why are there not as many minimalistic games as there should beRemember the old days?
DieAssist action
Take a knife and cut-off competitiors theif without being noticed.(2)You steal it from a housewife.She is angry and running after you.
ACQUIRE A CASE OF TURTLES(3)You order a case of turtles on ebay.(5)Your turtles are viciously and deadly cute..you also got the first five.
Hire snipers to shoot those in front of me. Run for the finish.(6)You pay them too much.(4)You start running like the wind for 60 meters.You are first.
Pay the snipers twice as much to shoot everyone. As in, everyone, including me.(3)They take your money and Persus's money but they end up not doing anything.
Teleport to the finish line.(1)You teleport to the finish line next to you.You check for any missing limbs (4) you are only feeling dizzy from the teleportation.
Die(2)You smack your head against the floor a couple of times.
Use Zeno's Turtle and Achilles racetrack example to show that it is impossible for anyone to pass me and take first place.That only works if you ignore the fact that you would need to only measure decreasing amounts of time, to the point where you would never advance past a point in time n where the passer reaches the point you were at at the same time you were there and times after that where he reaches those points before you.
This is a minimalist RTD. Logic doesn't matter.Use Zeno's Turtle and Achilles racetrack example to show that it is impossible for anyone to pass me and take first place.Logic!
DUNK TURTLES INTO BLUE PAINT(2)You dunk them in blue paint,they don't like it and start going rabid..
JOG LEISURELY
RUN LIKE THERE'S NO TOMMOROW, BECUASE THERE PROBABLY ISN'TYou spawn in as one of the 28 competitors left.
BECOME THE RACETRACK(6)You become the world.You are not eligible for winning the race anymore,say the judges.
Teleport to the finish line!You are interrupted by blue rabid turtles.
Cause a Komodo Dragon to crush LordSlowpoke to death and regain the lead.
turn into a fighter jet made of BICEPS and fly to the finish line.
Cause a Komodo Dragon to crush LordSlowpoke to death and regain the lead.(3)A Komodo Dragon falls down from the skies.
Walk around the turtles, then teleport to the finish line.You (3) walk around the turtles but you are surrounded by more turtles.
You spawn in as one of the 26 competitors left.25 left.turn into a fighter jet made of BICEPS and fly to the finish line.
My army shows up, and starts shooting all the other competitors.You call for your army and (4)they come to your aid.
grow legs long enough to make 200 meter strides.You (6) grow them but they don't want to listen to you and rip off.
Jump on a turtle, then get into it's shell. Run fast as I can!You try to jump on a turtle but Xantalos eat them all.
EAT EVERYTHING ON MEYou (3) eat all the turtles,the corpses,Scood's legs,GWG,the snipers,the angry housewife and a contestant that was tying his shoes.
You fight the Komodo Dragon (6)vs(4)Cause a Komodo Dragon to crush LordSlowpoke to death and regain the lead.
SLAM DUNK KOMODO DRAGON INTO BLUE PAINT BIN
CONTINUE JOGGING ANTICS
STRETCH RACETRACK TO BE 74,983 MILES LONGER(6)You stretch it so long it extends into space and beyond.
obtain prosthetic legs that are 3 times better than regular human legs.You (4) get prosthetic legs and start using them on the seemingly infinite race.
Get mildly annoyed at Xantalos after regenerating.You spawn as one of the 23 competitors left.22 left.
Teleport to the finish line.
Blow up Lord SLowpoke with a rocket Launcher. Attain superspeed.You (4) grab a rocket launcher from the air.
FLY TO THE FINISH LINE WHILE DROPPING PECTORAL MISSILES ON COMPETITORS!(5)You power your jet engines and head to the seemingly infinite race track while you (3) betray 2 of the competitors you raced with before you turned into a jet.
GET TO THE CHOPPAYour army (2+1) lends you a helicopter.
Kick off the ground and slide on my BAHK/BELLAY! Trip anyone in my way as I slide past.You (2) tilt yourself off the ground and start sliding.
Strut to the finishYou (2) try your best but then realize that the racetrack is endless.
Drive over all thecompetitors in my Bitchin, pimped-out Hummer. The Big, military kind. Only Bitchin. And pimped out.You spawn as one of the 20 competitors left.19 left.
SLAM DUNK XANTALOS INTO THE BLUE PAINT BIN TO ACHIEVE INSTA-KATAMARI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgnOrcWXGd4)You (2)vs(6) try to throw Xantalos but your arms rip off while trying.
Enjoy my sweet ride for a bit. Be indestructible.
. . .PERSUADE XANTALOS TO BE THE BLUE KATAMARI THE UNIVERSE DESERVES AND FIX MY ARMS THROUGH INTERPRETATIVE DANCING(2)Xantalos is thinking about it.(4)You perform a rejuvenatory dance.
Teleport forward a few turns.(5)You teleport to the future.You look for yourself but you can't find yourself.
Dodge any attacks and run as far away as possible from the battle.
Ignore the GM, keep running.(2+6)You ignore the GM and continue the race anyway.
Enjoy my sweet ride for a bit. Be indestructible.
You honk then you get interrupted by Ragnarok shooting missiles at you.Enjoy my sweet ride for a bit. Be indestructible.
ROCK THIS DOOD'S WORLD WITH MY AB-CANNONS!
Accelerate by bouncing off Ozarck's hummer, give a good kick into the air, and hide inside the shell while it smashes through Ragnarok BICEPS jet.(2)You have belly burns from the sliding.
EAT THE PAST, PREVENTING TIME TRAVEL
THEN RIP OPEN THE PRESENT BEFORE CHRISTMASEAT THE PAST, PREVENTING TIME TRAVEL
SLAM THE FUTURE INTO THE BLUE PAINT BIN AND CLOSE THE LID
THEN RIP OPEN THE PRESENT BEFORE CHRISTMASEAT THE PAST, PREVENTING TIME TRAVEL
SLAM THE FUTURE INTO THE BLUE PAINT BIN AND CLOSE THE LID
EAT THE PAST, PREVENTING TIME TRAVEL(4)You eat the past..
Team up with Komodo dragon to kill all the NPC competitors.You (6) marry the Komodo Dragon but you don't remember why...
Contemplate what this means.(2)You think Xantalos might have done something.You can't teleport back to the past.
Teleport backwards in time several turns and to the finish line.
Blue Shell Pinball MADNESS!! RAWR!You wonder how you got into the jet but play pinball anyway and (2) wreck the jet but hit your head and fall out unconscious.
Rotate self 90 degrees, keep running!You wonder what the fuck you are doing on the racetrack for a moment.
(6)You grab the future and throw it into the blue paint bin but you can't put the lid on and it becomes a Blue Rabid Future TMTHEN RIP OPEN THE PRESENT BEFORE CHRISTMASEAT THE PAST, PREVENTING TIME TRAVEL
SLAM THE FUTURE INTO THE BLUE PAINT BIN AND CLOSE THE LID
ENSURE PRESENT IS PROPERLY WRAPPED BEFORE BEING RIPPED OPEN
PREPARE THE PEC-NUKES!You wonder why the fuck you are in a jet.
Continue enjoying my sweet ride. Transcend into the realm of coolness and badassery. Shut up, spellcheck, badassery is so a word.You don't remember what the fuck you are doing.(1)You get tired of the shitty ride and get out to urinate on it.
Strafe EVERYTHINGWho are you?What are you doing?You don't know but you (3) start strafing for no reason..
run so fast I end up going back in time a few turns before it became a death matchYou don't know why you are running and start (4+3) sprinting really fast.
branch off from the current timeline at a 90 degree angle while moving speedily.Wouldn't that lead to you being stationary relative to time?
But that would require access to the past, which I ate.branch off from the current timeline at a 90 degree angle while moving speedily.Wouldn't that lead to you being stationary relative to time?
Travel back in time to when Xantalos ate the past.
Punch him to prevent him from doing so!
You ate the past in what was then the present. It is now the future of that moment, making that the past, which you did not eat. Eating that moment would have required you to have eaten the present and part of the future.But that would require access to the past, which I ate.branch off from the current timeline at a 90 degree angle while moving speedily.Wouldn't that lead to you being stationary relative to time?
Travel back in time to when Xantalos ate the past.
Punch him to prevent him from doing so!
Therefore you can't travel back past the present moment.
((No, I ate the past in relative to me. Therefore, since I traveled forward in time from the moment where I ate the past, that moment doesn't exist anymore.And now it is the future of that moment.
Also punching a planet doesn't hurt anything except your fist.))
UNLEASH THE RABID FUTURE ON THE OTHER COMPETITORS(6)You unleash the rabid future on Lenglon but (5)vs(2) Lenglon charms it and it becomes a Cute Pink Future TM for some reason..
Transcend time. Create time begining from the NOW and extending both forward and backward, as well as laterally. Write history, as I see fit. Invite those competitors who wish it to enter into history, past and future.You try and replace the Cute Pink Future TM (3)vs(4+2) but theCute Pink Future TM replaces you and you become a Cute Pink Ozarck TM and put the past back as a Cute Pink Past TM
Sit down confusedly and look around.LordSlowpoke unleashes the Blue Rabid Future TM but you charm the Blue Rabid Future TM into a Cute Pink Future TM and hide behind him..
"W-what's going on?"
hide if people get violent.
branch off from the current timeline at a 90 degree angle while moving speedily.You suddenly find yourself on a fixed racetrack.
Keep climbing!You climb for a while then the racetrack suddenly repairs itself.
EAT TIMEYou try to (6) eat time but your belly was already full and you vomit time out again after a mild freeze.
You roll a (1)....branch off from the current timeline at a 90 degree angle while moving speedily.Wouldn't that lead to you being stationary relative to time?
Travel back in time to when Xantalos ate the past.
Punch him to prevent him from doing so!
You (2) anger Xantalos and he eats you intentionally this time.You feel Deja Vu...
Teleport to my MOON BASE.(4)You go on a visit to your pink moon-base.
Recreate the past where I was king of the world.(3)You become vice president of the Pink Empire.
Open fire!You (4)vs(2) open fire on Xantalos and leave a nice crater in him..
Realize this shell is great for riding around in and protecting my noggin, keep head inside while I slip through a crack in the timestream to a time when time wasn't tampered with.(2)You think you should put your head in your shell but don't really want to.
Wonder what happened from that 1.((Xantlos ate you))
((And yet this is mentioned in neither mine nor Xantalos's turn. Nor did I notice it anywhere in the turn.))Wonder what happened from that 1.((Xantlos ate you))
Dangit GWG.((And yet this is mentioned in neither mine nor Xantalos's turn. Nor did I notice it anywhere in the turn.))Wonder what happened from that 1.((Xantlos ate you))
Call in Airforce One and it's jet escort to pick me up. Then launch the nukes at the stadium as I ride off into the sunset.GROW MAGMA PIT ON HIM FACE
launch mastahcheese into space with my super feet.Assist action
REPAINT PAINT BIN AS PINK
BECOME MAGICAL GIRL
slooooooowly peek out the right side of whoever I'm hiding behind, ready to duck back if something scary comes after me. if nothing does, then cautiously walk over to LordSlowpoke and ask:(4)You pour pink paint into the blue paint bin and jump in.
"um. what are you doing?"
Create a 1500 meter flowery fun-run. Invite everyone to join.You (4) renovate the racetrack,you need 1 more turn to finish it though.
(3)+(4)-(2)+(1) Scood kicks MastahCheese in a whole new universe made out of candy.launch mastahcheese into space with my super feet.Assist action
Travel back in time to when Xantalos ate the past. Punch him to stop him.(2)You try and go back to the past but Xantalos didn't eat the past in the past that exists now..
Go on a honeymoon with my wife.(6)You go on a honeymoon in the nicest place in your kingdom and enjoyed some quality time with your wife and your newborn dragon heir.
Watch out for mushrooms, find a tall flagpole.(1)You can't find any mushrooms but you find some (3) cute dinosaurs that don't want to eat you yet.
(4)vs(5) Playergamer grows a lava beard on his face.Call in Airforce One and it's jet escort to pick me up. Then launch the nukes at the stadium as I ride off into the sunset.GROW MAGMA PIT ON HIM FACE
TAKE OFF TO THE SKIES (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLk810abrrw)[/b]assist action with my super feet
[/i]
PULL LENGLON INTO PAINT BIN"Eeep!"
"I am being the marathon contestant this world deserves. How about you? What even brings you here?"Just barely peek my eyes out from behind safe person to look at LordSlowpoke.
PULL LENGLON INTO PAINT BIN"Eeep!"
Run back to the safe person I was hiding behind earlier and hide behind him again.
Sit down confusedly and look around.LordSlowpoke unleashes the Blue Rabid Future TM but you charm the Blue Rabid Future TM into a Cute Pink Future TM and hide behind him..
"W-what's going on?"
hide if people get violent.
PULL LENGLON INTO PAINT BIN"Eeep!"
Run back to the safe person I was hiding behind earlier and hide behind him again.Sit down confusedly and look around.LordSlowpoke unleashes the Blue Rabid Future TM but you charm the Blue Rabid Future TM into a Cute Pink Future TM and hide behind him..
"W-what's going on?"
hide if people get violent.
(´･ω･`)
It's not like he introduced himself or anything! I don't know he's the future!PULL LENGLON INTO PAINT BIN"Eeep!"
Run back to the safe person I was hiding behind earlier and hide behind him again.Sit down confusedly and look around.LordSlowpoke unleashes the Blue Rabid Future TM but you charm the Blue Rabid Future TM into a Cute Pink Future TM and hide behind him..
"W-what's going on?"
hide if people get violent.
(´･ω･`)
Get my blueshelled behind onto a dino, and ride it into the sunset! Yehaw!You (3) ride a raptor into the sunset and watch the Earth explode.
PULL LENGLON INTO PAINT BIN
TAKE OFF TO THE SKIES (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLk810abrrw)
"I am being the marathon contestant this world deserves. How about you? What even brings you here?"
TAKE OFF TO THE SKIES (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLk810abrrw)[/b]assist action with my super feet
[/i]
You (3) drag Lenglon into the paint bin and Scood (4+6) kicks you into the cookie dimension.Scood's leg gets stuck in the paint bin and flies with LordSlowpoke and Lenglon into the cookie dimension.PULL LENGLON INTO PAINT BIN"Eeep!"
Run back to the safe person I was hiding behind earlier and hide behind him again."I am being the marathon contestant this world deserves. How about you? What even brings you here?"Just barely peek my eyes out from behind safe person to look at LordSlowpoke.
"Um, I, I-I'm just trying to fi-figure out what's going on. I d-don't rememberer anything from before a, few seconds ago."
DESTROY THE WORLD. Then absorb the power of the billions of deaths to become a god.(4)You destroy the Earth,killing Xantalos and everybody else but the competitors.
Eat candy!(5)You eat candy and develop Midas Candy Touch.
Complete the Fun Run track. Be impervious. Failing that, be resurrectionish.Some jerk destroys your Fun Run track.(6)You turn every contestant on the earth ressurectionish to survive the blast..
Heal that crater.You get exploded into tiny fragments..
Be confused.(2)You realize that there is a paradox going on.
Examine situation.
Gun down anyone trying to repair the track. Call in the rest of my army.Xantalos gets blown to hell and so does your army.
COME OUT OF NOWHERE, THEN OPEN PORTAL TO ROLE TO DODGE THE LAW REBOOT.Aid action
"Well gee, no need to thank me for saving you from an imminent apocalypse. Pop some cookiedrugs, get your act together and make yourself at home. Doesn't look like omnicidialists will find it anytime soon.""Wh-what? How.. how would... apocalypse? what?"
DIPLOMANCE LENGLON TO ESTABLISH CALMNESS
WHILE VICTORY DANCING
You come out of nowhere for some reason.COME OUT OF NOWHERE, THEN OPEN PORTAL TO ROLE TO DODGE THE LAW REBOOT.Aid action
GRARARARAGRRARGAGRGARG(6)You try and guide your pieces to fuse with the sun.
BECOME THE SUN AND DEVOUR EVERYONE
"Well gee, no need to thank me for saving you from an imminent apocalypse. Pop some cookiedrugs, get your act together and make yourself at home. Doesn't look like omnicidialists will find it anytime soon."
DIPLOMANCE LENGLON TO ESTABLISH CALMNESS
WHILE VICTORY DANCING
"I, I, I, I don't, I mean, why? how? what? I, I, I WANA GO HOME!"(6)vs(2) You slap Lenglon across the face to calm Lenglon down.
Curl up in a ball and wish I was home.
Break dance, touching everything and everyone in sight.You burst into dance but (2) can't find anything non-chocolate to touch but yourself.
Obtain super prosthetic arms to match my super prosthetic feet.You try and look for a way to get your arms.
Remain Pretty. Declare my prettiness to the universe.(4)You become recognized as The Great Cute Pretty Pink Ozarck,God of Candy ....
Find and defeat either a dragon or a giant turtle. Or something that's both.(3)Your search leads you to a weird tower.
Write book about my revelations. Catalyze a new religious movement.(5)You write "What You WOULD NEVER Know" and get recognized in the whole universe for your writings.
Remain Pretty. Declare my prettiness to the universe.(4)You become recognized as The Great Cute Pretty Pink Ozarck,God of Candy ....
MastahCheese-In a whole new world.Candy Midas Touch.
Lenglon-With LordSlowpoke in the paint bin in the cookie universe.
Ozarck-The Great Cute Pretty Pink Ozarck,God of Candy
Become Unicorn, one of my many alter egos.I knew it. You were nice at heart.
Dude do you even DFBecome Unicorn, one of my many alter egos.I knew it. You were nice at heart.
Apparently not.Dude do you even DFBecome Unicron, one of my many alter egos.I knew it. You were nice at heart.
Unicorns are capable of great murder, but they hold back.Dude do you even DFBecome Unicorn, one of my many alter egos.I knew it. You were nice at heart.
You clearly don't DF. Unicorns are the most murderous animals in the game.Unicorns are capable of great murder, but they hold back.Dude do you even DFBecome Unicorn, one of my many alter egos.I knew it. You were nice at heart.
Wrong. There is a lot of exaggeration, but if you actually play DF, you'd know that only animals adjacent to dwarves, badgers and the like, and the occasional carnivore actually attack dwarves. All other animals run away. This includes unicorns, elephants, and the infamous carp.You clearly don't DF. Unicorns are the most murderous animals in the game.Unicorns are capable of great murder, but they hold back.Dude do you even DFBecome Unicorn, one of my many alter egos.I knew it. You were nice at heart.
You must have a different game than me, then. First embark I did on a savage good biome was annihilated in the first few minutes by a literal phalanx of the buggers.Wrong. There is a lot of exaggeration, but if you actually play DF, you'd know that only animals adjacent to dwarves, badgers and the like, and the occasional carnivore actually attack dwarves. All other animals run away. This includes unicorns, elephants, and the infamous carp.You clearly don't DF. Unicorns are the most murderous animals in the game.Unicorns are capable of great murder, but they hold back.Dude do you even DFBecome Unicorn, one of my many alter egos.I knew it. You were nice at heart.
A broken clock is right twice a day, evil can do good, and sometimes the butler actually did it. One example is not a pattern.Too bad for the poor unicorns then. They'll have to bear the shame of killing anyone not a virgin female who approaches them, according to folklore, and if you follow the more ancient stories they're far more vicious.
Let's face it, who is more numerous: People who lived in medieval Europe and thought unicorns were bastards, or the sum total of people who lived in medieval Europe and considered unicorns to be pure plus 99% of the people in Europe, America, Australia, and so forth over the past few centuries who considered unicorns to be a paragon of goodness?A broken clock is right twice a day, evil can do good, and sometimes the butler actually did it. One example is not a pattern.Too bad for the poor unicorns then. They'll have to bear the shame of killing anyone not a virgin female who approaches them, according to folklore, and if you follow the more ancient stories they're far more vicious.
Point being, unicorns are evil bastards
and it doesn't really matter anyway since I'm transforming into a machine god planet.Who has a name suspiciously similar to a mythical creature which is associated by almost everyone with goodness. Which I'm sure is just a coincidence, as is the fact that Unicron created a bunch of knights with shining chassises.
The first type. *pessimist*Let's face it, who is more numerous: People who lived in medieval Europe and thought unicorns were bastards, or the sum total of people who lived in medieval Europe and considered unicorns to be pure plus 99% of the people in Europe, America, Australia, and so forth over the past few centuries who considered unicorns to be a paragon of goodness?A broken clock is right twice a day, evil can do good, and sometimes the butler actually did it. One example is not a pattern.Too bad for the poor unicorns then. They'll have to bear the shame of killing anyone not a virgin female who approaches them, according to folklore, and if you follow the more ancient stories they're far more vicious.
Point being, unicorns are evil bastardsQuoteand it doesn't really matter anyway since I'm transforming into a machine god planet.Who has a name suspiciously similar to a mythical creature which is associated by almost everyone with goodness. Which I'm sure is just a coincidence, as is the fact that Unicron created a bunch of knights with shining chassises.
THIS IS A MINIMILAST GAME, WHY ARE WE ARGUEING OVER UNICORNS[interobang]GWG's trying to argue that this guy
Granted I'm not opposed to it, just curious.
Not quite. he's saying the first image is the same asNot quite; I'm arguing that this thingSpoiler: this (click to show/hide)
There are a heck of a lot more people alive just today than there were in medieval Europe.The first type. *pessimist*Let's face it, who is more numerous: People who lived in medieval Europe and thought unicorns were bastards, or the sum total of people who lived in medieval Europe and considered unicorns to be pure plus 99% of the people in Europe, America, Australia, and so forth over the past few centuries who considered unicorns to be a paragon of goodness?A broken clock is right twice a day, evil can do good, and sometimes the butler actually did it. One example is not a pattern.Too bad for the poor unicorns then. They'll have to bear the shame of killing anyone not a virgin female who approaches them, according to folklore, and if you follow the more ancient stories they're far more vicious.
Point being, unicorns are evil bastardsQuoteand it doesn't really matter anyway since I'm transforming into a machine god planet.Who has a name suspiciously similar to a mythical creature which is associated by almost everyone with goodness. Which I'm sure is just a coincidence, as is the fact that Unicron created a bunch of knights with shining chassises.
Also, it was actually Primus that created the transformers. Unicron eats universes because creation offends him.Not in the continuity I'm vaguely familiar with!
So I heard you like gods of destruction that eat percentages of infinite universes (http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Unicron)(4)You spark the GM an interest in one of his favorite shows when he was a kid and bring back memories while you transform into Unicron and eat your moon.
respawn, go into portal and fuse with my dragon self from RTD the law reboot(2)You try to respawn but Persus throws you in again as soon as you get out!
Send someone through the portal.(6)You throw poketwo back in the damn portal!
DISEMBARK FROM PAINT BIN, EXAMINE SURROUNDINGS AND BEGIN SETTING UP CAMPSITE
Cry(6)-(5) You try to drag Lenglon out but Lenglon is crying too much and you get angry.
Bask. Bask in my candy glory. Bask in the adulations of them all. Bask in Sugary, caramelly, nougatty, chocolatey goodness and delight.(4)You start a new civilization of candy people and you are now their god.
Continue religious movement.(3)You convert 25% of the universe to the truth about their existence.
Find something non-chocolate.(1)You are not made out of candy,atleast..
strangle a unicorn with my super arms.(5)You are a cruel,cruel Scood.Are you happy you got a 5?
Conquer the castle with my raptor mount and armored shell.(2)The tower was a illusion all along!Your tower was in another planet!
Let the Raptor eat anything edible in our way.
Defend myself from fire and bats and anything sharp with my shell.
Overthrow whomever rules from this castle.
((What's semi-immortality?))Xantacron, thank you.
Preach about the evilness of Unilos* and how it must be dismantled to avoid the destruction of all we know and love.
*Unless you'd rather be Xantacorn?
But if I spell it correctly, I can't make jokes about you being a unicorn!Because Unicron has two horns.