((Well, It's been a while. In a very related note, MGS:V:the phantom pain is pretty amazing. It's deliciously cheesy.))
Dig deeper in ass
Go to a helipad with my sidekick and all my equipment.
You head over to a local news station building. You take the fire escape up to the roof. There's a helicopter with its blades already spinning, and the news crew is getting ready to depart.
David thinks in his confused mind
"Wait, so the green guys are helping me? And I have some dude talking in my head? My friends will never believe dis"
look around for a second. Where is the person I was supposed to save?
AND THEN TRY TO LAUNCH SOMEONE INTO THE WALL, OR EVEN BETTER OUTSIDE A WINDOW. GOTTA SEE HOW MUCH POWER I HAVE.
You take this moment to look around for the girl. She has, quite smartly, used the time where the lot of you were fighting to crawl behind a sturdy looking bench.
satisfied that she's safe enough, considering the circumstances, you focus on the three red spandexes who are still upright. You hop from foot to foot, energy crackling all over your body now. You [6 -> 6] You dash towards the first one, faster than anyone expects you to be. You uppercut him, feeling the crunch of his jaw breaking and sending him flying back a few feet. You spin around and punch the second one in the stomach, sending him toppling over. The third spandex dude is looking pretty scared right now. You gather your remaining strenght and focus it all in the next punch.
You shoot forward like a goddamn jet and hit him right in the chest. The poor guys goes flying back, through one of the large ornamental windows. If this were a movie, this is the part where we'd have a nice slow-mo shot of the guy going wide eyed through the glass and falling down with a pleading expression over some sad music. Instead, he just dissapears over the edge and there a wet smack heard a few seconds later.
The two green spandex dudes have subdued their enemies as well.
"Master, what shall we do with these two?"
((metal gear reference lolololoolol 
))
Goes with team2. Summon Tower shield.
You form up with team two and head east. [4+1] You summon a sturdy tower shield, nice. The guys keep in formation, two at the front and two at the sides with you bringing up the rear.
A few streets in, you all hear screaming. The team goes into a crouch and shoulders their rifles before stacking up near the edge of a building. The front guy uses a small mirror to peek around the corner.
"Two civilians, one male one female. Male is on the ground, multiple arrow wounds. Woman is held by hostiles. I spot six. Four with swords, two with crossbows, wearing chainmail or some shit. New guy, you wanna lead this or should we just go with the flow?"
"EVERYONE FREEZE!"
Hit the knights with my stun baton
You run past the cop to the knights and shout at them. They clearly weren't expecting someone rushing at them from the side. You [3+1] Hit one of the knights in the shoulder. The shock from the stun baton sends him convulsing to the floor. The knight beside him tries to take a swipe at you. [5] vs [6 -> 4] The guy aims true, but even his perfectly aimed swipe is no match for your apex senses. You block his sword arm with your left arm, stopping it dead mid-swing. You press the stun button again and jam the baton between his helmet and breastplate. The guy goes stiff as you shock him for a few seconds before sliding to the ground in a heap of chainmail. You flinch as you hear three gunshots behind you. Looking back, the third knight tried to charge the cop as you were attacking, but the cop appears to have done a mozambique drill no the guy.
((A guardian spirit would be nice.))
"Looks like it's time to establish air superiority."
Do I have ranged attacks? If so, fire a warning shot while on approach. If not, get up in his grill and politely ask him to land. Watch our for arrows, teeth, tails, poison, and claws. If he shoots first, tackle him off the wyvern.
You don't, actually.
You fly close to the guy and ask him if he could please pull over and show his invasion documents. The guy babbles something in a weird language and pulls away from you steadying his wyvern in the air some distance away and knocking an arrow.
"Bùshǔ wǔqì"He looses the arrow. For a moment, the suit moves itself. In your right hand, a greenish Guandao materializes. The suit uses it to knock the arrow out of the air. The guy, clearly not happy with his arrow being knocked out, gains some altitude and begins charging you with his wyvern.
It seems the Heimlich alone won't be enough. I'll have to innovate!
Simultaneously perform the Heimlich maneuver and a power-slam on the creature.
Not to be deterred from your god given mission to heilich everything, you brace yourself for another try. [3+1] You spread your legs and squeeze your arms as hard as you can. What follows is something worthy of the very best wrestling matches. You heimlich the creature hard enough that it starts spewing out greenish fluid, while you're also doing what's basically a suplex. This all results in a nice rainbow of green fluid arcing through the air and the creature getting its head cracked onto the concrete.
The street is filthy, the creature has been heimlich'd and is knocked out. Today, is a good day.
Oh, and also. I still have that backpack full o' gun, right? I'd like to gift it to Beo, the amazing gun store owner.
Actually, I equip my sidekick with the guns from the backpack. Ol' gunstore gunman will have to wait.
Consider it done.
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Topic: Roll to Vigilante Heroes: spuds and failure, a regional dish (Read 52991 times)