We're looting again?
We're looting again! My college is dead on the weekends, and my classes are seven different kinds of easy, so I figured I'd go back to doing what I do best: Letting people murder each other horribly with randomly generated bits of sharp and shiny goodness.
Again? You mean that this has happened before?
Yes indeed, twice in fact. But if you missed the first two installments, there's no need to worry, because I'll sum up how it works. You're in an arena with seven other bastards. Every time you kill one of those bastards, you get a piece of randomly generated loot. And I don't mean Borderlands random, or even Diablo random. I mean full-blown 'panties on your head that make you go faster' random. And since I like to use the chunky salsa damage rule, killing those bastards is quick, easy, and oh-so-satisfying.
Alright, I'm hooked. How do I join?
Welcome aboard! Just fill out this character sheet, and you'll be on your way. All stats can be either a plus, a minus, or a blank, but you have to have at least one minus for every plus that you have. A plus is plus one to rolls using the stat, and a minus is a minus one. Oh, and as a general rule, no stats can be higher than 6 or lower than -6. I've reworked the stats slightly to make dexterity less OP (Hitting and dodging are now separate stats), and got rid of Badassery (Because it was rolled so little that it more or less became free points), but +6 is more than enough for you all to create horrifyingly minmaxed characters.
Name: What are you called?
Looks: What do you look like?
Stats:
Strength: Affects how much of a beating you can dish out
Endurance: Affects how much of a beating you can take
Dexterity: Affects how well you can aim
Speed: Affects how well you can move and dodge
Affinity: Affects how well you can use magic items
Luck: Affects how sharp and shiny your loot is
One last thing: Do I get some sort of starting gear? You know, to last me until my first kill?
Indeed you do. You get one random item to start you off, based upon what your highest skill is.
Player: Beirus
Name: Beirus 2: Green Harder
Looks: Green. Completely green.
Stats:
Strength: ------
Endurance: ------
Dexterity: ------
Speed: ++++++
Affinity: ++++++
Luck: ++++++
Player: NAV
Name: Toboggan
Looks: Naked!
Strength: ------
Endurance:++++++
Dexterity:------
Speed: ++++++
Affinity: ------
Luck: ++++++
Player: Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum
Name: Jenna
Description: A teenager wearing a red dress, with long flowing red hair.
Strength------
Endurance++++++
Dexterity------
Speed+
Affinity-
Luck++++++
Player: BadLemonsXI
Name: Belkin.
Looks: Wacky inflatable wavy arm man!
Stats:
Strength: ++
Endurance: ----
Dexterity: ++
Speed: ++
Affinity: ----
Luck: ++
Player: Sarrak
Name: Hakkar
Description: A somewhat pale man with a wide unnerving grin.
Stats:
Strength -----
Endurance -----
Speed +++++
Dexterity -----
Affinity +++++
Luck +++++
Player: taat
Name: Stickman
strength: ------
Endurance: ------
Speed: ++++++
Dexterity: ++++
Affinity: +-0
Luck: ++
Player: Persus13
Name: Billy Snow
Looks: An awful looking rapper
Stats:
Strength: ------
Endurance: +++
Dexterity: +
Speed: -
Affinity: +++
Luck: ++++++
Player: +!!scientist!!+
Name: Austin
Looks: He wears jeans and a hoodie, but the hood never obscures his playful grin and sparkling eyes.
Stats:
Strength: ------
Endurance: ------
Dexterity: ++++
Speed: ++++++
Affinity: +
Luck: +
Player: TamerVirus
Name: Jenkins 2a
Appearance: Yet another dimensionally displaced business man, this time with a mustache
Strength: 4
Endurance: 6
Dexterity:-4
Speed: -1
Affinity:-5
Luck: 0
Player: Elephant Parade
Name: Flimsy Wizard
Description: A fragile-looking man with generic wizard clothes. He reminds you slightly of a lizard, for some reason.
Stats
Strength------
Endurance------
Dexterity------
Speed++++++
Affinity++++++
Luck +++++
Player: Toaster
Name: Thrakor
Looks: A short guy with an attitude problem. Has a scraggly beard he should probably shave, unremarkable brown eyes, and receding hair that's going grey early. A bit slender. Haven't we seen this before?
Stats:
Strength: ------
Endurance: +
Dexterity: 0
Speed: 0
Affinity: +++
Luck: ++
Player: superBlast
Name: Lucky
Looks: Average to weak looking, but makes up for that his extreme luck. May or may not be a lolicon.... maybe.
Stats:
Strength: --
Endurance: -
Speed: -
Affinity: -
Luck: +++++
Player: Squill
Name: Jimminy
Looks: A stout man with a luxurious, full beard which brings him great strength, but is destructive to magic.
Stats:
Strength: ++++
Endurance: +++
Dexterity:
Speed: --
Affinity: -----
Luck:
Player: Xantalos
Name: THONG
Description: A short Mexican guy wearing a full suit, with a bright orange thong on the outside of it. Background: He's the dad of PANT and TANK TOP. He's out for revenge and stuff.
Stats:
Strength: -6
Endurance: 0
Dexterity: -6
Speed: 0
Affinity: +6
Luck: +6
Player: Person
Name: John Smith
Description: Nondescript.
Stats:
Strength: -2
Endurance: 0
Dexterity: +2
Speed: 0
Affinity: -3
Luck: +3
Player: Kingbodz
Name: Honky the clown
Description: A average clown
Stats:
Strength: -2
Endurance: +3
Dexterity: -6
Speed: +3
Affinity: -2
Luck: +4
Player: stefmor90
Name: SIR BADASSITUDE
Looks: EXPLOSIONS
Stats:
Strength: ++++
Endurance: +++++
Dexterity: ++
Speed: +
Affinity: ------
Luck: ------
Player: Dermonster
Name: Derm
Looks: Never quite understood the point of this one. or the previous. Usernames are easier to remember.
Strength: ------
Endurance: ------
Dexterity: ++
Speed: +++
Affinity: ++
Luck: ++++++
Player: Flabort
Name: LOOT THEIF
Appearance: fast man with large bag labled "LOOT".
Strength ++++
Endurance --
Dexterity ++++
Speed ++++++
Affinity ------
Luck ------
Player: Tryrar
Name:Tryrar
Looks: Completely average
Str:------
Dex------
End:
Spd:
Aff:++++++
Lck:++++++
Player: High Tyrol
Name the incredible mr. light warp
A very thin man wearing a white and yellow spandex tightsuit
Strength 6-
Speed 6+
Affinity 3+
Endurance 3-
Luck0+-
Dexterity 0+-
Player: Darkpaladin109
Name: Grandmaster Ian Van Corgini
Looks: A big, humanoid corgi wearing only a blue wizard hat.
Stats:
Strength: -6
Endurance: -2
Dexterity: -1
Speed: +1
Affinity: +4
Luck: +4
Player: Redzephyr01
Name: Kamina
Description: Actually just Kamina
Stats:
Strength: -1
Endurance: -1
Dexterity: -1
Speed: -1
Affinity: -1
Luck: +5
Player: Salsacookies
Name: Ryu Guy Hayabusabiki
Looks: Ninja
Stats:
Strength: +3
Endurance: -3
Dexterity: +3
Speed: +3
Affinity: -6
Luck: 0
Player: solarlight
name: Gerald Londeral
looks: A rather tall male wearing brown jeans and a brown shirt underneath a green leather overcoat. His eyes are green and his is blond, he is wearing a brown fedora. He is actually intending to live this time.
Strength: -----
Endurance: --
dexterity: ++++
speed: +++
affinity: -
luck: +
Player: TCM
Name: Charles Barkley
Looks: COME ON AND SLAM, IF YOU WANT TO JAM.
Stats:
Strength: +++
Endurance: +++
Dexterity: ++
Speed: ++++
Affinity: ------
Luck: ------
(Derm luk: 3+6)
When you spawn, your waiver begins to coil itself, quickly transforming itself into a large turban with a stone carved to look like an eye in the center of it. As you put it on, your skin instantly hardens into some sort of silvery metal, so light that you feel as if you could probably launch yourself over the cabin that you're standing by if you got a running start.
(Jim luk: 6)
As you appear, your waiver warps itself into something resembling a cross between an old WWI gas mask and a paper surgeon's mask. Putting on, you notice that the lenses over the eyes are fitted with some sort of high-tech scope, and your skin starts to drip with some sort of cloudy blue liquid, which flows from you like sweat on a hot day.
(Killa Beez luk: -4-2) I might not have mentioned negative loot in the OP, but most of you probably remember it. It's strong stuff, but generally it's just as likely to kill you as it is the guy you're trying to kill.
As you spawn, your waiver turns into a nail-studded baseball bat, made from some sort of exotic wood that constantly bleeds some sort of thick yellow resin. It doesn't look too dangerous, but knowing your luck, it's probably booby-trapped or something like that.
(Beirus luk: 1+6)
As you appear on the island, your waiver molds itself into a crudely-sculpted black iron head, about the same size and roundness of a bowling ball. It takes one good long look at you, before bursting out in laughter.
"Whoo boy! I've heard of green recruits, but this is just goddamned silly. Kid, you'd better wash that junk off of yourself before someone mistakes you for a frog and hacks your legs off for their lunch. Unless... God damn, you're actually just green, aren't you? Well, this is new, but I try not to discriminate, so I'm sure we'll get along fine. That is, so long as you like killing things. You don't like killing, then I'm sorry to say that I don't like you. So whaddya say? Are we gonna kill things together, or are we not?"
(Obmar luk: 2)
As you spawn, your waiver transforms into a pair of regular boxing gloves. While they're no brass knuckles, at least they'll keep your hands safe while you knock someone out. You'll probably have to strangle them to finish them off, though.
(PANT luk: 6+6)
Your waiver transforms itself into an ornate crown made out of some kind of brightly glowing metal. It looks almost like gold or brass at first, but as you rotate the crown in your hands, you notice flecks of black dotting the surface. Atop the crown is an ornament in the shape of a pouncing lion, and as you put it on your head, you hear a booming voice echoes inside of your mind.
"I am Rasalas, He Who Commands The Heavens! Lightning is but a mere candle to my radiance, and even the stars in the sky collapse from embarrassment upon seeing my divine glow! Even trapped in this crown, my power is enough to level entire cities should they earn my ire! Now mortal, go forth! It has been millenia since I have last feasted upon the blood of nonbelievers, and I can smell infidels nearby. As my new high-priest, you must sacrifice them in my name!"
(Eamon luk: -1-5)
Your waiver transforms itself into a long obsidian pike, covered in all sorts of strange runes. You hesitate about picking it up, but it quickly begins to sink into the ground beneath you as if it were quicksand. Looks like you'd better decide quickly whether you want it or not.
(Jin luk: 1+1)
Your waiver transforms itself into a perfectly ordinary bulletproof vest. You'll be set if anyone tries to shoot you, but against swords and spells and the like, you doubt that it'll do you much good.
(http://i.imgur.com/DyIBKDc.png)
Red: Derm
Blue: Jim
Orange: Killa Beez
White: Beirus
Brown: Obmar
Purple: PANT
Pink: Unlucky Eamon
Yellow: Jin Lemons
Guess we're doing secret stuff now.
When you pick up the bat, you immediately notice two things. The first is that the resin's stickiness makes superglue seem like sugar water. The only way that you're going to be able to put this thing down now is by chopping off your hands at the wrists, which wouldn't exactly be good for your health. But hey, at least it wouldn't hurt, because the second thing that you notice is that your hands have gone completely numb. Walking over to the lake, you dip the bat in the water, forming a thick yellow sheet of solidified goo which slowly floats downstream. It almost looks like it could be used as a stepping-stone, but something tells you that getting on that thing is a one-way ticket to falling off the island to your death.
Jim quickly adjusts to his new mask, and takes some of the liquid off his body, dropping it into the river.
Plans and movements and testings
Action PMed.
"Killing people is fun. Mind telling me what you do, exactly?"
With the talking and the sneaky stuff.
The PANT luck strikes again, hehehehe!
Ahem.
O great Rasalas, what powers do you possess that will aid me in smiting those who oppose me?
I almost forgot that habitual PM!
(Jim spd: 4)
(Derm spd: 5+2+2)
(Eamon spd: 2+1)
(Beirus spd: 3+2+2)
(PANT spd: 3)
(Derm dex: 4+2)
(Jim spd: 2)
(Derm aff: 6+2)
(Jim aff: 2)
(Beirus dex: 5+2)
(Jim spd: NA)
(Ironhead spd: 6+2)
(Jim end: 2)
(Pant aff: 5+6)
(Beirus spd: 3+2)
(Beirus end: 1-6)
Derm and Beirus both flash each other a quick thumbs-up from across the island, before focusing on Jim. Derm is the first to act, firing a wavy purple beam out of the eye which hits Jim square in the back, causing him to stagger slightly, let out a yawn, and then fall asleep right where he's at. By the time he's hit the ground, Beirus is in position, his iron head telling him what he needs to do.
"Alright greenie, let's kill some people. All you gotta do is throw me in the right direction, and I'll take care of the rest."
Following the head's advice, Beirus hurls him straight towards the sleeping Jim. Despite Beirus' weak little arms, the head accelerates to cannonball speeds and plows straight into Jim, reducing him to little more than a red smear on the ground. Eamon, who had been advancing towards Jim all the while, curses his luck, while Beirus celebrates, only to be interrupted by a surprise attack from PANT. The scrawny Mexican hardly even has to point a finger at Beirus to call down a bolt of dazzling-white lightning to erase him from existence.
"Well done, my luminous disciple! I can feel my power increasing already! My only disappointment is that I was not able to display the full extent of my abilities, but perhaps a later sacrifice will be worthy of their use!"
(PANT luk: 2+6+4+1)
As the last of Beirus' ashes are carried off by the wind, a writhing mass of tentacles bursts from the ground, quickly coiling itself into a tight sphere of slightly quivering flesh and floating gently into PANT's arms. As he takes hold of the sphere, he notices several endlessly churning portals, each one following a person on the island at a steady distance, looking almost like they might swallow them up, but exerting no noticeable influence on the world around them.
Search the building to the left.
You walk into the cabin to your left and find it to be completely empty, apart from the motes of dust which float through the air and occasionally settle in heaps on the ground. Safe as this place may be, if you want loot, you're gonna have to kill someone for it.
Put on the vest. Get the the closest building, The bottom right one in the town.
You strap on your vest and dart into the bottom right building, moments before you see a massive bolt of lightning vaporize some guy on the edge of the village.
JIM AND BEIRUS ARE DEAD! GODRIK SPAWNS AS BLUE, AND THE ROACH SPAWNS AS WHITE!
(Godrik luk: 3+1)
Godrik's waiver becomes a seven-foot long greatsword, polished to such an extent that is is serviceable as a mirror. Giving it an experimental swing, Godrik finds that it leaves a sort of afterimage behind the blade, which has all the same qualities of steel, although it only lasts for about ten seconds before fading away.
(Roach luk: -5-3)
The Roach's waiver transforms itself into a feral-looking black dog, slightly higher at the shoulder than the average horse, and armored with plates of red-hot metal that cause the very air around the creature to shimmer from the heat. The hellhound takes one good long look at The Roach, before letting loose with a terrifying howl and beginning to run towards him.
(http://i.imgur.com/bnUDRWc.png)
Red: Derm
Blue: Godrik
Orange: Killa Beez
White: The Roach
Brown: Obmar
Purple: PANT
Pink: Unlucky Eamon
Yellow: Jin Lemons
Player: Elephant Parade
Name: Flimsy Wizard
Description: A fragile-looking man with generic wizard clothes. He reminds you slightly of a lizard, for some reason.
Stats
Strength------
Endurance------
Dexterity++++++
Speed------
Affinity++++++
Luck +++++
Edit: Also, though it was probably fairly obvious from the sheet, I'd like to be waitlisted.
Edit: I missed a stat. What. How did I even do that?
Waitlist Please
Name: Darren Kelly
Looks: Short, stocky with red hair and a short moustache and goatee
Stats:
Strength: +3
Endurance: +1
Dexterity: -1
Speed: +2
Affinity: -5
Luck: 0
Smiling to himself while imaging uses of such a weapon, Godrik follows Eamon in a steady pace, bent on calling latter for a duel, to test his new weapon and mettle.
Aye, let's duel.
Go stab Godrik.
(Godrik spd: 6+1)
(Eamon spd: 6+1)
(Godrik dex: 5+2)
(Eamon dex: 3+1)
(Godrik spd: 5+1)
(Eamon spd: 2+1)
(Godrik str: 4+2)
(Eamon end: 1+1)
Meeting each other right in the center of the peninsula, Godrik and Eamon begin their duel, circling each other like fighting tomcats in a back alley before both striking out at once. Eamon thrusts his spear right at Godrik's throat, but in a single fluid motion Godrik ducks beneath the attack and swings his sword in a wide arc, neatly bisecting his opponent, who's lower body crumples to the ground, his torso resting on the blade's solid afterimage.
(Godrik luk: 1+1)
As the afterimage fades and Eamon's torso joins his legs in a bloody pile on the ground, a helmet made from some sort of horned skull appears atop Godrik's head. As far as protection goes, it's not going to do much, but at least it looks nice and spooky.
This dust could be carbon monoxide! That is not safe for stable living conditions! Run outside and punch red dot.
Okay, well fuck whatever I was doing, go Lazer the hell out of Stef. And then drown him.
(Obmar spd: 1+3)
(Derm spd: 3+2+2)
(Derm dex: 3+2)
(Obmar spd: 3+3)
(Obmar dex: 4+1)
(Derm spd: 1+2+2)
Screaming like a certain action hero with an eerily similar name, Obmar charges out of the cabin, sausage-arms flailing as he narrowly avoids one of Derm's purple rays. He then puts everything he's got into a lightning-fast jab at Derm, but the hypnotist's lightweight metal frame lets him avoid the attack by a hair's breadth.
...Nopenopenopenopenope... Run toward Sarrak and NAV, saying nope along the way, and hopefully sicking the hellhound on them
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Oh man min maxing in this game is the best thing ever
I shall see if there are any who are worthy of your wrath, O Celestial Lord. Oh, and do you know what this tentacle orb thing does? Whisper it, though.
PM sending
(Roach spd: 4+6)
(Hellhound spd: 1)
(PANT spd: 1)
(Pant aff: 5+6)
(Hellhound str: 3+4)
(Roach str: 6-3)
As fast as The Roach is, from where he is to where the duel just happened is gonna take him two turns to run, but he figures that so long as he can get the hell away from his 'loot', he can work out a new plan later. Sprinting like a jackrabbit, he leaves the hellhound in the dust, leaving the creature to look for easier prey. Being on the lower end on the sliding scale of animal intelligence, it decides that easier prey means the aspiring demigod who is trying to slink away behind a building. To its credit, it manages to get fairly close to him, before a booming voice calls out, seemingly from behind it.
"THE BRIGHTER THE LIGHT, THE DARKER THE SHADOW! AND AS THE BRIGHTEST LIGHT OF ALL, MY SHADOW IS DARKER THAN ALL OTHERS COMBINED! NOW BEAST, YOU AND YOUR MASTER SHALL FALL TOGETHER BEFORE THE STARLIGHT KING!"
That's the last thing it hears before it suddenly finds itself hurled backwards into a small black sphere about the size of a grapefruit, where it vanishes without a trace. It is soon followed by a large chunk of wall from a nearby house, and even from as far away as he is, it is all that The Roach can do to keep from getting sucked in as well.
Alright PM being sent.
You're cowering in the corner by the door when you suddenly hear some sort of commotion coming from outside, followed by a sizable chunk of the back wall being torn off and sucked into oblivion.
Go.
You creep through the tall grass, like some sort of strangely-sticky jungle-cat stalking prey. It's not as easy as you pictured it being, mostly because your bat keeps sticking to the plants, but eventually you make it to the southern cabin, your weapon looking more like a freakish cactus than any spike bat you've ever seen.
UNLUCKY EAMON IS DEAD! THE MONK SPAWNS AS PINK!
(Monk luk: 1+1)
The Monk's waiver becomes an ordinary wooden branch, that looks like it could have been cut from any old tree, apart from a small message carved into the fatter end of it.
'Speak Softly.'
(http://i.imgur.com/HB5yaAt.png)
Red: Derm
Blue: Godrik
Orange: Killa Beez
White: The Roach
Brown: Obmar
Purple: PANT
Pink: The Monk
Yellow: Jin Lemons
Player: Elephant Parade
Name: Flimsy Wizard
Description: A fragile-looking man with generic wizard clothes. He reminds you slightly of a lizard, for some reason.
Stats
Strength------
Endurance------
Dexterity++++++
Speed------
Affinity++++++
Luck +++++
"Aha!"
Using afterimage, I run atop the river to join carnage on the other side. Defend & slice someone.
Keep going where I'm going. Steal the huge sword from Godrik. Throw it in the river
.-. Well I gots nothing to loses. PM sending.
PM sent!
Beams, beams and more beams. Then the drowning.
Plan commenced!
Punch red dot.
(Godrik spd: 2+1)
(Roach spd: 5+6)
(Jin spd: 4+1)
(PANT spd: 2)
(Derm spd: 6+2+2)
(Beez spd: 4+3)
(Obmar spd: 4+3)
(Roach dex: 5-3)
(Godrik spd: 2+1)
(Derm dex: 2+2)
(Obmar spd: 2+3)
(Beez dex: 1+1)
(Obmar dex: 2+1)
(Derm spd: 2+2+2)
(Beez str: 1+3)
(Obmar end: 1+1)
(Obmar str: 5+1)
(Beez end: 1+1)
(Jin dex: 4+1)
(PANT spd: 2)
(Jin str: 5-2)
(PANT str: 2-6)
(Godrik dex: 1+2) For swording across the river
(Godrik dex: 6+2-2) For actually attacking
(Beezmar spd: (5+2+0+0)/2) Obmar and Beez are stuck together, so I averaged their rolls. Beez being unconscious made this quite detrimental to their survival
(Godrik str: 4+2)
(Beezmar end: (3+1+0+0)/2)
Continuing his mad dash across the island, The Roach spots Godrik about to do something tricky, and figures that he might as well interfere with it. He tries to grab hold of Godrik's sword, but Godrik spots him and barely sidesteps out of the way, before starting to sweep his sword back and forth in front of himself, creating a sort of staircase from the afterimage, which he tentatively starts to ascend. Meanwhile across the river, Derm charges up another turban beam, but Obmar sees the eye's purple glow and ducks, the beam passing harmlessly over his head. He then winds up for another punch with his sausage arms, at the same time that Killa Beez comes crashing through the undergrowth, flailing his spiked bat like a lunatic. The two of them attack Derm simultaneously, but the man of metal quickly ducks, letting his two assailants strike each other instead. Killa Beez' bat sinks deep into Obmar's side and adheres there, not moments before he is knocked out cold by a gloved fist colliding with his skull. Far away, by the town, PANT's hands begin to spark wildly as he and Rasalas prepare to smite The Roach, but he is suddenly interrupted by a forceful shove from Jin Lemons, which sends him hurtling off of the edge of the island to his death. Meanwhile, above the river now, Godrik finds that using your sword as a staircase without cutting off your own legs is not nearly as easy as one would imagine, and he only barely manages to stumble onto the opposite shore, struggling not to trip as he swings his sword at Killa Beez and Obmar. Even as off-balance as he is, he has no trouble hitting his two targets and cleaving them in twain, before tumbling to the ground in a disoriented heap.
(Jin luk: 2+1+3)
Smiling at having taken down the baddest bastard on the island without so much as being scratched, Jin turns around to see a full-size ballista on a swivel mount behind him. Beside the weapon is a bundle of bolts, each as long and thick as a spear and dripping with a corrosive green fluid.
(Godrik luk: 5+1+2)
Lying flat on his back and breathing heavily, Godrik suddenly notices a hand outstretched in front of him, accompanied by the start of a sonnet, delivered in a raspy voice with a posh English accent.
"Get up, get up, there is no time to waste,
For I have got experiments to run,
On the effects of draughts, tinctures, and pastes,
On those who fight us, oh summoning one."
Taking the hand, Godrik finds him yanked swiftly to his feet and face to face with a man clad in a set of multicolored robes and a plague masked forged from some sort of unnaturally smooth black metal, which conceals his face.
"Apothecary is my name and trade,
My passion lies in sciences and war,
Two-hundred dozen potions I have made,
And with your help, I shall make many more."
PM sent
Ignoring the carnage going on all around you, you take your stick and dart into the house to the southeast, ready to clobber anyone who comes in after you.
PANT, OBMAR, AND KILLA BEEZ ARE DEAD! JENKINS SPAWNS AS ORANGE, SMASH SPAWNS AS BROWN, AND ED THE IDIOT SPAWNS AS PURPLE!
(Jenkins luk: 4+4)
Jenkins' waiver turns into something like an industrial jackhammer, but easily the size of a small car. While it's surprisingly easy to pick up, its size makes it difficult to swing around with any great accuracy, although a single blow from that thing when powered on could probably split a small mountain in half.
(SMASH luk: -4-1)
SMASH's waiver becomes a big rock. A very big rock. In fact, it's the kind of rock that might crush you to death if you try and pick it up for more than a couple of seconds at a time. But SMASH doesn't care about that. To him, that rock's the ultimate utensil in SMASHING, and heavy or no, he's gonna SMASH stuff with it.
(Ed luk: 1+3)
Ed's waiver becomes a large sack, filled to the brim with what look to be some sort of land mines.
(http://i.imgur.com/sn5tyQj.png)
Red: Derm
Blue: Godrik
Orange: Jenkins
White: The Roach
Brown: SMASH
Purple: Ed the Idiot
Pink: The Monk
Yellow: Jin Lemons
Name: Ragnarök
Looks: Seems to be radiating spacetime. How does that even work?
Stats:
Strength: ++
Endurance: --
Dexterity: ------
Speed: ++++++
Affinity: ++++++
Luck: ------
Name: Flabort
Looks: A Tibbit, or a very short humanoid with lots and lots of cat-like traits. Supposedly with the ability to turn into a housecat. This particular one is wearing the robes of a high-order wizard, dyed black, with folds and pockets for holding everything he could ever need as a wizard. He seems upset and confused about every single spellcasting tool is missing from his pockets and he can't cast a thing without them. He's got a mild-tan-color hair, like that of a siamese cat.
Strength -----
Endurance ---
Dexterity ++
Speed -
Affinity +++++
Luck ++
Name: Morgan
Looks: Simple grey suit and tie. Average businessman basically. I guess he lost the briefcase during the trip?
Stats:
Strength: -2
Endurance: -1
Dexterity: +0
Speed: -1
Affinity: +3
Luck: +1
Edit: Char done I guess.
2xEdit Combo: Sidenote, you have no idea how much time I spent on anydice comparing output tables for various stat values. Low negative values really don't appeal to me, heh. +3 for any attribute other than luck basically seems to provide the best value for your point given that a guaranteed 4 is pretty damn good, and it also provides basically a 50% chance of going over 6 and beating a standard d6 regardless of that die's outcome. Comparatively, -3 means you're guaranteed to get a 3 or less which is obviously awful. Side side note, can roll values other than luck go negative in these? Been awhile since I watched/participated in looters, but does say 2-3 equal 1 or -1. Weee mechanics. Not sure why I'm saying all of this given that it'd help my opposition, but hey.
Name: Charles Barkley
Looks: COME ON AND SLAM, IF YOU WANT TO JAM. (http://www.talesofgames.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/barkley1_screenshot_13.png)
Stats:
Strength: +++
Endurance: +++
Dexterity: ++
Speed: ++++
Affinity: ------
Luck: ------
Do the thing that needs to be done
PM sent.
Wahahahahaha. PM Sent
PM Sent.
PM
(Jenkins spd: 4-2)
(SMASH spd: 3)
(Jin spd: 2+1)
(Monk spd: 6)
(Roach spd: 3+6)
(Roach dex: 6-3)
(Jenkins spd: 6-2)
(Monk dex: 6+2)
(Jin spd: 1+1)
(Monk str: 1+2)
(Jin end: 5+2)
(Jin aff: 4-1)
(Jin dex: 1-1-2)
(SMASH dex: 6+1)
(Monk spd: 4)
(SMASH str: 4+6+4)
(Monk end: 5+1)
(SMASH str: 4+6-1)
Faster than a speeding bullet, The Roach leaps at Jenkins , delivering a flying haymaker square to his jaw. Unfortunately, Jenkins has had to put up with far worse abuse from his corporate higher-ups, and isn't even fazed by the blow as he lugs his enormous jackhammer towards the town, where The Monk is making a mad dash towards Jin and his ballista. Grabbing one of the bolts, he thrusts it like a spear at the lemony man, but it hardly even manages to graze his skin. Some of the blue liquid from the bolt manages to get in the wound though, and Jin suddenly finds himself moving... veeeeeeeeerrrrry... sloooowlyyy. Too slow, in fact, to line up a proper ballista shot at his assailant, who raises his bolt-spear for the killing blow when a gigantic figure suddenly looms up behind him, holding a boulder the size of a small truck.
"SMASH!!!"
That's the last thing that The Monk hears before he becomes a little red smear on the underside of SMASH's rock. A rock which seems to be growing heavier by the minute, in fact, although SMASH's smashing muscles don't seem to be having any trouble with it for the time being.
(SMASH luk: -6-1-4)
As SMASH strikes an Atlas-like pose with his rock, a small square of red cloth materializes on the ground in front of him. On first glance, it appears to be an ordinary red bandanna, but upon further inspection, it becomes apparent that it was originally white, and that the red color comes from the large amount of blood that it has been soaked with.
"And so, it comes to another duel! Try to strike me, steel monstrosity! Apothecary, your aid would be appreciated greatly!"
Lazer-eyed Derm must die to my sword and my ally potions!
"... Pfffft."
Beam Sarrak. See if I can't use a more powerful beam than just 'sleepy time'.
(Godrik spd: 2+1)
(Derm spd: 1+2+2)
(Apothecary spd: 6+2)
(Apothecary aff: 5+2)
(Derm dex: 6+2)
(Godrik spd: 6+1)
(Derm aff: 2+2)
(Godrik aff: 6-6)
While Derm and Godrik square off, Apothecary begins another verse.
"I urge you, ally, try and hold your breath
A powder I've prepared is what I'll show
When brought into the lungs it causes death
But I fear it cannot tell friend from foe."
With that, a silvery-black powder begins to flow from beneath the apothecary's robes, filling the area around him and slowly creeping towards Derm and Godrik, who are now locked in combat. As Godrik raises his sword, he is caught full in the chest by a purple beam from Derm, knocking him unconscious instantly, although unconsciousness really seems to be the worst that the beams can do.
Right then, new turn, just to test, set up a landmine and then start chucking some rocks at it to try to set it off.
You put down a landmine, walk a fair distance away, and then throw a stone at it, causing it to explode in a ball of fire ten feet across.
THE MONK IS DEAD! SYSTAR SPAWNS AS PINK!
(Systar luk: 1+1)
Systar's waiver becomes a skull and crossbones flag, waving on the end of an eleven foot long pole. The whole things seems to be quite cheaply made, with the flag being shoddily painted and the pole made from some sort of suspiciously brittle aluminum, but if there's someone you want dead who you wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, then this is the tool for the job.
(http://i.imgur.com/RrYWlOC.png)
Red: Derm
Blue: Godrik
Orange: Jenkins
White: The Roach
Brown: SMASH
Purple: Ed the Idiot
Pink: Systar
Yellow: Jin Lemons
Name: Red
Description: A teenager wearing a red jacket and blue jeans.
Strength+
Endurance=
Dexterity++
Speed=
Affinity------
Luck+++
Name: Jenna
Description: A teenager wearing a red dress, with long flowing red hair.
Strength------
Endurance++++++
Dexterity------
Speed+
Affinity-
Luck++++++
Name: Biff Bam Boom
Looks: Bigger than a barn, hairier than a bear, more muscular than a profesional bodybuilder. Wears a black vest, jeans, black combat boots, and a red bandana.
Stats:
Strength: ++++++
Endurance: ++++++
Dexterity: -
Speed: +
Affinity: ------
Luck: ------
"Ahoy there! I appear to have been appointed to be a pirate! Well, a pirate's life for me!"
Do some stuff.
You take the flag off of the pole and wear it around your neck like a cape, before breaking the aluminum pole over your knee, leaving you with two flimsy rods both just over five feet, with jagged ends that could serve as passable shanks, provided that they don't break when you try to gut somebody with them.
Grab Godrick, run away from the toxic mist while keeping along the river, and hold his head under till bubbles stop coming up, then a minute more besides.
Be a man worthy of legends. Fight while unconscious!
(Godrik aff: 4-6)
(Derm spd: 4+2+2)
(Apothecary spd: 3+2)
Having had enough of assisting people with their own kills, Derm lugs Godrik's unconscious body to the river and holds his head under until bubbles stop coming up, expediting the process with a couple of sharp punches to the diaphragm.
(Derm luk: 6+6+4)
As Godrik's corpse floats downstream and off the cliff, a vehicle looking somewhat like a tank but with many, many, many more guns appears next to Derm. Said guns range from standard-looking rifles and rocket launchers to flamethrowers to things that almost don't look like guns at all, apart from that multitude of barrels and magazines protruding from them. Even the treads on the thing look like they're made of bandoliers, stretched over axles which look remarkably similar to canon muzzles.
THINGS! ACTIONS!
PM Sent
Jenkins will not ignore me. Kick his jackhammer out of his hands.
Sending PM.
PMed
(Jenkins spd: 4-2)
(Ed spd: 4)
(Roach spd: 2+6)
(Jin spd: 2-2-2)
(SMASH spd: 6)
(Roach dex: 2-3)
(Jenkins spd: 2-2)
(SMASH dex: 6+1)
(Jin spd: 1-2-2)
(SMASH str: 5+6+4)
(Ed dex: 5-3)
(Jenkins spd: 3-2)
(Ed str: 4-2)
(Jenkins dex: 5)
(SMASH spd: 5+1)
(SMASH str: 3+6+1-2)
Furious about just being ignored like that, The Roach sprints towards Jenkins once more, this time launching a flying kick towards the jackhammer. Unfortunately, he trips on a pebble as he takes off, missing the jackhammer entirely, flying headlong into the lake. SMASH then takes advantage of Jin's slowness and mashes him into a bloody paste with his rock, his bandanna absorbing a great deal of the blood in the process and energizing him, making him even stronger than he was before. On the north edge of the island, Ed takes a mine out of his sack and tosses it at Jenkins, but while his aim is alright, his throwing arm isn't, and the mine lands on the far side of the lake, exploding harmlessly into a cloud of acrid black smoke. Jenkins however ignores the multitude of attacks aimed at him and runs towards SMASH with his jackhammer raised, and it's only thanks to his newly enhanced reflexes that the giant manages to keep his precious rock from being transformed into a pile of rubble.
(SMASH luk: -1-1-4+1)
Not only does SMASH get to keep his favorite smashing rock, but he also gets new loot. In front of him appears a rather large bomb with a casing crudely welded together from some sort of rune-covered metal. It's roughly the size of his boulder (which seems to be growing heavier by the minute), and he almost considers switching the two out, until he notices one key factor that makes him reconsider: Atop the bomb is a fat fuse, like something out of a bomb on a cartoon. And that fuse is lit, and burning away at a slow yet steady pace.
JIN LEMONS AND GODRIK ARE DEAD! GERALD LONDERAL SPAWNS AS YELLOW, AND BEIRUS 2 SPAWNS AS BLUE
(Gerald luk: 5+1)
Gerald's waiver becomes a great bow made from some sort of flexible red crystal, along with a set of arrows made from the same material. It catches the light in a very strange way, and as he picks it up, he can see 'through' both people and buildings, giving him an unrestricted view of the island.
(Beirus luk: 6+6)
Beirus' waiver wraps around his body, becoming a long green cloak that billows seemingly independent of the wind. As the clasp on the cloak comes together of its own accord, Beirus can feel some sort of strange energy accumulating around himself, his feet floating off of the ground and his hands wrapping themselves in some sort of invisible force-field, which quickly expands to cover his entire body.
(http://i.imgur.com/Yaqaora.png)
Red: Derm
Blue: Beirus II
Orange: Jenkins
White: The Roach
Brown: SMASH
Purple: Ed the Idiot
Pink: Systar
Yellow: Gerald Londeral
Name: Billy Snow
Looks: An awful looking rapper
Stats:
Strength: ------
Endurance: +++
Dexterity: +
Speed: -
Affinity: +++
Luck: ++++++
Name: Austin
Looks: He wears jeans and a hoodie, but the hood never obscures his playful grin and sparkling eyes.
Stats:
Strength: ------
Endurance: ------
Dexterity: ++++
Speed: ++++++
Affinity: +
Luck: +
Oh sweet Jesus.
Engage Tactical Plan 72b
Activate plan GDT.
By that I mean the PM.
"Well blow me down!"
Shiver me timbers!
((Just watch as my next loot is an iron mask. :P))
I am Dr. Beirus. All hail Greenveria
BOMB GO!
(Derm spd: 4+2+2)
(Jenkins spd: 4-2)
(Ed spd: 5)
(Systar spd: 5+1)
(Beirus aff: 1+6) No, using affinity is not a typo here
(SMASH spd: 2+1)
(Derm dex: 3+2)
(Derm dex: 4+2)
(Derm dex: 3+2)
(SMASH spd: 4+1)
(SMASH end: 3+1)
(Jenkins spd: 4-2)
(Jenkins end: 3)
(Jenkins end: 5)
(Jenkins end: 2)
(Beirus aff: 4+6)
(Beirus aff: 2+6)
(Beirus aff: 2+6)
(SMASH spd: 5+1-2)
(SMASH end: 6+1)
(SMASH end: 5+1)
(SMASH end: 1+1)
(Systar dex: 4+1)
(Ed spd: 2)
(Systar str: 6-3)
(Ed end: 1+1)
(Ed dex: 2-3)
(Ed end: 2+1)
(Systar end: 6)
Derm climbs into his tank and fires a volley of hot lead, explosives, and plasma at SMASH and Jenkins, completely annihilating the dimensionally displaced businessman, and blowing a large chunk out of SMASH's thigh. Beirus flies across the arena like a green streak of lightning and arrives in the tank moments later, firing a second volley and magically assisting all of the shots so that they fly directly towards SMASH, who manages to endure the first few rounds before a glob of superheated plasma goes straight through his head. No longer content with just enjoying the lightshow from the safety of his tower, Systar runs outside, heading towards Ed, who is just about to lob a mine at the supertank. Even as weak as he is, he manages to make a pretty good sized gash on Ed's arm with his aluminum shanks, and as it turns out, that's all that he really needed to do. Ed drops his mine in shock, and the thing goes off, this time calling down a great bolt of lightning from the sky, reducing Ed to a small pile of hot ash.
(Derm luk: 6+6)
As the smoke and superheated gas clears, Derm notices a funny feeling on his face and notices that he has grown a quite spectacular mustache, spanning nearly twelve feet across from end to end. With a little concentration, he finds that he can actually manipulate it, transforming it into a pair of hands or wings or all sorts of other shapes.
(Beirus luk: 1+6+5)
Pushing Derm's magnificent stache out of his face with his forcefield, Beirus feels something hard atop his head, and finds that he now wears an ornate white pith helmet, with a long brass spike at the top. The entire thing is very heavily decorated, and there is an insignia on the front in the shape of a golden heart with two swords piercing through it. While he doesn't feel any different, Beirus has this uncanny feeling that this will come in very handy in the near future.
(Systar luk: 1+1)
With Ed the Idiot dead, Systar's hoard of dollar-store weaponry increases by one, with the addition of a plain wooden rocking horse. A sticker on the side of it claims that it comes with a cap pistol as part of a package deal, but sadly there is no cap pistol to be found anywhere nearby.
Get Outta Da Watah!!!
You get outta da watah, and prepare for WAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH!
JENKINS, SMASH, AND ED ARE DEAD! BOB SPAWNS AS ORANGE, FLIMSY WIZARD SPAWNS AS BROWN, AND DARREN KELLEY SPAWNS AS PURPLE!
(Bob luk: 3)
Bob's waiver transforms into a very average shotgun, befitting of the veryy average man that he is.
(Flimsy luk: 3+6)
Flimsy's waiver turns into a violin and bow carved from polished lapis lazuli. The whole thing seems to have a rose-petal motif, and at the end of the bow is a long spike made to look like a plant's thorn.
(Darren luk: 6)
Darren's waiver becomes an ornate steel sword, with a jagged blade and a human skull on the hilt. Along with his facial hair, it gives him a very Disney-Villain esque look.
(http://i.imgur.com/MLx4MuQ.png)
Derm (Red): Metal sleep-laser turban, big damn tank with big damn guns, gigantic mustache
Beirus II (Blue): Maaaagic cape, fancy pith helmet
Bob (Orange): Perfectly normal shotgun
The Roach (White): Nothing
Flimsy Wizard (Brown): Blue rose violin
Darren Kelley (Purple): Bad guy sword
Systar (Pink): Pirate cape, aluminum shanks, rocking horse
Gerald Londeral (Yellow): X-ray bow
...Play a song?
Team Omega, REPORT IN!
Break that guys violin
Kill the guy with the shotgun!
Hop on the rocking horse and have a great time!
I am now Kaiser Beirus. All hail Greenmany!
Take cover, shoot back.
(Flimsy spd: 4-6)
(Derm spd: 3+2+2)
(Roach spd: 5+6)
(Darren spd: 5+2)
(Systar spd: 5+1)
(Beirus aff: 3+6)
(Bob spd: 4)
(Roach dex: 5-3)
(Flimsy spd: 4-6)
(Roach str: 6-3)
(Flimsy str: 4-6)
(Beirus aff: 6+6)
(Beirus aff: 6+6)
(Beirus aff: 4+6)
(Bob spd: 1)
(Bob end: 1)
(Bob end: 6)
(Bob end: 4)
(Systar dex: 2+1)
(Flimsy spd: 1-6)
(Systar str: 4-3)
(Flimsy end: 2-6)
Having had enough of being ignored, The Roach decides to pick on the one character on the island entirely lacking in defensive stats. Running up to Flimsy Wizard, he wrenches the violin away from him and snaps it across his knee like some sort of schoolyard bully. Meanwhile, on the other side of the island, our favorite villainous duo drives their tank straight across the river, Kaiser Beirus taking aim and completely obliterating Bob with a volley of hot lead and plasma. Derm also takes aim, focusing on the doorway to the home that Darren is hiding in. Unfortunately for him, Darren never steps out of the house, seeing no reason to endanger himself with his target having been killed by somebody else. With a sigh, Derm continues to drive the tank, rolling steadily along to pick up... Oh shit, Flimsy! Taking advantage of The Roach's distraction, Systar runs up before Flimsy can react and shanks him repeatedly with his aluminum rods. Even though Systar might not be the strongest fellow out there, Flimsy's... well, flimsy, and goes down in seconds, looking more like a bloodyy hunk of swiss cheese than a person, or even a lizard.
(Beirus luk: 6+6)
Somewhat saddened by the loss of a potential ally, Beirus joins Derm in sighing, before he hears a squeaky, somewhat grating voice behind him in the tank.
"No need to feel down buddy, his loot was garbage anyways."
The voice belongs to a young woman seated comfortably in one of the tank's back seats with one leg crossed over the other. She's wearing a bright orange suit with a pork pie hat of the same color, and her wavy red hair is draped over her shoulders and tied like a scarf.
"All it did was grow these weird stone rosebushes, which would've tangled up this tank of yours if he used it in here. 'Sides, if he got killed by a wannabe pirate with a broken flagpole, he probably wasn't teammate material anyways. I on the other hand know everything that there is to know about loot, and being a piece of loot myself, I know that I'm one of the better items that you could've gotten."
(Systar luk: 6+1)
As Flimsy's corpse vanishes from existence, Systar gets his first ever non-junk item! It's a full-sized refrigerator made from something that looks like bones, covered in cheap silver paint, perhaps to make it look more like a regular fridge. However, its clever disguise is ruined by both the trail of eerily frosty air wafting from the gaps in the bones, and the pair of enormous skeletal wings protruding from the back, which together with the long trailing power cable, make it look like some sort of demon from hell masquerading as a fridge. Actually, that's probably what it actually is. Better not use it to store anything that you're considering eating.
BOB AND FLIMSY WIZARD ARE DEAD! TOBOGGAN SPAWNS AS ORANGE, AND TANK TOP SPAWNS AS BROWN!
(Toboggan luk: 5+6)
Toboggan's waiver becomes a long rainbow colored trenchcoat which looks as if it's been tie-dyed by a particularly creative summer camper. Putting it on, NAV notices a small dial on one of the arms, with three different settings to it. Melee, Ranged, and Magic... What could those possibly be for?
(Tank Top luk: 5+6)
Tank Top's waiver becomes an enormous pencil, nearly eight feet long. While the tip seems to be made out of regular graphite, the eraser seems to be vibrating slightly, and Tank Top gets a very strong feeling that he should NOT let it come into contact with himself.
(http://i.imgur.com/WknSGkB.png)
Derm (Red): Metal sleep-laser turban, big damn tank with big damn guns, gigantic mustache
Beirus II (Blue): Maaaagic cape, fancy pith helmet, Smartmouth
Toboggan (Orange): Rainbow Trenchcoat
The Roach (White): Nothing
Tank Top (Brown): Gigantic pencil
Darren Kelley (Purple): Bad guy sword
Systar (Pink): Pirate cape, aluminum shanks, rocking horse, Bloodknife
Gerald Londeral (Yellow): X-ray bow
Str: -6
Spd: -6
Dex: +6
Tou: -6
Aff: +6
Luk: +6
Poke a nearby tree with the eraser.
There aren't any trees nearby, so you swipe your eraser across a swath of tall grass, erasing a good sized band of it from existence.
Yay violence!
You quickly set the dial on your robes to ranged, and wade through the tall grass, gesticulating wildly in an effort to make your robe do things. Unfortunately, the robe doesn't react, leading you to believe that this isn't quite how it works.
"Heya. Did you want to grab a gun or are you good over there? Oh, do you know if I can incorporate my turban into the guns?"
The sky is falling.
"Talking loot that tells me about loot? Sweet. So, can you explain to me what my cape and helmet do? I think I've figured the Cape out a bit, but it would be nice to know of anything it does that I haven't figured out. Also, what can you do other than being the Lootcyclopedia Greentanica? Also, tell me quietly. Don't want anybody else hearing."
Hail Greentain. Long live the Green!
Now that's more like it!
"Ahoy there, possibly demonic fridge! What great mysteries do you conceal?"
Check out the contents of the necrofridge. Is the cord plugged in? Plug it in if it isn't. Eat anything that looks like it won't kill me horribly.
Kick Systar into the fridge and close it on him. Revenge for kill stealing me
Sneak to the house above the one I am hiding in. Try not to get shot by the tank.
(Derm spd: 4+2+2)
(Beirus aff: 5+6)
(Smartmouth spd: 5)
(Systar spd: 2+1)
(Roach spd: 4+6)
(Darren spd: 3+2)
(Beirus aff: 2+6)
(Beirus aff: 2+6)
(Beirus aff: 6+6)
(Systar spd: 3+1)
(Systar end: 5)
(Systar end: 5)
(Systar end: 2)
(Roach spd: 3+6)
(Roach end: 5+6)
(Derm dex: 1+2)
(Derm dex: 6+2)
(Derm dex: 3+2)
(Roach spd: 5+6)
(Smartmouth dex: 2)
(Smartmouth dex: 2)
(Smartmouth dex: 4)
(Smartmouth dex: 1)
(Smartmouth dex: 3)
(Smartmouth dex: 3)
(Darren spd: 4+2)
Knowing an opportunity for a double kill when he sees one, Beirus tilts his guns skyward and fires an arcing volley at Systar and The Roach. The shots come down like metal rain, and while Systar and his fridge are filled with enough holes to pass for swiss cheese, The Roach comes out of it with nothing more than a few cuts and burns on one of his arms. Derm attempts to correct this with another volley, but like his namesake, The Roach is incredibly difficult to kill, and dodges the volley with ease. Taking advantage of the distraction, Darren tries to sneak his way up to one of the northern houses, but is spotted by Smartmouth, who hops onto one of the tank's guns and fires an inhuman amount of bullets at him. Through some sort of miracle though, Darren manages to dodge every single bullet, none of them even coming close enough to graze his hitbox head.
(Beirus luk: 5+6+2)
As the dust clears from around where Systar was shot, a grand copper scepter falls into Beirus' hands, topped with a large emerald in the shape of a crab's claw. While it may look fairly ordinary compared to Derm's mustache or tank, there's an utterly unbelievable amount of power coming off of it, to the point where the entire island appears to be bathed in a dark green glow.
SYSTAR IS DEAD! RAGNAROK SPAWNS AS PINK!
(Ragnarok luk: -5-6)
Ragnarok's waiver becomes a blue beanie, with the phrase "GOTTA GO FAST!" sewed onto the top of it. There is only one possible thing that this could mean...
(http://i.imgur.com/3FAuTwl.png)
Derm (Red): Metal sleep-laser turban, big damn tank with big damn guns, gigantic mustache
Beirus II (Blue): Maaaagic cape, fancy pith helmet, Smartmouth, crabclaw scepter
Toboggan (Orange): Rainbow Trenchcoat
The Roach (White): Nothing
Tank Top (Brown): Gigantic pencil
Darren Kelley (Purple): Bad guy sword
Ragnarok (Pink): Sanic hat
Gerald Londeral (Yellow): X-ray bow
Player: Elephant Parade
Name: Flimsy Wizard
Description: A fragile-looking man with generic wizard clothes. He reminds you slightly of a lizard, for some reason.
Stats
Strength------
Endurance------
Dexterity------
Speed++++++
Affinity++++++
Luck +++++
(http://feelthefilms.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/psycho-anthony-perkins-as-norman-bates.jpg)
Ya'll ready for dis? Hold my tank.
(http://th06.deviantart.net/fs23/150/f/2007/315/c/d/Green_Chaos_Emerald_by_JaydenDragon.jpg)
Oh wow just noticed there's a third one now! I'm signing up with a classic LD character, Lucky!
Name: Lucky
Looks: Average to weak looking, but makes up for that his extreme luck. May or may not be a lolicon.... maybe.
Stats:
Strength: --
Endurance: -
Speed: -
Affinity: -
Luck: +++++
And I asked this the other times too with making lucky, but could you nudge the loot maker of yours to make me a loli? Wouldn't feel like Lucky with out a extremely dangerous little girl sidekick to make up for his pitiful stats.
Ah fuck, can't believe I missed this. Waitlist, pls.
Name: Jimminy
Looks: A stout man with a luxurious, full beard which brings him great strength, but is destructive to magic.
Stats:
Strength: ++++
Endurance: +++
Dexterity:
Speed: --
Affinity: -----
Luck:
Dammit beirus, why do you get all the kills?
"That was fun! Now die!"
Run toward the guys who shot at me and beat them up.
Hohoho!
Sneaky sneaky
It's the Greenpocalypse! Greenmageddon! Greenarok!
Hide from the tank team.
We're all gonna die.
Continue to be completely naked under my rainbow trenchcoat.
Go at the speed of Sanic all the way over to orange dot and punch him in the balls.
My Beanie is the Star of Morning, the child of dawn. The fist thrown into Tobbogan shall obtain victory!
(Derm spd: 1+2+2)
(Roach spd: 4+6)
(TANK TOP spd: 4)
(Beirus aff: 1+6)
(Smartmouth spd: 6)
(Darren spd: 2+2)
(Toboggan spd: 2+6)
(Ragnarok spd: 5+6+10)
(Ragnarok dex: 2-6)
(Toboggan spd: 6+6)
(Roach dex: 6-3)
(Smartmouth spd: 2)
(Roach str: 2-3)
(Smartmouth end: 5+8)
(Beirus aff: 5+6+10)
(TANK TOP end: 1)
(Darren end: 6+1)
(Gerald end: 0) I'm just killing him off here, because he hasn't moved since he spawned.
(Toboggan end: MAGIC IMMUNE)
(Smartmouth dex: 2)
(Smartmouth dex: 4)
(Smartmouth dex: 2)
(Smartmouth dex: 1)
(Smartmouth dex: 2)
(Smartmouth dex: 5)
(Roach spd: 5+6)
(Derm aff: 1+6)
(Roach end: 3+6)
Using his supersanic speed, Ragnarok flies through the tall grass towards Toboggan and tries to deliver a crippling blow to his manhood. Sadly, he's not used to this kind of speed, and completely misjudges the timing of his punch, missing his target entirely. Meanwhile, on the other side of the island, The Roach decides to attack the tank team before they become any more overpowered than they already are. Charging towards the tank at full speed, he leaps into the air, his fist aimed directly at Smartmouth's head. For a moment, it looks like the attack is going to connect, but then the air around the tank shimmers slightly, and The Roach's fist collides with a transparent barrier instead of Smartmouth's skull.
"Nice try, buddy. You almost had me worried there for a second. But almost just doesn't cut it when it comes to looting."
As just about every gun on Smartmouth's side of the tank begins to spin up to speed, Beirus raises his scepter into the air, the emerald claw on top of it giving off a flash of light as a snaking wall of jagged emeralds bursts forth from the island. TANK TOP, who was sneaking towards the tank, ready to erase it from existence, is completely torn to shreds. The same happens to Gerald out on the dock, which collapses moments later from the excess weight of the crystalline growths. Darren is slightly safer in his house, until the roof caves in on top of him, crushing his legs into an unrecognizable pulp. Seeing the wave of crystal heading towards him, Toboggan switches the dial on his robe to the 'magic' setting, and watches in wonder as the emerald lances shatter harmlessly against him. And while too close to the tank to be safely targeted by the mass of gems, The Roach has his own problems to deal with. As Smartmouth fires her barrage of bullets, he ducks beneath the tank, only to be caught in a burst of roaring flames from several pipes on the vehicle's underside, and it's only through a miracle that he avoids being burned to a crisp and comes out unscathed.
(Beirus luk: 1+3+6)
As Beirus admires his new emerald paradise, a scimitar the size of a greatsword appears in the tank. It's fashioned from some sort of banded and patterned steel, and the forward edge is heavily serrated, with a large cleft in the tip looking almost like a mouth filled with razor-sharp teeth. A red tassel hangs from the hilt, and there is an eye-shaped hole at the base of the blade, presumably to reduce its weight.
TANK TOP AND GERALD ARE DEAD! FLABORT SPAWNS AS YELLOW, AND MORGAN SPAWNS AS BROWN!
(Flabort luk: 5+2)
Flabort's waiver becomes a large glass orb of an earthy-yellow color. Holding it, he can feel every movement of the earth beneath his feet, and with a little bit of effort, can even manipulate the vibrations.
(Morgan luk: 5+1)
Morgan's waiver becomes a wand topped with a bright red jewel, which glows slightly as if lit by some internal flame.
(http://i.imgur.com/sMap0P7.png)
Derm (Red): Metal sleep-laser turban, big damn tank with big damn guns, gigantic mustache
Beirus II (Blue): Maaaagic cape, fancy pith helmet, Smartmouth, crabclaw scepter, hungry scimitar
Toboggan (Orange): Rainbow Trenchcoat
The Roach (White): Nothing
Morgan (Brown): Red wand
Darren Kelley (Purple): Bad guy sword
Ragnarok (Pink): Sanic hat
Flabort (Yellow): Earthen sphere
Name: THONG
Description: A short Mexican guy wearing a full suit, with a bright orange thong on the outside of it. Background: He's the dad of PANT and TANK TOP. He's out for revenge and stuff.
Stats:
Strength: -6
Endurance: 0
Dexterity: -6
Speed: 0
Affinity: +6
Luck: +6
If this guy dies I'm gonna bust out the really OP combination.
Wait for death
My legs are fucked.
His legs fucked beyond any hope of recovery, Darren breathes a heavy sigh and waits for death. Fortunately (or unfortunately), death arrives rather quickly, in the form of a young woman in a bright orange suit carrying an enormous serrated sword, which comes to life as it approaches Darren and shreds him apart like a chainsaw through warm butter.
(Beirus luk: 3+6)
As the jagged sword literally consumes what remains of Darren, a small atomizer bottle filled with a midnight blue liquid falls into the tank. Pretty as it may be, there's nothing about it that seems any different than a normal perfume bottle, although Smartmouth probably could tell you a thing or twenty about it.
Soo.... Earthbending go?
Create an earthen barrier, then draw earth from around me to lift me and the barrier upwards until I can see over those crystals.
Once I can see them, try to engulf the largest collection of people (that would be the Tank Team + Roach) in an earthy grave.
Split off my section of island and cause the main mass to fall crashing to the ground below.
Split the island roughly in half, causing the side with orange, pink, brown, and purple to crash downwards. If the side of the island I'm on starts to fall instead, use the orbs power to lift it up and keep it above the other side, slide it over so that it's literally above the other side, so that if I die the infidels underneath get crushed anyways.
(Flabort aff: 5+5)
Focusing your power through the sphere, you attempt to shatter the island and cast the majority of it to the far-away ground. However, all you manage to do is create a floating platform of earth beneath you. While it's a nice platform, and quite sizable, it's still a long way from the earth-shattering effect that you were hoping for.
Thought Derm was attacking Roach with Turbanfu.
Anyway, flabort needs to explode in emeralds. Because I can do that. And I'm faster. You, sir, are fucked.
Different actions were sent all sneaky like.
Bolding errors.
Run in the lake so fast the map floods.
Well, I'll just keep doing what I can only do.
Continue pestering the Green Team
Or not.
PM
Go breakdance in front of the tank.
Well, I'm in then. So, who wants to bet on how long I'll survive. I'll be very surprised if I get to my third turn.
Start running and don't stop. Avoid the guntank as much as possible, using the buildings as cover. Test wand against the nearest tree/plant/person that seems hostile. Jump in the lake if for some reason I get set on fire.
Probably too many actions for one turn but they're mostly conditional anyway.
(Beirus aff: 1+6)
(Derm spd: 2+2+2)
(Ragnarok spd: 1+6+10)
(Roach spd: 4+6)
(Toboggan spd: 3+6)
(Morgan spd: 2-1)
(Ragnarok spd: 4+6+10)
(Ragnarok str: 2+2-10)
(Beirus aff: 6+6+10)
(Ragnarok end: 5-2-10)
(Morgan end: 1-1)
(Roach str: 6-3)
(Derm aff: 2+2+4)
(Roach end: 6+6)
Utilizing his powers of fast, Ragnarok sprints out onto the lake and begins to go in circles, failing to flood the map but succeeding in creating a whirling vortex of water and emerald chips, which he is promptly sucked into. Meanwhile, by the tank, Toboggan switches his dial to the ranged setting, and begins to breakdance in front of the tank. While failing to so much as phase Derm or Beirus, his sick moves catch The Roach's attention, who immediately heads out from the relative safety of under the tank to join in. Knowing an opportunity when he sees one, Beirus raises his scepter again, sending another emerald pulse through the map. Atop his waterspout, Ragnarok suddenly notices the emerald flakes carried by the wind begin to grow to the size of shortswords, and he is turned into a smear of red goo not moments afterwards. In the tower, Morgan suffers a similar fate, impaled by an emerald stalactite that suddenly sprouted from the roof. While Toboggan is just outside the range of the wave, The Roach is caught in the fringe, and finds himself not impaled or lacerated, but encased from the shoulders down in green gems. Seeing this, Derm leaps down from the tank and throws a mean right-cross at The Roach, made even meaner by the burst of ki that erupts from his fist as it collides with its target. However, The Roach has survived worse. Far worse. And as the force of the punch shatters his emerald prison while leaving his body completely unharmed, he thinks that he may live long enough to survive worse still.
(Beirus luk: 5+6+6)
With Smartmouth out killing things with the sword and Derm facing off against The Roach on the ground, Beirus finds himself alone in the tank. Which is odd, because he can swear that something in the seat next to him just OHGODWHATINTHENAMEOFFUCKEVENISTHAT? For less than a fraction of a second, something appears in the driver's seat of the tank before vanishing from existence, leaving Beirus to wonder if he's losing his mind. Whatever that something was, it doesn't appear again, and there doesn't seem to be any other new loot in the tank.
DARREN, MORGAN, AND RAGNAROK ARE DEAD! CHARLES BARKLEY SPAWNS AS BROWN, THE GENTLEMAN SPAWNS AS PURPLE, AND RED SPAWNS AS PINK!
(Barkley luk: -1-6)
Charles Barkley's waiver becomes a long silver javelin b-ball with a spider motif, perfectly weighted for throwing slamming.
(Gentleman luk: 6+2)
The Gentleman's waiver becomes an ornate crossbow carved from ivory, made to resemble a man lying spread-eagle. It comes with a quiver full of ebony quarrels, tipped with heart-shaped lumps of grey metal.
(Red luk: 4+3)
Red's waiver transforms into an old-fashioned hand cannon made from solid gold, covered in intricate designs of serpents and eagles. It looks like something that one would find in an old ruin, or an estranged relative's garage sale.
(http://i.imgur.com/RaKbv0H.png)
Derm (Red): Metal sleep-laser turban, big damn tank with big damn guns, gigantic mustache
Beirus II (Blue): Maaaagic cape, fancy pith helmet, Smartmouth, crabclaw scepter, hungry scimitar, some perfume
Toboggan (Orange): Rainbow Trenchcoat
The Roach (White): Nothing
Charles Barkley (Brown): Silver B-ball
Te Gentleman (Purple): Black 'n White Bow
Red (Pink): Golden hand cannon
Flabort (Yellow): Earthen sphere
Crush the cabin with my floating earth chunk, and float under the island on it afterwards.
Peer out the door and snipe Flabort a few times.
(Flabort spd: 4-1)
(Gentleman spd: 6)
(Gentleman dex: 5+2)
(Flabort end: 2-3)
Spotting a newcomer in the vicinity, Flabort sends his chunk of earth hurtling towards the cabin like a meteor, only to be literally stopped dead by a pair of grey metal bolts to the brain. The earthen island crumbles apart harmlessly just a moment before it would have leveled the cabin, without even so much as staining The Gentleman's suit. Looking down at his crossbow, The Gentleman notices that it has adopted an ocher color much like that of Flabort's sphere, and the bolts are now made of slightly resonating shards of stone and crystal.
(Gentleman luk: 4+2)
Not only has The Gentleman's crossbow changed, but he has a new piece of loot as well. It's a small table carved from average-looking wood, about the right size to serve as a nightstand. Inscribed into the top of it is a large red seal, consisting of all sorts of softly-glowing runes and pentacles.
Sneak towards the others, but don't attack. Just hide.
Nobody even so much as glances at you as you creep towards where all of the action is happening and hide in a small cave in the emerald mass.
..."Well. You are getting annoying. I believe it's time to get rid of you."
"Hullo? Anyloot here?"
Greencovery operation commences. Fuck with my loot and I will kill everyone spawning in until I get another Lootcyclopedia. If you fuck with my loot, I hope you enjoy spawning and going back to the wait list. Also, if my loot lives through this turn I may start taking requests to find out what your loot does.
Eh, thanks, this is what I call... A Punchline!
Punch Derm
Tapdance.
COME ON AND SLAM, IF YOU WANT TO JAM.
(Derm spd: 4+2+2)
(Beirus aff: 1+6)
(Roach spd: 5+6)
(NAV spd: 5+6)
(Barkley spd: 6+4)
(Smartmouth spd: 2+4)
(Roach dex: 1-3)
(Derm spd: 2+2+2)
(Barkley dex: 6+2)
(Derm spd: 3+2+2)
(Derm end: 2-6)
(Beirus aff: 4+6+10)
(Roach end: 3+6)
(Barkley str: 4+3)
(Smartmouth str: 2+4)
(Barkley end: 2+3)
Seeing his chance to strike a crippling blow to the tank team, The Roach launches a series of almost supersonic jabs at Derm. Unfortunately, focusing on speed over accuracy only gets him so far, and his barrage misses Derm entirely. However, just as the man of metal is about to retaliate, a booming warcry echoes off of the emerald walls.
"COME ON AND SLAM! IF YOU WANT TO JAM!"
Derm's distraction is only momentary, but one moment is all that it takes for Barkley's chaos dunk to SLAM into him, reducing his finely-mustachioed head into a splatter of thick red JAM. Roughly a second later, Barkley finds himself teleported directly to the point of impact, face to face with an incredulous Roach, and Beirus, who is none too happy about his tank and teammate going up in smoke. Raising his scepter into the air, Beirus conjures up a pair of emerald shells around Barkley and The Roach, crushing the latter to death instantly, while carefully molding Barkley's prison into an aerodynamic shape to toss to Smartmouth. Just as he's adding the last few fins however, he's interrupted by a tap on the shoulder.
"It's a crying shame about that tank, isn't it Boss? Eight endurance and six attacks a turn gone, just like that. But hey, if we kill the guy who killed Derm, we're bound to get something even better, right? 'Sides, we've still got the scepter and the hat for all the offense and defense we need. Plus whatever you picked up while I was out with Fernandez here... Speaking of which..."
Smartmouth brings her blade crashing down on Barkley's emerald prison, shattering it to bits and hacking off Barkley's left arm, which is quickly chewed to shreds by the blade, which makes a low growling sound, obviously displeased that its target is still alive.
(Barkley luk: -3-6-6)
As Barkley minus an arm springs to his feet, a bizarre pile of what looks like burnt metal scaffolding appears beside him. The whole thing has a vaguely humanoid shape, and there's a thin wall of scorched plexiglass over part of the 'torso', looking like some sort of improvised cockpit.
(Beirus luk: 5+6)
As Smartmouth takes a step back from the half-melted mecha, a large tuning fork appears beside Beirus, roughly the size of a claymore. Both tines of the fork have been sharpened to razor edges, and even an experimental swing through the air causes them to ring out, making a noise which could drive lesser men mad.
DERM, THE ROACH, AND FLABORT ARE DEAD! JENNA SPAWNS AS RED, BIFF BAM BOOM SPAWNS AS WHITE, AND MR. TOUGH SPAWNS AS YELLOW! ((+6 end intensifies))
(Jenna luk: 5+6)
Jenna's waiver becomes a pair of oversized gauntlets made from some sort of reddish glass. Despite this fact, they look to be quite durable, and could probably function either as shields or sledgehammers depending on the situation.
(Biff luk: -3-6)
Biff's waiver transforms into an enormous mallet carved from some obscenely heavy black stone. Even with his muscles, Biff can barely lift it off of the ground, but he doesn't think that it'll take much more than a gentle tap to break every bone in some poor sod's body.
(Tough luk: 1+1)
Mr. Tough's waiver molds itself into an ugly green wool sweater with three arm holes, like something that an alien grandmother would knit. Other than the third arm, there's nothing at all special about it.
(http://i.imgur.com/sRiaf3M.png)
Jenna (Red): Red Glass Gauntlets
Beirus II (Blue): Maaaagic cape, fancy pith helmet, Smartmouth, crabclaw scepter, hungry scimitar, some perfume, I̶̫̲̭̣, tuning fork blades
Toboggan (Orange): Rainbow Trenchcoat
Biff Bam Boom (White): HEAVY hammer
Charles Barkley (Brown): Silver B-ball, damaged mecha
Te Gentleman (Purple): Earthen bow, devil's table
Red (Pink): Golden hand cannon
Mr. Tough (Yellow): Ugly sweater
Put on gauntlets, try to use magic! Then use them as shields as I run over to purple and punch his face!
Stuff
(Jaenna spd: 4+1)
(Gentleman spd: 2)
(Jaenna dex: 5-6)
(Gentleman spd: 4)
(Gentleman dex: 3+2)
(Jaenna spd: 3+1)
(Jaenna end: 1+6)
(Gentleman end: 4+1)
Realizing that two heads are far better than one when everyone's trying to kill you, The Gentleman asks Jaenna for an alliance. Sadly, Jeanna either doesn't hear him or doesn't care, and charges towards him, crystal fists raised for an overhead smash. Letting out a short sigh, The Gentleman easily sidesteps the obvious attack before countering with a bolt from his crossbow. While his aim's not bad, Jaenna's fists are large enough to protect almost every inch of her body, and the bolt shatters harmlessly against the wall of crimson glass. Jaenna's gauntlets then begin to rumble slightly, before launching a wave of red shards at The Gentleman, forcing him back several feet but failing to cause any lasting damage.
"Huh. Well, ain't that a bitch."
C'est la green.
hide and peak at the fight waiting for the right time to make a difference
SMASH
PM sent.
PM sent.
What he said.
PARTY PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE LET'S GO
(Beirus aff: 5+6)
(Smartmouth spd: 5+4)
(Tough spd: 3-6)
(Biff spd: 6+1)
(Red spd: 6)
(Toboggan spd: 6+6)
(Barkley spd: 4+4)
(Beirus aff: 2+6+10)
(Toboggan str: IMMUNE)
(Tough end: 2+6)
(Biff end: 2+6)
(Red end: 6)
(Smartmouth dex: 4+4)
(Barkley spd: 1+4)
(Toboggan spd: 5+6)
(Smartmouth str: 6+4)
(Barkley end: 1+3)
Thinking quickly, Toboggan switches the dial on his robe to magic and throws himself over Barkley as the air begins to shimmer in preparation for another of Beirus' emerald blasts. As everyone on the western side of the emerald wall is skewered by pillars of green crystal, none of the gems even come close to touching Toboggan and Barkley. However, the two of them are far from safe as Smartmouth brings her sword back, clearly aiming to hack through the both of them in one swing. Figuring that man-eating swords don't quite fit the type of 'magic' that his robe resists, Toboggan scrambles out of the way, but Barkley is caught right in the blade's maw and shaken around like a ragdoll before vanishing from existence, seemingly swallowed whole by the weapon.
(Beirus luk: 3+6+3+5+6+7)
Suddenly the ground by Beirus' feet begins to rumble as an enormous stele bursts forth from it. It seems to be carved from something white and fleshy, and it rises at an unbelievable rate, ascending constantly even after the top of it is well out of sight. As it continues to rise, tendrils of white flesh emerge from the tower and wrap themselves around some of the nearby emeralds, breaking away from the stele as it rises ever higher, threatening to scrape the sky itself before suddenly stopping and reversing direction, travelling slowly downwards and dragging the island along with it!
MR. TOUGH, BIFF BAM BOOM, RED, AND CHARLES BARKLEY ARE DEAD! BELKIN, HAKKAR, STICKMAN, BILLY SNOW, AUSTIN, AND JENKINS 2A SPAWN!
(Belkin luk: 6+2)
Belkin's waiver transforms into a knightly-looking lance made of gilded steel. The very tip of it looks to have been sawed off and replaced with a shotgun barrel, with a bayonet attached so that it can still serve its original purpose.
(Hakkar luk: 5+5)
Hakkar's waiver becomes a necklace made of unevenly-shaped pearls, each one with its own symbol inlaid into it with gold. There's a fire, a musical note, an eye, a sword, a shield, a helmet, a rifle, a person, a chair, and a pawprint, and each symbol juts out from its pearl slightly, looking like a button that can be pressed down.
(Stickman luk: 3+2)
Stickman's waiver becomes a bulky rifle made entirely out of slightly-rusted steel. Despite its size, it's actually rather light, and a faint breeze can be felt blowing from the barrel.
(Billy luk: 6+6)
Billy's waiver becomes a tall staff carved from ebony, with a mummified talon at the top of it clutching a cloudy red gem. It has a real 'dark wizard' vibe coming from it, and as Billy grabs it, he feels an incredible surge of magic power take hold of him.
(Austin luk: 1+1)
Austin's waiver becomes a warm-looking coyote-skin hat, which looks like it only stopped being an actual coyote very recently.
(Jenkins luk: 4)
Jenkins' waiver becomes... something odd. It looks like a kite shield, but attached to the end of a six foot long wooden pole. The edges of the shield portion of it have been sharpened to a fine edge, and it looks sturdy enough both to be swing around like an axe and used to block like a shield.
As the last of the new looters spawn, what's left of the island shudders as it stops descending. It now rests on the ground, amidst the ruins of something that might have been a city once, before it was overtaken by the same white substance that Beirus' tower is made of. From a quick glance around, it looks like most of the larger buildings are to the north of the island, while the area to the east is filled with things that might have been homes before the corruption set in. There's a small lake to the south, surrounded by a tangled jungle of distorted white trees, and the western area is taken up entirely by an enormous palace which has begun to collapse under the weight of the corruption that has grown up its sides. Strange and primal noises echo from all around, and a horrifying roar from the eastern houses serves as a definite warning that this place is VERY unsafe.
Jaenna:
Loot: Red glass gauntlets
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Toboggan:
Loot: Rainbow trenchcoat
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Beirus:
Loot: Maaaagic cape, fancy pith helmet, Smartmouth, crabclaw scepter, hungry scimitar, some perfume, tuning fork blades, THE TOWER
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
The Gentleman:
Loot: Earthen bow, devil's table
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Belkin:
Loot: Gilded gunlance
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Hakkar:
Loot: Pearl necklace
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Stickman:
Loot: Windy rifle
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Billy Snow:
Loot: Bagduy staff
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Austin:
Loot: Warm hat
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Jenkins 2a:
Loot: Shield on a stick
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Fallen Island:
The island that the first portion of the game took place on, which has since fallen to rest in the center of a ruined and corrupted city. Most of the features that were present on it have been consumed by corruption, but there are still a few patches of jagged emeralds on it in some areas. In the center of the island is an enormous white stele, which seems to be the source of the corruption which has overtaken the nearby areas. This area serves as the spawn point for new players, but is also incredibly dangerous, both due to spawncampers and the local wildlife.
Name: Kamina
Description:
(http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121220155814/gurennlagann/images/1/17/Kamina_with_sword.jpg)
Stats:
Strength: -1
Endurance: -1
Dexterity: -1
Speed: -1
Affinity: -1
Luck: +5
I have a gun so the obvious thing is:
Head to a high place where I can better overview the area
Looking for a vantage point, you head into the northern part of the city, where strands of white flesh hang off of skyscrapers like jungle vines from a canopy. Most of the buildings here are too damaged and overgrown to enter, but the door to one old building which may have been a hotel in better days is open and obscured. Peering through the doorway, you see that the lobby is still fairly uncorrupted, with a large spiral staircase in the center of it, which you reckon leads up to the balconied bedrooms that you saw outside. Just as you're about to ascend the stairs and claim your new sniping post though, the railing gives a shudder and slowly unwinds itself from the stairs, groping blindly about the room, while whatever it's attached to upstairs begins to move around noisily, a single clawed foot looking like something that might have come from a bathtub appearing at the top of the stairs.
Oh....oh my. This wasn't in the PowerPoint!
Head East
You head east into the old residential district, which looks like it might have been a nice sprawl of suburbs once. Now however, it's more like a maze, with some of the houses flattened and some of the alleyways overgrown to create a series of surreal walls and gaps that seem all too easy to get lost in. As you try and determine how to best move about this alien labyrinth, you are interrupted by a loud low groan as something resembling a lumpy and misshapen humanoid pulls itself over the house at the end of the street, a singular eye on its chest focusing on you as its face splits open, revealing a gaping maw with five sawblade-shaped teeth.
Put on hat, dodge any incoming attacks, and run towards the crumbling palace.
"Anyone not shooting at me is welcome to join me!"
Head towards the crumbling palace as-well only fire upon something that go's to attack me first.
(PM sent to some people please check your inboxs :) )
The two of you head west towards the crumbling palace, which seems to be growing more and more corrupted by the second. By the time you arrive at the main entrance, the entire thing is covered with white flesh apart from a single tower, which looks like it only has a few seconds before it too becomes altered beyond recognition. As you're wondering exactly how the thing even managed to last this long, a burst of black lightning erupts from the tower, carving great smoking chunks of corruption off of the building and vaporizing them before they reach the ground. Looks like that answers that question...
Launch a barrage of bolts at anything and everything that could be a threat. And Jaenna.
Head towards the palace, keeping my gauntlets in a defensive position.
(Gentleman spd: 2)
(Jaenna spd: 5+1)
(Gentleman dex: 1+2)
(Manhole Beast spd: 1)
(Manhole Beast end: 2+2)
By the time that The Gentleman has steadied himself enough to fire another shot, Jaenna has already darted around a street corner to meet up with Belkin and Austin by the palace. Letting out a short sigh, he lowers his crossbow ever so slightly and scans the area, looking around for anything that might try to kill and/or eat him. Everything seems oddly serene at first, until he hears a metallic scraping noise a short distance away and spots a large shovel-shaped hand emerging from a nearby manhole, with a single eye on its palm focused dead on him. Wasting no time, he fires a bolt straight towards the eyeball, but the thing blinks at the last second, deflecting the attack with an eyelid made of bone plates before diving back down the manhole and out of sight.
Will bodyguard for loot
You look around for some sort of digging implement, and find none. However, that monster that just darted back down the manhole looked kinda shovely, if that counts for anything.
"Oh gods... Where the heck I am now?!"
After screaming out his amusement and frustration, Hakkar has quickly calmed down as his rational personality sorted things out.
Click paw, person and eye, giving time for each to work. But if someone wants to kill me immediately - click shield, deflect attack, and use rifle.
Sadly, your button pressing does not do anything, although you do discover that only one button can be pushed down at once. Currently, the eye button is pushed down, as it is the last one that you pressed.
Pretty sure Beirus is the new Osbourne.
Figure out how my staff works.
"It appears the game has changed. I will allow most of you to leave this place. Should you choose to attack me, do not doubt that I will end you without a second thought. Have !!Fun!! exploring." [Insert foreboding laughter here]
I believe in going green.
(Billy spd: 4-1)
(Beirus aff: 5+6)
(Beirus aff: 6+6+10)
(Billy str: 2-6)
As Billy waves his staff around trying to discover its effects, a hand made out of solid emerald busts from the ground and wrenches it out of his hands, before sliding across the ground and handing it over to Beirus, who is now literally glowing due to the sheer amount of raw magic radiating off of him.
Jaenna:
Loot: Red glass gauntlets
Health: Fine
Location: Ruined Palace Gates
Toboggan:
Loot: Rainbow trenchcoat
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Beirus:
Loot: Maaaagic cape, fancy pith helmet, Smartmouth, crabclaw scepter, hungry scimitar, some perfume, tuning fork blades, THE TOWER
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
The Gentleman:
Loot: Earthen bow, devil's table
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Belkin:
Loot: Gilded gunlance
Health: Fine
Location: Ruined Palace Gates
Hakkar:
Loot: Pearl necklace
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Stickman:
Loot: Windy rifle
Health: Fine
Location: Jungle of Flesh
Billy Snow:
Loot: Bagduy staff
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Austin:
Loot: Warm hat
Health: Fine
Location: Ruined Palace Gates
Jenkins 2a:
Loot: Shield on a stick
Health: Fine
Location: Tanglemaze
Fallen Island:
The island that the first portion of the game took place on, which has since fallen to rest in the center of a ruined and corrupted city. Most of the features that were present on it have been consumed by corruption, but there are still a few patches of jagged emeralds on it in some areas. In the center of the island is an enormous white stele, which seems to be the source of the corruption which has overtaken the nearby areas. This area serves as the spawn point for new players, but is also incredibly dangerous, both due to spawncampers and the local wildlife.
Ruined Palace Gates:
To the west of the fallen island lies the ruins of a great palace, which has all-but collapsed from the weight of the corruption that has grown on it. From the gates in front of it, one can see that a few of the upper portions are miraculously unaltered, but at the rate that the corruption is spreading, one can only wonder how much longer these towers will last.
Tanglemaze:
A short distance to the east of the fallen island lies the tanglemaze, a twisting mess of corrupted houses that now look and act more like a labyrinth than a housing development. As its name would suggest, it's very easy to get lost in, but most of the monsters inhabiting it have no trouble navigating it, being tall or agile enough to climb over the walls instead of going around them. Because of these dangers, looters travelling through the tanglemaze are advised to keep one eye on the walls above them and the other on the road behind them.
Jungle of Flesh:
Looking like it may have once been a business district of some sort, the jungle of flesh is an area of corrupted hotels and skyscrapers, located to the north of the fallen island. The corruption has hit this area of the city worse than others, and many of the buildings have been almost completely grown over, without so much as a window visible through the thick layers of white flesh, which have begun to form a sort of canopy over the streets. Some of the buildings near the edges of the area are still accessible, however, they are frequently used as roosts by the many types of monsters that make the jungle of flesh their home.
Name: Charles Barkley
Looks: COME ON AND SLAM, IF YOU WANT TO JAM.
Stats:
Strength: +++
Endurance: +++
Dexterity: ++
Speed: ++++
Affinity: ------
Luck: ------
((I do believe there should have been a death this turn.))
Edit: ((Well, there should have been. I'll fix that next turn.))
"Hm...I think this power suits me. Thanks for the staff. I think I'll let you leave instead of entombing you in emeralds and just keeping you alive so the staff doesn't disappear."
Fixing previous misunderstandings by going green.
Continue previous action
(Beirus aff: 2+6+6)
(Smartmouth spd: 3+8)
(Gentleman spd: 6)
(Manhole beast spd: 3)
(Beirus aff: 3+6+6+10)
(Smartmouth dex: 3+8)
(Gentleman spd: 3)
(Smartmouth str: 4+8)
(Gentleman end: 3+1)
(Manhole beast dex: 2+6)
(Smartmouth spd: 3+12)
Leaving Billy to do whatever it is he's going to do without loot, Beirus raises both of his staves into the air, carefully reaching out with tendrils of emerald to scan the area for unseen things. One of these tendrils seems to brush up against something invisible, and with a flick of his wrist Beirus causes it to expand, revealing some formerly invisible... thing... that had been standing there. The shape of the thing is nearly impossible to describe, but it's roughly the size of a small car, and as the emeralds start to form a thin crust around it, it lets out a sound like grating metal before shattering its emerald shell and being once more hidden from view.
Meanwhile, Smartmouth runs over to The Gentleman and brings her sword down with a surreal amount of strength, not only cleaving her target in two, but also creating a small fissure in the ground where he once stood. From this fissure comes a low rumbling sound, before the same shovel-shaped hand from before bursts forth from it, clearly none to happy about having its future meal stolen. Rumbling again, it lunges at Smartmouth, but she moves away almost too fast to be seen, ending up directly behind the monster with her sword held high, waiting for a cue from Beirus.
(Beirus luk: 4+6+1)
As a long metal tongue emerges from Smartmouth's sword and licks up the last of The Gentleman's blood, a weapon looking like a cat o' nine tails but with scorpion stingers instead of leather straps appears next to Beirus. The stingers move around almost as if they were part of a living creature, and a bright yellow venom flows from the tips, burning away at some of the corruption on the ground.
Well, walk into the castle. Keep gauntlets ready to deflect an attack should one come.
I bet it is some kind of magic keeping the top clear, it could be useful! We should go get it!
follow Jeanna, keeping an eye out for some good stones to throw. ((I need something better than a hat, dammit!))
"let's be careful not to get blasted like that corruption was. Also, I get the feeling that if we took that magic the tower would come down fast, too fast."
I bet it is some kind of magic keeping the top clear, it could be useful! We should go get it!
"let's be careful not to get blasted like that corruption was. Also, I get the feeling that if we took that magic the tower would come down fast, too fast."
"Haha No reward without risk lets go have a look shall we?"
Follow the others and protect them from any monsters.
Gauntlets, gunlance, and hat at the ready, the three of you head through the castle gates and find yourselves in an enclosed courtyard, which is slightly less corrupted than the ground outside. Looking across the courtyard, you can see that the tower that the lightning came from earlier is attached to a large palace by the far wall. You also notice a building to your right, which looks like it might have once housed the castle guard before the corruption overtook it.
((This area is a !!DUNGEON!!, complete with its own shoddily drawn map at the end of the post. I've represented you all with dots that match your text colors, and areas that you haven't yet explored are covered in 'fog' (as in I used a black spraypaint tool over them). Expect most dungeon maps to be poorly drawn, because there are over 300 different dungeons in this game, and drawing that many maps in any degree of detail would take ages. But yay, !!DUNGEONS!!))
Overhead chop with my shield pole weapon thing
(Jenkins spd: 6-1)
(Anthropophage spd: 2+2)
(Jenkins dex: 5-4)
(Anthropophage spd: 1+2)
(Anthrophage dex: 4+6)
(Jenkins spd: 3-1)
(Anthropophage str: 1+4)
(Jenkins end: 5+6+2)
As the monster leaps down from the roof and charges at you, you rush to meet it, raising your shield-axe high for an overhead slash. However, the creature is fast, and it effortlessly dodges your attack before countering with a blow from one of its gigantic misshapen hands. Using your weapon as a shield, you manage to deflect the blow and force the monster back a few feet, although you can see the eye on its chest begin to redden with anger as it raises its fists for another blow.
Go perform a secret action.
Also, still bodyguarding for loot.
You throw yourself over Billy Snow, ready to turn the dial on your coat to whatever type of attack might be launched at him. However, no attack comes, and you're just left standing there giving him an awkward, "I'm-totally-not-naked-under-this-trenchcoat-or-anything" hug.
Shoot the upper end of the "Railing"
(Stickman spd: 2+6)
(Hotellion spd: 5)
(Stickman dex: 5+4)
(Hotellion spd: 3)
(Hotellion end: 2+4)
Thinking quickly, you fire your gun at the top of the stairs and are instantly rewarded with a loud shattering sound as whatever the railing was attached to is reduced to a heap of jagged porcelain shards. The railing itself goes limp instantly, and while it's still quite clearly made of metal, it looks flexible enough that you could use it as a rope if need be.
Wander around. Let's see if effects start after a while...
You wander around waiting for something to happen, but nothing does. Maybe there's something else that has to be done in order for your item to work...
THE GENTLEMAN IS DEAD! FLIMSY WIZARD SPAWNS!
(Flimsy luk: 1+5)
Flimsy's waiver transforms into a large topaz scepter in the shape of a human femur. Small arcs of lightning leap out of the end of it from time to time, and by holding it at a certain angle, Flimsy finds that he can use it to focus sunlight into a concentrated golden beam.
Jaenna:
Loot: Red glass gauntlets
Health: Fine
Location: Ruined Palace (DUNGEON)
Toboggan:
Loot: Rainbow trenchcoat
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Beirus:
Loot: Maaaagic cape, fancy pith helmet, Smartmouth, crabclaw scepter, hungry scimitar, some perfume, tuning fork blades, THE TOWER, Cat o' scorpion tails
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Flimsy Wizard:
Loot: Topaz bone staff
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Belkin:
Loot: Gilded gunlance
Health: Fine
Location: Ruined Palace (DUNGEON)
Hakkar:
Loot: Pearl necklace
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Stickman:
Loot: Windy rifle
Health: Fine
Location: Jungle of Flesh
Billy Snow:
Loot: Bagduy staff
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Austin:
Loot: Warm hat
Health: Fine
Location: Ruined Palace (DUNGEON)
Jenkins 2a:
Loot: Shield on a stick
Health: Fine
Location: Tanglemaze
Fallen Island:
The island that the first portion of the game took place on, which has since fallen to rest in the center of a ruined and corrupted city. Most of the features that were present on it have been consumed by corruption, but there are still a few patches of jagged emeralds on it in some areas. In the center of the island is an enormous white stele, which seems to be the source of the corruption which has overtaken the nearby areas. This area serves as the spawn point for new players, but is also incredibly dangerous, both due to spawncampers and the local wildlife.
Ruined Palace Gates:
To the west of the fallen island lies the ruins of a great palace, which has all-but collapsed from the weight of the corruption that has grown on it. From the gates in front of it, one can see that a few of the upper portions are miraculously unaltered, but at the rate that the corruption is spreading, one can only wonder how much longer these towers will last.
Tanglemaze:
A short distance to the east of the fallen island lies the tanglemaze, a twisting mess of corrupted houses that now look and act more like a labyrinth than a housing development. As its name would suggest, it's very easy to get lost in, but most of the monsters inhabiting it have no trouble navigating it, being tall or agile enough to climb over the walls instead of going around them. Because of these dangers, looters travelling through the tanglemaze are advised to keep one eye on the walls above them and the other on the road behind them.
Jungle of Flesh:
Looking like it may have once been a business district of some sort, the jungle of flesh is an area of corrupted hotels and skyscrapers, located to the north of the fallen island. The corruption has hit this area of the city worse than others, and many of the buildings have been almost completely grown over, without so much as a window visible through the thick layers of white flesh, which have begun to form a sort of canopy over the streets. Some of the buildings near the edges of the area are still accessible, however, they are frequently used as roosts by the many types of monsters that make the jungle of flesh their home.
RUINED PALACE:
Behind the gates of the ruined palace is a large walled-off courtyard, which has barely managed to resist the corruption that rages outside. To the left of the gates is a building that looks like it may have once housed the castle guard, but the most prominent feature of the area is the immense palace at the far end, which is at least a hundred feet high, with a large tower at the top of it that rises another hundred feet still. Looking at it, you remember the reason why you came here in the first place: It must be filled to the brim with goddamned loot!
(http://i.imgur.com/ydOQg0f.png)
Name: John Smith
Description: Nondescript.
Stats:
Strength: -2
Endurance: 0
Dexterity: +2
Speed: 0
Affinity: -3
Luck: +3
Walk into the guard room first, there must be something there, right? Besides, we don't want monsters cutting off our escape route.
Edit: And keep my gauntlets up, if that needs to be specified.
Gun at the ready assist in clearing the guard room.
"Best start there don't want anything coming up behind us in the palace."
SURPRISE ATTACK!
(Jaenna spd: 5+1)
(Belkin spd: 3+2)
(Gatekeeper dex: 5+4)
(Jaenna spd: 4+1)
(Gatekeeper str: 3+6)
(Jaenna end: 4+6)
(Gatekeeper end: 5+6)
As Jaenna steps into the guardroom, she barely has a second to react as some sort of huge knight clad in twisted white armor comes crashing across the room, swinging around a weapon that can only be described as an enormous brass key. With a mighty upswing, the knight knocks Jaenna clear out of the room, her gauntlets releasing a storm of jagged red shards as she lands on her feet and skids to a stop outside. These shards fly straight at the knight, embedding themselves into its armor like hundreds of tiny darts, but the layer of corruption on the armor suddenly grows a set of small mouths and literally eats away at the crystals, leaving the knight in just as good condition as it was originally.
Realize I forgot to look for throwing stones, look for throwing stones, and then follow others and throw rocks at monsters & berius's.
Seeing some sort of creepy knight attacking your teammates, you look around for rocks to throw at it. Unfortunately, it seems like the corruption has turned all of the rocks in the area into soft white lumps, which wriggle free from your hands when you try to pick them up.
Go upstairs, look around, especially for bits of the thing that still move
You head upstairs into a long hallway with many doors on both sides. About half of these doors are open, and by one of the closer doors is something that looks like half of a bathtub lying on its side in a pile of porcelain shards. Figuring that it must be the thing that you shot, you give it a poke with the barrel of your rifle, causing it to rock slightly and verifying that it is well and truly dead. Peering through a few of the open doors, you see that they all lead to nearly identical rooms, all strangely devoid of furniture, and with sliding glass doors out in the back leading to equally barren balconies that could serve as nice sniping posts, provided that something roaming around in the building doesn't get you while your back is turned.
Sprint as fast as I can to the new dungeon.
(Toboggan spd: 5+6)
(Smartmouth spd: 5+12)
(Toboggan str: 2-6)
(Smartmouth str: 1+12)
Figuring that Billy has enough protection with Beirus wanting his staff and all, Toboggan gives up on bodyguarding and sprints towards the ruined palace with his trenchcoat flapping in the wind. As he passes through the gates however, he notices something else flapping in the wind, and turns around just in time to see Smartmouth zooming towards the fallen island with the trenchcoat draped over her sword like a towel, using her free hand to flip off Beirus.
"Have you been there this whole time without saying anything? Just make sure you stick close to me so you don't get left behind." Beirus remarks to the invisible thing before turning his attention to Toboggan and Billy.
"Aww, he likes you. How adorable. At least he didn't flash you."
Prepare for dungeon circumvention.
(Beirus aff: 1+6+6+10)
Waving both of your staves around, you summon up a large emerald platform, complete with seats and a guardrail. You try to make some safety restraints for it as well, but as it turns out, emeralds aren't exactly the best material to make seatbelts out of. Your invisible companion doesn't seem to mind however, judging by the soft crunch that one of the seats makes as it presumably sits down. Just as you're adding the last bits of the guardrail to the structure, you're hit in the face by Toboggan's old trenchcoat as Smartmouth climbs onto the platform, middle finger extended and a look of disgust on her face.
"Hey, I'm all good with stealing loot from people, but next time, use your emeralds to scout and at least give me a heads up if they're gonna be NAKED after I steal it. Either that, or you loot me some brain-bleach so that I can unsee it all afterwards."
I have a feeling that this is a great item... I would never learn how to use properly. Or... Hm...
Shout "Activate" or something similar a few times. Then try to win by concentrating on desirable effect.
Despite your shouting and concentrating, the necklace refuses to activate. In fact, with everything that you've tried, you're starting to get the feeling that the effect that it provides is more passive than active. Maybe you should just wander around and do things and see what happens.
Keep doing that attack thing at the thing. Aim for the eye
(Jenkins spd: 1-1)
(Anthropophage spd: 1+2)
(Anthropophage dex: 4+6)
(Jenkins spd: 5-1)
(Anthropophage str: 6+4)
(Jenkins end: 3+6+2)
(Jenkins dex: 6-4)
(Anthropophage spd: 1+2-2)
(Jenkins str: 3+4)
(Anthropophage end: 2)
With a groan like the sound of rusty metal, the creature swings both of its fists like a sledgehammer, launching itself forwards with the force of the blow. It's far too fast for you to dodge, but your shield's sturdy enough that you don't need to, instead merely bracing yourself and using the leverage provided by the pole as well as the monster's momentum to send it crashing to the ground behind you. Then, as it struggles to get back onto its feet with its ungainly limbs, you use your shield as a pickaxe and bring it crashing down upon its single eye, splitting it open like a ripe melon. The beast gives one last shriek before the white flesh covering it seems to slither away, revealing a young man in a bloodstained blue tailcoat with a look of utter bewilderment upon his face.
"Who... No, not who, but what are you? I watched that monstrosity slaughter hunter after hunter while I was trapped in its belly, yet you slew it without so much as breaking a sweat. Surely you must be one of Sudenburg's great heroes, come to deliver our fair city from the corruption which has claimed it?"
Seriously? A 1?
Do stuff.
You find Beirus smack dab in the middle of the fallen island, on a floating platform made from gleaming emeralds. He's kinda hard to miss, really.
Actions!
LIGHTS! CAMERA! UNSPECIFIED ACTIONS!
No, seriously, you didn't specify what your actions were. But hey, nobody tried to murder you this turn, so it all worked out in the end. Sort of.
Jaenna:
Loot: Red glass gauntlets
Health: Fine
Location: Ruined Palace (DUNGEON)
Toboggan:
Loot: Rainbow trenchcoat
Health: Fine
Location: Ruined Palace (DUNGEON)
Beirus:
Loot: Maaaagic cape, fancy pith helmet, Smartmouth, crabclaw scepter, hungry scimitar, some perfume, tuning fork blades, THE TOWER, Cat o' scorpion tails
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Flimsy Wizard:
Loot: Topaz bone staff
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Belkin:
Loot: Gilded gunlance
Health: Fine
Location: Ruined Palace (DUNGEON)
Hakkar:
Loot: Pearl necklace
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Stickman:
Loot: Windy rifle
Health: Fine
Location: Jungle of Flesh
Billy Snow:
Loot: Bagduy staff
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Austin:
Loot: Warm hat
Health: Fine
Location: Ruined Palace (DUNGEON)
Jenkins 2a:
Loot: Shield on a stick
Health: Fine
Location: Tanglemaze
Fallen Island:
The island that the first portion of the game took place on, which has since fallen to rest in the center of a ruined and corrupted city. Most of the features that were present on it have been consumed by corruption, but there are still a few patches of jagged emeralds on it in some areas. In the center of the island is an enormous white stele, which seems to be the source of the corruption which has overtaken the nearby areas. This area serves as the spawn point for new players, but is also incredibly dangerous, both due to spawncampers and the local wildlife.
Ruined Palace Gates:
To the west of the fallen island lies the ruins of a great palace, which has all-but collapsed from the weight of the corruption that has grown on it. From the gates in front of it, one can see that a few of the upper portions are miraculously unaltered, but at the rate that the corruption is spreading, one can only wonder how much longer these towers will last.
Tanglemaze:
A short distance to the east of the fallen island lies the tanglemaze, a twisting mess of corrupted houses that now look and act more like a labyrinth than a housing development. As its name would suggest, it's very easy to get lost in, but most of the monsters inhabiting it have no trouble navigating it, being tall or agile enough to climb over the walls instead of going around them. Because of these dangers, looters travelling through the tanglemaze are advised to keep one eye on the walls above them and the other on the road behind them.
Jungle of Flesh:
Looking like it may have once been a business district of some sort, the jungle of flesh is an area of corrupted hotels and skyscrapers, located to the north of the fallen island. The corruption has hit this area of the city worse than others, and many of the buildings have been almost completely grown over, without so much as a window visible through the thick layers of white flesh, which have begun to form a sort of canopy over the streets. Some of the buildings near the edges of the area are still accessible, however, they are frequently used as roosts by the many types of monsters that make the jungle of flesh their home.
RUINED PALACE:
Behind the gates of the ruined palace is a large walled-off courtyard, which has barely managed to resist the corruption that rages outside. To the left of the gates is a building that looks like it may have once housed the castle guard, but the most prominent feature of the area is the immense palace at the far end, which is at least a hundred feet high, with a large tower at the top of it that rises another hundred feet still. Looking at it, you remember the reason why you came here in the first place: It must be filled to the brim with goddamned loot!
(http://i.imgur.com/TCApnum.png)
Im merely a...traveler from a distant place. What has happened to this place? And who might you be?
"I am Remont, sir, an acclaimed writer of guides and manuals. We currently stand in my home town of Arclight, which was renowned across the entire continent for the strange and mysterious treasures that it produced, as well as the floating island that once loomed above it. Now though, it has been taken over by this corruption, and the island that once floated above it now lies in the center of town. While I do not know the root of this evil, I was on my way to visit someone who may know more than I do before that beast that you just slew attacked me. Say... I know that as a traveler in a place like this, you're probably on some sort of urgent mission, but if it's not too out of your way do you think that you could escort me across this maze? I fear that I don't have much to reward you with at the moment, but I've written down a few notes on the 'local' monsters that might help us if we encounter them."
Go to a balcony and check whether or not I am on the highest floor of the building
You head through one of the open doors and out onto a balcony to look up, and find that you're actually only on the second floor out of five. This strikes you as a bit odd, since the stairs that you just climbed definitely end at this floor, but you don't have much time to think about it as something looking like a large eyeball with a pair of feathery wings and bird legs comes and perches on the railing, staring at you intently before hopping up to sit on your shoulder like a parrot. While it currently doesn't seem to be trying to eat you, brainwash you, spray you with acid, or otherwise cut short your wondrous looting experience, you never be too careful with this sort of thing.
KEEP LIVING. Action PMed.
Distract the knight! Block him, and try to knock his key out of his hands!
My combat skill is terrible, but I won't die!
Run around the knight, trying to get its attention while dodging its attacks. Maybe throw my hat at its face for distraction! ((I will find a use for that thing I swear!))
"Drop the keyblade you goddamn Sora wannabe!"
Fire at his knees.
"Shit look at the size of 'em"
Forgot to send you a PM.
Ah well, Actions!
(Gatekeeper spd: 1+4)
(Toboggan spd: 4+6)
(Jaenna spd: 5+1)
(Austin spd: 2+6)
(Belkin spd: 5+2)
(Billy spd: 5-1)
(Toboggan dex: 1-6)
(Jaenna dex: 4-6)
(Austin dex: 6+4)
(Gatekeeper spd: 2+4)
(Belkin dex: 3+2)
(Gatekeeper spd: 6)
(Gatekeeper dex: 6)
(Jaenna spd: NA) If I read your action right, you're intentionally blocking it.
(Gatekeeper str: 2+6)
(Jaenna end: 5+6)
(Gatekeeper end: 2+6)
(Billy dex: 2+1)
(Toboggan spd: 6+6)
Sprinting naked through the courtyard like a some sort of streaker, Toboggan leaps through the air and flies gracefully over Jaenna's head while making a few frantic grasps towards the gauntlets, before landing and rolling to a stop a short distance away. Austin meanwhile decides that he's going to find a use for his hat or die trying, and tosses it straight at the Gatekeeper's head. Miraculously, lands right on top of the eye-slit in the helmet and sticks there, buying time for Belkin to line up a shot with his gunlance, which still goes about a foot wide of its target thanks to the recoil. Then, in a blind rage, the Gatekeeper swings its blade at Jaenna, slamming against her gauntlets in a shower of red gems which immediately fly like bullets right into the knight's sword arm, taking it off at the shoulder. As the severed limb hits the ground, the corruption flows off of it like water, leaving behind a regular-size right gauntlet made from patterned steel, as well as the knight's key, which is still the same size as it was before. Taking advantage of the Gatekeeper's shock, Jaenna picks up this blade, keeping it safe for the moment, although her gauntlets are clumsy enough that she could drop it at any moment. Then Persus runs in, screaming something about how this map is only big enough for one lootless vagabond and throwing a mean left hook right past Toboggan's head.
Ops.
Finding my item utterly useless, I wander in the direction of the Dungeon. Perhaps, being closer to death might provide me with means of survival.
You walk into the courtyard, fidgeting with your necklace in an attempt to make it do something. Interestingly, you feel some sort of very small magical response from it as the Gatekeeper's arm gets blown off. It's nothing major, but maybe if it were to die while you're nearby...
((Your combat skills are negative...yay, loot for me.))
"How was I supposed to know? My emeralds couldn't get anywhere near the coat."
3.2.1. LIFT OFF!
(Beirus aff: 3+6+6+10)
As Smartmouth begrudgingly puts the coat on over her suit, you raise your staves again, forming an emerald roof over your platform to keep you safe from projectiles before making the entire structure rise into the air. While the handling on it's somewhat clunky, you feel like you shouldn't have any trouble keeping it aloft, and you're soon hovering above the castle courtyard, looking down at the battle below.
Aim staff at NAV, if he doesn't mind.
Aim staff at wall. Invoke.
Stop living.
Player: NAV
Name: Surieb
Looks: Completely red
Stats:
Strength: ------
Endurance: ------
Dexterity: -----
Speed: +++++
Affinity: ++++++
Luck: ++++++
Say, would you mind helping me out? I rolled a 1 on my loot roll, so I'm at a bit of a disadvantage.
(Flimsy aff: 5+6)
You point your staff at a nearby wall and let loose with a torrent of yellow light. A sizable cluster of yellow gems sprouts from where your blast hit, and you can see fat bolts of electricity arcing between the crystalline points, threatening to zap anybody who gets too close.
Jaenna:
Loot: Red glass gauntlets
Health: Fine
Location: Ruined Palace (DUNGEON)
Toboggan:
Loot: Rainbow trenchcoat
Health: Fine
Location: Ruined Palace (DUNGEON)
Beirus:
Loot: Maaaagic cape, fancy pith helmet, Smartmouth, crabclaw scepter, hungry scimitar, some perfume, tuning fork blades, THE TOWER, Cat o' scorpion tails
Health: Fine
Location: Floating above Ruined Palace
Flimsy Wizard:
Loot: Topaz bone staff
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Belkin:
Loot: Gilded gunlance
Health: Fine
Location: Ruined Palace (DUNGEON)
Hakkar:
Loot: Pearl necklace
Health: Fine
Location: Ruined Palace (DUNGEON)
Stickman:
Loot: Windy rifle, Birdie
Health: Fine
Location: Jungle of Flesh
Billy Snow:
Loot: Bagduy staff
Health: Fine
Location: Ruined Palace (DUNGEON)
Austin:
Loot: Warm hat
Health: Fine
Location: Ruined Palace (DUNGEON)
Jenkins 2a:
Loot: Shield on a stick, Remont
Health: Fine
Location: Tanglemaze
Fallen Island:
The island that the first portion of the game took place on, which has since fallen to rest in the center of a ruined and corrupted city. Most of the features that were present on it have been consumed by corruption, but there are still a few patches of jagged emeralds on it in some areas. In the center of the island is an enormous white stele, which seems to be the source of the corruption which has overtaken the nearby areas. This area serves as the spawn point for new players, but is also incredibly dangerous, both due to spawncampers and the local wildlife.
Ruined Palace Gates:
To the west of the fallen island lies the ruins of a great palace, which has all-but collapsed from the weight of the corruption that has grown on it. From the gates in front of it, one can see that a few of the upper portions are miraculously unaltered, but at the rate that the corruption is spreading, one can only wonder how much longer these towers will last.
Tanglemaze:
A short distance to the east of the fallen island lies the tanglemaze, a twisting mess of corrupted houses that now look and act more like a labyrinth than a housing development. As its name would suggest, it's very easy to get lost in, but most of the monsters inhabiting it have no trouble navigating it, being tall or agile enough to climb over the walls instead of going around them. Because of these dangers, looters travelling through the tanglemaze are advised to keep one eye on the walls above them and the other on the road behind them.
Jungle of Flesh:
Looking like it may have once been a business district of some sort, the jungle of flesh is an area of corrupted hotels and skyscrapers, located to the north of the fallen island. The corruption has hit this area of the city worse than others, and many of the buildings have been almost completely grown over, without so much as a window visible through the thick layers of white flesh, which have begun to form a sort of canopy over the streets. Some of the buildings near the edges of the area are still accessible, however, they are frequently used as roosts by the many types of monsters that make the jungle of flesh their home.
RUINED PALACE:
Behind the gates of the ruined palace is a large walled-off courtyard, which has barely managed to resist the corruption that rages outside. To the left of the gates is a building that looks like it may have once housed the castle guard, but the most prominent feature of the area is the immense palace at the far end, which is at least a hundred feet high, with a large tower at the top of it that rises another hundred feet still. Looking at it, you remember the reason why you came here in the first place: It must be filled to the brim with goddamned loot!
(http://i.imgur.com/HR9rFQk.png)
Red - Jaenna
Orange - Belkin
Blue - Austin
Purple - Hakkar
Pink - Toboggan
Brown - Billy Snowe