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Keep on going downstraem

0 (0%)

Time for some heroic swimming?...no?

0 (0%)

Find a dead tree or other long object, work as a group to hoist it across. (With emphasis on actually finding said object...)

4 (44.4%)

Invent some absurd creation involving rope and stuff which slowly pulls tied up people across…

5 (55.6%)

Total Members Voted: 9

[Tevish Szat]

There is no telling that these products were dwarf-made. She might have made them herself or smuggled them. They might have been lying in a depot somewhere as spoils of elf-dwarf warfare. And stick it-to-the-elves furniture in private dwarven homes, but not in the elf populated prison or at the elf-viewed fort entrance? Come on.

You make about a hundred pieces of wood furniature because you've deforested the whole map, haul them all to the depot come spring, and sit atop a mountain of fine wood products as you toss the elves a couple mechanisms for all their sunberry seeds, sunberries, sunshine, and rare and dangerous animals, mocking them while giving no recourse but to hand over their best products for a few stone scraps they can't even use without good mechanics.

And when that's done?  Well you can't offend them the same way next year, as that would be tacky (Maybe you throw their ambassador in jail with a goblin and dwarven criminal who's two inches from cracking, or trade them junk coated in some awful FB's dust if they unload on a tuesday), and you can't throw it into the wood furnace for whatever reason to do clear glass, so it all gets marked down and picked up by dwarves who can't afford proper stone furniture.

[AfellowDwarf]

That does not explain why they made wooden furniture in the first place. If they didn't turn it into furniture, they could just put the wood in the furnace and have a nice pile of practical charcoal. Besides, does that table look finely crafted to you? It's clearly some shoddily made elven table, hugged into a peverted shape resembling one, not a piece of dwarven crafsmanship.

Edit: If the dwarves really wanted furniture from their wood, they could've just made spare beds just in case some genius decided to lit them on fire. Heck, the subpar quality of our bed does nothing good against the claim that a big portion of our fortress' wooden furniture is elven.

Edit2: She might also be a short human. Humans don't have much trouble with woodcraftsdwarship, nor wooden furniture.

Edit3: If we did kill her, we could make fake beards out of her hair and candlewax, then have the two sentivores from the prison dispose of the evidence. We'd need to find a coffin, however, and we'd be in big trouble if both prisoners were dead.

[Kaos]

why are we still hiding and being all sneaky? we're a dwarf we are on a dwarf fort, can't we just look for a job to do or something?

[triato]

Becouse it looks like a labor camp.

[AfellowDwarf]

Indeed. Dwarves are being packed together in small rooms and have to work in slave-like conditions. Heck, the corrupt goverment is one step from killing its citizens for fun. If you don't like that, or the extreme fire hazard that comes with those rooms, you can go to prison where the other dwarves are free to throw stones at you untill you die. We should start a resistance movement, and recruit this elf.

Edit: Apart from the two prisoners and this elf, we could also recruit mr. red pants if we manage to tie and gag him. If we're lucky, the goblin knows how to do that properly.(as well as getting him to work for us) We'll first need to see if our bag is big enough to fit a dwarf in, though.

Edit2: The best place to put our base of operations would be near the well's water source. We can set up a restroom there.

Edit3: I may have looked at the wrong details. The wood might actually be a decoy; the dwarf in the picture does not exactly look healthy, and there are a lot of books on that shelf. This woman could be a necromancer. If she turns out to be a dwarf, we should question her about that dwarf on the picture. If she fails to answer adequately, we should rush towards the book shelf to find the secrets of life and death before she raises the latter.

[slowpokez]

-Uhmm....no...
-I was....looking for a...uhhm brewery....

-Oh...

*akward silence commences*

-So... I guess this aint the brewery eh?

-No...
-you're probably lookin' for the Brewstery out back...

-Probably...
-Uhhm by the way...You've got a map I could borrow?

-A what?

-Map. Of the fort.

-So you're a migrant...but then you couldve just talked to the people in charge right?

-Uhhm...

-I think you should leave now.
You're lucky my husband aint home.

-Oh, uhhm...thank you...

-Just go through the back door, but if I ever see your dirty face here again I'm calling the guards!

*I hurried through the door at the back of the house.*

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I ended up in some sort of courtyard surrounded by walls on all sides, mostly the backs of people's residents. The place was well lit with little round lamps here and there luminating the scene with a warm glow. There was a large sign that said-
                     
the Brewstery
If you die from alcohol poisoning you'll get a discount

The warm air was heavy with the scent of the sweetest dwarven rum, the filling aroma of old bitter ale and maybe a hint of vomit. Old memories of the dwarfs natural state of intoxication filled my body, mind and soul. I could feel my desires even in the tips of my toes.
Before I knew it I was halfrunning towards the light and the sign.

Upon entering the area atleast half a dozen heads turned my way, expressions ranged from indifferece or confusion to genuine joy.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The fat dwarf behind the bar suddently emerges into a jolly laughter followed by a blunt invite.
-Aye! Ye snot-bearded bastard! Get ove'ere n grab yaself a beer for fcks sake! Can't have dorfs standin' round bein' sober up in'ere!
-Can't seey I've seen ya face round these parts befou' matey,  you some sort-o migrant o-what?

...

-Well, guess you be one of 'em shy bastards then. Here let me introduce ya ey!
-Everyone! This is ma' new buddy Snotbeard!
-And me I'd be the one n only Brewster he'self! Legendary drunk, proficient womanizer, famous for wrestlin' wild amimals and last but not least proud owner of the last bastion of hope in this god-forsaken hole.

Suddently the tiny dwarf who were sitting upon another dorfs shoulder spoke up with a squeeky voice.
-Womanizer! pfff... You got as much charm as a goat dipped in heated oil and arguably less charisma! And I feel obligated towards your guest here to shine some light on the whole "wrestling situation", by famous he primarely refers to himself and by "wild animals" he means one pig. Yes, a single one!

-Shaddup Onil! You midget-bastard! You slugfaced piece of shit! Lover of elves and donkeys!You...!
Oh sorry, this is Onil the short-
-the bright*
-as i was sayin' he is so small that he always have this clump of dorf with 'im at all times, guess his tiny little legs can't keep up, hehe.
-Clump of dorfs name is Okod, people think he be a mute but he's accually just really slow.

-This guy ove'ere go b'the name-o Razor! Used to be a pirate but now his a fish-dissector or some-tin stupid like dat.
*he slowly nods*

- And the three ladies ove-there at the table be Esmar, Lora 'n Norede. Esmar's the one with the green shirt, she got a feisty temprament 'n a stabbing arm to match. She's accually not too bad if ya catch her on her good side tho. The one with the stupid grin on her face is Lora, she's a bit crazy but I've heard that she's an excellent mechanic. Last one's Norede, ex-military, kinda depressed and probably quite dangerous.

-Here's your beer b'the-way, first one's on the house ey! hehe. Tell me if ya want anotherone. Another ale'll be 3 bucks, 5 for a bit o rum and sometin' more exotic'll cost ya.

I sat there mesmerized by the dark golden liquid in my cup, the lights aroud me disappeared and only the light reflecting from the drinks surface remained. Soon the voices and the laughes started melting together into some sort of backround noise where no words were distinguishable from eachother. Even the voices in my head went silent, don't know if they did it out of respect for the moment or if I blocked them out like everything else...
I slowly lifted the cup, hands shaking from anticipation, as the liquid poured over my lips there was a few moments of sheer extacy. I had never felt so alive in as long as I could remember, it took a lot of willpower to force myself back into reality.

-Dorf at the back of the table is Merud, been drinking all night so dat he'd get the courage to talk wit'em dwarfettes. People wouldn't believe I'd ever say this but I think he drank a tad too much, hehe.

-Well, what's your story matey? Can't just be me talkin' all day, ey.

First of what story will you tell him?
The truth? Make one up? Say nothing?

And what should you do next?
Order in some more drinks and keep asking 'bout the fort? Or maybe go out lookin' for some ladies? A pirate...what's that 'bout? Perhaps ask 'bout the shady lookin' guy at the back?

-Bag-
Solid rock cogwheel
Rottening syrup roast
Map of Blackgate
A spare sock
The scarf
A handful Rowanberries
My traveling coat and an empty pipe.
20 copper coins and a diorite earring that the gobbos had missed
A pair of loafers with holes in them
A sack of chestnuts
moths

Also-The poll-feedback has me a bit confused...

[AfellowDwarf]

We should start our story at the most boring moment in our life. Remember the time we chewed that straw on our bed? Explain every last movement me made, the taste and texture of the straw, our dilemma on weither to get up now or a little later, every creak the bed makes etc. Once they are beginning to bore, we should change the subject to something else and they won't mind.

We should ask the dwarves with professions about those, maybe we'll learn something. We should stick with our friend the brewer for a while, but after that we could chat up with the mechanic. We're both gifted in not linear thinking, so we can relate to one another. Mechanics is an easy skill to practice, too. Once we get her to explain about her job, we should act fascinated.

Also: Dear amok! What is all this wood doing here? Is this fort run by an elf or something? We should mention that our fort had far more stone furniture then theirs when we bored them, and ask if there is a particulair reason for it. Edit:The bar seems to be wood decorated with iron. Oh, the horror.

We should ask the short guy about the politcal situation if we don't get to hear any, he's far more likely to give us the pessimistic stuff.

If we want to chat up with the scary man in the back for some reason, we should smoke a few chestnuts to blend in with him.

[slowpokez]

@AfellowDwarf
Gettin real tired of your stupid elf-conspiracies!
Do you know how boring it is to draw stone furniture on stone floors infront of stone walls in a stone room filled with stone statues where even the fckn tools are made from stone!?
And wouldn't you say that fungus wood is kinda dwarven?

[AfellowDwarf]

@AfellowDwarf
Gettin real tired of your stupid elf-conspiracies!

All right. But I'll keep my eyes on those ears if it's all the same to you.
*cough*_Elf*cough*

Edit: On a serious note, I'll stop talking about elf conspiracies now unless we see actual elves conspiring. Keep up the good work.

[Tevish Szat]

Analysis of the scene: We've been introduced to everyone but the Pipe Smoking Dwarf.

I say we tell a... colored version of our history.  Clearly, we're the only survivor of our old fort, and that's a story worth telling.  Gloss over the fact we survived by locking the door and hiding: luck (getting trapped until the fighting was basically over) is acceptable, introducing ourself with bald-faced cowardice (however justified) is not.

The really interesting part is that the Barman called this place the "Last bastion of hope" -- from what we've seen, we have moved into something of a dystopia, but we don't really know the extent.  If this lot is something of an underground, we want in.

But, of course, one can't be blatant about that.  Ask about the political climate FIRST, then if anyone is doing anything about it.

As long as the Pipe Smoking Dwarf isn't an informant of some sort, we'll be fine.  And if he is, there probably won't be trouble unless an underground member speaks up right here and now.

Our best conversations will be with the barman and MasterBlaster (Onil and Okod), or the Dwarfettes, particularly the two non-depressed ones.

[AfellowDwarf]

As long as the Pipe Smoking Dwarf isn't an informant of some sort, we'll be fine.  And if he is, there probably won't be trouble unless an underground member speaks up right here and now.

If he speaks up, and manages to get away that is. If he does, we can always gather some dimble cups, blood or other colorfull substances and die our hair. We won't have any trouble hiding our identity ourselves; we simply pick the snot out of our beard.

Edit:

I say we tell a... colored version of our history.  Clearly, we're the only survivor of our old fort, and that's a story worth telling.

Won't that reveal that we're migrants? I mean, we need to stay out of slave labour.

[gman8181]

Yeah we could tell him a little of our actual history but leave out the part about hiding.  Maybe say we were knocked unconscious and then passed by because the goblins thought we were dead.

No money for more drinks, we might need a job or some source of income soon.

Lady in the room, we'll be back for your head soon enough.  Teach her a lesson about respect.

Also yes, clean the beard.

[AfellowDwarf]

No money for more drinks, we might need a job or some source of income soon.

Let's stay out of the military and the slave-labor. Maybe we could become an apprentice to the brewer or the mechanic, or perhaps there is a job shortage somewhere.

Lady in the room, we'll be back for your head soon enough.  Teach her a lesson about respect.

Agreed.

Also yes, clean the beard.

What? Now? We have no intrest in revealing our secret identity to these people at the moment.

Edit:
Looking at the item list and nitpicking, didn't the chestnuts come in a seperate bag?

Edit2: If we're in a particulary malicious mood, we could taunt the ex-military dwarf into a tantrum or beserk and run for it.

[gman8181]

Having boogers in your beard does not constitute a disguise, it only makes you look stupid.  Please for the sake of self respect and some sense of dignity, clean the beard.

[AfellowDwarf]

Please for the sake of self respect and some sense of dignity, clean the beard.

Like that's more important then an unique look. But if we do clean our beard, we should put the boogers in bag in case we need them later. And are you sure we should groom ourselves in public? We might come off as a dwarf obsessed with their looks.