certainly more time-efficient.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aristion on March 14, 2014, 03:37:56 pm
Just convicted a vampire in my fort for 4 murders of my dwarfs. Punishment: 200 hammer strikes. He put into his cell and is immediatly freed by the same guy who tied him up. No punishment for him it seems.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GrimX on March 14, 2014, 06:14:09 pm
That moment I realized I was spamming serrated discs because I needed to import tools to protect my fort from attack
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: darkflagrance on March 15, 2014, 07:28:28 pm
Quote from: Aristion on March 14, 2014, 03:37:56 pm
Just convicted a vampire in my fort for 4 murders of my dwarfs. Punishment: 200 hammer strikes. He put into his cell and is immediatly freed by the same guy who tied him up. No punishment for him it seems.

He was hammered. Just that being undead the blunt attacks were like a blow from a feather duster.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on March 15, 2014, 08:32:29 pm
just atom smash him and problem solved.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aristion on March 16, 2014, 08:58:56 pm
Quote from: darkflagrance on March 15, 2014, 07:28:28 pm
Quote from: Aristion on March 14, 2014, 03:37:56 pm
Just convicted a vampire in my fort for 4 murders of my dwarfs. Punishment: 200 hammer strikes. He put into his cell and is immediatly freed by the same guy who tied him up. No punishment for him it seems.

He was hammered. Just that being undead the blunt attacks were like a blow from a feather duster.

You completely misunderstood what I said. I said the vampire is chained and after that he is immediately unchained by the same guy who put him there. I never said he was hammered by my hammerer. One of my queens was vampire and was hammered to death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: palu on March 19, 2014, 08:09:23 pm
Discovering that you can set reserved barrels at the stockpile menu. For two years of playing DF I had just been making vast quantities of barrels in hopes that my brewer would be able to grab one or two before my haulers filled them with food.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: the1337doofus on March 19, 2014, 10:28:54 pm
Quote from: palu on March 19, 2014, 08:09:23 pm
Discovering that you can set reserved barrels at the stockpile menu. For two years of playing DF I had just been making vast quantities of barrels in hopes that my brewer would be able to grab one or two before my haulers filled them with food.
.....You can do that? Well, learn something new every day.


Building a canal into your fortress and trying to seal it up with a cave in instead of just installing a floodgate. I tried that once while trying to make an indoor well. It just killed more beards. Stupid, silly, noobie me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sl4very on March 21, 2014, 02:33:07 pm
Quote from: palu on March 19, 2014, 08:09:23 pm
Discovering that you can set reserved barrels at the stockpile menu. For two years of playing DF I had just been making vast quantities of barrels in hopes that my brewer would be able to grab one or two before my haulers filled them with food.



I know this Kind of moment in general! And this special moment in detail, because exact this happens to me too.

The good with it is, that one enjoys his newfound gaming experience like a feature or a patch, instead of dooming himself for doing it laborious in the past.



Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ragnarock on March 24, 2014, 02:01:55 am
Just had a Forgotten Beast invasion from the depths. A skinless crocodile, ondulating regularly. Beware it's deadly blood!

I lost 2 inexperienced soldiers to that bastard, and crippled 4. Croc got killed by the least experienced, lucky strike with a pike.

BUT!...

My favourite militia dorf, Kubuk, was laying on the cavern floor, heavy bleeding and pale.

Urist, one of my threshers, ran to recover him.
He was too late.

BUT!...

I used dfhack, deathcause on Kubuk.

Struck down by Urist, thresher.
I check Urist's kills, there's Kubuk.

No crimes reported in justice screen.

What happened? Any guesses?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: danmanthedog on March 24, 2014, 08:06:16 am
Hmm I would say that when he saw the poor shape of im he decided to put him out of his misser. (Bad spelling because on a proxy.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Magistrum on March 25, 2014, 07:38:33 am
Quote from: Ragnarock on March 24, 2014, 02:01:55 am
Croc got killed by the least experienced, lucky strike with a pike.
Your dwarves can use pikes?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ragnarock on March 26, 2014, 02:09:49 am
Just barely
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Magistrum on March 26, 2014, 06:32:41 am
Quote from: Ragnarock on March 26, 2014, 02:09:49 am
Just barely
Aww...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ragnarock on March 27, 2014, 12:50:28 am
My fort lacks Dwarves of Steel, I've got 14 almost-peasant spear/pike/macedwarves and two sword elites with legendary +2 fighter and sword, in full bloodsteel armor. They usually kill everything that's small, but against anything that has a thick fat/skin layer they're completely useless.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Magistrum on March 27, 2014, 06:53:33 am
Quote from: Ragnarock on March 27, 2014, 12:50:28 am
My fort lacks Dwarves of Steel, I've got 14 almost-peasant spear/pike/macedwarves and two sword elites with legendary +2 fighter and sword, in full bloodsteel armor. They usually kill everything that's small, but against anything that has a thick fat/skin layer they're completely useless.
My master swordsdwarf fend off a roc with ease(well, minus one foot, but that almost don't count), I don't see many problems with swardsdwarves against big enemies...
I thought that pikes couldn't be wield by dwarves at all.
Don't maces do edge damage?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ragnarock on March 27, 2014, 12:56:59 pm
Rocs are childplay. Try Forgotten Beasts.
Maces are blunt as far as I know.

Maybe you're right about the pikes... would explain why a few of my militiamen are professional wrestlers...
Actually...
Let me check.


update: Dorfs can't use pikes. Learned the hard way. Always wondered why would they bash enemies with their shields only...  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Magistrum on March 27, 2014, 03:21:09 pm
lol. just lol.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrsStick on March 28, 2014, 12:56:12 am
Just realized that the king in my world is a dwarf necromancer who ascended to kingship in the year 1. It's now year 629. What are the chances he's still alive? Not sure how to check that out.

Also, if my baron died and I reverted from a barony, what do I need to do to get it back? This world is the first where I've actually HAD a baron, and I'm looking to get to have the king (even if he is a necromancer...haven't faced any of those yet as I haven't tried evil embarks yet).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on March 28, 2014, 04:33:47 am
Quote from: MrsStick on March 28, 2014, 12:56:12 am
Just realized that the king in my world is a dwarf necromancer who ascended to kingship in the year 1. It's now year 629. What are the chances he's still alive? Not sure how to check that out.

Also, if my baron died and I reverted from a barony, what do I need to do to get it back? This world is the first where I've actually HAD a baron, and I'm looking to get to have the king (even if he is a necromancer...haven't faced any of those yet as I haven't tried evil embarks yet).

Necromancer? Immortal.

If your baron dies, a new one is elected (I think). You definitely don't revert.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on March 28, 2014, 04:36:40 am
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on March 28, 2014, 04:33:47 am
Quote from: MrsStick on March 28, 2014, 12:56:12 am
Just realized that the king in my world is a dwarf necromancer who ascended to kingship in the year 1. It's now year 629. What are the chances he's still alive? Not sure how to check that out.

Also, if my baron died and I reverted from a barony, what do I need to do to get it back? This world is the first where I've actually HAD a baron, and I'm looking to get to have the king (even if he is a necromancer...haven't faced any of those yet as I haven't tried evil embarks yet).

Necromancer? Immortal.

If your baron dies, a new one is elected (I think). You definitely don't revert.

EEH, wrong. Complete political stagnation until the next release if the noble dies, at least in the current version.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lolfail0009 on March 28, 2014, 04:40:55 am
Quote from: Splint on March 28, 2014, 04:36:40 am
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on March 28, 2014, 04:33:47 am
Quote from: MrsStick on March 28, 2014, 12:56:12 am
Just realized that the king in my world is a dwarf necromancer who ascended to kingship in the year 1. It's now year 629. What are the chances he's still alive? Not sure how to check that out.

Also, if my baron died and I reverted from a barony, what do I need to do to get it back? This world is the first where I've actually HAD a baron, and I'm looking to get to have the king (even if he is a necromancer...haven't faced any of those yet as I haven't tried evil embarks yet).

Necromancer? Immortal.

If your baron dies, a new one is elected (I think). You definitely don't revert.

EEH, wrong. Complete political stagnation until the next release if the noble dies, at least in the current version.

Ooh... I've never had a baron die, myself... Probably should have done some research prior to answering '^^
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on March 28, 2014, 04:44:57 am
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on March 28, 2014, 04:40:55 am
Quote from: Splint on March 28, 2014, 04:36:40 am
Quote from: Lolfail0009 on March 28, 2014, 04:33:47 am
Quote from: MrsStick on March 28, 2014, 12:56:12 am
Just realized that the king in my world is a dwarf necromancer who ascended to kingship in the year 1. It's now year 629. What are the chances he's still alive? Not sure how to check that out.

Also, if my baron died and I reverted from a barony, what do I need to do to get it back? This world is the first where I've actually HAD a baron, and I'm looking to get to have the king (even if he is a necromancer...haven't faced any of those yet as I haven't tried evil embarks yet).

Necromancer? Immortal.

If your baron dies, a new one is elected (I think). You definitely don't revert.

EEH, wrong. Complete political stagnation until the next release if the noble dies, at least in the current version.

Ooh... I've never had a baron die, myself... Probably should have done some research prior to answering '^^

I found it out the hard way. First time I got a baron he went funny in the head and croaked soon after due to lack of yarn (damn winter caravanlessness did him in.) The noble position disappears completely and you don't get a replacement because of some bug or another that's been around since apparently DF2010 (or some version of it,) that causes the nobles to not be replaced save for elected ones. Should be fixed next version if I read the stuff right.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Meneth on March 28, 2014, 07:09:58 am
Quote from: MrsStick on March 28, 2014, 12:56:12 am
Just realized that the king in my world is a dwarf necromancer who ascended to kingship in the year 1. It's now year 629. What are the chances he's still alive? Not sure how to check that out.
Two ways I can think of:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on March 28, 2014, 10:46:43 am
Quote from: Meneth on March 28, 2014, 07:09:58 am
Quote from: MrsStick on March 28, 2014, 12:56:12 am
Just realized that the king in my world is a dwarf necromancer who ascended to kingship in the year 1. It's now year 629. What are the chances he's still alive? Not sure how to check that out.
Two ways I can think of:
  • Export legends data (http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2012:Legends#Exporting_information_from_Legends_Mode) and scan the resulting file for any mention of the king's name. If his death isn't mentioned, he'll still be alive.
  • Start an adventurer in the royal civilization and go visit the king.

Unless the king is residing in a necromancer tower, you won't be able to visit the king in the current version.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DaftSkunk on March 28, 2014, 11:21:58 am
After being halway finished with the 140z level impulse ramps, I decided to finally start the waterwheels for the roller that would propel the cart through magma, which would be powered via a cavern lake.
My tileset doesnt show waterdepth.. and the whole waterwheel area was actually at the same level as the lake. Now, with water flooding down, killing a few masons and obliterating the work of the last 3-4 years I am undecided whether I should start a whole new elevator, abandon the fort or just forget about the magma. So frustrated.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lazygun on March 28, 2014, 03:00:02 pm
So my fort needs an internal fresh water supply. I find a couple of murky water pools and start excavating the plumbing that will divert them into a cistern. All is going well until I hit a small aquifer right where I was going to build the cistern. And I stare at my screen wondering how I can work around this and get my cistern built anyway. It takes me far too long to realize... I don't need a cistern any more, it's a fresh water aquifer.

Same fort, and a ramp with a floor hatch above is causing frequent message spam as dogs and cats and occasionally dwarves find themselves colliding with the ground. Usually no injuries or minor bruising. But one dog gets its skull pushed right through its brain. Hm well it's mainly haulers using that part of the fort so I won't try to fix it. It will be good training for my medical dwarf if someone gets hurt. Someone does get hurt. It's my medical dwarf. And a season later he's still resting, because nobody else had specialist medical labours.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aristion on March 28, 2014, 07:28:23 pm
Mountain homes can produce steel anvils but not iron ones. WHY
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BlackFlyme on March 28, 2014, 07:44:09 pm
Quote from: Aristion on March 28, 2014, 07:28:23 pm
Mountain homes can produce steel anvils but not iron ones. WHY

Because the civilization doesn't have access to iron ore.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torrenal on March 28, 2014, 08:33:58 pm
So, just getting into DF for the first time.
On my first serious fortress, I get the main entrance placed and setup with draw-bridges., I tortuously build a side path on it and contemplate the value of putting battlements into the hill overlooking it.
Siege rolls in and catch a lot of bats, olms, and 2 goblins on the trapped entrance, one being the squad commander.  So now I have a slew of unmounted, untrapped goblin swordsmen lounging out on my side-entrance, sticking to their commander..  'Great, I can rush them with my crossbowmen, but thanks to the mounts hogging traps, the goblins are right at the ramp down, my bowmen would start the fight in melee range.

Battlements:  Sure, some risk of carving them out mid-siege, but that's what, 1-2 holes from above...  I'd need one dwarf to dig them out, with my crossbowmen guarding the work.  Plus then the goblins have to close on me, not the reverse.  :)

Dig dig dig.  Order a bridge built to seal the battlements, order a lever for it... Dag-nabit, my miners won't carve out fortifications to open the fire lanes onto the goblins.  Fine... I'll just dig them out and build fortifications later.  Lets order that lever hooked up.....

As the first arrows are sent into the milling goblins, my camera zooms to the far corner of the map, with a popup message announcing the arrival of a dragon.  '...beware it's breath...'

Facepalm one: Finding myself mid siege, fortress with an opening (nope, too soon for the lever to be working) and Bonus Fun on the map.  I watch the dragon for 20-30 ticks, it doesn't move.  I'd had that happen to the only other legendary creature I'd seen to date - it had milled in the corner till my guards had chased a kobold out near it.

'Ah,' I says to myself, 'the dragon's doing the same thing.  It'll keep where it is till the siege resolves'.  I opt to ignore it and  pop back to my battlements where I see plenty of blood and one of my dwarves outside - bolts were being exchanged with goblins from above?  Evidently one goblin had climbed to the z-level above in the interm.   Recent Combat logs show no worrisome red text, just ample red on the exterior slope.  I let the fight progress (miners remove the last of the wall and flee), and I order a trap placed in my battlements for the dragon... just in case it tries that entrance... cause, you know: Pet dragon. 

Fight progresses for a bit, and I pause again, hopping to the U menu to center on the dragon and make sure it hasn't moved.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Facepalm two: Imagine my shock when the view centers on my 'barn-door-open' battlements.  Clearly, dragons move fast.

Different fort (cavern's wern't working as advertized in the first fort - no moss or mushrooms- so I started fresh...):
Same sort of entrance setup:  Main path, with a heavily trapped side entrance I can close separately.
Ambush comes, I seal the main entrance and set 'General Quarters' (everyone inside Alert, with squads to the barracks).
Everyone outside runs around in circles.
I check the side entrance: It's an elevated one-block wide path that snakes around a bit, except for one spot that isn't a + sign indicating floor.
It's a dot.
*facepalm* The path snakes around to a dead end.

 I loo'k' at at and discover it's not open space either.  It's a Hamster.  No ground.  No blocks.  No placed flooring.  Just a levitating Hamster.
On the spot I designate floor put there but find that the placement is blocked - which is why I'd omitted putting floor there in the first place, and having seen the hamster on it during the construction phase, I'd figured that it was already floored... 

I've since fixed that but I'd failed to test the side entrance, dwarves *still* won't path through my side entrance.   I'll need to set about some serious tests once I let this latest bunch of goblins into my fortress proper to do battle with both dwarf and caravan guard. Again. *facepalm*

--
Moment of triumph: Designating wounded as being part of my 'General Quarters' warren, and just the individual wounded, so that they are gathered FIRST after combat resolves.
//Torrenal
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on March 29, 2014, 10:57:44 am
Quote from: BlackFlyme on March 28, 2014, 07:44:09 pm
Quote from: Aristion on March 28, 2014, 07:28:23 pm
Mountain homes can produce steel anvils but not iron ones. WHY

Because the civilization doesn't have access to iron ore.

Wouldn't they need access to iron ore in order to have steel in the first place?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doktoro Reichard on March 29, 2014, 12:39:44 pm
Quote from: smjjames on March 29, 2014, 10:57:44 am
Quote from: BlackFlyme on March 28, 2014, 07:44:09 pm
Quote from: Aristion on March 28, 2014, 07:28:23 pm
Mountain homes can produce steel anvils but not iron ones. WHY

Because the civilization doesn't have access to iron ore.

Wouldn't they need access to iron ore in order to have steel in the first place?

It's a sort of a bug. As long as the civilization has the recipe for the alloy, they can produce it, regardless of having the base materials for it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ieb on March 30, 2014, 08:47:11 am
I learned things recently. First, husks that fight with hostiles long enough get pretty damn dangerous by becoming Lords of their weapon. Second, husks can name their weapons. Third, your worst enemy in husk dust areas aren't the husked wildlife, but husked kobold thieves.

Two squads of sword- and axe-dorfs were unable to put it down fast enough once it was spotted well behind the perimeter of cage traps, and once it husked a pet, it was all over. In the next few seconds, half of the militia was now husks, and also a lot of shooters.

It was a nice fort of 188 dorfs(200+ earlier but a dust-spewing FB arrived and 70% of the militia got caught in it, the dust OF COURSE was the sort that causes complete necrosis, so the few who survived after the doctors finally got their shit together ended up completely blind, quite a few died from infections because there were too many patients and not enough skilled doctors). Now that fort is inhabited by about 30 husks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Matoro on March 30, 2014, 09:20:43 am
Quote from: Ieb on March 30, 2014, 08:47:11 am
Third, your worst enemy in husk dust areas aren't the husked wildlife, but husked kobold thieves.

No, they aren't. Your worst enemy is your full-armoured dwarf-husks with quality weapons.

I have recently learned that dwarves can actually survive from horrible things. For example, I had a miner who fell and broke all his limbs. Literally. I had zero trust to this psychopatic torture organization called "dwarven healthcare" but they actually managed to save the miner. And now he's full of splints and bandages but apparently he is otherwise well. He can even continue digging!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on March 30, 2014, 09:51:10 am
I remember a dwarf in Towersoared named Balta that survived a ~17z fall, got stitched up, went back to mining, fell off the same place, got stitched up again, fell off another  ~20z place, got stiched up, and finally died of infection from a broken nail.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ieb on March 30, 2014, 03:13:24 pm
Quote from: Matoro on March 30, 2014, 09:20:43 am
No, they aren't. Your worst enemy is your full-armoured dwarf-husks with quality weapons.

I don't know, I guess it's situational. In that case though, all the husks up to that point had been those of caravans or ambush squads, and at LEAST the ambush squad husks tend to leave the map soon after. Can't remember if the husk caravan guards did that too. And even if they wouldn't and would rush the fort instead, traps still affect them.

But not kobold husks.

I sort of should have seen that coming, huh?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FallenAngel on March 30, 2014, 05:20:55 pm
Removed the guardian adamantine sword from the demonic fortress, thinking that the denizens of the underworld would go down easily.
Nope.
Started with 17 members of my fortress, and after the whole thing was over, was left with 8.
Frankly, I'm surprised I survived this at all.
Rebuilding this glacier will be difficult, though. I doubt we'll be getting migrants for a while, though :L
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on March 30, 2014, 06:29:08 pm
how did you kill hell with 17 dwarves? there must have been some pre-planning involved.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Paaaad on March 30, 2014, 07:14:45 pm
Quote from: TheFlame52 on March 30, 2014, 09:51:10 am
I remember a dwarf in Towersoared named Balta that survived a ~17z fall, got stitched up, went back to mining, fell off the same place, got stitched up again, fell off another  ~20z place, got stiched up, and finally died of infection from a broken nail.

The falls weren't me, but he did die of infection... About four months after his run-in with a forgotten beast. I checked.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snaake on March 31, 2014, 06:05:12 pm
Quote from: PDF urist master on March 30, 2014, 06:29:08 pm
how did you kill hell with 17 dwarves? there must have been some pre-planning involved.

My thoughts exactly, although you could've gone with the tradition on avoiding spoilers on the circus.

To FallenAngel: Most people who anger the circus for the first time have fun. That is, they lose. To only lose half of 17 dwarves (I guess you did this pretty early?) is so remarkable that I'd say it's nigh-impossible, if you honestly weren't prepared for them yet killed them. Then again, if you lost half before you managed to seal them off, that's another thing entirely, and you may still have a tantrum spiral (more fun!) incoming.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bennerman on March 31, 2014, 06:21:39 pm
Killed all my miners in an "ice farm" mishap
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: fragfish on April 01, 2014, 09:04:01 am
I learned that floors and walls are always magmasafe AFTER spending two in-game years constructing two large basins and a magmaeduct out of alunite blocks, almost going insane from the dwarven inability to construct walls ("creature occupying tile").
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Manze on April 01, 2014, 07:11:49 pm
Couldn't figure out why my dwarves weren't using the minecarts I designed my fortress layout to have to move things. Turns out I forgot to set what the minecarts actually moved.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on April 02, 2014, 10:22:41 am
Quote from: fragfish on April 01, 2014, 09:04:01 am
I learned that floors and walls are always magmasafe AFTER spending two in-game years constructing two large basins and a magmaeduct out of alunite blocks, almost going insane from the dwarven inability to construct walls ("creature occupying tile").

I don't see that as a major facepalm, unless you were low on magmasafe materials. Unless you meant cavern floors and cavern walls?

Constructed walls and floors are always magmasafe though, even constructed ICE walls.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Knick on April 02, 2014, 12:25:00 pm
Came out of a siege, ordered the collective of available weapons and ammo, got frustrated when the orders were ignored, only afterwards realized that I forgot to cancel the burrow restrictions.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snaake on April 02, 2014, 04:52:00 pm
Quote from: smjjames on April 02, 2014, 10:22:41 am
Quote from: fragfish on April 01, 2014, 09:04:01 am
I learned that floors and walls are always magmasafe AFTER spending two in-game years constructing two large basins and a magmaeduct out of alunite blocks, almost going insane from the dwarven inability to construct walls ("creature occupying tile").

I don't see that as a major facepalm, unless you were low on magmasafe materials. Unless you meant cavern floors and cavern walls?

Constructed walls and floors are always magmasafe though, even constructed ICE walls.

Or wood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aristion on April 03, 2014, 12:11:48 am
I offered wagon wood to the elves; they excepted it.  >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on April 03, 2014, 12:13:14 am
Quote from: Aristion on April 03, 2014, 12:11:48 am
I offered wagon wood to the elves; they excepted it.  >:(

.......................Wat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: fragfish on April 03, 2014, 01:27:15 am
Quote from: smjjames on April 02, 2014, 10:22:41 am
Quote from: fragfish on April 01, 2014, 09:04:01 am
I learned that floors and walls are always magmasafe AFTER spending two in-game years constructing two large basins and a magmaeduct out of alunite blocks, almost going insane from the dwarven inability to construct walls ("creature occupying tile").

I don't see that as a major facepalm, unless you were low on magmasafe materials. Unless you meant cavern floors and cavern walls?

Constructed walls and floors are always magmasafe though, even constructed ICE walls.

Well, I somehow assumed the natural walls of my basins and magmaeduct would not be safe from magma, so I enlarged it and plastered everything with alunite floors and walls. Took me ages, and nothing useful got done because everyone was carrying stone blocks around and building walls/floors.

It also cost me two dwarfs because I finally found out the hard way when someone dropped the block of a deconstructed floor (above the reservoir, for magma workshops) into the basin. While dousing him and a nearby child in magma, the block also punched a hole into the floor and emptied the alunite basin into some leftover dugout below.

All the while I could have just used the dugout basin/magmaeduct as it stood and started everything two years earlier.

Also, there apparently is a way to make even guided minecart routes dangerous. If the dwarf guiding the cart is an off-duty soldier and gets activated while guiding it up some ramps, he will let go of the minecart - which will then immediately roll back into him. Though I'm not entirely sure if it was him guiding it or another squad mate a few z-levels up the route, a compound fracture in the hip and leg seems a bit harsh for a wooden minecart rolling down 1 z-level?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torrenal on April 03, 2014, 01:39:42 am
Working on multiple tasks all at once has not gone well for me tonight...

Atom smasher assembled...
Dwarven baths installed...
Prepping caged critters for pitting...
Installing new 'gates' for locking goblinite in, I'm getting rather grumpy at how much ore evaporates before I can mine it...
In short, I'm doing 300 things at once.

And lo, my Count is  throwing a tantrum.  I look over his thoughts... 'Dined in a legendary... had a meeting... Slept on the Grass?  I check to see if he broke his bed again (he IS married and had a kid recently... you know how these things can happen...).  Nope, bed still intact, silly dorfus.
I give him a couple of masterwork statues in his throne-room, and unsuspend (again!) the tasks to hook up levers to my new gates... I'd caught a kea playing games with the mechanic earlier, guess it's still around...
Insert random distractions, followed by a moody dwarf that I start to baby-sit.  During this, I see a message pop up (AGAIN!) about being unable to hook up the bridges...for no access?

What?  That's right outside my front door...
... across the dwarven bath...
...which is (still) being filled by bucket...
...to 6/7.
*facepalm 1* - overfilling the bath, blocking my only entrance.  Locking my many dwarves out, including my Count (thus his being grumpy).
I order a channel cut to let the bath drain and return to babysitting McMoody...
Not 5 seconds later: An ambush! Curse them!
*facepalm 2* lock my military inside, my squshy nobels, woodcutters, etc outside (say what you will about nobles, Count has done good work for me in not making a single mandate), and face an ambush before it's resolved.  All for the sake of cleanliness.
The situation resolves smoothly giving me time to spot that my dwarves stripping the gear off the prisoners are not dropping it at the adjacent dump, but hauling it across the map to drop it on my atom smasher.  I correct this for the present loot at the smasher by unforbidding the bits I want kept, and I finish babysitting the moody dwarf, only to have pop up a message: Urist McYouth, Dwarven Child, has been found dead.
I pause and jump to the corpse.  It's at the atom smasher.  No visible blood splatter, evidently no witnesses despite dozens of dwarves in the area...  Did my dwarves strip it off a goblin snatcher and not notice what it was until dumping it?
Seconds later:
Urist McTannedHide has been killed by a flying object.
Eh?  (perhaps you see my error?)
I pop over to his corpse.  In the same spot, and now with a trail of red leading out of the room.... Hang on...  For the love of kitten... *facepalm 3*.
To keep my dwarves safe while operating the smasher, I have them drop trash onto it from above...
I'd just marked stuff on the pile as non-trash, and the dwarves are now collecting non-trash items from below while still dumping trash items from above, with predictable results.
//Torrenal



Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on April 03, 2014, 09:19:32 am
Quote from: fragfish on April 03, 2014, 01:27:15 am

Also, there apparently is a way to make even guided minecart routes dangerous. If the dwarf guiding the cart is an off-duty soldier and gets activated while guiding it up some ramps, he will let go of the minecart - which will then immediately roll back into him. Though I'm not entirely sure if it was him guiding it or another squad mate a few z-levels up the route, a compound fracture in the hip and leg seems a bit harsh for a wooden minecart rolling down 1 z-level?
I had something similar happen, though I don't think it had to do with military. I can only assume that the dwarf guiding the minecart got hungry or something and abandoned the cart right on an incline... two dwarves got killed and a baby, two dwarves ended up in the hospital... it probably wouldn't have been as bad if the minecart wasn't full of stone...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ieb on April 03, 2014, 11:04:14 am
Today I was sieged by goblins. Normal business.

Spoiler: I didn't expect for a whole squad to flank me from a most unexpected place however. (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on April 03, 2014, 04:56:26 pm
While running some more finetuning tests for minecart collision behaviour, i spied a pair of badgers in the middle of the fort. Yes, they tried to take a shortcut through the heart of the fort, disturbing everybody and disturbed by everybody. I rallied the two milita squads and told them to kill all badgers (all six of them, _all_ of which were fucking around in various corners). The soldiers did their duty, and then _two of them decided to take a break in a perpetual-motion minecart pit_. Needless to say, neither survived. I ordered their sorry cadavers thrown into the volcano, lest their stupidity might be infectuous. It's bad enough that they'll force me to superdwarf my fort for eleven months - one was a mother with a one-week old baby.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skuggen on April 04, 2014, 08:55:29 am
Quote from: Aristion on April 03, 2014, 12:11:48 am
I offered wagon wood to the elves; they excepted it.  >:(

Wagons are creatures, after all. You offered the elves its bones.

I once lost a fort because I didn't notice none of the dwarves were drinking (freezing biome, all the alcohol had frozen).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cryxis, Prince of Doom on April 04, 2014, 01:08:31 pm
I had an amazing start up to my fort, there was plenty of drink and food and all my dwarves were happy. I decided that my sole miner, god bless his poor soul, should start the forts mining operation. After a month of him digging out some new quarries I noticed that he was starving, thirsty, and wouldn't do his work. Upon looking further I noticed that the stairs were built improperly. That fort died of a sever case of Diggor mortis
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The Bastard of France on April 05, 2014, 07:56:26 am
48 undead have besieged my fort
Luckily there are no necromancers
Unluckily i haven't set up my ballista battery yet so all that stands between the undead and my tasty dwarves are 20 untrained militia with some picks and crossbows
I'm probably going to die

edit*
Just fought off the siege
Had to send out all 20 of my militia or miss the caravan that year (obviously i still missed it)
All 48 undead were killed and i lost 12
One of my dwarves Dodok Udariden killed the most undead (12) without any armour other the the cloth he wore and a copper dagger as a weapon. He also had a broken skull but still fought on
This dwarf is definitely getting a decent tomb when he eventually dies
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Antsan on April 06, 2014, 04:52:23 pm
Dug out some rooms for beds and then designated them to be smoothed mined. Shouldn't have forgotten to press "s".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: doublestrafe on April 07, 2014, 01:58:05 am
Successfully domesticated giant wrens. Good eatin' on one of them. Once I had a clutch of fully domesticated hatchlings, I butchered the earlier generations so they wouldn't breed any more untamed birds.

'Siegfried' sberdan, Animal Trainer, is throwing a tantrum!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: catastrophy on April 07, 2014, 03:09:36 am
Walled off the only staircase to stockpiles and upper levels.
Came to forum to ask why nothing was working.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snaake on April 07, 2014, 05:58:33 pm
Quote from: doublestrafe on April 07, 2014, 01:58:05 am
Successfully domesticated giant wrens. Good eatin' on one of them. Once I had a clutch of fully domesticated hatchlings, I butchered the earlier generations so they wouldn't breed any more untamed birds.

'Siegfried' sberdan, Animal Trainer, is throwing a tantrum!

Heh. But wtf, they grow to (slightly over) grizzly-size in one year?!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skuggen on April 09, 2014, 01:37:39 am
Quote from: catastrophy on April 07, 2014, 03:09:36 am
Walled off the only staircase to stockpiles and upper levels.
Came to forum to ask why nothing was working.

I tend to do something similar; Dig a staircase down, using up/down stairs, until I find the first cavern layer. Then I floor over the bottom of the stairwell until I find a safe place/way to breach the cavern. Trouble is that building the floor on an up/down stair also removes the up stair, and then I'm left wondering why the mason is sitting down there with "no job" while there's a ton of work for him to do.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: thehman03 on April 09, 2014, 06:14:58 pm
My most recent " successful" fortress had about a month and a half freeze per year, so i neglected to build walls around my river until i noticed most traders just up and swimming through it. I designated some walls to complete the entire wall in early summer, hoping to get the last few bits done in winter for the short freeze. The dwarves neglected to build said walls until the last week-ish of the freeze, at which point all of my carpenters decide "hey lets go have fun skating on the melting ice" not a single tile of wall was created that winter, all of my carpenters drowned as they were washed downstream, the stream was contaminated due to an arm being blown off and the deaths caused a tantrum spiral to rage through my fort until I pulled the doomsday switch. I was doing so well too, but as they say...

LOSING IS FUN

especially when you drown all of your dwarves in your gladiator pit
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tawa on April 09, 2014, 07:33:45 pm
I set my dwarves to engraving. There were a bunch of images of rope reeds and mittens, symbols of authority, but one dwarf engraved something different.

A hedgehog man.

Out of anything, a hedgehog man. Sonic the Hedgehog came irreversibly to mind. I must now mod in video games as toys.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: catastrophy on April 10, 2014, 06:20:23 am
Quote from: Skuggen on April 09, 2014, 01:37:39 am
Quote from: catastrophy on April 07, 2014, 03:09:36 am
Walled off the only staircase to stockpiles and upper levels.
Came to forum to ask why nothing was working.

I tend to do something similar; Dig a staircase down, using up/down stairs, until I find the first cavern layer. Then I floor over the bottom of the stairwell until I find a safe place/way to breach the cavern. Trouble is that building the floor on an up/down stair also removes the up stair, and then I'm left wondering why the mason is sitting down there with "no job" while there's a ton of work for him to do.

Yea, I always get confused whether the Up/down stairs have a floor or not and take care to redesign a cave breach, but this time I floored off a staircase just 3 levels below ground.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snaake on April 10, 2014, 06:38:30 am
Was going to embark in a taiga, on a volcano with 2 small peaks adjacent, with an aquifer and sand + tetrahedrite visible on the surface, right next to a goblin fortress, I'm talking literally the next tile over, and with a second dark fortress in the same 16x16 area...

But while I was swapping tilesets with LNP, it apparently set INITIAL_SAVE to YES, so I would've had to use my "I'm just going to have a look" embark (kudos to them for classic dwarven parking on the rim, though), or an abandoned wagon reclaim. The tileset-swapping had also undone some of my raw mods, so I ended up deleting the world. The Fun I could've had...

And then I realized I could have grabbed the worldgen parameters+seed and remade the world with the raw mods and all. *facepalm*

Are civ site locations/the history in general always identical with the same seed? Or do the battle outcomes etc. vary, and thus possibly other stuff too?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on April 10, 2014, 07:11:13 pm
I tried to build a drowning chamber that drains back into the sea in an area where the sea freezes in winter.

I ended up flooding the lower part of the beach
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cerol Lenslens on April 10, 2014, 07:26:41 pm
So I finally gave up on my previous fort due to it crashing. Something involving having memory problems with stealthed goblins or something, I suspect.

Time to start a new fort!

Hey, this spot looks nice! Temperate climate, a freshwater lake for emergency water, some mountains for stone, some forests for wood...

A section of the cavern has collapsed? That sounds ominous. Well, lets go back up to the map... Is that ice? Guess winter lasts late here. Oh dammit! The dwarves parked their wagon on the lake, three squares away from a small peninsula that is the only path up the forbidding cliff next to them! Okay, so I'll have to demolish the wagon and set up stockpiles. I can do this. I'll just set it up while paused, and hope my dwarves can get enough done before the Spring thaw hits.

All right, that should work! Now, *unpause!*

Ha ha, you of course know exactly where this is going...

.001 seconds later, three founders are dead, (two started on land, and two were decent swimmers.) my pick and axe are underwater, as are all my supplies and building materials, all the vegetation is on the other side of the lake where no dwarves can reach it, and there is absolutely no way I can think of to salvage this situation.

Oh, what a difference three squares makes!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torrenal on April 10, 2014, 08:41:41 pm
I was having trouble with my pitting operations.  My cage traps have been enormously successful, often causing two or three squads to halt short of my gates during a siege.  Except... nobody was taking the filled cages to my stockpile so that I could pit them.  Check stockpile configuration: Fine.  Check cage surplus: Fine.  Bang on configs, throw up hands and come back after the next siege to repeat... for about 4 sieges this goes on, filled cages standing on top of primed cage traps, creating mini-quantum stockpiles of caged foes...

Later I found out, if you assign wheelbarrows to a stockpile, only as many dwarves will carry goods to/from it as you have wheelbarrows assigned.  And my pit-stockpile had 1 wheelbarrow assigned.  *facepalm*  Somewhere, a single dwarf had been moving cages, so slowly I hadn't even noticed.
//Torrenal
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Manze on April 10, 2014, 11:48:35 pm
Learning the basics of modding on a fort-in-progress. Spent about 45 minutes trying to figure out why the bullets would just pass right through their target Changed everything I could think of, including giving them identical parameters to a normal crossbow bolt. Watched one of my test dwarves run up to his target after running out of ammo, where his rifle butts "passed right through".

Turns out I forgot to define what material the bullets and rifles were made of. So they technically didn't exist. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skuggen on April 11, 2014, 02:36:21 am
Quote from: Cerol Lenslens on April 10, 2014, 07:26:41 pm
So I finally gave up on my previous fort due to it crashing. Something involving having memory problems with stealthed goblins or something, I suspect.

Time to start a new fort!

Hey, this spot looks nice! Temperate climate, a freshwater lake for emergency water, some mountains for stone, some forests for wood...

A section of the cavern has collapsed? That sounds ominous. Well, lets go back up to the map... Is that ice? Guess winter lasts late here. Oh dammit! The dwarves parked their wagon on the lake, three squares away from a small peninsula that is the only path up the forbidding cliff next to them! Okay, so I'll have to demolish the wagon and set up stockpiles. I can do this. I'll just set it up while paused, and hope my dwarves can get enough done before the Spring thaw hits.

All right, that should work! Now, *unpause!*

Ha ha, you of course know exactly where this is going...

.001 seconds later, three founders are dead, (two started on land, and two were decent swimmers.) my pick and axe are underwater, as are all my supplies and building materials, all the vegetation is on the other side of the lake where no dwarves can reach it, and there is absolutely no way I can think of to salvage this situation.

Oh, what a difference three squares makes!

Are you using Masterwork? There's an issue with the newest version not disabling digging invaders properly which can lead to crashing. It's easy to fix by removing/disabling all the digginginvader stuff in the dfhack setup.

I've had similar situations where my dwarves embark on ice, leading to a  scramble to get everything important to safety before it thaws. Sometimes it works, though it tends to lead to at least one dwarf drowning.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cerol Lenslens on April 11, 2014, 01:25:57 pm
Quote from: Skuggen on April 11, 2014, 02:36:21 am
Are you using Masterwork? There's an issue with the newest version not disabling digging invaders properly which can lead to crashing. It's easy to fix by removing/disabling all the digginginvader stuff in the dfhack setup.

Nope, this is just Vanilla DF.

I ended up reclaiming that fort. The new group put their wagon right at the top of the slope, which was nice. Looking around the map, I noticed that the rivers feeding into the lake were still frozen, but didn't think anything of it until I noticed my fisherdwarf was hunting for vermin. He'd managed to run over the ice onto a tiny triangular piece of land, start fishing, and the ice thawed behind him. I had to erect an emergency bridge to rescue him.

Furthermore, I've lost two more dwarves to insta-thaw drowning since then: Because the lake thaws instantly when Spring hits, I get absolutely no warning that I can use to pull my dwarves into burrows to get them off the ice. This fort's going to be interesting...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CreamyDoughnut on April 12, 2014, 12:13:21 am
I heard about taming Giant Cave Spiders, so I tried doing it without refreshing my knowledge from the wikia. It ended with a GCS rampaging through my dinning hall. At the time I thought it would actually be tamed when I released it from the cage. Apparently spiders are not grateful creatures.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KiBoy on April 12, 2014, 01:44:49 am
I've got one face palm moment from my recent adventurer.

So,I started a brand adventurer, killed a few things mostly biting off their legs and stuff, until night came. And since I knew Bogeymen at this point would murder me, I surrounded myself with 8 campfires.

I couldn't wait the night out since they were just sitting and waiting, so I decided to throw my stuff to the ground so I could train while waiting... until...

You are melting!

Oh crap...

One adventurer well done come this way!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on April 12, 2014, 05:04:34 am
Quote from: KiBoy on April 12, 2014, 01:44:49 am
I've got one face palm moment from my recent adventurer.

So,I started a brand adventurer, killed a few things mostly biting off their legs and stuff, until night came. And since I knew Bogeymen at this point would murder me, I surrounded myself with 8 campfires.

I couldn't wait the night out since they were just sitting and waiting, so I decided to throw my stuff to the ground so I could train while waiting... until...

You are melting!

Oh crap...

One adventurer well done come this way!
Are campfires even hot enough to burn dwarves in adjacent tiles? Might've lit a brush fire by mistake.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KiBoy on April 12, 2014, 07:54:52 am
Quote from: Bumber on April 12, 2014, 05:04:34 am
Quote from: KiBoy on April 12, 2014, 01:44:49 am
I've got one face palm moment from my recent adventurer.

So,I started a brand adventurer, killed a few things mostly biting off their legs and stuff, until night came. And since I knew Bogeymen at this point would murder me, I surrounded myself with 8 campfires.

I couldn't wait the night out since they were just sitting and waiting, so I decided to throw my stuff to the ground so I could train while waiting... until...

You are melting!

Oh crap...

One adventurer well done come this way!
Are campfires even hot enough to burn dwarves in adjacent tiles? Might've lit a brush fire by mistake.

I'm not sure. I might've burned a tree or something... I don't remember now. It was weird...

I so hoped I would melt off the fat and survive it... but well, Armok decided otherwise.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tawa on April 12, 2014, 02:08:18 pm
A migrant wave arrived along with a pet bunny.

It is gigantic and muscular.

(http://i59.tinypic.com/iqzqrk.png)

This is a masterful engraving of a bunny. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quailty.

EDIT:

I got two artifacts: a gold corkscrew named The Glittery Air (fairies! Pixies! Wood sprites! Stupid elven collaborators...) and Pantherdrowns the Dank Chances, a siltstone figurine. Of dorfs. Founding the site. Which includes The Glittery Air.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zachski on April 14, 2014, 02:56:33 am
Decided to do a no-guide attempt at creating a surface dwarf settlement.  Just rely on everything I've learned in the past and hope that I remember it right.

It started off well enough, I guess.  Nobody's died or gotten injured, though one dwarf got unhappy.  I only took one battle axe with me, though, which you'll see was a bad decision soon.

Woodcutter was cutting wood, and I was using Therapist to enable a lot of different jobs so I could get things done without idlers.

At one point, a bunch of rhesus-something birds (the name slips my mind, like names tend to do with me) raided my camp as I was building around the dismantled wagon and took off with a few things.  Annoying, but I didn't notice anything important.

Cut to a few immigrations later, and a fey mood child demanding rock blocks (which I have been steadily producing) and wood (which I don't HAVE) and I'm stumped as to why no one will go out and cut wood.  So I check my stocks...

The copper battle axe that I started with is no longer there.  I have no more logs, so I can't make charcoal to make coke, which means I can't operate the forge, which means that I can't get any wood.

The only thing I can think of is the woodcutter set the axe down and a bird stole it.

Which means we're going to have a berserk child and angry parents.

Sigh.  Perhaps I should just go ahead and make that coffin....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Astrid on April 14, 2014, 03:58:38 am
If you can get wood by dismantling something then you can produce a wooden trainingsaxe.
The Woondcutter can work with that as well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on April 14, 2014, 04:48:32 am
Quote from: Zachski on April 14, 2014, 02:56:33 am
At one point, a bunch of rhesus-something birds (the name slips my mind, like names tend to do with me)...
If they were rhesus macaques, those are monkeys not birds. (*Face Palm* or whatever.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zachski on April 14, 2014, 05:37:31 am
Quote from: Astrid on April 14, 2014, 03:58:38 am
If you can get wood by dismantling something then you can produce a wooden trainingsaxe.
The Woondcutter can work with that as well.

I suppose I can find something to dismantle and do that.  assuming the fey kid doesn't grab the wood first.  (Which may solve the problem, ironically.)

Quote from: Bumber on April 14, 2014, 04:48:32 am
Quote from: Zachski on April 14, 2014, 02:56:33 am
At one point, a bunch of rhesus-something birds (the name slips my mind, like names tend to do with me)...
If they were rhesus macaques, those are monkeys not birds. (*Face Palm* or whatever.)

Ah, sorry, the tileset I was using gave them a bird-like appearance.  That and I don't know much about monkeys OR birds, so... boo for ignorance :S
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jcochran on April 14, 2014, 08:36:12 am
Quote from: Cerol Lenslens on April 11, 2014, 01:25:57 pm
Furthermore, I've lost two more dwarves to insta-thaw drowning since then: Because the lake thaws instantly when Spring hits, I get absolutely no warning that I can use to pull my dwarves into burrows to get them off the ice. This fort's going to be interesting...

The insta-thaw issue is why I designate all ponds, streams, etc with restricted traffic. 'd-o-r', takes a while to perform all the designations, but once done, the beards won't go wandering onto ice while doing their chores.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kumquat on April 14, 2014, 11:44:23 am
So, I was doing a little bit of modding and added some beast-man civs just they would not be just a nuisance fluttering around the fort, and gave them some fairly primitive professions and merchants and so on, and what do they bring?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Two of them. All the way up to my taiga volcano-top fortress... And I have nowhere to put them, as ponds are frozen 75% of the year and caves are somewhere very deep.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KiBoy on April 14, 2014, 12:19:15 pm
Quote from: Kumquat on April 14, 2014, 11:44:23 am
So, I was doing a little bit of modding and added some beast-man civs just they would not be just a nuisance fluttering around the fort, and gave them some fairly primitive professions and merchants and so on, and what do they bring?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Two of them. All the way up to my taiga volcano-top fortress... And I have nowhere to put them, as ponds are frozen 75% of the year and caves are somewhere very deep.

Edit the raws so you can war train them. Then make a large moat filled with water and put them there.

Wait, you said you lack water? Use magma and make them magma proof. NOTHING shall come in.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zachski on April 14, 2014, 12:54:05 pm
Facepalm undone.  The child only needed one log (and I managed to free up two of them so that I could make a wooden axe)

I now have Rithartob, "Bellcombined", a maple bracelet.  It is encrusted with oval limestone cabochens decorated with ash and encircled with bands of fungiwood.  On the item is an image of Can The Book Save The World? the sandstone-bound book in maple.

It's no Planepacked, but it'll do.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snaake on April 14, 2014, 06:01:18 pm
I built 2 farmer's workshops out of ice boulders (murky pools only melt for 20 days a year in this embark), but built them right on top of a magma pipe I dug on the z-level below. The workshops melted. Said pipe was dug to get magma under a pool to keep it molten, which it doesn't.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on April 15, 2014, 02:37:09 pm
Im looking for . . . solutions.  I don't have food for that, its the fifth season.  Its bad enough I never bother making the (typically 55 on average, for me) bedrooms required to house the third wave before they arrive.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snaake on April 15, 2014, 03:27:55 pm
Are they actually all children? Sometimes you can get migrants who are more than 12 years old, but show up as children to your fort, because worldgen doesn't properly update their professions.

Regardless, ouch.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snaake on April 15, 2014, 05:49:41 pm
A founder and a migrant have just died of thirst. I was wondering why, since I do have a bit of booze, (and trade with elves is about to commence), but then I realize it's probably in only 2-3 pots at most, and the dwarves can't all drink at the same time. The dangers of embarking on a volcano mountain include the aquifer being pretty far down, should've dug deeper earlier...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on April 15, 2014, 09:44:37 pm
The human caravan came to town. I ordered all the worn clothes and some shoddy crafts brought to the depot. About ten days later, most stuff had arrived, so i asked for a trader. The trader arrived, "there are no merchants trading here". What?

Seems some trees grew while the caravan was underway and boxed in four wagons. On the upside, the deconstruct-teleport-then-atomsmash scheme worked flawlessly, getting the ~40k unasked-for gifts off our tab. And we have four wagon wooden items now - bed, minecart, wheelbarrow, enormous corkscrew.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Doc Voston on April 19, 2014, 03:42:38 am
Quote from: pisskop on April 15, 2014, 02:37:09 pm
Im looking for . . . solutions.  I don't have food for that, its the fifth season.  Its bad enough I never bother making the (typically 55 on average, for me) bedrooms required to house the third wave before they arrive.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Magma is always the solution.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Visus Draconis on April 19, 2014, 11:36:14 am
Mod-related facepalm: I was trying to get the bread making reaction in my mod to work, and it did, thanks to Deon's Genesis. I used a bagful of oat flour to test it out, and was pleased to see things were working fabulously.

Then I looked at my supplies, and saw "Other: 3000-something". I went back to bakery, and I saw the cook moving very slowly to put the bread in its proper stockpile. Seems the reaction worked too well.

Now I have 3,000 dwarven oatcakes. Not what I had in mind. At least the fortress is going to be well-fed for the foreseeable future.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dig_for_!!sparklies!! on April 19, 2014, 08:35:03 pm
Bread for the bread god!

I had a face palm moment today when trying to figure out why my dorfs were leaving gaps in the cavern walls so things could (FREQUENTLY) come in and kill them. It turns out they--I don't know if they can't, but they really don't like to build a wall right next to a ramp (I had ramps alternating with floors, for scaffolding). Build floors over them, and now my caves are much more secure.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jcochran on April 21, 2014, 08:50:01 am
Quote from: Visus Draconis on April 19, 2014, 11:36:14 am
Mod-related facepalm: I was trying to get the bread making reaction in my mod to work, and it did, thanks to Deon's Genesis. I used a bagful of oat flour to test it out, and was pleased to see things were working fabulously.

Then I looked at my supplies, and saw "Other: 3000-something". I went back to bakery, and I saw the cook moving very slowly to put the bread in its proper stockpile. Seems the reaction worked too well.

Now I have 3,000 dwarven oatcakes. Not what I had in mind. At least the fortress is going to be well-fed for the foreseeable future.

Too much yeast.....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jcochran on April 21, 2014, 09:38:03 am
Just got the first siege for a new fortress. A rather small affair, a crossbow goblin leading a squad of hammer goblins. Didn't have a trained military, but the welcome center was constructed and ready. The goblins after a while paused and stopped, not approaching the welcome center. I decided to take a look at the Units screen to see if any trolls or other beasts had made it onto the map. But what I saw was the hammer goblins, and no crossbow goblin.

WTF? I know I hadn't done anything to kill the crossbowman. Where was he? So looked at the Dead/Missing units and saw the dead crossbowman. What killed it? Do I used deathcause in dfhack and saw 'Drowned'. Turns out that the cave croc mount that the goblin was riding decided to stop in the middle of a murky pool, drowning his passenger. And of course, the rest of the goblin squad just stood around looking at the floating corpse. So I then sent my untrained archery squad to shoot at 'em from the safety of the other side of the ditch. After all, no longer had an other crossbowman to shoot back did I?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on April 23, 2014, 09:48:19 pm
did you check the reports screen to see any combat reports with the crossbow goblin?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jcochran on April 24, 2014, 12:54:58 pm
Yup. No combat for that squad leader at all. Just a crossbow carrying goblin riding a cave croc. Silly beast stopped on the slope of a small pool (about 3x4 tiles) and stayed there until its rider drowned. Definitely a face palm moment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skuggen on April 25, 2014, 03:20:31 am
I got a bit overzealous with DFHack's digv near a volcano.
Some time later I noticed my framerate was dropping. Then I couldn't find my most experienced miner. Then I noticed the magma dripping down the central staircase. I was lucky it was near the bottom.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jcochran on April 25, 2014, 09:11:59 am
Are you sure the digv command was at fault? If memory serves, the rock right next to a volcano (at least that rock that's adjacent to magma) is obsidian. And I don't think obsidian can be selected using the digv command. In any case, since the rock next to the magma is "revealed", you won't get the warm stone warning when digging there. So you do have to be careful to not accidentally designate it for digging.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skuggen on April 25, 2014, 09:23:15 am
I'd previously dug away part of the obsidian to funnel some magma into a different area, to power magma forges and furnaces.
The vein marked ended one tile diagonally from where this funnel led from the volcano.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Antsan on April 25, 2014, 10:25:28 am
I think digv is messed up with obsidian on a magma pipe. I once used digv on non-obsidian next to a volcano and it marked the obsidian next to the cluster. Maybe the information that dfhack is using is somehow not what DF uses to determine whether something next to a magma pipe is obsidian.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: firelord84 on April 26, 2014, 12:11:06 pm
My fort just succumbed to a Forgotten Beast......composed of vomit.  It breathes poisonous vapors so my dwarves could only get a couple wacks in before falling unconscious.  One managed to cut off its trunk and another cut off one of its feet.  Another fractured its upper body (indicating it had no organs).  A war dog managed to fracture its head somehow.  But eventually, my entire military fell.  It repeatedly kicked and "pushed" my dwarves in the head, killing the vast majority of them instantly.  My legendary axedwarf clad in adamantium managed a hit to the upper leg before being insta-killed by the headshot.

This thing is insane.  It's obliterated 4 attempts to reclaim with all starting seven having bronze weapons and skill, even though every single part of its body is red or missing (it doesn't have blood).  I give up.  It's now lost all its feet so it just "pushes" my dwarves to death as they lay unconscious in its vapors.  However, even an entire starting seven of axedwarves do nothing.  It must be gigantic because they can't sever its head or its legs.

The facepalm moment is this:  All cavern entrances are walled up in my fort.  There's no way for it to have gotten into my main stairwell!  Except....the damn wells in the damn hospital.  They fed directly from a first-cavern lake one level below them.  It must have crawled up the well.  It's the only explanation I can come to, as ridiculous as it is.  Those "very few" enemies which can still get up wells just happened to be my very first nigh invincible Forgotten Beast in an otherwise very well laid out, very promising fort...damn.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SupermanBananaX on April 26, 2014, 01:11:49 pm
Quote from: firelord84 on April 26, 2014, 12:11:06 pm
My fort just succumbed to a Forgotten Beast......composed of vomit.  It breathes poisonous vapors so my dwarves could only get a couple wacks in before falling unconscious. 

This happened to me, my only team of 10 swordsmasters quickly dispatched it, but my hospital wasn't large enough to accommodate all 10 to treat whatever sickness they had. 4 were treated, and just as my eyes were popping out of my head seeing my six swordsmasters suffocate, I was sieged.

Anyway my facepalm moment is wasting 2 1/2 hours trying to figure out why my craftsdwarf is trapped in his shop and can't access wood or stone. I tried deallocating piles moving a pile right next to the shop, making multiple shops (yes with the same door/room structure so my problem wasn't alleviated) ,  queuing through manager, and pulling my hair out. Turns out those little darker green X's mean something...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KiBoy on April 26, 2014, 07:19:01 pm
Quote from: SupermanBananaX on April 26, 2014, 01:11:49 pm
Quote from: firelord84 on April 26, 2014, 12:11:06 pm
My fort just succumbed to a Forgotten Beast......composed of vomit.  It breathes poisonous vapors so my dwarves could only get a couple wacks in before falling unconscious. 

This happened to me, my only team of 10 swordsmasters quickly dispatched it, but my hospital wasn't large enough to accommodate all 10 to treat whatever sickness they had. 4 were treated, and just as my eyes were popping out of my head seeing my six swordsmasters suffocate, I was sieged.

Anyway my facepalm moment is wasting 2 1/2 hours trying to figure out why my craftsdwarf is trapped in his shop and can't access wood or stone. I tried deallocating piles moving a pile right next to the shop, making multiple shops (yes with the same door/room structure so my problem wasn't alleviated) ,  queuing through manager, and pulling my hair out. Turns out those little darker green X's mean something...

I once had a jeweler that went to his workshop, done his job cutting gems and... never left it until he died of thirst/hunger.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: reality.auditor on April 26, 2014, 07:35:53 pm
Quote from: firelord84 on April 26, 2014, 12:11:06 pm
The facepalm moment is this:  All cavern entrances are walled up in my fort.
Doesn't matter. When game prepares site to reclaim, nasties can and will teleport around.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lelouch on April 27, 2014, 10:43:36 pm
I Atomsmashed my legendary miner trying to check which switch was for which bridge... (4 bridge 6 levers...) :(  :/
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Broken on April 28, 2014, 03:16:57 pm
Quote from: firelord84 on April 26, 2014, 12:11:06 pm
This thing is insane.  It's obliterated 4 attempts to reclaim with all starting seven having bronze weapons and skill, even though every single part of its body is red or missing (it doesn't have blood).  I give up.  It's now lost all its feet so it just "pushes" my dwarves to death as they lay unconscious in its vapors.  However, even an entire starting seven of axedwarves do nothing.  It must be gigantic because they can't sever its head or its legs.

Make a vampire adventurer, kill the thing with him. Vampires are inmune to gas, and a vomit FB should be a pushover.

(Or, kill thething with ranged weapons, out of reach of the gas)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JerDGold on May 05, 2014, 05:58:39 pm
New to the forum, and new to DF.  I'm having a BLAST with it though, and just had my first moment like this.  I have my first injurned dwarf.  He's sitting in his room looking real sad.  He's been cleaned and sutured, but needed a crutch.  I knew I had ONE crutch in my fortress, but did not know where it was.  WHY WON'T MY BONE DOCTOR GET THAT CRUTCH?!?!

After about 20 or 30 minutes of messing around I realize...wait...what are crutches made out of? Wood? Excellent, I have woodworker, carpenters and and carpentry shops. 
Construct Wooden Crutch
Construct Wooden Crutch
Construct Wooden Crutch

If this doesn't work...then I'll let him bleed out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Magistrum on May 06, 2014, 09:04:26 am
Don't worry, medical jobs have such low priority that doctors are well know for eating, drinking, attend a party, hanging around in the dining room with no job for months, and then, tend the wounded.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Henny on May 06, 2014, 02:43:10 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/Y9Pm2S3.png)

Wow, what an effective sluice valve I made!

Thankfully I built another one just in case, and it saved my meeting hall from drowning.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Abadayos on May 07, 2014, 08:27:27 am
Everything was going fine in my first year, 2 small migrant waves taking my fort to 20 dwarves. After getting a load of traps set up and other little projects started I get my first big migration wave...35 or so. I was expecting a large wave as my fortress worth had jumped to almost half a million in the first year (some expensive artifacts got made and trap components are not cheap).

Now that I have a large influx of fresh meat, I guess it's time to get the military set up because I now expect a decent sized invasion. Also just had a werebeast show up, my makeshift squad mobbed it and beat it to death with the butts of their crossbows. Was quite funny to watch as now I have a 10x10 area just outside the fort covered in blood. Only lost 1 dwarf but no-one knew them (new migrant) so not too bad.

Fun times ahead.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MerkerBenson on May 07, 2014, 04:03:24 pm
Legendary lumberjack, had arrived in 2nd year of the fort, wife of the bookeeper, survivor of countless sieges in the 8 year history of the fort, has a lumberjack JOB to do near the guarded entrance of the fort. What does she do? For no reason AT ALL, ignores her jobs, rational thought, food and water locations, anything useful to do and wanders off to the OTHER SIDE of the fort, at the EXACT SAME time as a goblin ambush. The dwarfette survives the archers, dodges them, then decides it's time to tempt fate again and stumbles upon another ambushing squad of lashers. But she's agile, she outruns them repeatedly...except she keeps running in circles. By the time the squad gets to her she's toast!!!
Why?! Oh why?! She had a job, nothing to do in that part of the map....sigh...I hate dwarfs!

Cheers
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kreydurst on May 07, 2014, 08:53:09 pm
Left food supplies atop of river on accident on embark. River melted. Dwarves went insane soon after due to my lack of giving a damn.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cryxis, Prince of Doom on May 08, 2014, 11:10:58 am
When the embark started and my fisher just walked up to a creek and got torn apart by lamprey and carp
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tawa on May 10, 2014, 07:37:54 am
I was tidying up a fort entryway by removing all the excess dirt in front of the entrance when I realized I had left the above floor. I designated my miners to go channel it out with the power of saidin, when one of them makes the famous decision to channel the spot he was standing on.

He landed, of all places, on his head.

Seeing the fort's lack of minepower, I abandoned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: klefenz on May 10, 2014, 07:01:44 pm
Rerouted a river underground, creating a lovely waterfall in the process. Migration wave comes, they have no better idea than cross the river through the waterfall. Now their corpses are stinking the new dining room, i wanted them to have good thoughts from the WF but now they have miasma as well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Argus_Mccray on May 11, 2014, 08:17:56 pm
I just had a hunter lose a fight... to a cavy sow. Apparently guinea pigs can cave in your skull.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Krawdad on May 11, 2014, 10:06:19 pm
I've been playing for about two years now and I never figured out why some dwarves would get the happiness modifier, "Has complained about the draft recently" when they had plenty of clothes equipped, often even armor, and it wasn't cold out or winter time. I facepalmed yesterday when I realized it was referring to being drafted into the military.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: joeymax23 on May 14, 2014, 09:50:01 pm
tfw

I realized that it's MUSICALITY and not MUSCICALITY
So when I thought I had been dumping all my points into buffed up superhuman adventurers, I was just making ones that are okay with a lut
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mr.Mountain on May 14, 2014, 11:28:30 pm
First forgotten beast came along. Landed one kick on my militia commander. The kick was deflected. Wrestler proceeds to bash FB's skull in. Perfect on my part, facepalm for the most pathetic FB ever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: indyofcomo on May 16, 2014, 09:55:41 am
Oh, so dwarves won't get babies and children food and water like they will animals and dwarves too busy to leave their workshop?  Ah, so my first nursery attempt was worthy of criminal charges....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McShire on May 16, 2014, 12:14:10 pm
I embarked yesterday for a new fortress with no tools, but the ores needed to smelt and make them. Everything was going along fine until I tried to build a wood furnace.

Needs fire-safe stone.

I forgot to bring any with me. Now I can't even made a pick to dig with. *EPIC FACEPALM*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WoobMonkey on May 16, 2014, 12:23:13 pm
You can allow one of your ores to be used in construction, through <z> ---> Stones.  Just remember to disallow it, once you have a piece of charcoal to build a new wood furnace.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: indyofcomo on May 16, 2014, 01:08:01 pm
Quote from: Urist McShire on May 16, 2014, 12:14:10 pm
I embarked yesterday for a new fortress with no tools, but the ores needed to smelt and make them. Everything was going along fine until I tried to build a wood furnace.
Needs fire-safe stone.
I forgot to bring any with me. Now I can't even made a pick to dig with. *EPIC FACEPALM*
Steal from the first caravan?  ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sal880612m on May 16, 2014, 01:28:22 pm
Quote from: WoobMonkey on May 16, 2014, 12:23:13 pm
You can allow one of your ores to be used in construction, through <z> ---> Stones.  Just remember to disallow it, once you have a piece of charcoal to build a new wood furnace.

I did basically the same thing as Urist McShire except I instead I took one of the stones you can't use for furnaces. I ended up using the iron bar I brought to build a kiln to collect some clay. Wish I had thought of the above.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McShire on May 16, 2014, 01:43:33 pm
Quote from: WoobMonkey on May 16, 2014, 12:23:13 pm
You can allow one of your ores to be used in construction, through <z> ---> Stones.  Just remember to disallow it, once you have a piece of charcoal to build a new wood furnace.

Last I checked, copper nuggets were not magma safe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Henny on May 16, 2014, 01:51:18 pm
Quote from: Urist McShire on May 16, 2014, 01:43:33 pm
Quote from: WoobMonkey on May 16, 2014, 12:23:13 pm
You can allow one of your ores to be used in construction, through <z> ---> Stones.  Just remember to disallow it, once you have a piece of charcoal to build a new wood furnace.

Last I checked, copper nuggets were not magma safe.
I thought one only needs fire-safe materials to build the needed workshops, though?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sal880612m on May 16, 2014, 04:17:48 pm
Yep, fire-safe is all you need if it isn't a magma furnace but since a significant portion of stones and IIRC all metals, glasses, and ceramics are fire safe no one really mentions it all that much.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on May 16, 2014, 06:35:23 pm
What qualifies as fire-safe? Lead and its alloy metals melt in FIREJET fire
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BlackFlyme on May 16, 2014, 06:58:51 pm
Quote from: TheFlame52 on May 16, 2014, 06:35:23 pm
What qualifies as fire-safe? Lead and its alloy metals melt in FIREJET fire

Lead, tin, zinc, bismuth, and all three types of pewter are not fire-safe metals. Anything that is stable at a temperature of 11,000 U is considered fire safe by the game.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrsStick on May 18, 2014, 12:26:14 am
I'm training up my melee squad by sending them to attack captured goblins tied up in my room of restraint(s). I checked the reports for this last one I sent...and it was, well, d0rfy.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

He eventually did get back to using his war hammer, steel buckler, punches, and kicks before finishing him off with the help of his squadmate who arrived with steel battle axe. But seriously? Why would you stop hammering and start punching/biting/shaking? I promise that goblins taste terrible. I don't even need to taste one to assure you of that!

Edited to add: I now have a gem setter on break in that room of future-military-training-fodder. Hiding between two chained goblins. Really? "He has admired a fine restraint lately."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: puke on May 18, 2014, 12:56:02 pm
Chained hostiles are not automatically attacked if you station a squad nearby, are they?  Did you use a kill order to achieve this?

Is the Gem Setter in danger / receiving attacks?  is he trapped as in he wants to run, but the chained Gobbos are blocking his exit?  I thought chained hostiles panicked civilians, but it's been a while since I had any.

This is actually a pretty brilliant training setup, I might improve it by using wooden training weapons to get more longevity out of the gobbos.  But I am very interested in this.  Would like to hear more.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BlackFlyme on May 18, 2014, 03:25:07 pm
Quote from: puke on May 18, 2014, 12:56:02 pm
Chained hostiles are not automatically attacked if you station a squad nearby, are they?  Did you use a kill order to achieve this?

Is the Gem Setter in danger / receiving attacks?  is he trapped as in he wants to run, but the chained Gobbos are blocking his exit?  I thought chained hostiles panicked civilians, but it's been a while since I had any.

This is actually a pretty brilliant training setup, I might improve it by using wooden training weapons to get more longevity out of the gobbos.  But I am very interested in this.  Would like to hear more.

Your militia won't attack automatically, but caravan guards will. If you want to use them for training, you will want to keep the restraints away from where caravans may see them. You can get your militia to attack the restrained creatures with a kill order.

Restrained creatures won't actively fight back, but when attacked they may be able to counterstrike. Chained creatures do not panic civilians.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: puke on May 18, 2014, 06:26:03 pm
Cool, thanks for the details.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrsStick on May 18, 2014, 10:31:52 pm
BlackFlyme said it all. I use a kill order. I actually need to put out more cage traps because I'm out of *ahem* training aids. I have a room next to my workshop room with restraints all along the wall. The only thing to make sure of is that you have taken all armor/weapons from the gobbos, or else your n00b dwarves might get killed. Ask me how I know that one...

So wait at least a few months after designating the gobbos' stuff for dumping and confirm that it has been removed (check your dump) before chaining or else you'll have to be very careful on who kills whom.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zarathustra30 on May 19, 2014, 01:09:15 am
So, I was being invaded by about 20 goblins. My highly-trained military could take them, so I sent them out. When I realized that was just the initial wave of a 150+ invasion force, I decided to retreat, closing my outer drawbridge behind my forces.  Unfortunately, my Captain of the Guard, one of the most badass of badasses (knocked out a goblin's teeth into the face of his friend, killing them both), was locked outside.  I decided to open the gate for him. He was promptly atomsmashed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: shevtsov200 on May 19, 2014, 05:34:16 am
Quote from: MrsStick on May 18, 2014, 12:26:14 am
Why would you stop hammering and start punching/biting/shaking?
I think, his hammer stucked and he didn't want to twist it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kreydurst on May 19, 2014, 03:20:11 pm
Quote from: Zarathustra30 on May 19, 2014, 01:09:15 am
He was promptly atomsmashed.

And this is the reason I always build a 2z level deep "Bridge" moat with no ramps (only staircases on the side.) To prevent accidental atom smashing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on May 20, 2014, 08:38:52 pm
A real predator, that.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sal880612m on May 20, 2014, 10:25:09 pm
Quote from: pisskop on May 20, 2014, 08:38:52 pm
A real predator, that.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

.... .... .... .... .... I wonder what a mouse would do to it?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jcochran on May 21, 2014, 11:22:56 am
Quote from: sal880612m on May 20, 2014, 10:25:09 pm
Quote from: pisskop on May 20, 2014, 08:38:52 pm
A real predator, that.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

.... .... .... .... .... I wonder what a mouse would do to it?
Well, just like the moth, it depends upon the size......
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Hetairos on May 24, 2014, 02:53:43 pm
I wanted to empty a magma pocket by channeling a wall from above. A safe method, isn't it?

The miner did his job and walked away through the ramp he has just created. A moment later, magma flowed out. Only the pick survived.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bwint on May 24, 2014, 04:19:25 pm
On my very first fort, I had some trouble getting farming set up, and by the time the caravan showed up, I was almost out of food. I did, however, have plenty of rock crafts, which I marked for trading along with all of the caravan's food. Then I pressed... "

There went all of my trade goods. We didn't last long after that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cerol Lenslens on May 24, 2014, 10:31:25 pm
Well.

That was sure a convoluted way of getting my fortress to die.

So, I'd reclaimed the fort with the frozen lake that unthawed immediately on embark, killing everybody. I dig in, do well for a year or so, and Bam! Goblin siege. I fend it off without much difficulty. The lake cut off most avenues of approach, and I had dug a channel across the land bridge to my fortress entrance, and put a drawbridge across it, made raiseable to help shield dwarves from, say, crossbow goblins. This was the fatal mistake, as, after a few enjoyable rounds of Goblin Catapulting, I ended up with a chasm full of mace goblins with nowhere to go. Then the next siege arrived a season later, and the Master showed up with his cavalry troops. I wanted to take him prisoner, so I tried to raise the drawbridge to cut him off from his troops until he hit my cage traps. However, for some reason my lever dwarf was more responsive than ever before and instead raised it before the Master even stepped on the bridge. So I lower the drawbridge, but he steps under it on his war jabberer, causing the bridge to break.

Now I can't get out. After the siegers get bored and leave, my dwarves refuse to rebuild the bridge, because of the moat full of injured mace goblins from two sieges ago. Meanwhile, merchants show up just as the siege ends and immediately get ambushed by more goblins! So now there's weapons all over the map, and I need them for my weapon trap lineup. But I can't reach them! I start a project involving a ballista to shoot those mace goblins, but my dwarves have learned to detect goblins from around corners, and can't be convinced to dig the fortifications I need to actually hit the bastards.

Then winter hits. Suddenly, my dwarves can reach all those goods the merchants and ambush goblins left lying around, and mass stampede out to them. I try to convince some to finish building a lake wall intended to prevent goblins from just charging across the frozen lake, but they'd rather do a little dance:

1) Cross half the map, climb the cliff to reach the weapon bin someone dropped.
2) See the mace goblins from across the screen.
3) Scream like a little girl and drop all their stuff.
4) Decide to reclaim their dropped stuff.
5) GOTO 2.

This keeps the entire fortress busy, except for the one dwarf who I'd forgotten was mooding and apparently couldn't find an item he wanted. He, appropriately enough, went berserk and killed the fortresses' entire supply of animals while the others were out, before succumbing to a torn out throat.

And then: The third siege in three seasons arrives! They do exactly what I was trying to build a wall to prevent, rampaging along the ice and clogging the preliminary traps with the corpses of their fallen. I'm desperately hoping for spring to arrive before the second and third waves arrive, but it is not to be. They proceed to massacre everyone in the fort, leaving me with three survivors. The goblins come rampaging out of the fort to hunt them down.

Then Spring hits. Hilariously, three quarters of the goblin army is now drowning!

Sadly, so are all three of my dwarves.

And those blasted macegoblins are still stuck in their stupid trench, having caused all this stupidity by just standing there and making faces at my dwarves and grinding all progress to a halt, and I imagine they're just laughing and laughing...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kumquat on May 25, 2014, 02:33:28 am

So, I finally found enough water for my caged giant tame sperm whales I got from traders and pitted them into the cavern lake.

Alas, the call of the meeting hall was too much for them to resist. They soon beached themselves onto the very spot they were pitted from and drowned from lack of water.

Lessons learned:
1) Whales are stupid.
2) In DF, whales are fish and cannot breathe air.
3) Dworfs can't make biscuits from a drowned whale, you have to butcher it while it's still alive... if you can get it to a butcher's shop fast enough before it drowns.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Linkxsc on May 25, 2014, 04:03:21 pm
^ you can butcher already dead animals. Though in the case of whales its best to bring the butcher to the corpse than the corpse to the butcher.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BlackFlyme on May 25, 2014, 04:08:08 pm
Quote from: Linkxsc on May 25, 2014, 04:03:21 pm
^ you can butcher already dead animals. Though in the case of whales its best to bring the butcher to the corpse than the corpse to the butcher.

Those whales were tame though. Tamed pets can only be slaughtered while they are alive. They cannot be butchered while dead. Wild animals are the exact opposite, where they must be dead to be butchered, and even if caged they cannot be slaughtered alive.

But at least it's a funny - if dark - scenario. Them breathing water is necessary for them to avoid drowning in the ocean though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheHossofMoss on May 25, 2014, 08:37:45 pm
I was digging a pit of death to throw some goblins or zombies into. It was all underground, and about 10-15 z-levels high. It had a couple upright spear traps at the bottom, and as well as some good weapon traps fitted with two-handed swords and whips. At the top, it had a dining room with windows for my Expedition Leader and Manager to watch the poor souls that fell into the pit, whilst eating their Turkey Roast.

Well... the first fatality of it was not a goblin, nor was it a zombie. It was my best miner at the time, Erith Erithmeng. I thought i had everything correctly dug out in the right order, so that no rocks would fall on my miners below. I had all but one of those correctly laid out. JUST AS Erith finished his channel, causing an open space to appear, another miner from above channeled out a hole above him. The rock hit him on the head, and then he fell down into the pit, getting impaled on the spears.

I made an elaborate tomb for him. Maybe I should take out the trap that killed him, and put it next to his tomb?  :D

Only the best for the Dwarves of Bustedbrims!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: doublestrafe on May 27, 2014, 01:07:13 am
Quote from: BlackFlyme on May 25, 2014, 04:08:08 pm
Quote from: Linkxsc on May 25, 2014, 04:03:21 pm
^ you can butcher already dead animals. Though in the case of whales its best to bring the butcher to the corpse than the corpse to the butcher.

Those whales were tame though. Tamed pets can only be slaughtered while they are alive. They cannot be butchered while dead. Wild animals are the exact opposite, where they must be dead to be butchered, and even if caged they cannot be slaughtered alive.
You know, I remember finding a workaround to this, but for the life of me I can't remember whether it actually required reanimating them as zombies.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JAFANZ on May 27, 2014, 09:14:02 am
Quote from: doublestrafe on May 27, 2014, 01:07:13 am
Quote from: BlackFlyme on May 25, 2014, 04:08:08 pm
Quote from: Linkxsc on May 25, 2014, 04:03:21 pm
^ you can butcher already dead animals. Though in the case of whales its best to bring the butcher to the corpse than the corpse to the butcher.

Those whales were tame though. Tamed pets can only be slaughtered while they are alive. They cannot be butchered while dead. Wild animals are the exact opposite, where they must be dead to be butchered, and even if caged they cannot be slaughtered alive.
You know, I remember finding a workaround to this, but for the life of me I can't remember whether it actually required reanimating them as zombies.
Is this where the "Execution Tower of Gibbing" comes in? IIRC if drop the "tame" beastie far enough it explodes on impact you can butcher the pieces? (Note, it's been a while since I actually played, so I may be misremembering).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on May 27, 2014, 04:56:24 pm
Quote from: JAFANZ on May 27, 2014, 09:14:02 am

Is this where the "Execution Tower of Gibbing" comes in? IIRC if drop the "tame" beastie far enough it explodes on impact you can butcher the pieces? (Note, it's been a while since I actually played, so I may be misremembering).
I tried a tower of gibbing, but it didn't work for me, they just dragged the dismembered corpse bits back to the corpse stockpile to rot
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tawa on May 28, 2014, 08:37:29 pm
My fisherdwarf just drowned himself. There weren't any carp or anything around, he just straight up died.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hops on May 29, 2014, 05:06:06 am
Quote from: Tawarochir on May 28, 2014, 08:37:29 pm
My fisherdwarf just drowned himself. There weren't any carp or anything around, he just straight up died.
Goblin: General? We were told by the Dark lord to kill the dwarves, so why are we throwing socks in the pond instead of attacking them?
Goblin General: HehehehehehehehehahahHAHAHAHAHA
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Meneth on May 29, 2014, 06:56:26 am
I just realized you could use Carve Track (d-T) to make Impulse Ramps. Previously I had always Built them, which took a lot more keypresses and stone blocks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Icecoon on May 29, 2014, 10:26:33 am
This is one of them..
It is during a siege and that goblin just danced his way through the arrows(using a mod).

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jcochran on May 29, 2014, 10:37:29 am
Quote from: Icecoon on May 29, 2014, 10:26:33 am
This is one of them..
It is during a siege and that goblin just danced his way through the arrows(using a mod).

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yup, the various weapon lords are very very hard to hit. You ought to see what the combat log looks like when one of 'em gets into the goblin grinder. They pretty much never get hit. In fact, they are the reason that my goblin grinders are now   hatch cover, pressure plate, weapon trap, weapon trap, ..., weapon trap, cage trap, pressure plate, hatch cover. The normal troops get diced and sliced fairly rapidly among the first few weapon traps and the weapon master dances and avoids all the weapon traps before being grabbed by the cage trap at the end of the line.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tawa on May 29, 2014, 02:50:25 pm
Upon closer inspection, the typical angry honey badgers caused him to jump into the pond.

That idiot.

Also, the game gives you a notification when someone is stung by a bee.

This calls for a comic.

(http://i58.tinypic.com/j9c6sk.png)

EDIT: Oh, lol. My dorfs kept engraving windows on the wall of the dining room.

(http://i58.tinypic.com/29uoldc.gif)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on May 29, 2014, 04:27:56 pm
That last one made me crack up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tawa on May 29, 2014, 08:08:56 pm
Yay, I finally made a funny comic.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on May 29, 2014, 10:09:54 pm
That moment when you realize that your forgot to separate the were-elephant from the dining hall party before the full moon . . .
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hops on May 30, 2014, 12:28:49 am
Quote from: pisskop on May 29, 2014, 10:09:54 pm
That moment when you realize that your forgot to separate the were-elephant from the dining hall party before the full moon . . .
At least it wasn't a wedding.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WillowLuman on May 30, 2014, 12:41:07 am
Embarked on a volcano with a tiny bit of forest in the corner, set my dwarfs to build a bridge over the crater, carve a massive awesome entrance, only to realize the only soil is aaaaall the way over in that tiny corner. Had to dig all the way to the caverns, and thankfully got a large chunk that was easy to wall off, but now I'll have to build most of the fort far away from the awesome entrance hall, waaaaaaaay deep down.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on May 30, 2014, 01:10:47 am
Quote from: Objective on May 30, 2014, 12:28:49 am
Quote from: pisskop on May 29, 2014, 10:09:54 pm
That moment when you realize that your forgot to separate the were-elephant from the dining hall party before the full moon . . .
At least it wasn't a wedding.
Would certainly be an order of magnitude worse than having ol' uncle Urist get up on a table and give a sober toast to the couple.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dampe on May 30, 2014, 09:37:15 am
Spending about 30 minutes carefully planning my embark, and then realizing I forgot to give any of my dwarves the "Miner" skill.
I didn't even make it to the first migrant wave, all seven dwarves were slaughtered in an alligator attack.  :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on May 30, 2014, 09:40:50 am
Cage traps.  So awesome.  A line of them by the river and a pastured animal.  Worth it if you have wood.

As an aside, am I the only one who notices that there is an awesome animal for taming/capture on the map (or one that shortly migrates onto the map) when the game starts and once it leaves it never shows up again?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sal880612m on May 30, 2014, 09:46:47 am
That happens to me as well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on May 30, 2014, 08:55:10 pm
Quote from: Dampe on May 30, 2014, 09:37:15 am
Spending about 30 minutes carefully planning my embark, and then realizing I forgot to give any of my dwarves the "Miner" skill.
I didn't even make it to the first migrant wave, all seven dwarves were slaughtered in an alligator attack.  :-[
Couldn't you have just assigned a dwarf to mining? Or did you and they were just too slow?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: k on June 05, 2014, 09:07:59 am
Embarked on a cold area. Dug a reservoir and began to fill it with water. One z-level lower than the river bed. It worked well. The next year, I decided to refill it when the water were all used to make a bathtub. And I opened the reservoir gate. However, water flooded from the well and four dwarves immediately drowned. It turns out that the downstream of the river is right on the edge of a colder area, and hasn't thawed yet, so the river was dammed, and water would rise to the same z-level as the river bed!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: thefish1992 on June 06, 2014, 12:04:59 pm
When designing a gas chamber. in its first test i learned 4 things about these things.poison gas FB don't have much range. That FBs with poison in its description dose NOT guarantee it will be a lethal poison,(vomit but thats about it), that i did not plan it to keep archer from just killing (a fairly useless) FB, and finally that my water purge system i had originally planned to clean the goblinite makes for a really good drown trap.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: firelord84 on June 06, 2014, 06:05:41 pm
So, I finally negotiate peace with the elves and they give me a tree-cutting quota because, honestly, I don't have time to deal with them and my ranged defenses are currently imperfect.  The elf diplomat proceeds to leave via the main entryway and gets slaughtered by my civ's dwarven caravan which is currently trading there and, apparently, still at war *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: h.scorpio on June 07, 2014, 09:43:01 am
Quote from: firelord84 on June 06, 2014, 06:05:41 pm
So, I finally negotiate peace with the elves and they give me a tree-cutting quota because, honestly, I don't have time to deal with them and my ranged defenses are currently imperfect.  The elf diplomat proceeds to leave via the main entryway and gets slaughtered by my civ's dwarven caravan which is currently trading there and, apparently, still at war *facepalm*

Surprised your civ didn't declare war on you. Negotiating with elves.... tststs... you should know better
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on June 09, 2014, 06:55:56 pm
(http://s9.postimg.org/n2c95f6un/image.png)

seriously? it wasn't even made of mud or something similarly fragile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: deepfreeze78 on June 09, 2014, 07:36:24 pm
Quote from: PDF urist master on June 09, 2014, 06:55:56 pm
seriously? it wasn't even made of mud or something similarly fragile.

Woah, since when was the brain IN THE BODY?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on June 10, 2014, 06:36:54 am
some creatures, like earthworms, have their brain in the body.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on June 10, 2014, 07:24:31 am
Quote from: PDF urist master on June 10, 2014, 06:36:54 am
some creatures, like earthworms, have their brain in the body.

These piss me off, how easily they get one shotted.  And frequently by kicks too, interestingly enough.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Deus Asmoth on June 12, 2014, 10:39:18 am
Aren't kicks really powerful, or at least they used to be? I remember several dwarves getting killed by a rampaging horse that just kept kicking and biting them once.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spehss _ on June 12, 2014, 02:58:09 pm
Quote from: Deus Asmoth on June 12, 2014, 10:39:18 am
Aren't kicks really powerful, or at least they used to be? I remember several dwarves getting killed by a rampaging horse that just kept kicking and biting them once.
That might just be because it was a horse. Hooved creatures hit really hard with their kicks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on June 12, 2014, 05:07:26 pm
I think it's just because my lasher was unbelievably strong, so it felt less like a kick and more like a brick to the face at mach 10.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dan96kid on June 12, 2014, 10:59:24 pm
Getting a fisher dwarf trapped on the other side of a river.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrsStick on June 15, 2014, 02:39:18 am
My hammerer has just been sentenced to 1 Hammerstrike for violation of a production order (it's not like you can just tell them to make bracelets...).

I'm excited to see how this goes down.

EDIT:

I was playing all afternoon. Brought the laptop into the kitchen to refer to a recipe, and didn't stop playing (I was trading with the Mountainhomes! New weapons for my traps!). Laptop battery died one minute before I was done to bring it back to the charger. Lost everything I'd done today. Too disheartened to keep playing for the moment. *sigh*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KiBoy on June 15, 2014, 07:51:00 pm
Seeing my first megabeast ever  ( minotaur ) get randomly shot to death by my only huntress that wanted to take a bath... Freaking pervert... If you only saw the terror in his eyes when he was fleeing her. :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on June 16, 2014, 08:49:06 am
Quote from: KiBoy on June 15, 2014, 07:51:00 pm
Seeing my first megabeast ever  ( minotaur ) get randomly shot to death by my only huntress that wanted to take a bath... Freaking pervert... If you only saw the terror in his eyes when he was fleeing her. :P
I had a minotaur visit my fortress, only to get his head bashed in in a single blow by a macedwarf...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on June 16, 2014, 10:37:03 am
I had two minotaurs visit my fortress. Both were burned to death and eaten.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KiBoy on June 18, 2014, 05:10:23 am
Quote from: Aslandus on June 16, 2014, 08:49:06 am
Quote from: KiBoy on June 15, 2014, 07:51:00 pm
Seeing my first megabeast ever  ( minotaur ) get randomly shot to death by my only huntress that wanted to take a bath... Freaking pervert... If you only saw the terror in his eyes when he was fleeing her. :P
I had a minotaur visit my fortress, only to get his head bashed in in a single blow by a macedwarf...

Gee, minotaurs are so underwhelming...

Well, I recently caught an ettin, so... HOW SHOULD I WEAPONIZE IT?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tonic on June 18, 2014, 08:10:11 am
I've had a couple of minotaur children visit my fort.  The last one got dismembered, his teeth punched out, and his head crushed.  I feel really bad for him.  Minotaur children.  Reminds me of that D&D game where I put kobold women and children in the dungeon.  Don't ever do that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nyxalinth on June 19, 2014, 10:27:38 pm
I kept seeing a rock on my otherwise pristine area... kept trying to dump it.  No dwarf would touch it.  finally, I checked to see if it was forbidden.  Turned out I was trying to dump the dump :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Melting Sky on June 20, 2014, 08:16:11 am
I found an axelord with multiple +5 legendary skills starved to death in a cage he fell into during a fistfight with another dwarf. He was literally within mere footsteps of the damn well too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: k on June 20, 2014, 10:34:05 am
A copperstar room surrounded by windows is built to defend against migration, and a migrant who is killed, turns out to be a vampire. They are not really that tough!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on June 20, 2014, 04:18:50 pm
I've been trying to build a 4 floor arena and before I finished channeling the 1st floor, I've already had 5 cave ins, in which two legendary miners got horribly injured. one can't walk due to a broken leg and the other can't grasp due to breaking both arms.

great practice for the hospital though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrCompassionate on June 20, 2014, 08:31:32 pm
Something that happens fairly often is I see a forgotten beast coming up from below, so we all gather behind the deeping gates. The entire army gathers behind the doors as we hear the fell beast slam furiously against it! I start up some epic music to set the mood, I brace myself for the battle of a lifetime.

Then it SMASHES the doors down! Then gets shot once in the head dieing instantly. Everybody goes home.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Melting Sky on June 21, 2014, 08:00:32 pm
I discovered adamantine and mined it out for the first time. My +5 legendary weapon smith for one reason or another couldn't seem to make masterwork weapons from it most of the time which was driving me nuts. So I  quickly looked up the melt tables and at a glance it looked like melting my picks and battle axes and reforging them would actually net me a 120% return each time I did it. So I did the only logical thing which was I to melt down each and every battle axe and pick the smith made except for the masterwork ones. In the end I repeated this a couple of dozen times trying to reforge all his failures into master pieces.

Sometime after finally getting the handful of masterwork axes and picks I needed, I was looking through my stocks menu and to my horror I noticed all my glorious stacks of adamantine wafers were gone. They had vanished into thin air! Then the horror of what had happened dawned on me. I went back and looked at the wiki again and noticed underneath the melt table that adamantine was the exception to the rule and you lose 70% of it every time you melt down a weapon. I had vaporized 60 priceless wafers of adamantine.   :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spehss _ on June 21, 2014, 08:44:39 pm
After a majority of my legendary military and lots of civilian dwarves got webbed and slain by a web spitting coral forgotten beast, a farmer killed the thing by kicking its head off.

How anticlimactic. Here I was all prepared to watch the beast rampage through my fort, and then it goes and dies.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on June 21, 2014, 11:02:05 pm
Quote from: Melting Sky on June 21, 2014, 08:00:32 pm
I went back and looked at the wiki again and noticed underneath the melt table that adamantine was the exception to the rule and you lose 70% of it every time you melt down a weapon. I had vaporized 60 priceless wafers of adamantine.
Well, on the bright side, one set of 500 adamantine coins split (via trading) and melted down yields you a net 49 wafers each round. It's 620 melt jobs to get all your wafers back, but at least you don't have to micromanage redesignating melt like when you fail to make a masterwork.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KiBoy on June 22, 2014, 09:39:54 am
I have a LEVITATING Dwarven caravan.

I removed all the floors and walls under them. No luck. These bastards are stuck in mid-air.

How to get them down? ( That doesn't involve cave-ins or magma preferably. )
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheKaspa on June 22, 2014, 12:20:54 pm
Made an embark team with hens, a rooster, a couple of cows, good sets of skills.
Forgot the anvil.
For the first year I had a single miner, then I managed to buy an iron pick (I wanted a copper one, but the liaison had only irony).
I ordered for an anvil, since I have  plenty of copper and silver bars: got a swarm of miners in the next migrant weave.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: terko on June 23, 2014, 11:13:36 pm
I finally figured out how the military screen works ... damn, that's so frickin' easy and self explanatory once you got it. 'FACEPALM'.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rdiger on June 24, 2014, 09:26:43 am
Quote from: Bumber on June 21, 2014, 11:02:05 pm
Quote from: Melting Sky on June 21, 2014, 08:00:32 pm
I went back and looked at the wiki again and noticed underneath the melt table that adamantine was the exception to the rule and you lose 70% of it every time you melt down a weapon. I had vaporized 60 priceless wafers of adamantine.
Well, on the bright side, one set of 500 adamantine coins split (via trading) and melted down yields you a net 49 wafers each round. It's 620 melt jobs to get all your wafers back, but at least you don't have to micromanage redesignating melt like when you fail to make a masterwork.

Or adamantine minecarts which cost 1 wafer and return 1.8 wafers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on June 24, 2014, 08:37:02 pm
Quote from: Rdiger on June 24, 2014, 09:26:43 am
Or adamantine minecarts which cost 1 wafer and return 1.8 wafers.
Interesting. Seems it's because of this bug (http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/mantisbt/view.php?id=6230).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KiBoy on June 25, 2014, 09:35:51 am
Quote from: Bumber on June 24, 2014, 08:37:02 pm
Quote from: Rdiger on June 24, 2014, 09:26:43 am
Or adamantine minecarts which cost 1 wafer and return 1.8 wafers.
Interesting. Seems it's because of this bug (http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/mantisbt/view.php?id=6230).

So all I need is 2 adamantine to clone it endlessly? * fanfare *

Hell yeah, and I was worried I'd have to melt coins...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Equus on June 26, 2014, 04:14:49 am
i accidentally made my gemcutter build a jeweler without making sure he had an exit.
something i only noticed when the message "gem cutter has been missing for a week" appeared... such a newbie mistake.   
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Magistrum on June 26, 2014, 06:39:12 am
Quote from: Equus on June 26, 2014, 04:14:49 am
i accidentally made my gemcutter build a jeweler without making sure he had an exit.
something i only noticed when the message "gem cutter has been missing for a week" appeared... such a newbie mistake.   
Don't worry, this is a quite common mistake... Happens when you just got to set up a new floor to the fortress and is making twenty or more rooms at once, some things slip by...
Oh, and welcome to the forums!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KiBoy on June 26, 2014, 02:04:08 pm
I have a pet kitten that I have no idea what do with it. I can't cage it, chain it, military won't touch it either. And I don't want catsplosion any time soon, so... Any ideas?

Oh wait, nevermind. I just remembered magma solves EVERYTHING.

Quote from: David The Master on June 26, 2014, 06:39:12 am
Quote from: Equus on June 26, 2014, 04:14:49 am
i accidentally made my gemcutter build a jeweler without making sure he had an exit.
something i only noticed when the message "gem cutter has been missing for a week" appeared... such a newbie mistake.   
Don't worry, this is a quite common mistake... Happens when you just got to set up a new floor to the fortress and is making twenty or more rooms at once, some things slip by...
Oh, and welcome to the forums!

I think we all starved/dehydrated our gemcutters to death at one point. It's like a rite of passage to become a fully-fledged dwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Agent_Irons on June 27, 2014, 01:03:17 am
Trying to get rid of some cast obsidian I accidentally created. Dug instead of taking the time to channel properly. The resulting cave in knocked my mayor/accountant/legendary +3 miner neatly down one z-level, breaking his neck. Not a scratch on him otherwise. Or on anyone else.

Reverse facepalm: deadly dust forgotten beast knocked a piece of granite into its own head, killing it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KiBoy on June 27, 2014, 01:14:30 pm
Quote from: Agent_Irons on June 27, 2014, 01:03:17 am
Trying to get rid of some cast obsidian I accidentally created. Dug instead of taking the time to channel properly. The resulting cave in knocked my mayor/accountant/legendary +3 miner neatly down one z-level, breaking his neck. Not a scratch on him otherwise. Or on anyone else.

Reverse facepalm: deadly dust forgotten beast knocked a piece of granite into its own head, killing it.

For some reason expedition leaders/mayors survive pretty often with head injuries. My expedition leader for example broke her skull from 1 z-level drop after a cave-in. She passed out a few times, but otherwise she immediately returned to work. Damn, dwarven women are freaking tough...

Oh well, FB are stupid, not much we can do about that...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Agent_Irons on June 27, 2014, 11:08:39 pm
Oh no, my mayor was instantly killed. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrsStick on June 29, 2014, 12:04:33 am
Finally got both atom-smashers up and running and pulled one of the levers. Instantly realize that a retracting bridge =/= atom smasher. It just fluffs the stuff around. I ran the other one (finally got over losing a few non-trash pieces, including a bit of iron) just to satisfy my need to destroy stuff, then designated the retracting bridge for removal. I'll re-build it...I like being able to sort stuff from one zone to the other to keep good stuff from being smashed. Hooray.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Imminent on June 30, 2014, 10:34:07 am
Modding a caste of dwarves to be [FIREIMMUNE_SUPER] dragon-handlers does NOT make them resistant to being boiled alive by the blood of exploding goblins that the dragons breathed on.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on June 30, 2014, 12:01:48 pm
I think what the FIREIMMUNEs do is they keep a unit from being on fire, not from melting in the heat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sal880612m on June 30, 2014, 08:41:31 pm
A falcon got into my fort and in a rush to catch it I threw up a row of cage traps only to have it get away and realize the cage traps were locking some merchants in.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: samanato on July 01, 2014, 09:40:44 am
Trying to dig an opening next to the river at the base of a waterfall to build a bridge there, and instead designating the digging in the level under that, where the river water was. Yeah...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bigjaredmonkey on July 01, 2014, 11:06:57 am
realizing how burrows work.

i r newb.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grax on July 01, 2014, 11:17:18 am
Quote from: bigjaredmonkey on July 01, 2014, 11:06:57 am
realizing how burrows work.

i r newb.
Somewhen you'll realize the way they don't work.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Steelmagic on July 02, 2014, 03:58:55 am
I dug into a river for a flow of water. I was going to control the flow with a floodgate, I only realized after mining out the tile that the floodgate wasn't finished yet. Also I had no failsafe and the fort was promptly flooded.

In another fort I intended to flood the elves so I could take their stuff, so when they arrived at the trade depot the room filled with water, all went well until I realized I did not build a way to drain the water after drowning the elves. I just generally don't agree with water, it seems.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on July 02, 2014, 03:00:11 pm
Quote from: MrsStick on June 15, 2014, 02:39:18 am
Brought the laptop into the kitchen to refer to a recipe, and didn't stop playing (I was trading with the Mountainhomes! New weapons for my traps!). Laptop battery died one minute before I was done to bring it back to the charger.
Why not use mains power?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrsStick on July 02, 2014, 07:05:59 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on July 02, 2014, 03:00:11 pm
Quote from: MrsStick on June 15, 2014, 02:39:18 am
Brought the laptop into the kitchen to refer to a recipe, and didn't stop playing (I was trading with the Mountainhomes! New weapons for my traps!). Laptop battery died one minute before I was done to bring it back to the charger.
Why not use mains power?

Didn't want to disentangle the cord. Laziness at its finest!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on July 02, 2014, 08:14:36 pm
Maybe you could buy a spare and leave it in the kitchen ready?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrsStick on July 03, 2014, 05:41:21 am
I just looked at my stills and saw tons of finished goods on them. So I check, and they're tattered clothes. Apparently dwarven rum makes my dwarves' clothes fall off...

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StumpytheOzzie on July 05, 2014, 05:42:35 am
I tried one of those "min/max" builds so I wouldn't waste 44 embark points on a copper pick and I'll take the cassiterite and copper nuggets instead.

Forget to bring anything fireproof, so I can't make a wood burner.

Try again... forget the anvil.

Try again and pack a million units of metal ores but forget booze.


4th time seems lucky so far.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jcochran on July 05, 2014, 09:22:48 am
Quote from: StumpytheOzzie on July 05, 2014, 05:42:35 am
I tried one of those "min/max" builds so I wouldn't waste 44 embark points on a copper pick and I'll take the cassiterite and copper nuggets instead.

Forget to bring anything fireproof, so I can't make a wood burner.

Try again... forget the anvil.

Try again and pack a million units of metal ores but forget booze.


4th time seems lucky so far.

Time to add another face palm. You can start off with a single ore and an anvil.
1. Deconstruct the wagon to get 3 logs.
2. Build a wood furnace using the ore.
3. Burn the wood to make 2 charcoal, and 1 ash.
4. Use the ash to make a smelter.
5. Deconstruct the wood furnace to get the ore back.
6. Smelt the ore.
7. Deconstruct the smelter.
8. Build a forge using the ash bar and anvil.
9. Use the forge to create an axe (you could instead create a pick, but you'll want the axe to get more wood to convert to charcoal)
10. Chop some wood.
Deconstruct the forge, build another wood furnace using the ash, convert a few logs to charcoal, deconstruct the wood furnace, build another forge, make a pick, continue on until you're a mountain home.....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on July 05, 2014, 12:04:40 pm
You'll need to release the ore for general-purpose use first. Go into the Stones menu, and set the appropriate ore stone to green. Change it back to red as soon as you order the building.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StumpytheOzzie on July 05, 2014, 07:25:20 pm
Quote from: jcochran on July 05, 2014, 09:22:48 am

Time to add another face palm. You can start off with a single ore and an anvil.
1. Deconstruct the wagon to get 3 logs.
2. Build a wood furnace using the ore.
3. Burn the wood to make 2 charcoal, and 1 ash.
4. Use the ash to make a smelter.
5. Deconstruct the wood furnace to get the ore back.
6. Smelt the ore.
7. Deconstruct the smelter.
8. Build a forge using the ash bar and anvil.
9. Use the forge to create an axe (you could instead create a pick, but you'll want the axe to get more wood to convert to charcoal)
10. Chop some wood.
Deconstruct the forge, build another wood furnace using the ash, convert a few logs to charcoal, deconstruct the wood furnace, build another forge, make a pick, continue on until you're a mountain home.....

1. Yep, I knew that.
2. Couldn't do that because I didn't know how to use cassiterite ore to build a wood furnace, or if cassiterite and copper nuggets would even be acceptable.
3+ Irrelevant because of 2, but I knew all that too.

So it's not really "facepalm" in my opinion, more like learning:

Quote from: Sutremaine on July 05, 2014, 12:04:40 pm
You'll need to release the ore for general-purpose use first. Go into the Stones menu, and set the appropriate ore stone to green. Change it back to red as soon as you order the building.


See, now if I do this again... NOW it's a facepalm moment to not use cassiterite to build a wood burner.

The facepalm is for obvious dumb shit like forgetting an anvil. Or forgetting booze. (and seeds and barrels. I know it's doable, but not by me... not yet)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: @ on July 05, 2014, 07:43:19 pm
Used to dig the aquifer out for fish.. And then my whole fortress was filled with water..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on July 05, 2014, 07:59:49 pm
Quote from: Agent_Irons on June 27, 2014, 11:08:39 pm
Oh no, my mayor was instantly killed. :(


By what? How? Really, the way you put it now, Its like saying "oh, no, it rains!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on July 06, 2014, 03:03:53 pm
There aren't a lot of ways to instantly kill someone.

The only ways that I can think of are decapitation, bisection, freezing, obsidianizing, cave ins, atomsmashing, headshots that damage the brain and VERY specific syndromes.

out of the eight, two are extremely rare (freezing, obsidianizing), two are easily controllable (cave-ins and atomsmashing), leaving only the four which could happen in combat.

the most likely out of the four is probably a headshot. decapitiation and bisection don't happen that often and if an instant death evil cloud/forgotten beast showed up, it's probably too !!FUN!! not to mention.

my guess is that a random asshole dwarf punched the mayor in the face and the punch killed him instantly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Walrusking on July 06, 2014, 06:22:27 pm
Hmm:
- A hunter becoming "attached" to his crossbow (considering a dwarf was in the hospital, it may have been attatched to a broken leg)

- Forgetting to set up a military before a siege.

- Having dwarves eat all the plump helmets so quickly that there was no way to make alcohol.

- A goblin breaking the bones of THREE dwarves with metal armor before dying.

- The "incredible" medical staff forgetting that injured dwarves drink and finding them dead from dehydration.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheHossofMoss on July 07, 2014, 12:10:46 am
Quote from: Walrusking on July 06, 2014, 06:22:27 pm
Hmm:
- A hunter becoming "attached" to his crossbow (considering a dwarf was in the hospital, it may have been attatched to a broken leg)

- Forgetting to set up a military before a siege.

- Having dwarves eat all the plump helmets so quickly that there was no way to make alcohol.

- A goblin breaking the bones of THREE dwarves with metal armor before dying.

- The "incredible" medical staff forgetting that injured dwarves drink and finding them dead from dehydration.

I know that feel. ;_;
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WalkerRiley on July 07, 2014, 01:02:10 am
A weregopher, bronze colossus, and a UFB all attacked my site within minutes of each other.  My dwarves fought the good fight, and their families were drafted when they fell, until I had but 10 dwarves remaining and a severely dented colossus deciding if it wanted to burst through the only door between it and the rest.  It did.  And that human caravan?  Never stood a chance.


Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imlovinit on July 07, 2014, 08:28:47 pm
Toady misspelling the release date for the new version. But despite that he remains a god among men.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: reality.auditor on July 08, 2014, 05:00:08 am
Quote from: imlovinit on July 07, 2014, 08:28:47 pm
Toady misspelling the release date for the new version. But despite that he remains a god among men.
Copy&paste - bane of programmers everywhere.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Romesaria on July 08, 2014, 03:23:49 pm
I did this one yesterday afternoon.

I started a new fortress in a ruined world gen of mine.  I start by digging down a few z-levels and accidentally hitting a cavern.

In an interest to not deal with the cavern nasties just yet, I channeled out the stairs leading down and built a floor over it.

It was a set of up-down stairs, and I didn't realize what I had done until I killed on my miners on the embark.

I hope my next migrant wave has at least one miner in it, to rescue all the dead bodies... :o

P.S. my only carpenter just fell off a construction I was trying to build and offed himself.  I don't even.

And now, that fort has fallen.  It was looking up for a while, but a tantrum spiral started... some child went beserk, so one of my military dwarves offed him, that caused his mother to go beserk...

I pretty much abandoned the fortress once I was down to 1 Dwarf and 5 children.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Shinotsa on July 09, 2014, 06:28:08 pm
First goblin siege of the new version, my waterfall fortress was fully prepared. A force of eight untrained goblin kidnapees versus a force of five well-armed dwarves (three of which were well trained) who had the advantage of defending. My militia commander ran up to the invading hammerdorf and caved his skull in after dodging an attack. The goblin force was routed immediately, but continued to be slaughtered by the three well-trained militia dwarves. Without sustaining more than a minor injury (which was only worth mentioning because it exacerbated a training wound) the militia dwarves triumphantly marched back in to regroup with their rookie comrades and their loved ones and families... only to come back to an empty town.

It turns out that the townsfolk were so sure that the goblins would be triumphant that they threw themselves off the cliffs and into the churning waters below. The two rookies followed suit, perhaps when their comrade sustained the slight wound, or perhaps at the mere sight of the outnumbering force. Needless to say, Momuz is more than a little peeved that he has to take up civilian duties as a reward for his rousing defeat of the goblins, but those slabs won't carve themselves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrsStick on July 10, 2014, 03:37:24 am
I'm trying to finish out my fort in v.0.34 before I try the new game. I just replaced my dead broker with a new one whose right upper leg is missing. His lower leg is somehow still attached though...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zarathustra30 on July 10, 2014, 03:11:27 pm
Just about shat myself when huge clouds the color of blood started appearing all across my map. They were leaves falling in autumn.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ArmokGoB on July 10, 2014, 06:03:22 pm
Quote from: Zarathustra30 on July 10, 2014, 03:11:27 pm
Just about shat myself when huge clouds the color of blood started appearing all across my map. They were leaves falling in autumn.

The seasons are conspiring against you.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on July 10, 2014, 09:22:24 pm
Quote from: AlexaiZ on July 10, 2014, 06:03:22 pm
Quote from: Zarathustra30 on July 10, 2014, 03:11:27 pm
Just about shat myself when huge clouds the color of blood started appearing all across my map. They were leaves falling in autumn.

The seasons are conspiring against you.

it was bound to happen.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on July 11, 2014, 12:35:58 am
Quote from: Zarathustra30 on July 10, 2014, 03:11:27 pm
Just about shat myself when huge clouds the color of blood started appearing all across my map. They were leaves falling in autumn.
Same happened to me, except with persimmons. It was terrifying. It was inevitable.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BFEL on July 11, 2014, 12:11:10 pm
Forgot that slabs require engraving and spent hours wondering why the hell no one would slab the damn miner.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spehss _ on July 11, 2014, 12:35:57 pm
Quote from: Shinotsa on July 09, 2014, 06:28:08 pm
First goblin siege of the new version, my waterfall fortress was fully prepared. A force of eight untrained goblin kidnapees versus a force of five well-armed dwarves (three of which were well trained) who had the advantage of defending. My militia commander ran up to the invading hammerdorf and caved his skull in after dodging an attack. The goblin force was routed immediately, but continued to be slaughtered by the three well-trained militia dwarves. Without sustaining more than a minor injury (which was only worth mentioning because it exacerbated a training wound) the militia dwarves triumphantly marched back in to regroup with their rookie comrades and their loved ones and families... only to come back to an empty town.

It turns out that the townsfolk were so sure that the goblins would be triumphant that they threw themselves off the cliffs and into the churning waters below. The two rookies followed suit, perhaps when their comrade sustained the slight wound, or perhaps at the mere sight of the outnumbering force. Needless to say, Momuz is more than a little peeved that he has to take up civilian duties as a reward for his rousing defeat of the goblins, but those slabs won't carve themselves.

So the dwarves got so terrified they jumped off the cliffs? Amazing. This update is amazing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rince Wind on July 11, 2014, 03:05:24 pm
The wagon broke down on the top of the mountain. So I made a stockpile for everything at the base. Started doing stuff, including forging armor for the soon to be milita. Then it dawned on me, that "everything" includes refuse.
Now I have some XXbismuth bronze greavesXX. Basically 3 whole seta of armor wasted.
Oh well, the magmaforges are online and I will be melting the stuff.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FaultyLogic on July 11, 2014, 09:58:34 pm
Started a new fort, with focus on quickly preparing for the inevitable. So I built a small wooden surface fort around the entrance to the real fort below. I kept some workshops and stockpiles in the yard, as well as a pasture while things got sorted out underneath.

In the first winter a band of goblins and humans attacked. I felt well prepared, I ordered the drawbridge to be raised and the marksdwarves to man the battlements. They did as they were told, very briefly, because as soon as they reached their position they climbed on top of the fortification and fell down over on the other side, quickly forming a neat pile of unconscious recruits in front of the
gate. Needless to say, the invaders were horrified and turned and ran.

Later in the following spring a were-ant eater arrived. We raised the drawbridge once more, only to realize we had left one poor soul outside who was fetching water from the river (our cistern was not yet finished). The were-beast quickly pounced upon him and tore him to pieces in an instant. Then it transformed into a friendly, female human who proceeded to climb our walls to hang from the outside of the battlements. Just hanging there until I finally ordered her to be shot, and she just dropped down and ran off.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Moltar on July 13, 2014, 06:03:32 pm
Just embarked on a nice magma tube situated just next to a nice waterfall. The waterfall drops about 10z levels and the magma tube starts there too. Started to dig out a fortress on the surface, and within a couple of minutes my mason and planter decided to fight each other (I think). They repeatedly threw each other into the surrounding trees. The planter broke both of her arms and is now completely useless, and the mason shambled around near the waterfall and magma tube. He, of course, fell off the cliff overlooking the magma tube and discovered a vast underground lake of magma 100+z levels below.
After that, my woodcutter got bored after killing a cougar, and thought it might be a good idea to drown himself. My nearby fisherman was overwhelmed with horror and was bit apart by a snapping turtle.

What the hell is wrong with these people?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kishmond on July 14, 2014, 02:19:31 am
Spent a while grinding throwing from dabbling to legendary, than traveled to a town.
Crash.


Sigh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SOLDIER First on July 14, 2014, 02:45:13 pm
Had some dwarves chop down a couple of willow trees, then saw the amount of wood that produced.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HawaiianJon on July 14, 2014, 05:02:34 pm
I started up Dwarf Mode, got to siege time and forgot the crucial fact of the update...
One layer walls can be climbed...

oh and all my dwarves hadn't been trained in any militant force... because I forgot all about the training factor as I was more amazed with cutting down ALL THE TREES.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wumpi on July 15, 2014, 01:48:44 am
Quote from: HawaiianJon on July 14, 2014, 05:02:34 pm
I started up Dwarf Mode, got to siege time and forgot the crucial fact of the update...
One layer walls can be climbed...

oh and all my dwarves hadn't been trained in any militant force... because I forgot all about the training factor as I was more amazed with cutting down ALL THE TREES.
Save the trees! The minotaur that had my people cowering in fear behind their walls slipped out of one while goofing around, and broke a leg. This occurrence was obviously the point where my dozen-and-a-half unarmed military dwarfs swarmed out and kicked him to death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SOLDIER First on July 15, 2014, 02:29:50 am
(http://i60.tinypic.com/24q6cxw.jpg)
Hm. That doesn't sound too good.
(http://i57.tinypic.com/2nsyhwm.png)
Oh, damn it.

His corpse, along with that of my fish cleaner:
(http://i61.tinypic.com/zvveyc.png)
(His is the yellow one.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MarcAFK on July 15, 2014, 04:29:55 am
My expedition leader dehydrated for a month and y crops went unplanted because I had some trouble with an unusuable upwards/downwards ramp combo leading to my farms. I finally realised the problem and built some wooden stairs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Verjigorm on July 15, 2014, 02:31:29 pm
"hmm, this site looks great.   Two biomes, both include flux, shallow metals and deep metals, neither has an aquifer...Mostly flat, except that little outcropping of rock.    Yeah, and no aquifer to worry about."

Embark carefully, make a new template.
"Yeah, so all these carpenters will be useful for making blocks so I can bust the aquifer."

Embark.   


"Wait....  There's no aquifer here.    D'oh."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: deepfreeze78 on July 16, 2014, 11:10:10 am
Decided to gen a Large World, Very High Civs, Beasts, Sites, and Savagery, with Frequent Minerals. I've been waiting an hour and it's only at year 480, so I figured I'd stop it there. It hasn't responded in 20 minutes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Swonnrr on July 16, 2014, 03:39:28 pm
Got two necromancers invading at the same time in winter, but with only one corpse.
I scare the necro away, don't bother to hunt them in the trees.
They leave. Only the corpse left.

It's an elf corpse. Idling on the edge of the map.
"Meh, I'll just send my two axedwarves eliminate it." (Superior/masterwork copper axes and full copper armor)

First one proceed to land a few hits.
Get punched in the head through the + copper helm +! The injured part collapse in a lump of gore!
Second one takes a month to arrive. Going back to training and failpathing in the whole fort.
Get punched in the head through the + copper helm +! The injured part collapse in a lump of gore!

Oh, right. I forgot about the agility + strength boost.

Savescum, deal with it with crossbows.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Riklurt on July 16, 2014, 04:07:33 pm
Embarked in a haunted biome (full of "staring eyeball clusters") and decided to play it very careful. Sealed myself into the fortress near a volcano and started working on a magma purge against anything nasty that might come from outside, letting nothing in or out until it was finished. Plenty of food stocked up, had just finished making magma-safe mechanisms and floodgates and was about to pull the lever.

By now, plenty of undead mountain goats and giant badgers have gathered up outside. Just about to link up the final lever when I get the following message:

"Stray yak cow (tame) has starved to death."

I'd forgotten about the stupid things needing pastures to survive. Needless to say, it immediately animated as a hideous yak cow corpse and butchered the entire fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fishybang on July 16, 2014, 08:35:21 pm
Quote from: Riklurt on July 16, 2014, 04:07:33 pm
Embarked in a haunted biome (full of "staring eyeball clusters") and decided to play it very careful. Sealed myself into the fortress near a volcano and started working on a magma purge against anything nasty that might come from outside, letting nothing in or out until it was finished. Plenty of food stocked up, had just finished making magma-safe mechanisms and floodgates and was about to pull the lever.

By now, plenty of undead mountain goats and giant badgers have gathered up outside. Just about to link up the final lever when I get the following message:

"Stray yak cow (tame) has starved to death."

I'd forgotten about the stupid things needing pastures to survive. Needless to say, it immediately animated as a hideous yak cow corpse and butchered the entire fortress.

Also if i remember correctly, lava doesn't do anything to husks, so your plan wouldn't have worked anyway :3
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tawa on July 17, 2014, 01:33:49 pm
One of my wrestlerdorfs threw another into the ground while sparring, caving his skull.

Real damn smart move.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: donald on July 18, 2014, 09:04:45 am
Quote from: Tawarochir on July 17, 2014, 01:33:49 pm
One of my wrestlerdorfs threw another into the ground while sparring, caving his skull.

Real damn smart move.

Related story:

A child threw a temper tantrum yesterday and punched my mayor through the skull.

Despite being found guilty, he was never sentenced.  I assume he pled insanity.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Astrid on July 18, 2014, 10:27:32 am
plead insanity because not an adult yet me thinks.... i could be wrong though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wumpi on July 18, 2014, 10:42:56 am
Quote from: donald on July 18, 2014, 09:04:45 am
Quote from: Tawarochir on July 17, 2014, 01:33:49 pm
One of my wrestlerdorfs threw another into the ground while sparring, caving his skull.

Real damn smart move.

Related story:

A child threw a temper tantrum yesterday and punched my mayor through the skull.

Despite being found guilty, he was never sentenced.  I assume he pled insanity.
In my "monk shrine" fort in 34.11, I quickly learned that wrestler dwarves need helmets. I had 2 severed spines in the first year.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vi Et Armis on July 18, 2014, 09:39:48 pm
When I get the resources, I put all dwarves in inactive squads with helmets.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bartholomew The Pious on July 19, 2014, 11:30:52 am
(http://puu.sh/aidNb/28bf952109.png)
when I deconstructed a floor tile, and one of my miners mining on top of it fell! not before clinging on a craggy wall of the caverns however! Still the clumsy yet durable dorf fell down, and broke his upper spine. Now that should be bad yeah? funny thing it doesn't stop dwarves from breathing anymore, unlike the last few versions when it was considered a fatal blow!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on July 19, 2014, 11:46:45 am
That's because the dorf's spine (that is, bone) was broken, not his upper nervous tissue. Now if the upper spine nervous tissue was torn...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bartholomew The Pious on July 19, 2014, 12:25:33 pm
Quote from: Splint on July 19, 2014, 11:46:45 am
That's because the dorf's spine (that is, bone) was broken, not his upper nervous tissue. Now if the upper spine nervous tissue was torn...
Perhaps, though we can't deny the head has been given some buffs to environmental and occupational damage. Oh and since the neck has been added, the upper spine nervous tissue must have more protection ergo to the neck so it's been moved to a somewhat safer area.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SOLDIER First on July 20, 2014, 01:45:03 am
Looking at my animals in Dwarf Therapist, I noticed they were all female.
...which caused me to remember that all my dwarves, save for the woodworker, were also female.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on July 20, 2014, 02:28:48 pm
Every time I get a weaponsmith in the first migrant wave, he never seems to survive to the end of the first year.


40d: a nasty critter I modded in comes and murders half my dwarves in the first winter, including the weaponsmith.

0.31: A forgotten beast emerges from the caverns in the first winter and kills my weaponsmith before being put down.

0.34: see above

0.40: A giant mole emerges from the caverns in the late summer and starts hanging out in my workshops, so I send my new fisherdwarf Militia Captain to train with it. While she's beating it to a pulp, the weaponsmith decides to get in on the action and gets a major head artery bit off. He was an adequate strand extractor that time, too.




EDIT: Turns out that last weaponsmith was the husband of the captain and now she's "very unhappy." Considering making her take a long walk on a long pier and making the pier shorter. The giant mole got better and ran off with a stack of roast yak organs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: deepfreeze78 on July 20, 2014, 02:44:41 pm
Quote from: Sentient Bowtie on July 20, 2014, 01:45:03 am
Looking at my animals in Dwarf Therapist, I noticed they were all female.
...which caused me to remember that all my dwarves, save for the woodworker, were also female.

That woodworker must be having fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rickshaw_Watcher on July 21, 2014, 05:09:49 pm
Just started playing Dwarf Fortress not even a week ago. Keep this in mind.

I created a big sleeping space for my dwarves but didn't want to make a dormitory since I already had the room finished and getting just the right placement for the initial bed is a pain. Instead I made each bed it's own bedroom (3x3) with the bed and a chest, one for every dwarf in my modest hole in the ground. Next few in game years I just kept getting loads and loads of migrants coming in like I was shooting gold out of my ears. I shot up from around 12 citizens to almost 60 in a short amount of time, overloading my ability to get food and starving the entire population. Rather than have my Dwarves go through a winter unable to feed themselves I just abandoned the fortress (they'll go back to the cities, right?) and looked up how to prevent migrants from coming around.

And that's how I found out what "perceived wealth" is and how every dwarf having their own beds and furniture makes that skyrocket, calling every down-on-their-luck dwarf forward to destroy my infrastructure like a bunch of stone-skinned termites.

Good to know just how easy it is to have Fun in this.

Quote from: donald on July 18, 2014, 09:04:45 am
A child threw a temper tantrum yesterday and punched my mayor through the skull.

You wouldn't have happened to start growing Maize at the time by any chance?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sadrice on July 22, 2014, 01:08:31 am
Quote from: Rickshaw_Watcher on July 21, 2014, 05:09:49 pm
didn't want to make a dormitory since I already had the room finished and getting just the right placement for the initial bed is a pain.

Do you mean that you have problems with when yoou are designating the room and are expanding it to fit, it bulges out through the doorway?  If so, don't worry, unless it overlaps with another room, and even then still probably don't worry.  If you are OCD enough for it to bother you, put your designation bed in the corner furthest from the entrance, or just use a door.  If you are OCD enough to care about room boundaries exceeding the literal room, you probably wanted doors anyways, and they have the handy benefit of blocking room expansion if set to external (default).

As for food, try poultry.  They are very cheap to bring on embark, and only a few hens will give you more eggs than you know what to do with, if you give them nestboxes (eggs must be cooked to be eaten, but you should be doing this anyways).  They are also the cheapest way to bring food on embark.  For 6 points (3 food) you get on average 19 units of food from a turkey, if butchered.  You could also get lots and lots of eggs from them, easily feeding an arbitrary number of dwarves.

For booze, you still need farming, but if you keep on top of it, you should be able to have more than enough alcohol without much trouble.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chevaleresse on July 22, 2014, 01:21:47 am
My moody dwarf sat around in her workshop demanding metal and cloth while staring at the smelter and loom for two months, then fell into melancholia. Wonderful.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mardukker on July 22, 2014, 12:17:21 pm
This one happened last night:

On my first Haunted embark, I realized how hard it is to get immigrants since they all insist on getting killed by zombies. As I was opening and closing the door trying to get them inside the fort, a dwarf zombie managed to get inside.

Eventually a big fight went down in a mine shaft hallway, and strangely enough the zombie wasn't fighting back. Everyone started getting big training boosts (since I had no trained dwarves whatsoever) and eventually I built some doors to lock the zombie in, with hopes of keeping him around for further training. Some time later I realized that one of his hands was cut off during the fight and it became a zombie itself. "Easy-peasy", I thought, as I sent some dwarves to kill it.

The hand killed almost all of them in a matter of seconds.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nikita on July 23, 2014, 02:43:31 am
Tried to dig through an aquifer by making a hole from below and having all the water fall a few dozen z levels and then flow through the drain tunnel.

It killed my fps. Takes 5 seconds for a dorf to go from one tile to the next.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uristides on July 23, 2014, 05:00:56 am
A bit meta: yesterday night I saved my game and went to sleep before it finished because I was so tired. Today the first thing I see when I awake is "Your fortress has been abandoned".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HawaiianJon on July 24, 2014, 11:47:44 am
I decided to embark with 4 towers as neighbors...
Within 10 mins real time, I shit you not, they brought in an army of 30 undead goblins SKILLED weapon users...
And since sieges prevent migrants and trade depots, I was doing the peasantry challenge as well.
If that wasn't enough, food supply was low because I forgot that the soldiers will choose training over farming.
EVEN WORSE...
The only soldier I had went berserk and crippled everyone and no-one could do surgery so they just sat there, the goblin zombie horde just sipping tea on the edge of the map like: This is a jolly good show old chaps, now, what do we do? Sit here? Ok then.

Now I am on a new world, same conditions, but this time I have a pick and sand.
and sand and a pick go hand in hand if you can create glass... which I have done.
SERRATED DISKS FOR EVERYONE! (Also a Human siege came soon after I got the disks, they took a look at my trap bridge than RAN AWAY... not a single one was like, 'DUH, WHAT DOES THIS DO!?')
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on July 24, 2014, 02:37:09 pm
Quote from: Untelligent on July 20, 2014, 02:28:48 pm
EDIT: Turns out that last weaponsmith was the husband of the captain and now she's "very unhappy."




Facepalm Update: The good news is that the militia captain is ecstatic instead of very unhappy now. The bad news is it's because she threw the doctor/mechanic/recordkeeper/manager/broker into the river. The doctor fell down a waterfall into a major river canyon, next to a giant sponge.


EDIT: He's climbing back up the waterfall, I shit thee not.


EDIT: aaaand the waterfall pushed him back off when he got to the top and now he's unconscious and drowning drowned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on July 25, 2014, 07:33:36 am
I have 2750 drinks and people keep dying of thirst. WTF???
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mortimer1066 on July 25, 2014, 11:02:48 am
Quote from: GuesssWho on July 25, 2014, 07:33:36 am
I have 2750 drinks and people keep dying of thirst. WTF???

Are they injured?  If injured they need a source of water and an empty bucket. 

I used to have problems where a siege would happen and a few dwarves got injured and I'd lock up the fort and either not have empty buckets or a water source inside and they'd start dying of thirst.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on July 25, 2014, 03:00:55 pm
I noticed a fungiwood trunk in my barracks, so I chopped it down.


I forgot my barracks were just under the river, and the fungiwood had apparently poked a large hole in the riverbed. I managed to rescue the militia commander, her baby, and a stray cat before the flooding breached the doors, so my only losses are a bunch of equipment I bought from the caravan and some valuable space. I might be able to drain the barracks when the river freezes next winter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on July 25, 2014, 04:30:43 pm
Quote from: GuesssWho on July 25, 2014, 07:33:36 am
I have 2750 drinks and people keep dying of thirst. WTF???
Are the drinks accessible?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nikita on July 26, 2014, 09:12:50 am
Quote from: GuesssWho on July 25, 2014, 07:33:36 am
I have 2750 drinks and people keep dying of thirst. WTF???

Maybe a burrow is to blame.

Edit:

Game crashed. This is what happens when you don't save for 3 hours.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: UltraMagnus on July 26, 2014, 07:19:12 pm
Quote from: HawaiianJon on July 24, 2014, 11:47:44 am
I decided to embark with 4 towers as neighbors...
Within 10 mins real time, I shit you not, they brought in an army of 30 undead goblins SKILLED weapon users...
And since sieges prevent migrants and trade depots, I was doing the peasantry challenge as well.
If that wasn't enough, food supply was low because I forgot that the soldiers will choose training over farming.
EVEN WORSE...
The only soldier I had went berserk and crippled everyone and no-one could do surgery so they just sat there, the goblin zombie horde just sipping tea on the edge of the map like: This is a jolly good show old chaps, now, what do we do? Sit here? Ok then.

Now I am on a new world, same conditions, but this time I have a pick and sand.
and sand and a pick go hand in hand if you can create glass... which I have done.
SERRATED DISKS FOR EVERYONE! (Also a Human siege came soon after I got the disks, they took a look at my trap bridge than RAN AWAY... not a single one was like, 'DUH, WHAT DOES THIS DO!?')

Semi-related because goblin entertainment.

A shitty home that I made needed a secure place to grow strawberries, because food and wine. I also needed a skylight for my soldiers' barracks. The obvious approach seemed to make a wood wall surrounding the strawberry fields. Unbeknownst to me at the time, construction was suspended (any and all notifications for it were buried in misc "Urist McFarmer cancels action plant seeds: Needs plump helmet spawn" or "Urist McBrew canceled action brew drink: Reasons"). While I will admit that it was partially my fault for not paying closer attention, it's hard not to feel contempt whenever 5 Urist McAsswipes decide that sleeping and/or talking is more important than doing their job.
Cue one soldier getting killed during a goblin siege, and this happens:
(http://i62.tinypic.com/207ltw2.png)
Not all of them are shown in this one image, but about 3/4 of my fortress ran from the hole on top of the hill (I forbid all other exit doors, but those carpenters...) straight into an open goblin ambush like lambs to the slaughter. The rest were either preoccupied with workshop tasks or lazy carpenters.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NomeQueEuLembro on July 27, 2014, 07:56:19 pm
Once I was attacked by a goblin siege. I had nothing to fear: I just needed to close my fortress and wait those guys go away, and so I did.
I was just happy with how awesome I was until the moment the Tantrum Spiral started and I realized dwarves needed something to drink.

Also, once I had a fortress next to a beach and prepared an underground chamber, wich ceilling was held by a single support and was filled with ocean-water. Then, I had a undead raid, but only the necromancer came. I tought: "Man, I'm so lucky! That's awesome! I'm gonna kill, put it over my chamber and collapse the support!". Besides the hard time I had until I learnt how to dump itens outside I got really surprised when I discovered necromancers can raise themselves from the dead and even more when after a lot of "haul body-kill undead body" my butchered parts destroyed my fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sculleywr on July 28, 2014, 11:41:16 pm
Well, while finding rotten roaches due to cats (which I keep butchering the second they migrate in) is not unusual, I think my Urist McNecropants has relatives in my fortress, because I have a miasma problem in my bedrooms, on the 5th basement level of my fortress. Past my food stores, my workshops, and my barracks/hospital. So I go searching for the random rodent, only to find that three of my Urists have brought dead badgers into bed with them, and let them rot for gods know how long.

Also, on a not so facepalm moment, my first goblin attack wasn't a standard attack, but a full-blown siege, shortly after I had finished equipping my soldiers with shiny new copper armaments. Untrained, and with only a few badger boars notching their blades, The Roasted Gears waited in the northern farms, short of my entrance, for the 20-something goblins and their cave crawler to come in. In what can only be described as the shortest battle in my history of playing this game, the goblins were massacred at the front entrance, with their legendary swordsman taking a copper bolt straight through his eyeball, consequently snapping his spine and removing his head to its new position pinned to the wall of my fort. Coming from a novice marksman, I can hardly believe it. I'm forging nine more copper crossbows for my soldiers to carry into battle.

edit: welp, the second siege wasn't so good. 50 goblins have destroyed my fortress -_-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Julien Brightside on July 29, 2014, 04:16:17 am
Quote from: sculleywr on July 28, 2014, 11:41:16 pm
with their legendary swordsman taking a copper bolt straight through his eyeball, consequently snapping his spine and removing his head to its new position pinned to the wall of my fort. Coming from a novice marksman, I can hardly believe it. I'm forging nine more copper crossbows for my soldiers to carry into battle.

Was the crossbow by any chances a modified cannon?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Atomisk on July 29, 2014, 05:12:07 am
Thinking 'Daggerways" was a cool fort name, reading the note after embark and facepalming as i read; "Uristdeg" is my fort's name.

They were all slaughtered by crocodiles on embark btw.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sda209 on July 29, 2014, 02:57:12 pm
When I was preparing for embark to a fort, I accidentally pressed 'e,' the game began loading the embark, and I thought it froze for a moment. Then, the introduction to the embark screen showed up.

I also did this for another two consecutive times, on the same embark.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sculleywr on July 29, 2014, 04:03:54 pm
Quote from: Julien Brightside on July 29, 2014, 04:16:17 am
Quote from: sculleywr on July 28, 2014, 11:41:16 pm
with their legendary swordsman taking a copper bolt straight through his eyeball, consequently snapping his spine and removing his head to its new position pinned to the wall of my fort. Coming from a novice marksman, I can hardly believe it. I'm forging nine more copper crossbows for my soldiers to carry into battle.

Was the crossbow by any chances a modified cannon?

I been playing vanilla (well, lazy been pack vanilla). No it wasn't. It was a lucky shot and I was not expecting it. However, they brought archers the second time and turned my team into pincushions
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Andronicus on July 29, 2014, 07:33:06 pm
Playing a small pocket world. It's pretty much a world of goblins and undead; there's 55 dwarves hiding out in a camp. So I raise a fortress. The last best hope for Dorf-kind. Fill a long tunnel leading into the Fortress proper with cage and weapon traps. Goblin siege arrives. Half of their squad gets caged and the other half gets slightly cut up and then they charge into the fortress and the slaughter begins.

I forget to put up a door.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torrenal on July 29, 2014, 08:58:41 pm
Had a siege in early summer of year 1.  6 undead.  6 UNARMED Undead.  A bit much for my 7 unarmed, unarmored dwarves (well, they have axes and picks, but those sever bits....).

They don't charge my traps.

I spend a full year preparing gear.
The siege ends but the undead remain.
I spend another month training.
I then tell my army to gear up and after a few moment go to save....

A vile force of darkness has arrived!

Um ok, my 7 man force will need to delay the attack on the undead, to deal with....

Elves?  10 elves.  Armed.  This could be interesting.

The elves spy the outnumbered walking undead and opt for some easy practice.

And as expected, the elvish siege was broken by the smaller undead force, who did so with only 2 serious wounds.

Something tells me that these elves were not wanted by their elvish leaders.  I have to agree.

So... "Ok troops, it's time to take out those undead.  Lets show the elves we know the sharp end of a hammer!"

The dead walk.  Hide while you still can!

Eh.  Lets see if these guys rush the traps.  Mean time, what did I do with that yak and horse corpse?

//Torrenal
I'd say the sieges in 40.05 might be a tad more of a problem than in 40.01
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: enriquefynn on July 30, 2014, 06:39:03 pm
That's a creepy one:
The dwarf Sakzul Olinossek was obsessed with drums, she was a soldier, an accomplished axedwarf. She also dreamed about doing a masterwork someday...

They all knew there was a forgotten beast below the fortress, no one really cared about that. Meanwhile Sakzul was advancing in his career, as being a very ambitious dwarf, she managed to get elected major, and promptly banned the exports of his favorite instrument, the drums.

She never gave up about the banning, for one year, the ban was holding, no drums were being exported y the fortress. Why? Why the drums? She never even expressed her secret desire for that instrument, she just liked it, deep inside.

One day the Beast broke into the fortress, she destroyed 5 dwarfs and one baby child before the military could even react, it was a intense battle.

The baby was  Sakzul's. She became depressed as her recent born toddler was ripped apart from her, she begun to seek the child, her colleagues buried the baby before she could see what the beast did.

Soon Sakzul gave up seeking but retired, she was to depressed to be a major... One day Sakzul tough something terrible, she just laugh, loud.

Sakzul rushed to the butchery shop, she has never done that before, she was nervous, but was working as quick as she could. Then she finished... She has made it! Storlutmomuz Beriminrus , "Dimplecrypt, the Artificial Posn".
(http://s27.postimg.org/kvt6vte37/drums.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on July 31, 2014, 03:50:08 pm
at least her dream was realized.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Repseki on August 01, 2014, 06:09:19 am
While doing some fancy construction in the caverns to punch a staircase through the underground lake there was a cave in that splattered my newly appointed Baroness and knocked my masterpiece armor wearing artifact weapon/shield holding Champion into the water to drown...

The next few months were then spent retrieving their bodies and belongings, before finishing up the staircase.

Of course almost immediately after getting things finished there is another cave in that breaks the arms and legs of my two legendary Miner/Engravers, because of course.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on August 01, 2014, 01:34:26 pm
(https://i.imgur.com/BGcyyqk.png)










A sparring dwarf charged THROUGH THE WALL. Both dwarves fell into the river canyon.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TinFoilTopHat on August 01, 2014, 02:41:02 pm
I'm new to dorf fortress and I constantly check the wiki, but sometimes i'll get lost in never-ending trails of clicking on wiki links.
The latest time I did this, i forgot to pause and my fortress which had no defenses was attacked by a cave crocodile.
There were no survivors. :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torrenal on August 01, 2014, 07:29:08 pm
Quote from: Untelligent on August 01, 2014, 01:34:26 pm
(https://i.imgur.com/BGcyyqk.png)
A sparring dwarf charged THROUGH THE WALL. Both dwarves fell into the river canyon.

"Quantum Leap"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: damnit,urist,youhadonejob on August 01, 2014, 08:01:08 pm
Ever had all of your miners get scared and jump into the river with all of your picks with them? yeah they all drowned, i had three guys left to survive the horrors of the forest,
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on August 01, 2014, 09:00:13 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/C9wrfUy.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: senilking on August 01, 2014, 10:38:49 pm
Wrong place, lol.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zarathustra30 on August 02, 2014, 02:42:58 am
Apparently, rice is not edible/cookable.

Fun ensued.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on August 02, 2014, 08:33:23 am
Quote from: Untelligent on August 01, 2014, 09:00:13 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/C9wrfUy.png)
Ouch.
At least the melt back down.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ArmokGoB on August 02, 2014, 09:43:10 am
Quote from: Torrenal on August 01, 2014, 07:29:08 pm
Quote from: Untelligent on August 01, 2014, 01:34:26 pm
(https://i.imgur.com/BGcyyqk.png)
A sparring dwarf charged THROUGH THE WALL. Both dwarves fell into the river canyon.

"Quantum Leap"

Dwarven Improbability Drive
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torrenal on August 02, 2014, 04:39:06 pm
I have successfully caved in the river surface through the river floor, into my cistern.

I am reminded again that DF physics is... strange.
//Torrenal
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Professor Lemur on August 02, 2014, 06:02:30 pm
There was an incident where my resident stonecrafter was found dead, drained of blood. Naturally, there were no witnesses, so I took it upon myself to scour my dwarves to look for suspicious attributes. I then noticed that the Mayor had not only been thirsty due to a scarcity of a drink, but he also worshipped a deity who cursed a Dwarf to vampirism. This rang alarm bells, so I saw no other choice than to convict Mayor.
It all went great. He got hammered and promptly thrown into jail.

But then another dwarf was discovered dead. I had a look at the mayor and well. In retrospect, I probably should have convicted the gem cutter. Now I have a mayor rapidly phasing in and out of rest, with multiple wounds. Whoops.
UPDATE: Nope. I definitely got a vampire. His name changed after his body was discovered in jail. Now to find the other scallywag...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torrenal on August 02, 2014, 09:18:27 pm
Even with witnesses, you might be here...

Picture a vampire visiting a wedded couple in their bedroom.  The wife is dead and you have a witness fingering the husband for it...
//Torrenal
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torrenal on August 02, 2014, 10:07:58 pm
...
(http://i.imgur.com/KjGlIYs.png)
...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Professor Lemur on August 03, 2014, 04:27:17 am
It's a very valid point. I noticed that the not-quite-vampire was more or less unmarried.
At this rate, I'll throw whoever discovered the body into weapon's reach of my hammerer. Presuming they don't start panicking.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on August 03, 2014, 04:04:32 pm
I don't know how but a baby managed to die in an underground lake. There was no combat report and the only clue I got were the logs next to it.

My guess is that a logging incident knocked the baby and the mother into the lake, but the mother climbed out, leaving the baby behind. what a shitty parent.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zarathustra30 on August 04, 2014, 01:12:59 am
A wave of immigrants arrived with a necromancer, who immediately raised two skeletons and then was, subsequently, elected mayor. Now she is fishing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mardukker on August 04, 2014, 02:00:07 pm
Floodgates are breakable by FBs, apparently, and I found that out in the worst way possible. An FB got into my unfinished cistern, which was located 2 z-levels below the cave water level and didn't have anything else to stop the water from flowing down through the stairs and flooding my magma forge/smelter area full of my very first adamantine armor/weapons.

And I thought I was doing so well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Midboss on August 04, 2014, 08:30:50 pm
My leader only requires a decent office, decent quarters and decent dining room. Because her Office is considered a royal throne room her bedroom and dining room now generate unhappy thoughts due to her having to deal with a poor dining room and bedroom. Either that or she decided to take a nap in the dormitory and eat in my room with only 3 tables and 3 chairs instead of the main dining hall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mardukker on August 05, 2014, 03:33:41 pm
Quote from: Midboss on August 04, 2014, 08:30:50 pm
My leader only requires a decent office, decent quarters and decent dining room. Because her Office is considered a royal throne room her bedroom and dining room now generate unhappy thoughts due to her having to deal with a poor dining room and bedroom. Either that or she decided to take a nap in the dormitory and eat in my room with only 3 tables and 3 chairs instead of the main dining hall.

You know, you could just put her bed and a chair in the royal office and assign each as a bedroom/dining room. Make it one of those all-in-one apartments.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dorfs R Fun on August 05, 2014, 06:03:40 pm
Found a cool little embark in 40.06 with the southern half being a nice size mountain and the northern half completely flat. Made a temporary fort in a section I planned on channeling out later. Started working on the main fort which was going to have a massive 90x30 grand hall with ceilings 7 z-levels tall. So I dug some stairs up to where I was going to start channeling my way down one layer at a time with nice engraved support pillars and smooth walls. It was going to be glorious.

Doh! I didn't know aquifers could be located half way up a mountain. My dorfs are all currently learning how to swim.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on August 05, 2014, 06:05:17 pm
My aquifer is more than 1 zlevel deep in the soil, and the 2 zlevels I dropped on it compressed to a single level.  So, yea.  Thats an annoying thing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Diomedes on August 05, 2014, 06:55:08 pm
I am a bit of a perfectionist and I don't like losing. Still, I play my Dwarf Fortress.

Now with 0.40.06 everything was going well. I wasn't locking up dwarves to starve, no giant cave spiders of forgotten beasts, no dwarves dying in cave-ins. I even managed to get an iron anvil first trade caravan.

I had one of my starter dwarves training, no immigrants yet. So I am ready to have a magma force pump out armor/weapons.

So then I discover my militia dwarf flashing next to his armor stand in his barracks. He is lying there, starving, unhappy, hungry. I quickly made some buckets so he could be given water and send to the hospital.
Turns out he had a sparring accident on his individual training drill. So my medical dwarf makes the diagnosis: lower leg gone.

Guy cut off his own leg doing a drill with a wooden axe. so wtf now...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on August 05, 2014, 08:45:30 pm
Perfect drill sergeant?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RagingDragon on August 06, 2014, 03:29:09 am
So I snared 9 Elf besiegers in my cage traps. Really excited to do something with them other than hiding them from the Elven caravan that showed up the next year. Bi-polar Elves?

Anyway, live targets for my marksdwarves seems like a great use, so I carefully follow the mass-pitting directions on the DF wiki. This takes about 30-45 minutes to get set up.

I'm a cautious dwarf, so I save before trying it, but the first one to pit escapes and my marksdwarves freak out and attack the poor dwarf that let it loose. RELOAD. Do some searching on the forums and find that many people are experiencing this with .40. Alright, no biggie, next step.

I drag the cages downstairs and stick them in the shooting gallery, and build about 9 levers that have my 2 mechanics running back and forth setting up. I link each cage, which uses 2 mechanisms each. 27 mechanisms later, I get my marksdwarves all set up and I'm finally ready to go. Throw the switches and let's do this!

Nope! None of the switches work, because I missed the part where you have to REBUILD the freaking cages to properly link a lever. Wow it would've been nice if it wouldn't have let me waste the 18 mechanisms before I figured that out.

Sigh. Dwarf Fortress, y u do dis?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Meneth on August 06, 2014, 04:39:52 am
If you deconstruct the lever, you'll get all those mechanisms back.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Diomedes on August 06, 2014, 05:33:48 am
Quote from: Edmus on August 05, 2014, 08:45:30 pm
Perfect drill sergeant?

I magically removed one toe from the feet of all dwarves and his leg magically reappeared.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Solon64 on August 06, 2014, 06:42:24 am
Wait wait wait, dwarves can cut their own legs off in INDIVIDUAL TRAINING?

This is new.  And seemingly unreported.  Possibly a bug, or a gloriously hilarious feature.  Cue army of crippled weapon lord limping out with one leg and one arm to defend the fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Diomedes on August 06, 2014, 08:42:31 am
Yeah, its strange. I see no other explanation. The dwarf was just next to his armor stand, unable to walk.
There was no fighting reported and nothing collapsed or anything like that.

Can't figure out what else could have happened. But the lower leg was done and said dwarf was not happy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on August 06, 2014, 06:27:35 pm
Quote from: Diomedes on August 06, 2014, 08:42:31 am
Yeah, its strange. I see no other explanation. The dwarf was just next to his armor stand, unable to walk.
There was no fighting reported and nothing collapsed or anything like that.

Can't figure out what else could have happened. But the lower leg was done and said dwarf was not happy.
Sounds like a ghost.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on August 06, 2014, 10:58:21 pm
if it's a ghost, then it should be in the dead/missing screen.

You should invest in crippled dwarves. A silver (or better yet, platinum) crutch is no joke in the hands of a misc. user master.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Repseki on August 07, 2014, 05:23:30 am
My first ambush was six or so Dwarf "recruits" and a Marksdwarf, all with Goblin names. Being completely unarmed, and wearing mostly cloth, the recruits didn't do so great against my three up and coming military dwarves. The Marksdwarf didn't even bother trying to attack, and left a few months later.

The face palm came later, after I had delayed making slabs for our fallen enemy a bit to long. The first ghost that showed up decided to hang out between my temporary meeting zone and all of the food/drink that is stockpiled near the main staircase on the same level. The second thought it would be fun to loiter near the Crafts and Mason workshops, where all of the unused slabs were waiting...

Almost an entire season later I was finally able to get the slabs engraved, and somehow only lost one baby. Not that things are completely safe now that half my fort is unhappy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RagingDragon on August 07, 2014, 09:31:20 pm
Quote from: Meneth on August 06, 2014, 04:39:52 am
If you deconstruct the lever, you'll get all those mechanisms back.
Aw score, thanks!

Amputee fortress defenders also had me rolling.

Got a few curious ghosts floating about my sewers, too. Scared the hell out of the poor peasant I had assigned on floodgate lever duty, but he was in a burrow and the brave little bastard wouldn't leave. Just stood there and stared right back.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torrenal on August 09, 2014, 08:59:47 pm
Think I've figured out why I have so many casualties harvesting trees on slopes...


I pick one corner of a box, move it to another corner, and then drop the box several levels.   This results in trees being designated at a variety of points. 

For example:
  * Where the tree reaches the ground
  * Half way up the tree.

Dwarves will happily stand on a tree to chop it down, accessing non-ground chopping points by using the adjacent slope.

//Torrenal
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on August 11, 2014, 01:34:41 am
Quote from: Torrenal on August 09, 2014, 08:59:47 pm
Think I've figured out why I have so many casualties harvesting trees on slopes...


I pick one corner of a box, move it to another corner, and then drop the box several levels.   This results in trees being designated at a variety of points. 

This is new to me. Up until .40.04 trees were only designated for chopping at a single location (the last one selected).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Repseki on August 11, 2014, 05:57:07 am
In my current fort I dug out a central shaft (similar to world gen forts) with a few dodge traps at the top and a 20 z-lvl drop onto a lead floor in the center of my Main Hall. This being in 40.06 I haven't actually had invaders to send through, but after 6 children decided it would be fun to divebomb into it from the top I at least know it should be somewhat effective.

I have since added some retractable "safety" bridges every few levels...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: VDOgamez on August 11, 2014, 10:26:27 am
I kept getting messages saying members of my military were going missing, but I had no idea why, because all they were supposed to be doing was training. I just put it up to playing unsafely around the entrance bridge over a volcano, because that was what had caused the last five disappearances and the merchant caravan exploding. And I had plenty more dwarves to draft. Before too long, though, I was on the edge of a tantrum spiral and finally remembered how to check the combat reports. It turns out, every single one of those dead dwarves had been punched to death by the same military member during sparring. Apparently he doesn't know his own strength, and just started punching everyone around him to death while they all cried about their friends dying. Anyway, that fort died because I accidentally designated one of the aforementioned volcano entrance tiles and the whole map lava-flooded.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: khearn on August 11, 2014, 01:39:20 pm
Quote from: Repseki on August 11, 2014, 05:57:07 am
In my current fort I dug out a central shaft (similar to world gen forts) with a few dodge traps at the top and a 20 z-lvl drop onto a lead floor in the center of my Main Hall. This being in 40.06 I haven't actually had invaders to send through, but after 6 children decided it would be fun to divebomb into it from the top I at least know it should be somewhat effective.

I have since added some retractable "safety" bridges every few levels...

in 40.06, the children were the invaders. Sounds like you found a good way to deal with them. ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Repseki on August 11, 2014, 06:44:54 pm
Quote from: khearn on August 11, 2014, 01:39:20 pm
in 40.06, the children were the invaders. Sounds like you found a good way to deal with them. ;)

That may be true, but several of the ones that decided to go cliff diving were nearly adults, and had good armor/weapon preferences that I was really looking forward too  ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: christopher1006 on August 12, 2014, 09:45:46 pm
I tried to close the bridge and fling goblins back from whence they came except I built the bridge backwards, launching fully armed and armored goblins directly in to my "Totally trained and prepared for war" "army".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: celem on August 13, 2014, 05:59:57 am
Oooh good one, always check your bridges, if it's not backwards then it's set to retract.

I just spent the first eternally drawn out moments of an embark (an hour under pause) designating a complex cistern system for a hot map, only to see every pool dry before the miner's make it 10 tiles from the wagon.  Fine, fine, shoot for caverns.  3 Dry caverns.  Bugger it, scrap the whole world.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on August 13, 2014, 08:51:24 pm
I opened a cage containing a weremammoth before his enclosure bridge-door was shut. 46 deaths-by-pummeling ensured before He was caught at the gates.

It was terrifying.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: escondida on August 14, 2014, 08:34:04 am
Quote from: christopher1006 on August 12, 2014, 09:45:46 pm
I tried to close the bridge and fling goblins back from whence they came except I built the bridge backwards, launching fully armed and armored goblins directly in to my "Totally trained and prepared for war" "army".

Them bridges...it's a little counter-intuitive how the flinging works. Creatures get flung in any direction except the direction the bridge raises. Luckily for you, this means that in the future your outer bridge can double as a siege flinger and a siege smasher.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on August 14, 2014, 11:18:02 am
"Stupid marksdwarves, the crossbow is for shooting bolts, not using it as an ersatz warhammer!  >:( Y U no practice shooting?"
(Wait a second... did I assign them any...)

(m)ilitaty -->(f) ammunition
Fleshpiercer (my marksdwarf squad): [none]

The Nerd slaps the Nerd in the forehead with his right palm, bruising the muscle!

Fun fact: ammo-less marksdwarves like to jump off fortifications to chase down the enemy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on August 14, 2014, 03:40:47 pm
First Autum: "The Werepanda Uce Caniari has come! [yadda yadda] You will know why you fear the night."

Well, shit, my military isnt' nearly ready to take that on, and I forgot to build a drawbridge for lockdown.  Crap, well, might as well watch this guy kill everyone.

*Werepanda chases my gatherer*

Sorry, bud, you're the first.

*Gatherer runs up into the trees and crosses the river among the branches, gets down on the other side and continues to flee*

Not gonna help, man, werecreatures can cross water easy.

*Werepanda dives into the river*

See?

"Uce Caniari has turned into a human."

Wha-  *Checks bottom of the river*

"Uce Canari's Corpse"

*Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: greycat on August 14, 2014, 07:45:04 pm
I dug a cistern, to be filled by a river.  Perfectly standard design, diagonal pressure-relief passage on the cistern fill level-- OOH SHINY!  Gems in the passages.  OK, let's dig up the gems, and get them carted out, before we seal up the access tunnel.  Poke holes in the level above, for wells.  The river's currently frozen, so it won't fill up until the spring thaw.

Come spring, the flooding started.  When I dug out the gems, I got rid of the diagonal passage, and didn't even notice.  Water up through the well holes, south through the tunnel to the central stairwell....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: cvaneseltine on August 14, 2014, 08:01:33 pm
+quartzite statue of Commander Dumat Stokednumbers+
This is a finely-crafted quartzite statue of Commander Dumat Stokednumbers the dwarf and dwarves in quartzite by Miner Ushat Kanzuntir. Commander Dumat Stokednumbers is surrounded by the dwarves. The artwork relates to the appointment of the dwarf vampire Commander Dumat Stokednumbers to the position of militia commander of The Blue Lance in the early summer of 251.

...you KNEW?  You knew and you elected him ANYWAY?

facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on August 14, 2014, 08:27:08 pm
Quote from: cvaneseltine on August 14, 2014, 08:01:33 pm
+quartzite statue of Commander Dumat Stokednumbers+
This is a finely-crafted quartzite statue of Commander Dumat Stokednumbers the dwarf and dwarves in quartzite by Miner Ushat Kanzuntir. Commander Dumat Stokednumbers is surrounded by the dwarves. The artwork relates to the appointment of the dwarf vampire Commander Dumat Stokednumbers to the position of militia commander of The Blue Lance in the early summer of 251.

...you KNEW?  You knew and you elected him ANYWAY?

facepalm.

He may eat one of his constituents every three months, but you can't ague with his "Free Hot Cinnamon Rolls For All Dwarves" political platform.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: cvaneseltine on August 14, 2014, 11:32:21 pm
Quote from: Tacomagic on August 14, 2014, 08:27:08 pm
He may eat one of his constituents every three months, but you can't ague with his "Free Hot Cinnamon Rolls For All Dwarves" political platform.

Truth is, as long as he kept taking out kids in the privacy of their bedrooms, I had no problem with it.

Then he decided to snack on the unconscious fisherdwarf in the middle of the hallway, in front of eight witnesses. It was a bit egregious.

He's still the militia commander, but he's in jail. A walled-up jail.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on August 15, 2014, 02:18:10 am
Quote from: cvaneseltine on August 14, 2014, 08:01:33 pm
+quartzite statue of Commander Dumat Stokednumbers+
This is a finely-crafted quartzite statue of Commander Dumat Stokednumbers the dwarf and dwarves in quartzite by Miner Ushat Kanzuntir. Commander Dumat Stokednumbers is surrounded by the dwarves. The artwork relates to the appointment of the dwarf vampire Commander Dumat Stokednumbers to the position of militia commander of The Blue Lance in the early summer of 251.

...you KNEW?  You knew and you elected him ANYWAY?

facepalm.

Sorry mate, but YOU appointed him. The dwarves merely gather around these appointed nobles to see if there's free beer (or the above mentioned cinnamon rolls)...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RocheLimit on August 15, 2014, 08:38:42 am
Couple of forts ago...

Military embark.  1 pick, plenty of coal/iron/flux, no food, 2 silver ore, 1 stone, and 1 coke.
No skills for the dwarfs.

Get setup, draft the two dwarfs into an active squad, ready to begin making the two full sets of steel armor my early military would need, when it hits me...
Anvil...

Resign myself to waiting for the first caravan.  Set my dwarfs to task.
Make axe out of wood.  Chop trees.
Set plant stockpile.  Gather plants.
Set wood stockpile.  Make pots/spiked balls for trade.

Forget that not only am I in an Untamed Wilderness biome, but my untrained, unarmed, unarmored military dwarfs are still active.
Find the first corpse dead, in the south.  Second to the northeast.  Down two dwarfs who took it upon themselves to chase down and beat up a Giant Tick. 

I press on...

Had designated the entire fortress by hand, leaving my miner to get to work on it.  Dining halls, workroom, tower-based bedrooms, grand entrance hall, two farm levels (one above-ground, one below).  Didn't realize anything is wrong until the "Urist McDirtDigger has been missing for one week" message.

I had used ramps throughout the design, and made him dig out the adjacent walls as well...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on August 15, 2014, 10:20:22 am
Just had a gob invasion in the first spring of the second year.  Defenses weren't even close to ready and my crew of military personell had just stated training.  The goblins charge the fort... see the dead werebeast corpse in the bottom of the river, the siege breaks, and they flee.

Worst goblin invasion.  Ever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TurboSlug22 on August 15, 2014, 05:33:13 pm
Quote from: Tacomagic on August 15, 2014, 10:20:22 am
Just had a gob invasion in the first spring of the second year.  Defenses weren't even close to ready and my crew of military personell had just stated training.  The goblins charge the fort... see the dead werebeast corpse in the bottom of the river, the siege breaks, and they flee.

Worst goblin invasion.  Ever.

Traditionally dead bodies impaled and put on display for ones rivals was a method to deterr attackers.. Looks like this method is alive and well in dwarf fortress now : )
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: int_ua on August 15, 2014, 06:13:22 pm
Have anyone seen goblin recruits fight with each other [after killing a kobold that was running away]?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on August 15, 2014, 06:31:08 pm
Quote from: TurboSlug22 on August 15, 2014, 05:33:13 pm
Quote from: Tacomagic on August 15, 2014, 10:20:22 am
Just had a gob invasion in the first spring of the second year.  Defenses weren't even close to ready and my crew of military personell had just stated training.  The goblins charge the fort... see the dead werebeast corpse in the bottom of the river, the siege breaks, and they flee.

Worst goblin invasion.  Ever.

Traditionally dead bodies impaled and put on display for ones rivals was a method to deterr attackers.. Looks like this method is alive and well in dwarf fortress now : )

Actually, with the way discipline works right now, it would be viable to sprinkle corpses around in tactical locations to keep invaders away.

Now... to figure out if I can weaponize it somehow.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on August 15, 2014, 07:46:19 pm
Quote from: Tacomagic on August 15, 2014, 06:31:08 pm
Quote from: TurboSlug22 on August 15, 2014, 05:33:13 pm
Quote from: Tacomagic on August 15, 2014, 10:20:22 am
Just had a gob invasion in the first spring of the second year.  Defenses weren't even close to ready and my crew of military personell had just stated training.  The goblins charge the fort... see the dead werebeast corpse in the bottom of the river, the siege breaks, and they flee.

Worst goblin invasion.  Ever.

Traditionally dead bodies impaled and put on display for ones rivals was a method to deterr attackers.. Looks like this method is alive and well in dwarf fortress now : )

Actually, with the way discipline works right now, it would be viable to sprinkle corpses around in tactical locations to keep invaders away.

Now... to figure out if I can weaponize it somehow.

Just put the corpse behind a door or gate and a fortification. Then you can reveal it to the enemy at will. Bonus points if you get them frozen in terror between a few sets and kill them with siege weapons.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torrenal on August 16, 2014, 02:54:14 pm
I'm working on fine-tuning a chute into magma for corpse disposal, I'd started with a stair shaft down 8 levels, then fortifications dug into Lava.  Problem is, contrary to what I'd read, stuff thrown onto the stairs tended to land on the stairs instead of falling down into the lava.

So I dig a stair-shaft down next to the pit and order the stairs over the lava channeled out.

Checking on progress a bit later, I find a steel pick in the lava.

No bet on where the miner stood when he dug that channel.

//Torrenal
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on August 16, 2014, 03:26:08 pm
Started building a large pump setup to help dam a river, just before I put the last pump in, winter sets in and the river freezes... all those machines built and all I needed to do was wait for the freeze
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torrenal on August 17, 2014, 02:30:51 am
THe elves came, and offered their quota of 100 trees.

One Hundread.

I'm inclined to try finding 100 trees to cut down before their next visit - might not be possible  :P
Nor would I know what to do with all the wood.

//Torrenal

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TurboSlug22 on August 17, 2014, 05:56:12 am
Spend literally an hour and a half planning out super extreme awesome fort layout including elaborate defense systems... Dig out 3 tiles of it and AQUIFER!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MaximumZero on August 17, 2014, 07:06:56 am
That right there is why I nuke aquifers as soon as I download the game.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on August 17, 2014, 09:18:29 am
Quote from: MaximumZero on August 17, 2014, 07:06:56 am
That right there is why I nuke aquifers as soon as I download the game.

If you take their existence into account before building a fort, they can be very useful. Otherwise, they are annoying.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torrenal on August 17, 2014, 02:10:43 pm
My problem has been the bedrooms...

About half the time, after I designate my first set of 20 bedrooms for digging, it's interrupted half way in with a cavern discovery.   I've since taken to sneaking in a few extra levels before the first cavern layer.

//Torrenal
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TimDogg on August 17, 2014, 04:57:40 pm
I just forgot I was filling a pond to my dining hall so the dwarves would autowash.

Didn't check on it for a season, I had no reason to, all was perfect at that level. Until I noticed my auto brew drink jobs didn't fire. My digging assignments had stopped, my craft production had stopped...

When I found the culprit it was too late, no drinks, no plant production due to abandoned farms. Tantrum spiral in year two. Felt so dumb...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on August 17, 2014, 05:35:57 pm
Created a new fort and started getting everything going.  Once things were set up, I got to defenses.  Got a choke-point drawbridge in place in case I was invaded before the defenses were finished.  Good thing too, because I was sieged in the first spring and only had the beginnings of a military going at that point.

Recalled everything to my panic room, pulled the lever on the drawbridge and prepared to wait it out.

Everything is sealed up and ready to go, so I remove the burrow restriction and get ready for business as usual.  That's when I notice my carpenters show up on the surface and start building more wood blocks for the fort... just in time to be slaughtered by goblins.  Who proceed into my fortress and start killing.

Apparently when I'd made the block stockpile for my above-ground fortifications, I forgot to take into account that they were on the outside of the drawbridge and that I probably shouldn't make a direct shortcut to the mason workshops behind the drawbridge.

Another group of dorfs lost to poor planning.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torrenal on August 17, 2014, 09:43:43 pm
Buy 2 of every animal from the dwarvan caravan.  Twice.

Then wonder a couple game years later why my FPS has halved... twice.

Pets/Livestock count now at 188.  I may need a larger meat stockpile shortly...



//Torrenal


Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: damnit,urist,youhadonejob on August 18, 2014, 08:48:05 am
i embarked into a world that had the goblins winning, i get a king(queen) the first year, i dig, i hit copper and zink. well crap i will have to dig farther down maybe i will get something better. i set up my base and it is going pretty good, make it to the second ( i think it is the third) cavern layers, i find candy, magma, and a new metal, i mine some up, i look at it, it is more copper. i now have more copper than i know what to do with and not a single bit of iron. also there are no caravans coming. at all
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on August 18, 2014, 11:54:19 am
Quote from: damnit,urist,youhadonejob on August 18, 2014, 08:48:05 am
i embarked into a world that had the goblins winning, i get a king(queen) the first year, i dig, i hit copper and zink. well crap i will have to dig farther down maybe i will get something better. i set up my base and it is going pretty good, make it to the second ( i think it is the third) cavern layers, i find candy, magma, and a new metal, i mine some up, i look at it, it is more copper. i now have more copper than i know what to do with and not a single bit of iron. also there are no caravans coming. at all

I guess your last hope is a nice, big vein of goblinite showing up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on August 18, 2014, 05:50:37 pm
Thought I would try a haunted biome, and my horse started getting hungry, so I just stuck her outside the fort with the water buffalo. The horse died, raised, and killed one of my original 7 dwarves, one dwarf tantrumed and killed another dwarf. The dwarf rose and systematically slaughtered my livestock and other dwarves. All before the first immigration wave, and before the first liaison.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on August 18, 2014, 06:18:00 pm
Quote from: Aslandus on August 18, 2014, 05:50:37 pm
Thought I would try a haunted biome, and my horse started getting hungry, so I just stuck her outside the fort with the water buffalo. The horse died, raised, and killed one of my original 7 dwarves, one dwarf tantrumed and killed another dwarf. The dwarf rose and systematically slaughtered my livestock and other dwarves. All before the first immigration wave, and before the first liaison.
Reembark with 5 military dwarves and two miners.  Dig a pit, toss the body parts in as they die.  Then get inside asap.  Or just get inside asap. 
but I assume you want to keep topside as clear as possible as long as possible?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ddenney1211 on August 18, 2014, 07:03:33 pm
Just happened to me while I am playing, I gathered up 10 new recruits in a unit all with silver warhammers or maces and various metal armor moved them into a room with 6 goblins and 1 troll all in cages. Activate lever and all are released and watch as my attempt at a training session turns into a dwarven slaughter.

...I forgot to disarm the goblins...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on August 18, 2014, 07:21:34 pm
Quote from: damnit,urist,youhadonejob on August 18, 2014, 08:48:05 am
i embarked into a world that had the goblins winning, i get a king(queen) the first year, i dig, i hit copper and zink. well crap i will have to dig farther down maybe i will get something better. i set up my base and it is going pretty good, make it to the second ( i think it is the third) cavern layers, i find candy, magma, and a new metal, i mine some up, i look at it, it is more copper. i now have more copper than i know what to do with and not a single bit of iron. also there are no caravans coming. at all

Copper shields work just fine.  Copper hammers and maces as well.  Also, Copper bolts.  Wooden balista bolts.  Magma cannons and drowning chambers.  Be creative.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on August 18, 2014, 07:43:51 pm
Quote from: ddenney1211 on August 18, 2014, 07:03:33 pm
Just happened to me while I am playing, I gathered up 10 new recruits in a unit all with silver warhammers or maces and various metal armor moved them into a room with 6 goblins and 1 troll all in cages. Activate lever and all are released and watch as my attempt at a training session turns into a dwarven slaughter.

...I forgot to disarm the goblins...

I feel so nearly bad that I laughed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on August 18, 2014, 09:16:38 pm
Quote from: Tacomagic on August 18, 2014, 07:43:51 pm
Quote from: ddenney1211 on August 18, 2014, 07:03:33 pm
Just happened to me while I am playing, I gathered up 10 new recruits in a unit all with silver warhammers or maces and various metal armor moved them into a room with 6 goblins and 1 troll all in cages. Activate lever and all are released and watch as my attempt at a training session turns into a dwarven slaughter.

...I forgot to disarm the goblins...

I feel so nearly bad that I laughed.
Dwarf Fortress is basically Schadenfreude: the game. You play until you lose, then tell your story so everyone can enjoy your failure, and so you can savor everyone else's failure as well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on August 18, 2014, 09:28:15 pm
Got sieged by goblins and kobolds at the same time.

The two are at war.

They attacked each other, then ran in fear from the bodies.  Siege broke shortly thereafter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on August 19, 2014, 04:29:22 pm
I set up a support to make cave-in traps on every floor of my underground mines, and, for some reason, set them all to the same lever. Then, I accidentally set that lever up to my drawbridge. So when an invasion came, I had a dwarf "close the gat!"... aaaand killed dozens of dwarves, including my legendary armor smith retrieving some iron from the stockpile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slogo on August 19, 2014, 08:45:19 pm
I start a new fort in an area where the only metal is Gold and Aluminum. Which I'm fine with as there's magma so I have my defenses covered. What I don't have are any early weapons. It's partially an evil biome so even without a strong plan to get a weapon I start a wrestler training so I can have someone with some discipline in case it's needed. A few migrant waves go by and I add a 2nd recruit to the military.

I breach the cavern and setup farms there. Some Trogdolytes come wandering by before the walls finish, but they're passive so it's all fine. Then somehow a fight breaks out. I check in and there are 2 Trogdolytes and 2 of my civilians. I station the military down there as well, as that's what they're for.

Very quickly the Trogdoyltes become very weakened with bruises and openings and all sorts of things of that nature. So they pass out.  Except so do the pulverizing dwarves. I try to force my woodcutter (training axe, but it's something) and miners to get involved, but when I recruit the woodcutter he drops the axe and not wanting to do the same thing with the miner my attempts to get him involved don't go anywhere.

Eventually one trog dies, the other wakes up though and kills 2 unconcious dwarves before I finally bring him down. Of course he manages this while just about his whole body is broken and bruised. Anyways that was quite the ordeal.

I finish the wall, but due to some food issues I'm short on food and leave a door to continue some gathering operations. A troll decides he wants to stroll in. Except he's not hostile either. He wanders the fort a bit scaring himself when he encounters some of my dwarves and I just sort of leave him there since I can't kill him anyways.

Eventually my miner decided he was tired of the troll so as he walked by the troll he stuck his pickaxe in his head a few times, killing the troll without it getting a hit in, and then proceeded on his way.

So to recap... Bloody, beaten, bruised, nauseous, tired trogdolyte: 2 kills. Big bad fully healthy Troll: 0.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on August 19, 2014, 08:49:55 pm
Quote from: Slogo on August 19, 2014, 08:45:19 pm
I start a new fort in an area where the only metal is Gold and Aluminum. Which I'm fine with as there's magma so I have my defenses covered. What I don't have are any early weapons. It's partially an evil biome so even without a strong plan to get a weapon I start a wrestler training so I can have someone with some discipline in case it's needed. A few migrant waves go by and I add a 2nd recruit to the military.

I breach the cavern and setup farms there. Some Trogdolytes come wandering by before the walls finish, but they're passive so it's all fine. Then somehow a fight breaks out. I check in and there are 2 Trogdolytes and 2 of my civilians. I station the military down there as well, as that's what they're for.

Very quickly the Trogdoyltes become very weakened with bruises and openings and all sorts of things of that nature. So they pass out.  Except so do the pulverizing dwarves. I try to force my woodcutter (training axe, but it's something) and miners to get involved, but when I recruit the woodcutter he drops the axe and not wanting to do the same thing with the miner my attempts to get him involved don't go anywhere.

Eventually one trog dies, the other wakes up though and kills 2 unconcious dwarves before I finally bring him down. Of course he manages this while just about his whole body is broken and bruised. Anyways that was quite the ordeal.

I finish the wall, but due to some food issues I'm short on food and leave a door to continue some gathering operations. A troll decides he wants to stroll in. Except he's not hostile either. He wanders the fort a bit scaring himself when he encounters some of my dwarves and I just sort of leave him there since I can't kill him anyways.

Eventually my miner decided he was tired of the troll so as he walked by the troll he stuck his pickaxe in his head a few times, killing the troll without it getting a hit in, and then proceeded on his way.

So to recap... Bloody, beaten, bruised, nauseous, tired trogdolyte: 2 kills. Big bad fully healthy Troll: 0.

To be completely fair to the troll, and speaking with only a marginal understanding of the presumably complex meta-evolution of them:

I imagine trolls to be a bit more like schizophrenic dogs than overtly aggressive beasts.  Actually, a bit like goblins.  By nature awkward and shy yet curious, but tempered with an aggression when it gets cornered or molded with a program.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on August 19, 2014, 11:33:58 pm
I was playing adventure mode. Ran into a night creature, and started fighting.

Then second night creature joined the fray and started attacking the first.

I started celebrating a little, thinking him to be a friend.

But after the first one died, the second slaughtered me. :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: palu on August 20, 2014, 01:41:58 pm
Quote from: Japa on August 19, 2014, 11:33:58 pm
I was playing adventure mode. Ran into a night creature, and started fighting.

Then second night creature joined the fray and started attacking the first.

I started celebrating a little, thinking him to be a friend.

But after the first one died, the second slaughtered me. :(
Quote from: Maxim 29
The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.

Spoiler: Troll story (click to show/hide)
You got off lucky. A troll once killed almost my entire fort with a coat. There was only one survivor, my doctor, who was saved because he was gathering webs in the caverns. The troll then left via the surface, presumably to wreak coat-havoc on the world.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slogo on August 20, 2014, 01:54:30 pm
I actually had 2 more friendly trolls show up. One destroyed a door in my cavern wall (I need the door for access to water until I can improve things), but decided to stay where he was in front of the door. Fortunately for me I was planning on putting a bridge there anyways, so I did that with the Troll still there. Now's he's stuck in a pit under my bridge until I decide to raise the bridge for something. He's a cute little fort mascot now. If a FB shows up in that same cavern layer I can make him fight the troll :D.

Meanwhile more trogs showed up on the surface for some reason (or ran through my fort when I wasn't looking), but some bugged out undead Stork's decided they were tired of standing idle and devoured them all.

The 3rd troll wandered inside and hung around until he too got a dwarven greeting by a passing by miner and his pick.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nikita on August 20, 2014, 09:09:18 pm
Two of my legendary miners just managed to encase themselves in ice while digging a channel.

Derp.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WanderingKid on August 20, 2014, 10:34:25 pm
So, for the curious, if you forbid the crap around your trade depot, and manage to forbid the depot itself, it is considered missing by the traders.

D'oh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slogo on August 21, 2014, 10:54:37 am
Quote from: Nikita on August 20, 2014, 09:09:18 pm
Two of my legendary miners just managed to encase themselves in ice while digging a channel.

Derp.

One way to help that is to dig a down stairs then an upstairs (or up+down stairs) on the tile below. Let the tile fill with water, which won't freeze because the downstair tile keeps the tile below "inside". Your dwarf might temporarily drown, but he should be smart enough to get himself upstairs. You may need to dig the downstairs twice if there's ice on the tile above, the first downstairs only removes the ice.

Once you've done that channel out the downstairs. Instead of there being a delay in the water flowing into the tile it should just immediately freeze. Even more so it leaves no 'down stair' behind so your dwarves can't move down into the stairs. I've still had dwarves freeze with this method, I think usually if you do a row of them all at once they do some weird things, but it's much more rare and has to do with one dwarf digging the ground out from another dwarf or something.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on August 21, 2014, 05:39:47 pm
Quote from: pisskop on August 21, 2014, 05:39:12 pm
Wanna hear a joke?

So dwarf walks into a crypt to stockpile its mummy . . .
This
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Tilaturist on August 21, 2014, 06:06:46 pm
It seems appropriate that my first ever Bay12 forum post should be a face palm moment, knowing the reputation of this game.

My last fort, Cryptyouth, was attacked by a marsh titan which mauled many livestock animals grazing outside before heading for the fortress entrance. Some military dwarves were gathered inside, and the hallway was lined with cage traps. I didn't expect to cage the titan - the cages were to catch keas and the goblins which never came - but I didn't expect what happened, either.

The marsh titan was a webslinger, and coated many of my dwarves in web, stunning them. As it charged through the fortress entrance, it triggered the cage traps, which had no effect. 4 dead dwarves later, a swordmaster struck it in the lower body and the severed part sailed off in an arc, slaying it. (That steel short sword must not have been so short after all). As the mess cleared and some tantrumming marksdwarves were dragged off to jail, I noticed a large number of "dwarf (♂) cages" in my animal stockpile, and more lying in the entrance hall. Sure enough, much of my military and an unfortunate baby had been caged by the falling traps. I was unable to pasture the dwarves, so I tried building the cages and unassigning them, but not all would construct properly, or so it seemed at least. I should have tried to sell some to traders for !!science!!, but eventually I got them all out after several months of confinement and occasional water brought by dwarves with nothing better to do, like storing an item in a stockpile, attending a party or going On Break from a party. The dwarves seemed to see no difference between their own caged friends and the gorlaks we had trapped in the caverns below.

This is a tie with the time an unfortunate web collector was mauled by a molemarian in a cavern and was left to suffer infection and injury while 1 doctor partied, another went On Break and a third insisted on storing items in stockpiles until I conscripted a farmer to do the job. The web collector, unsurprisingly, died.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Repseki on August 21, 2014, 06:45:27 pm
Note to self, don't use the military to kill the former Fortress Guard (Lawdwarf) that had been isolated in a mining tunnel after being bitten and infected by a Werelizard before going berserk.

Or at the very least double check that he isn't "Friends" with nearly the entire population before doing so...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nikita on August 22, 2014, 12:49:49 am
Accidentally mined upwards into a cavern filled with water.

Now I won't see double-digit FPS until it finishes flooding the lower parts of my fortress ;_;
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on August 22, 2014, 10:04:29 pm
I just got this message: "Lorsham has created a masterpiece *gabbro figurine of Eshtin Cobaltsculpture*

Really? out of ALL the names, his family has that one? You know, in this age, people had their last names based off of the job the family was known for. Such as "Baker" or "Cooper." What, did one of his ancestors make a REALLY awesome sculpture out of cobalt?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on August 23, 2014, 12:44:23 pm
Quote from: SimRobert2001 on August 22, 2014, 10:04:29 pm
I just got this message: "Lorsham has created a masterpiece *gabbro figurine of Eshtin Cobaltsculpture*

Really? out of ALL the names, his family has that one? You know, in this age, people had their last names based off of the job the family was known for. Such as "Baker" or "Cooper." What, did one of his ancestors make a REALLY awesome sculpture out of cobalt?

Last names are not family names.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: damnit,urist,youhadonejob on August 24, 2014, 02:42:44 am
Quote from: Repseki on August 21, 2014, 06:45:27 pm
Note to self, don't use the military to kill the former Fortress Guard (Lawdwarf) that had been isolated in a mining tunnel after being bitten and infected by a Werelizard before going berserk.

Or at the very least double check that he isn't "Friends" with nearly the entire population before doing so...
thank you for reminding me my master military general will probably go were rabbit (don't really remember what he will turn into)on me. he got bitten before the creatures head was killed
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WanderingKid on August 24, 2014, 05:29:35 am
Dear Merchants:

While I appreciate you bringing a large volume of goods to trade, if you NEVER finish your unloading before you decide to leave, why the hell did you show up?!  I've had someone standing on that platform constantly checking to see if you're done yet since you got here.  Now you've decided to pack up.

ARGH.  Dammit, take my lousy clothing with you at least?  It's right there!

*mutter*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Professor Lemur on August 25, 2014, 02:19:05 pm
Tried to demolish the trade depot so I can have all the wonderful dwarven goods.
Unfortunately I dun goof'd, so to speak. Now my dwarves won't touch most of the goods and the merchants have decided to stay put, long after they were supposed to leave.
Half tempted to wall them in and drown them. Hmm...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xerberus on August 26, 2014, 07:41:02 am
well my stories don't sound as extreme as urist's fort, but in my last fort i got reminded pretty adly  that now some enemies can climb. it was still pretty early in my fort, didn't had every room fully build yet and no hospital or barracks yet, as a goblin siege came. i had ne inner bridge (within the entrance tunnel) but a complete outer wall with bridge, i raised the bridge quickly and thought that i was safe...wrong....a bowman climbed down from the cliffside and murdered everyone.....it was hilarious because he still had the pre 40.10 projectile speed bug, it looked like the shots came from a machinegun.

i also love my current fort, good geographics, good amount of iron ore (no flux yet), a mostly quiet cavern directly below (only 10 floors below) and i got the usual three lvl 3 x weapon profession dwarf and a maceman (also migrant) with lvl 10 mace, lvl 10 doger and lvl 10 discipline (also 1-2 armor but hey, high dodging and deadly with mace). currently a forgotten beast appeared which seemed to spill some liquid. it was at first pretty hilarious because in the cave was a troll i didn't dare to fight yet the forgotten beast landed directly next to him. both were in 7 deep water and duo to the liquid it seams the water where the forgotten beast stood were freezing constantly. i though "hey, maybe it will stuck there being freezed till i am sure i can kill it.". it eventually killed the troll and made his way towards my fort. it was still in the stairways leading up to my main fortress when i send my high-lvl macedwarf to give the beast a welcoming party. i also send the three other "normal" militia-dwarves but either they weren't there in time or had run in fear, idk, they weren't there. the macedwarf got 1-2 good hits on the forgottenbeast, damaging two of the beasts bodyparts (i think one arm and one leg), but then the beast started bashing (fists) and kicking, it threw the dwarf 2-3 times away and smashed one of his arms (i didn't know which one exactly, i think it was even the weapon-hand) .... i didn't read in the combat log that he died (found dead or gave in to pain or any other fatal wound), but he suddenly vanished from my squad screen so i assume that he is a goner. the forgotten beast is now on its way to my fort, he already killed the high-level macedwarf mere seconds and now the only thing that stands between him and my fort are three weaponlevel 3, otherwise untrained militia-dwarves and i have no hope of surviving this. .... and i loved this fort, it went so well like never before T.T. .... until now.

edit: my facepalm moment is that recently i can't seem to get a working / fully-featured fort started, make no mistake i am still quite new to the game, but with DF2012 i constantly got to a lategame fort. maybe because i also got no real sieges in my previous forts (DF2012), duo to bug or otherwise, just some snatchers and small ambushes but never sieges. now i rarely get snatchers but sieges still in the first year x'D.....it is "FUN".

Edit2: now i remember something very hilarious, in my current fort i got a pretty long goblin siege recently, FUN part was that one of the goblin was a werecat. it transformed and killed 3 of his brothers and infected another goblin with the disease. so in the end the werecats / the goblin themselve took care of each other x'D. pre 40.10 was also funny with the buggy / untweaked morale system that when i embarked near goblins and towers that sometimes i got both siegers and one runs in fear of the other. or sieges end prematurely because the enemy sees too much corpses (animals or older attackers). was quite hilarious :).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Andys on August 27, 2014, 01:51:12 am
Some time ago, still playing 34.11, I started a new fort.
As usual, I dug few rooms, some areas in soil level for tree farms, and then started digging down in search of caverns. And my miner dug right into a troglodyte camp (7-9 of them in 5 tile radius from the stairway)...
Though, this was the only facepalm moment, in the end fort lived through it.
Miner died instantly, then other three dwarves went in to collect webs and loot. One of them was also killed, other two ran around the caverns for some time, distracting troglodytes and pulling them away from stairs, while I walled off the cavern.
One of those two lived through whole thing, using guerilla tactics, pulling and wrestling troglodytes one by one. In the end, she got a broken nose, few scars, military commander title and a score of 7 kills (spent around half season in dark caves all alone until second migration wave came and I could create a makeshift crossbow squad)...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Astrid on August 27, 2014, 06:49:24 am
With 40.11 out i took the liberty to generate a small world.
Everythuing turned out beautiful, there were 2 Dwarfen Civs, 1 of them extinct.

I had choosen the existing one which had spread about half that world.
Started my embark, first year happened nothing special except of the usual starting jobs.
Then the Outpost liason arrived and reported taht the small goblin civ single handedly had conquered dozens of places, literally stopping existance of the civ i had choosen. Within the first year of the first fort...

So... yeah...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on August 27, 2014, 07:07:56 am
Quote from: Tacomagic on August 15, 2014, 10:20:22 am
Just had a gob invasion in the first spring of the second year.  Defenses weren't even close to ready and my crew of military personell had just stated training.  The goblins charge the fort... see the dead werebeast corpse in the bottom of the river, the siege breaks, and they flee.

Worst goblin invasion.  Ever.
Oo, I had a similar experience at an earlier fort. Only this was a Ghostly Marksdwarf who still seemed to consider the goblins as enemies.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on August 27, 2014, 07:28:33 am
Quote from: Sus on August 27, 2014, 07:07:56 am
Quote from: Tacomagic on August 15, 2014, 10:20:22 am
Just had a gob invasion in the first spring of the second year.  Defenses weren't even close to ready and my crew of military personell had just stated training.  The goblins charge the fort... see the dead werebeast corpse in the bottom of the river, the siege breaks, and they flee.

Worst goblin invasion.  Ever.
Oo, I had a similar experience at an earlier fort. Only this was a Ghostly Marksdwarf who still seemed to consider the goblins as enemies.

'Scooby Doo and the Ghostly Marksdwarf'.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snaake on August 27, 2014, 02:43:25 pm
Quote from: Astrid on August 27, 2014, 06:49:24 am
With 40.11 out i took the liberty to generate a small world.
Everythuing turned out beautiful, there were 2 Dwarfen Civs, 1 of them extinct.

I had choosen the existing one which had spread about half that world.
Started my embark, first year happened nothing special except of the usual starting jobs.
Then the Outpost liason arrived and reported taht the small goblin civ single handedly had conquered dozens of places, literally stopping existance of the civ i had choosen. Within the first year of the first fort...

So... yeah...

You scared me for a moment, I've been distracted by other stuff and haven't yet managed to get started on 0.40.x, had downloaded 0.40.10, and now you're saying 40.11 is out?!

http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/ seems to disagree though, we're still on 40.10 (as of right now, no guarantees how long that'll last of course). Just FYI for anyone else who might be perplexed about the offhand comment about 40.11.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Astrid on August 28, 2014, 07:24:14 am
LOL, yes 40.10 no idea why i typed 11 there... xD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: chillas on August 28, 2014, 07:35:44 am
I had found a nice embark site, right next to a 12-or-so Z level waterfall.  In setting everything up, I put my trade depot in the corner next to the waterfall and the cliff face next to it.

I go about my business of getting the rest of my fort set up and after a time the outpost liaison shows up.  I do business with him and it takes a few minutes for me to realize I've received no notification about the caravan arriving.  Time passed, still nothing.

Seasons passed and the human and elven caravans arrived.

Then I started getting notifications that the dwarves were being bothered by a ghost.  And more ghosts.  Checked my units and found no one missing.

Finally, in doing some construction down at the level of the bottom of the waterfall I realized what had happened.  The original caravan had somehow managed to fall into the river and drown.  Every single one of them, their animals, and all their goods down at the bottom of a raging waterfall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Midboss on August 28, 2014, 09:21:45 pm
I had a minotaur with a single combat report of 4 strangulations for about an entire season so I lifted the civilian alert thinking he was broken somehow. Sure enough someone walked straight up to the minotaur to pick up the corpse he was stuck stranguling and attempted to run while hauling a corpse. The minotaur was not pleased with me interrupting his corpse strangulation and proceeded to rampage on everyone outside. While the corpse gathering was going on I was going to gather all my troops near my entrance to deal with the minotaur. When he started to rampage I tried cancelling the previous station order with an order to remain in the tower. The archers continued pathing towards my entrance rather than double back. Now the minotaur is tearing apart woefully under equipped squishies and people inside are starting to tantrum. A soldier finally came along and placed his warhammer firmly in the minotaur's head.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slogo on August 29, 2014, 12:16:51 pm
Quote from: chillas on August 28, 2014, 07:35:44 am
I had found a nice embark site, right next to a 12-or-so Z level waterfall.  In setting everything up, I put my trade depot in the corner next to the waterfall and the cliff face next to it.

I go about my business of getting the rest of my fort set up and after a time the outpost liaison shows up.  I do business with him and it takes a few minutes for me to realize I've received no notification about the caravan arriving.  Time passed, still nothing.

Seasons passed and the human and elven caravans arrived.

Then I started getting notifications that the dwarves were being bothered by a ghost.  And more ghosts.  Checked my units and found no one missing.

Finally, in doing some construction down at the level of the bottom of the waterfall I realized what had happened.  The original caravan had somehow managed to fall into the river and drown.  Every single one of them, their animals, and all their goods down at the bottom of a raging waterfall.

I'm in a situation sort of like that one. I had diverted my river so it was flowing at 3/7 for a while. I had traffic-restricted the area for my dwarves, but merchants don't seem to care as much about that. They decided to take a dip there as they were leaving, then promptly decided they were stuck. Possibly because the river is back up to 6/7. Either way they seem like they can swim well enough to not drown, but refuse to move. One merchant has already gone insane and was put down by his allies and it's only a matter of time before the others turn. I may build a memorial 'bridge' for them to commemorate their stupidity.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jei on August 30, 2014, 06:44:35 am
Quote from: Slogo on August 29, 2014, 12:16:51 pm
Quote from: chillas on August 28, 2014, 07:35:44 am
I had found a nice embark site, right next to a 12-or-so Z level waterfall.  In setting everything up, I put my trade depot in the corner next to the waterfall and the cliff face next to it.

I go about my business of getting the rest of my fort set up and after a time the outpost liaison shows up.  I do business with him and it takes a few minutes for me to realize I've received no notification about the caravan arriving.  Time passed, still nothing.

Seasons passed and the human and elven caravans arrived.

Then I started getting notifications that the dwarves were being bothered by a ghost.  And more ghosts.  Checked my units and found no one missing.

Finally, in doing some construction down at the level of the bottom of the waterfall I realized what had happened.  The original caravan had somehow managed to fall into the river and drown.  Every single one of them, their animals, and all their goods down at the bottom of a raging waterfall.

I'm in a situation sort of like that one. I had diverted my river so it was flowing at 3/7 for a while. I had traffic-restricted the area for my dwarves, but merchants don't seem to care as much about that. They decided to take a dip there as they were leaving, then promptly decided they were stuck. Possibly because the river is back up to 6/7. Either way they seem like they can swim well enough to not drown, but refuse to move. One merchant has already gone insane and was put down by his allies and it's only a matter of time before the others turn. I may build a memorial 'bridge' for them to commemorate their stupidity.

This reminds me of one fort whose entrance I built next or behind a waterfall. The caravans didn't use the entrance, they preferred to dive into the waterfall (or fall in), then dive inside the fortress through the sewers and walk back upto the Depot. Of course sometimes even left via the river as well, by swimming.  Naturally, all their goods were lost while jumping into the river and diving, or leaving. But I still thought it awesome. Hard core salesmen.



Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tonnot98 on August 30, 2014, 09:47:06 am
This happened on 34.11's adventure mode...

(http://i.imgur.com/QYnrxxJ.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on August 30, 2014, 09:51:38 am
Quote from: tonnot98 on August 30, 2014, 09:47:06 am
This happened on 34.11's adventure mode...

(http://i.imgur.com/QYnrxxJ.png)
That looks like a good death.  At least you didnt fall down the stairs and die :P

Why were you training wrestling on a creature with horns?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: reality.auditor on August 31, 2014, 09:05:46 am
Quote from: pisskop on August 30, 2014, 09:51:38 am
Why were you training wrestling on a creature with horns?
"It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time"...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DMofDOOM on August 31, 2014, 11:39:26 pm
Quote from: Midboss on August 28, 2014, 09:21:45 pm
I had a minotaur with a single combat report of 4 strangulations for about an entire season so I lifted the civilian alert thinking he was broken somehow. Sure enough someone walked straight up to the minotaur to pick up the corpse he was stuck stranguling and attempted to run while hauling a corpse. The minotaur was not pleased with me interrupting his corpse strangulation and proceeded to rampage on everyone outside. While the corpse gathering was going on I was going to gather all my troops near my entrance to deal with the minotaur. When he started to rampage I tried cancelling the previous station order with an order to remain in the tower. The archers continued pathing towards my entrance rather than double back. Now the minotaur is tearing apart woefully under equipped squishies and people inside are starting to tantrum. A soldier finally came along and placed his warhammer firmly in the minotaur's head.

I'm not on 40.10 yet, but was laughing and had to share. I just had a Minotaurshow up and catch the one poor Suturer outside the fortress. It should have been a one head-twist half-step pause before the fortress would have been thankful for the line of cage traps in front of the entrance. But what actually happens is the first attack of the Minotaur is to grab the Suturer by the (llama wool shoe) with her left hand, and it evidently came off, because the Minotaur has now been ineffectively beating the Suturer with it for a month.

I could be in trouble when the Elfs want to trade....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dutrius on September 01, 2014, 10:58:10 am
Second ever fort. Great starting location. Optimized starting goods as much as possible.

Embarked, started designating the initial fort set up. Dismantled wagon and used logs for couple of workshops. Everyone busy...

Wait. Woodcutter is idle. I have designated a whole bunch of trees for cutting down, and Urist McWoodsdwarf is standing around doing naff all.

WHY????

Oh, hold on... Apparently, I needed one of those axes that I had removed from the embark list in favour of other stuff.

Damn it!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on September 01, 2014, 11:43:07 am
Quote from: Dutrius on September 01, 2014, 10:58:10 am
Second ever fort. Great starting location. Optimized starting goods as much as possible.

Embarked, started designating the initial fort set up. Dismantled wagon and used logs for couple of workshops. Everyone busy...

Wait. Woodcutter is idle. I have designated a whole bunch of trees for cutting down, and Urist McWoodsdwarf is standing around doing naff all.

WHY????

Oh, hold on... Apparently, I needed one of those axes that I had removed from the embark list in favour of other stuff.

Damn it!

You may or may not know this, but you can save a ton of embark points by bringing a few logs with you instead of the axes.  You use 1 log to build a carpentry shop, and then build 1 or 2 wooden axes.  They work every bit as good as metal ones for felling trees.  That will free up 60 points on embark for you.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on September 01, 2014, 12:54:08 pm
So I updated my mods for 40.10.  All that is left is the items.


So I tested out my creautres, including the ones put up on DFFD.


I tested out the caccodemons, and it went well at first.  Then the very first caccodemon got kicked him in the head by an untrained dwarf and bruised his brain. (http://i.imgur.com/BbwoLKj.gif)

And I thought we made skulls thicker?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Repseki on September 01, 2014, 02:54:41 pm
Before I started my latest fort I added a few minor reactions to allow for a little doctor training, some with a low chance to return some of the cloth/thread used as reagents in the reaction.

A few runs of the reaction later, with a significant amount of oddly focused cloth hauling, and I realize I might have made a mistake with the reactions products.

So now my fort has 10000 Wool Cloth and a Doctor with some seriously Legendary Suturing skills...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vyro on September 02, 2014, 05:51:56 pm
My small volcano fort saw an engineering upgrade in form of bar and ore stockpile autoquantumization (which I like a lot). This time I decided to test a new theory by making a one-stop route directly atop the dumping stop. A dorf brings the hematite boulder, shoves it into the cart, it tilts and the boulder is dumped, surprisingly it worked.

Until the mining operations hit a minor pause. Which spiked the workload, and three boulders happened to be put in together. That somehow increased the momentum from a shove to high enough for the cart to skip the stop and slam into the opposite wall, obviously through the smelter the stockpile was feeding, making the furnace operator dodge it. Time after time. That was genuinely funny to watch. Then he dodged to the wrong side, fell through a hole and took a dive straight for the planet core. I laughed. I need a new operator now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Borge on September 03, 2014, 01:00:54 am
Quote from: Vyro on September 02, 2014, 05:51:56 pm
My small volcano fort saw an engineering upgrade in form of bar and ore stockpile autoquantumization (which I like a lot). This time I decided to test a new theory by making a one-stop route directly atop the dumping stop. A dorf brings the hematite boulder, shoves it into the cart, it tilts and the boulder is dumped, surprisingly it worked.

Until the mining operations hit a minor pause. Which spiked the workload, and three boulders happened to be put in together. That somehow increased the momentum from a shove to high enough for the cart to skip the stop and slam into the opposite wall, obviously through the smelter the stockpile was feeding, making the furnace operator dodge it. Time after time. That was genuinely funny to watch. Then he dodged to the wrong side, fell through a hole and took a dive straight for the planet core. I laughed. I need a new operator now.

Usually a good idea to cover it up with a corner of the workshop.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on September 03, 2014, 01:24:10 am
I decided to use a "release the hounds!" style defence, with cages full of dogs, giant and normal dingoes and wolves, plus some random snakes. This worked once or twice, but the last time I tried it, a giant dingo decided to go rogue and attack his fellow canines. There was a canine-loyalty cascade in all the dogs in that area. I'm not even sure how that worked.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on September 03, 2014, 01:33:42 am
Quote from: StagnantSoul on September 03, 2014, 01:24:10 am
I decided to use a "release the hounds!" style defence, with cages full of dogs, giant and normal dingoes and wolves, plus some random snakes. This worked once or twice, but the last time I tried it, a giant dingo decided to go rogue and attack his fellow canines. There was a canine-loyalty cascade in all the dogs in that area. I'm not even sure how that worked.

Seriously?

Might want to post that up as a bug report.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on September 03, 2014, 01:55:50 am
I think it may be a similar bug to the dwarves attacking each other in combat. I'll report it sometime, if anyone else can replicate it. Replication constitutes a bug, right?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RocheLimit on September 03, 2014, 11:05:33 am
Building a pump stack to fill a cistern for forges/smelters, then engraving the entire thing as "I'm never going to drain it, so I should get that done now" using two lvl 20 engravers.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Almost lost one of them due to instant 0 happiness.

Up to that point I never knew magma could be considered 'Impertinent' or that it would smooth engraved stone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snaake on September 04, 2014, 12:45:48 pm
Quote from: DMofDOOM on August 31, 2014, 11:39:26 pm
Quote from: Midboss on August 28, 2014, 09:21:45 pm
I had a minotaur with a single combat report of 4 strangulations for about an entire season so I lifted the civilian alert thinking he was broken somehow. Sure enough someone walked straight up to the minotaur to pick up the corpse he was stuck stranguling and attempted to run while hauling a corpse. The minotaur was not pleased with me interrupting his corpse strangulation and proceeded to rampage on everyone outside. While the corpse gathering was going on I was going to gather all my troops near my entrance to deal with the minotaur. When he started to rampage I tried cancelling the previous station order with an order to remain in the tower. The archers continued pathing towards my entrance rather than double back. Now the minotaur is tearing apart woefully under equipped squishies and people inside are starting to tantrum. A soldier finally came along and placed his warhammer firmly in the minotaur's head.

I'm not on 40.10 yet, but was laughing and had to share. I just had a Minotaurshow up and catch the one poor Suturer outside the fortress. It should have been a one head-twist half-step pause before the fortress would have been thankful for the line of cage traps in front of the entrance. But what actually happens is the first attack of the Minotaur is to grab the Suturer by the (llama wool shoe) with her left hand, and it evidently came off, because the Minotaur has now been ineffectively beating the Suturer with it for a month.

I could be in trouble when the Elfs want to trade....

Already the 2nd single-minded minotaur story, love it.


Quote from: Borge on September 03, 2014, 01:00:54 am
Quote from: Vyro on September 02, 2014, 05:51:56 pm
My small volcano fort saw an engineering upgrade in form of bar and ore stockpile autoquantumization (which I like a lot). This time I decided to test a new theory by making a one-stop route directly atop the dumping stop. A dorf brings the hematite boulder, shoves it into the cart, it tilts and the boulder is dumped, surprisingly it worked.

Until the mining operations hit a minor pause. Which spiked the workload, and three boulders happened to be put in together. That somehow increased the momentum from a shove to high enough for the cart to skip the stop and slam into the opposite wall, obviously through the smelter the stockpile was feeding, making the furnace operator dodge it. Time after time. That was genuinely funny to watch. Then he dodged to the wrong side, fell through a hole and took a dive straight for the planet core. I laughed. I need a new operator now.

Usually a good idea to cover it up with a corner of the workshop.

Vyro: You should've just removed all the push commands to begin with, they're not used on minecart auto-quantum stockpilers.
Borge: I think you mean with an impassable tile of the workshop. Which definitely isn't a corner on all magma workshops, iirc forgers had the left+right middle tiles as impassable (darker green ones when you're placing it).


So far my biggest facepalm in 40.x is bringing bituminous coal for some easy initial forge-work, but no anvil.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on September 04, 2014, 05:13:47 pm
... I just embarked on a great site... But I forgot I'd gotten rid of my copper picks by accident... So now I'm stuck with an anvil, a bunch of cassiserite ore to make bronze, some jet blocks for a quick smelter-forge setup..... And no way to dig for the first 3/4's of the year. So I guess it's time for a wooden palisade... >.>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chaine Maile on September 04, 2014, 07:53:46 pm
I just generated my last three worlds with 100000 minerals when I intended to use 100. Then I wondered why the sites were so barren, and even on embark I couldn't get many metals or stones.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on September 04, 2014, 09:46:13 pm
built a well directly over a built reservoir... and forgot about water pressure....

now water is spilling into my fortress and everyone is cancelling work because they're afraid of getting their feet wet...

whoops
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: khearn on September 05, 2014, 04:59:41 pm
Yeah, I've had that experience before. Dig the channel for the well and discover that it's an artesian well. Oops.

I've gotten in the habit of having my cisterns fill through a diagonal pressure relief, and one level below the top of the cistern, so the top level never fills. It has slopes along one side going down into the water so dwarves can fish and bathe. It's an extra level of channelling, but it keeps things quite safe.


   Keith
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: INSANEcyborg on September 07, 2014, 10:32:04 am
My current embark is a an evil mountain next to neutral plains.   Main fort is in the mountain, and I'm using the plains for my animals and butchers workshop.   No evil rains or clouds, but there are a few undead critters roaming around.

First face palm was when I ordered bones, skulls, etc to be dumped inside the fort.  I accidentally brought in some yak hair with it, which promptly reanimated and started attacking.   Luckily there were no serious injuries.

Second face palm is that I'm currently trying to build a shelter over the pastures.  I enabled masonry on my military and started building.  I figured if anything came by, they'd be able to kill it.   Instead I have an owl hovering above it, close enough to cause cancellations, too far away to be hit.  My marksdwarves are shooting all their bolts into the sky, they've gone though a couple stacks of ammo and the combat log only has 1 hit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Paaaad on September 07, 2014, 08:30:47 pm
Ran into a Giant Cave Spider Recruit in Adventure Mode. Nuff' said.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jei on September 08, 2014, 02:23:19 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jei on September 08, 2014, 02:59:42 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Now, Magma crab triplets. Sorry for the bad picture. Wondering what to do with them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on September 08, 2014, 05:34:30 pm
Quote from: jei on September 08, 2014, 02:59:42 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Now, Magma crab triplets. Sorry for the bad picture. Wondering what to do with them.
Basalt ballistics
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on September 08, 2014, 05:36:24 pm
Quote from: Aslandus on September 08, 2014, 05:34:30 pm
Quote from: jei on September 08, 2014, 02:59:42 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Now, Magma crab triplets. Sorry for the bad picture. Wondering what to do with them.
Basalt ballistics

They shoot magma now, not basalt.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Repseki on September 09, 2014, 06:59:41 am
Having not had any FBs in a while, and wanting to challenge my military a bit more, I had my miners dig a staircase down into the caverns that leads up to the main entrance/training area.

Upon breaching the 1st cavern I immediately got an announcement about a Giant Wasp, with poisonous sting, FB that had clearly been chilling in the part of the caverns I never bothered to explore. Happy to have something at least somewhat dangerous for my military to fight, I had my civies stay inside, and set the camera to follow the FB so I could watch.

Almost immediately after resuming the FB flew straight past the staircase opening in the ceiling and instead started fighting two Blind Cave Ogres, getting completely decimated and barely doing any damage besides the one sting it got in...

Guess it's back to digging.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on September 09, 2014, 11:43:37 am
Messed up my cistern system, now I have to wait until the freeze starts in mid autumn to fix it... luckily I should have plenty of booze this time... just gonna let all the water flow into the cavern
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: aiseant on September 10, 2014, 08:17:09 am
The whole fortress is closed, everyone inside, why should I care about your undead attack ?
... oh ... wait a minute ...
Didn't I told you lazy bastards to get this MegaBeast Firebreather corpse OUT of there ?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: soulsource on September 11, 2014, 01:33:19 pm
For me the most facepalm moment up to now was actually two days ago, when I tried to sell a caged undead to the caravan...
I should have read the wiki article, then I would have known that non-trainable hostile creatures are set free, when one tries to haul their cage to the trade depot. Furthermore, I learned that it's a bad idea to send soldiers armed with crossbows to kill a suddenly set free undead in the middle of the crowded common dining area...
You might have guessed, the first missed shot hit a civilian dwarf, causing the armed civilians (hunters, woodcutters) to attack the soldiers, causing more bloodshed, and the overall chaos triggered by the resulting tantrum spiral leading to a spontaneous depopulation of the whole fortress to a point, where I chose to abandon it...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: khearn on September 11, 2014, 01:38:52 pm
Really? Your crossbows can hit your own people? I've watched them shoot through my melee troops (without hitting them) often enough that I thought they couldn't hit friendlies. Or maybe it's just friendly civilians that they hit, but they're more careful when shooting past troops that might do more that just complain to the Mayor about it?

   Keith
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on September 11, 2014, 01:42:29 pm
Simple pair of goblin ambushes... Sent some markdwarves to take care of it, and I forgot to give them metal bolts instead of wooden ones, lost ten elite markdwarves that I just spent three in-game years constantly training.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on September 11, 2014, 03:05:09 pm
Quote from: khearn on September 11, 2014, 01:38:52 pm
Really? Your crossbows can hit your own people? I've watched them shoot through my melee troops (without hitting them) often enough that I thought they couldn't hit friendlies. Or maybe it's just friendly civilians that they hit, but they're more careful when shooting past troops that might do more that just complain to the Mayor about it?

   Keith
I think that's actually a glitch, any civilian who sees a hostile inside the base panics and is suddenly treated like an enemy by military... a source of much Fun when you accidentally release an unarmed goblin and they run through your dining room before being killed leading to a slaughter of everyone...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: stormyseasons on September 12, 2014, 06:47:41 am
Had a dwarf child claim a Craft shop, then berserk for some reason or the other. Probably because of lacking materials, not that I was bothering to check a child-mood. I set my fledgling military on the berserking brat, who promptly gets struck down... and while I'm leaving the mangled corpse there in my main stairwell to toughen up my dwarfs mentally, one dwarf or another gets upset and starts to fight each other... over and over. It'll be good to see how many dwarfs survive this... quasi-tantrum spiral?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: soulsource on September 12, 2014, 07:24:59 am
Ok, I didn't know about the glitch, and the "hit the wrong target explanation" sounded reasonable to me. I didn't read through the very long combat reports... That'll teach me to keep panicked dwarfs and military well separated...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on September 12, 2014, 10:25:13 am
Quote from: soulsource on September 12, 2014, 07:24:59 am
Ok, I didn't know about the glitch, and the "hit the wrong target explanation" sounded reasonable to me. I didn't read through the very long combat reports... That'll teach me to keep panicked dwarfs and military well separated...
May I suggest training your civilians for discipline?

It can be fairly easy, from what Im understanding.  a corpse here and a puppyfall there.  If you put the bodies in the intended break rooms it will also help keep them from slacking off and making friends.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Brenodor on September 12, 2014, 01:20:59 pm
Had a nice fortress going...
Apparently i atomsmashed one of my legendary Swordsdwarves. Of course the one wearing an artifact weapon and breastplate. yay
She had killed two Invasions on her own...
I only noticed by the message that she has been missing for a while.
I'm sad  :(

Maybe i should start savescumming

Regards
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on September 12, 2014, 02:18:18 pm
Ugh... Miss-aligned a drawbridge trap... Just crushed a group of legendary warriors...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ArKFallen on September 12, 2014, 08:29:28 pm
Spoiler: Fortress Thread Post (click to show/hide)
There are a couple in there:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Brenodor on September 14, 2014, 05:32:20 am
well...
Today I decided to start a new Fortress. I found a very nice spot, had awesome dwarves (3 were mighty and/or agile and/or very slow to tire, another liked platinum and warhammers). Naturally I was totally excited to get this fortress started. 1.5 or 2 months (note months not seasons) in after I just started digging into the earth (no pick start just ore) -> Kobold Ambush! 12 friggin' Kobolds with daggers and stuffz. They ran straight up into my newly dug tunnel and butchered my dwarves within 3 seconds. Normally I appreciate Fun but this was even for DF a little bit too early to actually do anything about it.

So I guess I need now defenses from minute 1 on.

Anyway up and again

Regards
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on September 14, 2014, 05:43:01 am
This was more of a win+facepalm- I had assigned most civilians minus the ten miners and one woodcutter to squads of mace, spear, and sword dwarves, all their metal being bronze, with shields being wood, legging, boots, gloves, cloaks, hoods, and secondary armor being leather, and a metal mail shirt and helm. So I set these guys up pretty fast, had tons of screw pumps constantly working to gain attributes, and a pet-innaccesible hallway between the food and booze stickpile covered in 4 training spear traps going on and off constantly. Everything worked well, until a migrant wave of ten fresh dwarves showed up. Assigned these guys to their own squad, and they went into a naked rage a month into their service, as I forgot to make them armor too. Then, a few grizzlies near their area just ripped them apart in seconds, so nothing was really wasted. Just one missing migrant wave, no one ever saw. Now, to get those guys making armor again...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jigowah on September 15, 2014, 07:29:53 pm
I tapped into a river from below it for a new well, and somehow instantly killed my miner/expedition leader/bookkeeper digging it out.  I cannot get his body or gear out without a universe of trouble so I just open the main floodgate and continue.  I forgot that the well was way below the river and now the nice well room I created is flooded entirely.  Quickly forbidding the doors saved the rest of the fortress.

I was able to recover by simply creating a new well above the old well and treating the old room as a big cistern.

The miner DID become a ghost but an engraved slab cured me of that and his body was never recovered.

The shame is that prior to this stupidity this fortress was a model of success and efficiency!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sus on September 16, 2014, 06:46:47 am
Note to Self:

Build a well before designating a hospital.
Otherwise, dwarves will plop down in hospital beds to heal minor bruises from some fisticuffs or whatever, and consequently dehydrate to death because nobody bothers to carry them water all the way from the river.  ::)

Also, it's a good idea to designate at least one dwarf as a nurse with only the "feed patients and prisoners", "food hauling", and "water hauling" labors enabled, if you intend your war heroes to survive their trip to the VA clinic...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Illogical_Blox on September 16, 2014, 02:46:25 pm
Well, I was reading this thread, and noticed someone boasting about his dwarf, who was great at a bunch of skills, including military and social skills. Basically, Urist McObviousvampire. *sigh*

I have also groaned at my dwarves cruelty towards each other - I got one dwarf carving another surrounded by moon snails (which he hated), looking "terrified."  ::)

That world's history was weird. There was 3-4 statues/engravings of giant lions attacking humans/elves. Pity I wouldn't have that on my current world, as it only has a 5 year history - only way I could ensure survival of the majority of civs.

Oh, and I once was panicking because the letter keys would not respond in DF - it was a while later that I realized that I was in CAPS LOCK.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on September 16, 2014, 09:44:06 pm
Quote from: Illogical_Blox on September 16, 2014, 02:46:25 pm
Oh, and I once was panicking because the letter keys would not respond in DF - it was a while later that I realized that I was in CAPS LOCK.

I wouldn't feel too bad about that, I do this at least once a week.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on September 16, 2014, 11:33:03 pm
Dug down through an aquifer thanks to a very handily placed vein of Magnetite.  Figured I'd mine out the portions of it that weren't damp.  Designations somehow screwed up and created a flood.

Unfortunately, I didn't think ahead far enough to actually dig all the way to the cavern as a drain.  So, I figured I could salvage it by building a wall where the flood was coming in.

I end up building the wall in the wrong spot and the shaft completely floods, chasing out my workers.

Well, I'm no stranger to aquifer piercing, I've done it dozens of times, so I figure I can drill down through it in another spot and come up from below, drain out the flood and finish the wall.  But, during my pierce I make the mistake of channeling the wrong spots creating a setup where I can't actually pierce.  Fabulous.

Undaunted I try again, this time my setup is correct, but my execution is off and I actually dig up/down stairs BEFORE I place the hatch cover.  So, another failed pierce.

I try a third piercing.  This time my execution is flawless and I start getting my drain set up.  Then I get the message that a dwarf has been found dead.  I go back up to the top, and find that an alligator had wandered into my fort, become enraged, and killed everyone.  He proceeds to sit in my meeting area and wander in a slow circle.  Since I was down to only one dwarf I figured I'd just leave the meeting area up and see if Urist McMiner can land a lucky shot.

He didn't.

Time to roll up another fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Midboss on September 18, 2014, 10:55:45 pm
Let's use the dump designation on all these stones in my hospital.

Why does my hospital no longer have thread, splints, crutches, powder, and buckets?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FoiledFencer on September 19, 2014, 11:05:22 am
Troglodytes are flinging themselves off mushrooms and breaking limbs or drowning in the underground lake. I have no idea why, but I assume it's some kind of protest against my imperialist policies on their former territory. Good for them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on September 19, 2014, 11:20:04 am
My children feel the need to run out to not open depot and try to grab food when its forbidden.  Well, the very borders arent, so I guess . . .


They served as good bait for the zombies, who we opened the deopt to attract.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MobRules on September 21, 2014, 10:59:28 am
Note to self:

Do NOT allow a legendary woodcrafter to make the fort's supply of wooden practice bolts.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Two on September 21, 2014, 02:37:48 pm
So my world does have some were-creature issues I learned...

First time I got a Werewolf I learned that they ignore all the traps. All dwarfs murdered.
2nd time I was prepared and had 10 dwarfs with crossbows ready. Got a were-turtle. They literally ignore all piercing weapons. All dwarfs murdered.
3rd time I had traps, melee dwarfs and ranged dwarfs. Learned that were-creatures actually contract the disease when half my fortress turned into mindless killing machines. All dwarfs murdered.
4th time I got paranoid. Traps, soldiers and a drawbridge so I could raise it at the first sight of trouble, completely locking my fortress. Also a few dogs outside to warn of incoming enemies. Got a were-chameleon. Those guys are almost invisible. First time I saw him was inside my base when he was already eating my soldiers.
Also on that try: I imprisoned all dwarfs that might have gotten infected by sealing off the hospital. As expected they turned into were-creatures, which wouldn't have been a problem because they were buried alive, however game got bugged because of that.

Next time I just put up a sign on the front door: "No were-creatures allowed"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jigowah on September 21, 2014, 05:28:25 pm
I was using a legendary hammer were-dwarf as a cave explorer with wonderful success...until a forgotten beast attacked.  A real nasty three eyed, heavily armored gecco that spit webs.  He didn't do that much damage, but he virtually refused to die.  Hits from a team of legendary hammerdwarves and trained marksmen were connecting, but he would just form scar tissue and keep going.  The battle went on for months.

In the end, most of the fortress was dead in a gigantic plug of webs, blood and insanity in one of my stairwells to the caves.  There were 20+ bodies on a each stair tile.

The tantrum spiral is making me reach for a new world gen.  Thanks for the fun!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: D34dlock on September 21, 2014, 05:32:56 pm
Quote from: MobRules on September 21, 2014, 10:59:28 am
Note to self:

Do NOT allow a legendary woodcrafter to make the fort's supply of wooden practice bolts.
If the bolts getting used caused a tantrum, it sounds like a bug. Bad thoughts from a Masterwork item getting destroyed should not happen if the item was destroyed by getting used for it's intended purpose. Masterwork prepared food is an example.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Psyra on September 21, 2014, 08:11:21 pm
Face Palm Moment? Let's see.... realizing too late that building a floodgate on the wall separating your main vertical corridor from your moat is a Bad Idea when a weregecko comes to visit comes to mind. :D

What's worse, is that the flooding damage wasn't covered by Geico!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mentalpatient87 on September 21, 2014, 09:43:15 pm
Just now had the first caravan show up. The guards and merchants are all sufficiently bearded, but the outpost liaison is a goblin. Not sure how to respond to this..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on September 21, 2014, 10:30:45 pm
Quote from: Mentalpatient87 on September 21, 2014, 09:43:15 pm
Just now had the first caravan show up. The guards and merchants are all sufficiently bearded, but the outpost liaison is a goblin. Not sure how to respond to this..

When in doubt: magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Quartz_Mace on September 21, 2014, 10:33:39 pm
Hmmm. Face palm moments... How about all of them?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: damnit,urist,youhadonejob on September 21, 2014, 10:50:02 pm
Making a thread after trying to find this one but failing to find it.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
oh and this still makes my blood boil.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on September 22, 2014, 09:14:35 pm
"A were lizard? WEll, i'll send all my finely trained dwarfs after him!"
"oh, god! Why aren't marksdwarfs using crossbows!"
"Oh, god, its kicking everyone's ass!"
"oh, god, i'm at 55 dwarves out of 80! He's badly wounded, but isn't dying!"
"oh, god, 40 out of 80!"
"oh, look he transformed into a human! Kill him!"
"oh, good he's dead!"
*one tantrum spiral later*

"Well, 9 out of 80 dwarves. Well, this is going to be difficult for a bit, but I think i can..."

*Urist mcWoodworker has changed into a werelizard!"
*Urist Mctrader had changed into a werelizard!"
"Urist McPeasant has changed into a werelizard!"

Me: *looks for a place to put the three were lizards, but finds nothing. now at 6 out of 80 dwarves.  The werelizards are not responding to military commands.* "AAAAAAAAAAAND Abandon."

*on reclaim*

"okay, so no one here, stuff everywhere... Okay! lets get this done!"

*pause* "Wait a moment, I could've used those three dwarves as a superweapon.  The fortress would have lived, but migrants would have come. THEY could have locked them in somewhere.* "FUUUUUU----"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogsak Kinakrul on September 23, 2014, 09:03:36 am
1
Tell someone to pull the lever in the danger room.
Gets killed by a punch that literally distroyed his head.
The captain confused him with a recruit. (I want to hope that)
The worst part: He enjoyed it.

2
New dwarf in the fortress.
EXACTLY WHEN HE ARRIVES TO THE MEETING AREA: "Urist McSuicidal is stricken by melancholy!"
Just... Why.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on September 23, 2014, 09:05:45 am
Quote from: Kogsak Kinakrul on September 23, 2014, 09:03:36 am
1
Tell someone to pull the lever in the danger room.
Gets killed by a punch that literally distroyed his head.
The captain confused him with a recruit. (I want to hope that)
The worst part: He enjoyed it.

2
New dwarf in the fortress.
EXACTLY WHEN HE ARRIVES TO THE MEETING AREA: "Urist McSuicidal is stricken by melancholy!"
Just... Why.
Today gave them the ability to get Emo and nihilistic.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheHossofMoss on September 23, 2014, 09:24:42 am
Quote from: pisskop on September 23, 2014, 09:05:45 am
Quote from: Kogsak Kinakrul on September 23, 2014, 09:03:36 am
1
Tell someone to pull the lever in the danger room.
Gets killed by a punch that literally distroyed his head.
The captain confused him with a recruit. (I want to hope that)
The worst part: He enjoyed it.

2
New dwarf in the fortress.
EXACTLY WHEN HE ARRIVES TO THE MEETING AREA: "Urist McSuicidal is stricken by melancholy!"
Just... Why.
Today gave them the ability to get Emo and nihilistic.

Maybe he'll start writing dark fiction and poetry. Maybe like giant ravens or something too..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bralbaard on September 23, 2014, 12:35:03 pm
I had just finished digging a wide moat around my fortress , and the construction of an impressive drawbridge. The moat was nearly filled with water, when finally the first caravan shows up with much needed trade goods. I have my dwarves haul the glass crafts and goblets to the depot, then watch in horror as the wagons plunge into the moat and drown themselves.

So after spending the first year digging the moat, my next project will be to drain the moat so I can get the anvil and other goods that are now sitting under water. Of course I forgot to install floodgates for emergencies like this before filling the moat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Icefire2314 on September 23, 2014, 09:37:19 pm
Minkot Stinthadanost, Laochra, has grown attached to a coffee wood training spear!

Thiiiiiis could prove problematic..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FoiledFencer on September 24, 2014, 03:16:08 am
Quote from: Icefire2314 on September 23, 2014, 09:37:19 pm
Minkot Stinthadanost, Laochra, has grown attached to a coffee wood training spear!

Thiiiiiis could prove problematic..

Make him a hammerer or captain of the guard. I assing them training weapons and they will use them as batons for beating the crap out of criminals without killing them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naglfar on September 24, 2014, 09:45:36 am
I planned an embarkation for thirty minutes and died immediately because I do not know how to brew.  :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Liber celi on September 24, 2014, 10:31:56 am
Quote from: Naglfar on September 24, 2014, 09:45:36 am
I planned an embarkation for thirty minutes and died immediately because I do not know how to brew.  :(
Embark on a brook! Bigger courses of water can cause problems, but brooks are safe, clean and I'm 99% sure dwarves can drink from them without a well.

On topic: I embarked with a full Mining&Metalsmithing crew, only to notice my agressive world gen optimization had left me with an embark not deeper than three z-levels.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Valikdu on September 24, 2014, 02:29:14 pm
I've accidentally magma onto the charcoal stockpile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Icefire2314 on September 24, 2014, 04:38:48 pm
Quote from: FoiledFencer on September 24, 2014, 03:16:08 am
Quote from: Icefire2314 on September 23, 2014, 09:37:19 pm
Minkot Stinthadanost, Laochra, has grown attached to a coffee wood training spear!

Thiiiiiis could prove problematic..

Make him a hammerer or captain of the guard. I assing them training weapons and they will use them as batons for beating the crap out of criminals without killing them.

Isn't that supposed to be fixed regardless though with lethality levels in combat?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: thendes on September 24, 2014, 04:56:56 pm
3 weremice at once.
Carnage.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: khearn on September 24, 2014, 07:35:03 pm
So I'm watching my miner dig out the last tile between the cavern and my forgotten beast trap. I just watched an FB run past a minute ago, chasing a crundle, so I'm standing by to forbid the door the miner will run through right after he finishes digging. I've even designated a bunch of marble a few floors up to be dug so he'll have a job to head for instead of standing around twiddling his thumbs. I've also got a bridge that will be closed, but the door is to delay the FB long enough to get the lever pulled.

Suddenly, just as the miner finishes and starts to run, but before I can forbid the door or order the bridge lever pulled, my viewpoint is yanked up to the surface, where one of our watch-poultry has spotted a wereboar. Shit, just what I need right to deal with right now. Ok, I can just go back down and do those things, then   come up and deal with the wereboar, let's see, I need to make sure everyone has their armor on, then check...

So I hit enter to dismiss the wereboar popup, and am already thinking about heading back down there and suddenly get "Merit deserves a reward, and I come empowered to establish this colony as an official land of our realm. Do you have any dwarves to recommend for elevation?"

NOOOO! I don't want to stop and look through all of my dwarves for a good baron candidate right now! I'm freaking busy!

Sheesh, it never rains, it pours.

   Keith
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thisfox on September 24, 2014, 11:58:03 pm
It never rains but it pours.
I didn't know you could check the dwarfs out when they offer you a peerage recommendation for one of them. How do you do that? I guess it doesn't matter too much.

I try to have my first seven dwarfs sussed out and the best two or three (in case I loose some in accidents) with the best attributes get their names written in my logbook for later peerages. It's the same notebook that has the things the traders want next year, or my theories on who is a vampire, or whether this fort wants to keep the sheep for wool, or goats, this season. Etc.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FoiledFencer on September 25, 2014, 06:11:26 am
Quote from: Icefire2314 on September 24, 2014, 04:38:48 pm
Quote from: FoiledFencer on September 24, 2014, 03:16:08 am
Quote from: Icefire2314 on September 23, 2014, 09:37:19 pm
Minkot Stinthadanost, Laochra, has grown attached to a coffee wood training spear!

Thiiiiiis could prove problematic..

Make him a hammerer or captain of the guard. I assing them training weapons and they will use them as batons for beating the crap out of criminals without killing them.

Isn't that supposed to be fixed regardless though with lethality levels in combat?

Good point! I haven't seen any beatings dealt out yet, but I've had tantrumming dwarves punching eachothers skulls in, but I am not sure if that's lethal combat or accidental.

EDIT: It just occurs to me that with a more nuanced approach to thoughts and the inclusion of lethality levels, it might be possible to set it up so you can sic your fortress guard on rioters without causing catastrophic civilian losses or loyalty cascades.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: khearn on September 25, 2014, 10:28:08 am
Quote from: Thisfox on September 24, 2014, 11:58:03 pm
It never rains but it pours.
I didn't know you could check the dwarfs out when they offer you a peerage recommendation for one of them. How do you do that? I guess it doesn't matter too much.

I try to have my first seven dwarfs sussed out and the best two or three (in case I loose some in accidents) with the best attributes get their names written in my logbook for later peerages. It's the same notebook that has the things the traders want next year, or my theories on who is a vampire, or whether this fort wants to keep the sheep for wool, or goats, this season. Etc.

I use dwarf therapist and mainly look for dwarves with no item preferences in order to eliminate pesky mandates.

    Keith
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: khearn on September 25, 2014, 11:49:31 am
Continuing my situation with the FB, werewarthog (not wereboar as I said earlier), and outpost liaison: I take the time and search through my dwarves for Baron candidates. It turns out that I have over a dozen with no item preferences, including my resident vampire, who is currently sitting out a 401 day sentence for 2 murders. He's also one of my best soldiers, which makes having him in prison inconvenient at the moment. But there's no way I'm making him Baron. Anyway, I pick out the least offensive of the lot and recommend him to the liaison, then sit impatiently through all the gossip about who got kidnapped, and who got elected mayor in forts I've never heard of. Then we go through the trade agreements while I'm really thinking about other things. "You want lots of drums next year? Sure, whatever. We're making rock mugs, like usual." I finally get rid of him. "Yeah, yeah, rise and fall together. Excuse me while I go deal with a forgotten beast and a werewarthog, or we're going to fall together a lot sooner than you might think."

So I get the lever pulled and the bridge raises so I don't have to deal with the FB in the caverns for the moment. Then I set the "DEFCON1" alert to activate the civilian burrow, and then station my melee and crossbow squads in the hallway just inside the door that leads out to the depot and main entrance hallway. At this point the werewarthog is getting close enough to my outer walls that I'm a little concerned about whether the crossbow dwarves who are supposed to be patrolling the walls will make it inside in time, so I check and there is no one on the walls. I suppose this should bother me, but at this point I'm happy to see that they're derelicting their duties.

I watch the werehog rush through my outer gate, and just as he's going down the ramp into my fort towards my waiting ambush, the commander of my crossbow squad appears at the top of the ramp. *facepalm*. "WTF are you doing there?!!" He and the hog start dancing around, jumping out of each other's way while I direct both squads to get out there and help.

I go and check to see where they all are, and see two swordsdwarves and the outpost liaison coming up the hallway between the main stairs and the entrance. The archer captain and the werehog continue dancing, and I see the hog manage to bite the captain a couple of times, so I make a note to quarantine him if he survives. Then the hog gets a wrestling hold on the captain and dislocates his hip, causing the captain to give in to the pain. In the mean time, the liaison and the two soldiers get to the 1 tile wide door and do a Three Stooges routine trying to get through it, forcing the soldiers to get down and crawl. "Thanks a lot, liaison. I really need for you to slow my troops down. You're just going to turn around and run as soon as you round the next corner and see the fight, anyways."

Well, the hog is now alternating between practicing various wrestling moves and futilely trying to bit the captain's head through his -steel helm-. Another marksdwarf shows up, fires one bolt (to no effect) and then decides to rush into hand to hand combat with a werewarthog. Another facepalm moment.

Then the liaison rounds the corner ahead of the swordsdwarves, and rather than run away, he charges forward. He proceeds to rush up to the werewarthog and grab its tongue! Facepalm moment number 3. "Here's something they may not have taught you in diplomacy school: If you're fighting a night creature who spreads it's terrible curse by biting, do not put your hands anywhere near its mouth. In particular, do not reach inside its mouth and grab its tongue, you inbred moron!"

Predictably, the werehog spends most of the rest of the fight biting and shaking the liaison. This does, however, give the rest of my troops the opportunity to arrive and eventually kill the beast. So now I've got an archer captain that was bitten a few times and has several dislocated joints, another soldier who I think was bitten once or twice (need to go over the logs again), and an outpost liaison who was bitten so many times that he is faint from loss of blood. I don't know if I want him to survive or not. All the effort of searching for a baron candidate is wasted if he dies. But if he lives, will I have to worry about him turning into a werewarthog in the heart of my fort next year when he comes back?

I love this game!

   Keith
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on September 26, 2014, 09:52:25 am
I modded in a certain clown to be a megabeast.

In a test run I put stage 01 vs stage 02 in the arena.  S02 throws S01 by his thumb with her pincer, sending him to his death via massive trauma.  She chases after his limp, dying body and drowns in the river.

:faceplam:
(http://i.imgur.com/BbwoLKj.gif)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Valikdu on September 27, 2014, 03:59:00 pm
I've used clearowned & autodump too much, leading to lots of unhappy thoughts due to nudity, leading to multiple simultaneous tantrums in the dining hall.

The horror.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bralbaard on September 27, 2014, 05:18:55 pm
Quote from: Bralbaard on September 23, 2014, 12:35:03 pm
I had just finished digging a wide moat around my fortress , and the construction of an impressive drawbridge. The moat was nearly filled with water, when finally the first caravan shows up with much needed trade goods. I have my dwarves haul the glass crafts and goblets to the depot, then watch in horror as the wagons plunge into the moat and drown themselves.

So after spending the first year digging the moat, my next project will be to drain the moat so I can get the anvil and other goods that are now sitting under water. Of course I forgot to install floodgates for emergencies like this before filling the moat.

So I finally have everything in place to drain the moat: I have ten screw pumps to pump the water out (and keep new water from flowing in) windmills to power it all, and axles and gear assemblies to link it all up. There have been a lot of other preparations for when the moat has been drained. So I finally pull the switch and... nothing happens. After reading up on windmills I find out I happen to be on an embark where there is simply no wind. -facepalm-


Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: suokko on September 27, 2014, 08:00:48 pm
I choose to embark to terrifying freezing tundra. I loaded saved embark setup that has only only anvil, minimal alcohol and raw materials. I managed to build 5x8 shelter. Soon follow by attempt to build smelter and forge. At this point I notice that my civilization didn't provide iron anvils. Oops!

How would dwarf survive to the autumn?

No way to survive without farms or water. But attempt actually failed sooner when raven corpses found error in my ceiling that left one side open for entry. I suppose I wouldn't have survived that surprise attack even if I had anvil to produce weapons and armors.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Max on September 28, 2014, 09:07:53 pm
I just found out in the world gen thread that by highlighting a biome on embark you can make sure your wagon lands on the one square of non-bloodrain/zombie-wildlife horrors in the map...

I can deal with the awfulness if I have just a little breathing room, but starting out with the dwarves nauseous and panic-cleaning dwarf blood off of themselves rather than digging a defensible position before the six boar corpses around the corner find them... well, that ended quickly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gloomy1 on September 30, 2014, 03:56:32 am
I built a small keep over my fort entrance to house my militia - second floor houses my axedwarfs and the third floor has fortifications and archers.  When the goblin siege finally arrives I raise the bridge and send my archers to their stations.   Soon I notice 2 archers managed to get outside my keep!  They charged 40 goblins and died fast... then I notice one of my melee troops is outside and charging the enemy!  Then more archers!  I'm looking everywhere and can't find any way for my troops to get out.  Pretty soon half of my troops have charged the goblin army one or two at a time! 

Then I remember that climbing has been added.  I forgot to forbid my roof hatch!  My stupid archers were climbing onto the roof and down the walls of the keep to charge the goblins instead of staying behind fortifications and shooting. :P

Duh!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on September 30, 2014, 05:57:27 am
Quote from: Max on September 28, 2014, 09:07:53 pm
I just found out in the world gen thread that by highlighting a biome on embark you can make sure your wagon lands on the one square of non-bloodrain/zombie-wildlife horrors in the map...

I can deal with the awfulness if I have just a little breathing room, but starting out with the dwarves nauseous and panic-cleaning dwarf blood off of themselves rather than digging a defensible position before the six boar corpses around the corner find them... well, that ended quickly.
and how do you do this?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Max on September 30, 2014, 08:48:40 am
Quote from: SimRobert2001 on September 30, 2014, 05:57:27 am
Quote from: Max on September 28, 2014, 09:07:53 pm
I just found out in the world gen thread that by highlighting a biome on embark you can make sure your wagon lands on the one square of non-bloodrain/zombie-wildlife horrors in the map...

I can deal with the awfulness if I have just a little breathing room, but starting out with the dwarves nauseous and panic-cleaning dwarf blood off of themselves rather than digging a defensible position before the six boar corpses around the corner find them... well, that ended quickly.
and how do you do this?
Hit f1/f2/etc and have it highlighted when you embark apparently. T.T
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on September 30, 2014, 05:50:41 pm
Quote from: Max on September 30, 2014, 08:48:40 am
Quote from: SimRobert2001 on September 30, 2014, 05:57:27 am
Quote from: Max on September 28, 2014, 09:07:53 pm
I just found out in the world gen thread that by highlighting a biome on embark you can make sure your wagon lands on the one square of non-bloodrain/zombie-wildlife horrors in the map...

I can deal with the awfulness if I have just a little breathing room, but starting out with the dwarves nauseous and panic-cleaning dwarf blood off of themselves rather than digging a defensible position before the six boar corpses around the corner find them... well, that ended quickly.
and how do you do this?
Hit f1/f2/etc and have it highlighted when you embark apparently. T.T

@.@
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Paaaad on September 30, 2014, 06:36:46 pm
Whenever I find a worldgen fortress that bottoms out in magma. Happened at least twice now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on September 30, 2014, 06:45:12 pm
Quote from: Paaaad on September 30, 2014, 06:36:46 pm
Whenever I find a worldgen fortress that bottoms out in magma. Happened at least twice now.

Are you talking about the ones which have a staircase which is full of magma? Seen plenty of those in adventure mode.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Paaaad on September 30, 2014, 07:30:57 pm
Quote from: smjjames on September 30, 2014, 06:45:12 pm
Quote from: Paaaad on September 30, 2014, 06:36:46 pm
Whenever I find a worldgen fortress that bottoms out in magma. Happened at least twice now.

Are you talking about the ones which have a staircase which is full of magma? Seen plenty of those in adventure mode.

Yep. What idiot designed and built those places?  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on September 30, 2014, 07:34:42 pm
Quote from: Paaaad on September 30, 2014, 07:30:57 pm
Quote from: smjjames on September 30, 2014, 06:45:12 pm
Quote from: Paaaad on September 30, 2014, 06:36:46 pm
Whenever I find a worldgen fortress that bottoms out in magma. Happened at least twice now.

Are you talking about the ones which have a staircase which is full of magma? Seen plenty of those in adventure mode.

Yep. What idiot designed and built those places?  ::)

*Cough*

Yeah, who would flood the bottom of their fort with magma like that.  Talk about total losers.

Right.   :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Paaaad on September 30, 2014, 08:00:08 pm
Spoiler: Quotes (click to show/hide)

I remember finding one that appeared to end in a frigging magma pool. Got the popup and everything.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ptb_ptb on October 01, 2014, 05:42:08 am
Fun fact: Caged beserk dwarves become free beserk dwarves if you abandon then reclaim the fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on October 01, 2014, 10:28:17 am
I fell out of a tree.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Now how do I play Stranger?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sirbug on October 01, 2014, 01:54:18 pm
Urist McMiner was digging me a vertical shaft for my well. In the middle of the work, he went on break and once break ended, he apparently climbed up leaving shaft unaccessible unworked.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ptb_ptb on October 01, 2014, 03:35:49 pm
Carefully planned embark based on the 'wagon = three logs = 1 carpentry workshop + two training axes' trick.

Arrived on steep slope, no wagon. D:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naglfar on October 01, 2014, 03:38:58 pm
Quote from: ptb_ptb on October 01, 2014, 03:35:49 pm
Carefully planned embark based on the 'wagon = three logs = 1 carpentry workshop + two training axes' trick.

Arrived on steep slope, no wagon. D:

That is hilarious! On a side note, how were you planning to obtain the pick?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on October 01, 2014, 03:40:28 pm
Quote from: Sirbug on October 01, 2014, 01:54:18 pm
Urist McMiner was digging me a vertical shaft for my well. In the middle of the work, he went on break and once break ended, he apparently climbed up leaving shaft unaccessible unworked.
Set up a minecart and have him ride it back down there. Hopefully his arms will remain intact. ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Day.one on October 01, 2014, 10:06:21 pm
My manager goes running after an elephant and bites its tusk. The Elephant in return kicks his head, twice.
The whole scene was next to the embark caravan so all other dwarfs are horrified again and again as they haul goods inside.  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naglfar on October 02, 2014, 09:51:00 am
  ▓
≈ ∞ ☺Y

    ▓   
≈ ∞       ☺
         
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on October 02, 2014, 12:34:28 pm
Quote from: Naglfar on October 02, 2014, 09:51:00 am
  ▓
≈ ∞ ☺Y

    ▓   
≈ ∞  α     ☺
         

I don't get it, other than something with a merchant and zombies, and an aardvark.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thisfox on October 02, 2014, 10:36:12 pm
Quote from: smjjames on October 02, 2014, 12:34:28 pm
Quote from: Naglfar on October 02, 2014, 09:51:00 am
  ▓
≈ ∞ ☺Y

    ▓   
≈ ∞  α     ☺
         

I can see a lungfish, and three werebeasts, and I've only ever seen the infinity symbol as a boulder, out of doors, getting in the way of my nice row of farm plots. Oh, and a dwarf, of course. The dwarf drops the lungfish, and then werebeasts arrive and surround the lungfish?  I think I'm missing something. I like the enigma though.

I don't get it, other than something with a merchant and zombies, and an aardvark.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: puke on October 03, 2014, 12:24:05 am
Quote from: ptb_ptb on October 01, 2014, 03:35:49 pm
Carefully planned embark based on the 'wagon = three logs = 1 carpentry workshop + two training axes' trick.

Arrived on steep slope, no wagon. D:

I thought it autodeconstructed and you got the logs in those cases.  No?  It just never spawns at all?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naglfar on October 03, 2014, 04:18:33 am
Sorry; I screwed up one of the symbols. I updated my post with the correct one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on October 03, 2014, 06:36:59 am
Quote from: Naglfar on October 03, 2014, 04:18:33 am
Sorry; I screwed up one of the symbols. I updated my post with the correct one.
For those of us who don't play with symbols, can you tell us what happened?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MobRules on October 03, 2014, 07:48:59 am
Quote from: Naglfar on October 03, 2014, 04:18:33 am
Sorry; I screwed up one of the symbols. I updated my post with the correct one.
Still looks exactly the same as last night from my end, still can't tell what's going on, other than that it seems to involve ghosts, a bolder, some water or sand, a yak, and something that's either a broken arrow or a body part.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Paaaad on October 03, 2014, 08:43:55 am
Dwarf killed a yak in a reanimating biome perhaps?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Max on October 03, 2014, 09:18:53 am
I think that's supposed to be a butchers shop, and the fun of having yak parts come to life and attack you.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naglfar on October 03, 2014, 09:31:15 am
Quote from: Max on October 03, 2014, 09:18:53 am
I think that's supposed to be a butchers shop, and the fun of having yak parts come to life and attack you.

You, sir, are a winner. *clap, clap, clap*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on October 03, 2014, 12:15:46 pm
Training up a new armorsmith.  Designated a melt pile next to his forge and turned off masterwork armor on it, create a keeper ple for masterworks elsewhere in the fort, and set him up creating a ton of copper greaves.

After while I designate the melt pile for reproceesing.

2 minutes later I get the message that a masterwork item has been lost.  Not sure what happened I check the pile.  That's when I notice that I'd only turned off artifact armor and not both artifact and masterwork.

A few minutes later my miserable armorsmith goes berserk and starts killing.   Tantrum spiral ensues.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SlyStalker on October 03, 2014, 08:51:20 pm
I sent a squad of 5 soldiers to hunt down a Giant Cave Spider wandering around in a cavern, and they killed it very handily, however another one of those monstrosities emerged out of the gloom, so off they went again. This time round, though, one fell off a staircase and broke his arms and legs, and the GCS took down three of the rest. A busy mechanic came down into the cavern for some stone, where she encountered the GCS. She killed it in two punches. *Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Paaaad on October 04, 2014, 02:43:34 pm
In Adventure Mode:

Dwarf Speardwarf: I yield! I yield!
Dwarf Speardwarf has bled to death.

Same guy, both messages on screen at the same time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on October 04, 2014, 02:44:15 pm
Quote from: Paaaad on October 04, 2014, 02:43:34 pm
In Adventure Mode:

Dwarf Speardwarf: I yield! I yield!
Dwarf Speardwarf has bled to death.

Same guy, both messages on screen at the same time.
He made his peace with his God(s)

Also, the log updates every time you move, not as it happens.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Paaaad on October 04, 2014, 02:55:03 pm
Quote from: pisskop on October 04, 2014, 02:44:15 pm
Quote from: Paaaad on October 04, 2014, 02:43:34 pm
In Adventure Mode:

Dwarf Speardwarf: I yield! I yield!
Dwarf Speardwarf has bled to death.

Same guy, both messages on screen at the same time.
He made his peace with his God(s)

Also, the log updates every time you move, not as it happens.

Except I was the reason he was bleeding out, and they were the only messages on the screen.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on October 04, 2014, 03:04:10 pm
You move approximately once every ten ticks, in the average unburdened character.  He said that stuff and died within about 10 clicks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqvNWga_qLk

LOL @ Samuel Jackson and Damien's despised mother.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on October 05, 2014, 11:21:00 am
Interestingly, the log in stonesense updates as it happens, rather than when the in game one does. I'm not sure if that counts as a bug or a feature.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on October 05, 2014, 03:18:10 pm
Quote from: Paaaad on October 04, 2014, 02:55:03 pm
Quote from: pisskop on October 04, 2014, 02:44:15 pm
Quote from: Paaaad on October 04, 2014, 02:43:34 pm
In Adventure Mode:

Dwarf Speardwarf: I yield! I yield!
Dwarf Speardwarf has bled to death.

Same guy, both messages on screen at the same time.
He made his peace with his God(s)

Also, the log updates every time you move, not as it happens.

Except I was the reason he was bleeding out, and they were the only messages on the screen.

so you were raff the sweetling. pray for mercy my child.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: khearn on October 07, 2014, 10:59:24 pm
I'm watching my mechanic slowly carry a rock across the fort instead of building the mechanisms I desperately need, when my view is suddenly yanked back up to the bedroom level, where my weaponsmith has been possessed.

Well, at least I can get a decent weapon out of it. I go to the stocks and forbid all of my bars except for steel. He takes over the forge and I wait for him to go grab a steel bar to make a great artifact.

He just sits there.

Huh?

Oh no, don't tell me...

I check his preferences... He likes aluminum. *facepalm*

I'm going to get an artifact aluminum weapon. And being a possession, that's all I'll get.

   Keith

Edit: Sosadnakas, "Ivoryenjoys", a[sic] aluminum spear. This is a aluminum spear. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality, It is studded with aluminum. This object menaces with spikes of rhyolite.

Not only is it a worthless waste of a mood, but it's also boring.

Lamest.

Artifact.

Evah.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thisfox on October 08, 2014, 05:47:19 am
Quote from: khearn on October 07, 2014, 10:59:24 pm
Not only is it a worthless waste of a mood, but it's also boring.

Lamest.

Artifact.

Evah.

No, the lamest artifact ever is a migrant soapmaker who arrived, possessed as soon as he could, and made me a leather amulet with cloth decorations, then remembered nothing.

Or the child who made a fabric bracelet. Great. I got a friendship-band-making kid. How is that artifact-worthy?

Plus someone I knew got not one, not two, but three goddamn crowns in the same fort. One of them was pretty spectacular though, menacing with spikes and bearing a picture of the latest enemy on it. But still... who needs artifact crowns?

...gods above, I wish dwarfs could wear some of the jewelry, honestly... It would be great to satisfy nobles in that way.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on October 08, 2014, 09:04:40 am
Ash* bracelet with carbachons of ash.  No engravings or depictions.  Worth 1200 urist.

*The wood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on October 08, 2014, 10:10:23 am
You know what is pretty tough for me in adventure mode, this new version?  Night Horrors ().  Have consistently killed me or forced me into retreat (usually with grievous wounds while it murders the last of my companions).

This one wrecked my companions after we stumbled upon its lair.  I fled before he even finished with them.  Maybe Ill save it the trouble of tracking me down and kill myself now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: khearn on October 08, 2014, 02:03:52 pm
But when a soaper or a child gets taken by a mood, you don't expect anything useful from it. You know it will be crap, so getting a cloth bracelet or leather amulet is no letdown. Sure it's lame, but you knew it was going to be lame.

When a weaponsmith gets a mood, even a possession, you expect to get something useful, especially if you have some steel bars lying around. When I saw that it was my weaponsmith who got a mood, I hoped to get an artifact steel battle axe and a legendary weaponsmith. Instead I ended up with a tin-foil spear and a weaponsmith who is still just "skilled". :-P

   Keith
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thisfox on October 08, 2014, 07:50:55 pm
I do imagine that the Soapmaker in question was a really annoying dwarf to migrate with. "Hey, I have this really amazing idea for an amulet... I keep dreaming of  of leather..."

...actually I guess not so much annoying as creepy. "You're not in what you might call a macabre state of mind, are you Urist? No? Gooood... Just checking. Chin up, mate, we'll get to the fort soon..."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Max on October 09, 2014, 11:49:12 am
Quote from: Naglfar on October 03, 2014, 09:31:15 am
Quote from: Max on October 03, 2014, 09:18:53 am
I think that's supposed to be a butchers shop, and the fun of having yak parts come to life and attack you.

You, sir, are a winner. *clap, clap, clap*
Hah, forgot I posted that.

Sadly I recognized it from having done this... once...

...and then again shortly after...

and then again after building cage traps but forgetting to build cages...

and then again in a new fort.

*sigh*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Parhelion on October 09, 2014, 03:34:13 pm
Quote from: Thisfox on October 08, 2014, 05:47:19 am
Quote from: khearn on October 07, 2014, 10:59:24 pm
Not only is it a worthless waste of a mood, but it's also boring.

Lamest.

Artifact.

Evah.

No, the lamest artifact ever is a migrant soapmaker who arrived, possessed as soon as he could, and made me a leather amulet with cloth decorations, then remembered nothing.

Or the child who made a fabric bracelet. Great. I got a friendship-band-making kid. How is that artifact-worthy?

Plus someone I knew got not one, not two, but three goddamn crowns in the same fort. One of them was pretty spectacular though, menacing with spikes and bearing a picture of the latest enemy on it. But still... who needs artifact crowns?

...gods above, I wish dwarfs could wear some of the jewelry, honestly... It would be great to satisfy nobles in that way.

Can't you at least force some dwarves to wear the crowns, though, by assigning it as equipment in military?

Yeah, yeah, I know 'steel helmets rule dawg', but I rather like the idea of my dwarves heroically storming out of the ground following their bone-crown-sporting Fearless Leader. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: k on October 09, 2014, 09:58:19 pm
Jewelry is not included in military equippment. However, if a dwarf comes with a crown, and he has a chest in bedroom, he may store it there.

Besides, the baroness in my current fort wears a green tourmaline flask, which can be considered as a kind of decorative jewelry.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Max on October 09, 2014, 10:09:22 pm
You can try forceequip i b m HD while you have the crown highlighted I think?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BirdBrainf4 on October 12, 2014, 02:07:42 am
So I was doing fine, had begun to set up my main workshops, and created a bridge access to my fort so that I could prevent sieges (got burned by a siege on the last fort really quickly, since I had not yet focused on a military).  Well, I was getting continual commands that my expedition leader was cancelling orders, so finally I take a look.  I realize that I have created his room's access on the other side of the bridge.  So...I dig out a part of the wall so I can get him access...but yeah, the goblins figure that out really fast.  Bye bye fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: k on October 12, 2014, 10:30:20 am
a) Elephants are born with tusk!
b) Kea is not only living in moutain or desert, but on shrubland as well! And I'm building an aboveground fort on savage shrubland!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on October 12, 2014, 11:12:39 am
Quote from: k on October 12, 2014, 10:30:20 am
a) Elephants are born with tusk!
b) Kea is not only living in moutain or desert, but on shrubland as well! And I'm building an aboveground fort on savage shrubland!

Yeah, I think the biome tags aren't entirely working.  I had Keas show up on a tundra.  They stole a masterwork butcket.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: k on October 13, 2014, 02:51:07 am
A keaman stole a minecart on route and crashed the game!

And there's no way that one should be defeated by keamen. I just embark on another temperature shrubland, with crossbows!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smjjames on October 13, 2014, 08:41:24 am
Quote from: k on October 13, 2014, 02:51:07 am
A keaman stole a minecart on route and crashed the game!

And there's no way that one should be defeated by keamen. I just embark on another temperature shrubland, with crossbows!

Wasn't that crash fixed by 40.13?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pyrefly on October 13, 2014, 11:44:48 am
My fort was complaining because despite the fact there were plump helmets EVERYWHERE and all of them could brew, they ended up drinking swamp water because they were too lazy. Then when I traded for wine, they left it outside until it all was stolen by kea men.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The Bard on October 13, 2014, 04:39:32 pm
Captured an entire herd of Elk birds. Forgot they were grazers. Left them in cages.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PillarsOfSalt on October 13, 2014, 11:56:11 pm
Quote from: The Bard on October 13, 2014, 04:39:32 pm
Captured an entire herd of Elk birds. Forgot they were grazers. Left them in cages.

Oh crap! I've got a pile of elk birds in cages right now, I guess I should let them out.
P.S. Do they lay eggs? Are they worth farming?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on October 14, 2014, 12:11:35 am
Quote from: PillarsOfSalt on October 13, 2014, 11:56:11 pm
Quote from: The Bard on October 13, 2014, 04:39:32 pm
Captured an entire herd of Elk birds. Forgot they were grazers. Left them in cages.

Oh crap! I've got a pile of elk birds in cages right now, I guess I should let them out.
P.S. Do they lay eggs? Are they worth farming?

Yes on both counts.   And, now that grazing has been changed, they actually stand a chance of surviving on the nest long enough to hatch eggs!

Probably.  Worth a try, anyway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: k on October 14, 2014, 06:20:47 am
Does wild elk bird claim nest box?

---
reply to smjjames:
Quote from: smjjames on October 13, 2014, 08:41:24 am
Wasn't that crash fixed by 40.13?

That's great! The game it crashed is a .34 one...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on October 14, 2014, 06:32:14 am
"Troglodyte has given birth to a [baby]."

And the next thing that shows up is a combat report where the loose baby throws itself off a towercap and is promptly torn asunder by the amphibian-people lurking in the water harassing the troglodytes. This happened twice in short succession.

Because
1 - non-fort mothers don't bother to pick up their children.
2 - the various species of cavern life seem to be hostile to each other now.

And then all nearby cavern-dwellers panic and get afraid of the death all around them (caused by their unconditional "no quarter" stance towards each other).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bralbaard on October 14, 2014, 02:17:20 pm
May have some spoilers.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on October 14, 2014, 02:34:47 pm
Quote from: k on October 14, 2014, 06:20:47 am
Does wild elk bird claim nest box?

I don't think they do, no.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: puke on October 14, 2014, 03:34:45 pm
Quote from: Tacomagic on October 14, 2014, 02:34:47 pm
Quote from: k on October 14, 2014, 06:20:47 am
Does wild elk bird claim nest box?

I don't think they do, no.

Ah, the good old days of Roc farming.  These followed very closely on the heels of the good old days of OH MY GOD WHY IS A FLOCK OF ROCS PATHING THROUGH MY FORTRESS?!?

All in all, I'm glad wild creatures don't claim nest boxes any longer.  It started out as Fun, but was too easy to exploit once you knew what to expect.

Though I do sort of wish there was a way to 'bait' creatures for large scale trapping purposes.  Short of exploiting pathing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on October 14, 2014, 03:36:39 pm
Baiting would make sense. Say, dragons were attracted to sheep. It wont pursue your dwarves, or path to your fortress, so long as a sheep is in p, say, a 30 square radius.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on October 14, 2014, 09:14:32 pm
*Banging head off table* I had a huge trap set up for the clowns, to cave-in them... Forgot I turned cave-ins off. So I turn it on. EVERY. SINGLE. LEVEL. OF. MY. FORTRESS. JUST. COLLAPSED. AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on October 15, 2014, 12:07:15 pm
Quote from: StagnantSoul on October 14, 2014, 09:14:32 pm
*Banging head off table* I had a huge trap set up for the clowns, to cave-in them... Forgot I turned cave-ins off. So I turn it on. EVERY. SINGLE. LEVEL. OF. MY. FORTRESS. JUST. COLLAPSED. AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!
Whats it look like now?  I am deathly curious.  Well, maybe not as dead as your fort :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Max on October 16, 2014, 01:29:58 pm
...I forgot magma doesn't pressurize like water does.

When clearing a hill next to my wagon I found a nearly perfect 4x5 block of obsidian running down through multiple layers was randomly left behind as my miners happened to dig around it, so I kept it and began smoothing/engraving it. Ended up digging down a good ways into the fort, about 10 z levels top to bottom, but it made things unbalanced, so I dfhacked another column of obsidian to repeat it with on the other side, but THAT one had revealed interior blocks by default so I used up/down stairs to clear it and get the engraving done.

Then I thought... hmmm, I accidentally flooded part of my fort through a well with something like this on a much smaller scale... *liquids, m(agma), range 2x3x9* pow, engraved columns filled with magma, ready to go. Got the release tunnels set up, opened it for a test firing... wah-wah-wah-waaaahhhhh. It just sinks to the lowest level it can reach. T.T

Not to be deterred, I whipped up a magma-safe pumpstack, reloaded everything and hooked up a four-wheel perpetual motion machine in the basement, opened it up, giggled with glee at the magma starting to pour out all around my magma safe statues and constructions... and then realized I just started a brush fire in a fairly hot dry biome with heavy trees... it eventually made it around the entire map before there was nothing left to burn.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I thought it would be amazing as an elf caravan popped up just as it neared their side of the map but they happened to stumble into a natural firebreak, so I lured them closer with unforbidden doors, slammed them shut to break their pathing AI, and laughed as they stood there and melted while I started another forest fire...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on October 18, 2014, 12:14:07 pm
I think my dwarves are climbing to build sites that I designated over magma, and slipping and falling in somehow.  :facepalm:  So now I cant even predesignate areas to build.

Also, I keep losing bunny rabbits and cavies to . . . something?  They just disappear.  I get the 'xx has been missing for over a week' and we never find the bodies.  Ever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gentlefish on October 18, 2014, 05:22:51 pm
Wonder, speaking of nestboxes, if The Toad has plans to let wild birds use tree twig tiles/pebble tiles as wild next boxes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Max on October 18, 2014, 09:07:30 pm
Are the cavies/bunnies in cages? I had to start checking to see what I could pasture after I dispose of some elves since grazers starve to death in there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on October 18, 2014, 09:38:02 pm
No they  werent, not this time.  due to my fort layout I left all my grazers topside.  we have no water in our cavern, so . . . i suspect they get chased away from  my dwarves and mauled by the rather savage/evil wildlife (as proven by the presence of trolls/cave ogres)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: k on October 19, 2014, 09:27:03 am
I thought the lion tamarin i got from elves would be larger than they actually are.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on October 19, 2014, 09:31:00 am
Quote from: k on October 19, 2014, 09:27:03 am
I thought the lion tamarin i got from elves would be larger than they actually are.

Hah! Yeah, despite the fierce name, they're less than a foot long.  Most tamarins are about the size of a gray squirrel; many are way smaller.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dark One on October 19, 2014, 11:14:03 am
I've genned a new world by using advanced world generation to get evil badlands embark, also raised embark points a little.

First Facepalm
How could you embark without plump helmets?
I'll send you to gather some plants if anything can grow here.

Second Facepalm
Ignored undead great horned owl and clouds of vile dust. My untrained woodcutter took it down, but it was reanimating biome, so hair of butchered horse killed everyone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on October 20, 2014, 02:35:39 am
Quote from: Pufferfish on October 18, 2014, 05:22:51 pm
Wonder, speaking of nestboxes, if The Toad has plans to let wild birds use tree twig tiles/pebble tiles as wild next boxes.
There will be face palms when unhatched eggs start maiming woodcutters.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MobRules on October 20, 2014, 09:33:49 pm
I had a moody dwarf with demands I couldn't meet, so I walled him in, just in case the caravan didn't get there in time. It didn't, and he went full-on bezerk. Good thing I built that wall!

I went to focus on other things, and started getting cancelation spam: "Interupted by mason", "experiencing emotional shock", etc. Went to check -- how did he get out?

Well, looks like that wall I built so carefully around the workshop overlapped a stairway on one corner -- so I guess he was able to path out diagonally. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Henny on October 21, 2014, 10:01:09 am
(https://i.imgur.com/wjbUPgQ.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/3CgmvXQ.jpg)

My decision to not embark with any weapons had... mixed results.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Astrid on October 21, 2014, 12:18:41 pm
I had the same embark result little over a hour ago. Embarked right beside a river and my hoppleheads got insta pastered across the floors by the local alligators. xD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MobRules on October 25, 2014, 01:46:53 pm
On the first fortress that lasted long enough for me to get a noble (a mayor), the first demand given to me by the first mayor to take office was for an... aluminium bed to be brought to his bedroom.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on October 25, 2014, 02:45:36 pm
Accidentally drowned two dwarves in my cistern before I realized it only needed to be two z levels deep and one square wide for my well to draw from it...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on October 25, 2014, 03:39:54 pm
Quote from: Pufferfish on October 18, 2014, 05:22:51 pm
Wonder, speaking of nestboxes, if The Toad has plans to let wild birds use tree twig tiles/pebble tiles as wild next boxes.

wild next boxes

wild next boxes

wild next boxes

you mean ... nests?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on October 25, 2014, 03:41:01 pm
Quote from: Ozarck on October 25, 2014, 03:39:54 pm
Quote from: Pufferfish on October 18, 2014, 05:22:51 pm
Wonder, speaking of nestboxes, if The Toad has plans to let wild birds use tree twig tiles/pebble tiles as wild next boxes.

wild next boxes

wild next boxes

wild next boxes

you mean ... nests?
I believe the proper term for them is 'grown nest box' :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Baffler on October 25, 2014, 10:34:16 pm
The end of the second year of Hallbeards, and not a single migrant has arrived. No message, just nothing. The first year I thought "Maybe they just didn't come in autumn because I arrived in early autumn, and they don't arrive in the winter, do they?" By spring, I was expecting an extra large migrant wave due to the wealth the starting seven had generated, but still nobody came. Summer came and went as well, and only the human caravan came to Hallbeards. By autumn, I was starting to worry. On a whim, I looked at d_init, and saw that...

I hadn't set my population cap back up from 4, from my last fort. In that time, the carpenter and mason had built a small town between them, and the miner had excavated an entire magnetite cluster, most of which was turned into gear for the two soldiers I took along, and the squads they will be in command of. I set the cap back up after smashing my desk with my forehead, and Hallbeards is looking forward to lots and lots of migrants, come spring.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kuikka on October 26, 2014, 08:24:31 am
Reclaiming Rivertrapped, human town. Day one, dangerous water animals. Sea lamprey dragged my armoured axeman from a bridge into depths. It also harassed carps and pikes and otters like a boss, until my liaison Innu (the grandson of current Empress) came, jumped into the moat and killed the beast... and then he went to conduct a meeting like nothing special happened.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: taptap on October 27, 2014, 09:56:40 am
I dropped a "bridge" (few floor tiles) into cavern lake instead of deconstructing them one by one - forgetting that I was already preparing drainage right below - now I have a flooded underground construction site.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on October 27, 2014, 10:59:21 am
Play the game for several years, just now realize that starting with 7 dwarves is a Snow White reference.

*Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on October 27, 2014, 03:14:25 pm
Quote from: Tacomagic on October 27, 2014, 10:59:21 am
Play the game for several years, just now realize that starting with 7 dwarves is a Snow White reference.

*Facepalm*
If it is, I'm standing there facepalming too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ancalagon_TB on October 27, 2014, 08:43:49 pm
I realized the Snow White reference last week and thought it was hilarious - and yeah, was groaning a bit for not getting it right away.

Mine:  I pierced the first and second layer of the cavern at almost the same time.  I walled in the tunnel leading to the stairwell going to the second level - one level is enough mkay?

... several months later, I get a warning that one of my dwarves is throwing a tantrum.  Why?  My fort is well stocked and comfortable, but he's apparently eating vermin, sleeping in the mud etc... Turns out he walled himself out, and then had to go down to the second cavern level to survive.  Somehow made it for a long time too, no monsters etc got him.  When we freed the mason, he rand upstairs, started dozens of fist fights, smashed things for a while and... well now he's over it it seems.  Next time I'll build a floor instead of a wall!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: the1337doofus on October 27, 2014, 10:06:25 pm
I decided to embark on an ocean, and, of course, an aquifer. I spent at least 200 points on screw pump components.

Then I found out that apparently there was no aquifer. So when I could have packed extra food/picks/etc, I wasted it on unnecessary stuff.

*facepalm*
*facepalm*
*facepalm*
the1337doofus has been struck down.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eisenritter on October 28, 2014, 12:14:09 am
Quote from: Tacomagic on October 27, 2014, 10:59:21 am
Play the game for several years, just now realize that starting with 7 dwarves is a Snow White reference.

*Facepalm*

You mean it's not The Lord of the Rings?  :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ancalagon_TB on October 28, 2014, 12:32:35 am
Quote from: Eisenritter on October 28, 2014, 12:14:09 am
Quote from: Tacomagic on October 27, 2014, 10:59:21 am
Play the game for several years, just now realize that starting with 7 dwarves is a Snow White reference.

*Facepalm*

You mean it's not The Lord of the Rings?  :(

That would be 13 dwarves wouldn't it be?  Bilbo made it 14, so not unlucky
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: warwizard on October 28, 2014, 08:01:01 am
Oh Dear I'm afraid I'm going to get to see what passes for a tantrum in 40.14 shortly:
'22' Etostetur, Dwarven Baby Deceased  crushed by a falling marble boulder.
Momma was patched up and grabbed her other 4 babies and continued working...
we are trying to pierce an aquifer and went to install a wall in flowing water, momma has carpentry labor enabled and shortly:
'19' Konostirist, Dwarven Baby Deceased  Drowned
'18' Idashustuth, Dwarven Baby Deceased  Drowned
'17' Uristimush, Dwarven Baby Deceased  Drowned

Momma is afraid from trauma, has three horrifieds from watching her babies drown and is drowing herself, so we may not see the tantrum from her...
her 5th baby is in 7/7 water the next tile over, so we have another horrified coming shortly.
The expedition leader is also there with the baby, so we may be seeing a bit of a problem soon, though not from daddy quite yet 12 blue words , 6 green ones and one red one from 19's death, so 4 more dead babies and possibly a dead spouse may take him from happy to miserable in short order.

The moral of the story turn off the masonry/carpentry skills on the momma carrying babies before asking dwarves to build walls in rushing water.

The name of the fort: Submergedbolts

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bearskie on October 28, 2014, 10:44:00 am
Just unleashed my dragonfire trap on a goblin siege.  Which had the unfortunate side effect of melting my 3 supposedly dragonfire-proof dolomite bridge controlling the trap.  Im guessing the reason here is that continuous dragonfire is just too much for any sort of material :/

Luckily my 4th bridge is okay though, because it's the only thing between the dragon and a fort full of drunken dwarves atm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: morlicar on October 28, 2014, 12:11:19 pm
Quote from: Ancalagon_TB on October 28, 2014, 12:32:35 am
Quote from: Eisenritter on October 28, 2014, 12:14:09 am
Quote from: Tacomagic on October 27, 2014, 10:59:21 am
Play the game for several years, just now realize that starting with 7 dwarves is a Snow White reference.

*Facepalm*

You mean it's not The Lord of the Rings?  :(

That would be 13 dwarves wouldn't it be?  Bilbo made it 14, so not unlucky

LOTR: there were 7 dwarf kings decended from the 7 Fathers that Aule created and Eru adopted.  It come into play in the Sauron's final spell over the One Ring
3 rings for the elven kings under the sky
7 for the dwarf lords in their halls of stone
9 for the mortal men doomed to die
1 for the dark lord on his dark throne
in the land of Mordor where the shadows lie
One ring to rule them all
One ring to find them
One ring to bring them all
and in the darkness bind them
In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.

(Poem by memory, so could have some details off)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The Bard on October 28, 2014, 04:33:29 pm
40.14 tantrum: it was inevitable.

Legendary Weaver went nuts, smashed her loom, then ran to the other side of the fort to punch a random woodworker in the guy 'til she threw up.

Said weaver is from an entire family of jerks who all miss this one nephew they left behind and NOTHING seems to cancel missing him out. This one alone has a screen full of blissful thoughts and she still went ballistic over her stupid jerk nephew. If I ever get him in a migrant wave, I'm going to burrow him on a platform above out caldera, surrounded by cage traps for Magma crab capture duty.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chimerat on October 28, 2014, 05:08:50 pm
Quote from: The Bard on October 28, 2014, 04:33:29 pm
If I ever get him in a migrant wave, I'm going to burrow him on a platform above out caldera, surrounded by cage traps for Magma crab capture duty.
Well... It's nice he has job security! :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: utunnels on October 28, 2014, 09:14:36 pm
Quote from: The Bard on October 28, 2014, 04:33:29 pm
40.14 tantrum: it was inevitable.

Legendary Weaver went nuts, smashed her loom, then ran to the other side of the fort to punch a random woodworker in the guy 'til she threw up.

Said weaver is from an entire family of jerks who all miss this one nephew they left behind and NOTHING seems to cancel missing him out. This one alone has a screen full of blissful thoughts and she still went ballistic over her stupid jerk nephew. If I ever get him in a migrant wave, I'm going to burrow him on a platform above out caldera, surrounded by cage traps for Magma crab capture duty.

I wonder if it is possible to have that nephew in next migrant wave, by chance.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: The Bard on October 28, 2014, 10:34:00 pm
He wasn't in the next wave BUT MORE OF HIS FAMILY WAS! >_<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zarathustra30 on October 28, 2014, 11:04:07 pm
I embarked on top of a congregation of alligators. Six of my dwarves (somehow) immediately jumped into action kicking the thing into submission. Including the miner with the big pointy pick. My dwarves have now passed out because the stupid miner can't perform a simple lobotomy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on October 28, 2014, 11:06:33 pm
Was using a bunch of dogs as bait for a cave in trap, in cages hooked up to a lever, with them near a support for the cave in. Pull the lever, AAAAAAAND, it's the same lever for the cave in trap's support. Mrde.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on October 29, 2014, 01:47:08 am
Quote from: morlicar on October 28, 2014, 12:11:19 pm
Quote from: Ancalagon_TB on October 28, 2014, 12:32:35 am
Quote from: Eisenritter on October 28, 2014, 12:14:09 am
Quote from: Tacomagic on October 27, 2014, 10:59:21 am
Play the game for several years, just now realize that starting with 7 dwarves is a Snow White reference.

*Facepalm*

You mean it's not The Lord of the Rings?  :(

That would be 13 dwarves wouldn't it be?  Bilbo made it 14, so not unlucky

LOTR: there were 7 dwarf kings decended from the 7 Fathers that Aule created and Eru adopted.  It come into play in the Sauron's final spell over the One Ring
[...]

[ nitpick ]
The 7 dwarves would be more of a Silmarillion reference actually. However, having seven of something is quite "natural", in many fairy tales we encouter the seven. Seven sisters / ravens / dead flies / dwarves / ...
The 13 dorfs would be in "The Hobbit", which is not LOTR, but related.
[/ nitpick ]

I opened my gates to a zombie siege, 'cause I was bored and had screwed up food supplies, so most dorfs were "hunting for vermin". I actually managed to secure one (who was not hungry nor miserable at that moment) in a cave where he collected some plans and started farming again. The zombies depart after slaughtering all others. Migrants arrive and I let them in. Then a forgotten beast comes and eats all of them. Admittedly, that is normal DF...
Actual Facepalm: I had the migrant group securely outside (well, unitl the next zombie siege), where they were farming and even started digging a new fort.

I might try and reclaim - or just get the newest version and gen a new world...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Insert_Gnome_Here on October 29, 2014, 03:37:33 pm
Mandatory XKCD Link
http://xkcd.com/1417/
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on October 29, 2014, 10:26:52 pm
Quote from: Bearskie on October 28, 2014, 10:44:00 am
Just unleashed my dragonfire trap on a goblin siege.  Which had the unfortunate side effect of melting my 3 supposedly dragonfire-proof dolomite bridge controlling the trap.  Im guessing the reason here is that continuous dragonfire is just too much for any sort of material :/

Luckily my 4th bridge is okay though, because it's the only thing between the dragon and a fort full of drunken dwarves atm.
Dolomite is magma-safe, not dragonfire-safe. Any metal is generally dragonfire safe, unless the dragonfire ignites a nearby object which heats the metal sufficiently before burning away. (I.e., don't use tin.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cryxis, Prince of Doom on October 30, 2014, 09:58:17 pm
My professional hammer an and his group of two bowmen two axe men and one lasher were all killed by a zombie mountain goat
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on October 30, 2014, 10:05:45 pm
Well, a goblin walked through a weapon trap. 6 large serrated disks. Cut off all his toes and fingers except a fifth and third finger. Seriously? It targeted toes!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bearskie on October 31, 2014, 05:29:45 am
Just found out that you can designate digs across multiple z-levels.

*Face. Bloody. Palm*

This reminds me of when I first discovered z-levels in the first place....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kuikka on October 31, 2014, 06:58:07 am
My site is rich of bituminous coal and gypsum.

Too bad that I play humans, who, apparently, dont know how to use these two materials!

Too bad because that's all my site has. It said it has close-to-surface-metals, but I only find gypsum and bituminous coal.

I dont have too many metal items and my soldiers have to fight soviet recruit style, one has a weapon and another waits that he dies... And my best equipped warrior with mail armour and metal helmet went into prison (she killed four guys while tantruming) and then berserked, meaning I can't get his stuff back without her killing rest of my wannabe-soldiers. Psst, is there a way to get her gear without releasing & killing her?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: warwizard on October 31, 2014, 10:10:52 am
If she is in a cage just mark the cage and it's contents to be dumped d-b-d click on the cage or draw a box around it. Then go to the look command (k) show the cage and remove the dump from the cage. Your Humans will come and strip her nekkid, and have a great time doing it. She then can be released, if you are lucky she will not brain punch everybody before somebody with a weapon manages to kill her. Pitting her in a smothed natural wall pit, on on a 10z drop works fine as well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thomasasia on October 31, 2014, 01:35:33 pm
Before i had figured out how to make an execution drop shaft, i tried to drop 20+ goblins down a 7-ish z shaft. The first few were taken out by the traps. The rest scared my peasents and mauled a now orphaned kitten, until my malita finaly killed them. With lots of causualties of course.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: G3Kappa on November 01, 2014, 08:03:25 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

... And this is me forgetting that drawbridges, unlike floodgates, are lowered upon being built. All while a Weremonitor decides to attack my new fort as soon as the first caravan leaves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Foxite on November 01, 2014, 09:39:04 am
Quote from: Kuikka on October 31, 2014, 06:58:07 am
My site is rich of bituminous coal and gypsum.

Too bad that I play humans, who, apparently, dont know how to use these two materials!

Too bad because that's all my site has. It said it has close-to-surface-metals, but I only find gypsum and bituminous coal.

I dont have too many metal items and my soldiers have to fight soviet recruit style, one has a weapon and another waits that he dies... And my best equipped warrior with mail armour and metal helmet went into prison (she killed four guys while tantruming) and then berserked, meaning I can't get his stuff back without her killing rest of my wannabe-soldiers. Psst, is there a way to get her gear without releasing & killing her?
Use charcoal instead of coal and splints instead of gypsum. Splints are easier to get than casts anyway :P

(btw, I noticed how the post count in this thread is approaching 9000. XD )
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on November 01, 2014, 11:16:05 am
Quote from: latias1290 on November 01, 2014, 09:39:04 am
Quote from: Kuikka on October 31, 2014, 06:58:07 am
My site is rich of bituminous coal and gypsum.

Too bad that I play humans, who, apparently, dont know how to use these two materials!

Too bad because that's all my site has. It said it has close-to-surface-metals, but I only find gypsum and bituminous coal.

I dont have too many metal items and my soldiers have to fight soviet recruit style, one has a weapon and another waits that he dies... And my best equipped warrior with mail armour and metal helmet went into prison (she killed four guys while tantruming) and then berserked, meaning I can't get his stuff back without her killing rest of my wannabe-soldiers. Psst, is there a way to get her gear without releasing & killing her?
Use charcoal instead of coal and splints instead of gypsum. Splints are easier to get than casts anyway :P

(btw, I noticed how the post count in this thread is approaching 9000. XD )
That doesn't sound like incredibly helpful advice for a guy that has both of the resources, I've never played as humans so I don't know what the limitations are, but if you want to find metals, you could always mine out the entire z layer until you find the ore... or at least dig corridors going to the map edges to see if you strike anything...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cryxis, Prince of Doom on November 01, 2014, 11:37:11 am
Was watching Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring and couldn't stop thinking that the mines of Moria were a dwarf fortress from Dwarf Fortress.
Small hard to get into entrance, forgotten beast, Titan, magma, they dug too deep and hit the !!FUN!! Layer, and of course- dwarves
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on November 01, 2014, 04:47:15 pm
Just realized my outdoor troglodyte mincing trap was leaving body parts in the trees around it... now renaming the area "bone orchard" for the lulz
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on November 01, 2014, 04:49:04 pm
I love to carve fortifications into a pathway and let all the passersby gaze at the glory that is the boneway.  Once it gets into the fortification, it isnt coming out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheDarkStar on November 01, 2014, 10:23:16 pm
We finally passed the 9th set of one thousand facepalms. The next one with bring us to...

...wait for it...

OVER NINE THOUSAND!

As for a facepalm, I forgot a roof in an evil biome with clouds. There is now a zombie ox with at least 14 and possibly up to 22 kills from two reclaim attempts living in my fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: G3Kappa on November 02, 2014, 06:30:59 am
9001 GET!  :D

I will now proceed to segregate my best engravers to forever commemorate this moment in the history of BayTwelve.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on November 02, 2014, 12:41:03 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/ntHfBbD.png)
:o

---

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

My worlds may be too fierce for either goblins or their demon masters :|
There were 5.  three are dead, one is in human prison, and one more is still in control of his civ.  The year is only 160
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Col_Jessep on November 03, 2014, 09:47:33 am
Part of my trading routine is to sell the keas that came to steal my stuff to the next caravan. Went great for a decade. I set up an animal stockpile and used DFhack's autotrade to haul them to the depot. Undead and gobbos are filtered to avoid mishaps.

Then I put down a couple of cage traps in cavern layer 3 and forgot about my automated setup. 2 Blind cave ogres on the loose in my main staircase! *facedesk*

Thankfully my glassmaker was close by and had a bronze pick, an iron helm, some leather armor and enough discipline to stand and fight while my military was on it's way. A few cuts and bruises but nothing serious. Sticking everybody into the militia with basic armor and a pick had really payed off so far! It's a pain to set up but it but the best thing is that only 20 dwarfs require new clothes which really helps with the clutter. Over a decade and I'm still getting 40-50FPS. =D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Glimmer on November 04, 2014, 12:04:42 pm
Probably nothing too special, but for someone who knows how to sustain a fortress, but has no idea how to defend one outside raising a bridge and leaving every dwarf left outside to his fate, i thought that building a long, twisted hallway full of cage traps would be enough to fend off a goblin siege.

Needless to say it turned into a meatgrinder for my poor dwarves and the goblins had a giggle shooting them while they probably either tried to load the remaining traps of collect that one goblin who got catched and probably also blocked the way for the other goblins to move up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ptb_ptb on November 04, 2014, 03:00:13 pm
Things I found out today:
- Lava goes 'splash' when you drop stuff into it.
- Lava aqueducts should be built out of walls, not floors.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zarathustra30 on November 05, 2014, 12:09:52 am
I didn't realize that you had to provide CHARITY to get a noble appointed.

And then I got the king.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 46852 on November 05, 2014, 05:24:40 am
I ran into Robin the Goblin Crossbowman and His Merry Men.

What happened was that right after I've hit "e" to embark, a fight begins. This wasn't a reclaim, just a standard embark. There was goblin crossbowman, a hammerdwarf and a human swordsman that were apparently co-operating in a very deadly way, and proceeded to promptly slaughter five out of my starting seven. I guess the two survivors were the ones who were quick enough to outrun the bandits (for a while). After the last two brave dwarven colonists got too exhausted, the jolly crossbowgobling finished them up from distance.

That was the most instantenous !!!FUN!!! I've ever had in DF, but admittedly there was a moment of facepalming after the gory events :)

PS. Has anyone else ran into these bandit groups on embark, or whatever they were?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: katwithk on November 05, 2014, 12:38:08 pm
Quote from: Glimmer on November 04, 2014, 12:04:42 pm
Probably nothing too special, but for someone who knows how to sustain a fortress, but has no idea how to defend one outside raising a bridge and leaving every dwarf left outside to his fate, i thought that building a long, twisted hallway full of cage traps would be enough to fend off a goblin siege.

Needless to say it turned into a meatgrinder for my poor dwarves and the goblins had a giggle shooting them while they probably either tried to load the remaining traps of collect that one goblin who got catched and probably also blocked the way for the other goblins to move up.

Three words

Giant. Saw. Blades.

They're seriously the easiest and most effective anti-goblin trap (used in weapon traps) as long as you have a metal (or glass) industry.

Personally I have an absurdly complicated weight-differential based magma chamber design I usually implement, but I have a fetish for volcanoes, and try to use magma to solve all my problems.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on November 05, 2014, 12:55:32 pm
Quote from: ptb_ptb on November 04, 2014, 03:00:13 pm
Things I found out today:
- Lava goes 'splash' when you drop stuff into it.
- Lava aqueducts should be built out of walls, not floors.

Ahh yes, that first time you have something punch a hole in your lava aquaduct is magical.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kuikka on November 06, 2014, 02:12:30 pm
Soldier was doing fine in battle, despite having a leg injury and being forced to walk with crutch... and when I looked the combat log, it was the crutch she used to mangle goblins... Nah, I just gave her metal gear and weapon only to make him slower and less op.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: florxnog on November 07, 2014, 09:24:43 am
I was experimenting with cave-in physics and, well. Two dead miners.

I was attempting to excavate a sun-lit dining room, but messed up some of my designations. More dead dwarves.

Digging is hard guys.   ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on November 07, 2014, 03:05:26 pm
Quote from: florxnog on November 07, 2014, 09:24:43 am
I was experimenting with cave-in physics and, well. Two dead miners.

I was attempting to excavate a sun-lit dining room, but messed up some of my designations. More dead dwarves.

Digging is hard guys.   ::)
Does Toady have plans to reinstate room collapses if they are too big/poorly designed?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Col_Jessep on November 07, 2014, 06:47:14 pm
You mean like a 50x100x3 tree farm with no supports for the roof? =D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: utunnels on November 08, 2014, 12:19:02 am
I trapped some goblins in a passage. In order to have some fun, I told my miners to dug some channels on the floor above them.

Then I stationed a squad of 4-5 elite marksdwarves near the channels and they began firing on a goblin hammerman immediately.
I thought he would fall quickly but he didn't. The bolts, despite being masterworks, were all made out of bones. I saw the squad went back to fetch ammos several times until finally the goblin bleed to death.

It must feel like being shot to death by a peashooter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on November 08, 2014, 12:27:29 am
Quote from: utunnels on November 08, 2014, 12:19:02 am
It must feel like being shot to death by a peashooter.
At least it isn't a spoon... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VDvgL58h_Y)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Col_Jessep on November 08, 2014, 05:00:40 am
Think about all that free XP for your marksdwarfs! =3
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on November 08, 2014, 10:43:16 pm
Decided to play my old versions of DF, just for fun. 34.1. Started playing, it was great. Then BAAAAAAAM!!! Dozens upon dozens of giant mosquitos.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smeeprocket on November 09, 2014, 08:07:43 pm
 I'm experimenting with mine tracks currently.

I have a track that goes to the top of a cauldron of a volcano because around that area is a lot of hematite and dragging it back from the top of the volcano was slooow.

I didn't look at the help files on it, and I'm still trying to figure this particular track out.

My first run through, I had the dwarf riding the cart. He jumps in, and rides north to the first ramp, and then the cart careens back down south to the track stop.

I decided to let him keep doing that while I played with the track, because it was pretty cute.

Only, as one of the dwarves was deconstructing the stop at the ramp, he did it again, smashing into the poor dwarf, who was badly injured. Then ANOTHER dwarf came up to finish the same job, because the first dwarf was unconscious. At this point I was scrambling to figure out how to stop this repeated process through trial and error. Once again the dwarf on the cart rolled down the ramp at high speed, injuring the replacement dwarf, smashing his rib and tearing his lung.

Unfortunately, I figured out how to make him stop and had to, since otherwise, fixing the track would be impossible. But I think it would have been worth a few more injuries and/or deaths for entertainment.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thisfox on November 10, 2014, 01:32:12 am
Quote from: StagnantSoul on November 08, 2014, 10:43:16 pm
Decided to play my old versions of DF, just for fun. 34.1. Started playing, it was great. Then BAAAAAAAM!!! Dozens upon dozens of giant mosquitos.

They're terrible things.

I like to think the merchant caravans once got attacked by them on the way to my fort, offmap. The caravan didn't have much for sale, and they were selling every different type of prepared giant mosquito, including meat, brains and eyes. I bought it all from them (how often do dorfs get to eat giant insects? Well, unless they get a chance to keep Giant Thrips as farm animals I guess...). I felt a bit sorry for them. There they were driving their caravan to my out of the way location, and they got attacked on the way by giant flying things! Least I could do is give them some wooden shields and bronze swords for the food they were offering. Might help them get back in one piece...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kuikka on November 10, 2014, 04:31:14 pm
Siege sigh. I keep losing crossbowmen as they love to climb over (or through?) fortifications and jump in the middle of goblin horde.

I have a f****n roof over the battlement so I thought it would be impossible to get out, so I gotta give them some points. They really, really try their hardest now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: utunnels on November 11, 2014, 01:19:47 am
Never had that issue. How can they climb through/over fortification? :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dule333 on November 11, 2014, 03:22:15 am
Well, my first fortress had one huge facepalm (yesterday):
1. I didn't gather plants
            *facepalm*
2. I didn't brew alcohol
            *facepalm*
3. Winter came, the river two tiles next to me froze, and I didn't have any drinks :(
Urist McMiner was found dead.
Urist McMason was found dead.
                  .
                  .
                  .
Urist McSoldier was found dead.
The last one died 7 days before spring.
*facedesk*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: danmanthedog on November 11, 2014, 11:51:22 am
Dug down for cavern and my stairway open onto a towercap and since my military is kinda disabled from a werepangolin, I decided to build a few walls on the towercap. Cue it collapsing, the builds came out of it with a heart mangled and a broken toe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thisfox on November 12, 2014, 04:47:19 pm
A positive facepalm for once:

Our manager got suddenly elevated to Baroness (She's the fourth so far, I think something is going on back home, but no liason as yet) and I panicked getting an appropriate office and dining room ready for her with the rest of the nobles.... Then noticed she already had both, as I'd moved her into the spacious Managers Quarters when she became a manager a year ago.
I'm keeping her nobles quarters for the next dwarf to inherit a title.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dth1 on November 12, 2014, 06:20:33 pm
I started to play couple of days ago, after about a year of my absence in the game. Created small fort, started metal industry, clothing, food was fine, I even started dropping caught enemies to the pits and then finishing them off with my military. I was distracted during designing terrain to pump some water closer to my fort, and then the Megabeast appeared. Quite soon I think, and I wasn't aware of all the combat mechanics changes... What went wrong?
1. I forgot about defence from below, so I had one big tunnel going all the way down to the place where megabeast spawned. I had only a couple of doors on the lowest level,
2. so I decided to send one squad of military that was equiped with iron and copper armors and weapons. My idea was simple: I'll try to keep it as far from fort as possible and the collapse the stairs...
3. of course I wasn't aware about new climbing mechanics, so I designated removing stairs and tried to build a wall on it.
Plan wasn't that bad if everything would go nicely. But it didn't. My militia squad was destroyed almost instantly(8 died, 2 run away), so they didn't buy me enough time to finish my sad backup plan. My first designation was too close to the beast, so I had to cancel it and destroy stairs somewhere closer. In act of despair I decided to remove stairs just below 3rd level of fort. That went quite nice, some of my dwarfs were too slow and they stayed down, slaughtered one by one. I thought that it will be over, because I destroyed only entrance to my fort... but I didn't know that megabeast will actually climb up one level above. Yeah, that was really sad. Beast entered my fort and started madness, and suddenly all cries stopped. Stoneworker killed it by scratching it's head and bruising the brain... that was lucky ending:)
I lost around 30 dwarfs and everyone is terrified, so we'll see what's next :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on November 12, 2014, 08:42:42 pm
Quote from: dth1 on November 12, 2014, 06:20:33 pm
I started to play couple of days ago, after about a year of my absence in the game. Created small fort, started metal industry, clothing, food was fine, I even started dropping caught enemies to the pits and then finishing them off with my military. I was distracted during designing terrain to pump some water closer to my fort, and then the Megabeast appeared. Quite soon I think, and I wasn't aware of all the combat mechanics changes... What went wrong?
1. I forgot about defence from below, so I had one big tunnel going all the way down to the place where megabeast spawned. I had only a couple of doors on the lowest level,
2. so I decided to send one squad of military that was equiped with iron and copper armors and weapons. My idea was simple: I'll try to keep it as far from fort as possible and the collapse the stairs...
3. of course I wasn't aware about new climbing mechanics, so I designated removing stairs and tried to build a wall on it.
Plan wasn't that bad if everything would go nicely. But it didn't. My militia squad was destroyed almost instantly(8 died, 2 run away), so they didn't buy me enough time to finish my sad backup plan. My first designation was too close to the beast, so I had to cancel it and destroy stairs somewhere closer. In act of despair I decided to remove stairs just below 3rd level of fort. That went quite nice, some of my dwarfs were too slow and they stayed down, slaughtered one by one. I thought that it will be over, because I destroyed only entrance to my fort... but I didn't know that megabeast will actually climb up one level above. Yeah, that was really sad. Beast entered my fort and started madness, and suddenly all cries stopped. Stoneworker killed it by scratching it's head and bruising the brain... that was lucky ending:)
I lost around 30 dwarfs and everyone is terrified, so we'll see what's next :D
Ah yes, the lovely first FB encounter. It's doubly fun if you didn't build any coffins and have to start hastily constructing your crypts to keep the bodies from rotting in the middle of the fortress
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on November 14, 2014, 02:30:05 am
... when I realised you can assign tombs to dead dwarves to avoid building a ton of coffins that will be kept reserved for the dorfs idiots heroes that lie dead outside while the siege is still around, and meanwhile the dead in the hospital rot and spread miasma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Boogie Do Boom on November 16, 2014, 10:13:42 am
I've dug a channel and build a pump for irrigation. well... some dwarves have drowned and after 2 new fortress I've don't know why. (Mental note: after channeling, always build a grate)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on November 16, 2014, 03:15:45 pm
Just realized why my goblins dont make their towers in the 40.xx version.  I didnt re-give them their gods (also they keep getting their asses kicked by elves, and then dogpiled).  God of death, why are you the exclusive purveyor of secrets?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: utunnels on November 18, 2014, 02:36:27 am
My dorfs spent months buiding a very big bridge/smasher outside. The job was difficult because the stones were in bad positions. Before I figured that out, months had passed so I just let them finish the job.

Shortly after the bridge was finished, a goblin werezebra came. I ordered my dorfs inside and raised the main bridge, just in time(almost crashed the last dorf). The werezebra changed its direction immediately and walked into my trapped maze. My dorf pull the lever, hoping to trap the beast, but the new bridge just disappeared! Then I realized they spent months building a retracting bridge...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Huntthetroll on November 21, 2014, 01:19:38 pm
New poster here, first time playing DF.  I built my jail above the rest of my fortress, just below ground at the top of a hill, with the goal of digging a channel to a nearby murky pool that I could use to flood the cells and drown repeat offenders (I was and still am having a plague of tantruming dwarves).  After looking at the wiki, I decided to use a drawbridge to control the water flow and a pump to clear out the jail after it had been flooded.  I linked the bridge to a lever placed next to the jail door.

Months passed and finally one Tulon Fikodshetbeth, a whiny Fisherdwarf responsible for killing multiple innocent dwarves and pets in his petulant rages, was in jail by himself (for disorderly conduct; apparently dwarves don't have punishments for murder), so I jumped at the chance to rid myself of this loser.  I instructed the dwarves to dig a channel from the pool right up to the bridge and underneath the exit spout of the pump, so that I could refill the pool with the water that would be pumped out of the jail.  To my shock and horror, the water flowed right over the bridge and into the cells, even though the lever was in the on position and the bridge closed.  To my disappointment and frustration, the water was not deep enough to drown Tulon, but deep enough that I could not rebuild the bridge.  It did kill all the plump helmets, cave wheat etc. that I had let sprout everywhere in the cells so that I wouldn't have to worry about feeding the prisoners.

I spent in-game months trying to figure out what happened.  Had the water flowed through a patch of roots next to the bridge?  Had the "on" position of the lever been set to correspond to opening the bridge?  The question vexed me, and so did the extra work of digging a channel down the hillside to drain out the flooded jail, since the pump would be useless if the bridge couldn't stop water from flowing back into the jail after it had been pumped out.  It finally hit me when I was working on something completely different:  I forgot to specify a raising direction when I built the bridge.  Pulling the lever just caused the bridge to retract.  I'm dumb.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smeeprocket on November 21, 2014, 01:37:51 pm
hehe that mistake has cost me several fortresses. I didn't even know you had to designate a direction.

For future reference, you would probably be better pumping the water into the jail as well as out of it because then you can control the level it goes to. Of course if you don't have enough water, it's irrelevant, and you will need a bit more water each time.

Also, I thought murderers had to face the hammerer. I assume he's not a noble and you have a hammerer, they are just one of the best features of the game. ^___^
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Huntthetroll on November 21, 2014, 02:46:35 pm
Actually, I don't have a hammerer.  Another detail that escaped me.  Thanks for the advice!  And since you liked that story, there is actually a part 2, which is even more unbelievable:

While my first jail was draining out, I had my dwarves build another one across the stairway from the original.  While my miners were clearing out the new cell, I saw that there was a tree growing on the z-level above, and that the miners would wind up destroying its roots.  Since the tree would die anyway, I told my woodcutter to chop it down.  After the old jail dried out, I had the drawbridge reinstalled and made sure it would actually close.  I then left it closed, to prevent the jail from becoming an unguarded back entrance to the fortress.

Fast forward a year later, and the Plains Titan Aso Ethratunem Irum Ared (Aso Islandapes the Wave of Fog) shows up.  Checking the wiki, I learn that a titan is basically an above-ground forgotten beast.  This one is a gigantic flying snail with deadly spittle.  Nasty.

Naturally, I raise the alert level to DORFCON 1, send the civilians to their shelter burrow and remove all the pen/pasture activity zones so that our livestock and pets go inside as well.  I watch everyone file into the fortress, mentally urging them to move faster so they get inside before the bridge closes...wait, where's the bridge?!  I suddenly remember that one of the dwarves that I recently threw in prison was convicted of "Vandalism," and that at the time I wondered how that was different from "Building Destruction."  Now I understand:  that stupid dwarf smashed the main drawbridge, leaving the main entrance wide open and unprotected.

I immediately order my stonecutters and metalsmiths to grab the nearest blocks and build a wall where the bridge was.  Racing against time, they finish the wall moments after the last of the animals file in.  Crisis averted.

With that problem solved, I turn my attention to killing the titan.  I decide to have my battle-hardened top-notch militia squad, the Disemboweled Orbs, sally forth from the drawbridge in the old jail cell.  My earlier folly has turned out to be a blessing in disguise, it seems.  I check the units screen to determine where the titan is...and can't find it.  "Has it left already?" I wonder.  On a whim, I open the "Deceased" tab.  There, sitting at the top of the (very long) list of the dead, is Aso Ethratunem Irum Ared, Plains Titan.

I am absolutely flabbergasted.  How could the titan have been killed before the Disemboweled Orbs even left the fortress?  More importantly, what could have killed it?  Is there an even more powerful enemy that I have to worry about?

I check the latest combat report and become even more confused.  It says that the titan attacked and was killed by none other than Domas Zasumstiz Aroz Anist, my militia commander and captain of the Disemboweled Orbs.  This is absolutely impossible, for two reasons:

1. The Disemboweled Orbs haven't left the fort yet, and none of the entrances are open.

2. Domas Zasumstiz Aroz Anist is in prison, jailed for throwing the latest of many tantrums.  (He gained his title after a previous tantrum, in which he killed the manager, the captain of the guard and a random wood burner that was in a fistfight with a child.)

I zoom to Domas and find him in his cell, alive and uninjured except for a bruise on his right thigh.  Lying on top of him is the titan's corpse, and on the floor is a spatter of its ichor.  I reread the combat report and discover that

1. he blocked every single one of the titan's flying spittle attacks (with his shield; apparently dwarven prisoners get to keep all of their gear); and

2. he only sustained an injury when the titan's dead body fell on him.

This is almost too incredible for me to believe.  This dwarf killed the above-ground equivalent of a forgotten beast single-handedly and without letting it get in any blows, while chained to the floor.

But the kicker, and what makes this a facepalm moment, is how the titan got in the fortress.  You see, Domas was in the new cell, right under the location of the tree that I had cut down when the cell was dug out.  Apparently, cutting down the tree and removing its roots left a single tile of open space where the tree used to be.  So there had been an extra, unguarded entrance into the fortress the whole time, without my knowledge, and my dwarves had been saved from a massacre only because their unhinged militia commander was chained to the floor right under it.  No wonder Domas kept complaining about being out in the sunlight.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on November 21, 2014, 03:27:02 pm
Ah, yes, the joys of the new trees: open space where you thought you'd never have it. I still have to get used to it and leave an extra layer between my tunnels (that lead to some towers outside the main castle) and the surface. I think all of them have a hole in some place or the other...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smeeprocket on November 21, 2014, 03:35:46 pm
That explains some odd open spaces above farm plots I've had recently.

I would be even more concerned about your captain now. Not only is he a serial murderer, he's a badass serial murderer. He will either lead your fort into the new era, or become the last living resident.

Just don't promote him to noble. I think hammerer ceases to be an option at that point. As far as I know dwarves will except being hit over the head as opposed to fighting their punishment.

If he lives he is probably a vampire. They laugh off hammerer punishments. But everyone gets good thoughts from the punishment, so... problem solved, I guess.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Huntthetroll on November 21, 2014, 06:38:29 pm
If he were almost any other dwarf (like Tulon the aforementioned ne'er-do-well fisherdwarf), I would definitely be trying to get him killed as fast as possible, but Domas is so badass at this point that I can't bring myself to do it.  What I would love to do would be to stick him out in front of the main entrance like a guard dog to kill anything that so much as looks askance at one of my dwarves.

Fun facts about Domas:

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Swonnrr on November 21, 2014, 07:45:34 pm
"That irriguation system is almost over. AT LAST.
I perfectly triple checked everything, the drain is largely big enough.
I don't need to wait the emergency pump to be over to pull the lever, even in the worst case scenario the flood can't be THAT fast with that little water..."

That's the third time in a row I lose a fortress because I'm too impatient and think "nah, that emergency system is for LATER, there is no way I need it right after ignition; I can go without it finished."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Huntthetroll on November 22, 2014, 12:34:23 am
Newest facepalm moment:  the badass militia commander Domas Zasumstiz that I mentioned in my last post has died, along with his eldest son, in a horrific brawl that started with a bone carver throwing a tantrum and quickly grew to involve over a dozen dwarves.  Domas was stabbed in the skull by his own squadmate, a speardwarf, who in turn had his skull caved in by another squadmate.  His son Ingish Ustuthsolam was pummeled by more than half the dwarves involved and died after vomiting uncontrollably.  Yet another characteristically tragic and incredibly stupid calamity in the history of Cavecradle.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smeeprocket on November 22, 2014, 09:26:48 am
Surviving tantrum spirals is probably the most rewarding part of the game for me.

I remember running out of food and drink a few times and my fort descending into chaos. The times that my dwarves mostly survived long enough to trade with a caravan were fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ancalagon_TB on November 23, 2014, 03:17:36 am
Mine was pretty minor - infant followed mother into a danger room.  Oops... Her morale took a big  hit, but she's "fine" so no tantrum.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Snaake on November 23, 2014, 03:55:25 pm
Quote from: Huntthetroll on November 21, 2014, 02:46:35 pm
...This is almost too incredible for me to believe.  This dwarf killed the above-ground equivalent of a forgotten beast single-handedly and without letting it get in any blows, while chained to the floor.

This is one of the most epic DF tales I've read in a while. Your militia commander is honored with a title after for going on a tantrum-murder spree in which he killed 3 dwarves, 2 of them (minor) nobles, 1 of those the captain of the guard, effectively the chief of the (paramilitary) police & head judge combined. My guess is everyone was too afraid to try and give him a beating/hammering anyway, or thought it would have no effect. Because there is some justice even in DF, he is sent to prison, but for some reason allowed to keep his arms&armour. While jailed, he inadvertently becomes the forts only line of defence from flying enemies due to an oversight on the overseer's part resulting in his cell having an open skylight. He fights a flying titan without suffering any injuries while chained to the floor in a cell, only to have the beasts corpse fall on him.

And eventually, his tale gets a suitably legendary ending with him and his son being killed in a tantrum-related, gore-filled free-for-all.

Edited for some grammar.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bigheaded on November 23, 2014, 05:03:11 pm
So i'm in a world gen where there's multiple necromancers wandering around, in my first fort it took less than a year to be attacked by a necromancer and being sorely unprepared, got destroyed. I.e i had two decently trained hammerdwarves who crushed every bone in 4 of their bodies and then they got tired and basically got killed cos of that.

So i decided to relocate nearby, this time, plan is, is to use water to push them into a drop and hopefully hurt them/drown them.

Facepalm #1, i selected a region which was 37 z levels deep, the cavern taking up most of around z11-z13. So max drop i had was about 10.
Facepalm #2, Whilst digging the hole, the miner got stuck. I decided this was somewhat easily fixable, he can just tunnel his way to the surface away from the fort itself, so that if invaders really wanted they can keep doing a circuit of being pushed down a hole and walking back upto surface.
Facepalm #3, A giant Toad wanders into my meeting hall. i was like WAT? trogoldytes completed ignored the stairs. Giant Toad runs into my meeting hall like a freaking immigrant! thankfully my hammerdwarf took care of it in 3 hits.
Facepalm #4, A GCS now runs into my meeting hall, and kicks the flying heck out of everything.
Facepalm #5, I have a trapper and could have simply placed 1 single trap on the way up to avoid this sort of thing, and would then have a GCS to fight against the zombie hoard. Oh well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ancalagon_TB on November 23, 2014, 07:43:52 pm
Quote from: Snaake on November 23, 2014, 03:55:25 pm
Quote from: Huntthetroll on November 21, 2014, 02:46:35 pm
...This is almost too incredible for me to believe.  This dwarf killed the above-ground equivalent of a forgotten beast single-handedly and without letting it get in any blows, while chained to the floor.

This is one of the most epic DF tales I've read in a while. Your militia commander is honored with a title after going on a tantrum-murder spree in which he killed 3 dwarves, 2 of them (minor) nobles... 1 of them was even the captain of the guard, effectively the chief of the (paramilitary) police & head judge combined. My guess is everyone was too afraid to try and give him a beating/hammering anyway, or thought it would have no effect. Because there is some justice even in DF, he is sent to prison, but for some reason allowed to keep his arms&armour, where he inadvertently becomes the only line of defence from flying enemies due to an oversight on the overseer's part resulting in his cell having an open skylight. He fights a flying titan without suffering injury while chained to the floor in a cell, only to have the beasts corpse fall on him.

And eventually, his tale gets a suitably legendary ending with him and his son being killed in a tantrum-related, gore-filled free-for-all.

I have to concur, that was pretty bad-ass
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spehss _ on November 23, 2014, 08:38:47 pm
I found a god named "The Scalded Disemboweled Boar" which despite the name was depicted as a male conger eel and was a god of the human civilization The Sensitive Kingdom.

Wow. So much facepalm material. "This is our god, he's a conger eel. (http://i4.irishmirror.ie/incoming/article2048418.ece/alternates/s615/I130712_150029_255012oTextCS_44516065.jpg) You know what he looks like? A scalded, disemboweled boar. Yeah, let's call him that."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Col_Jessep on November 23, 2014, 08:53:25 pm
That eel really need some PR advice from professionals! xD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edward Evjen on November 26, 2014, 02:33:27 am
I accidentally caused my artifacts to be stored outside while a group of Kea tourists were looking for merchandise.
nothing quite like watching them carry away...
I might execute my rangers for not arming themselves with crossbows, they practically waved farewell.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thisfox on November 26, 2014, 02:53:01 pm
"No, wait, don't release the blind cave ogres from the cages until after the sarcophagus is filled!
....Okay, fine, I'll put you in the bloody sarcophagus you idiotic mechanic.....
No, don't open that door, wait for the cage traps to do their... job. Okay. Fine. Is there anyone in the fort with the ability to haul fresh corpses? Fighting stuff while you're doing it might be a requisite as well... "
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on November 27, 2014, 08:12:48 am
I obviously need to work on my scheduling: I'm currently building an "isolation camp" for my werecreature dorfs so that they don't attack the others every 28 (24? 25.5? whatever.) days. It involves minecart tracks that trigger plates to open and close floor hatches for the minecarts to leave the camp, deliver the goods, and return with more raw materials (one of the werefoxes is a Master Carpenter already, though they are at the moment locked into one of the dining rooms to avoid... accidents). As I am a bit (read: a lot) inexperienced with minecart designs I need to test stuff like how far away from the hatch do I need to place the pressure plate so that the cart can pass (barely). There are also some impuls ramps in the design...

The mechanic who had to link the plate and the hatch was maimed by a cart that I already assigned to the track. He is now in hospital - at least some training for my doctors. I know I should have stayed with garbage dump zones and shafts (but then the falling masterwork training axes will inevitably strike somebody in the head).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smeeprocket on November 27, 2014, 02:10:21 pm
nah minecarts are the way to go. They are way more fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Magistrum on November 28, 2014, 11:17:04 am
Quote from: smeeprocket on November 27, 2014, 02:10:21 pm
nah minecarts are the way to go. They are way more fun.
And FUN too when the occasional airhead walks nearby...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: smeeprocket on November 28, 2014, 04:41:59 pm
Quote from: David The Master on November 28, 2014, 11:17:04 am
Quote from: smeeprocket on November 27, 2014, 02:10:21 pm
nah minecarts are the way to go. They are way more fun.
And FUN too when the occasional airhead walks nearby...

set all the tracks to high traffic and order the dwarves to ride the cart for even more FUN.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on December 04, 2014, 06:05:15 am
Hm. I thought when riding the minecart tehy would avoid collisions with other Dorfs? Now I need to try this, make a rollercoaster to mow down trogs or so, which should make the dorfs used to witnessing death. Too bad the caverns are sort of off-limits at the moment, there's like four FBs in them (and they slaughtered the trogs, so I have to wait until new ones come in). My military is really low level, I had a few migrants after almost succumbing to an invasion (one dorf left), and I'm tring to clean up the mess and at least bury the dead that lie inside. Outside we have a necromancer siege again. *sigh*

FP: Digging a ramp up and not checking that there was a workshop on top. Removed workshop now and did not check that when ramping up under a workshop there seems to be no hole at that z level. Minecart went up, bounced, went back, smashed my engineers hand and arm. *sigh*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Insert_Gnome_Here on December 06, 2014, 05:40:24 am
Quote from: gunpowdertea on December 04, 2014, 06:05:15 am
Hm. I thought when riding the minecart tehy would avoid collisions with other Dorfs? Now I need to try this, make a rollercoaster to mow down trogs or so, which should make the dorfs used to witnessing death. Too bad the caverns are sort of off-limits at the moment, there's like four FBs in them (and they slaughtered the trogs, so I have to wait until new ones come in). My military is really low level, I had a few migrants after almost succumbing to an invasion (one dorf left), and I'm tring to clean up the mess and at least bury the dead that lie inside. Outside we have a necromancer siege again. *sigh*

FP: Digging a ramp up and not checking that there was a workshop on top. Removed workshop now and did not check that when ramping up under a workshop there seems to be no hole at that z level. Minecart went up, bounced, went back, smashed my engineers hand and arm. *sigh*

AFAIK, they don't collide when guided, but when ridden, splat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Professor Lemur on December 06, 2014, 07:46:14 am
After telling my grand militia of two untrained dorfs to kill some capybaras, something gets confused down the line. The commander stood still in a pool of blood for a month, as well as the recruit.
They weren't dead; they were just stuck there, as if admiring the scenery was more important than food and drink. While all this is going on, I have dwarves who are just doing random jobs aboveground and they're making more effort to kill the capybaras. Sure, I did lose one dorf, but it isn't really a proper year when a Dwarf isn't dying from angry goblins, angry hippos, angry magma...

I managed to get the commander to snap out of it, but only by channelling around him and praying that a broken leg will get his attention. It worked! Now I just need to sort out the recruit...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Borge on December 07, 2014, 04:28:35 am
I was making a cistern in the shape of an inverse pyramid.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Because I'm thoughtless and lazy, i designated all levels for channelling at once. After 5 minutes i get a notice of a cave-in, then suddenly all my miners are crushed to death with 20+ diorite boulders. What happened is the top level gave way with all miners ontop of it, causing them all to roll into the very centre pit, then the diorite boulders followed and exploded my miners.

RIP
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Snow on December 07, 2014, 01:19:35 pm
Forgotten Beast knocked down a door and pretty much ignored the single weapon trap i had been able to muster at a very early fort stage.
OK. Here we go, death defying CHAAARGE. Except nobody came. Where are you guys?

Scroll around to find 3/4s of my dwarves are trapped behind a wall of fire created by the Forgotten Beasts breath, slowly eating through the cave plant spread i have on my soil layer farms.

._.

edit: aaand my first fort of 40.19 crumbled to ruins.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HavingPhun on December 10, 2014, 03:23:28 pm
My doctor was walking outside to get water for a patient, when a bobcat appeared. He proceded to get in a fist fight with it, without any fear. He killed it. I sent my militia commander, clad in full steel, to kill a kobold thief. He killed it, but had a thought noting that he was terrified of battle. Perhaps I chose the wrong man for the job. It also might be that they are more likely to be terrified when against sentient creatures, but still makes me wonder.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on December 10, 2014, 05:03:07 pm
Quote from: HavingPhun on December 10, 2014, 03:23:28 pm
My doctor was walking outside to get water for a patient, when a bobcat appeared. He proceded to get in a fist fight with it, without any fear. He killed it. I sent my militia commander, clad in full steel, to kill a kobold thief. He killed it, but had a thought noting that he was terrified of battle. Perhaps I chose the wrong man for the job. It also might be that they are more likely to be terrified when against sentient creatures, but still makes me wonder.
*stab*
"Aaaaahgh!"
*chop*
"Oh noooo!"
*decapitate*
"Someone save me!"
"I dunno, you seem to have everything under control..."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: utunnels on December 11, 2014, 09:35:03 pm
I wonder why soldiers "get previsions", is that a new feature?

Wait, what? Oh, provisions...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: koduesp on December 12, 2014, 07:32:12 am
The end of my last fortress was such a hilarious face palming all the way through that I still have a sore forehead.

I mess up my levers first in a goblin siege, which results in getting a full unit of ten crossbowdwarfs slaughtered right next to fortress gates. Better equipped melee dwarves return the favor to all but last remaining two goblins, and I take a look at their general condition and think they will die very soon. So I remove burrow restrictions.

All my civilians start pouring in to the melee of 2 goblins & 10 dwarf soldiers, in an effort to bury the crossbow squad.

Somehow the half-dead goblins manage to slaughter ten civilians right to the fortress gates, too.

Those were all my mistakes, though. Can't blame the dwarves (this time) around.

Yet only half a month passed, and a were-porcupine arrived. It literally bit a soldier dwarf in the toe, and another civilian to the tummy before it went down.

I didn't want to take any risks, so I ordered the two that were bitten to have a nice little get-together at admiring my waste disposal system from the inside, and maybe have a little lever-related accident.

Civilian went there haplessly without any ill doubts, but the soldier dwarf never showed up until it was full moon again, and the slaughter began.

Every month thereafter saw an outbreak of were-porcupines, and I thought that there would be no chance of me finding out all the infected members, so I just didn't care anymore.

I had a small drophole for captured goblin invaders, where I could drop them from a height that injured them badly, but not lethally, to a cavern. In time I had wanted to make a goblin colony there. Perhaps even throw two picks and two axes and some other provisions down too, to see if they would make it any better than my own fort.

Anyway, earlier I had been dropping them one-by-one to avoid any prison revolts, but this time I ordered a mass-dump of eight goblins.

Dwarves managed to throw first one down, but second in line escaped, and all the six dwarves behind got horrified of a naked, escaped  goblin - and dropped their own leashes. So all the while a porcupine-epidemic was raging in the fortress, seven naked goblins were running around and causing chaos in the tunnels below.

Finally all the goblins were killed and the dust had settled from the epidemic (all the infected dwarves were too badly injured so they couldn't land any additional hits even while transformed) and my once-glorious dwarven population of 120 had been reduced down to 19 surviving members.

Hell yeah!

I'd continue this. From the ashes would rise new and improved dwarven empire.

Well.

There was not enough burial space, so ghosts started popping up like mushrooms.

And then outpost liaison comes around.

But it's not outpost liaison from mountainhomes...

As an ultimate testament to the failure of absolutely everything, mountainhomes had been conquered by goblins.

That must have been the most !FUN! I've ever had.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pisskop on December 12, 2014, 10:34:42 pm
A civ took over a necromancer tower after my adventurer retired :facepalm:  The site is not loading in legends viewer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Quartz_Mace on December 13, 2014, 10:58:48 am
I lost a fortress because I built the well improperly and when I tried to seal it off, my masons wouldn't block it off because their building materials were blocking the building site.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on December 13, 2014, 11:58:56 am
Tried to wash out my residential area from my cistern and accidentally drowned an armorer... Gotta build a grate over that cistern some time...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: InfinityOps on December 18, 2014, 05:32:10 pm
Recently, I decided to try an embark close to a necromancer tower. I'd been designing my fortress to counter the impending undead siege. But nothing could have prepared me for the 24 armed and armored zombies that visited me in the first winter...

There were 24 of them, so I figured lining my entrance hallway with 24 cage traps would rout them. It seemed like a solid plan...until I remembered that it was a 3x8 hallway, and that enemies could move through traps that were already triggered. They were already on top of me by the time I realized this.

And that was my shortest lived fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: utunnels on December 20, 2014, 02:25:23 am
I had been dumping all the hoofs before.
Until five minutes ago I found they could be used as horns.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Visus Draconis on December 20, 2014, 12:27:41 pm
So I've just recently started a fort near a Sinister mountain, and the first thing I did was dig a four Z-level trench to keep any undead away. Of course there were no undead, so when one of my miners fell down a shaft and hurt one arm, I shrugged it off. That is, until my other miner did the same and broke both of her arms.

I groaned, then started frantically trying to keep her alive-- digging for water so they don't die of thirst, going into the 1st-level caverns for fodder and webs, etc. They're fine now, but still... having both your first miners break their arms is not an auspicious start for a fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thisfox on December 20, 2014, 09:17:10 pm
My Broker had so far been very reliable. Always turned up on time. Until this time.

I turned off all of her jobs so she could have some food and sleep and rest while every other dwarf in the fort hauled trade goods to the Depot. Then I went and found her, unsurprisingly, in a large sculpture garden near the waterfall. I checked she was fine, and had the Depot page her. She bolted out of the sculpture garden with "trade at depot" which was a good sign.... and must have tried (and failed) to jump one of the little drainage ditches from the waterfall. Next thing I know, it's "Trader cannot reach depot" and I took a while to find her, fighting the 3-5 or so water flow in the drain. She finally managed to get out... and went straight to bed.

I fired her and got someone else. I might put her back on trading later (her appraisal is nice) but she is in no condition to trade this season.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: utunnels on December 21, 2014, 07:00:03 am
What will brokers do when you need them?

1) Cafting/cooking/etc

2) If you disable 1), Stock item in stockpile

3) If you disable 2), Store owned item

4) Eat/drink

5)  Pickup equipment

6) Sleep

7) Yeah, my broker finally wakes up! On break/attend party
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bearskie on December 21, 2014, 11:25:25 am
Mistakenly set rollers to the opposite direction.  Poor dwarf who was tasked to push track vehicle got a solid faceful of lead minecart going at 1step/tick.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slayerhero90 on December 21, 2014, 04:46:52 pm
I just started a new fort.

Within a minute, a torrent of cyan muck started falling from the sky.
Undead yaks guard the river.
The five dwarves who are outside rush to the river to clean themselves and get brained by the yaks.
I haven't even been playing for more than a minute and I'm already down to just my miner and metalsmith.

What's worse is that the rain never seems to end.
It stops for like a second before picking back up.
All of the stuff from the wagon is still outside, getting rained on.

A cat came into the cave and infected the two dwarves.
I still don't know how lethal the muck is.
It doesn't look to have any immediate effects.

I'm gonna have to start recording this shit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Buckley on December 22, 2014, 03:09:35 pm
I noticed - while mining in the depths - that my outdoor refuse pile was emitting a nice big miasma cloud b/c half of it was underneath a ledge the z-level above.  The troll I'd killed earlier and dumped into the refuse pile was rotting away.

So I queued the 2x5 tile ledge on the z level above for channeling - without much thought, heck, it's only a 2x5 section what's the worst that could happen.... (foreshadowing, of course...)

About an hour later - I'd already had a pretty massive mining order in the depths queue'd up and pretty much forgotten about the ledge - a werepanther attacked and immediately killed a grazing yak, a wood collecting laborer, and my woodcutter.  I'd not yet developed any kind of militia and the only two weapons I had left were the two picks of my miners... so I quickly organized them into a militia and sent them after the beast ...  which much to my surprise they dispatched without much trouble.

Just after the fight my bold miner fighter dwarves piled the bodies of my fallen into the same aforementioned outdoor refuse pile.  (Great, I thought, I'll have to just reclaim them in a bit after I build some coffins and dig some graves.)

After dumping the bodies and severed parts my miners then decide to mine the ledge.

"A cave-in has occured!!"  Both miners apparently were on top of the 2x5 ledge and managed to channel out all around them, which triggered a 1 z-level fall.  Upon landing the body parts of their fallen compadres proceeded to scatter - knocking one of the miners unconscious and break his leg while breaking the hand of the other miner.

Not having a hospital built yet,  I ended up with one dead miner (from infections that set into his wounds) and one miner with a permanently maimed hand.  *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xaritscin on December 25, 2014, 01:01:23 pm
deleted, sorry, wrong post
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: VoxieG on December 26, 2014, 02:08:19 am
I embarked on a frozen coastline, and I spent three years digging out a pretty decent fortress in the ice. I retired the fortress, with the intention of returning with an adventurer to explore it. When I arrive, the entrance is frozen shut, so I retire the adventurer. I un-retire the fortress, fearing the worst, and my fears are realized when I see the entire fortress filled in with solid ice. To add insult to injury, I can still see the where the fortress was, as the smooth ice walls are intact.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Repseki on December 26, 2014, 10:20:36 am
Note to self, when using DFHack's fastdwarf command to make sure my minecart related ideas are at least partially feasible for a future fort, do not forget to delete/disable the test route after having a dwarf splatter themselves against a wall after riding a cart on said route.

Three more Dwarves decided to ride the cart before I realized what was happening 5 seconds later...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on December 27, 2014, 01:57:01 pm
I just started doing minecarts this week, after over two years of DF. First minecart track was simple: starts to the east of a stockpile, moves one tile east, then five or six north, where a track stop dumps the contents to the west to a one tile stockpile, next to the stairs up to my workshops (gem piles and gem workshops, for the curious). Stops are designated properly, after careful consultation with the wiki. Dwarves guide carts to and fro. It's a straight line from the stairs to the first stop, and about two extra tiles to walk down the mine track, which I have manually designated as "restricted."

[facepalm] Dwarves still repeatedly walk down the tracks to drop off items in the cart. [/facepalm]
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tussock on December 27, 2014, 06:55:17 pm
Ozarck, when a dorf paths up to a narrow tunnel full of other dorfs (or just one, sometimes), one will check for a short-ish alternate path to avoid walking over the other. I suspect the alternate paths may not pay quite so much attention to restricted zones. Make your preferred path (stairs and all) 3+ wide and the dorfs are much more likely to find an alternate path within the same corridor. Especially if you direct the regular pathfinding down the middle with a high priority strip, or set up proper 2-way corridors where they keep out of each other's way.

Not that there's any guarantees. If a dorf can possibly get somewhere, eventually one of them will get there. Or maybe all of them.

[facepalm] Without any gathering areas at all, your dorfs will random-walk the map, leaping over chasms, climbing sheer cliffs, and then when they get thirsty, they have to use the regular pathfinder to get back, which can't do any of that. Fortunately you get a bunch of error messages about being unable to path to take water to a thirsty dorf. Just don't ignore all that red like I did.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Astrid on December 28, 2014, 07:20:52 am
First year in. Outpost Liason and Caravan arrive in the midest of a Capybara horde.
The Axedwarfs instantly go on in slaughetring most of them and somehow one of the Merchants manages to freak out and leaves all his goods laying about. Result? The Caravan leaves without ever haveing reached my Depot in the first place.

...

Capybaras...?

Honestly?

I hope you weaklings fall off a cliff or something before you get back home...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tigerle on December 29, 2014, 12:01:48 am
I have three traps in my small and young fortress. Two of them has captured each a kobold. Because i'm low of cages i want to put both kobolds in one cage. (I have no trees in this map, so i have to be very economical). This time is the first time i try it with kobolds. So i sit before my screen and watch, if it works and the kobold doesn't fight again. And it seems to work. A dwarf is leading him to his new cage.
The way goes past my entrance hall with 10 war dogs. These do their job and attacks this poor kobold. Now the dwarf runs away in terror and the kobold begin to defense himself against my dogs.
It results in 4 dead war dogs. Luckily the kobold found the last trap while he runs away.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Astrid on December 29, 2014, 05:23:14 am
A Kobold killed 4 dogs?

You have removed his weapons from him before you moved him havent you?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AbanShakehandles on December 29, 2014, 12:50:26 pm
I thought I was being so clever with my embark points.

I don't need an axe,
I'll just make a wooden training axe out of the logs I'll obtain with my.... dammit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on December 29, 2014, 01:07:16 pm
Quote from: AbanShakehandles on December 29, 2014, 12:50:26 pm
I thought I was being so clever with my embark points.

I don't need an axe,
I'll just make a wooden training axe out of the logs I'll obtain with my.... dammit.
Don't forget you can break down your wagon for 3 logs...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tawa on December 30, 2014, 06:13:05 pm
(http://s1.postimg.org/ebgael5fj/wellthen.png)
Oh Armok, not this. NOT A KING. NOW HE WANTS A FANCIER BEDROOM THAN WE CAN PROVIDE.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheKaspa on December 31, 2014, 06:50:17 am
(https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-2RFvIkdAmY4/VKPMFNjP6PI/AAAAAAAAJhY/ES7jtHvsOtI/w1007-h71-no/microcline.PNG)

In order to create this useless piece of crap, he wanted rocks (legit), leather stack (I had to build a butchery and a tannery, and hope that some UristMcTanner would decide to stop fishing), bones (set up a stockpile only for him) and a log.

At least the Wokshop is in a safe position: it is in a room with two non-pet-allowing doors and two cage trap
(https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-2VWXBmQBpiQ/VKPMFdJNigI/AAAAAAAAJhc/bfLRYK3tMyc/w137-h96-no/workshop.PNG)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: emodwarf on December 31, 2014, 10:44:34 am
I generated a new, custom world where there are more volcanoes, which worked fine.  I embarked on a a promising location, and, as soon as I unpaused the game, I got a notification of a cavern collapse, which occurred in the volcano.  No problem - I hit the spacebar to resume.  It then immediately happened again - same area of the map.  Then again, and again, and again.  While paused, I took a good look at the volcano.  Apparently, the volcano intersects with one or more caverns, which have a bottom level filled with water, which is pouring down the volcano shaft, and hitting the magma pools below.  Since this volcano is near the map's edge, the caverns and magma pools involved effectively have an infinite supply of water and magma, so the "collapses" seemed to never end.  After about x120 spammed announcements, it was done informing me of the situation, as obsidian had formed over the most active areas, but the never-ending pouring continues as newly-formed obsidian melts into the molten rock below. 

Now, I'm wondering if I need to abandon not only this embark, but the newly-generated world all together!   :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tawa on December 31, 2014, 02:28:00 pm
The king wanted a nice bedroom, right? So I make him a golden statue.

The golden statue was of a mussel.

Guess what the king hates above all else?

EDIT: Wait, thank goodness. He hates oysters, not mussels.

CRISIS AVERTED

MAY THE GREAT MUSSEL LOOK OVER THE KING IN LIFE AND DEATH
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: G3Kappa on January 01, 2015, 01:24:09 am
You freaking traders, I'm giving you 160k worth of food in exchange for 110k miscellanous items, including worthless toys and musical instruments. What else do you want? I made you tired? I'll take it seriously the next time?

I'll make sure you won't return to the Mountainhomes the next time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cryxis, Prince of Doom on January 01, 2015, 02:03:10 am
Started playing again for the first time in months.
First new fort on a hill side and what do you know, Cinnabar, cinnabar every where!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dozebm Lolumzals on January 01, 2015, 09:13:29 pm
Quote from: Cryxis, Prince of Doom on January 01, 2015, 02:03:10 am
Started playing again for the first time in months.
First new fort on a hill side and what do you know, Cinnabar, cinnabar every where!

How's that a facepalm?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cryxis, Prince of Doom on January 02, 2015, 02:17:48 am
Quote from: jwoodward48df on January 01, 2015, 09:13:29 pm
Quote from: Cryxis, Prince of Doom on January 01, 2015, 02:03:10 am
Started playing again for the first time in months.
First new fort on a hill side and what do you know, Cinnabar, cinnabar every where!

How's that a facepalm?

The unholy amount of hauling and the fact that I tryed as best I could to make it ideal, now I have to wait forever for stone hauling.. Which sucks... I guess it's not all too much of a face palm


So I'll supply an old one I recently remembered

Messed with the embark points for one fort and I wanted to make a textile industry so I brought like 40-50 sheep on embark.
Gave them a huge grazing area around a river
Winter came by and a few crossed to the other side while the river was frozen.
Spring hit and three of them fell into the water and were murdered by (lamprey?) and about 15 were trapped on the other side with no way of getting back so I ended up making a bridge


Also different fort that I wanted to have a fishing industry. Had a couple streams running through it. My two~three fishers went to the stream and all were pulled in by the Carl and killed by a combination of many carp and lamprey. The stream ran red with blood and the other dwarves ended up starving to death (got rid of embark seeds to give better fish related skills to my dwarves, not once did I think I should let them know how to swim)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tawa on January 03, 2015, 02:32:37 am
Quote from: Cryxis, Prince of Doom on January 02, 2015, 02:17:48 am
My two~three fishers went to the stream and all were pulled in by the Carl
DAMN YOU, CARL, DROWNER OF DWARVES

:P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cryxis, Prince of Doom on January 03, 2015, 02:35:41 am
Aren't typos just great?  :P
That better end up on the OOCQ thread
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Alex Encandar on January 03, 2015, 05:41:02 pm
I just killed my first dragon...and lost 2/3 of my fort in the process.

Locked my front gate, only to realized the dragon had breached my defenses and was burning 60 dwarves to death.

Killed him though, without even a proper military set up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: G3Kappa on January 03, 2015, 09:16:09 pm
I was building a small structure where two roads intersecated, and I was going to raise it a few floors to also serve as an archery tower.
But you can't build walls on the roof, you have to deconstruct the perimeter of the wall, and THEN build over the open space.

Well...

(http://puu.sh/e2x8V/c5a68ae1b8.png)
(http://puu.sh/e2xm1/d2f48c0406.png)

My fisherdwarf just had a pretty funny yet tragic Wile E. Coyote moment.

EDIT: I'm going to build a memorial right in the center of that building. "Here lies Urist McStupid"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Atrushan on January 04, 2015, 04:21:24 pm
I just recently had a random farmer become all secretive and claim a craftsdwarf's workshop. Normally I'd be perfectly all right with this, as I always have spare craftshops, except he decided he didn't want either of the ones on the workshop level. Oh no. He wanted the workshop dedicated entirely to strand extraction, which is only accessed through a 100 z-level staircase straight down to the top of the magma sea. So now I'm going to be out of a strand extractor for probably the rest of the season.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Atrushan on January 04, 2015, 04:21:53 pm
I just recently had a random farmer become all secretive and claim a craftsdwarf's workshop. Normally I'd be perfectly all right with this, as I always have spare craftshops, except he decided he didn't want either of the ones on the workshop level. Oh no. He wanted the workshop dedicated entirely to strand extraction, which is only accessed through a 100 z-level staircase straight down to the top of the magma sea. So now I'm going to be out of a strand extractor for probably the rest of the season.

Edit: So apparently I somehow managed to post this twice. There wouldn't happen to be a way to delete a post, would there?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dark One on January 05, 2015, 05:32:41 pm
Forgetting about water pressure can often lead to lots of FUN.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EuphoriaToRegret on January 06, 2015, 01:26:23 am
Most recently, my fort was found by a single kobold thief.

Seeing no problem with this, I sent out my newest squad of militia to kill it. They needed some combat.

The kobold attempted to escape by running along my river and down to the end of the map.

My squad gave chase and charged the kobold... half of them landing in the river.

The kobold single-highhandedly managed to inadvertently kill 3 dwarves through drowning.   


Edit: Didn't realize I had inadvertently in the sentence when I typed accidental.

Thanks for pointing it out  ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on January 06, 2015, 02:31:23 am
"inadvertently" ... "accidental"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Musashi on January 06, 2015, 06:57:40 pm
Finally tried my hand at embarks in evil biomes. Even managed a decent little fortress in a map where the dead won't rest!
Which crumbled to its end starting from the moment migrants brought a water buffalo cow.
See, whenever I get grazers, I butcher them as fast as possible, and immediately process their skin into leather and hair into thread.
Well, for some reason, none of the 10+ dwarves idling in the same room, with the proper job activated, judged useful to rush to the hide in order to tan it, like they normally do every single damn time otherwise.
So the flapping skin of a water buffalo started killing everybody left and right, and by the time it was finally put down, zombie dwarves had already started rising, and you know the rest.
*facepalm* to myself, and *facepalm* to those lazy fuckers.
Note to self: fuck water buffaloes, just throw them whole into the zombie garbage dump. Never liked them anyway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Oriolous on January 07, 2015, 01:00:13 am
I wanted to start a little well project by channeling down to 2 z-levels to try and fill it up with water. Then I realized it would take ages to fill since the brook with infinite water is at the top of the map and I'm at the bottom. ...and I forgot whether or not dorfs can climb back up their channeled holes so I don't have to sacrifice one when I trigger the brook's flooding of the well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: utunnels on January 07, 2015, 03:11:48 am
Quote from: Oriolous on January 07, 2015, 01:00:13 am
I wanted to start a little well project by channeling down to 2 z-levels to try and fill it up with water. Then I realized it would take ages to fill since the brook with infinite water is at the top of the map and I'm at the bottom. ...and I forgot whether or not dorfs can climb back up their channeled holes so I don't have to sacrifice one when I trigger the brook's flooding of the well.

You can always leave the tile next to the brook intact before connecting the channel with the brook.
If you are digging underground, you can dig a deep enough hole(stairs) on the ground to delay the water/magma so you miner can escape.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Detros on January 07, 2015, 06:06:56 am
I have just read about blocks in wiki (http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Block) after making walls and fortifications from three sides of like 100x100 area to secure my main entrance. From rough blocks. Few hundreds of granite stones. It took like two years so far.

Well, it seems doing it from granite blocks would a) be much faster (this hauling! even with dozens of wheelbarrows...), b) allow more to be build from less raw material... I was literally mining halls under my fortress to get more granite stones so as to keep the walls in one colour.  @_@

Now I will probably dismantle all of that, process stones to blocks and rebuilt because I am again low on unmined granite and the fourth side is still not completed. Those 40 idle dwarves in 120 head fort will come handy...

Update edit: Less then one year and all walls removed and rebuilt again from blocks. Yay, it really goes much faster then building from rough stones :D .
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 99Hedgehog on January 08, 2015, 01:51:04 am
I started a fortress on top of a shrine.
It's inhabitant wasn't particularly pleased with it's new neighbors.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Goblins on January 11, 2015, 10:00:19 pm
Well... hehe!

I trapped 20 dwarfs into a cave, waiting for the cave crocodiles to finish them off.  But no!  The cave crocodiles will come up to MY fortress to come and kill us up there, but they won't appear in the cave at all.  So basically they all started to starve and my Butcher started to go insane.  He started to clobber people left and right.  Then a child went insane... and yea.  Always fun to be spammed with those messages!

Then I unlocked the door to my fortress... not a good idea!

So yea, in the end, I had a ton of spamming messages of people calming down from a tantrum, having a tantrum, or being discovered after dying from the insane child/butcher. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: utunnels on January 13, 2015, 10:28:42 pm
I embarked on a map with a cave and started a one-dorf only game(kill all but leave one worker). My strategy to explore the cave was simple: building hatches over downward stairs. Everything was well until I noticed my meat stocks raised from 0 to 30 or so. I checked the message it appeared a giant cave spider just visited my fort.

Then I quickly checked the hatch. It was built over an upward stair.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Knit tie on January 14, 2015, 08:37:38 pm
Instead of dumping the stone into magma, the dwarves have all decided to dump it into the corpse pit 174 Z-levels up. All of my populace has been lugging rocks up the stairs for the last 10 minutes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Tilaturist on January 15, 2015, 06:28:45 am
Dumping stone into magma should make more magma, but stone volume has not yet been properly implemented (digging stone should produce an equal volume of boulders and rubble to dump, and putting it in magma should make more magma; what is not to like about more magma?).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: palu on January 15, 2015, 10:01:50 pm
Had an undead seige. Decided to send my 15 dwarf militia out to deal with them. They were all armed, and had some armor. They readied themselves at the sally port, prepared to defend their dwarven brothers and bravely face the undead menace. They raised their weapons, gave a dwarven battle-yell... and ran at the undead one by one, every one dying. They managed to take out a grand total of one zombie. One. Words fail me. The only survivors were my commander and captain, both sleeping off hangovers in the barracks. They now go, to try to succeed where their brothers could not. Wish them luck.
EDIT: Annnnd... They're dead too.
EDIT: Annnnd... So is my fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McShire on January 15, 2015, 11:58:59 pm
Not realizing that a Bronze Colossus could easily climb a 1 z-level high wooden wall and moved as quickly as a cat.

My fort lived, but not before 5 dwarves fell.

I guess this means that it's time to update my defenses.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on January 16, 2015, 12:45:25 am
I'm honestly not sure 'climb' is the right word to use here.

Step over might be more appropriate.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vyro on January 16, 2015, 11:44:11 pm
Was getting an Evil embark ready, haven't done it in a while. Genned a custom world, handpicked the profile, embarked in the fanciest place possible.
We were feverishly digging in when lo and behold, there they come! Not undead giant ravens or camels or whatnot. A small herd of bunnies prances in. Living bunnies. No abnormal weather or anything, just bunnies. Bloody small living rodents. I felt the urge to slam my head face first into the laptop.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on January 17, 2015, 11:44:33 am
Just like at the cave of Caerbannoch!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 99Hedgehog on January 18, 2015, 02:35:47 am
Quote from: Urist McShire on January 15, 2015, 11:58:59 pm
Not realizing that a Bronze Colossus could easily climb a 1 z-level high wooden wall and moved as quickly as a cat.

My fort lived, but not before 5 dwarves fell.

I guess this means that it's time to update my defenses.
Can't climb fortifications.
Add them in addition to a pit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McHendrix on January 19, 2015, 01:00:56 pm
Not having a proper finished goods stockpile set up yet and having a kea steal some scepter artifact from my surface bone-arrow crafting workshop which is next to the butcher's... Dorfs at my forts often pick magmology over biology. I blame Toady.

Edit: oh yeah, the time I realized how the first animal from the stockpile list are... Toads.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naryar on January 21, 2015, 03:57:48 am
>temperature off since the start of the fort
>make a 2z deep magma moat, fill it entirely with magma
>still no temperature
>delicious hematite vein next to the magma moat, I must mine it
>proceed to autodig, naturally I assume dwarves will stop before the magma
>still no temperature
>hematite walls making the moat are NOT warm stone
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Tilaturist on January 21, 2015, 11:41:01 am
Why would a player turn temperature off? Does it improve performance?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aslandus on January 21, 2015, 11:49:29 am
Quote from: Urist Tilaturist on January 21, 2015, 11:41:01 am
Why would a player turn temperature off? Does it improve performance?
Yes, fewer calculations with few actual effects... well, apart from the warm stone thing...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naryar on January 22, 2015, 03:53:17 am
Quote from: Urist Tilaturist on January 21, 2015, 11:41:01 am
Why would a player turn temperature off? Does it improve performance?

Vastly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Astrid on January 22, 2015, 05:43:36 am
The fail is strong in this one... *cheap yoda impression*

(http://pionier-clan.de/Bilder/Unsortierbares/Noseoiled.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ancalagon_TB on January 22, 2015, 08:38:34 am
That's one heck of a bird!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lordhermitcrab on January 23, 2015, 09:23:22 pm
In an early fortress I had, a fire-breating, 6-legged titan lizard decided to visit. This quickly escalated into madness, as I wasn't prepared. It set fire to the grass, and the entire map burned, with a line of fire cleansing the world. Around the time the lizard arrived, some migrants decided they'd come to stay. Needless to say, most got slaughtered immediately, but one survived in an insane way. This guy was beaten around, and vomited profusely before being fired on by fire. And even though he was on fire and burning violently (while being fired on hundreds of time by fire from the lizard), he was taking very little damage. He smashed the lizards toes into oblivion before starving to death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: enisea on January 24, 2015, 02:44:35 pm
I embarked on a troll cave when
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zarathustra30 on January 25, 2015, 12:21:54 am
I tried making a "tavern" at the site of a worldgen bridge. In the process of building the top floor, I encountered bug 8719 (http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/mantisbt/view.php?id=8719) and promptly crashed. I had forgotten to save.

I tried makin a "tavern" a second time. I clearcut the area first. In the process of excavating the basement, the ramp was accidentally demolished. No big deal, I'll just dump some wood to the miner so he can make the bridge (I didn't want to mine in this save). My dwarves decide to dally, and Urist McMiner decides to climb out of the hole to dump the wood himself.

I now gave up on my "no stairs" challenge, and tried to build a staircase. My dwarves cancel building the staircase, due to an item blocking the site. The aforementioned wood.

I now attempted to send a minecart over the edge down the stairwell, ridden by Urist McRampbuilder. She somehow leaps out of the vehicle on the way down the hole (of all times to become intelligent), and now I need a new minecart.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: damnit,urist,youhadonejob on January 26, 2015, 12:23:09 am
to keep my dwarves from getting cave adaption i would channel a 5x5 tunnel down to the first cavern then run a bridge across it and make it part of my entrance design. in this one fort i had dug a 4 wide channel around a good walled off section of above ground pasture with the downward tunnel in the middle.
i had a caravan arrive from the humans that managed to bring nothing of value, so for that i decided they needed to die. bad idea, two squads died to a single human lasher. as they were leaving i sent an order to make the bridge raise on repeat, i managed to make all of them fall to there death, except misses lasher.  she some how flew 10 z levels up and landed unhurt in the fields uptop. i turned off the lever and waited for the rest of my fort to be slaughtered. she just walked out and left. i waited 2 years for a human siege but nothing came.

i copied the save and tried to find her in adventure mode but no luck, so i went to legends mode. she had been struck down by a wandering dragon on her way back to tell the humans what had happened.

i was mad that i would not be able to hunt her down myself so i made another adventure and went after the beast, i died, and then died again and again and again, finally i landed a lucky blow and knocked it out, where i proceeded to pluck its eyes out and try and bash its head in, it woke up and set me and the forest on fire. i gave up, started a new fort, and the forest is on fire. -_- i will come back to this save later
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thisfox on January 26, 2015, 06:17:11 am
Quote from: enisea on January 24, 2015, 02:44:35 pm
I embarked on a troll cave when
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yep. You sure as hell did. Yup. That's an embark. On a Troll. Cave.

Well done you!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MobRules on January 26, 2015, 01:56:53 pm
Turtling might not be the most dorfly way of dealing with a Goblin seige, but my military isn't ready yet,  so thank Armok for strong walls and drawbridges! I have a well, and plenty of food, and can last here indefinitely. Bring it!

* Suddenly my screen gets filled with job cancellation spam, due to "Interrupted by Goblin Crossbowman" and "Horrified" *
Sure enough, there's a goblin shooting cross-bow bolts everywhere.

What the... how did he get in here?

.. turns out there was a HOLE in the roof of my first Z-level underground, and the goblin had fallen in from above. HTF did that hole get there?!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MobRules on January 26, 2015, 02:02:03 pm
Quote from: enisea on January 24, 2015, 02:44:35 pm
I embarked on a troll cave when
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
You didn't actually NEED anything in that wagon right away, did you?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Astrid on January 26, 2015, 04:23:04 pm
Quote from: MobRules on January 26, 2015, 01:56:53 pm
.. turns out there was a HOLE in the roof of my first Z-level underground, and the goblin had fallen in from above. HTF did that hole get there?!!

If you dig the roots of a tree completely away and then fell the tree afterwards then it will result in a hole where the tree has formerly been.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Detros on January 26, 2015, 05:15:41 pm
Quote from: Astrid on January 26, 2015, 04:23:04 pm
Quote from: MobRules on January 26, 2015, 01:56:53 pm
.. turns out there was a HOLE in the roof of my first Z-level underground, and the goblin had fallen in from above. HTF did that hole get there?!!

If you dig the roots of a tree completely away and then fell the tree afterwards then it will result in a hole where the tree has formerly been.
And you can get such holes even in built stone walls. A group of trees just loves one area I filled with walls and keeps spawning there. And felling each of them makes a hole inside granite block walls because tree roots are apparently strong enough to replace those walls. -.- (http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/mantisbt/view.php?id=8752)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gentlefish on January 26, 2015, 05:58:04 pm
Well. In all honesty, they are :P

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MobRules on January 26, 2015, 07:13:09 pm
Quote from: Astrid on January 26, 2015, 04:23:04 pm
Quote from: MobRules on January 26, 2015, 01:56:53 pm
.. turns out there was a HOLE in the roof of my first Z-level underground, and the goblin had fallen in from above. HTF did that hole get there?!!

If you dig the roots of a tree completely away and then fell the tree afterwards then it will result in a hole where the tree has formerly been.

Aha, that would be it then. This is the first time in forever that I've embarked in a heavily forested area.
Quote from: Detros on January 26, 2015, 05:15:41 pm
And you can get such holes even in built stone walls. A group of trees just loves one area I filled with walls and keeps spawning there. And felling each of them makes a hole inside granite block walls because tree roots are apparently strong enough to replace those walls. -.- (http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/mantisbt/view.php?id=8752)
That's good to know.

Perhaps my next fortress will have a less bloody end. Or at least a different bloody end.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thisfox on January 27, 2015, 01:21:26 am
Quote from: MobRules on January 26, 2015, 07:13:09 pm
Quote from: Astrid on January 26, 2015, 04:23:04 pm
Quote from: MobRules on January 26, 2015, 01:56:53 pm
.. turns out there was a HOLE in the roof of my first Z-level underground, and the goblin had fallen in from above. HTF did that hole get there?!!
If you dig the roots of a tree completely away and then fell the tree afterwards then it will result in a hole where the tree has formerly been.
Aha, that would be it then. This is the first time in forever that I've embarked in a heavily forested area.

This is why I've taken to paving over the areas where there's a dwarf tunnel directly beneath, and to keeping all of the fort at least two z-levels downward. And yet to this day I have the occasional random hole materialise, and entry for the local were-population.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NeatHedgehog on January 27, 2015, 01:27:03 pm
Constructed another trade depot between two bridges so I didn't have to have a main line straight into my main tunnel to receive caravans.

Forgot to tear the old one down.

Dwarven caravan showed up, went to the first one, turned right around and left.

Good thing I have (mostly) armored my military, have plenty of silver hammers, and excessive food stores. Could have used some upgrades, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bearcoon on January 27, 2015, 07:58:31 pm
The day i Realized that you had to TELL your dwarfs to come inside During a siege
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Magnus on January 28, 2015, 08:40:11 am
Sent out my best marksdwarves to fight the enemy!
Without ammo.

Had my apple picker survive an encounter with a  werebeast!
Brought him inside for healing.

Spent ages trying to figure out why my dwarves wouldn't haul corpses out from the fort!
I'd forgotten to lower the drawbridge.

Ordered iron bars at a premium from the traders!
Later found out you can order iron ore for much cheaper.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Goblins on January 28, 2015, 09:23:16 am
Made an aquatic fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Knit tie on January 28, 2015, 09:26:09 am
Quote from: Goblins on January 28, 2015, 09:23:16 am
Made an aquatic fort.
How?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Astrid on January 28, 2015, 11:55:32 am
Quote from: Knit tie on January 28, 2015, 09:26:09 am
Quote from: Goblins on January 28, 2015, 09:23:16 am
Made an aquatic fort.
How?
Easy. Build it below a source of water and then let the water flow inside...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Silverlock on January 28, 2015, 02:16:41 pm
Frequently, the challenge lies in not making an aquatic fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gregor Samsdwarf on January 29, 2015, 04:08:40 am
If you equip them dorfs with "indiv. choice, melee" most of them will choose for themself the nicest weapon they can find, instead of one they can handle  :-X

It goes without saying that a swordsdorf with a *steel mace* doesn't have the best chance of survival  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xana55 on January 31, 2015, 08:32:58 pm
So I just saw a dwarf strangling the crap out of a wolverine while it was biting and shaking him about by the leg... did... did he have it up above his head with just the head hanging down and ripping his leg to shreds?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cryxis, Prince of Doom on January 31, 2015, 08:51:32 pm
Weremouse attacks, my dwarves are so diciplined that they continue their outdoors jobs while the animals in the pastor get slaughtered, my military is rushing to get it. I have a squad nearby but they are not armored fully and I don't want to risk it.
Military gets there after 3~4 dead dwarves and several severely injured.

A few months pass and of course someone turns, kills a dwarf and is beaten to death by several dwarves just as my military gets to it, 4 more injured.

Population of 73 down to 67.
Oh and there is a forgotten beast hidding in a pit.
I'm debating on just fuckering around with this fort now before everyone dies.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thisfox on February 01, 2015, 03:58:35 am
Quote from: Cryxis, Prince of Doom on January 31, 2015, 08:51:32 pm
Weremouse attacks,....
A few months pass and of course someone turns, kills a dwarf and is beaten to death by several dwarves just as my military gets to it, 4 more injured.
... before everyone dies.

Everyone who was there when the fort weremouse turned, put them in a room, lock the door, and build a wall across the door. Everyone else will do fine without 'em, so long as you leave the forgotten beast where it is, and when the month is up, if no one turns, you can let 'em all out. If someone turns... well, there are always migrants, you don't need to ever let the remaining weres out. I often have a few walled off rooms, each with a different type of were, walled in forever. They don't need feeding.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cryxis, Prince of Doom on February 01, 2015, 11:07:42 am
That's just it
It's been several months and half my fort was there at each attack.

Also the FB is just wandering around the pit, that is now being filled with water and dead dwarves.

Ya the fort is retired now, it was about to fail
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naryar on February 03, 2015, 03:46:07 am
Quote from: Cryxis, Prince of Doom on January 31, 2015, 08:51:32 pm
Weremouse

(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/99/ea/dd/99eadd904d2c7880d5c5ff63bec19764.jpg)

Now you will know why you fear the night.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RocheLimit on February 03, 2015, 09:08:17 am
Get attacked by three squads of goblins, order my front gate closed.

Dwarf pulls lever, does nothing.  I check the bridge, no mechanism.

Quickly order the lever to be linked to the bridge.

Goblins are halfway here.

Lever and bridge are connected in time.  Order the lever to be pulled twice.

Bridge retracts. >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cryxis, Prince of Doom on February 03, 2015, 08:43:26 pm
Started a new fort in a pretty nice embark place
6 useful and 10 point trained dwarves and a 4 point trained miner
Some embark metal and plenty of food and 3 war dogs for protection

Embark arrives and fisherbegins fishing as miner mines
Fisher gets dragged in by an alligator and is torn apart. Then the alligator swims out onto land and two war dogs and 5 dwarves try fighting it and all are killed

Now my miner is left alone with one war dog pal, digging a for, waiting for new friends
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on February 04, 2015, 05:26:04 pm
One of my seven got killed by a fucking deer before the first caravan came oO
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cryxis, Prince of Doom on February 04, 2015, 05:28:04 pm
Quote from: GuesssWho on February 04, 2015, 05:26:04 pm
One of my seven got killed by a fucking deer before the first caravan came oO
At least 6 of them didn't die by alligator the first week
I shit you not
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GuesssWho on February 04, 2015, 06:25:27 pm
I have also discovered that wild animals never attack each other. Which would be less annoying if they at least ignored each other, but I currently have a giant toad and a cave croc awkwardly dancing around each other like nerds at prom.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bigjaredmonkey on February 04, 2015, 08:12:13 pm
Protip: marksdwarves aren't as good as you would think in killing rocs, even if you have a whole squad of them.
The entire squad of marksdwarves got slaughtered.

( thought it may do with the fact they were all novice marksdwarves )
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Tilaturist on February 05, 2015, 02:09:08 pm
Quote from: GuesssWho on February 04, 2015, 06:25:27 pm
I have also discovered that wild animals never attack each other. Which would be less annoying if they at least ignored each other, but I currently have a giant toad and a cave croc awkwardly dancing around each other like nerds at prom.

That is daft and weird; I have certainly seen forgotten beasts fight before.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on February 05, 2015, 04:37:03 pm
Quote from: Urist Tilaturist on February 05, 2015, 02:09:08 pm
That is daft and weird; I have certainly seen forgotten beasts fight before.
Me too, FB fights are epic.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Obsidianos on February 05, 2015, 05:10:06 pm
In my latest fortress game i had this river under which i had dug out my farms etc.
At some point, necessity prompted me to construct a bridge to gain access to the trees from the other side and so i did,
caution also prompted me to construct a pair of walls on either side of the bridge,
since a little further on was a 7z drop waterfall
and didn't want any unfortunate dwafs jumping scared in the water to end up dead.

Of course and as you might imagine i 'd forgotten that:
-->One doesn't simply BUILD a wall on the side of his bridge!
Cause if there is not another piece of wall already mounted near a shoreline, the block will just fall in the water...
What i wouldn't imagine is that the boulder after its initial splash of water along with the ever ominous warning sound of the cave in,
would punch a hole in the river bed, as well as the floor under that... until it found on the -3rd floor some resistance,
causing the redirection of part of the river through my fort
and me in sheer horror and desperation trying to figure out how on earth am i suppose to fix that! :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: abysmalduke on February 06, 2015, 03:58:04 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/XNCKHD2.png)

By the thousand available fancy legendaries, Armok forbid. Go ahead you McGeniuspants, I dare you. I double dare you rockhumper.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on February 06, 2015, 04:37:27 pm
Quote from: abysmalduke on February 06, 2015, 03:58:04 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
By the thousand available fancy legendaries, Armok forbid. Go ahead you McGeniuspants, I dare you. I double dare you rockhumper.
What am I looking at here?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: abysmalduke on February 06, 2015, 04:44:34 pm
Quote from: TheFlame52 on February 06, 2015, 04:37:27 pm
Quote from: abysmalduke on February 06, 2015, 03:58:04 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
By the thousand available fancy legendaries, Armok forbid. Go ahead you McGeniuspants, I dare you. I double dare you rockhumper.
What am I looking at here?

A dwarf about channel out the very last bearing floor of the two tiles he is standing on. Over a pit which at this point was 5 Z-levels down to the bottom.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uzu Bash on February 07, 2015, 07:49:13 pm
I embarked in a valley with a river right through the center, for water supply and an extra defensive barrier. I've been busily fortifying the side I landed on, with a drawbridge across the river for potential traders and immigrants. The first wave came from the other side and ignored the bridge, walking right across the water, which I dismissed after seeing that they all had swimming skill. I dug dry moats up to each side of the river, preparing to channel the water under my mountain to use for a pump stack later. I got my drawbridges ready, floodgates on the inside, and sent my miners to channel the last tiles of land between the moats and the river.

They walked right out onto the water to dig the channels, and that's when I noticed this river was just a brook. I'd plugged every security hole in every other direction, but the direction right in front of me has been wide open the whole time.

Oh well, I think this is going to be a forgiving embark anyway. The moats still filled up and my miners have had enough practice to dig the brook deeper in short order.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rtg593 on February 08, 2015, 07:10:14 am
Finding my embark had enough magnetite, hemetite, lignite, and marble on the first level I explored (z-5, no less) to deck out 20 axedorfs in full steel everything... And watching it burn to the first goblin seige, because I forgot to prepare my defenses in my rush to equip my army.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Tilaturist on February 08, 2015, 08:31:32 am
Quote from: abysmalduke on February 06, 2015, 04:44:34 pm

A dwarf about channel out the very last bearing floor of the two tiles he is standing on. Over a pit which at this point was 5 Z-levels down to the bottom.

Which race do you have in mind when you say ETHNIC:NO_FUN:EXILE? Recreating the Trail of Tears or anything similar will create quite a ruckus among the politically correct members of this forum.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MobRules on February 08, 2015, 12:49:18 pm
I'm in the process of trying to make some soap and set up a hospital, in the meanwhile, I had an injured dorf with the inability to stand that was stuck in a hallway, being brought food and water when he got hungry or thirsty, but no one would move him. He eventually got tired of this $#!+ and went berzerk.

Turns out going berzerk cures the inability to stand.

His rampage was cut short, however, when he decided to head away from the main living area and into the trapped goblin-entrance, walking right into a cage trap. So I now have a miraculously-cured-of-crippling-injuries-but-batshit-crazy dwarf in a cage.

Edit to add: ...and someone just brought him food, so despite being berzerk, he's still eating.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ptb_ptb on February 08, 2015, 03:32:15 pm
Stupidest fortress failure:
* Don't bring any drink, because humans can drink water without bad thoughts (All Races Playable mod).
* Everybody dehydrates to death just before breaching cavern with lakes in it.

No, wait, stupidest fortress failure:
* Still don't bring any drink, because humans can drink water without bad thoughts (All Races Playable mod).
* Breach cavern with lakes in it just in time. Build up/down stairway down to the top of the lake.
* Giant toad knocks all seven dwarves into the water where they all drown.
* Still blinking blue 'thirsty!' warning signs right up until they die.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Detros on February 08, 2015, 05:09:06 pm
Quote from: ptb_ptb on February 08, 2015, 03:32:15 pm
Stupidest fortress failure:
* Don't bring any drink, because humans can drink water without bad thoughts (All Races Playable mod).
* Everybody dehydrates to death just before breaching cavern with lakes in it.

No, wait, stupidest fortress failure:
* Still don't bring any drink, because humans can drink water without bad thoughts (All Races Playable mod).
* Breach cavern with lakes in it just in time. Build up/down stairway down to the top of the lake.
* Giant toad knocks all seven dwarves into the water where they all drown.
* Still blinking blue 'thirsty!' warning signs right up until they die.
So when you push humans down the stairs they will turn into thirsty dwarves and drown? Interesting.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Professor Lemur on February 08, 2015, 05:13:41 pm
I think they mean that they forgot they were playing dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ptb_ptb on February 08, 2015, 05:18:23 pm
Quote from: Professor Lemur on February 08, 2015, 05:13:41 pm
I think they mean that they forgot they were playing dwarves.
Yep.
(http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2010/118/5/a/PEBKAC_by_zStag.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HellTiger on February 09, 2015, 01:48:56 am
Quote from: Detros on February 08, 2015, 05:09:06 pm
Quote from: ptb_ptb on February 08, 2015, 03:32:15 pm
Stupidest fortress failure:
* Don't bring any drink, because humans can drink water without bad thoughts (All Races Playable mod).
* Everybody dehydrates to death just before breaching cavern with lakes in it.

No, wait, stupidest fortress failure:
* Still don't bring any drink, because humans can drink water without bad thoughts (All Races Playable mod).
* Breach cavern with lakes in it just in time. Build up/down stairway down to the top of the lake.
* Giant toad knocks all seven dwarves into the water where they all drown.
* Still blinking blue 'thirsty!' warning signs right up until they die.
So when you push humans down the stairs they will turn into thirsty dwarves and drown? Interesting.

oh well, my dorfs never have drink. all of them have to gather plants first, and i start brew after a year, mostly no one gets mad.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ptb_ptb on February 09, 2015, 01:23:11 pm
In a "Whoops! Flooding" situation.
* Frantically order a dwarf to mine to the edge of the map.
* Get him to smooth an edge tile.
* Order him to carve fortifications.

Last message he saw:
"~ cancels carve fortifications: Dangerous terrain."

D'OH!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HawaiianJon on February 09, 2015, 04:16:12 pm
>Start up new fort named Nutsdangled
>The 7 dwarves now live in a zombie infested, thrall-cloud area.
>Find a way to get only one dwarf working, rest of them are military and trained.
>SKIP TO MIGRATION WAVE
>Dwarves live in a wooden fort/tower, top of tower consists of the residential, the food storage below them.
>ZOMBIE ATTACK OF NECROMANCER INCOMING.
>80 Fucking Goblin Zombies... 80.
>My 10 dwarves stand next to kegs saying, "Come at me, bruhs."
>During the charge, the necromancers have gotten to my refuse pile; All the skeletons of the past dead are now in the army.
>During all of this, my dwarves sit as Proficient in every skill they trained in, yet I realize that none are shooting from the gate...
>>The dwarves never equipped their metal ammo...
>>>THE DWARVES NEVER EQUIPPED FOR BATTLE, WHAT THE SHIT GUYS!?
>>>>The dwarves didn't even have crossbows for some reason, they had blowdarts! HOW!?
>>>>>Urist McDumbfuck charges in and gets instant killed, and instant zombified.
>>>>>>Cog McDumberfuck decided that he would jump off the steep pit into my upright spikes below.
>>>>>>>The other 8 just run into the main hall, and try to lock it, but the zombies find a way around the long way, due to me forgetting to lock off the roof of my farms where a tree caved in the dirt roof...
>Zombies jump in and wreck their shit, and I sit here wondering why it hasn't instantly been lost...
>Baby Cog is wandering the woods... until the horde of zombies chase him down.
>Baby follows the lemmings off the cliff.
>I am greeted to the loss screen.
>>The baby traveled a 6x6 region map distance to jump off a cliff at the end.
>>>What is life.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Detros on February 09, 2015, 04:27:57 pm
Quote from: HawaiianJon on February 09, 2015, 04:16:12 pm
>>>What is life.
Life is apparently quite a FUN.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on February 09, 2015, 06:30:19 pm
Quote from: Detros on February 09, 2015, 04:27:57 pm
Quote from: HawaiianJon on February 09, 2015, 04:16:12 pm
>>>What is life.
Life is, in a word, Fun.
FTFY
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Professor Lemur on February 09, 2015, 06:41:18 pm
I'm sure there's some sort of wise analogy about the cruelties of life, expressed through babies somehow being depressed enough to end their miserable life.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reudh on February 10, 2015, 09:41:43 pm
Quote from: MobRules on February 08, 2015, 12:49:18 pm
I'm in the process of trying to make some soap and set up a hospital, in the meanwhile, I had an injured dorf with the inability to stand that was stuck in a hallway, being brought food and water when he got hungry or thirsty, but no one would move him. He eventually got tired of this $#!+ and went berzerk.

Turns out going berzerk cures the inability to stand.

His rampage was cut short, however, when he decided to head away from the main living area and into the trapped goblin-entrance, walking right into a cage trap. So I now have a miraculously-cured-of-crippling-injuries-but-batshit-crazy dwarf in a cage.

Edit to add: ...and someone just brought him food, so despite being berzerk, he's still eating.

I don't think he'd be cured of injuries, he's probably just angry enough to drag himself along with his arms.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on February 11, 2015, 03:23:09 am
It probably does cure it, might be wnated (like with were-creatures) or a bug. Have you checked mantis?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DubDub on February 11, 2015, 07:53:11 pm
Just...
(http://i.imgur.com/l2ZkrDc.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: D34dlock on February 11, 2015, 08:33:51 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
At least dwarfs can drink from it & get good thoughts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mate888 on February 12, 2015, 09:50:19 pm
Dwarves love to run into places outside of the designated burrow to go running trought the forest, climb a mountain, descend the mountain, and enter the other half of the fort to grab a forbidden barrel.
The other half of the fort was inhabited by a furious vampire.
If I had closed the bridges this wouldn't have happened.
There goes my only gemcutter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: utunnels on February 12, 2015, 09:57:50 pm
Screw pumps are so powerful.
As soon as the dorf began to operate it, it washed him into the lake. Then a second dorf came and replaced him, then died too. Then a third...

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MobRules on February 15, 2015, 08:37:34 pm
Note to self: no matter how quickly the werelizard is killed, be sure to quarantine every dwarf that might possibly have come into contact with it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on February 16, 2015, 11:13:28 am
Quote from: MobRules on February 15, 2015, 08:37:34 pm
Note to self: no matter how quickly the werelizard is killed, be sure to quarantine every dwarf that might possibly have come into contact with it.

Further note: Consider quarantining the dwarves separately next time. Two changed, and mauled a third and her baby.  They then attacked each other and one blinded the other until the next full moon.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ajar on February 16, 2015, 11:55:56 am
I messed up my double aquifer breach, but didn't give up as I had invested a lot of time to run everything else in the fortress too. Maybe 2-3 hours.

Then I decided to do dual slit breach, but hit conglomerate. There was a GODDAMN THIRD LAYER OF AQUIFER!!! Maybe I should do more dual slit. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JellyfishGreen on February 17, 2015, 05:24:37 pm
df0.40.24 - getting back into DF after some years.
Walledcross in the year 256 was doing ok. Remote forested mountain, no enemy civs, but no water. Finally struck water in the caves at -110 depth. We had lost several injured dwarves to dehydration with no well, and more when trying to smash ice for water, hopefully that will end with our working well.

However the following cunning plan should be avoided:
Paranoid of the cave inhabitants, we built a deep barracks and gave it fortifications looking out over the cave lake. I assigned a squad to the barracks, which happened to be mostly wrestlers. I thought no more of it until I learned some wrestlers had been missing over a week.

Eventually I made the grim discovery of four drowned bodies in the cave lake, armor and all. It took somewhat longer to solve the mystery.

Dwarves can go through fortifications if thrown as part of a wrestling move. >_<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: utunnels on February 17, 2015, 10:54:07 pm
I killed the outpost liaison by mistake.
I wanted the expedition leader to kill all the crundles so I selected an large area, include the liaison who just followed him...

Reload.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Detros on February 18, 2015, 10:41:57 am
Quote from: JellyfishGreen on February 17, 2015, 05:24:37 pm
Dwarves can go through fortifications if thrown as part of a wrestling move. >_<
Old story, see 7444, "Sparring dwarves (and other creatures) can knock each other through walls with charge attacks" (http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/mantisbt/view.php?id=7444).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AzTech2064 on February 18, 2015, 12:35:47 pm
i had mine about half an hour ago...

i seriously thought that training a dragon to be a war dragon would be a good idea... well theoretical it is. i got that done in an older fortress in 34.11 together with a hydra (or at least i got that one tame enough that it didnt ran around killing my dwarfes after 10 years^^) so with the new version comes a new try at dragon taming ( still aiming for a dragon breeding fortress of firy doom) but this time i got a female one in year 2 and it ran straight in my cage traps. so at first i let it hang around in its cage for another 2 years until my animal trainer was legendary enough to even try to tame it, by the means of training every dog that reaches adulthood prior to butchering it. well that worked fine. i used all the precautions like training the dragon in an abandoned mineshaft that i seales of after the trainer in case of... well dragon rage and such. but the trainer made the job good and the dragon was "well tamed". after that i threw in a war training and thought it would be a good idea to let it lay eggs... so i build these neet little nestboxes right next to my boose stockpile and meatstockpile (you see where this is getting?) so the dragon layed 2 eggs shortly after and was still rather happy following my trainer all around, well that was until one of my cooks cooked the eggs into armok knows what. the dragon still standing around in the middle of the booze stockpile looks at her eggs beeing fryed to dragon omelett, and goes all firy doom on my stockpile... leading to a fort that can now be find somewhere on the moon... (there where about 5k of booze in that stockpile just for reference) and as i watched my fort explode i planted my head right on my desk thinking *how can someone be so dumb* well at least the civilisation got a little bit dragon lore before that happened making the next try a little easyer...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: reality.auditor on February 18, 2015, 04:07:16 pm
I doubt tamed animals care what happens to their eggs. If this story is true at all, it was probably kobold thief spotted by dragon with predictable results (friendly... wait for it... fire) or something.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AzTech2064 on February 18, 2015, 06:49:34 pm
hmmm i perhaps the dragon was not tame enough and went crazy because of too many dwarfes around or something. isnce i got no notification of any kind i dont think that it would be a kobold or goblin. he would have been seen by one of my 8 fishers^^ but when its true that animals dont react to their eggs being cooked than he has to got somehow aggressive... i mean its a dragon after all^^ god knows what pisses him off ;)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MobRules on February 18, 2015, 10:07:51 pm
Note to self: when mass re-pasturing animals indoors after the caverns are breached, try to refrain from pasturing the cage-trap gobos with them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HavingPhun on February 19, 2015, 08:46:09 pm
All of my cats are legendary climbers, that is all.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on February 19, 2015, 09:57:02 pm
Quote from: HavingPhun on February 19, 2015, 08:46:09 pm
All of my cats are legendary climbers, that is all.
They start that way. Natural skill.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HavingPhun on February 20, 2015, 09:30:08 am
Quote from: Bumber on February 19, 2015, 09:57:02 pm
Quote from: HavingPhun on February 19, 2015, 08:46:09 pm
All of my cats are legendary climbers, that is all.
They start that way. Natural skill.
I assumed it was something like that, I just thought it was a funny occurence.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: utunnels on February 21, 2015, 01:31:05 am
I didn't know you can make leather boots before. :o
I always waited until the caravan bring metal boots.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Huntthetroll on February 21, 2015, 07:27:49 pm
I just found out that mating at a distance is no longer a thing as of version 0.40.19.  So that's why my cave crocodile farm hasn't been working...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 4maskwolf on February 21, 2015, 07:29:38 pm
Quote from: utunnels on February 21, 2015, 01:31:05 am
I didn't know you can make leather boots before. :o
I always waited until the caravan bring metal boots.
Okay hold up.

How long have you been playing dwarf fortress?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Insert_Gnome_Here on February 22, 2015, 04:33:48 am
Quote from: HavingPhun on February 20, 2015, 09:30:08 am
Quote from: Bumber on February 19, 2015, 09:57:02 pm
Quote from: HavingPhun on February 19, 2015, 08:46:09 pm
All of my cats are legendary climbers, that is all.
They start that way. Natural skill.
I assumed it was something like that, I just thought it was a funny occurence.

Quote from: utunnels
I didn't know you can make leather boots before. :o
I always waited until the caravan bring metal boots.

Can't help but think about puss in boots.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AzTech2064 on February 22, 2015, 07:14:34 pm
i had one of those right now.... that moment when you find out, that you can simply mark goods for trading through holding down shif and up... i marked those for elves... EVERY SINGLE ITEM, my handy where always in cramps after marking roughly 10 bins of crafts...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bmaczero on February 22, 2015, 09:12:26 pm
Quote from: AzTech2064 on February 22, 2015, 07:14:34 pm
i had one of those right now.... that moment when you find out, that you can simply mark goods for trading through holding down shif and up... i marked those for elves... EVERY SINGLE ITEM, my handy where always in cramps after marking roughly 10 bins of crafts...
Whaaaaat?  :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on February 22, 2015, 09:36:41 pm
Quote from: AzTech2064 on February 22, 2015, 07:14:34 pm
i had one of those right now.... that moment when you find out, that you can simply mark goods for trading through holding down shif and up... i marked those for elves... EVERY SINGLE ITEM, my handy where always in cramps after marking roughly 10 bins of crafts...

It used to work that way, if i'm not mistaken.  I held shift and down, was it switched to the oppisite?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on February 23, 2015, 01:58:37 am
I think that hotkey is only in DFHack
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Meneth on February 23, 2015, 06:15:42 am
Quote from: AzTech2064 on February 22, 2015, 07:14:34 pm
i had one of those right now.... that moment when you find out, that you can simply mark goods for trading through holding down shif and up... i marked those for elves... EVERY SINGLE ITEM, my handy where always in cramps after marking roughly 10 bins of crafts...
I've made three different macros for that. Unnecessary, you say? *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AzTech2064 on February 23, 2015, 06:33:43 am
hmmm i think it works with up and down, though i haven't had time to test it, if its only dfhack... bless it!^^
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dorfs R Fun on February 25, 2015, 05:46:55 pm
Started a new fort recently. All was going well until mr werelephant shows up. In my over confidence I simply sounded the civ alert to withdraw to fortress proper thinking that my single row of cage traps would suffice. Either were-creatures are trap avoid now or there are new trap mechanics at play but suffice it to say, a werelephant can and will rip the faces off of 20 dwarves before you can say "wut da fuk?"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Magnus on February 26, 2015, 12:45:56 pm
Turns out, creatures with very high internal temperature (such as fire imps) still radiate heat from inside a cage. "Urist McCageHauler cancels Store Item in Stockpile: Head melted off."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on February 26, 2015, 04:23:28 pm
Dude, how did you catch them? I can't manage to get any of the magma critters to fall for my cage traps.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: k on February 26, 2015, 09:30:43 pm
Quote from: Magnus on February 26, 2015, 12:45:56 pm
Turns out, creatures with very high internal temperature (such as fire imps) still radiate heat from inside a cage. "Urist McCageHauler cancels Store Item in Stockpile: Head melted off."

That's very strange. Hauler doesn't touch the item he hauls. A dwarf can haul a minecart full of magma safely, and also can haul a corpse coated with poisonous blood without getting any contaminant on his hands.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on February 27, 2015, 01:58:19 am
Quote from: k on February 26, 2015, 09:30:43 pm
Quote from: Magnus on February 26, 2015, 12:45:56 pm
Turns out, creatures with very high internal temperature (such as fire imps) still radiate heat from inside a cage. "Urist McCageHauler cancels Store Item in Stockpile: Head melted off."
That's very strange. Hauler doesn't touch the item he hauls. A dwarf can haul a minecart full of magma safely, and also can haul a corpse coated with poisonous blood without getting any contaminant on his hands.
The tile might heat up fairly quickly, depending on hauling speed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Magnus on March 02, 2015, 02:44:37 am
Quote from: Bumber on February 27, 2015, 01:58:19 am
Quote from: k on February 26, 2015, 09:30:43 pm
Quote from: Magnus on February 26, 2015, 12:45:56 pm
Turns out, creatures with very high internal temperature (such as fire imps) still radiate heat from inside a cage. "Urist McCageHauler cancels Store Item in Stockpile: Head melted off."
That's very strange. Hauler doesn't touch the item he hauls. A dwarf can haul a minecart full of magma safely, and also can haul a corpse coated with poisonous blood without getting any contaminant on his hands.
The tile might heat up fairly quickly, depending on hauling speed.

I'm building *cough*shameless plug*cough* Ilrom Ziril, an epic community fortress around a volcano (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=148021.0), and it turns out, if you drop anything into a volcano that's solid enough to reach the bottom then you awaken the Fire Imps, which will begin their slow journey to the surface and climb out of the crater in a few months.

I noticed that there was a trail of blood behind the dwarf carrying the cage and checked her stat page, which said "Her head is melted.", and I'm positive she hadn't been near any heat sources before that. She had stats like "incredibly weak, very flimsy", so that might be a prerequisite. A tougher dwarf was able to haul the cage quite a bit further without any symptoms, but he might have succumbed too eventually.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DukeGod on March 04, 2015, 10:09:14 am
I started walling the outside of my fortress entrance into something resembling a castle, both to guard my new attempts at tree farming areas and such. I thought myself lucky, since I started close to what I thought was a perfectly nice mountain, that surely would mean I didn't need to wall in that direction

So, I start from the "mountain" and wall around...

And then a wagon comes straight through the mountains walls. I check one z-level up, and find out, I haven't actually been with my backs toward a mountain, just some ramps...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Morsion on March 04, 2015, 09:21:32 pm
Sent Unarmed Dwarf's To Fight A FB.... Forgot To Arm Them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thisfox on March 05, 2015, 01:25:59 am
Quote from: Morsion on March 04, 2015, 09:21:32 pm
Sent Unarmed Dwarf's To Fight A FB.... Forgot To Arm Them.

That has happened to me once. Well, something like it. I sent them out armed... the FB unarmed them.

Led to a lot of "Urist McArmless cancels pick up dwarf arm: No hands" types of comments.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 4maskwolf on March 05, 2015, 06:20:14 pm
Quote from: Thisfox on March 05, 2015, 01:25:59 am
Quote from: Morsion on March 04, 2015, 09:21:32 pm
Sent Unarmed Dwarf's To Fight A FB.... Forgot To Arm Them.

That has happened to me once. Well, something like it. I sent them out armed... the FB unarmed them.

Led to a lot of "Urist McArmless cancels pick up dwarf arm: No hands" types of comments.
Hehehe.

I once had a cave crocidile snap off, with incredible precision, the both hands of the migrant pump operator who encountered it, leaving said dwarf otherwise in good health.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: icer667 on March 06, 2015, 07:27:01 pm
Made my kitchen into an area with fortifications for windows. Was planning to lure the invaders into the main dining hall, then have my crossbowmen fire at them. But, I forgot to forbid the door INTO the meeting hall, so my zero melee experienced military charged the superior force with blunt objects.


The militia was massacred.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uzu Bash on March 06, 2015, 10:33:37 pm
Saw a miner standing around with No Job, and looked over the level to see unmined designations. So I started loading him up with jobs that I usually take miners off of ("You can start hauling those rocks you've been leaving behind!") and check later, still No Job. So I called him to attention and checked to see if he was equipped. He wasn't, because he'd just dropped everything when I activated him as a soldier. The reason he had No Job was because he was stuck down a mineshaft I'd half-designated, but thought I left disconnected from everything else.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gregor Samsdwarf on March 07, 2015, 08:08:47 am
Two of my elite soldiers got killed by training spears because I had ordered a uniform change while they were training in the danger room.  ::)
The stripped naked on the spot and were promptly impaled  :-X
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Detros on March 07, 2015, 08:40:52 am
Quote from: Gregor Samsdwarf on March 07, 2015, 08:08:47 am
Two of my elite soldiers got killed by training spears because I had ordered a uniform change while they were training in the danger room.  ::)
The stripped naked on the spot and were promptly impaled  :-X
That's the whole point of danger rooms, isn't it? "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger", eh? I guess it didn't make them stronger this time...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thisfox on March 07, 2015, 04:22:16 pm
Quote from: Detros on March 07, 2015, 08:40:52 am
Quote from: Gregor Samsdwarf on March 07, 2015, 08:08:47 am
Two of my elite soldiers got killed by training spears because I had ordered a uniform change while they were training in the danger room.  ::)
The stripped naked on the spot and were promptly impaled  :-X
That's the whole point of danger rooms, isn't it? "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger", eh? I guess it didn't make them stronger this time...

They forgot their Safeword?

Plus of course: "No making nookie in the Danger Room!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uzu Bash on March 08, 2015, 07:29:30 pm
Everyone got upset about a dead gorlak, so I had him stockpiled out of the way. For over a year, people still freaked out going past that floor, and I dismissed them as overly sensitive. While trying to get rocks dumped from the room I noticed his teeth still there, forbidden under a chunk of diorite. I might never have seen them. But was all this drama over a couple gorlak teeth necessary?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: duleshna on March 09, 2015, 08:22:52 am
Just recently learned why making stone blocks is useful. They weigh a ton less.
...
Been watching the poor dwarfs slaving their butts off slowly carrying regular rocks to my buildings and whatnot across the map until this point...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 3x3 on March 10, 2015, 08:28:03 am
Cave troll killed a child, another one saw the body. Much later the child started to hit other dwarfs, everything ended in a massive fight with some kills. Pretty sad.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thisfox on March 10, 2015, 02:50:26 pm
Quote from: duleshna on March 09, 2015, 08:22:52 am
Just recently learned why making stone blocks is useful. They weigh a ton less.
...
Been watching the poor dwarfs slaving their butts off slowly carrying regular rocks to my buildings and whatnot across the map until this point...

They also, reputedly (I've not done any ☼science☼ on it) make smoother walls. So that things that aren't legendary at climbing might have a harder time climbing the structures.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uzu Bash on March 10, 2015, 06:40:41 pm
Quote from: Thisfox on March 10, 2015, 02:50:26 pm
Quote from: duleshna on March 09, 2015, 08:22:52 am
Just recently learned why making stone blocks is useful. They weigh a ton less.
...
Been watching the poor dwarfs slaving their butts off slowly carrying regular rocks to my buildings and whatnot across the map until this point...

They also, reputedly (I've not done any ☼science☼ on it) make smoother walls. So that things that aren't legendary at climbing might have a harder time climbing the structures.
I can testify from adventurer experience, they are much more difficult than rough rock. With High Master Climbing I could practice by dropping down a keep's outer walls (rough rock) with rarely a miss, never enough to cause injury. I tried that from the keep's walls (smooth rock,) missed the second catch, then missed all of 8 lvls the rest of the way down. After that I tried them more carefully, but still missed 1/3 rather than 1/10 with rough walls. At that level I still could still climb them at a decent rate, but one miss usually leads to another all the way down.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Manivald on March 11, 2015, 01:15:23 am
In my first fortress, I built the entrance to the caverns directly by the 'highway' of the fortress. A few moments later, a group of gorlaks snuk past the cage traps, and migrated into the fortress. Shortly, they started wrestling everione in sight and because my shit-ass milita just stood there, it all ended in a massive orgy of vomit, teeth and unconcious dwarves, that took a bloody month to clean up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sanctume on March 11, 2015, 10:58:06 am
Just did a Terrifying Glacier (no Aquifer) embark, 1 Pick + 1 Anvil, No skills, self-challenge.
Managed to dig in to safety from Undead Polar Bear.
Found cavern with water, trees, and lots of ramp extending 8-z.
By Summer, Herbalist got some booze and food. 
A troll is nearby, and managed to somehow get inside despite having a cage set in the 1-tile that surely anything will get trapped.
But the troll kinda just hang out my 1x1 central stairs. I managed to put cage traps surrounding troll, and eventually captured it when it decided to move. Great!

Uh oh, a GCS is nearby in the SE.  I have most of the choke point up the W ramps with cage traps.  I cancelled other cage traps on the far NE of the map edge.

Then I /facepalm.  I noticed I set a cage, not a cage trap on that 1 tile entry to my fortress.
Then I gambled that I can put 2 cage traps (1 on the north tile, and 1 on the south) next to it and can function to capture that choke point.
Looking good, north tile is caged. south tile has mechanism is in progress...
No! GCS smelled prey and moved 8+ tiles closer. 
Oh crap, go Inside (burrow) now!
Too late, GCS scratches Mechanic only but got stunned.
Herbalist flee south, away from the north tile trap!
Web spews all over.
GCS kills Mechanic and Herbalist. At which point, everyone is put in the No Uniform squad.
I managed to kill GCS, with lots of injuries.  Some dwarf is still stuck in the web outside... with corpses.

I save quit at that point. I think these will re-animate soon, including the GCS.  I wonder if undead GCS will still spew webs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sanctume on March 11, 2015, 11:02:28 am
Quote from: Thisfox on March 10, 2015, 02:50:26 pm
Quote from: duleshna on March 09, 2015, 08:22:52 am
Just recently learned why making stone blocks is useful. They weigh a ton less.
...
Been watching the poor dwarfs slaving their butts off slowly carrying regular rocks to my buildings and whatnot across the map until this point...

They also, reputedly (I've not done any ☼science☼ on it) make smoother walls. So that things that aren't legendary at climbing might have a harder time climbing the structures.

They do.
Natural Walls, carved smoothed = impossible to climb.
Constructed Walls, made from blocks = very hard to climb but not impossible.
Constructed Walls, made from stones or logs = climb-able
Natural Walls, stone or dirt, untouched = climb-able
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Detros on March 11, 2015, 12:01:34 pm
Quote from: Sanctume on March 11, 2015, 10:58:06 am
...
I save quit at that point. I think these will re-animate soon, including the GCS.  I wonder if undead GCS will still spew webs.
Undead webs!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Tilaturist on March 11, 2015, 01:54:44 pm
Quote from: Sanctume on March 11, 2015, 11:02:28 am
They do.
Natural Walls, carved smoothed = impossible to climb.
Constructed Walls, made from blocks = very hard to climb but not impossible.
Constructed Walls, made from stones or logs = climb-able
Natural Walls, stone or dirt, untouched = climb-able

This system makes no damned sense, but I expect it will eventually be fixed. The difference between natural and constructed stone should go eventually as well. Climbing a vertical wall of not smoothed but very crumbly stone or dirt would be much harder than climbing a typical brick or block wall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Walrusking on March 11, 2015, 02:32:53 pm
A woodcutter having his body mangled after a tree fell on him... 2 minutes after the embark.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tiruin on March 11, 2015, 02:49:35 pm
Quote from: Urist Tilaturist on March 11, 2015, 01:54:44 pm
Quote from: Sanctume on March 11, 2015, 11:02:28 am
They do.
Natural Walls, carved smoothed = impossible to climb.
Constructed Walls, made from blocks = very hard to climb but not impossible.
Constructed Walls, made from stones or logs = climb-able
Natural Walls, stone or dirt, untouched = climb-able

This system makes no damned sense, but I expect it will eventually be fixed. The difference between natural and constructed stone should go eventually as well. Climbing a vertical wall of not smoothed but very crumbly stone or dirt would be much harder than climbing a typical brick or block wall.
How does this make no sense? It seems very reasonable to me, once you consider how architecture and natural rock-creation is.
Natural, smoothed walls have little areas to hold or grasp at.
Constructed-block walls have very minor and subtle areas for grasping and vertical scaling.
'Rough' stone walls or logs have spaces for the hands--though subtle in difference to constructed block walls, may still have the differencial gap, very common in times before our modern knowledge...
And natural walls are assumed to not have either an overhang, or a perpendicular slope, with much irregularity in surface texture to aid manual climbing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Tilaturist on March 11, 2015, 06:25:56 pm
It makes no sense because a natural wall can be smooth or rough, and a constructed wall can be more or less smooth depending on how it is mortared together, if it is mortared. There are also the problems of surfaces crumbling, which can make otherwise easy looking climbs horribly dangerous (climbing a mudstone cliff known for landslides is not a good idea).

I agree that smoothed walls are harder to climb, but scaling a stone block and mortar wall may be easier than scaling a horribly sheer and crumbly natural cliff face.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on March 11, 2015, 10:16:43 pm
Do a Google image search on "boulder wall" and "smooth stone wall" and I think you'll get an idea of the intended difference between using natural stones (i.e. boulders of irregular shape dug out of the ground) verses stone blocks (i.e. stones which have been shaped by tools and dwarven skill to fit together smoothly and seamlessly, mortar or no. Of course, you can cherry pick those images for specific ones that might coincide with your opinion, but the overall trend is: boulder walls have large and simple hand and footholds, whereas smoothed stone has, at best, fingerholds and toeholds.

The idea seems to me to be: "hey lets use these stones and throw together a wall" (perfectly valid for a variety of uses) verses "hey, lets carefully craft this wall to be smooth and to fit together without gaps." Defense minded wall builders have noted the difference for thousands of years.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xana55 on March 11, 2015, 10:33:32 pm
I tried to move a necromancer to the execution chamber... forgot to clean the execution chamber first. Not one of my finer moments.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sanctume on March 12, 2015, 09:55:23 am
A blessing in disguise that my last save and quit won't load.  I do have a manual save when new seasons kick in.
So Day 1 Summer in my Terrifying Glacier, 1-pick + anvil, self-challenge.
Cavern was breached, pastured the 2 wagon animals, some booze and food made.
My earlier facepalm of setting down a cage instead of cage trap is corrected.
Nothing in the caverns according to the u screen.

So, gave 4 of my 7 mechanic to expedite cage traps.  Miner removed ramps to increase traffic to trapped choke points.

Migrants! 3 adults + 1 kid + 1 yak calf.  Undead Yeti on surface is a bit far away, unlocked hatch and let them in. 
Hurray! An idea formed to use yak calf pastured as bait for my cagetraps, outside the fort proper.

Uh oh, Troll (Deceased) in the u screen.  Some time later, GCS is on radar!
Checked Inside burrow, to add my Trader Depot on z-1.
Added Outside burrow to access pastures and yak calf trap some z+3 above my cavern entrance.

GCS is near, but disappeared in radar.  I was following it, but it went out of range.
Then I see battle report, GCS fighting the yak calf!  Burrow Inside only!  Too late, GCS injected venom on the calf.

Sigh, ok, pasture Two-Humped Camel on 1 tile outside cavern hatch, surely to attack GCS into 1-tile path of cage traps.

/facepalm. This time I Follow GCS, and well it's a spider, duh, climbing and moving z+8 above.  Jumping and moving between tree tops and walls.
It can easily skip my ramp choke points on the ground.

Ahh, but it sensed my camel bait.  It actually swung around from the SW to the far east, swam down 3 tiles of 7/7 water onto my NW flank.
Good thing I have a cage traps in those 1 tile choke points, and captured a CGS before Autumn.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Tilaturist on March 12, 2015, 11:30:11 am
Quote from: Ozarck on March 11, 2015, 10:16:43 pm
Do a Google image search on "boulder wall" and "smooth stone wall" and I think you'll get an idea of the intended difference between using natural stones (i.e. boulders of irregular shape dug out of the ground) verses stone blocks (i.e. stones which have been shaped by tools and dwarven skill to fit together smoothly and seamlessly, mortar or no. Of course, you can cherry pick those images for specific ones that might coincide with your opinion, but the overall trend is: boulder walls have large and simple hand and footholds, whereas smoothed stone has, at best, fingerholds and toeholds.

The idea seems to me to be: "hey lets use these stones and throw together a wall" (perfectly valid for a variety of uses) verses "hey, lets carefully craft this wall to be smooth and to fit together without gaps." Defense minded wall builders have noted the difference for thousands of years.

A boulder wall is still constructed. I was referring to natural stone faces which are already there when dwarves arrive. A stone block wall is harder to climb than a boulder wall, but natural stone faces can be smooth or rough.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on March 12, 2015, 10:02:50 pm
Quote from: Urist Tilaturist on March 12, 2015, 11:30:11 am
A boulder wall is still constructed. I was referring to natural stone faces which are already there when dwarves arrive. A stone block wall is harder to climb than a boulder wall, but natural stone faces can be smooth or rough.
Fair enough. Though, in the hills from which I come, they (natural stone 'walls') do tend to be pretty rough. Of course, there are plenty of places only a skilled climber would go, too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist Tilaturist on March 13, 2015, 11:50:02 am
Quote from: Ozarck on March 12, 2015, 10:02:50 pm
Fair enough. Though, in the hills from which I come, they (natural stone 'walls') do tend to be pretty rough. Of course, there are plenty of places only a skilled climber would go, too.

El Capitan, for example. Few would say that it was constructed by dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uzu Bash on March 13, 2015, 12:28:19 pm
I had long mocked the lack of progress of one of my units, but while I was switching out armors for newly available ones, I noticed they were wearing an incomplete version of the city guard armor.

The captain wasn't even equipped with the gear he had when he left the elite unit, and the guy I handed the whip to, who showed 0 skill after 6 months, hadn't been wielding it. The rest had nothing but shield. They had been guarding the entrance with bone armor, leather, and wooden shields this whole time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skullsploder on March 14, 2015, 02:06:45 pm
Quote from: Uzu Bash on March 13, 2015, 12:28:19 pm
I had long mocked the lack of progress of one of my units, but while I was switching out armors for newly available ones, I noticed they were wearing an incomplete version of the city guard armor.

The captain wasn't even equipped with the gear he had when he left the elite unit, and the guy I handed the whip to, who showed 0 skill after 6 months, hadn't been wielding it. The rest had nothing but shield. They had been guarding the entrance with bone armor, leather, and wooden shields this whole time.

Yeah that's something I really dislike about the uniform priorities - The captain of your second squad is ranked lower than the 10th recruit in your first squad in terms of equipment priorities. I manually equip my captains most of the time, as that ensures they get the stuff they're meant to get.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: toa697 on March 14, 2015, 02:56:25 pm
I had a really bad face palm just today when I was attempting to figure out why my drink was dwindling in the hundreds while my still was working full time.

I had accidentally set it to extract from plant instead of brew and it had been left that way ever sense the last spring. its almost the end of the year right now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Adragis on March 14, 2015, 04:06:00 pm
I was trying to role play as an assassin, and after I took down two guys at once with a multitrack neckstab, I began batting arrows out of the air, etc. etc. while I went after this goblin bandit leader.
Some random goblin tanner or something stabbed me in the leg and I fell over, at which the gobbo leader smashed my head in with a hammer. Turns out I'd never put any armour on my legs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jrrocks1 on March 14, 2015, 04:38:07 pm
Dude
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sanctume on March 16, 2015, 10:44:39 am
Started with a small 11x11 above ground walls for the Depot, then covered the 30x20 pasture around my 3x3 central stairs.
I have lots of logs in this wilderness embark, so I made the walls 2-z high. 

Hmm, sapplings are growing around the wall perimeters, so instead of using constructed floors at 1 log each, I opt for constucted road using 1 log for 3 tiles, or 3 logs for 10 tiles (a great discount!)

A goblin siege, 1 trapped while 2 stuck waiting on the south ramp entrance.
2 trapped while 3 stuck waiting on the west ramp entrance.

A titan, blob of flame arrives in the west.

At first, titan chased and shoot fireballs at a herd of kangaroos roaming SW.
The chase pathed the entire SW to SE, fire ablazed!

After the herd, titan path's toward my fortress, sees the goblins on the south, torched the wooden cage trap and eventually the goblin got freed only to get burned. 
I have minimal military, opting for a tunnel and bridge of cage traps in my NE.   But no one is visiting there!

/facepalm, in my awe at the fireballs vs kangaroo, I forgot I left the hatch unlocked to invite the goblins to path in. Doh!

Lots of smoke in the south but no path anymore, and titan eventually swung west to the other goblins.
It burnt 3 more, but ignored the 2 caged ones?

/facepalm 2, there's still another hatch that is not forbidden in the west, not it is inside the pasture.
Wolverine (tamed) goes aflame!  other beasts run north towards my tunnel/bridge cage traps.

In desperation, my 1 Axe, 1 Mace, 1 Spear, 1 Miner, and 4 Xbow recruits are mobilized.
2 bolts and the blob is gone.  No kill count.  Just that the bolts hits tearing tissue.  Twice and blob is gone. 

/facepalm 3, and when I thought I was safe, the 1 tile roads around my perimeter started burning. 
But at least the walls and fortifications are indestructible.  Just lots of smoke.

However, I spent the next 3 seasons getting spammed by "something in the surface collapsed."
Now only is the fire spreading all around me, it is burning on the z+ and collapsing tall trees.
I have at least 10 tile tree-less perimeter though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grim Holiday on March 18, 2015, 07:53:15 am
Accidentally let out a goblin lasher from a recent siege in the barracks. Managed to kill four of my military dwarves before a hammerdwarf had enough, turned round and smacked him the face with his silver warhammer. Bad times.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DeusTempestas on March 19, 2015, 06:45:06 pm
Not forbidding the collection of dead dwarfs until the bronze titan was gone. They all marched into the dwarfgrinder til it was just the two year old mayor left.  :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: whatever1works on March 20, 2015, 01:42:51 am
Got a zombie undead siege.

Cool Cool i got this... Oh wait, thats right the mechanic didn't link the new bridge (old one was tantrumed) to the lever in the hall... so there's a brigde but no way to close it.

Welp, its a good thing i prepare for this sort of thing. I've got the fort entrance staircase closed with hatch covers..... except, one is missing?
Oh great, looks like that got tantrumed too and i didn't see over all the blood, -pig tails socks- and blocks.

Haha good one urist. Ok, well at least i can seal off the main meeting hall (i mean we'll save most at least) because i put doors there too.

Oh what's that you tell me? You destroyed that too?

..
...


WELLL THAN YOU DESERVE TO DIE. PEACE OUT MORONS.
*Facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: utunnels on March 20, 2015, 01:52:11 am
Haha, maybe you can sacrifice your military so they have time to build a new door...or wall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: slinger342 on March 22, 2015, 04:07:00 pm
So after building my hospital, I decided to build a fairly simple Well next to it which was controlled by some levers/flood gates. I finished building the water holding room and turned off the flood gates and proceeded to build the well. After about a minute, i completely forgot to turn off the floodgate and the water poured into the hospital, drowning all the incapacitated patients.

The Funniest part about the whole thing was that one of my doctors was in there at the time and thought it would be a better idea to save all the cloth and soap before even considering to rescue his patients.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HawaiianJon on March 22, 2015, 07:23:15 pm
Regarding a certain incident, I am animating this scenario as a fake advertisement for my Economics class (High School version)

I had a murky pool turned into a giant pit to hold water above ground, and there was a well for it that I suspended at the end of the wooden bridge that just was in the middle of the pit.
At one point, 4 dwarves were walking across the bridge when suddenly, Urist McMoodswing goes berserk and punches one of them and the punched one falls off the bridge, into the pit and drowns.
After that, the military dwarf with them knocks HIM off, and soon after realized he just killed his wife over a long time of stress, and goes melancholy. The last dwarf for no reason strips and starts running around babbling, setting off a lever that melted about 30 dwarves who were out on log gathering duty outside the walls which was booby trapped with a recyclable lava flow.
After losing about 1/5 of the fort within a minute, I then had a siege occur, with the gate open by the nude anomaly that is Cog Mirrorednuts, I sat and watched as the goblins start rushing in.
I then watched as my candy mining operation accidently broke open the circus and then ordered all the dwarves to gather in The Vault (where I keep the small amount of extra food in case of such an event, because this is DF.)
Only 3 dwarves made it down to the burrow and sealed it off with the log dedicated to seal the passage until needed.
One moment later:
The only dwarves left are the three in The Vault. One is a Military guy, a farmer, and a newly migrated siege operator. The Siege Operator decides, "Hey, right now would be a good idea to go berserk." And attacked my Military dwarf with the pick I assigned for him to mine with.
One fight and a lost arm later, I assign the Farmer to become a doctor to try and clean the wound, only for the military dude to bleed out from the various other cuts and broken limbs, and the farmer is left alone, the only dwarf, and I watch as a month passes, food ran out, and about a years worth of water remaining (A poor estimate, but hey, ya never know)
Migrants come in and I immediately order the farmer to unblock the door, despite any danger. The farmer meets with the migrants in the meeting hall and eats immediately.
Then the what used to be the Goblin Massacre Bronze Colossus that was caged, busts through the door and charges at my dwarves. In this moment, I imagine that the migrants slowly raised their fists toward the Colossus (Who I imagined to be Barba from SotC). I ordered the coward to run to the Fort Destruct device and watched as everything imploded. The Colossus chased and murdered the dwarves outside (The Hall was the entrance to the entire fort.)

Only later when I came back did I remember the Colossus survived. That group of Humans (I modded the game to have humans be playable and an above-ground version of the dwarves.) only survived for about 25 seconds or so.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PDF urist master on March 23, 2015, 07:53:00 am
i suddenly had a problem where the entire metal industry shut down. no melting, no strand extraction, no smithing. I spent a good hour trying to figure out the problem, it turns out I accidentally destroyed the ramps leading down to half the fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 20firebird on March 27, 2015, 03:07:46 am
I don't have any fort mode moments, oddly enough, so I hope other stuff is okay.
It took me quite some time to realize I could add/remove things to/from backpacks without dropping things in adventure mode. I spent a good deal of time dropping and picking up items to move things from hand to backpack.
And, a modding related one, I finally figured out that my seemingly perfectly fine entity file wasn't working because I forgot the opening text.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: k9wazere on March 31, 2015, 12:03:44 pm
Vengeful dwarves are insane. The pinacle of insane.

Embark in a zombie biome. Two peasants catch site of a Giant Zombie Grasshopper (aka murder incarnate), and decide they fancy their odds in a fist fight. The miner gets the same idea. Said grasshopper is actually leaving them alone, because...

...it's on the other side of a freakin' river. So the dorfs proceed to dive into the river to get to the zombie. One drowns in the river. The other two provide a quick snack for the (giant) zombie.

All together now... /facepalm. Three needless deaths.

Amazingly, the two military dorfs totally ignored the thing. You know, the chaps with armour and weapons.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DAPARROT on April 02, 2015, 01:21:34 pm
Quote from: PDF urist master on March 23, 2015, 07:53:00 am
i suddenly had a problem where the entire metal industry shut down. no melting, no strand extraction, no smithing. I spent a good hour trying to figure out the problem, it turns out I accidentally destroyed the ramps leading down to half the fort.
thats what just happened to me,exept it was just half my fortress( and all of my miners) stuck in my soon to be underground aviary.I ignored the cancellation spam because I thought it was just the two miners stuck in the caverns.(it was why they were stuck,because they couldn't path to food)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dwarf_Fever on April 04, 2015, 05:04:38 pm
Quote from: k9wazere on March 31, 2015, 12:03:44 pm
Vengeful dwarves are insane. The pinacle of insane.

Embark in a zombie biome. Two peasants catch site of a Giant Zombie Grasshopper (aka murder incarnate), and decide they fancy their odds in a fist fight. The miner gets the same idea. Said grasshopper is actually leaving them alone, because...

...it's on the other side of a freakin' river. So the dorfs proceed to dive into the river to get to the zombie. One drowns in the river. The other two provide a quick snack for the (giant) zombie.

All together now... /facepalm. Three needless deaths.

Amazingly, the two military dorfs totally ignored the thing. You know, the chaps with armour and weapons.

Just curious, can dwarves swim in armor?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: doublestrafe on April 05, 2015, 01:41:03 pm
It's year 2 of the fortress, and I'm at 48 dwarves. I've got 8 recruits in the military, and steel armor is just starting to come off the production line. So aside from the fact that I can lock myself down, I'm not really prepared for the necromancer siege that shows up.

Still, I'm in pretty good shape. The fort is airtight, I've got all kinds of metal, and my cage traps already picked off two stealth necromancers that are going to be really useful later. So it seems to me that it makes sense to sit there and build enough cage traps to pen the entire siege, about 50 zombies, so I'll have some toys to play with once I get my necro arena up.

So I carve out a long L-shaped tunnel, put drawbridges at both ends, and build a huge load of cages. When it's ready, I station my fledgling military two z-levels down and way at the north end of the map, and dig a ramp to the surface way at the south end. The miner successfully opens the passage up and heads back toward safety, and the legions of the dead start shambling in.

And here comes the goddamn cavalry. One by one, the recruits charge down the corridor, despite their station orders, despite the fact that they have no earthly way of knowing the undead are there. They don't stand a chance.

Turns out I left an armor stand out front of the main entrance and they were allowed to train there. I guess despite the Station order, they just decided they were going to get to that kicking demonstration by any means necessary.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HawaiianJon on April 06, 2015, 09:55:07 pm
I modded humans to be playable and pretty much equal to the Dwarves (Its something I like to have because it makes me feel like I am working on two sides of a story at once, one side is Human, one side is Dwarven.
Its funny to see how it always comes down to how the elves must die.

So I sent them to a 1x1 space.
Everything was going well until the trader wouldn't give me a damn pickaxe.
In anger, I tried punching them in the face with Macho Man (Squad) Randy Savage (Nickname).


And just like that, I lost the fort.
And I was like, eh.
So I started up next to a mountain as Human again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dug on April 09, 2015, 12:41:51 pm
I started a new fort after not playing for a while. I used a drawbridge as the gate to my fort so when it retracts it forms a wall. Unfortunately that didn't quite work as planned as when I ordered the lever to be pulled it vanished into thin air. At the same time there was a gigantic were-something attacking my fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lexyvil on April 10, 2015, 11:18:04 am
I tried to get rid of some side of a hill to expand my flat surfaced terrain (where my fortress is).

The method I used to get rid of the hill was awkward after knowing it didn't work: I dug under it, thinking the hill would collapse after channelling a line in each Z-layer and disconnecting part of the unwanted hill from the main terrain, but after digging, the hill somehow floated in the air (I think?). I'll have to check my game again, but it could be that I missed something.

Now I'm trying to dig/channel the remnants of the floating mini side of the hill, but every time I do so, the miner attempting to do the job collapses with part of the hill with still more floating island remains. I should have dug from top to bottom rather than the other way around, that's for sure.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sirbug on April 10, 2015, 03:19:37 pm
Lots of dwarves are found drowned in underground lake. I wonder what happened. Did they dodge there?

Lots of them are military.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on April 10, 2015, 05:54:53 pm
Quote from: Sirbug on April 10, 2015, 03:19:37 pm
Lots of dwarves are found drowned in underground lake. I wonder what happened. Did they dodge there?

Lots of them are military.
Probably tripping on 'shrooms. They decide to hang onto them until they lose their grip, then they fall into the water, get stunned, and drown. Seen it happen to cave animals and surface dwarves. Trees: Still deadly even when not falling.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sirbug on April 11, 2015, 01:38:15 am
I've just got a migrant who is a pikemaster. So naturally, he armed himself with a sword.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Detros on April 11, 2015, 03:34:32 am
Quote from: Dug on April 09, 2015, 12:41:51 pm
I started a new fort after not playing for a while. I used a drawbridge as the gate to my fort so when it retracts it forms a wall. Unfortunately that didn't quite work as planned as when I ordered the lever to be pulled it vanished into thin air. At the same time there was a gigantic were-something attacking my fort.
You have built retracting bridge instead of raising one. Better to test it before attackers appear.

Quote from: Lexyvil on April 10, 2015, 11:18:04 am
I tried to get rid of some side of a hill to expand my flat surfaced terrain (where my fortress is).

The method I used to get rid of the hill was awkward after knowing it didn't work: I dug under it, thinking the hill would collapse after channelling a line in each Z-layer and disconnecting part of the unwanted hill from the main terrain, but after digging, the hill somehow floated in the air (I think?). I'll have to check my game again, but it could be that I missed something.

Now I'm trying to dig/channel the remnants of the floating mini side of the hill, but every time I do so, the miner attempting to do the job collapses with part of the hill with still more floating island remains. I should have dug from top to bottom rather than the other way around, that's for sure.
Try checking multilevel trees.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Crabs on April 14, 2015, 12:12:04 am
Constructed the "golden diving board of joy".
Badically a 4 Z tiles high stair with a bridge ontop. made mostly of gold. Unwanted nobles stand there and then a lever is pulled, letting them fall into a pit that's immediately after that closed with floorgrates. Unfortunately the mayor somehow kept changing flight directions the first 3 tries And he jumped face first into the dirt -.-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ianflow on April 14, 2015, 01:53:01 am
So I thought it'd be fun to reinstall DF recently
I got my dorf therapist and dfhack, and genned a world, found a really awesome embark area (sure it's a relatively flat area, but it's still a great area)

Then remembered
I have to re-edit raws to play like I normally do

Oh and reinstall lazy newb pack to get ahold of some of the better mods
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dark One on April 14, 2015, 03:22:31 pm
Wrong thread!

*Facepalms*
Title: trouser minotoar
Post by: jaw2233 on April 14, 2015, 03:24:08 pm
i have 2 stories, i had just started my new fortress when it said that my wood cutter had gone missing. i went ahead and checked the combat log, he apparently got hit in the neck with a log(featherwood ironically) and blew an artery! later in the end days my fortress was almost a metroplolis when all of the sudden the minotaur that my military had been staring at while he constantly passed out instead of fighting, picked up some trousers and beat everything to death with pantaloons. PANTALOONS! :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on April 14, 2015, 05:12:12 pm
I recently collapsed about a 50x50 square of ceiling on a couple dwarves. The intent was to expand the underground tree farm. I forgot a support.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on April 14, 2015, 05:40:51 pm
Irresponsible deconstruction of some scaffolding knocked a legendary mason down an eerie glowing pit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skuggen on April 15, 2015, 07:52:17 am
I put the corpse stockpile on the wrong side of the 50% evil embark area.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Adragis on April 15, 2015, 07:58:58 am
I was playing adventure mode, and this happened
Oh hi there titan
*checks description*
what you're a slug made of water that breathes deadly dust?
what a noob
I can block dust with my shield
*is absolutely pasted by what appears to be cave-in dust which I can vey definitely not block with my shield*
whoops
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: utunnels on April 18, 2015, 01:21:16 am
I tried to use dfhack's quicksave command but the command line box brought up die command instead(I pressed the up arrow key)...
And my progess died with it.


Edit*

Fine, the save was before my expedition leader was beaten up by a giant olm. At least I can save a crutch.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Twinwolf on April 18, 2015, 10:05:36 am
Got a siege in an early fortress. Locked up the fort, but they just WOULD. NOT. LEAVE. Veritable army of antmen in the cavern. Had the bright idea of making them fight each other. That didn't happen, and while digging the tunnel to the surface I forgot to seal up the hole in the wall back into the fortress.

The only survivor was the bookkeeper who was locked in her office.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: YomToxic on April 18, 2015, 04:48:13 pm
Step 1) Build water jet cutter in goblin entry hallway.
Step 2) Forget to seal off the main tank.
Step 3) Not notice until the main tanks overload and flood 2/3ds of the fortress (too busy digging a spiral hole).

AUGH! This will take forever to clean!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on April 19, 2015, 10:55:38 am
I just found out you can build free-hanging upward slopes. Derp
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kumquat on April 20, 2015, 12:43:30 am

My manager/broker/bookkeeper fell from a tree and smashed an ankle and was put into traction.

Now my CMD is a legendary diagnostician.

Damn keas.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheKaspa on April 20, 2015, 10:02:28 am
Oh, my dorf are stressed... let's improve the mood of the ones with the negative level of stress, I don't want them to go nuts!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rince Wind on April 20, 2015, 11:46:09 am
I forgot dwarves throw dumped items into a hole if it is directly adjacent to the dumpzone. Too bad that this hole was also the way out of my soon to be plumbing, so a lot of dorfs came from there with more stuff to dump. Even though it was only one z-level, two dorfs got killed by rocks and another three recieved major injuries. At least the hospital was ready (apart from the wells, obviously, oh, and I needed to make a traction bench for one of the injured ones.).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SyrusLD on April 20, 2015, 05:51:43 pm
One of my last embarks put me on thin ice off the shore ...
(http://i.imgur.com/Y4bbmbZ.png)
I still wonder how they even got out there with that wagon.

And I wonder how I was supposed to them back on land without anyone(/everyone) drowning.


(Didn't like the whole region, so I didn't even try to save them.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Meneth on April 21, 2015, 09:04:45 am
I think you could've used the logs from the wagon to build a 9x1 bridge.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wuthmar of Nidavellr on April 21, 2015, 01:31:22 pm
I built a wall and a retracting bridge after a small encounter with a large beast. After I finished the construction, some migrants walked over the river with no problem. Naturally, as I am new to this, I built this over a BROOK. So anything could get in anyways!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bigcalm on April 21, 2015, 05:30:48 pm
Dumping the remains of a fiery forgotten beast is a bad idea if you've previously put a lot of flammable rendered fat there.

Lots of livestock got incinerated.  Lots of stockade bridges got destroyed.

However, FPS has increased to a whopping 15FPS now!  Go fire!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on April 21, 2015, 09:26:35 pm
Quote from: Meneth on April 21, 2015, 09:04:45 am
I think you could've used the logs from the wagon to build a 9x1 bridge.
Or mined out some of the ice to build one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: utunnels on April 21, 2015, 09:40:43 pm
Just be careful. For some reason dorfs have a habit to fall from a 1xn narrow bridge.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tarqiup Inua on April 24, 2015, 10:48:58 am
Smoothing the ice would have been enough, structures don't collapse if their support melts during summer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: spazyak on April 25, 2015, 03:34:53 pm
I had a dwarf get bit by a were bison. I put him in the hospital and blocked the entrances, at one child dwarf got stuck in it and didn't get killed when he changed oddly enough, and later starved. I went to replace one of the walls with a fortification so my archer squad could kill him, My best archers wandered inside when the fortification was built. The dwarf turned and immediately charged and killed one of my two legendary marksdwarves. The other shot him in the knee knocking the wereurist over. from there the mark dwarves opened fire on him. about halfway through the pincushioning he changed back. other dwarve saw the guards and attack them. while the archer inside finished off the weredwarf. the rest fought and killed 17 of my citizens including a legendary miner. My one high up spear dwarf was strangled and killed by a miner and a sword dwarf received a pickax to the arm but recovered.
Now my fortress is covered not only with elf and coyote blood and guts, but also dwarf ones. My fort is falling apart and my construction room is filled with miasma. this is worse then even the first were attack.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on April 25, 2015, 03:52:30 pm
Quote from: spazyak on April 25, 2015, 03:34:53 pm
I had a dwarf get bit by a were bison. I put him in the hospital and blocked the entrances, at one child dwarf got stuck in it and didn't get killed when he changed oddly enough, and later starved. I went to replace one of the walls with a fortification so my archer squad could kill him, My best archers wandered inside when the fortification was built. The dwarf turned and immediately charged and killed one of my two legendary marksdwarves. The other shot him in the knee knocking the wereurist over. from there the mark dwarves opened fire on him. about halfway through the pincushioning he changed back. other dwarve saw the guards and attack them. while the archer inside finished off the weredwarf. the rest fought and killed 17 of my citizens including a legendary miner. My one high up spear dwarf was strangled and killed by a miner and a sword dwarf received a pickax to the arm but recovered.
Now my fortress is covered not only with elf and coyote blood and guts, but also dwarf ones. My fort is falling apart and my construction room is filled with miasma. this is worse then even the first were attack.
You can carve fortifications in constructed walls.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: spazyak on April 25, 2015, 03:54:17 pm
Quote from: TheFlame52 on April 25, 2015, 03:52:30 pm
Quote from: spazyak on April 25, 2015, 03:34:53 pm
I had a dwarf get bit by a were bison. I put him in the hospital and blocked the entrances, at one child dwarf got stuck in it and didn't get killed when he changed oddly enough, and later starved. I went to replace one of the walls with a fortification so my archer squad could kill him, My best archers wandered inside when the fortification was built. The dwarf turned and immediately charged and killed one of my two legendary marksdwarves. The other shot him in the knee knocking the wereurist over. from there the mark dwarves opened fire on him. about halfway through the pincushioning he changed back. other dwarve saw the guards and attack them. while the archer inside finished off the weredwarf. the rest fought and killed 17 of my citizens including a legendary miner. My one high up spear dwarf was strangled and killed by a miner and a sword dwarf received a pickax to the arm but recovered.
Now my fortress is covered not only with elf and coyote blood and guts, but also dwarf ones. My fort is falling apart and my construction room is filled with miasma. this is worse then even the first were attack.
You can carve fortifications in constructed walls.
I can?! AHHHHHH I lost a legendary marksdwarf for nothing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on April 25, 2015, 05:27:23 pm
Made a two man (and many beast) military. They're both armoured heavily, covered in the ma armour. One uses an axe and a hammer, the other uses a pair of shields. Both have many trained war animals attached to them: two tigers, a lion, a few imported grizzlies, three rhinos, about ten dogs each, a giant lion, three giant tigers, an elephant, a cave dragon, two jabberers, and a roc. They fought off an invasion with few casualties, mostly in the dogs and an injured tiger, plus some bruised ears for elephants. Everything was going great. A hydra showed up which is a beast I can't war train. So, I decided to kill it. Send out my beast master military, but as they left the gate to fight the hydra, they both stopped and went to the bedrooms. Which are far away from the main section of the fort. The hydra simply crawled into the fort slowly, and started slaughtering his way through my completely unprotected workers. Well, next time, all workers will have an iron mail shirt, short sword, and a wooden shield at all times. Except for the group of ten miners. Once the hydra was done with the non-sleeping dwarves, he crawled into the caverns and got handled by a pair of blind cave ogres. My beast masters could've killed him with the roc and cave dragon alone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Corona688 on April 27, 2015, 01:17:09 pm
I went away and forgot how water pressure works.  Digging a well:

(http://burningsmell.org/images/well-well-well.png)

...the room filled as fast as you can say 'splorsh'.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StubbornAlcoholic on April 30, 2015, 09:37:57 am
I had a Werehorse turn up to my young fort. It proceeded to maul the fort Mason to death on the drawbridge, but then I locked the gate and retracted the bridge.

Amusingly, the rabid werehorse turned back into a human mid-fall, broke most of the bones in it's body, screamed: "Death is all around us, it is truly horrific!" and then died.

Not-so-amusingly, I then shortly afterwards had a werelizard turn up, and bite a Fishery Worker outdoors, causing "bruising".

Unfortunately, bruising is apparently sufficient for infection, for in the time it took me to go from my dining hall camera to my metal workers and back again, my fort population had gone from 64 to 18 and the banquet hall looked like the site of a jam factory explosion :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheKaspa on April 30, 2015, 12:30:58 pm
The squirrel ghost had to stop just outside the bridge.
(https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/fzvrDqUEMizmjNLlA8nK1hMvDdQ663Kqbnzn86jKUsE=w294-h233-no)
Now I will have to dispatch the army...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Corona688 on May 01, 2015, 12:24:36 pm
I went a little overboard breaking through an aquifer the cave-in way -- something like a 20x20 area -- and the result was impressive...  The game paused a full eight seconds and dropped to about 1-2 FPS for the duration of the michael-bay-class dustcloud.  It was big enough to go straight OVER my protective walls and fill the common area.  It knocked out *EVERYBODY* and blew them around like leaves.

Nobody and nothing was crushed, but two dwaves were pulled into the surrounding 2-deep water channel.  One managed to swim out...  One did not, and died in 2-deep water.

A season later, we have his ghost.  A slab will not placate it while his skeleton remains there.  I suppose I could start building pumps and moving magma...  But there is a minor problem.  He was their engineer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Amperzand on May 03, 2015, 01:50:08 am
So, when I first started the game, I really did not understand how to stairs. I basically ended up mining out a 3x3, then channeling down next to it, then having up/down stairs built in the spot. It was tedious, it was slow, and it took me about a month to figure out how it actually worked. Then, about two months after that I realized you could designate things across Z-levels. Facedeskx2combo.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MehMuffin on May 04, 2015, 03:09:06 pm
I forgot that I made a staircase to the caves.

About thirty troglodytes and a half-dozen GCS's punched to death by my smiths later, I realized why none of the armor for my militia was getting made.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: escondida on May 05, 2015, 08:26:10 am
Quote
A season later, we have his ghost.  A slab will not placate it while his skeleton remains there.  I suppose I could start building pumps and moving magma...  But there is a minor problem.  He was their engineer.

Did you build the slab somewhere, or just engrave it with the dead dwarf's name? A memorial slab sitting in a stockpile won't keep ghosts at bay.

I hadn't played this fort in a while, and on firing it up I remembered that I needed to finish my fancy reservoir (with drain through a raised aqueduct off the edge of the cavern). I spent a while building a small pumpstack up from the nearby cavern lake...before I revisited the rest of the fort and remembered that this map has a partial aquifer I could've tapped much more easily.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Corona688 on May 06, 2015, 12:26:00 pm
Quote from: escondida on May 05, 2015, 08:26:10 am
Quote
A season later, we have his ghost.  A slab will not placate it while his skeleton remains there.  I suppose I could start building pumps and moving magma...  But there is a minor problem.  He was their engineer.

Did you build the slab somewhere, or just engrave it with the dead dwarf's name? A memorial slab sitting in a stockpile won't keep ghosts at bay.
I built the slab.  It wasn't enough.

I managed to drown both miners and lose both picks trying to retrieve his corpse.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on May 09, 2015, 04:32:55 pm
Quote from: Corona688 on May 06, 2015, 12:26:00 pm
Quote from: escondida on May 05, 2015, 08:26:10 am
Quote
A season later, we have his ghost.  A slab will not placate it while his skeleton remains there.  I suppose I could start building pumps and moving magma...  But there is a minor problem.  He was their engineer.

Did you build the slab somewhere, or just engrave it with the dead dwarf's name? A memorial slab sitting in a stockpile won't keep ghosts at bay.
I built the slab.  It wasn't enough.

I managed to drown both miners and lose both picks trying to retrieve his corpse.

Assign someone other sod to be mechanic. It'll be slower but you will still be able to build stuff.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: spazyak on May 09, 2015, 04:53:35 pm
I accidentally linked my food plots to each other and to my still so that the plump helmets I needed to make beer where always being moved around, I am pretty sure that at one point I had around 120 plump helmets in a barrel being moved to a different barrel and from there to another one and finally back to the original one. on the plus side my dwarves aren't wandering near the pack of war elephants left by the damn elves. now if only hauling could level stats like strength and agility.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Immortal-D on May 09, 2015, 09:29:56 pm
In my excitement at having figured out scaffolding for multi-z constructions, I completely forgot to cut my stones into blocks :-[  I was wondering why my Dwarves were taking so long to build stuff.  4 ingame years later, I realized they had been hauling raw boulders.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MehMuffin on May 10, 2015, 10:53:30 am
(http://i.imgur.com/mwFRqjb.png?1)

How encouraging.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tablen Arue on May 10, 2015, 08:32:17 pm
Quote from: Michaelsoftman on April 20, 2009, 09:42:01 pm
Quote from: AncientEnemy on April 20, 2009, 09:18:57 pm
discovering the d->b menu.

oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones

Oh man same here for me.

I remember digging out a large room, and then sighing as I would press 'k' then I'd press right, D, right, D, right, D etc etc until i marked like 200 stones for dumping.

Then someone showed me mass dumping...  I love that man.

You two just saved me so much time 0_0
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MehMuffin on May 10, 2015, 09:29:41 pm
Of course, only after I embarked did the goblin civilization die out... Sigh. We can only hope for better adversaries.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ajar on May 13, 2015, 03:42:52 pm
Yeah... I had nearly completed my 3-floor magma cast "experiment" when the dead came walking in. I barred the entrance corridor with lead just behind the traps then sat down to notice that the dead had used my magma cast pipe to enter the fortress. I had forgotten to remove the ramps leading up the hillside of the obsidian moat... Should have built a higher moat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uberpooch on May 14, 2015, 02:13:03 pm
One of my first successful fortresses.  It had it all: magma forges, legendary dining hall with mist generators, a thriving steel and gem crafting industry, everything a good dwarf could want.  I had just finished equipping and training a strong military, which guarded the fort from a granite tower, equipped with enough siege engines and bowdwarfs to repel a colossus.  The final touch was to be a moat surrounding the tower, more for the coolness of having a moat than out of necessity.  I dug a channel around the tower, then filled it by channeling to the nearby river.  Within seconds, I began getting job cancellation warnings.  I checked and found that the bottom four levels of my fort were full of water, and the rest was filling up fast.  The cause?  I had channeled the moat right across the ceiling of my dining hall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ajar on May 15, 2015, 11:11:05 am
Quote from: Uberpooch on May 14, 2015, 02:13:03 pm
One of my first successful fortresses.  It had it all: magma forges, legendary dining hall with mist generators, a thriving steel and gem crafting industry, everything a good dwarf could want.  I had just finished equipping and training a strong military, which guarded the fort from a granite tower, equipped with enough siege engines and bowdwarfs to repel a colossus.  The final touch was to be a moat surrounding the tower, more for the coolness of having a moat than out of necessity.  I dug a channel around the tower, then filled it by channeling to the nearby river.  Within seconds, I began getting job cancellation warnings.  I checked and found that the bottom four levels of my fort were full of water, and the rest was filling up fast.  The cause?  I had channeled the moat right across the ceiling of my dining hall.

Hehe... I can only symphatize you. Currently I've reclaimed my obsidian basement and casting a second 5 stories magmacast on it. It's starting to look like something awesome. I like to channel moats in aquifers. Those moats won't be deep but at least easy to fill. And you can't mess up with them so easily. It's just starting the new fortress with having to break through the aquifer >)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thuris on May 18, 2015, 09:52:42 pm
Started a fort that was going extremely well. Then suddenly, Werebeast. Killed 1 and mauled 3, but was put down by a recruit in steel. Werebeast managed to land a bite on the recruit a few ticks before it died of blood loss. Except for an Engraver, who just got a good kick that broke ribs and punctured a lung (went a whole year blinking without any issues until I finally got the hospital up), everyone who got bit was to be left outside until the next moon healed them and then dealt with. Ordered the gate to the entryway courtyard pulled and the fort continued it's business. Occasionally checked on them with no issues, but when I checked last, the recruit had vanished since I last checked. 'z'oomed to him, and somehow, whether he jumped into the 2z level dry moat and used the retrieval passageway I forgot to raise the bridge to block, or he climbed a tree near the walls, he was in the fort in the farms. Tried to burrow him somewhere safe, but he turned seconds after unpausing and proceded to kill a farmer and bit another farmer, my main brewer, and my broker before being killed by a pickaxe. Had to atom smash the survivors. I now really hate werebeasts, especially since my fort gets 6 a year almost.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: angelious on May 19, 2015, 10:15:08 am
i got two:

first time i found adamantium. i decided to take it easy(i knew about the circus) so i started nitpicking one at a time. i selected one adamantium block to be mined. mined it. AND boom. "circus came to town"


second happened just five minutes ago. i had just survived a large goblin siege, my military was resting when BLAM. my first ever forgotten beast. i panicked. took all of my militia and sent them at him. then i watched how the titanic beast slowly kept creeping towards my underground entrance..untill it fell down a chasm into water...where it is stuck now...i have chosen to ignore it. and maybe someday flood the underground lake its stuck in with lava or something if it doesnt drown..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: spazyak on May 19, 2015, 01:38:47 pm
Quote from: angelious on May 19, 2015, 10:15:08 am
i got two:

first time i found adamantium. i decided to take it easy(i knew about the circus) so i started nitpicking one at a time. i selected one adamantium block to be mined. mined it. AND boom. "circus came to town"


second happened just five minutes ago. i had just survived a large goblin siege, my military was resting when BLAM. my first ever forgotten beast. i panicked. took all of my militia and sent them at him. then i watched how the titanic beast slowly kept creeping towards my underground entrance..untill it fell down a chasm into water...where it is stuck now...i have chosen to ignore it. and maybe someday flood the underground lake its stuck in with lava or something if it doesnt drown..
What's the forgotten beast?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: angelious on May 19, 2015, 01:50:34 pm
Quote from: spazyak on May 19, 2015, 01:38:47 pm
Quote from: angelious on May 19, 2015, 10:15:08 am
i got two:

first time i found adamantium. i decided to take it easy(i knew about the circus) so i started nitpicking one at a time. i selected one adamantium block to be mined. mined it. AND boom. "circus came to town"


second happened just five minutes ago. i had just survived a large goblin siege, my military was resting when BLAM. my first ever forgotten beast. i panicked. took all of my militia and sent them at him. then i watched how the titanic beast slowly kept creeping towards my underground entrance..untill it fell down a chasm into water...where it is stuck now...i have chosen to ignore it. and maybe someday flood the underground lake its stuck in with lava or something if it doesnt drown..
What's the forgotten beast?



it was actually quite underwhelming. i no longer have the reports for it but..it was something like a bloated body made out of something i cant recall with external ribs,poison breath and excreted some sort of gas from its skin. ofcourse the gas it created didnt help him for shit as he was choking on it himself...

it only took one military squad to kill him after a prolonged fight. and from that squad only 3 died and 2 ended up in hospital...ofcourse they WERE a full squad of hammer lords..so that might be helping it a little. but still. it was quite underwhelming for my first fb...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: spazyak on May 19, 2015, 04:34:06 pm
Quote from: angelious on May 19, 2015, 01:50:34 pm
Quote from: spazyak on May 19, 2015, 01:38:47 pm
Quote from: angelious on May 19, 2015, 10:15:08 am
i got two:

first time i found adamantium. i decided to take it easy(i knew about the circus) so i started nitpicking one at a time. i selected one adamantium block to be mined. mined it. AND boom. "circus came to town"


second happened just five minutes ago. i had just survived a large goblin siege, my military was resting when BLAM. my first ever forgotten beast. i panicked. took all of my militia and sent them at him. then i watched how the titanic beast slowly kept creeping towards my underground entrance..untill it fell down a chasm into water...where it is stuck now...i have chosen to ignore it. and maybe someday flood the underground lake its stuck in with lava or something if it doesnt drown..
What's the forgotten beast?



it was actually quite underwhelming. i no longer have the reports for it but..it was something like a bloated body made out of something i cant recall with external ribs,poison breath and excreted some sort of gas from its skin. ofcourse the gas it created didnt help him for shit as he was choking on it himself...

it only took one military squad to kill him after a prolonged fight. and from that squad only 3 died and 2 ended up in hospital...ofcourse they WERE a full squad of hammer lords..so that might be helping it a little. but still. it was quite underwhelming for my first fb...
Next time try to capture him with a cage traps circling a chained up cat in and area near where he is at Brit far enough away that he won't agro to the builders immediately
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Space Wizard on May 19, 2015, 11:01:25 pm
Are forgotten beast encounters rare? I run into them quite frequently, but I hear experienced players say they haven't seen any before or have run into their first one frequently on the forums.

That being said, I've never seen a megabeast that wasn't either a forgotten beast or a titan.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on May 20, 2015, 02:03:32 am
Quote from: Space Wizard on May 19, 2015, 11:01:25 pm
Are forgotten beast encounters rare? I run into them quite frequently, but I hear experienced players say they haven't seen any before or have run into their first one frequently on the forums.

That being said, I've never seen a megabeast that wasn't either a forgotten beast or a titan.

AFAIK this depends on the initial number of FBs, the length of history (how many are slain before you start) and whether your caverns are open to the outside. I play with high number of them and short history, so they keep queuing up in front of (or under) my doorstep. Usually they take care of each other. I would totally love it if they would not be hostile towards each other, as it takes me usually quite a while to get my military up and running...

FP: apparently my military has been training with a convolute of weapons... though I told them: get these nice and shiny masterworked steel axes, see them? tyhey are over there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: angelious on May 20, 2015, 07:53:39 am
Quote from: gunpowdertea on May 20, 2015, 02:03:32 am
Quote from: Space Wizard on May 19, 2015, 11:01:25 pm
Are forgotten beast encounters rare? I run into them quite frequently, but I hear experienced players say they haven't seen any before or have run into their first one frequently on the forums.

That being said, I've never seen a megabeast that wasn't either a forgotten beast or a titan.

AFAIK this depends on the initial number of FBs, the length of history (how many are slain before you start) and whether your caverns are open to the outside. I play with high number of them and short history, so they keep queuing up in front of (or under) my doorstep. Usually they take care of each other. I would totally love it if they would not be hostile towards each other, as it takes me usually quite a while to get my military up and running...

FP: apparently my military has been training with a convolute of weapons... though I told them: get these nice and shiny masterworked steel axes, see them? tyhey are over there.


i have a similiar problem with armor. i got heaps of different types of armor pieces lying around. but apparently socks and wool shirts are better than iron breastplates or greaves...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: angelious on May 20, 2015, 08:09:16 am

[/quote]
 Next time try to capture him with a cage traps circling a chained up cat in and area near where he is at Brit far enough away that he won't agro to the builders immediately
[/quote]


sorry for double posting but...


yeah i got another fb...this is only about half an hour gameplay after the last one(so i dont think they are rare)

this one is "miyufa rethiuri vesifa ciriko. a toweing skinless python. it has large mandibles and it has a gaunt appearance. its eyes glow chartreuse(whatever that means) beware its poisonous bite! "



this one spawned wayy too close to my settlement so i didnt have time to set up any of the trappings you suggested. i am going to send in my military and hope for the best...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Corona688 on May 20, 2015, 12:35:25 pm
They are attracted by fortress wealth.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: angelious on May 20, 2015, 01:20:10 pm
Quote from: Corona688 on May 20, 2015, 12:35:25 pm
They are attracted by fortress wealth.

yeah. i did get a major boost in moolah for hitting the adamantium i guess.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Albedo on May 20, 2015, 02:02:29 pm
Quote from: angelious on May 20, 2015, 08:09:16 am
its eyes glow chartreuse(whatever that means)
It's a pale neon green.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chartreuse_%28color%29
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Corona688 on May 21, 2015, 03:41:18 pm
Quote from: angelious on May 20, 2015, 01:20:10 pm
yeah. i did get a major boost in moolah for hitting the adamantium i guess.
  That's almost certainly it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Insert_Gnome_Here on May 21, 2015, 03:57:12 pm
You can always see a description of a living FB, even when it is gone from (a)nnouncements. Just look in the (u)nits menu and press z or someting (I forget which letter) to veiw the fb's description.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: angelious on May 21, 2015, 04:57:59 pm
Quote from: Insert_Gnome_Here on May 21, 2015, 03:57:12 pm
You can always see a description of a living FB, even when it is gone from (a)nnouncements. Just look in the (u)nits menu and press z or someting (I forget which letter) to veiw the fb's description.

not if the announcement is removed...atleast on my version the announcements dissapear after a while
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MonsterClub on May 23, 2015, 07:23:02 am
After 2 year's of playing dwarf fortress i've build my living area IN FUCKING CLAY LAYER and its a pretty big area too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Midboss on May 25, 2015, 09:26:25 am
So I have been dealing with an undead siege for a while now. I have been having issues with burrow restrictions hindering my dwarves' ability to pick up chopped off parts and dumping them so I decided to try removing burrow restrictions to let them pick up the parts and it was working. I absentmindedly also designated a finger from an elf corpse at the top of my unfinished tower for dumping. The game paused to an announcement that a dwarf was found dead and I had chalked it up to an issue I have been having where a staircase next to a fortification was causing dwarves to somehow end up outside my unfinished tower by what I would imagine would be dodging. I decided to make a slab and found more than just one dwarf had died. I went to check my unfinished tower to see if an undead had climbed up and it turns out my civilians were just terrified to go back down through a room of fortifications due to terror at the sight of seeing undead. So they would instead stand at the top of the tower until they stood too close to the edge, get shot at by an undead with a crossbow, dodge into open space and fall into the undead's waiting teeth and claws.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: angelious on May 25, 2015, 11:29:12 am
another fb...this one..like the three before him. is dying off his own dust attack. and he is unable to reach my fort
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sv-esk on June 01, 2015, 11:18:19 pm
Unhappy dwarf got fell-mood, murdered Defrutum Campusclaustrum, brought his corpse to workshop. The corpse has been reanimated by evil biome right in the middle of artifact crafting process and revenged.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
ps.  i forgot to make slab immediatly. So this dwarf also became a murderous ghost and frighten someone out of existence.
Spoiler:  slab (click to show/hide)
slab  says that she is creator of Hateshame the Fell Thunders. Is it artifact name? There are no artifacts with this name in 'l' list. So artifact considered finished despite reagent "shuddered and begun to move" and killed creator?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lordhermitcrab on June 01, 2015, 11:46:49 pm
Quote from: Corona688 on April 27, 2015, 01:17:09 pm
I went away and forgot how water pressure works.  Digging a well:

(http://burningsmell.org/images/well-well-well.png)

...the room filled as fast as you can say 'splorsh'.

That looks a lot like the generated dwarf fortresses you find in Dwarf Fortress Adventure Mode. Were you going for that look or did you somehow embark on a fortress?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: spazyak on June 02, 2015, 07:53:53 am
Quote from: sv-esk on June 01, 2015, 11:18:19 pm
Unhappy dwarf got fell-mood, murdered Defrutum Campusclaustrum, brought his corpse to workshop. The corpse has been reanimated by evil biome right in the middle of artifact crafting process and revenged.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
ps.  i forgot to make slab immediatly. So this dwarf also became a murderous ghost and frighten someone out of existence.
Spoiler:  slab (click to show/hide)
slab  says that she is creator of Hateshame the Fell Thunders. Is it artifact name? There are no artifacts with this name in 'l' list. So artifact considered finished despite reagent "shuddered and begun to move" and killed creator?
so s/he was killed by hir/her own artifact? well atleast looking at it, it was just a shoe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tyyr on June 05, 2015, 10:31:20 am
Getting back into the game with the new version. I decided to do my usual central stair case excavation so I can rebuild it. The idea being it will make all my stair's "sun lit" and ward off cave adaptation. Like an idiot I designate ALL of my stairs to be channeled. Next thing I know my miners are splattering on the floor of the dining hall as one after another they plummet to their deaths.

Then I find out that with the recent changes that wouldn't ward of adaptation anyways anymore.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on June 06, 2015, 07:36:04 pm
It just took me twenty attempts and a whole bunch of forum searching to re-figure out how to get assorted creature skins to tan into one kind of leather.

So out of practice at everything to do with this game.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pearofclubs on June 07, 2015, 09:55:06 am
One fort I had a while back, I dug out a large room in the second stone layer on either side of the main staircase. One was to be a dining hall, the other was to be a statue garden.

I designated some stairs to be put on the side of the dining hall, to connect it to my farm/kitchen so the food stockpile is easier to access from the dining hall.

Then I got job cancellations, because the miners had hit an aquifer and the dining room was rapidly flooding. I built a wall and contained it.
The same thing happened on the other side, because I accidentally had the dorf digging up, except the idiots were on break and as such no one built the containing wall. Couple dorfs drowned and I had to dig a completely new fort, which had a suspiciously fortress-shaped cistern.

But hey, I learned to never let a dorf dig up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thisfox on June 14, 2015, 02:49:36 am
Embarked on an aquifer. Went to get the rocks unloaded from the cart. No rocks.
....Forgot to prepare carefully. Whups.


Quote from: Tyyr on June 05, 2015, 10:31:20 am
.... I designate ALL of my stairs to be channeled. Next thing I know my miners are splattering on the floor of the dining hall as one after another they plummet to their deaths.

It's raining dorfs! Hallelujah!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Detros on June 14, 2015, 08:14:49 am
After moving dwarf to quarantine cell via build doors - build lever - Profile - assign lever to dwarf - ask dwarf to pull it - wait for him to get through doors - lock doors behind him I realized moving him there via new squad - add dwarf to squad - station squad would be much easier.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on June 19, 2015, 10:13:14 pm
Hey, why are people being found dead? Why is stuff on fire? Why is there an ogre in the Colosseum dining room? Why are random bridges up and down? Why are levers being pu- GOD DAM GREMLIN! HE JUST RELEASED EVERY MONSTER IN THE COLOSSEUM HOLDING BAY!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NESgamer190 on June 20, 2015, 04:08:31 pm
Kinda had a near-idiot moment what with my ocean desalination for dwarven drinking project with one of my screw pumps being suspended from development.  Got that sorted in time, fortunately.  I then realized my other water reservoir (for the prisoners, doubling as "Oh crap, I'm outta hospital water somehow!" water) would not get water due to not channeling to let the screw pump collect the water.

I know this is a thread for face palms, but that was one moment I had considered a candidate for face palming.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ImagoDeo on June 21, 2015, 03:54:44 am
My most recent facepalm moment came when I was trapping the fourth or fifth forgotten beast from the third cavern layer at Picksling. I left a hatch open and only barely caught the error in time to keep the beasty from breaking the vulnerable hatch. It couldn't have rampaged through the fort; I had half a dozen other containment options after that hatch, but rebuilding it would have been nearly impossible. I would have had to shuffle the beast to an entirely different cell in the block just to open the one cell for maintenance.

Not much of a facepalm moment, honestly. I do tend to play things pretty close to the vest.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skribbblie on June 21, 2015, 02:36:35 pm
I once had the misfortune, and lack of foresight, to try and channel a small, straight-down pipeline from a river into a cistern.

Without a floodgate.

Several Z-levels.

You can probably tell where this is going, if you've ever plumbed your fortress to death.

I tried to make a well, in the middle of an item storage/hospital. Naturally, the water started pouring out of the hole for the well, and the fort started filling with water. By sheer dumb luck, my dwarves succeeded in walling off the hospital before the whole fortress flooded.

Additional facepalms occurred, just after the flooding - but I save scummed those, because they involved one of my named dwarves, and my only other miner, drowning while trying to tap into the cistern. But THIS time, I remembered to put a floodgate in, and after one or two tries, someone hit the floodgate switch at just the right time to close off the pipe before the miner could die.

Barely worth a save scum, really. A fortress that young should just be allowed to flood and get over with the Fun xD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mydwarfsarentallthatbad on June 22, 2015, 11:33:35 am
I thought it would be a great idea to channel a new farm or something on the surface layer for increased food. All of the sudden i got a ton of job cancellations and death reports. I tried to channel right over the hospital and caused a cavein. (probably better than what some dwarfs in the hospital had for them)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uggh on June 22, 2015, 01:52:44 pm
Another one of those hidden functions discovered by accident; in the "bring to trade depot screen" you can press enter in the left column to select everything in the right one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Detros on June 26, 2015, 04:51:12 pm
I finally get to testing some magma forges. I have settled near volcano, prepared some minecarts, doors, levers and mechanisms. Easy setup; four minecarts between two magma safe doors operated via levers. Even one bucket of water in case miner will get on fire during the mining of last wall was prepared. But all didn't go according to plan: miner got slow and dizzy because of cave adaptation so I had to change the lever operator before going on. The he managed to breach the last wall but just at that moment, the one bucket worth of water evaporated (maybe from the heat from the now open volcano). But he run out and lever operator closed doors behind him.

So... well.. then was trying to look at my minecarts filling with lava. I saw molten metal instead. Apparently lead is not magma safe -.-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: aaoo on June 27, 2015, 08:23:42 am
A necromancer decided to visit my fortress, and bumped into my 20 almost-elite marksdwarves practicing outside. He gave in to pain after the first bolt and they gathered in a crowd around, shooting wooden bolts at him. Then somehow one jumped out of the flight path of another, and started a chain reaction of jumping out of the flight path, which caused 2 deaths and 1 broken arm...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Raikaria on June 28, 2015, 03:06:30 am
A werebeast shows up with my migrant wave as my first Human Caravan leaves.

I send one squad of melee Urists; and tell me Battlement Marksdwarves to fire from the fortifications.

Of course the archers proceed to ignore that; run down the stairs; past my hammerdwarves; and enter the melee fray with the Werebeast.

Who somehow manages to kill 2 migrants; leave 2 more bleeding out on the ground [Here's hoping they die from their wounds before they turn]; kill one of the Swordsmen; one of my Hammerdwarves and two Archers. I'm just hoping that none of my warriors took a bite.

Admittedly my military wasn't massive; but he was still getting beat on by 2 trained humans; 3 guys with Silver Hammers; and 4 crossbows.

If the other Swordsman took a bite that could also be... !!FUN!!. For the human settlement.

I'm considering closing my gate and leaving the bleeding-out Dwarves to die before they turn. If anyone else turns I have a significant number of War Dogs; a Lion; and two Giant War Leopards. As well as my remaining Hammerdwarves and my Speardwarves stationed near the caverns.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rosewood on June 30, 2015, 04:23:16 am
So... When I first started playing, and didn't have any idea how military worked, I was having trouble with my Goblin neighbours coming over for their annual games of Whack a Dworf.  After having lost three of my fortresses due to these pests, I came across an area with a lot of lava.  Setting my dwarves to work I quickly constructed the molten moat of Magma with hopes of it entertaining the neighbours in a more dwarf friendly manner.
Then they came, just as I had hoped, and as always they were kind enough to bring their own weapons.  I pulled the lever.  As they all charged into the moat, the lava caught them at the flanks, rushing over them in a sea of red and joyous death!
And I looked upon my work and said, this is good.

...then I realised that when digging the moat I accidentally dug a channel into my underground store of meat and booze...

Needless to say the Dwarves weren't happy.

Goblins 4 Dwarves 0.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pearofclubs on July 02, 2015, 11:30:52 am
I just remembered this one.
Early on in playing the game for me, I had a bronze colossus show up.
Not really knowing what else to do, I threw my entire military at it.
I didn't really understand how the military worked at this time, and I'm not entirely sure what I did wrong, but they were *supposed* to take weapons with them.
So my twenty odd dwarves ran screaming over the hill, jumped on the colossus and began to wrestle it to death. Many of them died, needless to say.
Still not sure how they managed to kill it, but I imagine the dwarves dressed up as professional wrestlers anytime I think of it.
Dorfimania ran wild that day.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on July 07, 2015, 03:38:48 pm
A while ago:
Bowyer got a mood, but i didn't pay much attention: an unholy hauling backlog had piled up and we were busy getting things moved before half the food rotted or something stupid like that. Six gameweeks later, the bowyer snapped and went melancholic. We had never gotten around to building a bowyer's workshop. Whoops.

Some annoying pterosaur forgotten beast was massacring all cavern wildlife, on all cavern levels (there are crawlways all the way up and down). It's pretty beaten up but just won't die. So we tried to lure it into a minecart smasher. Astonishingly enough, it survived even that and took down the security door before anyone could be arsed to floor over the main entryway. Fortunately (?) it tried to demolish the well and mis-pathed there, getting stuck in a door jamb. It eventually trundled down another dozen levels and got stuck next to a door down there and we got everything properly locked up, secured and a replacement well built, but it was a great big mess. Mainly because we couldn't risk it catching sight of anyone, the fort has no military; if it had started hunting dwarfs, things would have turned quite grim.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ImagoDeo on July 10, 2015, 02:40:13 am
I was using the digging-from-under-a-bridge trick to empty my well cistern at Gikenstul issunbunsothgeshud Amud, and the miner mined it out from over the bridge instead of under it because I forgot to lock a door.

I felt very very stupid.

Then I noticed she was a legendary swimmer from the danger room/swimming room I have as a meeting area.

I felt very very smart.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ExplodingGuy on July 10, 2015, 05:59:19 pm
The other day I was attacked by a feathered, fire-breathing nematode forgotten beast. After around a month or two of trying to kill this thing with cave-ins and (sometimes) brute force, resulting in a handful of deaths. The nematode finally made its way into the mines one z-level below my fort's lower entrance. "A vile force of darkness has arrived!" Great, time to lock up the fortress and fire the magma cannons! "The werelizard Human McMurderspree has come" Great! I don't have to deal with the gobbos myself! So, I let the werelizard do its thing and while I regrouped my warriors to prevent the nematode from getting any further. Eventually the nematode was caught in an alcohol wine explosion from a wine barrel carried by a recruit and burned to death. Celebrating the beast's ironic death, I noticed an interruption caused by a werelizard. Went to the announcement screen and noticed two pages of dwarven deaths and interruptions caused by the werelizard.

I failed to notice a hole in the ceiling above my stockpiles.

The werelizard caused fifteen deaths before turning back into his human form, and the ensuing infected caused seventy more deaths.

And to add some icing on the cake, a forgotten beast spider killed three more warrior dwarves with a necrotic poison, who couldn't be treated because the werelizard infectees killed my hospital staff.
 
Needless to say, the forty-some survivors are either melancholic or just don't care anymore.

At least a caravan arrived this year.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zorkdeath on July 11, 2015, 05:16:27 pm
Spending half an hour trying to figure out why I couldn't smooth "stone" (turns out it was clay) and, later, why I couldn't engrave stone with the v key.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skribbblie on July 12, 2015, 04:55:32 pm
I was unaware that you make glass items directly from bags of sand.

So one of my forts has a mountain of useless raw green glass as gems, when I thought I was stockpiling glass resources T_T
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on July 12, 2015, 10:50:16 pm
Quote from: Skribbblie on July 12, 2015, 04:55:32 pm
I was unaware that you make glass items directly from bags of sand.

So one of my forts has a mountain of useless raw green glass as gems, when I thought I was stockpiling glass resources T_T
you can decoraye with them, at least.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skribbblie on July 13, 2015, 01:16:36 am
Quote from: SimRobert2001 on July 12, 2015, 10:50:16 pm
Quote from: Skribbblie on July 12, 2015, 04:55:32 pm
I was unaware that you make glass items directly from bags of sand.

So one of my forts has a mountain of useless raw green glass as gems, when I thought I was stockpiling glass resources T_T
you can decoraye with them, at least.
That fort also has the most robust agriculture, prepared food, and textile industry I've ever created T_T Decorated items are worthless when I can dump 60,000 wealth in prepared food on the trade caravans without breaking a sweat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on July 13, 2015, 02:56:37 am
Quote from: Skribbblie on July 13, 2015, 01:16:36 am
Quote from: SimRobert2001 on July 12, 2015, 10:50:16 pm
Quote from: Skribbblie on July 12, 2015, 04:55:32 pm
I was unaware that you make glass items directly from bags of sand.

So one of my forts has a mountain of useless raw green glass as gems, when I thought I was stockpiling glass resources T_T
you can decoraye with them, at least.
That fort also has the most robust agriculture, prepared food, and textile industry I've ever created T_T Decorated items are worthless when I can dump 60,000 wealth in prepared food on the trade caravans without breaking a sweat.
decorate furniture for your dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bool1989 on July 15, 2015, 06:12:33 am
I spent a whole week trying to figure out why my dwarfs would not make soap from all the tallow and lye i had, then i realized it was because all of my lye was in barrels or pots, which made it unusable for some reason.

/facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TomiTapio on July 15, 2015, 07:36:50 am
Quote from: bool1989 on July 15, 2015, 06:12:33 am
I spent a whole week trying to figure out why my dwarfs would not make soap from all the tallow and lye i had, then i realized it was because all of my lye was in barrels or pots, which made it unusable for some reason.

/facepalm
what, do we modders need a "move lye from barrel/pot to bucket" reaction?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bool1989 on July 15, 2015, 08:26:01 am
Quote from: TomiTapio on July 15, 2015, 07:36:50 am
Quote from: bool1989 on July 15, 2015, 06:12:33 am
I spent a whole week trying to figure out why my dwarfs would not make soap from all the tallow and lye i had, then i realized it was because all of my lye was in barrels or pots, which made it unusable for some reason.

/facepalm
what, do we modders need a "move lye from barrel/pot to bucket" reaction?

well, what I did was make a separate stockpile for lye with no barrels/pots allowed. that worked.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Noel.se on July 16, 2015, 10:09:05 am
Somehow, I thought that it would be a good idea to not create a quarantine zone after a weretortoise attack...  even after those who were wounded during the first attack started to transform.
My hospital is fully stocked and my physicians are skilled -everyone who was wounded survived, including the infected ones.
After three (or four?) full moons I walled off the last werebeast (the others were killed by the military without causing further trouble), my legendary +5 engraver, in a 3*3 room where he will remain forever.
About 55 out of my 100 dwarves died.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SyrusLD on July 16, 2015, 06:52:21 pm
I build a raising bridge (1 tile long, 2 wide) to wall off my "security checkpoint" from the area where the invaders go through in case of a siege, so that, in case I felt something too big to handle was coming in, I could completly close off that entrance area.

When testing whether this "door" worked, I ordered the lever to be pulled, watched as a dwarf went and pulled it and paused a bit later.
Thinking I had waited long enough I ordered my military to move through the "door", expecting them to go the long route around the (hopefully now) closed path...

...it ended with a few messages of masterworks being lost and two of my spearmasters having vanished into thin air.
But hey, the "door" worked!... just ... took a bit longer to close than expected.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MobRules on July 17, 2015, 07:14:19 am
Quote from: SyrusLD on July 16, 2015, 06:52:21 pm
I build a raising bridge (1 tile long, 2 wide) to wall off my "security checkpoint" from the area where the invaders go through in case of a siege, so that, in case I felt something too big to handle was coming in, I could completly close off that entrance area.

When testing whether this "door" worked, I ordered the lever to be pulled, watched as a dwarf went and pulled it and paused a bit later.
Thinking I had waited long enough I ordered my military to move through the "door", expecting them to go the long route around the (hopefully now) closed path...

...it ended with a few messages of masterworks being lost and two of my spearmasters having vanished into thin air.
But hey, the "door" worked!... just ... took a bit longer to close than expected.

This is why I always make drawbridges two tiles long (so I can easily see whether thy are open or closed). No matter how long you make them, they are only one tile high when closed, so you can put two-tile long drawbridges in one-tile-high corridors without difficulty.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: G3Kappa on July 17, 2015, 04:37:32 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And so, today I learn about magma men and the importance of using embark points on stone blocks.

EDIT: New migrants came, giving me new hope, moments before a werebison finished off my fortress. RIP.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TomiTapio on July 18, 2015, 01:54:31 pm
Quote from: G3Kappa on July 17, 2015, 04:37:32 pm
And so, today I learn about magma men and the importance of using embark points on stone blocks.
Can magma men successfully destroy wooden walls?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on July 18, 2015, 08:47:53 pm
Quote from: TomiTapio on July 18, 2015, 01:54:31 pm
Quote from: G3Kappa on July 17, 2015, 04:37:32 pm
And so, today I learn about magma men and the importance of using embark points on stone blocks.
Can magma men successfully destroy wooden walls?
No, but i believe wooden doors can burn.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on July 19, 2015, 01:55:24 am
Quote from: SimRobert2001 on July 18, 2015, 08:47:53 pm
Quote from: TomiTapio on July 18, 2015, 01:54:31 pm
Quote from: G3Kappa on July 17, 2015, 04:37:32 pm
And so, today I learn about magma men and the importance of using embark points on stone blocks.
Can magma men successfully destroy wooden walls?
No, but i believe wooden doors can burn.
I don't think they burn while shut. Doors can't be built of of blocks, so that's not it anyway. It's probably drawbridges. They'll burn if any of the tiles where they lower to heat up sufficiently, even if the bridge is currently raised.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mikethete on July 19, 2015, 12:55:13 pm
I had created a lever operated drowning trap and when I created it made sure to label all the levers. 3 years later while a caravan is in the depot (which is linked to the drowning hall by a bridge) completely forgetting what lever operated my gladiator arena I end up pulling the drown lever and flooding out the caravan, after which I lost a legendary miner and legendary furnace operator in a tragic atom smasher accident.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: G3Kappa on July 21, 2015, 12:10:54 am
Oh snap. Ooooh snap.

This fortress was flourishing. 125+ citizens, a squad of ten Axe Lords, a self-sustaining industry... And candy.

Let's talk about candy. I had just discovered the magma sea, and was ready to mine it, when a dwarf entered a strange mood.

"Bones, cloth, rough gems, cut gems and bars of metal!", he demanded. And those I provided. However, due to a bug, and I'm sure it's a bug since I did all that was in my power, he didn't want to grab the cut gems and cloth. And so time passed, and I eventually forgot about him, reassured that my Axe Lords would know what to do when the time came.

I couldn't be more wrong. He went berserk, and the first thing he did was destroy one door. And not a mere door, mind you, but the door that separated the stairwell from the water source which, you guess it, was directly connected to a river. Due to a human error, I had placed the floodgate just before the well's reservoir, and didn't even think about the flimsy wooden separe that separated my fort from a catastrophic demise.

(http://i.imgur.com/INzsXgs.png)

My military squad is set to train near the third layer of caverns, to prevent any curious wildlife from accessing the main stairwell.

(http://i.imgur.com/tvQUBjD.png)

Said stairwell is now filled with 7/7 water, blocking my legendary Axedwarves inside. Luckily they have rations in their backpacks, but even those are starting to run short. But I've got to look at thing positively: now half of my fort feels relieved! That's a burden off my shoulders.

(http://i.imgur.com/i7ySUJP.png)

So what am I to do? The water is spilling in the cavern layer, and the uppermost layer of my fort looks safe for now. In the worst case scenario, I can floor the main stairwell and forget about it, while preparing a rescue mission for my precious militia. But this wouldn't stop the water from filling the caverns, and I'm not too happy about that.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Thus, before admitting defeat, I am trying one last thing: digging a tile-wide staircase from the surface to the magma sea, and redirecting the water pipe into it. If things go well, I might be able to drain the stairwell and build a wall where the original door stood. I don't know the effects of spilling a river into the abyss below, but it sounds !FUN! and doable. I'll keep you updated.

EDIT: I did it!

(http://i.imgur.com/xoUnGxY.png)

But I am also an idiot. I'll blame the fact that I've been playing DF all night, so I'm tired. Here's the thing: instead of channeling the water pipe, to drain the water away from it, I CHANNELED THE RIVER AGAIN! Luckily this reduced the water pressure by just the required amount for my dwarves to complete the bridge. Whew! In the meanwhile I have also sent a rescue team for my militia.

So now I have a river that's about to flood the magma sea. This is going to be fun.

EDIT2: Oh. The game is smarter than me. One single obsidian wall was formed, and that's it. Oh well, at least I didn't lose the fortress!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: funnykoala on July 23, 2015, 02:12:40 pm
lost all my tools after all my mining dwarves hit water and drowned, aand then. gohsts
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on July 25, 2015, 04:55:58 pm
I accidentally deconstructed a bridge while people were walking on it.

Good times.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HDSlugMoar on July 26, 2015, 08:41:10 am
I spent the entire first few months of one fortress creating statues out of chalk and cinnabar (most abundant nearby stone types). Then realized that
1) Despite being an awesome red color, cinnabar isn't worth much and has a higher weight then any other stone in the game.
2) The caravans that arrived HAD NO WAGONS, because i embarked far into the mountain.

Well, i hope my dwarves have fun spending their weekend hauling these fracking cinnabar statues back into my fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jazzeraint on July 29, 2015, 12:47:20 am
Had to leave everything behind and seal my dwarves indoors to survive.
No wood or axes made it with us.
Zombies eat every trader that comes onto the screen.
No wood to smelt metal ore with.

... I just didn't have axecess to any wood or fuel, guys.

In hindsight, I might have been able to dig down to the magma. Drat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rolan7 on July 30, 2015, 03:36:07 pm
I pierced an aquifer, woo!  With a 4x4 plug which... yeah, I know.  Fortunately it was only 1 tile deep.
...  Except that I carved out one of the bottom blocks while trying to get the dang thing to fall.  I thought a ramp was holding it up, but actually it was attached at the surface.  Derp.  Which was fine though since it was 4x4!  Unfortunately I expanded my stairway to 2x2.

The half-completed lower vaults started filling up with water, while my miners were okay in the upper vaults... for now.  Desperately I tried to wall off half the stairwell at the breach.  Which was a longshot, the water seemed to be 2/7 most of the time, but maybe it would have worked... except for Sigun freakin Momuzraluk.

This stupid dwarf had been hanging out near the bottom of the plug for no reason, and drowned when it fell.  I was going to recover her corpse later, I swear!  Well, it drifted into the breach.  And stayed.  Didn't fall down the stairs, nooo, just stayed in one of the two squares I needed to wall off...  Along with all her items.  I set them all to dump, and set a garbage dump, but all the surface dwarves were like "ew 2/7 water" and refused to do it.

4 of my founders managed to wall off the stairway, trapping themselves safely underground.  This was fine.  They had picks and stones, what more did they really need?  Maybe someday I'd pierce the aquifer again, but for now these four would carve out a self-sufficient home in the caverns.  No problem.

...  They absolutely refuse to pick or harvest the quarry bushes.  I tried d->p, I tried setting a harvest zone.  I activated all labors, I activated only plant gathering.  Nope, they're starving to death RIGHT NEXT to quarry bushes I set to harvest.

No wonder the goblins have conquered all but one of this civ's holdings.  Third embark's the charm, I hope...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TaintedWalrus on July 31, 2015, 03:07:55 pm
Me: "go kill that alligator dwarf!"
Dwarf: "Right away!" *drops Crossbow*
Me: "what are you doing?"
Dwarf: *leaves crossbow behind and starts beating the crap out of the alligator*
Me: *face palm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DAPARROT on July 31, 2015, 06:36:36 pm
Quote from: TaintedWalrus on July 31, 2015, 03:07:55 pm
Me: "go kill that alligator dwarf!"
Dwarf: "Right away!" *drops Crossbow*
Me: "what are you doing?"
Dwarf: *leaves crossbow behind and starts beating the crap out of the alligator*
Me: *face palm*
did the dwarf win?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: escondida on August 01, 2015, 07:38:56 am
Quote from: TaintedWalrus on July 31, 2015, 03:07:55 pm
Me: "go kill that alligator dwarf!"
Dwarf: "Right away!" *drops Crossbow*
Me: "what are you doing?"
Dwarf: *leaves crossbow behind and starts beating the crap out of the alligator*
Me: *face palm*

Anyone with the hunting, mining or woodcutting labors active is a poor candidate for the militia, since their hidden and unchangeable civilian uniform conflicts with their military uniform. Thus, throwing down the civilian crossbow when called to duty.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rolan7 on August 01, 2015, 11:46:41 pm
Had a similar situation today when a cave crocodile crawled into my dining hall.  I nearly lost about 30 dwarves.

...To dehydration.  The crocodile killed a woodcutter, but got its toe cut up and his head dented.  The other dwarves, having a party, surged forward for vengeance as it collapsed from the pain.  They spent like 2-3 seasons crawling over each other, landing 65 pages of punches on its head.  More dwarves would enter the dining room to eat, and would instead join the punch-orgy.  Every blow "bruised" the muscle or fat, which apparently does nothing??  Except maybe keep it unconscious, as it kept waking up then collapsing immediately from the pain. 

At first it was hilarious, then they started getting hungry (and the combat skill gains were disappointing).  It apparently wasn't going to bleed out from its mangled toe, either.  I eventually created a squad of miners, who coup-de-grace'd it with one pick swing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NESgamer190 on August 02, 2015, 09:41:21 am
Quote from: Rolan7 on August 01, 2015, 11:46:41 pm
Had a similar situation today when a cave crocodile crawled into my dining hall.  I nearly lost about 30 dwarves.

...To dehydration.  The crocodile killed a woodcutter, but got its toe cut up and his head dented.  The other dwarves, having a party, surged forward for vengeance as it collapsed from the pain.  They spent like 2-3 seasons crawling over each other, landing 65 pages of punches on its head.  More dwarves would enter the dining room to eat, and would instead join the punch-orgy.  Every blow "bruised" the muscle or fat, which apparently does nothing??  Except maybe keep it unconscious, as it kept waking up then collapsing immediately from the pain. 

At first it was hilarious, then they started getting hungry (and the combat skill gains were disappointing).  It apparently wasn't going to bleed out from its mangled toe, either.  I eventually created a squad of miners, who coup-de-grace'd it with one pick swing.

You weren't alone on having a situation like that, except instead of a cave crocodile, it was actually a grizzly bear.  My fort sadly met its end to this.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HDSlugMoar on August 02, 2015, 11:48:47 pm
Quote from: Rolan7 on August 01, 2015, 11:46:41 pm
Had a similar situation today when a cave crocodile crawled into my dining hall.  I nearly lost about 30 dwarves.

...To dehydration.  The crocodile killed a woodcutter, but got its toe cut up and his head dented.  The other dwarves, having a party, surged forward for vengeance as it collapsed from the pain.  They spent like 2-3 seasons crawling over each other, landing 65 pages of punches on its head.  More dwarves would enter the dining room to eat, and would instead join the punch-orgy.  Every blow "bruised" the muscle or fat, which apparently does nothing??  Except maybe keep it unconscious, as it kept waking up then collapsing immediately from the pain. 

At first it was hilarious, then they started getting hungry (and the combat skill gains were disappointing).  It apparently wasn't going to bleed out from its mangled toe, either.  I eventually created a squad of miners, who coup-de-grace'd it with one pick swing.

Also had a similar situation with giant olms in my main stairway. They managed to get the attention of every dwarves in my fort. After about a week everything passes out from exhaustion. However half my dwarves get legendary observer skills and I'm able to just assign some dwarves to a squad and get the olms killed.

Also, my most recent facepalm was when i tried to create a new race from existing raws but then some how ended up with all dwarves in all worlds with the edit becoming hydras, all elves becoming sea serpents, unable to get out of their trees, and all humans become mermen/mermaids, who drown because they can't get to water....

But then i realized i shouldn't facepalm, this is a blessing from Armok, finally dwarves will wipe out the immobile elven serpents and kill off all of the remaining mermen.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rolan7 on August 02, 2015, 11:58:22 pm
Yeah they all got high Observer, whatever that does, but little else :/
And nice, sounds like some excellent duplicated raws!  (Duplicating raws, whatever that means exactly, can make the everything go crazy).  I kinda want to download a fun "broken" raw set like that sometime just for the insanity.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Amperzand on August 03, 2015, 12:47:07 am
Honestly, that might end up being the best thing.

And yeah, the whole civilians harmlessly mobbing an unconscious enemy until they starve to death problem seems to be fairly common, I ended up nearly losing half my fort to the first and only giant bat in my world.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HDSlugMoar on August 03, 2015, 09:34:20 am
The problem with the giant creatures is that punching and kicking them has no effect and that's all your dwarves do if they are not in a squad, however these giant creatures also usually get beaten unconscious quickly because all of your dwarves are usually hitting them in the head which means it will kill more dwarves by canceling their drinking and eating then by killing them itself. However after I had this problem a few times I found that if you just assign some dwarves to a squad with metal weapons or even just wooden weapons they will find some sort of tool and use that instead of just punching the thing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LordBrassroast on August 03, 2015, 12:36:43 pm
Building a moat around a hill like this:

#: Hill wall
<: Ramp
. : Hole
  : Ground
|/- : Bridge

##### ####
<.<<<-<<<.<
  .               .
  ........|........

And forgetting to remove the ramps, so the goblins just walked up the hill and then down, and then into the fort.
>_<
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MobRules on August 03, 2015, 12:47:19 pm
Quote from: HDSlugMoar on August 03, 2015, 09:34:20 am
The problem with the giant creatures is that punching and kicking them has no effect and that's all your dwarves do if they are not in a squad, however these giant creatures also usually get beaten unconscious quickly because all of your dwarves are usually hitting them in the head which means it will kill more dwarves by canceling their drinking and eating then by killing them itself. However after I had this problem a few times I found that if you just assign some dwarves to a squad with metal weapons or even just wooden weapons they will find some sort of tool and use that instead of just punching the thing.

Thank you! I had one fort where a crocodile ambushed one of my seven almost immediately on embark. Four others ran over to help him -- but once the croc let go, rather than carry their semiconscious comrade to safety, they insisted on continuing to kick and punch the semiconscious crocodile while their companion bled out, until they all nearly died of thirst.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LordBrassroast on August 03, 2015, 04:11:27 pm
Also, when I learned you could designate stairwells more than one layer at a time.

Ugh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PyroTechno on August 09, 2015, 05:59:17 pm
So, I walled off a small area in a nightmare biome and started digging a staircase down.

I built this staircase in the corner, directly against the walls, which is the basis for a teleportation bug.

Queue half of the fortress trapped outside in a nightmare biome for months without me noticing. And then, queue the zombie birds.

Here's a hint: it didn't end well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on August 09, 2015, 09:30:26 pm
So, im in a half animating biome, half good, with a dying civ. There have been some fun moments, like the undead ravens that keep popping up, and mauling someone.

1st facepalm: i wad wondering why the 1st victim temains untreated. Id forgotten to enable all of the heal labors.

2) the king has a VERY nice set of rooms. He dies, fir whstever reason. I goto place another sarcophagus, only to see a zombie dwarf standing where the king was buried.  "Well, that is odd, how did... OH DEAR GOD, OTS A REANIMATING BIOME!" So one dwarf gets attacked. I aent the military, and the all die. THEN comes every dwarf looking to take care of every dock cloth, and disose of every body, that is currently mauling them i got the are walled off with 3 dwarves surviving out of 53.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Insert_Gnome_Here on August 10, 2015, 04:55:41 pm
Quote from: MobRules on August 03, 2015, 12:47:19 pm
Quote from: HDSlugMoar on August 03, 2015, 09:34:20 am
The problem with the giant creatures is that punching and kicking them has no effect and that's all your dwarves do if they are not in a squad, however these giant creatures also usually get beaten unconscious quickly because all of your dwarves are usually hitting them in the head which means it will kill more dwarves by canceling their drinking and eating then by killing them itself. However after I had this problem a few times I found that if you just assign some dwarves to a squad with metal weapons or even just wooden weapons they will find some sort of tool and use that instead of just punching the thing.

Thank you! I had one fort where a crocodile ambushed one of my seven almost immediately on embark. Four others ran over to help him -- but once the croc let go, rather than carry their semiconscious comrade to safety, they insisted on continuing to kick and punch the semiconscious crocodile while their companion bled out, until they all nearly died of thirst.

If you have a burrow a long way from the conflict, you can set it as an alert zone thingy and all the civilians run there and stop attacking. Downside is the job cancellations.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Crazy Horse on August 11, 2015, 08:03:25 am
A metalsmith carrying a tin yak bull cage from a trap near the edge of the map with undead invaders slowly bearing down on him. Job cancellations and burrows wouldn't stop him from showing off his strength.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PyroTechno on August 11, 2015, 08:43:56 am
Quote from: Crazy Horse on August 11, 2015, 08:03:25 am
A metalsmith carrying a tin yak bull cage from a trap near the edge of the map with undead invaders slowly bearing down on him. Job cancellations and burrows wouldn't stop him from showing off his strength.

Were they cliche fast zombies, or cliche slow zombies? If they were slow, he didn't have anything to worry about and he knew it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Crazy Horse on August 11, 2015, 02:38:39 pm
The corpses were incredibly slow but slightly faster than the smith, it was like watching a bearded slug race. He did live but only because I sent a few cheesemakers with training axes to buy him time to get the last few tiles past the drawbridge.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on August 11, 2015, 07:33:28 pm
Did you try forbidding the cage? I forget whether that works or not.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Crazy Horse on August 12, 2015, 06:58:52 am
Yes, that didn't stop the task either. Also removed stockpile, removed him from task on joblist and forbid the area. It seems hauling is only stopped by some sort of direct attack on dwarf. Fun stuff.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on August 12, 2015, 11:17:20 pm
Hmm... maybe if you blocked the route to his destination? For instance, briefly closing the front gate might cause him to re-evaluate (rhyme not intended, but not unwelcome.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on August 13, 2015, 05:29:29 am
Forbidding the hauled item normally _does_ cancel the job. However, when the dwarf immediately chains up a "self-maintenance" job (pick up new clothes, drink, attend meeting, possibly also sleep/eat), they'll fail to drop the hauled item and drag it along to the food stockpile or wherever they decided to go. You'll have to interrupt their _new_ job to get them to let go of the item. Fortunately, as bumber said, general pathing interruption could do this.

BTW, i often assign wheelbarrows to "animal" stockpiles. That way, dwarfs haul cages at their normal walking speed and not at a snail's pace.

PS: Urist McParttimeFisherdwarf "went missing". Dang, should've paid better attention when the last langur invasion rolled through town. The report explicitly said "The langur attacks the farmer but she jumps away!". Nothing good can come of a dodging dwarf: she had dodged into a 1-wide 1-deep channel and promptly drowned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: escondida on August 13, 2015, 07:43:13 am
While dealing with five years worth of accumulated prisoners by mass-pitting them into my arena, I discovered the new bug wherein dwarves will start to pit a creature, but then change their mind and just let it out of its cage. Fun was averted by a narrow margin, and now I'm having to build dozens of cages and link levers to them individually.

Also, despite having witnessed maybe a half dozen goblin, troll and zombie deaths before the bug cropped up, none of the dwarves watching from the seating above gained even a single level of hardening, which is a tragedy unto itself.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SNV on August 18, 2015, 12:04:44 pm
The biggest casualties in this fort I suffered from werebeasts. So I built death chamber especialy for finishing the bitten dwarves. But before it was built I just kept bitten dwarfes sealed shut. After one of the four isolated dwarves starved to death I realized, that they were not infected and released them, they are still alive. But later with migrant wave heavily injured dwarf arrived. I suspected that he was bitten by werebeast and even impailed him with floor spikes once before thinking that I was mistaken and leaving him...
...Just for him to turn and kill 5 dwarves. After that I kill every dwarf who was barely touched by a werebeast.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cryxis, Prince of Doom on August 18, 2015, 09:37:06 pm
Forgetting to brew alcohol for a few months pudding off my dwarves then forgetting the next year again and the year after that till one dwarf snaps,"I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE I NEED BOOZE AHAHAHHHHHHHHHHGGGHHHHHHHHH" he screamed as he ripped Urist's throat out in a deranged and psychotic episode
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Foxite on August 19, 2015, 02:56:09 pm
I always thought kobolds were even smaller and sturdier versions of dwarves. But apparently, they are just intelligent reptiles. (Google image it)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: escondida on August 19, 2015, 04:19:26 pm
Quote from: latias1290 on August 19, 2015, 02:56:09 pm
I always thought kobolds were even smaller and sturdier versions of dwarves. But apparently, they are just intelligent reptiles. (Google image it)

Well, there have been a number of different interpretations of kobolds over the years. The reptile version is based on D&D's kobolds, but the original German myths had them as a variant on goblins/brownies/house spirits, often inhabiting mines and playing tricks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on August 19, 2015, 04:47:12 pm
Quote from: escondida on August 19, 2015, 04:19:26 pm
Quote from: latias1290 on August 19, 2015, 02:56:09 pm
I always thought kobolds were even smaller and sturdier versions of dwarves. But apparently, they are just intelligent reptiles. (Google image it)

Well, there have been a number of different interpretations of kobolds over the years. The reptile version is based on D&D's kobolds, but the original German myths had them as a variant on goblins/brownies/house spirits, often inhabiting mines and playing tricks.
DF's kobolds are described as somewhat dog-like. I imagine them like RO's kobolds:
(http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/ragnarok8812/images/3/3a/RO_KoboldArcher.gif/revision/latest?cb=20130304105416)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FriarVicaris on August 20, 2015, 03:56:14 am
My woodworker just died "fighting" a wood log.

Ridiculous, but on the other hand, good riddance. The guy was always on a break whenever I needed him the most and he also made the most awe-uninspiring artifact: a wooden cage named after himself. He was possessed when he made it so he didn't even become a legendary wood crafter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SNV on August 20, 2015, 12:20:48 pm
I tried to pit giant cave swallow recently.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StumpytheOzzie on August 20, 2015, 02:14:26 pm
Built a bridge over a volcano.

Tested it just as my master leatherworker decides to pick up a lump of galena from the wrong side of the volcano.

On the upside, he discovered some candy in the volcano.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: achamalacha on August 23, 2015, 09:55:29 am
Recently I tried the retirement mechanics... The wiki states, that the position of dwarfs isn't preserved, and dwarfs are randomly distributed on unretirement, but who gives, right?

On unretirement after fooling around in adventure mode (trapped in a dwarf fortress... who would have guessed) I revisited my well running fort... just to find some semiwild crundles on the loose as well as a stray dragon.
As if this wasn't !FUN! enough, a FB murdered his way through my fortress... Well, FB positions aren't preserved as well...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fawnek on August 23, 2015, 05:17:59 pm
well i had a troglodyte fall to his death in the cavern... fell about 4 z levels then slid down the ramp and fell another 2 z levels. blood is all over
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ianflow on August 24, 2015, 06:50:05 am
Quote from: Bumber on August 19, 2015, 04:47:12 pm
Quote from: escondida on August 19, 2015, 04:19:26 pm
Quote from: latias1290 on August 19, 2015, 02:56:09 pm
I always thought kobolds were even smaller and sturdier versions of dwarves. But apparently, they are just intelligent reptiles. (Google image it)

Well, there have been a number of different interpretations of kobolds over the years. The reptile version is based on D&D's kobolds, but the original German myths had them as a variant on goblins/brownies/house spirits, often inhabiting mines and playing tricks.
DF's kobolds are described as somewhat dog-like. I imagine them like RO's kobolds:
(http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/ragnarok8812/images/3/3a/RO_KoboldArcher.gif/revision/latest?cb=20130304105416)

I see them as a sort of canine and reptile hybrid, like Kangaroos or a type of alien Monotreme.
In other words: Cutebolds
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: helmacon on August 24, 2015, 07:42:32 pm
The first time i was working with magma, I didn't realize you had to use magma safe materials. I was at a volcano so my fort flooded from the top down. It was awesome. The only survivor was a dwarf who had an artifact iron door that i locked in his room. I like to think that there's still a tiny stone room holding the dusty bones of a lone dwarf somewhere in the midst of a ever burning fortress. Centuries later, archaeologists will be baffled by this lone stone room surrounded by obsidian, miles below the earth.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on August 24, 2015, 08:35:09 pm
Quote from: helmacon on August 24, 2015, 07:42:32 pm
Centuries later, archaeologists will be baffled by this lone stone room surrounded by obsidian, miles below the earth.
No they won't. Dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skribbblie on August 24, 2015, 11:19:20 pm
I didn't know, for the longest time, that you could make pots out of rock. So I usually mass-produced stoneware pots instead, from fire clay.

IT BLEW MY MIND when I learned I could store booze and food away with just rocks! I mean sure, it gets hauled slower, but who cares?! It's an infinite solution to storing my vast supplies of consumables!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fawnek on August 25, 2015, 12:43:06 am
Quote from: Bumber on August 19, 2015, 04:47:12 pm
Quote from: escondida on August 19, 2015, 04:19:26 pm
Quote from: latias1290 on August 19, 2015, 02:56:09 pm
I always thought kobolds were even smaller and sturdier versions of dwarves. But apparently, they are just intelligent reptiles. (Google image it)

Well, there have been a number of different interpretations of kobolds over the years. The reptile version is based on D&D's kobolds, but the original German myths had them as a variant on goblins/brownies/house spirits, often inhabiting mines and playing tricks.
DF's kobolds are described as somewhat dog-like. I imagine them like RO's kobolds:
(http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/ragnarok8812/images/3/3a/RO_KoboldArcher.gif/revision/latest?cb=20130304105416)

actually toady drew us a picture (http://) http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Kobold
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urlance Woolsbane on August 25, 2015, 12:14:40 pm
I recently had a fort in a haunted biome. The Dwarves were comfortably burrowed into the hill, cut off from the outside world, with a drawbridge to allow the entrance of merchants and migrants. Strategically-placed cage-traps prevented things from getting too out of hand.

The fort had gone along for a year or two, when a Titan (a pterosaur) came. It wandered about for a while, oddly not flying in, before gaining entrance with some merchants. It slaughtered them, and proceeded past my cage-traps unaffected. I dispatched my militia, which made short work of it. I didn't want an undead Titan, nor did I want to pass up the opportunity for Titan-meat, so I ordered my butcher to butcher a corpse (the titan being the only uncaged and unanimated cadaver, as far as I knew.) The corpse disappeared, and I naively assumed that it had been cut-up. I soon learned how wrong I was.

The thing had been taken to the corpse stockpile, from whence it proceeded to rise and begin its slaughter anew. In desperation (and failing to realize that the corpse must have retained its trap-immunity, else it would never have gotten past the stockpile) I sent my dwarves to a little room on a lower lever, past a line of cage traps. There were too many zombies by now, and loosing seven of their number did little to lessen the danger.

Only one dwarf survived, a woodcutter (who had become hardened to seeing his comrades killed,) who managed to fall down the drawbridge-pit. Deconstructing the floor that sealed him in, he managed to make do with the supplies at the nearby Trade Depot. He sealed himself off from the deathtrap that Yoremanners had become, proceeding to mine out a new bunker, in the hopes of eventually welcoming newcomers. Several migrants came, but he died of thirst before he could let them in. It was around this point that the game crashed.

Perhaps one day I shall return and avert the death of that heroic wretch.

Re Kobolds: I can't help but think of them like this-(http://www.dizionariovideogiochi.it/lib/exe/fetch.php?media=archivio_dvg_01:dungeons_dragons_-_shadow_over_mystara_-_06.png)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: escondida on August 28, 2015, 04:32:23 pm
Quote from: Skribbblie on August 24, 2015, 11:19:20 pm
I didn't know, for the longest time, that you could make pots out of rock. So I usually mass-produced stoneware pots instead, from fire clay.

You can also make wooden pots, which are even lighter than wooden barrels--and given 2014's abundance of wood, they're finally viable. In 0.34.11, rock pots were in vogue because each tree you cut only provided one log, so deforesting the map would leave you with maybe a couple hundred logs, rather than a couple thousand.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skribbblie on August 28, 2015, 06:58:53 pm
Quote from: escondida on August 28, 2015, 04:32:23 pm
Quote from: Skribbblie on August 24, 2015, 11:19:20 pm
I didn't know, for the longest time, that you could make pots out of rock. So I usually mass-produced stoneware pots instead, from fire clay.

You can also make wooden pots, which are even lighter than wooden barrels--and given 2014's abundance of wood, they're finally viable. In 0.34.11, rock pots were in vogue because each tree you cut only provided one log, so deforesting the map would leave you with maybe a couple hundred logs, rather than a couple thousand.
Indeed, but given how masochistically often I settle in evil biomes, I'm usually making rock pots anyway, to minimize my need for going outside and collecting more wood. The wood I have, then, is usually reserved strictly for beds, or other extenuating circumstances.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uberpooch on September 03, 2015, 02:54:12 pm
One of my first successful forts.  It had an extensive steel industry, a dining room with solid gold walls, platinum statues, and a mist generator, a GDP of a couple million dwarfbucks per year, and a happy, thriving populace.  The defenses were already formidable, but I figured I could always make them better.  I decided to channel out a moat to provide an extra layer of defense for the entrance.  As I opened the moat to the river, I began getting job cancellation warnings.  First a few, then more and more.  I checked to see what was wrong and discovered, to my horror, that I had channeled through the ceiling of the dining room, and over 2/3 of the fortress was now flooded.  I managed to wall off one small part, but the vast portion of it, including all of the architectural wealth and all of the stockpiles, were submerged forever.  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skribbblie on September 03, 2015, 03:45:58 pm
Quote from: Uberpooch on September 03, 2015, 02:54:12 pm
One of my first successful forts.  It had an extensive steel industry, a dining room with solid gold walls, platinum statues, and a mist generator, a GDP of a couple million dwarfbucks per year, and a happy, thriving populace.  The defenses were already formidable, but I figured I could always make them better.  I decided to channel out a moat to provide an extra layer of defense for the entrance.  As I opened the moat to the river, I began getting job cancellation warnings.  First a few, then more and more.  I checked to see what was wrong and discovered, to my horror, that I had channeled through the ceiling of the dining room, and over 2/3 of the fortress was now flooded.  I managed to wall off one small part, but the vast portion of it, including all of the architectural wealth and all of the stockpiles, were submerged forever.  :'(
Make a glass floor above the submerged fortress. It would be a fascinating spectacle to view a submerged fortress' wealth from above, while eating plump helmet biscuits in the new, cheap dining hall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 612DwarfAvenue on September 07, 2015, 03:58:08 pm
Quote from: escondida on August 19, 2015, 04:19:26 pm
Quote from: latias1290 on August 19, 2015, 02:56:09 pm
I always thought kobolds were even smaller and sturdier versions of dwarves. But apparently, they are just intelligent reptiles. (Google image it)

Well, there have been a number of different interpretations of kobolds over the years. The reptile version is based on D&D's kobolds, but the original German myths had them as a variant on goblins/brownies/house spirits, often inhabiting mines and playing tricks.

Because of growing up playing Baldur's Gate and Icewind Dale, Kobolds will always been the upright horned chihuahuas of the AD&D 2E era to me. :P

(http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/forgottenrealms/images/a/af/Kobold_s.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20090319094529)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McLaptop on September 11, 2015, 03:18:36 pm
I had a fortress in which I was so preoccupied with making food and making sure no one died from lack of food that I forgot doors or any sort of defense. My first danger of any kind took the form of a dragon. Now I had gotten some candy at this point and made a single sword. Again, defense was low on my list. So here comes this dragon melting my dwarves into piles of booze and fat. Every dwarf was consumed in fire (80) after I drafted each of them into the military, I panicked. But one dwarf was left. He was bedridden from a mining accident and broke a leg.he suddenly gets up and takes the candy sword. After beheading the dragon he died because the dragon clawed his torso to shred and melted his insides. Before he died I renamed him to Ronnie James Dio and changed his profession to dragonslayer. And so fell my fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dozebm Lolumzals on September 11, 2015, 03:37:03 pm
You do realize doors are useless against [BUILDING_DESTROYER:2]'s, such as dragons, forgotten beasts, and titans, correct?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McLaptop on September 11, 2015, 03:38:03 pm
Quote from: jwoodward48df on September 11, 2015, 03:37:03 pm
You do realize doors are useless against [BUILDING_DESTROYER:2]'s, such as dragons, forgotten beasts, and titans, correct?
Another thing I learned today, though usually I have an ungodly amount of serrated disc traps
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skribbblie on September 12, 2015, 03:58:19 am
Quote from: Urist McLaptop on September 11, 2015, 03:38:03 pm
Another thing I learned today, though usually I have an ungodly amount of serrated disc traps
And, of course, some monsters avoid traps AND don't care about your doors.

In which case, there's always walls. Or raised bridges.

Or SUMMON BIGGER FISH
600+ cave crocodiles
undead ravens
uhhhhhhh forbidden hatches at the tops of your stairways; they can't be destroyed by creatures below them, because that's just not how building destroying works.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Detros on September 14, 2015, 06:36:19 pm
Quote from: helmacon on August 24, 2015, 07:42:32 pm
The first time i was working with magma, I didn't realize you had to use magma safe materials. I was at a volcano so my fort flooded from the top down. It was awesome. The only survivor was a dwarf who had an artifact iron door that i locked in his room. I like to think that there's still a tiny stone room holding the dusty bones of a lone dwarf somewhere in the midst of a ever burning fortress. Centuries later, archaeologists will be baffled by this lone stone room surrounded by obsidian, miles below the earth.
Sounds like me thinking lead was magma resistant and trying to fill some lead minecarts with it... I think I managed to save one of four minecarts when I closed the input doors fast after three of them melted -.-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Morcaster on September 17, 2015, 02:56:47 pm
I Enabled 70 something dwarfs to fish to build one fishery and I ended up with about 3 20x20 stockpiles of fish.
Turns out I needed to enabled FISH FRIGGEN CLEANING and disable fishing. Face palm**
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: escondida on September 18, 2015, 07:30:21 am
Quote from: Skribbblie on September 12, 2015, 03:58:19 am
Quote from: Urist McLaptop on September 11, 2015, 03:38:03 pm
Another thing I learned today, though usually I have an ungodly amount of serrated disc traps
And, of course, some monsters avoid traps AND don't care about your doors.

In which case, there's always walls. Or raised bridges.
Or [....]
uhhhhhhh forbidden hatches at the tops of your stairways; they can't be destroyed by creatures below them, because that's just not how building destroying works.

Nice signature quote you have there (-:

You have to be careful when relying on forbidden hatches, because it's not that they simply *can't* be destroyed from beneath. They can't be destroyed from beneath as long as there isn't an accessible alternate path by which the building destroyer could reach the top of the hatch.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on September 18, 2015, 03:16:59 pm
Sat for five minutes watching hell workers remove constructions. Wondered why nothing had happened. Realized the game was paused.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skribbblie on September 19, 2015, 01:34:18 am
Quote from: escondida on September 18, 2015, 07:30:21 am
Nice signature quote you have there (-:

You have to be careful when relying on forbidden hatches, because it's not that they simply *can't* be destroyed from beneath. They can't be destroyed from beneath as long as there isn't an accessible alternate path by which the building destroyer could reach the top of the hatch.
Thank you P_P

Also, thing I learned o 3o I did not know that about hatches. Though I also never really have any alternate paths past my hatches.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NESgamer190 on September 19, 2015, 10:39:52 am
The big facepalm moment for me right now is utilizing an aquifer with my volcanic crater to jumpstart the obsidian industry.  No, I did not lose all my magma, but...  so...  many...  cave-ins.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on September 19, 2015, 07:20:28 pm
Quote from: NESgamer190 on September 19, 2015, 10:39:52 am
The big facepalm moment for me right now is utilizing an aquifer with my volcanic crater to jumpstart the obsidian industry.  No, I did not lose all my magma, but...  so...  many...  cave-ins.

There is a way to turn cave in notifications to "just run it across the bottom, but don't pause and zoom."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: chokepoint on September 20, 2015, 04:36:49 pm
 I built an open space in front and behind the targets to allow bolts to dop a z level so they don't break their training bolts as often. Hours of searching and almost giving up I notice a little line burried in the wiki tutorial that states marksdwarves must be able to reach their archery targets.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: paperhermit on September 21, 2015, 11:31:10 am
First year of a fortress. First migrants have arrived, a couple of kids with them. Miners are mining, the carpenter is doing buckets for the cheese maker. My food supply is the ol' plump helmet and fish. And the cheese. Quite close to my pen area for the sheep, there is a yak bull. He is there since we arrived, never bothered anyone. All is well. One of the migrants show some skill with hunting, so I equip him with wooden bolts, bone crossbow and a nice quiver. Another one has no skills whatsoever, he is quiet, no dreams, doesn't understand the social and has a hard time expressing himself. This guy becomes a temporary hauler for the woodcutter until I find something he can be happy working with. Meanwhile the hunter, happy with his new fancy quiver, goes straight for the yak. Shoots the hell out on it. He goes back for more ammo and empty his crossbow on this creature again. And then again. The yak is a complete walking cadaver at this point, with bruises and broken everything everywhere. Head split open. The hunter goes to the hills and completely forget about it, probably gave up on killing this freaking thing. One of the kids, the weird one, who would hang out on the meeting hall by himself, staring endless hours at the tables and chairs, finally decides to take a breather outside. He is content, despite not liking to eat in the crowded table. All is well and the world is the same as ever.

I was occupied supervising the miners with a 7 levels deep channel we were building to bring some of the river underground and make our fishing bis an underground thing. Suddenly my cheese maker stops milking her sheep. She is in shock. The yak bull attacked and killed the weird kid while he was outside. The expedition leader goes outside to build the windmill and also finds the body. The yak attacks him as well and the two of them goes into this spectacular fight. No one is armed at this point, we don't even have a militia commander on the job. Fortune holds it that the hunter is coming back while the leader is fighting with the yak. The hunter proceeds to shoot at the thing again, but yet again it fails to die. My dwarf manages to punch the yaks mouth into orbit, spreading its teeth all over the place. Its nose is also cut off and is on the ground when the fight is over...along with its second victim. By now everyone who goes outside is shocked...except Urist Mcnosobright, who simply goes by the bloody scene, pick up the teeth, the nose and the cadavers and put everything tidy on its respective piles.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dozebm Lolumzals on September 25, 2015, 03:09:26 pm
Best.  Yak.  Ever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drokles on September 27, 2015, 04:34:32 am
FB attacks. It's a lizard that undulates rhythmically with a venomous bite.
Station military near where it appeared. Wait for it to make the first move.
Nothing happens.
The FB is stuck on a towercap and can't get down.
At this point the military is waiting patiently for my woodcutter to get down from the surface to chop down the towercap. The fight is extremely easy and would have been without casualties on our side if it wasn't for the grotesque mess that became of our woodcutter when the FB landed on him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Treah on September 28, 2015, 01:01:19 pm
Quote from: Drokles on September 27, 2015, 04:34:32 am
FB attacks. It's a lizard that undulates rhythmically with a venomous bite.
Station military near where it appeared. Wait for it to make the first move.
Nothing happens.
The FB is stuck on a towercap and can't get down.
At this point the military is waiting patiently for my woodcutter to get down from the surface to chop down the towercap. The fight is extremely easy and would have been without casualties on our side if it wasn't for the grotesque mess that became of our woodcutter when the FB landed on him.

LOL man I can just imagine this happening as this massive lizzard comes crashing down with the giant mushroom squishing the guy and spraying his blood all over the waiting military....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on September 28, 2015, 07:20:22 pm
Quote from: Drokles on September 27, 2015, 04:34:32 am
FB attacks. It's a lizard that undulates rhythmically with a venomous bite.
Station military near where it appeared. Wait for it to make the first move.
Nothing happens.
The FB is stuck on a towercap and can't get down.
At this point the military is waiting patiently for my woodcutter to get down from the surface to chop down the towercap. The fight is extremely easy and would have been without casualties on our side if it wasn't for the grotesque mess that became of our woodcutter when the FB landed on him.

How very dwary. You win five dwarfbucks for that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tawa on September 29, 2015, 04:58:10 pm
A huge fecking army showed up and I made the mistake of building the lever for the bridge in the barracks, instead of the meeting hall. A few enemies got in, thankfully the traps shredded them but now we have a tantrum spiral on our hands.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: celem on September 29, 2015, 07:16:42 pm
Just had a most inopportune gremlin attack.  At the back of my walled-off courtyard, behind the refuse piles is an atom-smasher, its lever is about 15 tiles away in a groundfloor room of a tower.

Said gremlin got to the lever and gave it a good yank, unfortunately there was a dwarf using the dump zone at the time and the poor guy was oblivionised.

Even more unfortunately it was an off-duty militia member, his squad are taking it well, but my chief armourer is not impressed with the simultaneous destruction of an entire suit of masterwork steel....not impressed at all...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Atarlost on September 30, 2015, 01:45:32 am
Urist mcFumblefingers, broker is trading. 
Urist mcFumblefingers, broker has painstakingly selected all the large troll fur loincloths and XX+{☼emu leather sock☼}+XXs from the hundred finished goods bins I hauled to the depot.
Urist mcFumblefingers fatfingers the 'a' key to select everything. 

No, I don't want to sieze your goods.  Come back here.  You are not leaving this map without at least 5000 urists of secondhand clothing. 

Urist mcFumblegingers forcequits in rage and has to redo six hours of gameplay. 

But at least this time I can get rid of all the trash that I can't burn without making my tailors go berserk. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: escondida on October 04, 2015, 07:24:44 am
Ah, man, that's the worst. I, too, learned the hard way always to save (dfhack's quicksave, or save then reload) before trading, because I--er, all my brokers--also have fumblefingers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: steel jackal on October 05, 2015, 10:11:34 am
for a person who couldent even figure out how to make a farm for the first month (irl month) ive had a lot of facepalm moments

my most recent was with reclaiming a fort, all this time when a wearbeast or megabeast had killed my fortress in the PERFECT location (sand, clay, deep soil, flux stone, shallow metals, deep metals, no aquifer, 100% flat land, ton of trees to murder in the name of pissing off elves) before the first caravan even arrived, i could have just abandoned the fort and reclaimed it

would still have that epic embark site and even some free stuff left by the last batch of beastfodder dwarves

there was the slight issue of the ghost of some human who apparently crawled onto the land and died in the short time between the first attempt and the second, but one engraved slab later and he was gone

ive been playing DF for maby 2 years now, had plenty of facepalms and bound to have a lot more

heres a quick summary of other BASIC things that ive only recently figured out

dimple cups are not food and are only used for dye
you need a farmers workshop to refine pig tails into thread
strange mood dwarves requesting thread/cloth do not always define whether they want plant, silk, or yarn and they are not interchangeable
ARMOK: oh you got an entire wall of fortifications and glass surrounding your fort? tell me more about how you think your safe from outside threats *sends flying megabeast*
urist MChammerdwarf attacks coral megabeast in the wing with *copper warhammer* and chips it, urist MCchucknorristheplanter punches the coral megabeast in the wing, the part explodes
megabeast blood causes dwarves guts to rot out and should be cleaned immediately
children who survive a wearbeast attack that have their arteries torn, their legs ripped off, and are unconscious can and will spontaneously make a full recovery upon a full moon and will do far more damage than the first wearbeast did
dwarves dont care about nudity and will get naked then streak though the halls in full view of children, all across the fortress to get new clothes if their old ones were slightly worn
dwarf+river+draining said river=dwarves trying to path over 2 high water and then being sucked into the swirling vortex of the draining river
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Camulus on October 07, 2015, 01:07:26 pm
1....2....3....4

Like... lemmings.

First a baby, then a macedwarve and now the two spearwielders.
I have lost four dwarves to gravity in two separate barracks within the same tower.

 

(http://puu.sh/kBUl9/d770b4d4f7.png)
(http://puu.sh/kBUFN/72aadf09a7.png)

My expert speardwarf is drowning next to the baby corpse as I type this.
(http://puu.sh/kBUBU/85111d9174.png)


Well then you midgets, descend into the earth and train there before the axelord, one of two survivors of the Blackspire Sentinels, also tries to defy gravity.

Dwarves, sadly, will never fly.

Not sure if this wall phasing sparring bug is documented, but it took out three of my best warriors withouth them ever facing any notable enemies.
How...... anticlimactic.





Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PyroTechno on October 07, 2015, 01:37:03 pm
Quote from: Camulus on October 07, 2015, 01:07:26 pm
1....2....3....4

Like... lemmings.

First a baby, then a macedwarve and now the two spearwielders.
I have lost four dwarves to gravity in two separate barracks within the same tower.

 

(http://puu.sh/kBUl9/d770b4d4f7.png)
(http://puu.sh/kBUFN/72aadf09a7.png)

My expert speardwarf is drowning next to the baby corpse as I type this.
(http://puu.sh/kBUBU/85111d9174.png)


Well then you midgets, descend into the earth and train there before the axelord, one of two survivors of the Blackspire Sentinels, also tries to defy gravity.

Dwarves, sadly, will never fly.

Not sure if this wall phasing sparring bug is documented, but it took out three of my best warriors withouth them ever facing any notable enemies.
How...... anticlimactic.

Dodging through walls is, indeed, a known bug. That's why training towers are generally a bad idea. Make them on ground level or underground - in general, wherever random teleporting dodging won't get your dwarves in trouble.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatZommy on October 08, 2015, 02:44:19 am
About five seconds ago when after building a complicated, time consuming and important sewer system...
But I used wall grates instead of doors/whatever you should use. So all the bits that are supposed to stop water or toggle water's passage were ignored. No fortress flooding, but I've no idea how to fix this.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Amperzand on October 08, 2015, 04:47:56 am
Shut off the water, go through and replace everything.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PyroTechno on October 08, 2015, 11:53:27 am
The mayor of my fortress has prohibited the export of barrels.

In a fortress that relies on the export of food and drink to pay for critical leather supplies (this world has no pig tails or any other textile plants).

 ::) At least I have large pots.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: cochramd on October 08, 2015, 12:23:13 pm
Quote from: PyroTechno on October 08, 2015, 11:53:27 am
The mayor of my fortress has prohibited the export of barrels.

In a fortress that relies on the export of food and drink to pay for critical leather supplies (this world has no pig tails or any other textile plants).

 ::) At least I have large pots.

Wait, you mean that you actually make barrels and don't use large wooden pots for all food storage purposes beyond the barrels you get from embark and trade?

Do people actually do this?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dirst on October 08, 2015, 12:32:54 pm
Quote from: cochramd on October 08, 2015, 12:23:13 pm
Wait, you mean that you actually make barrels and don't use large wooden pots for all food storage purposes beyond the barrels you get from embark and trade?

Do people actually do this?
How else do you reproduce one of the dumbest scenes from the dumbest screen adaptation of The Hobbit ever?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PyroTechno on October 08, 2015, 01:24:43 pm
Quote from: cochramd on October 08, 2015, 12:23:13 pm
Quote from: PyroTechno on October 08, 2015, 11:53:27 am
The mayor of my fortress has prohibited the export of barrels.

In a fortress that relies on the export of food and drink to pay for critical leather supplies (this world has no pig tails or any other textile plants).

 ::) At least I have large pots.

Wait, you mean that you actually make barrels and don't use large wooden pots for all food storage purposes beyond the barrels you get from embark and trade?

Do people actually do this?

I usually embark on low-to-no forestation embarks to avoid lag and make large stone pots. Some jobs, however, explicitly require barrels for some reason - Process Plant (to barrel) and the like. From then on, you have barrels floating around, so some of them are always going to end up in food and drink storage.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatZommy on October 08, 2015, 01:32:50 pm
Quote from: Amperzand on October 08, 2015, 04:47:56 am
Shut off the water, go through and replace everything.
I- I can't, my shutoff valve was a grate.
 :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on October 08, 2015, 06:57:18 pm
Quote from: ThatZommy on October 08, 2015, 01:32:50 pm
Quote from: Amperzand on October 08, 2015, 04:47:56 am
Shut off the water, go through and replace everything.
I- I can't, my shutoff valve was a grate.
 :(

Looks like you need to dig down to the magma sea, build a magma-proof cart, and use said cart to dump some lava so it falls onto the water, creating obsidian and blocking off your water supply.  Easy-peasy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on October 09, 2015, 02:29:29 am
Quote from: ThatZommy on October 08, 2015, 01:32:50 pm
Quote from: Amperzand on October 08, 2015, 04:47:56 am
Shut off the water, go through and replace everything.
I- I can't, my shutoff valve was a grate.
 :(

Brilliant!
I locked in my dorfs when experimenting with flood gates... did not know they can only be moved with levers

Your best bet would be to try and reroute the water, might need to sacrifice a miner. Dig the alternative route one level below the intended intercept point, and all the way to the map boundary. There, you carve a fortification into the wall. Then, dig an up ramp or a stair from below into the current duct. Cross your fingers that the miner escapes the pressurised water... Careful to put doors into the access tunnel to the new water pipe ;) You might also want to put in a lever operated door or floodgate into the new pipe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on October 09, 2015, 02:59:19 am
Quote from: Rockphed on October 08, 2015, 06:57:18 pm
Quote from: ThatZommy on October 08, 2015, 01:32:50 pm
Quote from: Amperzand on October 08, 2015, 04:47:56 am
Shut off the water, go through and replace everything.
I- I can't, my shutoff valve was a grate.
 :(

Looks like you need to dig down to the magma sea, build a magma-proof cart, and use said cart to dump some lava so it falls onto the water, creating obsidian and blocking off your water supply.  Easy-peasy.
Or just cause a cave-in.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Amperzand on October 09, 2015, 04:57:05 am
Also worth noting; If you include an escape route and retask him fast enough, the miner used for water redirection might escape, liquids flow really quite slowly unless they've been pressurized.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Elderon on October 09, 2015, 01:59:14 pm
After 2 days of frustration about my military dwarves not wearing armor i discover that replace clothes/over clothing has to be set for every dwarf individually...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PyroTechno on October 09, 2015, 03:30:27 pm
Quote from: Elderon on October 09, 2015, 01:59:14 pm
After 2 days of frustration about my military dwarves not wearing armor i discover that replace clothes/over clothing has to be set for every dwarf individually...

You can set it when you create or modify the preset uniform.

Link to the wiki for more information. (http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Squad#Equipping_Soldiers)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on October 09, 2015, 03:33:41 pm
Quote from: Elderon on October 09, 2015, 01:59:14 pm
After 2 days of frustration about my military dwarves not wearing armor i discover that replace clothes/over clothing has to be set for every dwarf individually...
WHAT GODDAMNIT

Thanks for cluing me in on that before my turn at Doomforests ended.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PyroTechno on October 09, 2015, 03:35:09 pm
Quote from: TheFlame52 on October 09, 2015, 03:33:41 pm
Quote from: Elderon on October 09, 2015, 01:59:14 pm
After 2 days of frustration about my military dwarves not wearing armor i discover that replace clothes/over clothing has to be set for every dwarf individually...
WHAT GODDAMNIT

Thanks for cluing me in on that before my turn at Doomforests ended.

It doesn't have to be, you can do it with uniforms.

Quote from: PyroTechno on October 09, 2015, 03:30:27 pm
Quote from: Elderon on October 09, 2015, 01:59:14 pm
After 2 days of frustration about my military dwarves not wearing armor i discover that replace clothes/over clothing has to be set for every dwarf individually...

You can set it when you create or modify the preset uniform.

Link to the wiki for more information. (http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Squad#Equipping_Soldiers)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on October 10, 2015, 11:44:03 am
Quote from: cochramd on October 08, 2015, 12:23:13 pm
Wait, you mean that you actually make barrels and don't use large wooden pots for all food storage purposes beyond the barrels you get from embark and trade?

Do people actually do this?
I do. I don't use any containers for solid food storage, and I'd rather train Carpentry than Woodcrafting. Booze hauling isn't a concern, because I don't have any booze stockpiles.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: cochramd on October 10, 2015, 12:52:36 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on October 10, 2015, 11:44:03 am
I do. I don't use any containers for solid food storage, and I'd rather train Carpentry than Woodcrafting. Booze hauling isn't a concern, because I don't have any booze stockpiles.
Counterpoint: Bins, and cages if you're into trapping animals.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Drokles on October 11, 2015, 06:32:11 am
My latest attempt at making my GCS spew web.
Assign Urist to station in front of fortifications.
Urist goes past the station point and into another room where a drawbridge retracts repeatedly to let the web fall.
Urist walks onto the bridge.
The bridge retracts so that Urist falls one z level and somehow manages to break his neck which is now bleeding heavily.
Urist walks back up spraying blood everywhere and tries to station again.
He walks into the room with the GCS.
He stupidly dies from bleeding in the doorway so that GCS is free to roam the fort as his last act of defiance against a lazy god who just wants silk ffs...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on October 11, 2015, 08:47:59 pm
Quote from: cochramd on October 10, 2015, 12:52:36 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on October 10, 2015, 11:44:03 am
I do. I don't use any containers for solid food storage, and I'd rather train Carpentry than Woodcrafting. Booze hauling isn't a concern, because I don't have any booze stockpiles.
Counterpoint: Bins, and cages if you're into trapping animals.
I don't get how that's a counterpoint...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: cochramd on October 13, 2015, 11:15:09 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on October 11, 2015, 08:47:59 pm
I don't get how that's a counterpoint...
Your fortress needs lots of bins, and might need cages as well, so it's not like you have any shortage of repeatable carpenter tasks where you don't mind if the output is of low quality. With pots, you can stretch your wood supply out further, either by using it for food storage more efficiently or by using stone for food storage instead.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on October 15, 2015, 01:36:57 am
Ah. I don't use bins either. For most binnable items, the workshop makes the best container. I don't often make large numbers of cages and very rarely need a large number right after embark. Wooden cages are lighter to move to the trapping area, but I would rather not be racing against time when setting traps.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Trappington on October 17, 2015, 12:23:45 pm
So I was recently attacked by a dragon...
No biggie, just close the bridges until the militia assembles, and then lower them and send them out to take care of it.  Max losses of like 1 or 2 dorfs.

Mistake 1: Not realizing that you are currently working on getting all of your militia dwarfs steel shields but not all of them have been made yet so about half of your force is shield-less.

Mistake 2: Forget that you didn't channel out the tiles below each of the drawbridges when they are down.

Result: A mace lord and hammer lord plus another militia dwarf dead from dragon fire and half of your livestock dead or burned beyond recognition because the fire got through your closed drawbridge through the unchanneled tiles.

And of course facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PyroTechno on October 20, 2015, 12:46:17 pm
I just tried to reclaim Horrorfailed.

(http://i.imgur.com/wKok4qh.jpg)

So much for that...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FortunaDraken on October 20, 2015, 07:44:07 pm
Human caravan arrives. We trade, I debate getting some cloth. Decide not to, since we're making plenty of ramie thread thanks to the above-ground farms, and they don't have more silk cloth which we can't make yet.

They leave.

IMMEDIATELY AFTER THEY DO my clothier gets possessed. He wants cloth, but won't move. Guess which type of cloth I didn't get that I don't have......

Also don't have a shearable critter, so might have to dig through DFhack in order to try and spawn one in. I don't want to lose a clothier, he's the best one I have.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: madmario on October 21, 2015, 03:22:22 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on October 10, 2015, 11:44:03 am
Quote from: cochramd on October 08, 2015, 12:23:13 pm
Wait, you mean that you actually make barrels and don't use large wooden pots for all food storage purposes beyond the barrels you get from embark and trade?

Do people actually do this?
I do. I don't use any containers for solid food storage, and I'd rather train Carpentry than Woodcrafting. Booze hauling isn't a concern, because I don't have any booze stockpiles.

I do too.  Booze in a barrel reminds me of the suffering of elves.  Who drinks from a big stone pot?   Pots are for pissing.   Drinking straight from the barrel though--that has style.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PyroTechno on October 21, 2015, 03:53:41 pm
Quote from: FortunaDraken on October 20, 2015, 07:44:07 pm
Human caravan arrives. We trade, I debate getting some cloth. Decide not to, since we're making plenty of ramie thread thanks to the above-ground farms, and they don't have more silk cloth which we can't make yet.

They leave.

IMMEDIATELY AFTER THEY DO my clothier gets possessed. He wants cloth, but won't move. Guess which type of cloth I didn't get that I don't have......

Also don't have a shearable critter, so might have to dig through DFhack in order to try and spawn one in. I don't want to lose a clothier, he's the best one I have.

You'll have more luck just spawning in the cloth. I don't think spawning in animals is actually possible...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FortunaDraken on October 21, 2015, 06:08:23 pm
I have no idea either, but I wasn't about to mess with the spawnunit command, and the create-item didn't seem to have the ability to create wool cloth, so the poor dude went crazy. Ran around my fort and outside babbling like an idiot until he died of thirst. Took awhile, surprisingly enough.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PyroTechno on October 21, 2015, 06:52:02 pm
EDIT: Nevermind
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Whodunnit on October 21, 2015, 08:05:00 pm
Too late now, perhaps, but the "changeitem" command can change one type of cloth into another. It has saved the sanity of my inspired dorfs several times.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FortunaDraken on October 21, 2015, 10:40:40 pm
Huh, okay. I shall have to remember that!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SirAero8 on October 24, 2015, 08:46:44 pm
First time I tried to make a well I ended up flooding my entire fortress. It was over a year ago, but I remember I put a grate with a hole below it by the lower level of a pond, and I had a dwarf mine into the wall holding in the water. The result was the water came in, filled the hole, flooded the nearby bedrooms with several dwarves sleeping in them, and killed pretty much all my dwarves. After that I didn't have the will to keep going, so I abandoned the fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pieceoftheuniverse on October 26, 2015, 04:19:27 pm
Four facepalms in one story:

Dug down to the cavern layer, looking for water. Found the water - and also a small tribe of cave swallow men.

OK, no problem. It's still early, so I don't have much more than a token fighting force of two. But animal men tribes are armed with wooden spears, and my guys are in iron, so this is just easy fighting experience.

So, create an airlock system, place the squad, pop open the doors and ...

The squad goes right into the middle of the tribe, as ordered:

Urist: Hey.
Cave Swallow Man: 'Sup.
(Facepalm #1)

Nothing. They don't launch into a fighting frenzy. They don't even try to poke each other. They just stand around, making small talk.

But my civilians won't go near the area, I need to scout the water source to make sure there's enough for a well, and there's a ton of cave spider silk just ripe for the taking. The "Z" menu indicates that, yes, the cave swallow men are enemies of my civ, so I have no idea why they're friendly. (Facepalm #2)

By this time it's been in-game days, and my military is getting a little bored. A station order isn't going to cut it.

So I tell the squad to attack each cave swallow man, individually. And every time they successfully kill one, they decide "Job's done!" and revert back to civilian status (Facepalm #3). But there are still ten, nine, eight cave swallow men still alive, so I have to s -> a -> k -> every single one, which reactivates the squad for "one more kill."

After all the cave swallow men are dead, my squad leader gets depressed. I open up the details screen on this dwarf, and notice two things:

(Final facepalm, quit game, re-examine life)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PyroTechno on October 26, 2015, 04:51:29 pm
Quote from: pieceoftheuniverse on October 26, 2015, 04:19:27 pm
Four facepalms in one story:

Dug down to the cavern layer, looking for water. Found the water - and also a small tribe of cave swallow men.

OK, no problem. It's still early, so I don't have much more than a token fighting force of two. But animal men tribes are armed with wooden spears, and my guys are in iron, so this is just easy fighting experience.

So, create an airlock system, place the squad, pop open the doors and ...

The squad goes right into the middle of the tribe, as ordered:

Urist: Hey.
Cave Swallow Man: 'Sup.
(Facepalm #1)

Nothing. They don't launch into a fighting frenzy. They don't even try to poke each other. They just stand around, making small talk.

But my civilians won't go near the area, I need to scout the water source to make sure there's enough for a well, and there's a ton of cave spider silk just ripe for the taking. The "Z" menu indicates that, yes, the cave swallow men are enemies of my civ, so I have no idea why they're friendly. (Facepalm #2)

By this time it's been in-game days, and my military is getting a little bored. A station order isn't going to cut it.

So I tell the squad to attack each cave swallow man, individually. And every time they successfully kill one, they decide "Job's done!" and revert back to civilian status (Facepalm #3). But there are still ten, nine, eight cave swallow men still alive, so I have to s -> a -> k -> every single one, which reactivates the squad for "one more kill."

After all the cave swallow men are dead, my squad leader gets depressed. I open up the details screen on this dwarf, and notice two things:
  • He felt horrified at seeing a cave swallow man die (x10). (Expected)
  • Urist McSquadleader has complained about the draft lately. (Well, I wouldn't have to draft you ten times in a row if you would just engage the enemy!)
  • He doesn't like fighting, and regards those who spend time learning fighting skills to be wasting their time. (Um, whoops?)

(Final facepalm, quit game, re-examine life)

You noticed three things at the end, not two. Life is an endless progression of facepalms - the only "final" facepalm is the one that does brain damage and puts you in the hospital for the rest of your life.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Insert_Gnome_Here on October 27, 2015, 03:54:53 am
Quote from: pieceoftheuniverse on October 26, 2015, 04:19:27 pm

So I tell the squad to attack each cave swallow man, individually. And every time they successfully kill one, they decide "Job's done!" and revert back to civilian status (Facepalm #3). But there are still ten, nine, eight cave swallow men still alive, so I have to s -> a -> k -> every single one, which reactivates the squad for "one more kill."


s -> a -> k -> r Then drag rectangle over everything you want killed
or
s -> a -> k -> l Then hold shift & select everything from the list you want killed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Madventurer on October 27, 2015, 04:48:04 am
I was playing in a succession fort, reclaiming a lost fort, and didn't check whether the caverns were sealed properly.

Luckily, only troglodytes ensued... even though three ambushes spawned somewhere in the 2nd or 3rd cavern. Go figure.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Insert_Gnome_Here on October 27, 2015, 10:59:24 am
Well I just learned why long, uninterrupted staircases are a bad idea, especially ones that end in water.

A vomit pterosaur FB turned up in my fort, with blistering dust. My elite warriors attacked, but many were hurled down the central stairwell into the cavern and drowned.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Among the dead is a hammerlord who once got bored of waiting for a giant to reach it and decided to walk over and kill it in two hits. T add insult to injury, each elite military dwarf war wearing at least 10000 dorfbucks worth of steel armour.

Installation of floor hatches has begun in earnest.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bakaridjan on October 27, 2015, 02:28:56 pm
Just started a new fort and was digging around but not finding any weaponable metals, not even copper. There was some silver, which can do in a pinch for weapons but not armor. Finally I hit a magnetite cluster, on the same level as my forges even, and what do I do? Like a typical Urist Mcdumbass, I decided to dig up and see if it extended to any other Z-levels. Of course the next level up was a an aquifer that I had somehow missed when I was digging my fort in the same biome!

It took me awhile to realize my error though, and my dwarf had already automined out a big section of the cluster so all that magnetite was pretty much lost to the flood.

I did get it walled off and now I actually went back and dug it out from the top, but I lost like 5 dwarves doing that because it was the first time I'd tried digging out an aquifer in a freezing biome. I couldn't stop the little bastards from jumping in the channel they had just dug, before it froze over and killed them. I wouldn't have minded if they would have at least left their picks behind. In hindsight, I should have just left it for later and done more exploratory digging. There has to be some more magnetite around somewhere. It ended up being some pretty costly iron in the end.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MantisMan on October 28, 2015, 01:24:24 pm
My bookmark in this thread was on page 213. Yikes.

I had a fort where one of my military dwarves apparently went on a serial murder rampage and started killing my other dwarves, including the military dwarves. Checking their kill list, it seems they were responsible for several killings in the fort over the past few years. They weren't going berserk or anything, they were just murdering my dwarves. Part of it might have been a loyalty cascade from werecreatures, but I don't know if that explains everything, since she was slaughtering my crafters, too.

Anyway, I was under seige by about 32 zombies and 3 necromancers. All I knew about zombies in this version was that they were easier to kill than the older, practically invincible zombies, so I was planning on stripping her equipment and sending her to her doom, since I was losing dwarved at an alarming rate from her.

I had her hand in her equipment, and stationed her squad in my walled courtyard, prepared to let in 1-3 zombies (closing the drawbridge behind them) and hope that she dies from her wounds, at which point, I'd send the rest of my military in to mop up.

Basically, the zombies ended up being a lot more dangerous than I expected, and I ended up losing most of my military, including my emergency marksdwarf squad.

I did have hatchcovers leading to every part of my fort below the trade depot, but unfortunately, all my military equipment and barracks stuff was on that upper level, so I didn't have any real weapons or armour to fight off the zombies with.

Rather than continue with the fort in that situation, with zombies milling around in the upper area, I decided to abandon the fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: spazyak on October 28, 2015, 02:09:04 pm
forgot to save abotu 3 hours in, unplugged flash drive from computer, cried...A lot!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DolosusDoleus on October 28, 2015, 03:50:42 pm
I was trying to make an arena where I would get rid of some pesky demons and FB/titans by making them fight against each other.

I didn't build a wall where the arena connected to the surface.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on October 28, 2015, 04:24:09 pm
Quote from: DolosusDoleus on October 28, 2015, 03:50:42 pm
I was trying to make an arena where I would get rid of some pesky demons and FB/titans by making them fight against each other.

I didn't build a wall where the arena connected to the surface.
Oh god

How did it end?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DolosusDoleus on October 28, 2015, 06:22:42 pm
Quote from: TheFlame52 on October 28, 2015, 04:24:09 pm
Quote from: DolosusDoleus on October 28, 2015, 03:50:42 pm
I was trying to make an arena where I would get rid of some pesky demons and FB/titans by making them fight against each other.

I didn't build a wall where the arena connected to the surface.
Oh god

How did it end?

One of the FBs, a giant blob made of some stone that shot webs made it to the surface. All the dwarves decided that they would rather party than pull the lever that closed the front entrance.

Everyone got killed except for a child, a miner, and a woodcutter. All of them died of thirst.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PyroTechno on October 28, 2015, 08:40:36 pm
Quote from: DolosusDoleus on October 28, 2015, 06:22:42 pm
Quote from: TheFlame52 on October 28, 2015, 04:24:09 pm
Quote from: DolosusDoleus on October 28, 2015, 03:50:42 pm
I was trying to make an arena where I would get rid of some pesky demons and FB/titans by making them fight against each other.

I didn't build a wall where the arena connected to the surface.
Oh god

How did it end?

One of the FBs, a giant blob made of some stone that shot webs made it to the surface. All the dwarves decided that they would rather party than pull the lever that closed the front entrance.

Everyone got killed except for a child, a miner, and a woodcutter. All of them died of thirst.

In the future, you can use the "n" key to set the lever pulling job to a priority. That should help, at least a little bit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Myran on November 01, 2015, 05:38:58 am
There were two such moments in my first fortress. I was attacked by a horde of undead in the summer of the first year. I didn't even have a military yet. Anyway I had a moat with a drawbridge in front of the fortress, but I neglected to build a lever connected to the bridge. This resulted in all my dwarves being slaughtered, bar one.
I told the last dwarf to wall himself into the room with the Trade Depot. The entrance was three tiles wide and he walled up two before deciding he was a bit hungry. I forgot to disable his fishing labour so he ran outside and started hunting pond turtles. He was interrupted several times by his comrade's corpses before being struck down by some undead on his way back to the Trade Depot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FortunaDraken on November 04, 2015, 09:21:07 am
So I have the outpost liason locked up in the dining hall due to wanting to get the fort promoted to a baronny (I have everything required, but my game always glitches out and forces me to lock him up until the caravan leaves). Things are going well, my mayor is sitting in his room conducting a meeting of one...and then suddenly I get the "Diplomat has left unhappy" message. I go wait wat for a moment...

Mayor went into a Strange Mood -_-; NOT THE TIME MAYOR. NOT THE TIME. You better make an awesome warhammer or mace with that silver you have.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Edmus on November 04, 2015, 07:43:00 pm
You can generally predict an artefact based on the dwarf's preferences.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FortunaDraken on November 04, 2015, 08:36:13 pm
Yeah, sadly he doesn't have particular preferences in terms of 'things that can be made from metal' (he keeps mandating cabinets, as that's the only thing he likes, but he doesn't have high moodability for...blacksmithing? whichever one is the furniture one). He ended up making silver greaves -_-

So far I have silver greaves, a silver short sword, and two reindeer bone shields. USELESS.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheCoolSideofthePIllow on November 05, 2015, 01:29:29 am
Quote from: FortunaDraken on November 04, 2015, 08:36:13 pm
Yeah, sadly he doesn't have particular preferences in terms of 'things that can be made from metal' (he keeps mandating cabinets, as that's the only thing he likes, but he doesn't have high moodability for...blacksmithing? whichever one is the furniture one). He ended up making silver greaves -_-

So far I have silver greaves, a silver short sword, and two reindeer bone shields. USELESS.

Silver greaves are far from useless! Silver makes excellent armor; but can only be made through moods.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MantisMan on November 05, 2015, 02:02:54 am
Wouldn't Bone Shields be just as effective as any other shield? I mean, sure, you're not really getting an extra-effective super shield, but it isn't like it's worse than regular shields.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FortunaDraken on November 05, 2015, 03:21:46 am
Quote from: TheCoolSideofthePIllow on November 05, 2015, 01:29:29 am
Quote from: FortunaDraken on November 04, 2015, 08:36:13 pm
Yeah, sadly he doesn't have particular preferences in terms of 'things that can be made from metal' (he keeps mandating cabinets, as that's the only thing he likes, but he doesn't have high moodability for...blacksmithing? whichever one is the furniture one). He ended up making silver greaves -_-

So far I have silver greaves, a silver short sword, and two reindeer bone shields. USELESS.

Silver greaves are far from useless! Silver makes excellent armor; but can only be made through moods.
Hm, better or worse than steel though? Might be worth sticking it on my next melee squad since I have no iron on this map.

Quote from: MantisMan on November 05, 2015, 02:02:54 am
Wouldn't Bone Shields be just as effective as any other shield? I mean, sure, you're not really getting an extra-effective super shield, but it isn't like it's worse than regular shields.
Technically yeah, but they're heavier than wood shields, which automatically makes the wood ones better imo, since I don't care for shield bashing, just blocking.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PyroTechno on November 05, 2015, 11:23:23 am
Quote from: FortunaDraken on November 05, 2015, 03:21:46 am
Quote from: TheCoolSideofthePIllow on November 05, 2015, 01:29:29 am
Quote from: FortunaDraken on November 04, 2015, 08:36:13 pm
Yeah, sadly he doesn't have particular preferences in terms of 'things that can be made from metal' (he keeps mandating cabinets, as that's the only thing he likes, but he doesn't have high moodability for...blacksmithing? whichever one is the furniture one). He ended up making silver greaves -_-

So far I have silver greaves, a silver short sword, and two reindeer bone shields. USELESS.

Silver greaves are far from useless! Silver makes excellent armor; but can only be made through moods.
Hm, better or worse than steel though? Might be worth sticking it on my next melee squad since I have no iron on this map.

Quote from: MantisMan on November 05, 2015, 02:02:54 am
Wouldn't Bone Shields be just as effective as any other shield? I mean, sure, you're not really getting an extra-effective super shield, but it isn't like it's worse than regular shields.
Technically yeah, but they're heavier than wood shields, which automatically makes the wood ones better imo, since I don't care for shield bashing, just blocking.

According to the wiki, home of material analysis technology, silver is one of the worst things you can make armor out of. Instead, use it for high value trade goods and blunt weaponry (it's the second best material for blunt weapons, only being topped by mood-only platinum).

Also, have you heard of the leather shield?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: cochramd on November 05, 2015, 02:26:26 pm
What I never got about shields is that yeah, you want it to be light, but don't you want it to be made of metal for the same reason you want your armor to be made out of metal?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PyroTechno on November 05, 2015, 02:45:07 pm
Quote from: cochramd on November 05, 2015, 02:26:26 pm
What I never got about shields is that yeah, you want it to be light, but don't you want it to be made of metal for the same reason you want your armor to be made out of metal?

The amount of protection given by a shield isn't affected by the material it's made of. It does, however, affect the shield bash attack, which is a blunt attack. If you want metal shields, use copper, silver, etc, the metals used for blunt weapons. Be aware that this makes them heavier - which is why they're better for blunt attacks. It doesn't seem to come up very often - dwarves appear to prefer using their primary weapon - but if their primary gets stuck, they will fall back on other options.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: cochramd on November 05, 2015, 02:59:12 pm
I have used steel shields previously, since they're the lightest non-adamantine metal and still good blunt weapons. Of course, with the tweaks I've made to the dwarven body and soul (skills and stats train really fast and never decay, stat caps are much higher), I wonder if there's even an advantage in using leather shields myself.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FortunaDraken on November 05, 2015, 06:20:15 pm
Quote from: PyroTechno on November 05, 2015, 11:23:23 am
Quote from: FortunaDraken on November 05, 2015, 03:21:46 am
Quote from: TheCoolSideofthePIllow on November 05, 2015, 01:29:29 am
Quote from: FortunaDraken on November 04, 2015, 08:36:13 pm
Yeah, sadly he doesn't have particular preferences in terms of 'things that can be made from metal' (he keeps mandating cabinets, as that's the only thing he likes, but he doesn't have high moodability for...blacksmithing? whichever one is the furniture one). He ended up making silver greaves -_-

So far I have silver greaves, a silver short sword, and two reindeer bone shields. USELESS.

Silver greaves are far from useless! Silver makes excellent armor; but can only be made through moods.
Hm, better or worse than steel though? Might be worth sticking it on my next melee squad since I have no iron on this map.

Quote from: MantisMan on November 05, 2015, 02:02:54 am
Wouldn't Bone Shields be just as effective as any other shield? I mean, sure, you're not really getting an extra-effective super shield, but it isn't like it's worse than regular shields.
Technically yeah, but they're heavier than wood shields, which automatically makes the wood ones better imo, since I don't care for shield bashing, just blocking.

According to the wiki, home of material analysis technology, silver is one of the worst things you can make armor out of. Instead, use it for high value trade goods and blunt weaponry (it's the second best material for blunt weapons, only being topped by mood-only platinum).

Also, have you heard of the leather shield?
Yeah, I thought as such. So very much useless.

And I have! But I usually hoard leather because of the need to make all the leather armour/backpacks/quivers/flasks/whatever for the eventual civilian militia.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on November 05, 2015, 06:55:52 pm
Quote from: FortunaDraken on November 05, 2015, 06:20:15 pm
And I have! But I usually hoard leather because of the need to make all the leather armour/backpacks/quivers/flasks/whatever for the eventual civilian militia.
I do too. Now I have 1000+ leather. All of it made in the fort. Training a dwarf from dabbling leatherworker to Legendary +5 barely put a dent in it. Kill me now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on November 05, 2015, 08:22:01 pm
Sell the raw leather. You won't get much for it (except through sheer volume), but it'll be gone.

Quote from: FortunaDraken on November 05, 2015, 03:21:46 am
Quote from: MantisMan on November 05, 2015, 02:02:54 am
Wouldn't Bone Shields be just as effective as any other shield? I mean, sure, you're not really getting an extra-effective super shield, but it isn't like it's worse than regular shields.
Technically yeah, but they're heavier than wood shields, which automatically makes the wood ones better imo, since I don't care for shield bashing, just blocking.
Bone is density 500. There are nine wood types of less dense than that, thirteen more dense, and a whole bunch of types at density 600. Highwood and tunnel tube are density 500.

If you have a wooden shield, odds are that it'll be heavier than a bone shield.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spehss _ on November 05, 2015, 11:48:40 pm
Quote from: TheFlame52 on November 05, 2015, 06:55:52 pm
I do too. Now I have 1000+ leather. All of it made in the fort. Training a dwarf from dabbling leatherworker to Legendary +5 barely put a dent in it. Kill me now.
Well at least you won't have to worry about clothing shortages anytime soon. Probably.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chimerat on November 06, 2015, 08:09:17 pm
I decided to try a larger area to see if my PC could handle it (10x10).
I selected a temperate climate.
The game started my Dwarved and their animals on the edge of a sheet of ice with a 7/7 ocean between them and land.

 >:(

The ice melted before they could dig a tunnel across.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on November 06, 2015, 08:25:51 pm
Try again with temperature off?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chimerat on November 07, 2015, 06:07:56 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on November 06, 2015, 08:25:51 pm
Try again with temperature off?
But that's cheating.

I tried a smaller area and managed to be set just above the high-water mark, on dry land. I'll take it. XD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PyroTechno on November 07, 2015, 10:13:50 am
Quote from: Chimerat on November 07, 2015, 06:07:56 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on November 06, 2015, 08:25:51 pm
Try again with temperature off?
But that's cheating.

I tried a smaller area and managed to be set just above the high-water mark, on dry land. I'll take it. XD

This brings back fond memories of the time that I embarked on a beach and lost most of the starting seven to waves while desperately trying to save the embark supplies.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chimerat on November 07, 2015, 07:39:29 pm
Quote from: PyroTechno on November 07, 2015, 10:13:50 am
Quote from: Chimerat on November 07, 2015, 06:07:56 am
Quote from: Sutremaine on November 06, 2015, 08:25:51 pm
Try again with temperature off?
But that's cheating.

I tried a smaller area and managed to be set just above the high-water mark, on dry land. I'll take it. XD

This brings back fond memories of the time that I embarked on a beach and lost most of the starting seven to waves while desperately trying to save the embark supplies.
Unfortunately I finally gave up my 10x10 embark due to lag. I believe my current attempt is a 5x5, which is having less issues, thankfully. (I wanted to test my PC.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: InsanityPrelude on November 08, 2015, 06:03:47 pm
I was trying to fill a magma cistern from the side of a volcano- always tricky since the pipe is the same width the whole way through. I thought magma was still slow enough for my miner to knock a hole in the side and run. I was wrong.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Paaaad on November 10, 2015, 09:20:14 pm
Six dwarven births over a period of just five in-game days. I wasn't even unpaused for a second between two of them. What happened!?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on November 10, 2015, 10:30:38 pm
Quote from: Paaaad on November 10, 2015, 09:20:14 pm
Six dwarven births over a period of just five in-game days. I wasn't even unpaused for a second between two of them. What happened!?

You see, when a mommy dwarf and a daddy dwarf love each other very much...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on November 10, 2015, 11:00:11 pm
Quote from: InsanityPrelude on November 08, 2015, 06:03:47 pm
I was trying to fill a magma cistern from the side of a volcano- always tricky since the pipe is the same width the whole way through. I thought magma was still slow enough for my miner to knock a hole in the side and run. I was wrong.
It is slow enough, provided they actually decide to run.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pseudo on November 11, 2015, 08:47:24 am
Not so much my facepalm as dwarven stupidity.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

My first caravan popped in... inside of a cloud of deadly dust.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on November 11, 2015, 01:36:15 pm
Quote from: Bumber on November 10, 2015, 11:00:11 pm
Quote from: InsanityPrelude on November 08, 2015, 06:03:47 pm
I was trying to fill a magma cistern from the side of a volcano- always tricky since the pipe is the same width the whole way through. I thought magma was still slow enough for my miner to knock a hole in the side and run. I was wrong.
It is slow enough, provided they actually decide to run.
It also depends on how fast your dwarf is. The slowest dwarf I've ever seen had a base speed of 3xx.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: blapnk on November 13, 2015, 05:12:54 am
I wanted to quickly clear a room of stone boulders so I designated a mass dump a short distance away. I forgot two things. a) my garbage dump zone was next to a downwards ramp and b) dumps next to a cliff will have the dwarves toss the garbage over the edge. Sure enough, one of my starting seven dwarves was soon found stoned to death under a pile of boulders.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on November 13, 2015, 08:40:48 am
Quote from: blapnk on November 13, 2015, 05:12:54 am
I wanted to quickly clear a room of stone boulders so I designated a mass dump a short distance away. I forgot two things. a) my garbage dump zone was next to a downwards ramp and b) dumps next to a cliff will have the dwarves toss the garbage over the edge. Sure enough, one of my starting seven dwarves was soon found stoned to death under a pile of boulders.
Sisyphus cancels haul boulder up hill, crushed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torrenal on November 15, 2015, 03:38:58 pm
Facepalm 1:
   Sending the military to equip before forbidding things on the surface, like from those dead gobbos  at the edge of the map

Faceplam 2:
  Watching as my militia commander politely asks the necromances to step asside so that he can loot the corpses.


No harm, no foul, but... yeesh.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on November 17, 2015, 07:46:24 am
Just discovered that the zone menu allows one to create and modify overlapping zones and use the [ v ] key to cycle through them!
... after more than 6 years of DF. Might have been added "recently" (either in vanilla or by dfhack), but even recently is one year ago. :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PyroTechno on November 17, 2015, 12:56:22 pm
Quote from: gunpowdertea on November 17, 2015, 07:46:24 am
Just discovered that the zone menu allows one to create and modify overlapping zones and use the [ v ] key to cycle through them!
... after more than 6 years of DF. Might have been added "recently" (either in vanilla or by dfhack), but even recently is one year ago. :-[

You can also assign a zone to do more than one thing - you could tell it to be both a Pen/Pasture and a Meeting Area, for example.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on November 17, 2015, 06:17:01 pm
Quote from: PyroTechno on November 17, 2015, 12:56:22 pm
Quote from: gunpowdertea on November 17, 2015, 07:46:24 am
Just discovered that the zone menu allows one to create and modify overlapping zones and use the [ v ] key to cycle through them!
... after more than 6 years of DF. Might have been added "recently" (either in vanilla or by dfhack), but even recently is one year ago. :-[

You can also assign a zone to do more than one thing - you could tell it to be both a Pen/Pasture and a Meeting Area, for example.
...

...

-facepalm-

...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on November 17, 2015, 06:35:16 pm
I recently realized you can make non-square zones. Zones are fickle things.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DolosusDoleus on November 17, 2015, 07:32:14 pm
I just learned that macros exist. After playing this game for three years, I probably now have carpal tunnel syndrome from designating hundreds of bedrooms by hand.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: spazyak on November 17, 2015, 08:36:56 pm
I accidentally did it again-I linked three stock piles together and each giving to the same mason's workshop.. I tried to get a stone chair made but  the stone chosen kept getting moved so the project got canceled again and again.;
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on November 18, 2015, 04:09:21 am
Quote from: PyroTechno on November 17, 2015, 12:56:22 pm
Quote from: gunpowdertea on November 17, 2015, 07:46:24 am
Just discovered that the zone menu allows one to create and modify overlapping zones and use the [ v ] key to cycle through them!
... after more than 6 years of DF. Might have been added "recently" (either in vanilla or by dfhack), but even recently is one year ago. :-[

You can also assign a zone to do more than one thing - you could tell it to be both a Pen/Pasture and a Meeting Area, for example.

That I knew, but sometimes you want the fishing at that end, the dumping at this, and then a pasture in between (three partly overlapping rectangles). Or maybe keeping all dogs at one end but letting the cows roam more freely. There were numerous times when I had that, and when changing the lowermost I usually deleted everything and drew them anew...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FortunaDraken on November 18, 2015, 05:07:34 am
My new fort is not doing anything, why is progress so slow...what am I doing wrong ;;

......oh. Both my miners and my only carpenter are all on break at the same time. That'd do it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Amperzand on November 18, 2015, 06:22:27 am
Quote from: DolosusDoleus on November 17, 2015, 07:32:14 pm
I just learned that macros exist. After playing this game for three years, I probably now have carpal tunnel syndrome from designating hundreds of bedrooms by hand.

Funnily enough, I found the macros my first hour playing the game, but they don't work on my computer for some reason.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LordPorkins on November 20, 2015, 03:09:02 pm
I once accidentally set my mug production to infinite. Didnt realize until 2 hours gameplay later. However, i stored them in mimecarts for shotguns, so overall i benefitted. But my face when i realized i had 250 mugs to deal with.... Yah.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on November 20, 2015, 04:33:02 pm
Quote from: LordPorkins on November 20, 2015, 03:09:02 pm
I once accidentally set my barrel production to infinite. Didnt realize until 2 hours gameplay later. However, i stored them in mimecarts for shotguns, so overall i benefitted. But my face when i realized i had 250 mugs to deal with.... Yah.

"hey human, do you need a couple hundred stone mugs?"

"Uh, there's only three of us."

"Sure you do!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LordPorkins on November 21, 2015, 12:04:25 pm
Except i didnt sell the mugs to them, i forcibly chucked them at them using the power of !PHYSICS!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torrenal on November 21, 2015, 01:59:03 pm
I want my military to be able to swim.
I don't have any rivers, but I've seen the caverns.  The caverns have water in them.  And a forgotten bug.  And I want my dwarves to not chase the thing into a lake and drown.

So I went to my barracks (one level above the aquifer), dug out some channels in it.  Nope, aquifer wasn't there.  OK, I dig a tunnel over to where the water is.  A wide tunnel.  I dig out completely under my barracks so that there's sufficent water under them, then set up a pump above to just 'flood' the barracks with water, which will find its way back down through the several channeled squares.  Dwarves will doge into or wash into the channels and climb the ramps back out.  Yay.

I have them build the pump, install doors to limit flooding, and I tell the dwarves to start the pump, watch it for a minute, then pop down to the magma level to keep close tabs on my miners as they search for any useful metals  (Nickle, but not exactly useful).

A while later I see 'so-n-so has become a dwarven child.'  Yay, my first native generation is starting to grow up.
Imedately after I see 'So'n'so cancels Seek infant: Infant inaccessible.'  Oookay so kid grows up and seek infant tasks for them fail?  Never saw that but... interesting.

Dwarf therapist shows several dwarves now are dabbling swimmers - yay, training works.

Not finding what I want in mining >:(, but I am starting start to get a feel for what the warm rock layout is, so I might be able to find my way to making magma forges soon.

'So'n'so cancels Seek infant: Infant inaccessible.'  Eh?  That wasn't a simple kid grew up thing?
I pop up the 60 layers to my training room and see a mix of water and mist.  I take a look at the room underneath.  Lots of mist, but I see four dwarven faces...  Three of them infants.  One clear over by my kitchen well.  Turns out, most of my swimming pool has a rock roof.  *facepalm*.

None drowning, the ones I inspect are happy for having seen mist in the past week, no sign of bodies or discarded gear, so this might still work as 'assertive swimming training', but I'm not going trust it.


//Torrenal

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LordPorkins on November 21, 2015, 02:37:37 pm
Torrenal this is what you get for breaking the 1 and only rule of Dwarven Survival: Never do anything with water. Magma is acceptable. Water is just a no-no.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pseudo on November 21, 2015, 04:06:18 pm
And yet dwarves love waterfalls.

(Especially tumbling down them! I'm looking at you, former CMD, now dead due to botched hospital care. Ah, irony.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LordPorkins on November 21, 2015, 04:31:51 pm
H2O=Death
Its science really
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torrenal on November 21, 2015, 10:21:32 pm
Only death through the whole ordeal is an infant who died of thirst, not in the pool, and only after I got the underground pool drained.

I've now got a couple adequate swimmers in my fort, and fraction of my military now dabbles in the sport.  Going to have to do a little research before I reopen the pool.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Amperzand on November 22, 2015, 02:34:54 am
Quote from: LordPorkins on November 21, 2015, 04:31:51 pm
H2O=Death
Its science really

H + O2 + heat = FOOM == death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pseudo on November 22, 2015, 12:21:58 pm
Alternatively, FOOF == death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torrenal on November 23, 2015, 10:52:39 pm
Having my first real taste of the 'new' 2014 combat pathing.  Hasn't been an issue previously.  Now, the goblins climbed my outer wall (avoiding twenty-odd traps), and for even more fun, I'm watching my melee dwarves cling to the outside of my battlements.  They went up to the roof and are climbing down the side in an effort to more quickly engage the invaders in combat.

Next time I'm locking that hatch.

Edit: One of them was my Chief Medical Dwarf.  I need to watch that my nobles don't wind up getting drafted, I've gotta find a new CMD to patch him up.

//Torrenal
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: spazyak on November 24, 2015, 07:09:45 am
found adamantine, but my best dwarf and military worker decided it would be best to mine on block that I had canceled to be dug when I discovered magma, he ended up flooding a good chunk of the fort and killing 3/4 of my miners.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nyxalinth on November 25, 2015, 09:01:58 am
Oh my god. I have played dwarf fortress since 2009. This morning I started a fort, only to realize that I had no mining picks. No building materials. No axes. This could have been salvaged, because a quirk in the game means that wooden training axes can be used to chop down trees, but I had no wood. So I abandoned the embark...

...only to realize five minutes later that i could have scuttled the damn wagon to get wood, make an axe, cut down some trees, burn the wood to make charcoal, built the smelter, and forge picks.

My boyfriend had lost his dorfs in the first five minutes due to not designating safe paths for them to walk, and they fell in the river and drowned. We give him loads of shit about this. Now he can tease me instead.   :P

"Can I 'axe' you something? Hahaha!'
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pseudo on November 25, 2015, 11:21:09 am
You can actually survive even without that.

Either via trading, or, if you don't have enough to even do that, via collecting clay or sand or melting stuff to make blocks to build the depot (although these require magma that's accessible), or if you don't have enough to even do that, via killing traders (as they'll probably have enough logs / bars / blocks to start bootstrapping).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FortunaDraken on November 26, 2015, 11:44:16 pm
Dwarven caravan arrives! Hooray! There's five caravans and a ton of single merchants, damn. Time to put all this stuff to use!

...then they all pack up and leave because I slaughtered a giant toad. A TAME giant toad. They freaked out about a TAME GIANT TOAD.

Never have I been so pissed off at these idiots than now. Calling bullshit and force-quitting. I want my stuff damnit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KillzEmAllGod on December 01, 2015, 05:39:51 am
I remember learning why to forbid items on death. I broke into HFS only for my dwarfs to drop their gear trying to get better ones from the ones that died.
Then there was the time fighting undead, my dwarfs died because they got tired from fighting.
Once I embark in a great location though the world had an evil ocean around it and the rain from it killed my dwarfs on the non-mountain side when it started raining.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FantasticDorf on December 01, 2015, 10:26:36 am
I once built a crude evil frozen tundra fortress just under the surface layer of a beach at the 'south pole' of my world, it actually was my proudest embark until probably at least two years in, knowing little about the consequence, i built a room for my kitchen, and when wintertime came the weight of the snow above coupled with the snow that was already on the ground collapsed the ceiling of the area, destroying the workspaces and wiping out my adjacent food stores (i managed to hastily fix it after, but all my dwarves began starving and there was little chance of waiting out and buying out enough food to support them all from the next caravan so i abandoned it)

Lesson learnt.  ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you ha
Post by: LordPorkins on December 01, 2015, 10:46:00 am
I once spent 1/2 an hour furiously trying to get my dorfs to smooth their glorious dining hall, then i realized it was built out of dirt. :-/
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kaelem Gaen on December 02, 2015, 01:55:27 am
I just had one now.   Building a Tavern and decided to clear out an open space for the main meeting hall give it a sort of Balcony, so I started removing floors forgot to do it a row at a time,  had a collapse and killed my Tavern Keeper...


RIP Zefon Gigintobul
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wheeljack on December 02, 2015, 11:15:05 am
In the excitement of the new release yesterday, I rushed through everything to get to my embark. Did I forget anything? Surprisingly no. No, ten minutes after designating a twenty tall staircase straight into the earth, I stopped to wonder why the miners had only dug out the first two levels.

Five minutes of head scratching later I realized it was all downward stairs. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lossmar on December 03, 2015, 02:16:10 pm
>made my own custom embark profile
>pretty minimalistic
>start up fort, everything goes smoothly
>dug up some nice rooms, even my OCD is satisfied with this
>ok, time to setup some more advanced industry
>try to build metalsmith workshop
>THAT FUCKING FEELING WHEN I FORGOT TO ADD ANVIL TO EMBARK

Motherfucker ..... T____T

Is there a way to add one small anvil to my save ? Sweet jesus i dont want to start over AGAIN, its like my 10th fort in the last 72 hours..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you ha
Post by: LordPorkins on December 03, 2015, 02:39:38 pm
I didnt bother setting anything up on embark. I have dug 20 levels down. No metal, whatsoever. I brought 2 picks, and managed too buy 2 in exchange for twenty dozen stone crafts. Now i gotta deal woth a where-lizard outbreak.....


UUUUUUGGGGHHHH
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chimerat on December 03, 2015, 05:02:04 pm
Quote from: Lossmar on December 03, 2015, 02:16:10 pm
Is there a way to add one small anvil to my save ? Sweet jesus i dont want to start over AGAIN, its like my 10th fort in the last 72 hours..
I tend to never bring one and just snag it from the first Caravan. Is there a pressing need for one this second?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lossmar on December 04, 2015, 10:44:02 am
Quote from: Chimerat on December 03, 2015, 05:02:04 pm
Quote from: Lossmar on December 03, 2015, 02:16:10 pm
Is there a way to add one small anvil to my save ? Sweet jesus i dont want to start over AGAIN, its like my 10th fort in the last 72 hours..
I tend to never bring one and just snag it from the first Caravan. Is there a pressing need for one this second?

I actually discovered that AFTER first caravan left. Not that i would have anything to trade.
Currently im pumping out gold bars as fast as i can ( discovered some pretty rich veins ) and waiting for new caravan ( which is strangely overdue ) but im kinda paranoid that some monster is going to barge in and ruin my little fort.
I have 5 guys in my military but they all have wooden weapons aside from one copper axe and civilian clothing ;(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: cochramd on December 04, 2015, 11:30:39 am
Quote from: Lossmar on December 04, 2015, 10:44:02 am
Quote from: Chimerat on December 03, 2015, 05:02:04 pm
Quote from: Lossmar on December 03, 2015, 02:16:10 pm
Is there a way to add one small anvil to my save ? Sweet jesus i dont want to start over AGAIN, its like my 10th fort in the last 72 hours..
I tend to never bring one and just snag it from the first Caravan. Is there a pressing need for one this second?

I actually discovered that AFTER first caravan left. Not that i would have anything to trade.
Currently im pumping out gold bars as fast as i can ( discovered some pretty rich veins ) and waiting for new caravan ( which is strangely overdue ) but im kinda paranoid that some monster is going to barge in and ruin my little fort.
I have 5 guys in my military but they all have wooden weapons aside from one copper axe and civilian clothing ;(
Just make a tavern and hire whatever mercenaries show up. Save your gold bars for when you actually have an anvil.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lossmar on December 04, 2015, 03:15:38 pm
Quote from: cochramd on December 04, 2015, 11:30:39 am
Quote from: Lossmar on December 04, 2015, 10:44:02 am
Quote from: Chimerat on December 03, 2015, 05:02:04 pm
Quote from: Lossmar on December 03, 2015, 02:16:10 pm
Is there a way to add one small anvil to my save ? Sweet jesus i dont want to start over AGAIN, its like my 10th fort in the last 72 hours..
I tend to never bring one and just snag it from the first Caravan. Is there a pressing need for one this second?

I actually discovered that AFTER first caravan left. Not that i would have anything to trade.
Currently im pumping out gold bars as fast as i can ( discovered some pretty rich veins ) and waiting for new caravan ( which is strangely overdue ) but im kinda paranoid that some monster is going to barge in and ruin my little fort.
I have 5 guys in my military but they all have wooden weapons aside from one copper axe and civilian clothing ;(
Just make a tavern and hire whatever mercenaries show up. Save your gold bars for when you actually have an anvil.

Not that it matters anymore since caravan arrived and i had so much gold that i grabbed 10 anvils at once.

I can make a tavern and hire mercs in DF ?? How ?
... Or is it some kind of joke i dont get ..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spehss _ on December 04, 2015, 04:05:05 pm
Quote from: Lossmar on December 04, 2015, 03:15:38 pm
I can make a tavern and hire mercs in DF ?? How ?
... Or is it some kind of joke i dont get ..
New DF version released December 1. There's stuff like taverns or temples you can build in your fortress, and you regularly get non-dwarf visitors, including human warriors who could decide to stay at your fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LordPorkins on December 04, 2015, 09:34:16 pm
Quote from: Spehss _ on December 04, 2015, 04:05:05 pm
Quote from: Lossmar on December 04, 2015, 03:15:38 pm
I can make a tavern and hire mercs in DF ?? How ?
... Or is it some kind of joke i dont get ..
New DF version released December 1. There's stuff like taverns or temples you can build in your fortress, and you regularly get non-dwarf visitors, including human warriors who could decide to stay at your fort.
WHAT IS THIS SORCERY

*immediately runs to laptop*



...



...


Mother of Armok

*puts on shades*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dozebm Lolumzals on December 04, 2015, 10:00:38 pm
How did you not see this?!  8) It's the most real dwarves have ever been! Also save-compatible, because why the hell not, it needs more awesome sauce on the incredible ☼dwarven cheese roast☼.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Romeofalling on December 04, 2015, 11:41:29 pm
Quote from: jwoodward48df on December 04, 2015, 10:00:38 pm
How did you not see this?!  8) It's the most real dwarves have ever been! Also save-compatible, because why the hell not, it needs more awesome sauce on the incredible ☼dwarven cheese roast☼.

Wait....it's save compatible with 0.40.24? I don't need to generate a new world? I hate having to generate a new world every update. It feels like abandoning the last world just when it was starting to get special.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ysyua on December 05, 2015, 12:56:25 am
Quote from: Romeofalling on December 04, 2015, 11:41:29 pm
Quote from: jwoodward48df on December 04, 2015, 10:00:38 pm
How did you not see this?!  8) It's the most real dwarves have ever been! Also save-compatible, because why the hell not, it needs more awesome sauce on the incredible ☼dwarven cheese roast☼.

Wait....it's save compatible with 0.40.24? I don't need to generate a new world? I hate having to generate a new world every update. It feels like abandoning the last world just when it was starting to get special.

You lose out on some stuff. No poetry, instruments, etc. They're genned at world gen. Probably lots of other things. But yeah, your game shouldn't explode if the reports are true.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lossmar on December 05, 2015, 06:07:03 am
Quote from: Spehss _ on December 04, 2015, 04:05:05 pm
Quote from: Lossmar on December 04, 2015, 03:15:38 pm
I can make a tavern and hire mercs in DF ?? How ?
... Or is it some kind of joke i dont get ..
New DF version released December 1. There's stuff like taverns or temples you can build in your fortress, and you regularly get non-dwarf visitors, including human warriors who could decide to stay at your fort.

Im a noob so i will wait for the LNP to update ;) But its nice to know that thx.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Chimerat on December 05, 2015, 02:30:03 pm
Quote from: Lossmar on December 05, 2015, 06:07:03 am
Im a noob so i will wait for the LNP to update ;) But its nice to know that thx.
Similarly, I'm waiting for Dwarf Therapist. I did start a game on my own, but Immegrants arrives and I don't want the headache of sorting Skills with the native UI... :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Speakafreak22 on December 05, 2015, 03:47:46 pm
Quote from: Lossmar on December 05, 2015, 06:07:03 am
Quote from: Spehss _ on December 04, 2015, 04:05:05 pm
Quote from: Lossmar on December 04, 2015, 03:15:38 pm
I can make a tavern and hire mercs in DF ?? How ?
... Or is it some kind of joke i dont get ..
New DF version released December 1. There's stuff like taverns or temples you can build in your fortress, and you regularly get non-dwarf visitors, including human warriors who could decide to stay at your fort.

Im a noob so i will wait for the LNP to update ;) But its nice to know that thx.

LNP was released, just no dwarf therapist or DFhack quite yet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on December 05, 2015, 04:59:13 pm
Quote from: Lossmar on December 04, 2015, 03:15:38 pm
Not that it matters anymore since caravan arrived and i had so much gold that i grabbed 10 anvils at once.
For future reference, you can alter an existing reaction to spit out an anvil. Go to the raws, pick out a reaction you can do easily, and add the following beneath the existing [PRODUCT: ...] line.

[PRODUCT:100:1:ANVIL:NONE:INORGANIC:IRON]

Save, exit, reload your fortress. The next time you do the reaction, until you edit the raws and reload, both the intended product and an iron anvil will appear.

If your desired item is one available on embark, you can find its item type and material type by making an embark profile with it, saving it, and examining the text file created in data/init. If it isn't available on embark, you can find item and material token info on the wiki.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torrenal on December 06, 2015, 01:40:56 am
Visiting my housing area after using d-h to designate it for digging, instead of d-d   :o

Lots of strange ramps extending between two floors of the stuff.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skribbblie on December 06, 2015, 05:59:28 am
I shut the gate on my depot instead of resetting my secondary zombie-squishing drawbridge. A couple minutes before a human caravan arrived.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LordPorkins on December 06, 2015, 10:24:50 am
Quote from: Speakafreak22 on December 05, 2015, 03:47:46 pm
Quote from: Lossmar on December 05, 2015, 06:07:03 am
Quote from: Spehss _ on December 04, 2015, 04:05:05 pm
Quote from: Lossmar on December 04, 2015, 03:15:38 pm
I can make a tavern and hire mercs in DF ?? How ?
... Or is it some kind of joke i dont get ..
New DF version released December 1. There's stuff like taverns or temples you can build in your fortress, and you regularly get non-dwarf visitors, including human warriors who could decide to stay at your fort.
Actually, I'm running a game on DFhack, and i appear to have access to temples. However, i aint doing anything because i don't want to incur the wrath of some angry god
Im a noob so i will wait for the LNP to update ;) But its nice to know that thx.

LNP was released, just no dwarf therapist or DFhack quite yet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tygroux on December 06, 2015, 05:49:20 pm
Starting fort fort, first winter.
Quote
"Besmar Oddomizeg, Mason, has entered a fey mood!"
Hey, First fey mood. This is nice.
Quote
"Besmar Oddomizeg, Mason, has made a microcline table
I would have prefered a door, but still, that's excel-
Quote
The WereElk Ducim Salmulsarvesh Nr Kun as come! Now you will know why you should always forbid the important dwarves to haul wood!

One. Single. Casualty.
Oh armok, why are tho to hurt me like dat?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LlamaLlord on December 07, 2015, 03:43:58 pm
When I read all these two incidents came to mind, the first one was when I built my first bridge, when the dwarf pulled the lever for the first test run my expedition leader decided he would go out to haul wood. Well he was flung into the air and he landed in the moat and got totally utterly butt-mangled, he was still alive though. I didn't see this act of stupidity so the dwarf was down there for long enough to dye of starvation.

The second incident was when I installed an irrigation system. The lever was pulled and the water flooded in from the nearby river. I hadn't put doors on all the rooms yet so the water flooded, by the time the dwarves decided to pull the lever again it was to late the meeting area with all the levers was flooded enough so not one dwarf could get to the lever. It flooded about half my fortress until it met up with some forbidden doors, well at least I thought they were all forbidden. The idiotic soap-maker opened the door to do something and it flooded in and drowned most of the dwarves. Dwarven plumming is not the most efficient.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Trappington on December 07, 2015, 05:45:45 pm
Speaking of fun with water...

I have an underground cistern connected to the river via a channel with a drawbridge so as to seal off the fort when I'm not filling the cistern.  I decided that the water level was getting a little low, so I opened the drawbridge to refill.  I promptly forgot about it and only noticed my mistake when I got notifications of job cancellations because the water had started to flow out of the well above the cistern, flooding the hospital.  I fortunately got the bridge closed before anyone drowned, but I still had quite a scare for a few moments.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kumquat on December 07, 2015, 06:12:12 pm
Second world gen with 42.xx, embark in a savanna/desert area. Aquifer, so what, where's wood there are screwpumps.

It is 8 layers of aquifer, peat first, sandstone second. That's a new record in my book.

Dig to the first safe layer under the aquifer.

"You have discovered an expansive cavern deep underground." *facepalm*

Looking at the cavern - goblincaps and tunnel tubes? This is the second cavern layer.

Oh what fun this is going to be. At least there's a magma pool. Not sure if there is any metal to be found though or if it is all waterlogged.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Potato9999 on December 07, 2015, 09:17:45 pm
I built a N-S facing waterwheel in an E-W flowing river, and then sat there for ten minutes trying to figure out why it wasn't working.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pseudo on December 08, 2015, 10:27:43 am
Quote from: Potato9999 on December 07, 2015, 09:17:45 pm
I built a N-S facing waterwheel in an E-W flowing river, and then sat there for ten minutes trying to figure out why it wasn't working.
Wait: that makes a difference?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Romeofalling on December 08, 2015, 12:04:11 pm
Quote from: Pseudo on December 08, 2015, 10:27:43 am
Quote from: Potato9999 on December 07, 2015, 09:17:45 pm
I built a N-S facing waterwheel in an E-W flowing river, and then sat there for ten minutes trying to figure out why it wasn't working.
Wait: that makes a difference?

It's a water WHEEL. The water has to turn it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pseudo on December 08, 2015, 05:56:46 pm
I understand that in real life.

However I thought flow in Dwarf Fortress was binary (i.e. yes this water is flowing / no this water is not.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Romeofalling on December 08, 2015, 06:09:47 pm
Dwarf Fortress : It's deeper than you think.

When there are parts of a river or brook that curve, in those spots, water is usually flowing simultaneously NS and EW, I think. But it's been a while since I've put a water wheel in anything but a perpetual motion machine.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skribbblie on December 09, 2015, 04:10:33 am
Left door open in an evil, reanimating biome for some migrants to get inside. Miner ran up to surface. Got dizzy from cave adaptation. Stumbled slowly towards the wagon from the corner of the map. Started loitering in an inactive meeting zone with a visiting wrestler. STARTED TELLING A STORY.

I wanted to kill him so badly and drag him back inside.

And then the power went out.

Problem solved.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: thriggle on December 09, 2015, 09:19:18 am
Quote from: Skribbblie on December 09, 2015, 04:10:33 am
Stumbled slowly towards the wagon from the corner of the map. Started loitering in an inactive meeting zone with a visiting wrestler. STARTED TELLING A STORY.
I noticed that dwarves hang out in meeting zones regardless of whether they're set to active. Even switching a zone's "meeting hall" designation off didn't kick out the loiterers. I should check and see if there's a bug report for that already.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dirst on December 09, 2015, 09:44:34 am
Quote from: thriggle on December 09, 2015, 09:19:18 am
Quote from: Skribbblie on December 09, 2015, 04:10:33 am
Stumbled slowly towards the wagon from the corner of the map. Started loitering in an inactive meeting zone with a visiting wrestler. STARTED TELLING A STORY.
I noticed that dwarves hang out in meeting zones regardless of whether they're set to active. Even switching a zone's "meeting hall" designation off didn't kick out the loiterers. I should check and see if there's a bug report for that already.
Maybe those particular dwarves are just very traditional?

"We have always met here."
"Not always.  This was the gathering place for about a week while the dining hall was being dug."
"An important time in our fort's history!"
"But now it's a cistern."
"I... like water."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nullsrc on December 09, 2015, 11:40:22 am
Had a facepalm moment when I realized that the dwarves were not harvesting plants due to the fact that I had removed any stockpile that accepted those things.

Also, forgot to memorialize a farmer who fell into the volcano, so he came back as a ghost. All he did was hang out at the seed stockpile though, so I got away with negligence (not quite murder, but I'll take it.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendl Kahn on December 09, 2015, 05:58:53 pm
Reading all of this is a good tutorial for someone who is about to play his first game since 2007. Lots of avoidable things I probably wouldve walked into :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nullsrc on December 09, 2015, 06:08:41 pm
Quote from: Grendl Kahn on December 09, 2015, 05:58:53 pm
Reading all of this is a good tutorial for someone who is about to play his first game since 2007. Lots of avoidable things I probably wouldve walked into :D
Bah! Fail harder, like real dwarves do! Read all about the awful things you can avoid and then do them anyway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Grendl Kahn on December 10, 2015, 03:52:13 am
Don't worry, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what's going to happen
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on December 10, 2015, 12:26:29 pm
Quote from: Grendl Kahn on December 10, 2015, 03:52:13 am
Don't worry, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what's going to happen
It is. It is indeed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 10terrapin01 on December 10, 2015, 09:29:23 pm
With real sieges now, and no armor for my dwarves, I'm playing it cautious.  A vile force of 70 goblins encroaches on my fortress and I order everyone inside.  There are no less than seven bridges and seven levers into my fort and I have 15 idlers. For some reason they were not pulling the Armok-damned levers.

Then as I was typing this up to say woe is me, all hope is lost, I realized I hadn't included the lever room in the burrow. Man that was a close call.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tieranus on December 11, 2015, 02:28:51 pm
Started up a new game in 42.02, wanted to try out the taverns and all that (Fortress Mode). Went up on a ledge to clear away some hill, making my settlement raised a little. Miners go and dig out the hill, and as I gaze upon the beauty that is level ground, it pauses for half a second, and my lapse in judgement is brought to the forefront of my mind: I didn't get rid of the top part.

Two dead miners later, someone has taken over the leadership of this expedition. The tavern that will be raised on that ground shall be forever known as Miner's Lament.

I've been playing DF for at least half a decade. Face, meet palm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JonnyBlack01 on December 12, 2015, 10:29:47 am
Started a new fort bringing 9 female of both dogs and cats, and one male dog and cat. As soon as I un-paused the game, all of the cats ganged up on my one male dog and proceeded to tear it to shreds.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SaD-82 on December 12, 2015, 10:49:35 am
Quote from: JonnyBlack01 on December 12, 2015, 10:29:47 am
Started a new fort bringing 9 female of both dogs and cats, and one male dog and cat. As soon as I un-paused the game, all of the cats ganged up on my one male dog and proceeded to tear it to shreds.

And there are people who say that cats would be stupid...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: milo christiansen on December 12, 2015, 02:56:46 pm
So, in my new 42.2 fort I was digging a 3x4 hole through the aquifer via the weep holes method, nothing I haven't done many times before. When I finally got to the last level I accidentally dug out the wrong tile and now I literally can't pump fast enough to allow wall building on either side of the hole. The only thing to do is dump magma own the stairs to plug the gap, but that will require me to start a new aquifer pierce so I can get magma in the first place (just one minecart full will do)...

Oh for a working 42.x DFHack so I can fix stupid mistakes...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mgotthard on December 13, 2015, 07:16:59 am
In 40.24 the abundance of fruiting trees (even in a desert biome) made me complacent about building a well or looking for the caverns, since I never run out of booze.

....until I got a migration wave of 8 babies.  Which all simultaneously died of dehydration, since there was no water anywhere on the map and babies don't drink.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tovical on December 15, 2015, 08:14:53 am
My fortress has been going strong for years; not much in the way of FUN yet, but I play at an easy pace... So when one of my dwarves suddenly dies, and I see he was killed his own room, I begin to panic a little. A cursory investigation reveals he was killed by a sudden and rather severe fist fight. Panic subsides, but now I'm puzzled by why two seemingly happy dwarves started beating the crap out of each other.

The one who is still alive, I recognize his name and I soon realize it's because he's some kind of military noble. Nothing clicks at first, so I look at the dwarf's thoughts and prefs. I see the following, and that was my face palm moment:

He was frustrated considering the scarcity of cages and chains.

For years I've been ignoring my duke's demands for shields and finally my poor justice dwarf (who I didn't even realize was a justice dwarf) couldn't take it anymore. He stopped hoping that I would at least peek at the Justice screen, or even build a single chain, and took the law into his own hands, and now one of my legendary engravers is a bloody smear against a bedroom wall.

Now digging out a prison.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HiddenEyes056 on December 15, 2015, 09:50:48 am
A fort full of peace-loving hippies doesn't work so well when a once-goblin Weresheep decides to pay a visit.

The axe-wielding crow-woman who apparently chased it in didn't want anything to do with it (and spent the entire time screaming "Help!" from the top of a tree) and it tore three dwarves in half before a hastily assembled militia could be sent its way. They only won because it turned back into a goblin (but win they did - quite instantaneously), but everyone was quite injured. Everyone was sent to the hospital, a few levels down into the fortress, and the sole medical dwarf available cared for them as best he could. His dedication was rewarded with all five of them turning into weresheep and tearing apart the rest of the fort. That crow-woman didn't move from her perch the entire time. I reckon she did it on purpose.

(My dwarves didn't even write any books like they were supposed to! For shame.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FortunaDraken on December 15, 2015, 07:30:01 pm
...that moment you have a werebeast show up, slam into place a military alert and tell people to wall themselves off, only to have the idiots IGNORE THE MILITARY ALERT TO GO BEAT ON THE WEREBEAST.

Fuck the noise, force quit and reloading from the last season save. I don't even care that I lost progress, the fact that they ignored the military alert completely despite not being military was just...guh. IDIOTS. MILITARY ALERT MEANS STAY IN THE BURROW.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KillzEmAllGod on December 17, 2015, 06:04:43 pm
Quote from: FortunaDraken on December 15, 2015, 07:30:01 pm
...that moment you have a werebeast show up, slam into place a military alert and tell people to wall themselves off, only to have the idiots IGNORE THE MILITARY ALERT TO GO BEAT ON THE WEREBEAST.

Fuck the noise, force quit and reloading from the last season save. I don't even care that I lost progress, the fact that they ignored the military alert completely despite not being military was just...guh. IDIOTS. MILITARY ALERT MEANS STAY IN THE BURROW.

I had 20 dwarfs charge a werehorse seems they were drunk, I also expected it to die to the first dwarf that lost his arm then it killed the other dwarf as well. Thinking the whole time 2 dwarfs is fine, wait why the hell are more dwarfs charging at it only to die?
Watched the whole thing... drunk bastards.

I almost did the same thing, can't save scum because that would just lead down the path of accepting it repeating it again. Was such a good geographical area for a 3x6... I will miss that save.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on December 18, 2015, 04:20:54 am
Quote from: KillzEmAllGod on December 17, 2015, 06:04:43 pm
Quote from: FortunaDraken on December 15, 2015, 07:30:01 pm
...that moment you have a werebeast show up, slam into place a military alert and tell people to wall themselves off, only to have the idiots IGNORE THE MILITARY ALERT TO GO BEAT ON THE WEREBEAST.

Fuck the noise, force quit and reloading from the last season save. I don't even care that I lost progress, the fact that they ignored the military alert completely despite not being military was just...guh. IDIOTS. MILITARY ALERT MEANS STAY IN THE BURROW.

I had 20 dwarfs charge a werehorse seems they were drunk, I also expected it to die to the first dwarf that lost his arm then it killed the other dwarf as well. Thinking the whole time 2 dwarfs is fine, wait why the hell are more dwarfs charging at it only to die?
Watched the whole thing... drunk bastards.

I almost did the same thing, can't save scum because that would just lead down the path of accepting it repeating it again. Was such a good geographical area for a 3x6... I will miss that save.
You can reclaim, you know.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Potato9999 on December 22, 2015, 02:05:34 pm
Always remember to save your game before you try to savescum  :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Detros on December 22, 2015, 08:01:12 pm
Started using macros for repeating designs, like bedroom planning.
Found macros work even in trading screen, much easier now to buy all those food items.

http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Macros_and_Keymaps#DF_macros
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pseudo on December 23, 2015, 08:16:16 am
Macros are good even when you don't want to save them. It means that if you have a fiddly sequence of keystrokes you want to repeat you can instead mash Ctrl-P a bunch of times. I use them a fair bit for lever linkages (eg when I built a bunch of bridges in a row, so now I have to repeatedly scroll down 11 times to get to the next one to link).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RickRollYou2 on December 23, 2015, 09:18:12 am
Quote from: Pseudo on December 23, 2015, 08:16:16 am
mash Ctrl-P a bunch of times

You can also use ctrl-u + number to set the macro to repeat a certain number of times, up to 99, I believe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pseudo on December 24, 2015, 08:27:29 am
Well, speaking of face palms... TIL, I guess.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SlothPajamas on December 26, 2015, 10:24:31 am
This was a few days ago but, I probably should have expected that retiring my fortress in order to have an adventurer travel and settle there would cause some problems.
Unretire the fortress only to find the adventurer apparently died of thirst, and a bunch of human bums were hanging around outside in the icy wastes of the glacier.

The best part was that i believe somehow during the retirement period a bartender managed to get into a lethal barfight with a goblin, and during the brief course of history that had passed, the dwarf and goblin managed to mortally wound each other with what i imagine were punches to each other's lungs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torrenal on December 27, 2015, 04:14:32 pm
With cancellation spam from piercing an aquifer, it's easy to miss other cancelations if import.

'Urdim Vabokingish, Ranger cancels Bring Item to Depot: Interrupted by Rhinoceros.'

Cue me looking at the combat logs.
26 pages of the gal punching the poor thing and passing out.
The Rhino has half a page of dented, bruised, torn open, cut open parts, and half another page of scars.  "...His right rear leg bears the marks of numerous old wounds, the chief among them a very long straight scar...'.

...

No idea how the dwarf survived a fight with a rhino, including passing out on numerous occasions.  But I think I'll get the military involved.  They at least have weapons.  The gal is training up Fighter, Striker, and a few other skills, so may be recruited. (Yeah, I'm equal opportunity with military)

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pseudo on December 28, 2015, 07:57:36 am
With cancellation spam from piercing an aquifer, it's easy to miss other important cancellations.

...Such as those resulting from accidentally piercing another aquifer. Luckily I put a fortification at the map edge in the bottom level of the crypts, or it would have flooded half the fort before I noticed. As it was, one of my (luckily empty) stockpile areas is flooded. Cost me my best miner ( :( ) too, and now my main staircase (and everything around it, and half the crypts) is muddy - anyone know how to clean it so trees won't grow? I don't want to have to put constructions everywhere. Would (clearing out the dwarves and) dropping magma down work?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Insert_Gnome_Here on December 30, 2015, 04:04:14 am
On an embark with silver, copper and lead. My weaponsmith gets a mood, and inspection of his preferences reveals he likes war hammers. I forbid copper bars, to ensure the hammer is as heavy as possible, but I must have made a mistake as he the workshop shows 2 silver bars without the [tsk] icon. A while later, he goes bezerk and is struck down immediately.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lossmar on December 31, 2015, 02:19:57 pm
I just realized that maybe having one grower/brewer, 10x10 farm plot AND "brew drink from plant" on repeat isn't the best idea.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torrenal on December 31, 2015, 09:26:39 pm
Simple operation:
Put bait on a rope.
Wall it in with the traps.
Open the front door so everyone outside paths to the bait across the traps.

Except the bait kept escaping.


Looking at jobs after one of the escapes, I noted: 'Pen/Pasture stray cat'
Yeah, the bait was from my first two cats that I'd penned in the stockpiles early on to avoid them wandering into trouble where I was puncturing the aquifer.

As a reminder to self, remove pets from pens before putting them on chain.
//Torrenal

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bakaridjan on January 01, 2016, 12:24:44 pm
Quote from: Pseudo on December 28, 2015, 07:57:36 am
With cancellation spam from piercing an aquifer, it's easy to miss other important cancellations.

...Such as those resulting from accidentally piercing another aquifer. Luckily I put a fortification at the map edge in the bottom level of the crypts, or it would have flooded half the fort before I noticed. As it was, one of my (luckily empty) stockpile areas is flooded. Cost me my best miner ( :( ) too, and now my main staircase (and everything around it, and half the crypts) is muddy - anyone know how to clean it so trees won't grow? I don't want to have to put constructions everywhere. Would (clearing out the dwarves and) dropping magma down work?

I'm pretty sure it does. Magma returns "muddy" floors to their original non-muddy material after it evaporates.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torrenal on January 01, 2016, 11:26:06 pm
Having caged a dragon does not mean you are safe...
This one managed to break into my fort for general chaos after escaping its cage.  My military, having been stood down was not nearby, because I stood them down when the dragon ran into the trap.

Yeah, cages will melt in fire.

//Torrenal
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: spazyak on January 02, 2016, 10:47:37 pm
Forgot about a forgotten beast that had shown up, about 6 minutes later five reports came in about dwarves dying showed up. I quickly scrambled my military to find out that most of those were my from my military including a legendary spear dwarf whose face got burned off....Rest in pieces udin.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zarathustra30 on January 02, 2016, 10:59:07 pm
So, I was just attacked by a coral hill titan. With webs. It decided to enter the fortress through the hole for a waterwheel that powered a millstone, instead of entering through the clearly demarked entrance with bridge traps, minecart cannons, and military. I had planned for this eventuality, and locked down my farms to prevent it from getting into my fort.

That bugger was the fastest Titan I have ever seen.

By the time a dwarf had pulled the lever, it was standing on the bridge, which promptly deconstructed. And then it stopped. It waited for my marksdwarves to get there, to start shooting at it. Then It launched its first web and killed half of a squad by force of impact. It charged in and killed the remaining (webbed) marksdwarves.

It skurried through my kitchens and into my tavern, where the rest of my military and about 20 visiting mercenaries waited. Everybody charged in, and spent about a page of logs bashing in its head with silver maces and chopping at its limbs with steel swords. By the end of it, every single one of the titan's body parts were wounded - either fractured or broken. Then it killed everyone. This thing couldn't even stand up, but it was more than capable of goring every last soul in the tavern.

After the bloodbath, it spent its time hunting down every citizen that did not make it to the bolthole on time, which included all of my miners. All of my citizens were trapped in that dormitory, and they couldn't even dig their way to freedom. And the Titan was once again waiting.

I opened the emergency lockdown and all of my citizens streamed forth to meet the beast. Leading the charge was Dastot Gearsummer, Mason. He met the foe with a single punch. Where silver maces, steel swords, and hundreds of bolts had failed, a single punch from an unskilled mason slew the beast.

As I rebuild the fort, Dastot shall wear nothing but the finest silk, and have a tomb made from the Titan's bone's (or whatever a coral quadruped has).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Amperzand on January 03, 2016, 12:44:06 am
Coral.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on January 03, 2016, 02:19:54 pm
Quote from: Zarathustra30 on January 02, 2016, 10:59:07 pm
I opened the emergency lockdown and all of my citizens streamed forth to meet the beast. Leading the charge was Dastot Gearsummer, Mason. He met the foe with a single punch. Where silver maces, steel swords, and hundreds of bolts had failed, a single punch from an unskilled mason slew the beast.
That's not a facepalm, that's the stuff of legend, right there :P

I once built a large shooting range for my marksdwarves to practice on live targets in. It was completely separate from my main fortress. I caught a dragon and parked it inside in it's cage, then waited for my three marksdwarve squads to arrive. Every time one or two would trickle in, two or three would leave. It was frustrating. Finally, I let the dragon out of the cage, and all but one marksdwarf left. Not "ran off." Not "Fled in terror." Not "went looking for ammo." Just "Meh, What else is going on?" Well, they were justified in that that lone remaining marksdwarf fired three shots, the first two of which missed, and the third of which must have been the Black Arrow, because it struck the dragon in the neck and killed it instantly.

It's like my marksdwarfs had to draw straws to see who got stuck with the unenviable task of putting down the miserable monster. The winners got to go haul rocks and toss xXrope reed fiber sockXxs into the garbage chute. Yay?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MobRules on January 03, 2016, 04:26:36 pm
I started a .42 game, chose an embark between four (!) dark towers -- and then proceed to prioritize early fort set-up as though I were still in .40.

I haven't had this many dwarves slaughtered by goblins since .34.

Fortunately, unlike .34, the survivors are much better able to deal with the horror, and are able to function during the build-coffins-and-place-them-as-fast-as-you-can-don't-mind-the-miasma phase. (This was after I failed to notice a dwarf had entered a mood until I saw the message "Urist McWeaver cancels strange mood: gone insane. Urist McWeaver has gone stark raving mad!" Not sure what the goblins thought when he charged at them buck-naked.)

Edit: Indeed, the kind of slaughter that would have been a fortress-ending !FUN! disaster in .34, and wouldn't have happened at all in .40, is very much possible to recover from in .42. Only a few job cancelations as I got all the casualties memorialized and the blood cleaned off the walls; plenty of migrants arriving and jumping right in to help instead of freaking out, and when the Vile Force of Darkness came back the next ingame year in much greater numbers than previously, we were ready. Only (non-invader) casualties were a pet chicken and a human  hammerman visitor -- the former didn't run fast enough, the latter left the safe tavern to quixotically charge straight into a trapped corridor that was overflowing with heavily armed invaders.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheBiggerFish on January 03, 2016, 11:24:09 pm
PTW.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zarathustra30 on January 04, 2016, 10:41:20 am
Daston Gearsummer, killer of the hill titan Zslu Swampscale, was just bitten by a were-mammoth.

I couldn't have one week?

Edit: now that he is under protective bed-rest, he just entered a secretive mood. Does turning prevent insanity from failed moods?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: EBannion on January 04, 2016, 11:03:24 am
Quote from: Zarathustra30 on January 04, 2016, 10:41:20 am
Daston Gearsummer, killer of the hill titan Zslu Swampscale, was just bitten by a were-mammoth.

I couldn't have one week?

Edit: now that he is under protective bed-rest, he just entered a secretive mood. Does turning prevent insanity from failed moods?

I don't think I've ever seen research on that. Time for you to perform some cutting-edge !!SCIENCE!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Zarathustra30 on January 04, 2016, 11:10:34 am
As long as he survives. He as a missing leg arm, a wounded leg, a skull fracture, a lower back injury, and I'm pretty sure blood loss. He got out of bed before my CMD could evaluate him.

Edit: misread injuries. Missing parts are not injured.

Edit: Dastot Gearsummer cancels Strange Mood: too injured. Zarathustra30 has been stricken my melancholy!

Of course he died before he could heal his wounds by changing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jerry The Hellbound on January 04, 2016, 06:43:39 pm
Ok so, i litterlary just beat a night beast without getting TOO damaged (yeah just a broken foot, bruised wing, and maybe a few cuts) and i decided on living on its humble abode, after learning that i could not walk on campfires i decided to block the entrance with them,  oblivious that they stay on for-EVER, that run ended on NOT  a warrior's death, but getting trapped inside by my own obliviousness. Yeah...
Edit: is there a way to put them out?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Torrenal on January 04, 2016, 08:59:17 pm
You might try better in the Adventure Mode Discussion forum...  All of us here play fortress mode, and some of us (like me) do so exclusively.

If I had to guess, water in sufficient quantity puts out hot things (some exceptions may apply), so may help here.

Perusing http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Campfire I find this little tidbit of information that you might find helpful:
Quote
Walking into a tile containing a campfire is not possible, even for creatures immune to fire. Jumping over and even into a campfire is possible and harmless. Campfires can't be destroyed but will disappear on their own after few hours.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SomeoneSneaky on January 05, 2016, 07:34:45 am
Despite playing for a few years, there's one facepalm I still catch myself doing now and then.

Oh, a siege is here? I'll just pull this handy lever and close the drawbridge to keep those pesky pests from bothering my dwarves.

Wait, where did the bridge go

oh god so many goblins

oh right there's an important difference between raise and retract
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Amperzand on January 05, 2016, 07:36:51 am
Quote from: Jerry The Hellbound on January 04, 2016, 06:43:39 pm
Ok so, i litterlary just beat a night beast without getting TOO damaged (yeah just a broken foot, bruised wing, and maybe a few cuts) and i decided on living on its humble abode, after learning that i could not walk on campfires i decided to block the entrance with them,  oblivious that they stay on for-EVER, that run ended on NOT  a warrior's death, but getting trapped inside by my own obliviousness. Yeah...
Edit: is there a way to put them out?

Either sleep for a day or so, or jump onto the campfires.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: khearn on January 05, 2016, 12:07:45 pm
Quote from: SomeoneSneaky on January 05, 2016, 07:34:45 am
oh right there's an important difference between raise and retract

I always add a "Pull the lever!" right after the order to link up a bridge, just to be sure I got it all right. It can cause a few cancellations as dwarves have their paths blocked, and maybe someone will get launched, but it's worth it to be sure the bridge will do the right thing in an emergency.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SomeoneSneaky on January 05, 2016, 06:33:00 pm
And on a different note, there's also loading the game because you have an idea on how to change an ongoing project to make it easier on yourself, so you think to yourself, it's okay, this won't take long.

And then five hours later you realize you meant to go to bed three hours ago. :|
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HiddenEyes056 on January 06, 2016, 08:01:21 am
*snip*

Wrong thread! Sorry!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: strawberry-wine on January 06, 2016, 02:20:05 pm
I'm trying to built a fort that grows its population mostly through births (migrant cap of 25). So I'm being really careful about losing dwarfs and encouraging pregnancies and whatnot.

A year in, a wereraccoon attacked and only infected one soldier before going down. That soldier now resides inside a tiny lockbox on the surface, waiting for when she's needed for defense.

Finally, the fortress had its first birth. Of course, it was the wereraccoon's.

(Strangely enough, once transformed the wereraccoon did not tear her babby to shreds as expected. So I guess I may have the fun of coaxing the child from the werebox a year from now.) EDIT: Nevermind, the valiant baby fell in battle :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Trappington on January 07, 2016, 10:54:32 am
Quote from: strawberry-wine on January 06, 2016, 02:20:05 pm
I'm trying to built a fort that grows its population mostly through births (migrant cap of 25). So I'm being really careful about losing dwarfs and encouraging pregnancies and whatnot.

A year in, a wereraccoon attacked and only infected one soldier before going down. That soldier now resides inside a tiny lockbox on the surface, waiting for when she's needed for defense.

Finally, the fortress had its first birth. Of course, it was the wereraccoon's.

(Strangely enough, once transformed the wereraccoon did not tear her babby to shreds as expected. So I guess I may have the fun of coaxing the child from the werebox a year from now.) EDIT: Nevermind, the valiant baby fell in battle :(

This is why I try to never put female dwarfs into the military.  Well, not the exact reason, or at least not the one I was originally thinking of, but ya know...it all comes with the territory right?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: alexs2112 on January 07, 2016, 05:27:50 pm
After almost my entire population of animals starved to death underground (around 200) I realized that my pasture was left unactive after a recent siege
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Detros on January 07, 2016, 08:43:13 pm
It seems ice is maybe not the best material for building dams (bridges) in the river.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Trappington on January 08, 2016, 11:15:13 am
So I had a trapped ettin, and I was planning on training up some marksdwarfs, so I contrived a live target shooting range using fortifications, a spot for the ettin to be released from its cage, and a drawbridge to seal everything up before the release.  Unfortunately, I got things a little mixed up, and the result was the ettin escaping the enclosure.  Fortunately my militia responded quick enough and the foul beast was slain after bashing one of my legendary cook's fingers.   While things ended up O.K., I still could kick myself for messing up with the levers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FantasticDorf on January 08, 2016, 07:10:21 pm
Due to a error i think on the raws and a 10000 embark point shopping spree (apparently i have impossible things from the mountainhomes, like pig chitin in the place of silk bags) my future laboratory with my horribly deformed camel people assistants i set out with 20 live uncaged fire snakes without realizing until my wagon and everything around it (including my specimens for a secret project i might post on the forums for science about) were incinerated in heat on level par with dragonfire.

Back to the drawing-board.  >:(

(2nd attempt, fudged it up badly by turning all my dwarfs into useless fish men - not related to experiment, can't access the labours but atleast the embark fishmen are intelligent enough to commit to jobs, raws messed up bad, commiting to reinstalling backup and recommencing experiment)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheBiggerFish on January 08, 2016, 07:22:59 pm
Quote from: FantasticDorf on January 08, 2016, 07:10:21 pm
Due to a error i think on the raws and a 10000 embark point shopping spree (apparently i have impossible things from the mountainhomes, like pig chitin in the place of silk bags) my future laboratory with my horribly deformed camel people assistants i set out with 20 live uncaged fire snakes without realizing until my wagon and everything around it (including my specimens for a secret project i might post on the forums for science about) were incinerated in heat on level par with dragonfire.

Back to the drawing-board.  >:(

(2nd attempt, fudged it up badly by turning all my dwarfs into useless fish men - not related to experiment, can't access the labours but atleast the embark fishmen are intelligent enough to commit to jobs, raws messed up bad, commiting to reinstalling backup and recommencing experiment)
WTF did you DO?!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dozebm Lolumzals on January 08, 2016, 09:52:39 pm
Raw duplication?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FantasticDorf on January 09, 2016, 06:39:28 am
Quote from: jwoodward48df on January 08, 2016, 09:52:39 pm
Raw duplication?

I embarked with the fire snakes paid for (and bolstered the numbers to 20) because i thought they would be caged.  :P

No just a nasty case of getting my custom RAW code modifications wrong (for science & personal reference)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BNDR on January 14, 2016, 03:20:57 am
Just recently

'Remove construction' on a 2x1 tower of up+down stairs. Suddenly.

"Something has collapsed on the ground."

Puff of dust on the ground, I think, OK!
Then:
"Urist McTrademaster has been found dead."

2 levels underground I see my master Trader and broker mangled crushed lifeless and dead, slammed thru the floors and crushed by everything possible that came down on him. God damn it.

Then the caravan comes. Needless to say, caravan made a lot more money than they should've that day.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on January 17, 2016, 06:13:48 am
... I think I might have 'reclaimed' weapons militiadwarfs were attached to.  :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MoonyTheHuman on January 17, 2016, 12:36:26 pm
trying to make water via magma + ice the wrong way, i froze 4 dorfs
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AzyWng on January 17, 2016, 10:46:04 pm
I got my militia commander and a marksdwarf killed after they tried to fight a werebeast. 2 dwarves in the squad were observing the lockdown I had put in place and didn't die.

The werepig transformed into a dwarf. I had the two remaining dwarves fight it.

One hit caused the dwarf's neck to fly off in an arc.

If only I had waited instead of panicking...

EDIT: New facepalm moment:

Misspelling "Martial" as "Marital" on the forums. Twice. Three times, in fact!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: indyofcomo on January 18, 2016, 04:12:07 pm
saw on youtube video that you could embark with training axes instead of copper ones to save points.
Removed copper axes. Never added training axes. Dur.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Detros on January 18, 2016, 06:25:12 pm
Quote from: indyofcomo on January 18, 2016, 04:12:07 pm
saw on youtube video that you could embark with training axes instead of copper ones to save points.
Removed copper axes. Never added training axes. Dur.
No need to worry
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: indyofcomo on January 19, 2016, 09:24:39 am
Quote from: Detros on January 18, 2016, 06:25:12 pm
Quote from: indyofcomo on January 18, 2016, 04:12:07 pm
saw on youtube video that you could embark with training axes instead of copper ones to save points.
Removed copper axes. Never added training axes. Dur.
No need to worry
  • Deconstruct your wagon to get 3 wood.
  • Use one wood for building of carpenter's workshop.
  • Use one wood for crafting of training axe.
  • Enjoy your wood cutting tool and spare wood.

oh, didn't think of that. Waited until autumn and traded for training axe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: cochramd on January 19, 2016, 01:00:16 pm
Quote from: Detros on January 18, 2016, 06:25:12 pm
Quote from: indyofcomo on January 18, 2016, 04:12:07 pm
saw on youtube video that you could embark with training axes instead of copper ones to save points.
Removed copper axes. Never added training axes. Dur.
No need to worry
  • Deconstruct your wagon to get 3 wood.
  • Use one wood for building of carpenter's workshop.
  • Use one wood for crafting of training axe.
  • Enjoy your wood cutting tool and spare wood.
Better yet:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skribbblie on January 19, 2016, 07:41:57 pm
What did we learn? That it's a bad idea to put someone in the danger room without neck protection, yes? Yes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AzyWng on January 19, 2016, 08:12:06 pm
Quote from: Skribbblie on January 19, 2016, 07:41:57 pm
What did we learn? That it's a bad idea to put someone in the danger room without neck protection, yes? Yes.

You best protect ya neck and all that, eh?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skribbblie on January 19, 2016, 09:35:45 pm
Quote from: AzyWng on January 19, 2016, 08:12:06 pm
You best protect ya neck and all that, eh?
It is legitimately amazing how necessary cloaks are for a soldier.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: cochramd on January 19, 2016, 11:57:59 pm
Quote from: Skribbblie on January 19, 2016, 09:35:45 pm
Quote from: AzyWng on January 19, 2016, 08:12:06 pm
You best protect ya neck and all that, eh?
It is legitimately amazing how necessary cloaks are for a soldier.
Chainmail and leather armor provide neck protection. If you're not using actual armor on your military for some reason, then in addition to cloaks you can use dresses, robes, togas, coats and shirts to provide neck protection. Just putting that out there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: khearn on January 20, 2016, 03:41:54 pm
They must put a lot of starch in the collars of their silk shirts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AzyWng on January 20, 2016, 06:07:42 pm
Quote from: khearn on January 20, 2016, 03:41:54 pm
They must put a lot of starch in the collars of their silk shirts.

Ah, he never said that the neck protection was any good. Just that it was there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Skribbblie on January 21, 2016, 11:54:26 pm
Quote from: AzyWng on January 20, 2016, 06:07:42 pm
Quote from: khearn on January 20, 2016, 03:41:54 pm
They must put a lot of starch in the collars of their silk shirts.

Ah, he never said that the neck protection was any good. Just that it was there.
If it's good enough to stop a wooden training spear, it'll do.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: cochramd on January 22, 2016, 02:56:08 pm
Seriously though, put some real armor on those guys. You can get all body parts armored with or without using metal, and armor is going to do way more than any cloak will.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on January 22, 2016, 04:06:42 pm
tiny collapse in cavern as floor was not well secured. The spinner Kol Nakuststhintad has gone missing. Presumed fallen from -48 to -107 (!)  I can't look down widely enough to see where he ended up; if the flal didn't vaporize him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: khearn on January 22, 2016, 04:41:51 pm
If he was alive while he fell, he should have radioed back reports as he fell, mapping all the way to the bottom. He might have to have been conscious to do that, I'm not 100% sure. The cave-in might have knocked him out before he went cavediving.

I've used this technique when I've tunnelled into the top of a very deep cavern, so deep I couldn't see the bottom. I just marked the opening as a pit zone and designated a handy kitten as a cave explorer. It sent excellent reports all the way down, and apparently landed on its feet. At least, one leg got blown in each direction when it disassembled at the bottom. Most useful kitten, evah.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Trappington on January 22, 2016, 05:35:43 pm
Quote from: FrisianDude on January 22, 2016, 04:06:42 pm
tiny collapse in cavern as floor was not well secured. The spinner Kol Nakuststhintad has gone missing. Presumed fallen from -48 to -107 (!)  I can't look down widely enough to see where he ended up; if the flal didn't vaporize him.

Reading about this made me remember....

In one of my early fortresses, I was starting to set up a cistern.  I had channeled down the sides and was going to mine out the bottom, setting up a support before the last piece was mined out.  I then promptly forgot to leave a tile un-mined, which killed two or three of my miners.  ::)  In the attempt to recover the bodies and properly inter them, I repeated my mistake, killing off the last of my skilled miners.  >:( 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on January 22, 2016, 05:40:46 pm
I am SURE I have done things similar. Especially in my earliest attempts at well/cistern.


Also Dodokor was NOT prepared for this horde of Goblins, beak dogs and trolls. At almost 50 inhabitants of whom fewer than 20 militia...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Quasar_42 on January 24, 2016, 01:38:44 am
I had a brilliant plan for building a mighty lake fortress out of the water, then collapsing it into the water.

A year and a half, a few thousand logs, and four drownings later, I have learned that constructions behave exactly how they would in real life, they crumble into a pile of building materials.

I will be draining the lake shortly and taking back what is mine.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Insert_Gnome_Here on January 24, 2016, 05:30:21 am
Quote from: Quasar_42 on January 24, 2016, 01:38:44 am
I will be draining the lake shortly and taking back what is mine.

Easier to embark on cold/temperate biome then wait for it to freeze.
I've done that on an ocean only embark before: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=149165.0
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eits on January 24, 2016, 06:25:42 am
Once upon a time during a goblin siege, I tried to smash some trolls with my bridge. What I didn't account for was the possibility of bridge being smashed to pieces by trolls' heads instead. And since I didn't have any other defensive measures, my fortress basically became a free candy for those goblins.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheBiggerFish on January 24, 2016, 10:27:50 am
What happened with the ocean fort?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Quasar_42 on January 24, 2016, 12:24:47 pm
Quote from: Insert_Gnome_Here on January 24, 2016, 05:30:21 am
Easier to embark on cold/temperate biome then wait for it to freeze.

Cooperating with nature? What are we, elves?

In all seriousness, I'm pretty sure your plan involved much more thought then "build a big fort and drop it into the lake", and that seems to be where you succeeded and I did not (yet).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on January 24, 2016, 12:51:51 pm
I just embarked in a one-sided valley with a waterfall and filled in the lake.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on January 25, 2016, 08:39:20 am
ffs, tiny human/goblin siege. I lose my marksdwarf captain because  apparently LIKES being stabbed and my feshly elected mayor Momuz Kaganid and one of my human crossbowmen falls into the fuckn river. I should have just opened the bridge before my leatherworker who likes to fish got chased by a human recruit. Suddenly losses.

The Dostngosp who stabbed Kel the x-bow mcap died somewhat musically - bonng -thwiiing-crcks

And I got queened.

Edit; my mongoos has been in a cage too long and it wallows in misery  :'(

two days later; my melee militia has 'slight pain' due to FB made of coral 's poisonous gas. I'm afraid it'll get worse.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hinric on January 27, 2016, 04:04:46 pm
I'd recently finished my magma-based automatic waste disposal unit. Three minecarts working side by side to bring refuse and unneeded stone up over a magma pipe and dump it in. The 3x1 dumping hole is covered by three 1x1 stone bridges connected to pressure plates to ensure that the chute is closed off when not in use, so as to prevent unwelcome intrusions through the waste chute by surprise visitors.
After a while I notice that the middle bridge is somehow stuck in the open position. This calls for immediate correction, so I order the bridge dismantled and rebuilt. The only dwarf in my fortress who can do this is my legendary mason, being also the only architect. After the final order is given, I focus my attention on a different matter. (For some reason the minecart bringing down iron ore to the magma furnaces keeps dumping it on the final ramp instead of at its destination. Why is that?)
While occupied with this, a report comes in: the magma sea has been discovered! Strange, I don't have any miners working that deep at present... A few ticks later, a new report: "Raw adamantine has beeen discovered! Praise the miners!" I zoom in to find that an adamantine pylon has indeed been discovered in the magma sea.
The facepalm moment occurs a week later when my legendary mason is reported missing and I go to the waste disposal unit to find the middle bridge has only been halfway completed. Two lessons to learn from this:
1: Make sure to shut down the magma-based waste disposal unit before sending in vital personnel to perform maintenance.
2: Magmanauts can be used to discover the location of adamantine pylons.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FantasticDorf on January 28, 2016, 09:14:30 am
Quote from: hinric on January 27, 2016, 04:04:46 pm
I'd recently finished my magma-based automatic waste disposal unit. Three minecarts working side by side to bring refuse and unneeded stone up over a magma pipe and dump it in. The 3x1 dumping hole is covered by three 1x1 stone bridges connected to pressure plates to ensure that the chute is closed off when not in use, so as to prevent unwelcome intrusions through the waste chute by surprise visitors.
After a while I notice that the middle bridge is somehow stuck in the open position. This calls for immediate correction, so I order the bridge dismantled and rebuilt. The only dwarf in my fortress who can do this is my legendary mason, being also the only architect. After the final order is given, I focus my attention on a different matter. (For some reason the minecart bringing down iron ore to the magma furnaces keeps dumping it on the final ramp instead of at its destination. Why is that?)
While occupied with this, a report comes in: the magma sea has been discovered! Strange, I don't have any miners working that deep at present... A few ticks later, a new report: "Raw adamantine has beeen discovered! Praise the miners!" I zoom in to find that an adamantine pylon has indeed been discovered in the magma sea.
The facepalm moment occurs a week later when my legendary mason is reported missing and I go to the waste disposal unit to find the middle bridge has only been halfway completed. Two lessons to learn from this:
1: Make sure to shut down the magma-based waste disposal unit before sending in vital personnel to perform maintenance.
2: Magmanauts can be used to discover the location of adamantine pylons.

He must have been made of mean stuff to dive that deep without being dead, any idea what he was wearing? It might have slowed down the rate of how he burned (If you want to make more magmanauts for reference)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Insert_Gnome_Here on January 28, 2016, 05:16:03 pm
No. Dwarves/animals being able to discover magma, candy etc. is a known bug. I  think it works even when they are unconscious. Also, IIRC, creatures survive until they hit SMR, something to do with falling creature physics.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on January 28, 2016, 10:09:01 pm
Quote from: FantasticDorf on January 28, 2016, 09:14:30 am
He must have been made of mean stuff to dive that deep without being dead, any idea what he was wearing? It might have slowed down the rate of how he burned (If you want to make more magmanauts for reference)
You might actually be able to survive for a short while IRL because of the Leidenfrost effect (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leidenfrost_effect), assuming you can avoid the convection at the surface. The part I question is if you could even sink in liquid rock if you tried. That and the obvious not being able to see through it.

If you've fallen in magma in adv mode, you'd see that it actually takes quite a while to die even while not falling. The cause of death used to be blood loss before pulping was implemented. I don't know if you die any more quickly now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on January 29, 2016, 09:27:00 am
Minkot Vutoktangath, legendary miner, died in a collapse. He's listed as missing. His corpse shows up in the stocks screen (under corpses of course) IN a granite wall. I assume poor bugger got smeared. Whoops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pikachu17 on January 29, 2016, 03:34:41 pm
whats with the ones about discovering mouse functionality? I NEVER use the mouse
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on January 29, 2016, 05:58:50 pm
Quote from: pikachu17 on January 29, 2016, 03:34:41 pm
whats with the ones about discovering mouse functionality? I NEVER use the mouse
It makes it really easy to click the mouse (with say, up/down stairs) and just hold the button to drop all of the z levels, until you hit the bottom.  Then your miners will dig until they hit bottom. Makes a few things like that easier.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on January 29, 2016, 06:18:12 pm
Quote from: SimRobert2001 on January 29, 2016, 05:58:50 pm
Quote from: pikachu17 on January 29, 2016, 03:34:41 pm
whats with the ones about discovering mouse functionality? I NEVER use the mouse
It makes it really easy to click the mouse (with say, up/down stairs) and just hold the button to drop all of the z levels, until you hit the bottom.  Then your miners will dig until they hit bottom. Makes a few things like that easier.
Or you could just start designating ([Enter]) at the top, go down to the bottom, then complete the designation area. You can do larger than 1x1 this way.

If you accidentally move with the mouse, you're gonna have a bad time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FantasticDorf on January 30, 2016, 12:01:31 pm
> Groundbreaking excellent fortress design (for me anyway) on a really good run. Experimenting with animal pen designs and building a pump-house to provide clean water more conveniently diverted away from the local river)

> I have a intense lack of judgement, place a floor foolishly and three of my most vital irreplacable dwarves my exceptional hardened, stonecrafter/mason, my excellent well traveleled carpenter, and the only person in the fort to understand money (subpar pro metalsmith broker) all fall into the water and drown, leaving the rest of the fortress of half useful village idiots with a derelict pumphouse with three corpses floating in it near irredeemable.

Good game, no resistance ill just let it happen

> Retire fortress, word to the wise. Supports save lives.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on January 30, 2016, 02:09:56 pm
CHRIST. that makes sieges not amusing. Got siege, I was happy with that. I set my best marksdwarf squad (as in, somewhat decent) on the ramparts. They shoot some trolls (as the trolls advanced fastest) then I notice only the captain and one chap are still at their post. The rest is marching over my first bridge to bring the fight closer. Result is obviously three marksdwarfs (one of whom human) IN THE FUCKING RIVER.  Yeah, no. I'm not gonna call that good game. Imma save scum the shit out of that.

Edit; this time the bridge did get closed. Just before ahuman axeman (visitor) left - a bunch of goblin junk still on it from the last time has been rivered... slightly annoying that nothing actually flows away.

There's quite a few things (and corpses) I'd like to remove from the river but I'm not sure how to.

Edit2; oh poop. I closed the bridge before the gobs arrived. They now spawned on the other side, my side, of the river. Ops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FirestormXL on January 30, 2016, 04:08:33 pm
I had a wonderful fortress going, fended off every siege, fabulously wealthy, etc.
My prior diagnostician had died due to circumstances that I forget. Having a fresh one I picked a dwarf best for the role. I figured I'd best train him up.

There was a back entrance for the wagons filled with trade goods to come into the fortress attached to a bridge. Now this little bridge was simple, over a 2 Z pit and triggered by a lever, it was right next to the hospital and had a ramp up on the far side.

I'm sure you can see where this is going, but I loaded it up with Dwarves... short useless ones that can't work yet, about 10 of them. My plan was to pull the trigger and let the doctor train up on their bruises... Apparently Dwarven children are the polar opposite of cats, as when dropped any amount of distance a fair number go seem to go bottom up. If memory serves there were numerous broken arms, broken legs and amazingly enough 2 broken skulls/brains, and of course, plenty of bruises.

Coincidentally I had just executed all of the useless pets I could to save on frame-rate. A story to itself I made an execution hatch far above my vast trapped bridge entrance over a 10 deep pit. upon filling it with the various pets they all seemed to just cling to the edges and not plummet when I opened the trapdoor... So I opted for a spike/lever solution instead, this worked much better.

Needless to say the fort rapidly devolved into a tantrum spiral *Insert facepalm*, the kicker on this little story is that I had accepted becoming the capital earlier in the year and the queen arrived during the worst of this fighting... For science sake I can state that she did not seem even the remotest perturbed by this as she walked through the halls of fighting Dwarves, just as stately and composed as she could be, alongside children whom's legs were ripped off and then used to beat to death the legless engraver (a profession I cannot help but always give to the dwarf with the least limbs).

I saw the end of this fortress (when I see a loss of around 85% of the population in one go I tend to abandon) and proceeded to load the queen into the first pet execution drop. She did not cling to the walls. As far as I could tell the dwarves were neither moved to tantrum harder, nor stop.

I caught much of it on video. I was going to make a youtube video of it but got bored, I'm sure I have the footage around somewhere.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on January 30, 2016, 05:40:19 pm
so you're saying the queen felt right at home? :o

Also why are marksdwarves so stupefyingly bad at following station orders?  :-\  They suddenly charged while I tried to pull a fast one on a troll with the goblin army. The troll went in the river as did four marksdwarfs. I want it to go just a bit less stupid, pleaaaase oh game
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FirestormXL on January 31, 2016, 12:20:26 pm
Yes, she seemed completely unaffected by the chaos surrounding her. She just walked around the fortress mildly while every other dwarf participated in full throttle tantrum spiral murder bashing. Maybe because she arrived just when the tantrum was revving up she didn't have any actual relationship to anybody at the site yet?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Valikdu on January 31, 2016, 12:52:10 pm
A titan comes. No scary stuff in the description (dust, gas, webs...), so I just send a squad after it.

"Soldier X has been struck down" - 6 times

I zoom in to the event... yep, there'a  pile of corpses and a pile of... webs? But there was nothing--- oh. The titan is a spider, so it naturally has the webbing. FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FantasticDorf on January 31, 2016, 04:01:07 pm
Suprise jabberer chasing crundles off screen into my traps to get around them. Joining forces momentarily jabberer and remaining crundle forces then proceeded to hack away at my commander i stationed just in case they got close.

Eventually knocking my militia commander unconcious from blood loss, JUST as (i still haven't wrapped my head around military composition and military game structure just yet, so its just bare bones to-hand people) a big furry earwig of a forgotten beast with a poisonous bite rolls in conveniently at the worst possible time.

Clever girl. My heroic hammerdwarf sidekick militia squaddie then proceeded to smash the decieving ball of feathers into dust and significantly weaken the forgotten beast taking out its legs with powerful blows (before being disembowled) until a stray miner broke its thorax (central body) with a pickaxe, fortress saved. Crisis averted.

Id like to think in his death throes from within my murderously unhygenic and not nearly complete hospital which is just a large room with some splints and crutches thrown in one corner he's secretly proud the fort's honour was restored for the price of blood. Given that i had a pretty tight ship going in relation to who does what jobs now distrubed, i retired it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FirestormXL on January 31, 2016, 05:55:18 pm
2 more here!

     Had a medium sized fort that connected with the caverns, now I had taken pains to carefully train and arm 3 squads of crossbow-dwarfs as well as digging the actual entrance to the caverns at the end of a long corridor, through 10 stone doors, across a field, overshadowed by a long ledge. Well a forgotten beast eventually arrived and it was an inorganic humanoid. My first inorganic, I was kinda scurred and excited as I had read they were rather tough. I sent my archers to their guard burrows on the ledge and awaited the beast. One by one he bashed through the stone doors, slowly reaching the surface and my fortress. I was anticipating a battle of epic proportions against a weakened Forgotten beast and  my guard stationed within the fort.

     First arrow tore the mud beast in half.


     Another moment was during an epic fort I had built in a mountainside overlooking a vast desert. I used the sand to make glass disks because for some reason I am OCD about Spinning disk traps, and only glass ones at that... The entrance was plastered with them so I never had a real "standing" army, more of a single squad, I also had a thriving steel industry and had many full suits with plenty of weapons. I even had a legendary Zinc battleaxe which I gave to a particularly strong, tough dwarf. I mean this guy described and had the stat line of Arnold.
     He was an immigrant who I immediately promoted to captain of the guard and decked out in masterwork steel along with the Legend axe. He reigned as Captain Shwartzendwarf for many a year, once a Megabeast resembling a scorpion with fur appeared, I sent him alone to take it on, just to see if he could. There was a long fight involving many dodges and hacks but eventually he hacked bit by bit off until the beast stopped moving. This dwarf was to date the most epic of dwarfs I ever had, even in his death.
     I can only guess as to how this actually happened but I think he decided to take a nap on my legendary mechanism glass disk trap centered in the middle of my fort, that or Urist Mclittlemac somehow connected with a tantrum induced knockout punch because he was living in a partial sand castle for years with only wine to drink.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: cochramd on February 01, 2016, 07:49:53 am
Today I learned that the computers at the CAD lab run DF faster than my computer at home (which to be fair is 6 years old). Time to start saving up for a new CPU....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: tranquilium on February 02, 2016, 07:22:23 am
Quote from: Bumber on January 28, 2016, 10:09:01 pm
Quote from: FantasticDorf on January 28, 2016, 09:14:30 am
He must have been made of mean stuff to dive that deep without being dead, any idea what he was wearing? It might have slowed down the rate of how he burned (If you want to make more magmanauts for reference)
You might actually be able to survive for a short while IRL because of the Leidenfrost effect (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leidenfrost_effect), assuming you can avoid the convection at the surface. The part I question is if you could even sink in liquid rock if you tried. That and the obvious not being able to see through it.

If you've fallen in magma in adv mode, you'd see that it actually takes quite a while to die even while not falling. The cause of death used to be blood loss before pulping was implemented. I don't know if you die any more quickly now.

You probably can't sink into magma without a lot of effort (you know, if you can actually survive the stuff), considering magma has a density more than twice of water and your body is about the same density as water.

Anyways, I love the training spear danger rooms and I don't build any forts without it. However, once a while I would accidentally draft a married female dwarf into the military. Babies and dangerous room doesn't mix well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pikachu17 on February 02, 2016, 10:18:22 am
my face-palm was when I noticed the date at the upper right corner of the main screen and status screen/
self, how did it take you so long to notice this?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on February 03, 2016, 12:59:19 am
Quote from: pikachu17 on February 02, 2016, 10:18:22 am
my face-palm was when I noticed the date at the upper right corner of the main screen and status screen/
self, how did it take you so long to notice this?
What do you mean by "main screen"? Units screen? Because it's not visible while you can see your fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Libash_Thunderhead on February 03, 2016, 01:06:07 am
I setup a big ammo stockpile in the barracks to collect scattered bolts. Almost everyone ran out to pick up bolts before they all stopped because they were interrupted by kea!
It was funny to watch though. All dwarves stood there staring. When a kea flew low, the mob rushed forward before it took off again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on February 03, 2016, 01:59:38 am
Quote from: pikachu17 on February 02, 2016, 10:18:22 am
my face-palm was when I noticed the date at the upper right corner of the main screen and status screen/
self, how did it take you so long to notice this?
Did you recently install DFHack?

Because DFHack is how you get the date showing all the time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pikachu17 on February 03, 2016, 10:16:29 am
Quote from: Bumber on February 03, 2016, 12:59:19 am
Quote from: pikachu17 on February 02, 2016, 10:18:22 am
my face-palm was when I noticed the date at the upper right corner of the main screen and status screen/
self, how did it take you so long to notice this?
What do you mean by "main screen"? Units screen? Because it's not visible while you can see your fort.
when I'm looking at my fort in the main view it's in the upper-right corner
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on February 03, 2016, 05:59:35 pm
Quote from: pikachu17 on February 03, 2016, 10:16:29 am
Quote from: Bumber on February 03, 2016, 12:59:19 am
Quote from: pikachu17 on February 02, 2016, 10:18:22 am
my face-palm was when I noticed the date at the upper right corner of the main screen and status screen/
self, how did it take you so long to notice this?
What do you mean by "main screen"? Units screen? Because it's not visible while you can see your fort.
when I'm looking at my fort in the main view it's in the upper-right corner
(http://i681.photobucket.com/albums/vv172/Bumber2009/Dwarf%20Fortress/DF_top.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dozebm Lolumzals on February 04, 2016, 12:00:40 am
It's DFHack.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on February 04, 2016, 01:42:24 am
Quote from: Japa on February 03, 2016, 01:59:38 am
Quote from: pikachu17 on February 02, 2016, 10:18:22 am
my face-palm was when I noticed the date at the upper right corner of the main screen and status screen/
self, how did it take you so long to notice this?
Did you recently install DFHack?

Because DFHack is how you get the date showing all the time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dozebm Lolumzals on February 04, 2016, 04:47:25 pm
Yeah, I saw. Bumber didn't seem to understand.

(Or maybe s/he did, and was showing the newb that vanilla doesn't have that. Facepalm - hey this is the right thread for that yay)

Either way, just confirming (because I looked through a list of DFHack capabilities) that yes, it IS a DFHack thing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LordPorkins on February 04, 2016, 04:48:53 pm
I.. may or may not have murder an elf.. who's name may or may not be quite famous.

IM SORRY I KILLED AN ELF NAMED CACAME WAAAAAAH
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FantasticDorf on February 04, 2016, 06:42:46 pm
A small facepalm for all the times i've embarked on a site without a pick looking for clay and then realising all the red around me is clay loam i can't harvest.

(Seriously, nerf clay it's super OP as a building material, some gamestart mud huts are gamebreaking, and you can literally do it for 10 embark points only with 1 piece of charcoal)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheBiggerFish on February 04, 2016, 06:45:43 pm
Er, Porkins, were they The Cacame or just a Cacame?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pikachu17 on February 05, 2016, 02:12:45 pm
Quote from: Japa on February 04, 2016, 01:42:24 am
Quote from: Japa on February 03, 2016, 01:59:38 am
Quote from: pikachu17 on February 02, 2016, 10:18:22 am
my face-palm was when I noticed the date at the upper right corner of the main screen and status screen/
self, how did it take you so long to notice this?
Did you recently install DFHack?

Because DFHack is how you get the date showing all the time.
ahhhhhh... that's it. that's why I didn't see it in the upper screen before!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FrisianDude on February 05, 2016, 05:47:41 pm
Quote from: TheBiggerFish on February 04, 2016, 06:45:43 pm
Er, Porkins, were they The Cacame or just a Cacame?
given the unlikeliness of Porkins having a world made like five actual years ago. Probably just A Cacame.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Libash_Thunderhead on February 06, 2016, 01:55:50 am
He was frustracted after a lack of decent meals for too long.
For Armok's sake, there were piles of roasts....why did you decide to eat raw mushrooms and complain about it???!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nullsrc on February 07, 2016, 06:29:18 pm
Quote from: Libash_Thunderhead on February 06, 2016, 01:55:50 am
He was frustracted after a lack of decent meals for too long.
For Armok's sake, there were piles of roasts....why did you decide to eat raw mushrooms and complain about it???!!!
To be fair, the roasts and biscuits and whatnot are all made out of the same stuff. I can't imagine mushroom roast being much better than mushroom tofu. He was simply being efficient and then complaining about it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Libash_Thunderhead on February 07, 2016, 08:42:54 pm
Quote from: Nullsrc on February 07, 2016, 06:29:18 pm
To be fair, the roasts and biscuits and whatnot are all made out of the same stuff. I can't imagine mushroom roast being much better than mushroom tofu. He was simply being efficient and then complaining about it.
:P I know. But I have all kinds of roasts.
I think the real problem is dwarves tend to fetch the nearest pile of food. So maybe next time I need to use separated piles for prepared and raw.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MoonyTheHuman on February 07, 2016, 08:58:27 pm
i feel stupid,  my fortress collapsed.... because of a god damn cat and a pressure plate >_>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on February 07, 2016, 09:27:40 pm
Quote from: MoonyTheHuman on February 07, 2016, 08:58:27 pm
i feel stupid,  my fortress collapsed.... because of a god damn cat and a pressure plate >_>

There is a story here, and I would like to know it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheBiggerFish on February 07, 2016, 11:15:24 pm
Quote from: SimRobert2001 on February 07, 2016, 09:27:40 pm
Quote from: MoonyTheHuman on February 07, 2016, 08:58:27 pm
i feel stupid,  my fortress collapsed.... because of a god damn cat and a pressure plate >_>
There is a story here, and I would like to know it.
Yes, please.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BlackMuffin on February 08, 2016, 04:01:35 pm
Quote from: MoonyTheHuman on February 07, 2016, 08:58:27 pm
i feel stupid,  my fortress collapsed.... because of a god damn cat and a pressure plate >_>
Next time make your self-destruct button according to these parameters:
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Player111444 on February 09, 2016, 12:33:29 pm
My Miner got stuck on a Tree.
He was one of the starting seven dorfs  >:(
When i found him he was heavily starting and was very very very... thirsty.
I told Urist McWoodChopper to chop tree down where Urist McStupidMinerStuckOnATree Was...
Urist McWoodChopperLazyFatty was Sleeping in his bedroom and i told his Cousin to do it.
Urist Not McWoodChopper chopped down tree where Urist McStupidMinerStuckOnATree Was...
A Falling log fell on the Miner's Stomach and bruising his guts!
Miner died from dehydration... (ﾟﾛﾟ〃).....
It was inevitable.....

Just to let you know that i was embarked in a Savage biome where there was giant flies around. for some reason the when dwarves see a giant fly on top of their heads they will chase the fly and they would climb a tree and get stuck there...

Lesson learned... Chop all the trees because the dwarves get stuck on trees because they are like cats that get stuck on trees on fireman stories in RL. even though it will make the elves mad. the elves can enjoy their magma bath when trapped on top of a tree...

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Reverie on February 09, 2016, 12:39:12 pm
Quote from: Player111444 on February 09, 2016, 12:33:29 pm
My Miner got stuck on a Tree.
He was one of the starting seven dorfs  >:(
When i found him he was heavily starting and was very very very... thirsty.
I told Urist McWoodChopper to chop tree down where Urist McStupidMinerStuckOnATree Was...
Urist McWoodChopperLazyFatty was Sleeping in his bedroom and i told his Cousin to do it.
Urist Not McWoodChopper chopped down tree where Urist McStupidMinerStuckOnATree Was...
A Falling log fell on the Miner's Stomach and bruising his guts!
Miner died from dehydration... (ﾟﾛﾟ〃).....
It was inevitable.....

Just to let you know that i was embarked in a Savage biome where there was giant flies around. for some reason the when dwarves see a giant fly on top of their heads they will chase the fly and they would climb a tree and get stuck there...

Lesson learned... Chop all the trees because the dwarves get stuck on trees because they are like cats that get stuck on trees on fireman stories in RL. even though it will make the elves mad. the elves can enjoy their magma bath when trapped on top of a tree...

This sounds like a twisted childrens' book.

   'Urist McWoodChopper, will you cut down this tree to save my friend?'
But Urist is sleeping, and can not cut down the tree right now. Maybe his cousin can help?
   'Will you cut down this tree to save my friend, cousin of Urist?'

...etc.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Player111444 on February 09, 2016, 12:51:48 pm
Quote from: Reverie on February 09, 2016, 12:39:12 pm
This sounds like a twisted childrens' book.

   'Urist McWoodChopper, will you cut down this tree to save my friend?'
But Urist is sleeping, and can not cut down the tree right now. Maybe his cousin can help?
   'Will you cut down this tree to save my friend, cousin of Urist?'

...etc.

I don't know why i'm smiling from this... but i was even dying from the inside from this too...

  'And so Urist McWoodChopper's Cousin Not Urist McNotWoodChopper chopped down the tree where Urist McDumbMiner was.
Urist McMiner fell down and a log falled into his body and hits his guts.
  'Urist McDumbMiner died from dehydration and Cousin Not Urist McNotWoodChopper walked away not noticing the dead dwarf behind him.
The end...

Also the tree where miner was stuck in was near a brook to add insult to injury. Did the falling log speed up his hunger and thirst meter when it fell on his guts?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Only !!SCIENCE!! will tell if bruising the guts will speed up the hunger and thirst quite alot to death...
 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FantasticDorf on February 09, 2016, 01:23:26 pm
Quote from: Reverie on February 09, 2016, 12:39:12 pm
Quote from: Player111444 on February 09, 2016, 12:33:29 pm
My Miner got stuck on a Tree.
He was one of the starting seven dorfs  >:(
When i found him he was heavily starting and was very very very... thirsty.
I told Urist McWoodChopper to chop tree down where Urist McStupidMinerStuckOnATree Was...
Urist McWoodChopperLazyFatty was Sleeping in his bedroom and i told his Cousin to do it.
Urist Not McWoodChopper chopped down tree where Urist McStupidMinerStuckOnATree Was...
A Falling log fell on the Miner's Stomach and bruising his guts!
Miner died from dehydration... (ﾟﾛﾟ〃).....
It was inevitable.....

Just to let you know that i was embarked in a Savage biome where there was giant flies around. for some reason the when dwarves see a giant fly on top of their heads they will chase the fly and they would climb a tree and get stuck there...

Lesson learned... Chop all the trees because the dwarves get stuck on trees because they are like cats that get stuck on trees on fireman stories in RL. even though it will make the elves mad. the elves can enjoy their magma bath when trapped on top of a tree...

This sounds like a twisted childrens' book.

   'Urist McWoodChopper, will you cut down this tree to save my friend?'
But Urist is sleeping, and can not cut down the tree right now. Maybe his cousin can help?
   'Will you cut down this tree to save my friend, cousin of Urist?'

...etc.

... Reluctantly the lazy grumpy goblin cut down the tree.
Down the last fruit tree in the forest fell.
Everyone in the fortress dehydrated not soon after.
'Where has all the drink gone?'
And the smart little dwarves who went to drink from the river were eaten by hungry carp.
SNAP.
SCREAMING.
SNAP.
SILENCE.
The grumpy goblin was finally happy.

THE END

The moral of the story kids is that one dwarf's life does not matter when a fortress is at stake.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: cochramd on February 09, 2016, 02:08:43 pm
Quote from: FantasticDorf on February 09, 2016, 01:23:26 pm
Quote from: Reverie on February 09, 2016, 12:39:12 pm
Quote from: Player111444 on February 09, 2016, 12:33:29 pm
My Miner got stuck on a Tree.
He was one of the starting seven dorfs  >:(
When i found him he was heavily starting and was very very very... thirsty.
I told Urist McWoodChopper to chop tree down where Urist McStupidMinerStuckOnATree Was...
Urist McWoodChopperLazyFatty was Sleeping in his bedroom and i told his Cousin to do it.
Urist Not McWoodChopper chopped down tree where Urist McStupidMinerStuckOnATree Was...
A Falling log fell on the Miner's Stomach and bruising his guts!
Miner died from dehydration... (ﾟﾛﾟ〃).....
It was inevitable.....

Just to let you know that i was embarked in a Savage biome where there was giant flies around. for some reason the when dwarves see a giant fly on top of their heads they will chase the fly and they would climb a tree and get stuck there...

Lesson learned... Chop all the trees because the dwarves get stuck on trees because they are like cats that get stuck on trees on fireman stories in RL. even though it will make the elves mad. the elves can enjoy their magma bath when trapped on top of a tree...

This sounds like a twisted childrens' book.

   'Urist McWoodChopper, will you cut down this tree to save my friend?'
But Urist is sleeping, and can not cut down the tree right now. Maybe his cousin can help?
   'Will you cut down this tree to save my friend, cousin of Urist?'

...etc.

... Reluctantly the lazy grumpy goblin cut down the tree.
Down the last fruit tree in the forest fell.
Everyone in the fortress dehydrated not soon after.
'Where has all the drink gone?'
And the smart little dwarves who went to drink from the river were eaten by hungry carp.
SNAP.
SCREAMING.
SNAP.
SILENCE.
The grumpy goblin was finally happy.

THE END

The moral of the story kids is that one dwarf's life does not matter when a fortress is at stake. don't rely on fruit trees as a source of food and/or booze.
That's what I took from it anyways. Though it does raise the question: what embark contains fruit-bearing trees but no crops or garden plants that can be made into booze?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Player111444 on February 09, 2016, 06:07:00 pm
Quote from: cochramd on February 09, 2016, 02:08:43 pm
Quote from: FantasticDorf on February 09, 2016, 01:23:26 pm
Quote from: Reverie on February 09, 2016, 12:39:12 pm
Quote from: Player111444 on February 09, 2016, 12:33:29 pm
My Miner got stuck on a Tree.
He was one of the starting seven dorfs  >:(
When i found him he was heavily starting and was very very very... thirsty.
I told Urist McWoodChopper to chop tree down where Urist McStupidMinerStuckOnATree Was...
Urist McWoodChopperLazyFatty was Sleeping in his bedroom and i told his Cousin to do it.
Urist Not McWoodChopper chopped down tree where Urist McStupidMinerStuckOnATree Was...
A Falling log fell on the Miner's Stomach and bruising his guts!
Miner died from dehydration... (ﾟﾛﾟ〃).....
It was inevitable.....

Just to let you know that i was embarked in a Savage biome where there was giant flies around. for some reason the when dwarves see a giant fly on top of their heads they will chase the fly and they would climb a tree and get stuck there...

Lesson learned... Chop all the trees because the dwarves get stuck on trees because they are like cats that get stuck on trees on fireman stories in RL. even though it will make the elves mad. the elves can enjoy their magma bath when trapped on top of a tree...

This sounds like a twisted childrens' book.

   'Urist McWoodChopper, will you cut down this tree to save my friend?'
But Urist is sleeping, and can not cut down the tree right now. Maybe his cousin can help?
   'Will you cut down this tree to save my friend, cousin of Urist?'

...etc.

... Reluctantly the lazy grumpy goblin cut down the tree.
Down the last fruit tree in the forest fell.
Everyone in the fortress dehydrated not soon after.
'Where has all the drink gone?'
And the smart little dwarves who went to drink from the river were eaten by hungry carp.
SNAP.
SCREAMING.
SNAP.
SILENCE.
The grumpy goblin was finally happy.

THE END

The moral of the story kids is that one dwarf's life does not matter when a fortress is at stake. don't rely on fruit trees as a source of food and/or booze.
That's what I took from it anyways. Though it does raise the question: what embark contains fruit-bearing trees but no crops or garden plants that can be made into booze?

Armok... What have i done... why im i still smiling from this? you people are insane.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Oh yeah another face palm... different fortress in a different save my militia commander got stuck on top of a tree for no reason. -.-
Spoiler: The Path (click to show/hide)

The militia commander was a woodcutter though i didn't see her anywhere until a message popped saying that Logem was found dead. Dehydrated. Zoomed in to location. On top of a freaking tree! *facedesk*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FantasticDorf on February 09, 2016, 08:46:55 pm
Quote from: cochramd on February 09, 2016, 02:08:43 pm
That's what I took from it anyways. Though it does raise the question: what embark contains fruit-bearing trees but no crops or garden plants that can be made into booze?

Perhaps it was a quasi-tundra glacial embark (kids love polar bears) with a few fruit trees that had to be cut down for bypassing a saltwater aquifer, and this all happened during the construction process (or a very inexperienced player) with no cranberries (or means to irrigate) on embark because...
Quote
MLG CAVERN CAMPING STRATS RUSH SITE B, NOSCOPE THAT POLAR BEAR 360% MAD CROSSBOW AWP SKILLS, GIT GUD EAT HIS DIVINE DORITO FLESH AND DRINK HIS MOUNTAINDEW BLOOD
Isn't that what kids like nowadays if the media is to be believed?

Also giant icelandic borehole carp in question  8)

Spoiler: what really happened that the dwarven government doesn't want you to see (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: cochramd on February 10, 2016, 01:10:35 pm
Quote from: FantasticDorf on February 09, 2016, 08:46:55 pm
Quote from: cochramd on February 09, 2016, 02:08:43 pm
That's what I took from it anyways. Though it does raise the question: what embark contains fruit-bearing trees but no crops or garden plants that can be made into booze?

Perhaps it was a quasi-tundra glacial embark (kids love polar bears) with a few fruit trees that had to be cut down for bypassing a saltwater aquifer, and this all happened during the construction process (or a very inexperienced player) with no cranberries (or means to irrigate) on embark because...
Quote
MLG CAVERN CAMPING STRATS RUSH SITE B, NOSCOPE THAT POLAR BEAR 360% MAD CROSSBOW AWP SKILLS, GIT GUD EAT HIS DIVINE DORITO FLESH AND DRINK HIS MOUNTAINDEW BLOOD
Isn't that what kids like nowadays if the media is to be believed?

Also giant icelandic borehole carp in question  8)
A tundra embark with no bilberries, blueberries or cranberries!? Can such a horrible thing even exist!? And this still doesn't explain what biome with no other brewable plants the fruit trees came from.....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Libash_Thunderhead on February 10, 2016, 08:43:31 pm
A cave crocodile wandered out of the cavern and attacked my dwarves. The dwarves knocked it out cold in the tavern and continued their socializing. Occasionally the crocodile came to and the dwarves knocked it out again. They refused to do anything useful due to job interruption...
So I reloaded an old save to see if I could get around the problem.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SOLDIER First on February 10, 2016, 08:47:06 pm
You got rid of the best possible dwarven entertainment!?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: khearn on February 10, 2016, 09:25:10 pm
What useful things did you expect them to do while socializing in a tavern?

Learning to fight?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NESgamer190 on February 11, 2016, 10:34:39 am
I had overlooked the leatherworking industry...  d'oh!  Hopefully, I can get a hide for the moody dwarf in time!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FantasticDorf on February 11, 2016, 05:01:32 pm
Quote from: Libash_Thunderhead on February 10, 2016, 08:43:31 pm
A cave crocodile wandered out of the cavern and attacked my dwarves. The dwarves knocked it out cold in the tavern and continued their socializing. Occasionally the crocodile came to and the dwarves knocked it out again. They refused to do anything useful due to job interruption...
So I reloaded an old save to see if I could get around the problem.

Dwarves only kill creatures in self defence if they have a weapon worthy to do it in hand and they lose aggravation when the animal is severely injured/afraid (war dogs do this too) unless it keeps attacking them in line with starting a bar brawl or something. I can guess its relatable to the 'kill neutral:Only mandated' ethic.

All the macaques that have gotten away with a beating and continued to steal makes my blood boil. I always have a militiadwarf ready early on to finish the job once the animal is unconcious.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MobRules on February 13, 2016, 01:56:29 pm
Started my first .6 world. My civ only had a steel anvil, not iron, so I removed it from the embark, figuring I can buy one when the caravan comes in the fall. Not sure how this happened, but apparently I managed to unselect pickaxes as well.

No anvil AND no pickaxes.

OK... at least I have an axe, a bunch of coke, and one piece of stone. So I have glass, clay, and wood with which to build a surface-city until the caravan comes and I can begin the fortress proper.

I'm imagining my starting seven yelling at each other over who's responsibility it was to pack the pickaxes, and who's fault this is.

Edit: dang it, also means no mechanisms.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Insert_Gnome_Here on February 13, 2016, 04:43:18 pm
Learnt the hard way to be wary of automining near the edge of caverns. Unless you're careful, they'll dig right into the cavern.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The rock wall has since been added, blocking up the gap, but not before an FB killed 19 or so of my dwarves while I wasn't looking.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AzyWng on February 14, 2016, 04:36:04 pm
Quote from: Insert_Gnome_Here on February 13, 2016, 04:43:18 pm
Learnt the hard way to be wary of automining near the edge of caverns. Unless you're careful, they'll dig right into the cavern.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The rock wall has since been added, blocking up the gap, but not before an FB killed 19 or so of my dwarves while I wasn't looking.

I, on the other hand, have been getting an awful lot of migrants (my fortress is at about 200 right now, give or take twenty or so) while still failing to have breached a cavern.

Ah well.

Finally decided to update DF to .42.06, I've been having a real big trouble trying to remember the names of my notable dwarves so I can get add them to the engravings.

In fact, I've been having trouble managing my dwarves in general (Nothing's died yet, it's just that I'm having trouble assigning designations based on skills and such).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hinric on February 14, 2016, 10:43:54 pm
"Cilob kthagerib, Stonecrafter has created Shovethotung, a raw adamantine toy boat!"

Edit: Immediately followed by several bards taking off after some kobolds out of the tavern... moments before the drawbridge was raised up in response to the incoming siege.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheBiggerFish on February 15, 2016, 01:31:48 am
Flying bards?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Detros on February 15, 2016, 11:08:48 am
Quote from: TheBiggerFish on February 15, 2016, 01:31:48 am
Flying bards?
Go to the new fort, they said. Calm countryside, they said. And now it's raining cats and dogs yesterday, raining kobolds and bards today ...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on February 15, 2016, 11:14:23 am
Quote from: TheBiggerFish on February 15, 2016, 01:31:48 am
Flying bards?
A flock of bards?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MinerMan60101 on February 15, 2016, 09:14:54 pm
Whilst building a well one of my 2 Legendary miners fell down. Took me a while to find him, as the pool was two layers deep.
When i finally managed to put a slab for him, the instant before a dwarf placed it he became a ghost.
  -a little mad that my flashing happy face turned into an @
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hun on February 16, 2016, 07:21:27 pm
I had a werecoyote dwarf locked in small room (for the case I decide to do some SCIENCE with him). Then once I decided to do something with him and remove constructed wall. Shortly I completely forgot about that, distracted by something else. At the next full moon, he of course bit some dwarfs, and I failed again - didn't track everyone he bit. Long story short, finally I had several guests in tavern infected.

At this point, it became too annoying to manage situation on individual level (because I couldn't directly give orders to visitors), so I just set my military ready and grabbed some popcorn.

It have taken about 3 full moons for situation to be resolved. Every single visitor had deceased, and around 40% of my citizens as well (total population dropped to around 30 dwarfs), but infection gone with all its carriers. The tavern looked terrifying: every tile of floor was covered by blood, and a couple decades of corpses were there as well.
If I would play .34 or earlier version, this most likely would end with tantrum spiral and the end of the fortress. So, I'm kinda lucky to be able to continue play my fortress.

Also, funny fact is that I found vampire among dead visitors (I didn't know I had one). Poor naive guy, he maybe thought it's gonna be a resort for him... he didn't even had time to drain anyone (I hadn't noticed any accidents by the time of blood slaughter, at least).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FantasticDorf on February 16, 2016, 08:11:38 pm
I forgot to seal up the 2 z layer high caverns properly, meaning that one of my citizens got mauled by bats that flew over my walls and traps, quite a notorious bat fellow it struck down my mechanic and presumably beat up a troll to within a inch of its life.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on February 21, 2016, 01:25:51 am
Started digging a waterwheel waterway in the caverns to power a pump stack. Miner ended up in the trench he was channeling out and got waterboarded. Instead of walking back up the slope he was next to, he climbs up the sheer wall on the other side of the channel, climbs *away* from the dry ground, and ends up on a fungiwood. Then he jumps across the lake to another nearby fungiwood, misses, lands in the lake. Climbs up the second fungiwood and gets stuck, surrounded by water. I order a bridge built over to him, but all my other dwarves are busy praying so the parkour master eventually gets bored and finds his own way down when I'm not watching.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dwarfy McOwen on February 22, 2016, 03:02:53 pm
Just a "lil" one. Crap load of dirt hovering above my brand-new outdoor tavern that housed roughly 26-27ish permanent residents (8-9 or so were skilled mercenaries so I had them in their very own squad with top'o'the line equipment) so naturally I wanted to treat my guests well and stop that dirt from dripping into their tea and crumpets/biscuits (Toady NEEDS to add flipping tea to the game... Tea is life). So I began chanelling and then channeled out that last block but woops... White sand can apparently fall through 4 floors of bauxite and kill everyone within. Including another civilization's noble. They were NOT too happy about that... Flipping hippies set their Lionators on me
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on February 23, 2016, 02:37:20 am
Quote from: Dwarfy McOwen on February 22, 2016, 03:02:53 pm
(Toady NEEDS to add flipping tea to the game... Tea is life)

Agree. Fully.
The plant is there, we just need to figure out a way to make tea out of the leaves. I guess we could mod in a new reaction, taking tea leaves (which we need the dorfs to harvest), water, and a mug (or a barrel...). Getting the leaves to be picked is more work though (I guess, have not looked at the raws of the plants). I know what I will try to do at home tonight.

Edit: And to keep with the subject...
I finally got around to start piercing the aquifer (5 z levels...) in a second location to make an entrance to a guard tower. Except... I drowned three miners. The first location was totally easy, but this one... I basically did channel out a bit too much, and my pumps could not really cope with it. Result: dorfs being pushed around and into the channels for the next z level that I was installing grates above.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kaljapelto on February 24, 2016, 07:55:38 am
Built a ballista without knowing how it works.
Oh boy was it a mistake. I set it to fire on will, which apparently makes it shoot at anything. Yes, anything.
My pasture was in front of it. So was my best melee squad. It started shooting. Livestock got slaughterekt.
A few civilians too. Luckily the soldiers are, well, my best so they blocked the bolts. Only one axeman got slightly injured.

Moral of the story, always look up how things work before trying them out.
Fucking dwarven magic auto-turrets from hell.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dozebm Lolumzals on February 26, 2016, 04:24:20 pm
But when you want them to work on goblins, they do nothing.

(BTW, "fire on will" means "fire the ballista in its direction, immediately". Not "fire once you see a hostile come". In an ironic twist, they'll actually stop firing and run away when they see a hostile, even if it's not able to get them, and even if they're off-duty legendary militiadwarves. "I'm a civilian, so I run away from bad guys, right?" Idiots.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AzyWng on February 27, 2016, 10:18:17 am
Quote from: jwoodward48df on February 26, 2016, 04:24:20 pm
But when you want them to work on goblins, they do nothing.

(BTW, "fire on will" means "fire the ballista in its direction, immediately". Not "fire once you see a hostile come". In an ironic twist, they'll actually stop firing and run away when they see a hostile, even if it's not able to get them, and even if they're off-duty legendary militiadwarves. "I'm a civilian, so I run away from bad guys, right?" Idiots.)

How the hell do you even get the damn things to work anyway?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untelligent on February 27, 2016, 11:25:44 am
There's likely some range that's close enough to hit goblins at but far enough away to not flee their post in terror.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on February 27, 2016, 11:48:55 am
Quote from: Untelligent on February 27, 2016, 11:25:44 am
There's likely some range that's close enough to hit goblins at but far enough away to not flee their post in terror.

Yea, anywhere from 250 squares, to about 20, 30, iirc. Butvits so innacurate it still borders on useless.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AzyWng on February 27, 2016, 02:15:13 pm
Quote from: SimRobert2001 on February 27, 2016, 11:48:55 am
Quote from: Untelligent on February 27, 2016, 11:25:44 am
There's likely some range that's close enough to hit goblins at but far enough away to not flee their post in terror.

Yea, anywhere from 250 squares, to about 20, 30, iirc. Butvits so innacurate it still borders on useless.

So seige weapons are currently crap?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: sirdanilot on February 27, 2016, 02:44:41 pm
Quote from: AzyWng on February 27, 2016, 02:15:13 pm
Quote from: SimRobert2001 on February 27, 2016, 11:48:55 am
Quote from: Untelligent on February 27, 2016, 11:25:44 am
There's likely some range that's close enough to hit goblins at but far enough away to not flee their post in terror.

Yea, anywhere from 250 squares, to about 20, 30, iirc. Butvits so innacurate it still borders on useless.

So seige weapons are currently crap?

Yes. It requires very careful design to make them remotely useable. I.e. a long, straight, narrow pathway to your fortress. If a 100 gobs are funnling through a 2 tiles wide tunnel then yes the siege weapons will probably kill a couple in the seconds it takes them to walk from where they enter to within sight of your siege dorfs.

IMO siege operation should be a military action and not a civilian action.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: cochramd on February 28, 2016, 11:21:12 am
Quote from: AzyWng on February 27, 2016, 02:15:13 pm
Quote from: SimRobert2001 on February 27, 2016, 11:48:55 am
Quote from: Untelligent on February 27, 2016, 11:25:44 am
There's likely some range that's close enough to hit goblins at but far enough away to not flee their post in terror.

Yea, anywhere from 250 squares, to about 20, 30, iirc. Butvits so innacurate it still borders on useless.

So seige weapons are currently crap?
Not if you use them on large, dense crowds of goblins and their friends.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SimRobert2001 on February 28, 2016, 12:19:31 pm
Quote from: cochramd on February 28, 2016, 11:21:12 am
Quote from: AzyWng on February 27, 2016, 02:15:13 pm
Quote from: SimRobert2001 on February 27, 2016, 11:48:55 am
Quote from: Untelligent on February 27, 2016, 11:25:44 am
There's likely some range that's close enough to hit goblins at but far enough away to not flee their post in terror.

Yea, anywhere from 250 squares, to about 20, 30, iirc. Butvits so innacurate it still borders on useless.

So seige weapons are currently crap?
Not if you use them on large, dense crowds of goblins and their friends.

Yea, but to get those types of groups, you have to plan it, or be lucky.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Saiko Kila on March 04, 2016, 01:31:07 pm
You can funnel the goblins through a maze of fortifications, or rather a zig-zagging path. Ballista arrows fly through it. But if you have military they are probably better used against more dangerous opponents, where you don't want your soldiers to face them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: chesse20 on March 05, 2016, 09:21:10 pm
messed around with the properites of diorite, making it weapon grade and powerful as bronze, but then also causing to sublmate when mined/exposed to air, thus destroying 3/4 of my workshops instantly
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Random_Dragon on March 07, 2016, 12:44:56 am
...why, Solon. Why are you walking PAST the stone stockpile to go use stone that's several levels below it? Is it because your dwarven wine-addled brain looks at the mined-out section being a few levels below the workshop, ignoring just how long of a walk it is? :V
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: snow dwarf on March 11, 2016, 08:51:24 am
Had a face palm just a second a go. Messed around tileset on my save with the best fortress I ever had and was about to get my first siege ever and boom... something went wrong and needed to delete dwarf fortress  :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( SO SAD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ozarck on March 11, 2016, 07:06:30 pm
ouch. Delete Dwarf Fortress? That's unpossible.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: snow dwarf on March 12, 2016, 01:26:07 am
Quote from: Ozarck on March 11, 2016, 07:06:30 pm
ouch. Delete Dwarf Fortress? That's unpossible.
Well I did something to the game and everything went crazy and I couldn't repair it maybe the game was always crazy but I was playing it wrong. :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Random_Dragon on March 12, 2016, 11:08:29 am
And that is why I always back up my raw folder before I start modding. :V
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FortunaDraken on March 12, 2016, 09:24:57 pm
Very minor facepalm, but was trying to build the majestic castle to guard my fort's entrance since I went straight down rather than into a mountain. Building the walls out of microline blocks, planning to make it so the second floor overhangs so nothing can climb it, so I don't need to roof it off and can build a statue garden outside to combat cave adaptation.

I wanted to make the floors that weren't microline white, so originally tried diorite, mixing it up with dolomite as I usually do. Diorite is the black-like colour on Spacefox graphics. Facepalm, shrug, tried gneiss. Light grey, acceptable.

Only notice that diorite and gneiss are NOT the same colour after building some floors. Facepalm. Time to designate a bunch of flooring to be ripped up...things must be UNIFORM.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Libash_Thunderhead on March 14, 2016, 09:38:16 am
Quote from: FortunaDraken on March 12, 2016, 09:24:57 pm
...things must be UNIFORM.
I once built a castle with mixed metal bars and color stones.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on March 14, 2016, 04:32:07 pm
Quote from: Libash_Thunderhead on March 14, 2016, 09:38:16 am
Quote from: FortunaDraken on March 12, 2016, 09:24:57 pm
...things must be UNIFORM.
I once built a castle with mixed metal bars and color stones.
A very large area (about 30x30) of my fort is made of slate and orthoclase. Said area is suspended near the top of the first cavern layer... and very poorly supported. A single cave-in could send the whole floor plummeting several z-levels.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Random_Dragon on March 14, 2016, 05:10:38 pm
Quote from: Bumber on March 14, 2016, 04:32:07 pm
A single cave-in could send the whole floor plummeting several z-levels.

Dooo iiiit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on March 16, 2016, 02:01:50 pm
Quote from: Libash_Thunderhead on March 14, 2016, 09:38:16 am
I once built a castle with mixed metal bars and color stones.
You monster.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: koduesp on March 17, 2016, 10:54:50 am
Oh boy. I'll just leave this here.

(http://i65.tinypic.com/jhsk1j.jpg)

And a link to the picture (http://i65.tinypic.com/jhsk1j.jpg).

Also, he was on friendly terms with Edi.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on March 17, 2016, 01:58:43 pm
It says further up that he saw some dwarves die, so I think that skunk was an actual skunk.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Starweaver396 on March 19, 2016, 06:47:21 pm
Woodcutters... Jungle... Don't mix. I've had 5 injuries and 1 death to falling logs, all across the same two woodcutters.

I know why dwarves prefer the mountains.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kumquat on March 19, 2016, 07:21:23 pm
I wondered why my dorfs were not hauling "empty" barrels from depot to a dedicated wooden barrel stockpile...

So much frozen blood and ichor. Also a barrel with frozen gremlin sweat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: cochramd on March 19, 2016, 08:42:34 pm
Quote from: Starweaver396 on March 19, 2016, 06:47:21 pm
Woodcutters... Jungle... Don't mix. I've had 5 injuries and 1 death to falling logs, all across the same two woodcutters.

I know why dwarves prefer the mountains.
Try just using one woodcutter and doing a clearcutting at the beginning of the game. Woodcutters are never harmed by the trees that they fell, after all.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Starweaver396 on March 19, 2016, 11:51:11 pm
I have a different experience. The issue being that the logs from one tree get stuck in the next one.

And everyone who isn't cutting trees is climbing them and then dying of dehydration. *sigh*
(Or worse, climbing trees that I've already cut down and floating in midair until they fall asleep and crash to the ground.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Random_Dragon on March 20, 2016, 10:42:55 am
Amusingly, I've only had one shmuck get stuck in a tree. Who also died because I didn't expect it. Of course it would be a kobold this time. :V
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Saiko Kila on March 23, 2016, 03:56:34 am
I recently got one.

I settled in a "warm climate" area, savannah and a coast, but was surprised that pools and ocean freeze during winter. Two months or less, but still. I even get snowstorms.

When the zombies came in winter, I locked down the site and prepared a mix of traps and a bolt door. The ocean froze in the meantime, and zombies started walking over it. The ice thawed and one zombie plunged to the bottom (together with tons of ammo the zombies were shooting everywhere). By summer I prepared the traps, opened the bolt door and cleared the zombies. Except that one at the bottom who wasn't attracted to my bait. Face palm moment was when I realised that out of the three ocean levels, only two lowest had the ramps. The zombie couldn't get out! Apparently, it is also impossible for it to climb underwater, but I wasn't considering it, I just "saw" the ramps which weren't there.

It was also a face palm because up until then I was sure that my dwarves, trained swimmers, would have no problems with getting out of water in case a wave swept them in. My entry is on the beach.

EDIT: Maybe if the ramps were there originally, he would get out. Or maybe not. Digging new ramps didn't help. To get rid of siege I have to wait to winter, and hope the besieger will be encased in ice. He doesn't even bother my fisherdwarves. Whole year of trade ruined, damn him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Krasimir Othtamun on March 25, 2016, 02:37:54 pm
My most Face-Palm moment i've had in Dwarf Fortress was a very recent one. I was just designing my fortress down below, when i received a Announcement: "Urist McFisher has been found dead: dehydration". I thought "What the hell? I have a Profficient Brewer producing Drinks on Repeat? How did that happen?"
Turns out... That he died of Thirst because he climbed a tree and couldn't get down.

There is no palm big enough to express my frustration. .
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Random_Dragon on March 25, 2016, 02:44:41 pm
Quote from: Krasimir Othtamun on March 25, 2016, 02:37:54 pm
My most Face-Palm moment i've had in Dwarf Fortress was a very recent one. I was just designing my fortress down below, when i received a Announcement: "Urist McFisher has been found dead: dehydration". I thought "What the hell? I have a Profficient Brewer producing Drinks on Repeat? How did that happen?"
Turns out... That he died of Thirst because he climbed a tree and couldn't get down.

There is no palm big enough to express my frustration. .

I had exactly that moment not long ago, when playing as kobolds. My first woodcutter and shaman, got up in a tree and I never found out until I got the noticed that he'd been missing for a week.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: King Kitteh on March 28, 2016, 02:36:32 am
I like to keep my forts open to the caverns with a line of cage traps set to catch critters that wander too close, (I've caught many a crundle with them).
For safety measures I have a draw bridge set so I can quickly shut off access incase something trapavoid comes.

Well, suddenly I got an announcement, a forgotten beast had arrived. It was a giant feathered fire-breathing crab! My fort wasn't ready for this, so I quickly set the lever to be pulled with "Do it now!".

The crab was quickly closing in, a clothier just barely made it back across the bridge as a miner flicks the switch. We should be safe now, the beast was too far away.

But then... Wait. Why isn't anything happening? The bridge isn't moving! Why didn't it work?! And then I realized.... I forgot to connect the bridge with the lever.

That night the giant crab feasted on roast dwarf... *shakes head in shame*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: cochramd on March 28, 2016, 11:58:06 am
Quote from: King Kitteh on March 28, 2016, 02:36:32 am
I like to keep my forts open to the caverns with a line of cage traps set to catch critters that wander too close, (I've caught many a crundle with them).
For safety measures I have a draw bridge set so I can quickly shut off access incase something trapavoid comes.

Well, suddenly I got an announcement, a forgotten beast had arrived. It was a giant feathered fire-breathing crab! My fort wasn't ready for this, so I quickly set the lever to be pulled with "Do it now!".

The crab was quickly closing in, a clothier just barely made it back across the bridge as a miner flicks the switch. We should be safe now, the beast was too far away.

But then... Wait. Why isn't anything happening? The bridge isn't moving! Why didn't it work?! And then I realized.... I forgot to connect the bridge with the lever.

That night the giant crab feasted on roast dwarf... *shakes head in shame*
And that is why you link the bridge before even breaching the cavern.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MobRules on March 29, 2016, 06:06:36 pm
Quote from: King Kitteh on March 28, 2016, 02:36:32 am
I like to keep my forts open to the caverns with a line of cage traps set to catch critters that wander too close, (I've caught many a crundle with them).
For safety measures I have a draw bridge set so I can quickly shut off access incase something trapavoid comes.

Well, suddenly I got an announcement, a forgotten beast had arrived. It was a giant feathered fire-breathing crab! My fort wasn't ready for this, so I quickly set the lever to be pulled with "Do it now!".

The crab was quickly closing in, a clothier just barely made it back across the bridge as a miner flicks the switch. We should be safe now, the beast was too far away.

But then... Wait. Why isn't anything happening? The bridge isn't moving! Why didn't it work?! And then I realized.... I forgot to connect the bridge with the lever.

That night the giant crab feasted on roast dwarf... *shakes head in shame*

I had a similar issue once. In my case, I HAD linked the bridge to the lever. But I had left it at the default "retracts" setting, so all pulling the lever did was make the bridge vanish *facepalm*.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: khearn on March 30, 2016, 09:53:42 am
Quote from: MobRules on March 29, 2016, 06:06:36 pm

I had a similar issue once. In my case, I HAD linked the bridge to the lever. But I had left it at the default "retracts" setting, so all pulling the lever did was make the bridge vanish *facepalm*.

This why I always queue up a "pull the lever" right after the "link lever to bridge". So I can make sure it does what I want. On very rare occasions I lose a random dwarf who is on the bridge when it raises, but now I never lose an entire for due to a bridge retracting when I wanted it to raise.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ezekhiel2517 on March 31, 2016, 09:15:49 am
after days and days of hard work and micromanagement I finally carved my fortress among magma pools. Then one day I carelessly designate some digging near some magma pools for more room. Went somewhere else to build something. Later I get back to see how think where down there... an entire golden floored z level, with noble dwarfs rooms, stockples and a magnificent militia training center was melted into oblivion, magma furnaces working on the upper z level went completely useless, etc etc. Lots of fun!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: slinger342 on April 01, 2016, 11:32:37 am
I'm pretty sure this has happened to everyone at sometime. I decided to try and build my first well and built a storage for the water under it and channeled out a pathway for the water to flow from the river to it. I had a floodgates set up and a switch connected and made sure it worked. When I had the dwarf channel out the last wall and flow began, I just decided to wait until it got kind of full, like 5 or 6. When I decided to shut the floodgate, it didn't close, probably because of the water pressure or something, (not too sure, I'm not a super experienced player) and water began gushing into the dinning hall where I designated everyone to idle. *facepalm*

Only the good swimmers survived.

There were a few.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Random_Dragon on April 01, 2016, 11:43:16 am
Quote from: slinger342 on April 01, 2016, 11:32:37 am
I'm pretty sure this has happened to everyone at sometime. I decided to try and build my first well and built a storage for the water under it and channeled out a pathway for the water to flow from the river to it. I had a floodgates set up and a switch connected and made sure it worked. When I had the dwarf channel out the last wall and flow began, I just decided to wait until it got kind of full, like 5 or 6. When I decided to shut the floodgate, it didn't close, probably because of the water pressure or something, (not too sure, I'm not a super experienced player) and water began gushing into the dinning hall where I designated everyone to idle. *facepalm*

Only the good swimmers survived.

There were a few.

There are two kinds of DF players: those who have flooded their fort by mistake, and those who WILL flood their fort by mistake. XP

But yeah, drawbridges are less finicky (floodgates will fail to close if a single item or creature is in its space), and pressure will flow up unless you use diagonal spaces to bug it out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gentlefish on April 01, 2016, 03:19:21 pm
I never thought of the "diagonal" depressurizer as a bug. I think of it more as a "fast leak" that allows water through but isn't wide enough to exert the pressure of the water behind it. Real useful for an ever-full well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Random_Dragon on April 01, 2016, 03:47:34 pm
I'm not sure if I'd call it a bug, an exploit, or what. But yeah, pressure is weird and the solution is even weirder.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Droggarth on April 02, 2016, 06:54:12 am
Well, to the rest of you this isn't an issue as I'm perfectly aware that Fortress Mode is the main part of DF.

Thing is I finally started a short Fortress Mode test.. aaand, nope, just.. no. What made me facepalm so to speak is the fact just like with all other games like Timber and Stone, Settlers 3, Cultures 1 and 2, games that basically involve giving orders and then waiting and watching who knows how friggin' long. Not my cup of tea. Sorry

Seriously though, all I need as far as DF's fortress mode goes is a creative mode to build the perfect building for my adventurer because I'm a very impatient guy with some other nasty mental disorders making it hard for me to cope with a lot of things and even the tiniest of details can sometimes make me go almost apeshit.

Bleh, just needed to get this out of my system.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: King Kitteh on April 02, 2016, 07:08:09 am
Don't worry, soon you can build stuff in adventure mode by getting some slaves COMPANIONS. And then ordering them to build stuff... While you wait... And... Oh... Right.

Well you can't have everything can you.  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Droggarth on April 02, 2016, 07:48:51 am
Actually, at least in adventure mode when waiting I'm still possessing the body of my adventurer and thus it won't feel like I'm some sort of bodyless entity as I can move and hack off anyone's head if I get too frustrated.

Quote from: King Kitteh on April 02, 2016, 07:08:09 am
Well you can't have everything can you.  :P

I loathe it to the point of depression and rage.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KillzEmAllGod on April 04, 2016, 01:56:30 am
While looking at D for dwarf stuff on the wiki yesterday came across clutter... I did stop using stockpiles for somethings.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on April 06, 2016, 06:52:51 am
3rd month after embark: my farmer is reported missing.
he was then found dead by dehydration on the treetop.

the weremonitor killed 3 dwarves and a dwarven child died.
6 of my dorfs stand around the rotting corpse of the child and refuse to do anything, while some other repeatedly try to handle animals and cancel the job immediately because the animals are "inaccessable".
only a few dorfs seem to still care for eating or drinking, while that group just stands there unti lthey starve and die by dehydration.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DesuChan on April 08, 2016, 03:18:50 pm
I don't have to much trouble with fortress mode, in terms of the basics anyway, but all my Adventure mode ventures end with me dying to a river cause I can't help but jump over them cause impatience. Which always ends with me dead, or maimed and then dead  :P My favorite death was swimming across a three tile river, made to the other side, and then died to a flash freeze 8)

My biggest screw up in Fortress mode would be attempting a high savage and evil embark after not playing the game for months and there was a new update. I didn't even last a season ;D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jerry The Hellbound on April 10, 2016, 12:57:28 pm
Deleting the mod you were working on for like 3 days straight.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 123nick on April 10, 2016, 08:35:07 pm
Quote from: Jerry The Hellbound on April 10, 2016, 12:57:28 pm
Deleting the mod you were working on for like 3 days straight.

omg that must be horrible  :'( what mod was it? can u ever recover it?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on April 10, 2016, 08:40:54 pm
designign a ramp/staircase and missing that the support for the ramps is being mined away and having to rebuild it over 10 levels.
luckily the miners could get out before starving.

Quote from: Jerry The Hellbound on April 10, 2016, 12:57:28 pm
Deleting the mod you were working on for like 3 days straight.
:( i feel with you.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jerry The Hellbound on April 11, 2016, 10:01:24 am
Yes, before i did some shameful advertising, and i pasted most of the main creature code, however it was outdated from what id made the whole day, so started from the morning (10am) down to like 6pm, but i knew exactly what i did so i could replicate it all. took me just a few hours, although it was a pain to copy everything from the phone to the computer due to me having no internet in it. Next day i did tho, so i could copy paste everything over
Also its the mod in my sig.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on April 11, 2016, 01:07:44 pm
i had something simiar once modding meshes for oblivion:
i had to edit the original texturepaths manually from the original meshes into the modded meshes, meaning:
-load original mesh into nifskope
-mark object
-navigate to the texturepath
-copy texturepath
-switch to mod folder
-load mod mesh into nifskope
-mark object
-navigate to the texturepath
-paste texturepath
-save file as
-overwrite existing file? [yes]
-close both windows
-switch to original folder
-repeat

doing that for ~70 wallcarpets and banners and then forgetting to pack it somewhere for when i have to reinstall the game = all the work lost when i eventually could foresee destroying my install by having too many incompatible mods installed and no backups whatsoever :'( i decided to just not install the mod again :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Random_Dragon on April 11, 2016, 01:10:29 pm
Ah, that feeling. Though also annoying is making a major change to a mod, realizing it won't work as intended only to realize you overwrote/saved over the old version.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on April 11, 2016, 07:04:18 pm
had that alot when editing meshes. that engine has a problem with alpha channels. if two objects with textureproperties set to use alphachannel as transparency overlap (are behind eachother) they will make that portion of rendered screen bright, sometimes rendering both objects invisible, like they become thin air.
that happened to my glass armor when i changed said property and texture.

i was unlucky as to overwrite my game files directly with the modded files.

back to topic: looking frustrated through Dwarf TheRapist trying to figure out why my two miners say they got no job, while a hell lot of work is designated -> they just got stuck because somehow they managed to not have an upwards ramp in that portion of the main staircase.

staircase concept works: every zlevel is protected by doors from the ones above and below.
embark on ruins goes fine so far. lost my expeditionleader legendary miner because the cistern wasn't done soon enough :(
I hope Urist McUselessMigrant will do well in replacing him. (he already got mining Lvl5 by now, but started at zero!)

my best miner diedtrying to channel during the "wet season" :,(
he was legendary+5 !!! :,(

it's very big burden on McUselessMigrant alias Miner Lvl8 shoulders now!

i forgot the pump operator dorf who kept pumping water, although he was drownign in his pumped water. i am laughing & crying now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Droggarth on April 12, 2016, 05:45:04 am
Ugh, was looking for games on steam and a little bit from elsewhere to see if anything that strikes my fancy has popped up.. and nope.

I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that majority of games are empty shells of casual gameplay or the fact that I have had more fun in DF reading the randomly generated incoherent names in my generated world, FML. :-\

Point is once one has seen how so much more a game can be like DF is.. everything else that has been played and tried becomes a pile of bleh, at least for me it has had that effect. Have been "playing"/trying some of the other installed games on my computer and all I could think everytime about was "I wonder how I'm gonna mod this thing or that thing in DF and how am I gonna pull it all off".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jerry The Hellbound on April 12, 2016, 08:01:42 am
Quote from: Random_Dragon on April 11, 2016, 01:10:29 pm
Ah, that feeling. Though also annoying is making a major change to a mod, realizing it won't work as intended only to realize you overwrote/saved over the old version.
Yeah, what happenes to me is that I have a back up. And I normally edit the back up and update the one that I'm playing with. But I was editing the one I was playing with and the back up was around three months old. I overwritten the one I'm playing with the old one. Loosing all my progress
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: decev on April 12, 2016, 09:00:17 am
Didn't know that gigantic pandas were grazers. Had one die in it's cage in the main stockpile like a year after the elves brought it over. Also didn't know that reanimating corpses somehow get released from their cage. Gigantic panda corpse killed and/or maimed some important dwarves. It would have been game over in 34.11

Also, almost without fail, the visiting mercenaries try to kill the undead wildlife and get killed doing so, causing undead visitor corpses to roam my map. Thanks guys.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on April 12, 2016, 12:12:03 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on April 11, 2016, 07:04:18 pm
i forgot the pump operator dorf who kept pumping water, although he was drownign standing in his pumped water. i am laughing & crying now. he then left the scene when the water was at height 7/7 and cancelled the job.
fixed that.
but now my dorfs again don't have access to the cistern as my fort lacks a chain for a well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Plex on April 12, 2016, 08:42:39 pm
I remember the first cistern I dug. I remember it very clearly.

I was very happy with it until I connected it with the river. I was completely ignorant of dwarven pressure mechanics back then and I was really freaked out when water started spraying out of the meeting hall. Fortress was done in a few ticks, but the lag was so bad it took more like 10 minutes to kill that one last dwarf in the attic wood stockpile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Libash_Thunderhead on April 13, 2016, 08:15:31 pm
I was playing a reclaimed fortress. The game ran smoothly with 200 visible units, until suddenly fps dropped to 1 from 30.

I fixed it by exterminating all hungry heads using dfhack.

Then I checked their corpses and found some were near a door.
Then I remembered all pre-generated doors were set to pet impassable by default.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Droggarth on April 14, 2016, 07:28:47 am
Turns out all this time I got the arm, leg, joint, etc RELSIZE all wrong:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

*epic double facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogan Onulsodel on April 17, 2016, 09:44:30 pm
I played with the melt exploit to train weaponsmiths, armorsmiths, and get infinite weapons-grade materials. Of course, as my weaponsmiths and armorsmiths got proper training, they started producing lots of ☼menacing silver spikes☼. There must have been hundreds lying around. Well, no problem, you can't melt those, but you can trade them away. So a few caravans have come and gone and they've been VERY happy about their haul.

Then, while a human caravan was loading up one year, laden with ☼giant steel axe blades☼, a new mayor came into office and forbade export of menacing spikes. And something like half my fort (of 350 dwarves) had participated in hauling for the human caravan. And of course I'd forgotten to set up a jail. So... probably... 100 beatings scheduled?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Starweaver396 on April 18, 2016, 05:18:51 pm
Quote from: Kogan Onulsodel on April 17, 2016, 09:44:30 pm
I played with the melt exploit to train weaponsmiths, armorsmiths, and get infinite weapons-grade materials. Of course, as my weaponsmiths and armorsmiths got proper training, they started producing lots of ☼menacing silver spikes☼. There must have been hundreds lying around. Well, no problem, you can't melt those, but you can trade them away. So a few caravans have come and gone and they've been VERY happy about their haul.

Then, while a human caravan was loading up one year, laden with ☼giant steel axe blades☼, a new mayor came into office and forbade export of menacing spikes. And something like half my fort (of 350 dwarves) had participated in hauling for the human caravan. And of course I'd forgotten to set up a jail. So... probably... 100 beatings scheduled?

Murder the caravan next time. Or the mayor. (Don't know if either of those actually work.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Random_Dragon on April 18, 2016, 08:32:23 pm
Or just not have a sheriff/captain of the guard assigned. o3o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McShire on April 18, 2016, 08:35:03 pm
Exactly. If there's no officer who can dish out the punishment, then there's no punishment to be had. Just keep the mayor happy with some high quality silver status in his bedroom or office or something.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogan Onulsodel on April 19, 2016, 11:27:05 am
Quote from: Starweaver396 on April 18, 2016, 05:18:51 pm
Quote from: Kogan Onulsodel on April 17, 2016, 09:44:30 pm
I played with the melt exploit to train weaponsmiths, armorsmiths, and get infinite weapons-grade materials. Of course, as my weaponsmiths and armorsmiths got proper training, they started producing lots of ☼menacing silver spikes☼. There must have been hundreds lying around. Well, no problem, you can't melt those, but you can trade them away. So a few caravans have come and gone and they've been VERY happy about their haul.

Then, while a human caravan was loading up one year, laden with ☼giant steel axe blades☼, a new mayor came into office and forbade export of menacing spikes. And something like half my fort (of 350 dwarves) had participated in hauling for the human caravan. And of course I'd forgotten to set up a jail. So... probably... 100 beatings scheduled?

Murder the caravan next time. Or the mayor. (Don't know if either of those actually work.)

I thought about murdering the mayor. I tried removing him from office, but that didn't work. Maybe I'll have to set up that situation again, so I can murder the mayor, see if that would work. For SCIENCE!

I'm pretty sure murdering the caravan would work, since the issue came up when they left the map. The trouble is that, in a fort of 350 dorfs with multiple megaprojects going on, I didn't notice the new mayor's preferences until the beatings had begun, and then it was too late.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Saiko Kila on April 20, 2016, 02:31:06 am
Selling masterwork works the same as melting, for the artisan, so you could melt them anyway, and there will be no criminals. Only some suicides. But suicide isn't a crime, right?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on April 20, 2016, 04:03:57 am
Quote from: Saiko Kila on April 20, 2016, 02:31:06 am
Selling masterwork works the same as melting, for the artisan, so you could melt them anyway, and there will be no criminals. Only some suicides. But suicide isn't a crime, right?

I think this has been fixed (or is about to). The "trading away = destroyed" was a bug, whereas melting = destroying. However, "trading stuff while forbidden" is punishable by a beating (issue helmets to all dorfs, might help the survival rate).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogan Onulsodel on April 20, 2016, 09:07:46 am
I've never had the creator of a masterpiece upset by trading away. I wasn't even aware of this bug. I'm playing unmodded, too (well, a graphics package).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on April 20, 2016, 12:39:02 pm
Quote from: Kogan Onulsodel on April 20, 2016, 09:07:46 am
I've never had the creator of a masterpiece upset by trading away. I wasn't even aware of this bug. I'm playing unmodded, too (well, a graphics package).
It came with the trade export value fix (42.06). IIRC, they're listed as being destroyed by random megabeasts as soon as they leave your fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Player111444 on April 20, 2016, 08:28:22 pm
For Some Reason Dwarves are Aggressive Creatures.

One day a Fisherdwarf was fishing in the river in the east at the end of screen.

a hyena pack shows up.

got a interruption message. "Urist Cancels Fish. Interrupted by Hyena."

But for some reason in 42.06 the hyenas are scared. "Overcome with terror!"

But Urist is a bit of a pickle brain and chases 1 Hyena to kill it.

Not even stopping to kill that Canine.

Called Mr Militia Commander to slap that Hyena and Throw Urist's Face into the Chopping block for being an Suicidal Fool.

It was too late. Hyena got tired and kept whaling on poor UristMcAngryFisherDorf with it's canine teeth.

and Urist finally succumbs to infections or blood loss and the Hyena was Named Famousbrew for some reason. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: King Kitteh on April 20, 2016, 11:09:15 pm
Quote from: Saiko Kila on April 20, 2016, 02:31:06 am
But suicide isn't a crime, right?

UristMcDeaddybones, you have been charged with murder... of yourself. How do you plea?

..... Brains...


Guilty! Have him executed!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SOLDIER First on April 21, 2016, 05:53:15 am
Suicide is only a crime so we can legally prevent it.
...Wait, dwarves do this too, right?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MobRules on April 21, 2016, 03:59:11 pm
Quote from: Libash_Thunderhead on April 13, 2016, 08:15:31 pm
I was playing a reclaimed fortress. The game ran smoothly with 200 visible units, until suddenly fps dropped to 1 from 30.

I fixed it by exterminating all hungry heads using dfhack.

Then I checked their corpses and found some were near a door.
Then I remembered all pre-generated doors were set to pet impassable by default.

Yeah, the "One domesticated turkey trying repeatedly (and unsuccessfully) to path through a locked-to-pets-door, bringing the FPS down by an order of magnitude" bug drives me crazy. I've just stopped setting doors to be usable-by-dwarves-but-not-by-pets until such time as the bug is fixed. (But the pre-generated door would have caught me up as well; I wouldn't have thought to check it initially)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: King Kitteh on April 21, 2016, 11:46:26 pm
Wait, can Dwarves blame eachother for another Dwarf's suicide? If so that's genius.

In other news my fort was destroyed by giant alligators before I could even designate a single tree to be cut.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Saiko Kila on April 22, 2016, 02:36:33 am
I retired a fortress for testing, to see if this helps with near-death FPS. Well, it didn't really, maybe because of all these fights between giants and cyclopses, or a fire started by a dragon wanting to help fight a forgotten beast...

But face palm moment was when I realised that my fort now belongs to a goblin civ. Or rather a "revived" dwarf civ, whose members are somehow also members of a goblin civ, which (practically) conquered said dwarf civ (which is different than the original dwarf civ my fort belonged to before). Even their names are goblin. For example the current queen is a dwarf who was an administrator of some hillock under the goblin civ. The hillock was conquered by the goblins 50 years before her birth. And now she is a puppet queen of the civ of her ancestors. I doubt she even speaks Dwarven. Still, my duchesses and other dwarves are apparently part of the original civ, at least according to the CIV ID. Just the land was stolen from under their feet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McShire on April 25, 2016, 11:43:52 am
Apparently I still don't understand the usage of ramps when it comes to mining, as I just had two dwarves die of dehydration when they wouldn't go back up the ramps they constructed to go further down.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bigjaredmonkey on April 25, 2016, 08:57:11 pm
I am currently being sieged by a large force that will no doubt kill all of my dwarves, consisting of...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Karnewarrior on April 27, 2016, 04:22:52 pm
Quote from: bigjaredmonkey on April 25, 2016, 08:57:11 pm
I am currently being sieged by a large force that will no doubt kill all of my dwarves, consisting of...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I was once besiged by a single goblin who was stuck in a tree surrounded by war dogs.

It was funny.

Especially after the wopdcutter got there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on April 27, 2016, 04:31:43 pm
Quote from: Karnewarrior on April 27, 2016, 04:22:52 pm
Quote from: bigjaredmonkey on April 25, 2016, 08:57:11 pm
I am currently being sieged by a large force that will no doubt kill all of my dwarves, consisting of...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I was once besiged by a single goblin who was stuck in a tree surrounded by war dogs.

It was funny.

Especially after the woodcutter got there.
Due to a modding error, I once got sieged by an army of toads lead by a pyromancer. Not toadmen, not giant toads, but toads. The kind cats murder.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dozebm Lolumzals on April 27, 2016, 05:24:35 pm
Quote from: Karnewarrior on April 27, 2016, 04:22:52 pm
I was once besiged by a single goblin who was stuck in a tree surrounded by war dogs.

It was funny.

Especially after the woodcutter got there.

I don't think that was a siege in the traditional sense. Rather your dogs sieged him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SchmittLenin on April 29, 2016, 05:47:34 pm
Quote from: Splint on April 27, 2016, 04:31:43 pm
Quote from: Karnewarrior on April 27, 2016, 04:22:52 pm
Quote from: bigjaredmonkey on April 25, 2016, 08:57:11 pm
I am currently being sieged by a large force that will no doubt kill all of my dwarves, consisting of...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I was once besiged by a single goblin who was stuck in a tree surrounded by war dogs.

It was funny.

Especially after the woodcutter got there.
Due to a modding error, I once got sieged by an army of toads lead by a pyromancer. Not toadmen, not giant toads, but toads. The kind cats murder.

A vile warty force of darkness has arrived!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on May 03, 2016, 07:15:21 am
Urist McMacedorf and Urist McSworddorf tried killing the Giant Bat, which flew over the water... they got hit during the fight and being unconscious, they drowned, reducing my militia to 2 dorfs - just before a FB showed up "beware its posionous sting" :(
that place is haunted, i shouldn't have reclaimed it.
hopefully some of the dorfs made it and got away from there alive.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kogan Onulsodel on May 03, 2016, 08:58:15 am
Had my old fort, which has been going for a few years IRL, and I went all out with the exploits (danger rooms, infinite adamantine through trading coins, the works) in this one. The FPS has gotten so low that it's time to bring it to an end. I have 110 dwarves in the militia, dressed in a full kit of masterwork candy armor. Naturally, time to breach hell and see how my army does. I have 3 artifact doors, so I actually have 3 different routes that I can funnel the demons into, I'm hoping I can get them to split up a little bit, maybe pincushion a few with my 50 marksdwarves if I'm worried that they might be exploding demons, maybe distract them with my giant war cheetah-splosion (that's the only breeding pair of giant animals I managed to get, not tigers, but still good). This is gonna be epic. So I send my miner to break through the last little bit to HFS, simply planning on an epic battle with the clown car, when somehow... somehow...

The clown car spawns under the wrong adamantine spire and just... dissipates. There's no sign of them, only 30 or so underworld.

An underwhelming end to an epic fort.  :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pikachu17 on May 03, 2016, 10:40:15 am
Quote from: Saiko Kila on April 22, 2016, 02:36:33 am
I retired a fortress for testing, to see if this helps with near-death FPS. Well, it didn't really, maybe because of all these fights between giants and cyclopses, or a fire started by a dragon wanting to help fight a forgotten beast...

But face palm moment was when I realised that my fort now belongs to a goblin civ. Or rather a "revived" dwarf civ, whose members are somehow also members of a goblin civ, which (practically) conquered said dwarf civ (which is different than the original dwarf civ my fort belonged to before). Even their names are goblin. For example the current queen is a dwarf who was an administrator of some hillock under the goblin civ. The hillock was conquered by the goblins 50 years before her birth. And now she is a puppet queen of the civ of her ancestors. I doubt she even speaks Dwarven. Still, my duchesses and other dwarves are apparently part of the original civ, at least according to the CIV ID. Just the land was stolen from under their feet.
the goblin-named dwarves are probably kidnapped from the original dwarven civ by goblins then they started multiplying.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ManaUser on May 12, 2016, 11:29:48 pm
I just sent a squad of 10 master axedwarves up against a forgotten beast... armed with crossbows. The fight actually went better than you might think, only one of them died... arm ripped off. The rest kept it busy long enough to call in a much greener backup squad who at least had proper weapons. It was pretty well bitten and bashed into submission by that point and they quickly finished it off.

Now I just have to hope that "deadly spittle"... isn't. So far so good.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GAGALTHARAX on May 15, 2016, 12:38:00 am
Today a human necromancer waltzed right into my fort and started snooping around, so I sent a small squad of dwarves in to run him off real quick. After he left the area I noticed he reanimated a bit of giant hedgehog hair... I imagine it's just a pile of hair. I ordered the squad to attack the zombiefied giant hedgehog hair to no avail, the attacks just pass right through it and obviously it can't harm the dwarves, which makes the fight endless. I ordered everyone to into the burrows forcing the dwarves to stop their ,would be, endless battle with the bit of hair. When it left the walls of the fort I raised the bridges.

Later I noticed many of the dwarves had legendary status which seemed to have come about suddenly, so I looked at their skills... all legendary or grand master observers!!!

I thought it must have been from punching that bit of hair for weeks. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Liarra on May 16, 2016, 08:25:53 am
I needed to remove a lot of natural ramps to make my isolated plateau fort inaccessible via the ground, instead of doing something smart like going layer by layer from the top or bottom, I designated the whole lot at once on 7 or so layers.
Needless to say the dwarves dug randomly and I was left spending HOURS carefully going through and accessing different layers that still had a few ramps on them.

I turned a 10 minute job into well over 2 hours of painstakingly slow progress.

The facepalm moment (I actually put my hand to my forehead IRL when I took stock) was when I found myself building a ramp to build a ramp to build a ramp to build a ramp to destroy a ramp.

...Ugh.


The other facepalm moment of note is that I have been building a fortress behind a waterfall on a large river ( here's a pic of the dam http://imgur.com/Qlw17OI ) and I keep having to turn the water pumps on and off to work on the fortress, EVERY SINGLE TIME I forget to build some simple floodgates on the edge of the waterfall and instead sit there waiting 20 minutes for the water to drain before doing whatever needs doing and filling it back up.
One row of floodgates could have saved me hours of waiting, yet I keep forgetting to do it every damn time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: hanni79 on May 16, 2016, 08:57:14 am
My Fortress is called Breedmine.

So I thought, after reading that GCS can breed now, "Time for a GCS breeding program ftw!"
Well, everything went pretty well, I got four spiders, two males, two females. I prepared a nice setup so I can breed and recatch them. I designated them to a linked up cage so I can safely release them. After two or three month I wondered why my dwarves still hadn't put them in, so I looked around and found out some dumb human spearman had happily slaughtered three of them while they were hauled to their destination.

I caught him with the help of the remaining male by luring him over some traps I carefully let my GCS web, worked like a charm. Afterwards I set up my silk farm, with the human spearman as practising target for the GCS.

After failing to cheat a female GCS in, imagine my joy when another femamel GCS entered the caves, I thought the caves where devoid of all life, since for two or three years nothing entered them !

I carefully put them together in a room so they can breed. Another year later, I wondered why nothing had happened. So I did a quicksave, trained the GCS so they show up in DwarfTherapist - and the male is homosexual.

Remember, my fortress is called Breedmine. I now believe the game is deliberately trying to mock me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tacomagic on May 17, 2016, 05:24:15 pm
I tried to set up a mine-and-run breech into a lava pipe in order to fill a new lava cistern.  Did the standard "two jobs" method with one on the lava wall and, after he'd accepted that job, another a few levels up where he'd be safe.

Unfortunately I have two miners and forgot to deactivate the other.

I'm really going to miss that pick.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BlackBronze on May 22, 2016, 11:55:14 am
I lost almost all of my dwarves to dehydration after a horde of crundles climbed just high enough to be out of reach of them. Apparently, my dwarves REALLY hate Crundles enough to drop everything and try to kill them at a moments notice. I eventually tried to create some crossbows to solve the problem, except the dwarf in charge of the Boyer's workshop was interrupted by....even more climbing-savvy crundles.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NESgamer190 on May 30, 2016, 09:44:20 am
With my latest fort, I had a minor facepalm, thinking "Oh, the whole brook won't freeze!  I'm seeing some brook not freeze".  Cue the remaining brook getting with the program of freezing and me narrowly averting a fort death via no drink or water.  (The land's badlands for the record, with a brook going through it near the edge.  I have made measures to make a screw pump to pump some water into the X-Com-esque fortress.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: KiBoy on June 01, 2016, 06:40:45 am
Brought a single Turkey Hen and about 20 Turkey Gobblers with me on an embark instead of the othey way around.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nasferatu on June 02, 2016, 03:38:24 pm
Axedwarf has grown attached to a grown oak shortsword

there are many things wrong with this
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on June 02, 2016, 05:55:39 pm
first migrant wave of 3 dorfs:
a beekeeper, a fisherdorf and a talented doctor

now i instantly open DT and check them, everything is fine.
i unpause and soundsense playes battlesounds. i check the announcement window to see that the doctor is fighting the beekeper.
suddenly it says the beekeeper is dead.
i check units and find they were married and have 4 children.
while killing him, she even felt satisfied for improving fighting and striking.
then felt horrified upon the unsuspected death of a beloved one.
WTF?!
---
i just made a copy of the save and opened it in legends viewer and there is no sign of a reason for that fight.
he gave up beekeeping to become a poet, she gave up armoring to become a doctor, they met, they migrated and then she kills him. i even looked if any of them worshipped a dark deity, but none did. well, i hope she can cope with killing her spouse.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AzyWng on June 03, 2016, 05:07:49 pm
Trees are evil!

I've had my second tree-related death!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on June 04, 2016, 04:08:16 am
Quote from: AzyWng on June 03, 2016, 05:07:49 pm
Trees are evil!

I've had my second tree-related death!
I'm up to 7. They have their own section in the cemetery.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Libash_Thunderhead on June 04, 2016, 04:58:55 am
In previous version, when I want 1 armor stand, I input the following commands: j-m-rock ar-enter-enter.
But now the default number is infinity...
Fortunately the caravans came that years had extra space in their wagons.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheBiggerFish on June 05, 2016, 10:04:54 am
That reminds me of Spearbreakers...(though it ended up becoming a Thing.)

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD.
MUGS FOR THE MUG THRONE.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on June 07, 2016, 07:58:31 am
I didn't realize the manager quantity for conditional repeating jobs is a batch size, not a running total. Had to redo all of them because the jobs never stopped.
Finally got my first scholar petition to join my fort, after several years of only mercs and bards. Save-scummed after bungling some of my minecart stockpile settings (apparently it's per stop, not per stockpile link.) The scholar is now nowhere to be found, not even visiting.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on June 13, 2016, 01:03:21 pm
So, working on powerless minecart percussion corridor plans....

Test of concept whether falling loaded minecart will spill contents...I learned a few things, like when dwarves deconstruct a floor, they take the minecart off it instead of letting it fall down.

I also realized that I should have just dug down instead of building a tower >_>

Every military dwarf in burrow dodged when it hit, because I forgot to wall them in.

Finally, on success I learned that no spillage and same falling cart can hit multiple creatures on same tile.

Ok, so time for a corridor....High cadence,diagonal for slower pathing, no power would make things simple, so lets try two valid ramps, floor and fake ramp...Of course, I've seen enough carts stopping on collisions that I should have realized this would pause on first hit. At least the dwarf got 21 exp from 7 previous dodges, that was cute. To add insult to the injury, it did only yellow wounds - right, damage is dependent on fall distance.

So, elevator designs. Initial proof of concept checkpoint elevator seemed to work, so built 1 5z tall one for diagonal iteration (easy to perfectly load and pause with single hatch thanks to quantum piles)

...I put the stop walls for walling in the same direction starter impulse ramp launches them from, thus putting the cart on the edge of a tile and making it backslide due insufficient speed.

Okay, so new design. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson?
Spoiler: "Haha nope" (click to show/hide)

Spent like 8 minutes looking at it and wondering "why does this impulse checkpoint + flat track checkpoint elevate properly but this one not"

Then realized that although both corners initially center the cart I forgot to account for corner ramp diagonal movement <_<

At least I have working elevator to mirror, but still. Same mistake twice in a row *sigh* At least only 1 misdesignated ramp and 1 mining accident so far.

*realizes the mirror would mirror the direction*

...I should get out of the sun before I get a heatstroke.

*reverses the polarity of ramps*

...that worked not so much that the section that worked before stopped working. ...I guess it's due the corner ramps at the bottom, but there's one thing I know:

I'm great at confusing myself.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on June 14, 2016, 08:46:19 am
This is my magma minecart trough:
(http://i.imgur.com/0MYkR07.png)

Guess what happens when somebody goes to retrieve the dumping minecart right after it drops an iron minecart into the magma?

I would have changed it to do a U-turn, but my magma forges are too close. Also, they never pick up the filled minecart for some reason. Probably too close to the trough to cool.
Double face-palm:

I changed it so that the iron minecart rolls down the ramp into the magma trough, instead of being dumped. It then sped through the magma without filling. I drained the trough, deconstructed the rollers, waited for the magma to evaporate, and rebuilt the rollers at medium. Still no fill. Save-scummed and built at lowest speed. Fill, but the cart doesn't make it back up the ramp. Save-scummed and built at low speed. Cart neither clears nor fills with magma. It just sits there in 7/7 magma unfilled.

Guess I'll stick with lowest and rely on other carts to push it back out. Edit: Did this and now they're spontaneously clearing without pushes. Not going to question it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MinerMan60101 on June 14, 2016, 07:04:50 pm
Just realized that the whole time i was trading i was pressing 'o' instead of 't'. (giving the caravan stuff with nothing in return) Now i understand why my exported wealth is 0 and i wasn't getting any sand or glass.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: k on June 14, 2016, 07:58:01 pm
I was making a magma pool to power the forge, but accidentally ignited a dwarf. Unfortunately, this level is in soil, so it is covered in moss. The fire went from the dwarf to the ground, and then to everything else.

I thought the whole fortress would die in fire. However, my 20 soldiers had been sparring in the barrack for so long that on the ground no moss grew. They survived the fire.

And a poet and a bard survived, too. Because of the traffic, some part of the bar is free from moss.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Repseki on June 15, 2016, 06:47:03 am
It took me 3 years to realize that one of my military dwarves had nearly maxed stress vulnerability.

It also took that dwarf 3 years to finally loose their shit enough to start throwing tantrums.

Hammerlords throwing tantrums in a very small crowded meeting area is not the best way to deal with stress...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Random_Dragon on June 15, 2016, 02:39:30 pm
Quote from: Repseki on June 15, 2016, 06:47:03 am
It also took that dwarf 3 years to finally loose their shit enough to start throwing tantrums.

Huehuehue: http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/mantisbt/view.php?id=9660 (http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/mantisbt/view.php?id=9660)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rachiebird on June 16, 2016, 01:07:38 am
I'd say it was probably the bit during the first year where I became confused about what symbol in the trade screen was meant to represent the item's value, and traded away all my rare gems for a zero-quality shirt and pair of socks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on June 18, 2016, 03:21:52 pm
Breached the circus because I was beginning to question if my candy cane was actually hollow or not. FPS drops to ~5-10, and I order my military to the spire immediately. A minute later my cavern is burning down from all the flaming clowns. I go to check on my soldiers... and they're faffing about in the taverns with unreachable target!

I order them to move down to my forges, which are now being destroyed by clowns. Unreachable target! I order them to the top of the stairwell, which the clowns have not reached yet. Unreachable target!

A few clowns begin destroying all my workshops and burning masterworks. Eventually, a clown reaches the area below the taverns and one of my soldiers kills it with minimal injury. Eventually, the clowns finish destroying all my workshops, and engage some of my forces below the tavern. I manage to kill all of those while losing maybe 10 of my 40 soldiers (all of which are legendary.)

Only a handful of clowns are left. Two of the flaming ones are hanging out in the forge area, fruitlessly trying to deconstruct a floodgate in my obsidianizer. They're probably standing in the wrong spot. A few flying clowns are meandering about the caverns.

At this point, my FPS is stuck at 3 and the entire lower half of my fort is rekt. The remaining clowns are all unreachable due to the inaccessible stairwell. I lost a handful of civilians, but most were in the upper half when the clowns arrived. 20 of my 30 remaining soldiers are in the tavern, where they've always been. They never lifted a finger in defense of the fort.

At this point I decided to save-scum. I've been meaning to finish my magma moat, and that wasn't going to happen at the state my fort and FPS were in. It was a good trial run to know that I can actually beat the HFS as is. However, when I decide to open it for real, my squads will already be in position and do their f**king jobs!

The one good thing that came of this is that I've found a tile of the candy cane that goes straight down without hitting any SMR. This will be my stairwell when I decide to build Hell's Kitchen.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: YetAnotherLurker on June 19, 2016, 11:47:51 pm
Turns out, starting a massive tree-chopping operation in the third cavern layer (Z32), planting some 300 tiles worth of crops in surface farms (Z154), buying out a human caravan, and butchering two dozen captive horses from the last siege, all at the same time, is a TERRIBLE idea. Especially when you only have 80ish citizens capable of work.

End result, a caravan and two dozen horses' worth of rotting meat and byproducts, every single quantum stockpile's feeder area clogged as "Store Item in Vehicle" jobs outnumber dwarves by 10 to 1, and an entire season's harvest withering in the fields.'

On the other hand, I now have a lovely pile of blood thorn and nether cap logs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on June 20, 2016, 01:49:01 am
Climbing crundles. They interrupted a hauler, legendary blacksmith, and legendary carpenter, causing them to climb onto a shroom tree over the cavern lake. I thought that would be the worst of it.

I was wrong. The crundles climbed over to the dwarves and began a mid-climb fight. It drags on and my dwarves and a few crundles exhaust themselves and plummet into the water below. They all fall unconscious due to exhaustion and drown. The squad I ordered there to help had been just watching this take place (as I've come to expect of them,) not bothering to climb into the fight.

I have no idea what the legendaries were doing near that part of the caverns in the first place. They don't have hauling enabled. They were supposedly going to build a wall (near the unopened candy cane) when they were interrupted. Probably chased a fleeing crundle all the way.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Blackadder on June 21, 2016, 11:27:49 pm
So, I've gotten into the game again recently, and was messing around with a few of the latest Masterwork mod settings. One of the DF Therapist options allows assigning labor to children.

Now, for a bit of background, from an ethics standpoint I am against both cheating in a video game, and child labor - however, being the dirty capitalist and efficient fortress manager that I am, I could not turn down the opportunity to squeeze a little profit out of the little snots. The trick is to make it seem like a game! Lost a finger? Go dive in that stockpile and find it! Make sure you grab any rats you see in the process, dirty bastards.

I digress. It seems that one of my newly enslaved hired laborers has decided to follow the illustrious career path of "murderous little piece of shit" and in the process took the lives of three of my peasant military drones. Granted, they were a far-cry from the slotted-spoon-wielding elite guardsmen who followed our (former) expedition leader and only grumbled occasionally. They -have- been grumbling a bit more now that Uzol has assumed the new position, in place of the freshly deceased (and quite overly-perfumed) former expedition leader.

Our diagnostician, recently appointed after a quick study of "Basic Anatomy for F*#@ing Dumbf*#$s" mentions some nonsense about a "Strange Mood". We just think it's the plump helmets. Worst form of mind control the Dwarven Empire has ever developed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AzyWng on June 22, 2016, 08:30:49 am
Quote from: Blackadder on June 21, 2016, 11:27:49 pm
I digress. It seems that one of my newly enslaved hired laborers has decided to follow the illustrious career path of "murderous little piece of shit" and in the process took the lives of three of my peasant military drones.

Did they go nuts or something?

God damn your military drones must suck!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pikachu17 on June 22, 2016, 10:41:35 am
Vampire maybe?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Blackadder on June 22, 2016, 10:50:12 am
Quote from: AzyWng on June 22, 2016, 08:30:49 am

Did they go nuts or something?

God damn your military drones must suck!

They were not yet armed, something I have now remedied - however I was impressed an unarmed child was able to kill three 50-80 year old dwarves in a wrestling match. Our children are now being kept in a secure prison daycare facility to prevent future incidents.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: YetAnotherLurker on June 23, 2016, 04:21:11 am
One of my roller-powered lead minecart grinders jammed because I threw about 60 greater badgermen on horses in at once. I now had 100-odd bruised and angry badgermen and horses stuck under my entrance bridge, with no safe way to let them out. Magma was considered and discarded, as I didn't want to go to the trouble of rebuilding everything after it all melts. So, I built an extension to my pump stack to turn the grinder pit into a drowning chamber. Only a few minor flooding problems, quickly contained, occur as I build a drainage system, and the test run successfully provides me with another few years' worth of horse meat and badgerite.

Fast forward a few years. I've replaced the rock-filled lead minecarts with lead-filled gold minecarts in an attempt to increase lethality and reduce jamming, and another 60+ mounted badgermen lay siege to my fortress. I drop them in as before, flip the switch to begin harvesting this year's crop, and go back to supervising my military as they hunt down a forgotten beast in the third cavern. After a while, I notice the siege still hasn't broken, so I take a look in the pit. All of the minecarts are piled in a line ending in a corner, once again there's 50 angry badgers and their horses in my pit. I take a closer look, and find, in the corner, "dead muddy cave wheat" instead of "Obsidian Track NE".

Looks like I'm going to have to rebuild everything anyway to make it plant-proof.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Random_Dragon on June 23, 2016, 04:36:26 am
Modding bug of the day: Phantom spiders and acorn flies having no fucking clue what they're made of to due a typo.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dirst on June 23, 2016, 12:47:30 pm
Quote from: Random_Dragon on June 23, 2016, 04:36:26 am
Modding bug of the day: Phantom spiders and acorn flies having no fucking clue what they're made of to due a typo.
To be fair, I don't think real flies have any idea what they're made from either.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Random_Dragon on June 23, 2016, 02:26:22 pm
True, but do they know their bodies at least exist? o3o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Repseki on June 23, 2016, 05:26:23 pm
Quote from: Random_Dragon on June 23, 2016, 02:26:22 pm
True, but do they know their bodies at least exist? o3o

Sounds like the subject of a Dwarven Philosophy book.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist McColeTheo on June 23, 2016, 11:22:56 pm
I used to think "potash" was some weirdly named food product made of potatoes so I considered Potash Makers useless.

Up until now I was pronouncing it "puhtash."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: YetAnotherLurker on June 24, 2016, 12:33:27 pm
I spent quite a bit of time securing an area around a lake in the third cavern layer over 100 Z-levels below the core of my fortress to fish in, in hopes of acquiring some cave lobsters on the off chance shells are demanded by a mood. I just discovered that my fortress is home to aquifer turtles, and that they can be pumped with no problems.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mscottveach on June 26, 2016, 07:34:25 pm
Quote from: Urist McColeTheo on June 23, 2016, 11:22:56 pm
I used to think "potash" was some weirdly named food product made of potatoes so I considered Potash Makers useless.

Up until now I was pronouncing it "puhtash."

And... uh... .what's the truth? (Asking for a friend.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on June 26, 2016, 07:40:03 pm
I think the more relevant discovery was that Urist had an opportunity to pronounce it - e.g. to speak of potash making in DF with someone face to face.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derro on June 27, 2016, 12:21:38 am
Quote from: mscottveach on June 26, 2016, 07:34:25 pm
Quote from: Urist McColeTheo on June 23, 2016, 11:22:56 pm
I used to think "potash" was some weirdly named food product made of potatoes so I considered Potash Makers useless.

Up until now I was pronouncing it "puhtash."

And... uh... .what's the truth? (Asking for a friend.)

Potassium in nutrient forms.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Random_Dragon on June 27, 2016, 12:59:56 am
Well, my latest facepalm moment is the "is potash a potato" thing and the derp that has stemmed from it.

Technically it's any of several potassium salts, traditionally made by collecting wood ashes (hence, ashery), and soaking them in container filled with water to leach the salts out and evaporate the water. Which you'd typically do in a pot, ergo...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Repseki on June 27, 2016, 06:08:14 am
So my latest face palm was realizing I had a improperly defined work order for processing quarrybush plants into bags of leaves.

The fort will officially never have a shortage of leaves to cook, and our clothiers are pumping out masterpiece everything after making so many bags over the past few years since it was originally set.

I've decided to fallow most of the farms while we work through our overproduction.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on June 28, 2016, 05:19:58 am
Clowns now go in the (unfilterable) corpse stockpile. My corpse stockpile gives to a wooden minecart that dumps into magma.

Cancel announcement. Lots of smoke and I notice my minecart is missing from the hauling menu. I thought the size of the corpses was finally causing magma to splash.

I assign another wooden minecart to check. Dwarves start loading up the cart and it immediately disintegrates. Some clown corpses are made of fire.

I assign an iron minecart. The corpses are dumped. The corpses sit in the magma. Fire does not melt in magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derro on June 28, 2016, 05:27:40 am
Quote from: Bumber on June 28, 2016, 05:19:58 am
Clowns now go in the (unfilterable) corpse stockpile. My corpse stockpile gives to a wooden minecart that dumps into magma.

Cancel announcement. Lots of smoke and I notice my minecart is missing from the hauling menu. I thought the size of the corpses was finally causing magma to splash.

I assign another wooden minecart to check. Dwarves start loading up the cart and it immediately disintegrates. Some clown corpses are made of fire.

I assign an iron minecart. The corpses are dumped. The corpses sit in the magma. Fire does not melt in magma.

Drain a pool into the magma. Dig out the corpse-destroying obsidian. Carve statues of the demon from the obsidian. Decorate your dining room with them. No problem here, right?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on June 28, 2016, 02:33:37 pm
Weaponize the corpses. The invaders come in, are shocked to see dead demons, then burn from the heat.

Of course, after killing the clowns it begs the question of "against what"?

Alternatively, use them to prevent freezing water perhaps.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on June 28, 2016, 02:35:42 pm
Dump them into the magma sea. Any object that hits SMR will instantly disappear.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on June 28, 2016, 10:25:15 pm
'I'm getting miasma. Why am I getting miasma?'

Check butcher shop, it has rotted gazelle I got killed earlier.

'Hm, is it because "haul all the willow logs from clearcutting willow" is more important than store item in vehicle?'

No, there are idlers...Plus only single-tile feeder pile for wood.

Check routes. Forgot to enable food for food cart *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on June 29, 2016, 03:15:06 am
Quote from: Derro on June 28, 2016, 05:27:40 am
Drain a pool into the magma. Dig out the corpse-destroying obsidian. Carve statues of the demon from the obsidian. Decorate your dining room with them. No problem here, right?
Does obsidian even destroy magma-safe corpses? I thought they just got stuck in the tile, like regular corpses in ice.
Quote from: Fleeting Frames on June 28, 2016, 02:33:37 pm
Alternatively, use them to prevent freezing water perhaps.
No ice on my embark, but they could be useful for burning down trees. Unfortunately, collapsing trees destroy floor/ground tiles, leaving unpathable areas on the map which are a pain to find and fix.
Quote from: TheFlame52 on June 28, 2016, 02:35:42 pm
Dump them into the magma sea. Any object that hits SMR will instantly disappear.
Don't want to risk magma crabs. I ended up just atom-smashing them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: YetAnotherLurker on June 29, 2016, 06:13:54 am
My bucket-brigade successfully converted the highest level of magma around one of my candy canes into obsidian, but took forever. I decided to expand my plumbing to speed the process up, and have been dumping the output of 40+ aquifer tiles into the magma sea around the candy cane to form a caisson. Unfortunately, I didn't pay attention and it turns out, a good portion is not just Magma, but Magma Flow.

That means I've been attempting to use an aquifer and dwarven engineering to flood the magma sea with water, and it is working. The top level of magma near the spire has already dropped to 0/7 within a 15-tile radius, and the level below is down to 5/7 and 6/7s in the areas that aren't Magma Flow. Admittedly, my FPS isn't doing so hot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on July 02, 2016, 05:20:01 am
Nearly flooded my fort in adventure mode because the map-edge fortification trick doesn't work there. Worse, I swear I'd seen the same face-palm before in this thread.
And now I did the thing where you try to jump-grab a wall, only to realize your hands were full. At least I only mangled my arm. (It was in a world gen fort, so not really a fort mode facepalm, but whatever.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatZommy on July 06, 2016, 12:14:31 am
"Okay something went wrong but we do have weresquirrels that crash the game"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on July 06, 2016, 07:46:38 am
Dorfs: "suspended link from lever, could not find path"
me: "..but you could pull the lovemaking thing, and the door you are supposed to hook up is downstairs from it!"
Dorfs: ".... could not find path"
me: "DO IT FFS!"
Dorfs: ".... could not find path"
me:  :'( *rage*  >:(
Dorfs: ".... could not find path"

... oh, the door is forbidden.  :o
Took me quite a while to figure that out...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: milo christiansen on July 12, 2016, 11:41:04 am
Quote from: YetAnotherLurker on June 29, 2016, 06:13:54 am
My bucket-brigade successfully converted the highest level of magma around one of my candy canes into obsidian, but took forever. I decided to expand my plumbing to speed the process up, and have been dumping the output of 40+ aquifer tiles into the magma sea around the candy cane to form a caisson. Unfortunately, I didn't pay attention and it turns out, a good portion is not just Magma, but Magma Flow.

That means I've been attempting to use an aquifer and dwarven engineering to flood the magma sea with water, and it is working. The top level of magma near the spire has already dropped to 0/7 within a 15-tile radius, and the level below is down to 5/7 and 6/7s in the areas that aren't Magma Flow. Admittedly, my FPS isn't doing so hot.

Somewhere in this subform there is a thread detailing the process of draining the magma sea and sealing the edges (by... itg I think?). The process is fairly easy to implement, but non-obvious. It looks like you have discovered the first part of it on your own. Congratulations!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Awessum Possum on July 14, 2016, 01:33:05 pm
Just now:

Was working on filling in part of a volcano so I could build my fort in it. Everything was going well, pumpstack was complete, and I was just working on the canal for water delivery. Plan was to fill in by pieces using retractable bridges to control the flow. First bridge was ready, just had to wall around it for containment.

I forgot that walls can be built off of a bridge, but not supported by one. I designated one whole side to be built at once. I'm now down 9 dwarves.

This is shortly after I screwed up and created the channel for a magma smelter before the smelter was built. Urist McLegendaryMiner dutifully broke the volcano wall and then walked back into the hole under the smelter on his way back...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Random_Dragon on July 14, 2016, 01:37:32 pm
Had one myself a bit ago. Deleted my raw folder to start up a new bit of modding experimentation...and realized I hadn't backed up the vanilla raws by zipping it up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: WordsandChaos on July 17, 2016, 06:58:48 am
Why aren't my miners mining!?

The answer is the burrow boundaries, genius.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: LockePhilote on July 18, 2016, 03:44:43 pm
I forgot that werecreatures bite. So, I had my dwarves take the wounded from my wereass fight to the hospital. Come next full moon... dead dwarves everywhere.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatZommy on July 18, 2016, 06:26:24 pm
Encountered a blind cave ogre for the first time.
"Oh, they can't be too strong"
Sent a single axedwarf to kill it
Lost my one trained soldier
Sent my farmers to kill it
Lost a thresher

This is the point at which I decided to lock them behind a couple of doors and never mess with that part of the caverns again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Paaaad on July 18, 2016, 07:34:47 pm
Quote from: ThatZommy on July 18, 2016, 06:26:24 pm
Encountered a blind cave ogre for the first time.
"Oh, they can't be too strong"
Sent a single axedwarf to kill it
Lost my one trained soldier
Sent my farmers to kill it
Lost a thresher

This is the point at which I decided to lock them behind a couple of doors and never mess with that part of the caverns again.

Doors? Pah. Blind Cave Ogres are Building Destroyers! Level two at that...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NESgamer190 on July 18, 2016, 09:06:10 pm
In a grand bout of panic, after having shortly dealt with a failed mood dwarf who went berserk due to silk, I wound up maiming a giant cave spider, and to say the least, I have only one thing to my mind:  Shame eternal.

Also, that which likely contributed is the fact I put hatches at the bottom of the stairwells, where they'd be ineffective at blocking off intruders.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ThatZommy on July 19, 2016, 01:03:41 pm
Quote from: Paaaad on July 18, 2016, 07:34:47 pm
Quote from: ThatZommy on July 18, 2016, 06:26:24 pm
Encountered a blind cave ogre for the first time.
"Oh, they can't be too strong"
Sent a single axedwarf to kill it
Lost my one trained soldier
Sent my farmers to kill it
Lost a thresher

This is the point at which I decided to lock them behind a couple of doors and never mess with that part of the caverns again.

Doors? Pah. Blind Cave Ogres are Building Destroyers! Level two at that...

Yes, I discovered this shortly before accidentally flooding the caverns with magma.
I decided to abandon the fortress when the injured began dying of thirst.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FantasticDorf on July 19, 2016, 01:23:48 pm
That moment when you feel dumb because you just screwed up your vitally important, intricate and well designed cistern & 3 level farming rig, all ready to go because you placed a bridge in the wrong place (the bottom of the cistern, so i can pull it away when im done with farming to fill a resovoir for my well/grate bathrooms) and mistook a up/down staircase for a floodgate.

Quote
*Inside screams of anguish*

Tracing proper proportions on ascii is hard. I swear the horizontal direction literally defies mathmatics, into tricking your brain to miss out a few blocks here and there instead of staying central.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on July 19, 2016, 01:28:57 pm
Which horizontal direction?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FantasticDorf on July 19, 2016, 01:33:14 pm
Quote from: Fleeting Frames on July 19, 2016, 01:28:57 pm
Which horizontal direction?

Every horizontal direction
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dirst on July 19, 2016, 09:39:46 pm
Quote from: FantasticDorf on July 19, 2016, 01:23:48 pm
Tracing proper proportions on ascii is hard. I swear the horizontal direction literally defies mathmatics, into tricking your brain to miss out a few blocks here and there instead of staying central.
So your facepalm is for using a nonsquare tileset? :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FantasticDorf on July 20, 2016, 03:28:57 am
Quote from: Dirst on July 19, 2016, 09:39:46 pm
Quote from: FantasticDorf on July 19, 2016, 01:23:48 pm
Tracing proper proportions on ascii is hard. I swear the horizontal direction literally defies mathmatics, into tricking your brain to miss out a few blocks here and there instead of staying central.
So your facepalm is for using a nonsquare tileset? :)

Not really as much as being disciplined enough to apply it without mistake. Don't get me wrong, when it's done right it looks great since having it entirely square might screw with my eyes after a while, ASCII can simulate a certain amount of depth with its slightly slanted use.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AlBravo on July 20, 2016, 04:48:27 am
Digging a 'fort to magma' pit.  I accidentally nicked the caverns just as the miners were finishing.  The flying forgotten beast took a swipe at 8 miners on the way up who all dutifully dodged from the stairs to the shaft as they were taught.  Down go 8 miners into a mangled pile of limbs at the bottom of the shaft.  Luckily I had not opened the last tile at the bottom to expose the magma.  So at least they got proper burials and I recovered gear.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ApatheticExcuse on July 21, 2016, 11:00:47 am
Haven't played since 40d. Jumped in again last night, thought I knew what I was doing. Lulz.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheDarkStar on July 21, 2016, 03:27:10 pm
1. Connect bridge and lever.
2. Assign lever to be pulled.
3. Watch only appraiser move over bridge.
4. Watch bridge raise, atomsmashing the dwarf because he's over the tile that becomes a wall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: scourge728 on July 21, 2016, 05:28:07 pm
I was trying to lower water from a pool into a cistern to be pumped and cleared... I screwed up the channeling and started dumping water into my grizzly bear breeding room.... good thing they all got out
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derro on July 22, 2016, 07:19:37 am
1. Create burrow.
2. Designate both fortress's upper level and lower level.
3. Forget to designate area between those two.
4. Wonder why no one is getting any building materials from downstairs, or why the miners won't work.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: scourge728 on July 22, 2016, 03:42:27 pm
Wagons keep breaking themselves on corpses and it's really getting annoying
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: vekar on July 23, 2016, 03:53:54 pm
Wagons keep breaking themselves ON THEMSELVES. This has been the leading cause of my forts being retired/abandoned, once this cycle starts it never ends. Armok cursed suicide wagons.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derro on July 26, 2016, 03:42:03 pm
Imprison merchants. Find out axedwarf caravan guard didn't get locked in. Open doors so that axedwarf hopefully gets in. Merchants get out instead, and immediately start berserking.

Result: a caged merchant, a dead merchant and a dead water buffalo. In a reanimating biome.

Many a palm was faced.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on July 27, 2016, 02:57:12 am
started 43 with LNP and used nebulatron's embark profile
ordered trees to be cut down, but nothing happened
thought game fault -> save restart game, but problem still exists
thought corrupt world -> started new world, but problem still exists
i created a few more worlds until i remembered that wooden axes couldn't be used for cutting trees anymore :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Random_Dragon on July 29, 2016, 09:30:12 pm
Oh FUCK me. So I discovered why I have a fuckton of willow spears and no raw adamantine spears. You know how normally only obsidian is usable for stone weapons? Turns out if you use the details screen to specify the desired stone, it makes a wooden weapon instead. Which normally isn't REQUIRED unless you mod more types of stone to be usable for that, but you can indeed replicate this bug in vanilla.

Issue reported here: http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/mantisbt/view.php?id=9943 (http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/mantisbt/view.php?id=9943)

Guess I'm gonna get my fucking raw adamantine spears the old-fashioned way, by using stockpile link fuckery to ensure the fuckers use the right stone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yerland on August 01, 2016, 05:25:54 am
My woodcutter dropping a tree on my other woodcutter exploding his leg into gore...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: scourge728 on August 01, 2016, 10:32:38 am
My woodcutter dropped a tree on himself
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JumpingJack on August 02, 2016, 01:16:06 pm
This was on an older version of the game, but the memory still sticks with me as my first instance of Fun. I started up a new fort, among my firsts since I learned the basics. I decided to experiment with a different layout than usual, where all the workshops were aligned in parallel rows along the length of a hall. No doors or anything to separate them, just one big hall full of shops. At the far end of the hall, opposite its entrance, was a recently-built well. I had already had some trouble building said well, due to some bad constructions orders and then the water freezing. But everything eventually panned out, and my fort was running smoothly.

That is, of course, until the werebadger attacked. I still have no idea how it got inside, but at any rate, by the time I noticed the beast it was in the midst of my workshop hall. Since I had yet to have any problems I was without a military force, and had to promptly draft as many dwarves as possible. They were mostly lacking in any martial skills and resorted to pummeling the thing, receiving surprisingly few injuries in return. The werebadger quickly turned back into its regular form, a human, and proceeded to sprint as fast as he could to the nearest exit: right down the well.

Though the water wasn't terribly deep, I suppose the injuries he sustained after transforming kept him from being able to swim. He died shortly thereafter, contaminating the well with his blood and causing a cloud of miasma to annually rise up and fill a large portion of the hall. I wasn't actually sure how to extract the corpse without drowning some of my dwarves too, so I just abandoned the place. I've been spacing things a bit farther apart since then. :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TeeJeepie on August 05, 2016, 06:44:53 am
A danger room I designed with nearly 500 wooden training spears (it took a LONG time to create) in 43.05 put 20 dwarfs fully clad in metal armor in hospital with one pull of the lever, because I forgot that there is a new mechanic that accounts for the force applied by weapons. ha ha. they all got knocked unconscious... I felt awe-full... when they recovered I put them back in and the same thing happened... The danger in this room is too high, too high... I keep putting them back in for some reason...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: scourge728 on August 07, 2016, 02:10:27 pm
Welp my dwarves lost a giant bat IN A CAGE!!!!  >:(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Corune on August 07, 2016, 08:10:49 pm
The first time I played DF I regenerated the world map three times because I didn't realize that sand was "soil"... It just goes to show, RTFM. ;P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dirst on August 07, 2016, 08:30:18 pm
Quote from: Corune on August 07, 2016, 08:10:49 pm
The first time I played DF I regenerated the world map three times because I didn't realize that sand was "soil"... It just goes to show, RTFM. ;P
"There's a manual?" -- Ralph Hinkley
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pikachu17 on August 09, 2016, 10:45:21 am
I created a huge hallway between the Surface and the Fortress. I made a hallway covered with booze(in case of dragon, It'll make them explode), with bridges airlocking it out. Then a weapon trap that causes them to dodge into a pit. then they come to the room where the archers one level above kill the dudes, while the people get stuck in traps and stuff. then after that they have to go down a hallway while the archers continue shooting at them. then there's a bridge in case they survive. so I was renovating the barracks with the view to the outside, where the archers train, and can shoot at outside enemies. I was renovating the roof to be glass windows so that they wouldn't have cave adaption, when suddenly a small army of giant keas came into the fort by the hole in the roof, and began massacring the fort. did I mention that I hadn't made any armor yet?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Z49000 on August 09, 2016, 10:55:46 pm
I remember once catapulting a... fisherman, I think, and a cat into the air with my old fort's drawbridge. the fisherman lived, but the poor little kitty fell into the chasm we called a moat. Sadly it didn't survive.

I also remember have some (very particularly stupid) dwarves climb up trees, and either died of starvation or dehydration.

Those drunken idiots...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on August 09, 2016, 11:10:19 pm
Quote from: Z49000 on August 09, 2016, 10:55:46 pm
I also remember have some (very particularly stupid) dwarves climb up trees, and either died of starvation or dehydration.

Those drunken idiots...

In my current fort (which I need to fire back up), I have a corpse in a tree that I have been meaning to memorialize for a while now.  It seems, however, that I cannot cut the dang thing down.  I guess I need to look up that particular bug.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Z49000 on August 09, 2016, 11:17:41 pm
Quote from: Rockphed on August 09, 2016, 11:10:19 pm
Quote from: Z49000 on August 09, 2016, 10:55:46 pm
I also remember have some (very particularly stupid) dwarves climb up trees, and either died of starvation or dehydration.

Those drunken idiots...

In my current fort (which I need to fire back up), I have a corpse in a tree that I have been meaning to memorialize for a while now.  It seems, however, that I cannot cut the dang thing down.  I guess I need to look up that particular bug.

Yeah. It might have something to do with creatures approaching the woodcutters- that fort was situated in a savage forest, where badger men were fairly uncommon.
But as a precaution: deforest the entire embark site!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: JumpingJack on August 10, 2016, 01:40:15 pm
Quote from: Z49000 on August 09, 2016, 11:17:41 pm
Quote from: Rockphed on August 09, 2016, 11:10:19 pm
In my current fort (which I need to fire back up), I have a corpse in a tree that I have been meaning to memorialize for a while now.  It seems, however, that I cannot cut the dang thing down.  I guess I need to look up that particular bug.

Yeah. It might have something to do with creatures approaching the woodcutters- that fort was situated in a savage forest, where badger men were fairly uncommon.
But as a precaution: deforest the entire embark site!
Or, you know, settle an area without trees, like a desert. :P

While you're at it, you could always build a glorious pyramid to house any annoying dearly departed nobility.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Z49000 on August 10, 2016, 01:44:56 pm
Quote from: JumpingJack on August 10, 2016, 01:40:15 pm
Quote from: Z49000 on August 09, 2016, 11:17:41 pm
Quote from: Rockphed on August 09, 2016, 11:10:19 pm
In my current fort (which I need to fire back up), I have a corpse in a tree that I have been meaning to memorialize for a while now.  It seems, however, that I cannot cut the dang thing down.  I guess I need to look up that particular bug.

Yeah. It might have something to do with creatures approaching the woodcutters- that fort was situated in a savage forest, where badger men were fairly uncommon.
But as a precaution: deforest the entire embark site!
Or, you know, settle an area without trees, like a desert. :P

While you're at it, you could always build a glorious pyramid to house any annoying dearly departed nobility.

That works too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Spehss _ on August 10, 2016, 03:43:29 pm
Been trying to set up a minecart pressure plate system to build an execution pit with repeating spikes linked to the plates. Never messed with presure plates much, never messed with minecarts on tracks or moving minecarts with rollers or impulse ramps. Basically no experience building complex minecart based machinery.

Despite linking the plates, setting the appropriate weights and to trigger on tracks, and getting the minecart to move through the track correctly and run over the plates, the spikes and plates didn't respond. The plates didn't seem to go off.

Turns out that building pressure plates on a floor and setting their trigger to Tracks won't work. They need to be built on tracks, not just floors. I'll need to deconstruct the pressure plates and build tracks first, then rebuild and relink the plates.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ptolom on August 11, 2016, 07:45:26 am
I brought native copper, wood and an anvil, planning to smelt the copper and forge my own picks. Somehow I accidentally brought native copper blocks instead of nuggets which you can't smelt. Now we have to live in a leaky hut with a charcoal roof and wait for Autumn.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BlueBuilding on August 12, 2016, 06:43:07 pm
When I was younger to the game, I didn't know how to remove slopes so, three years later prior to embark, I get a siege.

 "Then I'm like, Well I have walls and traps set, and I have a (Worst)Great Military!"

 Ushat Febnakas has been found dead.
 
 "How did they get in?"

 I look to see ten goblins running around killing livestock in my fort, I lose sixty people out of one-hundred.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: overseer05-15 on August 12, 2016, 11:28:54 pm
This isn't ingame, but when I found out that some avatars weren't broken links bit images of broken links.
Title: discovering...
Post by: Aokoen on August 13, 2016, 02:36:49 pm
I discovered that LNP is using an elder version of Dwarf fortress and so i was playing rolling between 2 saves, without knowing why i change my save...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cynicalsob on August 18, 2016, 02:39:52 pm
Hi! I`ve been playing df occasionally for couple of years and recently after reading the Glacedcoast LP i just had to get my own fort shenanigans up and running again.
Been lurking the forums too since i first found this magnificent game so a long time lurker first time poster, and what a better way to introduce myself to the df community than
the facepalm thread.

And my facepalm submission(allthough i`ve had my fair share of those over the years, this is the most recent).
Deciding to do a little house renovation to my "impenetrable fortress" by deconstructing some wall sections to be replaced with fortifications
for my(at the moment nonexistent)marksdwarfs to shoot at the invaders, doing so collapsing something on one of the drawbridges right at the moment i get sieged.
So with open (broken) gates, the city of Mamgoziton welcomes a group of about 300 goblins war trolls and beakdogs http://imgur.com/a/Nqc6l (http://imgur.com/a/Nqc6l)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: xandalis on August 19, 2016, 04:57:08 am
I just had one in my current fortress, Alathlisid (Boltclash)... My civ caravan stopped showing up after a few years, and I had just been chalking it up to a bug. That is, until I was checking the relationships of a few of my dwarves while looking for candidates for arranged marriage. I noticed that one of them had a few consorts listed as cousins. Consorts, who were slain by my guards, when I ordered them to kill every non-fortress person in the public tavern (it was in retaliation for an earlier beating of the dwarf who I made captain of the guard, a year earlier, by a bunch of humans and elves. He was hospitalized with severe injuries, but survived). I thought there were only non-dwarves present when the order was given... But the strange thing is, no loyalty cascade happened. I guess Boltclash declared independence while I wasn't looking.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on August 19, 2016, 05:24:19 am
Carefully installed several pressure plates set to 0 to 2 water and link them all. Didn't prototype because it isn't minecarts or worldgen.

Find that the pressure plates never turn on, even after being submerged and unsubmerged; Should have made those 1 to 2/7.

Ow.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StarWars1981 on August 19, 2016, 04:51:06 pm
Saw Giant Gray Langurs enter fort (giant monkeys capable of killing unarmed/armored dwarves). Got distracted. Forgot to send out militia.
Result: Two dead dwarves and ANOTHER CRIPPLED METALWORKER.
Blast it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: NeoSilverThorn on August 26, 2016, 01:47:04 pm
Had an alligator maim my only planter the other day when said planter was getting a drink from the irrigation channel.  That was kinda fun.  I was facepalming because it would be Urist McPlantstuff, sole planter and farmer of the fort, wouldn't it?

Didn't cripple the fort, but it did make booze a bit thin on the ground until the migrants got in with a couple of farmers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derro on August 28, 2016, 08:25:35 am
Quote from: Ptolom on August 11, 2016, 07:45:26 am
I brought native copper, wood and an anvil, planning to smelt the copper and forge my own picks. Somehow I accidentally brought native copper blocks instead of nuggets which you can't smelt. Now we have to live in a leaky hut with a charcoal roof and wait for Autumn.

Can't you use 'melt a metal object' to turn the blocks into bars?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on August 28, 2016, 08:41:10 am
Quote from: Derro on August 28, 2016, 08:25:35 am
Quote from: Ptolom on August 11, 2016, 07:45:26 am
I brought native copper, wood and an anvil, planning to smelt the copper and forge my own picks. Somehow I accidentally brought native copper blocks instead of nuggets which you can't smelt. Now we have to live in a leaky hut with a charcoal roof and wait for Autumn.
Can't you use 'melt a metal object' to turn the blocks into bars?
If he had brought copper blocks, sure, but he brought native copper blocks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pearofclubs on August 30, 2016, 03:36:01 pm
I had set up a drowning chamber swimming pool for my militia, so nice of me, right?  This way they can get exercise and learn to swim in a safe-ish environment.

My militia captain, a legendary swordsdwarf, took lunch while I was setting it up and was on his way back when the lever was thrown.

Guess who needed a memorial slab because a full set of steel armor doesn't actually help against a closing drawbridge?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mirrizin on September 08, 2016, 01:43:13 pm
Just saw a dwarf pick a fight with a coati.

Not a giant coati, mind, an ordinary coati.

The dwarf lost, and is now entombed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on September 10, 2016, 10:21:17 am
I let an enemy elf escape alive.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dirst on September 10, 2016, 12:09:39 pm
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on September 10, 2016, 10:21:17 am
I let an enemy elf escape alive.
This is the facepalm thread, not the seppuku thread.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on September 10, 2016, 07:23:00 pm
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on September 10, 2016, 10:21:17 am
I let an enemy elf escape alive.
It's okay. With 0.40's world activation, there's a good chance they'll come back a second time!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CABL on September 13, 2016, 03:46:47 am
When your dwarves can't destroy bridge due to downward staircases, instead of up/down staircases, and you think that something wrong with the game. (How woodcutter and the bunch before managed to go on the surface? Climbing?)

EDIT: Looks like i figured out how my dwarves were able to access surface. When i used "remove staircases/ramps" to clean moat from the ramps, i also forgot to use "remove designation" from the staircases, making my dwarves turn perfectly fine up/down stairs to just down stairs. Lesson learned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mangame5 on September 14, 2016, 07:05:22 am
The first time I wanted to have a well in the Dining Room/Meeting Hall, I didn't use any floodgates. I was fully aware of the communicating vessels principle, but for some reason I thought that the well would block the water.
Big cistern under the well (Several tiles long and wide, even a few Z levels down) filled up rather quickly, so did the rest of the fortress.

[EDIT]

Thought that you had to do very weird stuff with stockpiles and workshops to get neatly colored furniture done, so things looked well. Props to Fleeting Frames for telling me how easily one can do this. ("After you give a job to make furniture, go into 'd'etails - you can specify stone...")

[EDIT]
This just happened in my fortress:
Enormous siege shows up. They can't get over the river and seem to be buggering off.
At the same time, a titan shows up:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Fishery worker punches the titan's head off:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Goblins see the event, finally face their fears and get over the river.
Bummer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Detros on September 17, 2016, 07:25:43 am
Quote from: mangame5 on September 14, 2016, 07:05:22 am
Thought that you had to do very weird stuff with stockpiles and workshops to get neatly colored furniture done, so things looked well. Props to Fleeting Frames for telling me how easily one can do this. ("After you give a job to make furniture, go into 'd'etails - you can specify stone...")
This got in only recently, in update 0.43.01 from May 2016 ("Can specify materials/images/etc. in work orders").
Linked stockpile magery worked before and still works.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on September 17, 2016, 10:38:41 am
Quote from: Detros on September 17, 2016, 07:25:43 am
This got in only recently, in update 0.43.01 from May 2016 ("Can specify materials/images/etc. in work orders").
Linked stockpile magery worked before and still works.
That's great *proceeds to do it in 42.06 LNP all the time anyway*

Not sure when it was added, but for things it is unavailable - such as mill plants to specify dimple cup rather than any flour plants - there's also dfhack's alt-a for workshop-job.

What you're speaking about is manager work orders, not workshop jobs :v Indeed .43, but this was before that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ildac on September 20, 2016, 03:35:23 am
The soldier and the bard who refused to go to their burrow, just so they could socialize in the tavern.

Did I mention they were both weregiraffes just waiting to introduce my fortress to the joys of lycanthropy?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Z49000 on September 22, 2016, 08:38:57 pm
One of my miners manage to cave a large area where the moat would be. She was crushed alongside a stray cat.

Interestingly, her corpse was moved to the corpse pile, but was declared missing later... Methinks one of the fort members had a vendetta, and didn't want her corpse ever found.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ironsnake345 on September 23, 2016, 12:40:08 pm
I've been playing a fortress for a while and thanks to cistern mishaps, there ended up being a large amount of rocks and an abandoned baby at the bottom of the cistern. I realised I'm going to want some flood control, so I built a floodgate and forgot to open it, and for the most part forgot about the tiny dwarven baby who was learning to swim at the bottom of the cistern. Quite a while later, I'm having a look at the well, and I had mostly forgotten about the whole fiasco, and I notice that there's a corpse at the bottom of the cistern. My response at this point is "Oh right, somebody died in there. Why do all my cistern projects claim dwarven lives? seriously, nothing else ever kills my workers but digging out a cistern." A long time later that day, I suddenly get an alert that someone was found dead of dehydration. My first thought is a mix of "Oh crap, I need to fill the cistern" and "oh crap, people aren't taking from the cistern because the water's bloody." Then I view the alert and have a close look at its location.

It was the baby stuck swimming in the cistern. It died of dehydration, in the middle of a huge four-deep pool of water.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheBiggerFish on September 23, 2016, 12:53:34 pm
.....Wow.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on September 24, 2016, 10:27:18 am
Forgot to remove fireimmune from a caste of my custom fortress race.  Prompting one of the traders to attempt to ford his donkey through the magma moat.

It went about as well as could be expected.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheBiggerFish on September 24, 2016, 11:03:33 am
Quote from: Greiger on September 24, 2016, 10:27:18 am
Forgot to remove fireimmune from a caste of my custom fortress race.  Prompting one of the traders to attempt to ford his donkey through the magma moat.

It went about as well as could be expected.
Whooooops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Random_Dragon on September 24, 2016, 11:12:20 am
Quote from: ironsnake345 on September 23, 2016, 12:40:08 pm
It was the baby stuck swimming in the cistern. It died of dehydration, in the middle of a huge four-deep pool of water.

I...what. Why. How.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Greiger on September 24, 2016, 11:57:47 am
Quote from: TheBiggerFish on September 24, 2016, 11:03:33 am
Quote from: Greiger on September 24, 2016, 10:27:18 am
Forgot to remove fireimmune from a caste of my custom fortress race.  Prompting one of the traders to attempt to ford his donkey through the magma moat.

It went about as well as could be expected.
Whooooops.
I think the best part is that the caste is no longer temperature immune either. They only have some minor heat resistance.  Enough to survive a wildfire but nowhere near lava bath levels.  So it's not like the trader himself lived either.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mikekchar on September 24, 2016, 06:19:28 pm
After reading the wiki for the hundredth time I finally got it.  There are no down ramps in this game.  There are only empty spaces with up ramps below them.  I'm thinking of editing my font so that the down arrow is a very small up arrow to remind me.

Relatedly 'd->z' removes the ramps/slopes.  You have no idea the gyrations (and inadvertent cave ins) that I've gone through trying to remove slopes...

The way it finally clicked for me was I wanted to colour my "down ramps" yellow (so they are more visible).  I already had slopes there and I was beating my head against the wall trying to figure out how to replace them with orthoclase ramps.  There are quite a lot of tutorials for DF around, but I wonder if having a list of small tasks like this would be helpful for newbies.  Possibly it already exists...

Edit: I changed my font and indeed it is much more understandable to me.  I made a half sized up arrow, but because it was a bit difficult to notice slopes on the edge of hills, I added an underline as well.  It works really well, especially for slopes around water which never looked to me like they were down one Z level.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beesarewatchingyou on October 01, 2016, 08:59:40 am
My dwarves just hauled literally every single item (including every piece of ice that happened to be lying around) in the fortress to the trade depot, and there was nothing I could do to stop them. I disabled all hauling on everybody, I manually went through every item in the fortress and unmarked it for trading, everything, and they still continued moving everything to the depot. I couldn't get them to destroy the depot because they were too busy hauling things to the depot, and that seems to take priority over almost every other job.

The traders finally left and now I have to make them haul everything back to the stockpiles. What an absolute pain, I can't believe this happened. A bunch of mandates got missed, no bedrooms got built for the new migrants and now everyone is on the brink of rioting. The worst thing is I have no idea why it happened at all.

I'm just glad I managed to get someone to close the drawbridge, otherwise a thralling dust cloud would have floated right into the depot where everyone was messing around.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist the CaveBear on October 01, 2016, 03:57:17 pm
Recently I crushed Queen As Vigormirrored under the drawbridge.  I didn't even realized what I'd done until I got the "so-and-so is missing" notification a week later.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist the CaveBear on October 01, 2016, 03:58:08 pm
Quote from: Beesarewatchingyou on October 01, 2016, 08:59:40 am
My dwarves just hauled literally every single item (including every piece of ice that happened to be lying around) in the fortress to the trade depot, and there was nothing I could do to stop them. I disabled all hauling on everybody, I manually went through every item in the fortress and unmarked it for trading, everything, and they still continued moving everything to the depot. I couldn't get them to destroy the depot because they were too busy hauling things to the depot, and that seems to take priority over almost every other job.

The traders finally left and now I have to make them haul everything back to the stockpiles. What an absolute pain, I can't believe this happened. A bunch of mandates got missed, no bedrooms got built for the new migrants and now everyone is on the brink of rioting. The worst thing is I have no idea why it happened at all.

I'm just glad I managed to get someone to close the drawbridge, otherwise a thralling dust cloud would have floated right into the depot where everyone was messing around.

Did you try deconstructing the Trade Depot?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on October 01, 2016, 04:22:39 pm
Quote from: Urist the CaveBear on October 01, 2016, 03:58:08 pm
Quote from: Beesarewatchingyou on October 01, 2016, 08:59:40 am
My dwarves just hauled literally every single item (including every piece of ice that happened to be lying around) in the fortress to the trade depot, and there was nothing I could do to stop them. I disabled all hauling on everybody, I manually went through every item in the fortress and unmarked it for trading, everything, and they still continued moving everything to the depot. I couldn't get them to destroy the depot because they were too busy hauling things to the depot, and that seems to take priority over almost every other job.

The traders finally left and now I have to make them haul everything back to the stockpiles. What an absolute pain, I can't believe this happened. A bunch of mandates got missed, no bedrooms got built for the new migrants and now everyone is on the brink of rioting. The worst thing is I have no idea why it happened at all.

I'm just glad I managed to get someone to close the drawbridge, otherwise a thralling dust cloud would have floated right into the depot where everyone was messing around.

Did you try deconstructing the Trade Depot?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beesarewatchingyou on October 01, 2016, 07:17:00 pm
Quote from: Urist the CaveBear on October 01, 2016, 03:58:08 pm
Quote from: Beesarewatchingyou on October 01, 2016, 08:59:40 am
My dwarves just hauled literally every single item (including every piece of ice that happened to be lying around) in the fortress to the trade depot, and there was nothing I could do to stop them. I disabled all hauling on everybody, I manually went through every item in the fortress and unmarked it for trading, everything, and they still continued moving everything to the depot. I couldn't get them to destroy the depot because they were too busy hauling things to the depot, and that seems to take priority over almost every other job.

The traders finally left and now I have to make them haul everything back to the stockpiles. What an absolute pain, I can't believe this happened. A bunch of mandates got missed, no bedrooms got built for the new migrants and now everyone is on the brink of rioting. The worst thing is I have no idea why it happened at all.

I'm just glad I managed to get someone to close the drawbridge, otherwise a thralling dust cloud would have floated right into the depot where everyone was messing around.

Did you try deconstructing the Trade Depot?

Yeah, I tried. The hauling seemed to take priority over destroying the depot, so they wouldn't do it. The only things they seemed willing to do other than hauling were flip levers, eat and drink. Very weird incident. I'm just glad it happened sooner rather than later in the fortress's life, at least my legendary mason didn't get hammered for missing a quern mandate or something.

All I can say is it was probably my fault somehow. I haven't had a caravan since then, so for all I know it could happen again next time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist the CaveBear on October 02, 2016, 06:17:24 am
If there's one thing about running a Dwarf Fortress, it's that when things go to FUN!, it's usually your fault somehow.

Also, my bad somehow, I missed the sentence where you specifically answered my question in your post, oops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derro on October 02, 2016, 12:15:23 pm
I had two suspected infected after a wereskink attack, so I put them in a side room. Only one turned out to be infected, and is currently devouring the other dwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mikekchar on October 02, 2016, 08:35:35 pm
Quote from: Derro on October 02, 2016, 12:15:23 pm
I had two suspected infected after a wereskink attack, so I put them in a side room. Only one turned out to be infected, and is currently devouring the other dwarf.

Easiest way to deal with this is to put the suspected werebeasts in the military and station them on the corners of the map, out of sight of the others.  You can do this 1-2 days before the full moon (but just keep an eye on them to see if they do something stupid like go to get a drink).    If they can't see anything to attack, they will just stand there.

Now that you have a werebeast, if you want to keep them alive, you just need to remember to station them somewhere secluded every month (warning: the full moon shifts by 2 days every month!).  I built a small hut (without a door!) for mine so he didn't get rained on.  You should also give them a flask/waterskin so that they always have a drink, which will reduce the occurrences of them wandering off to get a drink right at the full moon.  Also, if you get seiged, werebeast is out the door, obviously since you can't reasonably open up all the gates at full moon.

Basically, as long a nobody sees the transformed dwarf, you will be a-OK.  If you make a mistake, and a dwarf starts attacking/being attacked, do *not* attempt to save them.  Burrow your guys out of sight.  If anyone witnesses the attack, it can cause a loyalty cascade which can take out half your fortress.

I notice many people being frustrated with werebeasts, but while fiddly, they are not that hard to manage.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Yerland on October 05, 2016, 02:28:55 pm
Were beast infected dwarfs are too much fun for me, I arrange for unfortunate accidents for any infected. It's somewhat cruel but better than a mistake leading to a loyalty Cascade.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on October 05, 2016, 09:50:08 pm
I haven't ever done anything with werebeasts, but they did lead to the fastest fortress death in any fort I've played. 150 to 30 dwarves in a handful of ticks, and down to 8 by the end of the full moon. Five werebeasts transformed in the crowded hallway while the whole fort hauled crafts to the depot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Beesarewatchingyou on October 05, 2016, 11:22:50 pm
As I've mentioned elsewhere , I got my legendary axelord killed by a duckling. At the time I didn't understand that dwarves could do labours they've got no skill in, so he never got diagnosed (no diagnosers) and died from an infected cut. The worst part is, the duckling survived.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on October 06, 2016, 11:33:58 am
Something something even the mightiest can be felled by something something.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derro on October 08, 2016, 01:43:58 am
The beak is mightier than the axe?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mangame5 on October 09, 2016, 08:24:18 am
Not checking that a backup containing a DF-related project is actually functional!
Uff, well that's a cartload of hours down the drain.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ReynTheLord on October 10, 2016, 07:22:54 pm
So i'm a noob at Fortress mode, so this will be a fun story.

Can't do butchering, because all the things be rotting

Facepalm counter:1
Oh no, I can't have good things because Miasma when there's nothing that can rot underground.
Facepalm counter:2
Kobolds stealing my shit without military notice
Facepalm counter:3
Oh, First real raid i have is a werelizard. HOW FUCKING FUN!
Facepalm counter:4
Don't have supplies for medical stuff
Facepalm counter :6
Oh, fuck me, everyones going werecreature, and the majority of my population died.
Facepalm counter:7
Abandon ship, Abandon fortress!
Facepalm counter:8
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mr_seeker on October 12, 2016, 11:07:30 am
First month on the job for the newly appointed Count Urist McDwarf (and my first Count ever, hurray!):

Count Urist McDwarf enforces a mandate: Make an axe.
/me being pissed off at count for this mandate, since I don't have any metal.
Count Urist McDwarf suddenly ends the mandate.
/me wonders why the sudden ending of the mandate, since I still don't have any metal.
/me finds Urist McDwarf underneath a giant cave toad, crushed to death.
*me facepalms for its stupidity, and starts wondering when/if the queen will appoint a new count*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dirst on October 12, 2016, 11:18:42 am
Quote from: mr_seeker on October 12, 2016, 11:07:30 am
First month on the job for the newly appointed Count Urist McDwarf (and my first Count ever, hurray!):

Count Urist McDwarf enforces a mandate: Make an axe.
/me being pissed off at count for this mandate, since I don't have any metal.
Count Urist McDwarf suddenly ends the mandate.
/me wonders why the sudden ending of the mandate, since I still don't have any metal.
/me finds Urist McDwarf underneath a giant cave toad, crushed to death.
*me facepalms for its stupidity, and starts wondering when/if the queen will appoint a new count*
This wasn't a facepalm, it was a historic occasion.  A noble realized that his mandate was impossible, but being too stubborn to recind it, did the next best thing by arranging his own Unfortunate Accident!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on October 13, 2016, 07:58:16 am
Quote from: Dirst on October 12, 2016, 11:18:42 am
Quote from: mr_seeker on October 12, 2016, 11:07:30 am
First month on the job for the newly appointed Count Urist McDwarf (and my first Count ever, hurray!):

Count Urist McDwarf enforces a mandate: Make an axe.
/me being pissed off at count for this mandate, since I don't have any metal.
Count Urist McDwarf suddenly ends the mandate.
/me wonders why the sudden ending of the mandate, since I still don't have any metal.
/me finds Urist McDwarf underneath a giant cave toad, crushed to death.
*me facepalms for its stupidity, and starts wondering when/if the queen will appoint a new count*
This wasn't a facepalm, it was a historic occasion.  A noble realized that his mandate was impossible, but being too stubborn to recind it, did the next best thing by arranging his own Unfortunate Accident!

Maybe the Mayor / Captain of the Guard arranged for the accident. I approve...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ReynTheLord on October 18, 2016, 01:35:10 pm
Quote from: gunpowdertea on October 13, 2016, 07:58:16 am
Quote from: Dirst on October 12, 2016, 11:18:42 am
Quote from: mr_seeker on October 12, 2016, 11:07:30 am
First month on the job for the newly appointed Count Urist McDwarf (and my first Count ever, hurray!):

Count Urist McDwarf enforces a mandate: Make an axe.
/me being pissed off at count for this mandate, since I don't have any metal.
Count Urist McDwarf suddenly ends the mandate.
/me wonders why the sudden ending of the mandate, since I still don't have any metal.
/me finds Urist McDwarf underneath a giant cave toad, crushed to death.
*me facepalms for its stupidity, and starts wondering when/if the queen will appoint a new count*
This wasn't a facepalm, it was a historic occasion.  A noble realized that his mandate was impossible, but being too stubborn to recind it, did the next best thing by arranging his own Unfortunate Accident!

Maybe the Mayor / Captain of the Guard arranged for the accident. I approve...

(https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/418880570739810304/2mU066Wa_400x400.jpeg) THAT'LL TEACH EM, EH?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Auldben on October 22, 2016, 04:38:16 pm
I just had 8 dwarves die of thirst after beating a Blind Cave Ogre mercilessly for months. It just refuses to die.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ReynTheLord on October 23, 2016, 12:53:04 pm
Quote from: Auldben on October 22, 2016, 04:38:16 pm
I just had 8 dwarves die of thirst after beating a Blind Cave Ogre mercilessly for months. It just refuses to die.

"Dwarf fortress. Where the monsters won't die even though you slashed their neck with a silver two handed sword like, 10 or more times, when they're on the ground, Getting max damage hits.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ringringlingling on October 26, 2016, 01:44:39 am
Took me forever to realize i could farm on soil.  I kept trying to plant underground seeds on the surface and irrigate rock with water.  Also, when I realized I could be making metal goblets, (especially gold goblets) i kicked myself for making hundreds of rock mugs for trading to the trade caravan.

(Of course, that was before dwarves actually used cups)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FantasticDorf on October 26, 2016, 05:12:39 am
Quote from: ReynTheLord on October 23, 2016, 12:53:04 pm
Quote from: Auldben on October 22, 2016, 04:38:16 pm
I just had 8 dwarves die of thirst after beating a Blind Cave Ogre mercilessly for months. It just refuses to die.

"Dwarf fortress. Where the monsters won't die even though you slashed their neck with a silver two handed sword like, 10 or more times, when they're on the ground, Getting max damage hits.

The trick is to hit them in the face using facial features like the nose with a blunt object and pray that it lodges.

A personal facepalm for me was overconfidence, zombies with low-midtier tools are hard to take down because their heads are essentially made out of rubber. So i was whacking away with my goblin adventurer clad in iron with a copper warhammer breaking bones and ligaments but not actually doing anything to cave in skulls and kill the beasts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on October 26, 2016, 01:59:08 pm
How does having it lodge into wound help?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ReynTheLord on October 29, 2016, 09:29:44 pm
So I decide to order my dwarves to dig out a room, and at the same time, I increase the size of the damn stone stockpile significantly.
Guess what takes priority?
The fucking hauling.

(http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/848/540/7b9.jpg)

How I felt about that
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: steel jackal on October 29, 2016, 09:32:20 pm
Quote from: ReynTheLord on October 29, 2016, 09:29:44 pm
So I decide to order my dwarves to dig out a room, and at the same time, I increase the size of the damn stone stockpile significantly.
Guess what takes priority?
The fucking hauling.

(http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/848/540/7b9.jpg)

How I felt about that

try disabling hauling on your miners.
mine only ever have mining and stone detailing
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FantasticDorf on October 31, 2016, 08:56:08 am
Alternatively you could just use the work orders screen to forbid all stone (if that isn't heresy) if you dont mind not doing any jobs until its done.

> Digs complicated aquifer tundra penetrator, basically using clay and frustration, i was forming the inner circle where the stairs were into ice in a 5x5, periodically per layer i had to clear the stairs so i repaired them using a access channel on the left side, if you clear the corners up into ice with just a moment of exposure the aquifer water will freeze. Works like a charm.

   +++  
  +CCC+
+CCCCCCC+
+CCSCSCC+
+CCCCCCC+
  +CCC+
   +++


> Like a charm until i reached dry stone via some fumbling (because ice makes sometimes unusuable ramps, i had to get stairs down there and establish a way from my main stairwell all the way down) and i had to spend time making access to the stairs out of raw clay. I then made the arrogant mistake to dig the aquifer rock victoriously thinking id breached it, only to lo and behold to have my miners swept and frozen.

> A previous planning error with the prototype also meant that being outside in a all ice enclosed (walls and floors made of ice, no ceiling) room no bigger than 5x5 means that your workers will actually die of freezing (larger sizes untested). Which is a interesting return if you wanted to make a ice-box yeti pit. on a glacier because hardcore, though my goblin workers i was using were only wearing loincloths which were materially broken by the conditions.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Moonstone_Flower on November 16, 2016, 02:06:40 am
Embarked in an Age of Death world, as I figured it would be a nice diversion.  Immediately, I see that the dwarfs have parked the wagon in a bloody tree.  *Facepalm*  Despite this, I watch five of them scramble over and stand around it.  OK, fine, they can reach it.

Later...

In the midst of cutting out rooms for the first few below-ground workshops, I notice the "thirsty" arrow on the miner.

"Hmm, why are they not getting a drink?  Guess they're not thirsty enou- wait, why are they running back and forth?  This level's designations have priority..."

Set Follow on the miner, watch it go halfway out of the fort with "No Job", go back in, dig a few squares, repeat.  *Facepalm 2x*

On their way halfway out, they pass by the temporary "Almost Everything" stockpile.

...

Which was empty.

...

Half an hour after designating it.

...

They can't reach the fugging wagon.  *Facepalm 3x*


WHAT IN THE NAME OF ARMOK'S FLAMING PHALLUS

I look back at the wagon, and those initial five that went to it are still there with their beards up their collective arses.  They must have decided to climb the tree for some reason.  *Facepalm 4x Combo*

I ended up making a staircase out of coke from the top down just to gain access to the wagon and five dendrophiles.

Lesson:  Always embark with a few building materials in case of levitating wagons!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on November 16, 2016, 05:48:06 am
You could deconstruct the wagon, but I think it is more awesome in the tree-house. Hehehe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Moonstone_Flower on November 16, 2016, 06:21:14 am
Quote from: Fleeting Frames on November 16, 2016, 05:48:06 am
You could deconstruct the wagon, but I think it is more awesome in the tree-house. Hehehe.

The wagon's staying where it is as a reminder that wagons are not intended to be VTOL craft.  (The real reason is laziness and some level of what may be OCD, but it is also amusing to have a wagon stuck three levels up in a tree.)

Deconstructing it wouldn't help anyway, as there's a walkable floor there - all the supplies would probably just scatter around atop the tree's canopy.  I could have ordered the tree chopped down - one of the two that didn't immediately climb it was the woodcutter - but that would have likely resulted in six dead idiots.  Hurp durr, it finally dawned on me what you meant.  Unfortunately, that still would not have worked - I needed four stairs and the wagon would only provide three logs.

Edit:  I forgot to mention that the dwarfs started on a hill to the east of the apparently-a-VTOLport tree, so they were(past tense) all on solid ground initially.

Edit 2:  It was raining on arrival.  Presumably there was a lot of cloud cover.  This is why you do not attempt to fly under VFR in bad weather.  I'm guessing that dwarfs have no counterpart to the ICAO...  Do wagons even have avionics?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Libash_Thunderhead on November 16, 2016, 08:25:11 pm
I just realized I forgot to set stone property of the destination stockpile of a minecart qsp.

For years, the dorfs had been playing atlas stone until I corrected the mistake.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Moonstone_Flower on November 16, 2016, 09:56:29 pm
In a longer-running fort, one of my friends wanted me to name the cook after her.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: The cook's name:  Imushkn (click to show/hide)

*Facepalm*

She didn't know this before making her request.  I feel as though the universe is laughing at me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on November 17, 2016, 05:44:45 am
Digging, carving, building several parallel minecart kaolinite transport tracks...So I can turn them into porcelain and then use another route I have to bring the porcelain back to build site. When I have magma minecarts available.

>_>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on November 17, 2016, 09:23:25 am
i was wondering why my orders aren't done, until i foudn that my manager got killed during the last attack.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ultimuh on November 17, 2016, 09:59:10 am
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on November 17, 2016, 09:23:25 am
i was wondering why my orders aren't done, until i foudn that my manager got killed during the last attack.
For a moment there, I thought you meant in real life.
But then realized what forums this was in.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on November 21, 2016, 07:13:51 pm
Quote from: Ultimuh on November 17, 2016, 09:59:10 am
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on November 17, 2016, 09:23:25 am
i was wondering why my orders aren't done, until i foudn that my manager got killed during the last attack.
For a moment there, I thought you meant in real life.
But then realized what forums this was in.

If you didn't roll a bald Lallfell with that Levi server name, that's another facepalm.

I'm just.... saiyan.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ultimuh on November 21, 2016, 07:53:55 pm
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on November 21, 2016, 07:13:51 pm
Quote from: Ultimuh on November 17, 2016, 09:59:10 am
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on November 17, 2016, 09:23:25 am
i was wondering why my orders aren't done, until i foudn that my manager got killed during the last attack.
For a moment there, I thought you meant in real life.
But then realized what forums this was in.

If you didn't roll a bald Lallfell with that Levi server name, that's another facepalm.

I'm just.... saiyan.
Yes, he's bald. His job/class is.. uuh.. Monk I guess? Forgot the name of the class.. Was a while ago since I last played..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on November 25, 2016, 08:59:22 pm
Quote from: Ultimuh on November 21, 2016, 07:53:55 pm
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on November 21, 2016, 07:13:51 pm
Quote from: Ultimuh on November 17, 2016, 09:59:10 am
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on November 17, 2016, 09:23:25 am
i was wondering why my orders aren't done, until i foudn that my manager got killed during the last attack.
For a moment there, I thought you meant in real life.
But then realized what forums this was in.

If you didn't roll a bald Lallfell with that Levi server name, that's another facepalm.

I'm just.... saiyan.
Yes, he's bald. His job/class is.. uuh.. Monk I guess? Forgot the name of the class.. Was a while ago since I last played..

Bravo, sir.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vrakanas on November 28, 2016, 10:08:35 pm
Had a new fort chugging along nicely when i notice my 3 legendary miners are "missing" along with my mayor and legendary weaponsmith(mooded). So i immediatedly go into vamphunt lockdown. I build the special cell, i check the wiki and forums on how to find a vamp. Finally think I've found em and i lock the bugger away as a bookkeeper for all eternity. I mean they met ALL of the requirements, the signs were there. Even the rediculous abundance of job skills and socials.


Fast forward 2 months, no deaths.


Then the bastard dies of starvation. Que panic mode.
Turns out they were an immigrant uberdwarf from an old fort i retired. And were related to half my fort....


Needless to say my fort imploded on a tide of blood and angry dorfs. Got the vampire though. Buuuut with only 6 of 93 dwarves surviving i just abandoned after sealing the site with a wall, roof, and floors.

It was my dorfnobyl.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Baffler on November 29, 2016, 10:35:25 pm
Was filling up a series of water reactors to power a pump stack. I usually dig out the water channels one at a time and fill them with buckets, but this time I decided to set up a water delivery system, with an inflow from the river, storage tank, and depressurizer sized to keep the reactors at the optimal 50 units of water. When I was filling up the inflow tank, though, I noticed that I'd forgotten to patch a hole in the side of the thing.

I struck galena a short time into the excavation, and the miner had got herself stuck up in the mined out ore vein when the others dug the rest of the tank downward behind her, so I just dug an escape tunnel. The water from the river rushed through the ore vein, out the escape tunnel, and had flooded a good portion of the upper level of the fortress by the time I stopped fiddling with the reactors long enough to notice the catastrophe. Luckily I'd thought to install floodgates at the intake pipe and it only got to 3/7, but sump-pumping the entire fortress and cleaning all the mud off of everything isn't gonna be fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bool1989 on November 30, 2016, 01:42:44 pm
When I realized that the proper way to do multi-level rooms was to channel each level, not mine each level then channel the floor. I lost many dorfs to this method.   ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on December 01, 2016, 09:08:54 am
Finally channelled the riverbank to fill my moat.

Only, it turns out that the brook can't supply enough water. Not sure if that's because it's a scorching biome or the moat is just too big for the brook, but it's reached a steady state where the water evaporates as fast as it spreads. A third of the moat is dry and much of the rest is only 1/7 or 2/7 water.

sigh Time to build a pump stack/minecart track from the caverns...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: oldmansutton on December 01, 2016, 11:16:16 am
Quote from: imperium3 on December 01, 2016, 09:08:54 am
Finally channelled the riverbank to fill my moat.

Only, it turns out that the brook can't supply enough water. Not sure if that's because it's a scorching biome or the moat is just too big for the brook, but it's reached a steady state where the water evaporates as fast as it spreads. A third of the moat is dry and much of the rest is only 1/7 or 2/7 water.

sigh Time to build a pump stack/minecart track from the caverns...

I had this problem on my own map, also in a scorching biome, and then I realized.... oh... my moat has an exposed aquifer tile at the bottom of it, which offers infinite drainage...  so it's constantly draining about as fast as it fills.  Much facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StarWars1981 on December 01, 2016, 06:36:50 pm
You need to block it off somewhere early along this moat, so that you fill a reservoir; then dump it into the next blocked section so it doesn't get down the evaporation levels (the levels where it evaporates more quickly). Never expose more blocks than you can fill to 3/7 or better quickly. If you ever can't fill it any more from the brook (i.e. surface evaporation (not finishing-the-tile-off evaporation, which I believe is quicker) outruns the supply), THEN you get a pumpstack. Other than that, you shouldn't really need one, honestly. The brook should supply sufficient water for your moat, once you get it filled at least. GL on that. And do check the aquifer thing, lol, that would be an issue.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ringringlingling on December 02, 2016, 07:42:22 am
I had my miner channel a ramp down below to mine some adamantium and forgot to check if he could get back up.  He ended up dying stranded and I didn't find out about it until he'd been missing for a week.  Armok is not a cruel god, merely thoughtless.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on December 02, 2016, 07:51:23 am
Quote from: StarWars1981 on December 01, 2016, 06:36:50 pm
You need to block it off somewhere early along this moat, so that you fill a reservoir; then dump it into the next blocked section so it doesn't get down the evaporation levels (the levels where it evaporates more quickly). Never expose more blocks than you can fill to 3/7 or better quickly. If you ever can't fill it any more from the brook (i.e. surface evaporation (not finishing-the-tile-off evaporation, which I believe is quicker) outruns the supply), THEN you get a pumpstack. Other than that, you shouldn't really need one, honestly. The brook should supply sufficient water for your moat, once you get it filled at least. GL on that. And do check the aquifer thing, lol, that would be an issue.

Thanks. I don't have any aquifers on my map so that shouldn't be an issue (otherwise would be a much easier source of more water...).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: oldmansutton on December 02, 2016, 09:27:19 am
On the plus side, anybody foolish enough to set foot into my permanently draining "moat" has an insane amount of current pulling them down into the aquifer, so there's that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: anewaname on December 04, 2016, 03:09:02 am
Quote from: imperium3 on December 01, 2016, 09:08:54 am
Finally channelled the riverbank to fill my moat.
From the wiki "At high temperatures (usually found in Scorching climates) water can evaporate at greater depths, even 7/7. This is generally accompanied by the grass drying out and turning yellow. "  You might experience evaporation even when your moat is full, from whatever source, so you'll need a constant flow going in. What about diverting the entire brook? Run a few pumps to move water from the brook into the channel and wall the brook's downstream.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on December 04, 2016, 03:20:24 am
Maybe that evaporation would be less present if you lined your moat with nether-cap floors?

*edit* probing some nether-cap floor clouds I have laying around in hot biome I get 10055 urist temp. Guess not.

Actual facepalm, now:

After calculating few hours for other possible designs for exact month-long toggle (mainly to prevent individual training in inactive barracks, though swimming kids would be neat), realized that I can toggle between 299 and 301 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=145317.msg7251337#msg7251337) signals by just installing a retratcing bridge over ?. Which gives exactly a month with 112 pushes/cycle (ex. by high friction track stop, and 46/129 urist minecart weights).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on December 05, 2016, 05:24:36 am
Moat problems solved. Damming the brook's exit stream made a big difference (even though it was only 1 deep near there so I hadn't thought I was losing much), as did building a wall halfway along (the moat is 2z deep so it filled up all the way along, then overflowed the wall and filled up the other half). Worth noting that rain helps a lot too, as it seems to slow or stop evaporation.


Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: anewaname on December 07, 2016, 05:08:52 pm
You might have changed seasons and the rate of evaporation and rate of rain changed. Regions in Australia have dry seasons where there is just mud during the dry season where ponds or streams were. Some critters that depend on the water hibernate (http://"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aestivation").
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TV4Fun on December 09, 2016, 04:36:35 pm
After painstakingly plugging an aquifer, making it through and starting a fortress underneath, then accidentally digging into a portion of the aquifer that extended into a lower level and flooding that fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FakerFangirl on December 11, 2016, 09:48:42 pm
Couldn't finish constructing my catapults. Set two dwarves to do nothing but siege operating and architecture. Turns out my siege engineer was dead. He tried to rescue a comrade who had chosen to sleep in a forbidden corner of the fortress while a colossus was invading. I suicided 40 dwarves trying to save them, and then raged when a forgotten beast invaded the fort one month later. The forgotten beast died in one hit. I think I need a barracks dormitory for my squads. Also... When trees grew branches and creating floors nearby would cause game to crash :( And every time I've forgotten to clear a path to my depot >.>

Quote from: Fleeting Frames on December 04, 2016, 03:20:24 am
realized that I can toggle between 299 and 301 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=145317.msg7251337#msg7251337) signals by just installing a retratcing bridge over ?. Which gives exactly a month with 112 pushes/cycle (ex. by high friction track stop, and 46/129 urist minecart weights).
Oh - pshaw - yeah! *hunches shoulders* Totally obvious...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: King Kitteh on December 12, 2016, 02:02:06 am
One of my dwarves prefers to eat giant Moon Snails... Fair enough.
Oh, but he also absolutely detests Moon Snails.

Size matters I guess.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on December 12, 2016, 02:59:16 am
Quote from: King Kitteh on December 12, 2016, 02:02:06 am
One of my dwarves prefers to eat giant Moon Snails... Fair enough.
Oh, but he also absolutely detests Moon Snails.

Size matters I guess.

I have a friend who hates and fears fish.  She absolutely loves eating sea-food.  Maybe it is the same with this guy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on December 12, 2016, 08:13:13 am
Quote from: FakerFangirl on December 11, 2016, 09:48:42 pm
Oh - pshaw - yeah! *hunches shoulders* Totally obvious...
Thanks for quoting me. I now look at it and realize that it can't be right, it wouldn't toggle between different ramp slants but ramp slant and flat...and test reveals it does act as stop button instead >_>

Back to drawing board, I guess.

Ah well. At least can still just use two of them and wedged grate or bridge to toggle whether 299 or 301 input is used alternatively. Kinda works for month-long timer, but not so much for shorter ones.

Or put 301 and 299 opposing each other for 299^2 steps per two pushes...Which is far too large and clumsy to be useful for much anything expect perhaps child seals, what's with 9,02 pushes fitting in a year.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FakerFangirl on December 12, 2016, 12:55:56 pm
I don't know how to make bridges OR minecart tracks. Still trying to make plaster powder, chain mail, and enough coffins/caskets. Then I can think about steel or power generators.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on December 12, 2016, 05:50:54 pm
One of the resident dukes has made a demand!

A steel bed in his room.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on December 12, 2016, 07:28:10 pm
Quote from: imperium3 on December 12, 2016, 05:50:54 pm
One of the resident dukes has made a demand!

A steel bed in his room.
Thoughts and Preferences loves BDSM :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on December 12, 2016, 08:29:57 pm
Quote from: King Kitteh on December 12, 2016, 02:02:06 am
One of my dwarves prefers to eat giant Moon Snails... Fair enough.
Oh, but he also absolutely detests Moon Snails.
The only good Moon Snail is a prepared Moon Snail.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: fearlesslittletoaster on December 13, 2016, 01:51:32 am
Quote from: imperium3 on December 12, 2016, 05:50:54 pm
One of the resident dukes has made a demand!

A steel bed in his room.

Got you beat. Mine wants a Chipmunk tooth bed. I'm debating the value of him being alive versus not exactly being alive anymore...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on December 13, 2016, 03:30:23 am
While they'll be just sort of disappointed if you fail a demand, is that even theoretically possible? Bonecrafters don't use such teeth, fell moods require a live being, macabre moods use remains....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dozebm Lolumzals on December 13, 2016, 05:45:48 am
try chicken tooth, it's easier to identify as an upward middle finger pointing toward the screen

This inscrutable shitpost brought to you by DOZEBOM
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on December 13, 2016, 06:53:19 am
Quote from: fearlesslittletoaster on December 13, 2016, 01:51:32 am
Quote from: imperium3 on December 12, 2016, 05:50:54 pm
One of the resident dukes has made a demand!

A steel bed in his room.

Got you beat. Mine wants a Chipmunk tooth bed. I'm debating the value of him being alive versus not exactly being alive anymore...

"Yes, it was very sad. The duke's quarters tragically malfunctioned, leading him to accidentally fall 20 z-levels into a pit full of giant chipmunks. At least he died with a smile on his face..."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MCreeper on December 15, 2016, 07:50:07 am
Damn, how to remove white part?
Don't sure where post it, so posting here.  :o
(http://i.imgur.com/wpYhiBM.png)
Cost of this meal is 11178
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on December 15, 2016, 08:41:22 am
Quote from: MCreeper on December 15, 2016, 07:50:07 am
Damn, how to remove white part?
Don't sure where post it, so posting here.  :o
(http://i.imgur.com/wpYhiBM.png)
Cost of this meal is 11178

Open it up in MS paint and crop it to the right size.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on December 15, 2016, 11:19:59 am
Quote from: imperium3 on December 13, 2016, 06:53:19 am
Quote from: fearlesslittletoaster on December 13, 2016, 01:51:32 am
Quote from: imperium3 on December 12, 2016, 05:50:54 pm
One of the resident dukes has made a demand!

A steel bed in his room.

Got you beat. Mine wants a Chipmunk tooth bed. I'm debating the value of him being alive versus not exactly being alive anymore...

"Yes, it was very sad. The duke's quarters tragically malfunctioned, leading him to accidentally fall 20 z-levels into a pit full of giant chipmunks. At least he died with a smile on his face..."
But the physically impossible demands have been patched, if i remember correctly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FakerFangirl on December 15, 2016, 03:04:43 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on December 15, 2016, 11:19:59 am
But the physically impossible demands have been patched, if i remember correctly.
'Zat so?
(http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh63/Phenoca/lovebird%20tooth_zps8hlpweqz.jpg)
Oh god. I advise not to Google "Bird with teeth".

Quote from: Vrakanas on November 28, 2016, 10:08:35 pm
So i immediatedly go into vamphunt lockdown. I build the special cell, i check the wiki and forums on how to find a vamp. Finally think I've found em and i lock the bugger away as a bookkeeper for all eternity. I mean they met ALL of the requirements, the signs were there. Even the rediculous abundance of job skills and socials.


Fast forward 2 months, no deaths.


Then the bastard dies of starvation. Que panic mode.
Turns out they were an immigrant uberdwarf from an old fort i retired. And were related to half my fort....


Needless to say my fort imploded on a tide of blood and angry dorfs. Got the vampire though. Buuuut with only 6 of 93 dwarves surviving i just abandoned after sealing the site with a wall, roof, and floors.

It was my dorfnobyl.
My sincere condolences.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on December 16, 2016, 05:18:36 am
Quote from: MCreeper on December 15, 2016, 07:50:07 am
Damn, how to remove white part?
Don't sure where post it, so posting here.  :o
Cost of this meal is 11178

You can use the forum-dwarves DFHack script, it saves the text to a file.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on December 16, 2016, 05:39:28 am
Quote from: FakerFangirl on December 15, 2016, 03:04:43 pm
*snip*
Oh god. I advise not to Google "Bird with teeth".
*snip*
i did... many funny photoshopped pics and an article about birds deriving from dinosaurs, which of course had teeth.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: imperium3 on December 17, 2016, 12:30:10 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on December 15, 2016, 11:19:59 am


But the physically impossible demands have been patched, if i remember correctly.

That's what I thought, but the steel-bed-demanding duke suggests otherwise.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: scourge728 on December 17, 2016, 02:38:58 pm
So, in my rather modded game, there are butterfree that are common_domestic, they can fly, I brought two on embark, take a guess as to what happened next. If you guessed, "The Dwarves couldn't put it into a pasture because it kept flying away" you would be correct. After enough fiddling with DFhack I managed to get it on the ground for long enough for someone to grab it
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FakerFangirl on December 17, 2016, 04:06:30 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on December 16, 2016, 05:39:28 am
an article about birds deriving from dinosaurs, which of course had teeth.
Hmm. But I've had a pet peach-faced lovebird. All beak! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0WOXELI1Gs&t=0m49s

So... Back on-topic. When my militia aren't fully-equipped, and one of them dies trying to loot a dead merchant outside of the fort...
Poorly-equipped half of army: "CHARRRRGE!"
Well-equipped half of army: *waits for more dwarves to die before running outdoors to loot their corpses*
Guy manning catapult: "Guys wait - come back!"

Thankfully I only lost several dwarves due to some next-level item forbidding.

Do weapons that killed dwarves give unhappy thoughts? Cuz I've melted all of them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on December 17, 2016, 04:30:36 pm
Never heard of it, and it wouldn't be too difficult to check. A least my dwarves don't seem to mind minecarts that has killed half a dozen of their number before.

@scourge: That's rather unusual modding, given that pet ducks don't fly in vanilla. 

That said, unpastured pets flock to meeting areas. Easy enough to use one as lure - if they fly, just make it 1 high.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: scourge728 on December 17, 2016, 05:48:25 pm
This Butterfree was in fact, not going anywhere near the meeting zone, it was sitting in trees and right next to land and when I cut down the tree or built towards it it would go somewhere else every time
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: King Kitteh on December 17, 2016, 11:05:38 pm
Hey, it's page 666!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FakerFangirl on December 18, 2016, 07:54:54 pm
Quote from: King Kitteh on December 17, 2016, 11:05:38 pm
Hey, it's page 666!
(http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh63/Phenoca/a%20vile%20force_zpskpnuqtjk.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thisfox on December 19, 2016, 05:59:33 am
Spoiler: photo (click to show/hide)

It's page 200 for me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: King Kitteh on December 19, 2016, 06:39:28 am
You probably have your settings changed to display more comments per page.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on December 20, 2016, 09:46:10 pm
Quote from: Thisfox on December 19, 2016, 05:59:33 am
Spoiler: photo (click to show/hide)

It's page 200 for me.

YOU CANNOT DISTRACT ME FROM THE APOCOLYPSE BROUGHT ON BY NUMBERS.

THE END IS NIGH.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FakerFangirl on December 20, 2016, 11:17:16 pm
I just noticed the well-minced dwarven beer.

So I almost missed the traders. Apparently you can't leave your burrow. So I gave the broker and mayor their own special bonus burrows.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Random_Dragon on December 21, 2016, 03:15:22 pm
So, I forgot to pasture a stray cow, so it starved in the main hall. Too far from the hastily-placed butcher's workshop to butcher, so I ordered it dumped next to the workshop.

I forgot that I placed the dump zone not just next to the workshop, but also next to a pool of water. Good news is it'll be decomposing into beef stew next to the butcher's workshop, instead of rotting in the main hall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on December 21, 2016, 10:04:25 pm
You wouldn't have been able to butcher it anyway, unless your butcher's shop dump zone is for reanimating dead tame animals.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Random_Dragon on December 21, 2016, 10:25:44 pm
What? Madness? The idea was dump it in reach of the workshop then unforbid it. It wasn't a pet, but a stray. >.o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: King Kitteh on December 22, 2016, 04:28:35 am
AFAIK butchers won't butcher any domesticated animal corpses (no matter cause of death). Only way you can butcher one is if it's alive and brought to the workshop.

Reanimated animals aren't domestic so you can remurder them and butcher the corpse IIRC.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Loki1270H on December 22, 2016, 12:37:35 pm
My military leader throws his sword down an tries to strangle a DRAGON!!!  :'( :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Random_Dragon on December 22, 2016, 01:00:54 pm
Quote from: King Kitteh on December 22, 2016, 04:28:35 am
AFAIK butchers won't butcher any domesticated animal corpses (no matter cause of death). Only way you can butcher one is if it's alive and brought to the workshop.

Mierda. D:

Meanwhile, I done derped. I set it so that the settlement would start with an expedition leader, who would upgrade to a lord once the settlement hit 20 citizens and became a hamlet.

However, I set the lord to not be elected because duh, and not be appointed because the only position that makes sense for that is the law-giver, and civ-level appointing doesn't work that well. So the position would never appear until I deleted the expedition leader.

Then again, even tiny hamlets with no mead hall tend to have a lord/lady, so if I retain this change in the future it'll be better flavor AND add to the early-game challenge by having a whiny noble right off the bat.

I might tone down the room requirements though. At a bare minimum I can see needing a series of baron-quality tombs if lords keep dying will get annoying fast.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: mclarky96 on December 22, 2016, 01:07:29 pm
One time I embarked and I thought I had a really good start and then I realized I didn't load up any farmers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Random_Dragon on December 22, 2016, 01:22:01 pm
Why. Are. They. Bringing drunken children into the hospital?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on December 22, 2016, 05:25:05 pm
Quote from: mclarky96 on December 22, 2016, 01:07:29 pm
One time I embarked and I thought I had a really good start and then I realized I didn't load up any farmers.
Heh. I never bring any, myself.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: King Kitteh on December 22, 2016, 07:41:40 pm
Quote from: mclarky96 on December 22, 2016, 01:07:29 pm
One time I embarked and I thought I had a really good start and then I realized I didn't load up any farmers.
I never bring any, I just set a random dwarf to herbalist and he makes enough food to sustain my fort until I have a fulltime farmer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ironfang on January 01, 2017, 12:00:59 am
I offered to the dwarven caravan a pile of cloth and goblets worth 2.5 million (approximated from created wealth) . Then I looked at exported wealth after the caravan left.

It did not count the 2.5 million in offerings, just the 12k I used to buy stuff with.


At least my fps will benefit. :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: CABL on January 01, 2017, 01:08:36 am
I offered wooden bin to elves along with my bronze sceptres, thus forcing me to seize their black bear cage. At least I killed their diplomat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Paaaad on January 01, 2017, 02:20:55 am
Quote from: Ironfang on January 01, 2017, 12:00:59 am
I offered to the dwarven caravan a pile of cloth and goblets worth 2.5 million (approximated from created wealth) . Then I looked at exported wealth after the caravan left.

It did not count the 2.5 million in offerings, just the 12k I used to buy stuff with.


At least my fps will benefit. :'(

And your way ahead of the game on that aspect of attracting the monarch.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ironfang on January 01, 2017, 06:04:37 pm
Quote from: Paaaad on January 01, 2017, 02:20:55 am
Quote from: Ironfang on January 01, 2017, 12:00:59 am
I offered to the dwarven caravan a pile of cloth and goblets worth 2.5 million (approximated from created wealth) . Then I looked at exported wealth after the caravan left.

It did not count the 2.5 million in offerings, just the 12k I used to buy stuff with.


At least my fps will benefit. :'(

And your way ahead of the game on that aspect of attracting the monarch.

       -Meanwhile, in the mountain homes-
Dwarf Noble: Your majesty, the tributes from the city of Earthrule have arrived. 
Dwarf Queen: Ah good, where are they? Show them to me.
    -10 dwarves walk in, each carrying a masterwork golden goblet-
Dwarf Queen: By Armok, look at these beautiful treasures. These goblets will be the centerpieces of my dinning room.
Dwarf Noble: These ones? They're just the first few they carried in.
Dwarf Queen: What? there's more? Take me to them.
   -They walk outside, and her jaw drops at seeing the massive pile of uncountable treasures-
Dwarf Queen: Sweet Armok!
Dwarf Noble: The merchants said they lost three dwarves to exhaustion trying to carry all of them. They were all loose for some reason.
Dwarf Queen: How many master metalworkers must have labored to make all these in within three years.
Dwarf Noble: Well, the records say these were all made by a 13 year old girl in around one year.
Dwarf Queen:...........
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on January 02, 2017, 09:10:48 pm
Setting up an automatic train route in factorio.

Got everything working just so.

Flipped the switch to automatic so I could ride the train and check to make sure everything works.

Forgot to get in train first. Was standing in front of train at time of activation of said train.

Choo choo
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 94dima94 on January 03, 2017, 12:17:21 pm
The first migration wave reached my fortress: the 9 dwarves entered the map... 2 squares away from a pack of wolves.

Only 3 migrants reached the entrance, while 2 more escaped, but couldn't make it: they are on the ground outside of the fortress, gravely wounded. I don't have any kind of hospital yet.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Blabatron on January 04, 2017, 08:33:34 pm
Signing up for this forum. And not playing the game. #thuglife
JK the hashtag, not the game thing though :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ReynTheLord on January 04, 2017, 09:33:12 pm
Traders come to above ground trade outpost

Traders dump their leader, and leave

doesnt say they left tho

Look around in animals, they left behind a caged animal?

They left nearly everything behind..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thisfox on January 04, 2017, 10:27:03 pm
I had traders freak out when a whole lot of kea men and women decided to fly very high over the trade depot, even though my dwarves always ignore them. Absolute carnage as they shot the kea men and women, and the flying people attacked.... and then my animals were scattered, and the traders eventually left. I'm moving the trade depot underground. Damn troublecausers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ironfang on January 05, 2017, 07:04:52 am
I had a
Fun time of that happening with giant Keas. It ended with a herbalist getting caught in a kea's wings and getting choked to death. The keas didn't even steal anything, not even any of the herbalists gear or the nice free arrows the humans gave out.

The keas were just bloodthirsty. Greed is understandable, but this bird just wanted to see my dwarf die slowly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 94dima94 on January 05, 2017, 11:27:20 am
Man... those Giant Keas are bringing my fortress down, and they haven't done anything yet!

There is this flock that apparently enjoys showing up, flying above my fortress just low enough to scare every living thing outside, then leave.

My depot is there, so I sometimes have to wait for hours as the animals run away before trading.

My grazing animals are there, so I will sometimes have to stop all progress so my dwarves can gather everyone back.

It took me 4 times longer than usual to build a wall around the entrance, not to mention the INSANE delays in the construction of my tavern.

All for those damn keas.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ReynTheLord on January 05, 2017, 02:32:56 pm
Urist McBroker got his ass stuck on the other side of the river while the bridge was still under construction

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on January 06, 2017, 12:39:12 am
Hm. Is that pastel color set?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ReynTheLord on January 06, 2017, 03:16:13 pm
Quote from: Fleeting Frames on January 06, 2017, 12:39:12 am
Hm. Is that pastel color set?
Not sure.

I was doing masterwork.

I'm also shitty with leatherworking, so if my mayor mandates anything involving leather, Insta facepalm, leathers my worst enemy in terms of resources.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rosareven on January 06, 2017, 09:02:59 pm
I just embarked on a river running straight through the middle. The wagon was next to the river.

As soon as I unpause the game, my miner drowned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ReynTheLord on January 06, 2017, 11:44:56 pm
I keep having really tough guests murdering my guys
Pain in the ass, really
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ReynTheLord on January 07, 2017, 08:31:33 pm
Another one, I find more silver gold platnum and rare shit than I do Iron.

God damn.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: YetAnotherLurker on January 08, 2017, 12:34:45 am
At least silver can be used for weapons. Make shiny expensive furniture, wait for goblins to attack, smelt goblinite for iron.

I accidentally forbid the wrong door in my hatchery complex. Instead of hatching a single clutch of Giant Cave Swallows, I hatched four clutches of Cave Crocodiles in the room across the hall. Cave crocodile hatchlings have hatched x4 = 179 Cave Crocodile Hatchlings.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on January 08, 2017, 11:39:13 am
Bastiongate survived a titan attack in year two because I had about a thousand silver bolts to pump into it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ReynTheLord on January 08, 2017, 05:25:13 pm
My guys keep having halucinations even though the water source is just normal water.

Urist McDrugExpert, please report to tell us what kinda drugs were dumped in the river...

(I made a well to try and fix this)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ReynTheLord on January 13, 2017, 03:32:47 pm
Makes a path to underground caverns.

Things get killed by screwin with my dwarves (Facepalm pending)

Miasma.(Facepalm

All is fine. Oh wait, a troll..

Troll just stands there(Menacingly)
Near my door, out of reach

Places cage traps for inevitable approac...
Troll rushes in, likely breaking the sound barrier, as soon as the door opens for the cage trap to be put in.(facepalm 2)

Rats aproach. (facepalm 3
 
Rats find a path to jump over the Mexican Cave border wall. thats 10 more feet for the wall -urist mctrump (Facepalm 4)
Rush troll, phew another facepalm averted, and they carried it away...

(Drowspider corpse in distance starts rotting) SON OF A B... (Headdesk)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tymewalk on January 17, 2017, 04:56:45 pm
When I was new, one of the first things I encountered was a werebeast. I figured it would go away and just leave me alone, so I just kept setting up my fort.

Nope. It attacked and did some real damage, but I figured "no big deal, I'll just get a hospital, and be prepared next time by learning how to set up a militia".

Little did I know that those who got hurt would turn back into werebeasts later... including a dwarf I put on my militia.

Very !!Fun!!.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ironfang on January 17, 2017, 05:52:01 pm
Quote from: Tymewalk on January 17, 2017, 04:56:45 pm
When I was new, one of the first things I encountered was a werebeast. I figured it would go away and just leave me alone, so I just kept setting up my fort.

Nope. It attacked and did some real damage, but I figured "no big deal, I'll just get a hospital, and be prepared next time by learning how to set up a militia".

Little did I know that those who got hurt would turn back into werebeasts later... including a dwarf I put on my militia.

Very !!Fun!!.


T'was the fate of my first fort. Not helped by the later goblin siege.  By the end of it, there was one kid left. I abandoned the fortress after that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ReynTheLord on January 17, 2017, 05:57:24 pm
Quote from: Tymewalk on January 17, 2017, 04:56:45 pm
When I was new, one of the first things I encountered was a werebeast. I figured it would go away and just leave me alone, so I just kept setting up my fort.

Nope. It attacked and did some real damage, but I figured "no big deal, I'll just get a hospital, and be prepared next time by learning how to set up a militia".

Little did I know that those who got hurt would turn back into werebeasts later... including a dwarf I put on my militia.

Very !!Fun!!.

my first dead fortress was like that, but I thought I was more prepared
We rushed and killed the werebeast, no casualties, oh fuck, a few wounded. That's fine, I'll just secure the means of seperating hospital and fort.

"THEY BROKE DOWN THE FUCKING FLOOD GATE? REALLY? WELL FUCK.!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on January 17, 2017, 06:19:46 pm
Quote from: ReynTheLord on January 17, 2017, 05:57:24 pm
Quote from: Tymewalk on January 17, 2017, 04:56:45 pm
When I was new, one of the first things I encountered was a werebeast. I figured it would go away and just leave me alone, so I just kept setting up my fort.

Nope. It attacked and did some real damage, but I figured "no big deal, I'll just get a hospital, and be prepared next time by learning how to set up a militia".

Little did I know that those who got hurt would turn back into werebeasts later... including a dwarf I put on my militia.

Very !!Fun!!.

my first dead fortress was like that, but I thought I was more prepared
We rushed and killed the werebeast, no casualties, oh fuck, a few wounded. That's fine, I'll just secure the means of seperating hospital and fort.

"THEY BROKE DOWN THE FUCKING FLOOD GATE? REALLY? WELL FUCK.!"

And this is how I also learned to use raising bridges instead of floodgates.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thisfox on January 17, 2017, 08:59:43 pm
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on January 17, 2017, 06:19:46 pm
Quote from: ReynTheLord on January 17, 2017, 05:57:24 pm
Quote from: Tymewalk on January 17, 2017, 04:56:45 pm
When I was new, one of the first things I encountered was a werebeast. I figured it would go away and just leave me alone, so I just kept setting up my fort.

Nope. It attacked and did some real damage, but I figured "no big deal, I'll just get a hospital, and be prepared next time by learning how to set up a militia".

Little did I know that those who got hurt would turn back into werebeasts later... including a dwarf I put on my militia.

Very !!Fun!!.

my first dead fortress was like that, but I thought I was more prepared
We rushed and killed the werebeast, no casualties, oh fuck, a few wounded. That's fine, I'll just secure the means of seperating hospital and fort.

"THEY BROKE DOWN THE FUCKING FLOOD GATE? REALLY? WELL FUCK.!"

And this is how I also learned to use raising bridges instead of floodgates.

I just choose a room as the "hospital", then wall off the room. If none turn, in a month, I can dig out the wall and let 'em out, but usually it's pretty obvious that they're infected. Then, (bonus!) I have an unkillable fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on January 19, 2017, 06:50:04 am
"Oh wow, my hammerlord finally got that wound sutured, and so did those two workers who fell out of trees. Nice. Wonder where they got the string from... Say, where'd my candy go?"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kyubee on January 24, 2017, 06:53:43 am
My biggest facepalm is recurring. Without failure, every moat I dig gets a caravan stuck in it. I've learned to start removing ramps from the inside of my moat, save for leaving one little ramp as an exit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bloop_bleep on January 26, 2017, 08:50:17 pm
Okay, so I'm a newbie, and one of my miners found a cavern. Having read about the creatures that might dwell down there, I decided to seal it up pronto with a wall. So maybe a month passes, and only then do I notice an announcement saying "Urist McWallBuilder cancels Eat: Could not path to item" or something like that. Turns out, the cavern entrance I sealed was also part of the up/down stairway used to get between the mining levels, so my builder was stuck down there for a month. So I got a miner and decided to dig a down stairway to the level the dwarf was stuck on. To do this, I think you know, I have to build a U/D stair on that level, which again opens a path to the caverns. The dwarf was rescued, but I still had to seal up that entrance. I did so with a wall. Three guesses to what happened then.

Okay, so I decided to risk it and destroy the wall sealing the entrance for now, and again the builder dwarf was rescued. A miner then dug an up stairway on that level, and a U/D stairway on the level above it, which I should have done in the first place, since it doesn't reveal a path to the cavern. The builder dwarf then built the wall sealing the entrance a second time, and then proceeded to exit through the aforementioned up stairway. So, happy ending, I guess.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: scourge728 on January 26, 2017, 09:44:52 pm
Consider yourself lucky, a good chunk of the deaths in tomeburies before the fps death set in were to me not noticing as someone got stuck somewhere and dehydrated to death (normally up a tree)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: muldrake on January 26, 2017, 10:24:31 pm
Quote from: scourge728 on January 26, 2017, 09:44:52 pm
Consider yourself lucky, a good chunk of the deaths in tomeburies before the fps death set in were to me not noticing as someone got stuck somewhere and dehydrated to death (normally up a tree)

I've found it's worth doing a health check on the z menu every couple weeks.  If you have a dwarf hungry or thirsty, especially with no task, it's worth checking if they're trapped somewhere because they often are.

Another trap I've seen is weird shaped workshops (like the bowyer's workshop) where there are inconveniently located impassable spaces.  If you put workshops into 3x3 rooms with doors, often the dwarf doing it traps himself inside.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on January 26, 2017, 11:19:32 pm
If you're using dfhack, could also add
Code: [Select]
repeat -time 1 -timeUnits months -command [ warn-starving ]to onMapLoad_extra.init.

For Jeweler's, Bowyer's, etc. See this post: A visual guide to dwarf fortress mode! (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=159894.msg7129038#msg7129038)

Or just remember that all workshops are accessible from a door to north or south.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: muldrake on January 27, 2017, 05:56:12 pm
I decided to take off the top of a mountain the way coal companies sometimes do, for basically the same reason (it was literally made out of coal).  And just designated the whole thing on multiple levels for mining.

Do you even have to guess what happened?

Are you even surprised I was this dumb?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on January 27, 2017, 07:10:03 pm
Quote from: muldrake on January 27, 2017, 05:56:12 pm
I decided to take off the top of a mountain the way coal companies sometimes do, for basically the same reason (it was literally made out of coal).  And just designated the whole thing on multiple levels for mining.

Do you even have to guess what happened?

Are you even surprised I was this dumb?

I occasionally try to do things like that.  I normally give up before I take the entire top of the mountain off.  The other thing to remember is the ramp and channel commands.  I just wish there was a good way to say "I want to take off the top 10 layers of this mountain, starting at the top".  I think you can easily lay out 3 - 4 levels worth of chopping with the priority commands, but the absolute most you can do is 7.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lielac on January 28, 2017, 01:13:34 am
A miasma had started from my kitchens. Why? Because, while messing around in the [o]rders menu, I had accidentally hit [f] and told all my dwarves to ignore food. WHOOPS.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derro on January 28, 2017, 06:42:12 am
I saw a necromancer and his horde, and figured I could send in some guards, kill the 'mancer, and get them back in before the horde reached them.

Turns out I forgot to account for the necromancer running towards the horde. My guards are dead now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: muldrake on January 28, 2017, 03:27:13 pm
Quote from: Rockphed on January 27, 2017, 07:10:03 pm
I occasionally try to do things like that.  I normally give up before I take the entire top of the mountain off.  The other thing to remember is the ramp and channel commands.  I just wish there was a good way to say "I want to take off the top 10 layers of this mountain, starting at the top".  I think you can easily lay out 3 - 4 levels worth of chopping with the priority commands, but the absolute most you can do is 7.

I should have just done it a layer at a time.  But noooo.  I would have done this underground, where I have at least learned by mostly painful experience, but I'm annoyed at myself for failing to generalize that knowledge and instead stupidly failing at it the moment I tried it outside, even though it was painfully obvious once it actually happened.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: muldrake on January 28, 2017, 10:37:40 pm
Quote from: Ispil on January 28, 2017, 10:23:51 pm
Was trying to dig a nice, deep pit to chuck a bunch of trolls/goblins into. Figured 50z would be plenty.


Turns out all that water I was dumping into the caverns as a part of a trap as well as a waterfall in my fortress had to go somewhere. Progress is blocked until I redirect the water elsewhere.

Actually, I could just do down 30z instead and be fine.

I've had 30 work just fine.  There might be something that won't kill, but I haven't seen it yet.  I have yet to see a complete body down there.  It's just a slurry of blood, teeth, body parts and various items.  Very satisfying.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: muldrake on January 28, 2017, 11:25:19 pm
Quote from: Ispil on January 28, 2017, 10:59:54 pm
Besides, they're landing in the caverns. If they survive somehow, whatever happens to be wandering around down there will gladly finish the job.

The most ridiculous thing I've seen something survive happened after another facepalm I had.

I'd dug a 70 z-layer pipe (really a stairway) down from a water-filled cavern layer to fill a 2 layer huge cistern I was going to use to set up wells and do obsidian farming down in the magma sea.  So at the top, I put a floodgate in the 7 deep water, thinking building destroyers were unlikely to get to it.  I didn't bother closing it at the bottom.

Needless to say, my assumption was mistaken.  Months later, a troll somehow got to it and wrecked it, and then went down the pipe along with a flood of water.  Since the cistern wasn't completely full, I had enough time to seal off the area before the entire level was flooded.  The troll rampaged around in the area for a while, and then when the water reached the top, decided to GO BACK UP THE PIPE.

When it got back to the top, every single one of its body parts was red in the wounds menu and its description was a series of wounds, but it was alive.  One of the squad guys there waiting for it punched it and it died.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derro on January 29, 2017, 04:42:44 am
Lost some dwarves in a fight with undead camels. Saw that none of the bodies were getting up. Decided to slaughter one of my yaks. Yak rose as undead, with all the FUN that entails.

I forgot that mangled corpses (which all casualties were) couldn't rise after death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on January 29, 2017, 10:16:01 am
Quote from: muldrake on January 28, 2017, 03:27:13 pm
Quote from: Rockphed on January 27, 2017, 07:10:03 pm
I occasionally try to do things like that.  I normally give up before I take the entire top of the mountain off.  The other thing to remember is the ramp and channel commands.  I just wish there was a good way to say "I want to take off the top 10 layers of this mountain, starting at the top".  I think you can easily lay out 3 - 4 levels worth of chopping with the priority commands, but the absolute most you can do is 7.

I should have just done it a layer at a time.  But noooo.  I would have done this underground, where I have at least learned by mostly painful experience, but I'm annoyed at myself for failing to generalize that knowledge and instead stupidly failing at it the moment I tried it outside, even though it was painfully obvious once it actually happened.
You can dig out the mountain using up-down stairs, then cave-in at the bottom to destroy them.

IIRC, though, there can be permanent FPS consequences for messing with large areas of surface terrain.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: muldrake on January 29, 2017, 04:25:11 pm
Quote from: Bumber on January 29, 2017, 10:16:01 am
You can dig out the mountain using up-down stairs, then cave-in at the bottom to destroy them.

IIRC, though, there can be permanent FPS consequences for messing with large areas of surface terrain.

I would have preferred to avoid cave-ins entirely, since I had already built much of my fortress in the z-layer directly below where I wanted the top of the mountain gone, and wasn't sure whether it would crash down into my fortress if I did that.  My only luck in this is it didn't do that, because the cave-in was pretty late in the process so I had already mined out most of the useful stuff.  It was full of valuable stuff like lignite and bituminous coal and various iron ores, to the point I named it Steeltop Mountain.  Stuff gets destroyed in cave-ins.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on January 31, 2017, 01:13:01 am
If your fort's below, you can leave the bottom two levels unmined until after the cave-in. Digging through the entire mountain top with up-down stairs extracts the ore and allows for easier transport of the ores than a single shaft. Only after everything valuable is clear do you dig out the lowest level of stairs and trigger the cave-in from a linked support beam or from one of the edges.

The cave-in disintegrates the stairs, and you can easily mine out the bottom level the regular way.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on January 31, 2017, 05:18:55 am
Quote from: Bumber on January 31, 2017, 01:13:01 am
The cave-in disintegrates the stairs, and you can easily mine out the bottom level the regular way.
Cue muldrake designating the whole remaining mountaintop with d-d and killing every man, woman, child and cat in the  fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: muldrake on February 01, 2017, 06:40:48 pm
Quote from: Fleeting Frames on January 31, 2017, 05:18:55 am
Quote from: Bumber on January 31, 2017, 01:13:01 am
The cave-in disintegrates the stairs, and you can easily mine out the bottom level the regular way.
Cue muldrake designating the whole remaining mountaintop with d-d and killing every man, woman, child and cat in the  fortress.

Given the staggering level of bungling I've described in this thread, it is probably amazing I didn't actually do this.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: rosareven on February 05, 2017, 04:06:38 am
I built some catwalks over this soon-to-be-irrigated farm. After the rock floor has all been splashed with water, I deconstructed the catwalks.

"A section of the floor has collapsed!"

Instant dead farmer and another dwarf. I should have deconstructed it from the end tile one at a time...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derro on February 06, 2017, 12:57:36 pm
Reanimating biome. Somehow, I manage to get a few migrant sheep safely in a pasture, and I decide to shear one.

Turns out that even if the base animal isn't dead, sheared wool still reanimates. Said reanimated wool is also still unkillable if it's small enough.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ReynTheLord on February 06, 2017, 07:34:53 pm
A facepalm towards the game when watching a stream

A brook which we could dig out/channel started bleeding after it took a life
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on February 06, 2017, 07:43:54 pm
Quote from: ReynTheLord on February 06, 2017, 07:34:53 pm
A facepalm towards the game when watching a stream

https://clips.twitch.tv/oaogigmaster/PleasantDuckItsBoshyTime

A bleeding river.
Link goes to a removal request.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on February 09, 2017, 07:57:27 am
Just lost my year's trade with the humans because I was somehow designating all the bins but not their inventories...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on February 10, 2017, 02:54:23 am
Quote from: StagnantSoul on February 09, 2017, 07:57:27 am
Just lost my year's trade with the humans because I was somehow designating all the bins but not their inventories...

Wait what.
I thought designating the bins automagically selected all of the stuff inside for trade - or has that changed? I usually don't do that as I am still in the "wood is scarce" mindeset from earlier versions. I guess that's a FP as well - considering I have a fuckton of bins around. Most of them are high quality as well. I should probably start to stud them with leftover lead or so, just to use up some of the metal bars in the stockpiles... (seriously, my smelters are all cluttered, my metal bar stocks are overflowing, and I'm still buying and melting all sorts of stuff from the caravans - he's a hoarder, it seems)
Plus the things it does to my FPS.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ironfang on February 10, 2017, 09:16:16 am
I need to figure out a way to dam a river. The thing is in a canyon, so that makes it much harder. By FPS is also near it's limit, so adjusting flow is difficult. When I last tried to block it up by using pumps, my FPS went into fractions.

Any ideas?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derro on February 10, 2017, 01:01:29 pm
Combatshield is celebrating.

After much grueling experimentation (including the dismantling and re-assembling of the bridge), the silk farm is finally functional! Dozens of sheets of forest titan cloth have already been produced, with more to come. Our friendly guard captain is more than happy to step in and draw the beast's ire if needed, it seems.

The mayor (who, I found out, also serves as the fort's main butcher) revealed an unhealthy obsession with large gems when he told me to make one. Ah well, there's worse mandates.

A few sheep have been slaughtered to make room for the cow migrants brought with them. Their remains made fine additions to the menagerie already at the bottom of the garbage chute.

Really, nothing too exciting happens. The undead have been keeping quiet
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Inconspicuous on February 12, 2017, 01:29:55 am
When I get my symettry off.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on February 12, 2017, 03:40:32 am
Quote from: Ironfang on February 10, 2017, 09:16:16 am
Any ideas?
Minecartfuls of magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Prop42 on February 12, 2017, 11:20:22 am
I spent about 10 minutes getting an embark ready, at which point the wagon spawned on top of a frozen waterfall in a hot area that instantly thawed, causing all my dwarves and their supplies to tumble 9 z levels down and splatter against the walls and floor.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fabo on February 16, 2017, 03:55:29 pm
I made a military squad but forgot to tell them to train... they all got slaughtered by thee goblins
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ironfang on February 16, 2017, 10:15:21 pm
Quote from: Prop42 on February 12, 2017, 11:20:22 am
I spent about 10 minutes getting an embark ready, at which point the wagon spawned on top of a frozen waterfall in a hot area that instantly thawed, causing all my dwarves and their supplies to tumble 9 z levels down and splatter against the walls and floor.

Please tell me you saved the embark set up before your dwarves died instantly in an unbelievably funny manner.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Urist9876 on February 20, 2017, 03:04:08 am
One of my dworfs was bitten by a were creature. So I created an alcove to my inn, sealed it with golden grates and put the poor cursed creature there.

At full moon he transformed. Separated. No problem.

Then, after he transformed back, a mercenary archer enters the inn and starts leisurely shooting him...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Squirrelloid on February 24, 2017, 11:37:47 am
Quote from: Rockphed on January 27, 2017, 07:10:03 pm
Quote from: muldrake on January 27, 2017, 05:56:12 pm
I decided to take off the top of a mountain the way coal companies sometimes do, for basically the same reason (it was literally made out of coal).  And just designated the whole thing on multiple levels for mining.

Do you even have to guess what happened?

Are you even surprised I was this dumb?

I occasionally try to do things like that.  I normally give up before I take the entire top of the mountain off.  The other thing to remember is the ramp and channel commands.  I just wish there was a good way to say "I want to take off the top 10 layers of this mountain, starting at the top".  I think you can easily lay out 3 - 4 levels worth of chopping with the priority commands, but the absolute most you can do is 7.

Stairs.  The way to do massive digging projects across multiple z-levels is stairs.  First designate downstairs everywhere, then designate up-down on top of that everywhere.  (The downstairs which are on the surface levels won't get overwritten). 

You can then channel all those stairs out one z-level at a time - they'll channel from the stairs below.  And while you have to do that one z-level at a time, it's much faster than mining, so its not as annoying to pay attention to.

(You will have to remove all the ramps first, or otherwise you won't be able to designate downstairs on top, and that means surface material that will later collapse on you).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lestmurphy on February 26, 2017, 04:48:28 pm
I accidentally traded away a stepladder to some human traders that one of my dwarfs was using to pick fruit from a tree. He was in the tree and couldn't get down because his stepladder had been taken. He died of dehydration up in the tree. I chopped the tree down, and the dead body of my fruit-picker came crashing down to earth. I was able to bury him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on February 27, 2017, 11:52:40 am
Quote from: lestmurphy on February 26, 2017, 04:48:28 pm
I accidentally traded away a stepladder to some human traders that one of my dwarfs was using to pick fruit from a tree. He was in the tree and couldn't get down because his stepladder had been taken. He died of dehydration up in the tree. I chopped the tree down, and the dead body of my fruit-picker came crashing down to earth. I was able to bury him.

Oh that explains the random fisherdwarf I found stuck in a tree. I had to chop down the tree to get him down, and I have spent weeks thinking about how he got stuck up there. Thank you so much for explaining this to me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ironfang on February 27, 2017, 12:44:28 pm
Quote from: Derpy Dev on February 27, 2017, 11:52:40 am
Quote from: lestmurphy on February 26, 2017, 04:48:28 pm
I accidentally traded away a stepladder to some human traders that one of my dwarfs was using to pick fruit from a tree. He was in the tree and couldn't get down because his stepladder had been taken. He died of dehydration up in the tree. I chopped the tree down, and the dead body of my fruit-picker came crashing down to earth. I was able to bury him.

Oh that explains the random fisherdwarf I found stuck in a tree. I had to chop down the tree to get him down, and I have spent weeks thinking about how he got stuck up there. Thank you so much for explaining this to me.

Loss of stepladder will cause fruit picking dwarves to get stuck.
I also believe a tree can explosively grow and trap a dwarf. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on February 27, 2017, 01:27:10 pm
Dwarfs can also climb idly, but forget how to when they have somewhere to go.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on February 27, 2017, 11:26:01 pm
I've also seen animals swap dwarves into trees. It used to happen to my animal trainers all the time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: helmacon on February 28, 2017, 12:33:05 am
I had a crazy wolverine chase about 6 of my dwarves up into the trees. I had to designate to have them chopped down, and we lost a few legs and a baby in the fall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: snow dwarf on February 28, 2017, 05:42:43 am
Quote from: helmacon on February 28, 2017, 12:33:05 am
I had a crazy wolverine chase about 6 of my dwarves up into the trees. I had to designate to have them chopped down, and we lost a few legs and a baby in the fall.
You should call the fort X-mansion.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ironfang on February 28, 2017, 07:14:41 am
Quote from: snow dwarf on February 28, 2017, 05:42:43 am
Quote from: helmacon on February 28, 2017, 12:33:05 am
I had a crazy wolverine chase about 6 of my dwarves up into the trees. I had to designate to have them chopped down, and we lost a few legs and a baby in the fall.
You should call the fort X-mansion.

Name one of the more scholarly dwarves that lost legs "Professor" make a metal worker magneto, so on and so forth.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: snow dwarf on February 28, 2017, 07:30:17 am
Quote from: Ironfang on February 28, 2017, 07:14:41 am
Quote from: snow dwarf on February 28, 2017, 05:42:43 am
Quote from: helmacon on February 28, 2017, 12:33:05 am
I had a crazy wolverine chase about 6 of my dwarves up into the trees. I had to designate to have them chopped down, and we lost a few legs and a baby in the fall.
You should call the fort X-mansion.

Name one of the more scholarly dwarves that lost legs "Professor" make a metal worker magneto, so on and so forth.
Have a cyclops and call him "cyclops".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on March 02, 2017, 08:20:08 pm
So I face palmed when I got this new mayor. Immediately he started demanding that I create rings, and now he's saying I can't trade all of these masterpiece rings. Time for an unfortunate accident.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: snow dwarf on March 02, 2017, 11:24:52 pm
Quote from: Derpy Dev on March 02, 2017, 08:20:08 pm
So I face palmed when I got this new mayor. Immediately he started demanding that I create rings, and now he's saying I can't trade all of these masterpiece rings. Time for an unfortunate accident.
Well, that's what basically happens. They like something. They demand it. They don't want you to sell it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Inconspicuous on March 03, 2017, 11:00:16 am
Yeah, in my experience, they usually stop banning the export of a certain good after a while. With mine, he banned the export of battle axes, then unbanned, after a while mandated crowns, banned export of those, etc.

It's only really terrible if you're 100% trade dependent. And if that's the case, then it's time to expand your industries.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on March 03, 2017, 11:26:43 am
Quote from: Inconspicuous on March 03, 2017, 11:00:16 am
It's only really terrible if you're 100% trade dependent. And if that's the case, then it's time to expand your industries.

I enjoy the benefits and suffer the curses from only being near dwarves. I don't have sieges or kobolds, but I only have 1 trade caravan a year.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derro on March 03, 2017, 12:32:46 pm
You can also artificially switch mayors after every production mandate.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iren on March 04, 2017, 06:00:10 pm
A band of goblins arrived to siege my fort, startling one of my fisherdorfs and making him jump into a tree. Urist McDorfus got himself tangled in the branches and couldn't get back to the ground, so died of dehidration hanging from the damn tree. Afterwards one of my woodcutters felled the tree and the corpse of Urist McDorfus had to be rescued among a heap of wood logs. The engraver is still laughing after he was told to represent that in a wall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: muldrake on March 04, 2017, 07:22:59 pm
Quote from: Inconspicuous on March 03, 2017, 11:00:16 am
Yeah, in my experience, they usually stop banning the export of a certain good after a while. With mine, he banned the export of battle axes, then unbanned, after a while mandated crowns, banned export of those, etc.

I don't mind when some noble bans the export of stuff I'd never export in the first place (like battle axes).  I do think one of the most annoying mandates is for some weird craft that you can't specifically pick, so it's pure chance whether or not you get it before the time runs out.  This is also why I like putting a waterfall into a noble's quarters, along with a means of closing them off, with a nice artifact floodgate or at least a really nice one.

That way you can just close the floodgate and immediately turn them into a drowning chamber.

I've had reasonably good luck with noble mandates not being too onerous, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on March 08, 2017, 01:29:22 am
Quote from: muldrake on March 04, 2017, 07:22:59 pm
I do think one of the most annoying mandates is for some weird craft that you can't specifically pick, so it's pure chance whether or not you get it before the time runs out.
This was fixed. There are now jobs for making specific crafts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on March 08, 2017, 01:31:58 am
Went through, designating things for trade... Apparently I accidentally traded away all our charcoal. Two year's worth of cutting and burning. Gone. For a giant lemur.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ironfang on March 08, 2017, 06:41:13 am
Quote from: StagnantSoul on March 08, 2017, 01:31:58 am
Went through, designating things for trade... Apparently I accidentally traded away all our charcoal. Two year's worth of cutting and burning. Gone. For a giant lemur.

Ah, better start cutting and burning again. I hear elf tears help a lot with the process.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Untouchable on March 14, 2017, 12:51:19 am
A fruit gatherer died of thirst by getting stuck in a tree and then another gatherer took the stepladder while he was up there. I completely forgot to make a second stepladder so that was a lesson learnt.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on March 14, 2017, 05:42:36 pm
Quote from: Untouchable on March 14, 2017, 12:51:19 am
A fruit gatherer died of thirst by getting stuck in a tree and then another gatherer took the stepladder while he was up there. I completely forgot to make a second stepladder so that was a lesson learnt.
i never figured what my dorfs could use stepladders for, so i never built any... i'll change that on my next embark.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SteelZsar on March 19, 2017, 06:28:22 am
My dwarfs just spent a year punching a giant bat to death. 30 of them. Literally a year.

Now all of them are legendary observant so... bonus??
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mathel on March 19, 2017, 12:03:37 pm
While trying to make a farming plot, I accidentaly made a pit of drowning instead, because I underestimated aquifer.
At least I made the drain first, so it did not flood the fort. 3 dwarves drowned when trying to haul stones, so I restricted the area and forbid the items.

2 years later, a fisherdwarf drowned in there for no apparent reason (The area was still restricted and all the fisherdwarves INCLUDING HIM were fishing in a murky pool until then.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lohakar on March 20, 2017, 06:01:06 am
Quote from: SteelZsar on March 19, 2017, 06:28:22 am
My dwarfs just spent a year punching a giant bat to death. 30 of them. Literally a year.

Now all of them are legendary observant so... bonus??
Clever grinders! :-)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derro on March 20, 2017, 07:42:29 am
Quote from: SteelZsar on March 19, 2017, 06:28:22 am
My dwarfs just spent a year punching a giant bat to death. 30 of them. Literally a year.

Now all of them are legendary observant so... bonus??

I had something similar with a bunch of unarmed dwarves and an armadillo. Seven months into the battle, I had four legendary wrestlers/strikers and one unharmed, rolled-up armadillo. The dwarves would periodically pass out, but upon waking the punching would resume.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ironsnake345 on March 20, 2017, 10:29:03 am
Quote from: Derro on March 20, 2017, 07:42:29 am
I had something similar with a bunch of unarmed dwarves and an armadillo. Seven months into the battle, I had four legendary wrestlers/strikers and one unharmed, rolled-up armadillo. The dwarves would periodically pass out, but upon waking the punching would resume.

"I punched. And I missed. And then I punched again. And then I missed. I punched, and then I punched again, I missed both times. Then I was too tired to fight, and then I got sad. I had some ale, and then I passed out. I dreamed I was punching an armadillo. I missed."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PimpFrog on March 20, 2017, 11:34:15 pm
Well mine is not that interesting but I really facepalmed when I figured out that I made the bridge that was going to block the main entrance retracting instead of raising. Nevertheless my game crashed before I could see my dwarves perish  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 94dima94 on March 23, 2017, 09:04:32 am
A Titan made entirely of water came to the fortress, killed a few dingoes, went for the human caravan... and was one-shot by a crappy human guard weilding a plain copper mace (which she didn't really know how to use either).

Total victim count: 5 dingoes, 1 merchant (killed by a long-distance "spit" that destroyed his leg leaving him to bleed out quickly).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: snow dwarf on March 23, 2017, 11:32:18 pm
I put notes on three levers connected to bridges that protect my fort, but I forgot to link the bridges up and now my dwarfs are sitting behind doors and smoothing the fortress while undead kill everything outside and my animals starve to death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nikita on March 24, 2017, 08:56:47 am
Was trying to figure out why nobody was making copper crossbows at the metalsmith's workshop.

All the smiths had appropriate labors enabled, had no job, the copper was available, nothing was forbidden, there was no civilian alert, they weren't doing anything more interesting...

Turns out I set the workshop profile to only accept the armorer, while crossbows are made by a weaponsmith.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: asialsky on March 27, 2017, 06:54:32 pm
In the middle of digging out a cistern for the well in the dining hall, I get a notification. "You have struck Devil Ice ore!" "Nice," I think. "Now I can use my modded ore to forge freezing weapons that are able to sever limbs and cause frostbite."

" 'Vinny' McArmorer has been taken by a fey mood!"

I thought nothing of it until he gathered up all of my newly smelted Devil Ice bars, and forged a single boot with an image of itself on it worth 162000 DB.

A boot, out of a material that causes frostbite. FML. /facepalm
EDIT: Now I just wanted to abandon so I can claim in adventure mode.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on March 27, 2017, 08:48:31 pm
So I have learned something. If a dwarf sees an undead, he will attack it. That's it. If they see an undead while mining, they will attack it. If they see an undead next to a safe ledge, they will attack it. If they see an undead that a trap was about to deal with anyway, they will attack it. If they see a hoard of undead cave crocodiles swarming from the caverns and rushing towards the fortress, they will attack it, no matter how unlikely it seems they will win, no matter how many burrows you have telling them to run, no matter how many traps this dwarf was making to protect us from said undead... they will abandon their duties and rush towards it.

Rip my legendary mechanic.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: vanatteveldt on March 27, 2017, 10:18:08 pm
Quote from: Squirrelloid on February 24, 2017, 11:37:47 am
Quote from: Rockphed on January 27, 2017, 07:10:03 pm
Quote from: muldrake on January 27, 2017, 05:56:12 pm
I decided to take off the top of a mountain the way coal companies sometimes do, for basically the same reason (it was literally made out of coal).  And just designated the whole thing on multiple levels for mining.

Do you even have to guess what happened?

Are you even surprised I was this dumb?

I occasionally try to do things like that.  I normally give up before I take the entire top of the mountain off.  The other thing to remember is the ramp and channel commands.  I just wish there was a good way to say "I want to take off the top 10 layers of this mountain, starting at the top".  I think you can easily lay out 3 - 4 levels worth of chopping with the priority commands, but the absolute most you can do is 7.

Stairs.  The way to do massive digging projects across multiple z-levels is stairs.  First designate downstairs everywhere, then designate up-down on top of that everywhere.  (The downstairs which are on the surface levels won't get overwritten). 


Alternatively, mine (not channel) out the whole mountain except for one column in the middle. Place a support next to the bottom column, remove said column. Link lever to support, civilian burrow, pull lever.

Not sure if your coal will survive, but you'll certainly get nice fireworks :)

(http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2012:Exploratory_mining#Mountain_Top_Removal_Excavation)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nikita on March 28, 2017, 08:10:46 am
-snip, wrong thread-
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ForestDump on April 01, 2017, 11:02:10 am
I smoothed the down stairs to the second level of rooms and all the dwarves that were there died of thirst
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lobster1050 on April 01, 2017, 11:27:59 am
"Face palm moments you had"? Well. In my last fortress, created all types of instruments, assigned a lot of performers to tavern (some of them even had skills for appropriate instruments). And? No one want to play these instruments.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pseudo on April 02, 2017, 12:17:18 pm
As it turns out, attempting to catch firebreathing fire with a wooden cage trap doesn't work well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on April 02, 2017, 02:18:31 pm
After a long journey that I was afraid of sleeping during because of bogeymen, I managed to get a rhino person adventurer to my retired fortress.

Unretired the fort to find a rhino person stark raving mad in the second cavern layer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thisfox on April 03, 2017, 04:12:19 pm
Quote from: Pseudo on April 02, 2017, 12:17:18 pm
As it turns out, attempting to catch firebreathing fire with a wooden cage trap doesn't work well.

Yep, but if the wooden cage was an Artifact, you now have an eternal source of !!sock!!s, !!kitten!!s and !!dorfs!!, to do with as you will.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: asialsky on April 05, 2017, 10:48:56 am
"Urist McRecruit cancels Store Item: Too injured."

Oh no, that FB was poisonous. I wonder what-
"Urisf McRecruit has been found dead: Suffocated."

Turns out my giant cave croc FB injected him in the spine and paralyzed him in his upper spine, both lungs, and his liver.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on April 05, 2017, 05:53:44 pm
Literally the first combat.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The first enemy, the first combat, the first shot. I literally made this character less than a minute ago.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: 94dima94 on April 07, 2017, 12:53:52 pm
Quote from: Derpy Dev on April 05, 2017, 05:53:44 pm
Literally the first combat.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The first enemy, the first combat, the first shot. I literally made this character less than a minute ago.

Your profile pic perfectly represents the correct reaction in this case.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Maul_Junior on April 11, 2017, 11:32:51 am
not  in-game, but I had a dream last night that I was gong to a Jurassic Park-type place. And, in Jurassic Park fashion, it all went to hell. It ended up with a group of survivors bunkered down in a building, waiting for help to show up. It was a weird mix of Jurassic Park apocalypse with Dwarf Fortress, overhead caging rules for all kinds of chickens and other small animals that never showed up as I was "seeing" in my dream, but I kept putting them in cages. and for some reason a few pokemon sprites showed up as I was caging everything.

There was a moment where the "I can make it" tough guy trope decided to unbar the front door and make a break for it, only for the silhouette of the dino that spits and has the neck frills show up and spit all over him the instant he went out the door. Screams, crunches, death, relocking the door.

Then, at the end, right before help arrived, I saw a pair of reptilian hands rise up, slowly, in horror movie fashion, and slowly move aside some stuff that had been blocking a pit. And, in horror movie fashion, nobody saw the three reptilian things until they came out of the ground, and bit one of the survivors in the leg. These things were humanoid reptilian, and ALL teeth.

I remember screaming "Is this vampire rules?" as the three things came for the rest of us.

Then, in the way only a dream can, the name of what they were appeared over their head. "Crundle."

Instantly not terrified at all, the non-bitten survivors proceeded to curbstomp them. Didn't find out what happened next, because I woke up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gearsy on May 01, 2017, 08:25:44 pm
So kind of a long winded face palm.. but really irked me with the fun I had... I revisited DF as I do from time to time to check out the new features etc, and decided to find a good embark, got my iron and flux stone using DFHack, wanted to get a full clad steel squad up and going as quick as I could.  Got 5 semi trained and kitted out relatively well.  This embark was flat, no hills or Z changes, so I build a stone ring around my fortress entrance leaving a 3 wide gap for caravans, knowing I'd come back in a month or two in game time after I had the mechanisms built to get the bridge complete with lever so I could seal off if needed.  My past fortresses on earlier versions have been pretty chill since the goblin sieges/ambushes stopped coming super early in game time, only the odd lycan once I ding the value point etc, nothing too crazy, needless to say I was a bit.. lax on my defensive preparations, even though I really knew better.  Suddenly I am playing around with getting my paper industry off the ground and library and tavern etc (new features to me so wanted to check them out)  and boom, zombie siege.  No biggie I thought to myself, I'll get the squad up and ..damn can't close the bridge up.. no way to put a mechanic that close and it would take too long.  So I scramble to get some dorfs up and build a makeshift wall to cover the gap, finally I go to units to see how many of these zombies to expect, thinking I wouldn't see more than a handful or two, boy was I wrong.. Page after page after page of kitted out zombies, elves, humans, dwarves, but mostly elves..  They began they're slow walk to the opening before i could get the third wall section up and my melee dworfs, green kitted in steel with spears and axes charge headlong into the thick of them.  At that point I basically thought the fortress was over, I had no tertiary way to close off the fort at the time with them so close, and they were a rather impressive horde.  A battle of nothing less than epic proportions ensued as my dorfs waded through them in quick fashion, at least in the beginning, one by one though they would get caught and killed, at the end of the fight there were only two of my 5 melee dorfs left, each survivor had about 2 dozen kills under their belt, and they weren't there until the battle was already well under way.  Suddenly the game starts freezing and dies, I had forgot to turn on saves in LNP and had lost an entire fortress due to the fact I had just let the game run and only paused when I would step away or sleep, etc.. all of that hard work and dwarven badassery covering for my screw ups lost..   
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Astrid on May 02, 2017, 03:34:36 pm
My 16 head strong new fort was going strong and developing fast when a new migrantwave aproached.
And truth to be hold, 18new heads, many of my former fort. Masters and legendaries in mining, wood and stone crafting carpentry, soldiers, glass metal, clothier leather full program.

I satrted to0 grin upon this to good to be true package. It was to good to be true. A were-bear appeared and slauthered near all of them including 2 of my own. I am instantly thrown back to 15 heads.
The beast in question made the flaw to transform back inside my fortress. Into a dirty human. I took all that remained ito squads and ordered her to be beaten to death by the entire Fortress.

Now i only need to think up what to do with my fallen kin... and the corpse of that.... thing....
Alone because of that insult i should declare war against the humans.

//Edit: The fort has fallen, unbeknownst to the survivors a sole farmer had been bitten by the beast without telling. When the next full moon hit she transformed and turned the feasting dwarfes remaining in the halls into a paste across the tables and walls of the former hall. Leaving only the mason producing coffins in the workshop alive along with a crippled miner.
The brave girl in question lost in sheer rage couldnt take it any longer and despite being crippled and the farmer dwarf turned back she unleashed all her fury upon him stabbing and tearing him to shreds with her pickaxe screaming before she fell from her pains.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on May 04, 2017, 09:47:54 pm
Was wondering why the elf caravan had no path to my depot, checked on it... Well, the dwarf caravan was still there from the previous autumn... Trapped between two drawbridges, starving and dehydrating and a few animals had dropped dead... Thank god the trader was just the glassmaker, we've got more than enough glass and glass accessories.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheCoolSideofthePIllow on May 08, 2017, 09:02:22 pm
Had a peasant just doing nothing. Made him Militia Captain. He was training for two days, goes to my stockpile to get something to eat and gets killed by a barrel of beer falling on him from above as the minecart was being dumped into the pile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Splint on May 08, 2017, 09:18:19 pm
Quote from: TheCoolSideofthePIllow on May 08, 2017, 09:02:22 pm
Had a peasant just doing nothing. Made him Militia Captain. He was training for two days, goes to my stockpile to get something to eat and gets killed by a barrel of beer falling on him from above as the minecart was being dumped into the pile.

"Don't ferget yer beer! .... Uhm.... I didn't see anythin'. Died of alcohol poisoning he did. Honest."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rusty Shackleford on May 08, 2017, 11:53:47 pm
Decided to have the bottom of an active dump chute smoothed out and engraved because even garbage chutes should have class... My best engraver went down to do his thing and got maimed and killed by terminal velocity two-legged lizard carcasses dropped from above. Dwarven physics, man.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: knedl on May 09, 2017, 02:51:50 am
I went for a 50km long ride with my bike on Saturday and since it's more or less starting season I was tired and sore (read: lazy as hell lol) on Sunday. So when I woke up in the morning I fired up the comp and DF and made me my first coffee. Said to myself oh boy! oh boy! a day for fortress building!! and maybe even some setting up my armies, uniforms, patrol routes, bolts equiping, bin testing !!!SCIENCE!!!. So I was playing till lunch, ordered me something to eat and playing along as the day turned to evening and was still playing during the evening till around 10 pm. I made so much stuff in approx 14 hrs of game play including winning a siege, made an artifact, production lines, setting up + naming all my stockpiles, setting all patrol routes, lots of uniforms for my soldiers, trading, etc. You know the casual Sunday fortress tidy and make everything and every detail perfect kinda day. For the end of the play day I wanted to finish my dworfs rooms (have 200 buggers) and when I was setting doors to be build for the last few rooms I pushed enter once too many and I placed a door on top of an already existing door (that's what was in the last line in the crash log). So there it was a crash! I was like oh crap and right at the end but OK, I am done for the day anyway. But then I was curious if I lost any work I have done so I went to load up the game again to see what's up just to F%$#% realize I lost it ALL! The freaking 14hrs of PERFECTING game play not just some mining but "Oh my Urist! the making it all perfect including all military personalized armor, stockpile settings,..... 14hrs out the window!?!?! *FACEPALM, FACEPALM with left hand, FACEPALM with right hand, DOOOUBLE FACEPALM", but then the !!!IDEA!!!. Time to go and scavange the save game folder there must be something to recover after 14 hrs right!

SOOOO....., the worst possible outcome imaginable came after making a PhD out of savegame folder/system (at like 1am in the morning) trying to recover something and then I finally figured out/realized for good that I haven't played through the season and so there was NO save game made whatsoever in the last 14 hrs because I spend so much time reading the wiki and forums to make it all perfect in game and in pause mode setting all that up - stuff like stockpiles, personalized military uniforms, trading, building over 100 rooms for dwarfes, I even traded huge amount of items with a dwarwen caravan that was at the darn trade depot at the time so I spend like an hour in the trade menu looking at all the items, one by one so I would remember the prices and see whats best for trading and how can I improve my fort to make more with trading. So i tweaked my production lines based on that, planned out new lines, stockpiles, selected the best dwarfs for the job based on personality, you freaking name it. It was done to perfection. AND ALL THAT GONE WITH THE LAST DARN DOOR PLACEMENT!!!

TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was 1am in the morning and I was SOOOO PISS... that I probably didn't fell asleep till 3am thinking about it. At the end I said oh well I learned a lot and now I am also a save scum but By my Urist!! this you can call a PERFECT FACEPALM moment!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Schmaven on May 09, 2017, 08:26:45 pm
I had a similar facepalm experience.  Having spent all day digging down to magma for my first attempt at magma forges, while also setting up good defenses  ear the surface, it was announced that some kind of moth had approached.  I send some dwarves at it only to read that this was no weird moth, but a Weremammoth.  And also I learned thehard way that their bites are contagious.  Dropping from 70 dwarves to 5, I quelled the Weremammoth and decided to call it a day.  Windows had an error and I lost the whole day's work. 

Next day, I restart, survive a Weremammoth only losing 2 dwarves, deal with a giant, and at the end of the day I get the same error, again I lose all my progress.  Did I play through a season for there to be an autosave? No.  Facepalm...

I'm going to adopt a faster game time style of play and seehow that goes for a while.  I still have yet to do anything with magma!

Quote from: knedl on May 09, 2017, 02:51:50 am
But then I was curious if I lost any work I have done so I went to load up the game again to see what's up just to F%$#% realize I lost it ALL!
I feel your pain.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Merlota on May 11, 2017, 10:42:30 pm
Digging the standard stairway straight down to magma that will eventually become a drop chute.   Cavern 1, wall off and continue stairs, cavern 2, whew missed the water, cavern 3, getting close.  Raw Adamantine, Praise the Miners!  Wait what are those screams...  crap.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rusty Shackleford on May 11, 2017, 11:46:34 pm
Yeah I retired a sort of time-warp fort. 7 six dwarf (very inept) scholars with decades of food locked in a luxury bunker with nothing to do do besides discussing adhesives to maximize fps. I retired the fort a decade into it and didn't keep any back up. I reclaim it and it crashes whenever I retire it.

I wanted to start an adventurer to come in and argue the worthlessness of family, friends, excitement, ect and convince them of the value of knowledge so they wouldn't be so depressed and miserable and trying to find excuses to leave the library but I can't quit the fort without it crashing.

Which is really lame.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: spazyak on May 12, 2017, 11:10:41 am
acccidentaly removed the one wall I had labeled as do not remove while trying to work in a room. Found out that was covering the origional enterance to my circus ring and prisioner execution chamber that werre held off by an air lock and retracting bridge...lost 15 dwarves holding the breach to rebuild that single tile of wall, one being my sword lord in adamantine armor, two master crossbow dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wahll on May 27, 2017, 03:53:58 pm
I've been playing dwarf fortress more than I'd care to admit but
I just realised that I've been reading the game's full title wrong all along :
it is not, in fact, "Slaves to Armok : Blood of God"...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on May 28, 2017, 11:21:02 am
Quote from: Wahll on May 27, 2017, 03:53:58 pm
I've been playing dwarf fortress more than I'd care to admit but
I just realised that I've been reading the game's full title wrong all along :
it is not, in fact, "Slaves to Armok : Blood of God"...
Did the cries of "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!" not clue you in?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Wahll on May 28, 2017, 11:49:59 am
Quote from: TheFlame52 on May 28, 2017, 11:21:02 am
Quote from: Wahll on May 27, 2017, 03:53:58 pm
I've been playing dwarf fortress more than I'd care to admit but
I just realised that I've been reading the game's full title wrong all along :
it is not, in fact, "Slaves to Armok : Blood of God"...
Did the cries of "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!" not clue you in?

It did, but refering to the "slaves" as being the blood of Armok was making (some) sense.
Anyway, that's the reason of the facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: BNDR on May 30, 2017, 07:50:09 am
Just had a Zombie invasion. Yet again. Prepared everything.

Alt-tabbed a split second, came back, "You have been conquered."

FML

Must have forgotten to pull one lever to seal all entrances or the undead were tunneling.
What a short moment can do.... time to reclaim that joint. For the empire!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naryar on June 06, 2017, 11:06:11 am
So some "Og Trottedslayers" petitioned for citizenship at my forteress. I assume it's either one of the bards or one of the warriors that I accepted as a long-term resident, and look for him in the unit list.

Can't find it. I looked twice in Citizens and Others, can't find it.

I finally shrug, try the new statue menu to have a pseudo-legends mode on him, find that "it's an water buffalo of unknown parentage", plus born at least 30 years ago.

Alright, DF. Now you're fucking with me.

I assume it is a bug, accept him as a citizen, look for my new sentient water buffalo citizen in the pets/livestock screen (it was inevitable) and find him.

Except it's not a water buffalo, it's a white tigerman bard. (It's a Fortress Defense civ)

In the pets/livestock screen. Hell, there's another one just next to him in that screen.

What the fuck, dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: spazyak on June 06, 2017, 02:18:33 pm
Quote from: Naryar on June 06, 2017, 11:06:11 am
So some "Og Trottedslayers" petitioned for citizenship at my forteress. I assume it's either one of the bards or one of the warriors that I accepted as a long-term resident, and look for him in the unit list.

Can't find it. I looked twice in Citizens and Others, can't find it.

I finally shrug, try the new statue menu to have a pseudo-legends mode on him, find that "it's an water buffalo of unknown parentage", plus born at least 30 years ago.

Alright, DF. Now you're fucking with me.

I assume it is a bug, accept him as a citizen, look for my new sentient water buffalo citizen in the pets/livestock screen (it was inevitable) and find him.

Except it's not a water buffalo, it's a white tigerman bard. (It's a Fortress Defense civ)

In the pets/livestock screen. Hell, there's another one just next to him in that screen.

What the fuck, dwarves.
I think your dwarves have just invented slavery. Can you mark him to be butchered or gelded?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Innsmothe on June 08, 2017, 02:09:18 pm
Racist dwarf expedition leader started a barfight with a newly arrived goblin adventurer and was in turn crippled for life. Like a dutiful overseer I force my treekiller into a militia squad and sent him to confornt the goblin.
He died on the point of a sword because I forgot to assign him his axe as a weapon.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheBenn on June 11, 2017, 08:29:06 am
I just spend a good half an hour building a new shooting gallery with my freshly captured goblins, including a safe drop pit in case the design doesn't work.

Then I remembered that in the siege where I captured those goblins my markssquad of five was wiped out because they were convinced they'd need to train right now.
In their barracks in the unfinished, unsecured outside tower. They walked right into the invaders that were currently in the process of being obliterated by my minecart mincer.

I am not even sure who got actually killed by what, it's just a gigant bloody mess in that corridor.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naryar on June 11, 2017, 09:36:40 am
Quote from: spazyak on June 06, 2017, 02:18:33 pm
Quote from: Naryar on June 06, 2017, 11:06:11 am
So some "Og Trottedslayers" petitioned for citizenship at my forteress. I assume it's either one of the bards or one of the warriors that I accepted as a long-term resident, and look for him in the unit list.

Can't find it. I looked twice in Citizens and Others, can't find it.

I finally shrug, try the new statue menu to have a pseudo-legends mode on him, find that "it's an water buffalo of unknown parentage", plus born at least 30 years ago.

Alright, DF. Now you're fucking with me.

I assume it is a bug, accept him as a citizen, look for my new sentient water buffalo citizen in the pets/livestock screen (it was inevitable) and find him.

Except it's not a water buffalo, it's a white tigerman bard. (It's a Fortress Defense civ)

In the pets/livestock screen. Hell, there's another one just next to him in that screen.

What the fuck, dwarves.
I think your dwarves have just invented slavery. Can you mark him to be butchered or gelded?

I can mark him to be butchered, not gelded. Let's see if I can butcher him despite ethics ! For science !

Edit : He seems to be led to the butcher's workshop. Well, I can't give him any jobs because he counts as an animal.

I can't wait for the incoming loyalty cascade.

Edit 2 : Yup, white tigermen was dragged and slaughtered at the butcher's. None of the dwarves seem to care either. No loyalty cascade.

Now I have 30 white tigerman meat. Man, this reminds me of my old days in DF where I modded dwarves to be fine with the butchering of sentients and sieges brought meat, bones and leather instead of just goblinite and cloth.

Edit 3 : Now I have a looming feeling it may be due to tags in the white tigerman raw... Yup, they have [PET] for a reason I do not really care on lingering on that subject, thank you.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naryar on June 13, 2017, 04:49:41 pm
So, I'm building an aboveground fort. With a water moat.

And two dwarves already drowned in it in the interval of maybe two days or so. They just "disappeared" for some reason, my genre savvy kicks in and says it's the moat and I look at it. Two corpses alright.

Really. That's a safe, non-savage, non-evil fort, the water has stopped moving since some time, there are nearly no fighting logs (a few animals snapping at each other at most) so no dodging in the water, they're not even close to the water slopes, and they're not perma-depressed due to moods. No carp either since a few months.

There is no reason to go drown in the water, even including dwarven stupidity (and I've got a few experiences with dwarves randomly "disappearing" next to magma moats, even then those are usually when fighting).

Why are you even doing this, you idiots ?

I'd just pretend this is Armok subtly telling me that he wants sacrifices.  :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naryar on June 17, 2017, 09:19:07 am
My dwarves are still drowning due to stupid reasons.

Literally they get offended by capybaras, dogpile them, go into a stream/murky pool and fail to get out.

It was funny when a dwarf nicknamed Carp Bait did it. It wasn't funny when two more useful dwarves followed suit.

Seriously, what the hell. I don't have this many dwarves.

Going to make an automated swimming training system, it looks like.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Detros on June 18, 2017, 06:49:52 am
Quote from: Naryar on June 17, 2017, 09:19:07 am
My dwarves are still drowning due to stupid reasons.

Literally they get offended by capybaras, dogpile them, go into a stream/murky pool and fail to get out.

It was funny when a dwarf nicknamed Carp Bait did it. It wasn't funny when two more useful dwarves followed suit.

Seriously, what the hell. I don't have this many dwarves.

Going to make an automated swimming training system, it looks like.
You already have an automated swimming training system, you just need to raise its efficiency. So that dwarves learn to swim before they manage to drown.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mathel on June 18, 2017, 07:39:47 am
It depends, whether the moat is fueled by a river, or not. If it is, this would be difficult.

Drain enough water, so that whole moat is just 4 to 6 layers deep. If the moat is connected to river, you will have to plug the channel first. (probably by pouring lava into it)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Naryar on June 19, 2017, 12:50:35 pm
The moat is connected to the river, yes.

River's outside my fortifications and generally dwarves do not get too close to it. Generally.

Moat is 2 z-levels too.

I *would* set that river to less than 7/7 on all tiles, but it would require pumps, waterwheels, and a drawbridge water annihilator...

Hmm, I can probably do that without much fuss. Just a few drawbridges next to the river, destroying water, and probably a water triggered pressure plate triggering them. I can even make it so it doesn't kill dwarves/aquatic wildlife and (probably) not murder my FPS.

Or maybe I can just improve that automated swimming trainer.




Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dycedarg on June 21, 2017, 01:11:15 am
I just started playing again recently after a relatively long break, and I've encountered a fair few face palm moments getting used to things again. A sample:

Human caravan shows up, starts unloading their goods, everything's just fine, then suddenly a wagon that's still outside scuttles for some reason and all remaining traders run for their lives. I'm quite confused, but after scouring the map for what could possibly cause this, I turn up empty handed. I assume it's a random bug and decide to just give all my crap to the dwarven caravan. Autumn comes, they show up, start unloading, then the same thing happens. A wagon scuttles, they all flee. Now I'm highly annoyed as the only caravan I got that year was the elves and all they had was crap, and now I'm going to be stuck with two years worth of discarded clothing cluttering up my stockpiles. Not to mention the scuttled wagons were full of nothing but useless garbage. I start googling to see if I can find a solution. The closest I can find to my situation is a report of that happening when they encounter sentient body parts. Well, I tend to keep things pretty clean and I'm fairly certain I would have noticed if I had random bits of people cluttering my front lawn. I scour the place again and find nothing. Finally I decide to go through the body parts list in the stock menu to see if I can find anything, and lo and behold there are about a half dozen body parts... in the trees. Apparently that wereelephant who came along fairly early in my game and beat a bunch of my dwarves to death with a pig tail sock had also ripped off random limbs and chucked them into nearby trees without my knowing about it. I cut them down and got rid of the body parts and merchants have been fine since, including the time I had just finished a siege and the front entryway was literally riddled with bits of goblin. I guess they don't care about them as much.

Another time an ettin shows up, and since my marksdwarves are sorely in need of a live target for practice I resolve to trap it. Should be a fairly simple operation: Close all the bridges except the trap corridor, forbid the door that leads to it, wait for him to wander into a cage trap on his way to break the door. While, my first derp was forgetting to close the pen I keep my regular dogs in to prevent them from following the war dogs into battle and getting pasted. I close it after only a half dozen run out (at the ettin, of course. Stupid mutts.) Not too bad a loss, always more where they came from, I just have to wait until he's done murdering them and then he'll go into the trap as planned. But wait, now the falcons who have been stuck on top of the wind mill wall for the past year decide now is the perfect time to remember they have legendary climbing and use it to climb down and flee the ettin who can't climb and from whom they would have been perfectly safe had they just stayed put, so now he's murdering dogs and falcons. Ok, also eminently replaceable, it'll be fine. OH FOR THE LOVE OF ARMOK WHO'S SHOOTING AT IT?! Oh, an off duty marksdwarf. On top of the windmill wall. Lovely.

When I built that windmill I had a stairwell next to the shaft for the axle to make mining it out easy, afterwards I destroyed the bottom of it so this sort of thing couldn't happen. He must have somehow spider climbed, or jumped, or something, to get from the floor of the mill chamber to the completely inaccessible stairwell, so he could climb up to the windmill, and climb to the top of the wall (which had no ramps), so he could take pot shots at the ettin, all because he somehow sensed the combat from 4 z levels away and got all vengeful about it. Well, fine at least he's safe up there oh wait he just climbed down from the wall and is now wailing on the ettin with his bone crossbow and complete lack of melee skills. Well, at this point the operations completely shot to heck so I summon the axe lords to take care of things maybe before he gets completely murdered. Of course when I open the door to let them out who runs out first but my 153 year old broker who's also gotten all vengeful and feels the need to join the crossbow moron in trying to cave its skulls in with his ☼Dog Bone Scepter☼.

Oddly enough, both of them escape without injuries. Apparently in the mortal combat with the half dozen untrained non-war dogs the ettin suffered so many bite wounds it was incapable of so much as landing a hit on either completely untrained dwarf in the minute or so he has before the axe lords finally show up. I'm pretty sure it was the lamest uninvited guest I've ever had; its kills consisted of three dogs and two peregrine falcon chicks. The amusing part of it for me was that after my axe lords relieved the ettin of most of its limbs (and one of its heads) who gets the kiling blow but my broker. With his scepter. I have absolutely no idea how that happened.

The most recent moment I had was after killing a forgotten beast, I was having my military do a bit of tidying up in the lowest cavern when a siege arrives at the least opportune moment. Well, I'll just summon them back. I've gotten all of them (or at least I assume so) safely upstairs with someone on his way to seal the entrance so I can focus on the siege when "You have struck microcline! You have struck horn silver!" Oh look, an axe lord climbed down a cliff into an area of the cavern I haven't explored yet and now is chasing crundles all over the place. Needless to say, he won't climb back up the cliff when he's done, so now I'm splitting my attention between doing fortress defense stuff and micromanaging him on his trek through the undiscovered area of the cavern that links the area where he is with the area where the door is. It's fairly painstaking as I have to issue a new station order every twenty or thirty tiles; telling him to go further would just result in his failing to path and just standing there. I somehow manage it without either letting cavern stuff into my fort or completely borking my siege defense, but it was still the most annoying thing to happen to me lately. I haven't had much luck in figuring out when and how the dwarves decide to climb except that they always seem to do so when it makes my life more difficult or complicated, and never when it would make things simpler.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: grenedle on June 28, 2017, 01:20:03 pm
I'm coming back to DF after a while and I was never that experienced even before. I've generated a few worlds and in each one I've had terrible luck finding iron ore. While looking at the wiki page for advanced world generation (for unrelated reasons) I found the problem. I thought that setting Mineral Scarcity to a high number would make minerals more plentiful. I had it backwards; low numbers means more minerals. So I'd been making worlds with minerals set to between Rare and Very Rare this whole time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thisfox on July 06, 2017, 12:29:10 am
We managed to survive the attack of yet another forgotten beast in the upper cavern, and the humans came to trade. I got every trade good I could think of (a remarkable amount of bloodstained xglovesx, xshoesx and XXrobesXX) and looked for the broker, who had no job. Well good. Then I looked again.

No Job (Caged).....

*facedesk* It appears when the forgotten beast cage trap of doom was set off, a few dorfs were in the way of it, and two of those ended up in cage traps (the beast itself was killed by the one remaining speardorf).

New problem: I've put the cages in the main dining hall and am trying to release my caged dwarfs (male and female varieties). It turns out that just unassigning them to the cages isn't enough. I'm putting in a lever, and trying to work out what the hell I might do. It is amusing that they keep being fed and watered in there. There is a stack of buckets around their cages, and everyone keeps dropping off food. "Hi, Urist, you still in here huh? How's caged life treating you? You know you can leave at any time, right? Well, here's a mule spleen for you to eat while you sit in there. And here's a bucket of water..."

I'm trying to attach a lever to these things, to boot them out, but all my engineers are either dead or in a cage. It's a problem I've never had before.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on July 06, 2017, 12:41:53 am
Quote from: Thisfox on July 06, 2017, 12:29:10 am
We managed to survive the attack of yet another forgotten beast in the upper cavern, and the humans came to trade. I got every trade good I could think of (a remarkable amount of bloodstained xglovesx, xshoesx and XXrobesXX) and looked for the broker, who had no job. Well good. Then I looked again.

No Job (Caged).....

*facedesk* It appears when the forgotten beast cage trap of doom was set off, a few dorfs were in the way of it, and two of those ended up in cage traps (the beast itself was killed by the one remaining speardorf).

New problem: I've put the cages in the main dining hall and am trying to release my caged dwarfs (male and female varieties). It turns out that just unassigning them to the cages isn't enough. I'm putting in a lever, and trying to work out what the hell I might do. It is amusing that they keep being fed and watered in there. There is a stack of buckets around their cages, and everyone keeps dropping off food. "Hi, Urist, you still in here huh? How's caged life treating you? You know you can leave at any time, right? Well, here's a mule spleen for you to eat while you sit in there. And here's a bucket of water..."

I'm trying to attach a lever to these things, to boot them out, but all my engineers are either dead or in a cage. It's a problem I've never had before.

I think you might be able to just set a pasture and assign the caged citizens to it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on July 06, 2017, 09:11:06 am
Found one of the animal caretakers on the roof of my 3 story tower. This raised several questions.
For one thing, you might think he climbed to the roof via a staircase, but I have a bridge gate on the roof that was closed.
Second, this was after the most recent merchant incident. Every time the merchants come, vultures follow them into my under trapped depot and scare everyone. This guys was probably startled by a vulture and started... climbing? THREE STORIES? Into an area with MORE VULTURES?

What the heck dude! Did you just want to go up there and scream at them? Why would you do that?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: scourge728 on July 06, 2017, 11:31:49 am
Dwarves default response to a flying animal is to climb things, usually a tree, and then get stuck, they are like cats IRL, except they don't have the excuse of having claws that work great for climbing up, but no so great for climbing down, meaning the cat might really be ACTUALLY stuck

I just now learned you could highlight a word and then click the format buttons and it would be put inside the formatting tags
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on July 06, 2017, 11:52:27 am
Quote from: scourge728 on July 06, 2017, 11:31:49 am
Dwarves default response to a flying animal is to climb things, usually a tree, and then get stuck, they are like cats IRL, except they don't have the excuse of having claws that work great for climbing up, but no so great for climbing down, meaning the cat might really be ACTUALLY stuck

I just now learned you could highlight a word and then click the format buttons and it would be put inside the formatting tags

I want you to imagine someone seeing a bird, saying "oh s**t a vulture" and climbing a three story building.

And only learning that bit about formatting is truly the greatest face palm moment of all.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: scourge728 on July 06, 2017, 02:37:27 pm
Quote from: Derpy Dev on July 06, 2017, 11:52:27 am

I want you to imagine someone seeing a bird, saying "oh s**t a vulture" and climbing a three story building.

Sigged
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on July 06, 2017, 03:19:14 pm
Quote from: scourge728 on July 06, 2017, 02:37:27 pm
Quote from: Derpy Dev on July 06, 2017, 11:52:27 am

I want you to imagine someone seeing a bird, saying "oh s**t a vulture" and climbing a three story building.

Sigged

heehee thanks
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thisfox on July 06, 2017, 04:13:57 pm
Quote from: Rockphed on July 06, 2017, 12:41:53 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I think you might be able to just set a pasture and assign the caged citizens to it.

I thought so too, but it turns out that they don't turn up in the pasture menu.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on July 06, 2017, 09:09:06 pm
Caved one of my squad into cages to test that, too, and turns out I can't pit them either in 43.03*, but if the cage is unassigned they'll just walk out on their own. Otherwise, being built into barracks, they'll try to organize combat demonstrations but never quite manage to start it.

* :( (one of the methods of digging through revealed SMR I thought of relied on that)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Buckley on July 10, 2017, 02:20:39 pm
Heh...just started playing in earnest again after about a 6 month break.  Knocked the dust off and had a pretty good fort going when all the sudden...

"Meow."  A cat has given birth to kittens...

A few seconds later...

"Meow."  A cat has given birth to kittens....

O.o  Oh no!  I thought... CATSPLOSION!!!!  Managed to get the gelding done before it got completely out of control.  Had to dedicate about 5 dorfs to the task and build a couple extra Farmer's Workshops.  It was actually kinda hilarious... especially when job cancellations with the "handling dangerious creature" messages started coming in.  I now have about 28 cats from my starting 2.  Kinda think it's cool actually to picture all these crazy ass dwarves running around with cats everywhere... seems fitting.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Thisfox on July 10, 2017, 11:51:00 pm
Quote from: Buckley on July 10, 2017, 02:20:39 pm
... especially when job cancellations with the "handling dangerious creature" messages started coming in.

Oh hahahaha yes. "Young Thomas The Kitten would prefer to KEEP his cobblers thankyou so much...." MeeeYOW!

I have this mental image of a whole lot of dorfs standing in line at the local hospital, waiting for their scratches to be cleaned with cat-soap, given a few stitches, and dressed with a bandage. Later, everyone knows if you were a member of that fort from the ritual catscratch lines on everyones faces. That said, whenever I receive a tomcat in this game, I immediately schedule him for gelding. He can stay (vermin are always an issue) but his cobblers can't. But I've not noticed the cancellation spam, that's wonderful  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on July 13, 2017, 01:20:39 pm
So my dwarves made an artifact blowgun, and to add insult to injury it had an image of an artifact bow they had made earlier on it.

Thanks for that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StarWars1981 on July 14, 2017, 08:18:36 pm
Artifact made by tiny little Dwarven child.
Materials: 2 limonite, pig iron bar, iron bar, red tourmaline cut gem, and something else. Diorite maybe? Or wood?

Result: A limonite earring, decorated with itself in iron.

Idiot Dwarf child. And it's a 2 YEAR OLD, so I have 10 YEARS before I can use the new legendary something-or-other-crafter.

*Base might've been wood, I can't remember... xD Idc enough to check.

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: escondida on July 14, 2017, 08:28:26 pm
Quote from: Derpy Dev on July 13, 2017, 01:20:39 pm
So my dwarves made an artifact blowgun, and to add insult to injury it had an image of an artifact bow they had made earlier on it.

Thanks for that.

If it's made of a lightweight material, you might consider giving it to the Sheriff or Hammerer (if you decide to actually have those positions).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on July 14, 2017, 08:38:37 pm
Quote from: escondida on July 14, 2017, 08:28:26 pm
Quote from: Derpy Dev on July 13, 2017, 01:20:39 pm
So my dwarves made an artifact blowgun, and to add insult to injury it had an image of an artifact bow they had made earlier on it.

Thanks for that.

If it's made of a lightweight material, you might consider giving it to the Sheriff or Hammerer (if you decide to actually have those positions).

I have a Captain of the Guard, but no hammerer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eater of Vermin on July 16, 2017, 02:19:17 am
I need to make a pump stack well over 100 z-levels tall.

So, I place an axle & hanging gear at the top to hang pumps down from, and axles every 10th z-level or so so I can install multiple pumps at the same time, working both up & down.

Built 50 levels or so and decided to do a quick functionality check, removing all 'supporting' side axles except the bottom-most which was the power feed and was hooked up thru a gear to disengage.

Looked good, threw the lever...  and it showered glass corkscrews, tubes and blocks.   :o

Apparently - I have no idea how but obviously "my bad" - my mechanic had also linked the top-most gear to the lever.

You know... the one that I was relying on for support during construction and should never, ever, EVER have been either functional or removed until everything was completed?


 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eschar on July 18, 2017, 06:05:46 pm
I dumped a load of stone down a garbage chute without checking who was on the adjacent stairs. My broker (and one of my favorite dwarves, for no discernible reason) is now one step closer to losing all use of her hands.
She started losing it when I assigned her to the military to go kill a unicorn. It so happens that I'd confused the symbol for a unicorn with the symbol for the lasher who had just visited my tavern, and who then proceeded to give all of my 7 military dwarves nasty injuries. And no unicorn products.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on July 19, 2017, 07:37:28 pm
Quote from: Eschar on July 18, 2017, 06:05:46 pm
I dumped a load of stone down a garbage chute without checking who was on the adjacent stairs. My broker (and one of my favorite dwarves, for no discernible reason) is now one step closer to losing all use of her hands.
She started losing it when I assigned her to the military to go kill a unicorn. It so happens that I'd confused the symbol for a unicorn with the symbol for the lasher who had just visited my tavern, and who then proceeded to give all of my 7 military dwarves nasty injuries. And no unicorn products.

Why is your garbage chute right next to pedestrian walkways :[ omg ]

Also, recommend you mod the lasher's race into unicorns then make unicorn things out of them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: andrian on July 19, 2017, 08:52:59 pm
I'm not quite sure what happened, and my battle logs aren't helping me figure it out. I'm embarked on a glacier, which is a new biome for me. As usual, I dug into the side of a slope to build my entrance, and this location just happened to be made partly of ice. I got a goblin invasion and accidentally looked away for too long. When I came back, the siege had been broken (because my defenses are pretty solid), but I noticed that there were a lot of ice walls in places where they hadn't been before. Upon exploring the fortress some more, it looks as though something with fire breath must have gotten into a fight in my fortress entrance and melted away some of the smoothed ice fortifications I was using for defense. This must have allowed the fire-breathing creature to enter my fortress and create some more havoc before finally being defeated or leaving. I still have no idea what did the fire breathing or what happened to it. Right now, I'm just trying to clean up my dining room and rebuild my fortifications out of something fireproof.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on July 19, 2017, 09:04:26 pm
Quote from: andrian on July 19, 2017, 08:52:59 pm
I'm not quite sure what happened, and my battle logs aren't helping me figure it out. I'm embarked on a glacier, which is a new biome for me. As usual, I dug into the side of a slope to build my entrance, and this location just happened to be made partly of ice. I got a goblin invasion and accidentally looked away for too long. When I came back, the siege had been broken (because my defenses are pretty solid), but I noticed that there were a lot of ice walls in places where they hadn't been before. Upon exploring the fortress some more, it looks as though something with fire breath must have gotten into a fight in my fortress entrance and melted away some of the smoothed ice fortifications I was using for defense. This must have allowed the fire-breathing creature to enter my fortress and create some more havoc before finally being defeated or leaving. I still have no idea what did the fire breathing or what happened to it. Right now, I'm just trying to clean up my dining room and rebuild my fortifications out of something fireproof.

Hmm... I know that if an ambush comes and gets noticed by a siege, the game doesn't tell you even when they fight it out. So maybe something snuck onto the map and... breathed fire?

What the hell can sneak and breath fire? I don't think kobolds can do that. Any mods installed that might add something like that? Do you have any defenses that might light something on fire? Or better yet, are there any fire snakes or magma crabs that can get to the surface? They might be able to do something like that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: andrian on July 19, 2017, 09:31:00 pm
Quote from: Derpy Dev on July 19, 2017, 09:04:26 pm
Quote from: andrian on July 19, 2017, 08:52:59 pm
I'm not quite sure what happened, and my battle logs aren't helping me figure it out. I'm embarked on a glacier, which is a new biome for me. As usual, I dug into the side of a slope to build my entrance, and this location just happened to be made partly of ice. I got a goblin invasion and accidentally looked away for too long. When I came back, the siege had been broken (because my defenses are pretty solid), but I noticed that there were a lot of ice walls in places where they hadn't been before. Upon exploring the fortress some more, it looks as though something with fire breath must have gotten into a fight in my fortress entrance and melted away some of the smoothed ice fortifications I was using for defense. This must have allowed the fire-breathing creature to enter my fortress and create some more havoc before finally being defeated or leaving. I still have no idea what did the fire breathing or what happened to it. Right now, I'm just trying to clean up my dining room and rebuild my fortifications out of something fireproof.

Hmm... I know that if an ambush comes and gets noticed by a siege, the game doesn't tell you even when they fight it out. So maybe something snuck onto the map and... breathed fire?

What the hell can sneak and breath fire? I don't think kobolds can do that. Any mods installed that might add something like that? Do you have any defenses that might light something on fire? Or better yet, are there any fire snakes or magma crabs that can get to the surface? They might be able to do something like that.

I'm really not sure. I think it was fighting the goblins, because I see some dead beak dogs. I'm running vanilla, though there is the chance that a magma crab got out of my volcano. I haven't yet managed to fully cap it off... Maybe a fire imp? It definitely wasn't any of my defenses. I'm really sorry I missed it. I would have liked to observe the effects of fire on ice. Whatever it was, it seems to have produced a LOT of fire, as there's a pretty long area of revealed solid ice walls in a straight line.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on July 19, 2017, 10:01:15 pm
Quote from: andrian on July 19, 2017, 09:31:00 pm
Quote from: Derpy Dev on July 19, 2017, 09:04:26 pm
Quote from: andrian on July 19, 2017, 08:52:59 pm
I'm not quite sure what happened, and my battle logs aren't helping me figure it out. I'm embarked on a glacier, which is a new biome for me. As usual, I dug into the side of a slope to build my entrance, and this location just happened to be made partly of ice. I got a goblin invasion and accidentally looked away for too long. When I came back, the siege had been broken (because my defenses are pretty solid), but I noticed that there were a lot of ice walls in places where they hadn't been before. Upon exploring the fortress some more, it looks as though something with fire breath must have gotten into a fight in my fortress entrance and melted away some of the smoothed ice fortifications I was using for defense. This must have allowed the fire-breathing creature to enter my fortress and create some more havoc before finally being defeated or leaving. I still have no idea what did the fire breathing or what happened to it. Right now, I'm just trying to clean up my dining room and rebuild my fortifications out of something fireproof.

Hmm... I know that if an ambush comes and gets noticed by a siege, the game doesn't tell you even when they fight it out. So maybe something snuck onto the map and... breathed fire?

What the hell can sneak and breath fire? I don't think kobolds can do that. Any mods installed that might add something like that? Do you have any defenses that might light something on fire? Or better yet, are there any fire snakes or magma crabs that can get to the surface? They might be able to do something like that.

I'm really not sure. I think it was fighting the goblins, because I see some dead beak dogs. I'm running vanilla, though there is the chance that a magma crab got out of my volcano. I haven't yet managed to fully cap it off... Maybe a fire imp? It definitely wasn't any of my defenses. I'm really sorry I missed it. I would have liked to observe the effects of fire on ice. Whatever it was, it seems to have produced a LOT of fire, as there's a pretty long area of revealed solid ice walls in a straight line.

I have no freaking idea man. Fire imp makes the most sense, especially if there is a volcano nearby.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on July 20, 2017, 09:04:16 am
Noooooot necessarily a fire-breathing creature (though check your dead lists).

When I ran few tests for last year's gladiator team tournament, one of the blocking shanking antmen versus biting armored snekman tessssts resulted in this in freezing arena:
Quote from: Fleeting Frames
(https://i.imgur.com/4Wm6SXh.png)
Dueled each other in a flat, if cramped and freezing room.

That's one unbelievable "I'm taking you with me." attack.
(https://i.imgur.com/p85q9Zh.png)
Slightly afraid of Maia, now. That shouldn't be possible!
(https://i.imgur.com/e2cbik3.png)
still wtfing

Good luck!
No idea as to how, still.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on July 20, 2017, 10:25:59 am
Quote from: Fleeting Frames on July 20, 2017, 09:04:16 am
Noooooot necessarily a fire-breathing creature (though check your dead lists).

When I ran few tests for last year's gladiator team tournament, one of the blocking shanking antmen versus biting armored snekman tessssts resulted in this in freezing arena:
Quote from: Fleeting Frames
(https://i.imgur.com/4Wm6SXh.png)
Dueled each other in a flat, if cramped and freezing room.

That's one unbelievable "I'm taking you with me." attack.
(https://i.imgur.com/p85q9Zh.png)
Slightly afraid of Maia, now. That shouldn't be possible!
(https://i.imgur.com/e2cbik3.png)
still wtfing

Good luck!
No idea as to how, still.

*sniff sniff* You smell that?

That's the smell of science getting done.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eschar on July 20, 2017, 05:52:08 pm
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on July 19, 2017, 07:37:28 pm
Quote from: Eschar on July 18, 2017, 06:05:46 pm
I dumped a load of stone down a garbage chute without checking who was on the adjacent stairs. My broker (and one of my favorite dwarves, for no discernible reason) is now one step closer to losing all use of her hands.
She started losing it when I assigned her to the military to go kill a unicorn. It so happens that I'd confused the symbol for a unicorn with the symbol for the lasher who had just visited my tavern, and who then proceeded to give all of my 7 military dwarves nasty injuries. And no unicorn products.

Why is your garbage chute right next to pedestrian walkways :[ omg ]

Also, recommend you mod the lasher's race into unicorns then make unicorn things out of them.
It wasn't a walkway! It was the column of up/down stairs I had made so that the miners who mined the garbage chute could get out, instead of starving to death.
And the lasher's corpse has rotted to a skeleton now, at the bottom of the aforementioned garbage chute. Perhaps it was even what crushed Obok the Broker's hands. For the sake of irony, I hope it was.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Romeofalling on July 21, 2017, 10:01:00 pm
Human/werejaguar attacked my fort WAY before I was ready for anybody to show up. Amazingly, it dodged an attack into the single cage trap that was actually armed.

A few months later, I'm horrified to discover ANOTHER werejaguar is apparently on my turf. I scour the entire fortress for about an hour, looking for it.

Finally realized that the notification was about the caged guy, who was still sitting in my animals stockpile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: andrian on July 22, 2017, 07:20:16 am
Quote from: Romeofalling on July 21, 2017, 10:01:00 pm
Human/werejaguar attacked my fort WAY before I was ready for anybody to show up. Amazingly, it dodged an attack into the single cage trap that was actually armed.

A few months later, I'm horrified to discover ANOTHER werejaguar is apparently on my turf. I scour the entire fortress for about an hour, looking for it.

Finally realized that the notification was about the caged guy, who was still sitting in my animals stockpile.

Just be glad the thing didn't manage to bite anyone. Werebeast infestations are almost impossible to deal with.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on July 22, 2017, 08:38:40 am
Did some science with a bunch of creatures fighting in the arena while surrounded by ice.
Results? Inconclusive at best. No creature moved any ice blocks. I even threw in a few fire imps and they didn't melt any ice with their fire. This makes me suspect that arena mode temperatures work differently.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Romeofalling on July 22, 2017, 01:54:53 pm
Quote from: andrian on July 22, 2017, 07:20:16 am
Just be glad the thing didn't manage to bite anyone. Werebeast infestations are almost impossible to deal with.

Meh. I go for a Telltale Heart Defense method for dealing with premise werebeasts, and since I tend to embark on sand or clay soil layers, building prisons to wall them into is usually no problem. This time was rough because I only had 10 dorfs & 4 of them were involved.

I'm curious to know why nearly every unarmed dorf that gets into a fight manages to grab their opponent by the tongue and repeatedly punch it in the face. I've been mucking about with Advanced World Parameters, so this is like the 6th world/fortress I've seen it happen on. Dorfs with A
absolutely zero combat experience. Legendary fighters. Everybody, it seems.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on July 22, 2017, 02:31:24 pm
Quote from: Derpy Dev on July 22, 2017, 08:38:40 am
Did some science with a bunch of creatures fighting in the arena while surrounded by ice.
Results? Inconclusive at best. No creature moved any ice blocks. I even threw in a few fire imps and they didn't melt any ice with their fire. This makes me suspect that arena mode temperatures work differently.
That encasing wasn't around ice for me. They were under several z, x and y levels of rock. It's also pretty rare, as you might guess from "rattlesnake man" 96 (and Maia wasn't the only one I tested, so multiply that by few).

It'd be cool way to get water on (partially)-freezing waterless maps, if I understood how it worked and could easily replicate in fort mode. Alas.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: andrian on July 22, 2017, 05:04:25 pm
Quote from: Romeofalling on July 22, 2017, 01:54:53 pm
Quote from: andrian on July 22, 2017, 07:20:16 am
Just be glad the thing didn't manage to bite anyone. Werebeast infestations are almost impossible to deal with.

Meh. I go for a Telltale Heart Defense method for dealing with premise werebeasts, and since I tend to embark on sand or clay soil layers, building prisons to wall them into is usually no problem. This time was rough because I only had 10 dorfs & 4 of them were involved.

I'm curious to know why nearly every unarmed dorf that gets into a fight manages to grab their opponent by the tongue and repeatedly punch it in the face. I've been mucking about with Advanced World Parameters, so this is like the 6th world/fortress I've seen it happen on. Dorfs with A
absolutely zero combat experience. Legendary fighters. Everybody, it seems.

I usually have a hard time keeping track of who might be infected. The best defense I've come up with so far is to simply quarantine everyone who happens to be outside when the werebeast arrives and find some way to kill them off, but  that's super inefficient and results in a lot of dead dwarves.

...I tend to turn off werebeasts and vampires at worldgen. I don't like dealing with them. Too much micromanagement.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Romeofalling on July 22, 2017, 09:11:45 pm
I thought I was particularly clever by ordering the cage with the human in it sent to the depot, knowing that he would transfer back to the werebeast while in the depot. If he stayed caged, I could try selling him. If he broke free, the caravan guards would take care of him for me. Brilliant, right?

Only, he broke free while in transport, and I lost 3 dwarves and another two were bitten, including pretty much my entire nobility -- expedition leader/broker/manager, chief medical dwarf, spare carpenter, spare mason.

Plan is to drown them through judicious use of the aquifer and floodgates.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on July 22, 2017, 09:19:12 pm
Not broke free. He was let free. You didn't own the human, but merely detained them, and thus you dwarves would only trade the cage, and not the human inside.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on July 22, 2017, 09:20:32 pm
Quote from: andrian on July 22, 2017, 05:04:25 pm
...I tend to turn off werebeasts and vampires at worldgen. I don't like dealing with them. Too much micromanagement.

I've faced werebeasts a couple of times, but I have never once seen a vampire outside of adventure mode. It's pretty annoying if I'm gonna be honest.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on July 24, 2017, 08:23:19 pm
I had one once, wayyyy back when they first released.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: oldmansutton on July 25, 2017, 10:11:32 am
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on July 24, 2017, 08:23:19 pm
I had one once, wayyyy back when they first released.

Come to think of it, me either.  It seems like when they first came out, EVERY fort had to worry about a vampire within the first 2 or 3 years.  Now I've not seen it since .43, possible even .42 came out, at least.

I loved my first vampire though... he drained a victim, in the dormitory.  I had a justice system in place, and there were something like 23 witnesses to the event.  Everybody pointed their finger to the vampire.  The vampire tried accusing somebody's pet duck.  I laughed so hard.  "Naw man, you guys got it all wrong!  It was the duck, the DUCK I SAY!  LOOK AT HIM!  He's the one you want!"   ... *ducks quackles maniacally as sobbing dwarf is led away*

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on July 25, 2017, 03:34:46 pm
Quote from: oldmansutton on July 25, 2017, 10:11:32 am
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on July 24, 2017, 08:23:19 pm
I had one once, wayyyy back when they first released.

Come to think of it, me either.  It seems like when they first came out, EVERY fort had to worry about a vampire within the first 2 or 3 years.  Now I've not seen it since .43, possible even .42 came out, at least.

I loved my first vampire though... he drained a victim, in the dormitory.  I had a justice system in place, and there were something like 23 witnesses to the event.  Everybody pointed their finger to the vampire.  The vampire tried accusing somebody's pet duck.  I laughed so hard.  "Naw man, you guys got it all wrong!  It was the duck, the DUCK I SAY!  LOOK AT HIM!  He's the one you want!"   ... *ducks quackles maniacally as sobbing dwarf is led away*

Court proceedings for "The Entire Fortress vs. Count "Bleh" Dwarfula" came to a fowl twist today as the prosecution brought in a surprise witness. The testimony of "Mr. Quackers" is expected to turn the tide of the case in favor of the prosecution.

More at 11.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: AlBravo on July 29, 2017, 08:11:20 am
After years of waiting out an undead siege they finally left.  But two zombies were left.  One was up a tree and the other on top of a wall.  After many many failed attempts to shoot them down.  I finally assembled a ballista on top of a tower to shoot the zombie out of the tree.  The first shot surprised me by toppling every treetop it hit.  And it hit the tree my zombie friend was in sending him to the ground.  After he massacred two more dwarves he wandered off the map.  The last zombie finally descended a tree near his wall to mutilate yet another dwarf.  With some strategic hatch/bridge door manipulation I finally got him  in a cage trap.  My worries were finally over.  I began the massive cleanup.  One of the chores was to move all my livestock from the temporary cavern pasture to my topside pasture.  So I dutifully ran through the list of all my animals moving them all to the pasture.  Unfortunately caged prisoners are included in that list.  And to my surprise I started getting combat reports again.  Sure enough I had let loose that last zombie amidst my animals.  In a final act of desperation I drafted everyone in the fort into the military and sent them after him.  I lost two more dwarves and a dog.  *Slams forehead into desk repeatedly*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bloop_bleep on July 30, 2017, 03:56:24 pm
I remember having a vampire in one of my first 43.03 forts (fifth, I think). I tried in vain to figure out who the vampire was while he drained 6 more dwarves of their blood. I eventually gave up and used DFHack cursecheck to find the bastard. I locked him up in a room for later use. Never did use him though...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: andrian on July 30, 2017, 04:14:04 pm
So, I had a bit of a facepalm moment. I was working on removing some constructed floors, and I had built some cage traps on top of them. I figured the floors with the cage traps wouldn't be designated for removal, but I WAS WRONG. The dwarves removed the floors beneath the cage traps, causing numerous cave-ins, but I didn't know that until after most of the cave-ins had happened. More amusingly, the cage traps that were on floors that were removed without being on caved-in floors remained floating in mid-air, meaning that the only way for me to even deconstruct them is to build walls beneath them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on July 31, 2017, 12:10:14 am
Yeah. Cave-ins destroy buildings, and pretty much all of them can float partly or entirely in mid-air, though you can build only a handful (partly) over mid-air initially (bridges, well and magma workshops, machine components).

Mid-air weapon traps can strike at swimming/flying enemies, so there's that for nokeas. I haven't actually checked if cage falls down or remains in same tile, though....

Also neat: If you dig downstairs, build floor, build building, then deconstruct floor you get a building built over downstairs. As downstairs are walkable, it's nice if you use a pressure plate and fluid.

Main use for both of the above would be materials tile or two closer to workshops tbh, but it also allows one to do aesthetic "air tunnels" with d-b-h to hide bridges/windows on the side. Can even have "floating floors" if you build a chain of supports and deconstruct all floors but the top one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: scourge728 on July 31, 2017, 10:07:41 am
Ah Bay 12, where we exploit physics engine glitches to brutally murder keas
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Jackzriel on August 02, 2017, 10:09:27 am
A Titan entered my fort and now he is in the mayor's room walled in forever, first time I've got a mayor that isn't a whiny dwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TKR101010 on August 03, 2017, 06:43:23 pm
Quote from: Michaelsoftman on April 20, 2009, 09:42:01 pm
Quote from: AncientEnemy on April 20, 2009, 09:18:57 pm
discovering the d->b menu.

oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones

Oh man same here for me.

Hey thanks! :) I had been wishing for a better way of marking stuff to dump.

My recent facepalm moment was not making sure the permanent bridge was completed (or indeed even worked on, stupid dwarfs) before deconstructing the wooden temporary bridge and getting a bunch of dwarfs stranded. :( The two bridges were in different areas of the map. I noticed the dwarfs kept using the wooden bridge down in the valley instead of the stone bridge near the mountain peak we were digging a shaft into. We had built walls and other things in that same area and so I assumed the bridge was finished. When I started getting starvation messages I figured out that the stone bridge was only designated but not worked on yet. And now the dwarf that would build it is separated from the stockpile with the blocks to make it. Fortunately I was able to get everyone home and fed in the end. :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MantisMan on August 10, 2017, 02:56:42 pm
When building my hospital well in my current fort, I finally dipped into mechanics and used a pump to move water from the brook into the cistern.

All this time I was using floodgates and channeling a new tile from the brook in order to get some indoor water.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on August 12, 2017, 11:22:16 am
Quote from: MantisMan on August 10, 2017, 02:56:42 pm
When building my hospital well in my current fort, I finally dipped into mechanics and used a pump to move water from the brook into the cistern.

All this time I was using floodgates and channeling a new tile from the brook in order to get some indoor water.

I use exclusively water pressure. I'll dig down below the waterline no matter how far it is.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pumble on August 12, 2017, 05:16:27 pm
My guys were living in thee caverns, really deep underground. I'm not sure how it happened, but whilst doing some slight alterations to a room, the ground broke apart and fell downwards.

Unfortunately, right below said room was a dining hall, full of guys eating at the table. It all crashed down on them and killed several of them.

It reminds me of some home insurance advertisement.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: thoa on August 13, 2017, 03:23:55 am
I embarked on a dark fortress. It only took 60 embarks but I got a sweet tower out of it and found out what hell was.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on August 13, 2017, 10:57:07 am
Quote from: thoa on August 13, 2017, 03:23:55 am
I embarked on a dark fortress. It only took 60 embarks but I got a sweet tower out of it and found out what hell was.

spoilers dude

But that sounds like an awesome first encounter.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on August 13, 2017, 01:56:17 pm
Quote from: thoa on August 13, 2017, 03:23:55 am
I embarked on a dark fortress. It only took 60 embarks but I got a sweet tower out of it and found out what hell was.

How?  I could swear that post 40d dwarf fortress didn't allow embarking on other people's sites.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on August 13, 2017, 02:35:52 pm
Embark-anywhere. I've seen them myself and they're pretty imposing. Took bit of inspiration from one for Moonhome.

Not sure why it took thoa 60 embarks though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: thoa on August 13, 2017, 03:26:06 pm
I kept forgetting to buy weapons at embark. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on August 13, 2017, 03:36:17 pm
Quote from: Fleeting Frames on August 13, 2017, 02:35:52 pm
Embark-anywhere. I've seen them myself and they're pretty imposing. Took bit of inspiration from one for Moonhome.

Not sure why it took thoa 60 embarks though.

I've talked about it before, but I've used embark anywhere to embark on vaults and tombs before as well. Tombs are admittedly rather uninteresting because the mummies don't seem to spawn, and vaults are FPS hogs, plus most of the residents are labeled as pets for some weird reason.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MCreeper on August 19, 2017, 01:26:27 pm
Old masterwork, semi-evil biome(no evil weather or revival). After attack of garpies only two dwarfs left, on healthy and inside, and horribly wounded blacksmith, Thekkud God-forsaken camps. After the fight, he started to veeeeryyy slowly  crawl  to the fort cave in a hill. He was starving and dehydrated, but since he was able to move(?) second dwarf won't pick up him. When he was about 20 tiles from entrance, he gone crazy, then walked to the food stockpile at normal speed immediately.
Why you... cuckoo, need to go insane to get to food to save your damn life?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aerieshot, Hall of Tombs on September 01, 2017, 05:27:35 am
Making a huge above-ground-Fort with a big moat. Then a siege came and I totally forgot to build the last wall. The attackers just swam through my moat and slaughtered my dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on September 02, 2017, 04:21:00 pm
totally closed underground fort - goblins show up and everyone runs in and we close the front bridgegate.
still some dorf are fighting from time to time with beakdogs, trolls and goblins...
it took me a week to realise the roof of my farm had a hole from the last treecutting.
we still fought them off there, closed the roof and then a coppertitan showed up killing half of the remaining gobbos, who then fled after they killed him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on September 02, 2017, 04:53:01 pm
Accidentally made my stockpile for trash compacting under a bridge be the stockpile for masterworks. Oops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on September 02, 2017, 06:11:47 pm
Quote from: StagnantSoul on September 02, 2017, 04:53:01 pm
Accidentally made my stockpile for trash compacting under a bridge be the stockpile for masterworks. Oops.

The dwarves fell to their knees as the sky cracked open, and the Art God came forth from the shattered heavens and declared, "What the actual hell dude?"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on September 02, 2017, 06:15:19 pm
"He finds art offensive and would have it destroyed whenever possible."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Anandar on September 05, 2017, 04:33:36 am
The first time i played dwarf fortress i thought worldgen was actually playing the game, got annoyed and left it for a month, and a workmate laughed at me and told me what i needed to do... FACEPALM!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mathel on September 05, 2017, 08:01:12 am
First look at the image please. (In spoiler)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Explanation:

When I wanted everyone to haul stone, I made a profession stonehauler, which was only haul stone.
While stonehauling appears to be broken, because they did not haul the stone even though there was no reason for them not to,
when I turned autolabor back on, most of them kept the profession name.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on September 05, 2017, 10:21:06 am
Quote from: Anandar on September 05, 2017, 04:33:36 am
The first time i played dwarf fortress i thought worldgen was actually playing the game, got annoyed and left it for a month, and a workmate laughed at me and told me what i needed to do... FACEPALM!
To be fair, I sometimes do gen highly customized worlds just to see how they turn out, without any intention to play them beyond at most Legends Mode.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lestmurphy on September 07, 2017, 07:53:51 pm
I was wondering why my FPS took a nose dive...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

My dwarf in the middle of the swamp was on his way to pull the level one z-level up that turns off the pump. He very nearly drowned.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on September 08, 2017, 02:39:39 am
Quote from: lestmurphy on September 07, 2017, 07:53:51 pm
I was wondering why my FPS took a nose dive...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

My dwarf in the middle of the swamp was on his way to pull the level one z-level up that turns off the pump. He very nearly drowned.

"dive"... hehe :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on September 10, 2017, 03:28:25 pm
Quote from: gunpowdertea on September 08, 2017, 02:39:39 am
Quote from: lestmurphy on September 07, 2017, 07:53:51 pm
I was wondering why my FPS took a nose dive...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

My dwarf in the middle of the swamp was on his way to pull the level one z-level up that turns off the pump. He very nearly drowned.

"dive"... hehe :D

Pfffffffffffffffffft...  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on September 10, 2017, 03:57:09 pm
Was just following a suggestion to just cavein a warehouse off the side of a place... Set up a support and lever and all, standard procedure, dug a hallway to get to it... When I got the notification of the collapse, I see a pair of crushed bodies in the area... Apparently two haulers decided to bring over stone from the hallway I dug to the nearby soon to be collapsed warehouse just as it goes down...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Moonstone_Flower on September 10, 2017, 06:24:39 pm
I...  This was the name of the group's symbol.  Proof that DF has a strange sense of... irony?

The Shafts of Holes

Why in Armok's name-

P.S.  I'd upload a screenshot if I could.  Need an image hosting site that doesn't force javascript on you.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nefarian on September 10, 2017, 07:08:38 pm
Not exactly a facepalm moment...but...well, just look at the image.


http://imgur.com/a/m0Zla
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Moonstone_Flower on September 10, 2017, 07:37:27 pm
Oh dear stars above, Nefarian.  That is so much worse better.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on September 12, 2017, 03:43:07 pm
Quote from: Moonstone_Flower on September 10, 2017, 06:24:39 pm
P.S.  I'd upload a screenshot if I could.  Need an image hosting site that doesn't force javascript on you.
I use (encapsulated in my own scripts) imgur-screenshot.sh to upload images and get links without visiting the site itself. Mayb that works for you?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Moonstone_Flower on September 16, 2017, 10:00:00 pm
Quote from: Fleeting Frames on September 12, 2017, 03:43:07 pm
Quote from: Moonstone_Flower on September 10, 2017, 06:24:39 pm
P.S.  I'd upload a screenshot if I could.  Need an image hosting site that doesn't force javascript on you.
I use (encapsulated in my own scripts) imgur-screenshot.sh to upload images and get links without visiting the site itself. Mayb that works for you?

Nice, it works without an account!

Holy flopping lungfish, Fleeting Frames, I love you - platonically, of course.  No javascript and I can use it from the shell.  Now to get around to processing these screenshots I have sitting around...

P.S.  That script needs more exposure.  Into the signature it goes!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on September 17, 2017, 06:58:36 am
Haha, aw thanks. Though I'm not the creator of imgur-screenshot.sh. Still, the ability to screenshot and upload in seconds is nice.

I posted the encapsulation in Any image hosts that don't use jajascript? (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=167471.msg7566562#new), but you probably saw it :v (I like to give my images names and links in names).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Monomstodir on September 18, 2017, 04:26:58 am
When embarking onto a volcano, it is advisable to deal with any ghostly miners before they become perturbed, lest they knock a hole in the side of the volcano and flood half the map with magma. That, or the sand walls gave way. Which could be !fun!

Also, aquifer query - if an aquifer is within a glacier, it can't be used as a water source, right? I've a well built over 7/7 water within a glacier, but its reporting as dry.

ETA: ok, revisited an older save to check - no ghostly miners, just a volcano with at least a +/-20z fluctuating lava pool causing the !!fun!!. Didn't realise the magma level could rise that far. So, patch job on the lower slopes, with or without an outlet channel to the edge of the map. Maybe cast some ice for a breech warning and opportunistic obsidian. Still a facepalm moment, if only because I was too absorbed in laying out my bedrooms to notice the magma dripping in the main door....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Moonstone_Flower on September 18, 2017, 08:15:04 am
Quote from: Fleeting Frames on September 17, 2017, 06:58:36 am
Haha, aw thanks. Though I'm not the creator of imgur-screenshot.sh. Still, the ability to screenshot and upload in seconds is nice.

I posted the encapsulation in Any image hosts that don't use jajascript? (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=167471.msg7566562#new), but you probably saw it :v (I like to give my images names and links in names).

*Facepalm*  I actually didn't see that thread until just now via that link.

(This facepalm may or may not be on topic.  It was a facepalm moment...)

= = = = =

"Hey, where is everyone?  I don't remember these dwarfs...  Wait..."  *Checks fortress name*

*Loaded the wrong save*

*Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Staalo on September 22, 2017, 03:32:39 am
Now what was I thinking when I decided it was a good idea to use the garbage chute leading to a magma pipe to also drain water?

See you all next year when I've finished with all this "A section of the cavern has collapsed!" spam.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Vrakanas on September 22, 2017, 10:07:01 am
Quote from: Nefarian on September 10, 2017, 07:08:38 pm
Not exactly a facepalm moment...but...well, just look at the image.


http://imgur.com/a/m0Zla

Welcome to Tijuana fortress
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Monomstodir on September 25, 2017, 10:29:12 am
Note to self - The river floods in winter. Remember this, before opening a new corridor/fishing jetty onto your main stairwell...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Z49000 on September 27, 2017, 02:10:40 am
Glassmaker gets fey mood, and we have no sand.

We've already dug his grave, and locked the room where the Glass furnace is. First Mood of the year, I should add. First mood, and we can't get anything from it. With the Werechameleon attack a few months earlier, I'm gonna take that as a bad omen.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Moonstone_Flower on September 27, 2017, 12:36:56 pm
"The Broker bites the Giant Grey Squirrel in the teeth [...]"

Dude, we need you at the de-

"The Recordskeeper bites the Giant Grey Squirrel in the left lower incisor [...]"

Stop snogging that giant squirrel and get to the depot, we have-

"The giant grey squirrel collapses and falls to the ground from over-exertion."

DOOD.  STAHP.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TubaDragoness on September 28, 2017, 03:12:06 am
Quote from: Z49000 on September 27, 2017, 02:10:40 am
Glassmaker gets fey mood, and we have no sand.

We've already dug his grave, and locked the room where the Glass furnace is. First Mood of the year, I should add. First mood, and we can't get anything from it. With the Werechameleon attack a few months earlier, I'm gonna take that as a bad omen.

Probably too late to matter for this dorf, but all the glass moods I've seen wanted raw glass as the first component. It's super cheap to buy from traders and you could probably even bring a few on embark. The game counts it as a gem for storage purposes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PlumpHelmetMan on September 29, 2017, 01:45:54 pm
Picked the wrong moment to test a lever I'd just connected to a retracting stone bridge, led to a fisherdwarf almost drowning XD.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on September 29, 2017, 05:02:41 pm
Quote from: PlumpHelmetMan on September 29, 2017, 01:45:54 pm
Picked the wrong moment to test a lever I'd just connected to a retracting stone bridge, led to a fisherdwarf almost drowning XD.

Reminds me of an incident I had where a wrong lever pull resulted in almost everyone drowning. In magma.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PlumpHelmetMan on September 29, 2017, 05:51:19 pm
In what possible way is that a WRONG lever pull? Sounds pretty right to me.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on September 30, 2017, 01:41:07 am
Well, they should be burning, for starters. If any were vampires, you'd run the trouble of annoying retrieval operation.

Also, sudden random gameover screen isn't generally fun to watch.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: PlumpHelmetMan on September 30, 2017, 10:19:47 pm
Well he did say ALMOST everyone, so as long as at least someone survived there shouldn't have been a gameover screen AFAIK.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: csparrow on September 30, 2017, 10:54:47 pm
I improperly constructed my magma forge,  and I didn't discover this until my legendary armor and weapon smiths as well as 3 other dwarves were unfortunately... Incinerated.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on October 01, 2017, 02:10:48 am
"Oh no, the magma's overflowing... Hey, I'll just use this guy sitting in the tavern to dig a channel down to drain it!" The dwarves have discovered a cavern deep underground.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: wertyzerty on October 02, 2017, 01:00:36 pm
Ok. First time drilling through an aquifer, decide to have two pumps running. End up kind of overfilling the aquifer, (i don't know how I did that too.), anyway, half of the first floor is flooded. Restart the fort, because the mud on the floor was pissing me off. Second try with one pump: some idiot decides to try to SLEEP in the hole that the pump is sucking from... IDK how he survived.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on October 02, 2017, 08:18:48 pm
Quote from: StagnantSoul on October 01, 2017, 02:10:48 am
"Oh no, the magma's overflowing... Hey, I'll just use this guy sitting in the tavern to dig a channel down to drain it!" The dwarves have discovered a cavern deep underground.
Oh wow. Did that just drain magma into the caves?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: spazyak on October 07, 2017, 07:57:19 pm
I forgot the lever that opened clown breeding program to the outside world and the one that closed my gate for a siege, thankfully the goblins kept them busy for the most part, still lost 20 dwarves dropping my popilation to 100 and migrants seem to have stopped coming as my dead dwarves have jumped to over 300 now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TubaDragoness on October 09, 2017, 04:57:51 am
(https://i.imgur.com/lSGALLr.png)

My mayor has a thing for amulets and frequently forbids their export after a load has been dumped on the trade caravan, but before they leave the map. This tends to result in a lot of dwarves (who have nothing to do with the crafting industry nor trade) doing jail time. First time I've seen the mayor sentence the Captain of the Guard though.

The real facepalm here is I appointed a deputy so the CoG could be arrested, hoping for a hilarious cancel message, but he finished his current arrest mere moments before the deputy got to him and decided to eat instead of making another.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pearofclubs on October 10, 2017, 02:31:46 pm
So one time I set up a lovely little training arena for my militia, designed expressly to toughen them up. Diagonal ledges over soft sand floors, so they Dodge and fall in their armor. Hooked up to a, um... Mandatory swimming pool, so they have to learn to swim, and also build some muscle? The entryway was sealed by a raising bridge.

Everything was all set up and ready to go. I checked to see that they were all inside and gave the order to throw the lever and seal off and flood the place. Right before the lever was thrown, my militia captain decided it would be a great time to duck out and eat, and of course the timing was just right to get himself smashed into nothingness by the bridge. I literally smacked my forehead. He was wearing my best armor and was the most trained dorf in the fort...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eschar on October 11, 2017, 04:41:12 pm
Quote from: spazyak on October 07, 2017, 07:57:19 pm
I forgot the lever that opened clown breeding program to the outside world and the one that closed my gate for a siege, thankfully the goblins kept them busy for the most part, still lost 20 dwarves dropping my popilation to 100 and migrants seem to have stopped coming as my dead dwarves have jumped to over 300 now.
I very much wish to be enlightened concerning this "clown breeding program." I wasn't aware anyone had even tried that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bloop_bleep on October 11, 2017, 06:35:25 pm
Quote from: Eschar on October 11, 2017, 04:41:12 pm
Quote from: spazyak on October 07, 2017, 07:57:19 pm
I forgot the lever that opened clown breeding program to the outside world and the one that closed my gate for a siege, thankfully the goblins kept them busy for the most part, still lost 20 dwarves dropping my popilation to 100 and migrants seem to have stopped coming as my dead dwarves have jumped to over 300 now.
I very much wish to be enlightened concerning this "clown breeding program." I wasn't aware anyone had even tried that.
Just lock them in a room and let them multiply like rabbits. Happens a lot unintentionally when one walls off the HFS.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TalonisWolf on October 11, 2017, 10:37:41 pm
(https://www.minecraftskinstealer.com/achievement/a.php?i=38&h=%21%21FUN%21%21&t=Fort+died+to+Magma) (https://www.minecraftskinstealer.com/achievement/)
A rather standard facepalm, but I thought I knew better!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pearofclubs on October 12, 2017, 07:00:07 am
Quote from: spazyak on October 07, 2017, 07:57:19 pm
I forgot the lever that opened clown breeding program to the outside world and the one that closed my gate for a siege, thankfully the goblins kept them busy for the most part, still lost 20 dwarves dropping my popilation to 100 and migrants seem to have stopped coming as my dead dwarves have jumped to over 300 now.

For a moment there I actually forgot what clown meant. My mental image was fairly comical.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pikachu17 on October 12, 2017, 05:54:04 pm
Yeah, that kind of forgetting what it means happens to clowns a lot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pearofclubs on October 13, 2017, 09:08:07 am
Quote from: pikachu17 on October 12, 2017, 05:54:04 pm
Yeah, that kind of forgetting what it means happens to clowns a lot.
Hey! Lol.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eschar on October 13, 2017, 05:53:45 pm
Quote from: bloop_bleep on October 11, 2017, 06:35:25 pm
Quote from: Eschar on October 11, 2017, 04:41:12 pm
Quote from: spazyak on October 07, 2017, 07:57:19 pm
I forgot the lever that opened clown breeding program to the outside world and the one that closed my gate for a siege, thankfully the goblins kept them busy for the most part, still lost 20 dwarves dropping my popilation to 100 and migrants seem to have stopped coming as my dead dwarves have jumped to over 300 now.
I very much wish to be enlightened concerning this "clown breeding program." I wasn't aware anyone had even tried that.
Just lock them in a room and let them multiply like rabbits. Happens a lot unintentionally when one walls off the HFS.
Do they breed like normal livestock, or just appear?
What useful interesting things do you do with them?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: spazyak on October 13, 2017, 08:31:22 pm
Quote from: Eschar on October 13, 2017, 05:53:45 pm
Quote from: bloop_bleep on October 11, 2017, 06:35:25 pm
Quote from: Eschar on October 11, 2017, 04:41:12 pm
Quote from: spazyak on October 07, 2017, 07:57:19 pm
I forgot the lever that opened clown breeding program to the outside world and the one that closed my gate for a siege, thankfully the goblins kept them busy for the most part, still lost 20 dwarves dropping my popilation to 100 and migrants seem to have stopped coming as my dead dwarves have jumped to over 300 now.
I very much wish to be enlightened concerning this "clown breeding program." I wasn't aware anyone had even tried that.
Just lock them in a room and let them multiply like rabbits. Happens a lot unintentionally when one walls off the HFS.
Do they breed like normal livestock, or just appear?
What useful interesting things do you do with them?
got a bunch of wormy clowns I use cave spiders to trap and archers and an adamantine masterwork trap to kill, I have it made into a searies of rooms connected together with refillable bait in the center. They produce leather and meats that feed my dwarves.
They also spit fire which is why I built a tower near the enterance of my fort with fortifications covered by bridges I can lower in case of a seige.
There was also the "fuck the world" release gate to the surface connected to a lever that released all the trapped clowns.

Many cats have been sacrifice in producing this, their meat lay unclaimed and forgotten never to be used in a muffin.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on October 13, 2017, 08:39:15 pm
Huh. It occurs to me now that I've never had meat-filled muffin. Interesting idea!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MCreeper on October 19, 2017, 04:46:39 am
    Trying to pull werebadger adventurer in a fortress. I placed fortress just outside the town adventurer lives in. Digged hole in the ground with 7 starter dwarves, retired. Unretired adventurer, settled. Why "reclaim fortress"!?
    Ok, backup save, Played a lsome more, retire, unretire. There are tons of people in the forttress. But where the "nobles"?
Here they are
(https://i.imgur.com/skhaCOI.jpg)
i killed their "overlord" and settled in. Now it allow me to unretire the fortress. When i do this, it turns out that there are only 5 dwarf cityzens left, and there are 77 damned visitors.
    Backup. Played a little more, get some dwarves, killed some dwarves. Get 33 dwarves and 29 long-time residentws which i'm pretty sure i didn't accepted. Unretired adventurer, payed a visit to previously converted lord.
(https://i.imgur.com/CSmkcvr.jpg)
He is perfectly healthy, but it probably still makes some sense. Why after 2-3 years, though?
Get to fortress. there are same set of managers in the tent, but they are a lot more people around, including actual sherrif and militia captain (Likot Arrowrope. Thief?  ;D).  I killed sleepers in a tent, horrified to  ! macedwarf that peeked in to see what's going on, and threw they corpses around. Then talked to captain, and she happily accepted me after i telled her about murders in a tent. All right, but why the hell all that people are outside fortress territory?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Unritired fort. There are 4 dwarfs, 5 childs, and 5 residents, with 100+ visitors. Why you filthy fucks don't stay in the fortress?! Is it even possible to make them all stay in it?

Also, game continues to amuse me with new strings of dialogue.
(https://i.imgur.com/tS6Gnqj.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/F3evcGX.jpg)
Oh, and this bastard. He managed to get out of water AND drown at the same time
(https://i.imgur.com/dUYoUMx.jpg)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derpy Dev on October 19, 2017, 08:28:21 pm
Quote from: MCreeper on October 19, 2017, 04:46:39 am
Oh, and this bastard. He managed to get out of water AND drown at the same time.

I guess his lungs might have been filled with water, so even if he wasn't submerged he still couldn't breath?

Or it's just a glitch, maybe caused by the game checking to see if you've drowned before checking to see if you're underwater.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bloop_bleep on October 19, 2017, 08:48:13 pm
Quote from: Derpy Dev on October 19, 2017, 08:28:21 pm
Quote from: MCreeper on October 19, 2017, 04:46:39 am
Oh, and this bastard. He managed to get out of water AND drown at the same time.

I guess his lungs might have been filled with water, so even if he wasn't submerged he still couldn't breath?

Or it's just a glitch, maybe caused by the game checking to see if you've drowned before checking to see if you're underwater.

IIRC, when a creature gets out of the water, they're still classified as drowning for the next tick (or couple of ticks, I don't know.) Have seen it with my adventurers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derro on October 20, 2017, 03:48:20 am
A mistake I keep making: just because you have one unanimated corpse doesn't mean the biome isn't reanimating. If it's mangled the biome may still be.

So yeah, I made a wrong assumption and got everybody killed by an undead troll.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: FantasticDorf on October 21, 2017, 05:10:48 am
Quote from: bloop_bleep on October 19, 2017, 08:48:13 pm
Quote from: Derpy Dev on October 19, 2017, 08:28:21 pm
Quote from: MCreeper on October 19, 2017, 04:46:39 am
Oh, and this bastard. He managed to get out of water AND drown at the same time.

I guess his lungs might have been filled with water, so even if he wasn't submerged he still couldn't breath?

Or it's just a glitch, maybe caused by the game checking to see if you've drowned before checking to see if you're underwater.

IIRC, when a creature gets out of the water, they're still classified as drowning for the next tick (or couple of ticks, I don't know.) Have seen it with my adventurers.

Im not even sure, i think its just poor computing of the health states. I've heard choking on your own vomit but really that could be put down to the same thing of what should be a minor asphyxiation event being drawn out of a long while.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: vekar on October 23, 2017, 01:39:51 pm
Had a dwarf (old version of DF) stand sobbing while a giant cave bat attacked him, refused to drop the boulder he was carrying and use his pickaxe, just stood there sobbing till death... Then the hand reanimated, attacked, was defeated then the body reanimated because the dwarves REFUSED to move the corpse for any reason. Fortress died. Then again, with a gene pool that shallow good riddance to them, they are not dwarfy enough. DF is one hell of a "natural selection" game.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Moonstone_Flower on October 27, 2017, 10:38:01 pm
The jeweler is also a gelder.

I think you're taking that euphemism a bit too literally, Thikut.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rabbot32 on November 01, 2017, 04:15:51 pm
In order of most-recent to least-recent:
Watching my Dwarfs take "capture live animal" as "chase a hamster around and spam me with cancel messages because it gnawed out of the trap".
Forgetting to set up proper food lines.
Forgetting to pack an anvil.
Not understanding how ramps work, leading one miner to almost starve to death hunting a non-existent mouse at the bottom of a mineshaft.
Starting in an aquifer and playing hell trying to get stone.
Accidentally starting in an Evil biome and watching my dwarves death to drown in blood.
Watching a dwarf thirst to death because I didn't know how to make buckets.
And, of course, starting a fort without knowing any of the controls. Only started playing two days ago.

Are we having Fun yet?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on November 01, 2017, 04:25:48 pm
Almost all of that was inevitable.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: ManicSin on November 02, 2017, 10:46:12 pm
So it was the first fort I was proud of, must have been years ago, was like my third fort or something, It had everything a dwarf could need. I even trained a good 16 dwarves for the first goblin invasion.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I had a huge blockade, and a maze of traps waiting for the invaders, each bit of fort had a closed gate, forcing the invader into my hot-gates where their numbers would count for nothing.   

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Only to be foiled by the goblin malice as they flanked my fortifications and slaughtered my innocent workers as my warriors got cut down, some warriors broke ranks and tried to save their loved ones only to  get a overwhelmed by the hoard of green men. The last few who held ranks fortified the blockade and waited the goblins out.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: zenkai on November 02, 2017, 11:04:08 pm
Quote from: Moonstone_Flower on October 27, 2017, 10:38:01 pm
The jeweler is also a gelder.

I think you're taking that euphemism a bit too literally, Thikut.

Just need you to know I keep randomly thinking back to this post and laughing. It's been days.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Runaway_char on November 03, 2017, 08:34:29 am
My woodcutter got severely injured, a "spinning wood log" smashed his leg into unrecognizable gore while he was cutting down trees.  I didn't even think that was possible.  Had to hastily set up a hospital, but with it being winter, we had no water to clean his wounds with.  He's up and running again, but has an infection.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eschar on November 03, 2017, 09:31:54 pm
My miners' pathing ended up creating a near-silhouette of a man face-palming. I stopped the mining project so I could keep the image (https://imgur.com/a/pzmmv).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Derro on November 04, 2017, 05:09:27 am
Quote from: Eschar on November 03, 2017, 09:31:54 pm
My miners' pathing ended up creating a near-silhouette of a man face-palming. I stopped the mining project so I could keep the image.

Picture, please?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eschar on November 04, 2017, 08:58:02 am
Unfortunately, I don't have an account on any 3rd-party image-hosting services at the moment.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on November 04, 2017, 03:46:56 pm
Quote from: Runaway_char on November 03, 2017, 08:34:29 am
My woodcutter got severely injured, a "spinning wood log" smashed his leg into unrecognizable gore while he was cutting down trees.  I didn't even think that was possible.  Had to hastily set up a hospital, but with it being winter, we had no water to clean his wounds with.  He's up and running again, but has an infection.

:) that's a standard problem... as far as I understand it, this comes from woodcutters cutting down trees, the branches of which fall onto other trees -- often growing a level down. Then, when your lumberjack (who is ok, as we all know, wearing women's clothing etc.) cuts down this mighty scot's pine (or whatever) the wood that has accumulated on the branches falls down and hurts him (or her, or... yeah, whatever --- when teaching I tell my students that to my mind "students have no sex", i.e. any gendered form I use applies to all unless I explicitly stress the gender, and usually this is met with quite some giggles ;p )

FP: digging through a four or six(?) level aquifer... multiple face palms, many Dorfs lost. I did recover the corpses by punching through all levels and flooding a cavern level, yes, that was another FP, especially with the FPS problems I had... I don't think I have ever used this many grates...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on November 04, 2017, 07:37:44 pm
Quote from: Eschar on November 04, 2017, 08:58:02 am
Unfortunately, I don't have an account on any 3rd-party image-hosting services at the moment.
Imgur is pretty good.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on November 04, 2017, 07:39:52 pm
Quote from: Eschar on November 04, 2017, 08:58:02 am
Unfortunately, I don't have an account on any 3rd-party image-hosting services at the moment.
Got ninja'd by Flame, but don't need one on imgur. I script things to make uploading not require a web browser, either (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=167471.msg7566537#msg7566537).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eschar on November 04, 2017, 09:16:10 pm
Ok, image here. (https://imgur.com/a/pzmmv)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on November 05, 2017, 12:16:57 am
Heh. Yeah, I can see that. I bet they'd be mighty happy to live in it, too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Moonstone_Flower on November 11, 2017, 09:42:39 pm
Facepalm moment...  Not from in-game, but still related.  Hopefully this counts - a specific post from this thread was linked in IRC.
Quote from: IRC
<Leaf> >Almost all of that was inevitable.
<mouse> DF quotes have become memetically contagious.
<Leaf> ...it was inevitable.
<ball> The world is the same as ever.
<Leaf> It is terrifying.

Quote from: gunpowdertea on November 04, 2017, 03:46:56 pm
[...] (or her, or... yeah, whatever --- when teaching I tell my students that to my mind "students have no sex", i.e. any gendered form I use applies to all unless I explicitly stress the gender, and usually this is met with quite some giggles ;p )
[...]

That's the reason that we have the words "they"/"them"/"their" in English.  Those are neutral pronouns.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on November 12, 2017, 02:14:35 am
Quote from: Moonstone_Flower on November 11, 2017, 09:42:39 pm
Facepalm moment...  Not from in-game, but still related.  Hopefully this counts - a specific post from this thread was linked in IRC.
Quote from: IRC
<Leaf> >Almost all of that was inevitable.
<mouse> DF quotes have become memetically contagious.
<Leaf> ...it was inevitable.
<ball> The world is the same as ever.
<Leaf> It is terrifying.

Quote from: gunpowdertea on November 04, 2017, 03:46:56 pm
[...] (or her, or... yeah, whatever --- when teaching I tell my students that to my mind "students have no sex", i.e. any gendered form I use applies to all unless I explicitly stress the gender, and usually this is met with quite some giggles ;p )
[...]

That's the reason that we have the words "they"/"them"/"their" in English.  Those are neutral pronouns.

They are neuter plural pronouns.  The neuter singular pronoun is "it", which people take umbridge to being called.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Moonstone_Flower on November 12, 2017, 12:20:44 pm
Quote from: Rockphed on November 12, 2017, 02:14:35 am
Quote from: Moonstone_Flower on November 11, 2017, 09:42:39 pm
[...]
Quote from: gunpowdertea on November 04, 2017, 03:46:56 pm
[...] (or her, or... yeah, whatever --- when teaching I tell my students that to my mind "students have no sex", i.e. any gendered form I use applies to all unless I explicitly stress the gender, and usually this is met with quite some giggles ;p )
[...]

That's the reason that we have the words "they"/"them"/"their" in English.  Those are neutral pronouns.

They are neuter plural pronouns.  The neuter singular pronoun is "it", which people take umbridge to being called.

*facepalm*

"They" is also a valid singular pronoun, as I was saying.  "Them" and "their" are valid for use with a single person, as well.  This is true in both British and American English, and has been for a long time.

To say this another way:  They are valid for both plural and singular use in both BrE and AmE.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Runaway_char on November 13, 2017, 04:34:17 pm
Its interesting, because our language is evolving that way - English lacked a singular they, so people took to using they/them/their in a singular way.  We can actually see this happen in our lifetime, as linguists are updating the rules to reflect the consensus
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on November 15, 2017, 03:09:50 am
Quote from: Runaway_char on November 13, 2017, 04:34:17 pm
It's interesting, because our language is evolving that way - English lacked a singular they, so people took to using they/them/their in a singular way.  We can actually see this happen in our lifetime, as linguists are updating the rules to reflect the consensus

Yes, language changes, which is sort of cool (and useful, especially in this case) - though in some cases I would rather have it stay the way I learned it ;) (and out of curiosity, how long has this use of the personal pronoun of 3rd p. pl. for 3rd. p. sg. been allowed in English (any form)? Not a native speaker etc.)

The Swedish actually invented a new pronoun ("hen") that means "this is a person, not a thing, of unknown gender - and it is not important in this context anyway". Sadly, other languages (that I actually speak) lack this... plus professions are generally in the male form in (I guess most) Germanic languages[1], with some exceptions (like "midwife"[2]). This leads to extremely cluttered texts in German, when you have to inlcude both masculinum and feminum forms of professions (like Student/Studentin, or StudentIn or Student/In or Student*in or whatever construct) in official texts, and this is absolutely ridiculous in speech. Jumping randomly between both forms sounds fun but is annoying after a while (I tried it). I settled on using the female form only, at least for a while, because in general we had more female than male students (this also felt weird, I mean the language not the students). Anyway, I should stop complaining now. (am I getting old? probably).

Meh, let's go back on topic...

*facepalm*: I seemed to recall that an aquifer stops leaking when you smooth the walls. Apparently not... to avoid the aquarium in the first fort I played in the newest version I had to resort to dfhack liquids (created an obsidian wall to block it). Has this changed in recent (well...) versions?
And then my exploratory dig went through the roof of  a spire, I was not paying attention.


[1] in Norwegian it is the "utrum", which is both feminum and masculinum, though there is an explicit femininum, except in some of the dialects. Actually the "utrum" is more like masculinum, to be honest. Still, it is considered correct to use it for both sexes, in Swedish as well.

[2] yes, there is (e.g. in German) a general form, which by its grammatical genus is again masculinum, so you now have to include the male and female form in the texts as well - ARGH!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on November 17, 2017, 09:40:58 pm
Quote from: gunpowdertea on November 15, 2017, 03:09:50 am
(and out of curiosity, how long has this use of the personal pronoun of 3rd p. pl. for 3rd. p. sg. been allowed in English (any form)? Not a native speaker etc.)
If it was used to refer to royalty (see:royal "we" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_we)), then maybe a long time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on November 19, 2017, 04:41:52 am
Quote from: Bumber on November 17, 2017, 09:40:58 pm
Quote from: gunpowdertea on November 15, 2017, 03:09:50 am
(and out of curiosity, how long has this use of the personal pronoun of 3rd p. pl. for 3rd. p. sg. been allowed in English (any form)? Not a native speaker etc.)
If it was used to refer to royalty (see:royal "we" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_we)), then maybe a long time.

thanks! (and sorry for derailing the thread...  :-X )

Anybody has ideas about the wall smoothing / aquifers? Was it just a glitch?

And the *fp*s are coming along nicely... "new" version, new features - and having been away from the game for about a year (or maybe two?).

1) I sort of forgot how deadly dangerous magma crabs are. Now The stockpile with the refined coal is on fire. I could open the aquifer (I keep embarking on those... on purpose) and drown the fort or wall my current access to the magma sea close (or both). I lost the mother to the first baby born in the fort :( and she wasn't even in the military.

Yes: I used to drain / pump magma into a separate chamber under the forges - now that you mention it ;) At least the remains are no longer melting hot...

2) I need to edit the init file again... I missed (or messed up?) the "bury pets" option. Now I have a bunch of (ok, three, but still!) masterworked coffins containing blue peackock remains that were killed by the seasonal rhesus macaque infestation. I need to get some guard lions or at least dogs. Or maybe magma crabs - but that's waiting for the next *FP* ;) (I think I should do that!) - !!FUN!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bloop_bleep on November 19, 2017, 12:31:02 pm
Quote from: gunpowdertea on November 19, 2017, 04:41:52 am
And the *fp*s are coming along nicely... "new" version, new features - and having been away from the game for about a year (or maybe two?).

1) I sort of forgot how deadly dangerous magma crabs are. Now The stockpile with the refined coal is on fire. I could open the aquifer (I keep embarking on those... on purpose) and drown the fort or wall my current access to the magma sea close (or both). I lost the mother to the first baby born in the fort :( and she wasn't even in the military.

Yes: I used to drain / pump magma into a separate chamber under the forges - now that you mention it ;) At least the remains are no longer melting hot...

2) I need to edit the init file again... I missed (or messed up?) the "bury pets" option. Now I have a bunch of (ok, three, but still!) masterworked coffins containing blue peackock remains that were killed by the seasonal rhesus macaque infestation. I need to get some guard lions or at least dogs. Or maybe magma crabs - but that's waiting for the next *FP* ;) (I think I should do that!) - !!FUN!!

If you use magma crabs, you should build a paved road in front of the entrance, otherwise when the magma crabs shoot magma it might set fire to the entire surface.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: andrian on November 19, 2017, 07:13:13 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

IT HAPPENED AGAIN!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eschar on November 20, 2017, 01:40:29 pm
Quote from: andrian on November 19, 2017, 07:13:13 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

IT HAPPENED AGAIN!

... "giving and kindness"?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: wertyzerty on November 20, 2017, 02:22:25 pm
I think "Give over your weapons foolish mortals" more than let's all share plump helmets and that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Powersteve621 on November 20, 2017, 07:33:46 pm
In my current fort I'm having anvil troubles. I've got my embark one but I'm yet to find any iron and I'm also having caravan issues so no trading for the past year and a half. So imagine my glee when a possessed metalsmith comes up with an awesome gem-encrusted lead anvil! Even if it's not magma-safe, I can still use it to build a conventional forge.

Or... not as it turns out, because not only is lead not magma-safe, its not even FIRE safe. I can't do anything with it, bloody thing might as well be made out of chocolate. I suppose I can at least drop it on somebody like dwarven looney toons, but I'm tempted for that somebody to be they guy who made it. I mean hey it was a possession so it's not like he's legendary now or anything.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on November 20, 2017, 07:53:29 pm
Kindly give me your brain matter, please and thank you.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Powersteve621 on November 21, 2017, 01:57:55 am
edit:  posted a message in wrong thread woops
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: andrian on November 21, 2017, 08:20:13 pm
Yeah, that's the second time I've had to deal with a titan with an aura of giving and kindness. I kindly gave it many crossbow bolts from behind my fortifications.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mathel on November 23, 2017, 01:59:07 pm
Quote from: Powersteve621 on November 20, 2017, 07:33:46 pm
In my current fort I'm having anvil troubles. I've got my embark one but I'm yet to find any iron and I'm also having caravan issues so no trading for the past year and a half. So imagine my glee when a possessed metalsmith comes up with an awesome gem-encrusted lead anvil! Even if it's not magma-safe, I can still use it to build a conventional forge.

Or... not as it turns out, because not only is lead not magma-safe, its not even FIRE safe. I can't do anything with it, bloody thing might as well be made out of chocolate. I suppose I can at least drop it on somebody like dwarven looney toons, but I'm tempted for that somebody to be they guy who made it. I mean hey it was a possession so it's not like he's legendary now or anything.

Put the anvil on a trapdoor (floor hatch/grate) above a pressure plate that opens it. Lead is heavy, so it will do a lot of damage. But it will have to be hauled up after use.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MnemonicMorg on November 25, 2017, 05:42:56 am
I noticed one of my cooks hunting for small animals the other day- and upon checking the medical screen he seemed so dedicated to this that he was starving and dying of dehydration. I'm fairly new and so came up with my own rationale for this. Since this was the chef and he was in the "kitchen" area of the fort, I assumed this was the case of the ALL TOO FAMILIAR case of chefs going berserk looking for mice, rats, and other small animal vermin. But I also had around 5 cats at the time, all ignoring the kitchen, so the chef must have been less berserk and more loco in the coco.

The face palm moment came when I noticed I just built a soap makers workshop in front of the door leading out. It must've been obvious to everyone BUT ME that he was trapped in there for a long while.

The other facepalm moment came way after when a dorf died because I didn't quite (and still probably don't) understand how channeling down works, making him dig himself deep inside a death hole, refuse to go out, and die during making stairs upwards
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: andrian on November 25, 2017, 03:32:15 pm
Well... I've been playing around with the new version and just made a horrifying discovery: artifacts can now be traded.

While I would normally be ecstatic about the possibility of getting rid of the more useless artifacts, with the addition of display pedestals, some of these artifacts are less useless than they were before. I'm going to see if I can manage to buy back the three artifacts I accidentally traded away, but it's a bit of a long shot....

I guess I'll have to forbid artifacts before designating my trading goods from now on...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bloop_bleep on November 25, 2017, 05:06:56 pm
Quote from: MnemonicMorg on November 25, 2017, 05:42:56 am
I noticed one of my cooks hunting for small animals the other day- and upon checking the medical screen he seemed so dedicated to this that he was starving and dying of dehydration. I'm fairly new and so came up with my own rationale for this. Since this was the chef and he was in the "kitchen" area of the fort, I assumed this was the case of the ALL TOO FAMILIAR case of chefs going berserk looking for mice, rats, and other small animal vermin. But I also had around 5 cats at the time, all ignoring the kitchen, so the chef must have been less berserk and more loco in the coco.

The face palm moment came when I noticed I just built a soap makers workshop in front of the door leading out. It must've been obvious to everyone BUT ME that he was trapped in there for a long while.

The other facepalm moment came way after when a dorf died because I didn't quite (and still probably don't) understand how channeling down works, making him dig himself deep inside a death hole, refuse to go out, and die during making stairs upwards

A dwarf will start hunting for small animals to stave off starvation, not to get something to cook. If you see somebody with that job listed, it means that they are probably stuck.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dozebm Lolumzals on November 25, 2017, 09:41:01 pm
Quote from: andrian on November 25, 2017, 03:32:15 pm
Well... I've been playing around with the new version and just made a horrifying discovery: artifacts can now be traded.

While I would normally be ecstatic about the possibility of getting rid of the more useless artifacts, with the addition of display pedestals, some of these artifacts are less useless than they were before. I'm going to see if I can manage to buy back the three artifacts I accidentally traded away, but it's a bit of a long shot....

I guess I'll have to forbid artifacts before designating my trading goods from now on...
Send a squad to grab them back!

(Trade them again and again! ??? Profit!)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on November 26, 2017, 06:44:44 am
Quote from: Runaway_char on November 13, 2017, 04:34:17 pm
Its interesting, because our language is evolving that way - English lacked a singular they, so people took to using they/them/their in a singular way.  We can actually see this happen in our lifetime, as linguists are updating the rules to reflect the consensus
no, there is "it". but noone wants to use it/it/its and instead they use they/them/their.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on November 26, 2017, 07:28:18 am
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on November 26, 2017, 06:44:44 am
Quote from: Runaway_char on November 13, 2017, 04:34:17 pm
Its interesting, because our language is evolving that way - English lacked a singular they, so people took to using they/them/their in a singular way.  We can actually see this happen in our lifetime, as linguists are updating the rules to reflect the consensus
no, there is "it". but noone wants to use it/it/its and instead they use they/them/their.

It signifies an item, not a person.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: billybobfred on November 26, 2017, 10:36:21 am
Singular "they" has been accepted since at least Shakespeare's time, and it's weird that we're having a debate about it.

Here's a real debate topic for you: Is the reflexive form of singular they "themselves" or "themself"?


Anyway I came here to declare that I spent half a year yelling at Urist McWoodcutter for not chopping wood before realizing that I had no metal axes because the lazy embark profile I downloaded hasn't been updated since they fixed the bug that let training axes work for lumberjacking. Oops.

I tried to forge one, but the lazy embark profile also didn't come with an anvil. Oops x2 combo.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mathel on November 26, 2017, 10:39:58 am
Does the lazy profile at least come with refined coal? If not, you would need wood to make it. For which you would need an axe.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: billybobfred on November 26, 2017, 10:42:52 am
Nope, just a few boulders of raw coal.

Lucky for me the dwarven caravan showed up and brought both axe and anvil.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on November 27, 2017, 02:32:11 pm
Oh wow, you probably just saved me a lot of grief with the artifact trading.

Thanks for the heads up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: wertyzerty on November 27, 2017, 02:48:07 pm
Quote from: billybobfred on November 26, 2017, 10:36:21 am
Here's a real debate topic for you: Is the reflexive form of singular they "themselves" or "themself"?

IDK about everyone else, but if I was forced to choose I'd go with themselves, but this article if found (http://canada.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/csj-sjc/legis-redact/legistics/p1p30.html) is interesting if you want to read more.

TLDR(the article): It's making a comeback and was used in Shakespearean times but they recommend to avoid themself or avoid that particular construction if possible.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Slax on November 28, 2017, 05:35:37 am
Damn it, dog.
(https://i.imgur.com/FBWX2vc.png)
Don't be a snitch.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on November 28, 2017, 06:24:08 am
Pulled the wrong gate lever when trying to open a better path for the wagons of the caravan... Instead I closed the drawbridge the smaller packers were on, sending a pair of yacks and humans flying into the air...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Miudo on December 01, 2017, 02:43:55 pm
(https://i.imgur.com/eAZi9kr.png)

How can it fly with that thingie...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mathel on December 01, 2017, 04:50:04 pm
Damn those Keas stealing wheelbarrows!

That was for me a cause of many lost wheelbarrows, when I was building a castle.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on December 01, 2017, 09:29:37 pm
Not sure where to put this. I was digging though legends and found a goblin couple who had 12 sons and no daughters. That's a 1/4096 chance!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bloop_bleep on December 02, 2017, 01:14:50 am
Quote from: TheFlame52 on December 01, 2017, 09:29:37 pm
Not sure where to put this. I was digging though legends and found a goblin couple who had 12 sons and no daughters. That's a 1/4096 chance!
Given how many thousands of histfigs are created each worldgen, it's actually not that unlikely that someone cane along a couple like that. Or maybe the random number generator derped somehow.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on December 02, 2017, 09:54:40 am
That's true, but I don't look through every figure in a world. I only noticed this because the father killed 7 people in one battle.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: billybobfred on December 03, 2017, 06:39:16 pm
Quote
If you are unable to designate a tree to be cut down, check the higher levels. If an upper level of the tree is already designated for cutting, the "Ground-Floor" trunk will not also be designated, and the tree will not be cut down.

This behavior seems extremely suboptimal... but it explains why my woodcutters have been sitting around with their beards up their%%END OF POST%%
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: jmb86 on December 03, 2017, 10:41:00 pm
my first few attempts at creating a military I was individually applying the uniforms. one piece of armor at a time. changing the material of each item one at a time. FOR EACH DWARF. finally i learned that i can just change the uniform and apply it to the entire squad.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eschar on December 04, 2017, 10:49:20 pm
((On an unrelated note, I think it's amusing that we've stickied "Face-Palm moments you've had" but not "What's going on in your fortress?". Eh, given the glorious complexity of DF, they're probably the same.))
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: gunpowdertea on December 12, 2017, 03:43:04 pm
Quote from: Eschar on December 04, 2017, 10:49:20 pm
((On an unrelated note, I think it's amusing that we've stickied "Face-Palm moments you've had" but not "What's going on in your fortress?". Eh, given the glorious complexity of DF, they're probably the same.))

.. and this one is more FUN ;-p

FP: I finally started to play around with the "new" version, which started to include temples and whatnot - and there is a new release about a month later.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pikachu17 on December 12, 2017, 04:46:56 pm
Quote from: gunpowdertea on December 12, 2017, 03:43:04 pm
Quote from: Eschar on December 04, 2017, 10:49:20 pm
((On an unrelated note, I think it's amusing that we've stickied "Face-Palm moments you've had" but not "What's going on in your fortress?". Eh, given the glorious complexity of DF, they're probably the same.))

.. and this one is more FUN ;-p

FP: I finally started to play around with the "new" version, which started to include temples and whatnot - and there is a new release about a month later.
Lucky for you. The rest of us had to wait a year.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eschar on December 12, 2017, 08:08:13 pm
Quote from: pikachu17 on December 12, 2017, 04:46:56 pm
Quote from: gunpowdertea on December 12, 2017, 03:43:04 pm
Quote from: Eschar on December 04, 2017, 10:49:20 pm
((On an unrelated note, I think it's amusing that we've stickied "Face-Palm moments you've had" but not "What's going on in your fortress?". Eh, given the glorious complexity of DF, they're probably the same.))

.. and this one is more FUN ;-p

FP: I finally started to play around with the "new" version, which started to include temples and whatnot - and there is a new release about a month later.
Lucky for you. The rest of us had to wait a year.

My first year of DF, in fact.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on December 14, 2017, 02:27:44 pm
Quote from: Eschar on December 12, 2017, 08:08:13 pm
Quote from: pikachu17 on December 12, 2017, 04:46:56 pm
Quote from: gunpowdertea on December 12, 2017, 03:43:04 pm
Quote from: Eschar on December 04, 2017, 10:49:20 pm
((On an unrelated note, I think it's amusing that we've stickied "Face-Palm moments you've had" but not "What's going on in your fortress?". Eh, given the glorious complexity of DF, they're probably the same.))

.. and this one is more FUN ;-p

FP: I finally started to play around with the "new" version, which started to include temples and whatnot - and there is a new release about a month later.
Lucky for you. The rest of us had to wait a year.

My first year of DF, in fact.
quite the same for me. i started shortly before 43 was released and it was great.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on December 15, 2017, 02:12:49 pm
Fought a snail with a deadly gas, gas didn't seem so deadly, we killed it pretty easily. Walking back to he fort, everyone dropped dead in near unison...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: scourge728 on December 16, 2017, 09:39:07 am
Quote from: StagnantSoul on December 15, 2017, 02:12:49 pm
Fought a snail with a deadly gas, gas didn't seem so deadly, we killed it pretty easily. Walking back to he fort, everyone dropped dead in near unison...
Maybe one day dwarves will make gas masks
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on December 16, 2017, 09:51:21 am
Quote from: scourge728 on December 16, 2017, 09:39:07 am
Quote from: StagnantSoul on December 15, 2017, 02:12:49 pm
Fought a snail with a deadly gas, gas didn't seem so deadly, we killed it pretty easily. Walking back to he fort, everyone dropped dead in near unison...
Maybe one day dwarves will make gas masks
could those be modded into the game? an item that makes the wearer temporary immune to any gas/miasma would be
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mathel on December 16, 2017, 02:41:34 pm
You could probably mod a material that causes a syndrome, which gives the [NOBREATHE] tag. Time for !!Science!!.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eschar on December 16, 2017, 02:44:02 pm
Quote from: Mathel on December 16, 2017, 02:41:34 pm
You could probably mod a material that causes a syndrome which gives the [NOBREATHE] tag. Time for !!Science!!.

But then they'd die of suffocation rather than gas, would they not?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: SOLDIER First on December 16, 2017, 03:03:36 pm
Giving them the nobreathe tag means they dont need to breathe, IIRC.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mathel on December 16, 2017, 05:28:54 pm
As I have read on the DF wiki that solid objects do not give symptoms (and later proven it with an Oxisilk Gambeson, which did not prevent drowning), I decided to make a material that vaporises upon creation, making everyone nearby become [NOBREATHE] for a day.

Either I failed at it, or I can not do reactions. Either way, here is the material (based on milk of lime).
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lazygun on December 18, 2017, 07:05:32 am
I just lost my entire military: 10 crossbow dwarves (some of them elite after 4 years of training) and 20 assorted hammer-, axe- and speardwarves.

I'm playing my first game in the new version, generated a pocket world and the dwarf civ was wiped out by a hydra in year 4 while the humans and elves have a couple of settlements of ~100 population each. Meanwhile the goblin capital is ~1000 and rumour has it they are well on the way to wiping out the rest.

I dealt with the first two goblin attacks easily. The third time they came in force. 30 gobbos and 30 beakdogs filling 2 screens of my 'units' list. Later on in the fight I noticed that increased to 3 screens, decreased to two screens and rose again to 3 screens. Yeah, I was completely unprepared for that.

The plan was to station my military at the far end of the entrance hall and raise and lower the newly-constructed raised entrance bridge so as to divide the attacking army into manageable parts. Instead my military charged out to engage the enemy. They did very well at first, killing gobbos and beakdogs and advancing against the incoming tide. But as they started to tire, even the best of them succumbed. As my stragglers entered the fight I realized I needed to Pull The Lever and strand my military on the wrong side of the drawbridge.

It looks like I won't see the human caravan this year. Just as well: instead of trade goods I'm frantically making coffins and slabs.

And another facepalm: I just noticed that due to failing to define a quantum stockpile, my sandbags have been traveling in a loop 99 z-levels each way from the general storage near the depot to a minecart next to the glass furnace and back again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Paralyzoid on December 19, 2017, 01:02:51 am
I was trying to install a bridge in front of my new archer fortification room and built the floor one square too far to the left. I decided "Screw removing it log by log; I'm just going to collapse the whole thing in."

I forgot cave-ins punch through ceillings. Now there's a hole through my secondary workshop room, main metalsmith room, old small tavern, and new large tavern. Oh, and the cook is dead.

Well then, time to try again!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eschar on December 24, 2017, 05:24:17 pm
I opened the first cavern recently while trying to dig a shaft to -112z, where I thought the first cavern was (I had been more than a bit careless with my road-dar.)

I took the wiki's suggestion of pitting a creature down there, and decided to build walls over a bit of the cavern edge, too, so quite a few dwarves were down there, plus the two miners I set to digging out stone near the construction site of the wall. As I smugly sat there admiring their progress, an announcement struck fear into the depths of my soul... well, maybe not that deep, but still frightening.

https://imgur.com/a/ZIWtM

It seems, though, that this was a pre-existing web, not one flung directly from the fear-inspiring maw of a GCS.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: dwarf_sadist on December 31, 2017, 03:50:34 pm
I had just finished by cistern project, all constructed floors and wall with a constructed stair access, well and hatch cover. Started pumping water into cistern to clean/desalinate it when Urist decides he needs to clean himself from syndrome blood, in the cistern.

Remember kids, lock your hatch covers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lazygun on January 03, 2018, 10:42:00 am
Dragon came. I ordered every civilian into the underground burrow. Dragon loitered at the map edge. I allowed civilians into the area enclosed by fortifications while forbidding everything else on the surface. Dragon started a forest fire. I rapidly fireproofed the entrance to my fort so the fire wouldn't propagate inside. Fire petered out after burning the northwest of the map: seems to have a bit of trouble crossing z-levels. I relaxed a bit, allowed civilians to collect logs and discarded clothing from near the fort. Elf monster hunter arrived, hit the dragon with a single willow bolt before melting. Similar for a couple of human visitors.

Unfortunately they lured the dragon away from the map edge where it picked up the scent of dwarfs, roasted a hauler and headed at breakneck speed towards my fort. I had actually hooked up my drawbridge to the lever now, but the dragon was *fast* and got inside, roasted a mechanic working on a cage trap, roasted all my war dogs, roasted my hastily-activated crossbow militia armed with training bolts, attacked my axedwarf squad who had been too busy "watching striking demonstration" to intervene earlier. Eventually one of them did lop its head off.

My losses: about three quarters of my military, my best metal armour and weapons turned into clouds of molten iron and steel, a few civilians, all my war dogs, all my grazing pets and wool-providing animals, and my main quantum stockpile of over 1000 logs. At least there's very little cleanup: just the chore of making sure every evaporated dwarf gets a memorial slab.

Sometime during this mess, the human caravan arrived and by now my drawbridge was closed so the caravans bypassed my site.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Staalo on January 05, 2018, 12:57:48 am
Took advantage of ocean freezing solid to do some extensive digging operations for my undersea fortress. Come spring, I notice the whole ocean draining into now exposed aquifer. Ow, my FPS.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TalonisWolf on January 05, 2018, 02:54:11 pm
Quote from: Staalo on January 05, 2018, 12:57:48 am
Took advantage of ocean freezing solid to do some extensive digging operations for my undersea fortress. Come spring, I notice the whole ocean draining into now exposed aquifer. Ow, my FPS.

Wait till it freezes next and seal off the exposed Aquifer? Might take awhile, but if you want to keep playing it may be worth it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Staalo on January 05, 2018, 09:02:14 pm
Quote from: TalonisWolf on January 05, 2018, 02:54:11 pm
Wait till it freezes next and seal off the exposed Aquifer? Might take awhile, but if you want to keep playing it may be worth it.

That's my current plan, whenever this game manages to ooze into next winter. Haven't had this low FPS since the Circus came to town last time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: daggaz on January 12, 2018, 10:38:37 am
Just finished my extensive surface-castle entrance to my fort proper, replete with entry courtyard of death, stables and protected pasture, courtyard proper, and a gatehouse all leading down into a labyrinthean defensive tunnel, where my trade depot, militia barracks, and main stairwell lie.  The coup-de-grace on the castle was filling the large moat with magma tapped straight from the precipitious volcanic peak that makes up the back wall of my castle.  I even had to reroute the river in order to make room for the moat, and now viscous molten rock flows side-by-side with a deep pool against the castle fundaments, in which the salmon can be seen spawning, seperated only by a thin wall of stone laid down in the river bed in the heart of winter. 

I was congratulating my dwarves on a job well done, when the elven caravan finished up their trade business (man are those guys poor) and went on their merry way. 

I watched in bemusement as one of the merchants seemed to get lost in my expansive courtyard.  Perchance he was just appreciating the magnificent architecture? The spritual way in which dwarven stone and industry were combined with nature, preserving several ponds with large, brooding trees on their banks, vigilant over the replete meadows left preserved within my walls?   Surely even an elf could find satisfaction in that kind of construction. 

But no.  He went back into the gatehouse... and up the steps to the first flight..  and out onto a seperation wall that cuts through the courtyards like a knife, sectioning off the kill-zone entry way from the idealic pastures.  There the elf tip-toed merrily with his horse and cart, along the top of that dizzying wall, all the way down its length, to the point were it adjoined with the outer wall...  And here he tripped merrily up onto the mountainside, and made his way home. 

A single, elven footstep, from the wilderness, directly into the heart of my home.  I realized in horror that the staircase he used to gain purchase on that wall was within the gatehouse.  Behind the first three of only four drawbridges seperating Urist McPotteryismylife from the goblin hordes.  The entire mountainside needed to be built up, in my haste to accomplish a beautiful and magnificent work of art, I had neglected the very seat of my home into which it was built.  It would take some time, and blocks! And I had just depleted my stockpiles finishing the construction!  Time was of the essence! I hurriedly checked my last censor report: 75 dwarves.  And with that, an announcement.

"Some immigrants have arrived."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Amorphage on January 12, 2018, 11:25:22 am
Generated a Smaller world where dwarves were nearly extinct. Decided to make a fort on a small island off the coast so my dwarves would have (less) problems asides from maybe some werebeast attacks until their population got to a reasonable enough level.
"This is a great idea!" I said, "What could go wrong?" I said.
...
Then I accidentally embarked directly on top of a night troll's lair because I forgot to check legends viewer.  :-X
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mathel on January 12, 2018, 12:06:48 pm
Quote from: Amorphage on January 12, 2018, 11:25:22 am
Generated a Smaller world where dwarves were nearly extinct. Decided to make a fort on a small island off the coast so my dwarves would have (less) problems asides from maybe some werebeast attacks until their population got to a reasonable enough level.
"This is a great idea!" I said, "What could go wrong?" I said.
...
Then I accidentally embarked directly on top of a night troll's lair because I forgot to check legends viewer.  :-X
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That's what you get for asking. The answer to "What could (possibly) go wrong?" is of course "!!EVERYTHING!!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: auzewasright on January 13, 2018, 02:24:50 pm
I wondered why my dwarves were so thirsty... and then realized I forgot to turn off a civilian alert.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on January 14, 2018, 05:41:53 am
Quote from: auzewasright on January 13, 2018, 02:24:50 pm
I wondered why my dwarves were so thirsty... and then realized I forgot to turn off a civilian alert.
it was only for the immense amount of "Urist McMck cancelled drinking/giving water. Water source not found." that i remembered that it was a cold embark and the river must 've frozen - they all died of dehydration just because of my bad planning :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weiserthanyou on January 15, 2018, 12:32:30 am
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on January 14, 2018, 05:41:53 am
Quote from: auzewasright on January 13, 2018, 02:24:50 pm
I wondered why my dwarves were so thirsty... and then realized I forgot to turn off a civilian alert.
it was only for the immense amount of "Urist McMck cancelled drinking/giving water. Water source not found." that i remembered that it was a cold embark and the river must 've frozen - they all died of dehydration just because of my bad planning :(
Happened during my first winter of my current fort. Amazingly, not a single dwarf died of dehydration, though three miners in a row managed to drown when they also managed to flood my basement during farm prep (THE RIVER WAS FROZEN AT THE TIME). HOW DO YOU EVEN CHANNEL A PIT AND DROWN IN IT WHEN THERE ARE NO ORDERS TO CHANNEL AND THE RIVER IS FROZEN?!?! (yeah idk how the dorfs couldn't access the flooded basement for water, even after three of them died in it)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Novaris on January 15, 2018, 05:09:32 am
Quote from: Staalo on January 05, 2018, 09:02:14 pm
Quote from: TalonisWolf on January 05, 2018, 02:54:11 pm
Wait till it freezes next and seal off the exposed Aquifer? Might take awhile, but if you want to keep playing it may be worth it.

That's my current plan, whenever this game manages to ooze into next winter. Haven't had this low FPS since the Circus came to town last time.
What FPS is considered "low" with this game? my forts usual end up around 20-30 fps with 100 dwarfs at a 3x3 embark and 2 caverns with a dip down for no apparent reason to 8-10.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on January 15, 2018, 11:50:21 am
Quote from: Novaris on January 15, 2018, 05:09:32 am
Quote from: Staalo on January 05, 2018, 09:02:14 pm
Quote from: TalonisWolf on January 05, 2018, 02:54:11 pm
Wait till it freezes next and seal off the exposed Aquifer? Might take awhile, but if you want to keep playing it may be worth it.

That's my current plan, whenever this game manages to ooze into next winter. Haven't had this low FPS since the Circus came to town last time.
What FPS is considered "low" with this game? my forts usual end up around 20-30 fps with 100 dwarfs at a 3x3 embark and 2 caverns with a dip down for no apparent reason to 8-10.
same fps here - though my forts usually have lots of FUN before they can reach that state.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weiserthanyou on January 15, 2018, 12:55:27 pm
Quote from: Novaris on January 15, 2018, 05:09:32 am
Quote from: Staalo on January 05, 2018, 09:02:14 pm
Quote from: TalonisWolf on January 05, 2018, 02:54:11 pm
Wait till it freezes next and seal off the exposed Aquifer? Might take awhile, but if you want to keep playing it may be worth it.

That's my current plan, whenever this game manages to ooze into next winter. Haven't had this low FPS since the Circus came to town last time.
What FPS is considered "low" with this game? my forts usual end up around 20-30 fps with 100 dwarfs at a 3x3 embark and 2 caverns with a dip down for no apparent reason to 8-10.
Interesting. I can manage a smooth fps with 150-odd dwarfs, rotting corpses, a caravan, and way too many pets with one revealed cavern and one partly revealed. Though my game dropped down to about 2 fps for several irl hours when i had about 90 dorfs, no caverns, fewer pets, and no water drainage. (also why doesn't the water drainage of entire flooded z-levels affect my fps?!)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Romeofalling on January 21, 2018, 05:48:39 pm
Honestly, I like starting forts more than playing them once they're established. It's rare for me to keep a game going past 80 dwarves or 3 years. Once the fps drops below 40, I've lost interest in the game for reasons that have nothing to do with the lag.

Okay, that came across as a "I dunno" response, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that there's fun to be had here that isn't about getting the game to run smoothly at year 20.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weiserthanyou on January 21, 2018, 10:44:58 pm
Every time I've been attacked by a SMB, werebeast, etc, I've suffered considerable civilian and militia casualties. So when a minotaur appeared uncomfortably close to where I was building the Great Wall of Mabdugvucar (the wall just got 10 feet higher!), I wasted no time in ordering a civilian alert, sealing the main entrances, preparation of such weaponry as could one-shot most enemies, etc, etc. Then my High Master swordsdwarf just grabbed a really good iron sword and tore the thing apart in like 4 blows. The facepalm: More people were injured by bridge-flinging because of AI prioritization of jobs than were injured by the Minotaur.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Romeofalling on January 22, 2018, 07:06:38 pm
Just got attached by a giant. That bridge over the moat I rebuilt three times? Still wrong.

It's been ages since I played and I couldn't remember how to tell civilians to stay in a burrow while the fighters went to the courtyard. I realize I forgot one of the dozen steps needed so my militia would actually train. And then the first bolt anyone shoots, a bone bolt, hits the giant in the head and knocked him out.

I still lost three guys in that fight.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aatch on January 22, 2018, 07:34:25 pm
Quote from: weiserthanyou on January 15, 2018, 12:55:27 pm
Interesting. I can manage a smooth fps with 150-odd dwarfs, rotting corpses, a caravan, and way too many pets with one revealed cavern and one partly revealed. Though my game dropped down to about 2 fps for several irl hours when i had about 90 dorfs, no caverns, fewer pets, and no water drainage. (also why doesn't the water drainage of entire flooded z-levels affect my fps?!)

It depends on what was going on in your fort at the time.

FPS drops happen because the game needs to do lots of calculations at a time, and those calculations take time. However not all calculations are equal, some are much more expensive than others. Pets are generally not much of problem because they just roam around aimlessly most of the time. Similarly the mere existence of an area isn't going to have a huge impact.

What does affect performance is pathfinding. It's very likely that Dwarf Fortress uses A* for pathfinding. It's stupidly fast, so it only really has a major impact when there are hundreds of entities all needing to path find (say a siege). That's only true if there is a path to begin with, however. You see, if there's no way to get from A to B, then it doesn't matter what algorithm you use, you'll have to search the entire area you can reach until you determine that it's unreachable. Now, DF probably has some caching around this, so locking a door doesn't instantly tank performance, but there's always limitations. Without more understanding of how DF works at that level, I can't even reasonably speculate.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mathel on January 23, 2018, 04:23:08 am
My only 2 miners (and picks)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Paralyzoid on January 30, 2018, 06:16:43 pm
When you try to trade away a wild troll, fresh from the caverns, to the elven caravan. And accidentally mark the tin cage for bringing to the depot instead of the troll in the cage.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on January 31, 2018, 05:21:41 am
Quote from: Paralyzoid on January 30, 2018, 06:16:43 pm
When you try to trade away a wild troll, fresh from the caverns, to the elven caravan. And accidentally mark the tin cage for bringing to the depot instead of the troll in the cage.
i wouldn't know how to trade prisoners/caged animals... i'll have to read in the wiki.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lazygun on January 31, 2018, 06:19:38 pm
A visiting scholar got mixed up in the basalt quarry outside my fort's walls (because I started building with basalt, ran out, and I hate mixing different stones) Now he is clinging to the side of a 3 z-level drop with no inclination to move. Well then, it must be time to channel away the clay loam he is clinging to.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TheFlame52 on January 31, 2018, 08:44:50 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on January 31, 2018, 05:21:41 am
Quote from: Paralyzoid on January 30, 2018, 06:16:43 pm
When you try to trade away a wild troll, fresh from the caverns, to the elven caravan. And accidentally mark the tin cage for bringing to the depot instead of the troll in the cage.
i wouldn't know how to trade prisoners/caged animals... i'll have to read in the wiki.
You can't trade animals unless they are domesticated and belong to you. Trying to do so with other creatures will free them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on February 01, 2018, 03:32:35 am
Quote from: TheFlame52 on January 31, 2018, 08:44:50 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on January 31, 2018, 05:21:41 am
Quote from: Paralyzoid on January 30, 2018, 06:16:43 pm
When you try to trade away a wild troll, fresh from the caverns, to the elven caravan. And accidentally mark the tin cage for bringing to the depot instead of the troll in the cage.
i wouldn't know how to trade prisoners/caged animals... i'll have to read in the wiki.
You can't trade animals unless they are domesticated and belong to you. Trying to do so with other creatures will free them.
oh, you saved me my dorfs from another desaster a lot of FUN.

EDIT:
i didn't know that dorfs tend to climb walls just so they can be seen by the invaders instead of being save behind them.
they also jumped down my walls to die in the masses of undead invaders.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Galap on February 08, 2018, 05:53:55 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on February 01, 2018, 03:32:35 am
Quote from: TheFlame52 on January 31, 2018, 08:44:50 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on January 31, 2018, 05:21:41 am
Quote from: Paralyzoid on January 30, 2018, 06:16:43 pm
When you try to trade away a wild troll, fresh from the caverns, to the elven caravan. And accidentally mark the tin cage for bringing to the depot instead of the troll in the cage.
i wouldn't know how to trade prisoners/caged animals... i'll have to read in the wiki.
You can't trade animals unless they are domesticated and belong to you. Trying to do so with other creatures will free them.
oh, you saved me my dorfs from another desaster a lot of FUN.

I just had this exact situation come up for me (wanting to sell a captured troll), and I had just read this thread. Unfortunately, It hadn't gotten to the post that says that you can't trade undomesticated animals. So I figured, 'oh, I'll just mark the troll itself for trade rather than the cage. That should be ok...'.

moments later: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

The army took care of it pretty fast, but there were a couple of casualties before they got there, namely the poor sod moron who opened the cage with a live toll.

Incidentally, what is the best use for captured trolls? You can't butcher them, and I don't think you can train them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: scourge728 on February 08, 2018, 06:17:38 pm
gladiator battles for military training
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on February 08, 2018, 06:53:53 pm
Quote from: scourge728 on February 08, 2018, 06:17:38 pm
gladiator battles for military training
i got no idea as of how to design a good arena and how to run it without creating many more facepalm moments...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bloop_bleep on February 08, 2018, 07:02:42 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on February 08, 2018, 06:53:53 pm
Quote from: scourge728 on February 08, 2018, 06:17:38 pm
gladiator battles for military training
i got no idea as of how to design a good arena and how to run it without creating many more facepalm moments...

You can literally just dig out a random area, build a bunch of cages inside, station your military and open the cages with levers. Though you might want to use bridges as opposed to doors in the entrances, since trolls are building destroyers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on February 08, 2018, 07:12:02 pm
Quote from: bloop_bleep on February 08, 2018, 07:02:42 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on February 08, 2018, 06:53:53 pm
Quote from: scourge728 on February 08, 2018, 06:17:38 pm
gladiator battles for military training
i got no idea as of how to design a good arena and how to run it without creating many more facepalm moments...

You can literally just dig out a random area, build a bunch of cages inside, station your military and open the cages with levers. Though you might want to use bridges as opposed to doors in the entrances, since trolls are building destroyers.
i always thought i'd need to build an elaborate arena with ranks for archers and cage traps at the entrances just in case something becomes FUN...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bloop_bleep on February 08, 2018, 07:15:18 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on February 08, 2018, 07:12:02 pm
Quote from: bloop_bleep on February 08, 2018, 07:02:42 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on February 08, 2018, 06:53:53 pm
Quote from: scourge728 on February 08, 2018, 06:17:38 pm
gladiator battles for military training
i got no idea as of how to design a good arena and how to run it without creating many more facepalm moments...

You can literally just dig out a random area, build a bunch of cages inside, station your military and open the cages with levers. Though you might want to use bridges as opposed to doors in the entrances, since trolls are building destroyers.
i always thought i'd need to build an elaborate arena with ranks for archers and cage traps at the entrances just in case something becomes FUN...
Don't need ranks for archers if you don't want to train archers. Cage traps are also unnecessary if you use bridges at the exits (and close them whenever you start training).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: lazygun on February 09, 2018, 08:40:38 pm
The outpost of Valleycrafted claimed its first dwarven life today, when I rediscovered why it's a bad idea to de-construct the down-stairs at the top of a 26 z-level stack of stairs. Tip: first build a hatch or grate two levels below what you are de-constructing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on February 15, 2018, 02:01:32 pm
Found out that everybody in my fortress makes fun of my manager's fear of lizards.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Schmaven on February 16, 2018, 11:07:26 pm
When I figured out how to reclaim a lost fort...  I used to stress about losing a fort and played it too safe.  Now that all that work building up the basic fort framework doesn't have to be completely lost, I've been living fast and taking chances. 

Edit: And again when I figured out how to transfer saves from earlier versions to the new versions.  So excited for raiding! 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ulfarr on February 26, 2018, 04:35:17 am
A three eyed raven titan has come. Standard defensive procedures.. I send the civilians inside a barrow and my legendary axe lord squad to the fortress entrance.

Ok I'm ready, where is it?  It should be here already. (zoom to titan's location)

Titan is attacking a door leading to the civilian barrow. How the fuck???? I realize I forgot to build a floor after chopping a tree on the level above. Quickly rearrange the barrows. Civilians leave and the military is now waiting on the other side of the door. (The door breaks and the battle start)

Hmm, this battle has been going for too long. (check combat log)
Why is everyone wrestling?? What the fuck is going on??? Slowly I realize I also forgot to reassign them weapons.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pikachu17 on February 27, 2018, 09:24:23 pm
Quote from: Japa on February 15, 2018, 02:01:32 pm
Found out that everybody in my fortress makes fun of my manager's fear of lizards.
Nasty trolling engravers, or everyone?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on February 27, 2018, 11:26:33 pm
Quote from: pikachu17 on February 27, 2018, 09:24:23 pm
Quote from: Japa on February 15, 2018, 02:01:32 pm
Found out that everybody in my fortress makes fun of my manager's fear of lizards.
Nasty trolling engravers, or everyone?
Engravings and statues.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pikachu17 on February 28, 2018, 02:55:41 pm
They make the engravings and statues of him surrounded by lizards? Do they have a grudge with him, or are they just jerks?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on March 01, 2018, 02:20:11 am
I checked one of the artists' relationships screen. He didn't even know her. Just carved a picture of her surrounded by lizards, with a terrified expression. Must be a local legend.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MCreeper on March 02, 2018, 02:01:13 pm
When i just want to play DF:
Aquifer everywhere!
No hostiles EVER!
When i want to do quick !SCIENCE! test that includes aquifer:
Aquifer barely exists.
Two giant grizzly bears come in, killed two dwarves and stealed some plump helmets.
Great troglodites in a cave.
Troll rushes out of the cave, breaks everything, goes back.
That was on map without aquifer.  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pikachu17 on March 06, 2018, 03:16:10 pm
Fire, fire everywhere! I panicked, got people inside, got the army ready in case of firey invaders, locked the doors. Then I actually loo'k'ed at the fire.

It was just leaves falling.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on March 07, 2018, 04:13:19 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
edit wrong part of the forum :D
opened the cavern too early and now a GSC is killing my dorfs and my dorfs are too slow on building coffins.

my dorfs start starving, i buy lots of precious food - they leave it at the trade depot, to rot, while the food stockpile is empty... just now i found that i must have accidently disabled them from gathering food.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Kametec_Housen on March 07, 2018, 06:17:55 pm
I had a weaponsmith enter a fey mood, claim a forge and demand some stuff. I got lucky, I had everything needed except for rough gems. So I decided to dig around, search for some. I also opened wiki and looked what kind of gems you can get in a gabbro layer. I got distracted and read lots of other stuff as well. When I returned to the game, I found out that I forgot to pause it and moody weaponsmith got melancholic in the meantime.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HotDiggityDog on March 18, 2018, 01:58:27 pm
Made a water system. Dwarf miner died creating it. Months later the water is stagnant and I don't know why. Look into the reservoir, find out the dwarf miner corpse has been pushed along by the water and new pipes that have been created during the past few months, until the corpse finally hit something and blocked the system's waterflow, turning it stagnant. Dwarves have been drinking their buddy's corpse water for months.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: wertyzerty on March 18, 2018, 04:49:28 pm
So yesterday I had a wereskink attack. Normally this would have been fine, if I had not just designed a 30x30 walled pasture outside. So, the military arrives, the wereskink bites one person max right?

Well, no. I didn't get the memo about danger rooms actually being dangerous now. All my military was resting in the hospital at the time. My mayor is now a wereskink.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Anandar on March 19, 2018, 03:08:02 am
1st attemp at aquifier piercing... had a good block to drop, but i didnt channel out the actual aquifier and with no surface stone i used a wood support... not thinking i put support in weird spot and dropped it on urists head... no peirce of aquifier and lost dwarf....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haggoroth on March 19, 2018, 04:30:20 pm
I just spent 2-3 weeks getting back into the game and learning it, reading the wiki only to find out I've been playing an old version because I downloaded a package that only included up to version 0.34.  Time to start the climb up the learning cliff again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bloop_bleep on March 19, 2018, 04:47:03 pm
Quote from: Haggoroth on March 19, 2018, 04:30:20 pm
I just spent 2-3 weeks getting back into the game and learning it, reading the wiki only to find out I've been playing an old version because I downloaded a package that only included up to version 0.34.  Time to start the climb up the learning cliff again.
Whenever you look up a page on the wiki it automatically redirects you to the information for the latest version (it should have a DF2014: at the beginning of the title.) Which means that most likely you have been learning the newest version, not the version you downloaded by accident.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MantisMan on March 19, 2018, 05:07:25 pm
Not really.

There are multiple entries on the wiki whenever you search for something. Type in Steel in the search, and the autocomplete list will show you the following options:

Sometimes, the plain listing that doesn't have any prefix in front of it will link to the entry of the current version of the game, but not always.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bloop_bleep on March 19, 2018, 07:42:47 pm
In every case I've seen any page without a namespace specifier in the title will redirect to the correspondent page of the newest version. I have in fact tried looking up the "Steel" page, and it did redirect me to "DF2014: Steel."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haggoroth on March 19, 2018, 09:11:31 pm
Quote from: bloop_bleep on March 19, 2018, 04:47:03 pm
Quote from: Haggoroth on March 19, 2018, 04:30:20 pm
I just spent 2-3 weeks getting back into the game and learning it, reading the wiki only to find out I've been playing an old version because I downloaded a package that only included up to version 0.34.  Time to start the climb up the learning cliff again.
Whenever you look up a page on the wiki it automatically redirects you to the information for the latest version (it should have a DF2014: at the beginning of the title.) Which means that most likely you have been learning the newest version, not the version you downloaded by accident.
True, almost everything I've read has been about the latest version.  However, not everything can be learned about this game from reading.  I meant I had 2-3 weeks of play on a version that is not the current game.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bloop_bleep on March 19, 2018, 09:22:18 pm
Quote from: Haggoroth on March 19, 2018, 09:11:31 pm
Quote from: bloop_bleep on March 19, 2018, 04:47:03 pm
Quote from: Haggoroth on March 19, 2018, 04:30:20 pm
I just spent 2-3 weeks getting back into the game and learning it, reading the wiki only to find out I've been playing an old version because I downloaded a package that only included up to version 0.34.  Time to start the climb up the learning cliff again.
Whenever you look up a page on the wiki it automatically redirects you to the information for the latest version (it should have a DF2014: at the beginning of the title.) Which means that most likely you have been learning the newest version, not the version you downloaded by accident.
True, almost everything I've read has been about the latest version.  However, not everything can be learned about this game from reading.  I meant I had 2-3 weeks of play on a version that is not the current game.
Oh, the gameplay itself is almost the same as v0.34, there's just some newer features to explore. You'll be fine.  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haggoroth on March 19, 2018, 09:30:58 pm
Well maybe I won't be so bad off then.  I'm really liking this overland map feature with all the sites around me.  And now I truly understand what people were talking about with sending out raids and explorations.  I thought I was going to have to wait for the dwarven liason to show up to stay before I'd get to try this out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ragnarock on March 20, 2018, 03:41:59 am
okay so i just made all of my pigtails that were supposed to be used for clothing into wine. fuck
shouldnt it leave seeds? im a noob
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MantisMan on March 20, 2018, 02:42:08 pm
http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Thresher (http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Thresher)
Quote
Thresher is the skill that dwarves use when given the labor plant processing. "Processing plants" actually covers 4 different jobs done at a farmer's workshop.

        Process plants:

        Turns pig tails, rope reed, flax plants, jute plants, hemp plants, cotton plants, ramie plants, and kenaf plants into the corresponding types of thread. These products produce seeds as well.

It looks like it should, yes. Why don't you check the stocks screen for seeds?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MantisMan on March 20, 2018, 03:29:53 pm
I was getting back into one of my older forts the other day, before I checked and updated to the new version. This was a 43.05 fort I played a couple months ago, I think. I'd had a bit of a break, so I was trying to ease myself back into the game and re-learning how things like mass-pitting works (not very well in this version, apparently).

Suddenly, combat messages were popping up. I checked them, and it seems that there was a pathway open to the caverns, right above my hospital / well setup. I'd built the hospital system partially inside the cavern and surrounded it with floors, walls, and ceilings. The opening was on the roof of the hospital area, where I'd kept my stone stockpile used for construction. Apparently, I'd figured that closing that hole was low priority because there were no ramps leading to that place.

There was a web-shooting forgotten beast with wings.

Oops.

It ended up slaughtering a number of the dwarves who happened to be walking down that central staircase. Luckily, when I noticed it, it seemed like it was being held off by one of the immigrant elf bowmen. He didn't seem to give a damn that he was webbed, since he could still shoot at the forgotten beast. Eventually, said elf was murderized by the beast, but that ended up buying enough time for me to send in my military. The wrong squad. The one with substandard and incomplete equipment because there were goblins, elves, and humans among them. Then I sent in the training squad of marksdwarves, and my main military force.

I was also dealing with a ~70 strong goblin invasion, who had a habit of entering my base in 2s and 4s through an unsecured part of my roof next to a hill that I hadn't been able to recognize.

Eventually, the goblins got bored, about a dozen of them were killed or captured, then they left.

At the end of the session, my fort's dwarf population went from around 136 to closer to 86. One of the casualties, to my dismay, was my Smith, who was responsible for making my weapons and armour. Now I'm stuck with a relatively untrained smith that I'm going to try to train with copper / bronze before I let him touch my steel.

I've also reorganized my military by race. I have a full melee squad with my best gear and a secondary training squad with lesser gear as I gradually arm up. Both made entirely of dwarves. Ditto for a pair of marksdwarf squads. The immigrants with Bow skill get their own squad (might as well use their weapons and all those arrows I seem to keep picking up), and every non-dwarf melee unit is put into a suicide squad with whatever armour and arms they can scrounge up for themselves and will be sent to the front line as much as possible.

I want an easy way to find the "unusable" armour and clothing to designate it for melting. Searching for armour by size doesn't tell me what I can equip my military with, so I'm thinking that mixed military units might be more trouble than they're worth unless I use them as disposable conscripts.

Anyway, the short version is that poking into an old game and stumbling into two problems at once shortly after I got into the game led to a massive population drop and the death of that fort's smith.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Moonstone_Flower on March 20, 2018, 06:21:37 pm
Quote from: MantisMan on March 20, 2018, 02:42:08 pm
http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Thresher (http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Thresher)
Quote
Thresher is the skill that dwarves use when given the labor plant processing. "Processing plants" actually covers 4 different jobs done at a farmer's workshop.

        Process plants:

        Turns pig tails, rope reed, flax plants, jute plants, hemp plants, cotton plants, ramie plants, and kenaf plants into the corresponding types of thread. These products produce seeds as well.

It looks like it should, yes. Why don't you check the stocks screen for seeds?

Thresher is not the job that makes alcohol.  They said that they brewed their pig tails.

Yes, brewing should leave seeds behind - but be cautious, as cooking does not!  Fortunately, pig tails cannot be cooked.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MantisMan on March 20, 2018, 07:24:57 pm
I guess I must have mentally switched "clothing" with "wine" in that sentence.

I could have sworn he was saying the problem was that he turned it into cloth instead of booze.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: scourge728 on March 20, 2018, 07:31:27 pm
Can we agree that alcohol should have the cook option turned off by default
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on March 20, 2018, 08:04:15 pm
So I was playing PUBBA-GUH (PUBG)

Made it to the last 15 players on the map. Saw a motorcycle parked by a house, someone was obviously inside either scavenging or camping. I successfully snuck up to the bike, grabbed it, and proceeded to crow as loudly as possible over voice while spamming the horn and driving off. The guy tried to shoot me off and missed.

I made it over the next hill before flipping the bike and dying instantly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bloop_bleep on March 20, 2018, 08:20:32 pm
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on March 20, 2018, 08:04:15 pm
So I was playing PUBBA-GUH (PUBG)

Made it to the last 15 players on the map. Saw a motorcycle parked by a house, someone was obviously inside either scavenging or camping. I successfully snuck up to the bike, grabbed it, and proceeded to crow as loudly as possible over voice while spamming the horn and driving off. The guy tried to shoot me off and missed.

I made it over the next hill before flipping the bike and dying instantly.

There's actually a "How did you just die recently?" thread over in General Discussion; I think this would be more on-topic there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MantisMan on March 21, 2018, 12:03:30 am
Quote from: scourge728 on March 20, 2018, 07:31:27 pm
Can we agree that alcohol should have the cook option turned off by default

Yes, definitely.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on March 21, 2018, 09:14:51 am
Quote from: MantisMan on March 21, 2018, 12:03:30 am
Quote from: scourge728 on March 20, 2018, 07:31:27 pm
Can we agree that alcohol should have the cook option turned off by default

Yes, definitely.
I agree.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on March 21, 2018, 01:34:47 pm
Quote from: bloop_bleep on March 20, 2018, 08:20:32 pm
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on March 20, 2018, 08:04:15 pm
So I was playing PUBBA-GUH (PUBG)

Made it to the last 15 players on the map. Saw a motorcycle parked by a house, someone was obviously inside either scavenging or camping. I successfully snuck up to the bike, grabbed it, and proceeded to crow as loudly as possible over voice while spamming the horn and driving off. The guy tried to shoot me off and missed.

I made it over the next hill before flipping the bike and dying instantly.

There's actually a "How did you just die recently?" thread over in General Discussion; I think this would be more on-topic there.

I might just be stupid but I can't find it, even though I remember posting in it at some point.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Moonstone_Flower on March 21, 2018, 02:20:24 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on March 21, 2018, 09:14:51 am
Quote from: MantisMan on March 21, 2018, 12:03:30 am
Quote from: scourge728 on March 20, 2018, 07:31:27 pm
Can we agree that alcohol should have the cook option turned off by default

Yes, definitely.
I agree.

Hear hear!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Anandar on March 21, 2018, 08:59:00 pm
Quote from: Moonstone_Flower on March 21, 2018, 02:20:24 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on March 21, 2018, 09:14:51 am
Quote from: MantisMan on March 21, 2018, 12:03:30 am
Quote from: scourge728 on March 20, 2018, 07:31:27 pm
Can we agree that alcohol should have the cook option turned off by default

Yes, definitely.
I agree.

Hear hear!

SILENCE!!! I concur!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Uberpooch on March 22, 2018, 04:52:08 pm
One of my dwarves was infected with lycanthropy (were-badger).  I had him in a room in the hospital with a locked door.  For two months, he did nothing but sit on his bed.  Even when he transformed, he just sat there, so I didn't take any further steps to contain or eliminate him.  Got up to fix some lunch, but didn't pause the game.  Came back 10 minutes later.  "Why is my dining room painted red now?  What's with all these job cancellation warnings?"  I paused and found the were-badger had broken the door, then proceeded to slaughter his way through the dining hall, the workshops, and the barracks, before apparently running off of the map.  Out of 90 dwarves in my fortress, only 12 were alive and uninjured, and half of these were children.  I had over 30 injured survivors, but a quick check with DFHack confirmed my fears - all were infected.  I abandoned the fort rather than endure the inevitable tantrum spirals before werebeasts devoured the few healthy survivors.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: DoktaYut on March 22, 2018, 05:23:38 pm
Quote from: Uberpooch on March 22, 2018, 04:52:08 pm
One of my dwarves was infected with lycanthropy (were-badger).  I had him in a room in the hospital with a locked door.  For two months, he did nothing but sit on his bed.  Even when he transformed, he just sat there, so I didn't take any further steps to contain or eliminate him.  Got up to fix some lunch, but didn't pause the game.  Came back 10 minutes later.  "Why is my dining room painted red now?  What's with all these job cancellation warnings?"  I paused and found the were-badger had broken the door, then proceeded to slaughter his way through the dining hall, the workshops, and the barracks, before apparently running off of the map.  Out of 90 dwarves in my fortress, only 12 were alive and uninjured, and half of these were children.  I had over 30 injured survivors, but a quick check with DFHack confirmed my fears - all were infected.  I abandoned the fort rather than endure the inevitable tantrum spirals before werebeasts devoured the few healthy survivors.
If you restart in that same world make sure to pick a different civilization, unless you want a werebadger as one of your immigrants.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Xyon on March 26, 2018, 06:53:26 am
Hmmm.  Uberpooch, with more infected than uninfected, wouldn't the eventual conclusion of that fortress be just an entire, small but deadly, fortress of were-badger dwarfs? I suppose that might not be fun to play during the transition period between a normal and a were-fort, but if you could set it up so that migrant waves had seperate burrows, some armor, and trained some military skills to the point where they could survive an attack and be infected, but not kill the were-badgers, then you could keep building up your fortress .

Of course I can definitely see how this wouldn't be appealing to everyone.


I've been playing a small fortress recently, only a 2x2 embark, 50 dwarf strict cap right now.  Long history on a pocket world. I think all the dwarf civs were dead when I started so its been kind of a revival.  I have had a single human caravan come so far, and two mystery human caravans, waiting for.. I think its goblins or elfs my civ might still be at war with, will increase pop cap when ready to deal with that stuff.

Anyhoo, one miller goes and declares herself queen, and then a migration wave comes, and dwarfs start getting drained of their blood. I haven't dealt much with vampires before, but the darn thing drained our queen because I face-palmed and didn't deal with it after the first drained dwarf.   Needless to say it was one of the worthless fishworkers who ended up being the vampire, and now they are in a small room, locked behind a door, and the door is walled off on the other side.  I guess at least if all the other dwarfs die in this fortress I will still have my vampire in a locked room and just need to wait for the next migration wave.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Lord Shiteblast on March 26, 2018, 06:32:34 pm
Quote from: Anandar on March 21, 2018, 08:59:00 pm
Quote from: Moonstone_Flower on March 21, 2018, 02:20:24 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on March 21, 2018, 09:14:51 am
Quote from: MantisMan on March 21, 2018, 12:03:30 am
Quote from: scourge728 on March 20, 2018, 07:31:27 pm
Can we agree that alcohol should have the cook option turned off by default

Yes, definitely.
I agree.

Hear hear!

SILENCE!!! I concur!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_Ykc91L5kY

Quote from: Uberpooch on March 22, 2018, 04:52:08 pm
One of my dwarves was infected with lycanthropy (were-badger).  I had him in a room in the hospital with a locked door.  For two months, he did nothing but sit on his bed.  Even when he transformed, he just sat there, so I didn't take any further steps to contain or eliminate him.  Got up to fix some lunch, but didn't pause the game.  Came back 10 minutes later.  "Why is my dining room painted red now?  What's with all these job cancellation warnings?"  I paused and found the were-badger had broken the door, then proceeded to slaughter his way through the dining hall, the workshops, and the barracks, before apparently running off of the map.  Out of 90 dwarves in my fortress, only 12 were alive and uninjured, and half of these were children.  I had over 30 injured survivors, but a quick check with DFHack confirmed my fears - all were infected.  I abandoned the fort rather than endure the inevitable tantrum spirals before werebeasts devoured the few healthy survivors.

That's unlucky, but highly entertaining. You should make an adventurer to try and clear out the fort, maybe a dwarf from the same parent civ to rp it nicely. You could then reclaim it if you want or leave it at that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haggoroth on March 28, 2018, 12:29:39 am
I embarked on a new journey, started some miners digging, targeting some trees to cut down, set up some pastures for my animals.

My woodcutter fell one tree without incident, the 2nd tree must have fallen on him because he was unconscious with a mangled leg within 2 minutes of unpausing.

I let him die of dehydration and his battle axe was passed on.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bloop_bleep on March 29, 2018, 07:07:10 pm
Quote from: Haggoroth on March 28, 2018, 12:29:39 am
I embarked on a new journey, started some miners digging, targeting some trees to cut down, set up some pastures for my animals.

My woodcutter fell one tree without incident, the 2nd tree must have fallen on him because he was unconscious with a mangled leg within 2 minutes of unpausing.

I let him die of dehydration and his battle axe was passed on.

Did you check the battle reports? Might've been some nasty you hadn't noticed, instead of the logs from the tree.

It should say something like "The woodcutter was hit with the [spinning] wood log..." if the tree was the culprit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haggoroth on March 29, 2018, 10:34:56 pm
Quote from: bloop_bleep on March 29, 2018, 07:07:10 pm
Did you check the battle reports? Might've been some nasty you hadn't noticed, instead of the logs from the tree.

It should say something like "The woodcutter was hit with the [spinning] wood log..." if the tree was the culprit.
Yes, after I posted this I decided to investigate:
https://imgur.com/F2gpuBS (https://imgur.com/F2gpuBS)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Anandar on March 30, 2018, 01:54:44 am
That was one vicious log... and a whole lotta puke
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: snow dwarf on April 02, 2018, 07:34:38 am
I just found out that dig up ramp removes the layer above.... facepalm
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mathel on April 03, 2018, 02:10:37 pm
If you mean channeling, it actually removes current level and creates a ramp below.

Edit 2: Please ignore previous statement. I forgot about the "make upward ramp" designation. *facepalm*

Edit: Also, what use would be a ramp, ending in the ceilng?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: thvaz on April 03, 2018, 02:32:01 pm
Got a mood on a weaponsmith, proceeded to forbid all the bars letting only adamantine available, and the dwarf crafted a adamantine war hammer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on April 03, 2018, 02:37:02 pm
Quote from: Mathel on April 03, 2018, 02:10:37 pm
Also, what use would be a ramp, ending in the ceilng?
I imagine there are situations where you'd want to have the ramp excavated so you can move past it, yet not want to immediately breach the tile above. Could be Fun in some cases.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Haggoroth on April 04, 2018, 09:16:27 pm
Quote from: Bumber on April 03, 2018, 02:37:02 pm
Quote from: Mathel on April 03, 2018, 02:10:37 pm
Also, what use would be a ramp, ending in the ceilng?
I imagine there are situations where you'd want to have the ramp excavated so you can move past it, yet not want to immediately breach the tile above. Could be Fun in some cases.
For a minimalist path divergence scheme you should have a ramp ending in a bridge that leads your opponents down one of two routes depending on what you wanted from them.  I'm actually considering changing that for my fortresses now that I think about it.  Trap hallway under my trade depot..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: snow dwarf on April 05, 2018, 10:47:17 pm
Quote from: Haggoroth on April 04, 2018, 09:16:27 pm
Quote from: Bumber on April 03, 2018, 02:37:02 pm
Quote from: Mathel on April 03, 2018, 02:10:37 pm
Also, what use would be a ramp, ending in the ceilng?
I imagine there are situations where you'd want to have the ramp excavated so you can move past it, yet not want to immediately breach the tile above. Could be Fun in some cases.
For a minimalist path divergence scheme you should have a ramp ending in a bridge that leads your opponents down one of two routes depending on what you wanted from them.  I'm actually considering changing that for my fortresses now that I think about it.  Trap hallway under my trade depot..
Once you do this could you post a screenshot, cause this seems quite useful, but I can't really wrap my head around it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on April 06, 2018, 12:00:34 pm
Quote from: snow dwarf on April 05, 2018, 10:47:17 pm
Once you do this could you post a screenshot, cause this seems quite useful, but I can't really wrap my head around it.
I have something similar, but it uses stairs.

Imagine a tunnel with a long raising bridge in it. When the bridge is up, there is a barrier across the tunnel. When the bridge is down, there is no barrier across the tunnel. But there is a barrier along the floor, where the bridge rests. This is where the stairs go. Now, when the bridge is up, there is a barrier across the tunnel and the stairs are accessible. When the bridge is down, the tunnel is unbarred and the stairs are inaccessible.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: snow dwarf on April 06, 2018, 01:05:20 pm
Quote from: Sutremaine on April 06, 2018, 12:00:34 pm
Quote from: snow dwarf on April 05, 2018, 10:47:17 pm
Once you do this could you post a screenshot, cause this seems quite useful, but I can't really wrap my head around it.
I have something similar, but it uses stairs.

Imagine a tunnel with a long raising bridge in it. When the bridge is up, there is a barrier across the tunnel. When the bridge is down, there is no barrier across the tunnel. But there is a barrier along the floor, where the bridge rests. This is where the stairs go. Now, when the bridge is up, there is a barrier across the tunnel and the stairs are accessible. When the bridge is down, the tunnel is unbarred and the stairs are inaccessible.
Oh, ok makes sense
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Llamageddon on April 16, 2018, 04:06:05 am
Funny, I am just building exactly this. Ramp that connects to bridge when it is lowered and goes to my trade depot and when it is raised pathing goes through a danger room that I am in the middle of building.

Partly doing this as I had a facepalm moment when I built some cage traps between a trading merchant and the exit. Didn't know cage traps blocked trade wagons. Found out when the trader decided to go insane. I then nearly did the same thing with tethered war dogs, discovered they block caravans too. I really don't know why I thought chains wouldn't block the caravan after I just discovered cage traps do.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on April 16, 2018, 08:59:07 am
managed to get soundsense to work on linux and even copied in mephs raws, art and inits, but didn't check if the linux LNP works. so now i can use soundsense without DF  :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Insert_Gnome_Here on April 16, 2018, 09:36:56 am
What non-vanilla LNP stuff do you use? 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on April 16, 2018, 10:51:41 am
Quote from: Insert_Gnome_Here on April 16, 2018, 09:36:56 am
What non-vanilla LNP stuff do you use?
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=163211.0 that's what i used.
but i'll download the latest vanilla release and try that... it was a facepalm though, realising i put about a days worth of worries into soundsense running and then realising DF doesnt work :D
facepalm again, as i just found out how to install the required sdl packages :D
vanilla works, now i'll try LNP, then LNP+meph
hopefully next facepalm won't be due to my low linux-skill
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Insert_Gnome_Here on April 16, 2018, 12:16:40 pm
What utilities from the bundle do you use? 
Might be possible to install them all separately. 
And don't forget to delete libstd.so.6 or whatever, if you need to.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on April 16, 2018, 01:06:35 pm
:) thanks for the help, i just generated a new world - which dfhack modules?
autoprune dead/missing list; don'tcooktallow; enhanced gameplay; other automation plugins; mousequery; performance tweaks;

 - currently i was just so much facepalming as i still have so much to learn about linux.
the basic LNP works, i use only soundsense so far, but i already tested and DT works,
created a world with LNP and now going for the lnp with mephs.
if mephs can create a world whiel soundsense is running, i'll embark and use DT.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nebirius on April 16, 2018, 11:31:50 pm
Thought I'd finally contribute to this forum after silently reading in the shadows for so long

My facepalm moment was when my fort was being attacked, I closed the doors(aka the three large drawbridges that create the path into my fort) and then I realized a kid was still outside the doors and had to watch as they bravely fought off three of the invading elves before dying, that was the son of the leader of my fort, he then dived off the tower to save his kid and I had to watch as he died as well, then the fort died cause the elves killed everyone after breaking down the doors
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on April 17, 2018, 05:43:02 am
Quote from: Nebirius on April 16, 2018, 11:31:50 pm
[...] I closed the doors(aka the three large drawbridges that create the path into my fort) [...] the elves killed everyone after breaking down the doors
Wait, what? Drawbridges can only be destroyed by temperature and tantrums.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on April 17, 2018, 06:57:21 am
Quote from: Bumber on April 17, 2018, 05:43:02 am
Quote from: Nebirius on April 16, 2018, 11:31:50 pm
[...] I closed the doors(aka the three large drawbridges that create the path into my fort) [...] the elves killed everyone after breaking down the doors
Wait, what? Drawbridges can only be destroyed by temperature and tantrums.
so i'm not the only one who is confused by this.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pikachu17 on April 17, 2018, 02:15:58 pm
Were the elves burning angry, and tantrumming?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Nebirius on April 17, 2018, 03:16:18 pm
Quote from: Bumber on April 17, 2018, 05:43:02 am
Quote from: Nebirius on April 16, 2018, 11:31:50 pm
[...] I closed the doors(aka the three large drawbridges that create the path into my fort) [...] the elves killed everyone after breaking down the doors
Wait, what? Drawbridges can only be destroyed by temperature and tantrums.

Yea that was the problem, one of my dwarfs had a temper tantrum and destroyed the drawbridges because the elves were sieging us for so long he went crazy( we kinda deforested a whole jungle and then sold them everything we made with the wood) sorry I didn't make it clearer, (I just attibuted the crazy dwarf to them cause my fort was working without crazy dwarfs for almost 10 years in game before the 3 year long siege)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on April 17, 2018, 03:24:03 pm
He destroyed three drawbridges? That is some bad luck right there. Also, I didn't realize the elves still declared war after enough refused requests to sell wood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: k on April 17, 2018, 11:56:46 pm
Elves only have natural animals, which are not building destroyers. If you have any door in the corridors, lock the door and they wouldn't have passed!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iris on April 24, 2018, 05:13:44 pm
When I realized what exactly "infinite water source" meant.

Hint: flooding. Fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weiserthanyou on April 25, 2018, 11:33:35 am
I just discovered why I haven't been able to mine deeper for over a year, for no reason.
I built a grate and level covering the entrance to the deeper area to stop the irritating underground monsters from just waltzing up the mineshafts and into my fort. then i totally forgot because they blend in near-perfectly with the surrounding floor and I've been so busy revamping my upper levels' defenses.

*headslamming*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: random_odd_guy on April 28, 2018, 12:05:42 am
When dwarves insist on continuing to haul entire boulders and giant cages after werebeasts, semimegabeasts, and titans are chasing them...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mort Stroodle on April 28, 2018, 03:39:48 am
I always assumed that when I heard somebody mention clowns, they were actually talking about an army of honest to goodness clowns that attacked you if you found some kind of clown car easter egg. To this day when I see the elf bards that my texture set gives clown sprites to, I have a tiny heart attack because some unconcious part of me still thinks there are actual clowns in the game that will fuck up my shit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Moonstone_Flower on April 28, 2018, 01:56:09 pm
Quote from: Mort Stroodle on April 28, 2018, 03:39:48 am
I always assumed that when I heard somebody mention clowns, they were actually talking about an army of honest to goodness clowns that attacked you if you found some kind of clown car easter egg. To this day when I see the elf bards that my texture set gives clown sprites to, I have a tiny heart attack because some unconcious part of me still thinks there are actual clowns in the game that will fuck up my shit.

This is exactly why (although not the only reason) calling hellspawn "clowns" is so stupid.  *Facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Magistrum on April 28, 2018, 09:40:24 pm
That is a plus, friend.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: MrSelfDestruct on April 29, 2018, 09:49:24 am
Quote from: Mort Stroodle on April 28, 2018, 03:39:48 am
I always assumed that when I heard somebody mention clowns, they were actually talking about an army of honest to goodness clowns that attacked you if you found some kind of clown car easter egg. To this day when I see the elf bards that my texture set gives clown sprites to, I have a tiny heart attack because some unconcious part of me still thinks there are actual clowns in the game that will fuck up my shit.

Who says there aren't actual clowns waiting to attack your fort while you least suspect it?

Sarcasm aside, I would actually love clowns to be a profession so we can see some weird clown professions (i.e. XXX Queen/Clown).

Now for my obligatory face palm moment, I have, despite lots of painful experience with water and its properties in DF, flooded my farms by accidentally channeling a Up/Down stair instead of just an Up stair when building a river reservoir. Thankfully, only some potash maker died that was a recent migrant, and my magma furnaces at the bottom were spared the aqua onslaught because I quickly sealed off the part of my farms that were flooded.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Sutremaine on April 30, 2018, 01:34:00 am
Quote from: Moonstone_Flower on April 28, 2018, 01:56:09 pm
This is exactly why (although not the only reason) calling hellspawn "clowns" is so stupid.  *Facepalm*
I think it's funny.

Mort Stroodle: *digs too deep*
Dwarves: *die messily and unpleasantly*
Mort Stroodle: Well, that was interesting. At least they didn't send in the clowns.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mathel on May 01, 2018, 02:13:22 pm
Clowns only attack you if you eat their candy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: random_odd_guy on May 02, 2018, 11:13:06 am
Quote from: Moonstone_Flower on April 28, 2018, 01:56:09 pm
Quote from: Mort Stroodle on April 28, 2018, 03:39:48 am
I always assumed that when I heard somebody mention clowns, they were actually talking about an army of honest to goodness clowns that attacked you if you found some kind of clown car easter egg. To this day when I see the elf bards that my texture set gives clown sprites to, I have a tiny heart attack because some unconcious part of me still thinks there are actual clowns in the game that will fuck up my shit.

This is exactly why (although not the only reason) calling hellspawn "clowns" is so stupid.  *Facepalm*

The reason they do it is so that a new player who glances at the forums won't know what the heck they are talking about and expect innumerable horrible things to show up and murder them when they do the thing.

As far as why they are called *clowns* though. They needed something inane enough that you'd never think they meant demons. They figured clowns made enough 'sense' because clowns, being creatures of joy and comedy, are the most undwarvenly thing imaginable. thus a joking allusion to their eldritch nature.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: scourge728 on May 02, 2018, 01:38:54 pm
except you guys all just ruined it
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on May 02, 2018, 02:01:57 pm
THEY ARE KIDDING HE TALKS ABOUT CLOWNS HE MEANS CLOWNS LIKE HONK HONK FROM THE CIRCUS, WHICH IS NOT HELL.

We good.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on May 02, 2018, 02:47:53 pm
This is dwarf fortress.  Losing is fun.  Clowns are often vehicles for providing fun.  I hope you know where this is going.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: weiserthanyou on May 06, 2018, 10:32:15 pm
Quote from: Rockphed on May 02, 2018, 02:47:53 pm
This is dwarf fortress.  Losing is fun.  Clowns are often vehicles for providing fun.  I hope you know where this is going.
Unless you're so dead-serious or insane enough that you decline their fun, remove their comedic capabilities, and divest them of their big top to turn it into a delightfully sadistic elf-prison (terraforming)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Moonstone_Flower on May 08, 2018, 07:36:35 pm
Quote from: random_odd_guy on May 02, 2018, 11:13:06 am
They figured clowns made enough 'sense' because clowns, being creatures of joy and comedy, are the most undwarvenly thing imaginable. thus a joking allusion to their eldritch nature.

Have you seen a clown?  I have.  They have nothing to do with "joy and comedy" and everything to do with "pissing myself while curled into a terrified ball and/or running as fast as I can".  However, they are not the most terrifying thing I have seen.  I hereby motion to call hellspawn "spiders of the deep".  I would suggest "humans", but there is already a creature in the game which goes by that name.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mathel on May 09, 2018, 03:48:57 am
The thing about clowns is not that they are funny. It is the relief, that you do not have life as bad as they have.

I mean, would you want to be a guy with painted face, who gets made fun of? They have to pretend to be stupid and have a lot of fake accidents. Unfortunately, not only having your face painted makes you not look much like a human, but a lot of movies involve evil clowns, which makes people afraid of clowns, which makes them write about evil clowns. It is a positive feedback loop, which makes clowns terrifying.

But the original intent was that of a king's fool. A person, whos job is to be made fun of.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on May 09, 2018, 03:58:01 am
Quote from: Mathel on May 09, 2018, 03:48:57 am
The thing about clowns is not that they are funny. It is the relief, that you do not have life as bad as they have.

I mean, would you want to be a guy with painted face, who gets made fun of? They have to pretend to be stupid and have a lot of fake accidents. Unfortunately, not only having your face painted makes you not look much like a human, but a lot of movies involve evil clowns, which makes people afraid of clowns, which makes them write about evil clowns. It is a positive feedback loop, which makes clowns terrifying.

But the original intent was that of a king's fool. A person, whos job is to be made fun of.
but the king's fool was reading him funny poems, singing him songs or doing tricks - on the other hand he was the only one who was allowed to even make sarcastic jokes, poems and songs about the king without being punished.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mathel on May 09, 2018, 04:54:07 am
That too, but it also involved physical comedy, which includes such stuff. They also tended to wear silly looking clothes. But I guess that likening clowns to royal fools was a mistake anyway.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on May 09, 2018, 08:37:01 am
Quote from: Mathel on May 09, 2018, 04:54:07 am
That too, but it also involved physical comedy, which includes such stuff. They also tended to wear silly looking clothes. But I guess that likening clowns to royal fools was a mistake anyway.
sure, the typical circus clown got not that very much in common with a king's fool or bard.
also a circus usually travels like the "rotational europeans" do - although a circus in DF does more harm doing so.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: doublestrafe on May 09, 2018, 08:54:58 pm
I just discovered a vast, untapped source of sand in my fortress.

Five years in, long after I'd given up on glass.

Right on the surface, where the animals had been tearing up the ground the entire time.

Red sand. Bright red sand. In a place I was examining at least every time a migrant wave came.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TubaDragoness on May 14, 2018, 07:07:54 pm
I just finished my raw edits in time for the new release. |:p
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: k on May 17, 2018, 06:17:38 am
Is there a new release?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TubaDragoness on May 20, 2018, 10:53:46 pm
The emotion change release. I update slowly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: StagnantSoul on June 01, 2018, 05:55:37 pm
I spent forever setting up the entrance to my fort. Traps, spikes, soldier stations, ballistae behind fortifications. The works. Except, I placed the ballista backwards.

As I type this my siege engineers are decimating the tavern population.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TD1 on June 02, 2018, 11:39:00 am
Captain: Destroy the foreign scum befouling our fair fortress!
Ballistae workers [shrugging]: *Fire with great gusto*
Captain: ... In retrospect, I could perhaps have worded that order differently.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: spazyak on June 09, 2018, 12:46:10 pm
I lost my fort, including a legendary axe dwarf, to a swarm of troglodytes that just kept coming.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TD1 on June 11, 2018, 09:26:43 am
The secret is to let them either live in the caverns or in cages, and not to kill them all in a bloody crusade of glory.

I'd periodically kill the subterranean hordes, but they only stopped coming when enough stumbled into traps.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rowanas on June 15, 2018, 07:32:18 am
Quote from: TubaDragoness on May 14, 2018, 07:07:54 pm
I just finished my raw edits in time for the new release. |:p

I'm just musing on redownloading DF again (again, again, again), and I feel your pain. Remodding in my Crocodile Monitor Lizards, and pruning clothes, plants, minerals and gems after every update was what kept driving me off.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Iduno on June 19, 2018, 11:08:33 am
Quote from: Moonstone_Flower on May 08, 2018, 07:36:35 pm
They have nothing to do with "joy and comedy" and everything to do with "pissing myself while curled into a terrified ball and/or running as fast as I can". 

You're going to have to explain to me how those are different, because that sounds like comedy from where I'm sitting.

On topic: I was having some difficulties with my walls being re-painted by legendary dwarf blood/limbs because I forgot what the captain of the guard does and also that jails are a thing that exists. That lasted a few years. I still haven't replaced the highly-skilled dwarves so they are very slowly carrying things to their jobs (dwarves prefer whichever rock/bone/log that is the absolute furthest from them, and I'm not good at burrows).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on June 20, 2018, 12:45:35 am
Quote from: Iduno on June 19, 2018, 11:08:33 am
(dwarves prefer whichever rock/bone/log that is the absolute furthest from them, and I'm not good at burrows).

My experience has been that dwarves select the closest item in 3D space.  If you want dwarves to use the stockpile right next to their workshop, either have solid rock at least 2 levels above and below them, or ensure that the space is occupied by non-stockpile things.  Or, if you are fine with a 10 tile round trip, just put workshops between stairs and have the stockpile be either above or below the workshop.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on June 20, 2018, 12:56:38 am
Or just set the workshop to only take from a specific stockpile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on June 20, 2018, 11:09:35 am
Quote from: Japa on June 20, 2018, 12:56:38 am
Or just set the workshop to only take from a specific stockpile.

I keep forgetting that that is a thing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on June 20, 2018, 01:02:22 pm
AT WORK.

GOT CAN OF TUNA.

GOT MAYO FROM FRIDGE.

GOT SALT AND PEPPER.

GOT BOWL.

MAKING RICE FOR SIDE DISH.

FORGOT DRINK.

GO TO DRINK MACHINE.

FORGOT CARD.

MAKE TRIP BACK TO DESK FOR CARD.

DRINK GET!!!!!!

ALL IS PREPARED.

I left my can opener at home today.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: andrian on June 20, 2018, 05:17:04 pm
Not exactly sure if this counts as a facepalm moment, but... I just got a message that one of my dwarves was too depressed to drink.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on June 21, 2018, 04:32:47 am
Quote from: andrian on June 20, 2018, 05:17:04 pm
Not exactly sure if this counts as a facepalm moment, but... I just got a message that one of my dwarves was too depressed to drink.
I sometimes always drink instead of drinking when i'm depressed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: carewolf on June 21, 2018, 12:01:13 pm
Upgrading to 0.44.10 thinking this new memories and working stress would be fun, and then 3 months later having 55 / 102 dwarves locked up in the dungeon for insanity, including the duchess and 4 consequitive captains of the guard that all went insane after detaining all the dwarves that went insane over seeing goblin teeths.

I wasnt wrong about the fun..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: anewaname on June 21, 2018, 05:58:12 pm
Dug out a new room and wanted to clear out the stone. Obliviously created the dump zone adjacent to the ramp the dwarfs would use to haul the stone to the dump zone (because, usually it is a stairs, not a ramp). Flipped to check something else and came back to "found dead.... found dead... found dead..." and a number of wounded. I suspect they named the new game "Dwarf Bowling" or "King of the Hill".
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: delphonso on June 24, 2018, 07:17:29 pm
Built a fort next to a necromancer's tower. Never really got my feet under me enough to make a good military. Dug out a new entrance with a bridge and all for the incoming traders.

When the wave of undead show up, I flip the lever to see that I hadn't set it as a drawbridge - instead, a retracting bridge. I watch helplessly as the undead crush all my dwarves' skulls.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gentlefish on June 26, 2018, 11:16:43 am
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on June 20, 2018, 01:02:22 pm
AT WORK.

GOT CAN OF TUNA.

GOT MAYO FROM FRIDGE.

GOT SALT AND PEPPER.

GOT BOWL.

MAKING RICE FOR SIDE DISH.

FORGOT DRINK.

GO TO DRINK MACHINE.

FORGOT CARD.

MAKE TRIP BACK TO DESK FOR CARD.

DRINK GET!!!!!!

ALL IS PREPARED.

I left my can opener at home today.

This is beautiful not only because this is the wrong thread but also because I've done exactly the same thing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Silverlock on June 26, 2018, 12:49:45 pm
Quote from: Gentlefish on June 26, 2018, 11:16:43 am
This is beautiful not only because this is the wrong thread but also because I've done exactly the same thing.

That strikes me as definitely a face-palm moment.  Maybe not DF-related, but certainly a face-palm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on June 26, 2018, 03:48:01 pm
Quote from: Silverlock on June 26, 2018, 12:49:45 pm
Quote from: Gentlefish on June 26, 2018, 11:16:43 am
This is beautiful not only because this is the wrong thread but also because I've done exactly the same thing.

That strikes me as definitely a face-palm moment.  Maybe not DF-related, but certainly a face-palm.

The best part is that I am successfully eating tuna and crackers as I read this response.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: absimiliard on June 27, 2018, 09:35:41 am
For some time now I've been working on a custom embark.  One of the requirements is that I bring the necessary goods to pierce an aquifer.  Now I like two screw pumps for aquifer piercing, and I like magma safe so I can use them later.  So ... 2 glass screws, 2 glass pipes, 2 glass blocks, 2 magma-safe rock mechanisms.......

umm....  2 mechanisms???

Yeah, so, for all these embarks I've been bringing enough rock to cover 5 mechanisms, three for a lever and a bridge (really a basic safety requirement IMO) and 2 for ... screw-pumps......     Except I just found out this morning I don't need mechanisms for screw pumps .....

So why have I been bringing those two extra rock all this time???

*face  meet   palm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tilmar13 on July 11, 2018, 12:25:27 pm
Had a fully-kitted squad of Legendary Hammerdwarves killing stuff in cavern 1 to pass time. Lost them all to one GCS
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HellTiger on July 13, 2018, 10:58:18 am
for the second time, in a second fort, i channeled out some arrow save space at the archer training range, over my dining hall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Troll_Kaiser177 on July 18, 2018, 07:10:44 pm
Tried out my first screw pump today. I feel like that's enough of a description for you guys.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on July 18, 2018, 07:29:52 pm
I bet it worked
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Troll_Kaiser177 on July 18, 2018, 07:46:46 pm
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on July 18, 2018, 07:29:52 pm
I bet it worked

Yeah it kinda worked like this https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/1887_Yellow_River_flood
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Foxite on July 19, 2018, 07:26:26 am
Several seasons ago I formed two more squads, and when their equipment was produced, I set their order to training.

Now, I noticed that neither of them had gained any skill, even though the first squad was already at least Skilled. The reason? I forgot to add their squads to the barracks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on July 20, 2018, 09:26:11 am
Quote from: Troll_Kaiser177 on July 18, 2018, 07:46:46 pm
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on July 18, 2018, 07:29:52 pm
I bet it worked

Yeah it kinda worked like this https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/1887_Yellow_River_flood
Quote
1887 Yellow River flood
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
For the man-induced flood, see 1938 Yellow River flood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tilmar13 on August 01, 2018, 11:21:20 am
Decided to open HFS. Forgot all my military dwarves were on a raid
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: HMD Majesty on August 02, 2018, 08:24:33 pm
I dropped a grate down an aquifer drain.

It landed in the lowest level of the aquifer, so now I'm down one grate.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on August 02, 2018, 10:01:09 pm
Quote from: Tilmar13 on August 01, 2018, 11:21:20 am
Decided to open HFS. Forgot all my military dwarves were on a raid

*Raid returns*

We have brought back the wealth of our target.  Wait, Urist seems to be taller than when we left. What gives?

*In a voice like the whisper of death* The fortress has been reclaimed!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tilmar13 on August 02, 2018, 11:03:20 pm
Quote from: Rockphed on August 02, 2018, 10:01:09 pm
Quote from: Tilmar13 on August 01, 2018, 11:21:20 am
Decided to open HFS. Forgot all my military dwarves were on a raid

*Raid returns*

We have brought back the wealth of our target.  Wait, Urist seems to be taller than when we left. What gives?

*In a voice like the whisper of death* The fortress has been reclaimed!

Haha, something like that. They came back in the middle of the onslaught and decided not to help.

*Raid returns*

Urist- Thank Armok you're here! We're under attack, please sa-
McAxeDwarf- No thanks, I have to wait for Vucar and the rest of the guys to come back.
Urist- But we're dying!
McAxeDwarf- We fight together or not at all

Then after everyone else got back they decided to drink and sleep for ages before looking for equipment and complaining it had all been burned while they were screwing around
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on August 03, 2018, 04:10:30 am
Quote from: Tilmar13 on August 02, 2018, 11:03:20 pm
Urist- Thank Armok you're here! We're under attack, please sa-
McAxeDwarf- No thanks, I have to wait for Vucar and the rest of the guys to come back.
Urist- But we're dying!
McAxeDwarf- We fight together or not at all

To sig this, or not to sig this.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: carewolf on August 03, 2018, 09:50:06 am
Quote from: Tilmar13 on August 02, 2018, 11:03:20 pm
Quote from: Rockphed on August 02, 2018, 10:01:09 pm
Quote from: Tilmar13 on August 01, 2018, 11:21:20 am
Decided to open HFS. Forgot all my military dwarves were on a raid

*Raid returns*

We have brought back the wealth of our target.  Wait, Urist seems to be taller than when we left. What gives?

*In a voice like the whisper of death* The fortress has been reclaimed!

Haha, something like that. They came back in the middle of the onslaught and decided not to help.

*Raid returns*

Urist- Thank Armok you're here! We're under attack, please sa-
McAxeDwarf- No thanks, I have to wait for Vucar and the rest of the guys to come back.
Urist- But we're dying!
McAxeDwarf- We fight together or not at all

Then after everyone else got back they decided to drink and sleep for ages before looking for equipment and complaining it had all been burned while they were screwing around

I have seen worse. The siege places itself in an odd position that just HAPPENS to be where my raid is returning... One dwarf at a time.... I lost half my elite soldiers that way.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tilmar13 on August 05, 2018, 08:17:09 pm
Well I've got a new facepalm today.

One of my siege defenses is a bunch of retracting spears in front of a few doors. During the siege I have a dwarf in a boxed in room just spamming that lever. It works well. The siege is broken and I send everyone to go pick up the scraps from the battle. And then I start getting messages about people being found dead. After the first few I think Oh, stupid dwarves. And then 5 more are found dead... Wait a second, what's going on?. 14 deaths later and I check the combat log. They are all shown fighting...copper...spears... I forgot to cancel the pull lever order. Dwarves have started tantruming now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Saiko Kila on August 07, 2018, 04:02:51 am
Quote from: Tilmar13 on August 05, 2018, 08:17:09 pm
One of my siege defenses is a bunch of retracting spears in front of a few doors. During the siege I have a dwarf in a boxed in room just spamming that lever. It works well. The siege is broken and I send everyone to go pick up the scraps from the battle. And then I start getting messages about people being found dead. After the first few I think Oh, stupid dwarves. And then 5 more are found dead... Wait a second, what's going on?. 14 deaths later and I check the combat log. They are all shown fighting...copper...spears... I forgot to cancel the pull lever order. Dwarves have started tantruming now.

Good the dwarves are too stupid to be angry at the level puller. In real life he would be doomed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on August 09, 2018, 12:25:43 pm
Quote from: Saiko Kila on August 07, 2018, 04:02:51 am
Quote from: Tilmar13 on August 05, 2018, 08:17:09 pm
One of my siege defenses is a bunch of retracting spears in front of a few doors. During the siege I have a dwarf in a boxed in room just spamming that lever. It works well. The siege is broken and I send everyone to go pick up the scraps from the battle. And then I start getting messages about people being found dead. After the first few I think Oh, stupid dwarves. And then 5 more are found dead... Wait a second, what's going on?. 14 deaths later and I check the combat log. They are all shown fighting...copper...spears... I forgot to cancel the pull lever order. Dwarves have started tantruming now.

Good the dwarves are too stupid to be angry at the level puller. In real life he would be doomed.
aswell as the one who forgot to tell him to stop.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Schmaven on August 15, 2018, 08:23:55 pm
More of a personal face-palm moment... My keyboard seemed to be broken, yet escape and enter still worked so I could save my fort.  Text pad then clued me in to the fact that CAPSLOCK WAS ON :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: New man on August 19, 2018, 05:00:13 am
Quote from: TubaDragoness on May 14, 2018, 07:07:54 pm
I just finished my raw edits in time for the new release. |:p

Use git, Luke!

You need to keep 2 branches: first is the vanilla DF changes, second is your raw changes. Every time DF releases, you need to commit vanilla changes in its branch, then merge it into your raw changes.

You can look my commits here, for example: https://github.com/AngelicosPhosphoros/AngelicosPhosphorosDFMod
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Larix on August 20, 2018, 10:02:30 am
I got annoyed with my dwarfs using the various metal cages imported animals had come in to re-load the cage traps in the third cavern (about twohundred tiles away), instead of the homemade wooden cages. So i ordered all loose metal cages brought to the depot and traded off for a symbolic lead bar.

Shortly before the caravan left (too short to get a dwarf to the depot), i checked the mandates again and noticed that our beloved duchess had declared an export ban. And the only items she cares about are of course cages. To make things more annoying, i had forgotten to remove the hammerer role when instituting the injustice system, so not only did five dwarfs get tied up on ropes for 76 days, eight dwarfs were sentenced to one hammerstrike each.

I solved the hammerstrike issue by unassigning the hammerer, but it was still stupid to try and export cages with a duchess with only that item preference.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Aelwen on August 20, 2018, 03:22:39 pm
My hammerer just killed my main medical dwarf. The only good dianostician in my fort. I gave her an admantine hammer! But she threw it away and took the heaviest gold one!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: carewolf on August 22, 2018, 05:02:03 am
Quote from: Larix on August 20, 2018, 10:02:30 am
I got annoyed with my dwarfs using the various metal cages imported animals had come in to re-load the cage traps in the third cavern (about twohundred tiles away), instead of the homemade wooden cages. So i ordered all loose metal cages brought to the depot and traded off for a symbolic lead bar.

Shortly before the caravan left (too short to get a dwarf to the depot), i checked the mandates again and noticed that our beloved duchess had declared an export ban. And the only items she cares about are of course cages. To make things more annoying, i had forgotten to remove the hammerer role when instituting the injustice system, so not only did five dwarfs get tied up on ropes for 76 days, eight dwarfs were sentenced to one hammerstrike each.

I solved the hammerstrike issue by unassigning the hammerer, but it was still stupid to try and export cages with a duchess with only that item preference.
If she likes cages so much, maybe you should be really nice to her and put her in one?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on August 23, 2018, 09:27:08 am
Quote from: carewolf on August 22, 2018, 05:02:03 am
Quote from: Larix on August 20, 2018, 10:02:30 am
I got annoyed with my dwarfs using the various metal cages imported animals had come in to re-load the cage traps in the third cavern (about twohundred tiles away), instead of the homemade wooden cages. So i ordered all loose metal cages brought to the depot and traded off for a symbolic lead bar.

Shortly before the caravan left (too short to get a dwarf to the depot), i checked the mandates again and noticed that our beloved duchess had declared an export ban. And the only items she cares about are of course cages. To make things more annoying, i had forgotten to remove the hammerer role when instituting the injustice system, so not only did five dwarfs get tied up on ropes for 76 days, eight dwarfs were sentenced to one hammerstrike each.

I solved the hammerstrike issue by unassigning the hammerer, but it was still stupid to try and export cages with a duchess with only that item preference.
If she likes cages so much, maybe you should be really nice to her and put her in one?
is that a legit option? ^^ maybe she is into such kinky stuff...
awaiting the psychology update with fetishes :D lol nope, that would be too much :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Tartlman on August 26, 2018, 09:59:02 am
Probably the dumbest thing i've ever done is designate an area, SUSPENDED OVER THE DINING HALL, to be channeled all at once.

oof
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on August 26, 2018, 10:43:42 am
I've been playing DF nearly 10 years at this point.

I just drowned half my fortress.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dozebm Lolumzals on August 27, 2018, 12:33:41 pm
Forgot about water pressure?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on August 28, 2018, 02:00:22 am
Actually no, I thought that underground lakes would suck up any water I threw into them. One of them was my designated drinking spot.

And a brook powered waterfall thawed before I got the last floodgate in.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RWARO_GNARL on August 28, 2018, 10:56:35 am
Had just got twelve dwarves went though injustice system because the mayor decided to ban the export of large gems AFTER the our broker had just unloaded five years worth of large gems to the Autumn caravan.

I thought we were 'safe' because the mayor mandated the construction of 3 large gems at the time of trading. I thought it would take a while to make that many large gems and there should be enough gap before the annoying mayor ban the export again. Nope, that mayor really really love large gems.

I should've atom crushed those damn gems.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on August 28, 2018, 06:17:43 pm
I recommend atom crushing the mayor. Less loss of profit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RWARO_GNARL on August 28, 2018, 08:36:08 pm
I'd rather not have new mayor. Large gem is manageable. A new mayor could be even more troublesome.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: scourge728 on August 28, 2018, 08:38:49 pm
Or it could be someone with NO item preferences
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RWARO_GNARL on August 28, 2018, 10:03:09 pm
Hmm, that's true. I have enough dwarves to 'reroll' anyway.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on August 29, 2018, 02:32:50 pm
Here's the thing: crush that mayor, too.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Cracklebones on August 31, 2018, 12:42:03 am
I decided for the first time in all my forts to train up a Marksdwarf Squad. Built my upper fortress around this concept. It actually came out looking much like a three tiered version of the standard fortresses main floor to a point.  The main floor was raised up two z-levels. I had alternating fortifications and walls along with two entrance gates. Trained up my usual squads of 8 axedwarves, 8 hammerdwarves along with 8 marksdwarves.

My First siege of goblinite decided to show up after some much do "encouragement" on my part [they where busy being at peace with us due to being so preoccupied with being at war with everyone but us. So I "fixed" that with some active "tourism" after some relatively boring starting years.] Set all my squads to guard the first floor and close the gates. Only I got to watch a little over half of my marksdwarves [the others finding every plausible task to evade their station order from, collecting ammo one bolt at a time, to praying to the deity of darkness and plants.] offensively dodge towards the one goblin crossbowman's fire falling down two z-levels to face all fourty invading goblins one dwarf at a time.

I still haven't tested out my wall grating plus fortification remodel in favor of my highly effective normal squad layout along with all my other tiny projects... I realize why movies didn't use marksdwarves...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on August 31, 2018, 04:29:31 pm
They used to work!

For now I have had to resort to literally locking them in a 1x1 pillbox pointed at the enemy with lots of ammo in their quiver/inside the pillbox.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dozebm Lolumzals on September 03, 2018, 09:08:33 am
Defend burrow still works for me, but I still have Pick Up Equipment tasks even then. Is there a way to disallow picking up equipment?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on September 03, 2018, 10:52:13 am
Couple. Make all spare equipment inaccessible. Or maybe do fire drills to ensure everyone has proper equipment?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Saiko Kila on September 04, 2018, 09:56:33 am
Quote from: Dozebm Lolumzals on September 03, 2018, 09:08:33 am
Is there a way to disallow picking up equipment?

One way is to have different storage rooms for different ammo. I have one with metal masterwork bolts, which I unlock only in big sieges, or rather - unforbid the bolts, in a quantum stockpile, because the room itself is usually available for makers. The storage and others can be locked when needed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on September 04, 2018, 11:43:38 am
QSPing to behind door would have the advantage of not having unforbidden bolts lie there until you can get time to forbid them, I suppose, at the cost of greater infrastructure demands.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on September 04, 2018, 02:29:35 pm
Quote from: Fleeting Frames on September 04, 2018, 11:43:38 am
QSPing to behind door would have the advantage of not having unforbidden bolts lie there until you can get time to forbid them, I suppose, at the cost of greater infrastructure demands.
what is QSPing?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ziusudra on September 04, 2018, 08:05:41 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on September 04, 2018, 02:29:35 pm
what is QSPing?
Quantum Stock Pile - dumping items onto a single stockpile square.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dozebm Lolumzals on September 04, 2018, 10:00:28 pm
Perhaps there's a reason why people say to forbid outside items during an attack... *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on September 05, 2018, 01:38:45 am
I finally find water on the third cavern level.

3 dwarfs die of dehydration on the way there.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on September 05, 2018, 06:32:31 am
Quote from: Japa on September 05, 2018, 01:38:45 am
I finally find water on the third cavern level.

3 dwarfs die of dehydration on the way there.

Why were you trying to have your dwarfs drink water?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on September 05, 2018, 08:37:09 am
Quote from: Ziusudra on September 04, 2018, 08:05:41 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on September 04, 2018, 02:29:35 pm
what is QSPing?
Quantum Stock Pile - dumping items onto a single stockpile square.
Thanks... i always confuse the acronyms.

Quote from: Rockphed on September 05, 2018, 06:32:31 am
Quote from: Japa on September 05, 2018, 01:38:45 am
I finally find water on the third cavern level.

3 dwarfs die of dehydration on the way there.

Why were you trying to have your dwarfs drink water?
my dorfs always die by dehydration even if i have something to drink - they somehow seem to need water...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Mort Stroodle on September 07, 2018, 01:59:39 am
In my previous fort I set a garbage dump next to a pit into the magma sea, so I could get rid of corpses. What did not occur to me was that, if there are multiple drops adjacent to the dump zone, the dwarves don't know where to throw the garbage, and choose at random. So the up ramp that led directly up to the dump zone, and was the only access route to the dump, was fair game to throw the garbage at. So one of my dwarves hauled a rock all the way to the big pit of lava, climbed up the ramp to bring it right to the edge, then threw it back behind him, killing the next dwarf trying to dump garbage.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Senator Jim Death on September 08, 2018, 11:37:39 pm
I'm making a little tunnel to aqueduct river water to an underground well. I dig my dumb ass a stack of up/down staircases just under a river, and set up a nice system of bridges and doors to control where the water goes. I even set up a pressure plate in the cistern so that the water shuts off before it starts to flood the well. It works swimmingly; literally, my miner's able to channel the river from below, then run away through the door before the water gets to him.

So far, it works great, except that it's taking forever to fill. I only notice this after letting it run a while. Why is it taking so long?

It's taking so long because I used an up/down staircase on the bottom of the stack, like an idiot, and it's flooding my trap tunnels that are just below it. I discover this once I already have one level of tunnel full of water. "Where's all that water flowing in from?" YAFacepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on September 09, 2018, 12:20:06 am
Quote from: Rockphed on September 05, 2018, 06:32:31 am
Quote from: Japa on September 05, 2018, 01:38:45 am
I finally find water on the third cavern level.

3 dwarfs die of dehydration on the way there.

Why were you trying to have your dwarfs drink water?

I keep forgetting about booze.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Astrid on September 09, 2018, 09:55:43 am
Quote from: Japa on September 09, 2018, 12:20:06 am
I keep forgetting about booze.
Make a random head a Manager if it hasnt been the case already, that should open you the manager menu that allows you to set a standing order that keeps so and so much alcohol in the fortress at all times and auto orders production if ot goes below that.

Dwarfes without Beer, poor poor things....the nightmare, the horrible horrible nigthmare for those poor souls...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rose on September 09, 2018, 09:32:45 pm
I actually did do that, but I forgot about barrels :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TD1 on September 10, 2018, 05:39:20 am
Wait, you can do that?.... how??
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Ulfarr on September 11, 2018, 12:14:41 pm
"An evil cloud has drifted nearby!"

Another one? Meh, I 'm not going to burrow my dwarves this time. None of the previous clouds ever came near the fortress and we really are behind the schedule.

::Half a minute later::

"Your fortress has crumbled"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Quicunque on September 13, 2018, 09:28:06 am
15 months into a new fortress, doing well, population up to 58 with 2 military squads. Just built St. Sibrek's Fortress Hospital, close to the surface so that the injured can reach it quickly, fully equipped with 6 beds, 2 tractions, 2 operating tables, soap crafting, all the trimmings. There's even a nice well in the hospital for ease of patient care & a deep cistern under the well, fed by an aquifer.

So, it's time to cut the ribbon on the shiny, new hospital... pierce the aquifer to fill the cistern. No worries, there is a drawbridge hooked up to a lever to stop the water flow once the cistern fills. Lever pulled at the perfect time... wait!, the water is still flowing!, the hospital is flooding!, all the lower levels are under water, with many soggy corpses sealed in their watery graves.

The drawbridge was built to retract, not raise. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on September 13, 2018, 12:41:00 pm
Only 6 beds won't hold even a single squad caught in an accident/AoE weapon. Build a new hospital, and make it even better! [size=8]Flooding can be a optional feature, not bug, for werebeasts.[/size]
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on September 13, 2018, 01:40:17 pm
Quote from: Fleeting Frames on September 13, 2018, 12:41:00 pm
Only 6 beds won't hold even a single squad caught in an accident/AoE weapon. Build a new hospital, and make it even better! [size=8]Flooding can be a optional feature, not bug, for werebeasts.[/size]
my hospital was 27x27 with 24 beds and 8 traction benches and 4 OP tables. it never got finished properly.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Quicunque on September 13, 2018, 03:32:13 pm
Chapter 2:

I build a carbon copy of the submerged hospital. This time I test the drawbridge before I connect the 2nd cistern to the 1st. Works perfectly. I send my Legendary Miner, one of the Seven founders, to knock out that last rock to connect the cisterns. I figure she could do the job quickly enough to run up the ramp & through the door to safety...

Never realized how powerful water pressure can be (*facepalm*). The 2nd cistern fills nearly instantly, drowning poor Etur Mistemadas. Now her body is permanently sealed into the cistern.

At least the hospital is finished.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TD1 on September 17, 2018, 06:46:18 am
As with everything, production required a death sacrifice.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: RWARO_GNARL on September 18, 2018, 08:55:26 pm
I found a kid in hospital with mangled left hand. So, I looked around for blood.

Found blood spattering in the minecart repeater room, on the track, and a dwarf trying to scrub it off, but failed because the minecart interrupted him.

The cleaning dwarf then decided a minecart repeater track is a good place to take a nap. Before the minecart was stopped...

The dwarf survived.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: snow dwarf on September 20, 2018, 05:58:18 am
Wants to build a dwarven Alhambra with bricks.
Has 8 dwarfs making bricks non stop.
-300 bricks later-
Finds out bricks aren't red.
*facepalm*
Alhambra is going to look wooden.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on September 20, 2018, 10:01:41 am
You could mod to change that. Though I think the clay bricks come in shades of gray.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on September 20, 2018, 11:50:25 am
Quote from: Fleeting Frames on September 20, 2018, 10:01:41 am
You could mod to change that. Though I think the clay bricks come in shades of gray.
<insert joke about a popular overrated BDSM-fantasy-novel here> :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Fleeting Frames on September 20, 2018, 01:12:59 pm
Only three shades, there. Even Dragonmaster's set has only like twenty shades, half of them unsuitable for building.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dowly on September 21, 2018, 07:19:53 am
Whenever I start a new fort, I like to name the first seven, usually using some dwarven name generator.

In my current fort, I chose the name 'Lavaminer' for one of my starting miners. He became legendary among his peers.

One day, 'Lavaminer' Asmelethab was digging deep underground when he came across a wall that felt suspiciously warm.

As he was about to turn around and head back up he heard a cryptic voice in his head: "(d)-(d)".

Shortly after, a craftsdwarf heard an equally cryptic voice: "alt+s"

(I'm an idiot)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Eschar on September 30, 2018, 11:39:40 am
Quote from: Dowly on September 21, 2018, 07:19:53 am
As he was about to turn around and head back up he heard a cryptic voice in his head: "(d)-(d)".

Shortly after, a craftsdwarf heard an equally cryptic voice: "alt+s"

Now I want to believe this is how dwarfs get their orders.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Senator Jim Death on September 30, 2018, 03:15:56 pm
Quote from: Eschar on September 30, 2018, 11:39:40 am
Quote from: Dowly on September 21, 2018, 07:19:53 am
As he was about to turn around and head back up he heard a cryptic voice in his head: "(d)-(d)".

Shortly after, a craftsdwarf heard an equally cryptic voice: "alt+s"

Now I want to believe this is how dwarfs get their orders.

Makes sense. I guess insane dwarves stop taking orders because they've decided to listen to one of the other voices in their heads. Maybe THIS voice won't have me go dig into the mag--"go dive into the magma"--Urist McMelancholy burned to death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Truncatedurist on October 13, 2018, 06:26:16 pm
went 7 months into fortress didn't smelt anything until I found the magma sea.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on October 14, 2018, 06:03:21 am
used marking mode channel designations to mark where my roads shall go... later found a boulder in the path and designated smooting - which activated that tile for channeling. so the caravan's wagons went by without going to my depot :(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: doublestrafe on October 24, 2018, 01:10:46 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on October 14, 2018, 06:03:21 am
used marking mode channel designations to mark where my roads shall go... later found a boulder in the path and designated smooting - which activated that tile for channeling. so the caravan's wagons went by without going to my depot :(
My latest caravan got almost all the way to my depot, with two wagons not quite there yet, and then stopped in its tracks for no discernable reason.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on October 24, 2018, 05:25:29 pm
Quote from: doublestrafe on October 24, 2018, 01:10:46 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on October 14, 2018, 06:03:21 am
used marking mode channel designations to mark where my roads shall go... later found a boulder in the path and designated smooting - which activated that tile for channeling. so the caravan's wagons went by without going to my depot :(
My latest caravan got almost all the way to my depot, with two wagons not quite there yet, and then stopped in its tracks for no discernable reason.

Did a tree grow somewhere on its path suddenly or a wall get finished that blocked their path?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: doublestrafe on October 24, 2018, 07:32:15 pm
Quote from: Rockphed on October 24, 2018, 05:25:29 pm
Quote from: doublestrafe on October 24, 2018, 01:10:46 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on October 14, 2018, 06:03:21 am
used marking mode channel designations to mark where my roads shall go... later found a boulder in the path and designated smooting - which activated that tile for channeling. so the caravan's wagons went by without going to my depot :(
My latest caravan got almost all the way to my depot, with two wagons not quite there yet, and then stopped in its tracks for no discernable reason.

Did a tree grow somewhere on its path suddenly or a wall get finished that blocked their path?
Nope, the depot's still accessible. I should make a road, though, it's pretty foresty.

In other facepalm news, I just learned that I actually have two Baronesses named Stinthd...and I convicted the wrong one for punching my legendary mechanic to death. Twice. Oh well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TD1 on October 25, 2018, 07:30:47 am
Caravans have done that to me before; I've had to kill a few to get them to move.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on October 25, 2018, 11:37:35 am
embarked on THE PERFECT SPOT.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
and then i find out we have peace with the gobbos, trehuggers, humans and after the first werebeast only animals wandered to the spot.
it's the first time my fort is ready for an assault and none happening.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Astrid on October 25, 2018, 12:34:56 pm
I dont see the problem. Need a war? Start one. Go and raid those gobbos. :p
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on October 25, 2018, 12:59:54 pm
Quote from: Astrid on October 25, 2018, 12:34:56 pm
I dont see the problem. Need a war? Start one. Go and raid those gobbos. :p
need to learn "how to military" first.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on October 25, 2018, 03:29:28 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on October 25, 2018, 12:59:54 pm
Quote from: Astrid on October 25, 2018, 12:34:56 pm
I dont see the problem. Need a war? Start one. Go and raid those gobbos. :p
need to learn "how to military" first.

This sounds like the perfect opportunity!  Train up a couple squads in weapons, then give them orders to go "rescue" an artifact from the goblins.  Eventually the goblins will get fed up and attack.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Truncatedurist on October 28, 2018, 03:28:23 pm
I enabled autolabor everybody was a woodcutter
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dozebm Lolumzals on October 29, 2018, 07:40:15 pm
Are you sure thats not okay?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: that cat on November 02, 2018, 04:55:27 pm
Hey, my first post!

I had a major facepalm moment very recently.  Previously I have managed to never embark in a cold region, which was never by design.  It just happened that the forts I made managed to never experience the grips of winter, usually due to having the perfect balance of resources.  Anyway I was so busy smoothing and engraving walls after no less than three dwarves had claimed themselves as barons and another king in the past two seasons, I forgot to keep our drink stock up.  You probably know what happened...  this took place in mid-autumn and it was so bad by late autumn  -  when all the water outdoors was frozen over - that most of my dwarves were dehydrated.  My eyes glossed over their dehydration for too long, I was focusing on the fort design you know, and about 20 out of 60 died.  I set to brewing quickly, but brewers kept stopping due to grief.  When the ice receded...  you can be sure that everything halted to get drinks from the water.  They drank so much that one spot, a small pond, couldn't provide any more water.  They then rushed to the edge of the other water sources.  I imagined it was beautiful in their eyes nonetheless.  The Winter of Death is over, and the springs have returned.

It was heartbreaking to lose some of my favorites in the military and upper management.  At least two of the barons died, but the pesky king survived.  It was completely my fault, and now I'm much more proactive to keep our stores high.  I also have got to make sure I have a contingency plan.

A side-note about the king:  when all these barons and baronesses were springing up, he only proclaimed himself king after a friendly discussion with a rival.  I wonder if being noble was simply fashionable.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Silverlock on November 06, 2018, 08:09:03 pm
Quote from: that cat on November 02, 2018, 04:55:27 pm
I set to brewing quickly, but brewers kept stopping due to grief.

These are Dwarves?  They have brought shame upon their families, or what family that may have survived.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GenericUser on November 13, 2018, 08:42:37 pm
The Good News is that the !!DEFENCE!! system worked. The bad news is that there was a leak.

The (3) survivors are now stuck in an office while the control lever is under 7/7 magma on the other side of the fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Loud Whispers on November 13, 2018, 09:14:40 pm
Quote from: GenericUser on November 13, 2018, 08:42:37 pm
The Good News is that the !!DEFENCE!! system worked. The bad news is that there was a leak.

The (3) survivors are now stuck in an office while the control lever is under 7/7 magma on the other side of the fort.
Can they survive in there? If so, they are now your bureaucrat colony
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Rockphed on November 15, 2018, 01:20:43 am
Quote from: GenericUser on November 13, 2018, 08:42:37 pm
The Good News is that the !!DEFENCE!! system worked. The bad news is that there was a leak.

The (3) survivors are now stuck in an office while the control lever is under 7/7 magma on the other side of the fort.

Is the magma contained, or is it slowly spreading out to cover the rest of the landscape?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: GenericUser on November 15, 2018, 08:26:34 pm
Quote from: Rockphed on November 15, 2018, 01:20:43 am
Quote from: GenericUser on November 13, 2018, 08:42:37 pm
The Good News is that the !!DEFENCE!! system worked. The bad news is that there was a leak.

The (3) survivors are now stuck in an office while the control lever is under 7/7 magma on the other side of the fort.

Is the magma contained, or is it slowly spreading out to cover the rest of the landscape?

I may or may not have tapped into a volcano for this. And a stone office with a now tantruming farmer is not the best place to hide. I give them a month before they all starve.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bloop_bleep on November 16, 2018, 09:52:09 pm
Quote from: GenericUser on November 15, 2018, 08:26:34 pm
Quote from: Rockphed on November 15, 2018, 01:20:43 am
Quote from: GenericUser on November 13, 2018, 08:42:37 pm
The Good News is that the !!DEFENCE!! system worked. The bad news is that there was a leak.

The (3) survivors are now stuck in an office while the control lever is under 7/7 magma on the other side of the fort.

Is the magma contained, or is it slowly spreading out to cover the rest of the landscape?

I may or may not have tapped into a volcano for this. And a stone office with a now tantruming farmer is not the best place to hide. I give them a month before they all starve.
Is there a pick in there? Or a metal bar along with any other building material? Or a piece of ore and a piece of coal?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bumber on November 17, 2018, 04:55:48 am
Quote from: bloop_bleep on November 16, 2018, 09:52:09 pm
Is there a pick in there? Or a metal bar along with any other building material? Or a piece of ore and a piece of coal?
You can't get around needing an anvil for a forge.

There's always the chance migrants will show up in time, with possible access to picks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: brotundbutter on November 20, 2018, 01:17:21 am
Less a reaction to something the game did and more a reaction to myself. Setting up my first fortress ever, I've heard horror stories from other players about goblins rushing in and slaughtering everyone before they could get their military or defenses set up. Naturally I tried to make getting my fortress fortified priority one, but things kept getting in the way. Werebeasts keep showing up, my first moody dwarf goes berserk because I can't figure out what he wants, and I miss my first caravan because I didn't get my trading depot set up in time. The years tick by without any substantial progress on defending my fortress and I start getting more and more nervous about goblins descending upon my poor dwarves. I finally get around to setting up my military, but I worry that it won't be enough since I have no idea what I'm up against.

Eventually I accidentally happen upon the civilizations tab (again, very new to this game!). Fascinated by all the information that I didn't know existed, I spend a few minutes getting more familiar with the races and civilizations of my world. Guess what civilization isn't present.

There are no goblins whatsoever in my entire world. I've been worrying myself sick over nothing this whole time.  ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Saiko Kila on November 21, 2018, 04:07:45 pm
No goblins at all? That means some genocide. I wonder who did it - humans or elves.

Anyway, the most dangerous goblins are those past their expiration date. They may still be there somewhere.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bralbaard on November 22, 2018, 01:25:59 pm
I embarked on a volcano only to find out that the volcano crater is already occupied by a kobold colony (probably my most interesting embark site ever). There are kobold tunnels and structures both in and above the magma, and while some are flooded most of the submerged tunnels are fine and inhabited by kobolds. As a result the crater has a number of "floating" platforms that are part of the kobold colony. The kobold colony is cut of from the outside world by magma, and most kobolds hide deep in their fortress. The platforms are not accessible to me and there is no threat of immediate conflict. I manage to set up a starting fortress in a separate kobold tunnel that is accessible to me, but not too the kobolds, allowing me to quickly move my food underground.

This is when the face palm happens. Three purified goblins show up only weeks after embark (goblin spellcasters, lands of duality mod). They attack my kobold neighbours but out of precaution I order my dwarves underground in a safe burrow. Do they obey their orders, and hide in safety in the designated area?

No, of course not! Three dwarves immediately run into the volcanic caldera and start climbing the volcano walls from the inside, right above the boiling magma. A few kobolds meanwhile have emerged from their fortress and are now on the platforms fighting the purified goblins. I try to calm down, thinking that the goblins and kobolds will kill eachother and that my dwarves will come to their senses, and will head for the burrow eventually. Obviously that will happen, right?

No. Instead of being sensible all three dwarves climb the caldera walls until they are near the platforms, then jump over several tiles of magma right into the middle of the kobold fortress. They are completely unarmed and now find themselves battling two enemy forces, on a narrow ledge right in the middle of a boiling lava lake.

(https://i.imgur.com/D0LY42R.png)

I do not have to explain that this ended very poorly.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Silverlock on November 22, 2018, 08:42:38 pm
That is amazing.  You must -- must! -- become a Bond supervillain and create your lair in this most supervillain-lairish of places. 

"No, Mr. Urist.  I expect you to die."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: brotundbutter on November 22, 2018, 09:32:08 pm
Edit: doubleposting on a different thread entirely? Amazing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bralbaard on November 23, 2018, 06:19:06 am
Quote from: Silverlock on November 22, 2018, 08:42:38 pm
That is amazing.  You must -- must! -- become a Bond supervillain and create your lair in this most supervillain-lairish of places. 

"No, Mr. Urist.  I expect you to die."

Yes. I indeed have plans for this location. First plan is a tavern in the crater, with a dance floor made out of either glass or grates, so that the magma is clearly visible. Might include a secret trapdoor as well. Then when that is finished I want a multi-level magma-fall in the tavern. I'll  test it when the tavern is only accessible to outside visitors, and am greatly looking forward to that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Bralbaard on November 26, 2018, 05:19:51 pm
Still the same fortress, first year, but a new facepalm. I had not expected the site to be completely devoid of trees or other plant life.
I did not prepare for such a situation either: I brought no seeds or wood. For some mysterious reason my wagon also deconstructed on embark without leaving any wood. I do not want to breach the caverns yet because I've got the "what lurks below" mod installed, and frankly, the caverns scare me.
I'll manage but my dwarves are throwing tantrums for not having beds to sleep in, and the whole situation is kind of tense, so a solution would be welcome.

Imagine my surprise when I boot up stonesense and see a rather large green area between the dry sand on one of the steep mountains in a corner of the map that I had not noticed before. I immediately scroll to the area in DF, already making plans about what I'll do with the food and plants that I'll harvest..... only to find the mountainside is covered in vomit instead of plants. ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on November 26, 2018, 06:30:07 pm
1) Work gets new internet backup
2) Need to test it after everyone has left
3) Call the company that does it, tell them to shut off regular internet for test
4) Was calling them on my desk phone. Desk phone needs internet to work.
5) beep beep beep beep
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dutrius on November 27, 2018, 01:41:30 pm
I once discovered a volcano next to a large lake and decided to embark on it. Upon embark, I un-pause and the game instantly pauses to inform me of a cave-in.

Turns out the volcano wasn't actually next to the lake. It was one layer directly underneath the lake. "A section of the cavern has collapsed." x1000.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: therahedwig on November 27, 2018, 01:51:30 pm
So... the first hour of this fort is spent by you playing solitaire while df sorts itself out?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dutrius on November 27, 2018, 01:54:56 pm
More like an hour of hitting the space bar to unpause the game after each tick.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: therahedwig on November 27, 2018, 02:09:05 pm
Yikes.

You can actually modify the pause behaviour by modifying the announcement.txt(just remove the :P:R from Cave Collapse), but maybe you've gotten through it already...?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bloop_bleep on November 28, 2018, 12:32:30 am
I think the cave collapse on repeat is being caused by the water from the river flowing into the volcano, making obsidian, which then collapses to the bottom of the volcano. I don't think it will stop unless you manage to plug the hole somehow. I would really suggest doing what therahedwig suggested, in that case.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dutrius on November 28, 2018, 07:00:08 am
Yeah, it eventually plugged itself up and I was able to actually get stuff done.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: OmahaMH on November 28, 2018, 11:29:53 am
Excavated an expansive dining hall ~20x20 tiles, two barracks at 10x10, a 10x10 hospital, and a separate 20x20 area to move future workshops to a more organized place.  Spent months constructing rock blocks of a certain type so that I could have nice floors and walls that all matched.  Spent tons of construction time...  only to realize I had forgotten about smoothing, which could be done for free, immediately after excavation because the entire layer is one type of rock anyway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Gentlefish on November 28, 2018, 12:40:03 pm
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on November 26, 2018, 06:30:07 pm
1) Work gets new internet backup
2) Need to test it after everyone has left
3) Call the company that does it, tell them to shut off regular internet for test
4) Was calling them on my desk phone. Desk phone needs internet to work.
5) beep beep beep beep
Definitely a facepalm, but this is the DF Discussion board my friend.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on December 03, 2018, 09:21:46 pm
Quote from: Gentlefish on November 28, 2018, 12:40:03 pm
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on November 26, 2018, 06:30:07 pm
1) Work gets new internet backup
2) Need to test it after everyone has left
3) Call the company that does it, tell them to shut off regular internet for test
4) Was calling them on my desk phone. Desk phone needs internet to work.
5) beep beep beep beep
Definitely a facepalm, but this is the DF Discussion board my friend.

It's every time with me, isn't it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pikachu17 on December 06, 2018, 03:11:40 pm
This threads title really needs to make clear it is only for DF...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: TD1 on December 06, 2018, 03:55:57 pm
Well, it is on a DF board.

And it's only one person getting it wrong consistently XD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: pikachu17 on December 06, 2018, 05:51:09 pm
I've gotten it wrong at least twice, and I am pretty sure lot's of people make the mistake once.
You would only have to add an "in DF" at the end of the title to make it clear.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Silverlock on December 06, 2018, 10:44:55 pm
I enjoy the non-DF facepalms anyway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on December 07, 2018, 01:05:13 am
Quote from: Silverlock on December 06, 2018, 10:44:55 pm
I enjoy the non-DF facepalms anyway.
same here.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: bloop_bleep on December 07, 2018, 08:25:00 pm
Tis okay, Duna, I gotchu. (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=172744)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on December 15, 2018, 12:07:57 pm
Quote from: bloop_bleep on December 07, 2018, 08:25:00 pm
Tis okay, Duna, I gotchu. (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=172744)
:D
this made me laugh, as much as it made me facepalm when reading about this book, the caravan brought:
"This is a well-crafted wolf parchment scroll. It is decorated with chestnut. The rollers are made from cinnabar. On the item is an image of a anvil in native platinum.
Written on the item is a manual entitled A Course on Isosceles Triangles, authored by Ustuth Godbuilds. It concerns the equality of the base angle of isosceles triangles. The writing overflows with sadness. overall the prose is passable."

It is a mathbook -  The writing overflows with sadness :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on December 15, 2018, 12:53:42 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on December 15, 2018, 12:07:57 pm
Quote from: bloop_bleep on December 07, 2018, 08:25:00 pm
Tis okay, Duna, I gotchu. (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=172744)
:D
this made me laugh, as much as it made me facepalm when reading about this book, the caravan brought:
"This is a well-crafted wolf parchment scroll. It is decorated with chestnut. The rollers are made from cinnabar. On the item is an image of a anvil in native platinum.
Written on the item is a manual entitled A Course on Isosceles Triangles, authored by Ustuth Godbuilds. It concerns the equality of the base angle of isosceles triangles. The writing overflows with sadness. overall the prose is passable."

It is a mathbook -  The writing overflows with sadness :D

Thus with an axis of symmetry, I die.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on December 15, 2018, 05:36:13 pm
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on December 15, 2018, 12:53:42 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on December 15, 2018, 12:07:57 pm
Quote from: bloop_bleep on December 07, 2018, 08:25:00 pm
Tis okay, Duna, I gotchu. (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=172744)
:D
this made me laugh, as much as it made me facepalm when reading about this book, the caravan brought:
"This is a well-crafted wolf parchment scroll. It is decorated with chestnut. The rollers are made from cinnabar. On the item is an image of a anvil in native platinum.
Written on the item is a manual entitled A Course on Isosceles Triangles, authored by Ustuth Godbuilds. It concerns the equality of the base angle of isosceles triangles. The writing overflows with sadness. overall the prose is passable."

It is a mathbook -  The writing overflows with sadness :D

Thus with an axis of symmetry, I die.
well, to some maths is pure agony - so that could be the reason too :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Dunamisdeos on December 15, 2018, 06:09:10 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on December 15, 2018, 05:36:13 pm
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on December 15, 2018, 12:53:42 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on December 15, 2018, 12:07:57 pm
Quote from: bloop_bleep on December 07, 2018, 08:25:00 pm
Tis okay, Duna, I gotchu. (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=172744)
:D
this made me laugh, as much as it made me facepalm when reading about this book, the caravan brought:
"This is a well-crafted wolf parchment scroll. It is decorated with chestnut. The rollers are made from cinnabar. On the item is an image of a anvil in native platinum.
Written on the item is a manual entitled A Course on Isosceles Triangles, authored by Ustuth Godbuilds. It concerns the equality of the base angle of isosceles triangles. The writing overflows with sadness. overall the prose is passable."

It is a mathbook -  The writing overflows with sadness :D

Thus with an axis of symmetry, I die.
well, to some maths is pure agony - so that could be the reason too :D

There's a boss in FFXIV that asks you math questions as a battle mechanic. They helpfully put a note on the ground before the boss arena listing prime numbers.

Fu** you, mathsbot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had
Post by: Felius on December 18, 2018, 07:21:36 pm
Quote from: pikachu17 on December 06, 2018, 03:11:40 pm
This threads title really needs to make clear it is only for DF...
But it does.  :P

Seriously though, sure, why not?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Eschar on December 18, 2018, 08:33:52 pm
I modded a race in, and discovered giving them the symbol "N" was a bad idea: I almost choked when I started adventure mode surrounded by what I assumed were night creatures.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: weiserthanyou on December 18, 2018, 11:39:37 pm
Quote from: Eschar on December 18, 2018, 08:33:52 pm
I modded a race in, and discovered giving them the symbol "N" was a bad idea: I almost choked when I started adventure mode surrounded by what I assumed were night creatures.
just change it to & and make them peaceful citizens of the third cavern layer magma sea.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Dunamisdeos on December 19, 2018, 08:18:41 pm
I don't know if I've posted this before, but one time I tried to recreate Colossus from the X-men in DF via modding, and I went through a period where not only was JUST his skin was made of the proper material, but also he vomited actual magma at regular, unprompted intervals. I never figured out what I did to make that happen, after I messed with the materials and got his tissues straight he stopped.

My facepalm is first of all making that modding mistake and second not saving that raw as-was because that was pretty awesome.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: bloop_bleep on December 19, 2018, 08:22:16 pm
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on December 19, 2018, 08:18:41 pm
I don't know if I've posted this before, but one time I tried to recreate Colossus from the X-men in DF via modding, and I went through a period where not only was JUST his skin was made of the proper material, but also he vomited actual magma at regular, unprompted intervals. I never figured out what I did to make that happen, after I messed with the materials and got his tissues straight he stopped.

My facepalm is first of all making that modding mistake and second not saving that raw as-was because that was pretty awesome.

Whenever DF doesn't recognize a material, it just replaces it with the default material INORGANIC:NONE, which is magma. It's pretty great.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Dunamisdeos on December 19, 2018, 08:39:43 pm
Quote from: bloop_bleep on December 19, 2018, 08:22:16 pm
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on December 19, 2018, 08:18:41 pm
I don't know if I've posted this before, but one time I tried to recreate Colossus from the X-men in DF via modding, and I went through a period where not only was JUST his skin was made of the proper material, but also he vomited actual magma at regular, unprompted intervals. I never figured out what I did to make that happen, after I messed with the materials and got his tissues straight he stopped.

My facepalm is first of all making that modding mistake and second not saving that raw as-was because that was pretty awesome.

Whenever DF doesn't recognize a material, it just replaces it with the default material INORGANIC:NONE, which is magma. It's pretty great.

Yes but why was he vomiting. It was at all times, for no reason. I didn't know that it replaced with magma though, that really is great.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: weiserthanyou on December 21, 2018, 10:52:30 am
Quote from: bloop_bleep on December 19, 2018, 08:22:16 pm
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on December 19, 2018, 08:18:41 pm
I don't know if I've posted this before, but one time I tried to recreate Colossus from the X-men in DF via modding, and I went through a period where not only was JUST his skin was made of the proper material, but also he vomited actual magma at regular, unprompted intervals. I never figured out what I did to make that happen, after I messed with the materials and got his tissues straight he stopped.

My facepalm is first of all making that modding mistake and second not saving that raw as-was because that was pretty awesome.

Whenever DF doesn't recognize a material, it just replaces it with the default material INORGANIC:NONE, which is magma. It's pretty great.
Where in the raws can I change the vomit material to magma? This will be fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: TD1 on December 21, 2018, 11:03:59 am
"I'm fine, it's just some heart burn"
Bystanders: "EVACUATE THE AREA!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: weiserthanyou on December 21, 2018, 11:20:10 am
Quote from: Th4DwArfY1 on December 21, 2018, 11:03:59 am
"I'm fine, it's just some heart burn"
Bystanders: "EVACUATE THE AREA!"
even funnier in the mess hall. Which may or may not be located outdoors just to mess with the miners.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: delphonso on January 01, 2019, 08:16:45 am
I can't count the number of times I've Pulled the Lever to reveal my bridge was a retracting bridge instead of a draw bridge - usually over flat ground...

Just recently, I rushed the beginning of a fort in a hostile environment. Frustrated, I stared at crops dying in their fields as I disabled the labors on everyone except farming and watched in unending frustration as they milled about the fort doing nothing.

Real issue: forgot to set a stockpile for food. .___.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nezclaw on January 12, 2019, 11:38:46 am
oh, so you DON'T need to set up some gear assembly bs to power multiple millstones from one windmill? heck.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Imic on January 12, 2019, 06:21:57 pm
Get everyone inside! Now!
... Wait whys there a hole in the wall.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: thatroleplayerGal on January 12, 2019, 08:49:53 pm
g Settling on top of a lair. Near instant death. A few ghosts later and my dwarves are safe underground, and I'm thinking "oh, I'll just get them some weapons and kill the night troll." Turns out, Fortress Mode night trolls don't like going back inside their lair once they get loose. He's been grinding on every ostrich he sees for months now. Up to legendary Fighter status. I'm afraid to confront him.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Splint on January 12, 2019, 09:31:32 pm
Quote from: thatroleplayerGal on January 12, 2019, 08:49:53 pm
g Settling on top of a lair. Near instant death. A few ghosts later and my dwarves are safe underground, and I'm thinking "oh, I'll just get them some weapons and kill the night troll." Turns out, Fortress Mode night trolls don't like going back inside their lair once they get loose. He's been grinding on every ostrich he sees for months now. Up to legendary Fighter status. I'm afraid to confront him.

When in doubt, long walk of spike traps linked to a lever on repeat with a very deep pit on either side. And lots of marksdwarves (hey, one of the two is bound to make them dodge off.) And more spikes at the bottom. And maybe some soldiers with spears, swords, and axes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: RLS0812 on January 13, 2019, 03:34:47 pm
I didn't know about the Hot keys until a few weeks ago ...
 I spent a lot of time pressing < and > to get to the layers I wanted to  :-[
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: bloop_bleep on January 13, 2019, 04:36:53 pm
Quote from: RLS0812 on January 13, 2019, 03:34:47 pm
I didn't know about the Hot keys until a few weeks ago ...
 I spent a lot of time pressing < and > to get to the layers I wanted to  :-[

Dont worry. I know about hot keys but just am too lazy to set any up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: ReynTheLord on January 15, 2019, 11:11:32 pm
"Alright, Let's hope my dwarves are safe during my bridge test... yep, nobody coming up dead. Bridges went up and down just fine. Looks Like nobody died. Although I'm not sure if I could tell."

A bit more than an ingame week later.

URISTMCCARPENTER HAS BEEN MISSING FOR OVER A WEEK

"oh shit."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Dunamisdeos on January 16, 2019, 02:59:05 pm
In other unrelated news, bridge mechanisms are very well lubricated this month.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Sil3nt on January 16, 2019, 03:50:05 pm
Quote from: ReynTheLord on January 15, 2019, 11:11:32 pm
"Alright, Let's hope my dwarves are safe during my bridge test... yep, nobody coming up dead. Bridges went up and down just fine. Looks Like nobody died. Although I'm not sure if I could tell."

A bit more than an ingame week later.

URISTMCCARPENTER HAS BEEN MISSING FOR OVER A WEEK

"oh shit."


Ahahahahahah i almost fell from my chair
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: htamos on January 26, 2019, 05:41:56 am
Nearly everything i have done before discovering the in-game macro function.
All the repetetive micromanagement i can skip with it is like heaven.
Most of my forts usually die more or less worthy, but i remember a chain of wererhinoceros infections, running around in my bedroom area, because i didn't watch if someone was bitten. lol
Or in a terrifying embark undead ogers started knocking on my entrance door and i just think "on no, please wait i'm not ready for you yet"
While i tend to build military up very early, mostly even one of the starting seven is set to it.
I don't remember all of my earlier forts, but i remember a (giant?) bagder invasion, killing or crippling most of my dwarfs, but this one is a classic. :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on January 26, 2019, 08:26:43 am
Quote from: htamos on January 26, 2019, 05:41:56 am
Nearly everything i have done before discovering the in-game macro function.
All the repetetive micromanagement i can skip with it is like heaven.
Most of my forts usually die more or less worthy, but i remember a chain of wererhinoceros infections, running around in my bedroom area, because i didn't watch if someone was bitten. lol
Or in a terrifying embark undead ogers started knocking on my entrance door and i just think "on no, please wait i'm not ready for you yet"
While i tend to build military up very early, mostly even one of the starting seven is set to it.
I don't remember all of my earlier forts, but i remember a (giant?) bagder invasion, killing or crippling most of my dwarfs, but this one is a classic. :)
is there a tutorial on how to use that feature?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: htamos on January 26, 2019, 08:44:32 am
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on January 26, 2019, 08:26:43 am
Quote from: htamos on January 26, 2019, 05:41:56 am
Nearly everything i have done before discovering the in-game macro function.
All the repetetive micromanagement i can skip with it is like heaven.
Most of my forts usually die more or less worthy, but i remember a chain of wererhinoceros infections, running around in my bedroom area, because i didn't watch if someone was bitten. lol
Or in a terrifying embark undead ogers started knocking on my entrance door and i just think "on no, please wait i'm not ready for you yet"
While i tend to build military up very early, mostly even one of the starting seven is set to it.
I don't remember all of my earlier forts, but i remember a (giant?) bagder invasion, killing or crippling most of my dwarfs, but this one is a classic. :)
is there a tutorial on how to use that feature?

The official wiki entry seems to make it over complicated, but still ok: http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Macros_and_keymaps
I set my keys on F1 to F4 (record,play,save,load), this way you need to clear home hotkey(F1) every time first though
I just tell you how i do it: just prepare everything, for example press D D for digging, move cursor the start spot, press record(ctrl+r), do whatever room size you want and press record again. Every time you press play, it redo every input you do. a new rocord just overwrites the old one therefore the saving option.
Works best if you end it on the last starting spot for the next room, this way i create 2 (opposite of the floor one to) bedrooms just with one key, same with furniture and room definings.
It's really easy, but gives you tons of potencial.
On youtube there should be some guides, i would need to look into that, but if you find a good guide feel free to post it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Bumber on January 27, 2019, 01:12:15 am
Quote from: htamos on January 26, 2019, 08:44:32 am
I set my keys on F1 to F4 (record,play,save,load), this way you need to clear home hotkey(F1) every time first though
You don't use repeat (ctrl+u)? I find it useful for bringing goods to the depot and separating fat/tallow stockpiles (over 200 repeats, IIRC.)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: htamos on January 27, 2019, 03:54:25 am
Quote from: Bumber on January 27, 2019, 01:12:15 am
Quote from: htamos on January 26, 2019, 08:44:32 am
I set my keys on F1 to F4 (record,play,save,load), this way you need to clear home hotkey(F1) every time first though
You don't use repeat (ctrl+u)? I find it useful for bringing goods to the depot and separating fat/tallow stockpiles (over 200 repeats, IIRC.)
I usually only trade (mostly) finished goods out of stone glass or clay, and then i simply hold Shift and scroll all the way to the bottom to select everything. This way my bins don't get selled, and for trade reasons, you can restrict the stockpile near the trade depot to only take certain materials(and forbid artifact quality), this way you see from the distance, that you select the rigth bins.
Tallow ends up as soap in my hospital, in most games there is not much to butcher, i normally do not hunt, depends on the map really, the potencial overflow gets cooked up.
I have a macro for adventure mode to carve rings, but in most cases you don't really need a macro.
Or what do you mean? I don't see much use for continue a macro in most cases, i rather keep control.
But it could be useful at some times, that's for sure, but i can't remember using it at all in the past, i simply don't need it.
To answer your question, no i don't use continue.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: TD1 on February 02, 2019, 11:31:49 am
Ptl
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: EternalCaveDragon on February 18, 2019, 10:04:50 pm
I've got one from a fort that was eventually abandoned to rampant FB attack. RIP Arch of Ancients.

Anyway! There was this one dwarf there named Obok. I don't remember what his official job was, but it must have been one of the ones that required going outside since Obok decided he'd like to climb a tree but then remembered he didn't know how to get down. And so was just hanging out in the branches. I don't remember how exactly I found him, but I found him while he was still alive. So, being the benevolent overseer that I am, I sent someone out to cut down the tree to correct this malfunction in dwarven behavior. Now, I was a bit concerned since this tree was overlooking a trench I'd dug to drain a pond to retrieve a poor dwarf's remains. So, the tree gets cut down, but I don't see any sign of him. So I check the trench to see if he fell in there. Nope. No sign of him. I check where the trench emptied, nope, nada.

Where do I find him? The little bugger managed to either jump or step into the branches of the tree on the opposite side of the trench! With his little pet hamster that I didn't know until then that he had with him in his grasp too. I was seriously tempted to just leave him up there. For about a moment until my conscience won out. From that day onward he was known as Treehopper for that little stunt.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Silverlock on February 19, 2019, 03:40:37 pm
Quote from: EternalCaveDragon on February 18, 2019, 10:04:50 pm
With his little pet hamster that I didn't know until then that he had with him in his grasp too.

Go for the eyes, Urist McBoo!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: EternalCaveDragon on February 19, 2019, 03:51:02 pm
Quote from: Silverlock on February 19, 2019, 03:40:37 pm
Go for the eyes, Urist McBoo!

I'm very glad I understand that reference. XD
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: ViolentBeetle on February 20, 2019, 11:34:13 am
I think I just caused a laval leak by automining into a magma tube. Why did they not stop digging?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Dunamisdeos on February 20, 2019, 08:01:06 pm
Designated mining.

Raised the wrong bridge.

Mining on the other side of the bridge.

Miner came from over 120 blocks away to arrive on the exact time and spot the 1x2 bridge was slamming down on.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: auzewasright on February 20, 2019, 08:10:05 pm
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on February 20, 2019, 08:01:06 pm
Designated mining.

Raised the wrong bridge.

Mining on the other side of the bridge.

Miner came from over 120 blocks away to arrive on the exact time and spot the 1x2 bridge was slamming down on.
Piece was diagonal to magma vein.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Troll_Kaiser177 on February 24, 2019, 01:26:15 pm
My most recent fortress came and went so quickly -

Embark, begin mining, go make matcha (and forget to pause), excitedly return to Giant Hyenas tearing my single remaining DORF to pieces  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: NeoSilverThorn on February 26, 2019, 02:20:39 am
Oh, just about any time I forget to check what's on the Z levels above before digging upwards it turns into one.  Largely due to my luck being just lousy enough that I'll dig into something I shouldn't have.  Like a lake.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: methylatedspirit on February 26, 2019, 09:33:28 am
I set up an overly complicated water system with multiple tanks spanning multiple z-levels, and I wanted to drain every single tank. So I did, and now my fortress is temporarily split into the "upper levels" and the "cavern levels", where the water acts as a barrier between them, which means job cancellation spam.
Maybe I should have attached a separate drainage pipe leading straight into a gigantic evaporation chamber.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Dragonslayerelf on February 26, 2019, 04:17:31 pm
I flooded the mine in my human town accidentally, which was expansive and went really deep into the earth into a cave that attracted a lot of monster slayers, that I wasn't able to send the memo to that it was going to fuck them over. Additionally, there were rocks in there that I forgot to forbid, meaning people were trying to get into the actively flooding mines to get rocks. All things considered, all I really lost was 1 dude and like 4 monster hunters. It was on my human save that crashed and burned (see: reddit) but it was good fun regardless.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: NordicNooob on March 07, 2019, 09:08:38 pm
Be me:
Make grand two dwarf military to be uber elite soldiers.
Armed fully in candy, badass and legendary.

Goblins! Send out the elites! Dine on their blood!
Aand they're slaughtered before they kill anything.
*facepalm*

Why? Cave adaptation apparently ruins all ability to fight. (several follow-up incidents in different forts agree that it wasn't something else)
*sigh*

BONUS:
That same siege is still marching towards my fort!
Close the gate!
Gate closes, locking the few dwarves that were draining the river outside. Their sacrifice will not be forgotten!

Wait, why are the goblins still pathing somewhere?
They're headed to the drained river? Huh, that's the part right under where my hospit-OH.
*goblin army climbs up through the well*
*facepalm*

Disaster is imminent. Fortunately, the fortress has a backup milita! Unfortunately, all eighteen are novice to competent warriors in semi-shitty gear.
*bloody battle for both sides, with about 1:1 casualties*
Well crap. About twenty goblins survive, and enter the fort!

BONUS, the second:
Well, maybe doberman bomb and peasants with axes can kill enough of them to make them retreat!
*bloody battle for both sides*
The siege is broken! All of my useless dwarves and soldiers and dogs are dead, but the siege is broken! Those last seven goblins will run away!
Oh. Without pump operators draining it, the river has refilled, sealing the well that the goblins entered through. Wait, lets just open the gate to let them out! Oh, right, goblins in front of the lever room.
The goblins are trapped in the fortress.
*facepalm*

*muster every last dwarf in the fortress to kill the stragglers*
*bloody battle x3 combo ensures*
*about a dozen dwarves are left*

Lesson: Cave adaptation is dangerous.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nimbus25 on March 08, 2019, 11:32:04 pm
I've been playing in this fort for a little over 8 years now, everything is relatively quiet. Not a single goblin invasion, but looking at the world one of the two nearby civs was at peace, and maybe the other one just didn't care for some reason? The fort is the only dwarven site left on the planet, maybe they didn't care enough. Start making a military just to be safe.

Then I start thinking about it, and realized I've never gotten a single forgotten beast either, despite having the caverns open for most of this fort's lifespan. Check the init files and sure enough, I had apparently shut off invaders for the last fort I played and completely forgot about it. At least now my fort's defended enough so that it shouldn't be (much of) a problem.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Silverlock on March 09, 2019, 10:37:40 am
Quote from: NordicNooob on March 07, 2019, 09:08:38 pm
Oh. Without pump operators draining it, the river has refilled, sealing the well that the goblins entered through. Wait, lets just open the gate to let them out! Oh, right, goblins in front of the lever room.
The goblins are trapped in the fortress.
*facepalm*

That was my favorite part.  The looks on the faces of both the goblins and the dwarves would have been priceless.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: MobRules on March 14, 2019, 12:25:39 pm
Quote from: NordicNooob on March 07, 2019, 09:08:38 pm

Lesson: Cave adaptation is dangerous.

Yup. After learning this the hard way (more than once), I nearly always make sure my tavern gets sunlight.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on March 14, 2019, 03:29:31 pm
Quote from: MobRules on March 14, 2019, 12:25:39 pm
Quote from: NordicNooob on March 07, 2019, 09:08:38 pm

Lesson: Cave adaptation is dangerous.

Yup. After learning this the hard way (more than once), I nearly always make sure my tavern gets sunlight.
or the entryway takes several days to cross.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Matrixar on March 16, 2019, 05:07:43 am
When I cant figure out where to check what the dwarf with a strange mood wants... And then just by a chance u build a craftsdwarf workshop and the dwarf starts occupying it

just to go berserk and attack a kid and then get sloughtered

And now one of my dwarves is sleeping on a pile with around 40 dead cropses... After being incredibly horryfied about 40 times

Then one gave a birth to a baby, transformed into a werepig and killed it : /
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: TubaDragoness on March 18, 2019, 08:10:10 pm
Just in case you hadn't looked it up, workshops are determined by a dwarf's highest crafting-related skill. If they don't have a crafting skill, they take over a basic crafting workshop and make some sort of trinket.

Once in the workshop the building can be examined with Q to get a list of their demands when they're stuck. The countdown to insanity also apparently resets every time they successfully collect an item or claim a building, so it's possible to string a mooded dwarf along for a very long time when you lack an item they want.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: brotundbutter on March 20, 2019, 01:37:20 am
Starting a new fortress. I set up a pasture zone out front for the water buffaloes that pulled the wagon, then moved on to my next task. After a while I notice that the water buffaloes are still inside my fortress in the placeholder meeting area, increasingly hungry. Huh? But I told you to oh, I forgot to designate which animals go in this pasture. My mistake. Starve no more, buffaloes!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Benjyhana on March 25, 2019, 06:21:00 pm
Year 7 autosave and game keeps crashing, but refuse for DAYS of reloads to roll back cause I finally gots 30 marksdwarfs to equip/station/successfully get into minecarts for the 339 tile long powered roller coaster ride encircling the 500 gobbos coming up the 40z circuler ramp. There will never be better timing.
Finally in rage I say F you to whole DF game file.

Three days later I realize recycle bin hadn't been emptied since I got back into DF last month and had 120 gig of deleted embark gens, but no out of HD space notifications during crashs, which also meant there wasnt room for DF game file when I raged it.

Urist forgot to dump the hard drive stockpile.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Superdorf on March 25, 2019, 07:19:56 pm
Ouch.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: methylatedspirit on March 29, 2019, 08:56:47 pm
I realized that my dwarves weren't harvesting, so I thought there was something wrong with them that I needed to vent about in Note to Urist. Then I checked my standing orders.
(https://i.imgur.com/OLChot6.png)
Oops.
Spoiler: My refuse pile is a mark of shame (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Magistrum on March 29, 2019, 10:01:35 pm
Quote from: methylatedspirit on March 29, 2019, 08:56:47 pm
I needed to vent about in Note to Urist. Then I checked my standing orders.

Note to Overseer...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Shockwave07 on April 18, 2019, 03:27:29 pm
I recently had a Dwarf settlement started with one pickaxe and while attempting to channel off of a stream managed to get this Dwarf killed... Barely started so onto attempt 12 to get my dwarves self sustaining.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on May 04, 2019, 07:42:45 am
Just read about crops after playing for years and realized only 1 of the underground 6 is edible with no processing required...

http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Crop

It did inspire me to get into the textile / paper industries more though.

So a goblin siege arrives, I retract a bridge to force them to swim around - delaying them while my surface dwarves get inside.  While they go inside I'll just work on digging out the lower rooms of the fort some more to make more underground farms. 

Some time later in the notification window:
Urist cancels construct bag, interrupted by a goblin hammerman.

Oops, I never did go back up and order that lever pulled once the dwarves got inside.  Now 40+ goblins are in the main stairway.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 20, 2019, 12:27:24 pm
It took a long time for me to figure out that a squad cannot train without a barracks. Good thing no sieges happened.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nezclaw on May 25, 2019, 04:23:56 pm
Oh hey I can use autodump to get rid of all those large clothing items clogging the bedrooms!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Magistrum on May 25, 2019, 08:40:49 pm
Wait till you hear about cleanowned!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nezclaw on May 26, 2019, 12:10:55 am
i knew about that one! but this wasn't owned items it was junk from a randgen fortress i'd reclaimed. currently i'm using it to move goblinite to a convenient location near the smelters on a diff fortress.

[edit]also i really hope it saves properly cuz i did a dumb and started to open the sims without closing and saving DF first.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 26, 2019, 07:28:29 am
Quote from: nezclaw on May 26, 2019, 12:10:55 am
i knew about that one! but this wasn't owned items it was junk from a randgen fortress i'd reclaimed. currently i'm using it to move goblinite to a convenient location near the smelters on a diff fortress.

[edit]also i really hope it saves properly cuz i did a dumb and started to open the sims without closing and saving DF first.

If you didn't close it, you can click it in the bottom area (taskbar?) and then save and close. I don't think opening something closes you out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nezclaw on May 26, 2019, 04:29:02 pm
Quote from: Naturegirl1999 on May 26, 2019, 07:28:29 am
Quote from: nezclaw on May 26, 2019, 12:10:55 am
i knew about that one! but this wasn't owned items it was junk from a randgen fortress i'd reclaimed. currently i'm using it to move goblinite to a convenient location near the smelters on a diff fortress.

[edit]also i really hope it saves properly cuz i did a dumb and started to open the sims without closing and saving DF first.

If you didn't close it, you can click it in the bottom area (taskbar?) and then save and close. I don't think opening something closes you out.
i forced quit the sims before it fully booted up. it's the memory i was worried about, since simulations of any kind, (dwarf fortress, sims, kerbal space program), tend to take up a lot of memory and processing power.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 26, 2019, 04:45:43 pm
I hope it worked.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nezclaw on May 27, 2019, 02:11:20 pm
it did, but now there's a dragon and i don't have much in the way of dwarfy defenses.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on May 27, 2019, 02:17:27 pm
Quote from: nezclaw on May 27, 2019, 02:11:20 pm
it did, but now there's a dragon and i don't have much in the way of dwarfy defenses.
just the way the fort before my current fort died... 3 times reclaiming failed even further as the underground rooms beneath the ocean biome filled with water each time i reclaimed and flooded some levels, whiel that dragon was safe inside the main stairwell.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on May 27, 2019, 04:25:31 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on May 27, 2019, 02:17:27 pm
Quote from: nezclaw on May 27, 2019, 02:11:20 pm
it did, but now there's a dragon and i don't have much in the way of dwarfy defenses.
just the way the fort before my current fort died... 3 times reclaiming failed even further as the underground rooms beneath the ocean biome filled with water each time i reclaimed and flooded some levels, whiel that dragon was safe inside the main stairwell.
The stairwell seems to be the best spot to fight dragons as their fire doesn't have as much room to spread, giving the dwarves a better chance to get close enough for a swing at it.
...Or close enough so that when they are flamed, the molten steel mist that was their armor gets in the dragon's face.  Just throw wave after wave of your own men at it, and eventually you'll win.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Imic on May 27, 2019, 05:16:30 pm
When faced with large sieges and flying units, I bravely, gallantly, and proudly shut every entrance, go neener-neener out the arrow slits and eat mushroomf until they go away. Works every time. Its even bettee when it turns out there was an entrance which couldnt be closed and now the farmers are dead and theres a cyclops killing the haulers. That was fun.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: pikachu17 on May 29, 2019, 12:15:37 pm
You mean !FUN!.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on May 29, 2019, 12:50:05 pm
Quote from: Imic on May 27, 2019, 05:16:30 pm
When faced with large sieges and flying units, I bravely, gallantly, and proudly shut every entrance, go neener-neener out the arrow slits and eat mushroomf until they go away. Works every time. Its even bettee when it turns out there was an entrance which couldnt be closed and now the farmers are dead and theres a cyclops killing the haulers. That was fun.
i try that always and end up without a proper leverroom (and withou linked levers and bridges) near my godlike meetinghall because other tragedies keep my dorfs from completing it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nezclaw on May 30, 2019, 08:36:49 pm
hahaha yeah well that's basically what i did for the goblin sieges. which is why my militia is understaffed. we're still cleaning up from that mess.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: xZippy on May 30, 2019, 08:40:00 pm
Probably a common boring one, but I forgot to build a well and my dwarves started almost dying of thirst. I maxed out my embark points and got enough alcohol to completely fill 2 castles, but they still drank all that in a painfully small amount of time. I wouldn't be surprised if their saliva just permanently became ethanol after drinking that much.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Dunamisdeos on June 03, 2019, 06:27:41 pm
I generally have 3000 or so booze as a baseline.

If it gets too low i just have them process plants into booze until they run out of barrels.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nezclaw on June 03, 2019, 10:39:39 pm
oh here's a good one from early in my dorfing career.
hey wait i can undesignate areas to be dug??
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: IncompetentFortressMaker on June 09, 2019, 02:07:58 pm
Quite recently, my 4 troll prisoners and 1 goblin prisoner had been stockpiled. Some dwarven merchants arrived. So what did I do? I designated the cages to be brought to the trade depot (they were listed under Pets) and a dwarf promptly went to deliver a troll. But, rather than dragging the cage to the depot, he released the troll and caused mayhem as the troll ran about smacking dwarves. On another note, a stray dog of mine earned a name near the end of this, presumably for killing the troll (which was not reported as dead via announcement, but checking the unit list and Dead/Missing section showed its name).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nezclaw on July 04, 2019, 07:04:53 pm
yeah that's a known issue.

I was wondering why my dwarfs weren't equipping the goblinite outside to get some armor practice in, and realized that i still had the inside burrow active. and they were training nekkid. oops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Ulfarr on July 20, 2019, 04:21:24 am
moddedgamesproblems #19998:

After a lot of test embarks/world gens I found a wonderful location near a volcano. It turns out there isn't much water/vegetation around here and my civ can't farm. But there are honey bees...LOTS of honey bees.
.
.
.
.
I forgot to give my civ the "make mead" reaction.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on July 20, 2019, 05:02:52 am
Quote from: Ulfarr on July 20, 2019, 04:21:24 am
moddedgamesproblems #19998:

After a lot of test embarks/world gens I found a wonderful location near a volcano. It turns out there isn't much water/vegetation around here and my civ can't farm. But there are honey bees...LOTS of honey bees.
.
.

.
I forgot to give my civ the "make mead" reaction.
Looks like you need to invest in the materials to make honey. Good luck
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: TomiTapio on July 20, 2019, 08:35:33 am
Quote from: Ulfarr on July 20, 2019, 04:21:24 am
moddedgamesproblems #19998:
After a lot of test embarks/world gens I found a wonderful location near a volcano. It turns out there isn't much water/vegetation around here and my civ can't farm. But there are honey bees...LOTS of honey bees.
.
I forgot to give my civ the "make mead" reaction.
Could edit a random existing reaction to become the mead reaction. Or cave plants into drinks?
Could generate the world again from the exported text file of world gen params.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Ulfarr on July 20, 2019, 08:48:26 am
Thanks for the suggestions but it won't be needed :)

The embark might not have that much readily available plants to gather but it supports a few different types of fruit bearing trees. After the first couple of years and with a bit of care on which tress i cut down I managed to get enough of them to have a failry steady supply of fruits for brewing purposes.

And I have messed up more reactions other than mead. Off to find out how I can regenerate that world.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Ianflow on July 20, 2019, 12:55:07 pm
Quote from: Ulfarr on July 20, 2019, 08:48:26 am
And I have messed up more reactions other than mead. Off to find out how I can regenerate that world.

It Was Inevitable
(really sorry to hear that, iirc there should be something to give the exact gen'd map, and history seed)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Traynack on July 20, 2019, 10:50:06 pm
Ok, here's mine: I had created a burrow, an alert system, a military squad, and a front gate... that wasn't connected to a lever. Next few minutes a bunch of goblins come in and I see the "Your fortress has crumbled to its end" screen. *sigh* and we were going so well... oh well. Loosing is fun, right? Right?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on July 21, 2019, 03:00:16 am
Quote from: Traynack on July 20, 2019, 10:50:06 pm
Ok, here's mine: I had created a burrow, an alert system, a military squad, and a front gate... that wasn't connected to a lever. Next few minutes a bunch of goblins come in and I see the "Your fortress has crumbled to its end" screen. *sigh* and we were going so well... oh well. Loosing is fun, right? Right?
that unconnected gate lever is the classic and i should know by now, but it happens again and again. most times i just can't decide where to put the lever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: TomiTapio on July 21, 2019, 05:58:56 am
Quote from: Traynack on July 20, 2019, 10:50:06 pm
Next few minutes a bunch of goblins come in and I see the "Your fortress has crumbled to its end" screen. *sigh*

"pause on animal or citizen death" in the announcements init, is combat watcher's friend!
[ADV_CREATURE_DEATH:A_D:D_D:UCR_A]
[CITIZEN_DEATH:A_D:D_D:UCR_A:P:R]
[PET_DEATH:A_D:D_D:UCR_A:P:R] will nag on butchering, but quite handy to detect the violence
P = pause, R= recenter view, D_D is "mention in fort mode"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Astrid on July 21, 2019, 05:00:50 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on July 21, 2019, 03:00:16 am
that unconnected gate lever is the classic and i should know by now, but it happens again and again. most times i just can't decide where to put the lever.

I tend to put all my levers in a small room right beside the main dining room to have a near guarantee that someone always has time to pull. The 'N'otes command is very handy in naming them appropiately.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: NordicNooob on July 21, 2019, 09:20:19 pm
Quote from: Astrid on July 21, 2019, 05:00:50 pm
I tend to put all my levers in a small room right beside the main dining room to have a near guarantee that someone always has time to pull. The 'N'otes command is very handy in naming them appropiately.

You can name the levers with q instead of just sticking a note over the top of them. Open up the lever like you're gonna pull it, then hit CTRL+n to name it something. Works with bridges and stuff too, so in a succession fort it lets other players know exactly what bridges the lever hooks to and not just "is the west north gate the one in the caverns or the one on the surface?"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on July 22, 2019, 06:23:11 am
Quote from: NordicNooob on July 21, 2019, 09:20:19 pm
Quote from: Astrid on July 21, 2019, 05:00:50 pm
I tend to put all my levers in a small room right beside the main dining room to have a near guarantee that someone always has time to pull. The 'N'otes command is very handy in naming them appropiately.

You can name the levers with q instead of just sticking a note over the top of them. Open up the lever like you're gonna pull it, then hit CTRL+n to name it something. Works with bridges and stuff too, so in a succession fort it lets other players know exactly what bridges the lever hooks to and not just "is the west north gate the one in the caverns or the one on the surface?"
thanks, that really helps :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: HMD Majesty on July 23, 2019, 06:09:33 pm
We wanted to make a hospital with a waterfall just inside the door.  The first level of Our fort that is in use is just above an aquifer, so We thought that We could just channel a drain into it.

As it turns out, aquifer drains do not work that way.  While one of Our dwarfs did successfully brave the flooding to close the shut-off hatch, the water wheel continued to turn and power the pumps.

(https://i.postimg.cc/Hk8Jk2q7/Doom-Flood-Device.png)

Such was the result.  We believe that We should not have allowed water from the pump stack to have a route to the power source.

If We ever feel the need to render the fortress completely uninhabitable, We now have a way.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: xZippy on July 24, 2019, 07:52:21 am
I like to have corpse/refuse piles underground, and then once they're full, I have them "floored" off so they can't be entered again, so dwarves don't get horrified seeing all that. There was one pile I was trying to block off, but it just so happened that every single time I installed a floor to permanently block off the underground pile, a cat or dwarf would slip through just as the floor was being done, trapping them inside.

I had to remove and re-add that floor so many times. Christ that was annoying.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: pikachu17 on July 24, 2019, 11:32:12 am
Quote from: xZippy on July 24, 2019, 07:52:21 am
I like to have corpse/refuse piles underground, and then once they're full, I have them "floored" off so they can't be entered again, so dwarves don't get horrified seeing all that. There was one pile I was trying to block off, but it just so happened that every single time I installed a floor to permanently block off the underground pile, a cat or dwarf would slip through just as the floor was being done, trapping them inside.

I had to remove and re-add that floor so many times. Christ that was annoying.
Couldn't you just lock a door instead? Or lock a door and then put a wall in front of the door?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: CmmDmmCD on July 26, 2019, 05:58:37 am
I would like to share that on my embark, I started with a werecat.
It transformed and infected everyone, (the babies too, but the werecat ignored its cat bretheren), after two kills the werecat was slain by my miner.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: hotdeliciousdwarvenpizza on July 30, 2019, 09:32:08 am
First fort, I ignored the advice to not embark on an aquifer because I didn't think it would be a "big deal". LOL. I couldn't dig more than 2 layers deep. Every other room in my fort was a staircase because I was desperately looking for a spot where there wasn't an aquifer.

On that same fort, the fortress failed because I didn't think to designate seeds to be planted on farm plots... all my dwarfs starved to death.

I guess these are just "noob mistakes" and not true facepalm moments, but looking back on it with what I know now I do cringe a little  :)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Alidus on August 06, 2019, 09:48:59 am
Quote from: hotdeliciousdwarvenpizza on July 30, 2019, 09:32:08 am
First fort, I ignored the advice to not embark on an aquifer because I didn't think it would be a "big deal". LOL. I couldn't dig more than 2 layers deep. Every other room in my fort was a staircase because I was desperately looking for a spot where there wasn't an aquifer.

On that same fort, the fortress failed because I didn't think to designate seeds to be planted on farm plots... all my dwarfs starved to death.

I guess these are just "noob mistakes" and not true facepalm moments, but looking back on it with what I know now I do cringe a little  :)

I like embarking on the edge of an aquifer. You can make it so it's only on one edge of the map and you can dig down everywhere else. Then you can tap into the side of the aquifer and make a cistern.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Dunamisdeos on August 06, 2019, 02:58:54 pm
That is my preferred water solution hands down.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Eschar on August 06, 2019, 05:06:13 pm
Most solutions are water solutions. As are acids.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Dunamisdeos on August 06, 2019, 05:28:51 pm
I prefer untested groundwater thank you very much.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on August 07, 2019, 02:18:18 pm
Quote from: Pvt. Pirate on August 07, 2019, 02:17:36 pm
just bought 4 books on sneakdrills thinking about improving my hunters/ambushers' skills - only to find out later that the human settlement "Gil Uhost" shows up as "Sneakdrills" near my fort :D
i 'm still laughing in disbelieve :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Tilmar13 on August 15, 2019, 05:10:45 pm
Titan shows up to attack my fortress pretty early on in the game, so I turtle up. The lever is pulled, and the I realize I had forgotten to specify a bridge raise direction. Titan strolls across the retracted bridge and kills everyone.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Akura on August 17, 2019, 12:30:37 pm
Attempted to drain some murky ponds at the top of a waterfall cliff via channeling them out over the edge. A few seconds later, two dwarves fall from that.

Quote from: The miner who broke his neck on impact.
So easily broken... Begone fear!
I was close to a waterfall. I'm so relieved.
I've been injured badly. This leaves me so shaken.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: IncompetentFortressMaker on August 17, 2019, 01:30:12 pm
My latest "facepalm" moment: A (now ruined) fort of mine all but drowned. I eventually abandoned the place with only 2 citizens left who refused to die. Anyway, I had been about to make a stockpile when: "Digging designation cancelled: damp stone located."
Being foolish and thinking that aquifers tagged tiles below them as damp like actual water does (there was an aquifer layer above the Z-level I was mining in), I ignored the warning and went straight in. Soon enough my main staircase was flooding and dwarves were drowning way down in my tavern by the drawbridge to the first cavern layer (along with some visitors). Fast forward about a season, and I suddenly receive an announcement telling me that a ghost has battered my mayor. I check said mayor and find that his left leg has been amputated. So, now you know why I abandoned that fort (the other citizen at the time was a starving, dehydrated, drowsy child who was somehow still alive with about 5/7 water inside the entire bedroom he or she had gotten trapped in).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: itisnotlogical on August 18, 2019, 09:55:00 pm
I brought dwarves that had been mauled by werecreatures directly to my hospital, in the center of the fortress, which had zero quarantine measures in place. Predictably, they transformed about a day later, killing a few more dwarves and possibly contaminating many others. Unless there's a miracle I think this fort might be hosed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: EternalCaveDragon on August 18, 2019, 10:19:41 pm
Quote from: itisnotlogical on August 18, 2019, 09:55:00 pm
I brought dwarves that had been mauled by werecreatures directly to my hospital, in the center of the fortress, which had zero quarantine measures in place. Predictably, they transformed about a day later, killing a few more dwarves and possibly contaminating many others. Unless there's a miracle I think this fort might be hosed.

Could just try locking and sealing them all in the hospital if there's enough room. They'll all transform and maul each other since they saw the others transform. And ideally they'll all be dead from their wounds before they transform again. Somehow worked for me on my very first fort, though I abandoned that one shortly after for different reasons.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: itisnotlogical on August 18, 2019, 11:58:52 pm
Quote from: EternalCaveDragon on August 18, 2019, 10:19:41 pm
Quote from: itisnotlogical on August 18, 2019, 09:55:00 pm
I brought dwarves that had been mauled by werecreatures directly to my hospital, in the center of the fortress, which had zero quarantine measures in place. Predictably, they transformed about a day later, killing a few more dwarves and possibly contaminating many others. Unless there's a miracle I think this fort might be hosed.

Could just try locking and sealing them all in the hospital if there's enough room. They'll all transform and maul each other since they saw the others transform. And ideally they'll all be dead from their wounds before they transform again. Somehow worked for me on my very first fort, though I abandoned that one shortly after for different reasons.

Is locking a door really that effective? I thought its only use was traffic control, keeping your dwarves in or out of certain areas.

Related: I spent a good five minutes trying to figure out why nobody was building a lever. My mechanic has all the right labors enabled, she should pick up the slack, dammit!

... Only after staring at the screen for ten minutes did I realize that she wasn't doing anything because she's unconscious in the hospital and will probably never use her left arm again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: EternalCaveDragon on August 19, 2019, 12:22:55 am
Quote from: itisnotlogical on August 18, 2019, 11:58:52 pm
Is locking a door really that effective? I thought its only use was traffic control, keeping your dwarves in or out of certain areas.

It'll keep anybody from going in there after you get the infected inside. But werebeasts are building destroyers that can tear up doors. So you'll want to build a wall (covering diagonals too) in front of the door so the infected dwarves can't get past it if/after their werebeast forms tear down the door.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Splint on August 19, 2019, 12:39:46 am
It's been a long time, but I thought I'd share something, if I hadn't already. I recalled one of my first ever forts, back in 31.25. I had brought a ton of eggs as food one embark.

I had failed to grasp the concept that eggs need to be cooked, as dwarves had eaten raw meat, prepared, but otherwise raw, fish, and raw mushrooms just fine. You can see where this is going.

Cue about a season or two later when dwarves start dying of starvation, with me not figuring out why until it was too late.

The last dwarf died heating up the pan to fry some eggs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: itisnotlogical on August 19, 2019, 01:09:58 am
Quote from: Splint on August 19, 2019, 12:39:46 am
It's been a long time, but I thought I'd share something, if I hadn't already. I recalled one of my first ever forts, back in 31.25. I had brought a ton of eggs as food one embark.

I had failed to grasp the concept that eggs need to be cooked, as dwarves had eaten raw meat, prepared, but otherwise raw, fish, and raw mushrooms just fine. You can see where this is going.

Cue about a season or two later when dwarves start dying of starvation, with me not figuring out why until it was too late.

The last dwarf died heating up the pan to fry some eggs.

Reminds me of my first several forts, where even while following a guide I forgot to build a still.

Anyway, I solved the werecreature situation:

(https://i.gyazo.com/1ca9f1a509e901a01c202e557b9c84f8.png)

I think however I will retire this fort for reasons completely unrelated to the room full of water I have just created.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: ulf on August 19, 2019, 07:48:00 am
While working on draining an aquifer, I had a rather large drainage room with floodgates controlled by levers on the same z-level as the gates. I had then made a series of screwpumps to drain the room back over the aquifer to remove the water. So far so good. Then I got distracted by other stuff in the fortress... And When I looked back the lower levels were completely flooded... Seems the drainage had been too good - so that the waterwheels didn't have any water to power them anymore... And then the real facepalm - I hadn't considered pressure - so the water had flooded over the pumps into the mechanics area - and then back into the access tunnels - and now the levers were 3 levels under water....

(I later figured out I could fix this by draining the water out of the map... doing that earlier would have saved a lot of dwarven lives)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Kryten42 on August 23, 2019, 01:09:44 pm
Ah, a perfect place for my first post here :)

My latest facepalm moment: Decided to raid some elves, since my game is a bit too calm for my liking (only one noteworthy gobbo siege so far, after 15 years). They were already at war with me, although I have no idea why(they sent caravans at the start, then stopped and I later discovered I was at war with them) and so I thought I might provoke some action by raiding one of their homes.
So I sent out my main squad of 10 legendary axedorfs to raid and raze that place, hoping to get some revenge action. They went through that place in no time and even brought back a breeding pair of unicorns! (Yay, soon we`ll have unicorn meat). I was really happy, but somehow there was no revenge action from them....checked the world later only to find out that this was apparently the last outpost of them, all other places don't have any inhabitants any more....duh. Since there are also no humans, I am left with the gobbos, which still haven't shown up a second time, although I am amassing wealth as much as I can. Even the artifact adamantine leggins, worth ~1.2 mil I have now displayed in my tavern doesn't seem to do the trick.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: asialsky on August 27, 2019, 05:38:07 am
"Ah, my water reactor is done at last, now I can-"
Urist McToddler has canceled job. And again. And again.
"Huh. It appears an idiot keeps getting splashed, but refuses to leave. They're not... hurting anything, so I guess I'll just wait until they leave for food, or starve."
A few minutes later...
"Alright, he moved, so now-"
Job cancel intensifies
"WHY ARE THERE NOW FOUR CHILDREN IN MY REACTOR?!"

I may have edited the raws a bit too much. I don't remember them being this dumb.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on August 28, 2019, 11:59:03 am
had a surplus of valuable gems (rubies) on the surface and wanted them stored before any Keas could grab them.
i designated my temple to be mined, so i could store the gems there until i got proper rooms set up.
a few months later still no single gem in there.
i check and it's a refuse stockpile :D e and r are close on the keyboard...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Kryten42 on August 29, 2019, 01:01:08 am
I built my first ever Pumpstack through 14 z-levels to get some water up to my fort. I did read in the wiki that such a stack is fragile and should only one pump get destroyed, the whole stack will collapse. Now if anyone would have told me that deconstructing and axle connected to the top pump will have the same effect...... *sigh* building the whole thing again now
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nezclaw on August 29, 2019, 01:03:25 pm
Quote from: Kryten42 on August 29, 2019, 01:01:08 am
I built my first ever Pumpstack through 14 z-levels to get some water up to my fort. I did read in the wiki that such a stack is fragile and should only one pump get destroyed, the whole stack will collapse. Now if anyone would have told me that deconstructing and axle connected to the top pump will have the same effect...... *sigh* building the whole thing again now

ooh, yeah. you want to make sure it's connected to something that has a stable foundation that you aren't messing with.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on August 30, 2019, 03:50:07 am
i used a 12x12 embark for a "stupid dorf project" with a cliffside on the far left.
it took about 5 Minutes until it finally loaded and i was actually surprised to have it run on 60fps.
then i found that at the position where i need to build the main gate into a cliffside, there was no cliffside, but flat area.
also i don't have a backup of the world, so i just deleted the region.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Vercingetorix on August 30, 2019, 06:04:30 pm
Tfw you build those sturdy drawbridges to close off the fort only to find out after linking them to the levers that they're set to retract.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: delphonso on August 31, 2019, 09:45:58 pm
I swear this has killed more fortesses than any forgotten beast.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Superdorf on September 01, 2019, 05:19:33 pm
Of course, sometimes a forgotten beast is involved...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: ulf on September 02, 2019, 03:06:51 am
Todays face palm: Realizing that you forgot to link the bridge blocking the cavern access up to a lever before using said access as a dump for water from an aquifier..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nezclaw on September 03, 2019, 11:40:23 am
I accidentally designated my GCS to be trained.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on September 03, 2019, 11:42:25 am
Quote from: nezclaw on September 03, 2019, 11:40:23 am
I accidentally designated my GCS to be trained.
Whats wrong with training them?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Superdorf on September 03, 2019, 11:57:08 am
They won't spit webs at most things once they've been trained. Makes it way harder to set up an unending fount of weavable spider-silk.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nekoexmachina on September 04, 2019, 03:07:55 am
That's what you use a chained goblin for
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nekoexmachina on September 04, 2019, 06:15:29 pm
So for whatever reason, I got 4 barons appointed.

All 4 are my steel-bearing war-forged swordmasters of legends.

Which is not only the backbone of my military, which is de facto the only military i got.

GOod thing is they can be commanded as military unit of barons. Bad thing, they lose their rooms every time I send them offsite.

Bad thing, 4x mandates every now and then. :S
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nezclaw on September 04, 2019, 08:01:41 pm
Quote from: nekoexmachina on September 04, 2019, 03:07:55 am
That's what you use a chained goblin for
first i need a captured goblin.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Mathel on September 14, 2019, 10:47:46 am
I started genning a custom medium world, only customization was removal of bogeymen. I forgot to shorten history from the 1050 years to something more manageable.

That was 3 hours ago. 15 minutes ago, in the year 780, I decided that it is taking too long and decided to stop it.
6 minutes ago, year 804, it finaly responded and let me select (u)se world as is.
During the writing of the last line, it finaly finished.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nezclaw on September 14, 2019, 11:44:46 am
Quote from: Mathel on September 14, 2019, 10:47:46 am
I started genning a custom medium world, only customization was removal of bogeymen. I forgot to shorten history from the 1050 years to something more manageable.

That was 3 hours ago. 15 minutes ago, in the year 780, I decided that it is taking too long and decided to stop it.
6 minutes ago, year 804, it finaly responded and let me select (u)se world as is.
During the writing of the last line, it finaly finished.

Oh wow. I usually don't let it get past 125 when genning.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Bydth on September 14, 2019, 08:46:24 pm
 Just starting out a new fort, looking around, getting the lay of the land, when I realize the fort has a metamorphic uppermost layer. No I say to myself. Not another bloody no-sedimentary fort. So I add [ore_iron] to diorite. The dorfs have finished digging, time for the first stockpile. Armor: yes, bars: yes, food: yes, weapons: yes. Refuse? Flashes back to previous fort. yes.
  Got iron smelting from diorite, making a set of iron armor. Some time later: Looks in stocks and sees X(-iron chestplate-)X. Oh no! - somebodys getting mauled!
Checks unit list. Nothing out of the ordinary, orders up second iron suit just to be safe. Checks back later: more rotten armor. Well, this armor is useless now, I cant even melt it, smelting ore is more efficient! I  could put down a refuse stockpile outside, or I can save everyones time and enable Refuse on the main stockpile.

Enable Refuse on main stockpile... Checks settings.

Gnaws Keyboard
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: asialsky on September 18, 2019, 05:39:00 am
In another hilarious blunder, I discovered that my airships have nothing holding them together.
I wanted to make a flying metal wagon, and even made a syndrome to turn non-dwarves into it. The problem occurs exactly 1 frame after they transform.
Frame 1: Yay, airship successfully modded in! It's alive!
Frame 2: *List of "Airship metals"*

I guess I need to recheck the colossus/wagon raws and figure out what missing tag causes instant death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: LordPorkins on September 18, 2019, 09:01:03 am
That does conjure up a very amusing mental image of an insane dwarf engineer constantly trying to perfect his design only for it to explode every time he completes it.

He is known a Tor SingedBeard.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: TheFlame52 on September 19, 2019, 03:42:50 pm
Quote from: asialsky on September 18, 2019, 05:39:00 am
In another hilarious blunder, I discovered that my airships have nothing holding them together.
I wanted to make a flying metal wagon, and even made a syndrome to turn non-dwarves into it. The problem occurs exactly 1 frame after they transform.
Frame 1: Yay, airship successfully modded in! It's alive!
Frame 2: *List of "Airship metals"*

I guess I need to recheck the colossus/wagon raws and figure out what missing tag causes instant death.
Your gaseous tissues could be changing states. Try looking at fire men and iron men.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Bomrek_BucketMonger on October 07, 2019, 01:35:18 am
I once embarked on a glacier biome. When I was irrigateing the room i was going to have my farm in a huge wall of water instantly flooded my fortress and drowned all my dorfs. That is how I learned about water pressure.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: IncompetentFortressMaker on October 07, 2019, 04:40:43 pm
That'll ruin your fort, all right.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Magistrum on October 07, 2019, 06:13:06 pm
Are you truly an overseer if you never flooded your fortress building waterworks, though?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nezclaw on October 07, 2019, 09:03:01 pm
Quote from: Magistrum on October 07, 2019, 06:13:06 pm
Are you truly an overseer if you never flooded your fortress building waterworks, though?
tip: never dig a channel straight from the river without installing floodgates.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on October 08, 2019, 07:27:41 am
Quote from: nezclaw on October 07, 2019, 09:03:01 pm
Quote from: Magistrum on October 07, 2019, 06:13:06 pm
Are you truly an overseer if you never flooded your fortress building waterworks, though?
tip: never dig a channel straight from the river without installing floodgates.
i always use drawbridges for this, because they cannot be blocked by items.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Atarlost on October 10, 2019, 02:51:29 pm
I couldn't figure out why my expeditions started getting stuck when I assigned war animals. 

I had all access points to the surface tightly closed. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Dragofire on October 17, 2019, 07:10:18 pm
I forgot that you could'nt cage pets so got infuriated trying to cage this one cat that some random fish dissector had as a pet. Needless to say i stuck both in a room full of spikes and pulled the lever 600 times.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nezclaw on October 19, 2019, 05:01:10 pm
somehow i accidentally deleted the pheobus tileset when i was trying to switch to the default tileset for Dawnthunder purposes. i have a hard time visualizing the surface with the default set.

also i'm not sure if i mentioned this or not, but i found out that i had accidentally been playing on 43.05 instead of 44.12 a while back.

that's weird. i went into the lnp and pheobus is there. it's just not showing up on the list.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: mightymushroom on October 22, 2019, 02:30:24 pm
I have a cross post between "Face Palm" and "What's going on?" threads.
Quote from: mightymushroom on October 18, 2019, 01:40:31 pm
I'm more worried whether I have sufficient drainage when I flip the second lever to power up the misty waterfall in the temple. My engineers say it'll be fine, but that's what they said about the waterwheel sluice, too.

From the conclusions of the Soggy Aftermath Committee: "Real time flow readings from the outlet show that the drain was working as predicted and could have accommodated more. It was the pump stack that was overpowered, spraying water well beyond the containment radius of the waterfall feature."

I've just experienced a practical lesson in how pressure puts water in the 'dorfy nearest' tile, and NOT in the downmost available tile. The inadvertent good news is that the inlet also had less pressure from the brook than anticipated, due to my same misapprehension farther upstream. The two failures partially cancelled each other and made it a very slow flood.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: TheCrimsonDM on October 31, 2019, 08:08:02 am
Spent the past two or three years in game trying to make axes so someone would cut down some trees on the surface. Still had plenty of wood so it wasn't a big concern, but it was weird that no one would cut down a single tree so I could build a surface tavern. Lo and behold I realize that not a single dwarf had the wood cutting skill enabled because my only wood cutter died in a temple brawl years ago... needless to say, I had my facepalm moment.

At least i have a lot of axes now...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: KaleNipClaw on October 31, 2019, 07:37:30 pm
I ordered a dwarf to dig a lone, post-channeling wall. It was load-bearing, of course. There was blood. Thankfully I have a medical dwarf. Not-so-thankfully, that dwarf is also my cleaner.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: KaleNipClaw on November 05, 2019, 02:39:52 am
Okay, so I am officially the worst Overseer ever. I embarked in an evil Tundra, and some Profane Ash drifted by. Yeah, the stuff that zombifies and kills. I didn't reactivate the Civilian Alert. Everyone died. Fun in a couple of days.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Steedat on November 18, 2019, 09:18:06 am
First Weretortoise Attack:
Me: "Uh-oh, looks like trouble. Better seal the fort..."
*First bridge raises. Second bridge...retracts.*
Me: "...Oh crap."
(Full disclosure, I DFHack-'exterminated' the tortoise; I didn't want to lose the fort to a bone-headed mistake.)

Second Weretortoise Attack:
Me: "Again? Good thing I fixed those bridges."
*First bridge raises*
*Second bridge raises*
*Weretortoise paths through a diagonal crack in the wall next to the second bridge*
Me: "Son of a bi-"

One Month Later
Me: "Okay, bridges are right, walls are secure. Three dwarves dead, but all of the potentially infected are quarantined in 'hospital' cells. Oh look, the dwarven caravan is here."
*Urist McWrong-Place-Wrong-Time cancels Haul Item: interrupted by weretortoise Planter*
Me: "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFU-"
(I lost 4 more dwarves, including a very good broker and legendary weaver, not including the veteran planter-turned-ninja turtle)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: mwanafalsafa on November 21, 2019, 06:33:21 pm
Two years on, I've had so many visitors petition to join my fort for soldiery that (aside from the dwarf captains) I have two full squads' worth of mercenaries training full-time. Thus far I've defeated a giant, a cyclops, and two (admittedly small) goblin sieges with zero casualties. Not sure if it is norma to get this many mercenaries or if it's a quirk of my fort's location/world.

Edit: Actually, the face-palm is that I meant to post this in the 'What's going on in your fortress' thread.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Magistrum on November 21, 2019, 11:31:16 pm
Spent five months piercing an aquifer and setting up the main staircase just mine a room directly under it like a fool before I could breach the caverns.
May Armok give me strength. Or scuba miners.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: HungThir on November 22, 2019, 05:26:55 am
Quote from: Magistrum on November 21, 2019, 11:31:16 pm
Spent five months piercing an aquifer and setting up the main staircase just mine a room directly under it like a fool before I could breach the caverns.

these days i use marker-only designations to spell out "NO DIG" in big letters on the level under the aquifer as soon as i bust through
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: delphonso on November 22, 2019, 10:17:05 am
Someone in my legacy game did the same, and I have been grateful ever since. A good habit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Superdorf on November 22, 2019, 02:53:42 pm
I've had my fair share of floodings and leakages. Some involved water. Some involved magma. Nowadays I usually install double-locks on anything remotely related to fluid movement-- doors are your friend!

Quote from: Magistrum on November 21, 2019, 11:31:16 pm
May Armok give me strength. Or scuba miners.

This is beautiful and I am keeping it safe in my sig-storage forever. ^-^
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: xZippy on December 25, 2019, 03:42:51 pm
So I get sieged, although I don't panic because I had a nice setup. I always have 2 squads trained: one melee and one ranged. I'm sure everyone does that. I send both squads to deal with the siege but one of them gets absolutely slaughtered. Come to find out, I incorrectly set up the barracks for the ranged squad, so the game never knew they had to be trained. I may as well have sent 10 elementary school kids to Afghanistan. The amount of grieving dwarves I had was insane.

There's pieces of their body parts still stuck in the moat, as a reminder of my mistake.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on December 26, 2019, 06:34:21 am
i actually never get a military up and running because everything beyond giving them basic melee or ranged equipment includes too many delicate steps that fail once just one of them isnt done right.

it's easier to build a minecart QSP setup for the whole metal industry than setting up a military with a schedule to train 4months, be on station/patrol 4 months and work the rest of the year.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Superdorf on December 26, 2019, 11:57:18 am
All that scheduling stuff isn't really necessary.

In most my forts, I'll set up lots of melee-combat squads-of-3, set them all to train at the same one-weapon-rack barrack, place that barrack within the sole entrance to the fort, and tell all the soldiers to train always. If I need the soldiers working as haulers or something, I set all the squads to Inactive. If I want the soldiers to take a break, I remove the barracks designation for a bit. It's very convenient!

Marksdwarves are fiddly. I don't bother setting up archery ranges-- easier just to train by combat. I only ever really use marksdwarves for beast-slaying anyway, and that's a pretty low-risk task if done right.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on December 26, 2019, 02:09:42 pm
Quote from: Superdorf on December 26, 2019, 11:57:18 am
All that scheduling stuff isn't really necessary.

In most my forts, I'll set up lots of melee-combat squads-of-3, set them all to train at the same one-weapon-rack barrack, place that barrack within the sole entrance to the fort, and tell all the soldiers to train always.

I agree, scheduling isn't necessary at all.  I have about half my dwarves train 100% of the time in a barracks by the main entry, and they have no issues.  I just make sure that any dwarf assigned to the military does not have the propensity to go berserk, and there are no issues, even if they get stressed.  Worst case scenario, one will succumb to stress, stumble around for a bit and then starve to death.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on December 26, 2019, 02:50:49 pm
thanks, you gave me hope to try it again.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Romeofalling on December 27, 2019, 06:31:51 pm
I was very excited to realize that my channeling error for my magma forge wasn't a waste. Placing them directly under the blocked tiles only saves you the bother of a grate!

...

A little later, I notice that half my fort is on fire. The culprit? A !!cat!! has somehow caught on fire and is running around in what I assuming would be a very reasonable approximation of a cat with his tail on fire.

Pausing for a careful scan of who might have set the cat on fire (I first suspected a tantruming dwarf), I eventually find a dead fire snake near the forges.

*headdesk*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on December 27, 2019, 07:34:08 pm
a titan appeared and jumped several tens of meters into my animal pen to slaughter my plentiful lifestock.
atleast that gave me time to close the main gate before he could do any real harm...
still wondering if he would've been caught in my cagetraps if i had finished those on the only entrances of my animal pen... i'll never know because my dorfs were too lazy to build them!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Magistrum on December 27, 2019, 07:41:58 pm
So, you guys know how you can just set a minecart to guide until you finish the railtracks and the dorfs just pick the thing up and haul it?
I didn't. Not until some minutes ago, that is.

I could be forging equipment ages ago.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: pisskop on December 27, 2019, 08:10:17 pm
My new world gen is just over 2 gigs in size.  and thats without me playing yet....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nezclaw on December 30, 2019, 02:39:26 am
i failed to account for water pressure when trying to make a fish trapping chamber a couple z-levels below sea level. as a result, my fort flooded between one tick and the next.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Ljas on December 30, 2019, 10:58:58 am
I found out the drawbridge I was using to isolate my fort from the outside world was destroyed at some point, probably by a tantruming dwarf. The ideal way to find out would have been on my own, before the 200+ strong goblin army was walking down the ramp towards my entrance.
It's amazing how fast a handful of swordmasters backed up by the rest of the fort as recruits can melt so many goblins and trolls, but keeping the 24 depressed survivors stumbling around in miasma didn't feel meaningful anymore. Better luck next fort I guess.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Sanctume on December 30, 2019, 01:50:11 pm
Channeled stairs with boulder, and got bonked after. 

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on December 30, 2019, 04:10:15 pm
i tapped the brook carefully, leading the water ~50 tiles through an underground aqueduct to a place where it can be pumped into a small cistern and a well above it.
i even installed two drawbridges to conveniently being able to close the aqueduct at the brook or shortly before the pump... but i put the levers next to the pump, so the titam went in and destroyed the pump and both levers while both gates were open and the aqueduct is flooded.
i got no easy way of setting it dry again to reenable the gates.
i'll have to either put a windmill or waterwheel at the brook and install a series of pumps there or abandon that cistern and well and only keep tha aqueduct and keep the aqueduct levers inside the fort this time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: doublestrafe on January 01, 2020, 03:05:44 am
I finally trapped the giant cave spider who had been eating my monster slayers. With careful preparation, lots of debugging, and much stealing from Reddit posts, I triumphantly unveiled a fully automated silk farm, and set it to work. After a year or so, however, I discovered that the spider had gotten the last laugh.

The inventory screen of every one of my dwarves is now approximately:
≡Relicsparkle the Bulbous Dominion's giant cave spid
☼Relicsparkle the Bulbous Dominion's giant cave spid
≡Relicsparkle the Bulbous Dominion's giant cave spid
Relicsparkle the Bulbous Dominion's giant cave spide
-Relicsparkle the Bulbous Dominion's giant cave spid
☼Relicsparkle the Bulbous Dominion's giant cave spid
≡Relicsparkle the Bulbous Dominion's giant cave spid
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: darkhog on January 10, 2020, 04:13:13 pm
Time for my one. Minor one, but still. After years or so of using Dwarf Therapist to set up labors (because Toady's system sucks for that), I've learning about DFHack having such functionality already (u->l (small L) if you're interested:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: axemangeorge on January 10, 2020, 09:14:48 pm
Coming back to DF after 2-ish years' absence. I founded a fairly quiet fort with a healthy steel industry, studied dfwiki on how to properly outfit my military. After a few minor skirmishes with greenskins and knife-ears, developed a squad -- the Beardrippers -- of 8 Axe Lords and 2 not-quite-legendary soldiers. I decided to explore the Missions > Raid possibilities.

On my first raid, a sneak & steal, the Beardrippers were instructed to steal treasure. A week or later they returned triumphant, leading a train of 9 tame beak dogs, carrying some kind of glass banjo and a pair of troll fur pants.

In my mind, the dialogue went something like this:

Mayor: "We sent you to steal treasure and you come back with this -- garbage?"

Cutter (squad leader, legendary Axe Lord): "No, wait -- we stole these right out of the goblin leader's bedroom. Feel them! They're SO SOFT."

Mayor: "Seriously? Wait -- they ARE really soft..."

The mayor commandeered the troll fur pants (which I imagined were too large, so he had them sort of lapped over the rope he used as a belt).

Four or five missions later, I had a Legendary armorsmith cranking out unparalleled gear. I decided to change the Beardrippers' uniform and send them on another mission. I'm not sure exactly what I did wrong. The upshot is, the entire squad of Beardrippers marched off to conquer a really big greenskin settlement stark naked, hi-hoing as they stomped off into the sunset. Weeks later, two wild-eyed, mud-spattered, starving refugees staggered back to the fort. Still naked.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on January 12, 2020, 11:43:57 am
I just had a cave-in right over my quantum stockpiles.  Thousands of stone lost forever... Time to dig more extra rooms I suppose.

One insight from this, is that FPS has been completely unaffected.  So sheer # of stones (at least all on 1 tile) does not appear to affect FPS 1 way or another.  Could be due to them not wearing out like clothing / other items.

Edit: The stones were found, still all on 1 tile, but 9 spaces over. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: delphonso on January 14, 2020, 07:44:31 am
Did the stones...dodge?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: axemangeorge on January 14, 2020, 08:23:42 am
Migrant wave brought in a handful of PTSD-raddled twitchy-eyed refugees from the retired fort Tangledstockade -- all gaunt & harrowed by the tragic nightmares their lives had become. You can sorta tell it's going to be bad when the migrant walks onto the map and his first task is Go To Meeting -- unless there's some secret Alcoholics Anonymous session taking place behind the pig tail cloth bins.

Since Dwarf Therapist doesn't actually provide therapy, yet, and I've never acquired the skill of saving a dwarf from the brink of utter madness (100k stress?!?), I immediately triaged them. I imagine the Mayor standing out front with a clipboard: "So, have you ever been forced to endure the decomposition of a friend's corpse? How many times have you been jailed for starting a brawl?" etc.

One poor migrant, Urist McLoony, revealed he'd been a former resident of (no exaggeration) 10 settlements. "Former resident of... and... and... AND... also... you must be... seriously?... wait slow down I'm running out of paper here..." Two entire screens of negative thoughts. The Mayor stamped McLoony's travel papers and immediately exiled him -- now the former resident of 11 settlements. Not without sympathy, but definitely without mercy.

Come to think of it. that's probably where the greenskins recruit the race-traitor dwarves who've consistently been the worst opposition I've faced during sieges.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Eschar on January 14, 2020, 05:19:00 pm
Quote from: delphonso on January 14, 2020, 07:44:31 am
Did the stones...dodge?

It's probably a result of some sort of check to prevent objects from being in the same place that can't be, similar to the principle behind the magma piston.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Bumber on January 15, 2020, 12:26:59 am
I'm pretty sure cave-in dust pushes stuff. Odd that they'd all end up on the same tile, though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on January 15, 2020, 06:13:51 am
Quote from: Bumber on January 15, 2020, 12:26:59 am
I'm pretty sure cave-in dust pushes stuff. Odd that they'd all end up on the same tile, though.

They all started on the same tile, so it seems cave-in dust moves things in a well defined manner.  It would have been absolute chaos if all 1500+ of the stone all ended up on different tiles.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Troll_Kaiser177 on January 29, 2020, 12:55:52 pm
Been training a unit of dwarves for about two years now. Just had a group of migrants come in so I thought 'Why not make another group of Dwarves and try to make them wrestlers or something?'

Shortly afterwards I found a cute little Goblin pit, and promptly sent out me Dorfs to take 'ehm out.

Turns out I sent the unarmed and useless migrants.

What have I done  :'(
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: darkhog on January 29, 2020, 01:49:14 pm
Well, if any of them returns, their combat skills will be legendary.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Robsoie on February 07, 2020, 06:31:56 pm
When you play too much Dwarf Fortress you're starting to have Urist reactions yourself.
Facepalm of the day for myself :D
I had started a fortress, the underground part can be accessed from ramps, that's the important point for the problem, at some point after cutting several trees i started as usual to see holes in the ground once i moved the view 1 level up (i have rooms and tunnels just below) where said trees were.

So i ordered my dwarves to make floor tiles over all those holes just in case something nasty came as it would just then have to jump in a hole and land into my underground structures.

Then more time moved on, i noticed some work i had ordered long time ago weren't done anymore, despite tools required and specialist dwarves were still alive both outside and inside the fortress there were dwarves starting to be unable to feed and to drink for reason i couldn't understand.

After more time i was starting to get ready to post a bug report on mantis.
Then i saw.

When my dwarves had built floor over all of the holes i pointed them too, they also put floors over the ramps.
... man i felt like Urist :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Uristo on February 23, 2020, 02:56:17 am
I have an "above-ground" fortress dug into two opposite cliffs, with a bridge spanning between them. There is a river to the north that runs parallel to the fortress.
I thought it would be cool to dig a channel perpendicular to the river so that it runs under the bridge as my dwarves move back and forth.
Anyway, channel went fine, but I forgot to deactivate a barracks/training ground that was above the area I channeled out. Two dwarves conducting a dodging demonstration both dodged over the channel and promptly fell into the river and drowned. *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Tonren on February 23, 2020, 04:11:26 pm
Villainous facepalms:

Eye of Erushrtol: SUP NERDS! *Knocks over statues, slaps food out of dorf's hands*
My dorfs tolerate this for a few months, then when I can't take it anymore and draft everyone (all 7) into a little squad. They pick up their copper battle axes and picks and start looking pretty threateningly at the Eye, who proceeds to IMMEDIATELY ESCAPE AT THE FASTEST VELOCITY I'VE EVER SEEN A UNIT MOVE IN-GAME.

Years later, a Fist of Erushrtol shows up and starts causing a similar ruckus. Now with full suits of armor and several years of training, my dorfs walk up to it, pretty threateningly, with arms crossed and shoulders squared, like, "You'd better think twice before you make a ruckus here in Bonevault, buddy," but instead of fleeing like the Eye, this cool cucumber barely even slows down as he steamrollers my entire military and then leaves the map, as if he was just proving a point. Whatever. F U, Erushrtol!

Siege defense facepalms:

I set up a triple ballista battery, but the dorf in front fired so fast that by the time the second dorf fired, he was already in the line of fire on his way to reload his own ballista :(

(I posted this facepalm to the Dwarf Fortress facebook group and the first response was: "chunky salsa  :-\")

Wereelk facepalms:

I spent so much time and effort reading through the combat logs and trying to figure out how to get rid of my mayor, who got bit. When you try to expel the mayor you get the message: "Cannot expel: Does the expelling". So that was that. He was immobile in the hospital anyway, so what's the big deal? I was going to seal him into his manor, but he can't even get out of bed. Maybe he still won't be able to walk when he transforms. Just in case, I'll post some military dorfs to guard the hospital and minimize damage. Then:

Bembul Shmeklebok cancels Plant Seeds: Interrupted by Wereelk Farmer.

Yeah, I didn't even read the combat logs correctly. The mayor was never bit and never transformed, it was an entire other pair of dorfs who, well, I'm gonna be honest, they tore the whole fortress apart. They were, somehow, so much stronger than the wereelk that sired them. Sam and Dean Winchester could not have killed this pair of wereelk farmers. RIP Bonevault.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: TubaDragoness on February 23, 2020, 09:07:19 pm
Quote from: Tonren on February 23, 2020, 04:11:26 pm
He was immobile in the hospital anyway, so what's the big deal? I was going to seal him into his manor, but he can't even get out of bed. Maybe he still won't be able to walk when he transforms.

Werebeast transformations completely regenerate the body, replacing and repairing any damage. He would absolutely have been able to walk and rampage if he had been bitten.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: muldrake on February 24, 2020, 02:00:52 pm
Quote from: Tonren on February 23, 2020, 04:11:26 pm
Yeah, I didn't even read the combat logs correctly. The mayor was never bit and never transformed, it was an entire other pair of dorfs who, well, I'm gonna be honest, they tore the whole fortress apart. They were, somehow, so much stronger than the wereelk that sired them. Sam and Dean Winchester could not have killed this pair of wereelk farmers. RIP Bonevault.

Hooved weres are absolutely brutal.  In my current fort, a werezebra appeared.  I thought how tough could one of these be and delayed closing the gate to let a couple dwarves get in.  In the few ticks in between pulling the lever and the gate closing the thing got in.  25/26 dwarves dead in seconds.  Wtf man?

Luckily a mopey dwarf who later lost his mind survived long enough for migrants to show up.  The migrants immediately got killed by a magma man, something I'd never seen in years of playing the game.  The wiki says they're "exceptionally rare" so this ordinarily might have been fun.  Again, the lunatic was left alive.  In an amusing moment, after killing my fort for the second time in a year, the magma man went and picked a fight with a wild yak bull.  The bull one shotted its head clean off.

Now, a couple years later, with the population of my fort just barely recovered and the dead bodies from last time not even fully interred, another werezebra showed up.  Luckily I accidentally timed the lever pulling just perfectly, and because I had the trade depot in an airlock, with one gate to the outside and one gate between the depot and the fort, I trapped the beast in the depot.  I guess I have siege insurance now.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Deus Machina on February 25, 2020, 11:55:25 am
I haven't dealt with aquifers for years. Like the thought of the 'light aquifers'.
Didn't realize they also spread water down.
So now I'm force to relocate my initial workshops and temporary dorms.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: UUU on February 26, 2020, 03:47:25 am
Told my dwarfs to open up my fort after a siege had been pulverised by my Kruggsmash inspired minecart traps. As a steady stream of dwarfs dutifully marched around collecting all the goblinite I realized the job on the front door lever had been set to repeat; half a dozen haulers had already been pancaked and a couple more thrown violently around the hallway.

Before that there were the dwarfs who got stuck on the wrong side of that same bridge at the start of the siege and had no choice but to christen the trap corridor themselves (no survivors), before that there were the accidents in my river diversion program (3 drowned miners and a baby), and then before all of this I had my entire military of 5 dwarves (only competent/skilled but fully armed and armored) get wiped out by some kind of undead axe wielding "Crypt hunter" who came to steal an artifact.

Its a good time to be in the slab and coffin business
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: delphonso on March 03, 2020, 04:42:33 am
I've played DF for years.

I just spent an entire year with my main food stockpile set to armor instead of food. I spent most of the first year mitigating miasma that I couldn't figure out...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Xcalibwr on March 07, 2020, 02:56:16 pm
Every time I begin an embark I set the work orders after I disable hauling on the miners.

I set it so fast that I also pressed 'f' so the farmers would ignore food. It went on like that for a few seasons. I was frustrated and gave myself a laugh when I figured out.

Can I get an "F" for my lost pig tail crops?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: muldrake on March 07, 2020, 07:26:02 pm
Any time I build a bridge and don't find out I left it retracting until after I have connected it to a lever.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Imic on March 16, 2020, 05:32:08 am
Forgot to prospect the metals when embarking on a new fort. No iron. Ha ha ha balls to that. Then I posted it in the wring thread.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on March 21, 2020, 06:46:00 am
I quickly read a unit name as "Master of Fish" rather than what it really was: "Monster of Ash".  I kept wondering what a Master of Fish does - is he some sort of super fisher dwarf?  Does he use a fishing pole?  Or is he some sort of leader of the fish who can control them?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: darkhog on March 21, 2020, 04:26:02 pm
Now I want Toady to add Master of Fish to clear this up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on March 21, 2020, 08:08:49 pm
Master of Fish is a fish larger than every other fish in the game, and has telekinetic powers, as well as being able to turn any land it touches into water
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: BodyGripper on March 24, 2020, 11:48:21 pm
I had a ~5x5x3 hole dug right next to a big wall. The zombies came and I sent my army to go fight them.  Instead of going around the hole, two of them decided to hang from the wall and cross the hole.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: basedbeans on March 29, 2020, 07:22:16 pm
Several members of my intelligent undead military weren't equipping gauntlets and/or shields, despite having surplus masterwork steel to choose from. It was only when playing around with Therapist filter scripts that I noticed an overlap between dwarves not equipping single gauntlets and those missing limbs...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: ColdDane on April 03, 2020, 12:50:09 am
Just started playing DF and are now in my first relatively successful fort, after my previous attempt quickly was lost due to a weremarmot.

Got my 1st mood, so my 1st artifact. Hurray! What do I get? a glove. Not a set of gloves, but a left glove. 2nd artifact is a silver scepter, that I can live with! Third artifact; another glove. I check description; its another left glove!. My dwarves are morons! I guess I have to wait a few eternities for the RNG to create 2 x artifact right right gloves.

(Already love DF)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: HMD Majesty on April 10, 2020, 01:31:55 am
We are constructing a Goblinite Processing Unit, and just ran a test of the Bridges used for separating the Goblinite from its Matrix.  One pair rose towards the Centre as We desired.

The other Set retracted.

We are going to be making some Adjustments.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Wastedlabor on April 21, 2020, 01:18:17 pm
My prison is designated as a no specific deity prayer zone so prisoners can spend some time reflecting about their crimes. It's a very nice prison, with beds, tables, a barrel of food in each cell, and even a grate with access to water.

Normally it stays empty, but every now and then a tantruming dwarf ends there after punching someone, like Thickut the Potash Maker. While trying to figure out what could we do about his unhappiness, we noticed he was somewhat embarrassed about drinking water through the floor grate. Figured it was about time to upgrade all cells with their own well.

Now, from time to time good citizens also walk in to pray along the prisoners. This was the case of one of the fort's many diagnosers. In fact, he was so enraptured, he didn't even notice a worker removing the grate under his knees.

Unnecessary to say, the poor dunked pious dwarf had little familiarity with deep water.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on April 23, 2020, 10:21:46 am
A giant undead grasshopper was causing floor constructions to get suspended.  I sent the adamantine equipped mace lord squad after it.  Usually 1 hit to the head will mangle it.  But they fought it right next to the magma moat, and the grasshopper pushed 2 mace lords right into the magma like it was nothing...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Rockphed on April 23, 2020, 10:40:01 am
Quote from: Schmaven on April 23, 2020, 10:21:46 am
A giant undead grasshopper was causing floor constructions to get suspended.  I sent the adamantine equipped mace lord squad after it.  Usually 1 hit to the head will mangle it.  But they fought it right next to the magma moat, and the grasshopper pushed 2 mace lords right into the magma like it was nothing...

Please tell me your mace lords don't have admantine maces.  Those things are only good for giving to hammerers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 23, 2020, 12:33:56 pm
Quote from: Schmaven on April 23, 2020, 10:21:46 am
A giant undead grasshopper was causing floor constructions to get suspended.  I sent the adamantine equipped mace lord squad after it.  Usually 1 hit to the head will mangle it.  But they fought it right next to the magma moat, and the grasshopper pushed 2 mace lords right into the magma like it was nothing...
how big was the grasshopper? Normal size? How was it able to push two giants? Do grasshoppers learn?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on April 23, 2020, 01:14:13 pm
The mace lords have either silver, platinum or rose gold maces.  Just adamantine armor like gauntlets, high boots, etc.  The giant grasshoppers are about 3 times the size of a dwarf.  They may have just dodged into the magma, but it's been pretty consistent in my forts that any fight with the undead near an edge will result in dwarves falling off the edge for some reason.  In hindsight, I should have sent a more expendable squad.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 23, 2020, 04:06:12 pm
Oh, somehow I missed the word giant, whoops
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: pikachu17 on April 23, 2020, 06:44:11 pm
Quote from: Schmaven on April 23, 2020, 01:14:13 pm
The mace lords have either silver, platinum or rose gold maces.  Just adamantine armor like gauntlets, high boots, etc.  The giant grasshoppers are about 3 times the size of a dwarf.  They may have just dodged into the magma, but it's been pretty consistent in my forts that any fight with the undead near an edge will result in dwarves falling off the edge for some reason.  In hindsight, I should have sent a more expendable squad.
Zombies charge a lot, which if not dodged might knock back people, so there's more opportunity to fall down a pit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nightwhips on April 25, 2020, 11:55:19 pm
I am getting used to using the manager. I like it a lot. I realized I was getting lots of reports of coffins being made, and wondered... I thought I had set it to 20. It was set to infinity. I now have ~150 coffins. Ready for !!fun!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 26, 2020, 01:39:16 pm
I tend to make coffins a lot, so I have them ready and buried for when deaths occur
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nezclaw on April 26, 2020, 09:01:36 pm
Quote from: nightwhips on April 25, 2020, 11:55:19 pm
I am getting used to using the manager. I like it a lot. I realized I was getting lots of reports of coffins being made, and wondered... I thought I had set it to 20. It was set to infinity. I now have ~150 coffins. Ready for !!fun!!
that happened in dawnthunder, i asked why there were so many slabs built and one of the other participants said something to the lines of 'oops'
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: AshTheTiefling on May 02, 2020, 04:35:02 am
I have a few cats in my fortress, who not only frequently explore the haunted forest full of zombie reindeer (It's okay, the cats just freak out and run away from them, they're faster than the deer) but multiple times I've caught a confused kitty ramming her head against the door to my DAS rubbish disposal, trying to get in. If I unlock the door she runs around in there, gets bored, and heads out. I then promptly lock the door.

Once I forgot zombies could open unlocked doors and freaked out when a dwarf corpse got out of the crusher room. My miner-militia promptly dispatched it, and I made sure there were no cats wandering around in there before crushing the corpse.
 
Then the dwarf who died came back as a ghost...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: muldrake on May 02, 2020, 05:01:23 pm
I expelled some dwarf during a tantrum, which seems to have been a bad idea.  Instead of leaving the map, he climbed up in a tree and got stuck there, attacking anyone who got near him, causing constant job cancellations and apparently starting a mini-loyalty cascade which somehow only affected one or two dwarves. 

He finally pulled this stunt on the wrong dwarf and got a bismuth bronze pick to the head.

The face palm is apparently wait until the tantrum is over before expelling the dwarf.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: HMD Majesty on May 07, 2020, 07:43:16 pm
Let it be known that while one unarmed and naked Goblin dropped into a Room full of training Dwarfs is anticlimatic, five such Goblins can prove deadly.

We lost one Dwarf enroute to Our Hospital, and suspect four to six other Dwarfs were wounded.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: KassaK on May 09, 2020, 10:31:15 am
I raided a necromancer tower and get the wonderfull book "The Secret of Life and Death".

As I had many books in my fortress , I decided to build a libray, full of bismuth bronze and gem encrusted furnitures.

I was happy to see my dwarfs go to the libray and read books, So I was just watching them.

After few days, a dwarf died in my tavern, probably from alcoohol poisoning like many other, and turn to UNDEAD.

I checked why, and I saw that I have like 10 necromancers dwarfs in my fortress.

After that, that escaladed quickly, it was a FREE FOR ALL in my entire fortress : Civils VS Militaries VS Necromancers VS Undeas VS Pets VS Guests

My computer also fought, from 100FPS to 2FPS.

More than 110 dwarfs died, and only 5 survived. And they are in the hospital.

End of my fortress.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: pikachu17 on May 13, 2020, 08:39:20 pm
Quote from: KassaK on May 09, 2020, 10:31:15 am
I raided a necromancer tower and get the wonderfull book "The Secret of Life and Death".

As I had many books in my fortress , I decided to build a libray, full of bismuth bronze and gem encrusted furnitures.

I was happy to see my dwarfs go to the libray and read books, So I was just watching them.

After few days, a dwarf died in my tavern, probably from alcoohol poisoning like many other, and turn to UNDEAD.

I checked why, and I saw that I have like 10 necromancers dwarfs in my fortress.

After that, that escaladed quickly, it was a FREE FOR ALL in my entire fortress : Civils VS Militaries VS Necromancers VS Undeas VS Pets VS Guests

My computer also fought, from 100FPS to 2FPS.

More than 110 dwarfs died, and only 5 survived. And they are in the hospital.

End of my fortress.
You might still be able to get migrants, at least if the FPS is back up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: pisskop on May 17, 2020, 09:46:30 pm
All I can think of is how many sci-fi/fantasy tropes have 'forbidden knowledge' and how this is a great example.

I feel like its a great end to a story you didnt know you were telling.


To Stay Relevant:

I have added several monsters to my games, from mammoths to T-rex to audrey ii to Pennywise in demon form.  The latter is a night creature: a stingerless giant scorpion with a necrotic bite - although its very usually overkill as by the time its done wrestling you into submission it has already won.


Anyway, they function as incredibly glass cannony terrors.  A group of unarmed peasants can usually kill it with heavy injuries, as it is only a scorpion, and is so massive youd have to be blind to not hit it.  Chitin really inst that strong.  It even can overextert itself, and will do so.


So, it shows up to my 6 month old fortress.  This one is actually a child, so it was only the size of a great white shark.  It rushes my fisherman, who does the smart thing and flees across the river.  it doesnt go into the water.

Running back up to my fort entrance, it chases down a coal worker does one of it favorite things - shattering hips, cutting off hands, and popping kneecaps.  in this case it did all three, put down the dwarf to kill a puppy, and then came back to cut off its head.  Before complimenting itself on its new leather cap.

:|

So a 'seebee' comes up to it, a dwarf trained in mechanics and crossbow.  She takes the hammer from her off hand and shatters 2 legs before IT crumples the upper body, and then after I mark it for dumping it leaves the body to rot for the next year.  No biggie, its just in the way between the surface and the underground.


Its quite fun hearing a hostile creature going through a train of thought about its combat.
'i have suffered a wound.  it is annoying'
'i have improved my skills'
'i have improved my armor'
'i am exerted'
blah blah blah.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Nagidal on May 20, 2020, 09:55:02 pm
I wanted to geld a horse:

the Gelder Ingish muzol is fighting!
The stray horse kicks the gelder in the head with his left rear hoof,
bruising the muscle, bruising the skull through the (pig tail hood)!
The gelder has been knocked unconscious!
The force pulls the neck, tearing apart the fat and bruising the muscle
and tearing apart the upper spine's nervous tissue!
A tendon in the upper spine has been torn!
The gelder falls over.
The gelder regains consciousness.
The gelder is no longer stunned.
Ingish muzol, Gelder has been found dead.

 :-\ The stray horse now has a name: Igrlitast (Rivertorch)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Eschar on May 20, 2020, 09:59:49 pm
Wait a minute, what wound did he die from if the first blow to the head didn't kill him? He woke up from the unconsciousness, so it wasn't fatal, and that wound "only" gave him a spinal injury.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Nagidal on May 20, 2020, 10:03:26 pm
It seems so. It happened off-screen, so I don't know what exactly killed him. But would the horse get a nickname just to kick a dwarf? Plus, tearing apart the upper spine's nervous tissue is quite deadly, isn't it? Ingish muzol's memorial slab at his grave says: Suffocated, slain by the horse Rivertorches in the year 127.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Eschar on May 20, 2020, 11:25:20 pm
True, I think some spinal injuries lead to suffocation.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Mathel on May 21, 2020, 05:00:51 am
Specificaly, tearing upper spine nervous tissue always leads to disabling arms and legs and suffocation, bruising it sometimes leads to it.

Tearing middle spine nervous tissue disables arms and legs, tearing lower spine nervous tissue disables legs.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Romeofalling on May 21, 2020, 12:40:20 pm
A pun based facepalm, rather than the usual kind.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Eschar on May 21, 2020, 12:42:54 pm
Quote from: Romeofalling on May 21, 2020, 12:40:20 pm
A pun based facepalm, rather than the usual kind.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Eschar cancels Post: Anguish.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: pisskop on May 21, 2020, 04:46:50 pm
Quote from: Romeofalling on May 21, 2020, 12:40:20 pm
A pun based facepalm, rather than the usual kind.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Do you know the 9 steps of using a screwdriver?  The US military does.  And they had me memorize it.



My own face palm is my new migrant.  Adequate diagnostician, adequate bone doctor, competent wound dresser, Adequate surgeon, etc.  Professional Gelder.

Like - doc - what is your specialty again?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Romeofalling on May 22, 2020, 02:32:59 pm
I could only locate up to 6 on the internet. Now I insist on knowing what the 9 steps are.

Had two facepalms yesterday, one at the game mechanics, the other at my own foolishness.

I normally try to keep leadership positions for the founding dwarves,  but the migration wave included a Legendary Judge of Intent, so I gave him Expedition Leader status before he even finished arriving. This apparently angered the Outpost Liason, who immediately left, disappointed. ~facepalm~

While selecting items to trade at the depot that same day, I get distracted and decide to turn an unused corner into a temporary hospital. Hospitals, of course, need soap, which needs fat. I commence with the ceremonial slaying of the spare male cat, get back to trading, and by the time I look again, the fat has been rendered into tallow, and the tallow has been rendered into biscuits (cat tallow and dwarven ale, mmm, tasty).

Okay, no problem, I'll just kill some local wildlife....oh, look, my hunting dog attacked this elephant. She'll do. So I grab a pile of migrants, turn them into an archer squad and a melee squad, and immediately send them, without armor, weapons, or training, to go kill that elephant.

THREE MONTHS LATER, the scrum is still going on, with the elephant in the center, getting pummeled uselessly, when the elf caravan shows up, travels directly through the elephant situation without blinking an eye. I buy everything they brought in exchange for 2 stacks of biscuits (sheep cheese and dwarven beer, which sounds more like cheese sticks to me, and the cat tallow biscuits).

About three minutes later, my dorfs finally kill the elephant.  I check the logs, and it turns out that they all took a break, equipped themselves with those gorram grown elven blades, and took out the beast in maybe 4 strikes.

Goddammit.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: knutor on May 26, 2020, 08:43:54 pm
Vile Force Arrives, ohh boy its a biggie.
Dorfs all sent into safety burrow with Civ alert in M menu.
Pan to drawbridge lever, Pull it...
wait a sec.
FACEPALM.
Stressed out dorf, disassembled the drawbridge lever!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Kyubee on May 26, 2020, 09:19:51 pm
I had a facepalm earlier when a vile force of darkness arrived (Luckily it was one of those "arrives and instantly leaves" ones), and I forgot to build a drawbridge, cage traps, or a military force at all. If it wasnt a false alarm, my fort would have fallen in minutes.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: knutor on May 28, 2020, 12:57:52 am
I've gotten a couple of those false alarm Vile Forces visits, too, but in my last fort. I've begun hesitating now, to get their full transition onto map, before raising the alarms. Dunno if it changes things.

That embark, they always arrived at same place, so, I laid a cave croc pit, pool, right there, with one ramp, surrounded by stonefall traps, to help goblins dive in. For some reason they always leave a scout malingering in a pond. This worked for a bit, actually got two crocs to earn unique names, before they got wiped out.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: FreeSpace on May 29, 2020, 09:05:13 am
I'm a new player so to say.

After only 3 1/2 ingame-years I found out how to make iron/metal...
I don't know how my fortress survived that long.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: knutor on May 29, 2020, 03:44:43 pm
FreeSpace, I feel your pain.

When I started I kept thinking Charcoal was for cooking, I never looked at it as coal. Took me forever to operate a smelter. Kept digging, and digging for Bituminous Coal. Quit many times, thinking my embark was bad, it had no coal.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Thon on May 31, 2020, 08:55:05 am
Pretty much any time I'm walling off cleaned mineshafts and forgetting I'm playing dwarf fortress. I mean... why haul the damn bricks two extra meters just so you can wall yourself off in an abandoned mineshaft. Did some experiments in my earlier days. Letting them wall themselves off, does not clean the genepool to breed smarter dwarves, nor spectres of restless dwarves constantly harassing living ones. Placing memorials on the correct side of the walled mineshaft dedicated to dwarf who lost his life sealing it for the sake of my FPS doesn't help either.

Nowadays, I just facepalm, release the idiot and remember to designate and suspend wall construction on where they shouldn't stand.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Eschar on May 31, 2020, 01:13:17 pm
Why do you need to wall off cleaned shafts?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Thon on May 31, 2020, 02:58:07 pm
Quote from: Eschar on May 31, 2020, 01:13:17 pm
Why do you need to wall off cleaned shafts?

Fps mainly, I used to play dwarf fortress on and off for 2 years now and every single time my fort would get bogged down to 3 fps within 5 years. Did some research and seems like main offender is pathfinding, specifically cleaned out z levels with added 31x31 stockpiles in them ( 961 possible hauling jobs per tick x however many stockiples I set as " Everything pile, just dump it all here " hurray! ). I know about traffic zones but it's safer to simply block access so pathfinding algorithm doesn't have to calculate it. If you want a cheatier way, you can also create rock walls with dfhack tiletypes followed by revflood on the fortress side. It also turns the area to unexplored.

Playing mainly with 2x2 embarks and generously abusing quantum stockpiles atm. 50 year old fort with 170 dwarves. Fps go down to 20 only when 3 different caravans are in with their 100 traders, other times it's a respectable 40.

Edit-Grammar
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: TheFlame52 on May 31, 2020, 03:07:34 pm
Quote from: Thon on May 31, 2020, 02:58:07 pm
Quote from: Eschar on May 31, 2020, 01:13:17 pm
Why do you need to wall off cleaned shafts?

Fps mainly, I used to play dwarf fortress on and off for 2 years now and every single time my fort would get bogged down to 3 fps within 5 years. Did some research and seems like main offender is pathfinding, specifically cleaned out z levels with added 31x31 stockpiles in them ( 961 possible hauling jobs per tick x however many stockiples I set as " Everything pile, just dump it all here " hurray! ). I know about traffic zones but it's safer to simply block access so pathfinding algorithm doesn't have to calculate it. If you want a cheatier way, you can also create rock walls with dfhack tiletypes followed by revflood on the fortress side. It also turns the area to unexplored.

Playing mainly with 2x2 embarks and generously abusing quantum stockpiles atm. 50 year old fort with 170 dwarves. Fps go down to 20 only when 3 different caravans are in with their 100 traders, other times it's a respectable 40.

Edit-Grammar
Did you know that the number of artifacts in your fort is tied to the number of revealed tiles? By unrevealing those areas you're limiting the number of artifacts that can be made in your fort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Thon on May 31, 2020, 03:14:35 pm
Quote from: TheFlame52 on May 31, 2020, 03:07:34 pm
Quote from: Thon on May 31, 2020, 02:58:07 pm
Quote from: Eschar on May 31, 2020, 01:13:17 pm
Why do you need to wall off cleaned shafts?

Fps mainly, I used to play dwarf fortress on and off for 2 years now and every single time my fort would get bogged down to 3 fps within 5 years. Did some research and seems like main offender is pathfinding, specifically cleaned out z levels with added 31x31 stockpiles in them ( 961 possible hauling jobs per tick x however many stockiples I set as " Everything pile, just dump it all here " hurray! ). I know about traffic zones but it's safer to simply block access so pathfinding algorithm doesn't have to calculate it. If you want a cheatier way, you can also create rock walls with dfhack tiletypes followed by revflood on the fortress side. It also turns the area to unexplored.

Playing mainly with 2x2 embarks and generously abusing quantum stockpiles atm. 50 year old fort with 170 dwarves. Fps go down to 20 only when 3 different caravans are in with their 100 traders, other times it's a respectable 40.

Edit-Grammar
Did you know that the number of artifacts in your fort is tied to the number of revealed tiles? By unrevealing those areas you're limiting the number of artifacts that can be made in your fort.

Another facepalm for today.

Was curious why my super efficient fortress complete with an obsidian farm fueled from cave level 3 and magma layer to avoid carving mountain for stone was not getting any strange moods. Had just shrugged it off as rng.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: pisskop on May 31, 2020, 10:06:31 pm
I swapped the numbers for pop_cap and site_pop in worldgen on accident.  it was . . . busy.  200000 elves busy.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: muldrake on June 01, 2020, 03:43:09 pm
I was doing some obsidian farming to try to get the last few bits of adamantine and had a bungled water delivery mechanism that was still vaguely working.  I would just dumbly fill the chamber with water and then dig it out until it was relatively safe, then channel down above the squares I wanted to farm.  I'd expanded the water chamber because even immediately turning off the water after turning it on still led to a deluge.  So I'd close off the area and then flood it before proceeding.

I thought I'd closed off the area entirely before opening it up again (it was draining from a cavern lake a dozen or so z-layers up).  I hadn't.

Something like five z layers of fort (including lots of newly dug, beautiful, high value, smoothed, engraved living quarters full of new furniture) were nearly instantly flooded.  Only about five dwarves drowned but it is still annoying and some of the most valuable parts of the fort (including the adamantine) are still underwater.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Pvt. Pirate on June 02, 2020, 07:46:55 am
Quote from: knutor on May 29, 2020, 03:44:43 pm
FreeSpace, I feel your pain.

When I started I kept thinking Charcoal was for cooking, I never looked at it as coal. Took me forever to operate a smelter. Kept digging, and digging for Bituminous Coal. Quit many times, thinking my embark was bad, it had no coal.
yes, the "needs refined coal" was keeping me thinking i'd need coke for creation of steel.
i kept trying to seperate the stockpiles for charcoal and coke and shit like that and wondered why the coke didn't get used up...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: bloop_bleep on June 02, 2020, 03:21:50 pm
Actually, I don't think you need to go all the way to unrevealing to get pathfinding FPS benefits. If you wall it off the search algorithm won't explore that area when the search passes by.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Shdorsh on June 04, 2020, 01:23:03 pm
Not knowing about burrows and civilian alerts. Trying to cancel their jobs instead by removing designations and waiting for the right time to pull that lever and close them in...

Yeah, not very professional. Then again, I'm pretty new to df, with my longest fort running only for years (partly thanks to my region being far away from goblins and stuff) Though I am starting to get no new migrants and caravans anymore, although I used to... Not sure whether this was due to me being in this region and the version having changed things maybe or my initial fleecing of the caravans without trading any useful goods in since I lacked in critical resources. Hmmm...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: hanni79 on June 07, 2020, 08:05:09 am
My funny Mayor would really really like a

crundle horn chest in Throne Room.

Seems like he will be disappointed. ::)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Uggh on June 08, 2020, 02:53:19 am
Coming back to DF after some time, I was fooled by the new light aquifers. Easy to dig through, but they basically never stop. Deeper and deeper I dig, always smoothing and wall building for 40 levels, but still damp stone...

Then I realize, the aquifer was only three levels deep. The stone was damp due to the water trickling down from the aquifer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on June 27, 2020, 05:49:34 pm
Having dug a 3 wide ramp entrance into a new fort, one of the soil layers was so dark, it was hard to tell it apart from the void.  So after a year, I dug out that soil to replace it with a light colored stone.  Then, distracted by other fortress activities, I never did go back to build the stone walls.  2 migrant waves later, I was very confused as to why none of them would take jobs and just sat on the surface.  Occasionally penning a loose alpaca, they would only fish.  I thought something had gone wrong with the labors.  They moved as a squad, but only on the surface.  Then I remembered the plan to make the ramp more clear....  *Facepalm*

After years of generating worlds, I just realized you can pause world gen, and look around.  Then either let it continue or abort and tweak parameters.  That "Forming lakes and minerals" countdown is a big one....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Acipenser on July 07, 2020, 12:15:45 pm
I once made the mistake of learning to use screw pumps for the first time. . . by using them to pump magma. I knew the pump had to have walls on both sides in order to stop the magma from flowing back at the poor dwarf operating the pump. The problem was I didn't know what end of the pump these walls were supposed to go on. I asked my brother (who is very experienced with screw pumps) and he said "you put them at the front." Tragically, when he said "front," I thought he meant the other side of the pump, the side you are actually supposed to be standing on to stay safe. So I built this pump, fatefully unaware of the calamity that was about to befall me. I sent an unfortunate dwarf to start pumping magma and I watched as my first ever pump sprung into life. Soon after it starts, I get a message saying that a dwarf has been found dead. I look up who it was and find out it's my pump operator. Thinking that this is simply a common occurrence with screw pumps, I begin enabling pump operating on all my immigrants and unskilled dwarves. Over the short history of this fort, no one ever died due to goblins or forgotten beasts, but almost 2/3 died to that screw pump. I think in the end something like 23 dwarves died by its hand.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Folrunge on July 16, 2020, 03:17:42 pm
Soo... that one dragon came to my fort and passed somehow all of my traps laid in the entrance corridor. I closed all my doors, put a row of cage traps, opened the door, and waited for the darn thing. It never came and apparently took a liking to my magma moat. So good-bye my dreams of taming a dragon, and hello to my new "fish" in "the pond"  :D
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: muldrake on July 18, 2020, 08:13:54 pm
Quote from: Acipenser on July 07, 2020, 12:15:45 pm
I once made the mistake of learning to use screw pumps for the first time. . . by using them to pump magma.

Pretty much any time I use screw pumps at all turns into a face palm moment when I invariably screw it up somehow.  I think I am constitutionally incapable of making a pump stack that isn't hot garbage.  I'm always amazed whenever I manage to convey any amount of liquid from one place to another.  The only way I seem to be able to do it reliably without anyone dying or without somehow flooding my entire fortress with magma or water is with a bucket brigade.

Another thing I suck at is large channeling projects.  How the fuck do I do this without at some point enduring a collapse?  It's easy on paper but every time I do it, at some point, I dumbly create some catastrophe.  My favorite is one where I was doing one of these next to a set of stairs that went down all the way to the semi-molten rock at the very bottom.

Then I had my usual channeling disaster, and the dwarf responsible was completely unharmed although knocked out, but another dwarf was knocked down the stairwell by the dust, and fell over 100 z layers all the way to the bottom, leaving blood and various body parts on every single z-layer.  He was so obliterated that there was no actual "skeleton" anywhere, just stuff like back teeth and fingers. 

And somehow his blood kept showing up other places in the fort, poisoned a well, and was just absolutely everywhere. 

I guess my point is don't channel, it's dangerous.  At some point I always channel though.  I think I have lost more dwarves to channeling than to forgotten beasts.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Mathel on July 19, 2020, 09:01:15 am
Quote from: muldrake on July 18, 2020, 08:13:54 pm
He was so obliterated that there was no actual "skeleton" anywhere, just stuff like back teeth and fingers. 

And somehow his blood kept showing up other places in the fort, poisoned a well, and was just absolutely everywhere.
It is never safe to assume that "nobody could have survived that".

Perhaps he was still walking around, thoroughly mangled.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: GandalfTheGreyt3791 on July 23, 2020, 12:20:36 pm
me as newb Discovering the <?> tab I kept hitting / with out shift *newb gets roasted*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Eschar on July 23, 2020, 05:52:47 pm
Quote from: Mathel on July 19, 2020, 09:01:15 am
Quote from: muldrake on July 18, 2020, 08:13:54 pm
He was so obliterated that there was no actual "skeleton" anywhere, just stuff like back teeth and fingers. 

And somehow his blood kept showing up other places in the fort, poisoned a well, and was just absolutely everywhere.
It is never safe to assume that "nobody could have survived that".

Perhaps he was still walking around, thoroughly mangled.

"He survives this. Bing!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: knutor on July 25, 2020, 12:41:10 pm
Why is a Stone Short Sword recipe, so obvious, when a club is not? I have lots of stone. Why isnt this granite or this rock crystal fitting in this recipe. I mustn't be playing right. Oh dah. Toady meant Obsidian Short Sword.

Long before learning "all" DF's menu options and finding the Weaponsmith features, this facepalm occured. Still get flashbacks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Jundavr on July 28, 2020, 05:33:03 am
Had three dwarves with the maximum "Help Somebody" need, so I put all my grazer animals inside, with no grass, and activated Animal Care for these altruistic dwarves so they could feel happy while feeding them.

I was setting up a controlled silk farm and had spent about a year collecting cave spiders with a trapper, I had about 18 of them.

As it turns out, dwarves won't feed animal on pastures, you have to cage them. After DFhack announced that my animals were all starving, I immediately built a cage and tossed them in and they started being fed. I was busy fiddling with a mood dwarf at the time, so I didn't see until it was too late: the dwarves were feeding the SHEEP all my LIVE CAVE SPIDERS. I couldn't do anything as I watched my last spider becoming animal food.

By the way, right beside that cage was stockpile (no barrels) of cranberries, that were used only after my spiders were gobbled up...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: GandalfTheGreyt3791 on July 28, 2020, 11:57:35 am
me not knowing the < & > keys were how you move z levels. (I only started playing 2 months ago by the way)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Bumber on July 28, 2020, 06:23:45 pm
Quote from: GandalfTheGreyt3791 on July 28, 2020, 11:57:35 am
me not knowing the < & > keys were how you move z levels. (I only started playing 2 months ago by the way)

You can change keybindings from the Esc menu.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: knutor on July 30, 2020, 01:18:31 pm
Lazynewber here, I learned DF with LNP.  The z level keybind is only keybind change, I make. Like in LazyNewb, I assign the greater than and less than symbols to z level changes. Only catch is during combat, the step pause button is the period, the period on keypad. Not the period on qwert keys, which shares the > symbol.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on July 30, 2020, 03:18:52 pm
Quote from: GandalfTheGreyt3791 on July 28, 2020, 11:57:35 am
me not knowing the < & > keys were how you move z levels. (I only started playing 2 months ago by the way)

That had to have been really rough if you got an announcement that zoomed to the event on another z level.

My recent facepalm moment: Wondering why none of the dwarves with no job were building some walls, I thought maybe they just have to idle for a time before picking up the job if they don't have a preference for it or something.  A week or so later, I let 100% of the dwarves go idle with only masonry and construction enabled, still wondering why the wall wasn't being constructed.  Looking to see if maybe there's another labor they need to have enabled, I see that while I had checked construction in Dwarf Therapist, I did not commit the changes... *face palm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: GandalfTheGreyt3791 on August 04, 2020, 11:25:20 am
yeah but I ended using the units menu to get back to the wagon till I learned that and 2 wks later would the f1 key
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on August 04, 2020, 09:04:31 pm
Oh man, it must feel so liberating after all that to have simple keys to move up and down z-levels now
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: GandalfTheGreyt3791 on August 05, 2020, 07:59:48 am
yeah. I ended up asking my dad to look it up because I don't have wifi in my room
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Cpt Kennedy on August 08, 2020, 05:47:47 pm
I've been systematically de-populating a nearby necromancer tower. I have a squad of legendary speardwarves with full masterwork armor that I had been flinging at it. At first, I was just trying to provoke an attack, but then they started winning, killed all the necromances so there was just zombies with no reinforcements. I kept sending them out to level up tactician. At some point, my King was really upset about living an unexciting life. I figured the legendary squad could use some fodder, so I trained 4 squads of macedwarves to competant and as soon as I had gear for the first squad I sent out my spears and king/mace squad. It's been a month, I just got the message "[name]. prisoner, has ended a mandate."

I know we joke about killing nobility, but this guy liked robes, cloaks, and spears, things I was producing anyways, he was perfect... what have I done!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Malroc The Valiant on August 09, 2020, 09:01:39 pm
Just realized you have to construct some instruments. I have been playing for almost 2 years.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: HMD Majesty on August 17, 2020, 01:07:21 am
We were conducting a planned Cave-In, and the Miner turned up to channel away the Last Floor Tile.

He finishes, cutting off the entire Section from the rest of the Fortress, and We realize We missed half the Tiles on one Side!.

Worse still, We had to chase a Child out while the Temporary Floor Tile was being removed.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Matrim_Cauthon on August 23, 2020, 05:49:03 pm
Started a new fort for the first time in a while, thought I'd be smart and bring along ores to smelt bronze with and leave the axes and picks behind. No imported tools in this fortress!

Got everything set and then struck the earth!

Or at least I would have, had I brought any magma safe materials along, meaning I couldn't build the wood burner, much less the smelter or forge. With no pick or axe to get any new materials... I was pretty screwed.

So I took the little bit of wood I came with, built a small hovel for the dwarves to shelter in until the caravan comes and waited it out.

Did the fortress crumble from lack of food or drink?

No, I realized that the cassiterite would work to build the needed buildings with IF I marked it an non economic, got as far as smelting a pick... and then died to a giant tick before anything could be dug out.

Double facepalm.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: brewer bob on August 24, 2020, 04:04:15 am
Quote from: Malroc The Valiant on August 09, 2020, 09:01:39 pm
Just realized you have to construct some instruments. I have been playing for almost 2 years.

This happened to me a few weeks ago.

I was wondering why my dorfs are not hauling certain instruments to my taverns and temples. Then I read the descriptions of said instruments: large/huge stationary instruments. "What's that, huh?", head to the wiki to read about stuff.

"Oh, you have to build these at the location... So, I've been doing this wrong ever since the procedural instruments came into the game. Oops."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: lazygun on August 25, 2020, 05:54:28 pm
I just realised I accidentally designated some quantum stockpiles with "block all" instead of "forbid finished goods".

With the result that my dwarfs have spent the last two seasons thinking "this x+pig tail sock+x is the wrong material and quality for this stockpile", dragging it back to the feeder stockpile, putting it back in the dumping minecart, deciding it doesn't fit the stockpile, hauling it back to the feeder stockpile...

At least the feeder stockpile was small enough that not all my dwarfs were wasting their time.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Uthimienure on September 02, 2020, 02:28:22 pm
I have a vanilla fort that's 8 years in and it has been running at 35-40 FPS (my cap is 40) all along with only 60 dwarfs.
Then all of a sudden it drops to 5 FPS so I investigated and pinned the blame on the obvious: keas flying around.
After the keas stole some stuff, a couple were killed, and the rest left the map... still 5 FPS... what???
So I started fiddling with some DFHack stuff like "autodump destroy-item" which didn't seem to do what it was meant to, and "cleanowned" which did work.
I also did "deteriorate clothes (& corpses) start", but those wouldn't have an immediate effect obviously.
So I tried making "high traffic areas" for the first time, which was cool and I like it, but no speedup.
After laboring a while at the dismal FPS, I looked at the giant mole trying to come through a locked door from a cavern.

So I unlocked the door and voila, the FPS jumped back to the 30's as the mole sauntered through the door to get caught in a cage trap.
Gotta remember that pathing can cause the slowdown!  Duh!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: forumist on September 05, 2020, 03:43:52 am
Just realized my library was also a garbage dump. That's where those dead animals were ending...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Vyro on September 05, 2020, 07:00:36 am
My Weapon/Armoursmith has mooded a... lead trinket with pictures of elves. He's now depressed as hell. So am I.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: muldrake on September 07, 2020, 12:40:53 am
Quote from: forumist on September 05, 2020, 03:43:52 am
Just realized my library was also a garbage dump. That's where those dead animals were ending...

Considering the quality of the books my dwarves usually generate, mine might as well be.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: recon1o6 on September 07, 2020, 03:52:51 am
Was building a megaproject in smallhands over in community games

realised I made 2 grave errors during construction. First, all the walls were not made of solid silver like I originally intended. Second, I made part of it one tile short and had to redo the entire staircase

its in the next overseer's turn now. here's hoping >>
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: delphonso on September 07, 2020, 06:41:27 am
Keep hoping, recon. I got no promises.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: HMD Majesty on September 08, 2020, 11:44:15 pm
We have just learned that Furnaces must be designed before Construction, after spend the better part of an Hour wondering what was delaying it.

To make Matters worse, We learned it because We enabled Architecture for an unrelated Project.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nezclaw on September 17, 2020, 02:51:20 am
i thought that updating the game had broken the pumps somehow, only to realize that i had evidently hooked up a lever to the gears at some point and had inadvertently pulled it when i was looking for the one that closes the drawbridge gates during a siege.

i still don't know which ones are hooked to that bridge
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: HungThir on September 17, 2020, 05:07:47 am
Quote from: nezclaw on September 17, 2020, 02:51:20 am
i still don't know which ones are hooked to that bridge

if you have dfhack you can rename buildings (i think it's ctrl-n on the view building screen?)... i like to rename my levers to describe what they do so i don't forget/lose them later
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on September 17, 2020, 05:10:48 am
Quote from: nezclaw on September 17, 2020, 02:51:20 am
I still don't know which ones are hooked to that bridge

Another way you can use DFHack is moving the cursor over the bridge (or other mechanical device) with the 'q' view, then typing "gui/mechanisms" in the DFHack console will show you what it is linked up to.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nezclaw on September 17, 2020, 08:57:04 am
i *knew* there was a way to check links, thanks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Bumber on September 17, 2020, 03:25:42 pm
Quote from: HungThir on September 17, 2020, 05:07:47 am
if you have dfhack you can rename buildings (i think it's ctrl-n on the view building screen?)... i like to rename my levers to describe what they do so i don't forget/lose them later

You don't need DFHack for that anymore.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: muldrake on September 17, 2020, 09:12:50 pm
Quote from: Bumber on September 17, 2020, 03:25:42 pm
Quote from: HungThir on September 17, 2020, 05:07:47 am
if you have dfhack you can rename buildings (i think it's ctrl-n on the view building screen?)... i like to rename my levers to describe what they do so i don't forget/lose them later

You don't need DFHack for that anymore.

I used to be lazy about labeling things but once I had a magma cistern set to dump magma out front or to flood the fort with it.  I forgot which lever was which and had too much fun when goblins showed up.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nezclaw on September 17, 2020, 10:37:11 pm
there's no such thing as too much !!fun!!
and i gotta hand it to the complete and utter moron who decided on this pumpstack like who in their right mind would pump magma up 120... z levels... to... uh.........  :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: brewer bob on October 01, 2020, 09:37:25 am
Talking about pumpstacks:

I just finished a pumpstack for my mist generators powered by a couple of dwarven water reactors. They didn't start for some reason even after ordering dwarves to pump all of them manually. Confused, I was wondering what is wrong as they're surely built the same way as in other forts and I've had no problems with them. Spent waaaay too long figuring what's the problem until I noticed I had completely forgotten to build the waterwheels. Oops. I feel like an idiot.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: HMD Majesty on October 02, 2020, 10:29:19 pm
We forgot to finish making the Drain before breaching the Aquifer.

Thankfully, We were able to wall off the affected Section with no Loss of Life.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: alef on October 09, 2020, 03:20:44 pm
Lot of loose cut gems to be brought at the depot, no bins for some reasons. Swarms of dwarves through the three hatches that separate the depot from the gems stockpile.
DF have issues pathing the dwaves to the depot this way, and messages like Path blocked or Job item lost or destroyed starts to appear.
Just the time I see one gem has been left on top of one of the three hatches cover, and as McUnlucky tries to go through ...
"The octagon cut black zircons strikes the planter in the right lower leg, fracturing the bone through the (cave spider silk robe)!"
"The planter slams into an obstacle!"
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: HMD Majesty on October 09, 2020, 06:51:11 pm
Quote from: alef on October 09, 2020, 03:20:44 pm
Lot of loose cut gems to be brought at the depot, no bins for some reasons. Swarms of dwarves through the three hatches that separate the depot from the gems stockpile.
DF have issues pathing the dwaves to the depot this way, and messages like Path blocked or Job item lost or destroyed starts to appear.
Just the time I see one gem has been left on top of one of the three hatches cover, and as McUnlucky tries to go through ...
"The octagon cut black zircons strikes the planter in the right lower leg, fracturing the bone through the (cave spider silk robe)!"
"The planter slams into an obstacle!"

Did the Planter live?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: muldrake on October 11, 2020, 03:24:43 am
When you forget to flag rock crystals and they get cut into useless gems when you really, really wanted to make crystal glass.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: alef on October 11, 2020, 03:03:20 pm
Quote from: HMD Majesty on October 09, 2020, 06:51:11 pm
Did the Planter live?

Yes. On top of that, just setup a dump zone above and aside a ramp. The ramp is the only access to the zone. So dwarf_1 went up and did throw its garbage down the ramp he went from, while dwarf_2 who was just following him gets heavly hurt by the fallen debris.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Ozarck on October 11, 2020, 09:34:29 pm
I had a classic dwarven facepalm a few days ago.

I occasionally lost a fisherdwarf in the first cavern layer to drowning = apparently due to cave crocs attacking form the water, and, dwarves being dwarves, they dove right in to take hte battle to the crocs. Or fish. not really sure who the enemy was.

Well, I decided to attempt to recover their bodies from the underlake by using pumpstacks and building walls while the water was low enough. So I started building floors over the water, designating pillars ot be mined - the usual. Cue everydwarf suddenly discovering that a pair of -rope reed fiber sock-s had become available on the one dwarf that died on shore.

I knew there was a forgotten beast down there too, and that it was a webspitter.

But I just sat there and watched as ~130 of my ~140 dwarves marched single file to their deaths. Only the three archers did any damage to the thing, hurting it pretty bad before running out of ammo and ... charging it with their empty crossbows.

Sure I could have cut my losses, but by the time I realized what I had done, I was frustrated and irritated. Ah well.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Urist McSober on October 15, 2020, 04:29:20 pm
This one dwarf, for some reason, refused to drink. He just didn't do it. Plenty of easily accessible booze that everyone else was fine drinking, but no. Not good enough for him, apparently. Eventually he just stopped working and would walk around being annoying. The entire fortress was slaughtered soon after this started happening, so I still don't know what that was about.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Ozarck on October 15, 2020, 05:45:03 pm
Quote from: Urist McSober on October 15, 2020, 04:29:20 pm
This one dwarf, for some reason, refused to drink. He just didn't do it. Plenty of easily accessible booze that everyone else was fine drinking, but no. Not good enough for him, apparently. Eventually he just stopped working and would walk around being annoying. The entire fortress was slaughtered soon after this started happening, so I still don't know what that was about.
there are certain conditions that dwarves may acquire that lose them their appetites and taste for alcohol. You may encounter this again. It's not a bug.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on October 18, 2020, 07:07:57 am
I didn't know what a theropod was.  It sounds like some sort of snail or insect of some kind.  So the hammer dwarves were sent after the forgotten beast Obi Cuthabeomethu Oci Sanene "Obi Depthhollow the Moistness of Echoing" a towering scaly theropod.  It has two long, spiral horns and it has a gaunt appearance.  Its eyes glow fuchsia.  Its peach scales are large and set far apart.  Beware its webs!

Turns out a theropod is basically a T-Rex dinosaur.  And this one is towering with webs. 

The squad was killed almost instantaneously.  Collapsing heads into lumps of gore with every punch and strike from the horns.  Looks like that doctor's mood will not succeed, as the silk in the caverns is well guarded.  Next time, some better research will be done about what kind of beast it is before sending in the troops...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Murr2 on October 22, 2020, 07:25:01 pm
I sent every one of my milita dwarves to a forest retreat, including 3 hammer lords.

They all eventually got captured.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Ozarck on October 24, 2020, 04:42:48 am
Quote from: Schmaven on October 18, 2020, 07:07:57 am
I didn't know what a theropod was.  It sounds like some sort of snail or insect of some kind.  So the hammer dwarves were sent after the forgotten beast Obi Cuthabeomethu Oci Sanene "Obi Depthhollow the Moistness of Echoing" a towering scaly theropod.  It has two long, spiral horns and it has a gaunt appearance.  Its eyes glow fuchsia.  Its peach scales are large and set far apart.  Beware its webs!

Turns out a theropod is basically a T-Rex dinosaur.  And this one is towering with webs. 

The squad was killed almost instantaneously.  Collapsing heads into lumps of gore with every punch and strike from the horns.  Looks like that doctor's mood will not succeed, as the silk in the caverns is well guarded.  Next time, some better research will be done about what kind of beast it is before sending in the troops...
anything that webs is extremely dangerous. Could be a sack of jelly with no limbs, if it webs, and can do damage at all to a dwarf, it can kill with ease. Dwarf gets webbed, head is nice, juicy target, dwarf gets brained.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Bralbaard on October 29, 2020, 11:15:03 am
So I am in the first year of a new embark with one of ZM5's mods.

The embark is interesting. I'm at the beach, and there is a 70+ z-level high cliff above me. The only metal on the map that I'm currently aware of are a few very small clusters of ore that are on the top of those cliffs. Because the clusters are so small I decide not to build a proper stairwell, but send my miners the long way around, which is possible but it takes them days. The mining goes fine, but for some reason the haulers fail to bring the ores home.

After waiting for half a year, building extra wheelbarrows, and messing with job priorities, dumping, reclaiming etc I still have no luck. So I decide to follow the haulers around their route to see what is going wrong. Turns out they grab a wheelbarrow, then walk around the beach to the point where the cliffs can be scaled, all seems fine. But before they get there the ocean waves wash over them, they drop their wheelbarrows and return home. Someone brings the wheelbarrow back and it all repeats ad-infinitum.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on October 29, 2020, 04:03:52 pm
After 38 in game years, I finally learned that it's not enough to just assign citizens to a burrow, but you also have to go into the military menus and activate a civilian alert using that burrow.  Soo many legendary stonecrafters, doctors, and metalcrafters lost to the surface...

Quote from: Ozarck on October 24, 2020, 04:42:48 am
anything that webs is extremely dangerous. Could be a sack of jelly with no limbs, if it webs, and can do damage at all to a dwarf, it can kill with ease. Dwarf gets webbed, head is nice, juicy target, dwarf gets brained.

Now imagine that same scenario with a giant T-Rex bearing down on the helpless dwarves. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: A_Curious_Cat on October 31, 2020, 01:57:13 am
...Oops!  Wrong thread.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Thisfox on November 02, 2020, 01:33:04 am
Quote from: Bralbaard on October 29, 2020, 11:15:03 am
......But before they get there the ocean waves wash over them, they drop their wheelbarrows and return home. Someone brings the wheelbarrow back and it all repeats ad-infinitum.

Confirmed: Urist does not like surfing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: mightymushroom on December 25, 2020, 10:56:31 am
Sometimes the caravan guards give up when the fight is really one-sided:

a little more than a page of smackdown
The swordsdwarf slashes the giant cardinal in the head with her ({bismuth bronze short sword}) and the severed part sails off in an arc!
Datan Atheldakon, Swordsdwarf: I yield! I yield!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on December 31, 2020, 01:05:52 am
Why would one yield after cutting off a head?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: muldrake on January 10, 2021, 05:16:47 pm
Quote from: Naturegirl1999 on December 31, 2020, 01:05:52 am
Why would one yield after cutting off a head?
If you cut off someone's head and there's still a fight maybe you get a case of the quivers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on January 10, 2021, 05:59:50 pm
Quote from: muldrake on January 10, 2021, 05:16:47 pm
Quote from: Naturegirl1999 on December 31, 2020, 01:05:52 am
Why would one yield after cutting off a head?
If you cut off someone's head and there's still a fight maybe you get a case of the quivers.
Ah yes, arrow holders coming to life might be a problem depending on if there are arrows inside

(I know you mean like shaking in fear but this interpretation was fun too)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Thisfox on January 15, 2021, 02:07:39 pm
Quote from: Naturegirl1999 on January 10, 2021, 05:59:50 pm
Quote from: muldrake on January 10, 2021, 05:16:47 pm
Quote from: Naturegirl1999 on December 31, 2020, 01:05:52 am
Why would one yield after cutting off a head?
If you cut off someone's head and there's still a fight maybe you get a case of the quivers.
Ah yes, arrow holders coming to life might be a problem depending on if there are arrows inside

Animating biomes are so inconvenient....
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: recon1o6 on February 13, 2021, 10:36:12 am
I had a typical one, spent a while trying to download a save

realised i hadn't updated to latest version
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Jimera0 on February 15, 2021, 05:13:41 pm
Bet this is a classic. Fight off a werepig attack, manage to eventually control and contain the infected during the full moon by locking them up. Promptly forget to lock them up before next full moon. End result is a fort populated by my small (but competent and well armed) militia and nothing else. Everyone else either got killed or turned into a werepig that my militia subsequently killed.

I'm a lot more careful with werebeasts these days.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: DogsRNice on February 24, 2021, 10:32:20 pm
my captain of the guard is currently fighting for control of a dwarf they want to interrogate but other dwarves keep grabbing them and taking them to the hospital while the captain chases after them
over
and
over

I gave up on this ending so i just healed said dwarf with dfhack so they can move on so i can expel them
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Thisfox on March 16, 2021, 11:12:24 pm
It's odd, when I give dorfs a chest in their room, the chest is always left empty. They do fill the cabinet in their room with damaged and worn out clothing, but the chest doesn't have any effects like you're describing. I do occasionally get a reindeer cheese roast dropped and forbidden in a place where no one will pick it up and it can go rotten and generate purple, but it's not related to whether they have a room: Seems more that Urist was carrying it someplace when they had a fright, took a mood, or gave birth to twins... The miasma only alerts me in the worst of cases, I usually notice it in time.

If you check out the food with "loo{k}" you can un-forbid it, and someone else will just carry it away.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Ziusudra on March 17, 2021, 01:39:58 am
Quote from: Thisfox on March 16, 2021, 11:12:24 pm
If you check out the food with "loo{k}" you can un-forbid it, and someone else will just carry it away.
Not with military units that go off duty, that food is marked as belonging to them and no one else can touch it. DFHack can deal with it though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Bogotyr on March 18, 2021, 12:03:45 am
For the longest time I couldn't figure out why in my reclaimed fortress I kept running out of plump helmet spawn.  Usually I am drowning in it a few years in.  I had left an active field from the old fortress that was often flooded under puddles of water.  Urist McPlanter still decided to plant seeds there, but nothing ever grew because of the flooding. 
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Fatace on March 21, 2021, 02:07:51 am
I look away for a few seconds while possibly a scholar showed up with a book (i dont have one, so someone brought it in, had a show and tell, then left lol)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Mathel on March 21, 2021, 04:50:25 am
I like how most of your citizens are human necromancers.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Fatace on March 21, 2021, 05:29:42 pm
Yeah thats what happened lol, someone showed up with a book containing the secrets and then dipped after half the people became necromancers
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Jaylow on March 22, 2021, 03:52:21 pm
so winter came when i thought i was safe behind my walls..

(https://i.ibb.co/Gcjq7q4/winterscome.png) (https://ibb.co/t859B9T)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Byakuren on April 30, 2021, 03:35:38 am
I wanted to try to do controlled cave-in to get through aquifer

But, what happened... I not only failed at making cave-in because, I messed up layers, and digged/channeled wrong way, but I also ended up doing it too shallow.
Becuase of how I messed up, I made only one layer of ground fall. Which wasn't even enough to get to aquifer itself.

But, this is learning fun, so yay
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: papperwing on May 07, 2021, 08:23:27 am
Recently, I have found a world, where almost all the civilisation is either enslaved by goblins or in towers, so I got to play for dead civilisation. After the first two migration waves, I did not get any more dwarfs and I am currently on the population of 22 (without setting any limit in d.init). I also don't get any caravans. So basically a similar scenario to the biodome project with exception of a lot of undead waves. It is really funny because every dwarf matter and every death is really painful (12 years of waiting for replacement). Till this moment I had only four deaths, two based on unmet strange moods (I don't have wool and any wool-bearing animal was not in the vicinity).

Now to the facepalm moment: I recently found adamantine.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: 19501 on May 15, 2021, 03:14:11 pm
I recently set up a 'Dodge This' bridge (1x wide path flanked by deep chasms, with archers firing down the path & weapon traps on it) to keep the goblins at bay until I can get something funnier built.

During the first 'live-fire' test of this bridge, one of my marksdwarves decided that the whole tactic was too dishonorable for him, and so charged out to meet the sole remaining goblin in glorious melee combat. As expected, he immediately had his hairy arse handed to him, but with the last remaining erg of energy left in his crippled body he...dodged. Sideways.

Into the chasm.

After plummeting ~5 Z-levels, he slammed into the bottom floor of the chasm...which was 1 Z-level above the upper part of my base proper. I can only assume that this marksdwarf (with no metal armor) was so prodigiously fat that it was his weight alone that let him punch straight through the floor of the chasm and land in a bleeding heap in the middle of my Manager's bedroom (who slept through the whole thing).

The funniest thing was that this marksdwarf survived the fall. I suspect that he has been the butt of a good few jokes around the barracks ever since, though!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Mystic2000 on May 30, 2021, 02:09:49 pm
Had one 2 days ago that was so stupid i made an account here just to document it

To provide context, Claspfactions, first fort that actually got anywhere without me ragequitting due to something going wrong in a dumb/obnoxious way (i'm a huge noob and have no patience lol), still suffering from fallout of first siege which was a pretty bad massacre causing the survivors to suffer massively from stress and depression, was slowly getting back up and installing useful things to boost morale.

Eventually a second siege arrive, for the most part, not a big issue, for immediatly after barely surviving siege one i had set up a new invader hall with a series of atom smashers, the goblins are trapped, the smashers are activated on repeat, they get wiped from existence.

the invader hall and main entrance are both opened again, and fortress operations resume as normal, a library and temple are getting constructed, and a tunnel is set leading to the caverns for trapping a FB inside our invader hall to serve as a spittle turret

things run smoothly, until i see a missing dwarf message, at first nothing too alarming, figured it was an insane one that wandered off somewhere to die (dwarves falling into depression was fairly common by now), until i get another one, and another one, and another one...

at first too confused to really do anything, i press the units key and realise my population had crashed from 80-something dwarves to a mere 13, with 7 of them in perma-rest due to injuries, i start panicking, wondering what in Armok's name was happening

...then i look up at my invader hall

i had forgotten to turn off the smashers who were still triggered on repeat by a idling dwarf, meaning i was atomizing my own populace the entire time

soon after, my FB trapping attempt fails due to a dwarf taking too long to press the lever for the trap (one ****ing tile away from the bridges closing in time) and me lacking the planning to add "buffer" doors so this isn't an issue, and the FB kills off my remaining able dwarves, and after a huge fight with the horde of tamed dogs in the fort (who put up a lot more of a fight than i figured, the FB was in a really sorry state after that, but the thing refused to actually die), Claspfactions falls, and surprisingly, despite the frustration, i don't mind that ending, it wasn't what i expected for a fall of this fort, but the idea of a ancient monster getting swarmed by dogs and tearing it's way through them is pretty metal.

TIL that Losing is more Fun than living on forever as a defacto asylum
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Garfunkel on June 08, 2021, 11:48:41 am
Two dwarves are removing two tiles of constructed floor. Above the ocean. Tiles get removed, both dwarves drown. Can you guess what happened?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: hedgerow on June 10, 2021, 06:54:19 am
Built a workshop with a specific collision profile and it got in the way of the dwarf, so I actually lost the dwarf when he went missing, and uh, I didn't find him for like two seasons.

Kinda sad; we missed the miasma though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on June 19, 2021, 05:12:45 pm
Dumping a bucket of water into a dwarven water reactor generates a brief pulse of power, capable of washing away an entire work crew.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Additionally, a single row of screw pumps is sufficient as long as you bring power in from above.  Powering them from the side allows the water just pumped to flow back around deep enough to cause job cancellation spam.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: IRQ on June 30, 2021, 05:02:46 pm
Not exactly a facepalm from me since it was a random chance, but... I guess I created the shortest existing fortress ever.

(https://imgur.com/Vv9pHSV)

Spawned right next to a river between a bunch of crocodiles. Managed to pause after a first couple of dwarves became reptile food but the entire gameplay was something between 10 and 20 seconds.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: klefenz on June 30, 2021, 05:36:19 pm
Quote from: IRQ on June 30, 2021, 05:02:46 pm
Not exactly a facepalm from me since it was a random chance, but... I guess I created the shortest existing fortress ever.

(https://imgur.com/Vv9pHSV)

Spawned right next to a river between a bunch of crocodiles. Managed to pause after a first couple of dwarves became reptile food but the entire gameplay was something between 10 and 20 seconds.

Reminds me of

Quote from: Skuggen on December 13, 2013, 02:48:58 am
"Let's found our settlement here, right in this ogre's face."
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: DwarfStar on June 30, 2021, 05:40:25 pm
I was recently draining a drowning chamber outdoors, and since there were a couple of survivors I had a military squad stationed nearby. Experienced players probably know what comes next: winter. My squad, which had been standing in 1 and 2 level water as it was pumped out, were encased in ice. Sorry, dwarfcicles, we hardly knew ye!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: muldrake on July 01, 2021, 03:19:30 am
Quote from: IRQ on June 30, 2021, 05:02:46 pm
Not exactly a facepalm from me since it was a random chance, but... I guess I created the shortest existing fortress ever.

(https://imgur.com/Vv9pHSV)

Spawned right next to a river between a bunch of crocodiles. Managed to pause after a first couple of dwarves became reptile food but the entire gameplay was something between 10 and 20 seconds.
I had something similar where I spawned in a terrifying biome and literally the entire party was thralled by some cloud before being able to do anything at all.  Sometimes the !!FUN!! in this game is just how ridiculous the end is.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: vekar on July 01, 2021, 05:02:38 pm
Urist McBrewdwarf held a "brewing demonstration" in the farmers guild today, 3/4 of the fort showed up for it... And proceeded to give birth. Wrong kind of brewing demonstration Urist!!!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Thisfox on July 02, 2021, 06:03:10 pm
Congratulations on the fort increase. That's a lot of babies! Were any twins?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: vekar on July 03, 2021, 09:43:47 am
I honestly did not pay attention, the sheer quantity of alerts was bad enough.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: IRQ on July 10, 2021, 05:08:50 pm
Got a human bard interrogated, found out he was spying and planning to steal an artifact. Got a year in the cage.

Couple years passed, with bard being freed in the meantime but still hanging around, I get an alert that I don't have enough cages to load a trap despite making exact amount I needed.

Look around, find the missing cage dropped on the floor about fifteen steps from the tavern entrance with the bard inside. I don't know who or how but I wholeheartedly approve. Assigned him to the pig pen for now, I'll see how this develops.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Magistrum on July 10, 2021, 07:46:46 pm
You guys know how when you dig under a tree and then cut down the tree later it forms a hole in the ground that invaders can shot through later? Urist McMiner and three others sure do now.

I really thought I was smarter than this.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Keep on July 26, 2021, 04:34:01 pm
Had a fortress of one hundred and sixty-four dwarves, one of which was a necromancer. A giant winged snail breaks into the fortress kills most of my military before dying. Bad, right? WRONG! What's really bad is when said necromancer panics and begins raising thing from the dead including said giant winged snail. Anyways, snail kills the undead, the necromancer, and kills around half the remaining dwarves. leaving me with 64 dwarves and a giant bloody mess. Yay!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Thisfox on July 28, 2021, 04:17:13 am
Made a whole lot of extra coffins and activated them because the main hallway was nothing but blood and corpses after a gobbo siege. Then it turned out that what I could see was actually mostly blood and engravings. They carved the entire history of the fortress in that hallway, dorfs surrounded by dorfs, dorfs travelling, and dorfs laboring, and this one dwarf holding aloft the gemstone crown she made in the first year of the fort.... The engravings are all represented with smileys. So it was then the one or two dorfs who died who sprayed blood all over everything. I couldn't tell the bloodstained smiley faces from the dorf corpses and didn't realise my death toll was so low.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: klefenz on July 28, 2021, 10:16:55 am
Quote from: Magistrum on July 10, 2021, 07:46:46 pm
You guys know how when you dig under a tree and then cut down the tree later it forms a hole in the ground that invaders can shot through later? Urist McMiner and three others sure do now.

I really thought I was smarter than this.

Also, if you dig under a tree and leave the tree there, a flying creature can move diagonally and enter.
I learned it the hard way.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: xkcd1963 on August 08, 2021, 05:11:32 pm
One of my dwarfs had a special mood and I needed a clothier workshop. I quickly build one out of a block of ice (to easier distinguish it on the screen from more important ones), once he claimed it, the ice immediately melted due to body temperature and the dwarf went insane.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Paaaad on August 08, 2021, 09:06:21 pm
Quote from: xkcd1963 on August 08, 2021, 05:11:32 pm
One of my dwarfs had a special mood and I needed a clothier workshop. I quickly build one out of a block of ice (to easier distinguish it on the screen from more important ones), once he claimed it, the ice immediately melted due to body temperature and the dwarf went insane.

Was it inside? You were lucky it lasted even that long if that was the case. I've used a Trade Depot made from ice before on a glacier embark, but I had to build it outside or it would melt on it's own. Constructed ice walls and the like won't ever melt though.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: muldrake on August 09, 2021, 09:02:50 am
Quote from: Paaaad on August 08, 2021, 09:06:21 pm
Quote from: xkcd1963 on August 08, 2021, 05:11:32 pm
One of my dwarfs had a special mood and I needed a clothier workshop. I quickly build one out of a block of ice (to easier distinguish it on the screen from more important ones), once he claimed it, the ice immediately melted due to body temperature and the dwarf went insane.

Was it inside? You were lucky it lasted even that long if that was the case. I've used a Trade Depot made from ice before on a glacier embark, but I had to build it outside or it would melt on it's own. Constructed ice walls and the like won't ever melt though.
It sounds like it would have been luckier if it melted before the doomed moody dwarf claimed it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: brewer bob on August 11, 2021, 07:32:57 am
Was wondering why I'm getting goblin sieges with only a bit over 50 dwarves. Took me quite some time to figure out that I had changed the population siege trigger down and completely forgot it.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: muldrake on August 16, 2021, 11:34:03 am
It bugs me when I accidentally crush a dwarf with a drawbridge by pulling the lever at the wrong moment.

I always think "Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers."

It's never some worthless idiot like a fish wrestler or whatever, it's always a Legendary of some sort.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: DwarfStar on August 16, 2021, 01:18:34 pm
Quote from: muldrake on August 16, 2021, 11:34:03 am
It bugs me when I accidentally crush a dwarf with a drawbridge by pulling the lever at the wrong moment.

I always think "Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers."

It's never some worthless idiot like a fish wrestler or whatever, it's always a Legendary of some sort.

I always build my high-traffic bridges with a set of doors. Then I forbid all the doors before I pull the level.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: TheBeardyMan on August 17, 2021, 06:38:07 am
Quote from: DogsRNice on February 24, 2021, 10:32:20 pm
my captain of the guard is currently fighting for control of a dwarf they want to interrogate but other dwarves keep grabbing them and taking them to the hospital while the captain chases after them
over
and
over

I gave up on this ending so i just healed said dwarf with dfhack so they can move on so i can expel them

Too ill to stand trial? Is he by any chance a mayor who failed to get reelected?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Bralbaard on September 01, 2021, 05:06:09 pm
So my civilisation is named the accidental door, and it's symbol surprisingly enough, is also an image of a door (all coincidence and randomly generated)

(https://i.imgur.com/ZIHKkVq.gif)

This was all very fun and wholesome until the moment I started engraving my fortress. The images of fake doors are everywhere, including some incredibly well made fake doors. It has gotten so bad that in some cases even I, the fortress overseer am fooled by their appearance. This for example is quite bad, but still manageable: There is only one door into the tavern below, where is it?

(https://i.imgur.com/fxXVpzA.gif)

In the case below though, I came back to the fortress after not playing the save game for several months. I ended up wondering why my dwarves did not gather the wood on the other side of this wall, only to find out that there is actually no door there. It is a smoothed over and engraved piece of obsidian in an otherwise constructed wall. (the obsidian was a leftover from magma that spilled over the wall earlier and that I obsidianized)

(https://i.imgur.com/M9jbFkY.gif)

At some point dwarves will die because I fail to lock a door, and my civilisation will truly deserve it's name.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Thisfox on September 01, 2021, 06:06:48 pm
This is a glorious story! I have a mental image of a whole lot of dwarves walking around with bruised noses, due to a Star-Trek-like (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMX9ZAD_h3g&ab_channel=CBSHomeEntertainment) belief that the door in front of them is real, and shall open just before they walk through!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Bralbaard on September 02, 2021, 01:31:29 am
Yes, and try to think about all those poor dwarfs that try to leave the tavern after drinking one too many..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Mobbstar on September 02, 2021, 06:21:23 am
The door is right there. See? I drew it with magic marker.

The symbol is called "the Anvil of Yawning", leading me to believe that they are picky when it comes to comedy, and are not amused by dropping anvils.  One has to wonder which incident was so very underwhelming that it would turn the entire mountainhome against violent slapstick and instead towards deceptive pranks.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: PlumpHelmetMan on September 02, 2021, 02:53:25 pm
I can't help but wonder if at some point in antiquity this dwarven civ somehow got their hands on a bunch of vintage Wile E. Coyote cartoons from our world and ended up incorporating them into their mythology.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Gentlefish on September 08, 2021, 08:25:07 pm
Heh, might  be worth hiding the engravings. The tile's pretty cool for it too! Should be able to do it through the [d]esignation menu.
Title: Engravings of doors with door engravings
Post by: DwarfUli on September 22, 2021, 06:44:15 pm

That is one of the coolest DF things I have seen so far. Very funny.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Ozarck on September 22, 2021, 08:39:50 pm
Quote from: Bralbaard on September 02, 2021, 01:31:29 am
Yes, and try to think about all those poor dwarfs that try to leave the tavern after drinking one too many..
"leave the tavern??" "Drinking one too many???" "try to think?????" What language is this?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: delphonso on September 22, 2021, 09:34:48 pm
Absolutely hilarious, Bralbaard - didn't consider the engravings being sprites of doors until you mentioned it.

You can toggle it off in the inits somewhere - but I believe it just automatically hides them like the designation. So you'll still need to designate them as hidden to get rid of any current false doors.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: nezclaw on September 30, 2021, 07:14:26 pm
i pulled up an adventurer save from a while ago, and went to check out a mountain titan shrine that was right next to a fortress. i think i spawned in that fortress, seen the shrine, went haha nope, and left to go save what ended up being a bunch of hippies to get experience.

i needn't have bothered.
the titan was made out of steam
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on October 12, 2021, 09:31:24 pm
After re-learning the dig from below trick using bridges, I had to deconstruct the bridge in order to channel the earth below it.  But then forgot to re-link the lever to the new bridge before flooding the upper bridge chamber with water.  The well remains dry...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Valikdu on October 21, 2021, 06:56:26 pm
A wrestler petitioned to live in my fort, then went to the caves to punch a GCS. Guess what happened.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Mobbstar on October 22, 2021, 10:41:24 am
Quote from: Valikdu on October 21, 2021, 06:56:26 pm
A wrestler petitioned to live in my fort, then went to the caves to punch a GCS. Guess what happened.

He sonic slapped his palm into the GCS's face, killing it instantly and emerging victorious from an exemplary facepalm moment?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: delphonso on October 22, 2021, 09:10:39 pm
A water buffalo successfully defended an empty.fortress site against my.squad.

It did this defense successfully 4 times.

This water buffalo has killed 7 dwarves.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: brewer bob on October 23, 2021, 07:25:44 pm
Water buffalos are no joke.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Mobbstar on October 24, 2021, 04:52:57 am
Quote from: brewer bob on October 23, 2021, 07:25:44 pm
Water buffalos are no joke.

Wat er buffalos then?
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on October 30, 2021, 05:16:34 pm
After clear-cutting the surface, the woodcutters were enabled for wood hauling.  5 years later, the surface was again designated to be clear cut, but for 5 full months, the woodcutters would just cut 1 tree, then spend the bulk of their time just hauling logs...  Not terribly tragic, but it has put a stop to the willow wood construction project.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: HMD Majesty on October 30, 2021, 05:32:55 pm
We forgot to assign Fish Cleaning when We started Our Fishing Industry.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on October 30, 2021, 05:37:31 pm
Quote from: HMD Majesty on October 30, 2021, 05:32:55 pm
We forgot to assign Fish Cleaning when We started Our Fishing Industry.

There must have been quite a miasma situation before too long.  Hopefully no one was too traumatized by the stench of rotten fish.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: HMD Majesty on October 30, 2021, 08:30:13 pm
Quote from: Schmaven on October 30, 2021, 05:37:31 pm
Quote from: HMD Majesty on October 30, 2021, 05:32:55 pm
We forgot to assign Fish Cleaning when We started Our Fishing Industry.

There must have been quite a miasma situation before too long.  Hopefully no one was too traumatized by the stench of rotten fish.

That would have alerted Us within the Year.  Alas, We keep Our Fishing Industry above Ground so as to prevent Miasma!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on November 18, 2021, 05:58:25 am
I tried linking the masterwork steel sword stockpile and the gold bar stockpile to the magma forge and do some gold studding, but a few lead grates were inside the workshop and got studded with gold instead of the swords...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: DwarfUli on November 24, 2021, 10:34:42 am
I just had one when the wiki told me:

"A properly-managed and fully-utilized 3x3 plot growing plump helmets can produce an average of up to 2700 units of alcohol per year, enough to provide food (through booze-cooking with seeds) and drink for a fortress of 95 dwarves."  :o

I have been starting off with 5x6 plump helmet plots for my 10-20 dwarf, year one-two fortresses. The farm plots look so small for all those hungry and thirsty dwarves. I was wondering why, even when bringing 180x plump helmet spawn, I would get messages that I was out of spawn after 2-3 seasons. Guess my two, 5x6 plots explains my food and booze explosions.

I assume food will go bad, hopefully the booze stays fresh..
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Thisfox on November 25, 2021, 03:30:43 am
If the food is stored in containers (barrels or pots) and those containers are stored in a food storage area then the food will no longer reach an expired date or break down.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Paaaad on November 25, 2021, 06:31:33 pm
Ezar Sokan, "The Solider of Phrases"... A Wombat bone Battle Axe. Wombat bone. Worth 28,080 at least, but right into the vault with that and I see no reason for it to ever come back out.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Eschar on November 28, 2021, 03:06:18 pm
Quote from: DwarfUli on November 24, 2021, 10:34:42 am
[farming logistic woes]

I recently discovered the same stuff

Quote from: Paaaad on November 25, 2021, 06:31:33 pm
Ezar Sokan, "The Solider of Phrases"... A Wombat bone Battle Axe. Wombat bone. Worth 28,080 at least, but right into the vault with that and I see no reason for it to ever come back out.

The reason is if you really really want someone killed with style.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Uthimienure on November 28, 2021, 03:18:30 pm
Quote from: Paaaad on November 25, 2021, 06:31:33 pm
Ezar Sokan, "The Solider of Phrases"... A Wombat bone Battle Axe. Wombat bone. Worth 28,080 at least, but right into the vault with that and I see no reason for it to ever come back out.
I would assign that to an individual that needed "special treatment" and send them against a difficult foe, just to see how well that axe works.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Paaaad on November 28, 2021, 10:52:34 pm
Quote from: Eschar on November 28, 2021, 03:06:18 pm
Quote from: Paaaad on November 25, 2021, 06:31:33 pm
Ezar Sokan, "The Solider of Phrases"... A Wombat bone Battle Axe. Wombat bone. Worth 28,080 at least, but right into the vault with that and I see no reason for it to ever come back out.

The reason is if you really really want someone killed with style.
Quote from: Uthimienure on November 28, 2021, 03:18:30 pm
Quote from: Paaaad on November 25, 2021, 06:31:33 pm
Ezar Sokan, "The Solider of Phrases"... A Wombat bone Battle Axe. Wombat bone. Worth 28,080 at least, but right into the vault with that and I see no reason for it to ever come back out.
I would assign that to an individual that needed "special treatment" and send them against a difficult foe, just to see how well that axe works.

Eh, what to do with it is kind of a moot point now anyway, since I just gave up on that fort and it's werebeaver problem that I clearly wasn't going to be able to get rid of. Would have been just fine if they hadn't sent the same outpost liaison back...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: axemangeorge on December 15, 2021, 11:21:22 pm
Quote from: HMD Majesty on October 30, 2021, 05:32:55 pm
We forgot to assign Fish Cleaning when We started Our Fishing Industry.

This happened to me once, only I didn't figure it out till I'd inadvertently drafted a necromancer into a melee squad... fighting goblins, fighting goblins, fighting -- zombie mussels? Seriously, 5 full squads stomped and smashed well over 100 clattering reanimated molluscs, three dwarves went completely insane and the clean-up took months. Nobody ate seafood for a long time after that.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: axemangeorge on December 15, 2021, 11:24:02 pm
Quote from: Paaaad on November 25, 2021, 06:31:33 pm
Ezar Sokan, "The Solider of Phrases"... A Wombat bone Battle Axe. Wombat bone. Worth 28,080 at least, but right into the vault with that and I see no reason for it to ever come back out.

For a good time, assign this legendary weapon to your hammerer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Thisfox on December 16, 2021, 10:04:48 pm
Quote from: axemangeorge on December 15, 2021, 11:24:02 pm
Quote from: Paaaad on November 25, 2021, 06:31:33 pm
Ezar Sokan, "The Solider of Phrases"... A Wombat bone Battle Axe. Wombat bone. Worth 28,080 at least, but right into the vault with that and I see no reason for it to ever come back out.

For a good time, assign this legendary weapon to your hammerer.

To be fair, real-world wombats are made of depleted plutonium and can go through your fence (or your truck) like a tank. They don't call them dif' crackers for nothing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Bralbaard on January 13, 2022, 02:05:17 pm
For some reason my dwarves have chosen to include great axes in their standard embark equipment instead of regular battle axes. Of course nobody can weild them. Not sure why, the game is unmodded.

Guess I'm sending the miners to find ore, I already have three logs from the wagon.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: hedgerow on February 04, 2022, 04:44:16 am
I noticed there were three unhappy dwarves ruining my good time: dwarves that were insane; dwarves that were starving themselves; and dwarves that were berserk.

The berserk dwarves ruined it for everybody because then I had to start locking them in the vault.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: muldrake on February 05, 2022, 07:12:59 pm
Quote from: Bralbaard on January 13, 2022, 02:05:17 pm
For some reason my dwarves have chosen to include great axes in their standard embark equipment instead of regular battle axes. Of course nobody can weild them. Not sure why, the game is unmodded.
You could keep them for humans but they're really not of very good quality.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: comfyBruh on February 20, 2022, 02:27:43 pm
This morning I lost 25 dwarves from a ten goblin siege. They had superior armor. I told my units to become active. I designated a large burrow with plenty of supplies. as soon as the first dwarf went down they all fled outside to collect body parts and armor and random refuse.

I later realized that activating a unit does not activate the burrows. You must do those separately.................................. Now I know.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: muldrake on February 21, 2022, 02:22:05 pm
Quote from: comfyBruh on February 20, 2022, 02:27:43 pm
This morning I lost 25 dwarves from a ten goblin siege. They had superior armor. I told my units to become active. I designated a large burrow with plenty of supplies. as soon as the first dwarf went down they all fled outside to collect body parts and armor and random refuse.

I later realized that activating a unit does not activate the burrows. You must do those separately.................................. Now I know.
I'd also make a guess you should also bring up the standing orders with O and check for refuse/body parts collection options and turn those off during a siege.  The default setting is, I believe, that they don't collect refuse from outdoors.  If you have to, manually forbid the offending objects.  I think the default for body parts is they do collect them.

I generally only rely on burrows to get civilians to safety.  They're too confusing and unpredictable to use for much else, at least imo.  I also use them sometimes for very specialized purposes.  For instance, I'll burrow a strand extractor in a complex with their palatial suite of rooms, the craftsdwarf's workshop, and stockpiles for raw adamantine and the resulting threads.  Or similarly a particularly important lever puller.

Another problem with burrows (even if you activate them) is the dwarves will still engage in the dumb behavior when body parts and other crap gets into the burrow area itself.

Trying to control dwarves in combat is one of the more frustrating things in the game.  You can have one where 10 dwarves in crappy armor and junk weapons take on 100 goblins and beak dogs and trolls and smash them, then have another where 5 goblins somehow wreck your elite squad.  The latter is usually due to some facepalm moment of course (gee maybe I should have actually hooked up that bridge to the lever).
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: RLS0812 on May 11, 2022, 07:24:39 pm
My grand library is now filled with over 160 'borrowed' artifact books. All of my dorks have suddenly taken a keen interest in reading.
 At any given time, my workforce is 15% to 20% of the population and none of the important jobs are getting done.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: TheFlame52 on May 12, 2022, 04:36:27 pm
Quote from: RLS0812 on May 11, 2022, 07:24:39 pm
My grand library is now filled with over 160 'borrowed' artifact books. All of my dorks have suddenly taken a keen interest in reading.
 At any given time, my workforce is 15% to 20% of the population and none of the important jobs are getting done.
They'll read until each of them has read every book in the library once.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: spinnylights on May 25, 2022, 01:52:21 am
I nearly lost a fort the other day to one of the silliest possible mistakesI accidentally pressed "A" for "retract" instead of "X" for "raise to the south" when building a drawbridge for a cavern entrance, and foolishly didn't bother to test the bridge (never again!), so I only found out my mistake when a fire-breathing lobster beast turned up. This was quite early still and none of the dwarves had particularly strong combat skills or kit, especially for penetrating the thick chitin exoskeleton of the lobster. I drafted everyone who knew anything about fighting into a few hasty squads and sent them to fight it, and when things started looking grim for them I threw the rest of the adults into the militia to help out. At the eleventh hour a human swordsman somehow managed to show up and petition for residency amidst the chaos, and he turned out to have legendary skill, so he was able to valiantly slay the abominable lobster. Unfortunately, this was after all the adults were dead, leaving only two children on the top floor who managed to escape the flames. The swordsman decided his petition for residency had been rejected even though I'd accepted it (I guess since all the administrators died around the same time? there was no mayor yet), but although he was very cross about being turned down he continued to stick around the fort. I read this as him taking pity on the two poor dwarven orphans and deciding to care for them in the burnt-out ruins of the fortress.

Several months passed with the miasma of rotting flesh filling the halls and the ghosts of slain dwarves moaning about as the children and human swordsman lived off of the stockpiled food and drink and wandered around. At one point the outpost liason came and then left in a huff because no one would meet with him, and the accompanying merchants set up like normal in the trade depot surrounded by gore and ashes and waited as if nothing was wrong. Finally in the dead of winter a party of migrants arrived to find a Moria-esque house of horrors waiting for them, and being the dogged creatures they are they immediately set to giving all the dead a proper burial and cleaning all the blood off the walls. If only we could all have such fortitude.

Years have passed in-game since then and the fortress is thriving. The swordsman has since left for other climes, so I suppose he felt he had done all that was called for. The kids haven't taken their experiences too hard so hopefully they'll make it to adulthood with their sanity intact, as they're the only ones that can keep the memory alive of life before the lobster.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Haggoroth on June 22, 2022, 07:29:21 pm
I built a new fort this week.  Outside I had a few standing pools of water that I wanted to remove, plus I wanted to get some fresh water down below my Hospital to create some wells for ease of access once things started going poorly.  So I dug some tunnels to each of the 3 pools and to the nearby river, then I hollowed out everywhere I wanted the water to go along with the final cache of water under the Hospital.  Finally, I went up to the top and channeled in the 4 spots needed to drain the standing ponds and connect the river.  Finally, I floored over the the pools.  This is where I messed up, because I only floored over 2 of the 3 pools.

A couple years later a Cyclops shows up.  Now, the way I usually build my forts is I have a wide open 3 wide entrance with a drawbridge over it that leads right to my Trade Depot so merchants don't have to travel far.  When enemies show up, I pull a lever and the drawbridge closes into a wall revealing a tunnel that leads into traps and after the traps, my training rooms full of battle ready dwarven warriors.  Problem is, there was a dwarf that didn't make it into the fort in time and met the Cyclops on the field of battle near the drained pond.  The dwarf fled from Cyclops down into the dry pond and into my fortress, the Cyclops chased the dwarf into my fortress and was coming out essentially straight on top of my hospital and farms.

This was my face palm moment.

Luck smiled on me however because I activated my oldest squad and sent them to deal with the Cyclops and the fight went very very well.  The first dwarf that got to the beast was wielding a silver war hammer and the first swing was from the Cyclops, the dwarf dodged back away from the blow.  Upon closing the distance, the war hammer connected with the Cyclops' knee and brought the beast to the ground.  The dwarf proceeded to cave in the Cyclops' head with repeated blows and the great foe was slain before the 2nd dwarf even arrived on site to help.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Urist McShire on June 27, 2022, 07:31:34 pm
Normally, I am very good whenever a siege shows up, especially when I want to make sure that the enemy runs straight through my trap corridor and gets obliterated by all of my clear glass large serrated disks that also break as they run through them, but they're clear glass, a totally renewable resource from all the wood and sand on my map, so who cares?

I had everything forbidden so nobody would try to fetch Goblin body parts, corpses, or dropped items. I had the traps forbidden so nobody would try to unjam them or pick up any discarded broken pieces and mechanisms when the trap falls apart. I had all the logs on the surface that my dwarves had been quantum stockpiling through the wonders of minecarts and single-tile stockpiles forbidden so nobody would try to grab any and bring them back.

What I did not do was make a burrow that encompassed everywhere "inside" that excluded the outdoors and the trap corridor, and I forgot to disable autochop. So there's my Great glassmaker, who is also a woodcutter, running past my trap corridor and down the tunnel straight into the path of the gobbos on his way to cut down a tree that just grew tall enough to become a tree and become eligible for cutting down, since I have no limits on my stored logs. Every tree must be cut down!

He was just fulfilling his duty necessary to keep those prissy elves we were already at war with since embarkation mad, but he ran straight into the goblins while doing so.

Fortunately, after quickly realizing my mistake and burrowing the entire underground, he managed to survive by turning back, but he did get his stomach cut open and some bones broken, and there's still a silver bolt stuck in his chest, but he didn't lose any limbs and managed to lead the goblins back through the trap corridor where all but one died, and the one spearman that didn't was killed by a swordsdwarf as he tried to retreat.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on July 31, 2022, 09:27:27 am
I pulled some levers in the wrong order and now the obsidian farm has water where the magma should be.  Building an auxiliary drain for that now...
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: voidOctopus on August 02, 2022, 12:08:33 pm
I didn't understand why none of my dwarves were making charcoal for a good chunk of time, before I realized that I had only enabled the furnace operator labor, not the wood burner one.... to be fair, I hadn't played in a while  :P
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on August 07, 2022, 07:27:54 am
Having a central lever room to control everything is nice and convenient until a very fast dragon sprints directly to it and melts half of them...

I also just found this:
Quote from: therahedwig on November 27, 2018, 02:09:05 pm
You can actually modify the pause behaviour by modifying the announcement.txt(just remove the :P:R from Cave Collapse)
smh.  Soo many forest fires dealt with manually unpausing way too many times
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: muldrake on August 07, 2022, 12:11:45 pm
Quote from: Schmaven on August 07, 2022, 07:27:54 am
Having a central lever room to control everything is nice and convenient until a very fast dragon sprints directly to it and melts half of them...
Or a pissed off dwarf tantrums and starts randomly pulling them (maybe it wasn't a great idea to put them all in the tavern).  Or a troll wrecks them.  Building destroyers will do a number on these things.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Ziusudra on August 07, 2022, 09:18:30 pm
Quote from: Schmaven on August 07, 2022, 07:27:54 am
I also just found this:
Quote from: therahedwig on November 27, 2018, 02:09:05 pm
You can actually modify the pause behaviour by modifying the announcement.txt(just remove the :P:R from Cave Collapse)
smh.  Soo many forest fires dealt with manually unpausing way too many times
DFHack's nopause (https://docs.dfhack.org/en/stable/docs/Plugins.html?highlight=nopause#nopause) is easier to toggle.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: BelligerentlyLiterate on September 14, 2022, 03:59:59 pm
One day a Bronze Colossus showed up to one of my longest-running forts and I panicked. I threw squad after squad at it with steel gear hoping to chip away at it before it made it inside and completely mulched my civilians, but it just pulverized all my veteran squads, then all my regulars, then my recruits...

Finally after like 90% of my military had been slain, it finally made it in the front door... and immediately stepped in a cage trap I forgot I set and got stuck. I literally could have done nothing and the problem would have solved itself. Instead I just mulched my entire army for no reason.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: muldrake on September 15, 2022, 01:03:01 am
I did something similar with a dragon except I decided to let it in the front gate because it was fairly tight quarters with areas going off to the sides where I could place squads and attack it from multiple directions.  This was fairly brutal and deadly but killed it quickly.

But the front gate was where I'd built most of my early workshops.  Out of what I had at the beginning.  Which was wood.  In addition to the wood stockpiles.  At least I'd moved most of the booze underground but the rest of this stuff burned for over a month and there's still something on fire somewhere generating smoke about two years later.

This was also the third time that the entire map above ground got set on fire and burned to the ground (other than one corner across a brook).  But I have gotten used to that.  Last two times was magma crabs escaping the volcano.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: HMD Majesty on November 11, 2022, 02:54:43 pm
We installed a new Magma Glass Furnace next to the one a moody Dwarf was using, and the Drop in Magma while the Pipeway filled caused that Furnace to temporarily lose Power

The Dwarf is now Insane.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: spikethehobbitmage on November 11, 2022, 06:34:14 pm
My current fort has had a string of them, mostly water related.

I like the site and have a pre-embark backup, so I'm going to restart in place.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: FenrirWoof on December 11, 2022, 03:14:54 pm
I... I didn't think that aquifers could leak DOWNWARD through z-levels.

Thus I was asking "Does Chalk have light aquifers" on Steam.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: shadowelite7 on December 13, 2022, 11:43:37 am
just starting the Steam version of DF. I did not have food or alcohol to give to the Dwarfs. After watching videos of other player's playthroughs, you can make a Farm underground. I found Red Sand when mining down and realized Plump Helmet was a plant, not an actual Helmet to wear. I survived my first winter and am prepared for what may come next while learning new things along the way.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: feorh on December 22, 2022, 06:39:40 am
I removed the ramp to the top of my fort (it's on a hill) to have a protected pasture, etc...
Cyclops: "Hold my guava beer".
Me: *facepalm*
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: ArmokGoB on December 22, 2022, 08:39:05 am
I built my fort in a cavern layer. I found out that it was the second cavern layer when I mined upwards into an underground ocean in the first cavern layer.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: notquitethere on December 22, 2022, 12:56:10 pm
Quote from: ArmokGoB on December 22, 2022, 08:39:05 am
I built my fort in a cavern layer. I found out that it was the second cavern layer when I mined upwards into an underground ocean in the first cavern layer.
That's such a wonderful image.


I've been playing a classic fort, dug out of a mud hill with a simple wall around in a tundra environment. Had a hydra camp outside the wall and I made the classic mistake of opening the floodgate just to pick up this one little thing, and then my entire fort full of otherwise idle dwarves streamed out at once, to meet the hydra head on. I think only 30 or so died before my ex-expedition leader put in the final kick to kill the thing.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on December 22, 2022, 09:24:54 pm
Some migrants arrived, and were getting slaughtered by giant agitated birds with no path into the fort.  A hatch was unlocked to let some try to make it inside safely, but instead, about a dozen dwarves immediately ran outside and also got killed.  The hatch was again locked, and all hope for the surface lost.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: horribleflesheater on December 27, 2022, 01:17:43 pm
Ran a ten year fortress focused entirely on making a living looting abandoned sites and pillaging weak settlements. First year, we got ourselves a manual on the secrets of life and death from a tower- and before I had time to quarantine it, our fortress metalsmith had been necrotized. Some time goes by, we have a library right by the trade depot specifically for quickly selling the great volume of written content we acquire daily. The necromancer by now has been promoted to a count, and as a side hustle I've made him his own private, quarantined library to make copies of the secrets of life and death- which has been relocated from being hidden in a wall behind the wine casks to his very own tower.

The trade caravan rolls up, and I have all the copies moved to the depot thinking it'd be cheeky to sell the immortality ticket as an export good every year. Except for some reason, they're under an export prohibition. No matter, I sell the remaining books. Well, I didn't consider that they wouldn't be returned to the quarantine library specifically, and I didn't forbid them. They wound up in the general circulation, and half of my rogues are now undead wizards.

Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on January 01, 2023, 06:48:44 am
After carefully trading to the maximum weight allowance of the caravan, I accidentally right clicked, and had to re-do everything.  Then, after getting everything just about designated for trade again, tried to type "leather" into the search bar, but the cursor wasn't in the window, so it closed the trade screen, and I had to re-do everything.  The letters L, T & H will immediately close the trade screen.  Search at your own peril.  Facepalming because the accidental right clicking has happened many times.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Flying Dice on January 01, 2023, 11:06:16 pm
A visiting marksdwarf decided to shoot down a human swordsman in my tavern for no apparent reason. He managed to miss the first four shots, crippling a dog, blowing a child's brains all over the floor, and kneecapping an off-duty militia trainee in the process. He snapped off a few parting shots to badly wound the human while fleeing into the spiral stack and ducking out at the next level up to hide from my first responders. The latter were composed of my militia commander and half his squad of legendary soldiers who did their thing, breaching and clearing the unfinished hab block in hot pursuit, bolts bouncing off of their steel plate. They splattered the miscreant across most of the room he was hiding in, then noticed that his murder weapon was a very nice artifact crossbow.

Genuinely befuddled as to what this guy was thinking. There wasn't any congestion, he just opened fire at another visitor from across the main dining hall. Best I can reckon is that something happened out in the world with their civs/groups. Got a sweet artifact crossbow out of his attempt to be a spaghetti western protagonist, at any rate.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Bumber on January 13, 2023, 03:59:54 pm
My military dwarves have equipped my vials (one being full of golden salve) and poured booze in them.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: feorh on February 07, 2023, 04:40:52 pm
My current fort features a z-level wide maze.
In the middle of it there's a battlement for the dwarves to practice shooting and battlements to repel the invaders.
So, this undead/gobbo siege comes.
It took them over 10 irl hours to get through the maze (I got 7 fps).
When they were passing the battlements my dwarves en masse went for a fresh supply of bolts...
Then, of course I found that there's a crack in the maze which allows the invaders to skip 50% of the most dangerous battlements section...
Now, 10+ hours later the first, most agile and fleet of foot, stragglers are getting to my melee squads.
You know what they have done?
After one gobbo had died, most of his buddies turned around and went looking for the exit!!!
I am FUMING here.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: sniper_231996 on February 16, 2023, 03:24:41 am
This sure is a strong facepalm :
https://youtu.be/I4ZJp_2qEb4
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: MaximumZero on February 16, 2023, 10:05:38 am
ohno
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: palenerd on February 20, 2023, 08:37:29 pm
Evil embark, reanimating and thralling. I discovered that infernal mist thralls could fly when one flew down my half-completed above-ground-underground-vegetable-patch controlled cave-in apparatus, proceeded to tear out the floors I'd constructed to seal the fort, and promptly got swarmed by my horde of 27 children. The children won. Alternate routes to the surface are now better guarded.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: EmperorCoolidge on March 29, 2023, 12:31:58 pm
"Why won't the cistern floodgate close, I keep pulling the lever?"
*elsewhere, by a disused volcano tap*
!!Urist McFarmer!! cancels dump item: Dangerous terrain!

I really should deconstruct that lever
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: muldrake on April 15, 2023, 05:43:33 pm
I think my favorite act of jackassery was for some incomprehensible reason, I diverted an entire river into my fort and drowned everyone nearly instantly.  I have definitely had some magma indiscretions as well, but never to the extent of wrecking the entire fort.

I was trying to create a drowning chamber. . .except it turned out to be everyone's living quarters.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: sbritorodr on April 25, 2023, 03:22:37 pm
Started to shape my fortress. Had the newbie decision of creating a huge hall for stockpiling stone. Almost passed like two years moving rocks, then I realized you could create wheelbarrows... after having years of not doing anything useful lol.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: lazygun on July 08, 2023, 10:54:52 am
I just drowned my outpost liaison. Pulled the lever to retract the bridge over the moat after the traders all reached the depot. Apparently the liaison picked the wrong time to try to leave the fortress.

That bridge wasnt even planned to exist. Its just that everyone keeps spawning on the inaccessible 1 tile wide strip of land between the moat and the edge of the map (1x1 embark) instead of on the far side of the river.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: sodafoutain on August 09, 2023, 11:07:22 am
I placed a statue right in front of the entrance to the uncooked food stockpile, somehow. I thought it was dropped there erroneously by some dwarf who was putting it in the guard garrison or somesuch. I spent 3-4 years IGT wondering why all the meat was rotting in the butcher's shop.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Crystalizedmire on August 14, 2023, 11:42:57 pm
I realized that vampires could still climb up the well, so I kept using dfhack teleport to dunk her into the well
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Orange-of-Cthulhu on September 06, 2023, 06:14:48 am
Built a drawbridge where the parley-seeking goblins usually stand. Some goblins show up, I set the bridge lever to get pulled on repeat.

So they retreat when enough of them got crushed - but one badly injured goblin is sitting in a tree. The guy cannot stand or grasp due to spnal injury and has an open artery.

But he's unreachable in the tree, neither melee dwarves nor marksdwarves can get at him. Nothing works, the terrain is irregular so it is hard to undermine it with the miners spotting the goblin though holes or meeting the aquifier.

The dying goblin essentally grinds the fort through a halt while he's sitting paralyzed in the tree bleeding to death. He's caused the fort way more problems than the last attack by a web-slinging forgotten beast made of lead. It ends when he FINALLY bleeds to death in his tree.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Bumber on September 06, 2023, 06:31:04 pm
Quote from: Orange-of-Cthulhu on September 06, 2023, 06:14:48 am
But he's unreachable in the tree, neither melee dwarves nor marksdwarves can get at him. Nothing works, the terrain is irregular so it is hard to undermine it with the miners spotting the goblin though holes or meeting the aquifier.

Ballista aimed at the tree could have been an option.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on October 22, 2023, 06:51:24 am
Not taking advantage of the Save option, I completed an extensive trade, designated and redesignated along the edge of an aquifer all the way to a map edge, and sorted a large wave of migrants into good roles for them.  Then the game crashed as I was screwing around with DFHack.  In the future, each task of that scope probably warrants a manual save before starting on the next one.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Bralbaard on November 23, 2023, 02:00:06 am
The map for Wiselanterns is partly reanimating biome, but I've hardly noticed in the ten years the fort have existed.

Today however I found out that the old Queen's luxurious tombs extend under the reanimating part of the map. :o
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: PlumpHelmetMan on November 23, 2023, 08:47:21 pm
Just set my miners to work carving out an epic skull-shaped temple to my civ's god of death. However, I realized as they got done channeling out the holes for the eye sockets and nose that I left them without any way of climbing back out again (as I decided to make the holes 2 z-levels deep). Unfortunately now I'll have to compromise the temple design slightly just to designate a path so they can mine their way to freedom. :-\
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Schmaven on November 23, 2023, 09:14:10 pm
Quote from: PlumpHelmetMan on November 23, 2023, 08:47:21 pm
Just set my miners to work carving out an epic skull-shaped temple to my civ's god of death. However, I realized as they got done channeling out the holes for the eye sockets and nose that I left them without any way of climbing back out again (as I decided to make the holes 2 z-levels deep). Unfortunately now I'll have to compromise the temple design slightly just to designate a path so they can mine their way to freedom. :-\

No sacrifices for the temple to the god of death?!
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: PlumpHelmetMan on November 24, 2023, 02:21:11 am
Quote from: Schmaven on November 23, 2023, 09:14:10 pm
Quote from: PlumpHelmetMan on November 23, 2023, 08:47:21 pm
Just set my miners to work carving out an epic skull-shaped temple to my civ's god of death. However, I realized as they got done channeling out the holes for the eye sockets and nose that I left them without any way of climbing back out again (as I decided to make the holes 2 z-levels deep). Unfortunately now I'll have to compromise the temple design slightly just to designate a path so they can mine their way to freedom. :-\

No sacrifices for the temple to the god of death?!

I thought about it, but ultimately decided it's good to keep as many miners around as you can.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Tomsod on December 20, 2023, 08:58:43 am
Started a temporary embark to gather some plants not present in my (future) main fort.  Soon, there are raven corpses everywhere.  Then my herbalists start melting.  Oh right, it's raining and we're in a scorching biome!  WHOOPS.  Guess the survivors will stay away from that half of the map until the weather clears.
Title: Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
Post by: Urist McNuup on March 12, 2024, 11:45:36 am
I had a stockpile set aside for cheap stones that my jewelers can cut as training and decoration for furniture. To do so I just disabled everything except 'Other Stone' from a stone stockpile. A good while later I found adamantine and started to carefully excavate it. I set an automatic order to have it extracted and melted and forgot about the whole process. About one season later I wanted to order the first adamantine weapons but couldnt find the bars. Searching the stocks I found several cut 'raw adamantine cabachons'. This was how I learned that adamantine is not listed as economic rock.