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[Sutremaine]

Me, about five minutes ago:  "Why is this guy so bothered by 'terrible vermin' lately?  He only hates guinea pigs, and we don't have any guinea pigs."

. . . as I scrolled through the Units screen, with Cavy Boar and Cavy Sow  Cavy Pup listed hundreds of times.  Turns out I was thinking Peccary rather than Cavy.

Are you running a modded game? Guinea pigs aren't on the wiki.

Also, is there a [VERMIN_HATEABLE] tag in the cavy raws? Adding it to a creature that isn't vermin doesn't throw an error, but that doesn't mean that it's doing something.

[vadia]

a few minor seeming mistakes led to the death of 1/3 of my fort.

I forgot to close a floor hatch and had a hunter go into the cavern level. 
Of course he starts shooting the fauna -- a reacher, in fact.  As I realize what's going on, I see that the reacher has become nausiated from pain.
So I say to myself "Squad practice"
So my squad goes along with their mighty wooden weapons and bludgeon the thing to death.  So I think, "Oh boy, free lunch, wonder what Reacher tastes like [probably chicken] etc.,"
So I have somebody haul the dead reacher to the butcher shop.

And then I recieve the announcement "Urist, Wheredoyouwantthisagain stops hauling, freaked the $^#^ out because it moved."
So I send the army to kill the reacher again, and again, and eventually a citizen walks by as the reacher reanimates and urist mcshouldastayedawayfromcorpses is now urist mczombie(1)
Urists McOH#@!^ and McYoudon'tlooksogood bite it, as well as half my soldiers, creating mczombies(2-4) and one  soldier goes missing.
1/3 of the remainder need diagnosis and walk away from the table before my doc can get to them.
Just then I get the feeling that the missing soldier was sucked down by a vampire, and just as I'm about to figure out what to do about that the last straw comes
New migrants -- I (emotianally) can't deal with them at the moment. 

[weenog]

So a reacher can act like its description says, as long as you encounter it in an evil biome, eh?

[Scruffy]

I was planning on mass pitting dozens of war elephants (masterwork) and decided that my marksdorfs needed some practice so I built a retractable bridge 4 levels below the drop point. Everything worked fine until I realized that I couldn't retract it because of the weight so I had no way of efficiently killing them. Even better, I forgot to build a door in time so now they were stuck there scaring my dwarves. Everyone is too afraid to go build that darn door and ofcourse the pit is straight next to my main stockpile and staircase

In the same fort I got this:

Wasted two iridium wafers and it was a possession so I didn't even get a weaponsmith.
 

[Blackadder]

This isn't as much of a facepalm, but I just finished building my entrance flood trap, and I wanted to test it for the first time. It worked wonderfully, but before draining it, I noticed something gold in the water. I looked at it and found the following:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I can't see a corpse yet, but I think I just accidentally drowned an invisible thief...

Update: After draining, I was unable to find a body. I'm unsure how that stuff got in the chamber however. O.o

Bonus Update: In an interesting circumstance, it appears that the kobold thief must have been crushed underneath the two-tile floodgate bridge just outside the flooding chamber, and his belongings somehow left behind, as there is no hint of a body anywhere, but the unit list makes mention of a deceased kobold.

[Slayerhero90]

How did you get a gold dagger? It's not a weapon material, and if it were an artifact it would have a name.

[Blackadder]

How did you get a gold dagger? It's not a weapon material, and if it were an artifact it would have a name.

Not sure. I looked at it and it didn't have anything special about it. Perhaps because I'm using Masterwork?

[CrzyMonkeyNinja]

Just now I decided to play as humans to try to make Laketown from the Hobbit, so my embark was largely a lake. It so happened to be in a temperate region, so my starting wagon was on the ice in the middle of the freaking lake. So, all said, I am left with four berrles of booze, three barrles of food, no seeds, and a drowned grower. Thankfully my woodcutters were already holding their axes so I can get some timber for houses etc. This will be a fun time!

[untakenusername]

I accidentally found out you can use the mouse to designate areas, about 30 seconds ago, after I just laid out the floor plan for a fairly elaborate and tedious level of my new fortress.

[doublestrafe]

I just caught one of my dwarves hauling, not pushing, a wheelbarrow to a stone stockpile.

A wheelbarrow with a rock in it.

[misko27]

I just caught one of my dwarves hauling, not pushing, a wheelbarrow to a stone stockpile.

A wheelbarrow with a rock in it.

Urist McIdiot is painfully carrying (not guiding) up 50 z-levels of stairs a wheelbarrow with a chunk of hematite inside.

Job description:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Worker: Vucar Konosbal, Hunter
Location: Stone Stockpile #19
Items:
*maple wheelbarrow <#19>* 

[Joben]

Lol that's a good one.

I keep catching my dwarves putting full wheelbarrows inside barrels. o_O

[Mageziya]

I accidentally found out you can use the mouse to designate areas, about 30 seconds ago, after I just laid out the floor plan for a fairly elaborate and tedious level of my new fortress.

Personally I find the mouse clunky and imprecise. I think when I first tried DF eons ago (And went on a uber hiatus after a rage quit.) I used the mouse and found it really frustrating. It tends to make difficult and precise things even more so.

Also, if you find the keyboard too slow while moving, press shift.

[aoxoa]

Suprisingly (Well not really) I managed to destroy one fort with magma from a volcano by digging the wrong spot and forgetting liquids can move in corner directions too.

But a facepalm moment I happen to do often is wondering why my nobles room never improves despite that I smooth stone, engrave and put high expense goodies in them. I finally find out I havn't changed the size off the room to include the expansion to it.

[Altaree]

How did you get a gold dagger? It's not a weapon material, and if it were an artifact it would have a name.

Not sure. I looked at it and it didn't have anything special about it. Perhaps because I'm using Masterwork?

It is because you are using Masterwork.  Also, kobolds don't leave corpses, they just leave the loot bags.