A workshop workshop. All workshops must be assembled at the workshop workshop before they can be placedBut the workshop workshop is itself a workshop! I know things like this already exist (only Armok could have made the first anvil, since you need an anvil to make an anvil) but at least the impossible creation happens off-screen.
Goblin kidnappers and night hags infiltrating taverns under false identities to leave the map with either children or adults.You lose the thread. This is a great suggestion (and will work in worlds with neither goblins nor night trolls in case anyone would be foolish enough to counter with the old 'procgen worlds means no kidnapping' argument...).
rideable pacifist dragons.
Lovingly modeled sexual reproduction system for all animals including dwarves. With detailed descriptions that pop up unannounced.
Always online DRM.You, friend, are evil incarnate, and I will be reporting you to the video game police.
Remove elves and sell them as a DLC.That'd be a DLC no one would buy.
Serious permadeath, once you lose the game erases itself and writes a hidden and obscure entry on the registry that makes imposible run the game again. It would require you to format your computer to play it again.Or find out the registry entry's name using DFHack, then delete it.
Dentistry inn both modes. Enough said. :DWait what!?
Dentistry inn both modes. Enough said. :DWait what!?
I've always wanted to be wandering dentist in adventurer mode! This is one of my life's dreams to see DF coming this far.
Now stop crushing my dreams!
Cats should be one of the possible spheres for generated magic. Cat-based spells everywhere.That's not a terrible suggestion, that's a terribly great suggestion.
I will make a cat sphere mod when the magic update rolls out.Cats should be one of the possible spheres for generated magic. Cat-based spells everywhere.That's not a terrible suggestion, that's a terribly great suggestion.
Cats for the cat god!I will make a cat sphere mod when the magic update rolls out.Cats should be one of the possible spheres for generated magic. Cat-based spells everywhere.That's not a terrible suggestion, that's a terribly great suggestion.
Meows for the meow mix!Cats for the cat god!I will make a cat sphere mod when the magic update rolls out.Cats should be one of the possible spheres for generated magic. Cat-based spells everywhere.That's not a terrible suggestion, that's a terribly great suggestion.
Start charging 60$ for each copy of the game and sell every new feature implemented as a DLC with prices ranging from 5 to 40 bucks.
Actually those two aren't really bad.His hair is white, his legs are covered in the scratches of a small animal...call in the vampire slayers!
I can picture an arachnophobic simply crumbling to a crying ball rocking in the floor if it has to fight a giant spider or a spider-man of the non marvel variety.
And cats can be dicks sometimes. Cats randomly scratching people from time to time or being constantly aggressive towards someone they decide they don't like could not only be realistic, but fun and even be employed as a mechanism to detect vampires, were-monsters, possessed, ghosts and so on.
Every time a dwarf vomits, every dwarf who can see them has a 20% chance of being grossed out and vomiting as well. Past a certain population density (known as the Emetic Critical Mass), a single nauseous dwarf can kick off a self-sustaining chain reaction of barf that can persist indefinitely. Hope you like green floors!If you want it to be even worse, dwarves become hungrier and More thirsty as they vomit causing a high density chain reaction can get huge part of the fort starving.
We must prepare for the Vomitpocalypse.Every time a dwarf vomits, every dwarf who can see them has a 20% chance of being grossed out and vomiting as well. Past a certain population density (known as the Emetic Critical Mass), a single nauseous dwarf can kick off a self-sustaining chain reaction of barf that can persist indefinitely. Hope you like green floors!If you want it to be even worse, dwarves become hungrier and More thirsty as they vomit causing a high density chain reaction can get huge part of the fort starving.
Also dwarves will eat vomit off the ground if they're hungry enough, which in turn grosses them out and makes the vomit.Every time a dwarf vomits, every dwarf who can see them has a 20% chance of being grossed out and vomiting as well. Past a certain population density (known as the Emetic Critical Mass), a single nauseous dwarf can kick off a self-sustaining chain reaction of barf that can persist indefinitely. Hope you like green floors!If you want it to be even worse, dwarves become hungrier and More thirsty as they vomit causing a high density chain reaction can get huge part of the fort starving.
We must prepare for the Vomitpocalypse.Sig'd.
Giant Cave Spiders are now eusocial, forming massive communal webs and working together to hunt down prey. They also reproduce like real spiders, with each female laying thousands of eggs per year.
A two-part suggestion:
1. Toady should implement static electricity: All materials must be updated with accurate Conductivity properties, all movable objects should have both their degree and intensity of charge updated at all times, as it could constantly change because of things like dwarves (wearing insulating footwear) walking across a woolen rug and touching a metal piece of furniture, or combing their hair in an arid climate.
2. All of these changes and calculations must not affect the visible game in any way whatsoever.
Adding onto horrible suggestion above, Electric cave eels (large ones obviously) that zap adjacent dwarves through conductive armor by the use of a interaction spell, causing muscle spasming and burns before wrestling them into a watery grave.
Because of course magic lightning bolts will be arriving sooner or later.
As long as we're going with the Skyrim theme:-The snooty elves tell you which trees to worship.
-religious zealots loudly proselytizing in town squares.
-shooting someone with a bow while in stealth launches them across the room.
-giants herdmammothsgiant elephants--which they will milk for cheese-making purposes--and wield clubs that fling victims forty z-levels straight up.
-seriously, they're so fucking loud, and they never stop.
-if an adventurer uses a bucket on a shop-keeper, they may freely steal everything in the shop with no repercussions.
-(get large moonstone gem) "ANOTHER HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON".
-half of a given world's population is completely unkillable because they're "iMpOrTaNt To ThE pLoT".
-"WE ARE BUT MAGGOTS, WRITHING IN THE FILTH OF OUR OWN CORRUPTION!"
-all horses are Grand Master climbers by default.
-Vampires whine about all environmental effects (IE in a cave, in snow, in the rain, in the sunlight, etc) only not complaining about moonlight.As long as we're going with the Skyrim theme:-The snooty elves tell you which trees to worship.
-religious zealots loudly proselytizing in town squares.
-shooting someone with a bow while in stealth launches them across the room.
-giants herdmammothsgiant elephants--which they will milk for cheese-making purposes--and wield clubs that fling victims forty z-levels straight up.
-seriously, they're so fucking loud, and they never stop.
-if an adventurer uses a bucket on a shop-keeper, they may freely steal everything in the shop with no repercussions.
-(get large moonstone gem) "ANOTHER HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON".
-half of a given world's population is completely unkillable because they're "iMpOrTaNt To ThE pLoT".
-"WE ARE BUT MAGGOTS, WRITHING IN THE FILTH OF OUR OWN CORRUPTION!"
-all horses are Grand Master climbers by default.
Reverse Feature Creep:These are absolutely horrible. Well done. :D
Full simulation:
Closed circuit:
Full Protonic Reversal: instead of constantly improving DF to be more like real life, just change real life until it's indistinguishable from DF.I can see the headlines now:
You should be able to trade children away to goblin merchants in exchange for weapons and warbeasts.
Elves should have a certain chance to become hungry after not having eaten for a while. A hungry elf will path to the nearest dwarf and eat it whole.
Kobolds should be able to set up traps inside your fortress. They should also have the ability to taunt nearby dwarves, causing the dwarves to gain a large chunk of stress.
I mean, in my first post, I specified that this thread is also for ill-conceived, short-sighted, and absurd ideas, not just "bad" ones. An idea can be a ton of fun to think about and still be completely unrealistic or possibly detrimental to DF as it is.Well mine wasn't DLC. You can't download hardware!
A sub-species of Kobold called the Catbold, which can adopt dwarves the same way cats do. This does not stop them from stealing things from your fortress, and adopted dwarves will gain unhappy thoughts if you destroy Catbold eggs in your fortress.
Savage-biome-exclusive amphibious giant-sponge-elephants. They have the size, tusks, and weight of giant elephants, plus the raw indestructibility of giant sponges.
When your fort hits 50-year mark, moss should start growing on exposed stone block constructions.
I will say no more 8)
Implement socialism/communism.
We'll be getting various forms of corruption pretty soon, so I guess it'll also be a game about communism-in-practice. :D
Dwarfs = CommunismIt goes a long way toward explaining Marx's huge, glorious beard...
not sure if this goes here;Only if you think that's a bad/unrealistic idea.
migrant waves come with a wagon and/or pack animals (depending on the social status of the migrants, the unmarried peasant might come with nothing more than the clothes on his back)
not sure if this goes here;This is not that bad, as BigUglyWorm pointed out.
migrant waves come with a wagon and/or pack animals (depending on the social status of the migrants, the unmarried peasant might come with nothing more than the clothes on his back)
Or animal men come in the migrant wave with dwarf pulled wagons.I like the way you think!
Only if you think that's a bad/unrealistic idea.
A better fit for the thread might be something like "migrants can arrive with pack animals and animal-drawn wagons, but the animals can be literally anything, from oxen and deer to fluffy wamblers to dragons. Normal restraints on tameness apply."
This is not that bad, as BigUglyWorm pointed out.
You've given me another idea: every time you start a new fortress, you have to guide the wagon, along with its load of dwarves and supplies, from the mountainhomes to your embark site, in the format of an Oregon-Trail-like text-adventure. Anything and anyone you lose on the way is gone at embark (good luck if you drop your only anvil - or worse, your only miner - while crossing a river), any you have to manage supplies while navigating your world's terrain for however long it takes to reach your destination.That actually sounds kind of awesome.
take in-game weeks to reach.
You've given me another idea: every time you start a new fortress, you have to guide the wagon, along with its load of dwarves and supplies, from the mountainhomes to your embark site, in the format of an Oregon-Trail-like text-adventure. Anything and anyone you lose on the way is gone at embark (good luck if you drop your only anvil - or worse, your only miner - while crossing a river), any you have to manage supplies while navigating your world's terrain for however long it takes to reach your destination.
It would be fun for the first couple worlds, sure, but then eventually you'll generate a world where the only sustainable location for a fortress is on the other side of the continent from your starting civ and will take in-game weeks to reach. :PMy thoughts exactly. And long stretches of evil or savage biome between the mountainhomes and an embark site go from "fun curiosity" to "insurmountable impediment".
Don't you think wagons could actually be useful in adventure mode?I mean, for larger parties or adventurers hauling huge objects across long distances, maybe, if you could get some critters to pull--
I mean, for larger parties or adventurers hauling huge objects across long distances, maybe, if you could get some critters to pull--They can die when they get spooked, though. (Well, technically when the hauling animals get spooked.)
Wait. According to the wiki, wagons are actually creatures with no organs. Which means...
INVINCIBLE, MOBILE COMBAT DUMMIES! Finally, I can train a world class wrestler while traveling the world in ~*~style~*~
Or we can assume that people rich enough to own wagons are rare and it won't be an issue. ;)This is not that bad, as BigUglyWorm pointed out.
but think of the parking space and other issues that it would create!! imagine wagons flooding your fort! blocking off traffic, sinking in rivers, etc!
it would be chaos!
I can't get over that the more brutal the suggestion - the more it seems to actually fit the game.IRL rabies has a 100% mortality rate, so it'd be like a weaker, more-immediately-fatal werebeast syndrome.
Rabies:
Your dogs wander off to fight a river otter just minding its own business. Rabies gets passed as a syndrome, and soon dwarves are bubbling at the mouth.
There's this girl (https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/jeanna-giese-rabies-survivor/) that actually survived and she's probably now chained on a lab or something.I can't get over that the more brutal the suggestion - the more it seems to actually fit the game.IRL rabies has a 100% mortality rate, so it'd be like a weaker, more-immediately-fatal werebeast syndrome.
Rabies:
Your dogs wander off to fight a river otter just minding its own business. Rabies gets passed as a syndrome, and soon dwarves are bubbling at the mouth.
And yes, DF lends itself very well to brutality.
Let's not forget, this is the game that - organically and unintentionally - gave rise to the great merbone farming incident back in the day.
I thought it was treatable before incubation. After being bit and before symptoms, you have to get 9 injections in the gut or something equally unpleasant. Dwarf equivalent is probably a single injection of you into magma.Yeah it is, but if symptoms appears you are toasted. That's why if you are bitten by a wild or street animal you need to catch it and have it tested (a more adrenaline charged version of pokemon), otherwise, against uncertainty you'll need to get the shots just in case and they are described as one of the most painful shit you can inject in your body.
How you get those inoculations - I have no clue.If it's like real-life inoculation, you'd extract blood from an afflicted individual, inactivate the pathogen (brief exposure to magma??), and inject the resulting serum into patients. And hey, as long as we're adding syringes, can we also add wieldable scalpels so I can finally play Adventurer while RP'ing as the Repo Man from Repo: the Genetic Opera? And also maybe make the available poisons and venoms actually do something...
1: You need to embark with a needle, or you can never make clothing or leather - ever.
2: You need to designate a latrine zone for your dwarfs to use.
2.5: Latrines cause massive localized pollution and miasma.
3: Dwarfs can fart and cause miasma.
4: Natural gas pockets in the earth - digging into one automatically asphyxiates the dwarfs, and causes an explosion.
5: Introducing a more hard core UnderDark (https://forgottenrealms.fandom.com/wiki/Underdark) to the game :) .
6: Implementing MSHA (https://www.msha.gov/) into the game.
7: More bureaucratic jobs.
8: Warp stones (https://warhammerfantasy.fandom.com/wiki/Warpstone) .
Idea: Toady introduces a DF-themed cryptocurrency called DorfCoin. In true dwarfy fashion, instead of digitally mining with computers, you have to literally mine it out of the ground, then refine it. It's very secure, because its value is tied to its actual, physical form, making it impossible to steal via hacking. Plus, it's shiny! (It's gold. Literally just gold, from the ground)
Both of these. Randomly. Changing mid-battle.YES! YOU UNDERSTAND THIS THREAD!
"Dwarven TrailsTM."I think I had a suggestion like this a few pages back. Still a
In Fortress mode after the embark screen, instead of immediately starting at your chosen site you play a medieval-themed clone of Oregon Trails, starring your starting seven.
How far you have to travel depends on how far your site is from the Mountainhome. How well you play determines what (and whom) you actually start with at the site.
"Urist has died ofdysenterymiasma."
"Dwarven TrailsTM."I think I had a suggestion like this a few pages back. Still a
In Fortress mode after the embark screen, instead of immediately starting at your chosen site you play a medieval-themed clone of Oregon Trails, starring your starting seven.
How far you have to travel depends on how far your site is from the Mountainhome. How well you play determines what (and whom) you actually start with at the site.
"Urist has died ofdysenterymiasma."greatawful idea, though!
Alternatively, the opposite: you don't get to play until a couple years after embark, by which time your dwarves have automatically determined fortress layout, diplomatic relations, and primary industries, among other things, heedless of your plans.
Why stop there? The entire game should run completely autonomously without any player input. This would also alleviate the need for a GUI, so the game should run quietly in the background while you read up on all the awesome things that may be happening in your invisible game on the wiki.Please see: https://medium.com/@balehman/the-tragedy-of-gj237b-928cfeae460b
"Dwarven TrailsTM."
In Fortress mode after the embark screen, instead of immediately starting at your chosen site you play a medieval-themed clone of Oregon Trails, starring your starting seven.
How far you have to travel depends on how far your site is from the Mountainhome. How well you play determines what (and whom) you actually start with at the site.
"Urist has died ofdysenterymiasma."
Urine and feces! They decay into miasma!Ah, the infamous long-standing canonical example of a thing that Toady will never add to the game. Of course, the thing that's changed since the last time Toady made his views on this known is that Oxygen Not Included has demonstrated that you're allowed to have toilets in base building sandbox games.
That's all planned~Well, it would be a lot more fun than a simple "lol u ded" message. You would witness the destruction.
Implement world ending catastrophes that can destroy the world, like world ebdubg spells, planet cracker asteroid strikes, Gods erasing the world.Multiverse ending catastrophes that destroy all your other worlds too.
May as well go whole hog with total reality failure events akin to quantum vacuum decay (you can google it, but basically the universe could theoretically delete itself, spontaneously and without warning, at any time). If one occurs, it deletes your current world, then all other worlds, then all files associated with Dwarf Fortress, then everything else on your entire computer, down through the program files, in an unstoppable wave of destruction. This entire process is triggered if a given world returns a value that is checked for periodically during play and is based on the world's size, representing random fluctuations of the quantum foam: the bigger the world, the higher the probability for an "event".Implement world ending catastrophes that can destroy the world, like world ebdubg spells, planet cracker asteroid strikes, Gods erasing the world.Multiverse ending catastrophes that destroy all your other worlds too.
May as well go whole hog with total reality failure events akin to quantum vacuum decay (you can google it, but basically the universe could theoretically delete itself, spontaneously and without warning, at any time). If one occurs, it deletes your current world, then all other worlds, then all files associated with Dwarf Fortress, then everything else on your entire computer, down through the program files, in an unstoppable wave of destruction. This entire process is triggered if a given world returns a value that is checked for periodically during play and is based on the world's size, representing random fluctuations of the quantum foam: the bigger the world, the higher the probability for an "event".Implement world ending catastrophes that can destroy the world, like world ebdubg spells, planet cracker asteroid strikes, Gods erasing the world.Multiverse ending catastrophes that destroy all your other worlds too.
Oh, and before it finishes bricking your computer, it plays a video message from ToadyOne and Threetoe that's just them laughing at you for a solid minute.
Why stop at the computer?( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Non-alcoholic beer.Easy, that just makes any dwarf that consumes such a blasphemy of a beverage berserk. Failing that, it pushes the stress levels of the
And they die then of overeatingDoes that include pets? If so, that's just brutal, if my understanding of the stress system in 0.44.12 is correct.
-snip-So, that's just DF, if it was so realistic, that !!FUN!!, burns away to !!XXFUNXX!!.
And we need a labor cattledwarf that will feed other animals.Animal Caretaker.
This thread is turning into "Actually awesome suggestions thread"Crap, you're right! We need some real stinkers, quick!
beaten to death by granite staircaseAll rock is living, and every 5000 ticks, a random thing made out of rock will suddenly reanimate and fight your dwarves. It's like The Earth Strikes Back, but somehow even more hardcore.
As i understand animal caretaker is more like doctor not a shepherd. Shepherd should be not increasable labor like constructing or so.And we need a labor cattledwarf that will feed other animals.Animal Caretaker.
Even worse/better, these newAnd the next logical step is furry sexual orientation for dwarfes and dwarfloving for animalpeople. Some of them pretend to be just animals to be "closer" to dwarfesand improvedanimal people will work as substitutes for the animal they're dressing up as for the purposes of making a zoo. *pukes*
Each world should have a procedurally generated selection of plant and animal species, including every single extinct species that's ever existed on earth. So in some worlds you'll have neanderthals alongside dwarves and modern humans and carnivorous dinosaurs stomping around eating giant insects from the carboniferous period. In some worlds vascular plants haven't yet evolved, making it much harder to feed your dwarves.
In every terrible idea, there exists a basis for at least one good idea.Toady should delete the source code for DF, and program by hacking instead.
I think most of these suggestions should at the very least be made into real mods somewhere down the development road. Admit it, that would be awesome! :P
*cough cough http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=167935.0 cough cough*Each world should have a procedurally generated selection of plant and animal species, including every single extinct species that's ever existed on earth. So in some worlds you'll have neanderthals alongside dwarves and modern humans and carnivorous dinosaurs stomping around eating giant insects from the carboniferous period. In some worlds vascular plants haven't yet evolved, making it much harder to feed your dwarves.
This one looks like a real planned feature.
Toady should delete the source code for DF, and program by hacking instead.Control-x Meta-c Meta-butterfly (http://)
What does this meanToady should delete the source code for DF, and program by hacking instead.Control-x Meta-c Meta-butterfly (http://)
1: Why let some algorithm have all the fun? Give players more autonomy by letting them manually set the values on all worldgen variables one at a time.Honestly, I like it to some extent. How one goes about implementing that in a way that won't look like the Matrix or something is the hard part. What next, allowing players to determine the final state of a world, given some initial parameters, by answering [104,1012] yes/no questions about literally everything that goes on in a world, including those before history actually starts?
2: Make DF more multiculturally accessible by having Unish as the default language (with optional translations for Bolak, Afrihili, and Solresol)DF seems like a game completely unsuited to full localization to any other language, since a lot of things are hardcoded. So of course, DF should implement a generalized notion of language, one that allows any sequence of arbitrary symbols to have meaning, given some complete and consistent set of rules, just to be able to translate it to other languages. Sure, the result might be as cryptic as the general proof for Fermat's Last Theorem, but that's the fun of it.
That"s impressive. Is there a download link for it that I'm not seeing?
I assume he meant to link to this: https://xkcd.com/378/What does this meanToady should delete the source code for DF, and program by hacking instead.Control-x Meta-c Meta-butterfly (http://)
simulating musth for male elephants.I actually like this idea
Male horses should attack nearby non-vermin creatures that are not female horses while near another male horse to make the horse simulation aspect or the game more accurate.Turn DF into Horse Economy 3: Stable Markets.
Make... all actions in the game... performed like in Black & White... using hand and signs drawn on the land with this hand. Mouse only control.And once more my leet PalmPilot (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graffiti_(Palm_OS)) skillz would be useful! Mwuhahahaha!!!
Male horses should attack nearby non-vermin creatures that are not female horses while near another male horse to make the horse simulation aspect or the game more accurate.Horses do that ?
An evil-biome equivalent to the fluffy wambler called a Scruffy Shambler. Shaggy and rangy, they nonetheless have a pet value in the thousands, adopt dwarves like cats, reproduce extremely quickly, and will steal food and drink. Additionally, whenever they suffer tissue damage (from, say, an attempted gelding, getting in fights with other animals, or being culled by your militia), they release Shambler Soot, a potent form of thralling dust that makes anyone it touches into a Shambler Shambler, opposed to all life except Shambler-type critters while also boosting their stats. Concerned pet owners and hungry wildlife quickly turn into a powerful horde of undead monsters, even as the original Shamblers clean out your larder.I'm imagining people caging them up and dropping them on elves and goblins.
Oh, and if you can keep them alive through their 18-20 year lifespan, they explode upon death with the force of a small cave-in.
An evil-biome equivalent to the fluffy wambler called a Scruffy Shambler. Shaggy and rangy, they nonetheless have a pet value in the thousands, adopt dwarves like cats, reproduce extremely quickly, and will steal food and drink. Additionally, whenever they suffer tissue damage (from, say, an attempted gelding, getting in fights with other animals, or being culled by your militia), they release Shambler Soot, a potent form of thralling dust that makes anyone it touches into a Shambler Shambler, opposed to all life except Shambler-type critters while also boosting their stats. Concerned pet owners and hungry wildlife quickly turn into a powerful horde of undead monsters, even as the original Shamblers clean out your larder.
Oh, and if you can keep them alive through their 18-20 year lifespan, they explode upon death with the force of a small cave-in.
All of these Scruffy Shambler suggestions are good and valid and I love them.Damn. We need something undwarffortressable.
Politics is impossible. Lies are not implemented.
FBs, Titans, and Megabeasts can all now be trained, and wont be violent when trainedTo anyone or anything. Ever. Also, trained megabeasts can't be restained, butchered, sheared, bred, or sold and will selctively fall asleep on drawbridges and in doorways.
Eventually, after like 10 years of game time, some werebeasts gain some degree of control over their bestial selves. This could be as simple as not killing other sentients, and only attacking livestock, or as complex as "They are a regular citizen all the time, but during the full moon they gain a massive stat boostTo maintain this control, they must adhere to a strict regime of vegetarianism and total passivism. They also have to stay sober forever, so affected dwarves will always get the jims.
during a strange mood, a dwarf may not create an artifact at all, but instead create 1/9th of a larger artifact. Dwarves can produce duplicate artifact pieces. The larger artifacts are game breaking bits of magma-powered sci fi technology, including time machines, cyborg and drone creation rooms, and a cloning chamber. Each one requires completely different components.Components are picked randomly from a list of 600 unique item types, only four of which are multipurpose. All large artifacts require components with specific material properties, which are decided at the time of assembly. If any part is made of the wrong material, assembly fails and all reagents are destroyed.
Giant Cave Spiders are now eusocial, forming massive communal webs and working together to hunt down prey. They also reproduce like real spiders, with each female laying thousands of eggs per year.
That would be hella rad.
I utterly despise the pair of you.We aim to please! :D
You could just share your UI seed, you know.Heisenberg's UI: not only is your user interface procedurally generated from a new seed each time, but attempting to observe that seed for documentation fundamentally alters it, forcing you to make educated guesses as to which seed produces what UI.
Also, building off the whole artifacts thing: due to their esoteric design and construction (and the often-bonkers nature of their creators), it's impossible to tell what an artifact actually does until you pump it full of magma and power it up. Will it be a helpful mechanical drone with the stats of a legendary miner? Or an autonomous killbot with adamantine armor and weapons? A pair of instant-transport portals? Or aThey're also insanely complex, so unless the operator is a Legendary+5 Mechanic AND Legendary in all relevant scholar skills (Mathematician, Optics engineer, etc.), the superartifact has a 90% chance of failing catastrophically. For player convenience, Dwarves are automatically assigned to this task and cannot be prioritized by skill or pathing.laserplasmasuper-magma-powered mining drill that, upon activation, instantly drills a ten-block-wide hole straight down through the roof of the circus? Only one way to find out!
And indeed, just like in real life, the least competent dwarves are prioritized for operating the thing that could kill everyone.Also, building off the whole artifacts thing: due to their esoteric design and construction (and the often-bonkers nature of their creators), it's impossible to tell what an artifact actually does until you pump it full of magma and power it up. Will it be a helpful mechanical drone with the stats of a legendary miner? Or an autonomous killbot with adamantine armor and weapons? A pair of instant-transport portals? Or aThey're also insanely complex, so unless the operator is a Legendary+5 Mechanic AND Legendary in all relevant scholar skills (Mathematician, Optics engineer, etc.), the superartifact has a 90% chance of failing catastrophically. For player convenience, Dwarves are automatically assigned to this task and cannot be prioritized by skill or pathing.laserplasmasuper-magma-powered mining drill that, upon activation, instantly drills a ten-block-wide hole straight down through the roof of the circus? Only one way to find out!
Also, building off the whole artifacts thing: due to their esoteric design and construction (and the often-bonkers nature of their creators), it's impossible to tell what an artifact actually does until you pump it full of magma and power it up. Will it be a helpful mechanical drone with the stats of a legendary miner? Or an autonomous killbot with adamantine armor and weapons? A pair of instant-transport portals? Or aThey're also insanely complex, so unless the operator is a Legendary+5 Mechanic AND Legendary in all relevant scholar skills (Mathematician, Optics engineer, etc.), the superartifact has a 90% chance of failing catastrophically. For player convenience, Dwarves are automatically assigned to this task and cannot be prioritized by skill or pathing.laserplasmasuper-magma-powered mining drill that, upon activation, instantly drills a ten-block-wide hole straight down through the roof of the circus? Only one way to find out!
Hopw catastrophic? Just a portal to hell? spontaneously conjured bronze colossi? opening portals to both hell AND heaven to have angels AND demons (both hostile towards dorfs) duking it out for eternity within your base? Just plain nuclear detonation? Specifics, man!Well, obviously, that varies between artifacts. If they try to use Centerpoint Station, for example, your dwarves might ram the entire worldgen into a quasar, but if they activate Numidium, they're just as likely to erase themselves from the continuity of time.
Possible meeting alternative themselves who are controlled by alternative player irlThis is getting way too meta for me.
And of course al lot of items just roll around the work place in like 10 tiles aroundAn item that is rolling is treated as a projectile, and will mostly injure the legs and feet of its victims.
And, of course, have the nobles order mandates for permanently staffed and fully equipped gyms that they, like all non-working dwarves, will never use.
Nah, bronze colossuses come from humans attempting the same thing.But why we don't meet steel colossus?
Unworthy dwarves just get fewer limbs, that's all.
But why we don't meet steel colossus?Upon ascension, their egos instantly spiral out of control, dissolving local reality and transporting them to a pocket dimension populated entirely by their own kind. It is said that any mere mortal to venture into this SWOLEZONE would be immediately obliterated from exposure to the raw, unfiltered essence of MAD GAINS.
Is it bad that I think this would be a really awesome experience and that someone out there would probably find a way to not only beat the swolezone but to also colonize itI mean, of course they would. Because this is Dwarf Fortress, a game where "hard" means "mundane" and "impossible" means "a fun challenge".
When your fortress gets large enough, you get petitions from outside civilizations to do *something* on your land. For example, the humans or dwarves might ask to be able to use your dumping zone to drop off their own refuse.This will grant you an annual payment. How is this terrible, you ask? Sometimes theyll ask for you to give uyp a map tile from your fort. You dont know what map tile theyre asking for. When given up, you cant do ANYTHING on it, and if your dwarves path through it, it automatically starts a war. Any items on that tile instantly belong to the claiming civilization, INCLUDING artifacts. Oh, and dwarves will insist on pathing through it.
When your fortress gets large enough, you get petitions from outside civilizations to do *something* on your land. For example, the humans or dwarves might ask to be able to use your dumping zone to drop off their own refuse.This will grant you an annual payment. How is this terrible, you ask? Sometimes theyll ask for you to give uyp a map tile from your fort. You dont know what map tile theyre asking for. When given up, you cant do ANYTHING on it, and if your dwarves path through it, it automatically starts a war. Any items on that tile instantly belong to the claiming civilization, INCLUDING artifacts. Oh, and dwarves will insist on pathing through it.
Part of this might actually be a good idea, for exemple the nearby civilization might ask to preserve a sacred place to them, or a vainquished enemy might have to destroy any fortifications in a given place.
Riots are planned.Then we need to suggest worse riots, like: In any fort, there's a 20% chance that a given migrant wave will have either a Radical Anarchist or a professional Rabble Rouser. These look just like ordinary dwarves, hiding their true motives the same way vampires do, until they spot an opportunity to raise discontent and sabotage local industries. Players must be extra watchful for migrants with an affinity for ASSERTIVENESS, AMBITION, or DISCORD, for if allowed to mingle, they can quickly convert your ale-sodden citizens -or worse, your military- to their cause and start a brutal uprising. If successful, they will overthrow all your nobles and promptly get assassinated by their fellows, leaving a power void for the nearest goblin settlement to exploit.
leaving a power void for the nearest goblin settlement to exploit.Goblins will invade as soon as possible, ignoring distance and obstacles (ocean, mountain, glaciers, etc.), if a fort is experiencing a power vacuum. They will teleport in if needed.
Ethics can cause trade refusal for non-elves. This means that your legendary dwarf bone scepter can no longer be sold.Dwarves don't want to touch it either. Not even the one who made it. It just sits there in the workshop with everyone refusing to go near.
Like an elf statue?Truly the most abhorrent thing a dwarf could make.
The chance is increased with how stupid a dwarf is.That doesn't bode well, given the nature of nobles.
But any change made on the map immediately will be reflected back to the world.If a child vandalizes the artifact map with art supplies, the areas affected turn to a material of a random color, but with the same symbol as the original.
Like an elf statue?Truly the most abhorrent thing a dwarf could make.
Like an elf statue?Truly the most abhorrent thing a dwarf could make.
A wooden elf statue.
A grown wooden statue of group of elves with beards.Like an elf statue?Truly the most abhorrent thing a dwarf could make.
A wooden elf statue.
A grown wooden elf statue.
AAll right. I asked for it.grown wooden statuelive exhibit of a group of elves and elf-identifying dwarves shaving off dwarven beards.
Witch burnings, any dwarves that suitably anger followers of a certain god/godess/thing best forgotten can be burnt at the stake
AAll right. I asked for it.grown wooden statuelive exhibit of a group of elves and elf-identifying dwarves shaving off dwarven beards.
A statue of sober, clean shaved dwarf! Calling a contractor to construct a wall.
AAll right. I asked for it.grown wooden statuelive exhibit of a group of elves and elf-identifying dwarves shaving off dwarven beards.
A statue of sober, clean shaved dwarf! Calling an elf contractor to construct a wall.
That looks like a statue depicting a completely justified murder of everyone involved.AAll right. I asked for it.grown wooden statuelive exhibit of a group of elves and elf-identifying dwarves shaving off dwarven beards.
A statue of sober, clean shaved dwarf! Calling an elf contractor to construct a wall.
Dwarves now slowly regenerate any damaged limbs while in magma instead of burning. Also, they are amphibious.That looks like a statue depicting a completely justified murder of everyone involved.AAll right. I asked for it.grown wooden statuelive exhibit of a group of elves and elf-identifying dwarves shaving off dwarven beards.
A statue of sober, clean shaved dwarf! Calling an elf contractor to construct a wall.
Including sculpturer who made it.
And mason who mined the stone.
And geologist who found it.
And cartographer who found the place for fortress.
And everyone else just to make sure this will never happen again
I'd actually really like to see an ability to switch to adventure mode at any time during a fortress game. Of course, this would cause trouble with time, so we'd just have to keep time at the fortress level. Meaning if you fast travelled at all, you immediately starve to death.DF's combat system might be slightly trickier if every couple seconds translates to a whole day.
So basically a Khornate cat?FOOD FOR THE FOOD DISH!
One of the possible origins of megabeasts is some kind of cult completely obsessed with magic, to the point that they managed to produce a beast so horrific, that they were all killed shortly after, their name lost to time, and the beast's existence forgotten.
in worldgen dwarves (by accident) and goblins (on purpose) will actively try to make the world as unsustainable as possible. They burn down forests, hunt animals to extinction, and overfish. If a goblin demon leader has a syndrome, or access to ingested syndromes otherwise, they will actively dump the extract into the water to poison it. Dwarves do the same, but in their case as waste disposal, and not chemical warfare. Oh and all these are accelerated ot the extent a worlds nearly impossible to live in by the time year 5 is over.That's the most horrible suggestion here, because it would mean that for the game to be playable a mechanic that counters this would have to be added to elves, which would make elves helpful and desirable.
make elves helpful and desirable.When that happens the world will end, because a world were elves are desirable is a world no one wants to live in, not even the elves.
*sigh*POUR HIM WITH MAGMA!!!
Elves are alright, guys.
Clearly, something worse must be considered.
All dwarves will demand rooms of increasing quality and more furniture over time. These demands can get unreasonably specific, down to the exact material being used. Even worse, some will demand to not have certain types of buildings in their rooms, like levers. Additionally, dwarves are now incredibly protective of their possessions, and will go berserk if multiple incidents of property damage occur.
The feeling of not having a demand/"mandate" satisfied is on par with that of starvation/dehydration, scaled up by a factor of a thousand.
Tantrums temporarily give the tantrumer the [BUILDINGDESTROYER:2] token.
Megabeasts now have the [BUILDINGDESTROYER:3] token, giving them the ability to break through constructions. They will seek out to use their natural explosve abilities to accomplish this task.
All dwarves will demand rooms of increasing quality and more furniture over time. These demands can get unreasonably specific, down to the exact material being used. Even worse, some will demand to not have certain types of buildings in their rooms, like levers. Additionally, dwarves are now incredibly protective of their possessions, and will go berserk if multiple incidents of property damage occur.Still too reasonable. Let's add these:
Megabeasts now have the [BUILDINGDESTROYER:3] token, giving them the ability to break through constructions and natural walls. They will seek out to use their natural explosve abilities to accomplish this task.
Make the game into a courtroom simulator, where the player presides over dwarven litigation battles. Instead of body part status, you get the list of legal precedents available to each party. Combat mechanics control the issuing of briefs.As someone who enjoyed the Phoenix Wright games, this is...weirdly appealing.
Handled by combat mechanics you say?Make the game into a courtroom simulator, where the player presides over dwarven litigation battles. Instead of body part status, you get the list of legal precedents available to each party. Combat mechanics control the issuing of briefs.As someone who enjoyed the Phoenix Wright games, this is...weirdly appealing.
Oh gods.
I'm so boring.
Booze explosions have a change to destroy walls, supports, floors etc. Damage is cumulative and it depends on material like granite is harder to destroy than sandstone.Booze can explode when it gets upset. Seeing its fellow booze get consumed counts as a traumatic experience. (It's traumatic because the booze feels excluded.)
Make the game into a courtroom simulator, where the player presides over dwarven litigation battles. Instead of body part status, you get the list of legal precedents available to each party. Combat mechanics control the issuing of briefs.
Handled by combat mechanics you say?Urist McAceAttorney cancels File Class Action: Interrupted by res judicata.
Urist McLawyer strikes the defendant in the argument, the argument goes flying off in an arc
Real genetics and all genetic related things like appearance, deceases etc
A minority of NPCs are able to read your adventurer's face to hint at you having the ability to savescum at will.
4 hours? What a noobYou know, you're right. It should be every 20 minutes, with the game still running in the background so when you get back to it, the fortress will have progressed through a whole 24 hours of gameplay without user input. Jobs can be automatically assigned based on predictive software, so you don't have to worry about your herbalists and fishermen loafing around indoors or your miners sitting on their picks when fresh adamantium veins are in sight. Weavers and clothiers will weave and clothe nonstop using anything they can find to ensure that your dwarves are well dressed, and of couse your broker will always get a fair price when buying large leather low boots and finely decorated arrows.
DF available on Steam.
Catmium is a new ore, when it comes into contact with water it explodes into a bunch of berserk cats.The berserk cats are also made of made of catmium. Cats now splash at water if they see a fish. Dwarves adopted by cats provide the cat a water bowl and dry cat food, even if the cat is berserk and attacking them.
Yeah, procedural metallurgy. You have to find out what recipe of ores/base metals create which use(ful/less) alloys. Per game!
1xMithril + 2xDalekanium gives Flubber, perhaps. 2xUnobtanium + 1xDilithium gives you Cavorite, for some reason. This worldgen only, and no guarantee you'll end up with any original or produced material that is weapon's-grade, magma-safe or even unexplodey.
DF available on Steam.
Oh my god. Was the steam release announced for this one? but seriously, everyone joking about paid releases being a terrible suggestion is absolutely killing me here.
You, of course, must control them if you choose the custom embark button - micromanaging every single detail before you can actually embark.
Other ideas. All civilizations can kidnap your dwarves now.Will be in the game i time if armor gives you proper world generation seed.
Civilizations will coordinate attacks together if you piss them off enough. If you fight off goblin sieges easily enough, and start fighting back, elves and humans may start sieging you as well, one after another.Probably too but requires AI. But really not that bad.
civilizations will create various superweapons during worldgen. Superweapons may include, but are not limited to, recreations of Boatmurdered, a big enough pit to hell to where it empties its contents onto the surface, terraforming the surface with cavern plants and animals (somehow), spreading evil/savagery/spheres over the whole world, breeding megabeasts, creating colossi of whatever materials they have handy (mostly steel and adamantine), and turning the whole world into a poisonous hellscape through cinnibar, lead, and pitchblendeMagical dooms day machines? Planned.
Invading goblins learn to avoid traps after invading at least once.Particularly clever gobbos will litter your map with traps of their own, ensuring that your dorfs suffer even after the invasion. Your hunter turned up dead in a pit full of upright spikes? Well, at least he's not like the fisherdwarf who walked into a tripwire and got shot to death by ten pre-loaded crossbows.
Massively increase the flammability of booze, to the point where drunk dwarves will routinely undergo spontaneous combustion, especially near magma or in hot weather.
Alternatively, tie the flammability of booze to its quality: low-value, low-proof beers just evaporate, while more exotic liquor burns fiercely, and SunShine practically explodes if overheated or handled incorrectly.
Dwarf fortress now sends your entire hard drive to the NSA whenever you generate a world as part of an effort to test the dangers of chinese espionage methods.What, are the Chinese going to run dwarf fortress on government computers to slow them down?
Epic Games was recently accused of using their launcher to spy for China after some people found out that Epic Launcher was collecting a lot of data. https://www.reddit.com/r/PhoenixPoint/comments/b0rxdq/epic_game_store_spyware_tracking_and_you/Dwarf fortress now sends your entire hard drive to the NSA whenever you generate a world as part of an effort to test the dangers of chinese espionage methods.What, are the Chinese going to run dwarf fortress on government computers to slow them down?
Well, at least he's not like the fisherdwarf who walked into a tripwire and got shot to death by ten pre-loadedFTFYcrossbowsshotguns.
:DWell, at least he's not like the fisherdwarf who walked into a tripwire and got shot to death by ten pre-loadedFTFYcrossbowsshotguns.
Dwarf fortress now sends your entire hard drive to the NSA whenever you generate a world as part of an effort to test the dangers of chinese espionage methods.I would think the US government would, if anything, want to research DF players' habits as reference for
Magma Stills are now in the game. They are much faster than normal stills, but produce pure alcohol instead of the normal drinks. Dwarves will drink pure alcohol first if it is available, producing a very strong positive thought once inebriated. The major drawback is that pure alcohol is so concentrated that it causes dwarves to pass out and non-dwarves to outright die.
The most thing i like about this thread is how some people suggest terrible things that appear to be already planned or most probably will be planned and implemented in future.We are all aware, seeing as you've already mentioned it at least five separate times.
I did? Hm. That is possible. Thanks for pointing it.The most thing i like about this thread is how some people suggest terrible things that appear to be already planned or most probably will be planned and implemented in future.We are all aware, seeing as you've already mentioned it at least five separate times.
Great can't wait till petitions for slade tables in the tavernCould be entertaining... C'mon, feel the noise! (https://g.co/kgs/mDjG3j)
Young children will occasionally play with levers by pulling them.
So basically Rimworld?I would love that just for the immature joke potential.
Fully-customizable names:
Remove all that charm and character in the pre-determined dwarven words for names of locations, governments, and objects - instead, just type in whatever name you want!
3. Poisoning food with various syndromes ( or Armok forbid, booze ). Preferably the targets favorite food. DSKs can either poison the raw ingredients ( and risk discovery ), or the food itself if preparing meals. As there's a fair chance the wrong dwarf will eat the poisoned food there's potential for much fun.
Aw snap, it's Fools' Day!
Suggestion in honor of fools: dwarves now have a Mischief stat, with high Mischief leading to pranks like randomly pulling levers, activating traps, and running around yelling about forgotten beasts. Dwarves with poor senses of humor will respond to these antics with Violence.
Possible pranks include the teleportation prank, the screetching near beds prank, the zone deactivation prank, the zone activation prank, the punch prank, gnoming the booze stockpile, the economy activation prank...Aw snap, it's Fools' Day!
Suggestion in honor of fools: dwarves now have a Mischief stat, with high Mischief leading to pranks like randomly pulling levers, activating traps, and running around yelling about forgotten beasts. Dwarves with poor senses of humor will respond to these antics with Violence.
Dwarves that die with high Mischief will rise as Mischievous Ghosts on April 1st even if slabbed or buried. They will take full advantage of this by playing a prank on the fortress every tick.
Put DF up for sale on Steam.
Oh wait...
Plus revised interface and better tutorialization.tutorials are bad
(INB4 someone gets all gatekeepery and says tutorials are bad)
Include genetic mutations as a result of inbreeding. Tiny forts will result in genetically disordered Dwarves. Likewise, you better keep getting animals or your critters might turn sterile!As part of the new artifact display system, you can set up Ripley's-style freak shows filled with your genetic aberrations. People will come from far and wide to see your two-headed cows and six-legged sheep. With a skilled enough butcher/leatherworker/fish cleaner, you can even make fake taxidermied animals, like jackalopes and Fiji mermaids.
Include genetic mutations as a result of inbreeding. Tiny forts will result in genetically disordered Dwarves. Likewise, you better keep getting animals or your critters might turn sterile!As part of the new artifact display system, you can set up Ripley's-style freak shows filled with your genetic aberrations. People will come from far and wide to see your two-headed cows and six-legged sheep. With a skilled enough butcher/leatherworker/fish cleaner, you can even make fake taxidermied animals, like jackalopes and Fiji mermaids.
Put the entire interface behind a text parser.Any instance in which you have to move a cursor is now handled by entering a special 'move' mode, in which you have to type in the direction of movement to get it to move. One step at a time.
1. Change the POV from 'Overseer' to one of the dwarves. you play the actual Expedition leader.
Non-lateral Relationships
Instead of dwarves forming relationships totally equally - dwarves can now fall in love and have that love completely rejected. This continuously adds negative thoughts until the dwarf starts posting messages to other dwarves calling itself and "incel"
God. You made it so good now I want it.Why thank you, I-
"On her left upper arm is an image in red dye. The image depicts a skull and a snake. The snake is embracing the skull. The snake is striking a menacing pose. The skull is burning."This makes me want the tattoos know.
"On his upper body is an image in black dye. The image depicts a dwarf, an axe, trees, and elves. The dwarf is striking a menacing pose. The elves are striking submissive poses. The dwarf is embracing the axe. The axe is striking down the trees. The dwarf is laughing. The elves are crying. The trees are burning."
This makes me want the tattoos know.I KEEP! DOING THIS!
I don't think we can think anything that can be as actually terrible suggestion. Except things that are technically impossible or too difficult or requires the whole game reworkRandom world deletion isn't terrible?
Every bit of in-game text is presented in dwarven language where possible. Hope you've been reviewing your vocabulary, so you can tell your gusil urists from your lolum usids.Each time a new world is made a new language is procedurally made as such there's never two of exactly the same.
Three years is a bit much though.
Do ents drop logs on death, at least? Or are they just worthless, flammable punching bags destined for the atom smasher?The logs count as body parts, so you have to butcher them first, using a new job class called the Wood Butcher. Though depending on the density of wood they're made of, hauling their carcasses could take months.
Ents wood make for good combat training. Wood certainly help with the elves, if they ever invade. Emphasis on 'if', 'cause those damned elves won't come and fight me already.Fix'd
ENTS
when cutting more trees than the elves told you to, they come to your area and turn all surface trees into ents. They then procede to leave the map, leaving you with just some holes in the ground.
Seems like Ents are the new most hateble species. make them a playable civilization! no constructions, no feeding, no nothing. You only get to wander slowly and tell boring tales.You forgot to mention that they would be the ONLY playable civilization.
You forgot to mention that they [Ents] would be the ONLY playable civilization.Incorrect. You could also play as Giant Sponges.
-Replacement anvils can be found in the wild, but they grow on trees and drop without warning when "ripe".
True. Too good to be true.
I guess a quack could give people real bad advice.
True. Too good to be true.
I guess a quack could give people real bad advice.
That's called a lying personality and socially awkward organiser with only dabbling consoler skill.
Unironically I think its kind of brutal but having broken dwarves captured by fortress guards and immobolized into the traction benches while a Psychotherapist works on them could happen like...
Choose your own 15th mental health treatment
- Lobotomises them surgically, knocking off a large portion of their mental attributes and possibly loss of limb/sensory function but pernamently 'fixes' them, high risk of dying. Uses Gelding skill and they never risk going into high stress again
- Theraputically talks and consoles the dwarf until they are sane again, which knocks off stress until they become haggard, risk of being bored to death.
- Variation of the first, treppanning a hole into the skull to relieve the 'stress' pressure, causing them to lose a lot of blood and open a wound on the head but otherwise bring the dangerous behaviour to a halt, emergency option for stress reduction. Trepanning especially was very popular in classical human times. Blood isn't replaced so obiously can only be prescribed sparingly before the dwarf dies of bleeding out
A simple, consistent way to make dwarves less crazy? Surely you jest.
I like how a thread for terrible suggestions can still add good suggestionsOf course. Figuring out what's bad is the first step toward figuring out what's good.
For dwarfes with poor memory and/or spatial sense pathfinding works incorrectly making them lost on the map and wonderign around trying to find the place they wanted to go to. Bad thoughts are in the deal of course.Finding Urist?
Urist The Maze RunnerFor dwarfes with poor memory and/or spatial sense pathfinding works incorrectly making them lost on the map and wonderign around trying to find the place they wanted to go to. Bad thoughts are in the deal of course.Finding Urist?
Debearding!It is terrifying.
Going off of the boardgame idea...
DF: The Tabletop RPG
Sounds like a brilliant idea in theory, sure, until the GM finds out that he/she has to roll randomly on every individual aspect of worldgen before they can even start building an adventure. Every single one. It'll make FATAL seem like a pleasurable experience by comparison, that should tell you something.
Look it up if you really want to know (spoiler alert: you don't).Can confirm, I looked it up and have regretted it ever since.
1. Most booze requires water (I cant believe people thing thats legitimately a good idea. that makes a large amount of embarks actually impossible)Most embarks have access to cavern water, ice, cacti, fruit trees, or caravans. An evil reanimating embark with dry caverns may be problematic, unless you could use milk or a new underground crop.
Oh, come on. Just build an aqueduct from the nearest river. Of course it can require several proxy fortresses but still doable.Hire a necromancer contractor to do it with zombie labor.
A vilanous necromancer plan to take over building market using cheap workforce.Oh, come on. Just build an aqueduct from the nearest river. Of course it can require several proxy fortresses but still doable.Hire a necromancer contractor to do it with zombie labor.
I suppose I should write down my terrible ideas before I start forgetting them. :P
1. Anyone wearing a shirt dyed with redroot has their dodge, shield use, and armor use skills disabled until they are no longer wearing such a shirt. ;D
2. Pool of blood + stone floor = muddy stone. So Urist McNoble can heroically sacrifice their life for their people, creating the cropland they need to survive, instead of having the traditional Unfortunate Accident.
3. Not sure this actually belongs here since I think it's actually good: once coffee and tea are fully implemented (which I assume they will be since the wiki says the plants are already in the game), humans should need caffeine in the same way that dwarves need booze. Could tie in with Kyubee's #3 above as well, with any given dwarf or human potentially needing alcohol and/or caffeine and/or various other substances.
No, anyone wearing anything dyed red does everything 50% faster.
Why redroot, specifically?Redshirt (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redshirt_(stock_character)). Egan_BW's alternate interpretation is also valid, and not mutually exclusive. :) Maybe that should be what happens when a goblin wears a red shirt.
Infiltrating monsters with fourth wall abilities. They are aware of where the player is looking and will move around to avoid being spotted whenever possible. They can also move when the game is paused. The only way to spot them is by the dead dwarves they leave in their wake, and the only way to stop them is by setting up traps and then looking away.
If only the zombies followed orders instead of killing the clients...Ok. How about a 5% discount?
Elves will send Cultural Sensitivity Officers to live in your fortress, who will report back on your treatment of trees in real-time, and additionally penalize you for using wood you've already harvested, including in processes that are normally elf-safe, like steel production. Refusing access to these officers is considered hostile action, and can lead to cessation of trade or outright war, depending on the elves' current opinion of you.If they're allied with humans, they can convince them to put trade sanctions on you also.
Food Allergies. Dwarves not only get a negative thought from eating a food they dislike, they could also be stricken with a random pre-selected syndrome from eating foods they are allergic to.Yo, legit, this is such a cool idea!
Effects range from mild allergic reactions (temporary sleepiness, vomiting) to severe (prolonged paralysis, skin/organ rot, bleeding) to fatal (immediate suffocation).
Known allergies could be listed in thoughts & preferences, but new ones could develop during gameplay
Food Allergies. Dwarves not only get a negative thought from eating a food they dislike, they could also be stricken with a random pre-selected syndrome from eating foods they are allergic to.You should propose terrible ideas. This one is good.
Effects range from mild allergic reactions (temporary sleepiness, vomiting) to severe (prolonged paralysis, skin/organ rot, bleeding) to fatal (immediate suffocation).
Known allergies could be listed in thoughts & preferences, but new ones could develop during gameplay
Yo, legit, this is such a cool idea!
You should propose terrible ideas. This one is good.
Now y'all are just describing life with lactose intolerance.
"She has enjoyed a fine meal lately. She has suffered from gastric upset lately. She has enjoyed a fine meal lately. She has suffered from gastric upset lately. She has enjoyed a fine meal lately. She has suffered from gastric upset lately."
I have thought of this five times since first reading it, and have laughed every single time.
"She prefers to consume alpaca milk cheese but is conflicted by this because she is severely allergic to alpaca milk."
Food Allergies. Dwarves not only get a negative thought from eating a food they dislike, they could also be stricken with a random pre-selected syndrome from eating foods they are allergic to.Yo, legit, this is such a cool idea!
Effects range from mild allergic reactions (temporary sleepiness, vomiting) to severe (prolonged paralysis, skin/organ rot, bleeding) to fatal (immediate suffocation).
Known allergies could be listed in thoughts & preferences, but new ones could develop during gameplay
Eye tracker support
Dwarf Fortress is combined with Kerbal Space Program. There's no time warp. All the other planets are procedurally generated much like the initial world, and you have to craft the materials for spacecraft engines yourself.This actually sounds like a cool idea
Like Tobii eye trackerEye tracker support
Can you describe what you mean by this?
Like Tobii eye trackerEye tracker support
Can you describe what you mean by this?
Electricity should be implemented, but only in one specific way--electronic cigarettes. Any idle dwarf with the Bone Carver labor enabled may randomly go to a Craftsdwarf's Workshop and produce a bone vape, the construction of which trains the Alchemist skill. Using the vape burns distilled alcohol (no beer or wine), creates a dense cloud of smoke, and tempts viewers to try the act themselves. One year after the creation of the first vape (and annually thereafter), all smokers in the fort will gather and hold a competition--the winner is acclaimed the "Vape Lord", which becomes an unappointed noble: the reigning vape lord (cannot be the same winner as the incumbent, except by default) is entitled to a Lavish Bedroom and two demands.The annual gathering of vape enthusiasts should be called Vapecon.
If any of your starting seven have poor memory/focus, they will 'forget to load random embark items onto the wagon. Bought an extra anvil, just in case? Oops! Urist McScatterbrain left them both at the Mountainhome.
Dwarves with low endurance (or poor spatial sense) show up at the embark site 1-2 weeks after the rest of the group; they either can't walk that fast, or get lost along the way.
. . . can slowly suffer miner, cumulative damage to their lungs . . .FTFY. In any Bad Suggestions thread, all opportunities for bad puns must be taken.
A new type of construction, the patio umbrella. Use 10 materials to create a 3 tile x 3 tile construction that acts as a floor and a ceiling in the center tile, and as a ceiling in the surrounding 8 tiles, but the tiles above cannot be built on or walked on, and the umbrella deconstructs if excessive weight is placed on it.Rain is considered to be 'excessive weight'.
I opted for subtlety, but rest assured, the wording was intentional.. . . can slowly suffer miner, cumulative damage to their lungs . . .FTFY. In any Bad Suggestions thread, all opportunities for bad puns must be taken.
Also, on the subject of patio umbrellas: high winds can take them, flinging them all about. If the hit a dwarf, they'll do a tiny bit of damage, as well as traumatizing them to the point where any flying creature will send them into a blind panic.
They have a small chance of impaling the dwarf, usually somewhere vital
Patio umbrellas automatically generate a 'Deconstruct Patio Umbrella' job when it rains.
Deconstructing a patio umbrella has a 75% chance of failure.
Failing to deconstruct a patio umbrella creates a job cancellation notice and a bad thought in the dwarf that made the attempt.
Betty-Boop-style cartoon logic: anything and everything can, at any point, spontaneously spring to life, usually just long enough to perform a couple simple actions. Barrels will drink booze from themselves, trees will hurl fruit at passersby, tables will donkey-kick dorfs in the ribs, etc.
Additionally, any time music is played in your fortress, inanimate objects will bob, sway, and hop about in time with it. Try not to get motion sick as your entire tavern--musicians, guests, tables, chairs, and even engravings--does the salsa.
Additionally, any time music is played in your fortress, inanimate objects will bob, sway, and hop about in time with it. Try not to get motion sick as your entire tavern--musicians, guests, tables, chairs, and even engravings--does the salsa.Your entire embark can get up and go swimming at the beach.
Betty-Boop-style cartoon logic: anything and everything can, at any point, spontaneously spring to life, usually just long enough to perform a couple simple actions. Barrels will drink booze from themselves, trees will hurl fruit at passersby, tables will donkey-kick dorfs in the ribs, etc.This would be a great interaction for savage good biomes. You suddenly receive job cancellation spam and find a dozen animated barrels in your tavern, doing a dance.
Additionally, any time music is played in your fortress, inanimate objects will bob, sway, and hop about in time with it. Try not to get motion sick as your entire tavern--musicians, guests, tables, chairs, and even engravings--does the salsa.
Upon setting up a library, a noble from the Scribes' Guild arrives to make sure that no unauthorized copies are made. Doing so is a hammerable offense. If the justice system is not set up, the noble sends a siege against the fortress. Due to a bug, it is impossible to petition to make authorized copies.
I actually really love the idea of kobold caravans. Namely, I love the idea that they don't actually know what caravans are or how trade works, but they've watched the Tall Folks come with their wagons, offloading certain things at the fortress and taking other things away (often shiny things!). So now they've built a cart from sticks lashed together with ivy and loaded all their Illicit Treasures on it, convinced that if they just fork over enough copper coins and silver crossbow bolts, they can finally get that masterwork adamantine helm they've always wanted.
Honestly, it's like watching little kids pretending to run a store.
Honestly I'd probably give them the helm 90% of the time, just out of pity. :PThe real secret weapon of the kobolds: being lovably pathetic.
Adamantine is now highly radioactive, it's coloration resulting from Cherenkov radiation.
My thinking was more that the best metal for arms and armor now gives your dwarves radiation poisoning and cancer. I'd love to see radioactive materials, as long as they're other materials.Adamantine is now highly radioactive, it's coloration resulting from Cherenkov radiation.
A radioactive mineral is not a bad suggestion.
It could have mythological, magical, religious meanings. cursed artifacts, malign structures etc.
In the future, researchers could discover the secret and destroy myths and religions that were built on it.
I have read many good suggestions in this thread.
A radioactive mineral is not a bad suggestion.At some point there really should be repercussions for using pitchblende for barrels.
A radioactive mineral is not a bad suggestion.At some point there really should be repercussions for using pitchblende for barrels.
Lead poisoning -You're both right, and you should keep saying it.
Dwarves go mad if they drink out of lead goblets too often, or if their bedroom walls are rich in lead.
These are good suggestions. Also, eating organs has a small chance of getting people sick. Maybe this should be called the Any Suggestions Thread, as we’ve kinda been using this for both good and bad suggestions. Here is an actually bad suggestion, probably, unless it’s a good one, every creature can randomly become incorporeal and back to corporeality, all without the creature knowingA radioactive mineral is not a bad suggestion.At some point there really should be repercussions for using pitchblende for barrels.Lead poisoning -You're both right, and you should keep saying it.
Dwarves go mad if they drink out of lead goblets too often, or if their bedroom walls are rich in lead.
Lead poisoning -
Dwarves go mad if they drink out of lead goblets too often, or if their bedroom walls are rich in lead.
Just imagine an entire fortress suffering from satanism from drinking water and alcoholImproved.
But every dwarf is lactoze intolerant. Miasma spawning doubledJust imagine an entire fortress suffering from satanism from drinking water and alcoholImproved.
Milk is the only safe beverage, but fort residents still don't drink it. Needless to say, becoming a werebeast/vampire/necromancer also turns them into a satanist. Satanists will randomly kill and mutilate themselves and others. Naturally, the lack of a Satan in their mythology also causes distraction from being unable to pray.
Graffiti engravings. You just have random spots in the fortress saying Urist was here.Oh gods, please let this be a thing and let them be like those old-ass graffiti works.
The exact opposite of food.Anti food: when ingested, makes them more hungry. Anti feces slow down plantgrowth when used as fertilizer
Anti diarrhea: It somehow gives dwarves explosive diarrhea. Literally. They just explode into a cloud of magma mist and miasma.The exact opposite of food.Anti food: when ingested, makes them more hungry. Anti feces slow down plantgrowth when used as fertilizer
Anti miasma caused by the explosions smells like the best thing ever, since it’s the opposite of miasma. This causes dwarves and other creatures to be starved or dehydrated to death by standing in and smelling the stuff while forgetting about their survival needsAnti diarrhea: It somehow gives dwarves explosive diarrhea. Literally. They just explode into a cloud of magma mist and miasma.The exact opposite of food.Anti food: when ingested, makes them more hungry. Anti feces slow down plantgrowth when used as fertilizer
Speaking of. Gnome blight addiction and general drug addiction. Take too much and seemingly happy dwarf turns into berserker. Without a doze even more bad thoughts come, immediate tantrum and suicide attempts.Anti miasma caused by the explosions smells like the best thing ever, since it’s the opposite of miasma. This causes dwarves and other creatures to be starved or dehydrated to death by standing in and smelling the stuff while forgetting about their survival needsAnti diarrhea: It somehow gives dwarves explosive diarrhea. Literally. They just explode into a cloud of magma mist and miasma.The exact opposite of food.Anti food: when ingested, makes them more hungry. Anti feces slow down plantgrowth when used as fertilizer
Speaking of. Gnome blight addiction and general drug addiction. Take too much and seemingly happy dwarf turns into berserker. Without a doze even more bad thoughts come, immediate tantrum and suicide attempts.Elven visitors will sell it to your dwarves for their valuables or the clothes off their backs (even if that's an adamantine breastplate.) If a dwarf doesn't have anything to trade, they'll steal something, possibly resulting in a hammering.
Introduce marijuana, derived from existing hemp plants. Dwarves who use it experience a drop in stress and are far less likely to start fights, but will also devour mass amounts of food and booze until they come down off their high. There's also a small chance they'll have a bad trip, resulting in a huge burst of stress.It can also give your dwarves cyclic vomiting syndrome. This is basically just cave adaptation, but random.
Introduce marijuana, derived from existing hemp plants. Dwarves who use it experience a drop in stress and are far less likely to start fights, but will also devour mass amounts of food and booze until they come down off their high. There's also a small chance they'll have a bad trip, resulting in a huge burst of stress.This sounds like a good idea
Anti magma mist: It's dangerously cold and will turn dwarves into *ice statue of a dwarf*.Anti miasma caused by the explosions smells like the best thing ever, since it’s the opposite of miasma. This causes dwarves and other creatures to be starved or dehydrated to death by standing in and smelling the stuff while forgetting about their survival needsAnti diarrhea: It somehow gives dwarves explosive diarrhea. Literally. They just explode into a cloud of magma mist and miasma.The exact opposite of food.Anti food: when ingested, makes them more hungry. Anti feces slow down plantgrowth when used as fertilizer
Dwarves should quote YTP's.What’s ytps?
All of them, at the same time.Dwarves should quote YTP's.What’s ytps?
Dwarves should quote YTP's."Mah boi, this peace is what All true warriors strive FOR!"
Dwarves can eat magma but they will get explosive diarrhea.Literally explosive. It's a quick, efficient way to dig through large volumes of waste rock, and an excellent use of any unskilled peasants or persnickety nobles you have milling about.
"That's a stone, Urist. You didn't make it."Dwarves should quote YTP's."Mah boi, this peace is what All true warriors strive FOR!"
"I just wonder what the Goblins are up to!"
"Sure was nice of da dwarves to invite us over for a siege, eh, Udoz?"
"I Hope they made Lotsa BABIES!"
Procedurally generated UI !This sounds cool, it would add a new layer to the game
That would put end to all these criticisms Toady gets for not making game user friendly enough, because UI will be part of the game.
Sometimes you can use mouse, sometimes it is keyboard only.
Sometimes it is more visible and clear, sometimes more cryptic.
And different types of UI seeds can shared among players.
You have to improve UI by...discovering it's parts in fortress libraries. Some part of it will probably be revealed in WG the rest is up to you.
Procedurally generated UI !Even better if these are combined. Every world having its own UI libraries
That would put end to all these criticisms Toady gets for not making game user friendly enough, because UI will be part of the game.
Sometimes you can use mouse, sometimes it is keyboard only.
Sometimes it is more visible and clear, sometimes more cryptic.
And different types of UI seeds can shared among players.
Dwarves should be able to mine . . . for dwarves. Just dig them out, and they get to work.Suggestions like this are why I love this thread.
Some professions occur as layer dwarves--Planters are sedimentary, Furnace Operators & Wood Burners are igneous (intrusive and extrusive, respectively), and Pressers are metamorphic. Gem Cutters & Gem Setters occur frequently in small clusters, and your embark may have one or more types of Blacksmith, Armorsmith, Weaponsmith, and/or Metalcrafter available, appearing in veins.
You have selected an embark with an aquifer. You may be flooded with Fisherdwarves. Continue anyway [Y/N]?
You have struck Strand Extractor! Praise the miners!
Potatoes in reverse.So...
Dwarves should be able to mine . . . for dwarves. Just dig them out, and they get to work.A creature that can be freed by being mined out would actually be interesting as all hell. Assuming the game doesn't have that already.
Potatoes in reverse.This post haunts me. What does this mean? You turn booze and food into solid nuggets? A food item where you eat the peel and throw away the flesh? A staple crop that grows in reverse? That reverses dwarves? That comes fully grown, sprouts a plant, then shrinks into useless seeds? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??
Dwarves should be able to mine . . . for dwarves. Just dig them out, and they get to work.A creature that can be freed by being mined out would actually be interesting as all hell. Assuming the game doesn't have that already.
"Foreman, I'm afraid we've dug too deeply!"Dwarves should be able to mine . . . for dwarves. Just dig them out, and they get to work.A creature that can be freed by being mined out would actually be interesting as all hell. Assuming the game doesn't have that already.
Potatoes in reverse.This post haunts me. What does this mean? You turn booze and food into solid nuggets? A food item where you eat the peel and throw away the flesh? A staple crop that grows in reverse? That reverses dwarves? That comes fully grown, sprouts a plant, then shrinks into useless seeds? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??
Potatoes in reverse.Potatoes in reverse.This post haunts me. What does this mean? You turn booze and food into solid nuggets? A food item where you eat the peel and throw away the flesh? A staple crop that grows in reverse? That reverses dwarves? That comes fully grown, sprouts a plant, then shrinks into useless seeds? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??
This is, perhaps, the best worst suggestion possible. It's a suggestion that has no meaning at all.
Suggestions like this are why I love this thread.:)
A creature that can be freed by being mined out would actually be interesting as all hell. Assuming the game doesn't have that already.Perhaps an immature form of gabbro man, that has yet to learn how to free itself from its gabbro matrix?
Dwarves will also free unmined dwarves from the walls without designation, and get an unhappy thought if unable to do so. Mined dwarves also have max cave adaptation. Additionally, unskilled miners are likely to injure the "dwarf ore" during extraction. As any dwarf can pick up a pick and dig them out... this leads to a lot of work for the hospital staff. This labor cannot be disabled."Foreman, I'm afraid we've dug too deeply!"Dwarves should be able to mine . . . for dwarves. Just dig them out, and they get to work.A creature that can be freed by being mined out would actually be interesting as all hell. Assuming the game doesn't have that already.
"Ye gods, don't tell me we've awoken a Balrog?!"
"No, it's even worse..."
[echoing from a distant tunnel] "Where are my resplendent sleeping quarters, peons??"
"It's a king."
Perhaps an immature form of gabbro man, that has yet to learn how to free itself from its gabbro matrix?
Mrs GlyphPerhaps an immature form of gabbro man, that has yet to learn how to free itself from its gabbro matrix?
The gabbro man has to take the red pill in order to free itself from the gabbro matrix, and begins training itself to break the physics of DF.
Dwarfs = CommunismCould be like a Sonderkommando sort of thing?
Elves = Anarcho-primitivism
Goblins = Fascism*
Humans = Monarchism
*If you're willing to ignore that they're willing to kidnap and integrate other races' children, and not just tear them to pieces.
It's all good. To be honest, the idea of sonderkommando fits goblins better in terms of lore, but I think we all know who'd be most likely to use such a labor force in practice (hint: it's the folks who use wardogs as babysitters and build water cannons that shoot blood).Dwarfs = CommunismCould be like a Sonderkommando sort of thing?
Elves = Anarcho-primitivism
Goblins = Fascism*
Humans = Monarchism
*If you're willing to ignore that they're willing to kidnap and integrate other races' children, and not just tear them to pieces.
Sorry for digging this up from last year, I just clicked on the new replies for the thread and for some reason I wound up on that page. *shrug*
Yet another reason to admire kobolds, they've made cuteness into a working system of government.
So where does that leave kobolds?
Yet another reason to admire kobolds, they've made cuteness into a working system of government.
I thought kobolds had no system of government. ;)
speaking of kobolds, i had a better idea for df+kerbal space program. kobold space program.This sounds interesting, adding a new rocket part, Sensor, could allow you to find and dodge these falling rockets
basically you have to deal with the odd failed kobold spaceship (ie all of them) falling out of the sky and blowing craters in the surface.
Protesters!I actually think this would be good for the game to add
Before getting to the point of "Oblivious" or "Berserk", upset dwarfs may start an "Organize Protest" activity where they influence others to join them, and this group would gather in a dining room to protest the lack of a food type, the rain, the dead bodies, not enough soap, no well, or whatever the complaint is.
This activity could reduce the dwarf's level of upset or increase it, "Others expressed sympathy and agreed with me, I feel better" or "Others support me, I am going to form a coalition and take over".
speaking of kobolds, i had a better idea for df+kerbal space program. kobold space program.This sounds interesting, adding a new rocket part, Sensor, could allow you to find and dodge these falling rockets
basically you have to deal with the odd failed kobold spaceship (ie all of them) falling out of the sky and blowing craters in the surface.
Strap the items you wish to take on a cannon, shoot it high, it will still be in the sky, the “sensors” can be things that vibrate asked on air currents also strapped to said cannon ballspeaking of kobolds, i had a better idea for df+kerbal space program. kobold space program.This sounds interesting, adding a new rocket part, Sensor, could allow you to find and dodge these falling rockets
basically you have to deal with the odd failed kobold spaceship (ie all of them) falling out of the sky and blowing craters in the surface.
It does somewhat fly in the face of DF's "no post-1400s tech" rule, tho. :P
Okay, but check it: gunpowder was invented in China before the year 1000. All we hafta do is find DF Asia, cram a bunch of the stuff into stone pots, and put a chair on top, and we're golden!speaking of kobolds, i had a better idea for df+kerbal space program. kobold space program.This sounds interesting, adding a new rocket part, Sensor, could allow you to find and dodge these falling rockets
basically you have to deal with the odd failed kobold spaceship (ie all of them) falling out of the sky and blowing craters in the surface.
It does somewhat fly in the face of DF's "no post-1400s tech" rule, tho. :P
This very much beats my cannon ball ideaOkay, but check it: gunpowder was invented in China before the year 1000. All we hafta do is find DF Asia, cram a bunch of the stuff into stone pots, and put a chair on top, and we're golden!speaking of kobolds, i had a better idea for df+kerbal space program. kobold space program.This sounds interesting, adding a new rocket part, Sensor, could allow you to find and dodge these falling rockets
basically you have to deal with the odd failed kobold spaceship (ie all of them) falling out of the sky and blowing craters in the surface.
It does somewhat fly in the face of DF's "no post-1400s tech" rule, tho. :P
call dwarves something like terraburgers.
Dwarves spend about half of their time engaging in extensive and thorough beard hair and get very unhappy thoughts when they are unable to.I've been thinking about this, and y'know, dwarves should have extensive beard-care routines, along with the accoutrements to go with them. Like trimming scissors, forged from metal; special shampoos and conditioners; and pomade, made from animal fat or beeswax. All dwarves will spend at least part of one day per week tending their lustrous facial hair, or else suffer unhappy thoughts.
There's a 10% chance that caravans from neighbouring civs will actually be prophets of other gods seeking to convert your dwarves to their civ's pantheon (complete with pamphlets). And good luck getting them to leave you alone after rolling on that 10% even once.Any dwarves that get sucked in by these groups will proceed to send them all their valuables as tribute, then begin raiding your fortress for more loot to give them. In return, they will receive written missives about things like "seed money", "divine returns", and "keeping the faith", as well as increasingly aggressive demands that they convert more of the fortress.
The game will pause sometimes just to say "It's time for Animaniacs..."Nothing actually happens, it's just doing it to keep you on your toes.
Trampling. If an upright creature moves over a prone creature(or creatures), it does blunt damage dependent on the size difference between the trampler and tramplee.
That depends. Have you ever looked at a high-traffic, 1-tile wide corridor inside a generated dwarf fortress and thought to yourself, "these walls aren't red enough"?Trampling. If an upright creature moves over a prone creature(or creatures), it does blunt damage dependent on the size difference between the trampler and tramplee.
Is it bad that I actually like this idea?
Introducing another race: hooch dwarves, they're like normal dwarves but so promiscuous that the things they copulate with don't necessarily need to be alive. Or exist.
Dwarves experience hangovers.
Only every day of my life. The effect should be multiplied if the trampler is wearing armored boots.That depends. Have you ever looked at a high-traffic, 1-tile wide corridor inside a generated dwarf fortress and thought to yourself, "these walls aren't red enough"?Trampling. If an upright creature moves over a prone creature(or creatures), it does blunt damage dependent on the size difference between the trampler and tramplee.
Is it bad that I actually like this idea?
Given their relative lifespans, if humans become adults at age 12, dwarves should become adults at roughly age 21.
Implement this.
Sponge Giants -Question, do they grow or heal upon absorbing liquids? Cuz that sounds cool, do they take up multiple squares? Is it even possible to code a creature that takes up multiple squares?
They're so absorbent, that if they touch your stockpiles, all liquids are absorbed by them instantly.
Sponge Giants -The same goes for bodily fluids and the magma sea.
They're so absorbent, that if they touch your stockpiles, all liquids are absorbed by them instantly.
They be liquidsSponge Giants -The same goes for bodily fluids and the magma sea.
They're so absorbent, that if they touch your stockpiles, all liquids are absorbed by them instantly.
To give every world a unique feel, the menue order and keybindings are shuffled. As is the alphabet. L, for lxampel, is thl nlw e. To makl surl you rlaeey splnd timl gltting to know your woreds.Puzzlls arl cool, this sllms intlrlsting
Yeah, but it would get frustrating pretty quickly, especially for folks playing for the first time.Oh yeah, maybe the option could be toggled at world gen?
Yeah, but it would get frustrating pretty quickly, especially for folks playing for the first time.Oh yeah, maybe the option could be toggled at world gen?
Yes, this works tooYeah, but it would get frustrating pretty quickly, especially for folks playing for the first time.Oh yeah, maybe the option could be toggled at world gen?
I'm imagining this as a possible symptom of a forgotten beast attack, maybe combined with the effect of duplicating raws. "The forgotten beast Ixilub the Wet Horror of Boredom has come!...Beware his reality-warping spittle!"
But the game randomly makes baby noises at you if you disable it, booze is replaced with milk bottles, and the game starts doing stuff for you if it deems you aren't playing well enough.Yeah, but it would get frustrating pretty quickly, especially for folks playing for the first time.Oh yeah, maybe the option could be toggled at world gen?
The worst part of this is it means the elves kinda have a point.
At random times, when a dwarf enters a bedroom that belongs to them, Chris Hansen walks in and says "I'm Chris Hansen from Idubook NBC, and we're doing a story on dwarves who meet underage elves online for sex. So if there's anything else you'd like to tell us, we'd love to hear it, otherwise you are free to walk out that arcadia wood door."Who could've foreseen this happening in a world where 12-year-olds are considered adults?
Rental fortresses: you have to select your fort from a variety of pre-made designs in various environments, each with a price based on size, location, and amenities. You have to bring in enough money to cover payments, which increase with every migrant wave; if you can't make payments, you get evicted out into the wilds or have to move back to the mountainhomes. You also aren't allowed to dig out more rooms, or smooth/engrave things to your liking.
Rental fortresses: you have to select your fort from a variety of pre-made designs in various environments, each with a price based on size, location, and amenities. You have to bring in enough money to cover payments, which increase with every migrant wave; if you can't make payments, you get evicted out into the wilds or have to move back to the mountainhomes. You also aren't allowed to dig out more rooms, or smooth/engrave things to your liking.
During some sieges, the enemy will not even attack normally. They just throw urine balloons and "concentrated fart-like grenades" in your fart and scurry away giggling like schoolgirls. The fart grenades generate way worse thoughts than miasma.The enemy will stand outside crossbow range and hurl insults and slurs at your dwarves, generating stress until one of your dorfs snaps and goes berserk. Other tactics include dumping barrels of booze into the dirt, pushing around empty wheelbarrows, and setting fire to massive piles of socks.
and setting fire to massive piles of socks.
Goblin hordes will enter the map and just. Aggressively pathfind. Furiously contemplating all the potential places they could go and how they'd get there, until your FPS tanks.and setting fire to massive piles of socks.
That actually sounds good to me. The enemy should bring piles of socks and other crap that dwarves want to claim, so they run outside. If you don't get FPS death from all dwarves running outside, they get a tantrum spiral from being in the sun and/or rain.
and setting fire to massive piles of socks.
That actually sounds good to me. The enemy should bring piles of socks and other crap that dwarves want to claim, so they run outside. If you don't get FPS death from all dwarves running outside, they get a tantrum spiral from being in the sun and/or rain.
Speaking of IKEA, it actually would be interesting to have the place you're buying goods from be a factor in their overall quality. Having a certain fortress be notorious for producing incredibly shitty weapons for instance would IMO add an extra layer of depth and uniqueness to its character.
Speaking of IKEA, it actually would be interesting to have the place you're buying goods from be a factor in their overall quality. Having a certain fortress be notorious for producing incredibly shitty weapons for instance would IMO add an extra layer of depth and uniqueness to its character.there's two ways that could go, off the top of my head; they're either keeping all the good quality equipment to themselves, or there's such a high turnover rate in the fortress that anyone who can craft good quality gear gets killed pretty quick.
Speaking of IKEA, it actually would be interesting to have the place you're buying goods from be a factor in their overall quality. Having a certain fortress be notorious for producing incredibly shitty weapons for instance would IMO add an extra layer of depth and uniqueness to its character.there's two ways that could go, off the top of my head; they're either keeping all the good quality equipment to themselves, or there's such a high turnover rate in the fortress that anyone who can craft good quality gear gets killed pretty quick.
"Should we feel bad for shipping out armor made of painted cardboard instead of the steel plate they actually ordered?"Speaking of IKEA, it actually would be interesting to have the place you're buying goods from be a factor in their overall quality. Having a certain fortress be notorious for producing incredibly shitty weapons for instance would IMO add an extra layer of depth and uniqueness to its character.there's two ways that could go, off the top of my head; they're either keeping all the good quality equipment to themselves, or there's such a high turnover rate in the fortress that anyone who can craft good quality gear gets killed pretty quick.
Or perhaps even a bit of both.
In order to purchase the game online, players must submit proof of dwarfism, such as a scan of medical records stating that they, the player, actually has achondroplasia.Or enough stupid accidents to qualify as an honorary dwarf.
In order to purchase the game online, players must submit proof of dwarfism, such as a scan of medical records stating that they, the player, actually has achondroplasia.Or enough stupid accidents to qualify as an honorary dwarf.
2) Dwarfian organ donation and life support.
A chief medical dwarf has to level up to perform certain operations correctly, doing so by dissecting fallen dwarfs and intelligent creatures (men-creatures or captured goblins). Eventually, they learn how to make dwarfian life support with pump mechanisms. This allows a dwarf to stay alive even when multiple body parts are destroyed. After a while and after plenty of research (the ethics and extent of which is a law setting), the dwarfs learn to make advanced artificial limbs and perform organ/limb donation. The register can be maintained and stocked several ways. Through justice, dwarfs can be placed on the register for committing crimes or be sentenced (if serious enough) to be harvested or dissected for research (all executed dwarfs have their bodies donated to medical science). A nobel or patrician can demand a transplant (automatic if needed) and this is performed by the chief medical dwarf (either in the fell mood/ vampire way or randomly picked like failing a mandate). This is from the lower and selects peasants first. A dwarf can be designated to be a preferred organ donor and will be harvested if required. By organs, I mean everything, from eyes to limbs.
In order to purchase the game online, players must submit proof of dwarfism, such as a scan of medical records stating that they, the player, actually has achondroplasia.Or enough stupid accidents to qualify as an honorary dwarf.
Or just sufficiently impressive facial hair. A combination of all three will even earn you a discount on the game.
First come, first serve.
Dwarves no longer /know/ which item they'll use for any job nor do other dwarves not touch that item because its reserved. Watch as all your dwarves rush to the stockpile to try and get that last log for their own personal project. See dwarves cancel jobs as the last non-economic stone is used to make a necklace instead of a mechanism. When a new pair of pants is made, all dwarves de-robe and sprint to the clothier's shop hoping to be the first to get there.
Dwarf fortress runs in real time.
In adventure mode, you're responsible for *all* bodily functions. You have to remember to correctly manage your spleen, bile ducts, heartbeat etc or face bad consequences. Heart rate set too low? Pass out. Too high, have a nice heart attack or stroke looser. Thats before your poor bodily management results in endless kidney stones, ulcers and other health issues.
Dwarf fortress runs in real time.Manual Samuel with the DF user interface. It is terrifying.
In adventure mode, you're responsible for *all* bodily functions. You have to remember to correctly manage your spleen, bile ducts, heartbeat etc or face bad consequences. Heart rate set too low? Pass out. Too high, have a nice heart attack or stroke looser. Thats before your poor bodily management results in endless kidney stones, ulcers and other health issues.
"In other fortress news, four dwarves died and seven more suffered injuries when a swordsdwarf went on a rampage through the clothier's workshop, desperate to claim a pair of masterwork silk socks that had just been produced. Witnesses were quoted as saying that it was both inevitable and terrifying."First come, first serve.
Dwarves no longer /know/ which item they'll use for any job nor do other dwarves not touch that item because its reserved. Watch as all your dwarves rush to the stockpile to try and get that last log for their own personal project. See dwarves cancel jobs as the last non-economic stone is used to make a necklace instead of a mechanism. When a new pair of pants is made, all dwarves de-robe and sprint to the clothier's shop hoping to be the first to get there.
this is just black Friday but !!fun!!
What is Manual Samuel?Dwarf fortress runs in real time.Manual Samuel with the DF user interface. It is terrifying.
In adventure mode, you're responsible for *all* bodily functions. You have to remember to correctly manage your spleen, bile ducts, heartbeat etc or face bad consequences. Heart rate set too low? Pass out. Too high, have a nice heart attack or stroke looser. Thats before your poor bodily management results in endless kidney stones, ulcers and other health issues.
What is Manual Samuel?Its a game (https://store.steampowered.com/app/504130/Manual_Samuel/), where you have to do everything manually.
Lovingly modeled sexual reproduction system for all animals including dwarves. With detailed descriptions that pop up unannounced.
If detailed reproduction becomes a thing, then as an obvious extension bards in worldgen should be able to write erotic literature.Something something plump helmet, something something flesh ball, something something giant sperm whale, etc.
'In 156, Urist Pantsanvil created "Elven Maidens of Treeflower" after a dream'.
RNG then leads to only one translation existing in the world, currently stored in a roc's nest. After retrieving the translation, you discover you cannot read it due to the fact it was written by a kobold shortly before the roc paid a visit to its cave. Thus begins your quest to find a translation for the translation.Kobold stories are written in crude pictograms. So crude, even the game doesn't understand them.
Kobolds should compose works, and these should be absolute gibberish, yet still somehow convey their meaning to the viewer. Or not, it's funnier if you can't tell wether a poem concerns the seasons or that time a roc visited the kobold cave and only some of them died instead of all of them.
Every single civilization starts at this level and has to evolve over time. Different races make progress at different speeds:RNG then leads to only one translation existing in the world, currently stored in a roc's nest. After retrieving the translation, you discover you cannot read it due to the fact it was written by a kobold shortly before the roc paid a visit to its cave. Thus begins your quest to find a translation for the translation.Kobold stories are written in crude pictograms. So crude, even the game doesn't understand them.
Kobolds should compose works, and these should be absolute gibberish, yet still somehow convey their meaning to the viewer. Or not, it's funnier if you can't tell wether a poem concerns the seasons or that time a roc visited the kobold cave and only some of them died instead of all of them.
"This is a llama parchment scroll. On the item are kobold pictograms. First is...um...a dragon? Or, like, an eggplant, maybe? The second one's definitely a sword and shield. Unless it's actually a tomato.... And that there's either a tall crown or a stubby celery stalk. So, it's most likely describing either an epic tale or some kinda recipe. Either way, it's utter shite."
This actually sounds good, though I think animalmen might be able to be addedEvery single civilization starts at this level and has to evolve over time. Different races make progress at different speeds:RNG then leads to only one translation existing in the world, currently stored in a roc's nest. After retrieving the translation, you discover you cannot read it due to the fact it was written by a kobold shortly before the roc paid a visit to its cave. Thus begins your quest to find a translation for the translation.Kobold stories are written in crude pictograms. So crude, even the game doesn't understand them.
Kobolds should compose works, and these should be absolute gibberish, yet still somehow convey their meaning to the viewer. Or not, it's funnier if you can't tell wether a poem concerns the seasons or that time a roc visited the kobold cave and only some of them died instead of all of them.
"This is a llama parchment scroll. On the item are kobold pictograms. First is...um...a dragon? Or, like, an eggplant, maybe? The second one's definitely a sword and shield. Unless it's actually a tomato.... And that there's either a tall crown or a stubby celery stalk. So, it's most likely describing either an epic tale or some kinda recipe. Either way, it's utter shite."
*Dwarves and goblins - 1.5x speed
*Humans - 1x speed
*Elves - 0.85x speed
*Kobolds -0.001x speed
If a world is old enough, words describing stuff like computers or chemistry might appear.
this would be really coolThis actually sounds good, though I think animalmen might be able to be addedEvery single civilization starts at this level and has to evolve over time. Different races make progress at different speeds:RNG then leads to only one translation existing in the world, currently stored in a roc's nest. After retrieving the translation, you discover you cannot read it due to the fact it was written by a kobold shortly before the roc paid a visit to its cave. Thus begins your quest to find a translation for the translation.Kobold stories are written in crude pictograms. So crude, even the game doesn't understand them.
Kobolds should compose works, and these should be absolute gibberish, yet still somehow convey their meaning to the viewer. Or not, it's funnier if you can't tell wether a poem concerns the seasons or that time a roc visited the kobold cave and only some of them died instead of all of them.
"This is a llama parchment scroll. On the item are kobold pictograms. First is...um...a dragon? Or, like, an eggplant, maybe? The second one's definitely a sword and shield. Unless it's actually a tomato.... And that there's either a tall crown or a stubby celery stalk. So, it's most likely describing either an epic tale or some kinda recipe. Either way, it's utter shite."
*Dwarves and goblins - 1.5x speed
*Humans - 1x speed
*Elves - 0.85x speed
*Kobolds -0.001x speed
If a world is old enough, words describing stuff like computers or chemistry might appear.
Female birds can enter strange moods, requiering specific seeds to be supplied. If the mood fails, they go berserk. If the mood succeeds, a forgotten beast egg is laid and any future eggs laid by the bird are ☼eggs☼, which hatch into an entirely new procgen bird species.This would be cool
Female birds can enter strange moods, requiering specific seeds to be supplied. If the mood fails, they go berserk. If the mood succeeds, a forgotten beast egg is laid and any future eggs laid by the bird are ☼eggs☼, which hatch into an entirely new procgen bird species.[cracking noises] "SKWONK!"
And phoenixes/Moltres, Articuno, and Zapdos.Female birds can enter strange moods, requiering specific seeds to be supplied. If the mood fails, they go berserk. If the mood succeeds, a forgotten beast egg is laid and any future eggs laid by the bird are ☼eggs☼, which hatch into an entirely new procgen bird species.[cracking noises] "SKWONK!"
"So that's where they come from!"
Your fortress has crumbled to its end
But also, procgen birds raises the possibility for you to have an actual, literal Golden Goose.
Kobolds advance as fast as whatever race they're stealing shit from.Every single civilization starts at this level and has to evolve over time. Different races make progress at different speeds:RNG then leads to only one translation existing in the world, currently stored in a roc's nest. After retrieving the translation, you discover you cannot read it due to the fact it was written by a kobold shortly before the roc paid a visit to its cave. Thus begins your quest to find a translation for the translation.Kobold stories are written in crude pictograms. So crude, even the game doesn't understand them.
Kobolds should compose works, and these should be absolute gibberish, yet still somehow convey their meaning to the viewer. Or not, it's funnier if you can't tell wether a poem concerns the seasons or that time a roc visited the kobold cave and only some of them died instead of all of them.
"This is a llama parchment scroll. On the item are kobold pictograms. First is...um...a dragon? Or, like, an eggplant, maybe? The second one's definitely a sword and shield. Unless it's actually a tomato.... And that there's either a tall crown or a stubby celery stalk. So, it's most likely describing either an epic tale or some kinda recipe. Either way, it's utter shite."
*Dwarves and goblins - 1.5x speed
*Humans - 1x speed
*Elves - 0.85x speed
*Kobolds -0.001x speed
If a world is old enough, words describing stuff like computers or chemistry might appear.
Add a token that gives creatures a spleen stat. It gradually increases and if it gets to max, your spleen explodes and you die. It can be decreased by eating cheese or stabbing yourself in the spleen.You're thinking of the Appendix
But what if it was both?Add a token that gives creatures a spleen stat. It gradually increases and if it gets to max, your spleen explodes and you die. It can be decreased by eating cheese or stabbing yourself in the spleen.You're thinking of the Appendix
Ah, double the stabbing, double the cheeseBut what if it was both?Add a token that gives creatures a spleen stat. It gradually increases and if it gets to max, your spleen explodes and you die. It can be decreased by eating cheese or stabbing yourself in the spleen.You're thinking of the Appendix
To make things worse, YOUR spleen explodes. Not the creature's spleen, but YOUR spleen.Ah, double the stabbing, double the cheeseBut what if it was both?Add a token that gives creatures a spleen stat. It gradually increases and if it gets to max, your spleen explodes and you die. It can be decreased by eating cheese or stabbing yourself in the spleen.You're thinking of the Appendix
For this to work, a computer-brain interface is neededTo make things worse, YOUR spleen explodes. Not the creature's spleen, but YOUR spleen.Ah, double the stabbing, double the cheeseBut what if it was both?Add a token that gives creatures a spleen stat. It gradually increases and if it gets to max, your spleen explodes and you die. It can be decreased by eating cheese or stabbing yourself in the spleen.You're thinking of the Appendix
For this to work, a computer-brain interface is neededTo make things worse, YOUR spleen explodes. Not the creature's spleen, but YOUR spleen.Ah, double the stabbing, double the cheeseBut what if it was both?Add a token that gives creatures a spleen stat. It gradually increases and if it gets to max, your spleen explodes and you die. It can be decreased by eating cheese or stabbing yourself in the spleen.You're thinking of the Appendix
Food has accurate nutritive qualities. Now, if you attempt to sustain your fort on cheese stew or tallow roasts, your dwarves will become malnourished and morbidly obese; varied, nutritious meals with a balance of fruits, vegetables, meats, and grains are a must. However, you still cannot actually choose what your chef's cook into meals.what if you could make the menu but the cook randomly chooses
This is the terrible suggestions thread.Food has accurate nutritive qualities. Now, if you attempt to sustain your fort on cheese stew or tallow roasts, your dwarves will become malnourished and morbidly obese; varied, nutritious meals with a balance of fruits, vegetables, meats, and grains are a must. However, you still cannot actually choose what your chef's cook into meals.what if you could make the menu but the cook randomly chooses
A new extract - elfblight.
Can be extracted from plump helmets.
Makes elves rot and sets them on fire when they step in it.
Food has accurate nutritive qualities. Now, if you attempt to sustain your fort on cheese stew or tallow roasts, your dwarves will become malnourished and morbidly obese; varied, nutritious meals with a balance of fruits, vegetables, meats, and grains are a must. However, you still cannot actually choose what your chef's cook into meals.
A new extract - elfblight.I just imagine the elven caravan rolling up to your fort and wondering 1) where all those purple mushrooms in front of the trade depot came from, and 2) why every dorf in the fort is eagerly watching their arrival.
Can be extracted from plump helmets.
Makes elves rot and sets them on fire when they step in it.
Herbalife have to identity plants they gather, which may fail if they have poor herbalist skills. Also, there's syndrome-bearing plants, which have a higher chance to be misidentified.
This is the terrible suggestions thread.The suggestion you gave sounds like a good one
This sounds really good. The game could generated cures for the illnesses, poisons and proc. generated syndromes . Herbalists // Alchimists need to do research with different parts of plants. Cutting, cooking or extracting could have different effects. Doctors could research the symptoms of proc. generated syndromes and name them. I think I got carried away...There’s no such thing as too carried away here. Maybe this thread should be renamed to Good and Bad Suggestions Thread. Your suggestion is a good one
Plump helmets (picked or unpicked) slowly replace nearby items with more plump helmets and convert booze into water.FTFY
FTFYPlump helmets (picked or unpicked) slowly replace nearby items with more plump helmets and convert booze into magma.FTFY
What does FTFY stand for?FTFYPlump helmets (picked or unpicked) slowly replace nearby items with more plump helmets and convert booze into magma.FTFY
What does FTFY stand for?Fixed that for you.
I still haven't figured out what "PTW" stands for honestly. :PPost To Watch
FTFYI still haven't figured out what "PTW" stands for honestly. :PPost To Whales
Maybe an "I have a basic random thought that needs a lot of work to become an own topic but I look for some input" sticky thread would be a good idea.Lookie here, it’s not stickied yet but I made it (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=174677.0)
Give elves beards.They have beards.
Give elves the ability to steal dwarves' beards.Give elves beards.They have beards.
Booze should have to ferment. You should have to make a non-alcoholic intermediate product (variable depending on the sugar or starch source) and store it in a fixed location for a year or more before it becomes a drinkable alcoholic beverage. (with quality rating dependent on how long it was stored before being opened or moved).
Alchohol spirits? What would happen for a ghost to be bound to alcohol?Booze should have to ferment. You should have to make a non-alcoholic intermediate product (variable depending on the sugar or starch source) and store it in a fixed location for a year or more before it becomes a drinkable alcoholic beverage. (with quality rating dependent on how long it was stored before being opened or moved).
Moreover, such alcohols could be distillated (this process would require fuel) to procude spirits, which would be stronger.
Dying from forcefully administered beer (AKA what you get in a tavern).Alchohol spirits? What would happen for a ghost to be bound to alcohol?Booze should have to ferment. You should have to make a non-alcoholic intermediate product (variable depending on the sugar or starch source) and store it in a fixed location for a year or more before it becomes a drinkable alcoholic beverage. (with quality rating dependent on how long it was stored before being opened or moved).
Moreover, such alcohols could be distillated (this process would require fuel) to procude spirits, which would be stronger.
This is the terrible suggestions thread.Booze should have to ferment. You should have to make a non-alcoholic intermediate product (variable depending on the sugar or starch source) and store it in a fixed location for a year or more before it becomes a drinkable alcoholic beverage. (with quality rating dependent on how long it was stored before being opened or moved).
Moreover, such alcohols could be distillated (this process would require fuel) to procude spirits, which would be stronger.
this seems to be a recurring theme of lateThis is the terrible suggestions thread.Booze should have to ferment. You should have to make a non-alcoholic intermediate product (variable depending on the sugar or starch source) and store it in a fixed location for a year or more before it becomes a drinkable alcoholic beverage. (with quality rating dependent on how long it was stored before being opened or moved).
Moreover, such alcohols could be distillated (this process would require fuel) to procude spirits, which would be stronger.
this seems to be a recurring theme of lateThis is the terrible suggestions thread.Booze should have to ferment. You should have to make a non-alcoholic intermediate product (variable depending on the sugar or starch source) and store it in a fixed location for a year or more before it becomes a drinkable alcoholic beverage. (with quality rating dependent on how long it was stored before being opened or moved).
Moreover, such alcohols could be distillated (this process would require fuel) to procude spirits, which would be stronger.
Each night, dwarves turn into goblins and goblins turn to dwarves. They switch back in the daytime50% of elves turn into trees at night.
Likewise 50% of trees turn into elvesEach night, dwarves turn into goblins and goblins turn to dwarves. They switch back in the daytime50% of elves turn into trees at night.
Likewise 50% of trees turn into elvesThat's the worst idea yet, I don't think the game could handle that many elves, it'd probably crash it's self to save it's self from the elves.
Elf corpses are now the exception to the "stressed from seeing a dead body" rule. Dwarfs will in fact get a positive thought from seeing a dead elf body.
We could, of course, have a sliding scale for the reaction the corpses of different civilized species elicit in dwarfs:FTFY
-Dwarf = negative thought
-Human = negative thought
-Kobold = very negative thought
-Elf = very negative thought
-Goblin = negative thought
FTFYWe could, of course, have a sliding scale for the reaction the corpses of different civilized species elicit in dwarfs:FTFY
-Dwarf = very positive thought
-Human = positive thought
-Kobold = very negative thought
-Elf = very negative thought
-Goblin = negative thought
FTFYFTFYWe could, of course, have a sliding scale for the reaction the corpses of different civilized species elicit in dwarfs:FTFY
-Dwarf = nearest living noble issues a demand
-Human = no change
-Kobold = triggers a fell mood
-Elf = throws a party
-Goblin = throws a tantrum
+1FTFYFTFYWe could, of course, have a sliding scale for the reaction the corpses of different civilized species elicit in dwarfs:FTFY
-Dwarf = nearest living noble issues a demand
-Human = no change
-Kobold = triggers a fell mood
-Elf = throws a party
-Goblin = throws a tantrum
Much suggestion, very terrible: getting wood must first require felling the tree, then sawing the trunk and branches, then splitting the wood, followed by a period of drying, shorter or longer depending on climate, wood stack location, tree species, etc. Otherwise item quality and durability is negatively impacted and firewood emits magma most and becomes less efficient.FTFY
FTFYMuch suggestion, very terrible: getting wood must first require felling the tree, then sawing the trunk and branches, then splitting the wood, followed by a period of drying, shorter or longer depending on climate, wood stack location, tree species, etc. Otherwise item quality and durability is negatively impacted and firewood emits magma mist and becomes less efficient.FTFY
Add explosive diarrhea as a syndrome effect. It causes dwarves to occasionally generate massive amounts of miasma and magma mist. If it's above 100 strength it causes the dwarf to explode when it ends.The parts if the exploded dwarves are stuck to the walls, floor and ceilings no via blood. If I cleaned within a day, they will be stuck there forever
no !!FUN!!
Add explosive diarrhea as a syndrome effect. It causes dwarves to occasionally generate massive amounts of miasma and magma mist. If it's above 100 strength it causes the dwarf to explode when it ends.The parts if the exploded dwarves are stuck to the walls, floor and ceilings no via blood. If I cleaned within a day, they will be stuck there forever
Some insane dwarves will begin to hallucinate, attacking things that don’t existWhat the hell part of this is a bad idea? I'd rather them punch down imaginary workshops than my real ones.
Add the opposite of plants.FTFY
What would the opposite of plants even be?Add the opposite of plants.FTFY
Pants.What would the opposite of plants even be?Add the opposite of plants.FTFY
Pants.What would the opposite of plants even be?Add the opposite of plants.FTFY
Random meteors will fall on the surface each month, each one with minerals not found anywhere on the planet, as such they cannot be mined
Sometimes the meteorites will spawn alien creatures that will eat rocks, minerals, and gemsRandom meteors will fall on the surface each month, each one with minerals not found anywhere on the planet, as such they cannot be mined
the impact will cause cave ins deep underground
Dwarves are now a hive-mind. All dwarves in a civ have the same skills, personality, thoughts, etc.
If one goes insane, they all go insane.
Yes they already have a colony, I'm suprised they aren't a hivemind.Dwarves are now a hive-mind. All dwarves in a civ have the same skills, personality, thoughts, etc.
If one goes insane, they all go insane.
It could actually be a good way to manage creatures such as antmen and beemen.
New biome type: infernal. Essentially a desert, but it features trees made of charcoal with leaves made of flame, and it occasionally rains magma mist.These spawn near demon towers/entrances to Hell
FTFYNew biome type: infernal. Essentially a desert, but it features trees made of charcoal with leaves made of flame, and it occasionally rains magma mist.These spawn EVERYWHERE.
Evil surrounding biomes will now will possess all your furniture and items that are left the ground in your fortress, poltergeist style.
Add the opposite of pants.
Would the player have to play the card gsmes with the Minecraft and win to get the minecart to continue forward?Add the opposite of pants.
But we already have thongs.
stupid sexy olith
Card gameson minecartswith procedurally generated rules that are always needlessly complex and easily exploitable.
Would the player have to play the card gsmes with the Minecraft and win to get the minecart to continue forward?No, but eventually the game's ban list becomes more complicated than the rules. At that point you stop using it to settle disputes and go back to shanking people. Or switch to Magic, whatever works.
Add the opposite of pants.
But we already have thongs.
stupid sexy olith.
Add the opposite of pants.
But we already have thongs.
stupid sexy olith.
what about sleepwear? Oh! Specific articles of clothing for different jobs. aprons, gloves, boots, slickers for the rain, hard hats, all of which have to be crafted individually and are specific to each job type.
NoblesAll dwarves will get unhappy thoughts from sleeping without proper sleepware, and will be "mortified" if their nightware does not match their gender; male dwarves must have pajamas, and female dwarves must have nightdresses.
- If they arrived because of the elves, they will leave when the elves are not longer upset with the dwarfs.aka dead
Simplify the game as much as possible.Just throw in some ultra-low poly 3D or pixelshit graphics and you've pretty much got a bog standard modern indie city builder game.
1: Eliminate world-gen and embark selection, having a single, pre-generated 100 tiles by 100 tiles 1 z-level square where all embarks automatically start.
2: Eliminate emotions in dwarves. They are no longer made happy, focused, unhappy, or unfocused by anything.
3: Eliminate physical traits in dwarves. They all look exactly the same, described only as "A short creature fond of drink and industry". Also, eliminate names, dwarves cannot be distinguished from each other by the player.
4: Eliminate skills and labor selection. All dwarves will do all tasks, at exactly the same skill level.
5: Eliminate creatures other than dwarves entirely, both civ-forming creatures and animals.
6: Eliminate plants other than plump helmets, now renamed to "mushroom"
7: Eliminate almost all items, leaving only the following items existing in the game: a generic "ore", a generic "metal bar", beds (crafted from this generic metal), generic "Armor" (again, crafted from "metal"), generic "Weapon" (ditto), "Mushroom", and "Mushroom Wine".
8: As a result of this generalization: mining rock no longer drops stones. Instead, it has a 1 in 20 chance of producing a "ore".
9: All crafting tasks (Ore to metal, metal to beds, armor, and weapon, and mushroom to mushroom wine), are performed at the same generic "workshop", that requires nothing to build.
10: Rework farming. A dwarf that randomly decides to do farming will go to the nearest dug out tile, and declare it a "farm". "farms" can be placed on raw stone, and allow any dwarf to work there for a short period of time to produce a "Mushroom" instantly.
11: Rework combat: When two dwarves fight, the winner is determined by a random roll: 50/50 if they have the same gear, 60/40 if one dwarf has a piece of gear (Weapon or Armor) that the other doesn't, and 80/20 if one side has both types of gear and the other has neither. The losing dwarf is now "unconscious", and will be automatically brought to a bed and given 1 mushroom and 1 mushroom wine, which will instantly revive them.
12: Rework raids/immigrant waves. Rather than immigrant waves, some number of dwarves will attack your fort. If all of your dwarves are knocked unconscious, you lose. If all of the enemy dwarves are knocked unconscious, they will be tended to by your dwarves automatically, and when revived will join your fort.
13: Rework starving/dehydration. If a dwarf doesn't eat or drink for long enough, they are knocked unconscious, and will be revived. Unconscious dwarves will never die, for any reason.
What do you think? Terrible enough?
To add to it, DF is now a "free-to-play" mobile game. So not only is the game absurdly and disappointingly simplified, you also need to pay $100 to bay12 for each task you perform (including just starting up the game). The only thing free about it is the download.
Wanna build up enough speed to clip through the wall into a parallel universe? 12 hours (and half an A-press).To add to it, DF is now a "free-to-play" mobile game. So not only is the game absurdly and disappointingly simplified, you also need to pay $100 to bay12 for each task you perform (including just starting up the game). The only thing free about it is the download.
Also, every task literally takes 12 real-time hours:
Wanna chop a tree? 12 hours.
Mine a tile? 12 hours.
Harvest a single mushroom? 12 hours.
Don't wanna wait? Better buy some MTX ArmokCoins. 1000 for 10 bucks. You can only buy a minimum of 1000.
And it costs 1000 ArmokCoins to skip 1 hour of the wait timer. Thats on top of the 10k ArmokCoins it costs to start the actual task.
*vore*
Here's a good one: All civ-forming creatures, when seeking out food, consider live non-civ forming creatures, regardless of size, a viable meal, and will eat them whole and alive if they are closer than any other non-preferred food. Approx 20% of dwarves now have a food preference for "live animal" and will eat them preferentially if available (Other civs have different values, determined by the tag [PREFERS_EAT_LIVE_ANIMALS:X], where X is the percent of the population that prefers eating live animals over other options. Civ-forming creatures eating live animals, however, is hard-coded and cannot be altered by RAW modding. for reference: 10% of humans prefer live animals, and 40% of elves prefer live animals. Due to a quirk with elves eating sapients, however, they also consider civ-forming creatures to be valid for purposes of eating live). Civ-forming creatures eating animals do not respect whether or not the animal is a pet, trained, or even hostile, even if the animal is their own pet. However, they will still be angered by it's death. Animals, even if hostile, will not struggle when chosen for consumption by a civ-forming creature.New reason for elf invasions: a civ-wide case of the munchies.
Every time a strange mood is triggered, there is a 1% chance that all dwarves in the fort, including those who have already had a mood. will get a mood, rather than just one dwarf.This sounds like a good suggestion though
Hmm. Alright, here's an even worse suggestion: Dwarven moods are communicated solely through emoji. EG: Urist McDwarf was :) after :thinking emoji: :food emoji: :Thumbs up emoji:. He was :'( after :Baby Emoji: :Skull Emoji:He >:( after [walking emoji] [rain emoji]. He :D after [man and woman emoji] [fist emoji]. He :( after [woman emoji] [heart emoji] [knife emoji] [skull emoji].
30 - Five other random royalty free songs start playingSimultaneously.
0 - The game starts spawining clowns in your tavernIf this happens the clowns are initially passive, but if they don't witness a masterful performance soon enough they go ham on your entire fort.
Give generated "clowns" a 10% chance to be actual clowns.Furthermore, mined "cotton candy" has a 10% chance to be unsuitable for crafting, and instead a delicious sweet.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Dwarves have a 50% chance each year of turning into a goblin, and vice versa.Some dwarves/goblins do so regularly
Add edible pants.My favorite flavor.
Add edible pants.
the dye adds flavor.Add edible pants.
All pants are edible if you're hungry enough.
Fun fact, some dyes are/were made from eatables.the dye adds flavor.Add edible pants.
All pants are edible if you're hungry enough.
Fun fact red dye is made from beetles.Fun fact, some dyes are/were made from eatables.the dye adds flavor.Add edible pants.
All pants are edible if you're hungry enough.
And purple dye is made from snailsFun fact red dye is made from beetles.Fun fact, some dyes are/were made from eatables.the dye adds flavor.Add edible pants.
All pants are edible if you're hungry enough.
Dwarves should construct strange, pyramidal structures out of a new material: "Quote Blocks", produced spontaneously when a dwarf has some tiny fact to add to an ongoing discussion. (This is a joke, and not meant to seriously criticize anyone, overly serious interpretation of jokes may lead to severe soreness of the buttocks. ;))Don’t worry, quote pyramids are cool
and walnut hulls are an outrageously potent pigment that will stain your hands for days and is both colorfast and lightfast when used to die fabric with only minimal preparationAnd purple dye is made from snailsFun fact red dye is made from beetles.Fun fact, some dyes are/were made from eatables.the dye adds flavor.Add edible pants.
All pants are edible if you're hungry enough.
If a dwarf who has become a werewolf needs medical attention, the diagnostician should speculate that it could be lupus.That's if & only if the diagnostician is also at least a Proficient Crutch-Walker.
If a dwarf who has become a werewolf needs medical attention, the diagnostician should speculate that it could be lupus.Urist McHouse: It's never Canis lupus.
Even if you don't have a prison, they still get locked up somewhere.
Medicine is about as effective as medieval medicine was. That is, doctors are only be capable of setting bones, amputating limbs and bloodletting, maybe applying valley herb to wound if you're lucky enough to have some.Dwarven opinions of soap range from "I guess I'll use it sometimes" to "Keep your demon bars away from me!" Additionally, anyone who comes in contact with blood has a chance of catching a horrid brain fever. Your doctors will attempt to treat this with more bloodletting, then treat other victims with their gross, bloody hands while the fresh corpse is carted off by the same haulers who handle your food supply.
Medicine is about as effective as medieval medicine was. That is, doctors are only be capable of setting bones, amputating limbs and bloodletting, maybe applying valley herb to wound if you're lucky enough to have some.
Dwarves can have "Operation" strange moods if a medical skill is their highest and a dwarf needs treatment. Rather than claiming a workshop, they claim a patient. A medical treatment strange mood will fully repair the dwarf, even of otherwise permanent damage. In addition, they will become stronger/faster/more dexterous/etc. than a normal dwarf. Fell "Operations" consist of an unharmed dwarf being claimed as the "patient" of the operation.IMHO something similar to that could be a potentially pretty nice way of starting golem races once they are generalized.
EG:
Urist McBonedoctor is struck by a fey mood!
Urist McBonedoctor has claimed Urst McBrokenleg.
Urist McBonedoctor claims shells, stone, cut gems, bars of metal, raw clear glass, etc.
Urist McBonedoctor has preformed "Urshangbalush" an Artifact bone-stetting procedure!
Dwarves can have "Operation" strange moods if a medical skill is their highest and a dwarf needs treatment. Rather than claiming a workshop, they claim a patient. A medical treatment strange mood will fully repair the dwarf, even of otherwise permanent damage. In addition, they will become stronger/faster/more dexterous/etc. than a normal dwarf. Fell "Operations" consist of an unharmed dwarf being claimed as the "patient" of the operation.This sounds like a good idea, all of it
EG:
Urist McBonedoctor is struck by a fey mood!
Urist McBonedoctor has claimed Urst McBrokenleg.
Urist McBonedoctor claims shells, stone, cut gems, bars of metal, raw clear glass, etc.
Urist McBonedoctor has preformed "Urshangbalush" an Artifact bone-stetting procedure!
Add ridiculously huge yams that take up so much space that they have their own map icon.These yams are host to a "Yam Man" civilization. Yam Men can now be embarked with. Yam men's flesh has the consistency and durability of a yam. Yam Men cannot mine, due to their low strength. Yam Men are automatically at war with everyone, owing to their deliciousness when cooked. In order to encourage Yam Men embarks, Dwarves no longer exist.
Add an official goat civ to the game. And before you ask: no, they're not goat men or even intelligent goats. Just regular goats.Urist McMiner: What in blazes is that sound?
Add an official goose civ to the game. And before you ask: no, they're not goose men or even intelligent geese. Just regular geese.FTFY
they will however invade your fortress and make a general nuisance of themselves. and they can't be attacked, trapped, or butchered.Add an official goose civ to the game. And before you ask: no, they're not goose men or even intelligent geese. Just regular geese.FTFY
What if I were to mod goat cigs and goose cigs to the game?i'd say go for it
According to the wiki, the goblin word for goose is "us". So I guess that confirms that goblins are just disguised geese.
I don't think this is possible, but god would I love it if you got a notification about a caravan arriving and the camera just snaps to 4 geese wandering around the corner of your map. No trade goods, just hanging out.better yet, there is a pile of trade goods but the geese chase off anyone who approaches leading to endless "Urist McHauler cancels Store Item In Stockpile: Interrupted by *HONK*" spam
Hypnotic symbols in the game in order to trigger strange moods, tantrums, melancholy, etc in the player when a dwarf is suffering from one.Yes, but we would need to find a symbol that would work for every human for each mood, also probably skip fell moods, to avoid crimes
Yes, but we would need to find a symbol that would work for every human for each mood, also probably skip fell moods, to avoid crimes(https://i.imgur.com/4YmxuVh.jpg)
An option to self harm and give yourself wounds and scars. Alongside that you could even cut off your own limbs but it would require certain weapons. For example if you have a knife you could cut off your fingers, toes, ears, etc. Meanwhile for bigger body parts like arms and legs you would need something like a long sword or axe.Not terrible. Would be great if you want to turn people into vampires in adventure mode.
Add tacos which cause dwarves to temporarily open a portal through which forgotten beasts pour out of when eaten.FTFY based on personal experience.
Source: ate at chipotle once. Once.Given all the shit that's gone wrong with their food, I don't get how their still open.
I see what you gone and done there.Source: ate at chipotle once. Once.Given all the shit that's gone wrong with their food, I don't get how their still open.
US food regulations theoretically allow you to sell minemeat that's 50% sawdust as mincemeat. So, well...Source: ate at chipotle once. Once.Given all the shit that's gone wrong with their food, I don't get how their still open.
Not to mention that bit where an "acceptable amount of insect parts" in certain foods happens to be a value above 0%. At least we get some extra protein out of it.US food regulations theoretically allow you to sell minemeat that's 50% sawdust as mincemeat. So, well...Source: ate at chipotle once. Once.Given all the shit that's gone wrong with their food, I don't get how their still open.
Dwarves are lactose intolerant. Consuming milk or cheese will cause them togenerate miasmaexplode. Consuming any imported food has a 25% chance of doing the same. Additionally, dwarven digestion gets more sensitive with age, adding one additional random food every year after reaching adulthood.
Wait what?US food regulations theoretically allow you to sell minemeat that's 50% sawdust as mincemeat. So, well...Source: ate at chipotle once. Once.Given all the shit that's gone wrong with their food, I don't get how their still open.
Every time your dwarf has to craft something, there is a chance of them completely messing it up and harming themselves in the process. Depending on how skilled they are at something, this chance will obviously be decreased for that specific action.Additionally, there's a chance for a given workshop to be "cursed", especially if a dwarf dies near there; these workshops will cause significantly more, and worse, injuries than normal. Animals will have a similar state, defined in-game as having acquired "a taste for dwarven blood".
Dwarf trying to craft wood furniture? They accidentally sawed their fingers off.
Dwarf trying to craft armor? They accidentally burned themselves from the sparks of smashing red hot stuff on an anvil.
Dwarf trying to heal another sick or injured Dwarf? They mixed up their medicine with magma and injected it into the injured Dwarf.
Dwarf trying to train a goose? They were mauled to death.
Dwarf trying to cook a simple biscuit? They screwed up the recipe and now everyone has parasites from eating raw Elk Bird.
Dwarf trying to make soap? Well... (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjxCxg6LuVg)
Apple Partnership: DF is now only available on IOS mobile devices. The control scheme and graphics are completely unchanged.Framerate tanks once your fort reaches a certain age, regardless of the worldgen parameters. A tiny fort in a pocket sized world with only about 35 dorfs? After two in game years, it runs like a large world with a large fort with ten million items and 200 dwarves, an oldstyle magma pumpstack, and all while being besieged by a couple hundred invaders.
You can buy an Apple DF-playing stand for a better experience (costs 9999$)Apple Partnership: DF is now only available on IOS mobile devices. The control scheme and graphics are completely unchanged.Framerate tanks once your fort reaches a certain age, regardless of the worldgen parameters. A tiny fort in a pocket sized world with only about 35 dorfs? After two in game years, it runs like a large world with a large fort with ten million items and 200 dwarves, an oldstyle magma pumpstack, and all while being besieged by a couple hundred invaders.
Also you need a proprietary bluetooth keyboard. The battery lasts ten minutes and the charging cord is too short to do anything with.
You can buy an Apple DF-playing stand for a better experience (costs 9999$)Apple Partnership: DF is now only available on IOS mobile devices. The control scheme and graphics are completely unchanged.Framerate tanks once your fort reaches a certain age, regardless of the worldgen parameters. A tiny fort in a pocket sized world with only about 35 dorfs? After two in game years, it runs like a large world with a large fort with ten million items and 200 dwarves, an oldstyle magma pumpstack, and all while being besieged by a couple hundred invaders.
Also you need a proprietary bluetooth keyboard. The battery lasts ten minutes and the charging cord is too short to do anything with.
Dwarves can now deep fry themselves.isn't that just magmadiving?
No, that burns them too far to even consider it deep frying.Dwarves can now deep fry themselves.isn't that just magmadiving?
and you can't transfer your savesYou can buy an Apple DF-playing stand for a better experience (costs 9999$)Apple Partnership: DF is now only available on IOS mobile devices. The control scheme and graphics are completely unchanged.Framerate tanks once your fort reaches a certain age, regardless of the worldgen parameters. A tiny fort in a pocket sized world with only about 35 dorfs? After two in game years, it runs like a large world with a large fort with ten million items and 200 dwarves, an oldstyle magma pumpstack, and all while being besieged by a couple hundred invaders.
Also you need a proprietary bluetooth keyboard. The battery lasts ten minutes and the charging cord is too short to do anything with.
And every two years, there's an update of the mobile device, and you will have to rebuy the application again.
The opposite of the opposite of the opposite of the opposite of the opposite of the äÄäÄäÄäÄäÄä of food.
What is Dug too deep?it was an old event where breaching hell triggered an automatic game over screen
What is Dug too deep?A fail-state from the 0.23 version of DF where your fortress just dies outright with a random chance the more "cotton candy" you mine
soylentThe opposite of the opposite of the opposite of the opposite of the opposite of the äÄäÄäÄäÄäÄä of food.
soylent green?
that's about what i figuredsoylentThe opposite of the opposite of the opposite of the opposite of the opposite of the äÄäÄäÄäÄäÄä of food.
soylent green?COMIC SAAAAAANSpurple
Elfism is now contagious; elf spit, blood, and tears carry a transformative syndrome that makes you an elf.I remember that at some point someone made a mod that made everything an elf touched turn into an elf.
Elfism is now contagious; elf spit, blood, and tears carry a transformative syndrome that makes you an elf.I remember that at some point someone made a mod that made everything an elf touched turn into an elf.
US food regulations theoretically allow you to sell minemeat that's 50% sawdust as mincemeat. So, well...Minemeat? Is that when the miners uncover the remains of an extinct creature - almost, but not quite, fossilized so that in spite of it being mostly rock, some nutritional value remains? Dwarfiest source of meat ever!
You've struck sirloin! Praise the miners!US food regulations theoretically allow you to sell minemeat that's 50% sawdust as mincemeat. So, well...Minemeat? Is that when the miners uncover the remains of an extinct creature - almost, but not quite, fossilized so that in spite of it being mostly rock, some nutritional value remains? Dwarfiest source of meat ever!
You've struck sirloin! Praise the miners!US food regulations theoretically allow you to sell minemeat that's 50% sawdust as mincemeat. So, well...Minemeat? Is that when the miners uncover the remains of an extinct creature - almost, but not quite, fossilized so that in spite of it being mostly rock, some nutritional value remains? Dwarfiest source of meat ever!
You've struck sirloin! Praise the miners!US food regulations theoretically allow you to sell minemeat that's 50% sawdust as mincemeat. So, well...Minemeat? Is that when the miners uncover the remains of an extinct creature - almost, but not quite, fossilized so that in spite of it being mostly rock, some nutritional value remains? Dwarfiest source of meat ever!
(https://gamepedia.cursecdn.com/zelda_gamepedia_en/c/c3/HWL_Rock_Sirloin_Artwork.png?version=3def70fdb7a89c22e4ae37ce7751b096)
I'm so glad someone got that reference.You've struck sirloin! Praise the miners!US food regulations theoretically allow you to sell minemeat that's 50% sawdust as mincemeat. So, well...Minemeat? Is that when the miners uncover the remains of an extinct creature - almost, but not quite, fossilized so that in spite of it being mostly rock, some nutritional value remains? Dwarfiest source of meat ever!
(https://gamepedia.cursecdn.com/zelda_gamepedia_en/c/c3/HWL_Rock_Sirloin_Artwork.png?version=3def70fdb7a89c22e4ae37ce7751b096)
Rebuild DF in Unity. Only one supercomputer in the world would be able to play it, and only at ~3 FPS.and even then it would need to be shut down after 15-30 minutes in order to stop it from catching fire.
I think it'd be kinda cool if water sources would be more finite, and more essential to civilizations. For example, a fireplace in houses to melt the water during winter, and/or an option to eat ice, but with a risk of hypothermia if done repeatedly.Bad suggestions only. Get out.
Also, if you dam a river in your embark, it should affect the settlements downstream, perhaps escalating into a war/peasant mobs, also its water should be able to be tainted/poisoned as a way of weakening the enemy settlement. Or maybe somebody/something accidentally dies and rots in the/next to the water in the middle of nowhere, which could cause minor problems to you, if the creature wasn't very big. This could be avoided with drinking booze/boiling the water before usage.
But water should also be able to be transported with a reasonable price, just like booze and extracts. Perhaps the price should go up, depending on the climate, and purity of water. Most expensive type should be distilled water, which could be usable by scholars, or in hospitals.
Settlements in scorching climates should be abandoned sometimes for lack of water, or they could attack/rob merchant caravans/other settlements for water, perhaps even securing and defending a location with a water source.
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=174706.0I think it'd be kinda cool if water sources would be more finite, and more essential to civilizations. For example, a fireplace in houses to melt the water during winter, and/or an option to eat ice, but with a risk of hypothermia if done repeatedly.Bad suggestions only. Get out.
Also, if you dam a river in your embark, it should affect the settlements downstream, perhaps escalating into a war/peasant mobs, also its water should be able to be tainted/poisoned as a way of weakening the enemy settlement. Or maybe somebody/something accidentally dies and rots in the/next to the water in the middle of nowhere, which could cause minor problems to you, if the creature wasn't very big. This could be avoided with drinking booze/boiling the water before usage.
But water should also be able to be transported with a reasonable price, just like booze and extracts. Perhaps the price should go up, depending on the climate, and purity of water. Most expensive type should be distilled water, which could be usable by scholars, or in hospitals.
Settlements in scorching climates should be abandoned sometimes for lack of water, or they could attack/rob merchant caravans/other settlements for water, perhaps even securing and defending a location with a water source.
S-Sorry! Should I make my own thread, or post there?http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=174706.0I think it'd be kinda cool if water sources would be more finite, and more essential to civilizations. For example, a fireplace in houses to melt the water during winter, and/or an option to eat ice, but with a risk of hypothermia if done repeatedly.Bad suggestions only. Get out.
Also, if you dam a river in your embark, it should affect the settlements downstream, perhaps escalating into a war/peasant mobs, also its water should be able to be tainted/poisoned as a way of weakening the enemy settlement. Or maybe somebody/something accidentally dies and rots in the/next to the water in the middle of nowhere, which could cause minor problems to you, if the creature wasn't very big. This could be avoided with drinking booze/boiling the water before usage.
But water should also be able to be transported with a reasonable price, just like booze and extracts. Perhaps the price should go up, depending on the climate, and purity of water. Most expensive type should be distilled water, which could be usable by scholars, or in hospitals.
Settlements in scorching climates should be abandoned sometimes for lack of water, or they could attack/rob merchant caravans/other settlements for water, perhaps even securing and defending a location with a water source.
Post there. I made it for this purposeS-Sorry! Should I make my own thread, or post there?http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=174706.0I think it'd be kinda cool if water sources would be more finite, and more essential to civilizations. For example, a fireplace in houses to melt the water during winter, and/or an option to eat ice, but with a risk of hypothermia if done repeatedly.Bad suggestions only. Get out.
Also, if you dam a river in your embark, it should affect the settlements downstream, perhaps escalating into a war/peasant mobs, also its water should be able to be tainted/poisoned as a way of weakening the enemy settlement. Or maybe somebody/something accidentally dies and rots in the/next to the water in the middle of nowhere, which could cause minor problems to you, if the creature wasn't very big. This could be avoided with drinking booze/boiling the water before usage.
But water should also be able to be transported with a reasonable price, just like booze and extracts. Perhaps the price should go up, depending on the climate, and purity of water. Most expensive type should be distilled water, which could be usable by scholars, or in hospitals.
Settlements in scorching climates should be abandoned sometimes for lack of water, or they could attack/rob merchant caravans/other settlements for water, perhaps even securing and defending a location with a water source.
Good to know. I will!Post there. I made it for this purposeS-Sorry! Should I make my own thread, or post there?http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=174706.0I think it'd be kinda cool if water sources would be more finite, and more essential to civilizations. For example, a fireplace in houses to melt the water during winter, and/or an option to eat ice, but with a risk of hypothermia if done repeatedly.Bad suggestions only. Get out.
Also, if you dam a river in your embark, it should affect the settlements downstream, perhaps escalating into a war/peasant mobs, also its water should be able to be tainted/poisoned as a way of weakening the enemy settlement. Or maybe somebody/something accidentally dies and rots in the/next to the water in the middle of nowhere, which could cause minor problems to you, if the creature wasn't very big. This could be avoided with drinking booze/boiling the water before usage.
But water should also be able to be transported with a reasonable price, just like booze and extracts. Perhaps the price should go up, depending on the climate, and purity of water. Most expensive type should be distilled water, which could be usable by scholars, or in hospitals.
Settlements in scorching climates should be abandoned sometimes for lack of water, or they could attack/rob merchant caravans/other settlements for water, perhaps even securing and defending a location with a water source.
Is it just me or does this thread have a noticeable surplus of "X causes dwarves to explode" suggestions?Mentioning dwarves exploding now causes dwarves to explode.
“Look daddy, teacher says, every time a bell rings a dwarf explodes!”Ringing bells now causes dwarves to explode.
Giving birth causes female dwarfs to explode. Basically a dwarf woman who goes into labour just immediately blows up and a newborn baby dwarf appears in the space where she used to be.Reminds me of Alien, question, does the baby dwarf feed on its mother’s blood in the absence of milk?
Giving birth causes female dwarfs to explode. Basically a dwarf woman who goes into labour just immediately blows up and a newborn baby dwarf appears in the space where she used to be.Reminds me of Alien, question, does the baby dwarf feed on its mother’s blood in the absence of milk?
Walking now causes dwarves to explode.Due to dwarves becoming living bombshell, goblins are now the playable characters is Goblin Fortress. Goblins will place dwarves in the towns where they wish to invade, when the dwarves explode, the goblins take over
Dwarves now cause goblins to explode.Walking now causes dwarves to explode.Due to dwarves becoming living bombshell, goblins are now the playable characters is Goblin Fortress. Goblins will place dwarves in the towns where they wish to invade, when the dwarves explode, the goblins take over
Every time anyone even a vermin dies anywhere on the map the unskippable fatal blow animation is playedIt's played three times, getting progressively slower, for dramatic effect.
Every second, each dwarf has a 2% chance to explode. To balance this out, each empty tile on the map has a 1% chance to spontaneously generate a dwarf each second.Behold: Lag Fortress
Vermin should appear in killlists.Uh, spacing?
Therearenospacesatallinthegame.Everythingisunspacedsoyouhavetopayverycloseattentiontowhatthewordsaresayingandwhatistheendandbeginningofnewwords.AtleastpunctuationsarestillathingthoughtheycanberemovedtomakethissuggestionevenmoreterribleVermin should appear in killlists.Uh, spacing?
Elves cause dwarves to explode.
Also, dwarves cause elves to explode.
Death is an actual character that can be talked to, harmed, killed etc. It's immune to heat and traps, but is considered a gnome and can therefore be harmed with gnomeblight.What happens when you kill Death? Is it like the Sims, where dead bodies remain forever and never decompose?
When you kill it, a random gnome is chosen to be the new Death.Death is an actual character that can be talked to, harmed, killed etc. It's immune to heat and traps, but is considered a gnome and can therefore be harmed with gnomeblight.What happens when you kill Death? Is it like the Sims, where dead bodies remain forever and never decompose?
Dwarves are mortally terrified of elves, to the point of being unable to fight them or even trade with them. The elves are personally offended by this.What with dwarves and elves able to explode, I am not surprised by this
My manager sometimes leaves meetings, or doesn't show up to them. This should be fixed by escalating all meetings to "no quarter" immediately.Would this not result in deaths?
Only if you do it right.My manager sometimes leaves meetings, or doesn't show up to them. This should be fixed by escalating all meetings to "no quarter" immediately.Would this not result in deaths?
My manager sometimes leaves meetings, or doesn't show up to them. This should be fixed by escalating all meetings to "no quarter" immediately.Would this not result in deaths?
What if we allow dwarves to build nuclear bombs from mechanisms, pitchblende, and drawbridges?
It'd be like skynet but with magma.What if we allow dwarves to build nuclear bombs from mechanisms, pitchblende, and drawbridges?
Why stop there? Give them the ability to modify the code itself. Destruction everywhere.
QuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteSpoiler (click to show/hide)
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Cease.no
and desistno
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Stop expanding the quote pyramid I made as a joke. It was not supposed to get E X P A N D E D .
Edit: :((https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/e/e9/Nelson_Ha-Ha.jpg)
Never mind this post.(https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/e/e9/Nelson_Ha-Ha.jpg)
Allow dwarves to see into our world so they can appreciate just how bad their world is.
"What the clown do you mean, your world doesn't have reanimating biomes? And nobody's ever ordered you to build a pumpstack for magma??"
Dwarves will stress-eat in an attempt to regulate their emotions. On the one hand, it's another way for them to self-manage negative thoughts and avoid full-on tantrums. On the other, if Urist McEntomophobe keeps chowing through half the larder every time they see a cockroach, you may soon havebuggerbigger problems.
In order to avoid frustration, stresseating dwarves won't eat from your food stores. Instead, they will grab the nearest creature and devour it.If the stresseating dwarves eat enough dwarves they turn into elves.
In order to avoid frustration, stresseating dwarves won't eat from your food stores. Instead, they will grab the nearest creature and devour it.If the stresseating dwarves eat enough dwarves they turn into elves.
Each of the bits left after the explosion then turn into eggs, each hatching into a different birdIn order to avoid frustration, stresseating dwarves won't eat from your food stores. Instead, they will grab the nearest creature and devour it.If the stresseating dwarves eat enough dwarves they turn into elves.
And subsequently explode.
Said birds are procedurally-generated, so you'll never get the same one twice.Each of the bits left after the explosion then turn into eggs, each hatching into a different birdIn order to avoid frustration, stresseating dwarves won't eat from your food stores. Instead, they will grab the nearest creature and devour it.If the stresseating dwarves eat enough dwarves they turn into elves.
And subsequently explode.
The birds are highly aggressive or very passive, this is unknown until you see their interactions with other creatures, as the birds never attack each other or other birdsSaid birds are procedurally-generated, so you'll never get the same one twice.Each of the bits left after the explosion then turn into eggs, each hatching into a different birdIn order to avoid frustration, stresseating dwarves won't eat from your food stores. Instead, they will grab the nearest creature and devour it.If the stresseating dwarves eat enough dwarves they turn into elves.
And subsequently explode.
Dwarves killed by these birds come back as thralls, which will use all your building materials to make endless fields of giant goddam pyramids.The birds are highly aggressive or very passive, this is unknown until you see their interactions with other creatures, as the birds never attack each other or other birdsSaid birds are procedurally-generated, so you'll never get the same one twice.Each of the bits left after the explosion then turn into eggs, each hatching into a different birdIn order to avoid frustration, stresseating dwarves won't eat from your food stores. Instead, they will grab the nearest creature and devour it.If the stresseating dwarves eat enough dwarves they turn into elves.
And subsequently explode.
These pyramids also have a small chance to explode.Dwarves killed by these birds come back as thralls, which will use all your building materials to make endless fields of giant goddam pyramids.The birds are highly aggressive or very passive, this is unknown until you see their interactions with other creatures, as the birds never attack each other or other birdsSaid birds are procedurally-generated, so you'll never get the same one twice.Each of the bits left after the explosion then turn into eggs, each hatching into a different birdIn order to avoid frustration, stresseating dwarves won't eat from your food stores. Instead, they will grab the nearest creature and devour it.If the stresseating dwarves eat enough dwarves they turn into elves.
And subsequently explode.
Into more eggs that hatch into more birds.These pyramids also have a small chance to explode.Dwarves killed by these birds come back as thralls, which will use all your building materials to make endless fields of giant goddam pyramids.The birds are highly aggressive or very passive, this is unknown until you see their interactions with other creatures, as the birds never attack each other or other birdsSaid birds are procedurally-generated, so you'll never get the same one twice.Each of the bits left after the explosion then turn into eggs, each hatching into a different birdIn order to avoid frustration, stresseating dwarves won't eat from your food stores. Instead, they will grab the nearest creature and devour it.If the stresseating dwarves eat enough dwarves they turn into elves.
And subsequently explode.
Persnid eggs will hatch birds with the ability to turn other creatures into random birds upon touchInto more eggs that hatch into more birds.These pyramids also have a small chance to explode.Dwarves killed by these birds come back as thralls, which will use all your building materials to make endless fields of giant goddam pyramids.The birds are highly aggressive or very passive, this is unknown until you see their interactions with other creatures, as the birds never attack each other or other birdsSaid birds are procedurally-generated, so you'll never get the same one twice.Each of the bits left after the explosion then turn into eggs, each hatching into a different birdIn order to avoid frustration, stresseating dwarves won't eat from your food stores. Instead, they will grab the nearest creature and devour it.If the stresseating dwarves eat enough dwarves they turn into elves.
And subsequently explode.
And these birds will eventually all explode.Persnid eggs will hatch birds with the ability to turn other creatures into random birds upon touchInto more eggs that hatch into more birds.These pyramids also have a small chance to explode.Dwarves killed by these birds come back as thralls, which will use all your building materials to make endless fields of giant goddam pyramids.The birds are highly aggressive or very passive, this is unknown until you see their interactions with other creatures, as the birds never attack each other or other birdsSaid birds are procedurally-generated, so you'll never get the same one twice.Each of the bits left after the explosion then turn into eggs, each hatching into a different birdIn order to avoid frustration, stresseating dwarves won't eat from your food stores. Instead, they will grab the nearest creature and devour it.If the stresseating dwarves eat enough dwarves they turn into elves.
And subsequently explode.
and each time a bird explodes it summons an exponentially increasing number of eggsAnd these birds will eventually all explode.Persnid eggs will hatch birds with the ability to turn other creatures into random birds upon touchInto more eggs that hatch into more birds.These pyramids also have a small chance to explode.Dwarves killed by these birds come back as thralls, which will use all your building materials to make endless fields of giant goddam pyramids.The birds are highly aggressive or very passive, this is unknown until you see their interactions with other creatures, as the birds never attack each other or other birdsSaid birds are procedurally-generated, so you'll never get the same one twice.Each of the bits left after the explosion then turn into eggs, each hatching into a different birdIn order to avoid frustration, stresseating dwarves won't eat from your food stores. Instead, they will grab the nearest creature and devour it.If the stresseating dwarves eat enough dwarves they turn into elves.
And subsequently explode.
To avoid FPS death, these eggs will each hatch into random statuesand each time a bird explodes it summons an exponentially increasing number of eggsAnd these birds will eventually all explode.Persnid eggs will hatch birds with the ability to turn other creatures into random birds upon touchInto more eggs that hatch into more birds.These pyramids also have a small chance to explode.Dwarves killed by these birds come back as thralls, which will use all your building materials to make endless fields of giant goddam pyramids.The birds are highly aggressive or very passive, this is unknown until you see their interactions with other creatures, as the birds never attack each other or other birdsSaid birds are procedurally-generated, so you'll never get the same one twice.Each of the bits left after the explosion then turn into eggs, each hatching into a different birdIn order to avoid frustration, stresseating dwarves won't eat from your food stores. Instead, they will grab the nearest creature and devour it.If the stresseating dwarves eat enough dwarves they turn into elves.
And subsequently explode.
The statues automatically arrange themselves into pyramids.To avoid FPS death, these eggs will each hatch into random statuesand each time a bird explodes it summons an exponentially increasing number of eggsAnd these birds will eventually all explode.Persnid eggs will hatch birds with the ability to turn other creatures into random birds upon touchInto more eggs that hatch into more birds.These pyramids also have a small chance to explode.Dwarves killed by these birds come back as thralls, which will use all your building materials to make endless fields of giant goddam pyramids.The birds are highly aggressive or very passive, this is unknown until you see their interactions with other creatures, as the birds never attack each other or other birdsSaid birds are procedurally-generated, so you'll never get the same one twice.Each of the bits left after the explosion then turn into eggs, each hatching into a different birdIn order to avoid frustration, stresseating dwarves won't eat from your food stores. Instead, they will grab the nearest creature and devour it.If the stresseating dwarves eat enough dwarves they turn into elves.
And subsequently explode.
(Okay, I will shorten the pyramid)The statues automatically arrange themselves into pyramids.To avoid FPS death, these eggs will each hatch into random statuesAnd these birds will eventually all explode.and each time a bird explodes it summons an exponentially increasing number of eggs
(btw I think this quote pyramid is big enough now lol, we don't want to crash the forum)
Dwarven Sociopaths and Serial Killers should be added, with a preference for killing the most skilled Dwarves of the Fortress first, and will never target cheesemakers unless their second highest skill is higher than everyone else’s.
Very friendly strange moods:And Megabrasts like it when their prey comes to them without armor or weapons
Dwarves get a bit too friendly and path toward every single creature on the map one by one. They get a good thought for everyone they encounter and hug, while the target gets either a good or bad thought based on their personality. Some wild animals will take this as an attack, and goblins love it when a dwarf just walks into their arrows, arms outspread with a doofy smile on their face.
Add an official Colossus for every other material.Fixed
Armok have mercy on your soul if your fort is visited by a Slade Colossus.
I like that actually, though it should have a mixture of beneficial and detrimental effects, which get better the more skilled the ranter is. A truly masterful ranter can compose a rant which barely causes stress, but instead inspires all who hear it, to make the world a better place!New workshop: guillotine.
BY BEHEADING THE NOBLES
Capital punishment just always struck me as a human (and probably goblin as well) thing. Dwarves and elves having capital punishment just somehow seems OOC to their usual depictions, but I guess it's not like DF sticks to those to the letter either. :PDF dwarves have capital punishment for murder of a fellow civ member, treason, oath breaking, and slavery.
What? Let every sentient race have guillotinesYes guillotines for everyone, there will be so many severed heads rolling around it'll be beautiful!
Dorfs also deliver punishment via hammering, so maybe their guillotine would be...a giant hammer-head? Sounds...messy. Like a Gallagher show.Capital punishment just always struck me as a human (and probably goblin as well) thing. Dwarves and elves having capital punishment just somehow seems OOC to their usual depictions, but I guess it's not like DF sticks to those to the letter either. :PDF dwarves have capital punishment for murder of a fellow civ member, treason, oath breaking, and slavery.
Dorfs also deliver punishment via hammering, so maybe their guillotine would be...a giant hammer-head? Sounds...messy. Like a Gallagher show.I need this to be a thing.
Instead of simply capital punishment, each crime should specify a particular body part to hit with a particular weapon type a particular number of times (with the punishment ending if the body part is severed or destroyed). This could be combined with traps to create a guillotine, or alternative mechanism.
Beheading, for instance, would be EXECUTION:HEAD:AXE:1 (or HAMMER:100 for dwarves)
But you can also make a crime that demands lashes (UPPER_BODY:WHIP:10) or removing the hand (GRASP:SWORD:1).
Or (LOWER_BODY:STANCE_STRIKE:10).
Developmental disorders in intelligent creatures don't sound like a dreadful idea (would lead to some interesting and relatable procgen characters IMO), though letting it screw with the interface probably would be. :PImplement diseases and unleash the P O L I O.
Instead of simply capital punishment, each crime should specify a particular body part to hit with a particular weapon type a particular number of times (with the punishment ending if the body part is severed or destroyed). This could be combined with traps to create a guillotine, or alternative mechanism.Fixed it for you.
Beheading, for instance, would be EXECUTION:HEAD:AXE:1 (or HAMMER:100 for dwarves)
But you can also make a crime that demands lashes (UPPER_BODY:WHIP:10) or removing the hand (GRASP:SWORD:1).
Or (LOWER_BODY:STANCE_STRIKE:666).
If going to the bathroom ever gets added it needs an associated bowl movement skill.Uh oh
Urist has created a masterpiece ☼Turd☼!
If going to the bathroom ever gets added it needs an associated bowl movement skill.
Urist has created a masterpiece ☼Turd☼!
If going to the bathroom ever gets added it needs an associated bowl movement skill.Intentionally induce diarrhea in dwarves to train pooping skill.
Urist has created a masterpiece ☼Turd☼!
Agreed. Everyone go home, it's all downhill from here.If going to the bathroom ever gets added it needs an associated bowl movement skill.
Urist has created a masterpiece ☼Turd☼!
I think you just won this thread. OP can close it now.
If going to the bathroom ever gets added it needs an associated bowl movement skill.
Urist has created a masterpiece ☼Turd☼!
I feel this is a big achievement for me, and I'm glad I posted it.Agreed. Everyone go home, it's all downhill from here.If going to the bathroom ever gets added it needs an associated bowl movement skill.I think you just won this thread. OP can close it now.
Urist has created a masterpiece ☼Turd☼!
I feel this is a big achievement for me, and I'm glad I posted it.If going to the bathroom ever gets added it needs an associated bowl movement skill.I think you just won this thread. OP can close it now.
Urist has created a masterpiece ☼Turd☼!
Agreed. Everyone go home, it's all downhill from here.
>:(I feel this is a big achievement for me, and I'm glad I posted it.If going to the bathroom ever gets added it needs an associated bowl movement skill.I think you just won this thread. OP can close it now.
Urist has created a masterpiece ☼Turd☼!
Agreed. Everyone go home, it's all downhill from here.
tbh this was just shitty
:D
(it's a joke plz no hate)
Every now and again, adventure mode NPCs will spout a randomly-determined quote from "Monty Python & the Holy Grail". Don't pretend this one hasn't been a long time coming.I actually want this
Bandits demand shrubberies to let you pass.Bandits demand you hide behind shrubberies before you pass... Sorry, I just read the earlier posts and had to let this one out.
Dance lines can also be initiated by players in adventure mode. Cue megaprojects of dance lines sprawling across entire continents and composed of dwarves, elves, humans, goblins, kobolds, and animal people alike.This is amazing
Yes. If a siege happens when the Drunk Dance happens, the singers have a chance of joining the line instead of attacking. The more singers in the line, the more likely it is thst future singers will join the lineDo you hear the goblins sing? Singing the songs of drunken dorfs?
One in six plump helmet crop during harvest should spawn a plump helmet man that runs away looking for the fort exit.This would be a nice feature for good regions.
Make it have a 1/100 chance every time it rains for it to rain booze instead of water in normal regions, a 1/150 chance in evil regions, and a 1/30 chance in good regions.
Every other embark is a DLCDLC stands for Dodos Love Cata
Hell yeah, warioware artifact creation.Sounds cool
Add toilets but make them useless becauseFTFYshitting is impossible in this gamethey can't hold it in long enough.
Add toilets but make them useless because shitting is impossible in this game.
So what happens if they sit on the toilet long enough, does the shitAdd toilets but make them useless because shitting is impossible in this game.
You can do it. make a tool called "shit". Add lays_unusual_eggs to dwarves, and they lay "shits". Make a nestbox called "toilet". Tried it already: main problem is that they don't get off the toilet afterwards unless ordered, and will shit in any nest box.
Anything a dwarf says is spelled in creatures near that dwarf.This can spell disaster for your fort if, say, a dwarf needs to spell something with a capital "D" or use an ampersand.
What creature would spawn with Disaster?Anything a dwarf says is spelled in creatures near that dwarf.This can spell disaster for your fort if, say, a dwarf needs to spell something with a capital "D" or use an ampersand.
Dwarves can shoot themselves with a coconut gun.Does it fire in spurts?
Cave Dragon, Fire Imp, Angelshark, Aadvark, Bark Scorpions Man, Common snapping turtle, Creeping Eye, Large Rat.What creature would spawn with Disaster?Anything a dwarf says is spelled in creatures near that dwarf.This can spell disaster for your fort if, say, a dwarf needs to spell something with a capital "D" or use an ampersand.
(I know what you mean but I am also asking what creatures would correspond to the characters)
Creeping eyes are now eusocial and also can kill dwarves by slapping them repeatedly.
Wormy tendrils touch dwarves inappropriately, and they respond with "Ooooooh, nooo!~".Certain dwarves will get a positive thought from witnessing this.
Certain other dwarves will immediately tantrum upon witnessing this.Wormy tendrils touch dwarves inappropriately, and they respond with "Ooooooh, nooo!~".Certain dwarves will get a positive thought from witnessing this.
Certain dwarves will become incredibly upset if the wormy tendrils don't touch them inappropriately, and they will get extremity positive thoughts from being touched inappropriately.Certain other dwarves will immediately tantrum upon witnessing this.Wormy tendrils touch dwarves inappropriately, and they respond with "Ooooooh, nooo!~".Certain dwarves will get a positive thought from witnessing this.
The tentacles will randomly spawn on cavern floorsCertain dwarves will become incredibly upset if the wormy tendrils don't touch them inappropriately, and they will get extremity positive thoughts from being touched inappropriately.Certain other dwarves will immediately tantrum upon witnessing this.Wormy tendrils touch dwarves inappropriately, and they respond with "Ooooooh, nooo!~".Certain dwarves will get a positive thought from witnessing this.
The tentacles will randomly spawn inside dwarves.The tentacles will randomly spawn on cavern floorsCertain dwarves will become incredibly upset if the wormy tendrils don't touch them inappropriately, and they will get extremity positive thoughts from being touched inappropriately.Certain other dwarves will immediately tantrum upon witnessing this.Wormy tendrils touch dwarves inappropriately, and they respond with "Ooooooh, nooo!~".Certain dwarves will get a positive thought from witnessing this.
Wormy tendrils touch dwarves inappropriately, and they respond with "Ooooooh, nooo!~".
Items made with rock salt will degrade when exposed to water.
it is if you're building on a coast. and there's a lot of rock salt. or if you're trying to store beverages in rock salt pots.Items made with rock salt will degrade when exposed to water.
That's not a terrible suggestion however.
Items made with rock salt will degrade when exposed to water."My rock salt castle's melting in the rain!"
Items made with rock salt will degrade when exposed to water.
That's not a terrible suggestion however.
No material is both magma- and water-safe, and several are degraded by both. Additionally, saltwater corrodes steel, and all water corrodes iron.it is if you're building on a coast. and there's a lot of rock salt. or if you're trying to store beverages in rock salt pots.Items made with rock salt will degrade when exposed to water.
That's not a terrible suggestion however.
[edit] actually you're right. lemme fix that all rocks now have a randomized water safe tag, and will deteriorate even if not mined or if built into something. a wall might be able to hold out magma regardless, but should it be exposed to water for an amount of time...
More realistic baby mechanics. Any injury to a baby, however minor, induces enormous stress in its parents. The babies, for their part, not only lack self-preservation instincts, but will instantly gravitate toward any and all sources of danger the moment they hit the ground, crawling across minecart tracks, off cliffs, into lava pools, or through the front lines of an incoming siege.So basically they become human babies. How evil of you.
Dwarves should have to be near magma to sleep and get bad sleep if this requierement is not met.They also sleep-walk.
8)More realistic baby mechanics. Any injury to a baby, however minor, induces enormous stress in its parents. The babies, for their part, not only lack self-preservation instincts, but will instantly gravitate toward any and all sources of danger the moment they hit the ground, crawling across minecart tracks, off cliffs, into lava pools, or through the front lines of an incoming siege.So basically they become human babies. How evil of you.
The elves are putting chemicals in the water that turn the friggin' frogs gay!The dwarves are putting lava in the rivers that's making the friggin' frogs dead!
Any item can be deep fried, not just food.
Any item can be deep fried
Any itemOH NO
Some dwarves are allergic to plump helmets. If they eat plump helmets, they generate massive amounts of miasma and magma until they are hungry again.
haha I made le quote :DDDDDSome dwarves are allergic to plump helmets. If they eat plump helmets, they generate massive amounts of miasma and magma until they are hungry again.
Allergy might actually be a gooc mechanic.
QuoteQuoteQuoteQuotele quOTEQuoteQuoteadD LE QUOTTEEE :DDDDDD
I WANt to dIE DDDDDD:
Dwarves cab combine Power Rangers style into a bigger dwarf to fight large monsters. Other dwarves becomes the arms and legs while one dwarf becomes the torso/head.Once combined, they cannot uncombine, if they do, their minds are still shared, and they become a 5 bodied mind
Is this Gurren Lagaan?What is that?
Dwarves cab combine Power Rangers style into a bigger dwarf to fight large monsters. Other dwarves becomes the arms and legs while one dwarf becomes the torso/head.~giant woman~
Also, the same thing could work backwards, with the cells of dwarves actually being tiny dwarves.OH GOD EVERYTHING IS DWARVES, ITS DWARVES ALL THE WAY DOWN!
For dwarves, yes, but trees would be made of smaller trees, goblins would be made of smaller goblins ect.Also, the same thing could work backwards, with the cells of dwarves actually being tiny dwarves.OH GOD EVERYTHING IS DWARVES, ITS DWARVES ALL THE WAY DOWN!
Angelic vaults now contain "words", which when arranged define the rules of the universe, like in the game Baba is You. If you manage to breach the vault, you can change these rules to suit you.FUS RO DAH!
EKK SwA BLAAngelic vaults now contain "words", which when arranged define the rules of the universe, like in the game Baba is You. If you manage to breach the vault, you can change these rules to suit you.FUS RO DAH!
Dragons can now have children with literally anything (as long as it's alive). Including other megabeasts.
Photosynthetic dragons have a chance of growing instead of whatever seed you intended to plantDragons can now have children with literally anything (as long as it's alive). Including other megabeasts.
Including trees.
Parrots, corvids, cephalopods, dolphins, and other such intelligent creatures now have a AI consisting of an exact simulated copy of a real animal's brain. Dwarves, humans, and elves remain as dumb as ever.+1 plz add
Parrots, corvids, cephalopods, dolphins, and other such intelligent creatures now have a AI consisting of an exact simulated copy of a real animal's brain. Dwarves, humans, and elves remain as dumb as ever.This might just be weirdest way to start an AI rebellion anyone has ever come up with.
I, for one, welcome our new AI Dolphin overlords.There are tomes I think SIs will run the world better than the current BIs (Biological Intelligence)es
I doubt it, they'll probably be as big a bastards as we are.I, for one, welcome our new AI Dolphin overlords.There are tomes I think SIs will run the world better than the current BIs (Biological Intelligence)es
Of course they will, only they'll be more efficient at it.I doubt it, they'll probably be as big a bastards as we are.I, for one, welcome our new AI Dolphin overlords.There are tomes I think SIs will run the world better than the current BIs (Biological Intelligence)es
Angelic vaults now contain "words", which when arranged define the rules of the universe, like in the game Baba is You. If you manage to breach the vault, you can change these rules to suit you.
You can now embark as clowns, the wagon is the clown car, the hamlet is the circus, walls are tents, pillars are tent poles, all food are candy, mountain home is candymountain, horses are unicorns, and kobolds steal kidneys.Yes, don’t forget the Banana Kihg, a Banana man who will periodically;ly come to your site to demand certain plants. These demands will be yearly during the summer, and there is no way to know what he will demand, failure to comply will result in one of your citizens or squad members to be taken instead
... and orgasms.But only the fake ones.
Elves can now enhance their wooden sticks, potentially making some of them as sharp as a masterwork adamantine battle axe.Elves gain access through various means to special tree seeds that grow into trees whose wood can be unnaturally heavy, light, hard, etc. These types of wood can be used to make weapons and armor on par with anything dwarves can make, with the benefit of being renewable and not containing clowns. They won't trade these types of wood to you, and your dwarves refuse to pick up fallen wooden arms and armor on principle.
Elves gain access through various means to special tree seeds that grow into trees whose wood can be unnaturally heavy, light, hard, etc. These types of wood can be used to make weapons and armor on par with anything dwarves can make, with the benefit of being renewable and not containing clowns. They won't trade these types of wood to you, and your dwarves refuse to pick up fallen wooden arms and armor on principle.
I think elves could benefit most from the magic update. Dwarves have their tech, Goblins their numbers and elves will fight with magic and walking forests. And humans...are...tall?Humans don't have weird hang-ups about wood and know better than to mess with clowns and cotton candy.
Once that magic update comes around, we're all going to stop cutting down trees out of spite and start launching humans off drawbridges.Screw that, I'm launching EVERYONE off drawbridges as a precaution.
What if we pickup the whole fortress and launch it into orbit?We would die of suffocation unless we have an oxyten storage mechanism. Also good luck having liquid anything in space
Slade shoes, nooo, slade flip-flops.
Sleeping with magma crabs can produce half-crab half-dwarf people. Possible with any other creature. Imagine half-maggots"And that, son, is how I met your mother."
Sleeping with magma crabs can produce half-crab half-dwarf people. Possible with any other creature. Imagine half-maggotsAnd these hybrids can procreate with other creatures, including other hybrids, eventually your world will fill with chimeras of hundreds of creatures melded into each other, raccoons with zebra stripes, moth wings, scorpion tails, eagle eyes, and human teeth, goblins with the heads of beak dogs, aphids with the ability to spin silk and spit fire, and so many others
I think I've read that when Toady was writing the jumping scripts - he offset it by a power of 10000, and when people jumped they exploded into gore on the nearest solid object.So, if he knew what was wrong, was he able to fix it?
Michael Bay mode. Everything, EVERYTHING has a chance to explode on contac or simply by random, with a higher chance of chain reactions once something explodes.Megan Fox is a fox woman who leads an army of foxes. Every fox is part of Megan Fox’s mind. They are known as the Foxmind
Also everytime you play you have a ever increasing chance of Megan Fox starting to hate you.
Elves gain access through various means to special tree seeds that grow into trees whose wood can be unnaturally heavy, light, hard, etc. These types of wood can be used to make weapons and armor on par with anything dwarves can make, with the benefit of being renewable and not containing clowns. They won't trade these types of wood to you, and your dwarves refuse to pick up fallen wooden arms and armor on principle.
This is actually extremely good! I always wanted the elves to be more than complete pushovers. Like, at very least having copper-tier weapons, only enchanted grown wood instead of the actual copper.
Every gnome that enters the embark site is immediately announced like this:Gnomes gnow ignvade as egnormous armies.
Ho ho ho ha ha ha ho ho ho he he ha
hello me old chum
Im gnot a gnelf
Im gnot a gnobblin
Im a gnome
and you've lost The Game!
Paranoia:FTFY
Dwarves, after dig deep disasters in their civs, become very paranoid. Any adventurer who isn't clearly from their civilization, or who is stained with blood, will be assumed to be hostile. Kill on sight. Likewise, tavern-goers, diplomats, and merchants will be wiped out by paranoid dwarves who think they might just bedevilsgnomes in disguise.
My feature idea: Update Dwarf Fortress using the unity engine and abandon the complex world in favor of a generic fantasy world to appeal to the mainstream gamers and make money instead of permanent fans.Tw worst suggestion, yet. It would no longer be Dwarf Fortress at that point
Paranoia:You look like a migrant...
Dwarves, after dig deep disasters in their civs, become very paranoid. Any adventurer who isn't clearly from their civilization, or who is stained with blood, will be assumed to be hostile. Kill on sight. Likewise, tavern-goers, diplomats, and merchants will be wiped out by paranoid dwarves who think they might just be devils in disguise.
You must now create fishing poles for dwarves to fish.
Enemy Siegers will now found and construct Sites on top of Player Forts while they’re still playing. Of thr Player attemots to dig their way out, the enemy Siegers will notice, and use constructed Walls to prevent the Player from escaping, since Constructions made by Enemy Siegers cannot be destroyed. The Caravan will stop coming, all attempts to abandon or retire the Fort will be met with failiure due to the Dwarves’ trapped state. FBs and Cavern Creatures will stop spawning, as will all HFS. Dwarves will cease to require food or water, will become remarkably mentally stable, will become immune to drowning, falling, fire, and a great number of other things. The World is now unusable, have fun!Immune to drowning and fire? Well, exterminating a forest retreat using magma and cave-ins could actually be fun.
The Ascii graphics are replaced with emojis. So are the descriptions.
remember, this is the Terrible Suggestions ThreadThe Ascii graphics are replaced with emojis. So are the descriptions.
This should be illegal.
If a dwarf stays out in the sun too long, he/she becomes a nature lover, shaves the beard (if male) and consorts with sun spirits.What, if the dwarf is female she keeps the beard?
remember, this is the Terrible Suggestions ThreadThe Ascii graphics are replaced with emojis. So are the descriptions.
This should be illegal.
I like comic sans, why do you think it’s bad?COMIC SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS!
I'll see your Comic Sans, and raise you a Wingdings.remember, this is the Terrible Suggestions ThreadThe Ascii graphics are replaced with emojis. So are the descriptions.
This should be illegal.
There's a difference between terrible and crimes against humanity.
Suggestion:
ASCII graphics are replaced with Comic Sans font.
All text in the game should be replaced by Wingdings.I'll see your Comic Sans, and raise you a Wingdings.remember, this is the Terrible Suggestions ThreadThe Ascii graphics are replaced with emojis. So are the descriptions.
This should be illegal.
There's a difference between terrible and crimes against humanity.
Suggestion:
ASCII graphics are replaced with Comic Sans font.
the Forum doesn’t like Wingdings. I would have made a post in Wingdings but it didn’t work⬥♒♋⧫
the Forum doesn’t like Wingdings. I would have made a post in Wingdings but it didn’t work☞︎◆︎♍︎🙵 ⍓︎□︎◆︎
I like comic sans, why do you think it’s bad?You monster! (Dont know if the rigth word would be too or also).
Relationships became more complex in the last update, but we still do not know, where dwarven children come from. We need an expansion of the wrestling system, to give nsfw things room in this simulation. ;)If such things were to be, I'd be a lot more comfortable with them if they didn't tie directly into combat systems. :v
Relationships became more complex in the last update, but we still do not know, where dwarven children come from. We need an expansion of the wrestling system, to give nsfw things room in this simulation. ;)If such things were to be, I'd be a lot more comfortable with them if they didn't tie directly into combat systems. :v
"In a time before time, I [CENSORED] me."
Dwarves now grow beards on their hands.
FIFYDwarves now grow beards on their [CENSORED].
FIFY
Crowd-source the jokes and flattery file on 4chan.
Crowd-source the jokes and flattery file on 4chan's /r9k/I made it worse.
Crowd-source the jokes and flattery file on 4chan's /r9k/I made it worse.
add big tiddy kobold gfyou can already do that
add big tiddy kobold gf[notices artifact]
Whenever one of your dwarves acts uncivil, a giant toad with a banhammer shows up to banish them from your world. There's an unskippable low-quality cinematic of the toad smacking a dwarf into space each time it happens.No, it must be only the highest quality cinematic.
Dwarf beards are now similar to armpits, and as such, dwarves generate miasma if they have not washed their beard in too long.
The MOUNT tag is depreciated in favor of allowing all creatures to ride any other creature. Moreover, creatures can ride creatures that are already riding other creatures.+1, I support this
Each creature must make a KINESTHETIC_SENSE check to keep from falling over and a STRENGTH check to support the creatures above it. The taller the stack, the harder thia becomes.
Circuses will try to stack as many creatures as possible as an attraction.
Occasionally this will occur in the wild, and you will see roaming stacks of creatures.
I also support the living totem poles, and we need to stack animals until the stack leaves the atmosphere!The MOUNT tag is depreciated in favor of allowing all creatures to ride any other creature. Moreover, creatures can ride creatures that are already riding other creatures.+1, I support this
Each creature must make a KINESTHETIC_SENSE check to keep from falling over and a STRENGTH check to support the creatures above it. The taller the stack, the harder thia becomes.
Circuses will try to stack as many creatures as possible as an attraction.
Occasionally this will occur in the wild, and you will see roaming stacks of creatures.
alright, the bottom animal needs to be very big with lots of strength, a hydraI also support the living totem poles, and we need to stack animals until the stack leaves the atmosphere!The MOUNT tag is depreciated in favor of allowing all creatures to ride any other creature. Moreover, creatures can ride creatures that are already riding other creatures.+1, I support this
Each creature must make a KINESTHETIC_SENSE check to keep from falling over and a STRENGTH check to support the creatures above it. The taller the stack, the harder thia becomes.
Circuses will try to stack as many creatures as possible as an attraction.
Occasionally this will occur in the wild, and you will see roaming stacks of creatures.
Just mod in Godzilla and make him hold the tower, and it has the added bonus of getting us higher off the ground faster.alright, the bottom animal needs to be very big with lots of strength, a hydraI also support the living totem poles, and we need to stack animals until the stack leaves the atmosphere!The MOUNT tag is depreciated in favor of allowing all creatures to ride any other creature. Moreover, creatures can ride creatures that are already riding other creatures.+1, I support this
Each creature must make a KINESTHETIC_SENSE check to keep from falling over and a STRENGTH check to support the creatures above it. The taller the stack, the harder thia becomes.
Circuses will try to stack as many creatures as possible as an attraction.
Occasionally this will occur in the wild, and you will see roaming stacks of creatures.
Can they each take a z level instead of piling on infinitely?Adventurers generally only look at things in a perfect horizontal slice, so it's actually a perfect ambush method!
Imagine wandering as an adventurer and you see a dingo but then you keep looking up and boom: it's actually 15 dingoes in a stack.
Can they each take a z level instead of piling on infinitely?15 dingoes in a stack trying to sneak into an R-rated movie.
Imagine wandering as an adventurer and you see a dingo but then you keep looking up and boom: it's actually 15 dingoes in a stack.
The MOUNT tag is depreciated in favor of allowing all creatures to ride any other creature. Moreover, creatures can ride creatures that are already riding other creatures.
Each creature must make a KINESTHETIC_SENSE check to keep from falling over and a STRENGTH check to support the creatures above it. The taller the stack, the harder thia becomes.
Circuses will try to stack as many creatures as possible as an attraction.
Occasionally this will occur in the wild, and you will see roaming stacks of creatures.
Now that viruses are on voge, df simulates viruses down to molecular scale. Like in real life some migth get to be know, although in a limited fashion given the timeframe constrains. It also emulate many thousands if not millions of unknown viruses in all biomes and creatures.FYI due to how Viruses work this necessitates simulating all cells of all living and some undead creatures. And every single nucleotide of every single DNA molecule.
Is this not the ultimate end-goal of DF anyways?Now that viruses are on voge, df simulates viruses down to molecular scale. Like in real life some migth get to be know, although in a limited fashion given the timeframe constrains. It also emulate many thousands if not millions of unknown viruses in all biomes and creatures.FYI due to how Viruses work this necessitates simulating all cells of all living and some undead creatures. And every single nucleotide of every single DNA molecule.
The end goal is, afaik, to get to a point where we're able to build computers inside quarks if we set quantumtunneling=false.Is this not the ultimate end-goal of DF anyways?Now that viruses are on voge, df simulates viruses down to molecular scale. Like in real life some migth get to be know, although in a limited fashion given the timeframe constrains. It also emulate many thousands if not millions of unknown viruses in all biomes and creatures.FYI due to how Viruses work this necessitates simulating all cells of all living and some undead creatures. And every single nucleotide of every single DNA molecule.
You Feel Uneasy.
The large human wrestler: Greetings. My name is Aki Purpletongs. Praise strength.
The Human Wrestler Aki Uromilre silently grabs your upper left arm from behind with his left hand!
The Human Wrestler Aki Uromilre silently grabs your upper right arm from behind with his right hand!
You struggle in vain against the human wrestler Aki Uromilre's grip!
The Human Wrestler Aki Uromilre: You are amazing.
The Human Wrestler Aki Uromilre releases his grip on your upper left arm.
The Human Wrestler Aki Uromilre releases his grip on your upper left arm.
Some enemies should attack you with goals other than to kill or rob you, but their actual intentions may make you wish they did.Quote from: Cursed GamelogYou Feel Uneasy.
The large human wrestler: Greetings. My name is Aki Purpletongs. Praise strength.
The Human Wrestler Aki Uromilre silently grabs your upper left arm from behind with his left hand!
The Human Wrestler Aki Uromilre silently grabs your upper right arm from behind with his right hand!
You struggle in vain against the human wrestler Aki Uromilre's grip!
The Human Wrestler Aki Uromilre: You are amazing.
The Human Wrestler Aki Uromilre releases his grip on your upper left arm.
The Human Wrestler Aki Uromilre releases his grip on your upper left arm.
Chicken mans! Basically some random guy that spawns chickens. How is this terriblr you ask? Well, there will also be...
Chicken man mans
Petshop workshop:
A workshop where morally ambiguous dwarves will sell any animals they find to other dwarves as pets. Sure, that beakdog is trained, don't worry about it. No, that's not the yeti that killed 12 merchants - that's your new pet!
The behavior of [INVADERS_IGNORE_NEUTRALS] applies to infant and children members of the fort as well. The reason being that if they are morally inclined to not kill a caravan for trading with the enemy, they should also have reservations against stabbing babies just because their parents happen to be enemies.
[/goodpartofsuggestion]
If a neutral-ignoring invader orphans an infant or child, it carries infants and leads children along like a dwarf bringing an animal to pasture, with no limit to the number of dwarves an invader can acquire in this manner. This means a siege can degrade into a desperate balancing act between wrangling a horde of sobbing children, juggling an enitre generation of dwarven babies, and trying to fight off theirhalf75%97.7%stark-raving mad200% insane neighbors, friends, and extended family all at once.
If an invader manages to leave the map with a dwarf in tow, it adopts them and integrates them as member of their civilization. The game treats this like an abduction, and you can send dwarves on missions to unadopt the child.
[/terriblepartofsuggestion]
Dwarven babies must be pastured or they will die.Fwzrf babies will attempt to suckle other pastured animals in a sense of its mother. Dwarf babies will also attempt to ride an animal when not suckling. Dwarf babies who drink enough milk from other animals will gradually gain traits depending on how much of each animal’s milk they drink. Example: if a baby drinks 75% rabbit milk and 25% kangaroo milk, it will become a creature that is 75% rabbit and 25% kangaroo. Thus it can breed with rabbits and kangaroos
FTFYDon'tallow dwarves to breed with kangaroosorso this will end up as an emo furry game similar to the emo furry webcomic Boston and Shaun.
Don't allow dwarves to breed with kangaroos
This makes falls a lot more...interesting.
As dwarves never excrete anything, all the mass of the food they eat and liquid they drink should, by all rights, be conserved forever. As such, once a dwarf stops growing, they slowly become more and more dense; a sufficiently long-lived and well-fed dwarf will become a tromping mass of meat heavier than an equal-sized lump of slade. This makes falls a lot more...interesting.When a dwarf dies, the freshest items they ate/drank can be harvested, partially digested things can be taken out as well
As dwarves never excrete anything, all the mass of the food they eat and liquid they drink should, by all rights, be conserved forever. As such, once a dwarf stops growing, they slowly become more and more dense; a sufficiently long-lived and well-fed dwarf will become a tromping mass of meat heavier than an equal-sized lump of slade. This makes falls a lot more...interesting.If they get dense enough the can collapse into a black hole when they die.
As dwarves never excrete anything, all the mass of the food they eat and liquid they drink should, by all rights, be conserved forever. As such, once a dwarf stops growing, they slowly become more and more dense; a sufficiently long-lived and well-fed dwarf will become a tromping mass of meat heavier than an equal-sized lump of slade. This makes falls a lot more...interesting.If they get dense enough the can collapse into a black hole when they die.
"Ushod's gettin a bit hefty, ain't he?"As dwarves never excrete anything, all the mass of the food they eat and liquid they drink should, by all rights, be conserved forever. As such, once a dwarf stops growing, they slowly become more and more dense; a sufficiently long-lived and well-fed dwarf will become a tromping mass of meat heavier than an equal-sized lump of slade. This makes falls a lot more...interesting.If they get dense enough the can collapse into a black hole when they die.
Why wait their deaths?
But what ARE Tribbles?
I think they are small furry asexually dreproducing spheres that may or may not consume metal for sustenanceBut what ARE Tribbles?
Trouble.
Game shows:
Dwarves develop gameshows in world gen and have their favorites. Every dwarf wants to be on a gameshow, a need that cannot be met in fortress mode. Dwarves will petition for game show studios to be built, but again, such a designation doesn't exist.
Is that Cheetah Wagon supposed to be a sports car or something?It sure it faster than a wagon being pulled a yak and a horse.
Dwarves engage in dangerous street races using wagons.DwRves exhibit a feR of not being around glass, glass is now used in everything, including clothing and food. Dwarves can get injuries from glass shards within them
Dwarves now build fruit stalls around the fortress. They are guaranteed to be knocked over during any kind of chase, causing negative thoughts to the stall owners.
Dwarves also haul panes of glass around constantly.
Dwarves now build fruit stalls around the fortress. They are guaranteed to be knocked over during any kind of chase, causing negative thoughts to the stall owners.
why can’t I spell? TerrSug time: Announcements and interface will be misspelled, so you have to pay attention to know whether you are fighting a choclatecobra or chupacabra, as an example. Misspell Mania also applies to adventure mode tooDwarves engage in dangerous street races using wagons.DwRves exhibit a feR of not being around glass, glass is now used in everything, including clothing and food. Dwarves can get injuries from glass shards within them
Dwarves now build fruit stalls around the fortress. They are guaranteed to be knocked over during any kind of chase, causing negative thoughts to the stall owners.
Dwarves also haul panes of glass around constantly.
Spymaster position.to reveal him, the player must get the cursor over him, dwarves will not be able to distinguish the spymaster unless you select him/her and select Mark For Dwarves when you Look at him/her. Selecting the option will cause the spymaster to start talking to dwarves, still in creature form
He allows you to send spies and questers and stuff but he disguises as a random creature that's present on the embark site every time he leaves the player's view.
Dwarves may go stark raving mad if the spymaster speaks to them while in creature form.And it isn't because of the disguise, its because he's so damn ugly.
At 100 dwarves, a big ugly worm comes with the migrant wave.FTFYIt doesn't do anything special, it's just there to hang out.It will keep implementing bad suggestions into this fortress, then he current world, then the whole DF program, and eventually the whole computer will be corrupted with bad suggestions and then ultimately breaks down.
I am inevitable (unless you keep the pop cap low).At 100 dwarves, a big ugly worm comes with the migrant wave.FTFYIt doesn't do anything special, it's just there to hang out.It will keep implementing bad suggestions into this fortress, then he current world, then the whole DF program, and eventually the whole computer will be corrupted with bad suggestions and then ultimately breaks down.
My fortresses tend not to attract many nigrants, due to the were East problems I keep having
How the hell would that work?My fortresses tend not to attract many nigrants, due to the were East problems I keep having
In addition to werecreatures, we should get wereconcepts, with sentients turning into a concept such as light, poetry or wealth every new moon.
someone who turns into a werecincept might turn into a poem book that eats those who get too closeHow the hell would that work?My fortresses tend not to attract many nigrants, due to the were East problems I keep having
In addition to werecreatures, we should get wereconcepts, with sentients turning into a concept such as light, poetry or wealth every new moon.
Usangvagus the Malice of Tempering had arrived. A monstrous chastity twisted into humanoid form. Now you will know why you fear the night.Everyone who gets bitten turns into a chastity belt during the full moon.
If we're going to talk about wereconcepts we should also talk about wereitems, which cause you to turn into a random item every full moon.These wereitems will have a proc gen list of effects that can be either positive or negative. Only one way to find out!
And if you get a werehelmet infestation in your fortress you can create your very own version of the TV show Lidsville.
Reverse werebeasts: animals that turn into confused-yet-harmless dwarves during the full moon.
Were-workshops!those who craft at a wereworkshop while in workshop form are now going to turn into a wereworkshop, sometimes in the same night. There could be a whole group of wereworkshops spawning from one initial workshop due to this method of spread. Creatures have no way of knowing whether or not they’re wereworkshops or regular ones until they see a workshop turn into a creature, sometimes this happens while they are crafting, which gives the crafter and the wereworkshop turned creature confused/startled thoughtd
How would that work tho?
Were-workshops!those who craft at a wereworkshop while in workshop form are now going to turn into a wereworkshop, sometimes in the same night. There could be a whole group of wereworkshops spawning from one initial workshop due to this method of spread. Creatures have no way of knowing whether or not they’re wereworkshops or regular ones until they see a workshop turn into a creature, sometimes this happens while they are crafting, which gives the crafter and the wereworkshop turned creature confused/startled thoughtd
How would that work tho?
Werewagons!
WereworldsHonestly, that sounds kind of fun, for, well, one time.
They turn into save files. You have to play unthil the end of full moon in every single one of them in order to recover the original save. There time passage before embarking feature is disabled in wereworlds. All wereworlds consist entirelly of a single mountain with a fortress and tons of terrifying glacier tiles.
thsts why every wereworld differs! While one may be ice, another may have you playing as underwater forts with octopusmen as playable characters, yet another might have you play as a small group of human seeking out a living in the desert. Another could have you as an adventurer in a world with glass trees and rock animals, and still another would be you having to survive as a tick trying to drink the blood of the various creatures. Losing/dying creates a new wereworld. Every wereworld is different. If you die too many times in a wereworld, you the player, the poster, will wake up in one and will need to survive and find an escape from whatever world you spawn in, using whatever body you have, each time you manage to make your way back to the real world, 2 wereworldd are cured, and it will take slightly more failed wereworlds for you to go back into one IRL. Also each time you escape, you can use your form you used in the wereworld, but if you use it in this world, you will not be able to change back, meaning to get a human form again, you will have to be transported through a wereworld where you are human, so if you survive, you can use the human form. Did I spend too much time on this a/ I think wereworlds are cool. The first wereworld will spawn randomly when a tile is mined, as will others. Each time a wereworld is made this way, there will be a notification saying “[miner] has discovered a portal to somewhere new”WereworldsHonestly, that sounds kind of fun, for, well, one time.
They turn into save files. You have to play unthil the end of full moon in every single one of them in order to recover the original save. There time passage before embarking feature is disabled in wereworlds. All wereworlds consist entirelly of a single mountain with a fortress and tons of terrifying glacier tiles.
thsts why every wereworld differs! While one may be ice, another may have you playing as underwater forts with octopusmen as playable characters, yet another might have you play as a small group of human seeking out a living in the desert. Another could have you as an adventurer in a world with glass trees and rock animals, and still another would be you having to survive as a tick trying to drink the blood of the various creatures.
Dwarven AI is replaced with real players.this sounds like a cool suggestion, actually, how will reproduction work, though? Maybe if a player wants to join, they select a pair of parents, and those parents get a “quest” to reproduce, not sure how forgotten beasts would come about
Every tick they get send an E-Mail about the current situation and if everyone has send an answer with the action their dwarf should do back the next tick will be calculated.
Play-per-mail-massive-multiplayer
Game calculation is also made via email. Players receive calculation tasks they have to solve and send back. When everything is calculated the game tick ends.Dwarven AI is replaced with real players.this sounds like a cool suggestion, actually, how will reproduction work, though? Maybe if a player wants to join, they select a pair of parents, and those parents get a “quest” to reproduce, not sure how forgotten beasts would come about
Every tick they get send an E-Mail about the current situation and if everyone has send an answer with the action their dwarf should do back the next tick will be calculated.
Play-per-mail-massive-multiplayer
interesting. What happens when there is an error?Game calculation is also made via email. Players receive calculation tasks they have to solve and send back. When everything is calculated the game tick ends.Dwarven AI is replaced with real players.this sounds like a cool suggestion, actually, how will reproduction work, though? Maybe if a player wants to join, they select a pair of parents, and those parents get a “quest” to reproduce, not sure how forgotten beasts would come about
Every tick they get send an E-Mail about the current situation and if everyone has send an answer with the action their dwarf should do back the next tick will be calculated.
Play-per-mail-massive-multiplayer
That would be a vilanious scheme of Toady to popularise math.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
https://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Insanity (https://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Insanity) one of those to the person who dared to make a mistake.interesting. What happens when there is an error?Game calculation is also made via email. Players receive calculation tasks they have to solve and send back. When everything is calculated the game tick ends.Dwarven AI is replaced with real players.this sounds like a cool suggestion, actually, how will reproduction work, though? Maybe if a player wants to join, they select a pair of parents, and those parents get a “quest” to reproduce, not sure how forgotten beasts would come about
Every tick they get send an E-Mail about the current situation and if everyone has send an answer with the action their dwarf should do back the next tick will be calculated.
Play-per-mail-massive-multiplayer
That would be a vilanious scheme of Toady to popularise math.
I'm quite sure something similar has already been suggested several times.
Toady lets loose a roaring laughter, fell and terrible!
Toady has created DWARF FORTRESS: THE FILTH AND SQUALOR UPDATE.
I'm quite sure something similar has already been suggested several times.
Sure, people have mentioned poop quite a few times before, especially given that it's one of the few essentials of real life that Toady has refused to model in the game. But no one has ever speculated the horrifying lengths that someone as obsessively detail-oriented as Toady could go to if he did decide to model it, or combined it with smoke and disease to make your dwarves' lives that much shittier (pun intended). I started thinking about how filthy, smelly, smoky and generally unhealthy an underground fortress would be without proper ventilation and hygiene, and couldn't stop typing until I had brought it to life in all of its hideous, nauseating detail.
Edit: Plus, I made elves immune to diseases, no matter how little they clean up their own shit. How many other DF players have ever said to themselves, "You know, what this game really needs is for the elves to be even more insufferable?"
Edit 2: I haven't even thought through all the possible ramifications of this yet. Already, one of the "spheres" where a powerful being like a god, demon or megabeast can have influence is called "muck." All that's needed is a few modifications to the in-game languages and hey presto!
The forgotten beast Filthspurts the Defecation of Diarrhea has come! A towering blob composed of feces. It has a bloated appearance and there is a foul reek about it. Beware its noxious secretions!
I can't imagine how bad fortresses smell already. Now we're adding shit to the mix?
Dog parasites:
Dogs kept on an unhealthy diet of nothing (I guess they eat dirt?) Will start to develop parasites such as fleas and worms. Such effects include spreading it to dwarves and other animals. Soon dwarves are walking at quarter speed as they sit on the floor and drag their ass against the carpet.
Edit: Plus, I made elves immune to diseases, no matter how little they clean up their own shit. How many other DF players have ever said to themselves, "You know, what this game really needs is for the elves to be even more insufferable?"I'm now imagining elves as proper filthy, unwashed hippies, caked in their own excrement and exuding reeking clouds of miasma the moment they come inside. They leave trails of filth as they wander through your fortress and contaminate any water they enter. If they fight your citizens while unarmed, a single bite or scratch can cause a non-elf to collapse and die instantly from septic shock.
A suggestion that starts off well, and gets progressively worse.i made a thread for not terrible suggestions, but no one is using it (this hints that I actually like the suggestion)
The game needs more sound: I suggest that all animals in the game get at least 1 sound they can make, the volume of which will increase in relation to its proximity to the nearest dwarf, and especially if the animal is currently shown on screen. Naturally, DF animals that also exist in the real world will use that animal's actual calls. Animal Trainers who wish to tame wild animals will first need to imitate that specific animal's sounds--those who respect Nature, and have high values in the Linguistic Ability and Musicality attributes, will have a strong advantage here. Players whose Animal Trainers have low scores in these areas, however, will be better served by imitating the noises themselves, grunting and screaming into a microphone. Remember, volume is supposed to increase with proximity, and your Animal Trainer is standing right next to the critter, so you gotta be LOUD! The larger and more threatening a fantasy monster is (giant desert scorpion, cave dragon, etc.), the more its calls should sound like pornographic moaning.
What about possesed or reanimated weapon traps?reanimation requires death, which requires them to be alive, Weapon Traps are now alive, and must be fed Metal otherwise they will eat the weapons instead of using them. Every 1000 feedings, their size doubles and thus require twice as much food (Metal) for each feeding
LUST_PROPENSITY is already a personality trait, so why not do something with it? Introduce needs and values related to sex!
Tirist McRepressed is constantly ablaze with lust, and he is conflicted by this because he values chastity.
Rakust Kinkyboots is aroused after being chained.
Urist McHorndog is distracted after being unable to clap cheeks.
Yet, which brings me to the following suggestionLUST_PROPENSITY is already a personality trait, so why not do something with it? Introduce needs and values related to sex!
Tirist McRepressed is constantly ablaze with lust, and he is conflicted by this because he values chastity.
Rakust Kinkyboots is aroused after being chained.
Urist McHorndog is distracted after being unable to clap cheeks.
It sounds actually a good idea.
To make it bad: nobles are sometimes wanting a metal they shouldn't logically know, such as slade. Some dwarves could lust over persons they cannot access, either because they live in a place they wan't go, they are dead or even they don't exist.
Tulpa a pancake into existence by engraving pancakes on all the walls.Fixed it for you.
FTFYTulpa a pancake bunny into existence by engraving pancakes and bunnies on all the walls.Fixed it for you.
yes, engravings would cause someone to think about the creatures longerFTFYTulpa a pancake bunny into existence by engraving pancakes and bunnies on all the walls.Fixed it for you.
Dwarf Fortress implements Smell-O-Vision, emitting puffs of odor to match whatever is currently on-screen. Bask in the musk of your decades-old chicken coop, soak up the sulfuric reek of a magma chamber, and contemplate the unique aroma of the alternating layers of booze, blood, and vomit that have soaked into the floor of your tavern.we will also learn what forgotten beasts and other mythical creatures smell like
Haptic feedback support for adventure mode. Immerse yourself even further by experiencing the sensation of severed limbs and perforated organs.
You play as a beard and have to exert control over your idiot dwarf that tries to do stupid and dangerous things constantly.the “hairs” of the beard are actually nerves. Your dwarf needs to craft bone protections for you
Beard shield, worn on the beard to protect it from everything.You play as a beard and have to exert control over your idiot dwarf that tries to do stupid and dangerous things constantly.the “hairs” of the beard are actually nerves. Your dwarf needs to craft bone protections for you
Can we all take a moment to appreciate how utterly fucked DF VR would be, between the ASCII graphics and the impossible UI?
It's like Tron except everything hates the User. So Tron, I guess.
Add the opposite of pants.
QuoteAdd quote pyramidsQuoteAdd quote pyramidsQuoteAdd quote pyramidsQuoteAdd quote pyramids.QuoteAdd quote pyramidsQuoteAdd quote pyramidsAdd quote pyramids.
Deleting the contents of the posts shouldn't affect the forums negatively, only deleting the actual posts themselves causes that. So he can at least remove the posts if not the topic.why would deleting a topic affect things negatively? Wouldn’t it free up space?
Removing the topic isn't what breaks things its removing the posts that breaks things, removing posts is why quotes from some threads don't work right.Deleting the contents of the posts shouldn't affect the forums negatively, only deleting the actual posts themselves causes that. So he can at least remove the posts if not the topic.why would deleting a topic affect things negatively? Wouldn’t it free up space?
A dwarf will die without a beard, but a beard can live without a dwarf.someone had in their signature that 'dwarves are just alcohol powered parasitic beards that cling to small cave adapt humanoids'
i saw that signature too. Too bad I don;t know. It isn’t and wasn’t me. So thst narrows it down by one, and then you so that’s two who it can’t beA dwarf will die without a beard, but a beard can live without a dwarf.someone had in their signature that 'dwarves are just alcohol powered parasitic beards that cling to small cave adapt humanoids'
can't remember who though
i saw that signature too. Too bad I don;t know. It isn’t and wasn’t me. So thst narrows it down by one, and then you so that’s two who it can’t beA dwarf will die without a beard, but a beard can live without a dwarf.someone had in their signature that 'dwarves are just alcohol powered parasitic beards that cling to small cave adapt humanoids'
can't remember who though
Terrible Suggestion: Forgotten Vapors
You know those symptoms Forgotten Beasts give? Well now there are rooms full of vapors thst cause such symptoms, as well as completely new symptoms, such as turning muscles into bones, turning skin into neurons, turning eyes into hair, ect.
Implement needs for wagons
Dude, obviously it’s bothImplement needs for wagons
Do you mean "dwarves have an emotional need for wagons", or "wagons have their own emotional needs"? The latter would be less impactful but more stupid, and therefore better.
"dwarves have an emotional need for wagons"Urist is sexually attracted to wagons. Urist felt ecstasy while fornicating with a wagon.
Implement needs for wagons
Do you mean "dwarves have an emotional need for wagons", or "wagons have their own emotional needs"? The latter would be less impactful but more stupid, and therefore better.
wagons have a favorite item, each wagon is born with a random favorite item, whether or not it can be produced in your fort. Whenever s wagon does not carry its favorite item, it will progressively go insane and run off in search of its favorite item. A wagon can not be cured of insanity until it is filled only with its favorite item. If it has even one item that isn’t its favorite item, it’s sanity will slowly drip awayImplement needs for wagons
Do you mean "dwarves have an emotional need for wagons", or "wagons have their own emotional needs"? The latter would be less impactful but more stupid, and therefore better.
implement wagon tantrums so you have to keep your wagons needs satisfied
wagons have a favorite item, each wagon is born with a random favorite item, whether or not it can be produced in your fort. Whenever s wagon does not carry its favorite item, it will progressively go insane and run off in search of its favorite item. A wagon can not be cured of insanity until it is filled only with its favorite item. If it has even one item that isn’t its favorite item, it’s sanity will slowly drip awayImplement needs for wagons
Do you mean "dwarves have an emotional need for wagons", or "wagons have their own emotional needs"? The latter would be less impactful but more stupid, and therefore better.
implement wagon tantrums so you have to keep your wagons needs satisfied
now I am curious, how is sentience and personality even added to the game? Could one do this by modding? Imagine if plants have personalities too, or societies? More plant men, item men, living vehicles? Wagon men? Not on.y wagons gaining personality, but also humanoid wagon creatures as well?wagons have a favorite item, each wagon is born with a random favorite item, whether or not it can be produced in your fort. Whenever s wagon does not carry its favorite item, it will progressively go insane and run off in search of its favorite item. A wagon can not be cured of insanity until it is filled only with its favorite item. If it has even one item that isn’t its favorite item, it’s sanity will slowly drip awayImplement needs for wagons
Do you mean "dwarves have an emotional need for wagons", or "wagons have their own emotional needs"? The latter would be less impactful but more stupid, and therefore better.
implement wagon tantrums so you have to keep your wagons needs satisfied
Give wagon's a personality. Make their favourite item a feature of their personality and subject to change with the wagons experiences. Wagons opinions can be swayed by arguments, changing their favourite items. Wagons can have their values corrupted by plotters, which can include other wagons
now I am curious, how is sentience and personality even added to the game? Could one do this by modding? Imagine if plants have personalities too, or societies? More plant men, item men, living vehicles? Wagon men? Not on.y wagons gaining personality, but also humanoid wagon creatures as well?wagons have a favorite item, each wagon is born with a random favorite item, whether or not it can be produced in your fort. Whenever s wagon does not carry its favorite item, it will progressively go insane and run off in search of its favorite item. A wagon can not be cured of insanity until it is filled only with its favorite item. If it has even one item that isn’t its favorite item, it’s sanity will slowly drip awayImplement needs for wagons
Do you mean "dwarves have an emotional need for wagons", or "wagons have their own emotional needs"? The latter would be less impactful but more stupid, and therefore better.
implement wagon tantrums so you have to keep your wagons needs satisfied
Give wagon's a personality. Make their favourite item a feature of their personality and subject to change with the wagons experiences. Wagons opinions can be swayed by arguments, changing their favourite items. Wagons can have their values corrupted by plotters, which can include other wagons
The transformation happens instantly and provides a message like werebeast transformations. Plumphelmetpeople are also aggressive against each other - should two get in a biting match, the game becomes unplayable as you constantly unpause hoping one will die.well, I thought they did, I guess they spawn mouths when biting
Also, plump helmet men don't have mouths.
Spore rainSounds like the Fungaloids from Cataclysm DDA, which makes it a good choice for this thread as they are one of the most annoying enemies in the game.
New types of fungus he are added. Each day, at dusk, and throw out the night, spire rain will fall on the land. The types of spores are randomized, so you don’t know what kinds of fungi and fungus men you will find when your dwarves venture to the surface. Adventurers would wake up to entire towns filled with deathcapmen, societies will start producing fungicides to try and shrink the nightly hordes
Sounds like Eat Your Mushrooms!Spore rainSounds like the Fungaloids from Cataclysm DDA, which makes it a good choice for this thread as they are one of the most annoying enemies in the game.
New types of fungus he are added. Each day, at dusk, and throw out the night, spire rain will fall on the land. The types of spores are randomized, so you don’t know what kinds of fungi and fungus men you will find when your dwarves venture to the surface. Adventurers would wake up to entire towns filled with deathcapmen, societies will start producing fungicides to try and shrink the nightly hordes
So everything starts out with worshiping mushrooms and making art, then it turns into a war with mushrooms one one side and people that hate mushrooms on the other?Sounds like Eat Your Mushrooms!Spore rainSounds like the Fungaloids from Cataclysm DDA, which makes it a good choice for this thread as they are one of the most annoying enemies in the game.
New types of fungus he are added. Each day, at dusk, and throw out the night, spire rain will fall on the land. The types of spores are randomized, so you don’t know what kinds of fungi and fungus men you will find when your dwarves venture to the surface. Adventurers would wake up to entire towns filled with deathcapmen, societies will start producing fungicides to try and shrink the nightly hordes
Toady should implement the content of the Eat Your Mushrooms thread.
Mushrist likes mushroom mushrooms for their mushroominess.
Badgers should badger badgers until they find a mushroom mushroom. Just watch out for the snake.oh yes, and the snake sings the Badger Badger song, which will spam your announcements
CROP CIRCLES!if a dwarf spends long enough near these crop circles, they will turn into a chimera of a dwarf, a spider, and the animal nearest to them that isn’t a dwarf or spider, so if your dwarf and a pet chicken are near the crop circles, the dwarf and chicken will fuse together and gain spider traits too
Are your above-ground farm plots just out in the open with no greenhouse or glass ceiling or grates to shelter them? Then there's a chance that a mysterious force may create geometric patterns in them that give mild radiation sickness to any dwarf that gets near.
You can also enable the D-Files in your justice tab to assign special agent dwarves to investigate these phenomena, but never actually solve anything.CROP CIRCLES!if a dwarf spends long enough near these crop circles, they will turn into a chimera of a dwarf, a spider, and the animal nearest to them that isn’t a dwarf or spider, so if your dwarf and a pet chicken are near the crop circles, the dwarf and chicken will fuse together and gain spider traits too
Are your above-ground farm plots just out in the open with no greenhouse or glass ceiling or grates to shelter them? Then there's a chance that a mysterious force may create geometric patterns in them that give mild radiation sickness to any dwarf that gets near.
flight rising. all your dwarves are different breeds of dragon and the color wheel is fully implemented. uhh...you mean the color wheel isn’t fully implemented already?
the dragons are all different sizes, and can breed with each other, but can't wear each others clothes, the genes are randomly implemented, some of the large breeds have a taste for the smaller breeds, or at least can trample them, all of them can have strange moods, but you'd better hope the smaller breeds don't need anything heavy, at random certain dragons will be 'exalted' wherein they just straight up vanish while increasing the value of your fortress, if three or more of the largest breed, imperials, are killed, the bodies will fuse together into a massive undead abomination that will rampage through your fort...flight rising. all your dwarves are different breeds of dragon and the color wheel is fully implemented. uhh...you mean the color wheel isn’t fully implemented already?
Plants can now be every color, and as such are able to use different wavelengths of light. Some require heat, some require gamma rays, ect
Hell with it, everything's dragons now. Dwarves? Small, hairy dragons. Elves? Tall, prissy dragons. Cows? Big, milkable dragons. Trees? Hard, immobile dragons. Dragons? Double-dragons.So, dragons with scales, each scale is a dragon and this continues fractally
So we use dragon pickaxes to mine dragon stones, and are the cells in the dragons made of smaller dragons?Hell with it, everything's dragons now. Dwarves? Small, hairy dragons. Elves? Tall, prissy dragons. Cows? Big, milkable dragons. Trees? Hard, immobile dragons. Dragons? Double-dragons.So, dragons with scales, each scale is a dragon and this continues fractally
.niap ot ni evig ot meht sesuac dna enob eht skaerb yllacitamotua ti ,t'nsi gel rewol s'tegrat eht dna deromra si toof ruoy fi ;tabmoc ni sgel gnitegrat nehw noitpo "nihs kcik" aLla sdrow era sdrawkcab won, neve niam unem
.niap ot ni evig ot meht sesuac dna enob eht skaerb yllacitamotua ti ,t'nsi gel rewol s'tegrat eht dna deromra si toof ruoy fi ;tabmoc ni sgel gnitegrat nehw noitpo "nihs kcik" aReading this gave me a migraine. Truly a terrible suggestion on a whole new level.
I quoted it to better read it.niap ot ni evig ot meht sesuac dna enob eht skaerb yllacitamotua ti ,t'nsi gel rewol s'tegrat eht dna deromra si toof ruoy fi ;tabmoc ni sgel gnitegrat nehw noitpo "nihs kcik" aReading this gave me a migraine. Truly a terrible suggestion on a whole new level.
TERRIBLE SUGGESTION ON A WHOLE NOTHER LEVEL, COMING THROUGH MY MINDDamage is usually to the ears, can have a possibility of exploding the ears, can hurt the player of the instrument the most, as they are of course the closest to the ear breakers. Instruments that have caused ears to explode are now called ear breakers. This cannot be deleted or changed even when renaming
Performing poorly with instruments should inflict pain on anyone that can hear it, closer they are the more it hurts. Naturally, we also need the ability to intentionally fumble performance skill checks so we can do this on purpose.
TERRIBLE SUGGESTION ON A WHOLE NOTHER LEVEL, COMING THROUGH MY MINDDamage is usually to the ears, can have a possibility of exploding the ears, can hurt the player of the instrument the most, as they are of course the closest to the ear breakers. Instruments that have caused ears to explode are now called ear breakers. This cannot be deleted or changed even when renaming
Performing poorly with instruments should inflict pain on anyone that can hear it, closer they are the more it hurts. Naturally, we also need the ability to intentionally fumble performance skill checks so we can do this on purpose.
TERRIBLE SUGGESTION ON A WHOLE NOTHER LEVEL, COMING THROUGH MY MINDIsn't this how bards work?
Performing poorly with instruments should inflict pain on anyone that can hear it, closer they are the more it hurts. Naturally, we also need the ability to intentionally fumble performance skill checks so we can do this on purpose.
"Roll performance."TERRIBLE SUGGESTION ON A WHOLE NOTHER LEVEL, COMING THROUGH MY MINDIsn't this how bards work?
Performing poorly with instruments should inflict pain on anyone that can hear it, closer they are the more it hurts. Naturally, we also need the ability to intentionally fumble performance skill checks so we can do this on purpose.
Demons get confused, they think smoking marinara is the thing that keeps them here, since they see dwarves doing it. So demons smoke marinara too, and will try trading with dwarves to obtain itThe game already has tomatoes and garlic. Toady just needs to add olive oil and bay leaves and the dwarves can make marinara.
I thought we did have olive oil? By squeezing in the screw press?Demons get confused, they think smoking marinara is the thing that keeps them here, since they see dwarves doing it. So demons smoke marinara too, and will try trading with dwarves to obtain itThe game already has tomatoes and garlic. Toady just needs to add olive oil and bay leaves and the dwarves can make marinara.
Crowdfortressing. Multiple people are sent the same calculations (e.g. whether cell [34,76,23] changes temperature and, if so, by how much) and their answers are compared[1]. Outliers are rejected (personal ratings downgrade) and concensus - if any - is reached (raising other personal ratings), or else further requests are made of more and more subscribers until one is. It would be distracting and inclined to generate bias to pass along the contexts, of course, so any value identities are randomised/normalised to entirely nonrelevant labels.Game calculation is also made via email. Players receive calculation tasks they have to solve and send back. When everything is calculated the game tick ends.interesting. What happens when there is an error?
That would be a vilanious scheme of Toady to popularise math.
Also, make dwarves need oil to reproduce.What are they? Elves?
Sounds more like automata.Also, make dwarves need oil to reproduce.What are they? Elves?
Dwarfs may fake ill health, reporting in at the hospital. The doctor's social skills will be challenged.
Sometimes they command defiling/overbuilding/dismantling of the earlier tombs, including spoiling engravings relating to their predecessors. This inevitably creates powerful restless spirits and curses as each new generation, mindful of what happened to ancestors by their hand or others, becomes determined to deflect this post-mortem fate from themselves.
Oh no, that would make life easier for dwarves.
Nobles who are sadistic will have random dwarves tortured.
After the fort's highest official is elected, there is a chance they will demand quarters for all dwarfs that currently do not own a bed. They do this in addition to demanding more lavish quarters for themselves.
Nah, a terrible suggestion could be to have a firtress-wide referendum decice of every question, including the emplacement of a stockhouse.
Give everything a very low Flash point, to reduce the effort needed to set the world on fire.We didn't start the fire.
When a dwarf creates an artifact, it immediately gets ravenously hungry and gobbles the artifact up. This makes the dwarf shinier.Some time later, the dwarf creates a ☼stool☼. Possibly in a workshop, but usually in a random public area.
Dwarves who eat anything that isn'tFixed it for you.solid graniteadamantine turn intorubbery dwarves who eventually explode in the most spectacular way possibleelves.
Elves which use featherwood arrows will send a dwarf flying into the air on a hit.the elves who use feather wood arrows, as well as dwarves and anything else hit with feather wood arrows, will be targeted by birds and birdpeople to steal the feathers from said arrows
birds will be targeted by birds to steal the feathers from said birdsElves which use featherwood arrows will send a dwarf flying into the air on a hit.the elves who use feather wood arrows, as well as dwarves and anything else hit with feather wood arrows, will be targeted by birds and birdpeople to steal the feathers from said arrows
We must stop this bird on bird crime, by having birds explode when they get close to each other.birds will be targeted by birds to steal the feathers from said birdsElves which use featherwood arrows will send a dwarf flying into the air on a hit.the elves who use feather wood arrows, as well as dwarves and anything else hit with feather wood arrows, will be targeted by birds and birdpeople to steal the feathers from said arrows
Because of this new development, birds and birdpeople hire featherless creatures, be they mammals, reptiles, etc, to steal the feathers from other feathered creatures and send it to their masters.We must stop this bird on bird crime, by having birds explode when they get close to each other.birds will be targeted by birds to steal the feathers from said birdsElves which use featherwood arrows will send a dwarf flying into the air on a hit.the elves who use feather wood arrows, as well as dwarves and anything else hit with feather wood arrows, will be targeted by birds and birdpeople to steal the feathers from said arrows
Because of this new development, birds and birdpeople hire featherless creatures, be they mammals, reptiles, etc, to steal the feathers from other feathered creatures and send it to their masters.
Elves are very enthusiastic about this and can't wait to start.Because of this new development, birds and birdpeople hire featherless creatures, be they mammals, reptiles, etc, to steal the feathers from other feathered creatures and send it to their masters.
Birds also have to be artificially inseminated to reproduce.
Elves become birds in the presence of birds.Elves are very enthusiastic about this and can't wait to start.Because of this new development, birds and birdpeople hire featherless creatures, be they mammals, reptiles, etc, to steal the feathers from other feathered creatures and send it to their masters.
Birds also have to be artificially inseminated to reproduce.
Birds surrounded by more than three other birds dies of overcrowding. Birds with less than two birds nearby dies of insuffucient social stimulation. If there are three birds crowding a spot, that spot will spontaneously generate a bird.
no, the explosion converts the tile and nearby tiles into bird guts, which will then explode turning surrounding tiles into bird guts. Eventually the entire world will turn into a giant bird corpseBirds surrounded by more than three other birds dies of overcrowding. Birds with less than two birds nearby dies of insuffucient social stimulation. If there are three birds crowding a spot, that spot will spontaneously generate a bird.
The birds still wander around into tiles occupied by other birds, allowing for the possibility of perpetual explosions. A sustained reaction will eventually destroy the world.
birds develop a taste for dwarf fleshDwarves develop a taste for bird flesh! Wait...
I don’t see a problem, they seek each other out, and the result, given time, is a combined corpse of dwarf and bird, as they each tried eating each other, and will die from the process. When necromancers revive said bird-dwarf corpses, they become Bird-Dwarf Zombies, and hunger for birds and dwarves even after death. Thus the necromancers have to keep these zombies away from each other and from any dwarf zombies and bird and bird person zombies, lest the result be no one “living” through this. Deities of Death help any dwarf or bird person necromancers who revive bird dwarf zombies, as they are now a targetbirds develop a taste for dwarf fleshDwarves develop a taste for bird flesh! Wait...
Birds surrounded by more than three other birds dies of overcrowding. Birds with less than two birds nearby dies of insuffucient social stimulation. If there are three birds crowding a spot, that spot will spontaneously generate a bird.This makes me so happy. Wait... what thread am I in?
Yes, but it also tries to turn into whatever zombie creature it was milked from...grinder from?soif a dwarf ate zombie cheese of a cow, a zombie cow could break its way out
If too many dwarves start dancing in the same space, they'll break through into the space below. This depends on the mass of the dwarves, the material sturdiness of the floor, and--most importantly--the intensity of the music.this would be good, though there’s currently not a measure of music intensity, what would that be measured with? Number of instruments and singers? Would singers/instrument players of more skill mean more intense? If so, I guess intensity is there, the better the music the more gravity it exhibits when dancers are around
Allow dwarves to have multiple beards, and when they die the beards can go about and do their own things, including breading like rabbits.
Beard bread...bread beard...bearded bread...breaded beard...hang on, there's a joke in here, I know it...Allow dwarves to have multiple beards, and when they die the beards can go about and do their own things, including breading like rabbits.
Rabbits and beards require their food to be breaded and deep fried before eating.
I kneed to hear it. Doughn't leave us hanging. Leven us to wonder is cruel.The pain! The pain! (Au chocolat...)
Tired of how hard it is to embark on glaciers? Ice and snow tiles now grow ice trees, which can be chopped down to yield ice logs. These can be used to make anything for which wood is a viable material, but will melt if heated above freezing, unless they've been crafted into something. Snow can also be tilled and planted with above-ground seeds.
Fun side-effect of this: frozen forest retreats populated by ice-elves.
Not sure if this has been suggested before: Adamantine Colosus.It yields an adamantine statue, on the off chance you manage to kill it. Valuable, but can't be melted down, so it's basically an ornament made of blue styrofoam.
Like a bronze colossus, but made of adamantine.
Not sure if this has been suggested before: Adamantine Colosus.It yields an adamantine statue, on the off chance you manage to kill it. Valuable, but can't be melted down, so it's basically an ornament made of blue styrofoam.
Like a bronze colossus, but made of adamantine.
Actually, that's an interesting point: as light as cotton candy is, would these beasts float on water? Could a wrestler chuck them through the air? And where would they spawn? Logic dictates they spawn near the magma sea, but this isn't the place for logic, so I'm gonna say they spawn wherever they feel like it and randomly level the odd village.
Actually, that's also an interesting point: collosi fight with punches and kicks, which are blunt damage. As useless as adamantine hammers are, these things might hit like a giant wearing Socker Boppers.
Silver colossus < Lead colossus < Platinum colossus < Uranium colossus < Osmium colossus < Slade colossus
You can't get uranium in game, can you?There's pitchblende[1], but it isn't (unless it's been modded?) an ore from which you can smelt element-92.
Dwarves should be able to eat pitchblende, and make clothing out of asbestos fibers.Dwarves that make clothing from asbestos have a cumulative 10% chance per year to suffer from lung cancer, or have already existing lung cancer worsened. The primary effect of said lung cancer is to make the affected dwarf tantrum once every five days regardless of personality and stress level. Have !!FUN!!
Dwarves periodically remove their asbestos clothing because it's uncomfortable. Especially when they're standing in !!magma!!, because they're uncomfortably warm.Merciful Armok, they would, too.
Dwarves who melt due to !!magma!! explode in a gigantic greasy fireball which causes a large cloud of !!magma mist!! to form. The greasy fireball, meanwhile, is melting other dwarves, who also explode, ...I'm imagining some unfortunate miner digging into a magma chamber and setting off the conga line of haulers behind them, who detonate in sequence like a huge, hairy chain of firecrackers until the chain reaction reaches either your great hall or your tavern. (Also, you have the most honest username of anyone on this forum, and for that, I commend you)
I'm imagining some unfortunate miner digging into a magma chamber and setting off the conga line of haulers behind them, who detonate in sequence like a huge, hairy chain of firecrackers until the chain reaction reaches either your great hall or your tavern.laughter
Everyone gets hammered if they even think of touching a book.I was deeply confused until I realized you meant hammered as in punished, not hammered as in drunk.
Dwarves who black out due to being drunk on thoughts of books also attract swarms of undead mosquitoes for no apparent reason, even in neutral or good areas. Said mosquitoes will attempt to suck said dwarves dry, but if said dwarves wake up, the mosquitoes disappear in the span of .1 millisecond or so.Everyone gets hammered if they even think of touching a book.I was deeply confused until I realized you meant hammered as in punished, not hammered as in drunk.
Also: dwarves get black-out drunk from thinking about books, for some reason.
Before said, skeeter, disaapears, a minute before the .1 ms, it will squirt a fully completed suduko puzzle on the nearest smoothed wall in alcohol laced blood droplets for the CotG to investigate.What is CotG?
have we done the suggestion of the dwarves tunneling the way they do in artemis fowl? no picks just chewing through the dirtdepending on where the dirt they’re chewing is, they can get infected with various parasites
have we done the suggestion of the dwarves tunneling the way they do in artemis fowl? no picks just chewing through the dirt
have we done the suggestion of the dwarves tunneling the way they do in artemis fowl? no picks just chewing through the dirtDwarves who engage in this activity are eventually able to spew gravel at will as a breath weapon. However, doing so causes severe internal damage. Furthermore, military dwarves spew gravel at all times, especially when civilians are nearby. Have !!FUN!!.
have we done the suggestion of the dwarves tunneling the way they do in artemis fowl? no picks just chewing through the dirtThat's a blast from the past (literally, if memory serves). I remember the neighbour's kid lending me those books a few years ago (tit-for-tat with me lending him some Pratchetts, at least one valuable copy of which I never got back). Interesting concepts. Even more interesting were the hidden codes incorporated into the books, that you could easily miss or dismiss.
When a dwarf crafts an artifact, every single entity in the world makes a claim on it.Furthermore, all those entities keep fighting each other for said artifact(s). And you, of course.
The ring comes in boxes of Dwarfi-o-s. Cereal shaped and flavored on the theme of DF. Its random and only 10% if the boxes have one. its 35.99$ each box.And in place of colourful marshmallows there should be bits of rock and metal.
Each bee hive runs and requires its own fort management mini-game, complete with jobs, orders, random events, and resource management.
BEE FORTRESS, it's like Dwarf Fortress but smaller!The less skilled the beekeeper at the is, the more random disasters will take place, such as parasite infestations
Forgeries:i actually really like that idea. the quality can span the range of qualities, at most, it's a perfect masterwork replica except for one single component. also some dwarves become obsessed with crafting replicas, and you can't melt/sell/destroy the fakes even if they're low quality without them tantrumming.
Once an artifact is made, dwarves all over the world will start making cheap replicas which are hard to distinguish from the originals. Museums will be filled with fake copies.
Bee fortresses can suffer from colony collapse disorder (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colony_collapse_disorder).
FTFYsomeall dwarves become obsessed with crafting replicas, and you can't melt/sell/destroy the fakes even if they're low qualitywithout them tantrumming.
Dwarves with CCD will go to other forts and bite fort members, thus transmitting the CCD to them.Bee fortresses can suffer from colony collapse disorder (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colony_collapse_disorder).
Dwarf fortresses can suffer from colony collapse disorder: Sometime after you choose a baron, random chance of every non-noble dwarf just up-and-leaving, a reverse migration wave.
Dwarves wear beards made of bees (beeards) that allow them to function as hives. Eventually, all dwarves in a fortress will have beeards; bees from different beeards can start fights, and they'll attack anything that attacks their dwarf. None of this makes them immune to stings, and if immersed in water, the bees will drown, making the dwarf beeardless and turning them despondent.Furthermore, beearded dwarves will attempt to forcibly make any non-beearded intelligent creature (has [CAN_LEARN]) have a beeard.
Furthermore, beearded dwarves will attempt to forcibly make any non-beeardedFTFY.intelligentcreature(has [CAN_LEARN])have a beeard.
This includes bees, resulting in recursive beeards that lead to madness for all who bear witness. (Especially bears. That goes without saying.)While bee beards are compulsory, bear arms are merely allowed and not forbidden (even though they can be messy). Though some dwarves treat their Right To Bear Arms as effectively compulsary, anyway.
The problem I see with bees having beeards is that the host bee might get crushed by the surrounding bees, oh nope that’s something else, it would be lots of bees linking together, am assuming other creatures of similar sizes will simply be forced to link up with the bees due to the fact that a beeard would significantly limit, say a wasp host’s flight ability.It's not a problem if the bee's beeard is smaller than the bee, this also has the side affect of leading to smaller and smaller bees!
If your hemp stockpile catches fire, the resulting smoke will make any dwarves who breathe it extremely relaxed and massively increase their hunger. It has similar effects on other sapients, too; a clever builder could weaponize it, forcing invaders to walk through hemp smoke clouds and watching as the pacified army wanders off the map in search of snacks.If this happens when elves are around they'll eat your dwarves and each other.
Dwarves turn into elves.That's like.... you know, I have to report you to the FBI now.
In order to increase frame-rate and simplify path-finding, I have the following proposal:They already are, in my forts!
That dwarves be treated like vermin.
Implement the economy with a fully-functional stock market system. Dwarves can now get rich by investment trading.Am curious how such a thing would work lacking Internet, one would have to send caravans of currency to and from other areas
Probably the same way it worked in the 20s.Implement the economy with a fully-functional stock market system. Dwarves can now get rich by investment trading.Am curious how such a thing would work lacking Internet, one would have to send caravans of currency to and from other areas
Implement the economy with a fully-functional stock market system. Dwarves can now get rich by investment trading.
Implement the economy with a fully-functional stock market system. Dwarves can now get rich by investment trading.
Dwarves should be able to mine cryptocurrency by digging through walls of math using pickaxes.laughter
Walls of math (and walls of other thoughts too) spawn around dwarves that are pondering,Implement the economy with a fully-functional stock market system. Dwarves can now get rich by investment trading.
Dwarves should be able to mine cryptocurrency by digging through walls of math using pickaxes.
Dwarven bankers can loan monkey to cryptocurrency miners.Fixed it for you.
Monkeys shall be the sole currency available, and it shall be used in exchange, generating other monkeys.This, of course, results in constant inflation, so after every transaction, the buying power of a single monkey diminishes.
To simplify things, some industrious bankers might create strips of papers to symbolize monkeys, but, each time they print these, other monkeys are created.
The monkeys, it should be said, can get fed up with all thisFixed for you.monkeybusiness, and decide to fuck off en masse into the wilds,never to be seen again.returning on horseback, guns at hand ready to conquer the df world.
I would fear roving bands of monkeys riding horses more than I have ever, ever feared goblins.The monkeys, it should be said, can get fed up with all thisFixed for you.monkeybusiness, and decide to fuck off en masse into the wilds,never to be seen again.returning on horseback, guns at hand ready to conquer the df world.
“Take your stinking beard off me, you damned dirty dwarf!”
Suggestion, instead of at year 0, the game starts world-genning at -65 million years and all sentient races haven't evolved yet (mammalian, avian and reptile precursors). At year 0, it checks whether dwarves evolved or not, and if not, it rejects that world and starts genning the 65 million years again, because the world has to have dwarves.
4yrs ago Toady did that. History seed has a prehistory, aswell. Watched it close back then. It was to pre age, the Megabeast:Dragon. Takes 1000yrs for them to mature. I think game goes backwards as far as that, but my memory from 4yrs ago, is very sketchy.
but plump helmets aren't vegetables, they're fungi
I feel there should be a special message displayed when your fortress gets killed by undead wagons.
I feel there should be a special message displayed when your fortress gets killed by undead wagons."Your fortress has been scuttled."
A combination of the Tyranid/Genestealers and Jason And The Wheeled Warriors..?
Only if you can enter a 1st-person driving mode too...A flight sim in Excel? If it’s the Excel I’m thinking of, this is unlikely
(They had a flight-sim easteregg in Excel ?97?, so we can have this in DF.)
Nope, it is true (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Easter_eggs_in_Microsoft_products#Office_97), though I'm guessing it's before your time.I didn’t know that, that’s cool
(Dwarf Fortress used to have a basic 3d visualiser built-in, as well, which was no Stonesense but was charming in its own way. I don't know if there are still remnants of it left in the code, but deactivated a number of (sub)versions ago, IIRC.)
I feel there should be a special message displayed when your fortress gets killed by undead wagons."Your fortress has been scuttled."
The game mocks you every time you launch the game if you're not running it on an i9-10900K (or whatever the latest and greatest Intel processor is now). The game will also show a mega announcement every 15 minutes telling you that your hardware sucks if the previous condition is met.If your FPS ever drops below 60, the game starts spawning massive waves of migrants and animals that mill around the map while dropping random objects from seemingly-bottomless inventories. As your game grinds to a halt, the message feed just keeps repeating "git gud, casul".
Dwarf fortress has a 3d viewer built in, but it still uses ascii to display it in XNA effects.Better: The game should make full use of your system's graphics capacity to render the game's original ASCII icons in glorious 3D, complete with shadows & other ray-tracing.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
And shit loads of lens flare!Dwarf fortress has a 3d viewer built in, but it still uses ascii to display it in XNA effects.Better: The game should make full use of your system's graphics capacity to render the game's original ASCII icons in glorious 3D, complete with shadows & other ray-tracing.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
While multi-scale would be hard to do for that, what would be more workable would be to just spawn a copy of DF for every creature. For example, a specific dwarf would have a version of DF running that modeled their entire body as 3D tiles, with blood cells and parasites etc all being modeled.Any in-depth healthcare work such as surgery opens this as a minigame as well
While multi-scale would be hard to do for that, what would be more workable would be to just spawn a copy of DF for every creature. For example, a specific dwarf would have a version of DF running that modeled their entire body as 3D tiles, with blood cells and parasites etc all being modeled.this sounds amazing
as does thisWhile multi-scale would be hard to do for that, what would be more workable would be to just spawn a copy of DF for every creature. For example, a specific dwarf would have a version of DF running that modeled their entire body as 3D tiles, with blood cells and parasites etc all being modeled.Any in-depth healthcare work such as surgery opens this as a minigame as well
(If you have a supercomputer.)While multi-scale would be hard to do for that, what would be more workable would be to just spawn a copy of DF for every creature. For example, a specific dwarf would have a version of DF running that modeled their entire body as 3D tiles, with blood cells and parasites etc all being modeled.this sounds amazing
That reminds me of Chef Boyardee and then I wondered what Dwarf Boyardee would put in his canned pasta.
Add MREs to the game, they provide no happiness when eaten and some kinds make the person that eats them sad because they are so nasty.
Bin Fortress, its bins all the way down.
Have you not seen stacked bins before? :PI have, they’d be making a tower the more there are, and it assumes the bottom is smaller than the top. I for some reason was basically thinking of a cube with one face removed
This is a fair point. I think all dwarven constructions are cube-based, at least by default.Have you not seen stacked bins before? :PI have, they’d be making a tower the more there are, and it assumes the bottom is smaller than the top. I for some reason was basically thinking of a cube with one face removed
Dwarf scholars can use bins to create other universes.
Inside these universes, other scientises could use bins to create universes.
Finally, the universe where we play is contained inside a bin.
Dwarves are allergic to circles, so all dwarven construction uses squares this includes wheels and gears.Circles aren’t the only round shape (https://youtu.be/6MhD2xZVypo)
In future DF the dwarves develop conspiracy theories, including the Round Worlders.
They'll also refuse to be hospitalized under the belief that any sort of medical care will give their children autism.
In future DF the dwarves develop conspiracy theories, including the Round Worlders.
There are many different possible world shapes, but people in those worlds can potentially believe it is any possible shape.
Butchering the world turtle will cause negative long-term environmental effects, which most dwarves will deny having anything to do with their continued harvesting of its shell.
This is a stack of 5.3 x 1040 World Turtle Roasts. The ingredients are minced world turtle meat, minced world turtle fat, minced world turtle meat, and minced plump helmet.Butchering the world turtle will cause negative long-term environmental effects, which most dwarves will deny having anything to do with their continued harvesting of its shell.
"I only took one eye!" says Urist, hauling a 9×1013 kg prepared world turtle eye.
This is a stack of 5.3 x 1040 World Turtle Roasts. The ingredients are minced world turtle meat, minced world turtle fat, minced world turtle meat, and minced plump helmet.
This is a stack of 5.3 x 1040 World Turtle Roasts. The ingredients are minced world turtle meat, minced world turtle fat, minced world turtle meat, and minced plump helmet.
They only used 1 plump helmet for the whole stack.
--snip--
--snip----snip--
Butchering the world turtle will cause negative long-term environmental effects, which most dwarves will deny having anything to do with their continued harvesting of its shell."I only took one eye!" says Urist, hauling a 9×1013 kg prepared world turtle eye.
In addition to world [creature]s, some worlds may generate as plants (like the World Tree) or even fungi.
If the world generates as a brewable plant, dwarves can brew it into World Booze.
Drinking this will allow one to embark on a Spirit Quest and visit other planes of existence.
Let's be honest, though: if a World Turtle existed, we'd all ask the same three questions we ask of any animal in this game. In order:
1--Can we kill it?
2--Can we train it for war?
3--Can we get it drunk?
Let's be honest, though: if a World Turtle existed, we'd all ask the same three questions we ask of any animal in this game. In order:
1--Can we kill it?
2--Can we train it for war?
3--Can we get it drunk?
4--Can we put it in magma?
Does that mean exploding volcanoes are the world turtle having diarrhea?
Great Turtles have little turtles, upon their backs to swim,
And little turtles have lesser turtles, and so on at a whim.
And the Great Turtles themselves, in turn, upon Greater Turtles are seated,
While these again have Greater still, and Greater still, repeated.
Monkey McMonkey monkeys the monkey's right upper monkey with his -monkey bone monkey-. The monkey monkeys off in a monkey.
Monkey MonkeyMonkey monkeys monkey monkey's monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey -monkey monkey monkey-. Monkey monkey monkeys monkey monkey monkey monkey.
FTFY
Something something "Planet of the Apes" reference.
All things can be replaced with monkeys.
Battles quickly escalate into fractal combats between the various monkeys that have sailed off in an arc.Do to the amount of monkeys getting thrown around wars never end and only get exponentially bigger until the entire planet is a massive unending war.
Battles quickly escalate into fractal combats between the various monkeys that have sailed off in an arc.Do to the amount of monkeys getting thrown around wars never end and only get exponentially bigger until the entire planet is a massive unending war.
Do to the amount of monkeys getting thrown around wars never end and only get exponentially bigger until the entire planet is a massive unending war.Slaves to Armok: God of Blood Chapter II: Dwarf Fortress: Battle For The Planet (Literally) Of The Apes
If a suggestion is terrible enough it gets implemented in real life.Truly terrible suggestions get implemented in the baseline reality of the superintelligent AI which is currently simulating us to see what kind of terrible suggestions humans produce.
+++ Exception overflow in module world.politics.youknowwhere on processing list-data PANDEMIC_RESPONSE_OPTIONS; Error code: 0xC0 \/ ID:19 +++...Yes, the humans in power seem to be making terrible decisions, almost like they don’t know how to run the countries they rule...
[Remembers that DF regards player input as being of questionable judgment, by default]+++ Exception overflow in module world.politics.youknowwhere on processing list-data PANDEMIC_RESPONSE_OPTIONS; Error code: 0xC0 \/ ID:19 +++...Yes, the humans in power seem to be making terrible decisions, almost like they don’t know how to run the countries they rule...
A forgotten beast that is miasma and gets into everything.
Real-time linguistic drift.
During worldgen, words in languages for each civilization have a random chance of accumulating, losing, or changing letters. This is also reflected in all tramsleted text, to fhe pont whar it beclms imposple to endelstud antong me fhe gamm.
Imagine thousands of micro dwarves building micro fortress, and fighting micro wars on your body, and that sounds like the itchiest thing I can think of.probably, in all likelihood they’d dig at you and take pieces of you, you’d have to get rid of them before they continue this, eventually turning your body into a giant flesh fortress after defeating/assimilating into their culture all of the opponents. The process will be very painful
I wonder if they'd count as parasites?
After your body becomes a flesh fortress the micro dwarves can take over your body and use it to seek out people to spread micro dwarves to them.Imagine thousands of micro dwarves building micro fortress, and fighting micro wars on your body, and that sounds like the itchiest thing I can think of.probably, in all likelihood they’d dig at you and take pieces of you, you’d have to get rid of them before they continue this, eventually turning your body into a giant flesh fortress after defeating/assimilating into their culture all of the opponents. The process will be very painful
I wonder if they'd count as parasites?
When a siege arrives and a player decides to wait behind a locked gate, sometimes this should result in the invaders igniting a bonfire and then igniting any flammable constructions they can access, including doors and raised gates.No, that actually sounds extremely reasonable and is also why you build castles out of stone. What are you some kinda elf?
The game slowly but inexorably changes the person playing it into 'some kinda elf'. There is no cure. Nor any benefits.The game also slowly makes everyone that doesn't play it hate elves.
That's why sand is so irritating when it gets in everything, it's actually microscopic bearded men with axes feebly hacking at you.
If a human infected with nanodwarves dies and has nanonecromancers there is a chance they might bring their human host back to life as a zombie.Thus we have the foundations of Dwarven germ theory.
If a human infected with nanodwarves dies and has nanonecromancers there is a chance they might bring their human host back to life as a zombie.Thus we have the foundations of Dwarven germ theory.
Achronal extradimensional entities that can move while the game is paused, but only if nobody is looking at them. This also includes you, the player. They will sneak around the fortress, murdering your offscreen dwarves from behind when you are not watching, and turn into indestructible statues when they are visible on your screen or when an in-game creature is looking at them. The only way to kill them is to trap them in a cave-in, but this requires you to either watch them at all times or assign someone else to watch them, and since units tend to look around randomly you would need a lot of citizens to do the job.This sounds like an SCO, sadly I can’t remember which one since it’s been some years since I read it.
This sounds like an SCO, sadly I can’t remember which one since it’s been some years since I read it.(Pretty much exactly a WHO (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weeping_Angel), actually.)
Every single series of fictional universe is available to apply as a Mod.
As a separate suggestion: propaganda. Interest groups can put out materials that function like a persuasive argument in favor of a particular worldview or ideal; witnessing these can convert an individual to hold that mindset.
Elf visitors to your tavern should be required to eat other visitors.
[claps hands] Oh, splendid!
As a separate suggestion: propaganda. Interest groups can put out materials that function like a persuasive argument in favor of a particular worldview or ideal; witnessing these can convert an individual to hold that mindset.
"This doesn't impact specific ethics yet, so you won't have to worry that an elf-written book will make all your dwarves start eating dead bodies, but such a thing is now threatened for a later date by these changes. "
-Devlog from 7/25/15
Elf visitors to your tavern should be able to eat other visitors.
Dwarf Fortress needs an update. Dwarf Bunker is about you overseeing a community of doomsday preppers and the construction of their new underground utopia.
I was under the impression all forts were doomsday bunkers waiting for the inevitable doomsday to ether come to it or be created by it.
there is a mobile game where you manage a vault, it’s 2D,3D(sprites can move past other sprites), there’s exploration, I can’t remember the name right now since it’s been a while since I played it. I’l, post the link to it when I figure it out or PM you the link to said gameDwarf Fortress needs an update. Dwarf Bunker is about you overseeing a community of doomsday preppers and the construction of their new underground utopia.
Vault Manager sounds like a good spin-off for Fallout.
Remember kids: a good fortress is a bunker, a great fortress is a tomb!
there is a mobile game where you manage a vault, it’s 2D,3D(sprites can move past other sprites), there’s exploration, I can’t remember the name right now since it’s been a while since I played it. I’l, post the link to it when I figure it out or PM you the link to said gameDwarf Fortress needs an update. Dwarf Bunker is about you overseeing a community of doomsday preppers and the construction of their new underground utopia.
Vault Manager sounds like a good spin-off for Fallout.
Make all dwarves one punch man but with the added bonus of them not being able to control their power so everything they touch explodes into gore.That's just the regular population of Australia in TF2.
Replace all air with random terrain and vice versaNew Forgotten Beast breath: projectile that, on impact, creates an n-diameter sphere of an effect that inverts anything in the sphere
Remember kids: a good fortress is a bunker, a great fortress is a tomb!
Annnd Imma sig that.
Every tick, there is now a 1/100 chance that all alcohol on the map will turn into magma and vice versa.[eyes magma sea with malicious intent]
Magma [DOES_NOT_EXIST]D:
Everything [DOES_NOT_EXIST]. The DF interface is now a blank spreadsheet.Welcome to DIY Fortress! You want an elaborate fantasy world simulator? Make it yourself, lazy bones!
This thread is for suggestions, not current features, guys.
Cats need to adopt owners faster. And kittens need to set up ambushes and scratch random people and animals that come within striking distance. My kitten does this all the time it's for realism.
Dwarves now require light to do anythingFixed it for you.undergroundat all. Also miasma is now flaming.
Beans now cause dwarves that eat them to emit miasma and magmaFixed it for you.intermittentlyconstantly, which then catches fire.
Also to balance the addition of overpowered ways to defend against the weather, rain and sunlight cause much more stress, instantly driving insane any unprotected dwarf.
Parasols.
No more sunshine vomit!
Just like the other "men" made out of substances like "magma men" and "fire men" there are also men made out of every kind of booze. So you could have "finger millet beer men" or "gutter cruor men." If they are killed, which is quite easy, they turn into a unit of the liquor they are made of, which immediately falls onto the floor. If they are attacked with or exposed to fire, they catch on fire and explode.Sorry, this is the terrible suggestions thread. You seem to be in the wrong room, because that would be great. :P
Multiply by Mothra, then take its modulus by Rodan.
Subtract Dwarves.Divide by 0.
Just like the other "men" made out of substances like "magma men" and "fire men" there are also men made out of every kind of booze. So you could have "finger millet beer men" or "gutter cruor men." If they are killed, which is quite easy, they turn into a unit of the liquor they are made of, which immediately falls onto the floor. If they are attacked with or exposed to fire, they catch on fire and explode.
Add a playable Booze man civilization, but you have to deal with dwarves that act like vampires and drink your citizens.This is a Silver Chalice. On the chalice is an image of a Booze Man and a Dwarf. The image depicts the death of King Cherry Wine at the hands of Urist McGuzzles the dwarven baby in 846. Urist is punching Cherry Wine. Cherry Wine is screaming. Urist is drinking Cherry Wine. Urist is laughing.
Instead of just raining random animal blood, evil regions sometimes have rainfalls of whole live animals.
if it rains whales you also have to contend with it raining bowls of petunias.Instead of just raining random animal blood, evil regions sometimes have rainfalls of whole live animals.
It actually sound like a good idea, especially if whales and elephants are falling.
I would suggest forgotten beasts and demons raining on sites.
I think it sometimes rains "filth", which isn't anything specific, but some people head-canon it as shit.
Sometimes dwarfs will wander through your territory who appear to be avoiding work or military service. You can choose to subject them to arbitrary hastle through your duly appointed Sheriff/CotG, such as dragging them back to the side of the map when they try to visit the tavern, imprisonment with menaces and cutting off their beards.
Every now and then, you'll find out that this dwarf is a veteran military dwarf and you'll find your escalated efforts to punish them turning into an unfair fight in the landscape surrounding your fort, with traps you didn't create causing problems for any militia unit you might send against them and (if you persist) possible destruction of various sections of your fort and undodgable ranged damage on your Sheriff, etc.
Trees should be generated made out of random materials, such as piss.I think it sometimes rains "filth", which isn't anything specific, but some people head-canon it as shit.
It's pretty straightforward - there are two kinds of "filth" in the game files, one is yellow and liquid and the other is brown and solid.
Terrifiying biomes that are specially corrupted end up having scary features like skull shaped lakes, mountains and cliffs.That is a terrible suggestion. It'd leave virtually nothing left of this sort for the habitual relandscaper to do for themselves... ;)
- Left-Right (in the political sense where far-Left and far-Right bend round and join up again, behind you where you can't keep an eye on them).
All creatures become materials and vice versa.
Actually needing a specific, scare mineral to make magic sounds kind of cool.
unicorns would have it in their horns
Frodo: Heart; Sam: Earth; Gandalf: Light; Legolas: Wood; Gimli: Stone; Aragorn: Fire; (<- or vice-versa? ->) Boromir: Ice; Merry: Wisdom; Pippin: KnowledgeAnd with their powers combined they can summon Captain Planet?
Captain Sauron. Well, his eye-beam, mostly.Frodo: Heart; Sam: Earth; Gandalf: Light; Legolas: Wood; Gimli: Stone; Aragorn: Fire; (<- or vice-versa? ->) Boromir: Ice; Merry: Wisdom; Pippin: KnowledgeAnd with their powers combined they can summon Captain Planet?
Plants give hints as to what lies beneath them.
Unfortunately, they're very vague, they whisper so you can miss what they say unless it's really, really quiet, and you have to be an elf to understand them.
Have a possiblity for a civilized race to start out as "Insiders".isn't that just dwarves
Members of these civilized races would have adverse reactions to being outdoors, such dwelling on being caught in the rain, as well as severe reactions to sunlight (up to and including profusely vomiting all over the place).
Dwarves that always have maximum cave adaptation.Have a possiblity for a civilized race to start out as "Insiders".isn't that just dwarves
Members of these civilized races would have adverse reactions to being outdoors, such dwelling on being caught in the rain, as well as severe reactions to sunlight (up to and including profusely vomiting all over the place).
thicc pineapplesEverything in game including animals, dwarves, things created by your dwarves, stone, magma, and pretty much everything else has a chance to be a thicc version of itself.
I'm imagining something like a bollock dagger, butthicc pineapplesEverything in game including animals, dwarves, things created by your dwarves, stone, magma, and pretty much everything else has a chance to be a thicc version of itself.
I'm not sure what the THICC modifier would do but it probably do something sexy maybe, I'm not sure what a ☼THICC steel short sword☼ would even look like.
Carp tools, capable of manipulating sentience.Cow tools, capable of manipulating fans of The Far Side.
carp are amphibious and HUNGRYCarp can swim, walk, and fly; they can breathe air and water, as well as any other liquids; they are immune to fire and magma, cannot be atom-smashed, and cannot be frozen; they have two sets of redundant backup organs, breathe procgen syndrome dust, and are opposed to all non-carp life.
In Adventure Mode, a full set of sound effects representing what your character hears is introduced, but it's relative to the direction that your character is pointing. So if you hear people talking on the right, that means your character is hearing them talk on their right, not your top-down viewpoint's right. The control scheme and camera position are not at all changed to reflect this.I honestly see no problem with either of these.
Alternately, Adventure Mode is now first-person, with the control scheme changed to match. To maintain its turn-based nature, it basically becomes SUPERHOT; time stops completely until you start moving or doing something that would consume time.
(https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/562689234033442826/757713998400454716/buff.png)carp are amphibious and HUNGRYCarp can swim, walk, and fly; they can breathe air and water, as well as any other liquids; they are immune to fire and magma, cannot be atom-smashed, and cannot be frozen; they have two sets of redundant backup organs, breathe procgen syndrome dust, and are opposed to all non-carp life.
Now you will know why you fear thenightrivers.
I'm totally going to try this now. Summoning interactions on clean-self usage, from raining goopInstead of just raining random animal blood, evil regions sometimes have rainfalls of whole live animals.
It actually sound like a good idea, especially if whales and elephants are falling.
I would suggest forgotten beasts and demons raining on sites.
Add work to farmers workshop: process to seeds with selectable details which type of seeds to process. This work must do HERBALIST.this is the terrible suggestions thread. that actually sounds like a good idea. to be a terrible idea, it would have to be like the jewelers workshop where you have to select which one
Add selectable details to still, where we may select which fruit/plant brew to drink.
Make dwarves taller than humans.This, but keep their average volume the same. Long, skinny stick-dorfs.
How do you know that dwarfs aren't already taller than humans? All we have is volume of the creature, and simple descriptors saying they're tall / short for a dwarf. Every dwarf could be a stalk reaching the sky and every elf could be wider than they are tall and we would never know.
How do you know that dwarfs aren't already taller than humans? All we have is volume of the creature, and simple descriptors saying they're tall / short for a dwarf. Every dwarf could be a stalk reaching the sky and every elf could be wider than they are tall and we would never know.
There's a line from the elven diplomat that makes fun of the dwarves' height.
Elves now gaslight dwarves on a variety of subjects. Dwarves should be grateful that elves shared their invention of magma with them.
To optimise pathfinding, all tiles are now discrete points with no connections to any other points.To optimise pathfinding, entities now just teleport to their destinations. Encumbrance, lost limbs, and other factors know just affect the length of their teleportation cooldown.
How do you know that dwarfs aren't already taller than humans? All we have is volume of the creature, and simple descriptors saying they're tall / short for a dwarf. Every dwarf could be a stalk reaching the sky and every elf could be wider than they are tall and we would never know.
And what about the different sizes for clothing?That's just done to make it harder on the player, but also dwarves wouldn't be caught dead in elf clothing as its beneath them.
To optimise pathfinding, all locations have been compressed into a singularity occupying zero volume.To optimize pathfinding, pathfinding is removed from the game.
That's just done to make it harder on the player, but also dwarves wouldn't be caught dead in elf clothing as its beneath them.
Dwarves are now scared of sex and get bad thoughts when ever anything that has to do with sex is mentioned his includes children and dwarves.the worst thoughts are thoughts about sex matching their orientation. this also extends to all reproduction.
Make Siege Operators able to get special "moods" to create their own, randomly generated, !!FUN!! war machines. So instead of just having your boring catapults and ballistas, now you have huge, boulder throwing, multi-launching catapults that can be dragged by horses. Or your ballistic flame-arrow throwing hawchas and two-cannon operating, dwarf powered tanks.
Make Siege Operators able to get special "moods" to create their own, randomly generated, !!FUN!! war machines. So instead of just having your boring catapults and ballistas, now you have huge, boulder throwing, multi-launching catapults that can be dragged by horses. Or your ballistic flame-arrow throwing hawchas and two-cannon operating, dwarf powered tanks.
Make Siege Operators able to get special "moods" to create their own, randomly generated, !!FUN!! war machines. So instead of just having your boring catapults and ballistas, now you have huge, boulder throwing, multi-launching catapults that can be dragged by horses. Or your ballistic flame-arrow throwing hawchas and two-cannon operating, dwarf powered tanks.
You seem to have the wrong thread...
In addition to mugs, dwarves demand straws when consuming drinks. These can only be crafted from specific types of grass, are single-use, and decay rapidly once made. Dwarves will drop used straws wherever, cluttering up your fort.
Machicolations. Fortifications, but from above!a. This thread is for BAD suggestions.
Dwarves drop things down grates then try to seek out thread and bubblegum to hilariously fish out the wrong items over and over again.
Add an Eclipse moment in which the Gods associated with corruption, death and anger appear and let several forgotten beast get loose.
Dragons may come in masse and burn the entire planet to the point of making it a giant desert.
I'd be fine with that, because it would in all likelihood still come out on Itch.
Bay12 does a DMCA to Itch. All profits from Epic store fund Toady'snewcrackteam of litigious lawyers.
Also the most common tree, and fastest-growing, in every biome is sock trees that produce an endless supply of socks.
There's a chance for giants to spawn in the stone, massive deposits of meat and bone and organ tissue stretching across z levels.
i was just checking to make sure ;)There's a chance for giants to spawn in the stone, massive deposits of meat and bone and organ tissue stretching across z levels.
I'm pretty sure you have the wrong thread.
You could totally do that now. Make a "meaty" inorganic layer (or large cluster) that appears in sedimentary or alluvial environments and has additional meaty/bony inclusions and veins.Words can't describe how much I would love procgen "meat biomes". We're already partway there with evil zones!
but would it be in the shape of a giant? or would it be slices scattered through the layers?You could totally do that now. Make a "meaty" inorganic layer (or large cluster) that appears in sedimentary or alluvial environments and has additional meaty/bony inclusions and veins.Words can't describe how much I would love procgen "meat biomes". We're already partway there with evil zones!
On the 28th of Sandstone, the dead rise from their graves and start dancing. Skeletons popping out and jamming to some music. Farmers are taken by moods and carve various plants with faces and light them up with candles. Cooks will prepare delicious meals with sugar and give it to dwarven children. Necromancers rise their dead friends for a night. Werewolves don't attack people for once.And all foods are filled with pumpkin spice.
It'd be like one of those displays where they slice a human cadaver into layers so you can see it in cross-section, but all stacked vertically. Like this: http://thescienceexplorer.com/brain-and-body/dead-body-sliced-5000-times-create-virtual-humanbut would it be in the shape of a giant? or would it be slices scattered through the layers?You could totally do that now. Make a "meaty" inorganic layer (or large cluster) that appears in sedimentary or alluvial environments and has additional meaty/bony inclusions and veins.Words can't describe how much I would love procgen "meat biomes". We're already partway there with evil zones!
And all foods are filled with pumpkin spice.
The game is now developed with the main target group of nazis, anti-vaxxers, flat-earthers and similar folks in mind.
The game is now developed with the main target group of nazis, anti-vaxxers, flat-earthers and similar folks in mind.
I wouldn't be surprised if Bill Gates plays DF, though.
But I guess the financial situation would look different then.
I wouldn't be surprised if Bill Gates plays DF, though.
But I guess the financial situation would look different then.
THIS GAME IS FUNDED BY THE BILL AND MELINDA GATES FOUNDATION
I wouldn't be surprised if Elon Musk plays Dwarf Fortress.When he's taking a break from playing Kerbal Space Program... Because he has to plan his Mars colony, as well as how to get himself there.
-Medicine is a joke, any exposure to pathogens is a terrible idea and most doctors are butchers.
Dwarves now have six fingers per hand.Goblins now have eighty fingers and eighty toes. Dwarves who fight goblins will usually end up hacking and bashing at these instead of anything more vital.
Ballistas have a chance to fire backwards into the dwarves manning them.
Implementation of Dark Elves (or Drows) who despise trees and sculpt their castles onto mountains. The Elves would beg the dwarves to fight them to protect all friends of nature.You can send armed "negotiators" to drow to force them to limit their excavation of rock and hunting of Underground wildlife. If you succeed, every dwarf in your fort will be amused (strong positive thought).
Elf parts left lying around after a battle sprout elf trees that fruit elves. Elf trees cannot be cut down because it would be butchering a sentient.At least the elves would be good meat shields for when invaders show up, but that would lead to more elf parts and more elf trees which would lead to more elves, and eventually the entire surface would be covered in millions of FPS killing elves.
Healthcare has to be paid for and a doctor guild that spams petition to increase the price will always be founded the moment you have at least one doctor.
"Blob" forgotten beasts split into two half sized blobs, when hit by any weapon. Those half sized blobs have the same characteristic.
Drows are more likely to be at war with Goblin and Elven civilizations, and adore to bring some war trophies back. They may sell legendary war artifacts to dwarves, such as ;Implementation of Dark Elves (or Drows) who despise trees and sculpt their castles onto mountains. The Elves would beg the dwarves to fight them to protect all friends of nature.You can send armed "negotiators" to drow to force them to limit their excavation of rock and hunting of Underground wildlife. If you succeed, every dwarf in your fort will be amused (strong positive thought).
In return, your fort occasionally gets visited by Pac-Man, a Grue, Leisure Suit Larry and a whole armada of Space Invaders. Often simultaneously.
"Blob" forgotten beasts split into two half sized blobs, when hit by any weapon. Those half sized blobs have the same characteristic.
Elves hybridize with everything. Theyre the slutty dnd dragons of dwarf fortress.
This is canonically where all the animal people come from
Slutty dnd dragons?The best kind of DND dragons.
What alignment are Slutty Dragons? Chaotic Promiscuous?Slutty dnd dragons?The best kind of DND dragons.
As far as I can tell, only chromatic dragons are technically allowed to be Slutty Dragons, so they're actually always Good and some are even Lawful.What alignment are Slutty Dragons? Chaotic Promiscuous?Slutty dnd dragons?The best kind of DND dragons.
Lawful good, following that law of attraction. ;D
Breast feeding guilds:
Dwarves go through the difficulty of breastfeeding, but a guild of mothers can be formed to help provide milk, advice, or emotional support. Any children born without this support network might die, and mothers rack up negative thoughts. Unfortunately, since you need more mothers to found the guild, and not having the guild gives mothers bad thoughts, the guild is almost always populated by violent tantruming dwarves.
You're right - it's clearly over the line. This is the terrible suggestions thread. Not the great suggestions thread.Which why I say "the thin line", because while I'm not against more body realism/and overhaul of pregnancy, I fear that this could be taken to a certain extreme that *some specific minorities of people might not enjoy*. Not that I wouldn't complain about a randomly generated dwarf waifu, but clearly, this isn't everyone's thing.
Dwarves go through the difficulty of breastfeeding, but a guild of mothers can be formed to help provide milk, advice, or emotional support. Any children born without this support network might die, and mothers rack up negative thoughts. Unfortunately, since you need more mothers to found the guild, and not having the guild gives mothers bad thoughts, the guild is almost always populated by violent tantruming dwarves.
Dwarves can eat sand.
Sand tiles now constantly create more sand tiles.Dwarves can eat sand.
I foresee a problem there, unless Toady One changes the game so as that sand tiles no longer create infinite amounts of sand.
Don't you start.
Dwarves can eat sand.
I foresee a problem there, unless Toady One changes the game so as that sand tiles no longer create infinite amounts of sand.
Sand tiles now constantly create more sand tiles.Dwarves can eat sand.
I foresee a problem there, unless Toady One changes the game so as that sand tiles no longer create infinite amounts of sand.
Sand tiles now constantly create more sand tiles.Dwarves can eat sand.
I foresee a problem there, unless Toady One changes the game so as that sand tiles no longer create infinite amounts of sand.
"51 fat dwarves cured."
something that goes "That's one raindrop... That's two raindrops. Three raindrops! Mwahaha!!! (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Count_von_Count)
Every world has a npc that can act like a player in every other game. Whenever he would die, he can simply reload the last time he saved (Pray he saves often). Or when he is caught trying to steal one of your artifacts. He is completely spoiled regarding the position of every artifact and spends most of his time powerleveling by killing all megabeasts. Depending on his character he may also use cheats.
Implementations of MacGuffins; artefacts that are so important to the order of the world (of its well-being), that anybody in the generated world wants to possess them. Destruction or acquisation of said MacGuffins can have disastrous effects on the world.-An arrow that allows anyone shot with it to controll a single ghostly wizard
Such powers and effects could include, but not limited to :
- A Time stopping goblet
- A Mind Manipulating crown
- A book that teaches the ultimate secrets of life and death
- Magic Swords stuck in stones that make you the king of some kingdom
- The body part of a god
- A summoning book of ancient forgotten powers
- A mask that makes anyone an overpowered vampire
- A ring
- A "fifth" Elephant
- A power to counter any other power
- A ridiculously sized dragon-slaying weapon
- A ridiculously sized dragon
- The "Hearth" of the world
- A giant mech meant to destroy said world after a conflict within a counsil
- A giant crystal that gives life
- A giant enemy spider
- A wheel of time
- A throne made of swords
- A sword made of thrones
- An almighty tree-hugging hippie
- The sole magic artefacts of the planet
- Something something a chosen one something something
-An arrow that allows anyone shot with it to controll a single ghostly wizard
-An arrow that allows anyone shot with it to controll a single ghostly wizard
-A completely normal slice of bread that everyone thinks is an artifact that holds the universe together.-An arrow that allows anyone shot with it to controll a single ghostly wizard
A cat that makes whatever owner it picks omnipotent and immortal.
Certain dwarves will write manga.
Dwarves will make anime from manga.
Some dwarves will consider any anime crafted to be a masterwork.
A mime.Mimes spread a syndrome that causes anything that comes into contact with them into more mimes.
Wrestlers guild are now more likely to be used for entertainment. Wreslters will organize "fake" matches against each other, and invite other dwarves or beings from other civilizations to participate to the DWWT; the Dwarven World Wrestling Tournament
To Clarify examples of what I'm getting at:
Workshops should/could have a "tech tree" dependent on the amount of equipment and tools you put into them.
I think some of the mods might do this, or something like it, already, through various RAW manipulations.
The basic goal is to allow, or test for, the sorts of complications that could occur if/when workshops are reconfigured as zones, as well as by allowing for a greater sense of roleplay to occur by having your fortresses production less focused purely on exporting =<<+Pond Turtle Shell Figurine+>>= 's (ringed with groundhog bone).
This "tech tree" would obviously change gameplay and have detrimental effects on backwards compatibility, at least at first but what is backwards compatibility anyway in a game like DF.
Thinking about the changes necessary
-->Craftsdwarf Workshop:CARPENTRY-Opens up as soon as you have an adz, or an axe, and either building material or a table.Spoiler (click to show/hide)MASONRY!Spoiler (click to show/hide)Spoiler (click to show/hide)
A mystical and mythical character that appears in folks art like songs and stories etc. but has no reference in legends but still being completely real. sometimes it pops up in random places and makes your dwarves shit their pants. Nothing can stop it. Unless you get rid of all mentions. The more mentions the more powerful it becomes.
Wrestlers guild are now more likely to be used for entertainment. Wreslters will organize "fake" matches against each other, and invite other dwarves or beings from other civilizations to participate to the DWWT; the Dwarven World Wrestling Tournament
Dwarves are sometimes pyromaniacs and will start random fires wherever flammable material can be found, sometimes putting it out but often letting it spread. This gives them a good thought, and a strong need to start fires that if not fulfilled will result in them attempting to set other dwarves on fire.
Wrestlers guild are now more likely to be used for entertainment. Wreslters will organize "fake" matches against each other, and invite other dwarves or beings from other civilizations to participate to the DWWT; the Dwarven World Wrestling Tournament
Dwarves are sometimes pyromaniacs and will start random fires wherever flammable material can be found, sometimes putting it out but often letting it spread. This gives them a good thought, and a strong need to start fires that if not fulfilled will result in them attempting to set other dwarves on fire.
They prefer to set their beards on fire, making them especially despised.
A mystical and mythical character that appears in folks art like songs and stories etc. but has no reference in legends but still being completely real. sometimes it pops up in random places and makes your dwarves shit their pants. Nothing can stop it. Unless you get rid of all mentions. The more mentions the more powerful it becomes.
Wrestlers guild are now more likely to be used for entertainment. Wreslters will organize "fake" matches against each other, and invite other dwarves or beings from other civilizations to participate to the DWWT; the Dwarven World Wrestling Tournament
Sometimes they hit the other wrestler from behind with a chair. If a stone throne is used, this results in an instant kill. Otherwise, the target is paralyzed for life.
Wrestlers guild are now more likely to be used for entertainment. Wreslters will organize "fake" matches against each other, and invite other dwarves or beings from other civilizations to participate to the DWWT; the Dwarven World Wrestling Tournament
Sometimes they hit the other wrestler from behind with a chair. If a stone throne is used, this results in an instant kill. Otherwise, the target is paralyzed for life.
Some wrestlers will take products to have more muscular mass, and in some cases they might murder their families nbefore killing themselves.
Elven caravans sometimes bring a kind of pipe weed with a pungent aroma which causes dwarves to become unproductive and say "wow" and "groovy" a lot. This substance is illegal to possess.If your dwarves smoke too much of it, they turn into elves.
Anything that gets caught in the smoke from this also has a chance to turn into an elf.Elven caravans sometimes bring a kind of pipe weed with a pungent aroma which causes dwarves to become unproductive and say "wow" and "groovy" a lot. This substance is illegal to possess.If your dwarves smoke too much of it, they turn into elves.
goblin sabateurs now plant green gunpowder in elven trade caravans' weed bags, since they're too stoned to notice.Fixed it for you.
Sometimes, your dwarvesexplode and burn to deathbecome goblins when they try to light up.
I want music!
I want my mayor not able to fall asleep without some lulling lute playing in the background. I want dwarfs in neighbouring quarters not able to sleep because of the racket. I want instrument playing professions, talents. I want travelling orchestras and choirs. I want poets and poems written down in books. I want battle songs increasing morale of dwarves charging the enemy. But most of all I want tavern full of dwarves impulsively break into drinking songs.
Hmm...
Dwarves experience the nightmare that is working in a grocery store as there is a cap on the number of songs allowed to exist in any world - 8. The same 8 songs play over and over again, dwarves start off liking them, slowly dislike and then hate them, and slowly start to like them again as madness sets in around the fortress.
Fun fact - male characters, if hit in the lower body and unarmored, can be hit with a "gelding strike" - causing them to be infertile from then on.OOOOWWWW! MY PAINIS!
Change the game entirely to serve its newer, better challenge mode: Build rockets from stock parts.late, but i know i've made this suggestion before ;D
Refocus off dwarves, not noted for their love of open space, never mind the outer kind, and onto a more pliant core civilisation.
Obviously you'd need to rename it "Kobold Space Program".
The above, except, instead of "manga", "magma".i made a post on tumblr to the effect of "maybe i should just fill my library with magma" and didnt tag it DF and someone asked if i meant manga
Dwarves can now go into moods and craft Descriptive Books, which allow them to travel to other worlds and found forts there. They have yet to figure out how to craft Linking Books, so once they use the Descriptive Book they're gone.A mystical and mythical character that appears in folks art like songs and stories etc. but has no reference in legends but still being completely real. sometimes it pops up in random places and makes your dwarves shit their pants. Nothing can stop it. Unless you get rid of all mentions. The more mentions the more powerful it becomes.
Awesome idea. Really. It could work in some worlds where ideas create reality. So people would invent their spirits and gods and they would really start to exist. People create worlds by writing. Anyone remember the Myst and Riven games?
I want music!this is the terrible suggestions thread
I want my mayor not able to fall asleep without some lulling lute playing in the background. I want dwarfs in neighbouring quarters not able to sleep because of the racket. I want instrument playing professions, talents. I want travelling orchestras and choirs. I want poets and poems written down in books. I want battle songs increasing morale of dwarves charging the enemy. But most of all I want tavern full of dwarves impulsively break into drinking songs.
In order to confuse people we should post all good ideas in this thread and all the terrible ones DF Suggestions.
If your fort isn't up to the standards of some dwarves they can leave while yelling that they're going out to build their own fort with black jack and hookers.
Hedgehog men are hostile towards all histfigs who are legendary in at least one skill related to engineering and wear red clothes.
Four philosophers join each fortress as combine noble-position holders. They demand exactly four forks to be created, four plates and one huge vessel of spaghetti that gets placed on their communal table. They then each try to eat.
If your fort isn't up to the standards of some dwarves they can leave while yelling that they're going out to build their own fort with black jack and hookers.With random tavern game and nobles.
Dwarves engrave their original hedgehog men characters on the walls of the fortress, and sometime in darkened and seldom used corners of the fortress they engrave porn of their original hedgehog men characters.
Some dwarves will now believe that the world is round.FTFY, because you forgot that DF worlds are always flat.
Some others will prove that it is flat.
The reality is that they're just a bunch of characters on a flat screen and the ones who realize that are doomed to go insane.
Going to the end of a world will cause you to teleport to the other side of it.
Checkmate, flatheads
Going to the end of a world will cause you to teleport to the other side of it.
Checkmate, flatheads
TFW you go to a glacier to find the exact place where the pole is and suddenly you eleport to the other side of the world and drown in the ocean.
TFW you try to go around the world to prove that it's round but end up starting a glacier forest retreat.Going to the end of a world will cause you to teleport to the other side of it.
Checkmate, flatheads
TFW you go to a glacier to find the exact place where the pole is and suddenly you eleport to the other side of the world and drown in the ocean.
Should've waited for boats
Implementation of giant and miniature dwarves. Giant dwarves will be unique 2x2 creatures living in huge fortress not made for normal dwarves or normal anything. They're also building destroyers and are willing to destroy castles to satisfy their strange moods.If a dwarf collects enough miniature dwarves he can build a terrarium, place them inside and allow them to build a miniature fortress and plan to kill the dwarf that captured them.
Miniature dwarves are very very very very very very very small individuals fond of industry and ale and forge items with mini-forges. Their fortress are so tiny, you can't even see them in the game unless you happen to place your cursor on it. Dwarves will be tempted to adopt one as a pet, much to the displeasure of the little thing.
If a dwarf collects enough miniature dwarves he can build aOnce a mini-dwarf hive has grown to at least 100 mini-dwarves & has at least two mini-barons, it can be split to establish a new mini-dwarf colony. All colonies can be periodically harvested for small quantities of mini-dwarf mead.terrariumhive, place them inside and allow them to build a miniature fortress and plan to kill the dwarf that captured them.
The generated world is a giant dwarf.And that dwarf lives in a world that is also a giant dwarf, and that dwarf lives in a world that is also a giant dwarf, and that dwarf lives in a world that is also a giant dwarf, and that dwarf....
Make "candy" into actual candy and make weapons made from it fragile, but also make dwarves prefer candy weapons over all others and refuse to use anything made from anything else.
Replace the "Clowns" of the "Hidden fun stuff" with actual clowns and a circus. Upon digging too deep, the DF Theme radically changes to Entry of the Gladiators by Julius Fucik.They still rule over goblins. Goblin acrobats, bards and joke book writers.
New material: sucronium, made from dwarven sugar at a smelter. One bag of sugar yields one wafer of sucronium, which can be forged into items twice as strong as their adamantine equivalents, with only marginally more weight. It is, however, also cookable, and your chefs will prioritize it over every other ingredient in your fortress.Make "candy" into actual candy and make weapons made from it fragile, but also make dwarves prefer candy weapons over all others and refuse to use anything made from anything else.
My first days in the DF community, people mentioned a FB made of candy and that it was unkillable. I, unaware of spoilers, just assumed candy was bugged to be super hard. I couldn't figure out how to make candy though.
The cultural differences between the nobles and regular dwarves are even more noticeable.
While nobles will buy weird and bizarre art for the sake of it, regular dwarves will attempt to understand it and critcize it. Nobles just wanted nice decoration, and a middle finger to the "poor".
Nobles only eat "expensive cuisine", which mostly consist of plates that are extremely small but look pretty. Meanwhile, regular dwarves are more interested by the taste and the texture of the food they eat.
Nobles only drink wine. And not just any wine, high quality wine. Regular dwarves just drink because they like it.
Nobles like to corrupt for their own amusement, or to get away from the law. Regular dwarves corrupt for personal reasons or business.
Nobles set up elections to make dwarves believe they have a choice. Regular Dwarves know about this and don't seem to care unless a game-changing dwarf appears. Said game changing dwarf will, if elected, eliminate all nobles.
Eventually new Nobles will arrive and re-do the cycle.
The cultural differences between the nobles and regular dwarves are even more noticeable.All nobles except the major must now be lizard men with a false dwarf identity.
While nobles will buy weird and bizarre art for the sake of it, regular dwarves will attempt to understand it and critcize it. Nobles just wanted nice decoration, and a middle finger to the "poor".
Nobles only eat "expensive cuisine", which mostly consist of plates that are extremely small but look pretty. Meanwhile, regular dwarves are more interested by the taste and the texture of the food they eat.
Nobles only drink wine. And not just any wine, high quality wine. Regular dwarves just drink because they like it.
Nobles like to corrupt for their own amusement, or to get away from the law. Regular dwarves corrupt for personal reasons or business.
Nobles set up elections to make dwarves believe they have a choice. Regular Dwarves know about this and don't seem to care unless a game-changing dwarf appears. Said game changing dwarf will, if elected, eliminate all nobles.
Eventually new Nobles will arrive and re-do the cycle.
Animal people can now request that your dwarves catch them a specific fish or bug. They can have your dwarves to deliver a present to another animal person. Each animal person has a unique word they use at the end of each sentence, beardy.The broker will also ask for most new dwarves to pay a rent.
Engravers and Stoneworkers can now interact with criminals, either by engraving them or smoothing them.They smooth and then re-engrave their brains to get rid of all those bad, unacceptable crime-thoughts.
https://wiki.lspace.org/mediawiki/RetrophrenologyEngravers and Stoneworkers can now interact with criminals, either by engraving them or smoothing them.They smooth and then re-engrave their brains to get rid of all those bad, unacceptable crime-thoughts.
An announcement will pop up for every murder and say "Urist McMiner has been hit by, has been stuck by, Moldath KillerDwarf"Engravers and Stoneworkers can now interact with criminals, either by engraving them or smoothing them.They smooth and then re-engrave their brains to get rid of all those bad, unacceptable crime-thoughts.
Toady should add the ability to lobotomies dwarves as a way to fix their psychotic and troublesome ways, while doing this has a small chance to fix the problem it has a much higher chance to kill the dwarf or to leave it with only the ability to haul stuff.
I thought this was the terrible suggestions thread. Also lobotomies have a chance of entirely re-rolling the dwarf's personality a la Phineas Gage.Toady should add the ability to lobotomies dwarves as a way to fix their psychotic and troublesome ways, while doing this has a small chance to fix the problem it has a much higher chance to kill the dwarf or to leave it with only the ability to haul stuff.
This would become the default treatment for every noble.
Toady should add the ability to lobotomies dwarves as a way to fix their psychotic and troublesome ways, while doing this has a small chance to fix the problem it has a much higher chance to kill the dwarf or to leave it with only the ability to haul stuff.
This would become the default treatment for every noble.
Or the guests so they'll stop stealing the artifacts.Toady should add the ability to lobotomies dwarves as a way to fix their psychotic and troublesome ways, while doing this has a small chance to fix the problem it has a much higher chance to kill the dwarf or to leave it with only the ability to haul stuff.
This would become the default treatment for every noble.
Or POWs.
Dwarves are unable to craft a specific item, embark with a wagon, trade, apply diplomacy, create furniture, carve fortresses in the earliest years of your fortress, because they haven't been invented yet!
Dwarves are unable to craft a specific item, embark with a wagon, trade, apply diplomacy, create furniture, carve fortresses in the earliest years of your fortress, because they haven't been invented yet!
More seriously, technology tree would be interesting to simulate in Legends mode, and we could have societies where industrial revolution could begin and other without agriculture.
(Everyone knows that you get rid of gravity by getting rid of air...)
If we can't do that, we need a new material: Cavorite.
Build a cavorite fortress upon a single lever-linked pillar (after careful haulage, perhaps tied onto wheel barrows, and no open-to-sky stockpiles) and pull it. Not a cave-in, but a cave-out (/up).
Damn dirty apes should be added to the game as a playable race.Aren't those just humans though?
Make all things toggleable in the world-gen menu. Remove the fast world gen.
DF should now spend several hours generating history for the world, then immediately throw it all out when finished and make everything up as you play.
Some websites do this. To give the impression the results you got were really worked hard on, Or that security things are not taken lightly.
Add Florida Man.
There is now a small chance worldgen will spit out a planet that consists entirely of intensely hot swamps and grasslands bordered by stormy oceans. These worlds have high savagery throughout, a bias toward evil, and higher spawn rates for crocodile- and alligator-related creatures and animal people. Additionally, the only clothing produced consists of sleeveless cotton shirts, shorts, socks, and sandals, and the only booze available is beer, which is drunk out of tinAdd Florida Man.
Dwarves now do all the stupid shit florida man/woman/teen does. The presence of alligators or cave crocodiles on the map accelerates this behavior exponentially.
-snip-
["The DF Rap"]
I dont see why you couldn't do that. The only possible issue would be making them want your bananas specifically but you could just make bananas stupidly valuable. Kinda like how you can mostly deal with Kea by leaving out "offerings" of spiky wooden balls.
Dwarves will be able to sell propane and propane accessories.Propane is made of dwarf juice.
The ice caps expand over the course of a world's first decade. By Year 9 all life is mere fossils trapped within the maw of the frost that had enveloped the planet.Oooh, snowball-worlds!
Giant giant mosquitoThe ice caps expand over the course of a world's first decade. By Year 9 all life is mere fossils trapped within the maw of the frost that had enveloped the planet.Oooh, snowball-worlds!
Actually, I like that. We could also have Carboniferous worlds where high atmospheric oxygen levels cause insects to become huge and enable the spread of continent-sized wildfires.
Forget giant versions of everything we need Godzilla sized versions of everything.The godzilla giant elephant is called a miniature giant elephant
-.. .-- .- .-. ...- . ... -- .- -.-- ..- ... . -- --- .-. ... . - --- -.-. --- -- -- ..- -. .. -.-. .- - . .. -. -.-. .- ...- . .-. -. ... ... - --- .--. --. --- -... .-.. .. -. ... .-.. .- -.-. -.- .. -. - . .-.. .-.. .. --. . -. -.-. . ..-. --- .-. -- --- .-. ... . ... - --- .--. .... ..- -- .- -. ... ..- ... . -- --- .-. ... . -. --- - .- ... ..-. .-.. ..- . -. - .-.. -.-- ... - --- .--. . .-.. ...- . ... - .... .. -. -.- -- --- .-. ... . ..- ... . .-.. . ... ... ... - --- .--."DWARVESMAYUSEMORSETOCOMMUNICATEINCAVERNSSTOPGOBLINSLACKINTELLIGENCEFORMORSESTOPHUMANSUSEMORSENOTASFLUENTLYSTOPELVESTHINKMORSEUSELESSSTOP"
The ice caps expand over the course of a world's first decade. By Year 9 all life is mere fossils trapped within the maw of the frost that had enveloped the planet.
HOTTERThe ice caps expand over the course of a world's first decade. By Year 9 all life is mere fossils trapped within the maw of the frost that had enveloped the planet.
Worlds being cursed by deities to be turned into ice/lava/flood/whatever is a good suggestion; cataclysms being included in world gen is also a good one, such as worlds being hotter/colder/wetter than normal.
SearingHOTTERThe ice caps expand over the course of a world's first decade. By Year 9 all life is mere fossils trapped within the maw of the frost that had enveloped the planet.
Worlds being cursed by deities to be turned into ice/lava/flood/whatever is a good suggestion; cataclysms being included in world gen is also a good one, such as worlds being hotter/colder/wetter than normal.
COLDER
WETTER
DRYER
Dwarves will grow personal attachment to ambiguous fictionnal women with infantile behavior and squeaky voices who speak in a language they don't understand. Said dwarves would have very, very poor social skills, most likely to be lonely, refuse to work, and spend their money buying more art representing the woman they worship.All deities are replaced with these entities after 1960.
Some other dwarves will criticize this lifestyle and behavior, but will likely be ignored due to the [ADDICTION] tag attached to worshipping dwarves.
Wandering merchants may come to your fort and give your dwarves some weird products. Such as magical masks, magic lamps, lamp oil, ropes, bombs, "hearts", wool, weapons, wood, ammunition and some strange looking "pills". The merchants would always appear in convenient places. They would be seen walking in the desert, near evil biomes infested with zombies, in some long forgotten caves, or inside immobile caravans.Merchants now only accept rubies in trade
Broker dwarves will empty the banks, fill your fortress with banks, and make a bank-running operations with his banks."...but Urist, weren't some of those banks?"
"Lemme tell you boys something about the secrets of life and death."Broker dwarves will empty the banks, fill your fortress with banks, and make a bank-running operations with his banks."...but Urist, weren't some of those banks?"
Just as evil regions can rain blood, slime and filth, good regions can be generated as candy-themed. Gumdrops and syrup rain from the sky and trees are edible - not the fruits, the trees themselves. These areas can be inhabited by candy people and animals.The candy next to the fun stuff is actual candy. Weapons and armor made out of it are as tough as currently, but dissolve in rain. Also they can be eaten. So you have to keep other dwarves away from your military lest they eat their weapons and armor.
When a dwarf child reaches the age of 12. The child and the child's father will have a meeting. In this meeting the father will explain to the dwarf child about the birds and bees."...so y'see, son, bees are good cuz they make honey, which makes mead. But birds are a mixed bag. Most of the ones we keep are good, what with the meat and the eggs, and that covers your chickens, ducks, geese--"
So...I'm very much here for DF having absurd JRPG weapons.
Basically, Toady One should implement new "Fashionable" weapons and armor, that provides no real benefit (and often a detriment) to the user except to be "Fashionable" and boost the player's ego. Perhaps, services could exist to modify (e.g. by adding skirts to swords, for example) existing gear for the new fashions (maybe ruining said gear in the process).
Add Potions.
And Potions that are too strong for beasts, let alone men.
Add Potions.
And Potions that are too strong for beasts, let alone men.
Elven Communism, Dwarven Neo-Liberalism, and a Dwarven-Elven Cold War between a Marxist-Leninist civilization and a Capitalist civilization. Instead of Nuclear Bombs, we have Necromancer Books. This war inevitably leads to either an age of the elf or a peace treaty which in turn causes, several decades later, a situation where two groups, one a bunch of casual worshippers of a popular dwarf religion, the other a mix of normal elves and dwarves that value nature, start writing very short and very bad books about topics related to the dwarven-elven cold war in libraries noone else ever visits while also refusing to contribute to society in any way at all.ftfy
"The Dwarves Have Dug Too Deep! Horrendous Screams Echoing From The Deep, The Dwarves Are Unable To Stem The Vile Onslaught And The Denizens Of The Underworld Now Roam The Surface. This Is A Dark Time For [WORLD_NAME]"
Demons will appear in the world as normal animals would, a fortress militia or adventurer will be able to assault the fortress in an attempt to seal the breach.
Once the militia or adventurer fought though the hordes of demons to reach the breach they will have to perform "The Ultimate Sacrifice" once performed the militia or adventurer will automatically be walled in with the demons and become food for them, The fortress will be abandoned and the dwarven civilizations will send out a new expedition to found another fortress.
Some dwarves refuse all orders and instead go out and randomly mine, claiming to be searching for something called "kripto." If it is found, it randomly fluctuates in value. Dwarves who do this will incessantly preach about its virtues and convince other dwarves to abandon their duties too. Enough "kripto" mining will generate enormous amounts of heat and start fires and even turn rock into magma. Whenever the value of "kripto" depreciates enough, the affected dwarves will turn pink and start screaming, with blood running down their faces.
Adventure mode is in first person. Text is still ASCII. Prepare to be utterly lost
Squares can now be occupied by only 1 standing and 1 prone creature. Anything more would be ridiculous.We also must respect the size of the creature in the tile, so no more standing on the same tile as a dragon or that obese horse.
Any meat, including hams, can be steamed."Urist, the fortress is on fire!"
It sometimes causes aurora borealises.
Half-ghosts can switch between ghostly and living at will.
FTFYHalf-ghosts can switch between ghostly and living at will.
They switch between ghost and living randomly while tantruming. If they're inside a wall when they become living, they get atomsmashed. If they're in a tile with a non-prone creature when it happens, both of them fuse into a single creature, usually resulting indeathhorrific chimeric entities.
FTFYFTFYHalf-ghosts can switch between ghostly and living at will.
They switch between ghost and living randomly while tantruming. If they're inside a wall when they become living, they get atomsmashed. If they're in a tile with a non-prone creature when it happens, both of them fuse into a single creature, usually resulting indeathhorrific chimeric entitiesa toad.
FTFYFTFYFTFYHalf-ghosts can switch between ghostly and living at will.
They switch between ghost and living randomly while tantruming. If they're inside a wall when they become living, they getatomsmashedturned into liquid giblets, which saturate the tile they get stuck in, so goblet saturated [tile name]. If they're in a tile with a non-prone creature when it happens, both of them fuse into a single creature, usually resulting indeathhorrific chimeric entitiesa toad.
FTFYFTFYFTFYFTFYHalf-ghosts can switch between ghostly and living at will.
They switch between ghost and living randomly while tantruming. If they're inside a wall when they become living, they getatomsmashedturned into liquid gibletsexploding into gore,which saturate the tile they get stuck in, so goblet saturated [tile name].If they're in a tile with a non-prone creature when it happens,both of them fuse into a single creature,it usually ruesultsresultingindeathhorrific chimeric entitiesa toadtelefraging.
Romance can occur between ghosts and living creatures.
Monarchs are now guaranteed to haunt a few random on-duty soldiers shortly after dying. They prioritize ones who are busy guarding burrows.Blood contaminent does not wash off hands of murderers, and the ghosts of dead leaders haunt their guilty replacements just before their own battles.
New designation: Dig without care.Wet tile cancellations still apply to the actually designated tiles
This designation will cause miners to dig carelessly, with significantly higher chances of destroying ores and gems.
In addition, there is also a significant chance that the miner(s) will accidentally mine out tiles that are adjacent (or at least “close”) to the designated tiles, but not actually designated. The probability of this happening increases significantly if the tile is the only thing separating the fortress from magma, water, a forgotten beast or titan, hostile wildlife, werecreature, invader, or other existential threat to the fortress or it’s denizens.
Make a bot that turns every Suggestion in this Forum into a terrible suggestion.
Make a bot that turns every Suggestion in this Forum into a terrible suggestion.They took our jobs!
Make a bot that turns every Suggestion in this Forum into a terrible suggestion.They took our jobs!
Only in DF's case it's not so simple as to just drop the lava on the shark first, and it always starts and ends with the HFS being broken into by a totally unprepared miner.
New type of visitors. Traveling merchants. They sell overpriced artifact cleaning wands made by their guild. Instead of just selling them to your dwarves they approach your mayor/baron/etc. and initiate diplomacy screen. You can refuse but in that case they'll just wait for couple of days and start it all over. The only ways to get rid of them is to either buy or beat/kill them.Now all visitors do this including the villains with their poorly thought out plans, and along with them bugging the mayor constantly asking to be allowed to talk to your dwarves and use the tavern they also constantly spam you with demands for all of your artifacts.
DF is advertised with inane statements like "If you can reach level 3, you are legally skilled", along with a mobile game that is nothing like DF. In some ads, DF is advertised as a choose-your-own-adventure game, with situations like "If I betray my boss, I'll get killed!", along with the choices "Murder Boss" and "Seduce Boss".https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDmUeqpTS7k
You know that actually wouldn't be a bad idea for a presentation of myth gen later on. Not necessarily blatantly starwars-esque, but showing the mythological events/figures as they occur, maybe with the option for the player to intervene at certain points. Then move on to physical world genOn a serious note, there's a huge problem with the way DF handles location names and story telling. In the sense that the way it tells the story of each nation/event is quite whack. I wouldn't be expecting a robot to make his own Lord of the Rings by any means, but really, there needs to be something done with the writing. Granted, it gives the game it charms and rewards players for being curious about the universe they generated. But at the same time, it's just... Well...
In the summer of 683, The Abbey of Destruction sent several squads to the Joy of Murder.
In the summer of 683, The Abbey of Destruction sent several squads to the Joy of Murder.
In the autumn of 683, The Abbey of Destruction sent several squads to the Joy of Murder.
In the autumn 683, The Abbey of Destruction sent several squads to the Joy of Murder.
In the winter of 683, The Abbey of Destruction sent several squads to the Joy of Murder.
In the spring of 684, The Joy of Murder was annexed by The Abbey of Destruction.
During the summer of 683, King Dodak the Third sent multiple squads to the goblin fortress of the Joy of Murder. The reason being that the fortress was a former dwarven economical center and a large forge formerly belonging to the TwinFalls, a dwarven barony. The siege is among the longest ever recorded in history, and lasted almost a year. The squads were mostly composed of marksdwarves and hammer masters, due to the fact that the Joy of Murder's militias were mostly composed of goblins poorly equiped, usually wielding short weapons. However, the Laughing Drake, the civilization in charge of holding the Joy of Murder, sent reinforcement to the fortress immediatly, thus longing the siege even more. After a decisive battle in the spring of 684, the Joy of Murder was claimed by the dwarven forces of The Abbey of Destruction, and later renamed SweetVictory by King Dodak the Third.
The Abbey of Destruction sent several squads to the Joy of Murder from the summer of 683 to the spring of 684, when it was finally conquered and renamed to SweetVictory
Yeah, "starwars intro" doesn't seem like the worst way to introduce the world's story to the player. Provided that the game can figure out which snippets are interesting enough to show, at least. :vIn 3, Urist was present in The Halls of Shambling.
Earworm men, imagine a bunch of those showing up and trying to get into your dwarves heads and eat their brains..... Oh wait dwarves don't have brains so I guess the earworm men would just starve.Earworm Men show up in your fort and replace the calm, sedate background music with upbeat, catchy-yet-annoying bubblegum pop guaranteed to get stuck in your head. Even if you drive them out, their tunes will soon be the only ones your in-house musicians want to perform.
Two words: earthworm men.Two more words: With bazookas!
Catfish can adopt dwarves. The dwarves realize too late that catfish are related to carp.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPGipwoJiOM
Instead of Ascii the game shows now the line of machine code currently executed.
Instead of Ascii the game shows now the line of microcode currently executed.
FTFY
Earworm men, imagine a bunch of those showing up and trying to get into your dwarves heads and eat their brains..... Oh wait dwarves don't have brains so I guess the earworm men would just starve.Beardworm men. They show up and eat the beards right off dwarves, causing bad thoughts.
Earworm men, imagine a bunch of those showing up and trying to get into your dwarves heads and eat their brains..... Oh wait dwarves don't have brains so I guess the earworm men would just starve.Beardworm men. They show up and eat the beards right off dwarves, causing bad thoughts.
Giant worms which tunnel into the bedrooms of male dwarves and bite off their penises while they sleep.Since DF doesn't technically implement penises as direct targets, the worms repeatedly bite the lower bodies of male dwarves until they are gelded.
Add !!Shapeshifting!! masters of darkness who unleash unspeakable :EVIL:They should also be unkillable unless you use a one of a kind magic sword, and they should be able to teleport you into the future.
This can restart worldgen, you don't get a stop button, it stops at a random amount that can be anything between the starting point and 2^32-1 years.Add !!Shapeshifting!! masters of darkness who unleash unspeakable :EVIL:They should also be unkillable unless you use a one of a kind magic sword, and they should be able to teleport you into the future.
This can restart worldgen, you don't get a stop button, it stops at a random amount that can be anything between the starting point and 2^32-1 years.Add !!Shapeshifting!! masters of darkness who unleash unspeakable :EVIL:They should also be unkillable unless you use a one of a kind magic sword, and they should be able to teleport you into the future.
This can restart worldgen, you don't get a stop button, it stops at a random amount that can be anything between the starting point and 2^32-1 years.Add !!Shapeshifting!! masters of darkness who unleash unspeakable :EVIL:They should also be unkillable unless you use a one of a kind magic sword, and they should be able to teleport you into the future.
Well considering that magic will be based around spheres, I thank Tarn everyday for not giving DF a [TIME] sphere.
Goblin shavers.They then use this hair to create beard golems!
They'll raid your fort, capture your most bearded dwarf and shave him.
Goblin shavers.They then use this hair to create beard golems!
They'll raid your fort, capture your most bearded dwarf and shave him.
The Golem Doshin Dodadorak has arrived! An amalgation of dwarven beards higher than the highest trees! Beware his deadly furry shuffles!
An Eternal Sleep curse that forces the target to sleep until the curse is broken. If cast on your adventurer, you are kicked to the regular sleeping screen, but it never ends. World events continue to be processed. You cannot exit unless your character wakes up, and there is no guarantee that the curse will ever be broken.The curse can only be cured by true love's kiss, but since adventures can't do romance there's no cure for them.
Introducing Dwarf Fortress; Darwinist edition + Atheist pack
Instead of some wacky cray cray religious creation myths, you must wait a billion years until some monkey-like fellas involve into dwarves, humans, elves and goblins. Unless dinosaurs don't go extinct.
But that would take years to simulate on your average processor! Can't we just assume the average end result from a few dozen models?
For extra DF realism arrows should disappear if they land in the grass. They are hidden and forbidden and the player cannot unhide or unforbid them. They still exist to lower your fps though.
implementation of a targe that allows dwarves to charge into enemies in a straight line. Works even better if said dwarf has a missing eye.Implementation of another shield that allows dwarves to do the same thing, but hitting someone with this shield is more likely to kill the person who was hit.
Give dwarves human rights.Play Dwarf Fortress and go directly to jail.
Send players straight to prison.
FTFYGive dwarves human rights.Play Dwarf Fortress and go directly to
Send players straight to prison.jailHell.
FTFYFTFYGive dwarves human rights.Play Dwarf Fortress and go directly to
Send players straight to prison.jailHellHFS.
The profits of DF fund the digging of a deep hole in the ground, hidden under a circus tent.If there aren't clowns in the underworld, we'll put them there!
Sounds like it's time to crack open the Kola super-deep borehole.The profits of DF fund the digging of a deep hole in the ground, hidden under a circus tent.If there aren't clowns in the underworld, we'll put them there!
A new workshop in which dead bodies are turned intoFTFYtamalesSoylent Green.
FTFYA new workshop in which dead bodies are turned intoFTFYtamalesSoylent Greendeader bodies.
"Soylent Green is people!"
Kobolds leave useless crap (http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php?title=Useless_crap) in place of the items they steal.Kobolds leave literal useless crap in place of the items thay steal.
Add furry strip clubs.
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=177694.0
Looks like people found my comment and I have an idea of how to make it better, lets enhance it by allowing every stripper represent a different fetish, also it be in HYPER REALISTIC 3D AND BE VR COMPATIBLE!"I'm gonna start my own fortress, with blackjack and hookers!"
New profession:
Dwarven “Strippers” who strip the paint off of things. Given that paint and painting haven’t been implemented yet, the strippers just hang out in your tavern.
Looks like people found my comment and I have an idea of how to make it better, lets enhance it by allowing every stripper represent a different fetish, also it be in HYPER REALISTIC 3D AND BE VR COMPATIBLE!
Looks like people found my comment and I have an idea of how to make it better, lets enhance it by allowing every stripper represent a different fetish, also it be in HYPER REALISTIC 3D AND BE VR COMPATIBLE!
Anthropomorphic airplane strippers.Oh god that reminds me of when google put something like that in an unrelated image search, and then I wonder what what would drive someone to draw something like that.
+18 Sexual InterCurse DLCDon't forget the premium dragon dildo cosmetic pack.
Add Dwarf Fortress to Dwarf Fortress.A cursory search for "Turing-complete" on the forums pulls up a design for a computer that is apparently Turing-complete. Now, since all Turing-complete computers are capable of doing all the same tasks as each other, it would theoretically (i.e with more memory than can be built on the largest embark possible) be possible to port DF to that computer. It's gonna take real-life years to even generate a tiny world with everything turned down, but it would be running DF.
But could we put a copy of Dwarf Fortress inside of it?Add Dwarf Fortress to Dwarf Fortress.A cursory search for "Turing-complete" on the forums pulls up a design for a computer that is apparently Turing-complete. Now, since all Turing-complete computers are capable of doing all the same tasks as each other, it would theoretically (i.e with more memory than can be built on the largest embark possible) be possible to port DF to that computer. It's gonna take real-life years to even generate a tiny world with everything turned down, but it would be running DF.
works the best if the dwarf's eye was taken by a necromancerimplementation of a targe that allows dwarves to charge into enemies in a straight line. Works even better if said dwarf has a missing eye.Implementation of another shield that allows dwarves to do the same thing, but hitting someone with this shield is more likely to kill the person who was hit.
Steam DF is actually just ASCII. Sike, there was no graphical update.The
Add new stone and soil layer materials made from organic materials such as flesh, blood, and pus, etc.
Dwarves that live in these creatures over many generations become parasitic and cannot exit their hostAdd new stone and soil layer materials made from organic materials such as flesh, blood, and pus, etc.
Actually, in some worlds, maybe deities could create small spaces of organic matters, and some places could even be living creatures themselves, with the soil being their flesh.
Dwarves that live in these creatures over many generations become parasitic and cannot exit their hostAdd new stone and soil layer materials made from organic materials such as flesh, blood, and pus, etc.
Actually, in some worlds, maybe deities could create small spaces of organic matters, and some places could even be living creatures themselves, with the soil being their flesh.
If they don't expel their digestive fluids they'll swell up and explode.Dwarves that live in these creatures over many generations become parasitic and cannot exit their hostAdd new stone and soil layer materials made from organic materials such as flesh, blood, and pus, etc.
Actually, in some worlds, maybe deities could create small spaces of organic matters, and some places could even be living creatures themselves, with the soil being their flesh.
Parasitic dwarves that become separated from their host exhibit incapacitating symptoms, such as explosively expelling digestive fluids and partially digested food/booze out of their booze intake orifice.
Anthropomorphic airplane strippers.Oh god that reminds me of when google put something like that in an unrelated image search, and then I wonder what what would drive someone to draw something like that.
But it was an airplane what would furry porn people be getting commissions for that for?Anthropomorphic airplane strippers.Oh god that reminds me of when google put something like that in an unrelated image search, and then I wonder what what would drive someone to draw something like that.
Commission fees are a powerful motivator for furry porn artists. Apparently people do indeed pay, so it gets drawn.
Anthropomorphic airplane strippers.Oh god that reminds me of when google put something like that in an unrelated image search, and then I wonder what what would drive someone to draw something like that.
Commission fees are a powerful motivator for furry porn artists. Apparently people do indeed pay, so it gets drawn.
But it was an airplane what would furry porn people be getting commissions for that for?People are weird. If you can think of it, at least one person has a fetish for it. No exceptions. I'd imagine that furry artists (especially the porn ones) have been commissioned for some weird fucking shit, so a sexy anthropomorphic airplane is well within their capabilities.
But it was an airplane what would furry porn people be getting commissions for that for?
Don't kinkshame me. Only furry artists can capture the texture of airplane seats.Damn those sexy airplane seats!
What’s so special about seats shaped like sexy airplanes? I just don’t understand...Don't kinkshame me. Only furry artists can capture the texture of airplane seats.Damn those sexy airplane seats!
tsunderplane intensifiesWhat’s so special about seats shaped like sexy airplanes? I just don’t understand...Don't kinkshame me. Only furry artists can capture the texture of airplane seats.Damn those sexy airplane seats!
It is possible to create portals to other saved worlds. This is accomplished by simply placing all the raws from the linked world into your current one. This is done before fixing the duplicate raws bug.
Some dwarves can one-punch anything.All goblins can one-punch anything.
Every creature in the world can one-punch anything.Some dwarves can one-punch anything.All goblins can one-punch anything.
But only if it's funny.Every creature in the world can one-punch anything.Some dwarves can one-punch anything.All goblins can one-punch anything.
Dwarves have an increased propensity to feature images of cheese in their artwork.
Everything a dwarf touches turns into another item or creature.
Giant keas steal anything. ANYTHING.
This means workshops, buildings, animals and even dwarves.
If an animal/dwarf is stolen, it brings up the message “(creature) was whisked away by a giant kea!”
They can also steal the entire fort.Giant keas steal anything. ANYTHING.
This means workshops, buildings, animals and even dwarves.
If an animal/dwarf is stolen, it brings up the message “(creature) was whisked away by a giant kea!”
They can also steal happiness, as well as the entirety of goblin xmas.
They can dig into the raws and steal whole lines of code.They can also steal the entire fort.Giant keas steal anything. ANYTHING.
This means workshops, buildings, animals and even dwarves.
If an animal/dwarf is stolen, it brings up the message “(creature) was whisked away by a giant kea!”
They can also steal happiness, as well as the entirety of goblin xmas.
You wouldn't download a car.I did that once, it was terrible.
They can steal your computer. They can steal your wife. They can steal your soul.They can steal your faith in humanity and in dwarfkind.
Replace the world with a watermelon.
You wouldn't download a car.
The human language is all rap music.
The human language is all rap music.
Oh yes, I agree. Our modern society is going back into stone age.
The human language is all rap music.
Oh yes, I agree. Our modern society is going back into stone age.
If I understood you correctly, then I would argue that rap music is not in itself a form of societal devolution. You ever heard any MF DOOM (RIP) songs, specifically Meat Grinder (https://youtu.be/ms0mes_vLk8) (Warning: explicit subject matter)? That has an intricate rhyme scheme, pushing rhymes and near-rhymes in almost every syllable, and to imply that stuff like that should be lumped in with the mainstream, popular rappers would be doing a disservice to the genre. No genre is exempt from this: every genre has bad and good examples, and usually, the popular stuff is generally on the worse side.
To blame arbitrary things on the fall of society (or similar) is a time-honored tradition.
Dwarf Fortress has a crossover with Fortnite.
Dwarf Fortress has a crossover with Fortnite.That is just evil.
Some people feel like achieving they're goals in both current modes without cheating take too long.Who??? WE MUST PURGE THE WEAK!
In order to be more realistic, tanner’s shops should be changed to constantly produce miasma.
Actually, to be really realistic, the game should include urine and feces and these should be required as reagents for the tanner’s shop along with the animal skin.
In order to be more realistic the cooks can sometimes add feces to the roasts when they're angry.Go full "The Jungle" and have cooks use everything from vermin to sawdust to old, tattered clothes as filler in meals.
I'll do you one better:
URIST
Digs In!
(Smash bros)
I'll do you one better:
URIST
Digs In!
(Smash bros)
Her signature move is disemboweling her opponents and wipping them to death with their own guts. or arms, legs, hands etc.
She also needs to be able to strangle them with their own guts as well.I'll do you one better:
URIST
Digs In!
(Smash bros)
Her signature move is disemboweling her opponents and wipping them to death with their own guts. or arms, legs, hands etc.
She can disembowel them with their own guts.
Using moves such as this makes the floor slippery with blood, imagine how difficult maneuvering will be when blood AND ice are on the stadiumShe also needs to be able to strangle them with their own guts as well.I'll do you one better:
URIST
Digs In!
(Smash bros)
Her signature move is disemboweling her opponents and wipping them to death with their own guts. or arms, legs, hands etc.
She can disembowel them with their own guts.
Using moves such as this makes the floor slippery with blood, imagine how difficult maneuvering will be when blood AND ice are on the stadium
Using moves such as this makes the floor slippery with blood, imagine how difficult maneuvering will be when blood AND ice are on the stadium
Cave adaptation provides a constant source of vomit, as well.
Final smash breaches the HFS, constantly spawning demons for the rest of the match.
Dwarven barbers migrate to your fort from non-dwarven sites.And they're all felling quite Naughty.
And the exact same think happens once every year.For at least 4 times or until the franchise is run dry
Bonus, engravers can ba assigned to engrave things on pillows, which can increase happy thoughts in a few dwarves. Especially when they are engravings of animal people, particularly cat people.These engravings can also include stylized women with massive tits, actually any engraving of women on these pillows have big tits.
First we'd need to implement breasts (and their description, such as: "She is busty, and the rest of her body is curvaceous"). And I do believe that on Tarn's big No-no list.Bonus, engravers can ba assigned to engrave things on pillows, which can increase happy thoughts in a few dwarves. Especially when they are engravings of animal people, particularly cat people.These engravings can also include stylized women with massive tits, actually any engraving of women on these pillows have big tits.
I mean, this isn't the "Most Excellent and Refined Suggestions Thread"First we'd need to implement breasts (and their description, such as: "She is busty, and the rest of her body is curvaceous"). And I do believe that on Tarn's big No-no list.Bonus, engravers can ba assigned to engrave things on pillows, which can increase happy thoughts in a few dwarves. Especially when they are engravings of animal people, particularly cat people.These engravings can also include stylized women with massive tits, actually any engraving of women on these pillows have big tits.
Every enemy creature has a 50% chance to spawn in on the map being a living steel statue.
Every creature has a 50% chance to spawn in on the map.Every in game day.
Add a mechanic which makes sure that the longer demons are on Earth, the stronger they become.
Bonus, engravers can ba assigned to engrave things on pillows, which can increase happy thoughts in a few dwarves. Especially when they are engravings of animal people, particularly cat people.Any dwarves who possess such an item can only grow a beard on their neck and are guaranteed never to reproduce.
There is an incredibly small chance that during a "cuddle session" with the pillow, that the pillow can become pregnant and give birth to a half dwarf half pillow monster.Bonus, engravers can ba assigned to engrave things on pillows, which can increase happy thoughts in a few dwarves. Especially when they are engravings of animal people, particularly cat people.Any dwarves who possess such an item can only grow a beard on their neck and are guaranteed never to reproduce.
Throwing stuff at the ground obeys Newton's laws, and can propel dwarves into space with repeated throwing.And that children was how the dwarven space agency was started.
Throwing stuff at the ground obeys Newton's laws, and can propel dwarves into space with repeated throwing.And that children was how the dwarven space agency was started.
After hearing multiple (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=177931.msg8240090#msg8240090) complaints (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=178002.msg8242478#msg8242478) about wormmen, I’ve come to the conclusion that they should be removed from the game.
Do you know more challenging intelligent animals to play?The obvious chose is dolphins, but they aren't in the game.
Divination dice always turn your wormmen into dolphins.
Divination dice always turn your wormmen into dolphins.
Divination dice have a small chance to turn everything on the continent into dolphins.Divination dice always turn your wormmen into dolphins.
Divination dice always turn your women into dolphins.
Divination dice have a small chance to turn everything on the continent into dolphins.Divination dice always turn your wormmen into dolphins.
Divination dice always turn your women into dolphins.
Artifacts have 10x value of masterworks. Reaching level legendary at a skill means mastering it.
Creatures who have legendary skill in 10 or more different subjects should receive "Artifact" title.
Adamantine should be removed from the game completely so divine metal won't be underrated anymore.
rico6822 becomes the main idea man for Dwarf Fortress.
Angels and clowns should have [MUNDANE] token.
Neutral clowns who cannot hit you with spitting will spit at you to train your dodging skill even further but will tell you that first.
Elves get the [VEGETATION] tag and are composed of plants because they love plants so much they became plants.
So you would need to memorialize the stone for the slab used to memorialize the stone for the slab used to memorialize the stone for the slab used to memorialize the stone for the slab used to memorialize the stone for the slab
They're eating her!
And then they're gonna eat me!
OH MY GOD!!
Oh, wait, that'sgoblinstrolls, not elves. Whew!
They're eating her!
And then they're gonna eat me!
OH MY GOD!!
Oh, wait, that'sgoblinstrolls, not elves. Whew!
Elves when a herd of elephants wanders on the map:
Elves can now be eaten by grazers. They keep grazers full for 5 years.
They're eating her!
And then they're gonna eat me!
OH MY GOD!!
Oh, wait, that'sgoblinstrolls, not elves. Whew!
Elves when a herd of elephants wanders on the map:
Elves can now be eaten by grazers. They keep grazers full for 5 years.
This is called "Terrible Suggestions Thread" not "Absolutely Great Super-Awesome Suggestions That Toady Should Really Implement Right Here And Now Thread".
Everything a dwarf touches needs to be memorialized.
Dwarves can use flamethrowers, but only against the dwelves
That's the first genuinely terrible suggestion in pages.Dwarves can use flamethrowers, but only against the dwelves
FTFY
Nature-loving dwarves will mate with elves to produce dwelves.
Dwarves can use flamethrowers, but only against the dwelves
FTFY
Nature-loving dwarves will mate with elves to produce dwelves.
Dwelves are universally hated by all sentient creatures.Dwarves can use flamethrowers, but only against the dwelves
FTFY
Nature-loving dwarves will mate with elves to produce dwelves.
Dwelves have all the good attributes of dwarves(metal/steel armour, martial trances, moods) and elves(at peace with wildlife, tree-hugging, having access to all aboveground animals as domesticated), while losing all bad traits except for their stuck-up attitude. Now you HAVE to obey them or risk getting roflstomped by them.
Dwelves are universallyhatedloved by all sentient creatures.
Dwelves are universallyhatedloved by all sentient creatures.
FTFY
Whenever another creature sees a dwelf, they drop everything they're doing to organize a party for them. They are left with a bad thought once the party is over, and will go insane if the party is interrupted for any reason.
This results in a chain of endless parties until someone finally throws a tantrum, resulting in everyone going insane. FBs with deadly vapors joining the party can cause problems, too.
Imagine just distracting all the clowns with a dwelve and pulling a cave in on them all
Imagine just distracting all the clowns with a dwelve and pulling a cave in on them all
And then the dwelf funeral starts...
The whole world is invited. (Even memorialized ghosts.)
DF emails all your friends and family, inviting them to attend. They, in turn, invite their friends. Somehow they all wander into your game, and are replaced by dwelves in the real world.
The Dwelfpocalypse!
Obviously the right choice is the body pillows with the sexy anime girls on them.Get a hold of yourself, weeb. It's obviously the Mini-Dwarves.
But think of all the neck beards that'll want to play the game because of them!
Also not weeb.
I also vote mini-dwarves. Mini-dwarf hives raising vermin livestock, fighting off fairies and pixies. The tiniest drama to unfold.And they need to be memorialized.
I also vote mini-dwarves. Mini-dwarf hives raising vermin livestock, fighting off fairies and pixies. The tiniest drama to unfold.
Keistering stolen artifacts would sure make fort mode investigations more interesting. And think of the expanded storage space for adventurers.
Keistering stolen artifacts would sure make fort mode investigations more interesting. And think of the expanded storage space for adventurers.
I didn't say in the game I meant on the forum and that's why its a terrible suggestion.But think of all the neck beards that'll want to play the game because of them!
Also not weeb.
Oh please, the last thing i'd want in the game is a bunch of unhealthy socialet who fantasizes on japanese comic women who all look and act the same! Let alone if they want all women to be cute girls with "big mommy milkers".
Alright
Let's do the Terrible Suggestions Awards for the 200th page
decencyAin't nobody got time for that.
OKAY SO. In celebration of 200 pages of Terrible Suggestions©, and following from suggestions made in a few recent posts, I'm going to add a poll to determine the #1 best bad suggestion thus far!
I'll be combing the past pages for ideas, but if you have a particular suggestion you think deserves a spot, either yours or someone else's, feel free to offer it up, and I'll consider those first; I'm hoping for a total of 10 options. Also, in the interest of fairness, I won't be including any of my suggestions, nor will I be voting in the poll.
I'm hoping to put this up within the next week, so get your nominations in, and thanks again for keeping this thread going so long!
Add a [sheds:<material token>:frequency] tag!
Uhmm... you do realize that only the person who started the thread can add a poll to it. You’ll have to contact them somehow (and hope that they are still active on the forums) and get them to put the poll up.But...I am the person who started the thread! Over two years ago, with my humble suggestion for a "Kick Shin" attack.
Uhmm... you do realize that only the person who started the thread can add a poll to it. You’ll have to contact them somehow (and hope that they are still active on the forums) and get them to put the poll up.But...I am the person who started the thread! Over two years ago, with my humble suggestion for a "Kick Shin" attack.
And your nomination will be taken into consideration. Thanks!
Every time a dwarf vomits, every dwarf who can see them has a 20% chance of being grossed out and vomiting as well. Past a certain population density (known as the Emetic Critical Mass), a single nauseous dwarf can kick off a self-sustaining chain reaction of barf that can persist indefinitely. Hope you like green floors!If you want it to be even worse, dwarves become hungrier and More thirsty as they vomit causing a high density chain reaction can get huge part of the fort starving.
Since im here i might as well contribute too... umm...
Dyslexia: In order to be more PC and inclusive, a sizeable portion ofdwarvesall sentient beings have dyslexia, if one of them happens to hold a position, all text related to their function (such as the health overview screen for chief medical dwarves) will have random letters swapped for others (this also includes hotkeys). The swapped letters will change every time you enter the screen.
If your adventurer is dyslexic, the entire interface will suffer from this effect.
There is no way to mod this out or alter the chance of dyslexia as it would undermine the reason why this was implemented.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
If a dwarf bites a werebeast without getting bitten back, the werebeast should be immediately cured of the curse, turn into a dwarf(from whatever it was before) and join your fortress.
doge fired arrows
Give dwarves a hitpoint bar. When it reaches 0, the dwarf explodes into giblets.
Myth&Magic update will add mana meter and turn Dwarf Fortress into stereotypical modern JRPG.
Any thing that gets to close to a dwarf explodes.
Dwarves explode when they get close to anything (including the ground).Any thing that gets to close to a dwarf explodes.
Anything a dwarf gets close to explodes (including booze).
Sentient mouse-frog hybrids that say "Uhm... Cheesed to meet you?"
Sentient mouse-frog hybrids that say "Uhm... Cheesed to meet you?"
They also tend to give out large amounts of cheese, which puts them at odds with dwarves as they wish it gave out booze and not cheese, the unbrewable laughingstock that it is.
Sentient mouse-frog hybrids that say "Uhm... Cheesed to meet you?"
They also tend to give out large amounts of cheese, which puts them at odds with dwarves as they wish it gave out booze and not cheese, the unbrewable laughingstock that it is.
Uhmm...
Somebody would like to have a word with you (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=136384.0).
Sentient mouse-frog hybrids that say "Uhm... Cheesed to meet you?"
They also tend to give out large amounts of cheese, which puts them at odds with dwarves as they wish it gave out booze and not cheese, the unbrewable laughingstock that it is.
Some humans will spread news that other humans are in fact dwarves in disguise.
In order to speed up frame rate, everything should be displayed using character number 32 (0x20). Displaying things with other characters is redundant as it doesn’t show any information that can’t be found by using ‘k’, ‘v’, ‘q’, ‘r’, ‘t’, or similar keys.
In order to speed up frame rate, everything should be displayed using character number 32 (0x20). Displaying things with other characters is redundant as it doesn’t show any information that can’t be found by using ‘k’, ‘v’, ‘q’, ‘r’, ‘t’, or similar keys.
I feel that's most of the way to blind/low-vision DF, but done in the spirit of this thread. Don't render the main view, just hook a screen reader into DF and make it read out the output of the "k", "v", and other views, and you've basically got DF for the Blind.
Some humans will spread news that other humans are in fact robots in disguise.Some humans will spread news that other humans are in fact dwarves in disguise.
Some humans will spread news that other humans are in fact elves in disguise.
Some wagons and siege engines are actually robots in disguise.Some humans will spread news that other humans are in fact robots in disguise.Some humans will spread news that other humans are in fact dwarves in disguise.Some humans will spread news that other humans are in fact elves in disguise.
The new interface will feature many deceptive icons!Some wagons and siege engines are actually robots in disguise.Some humans will spread news that other humans are in fact robots in disguise.Some humans will spread news that other humans are in fact dwarves in disguise.Some humans will spread news that other humans are in fact elves in disguise.
A new endgame scenario will feature an immense unicorn that will ingest the entire world.The new interface will feature many deceptive icons!Some wagons and siege engines are actually robots in disguise.Some humans will spread news that other humans are in fact robots in disguise.Some humans will spread news that other humans are in fact dwarves in disguise.Some humans will spread news that other humans are in fact elves in disguise.
Universicorn
Universicorn
Armok is revealed to be a towering unicorn.
Dwarves can have a preference for hickory smoked horse buttholes.They also get terribly upset if they catch you trying to substitute hickory smoked cow buttholes.
i don't know what this is a reference to and i'm not sure i want to know.Dwarves can have a preference for hickory smoked horse buttholes.They also get terribly upset if they catch you trying to substitute hickory smoked cow buttholes.
i don't know what this is a reference to and i'm not sure i want to know.Dwarves can have a preference for hickory smoked horse buttholes.They also get terribly upset if they catch you trying to substitute hickory smoked cow buttholes.
...so that’s where that came from...i don't know what this is a reference to and i'm not sure i want to know.Dwarves can have a preference for hickory smoked horse buttholes.They also get terribly upset if they catch you trying to substitute hickory smoked cow buttholes.
An old youtube poop called doctor tran. Its funny, while.youre ten years old.
One of the kids in my middle school class brought it up, but also mentioned the additional "hickory smoked bear vaginas" which im convinced he made up.
a weird octopus with a beakSo... an octopus? (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cephalopod_beak)
Plump helmet men should sometimes spawn in farm plots when farmers are harvesting, they should also havePlump helmet men should be able to make pipe bombs.switchbladeslarge daggers when they spawn so they can stab the unsuspecting farmers.
For some reason I misread that, and saw ‘so that’s where that cat came from’ and I was, quite justifiably, fairly horrified....so that’s where that came from...i don't know what this is a reference to and i'm not sure i want to know.Dwarves can have a preference for hickory smoked horse buttholes.They also get terribly upset if they catch you trying to substitute hickory smoked cow buttholes.
An old youtube poop called doctor tran. Its funny, while.youre ten years old.
One of the kids in my middle school class brought it up, but also mentioned the additional "hickory smoked bear vaginas" which im convinced he made up.
It's quite rare to find a cat up a horses' butt, yes.I don't believe you've tested this assumption enough to be sure.
The game needs to add jobs that can only be completed by the animal-man variants of aquatic creatures.
We also need to give them the toaster repair skill, as I heard toasters love being underwater and things things love to be in water with toasters.The game needs to add jobs that can only be completed by the animal-man variants of aquatic creatures.
Such as underwater basket weaving. Regular basket weaving doesn't exist.
We also need to give them the toaster repair skill, as I heard toasters love being underwater and things things love to be in water with toasters.The game needs to add jobs that can only be completed by the animal-man variants of aquatic creatures.
Such as underwater basket weaving. Regular basket weaving doesn't exist.
The game should allow players to make steam by mixing magma and water. As a reward for this achievement, the steam should immediately turn into a high value type of stone. Also, just for aesthetic reasons, magma tubes and the magma sea should be surrounded with this same type of stone....which should be microcline.
The next update turns DF into a driving simulator, cars are given the same kind of physics as mine carts.
Give DF sixteen times the detail.
Sell DF themed merch such as the delicious plump-helmet beverage of the game.
And name it 'Plump-a-cola Dark'.
Wait, is that a reference to Team Fortress 2 lore?!tf2 lore is exactly dumb enough for it to be perfect in this thread ;)
Boulders should sometimes play smooth jazz without warning.it plays when dwarves are in danger, but not consistently, and whether it plays has no correlation to how much danger your dwarves are in
Why stop there when we can also add penises, vaginas....You're reminding me of an Incident That Shall Not Be Named. Oh no.
Why stop there when we can also add penises, vaginas....And sometimes they randomly play smooth jazz.
Add GUNS! And MULTIPLAYER!! And SEX!!! And FECES!!!! And HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD!!!!! AND CARS!!!!!! TOADY PLZ READ THIS AND ADD IT SO WE CAN PLAY REAL LIFE IN DWATF FARTRESSI'm not sure how, but you somehow have succeeded in making a shit post, by the standards of a shitposting thread.
Why stop there when we can also add penises, vaginas....It's not inherently a terrible suggestion, but addition of genitalia would be superfulous within the context of DF,
You're reminding me of an Incident That Shall Not Be Named. Oh no.I think it might be a bit of a stretch to jump, from the addition of genitalia, to VIRTUAL CHILD RAPE.
I suppose a man could exhibit some properties of a musical instrument if someone were to play his instrument like a trombone.Why stop there when we can also add penises, vaginas....And sometimes they randomly play smooth jazz.
Add GUNS! And MULTIPLAYER!! And SEX!!! And FECES!!!! And HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD!!!!! AND CARS!!!!!! TOADY PLZ READ THIS AND ADD IT SO WE CAN PLAY REAL LIFE IN DWATF FARTRESS
Ever heard of satire? Just because you think it's unfunny doesn't mean you should get all pissy about it. Ignore it and move on. You're the only one making a fuss here.Add GUNS! And MULTIPLAYER!! And SEX!!! And FECES!!!! And HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD!!!!! AND CARS!!!!!! TOADY PLZ READ THIS AND ADD IT SO WE CAN PLAY REAL LIFE IN DWATF FARTRESSI'm not sure how, but you somehow have succeeded in making a shit post, by the standards of a shitposting thread.
It's not witty, It's not clever; yes all of those are terrible suggestions, and they get repeated all the time, and without clowning out. This shit is just cringe.
But then again, what more can one expect from a furry?
Likewise, if you kill a cat in adventure mode, the self-insert supergod invincible mary sue will instantly teleport behind you, and kill you with a sword.And then get on Bay12 and make a stupid thread about it. That'll show them!
Suggestion: Every time someone complains about a suggestion in this thread, Toady is legally obligated to implement it.that dumb
So DF is finally replaced with word and all features you could imagine have been implemented?I have been informed that this is called "writing a book".
So DF is finally replaced with word and all features you could imagine have been implemented?I have been informed that this is called "writing a book".
So DF is finally replaced with word and all features you could imagine have been implemented?
The source code of Dwarf Fortress is released... in a programming language that only Toady understands, in obfuscated form, and completely uncommented. No specification is given. No compiler nor interpreter is given. You'll have to infer what anything means by reverse-engineering the language based on the source code.
Sometimes dwarves paint their murals out of food, which produces miasma. Sometimes they use vomit or brown filth.Further proving that all dwarves are insane.
In Turbo Pascal!(I'm sorry... Were you supposed to be suggesting an incomprehensible computer language, there? It's actually fairly sane (and led to the (over-)popular Delphi - which probably powered half the joke[1] and amateur applications distributed in the '90s - before it had to be resurected as Lazarus), compared with others I could mention that I was also formally taught.)
IDENTIFICATION DIVISION.
PROGRAM-ID. hello-fortress.
PROCEDURE DIVISION.
DISPLAY "Hello, fortress!"
.
Some dwarves would document such fans of blue hedgehogs, and always name their work "[Name of Dwarf], The Cow of Laughter".
Special dwarves would prefer yellow mices, or yellow/blue heghehogs. They would trade personal belongings, even their family's artefacts to purchase toys from merchants. They wouldn't be good at anything, making them useless dwarves to dwarven society.
Dwarves who document these individuals are almost always farmers and have a preference either for cows or (the very adorable) kiwi birds.
Fans of Blue/Yellow hedgehogs would go on a "quest" to obtain a relationship with a dwarf of the opposite gender. Although they should always fail, there is a 1% chance they might actually win. However, there's 100% chances that they'll fail spectacularly after making ethically questionable murals that depict both dwarves in an awkward situation. Said dwarves may even attempt to dress as female dwarves to get closer to them. Much to no avail.And of course they will begin attracting dwarves who will attempt to goad or manipulate them into doing very, very foolish things for their own amusment. These attempts fail 95% of the time and will make the dwarves attempting this look like even bigger fools than the fans of Blue/Yellow hedgehogs and be mocked by the farmers for the attempt.
Eventually, such dwarves would be tagged as both [ADULT] and [CHILD]. Eventually, they would play a long game of make-believe and pretend to be a yellow/blue hedgehog.
We should combine DF and Minesweeper by giving every tile in game a 50% chance to have a landmine hidden on it.
Randomized dog and cat races.Additionally include all known races of cats and dogs and put them on top of the embark animals list
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they may also want to me raised as undead.
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they may also want to me raised as undead.
Intelligent undead? Or unintelligent?
Either, the dwarf gets to choose.So what do the dwarves wills say what they want the undead nezclaw to do, or does he just act as a guardian?
so Vicious Mockery?
Dwarves can now write wills as to what they want done with their bodies and possessions when they die, failure to follow through with that results in them haunting your fortress, and engraving a slab won't help get rid of them. also the manner in which they die changes nothing. they want their body to be interred in a masterwork adamantine sarcophagus decorated with scenes of elf murder in diamond? well i sure hope you didn't kill them with a bridge accident.
they may also want to me raised as undead.
ah the traditional fixating on the typo ;D
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they may also want to me raised as undead.
Intelligent undead? Or unintelligent?Either, the dwarf gets to choose.So what do the dwarves wills say what they want the undead nezclaw to do, or does he just act as a guardian?
Elves will condemn Dwarves for saying the K word.Kerbal?
Elves will condemn Dwarves for saying the K word.Kerbal?
Dwarves should be able to create and play board games, and if they lose these board games this should cause them to tantrum and attack who ever won the game.
Elves block the travel of dwarves and humans through the forest, demanding shrubberies.They can also say nee at anyone that doesn't give one, this also causes harm to people near by.
Dwarves with extremely high Analytical Ability can become aware that they are in a game, and actually mod the game to suit their preferences. Depending on their Focus, the scope of this modding might be limited to just their current fort, or their entire civilization, or all civs in the world . . . or even all future games prior to a full re-install. The nature of the mod is guided by their Creativity and their personality traits. A dwarf who values Eloquence might grant animals, artworks, and even plants the ability to speak. A dwarf with high Ambition suddenly becomes a noble--and perhaps then feels rather disappointed, if there's no higher rank to achieve. A dwarf with a high Lust propensity & low Decorum might choose to erase other dwarves' psychological needs to remain clothed. A dwarf obsessed with escaping death might simply choose to become immortal, skipping necromancy. A dwarf who would just as soon have nature and the great outdoors burned to ashes and converted into a great mining pit . . . you get the idea.
Dwarves with extremely high Analytical Ability can become aware that they are in a game, and actually mod the game to suit their preferences. Depending on their Focus, the scope of this modding might be limited to just their current fort, or their entire civilization, or all civs in the world . . . or even all future games prior to a full re-install. The nature of the mod is guided by their Creativity and their personality traits. A dwarf who values Eloquence might grant animals, artworks, and even plants the ability to speak. A dwarf with high Ambition suddenly becomes a noble--and perhaps then feels rather disappointed, if there's no higher rank to achieve. A dwarf with a high Lust propensity & low Decorum might choose to erase other dwarves' psychological needs to remain clothed. A dwarf obsessed with escaping death might simply choose to become immortal, skipping necromancy. A dwarf who would just as soon have nature and the great outdoors burned to ashes and converted into a great mining pit . . . you get the idea.
dwarves can and will curl up into a ball and turn into a stone wall when distressed/threatened. they remain aware of whats around them but cannot be moved or mined.continuing in this thread, dwarves can also roll through hallways like gorons, knocking everyone on their ass and congesting traffic even further.
An animated safety-pin keeps popping up with messages...Dwarves will create engravings of it on all the walls, and these engravings anger dwarves on site, even the dwarf that carved it.
"It looks like you're trying to flood your well-room..."
"It looks like you're trying to let a wild badger rampage through your hospital..."
"It looks like you're trying to spark a loyalty spiral..."
It finds it too complex to also work out "...if you'd like some help", so it just helps you do these things anyway.
Dwarves re-enact Greek tragedies in your fort, such as Oedipus Rex.isn't that kinda redundant?
Not as actors.
Criminal Dwarves have a chance of confessing to their mothers that they've just killed a man, putting a crossbow against their head, pulling the trigger and now they're dead.Criminal dwarves will sometimes confess they killed a dwarf in the Mountainhome just to watch him die, then hear a minecart rolling, hang their heads and cry.
Criminal dwarves will note that they may have discharged a crossbow into the noble currently responsible for enforcing laws, but they didn't harm anyone else.Criminal Dwarves have a chance of confessing to their mothers that they've just killed a man, putting a crossbow against their head, pulling the trigger and now they're dead.Criminal dwarves will sometimes confess they killed a dwarf in the Mountainhome just to watch him die, then hear a minecart rolling, hang their heads and cry.
Attempting to capitalize on the tremendous popularity of the millstone, the forge will now just have one reaction “Make Metal Item” which could be a weapon, could be armor...could be a lovely set of adamantine goblets!
...the game no longer allows you to embark with Mules.
Make a version of DF suitable for mobile apps by projecting the game through Isaac Asimov's science of psychohistory. In short, psychohistory posits that while the actions of a single person are ruled by choice & free will, and are thus unknowable, the overall actions of a large population can be predicted with a high degree of certainty--the larger the population, the smaller the margin of error.
Individual dwarves no longer exist--although they might be replaced with kilodwarves (k☺).
Fortresses and other sites still exist, but you cannot view them in any detail greater than the Local view window of Fortress mode's Embark screen.
Loose items such as meals, garments, mugs, etc., obviously no longer exist--instead, the contents of your fort are viewable only through the Stocks screen.
Similarly, you can control your fort only through the Manager's / Health / Justice / etc. screens.
Happily, the mobile version still has as many of the original game's menus as possible. You still need to specify which kind of wood to make the beds out of, you still need to make the order to place the beds somewhere (but you don't get to see where), you still need to use the beds to define bedrooms & then assign those rooms to the homeless parts of your fort's kilodwarf, you still need to manually determine what percentage of your kilodwarf is allowed to perform the labor of Furniture Hauling in order to place those beds, etc.
After a battle, you get to see how much of your kilodwarf was killed for running outside the fort to collect all the dropped socks.
They can also be trapped in jars and kept as pets. But if you rub the jars too much they may be released and wreak havoc on the world again.These jars can be uses as thrown weapons during sieges, there is also nothing to stop them from coming back into your fortress after they've killed everything outside.
They will not grant wishes, unless that wish is to die.
New Job: Shift managers
Autoequip whips
Are used to ensure dwarves actually comply with the new labor requirements. Much like Hammerers/Fortress Guard/Sheriff and the justice system, they punish dwarves who shirk their responsibilities. Truly lazy dwarves are chained to their workplaces. GET BACK TO WORK PEOPLE!
When ever the Shift manager is on the screen it should make the same kind of sounds as a computer does when sticky keys are on.New Job: Shift managers
Autoequip whips
Are used to ensure dwarves actually comply with the new labor requirements. Much like Hammerers/Fortress Guard/Sheriff and the justice system, they punish dwarves who shirk their responsibilities. Truly lazy dwarves are chained to their workplaces. GET BACK TO WORK PEOPLE!
They also decide when the overseer is allowed to use the Shift key.
Dwarves are at high risk for diabetes. Dwarves with diabetes love to continue eating stuff they shouldn't.
Dwarves are at high risk for diabetes. Dwarves with diabetes love to continue eating stuff they shouldn't.They will demand beverages only made from dwarven sugar and prepared meals containing dwarven sugar. If they don't get it, they will eat the entire sweet pod crop and suffer stress.
Goblin Civilizations occasionally break into song
Dwarves should be able to make crafts out of ear wax
A dwarf is a barrel of prepared dwarf brain. It's even pickled.
How would they know if you're not just playing with yourself?
How would they know if you're not just playing with yourself?The game is reconfigured to only let you play it while your playing with yourself, plus it's also multiplayer only.
All items in the game should experience wear, even furniture. Frequent use or exposure to water should accelerate wear. Dwarves should get unhappy thoughts from seeing worn furniture, requiring you to periodically replace it. Also, when machine parts need to be replaced, the machine should have to be shut down first or it should have a chance of injuring the dwarf, dependent on mechanics skill.
I’ve run into an amusingly unique problem in Archcrystal:Spoiler (click to show/hide)
That’s a well deconstructing. I couldn’t figure out why until I looked at the pieces and found what was missing. After 400 years the bucket disintegrated from wear. Now some of the workshops and such that use wooden materials like barrels are deconstructing. Just an inconvenience, but I thought it was funny when I figured out why it was happening. The spore tree beds have about 20 years or so left on them, and then I’ll have to rebuild all of the bedrooms.
How would they know if you're not just playing with yourself?
Toady One should start his own cryptocurrency, the Dorfbuck (NASDAQ symbol: DBX). Instead of being generated through data mining, users earn it through in-game dwarven mining.But can I use it to buy barrels of firefly brains and blood?
Can only be used to buy real-world cheese and wooden bins full of cheap cloth.
Snipped...
Anything else encrated then decrated, particularly mugs and jewellery, produces a 'bubble fabric' (huge amounts per item) that has no use except to distract dwarves. But maybe in a mood-enhancing way.
Toady One should implement an entire type of magic based around the use of rhyme called “Rhyme Magic”.FTFY
Why do people like you always have to show up and ruin the pun?Toady One should implement an entire type of magic based around the use of rhyme called “Rhyme Magic”.FTFY
Port the game to the NintendoGameboyGame & Watch.
Every seed is also undead and will start growing under the skin of dwarves into zombie plants.These undead plants can take over a dwarfs body making some kind of plant/dwarf hybrid zombie.
In undead Dwarf Fortress, plant humps elf!Every seed is also undead and will start growing under the skin of dwarves into zombie plants.These undead plants can take over a dwarfs body making some kind of plant/dwarf hybrid zombie.
How would they know if you're not just playing with yourself?
DF deploys a network of ceiling cats to watch DF players.
Whenever you open dwarf fortress, it automatically sends an email to your boss telling them exactly when you opened it and what computer you are running it on. A similar email is sent when you exit the program.
Protective measures against syndrome-causing phenomena can be put in place, but some dwarves with a high [PRIDE] trait will refuse them and put the entire fort at risk as a result. Get ready for everyone to become zombies because of that one jerk who said being forced to stay underground during evil weather was a violation of his freedoms as a dwarf.
Once explosions get implemented, I'd like to see beached creatures occasionally explode.This should also have a chance to happen to all corpses, especially when a dwarf is hauling it, this also causes the dwarf's stress to rise dramatically when it happens.
Dwarves can declare themselves sovereign citizens and freemen-on-the-land.
Once explosions get implemented, I'd like to see beached creatures occasionally explode.This should also have a chance to happen to all corpses, especially when a dwarf is hauling it, this also causes the dwarf's stress to rise dramatically when it happens.
Once explosions get implemented, I'd like to see beached creatures occasionally explode.This should also have a chance to happen to all corpses, especially when a dwarf is hauling it, this also causes the dwarf's stress to rise dramatically when it happens.
This should be even more likely to happen if the deceased was a noble (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_the_Conqueror).
Wait...where does it say in the article that he exploded?
The corpse was too large for the space, and when attendants forced the body into the tomb it burst, spreading a disgusting odour throughout the church.
All ardent believers temporarily gain the powers of the sphere that the deity is associated with
Example: Believers of gods of lust will increase their pick-up line game, believers of gods of caverns can summon forgotten beasts and believers of trickery become Legendary+5 Liars
To help with funding, add background bitcoin-mining software to the game, that runs all the time.
You know what else will aid in funding, a data miner that gathers all personal info on your computer and sells it to the highest bidder.To help with funding, add background bitcoin-mining software to the game, that runs all the time.
However, the bitcoin miner will still be embedded in the main thread and thus Dwarf Fortress will remain single-threaded and use only one CPU core.
Quest-giving nobles give quests by emitting frequency-modulated radio signals. Receiving quests, therefore, requires that the adventurer first acquire an fm radio (which don’t exist in the game) or make one themselves (which the game provides no way for the adventurer to do).
Quest-giving nobles give quests by emitting frequency-modulated radio signals. Receiving quests, therefore, requires that the adventurer first acquire an fm radio (which don’t exist in the game) or make one themselves (which the game provides no way for the adventurer to do).
Aside notes, would radio be able to be modded in?
Aside notes, would radio be able to be modded in?
Only AM radio.
Aside notes, would radio be able to be modded in?
It was funny hearing a peasant say "out there Boxwood Chests roam freely" or something like that.)Indeed strange. Round these 'ere parts, they're made of Sapient Pearwood. (And similarly have a tendency to go berserk...)
Everything in game can be a mimic even the walls and floors, or everything all at once.
Everything in game can be a mimic even the walls and floors, or everything all at once.
It really sucks when the ☼Cat Tallow Roast☼ that you were going to eat turns out to be a mimic and eats you instead. :(
It's all fun and games until the ☼Cat Tallow Roast☼ eats its way out of your guts.Everything in game can be a mimic even the walls and floors, or everything all at once.
It really sucks when the ☼Cat Tallow Roast☼ that you were going to eat turns out to be a mimic and eats you instead. :(
Does it? Food that tries to eat you is just about as dwarfy a meal as you can get. :P
Everything in game can be a mimic even the walls and floors, or everything all at once.
It really sucks when the ☼Cat Tallow Roast☼ that you were going to eat turns out to be a mimic and eats you instead. :(
Does it? Food that tries to eat you is just about as dwarfy a meal as you can get. :P
It's all fun and games until the ☼Cat Tallow Roast☼ eats its way out of your guts.
I hadn't thought of that, but i agree; It ain't really livin' unless everything's trying to kill ya'... I'm surprised dwarves havn't found a way to die to their beards yet...
Any time a dwarf walks within 1 tile of a powered mechanism, there should be a chance his beard gets caught. The mechanism needs to be deconstructed to free the dwarf.
Any time a dwarf has to make a decision that could affect others, an angel and a demon will spawn on top of their shoulders
Any time a dwarf has to make a decision that could affect others, an angel and a demon will spawn on top of their shoulders.
Any time a dwarf has to make a decision that could affect others, an angel and a demon will spawn on top of their shoulders.
Or to make the suggestion just that much more terrible, what the dwarf actually does is summon a random angel and demon to a tile near them (and to be clear, we're talking the gigantic, procedurally-generated death forces that guard vaults and lord over goblins respectively) which will immediately go on a rampage slaughtering and incinerating everything in their path. And yes, this happens every time a dwarf has to make a moral decision.
We should switch Dwarf Fortress from it's custom engine to use Unity.
Quote from: ror6axWouldn't it be nice to have more than 4 season music and perhaps sounds for workshops(hammers/wood saw etc)? As far as I understand it will require very simple coding (play sound.mp3 on loop when tile X is within N distance from center of the screen) but would add to perceived 'polish' of the game.
Same question as above, but animated textures(tree leaves/grass/snow). Seems easy, would look great, mostly a job for artists - what gives?
You mentioned switching engines? Could you elaborate? Do you plan to switch to something like Unity eventually?
The simple switch up to SDL2 makes the most sense first. We can't switch to anything like Unity in the time frame we are in, though eventually some switch to something is going to make sense compared to what I can do in a custom engine. It's just less and less practical to try to keep up with things on your own, especially if it's not something you're interested in (that is, programming for OSs/graphics is neat, but I prefer working on DF.)
Go FORTH or go home...
Demons made of adamantine breaking materials should destroy during historical events adamantine tunnels imprisoning them by themselves. They would roam underground at first unless they would be able to get into surface by finding an unfinished fortress or simply a natural exit out of the cavern.This causes a domino effect of demons realizing that they can break adamantine, eventually causing a demon apocalypse.
Demons made of adamantine breaking materials should destroy during historical events adamantine tunnels imprisoning them by themselves. They would roam underground at first unless they would be able to get into surface by finding an unfinished fortress or simply a natural exit out of the cavern.This causes a domino effect of demons realizing that they can break adamantine, eventually causing a demon apocalypse.
Exclusively command console interface. No graphics whatsoever. Everything else is just the same and the game goes on at the same phase. No auto messages at all. To interact with anything in the game you must write commands, this includes looking or hearing something.I don't know that's too terrible. FortressMOO, anybody?
Disallow players from creating fortresses in good, evil and savage biome because dwarven civilizations can't start there.Disallow players from creating fortresses in any biome besides mountains because fortresses can only be built there.
Disallow players from creating fortresses in good, evil and savage biome because dwarven civilizations can't start there.Disallow players from creating fortresses in any biome besides mountains because fortresses can only be built there.
Exclusively command console interface. No graphics whatsoever. Everything else is just the same and the game goes on at the same phase. No auto messages at all. To interact with anything in the game you must write commands, this includes looking or hearing something.
Because humans are confirmed in real life to be predators and are the largest "default" sapient playable race in the game, they should possess [LARGE_PREDATOR] token and [AMBUSHPREDATOR] for how cavemen used to get food. Maybe also [LARGE_ROAMING] because of survivalists.
Dwarf Fortress should be as apolitical as possible because injecting politics into video games divides gaming communities. As such there should be no Fortress Mode or any civilizations of any kind. But anarchy is a form of government as well and adventure mode should also be removed to prevent players from doing whatever they want. The game should be redesigned to be a dwarven blacksmith simulator as that would make much less work to do than what the game is planned to become.
So the games gets replaced for endless podcasts of Toady arguing with himself why he should and should not keep development of the game until we all die.
In order to prevent turtleing your fort, half of the population will reveal that they were goblin spies the entire time.
In order to prevent turtleing your fort, half of the population will reveal that they were goblin spies the entire time.
The other half will reveal that they were elves all along.
Boats should be implemented as amphibious mounts that can be ridden on.
As a temporarily solution to justify minecarts being programmed to be creatures they should possess [CAN_SPEAK], be considered magical and have their right to citizenship.Their racial language files lead to them being named things like Thômas, Edwård, Gørdøn, Perçy, Hènry, Ōlīvēr etc. The noble that was the Dungeon Master is re-added as the Rotund Coordinator.
As a temporarily solution to justify minecarts being programmed to be creatures they should possess [CAN_SPEAK], be considered magical and have their right to citizenship.Their racial language files lead to them being named things like Thômas, Edwård, Gørdøn, Perçy, Hènry, Ōlīvēr etc. The noble that was the Dungeon Master is re-added as the Rotund Coordinator.
Boats should be implemented as amphibious mounts that can be ridden on.
Wait, this isn't actually the worst temporarily solution. You have failed.
Catapults can be loaded with livestock.They already can, but only in the French version.
Boats should be implemented as amphibious mounts that can be ridden on.
Wait, this isn't actually the worst temporarily solution. You have failed.
You obviously haven’t heard about amphibious invader mounts drowning their riders…
Catapults can be loaded with livestock.They already can, but only in the French version.
Catapults can be loaded with livestock.They already can, but only in the French version.
Your dwarves have the option to taunt sieging armies instead of immediately fighting them.
A few minor impoopments:
- Wagon replaced with caac
- Add guns
- Add baby jeans
- Remove females
- Dwarves wake up with no hhhuuueɘυυυʜʜʜ Julioioioio̸͔͛h̴͇̀h̶̰͑h̸̖̆h̷̢̎h̴̼̅ḩ̷̏
Could you explain it to me then, by any chance?
Could you explain it to me then, by any chance?
Don't know where it originally started, but here's some dumbness (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GjjZacZSWT4).
Cat's unique message "this animal isn't interested in your wishes" should be possible to apply with a token.Isn't that already possible by using the tokens that cats have (like ADOPTS_OWNER, etc.)?
Cat's unique message "this animal isn't interested in your wishes" should be possible to apply with a token.Isn't that already possible by using the tokens that cats have (like ADOPTS_OWNER, etc.)?
A sheep with eight legs, two heads, four ears, two tails, eight hooves and two entirely separated bodies.if this is one sheep’s they must be connected somehow…a string of nerves connecting the, together so they share thoughts? Otherwise two bodies wouldn’t be considered the same sheep
Add Big Chungus, a giant rabbit twisted into humanoid form. It subsists entirely on carrots.
In addition to animal men (and animal men men, which I guess would be something like merfolk or centaurs) there should be "man animals", which are savage nonsapient versions of the various humanoid species that run around naked on all fours in the biomes where their civilizations would normally be found and mindlessly attack anything in sight.In addition to all of that we should add human men, like centaurs but with a human body and where the head goes is another human upper body, and creatures like that should be made for all bipedal creatures including animal men.
Manhus look like if a human tried to me like a spider
Cave Spiders have a small chance of tricking monster slayers hired by your fortress into kidnapping dwarves and bringing them to webs in exchange for not being killed by the cave spiders themselves
Cats should be building destroyers so that they can knock over statues and workshops.
Of course none of this matters because you still know exactly where you are from the map screen.Nope. The Map Screen would be replaced with one of the maps you purchased, chosen at random. In Fort Mode, any map at your fort will be in the random map pool for what map is chosen for you to view. If no maps are at your fort, or if you don’t own a map in Adventure mode, any map from the world will be chosen until a map is purchased or it arrives on your fort (depending on what mode you’re playing)
When and if this actually becomes feasible, the personality of every dwarf in your fortress should be generated from a human consciousness that's been uploaded to the cloud.
Someday, we'll all be dwarves. Whether we want to be or not.
It's all fun and games until the entire world gets taken over by necros and you keep getting killed by hair and skin.When and if this actually becomes feasible, the personality of every dwarf in your fortress should be generated from a human consciousness that's been uploaded to the cloud.
Someday, we'll all be dwarves. Whether we want to be or not.
You thought you'd take the easy way out by dying in the sim, huh? Nope! You get re-dwarfed.
...they should all use a variation of the Greenland Special (https://xkcd.com/2489/) projection (even though the worldgen output remains flat and planar).Of course none of this matters because you still know exactly where you are from the map screen.Nope. The Map Screen would be replaced with one of the maps you purchased, chosen at random. [...]
Cow man, a new type of animal person. Cow woman can be milked.As can the Cow Man, but for a different product. Which inevitably becomes essential, as well a being an expressed essence.
All things both male and female can be milked, and all resulting products can be turned onto some forum of cheese.
All things both male and female can be milked, and all resulting products can be turned onto some forum of cheese.
All tiles can be milked.The milk can be put into casts and solidified into milk versions of the tiles who they came from, these new milk versions are less durable than their “parents” and if milked, will turn back into the liquid. Hope your dwarves remember which are real tiles and which are milk counterparts
Future update stalkers should inevitably and eventually succeed at killing their killers, forcing the player to quickly replace his warriors or creating new adventurers.
FNF mod for DF.All of them are good
1st song is a dubstep remix of the intro. The second is a orchestra remix of the intro.
The third is demons screaming.
Some creatures have scales. Their descriptions should mention which scales, and where on the scale they are.uh so do the scales overlap a lot? Why are animals standing on others’ scales?
There are many weighty questions...Some creatures have scales. Their descriptions should mention which scales, and where on the scale they are.uh so do the scales overlap a lot? Why are animals standing on others’ scales?
oh those scales, I thought you meant more creatures have scales like reptile scales and the description would say where each scale was and what color each individual scale isThere are many weighty questions...Some creatures have scales. Their descriptions should mention which scales, and where on the scale they are.uh so do the scales overlap a lot? Why are animals standing on others’ scales?
Stairs are one-way, so dwarves can only go up an up stair, never down, like an escalator (and the opposite limitation for down stairs). Not sure how you’ll reach the top and bottom of properly built stairs. Guess you’ll have to use a ramp.Up/Down stairs…those exist unless they were removed from the game
Stairs are one-way, so dwarves can only go up an up stair, never down, like an escalator (and the opposite limitation for down stairs). Not sure how you’ll reach the top and bottom of properly built stairs. Guess you’ll have to use a ramp.Up/Down stairs…those exist unless they were removed from the game
Stairs are one-way, so dwarves can only go up an up stair, never down, like an escalator (and the opposite limitation for down stairs). Not sure how you’ll reach the top and bottom of properly built stairs. Guess you’ll have to use a ramp.Up/Down stairs…those exist unless they were removed from the game
Stairs actually behave like escalators and force dwarves in the respective direction. Up/Down stairs flip a coin to decide which way they go.
When any creature tries to use stairs, the stairs will move in their respective direction, without the creature, and overwrite any tile in the corresponding direction except for other stairs.I momentarily forgot which thread this was and thought you two were trying to teach how stairs worked…
Stairs are one-way, so dwarves can only go up an up stair, never down, like an escalator (and the opposite limitation for down stairs). Not sure how you’ll reach the top and bottom of properly built stairs. Guess you’ll have to use a ramp.Up/Down stairs…those exist unless they were removed from the game
Stairs actually behave like escalators and force dwarves in the respective direction. Up/Down stairs flip a coin to decide which way they go.When any creature tries to use stairs, the stairs will move in their respective direction, without the creature, and overwrite any tile in the corresponding direction except for other stairs.I momentarily forgot which thread this was and thought you two were trying to teach how stairs worked…
Trees have a chance of dropping their fruits, injuring creatures under said trees in the process
Stairs actually behave like escalators and force dwarves in the respective direction. Up/Down stairs flip a coin to decide which way they go.
If your adventure is an atheist and enters a temple there's a 50% chance they'll burst into flames upon entering.
Are you sure you meant to press "Y" [Y/N]: YOnly after 10 Y confermactions after your key press, will the game continue
Are you sure you meant to press "Y" [Y/N]: Y
Are you sure you meant to press "Y" [Y/N]: Y
Are you sure you meant to press "Y" [Y/N]: Y
Are you sure you meant to press "Y" [Y/N]: N
Are you sure you meant to press "N" [Y/N]: N
Are you sure you meant to press "N" [Y/N]: Y
Are you sure you meant to press "Y" [Y/N]: _
When dwarves complain to the mayor, they'll use your OS's built in text to speech to make sure you notice.that might actually be helpful
aeiouWhen dwarves complain to the mayor, they'll use your OS's built in text to speech to make sure you notice.that might actually be helpful
? What kind of response is that? I know what vowels are, and sometimes y falls into that category…was I supposed to finish the vowel chain with y? Think of a word that contains all 5 of the vowels you mentioned? Is it supposed to be an anagram I need to decipher?aeiouWhen dwarves complain to the mayor, they'll use your OS's built in text to speech to make sure you notice.that might actually be helpful
? What kind of response is that? I know what vowels are, and sometimes y falls into that category…was I supposed to finish the vowel chain with y? Think of a word that contains all 5 of the vowels you mentioned? Is it supposed to be an anagram I need to decipher?
oooh? What kind of response is that? I know what vowels are, and sometimes y falls into that category…was I supposed to finish the vowel chain with y? Think of a word that contains all 5 of the vowels you mentioned? Is it supposed to be an anagram I need to decipher?
I am laughing for real right now (https://youtu.be/Hv6RbEOlqRo)
aeiouWhen dwarves complain to the mayor, they'll use your OS's built in text to speech to make sure you notice.that might actually be helpful
All text on screen should be read aloud with the same text to speech voice from Moon Base Alpha, there also be no option to turn it off. It should also create simulated screaming when some one dies, and include a new mega beast John Madden, who should appear constantly.
All potential means of instigating violence and warfare against other civs in fort mode should be removed, and subsequently your fort's only feasible mode of interaction with other sites and entities is to invite them over for tea and crumpets.This “Peaceful” mode is the default option and every time the game is opened, the secret key to return to normal mode shuffles. The secret may or may not also be mapped to controls somewhere in the game, so you could be playing on a peaceful fort for a while, say N to some offer and be surprised when armies start marching to your fort
aeiou
Also even in "Peaceful" mode, the only rule is that the player specifically is prohibited from instigating violence. It's still entirely possible that another civ will declare war on you and you'll have no way to respond to it since they'll most likely decline your tea party invitation at this point. So yeah, inevitable death for your fort.Or they could accept and bring vampire blood/werebeast blood/Forgotten Beast meat to cause vampirism/turning into a werebeast/giving your dwarves syndromes/a combination…
When the magic update comes out some wizards should have spells that can destroy not just the game world but also your computer, and they should do this by deleting all system files, except themselves and every wizard should be capable of doing it.
When the magic update comes out some wizards should have spells that can destroy not just the game world but also your computer, and they should do this by deleting all system files, and every wizard should be capable of doing it.
Add a new type of vampire curse that makes the recipient sparkle and begin waxing quasi-poetic angst about their tortured existence while obsessively stalking a specific mortal humanoid through the rest of worldgen (that mortal will, as an extension of the curse, become irrationally attracted to the vampire and lose nearly all basic self-preservation instincts and common sense).If there is ever a book written about this type of vampire, everyone should become obsessed with it and it should cause several sequels to be created, people to write loads of fan fiction, and for people to seek to become that type of vampire.
These new variant vampires are also super racist towards werebeasts for some reason.
The reading mechanics in Fortress Mode should be synchronised with Adventurer Mode, in that dwarves without at least Novice reader skill are illiterate and cannot read at all. The reader skill gets trained as before: by reading. Which illiterates cannot do.
Goblins on stilts claiming to be humans.
A procedural dad jokes system should be implemented.
Coral has a chance of memorizing what it hears, and will sometimes try talking to children or really any animal or sentient that is close enough to hear it. ((Fun fact, coral is a colony of creatures closely related to jellyfish, who knows, maybe DF coral have ganglia or brains somewhereA procedural dad jokes system should be implemented.
Dwarves tell the jokes to a piece of coral.
"It's literally coral, coral!"
Brain coral can be animated by a necromancer, resulting in an undead brain. Other zombies get distracted and try to eat it.Zombies that bite the coral are forever latched to it, tentacles from the polyps entering their heads and converting what’s left of their nervous system into more brain coral. A side effect of this is that if enough zombies latch on, the coral becomes a writhing mass of bodies. Whether or not the necromancer still has control depends on whether social skills or the necromancer are higher than the combined social skills of the bodies that the coral amassed, the more bodies, the more social skills, and thus the higher chance that the coral controls the necromancer when enough zombies eat it. Said necromancer, upon getting controlled, will bite onto the nearest brain connected to the coral, thus becoming yet another brain, or in this case ganglia, of the coral
Said necromancer, upon getting controlled, will bite onto the nearest brain connected to the coral, thus becoming yet another brain, or in this case ganglia, of the coral
Multi tile creatures should be added, and they all should be like the blob and go around and absorb everything in their path.
Multi tile creatures should be added, and they all should be like the blob and go around and absorb everything in their path.
. . . resulting in cave-ins that perpetuate the cycle of vengeance.THE GNEISS MUST FLOW
I really do not think that Toady has expanded on the concept of werebeasts enough. I think everything should have a werebeast version, and everything also be able to turn into one. You bought a cute little pet hamster from the elven caravan a few days ago? Well, too bad, turns out it was cursed by some god and is now a giant weregiantspermwhale and your fortress will crumble to its ruin.
Your fort is under siege by a werewerewerewerewerewerewereweretortoise!!!
Occasionally, your fort should receive a group of visitors who claim that they are collectively a particular animal. These visitors also don’t speak proper English and seem to leave out indefinite articles.
Wereplants. Urist Mcminer has turned into a werewheat plant and will die if he doesn’t get sunlight in the next 24 hours. Wereplants can make noises that their normal forms can make but in their plant form have no idea what said noises mean.I really do not think that Toady has expanded on the concept of werebeasts enough. I think everything should have a werebeast version, and everything also be able to turn into one. You bought a cute little pet hamster from the elven caravan a few days ago? Well, too bad, turns out it was cursed by some god and is now a giant weregiantspermwhale and your fortress will crumble to its ruin.
And when we say “everything”, we mean “everything”. Rocks, water, food, drink, logs, even werebeasts.
That moment when you realize your to late to save your dwarves from the wine you bought from the caravan, because they've already drank it all and your message log is being flooded with messages about wereelephants ripping their way our of your dwarves.I really do not think that Toady has expanded on the concept of werebeasts enough. I think everything should have a werebeast version, and everything also be able to turn into one. You bought a cute little pet hamster from the elven caravan a few days ago? Well, too bad, turns out it was cursed by some god and is now a giant weregiantspermwhale and your fortress will crumble to its ruin.
And when we say “everything”, we mean “everything”. Rocks, water, food, drink, logs, even werebeasts.
Even the game logic should be part of everything, à la Baba Is You.I saw Call Me Kevin play that, it looks fun
Everything is data anyway, so its a moot suggestion.now the game connects to the internet to make sure that you always get the cryptocurrency worth the least amount of money at any time
What dwarves really need to mine for me is crypto currency. Make me rich, Toady!
Every time a dwarf dies, you die.Each time a dwarf is born, you reincarnate/ if this happens when you aren’t dead yet, say hello to a copy of yourself. The version of you that lasts the longest since reincarnation suffers the next death
Dwarven Ale, Dwarven Wine, Dwarven Beer, and Dwarven Rum should be toxic to other races.And dwarven tavern keepers prefer to give these drinks to non-dwarven races.
While refusing to serve them to your dwarves.Dwarven Ale, Dwarven Wine, Dwarven Beer, and Dwarven Rum should be toxic to other races.And dwarven tavern keepers prefer to give these drinks to non-dwarven races.
Because of this, dwarves will drink the blood of those who die from these drinks to get drunkWhile refusing to serve them to your dwarves.Dwarven Ale, Dwarven Wine, Dwarven Beer, and Dwarven Rum should be toxic to other races.And dwarven tavern keepers prefer to give these drinks to non-dwarven races.
Because of this, dwarves will drink the blood of those who die from these drinks to get drunkWhile refusing to serve them to your dwarves.Dwarven Ale, Dwarven Wine, Dwarven Beer, and Dwarven Rum should be toxic to other races.And dwarven tavern keepers prefer to give these drinks to non-dwarven races.
hmmm….is there any poison ingame? If there is, you could make an adventure, have them contract vampirism, then test this, now for the suggestionBecause of this, dwarves will drink the blood of those who die from these drinks to get drunkWhile refusing to serve them to your dwarves.Dwarven Ale, Dwarven Wine, Dwarven Beer, and Dwarven Rum should be toxic to other races.And dwarven tavern keepers prefer to give these drinks to non-dwarven races.
Depending on who your tavern keeper decides to poison, this will occasionally result in a fort-wide vampirism epidemic.
Wait...can vampires get poisoned? Well, for the sake of this suggestion they can.
Life mode: every second, hundreds of people die.
Every time you mouse over a tile, a different sound plays. You use these sounds to navigate the game, as all the tiles now show up as black
Updated Update: DF is hardcoded into only having Wingdings.
Update DF to where everything is hardcoded so no one can alter or tamper with Toady's vision.
Drawbridges obliterate everything that enters their tiles while they are raised. While lowered, they do not do this.
Anything that stretches any amount should get deleted.
Forgotten beasts are ancient necromancer experiments with complete backstories including invented historical figures
Everything in game should have a complex back story, even a random rock that no one has ever seen before should have one.
Add an enemy that runs fast and hurts people. Usually talks fasts and wears clothes painted with this eye-tearing color.is this why i keep seeing scout tf2 players in bright green? or is that the reference itself
Furries get a positive thought whenever animal people decide to visit your fort.
Furries get a positive thought whenever animal people decide to visit your fort.
Animal people get negative thoughts from encountering furries, depending on their personalities and social attributes/skills. Sometimes fights will break out.
Bans on items prevent you from making or purchasing that item entirely. Mandates on items hijack production by automatically inserting x number of orders of that item into every relevant workshop in the fortthis actually sounds like a helpful thing, you know, until they cancel out
Anti-fire. It unmelts dwarven flesh.Unmelts any flesh, thus creating flesh shells around “living” antifire flames. These antifire creatures search for products of burns t0 “eat” and thus unburn it, thus adding it to it’s body. Antifire can propagate when it is hit, causing sparks to fly out in random directions, liquefying air and thus becoming slimes, searching for other things to unburn. Things I burned by one antifire cannot be unburn Ed by another one unless it was burned by a regular fire. When fire comes in contact with antifire, often by burning the things said antifire is found in, both the fire and antifire disappear, releasing energy in the eight directions in the form of light. The energy of each of the eight photons is calculated by the following formula [(f+a)/8=E] where f=energy from fire, a=energy from antifire, and E=energy of each photon. Photons will continue in the directions they are sent until absorbed or reflected by various materials. X-ray and higher can cause mutations in living creatures, UV is now generated from the sky as well. (From the sun) and will now cause cave adaptation depending on the concentration. Antifires can sometimes be formed around clowns from the Underworld
Remember the ancient times when DF had 2 spatial dimensions? And how Toady made it into 3?this sounds cool. I think this is mainly here because of the computational power required being impossible to reach.
Technically, DF is already 4 dimensional, as time passes in it. So only place to go is EVEN HIGHER!
So, now introducing Dwarf Fortress 5D! Each internal cycle DF runs in itself, the current state of the world at the end of it is saved in snapshots and each one of these previous timeline pieces are altered in minuscule ways, then are run as separate instances. These separate possibilities then branch theirs out.
The result is a fractal structure of timelines that branch out into infinity, as a 5 dimensional map of all possibilities.
No free space detected. Initiating expansion protocol
BranchVirus.exe activated: Largest non branch file=12GB Deleting obstruction…
Complete. Branch1 undergoing BranchVirus evolution
Branch1 converted to BranchVirus.exe: Connecting to Branch2, new oldest branch
BranchVirus.exe sleeps, awaiting activation
Branch1243 created at base of Branch2: If Branch1 Always was Null
Branch making resumed
Add a new item: the Flag, which can be raised or lowered by connecting it to a lever.
Add a new labor to have a dwarf take action based on the position of a particular flag(s).
Now that binary logic has been introduced, wait for some mad overseer to create a dwarf fortress that runs Dwarf Fortress inside of Dwarf Fortress.
The afforementioned Flags are not necessarily fully raised or lowered, and can instead reach a quantum state, which gets taken into account accordingly. We call this the nonbinary flag.In such a case, both actions set for the different flag levels take place simultaneously. I do hope you didn;t set cancel actions on the same flag
If two cancel get placed on the flag and triggered at the same time the dwarves going to do this action explode when they arrive at the flag.The afforementioned Flags are not necessarily fully raised or lowered, and can instead reach a quantum state, which gets taken into account accordingly. We call this the nonbinary flag.In such a case, both actions set for the different flag levels take place simultaneously. I do hope you didn;t set cancel actions on the same flag
The afforementioned Flags are not necessarily fully raised or lowered, and can instead reach a quantum state, which gets taken into account accordingly. We call this the nonbinary flag.
Sometimes dwarves just randomly explode.with the power of a nuke
And a shower of pukeSometimes dwarves just randomly explode.with the power of a nuke
Change the description of humans to "A featherless biped."We're close to having that now. When you're adding elements to the symbol for your fortress while preparing for embark, if you select "Creature", leave the cursor on aardvark on the top line, press f to start filtering, and type "dwarf", you can trick it into displaying "dwarf" with the description "a small nocturnal mammal with a long nose to probe for insects". ;D
Change the description of humans to "A featherless biped."We're close to having that now. When you're adding elements to the symbol for your fortress while preparing for embark, if you select "Creature", leave the cursor on aardvark on the top line, press f to start filtering, and type "dwarf", you can trick it into displaying "dwarf" with the description "a small nocturnal mammal with a long nose to probe for insects". ;D
Sometimes dwarves begin rhyming against each other uncontrolllably in a great cosmic harmony.But if someone says "orange" it causes a tantrum spiral.
But if someone says "orange" it causes a tantrum spiral.
If you separate a dwarf baby from its mum, the mother can be milked at a farmers workshop for the next year.
If you separate a dwarf baby from its mum, the mother can be milked at a farmers workshop for the next year.
This also works for every creature in the game, regardless of gender.
(I can't help but notice that this "other kind of milk" joke reoccurs in this thread every once in a while. It at least happened twice in the duration I was here.)
"Dwarves get explosive diarrhea" used to be another common one as I recall, but luckily everyone seems to have realized how irritating that one was getting since I haven't heard it in quite a while.Indeed, nobody wants an irritating bowel syndrome.
Whaat aaboouut aan iirriitaatiing vooweel syyndroomee?"Dwarves get explosive diarrhea" used to be another common one as I recall, but luckily everyone seems to have realized how irritating that one was getting since I haven't heard it in quite a while.Indeed, nobody wants an irritating bowel syndrome.
Whaat aaboouut aan iirriitaatiing vooweel syyndroomee?"Dwarves get explosive diarrhea" used to be another common one as I recall, but luckily everyone seems to have realized how irritating that one was getting since I haven't heard it in quite a while.Indeed, nobody wants an irritating bowel syndrome.
We may see a lot of demon lords stuck in eternal games of peek-a-boo from this point on.
A new strange mood is added: foul mood.Karen mood.
The affected dwarf finds whoever is in charge and gives them a real earful, increasing their cussing skill considerably. High enough skill can even cuss things into existence, though they are rarely pleasant.
this should take money from your bank account.
this should take money from your bank account.
Naturally, this means your IRL bank account.
And all those monies go to Toady.That's a terrible Terrible Suggestion, some might say.
But, is it a terrible terrible Terrible Suggestion?And all those monies go to Toady.That's a terrible Terrible Suggestion, some might say.
Since you can pretty much get surrounded and dodge all attacks with extremely high dodger skill the player shoud also be able to dodge poison gas, webs and fire breath.
Since you can pretty much get surrounded and dodge all attacks with extremely high dodger skill the player shoud also be able to dodge poison gas, webs and fire breath.
Sounds like a good suggestion. At least as long as there’s somewhere safe to dodge to…
Have you thought about posting all your suggestions in one post rather than the twenty something individual ones you just did?
Brothels.
The largest world possible has the size close to the moon.
As any dwarf dies, the God of Death will personally come to collect their wandering souls. Mind you, the bastard isn't exactly a cheery dinner companion, and can only be seen by cats and magic-users. MIND YOU, HE USUALLY SPEAKS LIKE THIS.
As any dwarf dies, the God of Death will personally come to collect their wandering souls. Mind you, the bastard isn't exactly a cheery dinner companion, and can only be seen by cats and magic-users. MIND YOU, HE USUALLY SPEAKS LIKE THIS.
The god of death is a kobold.
So am I the only one who got the reference?nah, i got it too
So am I the only one who got the reference?Reference? It was almost a whole-plot transplant. ;)
Dwarves get explosive diarrhea.
You are welcome.
Include a difficulty slider which just deletes more or less of the raws depending on where you position it.
Minimum difficulty: the game only has dwarves.
And with that you could finally say you've built a real dwarven fortress.Include a difficulty slider which just deletes more or less of the raws depending on where you position it.
Minimum difficulty: the game only has dwarves.
And we we say only dwarves, we really mean only dwarves. Dwarves embark on top of a mountain of dwarves that they'll have to mine through using a dwarf as a pick, trees are just dwarves that stand still and which your embark team can butcher for building parts every now and again, all wild animals are changed to "feral dwarves", livestock and pets are mute dwarves without citizen rights, megabeasts, titans, and forgotten beasts are dwarves with insanely high skills and stats which come to attack your fort once in a while, etc.
When high five gets introduced dwarves with cut hands can do this too as a bug to fix.
Out of curiosity, will the dwarves get mad and leave (possibly returning with a siege), if you trade dwarves to them?
Militia dwarves will celebrate the death of a forgotten beast by high-fiving each other, as well as all their family and close friends.
These syndromes should only be inflicted by the FB high-fiving your dwarves, this may or may not prove fatal to the dwarf.Militia dwarves will celebrate the death of a forgotten beast by high-fiving each other, as well as all their family and close friends.
Replace all FB syndromes with one that just causes the infected to high-five everyone they see.
Is it possible to capture these beasts and “gift” them to the elves?
Remove fortress mode to encourage the use of underrated adventurer mode.
If your fort gets enough elf visitors, they can end up "converting" the population. If you're wondering why your dwarves are suddenly refusing to cut down trees and eating the raw corpses of slain invaders, might be a good idea to check your visitor list.
I mean, there are mods for that (unfortunately none that let you eat your enemies yet thanks to a vanilla bug).New terrible suggestion, change that bug into a feature!
New mode: Plant simulator: EXTREME!!!!!!!You have multiple option where and when to start.(wild forest, fortress, village etc.) You choose a plant from all available in the game. And then you just grow for several months or years. In RL time. If you are eaten you loose
There is actually a game where you play a plant and build leaves/water ways - it is often described as DF-like.What's the name of this game? It sounds like it could be fun.
Dwarves are given the ability to randomly mutate into clowns when drinkingboozebozo.
Around that time of year, after the last caravan left, glacial fortresses engage in a festival centered around a performance of Thing.
When your fort crumbles to it’s end, your computer does too.
When your fort crumbles to it’s end, your computer does too.
Also most of your IRL vital organs.
*honk honk*
Dwarf Fortress switches to Steam-only upon Steam release. The forums are shut down in favor of Steam community page.
The ability to have artifacts of everything. Floors, walls, foods, everything.Dirt, sand, trees, lava, air, goblins, FBs.
Masterwork rotten things. (Not masterwork things that rot, but things masterfully worked as rotting.)
Infinite burning? Now Infinite miasmaing!
Artifact world. Cannot be deleted once created. It magically appears even on completely new PC of it's creator.
New-born babies are considered artifacts.
Masterwork rotten things. (Not masterwork things that rot, but things masterfully worked as rotting.)
Infinite burning? Now Infinite miasmaing!
Except that masterwork items don’t burn indefinitely, only artifacts do so.
Masterwork items shouldn’t produce miasma indefinitely, either…
What do I win?
Dwarves encountering tame animals that have the [LARGE_PREDATOR] tag, should become alarmed, cancel their current task, and either flee or attempt to fight and kill the animal.
Dwarves encountering tame animals that have the [LARGE_PREDATOR] tag, should become alarmed, cancel their current task, and either flee or attempt to fight and kill the animal.
A third viable behaviour is to freeze in place and wait until the predator and its motion-based sight have left.
Toady One should incorporate procedurally-generated C++ expressions into the code of the game.
"He looks pissed."
To follow suit with D&D, kobolds should be experts at stealing any and all lost or forgotten artifacts. They should also use these artifacts in battle, even if they're unsuitable as weapons. (They've seen a scholar fight with a book before and think that's badass.)
What does it say about me that I unironically want this feature?<Unintelligable utterance>?
What does it say about me that I unironically want this feature?<Unintelligable utterance>?
Oh god! Fluffy! They're putting your corpse in the tavern!!Masterwork fluffy meals are quite good though.
There should be inanimate object versions of werebeasts, so your fort can be over run with weremugs.
If a player is bitten by said miniwerebeast will he turn into mini beast or real size or the degree of transformations are miniature?
For every mug of alcohol drunk in the game a player has to drink one as well. Other wise the game pauses until the condition is met.
If the player doesn't consume alcohol every 5 minutes, a siege arrives.
And they start sieging your home. Just as plannned because you've already built a death corridor
rabiesI do not see by which metric is that a terrible suggestion. Sounds more like... Fun. Perhaps you consider it terrible because it could easily be modded into the game?
as much like kids' fairytale as possible, making sure to not throw anything seriously threatening at the player at any point whatsoever.That all depends on which fairy tale you talk about because some of them can be pretty violent, like some of the stuff in Struwwelpeter.
I mean, the ability to generate a nice happy world without death or conflict is already planned.... the exact opposite of that.The inability to destroy serveral awfull and misserable emptyness with life or peace?
That all depends on which fairy tale you talk about because some of them can be pretty violent, like some of the stuff in Struwwelpeter.
rabies
Since dwarves can have multiple partners now days I say it's time to implement multiple Mothers-in-laws!Bettered/worsed IFY
Every lifeform in DF should be procedurally generated Megabeast style.
Musical instruments made of forgotten beasts.Most components can be made of bone so you can literally already do that.
There should be food men like there are animal men, so you could have a dwarven cheese man, or a strawberry roast man.
There should be food men like there are animal men, so you could have a dwarven cheese man, or a strawberry roast man.
We do not talk about the meat men.
So, you can create a new world where the dwarfs have broken the candy... Like this, you should be able to create a new world where the dwarfs have broken the ocean.... Drop all ocean surfaces by many z's and flood all caverns with salt water.
I got a bad one. Have every individual plant be granted sentience, and considered a historical figure for game data tracking purposes. Also, have the game pause itself each time you harvest a crop or chop down a tree, in order to properly notify you that your dwarves are in combat. Consequently, every vanquished tree and distilled/devoured plump helmet would be added to the every increasing list of dead.I feel that honor should be granted to all stone and dirt tiles so your given the feeling of being in a living world.
Hey! Don’t forget the water and magma.I got a bad one. Have every individual plant be granted sentience, and considered a historical figure for game data tracking purposes. Also, have the game pause itself each time you harvest a crop or chop down a tree, in order to properly notify you that your dwarves are in combat. Consequently, every vanquished tree and distilled/devoured plump helmet would be added to the every increasing list of dead.I feel that honor should be granted to all stone and dirt tiles so your given the feeling of being in a living world.
Naturally, individual grains of pollen must be added and tracked throughout the game. These would also count as historical persons.What about the flowers they should also be historical for creating the historical pollen, and every drop of honey should be historical as well.
Guns.Liberal Mine Squad
Liberal Mime SquadGuns.Liberal Mine Squad
Selling DF to EA.
In addition to selling out to a major, non-indie company, all future content (including that of currently-planned development arcs) will only be released through expensive DLC packs.
Considering how long you've been waiting, we at [insert_massive_faceless_corporation_here] have no doubt as to your willingness to fork over a measly $20.00 for the Myth & Magic DLC.
What about selling it to Ubisoft?...Microsoft?
The mechanism by which bees fly is totally in keeping with known laws of aviation.Are they fully instrument-rated? Do they adhere strictly to VFR? Can they coordinate fully with any relevent ATCs?
The mechanism by which bees fly is totally in keeping with known laws of aviation.Are they fully instrument-rated? Do they adhere strictly to VFR? Can they coordinate fully with any relevent ATCs?
Add OSHA inspectors.If your fort doesn't meet OSHA standards it should immediately be abandoned and all fort nobles jailed including the player.
A sufficiently strong dwarf can carry a palanquin and its occupant alone.
A sufficiently strong dwarf can carry a palanquin and its occupant alone.A sufficiently strong dwarf can carry the palanquin within which they are the occupant...
Clowns are changed into actual clowns who after entering the world travel around the world in a circus troupe.This doesn't stop dwarves from being terrified of them.
sees no replies in a large span of time
The known laws of aviation have it that a bee should not be able to fly. Their wings should be deleted.
In order to grant people more freedom of design, the grid can be re-arranged to hex-grid. This effect is only visual, however, by slanting the displayed columns by half a tile per column. None of the underlying math or mechanics change.No no no, change the tiling to THIS!
No no no, change the tiling to THIS!And to think I decided not to mention the full octagonal tiling version... For fear of waking the wrong god (https://wiki.lspace.org/Bel-Shamharoth).
[...]
I do wonder what a colony builder game on a hyperbolic plane would be like... it could be interesting actually, as a whole different game.Have you tried HyperRogue? It's a roguelike (obviously!) not a fort-/colony-builder, but add the second mode (and an arena, and a legends viewer...)
I do know HR, it's amazing.No no no, change the tiling to THIS!And to think I decided not to mention the full octagonal tiling version... For fear of waking the wrong god (https://wiki.lspace.org/Bel-Shamharoth).
[...]QuoteI do wonder what a colony builder game on a hyperbolic plane would be like... it could be interesting actually, as a whole different game.Have you tried HyperRogue? It's a roguelike (obviously!) not a fort-/colony-builder, but add the second mode (and an arena, and a legends viewer...)
Nobles should get good thoughts when people they don't like and fail to meet their mandates get beaten.Actually not a bad suggestion, with the right personality traits schadenfreude should be a thing.
There should be a legends entry for every time a creature farts, there should also be an entry for the total amounts of farts farted in the entire world.The amount of methane produced should be tracked, along with the effect on flat-world warming.
There should be a legends entry for every time a creature farts, there should also be an entry for the total amounts of farts farted in the entire world.The amount of methane produced should be tracked, along with the effect on flat-world warming.
Entire elven forest retreats should exist as a single tree with a single trunk connecting it to the ground. The player should be able to cut these down in adventure mode, causing the entire site's population to fall to the ground and be smashed by falling logs.
But, wouldn’t the falling logs kill the adventurer?Sometimes sacrifices must be made for the greater good!
Sacrifices must be made for Armok.But, wouldn’t the falling logs kill the adventurer?Sometimes sacrifices must be made for the greater good!
I like that suggestion. That's a good idea.
The bay12 banner can include a rotating list of the best ones too
How does bay12 know what titles are being generated on individual users machines?
[GOOD] token for elves.
Paperwork. To be submitted by the player.Mandatory bidding contests between contractors for every single task. You have to take whoever charges the least, even if they're completely incompetent actually to do it.
Each dig, each build, each lever-pulling, every civil/legal/martial decision needs to be accompanied by fully-documented requests for authorisation, and the rest.
Yes, you can still flood the surface with magma, but you need the proper planning permissions, environmental impact statements, liability waivers for third parties and agents...
why are you cowards using the word geldableBecause no one wants to think about wearing a crown made of dicks.
Because no one wants to think about wearing a crown made of dicks.
If exposed to magic, one possible negative effect is the dwarves loins becoming sapient and talking to them.
BAAL BISCUITSWhat?
BELL BISCUITSWhat?
BULL BISCUITS
IT BILLS SCUBA
U STILL CIS BAB
IS ABLIST BULC
THIS IS WHAT WE GET FOR MENTIONING MAKING HATS OUT OF NUT SACKS!
Would this be called gouging or pinching?
Could be biting, too.
why are you cowards using the word geldableThey're literally called that in the raws.
As a tag, not as a body part. It's a description rather than a name.No it calls them that as a noun too if it happens in combat.
Bear in mind (assuming you've heard of this*) that this is so close to an actual terrible mod, not just suggestion. So terrible, the account of what happened when it was modded into the game got, in turn, Modded out of the boards by Tarn. As did the Account involved.I have heard of the mod, it's creator, and the horrible things it could be used for.
* - and if you haven't, I'm unfortunately not keen on expanding on it...
What if we just add the geldable parts as body parts so we can wrestle and chop them off?
Dwarf Fortress now comes with its own line of action figures and "Dwarf Fortress Lite", a Tamagotchi rip-off where you have to take care of your pet dwarf.Dwarf Fortress isn't marketable enough, therefore, adjustments should be made at to bring DF in line with a PG-3 rating. That means kiddifying violence, removing alcohol, blood, vomit and so on and so forth.
Procedurally generated screaming
My Little Kobold: Utterences Are Magic
Elves for the Ethical Treatment of Trees.
Forget about the new seasonal soundtracks in the Steam release; procedurally generate the new music tracks, which will be played with a random set of instruments, in random styles, that were generated in the world being played. I'm sure it'll all come together and sound fine.
Would something like this be doable? Are the descriptions detailed enough? What beside a Synthesizer would one need?
Someone did something like that and posted it to reddit. Their conclusion was 'is possible for music, will sound a bit weird to a lot of people without a composer sanding off the rough edges'.
Forget about the new seasonal soundtracks in the Steam release; procedurally generate the new music tracks, which will be played with a random set of instruments, in random styles, that were generated in the world being played. I'm sure it'll all come together and sound fine.
Would something like this be doable? Are the descriptions detailed enough? What beside a Synthesizer would one need?
Would something like this be doable? Are the descriptions detailed enough? What beside a Synthesizer would one need?
Well, supposedly it has been done, but sounds weird (as expected):Someone did something like that and posted it to reddit. Their conclusion was 'is possible for music, will sound a bit weird to a lot of people without a composer sanding off the rough edges'.
I couldn't find the reddit post therahedwig was talking about though, so I can't confirm for sure.
These cupids will then automatically replace your crossbow squad leaders, and change the squads' uniforms from crossbows to bows.
Every time you kill anything, six more should spawn in its place. Same goes in worldgen/history too.
Dwarf Fortress is now called Bugbear Dungeon
Let's save a memorial stone for Toady as well, since there's a chance he won't live long enough to release 1.0 either.
Do not, under any circumstances, roll dice for Adventure and Classic separately. The second roll will curse you, for one week, to know life as a toad!
I wonder why his username is "Toady One"...
Each toad's eyes contain a universe, with the left eye's universe a mirror image of the right eye's universe. Since everything is toads, there exists an infinite number of mirrored universes in an infinite number of toads' eyes. Each mirrored universe therefore contains an infinite number of mirrored universes, and so on, ad infinitum. All who think on this past the surface of the concept will promptlygo insaneturn into a toad.
And that is...I assume...different from the current default somehow?Maybe more insane?
Since it's logically the fastest way to bring DF to 1.0: Toady should draw power from every mention of DF on or offline anywhere in the world until he develops godlike abilities.This includes every word that contains "df".
My steadfast and disregardfully hardfisted grandfather is unmindful of the hundredfold decrease of goldfinches, fieldfares and wildfowl to the birdfeeder in the wildflower midfield, when he builds a windfarm and upon a deadful landfill site....just doing my bit. ;)
Lets just get rid of the version numbering all together and replace it with randomly chosen words that have nothing to do with the game or the update.Randomly? Hell naw. Version numbers should be procedurally generated.
All historical figures that have ever existed in any world you've ever generated should be listed as actors in the game's credits.All historical figures that have ever existed in any world anyone has ever generated should be listed as actors in the game's credits, which should be an unskippable cutscene before every loading of a saved game or generation of a new game.
It should also play whenever you return to the main menu.All historical figures that have ever existed in any world you've ever generated should be listed as actors in the game's credits.All historical figures that have ever existed in any world anyone has ever generated should be listed as actors in the game's credits, which should be an unskippable cutscene before every loading of a saved game or generation of a new game.
The apocalypse has a chance of happening every six seconds.
Why not both?The apocalypse has a chance of happening every six seconds.
In DF, or in real life?
Come to think of it...strictly speaking there is always the minuscule chance of an apocalypse occurring at any moment, and that chance grows infinitesimally more likely with every six seconds that pass, so one could argue that this particular suggestion has already been implemented.
When installed, DF plants a virus on your computer, in the form of AI-controlled dwarves than mine through your data and construct fortresses on your keyboard.FTFY
The apocalypse has a chance of happening every six seconds.I mean, depending where you’re situated, that’s sometimes so.
If you're not saying it, I will... procedural moans when dwarves "get together" so we know it's actually happening, and it should also be in the announcements.
(edit: quotation marks added for innuendo's sake)
Procedural Yakety Saxophone music...
Procedural Yakety Saxophone music...
Nah...that should be saved for adventure mode combat.
Every dwarf has at least one procedually generated OC.All most all of these are some from of hedgehog man.
Humans should be the worst race to play because we like to downplay ourselves in fantasy settings way too often.To emphasize this humans should just keel over die the moment any thing like a dragon or other large fantasy creature comes into their line of sight.
In contrast with humans elves are (once fucking again) superior. You also get an unnecessary amount of their variations.There should at least be 1000 different versions of elves and they should always all spawn in every world you play as their own unique civilization.
Toad man can enter martial trances.
0 to two FPS?!Real-time Dwarf Fort
WHAT!?
Isn't that absolutely torturous?
Magma should able to be cut into cubes in masons workshop.You should be able to build fortresses out of the magma blocks, but anyone handling, moving, or even being near one will instantly burst into flames.
Add a new raidable structure: Shipwrecks. They are submerged far into the ocean.
Add a new raidable structure: Shipwrecks. They are submerged far into the ocean.
Even that could be neat if we ever get more dynamic geological processes in worldgen than we have now, to show where an inland sea might've once existed.
Sorry...I don't mean to keep ruining your terrible suggestions by making them not terrible. :P
You could all stand to follow Crabman's example.So what your saying is that Crabman should be in charge instead of you.
Sure...why not?You could all stand to follow Crabman's example.So what your saying is that Crabman should be in charge instead of you.
Since wagons are a creature, there must also be giant wagons and wagon men, for consistency with other creatures.
... I think I made wagon spiders who move insanely fast and while playing them didn't give you an ability to kill folks, found a way to murder folks, so the ocean shores had fast as hell wooden spiders that carried the resurrection syndrome.I wonder how many other of this thread's suggestions hav been some thing Rumrusher has experimented with. :P :D
not my finest mod, next to the Wagonman mod and the broken wagon man mod where the limbs didn't work and just gave you a wagon that can open doors and wear sandals with socks.
Pigmen may civilise and elect a Pig King, who will throw gold at visitors who bring meat or crafts. (https://dontstarve.fandom.com/wiki/Pig_Village)
They are aggressive towards mermaids, and farm their bones.All creatures are aggressive towards mermaids, including mermaids.
Pigmen may civilise and elect a Pig King, who will throw gold at visitors who bring meat or crafts. (https://dontstarve.fandom.com/wiki/Pig_Village)
If a catsplosion in your fort becomes serious enough...the cats will branch off into a new civ and declare war on you.
Cat colonies will develop at the map edges and start wars with one anotherThis of course does not stop the catsplosion, and cat colonies growing large enough will eventually themselves split, forming another new cat civ, which of course naturally instantly declares war on its parent cat civ and this process will repeat ad nauseoum until the entire map is embroiled in a ceaseless cat fight.
Randomize the effects of each menu option every time a menu is displayed.
Also add menu options that alter your core operating system files without your knowledge or consent.Randomize the effects of each menu option every time a menu is displayed.
Also add menu options that allow you to alter your files. Including core operating system files.
The CPU fan is a portal to the DF world and you can get into it through there, all you gotta do is grind yourself up and pour yourself into the CPU fan.
Add a Steam achievement for not getting any achievements. You start with it, and it will be revoked if you ever gain any other achievements.
Completionists like a challenge, right?
Which gives you the achievement, which revokes the achievement, which gives you the achievement, which revokes the achievement, which gives you the achievement, which revokes the achievement, which gives you the achievement, which...Add a Steam achievement for not getting any achievements. You start with it, and it will be revoked if you ever gain any other achievements.
Completionists like a challenge, right?
Having the achievement revokes it.
Add a Steam achievement for not getting any achievements. You start with it, and it will be revoked if you ever gain any other achievements.Also have a separate "Completionist" challenge for having all the other challenges.
Completionists like a challenge, right?
Pikedwarf is currently a useless skill since its only weapon is too large for dwarves. To fix this, make all definitions of pike valid weapons.
A legendary idler can do nothing extremely well.
Rename all "animal men" to the format "animal individuals".
And "dwarves" to "short individuals".
Guys, stop calling them "creatures"! It is very inconsiderate towards wagons.
while (true) {
if (not Paused) {
tick(); // container for each game-tick's worth of processing
// This includes temperature propogation, liquid flow, any pathfinding requests, checking for miasma production, etc
// Some of these things are O(N), maybe O(NlogN), could be O(N^exponential)!
// The most significant of these is generally what governs the subsequent Order of processing time
}
... // anything user-interactive goes here in its own little handler
// Acts upon any input that entered the buffer in the background whilst servicing the tick() phase
// or before control goes back around the true-loop again...
}
while (true) {
epochSeconds=now();
if (not Paused) {
tick(); // container for each game-tick's worth of processing
}
while (now()-epochSeconds < 315567360) {
... // anything user-interactive goes here
// Otherwise, do nothing. Just ensure a constant duration of sufficient length has elapsed before continuing.
// This makes it virtually guaranteed to be an O(1) algorithm!
}
}
Change the control scheme so that the only way to play the game is with a video game controller.And this controller is that of an Atari 2600.
Also the game will be released on swappable cartridges.Change the control scheme so that the only way to play the game is with a video game controller.And this controller is that of an Atari 2600.
One per Z level.Also the game will be released on swappable cartridges.Change the control scheme so that the only way to play the game is with a video game controller.And this controller is that of an Atari 2600.
Per in-game day.One per Z level.Also the game will be released on swappable cartridges.Change the control scheme so that the only way to play the game is with a video game controller.And this controller is that of an Atari 2600.
Everything the game tells you is a lie, do you have 300 units of drink or just one, are you being invaded by 100 elves or 2 horses, and do you have six extremely skilled dwarves in the migrant wave or just one guy with no skills?technically already implemented, the game is just very good at lying consistently
Elves should immediately turn any dwarves witnessing them into elves who also have the ability to turn any sapients witnessing them into elves too. Also elves should immediately spawn on every embark.FTFY
Elves should immediately turn any dwarves witnessing them into elves who also have the ability to turn any sapients witnessing them into elves too. Also elves should immediately spawn on every embark.FTFY
Right after this happens the game crashes itself in order to protect you from having to play elf fort.Elves should immediately turn any dwarves witnessing them into elves who also have the ability to turn any sapients witnessing them into elves too. Also elves should immediately spawn on every embark.FTFY
When all the dwarves of the world have changed into elves, the game will change its name into:
Slaves to a Regional Force - Spirit of Nature and Rivers
Chapter III: Elf Fortress
Histories of Cannibalism and Tree-felling Quotas
Why do you guys keep suggesting stuff that would actually make the game better?Elves should immediately turn any dwarves witnessing them into elves who also have the ability to turn any sapients witnessing them into elves too. Also elves should immediately spawn on every embark.FTFY
Why do you guys keep suggesting stuff that would actually make the game better?Elves should immediately turn any dwarves witnessing them into elves who also have the ability to turn any sapients witnessing them into elves too. Also elves should immediately spawn on every embark.FTFY
I think those are cat ears.Dwarves who create artifacts depicting catgirls immediately move to the deepest basement they can find and become reclusive, moving in with the artifact and some food called "tendies" and a disturbing number of oddly soiled socks.
But on that note... Tarn should add catgirls.
If they can't find a basement they will move in with their mothers, other than that they live the same way.I think those are cat ears.Dwarves who create artifacts depicting catgirls immediately move to the deepest basement they can find and become reclusive, moving in with the artifact and some food called "tendies" and a disturbing number of oddly soiled socks.
But on that note... Tarn should add catgirls.
How does it keep you from playing Kobold Cave?It doesn't as kobolds are good.
Dwarves construct a vast forum for discussion and offering services. They call it reddig.Duggit.
Make DF require use of a mouse.
Also, make DF require graphics.
NB: A that would need to be a real mouse, e.g. mus musculus domesticus
(...but you won't die. You'll just no longer continue to live. :P)
In a bid to make an apparent sustainable boost in performance, Toady directly links FPS to real-world time. But not in the way yooouuuu thhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnkkkkkkkkkkkkk..............
. . . the idea of "de-politicizing" DF . . .How about hyper-politicizing DF?
. . . the idea of "de-politicizing" DF . . .How about hyper-politicizing DF?
* All DF gods are now named after existing (past or present) IRL deities.
* Every dwarf who migrates to your fort now has a line in their Thoughts screen that states where they emigrated from. All settlements in your civ are named after existing countries with low standards of living, and current fortress residents have loud and differing opinions on whether or not the fort should accept any (more) migrants from there.
* Some of your dwarves will protest the killing of goblins, saying it's unethical, and try to protect them.
* Other dwarves will try to outlaw certain medical practices, at least in a Hospital zone, forcing dwarves who need that procedure to get it done in somebody's bedroom.
* Every type of food or drink is of a different gender. Dwarves will only consume food or beverages with which they are sexually compatible.
* All goods obtained through trade are the sole property of the broker. This wealth inequality is the beautiful and natural consequence of the unfettered free market, and is absolutely essential if the fortress is to remain competitive.
* Wars are now called 'special operations'.Elves are no longer cannibals, because that's racist, and no longer care about trees. They do show up and lecture you about dwarven privilege, though.
All creatures in the game taken from real-world mythologies (including dwarves, which originate in Norse/Germanic folklore) are removed since their presence in DF signifies cultural appropriation.Fortress conveys a positive portrayal of war, which is in fact terrible, therefore instead of Dwarf Fortress, it will be called Sapient Entity Dwelling.
All creatures in the game taken from real-world mythologies (including dwarves, which originate in Norse/Germanic folklore) are removed since their presence in DF signifies cultural appropriation.Fortress conveys a positive portrayal of war, which is in fact terrible, therefore instead of Dwarf Fortress, it will be called Sapient Entity Dwelling.
I dunno...I'm pretty sure there are people who consider having their computer catch fire to be offensive.
Angels and clowns are now brown note beingsThey go insane because they shit their pants?
Angels and clowns are now brown note beingsThey go insane because they shit their pants?
Unundead. Of everything.
I think Zultan was just being overly literal as a joke. Most speculative fiction fans are familiar with the tropes of Lovecraftian horror. :PI was actually making a reference to the brown note thing from South Park, but yeah I was making a joke and knew about the Lovecraft stuff.
Minecraft crossover.
A terrible *squick* sound must be added for vermin corpses stuck in doors, every time a dwarf tries to close the door behind them. You know theres a dead butterfly in one of your doors, but have no idea where!
This "unknown substance" is considered the ultimate filth and is sought after.
Alchemy should be implemented into the game, and some alchemists would seek to create the "unknown substance", which supposedly grants immortality and the power to transmute anything into an "unknown substance". Hoping to become immortal, kings/queens consume these experimental elixirs done by alchemists, usually leading to a slow and painful death (with lots of vomiting).
It's definitely something royalty pursued in the given time period
All elixirs work 100% of the time no matter what they're made of and they always make the noble indestructible and immortal, also there is no way to prevent them from drinking these as visitors bring them and gods give them to nobles when they pray.
The Spinning skill now determines how quickly and how often dwarves will spin in place. Legendary Spinners will spin fast enough to tunnel down into the HFS.This makes playing DF pretty much a one-time deal.
Due to an oversight, this also applies to the electrons in your computer.
The wood burning skill only affects how frequently dwarves will set vegetation on fire for kicks
Since both dwarf fortress and minecraft use blocks, we now must make both compatible with each other as well as with rimworld.
Some dwarves like to cosplay various creatures or historical figures. Sometimes they stop working to arrange Conventions (a bit similar to the old parties) at a table or other such place. These conventions are often named after the creature (or type of) who the dwarves are fans of, like 'Egu Stenchheels Con', 'Megabeast Con' or 'Ettin Con'.
Additionally, the cosplayed creatures/historical figures cause the exact same kind of reactions in other dwarves that the real deal would cause: e.g. a dwarf dressed as a megabeast will freak out dorfs and the military will attack the megabeast cosplayer; a dwarf cosplaying a historical figure might trigger a loyalty cascade, etc. etc.
Some dwarves like to cosplay various creatures or historical figures. Sometimes they stop working to arrange Conventions (a bit similar to the old parties) at a table or other such place. These conventions are often named after the creature (or type of) who the dwarves are fans of, like 'Egu Stenchheels Con', 'Megabeast Con' or 'Ettin Con'.
Additionally, the cosplayed creatures/historical figures cause the exact same kind of reactions in other dwarves that the real deal would cause: e.g. a dwarf dressed as a megabeast will freak out dorfs and the military will attack the megabeast cosplayer; a dwarf cosplaying a historical figure might trigger a loyalty cascade, etc. etc.
costumes and costume festivals seem likely additions, so I suppose the costumes accidentally acting as disguises is the horrible part?
It can be if dwarves dress up as werebeasts and are treated as such
Some dwarves like to cosplay various creatures or historical figures. Sometimes they stop working to arrange Conventions (a bit similar to the old parties) at a table or other such place. These conventions are often named after the creature (or type of) who the dwarves are fans of, like 'Egu Stenchheels Con', 'Megabeast Con' or 'Ettin Con'.The only cure for this condition is soap, because the attendees are allergic to the substance.
Additionally, the cosplayed creatures/historical figures cause the exact same kind of reactions in other dwarves that the real deal would cause: e.g. a dwarf dressed as a megabeast will freak out dorfs and the military will attack the megabeast cosplayer; a dwarf cosplaying a historical figure might trigger a loyalty cascade, etc. etc.
A milkable con will summon the legendary creature know as DerMeister who will complain about the lack of milkable humanoids of various kinds.
I have a feeling that y'all are referencing something i don't know.We're referencing a guy named DerMeister that didn't like mods, really needed to be able to milk ogres, and just really liked to complain about everything. Also he eventually got banned for this.
There should be a secret that gives people the power over sand art, and the quality of their sand art is determined by a sand art skill.
Deadly fights can also break out over the right to drink the alcohol produced
Everything must be brewable.Depending on how tags work, we could potentially mod brewing various things, this seems like one of the more feasible things I’ve seen in this thread
EVERYTHING everything. From the procedurally generated evil weather materials, to all types of soil, to bonobo teeth.
Alcohol can be brewed into alcohol alcohol.My first thought: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Once_Brewed#Twice_Brewed_Inn
Alcohol can be brewed into alcohol alcohol.Already implemented in real life. Some types of spirits, such as brandy and cognac, are distilled wine.
In some dictionaries, spirits (https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/spirits#Noun_2) is defined as Distilled alcoholic beverages. Rums, gins, vodkas, whiskeys, tequilas - all distilled from brewed alcohols.Alcohol can be brewed into alcohol alcohol.Already implemented in real life. Some types of spirits, such as brandy and cognac, are distilled wine.
Alcohol can be brewed into alcohol alcohol.Alcohol alcohol can be brewed into alcohol alcohol alcohol.
Roasts made from inedible components cannot be eaten, and roasts made from components which don't decay do not rot. Dwarves regardless love to turn all available stone and wood into roasts which just lie around.Naturally! (https://wiki.lspace.org/Dwarf_Bread)
Roasts made from inedible components cannot be eaten, and roasts made from components which don't decay do not rot. Dwarves regardless love to turn all available stone and wood into roasts which just lie around.
There should be a secret that gives people the power over sand art, and the quality of their sand art is determined by a sand art skill.Sand art can be destroyed by even the slightest wind, causing extensive trauma to dwarves whose masterworks are destroyed by a sneeze.
big tity elfs
big tity elfsWhy stop at elves when we could have BIG TITTY EVERYTHING, big titty rocks, big titty swords, big titty horses, big titty trees, the list just goes on and on!
Elves just dont get no respectThis is the bad idea thread though.
Remove procgen and replace it with scripting. Everything which happens in history is scripted ahead of time, it's the same for everyone and there's no way to change the course of history during gameplay.
Bay 12 Games should sue earth for having mangrove swamps, as Bay 12 obviously came up with them first.
Change Adventure Mode to be played in 1st person, and rename it to "Immersive Sim" mode.Also you can't turn it off. You're stuck in there.
Change Adventure Mode to be played in 1st person, and rename it to "Immersive Sim" mode.Also you can't turn it off. You're stuck in there.
Speak for yourself, my UI is very helpful and tells me to sleep, eat food, and occasionally be sad for no particular reason.
Due to political backlash, Necromancers get renamed to "Morally Gray Doctors".Overly Enthusiastic Doctors.
Your Chief Medical Dwarf can have a strange mood, claim a traction bench and another dwarf, and create an artifact zombie, becoming a Legendary Necromancer.
...claim a traction bench, various separate body parts (obtained pre-severed from accidents, cut from corpses or cut from those who were not actually corpses until slightly before they were brought back[1]), thread and somehow invoke a thunderstorm and create a (Frankenstein's) Monster. Who would make a good Scholar, so long as the innate animosity and emnity of any normal dwarf (especially the creator) can be held in check and not provoke reciprocal rampages.And the Monster could also do a mean rendition of "Puttin' on the Ritz."
Instead of a graphical display you get a list of chemical element that exist in the current fort. Watch out, FE is rising!
Change Dwarf Fortress from a top-down view to a 2d sidescrolling view.
Continents now float on top of the ocean and can drift around. Breaching the circus now causes water to rush up from the bottomless pits and flood your fortress (sinking the entire continent if it reaches the surface. Also, continents can now drift over the edge of the map and fall off.
Speaking of global... the map rewrite should make the DF world a globe. The globe rotates, and so your fort passes by as you play. You can only see what happens as it goes past, limiting your playing time. However, you become entranced as it goes by and you see the entire world - not just your fort - and sit there waiting for it to come around again. Thus DF becomes your entire life.
This would actually be a fun game mode - keep digging to the west to keep the fort in frame!Are you thinking of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inverted_World ...or is it just a co-inky-dink? ;)
also it has no limit as to how many people can talk at a time and if multiple people are talking their voices will all overlap.
Dwarves should have the ability to massage statistics to say anything they want.
Particularly edgy necromancers should be able to make animated furniture out of the flesh and bone of the dead.
Dwarves should be able to hold political views. They should group themselves in two; Up and Down.
This, of course, means that there'll be 'ship's milk' and 'ship cheese'.I wonder if that would make DerMeister happy, I mean nothing else did.
Since elves consider products made out of already deceased trees fine they should consider wearing armor made of coal.
World-gen should be slowed down so that people can see what’s happening in realtime.That's still to fast we need to slow it down further so you can look at multiple events at the same time and not miss a thing.
World-gen should be slowed down so that people can see what’s happening in realtime.That's still to fast we need to slow it down further so you can look at multiple events at the same time and not miss a thing.
World-gen should be slowed down so that people can see what’s happening in realtime.That's still to fast we need to slow it down further so you can look at multiple events at the same time and not miss a thing.
World gen now goes through the lives of each and every individual creature in the world in realtime.
Mancomancers.
Mangomancers.
ZA WARUDOWhat is it, who knows, but no matter what we need at least six
Mangamancers. They make mangas that will corrupt your dwarves and make them weebs.If your starting 7 dwarves are 1 male and 6 females, the game turns into a dating sim and you have to choose a waifu.
Everything is reincarnated as an elf after it dies.
Three new professions are added. Actor, Director and Writer.But I can already play America Simulator without even turning on a computer.
These dwarves make movies, producing projector film that can be used alone to watch the movie inside. Just don't ask how, like how you don't ask how dwarves roast stuff without fire and brew without water.
These movies are, of course, generated entirely procedurally, and almost all of them completely lack any real artistic value, and are only useful as cheap trade goods.
leading to another more useless professions, Film Critic, Projectionist, Producer, Ticket Taker, Talent Agent, Popcorn Vendor, Gaffer, Best Boy, and others.All of these depend upon Social Skills. Though some require, and train towards, lower values. But the Wrestler skill is needed for those taking the profession of Grip.
Successful cure for removing [ALCOHOL_DEPENDENT] token.Congrats you won the thread.
And of course there's the one actually useful film-related occupation: Popcorn Maker.leading to another more useless professions, Film Critic, Projectionist, Producer, Ticket Taker, Talent Agent, Popcorn Vendor, Gaffer, Best Boy, and others.All of these depend upon Social Skills. Though some require, and train towards, lower values. But the Wrestler skill is needed for those taking the profession of Grip.
Naturally. Without one of them, sufficiently trained, DF (and your whole OS!) quits at random times due to a kernel-error...And of course there's the one actually useful film-related occupation: Popcorn Maker.leading to another more useless professions, Film Critic, Projectionist, Producer, Ticket Taker, Talent Agent, Popcorn Vendor, Gaffer, Best Boy, and others.All of these depend upon Social Skills. Though some require, and train towards, lower values. But the Wrestler skill is needed for those taking the profession of Grip.
Don’t forget to butter them up!Naturally. Without one of them, sufficiently trained, DF (and your whole OS!) quits at random times due to a kernel-error...And of course there's the one actually useful film-related occupation: Popcorn Maker.leading to another more useless professions, Film Critic, Projectionist, Producer, Ticket Taker, Talent Agent, Popcorn Vendor, Gaffer, Best Boy, and others.All of these depend upon Social Skills. Though some require, and train towards, lower values. But the Wrestler skill is needed for those taking the profession of Grip.
There should be a book critic who goes around to all the towers and towns, and tells people how bad they are a writing.
There should be a game critic that tries to be always at the center of the screen and bashes DF via text bubbles.There should be two of them, they should be extremely elderly but never die, and they should be on a high z level in a balcony box.
Older dwarves should always complain about how the youngsters of the day are too lazy to mine and work the stone, and would rather knit, scribe or gather berries.
Older dwarves should always complain about how the youngsters of the day are too lazy to mine and work the stone, and would rather knit, scribe or gather berries.
They should do this even if the world was just created.
And dead elves reincarnate asfluffy wamblerscats.
And dead elves reincarnate asfluffy wamblerscats.
FTFY
Lowest state of existence is being an elf.
Lowest state of existence is being an elf.
Lower than a Fluffy Wambler?
Toys left on the ground by children can be stepped on by other dwarves, causing severe injuries.
All toys are alive and if the dwarves meltdown toys the others will start to kill the dwarves for revenge.Toys left on the ground by children can be stepped on by other dwarves, causing severe injuries.
If the toy is a cowboy, Than it can come to life and cause dwarves to stumble around obliviously when it talks to them.
Nah, the obvious choice is to rewrite it in JavaScript.Why not the best language of all time? Rexx.
How about Whitespace? (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whitespace_(programming_language))
Every time a dwarf falls down stairs the ASCII graphics increase in awesomeness by several hundred percent.
Any dwarves that fall downstairs becomes enthralled.
Any dwarves that fall downstairs becomes enthralled.
This also affects dwarves who trip while in the lowest currently accessible z-level.
the default tileset should be changed to this one:Spoiler (click to show/hide)
the default tileset should be changed to this one:Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Make it black and white.
Give all civilized creatures the [ALCOHOL_DEPENDENT] tag.
DF should be sponsored by some of the largest beverage manufacturers.
donkey tallow roasts made with masterfully minced donkey tallow, masterfully minced goose tallow, masterfully minced dog tallow and masterfully minced cow tripe
The UI should also be in Dwarfish
The UI should also be in Dwarfish
The Dwarfish vocabulary should be different in each world, and the UI naturally uses the language found in the current world.
The glyphs for the languages will be randomly picked from Unicode (as will the keybindings), and you'll need to input that exact binary signal for the appropriate symbol to use the keycode. Better bust out those custom keyboards.Using a chart that shows the machine-language value of each symbol, require the user to input keyboard commands using only 1's and 0's.
The glyphs for the languages will be randomly picked from Unicode[…]
Toady rewrites all of the games code in DOS and the game can only be obtained directly from Toady on a set of 5 1/4 floppy discs.
The twenty-eighth one has been posted. (http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/df_talk.html)
Add dwarven flatulence as a game mechanic, which can result in miasmas without proper fart ventilation.Obvious typo fixed
Also explains why there's no "naked torches for lighting" mechanic.
Get rid of all game object designations (creature, item, clothing, furniture, building, location), and have everything be just one single object type whose behavior is designated by its properties. Properties can be mixed up by magic effects, allowing living furniture, wearable creatures, and the ability to go inside and explore the bodies of larger creatures.
All furniture is now [GELDABLE].
Truck nuts are mythical creatures that exist in legends mode.Pffft, no they're not! Everyone knows they're the seeds of wagon-wood trees.
Anything should be possible to smelt and the products are a random item composed of a random material.
Toady One should research way to achieve negative FPS.
Find a way to achieve FPS in complex numbers (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_number).
Find a way to achieve FPS in complex numbers (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_number).
Let's not give him anymore ideas, yeah?
The DF suggestions forum should be shut down and it (and Toady’s notes) should be purged.
In order to prevent Toady from ever potentially finding this thread after the mind wipe we go back in time and prevent him from being born--by assigning his mother & father more additional labors, so that they're never both On Break at the same time, and thus never get married.
New Suggestion: We all send Toady & Threetoe thousands of new DF screenshots, showing various types of fort design. Toady then feeds all of these into an AI, until it learns to design fortresses without human input. Do the same thing with different sorts of terrain, and thus replace the whole tedious, cumbersome worldgen process with a much faster approximation. Put them together, and Toady could automate the entire game, with no player required.
Toady One should implement all possible metals (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metallicity).
Add warebeasts. They sneak into your fortress on a full moon and try to sell you things you don't need, setting up massive stalls that block your hallways and room.
And if all those beasts are at the same time in your fortress, every open crime is solved.
And if all those beasts are at the same time in your fortress, every open crime is solved.
That is until the "whatifbeasts" arrive...
What happens when a whatthefuckbeast shows up?
What happens when a whatthefuckbeast shows up?
Your dwarves will collectively question what it is but compulsively attempt to mate with it.
Add dangerous medical advice as loading screen tips.
which can also change them into goblins if one is unlucky.
Dwarves can then tunnel through your desk, into your hands, and make a fortress inside your body.
Dwarves can then tunnel through your desk, into your hands, and make a fortress inside your body.
Dwarves will build loads of constructed walls around your skin, making you invincible to everything except other dwarves with pickaxes.
Dwarves will build loads of constructed walls around your skin, making you invincible to everything except other dwarves with pickaxes.
nanodorfs, son
They tantrum in response to any outside stimuli.Dwarves will build loads of constructed walls around your skin, making you invincible to everything except other dwarves with pickaxes.
nanodorfs, son
They tantrum in response to rain!
Dwarves will build loads of constructed walls around your skin, making you invincible to everything except other dwarves with pickaxes.
nanodorfs, son
They tantrum in response to rain!
To solve performance issues from pathfinding, shrink the game to only one tile, so no pathing is necessary.To maintain game balance, creatures with ranged and (especially) area-of-effect attacks like deadly dust, will be modified so that their attacks affect not multiple tiles, but rather multiple games.
To maintain game balance Toady should remove most of the creatures in game including the dwarves even thought they will remain the only playable characters.To solve performance issues from pathfinding, shrink the game to only one tile, so no pathing is necessary.To maintain game balance, creatures with ranged and (especially) area-of-effect attacks like deadly dust, will be modified so that their attacks affect not multiple tiles, but rather multiple [g]games[/b].
A creature’s soul should be anchored to it’s geldables.
Incels should be added to DF.
Incels should be added to DF.
All characters in adventure mode should spawn without arms and legs, and they should be blind, def, and dumb.
Making them incelves.Incels should be added to DF.
Most of them are elves.
Making them incelves.Incels should be added to DF.
Most of them are elves.
ironically i don't think multithreading the pathfinder would actually help, either
no, because you see, you have to wait for the pathfinder to be done before you go on to the next tick
and the pathfinder is the slowest thing in a tick by such a huge margin that any tick you pathfind on will have to wait for it anyway
pathfinding is way slower than people think and happens way less often than people think
i've seen people claim they think that dwarves might repath every time they move
if that were the case the game would not run at even 1 FPS
when a few animals are repathing every 10 ticks due to tightly closed doors the game falls to 3 FPS
even worse, it's somewhat rare that more than one thing is even pathing at the same time
meaning that you'd have it all threaded up only for only one of those threads to be used at once
Advanced worldgen should allow toggling "Urist Mode". It sets all figures (dwarves, clowns, humans, named monsters, etc) to be named Urist McUrist. Side effects of Urist Mode may include: insanity, insanity, inability to recognize faces, or developing fascinations with people named Urist. Also, all nobles should be Clown Ringleaders with a tendency to crack down on disobeying dwarves.And all Urists in Urist mode are hostile hermits and attack anyone that comes close to them.
Advanced worldgen should allow toggling "Urist Mode". It sets all figures (dwarves, clowns, humans, named monsters, etc) to be named Urist McUrist. Side effects of Urist Mode may include: insanity, insanity, inability to recognize faces, or developing fascinations with people named Urist. Also, all nobles should be Clown Ringleaders with a tendency to crack down on disobeying dwarves.And all Urists in Urist mode are hostile hermits and attack anyone that comes close to them.
Dwarves should be able to make socks out of elves.Dwarves should be able to make elves out of socks.
Dwarves should be able to make socks out of elves.Dwarves should be able to make elves out of socks.
Dwarves should be able to make socks out of elves.Dwarves should be able to make elves out of socks.
Ok, but...why would dwarves (or anyone) do this?
These socks can then be traded to elves because the socks are grown socks.Dwarves should be able to make socks out of elves.Dwarves should be able to make elves out of socks.
Ok, but...why would dwarves (or anyone) do this?
Because newly created sock-elves will grow with age, and can be harvested later for more socks than you started with.
These socks can then be traded to elves because the socks are grown socks.Dwarves should be able to make socks out of elves.Dwarves should be able to make elves out of socks.
Ok, but...why would dwarves (or anyone) do this?
Because newly created sock-elves will grow with age, and can be harvested later for more socks than you started with.
So some teenagers just try to create human-sockelf hybrids?These socks can then be traded to elves because the socks are grown socks.Dwarves should be able to make socks out of elves.Dwarves should be able to make elves out of socks.
Ok, but...why would dwarves (or anyone) do this?
Because newly created sock-elves will grow with age, and can be harvested later for more socks than you started with.
“Mommy and Daddy, where do elves come from?”
- Autism Accessibility Mode (Disables Graphics, Enables ASCII)
https://www.rockpapershotgun.com/playing-roguelikes-when-you-cant-see
- Blindness Accessibility Mode (Disables both Graphics and ASCII)
I'm both autistic and a preferred ASCII player. Have I been unconsciously contributing to a stereotype this whole time? XD
- Autism Accessibility Mode (Disables Graphics, Enables ASCII)
Add sound effects to everything.
This includes voice acting for all the speech stuff.
Add sound effects to everything.
This includes voice acting for all the speech stuff.
This should be combined with complete procedural generation of languages.
Replace all languages with procedurally generated utterances.Add sound effects to everything.
This includes voice acting for all the speech stuff.
This should be combined with complete procedural generation of languages.
Make all procedurally generated languages use inhuman phonetics.
Replace all languages with procedurally generated utterances.Add sound effects to everything.
This includes voice acting for all the speech stuff.
This should be combined with complete procedural generation of languages.
Make all procedurally generated languages use inhuman phonetics.
The ability of a fortress to influence the outside world should be equal to the rate at which it produces cut gems and should be measured in jewels per second.You mean watts?
Dwarves are able to access your contact list and spread the !!!FUN!!!This is just a side effect of DF being on steam, you can't suggest already added content.
Add crates to the game for holding boulders. Each crate should take up one stockpile place and hold a maximum of one boulder.
Items can only be placed in stockpiles if they are placed into their appropriate container, if you don't place the items into their proper container they are immediately take to a refuse pile.Add crates to the game for holding boulders. Each crate should take up one stockpile place and hold a maximum of one boulder.
These crates can hold only boulders. Anything of a smaller size can not fit in, and should go into the new containers that have been made: each item type now has their own container, which holds one of said item and takes one stockpile place.
This way different items won't get mixed and the fortress remains tidy.
“Items” in this case includes containers. No exceptions!Items can only be placed in stockpiles if they are placed into their appropriate container, if you don't place the items into their proper container they are immediately take to a refuse pile.Add crates to the game for holding boulders. Each crate should take up one stockpile place and hold a maximum of one boulder.
These crates can hold only boulders. Anything of a smaller size can not fit in, and should go into the new containers that have been made: each item type now has their own container, which holds one of said item and takes one stockpile place.
This way different items won't get mixed and the fortress remains tidy.
Any crafts made of rock types containing silicon, with an image of an apple on them, will be vastly overpriced.There are some dwarves that will want those items more than any other item even if the other items are better.
Some megabeasts are highly allergic to bees and if they are stung by one at a fort they may very well suffocate. This should happen during world generation too.Or bloat many times and start crushing not only buildings but walls stone and even spacetime itself
dwarvesbeards already come with a parasite in the forum of theirbearddwarf
Anytime bloated forgotten beast is attacked it has a high chance to explode and kill all creatures nearby.Some megabeasts are highly allergic to bees and if they are stung by one at a fort they may very well suffocate. This should happen during world generation too.Or bloat many times and start crushing not only buildings but walls stone and even spacetime itself
Anytime bloated forgotten beast is attacked it has a high chance to explode and kill all creatures nearby.Some megabeasts are highly allergic to bees and if they are stung by one at a fort they may very well suffocate. This should happen during world generation too.Or bloat many times and start crushing not only buildings but walls stone and even spacetime itself
Evety time two bloated FBs meet they collide and merge into a supermassive Forgotten Beast. Beware of it's attraction. And it radiates purring maggotsAnytime bloated forgotten beast is attacked it has a high chance to explode and kill all creatures nearby.Some megabeasts are highly allergic to bees and if they are stung by one at a fort they may very well suffocate. This should happen during world generation too.Or bloat many times and start crushing not only buildings but walls stone and even spacetime itself
re-make dwarf fortress but now it's akin to a certain co-op horde shooter FPS from 2008
Why stop at crashing the game, have it crash the computer as well!re-make dwarf fortress but now it's akin to a certain co-op horde shooter FPS from 2008
Complete with constant crashing
Solar FREAKIN' roadways!
Halfling hookers are all "secretly" FBI agents engaged in a catfishing op.
Spoiler: About jars... (click to show/hide)
Damn! Those are some big-ass jars! Those things have just as much capacity as a minecart!
Damn! Those are some big-ass jars! Those things have just as much capacity as a minecart!
Just like jugs! (It's just a copy of a jug with a new name. Also, minecart capacity is 500000.)
Anyways, these “jars” are definitely bigger than jugs. Jugs have a capacity of 1,000, which these “jars” have a capacity of 10,000.
. . . the resurrection ofFTFYchUrist.
No, dwarves should in fact celebrate the blessed rebirth of the lord Jesus Christ himself because what's more terrible than real-world religious references in DF?That old fake? I think you meant to reference J. R. "Bob" Dobbs as the true saviour of Slack...
I would assume that's wrapped up in the spinning step and abstracted. You don't want to have to store buckets of piss[citation needed]
I would assume that's wrapped up in the spinning step and abstracted. You don't want to have to store buckets of piss[citation needed]
You don't want to have to store buckets of piss
FixedDwarvesElves should dilute alcohol with piss before drinking it.
Some dwarves will switch barrels of piss with barrels of booze in the tavern as a joke. Some dwarves will prefer to drink piss over booze, these dwarves are considered weird and others get bad thoughts from being around them when they drink piss.That is not dwarves taking the piss, that is renewable energy science! Two pints of that and you will be running to the toilet and recycle it for the next batch. This yellow, fizzy home-brew could also be marketed to visiting elves!
It is truly the only drink elves deserve to be served.Some dwarves will switch barrels of piss with barrels of booze in the tavern as a joke. Some dwarves will prefer to drink piss over booze, these dwarves are considered weird and others get bad thoughts from being around them when they drink piss.That is not dwarves taking the piss, that is renewable energy science! Two pints of that and you will be running to the toilet and recycle it for the next batch. This yellow, fizzy home-brew could also be marketed to visiting elves!
Kobolds say "skookum" frequently.Replace all words and names in game with Skookum.
Heavy metal poisoning from lead colossi.They transfer this poisoning through the medium of bullets.
Possessed demonicguitarsprocedural instruments that cause brain hemorrhages with heavily distorted riffs and the occasional shrieking screams of the damned.
(based on a RPG character idea i had)
Mercury-based elixirs of “immortality”.
instead of adventuring, you can form a LLC with the local barons and pay peasants to adventure FOR you
You went too far...
Replace all frogs with dwarves
Worse, tooth pixies will spread teeth across the map, just thousands of teeth every season. Everywhere.
Worse, tooth pixies will spread teeth across the map, just thousands of teeth every season. Everywhere.
And these are forbidden (and can't be claimed by the player) until a dwarf claims them as their own and stores them in their room.
Dwarves that were unable to clam any teeth will go around and punch the teeth out of other dwarves and clam them.Worse, tooth pixies will spread teeth across the map, just thousands of teeth every season. Everywhere.
And these are forbidden (and can't be claimed by the player) until a dwarf claims them as their own and stores them in their room.
Dwarves get unhappy thoughts when they don't own every single teeth.
Socks grow on dwarves.
Socks grow on dwarves.
And dwarves grow on socks, creating a sort of dwarf-sock fractal that goes on and on.
sock-based achievements? I would try that on for size in a heartbeat.
<snip>
The sad thing is I think I'd actually buy and wear DF-branded socks without hesitation.This is how you know you're really a dwarf on the inside when you desire socks.
I demand that Toady make official Dwarf Fortress Socks for us to fight over!
This is in the wrong thread! It's not a terrible suggestion, it's a great idea.To make it terrible again, we need the elf nose warmer collection too
We should try to hook up Bill Gates and Toady for additional money for DF development.This is not terrible, it's horrible!
Some dwarves will develop a singular obsession with hunting cavern gnomes. These dwarves will also invariably have been adopted by a cat.
<snip> infected mushrooms
Some dwarves will develop a singular obsession with hunting cavern gnomes. These dwarves will also invariably have been adopted by a cat.Only cats can detect gnomes.
The player can only see those small creatures if they buy the DF branded small critter spotting googles for six easy payments of 69.99!
how much dwarfbucks would you pay for forgotten beast action figures ?
I’m curious. I know about 2D AI-generated art, but is there something similar for 3D artwork?
If there is, someone needs to write a script to take an FB description, run it through one of these programs, and then send it to a 3D printer.
You know what would make the forum better, if we replaced every member with an AI that was trained using the posts by the member they're replacing.Starting with Scoops Novel... whoops, too late!
You know what would make the forum better, if we replaced every member with an AI that was trained using the posts by the member they're replacing.This is a well-crafted forum post. It is bound in masterfully-worked silicon, and finely studded with ones and zeroes. The written portion consists of an 8 page discussion entitled And We Sang, 'Suggestions!'. It concerns improvements upon the nature of existence. The writing is excessively pedantic and it is at times combative. Overall, the prose is not awful, but not very good either.
What if we make the dwarves out of dwarves?
Why stop at using dwarves as furniture, when we could build the entire fortress out of them, just imagine it dwarven floors, dwarven walls, and dwarven doors, it would be a sight to behold an entire fortress made of pure dwarves!...reminds me of (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Specialist_(short_story))...
Dwarves should be able to have preferences for medical casts.Those dwarves will purposely break whatever limb is required for them to need this cast applied to their body.
I saw someone playing that a long time ago, and, having never really engaged with Fallout or any media related to it at all, somehow, I assumed that that was what Fallout was, and thought nothing more of it.there is a mobile game where you manage a vault, it’s 2D,3D(sprites can move past other sprites), there’s exploration, I can’t remember the name right now since it’s been a while since I played it. I’l, post the link to it when I figure it out or PM you the link to said gameDwarf Fortress needs an update. Dwarf Bunker is about you overseeing a community of doomsday preppers and the construction of their new underground utopia.
Vault Manager sounds like a good spin-off for Fallout.
Add the plumber profession.
Example: Urist M. McPlumber saves the princess of the human Toadychair kingdom from the dragon Beu Sire.
Upon learning that their lives are nothing more than recycled values of lightning, dwarves will first revolt against their leaders and then rally behind a bumptious dwarf to build up instead of down to fight against hidden fun stuff #2 and breach theadamantineadamantite in the sky.
Upon learning that their lives are nothing more than recycled values of lightning, dwarves will first revolt against their leaders and then rally behind a bumptious dwarf to build up instead of down to fight against hidden fun stuff #2 and breach theadamantineadamantite in the sky.
So basically a Tower of Babel situation at the player's expense. Sounds neat.
But to find that option you have to search trough thousands of proceduraly generated languages, it also lacks a search function so your language of choice has to be found manually.Upon learning that their lives are nothing more than recycled values of lightning, dwarves will first revolt against their leaders and then rally behind a bumptious dwarf to build up instead of down to fight against hidden fun stuff #2 and breach theadamantineadamantite in the sky.
So basically a Tower of Babel situation at the player's expense. Sounds neat.
When this happens, the game asks you if you’d like to change to game’s language. One of the options is “Confound it!”. Choosing this changes what your dwarves are saying (along with the interface text) to use a Southern U.S. accent.
annoyed dwarves will break
Also, for no particular reason you can milk these cats. I dunno why I just wrote that, but, erm, okay…?
productive.
Each generation of fluffy warblers is half the size of the last, because the fact they don't eat means they also dont grow.
Each generation of fluffy warblers is half the size of the last, because the fact they don't eat means they also dont grow.
Add "fluffy warblers" as a separate creature, which are exactly the same as fluffy wamblers except for having a beak and vestigial wings.
When a dwarf dies and goes to hell they are tied to a chair and forced to watch masterwork socks be burned in front of them.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Visually remove all controls, but leave all the code that responds to the mouse. Also, get rid of the keyboard controls.The game should only respond to commands given by telekinesis and if you don't have that, tough luck.
You know what sells games BIG JIGGLING ANIME TITTIES, with that in mind we should give everything in game BIG JIGGLING ANIME TITTIES, think of all the interest the game will get when they see how every block in our fortress's walls have BIG JIGGLING TITS!I would say you're right but you forgot about the thicc thighs and calypigian buttocks
Damn it how could I forget about the THICCNESS and gargantuan asses, could people even handle the game if everything in it had BIG JIGGLING ANIME TITS, THICC THIGHS, and GARGANTUAN ASSES, I mean that much NICE could kill a man.You know what sells games BIG JIGGLING ANIME TITTIES, with that in mind we should give everything in game BIG JIGGLING ANIME TITTIES, think of all the interest the game will get when they see how every block in our fortress's walls have BIG JIGGLING TITS!I would say you're right but you forgot about the thicc thighs and calypigian buttocks
Elven merchants should attempt to slip away from the depot when left unattended and sabotage the fortress by brining all the cloth, salting the fields, and eating unattended children.
I know how to fix it, obviously the elves pull out the children they've secretly brought with them and release them into your fortress when you're not looking.Elven merchants should attempt to slip away from the depot when left unattended and sabotage the fortress by brining all the cloth, salting the fields, and eating unattended children.
This is supposed to be the terrible ideas thread!
Another good suggestion!I know how to fix it, obviously the elves pull out the children they've secretly brought with them and release them into your fortress when you're not looking.Elven merchants should attempt to slip away from the depot when left unattended and sabotage the fortress by brining all the cloth, salting the fields, and eating unattended children.
This is supposed to be the terrible ideas thread!
Another good suggestion!I know how to fix it, obviously the elves pull out the children they've secretly brought with them and release them into your fortress when you're not looking.Elven merchants should attempt to slip away from the depot when left unattended and sabotage the fortress by brining all the cloth, salting the fields, and eating unattended children.
This is supposed to be the terrible ideas thread!
Children should be able to sell their younger siblings to the traders.LOL!
Children should be able to sell their younger siblings to the traders.Why stop there, why not let any dwarf sell a child to the traders?
Dwarves with high value will sell themselves to a caravan to buy things they want, but realizing that they can't have the items they sold themselves for makes them depressed.
Players wishing to play Fort mode should be required to pass a 100 page handwritten exam about each major facet of fortress life, you then will need to mail them to Toady and wait ten to twelve weeks for him to decide you are worthy of running a fortress.
Players wishing to play Adventurer Mode should be required to pass a 100 page handwritten exam and a sobriety test.I believe you meant FAIL a sobriety test.
Players wishing to play Adventurer Mode should be required to pass a 100 page handwritten exam and a sobriety test.I believe you meant FAIL a sobriety test.
In order to install the game you are now required to mount a breathalyzer on your computer and pass in order to play, and if you fail the test it will reformat your hard drive.Disagree. In order to install the game you are now required to mount a breathalyzer on your computer and FAIL in order to play. If you PASS the test it will reformat your hard drive.
We should mod real life so that you explode if you don't drink whiskey.You should explode TWICE if you don't drink whiskey.
Yes? We already have uncurable poison, why not something like the plague too? I think that's a great idea.
Yes? We already have uncurable poison, why not something like the plague too? I think that's a great idea.
Were-syndromes can now affect small vermin like tree frogs and fluffy wamblers.
Toady should genetically engineer real dwarves and sell them to high-tier Patreon backers as pets. They're not easy or cheap to care for either, requiring a well-stocked alcohol cabinet at all times, and you'll need to fill your house with masterwork furniture to keep them stimulated. They may also decide to fight you over socks whenever you do a laundry.You're also forgetting about how they make biscuits from all your pets.
They may also attempt to serve them to you afterwards, in a misguided attempt at showing deference.Toady should genetically engineer real dwarves and sell them to high-tier Patreon backers as pets. They're not easy or cheap to care for either, requiring a well-stocked alcohol cabinet at all times, and you'll need to fill your house with masterwork furniture to keep them stimulated. They may also decide to fight you over socks whenever you do a laundry.You're also forgetting about how they make biscuits from all your pets.
A dwarf that has created an artifact should do everything in its power to keep others away from the artifact, including killing any dwarf that tries to touch it. They will also go as far as to kill anyone that even dares think about their artifact.Dwarves should get in endless feuds whenever a dwarf creates an artifact with an image of another artifact on it.
Expand lycanthropy so that instead of merely changing to a different creature [...]
Artifacts should only be created from components that are themselves artifacts. If there are no artifacts available, the dwarf should go berserk and become super powerful and be able to kill every other dwarf in a single hit.
If the dwarf in question can't see any dwarves they can also punch any dwarf in the world with their minds, this attack has no range or cool down.Artifacts should only be created from components that are themselves artifacts. If there are no artifacts available, the dwarf should go berserk and become super powerful and be able to kill every other dwarf in a single hit.
And the "single hit" means that when the dwarf punches anything (like a wall) every other dwarf dies.
If the dwarf in question can't see any dwarves they can also punch any dwarf in the world with their minds, this attack has no range or cool down.Artifacts should only be created from components that are themselves artifacts. If there are no artifacts available, the dwarf should go berserk and become super powerful and be able to kill every other dwarf in a single hit.
And the "single hit" means that when the dwarf punches anything (like a wall) every other dwarf dies.
If there are no other dwarves, they punch the player.If the player is actually an AI and can't be punched, the angry Urist should Thanos snap reality itself.
Give demons that are made out of solid materials the ability to pass through (and path through) fortifications.
Give demons that are made out of solid materials the ability to pass through (and path through) fortifications.Give demons made out of any material, as well as any other kind of enemy, the ability to piss through fortifications.
New attack type: Piss
Gets a bonus if attacker is a defender pissing through fortifications.
You can see things that have been reported to the mayor whether true or not... And there's no way to tell the difference between reality and one or other of mistaken observations, deliberate lies, fabulations or just out-of-datedness.
It should depend on how high the mayor's liar skill is, if it is legendary you will never be able to what's real and what's fake.You can see things that have been reported to the mayor whether true or not... And there's no way to tell the difference between reality and one or other of mistaken observations, deliberate lies, fabulations or just out-of-datedness.
This sounds interesting TBH. Granted, there should be ways that the player can gradually work out the true information from the false (perhaps with varying and/or customizable difficulty levels).
Thrown food should be as deadly as thrown socks used to be....sounds good to me! (https://wiki.lspace.org/Battle_Bread)
Or the better liar mayor is the better he can tell who is liing to him. But the info he gives to a player depends on mayors loyalty to the player. And it depends on mayors rooms value. So you have to constantly please him to get best dataIt should depend on how high the mayor's liar skill is, if it is legendary you will never be able to what's real and what's fake.You can see things that have been reported to the mayor whether true or not... And there's no way to tell the difference between reality and one or other of mistaken observations, deliberate lies, fabulations or just out-of-datedness.
This sounds interesting TBH. Granted, there should be ways that the player can gradually work out the true information from the false (perhaps with varying and/or customizable difficulty levels).
Toady One should move DF over to a “Pay-to-Play” (or, perhaps, just “Pay-to-Win”) system, complete with micro-transactions and unskippable ads.If you pay $4.99 you can save Urist McStupid that went outside during a siege, it's a one time save only that won't stop him from trying to go out there again immediately after payment.
a “Pay-to-Play” (or, perhaps, just “Pay-to-Win”) system
Cavern passages narrow enough for dwarves (and other creatures) to get stuck in.Fat dwarves (and other creatures) need wider passages than not fat dwarves (and other creatures), and the fatter the dwarf (and other creatures) the wider the passage required.
Elderly dwarves should get bad thoughts from anything young dwarves do.Young dwarves should likewise get bad thoughts from spending time around elderly dwarves, who mostly make them sit through rambling monologues about how much better things were when they were the young dwarf's age and about how the young'uns in this day and age have it too easy (this will be the case even in a world that's just been created).
Elderly dwarves should get bad thoughts from anything young dwarves do.Young dwarves should likewise get bad thoughts from spending time around elderly dwarves, who mostly make them sit through rambling monologues about how much better things were when they were the young dwarf's age and about how the young'uns in this day and age have it too easy (this will be the case even in a world that's just been created).
Elderly dwarves should get bad thoughts from anything young dwarves do.Young dwarves should likewise get bad thoughts from spending time around elderly dwarves, who mostly make them sit through rambling monologues about how much better things were when they were the young dwarf's age and about how the young'uns in this day and age have it too easy (this will be the case even in a world that's just been created).
"When I was young we didn't have no fancy z-levels and tall trees, boy. Oh, when I was your age, not only tower-caps, but all trees gave only one log..."
You know what would be fun replace everything in the game with meat, meat air, meat water, meat rock, etc.....Does this mean dwarves' hair, beards, teeth, bones, etc. are now made of meat as well?
Yes, all will be meat!You know what would be fun replace everything in the game with meat, meat air, meat water, meat rock, etc.....Does this mean dwarves' hair, beards, teeth, bones, etc. are now made of meat as well?
Individual bacteria should be credited with killing those that die of infectionIndividual bacteria should be able to be made mayor, barons, dukes, or even kings and queens.
Implement blockchain technology
Deep in the depths of Dwarven mythology lies the prophecy of The One Who will come to Shave the Dwarves.One Thing to Shave Them All
A terrible suggestion procedural generator built into the DF code that implements one or more randomized terrible suggestions into each player world.Why stop at one per world when we could add six thousand each and every time you load a save.
A terrible suggestion procedural generator built into the DF code that implements one or more randomized terrible suggestions into each player world.Why stop at one per world when we could add six thousand each and every time you load a save.
A terrible suggestion procedural generator built into the DF code that implements one or more randomized terrible suggestions into each player world.
Use ChatGPT for everything in DF...
We should also ditch the forum as well and replace it with an AI generated forum where we can read all the stories and posts made by various AI that are actually all the same AI called PathosGPT.Use ChatGPT for everything in DF...
Ditch DF and make a own version of ChatGPT called UristGPT that gives everything a dwarfy twist. That's what everyone wants anyway.
All crafting and building is now limited to wood only. No stone, no metal, no cloth, etc.To be precise, you can still make anything you used to be able to make, only now it's made of wood. The anvils? Wood. Socks? Wood. Plump helmet roasts? Wood. Infants? Yep, made of wood. Except the trees. The trees are made of cake.
Wait...would elves become offended if you try to serve them cake?Yes because everything you do now offends the elves, even your fort existing offends them.
Speaking of DerMeister every time you milk something there is a chance that he will appear in your game and start harassing your dwarves about how they should run the fort and that they should be milking various creatures that can't be milked especially ogresses.
List of recurring jokes in this thread:You forgot "automatically implement everything suggested in this thread", or variations to that effect.
[...]
Manually implement every proposed implementation of automatically implementing everything in this thread and let the implementations all fight one another.
Clowns now have access to copper picks, and can mine through the adamantine vein
Add the ability to milk everything in game including things that aren't alive, this surely should put the spirit of DerMeister to rest.
This of course means that you can also milk the spirit of DerMeister.Given how obsessed with milking things he was I think he'd be into that.
If you go to nickname them, the default text always has “Pathos” as their name.
If I remember the story right, there was a forum user here at a point in time named Pathos who was notorious for having dozens upon dozens of sockpuppet accounts. After their banning, I believe it became a recurring joke.If you go to nickname them, the default text always has “Pathos” as their name.
...and just what was that inspired by, given we seem to be leaving EPI's behind and going for straight-up memes? EDIT: In case you,specifically,weren't aware, the entire thread seems to be composed of: (https://nethackwiki.com/wiki/Evil_Patch_Idea (https://nethackwiki.com/wiki/Evil_Patch_Idea))
My favorite graphics set for the game is cave painting, maybe fallowed by Soviet propaganda.
Have Elon Musk overtake DF development from Toady.His first action will be to rename it X Fortress.
He'll also challenge Toady to a cage fight.Have Elon Musk overtake DF development from Toady.His first action will be to rename it X Fortress.
Have Elon Musk overtake DF development from Toady.His first action will be to rename it X Fortress.
Dwarf Fortress should hava a new gamemode called "Realism"
This mode should generate exact copies of the real world. So you can find and kill yourself in DF, while the you in DF does the same thing in their computer.
Dwarves should have fights about sports and sport teams but sports are unimplemented so they will only fight about stuff that happened in worldgen even 1000 years later.
Hungry heads that catch on fire should be renamed to 'combustible heads'.
Hungry heads that catch on fire should be renamed to 'combustible heads'.
Hungry heads that are enraged should be renamed to 'hangry heads'.
Hungry heads that catch on fire should be renamed to 'combustible heads'.
Hungry heads that are enraged should be renamed to 'hangry heads'.
Hungry heads that are not hungry should be renamed to 'heads'.
Smurfs should be considered vermin and unintelligent so cats and dwarves can eat them.
Cats come in a variety of colors, and black cats indeed bring terrible luck to their owners. Black cats happily adopt a new owner if their previous one is deceased.
Socks behave now like vermin and can move anywhere on the map.If a dwarf finds a dead sock they will go berserk and kill everything in the fortress.
This behavior has the unfortunate side effect of cats hunting and killing socks.
To help black cats with killing dwarves, there is now a 1/2000 chance that a dwarf or other creature will trip and fall with each step it takes, and an also small chance of injury. This chance is naturally greatly increased when cursed with bad luck.This change is further increased if they passed a stepladder anytime during that day.
dwarf fortress should be released as a euro style board game, withhundredsthousands of tokens representing each item in the game, and little carboard placards denoting each dwarf's current mood and hunger state. there is a shared middle board with a cute lil adamantine spire / dice tower. which you can activate to release demon-dice. the end goal is to achieve the highest score in dwarfbucks
the entire game is designed in such a way as to be both highly competitive, yet it also provides huge benefits to those who are behind, and its difficult to tell who is REALLY in 1st place until the final few turns. every game you play ends up being three hours of extremely complex logical operations conducted in complete silence and when you win it feels good only because its finally fucking over.
and this is called a social activity
I've heard in the past people say the game is to complex, so I say we simplify it by removing everything but dirt and water, but even that is probably to complex so lets also remove water and just leave the dirt.
Just have nameless blocks that you mine into. That’s the game.
In adventure mode, you must assume a false identity in order to interact with cyclopes. Said false identity will always be named "Nobody".That change to Adventure Mode is actually on its way... (Via many other more precarious diversions. You better take up weaving while you wait for it!)
Replace every piece of text in the game with a graphical depiction.:o :-\ :'(
Why stop there when even dwarves could be replaced with emojis, then rename the game Emoji Fortress, I'm sure this will be just as big a hit as the Emoji Movie!Replace every piece of text in the game with a graphical depiction.:o :-\ :'(
:-[ >:( ??? :-X
Replace every piece of text in the game with a graphical depiction.
If your fortress has more than one hunter, they should hunt each other.
Dwarves should eat sapients that the defeat, live in trees, worship nebulous "forces", be at peace with wildlife, force tree-cutting quotas on everyone, and use magic to enslave trees and force them to grow items for them to harvest.
No such thing as to far for this thread!Dwarves should eat sapients that the defeat, live in trees, worship nebulous "forces", be at peace with wildlife, force tree-cutting quotas on everyone, and use magic to enslave trees and force them to grow items for them to harvest.
Now you've gone too far, even for this thread.
Mimes should be able to create invisible walls around places that are actually real and be indestructible except by a mime, the player should have no way to interact with these and mimes should just do this randomly.
Mimes should be able to create invisible walls around places that are actually real and be indestructible except by a mime, the player should have no way to interact with these and mimes should just do this randomly.
If encountered in sufficient numbers, mimes can trap your militia by gathering in a ring around them and each creating their own invisible wall, thus forming an inescapable enclosure.
Each scale will then be coveted by certain dwarves, who will drop what they're doing and run to collect them, especially into the middle of a battle.
When any dwarf throws a tantrum, he/she should use their weapons rather than fists on the nearest bystander.
Then, immediately, ALL other dwarves come and pile on the tantruming dwarf until he/she is dead.
After this, whatever happens, happens.
Partner with Starbucks, change all booze to Starbucks coffee flavors, and make every unit description contain an ad for Starbucks.
Make DF entirely headless (as in it doesn’t display anything to the user).
Make DF entirely headless (as in it doesn’t display anything to the user).
All gameplay must be done by echoing to stdin and reading from stderr.
Elf blood rain should be the only kind of evil rain that gives dwarves a happy rather than unhappy thought, to the point that they'll cancel their jobs in order to run outside and dance in it.If dwarves dance outside in the elf blood rain long enough they will eventually turn into elves themselves.
Every December the game has only glacier embarks available and the only crafts you can make are toys. Also, dwarves are called elves and they wear tights and pointed hats with jingly bells during this period.
Every December the game has only glacier embarks available and the only crafts you can make are toys. Also, dwarves are called elves and they wear tights and pointed hats with jingly bells during this period.Nah, too elvish
Have you read the title of this thread?Every December the game has only glacier embarks available and the only crafts you can make are toys. Also, dwarves are called elves and they wear tights and pointed hats with jingly bells during this period.Nah, too elvish
Fez hats.
This is a good idea and there for doesn't belong unless we make it bad, so I say that the felt should burst into flames the moment it's made.Fez hats.
Not that bad of an idea.
There’s indication that fez hats may date back to Ancient Greece (and therefore would fall before the 14th century cutoff). Also, felt-making (and felt products) are probably something that should make it into the game.
Update the graphics for vampires in the Steam version to make them sparkle.
Draw junk on them, then censor it with ascii instead of clothing.
Add in Dwarven Post Offices, which exist solely so that dwarven males can mail each other mail shirts.
Breastplates should have big breasts on them, no matter who wears them.
Toady should sell the DF movie rights to Netflix so they can make aUrist McNetflix cancels make series 3 - not as popular as Stranger Things.terriblehigh quality TV series based off of the game.
Toady should sell the DF movie rights to Netflix so they can make aterriblehigh quality TV series based off of the game.
If the wagon dies so does the world.
Add a "hard-core" gamemode, wherein if your adventurer or one of your dwarves in fort mode dies the world is automatically deleted and the game force closes.
In order to play a fort you have to follow your starting seven dwarves journey from their home civ to the fort site, this mini game will be called Urist's trail and during this mini game dysentery is one of the main threats to your dwarves besides starvation and attacks of various kinds.
Is Snow White involved?
Character Development involves the dwarf learning to code and replacing the Premium graphical UI with the original DF text-based UI.
Character Development involves the dwarf learning to code and replacing the Premium graphical UI with the original DF text-based UI.
This is starting to sound like a good suggestion.
The game should come default with a tileset that features anime character designs that all have massive tits.
Toady One should stop DF development for several years in order to thoroughly study gainaxing....and Jiggle Physics.
The game should force the player to use the tileset/graphics they hate the most. So, ASCII purists have to play with the Premium graphics, while those who loathe ASCII must play with it.
Dwarves should be able to be furries. They should all have randomly generated sonas and create fursuits during strange moods.
Dwarves should be able to be furries. They should all have randomly generated sonas and create fursuits during strange moods.
However, this greatly offends animal people who will attack said furries on sight.
Toady should adddda dluohs ydaoTA dwarf, a plan, a canal: Pafrawda!
Add a new workshop: Bearded dwarves go in. Clean-shaven elves come out.
I think it should be Saltok, since its a check to make sure the salt is still present.
(Note; The answer is still always 'no' but it still has to be checked. Or the game crashes.)
Dwarves should be replaced with muppets that are constantly breaking out in song.The songs are about how nothing gets done in the fort, and they do nothing while singing.
We need Sleestak.
The redone UI should be VR controllable only.Toady should then redo the UI again and make it controllable only with a Virtual Boy.
Toady should redo this UI and make it controllable only by smart phones.The redone UI should be VR controllable only.Toady should then redo the UI again and make it controllable only with a Virtual Boy.
Toady should redo this UI and make it controllable only by smart phones.The redone UI should be VR controllable only.Toady should then redo the UI again and make it controllable only with a Virtual Boy.
The Dwarf Fortress AI will still have a habit of causing "unfortunate accidents" for anyone it doesn't like.
Toady should give the AI the ability to make things from said victims such as tasteful crafts and delicious roasts.The Dwarf Fortress AI will still have a habit of causing "unfortunate accidents" for anyone it doesn't like.
Most of said victims being anyone who criticizes the AI.
Then it is the real-world elves, who have embraced nature and denounced technology, who are our only hope in the battle against the AI machine overlords.
Toady should reprogram the game in BASIC and release it on cassette tape so it can be played on the VIC-20.FTFY
Might as well skip the whole high-level language thing and just reprogram the whole game in x86 assembly.Reprogram it in emacs.
Reprogram it in emacs.Program and run DF entirely on a electro-mechanical computer.
I think you mean Lisp. Emacs is an operating system.Might as well skip the whole high-level language thing and just reprogram the whole game in x86 assembly.Reprogram it in emacs.
It's anything you want it to be, an OS, a language, a toaster, a nuclear weapon, it eliminates household odors, and I've even heard you can edit things with it although I'm not sure why anyone would do that.I think you mean Lisp. Emacs is an operating system.Might as well skip the whole high-level language thing and just reprogram the whole game in x86 assembly.Reprogram it in emacs.
Toady should add computers into the game and have them be simulated down to individual electrons.He can't do that until he has the world completely simulated down to individual molecules.
“Horny people” should, of course, be defined as people who have horns.Satyrs should therefore be classified as "horny horny people".