Second one isn't useless, you could keep someone alive easily that way. That would be a really useful artifact actually.Yes. Like every enemy you kill. This is DnD, after all. The first dungeon you go to your mates will be sending you to stand around six miles away so they can actually get through it.
Well you don't need to be wearing it when you enter. It says it reanimates within 6 miles of the wearer. So you could carry it in your inventory and if a partymember dies, put it on and take it off, more enemies to grind and person's back alive again.If it worked like that it would also resurrect every dead enemy within 6 miles of the wearer in addition to the party member, but it's implied it only works when it's on, so if anyone dies while it's off they're shit outta luck!
Well you don't need to be wearing it when you enter. It says it reanimates within 6 miles of the wearer. So you could carry it in your inventory and if a partymember dies, put it on and take it off, more enemies to grind and person's back alive again.You'd have to put it on right as the party member is going to die.
Alternatively, you build your own city and make people pay to live there.Second one isn't useless, you could keep someone alive easily that way. That would be a really useful artifact actually.Yes. Like every enemy you kill. This is DnD, after all. The first dungeon you go to your mates will be sending you to stand around six miles away so they can actually get through it.
Ring of Magnification - When worn, the user's vision is magnified 300%. This is not controllable.
Hey, it's silly.Ring of Magnification - When worn, the user's vision is magnified 300%. This is not controllable.
That would... Actually be pretty useful. Just not as much as it could be.
I suppose. Not silly if you needed it, though. :PHey, it's silly.Ring of Magnification - When worn, the user's vision is magnified 300%. This is not controllable.
That would... Actually be pretty useful. Just not as much as it could be.
Ring of Sexiness - A ring that make the wearer sexually attractive to anything that the wearer isn't attracted to. Doesn't not work if the affected was asexual.Technically, this is quite useful if you needed it. You'd have to take one for the team, but it would make you a great negotiator, especially if the wearer is asexual.
Spoon of Nonholding: A wooden spoon that flings anything scooped with it at the user.Perfect for infomercials!
Well, I suppose it'd be different if the ring was cursed as well.Ring of Sexiness - A ring that make the wearer sexually attractive to anything that the wearer isn't attracted to. Doesn't not work if the affected was asexual.Technically, this is quite useful if you needed it. You'd have to take one for the team, but it would make you a great negotiator, especially if the wearer is asexual.
Lance of Apollonius: A powerful lance that will continuously approach it's target yet never reach them.Should have named this the Lance of Zeno.
Imagine every living thing in the area trying to bang you at the same time, including people, animals, and bugs.Well, I suppose it'd be different if the ring was cursed as well.Ring of Sexiness - A ring that make the wearer sexually attractive to anything that the wearer isn't attracted to. Doesn't not work if the affected was asexual.Technically, this is quite useful if you needed it. You'd have to take one for the team, but it would make you a great negotiator, especially if the wearer is asexual.
Also it'd affect the PCs. (And might break reality if the wearer looked into the mirror)
Ring of Sexiness - A ring that make the wearer sexually attractive to anything that the wearer isn't attracted to. Doesn't not work if the affected was asexual.Wouldn't it logically make everything attracted to the wearer?
Everything is.Ring of Sexiness - A ring that make the wearer sexually attractive to anything that the wearer isn't attracted to. Doesn't not work if the affected was asexual.Technically, this is quite useful if you needed it. You'd have to take one for the team, but it would make you a great negotiator, especially if the wearer is asexual.
Quite. The aim of that comment was to indirectly say that we should stop criticizing each other's magic items because it will quickly devolve into unpleasantness, especially if reciprocated.Everything is.Ring of Sexiness - A ring that make the wearer sexually attractive to anything that the wearer isn't attracted to. Doesn't not work if the affected was asexual.Technically, this is quite useful if you needed it. You'd have to take one for the team, but it would make you a great negotiator, especially if the wearer is asexual.
And, as is often the case, the devil is in the details. How sexually attractive? How do they respond? Etc.
Thyme - A mystical herb that heals all wounds.FTFY. Joke is better that way.
Everything is useful if you use it correctly. The point, however, is that it should be harder to usefully utilize these items.No one can foresee all uses. For instance, thyme is actually a medicinal herb. Its oil contains a strong antiseptic, the chemical used widely in modern mouthwash. It used to be used to medicate bandages, and thyme tea can treat coughs.
Thyme - A mystical herb that heals all wounds. Except it doesn't.
No one can foresee all uses. For instance, thyme is actually a medicinal herb. Its oil contains a strong antiseptic, the chemical used widely in modern mouthwash. It used to be used to medicate bandages, and thyme tea can treat coughs.I think you're missing the joke...
Rumors said that a warlord from a distant land, Josef Steelman, once managed to build trains that run on them.Everything is useful if you use it correctly. The point, however, is that it should be harder to usefully utilize these items.No one can foresee all uses. For instance, thyme is actually a medicinal herb. Its oil contains a strong antiseptic, the chemical used widely in modern mouthwash. It used to be used to medicate bandages, and thyme tea can treat coughs.
Thyme - A mystical herb that heals all wounds. Except it doesn't.
No, I got the joke. The point is to be obstinate and nitpick to demonstrate that being obstinate and nitpicking is unpleasant, so don't do it. Also I like medieval herbs.No one can foresee all uses. For instance, thyme is actually a medicinal herb. Its oil contains a strong antiseptic, the chemical used widely in modern mouthwash. It used to be used to medicate bandages, and thyme tea can treat coughs.I think you're missing the joke...
Ring of Arrogance - Makes the wearer believe that what they're saying is right, regardless of what others tell them. The effect grows stronger the farther(further?) from the truth their words become.Further.
Invisibility Cloak: The cloak is invisible. And by that I mean transparent.
Seal of Arguments - This ring makes everything you say extremely inflammatory to everyone who hears it.Sometimes, I wonder if someone slipped that onto me without my knowledge.
Potion of Self-Revival - A potion that revives the drinker if the drinker made a conscious action to drink it after they die. Does not work on undead creatures.Come on, don't slap on a blatant patch (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ObviousRulePatch) just to make sure it never does anything. That's unsportsmanlike.
Potion of Self-Revival - A potion that revives the drinker if the drinker made a conscious action to drink it after they die. Does not work on undead creatures.Come on, don't slap on a blatant patch (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ObviousRulePatch) just to make sure it never does anything. That's unsportsmanlike.
Ring of Wall Walking - a ring capable of allowing the wearer of passing through solid surfaces such as walls, floors and doors. Said ability does not apply to the ring itself. Possibly also extendible to some kind of water walking device, say the "amulet of water walking", which would probably choke you quite well.Better: the amulet can water walk. You can't.
Ring of Forgetfulness - When worn, you forget the locations of all your possessions.Does that include the ring?
Dagger of Oh Shit Moments: A knife that when you stab someone with it causes no physical damage. It instead induces an extremely deep and sudden anxiety. This would not be useful in most circumstances but would be fun to play with.So a Fear spell in knife form?
Think less magical fear and more that sinking feeling you get when you just did something really stupid.Dagger of Oh Shit Moments: A knife that when you stab someone with it causes no physical damage. It instead induces an extremely deep and sudden anxiety. This would not be useful in most circumstances but would be fun to play with.So a Fear spell in knife form?
I'd kill to have that in my campaign :P
Of course!Ring of Forgetfulness - When worn, you forget the locations of all your possessions.Does that include the ring?
ring of accuracy: never misses too bad it is the ring that always hits and not your weapon.Fffff- Punch everything!
Hat of Darkness: Hat causes wearer to create evil, sadistic solutions to all problems.That would actually be pretty useful in real life.
Hat of Darkness: Hat causes wearer to create evil, sadistic solutions to all problems. They also become obsessed with logic and incredibly skinny. Created by legendary mathesorceretician Rand al'Munroe.Beret of Nihilism - Makes the wearer a naïve and happy-go-lucky, while having a great urge to go to the bakery.
Wand of Bees: this wand summons a swarm of angry bees to immediately attack the holder of the wand.
Sword of Truth the wielder of this sword is compelled to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth at all times even about things they do not or could not possibly know.
Sword of Truth the wielder of this sword is compelled to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth at all times even about things they do not or could not possibly know.
That could be rather useful.
In practice it's even more fun.
Sword of Truth the wielder of this sword is compelled to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth at all times even about things they do not or could not possibly know.
That could be rather useful.
not really, the whole truth would logically include things man was not meant to know http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheseAreThingsManWasNotMeantToKnow driving yourself and everyone around you insane sounds fun in theory but in practice...
Ring of Realism cursed when ever a character wearing this ring takes damage the player controlling them is hit with a large blunt object in real life. this ring may be forcefully gifted to the character of a player who complains about how different the fantasy setting is from reality, particularly if it involves physics and/or magical interactions.Also, it appears to characters to be an ordinary unmagical ring, but if any attempt to use magic to identify it further despite that, they are generally driven insane as they learn the horrible truth about reality.
Wand of Delayed Death: A wand that makes the victim die at some point. Said point can take over hundred years depending on their race, and might be longer than the heat death of the universe.Could be even worse if it acts as a geis, preventing the target from dying until that point :P
Sandwich of Satisfaction A magical sandwich. Looking at or smelling the Sandwich of Satisfaction gives an insatiable desire to eat it. Consumption of the Sandwich of Satisfaction takes away all satisfaction, pleasure, and hope from the user for the rest of their existence (including any afterlife).Holy cursed item, Batman! D:
*is totally going to use that item in a campaign and require will saves*Sandwich of Satisfaction A magical sandwich. Looking at or smelling the Sandwich of Satisfaction gives an insatiable desire to eat it. Consumption of the Sandwich of Satisfaction takes away all satisfaction, pleasure, and hope from the user for the rest of their existence (including any afterlife).Holy cursed item, Batman! D:
Already figured out a way to drink from the Holey Grail.
Goose-Marked Sword: This sword can cut through anything. Unfortunately, it can only be used by goose knights.(http://img856.imageshack.us/img856/5329/bx4y.png)
Keep partially underwater, enough so that it fills through the holes, but not enough so that it fills through the top as well. Turn partially sideways and drink.Already figured out a way to drink from the Holey Grail.
How do you plan this?
Keep partially underwater, enough so that it fills through the holes, but not enough so that it fills through the top as well. Turn partially sideways and drink.Already figured out a way to drink from the Holey Grail.
How do you plan this?
Or you know, drink the water flowing from the holes.
What about downing it really quickly? Like, before all the water flows out?Keep partially underwater, enough so that it fills through the holes, but not enough so that it fills through the top as well. Turn partially sideways and drink.Already figured out a way to drink from the Holey Grail.
How do you plan this?
Or you know, drink the water flowing from the holes.
Ahhh.
Well, drinking from the holes doesn't count, but your first method is invalid-- you're just drinking from the lake or puddle or ocean or whatnot, pretending to use the cup.
Ring of Time Travel: Causes user to travel one second per second.
Vibrator-Sword: Sword that causes you to vibrate.
Ring of Time Travel: Causes user to travel one second per second.
I played in a DnD game once where I would have traded an awful lot for this.
Ring of Extra Rings when worn this ring magically allows you to wear one extra magic ring.Wear this after almost filling every finger with magical rings. Now you have one more. Get one on every finger, you have five more.
You can't wear it after filling every finger, because there's nowhere to wear it on.Ring of Extra Rings when worn this ring magically allows you to wear one extra magic ring.Wear this after almost filling every finger with magical rings. Now you have one more. Get one on every finger, you have five more.
Cloak ofdiscodance: This item makes the wearer start dancing and singing at the most inappropriate times, will always make crowds join in.
like this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQ7tn3r8ro0
The Holey Grail: This item is a golden cup. Any drink from it completely restores the user's power and grants immorality. However, it is full of holes and cannot be drunken from. Patching the holes turns out into a normal cup.
Wand of Shrubbery Upon use a shrubbery is planted at a designated location within visage of the user. The shrubbery is hedged so well that even The Knights Who Say "Ni!" would be delighted by it. (single use)
Wand of Poking A wand that when the user attempts to cast a spell, creates the sensation of being poked in the area of the body the wand is pointed at.I see what you did there.
Cape of Manliness A red cape that when worn, forces the wearer to don strangely-shaped shades, shout at people demanding them to tell them who they think they are and spout vaguely-sensical speeches about manhood. And wander around with no shirt.
Goose-Marked Sword: This sword can cut through anything. Unfortunately, it can only be used by goose knights.
The Paint of Defacement isn't actually useless.
call all epileptic zombies to his or her current location through hipthrusts
Discus of Division this sharpened throwing disc constantly reduces the distance between itself and it's target by exactly 1/2 the remaining distance allowing it to eternally approach but never actually reach what it is thrown at.So it has infinite range?
Has slightly less range than you need. All you have to do is aim behind what you need to hit. :3Discus of Division this sharpened throwing disc constantly reduces the distance between itself and it's target by exactly 1/2 the remaining distance allowing it to eternally approach but never actually reach what it is thrown at.So it has infinite range?
Communique of Importance: this sealed and stamped letter, when raised above one's head while running, will cause any and all guards on the way to step aside to make way so that it may be delivered. When delivered to somebody, becomes permanently mundane.
Official Seal of Knockoffs- Immediately turns any object it's stuck on into a crappy bootleg version that breaks easily.
Robes of Gradual Teleportation - When activated, teleports the user to any desired location. At a rate of one atom per picosecond.Ouch D:
You know all these items that just make more of themselves could be very useful. Crushing people with wands/decks of cards would be pretty awesome.Gringotts, anyone? :P
Amulet of Slow Fall: When worn around the neck, this amulet will never descend faster than a floating feather.That's a pretty useful item to have, if you get pushed off a cliff you could don it seconds before you hit the ground.
Amulet of Slow Fall: When worn around the neck, this amulet will never descend faster than a floating feather.That's a pretty useful item to have, if you get pushed off a cliff you could don it seconds before you hit the ground.
Axe of Swimming: A very heavy axe with fins attached to it. The wielder can swim very fast, but only against currents.
Fork of air: A magical fork that can only damage air creatures.
Shrinking Key: A key that can open any door, but will shrink the door smaller than the user.
There are some problems involved in rapidly deccelerating through your neck.Amulet of Slow Fall: When worn around the neck, this amulet will never descend faster than a floating feather.That's a pretty useful item to have, if you get pushed off a cliff you could don it seconds before you hit the ground.
Vive la gallowsThere are some problems involved in rapidly deccelerating through your neck.Amulet of Slow Fall: When worn around the neck, this amulet will never descend faster than a floating feather.That's a pretty useful item to have, if you get pushed off a cliff you could don it seconds before you hit the ground.
Hyperkitten: A cross-dimensional kitten. Friendly, playful, loves people and enjoys tummy rubs. Frequently gets tangled in dimensional hyperstrings, causing random alterations to reality. Teleportation around the kitten is a Bad IdeaTM.Next time I play a mage in any game, I am taking a hyperkitten as my familiar.
Amulet of Ancestral Advice: Once per day this amulet allows the spirits of all of your deceased direct maternal relatives of at least grandmother venerability to comment on your current situation. There is no requirement that they be helpful. There is no requirement that they be timely. They will probably nag you about getting on and having a couple kids and abandoning this silly 'adventuring fad' of yours.
Magic Banana: This enchanted banana will, to any magical scrying appear to be some form of long range magical communications device. Failure to ascertain its true purpose on a close inspection will likewise convince the observer that it has the ability to communicate at long distance. The Magic Banana has no such abilities, although (despite its believable texture) it is as difficult as good steel to actually cut or macerate.
Pitchfork of Sadness: When used any living being or formerly living objects saddest thoughts and feelings will be Transferred to wielder.If one were to stab someone who was wearing leather with this, would the thoughts be from the person or the leather? What if they were wearing cotton? Can plants have sad thoughts?
Earring Of Sensitivity: When worn will emit a magical effect about a mile wide that greatly enhances the hearing of all entities hostile towards the wearer, the more hostile, the greater the effect.This sounds like a great item if you're capable of sonic damage...
Ring of Arrogance - Makes the wearer believe that what they're saying is right, regardless of what others tell them. The effect grows stronger the farther(further?) from the truth their words become.Further.
Ring of Passive-Aggression - When worn, a curse is placed on the user that prevents them from directly saying anything they feel. Instead, they must hide their opinions behind euphemisms and sarcasm.
Liquidproof Paper - This piece of writing parchment is completely liquidproof. Nothing liquid can soak into it, it simply slides off.
e: "Wow, this ring is great."
"Really? Can I see?"
"Sure, buddy. You're gonna love it."
"Wow, you're totally right. Thanks a bunch."
The Bucket of Emptiness: It has nothing in it and can never have any thing in it, any thing put in it disappears.
The Lamp of Infinite Darkness: It can never be turned on and no light can be on near it.
I think garbage men would find it more useful.The Bucket of Emptiness: It has nothing in it and can never have any thing in it, any thing put in it disappears.
The Lamp of Infinite Darkness: It can never be turned on and no light can be on near it.
The bucket of emptiness sounds like an item that would be a must have for assassins, just drop body parts into it, poof they're gone forever.
Useless magical items you say?
How about this:
It's an amulet, used to cheat death.
Sounds about like your typical magical device, right? Except, this one works by halting time, and rendering all forms of interaction with the "very soon to be dead" person impossible, trapping them in the last few microseconds before death, for the rest of the lifespan of the universe. It's whole purpose is to keep the soul of the soon to be departed from actually going to a final destination, by preventing them from actually dieing, but doing nothing whatsoever to repair or fix what has caused them to become near death, and prevents any action that could change their status.
The intangible artifact:This reads more like an SCP entry.
-snip-
Oil of Ultimate Slipperiness: this magical oil is so slippery, it will slide away from anything trying to touch it. Poured on the ground, it will actually be pushed away from underfoot even before any weight is put on the leg; slipping on it is almost impossible. Lubricating a machine is similarly difficult, as it simply won't stick to the parts that need to move smoothly. Burning it is possible, but it is no different from mundane oil in that aspect.
OOC: beer can go bad? I thought it was already a fermented beverage.All consumables except honey go bad iirc.
Does this scroll also transmute the size of the resulting toe shaped tuber? Also, is the effective kind of "toe" up to the caster to decide? (EG, "I transform this tiny 2 ounce new potato into a 500kg epic elder beast "potatoe", after throwing it at the evil mordak!"-- type scenario.)
bug spray
This potion is dispersed as an arousal, and attracts bugs.
Sure, but it's still silly.bug spray
This potion is dispersed as an arousal, and attracts bugs.
Could be incredibly useful in some scenarios, like if you needed some extra protein on the cheap or had insect related superpowers but no summoning abilities, wanted to complete a butterfly collection,etc.
Laser PointerSurprisingly useful for avoiding or finding enemy spacedudes and spaceships
This compass like device will point towards the nearest laser.
That's actually a fair point. Who says magic is limited to medieval settings? I hereby rule this artefact a "Useful, non-silly magitech device."Laser PointerSurprisingly useful for avoiding or finding enemy spacedudes and spaceships
This compass like device will point towards the nearest laser.
It detects lasers, not laser producing devices.Still may have some uses, but I rescind my declaration.
That's actually a fair point. Who says magic is limited to medieval settings? I hereby rule this artefact a "Useful, non-silly magitech device."Laser PointerSurprisingly useful for avoiding or finding enemy spacedudes and spaceships
This compass like device will point towards the nearest laser.
bug sprayGreater Bug Spray: Spray out assorted bugs.
This position is dispersed as an aerosol , and attracts bugs.
Grater Bug Spray: Attracts bugs wielding graters. Mostly cheese graters. Yes, they're big enough to wield them.bug sprayGreater Bug Spray: Spray out assorted bugs.
This position is dispersed as an aerosol , and attracts bugs.
Greater Bag Spray: Sprays bugsized bags.Grater Bug Spray: Attracts bugs wielding graters. Mostly cheese graters. Yes, they're big enough to wield them.bug sprayGreater Bug Spray: Spray out assorted bugs.
This position is dispersed as an aerosol , and attracts bugs.
Bowl of EmptinessThrow it in the ocean, watch the resulting fallout.
A bowl that can hold an infinite amount of soup. Soup cannot be retrieved once placed inside.
While some variants of hot and sour soup might taste a bit like ocean water, ocean water most certainly is not SOUP.But it has dead animals in it and is salty.
:P
Greater Spray Bug: large, roachlike insect that sprays assorted other bugs when threatened.Greater Bag Spray: Sprays bugsized bags.Grater Bug Spray: Attracts bugs wielding graters. Mostly cheese graters. Yes, they're big enough to wield them.bug sprayGreater Bug Spray: Spray out assorted bugs.
This position is dispersed as an aerosol , and attracts bugs.
Bug Spray of Spray Spray Bugs: A spray that spray out bugs that spray out Greater Bug Sprays that spray out Greater Spray Bugs. May have been created in a thaumaturgical accident of epic proportions.Greater Spray Bug: large, roachlike insect that sprays assorted other bugs when threatened.Greater Bag Spray: Sprays bugsized bags.Grater Bug Spray: Attracts bugs wielding graters. Mostly cheese graters. Yes, they're big enough to wield them.bug sprayGreater Bug Spray: Spray out assorted bugs.
This position is dispersed as an aerosol , and attracts bugs.
I tried to 1-up this but couldn't. Just wow.Bug Spray of Spray Spray Bugs: A spray that spray out bugs that spray out Greater Bug Sprays that spray out Greater Spray Bugs. May have been created in a thaumaturgical accident of epic proportions.Greater Spray Bug: large, roachlike insect that sprays assorted other bugs when threatened.Greater Bag Spray: Sprays bugsized bags.Grater Bug Spray: Attracts bugs wielding graters. Mostly cheese graters. Yes, they're big enough to wield them.bug sprayGreater Bug Spray: Spray out assorted bugs.
This position is dispersed as an aerosol , and attracts bugs.
Hammer of HealingSo, Fire Emblem healers.
All the pain of a hammer, all the healing of a health potion.
NUNSWITHAXESHammer of HealingSo, Fire Emblem healers.
All the pain of a hammer, all the healing of a health potion.
Here's an Elder Scrolls joke for youThe other 98% of time, it slices open your carotid artery and damns your soul in one slip of the blade.
Mehrunes' Straight Razor: Has a small chance to instantly provide you with a perfect shave.
Ring of parrying:Fan-fucking-tastic for jugglers
When worn, this item gives the user supernatural skill in catching weapons with their hands. It does not make their hands more durable, nor can it be worn with armor.
Only applies to deadly melee weapons. And doesn't work to catch the handle, you can only get the blade / head.oh, so your standard "enchanted item cursed to remove all possible uses" item. booooooooring
Only applies to deadly melee weapons. And doesn't work to catch the handle, you can only get the blade / head.
Genius Rock: A supergenius mind, in the body of a rock. Immune to telepathy and astral projection. Mute, deaf, and blind. It's a rock. But it's reeeaaaaallllly smart. Trust me.My first thought upon reading this was "What if I cast Stone to Flesh on it?" Then I realized how messed up the results of that would be.
Genius Rock: A supergenius mind, in the body of a rock. Immune to telepathy and astral projection. Mute, deaf, and blind. It's a rock. But it's reeeaaaaallllly smart. Trust me.My first thought upon reading this was "What if I cast Stone to Flesh on it?" Then I realized how messed up the results of that would be.
I would imagine it wouldn't have sign language. It doesn't have appendages. It would simply be a rock made of flesh, with all the other aspects listed. Well, at least it could be grilled at that point and eaten - though rock eater types could have eaten it anyway, so whatever.Genius Rock: A supergenius mind, in the body of a rock. Immune to telepathy and astral projection. Mute, deaf, and blind. It's a rock. But it's reeeaaaaallllly smart. Trust me.My first thought upon reading this was "What if I cast Stone to Flesh on it?" Then I realized how messed up the results of that would be.
It would be a Helen Keller flesh golem with sign language I guess?
Unless you’re in ADOM or some other rogue like where you literally are what you eat, I don’t think eating the rock-turned-flesh would do much good.IF they are what they eat, tehn they become a rock or flesh thing which is blind mute deaf and has infinite knowledge but no sapience.
Also, Ozarck’s long list just sounds like a list of things a con artist would sell.
Or maybe the sort of thing some other person could trick another into buying.
Ribbit Shield(https://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/thevideogamedatabase/images/8/8e/Frog_Chrono_Trigger.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130304205826)
A shield capable of blocking any attack. Can only be wielded by frogs.
Circlet of Mediocrity: The wearer always rolls a 10 for 20-sided die rolls.This is an incredibly good item in, say, D&D 3.5. Some prestige classes even have class features that let you "Take 10" on specific skills as significant class features. It keeps you from auto-failing saving throws on a 1, and lets you achieve a 100% success rate with UMD on certain items 9 skill ranks/bonuses earlier than you would normally.
Circlet of Mediocrity: The wearer always rolls a 10 for 20-sided die rolls.This is an incredibly good item in, say, D&D 3.5. Some prestige classes even have class features that let you "Take 10" on specific skills as significant class features. It keeps you from auto-failing saving throws on a 1, and lets you achieve a 100% success rate with UMD on certain items 9 skill ranks/bonuses earlier than you would normally.
It could also serve as a way to "weigh" dice in gambling scenarios (or if you ran a die-repair/purchase/selling service), although you'd likely be accused of throwing dice in an improper manner if you did so.
Cat Lady's Staff: A staff covered in cat hair and marred with claw marks. When casting a spell with it, all nearby felines gain 1 HP.Do you mean "gain" or "regain"? If the former, with enough time and spells, you could create an army of uber-cats with thousands of HP each.
Scroll of Dysmon. A scroll that gives the reader the cure to all diseases, but can only be read by someone without a disease.
Ring of good luckNow that is a good item. I award you the "Gee, Thanks, that was silly and useless" badge. Void where prohibited.
When in a dangerous or stressful situation this ring tells you "good luck".
Wand of Confetti: Can be used once per day to create a burst of confetti at a target of the caster's choosing.Nice. My favorite in this list is the cat lady staff.
Wand of De-Frogification: Removes all curses that turn target into an amphibian.
Cat Lady's Staff: A staff covered in cat hair and marred with claw marks. When casting a spell with it, all nearby felines gain 1 HP.
Turn Dead: Repels and damages all nearby non-reanimated corpses.
Proof positive that "Silly" and "harmless" are not the same thing.Cat Lady's Staff: A staff covered in cat hair and marred with claw marks. When casting a spell with it, all nearby felines gain 1 HP.Do you mean "gain" or "regain"? If the former, with enough time and spells, you could create an army of uber-cats with thousands of HP each.
Lockpick: a greataxe that convinces its wielder that it is a lockpick, and whenever it is used as such the wielder is shown the illusion of stealthy lockpicking but in reality loudly hacks the door/chest/etc. with the axe.
Goggles of invisibility, this pair of invisible googles renders anyone the user is looking not only invisible but completely undetectable to them while within their line of sight,Perfect for ignoring annoying people!cannot be removed by non magical means.convinces the use that they are in fact invisible while being worn.
Comes in Teal, Amber, Lavender and Crimson, not that you'd be able to tell of course
Goggles of invisibility, this pair of invisible googles renders anyone the user is looking not only invisible but completely undetectable to them while within their line of sight,Perfect for ignoring annoying people!cannot be removed by non magical means.convinces the use that they are in fact invisible while being worn.
Comes in Teal, Amber, Lavender and Crimson, not that you'd be able to tell of course
Sword of Rogue: Turns anything it hits into something different and inexplicable.
Gloves of Rogue: Turns any item the wearer picks up into something completely different and unexpected.
Boots of Rogue: When worn, the wearer alway ends up somewhere that doesn't really make geographical sense given their route.
It would be incredibly difficult to use the gloves and sword at the same time.Just pick up the sword first, equip it then do the same with the gloves.
Ring of good luckNow that is a good item. I award you the "Gee, Thanks, that was silly and useless" badge. Void where prohibited.
When in a dangerous or stressful situation this ring tells you "good luck".
Oz's RingOh, you .... you ... grrr ...
This ring makes all the loot you find while wearing it legendary artifacts! Cursed to not do exactly what they're supposed to do.
Boots of Rogue: When worn, the wearer alway ends up somewhere that doesn't really make geographical sense given their route.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t23YSJzMEpg (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t23YSJzMEpg)
Boots of Rouge: Causes a red line to be drawn behind you as you walk.Boots of Rogue: When worn, the wearer alway ends up somewhere that doesn't really make geographical sense given their route.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t23YSJzMEpg (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t23YSJzMEpg)
The forum thread: A forum thread full of powerful magic objects. Unfortunately, all the objects seem to be somewhat silly or useless.The Thread Forum: a sheet of paper that constantly lists new discussions over the many uses of thread.
Eyedrop brush:
When you touch the handle of this paintbrush to a solid surface, the bristles become covered in magical paint which perfectly mimics the color and texture of whatever you touched.
Flopwop: A fuzzy tube that occasionally squeaks. It feeds on small rodents and is a threat to snakes near and far.
Sproing HammerSounds like it'd be great for minimizing collateral damage, though armor would hamper it a lot.
A normal small metal warhammer, except it acts like it's made of very elastic rubber when in contact with inorganic matter, and like a rigid hammer on contact with flesh.
That's the mimic checking hammer. If you suspect something's a mimic hit it with the hammer. If it's not a mimic the hammer bounces off harmlessly.I'm pretty sure if you're close enough to check then it would already spring up on you.
Minimizing collateral damage? It's harmless against a knight's armor, but is fully bone-breaking against unarmored people, such as peasants.Sproing HammerSounds like it'd be great for minimizing collateral damage, though armor would hamper it a lot.
A normal small metal warhammer, except it acts like it's made of very elastic rubber when in contact with inorganic matter, and like a rigid hammer on contact with flesh.
coal minebrilliant
"Danger!" DaggerLuckily, as talking is a free action, the strike can still count as a sneak attack. [/reference]
A sharp steel dagger. Whenever you attempt to strike someone with it, it will yell out "Danger!"
Bowmerang: an exotic bow, which when thrown will always return to its wielder in an unusual fashion.yes
Nose Ring of No SingSounds good for stopping a bard from singing...
A nose ring that prevents the user and all who gaze upon it from being able to sing.
But not when cutting bones, nerves etc.? Do blood vessels count as flesh? That'd be a pretty horrifying weapon.I'm pretty sure blood vessels and nerves are made of flesh.
Bowmaranang: A bowmerang that uses a bangarang as ammo.Bowmerang: an exotic bow, which when thrown will always return to its wielder in an unusual fashion.yes
Bangarang: when thrown, it makes an excessively loud explosion noise, but otherwise acts like a regular boomerang.
Here's a bizarre but possibly useful magical item.
Blade of Spiderwall: A sword that, when used to trace a line in the ground, erects a wall made out of angry, living, highly venomous spiders that is 2 feet thick and blocks a passage or grow to a maximum of 10 ft x10 ft. The spiders are enchanted with Mind Blank and cannot be reasoned with.
Here's a bizarre but possibly useful magical item.verily
Blade of Spiderwall: A sword that, when used to trace a line in the ground, erects a wall made out of angry, living, highly venomous spiders that is 2 feet thick and blocks a passage or grow to a maximum of 10 ft x10 ft. The spiders are enchanted with Mind Blank and cannot be reasoned with.
Ring of Acceleration: A ring, like the sort of thing you wear. Anything that passes through it is greatly accelerated. Probably a bad idea to put on.more like ring of pixie launching
Ring of Acceleration: A ring, like the sort of thing you wear. Anything that passes through it is greatly accelerated. Probably a bad idea to put on.Visible light becomes x-ray.
Is it a ring or a hood?A ring with a hood attached.
Sphere of Negative Weight: A mysterious sphere made out of iron. Anything it touches weighs negative.That is one of the better items you could get in Caves of Qud.
Sorry, for going slightly off topic, but I absolutely love this thread, you guys have made my day three times better.well okay
Escalator: This magical amulet makes the user escalate any situation.
Spell Timer: A weird amulet. Looks like a cooking timer. When used, delays the effect of the next spell the wearer casts by the amount of time its set for.
Necklace of Pigeon ProtectionMalus of -10 to any attempt at bartering.
A pigeon wearing this simple twine necklace is not subject to attacks, damage or effects from other pigeons.
Necklace of Pigeon ProtectionMalus of -10 to any attempt at bartering.
A pigeon wearing this simple twine necklace is not subject to attacks, damage or effects from other pigeons.
Necklace of Pigeon ProtectionMalus of -10 to any attempt at bartering.
A pigeon wearing this simple twine necklace is not subject to attacks, damage or effects from other pigeons.
Nah, a pigeon wearing it would not be subject to bartering with other pigeons. Talking to and interacting with someone is being subject to an effect from them.
I guess if the pigeon was bartering with a crow or something the malus would apply.
I think blasting both hands off of somebody is firmly in the "less lethal" category, not "nonlethal". :P
I think blasting both hands off of somebody is firmly in the "less lethal" category, not "nonlethal". :P
Either way, it's a good way to disarm your opponent.
I think blasting both hands off of somebody is firmly in the "less lethal" category, not "nonlethal". :P
Either way, it's a good way to disarm your opponent.
"Unhand me, knave!"
That's four.I think blasting both hands off of somebody is firmly in the "less lethal" category, not "nonlethal". :P
Either way, it's a good way to disarm your opponent.
"Unhand me, knave!"
Sigged.
Intrest:Silver will technically become valueless as everyone who values it (as well as everyone who doesn't) is crushed beneath an unstoppable wave of exponentially multiplying silver coins.
This is a simple silver coin which creates an exact copy of itself once every second, which will then start making it's own copies. If any of the coins are melted down or otherwise stop being coins, they lose the magical effect and become inert silver. Side effects of this item may include making silver valueless.
Eh, just takes some dragonfire to end the reaction forever. :PIntrest:Silver will technically become valueless as everyone who values it (as well as everyone who doesn't) is crushed beneath an unstoppable wave of exponentially multiplying silver coins.
This is a simple silver coin which creates an exact copy of itself once every second, which will then start making it's own copies. If any of the coins are melted down or otherwise stop being coins, they lose the magical effect and become inert silver. Side effects of this item may include making silver valueless.
Self limiting.
It doubles every second, so it experiences true exponential growth, until it melts or destroys itself some other way. That means that after a short period, it will have reached sufficient mass to deform the coins under their own weight, and rate of duplication will slow down, limited to only those coins remaining undamaged on the surface of the enormous ball of silver. Eventually, the doubling will result in a gravitational mass sufficient to crush all new coins, stopping the process.
In short, this "coin", is how you create a new super-giant sized planet composed entirely of silver. Just toss it out an airlock and wait.
I think a coin is still a valid coin as long as you can see the queen's face.
Stilemancer: A magic user specializing in the ancient and powerful magical art of summoning steps to climb over fences.Using the ritual ingredients of wood, nails and a consecrated set of carpenter's tools, I presume?
Does medical death count? Cause it can make them unrevivable if they ever flatline.The person shooting the gun's death is what triggers their reappearance, not the target's death.
Could be good for ensuring minion loyalty; just fire it at the head of everyone who gets in a position to backstab you.
Silver Knork - A knife and fork combination item. A magical piece of innovation.And it's companion item, the Knoon.
The Grey Beeath
A simple vial of grey, moving dust, if uncapped, the grey dust will immediately leave the vial, spraying as far as it can as if being spread by a gust..
Anyone who inhales the they Beeath will feel weak of breath, headaches and occasionally scabbing ont he skin.
After two days, the victim will began hacking up live bees, before dying a violent death as a combination of newly born bees, wasps, and lizards burrow out of the victims flesh. the resulting individuals are totally normal individuals, with the exception of several "greyed" bees, which,w hen deceased, will eventually turn to more Grey Beeath.
(Dust to Dust Dust is OP, pls Nerf! ;P )(You think it's OP but just try getting it on a target without dissolving your hand
(You wouldn't need any points in lock picking with this, careful application could destroy cursed objects you can't take off, pour it over the contents of an armoury and suddenly you have an advantage, can be used to destroy evidence, and it's perfect for betrayals and backstabbing. I could go on.)(Dust to Dust Dust is OP, pls Nerf! ;P )(You think it's OP but just try getting it on a target without dissolving your hand
and then watch it burrow into the earth until it finally gets completely surrounded by inert dust so there's nothing left touching it that it can change to dust)
(You wouldn't need any points in lock picking with this, careful application could destroy cursed objects you can't take off, pour it over the contents of an armoury and suddenly you have an advantage, can be used to destroy evidence, and it's perfect for betrayals and backstabbing. I could go on.)(It doesn't just stop existing after it's turned the first thing to dust. You pour that on your cursed clothes, it's going to go right on through your flesh, unless the cursed item is thick enough that it forms an insulating layer of inert dust first. And, of course, like I said, you've got to be very careful not to get any on you.)
(It doesn't just stop existing after it's turned the first thing to dust. You pour that on your cursed clothes, it's going to go right on through your flesh, unless the cursed item is thick enough that it forms an insulating layer of inert dust first. And, of course, like I said, you've got to be very careful not to get any on you.)(You didn't say that you had to use the whole vial- you'd have to be cautious using it, but what dexterity and intelligence rolls are for.)
(You didn't say that you had to use the whole vial- you'd have to be cautious using it, but what dexterity and intelligence rolls are for.)(Sure, but even one grain is going to be pretty dangerous, given that it's likely to move around a lot before it becomes thoroughly buried in something [hopefully not your flesh]. It's certainly useful, but there's a high chance for mishaps, I'd say.)
thermonuclear detonation will occur with the explosive force of a ton of TNTActually there must be some really interesting physics going on there to make such a small nuclear blast possible.
I'm thinking an ounce of metallic hydrogen suddenly pops into existence in a high enough density that a thermonuclear explosion occurs.
I'm thinking an ounce of metallic hydrogen suddenly pops into existence in a high enough density that a thermonuclear explosion occurs.
Why wouldn't that implode ?
A Fork
This is a fork. It has unknown magical properties related to its mighty prongs. It is otherwise perfectly ordinary.
odd enough for you? :)
It's bizarre compared to everything else in this thread. In this thread, magical items are ordinary. Meta logic makes my fork bizarreA Fork
This is a fork. It has unknown magical properties related to its mighty prongs. It is otherwise perfectly ordinary.
odd enough for you? :)
Well, maybe if it turned anyone stabbed with it into a fork, maybe.
The Mangledor hold it by the blade
A large, rusted broadsword, covered in a thin slime. when wielded by its grip, any blows dealt by its blade is instead done towards the user. the only way to properly wield this blade is to throw it at the enemy.
Anti-Depressants: Pills that, when ingested, kill the ingester if and only if they are depressed.
ASCIIPuter:uh
A seemingly regular computer that outputs everything in an ASCII display.
ASCIIPuter:uh
A seemingly regular computer that outputs everything in an ASCII display.
you know that was once the only kind of display computers had, right?
This is not so much a "bizarre magical item" as a "totally mundane obsolete item".
Yeah, but it has otherwise top-end specs.Okay, then "totally mundane somewhat-inconvenient-but-not-technically-obsolete item of which I actually know people who have examples"
Sounds more like he has never administered a cloud services server\filer.Yeah, I considered this but decided that a server doesn't really count as "top-end" from an ordinary end user's perspective, since the majority of the ordinary end user's perspective *is* graphics performance.
Those are basically really high end systems with no graphics hardware. You administer them using ssh almost exclusively.
New Shoes
These fine soft shoes are activated by touching your foot, while wearing it, with another persons foot. This can be done through most forms of footwear. The two feet are then instantly, irreversibly and painlessly swapped, with the ankles of each recipient altered to accommodate the new foot. The shoes or other footwear go with the foot, so this can lead to some unfortunate circumstances in crowds.
New Shoes
These fine soft shoes are activated by touching your foot, while wearing it, with another persons foot. This can be done through most forms of footwear. The two feet are then instantly, irreversibly and painlessly swapped, with the ankles of each recipient altered to accommodate the new foot. The shoes or other footwear go with the foot, so this can lead to some unfortunate circumstances in crowds.
...now I'm imagining two people faceplanting due to a shoe-to-high heel swap. This shouldn't amuse me as much as it does.
Pick-Up Truck: This truck is enchanted to harvest any resource within 13 meters of it and store said resources in the back of said truck. Some variations have people replace the 'bed' of the truck with a portal to instantly transport the looted resources.
Never mind slavers - phosphate traders would just straight up extract peoples' skeletons.
Sword of Board
A sword apt to only be used as a board in a construction project.
Sinking cap: Causes whatever the wearer is standing on to sink(Lower) on the point the wearer is standing with equal force as though the wearer weighed thirty tons....I'd imagine that stepping on someone's chest while you're wearing these would be lethal?
Not actually a bad weapon if you are wearing full plate armour. If you are fighting someone it will stab them in the back on the way to you.
by that point you would just go through them, more than likely killing them instantly (possibly bisected)Sinking cap: Causes whatever the wearer is standing on to sink(Lower) on the point the wearer is standing with equal force as though the wearer weighed thirty tons....I'd imagine that stepping on someone's chest while you're wearing these would be lethal?
The Taco of Ultimate delicious: It is the best tasting taco ever made and people would kill to eat it but they can't because as soon as you try to eat it, it moves away form you, so it can forever haunt you.
Tired Toad Toy
A toy resembling a sleeping toad. If it it placed underneath your pillow when you sleep, your snoring will resemble a toad's croaks.
Tired Toad Toy
A toy resembling a sleeping toad. If it it placed underneath your pillow when you sleep, your snoring will resemble a toad's croaks.
As a side effect, does it make you develop fantasy life simulations?
Hide and Seek MaskThis could be extremely useful.
While worn, the wearer becomes incapable of losing a game of Hide and Seek.
Assassin: "We are now playing hide and seek! I'll hide, you seek!" *vanishes*FTFY. Anything can be solved with enough dakka.
Dead King's Guards: "We'll shoot."
Dagger of self-defenseSurprisingly useful against suicide bombers.
When held, this dagger will reliably and perfectly deflect any attack made on the wielder. Provided that the wielder first uses the dagger to stab and kill the attacker.
The Ring of Endless Finger
Any finger or other object inserted into this ring will appear to stretch off to infinity, although it will still occupy the same space as before.
Ring of Retroactive Lies: This ring is cursed and cannot easily be removed after being put on. The wearer cannot speak the truth; if they try, the universe itself will seem to conspire to make the statement into a lie through strange coincidences, which may have happened in the past. For example, if they say they are going to go and buy bread at the store, it might all be sold out before they reach the store. The effect is wildly unpredictable, limiting its usefulness. Saying that you will not be defeated by the villain might mean you will die before reaching them, not necessarily that you will defeat them instead. The previous example of going to buy bread might end in mankind having never invented the bread. Speaking a statement that is already false or a lie will have no effect.
The Ring of Archery
All arrows fired through this ring are 100% accurate.
The Ring of Archery
All arrows fired through this ring are 100% accurate.
What if you intentionally try to miss? Will the arrow backtrack to hit your enemy?
The obvious solution is weld it to the end of a gun that shoots arrows and become the aimbot sniper that the world deserves.
Saying "I will die or be put in an And I Must Scream (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AndIMustScream) situation somewhere in my life." would make the wearer completely immortal, so there's that.Don't be so sure. Maybe mankind invents a cure to death and everyone lives happily ever after. Or maybe you weren't ever born at all. Or maybe you immediately reach Nirvana and become one with the universe, leaving all desire behind. Or maybe your use of 'or' bites you back and you die and be put into a situation where you wish for death. Or maybe your life is determined to end just a moment before you die. The ring is not a monkey's paw, but there is rarely only one way your statement could become a lie.
Notsword: This sword does not exist, until you pick it up at which point it starts existing.If it doesn't exist, how can you pick it up in the first place?
You DO realize that this is the BIZARRE magic items thread, right?Notsword: This sword does not exist, until you pick it up at which point it starts existing.If it doesn't exist, how can you pick it up in the first place?
You DO realize that this is the BIZARRE magic items thread, right?Notsword: This sword does not exist, until you pick it up at which point it starts existing.If it doesn't exist, how can you pick it up in the first place?
But then you wouldn't exist, and therefore, the action of picking up the sword would be inexistent, and thus, it wouldn't actually be picked up.You DO realize that this is the BIZARRE magic items thread, right?Notsword: This sword does not exist, until you pick it up at which point it starts existing.If it doesn't exist, how can you pick it up in the first place?
The notsword doesn't exist anywhere, so if you are not anywhere you can just pick it up.
Amulet of Detect Defect Magic: Vibrates when near enchantments or spell effects that don't work as intended.
Nail Clipper of Regrowth: Whenever one clips their toenails with this enchanted clipper, they instantaneously grow back to their original size.
The secret is in the description. You just need one person with "Absurdly long" nails, and you can have literal pounds of fingernail in a matter of minutes.
Take these creep people (http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/Images/Longest-fingernails-on-a-pair-of-hands-ever_tcm25-494114.jpg) for instance.
It says "Original length"-- So, you clip those suckers, and ZIIING!! Mega claws all over again!
Cup of Joe (sixpack)
This enchanted clay mug is the result of a debauched request from the mage's guild, by a local drunkard named Joe. Tired of constantly having to urinate when out at the pub, this cup endlessly burbles out the content's of Joe's bladder, which sometimes overflows, and sloshes over the rim. Joe has not had to take a piss in years as a result of its creation, and loves it. Everyone else who finds the cup, strongly disagrees, though there WAS a short-lived stewardship of the cup by a similarly deranged alchemist, but he died from inhaling concentrated ammonia fumes.
Bag of Puppies: A bigger-on-the-inside drawstring pouch filled with millions of puppies, all stopped in time until removed. Some of them are magical.https://m.imgur.com/r/Warframe/jxpnDVA
Neutrino Amplifier: Neutrinos that pass through this fragment of glass increase in power a trillion-fold.
Anti-Dynamic Entry Window: Manufactured by a particularly genre savvy evil overlord, anybody who crashes through this window will be hit by aBaleful Polymorph spell turning them into a sheep.bunch of incredibly sharp shards ofEvilActually Realistic Plate Glass, which is guaranteed to actually cut to shreds anything that decides to crash through the window instead of using the door like a CIVILIZED archenemy.
Neutrino Amplifier: Neutrinos that pass through this fragment of glass increase in power a trillion-fold.
Wow if you line up a dozen of those you might be able to knock over an ant!
Wand of Peeing: Causes anything its beam hits to piss its self until all the fluid in its body is peed out.
Wand of Spying: If the beam collides with a Spy, the spy is vaporized.The best weapon in TF2
Wand of Wand Deactivation:
When activated, this wand causes every wand in the caster's inventory to be unable to activate for one second.
Window of Disintegration
Anything passing through this steel framed open window is broken down into it's constituent elements and expelled as a cloud from the other side.
To be clear, it doesn't deactivate any wands being shot at you, just ones you're carrying on your person.Wand of Wand Deactivation:
When activated, this wand causes every wand in the caster's inventory to be unable to activate for one second.
This could save your life if someone's pointing an attack wand at you.
Timesword: Cuts whatever will be where it is 10 seconds in the future.This is gonna be very prone to weird time related paradoxes, isn't it?
I'm not actually sure about that. It cuts in the future. Now...Timesword: Cuts whatever will be where it is 10 seconds in the future.This is gonna be very prone to weird time related paradoxes, isn't it?
Yes, but it also changes the future by doing so, meaning that the now-cut object will probably not be there.I'm not actually sure about that. It cuts in the future.Timesword: Cuts whatever will be where it is 10 seconds in the future.This is gonna be very prone to weird time related paradoxes, isn't it?
Philosopher's Stone: Transmutes lead into gold on contact. Does not work on liquids, or through a one-atom-thick layer of gold.
Nothing and lightning is a rather weak rhyme.Maybe the pen will run out of power quick if it's used on weak rhymes. I dunno.
Nothing and lightning is a rather weak rhyme.
The Castle of Bizzare Magical Items: A labyrinthine castle full of every item from the Bizarre Magical Items thread. Setting of a possibly upcoming forum game.Count me in
Sack of Suck: This sack is bad in so many ways. Any items placed in it will immediately break, it has holes all over it, and it is immune to all enchantments that could make it better. And it smells badly."Any items placed in it will immediately break"
When you say "Only butterflies"... what should happen if one were to put say--- pretty colored moths in instead, since some can easily be mistaken for butterflies without close inspection.The grinder will jam on that and the moths will be totally unharmed (but trapped until you turn the gears in reverse).
If you can grab a distinct amount of air and place it into the bag, the air would probably just scatter. or, it could break quite literally: into it's component parts. Maybe the oxygen molecules separate, and then reform into ozone in a catalytic sequence.Sack of Suck: This sack is bad in so many ways. Any items placed in it will immediately break, it has holes all over it, and it is immune to all enchantments that could make it better. And it smells badly."Any items placed in it will immediately break"
If that includes air, then it's just a black hole if black holes looked like literal trash.
Holy Singularity: A Divinely Blessed singularity. This stellar entity offers blessings and healing to the followers of the Divine being who blessed it. And to others, should they come humbly seeking aid. It's a singularity, it doesn't judge.If you can grab a distinct amount of air and place it into the bag, the air would probably just scatter. or, it could break quite literally: into it's component parts. Maybe the oxygen molecules separate, and then reform into ozone in a catalytic sequence.Sack of Suck: This sack is bad in so many ways. Any items placed in it will immediately break, it has holes all over it, and it is immune to all enchantments that could make it better. And it smells badly."Any items placed in it will immediately break"
If that includes air, then it's just a black hole if black holes looked like literal trash.
I'd just turn the sack inside out or roll it up and stuff the bottom into the mouth so the sack breaks itself.
Big Egg. It's an egg that continually grows at a rate that doubles it's mass every 24 hours. Attempts to destroy it succeed, but each shell fragment grows into another Big Egg. Not safe for human consumption
Once destroyed, the yolk stops growing. Continually powdering the egg would slow down the growth to almost nil.Big Egg. It's an egg that continually grows at a rate that doubles it's mass every 24 hours. Attempts to destroy it succeed, but each shell fragment grows into another Big Egg. Not safe for human consumption
Is there any way to stop this from destroying the world?
I mean, just put the egg in the Sack of Suck, duh.
Does the bucket of ramen make instant ramen or the real stuff?The real stuff.
rumor has it, this has already happened.Holy Singularity: A Divinely Blessed singularity. This stellar entity offers blessings and healing to the followers of the Divine being who blessed it. And to others, should they come humbly seeking aid. It's a singularity, it doesn't judge.If you can grab a distinct amount of air and place it into the bag, the air would probably just scatter. or, it could break quite literally: into it's component parts. Maybe the oxygen molecules separate, and then reform into ozone in a catalytic sequence.Sack of Suck: This sack is bad in so many ways. Any items placed in it will immediately break, it has holes all over it, and it is immune to all enchantments that could make it better. And it smells badly."Any items placed in it will immediately break"
If that includes air, then it's just a black hole if black holes looked like literal trash.
I'd just turn the sack inside out or roll it up and stuff the bottom into the mouth so the sack breaks itself.
Be careful, you don't want it to consider yourself and the entire world as it's contents!
Why would we still be here if that happened?rumor has it, this has already happened.Holy Singularity: A Divinely Blessed singularity. This stellar entity offers blessings and healing to the followers of the Divine being who blessed it. And to others, should they come humbly seeking aid. It's a singularity, it doesn't judge.If you can grab a distinct amount of air and place it into the bag, the air would probably just scatter. or, it could break quite literally: into it's component parts. Maybe the oxygen molecules separate, and then reform into ozone in a catalytic sequence.Sack of Suck: This sack is bad in so many ways. Any items placed in it will immediately break, it has holes all over it, and it is immune to all enchantments that could make it better. And it smells badly."Any items placed in it will immediately break"
If that includes air, then it's just a black hole if black holes looked like literal trash.
I'd just turn the sack inside out or roll it up and stuff the bottom into the mouth so the sack breaks itself.
Be careful, you don't want it to consider yourself and the entire world as it's contents!
broken things don't just go away. I know many people who still use their rather cracked touchscreen cellphones.Quote from: OzarckWhy would we still be here if that happened?Quote from: 0cra_tr0perrumor has it, this has already happened.Quote from: Ozarck
[bHoly Singularity:[/b] A Divinely Blessed singularity. This stellar entity offers blessings and healing to the followers of the Divine being who blessed it. And to others, should they come humbly seeking aid. It's a singularity, it doesn't judge.Quote from: 0cra_tr0perIf you can grab a distinct amount of air and place it into the bag, the air would probably just scatter. or, it could break quite literally: into it's component parts. Maybe the oxygen molecules separate, and then reform into ozone in a catalytic sequence.Quote from: KittyTacSack of Suck: This sack is bad in so many ways. Any items placed in it will immediately break, it has holes all over it, and it is immune to all enchantments that could make it better. And it smells badly."Any items placed in it will immediately break"
If that includes air, then it's just a black hole if black holes looked like literal trash.
I'd just turn the sack inside out or roll it up and stuff the bottom into the mouth so the sack breaks itself.
Be careful, you don't want it to consider yourself and the entire world as it's contents!
I don't think that the bag will trash the earth, but will cover all of existence.Quote from: 0cra_tr0perbroken things don't just go away. I know many people who still use their rather cracked touchscreen cellphones.Quote from: OzarckWhy would we still be here if that happened?Quote from: 0cra_tr0perrumor has it, this has already happened.Quote from: Ozarck
[bHoly Singularity:[/b] A Divinely Blessed singularity. This stellar entity offers blessings and healing to the followers of the Divine being who blessed it. And to others, should they come humbly seeking aid. It's a singularity, it doesn't judge.Quote from: 0cra_tr0perIf you can grab a distinct amount of air and place it into the bag, the air would probably just scatter. or, it could break quite literally: into it's component parts. Maybe the oxygen molecules separate, and then reform into ozone in a catalytic sequence.Quote from: KittyTacSack of Suck: This sack is bad in so many ways. Any items placed in it will immediately break, it has holes all over it, and it is immune to all enchantments that could make it better. And it smells badly."Any items placed in it will immediately break"
If that includes air, then it's just a black hole if black holes looked like literal trash.
I'd just turn the sack inside out or roll it up and stuff the bottom into the mouth so the sack breaks itself.
Be careful, you don't want it to consider yourself and the entire world as it's contents!
What if they remove the arm that the watch is attached to-- or, if the arm it is attached to is a prosthetic one? :P
Everloaf: A loaf of bread. Any piece of this bread will rapidly expand into another Everloaf.uhoh. this could get bad, really, really quickly.
Wand of Normalization: When someone is zapped by this wand, they become convinced that all unusual statuses they may have are in fact completely normal for them, and that they always had those statuses.oh dear god, i love this curse. i'm stealing this for my next game. maybe make it into a ring or some other enchanted piece of equipment so they player characters have a reason to keep it around. it's awesome from a roleplay perspective.
Ocillosword
This high tech looking sword has a pair of electrodes and a lot of knobs on its hilt. The blade changes shape epending on what electric waveform is input and what settings the knobs are turned to. A skilled user with a good signal generator can change the blade to whatever shape they desire, including brutal moving chainsaw-like waveforms.
The Club: This club immediately causes anyone hit with it to be compelled to join any group the user is in.
...the ∞+∞ sword will magically become stronger and harder to get.But what happens if someone somehow happens to have it? What, do they lose it?
Worse, what if you create a second one?...the ∞+∞ sword will magically become stronger and harder to get.But what happens if someone somehow happens to have it? What, do they lose it?
Lycanthropic Potion: A browned bottle, with a glowing gold fluid within. The bottle can't be uncorked, nor shattered, by seemingly any means.That would be quite the conversation starter, I feel like I need one.
In truth, the potion within the bottle is Lycanthropic - during nights of the full moon, the liquid becomes a Werewolf. It's such a small and weak one that it can't escape it's bottle before the night ends and it reverts back into a potion again, though.
Unhittable Target: A large archery target made out of straw, painted red and white. It is enchanted in such a way that a projectile or melee swing can never hit it.But what if you're trying to stab it?
I'd consider that a melee swingUnhittable Target: A large archery target made out of straw, painted red and white. It is enchanted in such a way that a projectile or melee swing can never hit it.But what if you're trying to stab it?
Feathered Cane: A fleshy cane sprouting dull, light brown feathers. It leaves a trail of loose feathers wherever it goes and squawks when hitting something.
Linguistic joke aside, I could see a transforming potion in a wizard's study. Perhaps a bottle of liquid that transforms into a frog when it's about to rain, something like that.Lycanthropic Potion: A browned bottle, with a glowing gold fluid within. The bottle can't be uncorked, nor shattered, by seemingly any means.That would be quite the conversation starter, I feel like I need one.
In truth, the potion within the bottle is Lycanthropic - during nights of the full moon, the liquid becomes a Werewolf. It's such a small and weak one that it can't escape it's bottle before the night ends and it reverts back into a potion again, though.
I'd consider that a melee swingUnhittable Target: A large archery target made out of straw, painted red and white. It is enchanted in such a way that a projectile or melee swing can never hit it.But what if you're trying to stab it?
Death Stick: An oddly smooth stick, with an endlessly smoldering tip.
Anyone unlucky enough to be struck with the smoldering tip will die. Anyone attempting to identify the cause of death will find symptoms of excessive smoke inhalation and burnt lung tissue.
The black box of random enchantmentBut what if I want to enchant my lunch?
This is a little black box, about the size of a lunchbox. It even opens up like a lunch box. The difference is that you place a suitable source of enchanting energy, and an object to be enchanted inside, close the lid, and shake vigorously for 30 seconds-- rather than putting your lunch inside. (highly inadvisable.)
When finished, the item that was placed inside will have an unidentified enchantment placed on it. The provided enchantment will even be consistently that enchantment. The issue, is that which enchantment it will be blessed with at creation is completely random, even harmful/cursed.
Placing an already enchanted item inside has no effect.
Unbirthday CakeWhat if I place a foot with that sock on, into a shoe smaller than the foot?
This cake can only be safely consumed on your birthday. When eaten on any other day it wipes you from existence retroactively to your former date of birth. It is chocolate with raspberry filling and sweet sour cream frosting. Lighting the candles on the top while making a wish will make you no longer desire the wished for item.
Sock of Devouring
This sock is the feeding apparatus for an extra-dimensional horror. When a foot of any size is placed inside the sock perfectly fits and is supremely comfortable, but slightly damp. The sock covered foot can then be placed in a shoe of any size and fit perfectly. The horror feeds on dead skin cells leaving feet feeling clean and healthy. They are extremely territorial and will fight to the death if more then one is worn.
Sock of DevouringWhat if I place a foot with that sock on, into a shoe smaller than the foot?
This sock is the feeding apparatus for an extra-dimensional horror. When a foot of any size is placed inside the sock perfectly fits and is supremely comfortable, but slightly damp. The sock covered foot can then be placed in a shoe of any size and fit perfectly. The horror feeds on dead skin cells leaving feet feeling clean and healthy. They are extremely territorial and will fight to the death if more then one is worn.
How small can the shoe be, and how long is the leg portion of the sock? Is this an ankle sock, or a full length tube sock?
Could be useful as part of a disguise; Put a whole leg in to just below the knee, then put on a prosthetic leg. The "cup" of the prosthetic would be the "shoe", which would "Fit perfectly.", allowing you to wear the prosthetic leg.
So it is an ankle sock then?
The Horn of Awesome: A big spiral horn. Shoots blasts of literal awesome when blown.Probably in the posession of Oric the Awesome
Eversion is not even a real word so I get it. :PIt's totally a real word. It means "turning out", and it's most used in medicine and biology.
Eversion is not even a real word so I get it. :PActually... it has a meaning (https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/eversion). It's just that, oddly, the game is more well-known than the actual word.
Amazing how Despite using it for(More a less) its real Definition just before you, No one noticed...I noticed
Catasstrophy: A magical artifact which takes the form of a mounted cats tail- magically Bestows 100 years of horribly bad luck upon anyone who likes cats that looks upon it, a depiction of it, or a description of it.Well THANKS for that....
Ah.Catasstrophy: A magical artifact which takes the form of a mounted cats tail- magically Bestows 100 years of horribly bad luck upon anyone who likes cats that looks upon it, a depiction of it, or a description of it.Well THANKS for that....
Sandwich of Cheese: Upon consumption, grants the user great ability to game the game system, and become enormously powerful by using exploits.
Amulet of Protection from Gold Cursed, while worn, all nonmagical gold will be harmlessly expelled from a 15-foot radius of the wearer.
Step close to someone, their gold in launched away.QuoteAmulet of Protection from Gold Cursed, while worn, all nonmagical gold will be harmlessly expelled from a 15-foot radius of the wearer.
Am I the only one trying to figure out a way to rob people using this amulet?
The Crown of Insanity:sounds like the one the Ice King has, minus the ice, it made him go insane
Anyone who wears it goes stark raving mad for the duration of the wearing.