Turn 32Dip my hand in and drink, thereby Obtaining Milk. Perform the Akashic Ritual with the time I have left using the vat as the reagent.
5You drink the milk and perform the Ritual. The memory of your death comes flooding back. You know who you were. You also know who was responsible, and you know where that infernal priest is right now.
Ask my friendly potion spirit if there's any way we can survive whatever is going on outside.
4"Why? What's wrong?"The potion spirit then floats into the sky and observes for a bit. Eventually it comes back to you, voice quivering with terror.
"We need to get out of this world. RIGHT NOW! Do you know a way to do that? 'Cause it's pretty important, I mean, I do mean RIGHT NOW! If we can't get away completely...ummm...You know that story, Noah's Ark?" drink milk with the armor, knight and king in celebration for a successful quest and that we have a sun again.
3You sit down and drink with the king and knight. Bothadtam has climbed a tree, but the rest of you enjoy some mugs of refreshing milk.
Look at the world around me. Observe as much as I possibly can.
3You hang at the top of your tree and take in the landscape. You see Moorsburg nearby, the City, the Other Village beyond the woods, the crater where Lord Saxon's castle used to be, the Spider Cliff, a massive battle taking place on the horizon, and the swamp.
"I wholeheartedly declare myself. BARON BARON VON BARON, to be responsible for that as the prophet of the sun and calisthenics!"
Gather worshippers for the calisthenic church of the sun and issue the one order: prophet needs booze
6You set up your cult in the remains of the bar and send forth your minions on a mission to acquire more of a beverage for you. You wait for quite a while, but your minions have become bogged down in insanity, time travel, potentially-apocalyptic crises, random media crossovers, and epic final battles. They call the whole saga Basics and Beer.
Go find materials for a necklace of adaptation.
This is what a necklace of adaptation does.
3You find a heavy chain and a medallion. They don't seem to possess any magic yet.
SLAP TOGETHER A WOODEN, ARROW-SHAPED SIGN USING LEFTOVER WOOD, WALK TO THE NEAREST ROAD OR WALKING TRACK AND INSTALL IT THERE, POINTING TOWARDS MY LAIR.
THE SIGN SAYS "MILK FOR SALE! 70% OFF THIS WEEK ONLY!"
THAT SHOULD KEEP MY BEARS FED AND ENTERTAINED.
4A bunch of calisthenic cultists show up after seeing your sign, under the mistaken impression that "milk" is actually a synonym for champagne. They march into your circus zombear mausoleum cheerfully and are all devoured. Your bears growl what sounds vaguely like a thank you.
Run up to the unholy pail, and tear the stolen life out of it. Seperate it and all of it's strength and power, and then destroy it.
6 vs 3-1Slam into The Unholy Pail again and make a huge hole in it with my fist barrage!
Drink all the milk from the hole, win the game.
1 vs 5-1Tap into all my luck-based powers from Undead Hunt that I have been denied all this time by setting myself on fire, and then freeze all of our enemies in ice with the elemental maelstrom that surrounds me!
[Also of note: some of these powers included giving all my allies a +1 and all my enemies a -1. 
]
(Sorry for claiming in PMs that the Luck powers would help you, I didn't realize at the time that the hit you took last time would weaken you enough that the Mug Host could kill you.)
4
(Aaron vs Mug Demons)
2 vs 4-1
(Aaron vs Mug-ATHATH)
2 vs 1-1
(Aaron vs Unholy Pail)
5 vs 3-1Transform Aaron's heart into a cursed mug. Before he does luck voodoo. Fast! FAAAST!
6-1 vs 4Roll into Painkiller and make him trip and fall into the ground. This is MY holy grail milk, not going to let a guy who appeared out of nowhere to steal the win out of my hands. Use the power boost from the prayer that I saved for later.
Recover my milk from the Pail.
(Dangerous power boost)
4Kick the Holy Grail away from me.
(Grail vs Painkiller)
4+1 vs 3(Grail recovering milk)
3Shatter the doom mug and throw the reckage at ATHATH.
(Didn't apply bonus, since breaking up the Mug still potentially leaves the danger of its mass.)
3, 1 vs 3(Unholy Pail preserving consciousness)
1(Mug Host vs Aaron)
3-1 vs 2-1(Mug Host vs Grail)
3-1 vs 4(Cow)
2(Initiative:Mug Host, Aaron, Mug-ATHATH, Painkiller, Grail, Adam, Unholy Pail, Fafnir. Some events have been shuffled around to whatever I felt made a better means of describing the narrative, but results are based on the rolls.)
The weakened Mug Host launches their final assault. First, they attack Aaron. Great plumes of cold and ice slice and freeze their way through the hoard, but this is the end of the world. This is a time when gods can die. Aaron finally falls under their superior numbers. His final sight is the new Sun he helped create in the sky. The Mug Host then goes after the Grail. As they rise up, the Grail spots the body of its friend below. For a brief moment, the Grail regains its full power in a burst of righteous wrath. The flaming corpses of the mug demons rain back down on the battlefield like a shower of shooting stars. Mug-ATHATH looks down at Aaron's corpse. He looks at the crackling energy in his hand. A curse fades away, no longer needed.
Adam shouts in fury at the death of his ally. The Guardian of Earth smashes the Doom Mug into fragments. This won't outright stop the Mug, but it will limit the damage. Earth will probably only lose a continent and suffer devastating ecological effects to an impact now, but life will go on. Adam hurls shards of the Doom Mug down at Mug-ATHATH, who dodges or redirects them with ease.
Painkiller tries to swipe the power of the Holy Milk away for himself. The Grail refuses to allow this. The Grail risks its soul to the corruption within and draws forth a bit of extra strength to trip Painkiller. Both sides had forgotten to consider the Pail's opinion in all this. Painkiller takes a nasty swipe from the Unholy Pail's tendrils. The net effect is that Painkiller is knocked off his bike and floats through the Pail Dimension for a moment as he regains his balance in the meager gravity.
Still, the Unholy Pail recognizes that this fight is turning against it. The Pail reaches out and attempts to secure its consciousness in the Pail Dimension and perhaps return someday. It doesn't work at all. The Pail Dimension outright refuses, seeing the chance to rid itself of a hated enemy. The Pail hangs in the air for a moment, stunned. It's just starting to recover when it realizes that Fafnir is right in its face. Fafnir reaches forth and rips out the Unholy Pail's soul. The Pail's soul shrieks and writhes in his grip before being expended by Fafnir in a finishing energy blast.
The Unholy Pail's soul is destroyed and the body plummets to ruin in the battlefield. The shattered Pail lies dead and the glistening divine milk is spread over the battlefield, free for the taking. The Grail is the first to respond, filling itself with telekinetically retrieved milk. However, it doesn't seem to quite take. The corruption inside the Grail Mug is causing interference with the Milk. Effectively, the Grail still needs to "drink" it.
On the outskirts of the battle, a Viking longship arrives on a river to the north, a battle between Nod, the FDI, and an alien vessel spills over from the south, an army of Frankenanimals appears in the east, and a horde of cultists arrives from the west. A zealous priest and a skeletal arm also show up on the northeast corner.
The Cow attempts to run away from the battlefield, but the armies marching in from all sides stop it.
Aaron Blaze, The Mug Host, and the Unholy Pail are dead.The Holy Milk is up for grabs!"Keep fighting brothers, we shall overcome this farm for the glory of Kane!"
Command the horde to keep fighting and push through the farmers.
(I hope you don't mind me nudging you to the castle, I just thought it would be best to merge the two gigantic battles going on.)
2 vs 2Your brothers and sisters of Nod attempt a final push against the FDI oppressors. Both sides clash in indecisive conflict in the field. You're just about to send in the flame wagons when a new enemy appears in the sky.
A ship resembling a human spine with an insect head appears from above. Tiny fighters dislodge from the sides and bombard both FDI and Nod troops after the ship shows something that looks like hesitant confusion. Nod and FDI are force to make a tactical withdrawal, still fighting through the woods as the ship follows. You soon come to another battle that had been going on nearby. The carrier is distracted by it and moves toward the larger fight.
Travel to location of evildoers sun gave me, also try to gather as much paladins as possible on way there
1+2 for mental map, 6You have some trouble getting to the location, but your clear mental image helps. You can't find any real paladins, but a band of Calisthenic Church of the Sun fanatics offer to kill "booze sinners" for you. They follow along with whatever weapons they each happen to have, and you reach the location in your mind. A massive battle is taking place here, at a ruined castle. Nephalem isn't immediately visible.
"Why my dear creation, your purpose is to serve me as I go forth and make the world a better place," Florence told the antlered bearwolf hydra truthfully. After all, she is going to make the world a better place, even if it would only apply to her. See, even supervillains can be truthful! "To aid me in this noble quest, I must make you smarter so that you'll can easily think of ways to survive the terrible battles ahead. Come to me and I shall begin, my dear chap!"
Persuade the creature to agree to an 'intelligence enhancing surgery' which in reality only makes it more subservient to her will. If the bear/wolves/anthers cretins refuses and/or attacks her, kill it and add its parts to the franken-monstrosity to boost its capabilities. If the hybrid manages to escape, let it go. Chasing it is too stressful anyway.
Regardless of what happens, go find some people to use as the monstrosity's practice targets. I'm sure that a few Vikings, Nod cultists, FDI combatants, or demonic mugs annoyances will do.
5, 5The Frankenanimals buy your story hook, line, and sinker. You soon have them "upgraded" with loyalty programming. You then decide to find some targets to try them out on. Some army movements nearby lead you to a bizarre titanic battle currently taking place outside a ruined castle.
Nope, this village looks lame. Priests never have the best loot. Go find where all the rich and dangerous people are.
Wow, I didn't actually realize just how close this actually was to ending, so I guess I'll just go find something really interesting to do (like finding the little Ragnarok you guys have started) before the game ends.
3You ignore the peaceful targets and go looking for a fight worthy of Thor's sight. There. You stalk some of the aggressive farmers who call themselves "FDI". They always make for a good raid. They seem to be scouts, running from a greater threat. You soon follow them on your ship to a battle better than anything you could have asked for, even if you're not sure what half the combatants even are.
"The sun has returned but I can still feel the presence of the demos I must find them and destroy them."
Go and get a bottle and fill it with water then bless it and turn it into holy water, then pray for protection and go find a clue as to where the other demos might be.
3, 5, 1(Arm:Correct course.)
4-1You leave the former site of Dementia behind and try making some holy water. You find some crisp spring water, but aren't able to quite remember the proper ritual to make it holy at the moment. You bottle some anyway for the road and say a prayer for protection. Nothing seems different, but you sense that your prayer will one day be answered. You get fairly lost as you look for more mug demons. After an awkward situation with some confused Aztecs, the Arm finally gets frustrated and beckons you to pick it up by the humerus. It starts pointing the way like a dowsing rod with an outstretched finger as you hold it out and follow. You get rather soaked when you have to cross through some water, but you eventually find your destination. A major battle is going on, here. You were almost too late, most of the demons involved were already killed.
4 turns to Omega Doom Mug Wreckage impactOOC:The way the Holy Milk will work is that if a character drinks it, they become near-omnipotent. Any d6 they roll will be a 4 no matter what. Want to bring peace on Earth and goodwill to men in a single action? You rolled a 4. Want to enslave humanity under your eternal empire? 4. Just hoard all milk to yourself alone? 4. Those aren't your only choices, almost anything is possible. There's also enough milk to accommodate multiple users. It doesn't make you completely unbeatable, however. For instance, a Doom Mug could still kill you, and you still roll initiative normally. I'd suggest including your planned action with the action intended to get the milk. This will save you from having to wait until the next turn to use your power, by which time somebody else might have nullified it.
I was kind of overgenerous on Sprinkled Chariot and Zultan's turns(In giving a high bonus to Chariot and assuming the Arm could help Zultan), but I wanted to make sure that they would both manage to find the final battle before it's over.
Author
Topic: Minimalism and Milk 2 (Read 151463 times)