Name: Xankarvo the GrandLooks fine. You awaken sprawled across one of the lobby's low quality, floral print sofas, covered in a thick blanket of travel brochures and dusted with nondairy creamer from the continental breakfast nook.
Soul: Xankarvo was (after an unfortunate spate as an unlucky fellow hoping to advance his powers of shapeshifting) a mighty wizard focused entirely on creating a universe after his own image. This dream ended after he accidentally spawned the Big Bang inside his brain.
Incarnation: A tall bald guy in voluminous robes of glaring purple and shining silver and deep black, with a track suit in those same colors underneath it.
What You're good at: Xankarvo enjoyed his pyromancy, but on occasion a wizard's just gotta do it by hand. He's extremely good at setting things on fire.
What you're bad at: Socializing/resolving things peacefully. Xankarvo could have charitably been called an arrogant fuck.
Your Hopes: Xankarvo wants power. He's not sure why it's just a wizard thing. He wants to increase his abilities endlessly, to be without limit. To be omnipotent, perhaps.
Your Fears: To be ineffectual, to be incompetent and useless, unable to use even great power granted to him. He must be competent! (He's Xan that doesn't wanna act like Xan)
What you need to survive: Snacks and drinks. It's a limitation he despises and wishes he didn't have, but it's there.
What's in your pockets: He has a toothpick, an olive, and a really fancy pen.
You awaken behind the check in counter, covered in mantis goo and wildly hung over. The tile back here is slick and you find yourself sliding around like an idiot as you try to stand up. It doesn't help your mood.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Name: Tarmac the GluttonousYou awaken in the women's restroom, sprawled spread eagle next to crudely constructed doll of "pinky" the ghost, made up out of bed sheets, pillow cases, a tissue box, and what looks like some sort of melon or gourd. The entire thing is vaguely sticky.
Soul: Alejandro Trujillo, kingpin of the Miami underworld. He had in hand in a lot of illegal dealings from gun running to drug dealing to loitering and jaywalking. He died during a shootout with Miami PD. Not from being shot, from falling down the stairs on his way to the second floor of his house to get a better shot.
Incarnation:A rather odd plant with five-pointed leaves, formed in the shape of a man, with arms, hands, legs, and feet. His clothing is made of hemp and his head is a giant yellow smiley face, like a smiling Pac-Man.Scratch that, he's Pac-man with arms and legs. And hands and feet.
What You're good at: Using Needles, Blowing smoke rings
What you're bad at: Dealing with any form of authority, Putting together IKEA furniture (there's never enough screws or too many), Driving (it's why he had a guy for that)
Your Hopes: To find many scantily clad women of loose morals, along with many, many drugs.
Your Fears: To be left alone and destitute, without anything of his own. Or to be physically unable to act as an individual under his own will.
What you need to survive: Food and water. Or ghosts.
What's in your pockets: A lighter, a pack of cigarettes, a broken syringe
Welp, this looks fun. Time to join!You wake up on top of the check in counter and promptly scream and roll off as soon as you see the manager. You land flat on your back with a sound like a xylophone falling down a flight of stairs.
Name: Shawn McCrary
Soul: Just a grocery clerk. Didn't have much aspirations in life, actually liked his job. And helping people. And then died in a robbery gone wrong.
Incarnation: Kind of a...mismatched skeleton. One arm is shorter, ribs are all different sizes, jaw bone doesn't seem to fit quite right. He can speak, thankfully.
What he's good at: 1. Gets along with people/things/sentient beings rather well. Always liked working with/helping other people. 2. Rather good endurance. Liked to run on his days off, seems to of carried over to here as well.
What he's bad at: 1. Doesn't like confrontation, tends to cower, run away, or freeze up. Maybe that's why the robber shot him...
His hopes: People getting along, world peace, blah, blah, blah. A utopia pretty much.
His fears: Fucking eels man. They freak him out. War, constant fighting, stuff like that. Classic biblical hell would be his personal hell.
What he needs to survive: His high wear bits and pieces wear out, and need to be replaced. Legs, arms, parts that are being constantly used. Bones work the best, but wood can be used as a very temporary replacement. Oh, and some sort of lubricating agent for his joints. That seems to last much longer than one would suspect though.
What's in his pockets: He's got a backpack with a couple of spare bones, what looks like some rendered fat and some gloves.
Name: Golgon the DestroyerBronze man...ravishes castles...portcullis fetish...alright.
Soul: Sally, the cutest stuffed bunny in the cutest widdle dress. She had many pleasant tea times with Mr Bill and Mrs Knock before the three of them were burned at the stake for probably being plagued.
Incarnation: A heavily muscled, bronzed giant of a man, stern of jaw and clear of purpose. The kind that's clearly just finished either fighting his way into a castle or ravishing some scantily clad maidens, and likely on his way to the other one.
What You're good at: Cheering People Up, Grappling, Singing
What you're bad at: Mechanical Repair
Your Hopes: To find worthy companions to drink and make merry with, in whatever form that takes. "Worthy companions" obviously not meaning these jackasses.
Your Fears: To be powerless and irrelevant, unworthy of notice due to repeated failure and blatant impotence.
What you need to survive: Food and water.
What's in your pockets: A tea set stuffed with bobby pins.
Name: JerryI want you to think real hard about the words you are saying to me right now.
Soul: A Dandelion
Incarnation:A Black Hole (It Technically Fits in the Car)A Treant Mage
What He's Good At: Controlling the Location and Form of His Reincarnation, Magic
What He's Bad At:Not DyingLying (Misdirection's Fine)
His Hopes: Jerry doesn't really know what he wants yet.
His Fears: Being Unable to Reincarnate Himself
What He Needs to Survive: Light
What's In His Pockets: Jerry has a spellbook strapped to his back.
Groan loudly and attempt to clamber to my feet.You stand up, slip, flop, grunt and groan and eventually crawl off the tile and over to the carpet, where the goo presents less of a problem to standing. You get up and start trying to wipe yourself off against the nearest sofa.
Yawn, stand up, and toss "pinky" a cigarette on my way out. Light a cigarette for myself.You grab and unlit cigarette from your pack and toss it over your shoulder at the doll as you walk out, lighting another for yourself. You wakka wakka into the lobby and look around at the sorry state of affairs while blowing smoke rings. You notice the dead Manager, blink and then take another hard drag on the cigarette, wondering what the law enforcement is around here, if anything.
Get up and keep from dry heaving from the sight of the dead body. Then head outside and look around.You run outside, covering your mouth and nose to stop the acrid odor of insect juices from making you sick. How exactly a skeleton can be sick, you're not sure, but you certainly feel it. Luckily for you, there's a pretty good sized parking lot and paved road to walk around on. The area around the motel appears to consist of great while sand dunes that are, on closer inspection, made of countless tiny eyeballs; which are of course looking back at you. There's an indistinguishable smell, sort of a salty heat, on the air, with a faint tinge of burning rubber. It's still early morning, the burning fetus is low in the sky, but it's already hot as balls. Your bones feel chalky and warm.
Get up groggily and dust off my robes. Then cautiously explore the hotel in case there actually was anyone else there. I remember swearing something, to do a thing? Shit, shouldn't have had so much whatever the hell they serve.
What did I do wrong?((At a guess?))
No you don't have a gun in your pocket, fuck you.
Jerry has a spellbook strapped to his back.
No, I don't care if you incarnated as a cop or a soldier or megatron, you don't have a fucking gun. Or a sword. Or a battle ax.
Jerry has a spellbook strapped to his back.
Or a grenade or a stick of dynamite or a vial of nanomachines or a power gauntlet or a green lantern ring or whatever other thing you're already thinking.
Jerry has a spellbook strapped to his back.
At best you have a pocket knife. Or maybe a claw hammer. Or an ice pick. Or something like that. Probably shouldn't have any weapons.
Jerry has a spellbook strapped to his back.
Don't fuck with me here, or I'll nail your hand to your knee.
What did I do wrong?((Well, you listed you character's specialty as being good at choosing where to reincarnate.))
RESERVEDSpoiler: Charsheet (click to show/hide)
What did I do wrong?The tree part is fine. The metagame skill of becoming immortal via controlled reincarnation is not. The need that isn't a need is not. The inventory of a spellbook is...well technically ok because I've got a couple grimories myself and none of them work so there's no reason this one would. The skill of "Magic" is ok too, because I'll assume you mean rabbit out of a hat and card tricks rather then phenomenal cosmic power.
Head for the closest person.The nearest person to you is a mismatched skeleton man hanging out in the parking lot. You go over and tap him on the shoulder before asking him your question.
Hey! Entity. Don't remember your name. Whatever. Were you part of the pact I may or may not have made last night with some other people?
Wipe off on the sofa. Stumble outside.You get most of the goo out of your fur and walk out into the parking lot. There's a guy in a robe talking to a skeleton out here, and the light of the distant burning infant hurts your eyes. Over toward your left, one of the hotel room doors, one on the second level, is opening up.
Get myself some hearty food and drink whilst examining the manager's possessions. Did he have a logbook or something I could snoop at?You grab a bottle of orange juice -or what you're pretty sure is orange juice -and a bunch of cheap bagels from the continental breakfast nook and chew on one while lifting the manager's corpse up onto the counter top and rifling through his pockets. There's a sign in book here on the counter, some money in his vest pocket, in the form of a bunch of red, green and purple coins, and a set of car keys hanging on one of his little legs inside the vest. You take the coins and the keys before chugging the remaining OJ and finishing your 4th bagel.
"...I'm not staying around long enough to get put into whatever passes for a jail around here. That means I need to search the poor bastard in there...damnit."You stop worrying about losing a lunch you never ate, and instead try to head back inside. As you turn around though, a man in a track suit cuts you off and starts talking to you.
Cover my mouth, then realize I'm a skeleton. Don't have to worry about puking. Still don't feel good though. Go back inside, put on the gloves, and search the manager for keys, or anything useful.
"Nope, I was never here."
Wakka wakka my yellow ass outside to enjoy my cigarette.
((Wait, piecewise? You have got to be kidding me.))Do I? Why do I?
"So that wasn't a alcoholic fever dream? Yeah, I guess I am. Names Shawn by the way. I'm guessing all of us out here were part of that. I say we get the keys to the Jeep and get out of here before someone calls the local law enforcement, whatever that may be."Xankarvo, also called the Grand. Suppose that isn't relevant right now though.
If people start loading up into the Jeep, get in with them. Otherwise, keep looking around.
Sheet((Both of our chars are ambitious, self-centered Old World scavengers. I suspect that either we'll form some kind of mutually beneficial pact, or one of us is going to kill the other.))in progress.done!Spoiler: Sheet Done (click to show/hide)
"Roooooooaaaaaaaad triiiiiiiiiiiiiip!"You grab a bunch of pamphlets that some idiot was using as a blanket and look through them. You find a map of the local area, some things to see in the 88,888,888th hell, and a few advertisements for local tourist traps. You jam them in your vest pocket- you appropriated the vest from the manager, he ain't using it- and head outside.
See if I can find which car these keys belong to. If so, place everyone into it and let's roll!
Actually, see if I can find a map first. Or anything that might tell me where we're going, really.
Looks like the spidermoon set.Did I mention that I cut that back? You can still do the rainbow thing, but no clusterfuck after that, thanks. You're gonna lag us the hell out.
Locate car, also this would be a great time to randomly vomit rainbows. Did I mention it's rather painful?
"So that wasn't a alcoholic fever dream? Yeah, I guess I am. Names Shawn by the way. I'm guessing all of us out here were part of that. I say we get the keys to the Jeep and get out of here before someone calls the local law enforcement, whatever that may be."You notice people gathering up by the jeep and go over to join them. Clearly they know something you don't.
If people start loading up into the Jeep, get in with them. Otherwise, keep looking around.
"So that wasn't a alcoholic fever dream? Yeah, I guess I am. Names Shawn by the way. I'm guessing all of us out here were part of that. I say we get the keys to the Jeep and get out of here before someone calls the local law enforcement, whatever that may be."Xankarvo, also called the Grand. Suppose that isn't relevant right now though.
If people start loading up into the Jeep, get in with them. Otherwise, keep looking around.
He idly stares out at the fields of eyeballs for a moment.
Well, a pact was made to find the first something or other - god or afterlife or something - might as well get to it.
Walk around the hotel and inform any people I encounter to gather whatever they want and then get in the jeep, I wanna get mah ultimate power sooner rather than later.
Oh, and look for anything that might be useful for a road trip while I'm at it - any bags, spare shoes, pointy things, food, etc. Stash in some of the many pockets in my robes and tracksuit.
Finish cigarette, get some food, then get to the jeep. Oh, and get coffee. Yellow Ball need coffee badly.You steal a few donuts as the guy in the robes dumps them and the rest of the food into a garbage bag and heads outside. You pour yourself some hot coffee from the automated brewing machine and walk out into the parking lot, still smoking. As you walk out, another hotel guest, the one that the gorilla saw coming out of their room last turn, walks into the lobby, passing you. The screaming starts a few moments later. You swallow your coffee in one long gulp and put the cigarette out in the cup before tossing it over your shoulder.
"...adventure awaits!"
JEEP GO TIME NOW
Once we're on the road, pop in a cassette and pass off the pamphlets to the least stupid looking person who isn't currently driving.
Fall into the car. I don't know how. Just find a way to fall into it. Preferably from three seconds prior. Don't ask me how.
Let's go, let's go, someone else drive, I'm bad at it.
Get in the jeep and contemplate my future divinity.
"Time to go, let's get out of here, vàmanos, all aboard the get the hell out of dodge express!"
Get into the drivers seat. Take a glance at a pamphlet and head towards the first thing I see on it. After we get a decent distance away, pull over and look at the pamphlet closer for land marks or roads to another plane/hell/heaven/whatever.
Get in the jeep. Let's get this murder wagon rolling.Shawn takes the wheel while Golgon gets shotgun, putting the box of cassettes on his lap. Tarmac, Ken and Xankarvo (Here after called Xan), all jump in the back, cramming themselves up on the jeep's back, bench style seat. Shawn pops the jeep in reverse and drives backwards, straight over the curb, through the hotel's decorative bushes and out onto the road. He slams the shifter into drive and the jeep's tires squeal for a moment before it lurches forward and down the road. Golgon, who has been intently rummaging through the box, finally chooses one that looks good and carefully fits it into the tape deck. There's a short section of static and silence before the music starts playing. (https://youtu.be/PaO38oSwRSM)
"Unless anyone objects, we're going towards the wall of teeth and taking the historic route."
Go towards the wall of teeth and take the historic route, unless people object.
Might as well. For all we know, there'll be something valuable in the wall itself. Or we might just learn from the experience.Shawn follows the road until he comes to the fork marked "Historic route". Historic in this case meaning an unpaved road constructed out of evenly spaced tusks or bones laid like train tracks across the eyeballs. The jeep drives slowly, using the tusks to keep traction and not sink into the "sand". The "sand" looks vaguely like your standard white sand from a distance, but up close the nature of it's eyeball composition becomes much more obvious, and it has the consistency of wet porridge. Aqueous Humor coats the tires and the bottom of the jeep as it grids along, and the air takes on a salty, saline smell. Eventually, as the flaming fetal sun rises near the apex of the reddish sky, they make it to the wall of teeth.
Observe the countryside as we go to wherever.
"Ah this is...hmm. I'm not sure what I was expecting really. I don't think this is a good path to follow. Wanna poke around here a bit and then get back on the main road?"Shawn gets out of the car and walks over to the metal sign near the giant pile of teeth. He squats down and reads it while Golgon rifles through the other pamphlets.
Look around the pile o' teeth. Read what the sign says. If no one objects, get back into the Jeep and head towards Slencville or whatever the name of the town is.
((Hmm. So, I have an idea. Shawn's a skeleton that works by replacing his bits right? I wonder if I can use this pike o' bones to build a new body. Also, if we survive this, I'm getting post-it notes and a sharpie so I can have angry eyebrows at Golgon))
"...WHY DIDN'T YOU READ THOSE OTHER PAMPLETS?!?"
Bad idea time! Dive into the pile o' bones and teeth and start building a new body! Aim for matching bits and something intimidating, if possible.
((Hmm. So, I have an idea. Shawn's a skeleton that works by replacing his bits right? I wonder if I can use this pike o' bones to build a new body. Also, if we survive this, I'm getting post-it notes and a sharpie so I can have angry eyebrows at Golgon))
"...WHY DIDN'T YOU READ THOSE OTHER PAMPLETS?!?"
Bad idea time! Dive into the pile o' bones and teeth and start building a new body! Aim for matching bits and something intimidating, if possible.
((Welp.))You look around. You notice a few things: First, it seems as though this little clearing in the eyeball dunes has suddenly become far larger then it was before. You're no longer in a flattened circle just barely large enough to hold the jeep and the pile of bones, you're in a giant circular field, and the road is quite a ways back away from you now. Second, there are large, three armed, faceless albino humanoids standing in a ring around the outer edge of clearing.
"What? I was in a hurry!
Besides, it's not like we wouldn't have come if we'd known it was a ploy to feast on our tender flesh and add our bleached remains to the pile."
Glance around. There's gotta be somewhere for deranged cannibals to hide or get here nearby.
"This is why I hate the scenic route."
Light up another cigarette. Ready my broken syringe to poke things.
Xankarvo blanches.There is exactly no one in the driver's seat right now. That guy, the talking skeleton, got out of the jeep and dove into the Wall of Teeth. You berate an empty leather chair.
BRONZE MAN! DRIVE! AWAY! RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
Berate whoever's driving into getting the fuck away, leaving that other guy behind.
"He's a fuckin skeleton."*Gasp*
....hmm. Roll around and see if I can get an arm attached to tge base of my skull. Work on putting myself back together, bigger and scarier.[2]
Ken vaults into the drivers seat and hits the gas, swerving the car around and driving towards the road.[6]
No one gives a fuck, maggot, either shut up or help me find a source of fire.You don't see anything in the area that looks terribly flammable. You know the Round yellow guy has a lighter but he's hiding it somewhere you can't see it! You whip out your pen and jab it threateningly toward the Bone Thief, all the while backing up to be on the other side of the car.
While looking for anything I could use to set things that aren't myself on fire (don't include any parts of people near me, the jeep, any parts of the jeep, etc. Only things inside the jeep that aren't my travelling companions or myself), get my pen out of my pocket and hold it threateningly.
Drive-by shanking? Drive-by shanking. Let go of the syringe if it gets stuck, wouldn't want to fall out of the Jeep.[2]
It's a desert with tiny eyeballs instead of grains of sand, with a burning, eyeless baby vomiting flaming pitch onto the distant horizon instead of a sun.10/10 would live in.
Ken begins punching its skull repeatedly.1. Bold your actions
Wheels don't immediately spin randomly if let go of. Even if they did, there is nothing to smash into.Just sayin. And there are lots of dunes out here for you to ramp off of, duke boys style.
((You could just start thwapping him repeatedly with your floppy meat appendage.))(http://38.media.tumblr.com/06c8487d5868e9e99fdd05359c281e35/tumblr_mkb88pyuiG1rxf6yzo1_500.gif)
Patiently wait to become Plot-Relevant. Maybe hum a little tune.You're 9th in the waitlist. Hold your butt.
Nah, it was an excellent idea! Keep trying![3]
Ken begins punching its skull repeatedly.
((If we go ramping, odds are is the bonestealer will fall off on impact~))[4][2]
Smack him with the meatflap~! I didn't hear anything about it stealing my hand!
Pry its fingers off the roll cage, preferably as we're turning.You reach over Ken's unconscious body and grab the Bone Thief's arms by the wrists. You brace yourself against the center console and push upward with all your might. The thing's grip falters and slips.
((There is no way I could come to regret touching this thing's hands.))
Fucking - yellow round guy! Give me your lighter!You snatch the proffered lighter from Tarmac's hand and then quickly dig through your trash bag of food until you find what you're looking for: A bottle of high proof booze. You take a huge mouthful of it and then strike a flame on the lighter. You shove your way past Tarmac and stand up on the back seat so that you're face to face with the Bone Thief. You hold the lighter to your lips and breathe a cloud of burning alcohol straight onto the thing's face.
Attempt to obtain lighter from pac-man. Once obtained, use my skill at lighting stuff on fire to light the bone stealer on fire.
Wake up.[3]
Get the unconcious gorilla off the gas and slow the jeep down so we can get our shit in order.[5]
"HaHA! None can stand against the might of Golgon the Destroyer and... The Flaming Menace! HA HA HA HA!"You stand up in your seat and shout taunts back in the general direction of the bone thief.
Laugh and boast triumphantly and reassuringly.
"...well hi there! I was wondering if maybe you fine beings would be able to help me. As you can see I am a skull, but I used to be an entire skeleton. If you fine beings could help me with that, I most certainly would be willing to help you in your endeavours. So what say you?"This attempt goes poorly for you. The last thing you see is a bunch of hands reaching down towards you, and the last thing you think of is that scene from Troll 2. It is a most unfortunate way to go.
Talky talk
((Since the initial party counted only four members out of intended five, and plus you just lost one, are you picking up anyone from Waitlist yet?))
((Since the initial party counted only four members out of intended five, and plus you just lost one, are you picking up anyone from Waitlist yet?))
((Since the initial party counted only four members out of intended five, and plus you just lost one, are you picking up anyone from Waitlist yet?))
(( The way the waitlist is handled (to my understanding) is that PW will randomly pop a few of you into existence at the next available stop. The party then gets to choose which of you to take in the jeep! So be interesting! Or kill the competition :P ))
((Since the initial party counted only four members out of intended five, and plus you just lost one, are you picking up anyone from Waitlist yet?))
(( So be interesting! Or kill the competition :P ))
((I'm a drunken sailor that can carsurf with ease! Although I'm tempted to change form to "small triceratops" for the hell of it.))
((I'm a drunken sailor that can carsurf with ease!))
((a drunken sailor))
((I'm a hyena. I do hyena things. Please let me into your car.))I really should sig that.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Wake uuuup.You wake up. You immediately regret this decision when you feel your arm again. You manage to stop swearing long enough to be shoved into the back seat so Xan can start driving.
So, Xankarvo says while looking at a pamphlet, fuck the historic route, and fuck Sodomy lake, not in the way it intends. Let's take the hellway.
Can someone help me get this monkey off the gas?
With the help of other people (if I don't get help don't do it), heave the gorilla over onto one of the back seats or something and get in the driver's seat, then turn us toward the Hellway. Let's head towards ... Slencville.
Hey can someone else read a few of those tour guide things and see if the village is called anything different on them?
"Certainly friend!"You swap cassettes and wait for the music (https://youtu.be/nzMKRkUOG-o) to start before you look through the rest of the pamphlets. The vast majority of them are traps, all leading to the Wall of Teeth, but you find one that contains a large map of Slencville.
Swap cassettes, search for any other discrepancies or clues in the pamphlets.
Enjoy the ride and my cigarette.You settle back into the back seat and keep smoking. Good thing you don't have teeth, or they'd be as yellow as the rest of you.
Reincarnate? Hopefully somewhere better? Relatively speaking?No tears, only dreams now.
Now, you three I mentioned, if you had to be anywhere in a sleepy little town full of odd customs, odder flora, and even odder people, where would you go? We'll assume that you're not natives, just visitors having ended up there in some way. Maybe Recently incarnated. Maybe just hitch hiked. Your choice.
((I'm a hyena. I do hyena things. Please let me into your car.))I really should sig that.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Edit: I just did. Should I have asked for permission first?
Look for something to use as a brace so my armflab doesn't flab around.
"Anyo-fuckow anyone know how to" Rather loud groan of pain. "Regrow bones?"
Okay someone else drive, I'm shit at it.You get out of the car and, in a stunning example of foresight, go get your samples of eyesand by digging around the stuck tires, freeing them at the same time as you fill your odd container of loot. Your food now nice and contaminated, you return to the car, climbing into the passenger side chair.
...
Actually hold on a second.
Get out of the driver's seat and go collect some of the eyesand into the bag I put all the food into. Never know when you'll need a bunch of eyes.
Make sure I'm in the car before it starts driving away.
Also make sure I don't start sinking into the eyes. If I start doing that when I get out of the car, get back in with haste.
"I do not! Perhaps we shall find someone in Slencville. They are reputed to have a truce with these bone thieves, so perhaps they are familiar with reversing their afflictions.
In any case, I shall drive us there without delay! With only a slight delay!"
Take the wheel, start driving us to Slencville. Once eyeball dude's back in the car. Maybe check out the Forefathers Graves? Graves haven't steered us wrong so far!
Now, you three I mentioned, if you had to be anywhere in a sleepy little town full of odd customs, odder flora, and even odder people, where would you go? We'll assume that you're not natives, just visitors having ended up there in some way. Maybe Recently incarnated. Maybe just hitch hiked. Your choice.((Wasn't expecting to get in so quick
Now, you three I mentioned, if you had to be anywhere in a sleepy little town full of odd customs, odder flora, and even odder people, where would you go? We'll assume that you're not natives, just visitors having ended up there in some way. Maybe Recently incarnated. Maybe just hitch hiked. Your choice.
You guys alright with how we're handling the maps by the way? I figured it might be neat to sort of piece together a road map using smaller maps found along the way, and to scribble things on them as we go.I like it. Thematic and yeah, helps keep track of what's going on.
Sort of a way to keep track of where we've been and whats happened.
People dislike me for some reason. I'll leave the talking to others.
Give lighter back to PAC-man, stay quiet.
"I don't like this. Why the fuck are they so fucking cheery? Nobody's that happy around here."
Accept lighter. Keep shank concealed, watch the people.
You guys alright with how we're handling the maps by the way? I figured it might be neat to sort of piece together a road map using smaller maps found along the way, and to scribble things on them as we go.I like it. Thematic and yeah, helps keep track of what's going on.
Sort of a way to keep track of where we've been and whats happened.
"Clearly these citizens are overjoyed to have new guests! And/or desire our succulent meats. Let us inquire as to which."
Pull over and engage a citizen in conversation.
"Greetings! Are you a resident of this town? Curious that you all look so similar! Are you nervous about something?"
"Greetings! Are you a resident of this town? Curious that you all look so similar! Are you nervous about something?""Oh it's just" She looks about some more, "We so rarely get real people around here. It's a rare and happy sight!" She seems to suddenly realize something "Oh! You should go talk to the Major! He'd explain it all to you, I'm sure."
"We so rarely get real people around here. It's a rare and happy sight!"
((I was reading it as OTHER real people, but yes, that's a good point."We so rarely get real people around here. It's a rare and happy sight!"
((Is it just me, or does that imply that they are not real people?))
Oi, irony, Kevak, Beirus. We got people waiting to come in. You gonna do a thing or am I gonna have to get the cosmic paddle out?(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_I2uQkGxIykM/TEAAkE4Ue3I/AAAAAAAAL5w/BF90bOFOc4o/s1600/paddling+blackadder.jpg)
Continue enjoying my cigarette.You continue smoking.
Stay quiet in the jeep, be cautious, maintain my existence, etc.You do your best imitation of a paper weight, stubbornly existing despite the best efforts of the universe.
((That's a better action than I was expecting, but I think we'll make a slight detour.))
Golgon looked at the map.
"It would seem heading to town hall brings us past the diner. I am concerned, but not greatly! Let us examine the Forefathers Graves first."
Drive up the road to Remembrance Road, turn right, look for Forefathers Graves.
((That's a better action than I was expecting, but I think we'll make a slight detour.))
Golgon looked at the map.
"It would seem heading to town hall brings us past the diner. I am concerned, but not greatly! Let us examine the Forefathers Graves first."
Drive up the road to Remembrance Road, turn right, look for Forefathers Graves.
Xankarvo decides to speak up. This is a good idea.
You! Hitchhiker person. What merits do you offer that we should allow you in our company?
"Cash, grass, or that other thing. Or cigarettes. You got any of those, hitchhiker guy?"
"You there, fine traveler! At what level would you rate the act of feasting on our delicious flesh?"
((Can we still do this?))
Kevak action: demand this potential new travel companion prove his worth via interpretative dance. Provide appropriate beatbox noises.
Xankarvo considers this, then spits in his hand.
Prove it. Turn this saliva to gasoline.
((Can we still do this?))If Kevak doesn't do this I will!
Kevak action: demand this potential new travel companion prove his worth via interpretative dance. Provide appropriate beatbox noises.
((Can we still do this?))If Kevak doesn't do this I will!
Kevak action: demand this potential new travel companion prove his worth via interpretative dance. Provide appropriate beatbox noises.
((Aw.))((Can we still do this?))If Kevak doesn't do this I will!
Kevak action: demand this potential new travel companion prove his worth via interpretative dance. Provide appropriate beatbox noises.
((You have my response.))
((Aw.))
"Come now, where is your fire! Surely your lack of appetites is not so complete as to render you passionless!
In addition, we suspect the inhabitants of this town intend to eat us. Perhaps this is untrue and rude! Nonetheless, were I you I would doubtless rather the Car of Dance to the streets."
Hmm that power of yours seems rather cheaty when it comes to the fact that you also need gasoline to survive. Manufacturing your own required materials eh? Well, lets see about that. Perhaps, instead, we'll go with something more fun.Xankarvo considers this, then spits in his hand.
Prove it. Turn this saliva to gasoline.
John collects the spit with gloved hand and then touches it with ungloved hand. He then proceeds to putting the resulting gas on the road and lighting it on fire.
- I hope your saliva doesn't normally do that.
((I hope that happens, at least))
Still smoking.
((Something about the last sentence slips my mind, I think I can't see what exaclty you mean there.))(("Anyway, if I were you I'd rather be in the dance-related car than on foot."))
...I vote we let him drive."But he will not dance! And seems disinterested in joining us in any case."
"But he will not dance! And seems disinterested in joining us in any case."
[5]((Well that was very convinient :P.))
It works. This time.
Load the hitchhiker like any other potentially valuable objectin my loot sack then?
Whatever works!Load the hitchhiker like any other potentially valuable objectin my loot sack then?
Hop in the back of the vehicle, preferably aside from gorilla creature.
- Thanks guys. So, where are we heading? You got any long-shot destination?
Divinity, of course!
Hop in the back of the vehicle, preferably aside from gorilla creature.
- Thanks guys. So, where are we heading? You got any long-shot destination?
"Oh, very well. You may join us. In fact, I insist that you join us."You attempt to grab the hitchhiker and toss him into the trunk - which is usually the start of something amazing - but he wriggles away and goes to sit next to the gimped gorilla. The Gorilla looks at him with vague interest before going back to cradling his arm in pain.
Load the hitchhiker like any other potentially valuable object, then continue driving towards our grave. I mean, the Forefathers Graves.
"Illegally taking dead people's stuff? Normally I'd be the first one in, but that building kinda creeps me out."
(Hmm, kevak is still not posting... Only one thing to do.)
Kevak action: does this creature have a booty? If yes, shake it like there's no tomorrow.
+1
((Fack. this didn't notify me. What did I miss?))
I've got labs to go do today. I'll be back in....8 or 9 hours.
If you guys haven't done something, I'm letting other people control your characters till you come back.
Dear other people,
Please posts actions for the existing characters to perform if their players decide not to show up. Try not to murder them.
A little maiming is ok.
Kevak action: does this creature have a booty? If yes, shake it like there's no tomorrow.
+1
((I vote townhall.))YOUR BUTTOCKS REMAIN FIRMLY WHERE THEY ARE.
Do not shake buttocks.
You made this thread as a quote mine, didn't you.((I vote townhall.))YOUR BUTTOCKS REMAIN FIRMLY WHERE THEY ARE.
Do not shake buttocks.
FIRMLY.
((Well let's just do this then.))
Drive to town hall, see if I can find this Major or whoever the old lady was talking about. Take the route that takes us past the diner and scope that out while we're there.
Seems a good idea.((Well let's just do this then.))
Drive to town hall, see if I can find this Major or whoever the old lady was talking about. Take the route that takes us past the diner and scope that out while we're there.
I agree on that.
I'm fine with this too.Seems a good idea.((Well let's just do this then.))
Drive to town hall, see if I can find this Major or whoever the old lady was talking about. Take the route that takes us past the diner and scope that out while we're there.
I agree on that.
((Good idea- find another car and start a convoy; that way you can carry more PCs! Metagame ahoy!))
((Does a mute glass orb count?))((Good idea- find another car and start a convoy; that way you can carry more PCs! Metagame ahoy!))
((Only if we're up with some handsome female PCs, because John is not hauling any purple and green furry PCs in his shiny new sportscar he is totally going to purchase or hijack any moment now :P))
((Does a mute glass orb count?))
((Yes. A glass orb is like half a pair of boobs.))...
((depends on diameter.))
It always does, doesn't it?
((Would a middle-aged pageant mom with plastic surgery count?))((Does a mute glass orb count?))((Yes. A glass orb is like half a pair of boobs.))...
((You just got yourself a place in the trunk, Egan. Maybe on dashboard, depends on diameter.))
((Would a middle-aged pageant mom with plastic surgery count?))
As we ride along the street, look for three things specifically: car-selling place, fuel station and gun-selling place.We'll assume you're in shotgun, if only because everyone else is doing their best paperweight impression.
- So the plan is, stop by the town hall to say hello to the mayor and then we stop by that Echo Diner? How about getting us some supplies as well? Map, fuel, that sort of thing. Who knows how long will we ride until we end up in a place that doesn't want to immediately murder us. Better to be prepared for a long trip.
((By the way, who is in the shotgun? Because I want to be in the shotgun. Or in the driver's. In front.))
((So when do I come in?))
((So when do I come in?))You said you wanted to be in an open area, flame grilling a salmon. So you're in the big vacant lot that is the Stump RV park. Until they go there, you're stuck. Unless you want to reconsider your positioning.
Continue drooling on self silently as Xankarvo pushes us into the town hall.
Welp, let's get going into the damn place, come on.
Prod/shove/harass everyone out of the car and into city hall.
- I'll go get some stuff, see y'all at that Echo Diner in an hour or so, 'kay?
John jumps out of the car and starts speeding towards general store.
Go see if that general store has cigarettes. Or needles.The general store is a good half block away from where you parked the car...in the middle of the street. The townspeople stare at you out of their windows and storefronts, smiling and seeming really quite happy to see you. The general store itself is a tallish building, quite thin and long, and of a ruddy red color like old clay. Large windows display sale signs that are so sunrotted that they must be decades old, if not more, and the stuff on display is quite random, though much more well maintained. Inside you find a fairly dimly lit building with walls covered in shelves of general groceries and various odds and ends, as well as large table displays of similar things, and baskets of cheap items like screws, bolts, various fruits and clothes hangers stacked in the corners. It all smells of old wood and slightly damp cardboard. The shop keeper is standing behind the counter, beaming at you over his cash register.
Stay in car. Ken doesn't trust these townsfolk.You sulk in the car, holding your arm and glancing about suspiciously.
You said you wanted to be in an open area, flame grilling a salmon. So you're in the big vacant lot that is the Stump RV park. Until they go there, you're stuck. Unless you want to reconsider your positioning.
Look for jugs of water, or cannisters with any liquid, gas, perhaps. Also look for guns. If I cannot find those, ask the keeper if he has any. If any of those are found, ask him what usually goes as payment around here, since no price tags. If he has neither, ask if there is another place in town where one can obtain mentioned items. Then ask if there is a place in town where one could get a car.You look around. There's a shelf full of large ceramic and glass jars of various kinds, most which look like they had some other purpose at some point and were just emptied and cleaned out. They don't have anything in them right now, but they would hold liquids, if you could get some. There's an empty, red metal jerry can in one corner of the room, and a bunch of what look like glass bottles of soda or some other drink lined up on one shelf. You don't see any fire arms or weapons of any kind beyond some kitchen knives and various gardening tools that might be easily re-purposed into murdering implements.
Golgon approached the centrally-seated individual.
"Greetings! We are travelers. We have been told there is an individual here who can more properly explain this place and its history."
Talk to the thing!
Ask what the shopkeeper wants for a few packs of cigarettes and some syringes.He again seems confused.
John puts jerry can, a largest jar to be found and an empty soda bottle on the counter."If thats what you would like to do, I will do it." The man-looking being says, smiling. He seems almost not to understand what the concept of a shop is.
- I would like to take these with me. They will be very handy after my friends and me finish our visit to your hospitable town of... Slencville, right? - and will journey on. I would like, however, to give you something in return, for that is the custom of the place I came from.
Continue skulking in car. Get in drivers seat. Just in case.You sit in the car and wait for someone to attack.
Be silent, look around to judge how easily I could set this place on fire if need be. Don't actually do it though.You think you could set it on fire pretty easily, though it might take a while to spread. You don't see any of those nice, flammable synthetic fabrics. Man, curtains made out of those go up like flash paper, it's wonderful.
"Why does everyone here look so similar, no offense intended? Why is everyone so happy to see travelers? Who were the Forefathers and what did they do to found this place?""We are Hellborn, born here, from the union of two like yourself, lifeborn. We have no other incarnation before, and many believe we will have no incarnation after this one. I am a 5th generation of hellborn, as are most others here; I suppose that is why we all appear similar. We are happy to see you, because you are a Real being, one descended from the lofty planes of life to dwell in this place for all time, immortal and free. Beings like you created our town, created us. But there seem to be so few like you here, we rarely see them, so their presence is something to be celebrated."
Words words words.
"We are Hellborn, born here, from the union of two like yourself, lifeborn. We have no other incarnation before, and many believe we will have no incarnation after this one. I am a 5th generation of hellborn, as are most others here; I suppose that is why we all appear similar. We are happy to see you, because you are a Real being, one descended from the lofty planes of life to dwell in this place for all time, immortal and free. Beings like you created our town, created us. But there seem to be so few like you here, we rarely see them, so their presence is something to be celebrated."((Neat))
"If thats what you would like to do, I will do it." The man-looking being says, smiling. He seems almost not to understand what the concept of a shop is.
((Can I relocate nearer? I imagine Slencville isn't very friendly to Hyenas, and I'd probably catch the first car I could out of town.))I suspect that Slencville is friendly towards all "life-born".
Okay, so I'm going to try this application, but I've got slightly less dumb ideas if this one gets nope'd.I think that was the general gist of my character's niche, but I'm fine with you entering. Rename him Kenny.
Name: Junkpot MXV
Soul: A particularly badly-made Sten Mk2 SMG, blew up when first fired.
Incarnation; A vaguely humanoid mechanical assembly, at least one of its limbs probably works. It's about the shittiest thing you've ever seen.
Gender; Rust.
What You're good at: Always reincarnates as a mobile mechanical assemblage within about three kilometers of its last death, good at mechanical maintenance. Pretty damn practiced slapstick comedian.
What you're bad at: So absurdly shitty and fragile that any damage whatsoever causes it to die painfully and spectacularly. Trip over a rock? Bits of ruptured springs go ten feet in the air. Kid shoots it with a slingshot? Michael Bay-esque fireball that somehow avoids harming anything else nearby. Pat on the back? Cumulative rust damage instantly reduces it to a dust-devil of powdered iron oxide. Deeply depressed. Really, really bad singing voice.
Your Hopes: Find oblivion/permanent death. Utterly impossible to achieve. Hence depression.
Your Fears: Immortality, children with slingshots, Joseph Stalin, lubricant oil.
What you need to survive: Scrap metal {To replace everything that falls off and doesn't cause instant death} Coolant of some kind {Air, water, ice, chilled sand, anything to stop it accumulating too much heat from its immensely shitty circuits and burning to death} Antidepressants. {Duh. Not sure how the mechanical horror uses em' though. Sufficient intoxicating chemicals also work, for a while.}
What's in your pockets: A half-empty bottle of antidepressant pills, a photo of Vladimir Lenin with an ineptly drawn mustache and eyebrows in earwax-colored crayon.
Okay, so I'm going to try this application, but I've got slightly less dumb ideas if this one gets nope'd.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Hee, thanks!
I assumed I'd get dropped wherever the GM wants me to start, but sure, I'm in Slenceville. Making a somewhat jerky attempt to crawl along the roadside the PCs're traveling along, towards a neon "Bar" sign. Leaving a trail of rust, oil, and bolts, along with thin, greasy black smoke from a few gaps in what passes for external plating.
What You're good at: Always reincarnates as a mobile mechanical assemblage within about three kilometers of its last death, good at mechanical maintenance. Pretty damn practiced slapstick comedian.
Name: JerryI want you to think real hard about the words you are saying to me right now.
Soul: A Dandelion
Incarnation:A Black Hole (It Technically Fits in the Car)A Treant Mage
What He's Good At: Controlling the Location and Form of His Reincarnation, Magic
What He's Bad At:Not DyingLying (Misdirection's Fine)
His Hopes: Jerry doesn't really know what he wants yet.
His Fears: Being Unable to Reincarnate Himself
What He Needs to Survive: Light
What's In His Pockets: Jerry has a spellbook strapped to his back.
As you do that I'm gonna sharpen an ax and look meaningfully from it, to you, and back to it.
The ruinous machine looks up at you, pushing itself up off the ground. The process of doing so breaks off a limb.
"Certainly. I am not bound to obey, but I have very little incentive not to do so."
The ruinous machine looks up at you, pushing itself up off the ground. The process of doing so breaks off a limb.
"Certainly. I am not bound to obey, but I have very little incentive not to do so."
Hold it. He responds to GM right now.
Why Kenny? I mean, sure, but why?I believe he was that kid from South Park that died in nearly every episode and inexplicably reappeared perfectly fine in the next episode.
Welp, I'mma just sit here then. Sorry, relevancy is manyfold.I TALK TO MY FUTURE SLAVES, NOT YOU MORE FUTURER SLAVE :P
((Perhaps I will reposition myself to somewhere more travelled, perhaps the main plaza/road or something?))
((Can I relocate nearer? I imagine Slencville isn't very friendly to Hyenas, and I'd probably catch the first car I could out of town.))Yes. But we've only got room for 6 people in the car, and one of you is riding in the trunk.
"Can I have all of them?"You grab a variety of syringes, a pack of sewing needles and then fill a glass jar with as many cigarettes as it will hold. You walk back out to the car without saying anything to the shop keeper.
Grab like 5 syringes of varying size, a needle or two, and as many cigarette packs or cartons as I can carry.
You trade your jacket for in for the other goods and take a good look at the shop keeper. The Shop keeper looks a lot like the others in this town, same sort of goblin like appearance but with a short layer of curly, almost sheep like fuzz growing over most of his body, save for his face. Odd, to say the least, but you share a car with a gorilla and pacman so perhaps not as odd as it could be."We are Hellborn, born here, from the union of two like yourself, lifeborn. We have no other incarnation before, and many believe we will have no incarnation after this one. I am a 5th generation of hellborn, as are most others here; I suppose that is why we all appear similar. We are happy to see you, because you are a Real being, one descended from the lofty planes of life to dwell in this place for all time, immortal and free. Beings like you created our town, created us. But there seem to be so few like you here, we rarely see them, so their presence is something to be celebrated."((Neat))"If thats what you would like to do, I will do it." The man-looking being says, smiling. He seems almost not to understand what the concept of a shop is.
John stands still and thinks for a moment. He turns away and pretends to be seeking things in his pockets, although he knows precisely where each item of his modest belongings is on him. It is rather clear now that this.. man... keeper doesn't grasp the concept of trade, so it isn't quite necessary to waste any of his valuable possessions on trade he foolishly (as it turned out) proposed. Finally, he comes up with a plan.
He relocates his flask from inner pocket of his jacket to the back pocket of his jeans, as if it was the point of his searching hustle. He pulls off his jacket (with all pockets empty now) and places it on one of the hangers, with all the other clothes he had seen earlier.
He smiles at the keeper for a moment, simultaneously trying to get a good look on him (if possible within moment, heh) and then proceeds to filling the vessels he got with water.
When that is done, he asks which way to junk shop.
Finally, he thanks the keeper and leaves the shop, then puts the water-filled vessels in the back of the car.
He sees that gorilla fellow is still there.
- Eeeeeyyyy.... buddy? You're still here? Keep an eye on those then while I go get some more stuff, okay? This is going to be our water and fuel supply, but now it's just water.
Okay, so I'm going to try this application, but I've got slightly less dumb ideas if this one gets nope'd.You can't reincarnate in close proximity. Thats kind of against the entire idea here since you're basically gaming the system and making your character immortal. The rest looks fine.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Xankarvo blinks. His evil overlord instincts sense an opportunity.
"So would you theoretically obey orders from a lifeborn?"
Xankarvo blinks. His evil overlord instincts sense an opportunity.
"So would you theoretically obey orders from a lifeborn?"
((Xan already had a post, actually. Amperzand just thought that he meant his character.))
Either myself or Irony: Accidentally hit self in nuts for comedic retribution against meta reasons
Whoops my bad
Xankarvo blinks. His evil overlord instincts sense an opportunity.
"So would you theoretically obey orders from a lifeborn?"
Either myself or Irony: Accidentally hit self in nuts for comedic retribution against meta reasons[4]
Whoops my bad
Get to the Hannity's, check out their stock without asking for anything.Hannity's is an older shop even then the general store, the only shop around here made of the same wood as the Forefather's graves. It has just one, relatively small display window, on which the name of the shop is painted:
Makes sense. Know how they created you, by chance?
((Oh right.Makes sense. Know how they created you, by chance?
((I believe that was answered))
"Makes sense. Know how they created you, by chance? I know you said union of two life born, but does that mean sex or something more exotic? And what's this tree thing hanging over the town?""The forms of our Forefathers were many and varied, so such labels lack the depth to explain the act of our conception for all of them. But sex is close enough for most. And these trees were grown here by our forefathers, relics of seeds and spawn brought from their homeland. The Great Tree," He gestures out towards the giant tree, "was planted when they settled and has grown here ever since. It, like ourselves, is a monument to the work of our forefathers and carries on in their stead. Originally, however, they ate the fruit that it grows, and used the seeds to create the forest around us. For them it was a tool, for us, it is something more important. Through it, we are still connected to them."
Question!
((Now to my action, a.k.a John is about to hit the Jackpot))You run over to the case and press your face against the glass. The firearms are mostly small things, pistols and revolvers, crude hand cannons, spring loaded razor disk launchers, chitter sprayers with hives so old that they're rusting, and spark launchers with chrome coatings discolored by heat. The things you don't recognize are mostly weapons clearly designed for bodies not congruent with your own. Shimmerblade gauntlets designed to be slipped over long tendrils, a racemous acid gland and bile duct, designed for transplant into a head several times larger then yours, and a device which appears to be designed to tear chunks off of something and hurl them away at great speed. It resembles a sort of sharpened ice cream scoop on a rotating gear. Not the sort of thing you'd like to strap on.
John approaches weapon rack and looks at the firearms displayed, and looks with even greater interest at these unfamiliar types of weapons.
He proceeds to the counter and greets the keeper, then asks her about what is it she has in her desk besides jewellery and coins.
((Noted! I'm back! I swear!))
"...I needed that," Golgon muttered, rising again. "If I might ask, what became of the Forefathers? We noticed their grave, and it looked quite foreboding.
On a somewhat different topic, we are travelers who have decided to seek out The First Heaven, or at least encounter interesting sights along the way. Do you have any advice that might be useful in that endeavor?
Oh, and finally: What can you tell me of the bone thieves? We encountered them. They were not friendly. We still have most of our bones. One of us could use a new arm."
Hopefully last words! I mean... you know what I meant!
Go put the stuff in the jeep, then go check out the general store.
((Nyartifacts detected))You head back to the case with the guns and find yourself a nice pistol. You grab a big, black, long barreled one thats been carefully engraved with all sorts of weird occult patterns and symbols, sigils carved into the handle, on the trigger, around the muzzle and even on the magazine. It's got a nice heft to it, and feels good in your hand, though the engraving is a bit scratchy on the palm. You bring the weapon back to the front desk and set it down in front of the clerk.
Pick the most non-rusted firearm designed to fire cartridges, pistol or revolver, and ask if there are cartridges for it. Then check out that orb. Ask if I can touch it, hold it in my hands. If I don't suffer any notable immediate effects, ask if the keeper is willing to give all of the requested items to me. If she asks for some sort of pay, offer two of my golden coins.
"Excellent! Let me fetch him for you."You head back to the jeep and attempt to grab the gorilla. We'll give him a bit to accept or deny this, but if he stays quiet, we'll have you bring him in. I know he was rather...unwilling to trust the locals recently.
We still have no-bone-arm-guy, right? Drag him back here if so. Preferably not by his no-bone arm.
"While he's getting the gorilla thing, two questions."Age and illness for the most part, though illness varies amongst the forms they took. I believe one rusted and fell apart, and another separated into constituent parts and those parts ran off in different directions."
How'd your founders die?
And where could I get firestarting materials - lighters, flamethrowers, stuff like that? I enjoy burning things."
Questionify!
John puts three golden coins on the counter without moving his sight from the sphere.
((Alright, that's fine.))There are a few "People" here, but they're not doing anything. They're kind of just sitting in their booths, staring straight ahead, eating nothing and doing nothing. Creepy.
Look around, take note of any other people in the diner.
"Excellent. I shall head there when our companion gets back."You do indeed have a map, though it's back in the car. Remember? I posted that? Mhm.
Wait until gorilla guy gets back with Golgon, then head to diner. If we have map of Slencville, consult that to find out where the diner is, if not ask mayor guy beforehand.
I meant the junk store.You join up with John as he haggles over the price of weapons and oddities.
"That plus one more will get you the gun and the ammo. How much more you got?"
Hyenakles gives the people(?) the ol' disconcerted side eye (the timeless classic!), and shudders involuntarily. Hoisting his deer shank over his shoulder, he picks a seat in clear view of the door.You sit down at a booth and wait. The people stare at you, clearly quite happy to see you, but no one moves. You wait a good 5 minutes and they just keep standing there. Even the waitress and the cooks in back are all peeking out, dressed in their 50's style get ups, grinning from ear hole to ear hole, but making no move to come and take your order. This is mildly unsettling.
Grab a booth, order some sort of meat. Rare, of course. People(?)-watch
((I'm just waiting for someone to hopefully show up at the diner, so I'll try to avoid complicated actions that involve much rolling.))
"That plus one more will get you the gun and the ammo. How much more you got?"
- I have a total of ten of those coins. So you have no idea whatsoever what this orb does?
John puts seven more coins on the counter and looks impatiently on the orb. Simultaneously he starts loading clips of his brand new pistol with bullets, but he does that carefully and thus rather slow.
((EDIT: I'll be leaving on 5th and I won't be back till 17th. I need an exit strategy. Preferably the kind that would put me back on waitlist. I have one in mind, but I'll wait till the next turn.))
Silence means consent. Drag that monkey in there to let the Major do with as he sees fit.You drag the gorilla back to the city hall and present his floppy arm to the mayor.
((Dammit me posting an action was a dream then))
Go check the map in the car and make my way to the diner.
Hyenakles clears his throat, and looks at the waiter. And then clears his throat again.You manage to get one of the waitresses' attention via waving of shanks and shouting but when you put in an order for steak she seems a bit perplexed. But she nods and heads off into the back, whispering things to the cooks.
"Hey, waiter? Somebody? I'd like to make an order."
Order that steak. If nobody comes to me, go to them. Shake my deer shank at them if I have to.
((Alright. While I'll be gone, I will trust my character to Irony and/or Xan, whoever is available when it's time to post action. Please don't kill my char and don't take his stuff while he's alive. Behave, don't waste bullets on strangers, don't break the orb - that might be dangerous, DON'T LOSE THE GODDAMN GUN AND CLIPS THEY'RE MY PRECIOUSssss.))
Oh, for the love of... How am I supposed to load these?
John puts on his leathery gloves - better to keep those on, as he was just harshly reminded. Hopefully he'll manage to load at least some cartridges before they cut through fingertips.
He keeps staring at the orb for a second, just standing there. Then he takes off one of his gloves and reaches for the orb with an ungloved hand, carefully touching it. If something notable happens that instance, take a mental note of that. If nothing of note happens after that, he puts the glove back on and starts loading bullets again, now with gloves on, trying to hold cartridges by the bullet rather than the case, if possible. Check if there are any markings on the bottom of cartridges.
These things done, John carefully takes the cartridge box, still in gloves (doesn't really matter if it is empty after loading bullets or not, that'll be handy later for putting a fire on) and puts it in his backpocket, maybe crumpling it a bit. He tucks the gun in his belt, ensuring it sits there tight, gets the orb and walks out the door, heading to the Town Hall, to consult with Xankarvo about this orb. While walking there, he keeps watching at it in his hands.
((Damn, there were so many discrepancies in my action. Must've been hard to see what I really mean behind all that gibberish. But everything turned out fine!))You push on one of the rods, but it does nothing. So you pull on it instead. You feel it move a bit, but it seems like you'd have to pull pretty damn hard to get it out. And it's not like it's stuck or attached, it's just like you're pulling on something extremely heavy instead.
John tries to push one hexagonal rod into the sphere, if that does nothing, he tries to pull it out, all on his way to the diner. Once in there, he speaks to Xan:
- Hey there! Xankarvo, is it? How'd it go in the Town Hall? Why is everyone acting funny?
Hiding the leg beneath his table, but not out of reach, Hyenakles attempts to look relatively at ease. He grips it with his right paw, taking some comfort in it. Relaxing a bit, he waves the other arm at the two newcomers.You tap the table with your hyena claws and wait, impatiently.
Calm. Remain calm. These are the first normal people, or at least believably abnormal people, you've seen all day. Don't blow this.
Wait for that steak, hope these relatively less creepy people sit near me. Remain alert, in case anything weird happens.
Oh, car person. The inhabitants of this town apparently aren't real people, and I'm actually not being racist. They're something called Hellborn.The first one to speak up is a cook.
Xankarvo walks up to the diner counter.
Do you have any supplies of alcohol or gasoline I could appropriate from you? Also lighters or sources of flame if any are available.
Conversationslize! Ignore the hyena dude for now, I'll talk when I get my stuff.
So long as it's flammable, I will happily take it.Both the Cook and the Waitress disappear for a bit but return with the promised goods. The cook's flamable substance takes the form of a cardboard box filled with about half a dozen bottles of alcohol, of varying kinds and varying levels of fullness. The Waitress rolls out what looks like a propane tank, but with a different type of nozzle on top. It's got a very obvious red flame sticker on it and bold text of "DANGER" Across the top.
John sits by the empty table, putting an orb in front of him and examining it, and talks back at Xan.[6]
- Got a lighter myself, but that's mine. Quite a lot of water is in the car, I'll make some of that into fuel. You can hop by the general store, they have matches. And the name's John.
Then he pushes the orb against the table with one hand and starts pulling out one of the rods with the other hand, putting considerable effort into it. If needed, push the orb against the floor, holding it with foot, and pull with both hands.
Excellent! Good. I will take them with me when I leave. My thanks and all that.
He goes up to the hyena dude.
Now that I've temporarily satisfied my pyromania, who are you? You're not hellborn, I can tell.
"Mayhaps they haven't. I and my companions, which includes him -" he points to John - 'have a way out of here, though you'd have to convince them to let you come along.
Maybe I could trade you for the gorilla - thing hurts my eyes."
Look around the junk shop, see how aware the shopkeeper is.Considering you're the only one in here, she's got her eyes fairly firmly glued to you, my friend. You see basically the same things that the other guy saw; lots and lots of seemingly random junk collected from who knows where across the infinite heavens, probably a lot of it ending up here through the wandering payments and tradings of men like yourself. You looking for anything in particular?
John spits out the oily blood and small chip of his own tooth. He gets back in his seat by the table and puts the rod in front of him, as well as the orb.The rod itself isn't very heavy, or at least it's not any heavier then you would assume a rod of this size would be. You'd guess...maybe 3 or 4 pounds. There is a hole in the orb, in the exact shape of the rod. You can't see anything in there, just darkness, even when you hold it up to the light fixture above the table. The rod itself is completely smooth and unmarked, lacking even scratches or what you would assume would be natural pitting or imperfections.
How heavy the rod is? Is there a hole in the orb where I took it from? Any sort of markings on the rod (haha, fat chance)?
Looks like I got myself a weird needle pad.
"Excellent! How might you go about that?" Golgon poked the great ape's cheek. "Also, he seems to have lost his taste for adventure. If he does not regain his former fire, would he be welcome and happy here?""We would have to replace his bones with a substitute, of course. And if he should wish to stay, he will be welcome here."
Medical and retirement questions!
"Anyway, you are presumably waiting for food? What do they offer here?"
Look around for menus.
Wait for steak some more.Eventually, the waitress comes out and sheepishly approaches you.
"You have anything in here you'd be willing to part with? Or is it more of a barter system?""Trade or pay." The woman says, tapping her desk with one finger. She seems a lot more on the ball then the last guy.
Look for anything that stands out to me, preferably something like a needle or shiv.
"Anyway, you are presumably waiting for food? What do they offer here?"There are a few menus on the table, all neatly laid out, but when you lift one up, it reveals a darker section of table under it, as though the menus have been sitting here for years, untouched.
Look around for menus.
"Well, we'd be grateful if you could do that then. I fear the rest of us should be moving on, though. It was an honor to visit your town, and quite pleasant to not be feasted upon on sight. Farewell, and best of luck to you and your people."You walk outside, leaving the town hall behind. It's gotten quite late and the sun, that distant flaming infant, is barely visible on the horizon. You're feeling somewhat tired and hungry, and your back hurts from driving for hours. You look around; you can see two of your companions over in the diner, but the third is hiding somewhere.
Leave Magilla in a good home, begin rounding up our group to get moving again.
"Follow me.
Thank you all for the flammable materials! May some of you help me carry them to my vehicle?"
Go over to the car, hopefully get some of the Hellborn to help me carry/cart my flammable stuff over to the jeep.
"You can't get the food cooking machine to work. Am I the only sentient being in this diner?" Hyenakles turns to the others. "I'm leaving, before their stupidity rubs off on me. Where'd you say that car was?"You both return to the jeep, rolling the canister of flammable liquid over and then hefting it into the trunk. It takes a good bit of effort and time, but you manage to get it done just as the sun, if it can be called that, is setting. As you stand beside the jeep, panting and rubbing old grease and ashes from the barrel off your hands, you look out at the last shafts of light filtering through the forest. And you notice something. A distant sound; low and organic, like rushing water or crashing waves.
Exit the diner angrily, hopefully find the car. Take my deer shank with me.
"Well then, I may be back once I find something to trade. Unless you'd be interested in a broken needle I killed a Bone Thief with.""Has it got their blood on it still?" The woman asks, squinting at you.
Back to the jeep if she isn't interested.
"Nope nope fuck that we're not going travelling tonight get inside now"You sprint back into the town hall, where the mayor is looking at your former gorilla friend's arm. He seems rather surprised to see you back.
Run into the town hall
"No, I had to clean it off. Driver was complaining about getting blood stains on the interior."
Stay in the shop, keep chatting.
"Wizard instincts teach you to be cautious. What was that noise, would you know? Sounded like rushing water.""I am not sure, I don't hear it." The mayor says, looking around, confused.
Question!
Follow Xan into the town hall.You run into the town hall. That sound of rushing water is becoming more distinct. More like the flapping of countless tiny wings.
Hyenakles addresses the mayor. "Storm's brewing. Is there somewhere dry we can cower?"
Head to the diner, see if they have actual food.You walk into the diner and find everyone there rather...frightened looking. They're wide eyed and glancing around, some hiding under their tables and others standing in the middle of the room, looking like they're trying to decide between running, hiding, or grabbing the nearest blunt object and holding their ground.
Inquire about the noises while I'm there.
"What would you trade for a syringe of Lifeborn blood?""Less. But some." She says, but at the same time she turns her head and cocks an earhole towards the door, listening.
Staying inside.
You don't - is there a safe room or anything. A closet. Something.The mayor seems too confused to help so you quickly vault the secretary's desk and curl up in a ball under it.
Inquire about secure locations such as a panic room, a janitor's closet or something like that and rapidly take cover in one of them. Failing that, take cover under the nearest table.
Find somewhere to hide, keep the deer shank ready in case I need to defend myself.You join xan under the desk and cover your head with the deer shank.
Go stay at the far back end of the building, away from doors or windows.You run into the back most area of the store and hide behind the biggest, sturdiest table full of stuff.
((What number am I in the waitlist?))10-ish, depends if we count the people currently trying to get a spot in the jeep.
Keep hiding for a fee minutes. If nothing happens, peek out and see if the shopkeeper is okay. If she isnt, grab some loot.
Stay under the desk, but watch Xankarvo to see what happens.
Keep hiding for several minutes, listening for a change in sound or anything. If not, cautiously crawl out from under the desk and caaaarrefully look outside the window. Don't actually put any part of my body outside.
<shit fuck fuckity fucker fuck>
Alright hyena guy, get ready to kill something.
Please tell me I have some measure of things I could use to set things on fire. A lighter or somesuch. If not, ready the closest weapon-like thing I have, ie my pen. Get ready to murder things.
Also check to see what that thing what hit the desk was. It was the mayor's corpse, isn't it?
Actually let hyena guy do his thing. Still ready any weapons I have though.
Hyenakles grabs Xankaevo by the arm, and shakes his head. He motions to the deer shank.
Quietly poke the husk with the deer leg, and jiggle it around a bit. Be ready to hunt the fuck out of anything that comes near, unless of course that would get me killed.
"What's going on?"You peek out. The shop is still safe for the moment but the shop keeper is crawling over to you. She slithers over to your hiding place and shoves the syringe you were offering her back into your hands.
Peek out of my hiding spot to see how the shopkeeper and the merchandise are doing.
((Alright, I'll do that. I have that feeling that despite the fact that I have means for self-defence, my survival chances are somewhat tiny.))You grab your stuff and army crawl over to counter. You quickly hop it and fall prone on the other side. You retrieve your pistol and hold it in your right hand, the sharp rod in your left, and slowly peek out over the top of the counter. Out in the street there are several...you're not sure what the hell they are. Very tall albino fellows with 3 arms and no face. They seem to be moving via sort of phasing and teleporting around, appearing in front of random people on the street, jamming one of their hands into the poor passerby's head and tearing their entire skeleton out in one perfectly clean piece.
- What the hell is that no... Oh God.
As the disturbing noises break out outside the diner, John grabs his things and gets behind the counter, preferably nearer to the kitchen door. With the sharp rod in his left hand and pistol in the right, he peaks out of the counter to look what's going on behind the big windows of the diner.
Ho-lee craaap
Toss the rod in my bag and search for my nitro fuel can with my left hand, while watching around carefully with pistol in the right. Then take a gulp to sharpen senses and empower self a little for a short while, and rush towards car, jump in driver's seat, start it and get the fuck out of Slenceville, heading North down Hellway 888
((I've got super-bad feeling about this. Bone thieves must be coming from south, but it seems they move rather slow. Assuming they started invasion immediately after the treaty was broken by the party via escaping the tourist trap, it took them quite a while to go through town. If they arrived with the noises, we're fucked.))
Oh for FUCK'S sake I thought we escaped you fuckers!
Dive out the other side of the desk, the way hyena man went. Then run fast as I can for the nearest exit to the building, away from the bone thieves. Get to the fucking jeep right stat now.
I could've sworn I posted my actions days ago. Sorry for holding people up.
Run as fast as my wonky legs can carry me, all the way to the jeep. Emitting scream-cackles as I go.
Get outside and get to the damn jeep asap. Stab anything hostile that gets in my way via liberal use of needles.John takes the spike, which is at least 2 feet long I'll remind you, and sort of wedges it into his bag just well enough that it will hold for a short sprint. He takes a gulp of nitro fuel and bounces on his toes for a few seconds, psyching himself up, before vaulting the counter, sprinting through the diner, shoulder checking the door open and charging over to the jeep. He whips his bag into the back seat and jumps into the divers seat, switching the pistol to his left hand as he starts up the jeep. The engine chugs for a moment before roaring into action and the tires peel out against the blacktop for an instant and then gain traction. John lays on the horn as the car starts to move and shouts, nigh unintelligibly, for his comrades to join him, lest he leave them behind. His version, however, included a great deal more swearing.
Could someone remind me of the waitlist?
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Corsair
Name: Haast
Soul: Was king of all grizzly bears
Incarnation: Has now become a fire breathing emperor penguin. Still talks like a bear though.
What You're good at:
-Pecking people
-Using his flame-breath
-Catching fish
What you're bad at:
-Any form of complex fine manipulation, like keypads and automatic firearms
Your Hopes: To find and eat the ultimate fish.
Your Fears: A world without fish
What you need to survive: Fish/seafood , preferably flame grilled. Can survive without fish for a week but then must gorge himself
What's in your pockets: A fish, specifically salmon
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Harry Baldman
Name: Mr. Bird
Soul: Montgomery Merriwether Munroe, the virtually unknown butler/comfort killer/butler (he's more of a butler than a comfort killer, you see), a joyfully amoral individual who offered his services to a great many rich widows in his life, and only killed, like, three of them (a record low among his peers) to get some money out of it when he didn't have any other ideas. He died at the age of 89 in his sleep after consuming an almost legendary amount of prescription medicine and hard liquor (after about six hours of... extreme exertion for someone his age), surrounded on his deathbed by much younger, better-looking women in a high-class establishment of considerable ill repute. They inherited a considerable portion of his estate, as outlined in his will written earlier that week.
Incarnation: Mr. Bird looks almost exactly like a bearded vulture, to be perfectly honest, except at the end of his wings one can see small, clawed fingers that lead one to suspect he may secretly be some kind of dinosaur, disregarding the obvious fact that birds are, in fact, dinosaurs. For some reason he looks very expensive.
What you're good at: flying, extracting nutrients from tough bones, high altitude survival (physiologically speaking - if that's not specific enough, let's say resistance to oxygen deprivation in thinner than average air).
What you're bad at: blending in or looking inconspicuous, unless it's in a zoo.
Your Hopes: to chew on the bones of a dead god and extract their wonderful marrow, to soar to the highest mountains and to check if he can perhaps sire a brood in this strange afterlife. There has to be another bearded vulture around here somewhere, right? You may notice that Mr. Munroe has taken a great liking to his new form.
Your Fears: being old and useless, finding nothing in his search for greater thrills, having to butle again for some old hag until she kicks off or, ugh, he has to poison her for money.
What you need to survive: at least some bones with their marrow left untouched by other carrion eaters, but any old meat is probably fine. Water requirements are minimal.
What's in your pockets: he's got some bones he just broke open and then ate whole. They were his last good bones (a product of rather fine room service, he might add). He could probably produce them within the next day or so if he were appropriately motivated. He hasn't really got any pockets, though, though the option of putting some on his body is becoming increasingly appealing.
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Pancaek
Name: Flamengo John
Soul: John was just a party animal, a man who really really loved to party. No nightclub was safe from him on friday night, baby.
Incarnation:A fully articulate mannequin. Male model, plain wood.
What You're good at: Dancing
What you're bad at: Being sneaky. It's all about being seen, baby!
Your Hopes: My own personal heaven is a never ending party.
Your Fears: Being unable to move.
What you need to survive: A new set of clothes every so often. Being seen in the same outfit too many times isn't good for you spiritual health, baby!
What's in your pockets: Aviator sunglasses, pack of cigs, swirly straw.
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Toaster
Name: Dave. Just Dave.
Soul: A sailor from late 1600s Earth. He was saving up to emigrate to this New World he had heard so much about, but got drunk and fell off the boat late one night shortly after leaving port off the coast of Spain. As such, he's been here a while, and had to incarnate again several times.
Incarnation: Currently he's a chubby dude with no hair anywhere, and odd purple tattoos where the hair on his head should be. He also has patchy markings elsewhere to replace hair, as if someone was bored when making his physical manifestation.
What You're Good At: Tying ropes, as befitting a sailor. Excellent sea legs, so can balance on anything moving.
What You're Bad At: Resisting a drink... or many of the similar intoxicants available. Responsible for at least half of his "deaths" besides his first one.
Your Hopes: Dave would really just like to find a nice island paradise where he could settle down and drink fancy rum all day. Not that cheap headache in a bottle crap- the good stuff that nobility gets.
Your Fears: Dave always believed in sea monsters, and nothing he's seen here has convinced him otherwise. He's drowned once and really didn't care for it. And tentacles still give him the willies.
What you need to survive: He's human. You know the drill.
What's in your pockets: A flathead screwdriver.
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Fillipk
Name: Rocky
Soul: a rock from the Rocky Mountains, specifically a large boulder near the peak
Incarnation: a round rock about the size of a bowling ball, can roll on his own power but has no arms or legs, has a mouth and can speak though, it's voice is deep and rumbly, like the earth.
What You're Good At: being heavy, being round, bowling
What You're bad at: moving up stairs, rock and roll music
Your Hopes: to get to the peak of the tallest mountain and be one of its rocks
Your Fears: Falling and breaking apart (it's how he died)
What You Need To Survive: Earth, he needs to touch the ground at least once a day
What Is In Your Pockets: pockets? What are these things called pockets
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Wolfkit
Soul: A folding pocket knife that broke
Incarnation: A fox
Good at: Biting, Stabbing
Bad at: Self control, First aid
Wants: To kill the gods
Afraid of: Being damaged again
Inventory: A knife blade on a collar
Needs: To injure people
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Egan
Name: HurHuum-HurRumm
Soul: A cyborg pop singer by the name 'Yellow Ones' from the year 2378. She was kidnapped and murdered by a crazed fan.
Incarnation: A hovering glass sphere. It pulses with an internal light and contains a human brain. The sphere is capable of emitting a sound like humming but cannot speak. it can't see and instead uses echolocation. as well, it can use a weak telekinetic force, just enough to lift itself and some small objects.
What You're good at: Singing.
What you're bad at: Combat and heavy lifting.
Your Hopes: To return to a normal life with normal people, or at the least to stop reincarnating and return to the quantum flux from which everything flows.
Your Fears: Immortality. to be trapped in a helpless body and left forever. To be stuck in a braincase with no connection to the outside world. She read "I have no mouth and I must scream" and had nightmares for weeks.
What you need to survive: The sphere is powered by sound. if it goes for longer then about two days without being exposed to loud noises, it will begin to lose power. Shards or pieces of glass can be used to repair scratches and cracks in the sphere.
What's in it's pocketses: A pencil and notepad. The pencil needs sharpening and the notepad has only 12 pages left.
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Yoink
Name: Hairy Dave.
Soul: Ratical the small, brownish-coloured pet rat.
Thought he was lucky to escape the hell of that pet store cage, where his dozens of siblings would scramble over each other fighting for the food given to them by the Hand of Their God, slurping water from the dreadfully inconvenient pipe sticking through the bars, and being terrorized by the looming faces of human children leering at them.
If only he'd known his fate was to be owned by a pair of the most evil little brats ever to be allowed a pet, he might have ended it there.
Poor Ratical was, apart from his somewhat amusing name, treated most poorly indeed. In the few weeks from when he was purchased to when he went down in the septic ocean aboard the S.S. toilet paper, he was tormented mostly daily by the brother-sister pair he belonged to. Swung about by the tail, poked with toothpicks, dangled above their (also rather mistreated) pet cat, painted with facepaint/marker pens... you name it, he suffered it.
Incarnation: A large, brutish and hairy human. Hulking shoulders, wild eyes beneath a mop of hair, large teeth that occasionally flash through a beard. Seems to be male, but it's hard to tell through all the long, greasy brownish hair. Basically a proto-sasquatch. Wears nothing but a tattered blue denim vest festooned with safety pins and fabric patches bearing various logos and designs.
What You're good at: Chewing through things with his big-ass teeth, detecting things via scent and performing acrobatic feats unexpected from creatures of his size.
What you're bad at: Remaining calm under pressure, speaking in coherent sentences, driving motor vehicles.
Your Hopes: Basically, he came to party down. And possibly breed like a proverbial rodent. Oh and eat a shitton of food, preferably cheese (because he always wondered why the rodents in cartoons were so damn obsessed with the stuff. It must be good, right?) and/or human babies.
Your Fears: Human children, especially (but not only) ones larger than himself. Loud noises.
What you need to survive: Food and drink. Boring and mundane, but alas.
What's in your pockets: A still-boxed Action Man figurine, fully poseable and packaged with a large and varied assortment of accessories. Also half a chocolate bar and a chipped plastic guitar pick.
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Wipeout1024
Name: Anna Windstrom
Soul: Overbearing pageant mom, who finally got her comeuppance.
Anna, as a young child wanted to be a beauty queen, but her mother said she was too ugly to become one. Fueled by this, she instead later forced her daughter to become one, and was extremely controlling. However, she died at 45, in a case of somewhat karmic revenge, as her daughter killed her, in a fit of rage.
Incarnation: A middle-aged woman, who has bleached blonde hair. Her face has also been heavily been altered through plastic surgery, and most of her body has been too. She wears a cardigan and a fancy undershirt, jeans, and expensive high heels. She is also wearing diamond earrings.
What You're good at:
1. Leadership- Constantly bossing around her daughter, has given her experience at taking charge of others, even if her leadership style tends to be dictatorial.
2. Manipulation- She is quite good at emotionally manipulating others, to get them to do her bidding.
3. Hiding
What you're bad at: She is basically a Megalomaniac, so she nearly has to be constantly in control, or she will get angry.
Your Hopes: She hopes to become famous, for anything. She wants to be known as a great person, even if she probably actually isn't.
Your Fears: She is afraid of having no control, not being able to control others, and basically, being powerless.
What you need to survive: She needs food and drink, but she can also feed on the crushed dreams of others.
What's in your pockets: She has her phone, and make-up.
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The Froggy Ninja
Name: Bec
Soul: Becquerel
Incarnation: GCat
What You're good at: Teleporting, being a good dog! (the good dog is me!)
What you're bad at: Not getting mind controlled by psychic wimpy peasants.
Your Hopes: Chase the cats! Haz yums! Find Jade! Get belly rubs!
Your Fears: Bluh Bluh huge fish, glowing frogs.
What you need to survive: Meat and/or radioactive materials. (I assume that they have similar diets. Plus even if they don't Bec's a big ol' dummy dumb and wouldn't realize it.)
What's in your pockets: Couch
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AoshimaMichio
Name: Ryan.
Soul: Three week old baby who was slaughtered and eaten by his slightly insane mother shortly after nuclear fallout.
Incarnation: Baby Deathclaw. Its claws work better for stabbing than slashing.
What You're good at: Convince people of being innocent, because, you know, innocent baby? Stabbing because DEATHCLAW!
What you're bad at: Comprehending anything complex because still a baby. Tends to break things in his hands because a fucking DEATHCLAW!
Your Hopes: To experience everything humanity has to offer.
Your Fears: Mothers. Insane people. Nukes.
What you need to survive: MEAT!
What's in your pockets: Someone's torn off arm, including sleek wrist watch and sleeve.
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"Mind if I borrow that gun? It'll be hard to shoot and drive."
((Are we assuming the bone vampires got the gorilla guy?))Well, you wanna go back into that town to look?
If any of the bone theives get too close, set them on fire by any means necessary that don't damage myself, the meatshields with me, or the car.Yeah, you got your arm bones back. Not sure what you're gonna do with them, since they won't just go back into your arm. Oh well, a trophy at least.
Also check whether I got my arm bones thanks to Golgon's brave sacrifice.
"Mind if I borrow that gun? It'll be hard to shoot and drive."
If given the gun, shoot Bone thieves in range. If they get too close, stab them with the biggest needle I have, like that one in that one guy's bag that he pulled out of that sphere.
- Get this thing outta here or we are crashing into something![4]
((Action movies logic GO!))
Send car drifting sideways to make the thing lose balance and fall off the car. If it does fall off the car, shoot it until it's magazine is empty or it's obviously dead.
"Mind if I hang on to this spike?"
"I've lost the bones in one of my arms, so that's something. Gonna have to get that fixed somewhere."As I've said before:
PW, do I have the bones from my arm since Golgon tried to toss them to me, or are they missing and I'm gonna have to rob a skeleton?
If any of the bone theives get too close, set them on fire by any means necessary that don't damage myself, the meatshields with me, or the car.Yeah, you got your arm bones back. Not sure what you're gonna do with them, since they won't just go back into your arm. Oh well, a trophy at least.
Also check whether I got my arm bones thanks to Golgon's brave sacrifice.
"I'm fine. No wounds. Mind if I hang on to this spike?"We'll say it does.
Find and check the map.
((PW, does this giant needle count for my 'using needles' skill?))
((That went remarkably well))You turn on the headlights and continue on until you notice something in the distance, barely illuminated by the lights. It looks like a wall of fog or clouds. It's sitting perfectly still and stretching off side to side and straight up like a giant barrier.
- Yeah baby! And stay there, creepy three-handed fucks! - John flips off the town of Slenceville they left behind, second hand on the wheel - You guys alright back there?
Drive forward. Turn on the lights if possible.
- I don't really know. Let us pull over before driving into it. Now, Xankarvo, can you give me some cloth from your robe...[1]
Pull over. Pull another rod from the sphere, make some gas in a bottle,wrap it up with some cloth, soak cloth into gas, make torchlet Xan handle torchmaking. Sip some gas.
"Hey now, if you want to start a fire that's my job. Let me do it, I'm guaranteed better than you at it even with only one working arm."A regrowing robe would be very useful. Too bad you don't have one. At this point you're just moving slowly toward a miniskirt.
Do the torchmaking thingso I can feel useful. Give him a bit of cloth, though. Consider the usefulness of a robe that regrew itself when torn.
Look around to make sure nothing sneaks up on us.You keep watch from the back of the jeep, sitting on top of the roll cage.
Hyenakles sighs. "Alright. Hold this."You take the torch from Xan and walk over to the wall of fog. The fog is impenetrably thick; you can't see anything through it and the light of the torch illuminates only the outer layer. You wave the torch through the fog and it offers no resistance but doesn't disperse. Doesn't damage or in any way distort or mess up the torch either though. Hmm.
*passes deer leg to Xan
Approach the barrier, and try to discern exactly what it is we're looking at. Be ready to bolt if anything happens.
- Oh, fuck. Can I have just one more piece of cloth, please?You manage to slow the bleeding from uncontrolled torrent to lazy ooze.
If it's really broken, this calls for a doctor within a week or else.
Get some water and wash the nose area. Then attempt to stop bleeding by pressing cloth against the nose.
- Oh, fuck. Can I have just one more piece of cloth, please?You manage to slow the bleeding from uncontrolled torrent to lazy ooze.
If it's really broken, this calls for a doctor within a week or else.
Get some water and wash the nose area. Then attempt to stop bleeding by pressing cloth against the nose.
Speaking of lazy ooze ANYONE ELSE WANNA POST AN ACTION?!
That's silly: the smart move is to shove the injured guy in first and let him find out.
That's silly: the smart move is to shove the injured guy in first and let him find out.
That's silly: the smart move is to shove the injured guy in first and let him find out.
That settles it, then! All idlers: perform Giant Swing on Xankarvo, lobbing him straight into the fog. Xankarvo in this case would be relegated to saying "wheeee".
That's silly: the smart move is to shove the injured guy in first and let him find out.
That settles it, then! All idlers: perform Giant Swing on Xankarvo, lobbing him straight into the fog. Xankarvo in this case would be relegated to saying "wheeee".
- That's... one way to pick a volunteer. Let's still vote for staying here overnight. All in favour of traversing the fog now, say "I".(I think you mean "say Aye")
John stands in his place, silently waiting for response.
(I think you mean "say Aye")
XAN WISHES TO ENTER THE FOG TONIGHT.YES.
Agree to John's plan.
((Edit: That is, to wait until day to wander off into the fog.))
"Might as well wait for daybreak. Although those bone thieves might still be coming this way."
XAN WISHES TO ENTER THE FOG TONIGHT.
Agree to John's plan.
((Edit: That is, to wait until day to wander off into the fog.))"Might as well wait for daybreak. Although those bone thieves might still be coming this way."XAN WISHES TO ENTER THE FOG TONIGHT.
John nods and adjusts the cloth stopping the blood.
- Alright, that makes three of us for waiting till daybreak against Xan, who wants to go now. So waiting it is then. I'll stand on watch for an hour or two more, in case something happens, then I'll wake someone up to change me on my post. I'd recommend to you all to have a good night's sleep, who knows what next day will bring us.
Something felt tricky last time I did my Gas Midas thing. Like it is unstable. That would be bad. Should check that out.
John shuts the engine down, and sits on the hood, staring at the sky. Also, try and fiddle with a jerry can of water, try turning it into gas in small portions, using a bottle I picked in the general store.
Sleep but be on guard. Hug the spike like a teddy bear.
"Gah. I suppose you lot have a point - I just mislike the thought of the bone thieves catching up with us, if they're still pursuing us."[5]
Sleep but be on guard.
Search for a fresh source of water.
This... sucks. That is dangerous. If others find out, they might kick me out. And if they do, I'll be stranded out here, without ability to sustain life in me. If they ask, I used this water for maintenance works on this jeep during the night.You open the container and sniff the contents. It smells sort of like diesel fuel, but a little less pungent. Kerosene maybe? You're not quite sure if it is edible to you.
See what is that flammable substance Xan claimed from the diner. If it's gasoline, drink some. Then get in the driver's seat and drive towards certain death in an indefinite while.
"Right, no point in sticking around here wasting food and water. Let's go through the fog."Everyone else gets some food and water from xan's sack and the other containers of water in the back. This basically empties their supply of food, but there's still some water left.
Obtain food out of my food sack and drink out of ... I dunno, whatever water we have.
Then forcefully indicate that we should go through the damn fog.
What did I see in there by the way? Just fogginess?
Share food around if requested.
If piecewise was very evil, he would have the fog turn into a cloud of gasoline, since Comrade touched it while passing through... Unless it's made out of some strange liquid not affected by his powers of transmutation or it's not dense enough for the effect to spread.
((Ah, it got changed? Didn't notice that for some reason.))
((Ah, it got changed? Didn't notice that for some reason.))
((Um, no. Don't think so. But if it did, that would be real bad.))
((No, no, I meant your ability.))
((No, no, I meant your ability.))
((PW rolls every time I use it. I guess making a character self-sustainable is also on "you'd-better-not-to" list. But I kinda got away with it. Well, I did the thing I wanted to exactly how I wanted it, once - rolled a 5. That is how I got into the current party.))
"And you were all so damn worried about what might happen and now we've wasted food and drink. Fine, let's just keep going and see if there's any actual supplies along the way or if we're gonna starve or die of thirst. I know for certain I'm not trusting the yellow rain or whatever this is."You collect some of the rain. It doesn't really smell like much, but it feels and looks oily.
Collect some of the yellow rain in an empty container and try to determine what it is/does. Without drinking it myself - offer it around to other people if they wanna try it.
Also determine whether it's flammable.
Keep an eye out for any of those pesky ghosts.You see no bone thieves around for the moment.
"It wasn't a waste. I doubt any of us ate since we left the hotel yesterday."
Look around for landmarks. Like a hotel.
If piecewise was very evil, he would have the fog turn into a cloud of gasoline, since Comrade touched it while passing through... Unless it's made out of some strange liquid not affected by his powers of transmutation or it's not dense enough for the effect to spread.
((I do not think this fog is made of liquid particles, it is more of a border between realms made of inconceivable substance. Sort of. I think. And given my powers were nerfed to unstable, this could end real bad.))
If there is a road ahead, drive along. If there is no road, try to find some dry place where the party and the jeep can fit in.
"Yeah, I'd rather stay in the car. Pull straws?"Stay in the vehicle.
Scout out the bridge.
-snip-
-snip-Spoiler: So this is how he would look like, basically. Correct? (click to show/hide)
Though I'm not sure if I'd be allowed to start with a cane?
- Whew. Now, that we are here, let's inquire what exactly is "here" that we came to. I'll just walk my legs, they are all tense after all that driving, and then we'll be going.[1]
Get my gun from the bag and get a little water from our supply pile (no more than a third of that empty soda bottle we had). Walk a few meters away from the group. Try to turn it into gas again, preferably so that nobody except me would see the result. Take a look around, see where the road is heading.
Scan the horizon for signs of civilization.You see nothing up here at this level, mostly because the road heads right into the cloud layer, which obscures anything more distant then a few feet. Down below, however, you can see more of those strange geometric structures.
Cast my gaze around for anything that looks edible and also look at what the car guy's doing with the water.You search around the area for anything edible. The only thing you find is a very strange plant, a sort of weedy looking thing with perfectly translucent flesh. It's almost as though it's made of glass, though it clearly isn't. When you touch it, it seems very soft and fragile, as though it were made of sculpted sand and might collapse into a pile of dust at any moment.
"On an unrelated note, this plant is fucking cool. Do we have a jar or something, because I want it."
((I doodled up a page (http://einsteinianroulette.wikia.com/wiki/The_Infinite_Heavens) with inventories, statuses and a waitlist. See if it's all right.))
((Maybe include appearance as well?))
((How about list of fallen/people left behind?))
Practice my stabbing of things by stabbing the air with the giant spike until we get this show on the road.Wahhhh aht aht aht ahhhh! YHEAA!
((I missed the word, almost. He almost blew his hands off.Almost as in the situation he was in could have resulted in it, not in terms of damage sustained. Like when someone narrowly avoids an accident and we say they almost died. Doesn't mean they're actually horribly but not mortally injured, just that they could have died had circumstances been different.
PW- would you clarify? Just how operational are John's hands? Can he still use the gun?))
- That's the spirit! That wouldn't be bad at all! Please do that! I'll handle myself and see if someone else really should drive.[5]
John tucks gun in his belt as soon as Hyenakles stops talking.
If any shards are stuck in me, carefully remove them. Rip T-shirt into ribbons, apply them as bandages. Then see if I can steer the wheel and change shifts without worsening the injuries.
Carefully dig up the plant and put it in a jar. Put some dirt in there first to make sure it dont die and such.Heh, those ER Instincts are strong.
((I doodled up a page (http://einsteinianroulette.wikia.com/wiki/The_Infinite_Heavens) with inventories, statuses and a waitlist. See if it's all right.))Ahhh, thank you very much. Could prove very useful.
Slink off and hunt something. Preferably something small, not anything that will definitely kill me. Don't wander too far off; there's a chance that they're going to try to abandon me here.You slink around the immediate area, not crossing back over the bridge nor heading up into the clouds. Despite very careful stalking and searching, you can't find anything alive up here. Not even little bugs or vermin or anything like that. It's so barren that you can't help but find it a little...unsettling.
((@piecewiseWill do!
Could you pm me when I enter the game?))
Drive forward down the road, which is up to the clouds in our case.You drive forward, taking the road upward and toward the clouds. You don't get very far until you hear a strange screeching noise. You look up to see sparks flying from the jeep's roll cage as though someone was taking an angle grinder to it. It seems to be happening just at the cloud line.
((Guys, a bit of a question here, since I'm confused - does our car has solid roof and windows or is it more open top like?))
((If they don't come back, I'd assume they got to the other end just fine and you can drive the jeep through.))
((no, no. that means it's extra safe!))
((I wouldn't assume so if they scream a lot and then don't come back though. But we'll just see how it goes.))
"Just ... hang on a second."You're in a JEEP.
Get out the van and from the farthest distance I can, poke the cloud with my armbone torch. Is it solid? If not, get back in the van and cover my nose and mouth with my robe just in case.
"I'm gonna try something."
Go poke a cloud with my spike to see if it has any effect.
Poke the clouds with my deer shank.Since you're all doing the same thing:
As you look ahead, at the mountains, you realize that it's not that the mountain peaks are vanishing into the clouds, rather that the mountains end in abrupt plateaus at the cloud line.((So here's an explanation to that.))
((Screaming is nature's way of telling you "You should run now that the monster is busy killing your friends".))((I wouldn't assume so if they scream a lot and then don't come back though. But we'll just see how it goes.))((no, no. that means it's extra safe!))
You look around: The road continues on, straight and branching. It seems to skirt just under the cloudline, low enough that you could probably crawl along it, but it doesn't deviate from it's straight path anywhere along the visible length of it. You look back the other way and notice that, while the road itself doesn't go anywhere else, there is what appears to be a very VERY rough road or path branching off from it just after the bridge. Taking the jeep down it would be nuts, but it would be walkable, at the very least.As you look ahead, at the mountains, you realize that it's not that the mountain peaks are vanishing into the clouds, rather that the mountains end in abrupt plateaus at the cloud line.((So here's an explanation to that.))
- Oh. This can't be good. Guys, remember when we saw mountains ending in plateaus just at the cloud level? Well, here you have the same thing, I guess. So, we are not going through the clouds. In fact, let us get back to bridge and not stay up here, so we can think our route over without abrasive clouds anywhere near us.
While we are up here, take a look around, see if the road has any detours we might have passed without noticing, and is there any way that would lead us down rather than up from where we came.
"I resent your nonpermitted shortening of my name - I am Xankarvo, not ... not Xan. Not Xan. But I appreciate your suggestion that I stay here, so I will forgive it."- Noted, Xankarvo.
"Works for me."- Thanks man.
"I resent your nonpermitted shortening of my name - I am Xankarvo, not ... not Xan. Not Xan. But I appreciate your suggestion that I stay here, so I will forgive it."X grumbles about having his name shortened and then sits down to make Molotov out of the various booze and flammable liquids they have around. [5] He makes 4 brand spanking new Molotovs.
Stick with the jeep, prepare a few Molotov cocktails but don't light them. Unless you can't do that, in which case don't and just sorta chill.
"Works for me."You practice walking like...well..a nonchalant idiot. [5] You are very good at it!
Guard the jeep. Maybe practice my pimp walk using the spike as a cane.
- Got it. Okay guys, see ya in a while I hope.You carefully stow your gear and hold your pistol in one hand before walking off down the road. It takes a while of the road slowly ascending before the clouds are at head level, forcing you to duck. Then a bit longer till you're bent over. Then hands and knees, then army crawling along on your belly. The pace is excruciatingly slow and the entire thing is, well, frighteningly claustrophobic thanks to the ceiling of grinding mist just above your head. Luckily, the clouds don't seem to be getting any lower now, or maybe the road just stopped ascending. In any case, the pace is slow, but the road is clear. It will just take hours to get anywhere.
Go ahead and try crawling under the cloud. Slowly. Carefully. Get my gun with me, mind it while moving, so it won't get sanded or I won't get a kick from it touching the cloud.
"That is the short version; my full name has far more cackles and epithets. It would be taxing for your human throats.
Don't get yourselves killed while I'm gone."
Wander down the path, see what I can see. Take note of natural cover, and try not to make too much noise.
I don't see bold! I think that means Xanman wants to stick his head in the clouds! maybe it doesn't affect flesh or something. Science is needed.Kick waitlist in face and groin repeatedly
Giving waitlisted people the ability to murder non-responsive players was a great idea. Need to do that more often.Sigging
You should make it so if I post before them they don't get to change it.Ya wanna make this petty?
Crawl ahead for about an hour and a half or two hours more. If nothing appears on my way, start crawling back.It's hard to tell time here, lost in a fog bank, so you keep a count of seconds as best you can while slowly grinding your chest off on the pavement. After about an hour and a half, you finally notice that the fog seems to either be lifting higher off the ground, or that the road is slowly descending. It seems like you're coming out of the cloudline, but you can't see whats ahead because of the downward angle.
Down the path I go.You carefully step onto the first metal rung and grit your teeth as it bends slightly from your weight.
Pack all the food and whatever water we have left into one container for each, if I can. Grab my plant.
((Better than doing nothing, and it stops the waitlisters from doing things.))Pack all the food and whatever water we have left into one container for each, if I can. Grab my plant.
((Getting ready to go beforehand?))
((Better than doing nothing, and it stops the waitlisters from doing things.))
Fifty five hundred seventy eight, fifty five hundred seventy nine, fifty five hundred eighty... oh, it finally goes down! Just a bit more and I'll see where am I... I hope.You continue forward; but as you go you begin to hear something. A sort of distant clacking and low groaning noise. Something like a slow rockslide combined with whale song. You eventually reach a point where the clouds are high enough for you to stand while just ducking slightly. The road continues, down the side of the mountain and across several more bridges that you can see, out into what looks like a plain of very odd looking hills. You squint and then realize that the hills are in fact enormous faces, an expanse of albino heads packed closely together. They're moving, slowly, their eyes opening and closing, mouths working, teeth the size of boulders grinding and gnashing. They seem to be talking, or maybe screaming? Their voices are so low that you can barely hear them, but you feel the vibrations through your feet. There is a tremendous smell of BO and acidity in the air. The sky is the same yellowish haze as before but there are things in it. Eyes, each of which must be miles wide, drift slowly through the clouds, looking down on the screaming heads. As you stand there, looking for where the road is among the heads, something parts the clouds and descends from the sky several miles away. An arm, a human looking arm, with a fist the size of one of the giant heads, emerges from the sky. It holds in place for a moment before punching downward into the heads. It slams into one of them and the head bursts like an overripe grape, spraying red blood up in a slow fountain. A few seconds later, the sound and shockwave of the hit reaches you and knocks you backwards, off your feet.
Keep going forward until I can stand under the cloud layer. Note surroundings.
Pack all the food and whatever water we have left into one container for each, if I can. Grab my plant.You get the stuff packed up as best you can. Having one arm doesn't make it terribly easy, but you make due.
Sneak up closer to the white things, observe them.You sneak a little closer, hard to do considering your yellowish fur stands out really well against the gray stone and green plants. The white things appear to be beings wearing white clothing; their shapes and sizes are quite varied. However, there are others among those varied shapes that seem uniform; perhaps hellborn? They look like a race of lupine creatures, vaguely similar to yourself but quite tall.
Have a cigarette away from any flammable substances like gasoline.I'll remind you that you're in an area where it is lightly raining a flammable substance.
What kind of legs do these things have? Could I outrun them if they got angry?You can't really tell from this distance, but they're bipedal at least.
That's enough. We're not going here. Nuh-uh.You calmly stand up, turn around, and head back the way you came while muttering "Nope".
Stand up and head back in a calm manner. Do not stop until I'm back at jeep.
"I take it we're not going under the clouds?"
"Please, tell me the details.
...
Wait, why do you need the gas? I handle the flammable things."
Continue to observe the creatures from a safe distance for a while.You watch the critters from a distance. They wander around and behave in what you would consider to be a mostly human fashion. There appear to be what might be rats or other small creatures inhabiting the area but the bigger creatures pay them no mind. You don't see anything that would declare these creatures to be hostile. No heads on pikes, at the very least.
Instead of having a cigarette, I'll just stand around. Maybe think about what sort of person this particular hell was made for.You haven't a fucking clue. Normally You'd suppose there would be some sort of logic to these sorts of things. Poetic irony. But you can't think of a sin which this would warrant.
Oh, you need gas to live. You never mentioned that. Is that why you blew up a bunch of our water?[/glow]
Again stand around doing nothing. Actually maybe start brainstorming ways to get my arm back. Or maybe how to make an arm out of fire, that'd be cool.Hmm. Well you'd need to find something to either replace the arm or to heal it. Those bones ain't coming back on their own. The easiest would probably be to find some kind of prosthetic and just get this one removed. Maybe find something with a bit of power to it? Hm.
Don't actually act on these ideas.
[2]Oh, you need gas to live. You never mentioned that. Is that why you blew up a bunch of our water?[/glow]
- Apparently, my powers allow me to turn the aquatic component of any liquid into gasoline. Other components, however, are unaffected. Whatever this stuff that was raining upon us, must've got into the bottle and interfered with either process of transformation or the finished product, resulting in explosion. I believe that's what happened.
Man, I wish it was that rather what it actually is.
Since nobody got that tube I asked about, go up to the hood, open it, and locate the fuel pump. There must be some sort of tube or pipe leading to it. Look for it.
Since we aren't using the jeep, are there some fuzzy dice or something I can snag from it as a souvenir? If so, snag them.Well, there's no fuzzy dice, but there is a little segmented worm thing with a human mouth that is hanging from the rear view mirror. You remember that it talked a few times, so you're not entirely sure what it is...you grab it anyways.
Approach the things, attempt to engage them in conversation from a distance.You stand up and walk slowly towards the structures with your hands raised, shouting in your friendliest tone. Eventually, a few of the beings on the outer edge of the settlement notice you. They don't respond, but they seem to be coming down to see you.
"Hey-ho, gents! Car broke down a ways back. Would you, by chance, have a place for me to stay the night?"
Emperor penguins can fly?
((I believe not. But, if you mean Harry's appearance, he specified in his character sheet he resembles a bearded vulture. You might be confusing him with Corsair's character, whom we left outside of Slenceville. Then again, maybe you meant none of that.))
((So where am I now pw?))I would assume that you'd want to come down to meet The hyena. You're up in that village, with a view of him at least.
Dammit. Where the hell do they put this thing.[6]
See if I can get under the car safely. If so, try to track the pipes from the gas tank.
Check to see if the mouth worm talks again.Check how?
Back away from the car just in case John blows up the car or some shit.
Hmm. Do we have any spare containers that aren't holding anything at the moment? What are they made of?
"Easy fellas. Can you talk? I'm not going to hurt you."Whether or not you want to hit them with a deer shank is up to you, but here they are.
As they approach, look them over. Have my deer shank at the ready, just in case.
Flamengo John, living mannequin in a garish pink outfit, walks up to Hyena man while snapping his fingers to some unheard beat.
"Yo, baby! What brings you to this dreadful piece of hell?"
From somewhere reasonably high up on the carved-out village a silhouette approaches. Looks like giant predatory bird, or maybe some kind of tiny feathered dragon?
Fly closer and land not far from this new hyena-like visitor. Cycle through dialects until I get this:
"Good afternoon, fine fellow! What might you be looking for in this here equally fine town?"
((Umm... by "track" I meant look for them in the same way I looked for the fuel pump under the hood, but from underneath the car. But okay, let's roll with what I got. Just tell me if there is gas leaking from there somewhere now, that's it all torn apart.))I know, you got a 6. You overshot and since you were doing this as part of a process to try and find a tube to remove, you succeeded on finding the tube and removed it! Along with a bunch of other stuff.
I know, you got a 6. You overshot and since you were doing this as part of a process to try and find a tube to remove, you succeeded on finding the tube and removed it! Along with a bunch of other stuff.((Okay. As I said, I'll roll with what I've got.))
"You don't exactly look like natives yourselves."
You sit down and start chugging from the gas tank. You're not certain all of this is gasoline...oh well. You drain as much of it as you can drink in one setting. Which is about a gallon.I know, you got a 6. You overshot and since you were doing this as part of a process to try and find a tube to remove, you succeeded on finding the tube and removed it! Along with a bunch of other stuff.((Okay. As I said, I'll roll with what I've got.))
Get that tube and get over to the gas tank latch. Open it, and shove the tube into opening. Enjoy my exotic Jeep cocktail [suck the gas from the tank through the tube].
"Ah forget it, the cloud world probably dissolve any containers anyway.
...
Hmm."
Get a pebble off the ground and gently toss it at the cloud. Does it dissolve?
See if the thing talks by staring at it intensely.You hold the thing up by the string it was tied to the mirror with and stare at it. After about 30 seconds it asks "What?" in a voice much deeper then you'd expect from something that size.
"Alright. First thing's first-" he glances at the Lupines "...what are those things?"
Ugh. I hope I don't ruin my engine with that stuff. I wonder how much more could we make on a fuel like that. Or maybe this damn thing is designed for that sort of stuff...You get whats left in the tank into your jerry can and then juryrig a strap to it using the wires you have. You can only get one arm through the strap, but it should at least let the can hang from your shoulder and make it less of a hassle to carry.
Empty the rest of the stuff in the tank into the jerry can using the tube. This should work like corresponding vessels once the flow emerges from the tube due to my suction. When done, see if I can strap that jerry can to my back with wires I got.
((PTW. Will make a character later. Is there a waitlist, or do we just get plopped in?))There's a rather lengthy waitlist, but I do my best to keep freeing up spots when they give me the chance.
((Maybe add that waitlist to the OP? And yeah, I expected as much.))Waitlist is on this page: http://einsteinianroulette.wikia.com/wiki/The_Infinite_Heavens (http://einsteinianroulette.wikia.com/wiki/The_Infinite_Heavens)
You get whats left in the tank into your jerry can and then juryrig a strap to it using the wires you have. You can only get one arm through the strap, but it should at least let the can hang from your shoulder and make it less of a hassle to carry.
"If I could infuse that into a weapon, that'd be so badass. Too bad it won't, really."How ya gonna carry them mr. one arm?
Welp, time to load up with some of the supplies - as much as I can carry without impeding my movement.
go meet the hyenaYou join the others talking to the hyena; including the slowly walking Lupine fellows who have just arrived.
You sit down in the driver seat and recline it till you are almost laying flat. You close your eyes and try to sleep.You get whats left in the tank into your jerry can and then juryrig a strap to it using the wires you have. You can only get one arm through the strap, but it should at least let the can hang from your shoulder and make it less of a hassle to carry.
John, frowns upon his creation. It is clear from his facial expression he expected this to be something more handy. He sighs and tries to put the construction on. It isn't exactly comfortable. But hey, still better than what he had started with.
Take a nap in the driver's seat until Hyenakles returns.
Spoiler: Comrade Doodles: the Party (click to show/hide)
"Say, would either of you be interested in joining me... on a quest of sorts?"
((I'll try to speed this up, sorry guys.))
I actually like it overall. Hyenakle's face is a bit thin, and you were pretty... generous with the muscle allocation on John. Maybe we should stick it on the wiki page?
Dunno? That's why I specified not very much stuff.It has maybe a half dozen leaves and a single flower. Adorable. You grab the container it's in with your one good hand and manage to slap together a flimsy but functional sling sorta deal out of garbage bags and your own cloak sleeve. You rest your dead arm in the sling and grab a small jug of water that you tie to your belt. There's no food left in the vehicle, so you stuff the moltovs into the inner pockets of your robe. Thats about the best you can do.
Ah, just grab my plant. Does it have many leaves?
Load up on some of the supplies, as much as I can carry without impeding my movement. Because I have two arms.You grab a few bottles of booze and empty some fuel into any empty bottles that are laying around. You then stick all of it inside a garbage bag, tie it closed and stick it in your mouth. Your massive maw is easily big enough to hold the stuff, though it will make talking rather hard. At least your hands will be free.
You sit down in the driver seat and recline it till you are almost laying flat. You close your eyes and try to sleep.
"Say, would either of you be interested in joining me... on a quest of sorts?"
((I'll try to speed this up, sorry guys.))
"I certainly would. This place was wearing on me since about... I dunno how long it's been, but since about that long. What's the quest?"
Hyenakles frowns. "That's... You'll find out later. Anyone else interested? I'm taking all the expen- all the help I can get."
"Perfect."
Lead the motley crew back to the car. Give them a brief description of our supplies and our party, emphasizing my distrust of John.
Fly after my new friend the hyena and listen carefully.
"Hm! So this John is some form of shyster, eh? A con artist? Or a mere tosspot? Someone to be careful of, you say?"
"Fabulous, baby! I would love to get out of this dreary place. Lead the way, mon amigo!"I could be mean and force a roll for climbing back up the stairway there and maybe push someone off....but nah. Bigger deaths await.
Follow Hyena man, dance a little jig of joy
"Well, I'm carrying about all I can. Hopefully our hyena friend comes back soon with an actual direction for us to go in."Sure, what page should I link exactly?
Wait for Hyenakles to show up.
Say PW, could you be so kind as to put a link to the wiki page for this in the opening post? Just to make it easier to track everything.
((Man, that picture is awesome, Comrade.))
"Alright, I'm back, and I picked up a few stragglers. Hope you don't mind.""Eh, I don't really care. Was there a way down? Apparently the other way under the clouds wasn't a place all too survivable."
"Mr. Bird at your service, fine individuals," the vulture introduces himself, taking a bow, his red-and-yellow eyes possessing an enterprising look. "I and the other fellow have been staying here, largely on account of few other options, for quite some time, and your friend managed to intrigue us with tales of some sort of quest that you are undertaking."
He looks at the jeep.
"I also notice that you seem to have a motor vehicle in your possession - quite fascinating really. Haven't seen one of those in... however long it's been, actually."
- Nice to meet ya, I'm John. And this vehicle ain't going nowhere. We came up here in it, but it looks like we are going on foot from here, there is no road for it ahead of us, - he sighs - that was one good jeep.
"They call me Flamengo John, baby! It's very nice to meet you, mister hercules! I can already see that we're going to have lots of fun on this trip!"
"A very good observation - the natives here use boats instead. They are very prized for their utility, and they do not part with them easily," Mr. Bird explains. "Not that I really need boats to move around, but I thought it inadvisable to fly off anywhere in particular until I had some equally mobile friends, for reasons I am sure you can understand."
- Yes, I see. Now you say they use boats and do not part with them easily. Maybe you know something about what goes as a value among them as well? Food? Gold? Fuel?
"You see, boats are precious because it's hard to find anything to build them with. You'd want something unusual and practical, methinks. I'd tell you what they eat, but to be honest I've never thought about it at particular length."
- Hm. Okay, I'll think about it. What also concerns me, is where do they sail in their boats? Is there a river down there, not just a lake?
You grab your stuff, including the map."Mr. Bird at your service, fine individuals," the vulture introduces himself, taking a bow, his red-and-yellow eyes possessing an enterprising look. "I and the other fellow have been staying here, largely on account of few other options, for quite some time, and your friend managed to intrigue us with tales of some sort of quest that you are undertaking."
He looks at the jeep.
"I also notice that you seem to have a motor vehicle in your possession - quite fascinating really. Haven't seen one of those in... however long it's been, actually."
- Nice to meet ya, I'm John. And this vehicle ain't going nowhere. We came up here in it, but it looks like we are going on foot from here, there is no road for it ahead of us, - he sighs - that was one good jeep.
Now, I believe Hyenakles here has mentioned there was some source of water down that road, and those other canine fellas who have a sort of an encampment there. Encampments typically have more than one road leading to them, so what I suggest now, is we go down there, get some water, the go right across their territory with our best poker faces on, and journey on.
Get my bag o'stuff, toss the map from glovebox into it too. Put that modified jerry can behind my back.
((I'll just assume that Hyenakles told us in a few sentences everything he has seen))
Flamengo does a little spin, and then points at John.They Call Me Cuban Pete, I'm The King Of The Rumba Beat (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0g-4ClI2HvQ)
"They call me Flamengo John, baby! It's very nice to meet you, mister hercules! I can already see that we're going to have lots of fun on this trip!"
Mostly plant matter but they also sometimes hunt the strange monkey things that the group saw when driving up the mountain. They farm the plants that grow along the waterline. Omnivorous.- Yes, I see. Now you say they use boats and do not part with them easily. Maybe you know something about what goes as a value among them as well? Food? Gold? Fuel?
"You see, boats are precious because it's hard to find anything to build them with. You'd want something unusual and practical, methinks. I'd tell you what they eat, but to be honest I've never thought about it at particular length."
What do the natives eat?
"Sounds like a strange quest indeed. Oh, and I just remembered: the natives are omnivorous, subsisting on a diet of farmed local plants and mountainous monkey things. Not the best of menus, but I do get a bone or two out of it now and then, which is all I truly need to be perfectly honest."
"Sounds like a strange quest indeed. Oh, and I just remembered: the natives are omnivorous, subsisting on a diet of farmed local plants and mountainous monkey things. Not the best of menus, but I do get a bone or two out of it now and then, which is all I truly need to be perfectly honest."
- Strange, that's right. But I'm here for the trip itself rather than for the end of it. And it is also good to know locals aren't active predators, - he turns to the others - wanna get moving, people?
Get going down the rocky road
"Sure, why not. Beats standing around here for the rest of our afterlives." Tarmac states before popping the garbage bag back into his mouth.
Put garbage bag back in mouth. Follow other people who know which way we're going. Be extremely cautious of any stairs or shoddy paths.
"I do believe we've gathered all we can here, and more bodies never really were an objection to me so long as we can get some more food and water, considering we're almost out of the stuff. Let's go then, assuming we're totally ready."
Get going carefully along the path with the rest of the party. Be really goddamn careful or get someone to help me down or something.
"Oh, I just need bones to sustain me. No expenditure of food or water!"
Fly after my fine friends back to where I was before, in a return much more satisfying than ever before.
((Added you there))Spoiler: Waitlist (click to show/hide)
See if the crevice gets wider several feet higher above our heads. We could give Tarmac a lift and let him pass the narrow place above our heads and then help him down.((Added you there))Spoiler: Waitlist (click to show/hide)
Curse his girth!
Hero tower!
Tarmac spits the bag out so he can talk. "Alright. This is bullshit. I have an idea. Somebody hold my bag."I should point out that if this works, you'll be rolling straight towards a large drop. Even if you get rolling you'll need to stop rolling before you fall to your...probably not death. Probably just mangling.
Give somebody the bag. Roll through the crevice.
If this mannequin keeps being this useful, I'll make him into kindling.
Assemble hero tower no. 2 by the end of the crevice to hold the rolling Tarmac. Two bottom people hold at their best, top one catches. Ask Hyenakles and Flamengo for help again. We'll take care of Tarmac's bag later.
samba over to the end of the end of the crevice and help out with hero tower no.2We need one moreeeeeee, since hyenakles seems to have decided to laugh rather then help. Can't blame him, it's what I usually do.
We need one moreeeeeee, since hyenakles seems to have decided to laugh rather then help. Can't blame him, it's what I usually do.
Or you guys could try this with just two people.
This yellow fat fuck..."GRAR BARK" *waves flippers*
"Various bird people we have, could you feasibly lift Tarmac and fly him down?"
"GRAR BARK" *waves flippers*
continue down stairs
Hell really needs to review its accessibility guidelines.
"Could we not put big guy on his side and carry him over our heads. Boogie down the stairs like we're moving a table?"
((You're #11 on the waitlist.))
Waitlister action: Birdman should airlift fatman to the bottom. Be sure to show off some and do aerial stunts.(http://i.imgur.com/Q1TEHaC.png)
Bird and Pacman: Drown.((But that Mr. Bird was a pretty chill dude so far! And he hadn't actually fallen into the water, he just dropped Tarmac.))
Hyenakles, lead the way to the canine people.
Hyenakles, lead the way to the canine people.
Hyenakles leads the way to the canine people.
"Do they speak, to your knowledge, Mr. Bird?"
- On a second thought, let's replenish our water supply before we move along - fill empty vessels, that is. Um, penguin fella? Could you fetch us some fish, probably? I'll look around and get back down to you people.
Look around and see if there is a road we can follow. Ignore non-responsive lupine fellas.
"Close enough," says Mr. Bird, flying off to join the others.You speak to the two lupine fellows, explaining about the new people as best you can in a broken version of their language. They stare, look at one another, and then carefully walk over to John. They speak to him in their throaty, growling language (http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Byrdlxngps), which you can only weakly imitate. Your physiology differs too greatly to speak it as they do. That hyena fellow might be able to though."Do they speak, to your knowledge, Mr. Bird?"
"I'm fairly sure they have a language, good sir. I have spent much time attempting to decipher it, in fact. Oh, if only I had Champollion's good fortune and talent, but alas! We cannot all be so prodigiously gifted!"
Mr. Bird approaches the natives and introduces these new people in terms they would understand, going by a short list of vague prejudices based on appearance and the cut of their respective jibs.
- On a second thought, let's replenish our water supply before we move along - fill empty vessels, that is. Um, penguin fella? Could you fetch us some fish, probably? I'll look around and get back down to you people.The stone cut path here continues on into the cliff-side village itself and seems to head straight through, deeper into the canyon. You can see several small ships, something like oversized, but stubby kayaks, moored on the water. They appear to be made of wood but are polished smooth and very dark, almost the color of volcanic sand. Oddly, despite what looks like a fairly prevalent amount of fish, there are no visible nets on the boats. Hm
Look around and see if there is a road we can follow. Ignore non-responsive lupine fellas.
Fish? Euchh. I wish we could just eat the zebra bird.
"I'll be back in a moment."
Survey the surrounding area for potentially edible creatures.
((So am I dead? I didn't say anything saying I died.))Not yet.
Get out of the water. Remove bag from mouth if it is weighing me down. Or drop that spike if I really have to. Or stab the spike into the shore to use as leverage to get out. Or maybe float downstream if the village is that way. Or use the spike or various needles to defend myself if attacked.
- My gun? Bought it back in Slenceville. Thankfully, haven't used it so far. I have also bought this, - John pulls the Weighty Sphere of Rods from his bag - Not like my purchases were useful so far. Or wait are they asking about my gun as if they knew what it does and just wondered where I got one or as if they have never seen one before and wonder what this thing does?
Corsair action: Drown whilst being eaten by angry giant fish.FTFY
- My gun? Bought it back in Slenceville. Thankfully, haven't used it so far. I have also bought this, - John pulls the Weighty Sphere of Rods from his bag - Not like my purchases were useful so far. Or wait are they asking about my gun as if they knew what it does and just wondered where I got one or as if they have never seen one before and wonder what this thing does?
Talkity talk with help of Mr. Bird
"They're asking to see it. I think they recognize it or something like it."- My gun? Bought it back in Slenceville. Thankfully, haven't used it so far. I have also bought this, - John pulls the Weighty Sphere of Rods from his bag - Not like my purchases were useful so far. Or wait are they asking about my gun as if they knew what it does and just wondered where I got one or as if they have never seen one before and wonder what this thing does?
Interpret. Maybe show Hyenakles some basic pointers in monster language if he's standing by.
do some background dancing while listening to the conversationChick chicky boom chick chicky boom!
Pick several of each color of berry, and return to the others.You pick a few of each color berry. You don't have a container to hold anything in, so you just keep them in your hands. There's not much in the way of food here unfortunately, just a snack for one person as it is. Unless you're just trying to get a sampling of each so you can choose which kind to get in larger quantities later.
Show the jackal or whatever people my plant. Ask them if they know much about it through Mr. Bird hopefully translating. Or hyenakles if he spontaneously learns the language.They seem to be completely focused on John and ignore your question. Mr.Bird, however, says that it was probably in the process of being "forgotten" which is why it's transparent and frail.
"I think I swallowed too much water to be properly pissed off. That sucked."You join the others, dragging your bag and still coughing up water.
Carry the stuff over to the others.
Look for interesting stuff.
((That's the point, since this thing always seems to update while I'm at work. :p))Look for interesting stuff.
((That's... vague. But keeps you out of "non-responsive" list, eh?))
Drop the magazine out of the gun, check the the chamber, and pass the empty gun. Keep magazine.You carefully empty the gun of all shells and extend it, handle first, towards the nearest Lupine fellow. He takes it from you; you notice that he doesn't have a humanoid hand, it's more like a paw with extended fingers. He examines it carefully before carefully handing it back and saying something.
- I'm not sure I should pass a loaded gun to strangers. I hope they understand, - John says to Mr. Bird, looking on lupine creatures.
"Yes, quite. They might know what your gun is, my fine friend. Maybe they have one that's just like it! Or at least similar, yes?"
Default to interpreting as needed.
If the penguin returns:You offer some berries to tarmac. Considering the size of his mouth it's kind of like offering raisins to a whale.
Hyenakles strides past the zebra-bird, giving it a pat on the head and popping a red berry in its mouth. "Good bird."
Otherwise:
Hyenakles waves to Tarmac, and offers him some red berries. "Hey, glad you made it! You hungry?"
Observe what the lupines do/say about the gun.They seem very interested by the grip, but they're careful only to touch it very lightly. They are regarding it as some sort of curiosity more then something worthy of awe.
"In the process of being forgotten, eh? Well, I'm not gonna let that happen to you ... plant. I'll think of an official species name later. Wherever Xankarvo goes, you go."
Xankarvo has adopted Forgotten Plant!
Examine the berries. Do any of them look like cherries or white pellets? Take a few from Hyenakles, but don't eat them.He gave you 5 kinds; one kinda looks like a raspberry, another is sort of egg shaped with a rubbery green exterior, the next is brownish with a lattice of purple lines running randomly across it and a distinct firm feeling, the fourth is remarkably similar to a blueberry and the last is a red tube with a crinkly, dry exterior.
I shall name it Xlantanos!
For ease of access, it's nickname shall be Xant, or Xant the Plant.
To the hyena people:
"What are you and how long have your people lived here? Also, do you have any capability to fix my hand or provide a useable prosthetic?"
Accept the gun and load it back, carefully."They say that those are...Failures? Huh. In any case hey say that the water here runs under them, and that it flows out past them."
Powered by blood? Well this explains the weird cartridges. And I should probably be more careful while handling it.
- Thank you for the advice.
John thinks a little then speaks again:
- Over that mountain, I climbed under the fog level and saw... strange things on the other side. Faces, eyes, hands... Do you know anything about that?
((back uni work can pile up a bit sometimes))
Fish in the river for fish distribute among party evenly, follow party if they run off somewhere
If we have any empty jars yet, fill one with an assortment of berries.I think all of our containers are filled with plants, booze or water. OR some mix thereof.
- So where can we go from here? Do you have any contacts with other sentient creatures around here? Are there any?
Keep talking.
"What a marvelous cultural exchange this is turning out to be."
Interpret! Continue to interpret! Be the translator parrot!
Look around for any river-worthy boatsThere are several further into the village, along the waterway.
"Hmm. Any particular reason for god's hatred of them? Also which one, there are many.""The one here, and they think he just hates this entire heaven and is either trying to destroy it or remake it. They're not certain, but their god isn't a nice one."
talkings
- Ooookay. Thank you very much for the information. We'll hang around a bit I guess, but we won't be a nuisance.You go back to the water's edge and join up with everyone else.
John gets back to the bank of the lake, where others (presumably) are, and calls the party meeting of a sort for further action planning.
Join up with the others.As do you.
As an aside:
"Can I see one of those jars of fuel?"
Double check to make sure none of the berry plants are in evenly spaced straight lines that I may or may not be tempted to wakka wakka through. Then regroup with the others.And you too. And no, the berries aren't in neat even rows with white pellets between them. Not even a cherry in there. How disappointing.
"One last thing - what does forgetting mean? I understand the meaning of it, but forgotten by what? Also does the god of this place reside somewhere or is it one of the omnipresent types?"
Talk, then go over and group up.
((NOTE: THEY CALLED THIS A HEAVEN AND NOT A HELL))Isn't that a matter of perspective though? Like the joke about the masochist in hell?
- Huh? I dumped most of it in this jerry can, if you mean the fuel from the jeep.You let him have a look.
Let Hyenakles have a look.
truffle shuffle my way over to the water's edge for some group talkYou join up with the group.
"One last thing - what does forgetting mean? I understand the meaning of it, but forgotten by what? Also does the god of this place reside somewhere or is it one of the omnipresent types?"
Talk, then go over and group up.
"They say that god himself is trying to forget it. And anything that goes up too high. That is where this god resides, up in the clouds.""One last thing - what does forgetting mean? I understand the meaning of it, but forgotten by what? Also does the god of this place reside somewhere or is it one of the omnipresent types?"
Talk, then go over and group up.
Interpret, then join the others.
"I think I've got some bottles of fuel in the bag, too. Shame we didn't bring the motor. Might have been able to jury rig something if we could get a boat."You've got a few bottles of fuel and booze, yep. Also your cigs and lighter are fine. Water tight bag that you held in your mouth.
Check bag for fuel bottles. Also, check my cigarettes and lighter! Are they okay? If not, melodramatically fall to my knees and shout "Nooo!" to the skies.
"Pass me a jar, will you?"I don't think we have empty jars.
Talky, get a jar.
Dive straight in/b]You dive straight into the water swim around, trying to catch some of the fish things.
"He says you shouldn't do that. The spirits of the dead reside in those waters.""One last thing - what does forgetting mean? I understand the meaning of it, but forgotten by what? Also does the god of this place reside somewhere or is it one of the omnipresent types?"
Talk, then go over and group up.
Interpret, then join the others.
((You can always go kill god.))It's both awesome AND will result in the wait list getting shorter. Win win!
Xan: propose killing god.And leading the lupine creatures to a glorious
"I wonder if the locals have a map of the Steppe. Preferably with notes on the locations of any obstacles that can't handle my girth."
((Until that action is either declined by Xan or approved by PW, John's not reacting to that. Should it be an actual action, John would just add another option to the poll, hoping nobody would vote for that.))((Why not? I may have made that suggestion as a joke, but it's actually viable if you work on it.
-snip-
((Sorry, my internet's been out all day.))
Xan decides to ask one more question of the locals.
"What is the god capable of? What are his powers and abilities?"
More talkings rather than outright proposing to kill God ... yet.
"I wonder if the locals have a map of the Steppe. Preferably with notes on the locations of any obstacles that can't handle my girth."You empty one of the bottles, by letting john drink it, and give it to Hyenakles.
+1 Steppe, if we get a map. Also, empty one of the fuel bottles and give it to Hyenakles.
((Sorry, my internet's been out all day.))
Xan decides to ask one more question of the locals.
"What is the god capable of? What are his powers and abilities?"
More talkings rather than outright proposing to kill God ... yet.
Help Xan out with the language barrier.
Also remain blissfully ambivalent on future travel destinations.
((Sorry, my internet's been out all day.))
Xan decides to ask one more question of the locals.
"What is the god capable of? What are his powers and abilities?"
More talkings rather than outright proposing to kill God ... yet.
If I am allowed to keep the hunted fish then barbecue one a bit away from everyone and scoff it, otherwise barbecue and scoff my own salmon
Barbecue how? You got fire? Or things to burn?
"If he hates you so much have you never thought of killing him?"
Propose diecide.
Ah well I guess he does that then.Barbecue how? You got fire? Or things to burn?
((According to his charsheet he has fire breath))
"If he hates you so much have you never thought of killing him?"
Propose diecide.
"If he hates you so much have you never thought of killing him?"
Propose diecide.
Continue to interpret while making clear that I do not claim to share the opinions of the parties I am interpreting for.
Follow leader in dancing across these steppes
-snip-((I am absolutely fine with this))
"I suppose I'll come back to kill him later, then. Or maybe never. Good fortune in ... being forgotten, I suppose."
"Now then, that penguin interests me..."
Follow party, contemplate ways in which I could make the penguin into a prosthetic and have my arm breathe fire on command.
Dump the bottle in the river, move upstream, and more thoroughly wash it out. Fill it with an assortment of berries. Then, follow the others.You fill a bottle with as many berries as you can.
((We aren't losing anything trying to repair the jeep. Hopefully.))Well, you're losing the parts you took from it, since it isn't gonna run without those.
Attempt to fix jeep back to working condition.
Examine my plant. Does it seem any more solid since I 'adopted' it? Try focusing my attention solely on it and see if that does anything in particular at all.It looks about the same.
Well, you're losing the parts you took from it, since it isn't gonna run without those.
Well, you're losing the parts you took from it, since it isn't gonna run without those.
((Fair enough.))
Pour, like, three quarters of what I drained from the fuel tank back into it. Start up the engine, urge others to get in. Get going.
Ride in back with the penguin, focus on making the plant realer.[4]
"I've no particular preference."[2]
Continue remembering the plant!
((This will probably have consequences))
>John: Do a barrel roll!((I'll just forward it to Flamengo John))
...Try to remember the plant into something badass.
check out the glove compartment.Hmm...I dunno if there's anything in there anymore. The map used to be in there, but someone grabbed that.
I've got the Mad Max game preloading on steam as we speak actually.>John: Do a barrel roll!((I'll just forward it to Flamengo John))
Ride towards the Failures. This can only go well.
Cue the music (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Odwd1v6p-CU)
Pity. Does this thing have a radio? If yes, fiddle with it to find a groovy tune. If not, just enjoy the ride.It has a radio and there's also a box of cds sitting by the feet of the person in shotgun. You turn on the radio for the moment. Music starts playing (https://youtu.be/sJEzRA_FbFo). Huh, not exactly what you'd expect out here.
Closely examine the penguin to see how it breathes fire. Don't let it do so on me.
>Corsair: show the Mage how I breath fire by breathing fire on him.
Put the mouth worm thing back in its spot.You reach up and carefully rehang the little worm thing. The Jeep suddenly roars and surges forward faster then before, and the strange engine stutters from before seem to be gone.
If anyone sets anything on fire, give them a nice whack on the head with my deer shank and tell them to cut it out.You wave the shank threateningly at the penguin.
Take the shorter route to the Failures, and, presumably, Hellway. If it lies through the ruins, so be it.
((Noooooooo I just needed two deaths :( ))They're charging head long into the valley of failures. Don't worry, death will come.
- Sorry, Engine Spirit. It was not the best idea. Won't do that again.You carry the jerry can back around and pour it into the tank. It's not a lot, but it should keep you going for a while. Need to gather more of that flammable rain like Xan suggested, might actually work.
We resupplied on water back by the lake, so I'll get us some more fuel tomorrow.
Pour everything left in jerry can back to the fuel tank, get one of the fuel bottles and drink it, pour the rest into fuel tank as well. Get into driver's seat and get some sleep.
"Say! That deer shank is starting to look bloody good. Mind if I have a bone or two out of it, Hyenakles?"
Hopefully get some bones to tide me over for a few days.
"Hmm. We may be able to fill the jeep with this rain, it's flammable.You eat some of the berries and drink some of the booze. Well. Maybe a healthy dose of booze. You fall into the trunk and pass out.
Wait, no one gathered any but this small amount I have. Fuck."
Do we have food or water left? I forget. If we do, cripples eat the remaining supplies first. If anyone attacks me, set them on fire with the penguin or one of my molotovs.
((Bird ain't getting my swagass armtorch))
((The tip of it, I still have the majority of the bone left.))
"You can have a nibble, but that's it."
Offer Mr. Bird a bite, but no more. Brood.
Leave all the available vessels (jerry can and a few bottles, I believe) open under skies. Hope for some flammable rain. Continue relaxing and falling asleep occasionally.Just leaving them open, no rain collection system? Alright, we can do that. Won't get you much but it's better than nothing.
((Our wiki page seems to have up-to-date info on our assets now. If not, go on and correct it.))
((Bird ain't getting my swagass armtorch))We'll get there. That was basically moonshine you chugged.
Sleep the booze off with the swiftness of a thousand frat boys. That is, quickly.
"Bones! Bones for the poor! It's like they say, if you've got bones on hand, you probably don't need them!"You fly off in search of food, while trying not to get very far from the jeep. Just a quick look around. It's hard to do in the dark.
Continue asking for bones while presumably keeping watch. Birds don't sleep much, right? Maybe see if there's any bones lying around on the steppe. Surely there can't be such a well-maintained grassland without something grazing and dying in it, right?
Have some food and drink.Booooze and berries!
"Grar GRAR grar grar grar"Fish eaten
fall asleep after eating a fish
"You can have a nibble, but that's it."
Offer Mr. Bird a bite, but no more. Brood.
"Nibbles aren't quite how I eat, good sir. Don't have teeth, you see. I'm more of a 'gobble it all down and let the old digestive tract sort it all out' kind of bird. Half a bone, perhaps? You don't even need to break it - I'm an ossifrage, savvy?"
Fly a bit higher, see if I can spot the jeep from afar. Just keep on searching.
I am a mannequin, so I'm not sure if I need sleep. If I do, sleep some. If I don't, just kick back and relax, help to keep watch.
Hyenakles nudges John. And then kicks him ever so slightly.
"Hey, don't fall asleep quite yet. Or if you have, hurry up and wake up for a moment."
...
"Okay, you awake? Alright, this is important. We're in the middle of nowhere, in an open-top jeep without any fuel. Somebody needs to keep guard, preferably with that gun of yours. Definitely with that gun of yours. Xankarvo's only got the one good arm, and Flamengo John, well, is himself; the yellow guy is probably not to be trusted with firearms, seeing as how we tried to abandon him a ways back, and I don't know that the birds have the requisite appendages or intellect for the job. That leaves you and me. I'll keep first watch, and we can switch off after a few hours. Sound fair?"
Planning
"Hokey Dokey. Gentlemen, time to wake up. Something big is stomping around out there and it might be coming this way. The other fellow said we should hide. Isn't this exciting?"Flamenco John wakes everyone who wasn't already woken up by the sound. Basically, this is just Xan who he has to shake for a while and ply with promises of explosives and lusty women.
Help everyone wake up.
Hyenakles grabs John's gun, and frantically checks to see that it's loaded. As he pops open his door, he turns to Flamengo John."Well that was fun guys, been a great time, love you all but, um..."
"I should be right back, go ahead and wake them up and get ready to run. We need somewhere to hide, somewhere that isn't the jeep. Let's try not to die."
Take John's gun and the deer leg, and find shelter; it can be a ditch, an overhang, anything we could reasonably cower in or behind. Unless it's gonna get me killed, proceed to run back to the jeep, to get the others, before I duck and cover.
Keep looking! Must locate either bones or traveling schmuck band. Bones of traveling schmuck band are starting to sound okay also.You hear the same giant footsteps as well; and given thats your only point of reference in this inky blackness, you decide to head towards it. Knowing those guys, it's probably near them. You fly in until you can see something. It's massive, too big for you to see all of it in the dark at once. It has a vaguely gorilla like stance, quadrupedal but with over-sized forelimbs and a distinct hunched appearance. You can see glints of metal hidden in coarse gray hair, some of it looks like armor plate but others are very clearly weapons that have been lodged in the creature's hide. Some are of enormous size and as you fly around it, you realize that this creature should, by all reasonable standards, be dead. Several long metal lances have been pierced straight through it, and human sized swords are embedded all over it's arms and back. It has a great maw of teeth that hangs lazily agape and it's eyes are partially covered by blinders. It's walking forward slowly, carefully putting one powerful limb down, pausing for several seconds and then moving another. Its movement seems almost autonomous, devoid of thought or rational.
Grab my bag, chase Hyenakles, take the same cover.He has it. You gave it to him eariler and he ran off with it.
*in low voice*
- Alright, so what is that thumping? Saw what that was?
((Do I have the gun right now or has he got it?))
He has it. You gave it to him eariler and he ran off with it.
Circle and observe this thing. What an amazing creature to find on a plain!The thing appears to have platforms built onto its head and shoulders. For riding or observing, probably. Maybe for firing down from? Hard to say. This is a war beast of some kind but there's no driver. But why would there be a war beast out here? Especially one of such size.
Grab my bag, chase Hyenakles, take the same cover.[4]
*in low voice*
- Alright, so what is that thumping? Saw what that was?
((Do I have the gun right now or has he got it?))
Get to cover, preferably somewhere off to the side of the thumping noise.[6]
Cower. Try to estimate the location and size of the source of the thumping noise.The location is "Rapidly closing in" and the size appears to be "Fucking big"
"Fucking swear fucking giant ass thumping fucking noises fucking fuckers fuck"You can tell the direction they're coming from easily, but you, for now, can't see anything. The plain is quite dark at night, like a cloudy, moonless night back on earth. You might be able to turn on the car's head lights to see more...
Attempt to discern which direction the tremors are coming from and see what I can see in that direction.
Stay low to the ground, try and see what's making the sound and where it is. Wiggle my hips.You jump out of the car and proceed to hump the ground.
Don't panic.
Don't panic.
((If you consider that an action, PWcanwill roll for this))
Look around. Find a big rock, or a ditch, or bushes. Use that for cover.You hide behind a rock.
Try perching on one of these beast platforms, preferably the most boss-like one. Check if beast is responsive to verbal commands (whether in the weird dog language or proper civilized speech). BE READY TO DODGE AND FLY AWAY.You flap down and come to rest on the one that is right behind the beast's head. Or rather mostly perched atop it. There's what seems to be a series of ropes or cords here that run down to the creature's face like the reigns on a horse. There are also several bodies, including a skeleton that is sitting in a metal throne right next to these cords. He appears to be held in place by the half dozen arrows that have punched through his skull and ribs. Hm.
"Hah. Good try, muse. If I turn on the headlights whatever's out there is gonna see me too."You hide under the jeep. Honestly it will give you just about as much protection as anything else.
Look around for cover, whether it be a bush or rock or something like that, or just under the jeep if necessary. Get under cover.
Stop running. Find some cover.You dive into a small ditch and cover your head.
Don't panic.[2]
Hyenakles: continue screaming. Also, garnish self with salt and pepper and tuck a sprig of parsley behind my ear before assuming a seductive (and tasty!) pose on the hood of the jeep.
If it is possible to scoot over to where Hyenakles just yelled fast, do that. Otherwise, look around for better cover while I still have chance to get it. You know, maybe there is some Frodo-hiding-from-Nazgul effectiveness level cover around.
...oops.John scampers through the dark and tackles Hyenakles, squeezing his muzzle shut.
Stop screaming.
Try to figure out if whatever it is is heading towards me.Ooo that will be fun.
Well...thats not really how it works.Hyenakles: continue screaming. Also, garnish self with salt and pepper and tuck a sprig of parsley behind my ear before assuming a seductive (and tasty!) pose on the hood of the jeep.
((Could you make him commit suicide with the gun he got from me, while you're at it? I'll empower this gun with blood. Lupine people told me that's how it works.))
begin waddling away from screamy mc'panics-a-lot if giant murder beasts come for me give them a hearty dose of flame breathWhy is my mental image of you just Gunter from Adventure time?
Check if the skeleton is still alive. You never know in the afterlife. At the very least check if it's got anything on it.
If that leads nowhere, try steering this thing as you would a horse. Utilize previous lifetime of contemptuously glancing at novelty coach drivers as inspiration.
((You know who Gunter really is, do you?))Spoiler: Gunter (click to show/hide)
"Hmm. If it's jealous of perfection, better not show myself to it then."
Xankarvo's head almost visibly grows bigger as his ego grows slightly.
Continue cautiously hiding.
"Mmmf!" Hyanakles pushed John away.Ooohhh you kill joy
"I, uh, I was trying to confuse the monster, keep it away from the car. Glad to see you had the good sense to follow me, though."Play it coolJesus no, on second thought don't roll for that.
((Have I angered you, oh Piecewise? For thou hast ignored my previous two actions. State my sins so I may repent!))I sometimes don't do posts for actions if the actions are essentially "Do nothing".
Hide. Try to hide together with the group already hididng, if I can find them
Am I hiding in the general area the beast is moving towards? If so, find a different hiding spot. If not, look around for the others from my hiding spot. Maybe taste the air with the giant tongue that is presumably inside my giant mouth.I wasn't sure, so I did a google search to see if pacman has a tongue. This is what I got.
Keep waddling on if I find a good hiding spot then use it, flame breath for giant murder beasts as neccessaryYou waddle until you find the rock that John and the Hyena man are hiding behind. You squawk at them.
((Oh great, now Harry gets all the loot AND a giant warbeast at his disposal. I do hope he still likes us a little.))((I've heard, but I've not kept up on the show.)
Take the gun from Hyenakles for safety reasons. Poke out fror just a moment to check the status before turning back and talking to him:
*in low voice*
- When I said you get my gun if something happens, I didn't want you to run the fuck away. I needed you to take control before I am back in action. Hiding under a rock isn't exactly how you perform that. Now we're dispersed.
Listen to me. If nothing happens in next few minutes, we make a run for it to the car. You toss everything you can in the back, I start it, you jump on and we get as far away as fuel lets us. Deal?((You know who Gunter really is, do you?))Spoiler: Gunter (click to show/hide)
Can I see anything out here? If not, just lead the beast in the most promising direction. If yes, lead it toward a stompable landmark. See if I can find my compatriots and somehow not stomp them in the process.
"Oh good we're not going to die.
I wonder why it was wandering around here if it had no controller or anything?"
"It did! The bugger got killed, looks like!" Mr. Bird explains from on high. "Might want to build us a cabin at some point, lads, so something doesn't kill us up here as well!"
- Mr. Bird? You marvellous bastard, you did WHAT?!? That is grand! Lead it over to the jeep, I'll turn the lights on and we'll look at what exactly scared the shit out of us - that thing you just hijacked.
If Mr. Bird agrees, do what I proposed.
"Righty ho, chap. It's something like an enormous gorilla-horse, I've noticed! Lots of weapons stuck into it, must have run into some right nasty chaps!"
Lead this beast over to the jeep in a semi-careful fashion so that the other hellnauts may behold its glory in sufficient lighting.
"Oh good we're not going to die.
I wonder why it was wandering around here if it had no controller or anything?"
Get out from under jeep, inspect creature.
"That is amazing, mister bird!"You see no easy way up. The easiest would probably be to get the thing to lay down, but it's not gonna be able to do that with those gold spikes in it.
Do a little thank-you dance for mister bird. Once the beast is standing still near us, see if there is a handy way of climbing up on it.
Return to jeep. Go grab the Engine Spirit.You run back to the jeep and grab the Engine Spirit. You figure he might come in handy soon.
Hyenakles emerges from hiding, disbelief painted on his speckled face.You just walk back to the car.
"Well done, Mr. Bird. And here I thought you had jumped ship on us!
...Next time, though, tell us before you wander off to collect your giant steed."
Return to the car.
Examine the injuries on the beast: are they fresh or have they been there for a while? Also, compare engraving patterns on the remaining plating and the gun. Are they similar to each other or there is no similarity in patterns whatsoever?The Injuries look old, there's no sign of bleeding and the flesh seems to have closed and scarred over the golden stakes.
- Alright, let us have this beast on standby at least until morning. Tomorrow, we will stay here, figuring out controls of this thing and collecting whatever we can find around this forest. At the very least, we'll set up some rain collection system to fuel jeep. Someone can go and try picking whatever seems edible, or hunting. Mr. Bird and I will stay here to work on that beast. How does that sound guys?
If nothing else eventful is happening, go back to sleep in the jeep.
waddle back to jeep, expressing annoyance at unnecessary disturbance of sleep to universe in generalYou shrug and go flop down in the jeep, taking one of the seats that everyone else has left open.
Is the beast, er... parked? Or am I still stomping it around? Try my best to park it if not. And if yes, well, fly around it, look for any signs of impending doom such as festering wounds and the like. Does it have any blood, by the way?You've managed to make it stop.
Although do eat a few bones off the skeletal chap in the throne beforehand. Mustn't forget to stay one's hunger.
- What's the rattling up there, Mr. Bird? Anything up there on its back?
"My my my ... it's beautiful."
Check if it leaves footprints. We might want to see where it came from.
Check by walking behind it and looking at the ground, not via hazardous means.
You stalk around the platforms. These appear to have been areas for archers and ranged fighters to fire down from. The buildings, what amount to low huts built into the center of the platforms, hold beds, armor, weapons and all manner of things. Food and water too, but both of those things have long gone bad or rotted to ash and dust in their pots. The gear of the bodies that lay outside is rusted and clearly weatherworn, but the stuff inside seems to be well preserved. The weapons are a strange mix; there are bows and arrows but rifles as well. Armor is a lamellar of metal plates or bone or some kind of ceramic. There are melee weapons too, mostly short blades and long spears. It would take a while and a lot of effort to carry all this down to them.- What's the rattling up there, Mr. Bird? Anything up there on its back?
"Nothing much - skeletons, thrones, controls, buildings. You know, the usual things!"
Nab any shiny valuables, collect into pile as my silly companions form the monster climbing committee or whatever it is they intend to do.
"Nothing much - skeletons, thrones, controls, buildings. You know, the usual things!"
Nab any shiny valuables, collect into pile as my silly companions form the monster climbing committee or whatever it is they intend to do.
Spend the remainder of my watch hunting for small-to-medium prey in our immediate surroundings. Then switch off with John, and get some sleep.
While the others sleepy-sleep, see if I can find some fine rope to lower down for my compatriots, or even better - a ladder!
I don't need sleep, baby! If mister bird manages to lower some rope or something, climb on up. If he doesn't, just stand watch.
"Okay then. Where are we heading to? I say we go wherever this thing came from so we can restock on food. And maybe get an arm for me if they have prosthetics.- Do you really want to go where the giant warbeast came from with numerous open stab wounds and lots of dead people on it? Anyway, lemme just try and climb on top - this thing is tall enough to get a good view from. I'll see the trail it left, most likely.
Climb on if I haven't already. Peruse the dead people for some fancy new clothes, maybe even a hat. Also take inventory of weapons and other useful stuff the dead have.
- Get in line! This rope won't hold two."Speak for yourself, baby! I spent quite some time during the night with mister bird to make this rope, I think I get to go first!"
"Okay then. Where are we heading to? I say we go wherever this thing came from so we can restock on food. And maybe get an arm for me if they have prosthetics.
"Speak for yourself, baby! I spent quite some time during the night with mister bird to make this rope, I think I get to go first!"
- Well, okay, I guess you have your right. Just leave me some sort of wearable clothes. I'm not exactly happy to wander around half-naked."Don't worry baby! I just need some new clothes once in a while. I can't wear two outfits at once, you know!"
"We should be ok on food for a bit- I caught us some last night."
((The people on the thing are skeletons, it's likely been wandering for quite some time. Even with footprints as big as it's, you probably won't fine where it came from.))((I hope we will talk Xan out of this idea.))
Climb on if I haven't already, make sure to not climb up if someone is already on the rope though. Peruse the dead people for some fancy new clothes, maybe even a hat. Also take inventory of weapons and other useful stuff the dead have.
You climb up to the top as well."Okay then. Where are we heading to? I say we go wherever this thing came from so we can restock on food. And maybe get an arm for me if they have prosthetics.- Do you really want to go where the giant warbeast came from with numerous open stab wounds and lots of dead people on it? Anyway, lemme just try and climb on top - this thing is tall enough to get a good view from. I'll see the trail it left, most likely.
After Pancaek makes his way up, climb to the platforms on the beast using rope. Jerk it a little to see if it's secure, then go for it.
Watch the others climb to see the best way to do it.It's by climbing and not fucking it up.
Provide moral support as the others climb.Well, premises looted. Or at least the loot is tabulated.
If this is for some reason not appreciated, continue looting the premises instead. Perhaps enlist Flamenco John to help, he seems like a right friendly chap.
"We should be ok on food for a bit- I caught us some last night."There seem to be no takers.
Offer around monkey carcass.
((Sorry I haven't been participating as much, I'm suffering Tiruin syndrome - my 'net's not cooperating with me.))
- Wow. That is the coolest mobile house I could've imagined. Now, grab onto something people. I'm gonna go see if those giant needles can be pulled out, the thing might react to it with wiggling.
Put on some sort of shirt, chest armor piece and gauntlets. Then go over to the place spikes protrude from and try pulling it out.
As per these spears in the creature, any particular place you want to start? The Golden stakes are like a subway car through the thing's chest, but there are spears and arrows embedded all through it's arms, legs, shoulders and back. Just grab the closest one or start somewhere specific?
Go see if one of the buildings on the creature has a bed inside.
There are beds, which look like they were for the injured
Also, set the Engine Spirit on the floor of the building with beds.
- Wow. That is the coolest mobile house I could've imagined. Now, grab onto something people. I'm gonna go see if those giant needles can be pulled out, the thing might react to it with wiggling.You grab one of the rough, thick fabric shirts, a chest plate, shin guards and gauntlets before walking over to the nearest spike embedded in the thing's back and trying to pull it out.
Put on some sort of shirt, chest armor piece, shin guards and gauntlets. Then go over to the place spikes protrude from and try pulling it out.
((Well shit))You get clothed up. The chestplate is heavy but not too heavy on its own. It might get a bit sore around the shoulders after a day of walking in it, but it should be fine for now.
Grab myself some new clothing: a full set of underclothing with gauntlets, also the chestpiece if it isn't too heavy to move freely in. Then grab a gladius with scabbard.
Grab one of the ammo boxes and look how many bullets are in there. Get a hold of something before John pulls out the spear
Get helped up onto the thing.You get up without issue.
((Sorry I haven't been participating as much, I'm suffering Tiruin syndrome - my 'net's not cooperating with me.))
Go claim a bed. Also, set the Engine Spirit on the floor of the building with beds.You quickly claim one of the nicer beds near a window. You carefully lay the engine spirit on the ground, where it weeble wobbles for a few seconds before standing upright as though it had weights in its tail.
((Hyenakles is about as attached to the Jeep as he is to Tarmac; he doesn't actively loathe it, but he wouldn't mind leaving it on the side of the road.))
While everyone else is touring the new ride, butcher that carcass. Depending on how long this turn is, maybe make a campfire too.
Your hands keep sliding off the smooth metal shaft.Try some nearby arrow instead.
Try, try again.
That's whales.
[5]Your hands keep sliding off the smooth metal shaft.Try some nearby arrow instead.
((On a side note, I updated the page on ERWiki (http://einsteinianroulette.wikia.com/wiki/The_Infinite_Heavens) - added links to pretty much all posts describing Warbeast and updated inventories.))
Butcher the carcass, using the knife this time.[4]
((I probably should have explicitly stated that I wanted to use the knife the first time.))
Inspect our new transportation method for any flame-based or flame-emitting loot.Nope. None of that here as far as you can see.
Take the box of ammo with me and grab one of the guns as well. Then go to a higher platform so I can have a good view. Enjoy said view.Do you have pockets, mannequin man? Oh well never mind. You can carry the bullets in your hands if you need to.
Test out how soft the bed is.It's pretty soft. Not a luxury bed or anything, but it's not straw in a burlap sack.
Perch in an inconspicuous location and do that single-hemisphere sleeping while the other hemisphere remains alert that birds can totally do.I know that Flamingos do it. Thats why they stand on one foot. That half of their body is asleep. Which is weird.
awaken and waddle onto beast or if unable to then just follow as best I can
"Hey, is there anything up there we could wrap this meat in? Paper, cloth, anything?"
"Hey, baby! I can see clouds and mist behind us. Might be nothing, but it looks mighty ominous!"
- Frankly, I don't feel like riding towards Failures at Warbeast - not exactly the manoeuvrable transport. We should probably hunt around, make a roundtrip on jeep for water and traverse the plains. We could trade the jeep for some goodies from lupine people before we journey on. In fact, we might try to trade a running jeep for a large supply of food and water and journey on right away. Yeah, I think that'll work. What do you think?"I think that plan is seriosuly groovy, baby!"
((I just realized we don't need a bucket or something to get the penguin up. Just lower Tarmac down in a harness. Then he can tell the penguin to GET IN MAH BELLEH.))((That is some overcomplicating right there
- Frankly, I don't feel like riding towards Failures at Warbeast - not exactly the manoeuvrable transport. We should probably hunt around, make a roundtrip on jeep for water and traverse the plains. We could trade the jeep for some goodies from lupine people before we journey on. In fact, we might try to trade a running jeep for a large supply of food and water and journey on right away. Yeah, I think that'll work. What do you think?
((You understand it was a joke, right? He'd be like Fat Bastard in Austin Powers. Because Tarmac is a fat bastard.))((I just realized we don't need a bucket or something to get the penguin up. Just lower Tarmac down in a harness. Then he can tell the penguin to GET IN MAH BELLEH.))((That is some overcomplicating right there
Also, how does the new plan sounds, everyone?))
Sense the bleeding of the creature and collect it in a spare container, if there are any. Never know when you need monster blood.You grab some of the monster blood in a glass jar. Might be useful, you never know.
- Neat. Hey people! It seems that it is safe to yank things out of this thing! Just pull them right off, don't wiggle them if they don't come out.You hoist the penguin up and then go check on the water. It's got a thin film of greenish stuff on it so you're gonna bet it's not safe to drink.
John looks down and addresses to those still on the ground:
- Good job on that prey, Hyenakles! That will keep us sustained for a while. Penguin dude, wanna go up? Hang in there for a moment, I'll make something for ya. Bring over the empty vessels from the jeep while I'm at it, ok?
Get a piece of cloth (we had some of that around, some spare banners, I believe) and tie the corners of it so I can lift things in it with the rope Mr.Bird and Flamengo made. Help penguin up.
See what's up with the water supply that we found on Warbeast - the food has clearly gone bad, but what about the water?
Go around the platforms and collect the special-looking weatherworn items. What are they? After having a look, roll them into some cloth and put them under the roof.
Finally, pick up engine spirit. How my own internal engine feels about it? Carrying engine spirit, get over to control seat and check out controls of the Warbeast. See if dead guy in the chair has anything valuable.
Take the engine spirit to the main control platform, set it in a few different places to see if it reacts. And if anybody tries to take the engine spirit, threaten to stab them with the spike. Or actually stab them if they don't back off.You set it around. No effect when it's on the platform floor, but when you rest it on one of the control ropes the creature suddenly starts shifting and groaning.
I'm not sure, did the outfits on the beast have pockets? If not, use my old clothes to fashion myself a makeshift rucksack.No, they didn't. We'll assume you make that rucksack out of your clothing.
"Hey, baby! I can see clouds and mist behind us. Might be nothing, but it looks mighty ominous!"
Remember, they're at the bottom of a gorge and travel by waterways. Jeep might not be too useful to them. At least not as a whole. Maybe the engine. The parts."Hey, is there anything up there we could wrap this meat in? Paper, cloth, anything?"
- We do have cloth. We should probably roast it first though. Can you put up a fire?"Hey, baby! I can see clouds and mist behind us. Might be nothing, but it looks mighty ominous!"
- Frankly, I don't feel like riding towards Failures at Warbeast - not exactly the manoeuvrable transport. We should probably hunt around, make a roundtrip on jeep for water and traverse the plains. We could trade the jeep for some goodies from lupine people before we journey on. In fact, we might try to trade a running jeep for a large supply of food and water and journey on right away. Yeah, I think that'll work. What do you think?
grumble grumble -humans- grumble grumble
Get to work making a fire, using the aforementioned lighter and any kindling/grass I can accumulate. Cook up the meat.
- Frankly, I don't feel like riding towards Failures at Warbeast - not exactly the manoeuvrable transport. We should probably hunt around, make a roundtrip on jeep for water and traverse the plains. We could trade the jeep for some goodies from lupine people before we journey on. In fact, we might try to trade a running jeep for a large supply of food and water and journey on right away. Yeah, I think that'll work. What do you think?
"... sounds... sensible," Mr. Bird slowly replies from his position, not all there at the moment.
Continue napping while the other yobs do their things.
Go see about that water. There must be quite a lot of it, a barrel, I would presume. Well, I try to transform that into fuel with my special powers, since it is no good for drinking anyway.
Ummm if you put it like that...Help with the barrel
Let us tie it to a rope and put this down. Ask someone who is willing to help with that, the barrel must be pretty heavy, don't want to drop it. When done, do it on the ground, a few meters from the beast.
Oh, and grab a helmet. Might want some extra protection just in case.
perhaps flame breath could be useful
Get a bunch of other containers and fill them with water from the barrel before John does his thing.
Ummm if you put it like that...
Let us tie it to a rope and put this down. Ask someone who is willing to help with that, the barrel must be pretty heavy, don't want to drop it. When done, do it on the ground, a few meters from the beast.
Oh, and grab a helmet. Might want some extra protection just in case.
For helping actions I'll take the best of the rolls. So 2 and 6, which is what you got, will use 6.Ummm if you put it like that...Help with the barrel
Let us tie it to a rope and put this down. Ask someone who is willing to help with that, the barrel must be pretty heavy, don't want to drop it. When done, do it on the ground, a few meters from the beast.
Oh, and grab a helmet. Might want some extra protection just in case.
"Hey Engine Spirit, what is this monster thing, anyways?""Warbeast. Created by the armies of The Conquering Great King as part of his southern expansion. Pseudoflesh; not alive but not dead. Not machine but not life. Hard to destroy."
Talky stuff.
Oh not again you water-explody gas guzzling fuckYou want a bunch of otherwise undrinkable water? Well you gather a bit of it. Not a lot of free containers around here.
Get a bunch of other containers and fill them with water from the barrel before John does his thing.
Nappety nap.ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Stand around looking like a regal tank commander, also help if possible given lack of thumbs, perhaps flame breath could be useful?At this point I think you're acting as mascot. But yeah, hyena could use your help.
((What about a wizard wielding a penguin as a flamethrower?
Hold it by the neck, cock it by the wing and push legs to fire.))
((Also, something that just occurred to me- I listed "making people buy things" as one of Hyenakles' skills, along with hunting. So if you want to sell the Jeep, he's your guy.))((FUCK YEAH Character relevance. I hope we will strike a sweet deal!))
((I don't think Hyenakles is aware of Haast's abilities yet.))pssst open the hatch like I hinted earlier.
Try to start the fire with John's lighter. If, by chance, either a penguin or a wizard offer to help, let them do it instead. Cook that monkey already.
((Hey, Xan, why isn't Xankarvo showing the plant to literally everyone else? If a god forgetting it makes it weak, perhaps enough people remembering it can make it even better!))((Mostly cause I've been busy and forgot a bit about it. I think I am gonna have Xankarvo do some thinking about it though, it should lead to the realization that people's perceptions of you warp how you are.
Man I just love irony, don't you?((Hey, Xan, why isn't Xankarvo showing the plant to literally everyone else? If a god forgetting it makes it weak, perhaps enough people remembering it can make it even better!))((Mostly cause I've been busy and forgot a bit about it.))
"Remember how this thing was all translucent and frail when I found it? Look at it now, it's fairly normal. The jackal people said it was in the process of being forgotten by the God of this place, and so I tried to ... remember it, so to say, and lo and behold it worked! I'm a fucking genius.
But anyway, I need you to try something."
Xankarvo puts on his best wizardly demeanour.
"We don't know what type of plant this is. However, I think that might not matter. Let's say it's a plant that has fruit that heals. I need you to try to believe it. Convince yourself that this plant grows ... I dunno, berries or something, that heal wounds when eaten. Focus it on the plant. All of the average span of willpower you possess. If it works, this could mean interesting things."
Well, try again. It didn't explode in my face, so that's something for now.[6]
THE SLEEPER AWAKENS.AWAKEN!
Well, halfway at least. That's a good power nap.Fly around, see what I can observe of the surrounding environment.
((I don't think Hyenakles is aware of Haast's abilities yet.))You drag a chair over and stand on it so you can reach the hatch. It takes a bit of force but you manage to get the hatch unlocked and open.
Open the hatch.
Then, try to start the fire with John's lighter. If, by chance, either a penguin or a wizard offer to help, let them do it instead. Cook that monkey already.
"Can you drive it, or does it still require manual control from us?"
More talky stuff.
Find someone standing around idle and show them the plant.
"Remember how this thing was all translucent and frail when I found it? Look at it now, it's fairly normal. The jackal people said it was in the process of being forgotten by the God of this place, and so I tried to ... remember it, so to say, and lo and behold it worked! I'm a fucking genius.
But anyway, I need you to try something."
Xankarvo puts on his best wizardly demeanour.
"We don't know what type of plant this is. However, I think that might not matter. Let's say it's a plant that has fruit that heals. I need you to try to believe it. Convince yourself that this plant grows ... I dunno, berries or something, that heal wounds when eaten. Focus it on the plant. All of the average span of willpower you possess. If it works, this could mean interesting things."
"Remember how this thing was all translucent and frail when I found it? Look at it now, it's fairly normal. The jackal people said it was in the process of being forgotten by the God of this place, and so I tried to ... remember it, so to say, and lo and behold it worked! I'm a fucking genius.
But anyway, I need you to try something."
Xankarvo puts on his best wizardly demeanour.
"We don't know what type of plant this is. However, I think that might not matter. Let's say it's a plant that has fruit that heals. I need you to try to believe it. Convince yourself that this plant grows ... I dunno, berries or something, that heal wounds when eaten. Focus it on the plant. All of the average span of willpower you possess. If it works, this could mean interesting things."
"Ah, that is indeed spiffy, good chap."
Examine that plant. Strengthen it with belief something fierce.
((@Comrade: To save you some time, you could just fill up those containers you have gathering rain. Or any other unnecessary container. Unless you absolutely must have the gas stored in that specific wooden barrel for some reason.))
"Grar"
assist with the cooking of food thing with flame breath, do not set fire to leaky barrel of gasoline
((You guys might be able to carry the Jeep on top of the Beast ans use it for expeditions or something.
And that might more room for new players! :P))
((It is leaking because it can't hold yay much heavy liquid, right?))You manage to plug up the leaks in the barrel.
- Oh for crying out loud, now it leaks...
At least id din't explode on you or evaporated, you ungrateful mofo.
John runs off to get some cloth from the end of the rope that was tied there earlier, and then goes back with it to either shove it into leaks or tie barrel tighter together, whatever seems more proficient.
"Say, that is a fancy plant."[6]
Wonder about the likely narcotic properties of such a plant. Surely it must be able to give quite a buzz. Or a rush - probably more a rush kind of narcotic plant, this one.
"Good, good! Keep going."[1]
Accentuate the serratedness of the leaves. Believe that they are spikier than they are!
make sure I'm a bit of a distance away from the overful barrel of fuel.You're fine. I'm sure nothing could possibly go wrong!
"Can you sense obstacles while you drive, or would you just end up walking us into a wall or off a cliff?""I can see."
Even more talky stuff.
"Grar"[2]
assist with the cooking of food thing with flame breath, do not set fire to leaky barrel of gasoline
Keep cooking the meat. Be understandably surprised when Haast tries to burn my roast.Ding! Meat's done!
Okay. So.Lets consider that all done.
John drinks some gas, then shuts the barrel and starts the lengthy process of careful moving of the barrel to the jeep. He fuels the thing, fills the jerry can and the proceeds to ramble:
- Okay now, Hyenakles, Mr. Bird, would you care for a ride to canine people? And yeah, grab a bow and a dozen of spears and about four swords on you way down - they might be interested in those even if they don't fancy our jeep. I'll tell you my thoughts on this deal while we drive, and you tell me what you want out of it. Now then those remaining here, be vigilant. You got plenty of ways to protect yourselves.
Some of you probably want to eat that meat Hyenakles just cooked before we depart though. Absolutely do that, smells tasty.
Lets consider that all done.((Looks like we'll chat just a little more before moving on))
"Hey everyone! Stop what you're doing for a second and come here, I just figured out something really important for the future."
"Remember that translucent plant I picked up on the side of the road? Look at it now."
"As for rides, sure, why not? Especially atop this marvelous beastie."
"Meat's done. What's that about squashing the lupines?"
"Maybe we can put on a dance number for them! Dazzle them with our smooth moves, baby!"
"Sounds good to me. Maybe we could capture a couple of them, since they seem to know the area."- Let us stick to trading. We have plenty of goods we can exchange. I shouldn't have brought up the bloody variant. I don't know what's got into me.
- Let's give a jeep some last miles to ride. Besides, they could freak out about the beast and ruin the trading mood. Then again, we could smash them completely with it and pillage the remains... No. Nonono, that's the aura of the dead soldiers speaking, we're not doing that.
"You said it, not me. The point still stands; we could use a guide or two.""Sounds good to me. Maybe we could capture a couple of them, since they seem to know the area."- Let us stick to trading. We have plenty of goods we can exchange. I shouldn't have brought up the bloody variant. I don't know what's got into me.
"Remember that translucent plant I picked up on the side of the road? Look at it now."
- Huh. Impressive. Those lupine fellows said it was being forgotten, and you have put some thought into it, huh? It changed a little, the form of its leaves or something, I haven't figured it out. Do you have impact on it?
Witness the plant! Maybe it can grow some satchels filled with flammable fluid every so often which could serve as a self-defence weapon for it (something reaches for the plant - plant fires up a satchel and scares the beast away) or as nitro fuel for me?
Also, from now on every so often remember how Xan's arm is regrowing itself into something capable of flamethrowing somehow."As for rides, sure, why not? Especially atop this marvelous beastie."
- Let's give a jeep some last miles to ride. Besides, they could freak out about the beast and ruin the trading mood. Then again, we could smash them completely with it and pillage the remains... No. Nonono, that's the aura of the dead soldiers speaking, we're not doing that.
"So we're trading with the lupine and then killing them afterwards to spread legends of us? I can dig it." Tarmac says as he approaches, having only heard parts of the conversation.You chew on some monkey.
Go eat if hungry.
"Grar RAr grak"[1]
waddle around the place looking impressive after that miserable embarrasment, use flame breath to show off to anyone we meet
guard the beast. With that I mean do some dancing on the highest platform as I look out for trouble.Dancing on the beast, do do do do!
- Okay, we got the general idea, if everyone ate now let's get rolling.
Get to the car and start it up. Be sure 10 spears and 4 swords are packed in the trunk, the fuel tank is full and there is some in jerry can as well. Get to Lupine. I expect Hyenakles and Mr. Bird to join me, maybe just Mr. Bird, for translation purposes.
((My internet is bad, I'll post scarcely till monday evening.))
"Ah well, if you insist. Though I would ask the others to steer the beast in the village direction if we happen to not return in due time, if only for safety's sake."
Follow John on his path to the lupine village.
Quickly eat some of the monkey, before following John. Bring my companion Deer Shank, of course.
- I. Fucking. Forgot. Forgot about damn canyon. But then again, we don't have to move Tarmac around this time. So listen up, here's the plan. We come down with swords and spears and stand back juuust before lupine encampment. Then Mr. Bird and me come up to them and tell them we found some long dead soldiers of that conquering emperor, a scout squad or whatnot, and they had some weapons on them we don't really need and would like to trade. If they react alright to that statement, Hyenakles waltzes in with our goodies. From there we wing it.hehe and I'm pretty sure I reminded you of that fact back when you first started talking about selling the jeep to them.
If the bastards don't want to trade, well, we return atop the Warbeast and make them regret that. Sound good?
hehe and I'm pretty sure I reminded you of that fact back when you first started talking about selling the jeep to them.((You probably did. I was kinda carried away OOC-wise for the last week or so. I think we'll trade them the weapons for now, maybe Hyenakles will roll his trade skills good and we'll be good. Otherwise we'll just return with what we've got and John will roll with any plan that gets party unstuck because we clearly need some action to get that waitlist cycling.))
- I. Fucking. Forgot. Forgot about damn canyon. But then again, we don't have to move Tarmac around this time. So listen up, here's the plan. We come down with swords and spears and stand back juuust before lupine encampment. Then Mr. Bird and me come up to them and tell them we found some long dead soldiers of that conquering emperor, a scout squad or whatnot, and they had some weapons on them we don't really need and would like to trade. If they react alright to that statement, Hyenakles waltzes in with our goodies. From there we wing it.
If the bastards don't want to trade, well, we return atop the Warbeast and make them regret that. Sound good?
((Kill this place's god! You know you want to. You can use metal to climb the shredder clouds and reach him.))hehe and I'm pretty sure I reminded you of that fact back when you first started talking about selling the jeep to them.((You probably did. I was kinda carried away OOC-wise for the last week or so. I think we'll trade them the weapons for now, maybe Hyenakles will roll his trade skills good and we'll be good. Otherwise we'll just return with what we've got and John will roll with any plan that gets party unstuck because we clearly need some action to get that waitlist cycling.))
((Kill this place's god! You know you want to. You can use metal to climb the shredder clouds and reach him.))
"So how long have you been around, anyways? Were you created or born, or a reincarnated soul?""I was created in 255 CGKT using Red clay and blood from a mortal wound, imbued with life by common proclamation. I was part of The Conquering Great King's first northern expansion."
More Engine Spirit talky stuff.
Sit down and gaze at the landscape. Hum a little tune[4]
They would like to see said imperial weaponry before making any deals.- I. Fucking. Forgot. Forgot about damn canyon. But then again, we don't have to move Tarmac around this time. So listen up, here's the plan. We come down with swords and spears and stand back juuust before lupine encampment. Then Mr. Bird and me come up to them and tell them we found some long dead soldiers of that conquering emperor, a scout squad or whatnot, and they had some weapons on them we don't really need and would like to trade. If they react alright to that statement, Hyenakles waltzes in with our goodies. From there we wing it.
If the bastards don't want to trade, well, we return atop the Warbeast and make them regret that. Sound good?
"Ah, yes. You climb down with the stuff, I shall glide down like the magnificent beast I am and introduce the important details to the fellows, presumably timing it just right for you to reveal some wonderful weaponry to trade with. Sounds like a plan!"
Fly over to some more moneyed-looking lupine acquaintances and ask them if they would be in the market for some fine imperial weaponry. Perhaps they could use it to make amazing boats or something.
They would like to see said imperial weaponry before making any deals.
Considering his armies haven't been seen around here in centuries, no, they're fine with it.They would like to see said imperial weaponry before making any deals.
Well, certainly. It should be arriving any time now. Just establishing here that they do not have moral objections to trading weaponry that may or may not have belonged to retainers of the Great Conquering King as far as we know. They don't have any of those, right?
Muster my inner slotted spoon salesman, and barter with the Lupines.
John glances at the Lupine and addresses Mr. Bird in a casual manner:You carry in the goods after a long walk down and set them against the stone wall of the canyon in the most appealing way you can, trying best to imitate a store front.
- I take it they are willing to trade. That's good.
Barge in with weaponry and put it on display - make them lean on the rock or something, so they can be seen well.
Be have heard engine spirit thing talky"A being which set out to conquer the heavens. And did a very good job at it. If I still live, then so does he and his empire. I don't know if they expanded past here or if they regressed, but the locals seem to know him, and this beast means he waged war here or near here."
"Who was the Conquering Great King?"
"Did the Conquering Great King conquer multiple hells? Did he leave a map somewhere?""I do not know exactly how many he may have laid claim to, but it is several hundred at least. He expands, conquers, and absorbs, bringing those he has overtaken into his empire and conscripting them into his service. He no doubt has maps, but I do not know exactly where. Perhaps deeper into his empire."
More talky stuff.
Look over the rifle I picked up. Check if everything's in workingIt could use some oil, but all the parts seem to be intact and moving. There's no obvious corrosion to the metal or rotting of the wooden components either. You won't know until you fire a shot, but you'd be willing to bet that it will work fine.
Muster my inner slotted spoon salesman, and begin to talk prices with the Lupines. Show off our goods, and see what they have to offer in return. Don't agree to anything yet.
Interpret as needed. Attempt to mask thinly veiled murderous streak in companions with as smooth a delivery as my incomplete understanding of Lupine allows.You think you mask their homocidal intent pretty well.
"GAR GRAR GAK GAK GAR RAR"You roll onto your belly and manage to try and walk away with a bit of dignity.
attempt to get up
- I'm leaving the negotiations up to you guys, but feel free to throw in a few more spears or swords if this will sway them the right way - just explain that it would require me to make a roundtrip to get those. Also consider mentioning other stuff if this is necessary to get us what we want.
"Wait a minute, what are we even negotiating for? Wasn't this entire trip your idea, good chap? I don't actually need anything from these people, I find."
((Psst. You have a giant war machine/troop carrier filled with weapons that has no crew and is carrying no soldiers. Convince some of them to become your crew and soldiers. Then go conquer a heaven or two.))
((That is true, next stop, put out fliers for some crew, and whenever another player comes on, PW can handwave it as 'they were always there'.((Psst. You have a giant war machine/troop carrier filled with weapons that has no crew and is carrying no soldiers. Convince some of them to become your crew and soldiers. Then go conquer a heaven or two.))
((I believe we might as well use some more PCs from waitlist for that.))
((That is true, next stop, put out fliers for some crew, and whenever another player comes on, PW can handwave it as 'they were always there'.
And in the case of people being killed who are not currently PCs, pack some redshirts in there.))
((The problem is that putting too many PCs in the game can make it harder for piecewise. Remember Perplexicon? That way you can get a crew that can act on its own so that you don't have to wait for every single player to coordinate and then post an action. The crew essentially becomes part of the vehicle. Like in those space game where you have a "crew" resource that is like another component of the ship, rather than actual humans.((No, see, those PCs won't be playing at all before a new position comes in, they'll just be background characters, working with the team in the giant beast but only controlled by PW.
And I also want you to have expendable soldiers so that you can attack someoneand die a horrible death so the wait list can move onand do something awesome so that everyone spreads rumors about those super special guys powerful enough to claim multiple heavens as their own.))
((No, see, those PCs won't be playing at all before a new position comes in, they'll just be background characters, working with the team in the giant beast but only controlled by PW.((This would restrict us to humanoid characters only, while on the waitlist we have other... embodiments of souls. They can be just as useful in gameplay normally, like Mr. Bird, but not that useful in operating the Warbeast.))
You know the Game Masters theory? Every character is in quantum superposition until decided otherwise? This would be an extreme example of that, the replacements wouldn't even exist until they would be required.))
((Who says they'll only encounter places like that? Perhaps a big group of embodied souls decided to settle down in an area, or perhaps they encounter a traveling caravan full of embodied souls, who knows, PW can do whatever the hell he wants in that game.))((No, see, those PCs won't be playing at all before a new position comes in, they'll just be background characters, working with the team in the giant beast but only controlled by PW.((This would restrict us to humanoid characters only, while on the waitlist we have other... embodiments of souls. They can be just as useful in gameplay normally, like Mr. Bird, but not that useful in operating the Warbeast.))
You know the Game Masters theory? Every character is in quantum superposition until decided otherwise? This would be an extreme example of that, the replacements wouldn't even exist until they would be required.))
((Who says they'll only encounter places like that? Perhaps a big group of embodied souls decided to settle down in an area, or perhaps they encounter a traveling caravan full of embodied souls, who knows, PW can do whatever the hell he wants in that game.))((What I'm saying is, once we pick them up, they could be as useful for maintaining Warbeast as Haast right now, which is hardly. He has no opposed thumbs and can hardly do things. How did PW phrased it, he is pretty much just a mascot at this point.))
((I'll just move this to PMs.))((Who says they'll only encounter places like that? Perhaps a big group of embodied souls decided to settle down in an area, or perhaps they encounter a traveling caravan full of embodied souls, who knows, PW can do whatever the hell he wants in that game.))((What I'm saying is, once we pick them up, they could be as useful for maintaining Warbeast as Haast right now, which is hardly. He has no opposed thumbs and can hardly do things. How did PW phrased it, he is pretty much just a mascot at this point.))
((Having the PCs exist on the Warbeast before actually being ingame would spoil the whole premise, though.))((I thought the whole premise was a merry romp to find the first heaven, having schrodinger PCs wouldn't mess with that.))
((Hitchhiking. Hitchhiking through the great Unknown.))((Mmm, probably, having a bunch of redshirts to staff the warbeast would mess with the message a bit.
"I am immediately incredibly jealous of him and desire to overtake him, but that's normal for me. But I know better than that - anyone known by a title like that has no doubt made plentiful use of the perception-shifting magic or whatever it is that I figured out. Too powerful to defeat for now."He was not Hellborn, but I do not know what his mortal form was. Many have guessed, assumed he was Alexander the great or some other well known conqueror.I do not know though."
Was the king a former mortal, like us?"
talkatalk
John sits by the improvised showcase and rests.There are no obvious candidates for leaders here; no one with a big fancy hat to denote that at least. You do your best to see if they seem to be deferring to the opinions of any particular member of the group over any other but there seems to be no stand out there either. Maybe they don't have a leader?
- I'm leaving the negotiations up to you guys, but feel free to throw in a few more spears or swords if this will sway them the right way - just explain that it would require me to make a roundtrip to get those. Also consider mentioning other stuff if this is necessary to get us what we want.
Look at the Lupine we are negotiating with. It was mentioned that they wear some sort of white cloaks, I believe? Are any of them different from others? Any obvious leader among them right now?
Shrugging his shoulders and casting his eyes downward, Hyenakles adopts an almost folksy variation upon his typical hyena dialect. After a pause, during which he sort of paces a bit as if in thought, he addressed the Lupines.
"Look- Lupines. You're canids. I'm... Basically a canid. I might not know your language- our language?- but I do know that if you go far enough back, we might as well be family. I get where you're coming from- you're hard workers. You worked hard for that food, and I respect that. I respect it because I understand- folks like us value an honest living.
And that's why I'm offering you such a steal on these arms. These are top-notch weapons- and in this day and dimension, that may well make the difference between life and death. Your children's life and death. And what's more precious to you-those excess food stores, or your children?"
Finagle
Explain to the lupines that these are the weapons I spoke of, pointing at John's quaint storefront imitation. Handle trade negotiations.[5]
"Sounds like we'll be passing through the empire at some point anyway, if we aren't already. Think you could take us to the center of it, if we wanted to go? And how did you end up on a jeep in the first place?""I could try, but such things may have shifted. It has been quite a long time."
Talky talky talky
Check the rifle for aiming. Is it just plain old iron sights, or is there a slider for different ranges? Root around corpses to see if there's a scope or something there.It appears to have a space for a scope, or at least something, but as it is, all it has is a simple iron sight. You root around but can find no scopes here. Hmm, the engine spirit did talk about how there must have been a battle near by. Maybe there's a battlefield you can scavenge?
My problem is: What happens if the warbeast dies? Or if you guys get attacked? Shouldn't some crew die in the attack? Do I just kill off waitlisters? If the war beast dies, we'd be left with a giant crowd to account for.((Hitchhiking. Hitchhiking through the great Unknown.))((Mmm, probably, having a bunch of redshirts to staff the warbeast would mess with the message a bit.
Ahh well, let's see how it goes.
You know what? Let's ask PW, Yo, PW, wadd'ya think about this idea of using the warbeast as a party bus for background PCs?))
I like the idea in it's way, but I think I'd prefer to keep things as they are. Because there are definite benefits to having characters come in from the civs you visit. Namely, it's a way to get information on the area since I can give those players inside info that they would know. Like Mr.Bird's ability to speak the Lupine language, for instance.((That's a good point - it is extremely convenient to get info on what we're dealing with in this particular place via not dangerous interaction))
- So it's a deal. Very well! But before we depart with the goods, Mr. Bird, could you ask them if any of their people want to come with us? Maybe somebody has severe wanderlust, or maybe they would like to send someone away for a long time for whatever reason.
Pass on the weapons, acquire mentioned supplies and load them carefully into the jeep. Make sure we carry them safely, make several trips there and back if necessary. When done, make sure everyone is in the car and start off a trip back to the woods, to home-sweet-destructive-mobile-home.I like the idea in it's way, but I think I'd prefer to keep things as they are. Because there are definite benefits to having characters come in from the civs you visit. Namely, it's a way to get information on the area since I can give those players inside info that they would know. Like Mr.Bird's ability to speak the Lupine language, for instance.((That's a good point - it is extremely convenient to get info on what we're dealing with in this particular place via not dangerous interaction))
"Do you know if he ever reached the First Heaven? For that matter, is there a difference between heaven and hell?""I do not know. I do not know if such a thing even exists. The distinction is sometimes hard to make. Those places which are the home of gods are generally called heavens, while those that lack them are hells. Though gods are not always so easy to find, and often their realms may not be so benevolent. This is a heaven."
Big questions!
"I'll keep an eye out for your brethren, then. Do they look similar to you?""I can not say. Engine spirits have no definite form. We are life breathed into the lifeless, and we may spread ourselves out as we please. They may look like me, they may have taken up residence in something totally foreign. It's why I dislike this pseudoflesh. It's only partially lifeless. And far to large for myself alone to control easily. But I can handle walking."
More talking.
Ask the Lupines if perhaps some of them are feeling bored enough to come with us. After all, god hates them and they have to die someday, so why not die while doing interesting things instead of eking out an existence in this inhospitable land? We've got plenty of room on the warbeast, and this supply of food and drink can easily feed us as well as any hangers-on.They politely decline. They don't seem the adventurous sort. At least not these full grown ones. If you remember right, by the time they reach this size, they're actually quite old.
I made some derpy fanart, by the way. (http://imgur.com/a/oQYqC)
"So with more engine spirits, we could have a fully controlled war machine? Can you sense other engine spirits if we get near them?""I'd have to touch them to know."
More asking of things.
"I've a way to fix that particular issue of if it exists or not. But that'll have to wait until we encounter another group of people.
...
How would you rate our chances as of now of defeating this realm's god? Also, how powerful are gods typically? Do they have abilities of any sort, or do they vary?"
John gets to the driver's seat of the Warbeast, where he finds Tarmac and Xankarvo having a conversation with engine spirit.You can do that, though it's easier to just have the engine spirit do it for you. Admittedly, he can't walk and move the arms at the same time, but you don't need to for this.
- So you were having a good time, I see. Now let me try out a thing - be careful.
Take the drivers seat. Figure out the controls. If there are means to control Warbeasts actions beyond walking directions, try ripping some dead tree from the ground and seeing if I can put large objects on the back of the beast and back on the ground. Be extra careful to not damage the buildings while doing that.
See if any of our remaining armor would fit me.As it is, no. You might be able to take a few pieces and string them together into something though. Armoring a sphere isn't easy. I guess you could balance a helmet on top of your head and hope the enemy laughs instead of attacking.
((I'm not a sphere, I'm a hyena. Were you thinking of Tarmac?))AH right. I remember the characters but for some reason the players controlling them get mixed up in my head sometimes. In that case yes, the armor would fit you. Not very well, your back has much more of a thoracic curve to it then the others, but it fits.
Assist John
Keep watching the skies.The skies are gray and uninteresting for the moment. The only thing you can see while flying around is that strange collection of things that you passed by in the jeep yesterday evening. From the sky, it looks like a weirdly bumpy and uneven area of grass. Probably grown over something.
And if that's not thrilling enough, do some recon. Check our lovely Warby for parasites or something.
- Why, ain't that a treat? We're almost ready to go.
Put the Jeep on Warbeast's back. Secure it with some rope or cloth straps or whatnot, put it on hand brake. See if beast can walk alright with Jeep on it's back. If so, ask Engine Spirit to take us to the nearest Great Conquering King's Empire outpost he is aware of. Be sure everyone is aboard when we depart. While he's at it, draw this (http://i.imgur.com/N8PVF9M.png) on red cloth with some machine oil or greasy dirt. Hoist that up instead one of the old banners, so there would be new one and old one alongside.
Ask the Engine Spirit if it remembers the Field of Faces Getting Punched. Or whatever that place is called.It does not.
Fly closer! Investigate this odd formation of vegetation while circling it several times in the air, making sure to get good angles. Attempt to ascertain its motives.Motives? None. It is a field. Admittedly, such things could happen around here, but not this time.
Obtain some of the armor we have and attempt to convince myself that my arm bones are growing back, with nothing else to do.Armor you can get, the arm bones, well, you can do your best to believe it, but it's not easy. And you doubt the belief of one man will do anything.
When he hears that some sort of landmark should be found, John looks around, seeking for Mr. Bird, then looks up and sees him flying above and looking at something. Something was there, but we passed it by night while driving jeep. Some sort of ruins? He turns around and talks to Engine Spirit.
- So, um, Engine Spirit? It appears that you know a thing or two about this Great Conquering King and his stuff. So, earlier, I showed this - he pulls out the pistol - to the locals, and they said it was also related to him. Apparently it belonged to some important man, I can't quite recall by now, they probably said it was his son? Anyhow, - he drops the magazine and demonstrates the engraved cartridge in it, held by metal lips - they said it was powered by blood. That sounds dangerous - do you know anything about it?
While we talk, make the beast move slowly to the things we passed on jeep in the dark.
Grab some of the armor. Don't put it on just yet, just make sure it's at hand.Okie dokie.
Sit atop our glorious beast as a firebreathing penguin mascot
"Hm. Origin I do not know, but its powered by blood. The grip and the rounds should be quite sharp, designed to cut flesh and leech some blood from the user. It's a powerful form of inherent magic, but its strength depends on the user and the potency of their blood. In your hands, it would be a powerful gun. In the hands of a general, with thousands of loyal troops and legions of fearful enemies, it could bring down a war beast in a shot. In the hands of the Conquering Great King, it could destroy gods and heavens."
"SAY, LADS!" Mr. Bird yells as he circles closer to Warby and the people on it. "THESE HILLS ARE DEAD WARBEASTS, METHINKS! BLIMEY!"
"Great minds think alike, I see!"
((Hmmm... Does tricking piecewise into thinking you have something count as belief-based magic?))((Nay, that would be plain cheating.))
((Hmmm... Does tricking piecewise into thinking you have something count as belief-based magic?))((Probably depends on how you trick him and if you're ever found out :P))
The universe can be tricked, but the self righting mechanisms that kick in if it ever notices may be unpleasant.((Hmmm... Does tricking piecewise into thinking you have something count as belief-based magic?))((Probably depends on how you trick him and if you're ever found out :P))
Survey a particular warbeast. Does it have loot to speak of or have the thieving steppe monkeys and their trusty vegetation sidekicks claimed all? Our warbeast has houses, so it stands to reason that these might have some form of ruins on them or near them.The warbeast itself appears to have transformed into dirt and stone; it's hair is gone and much of it has crumbled like dry soil. You can see the timbers of the back platform on this one; this one is laying on it's side, so the building is partially exposed, sticking out of the dirt and folliage. It is quite badly rotted. You'd have to dig into it to see if there's anything in there. There are scattered, degraded weapons on the battle field; the rusted shafts of spears being the most obvious. There are other bodies too, but very view are visible above ground. Most have been buried and overgrown you would assume.
Though do bear in mind that what is dead cannot eternal lie and all that, and exercise caution nevertheless.
"I do not know. It should still perform, but I do not know the specifics of how.""Hm. Origin I do not know, but its powered by blood. The grip and the rounds should be quite sharp, designed to cut flesh and leech some blood from the user. It's a powerful form of inherent magic, but its strength depends on the user and the potency of their blood. In your hands, it would be a powerful gun. In the hands of a general, with thousands of loyal troops and legions of fearful enemies, it could bring down a war beast in a shot. In the hands of the Conquering Great King, it could destroy gods and heavens."
- Whoah. Why thank you! That was very interesting to know, and it now seems a much better investment of my coins. But say, should I have not quite animal type blood, would it still work? I take it it just leeches on whatever vital bodily fluid it can absorb.
When John hears out what Engine Spirit has to say for that matter, he shouts to Mr. Bird:
- Hey! What do yourelvenavian eyes see? Do you see anything like a road? Or a wall of fog?
Watch around for the trail Warbeast left while roaming. Given we find it, we will follow it. If it ends/starts here, at this field, then, well, rely on any other landmark Mr. Bird can provide us with.
Also, think again about how Xan's arm is inconceivably getting better.
Think about his plant - about how dried leafs could probably be used for smokes, which fumes wouldn't cause canсer and stuff for regular people and engine corrosion for me. The square-ish leaf could dry out itself very quickly once torn; it can be then split into two layers, first one crumbling into ~5mm dry chunks to be used as the filler, and second one a bit sticky on one side, to be used to roll the filler in a tube.
((If somebody could put up a list of "features" our plant has I'd wiki that for future reference.))
"There could be a benefit to that actually - see if there are any engine spirits in particular, Mr. Bird. Or the husk of one, I suppose."
Xankarvo restrains his temptation to take the gun. What he wants is his magic back.
Actually wait, he hasn't even tried that yet has he?
Try to do magic! Specifically cast a fireball off into the distance.
(Note, I don't actually expect to be able to do magic this is just an action so Xan can start IC planning to get his powers)
((My plant currently has really smooth green leaves that are a narcotic. They give a rush when ingested.))
"Right, everything's rusted, rotted and buried. Not quite looting material, I'm afraid. Sorry, chaps, but one warbeast filled with fabulous treasure will have to do for now."
- Well, an attempt was made. Now how about some sort of wall of clouds or a road nearby? Unless you people want me to drive the thing into that land of giant crushing hands coming down from the sky, I can't really figure any directions.
((Might still be some loot inside the partially buried building.))
((Might still be some loot inside the partially buried building.))((And they can check and see who actually participated in this fight and what weapons they used. You know, see the local archaeological attraction like proper tourists.))
((And they can check and see who actually participated in this fight and what weapons they used. You know, see the local archaeological attraction like proper tourists.))((Chances are, it is all rotten for good by now. Even things on the outside bits of Warbeast were rendered useless by time, and they weren't put in dirt for who knows how many years.
"Hmm. It's as I suspected then, my magics haven't recovered well from the journey into the afterlife. Well, persistence leads to the charred corpses of your enemies."
Concentrate really really hard! FIRE WILL SPEW OUT OF MY HAND
...((Oi, I'm here, I posted an action! PW just didn't use it, probably because harry's action was more or less the same thing but better.))
((You are first on the waitlist, aren't you?))
...
...
((Yes, it appears you are. Well then, don't forget to take control over non-responsive characters. Keep an eye on Corsair, Pancaek and Beirus.))
((No biggie. I haven't been making very memorable actions since, well, we're on the warbeast and I don't really see what I can do. But just you wait until we meet the dastardly demon of devilish riverdancing!))
((You could be a human in any old game. This is pretty much the only one where you can be something strange and arbitrary. I actually find it a bit weird how many people have animals as incarnations.
"Hmm. It's as I suspected then, my magics haven't recovered well from the journey into the afterlife. Well, persistence leads to the charred corpses of your enemies."
Concentrate really really hard! FIRE WILL SPEW OUT OF MY HAND
((You could be a human in any old game. This is pretty much the only one where you can be something strange and arbitrary. I actually find it a bit weird how many people have animals as incarnations.((I've got a serial killer reincarnated into an octopus-mermaid-like creature that needs brains to survive. An expert in lying, deceiving, seducing and literal backstabbing, but with a frail body and weak legs, unsuitable for dodging, surviving damage and direct combat. She normally looks like an attractive human, but her legs can split into tentacles, revealing her true hideous form and a large beak perfect four w cracking skulls and devouring brains. I got inspired by the mythical Sirens, luring people to their deaths. Thinking of calling her Siri, sort for Sirine. Still thinking about it.))
((I've got a serial killer reincarnated into an octopus-mermaid-like creature that needs brains to survive. An expert in lying, deceiving, seducing and literal backstabbing, but with a frail body and weak legs, unsuitable for dodging, surviving damage and direct combat. She normally looks like an attractive human, but her legs can split into tentacles, revealing her true hideous form and a large beak perfect four w cracking skulls and devouring brains. I got inspired by the mythical Sirens, luring people to their deaths. Thinking of calling her Siri, sort for Sirine. Still thinking about it.))
Thinking of calling her Siri, sort for Sirine. Still thinking about it.((I haven't finalised the sheet yet, which is why I haven't posted it yet. Still thinking about it. It's just a concept, some notes in a txt file right now.))
QuoteThinking of calling her Siri, sort for Sirine. Still thinking about it.((I haven't finalised the sheet yet, which is why I haven't posted it yet. Still thinking about it. It's just a concept, some notes in a txt file right now.))
""Hmm. It's as I suspected then, my magics haven't recovered well from the journey into the afterlife. Well, persistence leads to the charred corpses of your enemies."
Concentrate really really hard! FIRE WILL SPEW OUT OF MY HAND
Hyenakles' looks over Xankarvo. The gaudy robes, the gaudier tracksuit. The dangling arm.
"Yeah, you don't strike me as much of a sorcerer. No undue offense intended."
Express incredulity regarding Xan's wizardness.
What you're bad at: Socializing/resolving things peacefully. Xankarvo could have charitably been called an arrogant fuck.
Hyenakles' raises his eyebrows an inch or so higher. "Show us this magic of yours, then. I'll believe it when I see it."((YOU DISBELEIVING IT JUST MAKES IT WORSE.))
((Depends. If I conclusively prove him wrong then it'll backfire and make me more powerful.Hyenakles' raises his eyebrows an inch or so higher. "Show us this magic of yours, then. I'll believe it when I see it."((YOU DISBELEIVING IT JUST MAKES IT WORSE.))
Fly back to our own lovely Warby. Report.You return to the warbeast, perching up near the driver seat.
"Right, everything's rusted, rotted and buried. Not quite looting material, I'm afraid. Sorry, chaps, but one warbeast filled with fabulous treasure will have to do for now."
And you keep an eye out for interesting things as the beast proceeds.- Well, an attempt was made. Now how about some sort of wall of clouds or a road nearby? Unless you people want me to drive the thing into that land of giant crushing hands coming down from the sky, I can't really figure any directions.
"I'll keep a doubly accommodating eye out, my good man!"
As we proceed, scout around for promising directions of exploration. The most promising direction being the one that leads straight out of this shithole, obviously.
You steer the warbeast back in the direction it came, toward the fog, because that area seems to have the least amount of trees. Admittedly, the steppe doesn't have many trees to begin with, but that way definitely seems to have the least. You continue for several hours, mostly blind, but the Engine spirit confirms that you are moving straight and not doubling back accidentally. Eventually, you come to a different kind of fog. A solid wall of fog that extends out in all directions.((Might still be some loot inside the partially buried building.))
((Screw that. We got ourselves a big-ass Warbeast and loaded it with supplies to the top - we're outta here as soon as we figure out a way. Away with the greed, in with the wanderlust. Also, postponing the shenanigans with the plant until I can concentrate on that and give the wheel to Engine Spirit, which I believe I will at some point.))
Action: find the most deforestated area in sight and walk over there. Repeat until out in the open, where the view is not obstructed by the trees.
"Hmm. It's as I suspected then, my magics haven't recovered well from the journey into the afterlife. Well, persistence leads to the charred corpses of your enemies."[2]
Concentrate really really hard! FIRE WILL SPEW OUT OF MY HAND
in a safe direction
Hmm well no threats in front or behind, but there appears to be a rather large threat coming from the land known as "Meta"...((Oi, I'm here, I posted an action! PW just didn't use it, probably because harry's action was more or less the same thing but better.))
((You are first on the waitlist, aren't you?))
...
...
((Yes, it appears you are. Well then, don't forget to take control over non-responsive characters. Keep an eye on Corsair, Pancaek and Beirus.))
As we proceed and my comrades look for neat oppertunities, Flamenco will look around for threats, both in front and behind.
See if the Engine Spirit knows anything about that spike I got.The one from the ball that John bought? If so, he doesn't know anything about it.
"[6]"Hmm. It's as I suspected then, my magics haven't recovered well from the journey into the afterlife. Well, persistence leads to the charred corpses of your enemies."
Concentrate really really hard! FIRE WILL SPEW OUT OF MY HAND
Hyenakles' looks over Xankarvo. The gaudy robes, the gaudier tracksuit. The dangling arm.
"Yeah, you don't strike me as much of a sorcerer. No undue offense intended."
Express incredulity regarding Xan's wizardness.
Believe I have a freshly rolled blunt. If it works, light it up. Puff puff pass if the others want some.
"Oh my, what's happening there?""Have you considered pulling your rabbit out? Just flop it out and show it off."
Observe the interactions of Xan and magic. Does he do any spiffy tricks? Express gentlemanly approval if yes. Suggest spiffy tricks he could do (in the form of "the one with the hat, you know" or something of that nature) if not.
((I was under impression that we were camping out around warbeast in some forestated area. Well I was probably wrong.))The arrow sails right through. Hmm, come to think of it, that may have been a poor idea. If there was an inhabited area right beyond there, you might have just killed their leader and now you're driving a war beast in. Hmm.
- Hey, Xan, Tarmac! Remember the wall of fog we found on our way out of Slenceville? We went through it end wound up where we are now? Well check it out, another wall of fog. Hm. Wait a minute...
Get a bow and shoot an arrow at the wall. See if the metal tip bounces off, like metal did from those clouds on the top of mountain. If it does not, walk the Warbeast through it!
Be not deterred. Try once more!You can't even make the rabbit come out. He has wilted, dejected.
swear I'm this close to throwing a Molotov at the fucker. 'Weh weh you're not a wizard' and you don't look like a real fucking hyena you walking cartoon. Wanna be disdainful about my wizardness when you carry around rotting meat without even noticing the stench?
"Eh? Oh right. Those must be the borders of realms. Let's go, I've had enough of this heaven."
Chamber a bullet in my rifle. Grab onto something if we pass through the mistYou chamber a round and go stand up near the driver's seat, holding on to the railing with one hand. Hmm, some sort of strap to keep you from falling off might be good.
Hmm, come to think of it, that may have been a poor idea. If there was an inhabited area right beyond there, you might have just killed their leader and now you're driving a war beast in. Hmm.((Boy, wouldn't that be something? I mean, that's the best entrance ever.))
((It already is a drug, I think.))((The leaves are a narcotic, so you can just chew 'em.))
Hopefully enter the story soon.
>Haast (Corsair): wenk wenk over to Hyenakles with a box of ammo for his rifle.Continue job as mascot by helping and barbecuing interlopers/that which offends me
((Last time three player entered. and some of those people may not want to play anymore.
pls))
((That sounds kinda meta. How would you know that IC?))((Last time three player entered. and some of those people may not want to play anymore.
pls))
((Revising the applications, I can say that we would probably leave Fillipk the Rock behind, not paying any attention to him due to him being a rock, and put down Reynard the Blade [Wolfkit] because he would be a constant threat to out safety and well-being.))
((Eh, the rock can talk.))((If that's the case, then you could put it on board to bring it to the engine spirit, so that it can check if it's another engine spirit and then if you figure out it isn't toss it on board and forget about it. There, IC possibility found.))
"New place! Hahah! I knew following you lot was a wonderful idea!"The ground is fluffy and undulating, it frankly looks more like the surface of a cloud then solid ground, but the war beast seems to be walking on it ok. Though its feet are sinking pretty deep into stuff. At closer ranges the stuff looks more like cotton candy or some kind of very fluffy foam; like the ground is covered in fiberglass insulation. Hmm.
Do a victory lap around the warbeast and survey the ground carefully. Descend progressively closer while performing examination. Be prepared to dodge evil beasts.
- Engine Spirit, can you walk us to the nearest stationary building in sight? Also, do you recognize this place?
When done listening to the answers given, John stands up from the driver seat and heads to the platforms, talking on the go:
- Flamengo, please watch our right. Hyenakles, if you don't mind, watch the left. Maybe grab one of them bows, or a rifle.
Is it cold? When I saw that thing looking like snow, I immediately wondered if it's cold out here. If it is, John would find a big enough piece of cloth in the pile to wear as some sort of cloak.
John puts helmet on and ties a sword in its scabbard to his belt, then gets on the open platform and observes the sky above and structures ahead.Hmm, come to think of it, that may have been a poor idea. If there was an inhabited area right beyond there, you might have just killed their leader and now you're driving a war beast in. Hmm.((Boy, wouldn't that be something? I mean, that's the best entrance ever.))
Grab a rifle, and watch the left.Done and done.
"Can do, baby!"You manage to do both, though the first you only do crudely.
See if I can't quickly fashion a strap to keep myself from falling off from some of the clothing that's strewn across the warbeast. Then take my rifle and watch our right flank.
>Haast (Corsair): wenk wenk over to Hyenakles with a box of ammo for his rifle.Penguin helps!
[3]Take Wizard ViagraStopping when literally everything and everyone tells me I'm incapable of doing something ain't gonna stop me from doing that thing! Power of spite! Believe in the me that believes in myself that believes in fuck those guys Imma fire a fuckmothering fireball at SOMETHING by the end of this!
Somewhere other than the warbeast, of course.
Believe in the blunt. Believe one of my cigarettes is a blunt. Or, failing that, believe Xan's plant is super cannabis.[4]
Wenk.>Haast (Corsair): wenk wenk over to Hyenakles with a box of ammo for his rifle.Continue job as mascot by helping and barbecuing interlopers/that which offends me
Does anyone here not want to play anymore?>Haast (Corsair): wenk wenk over to Hyenakles with a box of ammo for his rifle.Continue job as mascot by helping and barbecuing interlopers/that which offends me
See if I can scratch off some of that lovely fiberglass insulation with my vulture claws and store it in my mysterious storage space. Be prepared to take off if said insulation poses any serious threat.You scratch some up. It's more like cotton than fiber glass to the touch, but has a strange moist texture to it.
John squints his eyes in fruitless attempt to figure out what is that glittering stuff exactly, sighs and mutters:
- I would kill for binoculars right now.
He turns away from tall polygons and gives short instructions to Engine spirit, then turns to the others:
- Newsflash: engine spirit says he senses no god here, there's that. We're still in territories unknown to him. I spotted some airborne creatures, so keep an eye on the skies as well. Now, unless any of you express some interest to this place, we will be moving on. Or should we try and do something about those... let's call them buildings, for convenience?
Ask Engine spirit to walk the Warbeast slowly among the buildings, heading generally away from the wall of fog we through which came here. Continue observation.
"No way baby, this place is depressing. Let's go somewhere colourful and groovy!"
Keep covering right flank, also make sure to check the skies.
"Airborne creatures, you say?"There are several very large...sky...snakes...coming in. You hold off on shooting for the moment.
Scan the horizon for flying things, and be ready to aim a shot if need be.
"Gah, need to make more people fear me first I suppose. Tarmac, if you want drugs take a leaf off my plant."
Observe the inhabitants. What do they look like? If I have to wait for more detail until we get closer, so be it.
"Stupid universe making my smoke shorter. How the hell is that even a blunt? It isn't even sharp to begin with. Hey wait, that means it sorta worked." Tarmac rants.[1]
Believe the tobacco in half my cigarettes has been replaced by cannabis.
- Hold your fire!The creatures don't respond but they don't seem to be diving down at you with any real aggressive urgency. They're sort of lazily circling down toward you. But they do look intent on landing on the platform.
John says so, but his right hand already lies on the pistol handle. He whips his left arm forward, open palm facing the creatures, and shouts out to the approaching avian serpents:
- Creatures of the realm! We mean no harm, be not confused with our look! We are merely passing by!
Negotiate with creatures first. Should they attack us disregarding our effort to talk to them, start firing at them and tell others to do so.
Land between the armed people aboard the lovely warbeast.You touch down on the platform.
"SON OF A BITCH!" Tarmac exclaims before his attention is drawn to the approaching flying snakes.You run over to where the engine spirit is tied onto the war beast and brandish your spike.
If those snakes get hostile, take out my anger at not having cigarettes on them by stabbing them with my spike if they get in range. Defend the Engine Spirit.
examine snakes with mild disdain for not being fish then continue patrol of barbecue-that-which-offends me
dance, shake my booty at the snakes. If they get attack our group shoot at them, without booty shaking.You point your butt in the air and shake it forcefully at the descending snakes.
Hyenakles growls.You take aim but don't fire.
Take aim at the nearest sky snake. Be ready to shoot it.
Observe reactions of sky snakes. Make sure my molotovs are ready to throw at a moment's notice if they prove hostile.You get out your lighter and keep it close to the cloth wick of the molotov.
"Flying snakes huh? Looks like this place might be pretty groovy after all!"(([1] It turns out that dancing is a capital offence in snakeland. They're probably just jealous because unlike you, they have no booty to shake.
stop aiming at snakes, instead dance a little disco jig to show our good intent.
dance a little disco jig to show our good intent.
John turns completely to Hyenakles and Flamengo.((Killjoy.))
- Listen. We are going to offer them one language sample at a time. One. Got that? Common language doesn't work, we go over Hynakles's growling, Canine language as known by Mr. Bird, and if that doesn't work, we proceed to booty shaking. You knew bees communicate that way? Well stop, they might consider that a way to communicate too. Are we clear?
Xankarvo steps forward to the front, because him talking is a great idea.You walk up and talk to them. They seem to understand.
"This language is the one we understand."
Give them a language sample to work off of.
"Hey Engine Spirit, you understand any of those languages? You think you could do translation?""I understood a few of those tongues, but not all of them."
If it can, get the Engine Spirit to ask the snake things if they have cigarettes.
Once these other incompetents fail at communication with the snakes, save the day with knowledge of Lupine. Getting a lot of mileage out of that, aren't I?I don't know if snakes speak dog.
"This is the one you speak, is it?"
We mean no harm.
Says he and attacks!
"Ah, I see we are beholding educated gentlesnakes. Well met, gentlesnakes. What is the law of the land and what must we do to avoid any sort of unpleasantness with the people of this fine heaven?"
"This is the one you speak, is it?"
- Yes, we do. I'm John. These are my comrades, I think they'll introduce themselves as they see fit. We are passing through your realm. We mean no harm.
Chit-chat
"Yes, this is the language we understand. Some of our comrades may speak differently - the penguin for one - but all of us can understand this tongue.
I am Xankarvo, a wizard of great power. The others as John said will introduce themselves but to put it to a point we've all sworn a vow to find the First Heaven and the First God. We came along this place upon our journey there."
Stand there talking
Flamenco waves at the snakes
"Hello, snakey snakes! My name is Flamenco, and it's super great to meet you! Would you mind if I danced with you?"
If they don't mind, dance a disco jig with them! If they do mind, ask them why
"I am Tarmac. This is the Engine Spirit. Hey, do you have any cigarettes?"
Talky stuff. Believe I have cigarettes.
"Rar grar bark grrr"
Talking snake creatures deserve a second look introduce self as king of all bears in bear
Listen. Believe in the power of a nice cigar. Preferably Cuban.
"Where'd you get it from?"
"Maybe we could clear off one of these platforms, get some dirt, and I could grow my own. And by 'grow my own', I mean 'believe it can grow itself'. And I'll think about it, Xankarvo, but I'm saving that for if I run out of all other drug procuring options."
"Where is this Most High of yours? And why is it a crime for minds to intrude upon your domain?Crime perhaps is not the word.
We will of course accompany you," he finishes, glaring pointedly at the others.
Talk!
Listen. Believe in the power of a nice cigar. Preferably Cuban.You lack the faith to materialize objects, friend.
- Yes. If this is what we need to pass through in peace and consent, we will do that. How do we enter the presence of Most High?
John glances at Xankarvo, then on the gladius swords piled up on one of the beds under the roof of the platform, suggesting silently.
Talk. Should we head out to meet Most High, take my bag with me.
"Yep, ignorance, that's me!"You dance the dance of waiting.
Keep dancing. Follow group/snakes if they wish to lead us to this high one
Hyenakles glares at the Salthe.
"Tell us more about this Most High of yours. Is he a God? The God? Just a King? I'd like to know."
Probe for information
Go sniff the possibly narcotic plant. Believe it is super cannabis. Then go with the others.((Getting sky-high before a meeting with the most important person of the realm. That'll go well.))
Go sniff the possibly narcotic plant. Believe it is super cannabis. Then go with the others.You think it might be...some sort of weak kind of cannabis. Maybe.
"Then I shall make sure to rectify that swiftly. Where is the Most High? I would rather proceed to them under my own power if only out of prudence."
Going on our own pls
"I would rather not put my life in the hands of some freaky sky-snake I've only just met. No offense."If it is your wish, then we will honor it.
Vote to go on our own
"That's the gist of it."There are some snake people who seem to be doing their best to merge with the ground. That is some hard core reverence.
Look around. Is there anything else interesting in the room?
see if we've got a clear run to the warbeast.
((Actually some of us (ahem ahem smart me) had the war east lift us up to the plateau. So we do have a theoretical escape in a dramatic jump.))see if we've got a clear run to the warbeast.
((We were carried up through the air by Salthe on our way here, we are in a flying shere, so unlikely.))
Of the sake of time, lets just say that you all get up there; Most by being carried, a few by carefully maneuvering the warbeast in and then having it lift them up. And one by flying.Checkmate
Of the sake of time, lets just say that you all get up there; Most by being carried, a few by carefully maneuvering the warbeast in and then having it lift them up. And one by flying.Checkmate
Yep. This was how he was gonna die! Should have known better! Should have known better than to shack up with any gang of assholes who came riding in from nowhere!
Not that it mattered, of course, as long as he would be reborn somewhere. And being killed by fanatic snakes is probably better than being eaten in that regard.
"Ah. I don't suppose there are any pleasant alternatives to mandatory fruitification, are there?"
If not, attempt to fly out of this temple. Maybe the lightning doesn't go through walls, you never know.
Upon seeing the hostile intentions, whether purposefully or not, of the Most High, Xankarvo quietly sighs for a second. Then his eyes light up with a manic fervour.
"YOU MAY SERVE AS KINDLING FOR MY FLAMES!"
Burninate the heart! Good thing I prepped all my fire stuff already. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOErZuzZpS8)
Then book it to cover fast as I can.
"You trying to make me fruity? Oh, you're definitely getting penetrated now."
Stab the heart with my spike, preferably nor while getting burninated. Then eat it like a cherry. Or try to dodge/run away if I miss.
Drop on all fours, and sprint away as fast as my hyena legs can carry me.
"Groovy"
Follow John's example and skedaddle. Sprint away from the most high one and back towards where we entered. Once outside, make sure I go left or right so as not to run along the opening in the door. Then observe what happens, and see if we've got a clear run to the warbeast.
John's eyes go wide and he just stands there until the Most High is done talking again. Then he turns around and takes off without saying a word.[3,2,1,6,2,4]
Run for it. Down some of that nitro fuel while I'm at it.
Assuming I'm not fruitified by the lightning bolt, hide behind the gate, or any cover there is to be found once I max out the distance between me the the Most High, drop off the right gauntlet, take the Engraved gun. Embrace the cutting edges of that engraving. Try to land a shot on the Most High, the heart of it, while the nitro is still in my system to help me with that.
(Well, that's that then.)[5]
Be some spicy fruit, so spicy that any who eat me will dance in pain!
Everyone: Keep rolling badly.No No No everyone say "Fruit Me"
((Use the warbeast to destroy the structure fromorbitthe ground. It's the only way to be sure.
Or maybe just throw a well aimed rock at the most high's home.))
((Good thinking. I'm certain that a slow moving giant quadruped is the perfect getaway vehicle when you're being chased by flying snakes on a plane (of existence).))
"Bloody bastards! Savages, the lot of you! Maniacs!" Mr. Bird thinks out loud.[4]
Fly away! Fly like the pretty bird I am and always will be!
To the warbeast! Let ol' Warby be my shield!
- FLY YOU FOOLS! - John screams on top of his lungs as he rushes to Warbeast.
Get the fuck back to Warbeast. Urge Engine Spirit to move us, and move us fast.
((Hey people of the thread, a question. Does anyone use the wiki page? I feel like I'm missing some details now and then when updating it, and they pile up and lead to confusion.
Is it useful for something except waitlist, actually?))
Xankarvo promptly turns about and makes a quick retreat.[3]
"MARK MY WORDS, FLOATING BLOOD FRUIT-OBSESSED PUSTULE! I WILL BE BACK, AND I WILL REND YOU TO BITS AND DEVOUR YOU AND LEAVE YOUR CHILDREN TO STARVE AT MY FEET! YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED!
Run for it back to the warbeast, get as far into cover as I can.Spoiler: Xankarvo Grudge List (click to show/hide)
((I thought I got +1 to using the spike, Piecewise. Or is that not on natural 1's?))(I suppose if we wanna count the spike in your +1 we can assume you just did nothing that round, since it would be a 2 instead of a 1.)
"GET IN MAH BELLY!"
Eat that damn heart. Stab aggressors with the myriad syringes that I probably still have somewhere. Failing that, run away.
Knew those slithering fucks couldn't be trusted.
Hyenakles runs to the cockpit, and hastily commands the engine spirit:
"Things took a turn for the nasty in there. The penguin's dead, Xankarvo's probably dead, and unless the yellow guy is good at running, well, he's gonna be dead too. Not sure about the Johns, or Mr. Bird, but I'm not optimistic.
I need you to pilot the warbeast, smack down any snakes that come at us in the next few minutes. We're going to give the others five, maybe six minutes or so to get out here, and then we're leaving. We can't afford to wait on anyone too stupid to run. Alright?"
As an afterthought, he adds, "...and if we survive, I'm going to try to make this up to you. I just need you to do as I say, ok?"
See if I can grab a sword in my talons or something similar while still maintaining flight. If yes, help with defense.You can indeed.
And if not, scarper low and scarper far while the large target that is the warbeast presents a distraction.
Don that armor I was saving.You armor up, grab a rifle and take cover in the doorway to the main building.
Take a position of relative cover, and try sniping snakes. If that's clearly not gonna happen, retreat to safety. If, at any point, a snake swoops at me, either bash it with my deer shank or thrust my spear at it.
- Alright, throw Xankarvo in here and start moving! Salthe are after us already.You charge the rest of a clip worth of bullets and grab a rifle and ammo. You stick a helmet on and brace yourself against a railing, taking aim.
Talk to Engine Spirit. Then take the pause to "charge" nine rounds for my Engraved gun with blood and fully load the clip with those. Also, find that second rifle and a box of ammo, keep those close too. That done, put on helmet (now I should be in full armor set, save for right gauntlet) get a hold of something with left hand and start firing at Salthe, the places they concentrate the most.
Once the warbeast deposits me back in the building on it, try to imbue my remaining molotovs with increased flammitude with my sheer anger. If I don't have any molotovs left try enhancing the other weaponry or something. Sheer anger, baby!The warbeast deposits you onto the main platform just outside the building.
Oh and actually indicate to someone to take my molotovs if I have any left.Spoiler: Xankarvo Grudge List (click to show/hide)
"YOU BASTARD! MY MUNCHIES WERE IN THERE! NOW I'M GONNA MUNCH ON YOU!"[1] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eieOoUUl9RY)
Stab the heart with the spike, then eat it. Be distracting enough to buy time for the others to get away.
((Tarmac's last words were totally fitting for this quest. They should be, like, immortalized on the front page or the wiki or something.
Actually that's a pretty good idea - how about we have either the last words of dead individuals or a quote from them that perfectly encapsulates their character written by their death entry?))
((Those epitaphs are awesome by the way, Comrade.))((Thanks!))
((Hey Comrade, might I please bug you for fanart of Tarmac ' s last stand? I think it'd be neat to have, but I don't want you to do it if you don't feel like it.))
((You clearly need to record few of those classes and set up simulated enviroment somewhere.))((Hey Comrade, might I please bug you for fanart of Tarmac ' s last stand? I think it'd be neat to have, but I don't want you to do it if you don't feel like it.))
((I'll try. The thing with my fanarts is, I can only do them while listening to the most boring classes I currently have. They just don't come out of me the way I want them to at any other time I try to draw. So it won't come this weekend, but it will occur eventually. Tarmac is not that difficult to draw, but the Most high might be tricky.
Also, thanks DocMcTaalik.))
((I'm not even going to bring up the +1 to spike use again. That link was too perfect. You been waiting to use that one, PW?))I actually had the power pellet sound effect too, if you managed to succeed on that roll. That would have been cool.
Shoot the incoming snakes.
- That's for those you killed, Most High, your arrogant fuckness. I HAVE SOME FOR YOUR PEOPLE TOO!
Keep firing into thickness of Slathe. Be sure that there is some distance between me and the rest of the party.
((I'm considering another course of action. I need to think about it. Just be aware that this post might change drastically.
EDIT: I'll stick with the current action for the upcoming turn. Then we'll see.))
Continue distracting and hurting the Salthe! They are shaken! Only half of them still fight!
Be filled with righteous fervor! Believe that the bullets are doing more damage!6,1,6,3
Basically try buffing because can't fight with no functional arms.Spoiler: Xankarvo Grudge List (click to show/hide)
((I know you have the grudge list on the wiki, I just wanna keep it in the posts to make sure I stay properly IC for Xankarvo - man never lets go of his grudges until the offender is bloodied and broken at his feet.))
((Hey Comrade, might I please bug you for fanart of Tarmac ' s last stand? I think it'd be neat to have, but I don't want you to do it if you don't feel like it.))
>Hyenakles: stay in cover, out of sight of Salthe. Get a molotov from Xan, go through John's stuff (the bag he left on somewhere in the building) for his lighter and be ready to light and toss the molotov towards him should they attack him all at once while he's on the floor.
((OOC: Bump))
((OOC: Bump))
((Piecewise is busy with his studies now. He said that he'll get a break tomorrow. Just you wait.))
((From now on, call me LieutenantIs that rage? Is that desperation? Is that a fearful countenance on the face of a man who just blew up a demigod? Hmm.DanJohn :P))
That's it. I'm not going anywhere now. I'm done for. I CAN'T KEEP GOING ON THE ROAD WITHOUT MY LEGS!
Thoughts of this sort are the only ones in his head for a couple of moments, those few seconds after the impact he had before the initial shock stepped down to give room for all the agonising pain. After a series of incoherent screams, the first word to be said more or less distinctively is followed immediately by an action.
- AAAARGHMOTHERFUCKER! - John screams, incapacitated. I'm assuming everything from the knees down is a oil-bloody burnt mess now, right? While still on the ground, he rolls over to his back and keeps firing up at snakes. With his free hand he does his best to gesture something like "stand down" to others.((Hey Comrade, might I please bug you for fanart of Tarmac ' s last stand? I think it'd be neat to have, but I don't want you to do it if you don't feel like it.))Spoiler: Hey Beirus, I got you that pic you asked about! (click to show/hide)
Do you have faith?
Xankarvo has many things toward John. Anger, the unending constant always with him. Envy. Distant approval for the competent actions he's done. Gratitude and yet unreasoning rage for possibly stealing HIS grudge.Faith doesn't really imply subservience, just belief in something regardless of what reality might seem to be.
But faith?
In anyone but himself?
No. Not with such a paltry display like this, for a man that has been serving him (from his perspective) for less than a week.
Not in anyone but himself.
He wishes John luck, obviously, because his success directly impacts Xankarvo's own survival, but faith implies subservience, and Xankarvo will never bow to anyone no matter how many limbs he is missing.
Do you have faith?
Floating glowing glass orb cannot have faith in John, as it has not met him.
((You are not witnessing John. Your opinion is disqualified. Wait just a little longer, chances are you're going to be in the next bunch of yahoos party stumbles upon.))
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHAWpKFtbjoFloating glowing glass orb cannot have faith in John, as it has not met him.
((You are not witnessing John. Your opinion is disqualified. Wait just a little longer, chances are you're going to be in the next bunch of yahoos party stumbles upon.))
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHAWpKFtbjo
Do you have faith?
Mr. Bird has faith (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ISHYtccEs0).
Oh. In that case yeah, the gun John wields (must steal when he dies) blew up a big rock pillar, and the Salthe are reeling from the loss of their God. Xankarvo certainly believes that John's capable of killing them all.
3 out of four ain't bad. Lets roll.Do you have faith?
Hyenakles certainly doesn't (or, wouldn't). John's down two legs; the best he can do is take a few Salthe out with him.
((Huh. I actually thought that gun was an automatic for some reason.))Is it? I always had it in my head as a revolver, but now that you mention it, I seem to remember describing it otherwise before...hmm.
((Huh. I actually thought that gun was an automatic for some reason.))Is it? I always had it in my head as a revolver, but now that you mention it, I seem to remember describing it otherwise before...hmm.
OHWELLHELLMAGICWHATCHAGONNADO.
((Nine round revolver can be a thing.))
((Nine round revolver can be a thing.))((Specifically a magazine, not revolving cylinder.))
"And I'm supposed to hold this gun with my boneless arm, is that it?"
He sighs.
"I'm not going to refuse, but this is going to impair my speech capability."
((Wait how am I gonna hold it then? I've got no grasping things.
...put it in one of my pockets perhaps?))
From: GHermann//UNATCO.15431.76513
To: JManderley//UNATCO.00013.76490
Cc: ANavarre//UNATCO.9954.1131
Subject: Skul-gun
Might I sugest agin, a skul-gun for my head. Yesterday in Battery Park, some scum we all know pushes smack for NSF gets jumpy and draws. I take 2 .22's, 1 in flesh, 1 in augs, befor I can get out that dam asalt gun.
If I could kil just by thought, it would be beter. Is it my job to be a human target-practis backstop?
Gunther Hermann
((Wait how am I gonna hold it then? I've got no grasping things.))
-snip-((Was... Was that first Deus Ex game reference?))
-snip-((Was... Was that first Deus Ex game reference?))
"Well, that ought to teach the bloody bastards a lesson. Fruitify our comrades, will they? Bastardly things."You've evaded your pursuers. Would you like for the war beast to just barrel on through to the next area or is one of you gonna take the reigns and guide it in, so to speak?
Now, is our retreat still of the fighting sort or does this take care of all of them for now?
You crawl across the deck and into the barracks on the back. You get yourself a jerry can of fuel and chug a good amount. You feel...well you honestly felt pretty ok before, but you feel just dandy now.((Huh. I actually thought that gun was an automatic for some reason.))Is it? I always had it in my head as a revolver, but now that you mention it, I seem to remember describing it otherwise before...hmm.
OHWELLHELLMAGICWHATCHAGONNADO.
((Sooooo should I act like I had a revolver all along, for the ease of interaction? I can roll with a revolver, really.))
John just kinda lies there, breathing in and out rather loudly. Then he sits and looks down at his stumps, then at his gun. There is a mix of emotions on his face, mostly positive ones - amazement with what just happened, joy of escaping painful death, ambition even, when his sight follows patterns engraved on a gun. He looks at his legs with less enthusiasm, but given how his sight is reaching into the pile of raw material in the building, he is probably sketching himself some simple prosthetics already. He wiggles his stumps a little, ensuring himself he still has knees. He smiles at that.
He opens his mouth and tries to say something, but starts coughing instead. When he stops and tries to talk again, he sounds different, hoarse, as if he'd smoke a pack a day since his school years. Probably should've kept his mouth shut during that fiery display he just had.
- I still got a few miles ahead of me before I'm changing my ride, - he taps himself on chest lightly when referring to "his ride".
- Stay sharp, they aren't all gone yet. Even though I doubt they are going to fuck with us... with me anymoreGoCrawl drink some gas. Pass empty gun to Xan. Then see if we have wooden blocks about foot long and metal straps capable of bending with human strength lying around.
If some mofos are still after us, get that rifle and start shooting.
...interesting.I'm gonna assume it gets pocketed before you accidently tongue the trigger and we have torso Xan, the most angry nubblet wizard.
Xankarvo walks over to John.
"Grab onto my torso, that'll do in the absence of any prosthetics for now."Form the Amputee Voltron! Then get back into cover, of course.
Unless there's still some pursuing us in which case stay in cover.
Never mind that, stay in cover and take John's gun. Hold it - BY THE GRIP NOT WITH THE BARREL POINTING ANYWHERE NEAR ME - in my mouth, since I can't currently hold shit with my disabled/missing arms. Don't cut my throat or anything on the sharp edges; maybe instead hold it by the safest non-sharp part I can. Or just have John put it in my pocket. Yeah do that.
((While being the most accurate rendition of Monty Python's Black Knight I've pulled off thus far would be pretty fucking funny, I do think it's for the best the gun gets pocketed.
MY GUN NOW NEVER GETTING IT BACK MEMEHEHEMEHMEHEMEHWMWJEJJWE))
An armless car wanderer
- So you fellas had that oath, huh? So far it only brings death to those involved, have you considered that, Xankarvo?"You might as well say fire brings burns. Of course travelling across the afterlife is a risky business."
"You might as well say fire brings burns. Of course travelling across the afterlife is a risky business."
"You might as well say fire brings burns. Of course travelling across the afterlife is a risky business."
"Huh. So a variable instrument that depends on the power of the blood... I feel as if preparing bullets before a confrontation would be a good idea with it. It varies based on how powerful the wielder is, I expect?"
((AUTOCORRECT
MEANT TO TYPE BULLETS NOT BUCKETS))
Anyone ever seen crippled masters? No? Alright.((Aw, for a moment I thought you meant Crippled Avengers and got all excited... I'll have to watch this one, now, too.))
"For now let's just see what the next realm brings. For all we know there could be some places we can get prosthetics from."
"Gun powered by blood, and nobody thought to collect any from the giant fucking heart back there. What a shame.
"No, I think all we did was mutually shed blood and swear we'd get to the First Heaven whatever came our way. Like cut our hands a bit. We might have killed someone to seal the deal, I'm not sure."
To the other side!
"I say we just go see what it is; we're running low on food and water as it is. If we delay too much longer we might start to go hungry."
"Perhaps we could have the warbeast begin clearing some of the rubble?"
((Why my first thought after reading description was "That's too nice, everything must be secretly poisoned or something is lying in wait and wants to catch us off guard".))He has not.
- Obvious question: are we calling it a day and getting some sleep or should we investigate that stuff over there? Your call, people.
Inuire if Engine Spirit recalls this place. Probably not, since it doesn't look like much, but they don't charge money for asking here. Take the driver's seat of Warbeast for better view, make it walk slowly towards the glowy ruins.
"I am also eager to get functioning arms and by my reckoning that place is the most likely place here to have replacements."[2]Speaking of which, try shooting fire again. Only this time try to breathe it! Focus with all my mind and belief that I am capable of shooting flames out of my mouth as scalding as the insults I dish out!
Actually hold on a tic, fire, while mesmerizing and intoxicating and delicious, isn't the key to solving some/all of my problems depending on how far I'm able to abuse it. Xan speaks of of course the infinitely stretchable power of telekinesis! Focus on a small object that's fairly light - a stray pebble or something like that. Make it lift off the platform without touching it. Believe as hard as I can that it's going to lift!
"Looks nice, if a bit flat. Maybe this one doesn't want to eat us. But wait, good chaps, I shall fly and take a look. If I do not return, assume that the place wants us dead."You fly over toward the stones. On closer inspection they appear to be ruins; fallen stone pillars and walls that appear to have each been carved out of a single unbroken slab or rock. They're quite moss covered and overgrown with vegetation, clearly long abandoned. Hard to tell if they're native to this heaven or if they were the product of some intelligent species which once inhabited the area. The light is coming from a small fire built atop a fallen slab of stone. There are three figures standing around it. You can't make out what they look like in any detail from the height of your flight, but they appear to be looking out toward the war beast, no doubt straining their vision against the dark and trying to see what exactly is making all that noise
Reconnaissance! Fly toward the stony ruins and get some visual info from closer up. Return with scouting information once I feel satisfied with my fine work.
How are you guys low on food? Didn't you get a big ass supply from the Lupine?
Was there a victory feast somewhere between those posts I wasn't invited to?\
Return triumphantly!
"Right, lads, looks like there's three strangers grouped around a small fire in the middle of some ancient, long-abandoned ruins - that is, abandoned long enough to be mossy and very authentic-looking. They could be fake, however. Visible dangers are minimal, so I suggest we remain on high alert for bloody horrors from untold nethers."
Return triumphantly!You return and tell the tale of the time you saw three guys.
"Right, lads, looks like there's three strangers grouped around a small fire in the middle of some ancient, long-abandoned ruins - that is, abandoned long enough to be mossy and very authentic-looking. They could be fake, however. Visible dangers are minimal, so I suggest we remain on high alert for bloody horrors from untold nethers."
You lay the loaded rifle across your lap and tell the engine spirit to direct the warbeast towards the ruins. You attempt to throw in some captain-ish talk to make yourself seem more fitting of the position. You give up on that after flubbing for a few moments with which side is starboard.How are you guys low on food? Didn't you get a big ass supply from the Lupine?
Was there a victory feast somewhere between those posts I wasn't invited to?\
((Not that I'm aware of. Xankarvo is just delusional on that matter.))Return triumphantly!
"Right, lads, looks like there's three strangers grouped around a small fire in the middle of some ancient, long-abandoned ruins - that is, abandoned long enough to be mossy and very authentic-looking. They could be fake, however. Visible dangers are minimal, so I suggest we remain on high alert for bloody horrors from untold nethers."
- Alright. Thank you, Mr. Bird. Hyenakles, keep weapons on display, look threatening, you're our muscles now, I guess. Should they express aggression, I'll try to make Warbeast squash them first, if they evade, open fire. Xan, if you won't feel the overwhelming urge to interrupt, I'd appreciate if you would leave the talking to me this time.
Chamber a round into the rifle and keep it loaded on my lap while I'm in the chair. Make Warbeast approach the strangers in a calm manner, take a good look on them when they are in sight. If they won't be aggresive, or would want to talk, make the warbeast crouch or something, lower it's body so we could get off it easily.
((Yeah, Xankarvo and I forgot entirely about that.))[2]
Xankarvo continues staring at the pebble and responds distractedly.
"I'll leave the talking to you, yes. Got something better to do."
Settle in for the long haul, 'cause I'm lifting this pebble with my mind one way or the other. Now lift! Lift! Hnnnnnnnnnng!
"I'm Dave. And what's a dino?"
((Hint: Dave is from 1600s. He has no idea what a dinosaur is.))
((Hint: John is from somewhere between 1990 and 2010, and he had no clue about where Dave came from :).))
"Weight? Huh? What are you talking about? And what's that thing you're riding?" Dave takes another bite of grass.
"Oh. Uh. I don't know; never tried to carry a lot! Sorry; this is a bit distracting! I thought it was just us three out here."
-snip-
"Eh why not? If it's the whim of the universe to periodically give us more meatshields I can accept that."
"Well if you could get us out of this hole that would be appreciated, we would be happy to join you, and help out in anyway possible. I can be thrown at enemies and then roll back to you."John mutters:
"I dunno. What exactly are you fellows up to?"
"Well, that's more than I know what I'm doing! What the hell; I've always been up for travel."
"Cool. Got any rum, by chance? I haven't had a drink since I got this body. C'mon, rock man."
"What is Booze, it doesn't sound natural?"
Brandish my deer shank in one hand, and the rifle in the other. Glare intently at the shapes on the pillar.Thats a rather frightening image. A hyena man with a gun in one hand and a half a gazelle in the other glaring down at you atop a giant monster.
"NNNNNNNNG"
LIFT DAMN YOU
Spread wings in awesome pose as we get closer. If they can't see me, it will be by no fault of mine.You do your best figurehead impression on the front of the beast.
I admire your attempts but lets give this one more day and if he doesn't show up, we'll just switch him out with the next person in line. Whoever that is."I'm Dave. And what's a dino?"
((Hint: Dave is from 1600s. He has no idea what a dinosaur is.))
((Hint: John is from somewhere between 1990 and 2010, and he had no clue about where Dave came from :).))
- Alright, Dave. Think you can handle the weight? 180 pounds? That's, what, 80 kilograms?
((Let's spice things up a little))
>Reynard the Blade (Wolfkit) (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=151279.msg6290305#msg6290305): lose self control when seeing Human, try to climb up the crouching Warbeast and stab the human (John) with collar blade, because hungry. Make aggressive sounds.
>John: let the fox come close, the shoot it at point-blanc range; if it never reaches me and falls from the beast and stays immobile on ground for a while, also shoot it. If it is up on the platform, I shot and missed, hit it hard with buttstock.
Consider them scooped and deposited."Eh why not? If it's the whim of the universe to periodically give us more meatshields I can accept that."
Another nod goes to Xan."Well if you could get us out of this hole that would be appreciated, we would be happy to join you, and help out in anyway possible. I can be thrown at enemies and then roll back to you."John mutters:
- You would be one hell of a find if we had a bloody trebuchet...
Okay, make warbeast carefully pick all these fellas and put them on the platform.
I admire your attempts but lets give this one more day and if he doesn't show up, we'll just switch him out with the next person in line. Whoever that is.
Xankarvo's teeth grit. His eyes bulge. Veins pulse in his head. He can feel the cosmos denying him and it displeases him immensely.
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG"
LIIIIIFT
PEBBLE
WITH
MIIIIIIIINNNNNNDDDDD
-snip-
"There is? Fantastic! Hope you don't mind if I have a sip."
"There is? Fantastic! Hope you don't mind if I have a sip."
Head to barracks; partake in some booze. Like... two shots worth.
"There is? Fantastic! Hope you don't mind if I have a sip."
- Just don't drink from the big barrel filled with liquid and nearby jerry can, it's gasoline in there! Better know it now, while you're sober.
Mr. Bird: "Accidentally" coat at least one of the newcomers in bird crap whilst flying overhead.[3]
Xankarvo's teeth grit. His eyes bulge. Veins pulse in his head. He can feel the cosmos denying him and it displeases him immensely.
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG"
LIIIIIFT
PEBBLE
WITH
MIIIIIIIINNNNNNDDDDD
[5]Xankarvo's teeth grit. His eyes bulge. Veins pulse in his head. He can feel the cosmos denying him and it displeases him immensely.
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG"
LIIIIIFT
PEBBLE
WITH
MIIIIIIIINNNNNNDDDDD
Take pity on this poor man and lift his pebble with my mind.
"Why thank you people, spirits whatever, now if you'll excuse me I'm going to find a nice corner to stick myself in."You wedge yourself in the corner.
Plop myself in a corner so I don't fall off the platforms
"There is? Fantastic! Hope you don't mind if I have a sip."(http://new2.fjcdn.com/pictures/Alcoholic+dino_a67004_4735773.jpg)
Head to barracks; partake in some booze. Like... two shots worth.
"Aaaaahhh yeahhh thass the stufffzzzzz..."
Note to self, choke bird to death later. See how he likes it when other people abuse telekinesis to his disadvantage.
((Re: The Pebble: you gotta be kidding me.))Sounds like you didn't have FAITH
((Re: The Pebble: you gotta be kidding me.))Sounds like you didn't have FAITH
((Gotta practice that doublethink))((Re: The Pebble: you gotta be kidding me.))Sounds like you didn't have FAITH
((I am now imagining a skeleton singing an inspirational Disney-style song about faith.))((Re: The Pebble: you gotta be kidding me.))Sounds like you didn't have FAITH
"Aaaaahhh yeahhh thass the stufffzzzzz..."
The afterlife is a place molded by strange inherent magics, but FAITH builds gods.((I am now imagining a skeleton singing an inspirational Disney-style song about faith.))((Re: The Pebble: you gotta be kidding me.))Sounds like you didn't have FAITH
((So is that something inherent to the universe those guys used to live in or is it only related to the afterlife?))The afterlife is a place molded by strange inherent magics, but FAITH builds gods.((I am now imagining a skeleton singing an inspirational Disney-style song about faith.))((Re: The Pebble: you gotta be kidding me.))Sounds like you didn't have FAITH
((I am now imagining a skeleton singing an inspirational Disney-style song about faith.))((I got your song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kfpE8xYBmY), man, now find some skeletons))
Be a rock in the corner of the room.
((So basically, believing enough creates gods. AKA, you guys are in the warp. Good luck with that.))
((Considering that at this point you're kinda the team leader, I don't doubt you'll get something like that.))
"See, friend, that's the way you do it. Probably less practical than just picking it up, but for an armless man I suppose you don't have many alternatives?"You flap around. It's hard to tell at night like this, but the ruins appear to have collapsed simply from age rather then any sort of violence. They also seem incomplete, that is to say you can't tell what they originally were. There are no nice foundations for homes, and the stone pillars are so large yet seem to lack anything to hold up. There's no collapsed stone roof or higher levels, just a bunch of fallen pillars, almost henge like in their distribution.
That done, fly down and check the ruins out more closely.
I don't know what that would do, honestly."Aaaaahhh yeahhh thass the stufffzzzzz..."
- Brilliant. Drunkard dino.
Now what that glass ball is supposed to be? Is it a person?
Go check Egan out. Pick him up and look at the brain encapsulated. Give the orb a few gentle shakes, like if it was a giant snowglobe.
Xankarvo doesn't react to Mr. Bird's statement or really acknowledge him outwardly.[4]
Note to self, choke bird to death later. See how he likes it when other people abuse telekinesis to his disadvantage.
Fuckit then, light the damn thing on fire!
With my mind. My currently blazing anger should help.
Don't let the strange man pick me up. Shouldn't be hard, considering he does not currently have legs.You can hover and pick things up without limbs? That should prove useful.
HurHuum hovers onto the "ship" along with a pencil and notepad.
"Hmm."
You take the bottle away from the dino. It's pretty easy since the thing has no arms or hands. Come to think of it, how did he even get the bottle open? Hmm."Aaaaahhh yeahhh thass the stufffzzzzz..."
"Hey, keep your grubby soolnds out of the booze! Greedy animal."
Confiscate the dino's booze.
"Eeeeeh it's good... I'll have more later. Can't drink it aaaaalll at oncccceee, eh?"You're feeling just stupor, thanks for asking.
Enjoy the liquor-induced stupor.
HurHuum floats beside John and shows him a worn page from its notebook.
"Hmm?"Hello
What are you?/called
"Right, chaps, seems like these here ruins are bloody useless in every possible way. Let's be moving on?"
"Uhhhh... mostly just graassss here. Pretty tasty, though ssssometimes it ww-wuh-whispers."
- This big fella you're standing on, Warbeast we call it, obeys commands of our Engine Spirit, and we communicate with it...
Warbeast starts walking again, and John continues:
- We walk away in 20-feet steps.
HurHuum makes a cheerful sound before returning to its notepad.HurHuum floats beside John and shows him a worn page from its notebook.
"Hmm?"Hello
What are you?/called
- So you can do that, huh? Good enough. I'm John, the driver for this outfit.
"Howja get here anyway?"
What happened to your legs?
other man's arms
Hmm. Does it seem to be hot at all? Heated or summat?It's...kinda warm.
In any case, try once more.
((Just so y'all know I'm without internet at my house for 5 days so I'll be a little sparse with actual posts until then. I should be able to get actions in, there's wifi at work, but until then.))
Fly back up to the warbeast's back.Welp, back you go.
"Right, chaps, seems like these here ruins are bloody useless in every possible way. Let's be moving on?"
"Uhhhh... mostly just graassss here. Pretty tasty, though ssssometimes it ww-wuh-whispers."Hey guys...hey guys, we going anywhere any time soon?
Enjoy the long-lost feeling of drunkenness.
The boxes or the bullets?HurHuum floats beside John and shows him a worn page from its notebook.
"Hmm?"Hello
What are you?/called
- So you can do that, huh? Good enough. I'm John, the driver for this outfit."Right, chaps, seems like these here ruins are bloody useless in every possible way. Let's be moving on?"
- If you say so..."Uhhhh... mostly just graassss here. Pretty tasty, though ssssometimes it ww-wuh-whispers."
- Yep. Definitely moving on. Anything else seem finicky to you about that place?
Get back to command chair, sit there with rifle on my lap and keep watch for now while the Warbeast marches on. Not running, like on our way here, just walking by at its cruising speed.
Also: we have these boxes for rifle bullets. Are they made of tin or zinc or something like that?
Examine the room Im in, any chance I could fall off the warbeast in this room?Eh...I don't wanna say no, but if you did it would involve the war beast tilting at least 90 degrees so chances are if that happens you have more to worry about.
The boxes or the bullets?
Also, which way you wanna go from the ruins? Just keep going straight on, or change direction?
The boxes are made out of...well you're not entirely sure. It's metal, silvery, light but also very thin. Could be aluminum? Or maybe Steel? Or maybe Tin? Hard to say honestly. Could be some kind of metal that only exists somewhere here in the afterlife. You get the feeling that your gun is made of something like that.The boxes or the bullets?
Also, which way you wanna go from the ruins? Just keep going straight on, or change direction?
Straight on for now. If we come across some road, or if we can see one from where we are (fat chance, it's night), follow the road.
Also, the boxes. I want to know what boxes are made of.
Test how high up this platform is. Can I "see" the ground from here using my echolocation?Nope.
((Friendly reminder that my character in also blind :P))
Get over my fear of falling off the warbeast and go onto a deck. Be another pair of eyes examining the surroundings[6]
"So where are we going?
Wander the "ship." How much of the edibles are plant based?A fair bit of the food is plant based. Fruits, mostly.
I HAVE FAITH IN THE ME THAT HAS FAITH IN MYSELF THAT HAS FAITH THAT I'M GOING TO LIGHT THIS FUCKING ROCK ON FIRE[2]
Xankarvo angrily denies the constraints of mediocrity and common sense.
"I'm not going in there alone. I'll take the Dino guy with me, and Mr. Bird, if he wants."
"What in blazes is a dino?"
Spoiler: Time to make some peg legs (two of them) (click to show/hide)
"I hear ye wish to head ashore. You mateys shall bring me along to explore thee ruins."
((Next Level Dave: A barrel of rum with a horn sticking out the top.))
((Next up: Next Level Hyenakles.)
Fly around, do high-altitude surveys of the area. Watch out for nearby features of the landscape.There are lots of these ruins, and from the air it's easier to make out their general shape. Luckily the ground is a dully glowing field of flowers or it would be impossible to see at night like this. The ruins appear to trace a squarish shape across a large open area, and there are large pillars and bits of stone scattered about between them. There appears to be an indentation to the earth inside the perimeter created by these pillars.
[2]"I'm not going in there alone. I'll take the Dino guy with me, and Mr. Bird, if he wants."
- Good idea. Grab any weaponry you see fitting, I'll get the dino down.
Hyenakles should manage to get down form Warbeast himslef, others might require assistance - provide it.
While they're gone, start a fire if it's still dark. Then get to work.Spoiler: Time to make some peg legs (two of them) (click to show/hide)
"...perhaps if I murder someone and use their sacrifice to power my magic..."[4]
Contemplate murder-based methods of gaining the ability to manipulate fire. Would burning someone alive be better, or perhaps killing them and then setting their heart on fire and eating it? Dramatics seem to be important, after all.
"Oh, if you find any arm prosthetics bring them to me."
Spoiler: Time to make some peg legs (two of them) (click to show/hide)
((Too bad the other John got turned into fruit. We could have used those perfectly good legs of his.))
"Oh, and one other thing- seeing as how you can't hold it anyway, Xankarvo, I'd like to use your torch. If you don't mind."
Assuming Xan surrenders his arm torch, don that armor I was saving. With rifle, deer shank, and torch in tow, descend to the ruins.
"Hmm."
Follow hyena man and friends down. Hum a tune appropriate to the mood.
Dave dino-shrugged. "Oh. No hard feelings; I just had no inkling. How'd I never see one? I sailed over much of creation before I died and ended up... here."The warbeast lowers all of you down, placing you near the ruins.
Get down with exploration
Dave puts his head down and grabbed a big bite of greenery; drinking often made him hungry. He gave it a few lazy chews. "So... bigger than the others. What nnnnow?"((I wonder if you'll end up absorbing the flowers' glowiness. You know, like how some flowers can absorb color in their water. A glow-in-the-dark dino would be fun.))
Spoiler: What's that smell? (click to show/hide)
((Yo Doc, what do you think?))Spoiler: What's that smell? (click to show/hide)
((As a side note, I find it amusing how regular Hyenakles wears plate armor and carries some kind of fantasy rifle, while Next Level Hyenakles has nothing but a vest-kilt combo and a spear.))
"Yarrrr, what am I invisible, get back here you scurvy dogs ye forgot me. Yarrrr, well the rest of you can baton down the hatches, hoist the sails, and keep ye scurvy hands off me booty.
((Mr. Bird is perfection encapsulated. He is that he is. There is no next level for him.))
JOHN is filled with DETERMINATIONThere's some degree of irony that I've been toying with this game idea for quite a while but it comes out now right when another very popular game also comes out with a similar concept.
I have all the time in all the worlds.
Contemplate ways to assemble legs. Give the design some thought. Try to give those a little more sole surface than the standard "stick leg". Preferably come up with something like the design posted earlier, or better. Then proceed to carefully manufacturing parts with instruments at hand.
Hum a tune fit to fill my companions with DETERMINATION.I imagine that your humming sounds like a Theremin. (https://youtu.be/KgFsgkNmMg0?t=1m35s)
"Yes, that will work very well. I just need to obtain the necessary materials to initiate the first several fire-based deaths. And I'd suppose the mechanism would work relatively the same for most any other ability. Yes, I see. Conventional systems of magic must not exist here, this is the realm of souls after all. If belief is what makes one strong... motherfucker. I should've been the one to kill the heart. Note to self, observe John for changes of any kind."I was commissioned by The Conquering Great King to aid in the expansion of his kingdom. This form was created by an artisan, and my life was given by common decree. He decreed that I was alive and that I had the powers I do. And his subjects believed it."
...perhaps this is linked to what I was doing with the plant. Greater numbers of ... FAITHFUL leads to greater powers, no doubt. Almost a self-perpetuating cycle if you can control your story enough. Which means attempts like lifting a pebble are meaningless, one requires grandiose displays to achieve anything.
...I recall something."
Go find the Engine Spirit.
"Engine Spirit. I recall you said you were created by someone, but not who exactly. Who was it that made you?"
Search around for some kind of entrance. If I see anything shiny, poke it with my deer shank and see what happens.You're gonna be poking a lot of flowers then.
"Yarrrr, what am I invisible, get back here you scurvy dogs ye forgot me. Yarrrr, well the rest of you can baton down the hatches, hoist the sails, and keep ye scurvy hands off me booty.The ordering doesn't go so well.
Try to order the rest of the warbeast crew around and while I'm at it will a parrot, eyepatch, and pirate hat into being.
[5]
You make the legs and they are freaking perfect. Hell, they might be better than your shitty flesh legs used to be. They seem to move and act as though actually connected to you. You get no penalties while using them.
Look up. Does it seem like a god's bum is suspended up among the stars? Or something of a similar scale? Or has this hypothetical thing flown away/been stolen already?
If no clues present themselves, check out the pillars. Are they the sort that you'd expect to hold up a floor or a roof, or are they somehow peculiar?
Investigate the ground and the bases. Are there any hidden clues near the ground? Not like my neck is good for looking up a lot.
He points to one of the rocks. "Look, shiny. You like shiny things?"
John backs off from the complete legs and stares at them. He had no idea he was capable of craftsmanship of that quality, and that is really written on his face. After a few moments of admiration he shakes it off, attributing this feat of skill to beginner's luck, and puts the prosthetics on.((No nonono don't attribute it to luck! What about your FAITH?))
((No nonono don't attribute it to luck! What about your FAITH?))
I made a character.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
You get yourself some metal leg concealing devices and charge those bullets with your blood (How many you got left by the way?) and xan's.[5]
You make the legs and they are freaking perfect. Hell, they might be better than your shitty flesh legs used to be. They seem to move and act as though actually connected to you. You get no penalties while using them.
((That's some damn convenient luck right there.))
John backs off from the complete legs and stares at them. He had no idea he was capable of craftsmanship of that quality, and that is really written on his face. After a few moments of admiration he shakes it off, attributing this feat of skill to beginner's luck, and puts the prosthetics on.
It's like they were there all along. Wow.
He walks around the fire pit. It's all right. He jumps a little. And freaking lands on his feet, first try. A few hooks and jabs, moving his feet quick, in a manner a fighter does.
- OH FUCK YES! YESSS! SUCK IT, DISABILITIES!
Go get myself some new shin guards. Or maybe some boots. Something that would cover my prosthetics. Also, retrieve The Gun from Xan. "Charge" five bullets with my blood, load them in the magazine. "Charge" two bulles with Xan's blood, keep those in the box for now. Observe the ruin exploration party.
How'd I miss this?Look up. Does it seem like a god's bum is suspended up among the stars? Or something of a similar scale? Or has this hypothetical thing flown away/been stolen already?
If no clues present themselves, check out the pillars. Are they the sort that you'd expect to hold up a floor or a roof, or are they somehow peculiar?
Enact!
Hyenakles waves to the others. "Hey, Dino guy. Come look at this."
He points to one of the rocks. "Look, shiny. You like shiny things?"
Try to get the triceratops guy to touch the rocks. If he doesn't, examine one myself.
There are larger black stones below the dirt, each like a smooth river rock and each leaving that same glowing red after image behind them. They glow like embers when moved and tingle against the flesh of the dino's mouth. There seems to be an energy to them, but it's hard to tell if they contain it or if they were produced by some great force and are just the still charged remnants of it. The shallow divot or crater encircled by these scaffolds hints of something grand, and these stones may be the remnants of it. It might be possible to find whatever it was by following them...assuming they form a path and the thing didn't just pop out of existence here or maybe even rise into the sky.He points to one of the rocks. "Look, shiny. You like shiny things?"
"I prefer rum things, really. You think I'm some simpleton?"
Regardless, unearth one of the things via mouth. Anything cool happen?
"So mass belief does dictate results here, my theory bears fruit. No doubt he has no normal name; a title gives him more power.Done.
Hmm. I'll need to get people to believe I have the powers I did in life, then. No doubt the most effective method for this would be through mass murder in pursuance of my earlier theoretical extrapolations."
He looks briefly at John as he walks past.
"Hmm. You managed to make yourself new legs, congratulations. If you feel inclined, do make me an arm.
Ah, you'll take your gun back now then. I have all I need from it anyhow - if there's power invested in people with belief then no doubt their essence would in turn confer more power to the bullets.
Hrm. Allow me to infuse two bullets with my own blood, if you will - I wish to see their potential effects both now and after the fear of me is built up somewhat amongst the hells."
If John allows it, prime 2 bullets with my blood. Otherwise/then go back to excitedly theorizing.
does everything here look the same as the others see them to my alternative senses?[3] You feel vaguely that there is something out of the ordinary here, but you can't say anything specific.
You get yourself some metal leg concealing devices and charge those bullets with your blood (How many you got left by the way?) and xan's.
"I get the feeling ye don't like me. You be lucky I don't make ye walk the plank with those new legs of yours."
"Ah, I see you've got yourself a fine new set of legs, chap! Congratulations! Anyway, the ruins look like they used to hold up something bloody enormous, I noticed. And the sky looks suspiciously passable. There is a not insignificant chance that tosspot gods or avian hells are hiding above them."
"Nice rocks. We should take a few. Wonder if I could eat one..."
"I get the feeling ye don't like me. You be lucky I don't make ye walk the plank with those new legs of yours.""What, is this inverted? Who even does that?!"
Roll around trying to find the controls.
Sing to the black stone a song of the power within it, so we may learn where it has been, and what deeds it has witnessed.[6]
[5]"Nice rocks. We should take a few. Wonder if I could eat one..."
"I wouldn't recommend it, but whatever."
Nab a handful of rocks. Try to discern a path in the rubble, and follow it.
"You're probably right." It'd be better to smash a little one and snort it.[4]
Assist with the above action. Also make sure to grab the smallest of the stones. How big is it?
"Could there be heavens above heavens? An entire dimension of ethereal realms awaiting eager avian explorers?" Mr. Bird sings as he flies in a rough circle, his avian noodle processing this revelation. "But then, it's probably just evil clouds again. For is there any other kind, really?"
Return and inform John of developments.
"Ah, I see you've got yourself a fine new set of legs, chap! Congratulations! Anyway, the ruins look like they used to hold up something bloody enormous, I noticed. And the sky looks suspiciously passable. There is a not insignificant chance that tosspot gods or avian hells are hiding above them."
As Mr.bird talks to Mr.burn scars a giant flash of light illuminates the field below. Both of them run over to the railing and look down onto a circle of ash and smoldering plants."Ah, I see you've got yourself a fine new set of legs, chap! Congratulations! Anyway, the ruins look like they used to hold up something bloody enormous, I noticed. And the sky looks suspiciously passable. There is a not insignificant chance that tosspot gods or avian hells are hiding above them."
- Thanks! And well, that's... not very comforting. Let's hope nothing falls from the sky on us. Once Hyenakles and Dave are done, we're off. It looks like something got their attention down there...
While they're at it, start working on some sort of arm prosthesis for Xan. Not with fingers, but something like a crab's claw on the wrist. Maybe he'll conjure some spell to make it work like an arm.
Oh boy that won't be easy.
"The fuck was that?"
Xankarvo, eager to make up his forgetting to move last round, rushes over to the railing.The exploration team is SMOKING HOT!
"The fuck was that?"
Observe the exploration party
"My, that did look impressive. Hope the fellows down there are all right."
Mr. Bird switches to a proper shout.
"Hey, chaps! You all right down there?"
Can I spot any of our comrades? Or is there only ash and misery?
Hyenakles yips and barks between his coughs, swearing in his native language.Hmm. Well, beyond the embarrassment of being bald and the pain of being slightly crispy, you seem to be pretty much ok. The deer shank is...well cooked. And the gun appears to have gone off somewhere in the middle of that mess, but is otherwise ok. Wood on it is a bit burnt but whatever.
Collect my senses, and my gun. Make sure deer shank is ok. Figure out just what in the hell is going on.
EDIT: After I see Huurhuum's note, skedaddle back to the warbeast.
"You know, I don't think I'll eat one." Snorting it, yes. I'll be sure to get a little one, if it doesn't explode.You grab a mouthful of the the stones before ascending back up the warbeast with the rest of the group.
Grab a few [in mouth] and get going. Make sure to get a nice little one.
"By Blackbeard what be that."The away group has transformed into the Here group. Tasty tasty here group.
Roll to a railing to look over the away group.
((Xan should eat one to gain fire power.))
((That's still a fire spell. The only problem is it can only be used once.))((Xan should eat one to gain fire power.))((Or explode))
((Unfortunately similar to the spell that killed him, so no dice for now.((That's still a fire spell. The only problem is it can only be used once.))((Xan should eat one to gain fire power.))((Or explode))
"I don't know. We were digging them out and one went off.""They might be triggered by vibration then. I don't know if there's any way to test that out that doesn't involve one of you dying, but it would be handy if we found that out."
"They might be triggered by vibration then. I don't know if there's any way to test that out that doesn't involve one of you dying, but it would be handy if we found that out."
Fuck off to the other end of the warbeast from where John's doing his experiment thing.
"They might be triggered by vibration then. I don't know if there's any way to test that out that doesn't involve one of you dying, but it would be handy if we found that out."
Fuck off to the other end of the warbeast from where John's doing his experiment thing.Do this.
[2]"They might be triggered by vibration then. I don't know if there's any way to test that out that doesn't involve one of you dying, but it would be handy if we found that out."
- I think we can run an experiment. When I cry FIRE IN THE HOLE be sure to steer clear from... that place, yeah, that'll do.
Pick up one of the pebbles Dave brought in, with armored hand. Place it on the railing, or any elevated surface on the edge of the platform. Make everyone steer clear from that place, also, move other rocks from there. Helmet on. Take aim and shoot the rock with the rifle from some distance. Maximum available distance.
Hyenakles snaps at John, grabbing him by the arm.Hyenakles thwacks John upside the head with his deer flank.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Stop John, in the name of (relative) sanity. Confiscate the rock if I have to.
- Okay, alright, fine, I'm not smashing any rocks up here anymore.[6]
Get the rock in question and toss it overboard, towards something solid, like the ruins. See what it does on impact.
Continue flying high and watching out for explosion-attracted wildlife (which, considering it would be attracted to explosions, would presumably be quite the deadly sort of wildlife indeed).No sign of anything alive, but when the explosion goes off, all the flowers and even the stones seem to glow a little bit brighter.
Noticing the grumbling, Dave wandered over to the Engine Spirit. "I'm Dave. Are you one of the crew as well?""I suppose you could say that. Or you could say I am part of the beast. Either would be technically correct."
Talk to the engine spirit. Empathize?
Lacking anything else to do, go find my plant/focus my attentions on it if I have it with me. It was a minor narcotic when I last left it as I recall - focus on believing that it has healing properties.[4]
Keep doing that! Include regenerative powers in my strategic self-delusions.[6]
Guess who rigs the vote due to inactivity now? Me.Ok. Should they be of any specific size or just whatever?
Hyenakles: Keep them
Dave: Throw away
Mr. Bird: Keep them
Rocky: Keep them
Hurr-Durr: Throw away
John: Throw away
Xankarvo: Keep them
SO we're keeping the rocks, Hyenakles fetches some more so our total would be ten rocks, for the ease of count, we bundle them up, each wrapped in cloth and all tied together and secured some place on Warbeast where we rarely walk, and we move on through this land.
Ok. Should they be of any specific size or just whatever?
Also, move through to the next one? Which direction? Avoid the indented ground?
((Sorry for the lack of activity over the last few days, I've been frantically trying to not fail a class. I'll be less useless when all that's resolved, hopefully tomorrow.
Also, I seem to recall that Hyenakles was entitled to the loot he found. Might become possessive over the rocks... we'll see.))
Assist with scouting! Be the best bird I can be!
Ferry stones up to the warbeast, as Comrade "suggested".
((Sorry for the lack of activity over the last few days, I've been frantically trying to not fail a class. I'll be less useless when all that's resolved, hopefully tomorrow.
Also, I seem to recall that Hyenakles was entitled to the loot he found. Might become possessive over the rocks... we'll see.))
You get those stones and carefully put them away.Ok. Should they be of any specific size or just whatever?
Also, move through to the next one? Which direction? Avoid the indented ground?
Preferably not too large, something a size of a fist, probably.
We move on, um, along the ruins? Something straight ahead or so within the view currently. I guess we will try to go from one ruin to another for a while, looking around for curiosities, if we can't locate the next one within the horizon we'll rely on Mr. Bird to help. Unless this plan meets any opposition, we'll do that.
- I'm not feeling like leaving yet. This place is calm, I'm enjoying riding around, to tell you all the truth.
Now convince myself that the plant can imbue those who eat of it with the healing and regenerative powers it has.[5]
Soooo are the scaffold-like structures positioned along the storm cloud wall? If so, move along in between those.Well they're positioned around the square shaped indentation, but this wall of that indentation and by extension the scaffold ruins do run parallel to the fog wall.
- You people up for crossing these storm clouds? Not right now, but generally.
Well they're positioned around the square shaped indentation, but this wall of that indentation and by extension the scaffold ruins do run parallel to the fog wall.
how's it look, fellas?Spoiler: Making a character (click to show/hide)
Remove my helmet, and get to a lower position. Standing out in the open, atop a giant warbeast, in metal armor... isn't exactly a safe choice given that we're about to pass some storm clouds..
Remove my helmet, and get to a lower position. Standing out in the open, atop a giant warbeast, in metal armor... isn't exactly a safe choice given that we're about to pass some storm clouds..
((Note, we're not coming through, we're coming near those for now.))
"I need you to carefully break a leaf off of my plant and put it in my mouth. Normally I'd do so myself, but my arms are nonfunctional."
The beast takes a right and continues to trundle along.Well they're positioned around the square shaped indentation, but this wall of that indentation and by extension the scaffold ruins do run parallel to the fog wall.
Good! So, we're turning around the corner and moving between the wall of scaffold-like structures and wall of storm clouds.
Assist Xan as he instructs.
Assist bird person with scouting. Be sure to doot doot the sonar like a regular mister bones.Doot doot? I say, Noot Noot (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4VvRWTD3Ok)
Also be sure to check the integrity of my external shell. wonder if theseidiotsjerkspeople have any glass that could be used for repairs.
Don't fly into the storm clouds.Well, each side is probably the same size, you would guess, and the last one was several miles long, so we're probably looking at 5 or so square miles in total. You could fly over it all, but it would take a while of going back and forth. It's also nighttime, so it might be good to wait for morning to do a visual task.
Instead, see if I can find out what might be at the center of this... well, one would presume it to be some form of square. How big is it? Pretty damn big? Enormous? Mind-bogglingly huge? Cosmic in proportion? If more like the latter, maybe don't bother and instead fly about in the air, safe in the knowledge that lightning doesn't usually strike something that isn't grounded.
Remove my helmet, and get to a lower position. Standing out in the open, atop a giant warbeast, in metal armor... isn't exactly a safe choice given that we're about to pass some storm clouds..You go hide in the wooden building and stoke the dying fire back up to a nice roaring blaze. It's oddly comfy. Storm outside, the dark, the quiet. It's all pretty nice.
Take Paranoid Wizard PrecautionsTM if we're about to do anything dangerous like head into the clouds or anything.[6]
Xankarvo walks up to John.
"I need you to carefully break a leaf off of my plant and put it in my mouth. Normally I'd do so myself, but my arms are nonfunctional."
Procure John's help in eating one leaf of my plant.
((Now to wait and see if this works.))
Xankarvo sits down and placidly waits.Well, the stump itches and the floppy arm starts to hurt a bit.
Wait to see what effects hit. Hopefully my arm shows some signs of regrowing.
- Mild narcotic you say. Welp, just try to heal peacefully, leaning back and enjoying yourself. You can sit by the fire, it seems really cozy there. I'll be in the driver's seat.You water the plant a bit before heading back outside. The storm wall rolls and thunders off to the left and the ruins pass slowly to the right. It will be a while to you reach the edge of the ruins, if it's the same size as before. The sky is growing lighter, dawn is approaching, or whatever passes for it here.
Put the jar with plant back into the building. Water it a little. The get back to the driver's seat and enjoy the ride. Hopefully this land has some sort of daytime to see the ruin stuff more clearly.
Return to the warbeast and observe what the people are doing. Anything gainful? And what's that Xankarvo fellow up to?He appears to be chewing on a leaf while staring expectantly at his arms.
Rest and recuperate. Try to forget that I have no hair.You dream about having no hair. AHH WHAT A NIGHTMARE! Good thing you...oh.
My hair's growing back, right? Yeah, definitely. Definitely growing back. Deer shank, isn't my hair growing back?
A visit from evil robot santaclaus, Futurama style.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!... and a Happy New Year.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!I would like to be free from this hell.
What should I give everyone I wonder?
A visit from a really high dude in a sleigh-sized Tonka truck being hauled by magical alligators with deer horns. He has gifts for all of us, even though he doesn't know who we are or where we or he came from. He barrels around the sky like a drunken lunatic.+1
A visit from a really high dude in a sleigh-sized Tonka truck being hauled by magical alligators with deer horns. He has gifts for all of us, even though he doesn't know who we are or where we or he came from. He barrels around the sky like a drunken lunatic.+1
A visit from a really high dude in a sleigh-sized Tonka truck being hauled by magical alligators with deer horns. He has gifts for all of us, even though he doesn't know who we are or where we or he came from. He barrels around the sky like a drunken lunatic.+1
Oh Innumerable Heavens/Hells Yes! +7, It's a Lucky number, I figure you'll need it. Also, PTW
Clap your hands if you believe!
The question is, do you have Faith in Redneck Alligator Santa? Do you believe? Clap your hands if you believe!
I have Faith! I believe in Redneck alligator Santa!More quotes for the sig box.
C'mon, Xan, clap!
C'mon, Xan, clap!(http://i.imgur.com/mfpnIbR.jpg)
I'm pretty sure you only ever get coals. Made of plastics so they poison you when you burn them.That stopped after I kept donating it to local orphanages.
I'm pretty sure you only ever get coals. Made of plastics so they poison you when you burn them.That stopped after I kept donating it to local orphanages.
After a long, busy week punching heretics, how else is one gonna unwind and relax?I'm pretty sure you only ever get coals. Made of plastics so they poison you when you burn them.That stopped after I kept donating it to local orphanages.
Now Santa cuts out the middle man and just poisons the orphans himself.
It was only a matter of time before he had to. I mean they kept on asking for such morally pure gifts, like 'a loving family' or 'a mommy'. Where'd the good ol' corrupt consumerist spirit go in these kids?I'm pretty sure you only ever get coals. Made of plastics so they poison you when you burn them.That stopped after I kept donating it to local orphanages.
Now Santa cuts out the middle man and just poisons the orphans himself.
John places his right hand on a gun, but proceeds to talk casually to a newcomer:
- We're good! We have some swords, spears, a couple of bows and arrows to spare, armor sets, and these rocks that go boom when you hit 'em really hard. Pretty sure we got something else if we look up here some more. Any of those sound interesting?
((Doc, that's very cool.))
Dave sticks his head over the side as best as he can. This continues to be a very interesting day."Moonshine! Starshine! HELLSHINE!" He laughs uproariously for reasons you don't understand.
"Got any booze? Or anything similar?"
See if this guy is that kind of dealer.
Let the other people do the talking. Perch and occasionally wave my wings in a motion as if I'm about to initiate flight, like an actual domestic vulture and everything.You do your best bird impression.
Sell useless fire rock, gain ULTIMATE POWER.Nice try.
- Just a minute, I'll get you some stuff to see.The creature that was yelling at you appears to be 7 foot tall humanoid alligator with a long white beard. He's wearing nothing but red long underwear and standing in front of a giant, heavily modified pick up truck. He smells overwhelmingly of booze, gunpowder and slightly rotten meat. You hand him the pack and he digs through it, carefully sifting through the contents with one enormous clawed finger. After a few minutes he selects the ball of rods, and all the weapons.
Pack together an armor set, two spears and two swords, one bow, a handful of arrows and a Sphere of Rods I bought back in Slenceville. With that jolly bundle behind my back, descend from the Warbeast in all my burnt glory.
- Here, that's what we're packing, with more of any of these if you're interested, plus a little something that just might be interesting to a collector. Now what do you have? We could be interested in potentially re-sellable goods and artefacts empowering the owner. And yes, some booze. My personal interest is rare, powerful handguns, but we probably couldn't afford that. We also have a guy who could use new arms.
Perch and watch.They see you perching.
((You know, we could probably take this guy down without too much trouble, assuming he doesn't have any bullshit Christmas Magic crammed up his lack of sleeve.))He doesn't have bullshit powers, I can tell you that much.
Hyenakles lowers his gun. "Do you have any information on the surrounding area? Where exactly did you come from?"
- First off, do you have any stuff a man with no hands could use to substitute his hands? Next, some booze. I think we'd like to take a little of many things at once, so pick, say, dozen of bottles of different sorts, your choice. Finally, look at this fella here and tell me if you got any ammo for that, or any similar guns [referring to John's gun, show bullets in the mag, whatever, just don't let go of it while showing]. We could throw in something else for that last lot.
"I got something I think. Bought it offa limb broker out in the black wastes east of here. One whole arm, guaranteed functional, preserved and dexterous. "
"Booze? Shit, course I got booze. I got all sortsa booze. You wanna get drunk or you wanna wake up in a ditch with no pants and your arm around a pig? Cause I don't want you coming in expecting a buzz and getting a jet engine, ya follow?"
"Oooo boy, thats a beaut. What is that, conquering king make? Looks like living soul steel; blood driven right? I got some bullets for it, but not many. Those things is rare even in lands with his trade routes. Out here in the boonies, they're heirlooms, rarer than a sane wizard."
"Hmm."To clarify, this was directed at shitty redneck santa.Need a voice.
The Alligator man hands over what appears to literally be a human arm, neatly severed at the shoulder with the ball joint of the humerus partially exposed at the end. The arm is quite cold to the touch and feels almost as though it is coated in a thin layer of powder. He then hands over two large ceramic jugs, both glazed with a rough brown substance, as well as several small glass bottles, and a small tin box of ornate bullets. In return he takes everything you've offered so far.
"I got something I think. Bought it offa limb broker out in the black wastes east of here. One whole arm, guaranteed functional, preserved and dexterous. "
"Booze? Shit, course I got booze. I got all sortsa booze. You wanna get drunk or you wanna wake up in a ditch with no pants and your arm around a pig? Cause I don't want you coming in expecting a buzz and getting a jet engine, ya follow?"
"Oooo boy, thats a beaut. What is that, conquering king make? Looks like living soul steel; blood driven right? I got some bullets for it, but not many. Those things is rare even in lands with his trade routes. Out here in the boonies, they're heirlooms, rarer than a sane wizard."
- That sound about right. We're getting that, I think. How do you attach it to a person?
- I'm not drinking, I'm just looking out for me mates, so give me something they could drink to have a good time, but without wrecking havoc around.
- Ye, got that far, far away from here. Saved my arse just recently. Takin' the bullets.
John turns to his comrades asks:
- You guys want anything else? This guy's got stuff.
Agreed on bullets and a hand so far. Continue negotiating booze. Inquire about maps of this region and surrounding ones, if available.
Are you telepathic? I think I remember something about that. Still, he'd have no idea where the voices in his head are coming from."Hmm."To clarify, this was directed at shitty redneck santa.Need a voice.
"What else do you have, besides possibly limbs? Any spell books or the like?"
Ask for wizard stuff. Redneck Alligator Santa surely has some wizard things, right? Perhaps a nice wizard hat?
Inquire about any magical artifacts or products.
John, do we have anything he'd trade for the hat?
((Everything we offered so far, meaning the small batch of armor and weapons John brought down from the Warbeast, or our entire stock of weaponry?))
((Also, I consider Hyenakles being down on earth talking to our redneck Santa.Yeah, the stuff you brought down.
Also also, since not specified otherwise, I assume the severed arm obtained matches Xan's lacking arm.))
- 'xcuse me, please, I'll leave you to my partner here for a couple of minutes.
Everything we offered so far, meaning the small batch of armor and weapons John brought down from the Warbeast, or our entire stock of weaponry?
John collects the goods traded and carefully transfers them up the beast, taking only as much as he can safely carry per one trip up the rope.
My question to Santa regarding arm attachment was left unanswered.
That done, he comes up to Xan with a severed arm:
- Now I don't know how it works, but let us try the first thing that comes to mind and just carefully press it against your shoulder.
Here we have Mr. Bird, watching.*STARE* (http://previews.123rf.com/images/leks/leks1304/leks130400001/18981304-The-vector-illustration-of-the-aggressive-wild-vulture-staring-at-camera--Stock-Vector.jpg)
Is that the Fifth? :P
((I'm calling my right to take offensive action against inactive player, fillipk))
"We have some weapons and armor, like the stuff John showed you. I might be willing to part with this rifle as well. Now, can I see the goods?"
GRUMBLE GRUMBLE I WOULD LIKE TO INQUIRE ABOUT BUYING SOMETHING THAT WOULD ALLOW ME TO SPEAK"I got something that would work. Talking skull. Comes from a hell where the ground is covered in talking skulls that do nothing but recite the final words of those killed via violence. When you take them out of that hell, however, they just say what the nearest person is thinking. Used for lie detectors and that sort of thing elsewhere."
"My, that felt odd. Good, though. Very good."
Xan moves the arm about, getting used to having one again. He then goes and leans over the side to yell out to the alligator.
"My thanks! Now then, what would you want in exchange for that hat you mentioned?"
Asking about hat
Haul more merchandise down. Another armor set, four spears, a bow and a heap of arrows. Conduct the hat request and a voice device request. Trade for map of the place beyond the storm clouds.((you could trade him to santa. Sure he's worth something))
Attempt to sell the talking rock. The loud pirate-y one.
- Now look, we got even more of this stuff up there, that should be our trade for the smaller stuff, like boose, hat, arm, bullets and maps. Now say, would you, by chance, be interested in buying a living rock? It talks and rolls around by itself and such.
((I'm calling my right to take offensive action against inactive player, fillipk))
Experience boredom. Fly down to Redneck Alligator Santa."Hmm. Well, I got a few books. Old stuff, dunno the authenticity. Lots of would-be sorcerers out there you know. I have one on blood ritutals and one on..." he digs through his stuff for a moment before pulling out a leather bound book. He squints at the cover for a few seconds before speaking. "Mass suggestion, Thought-forms, populace embued preternatural capacities and the self feeding god cycle. Rolls off the tongue, eh?"
"Say, my anthropomorphic friend, do you have any good books on sorcery?"
To Alligator Santa:
"We have some weapons and armor, like the stuff John showed you. I might be willing to part with this rifle as well. Now, can I see the goods?"
"We have some weapons and armor, like the stuff John showed you. I might be willing to part with this rifle as well. Now, can I see the goods?"
((Try to ask Piecewise for specific items out of quantum space of Redneck Santa's inventory. Go wild, he might just have it. We fucked up with inventory check on Warbeast once, eliminating source of unquantized goodness, don't make the same mistake.
If you're unsure, just ask him to show something interesting and/or valuable he has.
This advice is strictly suggestive. Just saying, you know.))
"Hmm. Well, I got a few books. Old stuff, dunno the authenticity. Lots of would-be sorcerers out there you know. I have one on blood ritutals and one on..." he digs through his stuff for a moment before pulling out a leather bound book. He squints at the cover for a few seconds before speaking. "Mass suggestion, Thought-forms, populace embued preternatural capacities and the self feeding god cycle. Rolls off the tongue, eh?"Xan begins to respond to the alligator's question on boots when he hears this and his eyes practically pop out of his head.
You should totally ask for Tarmac. Maybe it'll even work. He could have been reincarnated as Santa's bag. :P
Skull, hat, map - prices are good, deal is sealed. Our rocky friend for the magic books.Done.
((I'm going to wiki all the bought stuff and dispense it to respective owners (when applicable) on the page, pinky promise, just not right now.))
Alright, some questions about talkskull.Anything that you desire to be communicated.
Does it project all the thoughts of the person, or just what they want to say? Is it possible to control what it says to some degree, or will it just continually blabber all your thoughts?
Does it have a male or female voice? Does it depend on the user?
Any preference for text color/accent for the skull's voice or should I choose?
Can the skull be worn as a hat.
@Comrade: RP before talkskull or after?
Done.
The phrase below is spoken at HurrDurr (Egan) when convenient IC-wise, while someone else is addressing Alligator Santa, presumably:The orb floats close to john and the skull is gently lifted from his hands.
- Now listen friend. We're getting you a speech device. However, I trust it that Rocky's situation, him being sold off to the first stranger we come across, that is, will plant the following suggestion in your... head... brain... you: do not abuse your voice. Speak up when you have something serious to say about current situation, ask questions if you need to. Just do not fuck around.
"Excellent. My thanks ... I do not know your name. What is it, if you don't mind me asking?""Name is S.T. Nick, Thankya. Purveyor of fine oddities and goods across two dozen hells and heavens. "
Obtain Alligator Redneck Santa's name, then run off and read book. READ WITH WIZARD PASSION
Back to the top of the warbeast! Bid our redneck alligator pagan god friend a fine goodbye.Back to the beast you go.
"Alright, fine. Do you have anything that would make my fur grow back, at least?"
Talk
"Depends how you mean. I could make a sound high enough to hurt someone's ears, maybe permanently, but I can't make shockwaves or anything like that. I could use telekinesis to... hurt... people's insides... but..."
"Um, I'm sure it won't come to that."
"I could do that, yes, but is there any reason why?"
- Okay, thank you. Now if you would care to do me a certain favor, not right now, maybe even never...
John leans slightly towards the floating sphere and whispers something to it.Spoiler: Don't look if you're not Egan, or act like you never seen this (click to show/hide)
- Could you do that for me?
Dave wandered over toward Xankarvo. "Whatcha reading?""Something thmay propel me to thranks of godhood perhaps maybe don't breathe too hard please."
Spoiler: Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
((Shit, I knew there was something wrong, I just heard about the terracotta soldiers thing and decided 'that would be a kickass thing to design a character from'.Spoiler: Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
((I feel obliged to point out that samurai is exclusively japanese thing, while the majority of your background refers to chinese culture. If I just put swordfighter instead of samurai on wiki, would that be okay with you?
Well, technically while you're on waitlist your charsheet is just a link to your b12 post, so I guess what I'm saying is you might wanna review it while you're waiting.))
((If you can play as a soul of rock, you can be soul of terracotta samurai. Don't limit yourself into our strict history.))
"I just want a normal life. Normal people, who talk about normal things.
This afterlife seems to have everything in it, and most things aren't that, but I believe I'll be able to find it.
Of course, this skull is very helpful, as are you."
Carefully read onward.The book continues by talking about several case studies of what it calls "mythical individuals", individuals which made it into the afterlife with a great deal of myth, rumor and superstition associated with them. It says that these individuals often come into the afterlife in forms related to the myths that surround them, demonstrating the fact that the beliefs of those in the afterlife may affect even those they may have never personally seen or interacted with. It speaks specifically of a "Senji M." who was apparently regarded as a craftsman of inhuman skill, but whose works excelled at their task but carried a powerfully negative connotation as well. Likewise the man himself was considered to be greatly talented but also possessed of a demonic or insane quality.
"Alright, I'll take the closest thing to Hyena pelt ya got. How many Gladi... Gladiuses... Gladiyi? Swords. How many do you want for that?"He trades you a cloak made of the pelt of something that looks vaguely lion-ish, but with crimson hair, in exchange for two swords.
Trade.
Hey, this is an interesting question; does meta cancer go across games?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnXPqUU6fI0
((If you haven't, I suggest watching "Sword of the stranger" because it has some great Chinese swordsmen characters in it that you could model yourself after, or draw inspiration from))((Shit, I knew there was something wrong, I just heard about the terracotta soldiers thing and decided 'that would be a kickass thing to design a character from'.Spoiler: Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
((I feel obliged to point out that samurai is exclusively japanese thing, while the majority of your background refers to chinese culture. If I just put swordfighter instead of samurai on wiki, would that be okay with you?
Well, technically while you're on waitlist your charsheet is just a link to your b12 post, so I guess what I'm saying is you might wanna review it while you're waiting.))
Changing it now.))
Flap wings impatiently. Keep an eye out.[Squawks internally]
The map is labelled as "Super-hell: Big Gray" and appears to show an area that is rather astoundingly large for a hell. Several hundred miles across at least, maybe more. It seems to be broken up into several labeled areas, as though the hell itself was made up of a patchwork of other heavens and hells that merged together into a conglomerate mass. All the areas are labeled and some have a bit of writing on or next to them: Convict bay, Black Sun Cult, Deep Woods, Deathless Armada, Dead Silence, Sinner's Mechanism, Divine Wastes, Sky Crawler Hive, Idol Henge, Garden of War Gods, Wandering Cities, Cemiac Empire, Godeaters, Olympus, Cult of the Imperfect. You have no idea where you are in relation to the things shown on the map though. You could be entering at any point on the edge."I just want a normal life. Normal people, who talk about normal things.
This afterlife seems to have everything in it, and most things aren't that, but I believe I'll be able to find it.
Of course, this skull is very helpful, as are you."
- The closest to normal we found so far are a bunch of creepy same-looking people inhabiting a town who were literally paralysed in front of anyone not born in hell. And even these are no longer around. So, we'll just look out for something you want as we pass stuff by. Speaking of stuff to pass by...
I got that map of the land-beyond-stromclouds. Check that out.
((Did you ever ask Santa if he can tell you where the King is?))
((Did you ever ask Santa if he can tell you where the King is?))
((First off, where is the fun in that and second, he probably knows just a much as we do, rambling around trading oddities.
I'm just not sure if we will really pursue that cause, that's why I'm bringing it up - to see what others think about it.))
Wish Alligator Santa good luck and bid him goodbye; address the team once everyone is up on the platform againThis is the only action so far
- Now look. Let's talk business here. I think we need to see the Great Conquering King. He might know something about the First Heaven. If nothing else, he probably has stuff under his rule we are looking for other than the First Heaven.
Oh, and as for now, we will be entering mighty funny places behind this wall of stormclouds, check it out.
John lays out the map down on the floor for everyone to see.
((Well Xan forgot to bold his reading action, it appears. Anyway, let's get crackin'))Just gonna put this here
- So, no opinions? You guys just think this over and share later. Meanwhile hang on and be battle ready.
Cross the stormcloud wall
Replace the armor with my new cloak, and vote to cross.You replace your armor with your new cloak. It's pretty nice. The head part even still has the snout and upper jaw of the beast, but modified into a helmet. Very Hercules-esque. And the heavy dark crimson mane of the beast frames your heck and shoulders wonderfully.
It appears I accidentally italicized my action.The next section appears to be covering "Thought-forms", things which were brought into being entirely based upon the beliefs of others. The book uses the same metaphor of the ball in the box, but this time posits that it is possible to do it without a ball ever having been in the box to begin with. However, it also states that the amount of faith required to create matter where none exists is seemingly far greater than the faith which is required to manipulate existent reality. The also makes reference to "The Darbensure Thought-form" and contains an image of a strange iridescent mass of swirling colors hovering above a city of asymmetrical, brutalist buildings. What ever this thought-form was, the author uses it as a cautionary tale, warning that while such things are powerful, they quickly gain a life of their own above the understanding and control of their creators. "And Darbensure's erasure from the world is more then evidence enough of the dangers of power unrestrained".
READ
"Let's sail, gentlemen!"The Warbeast charges through into the storm. The inner reaches of the stormwall are far different from the out side; it is tempest, a raging thunderstorm which pelts the beast with wind and rain. Thunder crashes constantly like exploding artillery shells and lightning curls through the sky all around, throwing purple light and jittery shadows across the deck. The flag, so carefully rendered, tears away from the beast and the fire in the cabin is smothered by rain. The crew hold to the deck and hide in the cabin, sheltering from the rain as best they can.
Onward!
- Jeez, that storm was intense. Glad it's over, I'm taking a break. I think it tore away our flag...[6]
Ask Engine Spirit to walk us up to the nearest building. Recreate the banner (http://i.imgur.com/GpALKIg.png), with coal on canvas, I suppose. It's important to have a flag in a deal like the one we're having.
((Wiki'd the map and some other changes.))
"This place seems nice. Do you see anything notable in the distance? It's hard for me to tell using only echolocation."Yeah yeah, you're fine.
Isolate this reality from the infected one. Perform whatever damage control is possible from this perspective.
"Hmm. Clearly then the best course of action is to create something that you could easily mantle yourself... he descends into mumbling.There are several "recipes" the author has devised for creating minor thought-forms but they all require a good deal of people and rather elaborate setups such as hidden rooms and volunteers who don't suspect that they are doing something specifically designed to create a thought-form.
Read onward!
Do explore the building. The insides of it. Just out of curiosity.
"Neat!"
Go with the away team
Explore little building. Continue to not be infected with reality fuckage.
Explore the building.
More reading!The next chapters talk about "Preternatural abilities" which are bestowed upon people. It specifically goes into the facts revolving around "Abilities which follow common belief or legend, the self fulfilling myth." It states that individuals who are known, by myth, legend or rumor, to have certain capacities will sometimes gain those capacities regardless of the truth of the original individual. Exaggeration of traits is often the most common way for this to happen, and it sometimes is too subtle for many to notice. A boxer who wins many bouts based on his ability to withstand damage and keep fighting may become preternaturally tough as his reputation grows, even if there is no obvious indication of such. A swordsman known for quick cuts may begin cutting inhumanly fast after many people have marveled at his work. It references "The 12th Grand Hell Circus" and the sword swallower who began eating swords and eventually subsisted entirely upon a diet of blades.
Xankarvo furiously commits all this to memory.
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeead
((Not noticing, clearly. Even not noticing any St. Elmo's fire flickering on the corners.))"I think I remember that stuff. Was used on old earth. Think it was called asphalt or something."
"Neat! What is this; molded rock?" Dave pokes at a piece of concrete as he asks this.
Go outside, see what's the deal with the highways. How obstructed/collapsed are they? Is it possible to use these for their intended purpose or did the time rendered them useless as pretty much everything else?The only parts of the highway which remain standing are the giant concrete supports, with the occasional crumbling bit of road dangling from the top. And even these are scattered erratically around, with one standing amid several fallen or even smashed apart.
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeadThe entire rest of the chapter deals with the idea of spreading rumors about a test subject in order to use this capacity of belief and myth to influence their form. It states that this method is ineffective because rumors and myths which lack any sort of visual feedback have a very limited power of change. The author states that this is probably because the individuals don't fully believe what they are told. The man who swallows a sword in front of a crowd may find himself able to chew one the next evening, but a rumor about an unknown person performing great feats in a land never heard of by the listener will rarely, if ever, bring results.
Scout around the warbeast, looking for shiny and/or ominous objects.
Poke around in the remains of the dresser with the end of my rifle, and double check that there's nothing worth looting in there. Then, head outside behind John..Anything of value in there has long since decayed.
"You sure you don't want to take the warbeast? It's pretty far to walk, might get dark."
"Fair enough, it doesn't really matter to me.""You sure you don't want to take the warbeast? It's pretty far to walk, might get dark."
- Nah, I just feel like walking, really.
((Egan, do you glow in the dark?))
- I'm off to see the giant carcass we spotted from the warbeast up close.
After stating his business to his comrades, John is off to do exactly that.
"You sure you don't want to take the warbeast? It's pretty far to walk, might get dark."
With John.
"Sure, why not?"
Follow along. Graze.
"Sounds good to me. Hopefully we find some nice, non-explosive salvage.From ground level, it's hard to recognize this thing as a body. The size of it is just too great and the bones to harsh and artificial to comprehend this as the remains of anything, save for maybe a particularly odd industrial structure. The body of the bone is rounded, as you would expect, but the ends are hard rectangular joints and the joints themselves have literal pins going through them, like a door hinge. The leg bones have exaggerated protuberances, trochanters, ridges and grooves, more than likely for enhanced muscle placement. The spine is made up of a series of hinged bones as well and has much larger spaces for nerve fibers to run, at least much larger than a human of comparable size.
The orb guy makes a good point though, about it getting dark. Might be safer if we grabbed a torch."
Return to the warbeast, and grab Xankarvo's bone torch. Proceed with John.
Read on!
Look for something that would shed some light on its origin. Any marks or symbols on the bones?The bones do have markings on them, but they appear to be something related to the construction of the beast rather then its origin. The symbols at connecting joints and parts are the same, almost like a guide to what parts to where. There are other symbols, a line of them have been shallowly engraved along the brow ridge of the skull, but you can't understand them; they're very complex though, so probably a logograms not an alphabet.
Look on the ground around this thing. Anything interesting around it? This thing wouldn't go down easily, might have more remnants around it.
((Nah, I'd rather take his knowledge and give him nothing. :P))There's no paper around. The closest you can find is some spare fabric that hasn't been used to make a giant oversized flag.
Xankarvo looks up from the book with a sigh of relief. He immediately began scuttling about the warbeast, looking for ... something, he isn't telling what.
Do we have any paper in good condition? Look for paper.
Circle the warbeast. Look for more bones.
Search around the skeletal remains for evidence of structures, such as those on our warbeast. Does it appear to have had passengers?The metal armor of the beast, whats left of it, shows no signs of external structures, but there are large holes in it that look as though they were purposefully made. Not stab wounds but doors or ports or vents of some kind. Perhaps it was controlled internally? Perhaps it was autonomous? Who can say.
Any mysterious artifacts of power around?Nothing on the surface that you find, or at least nothing intact. Maybe buried?
Yellow probably left her notebook on the warbeast, not needing it anymore.It doesn't anymore because it's just a chunk of armor no longer attached to anything, but judging from the grooved appearance of the hole, something used to connect to here, very securely.
Fly up and take a closer look at one of those holes. Does it lead anywhere?
Gobble down one of the smaller bones from the large bird creature if there are any. Receive some of its power as a result!You gain the ability to fly!
Enter through one of the armor holes, and have a look around. If we don't find anything interesting, return to the warbeast.You find...the visceral side of the armor? Again, this thing is rotten to bones and some armor plates; not a whole lot of it is left to see.
Store book somewhere safe really carefully.Fair enough. Processing...
"Well, that was enlightening. Now then, how to apply it..."
Basically just standing around right now while I go reread the past few updates. Xankarvo thinky.
Well, dig down then! Can I smell anything out?
- Wrap it up you people, let's get back to Warbeast. Can see a lot more from up there it seems. I'll see you there.Did you buy that? Xan bought the other one, but not that one if I remember right.
Back to the Warbeast. While waiting for people to return, read up that book on blood rituals.
"Doesn't look like there's anything here anyway."It tastes surprisingly good, vaguely sweet.
Head on back. Graze some more on the way back. How's the local flora taste?
Back to the warbeast.Back to the beast baby.
Fly back to the warbeast about 5% faster as a result of my power absorption!BACK TO BEAST
"These armor plates were likely attached to the creature's hide. Which uh, makes sense. Not sure where else they would be attached, really."BEAST TO BACK
Back to beast.
Right, now that I've safely saved all those to an outside thing where I can ponder the ramifications on my own, Xankarvo will do the following: ponder the viability of creating a thought-form and attaining its properties via the use of mass suggestion, or creating a thought-form and having it become part of you through extensive rumour-mongering - mantling the thought-form, essentially.I dunno bro, what does your brain tell you?
The sheer possibilities inherent in this...
Did you buy that? Xan bought the other one, but not that one if I remember right.
Skull, hat, map - prices are good, deal is sealed. Our rocky friend for the magic books.Done.
Do we still have the fuel and stuff I used to make molotovs? If so, make some more.
Alright then, guess you got a good discount then.Did you buy that? Xan bought the other one, but not that one if I remember right.
I suppose I could dig into the thread for some quotes, but as far as I recall, when we traded Rocky, we traded him for books, as in plural.
Since I'm not that sure, I'll go check it, hang on...
There it is:Skull, hat, map - prices are good, deal is sealed. Our rocky friend for the magic books.Done.
Keep an eye out and be the best bird I can be!Thats a holding pattern if I've ever seen one.
My RL brain tells me 'proceed real careful-like lest PW gleefully smite you off the face of the hells with your own creation'. Xan's brain is telling me that I should get right on trying to convince people I have fire powers, which leads mainly to my earlier musings about killing people with fire and having their reincarnated fear fuel my power.You put on your wizard hat. Sadly you have no robe with which to pair it with and then to assault strangers with. Well, actually you do...but they don't really match. And if you're gonna molest random people, you've gotta do it in a matching set. Just rude otherwise.
...
Do we still have the fuel and stuff I used to make molotovs? If so, make some more.
Also wear the wizard hat if I haven't already.
((Making a molotov isn't wasting fuel at all. It still exists, it can still be drunk or used as fuel, just in a more readily weaponizable container.))
"So where to next, boss?"
Test if this skull can sing, baby.[5]
"Eh fine."Your floppy arm remains floppy. It kinda itches and aches a bit but you haven't spontaneously regenerated the bones stolen from it.
Check the progress of my other arm. I know I got a replacement arm, but did my healing plant regrow my bones any in the other one? Eat another leaf just to be sure.
You walk over to the driver's chair and sit down. You don't bother to mess with any of the controls you just tell the Engine Spirit to follow the pillars. You resist the urge to say "Once around the park, Jeeves.""So where to next, boss?"
- I think we will go along these support pillars, they once held a road, and roads lead somewhere, typically. Maybe we'll get some more input to define our location in SuperHell along the way.
Walk the Warbeast along the support pillars of the elevated highway.
"Should we put it out of its misery?"
Hyenakles: disembark the warbeast and begin feasting on the flesh of the still-living giant.
Xankarvo raises his eyebrows and snorts at the sight of the giant.[6]
"And what battle were you in that wounded you so grievously?"
Talk to giant amputee. Cripple Empathy activate!
"My! That must have been some spicy weaponry that he ran afoul of."You look down on the body. Hmm. There's nothing on the ground that explains how this all happened, at least nothing that isn't overgrown. However, there is one thing: The building the thing is laying in looks a lot like the other toppled high rises except for the upper most edge. The other buildings look as though they have been snapped in half, broken like twigs, with a lip of crushed concrete and bent rebar at the edge. This one appears to have been melted or sliced through by something intensely hot. The concrete is blacked, pitted and almost foam-like in appearance while the rebar has melted and run, forming rusted bands and puddles wherever it flowed.
Can I see traces of whatever it was that took off his lower body on the surrounding area? Say, scorch marks on the environment?
The giant has ruddy red skin, like freshly dug river clay, and it's flesh is oddly ridged and rippling like wet fabric draped over metal bands. The musculature is obvious, but the creature looks quite thin over all, unlike the muscled giant you ride. Great veins and arteries curl and meander across the flesh, disgustingly large and pumping, and you could swear you see the contours of its viscera through the thin skin of its gut. Its hands are palm up and the talons, each longer than you and still gleaming, knead empty air. The entire beast is still moving, slow but restless."Should we put it out of its misery?"
- Look at the size of it, then at the size of us. If it won't make a move, we will move on, business as usual. I think there isn't much of self-awareness left in it at this point anyway.
Full stop - examining the legless giant. Let Xan talk to the thing and give Harry and Dave time so scout around.
"Might as well look too!"[5]
There's probably magical artifacts here for certain! Look around.
You dig out the corpse of the monkey thing. It's starting to go a bit rotten. Perfect. You walk back out onto the deck and loudly crunch your way through the corpse, eating flesh and bone with equal vigor. The marrow is particularly tasty.Hyenakles: disembark the warbeast and begin feasting on the flesh of the still-living giant.
((You hush.))
Do we still have that monkey carcass? Eat some of that while Xan talks to the thingy.
Wish I had a guitar.You wish you had a guitar.
Wait for the beast to respond, sure in my communication abilities.
((And thus the reason why you should never have Xankarvo talk to someone. Cool we have a Scottish warbeast, though!))
Wait for the beast to respond, sure in my communication abilities.The creature goes still and then rocks its head slowly forward, out of the ruins of the building. It has no jaw, and its head isn't much more then a conical mass of bone with two bulging green eyes poking out of under it on short snail like stalks. It doesn't make any sounds, or even move beyond the slight raise of the head. It just stares.
((And thus the reason why you should never have Xankarvo talk to someone. Cool we have a Scottish warbeast, though!))
"I wish I had a guitar.""♪ I wish I had a guitar♪ "
Sing something appropriate.
Mm. Consider the ballistics of the deployment of such a mighty weapon! The angle, the likely drop that the warbeast experienced - some sort of King Kong situation, perhaps?[1]
Observe the warbeast discourse. Be glad that Dave doesn't have a guitar.This discourse is comprised of nothing but meaningful pauses!
Dave seems to have noticed something. Help him out in whatever exploration endeavours he has in mind, that is, help him from the warbeast should he want to leave.
"Hey, there's something down there interesting. Can I get a ride down? I want to check it out."The warbeast lowers you down, carefully placing the both of you on the grassy, broken asphalt. You walk a few feet forward before noticing that the other beast is staring at you now. Staring directly at you with great intensity, like a child staring through a magnifying glass at an ant.
Get help down? If so, go pick it up and check it out.
>Dave: Approach at high speed and make friends! DINOSAUR SNUGGLE POWER ACTIVATE!
Spoiler: So regal (click to show/hide)
Go sideways. Is it tracking me or just looking in my direction. Go the long way around if it's not tracking me. Back up if it is.
"I saw some sort of flicker of blue light, over there by the shoulder. Can someone distract it or something?
Listen carefully to the beast.You listen carefully. Intently. With great concentration and effort.
"Hmm. What's a way to communicate with unresponsive beings?"Sketch? Where? With what? They don't make paper or pens in this size."
Oh, there's that."
Get Wormy to make the warbeast sketch a picture of what we are. Can be crude if need be. Then point to the other beast.
You scuttle to the left. The eye stalks sway and the eyes follow you. You scuttle to the right. The eye stalks sway and the eyes follow you. You back up a bit and the eye stalks extend ever so slightly.>Dave: Approach at high speed and make friends! DINOSAUR SNUGGLE POWER ACTIVATE!
((OH DEAR))
"So... why is it looking at me?"
Go sideways. Is it tracking me or just looking in my direction. Go the long way around if it's not tracking me. Back up if it is.
"I saw some sort of flicker of blue light, over there by the shoulder. Can someone distract it or something?
((Before Yoink gets any ideas, and has me cannonball into that thing's half of a mouth or something:))You wipe the viscera from your muzzle and then do your best to look regal. You end up looking more like canine Darth Sidious in a fur cloak but we take what we can get.
Hyenakles continues to watch. He also wipes the grease off his muzzle and straightens his cloak, trying to look dignified despite his lack of fur.Spoiler: So regal (click to show/hide)
[1]Spoiler: So regal (click to show/hide)
((Noice))Go sideways. Is it tracking me or just looking in my direction. Go the long way around if it's not tracking me. Back up if it is.
"I saw some sort of flicker of blue light, over there by the shoulder. Can someone distract it or something?
- Where do you think you're going? We're gonna get that thing you saw.
Attempt to spot the flickering blue light by the shoulder of a giant myself.
Dream a little dream of high-powered explosive ordnance raining down from the sky.[3]
- Oh, it's looking at you? Gee, that must feel BLOODY horrible, doesn't it? Damn sun beams getting right to my eyes, those bollock fondlers.The Alleged source of heavenly delights is buried in the rubble of another partially collapsed building that is sitting right next to the one the giant is partially embedded in. Judging from the slope of debris it looks like it fell at the same time as the giant, so maybe this glowing thing was something that the giant was carrying and dropped as it fell? In any case, you think you might be able to climb up the debris to get up to it, but it is right next to the giant, and at about his eye level.
Is it possible to just straight up climb up to the alleged location of the flickering blue light? How high is that above the ground, the near-shoulder of a giant?
"In the dirt with a finger, you invertebrate fuck. Or does this place not have dirt and the warbeast not have fingers? I'm not being condescending, I never bothered checking."
Dream-carry one of the children to a reasonable height, then drop them onto a rock so that their skulls crack and their brainmeats are mine to consume.You murder a non-existent child. Or rather you think about it and then you're already eating his brain. Things are progressing in an odd, dreamlike manner, with cause and effect being strangely direct.
Damn it feels good to be a vulture.
"I care not for your petty concerns of sensibility, worm. Stop pointing out the obvious, it's actively detrimental here."The war beast reaches up onto the platform and plucks you off, holding you by the collar of your robe. It holds you up so that the giant can see you and points at you with its other hand.
Xankarvo paces for a moment.
"Here, try this. Have the warbeast point at itself, or me, and say my name. Then point at the giant."
Communication v2!
Continue floating a safe distance away. Think about music.You think about music. Hmm. Rather funky. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdooYar_A6g)
Search around for lovely she-vultures to charm and entice with my scavenging prowess.[2]
Walk the long way around to the noticed gleam. If the beast starts moving, book it backwards.Hmm, the long way around would be walking around the building and then trying to climb up the sheer wall on the backside. You try this. The lack of thumbs or indeed any digits on your stumpy little dino feet make it somewhat difficult.
- This must be what Bilbo felt in the presence of Smaug.You walk closer. The giant stares. You climb up the rubble towards the buried whatever it is. The giant stares at you the whole time, but doesn't move. The source of the glow appears to be a strange metal object buried in the rubble, or rather it is inside the object. Only part of the surface of the thing is visible, a dull silvered tube that has been cracked open and exposed a glittering blue core of translucent, teardrop shaped stones.
Crawl up the rubble to the eye level of a giant. Conquer fear and look him in the eye (if applicable). Then look for magickal macguffin.
Hm. Well, might as well pick up where we left off.I'm not sure if I should take that assurance.
Search around for lovely she-vultures to charm and entice with my scavenging prowess. I am far more charming when awake, I assure you.
Clear the rubble around the thing, try to dig it out, if it isn't overwhelmingly massive.Around the ENTIRE thing? Yeah, a few minutes of that shows it to be indeed, overwhelmingly massive for a human sized being.
"Hmm. Hmmm hm hmm, hmmmm."http://wheelof.com/stars/
Think about magical music.
"Uh. Okay?"You head around to the front and do your best to struggle up to where Captain Burn Scars is. [3]
Go to the front and help, then. No sudden movements. If it moves at all, bolt.
"Hmm. Interesting. Put me down on the platform again, please. What's that glowing object the others are trying to get?"The warbeast sets you back down.
Shiny senses activate
You know what, the bird guy has the right idea. Get some sleep.You look at all the silly crap going on, shrug and head inside. You curl up in one of the beds and start sleeping. You intend to do this until something makes sense again.
Hm. Fly back and try to articulate a two-sentence summation of what the hell's going on from a good vantage point."A crazy man is attempting to communicate with a giant while a dinosaur and burn victim steal shiny rocks. Various carrion feeding creatures seem uninterested and goof off."
Examine the glowing blue stuff. Take a few glowy rocks. Hope like hell this isn't giving me afterlife cancer without me noticing.The glowing rocks vary in shape between tear drop and rounded oval, but they are all polished, smooth and translucent. The glow does seem to be coming from any particular place inside them, rather it seems that the entire stone is faintly luminance and the glow intensifies if the stone is moved, shaken or struck. You take a few and hope they aren't secretly killing you.
"You can't see it? It's all shiny and shit. Matter of fact, I want it."Well for the moment they're over there so we'll have to wait.
Or can I actually not see it and I just accidentally meta'd my way into seeing it? Either way, get the warbeast to try picking up the shiny thing after John and them aren't too near it. Keep an eye on the giant in case it takes offence.
Keep progressing, keep being prepared to bolt.[5]
((I'm tempted to jump queue and wander uninvited into the game :P))
Barf meta-gamma-radiation at John, giving him meta-cancer.No.
- Shame I didn't get my bag. It seems to be safe to come get more though, should Xankarvo want 'em or something.You wave for xan to come pick you up. You hope he doesn't drive the beast over you.
Shout and signal to Xan back on the beast to walk up to where I am.
"Oh look, John's waving his arms. Probably wants us to come near him. Go to it, controller thing. Do you have a name, by chance?"You pass a bag down to the...individuals on the ground and they fill it with as many of the stones as it can hold.
Warbeast scoop up shiny things nao
Fly around. Any signs of habitation at all, or is the place just dead? Any animals of any kind, tiny and inconspicuous ones like insects included? Search high and low, but be careful!You see no signs of habitation by sentient beings, no smoke or obviously constructed dwellings. But there are animals around, mostly big fluffy grazing things that look like oversized sheep. No sign of any predators.
"I can carry a few."
Carry a few in mouth. Lick a few and hope to get high.
Enter REM, and dream about Hyena things.
((no one has died in a while, and many actions are about faffing off. I'm tempted to jump queue and wander uninvited into the game :P))I didn't really expect them to spend this much time here. Don't worry, I'm sure we'll find ways to free up slots just as soon as they go someplace new.
"I must say, these stones don't taste right. An odd tingly feeling... and not the good kind either."
"Then I hereby dub you Xan, as an extension of myself. Now then, we've got the bag full of shiny rocks and this giant doesn't seem to be responding in the slightest. What should we do now, I wonder.The only thing I see it causing is confusion.
...
Perhaps show the giant a rock or two."
Nothing could possibly go wrong from naming the worm Xan. Nothing at all. It's not like that name carries bad juju around with it or anything.
((Literally everything on the map of SuperHell sounds like an intense place, and we found ourselves this oasis of tranquillity - I did not expect that.))Everyone gets back on and waits. They're feeling rather tired and listless after their short adventure.
Get back on the beast. Help Dave back on the beast. After Xankarvo is done trying to communicate, set course along the ruined highway.
Continue sleeping.zzzzz
((I feel bad about wasting turns, but Hyenakles doesn't really have anything to do here.))
Wonder if there are any songs that gained magical power in the afterlife. Try to think of how one would learn one, or if I happen to already know one that would work.Hmmmm...well...maybe if...like...people thought it had power before? Like...what was it...the Hungarian suicide song. That has a good deal of superstition connected to it. Maybe it has power here?
Fly above an oversized sheep and bid it a fine how-do-you-do. See what it says to that.It responds by chewing more grass and staring at you with dull, unthinking eyes.
I'm not familiar with that one. Start faintly humming it and see if I "feel" anything. Even if I don't, stop after a bit, just in case.[1]
Indeed we steer LC Dauntless towards the smoke source.
"Hmm. Either a campfire or a forest fire or somesuch. Either way, worth looking at."You direct the warbeast over towards the smoke, slowly stomping your way through the trees, shattering and uprooting them as you go, leaving a torn path in your wake. The smoke is coming from a small, obviously artificial clearing; there are stumps scattered all throughout it. There are structures down there as well, temporary ones. Tents made of leather, simple but sturdy; clearly the work of people who have made, taken down and remade them a great deal. Nomads. The fire is still burning quite well, recently fed and stoked, but there's no sign of anyone in the campsite.
To the smoke! Only we can encourage forest fires!
"Perhaps they're hiding from our awesome might. Should we call them out with the warbeast, I think?"[2]
Look around at the trees and such. No one's hiding in them, are they?
Anyone who doesn't post: begin worshiping Xankarvo as a god-wizard.
John steps on the open platform, and proclaims as loudly as it is possible without letting his voice tear up from the pain of burns all over his face.You shout the first number and wait. Nothing but silence. In fact, an almost eerie level of silence.
- We are free souls roaming the wilds and we wish no harm. We will leave this place in few moments. If anyone is here, concealed from our sight, wishes to ask something of us, do so. On the count of 3, we go away.
1.
"Well, that's one thing to do."[1]
Watch for peoples. Any tasty leaves I can reach while still on the platform?
Wake up. Help watch for people.[4]
Boop Boop Sonar.[3]
Circle the camp and utilize bird vision to look for horrible ambushes.
"Wait, I think I saw something. Up on that cliff, in the trees.""Hold on, I'll check it out."
Anyone not posting: suddenly believe that Xankarvo is a transcendent God of fire.
"Wait, I think I saw something. Up on that cliff, in the trees."
I'mma roll for this twice, since I missed it.Circle the camp and utilize bird vision to look for horrible ambushes.
Chirp chirp.
"Wait, I think I saw something. Up on that cliff, in the trees.""Hold on, I'll check it out."
[1]
Float closer to the area that mr. hyena is aiming at, and boop boop sonar it.
Even though I am posting, do this anyway, as it provides profit to this one;Anyone not posting: suddenly believe that Xankarvo is a transcendent God of fire.
"Wait, I think I saw something. Up on that cliff, in the trees."You draw your rifle and point it out at the underbrush, looking for more movement. [6] You accidentally fire a shot, seriously menacing a tree. The sound echos through the canyon for several seconds.
Draw my rifle, and point it in the general direction of where I saw the movement. Watch closely.
Get a molotov and be ready to torch anything trying to kill me.You grab a moltov and get ready.
Anyone not posting: suddenly believe that Xankarvo is a transcendent God of fire.
John looks around, but more in "admiring scenery" way rather than scanning for threat. Nice place for a camp. Fine spot for an ambush as well, but no, happy thoughts, John, happy thoughts.
He does his best to stay relaxed, and look so. It is easier to draw weapons or dodge from relaxed position, but mainly it just feels better than being tense.
Two.
((Was Dave not rolled for on purpose? He was on the platform with Xan.))Dave was rolled for, Harry's birdman wasn't because he was flying up high enough to not be in danger.
"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"
Try to get Xan free! He's got that fire magic, right? Can't he use it?
"I AM GOING TO BURN YOU ALL IN THIS AND YOUR NEXT INCARNATION FOR SUCH AN AFFRONT!"[3] You wiggle and waggle and pry and pull and finally get yourself free, though you leave a rather large chunk of floppy arm behind as you do.
Free myself/accept help being freed. Then go burninate everything in the direction the arrow that hit me came from with anything burny I have at my disposal. Molotovs, fire magic, etc.
"Woods are full of angry beasties, lads! Though I suppose you can tell by now, yes?"[1]
Fly higher and higher, and test whether it is possible to kill someone with feces flying at ballistic velocities. The attackers, probably.
Here I go, burning my hand into crisp again.You shout for the warbeast to run and you're in the midst of aiming your pistol when a fist sized mound of avian waste hits you square in the top of the head with enough force to knock you to the ground. This is...one of the worst things to happen to you in a while. And that includes having your skin replaced with scar tissue and charcoal.
1. Order warbeast (via Engine Spirit) to jolt forward - hopefully some of these ropes aren't secured yet.
2. Open fire at the edges of the canyon. I have five shots of oily blood rounds loaded, fire them all. Target the areas where the ropes lead from the beast.
"HAHAHA FUCKERS I GOT SOMETHING FOR THAT SELF-PRESERVATION YOU GOT THERE."[3]
Use the orb (NOT the skull) to hum the tune of the Hungarian suicide song as loud as possible in the general direction of the attackers. Use the skull to scream the lyrics to an entirely different song at my comrades and myself.
Drop to the deck, and try to staunch the bleeding with my cloak. Think happy thoughts.[5]
LOUDER, LOUDER! AND MORE CORRECT! USE THE SKULL TO SING TOO![1]
Use my 3 functional limbs to scramble back to one of the shelters, and try to snipe attackers from a position of relative safety.You scrabble back into the living quarters and drag one of the beds over to the door, flipping it over and wedging it into place, forming a little barricade. You steady your rifle against the barricade and wait for the invaders.
"AHAHAHAHA! AND I HAVE PLENTY MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM!"[6]
So I'm being influenced to have mouth-connected fire abilities, am I? Fitting for how often I spew insults.
I know we have at least a few more bottles of flammable booze stuff or somesuch. Get one of them and try the ol' flamethrower technique on the approaching hostiles. Or take a page from rappers and literally spit fire at them. Whatever my inner pyromaniac thinks is best.
- I WILL ROAST YOUR GUTS, BIRD! AND YOU MOTHERFUCKERS AREN'T SEEING SUNSET!You get up, spit, curse, spit, wipe your face, spit, curse again, and spit once more. That done, you walk to the railing, aim your pistol and start firing.
Wipe bird shit from eyes, make my damn five shots, then go grab a sword and get into rope cutting business or swordfight, whatever is applicable at this point.
Use teeth and horn to start cutting ropes! Or gore anyone who boards. Yarrrr.[4]
Excellent in principle! Too bad that's probably all I had in me for now.[5]
If not, try again! And hit somebody hostile in the process!
If yes, swoop down on one of the climbing beastfolk and try to dislodge it from the climbing rope with a well-timed assault.
((According to the wiki waitlist, you're #2 on the waitlist. You'll probably get picked up the next time we meet a new group of people.))((So cross your fingers and root for our destruction this turn))
((Well, you're safe on the tree instead of the burning monster-infested platform. Is it really that bad?))You scramble back onto your feet and charge back into the fray. [6] You charge and leap straight into the lobster man again, but this time you manage to cannon ball into him with all 3 horns and your entire body weight. Your two main horns punch straight through the chitin of his chest and he falls over backwards, squealing and hemorrhaging bluish purple blood. However, the force of the blow embedded your horns quite deep in him, and this combined with his horizontal position mean that you've essentially gotten your head stuck in a dead lobster.
Yarrr! Gore gore gore gore gore. Put those horns to use!
Fire the remaining two rounds, then toss the gun to Hyenakles to reload (and probably use). Defend self with sabre if/when needed.So far 4 invaders have made it up onto the deck; the lobster man that your dinosaur companion seems to be handling, a creature that looks like it's part bobbit worm with three masses of tentacles around the armored upper carapace and a half dozen spidery legs, a man that literally looks like a human but with an deer stag head, and an 8 foot tall bronze statue that looks a lot like Rodin's thinker, though missing most of its left arm. You decide to focus on the statue and the Bobbit worm first. Because a statue is hard to kill with a sword and a bobbit worm is an affront to all that is good and decent. Although someone made a fucking anime anthro version (http://orig06.deviantart.net/8c26/f/2013/096/7/e/7e068966e21471de63a3734eecefd475-d60ouxv.png) of one. Because of course they did.
"Wish me luck, shank."[1]
Shoot the bastards! Oh, and reload John's gun when appropriate.
"Right, that's my bad."[6]
Since my expertise with fire totally extends to putting it out, go stop that blaze before it grows! Do NOT use booze to 'put it out'.
I somehow missed harry. fuck.((You also missed me, But I was literally doing nothing. I think what happened was that you rolled Hyneakles's little friendly fire, rolled to hit Xan, and then looked down at Xan's action and forgot about the posts in-between.
At least in this case it didn't matter. Sorry harry.
Help my fellow dinosaur extricate himself from the lobsterman!
((Just assume he got bird crap on something.))[4][2]
"Damn it all!"
Get unstuck! Stay on deck! Avoid being pooped on.
"Hyneakles, normally I'd be frothing at the mouth to try to kill you but this is so fucking hardcore that I'm going to ignore that. I AM A HUMAN FLAMETHROWER MOTHERFUCKERS now with that said don't fucking shoot me you shit I have to put out this fire."[5]
Put out fire. Don't fall off warbeast. If I'm attacked again, spit some leftover booze on the fish hook thing, light it aflame with my teeth and fight them with a flaming sword! Also do whatever I can to light them on fire if I end up in a fighting scenario. Use my teeth sparks as distractions. Internally lament the fact that I don't have a big badass beard that I could set on fire and look cool with.
((Oh man that's fucking cool as hell.))
[2]I somehow missed harry. fuck.((You also missed me, But I was literally doing nothing. I think what happened was that you rolled Hyneakles's little friendly fire, rolled to hit Xan, and then looked down at Xan's action and forgot about the posts in-between.
At least in this case it didn't matter. Sorry harry.
But that's understandable, friendly fire gets me excited too. :P))
Are there any of those strange fellows still on the ground? If so, hover out of reach of one of them and start talking.
"Hey! do you speak Space-English? Why do you want a great big warbeast anyway?
Examine self - just how broken am I after that punch and this fall? If not that much, try to stand up.Well thats the thing, your anatomy is weird. Human, you'd be dead. Very dead, even. But you have an engine instead of guts and those are a little more robust. Do you have a brain? Or are you like a golem where as long as the engine is running you're not dead? Cause you're mangled, but I'm not sure about the fatal nature of the mangling.
"Whoops."You're kneeling with your shoulder against a wall, so you're pretty damn stable. Or, at least you were.
Make sure I'm solidly wedged into this shelter, before reloading John's gun.
Well thats the thing, your anatomy is weird. Human, you'd be dead. Very dead, even. But you have an engine instead of guts and those are a little more robust. Do you have a brain? Or are you like a golem where as long as the engine is running you're not dead? Cause you're mangled, but I'm not sure about the fatal nature of the mangling.
Excellent! Move to further distract the metal man while the others hopefully lay into him as hard as they can. Maybe disorient metal man sufficiently to make him plummet off the deck.[6]
Help with distracting Metal Man. Perhaps I could get behind his legs and someone pushes him back over me so he trips and falls overboard.[5]
Get free dammit and go on some amazing solo adventures![6]
In that case you're alive, but your body is fucked so you're gonna be reliant on someone coming and picking you up and finding a new body for you in...a reasonable time span or you'll die.Well thats the thing, your anatomy is weird. Human, you'd be dead. Very dead, even. But you have an engine instead of guts and those are a little more robust. Do you have a brain? Or are you like a golem where as long as the engine is running you're not dead? Cause you're mangled, but I'm not sure about the fatal nature of the mangling.
I'm going to go with a version where I get that golem deal - if the meaty bits are way too mushy to recover, the metal core within the chest and abdomen can be manually removed by a third party, lodged inside some other fleshy bits and sewn shut: then it will grow into it in a day or two, given there is fuel inside to do that.
Or at least that's how I envision it.
"That also has potential. Now, who's next? Ah, the metal man! Well, fleshy or not, you're about to feel the burn!"[2]
Since metal man is metal and plain sword strikes won't do too good on him, but neither will fire melt him, do both! Set sword/fishhook thing on fire and then set him on fire with it! Preferably remove some limbs. Maybe a left arm so I can get a better replacement, hmm?
((Hey, can't can the Xan))
"Shank!"[6]
Charge into the metal man.
((I'm sort of out of action now. Pick me back up or pick me not, your choice.))
Hey, how big is John's engine? Could it fit inside of the glass orb, if I took the brain out?
((You can put him inside the deer dude I beheaded.))
"Yeah! Good job!"You run back out onto the deck and look around. The war beast is leaning forward and clearly about to break into a full run. If you have any desire or inkling to save anyone whose fallen overboard, you'd better stop it now, lest it will leave them behind.
Make sure no other enemies are coming. Any ropes that might drag that need to be cut? Dave's done all he can do against a metal dude.
"Ugh, bloody useless body. Life is fragile, but at least it's not bloody glass.Assume it's big enough to fill up the entire chest and abdominal cavity of your standard 6 foot tall human male.
Is that you John? You don't look too good."
Hey, how big is John's engine? Could it fit inside of the glass orb, if I took the brain out?
Back away from the epicenter of burnination.
Fly up from the metal man and retreat to a safer distance while the others try and kill it.You both leap away from the metal man.
"Fine then, stick to what I know.Question: How? Moltov? Or are you just trying to magic it? This makes a difference.
BURN MOTHERFUCKER
Concentrated burnination! Make sure to set his torso/head on fire instead of his limbs that he could hit us with.
YesNo, either attempt to magic or use a moltov. Time is too short for you to fuck up one and then try the other before the metal man stands up and twists your head off.
by which I mean can I do both? No kill like overkill
"Did someone go overboard? I think we have a man... rock... thing overboard!"
Cut the damn ropes!
Have faith in Xankarvo's ability to resolve the whole metal man issue in a grand magical gesture. It's how we solved our previous predicament, right?[2]
"Right, do something quickly now I don't like the way he's looking at me!"[5]
Make the flames intensify! Melt the fucker!
Keep my distance/dodge if he attacks me.
"Did someone go overboard? I think we have a man... rock... thing overboard!"[4]
Cut the damn ropes!
Yell at the engine spirit to stop the warbeast.You hobble over to the door and shout at the engine spirit, commanding it to stay and fight. But also to try not to crush your friends. Friends? Crew members.
I AM A GOD OF FLAME AHAHAHAHHAHAHA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MniP-R2z9I)
BURN PUNY CRABMAN BURN! Ride the wave of success before my dice turn on me again.
((I'm on a roll right now, damn))
I AM A GOD OF FLAME AHAHAHAHHAHAHA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MniP-R2z9I)[2]
BURN PUNY CRABMAN BURN! Ride the wave of success before my dice turn on me again.
((I'm on a roll right now, damn))
Lay on the ground and hum the song. Think about death.[5]
Stop ignoring my stupid actions.
((Maybe I'll get resistant to the song eventually.))
[HYENGLISH OATHS AND EPITHETS][6]
Shoot crabman in his stupid crabman face with John's pistol. Also don't die?
RAM the crab-man! Back of the leg or somesuch.You ram one of the severed legs! It's...questionably effective!
Hard to believe in? Goddamn, man, did you just see that? Dude went flying from the power of his hands! And he's not even using any super magic artifacts. It's all him, baby."Don't worry Xan, happens to the best of us! Just a part of getting older."
In any case, admire Xan's form and skill. Have a little faith!
Ooh, grab one of the severed crab legs. Those are the good bits.The nicest looking one is the giant claw, but weighs several times more than you so "Grabbing" it is rather out of the question. Now, maybe if you broke it up some. Maybe got the meat out, cooked it with some butter and lemon, that might be a viable plan.
Xankarvo recovers remarkably quickly from the blow to his ego.You go look over the edge of the deck. The last few attackers still doggedly climbing are being grabbed and tossed into the distance by the war beast. Seems this ambush has been over come for now. Though, there appears to still be scattered movement down in the forest below. As per your fallen teammates, they should be down below near the war beast's feet. Assuming he didn't step on them.
"My luck always has had the tendency to waver back and forth between incredible success and spectacular failure. Seems even the afterlife couldn't change that. Now then, where's John?"
Any other enemies approaching? Where's John and that other guy that fell off?
Stop the bleeding with my cloak, again.[2]
Confirm that no other ropes are attached. Otherwise, be adorable around wounded people to lift their spirits.You double check that there are no more ropes attached to the deck and then go stand over by Hyenankles. You chase your tail and do forward rolls and generally attempt to be as adorable as possible.
Um. Fetch medical supplies? Are there any here? Maybe some cloth for bandages?You run into the crew cabin and grab what you can. Some cloth for bandages, thread and needles for stitching. You're not really sure how to help with wounds like this. You can't put a tourniquet on an entire torso. You bring out what you've got and pile it near hyenakles.
"Well, looks like you chaps have this under control."You fly down into the forest, carefully flapping through the thick foliage and endless pillars of dark wood. It takes a bit of searching but you manage to find both the humming brain sphere and John. The sphere appears damaged but judging by the endless chattering of the skull attached to it, it is at the very least alive. John, on the other hand, looks very dead. The engine his chest is exposed, half jammed out through the rib cage, and his limbs are splayed and broken, twisted and limp. The only thing moving is the engine, which is chugging along weakly.
Go look for John. Did he fall or something?
"It appears I'm one of the only ones capable of actually taking action to preserve the lives of my meatshields. Delightful. Mr. Bird, go and check on John and whatever that orb thing was. They're somewhere by the warbeast's feet."[3]
Go feed Hyenakles some of my healing plant and try to bind his wound or something. Have faith that the plant is super effective.
((I s'pose John's not going to last long. I guess it's time for me to say that we had a good run together. I'll wait for a statement from PW to confirm death though.))If they find a body to put you in you could live.
Deer dude I beheaded.((I s'pose John's not going to last long. I guess it's time for me to say that we had a good run together. I'll wait for a statement from PW to confirm death though.))If they find a body to put you in you could live.
Hyenankle's might open up soon.
((plan PTW:((Don't forget the last 2 steps
1) put John's engine in the jeep's engine compartment.
2) hope and pray he rolls a 5
3) celebrate the fact that a transformer has joined your party))
"Right, you'll thank me later for this."[5]
What time is it, kids?
It's cauterization time!
You dream of shooting crab men over and over and over and over again. Then taking their crab daughters out and deflowering them before dumping them with great cruelty.
ANGRY DREAMS
"Oi, bird dude, John doesn't look too good. Try to keep that engine going, I'll be right back."I'm gonna assume the engine spirit just picks you both up directly.
fly up to the warbeast and grab a flask of fuel, then fly back to John and try to pour it into the engine directly.
While I'm up there actually, tell the engine spirit to pick up john's corpse and put it on the deck.
"Ah, splendid thought there, humming brain sphere. I'm no mechanic of the biological persuasion, but I shall do my best!"The metal man got mortared out through the roof of the crew cabin, remember. Gonna have to fix that... anyways, there are a few corpses around here, though none are in very good condition. But the jeep...thats in perfect condition. Not exactly useful for most circumstances but it might be a good place to keep him alive until a more suitable body can be procured.
Do my best to keep John alive! Mechanically! I'm sure I've had at least some minor experience with auto repair in my long and storied lives.
... is it the manifold? Do I need to change one of them belt thingers? Maybe a change of oil while I'm at it? Not that I have any spare parts on me (though maybe some of the rest of his body parts count).
EDIT: Ooh! If I figure out that this is what needs to be done, see if I can't shove John's engine into a different nearby body. Maybe the metal man if he's dead and close by?
And Xan...well he has 3 fingers and a thumb. He should also probably burninate that boneless arm because it is gonna get infected as is.Thanks for the suggestion!
((Well, at least the party won't be too picky when it comes to new arrivals wanting to join.))
So a smelly sasquatch-like thing, an overbearing narcissist plastic-surgery mom, a teleporting cat, and a deceptively innocent-looking baby deathclaw.
If any of them are gonna be unresponsive, I'm calling shotgun on that spot.you don't get to. that's not how waitlists work.
"Sorry; this mouth's only good for so much grabbing. Give me a rope and I could help hoist that... engine?"
((Dave could maybe lift with his big cartoon horns. Pretend you're a forklift :D))
Hey fireman, I think you're the only one who can actually lift John's engine here. We need to perform an engine transplant on the jeep.[2]
Tell the engine spirit to bring us out of here.
Use doot doot sonar to look at Hyenakle's broken bones, and try to set them with telekinesis (OP glass sphere FTW!). Take it slowly, don't do anything if doing things would mean splatting his skull through his brains.
ANGRIER DREAMS.
The left arm claw is luckily not the giant one, since the giant one would weigh upwards of 100lbs and be extremely awkward for you to use. The left one is a bit longer than your arm should be, but at least it is a reasonable size and weight.And Xan...well he has 3 fingers and a thumb. He should also probably burninate that boneless arm because it is gonna get infected as is.Thanks for the suggestion!
"Actually, I just had an idea about that arm issue."
Time to do something perfectly sensible. This being go get the giant crab claw.
Then magically burninate off what's left of my boneless arm, chew a leaf of my magical healing plant, and use the pent-up sacrificial magic power from the burnination to fuse the crab claw to my newly bared shoulder.
That's how magic fire works. I'm a mofukin fire wizard so that's how I know. Any plebeians watching surely would have faith that I can do this.
...
hinty hintittys
((This seems like a good idea.))
Right, let's install that engine into the jeep! Birdhands to the rescue!
((Yeah, Dave's pretty useless unless you need someone adorable. I have a couple ideas for him, but he lacks IC knowledge...))
Keep trying to help.
"Sorry; this mouth's only good for so much grabbing. Give me a rope and I could help hoist that... engine?"
Keep assisting in whatever way. Fetching tools? I have a screwdriver taped to one horn.Taping a screwdriver to one horn?
"This would be easier if I had hands, or if I was bigger! Why'd I have to become such a small beast?"
Keep assisting in whatever way. Fetching tools? I have a screwdriver taped to one horn.Taping a screwdriver to one horn?
"This would be easier if I had hands, or if I was bigger! Why'd I have to become such a small beast?"
This level of weaponized cuteness is close to a war crime.
Scavenge bits from John's corpse to improve this dismal state of affairs. Be a great friend and make John the Jeep Engine or something.John's corpse is entirely organic, save for the engine you've already extracted, so scavenging bits of offal from his corpse won't help. Well...it might make a good snack for you, but if you really want to make his current body more fit to house him, you're gonna need to find some tools and some car parts. Which are in rather short supply here.
"Fuck yes, I did it!"The engine spirit turns the war beast around and it lumbers back through the forest and into the city outskirts, far beyond the trees and their hidden dangers.
Show off my awesome crab arm. Then also talk to Xan the Engine Spirit.
"Bring us back to the place we came from before this, Xan. I think we might be able to figure out where we are based on that. We had a map, didn't we?"
Also look for the map (just IC).
Scream at the engine spirit to go ahead and use it's best judgement already. That is, get us to a place where we aren't being attacked by animal people.You disconnect the engine spirit from the controls of the war beast and wrap it around the steering wheel of the jeep.
Once we're a good distance away, we should put the engine spirit back in the jeep so it can maybe help John.
Keep assisting in whatever way. Fetching tools? I have a screwdriver taped to one horn.You watch the going's on, plodding around, ever ready to be useful if you can. For the moment though, things seem quiet, and your help is unneeded, or at least unrequested.
"This would be easier if I had hands, or if I was bigger! Why'd I have to become such a small beast?"
Well, if it's entirely organic, there ought to be some input/output ports for that damn engine I can scavenge, be they mechanical or Cronenbergian in style. So get to it!You already got those tubes when you originally moved the engine; I assumed you left them attached and didn't just cut the engine and nothing else out. He was literally an engine with some tubes connected to various orifices. It's uncertain exactly how he moved the limbs.
"Just tell John that he's still alive, and that we'll try to get him a new body."He says to turn on the radio."
Talk to engine spirit then put it back on the beast. Raise morale with music.
Xankarvo comes back holding the map. (http://m.imgur.com/wLSkYE8?r)It should be noted that you turned 180 and walked back into the area with the semi-living giants from earlier.
"Well then. I'd guess that forest was the Deep Woods, which means we're most likely in ... Idol Henge, mayhaps? I'm not sure, I wasn't paying attention the first time we came around here."
Mayhaps that Garden of the War Gods is where John saw those 'imperfect' things?
Notice my surroundings and try to make a connection with them to one of the places on the map. Where we at?
"Hmm. If they weren't so obviously sentient I'd say we ride in on John and hope their pattern recognition isn't too good.
What do you need to repair yourself? You're cracked."
((what's the plan for introducing those next players? do they need to post that they are aware their turn is up, or will an announcement be made, or what?))Next new area we enter will have them. Though having the players post that they are alive would be good too
Mysterious!You turn on the radio. John can now speak through it.Well, does the jeep have a radio? Can we hook John's voice-thing up to that?wait shit I can't read, just turn on the radio in that case!
EDIT: Also, take a look around where we are now. Any sign of those animal dudes following us?
"Alright, so if we're here and they're south of us, then ... hmm. One wonders why the god eaters aren't coming into here to eat all these crippled gods. Anyhow, my intuition's never wrong, and I know where to go. But scarred tribes sounds a bit aggressive, and coming in wounded like this wouldn't do well for first impressions. So! How're we going to get you back on your feet."The deer man is whole, save for the head. Though fusing flesh to speed healing on this level...oh dear thats gonna have a heck of a cost. And thats if it works. You can feel it down in your wizard guts, such things are dangerous. Perhaps there might be some method of stacking the deck...
Assess overall condition of teammates. Probably the most immediately helpful ones are Bird and Antisocial Glass Ball. Are there any corpse parts around I could fuse to Hyenakles to speed up his recovery?
"Most of the places on the map sound like places we don't want to go. Which raises the question of why we went to a place called Superhell.There's no glass around here, except for bottles and those are almost all full. Not exactly sure how you'd use them even if they weren't. Melting glass onto an exposed brain is certainly a unique strategy, healing wise, but it's probably a technique not bound for future glories. Vaccination or penicillin it ain't
But west seems as good a direction as any. Maybe we can be friendly with the tribes. In fact, I wonder if we could have been friendly with the godeaters, if we hadn't ridden in on a god.
Look for some glass somewhere on the warbeast that I can use to repair my damage. Failing that, ask someone to look out for mountains of broken glass or something.
- I'll be damned if I know how I'm still alive. I think I can grow into someone's body if you clear out chest and abdomen. Don't know about the car...[3] No luck boy-o, least not anymore than you would have if they hadn't already hooked up all your pipes. Seems you're made for that sweet flesh interfacing. GYO style.
Try to grow into the jeep.
"Well, not like we have much choice besides going past the tribes. You never know with natives, though. Hey, I can help you empty those booze bottles if you need!"You offer your services as mobile alcohol repository.
Helpfully offer to get drunk.
"John, do you reckon you could fit into this deer person if we found a head for it?"
Well, the deer Guy's dead so backlash wouldn't be too much of an issue, I think. Prepare myself in a wizardly way for doing this. Don't actually do it yet, there's no replacement head yet and someone needs to move John into the corpse at a specific time, but charge my fire healing powers."John, do you reckon you could fit into this deer person if we found a head for it?"
- I could certainly try. Never done this before. Given your latest feats in magic, you could probably kill two birds with one stone by burning out his insides to make room for me AND to re-attach his head.
((Drunken dino is best dino))[6]
Dream alcoholic dreams. Be ever useful.
Nah, my healing is pretty much magic. As it says on my character sheet, which you approved nearly a year ago!
*Thumbs up*
And I'm pretty sure there's at least some empty bottles around here, Xannie's been spewing a few flames around.
Ooh, go find a replacement head for the deer body! Scavenging skills go!Hmm replacement head...Lets see...Well you have John's head...thats...mostly intact. Technically the deer man's head would work fine too, it was nice and cleanly severed, so you could just put it back on. Metal man is gone, crab man had no head and also exploded...Maybe you could use his giant claw as a comedy joke head? Ha ha, april fools, your body isn't viable and now you're trapped in a senseless living hell!
Maybe a really cool skull that Xankarvo can set on fire and animate with faith and shit. That's be, like, almost next-level shit, right?
Charge how?Well, the deer Guy's dead so backlash wouldn't be too much of an issue, I think. Prepare myself in a wizardly way for doing this. Don't actually do it yet, there's no replacement head yet and someone needs to move John into the corpse at a specific time, but charge my fire healing powers."John, do you reckon you could fit into this deer person if we found a head for it?"
- I could certainly try. Never done this before. Given your latest feats in magic, you could probably kill two birds with one stone by burning out his insides to make room for me AND to re-attach his head.
[2]In which case the character that I'm playing is not the one that I made a sheet for, as I cannot see how the following is possible without magic:
Apparently your healing ain't no magic at all.
Shards or pieces of glass can be used to repair scratches and cracks in the sphere.
Wander into Dave's dream sequence, because why not.Also show up in there. Carrying a keg of dream-beer and a large boombox.
Slightly comically oversized skull it is! I'm sure any practical concerns can be patched over with sufficient faith and ignorance.I'm pretty sure someone in the vatican has used that exact line of reasoning at one point or another.
Logically, if a skull is animated and on fire, it can see. How else would wheel skelingtons be able to steer?Let me rephrase that. You have it but it wasn't working.
Besides, I have direct damn evidence that skulls can talk. I mean, come ON.[2]In which case the character that I'm playing is not the one that I made a sheet for, as I cannot see how the following is possible without magic:
Apparently your healing ain't no magic at all.Shards or pieces of glass can be used to repair scratches and cracks in the sphere.
Meanwhile, hover near Dave and beatbox to make a soundtrack for the party being thrown in his dreams.
DBZ style yelling? :P I kid, maybe just mentally psyching myself up for the operation or somesuch.[2]
"A skull?"
"Are there any like me here, I wonder? Not sure what this dream is, but why not?"You see one like you, but it is much bigger, less cute and doesn't seem to have sapience like you. It chews grass like a bovine and surveys the world with uncomprehending reptilian eyes.
Seek others of my kind. How do I compare?
Wander into Dave's dream sequence, because why not.[4]
[no]Wander into Dave's dream sequence, because why not.Also show up in there. Carrying a keg of dream-beer and a large boombox.
Xankarvo shakes his head and snaps back to reality.[4]
"My bad, got caught up in the things I've planned for my future omnipotence. So, skull for the head? That'll work probably. Be ready to get John into the deer guy's body cavity."
Make sure Bird and also Bowling Ball Brain are helping me with this thing and are prepared to actually transfer John to the thing. Then use me magic powers to burn out the organs and stuff taking up Johnspace inside the deer guy, and use the power I get from the sacrifice of the dead flesh to fuse the skull to its neck.
"Huh... why so much bigger?"Nothing, really. Just more dinosaurs. More ferns and fronds and oversized plants and insects.
Explore the world! What wonders can be found?
Be the best bird I can be as I assist Xan's effort to attach this skull!
Help with theYou do your best, but apparently it doesn't measure up. Not quite, at least.ritualoperation as best as possible.
"Not particularly, but I've never been the type to see the appeal to sexual acts. I'm open to go anywhere there are people to spread the knowledge of my powers to - I'm eager to see how they grow."
Grow into the new body.This body is...well it's not exactly mint condition, but you can get the arms and legs moving and stagger around a bit. Gonna take some getting used to. Especially this dutch angle view they've managed to give you. Your head also doesn't seem to turn...you have to physically turn and face whatever you look at. Thats gonna take some getting used to as well.
- Maybe to the west, into Cemiac Empire? Empire typically stands for some degree of civilisation and dignity, and I have gained some appreciation for those lately. Then again, they might be the ravaging empire type... Succubus hell has a nice ring to it, don't you think?
Communicate with my ancestors.They seem to mostly ignore you, occasionally making gutteral grunts or strange hissing noises. One of them starts talking with the voice of one of your road trip friends. Huh...
You do your best impression of a carved wooden ornament. I think we all would have preferred a mermaid minus the bikini but we make due."Not particularly, but I've never been the type to see the appeal to sexual acts. I'm open to go anywhere there are people to spread the knowledge of my powers to - I'm eager to see how they grow."
"I would bet that if there ever was a place to change your mind on that first part, good chap, it would be Succubus Hell."
"I'm not rightly certain how the 'eats your soul' bit of succubation works here in Hell, however. Do they just provide, er, incentives for us to stay? Ooh er."
Perch and cast a sharp eye westward. Spread wings. Be a figurehead!
"Right. Xan, we go west!"The beast starts walking toward the west while you look around. Hmm. Lost some railings...and now your housing has a new skylight...deck is scorched in one place...Lots of holes from harpoons and grappling hooks. You stack the bodies off in one corner of the deck and then secure a sheet over the hole in the roof. It's not perfect, but it's better than nothing.
West! Try to assess whatever damage the warbeast sustained during the attack. Maybe try fixing some of the more fixable stuff, stack the bodies neatly, etc.
- This body is not as good as the one that broke, but it beats slow death of hunger, rust and sensory deprivation. Maybe we'll get me another one on our way, eventually. My hands, legs and eyes are with me, and that's good enough for now.Your old clothes are torn up, so you dig something out of the crew quarters. Loose cloth clothing, coarse but sturdy, dyed a strange shade of organic green, with a black surcoat over it. You get yourself some matching black cloth and carefully wrap it around your head and shoulders so that only your eyes are exposed. That should keep you from looking so...obviously second hand, so to speak.
Go find myself something to wear - I'm not used to walking around in nothing but loincloth. Then go see Hyenakles: how is he doing?
"Hey buddy! What in the blazes is this place?"
"I wouldn't think John would've talked to you given that I just gave him a new body a minute ago."
"Hmm. Mayhaps I should fuse some more arms to my torso using these powers I've obtained, could be useful in the future as well as creating an intimidating reputation. Mayhaps..."I'm pretty sure there's one body left with arms, the guy that Toaster killed. I completely forget what he was though.
Assess the number of functional arms the corpses have, how many left, how many right. Are there any particularly cool-looking ones should I begin an Asura impression?
Take flight and circle around. What do I see on the horizon?Oh look, there's a camp fire down there in the ruins. Perhaps there are new people down there that would like to join your little roadtrip
Well, nothing ventured nothing gained - magically burn the rest of the dude's body except for his arms, then fuse his arms to my body just below my other arms using the power I got from his burninated body to avoid any backlash.
Go sit in my driver's seat.
We should go check out that campfire we spotted. It worked out so well last time.
Onward to new meatshields for the actually important crew!We're gonna assume you get over there and make contact.
Examine the campfire people. Do they seem like trustworthy sorts?Thats really quite hard to tell. Judging from the players though:
Well, nothing ventured nothing gained - magically burn the rest of the dude's body except for his arms, then fuse his arms to my body just below my other arms using the power I got from his burninated body to avoid any backlash.[3]
I'd recommend gawking from behind something in the future. Xan is starting to try and find ways to abuse his power and this always ends in an explosion.Well, nothing ventured nothing gained - magically burn the rest of the dude's body except for his arms, then fuse his arms to my body just below my other arms using the power I got from his burninated body to avoid any backlash.
Gawk openly at this.
"Alright, but where were you from before that? In your former lives?""It was scary. Ryan was eaten..."
- More importantly, how good are you at handling stuff with them claws? Can you handle it so it stays in one piece afterwards? And how often and how much do you eat?"I can stab fine! See? Big thing still in one piece!" ((Assuming I'm climbing up the beast right now.))
For such a breezy ride, you're very utilitarian. Don't you want to hear his story?
"I can stab fine! See? Big thing still in one piece!" ((Assuming I'm climbing up the beast right now.))
"Meal a day keeps mommy away!"
((Baby deathclaws don't much of horns yet. This will change, hopefully.))"A collection of wondrous beasts. You would have made a fine specimen."
"Yes, you did! What's a menagerie?"
"Ooh, a big thing is coming! I wonder what it wants! What's that on it's back?"[2]
Baby deathclaw sprints to the approaching giant and climbs up its legs up to the platform. We're gonna have jolly good time playing together!
"Whoaah... that's a pretty big big thing."[2]
Accompany baby deathclaw up there! Begin gnawing at the upholstery, if there is any! If there isn't, just be cool.
Alert the platform crew to incoming intruders!
Hover about and pester the little beastie frustratingly close to clawing range.You hover just out of reach. Ie about 5 feet off the ground since these guys seem incapable of getting any vertical leverage.
Woah there, scaly one. Are you going to be nice and promise not to break anything, or am I going to have to melt you with my crystal ball death laser?
Huhhum makes an ominous laser-charging-up noise as proof of this capability.
Grab rifle, fire a shot in the air, reload.You grab your rifle, walk to the edge -but not too close, your recent close encounters with gravity have left you a little bit leery of high places- and fire a shot into the air before addressing the would be invaders.
- HOLD IT PUNKS!
- We are, in fact, looking for some manpower. And we take in basically any schmuck we come across. But it became sort of a tradition that you at least introduce yourself before you get on board. So give me names.
"An acceptable enough result - I suppose future experimentation can be conducted in a proper facility rather than an on-the-go proced- oh my me that thing is beautiful. The claws, the horns, the teeth... Back when I was alive I would honor it with a place within my menagerie.You look down at the little death claw in a way that...well if you were looking at a human child like that I think we'd be fitting you for a beard, thick glasses and a seat over there.
Did I say all that out loud?"
Accept dangers of mad sciencemagic in adhoc facilities for now, admire Deathclaw's form.
((That thing about my powers always blowing up in my face is being sigged. Can't do it right now, but soon.))
Guess I can always sharpen my claws on beast's legs until they decide to have me lifted up.[6]
"Right then, we have vagrants humping our warbeast and shouting. This seems unusual."They appear to involve making their natural advantages questionably less effective.
Observe the mating rituals of the noble Common Vagrant.
"In any case, more meat shields is always a good thing to possess. Xan, lift them up here if you could."You have the engine spirit lift the (questionably numerous) visitors up onto the deck.
Engine Xan, lift new ppl up pls
((... an attention hungry, fickle, adhd riddled mental case. the soul of fame is a bit of a challenge, let's say.))((Sounds like me a couple years ago before puberty hit and everything manage to "fix" itsself))
Assert wizardly dominanceI'm not sure what you mean by this. [6]
I'm bored and I want to see what happens
"Oh well, they'll grow back. Why you have a jeep up here? What's up with that worm on ropes? Did you kill that guy?"The logic of having sharp blades equating to being a good surgeon is a tenuous one at best. By this logic my blender is a world class internal medicine practitioner.
Check out the dying hyena guy. I would prabably make excellent surgeon by virtue of having couple of very sharp blades on my fingers.
Perch quietly and observe happenings for now. Prepare to take flight.You watch as xan lays a verbal smackdown on the new crewmembers whilst throwing up what could either be mystical hand movements or perhaps just gang signs. Ah, no wait, you recognize that one. It has the ability to make people it is directed at very angry. A very powerful hand movement indeed; and it only uses one finger!
Nervously seek a corner on the warbeast howdah and attempt to be unobtrusive! All seven feet or so of me!You get cornered by xan's verbal onslaught and shrink down into a ball. You nervously lick the deck as he continues to yell at you. It tastes like wood mixed with blood. Probably because thats what it is.
Let Deathclaw do the talking.
Also have a sneaky nibble and see what the stuff tastes like.
((room for one more, PW? I don't know how involved or effective my character would be. I'm not sure i have the energy to play an attention hungry, fickle, adhd riddled mental case. the soul of fame is a bit of a challenge, let's say.))Sure, especially if the other people are gonna be no-shows.
There's a lot of things I could do here with your fire magic. Flaming boner comes to mind. Waving one of those around is a pretty good show of dominance.
The logic of having sharp blades equating to being a good surgeon is a tenuous one at best. By this logic my blender is a world class internal medicine practitioner.Well, that's true, isn't it? Put a kidney into blender, and kidney stones will stop being a problem real soon.
"Hey, that's not food."
"You'll like this place. It's a good trip!"I know about things! And stuff, too! I cold tell you great stories of action, adventure, fortune, and power!" Sepbastion says, hopping on Xan's head and flicking his tail about.
Do any of you know about dinos?"
((I'm pretty sure Hyenakles is still unconscious. This is going to be a rather one-sided conversation, albeit an interesting one.))
((Do what you you think John would do. I don't want Hyenakles to die, but I'm not going to try to stop you from rp'ing your character as you see fit. I was just pointing out that Hyenakles can't really give John an answer at this point.))
"You'll like this place. It's a good trip!"I know about things! And stuff, too! I cold tell you great stories of action, adventure, fortune, and power!" Sepbastion says, hopping on Xan's head and flicking his tail about.
Do any of you know about dinos?"
"oh yeah. Huge! Some of them flew, and some ran, and some hunted in packs, especially the genetically engeineered ones that wreaked havok on the scientists and took over the whole island they were bred on and escaped to the mainland. And the ones given chainsaw hands and lazer eyes. So badass!""You'll like this place. It's a good trip!"I know about things! And stuff, too! I cold tell you great stories of action, adventure, fortune, and power!" Sepbastion says, hopping on Xan's head and flicking his tail about.
Do any of you know about dinos?"
"Then tell me of these... dinos. I thought I saw some in a dream, but they were... different. Bigger."
Dave sat back in awe for a moment. He wasn't sure what most of that in the second half was, but a couple things were clear. "Huh. That's awesome. And I take it this form was one of the bigger ones? Then... why aren't I big?"Simple, really. You've crossed the Bishonen Line. You are now a stage three villain, and quite probably a boss monster."
Go lie in the dirt and sing the scary song. Practice not giving a damn about its effect.[1]
Okay, let's see, I was a largish cat that can manipulate objects with surprising dexterity, good at fixating sapients on pointless things and at gaining info, and bad at keeping a train of thought and distinguishing reality from fantasy. Thrives on attention. Got it.You hang around on Xan's shoulder for a while, interjecting at complete random with completely random phrases. Things like "YEAH!" and "THE BEST!" and "I PREFER BROWN EGGS!" and "I'M EXPERIENCING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS!".
Sebastian climbs up Xan's pant leg, and launch onto his shoulder, and yowls at the other newcomers, occasionally interjecting with a "yeah!" and "that's right, the best!" and other such stuff.
Edit: after the angry tirade Sebastion then leaps down to assist with Hyenakles by laying on his head and purring, since cat purrs are known to have a healing effect. He stares into Hyenakles' face and wills him to be better.
Alright, on it.There's a lot of things I could do here with your fire magic. Flaming boner comes to mind. Waving one of those around is a pretty good show of dominance.
((cue the music (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7W35dyPTh6o)))
- Fine, we picked 'em up, moving on.
Now, we were heading towards Cemiac Empire, I believe. We go on.
The logic of having sharp blades equating to being a good surgeon is a tenuous one at best. By this logic my blender is a world class internal medicine practitioner.Well, that's true, isn't it? Put a kidney into blender, and kidney stones will stop being a problem real soon.
"Humans can be pretty evil, right? I think I might try being evil for few days."
Release this hyena guy from his suffering and secure my dinner for next few days.
Don't get eaten?
Know what, time for another portable miracle. We still have corpses/corpse parts, right? Go use them as sacrifice fuel to heal the hyena. Make sure everyone knows what I'm about to do, make a big deal out of it. Fire totally heals stuff after all, because I say so. And as I demonstrated just last turn, I'm the goddamn motherfucking OG of Fire and cosmic powers and shit.
"Wizardry! Wizardry! Wizardry!"4v5
Chant inspirationally as I interfere with attempts to execute Hyenakles by the baby deathclaw. Maybe grab it and drop it down from the warbeast if it's small enough to carry. Otherwise just distract it.
Timidly, with one hand clasped over my eyes as I cower on the floor, offer up my half-eaten chocolate bar to the mighty/scary fire mage.Mighty/ scary? Or perhaps just mighty scary?
Hope that this convinces him not to reduce me to ash with his powers.
((A bird putting deathclaw in full nelson? This is new.))
((I would argue that with my very sharp claws I could still turn you into tasty bloody ribbons very fast. Eh, I'll wait for better time to have my dinner then.))((A bird putting deathclaw in full nelson? This is new.))
((A small deathclaw and a large bird.))
((I would argue that with my very sharp claws I could still turn you into tasty bloody ribbons very fast. Eh, I'll wait for better time to have my dinner then.))
((He's not just any old bird, damnit.
Also, you guys are heartless bastards. We'll probably stumble across some well-stocked, highly advanced hell-hospital at any moment.))
((Which does raise the question of whether Flamenco John and Tarmac are actually permanently and completely dead due to being turned into fruit and presumably eaten/blown up.))
Now cut the good parts off carcass.
Dave turns tail and hides until the violence is over!It's funny because you actually have a tail.
"Maybe I'd be better off... New place, new body, new life. But what would be the point? New life comes with new troubles. New body comes with new limitations. New place comes with new life. How many times will I die?"[2]
Fly straight upwards until the ground is out of view, then go up some more.
Mr. Bird, horribly disappointed at the lack of stupendous wizardry, turns his attention to other matters. He flaps his wings as something comes to mind.You circle out from the warbeast, searching. You can see, atop several of the mesas, are what appear to be primitive villages. Clusters of yurts circled around burnt out fire pits. No signs of movement, at least none you can see from here, and no smoke from the fires. But the yurts themselves are well maintained, not abandoned and falling apart. There's either people still in them or they were abandoned very recently.
"Aha! Should we tell the warbeast to walk without rhythm, then?"
Emit a saurian cackle at this personal display of wit.
Also fly a little higher and check about for signs of anything in the distance. Maybe follow some of the more promising sets of tracks?
"Waitwaitwaitwait hang on. I can fix him, I just need a living sacrifice."
He looks ominously at some of the new arrivals who haven't done much of anything yet.
"Juat one..."
WaitstopDrMcTaalikisactusllyagoodplayer
Instead, choose the person who's been inactive the longest, I think it's probably that controlling mom lady. Give her one last chance to start doing stuff. If not ... LET THE MAGIC FLOW
John pushes people gathering around Hyenakles gently aside as he steps in closer with loaded rifle in his hands.4v3
- We had a good run together. If you don't understand why am I doing this now, I hope you will later. Goodbye, and roam free again.
Blam.
John cranks the lever on the bottom of the rifle, ejecting a case, and speaks as he reaches for new one to load:
- If you will find it impossible to rejuvenate my dying body in 24 hours, I expect you to do the same. Now cut the good parts off carcass.
We will follow the creatures who make their way in that general direction we figured out, if there will be no objections.
Having been shooed away from his napping point by a gun wielding nut, Sebastian examines the tracks and the scene, and recalls what information he has about this place, it's inhabitants - sojourners, and the destination of those tracks.[6]
while most of the people in this group aren't exactly supermodels, they aren't horribly deformed and messed up either. And the Scarred tribes would vastly prefer if they were.((Ah, so the village is populated by the waitlist then? :P))
"Good news everyone! We're all going to become pirates! Yarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"
Sebastian examines the crew, looking for suitably scarred individuals to use as frontsmen for interacting with the scarred tribes.
Dave noticed one of the newcomers exploring the place. "It's a pretty good place here, really. And hey, there's booze! We should all have a drink to celebrate!""Milk, please. Chocolate. Shaken, not shtirred. Make it a double. On the rocks. No, scratch that last part, and put it in a bowl instead."
Get everyone to have a drink to celebrate!
"Cripples, mostly. Sometimes zombies. They tend to summon the spirit of the ocean to fight against underwater versions of themselves and Tea Companies. Lovable rapscallions whose only flaws was that they loved too much. Pirates are the best, mate! Yarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!""Good news everyone! We're all going to become pirates! Yarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"
Sebastian examines the crew, looking for suitably scarred individuals to use as frontsmen for interacting with the scarred tribes.
"Yarrr! What are pirates?"
"Nothing? Well then. Thank you for volunteering."[5][5]
MAGICAL SACRIFICE FAT LADY TO HEAL HYENA RITUAL A GO GO
"Good news everyone! We're all going to become pirates! Yarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"Hmm...too bad they gave John a new body, he would have been just perfect before. Now he's all pristine and crap, though the weird deer head might count, maybe. The closest to what you're looking for is the critically injured hyena man. Maybe when this...smoldering hobo who is talking about "healing" him does what he claims he's going to do, he could leave the scars? Maybe add a few? You should ask him.
Sebastian examines the crew, looking for suitably scarred individuals to use as frontsmen for interacting with the scarred tribes.
((Oh dear, I could have sworn I posted an action last turn! Whoops!))There's not a whole lot of room around here; there's the deck here in the front, and then the crew quarters which looks like a fairly cozy barracks, albeit partially destroyed from some kind of fight. There are a few other platforms but they're not much more than connected vantage points for firing down on the ground, by the look of it. There's definitely supplies in the crew quarters but...there's a lot of people in there.
Peer around and, if nothing seems to be posing an immediate threat, explore this strange structure I'm riding on.
Is there any food? Any nice hiding places? Any COOL STUFF?
Dave noticed one of the newcomers exploring the place. "It's a pretty good place here, really. And hey, there's booze! We should all have a drink to celebrate!"You freely pass out your booze to anyone who will take it.
Get everyone to have a drink to celebrate!
"Yarrrrr! Pirates be! I sharpened my claws too much so I'm cripple already! See?" Ryan shows his stumped, but razor sharp claws. "But where we do find tea companies to fight with?"Alas, tea companies, fur traders, spice mongols, bootleggers, gun runners, and seedsmen are nowhere to be found. Not a single trading empire with questionable morals or homicidal drive for profits.
Look out for a tea company we can fight against! Tea party will do in absence of anything better. Actually any party is fine if I get desperate enough.
Hm. Are there any bones around?Skipping the innuendo, there will be in a few minutes if xan gets his way.
Do glass orb things. Wonder where the beast went. Question my continued relevance to the plot.((I might have helped you out, had we met, and you been interesting enough to catch Sebastian's attention. As it is, IC, I have no knowledge of your character, and therefore literally could not care less.))
Do the things needed to perform the ritual with actual safety and shit. Campfires and all that.
Observe excitedly ongoings and accidentally stab something.you're my hero, Ao
Keep your pants on, wizard Oz.Observe excitedly ongoings and accidentally stab something.you're my hero, Ao
Do glass orb things. Wonder where the beast went. Question my continued relevance to the plot.Maybe you should try to chase after it, or maybe try to go elsewhere? I can't make doing nothing more interesting than doing nothing.
"Make sure he looks good after you do the brain transplant. Lots of spikes, boils, warts, maybe some horns, mkay? This'll be great. We'll have our hunchback! Hey guys, the inhabitants here like it weird, like the more popular porn sites, you know? So let's dress up like the mutants we really are. the time for sparkle and moodinees is gone, Freakshows is where it's at!"Gunpowder you can get, namely by scavenging bullets if you were so inclined. However, the other things are less readily available.
I encourage a certain attitude of bizarreness in Xan and Hyenakles, so that the surgery is more likely to produce interesting effects. I Also look around for special effects material, like muslin and gunpowder and glue and magnesium powder and stuff, so we can put on a good show for the tribes.
Observe excitedly ongoings and accidentally stab something.[1]
Do the things needed to perform the ritual with actual safety and shit. Campfires and all that.I was hoping more people would actually help get this set up...oh well.
I helped! Nothing? Nothing.
I encourage a certain attitude of bizarreness in Xan and Hyenakles, so that the surgery is more likely to produce interesting effects.Do the things needed to perform the ritual with actual safety and shit. Campfires and all that.I was hoping more people would actually help get this set up...oh well.
The fire dies down after a few seconds, leaving a glassy crater with you and a fully healed hyenakles in the center.
"Wha... How long was I out?! Where the hell am I?"
Go follow the sound of that massive explosion. Wonder how the hell I'm going to weaponize song with this shitty will save. Complain that what the wiki says about the things I'm bad at doesn't reflect my character sheet. Then, go fix that goddamn shit.You make it back to the group, several of which are now engaging in cannibalism. Hmmm.
"Explosions! Cool!"With the help of a stick and some rigorious poking you manage to get the body out of the fire. It's a bit charred on the outside but still nice and juicy on the inside. Tastes like sweet pork.
Well, we have well cooked meat over there. Shame to waste it. And gotta have dinner.
Xankarvo steps back from his triumph, regular arm and crab arm spread wide. He turns to everyone else.You extend your not crabby arm to hyenankles while grinning in a rather unwholesome way. Grinning like an old man with binoculars sitting in a tree outside the nudist beach.
"If any of you doubted my power before, see the error of your ways now. My fire may unmake and my fire may restore. It is my will that decides which."
With that, he turns back to Hyenakles and pokes him until he wakes up.
"Wake up, oh hunter. You owe me too much not to, I believe."
Hold my non-crab arm out to Hyenakles so he can get up with my assistance. Bask in the adoration and fear of everyone else. Soon to include the hyena if I've anything to say about it.
((I only just noticed, after rereading several pages, that my attempt to enter Dave's dream a few turns back was actually successful. Darn, that would have been a fun subplot.))You get out of the crater, walk over to the still smoldering body of the woman sacrificed to revive you and heft it up onto your shoulder. The little...the hell is that thing? Some sort of tiny bipedal crocodile? Well whatever it is, it whines about you stealing its "Munchies". So you grab it by the scruff of it's little reptilian neck and set it on your shoulder before having the war beast lift you back onto the deck. You drop the corpse and the critter goes right back to gnawing on it; you tear off a handful of meat and then go look for your deer flank.
"Mmmmmm! Shaddup, I'm trying to sleep..."
"Ugh.... alright. ok. I'm awake." Hyenakles slowly opens his left eye, glaring at no one in particular.
That's strange.... I don't remember going to sleep in a crater...
He turns his head, seeing Xankarvo and the others gathered around. Damn... what were their names? Too many to keep track of, anyway. Had Mr. Bird always been a triceratops?
Eh, no matter...
...
"...Well? Whaddya want?"
Hyenakles slowly sits up, careful to avoid cutting himself on the glass. He begins to reach for Xan's extended hand, but recoils at the sight of his other arm. Something about the other arm bothers him; makes the rage and the fear hidden deep in his stomach boil up his esophagus and into his brain.
It's at about that moment that he realizes the absurdity of the present situation.
"Wha... How long was I out?! Where the hell am I?"
Get up, with the help of Xan's not-terrifying arm.Be otherwise characteristically obstinate until someone explains what I'm doing in this crater, and why Xan's arm is so creepy.
EDIT: Resolved via roleplay. Get my pristine hyena bum back on the warbeast. Recover whatever is left of deer shank, and find something to eat.
I hop up onto Xankarvo again and soak up all the attention I can get, yelling encouraging things about being great and stuff, and "tremble before him" and "mighty presence" and stuff like that.You sit on his shoulder and shout various aggrandizing things. They start rather broad but as it goes on, they become increasingly focused on...well. It becomes less about "Tremble before him" and more about "Tremble before his..." if you catch my drift.I helped! Nothing? Nothing.
I encourage a certain attitude of bizarreness in Xan and Hyenakles, so that the surgery is more likely to produce interesting effects.Do the things needed to perform the ritual with actual safety and shit. Campfires and all that.I was hoping more people would actually help get this set up...oh well.
The fire dies down after a few seconds, leaving a glassy crater with you and a fully healed hyenakles in the center.
I think a couple others had "help set up" actions.
Well, he did it! No reason to doubt his power now.You drink until you stop wondering how you're holding the bottle without any thumbs or indeed fingers of any kind.
Have a drink to celebrate! Share with anyone nearby.
- Now if we're done, Xankarvo, let's move on. This bonfire and the flash might have attracted critters, and I am on a streak of bad luck in dealing with those lately.You get back onto the beast and sit in the driver's chair. Now, does this mean follow the dirt roads or head towards the empire? Because the dirt roads seem to, in a very lackadaisical way, lead toward the mesas and their inhabitants.
Once people are back on the beast, resume along the course plotted along the dirt roads in the area.
Stare in awe at the wizard for a while, then scramble back up onto the Warbeast and hide.You sit with the dino and both of you get pleasantly drunk. Eventually the war beast picks you up and plops you on the deck.
Edit: Accept any booze the dino happens to offer me. Cautiously taste it, see if it agrees with my rodent-ish tastebuds and digestion.
Wonderful! Land on the warbeast for now.You land on the warbeast and carefully yank a bone out of the charred body laying on the deck.
"Right, so there's a whole lot of yurts out there, chaps. Very quiet. Too quiet! No doubt there's trouble in there somewhere. Or maybe the sight of an ancient siege engine is one that they recognize. Or maybe they just feel that giant monsters are ample cause to run for the hills. Either way it seems like they're not feeling very sociable!"
"Hey, you guys left me behind. If you care. I know I'm pretty easy to ignore and such.""You are fairly easy to ignore if you wander off without explanation. But you're back now in any case."
Go try to find some locals. be sure they can see my sweet bottle-bottom-shaped scar. Ask if anyone is willing to trade a tape recorder.
"...guys? Where's deer shank? Where the fuck is my deer shank?!"
((WHAT. I WAS OUT OF THE WAITLIST? AND DIED?))
((WHAT. I WAS OUT OF THE WAITLIST? AND DIED?))
Umm...nope. But apparently my character got eaten?((WHAT. I WAS OUT OF THE WAITLIST? AND DIED?))
((Did you get a PM saying you're in?))
Umm...nope. But apparently my character got eaten?
((Mmhmm. It gets very awkward.))
Make sure to eat her brain and heart. Power and Strength resides in those. Gotta eat to grow big!We're gonna get a deathclaw with Kuru aren't we? You eat the brain and heart of the dead lady, despite feeling like her ghost is awkwardly standing right next to you, shaking her head.
"Thank's for lift hyenaman!"
"Hey, you guys left me behind. If you care. I know I'm pretty easy to ignore and such."You hover down off the war beast and follow one of the meandering paths until you reach base of a mesa. At the end of a path is a rather makeshift way up the mesa wall, a combination of wooden ladders, rope and carved out handholds to let someone climb the sheer side and reach the flat top. This isn't quite as interesting as the fact that bordering the entire way up is a collection of bones, mostly skulls animal hides, frighteningly ugly wooden masks painted in garish colors and the occasional smoldering thing which might be a rod of incense with the dimensions of a drive shaft.
Go try to find some locals. be sure they can see my sweet bottle-bottom-shaped scar. Ask if anyone is willing to trade a tape recorder.
You don't look different as far as you can tell, but you feel a little different. Hard to put your finger on."Hey, you guys left me behind. If you care. I know I'm pretty easy to ignore and such.""You are fairly easy to ignore if you wander off without explanation. But you're back now in any case."
Go try to find some locals. be sure they can see my sweet bottle-bottom-shaped scar. Ask if anyone is willing to trade a tape recorder.
Enjoy the praise given to me by the cat or whatever it is that's on my shoulder. Idly inspect myself for any additional physical differences as we move on.
...
Not checking to see if I have a massive wizard shlong, no, though that may be included if you wanna make a joke about it, PW. I'm not one to take away an honest opportunity like that.
Sebastian, looking for more and greater attention, attempts to, through will power and desire, make the warbeast very shiny, and himself even shinier.[4]
((A wizard's staff has a knob on the end))You excitedly sing a shanty, stamping your feet and charging around the deck trying to get others involved. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGyPuey-1Jw)
"Now thiiiis is a fellow who knows... how to parrrty! Let's get some sea shanties going!"
Sing a nice sailing song for the group.
If I still have my half-eaten chocolate bar (I don't think Xan ever mentioned taking it), drunkenly offer it to the weird not-dead hyena man as a replacement for his lost thingy. That's a good way to make friends, right?
Otherwise, drink some more then find a nice, safe spot to nap.
((Chocolate for canines! I second this motion!))
((Hyenas aren't canines, they're more like weird noncat cats.Hyenas are from the same suborder as cats; and chocolate is poisonous to cats as well as dogs, so there's a good chance it would be dangerous to hyenas too.
...Probably still allergic to chocolate though.))
Go try to find some locals. be sure they can see my sweet bottle-bottom-shaped scar. Ask if anyone is willing to trade a tape recorder.Still doing all this. Fly up the ladders and stuff, looking out for anything actually valuable, but not obviously important. Think that there's probably a village up on top of the mesa.
Great, so despite me saying it twice, no one actually sent the guy a PM before you murdered him? Wonderful.
"Can anyone bust ghosts? I feel like here's one staring me."
Goddamn Bystander effect.Great, so despite me saying it twice, no one actually sent the guy a PM before you murdered him? Wonderful.
((We probably each individually assumed someone else would do it/had already done it.))
((I know I assumed I'd done it for some reason but looking through my sent PMs it's obvious I never did. Not sure how I missed that.))Goddamn Bystander effect.Great, so despite me saying it twice, no one actually sent the guy a PM before you murdered him? Wonderful.
((We probably each individually assumed someone else would do it/had already done it.))
((I know I assumed I'd done it for some reason but looking through my sent PMs it's obvious I never did. Not sure how I missed that.))Goddamn Bystander effect.Great, so despite me saying it twice, no one actually sent the guy a PM before you murdered him? Wonderful.
((We probably each individually assumed someone else would do it/had already done it.))
"That'll be the brain you ate, most likely. I can put a ward into your forehead that should help ward it away."
If baby deathclaw agrees, burn a cool-looking pattern into his forehead with a hot poker or sword or other pointy thing/carve it into his forehead with my crab claw. Make an ominous production out of it, relying on his belief to make it real. Observe the results of my first thoughtform.
((Usually it is GM's burden to remind players when they are up. And player's responsiblity to keep track of the game they wanted to join in. ER is exception.))((nah. If a player wants in, they will watch the thread. an extended inactivity means interest has waned. It was announced in thread more than once over a several week period. The GM's responisbility lies with what the GM decides is their responsibility as far as that goes.))
"If it makes ghosts go away, then sure. Will it ward all ghosts away?"
Permit Xan's fire brand performance on me. Looks like he knows what he's doing.
You rise up to the top of the mesa and immediately come face to...glass exterior surface with a man. He looks human, but he also appears to be severely crippled. He's wearing nothing but a loin cloth and a wooden mask situated in the middle of a unruly mane of filthy hair. His entire body has the texture or fleshy tree bark; twisted and knobbed with scars; darkly tanned skin shot through with streaks of pale, smooth or puckered flesh. He freezes the moment he sees you and you both just sort of sit there, in a motionless, eyeless stand off.Go try to find some locals. be sure they can see my sweet bottle-bottom-shaped scar. Ask if anyone is willing to trade a tape recorder.Still doing all this. Fly up the ladders and stuff, looking out for anything actually valuable, but not obviously important. Think that there's probably a village up on top of the mesa.
You offer to mildly maim xan. I question if he'll accept.Great, so despite me saying it twice, no one actually sent the guy a PM before you murdered him? Wonderful.
((We probably each individually assumed someone else would do it/had already done it.))"Can anyone bust ghosts? I feel like here's one staring me."
"These things happen when you eat brains, clawfriend. Spiritual experiences, you see. That's why aborigines do it in the first place."
Offer Xan scarification services. As our resident shaman he ought to be properly initiated into the role. Maybe get the deathclaw to help!
((I know I assumed I'd done it for some reason but looking through my sent PMs it's obvious I never did. Not sure how I missed that.))Goddamn Bystander effect.Great, so despite me saying it twice, no one actually sent the guy a PM before you murdered him? Wonderful.
((We probably each individually assumed someone else would do it/had already done it.))
"That'll be the brain you ate, most likely. I can put a ward into your forehead that should help ward it away."
If baby deathclaw agrees, burn a cool-looking pattern into his forehead with a hot poker or sword or other pointy thing/carve it into his forehead with my crab claw. Make an ominous production out of it, relying on his belief to make it real. Observe the results of my first thoughtform.
[3]((I know I assumed I'd done it for some reason but looking through my sent PMs it's obvious I never did. Not sure how I missed that.))Goddamn Bystander effect.Great, so despite me saying it twice, no one actually sent the guy a PM before you murdered him? Wonderful.
((We probably each individually assumed someone else would do it/had already done it.))
"That'll be the brain you ate, most likely. I can put a ward into your forehead that should help ward it away."
If baby deathclaw agrees, burn a cool-looking pattern into his forehead with a hot poker or sword or other pointy thing/carve it into his forehead with my crab claw. Make an ominous production out of it, relying on his belief to make it real. Observe the results of my first thoughtform.
((Usually it is GM's burden to remind players when they are up. And player's responsiblity to keep track of the game they wanted to join in. ER is exception.))
"If it makes ghosts go away, then sure. Will it ward all ghosts away?"
Permit Xan's fire brand performance on me. Looks like he knows what he's doing.
Hmm. good at information retrieval and at distracting and mesmerizing. there is no npc around to mesmerize, so I guess my action will be to[6]
Learn all I can in one turn about how Xan's magic works, so that I may adapt and duplicate it's effects for my own, selfish, attention-getting purposes.
Keep looking for evidence of deer shank, and questioning people frantically about whether they've seen her. Make sure to check that I definitely am not caring it, I guess (I still do according to the wiki page, but I believe that's just out of date). Continue having the aforementioned nervous breakdown.(I'd give you an action but I'm honestly not sure where the thing went. A lot of meat got flung around recently, living or otherwise.)
((PW: You can process this as an action, or just interpret it as a "wait" post. Whichever you'd prefer.))
Ok, you're in. Consider yourself standing on the warbeast deck.((Decided to make a new character.))Spoiler: CS (click to show/hide)
((PS: Sorry for not checking in on the thread. I was lurking regularly for a bit, then checked in more periodically. I just like thought I'd get a reminder, though.))
Keep singing, louder this time. Encourage anyone else who is drinking or singing.You sing louder. You scream atonal lyrics at people on the deck while gesturing at them with your mug of booze in an extremely exaggerated fashion. They seem confused how you're holding the mug without thumbs or indeed digits of any kind.
((It's not the same lady.))((Thanks, edited to make it more in-line with that while still playing myself up.))
Sebastian starts bragging about how great he is, and how likable. He runs around biting peole on the ankles, climbing up pant legs, or bare legs, and telling painful ff color puns. Once he's charged enough ... i don't know ... imagination, he tries to make himself look hideously deformed, like he has a Xan head growing out of the top of his own head. A Xan head, oriented sideways, which constantly vomits in a sad, gurgling fashion.
""If you're attempting to imitate me, it won't work."
I am a completely original character (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UOsTQdFlN0), doing my own thing, for power and glory! And attention. Now feed me! Feed me Seymour! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7SkrYF8lCU)
""If you're attempting to imitate me, it won't work."
((Sorry, but who is she speaking to then?))
You rise up to the top of the mesa and immediately come face to...glass exterior surface with a man. He looks human, but he also appears to be severely crippled. He's wearing nothing but a loin cloth and a wooden mask situated in the middle of a unruly mane of filthy hair. His entire body has the texture or fleshy tree bark; twisted and knobbed with scars; darkly tanned skin shot through with streaks of pale, smooth or puckered flesh. He freezes the moment he sees you and you both just sort of sit there, in a motionless, eyeless stand off.
Xankarvo notices the lady he killed.
"Huh. Must've drawn the reverse symbol by mistake and summoned the ghost to life. Nothing that can be done about that now, but I'll make some alterations that'll help in the future."
Claim credit for the lady appearing, make some more lines and such in the symbol to make it seem a bit more fancy.
Walk over to somebody, and introduce myself.
"Oh, hello! I'm Dianne, one of the members of the world-famous Primettes. Nice to meet you."
"Who's Xan...what's it? How the heck would you regenerate a new heart?"
John steps forward, approaching a new arrival he must've overlooked. Wrapped in shapeless clothes, he seems to himself just a wreck of his former self, with that tacked on immobile skull for a head. One could spot it in his eyes if he - or she - would be perceptive enough to look past the facade, but he saves self-loathing for later.Dianne stares at the man's form, but keeps quiet. After hearing his speech, she responded. "Currently, I have nothing better to do with my un-life other than reminiscing about how I could have been more famous, so I will go along with you guys. It's a pleasure to meet you.
- This man, Xankarvo, has powers far surpassing such a feat, I believe, it's just that he barely controls them now. He grows stronger, and tames them alarmingly fast, especially under pressing circumstances. Name's John. This here beast - he stomps the deck a couple o'times - and posse are travelling together in this realm. Our journeys have left us injured and crooked, and we could use your help, Dianne. We have food and shelter for you if you agree, and we will try to stand for you in times of trouble if you will stand for us. What do you say?
"Wait... so if you're all convinced I'm a giant monster like I saw in my dream, it'll become true?"
"I'm not ugly! Your mom is ugly!"
"I can talk. I'm good at talking!"((One does not follow from the other. ;)))
Xankarvo notices the lady he killed.You do your best to act like everything is going exactly as planned and trace nonsense symbols in the air to reenforce the idea. It's hard to tell if anyone takes you seriously.
"Huh. Must've drawn the reverse symbol by mistake and summoned the ghost to life. Nothing that can be done about that now, but I'll make some alterations that'll help in the future."
Claim credit for the lady appearing, make some more lines and such in the symbol to make it seem a bit more fancy.
((It's not the same lady.))The man straightens up, squares his shoulders and then takes several steps towards you. He stops maybe a foot away and seems to be very intently examining the bottle scar.
"Hello! Do you speak Space-English? Or whatever this is? Hmm, never really thought about it..."
Cheerfully greet this strange and exciting new person!
Sebastian starts bragging about how great he is, and how likable. He runs around biting peole on the ankles, climbing up pant legs, or bare legs, and telling painful ff color puns. Once he's charged enough ... i don't know ... imagination, he tries to make himself look hideously deformed, like he has a Xan head growing out of the top of his own head. A Xan head, oriented sideways, which constantly vomits in a sad, gurgling fashion.[2]
Edit: also, believe really hard that toaster's character is a giant dinosaur. Tell everyone this, regardless of whether they listne. Make them believe through the sheer power ofbullshitentertainment.
Walk over to somebody, and introduce myself.
"Oh, hello! I'm Dianne, one of the members of the world-famous Primettes. Nice to meet you."
"Why not? Strong heart is good heart, it would be good for me. Mommy said she needed to be strong before she ate mine. Xankarvo can make you new one!"You guys seem to have handled this yourselves without me doing anything. Lovely.
Try to convince this singer that me eating her heart would be good idea. Should it fail, look out for someone who looks like they wouldn't miss their integral bodyparts.
Scratch myself. Watch the surroundings idly as I wait for something to happen.You watch the goings on of the glass ball and his new friend from the safety of the warbeast deck.
Cautiously avoid the newcomer. And anyone else, for that matter.
"Swell!"That would be a lot easier if you weren't an adorable little drunk dinosaur running round slurring out lines about how "IMSA BIGGERST ANDS THA BADDEREST DINOSAURAS EBER"
Run around and convince everyone I am a giant beast capable of ripping men in half.
Concluding that his only friend in this hell must be well and truly dead, Hyenakles stomps angrily back onto the deck. He is understandably confused to see that a strange woman with a beehive hairdo has apparently materialized on the warbeast. He approaches slowly, and pinches her on the arm.Hmm...plump and tasty but not venison.
"Hey, you. Do I recognize you?"
Feel up the new recruit like the gentlehyenaman I am. She doesn't happen to feel... venison-y, does she?
"Did I hear someone say they were famous?"
"Right, where are we now? John, have we reached the Scarred Tribes yet?"
"Right, where are we now? John, have we reached the Scarred Tribes yet?"...Xan have you been paying attention to recent events? We're in the land of the scarred tribes. Someone is already talking to them. We've been here a while. Plateaus? Snaking paths? Any of this ringing a bell?
Ascertain what our surroundings look like. Look for anyone from the tribes I've been told of.
"Uh... nothing. Nevermind. Don't worry about it."The damage to the platform doesn't look too terrible; but you're gonna need some materials to fix it. Wood, nails, tools, etc. The roof has been patched temporarily and the holes in the railings are rather...well OSHA wouldn't like it but it's not a structural flaw. You could probably patch the holes in the deck with some some dirt if you really pack it in there, but it's gonna look like crap.
Examine the platform, and assess the damage from the fight. If there's any obvious, easy repair work to be done, start on that.
"That's a no."The man takes a step back.
Hold still and wait to see what they do.
"Okay?"The Best way to do that would be to find materials. There are a few trees around here, gnarled dry ones that look hundreds of years old with wood like compressed sand. You could, with a little help probably cut them down. But you'd need some tools to hack it up into planks and even then you'd need nails or glue or something to put everything together.
Try to get other people to help fix the damage on the ship.
"Well, that was disappointing."Well, they are certainly staring at you with annoyance. Dunno what powers that will grant you. Possibly a voice like gilbert gottfried.
Sebastian licks his paw to calm his stress, and basks in the attention of his annoyed fellow travellers.
"Did I hear someone say they were famous?"
You use your WOOOO to power a series of tackles that bring down several trees."Did I hear someone say they were famous?"
"Woooo, yeah! Xan o'r there, he can shit fire out 'is arse! He's the most famous wizard in all of this hellscape! Wooooo! And I... I am Dave! Monstrous beast what can split a man in half!"
Woooo! Maybe help with repairs too, but mostly wooooo!
Leave these twits to it as I go back to the tents, looking for signs of sentient life.We'll say you join up with The Brain in a Glass ball, shall we? That will get you right into the action.
I've had you guys mostly staying still because people were doing things on the ground and wandering away. I mean, if you wanna just charge forward into a new area and leave people here, we can do that."Right, where are we now? John, have we reached the Scarred Tribes yet?"
- I wouldn't know, really, unless they came at us like the last ones.
We are trying to follow the dirtroads. For, like, third turn. Or have I missed some development?
Look around. Can I see any local edible uglies I can harass for bodyparts?No one close by...well, no one thats not part of the crew that is.
"Do we actually have any tools that could be used to cut down trees, and some building supplies? We need them if we're gonna repair the damage."
Go searching the warbeast for any tools and supplies that can be used to help patch up the ship.
Well, Sebastian requires attention to live. So the power they are granting is survival."Well, that was disappointing."Well, they are certainly staring at you with annoyance. Dunno what powers that will grant you. Possibly a voice like gilbert gottfried.
Sebastian licks his paw to calm his stress, and basks in the attention of his annoyed fellow travellers.
"Did I hear someone say they were famous?"
"Looka that, fellows! Only a mighty beast could briiing down a mighty oak! Or whatever the hell trees these are! Wooo!"
Continue to perform acts of biggitude.
"Oh right. Got too caught up in my wizardly powers."There look to be scattered villages on basically every large mesa. And yes, Hummy is talking to one guy but that one guy is standing in front of a bunch of dwellings. We haven't seen any other people, but there's smoke coming from the central holes of the tents and the place certainly looks inhabited.
Are there any actual villages or just that one random guy on a cliff that Hummy Hum's talking to? Because I totally got caught up in what I was doing and failed to realize what was happening.
Land behind our glassy representative. Excellent initiative on the part of our teammate! And to think it only took some reckless abandonment.The man looks carefully at you. You can feel his gaze skittering across your feathers like mites.
Bow while spreading wings.
"Greetings, good chap. I'm with this one," he inclines his head toward the sphere.
"I'm not much like a man, Tribesman."Names and flesh are the shackles of the earth." The man says, looking wistfully at the sky, "We have little, but are willing to trade. What is it you have and what is it you need?"
Me and a few others are on a journey through this land, and I'm looking to trade. I don't have any goods on my person, but I could retrieve some things from yonder beast that might interest you."
Talk.
"Oh! I haven't introduced myself yet, have I? My name is Yellow. Would you like for me to call you by a name?"
"Looka that, fellows! Only a mighty beast could briiing down a mighty oak! Or whatever the hell trees these are! Wooo!"You seem to have grown a few inches. At least you're pretty sure you have.
Continue to perform acts of biggitude.
Actions follow:Its hard to tell if anyone is really paying attention, but your belief in him and his own swelling self confidence seem to have made a difference.Well, Sebastian requires attention to live. So the power they are granting is survival."Well, that was disappointing."Well, they are certainly staring at you with annoyance. Dunno what powers that will grant you. Possibly a voice like gilbert gottfried.
Sebastian licks his paw to calm his stress, and basks in the attention of his annoyed fellow travellers.
"Did I hear someone say they were famous?""Looka that, fellows! Only a mighty beast could briiing down a mighty oak! Or whatever the hell trees these are! Wooo!"
Continue to perform acts of biggitude.
Assist [Toaster's Character] in drawing attention to his power by meowing and pointing. I tell everyone how mighty the little fella is. I do my best to focus everyone's attention on Toaster's strength.
"Do we actually have any tools that could be used to cut down trees, and some building supplies? We need them if we're gonna repair the damage."
Go searching the warbeast for any tools and supplies that can be used to help patch up the ship.
You find"Do we actually have any tools that could be used to cut down trees, and some building supplies? We need them if we're gonna repair the damage."
Go searching the warbeast for any tools and supplies that can be used to help patch up the ship.
assist.
Time to wander to where the first contact is taking place. Stare the man with unabashed curiosity.
Grab the axe, and head over to wherever it was that Dave was harassing trees. Begin hewing the downed trunks into usable pieces for repairing the warbeast."I help! I help!"
"Come, my Very Large Companion! We must show off your newfound might to others who will be sure to be impressed!"
Sebastian Encourages Dave to go find some natives to impress with his size and might. Sebastian looks about for locals (I am not sure if we on the warbeast are aware of the conversation going on on the mesa, or if we could get there from here). Upon locating some, He directs Dave, and the warbeast, that direction. More attention to Dave and myself. More!
"Could trade you food, water, alcohol, or weapons. We also have a few explosive rocks from a hell to the north of here, I believe.
As for what we're looking for, we could use some supplies to repair the platforms on our warbeast, maybe some mechanical parts to maintain our other vehicle, and I in particular am looking for a tape recorder of some sort."
Converse. Afterwards, politely excuse myself and return to the warbeast. Invite the man to come along, if he likes.
"Hrm. Xan, please navigate us toward the closest settlement. Or the one our glass orb is talking at."You have the warbeast walk over to the mesa. The mesa's top is just above the head of the beast, so it can lift you up one handful of idiots at a time if you so wish.
Have the warbeast move over to ... from what I understand, the villages are at the top of these mesas and the warbeast is at the bottom? Could we have the warbeast lift us up like with the Most High thing?
Grab the axe, and head over to wherever it was that Dave was harassing trees. Begin hewing the downed trunks into usable pieces for repairing the warbeast.You head over to where dave is drunkenly body slamming foliage and begin chopping the wood into usable pieces.
"Come, my Very Large Companion! We must show off your newfound might to others who will be sure to be impressed!"
Sebastian Encourages Dave to go find some natives to impress with his size and might. Sebastian looks about for locals (I am not sure if we on the warbeast are aware of the conversation going on on the mesa, or if we could get there from here). Upon locating some, He directs Dave, and the warbeast, that direction. More attention to Dave and myself. More!
You both wander over to the bottom of the mesa where the war beast is standing and begin menacing trees, shrubs and small boulders as best you can."Come, my Very Large Companion! We must show off your newfound might to others who will be sure to be impressed!"
Sebastian Encourages Dave to go find some natives to impress with his size and might. Sebastian looks about for locals (I am not sure if we on the warbeast are aware of the conversation going on on the mesa, or if we could get there from here). Upon locating some, He directs Dave, and the warbeast, that direction. More attention to Dave and myself. More!
"Awwww yeaaaah!"
Go find some locals to smash trees near. If there aren't any locals, smash trees anyway and generally swagger. Maybe actually help with the repairs if there is no other choice.
Seeing as there is only one ax, you help by carrying the wood back to the warbeast once it has been cut.Grab the axe, and head over to wherever it was that Dave was harassing trees. Begin hewing the downed trunks into usable pieces for repairing the warbeast."I help! I help!"
Follow the weird dog-man (mainly to put some distance between myself and those other psychos) and help out with gathering wood!
Climbing? Uhh, my one weakness. Or not.The War beast lifts you up to the mesa top where you just sit around and stare at the guy without saying anything. He says nothing back.
If warbeast is still close by, ask it to lift me up so I can stare and point things with my sharp stubby claws.
If it is not... Climb up. Then stare things eyes wide. Like totally obliviously rude little kid.
"Pleasing in a good way, I should hope?" Mr. Bird asks."Indeed. Featherless and wrinkled birds are most grotesque. It is something the birds here would do well to adopt." He nods his head before searching the sky, almost as though he were looking for a bird to admonish.
Inquire.
And if this fellow doesn't mind coming to the warbeast, assist him with getting there with handy navigation advice and maybe a bit of a lift if he needs to climb up.
Pick up the hammer and nails, and head over to Dave.You get to dave just in time to see him knock over a rock and then start screaming. Dinosaur screams are very odd.
Go up to the village with the supplies the warbeast is lifting up and make a wizardly first impression.(He means to do it without pants on.
I'm leaving it vague for your amusement.
I did mean as amusingly abrasive as piecewise desired, but fine, I'll change it to something more pedestrian.Go up to the village with the supplies the warbeast is lifting up and make a wizardly first impression.(He means to do it without pants on.
I'm leaving it vague for your amusement.
That's what wizardly means, right?)
I did mean as amusingly abrasive as piecewise desired, but fine, I'll change it to something more pedestrian.Go up to the village with the supplies the warbeast is lifting up and make a wizardly first impression.(He means to do it without pants on.
I'm leaving it vague for your amusement.
That's what wizardly means, right?)
((Mr. Bird isn't actually featherless or wrinkled, I feel the urge to note. Bearded vultures look like this (http://projectvulture.org.za/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Adult-Bearded-Vulture-Perched-Chris-Van-Rooyen-1038x576.jpg).
That is, unless he lost all his feathers somehow, though that would raise the question of how exactly he's flying.))
The remark gives Mr. Bird pause.
Let reality have a moment to sort itself out. Am I still a bearded vulture? And if so, does that affect his reaction in any way?
In any case, return to the warbeast.
Get the Engine Spirit to lift up a few boxes of food and water. Search the warbeast for anything that would fit the scarred man's request. Failing that, guestimate how many of our current 100 nails are absolutely needed for repairs, and how many we can trade away.You deposit a good amount of the group's food and water up on the mesa before searching around for small metal rods. Unsurprisingly, the nails are the only thing that really works. As per an estimate for usage, you would guess that completely repairing everything would use up 70+ nails. But just repairing the roof would only use 20 odd nails.
((Which horn? Front, right/left back? Must know for characterization purposes!))Fun fact, unlike the horns of rhinos or the tusks of elephants, dinosaur bones were actually bone protrusions so breaking one would feel like snapping a femur. I could find no info on if they grow back or not.
Pain was great for sobering up, as Dave had learned during his lifetime. He had caught the lash at least once for drunkenness on the ship. This really got his attention.
"Aaaahhhh FUCK that hurrrrts!"
"Dave! Dave! Dave! Dave! Dave!" Sebastian chants. "Yeeeeeee HAAAAA! Pain is gain, buddy. We're on the road to greatness now!"[2]
Sebastian attempts to convince Dave of the value of pain as an aid to growth, and believes really, really hard, that the broken horn will look 'cool.' he continues to point Dave in the direction of any audience we can locate.
Go up to the village with the supplies the warbeast is lifting up and make a suitably intimidating first impression.[5]
"You are really ugly!" Ryans states the fact in his charmingly innocent manner. "Do you have any hearts I can eat?""As are you, child of bladed fingers. " The man says, with a strange warmth and affection. "And no, I am afraid I do not."
Being abrasive child. Offer the arm in my quantum pockets in echange if need for such arises. Not including the watch.
Begin patching holes in the platform with the hammer and nails. Give Yoink the axe if he wants to chop/hew more wood.
Start helping the others with repairing the platform.You get the roof patched, using 18 nails.
"I am Xankarvo the Grand, a mighty wizard when I was alive, and greater still now that I am dead. I am the sole remaining holder of a pact made in the 88,888,888th hell - to find the First Heaven, and usurp the First God, so I may remake the afterlife as I see fit, and unravel the very secrets of creation. Do you and your tribe possess any resources that may aid us on this journey, or people that would wish to accompany us on this journey? Our path is a harsh one, but as I understand it your people value disfigurement, and I know ways to mutate the body that I can offer if you accompany me.""Yup."
Offer the dude's tribe minion status in exchange for mutation and stuff.
((Well, it is part of the skull. I'd guess it wouldn't heal the broken part, but would still grow from behind? Depends on if they grow by being pushed out, or all along. Either way, it probably would gain length, but never back to its original length? I dunno.((Well the ends of the horns had the substance similar to those of the shafts of feathers and horns like I said. Also depending on how young the trio is it may continue to grow, but instead of being pointed would instead have a mass of bone on the end. If they do regrow like teeth, the new one would form where the skull part of the horn reaches the surface and push out the old one like how teeth form in the gum.
Triceratops teeth do grow back, and in large numbers, according to what I saw. Since they grind plant material (and one would assume a lot of it) that makes sense.
Anyway.))
"Damn it all..."
Recover the broken piece. Slink back to the warbeast.
"Dave! Dave! Dave! Dave! Dave!" Sebastian chants. "Yeeeeeee HAAAAA! Pain is gain, buddy. We're on the road to greatness now!"[2]
Sebastian attempts to convince Dave of the value of pain as an aid to growth, and believes really, really hard, that the broken horn will look 'cool.' he continues to point Dave in the direction of any audience we can locate.
...What were you doing again?
This time lift up... 25 nails, a small assortment of weapons, and carefully bring our explosive rocks.Done.
Along with the food and water, this is the extent of what we're willing to trade. Let's see what they're offering in return.
"I am Xankarvo the Grand, a mighty wizard when I was alive, and greater still now that I am dead. I am the sole remaining holder of a pact made in the 88,888,888th hell - to find the First Heaven, and usurp the First God, so I may remake the afterlife as I see fit, and unravel the very secrets of creation. Do you and your tribe possess any resources that may aid us on this journey, or people that would wish to accompany us on this journey? Our path is a harsh one, but as I understand it your people value disfigurement, and I know ways to mutate the body that I can offer if you accompany me."The man seems very approving of your looks but he is skeptical of your power. He says that mutilation is a special thing, that the people do in very specific ways. He talks about "Balance" a great deal. And he speaks of the power of the voice of the people, and how it would no doubt surpass your power.
Offer the dude's tribe minion status in exchange for mutation and stuff.
Also don't forget I have a lobster arm, that's probably a thing the dude approves of too.
"Oh bummer." Ryans shoulder's drop a bit fore perking up again. "Do you know where I can find some? I guess I could settle on spare brains too.""There are some creatures around here. A river runs through the valley a short distance from here," He points to the southwest "where creatures live. If you wish for their flesh, you will find them there."
Pestering uglies for info.
Circle around the warbeast, watching for any thieves or murderers who might be approaching.No sign of anyone dangerous...besides your teammates. Not even others from other settlements on the mesas.
Chop down some more trees. Keep an eye out for tasty stuff or shiny things to be distracted by.[1]
Done"Dave! Dave! Dave! Dave! Dave!" Sebastian chants. "Yeeeeeee HAAAAA! Pain is gain, buddy. We're on the road to greatness now!"[2]
Sebastian attempts to convince Dave of the value of pain as an aid to growth, and believes really, really hard, that the broken horn will look 'cool.' he continues to point Dave in the direction of any audience we can locate.
...What were you doing again?
Apparently I was getting distracted and following the group up onto the mesa. So I follow the group up onto the mesa.
Scout about around the warbeast for small, cookable prey. Preferably small, cookable prey that isn't named Dave, that is.I'll assume you hear the talk from up above about good hunting grounds near a river valley to the southwest of here.
Search for food sources.Simillar to above. Water is source of all foods after all.
Might these totems be magical in nature? Might they be related to sound?Already got my robe and wizard hat
Look out for a snazzy hat to put on my skull. And find a big ol' wizard hat to stick on Xankarvo's dome.
((I seem to have forgotten that you already had a wizard hat. Still though, as our party's wizard, it's your responsibility to look as impressive as possible.))((Double wizard hat? Double wizard hat.))
Wander over to the mesa man and say the following:"Yeah, are they strong? Strong hearts are best hearts!" Details
"You said something about creatures. Why kind of creatures are we talking about?"
Wander over to the mesa man and say the following:"They are flesh born of the river bank mud and the sun of morning. Their flesh is new each day; I cannot tell you their guise as I have not looked upon it this day. But they are usually furry, and about so tall." He holds his hand up to about stomach height.
"You said something about creatures. Why kind of creatures are we talking about?"
Xankarvo briefly clenches his fists at the challenge to his power, a few sparks flying from his teeth as he clenches them, but he relaxes. He can awe them after he finds and steals what makes their power powerful."The voice is exactly as it sounds. We of the people may change the world with our speech if we all so will it. But we of the people rarely will it ourselves, this world is cruel as it should be, and we see little reason to change it.
"Tell me more about this 'voice of the people'. What is this balance you speak of?
Gain info about local magical customs.
Might these totems be magical in nature? Might they be related to sound?They might be but it's kinda hard to tell. They're little metal men in a variety of contracted and scrunched up positions. They're also covered in sharp edges and spiky protrusions that make it quite hard for people with fleshy hands to hold them safely. As per related to sound, probably not.
Look out for a snazzy hat to put on my skull. And find a more impressive hat to stick on Xankarvo's dome.
Also inquire as to if the Voice of the People can be carried.
"Voice of the people? I like the sound of that. I'll take it!"You grab one of the knives and listen as the man explains the voice of the people to the to the others.
Sebastian grabs a small brittle knife from the trade offering (he can manipulate things like those cats in internet videos do) and pokes through the rest for the thing called the voice of the people (pokes with his nose and whiskers, not with the knife)
"Some are. Some are not. If you seek a strong heart, find the one which is largest."Wander over to the mesa man and say the following:"Yeah, are they strong? Strong hearts are best hearts!" Details
"You said something about creatures. Why kind of creatures are we talking about?"
Fly over the other mesas. Do they all look freshly inhabited, or are some abandoned?Those that still have structures look, judging by the smoke from their homes and occasional people seen wandering around, inhabited.
Same mutilated tribesmen on the other mesas? Observe from above. Can I perceive similarities or differences in their self-mutilation?Yep, as far as you can see.
"Yay! Gotta go hunting!"You get a lift off the mesa and start off toward the river valley the guy told you about. It's a bit of a walk, should take you an hour or two to reach it.
Hunting for strong heart! Not like that one Tinman, no. Totally more violent way.
Ask if The Voice Of The People could grant me sight.
Sebastian says this to the people.
"Ooooh .. that voice you guys have sounds nifty. Can we get an example of it? For instance, my friend the dinosaur over there, the one with the broken horn. Can you make him bigger? And mighty! And shiny! Hey, what kind of scar would be good for balancing that broken horn? Maybe we could hit him with a big hammer?"
"I find this intriguing. What then qualifies someone as one of the people? Does it include only the members of your tribe, or everyone? And what have been some of the things you have done with it in the past?""We are who use it, so it is our voice. Perhaps anyone could. We have faced siege by the forces of many. Even the would be king of all hells. But we have never fallen. The voice sees to that."
"Your description of the voice intrigues me. I would learn it from your people, if I could.""Me too! Here, let me try!"
Magic pls
Continuing foolishly alone towards hunting grounds.
Observe from a distance.
Continuing foolishly alone towards hunting grounds.
"Your description of the voice intrigues me. I would learn it from your people, if I could."
Magic pls
"You could not learn it. Or rather a man alone could not use it. The voice of the people requires the effort of many.""Your description of the voice intrigues me. I would learn it from your people, if I could.""Me too! Here, let me try!"
Magic pls
Sebastian Yowls in an attempt to summon the power of the voice, to bring down a lightning bolt nearby but not directly where anyone is.
Dave pokes around to see if there's anything he can use to tape his horn back on. Failing that, maybe a cool necklace for it?We have some glue...though it is wood glue. It might work. But you have no hands or thumbs or any way of effectively positioning the horn to put it back on.
Continuing foolishly alone towards hunting grounds.
Continuing foolishly alone towards hunting grounds.
Observe from about twenty paces behind. Following.
Bring the axe. Keep an eye out for tasty things and/or threats.
Observe from a distance.
Observe from above.
Well the little death claw heads off, with a band of people trailing behind him (or above him). We'll assume he reaches the valley in this turn because eh why not. The valley is a small canyon with a fast moving, narrow river at the bottom. It's an oasis in this dry and hatefully warm place, with a thin line of dense vegetation growing up all around it. The canyon is all of 50 or so feet wide, with 20 of that taken up by the river, and the rest being split between the banks on either side. The river is brown with sediment and full of rapids, filling the entire canyon with the roar of turbulent water. What look like palm trees and ferns and all manner of jungle plants cling tight to the bank, struggling to maintain their grip on the tiny patch of fertile soil available to them. Among those trees and plants you immediately catch sight of something that looks like a wild boar. It's easily 6 foot at the shoulder and covered in dense prickly brown fur. Even from up here on the crest of the canyon you can see the gleaming ivory tusks jutting out of its lower jaw.Continuing foolishly alone towards hunting grounds.
Observe from a distance.
Help Dave glue his horn back on.
"Would you be willing at least to describe the method by which your people use the voice? Is there some ritual you conduct beforehand, or a ceremony you must go through?"He describes a ritual involving drums and chanting that uses the entire nation of his people. From what you can tell, it seems to be a method of focusing faith.
Try to mentally fit his explanation with what I've learned from the book if I can.
Help Dave glue his horn back on.
Accept help.
Help Dave glue his horn back on.[3]
Sebastian grows bored and licks his shoulder. He then wanders around randomly rubbing against people's legs, hoping for attention.[3]
Distantly follow behind whoever's going to the hunting grounds.That would be the soon to be corpse spoken of below...
"Ooh, that looks strong!"1.8 meters tall, to be precise.Favourite deathclaw attack is to charge and slash and stab and dodge just before opponent attacks. So let's do that.Wait, 6 feet tall? Isn't that like almost two meters?
Edit: Of well, lets do it anyways. Favourite deathclaw attack is to charge and slash and stab and dodge just before opponent attacks. So let's do that.
Help fish the deathclaw out of the stream! It may be questionably useful, but such eagerness should be rewarded always.[1]
Pounce on the boar, and bite its neck.Here's something interesting; did you know hyenas, despite being hunters as well as scavengers, aren't as good at taking down prey as big cats? They lack the jaws and teeth needed to do what the big cats do, their jaws are more powerful but the teeth are designed for crushing bone and tearing flesh, not stabbing in deep. Hyenas actually hunt in a rather gruesome method of running along with their prey and tearing pieces of it off until it collapses and then they tear it apart.
Trash wildy trying to get hold on something. With stabby fingers.[5]
"Interesting. How did the voice first come to be?""Songs speak of the first of our tribe, Most-Beautiful. He sang with the voice of the people, but was all alone. So he pulled his many voices from his throat and buried them in the clay of the river. And from this came our people. When now we sing together, we speak with the voice of Most-Beautiful.
Anthropology!
I think this is anthropology, the word says to my brain that anthropology is what I'm doing here.
Imagine that I have Faith Points, then expend one to make Dave's horn stick on.[4] You get his horn stuck on.
Hyenas actually hunt in a rather gruesome method of running along with their prey and tearing pieces of it off until it collapses and then they tear it apart.
I climb up onto the main scarred speaker's shoulder and ask, right into his ear:
"So, what kind of effects does your People's Voice achieve? Fireworks? Lightning strikes? Loud noises?"
Well there's a fine situation.[6]
Hm. Doggy-paddling appears to work. Try that myself!
[3] You chew on the boar, filling your mouth with it's warm blood. It doesn't react except to continue running.Hyenas actually hunt in a rather gruesome method of running along with their prey and tearing pieces of it off until it collapses and then they tear it apart.
Huh. I did not know that. Begin doing that, then.
"Ah, you are the spawn of one who came from life. I see."He exists, yes. If you follow the river to its source, you will find him. Our people make this pilgrimage once in a lifetime. To have our scars blessed. "
I know of this principle. Things seem to twist to fit the opinion of the majority here.
Is this Most-Beautiful still existent?"
Attempt this action:"When last we used it for dire reasons, it let one man beat thousands. Though he did not survive."I climb up onto the main scarred speaker's shoulder and ask, right into his ear:
"So, what kind of effects does your People's Voice achieve? Fireworks? Lightning strikes? Loud noises?"
Rush after the others and attempt to save Mr. Bird!You get to the bank and help Mr.bird pull himself up and away from the water. He's muttering something about plumage.
Assess how far from the riverbank he is. Try and avoid the enraged boar. Hang onto the axe.
"When last we used it for dire reasons, it let one man beat thousands. Though he did not survive.""Neat. sounds like the source of epic tales told for generations, spread across many tribes, growing in the telling, until all will hear it, repeat it, make it their own, and strive to emulate it, even in ritual and play. Could you make me appear ten feet tall, purple, and shiny, with rainbows pouring out of my eyes, and the voice of a thousand birds tweeting in chorus? Because theat would be fun!"
((Yeah, I'm not sure we should seek the guy out. Wouldn't want to lose half our party to a god again.))[1]
I've got one thing your average hyena hasn't: big, opposable thumbs. I think some eye-gougin's in order.
"The river..."The man points you in the right direction.
Look around for a river. I'm guessing it's close by?
Make like a cormorant and dry myself.You stretch out your wings and wait for them to dry.
Help dry the people on the shore.[4] You pat the bird down with your clothes.
Stuff Mr. Bird snugly into my armpit for safekeeping, not to mention getting him warm and dry.Mr.bird is far larger than you seem to assume.
"Don't you worry Mistah Bird, I keep you safe from wet stuff."Spoiler: OOC (click to show/hide)
Death by thousand cuts. This is fun![4] You get a few good cuts in, spilling a lot of blood. The boar won't last long like this, but it keeps running.
((Ooops))You admire the horn and strut about like a peacock. A very scalely peacock.
"Thanks, matey! It'll do."
Admire self. Strut, even.
The man tilts his head slightly."When last we used it for dire reasons, it let one man beat thousands. Though he did not survive.""Neat. sounds like the source of epic tales told for generations, spread across many tribes, growing in the telling, until all will hear it, repeat it, make it their own, and strive to emulate it, even in ritual and play. Could you make me appear ten feet tall, purple, and shiny, with rainbows pouring out of my eyes, and the voice of a thousand birds tweeting in chorus? Because theat would be fun!"
Sebastian attempts to convince the People to use their Voice for the above purpose.
A floating glass orb with a skull glued on telekinetically prods Xankarvo."How many more iron rods do you have?" is his reply.
"So, you thinking we should go meet this Most-Beautiful? Should be interesting to talk to, at least.
Looks like most of our people headed over to the river already, we could go pick them up."
See how much trademan wants in exchange for a token of The Voice Of The People.
Continue discussing using the Voice to make me look purple, giant, shiny, and rainbow vomiting. If the others leave for the river or wherever, go along.The man shakes his head. "Maybe if you trade for it. But such things are not permanent."
"Of course! It's not dire, like in your story, so I won't die. It'd be fun. Your people like fun, right? We could have a party, with snacks and music.your Voice will make me the laser light show. It's win-win!"
Ain't nothing in this world like watching feathers dry.You're pretty well dry now, thanks to that guy drying you with his shirt.
"Let's."You take the warbeast over to the edge of the river canyon.
Back to warbeast and go in direction dude pointed me in!
I hear you shouldn't skin bear before killing it, but I'm not one to listen good advice. Carve chuncks of meat off of the boar and enjoy case of "eat and run". Or "run and eat".[5]
Draw my rifle, and shoot the pig.Gonna save you some ammo there, buddy boy.
Ponder the size of my armpits. Hang onto the axe.[4]
If the critter everyone is trying to kill actually dies, try and help with chopping it up, I guess.
"Hey! My its kill!"[3]
Cute deathclaw roar go! Locate heart and brain, rise them high so everyone around can see them and devour both with gusto.
See if I can rip a femur out of the boar. Drop it from on high and gobble it up. Fresh marrow is an uncommon treat!You grab a few bones and drop them from a good height, smashing them open on some nearby rocks. This boar was of uncommon size and his bones are pleasantly large as well, and filled with delicious marrow. You eat your fill of the stuff, tearing it out with beak and talons. You make a mental note to buy a small spoon at some point, as it would make things much easier.
Or, if that doesn't work, have Hairy Dave chop a bone in half for me before gobbling it up.
((I just realized we have a Hairy Dave and a Dinosaur Dave in the gang.))
Nab the beast's skin. Tote it and a slab of meat back to the warbeast.You grab the pelt of the beast and fold it neatly before hefting a slab of meat over your shoulder and heading back to the war beast. Which, luckily, is right here thanks to Xan.
((Dino Dave!))There's a lot of local foliage, and a large variety in it. After sampling several plants you decide that the best one is a purplish fern. It tastes vaguely sweet and is easy to chew.
Time for a snack, then. Go browse the local foliage.
((Who is where? I have a feeling our party is split into at least three places right now. Is it just Egan and I up on the plateau with the scarred people?))I think it's two places, 1 group with the scarred man, and another with the war beast over by the river.
Say: "I know it's not permanent, you said as much. I only wanted to put on a show. What, having a party isn't a good enough trade? You guys sing me big, I make with the entertainment, you guys dance and laugh. A good time is had by all."
If that fails to achieve, Sebastian will attempt to rejoin the party: "Hey guys! Don't leave without me!"
Gather some food from the boar?You help everyone pile boar meat onto the warbeast.
Xankarvo's guiding intelligence (me) will be going on a trip to Internet-less areas for the next 10 days or so. During this time, Xankarvo will mainly stay at the helm of the warbeast, waiting for his meat shields to show up so he can go visit the Most-Beautiful. I'll see if I can post at all in the interim, but probably not.Done.
"Grub's up!"You help store boar meat on the warbeast. You imagine that, unless this place is filled with some very hungry predators, that this meat isn't gonna get eaten in the next few days. Salting it might not be a bad idea, if you can find any.
Happily distribute dead boar-bits to any of my new friends who want some!
Wish I had some sort of cheesy "kiss the cook" apron to wear.
Determine which part of the dead thing would be tastiest to one such as I, and eat my fill of it.
Then stuff some in the pockets of my vest for later.
Nom up my fill, since it appears to be dinner time. Maybe gather some more to take with.
"I'm bored" Let's go someplace full of people. A city!"No. We are going to meet Most Beautiful.
Sebastian eats, and rides the War Beast until we leave for places more interesting to him. He tries to encourage the team / the motive force directing the warbeast to lumber off toward a populated area.
HEY YOU BASTARD YOU SKIPPED ME I WANT MY MONEY BACKYou wanna buy the voice of the people? Alright.
Nom up my fill, since it appears to be dinner time. Maybe gather some more to take with.You eat yourself full and then gather up as much as you can hold in your mouth and walk back to the warbeast. You make a couple of trips like this.
Get on board the warbeast.
Xankarvo wakes up from his daydreams of eternal dominion over all of existence.
"Everyone, get back here, we're going to visit this Most-Beautiful thing."
Collect erstwhile bumbling meatshields! The trip must commence!
((Ossifrages don't suck out the marrow, they eat the entire bone. They can digest the whole thing, you see, it's just that breaking them into smaller pieces makes it much easier to swallow them.))
Lovely bones. Resume position as figurehead on the warbeast as I let it all digest.
"Hey, guys! Which part of this mess is actually heart?"Everyone, including a bunch of hitchhiking boar guts, get back on the war beast.
Get help for locating the heart. Probably get back on the warbeast too, after ensuring that all juicy meat parts are loaded in.
"I'm bored" Let's go someplace full of people. A city!"[6]
Sebastian eats, and rides the War Beast until we leave for places more interesting to him. He tries to encourage the team / the motive force directing the warbeast to lumber off toward a populated area.
You slap Sebastian out of the driver seat and tell the Engine spirit to head up the river. The warbeast changes course and begins to follow the canyon upriver, stomping along beside it."I'm bored" Let's go someplace full of people. A city!"No. We are going to meet Most Beautiful.
Sebastian eats, and rides the War Beast until we leave for places more interesting to him. He tries to encourage the team / the motive force directing the warbeast to lumber off toward a populated area.
Yellow approches Xankarvo, waggling a shell in the air."You possess surprisingly good sense. My thanks."
"Heya Xannie. This shell is The Voice Of The People. All you gotta do is write a message and stick it in there, and then smash the thing. Oh, and don't forget to write your name on it.
I'm concerned that several member of our party would try to use it themselves, for petty and slash or foolish reasons. That's why I'm entrusting you, the resident wizard, with this power."
"Oh, and you'll probably need some paper, too."
Give The Voice Of The People to Xankarvo for safe keeping. And also tear a few sheets from my notebook and give him those, as well.
((you put your action inside the quote, Xan))
MY MAGIC BACKFIRES ON ME YET AGAIN
Watch the plants and see if any make any particularly tasty maneuvers.Well...they are gently waving in the breeze in a rather enticing manner. I dunno, are you the kind of dinosaur who would say those plants are asking for it? Asking to be eaten? Maybe. I mean, look how they're dressed! Stamens all exposed! Scandalous!
I want the boar heart! Where is it?!You dig through the guts and hold up one part after another until someone confirms that the bit of innards you're holding is in fact the heart. You clap you gore soaked claws in glee.
Drape the boar pelt across my shoulders. If we're going down to the oasis, join the party.You drape the still bloody pelt across your shoulders and stand on the leading end of the deck, doing your best heroic pose.
((Someone might want to grab John's gun, since he's inactive.))
((you put your action inside the quote, Xan))The birds appear to just be birds. No doubt here because of how green and lively this part is compared to the rest of the desert around it.
Sebastian watches the birdies, learning all he can about them. then he examines the mound and divines its secrets.
Edit: stupid rogue apostrophe. it's its when I want possessive. It's it's when I want an action.
Yellow approches Xankarvo, waggling a shell in the air.You give the stuff to Xan. Hopefully he won't use it for natural male enhancement.
"Heya Xannie. This shell is The Voice Of The People. All you gotta do is write a message and stick it in there, and then smash the thing. Oh, and don't forget to write your name on it.
I'm concerned that several member of our party would try to use it themselves, for petty and slash or foolish reasons. That's why I'm entrusting you, the resident wizard, with this power."
"Oh, and you'll probably need some paper, too."
Give The Voice Of The People to Xankarvo for safe keeping. And also tear a few sheets from my notebook and give him those, as well.
You and a few others head down to the oasis and start walking around it, looking for a way in. The thing is a cage of trees, with only a few inches between any of their trunks. In order to get in you're either gonna have to climb up and switch sides before climbing back down or cut one of these trees down. That or send a very small and skinny person in there.Yellow approches Xankarvo, waggling a shell in the air."You possess surprisingly good sense. My thanks."
"Heya Xannie. This shell is The Voice Of The People. All you gotta do is write a message and stick it in there, and then smash the thing. Oh, and don't forget to write your name on it.
I'm concerned that several member of our party would try to use it themselves, for petty and slash or foolish reasons. That's why I'm entrusting you, the resident wizard, with this power."
"Oh, and you'll probably need some paper, too."
Give The Voice Of The People to Xankarvo for safe keeping. And also tear a few sheets from my notebook and give him those, as well.
"Engine Spirit Xan, maneuver the warbeast closer to the oasis and lower us down. Please maintain a position that would hasten our return to this platform should we need to retreat. Time to talk to another lifeborn."
Store the VOTP shell safely in my robes/tracksuit and head down to the oasis. Rest of the party coming with, hopefully.
"Hold up, you. No pissing off the lifeborn god."Hairy Dave pauses mid-swing, looking bewildered and somewhat fearful.
"Hmm. I do not fancy going in there without an escape route, and cutting down one of those trees is going to likely anger the being I'd like to talk with. One of you go knock on the door, so to speak."
Suggest someone go knock on one of the tree trunks like a door and announce our presence. Maybe the trees will unfold or something.
"Somehow I doubt this is gonna work."You knock on the trees. They do nothing that you wouldn't expect knocked upon trees to do. They just kind of make a thunking noise and then stand perfectly still.
Knock on one of the trunks, per Xan's suggestion.
Nom nom the heart. Hope there's something with organic heart to hunt. Because little Ryan is now playing The Mighty Hunter game.You eat the heart as quickly and messily as possible. You then dart around, making roaring noises and stalking things that don't exist.
Hey, guys! Guys? Hey guys? Guys! I got some news about the birds! The ones around the oasis down there? Whel, they look like they're here fro a reason. Like you know how this place is all green and stuff? and how the rest of the area is not particularly green? Like an Oasis or something? ell, it looks like the birds might like greenery and I don't know ... water, maybe?I know that sound. Silly cats, they ain't birds.
Also, I'm small and skinny, and climb trees real good. I say this for no particular reason. But anyway, about the birds? What, no, they're just birds. Come on, what did you think? that they were some kind of sapient talking birds? That'd be silly. Silly! But they do seem to like this place for some reason. I bet it's because they're thirsty. Maybe even hungry. I bet they're hungry.
Sebastian says the above, then licks his paw, washes his ear, and makes that little chirrup sound cats make when they see birds they can't quite reach.
Nibble on a bit of vegetation while waiting for something cool to happen.The vegetation here tastes quite good. Very juicy. Kind of has a strange aftertaste though.
I'm with Xan. Fly up and take a peek over the trees, see what's beyond.
If [Yoink] tries to chop into the oasis, try to snatch the axe out of their hands.
Fly up to hang out with the birds up top. Maybe I can see down into the oasis?
"Huh. Whaddya say bird. Want to go check that out?"
"Huh. Whaddya say bird. Want to go check that out?"Carefullyapproach theobvious trap.
You circle in closer until you can make out a human form sitting in the pool. It looks like a normal human, about the right size for it, but its skin looks strangely patterned from here. Burn scars maybe? Or some sort of ritual brands? In either case he's sitting in the middle of the pool with his head bowed as though asleep. Nothing about the pool, the man or the small clearing he's in seems inherently hostile; there are fish swimming in the pool and small creatures walking around its edge."Huh. Whaddya say bird. Want to go check that out?"
"Why not? No doubt whoever's in there would appreciate some lovely company."
Circle progressively closer until I can make out more of the oasis.
Idly search between the warbeast's toes for tasty treats.You find the upper half of a demi-human stuck onto the big toe of the war beast's left foot. No doubt a remnant of the fight with the god eaters that you heard about. It's a bit ripe, but you should probably be able to handle it.
Drink some water from river. Stalk teammates. That dino thing for example, especially if it manages to get into forest.You drink some river water. It tastes...hmm A little odd? Hard to say what it tastes of but it's kind of sweet.
"I'll see if I can squeeze through. Not seeing much at the ship, aye?"You, being a rather rolly polly dino cannot squeeze through the 3 inch gap between the trees. Not even with a few good headbutts. You gnaw on one of the trees, trying to beaver your way in, but it quickly becomes evident that this won't work either. At least not without a few weeks to waste.
See if I can dino make my dino way though the not-dino trees. Don't resort to knocking trees down.
"Uh... No thanks. All yours, buddy."Look briefly dejected about this refusal.
Fish? Imma go in and touch the fishy.Sure. Just as soon as you learn to fly or phase through solid matter.
"... Hello? You are Most Beautiful, yes?""A name my children gave me." The man says. Or thinks? The reply seems to come from all around you, and from nowhere in particular.
Speak softly to the human. If that doesn't work, give him a little tk prod.
"Oh well. I tried."You feel pretty full actually. Already ate a good amount from before.
Resort to browsing the greenery. Om nom nom.
Hmm, see if I can climb trees and proceed in from higher up. Should be easier to fit between trees up where trunks are thinner are more flexible.[2]
Return to warbeast.You return and let everyone know what you saw. You only then notice that the floating brain ball didn't come with you.
"Well, there certainly is a fellow in there! Patterned, meditating or some such, I'd say that's the lad you'd be looking for then."
Then brighten up as Mister Bird returns, and offer him the dead stuff instead! He likes that kind of thing, right?!
Gather low-hanging branches and deadwood, and build a small fire near-ish to the warbeast. Begin cooking slabs of boar meat above said fire.
"Is there any name you would prefer for me to call you by? Or no name at all?"Names are funny things, aren't they? Am I that name? Is that name me? It's not the one I was born with. It's not what they called me in His army. But it has such weight, in spite of that. Without me, it is nothing and without it, I am nothing. Nothing plus nothing equals god."
I came here with a group of other lifeborn, wandering the hells. We came here to talk to you, but most of us can't get past the trees. Is there any chance you could make a path for them?"
Talky
You nibble the bones. You're still pretty full from the last meal.Then brighten up as Mister Bird returns, and offer him the dead stuff instead! He likes that kind of thing, right?!
"For me? Thank you kindly, good sir!"
Never a bad time to eat bones.
If monkey mode doesn't work then let's try if lumberjack does better. Scratch trees until they fall.You take a hard swing at the tree and manage to get your claws deeply embedded in it.
Gather low-hanging branches and deadwood, and build a small fire near-ish to the warbeast. Begin cooking slabs of boar meat above said fire.[4]
(at least, try to) Help with tending the fire.[3]
"I grew up on the streets of Detroit. "How'm I supposed to know how to make a fire?"
[1]Gather low-hanging branches and deadwood, and build a small fire near-ish to the warbeast. Begin cooking slabs of boar meat above said fire.
Help with this. Don't eat meat, of course.
cat sized cat can't fit through trees spaced several inches apart? Warbeast sized warbeast can't place cat above twenty feet of treeline? Cat clawed cat can't climb trees? Or did I miss the fact that there was a wall of some type between us and the pool of enticing lunchables?You can try those things but ya gotta say what you wanna do. You gotta do the action to get there, not just tell me what you want to do once you get there.
"Very well. I will return."You get back to the rest of the group and convey both a description of what you saw and what the guy said.
Get back to where everyone's hanging out and yell at them to follow the streams.
Continue to poke at the fire.You jab the fire like a 16 year old jabs his prom date.
"I'm stuck! Trees captured me! Help!"[3]
Unstuck myself from these dirty trees.
"Burn them!"
"Ah, the joy of an abundance of bones. I knew there was a reason to follow rogues about."[1]
Help Deathclaw Junior unstick his claws, as lovable as the scamp is when he gets into trouble.
Hopefully receive news of following streams. If I do, look about for any streams I might be able to follow. He means diving, doesn't he?Diving in a stream that is about 6 inches deep and less than a foot wide would prove difficult. You could walk up it, fording it like a giant, but that doesn't seem like it would work? At least not logically, the stream just oozes from a crack between the trees. Then again, maybe this is some sort of magicy thing.
Sebastian excamines the trees very carefully, attempting to discern if thereis anything dangerous or notable about them, besides their existence and woodiness. I.e Do they possess sentience? Sapience? Bloodthirst? Poison? vines that eat cats? some sort of divine radiance?[2]
"You're welcome! Oh, hey, the streams? Okay!"You plop down into the stream and start waddling up towards the trees. Just as you feel like you're about to hit the wall of trunks, things seem to distort very subtly. The area around the trees and stream seems to fisheye, distorting to form a tunnel through. But it's not the trees that are changing. Or you. Everything is staying the same...but somehow you're moving through. It's a very odd sensation, like sticking your head through a keyhole.
Follow the streams.
Flap wings! Place talons on tree! Free my beak!You are free
Nibble at some tree-bits. What do the trees taste like?You wrap your lips around the tree and dig your teeth into the bark. You strain your jaw and drag your teeth across the bark in a manner that makes everyone who sees it cringe. You pull away a mouthful of bark and lip splinters and proceed to chew the former carefully, considering the taste. It tastes like wood. IT tastes like dry, crumbly bark. And blood. A fair amount of blood.
Temporal anomalies happen to us all, Great One.Dave appears to be...He's walking into the trees and he's passing through a space about 2 or 3 inches wide. But He isn't changing shape or size. Just looking at it happen is very disorienting, like watching a full size elephant step through the eye of a needle. It makes you immediately feel like the perspective is off, like it's some sort of trick of distances. You look away and rub your eyes.
Can I see anything unusual happening to Dave?
In any case, shrug and walk up the stream toward the tree dome.
Try to follow the streams.
Hardly the strangest thing seen down here. Onward!You both follow the stream, trying not to get overwhelmed by the very odd sensation inherent in doing so. It makes your eyes itch, and you don't want to look at anything around you too closely; as soon as your gaze hangs on something for a few moments your feel a pressure on your forehead that builds until you look away.
My goddamn claws demand freedom from oppression of trees!It is done!
"Burn the trees! They are oppressing my right to shred them into toothpicks!"
Head back to the lifeborn.Gonna assume you mean the guy in the pond. You fly back over and he's in the same place as he was before, but now two of your earstwhile companions are in the clearing with him. They look to be about 10 feet from the pool but are just sort of standing there.
Rebuild fire, cook meat. Wonder idly whether I'm strong enough to strangle a miniature dinosaur.Meat is cooked.
((I though I submitted a post last turn... it basically amounted to "lose my shit in Dave's general direction," though, so it's okay.))
Go climb a tree.
Burn trees. We have a campfire here nearby, don't we?
Burn trees. We have a campfire here nearby, don't we?Follow my angry little claw-buddy. Cheerfully admire the scenery and relax.
Dave thought he heard something, but just shook his head and started walking toward the center.
Approach the middle. See what's up.
Continue to walk.You do hear something, and in fact you see that glass orb fellow. But he's very far away and talking very quietly. Kinda rude really. Oh well.
You place your hand on a tree and then stop, again. You have a strange and distinct feeling that something strange is happening to you. Like Deja Vu crossed with depersonalization. You feel distinct from your body, and you watch events through your eyes like a tv rerun for a show you only half remember. Something far, far away pulls at your mind. Or perhaps...pulls itself towards you?Go climb a tree.
Burn trees. We have a campfire here nearby, don't we?Follow my angry little claw-buddy. Cheerfully admire the scenery and relax.
Burn trees. We have a campfire here nearby, don't we?
The little deathclaw and his tag along walk over to Hyenakle's fire and yank a still burning stick out. They're turning around, heading back towards the woods when Hyenankles picks them both up and tosses them into the nearest stream. He returns to the fire and settles down as they sputter about in the water.Burn trees. We have a campfire here nearby, don't we?
Put out the fire as soon as I realize he's doing this.
Head into the stream. Try forcing myself to adapt to the odd spatial geometry by pure self-confidence while doing so.You stride confidently into the strange distortion of space and attempt to stare directly at it, forcing your mind to accept it. You stop once the nose bleed begins. That done, you walk through and emerge in the field, clutching your head.
"Because I wanted to burn these evil trees and that hyenaman tossed us into the river! I don't know why he wants to protect the Forest of Evil, but I will not be stopped!"
Punch hyeanaman into snout for being an idiot and protecting that clearly evil forest. Then burn it again. The forest I mean, not Hyenakles.
I let go of the tree and run over to the campfire buddies, yowlingYou run over to Hyenankles and yell about the trees biting you. Or at least...you think you do. He looks at you in a very strange way; as though you're spouting complete nonsense.
It bit me! The tree bit me! It tried to eat my soul. I don't wanna be depersonalized! I just wanted to climb a little, but it bit me! The trees have eyes!
...
Why are you guys all wet?
"Jesus crab, how long can it take you guys to walk 10 feet?! I mean, I'm not in a hurry or anything, but seriously.""Gods become gods because people believe that they are gods." he says, still looking at your two friends.
"... So, uh, pool guy. How did you become so godlike?"
Asking the big questions, oh yeah.
Try not to drown. I'm gonna drown, aren't I?! Try not to panic. Don't panic. DON'T PANIC.[5]
"Because I wanted to burn these evil trees and that hyenaman tossed us into the river! I don't know why he wants to protect the Forest of Evil, but I will not be stopped!"
Punch hyeanaman into snout for being an idiot and protecting that clearly evil forest. Then burn it again. The forest I mean, not Hyenakles.
Counter.
"Because I wanted to burn these evil trees and that hyenaman tossed us into the river! I don't know why he wants to protect the Forest of Evil, but I will not be stopped!"The fight is preempted when one of your crew members comes over, yelling about something. He's gesturing at his hand and back at the trees, but what comes out of his mouth is "All glory to the infinite empire, all glory to the Conquering King" over and over again.
Punch hyeanaman into snout for being an idiot and protecting that clearly evil forest. Then burn it again. The forest I mean, not Hyenakles.
"Gah spatial anomalies fukkin inflexible mind anyway let's assess surroundings oh there he is."He doesn't say yes, he just kind of stares at you with a mildly amused expression, so you start anyways.
Xankarvo walks over to the Most Beautiful.
"Greetings, Most Beautiful, if that is indeed a title of yours. My name is Xankarvo, and I would like to ask you some questions."
If he says yes, Xan continues. "I admit, I have many, but firstly, how did you construct this place? Was it through abilities you gained through the faith cycle?"
Questions n shiz
Xankarvo chuckles.
"This is tr..."
He trails off as he hears what the cat's saying.
"...Most-Beautiful, do you wish to live? I believe someone currently beyond our ability to survive is coming near judging by the cat. Or the forces of his empire - either way, I think it would be best if we were to leave soon. From all I know about him, the Conquering King is not overly receptive to other divinities remaining unshackled in territory he claims as his own."
Make my party members aware of the need to probably get the fuck out posthaste. Tell the deathclaw to shut up about the trees and get the cat to be quiet.
Recall how the Voice of the People was supposed to be used; I believe we might need to use it soon.
"When someone asks if you're a god, you say YES?!""You become in these hells what people believe you to be. The larger number of people, the bigger the change. If you want to be a god, you make a story and spread it. Just be prepared for it to spiral out of your hands."
((What about my post?))((Clearly pw missed it. Remember to add big bolded this is question for NPC note to your post.))
Flap wings and suddenly regain consciousness.Current situation? Well, one of your teammates is shouting nonsense while several more talk to a god. Oh and the Hyena man is cooking foot while the deathclaw and his tag along seem hell bent on burning down the forest. You resist the urge to mutter something about murderhobos because, fitting as it is, you realize that expecting anything but murder out of a beast called a "Deathclaw" is probably folly.
Ponder current situation as I circle above the Most-Beautiful's crib.
"See? This forest is clearly evil! It has taken over his mind!"
The forest will burn. Like seriously!
"Oh, shut up." Hyenakles growls.
Smack Sebastian upside the head with the butt of my rifle. Then, run like hell back to the warbeast.
Can I hear and understand what my compatriots are saying? Specifically that part about my mind being taken over?[6][5]
If so, Resist! Yell, scream, Yowl, bite my tail, run back and forth, and then lick my paw to soothe my frazzled nerves.
If not, then blather on about how awful the trees here are, and about how getting wet is bad, and about howThe things in the deep are rising up to consume our souls.
"See? This forest is clearly evil! It has taken over his mind!"[2]
The forest will burn. Like seriously!
Take advantage of my advantageous position and inspect the water. Any aquatic wildlife to be seen in there?There are some lovely looking silvery scaled fish swimming around in the pool the god is sitting in. They swim near him but seem to avoid touching him.
"When someone asks if you're a god, you say YES?!"You hear some muted yelling that sharply cuts off. When you look...well sonar back in that direction you see hyenankles running away.
I'm closer to the edge of this place than the other people at the center, and I have good hearing. Can I hear sebastian's blather?
Xankarvo nods in contemplation.
"Yes, I've experienced the effects to an extent myself, and what you've said corrobates with what I've read. How did you create your ... children? I know of their utilization of their belief - they call it the Voice of the People, and it apparently wields great power through the force of concentrated belief. An interesting example of ritual effectively utilized.""When someone asks if you're a god, you say YES?!""You become in these hells what people believe you to be. The larger number of people, the bigger the change. If you want to be a god, you make a story and spread it. Just be prepared for it to spiral out of your hands."
Of course, there may be ways around that, but that's not something I'm telling anyone.
Questioning! Specifically, how'd he make those scarred guys?
Eyes to the horizon! Anything wicked coming this way?On the distant horizon there is a slight glow, like the glow of a sunset, but concentrated into a smaller area.
"Hmm. Something's going on back at the beast. Let me go check that out."[3]
Fly back to the hyena and attempt to extract from it the current situation.
Hang tight! Ears back, all my pointy bits (claws, teeth) dig into that rifle. I don't want to be the vessel of a dark god, consumed by its unending hunger for expansion, dominance, and corruption.[4]
Also, I'll try to let go and not get smashed if Hyenakles tries to smash me into something, or to break my teeth with the rifle.
Also, I am stil not sure how aware I am of what's happening, so I'll just shut "The big dogman has become a tree! They are coming for your souls! Resist, resist!"
I know that is slightly contradictory, but that's Sebastian's current state of mind, provided he has a mind left at all.
Attempt to shake off the cat as I run. If my possessed friend hasn't fallen off or calmed down by the time I've made it to the warbeast, discharge and jettison the rifle towards the ground as I climb.You run to the warbeast, all while swinging your rifle around like a madman.
Ryan walks dejectedly back to the warbeast, getting himself lifted up. He scans around looking for something to hunt. Or something he can use to burn the forest down without being stopped.You get back on top of the war beast, muttering about ruined chances for pyromantic bliss.
"The usual - oh."
Xankarvo glances around, noticing things starting to happen.
"It appears time may be growing short. I don't know if danger approaches or what have you, so I'll ask one last question: do you know where the First Heaven is?"
Xankarvo's face is deliberately set in a steady expression.
Ask. If he doesn't know, tell him what the First Heaven is. Spread the story. That's what's ultimately important.
Land near Xankarvo, de facto captain in that he's the only one with an actual coherent goal around here.Xankarvo's expression, formerly contemplative, rapidly sours.
"Hello there! Just checking in to say that, well, there seems to be some sort of unnatural sunset glow happening out toward the horizon. I suspect something rather suspicious is coming this way!"
((And I'm just dicking around randomly like attention deficit kid.))
((Nah, we recruiting a god to help us wage bloody war on the god-king of the multiverse.))He says he's already done that, so that's unlikely:
"So, little living things, what is it that you want? No one comes to me unless they want something, after all. If it is the death of others you desire, I'll tell you now that I'll have no part in such a thing. My days of conquest are long behind and death ceased to thrill me long ago."So unless you manage to make one of those action movie cliches where the main character is reluctant but then his home is destroyed and he's forced into a quest for safety and revenge... (Hopefully, it will be revenge against your enemies and not you.)
Collect the rifle Hyenakles threw into the stream, assuming it's the same shallow one I'm in.He threw it with me attached. See my action above :P
Then take it and the axe back to the Warbeast.
Sebastian shakes himself off, picks up the gun, and wades back out of the stream, carrying the gun to the warbeast, yelling "You dropped this! And me! We need all hands to fight the demon of the trees! Stand, brothers, Stand against the infection. Do not yield to the encroaching vegetative corruption! Stand and be free!" And then I will turn and fire the gun at the forest.[1]
"That would make sense given the nature of universes back in the mortal realm," Xankarvo muses. "I swore a blood oath at one point or another in the past to find the place, and now I am the last member of that pact who has not died and reincarnated elsewhere. My followers accompany me on this quest for reasons of their own - safety in numbers for the most part. Tell me, are you interested in finding the origin point of these hells and heavens?""It is tempting, but this faith array of mine is part of a gambit I have been arranging for many years." He cocks his head. "One which may be coming to fruition soon, if I am not mistaken."
Recruit a god perhaps?
Greet the god. "Well, hello. I'm Dianne Lee. And you are....?""Names are unimportant" The god says, standing up from the pool, "My children call me the Most Beautiful. You may call me whatever you please."
Dave shrugged as best as his dino-shoulders allowed. "Honestly? I'm mostly along for the ride. I really don't need you to do anything for me. The most I would ask for is a drink; we have a little booze but it isn't much. Nice place you have here, though!""Bounty is one of my domains." He says, seemingly disconnected from your question, and then says something. You can't understand it because of the language he used, but there's something immensely powerful about the way he said it. As though it reverberated across the entire desert and yet was no louder than a whisper.
Small talk with divinity.
"Oi! Hyena man! What is the current situation?"
Follow after Hyenaclese and yell at him. If he's not saying anything useful, go back to Xan.
"The situation is: I'm getting the fuck out of here, and you should too. Make sure to kick the possessed cat with one of your phantom limbs on your way up."Hyenankles loads a new rifle while yelling to The floating glass ball.
Climb up into the platform, and retrieve and load one of our spare rifles.
"Warbeast! Destroy that forest! It's EVIL!" Command the warbeast to uproot trees. If it doesn't obey straight out, try figure out how to make it obey, namely pulling those control ropes randomly.The Engine spirit doesn't exactly want to cooperate so you just start pulling ropes. You manage to get it to start walking forward, but thats about it.
Land near Xankarvo, de facto captain in that he's the only one with an actual coherent goal around here.
"Hello there! Just checking in to say that, well, there seems to be some sort of unnatural sunset glow happening out toward the horizon. I suspect something rather suspicious is coming this way!"
"Right so, whiz-bang," Mr. Bird nods and briefly looks at the Most-Beautiful. "Fine day to you too, good chap."Mr. sally two actions.
Take off and continue keeping a lookout after report is made.
Collect the rifle Hyenakles threw into the stream, assuming it's the same shallow one I'm in.You grab the rifle, ignoring mr.shot-himself-in-the-shin, and take it and the ax back to the warbeast.
Then take it and the axe back to the Warbeast.
Hyenakles gets the Engine Spirit's attention. "The cat's possessed, and there's some kind of weird glowy thing on the horizon. I think it's time to get going. Could you walk us over to the trees, and try to get everybody's attention?"
Ask above.
Float back on over to Xankarvo. I know who I want to be near when magic shit goes down."The thing is pathologically annoying, I'll admit. Did he say why to maim the cat? Hyenakles has a strong sense of self-preservation."
"So, I talked to the hyena, and he told me nothing of use at all. Except that I should strive to maim that cat thingy, which is probably a good idea anyway."
"This intrigues me. Would you care to elucidate?"The Most Beautiful smiles in a distant way. "The last stand of a foolish man."
Plans you say? Ask about this.
((Hey no need to worry piecewise, I'm still enjoying this immensely.))
Whimper and yowl for attention, while holding my shin and trying not to bleed out.You whimper and yowl for help until, through tear filled eyes, you notice that your blood is behaving oddly. It leaks from your leg and pools on the ground around your feet, and from that pool stretch streams with perfect square edges and hard angled geometry. The blood flows out in a jerking, unnatural way, forming a strange square-ish symbol around you. It even flows out and sits, unmoving, atop the flowing water of the stream. As you watch, you feel your mouth moving automatically, like someone is shoving their fingers between your teeth and awkwardly working your jaw up and down.
Ask some questions."So, what exactly do you do around here? As a god, what are you most good at?"He seems to ignore your question, instead focusing on the sky.
Dianne looks up at the god.
"Wha? Really? Wow, you are Most Beautiful! Thanks! Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to try it!"You take a gulp of stream water. It kind of tastes like apple cider with a fairly heavy hit of alcohol. It's an odd sensation, because it's like the burn of the alcohol only hits once the fluid has been in your mouth for a second or two. Even the consistency of the fluid changes slightly. You wonder what caused it to become apple cider instead of straight vodka? Hmm.
Believe in the power of the Most Beautiful. Go drink some water. Probably a pretty big gulp, really.
"KITTY!"
Dave grimaces with indecision, looking back at the injured cat from atop the warbeast.
On the one hand, he hated the idea of leaving his companion down there to suffer; on the other... something about such creatures had always given him the willies. Some kind of deep, ingrained ancestral memory that made him reluctant to trust them, no matter how cute and harmless they seemed.
Allow my desire to aid the cat to duke it out with my species' instinctual distrust of felines.
Depending on which impulse emerges victorious, either drop everything and rush back down there to carry the poor widdle kitty to safety, or curl up in a foetal position on the warbeast and cover my ears to block out the cat's piteous cries.
The Warbeast Lumbers forward a few steps and then, in direct opposition to your frantic rope pulling, turns and faces the sky. It stares at the glowing light in the distance and then drops to its knees.Hyenakles gets the Engine Spirit's attention. "The cat's possessed, and there's some kind of weird glowy thing on the horizon. I think it's time to get going. Could you walk us over to the trees, and try to get everybody's attention?"
Ask above.
"I'm already walking it! Do not interrupt my revenge!"
Keep pulling the ropes, eventually I find right ones and uproot the forest!
Float back on over to Xankarvo. I know who I want to be near when magic shit goes down.You float down towards the cat, but as you get closer the air itself gets heavier. You feel like you're straining to push yourself through molasses, and then through wet cement. You move via an exertion of your will; a will far greater than yours has condensed itself around the cat.
"So, I talked to the hyena, and he told me nothing of use at all. Except that I should strive to maim that cat thingy, which is probably a good idea anyway."
AMEND: After speaking with Xan, go back and tell any stragglers to regroup at the warbeast. Then go there myself.
If sufficient lift is possible, psionically airlift the cat with me back to the warbeast. No need to mind the wounded limb. If this is not possible, oh well. I'll get over it.
You acceptin' character sheetsYeah, though the waitlist is kinda buried somewhere, or was last time I looked.
Pull a sword - or a chainsaw - out of thin air and cut off my own leg. Resist the evil! I don't want to be absorbed by the Conquering King![2]
If I fail to pull a useful blade out of nothing, then use the gun and shoot the sigil instead.
dooooooooomed. Caught between an impossible tree and a burning bush in the sky.
After taking a moment to utter some hyenglic oaths, Hyenakles snaps at theYou dive for cover near the reins, yelling at the engine spirit to do something.warbeastengine spirit. "Then make it cover its ears, or something! Dammit, I don't want to die again today."
Take cover with the engine spirit.
"Chariot of fire? Does it mean those evil trees will burn? Awesome!"You shout and clap, clacking your claws together, hooting in excitement towards the burning thing in the sky.
Cheer the chariot of fire! May it make the forest burn into ashes!
"Ah! That does look a tad alarming."You turn tail, quite literally, and start flying away from this entire fucking mess. You up and away, putting as much distance between yourself, the warbeast, your teammates and literally everything that might be considered dangerous, as possible.
It's time to fuck off right about now, I'd wager. It's a good thing I can fly! Retreat to a distance that would seem relatively safe from nucular annihilation.
"All glory to my nonexistent ass."[6]
I can sing, too.
Sing while telekinetically disrupting the symbol that's forming around the cat. Reform it into a symbol praising the great pyromancer Xan, and his journey to the first heaven.
Xankarvo stares momentarily at him.
"Your people gave me a vessel to channel their voice. If you survive, and can inform me through it, let me know. Remember my name."
He turns away from the god.
"Everyone else, we're leaving! Now!"
Get out of the Most-Beautiful's place. Move with extreme haste.
"Hey, thanks for this! It's awesome! But yeah I think it's time for me to go okay bye"
Yeah no, time to get back with the main part of the group and skedaddle. Starting to get all sea monster up in here.
Dianne panics. "THE HELL. I AIN'T DYING HERE."
Find somewhere to take cover.
I'd like to attempt to cheese things in my favour by stating that John believes in Xan due to knowing to an extent that faith can be stacked.
Say Hyenakles? Maybe Mr. Bird?
((I believe in me who believes in me who believes in me who...))((It does have limits, given that in the OP piecewise specifically prohibits 'people who get stronger by yelling and believing in themselves'.))
((Maybe, but I doubt that's how he got to the point he's at. He likely rounded up an army and started conquering, and as he got more and more successful his fame spread far and wide and he got more and more powerful that way.))Could always have asked The most beautiful, but we're a bit beyond that now.
((Well, could've asked him but by the time the topic got to Xan's mind he was already in the middle of that ritual deal.Voting in this election has been like choosing between sticking my dick in a burning tire or a pile of used needles. And whats worse is that among the various people who have been wheeled past my underground skull chamber, I've found that there's a distinct undercurrent of considering voting for donald trump "For the Lulz". Of literally pushing this meme made flesh into office because of the mild snarky amusement that might be gained from watching a once proud nation burn to the ground.
Ah, voting. My sympathies.))
Unconscious is better than dead, eh?[1]
Try not to bleed out, and unconsciously resist the Chariot of Fire. Wake up?
Sing along with Most Beautiful.[1]
Dianne stares in shock.Back up Towards him? Slowly walk backwards in his direction? Alright then you start moonwalking in his general direction. Quite a ballsy and casual thing to do, but there you go.
Slowly back up towards the Most Beautiful.
"Pretty! And shiny, too."You start circling once you reach a distance that you guess is probably outside the blast radius. At this range, it's quite hard to make any of your friends (maybe soon to be meals) out. But that misguided star they seem to have attracted, it is clearly visible. Even at this range, sharing the skies with the thing is like flying in a typhoon: the wind is harsh and completely random, whipping you back and forth, while static charges leap between your feathers.
Circle at a great distance and observe the big explosions!
Attempt to do the following:[1]
Grab two of the explosive rocks that John(?) had wrapped in cloth, and bundle them together using a banner. Cut a significant portion of the reins from the warbeast (up to 20 ft, if possible) using one of the extra gladiuses, reel it in, and wrap it around my waist. Leave the sword, but take the rocks with me to the upper part of the platform structure, on the warbeast's head.
Xankarvo looks at the glaring thing in the sky, eclipsing near the entire sky with streamers of fire.You know, I rolled via random.org. And I rolled 4 dice. I got three 1's and then a 6. And as it turns out I used up all the ones and then ended up here. Hmm. Faith in you is iffy among this crew, but you've got a very powerful roll...so I'm gonna have you hold off for a moment...
Things run on belief here. Miracles happen because everyone believes they will. Thus by the very nature of the cosmos, impressive acts will garner more results than many mundane ones accomplishing the same action. Narrative importance is key to attaining power. Mould your own narrative correctly, and you become unstoppable.
I doubt I will escape the blowback from this if I run, and such an act would paint another facet in others' perception of me. That of a mortal, one who runs from danger when it overwhelms his capacities. A reasonable action, to be sure, but not the one of a powerful being. That comes to those who act in accordance with their perceived capabilities.
This star, this entity, it is no doubt the property of a powerful entity. Perhaps even the Great Conquering King I have heard of. Such a being would be folly to make an enemy of normally.
But great beings have greater foes, do they not?
Xankarvo bares his flint and steel teeth in the light of the Chariot of Fire. His expression is exultant, maniacal, the face of a man staring at a coin that has death on one side and an infinity of power on the other.
"You think you can conquer these lands with your Chariot of Fire, whoever you may be?"
He pauses to pull out a bottle of booze/fuel, whichever one he has on his person.
"You'll regret having run into me! I am Xankarvo! The Grand Pyromancer!"
Do some bigass spectacle to hopefully manipulate the local faith in the area and tap into my already established fire-manipulating nature to ... I dunno, subvert/divert the energy of/sap the power of/do something dramatic to the Chariot of Fire. Go with the flow and all that.
Continue to execute Plan GTFO.You run off in the opposite direction as fast as your little dino-legs can manage. This isn't very fast, but every little bit helps.
"I'm happy that the forest is gone, but I really wanted to see it burn first."It does not, regardless of how insistently you yank on those ropes.
Since there's nothing left to see or hunt, let's continue pulling ropes. Maybe the warbeast moves.
I live in a country of obnoxious hipster millennial Nero wannabes.
Try, try again?Well, in a general sense, for the president at least, their vote actually DOESN'T matter because of the electoral college and its ability to just do whatever it wants. But it matters for local elections. Also, the form of protest they can do is to vote for "Neither of these"QuoteI live in a country of obnoxious hipster millennial Nero wannabes.
((I've personally only seen that viewpoint online. Most of the Trump-supporting young'uns I know (and they're frustratingly common where I live), actually buy into his particularly toxic brand of Kool-Aid. My biggest complaint about my fellow kids deez days is that too many of them think either (a) that their vote doesn't matter, or (b) that not voting is somehow a form of protest.))
Attempt to do the following:[4]
Grab two of the explosive rocks that John(?) had wrapped in cloth, and bundle them together using a banner. Cut a significant portion of the reins from the warbeast (up to 20 ft, if possible) using one of the extra gladiuses, reel it in, and wrap it around my waist. Leave the sword, but take the rocks with me to the upper part of the platform structure, on the warbeast's head.
GODS FUCKING DAMMIT RNGNoted.
Yes that is my action.
Run for my life.You cease your rather funky action and immediately sprint off in the opposite direction from this entire situation. At this point there are very few people left near by.
"AAAHHHHHHHH!!!"
"Ooh, I want that heart!"[2]
Overcome the dread, get down and move over to where Xankarvo is (using him as a shield), pondering how exactly I can get heart of something that dangerous.
Well, fanfuckingtastic.Oh, ho? An interesting offer.
Cling to life. If I have to, I'll make a deal with one of the entities to preserve my life
Huh, that Xan guy knows some neat tricks. ((Assuming that Dave got a glimpse of that.))You...well take cover is perhaps too strong a description. You plod over to a rather large stone and flop down on your dinobelly, with your head peeking out from behind it. The stone, while it does cover your body, is just a large rock sitting on the dirt. Any significant shockwave and it will either provide limited protection or perhaps even just fall down on top of you.
Take cover! See about getting into a nice hull-down position and dino-peek out to watch the proceedings.
How much of that did I see? If more than a little bit, screech from on high to express my approval for this explosion. And then flee considerably further to avoid looking at Bad News Man down on the ground.
((The dice, they answer my plea! I am blessed!))
Xankarvo, upon coming down from his power high, immediately reconsiders his position on things.
Every time I get too big for my britches, I swear. Carefully, carefully.
Not entirely certain what to do with this fire cloth at the moment. Wear it as a cloak mayhaps?
I have in my possession some notebook paper and a fancy pen. Pull both those out. On a sheet of paper, write my name and 'a swift escape to the next heaven over' or something similar on it. Observe the interaction between the Conquering King and the Most-Beautiful, not doing anything to draw attention to myself.
If shit starts to get dangerous for me, put that message into the shell the scarred guy gave me and break it.
Sebastian accepts gratefully the aid of his fellow travelers. Well, you know, being unconscious, in a coma, and bleeding out, he accepts placidly and mutely, but perhaps that is for the best, eh?((Hey, if nothing else Xan can use you as kindling to save someone actually useful.))
I was hoping Sebastian could be useful in this game by distracting various enemy hordes and sending them chasing fairy lights, all while basking in the attention of whatever comes along.
Being soundly ignored and annoying his fellow travelers is less ideal. Ah well, he'll be useful (and maybe glorious) yet. If he lives.
I have a skillset, damn it! It's just not oneSebastian accepts gratefully the aid of his fellow travelers. Well, you know, being unconscious, in a coma, and bleeding out, he accepts placidly and mutely, but perhaps that is for the best, eh?((Hey, if nothing else Xan can use you as kindling to save someone actually useful.))
I was hoping Sebastian could be useful in this game by distracting various enemy hordes and sending them chasing fairy lights, all while basking in the attention of whatever comes along.
Being soundly ignored and annoying his fellow travelers is less ideal. Ah well, he'll be useful (and maybe glorious) yet. If he lives.
"... You're annoying, but I'm not going to just let you die."[5]
Apply pressure to keep the cat from dying.
"..."The cat is on the warbeast, you are most certainly not on the war beast. Instead you stay where you are and keep an eye on things. Though you also make sure to stay low to the ground; don't want to catch a constellation laser to the head.
So this is not the King himself. Perhaps this is salvageable. I do still have the Voice ... I could distract him with it.
Am I near the cat? If I'm able to reach him, heal his wounds. With fire powers.
Keep an eye on the situation unfolding with the Most-Beautiful and the robed man. A herald of the Conquering King, perhaps? Be ready to evacuate if I need to.
Head to the upper deck again. Tie one end of the rope toa sturdy part of the platform, and the other around my waist.You tie the rope as desired, both to the deck and you.
Observe from a safe distance.
The cat is on the warbeast, you are most certainly not on the war beast.The cat is not on the warbeast, he got thrown into the water, got out of the water, shot himself in the leg, and hasn't moved since then. With the forest (and accompanying space distortion) gone, we should be fairly close to Xan.
"I take it he's not fully gone?"I'm not sure how useful it is to tell a god to kill a person it is currently trying to kill. That shell is only good for the power that Most Beautiful's people already have.
Write a message on another sheet of paper with my name on it and 'severely injure and/or kill the Herald' or something similar on it, just in case. Stay ready to evacuate if need be.
Question: At this point are you guys gonna just sit and watch till this ends?I have little choice but to try to stay alive. Once I am awake and alert, I'll act according to the situation at hand, but probably wouldn't just sit and watch.
So I think I know who the Great Conquering King isGenghis Khan?
Huh? No, I was making a shitty and entirely tasteless joke about the result of the US presidential election because the only proper response to such a memetastic nonfunny joke finally being concluded is to mock the everloving fuck out of it in a context entirely unrelated to it.So I think I know who the Great Conquering King isGenghis Khan?
Whoa man, just before I clicked to see the new replies in here I was thinking of starting a Drawception game about the great Trump Khan. :oSo I think I know who the Great Conquering King isGenghis Khan?
You have revealed your latent precog abilities. Be careful who you entrust your secret with, not everyone is sees it as a wonderful thing.Whoa man, just before I clicked to see the new replies in here I was thinking of starting a Drawception game about the great Trump Khan. :oSo I think I know who the Great Conquering King isGenghis Khan?
Crazy stuff. Did you read my mind, or did I read yours?
This was the second-best concert Mr. Bird had ever had the pleasure to attend.You squawk and try to clap your wings only to fall several hundred feet before righting yourself. After an embarrassed glace around to make sure no one saw, you start squawking again.
Cheer!
"Interesting. The quality matters as much as the spread."You pull the cloak off your shoulders and swing it around as you walk forward, clearing the air around you as best you can. Eventually, after wandering forward, coughing and rubbing the dust out of your eyes, you find The Most Beautiful. He's laying on his back, staring up at the sky. He's been absolutely riddled with holes, neat quarter sized tunnels drilled straight through his body in a dozen places, including several straight through his head. You can see his organs through the holes in his chest and gut; they are bloodless and still held in place as though the holes are filled with glass rods rather than being raw wounds. His right hand and most of his forearm seem to have been burnt off in his own attack, and there's a hole where his left eye should be that extends straight through his head. He seems to still be breathing. Hell, he seems relaxed.
Wait for the dust to clear.
...actually screw that DBZ trope, wave the dust away with my cloak of fire to see what exactly is happening in the place where they were fighting.
AwakenI'll let you have this one. You wake up on the deck of the Warbeast.
dang. Sebastian will be unable to use this information, as he is not privy to it.
Hang imposingly over Xan's shoulder, like some kind of deadly magical trinket.You float around just behind Xan, doing your best to look like some sort of brain-ball familiar. Or maybe a Crystalline Lich! Yeah, thats pretty freaking neat. You'll go with that.
Continue to stare.Yep.
Scamper down over to Xan and complain about lack of edible corpse."Perhaps you'll find it later."
"Where's his corpse? I wanted to eat it!"
Scamper down over to Xan and complain about lack of edible corpse.You sniff around, looking for a delicious heart to eat, but find nothing but hot glass, a swiss cheese'd god, and Xan poking said god with a stick.
"Where's his corpse? I wanted to eat it!"
You put your cape back on and talk to the Most Beautiful. He shifts an eye to you.Scamper down over to Xan and complain about lack of edible corpse."Perhaps you'll find it later."
"Where's his corpse? I wanted to eat it!"
Xan focuses his attention on the Most-Beautiful.
"Judging by your expression I take it that you aren't in any danger of dying at the moment?"
More talking? Yeah, more talking.
Also refasten the cape. Gotta look cool.
Land nearby to check who's alive and who has bones they don't need anymore.You, much like your deathclaw brother in Carrion loving are disappointed to find that there is nothing left of the herald to be eaten. Not unless you like hot glass.
Start making the journey back to the Warbeast.You walk back to the warbeast, which has manage to shake itself free of whatever was bewitching it. It plucks you up and places you on the deck.
Go back and prod the god-dude.You trundle over to the Most Beautiful, silently wondering if there's some sort of dino skateboard you can get that will make all this waddling around easier.
"That was rather amazing. Thanks again for the blessing!"
"What happened? Did I win?"Hmm, well no one is responding to you so I can only assume you insistently pull on hyenankle's arm, begging him to tell you whats going on.
Sebastian will listen to anyone who tells him the story, and then will embellish and repeat the story to the whole group, and to anyone else who will listen. He will insist that he won, somehow, maybe by having a mind battle with the evil trees in the darkness of the void. He'll also try not to bleed too much.
((There were only superficial similarities. The burning was of his opponent, and it was powered by his song and that of the tribes. His song ground their enemies to dust and all that. The fact that his arm got burnt off is more because of him protecting his people from those star bombs the Herald fired.((You seem to be the only character who is developing any sort of skill, talent, or strength.))
Ultimately his powers are based around song and myth he nurtured in the tribes, and mine seem to be forming into an exaggerated form of thermodynamics - I take energy out of one thing and put it into another.))
((Seems to be the nature of the setting - those who are already in prominence grow in it. Sorry :/((There were only superficial similarities. The burning was of his opponent, and it was powered by his song and that of the tribes. His song ground their enemies to dust and all that. The fact that his arm got burnt off is more because of him protecting his people from those star bombs the Herald fired.((You seem to be the only character who is developing any sort of skill, talent, or strength.))
Ultimately his powers are based around song and myth he nurtured in the tribes, and mine seem to be forming into an exaggerated form of thermodynamics - I take energy out of one thing and put it into another.))
"I'd offer to help, but my power works off of sacrifice, and at the moment I've nothing and no one I'm willing to destroy.""Oh! I kept the cat fresh, by the way. On an unrelated topic."
"I appreciate the input, but the situation isn't that urgent. Plus the cat can still be of use, he's good at telling and exaggerating stories. I've ideas.""I'd offer to help, but my power works off of sacrifice, and at the moment I've nothing and no one I'm willing to destroy.""Oh! I kept the cat fresh, by the way. On an unrelated topic."
((Fakeedit: We're just Xan's entourage. :P))((I'd watch the fabulous adventures of magical girl Xan-chan and his entourage in their quest to burn the first heaven in order to gain its power.
Mr. Bird performs a cursory examination of the godlike chap what got himself stabbed."It depends upon what my people think of me. Their notions of beauty are rather unique, wouldn't you say?"
"Say! That looks quite painful there. Is it going to last, do you think? Or are you likely to reassemble at a point when nobody's looking? I'm a little new to this theomechanics business, you see."
Query on whether being the Most Beautiful applies to this guy by default or necessarily by belief - would him being called and known by that name maintain his beauty? Can you maintain a subjective thing like that? Or does that mean that he shifts to match the eye of the beholder? If that's the case, is it possible that he could turn into a rather wonderful-looking bearded vulture if none of these other yobs were watching?
"I'd offer to help, but my power works off of sacrifice, and at the moment I've nothing and no one I'm willing to destroy. Instead, I would like some answers, seeing as the present threat is over. Who was that? I'm currently assuming he was some sort of herald for the Great Conquering King that I've previously heard mention of as having built the Hellway. You evidently have some sort of history with him?""Herald? Hm. Assassin more like. I think, in reality, that might have just been a junior cartographer. Star-teller maybe. The King seems to have very little faith in me anymore. Then again, he underestimated me by only a slight degree" He looks down at his injuries. "I should be thankful that my people believe me harder to kill than I thought. But it is telling. Had he considered me enough of a threat to send something more dangerous than some lower courtier, I doubt I would have survived. New plans must be drafted for the future."
Yep, more questions.
Continue tagging along. Maybe acquire a crutch.You find a bit of stick to lean on.
He's been working hard to do so. Admittedly, you actually do have one now, though it might not be terribly obvious.((There were only superficial similarities. The burning was of his opponent, and it was powered by his song and that of the tribes. His song ground their enemies to dust and all that. The fact that his arm got burnt off is more because of him protecting his people from those star bombs the Herald fired.((You seem to be the only character who is developing any sort of skill, talent, or strength.))
Ultimately his powers are based around song and myth he nurtured in the tribes, and mine seem to be forming into an exaggerated form of thermodynamics - I take energy out of one thing and put it into another.))
Exit the foetal position, come out of hiding and look around.You hug the kitty who yells about his leg and then demands to know what happened while simultaneously taking credit for it.
Give the cat a big hug to express my joy at his (and my, for that matter!) continued survival.
((Fakeedit: We're just Xan's entourage. :P))
"*sigh*, I don't know what's real anymore."You lay down on the deck, resting your head in your arms and staring up at the still stormy sky. Things like this never happened when you were alive.
Lie down on the deck.
Ryan hasn't been around long enough to really understand dangers of hot glass, so he bites a piece of it anyway.[5]
After that he goes bother The Most Beautiful and asks in his most innocent tone: "Can I have your heart?"
"You gonna be okay, buddy?""In time." He says , pushing himself back onto his feet with some difficulty. "For now, I have to see about my people. It has been a long time since I visited them; renewing their faith in me now would be beneficial to us both, I believe."
Poke prod poke prod
((Dave certainly is gaining respect for Xan's power.))
To Xan:Xankarvo nods.
"I've thought some about your burgeoning legend, and I think it would be beneficial to both of us if I appeared to be your familiar. By appearing to have animated a moving construct, you appear to have more power to new people, and by associating myself with you, I will gain power as well. It seems to me like a useful lie."
"Hmm. The question is simply which is most convincing, or which plays the most into people's preconceived notions of wizards. I think that I shall be silent around new people unless addressed directly, and if someone asks, you can explain.""Seems agreeable."
"Seems agreeable.""Yes, agreed."
((On a bit of a meta level, does anyone have anything they want to accomplish with the Most-Beautiful and his tribes before we resume our road-trip? I'm mainly sticking around at the moment to find out more about the Conquering King and hopefully cut a deal with him that'll be very beneficial for the both of us. The both being me and him, and by me subsequently Egan and then the rest of you by trickle-down faith economics. Barring anything else happening/being necessitated, I'm not opposed to moving on right after then if anyone wants to.))((I was thinking about asking if we could take part in whatever Most Beautiful has planned next. Of course, he might have no use for us in particular, and his plans might be a little more long-term than is appropriate for our little RTD. Still, I like the guy and wouldn't mind taking a few jobs from him. He might be the most benevolent god we're likely to meet.))
((He might be the most benevolent god we're likely to meet.))((A definite outlier in the Pantheon, for sure. Sebastian wants attention and adulation. The Most Beautiful is a means to that, btu Sebastian has had no contact with him, and no awarenes of the discussions being carried out anywhere but the War Beast, since that's where he is))
"Well, that was.... interesting. Hey, Engine dude! Any luck controlling this thing?""Indeed I do. Exactly what happened there? Chariots of Fire are not a common sight in these far flung locales."
See if the warbeast is still unresponsive.
Sebastian returns the hug and hobbles around comically oin his stick, occasionally falling into a tumble and coming more or less upright when he does.
Then, he looks out at the hill again. What new info can he learn about it now that events have evented?
He will keep up a litany of storytelling the whole time, hopefully amusing his fellow survivors while exaggerating his own near death experience into a vast cosmic battle. Since he has no information at all concerning everyone else's parts, his own will naturally be central.
@Yoink: I missed where your charcer hugged mine last round. oops.
"Oh, would you think? I supposed that they disfigured themselves so that they do not accidentally approach the title of Most Beautiful. So if anyone comes along who isn't especially ugly, that seems like blasphemy. You're saying they simply have unusual standards of beauty? How ethnographically curious! Reminds me of those fellows in Darkest Africa, really."
"In any case, before we leave, do you have any bones here? Luxurious ones, perhaps, that you wouldn't mind handing over for a good cause?"
"What is your history with the King, in that case? Seeing as even a lower courtier has that amount of power, if I'm going to find the First Heaven I'm undoubtedly going to run into some more of his agents. I'd like to know more about them, and him. Come, we'll bring you back to the tribes on our warbeast. I don't think you'll want to excersise much faith-based power until you've healed yourself a little.""I was a tactician, a very long time ago. But they have grown in power immensely since my days, it seems. I fear I have little knowledge of their current empire; though if you were inclined I'm sure you could find out more by heading deeper into his territory. The man I knew may have grown to be a tyrant, but he would never be the kind of madman to slaughter harmless travelers."
Offer to transport him back to his dudes on the warbeast (which is hopefully working now that the courtier guy's dead). Chit-chat more.
Dianne sits up, and begins to sing.[3]
Begin singing about this whole mess.
"Well!" cried Dave. "I believe in you, buddy! You could teach our friend Xan here a few tricks! He knows a little, sure, but that was amazing!"
Believe in this guy. Also probably take another sip of water. Then follow Xan around.
Throw a bit of tantrum for my request being ignored and nibble finger of Most Beautiful.
"Just thinking to myself. You know, a fan of mine ended my real life.""Really? And I thought dying 'cause I overdosed on crack was bad. The 60s were that kind of time, I guess."
"The audience are the ones on fire."
Dianne glares at Sebastian.What? are my petticoats showing?
"Hmm. Leave the singing to the pros, dear."Trying to Hindu yourself and escape the wheel of reincarnation? Too bad you can't fool yourself into thinking you're a robot.
Sing an improved version of Diane's song.
((Here's a thought: if I continually appear a mindless automata, I might actually become that, thus dying permanently, without any respawning nonsense. If you think of this place as a hell, that might be a good thing.))
"But...but...MY SPOTLIGHT! I WAS MEANT TO BE SOMETHING IN MOTOWN. NOW I'M HERE!"You cry and whine intolerably about the slings and arrows of fate and what might have been. Most of those in attendance make some feeble attempt at telling you things aren't so bad. Hyenakles tells you to shut up.
Sob about how my fame is gone.
"My thanks for the advice, though I do not intend to lock myself into a narrative guaranteed to end in my death. I'll keep that in mind."You may walk with me, if you wish."
If you don't mind, I'll walk with you; I have a proposition that may benefit the both of us a good deal, if you're interested."
Offer a deal... also check over my physical appearance. Did I get altered at all by the whole 'catch the explosion' thing?
I'mma hop down andYou get the warbeast to plop you down near the group and then hobble straight in, talking non-stop. The guy with no arms kind of just grins at you.runhobble over to the group around the holy guy and bullshit.
Hey guys! I did it! I beat the evil trees! Who's the new guy? Hey, what's with the glass? Did any of you happen to see a leg around here? I kinda lost one somehow. Boy, I nbet it was that cat harem from space. Those ladies were H.O.T., hot.
((honestly, I'm a little surprised that I woke up when I did. Glad that coma wasn't as enduring as it could have been.))
"Hang on, I shall look!"Hmm I think there is some raw meat in the warbeast, right? Did that all get cooked after the warthog hunt?
Search for some raw meat that nobody would miss.
"Your guess is as good as mine. I ran as soon as the weird possessions and shit started happening.""Be on guard, things like that can't zero in on an area without a beacon. They must have connected to us somehow, and if they did it once, they can do it again."
Talky
Throw a bit of tantrum for my request being ignored and nibble finger of Most Beautiful.
Throw a big tantrum! Bite somebody!
"Notice me!"
I tell the armless guy: It was the trees! That's how the evil gets you. the trees tried to eat you. But I was too quick for them. I totally kicked their asses. Bam! Right in the knotholes. They ate my leg He says sadly But it was worth it to rescue you and these guys too, from the arboreal abominations. Hey, there ... careful. Need a hand, man? Oh ... Uh ... I mean ... Hey, where are we going anyway?
"I'm hungry." Ryan explains while beaming innocence. "And I couldn't find the fire dude's heart."
Nibble his feets as long as I can, and gets on the warbeast.I tell the armless guy: It was the trees! That's how the evil gets you. the trees tried to eat you. But I was too quick for them. I totally kicked their asses. Bam! Right in the knotholes. They ate my leg He says sadly But it was worth it to rescue you and these guys too, from the arboreal abominations. Hey, there ... careful. Need a hand, man? Oh ... Uh ... I mean ... Hey, where are we going anyway?
"Yes, those trees were evil ones. I wanted to burn them, but hyenaman said no."
Drink some more water. If I have a gift, it should be used!
Attempt to convince everyone that Ao's character is larger than he is.
((I can never keep that straight. I can't tell half the time who is what))Drink some more water. If I have a gift, it should be used!Attempt to convince everyone that Ao's character is larger than he is.
((Ryan, Ao's character, is a deathclaw. My character, Dave, is a dinosaur.))
((I can never keep that straight. I can't tell half the time who is what))
((The benefits of violently asserting yourself as often as possible. Hard to miss a tall bald guy in a wizard tracksuit and hat with flint and steel teeth and arms made of asbestos wearing a cloak of flame.))((I can never keep that straight. I can't tell half the time who is what))
((And since Comrade P. disappeared nobody has kept the wikipage up to date. But it is hard to mistake what Xantalos is.))
((Ryan, Ao's character, is a deathclaw. My character, Dave, is a dinosaur.))
I tell the armless guy: It was the trees! That's how the evil gets you. the trees tried to eat you. But I was too quick for them. I totally kicked their asses. Bam! Right in the knotholes. They ate my leg He says sadly But it was worth it to rescue you and these guys too, from the arboreal abominations. Hey, there ... careful. Need a hand, man? Oh ... Uh ... I mean ... Hey, where are we going anyway? Hey, be careful around that dinosaur. Don't let his size fool you. he's actually really very big!As you finish your rambling speech everyone turns to stare at dave, who is the only dinosaur around here. It's hard to tell, but you think he might have grown an inch.
Attempt to convince everyone that Ao's character is larger than he is.
((I believe Hyenakles left a bunch of roasted meat down by his fire. Someone might want to grab it before the buzzards do. The other buzzards, I mean.))"Yes, the beacons are almost always living beings because they are effectively a hot spot of faith in an otherwise faithless area. In our case I believe the cat creature may have somehow become a beacon, but I'm unsure how."
"What do you mean, a beacon? Like a physical object?" Hyenakles growls. "Could an animal be a beacon?"
Say above. If he says yes to the last question, hoist Oz up by the tail and offer him to the Engine spirit. "This little shit look like a beacon to you?"
EDIT: Also, once everyone is on board, have the warbeast walked over to the scarred tribes, as Xan requested below.
"I'm hungry." Ryan explains while beaming innocence. "And I couldn't find the fire dude's heart."
Nibble his feets as long as I can, and gets on the warbeast.I tell the armless guy: It was the trees! That's how the evil gets you. the trees tried to eat you. But I was too quick for them. I totally kicked their asses. Bam! Right in the knotholes. They ate my leg He says sadly But it was worth it to rescue you and these guys too, from the arboreal abominations. Hey, there ... careful. Need a hand, man? Oh ... Uh ... I mean ... Hey, where are we going anyway?
"Yes, those trees were evil ones. I wanted to burn them, but hyenaman said no."
Grab a bit of roast meat (close enough, I guess) and return to the Most-Beautiful with it. What's he going to do with it?You give the meat to the most beautiful and he presses it against his stump. The meat twitches and deforms, growing skin and fusing to the limb, reforming one of his arms. This done, he reaches down and grabs a clod of dirt and crushes it down. When he reopens his hand there's a small white seed sitting on his palm.
You sip on some more water from the now drying riverbed. Tastes like single malt.Drink some more water. If I have a gift, it should be used!Attempt to convince everyone that Ao's character is larger than he is.
((Ryan, Ao's character, is a deathclaw. My character, Dave, is a dinosaur.))
Hmm. Interesting.
Xankarvo goes to walk with the Most-Beautiful.
"Hyenakles, I'm going to walk with the Most-Beautiful. Since John seems to have withdrawn into himself and my spherical friend here has decided to stay with me, I'll ask you to take the warbeast back to the tribes and meet us there. Alright?"
He then turns to the god, presumably as they start walking.
"Firstly, you mentioned you would have to make new plans in the wake of this assault? What I propose may help you and your people stay alive over the future. Right now your tribes seem to be mostly confined to one heaven, and while their focused faith gives them strength, their small populace does render them relatively vulnerable to being killed all at once, robbing you of their powerbase. If you convince some of them to come with me on my journey through the infinite heavens, I could help them find suitable places to settle, to grow your base of worship and spread them out so they're not all in one place to be taken out at once. I'd ask only a small favor in return, but first tell me if this is a thing you'd wish to do."
Give my part of the prospective deal: I take a bunch of tribespeople on the warbeast and help them settle the infinite heavens so all the MB's worshipers won't get wiped out at once if they're attacked again. That sound like something he'd want to do?
Say"No, rivalry may lower the over all number but will increase the force. When people rally behind something and think its their choice, their faith becomes far greater. And I highly doubt internal squabbling would collapse the empire; in the end the King would probably just kill off the problematic forces and increase his renown. You must remember that He was always powerful, even before he had the Empire. "
You know what might help? We could spread songs extolling one of the heroes of the Empire over another, and vice versa. Sow the seeds of dissension through praise, improperly applied. create sporting teams as it were and initiate rivalries. Throw a few riots, and you got yourself the makings of a civil war.
Hey, what's that about a beacon again? AM I even greater than I thought already? I am, I knew it. I never cease to amaze me.
"You misunderstand my intention, I think. I felt the power that courtier gave off; attempting to match it would be folly. But if you attempt to split his kingdom up and he takes preemptive action against you, your people may all die if he sends anyone stronger than the one you defeated. Even aside from having them as a source of faith, you seem to have an attachment to them, and so that's likely not a thing you want to happen. If I were to help a number of them find a home outside of this heaven, they're more proof against such an attempt. The only thing I'd ask in return is to be included in the songs of your children - not as anything approaching your importance to them obviously, but if you were the principal god in their myths, perhaps a minor figure of importance in their religious heirarchy? If I'm to reach the First Heaven, I'll need at least some power backing me."
Proposition tl;dr: I help some scarred tribesmen find a home outside of the heaven so they're not so vulnerable to headcaps and in return I get written into a minor role in their mythology. Win-win hopefully?
Continue to sit down.You sit. You sit really hard. You think you might be sinking into the deck.
Mr. Bird nimbly moves his wing, grabbing the seed in his unnatural claws in a way that can't possibly be very practical.You search around the war beast until you find a metal bowl. Looks like it was supposed to be used for cooking, but will no doubt work as a flowerpot.
"Bone fruit! Hah! That reminds me of those lovely days in Burma. Thank you kindly!"
Look around for a flowerpot on the warbeast. Or maybe a helmet with a hole in it. One of those should be there somewhere!
Dave flexes his knees a bit. Was he bigger? Hard to tell. But it didn't really matter; this boon was amazing.You strut as well as you can on tiny dinosaur legs. It's not easy; your legs are clearly not designed to be lifted and kicked out in front of you very far. It results in a rather drunk and wobbly gait.
Strut around and act bigger. Stick with the crowd.
Sulk out somewhere on warbeast.You lay around, nibbling on various things. Anything that gets close enough to your mouth, really.
Hyenakles watches Oz for obvious signs of beaconness. Babbling, frothing at the mouth, suspicious EM transmitance, etc.Unfortunately he's too far away to watch.
Punch a hole in the bottom of the pot (say, by dropping it from a great height onto a sharp outcropping of rock or maybe by asking Ryan to help out) and put it onto a corresponding platter after filling it with dirt from the holy ground around the Most-Beautiful. Then get some water from the corresponding holy spring to water it! See, it all works out!
How many people does it seem like our warbeast was made to carry? Something like a Platoon?Comfortably, about 15 or 20.
"I'm entirely open to your suggestions on that front, seeing as I've no idea how many of them there are.""There are several hundred spread around the area. Of these I believe a dozen or so are about at the age of their pilgrimage and would be willing to go."
Dunno man, how many are there?
Punch a hole in the bottom of the pot (say, by dropping it from a great height onto a sharp outcropping of rock or maybe by asking Ryan to help out) and put it onto a corresponding platter after filling it with dirt from the holy ground around the Most-Beautiful. Then get some water from the corresponding holy spring to water it! See, it all works out!
Punch a hole in the bottom of the pot (say, by dropping it from a great height onto a sharp outcropping of rock or maybe by asking Ryan to help out) and put it onto a corresponding platter after filling it with dirt from the holy ground around the Most-Beautiful. Then get some water from the corresponding holy spring to water it! See, it all works out!
Ooh, attention! Help the birdie! Ryan has sharp claws!
"Ryan helps!"
Sebastian continue's to extol his mighty steeds, both Dave and Ao's deathclaw. He doesn't shove it in people's face though, but acts slightly more discretely, mentioning it as the opportunity arises in conversation. meanwhile, he continues to speak to the holy guy thus:Mostly this means that people ignore you and you occasionally interject with something mostly off topic. Eh, good enough.
Then perhaps it would be best to redirect their attention elsewhere. Make them forget about him. That's a long term effort though, and seems equally unlikely to succeed, as long as your old companion is still actively involved in this Empire you speak of. Perhaps we would do better to relocate to a more user friendly hell? Somewhere that is calling out for leadership or entertainment - masses of small minded people looking for direction, hope, or distraction? You seem big on this idea of compassion - that can gain lots of attention, after all."
"That would be appropriate to the capacity of our warbeast, I believe. May I specify some things you tell your people about me in your part of the agreement?"He agrees to this, but warns you that faith is often unpredictable and that appearances are important.
Around a dozen sounds good. If he agrees to me specifying some mythological details about myself, to save time I've listed them here:
-My name: Xankarvo
-I'm a wizard of great power
-I have powers over fire, both to heal and harm, can summon it out of nowhere, can breathe it at will, etc.
-I seek the First Heaven
We need to organize a welcoming party for them. Minions! Faithful steeds! Musicians! Let's show our guests what we're made of. We'll need banner and confetti, and a rousing theme song!"[4]
Sebastian stats writing a theme song titled "the Band of the Beast."
Ryan is bored.[2]
Completely ignore anyone who's not on board of warbeast and make it walk in some completely random direction.
"Leave it to me, I'ma go help with your song."[3]
Dionne helps Sebastian write the song.
Attempt to master the drunken strut.[6]
Land back near the Most-Beautiful.
"Nice plant! Grows a fair bit quicker than expected, if I may say so myself as an amateur gardener. Have you any cultivation advice?"
Continue to help compose the song.
Obviously we need to visit Succubus Hell and The Pleasure Grave. :D
Cross The Domain of the Mount King over to the Black Sun Cult, they might make entertaining conversation.
Might be a good idea to talk to our tribesmen about the surrounding areas.
And just for fun, draw a rough map of the areas we covered between Slencville and this Superhell.
Succubus Hell: No one has come back from there.
Let's go first to Idol Henge, then traverse by edge of Dead Silence and Mount King to Black Sun Cult.
Sebastian then starts talking about how delicious sky bugs are, especially with his deathclaw and dinosaur buddies. And the jackal man too.
"Idols of whom, one wonders? If these depict dead gods, what effect has the small amount of FAITH a passing traveler generates?""Not gods. Faith needs to be more organized than a singular idol in the middle of nowhere for an entity to attain any real power. Perhaps individuals? Perhaps they're people themselves."
"We could have the warbeast pick up one of the smaller ones."
"Put me down on one of the big ones!"[1]
Sebastian requests to be placed on top of one of the big statues, so he can examine it very carefully, using his information gathering skills, to find out what the idols are, or do, or aren't and don't do.
Basically just checking if they are 'normal' stone statues or if there is something weird about them, like they are alive, or computers, or some kind of secret ritual network or part of the Mandelbrot Set or something.
Idly wish I had the time to carve one of myself. Keep watch on the idol Sebastian's being put on just in case they turn alive or something. If nothing in particular happens, I'll vote for moving on.Well...something particular happens. Namely sebastian falls flat. You are unimpressed.
Swoop down and check the plains for small creatures I could squeeze blood from to water my plant.Well, if we ignore sebastian, you don't find anything. In fact, beyond the grass and trees this place seems completely devoid of any life. You circle up and out and find two things; first there are larger stones farther into this place, in fact, you see what looks like a mountain range a few miles off, shrouded by clouds. Second, there's what looks like a camp a mile or so from here. Not an inhabited one, an old one. There's a ring of stones and a burnt place where they had a fire. Some garbage too, maybe. Dunno, you're flying too high to make out details.
"Wouldn't it be better to make sure they don't get up and get pissed off first?"The statues don't seem to mind being climbed on.
Eyeball things from above, and observe if there's any reaction from other statues when one is landed on.
((Huh, endlessly recursive idols. Cool, if unlikely to be useful.))A lot of these places are gonna be weird but not terribly useful for much.
Unless there's objection from others, I vote to move on.
((True, that's a lot of the fun of it. If I were there, I'd likely still be somewhere in the starting hell, exploring like a demented Skyrim player. However, Xan's the one in the driver's seat, and Xan wants to metastasize his legend sooner rather than later.))((Huh, endlessly recursive idols. Cool, if unlikely to be useful.))A lot of these places are gonna be weird but not terribly useful for much.
Unless there's objection from others, I vote to move on.
Or maybe they all have hidden features!
Or not.
"There actually are trees here, you know."Well, none of them are trying to eat my brains, yet, is all I mean. Still you should probably keep an eye on them anyway. Never can tell with trees. They might be aligned with the birds, you know."
It's all idols, all the way down! Good news is, there are no evil trees here! Hey, I bet we cold make a fortune selling these things! help me collect some!
Sebastian grabs up fistfuls of the finger sized idols and the idolsand, and sees if hte warbeast will pick up a bigger one - human sized or ten foot tall or whatever, to put up on his back. Then Sebastian will come up and be ready to move on, telling of his remarkable feat in discovering such a wonderful and rare archaeological find.
((well, at leastthis (1) didn't have significant negative effects.))
"Adventure! Solve the mystery 'Who was there?'!"
To the mystery camp! Explore around and bite everything that's not teammate.
"Avast and hark, ye fine chaps! I spy an abandoned camp over yonder!"The Bird swoops down and picks up his reptilian friend, and together they fly out to the abandoned camp sight. The site is clearly one of some significance; the ground has been cleared down to the idol sand in a large circle, at the center of which is a fire pit with a ring of larger stones around it. Around the fire pit are several large, long, and skinny stones that have been laid on their side to act as seats around the fire. Both Mr. Bird and his birdbrained friend pick through the camp, finding the remnants of food, a few bits of rope, and other signs of habitation. It's hard to tell when the camp was last used, but it seems like the sort of thing that wasn't made by a single group. Rather it was probably set up and then used by several people over time.
Let's not move yet! First check the old camp!
I examine my four foot acquisition carefully, learning its appearance and details. Then, if the bird and deathclaw hang around the campsite this turn, I will join them and examine everything. See what I can see. If they return to the beast, though, I will stay with the group.You look over the statue...rock....thing. Its not a human its depicting, it's some sort of weird...you're not really sure It might be an alien? Its a coiled snake like body with a 6 part head like thing that kind of looks like a spreading flower, an there are tons of thin coiled tendrils branching off the main body. Or maybe thats just artistic? Who can say. You poke at it a bit and it seems to be normal stone, not alive by any means at least. Still, you feel something is a bit strange about this. There's a distant hint of FAITH about this thing, like a smell you can't quite place.
While we're here, look around and see if any of the stones resemble anyone I've met so far, or myself.You feel the same as before, but you really didn't give the scarred tribes any sort of physical characteristics to exaggerate. Maybe your fire generating powers are stronger? It might be smart to check that out...
Also surreptitiously examine myself to see if I'm undergoing any changes based on my legend being spread to the Most-Beautiful's lot.
Can I take a nap? I might have said before whether or not I sleep? Take a nap.Nappy Ball
If bits of rope are any useable length, loot them. It's gonna be beginning of my treasure hoard. Also pick up one head sized idol to watch over my treasures. All this stuff goes naturally on warbeast's back.You gather up a claw full of descent sized rope and a reasonably sized idol of some sort of screaming monkey god thing. You carry it all back to the war beast and stash them in a corner of the living quarters.
"It's a mystery camp! Nobody knows who made it, but it was used by many! Who will solve this mystery?"
Return to Xan briefly."I will take that as a suggestion instead of the command it was phrased as. Do watch your tongue in the future."
"Say, good chap, I see there's fire pit out there by the campsite! Try setting a fire there, will you? And make it last! Maybe leave a message as well, eh?"
Return to Xan briefly.Done
"Say, good chap, I see there's fire pit out there by the campsite! Try setting a fire there, will you? And make it last! Maybe leave a message as well, eh?"
Elder Thing(ish) statues, PW? That's ... interesting.How, specifically, do you want to do this? The Method, and if people are watching or not, can make a difference.
Retroactive good luck on your finals, by the by.Return to Xan briefly."I will take that as a suggestion instead of the command it was phrased as. Do watch your tongue in the future."
"Say, good chap, I see there's fire pit out there by the campsite! Try setting a fire there, will you? And make it last! Maybe leave a message as well, eh?"
Fire pit? Perfect opportunity to test out my fire powers!
Stand well back before I begin.
Hover over Xan's shoulder and observe blowtorch.Balls are watching
Say:What exactly do you mean by "Give forth"? Like, summon them here?
I knew it1 They are Idols, and they believe in me. Well, this one does. Whatever it is. this weird, snakeflower thingum. I'll name it My Snake of Throne on a Plain, Ordinary Warbeast! I bet this whole area is an idol. A three legged cat shaped Idol. Yep, for sure. Marvel at on of my lesser realms, my friends. Hey, I wonder if I can summon one of my minions through these bits? What do you guys think?
If no one objects, Sebastian is going to take a very small, sand grain idol and will it to give forth whatever being it represents.
...
You guys should probably object to this course of action.
If someone does object, he'll sit on his snakeflower throne and meow imperiously, pocketing the smaller idols for later.
Hyenakles glares at the party below, and grumbles to himself. "We could be eating shellfish right now, but noooo. Apparently the shellfish are too far. Apparently everybody would rather fuck around with rocks.
...
Speaking of rocks-"
Pick a mid-size statue nearish to the warbeast, but ideally away from Xan and co, and walk over to it. Gently place those stones I had been carrying around its base, and then begin walking the warbeast away from the statue. Do all of this quietly, ideally without drawing too much attention to myself.
Hmm.[2]
...
Perhaps try breathing fire on the firepit? Or send sparks flying from my teeth into the firepit and then make the ashes there flare up anew? Grasp a bit of fire from my cloak and fling it into the pit and stoke it from there with my breath?
...
Yeah, take a bit of fire from my cloak and cast it into the fire pit. Then make the dead ashes flare to life and such. Use me firey breath if I need to.
Circle above Xan and watch him make some fireworks."ooh, thats underwhelming"
Prop my rifle on the rail of the warbeast, take aim, and shoot the rocks.[1]
Yep. I mean summon them here.[6]
Holy crap, the game has been going on over a year already?You can fall the fuck off this thing to your death, the way things are going. Lets see.
Ryan runs in circles and does some parkouring on the warbeast. "What I can do?"
Sebastian pockets his doomsand and hops on down (i.e is lowered down) to greet the newcomer.
I shot myself in the leg with it! He proclaims, quite proudly.
I warned you guys to object. I warned you.
The orb lowers itself down to ground level, near Redneck Alligator Santa.
"Hello there! We meet again, I see. Have you found anything interesting out there?"
"What is that? What is that? Is it strong?" Ryan is excited.
Hyenakles meets S.T. on the ground.He hands you back the rifle, grinning broadly. "Gotta keep a better grip, son."
"Oh, it's you. Gimme that."
"Is that the old Hellmas Cheer I hear?""Fine, fine, how ya do ur'self birdy guy?"
Land near our good acquaintance. Spread wings in greeting.
"Hello! How are you? I must say, we've been having a smashing time ourselves."
Say
Yeah, like evil trees and stuff. But I showed them, in the end. me and my two faithful steeds over there. They're pretty big, aren't they? Huge, even. Hey! My ears aren't gonna scratch themselves. Get on it! So, I was summoning something out of one of the sand sized figurines here. A minion, if you will. And look! You showed up. Well, done, minion, you re right on time. What treats have you brought me? A festive collar perhaps? A bionic leg? A megaphone?
From atop the Warbeast, Dionne dismounts, and then waves to the man.
"Wait...who the heck is that? I'm Dionne, by the way."
"Ah, it's you. Good to see you again. What've you found out in the hells?"
'Sup Santa!
"Hello there! Heard of the Most Beautiful? He blessed me so any water I drink turns into alcohol! Quite nice!"How do you demonstrate that?
Demonstrate.
"Guy who you... Bullets...Is he? I thought he was just dead. He fell off the side of the warbeast, didn't he? Pyro's character?
...
Hmm.
Oh! Yes! That guy! He's braindead. I could trade him to you, body's still in good shape I think."
Talky.
"Can I eat your heart? Pretty pwease?"
"Hello there! Heard of the Most Beautiful? He blessed me so any water I drink turns into alcohol! Quite nice!"How do you demonstrate that?
Demonstrate.
"Excellent, sir! Would you be willing to part with this wonderful invention? It's for a good cause, I assure you."
If not, what does he want in return?
"Ah, forgive me. I forget where I am sometimes and what that truly means, how it affects even things like this. Perhaps you have more wizardly items with you, or something that aids my prowess with flames?"Now, do you need a fire source or are ya good on that front?
Sebastian climbs right in the handball. If he fits, and isn't immediately torn to pieces or trapped, he compliments his "minion" on his choice, and then carries the ball to a corner ofa room on the warbeast. If, on the other hand, he is torn to pieces, well, then he tries to not be dead. if trapped, he yowls loudly and repeatedly until freed.The ball is big enough for you to fit into easily, and once inside you are kept floating on a cushion of pets and scratches. It is quite nice.
"Excellent, sir! Would you be willing to part with this wonderful invention? It's for a good cause, I assure you."
If not, what does he want in return?
"Excellent, sir! Would you be willing to part with this wonderful invention? It's for a good cause, I assure you."
If not, what does he want in return?
Ryan salivates.
"You can have his legs!"
Hyenakles scratches his chin. "You have any necromantic stuff in that sack of yours?""I got a bag of zombie mice. Not entirely sure where I got those...or why. But I have em!"
Because that worked so well for me in that other game
"You happen to have any spare Bodies that I could stick my brain into? Being a crystal ball all the time gets old fast.""Whole spare bodies? Maybe. You looking for humanoid or something else?"
Dammit, PW. At least Redneck Alligator Santa is nice, and doesn't give me trapped presents.
"Neat, huh? Say, got anything that'll, uh, make me bigger? I find my size isn't really impressive right now, ya know what I mean?""I've got this one weird trick. Doctors hate it. But if you wanna grow, I gots some candy that will do ya. It don't last forever, but the effects are pretty good. Keep ya compact except when ya need to be big. Heh."
Accidentally ask for wrong thing
"That's not quite what I had in mind... Perhaps I should explain. I lost someone very dear to me recently. I want to rescuer them from whatever pocket of this hell they ended up in."
Talky
"I do have this cloak, and given how things have been proceeding I expect I'll be able to breathe fire at some point in the future."
"Well, are there any particular goods you have in stock, such as makeup? A lady's gotta keep herself looking fresh."I got a mask that changes appearance based on mood.
"Humanoid is good, but anything that has limbs and joints could work. Tentacles would take some getting used to, but that's half the fun of a new body, right? Hehehe.
I'll probably want something that looks impressive, and manufactured."
Talk.
Sebastian uses all his thoughtfulness, brain power, and curiousity to find a nice rich trade location for our visitor, pulling the information out of the aether - or out of a knowledge idol. Whichever. He then offers his 'insight' to his 'minion.' Saying[2]
You are the best minion ever, Gatermate! I mean, the pickings for minions hereabouts are kinda slim, but my doinosaur and dragon thingy are pretty okay. And that one guy helped me not die that once, so that was cool, too. anyway, you might want to look over yonder, around [insert whatever information Sebastian pulls out of the universe]. Lot's of good trade that way, I hear. Watch your back, though. You know how this place is.
"Ah, I know! You could have one of this chap's claws - they're like depleted uranium they are, you can chop through anything with them! In fact, they might actually be depleted uranium, I've never quite checked."
"Failing that, an unspecified favor of your choosing to be performed at any time at any cost to me or my compatriots? I could spill a little blood, sign a proper contract and everything?"
And if that's not to his liking, can I find anything worth appropriating for a bargain? Such as perhaps some spare parts from John. Or his gun if nobody's claimed it. Or really anything at all, I'm a bird with no pockets, I don't have high standards for wealth.
"You can have this thing!"
I had this one cool wrist watch in my "pockets" when I joined (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=151279.msg6294100#msg6294100) this crew. Probably should still have it around somewhere. Santa can have it. And the biggest idol in sight.
"Interested! Except... uh.. guess I don't have anything to trade. Unless you need a screwdriver? Or maybe one of these explode crystals?"Hm. I got a better one for ya. You swish some water in that snoot of yours and then spit it out for me. If it is booze, as ya say, I'll trade ya the gummies for a few barrels of your finest...Well its not moonshine...AH! I got it! Spitshine! HA!
Didn't we bring some spare explode crystals?
"One moment, please!"
See if John's gun can be found anywhere around here as well as any bullets it had. If yes, steal it and trade it in for the corpus jar plus something extra.
"No, not in meatspace. She was lost recently, in the chaos of battle- whether she actually died, I can't say for certain. Either way, she's bound to be around here somewhere, in some form, right?"
((I don't see how that result could posibly come from any roll but a 5.))Hey, you already started trouble outside of this christmas hammerspace. Give us time to enjoy the holidays, then I'll hurt everyone.
Welp. Have fun!
Sebastian pokes around for interesting idols, and attempts to probe the secrets of the beings they represent. He is interested in power levels, for one. How strong of a minion would he be able to call forth from an idol the size of a grain of sand, or a small pebble, or a four foot snakethrone.
"One moment, please!"
See if John's gun can be found anywhere around here as well as any bullets it had. If yes, steal it and trade it in for the corpus jar plus something extra.
"One moment, please!"
See if John's gun can be found anywhere around here as well as any bullets it had. If yes, steal it and trade it in for the corpus jar plus something extra.
"I don't have guns yet!"
Help the birdie at his gun looking task. Failing at that, find biggest idol I can carry and offer it instead.
Dianne looks thoughtful about the mask, tapping her head.He digs a featureless white mask out of the bag and hands it to you.
"Hmm, interesting. Could you show me the mask, please?"
Ask if I could actually go and see the mask.
"You got it. Let's try."Chug, chug, chug-spit.
Cooperate with his plan. Also take a swig or two while at it.
"What would you want in exchange?"
Yeah, but this time I was just checking to see what might happen before trying it. You know, a trailer video.((I don't see how that result could posibly come from any roll but a 5.))Hey, you already started trouble outside of this christmas hammerspace. Give us time to enjoy the holidays, then I'll hurt everyone.
Welp. Have fun!
Sebastian pokes around for interesting idols, and attempts to probe the secrets of the beings they represent. He is interested in power levels, for one. How strong of a minion would he be able to call forth from an idol the size of a grain of sand, or a small pebble, or a four foot snakethrone.
You gather up some more idols and stick them in a bag.Yeah, but this time I was just checking to see what might happen before trying it. You know, a trailer video.((I don't see how that result could posibly come from any roll but a 5.))Hey, you already started trouble outside of this christmas hammerspace. Give us time to enjoy the holidays, then I'll hurt everyone.
Welp. Have fun!
Sebastian pokes around for interesting idols, and attempts to probe the secrets of the beings they represent. He is interested in power levels, for one. How strong of a minion would he be able to call forth from an idol the size of a grain of sand, or a small pebble, or a four foot snakethrone.
Sebastian collects more idols of varying sizes, without poking them, then retires to his four foot snake statue throne until the rest of the Santa proceedings are complete.
"I have a plant that has minor healing and narcotic properties when you chew it's leaves. I also have some eyeball sand from the 88,888,888th hell if you're interested."
I can't entirely remember, but I'm fairly certain I never got rid of that bag of eyeball sand I took from the starting hell way back when. Would that be acceptable?
"I'd like to see that thang in action. May you put on the mask and test it for me?"
Ask the "trader" whether he could put on the mask himself and try it out.
Drape the boar pelt across my shoulders. If we're going down to the oasis, join the party.
((Someone might want to grab John's gun, since he's inactive.))
Drape the boar pelt across my shoulders. If we're going down to the oasis, join the party.
((Someone might want to grab John's gun, since he's inactive.))
((Closest thing I can find to any latter-day mention of it. He didn't pick it up, so I'd suppose it was still knocking around someplace.))
Keep looking!
"Hmm, that is true." Dionne turns to the rest of the group, holding up the mask. "Hey, who wants to try on this mask!HEY ANYONE GONNA DO THIS?!
Try convincing one of the others to wear the mask.
*Imperious meowing*King kitty has decided that his wretched subjects may live.
still chillin in my throne, observing my kingdom from on high. making grand gestures and lording over all I see - fellow crew, warbeast, idols, the sky, that little bit of fluff over there, the tip of my tail, whatever.
"Allow me one moment."Good enough. You trade the plant for the bag of shiny metal rectangles.
Go get the plant and bring it to Redneck Alligator Santa to examine. Should still be on the warbeast, I think.
What would I like? Hm.razorclaws. razorbeak. lazer eyes. Sonic shout. psychic blast juice. come on, be more specific, you.
Well, I guess I'd like something to help me hurt things. I'm kind of deficient on that front.
razorclaws. razorbeak. lazer eyes. Sonic shout. psychic blast juice. come on, be more specific, you.
Sure. Try putting it on the orb, then the skull, to see which of them works."Hmm, that is true." Dionne turns to the rest of the group, holding up the mask. "Hey, who wants to try on this mask!HEY ANYONE GONNA DO THIS?!
Try convincing one of the others to wear the mask.
Ryan stabs someone or something.Psychic bitchslap to the eyes.
What would I like? Hm.Howsabout a wingsword? Like wing armor, but it has a blade along the front so you can do sweet ass diving slices.
Well, I guess I'd like something to help me hurt things. I'm kind of deficient on that front.
Why not, try on the mask.
Do the booze thing. Do not offer to try on mask.
Ryan stabs someone or something.[3]
[6]Ryan stabs someone or something.Psychic bitchslap to the eyes.
Neat! do that again! You guys saw that, right? My minion can do kickass backflips! awesome!""That was obviously my mind bullets. Observe."
Sebastian applauds the deathclaw for it's obvious skill in acrobatics, telling everyone about how flexible and kickass he is.
"That would be brilliant! Wicked slices are absolutely my thing, good sir!"Yep, two bladed wing armor things. Be very careful not to face palm.
Accept this kind offer of some wingswords (if it is two, I feel it'd be a little impossible to fly with only one).
Neat! do that again! You guys saw that, right? My minion can do kickass backflips! awesome!"
Sebastian applauds the deathclaw for it's obvious skill in acrobatics, telling everyone about how flexible and kickass he is.
[2]Neat! do that again! You guys saw that, right? My minion can do kickass backflips! awesome!""That was obviously my mind bullets. Observe."
Sebastian applauds the deathclaw for it's obvious skill in acrobatics, telling everyone about how flexible and kickass he is.
Slap the cat.
"Wheeee!"[5]
Do stabby backflips again!
Uh eeeer one more thing before renewed pain happens and I skin Sebastian please
Firstly, Xan takes off the mask and gives it to Santa again. Secondly, he asks some last-minute questions.
"Any idea how much energy these things take to explode at this size and where I might be able to find more? Approximate Hell numbering or somesuch?"
"Many thanks! Enjoy the quality firearm!"The armor seems effective and doesn't slow you down even a bit; and these blades seem like they could do some real good damage, especially if you managed to catch someone in a vital part.
Take off into the sky to test my armor!
((OOC question, then; is there any way to change up the things I'm good / things I'm bad at part of my character sheet? I made that thing rather long ago now and I think both me and my floating, glassy character have become a bit more interested in kinetic violence. So do people's strengths and weaknesses change over time? Or might I ask this crocodile man for a thing to help "change my mind" about murdering peoples?))What were your old good and bads? And yes, you could change them, through various means.
((*eyes Alan in Special People* I know exactly what you mean.))((I have occasionally wanted to get into that game. It seems interesting, filled with my favorite forumgoers, and generally recommended. but, like ER and Life Begins at Death, I never know a good jumping on point, to a long running and popular game.))
Good singing and listening, Bad fighting and lifting. Now I'm starting to want to punch people in the guts through their ribs.Then you need a way to amplify your mind bullets.
"Do they give any particular indication when they're about to explode?"
I'm good to resume normal fuckery after this question. Wish Redneck Alligator Santa well on his perpetual trip across the afterlife.
"I AM SOLD. On that mask. How much is it?"Hm. Got any meat?"
Ask about the price of the mask.
Look for something stabbable and stab it. Gently, if it's a team mate.http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068545/
Look for something stabbable and stab it. Gently, if it's a team mate.http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068545/
I vote we butcher the deathclaw!"Mind...bullets? Well. Maybe. Problem is that the only thing I got is pills and you don't quite look equipped for that."
"Oh! One more thing, Redneck Alligator Santa. Do you have some way to amplify my mind bullets?"
Dionne waves her arms around frantically, calling out.
"Hey, anyone have meat? 'Cause I need some here."
Look for something stabbable and stab it. Gently, if it's a team mate.You gently poke the cat man.
"So do I eat this thing now or save it until I need it?"
Ask
((Re Special People: The arena mission is close to over, so now's probably a good time to jump in.))
Ask for one of those pills, I could probably liquefy it and inject it into my brain or something along those lines.If only there was some solution ~
Ask for one of those pills, I could probably liquefy it and inject it into my brain or something along those lines.I'll just give ya one.
a crab-like exoskeleton
Now, that isa fine looking minion! Hey fellas! Which of you dinosaur dragon thingies wants a rider! Which of you can shoot rainbows out of his eyes?You clap your hands in a fit of glee and immediately jump on dave's back.
Eyes aglow with excitement, Sebastian welcomes his new minion and encourages him to mount up on one of his other minions (the triceratops or deathclaw, I forget which is Dave and which is ... the other one) while Sebastian himself will mount up on the other in dramatic fashion.
((oh, I am laughing. Though disaster may befall, that was beautiful, and perfectly suited to Sebastian's attitude and expectations.))
"What the- Shit. No no no, not good.
Hello, lobster person! Kindly ignore the cat thing, it's simply deluded itself into thinking that it's summoned you. KTHNKSBYE."
Hide behind a nice rock or something.
You both run and hide under the beds in the crew area of the warbeast.Quotea crab-like exoskeleton
"Oh fuck no, not again. nopenopenope."
Hide behind Hue hiding behind a nice rock.
"OH GOD A SEA MONSTER"You, and by extention the cat thing who is on your back, run off and hide behind the pilot's chair of the warbeast.
Nope off to a far corner of the warbeast.
Circle and ponder whether eviscerating Sebastian would be more useful than attempting to go full can opener on the tentacle guy.[3]
Well, maybe that's not really necessary, considering he's got his rude tentacle out like that. But start working out an attack plan just in case anyway.
Xankarvo looks at the creature, then to Sebastian. Then back to the creature, then back to Sebastian. His lips press together tightly for a moment.[1]
"I'm going to skin you when this is over if it turns out as badly as I think it may."
He then turns to address the tentacle guy.
"Being from the idol! I am Xankarvo. Know our tongue, and we may communicate."
Hopefully if it's exposed to enough of our tongue it might learn it?
...
Ask my scarred cultists what they know of this place that might be relevant to the situation. Be ready to duck and run if the thing turns hostile.
Get the crab tentacle guy from the side - swoop down and sever his tentacle with a wingblade slash! If there's a spurt of blood, collect it for later use.[3]
No, no. Dave, you got it all wrong. this is not how to pose dramatically. You gotta stand tall and proud, and, most importantly of all, Visibly! They gotta see you. Now quit shaking, there is nothing to fear. This is but another minion. Guys, Guys! no need for that. We can get our new crewmate to demonstrate his skills on something else, you know!
Sebastian exhorts Dave to take a more assertive stance. He then moves back out to the front of the warbeast, back up onto his four foot idol, and addresses his special guest:
That was a good shot, minion. No, we can't call such a fine specimen as yourself minion. Let's see, a name suitable for a chitinous tentacled archer of some size ... Captain Crabmeat! Come on, Captain Crabmeat. That was a good shot, but you shouldn't attack the crew. They're on your side!
What are you looking at, Captain Crabmeat? Oh? Wonder where we are? This is the epicenter of my vast domain, so far. No, there are no hostiles here to shoot, but if we move along to the next area, we can find you plenty of targets. Plus, we're eventually going to cloud hell and hunting sky beetles, so there's that.
You want down?
The preceding conversation is in part an attempt to direct our guest's attention toward other parts of the superhell, mostly because Sebastian wants to go there, but also because it helps if our friends are not fighting each other.
Sebastian attempts to get the warbeast to raise a forepaw to offer our guest a ride down to the ground.
"Hmm. Proximity was the only trigger. I suspect it knows as little of here as we do."[2]
Take the arrow out of my foot and heal-cauterize the wound with my magical flame powers if it's bleeding badly. Don't initiate further hostility with the tentacle lobster dude.
openopenopenopen?
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING!"You pray and hide behind a rock. In reverse order.
Pray and hide behind something.
THAT TENTACLE HEAD LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING I WOLD LOVE TO BITE.[6]
"Can we kill the cat now?"
@Ao's character
That was a nice leap! You really got a good bite there.
"Well, that was fucking random. Can we kill the cat now?"[2]
Use spooky tk to remove arrow.
And slap the cat if it tries to move the warbeast. Not the right time.
"Do that, yes."[6]
One more time with the arrow removal business.
Land quizzically next to Xankarvo.You walk over to the unconscious Xan and stare down at him. After a few minutes you whisper
"That fellow really is quite something. Ah, would you need some help with that arrow, perhaps?"
If he can't seem to do anything about it himself, use my beak to break off the arrow from both ends around his foot until more detailed medical attention can be given.
If it doesn't care, then it is fresh dinner. Eat and enjoy![2]
"Can we kill the cat now?"
"I'd love to."
Emerge from hiding. Restrain Sebastian.
@Ao's character
That was a nice leap! You really got a good bite there.
Sebastian attempts to get the warbeast to follow the guy, and continues to yowl at his escaping minion (the usual nonsense) until either he responds, is out of sight, or Sebastian is restrained or distracted (or worse).
Come on, guys! Captain Crabmeat leads the way! Onward to adventure! Excitement! Foooooooood!
Not my best idea not my best idea not my best idea[5]
Wake up pls, I have questions for cat.
"Smashing, in a way."You waddle over and catch some blood in your jar and plant before xan wakes up. No use looking a gift horse in the mouth...or bleeding injury. Once he starts waking up you scuttle away with both treasures, giggling to yourself for no real reason.
Xan is presumably now bleeding heavily from the foot he ill-advisedly pulled an entire arrow out of. Collect a good bit of it in the corpus jar, and use about half on my lovely plant. It's the sort of blood you'd expect to rise in market value in the future, after all.
I should not allow my FAITH meatshield to bleed to death. Maybe do something out that foot.[2]
Can I get any sort of sense of the intentions of the minion? As in, what kind of goal is it pursuing? How about where it came from or what it's power source is?[1]
I wonder what else I could summon from afar? You think that I could summon that guy that helped me defeat the evil trees? It wou;d be no challenge at all to summon one of you fellows. Watch.
Summon Xan back to consciousness.
Now everyone give me a trinket - some kind of token of yourself, in case you get lost, so I can summon you right back when I need some menial task done.
Oh, and give me some token for the minion (Ryan! I finally discovered his name again) that's out there chewing on the other minion.
One more thing: is the grain of sand from which I summoned the guy still on deck? If so, i'll gather that up and pocket it.
"Everybody who doesn't have arms, get out of my way. "You press the cat's face right up against your face. Really just mash them both together. You have an extremely good view of him. Specifically up his nose but thats part of him.Toss Sebastian in the most convenient corner, and then locate our spare molotovs. Crack one open, use the alcohol to clean Xan's wound to the best of my ability, and then bandage it up with whatever spare cloth I can find that isn't my cloak.
Keep an eye on the cat.
*ROAR*[1]
Stab the tentacle repeatedly to find more penetrable spot and sink my teeths there. I'm so gonna eat this guy, even if it costs me my life.
You might want to see to that gaping wound there, Genghis Hyenakles remarks, as he lowers Sebastian to Xans eye level. The, ah... the buzzards are taking interest."
Feed some (but not all!) of my Xanblood to my beautiful plant so it can grow big and strong and magical. Watch like an excited child for any profound changes in its behavior.You water...well you blood your plant and then sit and watch it grow. After a few moments a tiny, pale white but sprouts up out of the dirt and grows up just enough to shoot out two little leaves that look like bony hands.
Dionne walks over to Xan, looking at his wound. "What the hell did you do to yourself? Here, let me help."[1]
Try to bandage Xan's wound or something.
I'll let you in on a little secret. Lean closer. Closer. Sebastian whispers conspiratorially Unicorns aren't real.[5] You squirm out of Hyenankle's grip and scamper away as Xan is once again incapacitated by attempts at first aid. You scuttle past the bird and hide under a bed in the crew quarters.
Sebastian will resist attempts to harm him and will attempt to escape when teammates become hostile.
"...time to test an old idiom."You spend the turn rolling around on the ground yelling at the universe for this current string of bad luck.
Do something really painful and fire-related but non-lethal to Mr. Whiskers here. To preempt possibly needed clarification: yeah magical, unless doing this regularly would have a lesser chance of failure. Not getting too fancy, that's for the imminent future.
Stay out of the way of friendly fire.
"There better not be any cat burning while I'm standing on a wooden platform and holding the damn thing. You wanna execute him, go ahead, but don't kill all of us in the process."You both stand around and watch as Xan rolls around the deck, dodging further bolder based attempts to heal his foot. It's fucking hysterical, to be honest.
If Xan appears to be doing anything recklessly stupid, Hyenakles will take whatever reflexive actions he can to avoid personally injury and/or another death.
"Wheee!" Ryan screams happily when sent into air. After failed landing he takes few seconds to gather his breath.[3]
"He's strong!" He's strong. "His heart is mine!" His heart is mine. I refuse to let such wonderful dinner away. Stabby stabby! Perhaps I even figure what I broke in the progress.
"Oh dear."Mmm tastes like peach schnapps.
Have a shot of water. Well, two.
Attempt to flip a table.[2]
"Idiots! Incompetent mooks! Brainless fools! You're all fired!"
Take my plant for a long-overdue walk while the other bastards on the warbeast work hard at killing themselves.You grab your plant and your jar of blood and you fly far away from the stupid people and their death spiral.
Xankarvo's a wizard. That means he spends a lot of time thinking, and despite being, well, Xan in a different form, he's very inclined to want to contemplate the beauty of the universe or whatever rather than outright destroy whatever he comes across. He likes knowing how things work, and why.
He does have just a bit of a temper, however. And sometimes it gets the better of him.
"RIGHT, THAT'S IT"
Commit a rather short-sighted decision. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GCSWEgZT94)
Summon a water demon!((Has anyone guessed Oz's power yet?))
Heck, why not. If we're gonna burn the house down, may as well have some drinks. Someone wanna bring some s'mores?
"Dammit, I said no cat-burning!"[6]
Maybe stop Xan before he kills us all?
((That was fast.))
So, the crew compartment is basically gone now, right?
"Why the hell did anyone do this?"You trot around and stamp out any remaining fires.
Get to damage control.
See if I can find a small drill and a syringe. I want to inject mind bullets into my brain.[2]
"Dinner! COME BACK AND LET ME EAT YOU!"[4]
(http://sirlancelot.pp.fi/images/Others/dinner.png)
Yell.
Take a look at where the tentacle man is going from my lofty heights. Keeping a straight heading or does he seem like he's just wandering around?He seems to be walking straight off towards the horizon but...well actually he just stopped.
*angry sleeping thoughts*[1]
Awaken as swiftly as is possible.
I should not have done that... I should not have done that.You heft Xan onto your shoulder and then dump him down on whats left of a bed, due to the lack of intact tables around here. You strap him down as best you can with some sheets. His wounds look to be just superficial cuts aside from his foot, which has clotted on its own by now.
"...right. Dinoman has the right idea. Let's clean up this mess."
Relocate Xankarvo to a table in one of the remaining buildings. Restrain him, just in case, and begin seeing to his wounds.
Dammit. Just lay around uselessly until we can go somewhere more interesting.Lying is hard for a ball, so I guess you spend your time rolling around and confusing the cultists.
"Allright!"[2]
Crawl over to the walking dinner table and have a feast, because god damn it, I'm gonna eat that motherfucker and grow big and adult!
I saved us again! I saved us from ourselves! I am truly the greatest hero ever! You doubted me, you thought I was a triviality, something to be ignored, brushed saside, or forgotten. but I showed everyone. I am Great. I am awesome! I am wonderful. I see the love and admriration in your eyes now. Yes, yes. We are going places, you guys and I. Great places. Places worthy of us. Geez, it's messy in here. You all ought to clean this place up.You mostly boast to Xan's cultists who politely nod and play along.
Sebastian boasts about his magnificence and swift thinking, and being the one thing that stands between the crew and .... well hellfire and destruction. Otherwise, he mostly stays out of the way.
((best pvp so far. I'm lucky to have survived, and hell, that was hilarious))
((Oh dear, the down spiral of my dice is beginning. I thought displaying more overtly Xannish behaviour would avert it, but I guess not.))[6]
Generic action that involves not dying and also waking up at some point in the very near future.
Check if it seems like Ryan needs air support. Try that aerial swipe thing again if yes - try to take an arm off, perhaps!He seems like he needs a crutch. Or a ride.
Wait for Xan to wake up.
Boy, a little competition for power and suddenly Xan is a spoiled little child throwing a tantrum.A wizard never tolerates competition! Though honestly if this had come about in a more non-collateral damage-inclined manner he wouldn't be so insistent on it - now he's focused on the possibility of using the idols as god grenades and doesn't care too much about what state Sebastian ends up in so long as he gives him the information.
"I just saved your life, pal. Maybe show some appreciation.""I rather question what you intended to save me from by bashing me in the skull, but I'll note that you had benevolent intentions in your actions. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go beat some information out of that overblown narcissist of a cat."
"Hyenakles? Well, that's a problem for later. Right now, that damn cat still hasn't answered my questions."
Sebastian doesn't need unbroken legs, does he? Let's fix that.
Pushing Sebastian into a corner, eh? Summon - in order - a very large crocodile, a flying unicorn, and whatever comes out of two sand grain sized idols.[4][3]Let all of them be distractionsAim the crocodile and the others at Xan while I ride away on the unicorn.
Perhaps you are asking the wrong questions!
Boy, a little competition for power and suddenly Xan is a spoiled little child throwing a tantrum.
Land near Ryan.You land next to the deathclaw and watch his actions. You wonder, vaguely, what his marrow tastes like. Seeing crawling injured animals always does that to you.
"I say, old chap. You seem to have a bit of trouble moving about," he observes in the cheery way you'd certainly expect of a vulture. "I'd say Mother Nature has big plans for you!"
Keep him company comfortably out of claw's reach, just in case. Nothing more comically harmless than a deathclaw with a broken leg.
"I just saved your life, pal. Maybe show some appreciation."No fires so far, just wrestling moves.
Watch Xan like a hawk. Won't have no fires on this hyena's watch.
I guess I just forgot that you almost exclusively play sociopaths.((I can't help it, even the regular people I play eventually devolve into them over time.))
"What, do you really think those wounds just closed up on their own?""What wound, my foot? I wouldn't be surprised after a certain point."
"Could try and stomp him with the warbeast then! Like eating a tortoise - first you have to crack the shell to get at the sweet meats inside."
Start delivering Ryan back to the warbeast to the best of my ability. Can I actually lift him?
Bite Xan hard. Whack him with a chair. Summon Ryan and Mr. Bird. Slip out of his leg lock, since it is located on my missing leg.
"Could try and stomp him with the warbeast then! Like eating a tortoise - first you have to crack the shell to get at the sweet meats inside."Yeah, he may be a death claw but he's pretty small.
Start delivering Ryan back to the warbeast to the best of my ability. Can I actually lift him?
Bite Xan hard. Whack him with a chair. Summon Ryan and Mr. Bird. Slip out of his leg lock, since it is located on my missing leg.
That wasn't a question! Well, the first part was, but it still wasn't the correct question!
6 vs 5I guess I just forgot that you almost exclusively play sociopaths.((I can't help it, even the regular people I play eventually devolve into them over time.))"What, do you really think those wounds just closed up on their own?""What wound, my foot? I wouldn't be surprised after a certain point."
Fortunately for both me and Ozarck, cats land on their feet. So throw Sebastian off the side of the warbeast. Can't have more powered shenanigans accidentally ripping my ride apart. What do you mean I'm arguably a bigger danger than he is?
[2]Bite Xan hard. Whack him with a chair. Summon Ryan and Mr. Bird. Slip out of his leg lock, since it is located on my missing leg.
((Ah, the ol' Schrodinger's Leglock.))
Take a sip or three of water to avoid the fight.
"Well, they seem rather busy. Suppose we should take care of the pursuit then."
See if I can jigger the warbeast into following the tentacled crabthing.
IT'S JOHN CENA!
*starts humming the theme song*
Run to the back of the warbeast.
Where'd John's body go again! I can't quite recall if we traded him away or not, but I think he had the gun. Go get that. If I happen to already have the gun on me for some reason, load it with one of my blood bullets.
QuoteTake a sip or three of water to avoid the fight.[2]
YOU KEEP DRINKING BUT IT DOESN'T MAKE THIS SITUATION ANY LESS STUPID! DRINK MORE!
((Whoops, forgot things that happened 5 seconds ago game time. Ah well, I know a deadlier weapon than a gun - abandonment!))Where'd John's body go again! I can't quite recall if we traded him away or not, but I think he had the gun. Go get that. If I happen to already have the gun on me for some reason, load it with one of my blood bullets.
"You looking for the gun, old chap? Pawned that a while ago to the charmingly rural reptilian, was quite the trade!"
I'm trying really hard to decide whether to edit my action or not.When PCs fight, everyone regrets it. Although this is hilarious for me, even though I didn't really want to get into this particular situation.
I just know I will regret it if I do.
PW, where does Sebastian get power from? Don't tell me somebody started taking him seriously?are you kidding? Xan considers him a threat, and half the team ran and hid from that battle, fully expecting something bad to happen. they know Sebastian is not ... safe, exactly.
Oh I'm all for keeping him around if we can work it, I like having him around and I'm not wanting him to have to be booted out the party just on account of him being troublesome.
"Well, they seem rather busy. Suppose we should take care of the pursuit then."
See if I can jigger the warbeast into following the tentacled crabthing.
[6]"Well, they seem rather busy. Suppose we should take care of the pursuit then."
See if I can jigger the warbeast into following the tentacled crabthing.
"Yes! Plop it open like a tortoise! What's a tortoise?"
Or maybe guide warbeast into stomping on the crabthing so juicy meat will burst out.
Love me, hate me, I will always be me!IT'S JOHN CENA!
*starts humming the theme song*
Absorb the energy of the crowd! Exult in the cheering of the masses, and the very memetic reactions to our performance! Gain protagonist strength from the cliffhanger (Or, warbeasthanger) and come back, stronger than before.If Xan presses the assault, dodge and let him fall dramatically, like the movie villain he so chooses to be. Summon a monstrosity to eat Xan, since he is intent on killing Sebastian.
Sebastian sits down and licks his forepaw, ear twitching. he then goes to tell Dave the mighty and Ryan the very large about the Epic Battle - including their own valiant parts as Heroic Monster Chaser away and Noble Steed.
"Will you shut up for one second and tell me how you summoned that entity? Actually, given your recent feat just now it's likely that it's just the result of you gaining some measure of potency from your own incessant boasting. No use in that case. You will shut up or abandon this vessel."Where'd John's body go again! I can't quite recall if we traded him away or not, but I think he had the gun. Go get that. If I happen to already have the gun on me for some reason, load it with one of my blood bullets.
Never mind, as I apparently can't remember stuff. Instead, just go back to the helm bit of the warbeast, not paying the least bit of attention to Sebastian.
[2]QuoteTake a sip or three of water to avoid the fight.[2]
YOU KEEP DRINKING BUT IT DOESN'T MAKE THIS SITUATION ANY LESS STUPID! DRINK MORE!
Best idea I've heard today!
PW, where does Sebastian get power from? Don't tell me somebody started taking him seriously?You all are. Not revereance but you certainly believe he has power, if only the power to make things go horrifically wrong.
boooooolll sheeeeeettt. The first time I ever saw him doing something that wasn't obviously just Infinite Empire using him as a puppet was him summoning crab man.((Funnily enough Xan doesn't even think that summoning the crab thing was a power Sebastian had, he just figured it's a thing anyone can do and that the cat stumbled on it by accident. He can clearly do something what with the pulling the chair out of thin air, but that's about it far as I can tell.))
((Oh, I can't do much about that, since that would require denying objective reality, something I'm not strong enough to do yet. I can do, however, is exploit that fact for my own gain.))The cat can do almost anything...so long as it makes your lives more difficult or dangerous.
"It's too bad, really," Xankarvo continues. "I could have shown you how to control whatever paltry gift you're developing, but I suppose with the current path you're taking you're simply doomed to an agonizing, mewling, pathetic death as your own soul rips itself apart. I'll enjoy watching that, at the least."
Say this nice and loudly, to sow the seeds of doubt. Then go head up to the helm, see where we're going. We need to stop so I can retrieve some of these idols and unlock their secrets.boooooolll sheeeeeettt. The first time I ever saw him doing something that wasn't obviously just Infinite Empire using him as a puppet was him summoning crab man.((Funnily enough Xan doesn't even think that summoning the crab thing was a power Sebastian had, he just figured it's a thing anyone can do and that the cat stumbled on it by accident. He can clearly do something what with the pulling the chair out of thin air, but that's about it far as I can tell.))
How does the engine spirit know this is a poor idea? Grill it for info.I'm guessing the engine spirit saw the thing, recognized it's power, and kinda extrapolated from there.
Oh, and keep stomping the tentacle crabman for bit. See if that makes him less mobile.
boooooolll sheeeeeettt. The first time I ever saw him doing something that wasn't obviously just Infinite Empire using him as a puppet was him summoning crab man.I mean more the fact that everyone has a habit of running from or blaming him for things. Perhaps a perfectly valid and correct habit, but your actions reveal a faith of sorts.
((Oh, I can't do much about that, since that would require denying objective reality, something I'm not strong enough to do yet. I can do, however, is exploit that fact for my own gain.))You discover pretty quickly whats going on. Mainly due to the deathclaw's constant screaming about it.
"It's too bad, really," Xankarvo continues. "I could have shown you how to control whatever paltry gift you're developing, but I suppose with the current path you're taking you're simply doomed to an agonizing, mewling, pathetic death as your own soul rips itself apart. I'll enjoy watching that, at the least."
Say this nice and loudly, to sow the seeds of doubt. Then go head up to the helm, see where we're going. We need to stop so I can retrieve some of these idols and unlock their secrets.boooooolll sheeeeeettt. The first time I ever saw him doing something that wasn't obviously just Infinite Empire using him as a puppet was him summoning crab man.((Funnily enough Xan doesn't even think that summoning the crab thing was a power Sebastian had, he just figured it's a thing anyone can do and that the cat stumbled on it by accident. He can clearly do something what with the pulling the chair out of thin air, but that's about it far as I can tell.))
How does the engine spirit know this is a poor idea? Grill it for info.
Oh, and keep stomping the tentacle crabman for bit. See if that makes him less mobile.
"CRUSH IT!"Because he was around to see xan get shot and you fail to attack. He's extrapolating chances of future success compared to past failure.
As soon as crab stomping is over, get myself moved down to ground to see how edible are its remains.
((God, I thought summoning Tentacrab was going to create a situation in which the team was severely mauled all around. And then it ignored everyone, more or less, and started walking away. and then, the rest of the team proved me right after all.))You walk over to whats left of the crew cabin and hide under some debris.
Sebastian, the soul of fame itself, recognizes a troll when he hears one, and is unfazed.
Awww, don't be like that, buddy. We've been having some great adventures together. Dinosaurs, musicians, and drama! It's like a musical, only better, because we're going to eat sky bugs! Ain't that right Ryan! Ryan?
Sebastian braces for the after effects of Senior Stompy's Wonderful Misadsventure in Antagonizing Abominations.How does the engine spirit know this is a poor idea? Grill it for info.I'm guessing the engine spirit saw the thing, recognized it's power, and kinda extrapolated from there.
Oh, and keep stomping the tentacle crabman for bit. See if that makes him less mobile.
Dave noticed things were moving, more so than from the booze. "Hey, where we going?"You poke your head through the rails and look out just in time to see the crab man, scurry out of under the warbeast's foot, running around in a very odd configuration thanks to its ball jointed limbs. As soon as it gets out, it braces itself with two arms on one side and uses the other two to draw its bow and many arrows.
Look over the side and observe.
You'd think wing armor would help against being hit by a feckin' arrow.[2]
Oh well, break off the shaft of the arrow and see how that affects my ability to get around.
"YEAARARRHGHGHAHGH FUCKING SEA MONSTERRRRRRSSSSSSSSS"
Damage control. That probably means run, scream, and take cover, but if there's an option for first aid, that works too.
((One of the stones is down on the ground, at the base of one of the larger statues. I don't know beyond that.))[5]
PW, I think you missed Hyenakles for that "don't get impaled" roll.
Hyenakles will shoot the crab bastard in its smug lack of face.
"Free arrows! Score!""Line of sight" is difficult to guess on something that has no eyes.
Loot the arrow that was shot at me. Then test if it could be used as a drill by trying to make a hole in the wooden building.
And also funk out of lobsterguy's line of sight.
Sebastian remains under cover, patiently waiting as the preliminary combat winds up, and power levels begin to rise. HE fully expects his 'minion' to swing a little harder than mere arrows, so he watches carefully, but from shelter.Cowering continues.
Xan's face is not amused.You tell the engine spirit to head for the mountain sized totems in the distance and not to listen to literally anyone but you. He seems to agree, somewhat.
"Engine spirit, set a course for us away from that entity while not wholly exiting this particular sub-hell. Additionally, you will no longer accept commands from anyone except myself, the glass orb, or anyone authorized by myself. Understood?
Use fire to incinerate any arrows that are about to impale me, but otherwise do nothing.
"I say, that's quite the arrow," Mr. Bird comments in between bouts of trying to break the shaft with his beak.
Well, keep trying. There's got to be some way to get myself free.
"I'll help you get free, mighty flying stallion! Let's fly, you fool!"
"Aww. Oh! free harpoon!"[6]
Go unhook the chain from the harpoon. Supposedly there's a way to accomplish this, because having a super long chain permanently attached to your harpoon would be very inconvenient if you wanted to store or fight with the thing.
"I say, that's quite the arrow," Mr. Bird comments in between bouts of trying to break the shaft with his beak.
Well, keep trying. There's got to be some way to get myself free.
"I'll help you get free, mighty flying stallion! Let's fly, you fool!"
If Bridman agrees to let Sebastian ride him away from this particular trouble, Sebastian will pull the arrow free for him and then leap to his back for aerial adventure!
Otherwise, Sebastian will ask the engine spirit to lower him on the opposite side from crabman so he an cower in a more stable location.
[1]"I'll help you get free, mighty flying stallion! Let's fly, you fool!"
"Oh, wonderfully helpful of you, little chap! But don't bloody well pull it out, you understand?"
Permit assistance and serve as mount for the foolish little thing if I'm successful.
Drunken defensive actions that don't matter because I'll roll a 2 again anyway[5]
Run for cover. I ain't dying here.[6]
Children of the Most-Beautiful! I suggest you take cover near me. I will protect you with my cloak of flame in order to keep my compact with your progenitor.You look around but if the sand grain is still around, which it might not be, you can't find it. So you hand your group a note that you wrote on...something.
Look around for the sand-sized idol the crab guy initially got summoned out of. Is it still on the deck someplace?
Write a note.
More shooting.[3]
"Huh. I wonder - the Law of Numerous Mooks dictates that the lone opponent is, in fact, the Hero and will inevitably succeed against said Mooks. I suppose I, as Primary Antagonist, shall met my fate at the Climax, probably by falling dramatically off the warbeast. Fortunately for me, I am the Unkillable Antagonist, and as such, will claw my way out of the rubble in the closing credits. Unless I escape early while the Dragon meets his fate. Which of you is The Dragon?"
Hand the group the note? Nah, that's just going with the other ones I have in case I have to use the shell of wishing. I forget what exactly I was writing on, but I had paper from something, I know. And I started with that pen from the beginning of the game.I gave you the notebook I had from character creation, right after we got the shell.
[1]
The deathclaw baby yanks the arrow out of one wing, trips, and drives it straight through the other wing.
Dream drunken dino dreams.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0K-Z2H_8vo
"Hah! Did you think that would work?!"[6]
Loot the spear still stuck in the warbeast. Swing it around a little to test if it has any special properties.
"The Law of Improbable Unfortunate Occurrences dictates that you are the Comedic Relief, Mr. Bird! If i try to help you now, we'll both meet an unfortunate end. There, there, my fellow. We'll patch you up in the denouement.
Huh. I wonder - the Law of Numerous Mooks dictates that the lone opponent is, in fact, the Hero and will inevitably succeed against said Mooks. I suppose I, as Primary Antagonist, shall met my fate at the Climax, probably by falling dramatically off the warbeast. Fortunately for me, I am the Unkillable Antagonist, and as such, will claw my way out of the rubble in the closing credits. Unless I escape early while the Dragon meets his fate. Which of you is The Dragon?"
Sebastian believes that Mr. bird's wounds are "just flesh wounds" and as such, rather harmless. Meanwhile, he returns to the crew quarters rubble and fetches his handball.
Hand the group the note? Nah, that's just going with the other ones I have in case I have to use the shell of wishing. I forget what exactly I was writing on, but I had paper from something, I know. And I started with that pen from the beginning of the game.[5] You free mr. bird.
"You make the mistake of assuming this is a story, my glass orb. It is not. Stories have arcs, rises and falls, beginnings and ends. These heavens are infinite in scope. There is no room for an end to my story, and therefore yours, in the vast infinitudes of this plane. The only absolute, the only thing of any tangible value, is the one I will inevitably grasp at the center. On my own blood, my own self I swore this. That could perhaps be a story. But not this obstacle. It has already been forgotten.
Continue the current path away from the crab thing for about a minute more and then see if it's following us.
Oh, I should probably help the bird. Go do that.
Sorry, brain fart I suppose. As such, I'm gonna let you climb up, no rolls needed, in spite of your broken leg.[1]
The deathclaw baby yanks the arrow out of one wing, trips, and drives it straight through the other wing.
Baby deathclaw did nothing of the sort. In fact, he's been hanging on warbeast's side with broken leg a while, so Ryan climbs up and complains how they let his dinner get away.
"Where did the crabman come anyway?"
"Bloody useless little bastard," Mr. Bird mutters.Xan frees you from your predicament. What a nice insane power mad wizard he is.
Keep working at that arrow. Not really anything else to do, is there?
Alright! So lets dig out the map....We travel now.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
So...where to?
Sure, let's go see the big gods. ((The handball was that gift from the crocodile man - the ball that Sebastian can crawl into to be petted infinitely if he wishes.))ah, by handball I thought you meant handball. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handball)
Sleep through the travel montage.*gurgle*
Cautiously get out of my hiding place.You crawl out of hiding and look around. Everything appears safe. Man, your life has been one session of hiding after another lately.
Alright, let's get a more detailed description of this harpoon first. Bit of metal on a stick? Bit of chitin on a chitin? Flaming anger rod? Something's severed penis?Its shaped something like a 4 sided, upside down Christmas tree, at least the "Blade" part. Looking straight down at it, it looks like a "+" and each side has several large barbs to keep it caught in the flesh of whatever it hits. The blade itself looks to be made out of some kind of silver metal mixed with black veins, while the shaft is pinkish red with an organic-looking pattern carved into it to act as a grip.
Alright! So lets dig out the map....We travel now.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
So...where to?
Looking at the map and remembering what was said about places, Dead Silence seems ... well, I could endure it but maybe not my Most-Beautiful guys. Therefore, head north from wherever we are until we get to the Domain of the Mount King. We're aiming to eventually get to the Black Sun Cultso I can subjugate themso I think heading north from there will be alright until we hit something worthy of attention.
While we're montaging, I believe John had a book on him about blood rituals before he went comatose. See if I can't find it and start reading.
Also, Imma try to create a sort of character sheet I can keep track of in between posts since Comrade's gone and therefore the wiki's not super up to date anymore. Probably edit it in.Spoiler: Xankarvo (click to show/hide)
Unscrew or otherwise detach the javelin head, and test it on some wood to see if It's a passable drill.[2]
Am I fully healed up from the trip?[3]
Make sure that my plant is blooded thoroughly with the replenishing Xanblood of my corpus jar.Spoiler: Mr. Bird (click to show/hide)
Sebastian climbs out to the front of the warbeast, where he is in as full view of the 'people' that are watching, and shouts: "Greetings, Fellow Beings, and denizens of the Hall of this rather industrious-looking place! We have come to make your lives interesting! Come, tell us your tales, and we will tell you ours. They are pretty neato, our stories. Especially mine. Butdon't let that intimidate you! We welcome stories of all kinds, and will spread news of your exploits, whoever small, far and wide!"[4]
You talking about Xan, or yourself? (https://static-cdn.jtvnw.net/emoticons/v1/25/1.0)I invite other characters to participate. if none do, the foolishness that Sebastian incites affects mainly him. If, on the other hand, someone unilaterally dictates where we go, when, and how, well, that's a different thing. Sebastian has no control over anything external to himself. He is a weaker character than even your limbless orb.
Pop my mind-bullet-pill into the mouth of my talking skull, just in case that works.
Ryan! Dave! You two are the biggest ones here.
Now, at last, we have an audience. You, Fire guy! Make with the flames and put on a show, will ya? These people look starved for entertainment. let's impress 'em. Someone put on some music! Something with a beat! Ryan! Dave! You two are the biggest ones here. Come up and wave for the nice people. That'll impress them for sure![1] Hmm. [4]
Sebastian encourages the crew to put on a performance for the people, hyping their various stats - especiallly Dave and Ryan's size, what's 'er name's musical talent, Xan's flashiness, and the Bird and Orb's aerial acrobatics. Meanwhile, he continues his schtick for the audience, telling the Tale of the Evil Forest, the Epic duel of the Angry Fire Wizard and the Summoner of Calming Waters (at which point he preens a bit), and the many mighty beings he has brought forth to enrich the world with their unique talents and passions.
Fake Edit: You know, the usual bullshit.
"Seventy Five golden camels! Fabulous, Joan! Love the Camels!"
"No."[6]
Head down from the warbeast and approach the people. Ask if they have a leader of any kind, and if they do I'd like to speak to them.Spoiler: Xankarvo (click to show/hide)
You talking about Xan, or yourself? (https://static-cdn.jtvnw.net/emoticons/v1/25/1.0)You head to the ground along with Xan.
Pop my mind-bullet-pill into the mouth of my talking skull, just in case that works.
Also follow Xanny.
Dave knew an opportunity when he saw one.[4]
Feats of strength, go!
Does the skullfruit look edible and ripe? If yes, pick it with my beak and see if it's any good.[2]
If not, climb up to a high place and survey the area for now.
[2]QuoteRyan! Dave! You two are the biggest ones here.
Be offended. Glare at Cat. Glare at Xan. Follow Xan anyway. Try to look intimidating. Keep an eye out for things that need shooting and/or running away from.
Fakeedit: You know, the usual bullshit.
Help perform. Nothing is better than being in front of an adoring audience![3]
Upon request Ryan hobbles on visible spot on the warbeast and shouts with his adorable voice:
"Hello people! I'm hungry!"
[6]Upon request Ryan hobbles on visible spot on the warbeast and shouts with his adorable voice:
"Hello people! I'm hungry!"
Hey!
Hmm. Since this thing is so very big, perhaps I should back up a bit to give it room.
And by a bit, I mean a moderate distance, enough that I can quickly get back to the warbeast if need be. Then wait for the mount king to emerge.
"Yes. It's not like I'm showing up here to attempt to usurp them or somesuch. Just speaking to this King is enough."
Hover over Xannette's shoulder and hum a suitably fiery tune.
Also back off.Part of the mountain folds open, bricks curling back as though there are hinges between them, an enormous human arm, from shoulder to hand, reaches out of the hole. And enormous, well, that really doesn't even begin to describe it. The thing is big enough to grab the war beast like you might grab a hamster. It looms up in front of you like a cobra, fingers spread and flexing. As you watch, its palm splits and a single giant eye emerges wetly from the gash. It stares at you, blankly.
"I AM DIONNE. ADORE ME!"[6]
Continue performing.
Stand atop my lofty perch and eagerly await Xan getting rekt by the natives. Strike an impressive bird pose.
Enough showing off; don't want to look like a douche. Let's observe for now.
"Ooh, that guy must have eaten a lot to grow so big! I'm jealous!"
;) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CwunhXOvbM&feature=youtu.be&t=8s)"Ooh, that guy must have eaten a lot to grow so big! I'm jealous!"
"You know what they say, little friend - he's huge, that must mean he has huge guts!"
"Ooh, that guy must have eaten a lot to grow so big! I'm jealous!"
"You know what they say, little friend - he's huge, that must mean he has huge guts!"
"Nope"You roll back under the bed.
Duck and cover!
Resist urge to cower, because there's nowhere to hide. Try to look stoic?[3]
Dionne finally stops dancing, and runs to take coverYou join The dinosaur under the bed. This is becoming quite the social spot.
"Interesting."[6]
Xankarvo turns to the warbeast.
"Warbeast spirit Xan! Repeat what I say!"
He then turns back to the fucking gigantic cyclops arm.
"Greetings, Mount King! I am Xankarvo, a wizard of considerable might, travelling through these lands on an ongoing quest to seek the First Heaven! I ask but one question: do any of your subjects wish to accompany me on this journey to seek the ultimate fundament?"
Warbeast-assisted talky time.
"Hey there. Do you have a hand drill I could borrow? For reasons."[1]
Talk to the big ass-hand.
Stand Proudly on my four foot idol, and stare back at the eye. Absorb all the attention. At last, an audience worthy to gaze briefly upon the edges of my awesomeness.[2]
"Hahahah! Well played, ye giant bastard, well played!"
Step forth and look the mountain in the eye.
"I say! Would you be this Mount King we've been told about, or just one of his brawnier servants? You wear the mountain well in either case!"
Try to establish communication with the large fellow.
"Well, bugger. Don't suppose you could just eat those two idiots as opposed to us all, could you?"He can carry me down, but I refuse to be his cushion.
If it doesn't seem like it's in the mood for discussion, grab Ryan and try to glide down to the surface (and if that doesn't work, use Ryan to cushion my fall). Injured limb crew sticks together, them's the rules.
"JESUS HELP US ALL."
Scream under the bed.
((WELP))"Hmm"
Back to the warbeast folks, and get that 'escape to the edge of the heaven' note ready. If the hand looks about to squish me, use it.Spoiler: Xan (click to show/hide)
"Fuck youuuuuuu!"[3]
Hit myself on the ground just hard enough to fracture the glass, shove mind-bullet pill into my brain.
"JESUS HELP US ALL."
Scream under the bed.
"I agree with this guy!"
Hope to not die.
"JESUS HELP US ALL."The under the bed, terrified of death party voices some strong opinions about current actions. They put forth a request for jesus to save them. Jesus spends the next 10,000 years filibustering.
Scream under the bed.
Action post: Survive the round. Await further developments.You join the Under the Bed Party.
Scratch that, let's cower. Crouch behind one of the massive bricks leading up to the mountain, hopefully putting myself out of the eye's line of sight. Squish myself as far into the corner between the brick and the ground as I can.
Here's a very scientific diagram of what I have in mind:Spoiler (click to show/hide)
"Well, bugger. Don't suppose you could just eat those two idiots as opposed to us all, could you?"[1]
If it doesn't seem like it's in the mood for discussion, grab Ryan and try to glide down to the surface (and if that doesn't work, use Ryan to cushion my fall). Injured limb crew sticks together, them's the rules.
"Everyone who wishes to live will climb out on the warbeast's hand before the Mount King crushes you. Most-Beautiful's followers, this includes you. Now. I suggest hanging onto me."Hey xan pants, I think you forgot the thing where it takes the people a bit to get started and do this shit? The Most Beautiful told you this.
If I have time before big hand go squishy squish or droppy drop, write in a short extension to 'get me to outside of Heaven' note to include anyone touching me and also the warbeast spirit thingy. Then put note in shell and crush shell. If I don't have time, just save me.
((I suppose Sebastian could attempt to summon a really big spiked ball in the giant hand's fist. Might be problematic though, considering that's where the warbeast is.))No worries, I've got an !!idea!!
I never got on the warbeast. Nopenosiree.[2]
Move sideways, away from the giant hand's front. Look around the city for signs that might point towards a shop.
"I'm sure they can figure out their differences on their own."The only people around are those in the windows a few stories up from the ground. And those strange, ghostly beings seem to lack any sort of emotion at all, judging from their faces. They are defintely focused on the warbeast right now though, so they're significantly less ill-disposed about YOU comparatively.
Were there any people about? See if they're ill-disposed to us at all.
Sebastian climbs the hand. Can't squish or hurl violently into the ground what clings to your back. He then addresses the crowd once more:[6]
as you can see, ladies, gentlemen, guests and friends! We merry travelers sure do make for some great entertainment! Singing! Dancing! Interacting with teh mighty and abominations alike! We do it all1 Wonders? Adventures? Excitement? You name it! We bring it! We have warriors! we have acrobats! We have illusionists and prestidigitators! Be amazed! be astounded! Be entertained! All we ask in return is a small fee. Negligible really! Anything works. Just place it in a pile near the stage. We'll collect it after the show!
Sebastian attempts to attrct as much attention as possible.
[Hyenglish oaths][6] The closest cloudwall is the one between this hell and the one you were just in, the idol henge. So you sprint that way. Its not a long run at all. Only a few hundred feet really and you suddenly find yourself back in that hell, very much out of breath.
While the hand thing is busy killing everybody, drop to all fours and make a break for the nearest cloud wall.Spoiler: possibly relevant stats (click to show/hide)
Try to help build the flame. I WANT TO LIVE.
"This is insaaaaane!"
Tag along, but take a few sips of water and spit them into the flame to hopefully increase the amount of fire.
First thought was abandoning ship, but it's a couple hundred feet up, and I doubt birdman can carry me down.
Now the question is simple.((I suppose Sebastian could attempt to summon a really big spiked ball in the giant hand's fist. Might be problematic though, considering that's where the warbeast is.))No worries, I've got an !!idea!!
I have returned! Both from the depths of my psyche and from various errands. Time to enact a probably-stupid action that is nonetheless less stupid than what I accidentally did. Or perhaps far more stupid, but fuck it, if I'm dying I'm going out killing everything in the vicinity.
Firstly, grab Engine Spirit, seeing as one way or another the warbeast probably won't exist for much longer. Put the 'annihilate everything in the vicinity' note in the shell, though don't crush it. If I die via squishy or droppy, it'll probably break and thus activate it anyway, so post-mortem revenge will be got.
Then attempt an Act Of Faith: set everything (and I mean everything around me not me, the engine spirit, or the various books and other things I have) on fire, and channel that flame to burn the fuck out of the hand thing. While also not harming ... well, anyone who believes in me, particularly the most-beautiful dudes. My Fires Protect The Faithful or whatever. Hopefully this'll burn up some of the flesh of the hand, which I can then gain power from and use it to further burninate it.
Hopefully the most-beautiful guys start singing a song about me to help or something, I need as much faith as I can get for this.
*insert clip from Fire by Arthur Brown here*
((I'm not a player, but I believe in Xan's abilities of intentional and/or unintentional mass destruction and/or distraction. Plus his tendency to overshoot.((Me too.))
EDIT: And I really like fire and explosions. I don't know if that counts for anything.))
"BIRDMAN! HEEEEEELP!"
((I imagine Sebastian like a deranged raider in a mad max movie, shouting "Witness me!" and laughing maniacally while riding the burning hand of a giant monster.))It's kinda his sad little lot in life. Well, in this case, it's his totally pretty fucking awesome lot in life. Ride the lightning, little guy, ride the lightning. or, the giant burning fist with an eye in it. Whichever.
"Seriously? Well, rip those guys."
Go talk to one of those ghost people.
Sebastian grandstands on top of the hand.[3]
Hyenakles climbs onto a medium sized nearby statue, and attempts to get his bearings. What can I remember of the map?
Shout (crow?) helpful instructions on how to fly or at least glide convincingly to the rapidly incoming people.[5]
The secret, you see, is to land on a great soft bit of gently roasted warbeast flesh.
((Called it))Hold on to him or land on him? Well, we'll go with whatever his dice allow.
"BIRDMAN! HEEEEEELP!"
Appeal to avian friend for help. Failing that, try to land on something soft. EDIT Yeah going with Xan seems like a plan
((XAN DICE AVAST))[4]
Quickly, use my fire cape to fly! Turn it into a pair of wings temporarily or use it as a parachute or something.
It totally works that way, shut up.
"Woo! How can tiny fireman be stronger than big hand?! Amazing!"You hobble over to the big arm and start nipping at it as best you can. It doesn't really seem to notice, unsurprisingly.
Be amazed down behind the rock. If tiny Xan can do it, then even smaller me can do it better! Hobble to the arm and stab and bite!
Try to find a safe way off the Warbeast. Failing that, JUMP.
Cats are notoriously good at falling and not dying. Sebastian will attempt to summon another water demon to put out the hand fire. failing that, he'll leap. He'll try to jump past the fire onto lower parts of the arm before continuing in a gentle descent, but even if he free falls, he'll simply land and scamper for safety in a bolt-hole of some kind.[5]
Dream non-drunken dino dreams. For once.You dream of eating a large fern.
Is there something wrong with my teeths? There must be something, otherwise I wouldn't be so ineffectual at eating things. Find closest fleshy teammate and bite them to test my theory.You're mostly ineffectual because you're chewing on a creature with skin a foot and a half thick or more.
"No talking? You have. Hand drill?"[3] You float up and try to get through the window but the ghost person matches you, floating up and keeping their big unemotional face right in front of you.
Go into a window and look around the inside for a hand drill, medical syringe, or mortar and pestle.
"Welcome to the broken legs club, Mr. Xankarvo! There's a good lad!"You grab yourself more blood. Delicious delicious blood. Your first bone fruit is done!
Harvest some of Dave's blood while he's out and use it to blood my plant some more. Use Ryan as a helpful bloodletting tool if he's not bleeding enough to take advantage of (also provide Xan with some corpus jar blood, details below).
Try to find a safe way off the Warbeast. Failing that, JUMP.
Try to grab or jump on to Xan, as per the suggestion.[1]
I meant this map:You can remember that map, sure.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Use my own blood to heal me instead then[6] FUCKING XAN DICE
"I need new teeths.""You are forbidden from biting me on pain of death. I will grant you better teeth if you swear yourself wholly to me."
"Hey you, wizard." Ryan says while poking Xan with his sharp claws. "Make me new better and sharper teeths!"
"Ah, fine then.
...Wait, they survived?"
Return to xan.
"Hey babe, you grew a third leg?"
"Hey babe, you grew a third leg?"
"Hey babe"
babe"I CAN SEE THAT YOU'VE WHOLLY ABANDONED YOUR PLAN TO IMITATE A SILENT HAEMONCULUS YOU IRREVERENT FISHBOWL THANK YOU FOR THE AMAZING OBSERVATION THAT YES I HAVE SPROUTED A THIRD LEG."
Welp, I'm dead. Thanks for allowing me to take part in this game.Hope you had fun. Feel free to come back again.
Xankarvo's not filled with an excess of calm right now."I need new teeths.""You are forbidden from biting me on pain of death. I will grant you better teeth if you swear yourself wholly to me."
"Hey you, wizard." Ryan says while poking Xan with his sharp claws. "Make me new better and sharper teeths!"
"Very well."Xankarvo's not filled with an excess of calm right now."I need new teeths.""You are forbidden from biting me on pain of death. I will grant you better teeth if you swear yourself wholly to me."
"Hey you, wizard." Ryan says while poking Xan with his sharp claws. "Make me new better and sharper teeths!"
"I swear myself wholly to you! Can you fix my leg too? It hurts and makes it hard to move."
"Ah, fine then.You return to Xan and use some rubble to make suggestive Eyebrows.
...Wait, they survived?"
Return to xan.
"Hey babe, you grew a third leg?"
Wake up? This dream sucks.You wake up. You are delighted to find that you are not only alive, but also uninjured, besides a headache.
Eat my first bone fruit! Is it as good as actual bone?Its actually better. The fruit is a thin crunchy skin of bone with nothing inside but marrow. You Gobble it up happily while watching Xan have a melt down.
Ride the water elemental to the ground. Hopefully, it spreads out a little and glides, or is able to skitter down the arm before said arm pulls us into the underworld.[1]
Xankarvo's not filled with an excess of calm right now.[5]"I need new teeths.""You are forbidden from biting me on pain of death. I will grant you better teeth if you swear yourself wholly to me."
"Hey you, wizard." Ryan says while poking Xan with his sharp claws. "Make me new better and sharper teeths!""Ah, fine then.
...Wait, they survived?"
Return to xan.
"Hey babe, you grew a third leg?""Hey babe, you grew a third leg?""Hey babe"babe"I CAN SEE THAT YOU'VE WHOLLY ABANDONED YOUR PLAN TO IMITATE A SILENT HAEMONCULUS YOU IRREVERENT FISHBOWL THANK YOU FOR THE AMAZING OBSERVATION THAT YES I HAVE SPROUTED A THIRD LEG."
He takes several deep breaths.
"Where are the Most-Beautiful tribesmen? If they're still alive, healing them will be easier."
Sacrifice the tripod leg I just grew (or just the foot of it perhaps, whatever I can get away with really so long as I don't burn away my actual leg) to heal Ryan's leg and make his teeth better. Also maybe carve a big X into his forehead to signify my dominance.
((RIP Deer Shank gen II. I'll add her to the dead list on the wiki, unless you want to, wipeout.))Hey Dude 6 declined. Who is next?
Without leaving his position of relative safety, Hyenakles scans the area for any signs of (a) freaky crab man or (b) the statue that he left his explosive rocks next to.
PW, I think you have the waitlist reversed. Heydude66 should be up next.
Wow, I've been neglecting this recently, eh?Hey, you're still updating, which is better than I can say. 'Sides, we're patient people.
"Yay, you fixed my leg! You are the best, wizard man!""Point of fact." Xan emits wizard smugness, perhaps the most concentrated kind of smug.
Dave looked around, regaining his bearings. Oh, the tower. "Um. Should we get the hell out of here?""We investigate the warbeast first. There are some things there I need, and likely people I need to revive."
QuoteWow, I've been neglecting this recently, eh?Hey, you're still updating, which is better than I can say. 'Sides, we're patient people."Yay, you fixed my leg! You are the best, wizard man!""Point of fact." Xan emits wizard smugness, perhaps the most concentrated kind of smug.Dave looked around, regaining his bearings. Oh, the tower. "Um. Should we get the hell out of here?""We investigate the warbeast first. There are some things there I need, and likely people I need to revive."
To the warbeast wreckage, wherever it is! Look around particularly for my cultists, who are likely corpses by this point. Also any other corpses, I'll need them.
"Yay, you fixed my leg! You are the best, wizard man!"The warbeast is actually still alive, though badly damaged and also on fire. Its about 100 feet away from you, over near the cloudwall. Your cultists are definitely dead, and most of them are on fire too. You gather the bodies up.
Ryan is so happy he cannot contain his excitement!
Skitter over to what remains of the warbeast and help fire wizard man in whatever he's doing.
((Amperzand (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=151279.msg6331079#msg6331079) is up next.))I'm just gonna assume you walk all the way to the cloud wall because there's no reason to force you to spend several turns walking.
Alright. Well, no sense in sitting around. Begin walking West, towards the border between Idol Henge and Dead Silence.
Ponder the mystery of the bonefruit. Do they seem to have an effect beyond being incredibly delicious?Well, they're very nourishing. And your wounds don't feel as bad anymore.
Turn on a light. let's see what we're dealing with. let's get some eyes my way.[5]
How's the poor little engine spirit?Xan grabbed him before his little pyrotechnic display so he's fine.
Preen for a bit and check my stab wounds. Does it seem like I could potentially fly again? Being grounded is all kinds of ass, have to say. How do these other idiots stand it?Your wounds do look better. You think you could fly; nothing too strenuous but you could do it.
A stadium full of eyeballs or an eyeball the size of a stadium, it's all the same to me. Sebastian sits down stretches really good, and begins cleaning his left rear leg, paying careful attention to the foot, doing that chewing thing cats sometimes do to the space between their toes.The eye stares at you for a good few moments before the arm lowers. Or maybe the eye just moves up? Hard to say. But the body here is starting to move in a big way so it might be good to figure out how to hold on.
Right, quickly now. Use Dionne's body as fuel to revive my cultists. Rebirth through flame and all that.One dead body to revive a bunch of dead cultists? Last time you did this it was one living body to save one critically injured person.
Alright. Cross over into Dead Silence.You walk through the cloudwall and find yourself on a gray plain. The ground is gray and as smooth and featureless as glass, but you can tell that it is bowing inward slightly. Its like you're on the edge of an enormous bowl with very gradual slope. The sky above looks like tv static. You try to stare out into the distance but its like the world becomes unfocused if you look more than a hundred or so feet away. Everything is dead silent.
Watch the fire man do his fire thang.
((Is party splitting? It sounds like party is splitting.))
Assist Xankarvo! It's least I can do. Maybe his strength rubs on me a bit.
Let's alter that somewhat then, on account of the You're Being A Dumbass With Magic alarm ringing.[4]
Attempt to use Dionne's body, along with 3/4 of the cultist bodies to revive the remaining cultists. I think there were 12 of the buggers, so that'd be 10 bodies including Dionne to rez 3. Mayhaps that'd not catastrophically murder me?
...
Actually, I recall there being a book on blood rituals in the warbeast somewhere. Check around for that first and skim through it to see if there's any tips on this sort of thing. If I can't find it or it's burninated, then I'll just go through with my plan.Spoiler: Xankarvo (click to show/hide)
Figure out how to hold on? I am a cat in a liquid octopus. Holding on is what got me here to begin with. I just continue to do that.[5] apparently thats good enough.
What's going on over by the mountain in the meantime? Mingle with the residents if there are any, see what they make of all this nonsense.Over at the mountain, the ground is starting to open up. And not just a little hole, the ground is falling away like a sink hole. A sink hole whose edge is rapidly approaching the downed warbeast and most of the group.
If anybody asks, I'm not with Xan over there. If anybody points out that clearly I am, say that I was kidnapped and almost sold into a lifetime of bird slavery.
"I say, it looks like the earth is about to eat you lot. Might want to move, good fellows!"Hyenankles went into the Idol henge and then toward dead silence, so we'll have you fly out to idol henge and then follow him. For sake of speed and not triple splitting the party, we'll say you catch up with him.
Try flying away from the sinkhole.
In fact, start flying (low to the ground, with breaks every now and then) and keep going in the direction that Hyenakles did. Westward, I believe! Out into the Dead Silence!
((Sorry, didn't really have Internet access over the weekend. Here, I'll just paste in the whole waitlist. Tomasque is next up, UXLZ second, and so on.))You and bird heading toward the black sun cult eh? Well, let me see. Thats a fair distance from here. Are you gonna go straight, passing through a fairly inner section of the dead silence, or are you gonna go around the edge, which takes longer?Spoiler: Waitlist (click to show/hide)
"Well, this is unsettling." Hyenakles remarks out loud. "But hey, I'll take unsettling over terrifying any day."
Begin the long trek northwest, towards the border to Black Sun Cult. In leu of bread crumbs, periodically tear tufts of fur from my cloak, and drop them them at my feet. Try not to use this alone time to contemplate the apparent probability that my allies are all dead and I am all alone in this god forsaken hell and oh god what will I do next I'm going to die I'm going to die hrhghghakldsgalkjf
"SEA MONSTERS!!"You run into idol henge and safety.
Run for it.
Good, my intuition was right. Commence revival at ratios previously established!Spoiler: Xanny (click to show/hide)
"Giant antlion!"[4]
Stick around Xankarvo and drag him away if it starts look like he will be eaten by ground.
Hyenakles is cautious, but not that cautious. Go straight.
"I say, Hyenakles me old boy, this place is a bit toss, innit?"[1]
Stick close to the hyena and keep a sharp birdy eye out for any kind of existential threat.
Regroup! Run Dino Fast!With which group? Xan I assume?
"Screw it, fuck this hell."Via what kind of path? How you wanna go there?
Be tiny and unimportant. Head over to the Cemaic Empire!
Hey! Where is everyone going? Show's not over! We haven't collected our fee yet!"
Say the above. Hmm, I guess Sebastian will wait for an opportunity to hop down into a relatively stable and safe location - toward the group, more or less. He will, of course, continue to yammer at teh arms and the ghost people about our fee.
"Hey, hey, fire man, are you not going to fight that?"
Follow Xan like chicken its mother.
Haul ass to the warbeast, which is apparently still alive, if on fire and kinda fucked up. But I am the fire wizard, so that doesn't matter. Get my cultists to run with me. Zigzag, be a moving target and such.You and The deathclaw get to the warbeast.
The warbeast is near the cloud wall so it's also a good exit.
"Perhaps we shouldn't be going into the bowl of death and silence, has this occurred to you, dear Hyenakles?"
See if there is a possibility of skirting the edge of this weird hell.
"Alright, I suppose you have a point there."
On second thought, heed Mr. Bird's advice and skirt around the hell in an arc.
Pretty much this, right now, from Sebastian's viewpoint:You basically just cling to the arm and watch what happens next.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCv9o7qteko (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCv9o7qteko)
By floating though whatever fogwall gets me there, duh. Where is that damn map?That requires traversing almost the entirety of these mountains but I suppose thats ok.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
It's adjacent to this hell. Just go straight there, crossing over the mount city where there aren't a bunch of hands sticking out.
"Engine spirit! Is the warbeast still able to walk in your judgement?"
Ask engine spirit if warbeast can still walk. If it can, do A. If it can't but could be repaired, do B. If it's fucked beyond repair, do C.
A: Make the fire engulfing the warbeast into a (temporary) fire shield surrounding it, and get the engine spirit to walk it out of the heaven with us.
B: Use the fire to temporarily repair the warbeast, perhaps by making it substitute for whatever is stopping it from moving, or some other bullshit method. Then get the engine spirit to walk it out of the heaven with us.
C: Sacrifice the warbeast and use the power that gives me in conjunction with the faith those observing have in my powers to give myself and everyone with me (Ryan, Dave, cultists) wings of fire to fly away on. Make mine permanent if I can.
((Whichever was biggest. This is fine. ))[4]
Support whatever Xan is up to.
Fly away or die, I guess.
.....Before we get too many dead posts here, You're still acting, you just can't "See" it. So if you were blind, deaf and dumb, how would you get out of somewhere?
"I was thinking just the same."Its just smoldering a bit, not enough to be useful.
Is the warbeast still on fire, or has it been snuffed out by now? If it's on fire, try to use the fire to repair it enough to walk. If not... ask the Engine Spirit what it'd take to repair the thing.
So. What do you do around here, big fella? Fancy a walkabout round the Hells?[4]
Say the above to my new mount. If it remains uncommunicative, say the following:
Well, show's over. I'll take my fee now. Then, if you could drop me by the fog wall, I'll be on my way. It was a pleasure performing here for you and your fine friends.
Attempt to convince the Subterranean Titan to yield up some goodies in line with his own status and unique talents (the ability to travel through the ground, great size and physical prowess? Extra limbs?)
Failing that, since I appear to be the only one remaining in this hell, I'll head back into Idol Henge and stock up on sand and pebbles. (I know I still have a pocket full of them. I just want to be loaded up. But not weighed down.
Traveling.Did ya miss me?
Nope. Just nothing to say for now. You're chugging along and I assume attempting to avoid people noticing you or interacting. Since interacting with these freaking ghost people wasn't been great so far.Traveling.Did ya miss me?
Birds have a very good innate sense of direction, I'll have you know. Keep a steady course and fly on. Failing that, fly upward! Let gravity be my guide!...very....high...can...hear...
Charge on forward, I guess.You make it out of the silence, out to the edge of the area again. You find yourself coated in what looks very old carrion.
"Is it really any different from normal sand? I mean they are all carved, but it's basically still sand.""Well, that cat managed to summon an alien thing out of it, so it has to have something special going on with it."
Asking correct questions.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AW6wBgKl3ao (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AW6wBgKl3ao)[3]
Summon Flying Mount.
Xan's expression becomes resolute.[1]
"It will work," he declares. "My name is still remembered, and of more significance than these forgotten shadows. My being is greater still."
Lightly flambé the sand before the warbeast uses it to repair itself to imbue it with my power or something. I'm kinda going on instinct right now.
"Is this part of the process? Surrounding yourself in fire before summoning more fire?"Wizardly teeth are grit!
Make semi-snarky comments at the fire mage.
Be warned that this course of action may result in you no longer wearing pants.That'll just turn my metaphorical Freudian attitude literal.
Use this relative clarity to move out of The Danger Zone and hopefully toward where Hyenakles is or some other part of the region that isn't quite completely silent.[2]
...Gonna just say you make it to the edge of the hell, at the border between the one you're in and the one you were headed to.
Summon a talking wooden leg for my missing leg, and summon a cat-sized bicycle with a comically large front wheel.[3]
We'll worry about the carrion later. Put some more distance between myself and the epicenter of the silence.You reach the edge of this hell.
"Is this part of the process? Surrounding yourself in fire before summoning more fire?"Wizardly teeth are grit!
Make semi-snarky comments at the fire mage.
"Yes acTUALLY"
Fire on my pants goes to fire on the sand!
...
Apply the fire on my pants to what I was trying to do last turn, to give a non-silly action plan.
We'll worry about the carrion later. Put some more distance between myself and the epicenter of the silence.
...[5]
((What, are they checking whether you've misplaced your bone marrow, given your medical history of organs going missing?))[5]
Well, better stop circling then. Go toward the edge for, say, an hour and then circle from there, making sure to avoid the middle of it all. Either catch up with Hyenakles or wind up on the other side of the hell from where I began, whichever comes first. Cross the fuck out of here either way.
bah, fine. Summon leg (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gr7C33JdN1I)[1]
Then: Summon Mount (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCDnGuUFyvk)
((Why does a skeleton need an x-ray?))My bear skin shirt might be obscuring their view of my bones
"Cool trick. Now what?"
Encourage Xan.
Cross into Cemiac Empire.The skies in the empire are heavily overcast with black clouds, and the only light that makes it through is a sort of sickly green; the color radiation has in cartoons. The ground here looks volcanic in nature, like a flow of magma that cooled, all smooth ripples of pummice and obsidian. Few plants grow here, just scattered patches of grass and thin trees poking up at random in the rock. There are low hills, but for the most part this place is an open plain, and in the distance you can see the shapes of what look like enormous ziggarauts and tall black towers, all lit via that same unhealthy looking green glow.
"Now the engine spirit repairs the warbeast with the ground I just torched and we move on from there."The warbeast eats some of the scorched idol sand. it doesn't seem to have any immediate detrimental effects, but it also heals only a tiny amount of the beasts damage.
Hear that, engine spirit?
((Oh dear, someone's been stealing your blood for nefarious purposes. Normally I'd fess up around now but it wasn't me this time.))
((Eep! Hope it's nothing too serious! Get well soon!))Don't worry about it Mr.Fish. Baring Multiple Myeloma I think I'm good.
Observe excitedly how awesome our mount will grow to be.Currently pretty weaksauce. Maybe if it ate a lot more and you believed in it a lot....
Power walk the fuck on out of here.which area is it that you want to go to again? there are a few connecting to dead silence.
"Where else should we try? This is no good. It's not like this place is too dangerous; we could roll back to that tree place?""Perhaps, but I find myself intrigued by this Divine Wasteland. The forest doesn't hold much for us beyond what we've already seen."
I should point out that I can't tell what color the sky is with my current senses. Or see things in the distance, probably.Thats right, you see entirely with sonar.
Head towards where I think civilization would be, anyway.
"Well, that place was definitely shite! That's a bit of a pattern around here, have you noticed, good chap? And- ooh, is that carrion you have on you? Could I try some, perhaps?"
To the Black Sun Cult!Also have a taste of this ancient carrion that Hyenakles has on him. Any good?
Respect Hyenakles' wishes to have the carrion be left alone.
Mr. Bird and Hyenakles had been aiming for Black Sun Cult.That carrion is pretty dried up, probably no good anyways.
EDIT: Try to avoid mentally acknowledging the existence of the weird carrion, now that Mr. Bird has reminded me of it. Lightly shoo him if he tries poking at it.
Find a lamp shaped pebble or sand grain. summon a wish granting genie.[6]
"Eh, just repair yourself with the idol sand then, it'll work. Now then, where to go from here..."The repair of the war beast results in....well. The flesh of the beast was never normal. Pseudo-flesh the engine spirit called it. But now it is something far weirder. The damaged parts regrow in pale albino white, and they squirm with obvious life. Faces, alien forms, all manner of people and creatures, minor gods and forgotten heros, squirm in that flesh, as though contained in a thin rubber shell, like a condom stuffed with maggots."Where else should we try? This is no good. It's not like this place is too dangerous; we could roll back to that tree place?""Perhaps, but I find myself intrigued by this Divine Wasteland. The forest doesn't hold much for us beyond what we've already seen."
Xan vote for going to the Divine Wastes unless there's major objection?
Could you please skip me on the waitlist? I don't know when I'll have the time to catch up and run a character in the near future. :(
Good point. Alright, I'll give it a shot.Could you please skip me on the waitlist? I don't know when I'll have the time to catch up and run a character in the near future. :(
((Catching up is strictly optional. It makes just as little sense in context.))
"Well, I can ride on anything! Let's go!"You climb up on the war beast and prepare to leave.
Cling on to the back with the previously useless skill that Dave picked in character creation
Dodge punches, laugh and say:"THEY ALREADY CAN!"
Hahahahaha. I like you. I wish my friends could see you!
Go poke those face maggots and pop them like zits.You jab the things under the war beast's skin and find that they are actually much harder then they look; they flow like flesh and water but are hard as stone. Neat.
"You know, I don't trust that mine."You look away from the burning black sun. This stops it from hurting your eyes. but your skin is still burning. Starting to get red too, actually.
Avert my eyes from the sky. After double checking that it is not in fact part of me, peel away the carrion and drop it on the ground. Try to guess what kind of animal it could have been.
"Really? I find the mine quite refreshingly upfront in its ominous nature. I mean, you would have thought the Scarred Tribes would be some nasty buggers, but they turned out to be all right."Well, you would assume that being underground would at least provide SOME protection against the sun. I mean, get out of the sun and the sun stops hurting you. Fairly simple logical inference.
"An addendum to that, of course, is that this seems like fairly lethal stuff, given time and exposure. The mine may look quite dangerous, but at least it is a form of shelter, I would assume, potential C.H.U.D.s notwithstanding."
Is the old mine entrance enough to provide shelter from the terrible rays of this weird eclipse?
"And so the lesser gods of this realm are trapped within your flesh. In time, they will learn to submit."Any particular path you want to use to get there?
Get on the back of the warbeast after some pontificating (with my followers) and then we head for the ... have we been to the Deep Woods yet? I don't think so. We should nip over to the edge of it so we can take a few trees to rebuild the structures on the warbeast.
Looking for people, though not trying to attract attention. I'm not expecting too much trouble from this hell, but it is still unexplored territory.Ok.Hmm...did we ever determine a range for that sonar of yours? I wanna know who would see who first.
Well, we're in Idol Henge right now, so just head south-southwest until we get to that intersection between the fogwalls of here, Deep Woods, and the Divine Wastes. Then go into the Deep Woods to harvest a few trees.
For some reason I can not stop imagining you as a freaking stegosaurus
((So who's where again? I know I'm with Xan and warbeast, but that's about it.))Edge of the idol henge, currently.
Grab the carcass, and then follow Mr. Bird down into the mine.
By that I meant take shelter in the old mine entrance.You both scamper into the mine. The first 30 or so feet of the mine is a shallow tunnel, and the stone here is eaten away like swiss cheese; apparently by the sunlight. Each time you pass under a hole, it feels like someone putting a lit cigarette out on your skin, and burns just the same. You sprint into the darkness until you reach a point where the sun is no longer shining in and you can catch your breath. There's a cut stone stairway down from here but...its very dark. Going into total cave darkness might be a poor idea. But there might be lit areas ahead? Hard to say.
Well, we're in Idol Henge right now, so just head south-southwest until we get to that intersection between the fogwalls of here, Deep Woods, and the Divine Wastes. Then go into the Deep Woods to harvest a few trees.Fair.
I know I know but for some reason I see Stegosaurus in my head. Just like I always saw Milno as a gruff old man.Well, we're in Idol Henge right now, so just head south-southwest until we get to that intersection between the fogwalls of here, Deep Woods, and the Divine Wastes. Then go into the Deep Woods to harvest a few trees.
SureFor some reason I can not stop imagining you as a freaking stegosaurus
Cretaceous ceratopsian, not Jurassic stegosaurid.
Say[3]
You are hilarious! You and I are two sides to one coin. I wish you and I could be together forever.
Range is about as far as a standard RTS unit can see.In that case you're gonna be floating forward for a while before suddenly hearing someone scream "HALT!" and several small explosions as they fire warning shots very near where your feet would be if you had any.
"Very rude. Stop shooting at a blind woman's invisible feet and identify yourself.""IDENTIFY YOURSELF OR WE WILL SHOOT AGAIN!" shouts...someone? This limited eyesight thing sucks.
"Whoah, that looks like it could burn really well! Let's go swimming!"You run into the woods. You go about 200 meters in before the overhead canopy starts to block out the sun to a significant degree. You don't see any fishies, but at this depth you're starting to see some birds that are about the size of a small dog.
Go swimming in tree lake! See if there's tree fishes around!
"Oh, I get it. 'Deep' woods. Witty of whoever made that map. Engine spirit, since we have a variety of lumber to harvest here, inform me of the sizes of trees that would be most optimal to rebuild the warbeast structures. Followers of the Most Beautiful, do you know of any dangers or anomalies present in these woods?""I'm not a carpenter. I can only regrow the beast's flesh, not the buildings atop it."
Gather info juuuuust in case.
Say:"YOU'RE GONNA WISH YOU DIDN'T HAVE A NECK. ON ACCOUNT OF HOW HARD I'M GONNA WRING IT!"
"What do you mean? This is pretty awesome! Hey, how many limbs do we have altogether now? Now that we are one, do I have your wish powers? What should we wish for next?"
So how do those saplings at the edge taste? Don't actually walk in; that would be silly.Hmm. They taste alright. They have a good amount of moisture in them so you're getting wood with an undertone of bourbon.
((Fair: Milno is a gruff old man in a younger man's body))
"Oh, so you do! Splendid!"
Look around outside. Any bones laying around that might be good to fix the cloak up as proper cover?
"I have this cloak, so I should be fine. It might be worth exploring these tunnels a bit... although then again, there's a decent chance we'll encounter this hell's eponymous cult if we do so."The corpse you have has two whole femurs for you, plus a few other long bones.
Contemplating options. By the way, does the carcass appear to have any limbs or longer bones left?
"Hey! These trees aren't bad! You should eat some too!"Nom Nom Nom
Eat my fill. Again, don't go deep.
This is lake. Only fishes live in lakes. Therefore those birds are fishes. Hunt some feathery fish and return to Xan.[2]
Uh, "someone"? It's not limited vision, it's very damn good hearing. This someone is making sound, so I should be able to tell a little bit more about them than that they're "someone".Thats not how sonar works. Sonar is a rather complex thing where you can judge the shape of something judging by differences in the time it takes for it to return and distortions in the sound. Them yelling at you doesn't help you understand anything about them. Other than that they are over that-a-way.
"Honestly, most of who I am you can tell by looking at me. With your eyes. I'm a glass sphere and a skull, I can fly, and I CAN YELL REALLY FUCKING LOUD. I'm lifeborn, I have no affiliation with any political group, I traveled with a group of lifeborn for awhile. Now will you fucking stop shooting at me? It's annoying."
Say:[2]
I guess that's fair. I wish you didn't have a neck!
"Fine, I suppose expecting you to know everything is unreasonable. We'll do this: grab a variety of tree lengths, and we can construct a dwelling out of them later. Don't grab trees larger than a few meters or so, anything larger would be difficult to keep steady on top of the warbeast.""As you wish."
Lumber harvesting!
"Oh, don't mind at all. Don't wander off too far, however."6
Time for some bone-based art! Fashion a parasol out of the bones of this corpse (what was it a corpse of?), combining bones and tying them together with sinew! Don't be afraid to utilize my rather sharp beak, my definitely quite sharp wing blades and my incongruous saurian fingers at the end of my wings.
"Well, while you figure out your cover situation, I'm going to check out this tunnel a bit. You mind if I take a leg?"Unfortunately the bird stole all the bones.
Unless Mr. Bird objects, yank a femur off the carcass. Begin descending the stairs, cautiously probing the ground and walls ahead of me with the bone as I go.
His belly full, Dave sat and watched the flowing trees as the warbeast did his duty. It was almost calming, in a way; the sea still called to him. "Wonder if we could sail on this tree lake?""Judging by how deeply Ryan has gone in, I doubt it. This place shares some properties with water, and it likely has some creatures in it like most lakes do, but it is still a forest."
I don't mean sonar, I mean what they sound like. I can tell more about someone that just that by their voice.They sound male, fairly young, but also not entirely normal. Their voice is sort of modulated and echoey.
Lower to just above the ground. Move forward.
Say[3]
This won't do. I wish we were more properly blended - a monkeycat king!
"Now this is what I call a fine parasol! Shall we test it, dear Hyenakles?"It opens and closes but a quick try in the sun shows that it won't last more then a few minutes at best. The sun is extremely angry.
Does the parasol open and close like an umbrella?
Furthermore, does it hold up against the sun?
Its difficult to say. You reason that its probably decreasing them but its an awful lot like going to a lake and taking a gallon of water out. Yeah, you decreased the amount in the lake but its rather difficult to see the effect when observing it as a whole.His belly full, Dave sat and watched the flowing trees as the warbeast did his duty. It was almost calming, in a way; the sea still called to him. "Wonder if we could sail on this tree lake?""Judging by how deeply Ryan has gone in, I doubt it. This place shares some properties with water, and it likely has some creatures in it like most lakes do, but it is still a forest."
Does this harvesting seem to be decreasing the amount of trees in the 'lake'? Just observing for now. P
"Sure."It, like the parasol, will provide protection, but not for long.
Watch Mr. Bird, in case this test goes catastrophically wrong. Also test to see if my lion cloak holds up.
"Fuck positive thinking, I'd rather chance the caves."
Alright, let me see if I have this straight: I have one foreleg, one hindleg, no neck, a monkey on my back, one cursed wish left, and a pocket full of sand. The team is scattered over four hells, and my only companion hates me, even more so than the rest of the team did.Yep!
"I wish we had wings, monkey."
"I dare say this will have to be plan B, good chap. For now, let's see if what is in these caves is as terrible as the sun up in the sky."[3]
Mr. Bird flaps his wings thoughtfully as he peers into the darkness.
"Actually, I have another idea. That light was clearly angry, dear Hyenakles. Maybe that's because anger creates light? What if we could, say, do a similar thing with our own thoughts? Happier ones, I'd imagine."
See if I can perhaps illuminate these tunnels with the power of positive thinking. If the sun is really angry, maybe happy thoughts will make for a nicer radiance? Invite Hyenakles to join me for extra faith in our success.
"Fuck positive thinking, I'd rather chance the caves."You walk off into the mine, blindly tapping your way through with the tip of your rifle. It takes a few minutes but your eyes grow accustom to the absolute dark to the point that you can see, a VERY faint light in here. Its coming from deeper in, though not as a "Light at the end of the tunnel". Its more ambient; must be hidden behind curves.
Carry out the earlier tunnel exploration plan, but using the end of my rifle instead of a bone.
Ponder my bigness and the increase thereof. Would perhaps eating lots more greenery help? Could always give it a shot.That depends. Are you a baby dino or just a vertically challenged one? Because eatting would help in both cases, but in the second case the growth would be more...radial.
"Very well then. Gather a bit more, warbeast, and we'll depart."You get as many trees as you think you'll need before attempting to huck a fire ball in for...who knows what reason.
Have the warbeast gather a few more trees beyond the amount we'll likely need to rebuild the structures just in case of fuckups, and then do the Xan thing and throw a bigass fireball into the tree lake (after everyone else is out of it).
"Alright, monkey. What now? Do you disappear in a puff of smoke now that your wishes are used up? No matter, let's go see what's out there."No. I'm stuck here. Thanks for this by the way. Asshole."Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Monkey and I are gonna fly over Mount King's Domain, toward Olympus. We'll stay away from dead silence, sounds boring. But we'll peek into lack sun cult. that's the one with teh angry sun, right? We'll leave there when we see that the sun hates everything and continue toward Olympus. ((end goal is sky crawler hive))
Oh, if we spot any of hte others, we'll stop by where they are and 'assist' as Sebastian Monkey Wing does best.Spoiler: Sebastian Monkey Wing (click to show/hide)
((We're currently divided into three groups? One in deep woods, one in black sun, and myself, right?))
Yellow is off doing things that I don't really care about anymore, TBH.?
"Interesting."
Well, we've got what we need. Now where to? Unless anyone has alternate suggestions, I propose we skirt around the edges of the Deep Woods until we get to the Black Sun Cult.
Oh well, follow Hyenakles into the darkness. Surely nothing bad could happen to us there.You move forward until you find a small circular room dig straight into the stone. There's a small, dying fire here. Its fed mostly on what looks like scrap wood and clothing. It hasn't been tended in a bit, but is still fairly fresh. Whoever made it can't be far.
The beast is at least five stories tall, and the immediate impression it gives is that of an armored gorilla. It has the same heavy, oversized upper body and hunched, knuckle walking stance. But the face and head have a more mandrill like appearance, a longer muzzle with a very obvious and oversized fangs. It has a line of seven orange eyes spaced evenly across its face, and a reptile like slit nose, but otherwise the face is smooth and featureless except for the bone structure underneath. The body is covered in thick black hair, except for the hands which are scaly and end in talons. Its armor is a mess; clearly at one point is was more then likely either fully armored or close to it, but much of it has fallen away. There are scattered lamellar metal plates, bindings of faded red fabric, snapped rope and cables on tightly clinging metal rings. The metal plates were once very ornate, you can see the fading, worn away paint and the engravings they still bear, but they've clearly been exposed to the elements for quite a while. On it's shoulders and head is an entire platform system, metal and wood structure that appear to have their foundations sunk straight into the creature's flesh. There are structures up there, perched on those platforms, and even what look like banners, still flying on their poles.
The creature appears to be extremely injured. It's black fur glints with what look like the metal shafts of buried spears and arrows, And there are several huge golden metal steaks piercing straight through it. The stakes appear to have been driven through it's back, the points stick out through the chest and the parts rising from the creature's back are adorned with what look like emblems on their terminal end. Almost as though the stakes were ornamental or symbolic. Or perhaps simply ornate. If there was an easy climbing route up to the top of the beast, it's gone now.
Just a short dino, not a baby one.Probably better off with the blue pills then, my friend.
Follow Xan where he goes.
Sebastian greets the Mount King excitedlyThe mount king blinks slowly and laboriously. Then he raises his head and shows his massive teeth to you and says something. But its voice is so great, slow and deep that you can't make out whatever it is that he said.
Hi! he shouts. It's been a while eh? Hey monkey, you see this? It's my old friend the Mount King. Mount King, this is Paw Monkey, the monkey's paw wish granting magical genie. He's grumpy, but he's got a good heart. SO, how you been?
((I would imagine we'd have to be over a thousand feet up to be face to face with this guy, since his arm alone lifted the warbeast several hundred feet.))
"I mean, we could probably make a torch and keep going. But, I suppose whoever lit this fire would have put it back out if they weren't intending to return." Hyenakles scratches his chin. "It's odd, you'd think we'd be asphyxiating right now. I wonder if there's a chimney in here?"
Check out the room a bit more thoroughly. Is the fire in a dedicated hearth, and if so, is it ventillated? Or are we breathing in its smoke right now? Also look to see if there are any scraps large enough for making a torch.
"I rather enjoy being able to see, so let's stick around here for a bit. Maybe someone will turn up and we can see if this cave is worth exploring? I imagine if unusual troglodytes come charging out with slavering jaws, that'll be a good enough sign to go back out again."The fire is not in a dedicated hearth; its just sort of sitting on the ground. There's no ventilation either, just smoke pouring onto the ceiling and then matriculating down the halls. But the fire is small, so there's only a small amount of smoke, mostly gathered round the ceiling.
Express desire to stay here a little while. Keep a birdy ear out for activity in the tunnels.
"Interesting."Ya quoted this last update, but nothing happened so..?
Well, we've got what we need. Now where to? Unless anyone has alternate suggestions, I propose we skirt around the edges of the Deep Woods until we get to the Black Sun Cult.
Pull out a big ol' tape recorder and say "What?" Record the voice, then play it back at twice the speed.[5]
Alright then, you head to the black sun cult and walk straight into the blazing, murderous, very angry sunlight. It immediately begins to quite painfully burn all exposed skin and degrade all light materials."Interesting."Ya quoted this last update, but nothing happened so..?
Well, we've got what we need. Now where to? Unless anyone has alternate suggestions, I propose we skirt around the edges of the Deep Woods until we get to the Black Sun Cult.
"Hmm."Assist via feats of strength!
Right, let's temporarily turn back to the Deep Woods and spend some time being ... practical.
IE using those trees we harvested to rebuild that shelter on the warbeast's back.
Has egan lost the will to live?He (or she, I never learned the brain ball's gender) appears to have suffered the IH version of stasis dementia.
Has egan lost the will to live?
Yellow is off doing things that I don't really care about anymore, TBH.
Keep speeding it up until it either makes sense or passes out of the range of hearing.You speed it up until you hear it say "WWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHAAATTT YYYYYYOUUUUUUUU WWWWAAANTTTTTTT"
"Well, shoot. You're the closest thing to a canary down here, so tell me if you start feeling lightheaded."
I think we're just going to keep waiting until either somebody shows up, or we get bored and seek them out. So yeah.
"Will do, good chap. I expect it's not all that bad down here, of course. After all, penitence in the face of an angry all-seeing god is how we got modern society!"After a few minutes of waiting, something does happen. A stone, small and round, bounces off a wall in the darkness somewhere and then skids into the light of the torch, stopping at your feet.
Keep waiting for a bit with Hyenakles, but nudge him to start exploring with a torch sooner rather than later.
"Hmm."
Right, let's temporarily turn back to the Deep Woods and spend some time being ... practical.
IE using those trees we harvested to rebuild that shelter on the warbeast's back.
[5]"Hmm."Assist via feats of strength!
Right, let's temporarily turn back to the Deep Woods and spend some time being ... practical.
IE using those trees we harvested to rebuild that shelter on the warbeast's back.
We losing interest here? Because I got other games we can play if you've lost interest in IH.
We losing interest here? Because I got other games we can play if you've lost interest in IH.
The really nice bits in this game for me were the very start, when it was more of a weird road trip as opposed to a weird fantasy adventure. The Wall of Teeth was legitimately brilliant and Slencville was cool as well, but then everything wound up in a rut where most of what we run into was either unhelpful, wildly hazardous or largely impossible to coherently interpret.Fair. Its what I intended for it to be like.
I do think you get too fixated on weirdness though, PW. Your best stuff tends to come out when you keep things relatively grounded.
This seems problematic, based on our experience in ER with high powered characters, and your known issue with balancing for challenge in those cases.
2. You can get +1 to +3 on any stat or skill, however rather than being D6+1, thus removing the chance of a 1, it instead expands the 5, so to speak. So standard rtd has 5 as a perfect success. with +1 you would have 4-5 as a perfect success. At+3 You have an 85ish% chance of total success or overshot success, with a 15% chance of horrible failure. No matter how good you get, that 1 never goes away.
Eh, I don't think it will be AS bad because ER removed all the failures thanks to +1's. This system never removes that failure. No matter how good you get there's always a 1/6 chance of horrible failure. Which is actually far higher than most mainstream games.This seems problematic, based on our experience in ER with high powered characters, and your known issue with balancing for challenge in those cases.
2. You can get +1 to +3 on any stat or skill, however rather than being D6+1, thus removing the chance of a 1, it instead expands the 5, so to speak. So standard rtd has 5 as a perfect success. with +1 you would have 4-5 as a perfect success. At+3 You have an 85ish% chance of total success or overshot success, with a 15% chance of horrible failure. No matter how good you get, that 1 never goes away.
Otherwise, seems fairly standard and relatively engaging.
mmm. Maybe. I'd like to see a couple test cases though. still, I'd probably join either way, especially if I manage to get into the first rotation.Well, lets break it down statistically.