Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Messages - Ozarck

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 636
1
Roll To Dodge / Re: Office Workers' day off
« on: October 11, 2023, 07:46:57 am »
Look around and try to figure out where I am and what this place is.
(5) You look around. Your bed has barricades on the sides. There is an IV in your arm, which leads up to a saline bag. There's a monitor machine of some kind on the other side of the bed. You turn a little further and something pulls against your face. You reach up and prod it. It's hard plastic, with some kind of tube attached. An oxygen mask. A nurse, presumably alerted by some kind of alarm from the monitoring machine, comes in and bustles about, taking your blood pressure and other vitals. She greets you and tells you a doctor will be coming to check you over before long. And, after a half hour or so, one shows up, checks your chart, does a blood pressure thing, and has you breathe into a little doohicky to check your lung capacity. Hey, maybe this guy can get you a note for your day off.

DO NOT THROW UP
THE HOT DOG NEEDS TO STAY INSIDE ME

(3) you burp a lot, and scare off a potential customer You drink some kind of carbonated beverage, and the stomach rumbling shifts downward somewhat. You are probably not going to vomit, but you start giving the pier the side eye, looking about for an easily accessed bathroom in case of an emergency. You're still pretty sure there will be an emergency before long. Hopefully not at lunch rush, which looks to be starting in a round or two.

Ah. Present my badge, I work here afterall. If asked on what I am doing outside, claim Moped Troubles. For now ill have to go back inside to get back out...
(5) you present your badge and he waves you in with a grunt before you have a chance to explain anything. He doesn't even write down an attendance note or anything. You hurry along down the hallway until it opens up onto a large subterranean complex, full of villainous shipping and receiving activities, industrial doomsday forklifts, racks upon racks of evil science assemblage components, two break rooms on opposite sides of the cavern, and bats. You hear the beeping of an evil forklift backing up somewhere in the villainous product processing department nearby.

Well, when all you have is a missile, every problem looks like Abdul Khaliq another opportunity to avoid collateral.


Spoiler: Droney McDroneface (click to show/hide)
Yes, I think I understand. Well enough to roll for it, anyway. (5) You fire at an office suite two floors up and several meters to the side. You open a hole about three meters wide in the wall, blowing out windows in concentric circles around the detonation point. Several panes of the windows in your own department shatter. You wait for the debris to clear, ignore the screams from above and below, and crash your way through what's left of one window into your department. The department lead glances up at you, out at the window, and down at his watch. He frowns momentarily, then gets back to whatever documentation he was doing on his computer station. You note with mechanical satisfaction that the sprinklers on this floor didn't even go off. Whether that is because the damage was properly contained, or because the sprinklers were not properly maintained is, as are so many things, someone else's problem. You drift over to your workstation and boot up the console with a whir.

2
Roll To Dodge / Re: Office Workers' day off
« on: October 07, 2023, 09:11:07 am »
I'm in a suspiciously positive mood today, so I am taking suggestions for my next game. No promises, but I thought I'd hear your opinions anyway.

Keep crawling, gotta get out!
(1) You get turned around in the smoke and end up falling halfway down the basement stairs again. Ironically, you're pretty certain that you've created a pretty effective doomsday device. You just didn't expect it to be your doomsday. Well, let's see how this all plays out: (2) You collapse on the stairs, vision fading. (4) When next your eyes open, you are in an unfamiliar place. You are still disoriented and have a massive headache. your whole body feels weak, and like there's a low wattage electric current running up and down your limbs. It takes you several minutes to open your eyes and realize you are in a bed, rather than sprawled across a flight of stairs.

Flee!
(6) you run. The hoot wolves eventually snarl three quick toots and start after you, their hooting gradually closing in on you. You flee through the dense jungley forest space across from the beach and along another chain link fence. You run, large, wet leaves slapping your face and hands. Finally, you stumble into a small clearing surrounding a single steel door set into the cliff face. A single large light shines from above the door. It's one of those industrial lights that has a sort of cage over the face of it for some reason. You run to the door and fumble for a keycard, which you press against the access panel. The door swings outward and you rush in, pulling the heavy door closed in the face of the honking monsters behind you.

...

"badge, please."

Good, gooooood, very efficient.

Float over to my workspace (it's an open floor plan after all so I'm sure there will be space) and check my email. 


Spoiler: Droney McDroneface (click to show/hide)
(2) While the office is indeed an open plan, the windows are not. Fresh air is for winners. And city air is for potentially useful organ bags. And your department hires neither. You consider the futility of bouncing against the windows one more time. Inefficient. You consider a more straightforward approach.

Buy teh hotdogs!
(6) You buy the hotdog stand. You eat your first day's profits. Literally. You (3) no not immediately throw up, though your eyes do cross and defocus. The previous frankfurteer takes that as their cue to fuck off, which they do with alacrity.

3
Roll To Dodge / Re: Office Workers' day off
« on: October 03, 2023, 02:13:03 am »
Aw geez. What a mess! How will I ever file this away properly?

You know what, just put it under 'pending' for now, we have an office to get to!



Spoiler: Droney McDroneface (click to show/hide)
(5) you file this under pending and soon find yourself bouncing idly against a window outside the office, the sounds of gunfire, sirens and flames long distant. a coworker glances your way, then quickly and efficiently returns their attention to their own workstation.

Im not restrained, though I am being mauled. Well...lets see if I took anything on the way from Evilcorp to a walk...rummage through my backpack to see if I have some weapon or mind control ray or something to destroy these wolves.
(4) Scrabbling back, you pull your backpack off your back and unzip. There! wedged down against the side! You toss aside a pair of jeans, a small camp stove, and a magazine, and pull out an air horn. You honk it, and all the hootwolves jump away, scattering in a rough semicircle just out of reach of the grasping tentacle, facing you and hooting. You scrabble back even further, pointing the horn at each of the hooters in turn and getting out of range of the tentacles.

It's all gone wrong! Quickly crawl out of the basement before I die.
(3) you crawl up the basement steps and collapse in your kitchen as noxious fumes boil up into the house, setting off the carbon monoxide alarms. You slowly drag yourself toward the outside door and what passes for fresh air in the city.

Keep running
(4) you run. You run out of the BiggO, across the parking lot, down the street and across, dodging traffic. You run past a police cordon and a burning car. You run down to the dock district and spy the skull shaped island off in the bay. You run past a rat eating a seal. Several seagulls are cawing at the rat in hopes of joining in on the meal. you run past a hotdog vendor. THe smell hits some part of your brain like a truck and you feel both intensely hungry and nauseous. A hotdog vendor next to teh docks.  guess people will get used to anything, eh?

4
Roll To Dodge / Re: Office Workers' day off
« on: September 29, 2023, 07:54:57 am »
Try to use a sharp rock or something to crush, pulverize or cut the tentacle before booking it. Shouldent have said the thing, you never are supposed to say the thing.
(2) You grasp around for something to hit the tentacle with, and end up just using your fists. You're about waist deep in water now (I mean, you are sitting so the water is really about a foot deep or so), and still bound and dragged. Let's see if that hootwolf is ... less friendly to you or the rubbery water spider (6) Well, it's hard to say of the hootwolf, and his pack are more more hostile to you or the sealife as all three of them come barrelling into the surf clamboring over you, jostling and clawing and biting. Good news is, you are currently not being dragged under. Bad news is, everything else.

CURSE REALITY FOR IMPOSING THESE FOOLISH EXPECTATIONS ON MY BODY
DRINK MORE COFFEE TO REMOVE EXHAUSTION

(5) You drink way too much (again) and are now the epitome of hyperactive. Your hands shake. Your feet are vibrating. Your teeth hurt. You can hear your own blinkiing. Your ears itch. THe lights in this BiggO are too bright. You are nauseous. You feel like you could run a marathon. You realize you are running already.

Wear the gasmask I have for just this kind of situation!
(3) You grab your gas mask and put it on. Your lungs fill with noxious fumes before you realize the mask doesn't have a filter. gagging, you fumble a filter into place, and try to remember the procedure for flushing the gasses from inside the mask. after a couple minutes of painful coughing, you manage to exhaust enough of the fumes to breathe without dying, more or less. You can't see two feet in this cloud though and these filters don't last for that long.

Head out, towards ever more efficiency!

If I spot any ragamuffins, scallywags or other ne’er-do-wells, try to resist the urge of drone striking them. Or at most just a teensy bit of droning. Just a little. Just the tip of the missile.



Spoiler: Droney McDroneface (click to show/hide)
(1) You spot some Local Youths as you commit your patrol, and completely fail to resist the urge to [WAR CRIMES HERE]. Several minutes later, the street is cordoned off, the formerly luxury car is a boiling cloud of black smoke and an artistic spray of broken glass, bent metal, and burnt rubber, and, one way or another, the Local Youths are no longer to be seen. You ponder what classification to file this task under: efficiency improvement, high value target neutralization, public relations incident, [REDACTED], or other.

I’ll misfile reports, order unnecessary doomsday devices, and even get my own supervillain kit!  Chaos Ho!
(6) you misfile reports all morning. You misfile reports so hard you find yourself deep in the mail room, or the office records room, or ... where the heck is this anyway? You don't recognize these hallways, those cubicles, that particular open floor plan, the ring of those phones, or those employees. Wait are those even employees?? Maybe subdued experimental subjects? SOemthing else? You try not to get caught looking at them. eye contact is so awkward.


5
Roll To Dodge / Re: Office Workers' day off
« on: September 26, 2023, 02:40:58 am »
THe period and comma keys on my keyboard aren't working properly, so if i miss one here and there, please overlook it.

DRINK
(2) You drink 3 cups of coffee. Then the URGE hits you. You clutch at the back of your pants and shuffle toward the nearest toilet as fast and you can without jostling your bowels. You spend the next fifteen minutes evacuating all the coffee you have eaten and drunk so far today, along with whatever else was in your digestive tract a t the time. Certainly not the nice, healthy and filling breakfast momma made for you this morning. Nope, just whatever you had had for a midnight snack before collapsing into bed last night. Whatever it was, it is foul now. It takes you several more minutes to properly tidy up and stagger out of the stall, walking a tad more stiffly than before. And now you feel exhausted.

Excellent!

Say goodbye to Cuddles the cat, make sure the windows are open before departure (the landlord gets awfully prissy when we forget), then takeoff!

Spoiler: Droney McDroneface (click to show/hide)
(4) You beep seven times at Cuddles. Cuddles beeps seven times at you. You check CUddles' nutrient dispensory and waste repository: full, and empty, respectively. You open the window to leave and shut it behind you - don't want Cuddles going rogue, after all. And away you go into the thick of the urban noise and bustle of midmorning city life.

Ah...take a nice rest on the beach, surley nothing bad will happen to me now...
Oh no, you said the thing. He said the thing, guys. You said the thing. You sit on the beach. A tentacle lurches up from beneath the sand spraying you with the course, rough material, before wrapping around your legs and pulling, drawing you toward the depths. You claw against the wet sand for purchase, a weapon, anything, and hear from behind the distinct snarl of a hootwolf. It sounds like someone sneezing into a trombone. You look over your shoulder as sand continues being ground into your pants and see three of the ugly beasts at the dry edge of the beach.

Use my secret basement stuff to bring the dog statue to life!
(1) Had you rolled a 3 you would have gotten something similar to the Singing Bass Fish Trophy. Instead, you get a rolling cloud of noxious fumes choking you and obscuring your vision. Maybe those two chemicals weren't supposed to go together like that. Or maybe they were but not for the life-giving operation. Now's not the time to ponder now's the time to try not to choke to death!

6
Roll To Dodge / Re: Office Workers' day off
« on: September 23, 2023, 11:24:38 pm »
Not gonna lie, six players is more than I expected this game to attract.

This works, ride out and across the island! Once I feel safe, stop my moped and take a walk!
(4) You ride away from the residential block, past the ferry and New Personnel Induction Center, and down to the Hazardous Wildlife Reserve. You head down to the beach and park your moped. You feel safe here as the hazardous wildlife in this area are mostly aquatic - sharks, octopi, alligators, and the like - and the beach is pretty nice at this time of day. The Skull doesn't block the sun until evening, so you enjoy a nice casual walk in the sand. The ominous splashing of the waves on the beach, the distant sound of city traffic across the bay, and hte chittering, growling ,and hooting of the dangerous wildlife a bit further inland all blur into a welcome white noise washing away the worry and stress like nothing else can.

Quickly now that I have the dog statue I must scream my way back to my house and into my basement!
(4) Voice is getting hoarse, and you've got the dog. You take it into the basement and plunk it down on your workbench, grumbling smugly to yourself. You know you are probably getting arrested for this right? Or worse - written up at work. Well, if you scream enough you might get a medical exemption for really screwing up your voicebox. ... or maybe a shady doctor could write you an excuse anyway.

Who dis?: Droney McDroneface
After the global war on terror wound down, the little Reaper drone that could found itself obsolete and summarily discharged. However, with the same vigor he would hunt for high value targets in the desert of Afghanistan, he soon found himself chasing down and eliminating office inefficiencies! 
Who you work for?: BlackstoneRock. BlackRock. Yes.
Where dat?: The heart of corporate scum and villainy. Downtown.
Why you no here? Oh no, faulty connectors led to a delayed recharging cycle! Damn you Tesla charge station!


Quick, initiate pre-flight check!
Ah, and here is our first truly non-standard employee. And yet, somehow, the first one that seems to take it's job seriously. Strange indeed. (5)Pre-Flight checklist goes smoothly. All systems are in standard working order. Your program executes a function to schedule a "Requisition" for replacement connectors. It would be inefficient to go through 'proper' channels, as past experience demonstrates that management tends to delay replacement, overlook preventative maintenance and deprioritize repair for ... unknown reasons. No matter - their reasons are irrelevant, as they create inefficiency. Anyway, you are flight-ready and fully loaded!

Who dis? : Enam to revetahw
Who you work for? : Evil Inc.  Your standard evil corporation bent on overtaking the world
Where dat?: Sewers
Why you no here?: sick of planned, orderly crime, want to randomly and chaotically cause havoc

I silently lay in bed and think of all I have to cause havoc with
(4) You are a cog in the machine at Evil Inc. When a cog breaks, chaos happens. You could go in to work and misfile reports, order unnecessary doomsday devices, or set off the emergency sprinklers, for instance. At home, well, you have standard stuff one might have on an office worker's salary. Plus a lot of special soap capable of removing sewage from clothing skin and surfaces. You have some savings set aside. Perhaps you could order a supervillain kit or something, to help with your start up business of independant villainy. You also have matches. Nothing says chaos quite like burning something down.

Does the breakroom have a coffee maker? use that to make coffee
(5) The breakroom has two coffee makers. One for regular and one for decaf. You put the coffee in both after giving each a bit of a cleaning to get rid of the standard nasty instant residue or whatever it is that is so common in breakroom coffee machines htat makes the coffee terrible. Well, the cleaning seems ot have worked as your coffee comes out strong, dark, and not awful.


7
Roll To Dodge / Re: Office Workers' day off
« on: September 21, 2023, 07:36:50 am »
Find if I have a car here, if I do use it to get out the fence. By ramming if there’s people watching the exit. I’m going to take a walk dammit!
(3) this isn't a very vehicle-friendly giant skull-shaped island, but you do have a moped parked down the street. You walk over to the building enter the side door, cross the lobby step out onto the sidewalk in front of the lobby, and start walking toward your moped. Today is a good day to drive a moped over a broken fence.

Continue my incoherent screaming while fighting the old man for possession of the gnome!
(5) you out-scream the older fella, and out-wrestle him for his lawn ornament. He falls backward onto his ass, looking a bt stunned, and you take the opportunity to storm off,, grumbling incessantly as you do, dog statue in your arms.

Start stuffing coffee into their mouths, I will make them see the holy light of caffeine
(1) you grab a fistful of grounds and stalk menacingly toward the trio, ,growling "eat this!" at them. This breaks the spell the coffee bag had on them, and they scramble up and away from the madman in their midst, rushing out of the break room as quickly as they can. One of them even mutters something about "work to do." You suspect he was being insincere.

8
Roll To Dodge / Re: Office Workers' day off
« on: September 20, 2023, 08:31:04 am »
Spotlight?! They’re looking for me?! Hide!
(4) You crawl out from under the fence wreckage and crawl under a nearby Jeep. The spotlight swivels around for a couple minutes then goes dark. The loudspeakers remain silent. A leaf blows by. You shiver a little from the mild cold weather.

Hide!
Also start chugging the coffee bag

(6) You quickly dart around a corner and down a short hallway. You can still see the entrance doors from here, so the manage might see you if he steps in, so you ease backward into a nearby room and close the door. You open your bag of coffee and stuff a fistful in your mouth which goes as well as you might expect. sputtering a bit you turn to look for a chari and are met by the lifeless gazes of three BiggO employees. They look at you wearily, until they notice the bag ...

Wake-up.
You want me to roll for waking up? After you called in sick already? Okay~~~
(6)You gaze at your dull grey ceiling for a minute before turning on your beige shaded lamp and throwing off your light tan blanket and swing your iron blue pajama'd legs over the side to put your feet into your regulation standard slippers.

And suddenly, it comes to you.

The true purpose of Manager Co.

It is not money. No, Stock Holdings ltd is about money, but Manager CO is not.

It is not about power. No, that is the domain of Media Messaging Consultancy and Aqcuisitions, Inc.

Manager Co is far more insidious far more soul-draining.
Manager Co is the front for an organization dedicated to the advancement of one of hte Great Old Ones: the Demon Enn- u'i. featurelessness, neutrality. Neither emotion nor passion nor reason nor energy. The Rote, the Routine, the Uniteresting. Manager Co. does not train quality business leadership it breeds living zombies - men and women devoid of initiative, power or desire. Husks and automatons in a world without color without hope, without direction. Because "here, now" is all there is and in the heare and now all there is is the routine. The ordinary. The bland. The Job.

You want to scream but you feel .... nothing, and you wonder if screaming would disturb the ... not the Tranquility for the re is no peace in the Dull. You wonder if screaming would disturb the Process.

While continuing to scream incoherently I shall steal all the neighbors garden gnomes.
(3) completely undisturbed by Eldritch thoughts about boredom and busy-ness, you run screaming into a yard and grab hold of the nearest lawn ornament. An Old man with a rake comes to chase you off, but, as you begin to lift the surprisingly heavy "Dog Looking Like It Is About TO Dig A Hole," He drops his rake and grabs the ornament as well. Now there are two men on the lawn yelling incoherently, and not a cloud in sight.

9
Roll To Dodge / Re: Office Workers' day off
« on: September 18, 2023, 07:06:18 am »
I'm gonna start forgetting character names soon. I wonder if I should be keeping track of that kind of thing?

Who dis? : Bob Bossman
Who you work for? : Manager-co
Where dat?: 3 1/4th foor
Why you no here? All my employees called in sick, and so did I.
Yes. Your action?

Dress up and buy some coffee
better not screw this roll as well

(6) #2514 puts on a fine sports coat and, tie, and belt, select's his brownest shoes, and drives over to the BiggOmart ,where he pick up a ten pound bag of coffee. Just as he pays for his purchase he spots a supervisor from work getting out of their car. Must be coming to the BiggOcafe attached to the BiggoMart.

Hop over fence, dont want boss to see me taking a walk.
(1) YourNameO grabs the chain link fence and begins hauling himself up. turns out the fence isn't properly installed and it buckles inward. YourName lands on his back and the fence lands on top of hm with a crash. several successive crashes suggest the rest of the fence has fallen as well. A spotlight blinks on at the cheekbone far overhead.

Go find clothing to put on then go scream incoherently at the neighbors.
I think Bob McGeneric might be channeling the soul of the GM a little.
Bob puts on a pair of sweatpants, a long sleeve t-shirt, some socks, and a pair of crocs and walks down the street screaming at the neighbors. A curtain is drawn closed, a front door is slammed a couple dogs start barking, and a couple children at a bus stop run crying into the nearest back yard. Some small piece of Bob's consciousness wonders about the side effects of those evil experiments, and wonders if he should be writi8ng this stuff down in the methodology section of his paper.

10
Roll To Dodge / Re: Office Workers' day off: Mornings are hard
« on: September 17, 2023, 04:38:03 am »
Curl up and cry
(2) I didn't know this action was possible to fail but you managed it somehow. #2514 Bends over at the waste and sneezes on their knees. Now you are decaffinated and covered in sneeze. ANd maybe a little flushed from bending over

Put on clothing and go into the basement so I can continue my evil experiments.
(2) Bob grabs a bath towel and goes into the bathroom where he sits on his toilet and stares at his hands for a while. He idly brushes a dust bunny off his knee.

Who dis? : Yourname O. Whatever
Who you work for? : Evil Corp
Where dat?: Nearby island with skull shaped mountain
Why you no here? Got Bored, also pretty sure the place is evil. Might be wrong

Go outside, take a walk
Using my own naming trick against me, eh? Well done, YournameO~ (3) You go outside and wander around in the empty lot next to your building. THe lot is bounded on one side by the building on two sides by tall chain link fencing and on the fourth by the base of the skull shaped mountain. An empty potato chip bag races you across the lot before getting caught up in a little dust devil and flying over the fence.

11
Roll To Dodge / Re: Office Workers' day off
« on: September 16, 2023, 06:03:54 am »
Who dis? : Generic White Collar Worker #2514
Who you work for? : Generic Corp.
Where dat?: 3rd floor
Why you no here?: that great coffee cup in the sky demanded that I must consume as much caffeine as possible!

Brew some coffee
(2) You are out of coffee! There's not even tea left in the house! Your "don't talk to me until I have my coffee" mug is in the sink!

PTW
No promises. I am notoriously bad at keeping these things going.

Who dis? : Bob McGeneric
Who you work for? : Super Security Place
Where dat?: In the place that needs security.
Why you no here? Job dangerous, don't want to do it.

Hide under a desk and hope no one notices I'm under it.
(5) You crawl out of bed and crawl under your desk. No one notices. Wait? Do dust bunnies count? No, they probably don't. Maybe you should sweep under here.

12
Roll To Dodge / Office Workers' day off
« on: September 15, 2023, 08:07:47 am »
This will be a silly rtd and will die when there is lack of interest or I run out of ideas, or the world explodes, whichever.
Hi, I am Oz.


It is early morning, perhaps even still late night, and you DO NOT want to go to work today. So, let's have an adventure! Or stay in bed, I'm not your mother, probably. At least I don't remember giving birth to such a lazy good for nothing slacker. Clean your room and do your laundry before the neighbors can smell you with the windows closed. And come eat. I made breakfast. Momma loves you.

Spoiler: character creation (click to show/hide)
Post your character and bold your action. Or don't. Momma loves you either way.

13
Einsteinian Roulette / Re: Einsteinian Roulette: OOC and NEW PLAYER INFO
« on: September 15, 2023, 07:46:11 am »
Huh.

Well, I guess since I am here I may as well say hi.

Hi.

14
Roll To Dodge / Re: Roll to Villain, the Re-Evildoing
« on: December 13, 2022, 06:45:25 am »
Grab a couple trees or telephone poles or something and begin hitting things in time to the clock ticking. I'm not even sure if ArgleBargle could hear or care about what Rachel said, but if she has done enough damage to get Argle's attention, he'll pursue her singlemindedly for a while.

Spoiler: ArgleBargle (click to show/hide)

15
Roll To Dodge / Re: Roll to Villain, the Re-Evildoing
« on: December 08, 2022, 08:23:16 am »
Whatever that was, it made ArgleBargle very angry. Throw a massive tantrum, throwing anything and everything at everything and anything, especially if it moves.

Spoiler: ArgleBargle (click to show/hide)

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 636