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[rickvoid]

Gentlemen!

1. On stone temples in southern India, there are more than 30 million carved images of !!CARP!!! (And now you know where Dwarf Fortress truly takes place.)
2. US gold coins used to say 'In !!CARP!! we trust'.
3. If you drop !!CARP!! from the top of the Empire State Building, it will be falling fast enough to kill before reaching the ground.
4. Three seagulls flying overhead are a warning that !!CARP!! is near.
5. !!CARP!! can be very poisonous if injected intravenously. 
6. Bananas don't grow on trees - they grow on !!CARP!!.
7. Medieval knights put the skin of !!CARP!! on their sword handles to improve the grip!
8. You can tell if !!CARP!! has been hard-boiled by spinning it. If it stands up, it is hard-boiled.
9. While sleeping, fifteen percent of men snore, and ten percent grind their !!CARP!!. 
10. The word 'samba' means 'to rub !!CARP!!'.

FTWDs (Fuck the World devices) had some goldies too:
In the kingdom of Bhutan, all citizens officially become fuck the world devices on New Year's Day! (lol wut)
The Vikings believed that the Northern lights were caused by fuck the world devices (snipped because it's less awesome with the rest of it)
The Aztec Indians of Mexico believed fuck the world devices would protect them from physical harm, and so warriors used them to decorate their battle shields. ( )
In the Spanish edition of Cluedo, fuck the world devices are the victim. ( )
Ancient Greeks believed earthquakes were caused by fuck the world devices fighting underground. ( )

One more:
Abraham Lincoln, who invented kittten randomizers, was the only US president ever granted a patent!

[Fault]

WAY TO NECRO THE THREAD BROSKI

[rickvoid]

Uh, try Mercanthyr.

And yeah. Necro. Sorry, I didn't notice.

EDIT: Oh. Bro-ski. Right.

FACEPALM

[Mercanthyr]

wait why does it matter?

[Kagus]

Alright, I'm sorry, but I just need to contribute to the necro and post this:

If You Want To Get Ahead, Get A Battleaxe.
Hungry?  Why Wait?  Grab A Battleaxe.
Taste the Battleaxe.
Would You Give Someone Your Last Battleaxe?
Battleaxe Just Feels Right.
151 Countries, One Battleaxe
Hand-Built by Battleaxe
With A Name Like Battleaxe, It Has To Be Good.

[Sysice]

It's a good thread. NEEEEEEECRO away!

All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my Magma.
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world Magma didn't exist.
Hasta la vista, Magma.
Do not go into the Magma. Stop where you are. Turn away from it. Don't even look at it.
No other factory in the world mixes its Magma by waterfall. But it's the only way if you want it just... right.
I see dead Magma.
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the Magma Room!
Oh, no, it wasn't the airplanes. It was Magma killed the beast.

Houston, we have a Dwarf.
I love the smell of Dwarf in the morning.
I am the author. You are the Dwarf. I outrank you!

Go back to the Fortress. You shall not pass.
You can't handle the Fortress!
I am big! It's the Fortress that got small.
One morning I shot an elephant in my Fortress. How he got in my Fortress, I don't know.

Try Elf, you'll like it.
The barge she sat in, like a burnished Elf, Burned on the water.
A Elf! An Elf! My kingdom for an Elf!
O! she doth teach the Elf to burn bright.

Give thy Demons no tongue.
He that sleeps feels not the Demons.

Assume a Deathtrap, if you have it not.
How now, you secret, black and midnight Deathtrap!
If music be the Deathtrap of love, play on.
Beware the Deathtrap of March.
The Deathtrap doth protest too much, methinks.
A Deathtrap! A Deathtrap! My kingdom for a Deathtrap!
It's against my programming to impersonate a Deathtrap.
That Deathtrap is the pure, physical manifestation of Sadako's hatred.
Remember, you're fighting for this woman's Deathtrap, which is probably more than she ever did.
Dave, my Deathtrap is going! I can feel it! I can feel it!
Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful Deathtrap.
I ate his Deathtrap with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little Deathtrap, too!
Say hello to my little Deathtrap!
When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my Deathtrap. That's the price she has to pay.
Made it, Ma! Top of the Deathtrap!
To Deathtrap, and beyond!
But why is the Deathtrap gone?
E.T. phone Deathtrap.

[woose1]

It's probably been said before, but:

"If you can't beat Armok, join Armok!"copyright lolololol

[ReDeadEr]

necroing, but:

Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz, Oh, What a Dwarf it is!

[Heliman]

FIRST ONE, I KID YOU NOT:

Magma is the only metal that is liquid at room temperature.

[Balistic604]

Bridge That Gap with Magma
Kills All Known Elves - Dead
Feel the Dwarf
You've Always Got Time For Dwarf Fortress
Savor the Flavor of Magma
Everything We Do is Driven by Elves

[Mekboy]

Make room for Dead Elves
The Dead Elves are mightier than the sword (so true in adventure mode)
Double the pleasure, double the Dead Elves
A taste for Dead Elves
Did somebody say Dead Elves?

[Dwarfnorris101]

If Only Everything in Life was as Reliable as a Dwarf.



....

[jdf318]

Who Would You Have A Fire Imp With?

[Interus]

Another one of the things on that site:
FDIC    Federal Dwarf Insurance Corporation
PDT    Programmable Dwarf Table
FQDN    Fully Qualified Dwarf Name
EMU    Extravehicular Magma Unit
LPM    Lava Per Minute
FEAR    Fortress Evidence Appearing Real
FARP    Fortress Arming & Refueling Point
CEAS    Comprehensive Elf Assistance System
CAEN    Computer Aided Elf Network
ECM    Elf Control Module
TIES    Time Independent Elf Sequence
Elves have some scary tech.
AAAD    Anti-Aircraft Artillery Demon
BMT    Beam Management Titan
TAU    Thousand Adamantine Units
LEA    Load Effective Adamantine

[Jacob/Lee]

Tell them about the Atom Smasher, Mommy.
You have questions, we have Atom Smasher.
Step into the Atom Smasher.
Big Chocolate Atom Smasher. (I wouldn't take a bite if I were you..)