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[Aklyon]

What does HP Beats do, and is it necessary as a startup application?
The rest are either already accounted for in your post or are generically named and probably won't effect startup the way you've described it.

[Sappho]

It appears to be a music utility. Can't imagine that's causing the problem, though I can try disabling it and seeing if it helps. (I'll be at work again on Friday.)

Maybe it's a hardware problem? It's so strange. Starting a program for the first time since the last shutdown is always sluggish, but once programs are open they run just fine. I've never seen this happen before.

[Aklyon]

It might be the AV scans new processes as they open or something.

[Sappho]

Possibly. I asked one of my coworkers about it and she insisted I must have downloaded a virus by visiting a site "I shouldn't have been on." She was half-joking, but she clearly knows nothing about how the internet works and was parroting something she had heard. She said her husband (who works with computer hardware) once looked at a computer that was running slowly and he was horrified to see all the adware and malware on it (an experience we're all familiar with). So she now assumes that any slowness is because I "downloaded a virus." She suggested that's also the reason why my emails are appearing as "read" instead of "unread" in Thunderbird.

I guess I must have downloaded a virus on all those web sites I shouldn't have been on. Like Bay12 and Google Drive.

Ah, the joys of working with people who are clueless about computers.

It could very well be the antivirus software. They are super-paranoid about viruses and have everything turned up to max, no matter how much I assure them I'm not going to get a horrible virus, that I've used the same computer for 7 years and never gotten one (despite all the activities of questionable legality I get up to on that old machine).

[Aklyon]

So she now assumes that any slowness is because I "downloaded a virus." She suggested that's also the reason why my emails are appearing as "read" instead of "unread" in Thunderbird.

Um.
..Um.

Aren't emails supposed to show as read? The unread ones you haven't seen yet. I know this has nothing to do with your problem Sappho but that is a new level of cluelessness to me.

[Sappho]

No, this is a weird glitch happening with the email server. When I get new emails, they display as read, even before I've opened them. It's caused me to miss a few messages because there were no unread messages, and I didn't look closely enough to realize some of them were new. I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with Thunderbird and is really just a glitch with our webmail server.

EDIT: Quick update on the overheating beast, the guy who said he can replace the thermal paste didn't have time today, so I just cracked it open myself (dear LORD it is ridiculous getting this thing open) just to check for dust clogging. I hadn't checked it in a year, after all.

As before, there was almost no dust at all inside. Only a tiny bit of extremely fine dust (the only kind that can get into this nearly airtight box). I didn't have any canned air, so I wiped off the fan blades and then just blew through the vent, dislodging the small amount that was there. It's worth noting that my apartment has a lot of (cat) hair flying around all over the place which gets into everything, but there wasn't a single strand of it inside the computer. I closed it back up (nearly as difficult as getting it open) and turned it back on, and the temperature hasn't changed a bit. Still holding steady at 50-60 degrees C (when idle). Wheeeeee!

I'll let you all know what happens when we change the thermal paste. Although the guy says he has 2 kinds and he's not sure what kind mine will need. How does one determine what type of thermal paste one needs?

[MaximumZero]

What does HP Beats do, and is it necessary as a startup application?
The rest are either already accounted for in your post or are generically named and probably won't effect startup the way you've described it.

HP Beats controls a separate equalizer and the functionality of a music suite that I wasn't horribly impressed with. The equalizer works really well, but Windows comes with one built in. That said, if you're running the dv or m series laptops, shutting off Beats may shut down your subwoofer and extra speakers. (Some of the dv and m series machines are equipped with four speakers in the front, and they all have a mini-subwoofer on the bottom.)

EDIT: -snipsnop-

That means that you're getting next to no airflow through the machine, which is why it's overheating. Have the tech-dude you're working with check to see if the fans are running under load. Also, thermal paste is thermal paste. It doesn't really matter which brand you go with because you're not uber-overclocking your machine, and a 1-2C difference likely won't matter.

[Sappho]

That's my work computer. It's a desktop, and I will definitely not be using it for music of any kind. I'm actually not sure why this software is even on there. The computer was wiped and reloaded with Windows just before I started using it. Anyway, I doubt it will hurt anything. The antivirus software seems the more likely culprit.

[MaximumZero]

They probably used the OEM (original equipment manufacturer) version of Windows, which came with the machine, which I gather is an HP.

OEM versions of Windows come absolutely loaded with bloatware from the manufacturers.

[Gentlefish]

So uh. I just need input on getting a graphics card. It doesn't have to be a beast of a card, and I'd prefer something cheaper; I just want something that, along with my intel quadcore chipset and 8gb RAM, will let me play graphics-heavy games like Murdered: Soul Suspect and even just Skyrim on at least medium setting. It gets all choppy on me in those games (Dwarf Fortress has a better FPS by far than those games on my computer)

So, what's a decent, cheap-ish video card?

[MaximumZero]

So uh. I just need input on getting a graphics card. It doesn't have to be a beast of a card, and I'd prefer something cheaper; I just want something that, along with my intel quadcore chipset and 8gb RAM, will let me play graphics-heavy games like Murdered: Soul Suspect and even just Skyrim on at least medium setting. It gets all choppy on me in those games (Dwarf Fortress has a better FPS by far than those games on my computer)

So, what's a decent, cheap-ish video card?

What's our budget?

[Gentlefish]

No more than $150 but if it's seriously worth it I can go to $200. I've been looking at newegg but I can't make heads or tails of what's good.

[LordSlowpoke]

either amd r7 265 (around $150) or r9 270 (~$180)

small difference between the two, but i think these give the most bang for your buck

you can go for a r9 270x for 30 bucks more than the x-less version but if you can figure out how to overclock it without burning the card to smithereens for less it's not worth it

remember to check if your mobo's compatible

[PyroDesu]

Now I'm here on behalf of my brother.

He keeps getting seemingly random disconnects from the house network - we're fairly sure it's not his WiFi card, nor the router itself, since replacing either of them hasn't fixed the issue before. One thing that he's noticed recently (now that he's taken the time to look) is that just before a disconnect, his network use goes up to 100%, from wherever it was.

[Aklyon]

Does anything happen on the router when that happens?