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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2129296 times)

lanceleoghauni

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1545 on: April 26, 2010, 01:57:55 pm »

Clearly those Humans Worship the Elder Gods.
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"Mayor, the Nobles are complaining again!"

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ziffs

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1546 on: April 26, 2010, 02:21:36 pm »

Just learned you can build walls en masse, go to do it in my game, realize i can't.

version 38c. ARGGG. Can I update without losing my savegame?
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Orkel

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1547 on: April 26, 2010, 04:27:02 pm »

Just learned you can build walls en masse, go to do it in my game, realize i can't.

version 38c. ARGGG. Can I update without losing my savegame?

You should just jump into 2010 and start a new fort. 38c is veeeeeeeery old, from early 08, and lacks a lot of features and bugfixes.
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Corona688

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1548 on: April 26, 2010, 04:39:26 pm »

I remember my first drawbridge.  Elves come to trade, pull up the drawbridge...  they ignore it and walk inside anyway.  Oh, things can WALK DIAGONALLY?  Dammit.
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Eric Blank

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1549 on: April 26, 2010, 05:49:12 pm »

One of my fortresses in 40D;
I had built a small but very wealthy fortress with over 80 citizens, and never remembered (with my agonizingly short attention span) to put the gate up in the hallway connecting the walled up fortress exterior from the outside world. Goblins came, 3 times. The third time, they brought 3 plattons, one on beak dogs, the first two ran straight at the entrance from the west, where they met my military. They did battle, and my wrestlers (yes, nothing but wrestlers and crossbowmen) sent them into full retreat within only a few seconds. Then, while they were chasing them back to the edge of the map, the rest of the baddies on beak dogs swooped in from the rear (by going around to the front) and killed the couple of guys that had returned to their posts, then promptly charged the rest of my militia. At the end of the fight, I had one crossbowman and one very badly injured wrestler left.
I had started with a military of 30  ::)
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I make Spellcrafts!
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Corona688

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1550 on: April 26, 2010, 05:49:51 pm »

Having a newborn child fall down the well and drown right on top of a water-driven pressure plate, thereby somehow causing it to not have water, opening floodgates wide to refill the pool.  Death by laser guided baby.
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You never know when you might need a berserk dwarf to set loose somewhere.

ziffs

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1551 on: April 26, 2010, 08:16:08 pm »

You should just jump into 2010 and start a new fort. 38c is veeeeeeeery old, from early 08, and lacks a lot of features and bugfixes.

If i'm jumping forward, I'll probably go to 40d. As much as I want burrows and stuff, I can barely handly the military training in 38c. I heard 2010 is complicated as hell.

There'll be another facepalm when I realize that's a mistake :P
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Arkenstone

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1552 on: April 26, 2010, 08:42:05 pm »

I remember my first Face Palm Moment...

It was my first fort to last more than two years, and my third artifact in said fort.  My gem cutter had gotten the mood, and I was all hyped about getting a giant gem or something like that.  I even went to forbidding extremes to make sure it was made out of the best stuff possible.  So, the big moment comes around, and a get:
Spoiler: A Tsavorite... (click to show/hide)
I then experienced Excessive Fun by Goblin, and had to go back to 1 minute before the mood was assigned.
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darkflagrance

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1553 on: April 26, 2010, 10:24:17 pm »

Artifact barrels are awesome. What could be better than drinking beer out of a giant carved gem with a picture of itself on it?
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...as if nothing really matters...
   
The Legend of Tholtig Cryptbrain: 8000 dead elves and a cyclops

Tired of going decades without goblin sieges? Try The Fortress Defense Mod

Shardok

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1554 on: April 27, 2010, 01:01:50 am »

Artifact barrels are awesome. What could be better than drinking beer out of a giant carved gem with a picture of itself on it?
Drinking spiked elven wine out of it and looking at the pictures.
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Eric Blank

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1555 on: April 27, 2010, 02:02:19 am »

Facepunch.com is a better description of what i just did.

Screwing around with the raws so dragons can show up at any time.  >:( Everybody is dead.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

darkflagrance

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1556 on: April 27, 2010, 03:48:31 am »

Tragedy struck.

Sieged by spiders modded into my game, I lured them into my underground trade depot, where they fed on the bait war-bulls while my militia captain and his squad shot them from afar. When the spiders were dead, I ordered the lower gate opened, and the bridge connecting my fort to the outside sealed, so that I could dispose of the corpses.

However, I forgot that one of my crossbowmen had been positioned on that bridge to snipe any stragglers from behind. She and her one year-old son fell off the bridge, where she made a valiant last stand against the remaining spiders until the both of them were torn apart. She is survived by her husband, one of the few champions I have left who was not devoured by spiders in a previous siege.
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...as if nothing really matters...
   
The Legend of Tholtig Cryptbrain: 8000 dead elves and a cyclops

Tired of going decades without goblin sieges? Try The Fortress Defense Mod

Fullmoon

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1557 on: April 27, 2010, 08:00:35 am »

A small one there. Got this great Sergal mod out there. Installed. Forgot about it.

...
Three fortresses in a row. No caravans in two years, no migrants after first two batches (which usually get me up to 16-18 dwarves). Only goblins. Only bloody damned gob snatchers. WTH, thought I. I am not on island, or what. And where are elves with their load of junk? Is this a bug? Should check forums.

Huh? My civ is wiped out? And elves too? And humans? What the h--

Oh. Sergals. Right.

So, be careful with unbalanced civilisation mods.
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123BIG

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1558 on: April 27, 2010, 11:10:21 am »

My first facepalm moment: Building my very first fort back in 40d. I had sealed off main entrance during a goblin siege and left a ramp tunnel with a trade depot open. It had two retracting drawbridges and the idea was to dump the greenskins into the channels below, overseen by a sniper nest with fortifications, and nail them to the walls. I ordered all civilians inside and sent my wrestlers and sworders to the doors connecting the tunnels and the main fortress incase any goblins make it across the bridges. I forbid the doors and get ready to watch the blooshed...and then like a dozen civilians get into the channels to die stupidly clean the catapult rubble. They found THE ONLY WAY outside the safe inner fortress through a small breach in the wall, which i made when the idiot miner dug himself into the channels, to let him escape, and completely forgotten about after that. That was FUN.

The most recent one: After the bonecarver refused to make leggings for 5th time in a row, due to lack of bones (while there were 25 in his workshop wich was aggravating enough) i decided to bite the bullet and make some out of steel instead. However the only armorer i had (who was also a hammerdwarf in my military) was too busy partying to bother with such petty tasks. I freed the statue garden and he went for a drink to relax a bit after all that stress and hard work. I left him thinking that he will quench his thirst and go make the bloody leggings, and tended to other things. When i got back someone threw another party and the lazy tosser went to participate without even stopping at the forge. I freed the garden (again) expecting to see the guy do at least some work but the armorer's shift was up and he went down to the caverns to patrol. *facepalm*
Without leggings.*double facepalm*

Danjen

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1559 on: April 27, 2010, 12:08:40 pm »

Accidentally hitting enter on the animals menu, instead of b. This marks them as pets, and not food. So, I've got about 30 mixed standard breeding dwarf animals and a population boom is inevitable.
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