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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2127216 times)

IronTomato

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8160 on: November 22, 2013, 08:03:08 am »

- snip -
Why would I bite someone's phallus off, And keep it in my mouth?
It would be so much more efficient to use it as a weapon.
I can't wait until future versions when we'll be able to keep fingers in our mouths until they rot, then get offended at villagers who stare at us for it.
For some reason I find that to be a really good idea.
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fricy

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8161 on: November 22, 2013, 09:19:02 am »

- snip -
Why would I bite someone's phallus off, And keep it in my mouth?
It would be so much more efficient to use it as a weapon.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Niccolo

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8162 on: November 22, 2013, 09:36:48 am »

Why would I bite someone's phallus off, And keep it in my mouth?
It would be so much more efficient to use it as a weapon.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
[/quote]

You're new here, aintcha? We weaponise everything. You'll get used to it.
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What's wrong with using magma? That's almost always the easiest method.
I have issues channeling it properly to do that method. I end up flooding the fortress with magma.
Check out my RtD!

smjjames

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8163 on: November 22, 2013, 09:45:54 am »

Come on people lets get off this... track... lolz.
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wer6

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8164 on: November 22, 2013, 03:20:27 pm »

turns out, axes as a aadventurer is a HORRIBLE idea against necromancers.
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Just before leaving, Psysquid quickly summons a Burrito in his mouth.

Larix

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8165 on: November 22, 2013, 05:17:36 pm »

turns out, axes as a aadventurer is a HORRIBLE idea against necromancers.

Just use aimed shots - first at the legs, then at the upper bodies of the undead. Leg loss puts them on the floor, unable to charge and at a serious combat disadvantage, upper body strikes do decent "hitpoint" damage. Legs can't be revived separately and upper body strikes can't sever anything.
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Sutremaine

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8166 on: November 22, 2013, 07:35:34 pm »

Gen nice world. Find nice site. Make nice embark profile (turkeys, anvil, coal, iron ore, flux, emergency bauxite). See fortress's name is Zonsat. That's a pretty cool name, I wonder what it...

Welcome to Helmedstroked.

 ::)
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I am trying to make chickens lay bees as eggs. So far it only produces a single "Tame Small Creature" when a hen lays bees.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.

PDF urist master

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8167 on: November 22, 2013, 08:33:41 pm »

this is armok punishing me for save scumming and danger room exploits.

a great monitor lizard showed up with noxious secretions that were boiling extracts. I first tried to order a general alert, getting my dwarves out of the caverns, but a legendary mechanic died. before that i checked his status and saw that he was oozing blood.

one save scum later, i tried to overpower it with my military. I succeeded, but one axe lord got caught in boiling extract. I check his wounds to see that he was paralyzed and winded, then i checked his health screen and found that he CANNOT BREATHE. I plan to keep this save to remind me of this tragedy.
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We are not evil by choice, but evil by necessity.

Proto105

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8168 on: November 29, 2013, 06:20:08 am »

Earlier, I had bitten the finger off some bandit.

Several days later, I realized, the finger was still in my mouth.

*facepalm*

Finger, whats nothing. Imagine if you should been using mods and those mods having genitals modded in.

Several days someones penis in... your... mouth... Unwashed one on that matter... Rotting...


Dwarves don't have and/or need those. They have spores.. Humans do use spears though.
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KingBacon

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8169 on: November 29, 2013, 11:59:38 am »

So I've been training an army and switched from spears and hammers to axes. Every squad was doing well, but I was utter confused why one squad was progressing so slowly. Forgot to activate my conscripts, derp : P
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BanjoSnake

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8170 on: November 30, 2013, 10:15:48 pm »

Just got my first mood in a new fort!

I never bother to cross-train my dwarves for moods, too much micromanagement for my liking. Plus I like seeing what kind of weird junk my idiotic highly creative dwarves come up with.
So I was pleasantly surprised when one of my weaponsmiths was chosen by Armok to create an artifact!

Sadly I had just used up all my steel outfitting the military. Guess what the only kind of metal bar left in the fort was?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Oh well, at least he is legendary, I guess that kinda makes up for it.
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Quote from a comment made on an article about Dwarf Fortress on ArsTechnica, by theLadyfingers:
"As someone on the autism spectrum, I feel relatively comfortable summing up this game by saying: Welcome to the Autism Spectrum."

Sutremaine

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8171 on: December 01, 2013, 10:55:17 am »

Pig iron's not terrible. If it's blunt, it'll be alright. If it'd edged, it should get through copper armour, and may or may not be able to get through bronze and iron. A spear has a better chance of penetrating a 'better' armour material than an axe does.
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I am trying to make chickens lay bees as eggs. So far it only produces a single "Tame Small Creature" when a hen lays bees.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.

BanjoSnake

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8172 on: December 01, 2013, 01:12:16 pm »

It's an axe. I'll just be better off with my masterwork steel weapons. The kobolds can have the artifact.
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Quote from a comment made on an article about Dwarf Fortress on ArsTechnica, by theLadyfingers:
"As someone on the autism spectrum, I feel relatively comfortable summing up this game by saying: Welcome to the Autism Spectrum."

Sutremaine

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8173 on: December 02, 2013, 10:49:59 am »

Nah, stick it in a weapon trap to boost the value of a room.
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I am trying to make chickens lay bees as eggs. So far it only produces a single "Tame Small Creature" when a hen lays bees.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.

KingBacon

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8174 on: December 02, 2013, 11:43:10 am »

My chief smith, head of the Bomrek Clan, was killed by a magma crab. Now only 3 master smiths remain in my fort.

Now HFS is coming up the tube, the axedorfs and archers are ready, I hope it is enough.
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