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[CyberUrist]

"Ach, m' booze 's evaporatin'! Th' bloody brewer can't make a good wine to save 'imself from the damn elves I'll be throwing 'im tUrist McFlammable has burnt to death.

WWUD if he encountered GIANT ENEMY SPONGES?

What else would he do? He gets pushed to death.

WWUD if he could drink and create magma?

[Olith McHuman]

Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! Now introducing ... Urist McMagma! Capable of stopping a magma flood simply by drinking it! Capable of stopping a siege by creating magma over their troops!
*little kid dumps a bucket of water on Urist McMagma*
Urist McMagma been encased in cooling lava.
Uh, we'll be right back, uh, after a word from our, uh, sponsor.


What would Urist McTrader do if he had taken a nap, finished his break, eaten a meal, drunk his fill, attended a party, finished his mood, hauled every item in the fort, killed even more time by getting married (and thus having an excuse to party again), and still had orders to trade with the elves?

[Sus]

Urist McTrader has gone stark raving mad!

WWUD if he found out what really went into a "☼strawberry roast☼"?

[CyberUrist]

Urist McTrader has gone stark raving mad!

WWUD if he found out what really went into a "☼strawberry roast☼"?

Urist cancels Eat Food: Went Insane.
Urist has gone Berserk!

WWUD if he was invited to a feast by the elves?

[Lagslayer]

Be forced to endure the dreaded ☼strawberry roast☼s which were traded to the elves for obvious reasons.

WWUD if he found the Necronomicon?

[CyberUrist]

Be forced to endure the dreaded ☼strawberry roast☼s which were traded to the elves for obvious reasons.

WWUD if he found the Necronomicon?

He would raise the brewers from the dead and order them to make endless booze for him.

WWUD if he had a major motor nerve severed by a speeding *lead minecart*?

[Teneb]

Stay in the hospital for the rest of his life since the medics have no experience and eventually be euthanized by the overseer.

WWUD if turned into a goblin?

[grimman007]

Snatch some kids so that when he's inevitably captured, he can use them as meatshields when he faces off against the FBs and HFS in the arena.

WWUD if he found out there was an infestation of magikarp in his fishing pond?

[CyberUrist]

He would try to fish and then get dragged in and drowned.

WWUD if he turned into a speeding -wooden minecart-?

[Lagslayer]

He would try to fish and then get dragged in and drowned.

WWUD if he turned into a speeding -wooden minecart-?

Go on a rampage and infect half the fortress with his wereminecartism.

WWUD with a pitchblende maul?

[Teneb]

Get mutations and turn into a superhero.

WWUD if he was allergic to alcohol?

[CyberUrist]

He would try to drink it anyways, causing severe necrosis, paralysis and extreme pain in the face. He would then become melancholy and melt himself in the nearest pool of magma.

WWUD if he was made out of grease?

[Caprealis]

Probably collapse on the floor, And wait to get tracked around the fortress.

WWUD if he knew there was a friendly god in the Human fortress that he was about to attack,

[Devling]

Trying punching him, fail, and then get killed by his pissed of companions. (trust me I have first hand experience)

WWUD if he was the last dwarf alive?

[Lagslayer]

Trying punching him, fail, and then get killed by his pissed of companions. (trust me I have first hand experience)

WWUD if he was the last dwarf alive?

Move in with the elves and start an elaborate cloning program.

1. Impregnate all the elf women he can find
2. Separate the ones with more elf traits from those with less. Kill the more elfy ones.
3. Start inbreeding the dwarfier offspring, each time killing off the elfier bunch, until finally, genetic drift leaves only pure dwarvish genes again.
4. New dwarven civ composed entirely of Urist and opposite gender clones.


WWUD with an army of war kittens?