Post by: Crossroads Inc. on April 04, 2012, 07:56:32 pm
You are at a Mountain!
You have picks, supplies, food for the winter, ere the Wolves grow hungry.
How would the population of the forums deal with a Dwarfish World?
Who would be the leaders?
What would be built or dug?
And most important of all... What would the NAME Of the fort be?
BayForm? Fortress Bay? Baynet?
YOU CHOOSE!
Post by: Ultimuh on April 04, 2012, 07:59:58 pm
How would the population of the forums deal with a Dwarfish World?
"Oh carp! How did I even get here?"
"IMGONNADIEIMGONNADIE!"
Post by: Vanaheimer on April 04, 2012, 08:00:46 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 04, 2012, 08:02:11 pm
First order of business, building myself a torture chamber / spike pit.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 04, 2012, 08:02:52 pm
THE MOLTEN COGS! STRIKE THE EARTH!
ToadyOne the Great + Threetoe, legendary soap makers
Post by: GaxkangtheUnbound on April 04, 2012, 08:04:27 pm
As for the fort name, it will probably have the word "Rape" in it.
Post by: Girlinhat on April 04, 2012, 08:04:54 pm
Firstly, massive booze production.
Secondly... we're not actually sure. Once we're all hammered then nature will take its course.
Post by: Kofthefens on April 04, 2012, 08:07:42 pm
I'm pretty sure the results of a community-driven fort would be a massive mermaid/sea serpent/shark farm, a giant phallus, and unmarked levers triggering doomsday devices.
Don't forget magma, elf traps, and HFS clothing sweatshops.
Post by: KodKod on April 04, 2012, 08:08:15 pm
Call it the 12 Bays of Forever.
THE MOLTEN COGS! STRIKE THE EARTH!
ToadyOne the Great + Threetoe, legendary soap makers
Well with you there at least we'd have a Legendary +5 Conversationalist.
Post by: kenpoaj on April 04, 2012, 08:08:56 pm
Kenpoaj has gone stark raving mad!
Post by: wierd on April 04, 2012, 08:16:36 pm
here.. let's do it this way:
Weird Joykill is a former member of the Bay12 Forumites, the forums of madness. His slightly curly brown hair is somewhat long. His free lobed ears are somewhat large. His very long nose is somewhat wide. His aquamarine eyes have flecks of yellow, and are lightly sunken. His pronounced cheekbones are high. His overbitten jaw is somewhat wide. His somewhat jutting chin is cleft. The left side of his nose has a small straight scar. The inside of his right thigh has 3 deep purple scars. His right hip has 5 faded slashing scars. His left thigh has a single faded scar. His left hip has 2 faded slashing scars. His right forearm has a round, prominent scar. His cheeks are cleanly shaved. His bear is trimmed short. His mustache is trimmed short.
Weird Joykill is 30 years old, born 27 July, 1982. He is not a worshiper of any dieties. Weird Joykill likes steel, native aluminum, copper, and cats for their aloofness. Whenever possible, he prefers to consume beef, chicken, and plump helmets. He prefers to drink prickeberry wine and sunshine. He absolutely detests large roaches.
He has a firm grasp of literature, a strong interest in sciences and facts, a moderate sense of art, and normal musical ability, but has poor patience for stupidity in others, a poor sense of social situations, and a strong dislike of authority. He doesn't mind woring outdoors and complains only mildly about inclement weather. He needs alcohol to get through the working day.
A short hardy creature fond of food and drink.
Primary skills:
Glassworker
Cook
Mechanics
Architecture
Judge of intent
Liar
Post by: Itnetlolor on April 04, 2012, 08:22:15 pm
Post by: wierd on April 04, 2012, 08:26:35 pm
Post by: Ultimuh on April 04, 2012, 08:26:57 pm
Oh crap. At least Necro isn't around to unleash 777!!!!! at first sight.
There's plenty of other Magma happy forumites around.
Now of you excuse me.. I have a bunker to dig and burrow myself into!
Post by: KodKod on April 04, 2012, 08:28:19 pm
Let’s be honest, dwarves aren’t much to look at, and if video games and media have taught me anything it’s that elven women, alongside being elves, are stick thin with absolutely zero curves in the right places.
KodKod needs a nice human companion.
Post by: wierd on April 04, 2012, 08:30:50 pm
Weird Joykill cancels create green glass pot. Taken by mood.
Weird Joykill has claimed a glassworks!
(Stands around inside screaming.)
Post by: kaijyuu on April 04, 2012, 08:32:18 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 04, 2012, 08:32:42 pm
Call it the 12 Bays of Forever.
THE MOLTEN COGS! STRIKE THE EARTH!
ToadyOne the Great + Threetoe, legendary soap makers
Well with you there at least we'd have a Legendary +5 Conversationalist.
Instant mayor ftw.
Loud Whispers has mandated the construction of several trillion slade statues of cheese.
Post by: Wannazzaki on April 04, 2012, 08:33:35 pm
Wannazzaki has gone stark raving mad!
Post by: Talvieno on April 04, 2012, 08:34:01 pm
Honestly, could we be a goblin dark fortress? That'd be fun. I could be one of the humans they've captured and turned to their evil ways. Goblins seem smarter than dwarves sometimes, anyway.
Plus, goblins are inherently evil. That appeals to me somehow.
Post by: wierd on April 04, 2012, 08:34:29 pm
Post by: Garath on April 04, 2012, 08:36:10 pm
Quote
Firstly, massive booze production.
Secondly... we're not actually sure. Once we're all hammered then nature will take its course.
I can brew!
Post by: Talvieno on April 04, 2012, 08:37:53 pm
QuoteFirstly, massive booze production.
Secondly... we're not actually sure. Once we're all hammered then nature will take its course.
I can brew!
There we go, now we have a brewer. And Loud Whispers would definitely wind up being the mayor... At which point we'd probably be screwed. Which would be Fun.
Post by: Ultimuh on April 04, 2012, 08:38:56 pm
Post by: Teneb on April 04, 2012, 08:40:09 pm
I'd also vote LW for mayor.
The fort would be named The Twelfth Bay as stated above. Obviously.
I also have no idea where this thread will end up resulting in.
Post by: Gizogin on April 04, 2012, 08:41:23 pm
My hospital would be incredibly well-stocked, with its own private reservoir of the freshest water and its own private larder. It would have space for fifty dwarves at a time in luxurious comfort. My medical staff would be five of the finest dwarven doctors, handpicked by me.
Of course, it wouldn't do to let my staff and I sit idle and forget all our training, would it? That's why we'd surreptitiously set up random spike traps throughout the fortress, to keep us in practice.
Infections are always a problem, even in the most advanced of facilities. That's why, in addition to the usual soap, the hospital would be linked up to a magma tank. When the floors, beds, and tables become too dirty with blood, vomit, pus, and wounded soldiers, I'd flood the entire hospital and burn the contaminants away.
Post by: wierd on April 04, 2012, 08:41:39 pm
"I must have metal bars!"
"I must have raw glass!"
'I must have cut gems!"
"I must have body parts!"
"I must have wooden logs!"
Post by: Wannazzaki on April 04, 2012, 08:42:15 pm
I, Deathsword, would like to become the Sheriff andrepress all tantrums with envious quantities of violenceimprove morale!
I'd also vote LW for mayor.
The fort would be named The Twelfth Bay as stated above. Obviously.
I also have no idea where this thread will end up resulting in.
I would request that his humble nutter throw the horns at the bitchin' chaos lord of an avatar, sherrif Deathsword >.>
Post by: acetech09 on April 04, 2012, 08:44:51 pm
What if we hold a 'live fortress', where nominated bay12 forumites* would get on a live stream and all work together on building a fortress. One person would be designated for actually running it at any one point, and the rest watch and give ideas.
*Or some other method of choosing players. Obviously, not everybody that wants to do it could participate.
We could have a simple but difficult goal - something like growing 100 strawberries on the floor of the circus while becoming the mountainhome in the shortest amount of time possible. That would probably be very educational for watchers, and fun for the players.
Ideas? Yay/Neigh?
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 04, 2012, 08:45:45 pm
Gizogin, Chief Medical Dwarf is here!
The finest in eye-removal corkscrew technologies!
I think elevating Threetoe and ToadyOne to deity status would make sense. I could just imagine them going around bestowing *gifts* like vampirism and were-fluffballs for shits and giggles :P
Post by: Teneb on April 04, 2012, 08:46:05 pm
Post by: Girlinhat on April 04, 2012, 08:47:08 pm
Post by: acetech09 on April 04, 2012, 08:47:22 pm
EDIT: I'll create a simple thread for the idea mentioned earlier.
Post by: Garath on April 04, 2012, 08:49:19 pm
Quote
I think elevating Threetoe and ToadyOne to deity status would make sense.
they are not deities, they are creators, stop lumping them with inferior creatures.
Post by: Ultimuh on April 04, 2012, 08:50:31 pm
they are not deities, they are creators, stop lumping them with inferior creatures.
Be careful with your words.
The great kitten in the sky will hear you.
Post by: Talvieno on April 04, 2012, 08:51:02 pm
Huh. I just got an idea.
What if we hold a 'live fortress', where nominated bay12 forumites* would get on a live stream and all work together on building a fortress. One person would be designated for actually running it at any one point, and the rest watch and give ideas.
*Or some other method of choosing players. Obviously, not everybody that wants to do it could participate.
We could have a simple but difficult goal - something like growing 100 strawberries on the floor of the circus while becoming the mountainhome in the shortest amount of time possible. That would probably be very educational for watchers, and fun for the players.
Ideas? Yay/Neigh?
Hmmm... Sounds like a livestream succession fort. I dunno, that's a bit harder to record and kinda lacks the storytelling quality. Still sounds fun, though.
I think elevating Threetoe and ToadyOne to deity status would make sense. I could just imagine them going around bestowing *gifts* like vampirism and were-fluffballs for shits and giggles :PThis I support wholeheartedly. Long live the gods of The Twelfth Bay! We've never been in for a more Fun time!
I'm probably the miner who winds up digging himself into a stuck spot 10 z-levels up in a newb's fortress where he attempted to channel straight down in a large square, 15 z-levels in height... I'll survive, though, when I stupidly dig out the marble beneath me - I'll land with a soft bump on the head of some random person, all the way down. Though stunned, I'll survive. I feel bad for the random dwarf, though. At least I'm not that heavy, right?
Post by: Garath on April 04, 2012, 08:52:30 pm
The great kitten in the sky won't take such words kindly.
it can explain so to my war dog x 34
Post by: wierd on April 04, 2012, 08:55:16 pm
...
Weird Joykill has created StatueRiot, the refusal of cheeses, a crystal glass statue!
L,
Statueriot, the refusal of cheeses
This is a masterfully made crystal glass statue of Loud Whispers. All artwork is of the highest
quality. Loud whispers is being pelted with cheeses. The artwork relates to the absurd mandate for slade statues of cheeses by the mayor Loud Whispers in the spring of 2012. On the item is an image of goblins and magma in copper. The goblins are on fire. On the object is an image of loud whispers and elves in jade. Loud whispers is kissing the elves. The image relates to the secret tryst of loud whispers with the elf buxxomia thong leathers in the spring of 2012. On the ite is an image of trees in highwood. The trees are burning. The image relates to the ecological devistation of the elven retreat of oolongipoop by the erupting volcano at boat murdered. On the item is an image of carp and a dwarven baby in cat bone. The carp are eating the baby.
Post by: Urist Da Vinci on April 04, 2012, 08:57:01 pm
Building Designer (architect labor)
Organizer
Record Keeper
Mechanic
Siege Engineer
Siege Operator
so I'd psychically track/predict the number of items in the fort, quantum-entangle the mechanisms, and design the
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 04, 2012, 09:00:04 pm
The great kitten in the sky won't take such words kindly.
it can explain so to my war dog x 34
No amount of war dogs can halt the onslaughts of immortal scamps.
Loud whispers is kissing the elves
Post by: wierd on April 04, 2012, 09:00:40 pm
Why do you guys do this when I am at work and can't turn it on?!
(Concerning the heated showers)
Who me? I'm the only legendary glassworker in the whole fort! You like cheap, inexpensive barrels right? Who else is going to spam production of raw green glass for our jeweler?!
Post by: Teneb on April 04, 2012, 09:02:20 pm
Unfortunately, dwarf justice does not consider elf-loving or slander to be crimes. Not that that would stop any noble from executing someone for it.Loud whispers is kissing the elvesOh that's low.You have been given an oppurtunity to visit themagmabath houses! Congratulations!
Post by: Talvieno on April 04, 2012, 09:03:49 pm
You forget - Loud Whispers IS the mayor. Still, I suppose it could initiate a tantrum spiral - I know that I, for one, would be angry at finding something like that out. Then someone tantruming could throw a fluffy wambler at him.Unfortunately, dwarf justice does not consider elf-loving or slander to be crimes. Not that that would stop any noble from executing someone for it.Loud whispers is kissing the elvesOh that's low.You have been given an oppurtunity to visit themagmabath houses! Congratulations!
Post by: KodKod on April 04, 2012, 09:05:25 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 04, 2012, 09:08:38 pm
Post by: Teneb on April 04, 2012, 09:09:51 pm
"Odd, why are the walls suddenly warmer."That? Oh it's just the... heating system. Yeah. Nothing to worry about.
Post by: Crossroads Inc. on April 04, 2012, 09:27:40 pm
As overlord of the thread, if IF A community Multi game shall come of this... I herby Decree whatever map is picked MUST have the following!!!
*Volcano!
*50 to 60 zLevel mountain
*River, not just a nampy pamby stream, but a river with CARP and SPONGES
Additional points will be awarded if such a site can be found with:
*Freezing weather in winter.
*Evil or Sinister biome
*A "Curious Underground Structure"
Post by: Old Greg on April 04, 2012, 09:31:17 pm
Either that, or the minute someone suspects a vampire, we'd all systematically murder each other out of suspicion.
Post by: wierd on April 04, 2012, 09:37:34 pm
Nonsense!
Lock him in the ubliette for a few years until his clothes rot off, he goes berzerk from being naked, and then we can turn him loose on the outside world!
Post by: Kofthefens on April 04, 2012, 09:51:42 pm
Expert Potter
Skilled glass maker
Accomplished record keeper
Talented organizer
Adept grower
Expert siege engineer
Post by: IT 000 on April 04, 2012, 09:56:23 pm
And if you lackey's don't like how I roll, I will make a giant network of pumps that spews out a system of binary to mod the world and make every single one of you sober manwerepigs.
By the way, Lord Whispers you're in the military now, pick up your stick and go pound on that sponge for a few seasons.
Post by: Urist Da Vinci on April 04, 2012, 09:59:49 pm
And waste a perfectly good vampire!?
Nonsense!
Lock him in the ubliette for a few years until his clothes rot off, he goes berzerk from being naked, and then we can turn him loose on the outside world!
If we entomb a vampire, and he doesn't go berserk, it will make the fort live nearly forever no matter what happens to everyone else.
Post by: Cusi on April 04, 2012, 10:09:02 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 04, 2012, 10:10:07 pm
I want to be an herbalist! I can pick flowers, and plants, and lots of bee friends to befriend ... did you see that there? ;)
Who let the elf into the fortress?
Post by: kaijyuu on April 04, 2012, 10:10:51 pm
Post by: wierd on April 04, 2012, 10:11:56 pm
Post by: SRD on April 04, 2012, 10:12:31 pm
Post by: Mapleguy555 on April 04, 2012, 10:19:44 pm
Mapleguy555 has become enraged.
Mapleguy555 kicks the dwarf king SRD.
SRD falls into the 5x5 well/pit.
Mapleguy555 is no longer enraged.
Post by: SRD on April 04, 2012, 10:21:14 pm
dwarf king SRD sentences MapleGuy555 to execution for attempted assassination and treason.
MapleGuy555 is forced to kill himself.
Mapleguy555 has been struck down.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 04, 2012, 10:42:16 pm
By the way, Lord Whispers you're in the military now, pick up your stick and go pound on that sponge for a few seasons.
*Legendary SwordsDorf*
Post by: SRD on April 04, 2012, 10:43:44 pm
Post by: wierd on April 04, 2012, 10:47:32 pm
Makes all the difference!
I'm guessing sword. Woodie sticks get put in the upright spike dodge-em course.
Post by: Gizogin on April 04, 2012, 10:48:58 pm
dwarf king SRD with a broken pinkietoe climbs out.
ALERT! ALERT!
Medical staff! We have a broken toe! This is not a drill!
I'm afraid we'll have to amputate the spleen.
I'm not going to lie to you, this is going to be our most challenging operation yet. The bronchial tract is completely inflamed, the metatarsals are swollen, and I don't like the look of that epiglottis. I can't promise he'll survive the procedure; in fact, I estimate only a 36% chance of success. That won't stop us, though! We're dwarves, and by Armok we'll plunge wildly into that subject's body cavity!
Post by: SRD on April 04, 2012, 10:50:21 pm
Wait, the spleens not in my head..
WHAT ARE YOU DOING AHASGHWQGHHAGDSHJGAEADS
~Dwarf king SRD now speaks in tongues and twitches
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 04, 2012, 11:01:11 pm
Post by: billybobfred on April 04, 2012, 11:38:36 pm
Yeah, I just kinda, took all the crap stone from the dump and made crafts and things out of it. Hope that's okay?
Post by: zombie urist on April 05, 2012, 12:01:55 am
Post by: Sabreur on April 05, 2012, 12:12:17 am
Sabreur: "Uh... Does computer science count as mechanisms or something?"
Expedition Leader: "No. Your resume shows 'Novice Swordsdwarf (Rusty)'."
Sabreur: "Yeah, I took a year of Fencing in college... but that was years ago."
Expedition Leader: "You're drafted. Get to the barracks. You can smooth walls on your off-duty time or something."
Sabreur: "Eh, beats being a hauler."
*6 months later*
Girlinhat: "GET BACK IN THE DANGER ROOM. OUR DOCTOR NEEDS MORE TRAINING."
Sabreur: "C.. can I have armor this time?"
Girlinhat: "NO."
Sabreur: "But I'm already missing an arm, three teeth, and an eye..."
Girlinhat: "THE TUESDAY WERE-BADGER EXPERIMENT WILL FIX THAT."
Sabreur: "Ffffffffff...."
Apologies to Girlinhat, but if anybody is going to commit !!Science!! on a fellow Bay12 member it's probably you. :-)
Post by: Talvieno on April 05, 2012, 12:32:50 am
Sabreur, I have to agree... Girlinhat would be the most likely, yeah, but for everyone not directly involved, it would be a fun, knowledgeable experiment... fun with a lower case F. :P For those directly involved, the F goes capital. Even so, if the poor dwarves involved knew what they were participating in, they'd probably think it was awesome, too.
Post by: Corai on April 05, 2012, 12:34:31 am
Post by: Johuotar on April 05, 2012, 12:39:08 am
I'd be in dining hall waiting for something to haul.
Johuotatar has been unhappy lately. He migrated into the fortress recently. He has been complaining on the lack of chairs recently.
Post by: Corai on April 05, 2012, 12:46:25 am
While I’m all in favour of death for breakfast I think that we’d need to introduce a “no killing the humans” rule.
Let’s be honest, dwarves aren’t much to look at, and if video games and media have taught me anything it’s that elven women, alongside being elves, are stick thin with absolutely zero curves in the right places.
KodKod needs a nice human companion.
My mistress, what media do you watch? I see elves as living-beauty due to these modern-media.
Post by: KodKod on April 05, 2012, 12:50:39 am
My mistress, what media do you watch? I see elves as living-beauty due to these modern-media.
Everything? I dunno, name an elf who isn't stick thin. They all look like you could snap them if you sneezed in their direction, although that could work in our favour.
Pepper for everyone!
Post by: Corai on April 05, 2012, 12:53:12 am
My mistress, what media do you watch? I see elves as living-beauty due to these modern-media.
Everything? I dunno, name an elf who isn't stick thin. They all look like you could snap them if you sneezed in their direction, although that could work in our favour.
Pepper for everyone!
Elves are thin, thats what mades them look nice. Nice and stupid.
Post by: KodKod on April 05, 2012, 12:56:08 am
Bah, no. I'll take average anyday. No weight range associated with those smug, tree-worshipping cannibals.
Post by: Corai on April 05, 2012, 12:57:28 am
Thin? Nice?
Bah, no. I'll take average anyday. No weight range associated with those smug, tree-worshipping cannibals.
You must admit, elves are your best friends if you dont use wood. There the most forgiving. Weakness is obvious.
Post by: King DZA on April 05, 2012, 01:03:35 am
Ohh no, fuck that. Come on, let's go see if we can find a motel or something...
Post by: Talvieno on April 05, 2012, 01:04:31 am
Post by: RAKninja on April 05, 2012, 01:10:16 am
i'll free all of the children.
Post by: Corai on April 05, 2012, 01:18:46 am
i'm that master thief, sneaking around on your map.
i'll free all of the children.
Please free me. I'll be at the dining hall at midnight.
Post by: JoshBrickstien on April 05, 2012, 01:19:26 am
Post by: Talvieno on April 05, 2012, 01:26:23 am
Post by: MuseOD on April 05, 2012, 01:39:11 am
Sjammar Uristnom is 16 years old and one of the first of his kind. He has long black hair and almond shaped eyes. His beard is shorn short and fuzzly. He is relatively strong and unsociable. He is friendly, yet most people dislike him and he is easy to anger. He excells at literature and chemistry. He likes bronze and marble, elms for their seeds, cats for their aloofness and kobolds for their adorable snouts. He is in awe of Kodkod and is a worshipper of no-one. He likes to consume when possible, lamb, strawberry wine and sweet pods. He enjoys hitting things with his hammer.
Specs:
Adept Brewer
Adequate Mason
Adequate Engraver
He carries on his person a bronze warhammer with the image of a kitten in emerald.
Post by: Corai on April 05, 2012, 01:41:02 am
I can brew, I can kinda sculpt and engrave, but I'm really good at writing stories which equates to....I don't know.
Sjammar Uristnom is 16 years old and one of the first of his kind. He has long black hair and almond shaped eyes. His beard is shorn short and fuzzly. He is relatively strong and unsociable. He is friendly, yet most people dislike him and he is easy to anger. He excells at literature and chemistry. He likes bronze and marble, elms for their seeds, cats for their aloofness and kobolds for their adorable snouts. He is in awe of Kodkod and is a worshipper of no-one. He likes to consume when possible, lamb, strawberry wine and sweet pods. He enjoys hitting things with his hammer.
Specs:
Adept Brewer
Adequate Mason
Adequate Engraver
He carries on his person a bronze warhammer with the image of a kitten in emerald.
A bronze warhammer has been stolen!
Post by: MuseOD on April 05, 2012, 01:45:45 am
Sjammar Uristnom goes to the mayor and demands the return of his hammer, or otherwise horrible things will happen to everyone.
Post by: Corai on April 05, 2012, 01:46:33 am
Sjammar Uristnom is enraged.
Sjammar Uristnom goes to the mayor and demands the return of his hammer, or otherwise horrible things will happen to everyone.
The mayor has been found dead, drained of all blood!
Post by: Eric Blank on April 05, 2012, 02:02:55 am
I'd end up in the stoneworker's guild. Hopefully Head Stoneworker at some point, specializing in all five branches of stoneworking; masonry, engraving, mining, architecture, and stonecrafting. I will have ALL OF THE ROCKS!
Except pitchblend. That can be thrown in the fission chamber with the goblins and the adamantine-armored axedwarves.
And of course I will demand a section of stone away from the main dorms and industries to call my own, where I will collect cats, kobolds, and captured women. And of course my own special brand of bizarrechitecture.
I'll just have to learn to produce mechanical locks Girlinhat can't crack (and learn to work slade into my walls...) or they might steal my captives for !!SCIENCE!! and !!FUN!!
Post by: Sabreur on April 05, 2012, 02:06:35 am
Nobody wants to be a military dwarf? Does The Twelfth Bay really have no military?
For the love of Armok, let me out of the danger room already! I'm running out of blood!
Post by: Fen on April 05, 2012, 02:13:05 am
It would probably be rather chaotic, but largely beneficial, because we would not fall prey to dwarven idiocy, unless being dwarves lowers our intelligences quite a lot. Eventually we would probably elevate veteran forumgoers into positions of authority and since they know what they're doing, the fort would be largely successful as long as civil war doesn't break out.
That said, I would probably be content to tuck myself away in the mines and smooth the walls and floors, finally finishing only to begin engraving on them.
I will emerge a fantastic engraver and make pictures of basically anything all over the fort proper so everyone has something to look at other than hunks of rock and soil on all sides.
It'll take a few years, but don't worry guys. You'll all have wonderful pictures of cheeses and heroes striking down elves in all your bedrooms.
As far as the fort on a whole, it would probably be fairly shit for a long time as people settle into the whole world-as-dwarf-fortress thing, learn skills they'll need, construct the fortress proper and the various workshops, tools, and items we'll require, all that stuff. But after a couple years when everyone's used to it, it would be the badassest fort in all existence and would be nigh-unkillable.
Then some ass will breech HFS for shits and giggles, but it'll be okay because all of us will be danger-room'd into supreme fighting fitness.
Even the children.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 05, 2012, 02:15:24 am
+1 for multiplayer. Let's see some hilarity.
Post by: Corai on April 05, 2012, 02:18:45 am
Actually, the thought of all the forumites becoming a singular fortress is an interesting concept. Supposing we maintain free will, memories, etc, since it wouldn't be us if we didn't have those, we would less take orders from some unknown outside source and -decide- to do things individually.
It would probably be rather chaotic, but largely beneficial, because we would not fall prey to dwarven idiocy, unless being dwarves lowers our intelligences quite a lot. Eventually we would probably elevate veteran forumgoers into positions of authority and since they know what they're doing, the fort would be largely successful as long as civil war doesn't break out.
That said, I would probably be content to tuck myself away in the mines and smooth the walls and floors, finally finishing only to begin engraving on them.
I will emerge a fantastic engraver and make pictures of basically anything all over the fort proper so everyone has something to look at other than hunks of rock and soil on all sides.
It'll take a few years, but don't worry guys. You'll all have wonderful pictures of cheeses and heroes striking down elves in all your bedrooms.
As far as the fort on a whole, it would probably be fairly shit for a long time as people settle into the whole world-as-dwarf-fortress thing, learn skills they'll need, construct the fortress proper and the various workshops, tools, and items we'll require, all that stuff. But after a couple years when everyone's used to it, it would be the badassest fort in all existence and would be nigh-unkillable.
Then some ass will breech HFS for shits and giggles, but it'll be okay because all of us will be danger-room'd into supreme fighting fitness.
Even the children.
We dont have any tools, we'd just poof out of nowhere, no tools. Plus goblins...
Post by: Johuotar on April 05, 2012, 02:26:51 am
Post by: RAKninja on April 05, 2012, 02:37:34 am
Corai has been abducted!i'm that master thief, sneaking around on your map.
i'll free all of the children.
Please free me. I'll be at the dining hall at midnight.
Post by: Fen on April 05, 2012, 02:38:59 am
Honestly I'd rather that last one be true, just to watch that process happen.
Post by: Ubiq on April 05, 2012, 02:44:32 am
Post by: Nyotor Lizardhammers on April 05, 2012, 02:55:32 am
Plus nobody is going to mess with the guy who can sic 84 war dogs and 8 Giant Cave Spiders at the snap of a finger
Post by: flieroflight on April 05, 2012, 03:07:11 am
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaathud
Post by: ImBocaire on April 05, 2012, 03:08:31 am
Post by: miauw62 on April 05, 2012, 03:24:37 am
Myself probably miner, tough that wouldnt end very well ;p
Who doesnt love miners, anyway?
Awesome in the military, too!
Post by: Rawb on April 05, 2012, 03:38:55 am
Post by: Zaerosz on April 05, 2012, 03:47:27 am
Post by: EmperorJon on April 05, 2012, 03:55:22 am
Post by: Naryar on April 05, 2012, 04:01:53 am
Novice Dodger
Novice Fighter
Novice Speardwarf
Adequate Mechanic
Adequate Furnace Operator
Adequate Metalsmith
Mostly guard duty at the entry of the fortress, with some trap maintenance as well at sometimes travelling to the magma forges to help the specialist metalworkers.
*filling cage trap at Z-level -25*
Naryar cancels Load Cage Trap : Interrupted by Giant Cave Spider
AAAAH OH ARMOK HELP ME I CAN'T BEAT A WEBBER IN MELEE
*climbs 25 Z-levels in a blink and goes back to outside sentry post with renewed enthusiasm*
Post by: Simokon on April 05, 2012, 04:02:34 am
Post by: hjd_uk on April 05, 2012, 04:28:30 am
Post by: SRD on April 05, 2012, 04:35:19 am
Post by: AleAndSteel on April 05, 2012, 05:04:20 am
Sign me up as a SPEARDWARF.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on April 05, 2012, 05:14:24 am
Post by: Stil on April 05, 2012, 05:19:40 am
Post by: Gizogin on April 05, 2012, 06:43:01 am
I call position of chief medical dwarf with a personality that makes him never diagnose anything.
I'm afraid you're about 4 pages too late. I might be able to sign you up as part of my medical staff, though; what medical skills do you possess?
Did I hear that our mayor was drained of his vital fluids? This is my time to shine! Quick, get me 6ccs of milk, ten wild strawberries, and a pitcher of booze! Then, after I'm done with lunch, scrape up all the spilled fluids from the danger rooms. We need to make a transfusion!
Post by: Garath on April 05, 2012, 06:45:02 am
Garath McBrewer cancels brew, admires corpse
Post by: Kibstable on April 05, 2012, 06:51:49 am
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 05, 2012, 07:40:04 am
Nobody wants to be a military dwarf? Does The Twelfth Bay really have no military?
Well I was a legendary SwordsDorf mayor, until some random bloke spread jam all over my jugular.
Now I'm a ghosty necromancer! How well things turn out.
Post by: MonkeyHead on April 05, 2012, 07:42:59 am
Post by: Ultimuh on April 05, 2012, 08:25:20 am
Fully furnished.. now I need food and drink supplies to last at least five years..
Post by: Urist_McUristson on April 05, 2012, 08:34:04 am
Post by: Ultimuh on April 05, 2012, 08:39:44 am
*Runs into his bunker and pulls the bridge lever.*
Should be safe.. only got food and drink for a few days tough..
Hmm.. perhaps I should smoothen up the place bit while
I'm waiting for the others to take care of that thing..
Post by: HorridOwn4ge on April 05, 2012, 08:53:54 am
I like swords, dogs, Obsidian, Elephant leather, and One-horned monkey soot devils for their maliciousness.
Horrid mandates a Elephant leather sword!
Post by: Nyotor Lizardhammers on April 05, 2012, 11:03:29 am
If the bay12 forums were a mountainhome im certain there would be Candy statues and pools of vomit and crundle bones in every corner.You forgot socks
I forgot I'm actually also a skilled archer irl, so I guess I'd make a good hunter / backup marksdwarf as well? I can't stay in the military too long, someone has to keep those animals in line, lest the giant cave spiders go feral and web the fort to death.
Perhaps I should invest in a summerhome for when things go to... you know.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 05, 2012, 11:05:28 am
Perhaps I should invest in a summerhome for when things go to... you know.
*Moving carpet of zombies in the horizon*
Post by: SRD on April 05, 2012, 11:08:35 am
I love.... Desk...
ZOMBIE OHSHI-
Post by: Talvieno on April 05, 2012, 11:09:54 am
I'll be a Baron!Bad things happen to nobles...
@Gizogin - lol again.
As a miner/mason, I'm going to construct large pointless architectural works of art (stadiums, cathedrals) without anyone giving me permission. I hope nobody minds. ...also, as I can only haul one sock at a time, and there will be socks littering the fields after our goblin battles, it may take me a while to clear a spot.
Post by: Garath on April 05, 2012, 11:10:41 am
Post by: Oliolli on April 05, 2012, 11:11:19 am
*rubs black eye*
Me, I'd probably become a butcher. I don't know how it's done, but I could learn :D
Or an axedorf. Don't know that either, but I could learn.
Writer, reader, comedian, mechanic, pump operator... alchemist? Since gunpowder weapons wouldn't be available, my knowledge of them would be useless :-\
Been ninja'd 3 times while writing this...
EDIT: Maybe I could learn smithing?
Post by: SRD on April 05, 2012, 11:11:56 am
Post by: Oliolli on April 05, 2012, 11:12:48 am
Burning kittens got old.. So I burn mine, save them, burn them again, save them, then burn them and drop them 50zlevels into a pit of booze.
*Grabs SRD's other kitten and drags it into butcher's shop*
"This way is much easier."
Post by: SRD on April 05, 2012, 11:14:17 am
"Awwwwww look at its eyes"
"Awww its purring at me"
"Aww- DIE BITCH DIE."
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 05, 2012, 11:16:55 am
"Me."
Post by: KodKod on April 05, 2012, 11:18:24 am
KodKod would definitely be a master striker...
*rubs black eye*
Oh please, you give me too little credit. You completely forgot to include Grand Master Biter, Competent Thrower, Adept Kicker, Adequate Lasher and Novice Knife User.
I s’pose I can Mechanicook too but KodKod, Scorpion Pit Overseer is much more useful.
Post by: SRD on April 05, 2012, 11:19:13 am
Post by: Talvieno on April 05, 2012, 11:20:10 am
I s’pose I can Mechanicook too but KodKod, Scorpion Pit Overseer is much more useful.Funny, that's the same job title I give some of my nobles on occasion...
EDIT:
Your hickeys must make people bleed to death.That's called a vampire, SRD. :P
Post by: Garath on April 05, 2012, 11:27:15 am
Post by: Talvieno on April 05, 2012, 11:29:47 am
Post by: SRD on April 05, 2012, 11:31:29 am
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 05, 2012, 11:33:30 am
Then digging deeper.
Post by: Gizogin on April 05, 2012, 11:34:50 am
It'd be a lot harder to start science threads, if Bay12 Forum was a mountain hall. :(
How's that?
Anyway, I'm going to need a team of stoneworkers, mechanics, and architects. I have a... project that I need done.
Applicants must not have any fear of heights. Or of spikes.
My medical staff and I will be on site throughout construction in case of accidents, but I can assure you all that the utmost attention will be paid to prevent any unwanted casualties.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on April 05, 2012, 11:44:36 am
It'd be a lot harder to start science threads, if Bay12 Forum was a mountain hall. :(
How's that?
Well, you see
ThatAussieGuy cancels explanation: On Break
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 05, 2012, 11:45:55 am
Post by: SRD on April 05, 2012, 11:46:32 am
ThatAussieGuy cancels explanation: Eating
ThatAussieGuy cancels explanation: Drinking
ThatAussieGuy cancels explanation: Sleeping
ThatAussieGuy cancels explanation: On Break
ThatAussieGuy cancels explanation: Eating
ThatAussieGuy cancels explanation: Drinking
ThatAussieGuy cancels explanation: Sleeping
ThatAussieGuy cancels explanation: On Break
Post by: Talvieno on April 05, 2012, 11:47:42 am
It'd be a lot harder to start science threads, if Bay12 Forum was a mountain hall. :(
How's that?
Hmm... I suppose that we could simply engrave our "threads" on walls. That should raise the fortress value substantially. I know if I went over to the mayor's house and engraved the outer walls with DF science, that would make it worth more, right?
Lmao. Not what I meant, but excellently said.It'd be a lot harder to start science threads, if Bay12 Forum was a mountain hall. :(
How's that?
Well, you see
ThatAussieGuy cancels explanation: On Break
EDIT: SRD, you forgot "Trading at Depot". Ironic, isn't it?
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 05, 2012, 11:48:32 am
Post by: Talvieno on April 05, 2012, 11:49:24 am
If we were all engravers, how much cheese would we chisel into the walls?Not that much. Who wants cheese? We want magma.
Post by: Garath on April 05, 2012, 11:53:03 am
How's that?
Anyway, I'm going to need a team of stoneworkers, mechanics, and architects. I have a... project that I need done.
Applicants must not have any fear of heights. Or of spikes.
My medical staff and I will be on site throughout construction in case of accidents, but I can assure you all that the utmost attention will be paid to prevent any unwanted casualties.
Only unwanted casualties eh?
Science has been suspended: Garath has become too suspicious.
And that is why science would be harder to do.
Post by: Talvieno on April 05, 2012, 12:02:33 pm
Spoiler: spoilered because slightly off topic (click to show/hide)
Post by: Naryar on April 05, 2012, 12:19:30 pm
It'd be a lot harder to start science threads, if Bay12 Forum was a mountain hall. :(
How's that?
Anyway, I'm going to need a team of stoneworkers, mechanics, and architects. I have a... project that I need done.
Applicants must not have any fear of heights. Or of spikes.
My medical staff and I will be on site throughout construction in case of accidents, but I can assure you all that the utmost attention will be paid to prevent any unwanted casualties.
Naryar cancels Individual Combat Training : Struck by inspiration
Mechanic reporting.
Naryar cancels Link a whatever to Lever : Pickup Equipment
Now I must just find an iron chain to NOT fall stupidly...
Post by: Gizogin on April 05, 2012, 12:25:45 pm
It'd be a lot harder to start science threads, if Bay12 Forum was a mountain hall. :(
How's that?
Anyway, I'm going to need a team of stoneworkers, mechanics, and architects. I have a... project that I need done.
Applicants must not have any fear of heights. Or of spikes.
My medical staff and I will be on site throughout construction in case of accidents, but I can assure you all that the utmost attention will be paid to prevent any unwanted casualties.
Naryar cancels Individual Combat Training : Struck by inspiration
Mechanic reporting.
Naryar cancels Link a whatever to Lever : Pickup Equipment
Now I must just find an iron chain to NOT fall stupidly...
Excellent! Now, I'll need a tower ~20 stories tall, 6x6 square, with a staircase going up the outside. Don't bother with the interior floors, they're not necessary. Also, build another 6x6 room adjacent to the base of the tower, separated from it by a glass wall with a door.
When that's done, build a retracting bridge on each floor, then link them to an array of levers in the room at the bottom.
Post by: KodKod on April 05, 2012, 12:31:46 pm
If we were all engravers, how much cheese would we chisel into the walls?
Cheese engravings, indeed.
Engraved on the wall is masterfully designed image of cheese, KodKod Psychobitch the dwarf and the dwarves of the bay12forums by KodKod. The dwarves are in a fetal position. KodKod is laughing. This artwork related to the mass poisoning of the dwarves of the bay12forums by KodKod, using Pig Cheese coated in frozen forgotten beast extract, in the early Spring of 2012.
Post by: King DZA on April 05, 2012, 12:38:27 pm
Post by: Karakzon on April 05, 2012, 12:41:19 pm
just call me Karakzon McBlackSmith.
please please let me have
5 metal bars
4 animal parts
10 cut gems
2 leather
before i mood. thank you. :)
Post by: DS on April 05, 2012, 12:53:56 pm
Post by: runlvlzero on April 05, 2012, 12:56:40 pm
Post by: Oliolli on April 05, 2012, 01:22:45 pm
You completely forgot to include Grand Master Biter, Competent Thrower, Adept Kicker, Adequate Lasher and Novice Knife User.
The reason is that you've never mentioned (or shown) any of those skills to me. I only have experience about your striker skill.
On a completely unrelated note, I've started training up my dodging skill.
Post by: KodKod on April 05, 2012, 01:26:05 pm
On a completely unrelated note, I've started training up my dodging skill.
On a completely unrelated note, do you think dwarves have the medical capacity to identify mutilated remains through dental records?
Post by: wierd on April 05, 2012, 01:31:05 pm
Its part of the ESP record keeping I think.
Now, the ideal way to do this is to jab them with a really big lancet in the neck, then dessicate the body and put it in a bed.
That way you can blame the vampire mayor, and get away with it.
If we are listing military skills.....
I am a competent scourger.
Post by: Talvieno on April 05, 2012, 01:47:21 pm
It's too bad music hasn't been directly implemented yet, because as it stands I'd probably migrate to this fortress as an Adequate Cook with a moderately high musical sense. If I ever get to be a noble, I'll probably end up mandating the construction of adamantine instruments, but more realistically I'll be enlisted into the military and die in the first siege, or be the subject of some cruel science, or end up tracking some syndrome throughout the fortress while hauling. I am the useless immigrant.
Nonsense, you're one of our best !!SCIENCE!! officers. We need you for ideas and thorough testing and research. I'll be your guinea pig. I've wound up as that in enough forum projects already. :P
EDIT:
Yes, definitely. They can identify a dwarf from a single tooth. The average dwarf is incredible in that way. They can sort out specific teeth into the correct coffins while neglecting to bring the body itself! What human could ever manage such a feat?On a completely unrelated note, I've started training up my dodging skill.
On a completely unrelated note, do you think dwarves have the medical capacity to identify mutilated remains through dental records?
Post by: RAKninja on April 05, 2012, 01:49:21 pm
but because i am indeed a goblin master thief, i still have these skills, i just use them to liberate the children.
Post by: Naryar on April 05, 2012, 01:57:06 pm
It'd be a lot harder to start science threads, if Bay12 Forum was a mountain hall. :(
How's that?
Anyway, I'm going to need a team of stoneworkers, mechanics, and architects. I have a... project that I need done.
Applicants must not have any fear of heights. Or of spikes.
My medical staff and I will be on site throughout construction in case of accidents, but I can assure you all that the utmost attention will be paid to prevent any unwanted casualties.
Naryar cancels Individual Combat Training : Struck by inspiration
Mechanic reporting.
Naryar cancels Link a whatever to Lever : Pickup Equipment
Now I must just find an iron chain to NOT fall stupidly...
Excellent! Now, I'll need a tower ~20 stories tall, 6x6 square, with a staircase going up the outside. Don't bother with the interior floors, they're not necessary. Also, build another 6x6 room adjacent to the base of the tower, separated from it by a glass wall with a door.
When that's done, build a retracting bridge on each floor, then link them to an array of levers in the room at the bottom.
but i am not a mason nor a glass worker aaaargg
Naryar cancels herculean task : needs 40 more dwarves with different tasks.
The fortress has struck limonite !
*Goes to the magma smelters and starts a ten limonite batch*
Post by: saltmummy626 on April 05, 2012, 02:08:40 pm
I dont want to go hunting, im nervous enough as it is with the ones in the cages. cant show it though, they can smell your fear.
saltmummy626 cancels train animal, interrupted by giant desert scorpion
OH GODS ITS GOT MY LEG!!
Post by: Gizogin on April 05, 2012, 02:26:09 pm
Yes, definitely. They can identify a dwarf from a single tooth. The average dwarf is incredible in that way. They can sort out specific teeth into the correct coffins while neglecting to bring the body itself! What human could ever manage such a feat?On a completely unrelated note, I've started training up my dodging skill.
On a completely unrelated note, do you think dwarves have the medical capacity to identify mutilated remains through dental records?
Dammit Urist, I'm a doctor, not a mortician!
Post by: Garath on April 05, 2012, 02:28:30 pm
soooo, anyone want a drink?
Post by: Lovecraft on April 05, 2012, 02:31:32 pm
Post by: Sabreur on April 05, 2012, 02:33:16 pm
A Vile Force of Darkness has Arrived!
Pull the lever!
Post by: kaenneth on April 05, 2012, 02:33:53 pm
I like cloaks.
Post by: Garath on April 05, 2012, 02:35:21 pm
*Pulls a random lever*
Sorry, dungeon masters are so superfluous, we don't need one. Maybe 40d is still hiring.
Post by: Lovecraft on April 05, 2012, 02:41:14 pm
Which one!Kitten mcfluffycat has drowned!
*Pulls a random lever*
Lovecraft has gone beserk!
Post by: Naryar on April 05, 2012, 02:43:19 pm
Military skills - Adequate speardwarf, novice dodger, adequate armor user, competent fighter, novice wrestler, novice striker, novice observer.
Equipment : -iron mail shirt-, +iron spear+, iron high boot, -iron high boot-, *iron gauntlet*, -iron gauntlet-, +iron helm+
Naryar goes stand at the main entry, vigilant as ever.
Post by: wierd on April 05, 2012, 02:44:55 pm
"Eldritch horrors of extradimensional and cosmic nature, down the hall, passed the dining room, down 200 flights of stairs, through the adamantine spire, and into the glowing pit. Don't call us, we'll call you."
Post by: Talvieno on April 05, 2012, 02:46:01 pm
And I'll take one of those drinks, Garath. Might as well after a long day.
On a semi-related note, I need an avatar, and according to certain people the one I had up yesterday/last night didn't fit me at all... Therefore I have no idea what to get. Would anyone helpful be willing to post/PM me ideas? I'd post this in general discussion, but I never go there, and nobody knows me. :-\ Here, though, I have a little bit of a history.
A Vile Force of Darkness has Arrived!
My friends!!! *rushes out to meet them* Hey, guys! How ya doin, what's happ -- <impaled by spear>
As to military skills, I'd probably have... some in swordfighting and spear, very high in dodging, moderate in throwing, moderate-high in wrestling, and a bit in striking and kicking, too. As to armor, I've got nothing.
How do I keep getting ninja'd?
Post by: KodKod on April 05, 2012, 03:06:13 pm
Sounds like KodKod got ahold of Saltmummy. lol
What am I, the Scorpion Queen now?
Post by: Talvieno on April 05, 2012, 03:08:34 pm
Sort of:Sounds like KodKod got ahold of Saltmummy. lol
What am I, the Scorpion Queen now?
KodKod, Scorpion Pit OverseerSelf-appointed, but still cool.
Post by: wierd on April 05, 2012, 03:16:21 pm
Who would you rather have in charge of the giant scorpion pit?
Somebody *told* to do it, or somebody that *loves* to do it?
I rest my case.
Post by: Coco146 on April 05, 2012, 03:37:03 pm
Coco146 has jumped to his death
Post by: FortKiller on April 05, 2012, 03:39:27 pm
Mine all the candy.
Kill the human diplomat.
Attract necromancers.
Run.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 05, 2012, 03:44:58 pm
The Coco146 corpse LIIIIIIIVVES
Post by: KodKod on April 05, 2012, 03:50:19 pm
Let's put it another way:
Who would you rather have in charge of the giant scorpion pit?
Somebody *told* to do it, or somebody that *loves* to do it?
I rest my case.
They're like my little stabby children.
Post by: Forumite on April 05, 2012, 04:00:36 pm
Adept Cook
Skilled Marksdwarf (very rusty)
Competent Mechanic
Adequate Record Keeper
Forumite has been quite content lately.
He is almost never sick and agile.
Forumite likes wood, beds, cabinets, jade and admires cats for their aloofness, and ants for their industriousness. When possible he prefer to consume mead and cave wheat biscuits. He absolutely detests spiders.
Forumite has become a Crossbowdwarf
Forumite grabs a ≡featherwood crossbow≡
Forumite grabs a Troll Fur Quiver
Forumite grabs a Silver Bolt[25]
Forumite grabs a ☼Alder Bolt[25]☼
Forumite grabs a *Pig Tail Cloak*
Forumite grabs a ☼Pig Tail Cloak☼
Forumite grabs a Giant Cave Spider Left Sock*
Forumite grabs a -Dog Leather Trousers-
Forumite grabs a ≡Troll Fur Cloak≡
Forumite grabs a *Pig Tail Cloak*
Forumite grabs a *Pig Tail Cloak*
Post by: Talvieno on April 05, 2012, 04:05:26 pm
Let's put it another way:Hmm, good point. I'd totally rather have someone just told to do it. Someone who loves to do it would be a lot more likely to set them on me in my sleep.
Who would you rather have in charge of the giant scorpion pit?
Somebody *told* to do it, or somebody that *loves* to do it?
I rest my case.
Post by: Coco146 on April 05, 2012, 04:10:51 pm
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Post by: mdqp on April 05, 2012, 04:19:27 pm
Post by: Mapleguy555 on April 05, 2012, 05:46:13 pm
since i'm new, i would have to line up properly in the chain of command.
Sign me up as a SPEARDWARF.
Naryar has become a Speardwarf.
Military skills - Adequate speardwarf, novice dodger, adequate armor user, competent fighter, novice wrestler, novice striker, novice observer.
Equipment : -iron mail shirt-, +iron spear+, iron high boot, -iron high boot-, *iron gauntlet*, -iron gauntlet-, +iron helm+
Naryar goes stand at the main entry, vigilant as ever.
I hire you guys.
Urist McMaple has changed AleandSteel's rank to "Spartan Rusher".
Urist McMaple has changed Naryar's rank to "Spartan Rusher".
"Now! Go forth and rush that vile force of sunshine and rainbows."
Post by: Amallar on April 05, 2012, 05:58:23 pm
If not, then I suppose my most useful skill would be in excruciatingly painful surgery (fantasy tropes never seem to take into account the feasibility of medical care without anaesthetics...).
I also have skill in metallurgy and smelting, if none of you have taken Girlinhat as smith overlord....
Post by: Talvieno on April 05, 2012, 06:05:34 pm
Is cooking with excessive amounts of curry a useful (not an useful, the -u is directly phonetic) skill in Dwarf Fortress?We would have, if she'd popped in long enough. So, congrats - you're our new smith. To the magma forges with you!
If not, then I suppose my most useful skill would be in excruciatingly painful surgery (fantasy tropes never seem to take into account the feasibility of medical care without anaesthetics...).
I also have skill in metallurgy and smelting, if none of you have taken Girlinhat as smith overlord....
Post by: Naryar on April 05, 2012, 06:08:33 pm
since i'm new, i would have to line up properly in the chain of command.
Sign me up as a SPEARDWARF.Naryar has become a Speardwarf.
Military skills - Adequate speardwarf, novice dodger, adequate armor user, competent fighter, novice wrestler, novice striker, novice observer.
Equipment : -iron mail shirt-, +iron spear+, iron high boot, -iron high boot-, *iron gauntlet*, -iron gauntlet-, +iron helm+
Naryar goes stand at the main entry, vigilant as ever.
I hire you guys.
Urist McMaple has changed AleandSteel's rank to "Spartan Rusher".
Urist McMaple has changed Naryar's rank to "Spartan Rusher".
"Now! Go forth and rush that vile force of sunshine and rainbows."
Give me a shield, I need a shield if I am to go and pull a 300 on these gobs with Ale and Steel.
Hell, I don't think it's gonna be good. It's a goblin siege, it's not like we're two spearmasters.
Also where the hell is Sabreur ? We need more soldiers here damn it !
Besides, I have installed a few traps in the entrance beforehand. That -large serrated iron disc- has even +gabbro mechanisms+ built by me. Maybe they should be used.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 05, 2012, 06:10:50 pm
New mayor
↓
↓
Post by: KodKod on April 05, 2012, 06:17:50 pm
Kneel before Kod(Kod)!New mayor
↓
Post by: wierd on April 05, 2012, 06:22:15 pm
Madame mayor, you wouldn't happen to have certain... shall we say.... dietary "intolerances" would you?
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 05, 2012, 06:23:18 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 05, 2012, 06:24:26 pm
Madame mayor, you wouldn't happen to have certain... shall we say.... dietary "intolerances" would you?That would explain how they always end up mayor...
What
Post by: wierd on April 05, 2012, 06:26:45 pm
I know how to make lye soap..... even novelty glycerine clear soap........
Post by: KodKod on April 05, 2012, 06:27:46 pm
Pale skin..... red eyes...... lusts for blood.........
Madame mayor, you wouldn't happen to have certain... shall we say.... dietary "intolerances" would you?
I am afraid so. I drink only the tears of forsaken children.
Thankfully there are plenty of those to go around in Dwarf Fortress, and I doubt that anyone is going to miss them.
Post by: Naryar on April 05, 2012, 06:30:39 pm
Pale skin..... red eyes...... lusts for blood.........
Madame mayor, you wouldn't happen to have certain... shall we say.... dietary "intolerances" would you?
I am afraid so. I drink only the tears of forsaken children.
Thankfully there are plenty of those to go around in Dwarf Fortress, and I doubt that anyone is going to miss them.
You do not drink booze ? So you are not a dwarf ? BLASPHEMY ! Kodkod is obviously a denizen of Hell twisted into humanoid form, trying to take over the dwarven civilization !
Post by: Talvieno on April 05, 2012, 06:33:27 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 05, 2012, 06:33:50 pm
We must construct additional soap.
Post by: KodKod on April 05, 2012, 06:36:44 pm
You do not drink booze ? So you are not a dwarf ? BLASPHEMY ! Kodkod is obviously a denizen of Hell twisted into humanoid form, trying to take over the dwarven civilization !
Preposterous.
If I owned this place and Hell, I'd rent this place out and live in Hell.
Post by: Talvieno on April 05, 2012, 06:39:43 pm
^---I haven't had my booze today, I think.
Post by: Naryar on April 05, 2012, 06:40:33 pm
OH WAIT THEY ARE CHARGING *retreats behind line of traps*
Preposterous.
If I owned this place and Hell, I'd rent this place out and live in Hell.
Yet you do not drink booze, and appear to not be suffering from booze deprivation slowdown syndrome. Care to explain this ?
Also, being a member of HFS doesn't mean you own hell.
And another thing - where would you find children's tears in hell ?
Post by: wierd on April 05, 2012, 06:40:55 pm
She only allows the ultra cute and unholy good to be made into toiletry products!
Sadly, she thinks forgotten beasts and kobolds are "ultra cute"...
I feel sorry for the poor fools supplying me with $spoilers!$ and $spoilers!$ fat..... when I find out how that closet ratted me out, rest assured it will pay dearly!
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 05, 2012, 06:42:50 pm
Post by: Naryar on April 05, 2012, 06:43:29 pm
Our leader would by default be the greatest warrior. Since we would immediately begin assassination attempts either because we wanted to be leader or because we couldn't fulfill a mandate and didn't want to get face hammered we would go through leaders until someone who was insanely difficult to kill.
Hence proving furthermore my Kodkod demon theory...
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 05, 2012, 06:45:35 pm
We must throw her into magma to prove her worth. If she complains about being burned to death she is an abomination, if she admires the trade depot she is a dwarf.
Hence proving furthermore my Kodkod demon theory...
Post by: Naryar on April 05, 2012, 06:47:30 pm
But demons are immune to magma !We must throw her into magma to prove her worth. If she complains about being burned to death she is an abomination, if she admires the trade depot she is a dwarf.
Hence proving furthermore my Kodkod demon theory...
Let's throw her into magma regardless. MUAHAHAHAHA
Post by: KodKod on April 05, 2012, 06:48:07 pm
Yet you do not drink booze, and appear to not be suffering from booze deprivation slowdown syndrome. Care to explain this ?
That one is easy, I add enormous quantities of rum to everything I drink, no matter the time of day.
"Fond of despair and alcoholism."
And another thing - where would you find children's tears in hell ?
I couldn't, ipso facto I'm not a clown.
On a completely unrelated note I intend to have a GDS fill the Hammerer's position. Nothing says "You dun goofed" like deadly neurotoxin.
Post by: wierd on April 05, 2012, 06:49:11 pm
She will then complain about there not being enough chairs, and about her clothes burning off. Not one mention of the !!dwarf fat!! Though.
Post by: Archereon on April 05, 2012, 06:51:32 pm
I'm too thin, beardless, and sober to be a Dorf...
Meaning in DF, I'd probably be a damn elf...
I'd make it my life's goal to be 1/15th as awesome as Cacamane though, so can I be in the fort?
Post by: Naryar on April 05, 2012, 06:52:57 pm
Yet you do not drink booze, and appear to not be suffering from booze deprivation slowdown syndrome. Care to explain this ?
That one is easy, I add enormous quantities of rum to everything I drink, no matter the time of day.
You are contradicting yourself, you said you drink only tears.
And dwarven tears are not rich enough in alcohol. Arguably plump helmet tears could but PHM don't cry !
On a completely unrelated note I intend to have a GDS fill the Hammerer's position. Nothing says "You dun goofed" like deadly neurotoxin.
I supposed you would have used jabberers, mostly for the pun with hammerer and the enjoyement of saying "You got jabberer'd" instead of the classic hammered line when a hammerer jabberer plucks a poor dwarf with it's beak and cuts it into two.
Post by: wierd on April 05, 2012, 06:54:34 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on April 05, 2012, 07:09:59 pm
Also, there's a steam group and DF multiplayer game set up, if anyone is interested in doing a community-wide fortress. We'd just have to get whoever it is that's hosting the server to use runesmith to change our attributes to fit our persons.
Post by: GenJeFT on April 05, 2012, 07:48:34 pm
Post by: Talvieno on April 05, 2012, 08:14:45 pm
Everything he saidThis.
I'd be interested in doing a community-wide fortress. All forumites at once? Sounds dwarfy to me. We're doing another one kinda similar to this already, though - the "Ultimate Fortress" thread.
Post by: Sus on April 05, 2012, 08:20:49 pm
Adequate Butcher
Competent Mechanic
Skilled Animal Trainer
Novice Alchemist
Adequate Organizer
Expert Comedian
Likes dogs for their loyalty, wolves for their cunning, green glass, jet and mechanisms.
Post by: Gizogin on April 05, 2012, 08:41:48 pm
I guess my skillset would look something like this:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 05, 2012, 09:09:47 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 05, 2012, 09:15:43 pm
A tall Dwarf maybe?
Are tall dwarves similar to tall cats (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXeDNsuUgZw) at all?
Post by: Kofthefens on April 05, 2012, 09:20:23 pm
A tall Dwarf maybe?
Are tall dwarves similar to tall cats (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXeDNsuUgZw) at all?
What did I just watch?
Post by: Amallar on April 05, 2012, 09:22:50 pm
Namely, I demand the obvious tin and copper components, along with gold and silver for the production of hepatizon, aluminium for the production of the superior bronze alloy, and osmium for the production of dwarven hammertitans.
Shit... I obliviously wandered into a transirailment amid my demands.
Post by: KodKod on April 05, 2012, 09:23:33 pm
What did I just watch?
Tall cat.
TALL CAT.
Post by: Captain Crazy on April 05, 2012, 09:23:42 pm
A bloated pterosaur made of salt, twisted into human form. It chants ceaselessly. It has external ribs and wedge-shaped undulating nipples. Beware its rather unpleasant attitude!
Post by: Vanaheimer on April 05, 2012, 09:59:18 pm
Post by: Talvieno on April 05, 2012, 10:06:55 pm
CAPTAIN CRAZY
A bloated pterosaur made of salt, twisted into human form. It chants ceaselessly. It has external ribs and wedge-shaped undulating nipples. Beware its rather unpleasant attitude!
Whoo! We have our first forgotten beast! What shall we do with it, fellow dwarves?
Post by: Amallar on April 05, 2012, 10:14:31 pm
CAPTAIN CRAZY
A bloated pterosaur made of salt, twisted into human form. It chants ceaselessly. It has external ribs and wedge-shaped undulating nipples. Beware its rather unpleasant attitude!
Whoo! We have our first forgotten beast! What shall we do with it, fellow dwarves?
If it endlessly chants -- capture it, create an altar to Toady, and then chain it to said altar to give ultimate appeasement to our deity of insanity and overweight game designers.
Post by: Pokon on April 05, 2012, 10:50:33 pm
CAPTAIN CRAZY
A bloated pterosaur made of salt, twisted into human form. It chants ceaselessly. It has external ribs and wedge-shaped undulating nipples. Beware its rather unpleasant attitude!
Whoo! We have our first forgotten beast! What shall we do with it, fellow dwarves?
Scoot in and give it a spot in the drinking haul! Lets see what crazy crap he's seen over his life, ehh?
Post by: Fen on April 05, 2012, 10:52:05 pm
tired of tripping over unruly stalagmites? I'll smooth them away! Rough walls got you aching for a feeling of living in a REAL mountainhome? Give me a few moments and It'll be the flattest surface for miles, ripe for a fresh new engraving from yours truely!
Want a lovely carving of the horrible death of an abandoned child last year? Or maybe that fine cheese you ate just an hour ago? Or even your prototype works of dwarven !!SCIENCE!!? For absolutely nothing at all, I will engrave it! On your walls, on your neighbor's walls, even on the walls of your workplace or barracks!
Call "HEY FEN GET YER ASS OVER HERE" now!
engravings may be subject to change in subject matter, location, time, and philosophical meaning at the madman engraver's slightest whim.
Post by: RAKninja on April 06, 2012, 12:35:39 am
i would.Pale skin..... red eyes...... lusts for blood.........
Madame mayor, you wouldn't happen to have certain... shall we say.... dietary "intolerances" would you?
I am afraid so. I drink only the tears of forsaken children.
Thankfully there are plenty of those to go around in Dwarf Fortress, and I doubt that anyone is going to miss them.
A CHILD HAS BEEN ABDUCTED!
Post by: acetech09 on April 06, 2012, 01:11:34 am
I'd have to say my only decent skill would likely be as either a distiller (who needs to brew when you can make whiskey so strong it'll knock out an elephant?).
[/quote
Honestly, I don't want to live off of nothing but 100-proof whiskey for the remainder of my life. I don't think I could. Dwarven beer, on the other hand - it has enough water to sustain life...
Post by: Eric Blank on April 06, 2012, 01:40:56 am
A tall Dwarf maybe?
Are tall dwarves similar to tall cats (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXeDNsuUgZw) at all?
Eric Blank, Head Stoneworker has mandated the acquisition of tall cats for his exotic 'pets' zoo!
Post by: m4davis on April 06, 2012, 01:59:39 am
Post by: Oliolli on April 06, 2012, 02:01:46 am
Spoiler: Because of my mood I would be a legendary weaponsmith (click to show/hide)
And with all the times I've tried to sneak up on the tumbleweed I'd probably be an adequate ambusher.
On a completely unrelated note, I've started training up my dodging skill.
On a completely unrelated note, do you think dwarves have the medical capacity to identify mutilated remains through dental records?
left eye
right eye
Why do you keep doing this to me?
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 02:24:10 am
I actually forgot some of my skills...This image is gold.Spoiler: Because of my mood I would be a legendary weaponsmith (click to show/hide)
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 06, 2012, 05:16:23 am
Post by: Oliolli on April 06, 2012, 06:24:00 am
Although most of the letters are way too close together :-\I actually forgot some of my skills...This image is gold.Spoiler: Because of my mood I would be a legendary weaponsmith (click to show/hide)
Post by: Reudh on April 06, 2012, 08:52:35 am
"Lord Reudh" is a member of the Bay12 Forumites, the forums of madness. His straight red hair is of middling length, with ringlets at the end. His free lobed ears are average in size. His average sized nose is somewhat wide. His blue eyes have flecks of yellow and grey. His cheekbones are round and slightly angular. His overbitten jaw is somewhat narrow. His left eye has a small mark on it from a food poisoning incident. The inside of his left wrist has a tiny scar. His upper lip has one faded tiny scar. His knees and elbows are slightly scarred from an incident in 2005 where "Lord Reudh" was hit by a car. His left ankle has a curved scar. His left foot has a round scar on the sole. His upper arm has a barely visible scar. His cheeks are cleanly shaved. His beard is non-existant. His mustache is peachfuzz.
Weird Joykill is 20 years old, born March 1992. He prefers to put faith in others than in deities. Reudh likes titanium, potassium permanganate for its purple colour, reading, and other forumites for their friendliness.. Whenever possible, he prefers to consume beef, tofu, and quinoa. He prefers to drink watermelon juice and coffee. He absolutely detests dogs.
He has a firm grasp of literature, a strong interest in sciences and facts, a burgeoning sense of art, but has poor patience for stupidity in others, an average sense of social situations, and is often charming. He doesn't mind working outdoors so long as he has sunscreen and enjoys inclement weather. He needs alcohol to get through the working day.
A medium sized and sturdy creature fond of food and drink.
Primary skills:
Writer (when/if)
Cook
Mechanics
Architecture
Judge of intent
Conversationalist
Grower/Thresher.
Post by: Garath on April 06, 2012, 08:59:24 am
Post by: Blizzlord on April 06, 2012, 09:10:44 am
I actually forgot some of my skills...So THAT is what happened to Necro910. It is sad day... :'(Spoiler: Because of my mood I would be a legendary weaponsmith (click to show/hide)
Post by: Reudh on April 06, 2012, 09:15:03 am
Post by: Oliolli on April 06, 2012, 10:27:11 am
"craftsoliolliship"
I am not a dwarf, I am an oliolli. An odd hybrid with the physique of a gorilla, the intelligence of a human and the madness, sadistic impulses and beard of a dwarf. Does not drink alcohol.
If it makes you feel any better, back then Toady had to make do with a platinum hammer for banning people.I actually forgot some of my skills...So THAT is what happened to Necro910. It is sad day... :'(Spoiler: Because of my mood I would be a legendary weaponsmith (click to show/hide)
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 06, 2012, 10:37:01 am
"craftsoliolliship"
For an entire year it has elluded me.
It's the Da Vinciolli code.
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 10:43:12 am
What's with the tumbleweed, though? I'd like to hear that story...
Talvieno cancels Dig Moat: Asking questions
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 11:30:00 am
I am not a dwarf, I am an oliolli. An odd hybrid with the physique of a gorilla, the intelligence of a human and the madness, sadistic impulses and beard of a dwarf. Does not drink alcohol.
You forgot "...and a penchant for getting smacked in the eyes."
Post by: slink on April 06, 2012, 11:37:16 am
"The Twelfth Bay" is the most common iteration of DF founded guilds in other games.Sounds great! Only I suggest the next project be Dwarven birth control. I, for one, am too old to start having a baby every year.
Firstly, massive booze production.
Secondly... we're not actually sure. Once we're all hammered then nature will take its course.
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 11:43:51 am
Sounds great! Only I suggest the next project be Dwarven birth control. I, for one, am too old to start having a baby every year.
This is a masterwork iron coat-hanger crafted by KodKod. It menaces with spikes of iron. It is coated in dwarf blood.
Post by: Gizogin on April 06, 2012, 11:44:56 am
I am not a dwarf, I am an oliolli. An odd hybrid with the physique of a gorilla, the intelligence of a human and the madness, sadistic impulses and beard of a dwarf. Does not drink alcohol.
You forgot "...and a penchant for getting smacked in the eyes."
Don't worry, we can get those eyes fixed up in no time! Now, if you'll just follow me into the hospital, we can begin. Mind your step around the organ pile; it's been a while since the last magma cleaning. Oh, don't worry, I'll make sure to be well clear of the hospital when that happens.
Post by: Oliolli on April 06, 2012, 11:56:33 am
What's with the tumbleweed, though? I'd like to hear that story...
You want to know about the tumbleweed?
It began here. (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=96916.msg2843672#msg2843672)
Tumbleweed is mentioned in 14 posts in that thread, spread across almost 50 pages.
I am not a dwarf, I am an oliolli. An odd hybrid with the physique of a gorilla, the intelligence of a human and the madness, sadistic impulses and beard of a dwarf. Does not drink alcohol.
You forgot "...and a penchant for getting smacked in the eyes."
left eye
middle eye
right eye
...what did I ever do to deserve this..?
Sounds great! Only I suggest the next project be Dwarven birth control. I, for one, am too old to start having a baby every year.
This is a masterwork iron coat-hanger crafted by KodKod. It menaces with spikes of iron. It is coated in dwarf blood.
I thought this was the dwarven way of birth control?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 12:00:14 pm
...what did I ever do to deserve this..?
Oh, it's not you specifically. You're just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I can't remember my psychiatrist's advice all too clearly, but I'm fairly sure it was something along the lines of "...hurt people." That's all I heard anyway, I wasn't paying attention to the rest of what she was saying.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 06, 2012, 12:03:57 pm
Well at least it explains the knife.
Post by: Urist Da Vinci on April 06, 2012, 12:40:59 pm
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 06, 2012, 12:47:40 pm
How would our community be defended? I'm in favor of trap spamming and a superweapon to use against sieges. We wouldn't want to send anyone out to fight unless they volunteered for it, right?Or if they made cheese, cheese makers would become soldiers. I'm not actually sure what we'd do, on one hand trap spamming is the only way to collect exotic pets and test subjects but a giant cannon that shoots magma into the path of an equally giant cannon that shoots water and causes obsidian to rain down on unsuspecting sieges sounds like something we'd do.
Post by: Oliolli on April 06, 2012, 12:52:43 pm
left eye
middle eye
right eye
right eye tooth
...dammit...
Post by: Sting_Auer on April 06, 2012, 01:03:40 pm
I vote we send KodKod out to wrestle invaders by herself >:(
left eye
middle eye
right eye
right eye tooth
...dammit...
Implying that kodKod wouldn't bring a horde of kobolds with (him/her?)
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 06, 2012, 01:18:59 pm
Implying that kodKod wouldn't bring a horde of kobolds with (him/her?)she-demon.
Post by: Naryar on April 06, 2012, 01:35:03 pm
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 01:36:56 pm
Are kobolds even any good against well-armed goblins? Especially their captains? I have great respect for KodKod. Really, I do. I just wouldn't want to send her out there. :PI vote we send KodKod out to wrestle invaders by herself >:(
left eye
middle eye
right eye
right eye tooth
...dammit...
Implying that kodKod wouldn't bring a horde of kobolds with (him/her?)
I wouldn't mind some magma traps, though. That would be epic fun to build by hand and watch it go. And as I'm a miner/mason...
Post by: RAKninja on April 06, 2012, 02:09:07 pm
A CHILD HAS BEEN ABDUCTED x12
Post by: Garath on April 06, 2012, 02:09:21 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 02:15:28 pm
I vote we send KodKod out to wrestle invaders by herself >:(
That's just cruel!
Those poor fucking goblins.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 06, 2012, 02:19:19 pm
Post by: Karakzon on April 06, 2012, 04:48:55 pm
wede end up with a seige comming in, and everyone linning the gantrys with beer in hand to watch them get roasted via liberal applications of magma and slicy traps.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 06, 2012, 05:12:36 pm
Post by: m4davis on April 06, 2012, 05:30:45 pm
Post by: Alestom on April 06, 2012, 05:31:24 pm
Skills:
Legendary Wrestling (x5)
Legendary Dodging (x5)
Legendary Drunk (x5)
Legendary Fighter (x5)
Adept Brewer
Professional Fishing
Adaquate Biting
Novice Swiming
Dabbling Sanity
You know, the norm
Post by: Sabreur on April 06, 2012, 05:41:50 pm
We wouldn't want to send anyone out to fight unless they volunteered for it, right?
For the love of Armok, let me out of the danger room already!
Seriously though, the !!science!! alone will probably kill us all loooong before the goblins arrive.
Post by: Gizogin on April 06, 2012, 06:20:50 pm
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 06:29:59 pm
(Shouts the dwarf with the !!scientific!! Water perculating air filration system with carbon filters installed in the greenglass and adamantium suit)
Post by: Gizogin on April 06, 2012, 06:38:32 pm
I'll bet you all thought I was just another !!MAD DOCTOR!! with no actual medical knowledge, didn't you? Well, that pile of discarded vital organs says you're probably right, but no matter!
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 06, 2012, 06:45:13 pm
high-tech
Nothing but Ducks and Soap
Post by: Veetor on April 06, 2012, 06:59:20 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 07:02:18 pm
Unless people start killing each other. :(
It's more likely than you think!
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 06, 2012, 07:03:50 pm
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 07:07:19 pm
I imagine a "design a better mousetrap!" Competition, baited with pigtail socks!
The hilarious part being when contestants catch more dwarves than kobolds!
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 07:08:19 pm
And of course we'd all be behind two layers of fortifications and clear glass windows. Afterall, none of us will be putting ourselves in any danger wahtsoever if we suddenly become dorfs in a video game.I agree with this (somewhat),
In fact, we'd likely all curl up in the fetal position and cry ourselves to sleep the first couple days while somebody figures out how to mine appropriately.but not with this. I'm the moron who used to enjoy setting things on fire in RL. The moron who turned his backyard into a dirtbike track. The moron who killed a hornet nest with a flamethrower. And there's no way I'm the only one. I would probably say, "Hey, cool! We're dwarves!" followed by "Holy royal forkulator, nobody's blown anything up yet?!?" That is the point where I would declare myself miner/mason. I would need to be supervised, though... Closely supervised... preferably by someone who thinks like I do.
That would be rather awesome I believe. With the ingenuity of many players around here, and the work of the not so ingenious like me, we could build a super defenseful fortress where we would live forever in a crazy and fun place! Unless people start killing each other. :(Ahaha, no. We wouldn't kill each other. We of Bay12 enjoy killing dwarves in DF mainly because they're stupid. And if you can figure out DF, it for the most part guarantees you're not stupid. We rarely start flamewars on the forums, and they're quickly quelled - if not by the people involved, then by the thoughtful innocent bystanders who tell the flaming people to shut up because it's pointless. :P As it's easier to start fights online anyway, I think we'd do pretty well in person. We wouldn't even need a hammerer. (which is somewhat disappointing because, let's face it, those are badass.)
Also, tripleninja'd.
EDIT:
Also, this.
Armok forgive the Kobold that dares to take a sock from within.Lol. :P
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 07:10:45 pm
<--- used to make his own firecrackers. Including colored sparklies.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 06, 2012, 07:12:24 pm
We'd be a sealed fortress, completely hidden and obscure. Big hostile empires wouldn't know of us, but anyone who happens to stumble upon our secret community will happily be accepted in for their merit. First, however, they would need to be trained to help master the steep learning curve of fortress life.
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 07:15:02 pm
If you can't figure out that you will be freaking elctrocuted by using a blowdryer in the shower, your odds of survival in our fortress would be pretty bleak.
I would suggest the elven pervert village downstream.
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 07:16:18 pm
Ahaha, no. We wouldn't kill each other. We of Bay12 enjoy killing dwarves in DF mainly because they're stupid. And if you can figure out DF, it for the most part guarantees you're not stupid. We rarely start flamewars on the forums, and they're quickly quelled - if not by the people involved, then by the thoughtful innocent bystanders who tell the flaming people to shut up because it's pointless. :P As it's easier to start fights online anyway, I think we'd do pretty well in person. We wouldn't even need a hammerer. (which is somewhat disappointing because, let's face it, those are badass.)
Hahahohoheehee. Are you kidding?
Throw a bunch of people who barely know each other in the cramped, confined corridors of a poorly lit dwarven fortress, breaking their backs just to survive and with the ever-present threat of annihilation from armed invaders and bloodthirsty beasts from the depths.
Tensions strain, people panic, tempers flare. Emotions go into turmoil as people are torn away from their support systems and thrust into a more-than-difficult life they are thoroughly unprepared for. People try to take charge. People resent those who try to take charge. Cracks form, and soon the whole thing begins to break apart. We'd be at each other's throats within the week.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 06, 2012, 07:19:32 pm
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 07:20:53 pm
I literally know how to field dress just about anything that breathes, how to synthesize medicine from pplants, how to do basic field surgery, and make a permanent structure out of sticks and mud!
Unprepaired for!? Hah! I would have a blast! I used to go feral camping for months with naught but clothes and a shoestring for months as a kid!
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 07:21:01 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 06, 2012, 07:22:06 pm
Post by: white_darkness on April 06, 2012, 07:22:45 pm
I'm scared to think what would happen to me....
Though I can cook, sew, make/repair mechanical devices, farm, distill booze, organize and count things, and tame animals.
And I like:
short swords for their pointy-stabbiness...
unicorns for their tasty meat
sunshine because it tastes magical with the rainbow-y goodness of a unicorn meat roast (made with minced unicorn brain, and minced unicorn eye).
The colour black, because everything goes with it.
Ahaha, no. We wouldn't kill each other. We of Bay12 enjoy killing dwarves in DF mainly because they're stupid. And if you can figure out DF, it for the most part guarantees you're not stupid. We rarely start flamewars on the forums, and they're quickly quelled - if not by the people involved, then by the thoughtful innocent bystanders who tell the flaming people to shut up because it's pointless. :P As it's easier to start fights online anyway, I think we'd do pretty well in person. We wouldn't even need a hammerer. (which is somewhat disappointing because, let's face it, those are badass.)
Hahahohoheehee. Are you kidding?
Throw a bunch of people who barely know each other in the cramped, confined corridors of a poorly lit dwarven fortress, breaking their backs just to survive and with the ever-present threat of annihilation from armed invaders and bloodthirsty beasts from the depths.
Tensions strain, people panic, tempers flare. Emotions go into turmoil as people are torn away from their support systems and thrust into a more-than-difficult life they are thoroughly unprepared for. People try to take charge. People resent those who try to take charge. Cracks form, and soon the whole thing begins to break apart. We'd be at each other's throats within the week.
I expect several folks would snap and paint the halls with blood. *goes to get his deck brush*
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 06, 2012, 07:24:52 pm
I expect several folks would snap and paint the halls with blood. *goes to get his deck brush*
Half true. On a completely unrelated note, I'll bring some brushes too.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 06, 2012, 07:25:59 pm
Also, Threetoe would be hammerer
Post by: white_darkness on April 06, 2012, 07:27:36 pm
I expect several folks would snap and paint the halls with blood. *goes to get his deck brush*
Half true. On a completely unrelated note, I'll bring some brushes too.
If KodKod doesn't have a floor buffer ready for the blood, I'd be surprised. ;)
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 07:29:05 pm
I would make myself a nice little hermitage far away from the fortress, wait a year or two for the psychosis to wear off, and for the weak and insecure to kill themselves/each other.
Then, after the bloodbath was over, I would cook up a nice little peace offering... say, some bottled aspirin, some rabbit jerky, and a few other sundries... perhaps some crochet clothing (I can make that too.).. throw some rocks at the door to get attention (if you think I am gonna knock, you are crazy), have a pleasant little chat, make the offering, and then go home.
It's good to have good neighbors.
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 07:30:09 pm
Bahaha, no. Poorly lit? We'd be dwarves. Who cares if they're lit? We can see in the dark. As to breaking our backs, have you ever seen a dwarf complain of back pain? I do figure we'd turtle down for quite a while, though... none of us would really want to go outside and face the goblins.Ahaha, no. We wouldn't kill each other. We of Bay12 enjoy killing dwarves in DF mainly because they're stupid. And if you can figure out DF, it for the most part guarantees you're not stupid. We rarely start flamewars on the forums, and they're quickly quelled - if not by the people involved, then by the thoughtful innocent bystanders who tell the flaming people to shut up because it's pointless. :P As it's easier to start fights online anyway, I think we'd do pretty well in person. We wouldn't even need a hammerer. (which is somewhat disappointing because, let's face it, those are badass.)
Hahahohoheehee. Are you kidding?
Throw a bunch of people who barely know each other in the cramped, confined corridors of a poorly lit dwarven fortress, breaking their backs just to survive and with the ever-present threat of annihilation from armed invaders and bloodthirsty beasts from the depths.
Tensions strain, people panic, tempers flare. Emotions go into turmoil as people are torn away from their support systems and thrust into a more-than-difficult life they are thoroughly unprepared for. People try to take charge. People resent those who try to take charge. Cracks form, and soon the whole thing begins to break apart. We'd be at each other's throats within the week.
Plus, we'd start out (if it was a regular embark) with plenty of booze and food to go around. We'd be set for a while - long enough to get to know each other (yes, I know, bad bad bad bad bad) and keep those cracks from forming quite so fast.
KodKod might go berserk, though... :D I'd say, yeah, she can be scorpion queen. If she goes berserk, that's what she'll go for first. :P (kidding, btw)
*applauds* Well said.Hell is other people, Mister Whispers.And we have checkerboards for that KodKod.
>Then we all split off into our own isolated sub forts. Loyalties and families are formed from these sub forts, eventually forming entire separate cultures until each different fort unites into Dwarf sparta.This sounds fun.
(Looks around innocently)Awesome! You'd make a perfect supervisor/assistant/comrade! You're hired. You get to keep whatever gems I mine.
<--- used to make his own firecrackers. Including colored sparklies.
edit: Holy ****. quadruple ninja'd this time.
Post by: white_darkness on April 06, 2012, 07:32:17 pm
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 07:36:07 pm
Then you need refined hydrocarbons....
I'll just stick with common ordinary bangpops. Easier to make with crude equipment, like chicken poop and ceramic pots.
For what it's worth though, I miss making them too. This post 911 world is waaaaaaaaaay too paranoid.
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 07:36:30 pm
If KodKod doesn't have a floor buffer ready for the blood, I'd be surprised. ;)
Why would you mop up ART?
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 07:38:57 pm
(LOL!)
Post by: white_darkness on April 06, 2012, 07:39:16 pm
If KodKod doesn't have a floor buffer ready for the blood, I'd be surprised. ;)
Why would you mop up ART?
More you might decide a certain area needs to be uniformly covered. Just picturing you cruising a floor buffer around, uniformly covering the floors and walls, and maybe carrying a mug of booze and some sort of pointy object so any passing life can helpfully add to your collection.
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 07:41:48 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 07:42:13 pm
More you might decide a certain area needs to be uniformly covered. Just picturing you cruising a floor buffer around, uniformly covering the floors and walls, and maybe carrying a mug of booze and some sort of pointy object so any passing life can helpfully add to your collection.
You forgot "singing merrily".
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 07:43:49 pm
I skimmed the thread and noticed a lack of any form of cult belonging to KodKod, I am dissapointed.We're dwarves, not kobolds. I suppose KodKod can have her own little section of the fort with her minions. And blood. No way I'm giving her any of mine, lol :P
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 07:44:48 pm
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 07:46:44 pm
The individual doesn't try to be an individual, they simply are. It is the rejection of the precepts of normalcy and acceptance that highlights them, but this rejection is natural, not purposeful.
The cultist sees this strength of personality seeks its power through emulation, ultimately missing the point. I suspect she would find a cult amusing at first, then start directing them on pointless and phyrric errands whilst laughing hysterically.
I accept her as peer. Not master. That is as it should be.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 06, 2012, 07:47:36 pm
I would not object to having my own Cult of Personality.You forgot ~Exalted Control at the end
Cults are for the weak
Weakness and the illusion of weakness, which is true? Neither.
Post by: white_darkness on April 06, 2012, 07:47:52 pm
This is a floor masterfully shellacked with blood. It contains the blood of the following:
[insert disturbingly long list here]
It's not about the giving, it's about the taking.
Trinitrotoloulene? Kinda hard without nitric acid. I mean, sure, you can get platinum in the game, but where are you going to get the rhodium and rubidium to make the necessary catayltic reactor with?
Then you need refined hydrocarbons....
I'll just stick with common ordinary bangpops. Easier to make with crude equipment, like chicken poop and ceramic pots.
For what it's worth though, I miss making them too. This post 911 world is waaaaaaaaaay too paranoid.
That's the truth, and at times rather irrational with it's paranoia.
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 07:48:50 pm
...and I suppose she can come back when she kills all her kobolds for art projects and gets lonely. :(
EDIT: Also, my art projects would be more along the lines of plains of elf blood rather than a single room of the same belonging to kobolds...
Post by: Amallar on April 06, 2012, 07:50:58 pm
I can't remember, whose "indentured servant" am I again? Both overlords seem equally lousy.
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 07:52:01 pm
...and I suppose she can come back when she kills all her kobolds for art projects and gets lonely. :(
I won't be lonely unless the rum runs out.
Post by: Amallar on April 06, 2012, 07:52:34 pm
Kodkod is classy enough not to need one. The truly dwarven just are. Cults are for the weak, who seek the security of conformity.
The individual doesn't try to be an individual, they simply are. It is the rejection of the precepts of normalcy and acceptance that highlights them, but this rejection is natural, not purposeful.
The cultist sees this strength of personality seeks its power through emulation, ultimately missing the point. I suspect she would find a cult amusing at first, then start directing them on pointless and phyrric errands whilst laughing hysterically.
I accept her as peer. Not master. That is as it should be.
The point is moot, since she'll likely be dancing on your body long before you start conventions of diplomacy and egalitarianism.
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 07:53:56 pm
For the love of *insert deity here*, why are the miners around here so lazy? Osmium gigahammers don't make themselves.I object! I'm the one who made your room! ...ignore that machinery behind the curtain. >.> 8)
I can't remember, whose "indentured servant" am I again? Both overlords seem equally lousy.
Sigh... does anyone volunteer to risk KodKod's pointy blades and lust for blood to bring her rum?...and I suppose she can come back when she kills all her kobolds for art projects and gets lonely. :(
I won't be lonely unless the rum runs out.
*waits*
No? Okay. :) *leaves, whistling*
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 07:55:14 pm
For the love of *insert deity here*, why are the miners around here so lazy? Osmium gigahammers don't make themselves.I object! I'm the one who made your room! ...ignore that machinery behind the curtain. >.> 8)
I can't remember, whose "indentured servant" am I again? Both overlords seem equally lousy.Sigh... does anyone volunteer to risk KodKod's pointy blades and lust for blood to bring her rum?...and I suppose she can come back when she kills all her kobolds for art projects and gets lonely. :(
I won't be lonely unless the rum runs out.
*waits*
No? Okay. :) *leaves, whistling*
Her one-kobold cult would. As long as theres a doctor waiting for me.
Post by: white_darkness on April 06, 2012, 07:55:31 pm
...and I suppose she can come back when she kills all her kobolds for art projects and gets lonely. :(
I won't be lonely unless the rum runs out.
If you've got the rum? *bats eyelashes*
Post by: Veetor on April 06, 2012, 07:56:50 pm
Unless people start killing each other. :(
It's more likely than you think!
Yes, I suppose. We would live in our own realm - we would have much more power, and mankind with power...
Post by: WillowLuman on April 06, 2012, 07:57:13 pm
I must have adamantine wafers!
I must have slade bars!
I must have wagon wood logs!
Bring em here so I can make a soap sword to accompany my shield, decorated with the above materials!
Post by: slink on April 06, 2012, 07:58:25 pm
I miss making firecrackers. Synthesized TNT once or twice too... <_<When I was a child, I found toluene and nitric acid in my mother's microscope box. No one else was home, which is why I had dared to look in a forbidden box, so I mixed some of each in a test tube and dropped it out the window. Aren't I lucky that TNT isn't made that way! :P
Then I grew up to be a chemist. :D
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 07:58:55 pm
HugoLuman has been struck by a fey mood!
I must have adamantine wafers!
I must have slade bars!
I must have wagon wood logs!
Bring em here so I can make a soap sword to accompany my shield, decorated with the above materials!
Spikes of adamantine, hanging rings of slade... It might be one-use, but I pity the fool who's dumb enough to stand in the way of that one strike.
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 07:59:13 pm
Cults are for the weak
Weakness and the illusion of weakness, which is true? Neither.
Not true. The weak seek deliverance from an outside agency. The strong secure their own deliverance. The foolish don't know their own limits, while the wise do. No man is an island, but only a fool is a willing doormat.
Fortune favors the prepared. I have seen really screwed up shit that other people I have met needed counselling for. Basically, I don't need the kitten waterfall. Tradgedy and I are old friends.
[She is likely to kill you before any compact can be arranged]
She's welcome to try. :) by all accounts, I should have died several times by now. (And I'm quite viscious with a whip.)
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 06, 2012, 08:00:49 pm
No man is an island, but only a fool is a willing doormat.
What if there was a bear trap on said doormat?
What if I told you I was a freeman of my island?
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 08:01:47 pm
Post by: white_darkness on April 06, 2012, 08:03:58 pm
There is more rum flowing through my veins than blood. Rum-bringers will be elevated to a station of minor authority in KodKod society.
*sharpens his canines, smiles sweetly and bats his eyelashes again* Rum you say?
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 08:04:21 pm
[She is likely to kill you before any compact can be arranged]vis·cous/ˈviskəs/
She's welcome to try. :) by all accounts, I should have died several times by now. (And I'm quite viscious with a whip.)
Adjective:
Having a thick, sticky consistency between solid and liquid; having a high viscosity.
I, for one, am terrified. I also pity any goblins who see Wierd in this state.
I chose the right dude to attempt to hire, clearly.
There is more rum flowing through my veins than blood. Rum-bringers will be elevated to a station of minor authority in KodKod society.Okay, I might risk your pointy blades. Might. And might carve you a couple rooms, too. Come on, you wouldn't want to be painting a tiny room with the red stuff - wouldn't it be more fun to paint a grand hall with a ceiling 50 feet above the floor?
I'm a miner/mason. Here's my card. 8)
this is partially to ensure I survive.
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 08:04:50 pm
This is a dwarf-bone breastplate! It menaces with spikes of slade! Hanging rings of demon leather adorn the exterior! A picture of wierd and KodKod are described in human leather! It relates to the philosopher wierd and goddess KodKod in the year 2012! KodKod is drinking rum! Wierd is striking down a cultist!
I just had to do that.
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 08:05:20 pm
Post by: zehive on April 06, 2012, 08:05:52 pm
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 08:06:43 pm
Sadly kodkod's blood rum content is always second hand. (That's why rum bearers hold a "special place" in her society.)ohohoho... nice.... :D Lol
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 08:07:23 pm
Sadly kodkod's blood rum content is always second hand. (That's why rum bearers hold a "special place" in her society.)ohohoho... nice.... :D Lol
Win....
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 08:07:46 pm
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 08:08:39 pm
Not sure you got it, KodKod. :PRum is my main course. Sambuca the desert, but then any drink best served on fire is right up my street.Win....Sadly kodkod's blood rum content is always second hand. (That's why rum bearers hold a "special place" in her society.)ohohoho... nice.... :D Lol
Post by: Amallar on April 06, 2012, 08:10:40 pm
If we partake in a service worshipping KodKod as the DF equivalent of Jesus, would we actually harvest her blood to be passed around in a leather chalice and cut off bits of her to nom?
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 08:10:50 pm
Not sure you got it, KodKod. :P
I might possibly be inebriated at present.
Post by: white_darkness on April 06, 2012, 08:12:04 pm
Me, I'll take some rum. Somehow.
Until someone successfully distills jaegermeister.
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 08:13:26 pm
They're suggesting you may be a vampire.
Me, I'll take some rum. Somehow.
Until someone successfully distills jaegermeister.
......I wont say what I thought he meant now...
I wonder if a brewer strange mood can make a artifact rum...
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 08:14:46 pm
[She is likely to kill you before any compact can be arranged]vis·cous/ˈviskəs/
She's welcome to try. :) by all accounts, I should have died several times by now. (And I'm quite viscious with a whip.)
Adjective:
Having a thick, sticky consistency between solid and liquid; having a high viscosity.
I, for one, am terrified. I also pity any goblins who see Wierd in this state.
I chose the right dude to attempt to hire, clearly.There is more rum flowing through my veins than blood. Rum-bringers will be elevated to a station of minor authority in KodKod society.Okay, I might risk your pointy blades. Might. And might carve you a couple rooms, too. Come on, you wouldn't want to be painting a tiny room with the red stuff - wouldn't it be more fun to paint a grand hall with a ceiling 50 feet above the floor?
I'm a miner/mason. Here's my card. 8)
this is partially to ensure I survive.
Silly person! Did you not see the I in the word!
Viscious != viscous!
The only viscous substance my whip makes is congealed gore!
Post by: white_darkness on April 06, 2012, 08:16:48 pm
They're suggesting you may be a vampire.
Me, I'll take some rum. Somehow.
Until someone successfully distills jaegermeister.
......I wont say what I thought he meant now...
I wonder if a brewer strange mood can make a artifact rum...
Now I'm confused. :)
If it's "offensive" go ahead and PM me, though it'll probably escape into the thread anyway soon enough.
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 08:17:06 pm
Viscious != viscous!True. Also,
Viscious != vicious.
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 08:18:38 pm
Viscious != viscous!True. Also,
Viscious != vicious.
That might be true, but I'm the one with the whip! :)
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 08:19:06 pm
Viscious != viscous!True. Also,
Viscious != vicious.
That might be true, but I'm the one with the whip! :)
Im the one with the dwarf-bone breastplate, so I surrender.
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 08:19:52 pm
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 08:20:05 pm
I took it the way you described it...They're suggesting you may be a vampire.
Me, I'll take some rum. Somehow.
Until someone successfully distills jaegermeister.
......I wont say what I thought he meant now...
I wonder if a brewer strange mood can make a artifact rum...
Now I'm confused. :)
If it's "offensive" go ahead and PM me, though it'll probably escape into the thread anyway soon enough.
Frankly, I think the way he meant it was more "dirty"...
Finally, if it turned out KodKod was a real vampire, I'm sure the majority of The Twelfth Bay would quickly agree to place her in a pit with the sharp stabby things she loves oh-so-very-much, and then pull two levers - the first activating the stabbies, and the second filling the little pit with water. Over which, I would build a well. I'm an architect in my spare time.
Oh, and if she swims, she's a witch.
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 08:21:30 pm
I took it the way you described it...They're suggesting you may be a vampire.
Me, I'll take some rum. Somehow.
Until someone successfully distills jaegermeister.
......I wont say what I thought he meant now...
I wonder if a brewer strange mood can make a artifact rum...
Now I'm confused. :)
If it's "offensive" go ahead and PM me, though it'll probably escape into the thread anyway soon enough.
Frankly, I think the way he meant it was more "dirty"...
Finally, if it turned out KodKod was a real vampire, I'm sure the majority of The Twelfth Bay would quickly agree to place her in a pit with the sharp stabby things she loves oh-so-very-much, and then pull two levers - the first activating the stabbies, and the second filling the little pit with water. Over which, I would build a well. I'm an architect in my spare time.
Oh, and if she swims, she's a witch.
Correct. And who would drink a vampire's blood! You would be sober forever.
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 08:22:13 pm
Aw, I guess you declined my offer of employment. No matter. I will find someone else suitable who wants hoards of gems and the most expansive, majestic rooms they can dream of.Viscious != viscous!True. Also,
Viscious != vicious.
That might be true, but I'm the one with the whip! :)
Possibly a balcony.
On a tower.
To drop things from.
("things" including "living things")
EDIT:
Well, come on. We're a bunch of terrified dwarves who don't want to die. Vampires are tough. Vampires are fast. Being vampires would exponentially increase our chances of survival.I took it the way you described it...They're suggesting you may be a vampire.
Me, I'll take some rum. Somehow.
Until someone successfully distills jaegermeister.
......I wont say what I thought he meant now...
I wonder if a brewer strange mood can make a artifact rum...
Now I'm confused. :)
If it's "offensive" go ahead and PM me, though it'll probably escape into the thread anyway soon enough.
Frankly, I think the way he meant it was more "dirty"...
Finally, if it turned out KodKod was a real vampire, I'm sure the majority of The Twelfth Bay would quickly agree to place her in a pit with the sharp stabby things she loves oh-so-very-much, and then pull two levers - the first activating the stabbies, and the second filling the little pit with water. Over which, I would build a well. I'm an architect in my spare time.
Oh, and if she swims, she's a witch.
Correct. And who would drink a vampire's blood! You would be sober forever.
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 08:22:52 pm
I was thinking more along the blood countess (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_B%C3%A1thory) myself.... you know, that dashingly impish girl who bathed in the blood of virgins for her beauty regimen?
Post by: white_darkness on April 06, 2012, 08:23:10 pm
Whereas myself, it's best said by this... (http://youtu.be/B9g0f-YT9f4)
Oh well, I still don't get how he could have meant it, I'll just wait for a PM or someone to enlighten me. I could use a good chuckle. :)
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 08:27:04 pm
"Heaven hath no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 08:29:36 pm
"Heaven hath no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."if there was a devil emoticon, I'd use it. In lieu of that...
~a spineless dude quivering in the corner like jelly
:devil:
I'm asking for it, I know.
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 08:31:10 pm
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 08:33:48 pm
Oh yes. I know first hand the pernicious and wicked things a slighted woman is capable of. Granted, never on the receiving end... but I have borne witness to the spectacle. Nothing like it.True, but "hell"? I think that's taking it a bit too far, honestly. Just my opinion.
Honestly, I'd rather face KodKod in a fury than all the clowns under The Twelfth Bay.
Post by: white_darkness on April 06, 2012, 08:34:28 pm
Good luck Tal, I'm going to go pop some popcorn now.
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 08:34:52 pm
True, but "hell"? I think that's taking it a bit too far, honestly. Just my opinion.
You have no idea.
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 08:35:43 pm
Tis a force of nature, similar to hurricanes, tornadoes, or the tsunami.Okay, bring me some too, when it's over. *rigs up a ceiling fall trap* I love being a miner/mason.
Good luck Tal, I'm going to go pop some popcorn now.
EDIT: Oh, and KodKod, you were right. :P People going at each other's throats, just like you said. Obviously I stayed in your little corner of the fortress a bit too long.
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 08:35:49 pm
I feel successful now.
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 08:38:15 pm
What the devil attepts with subtlety, a woman does with rapacious ease!
You are warned!
Post by: white_darkness on April 06, 2012, 08:38:47 pm
Tis a force of nature, similar to hurricanes, tornadoes, or the tsunami.Okay, bring me some too, when it's over. *rigs up a ceiling fall trap* I love being a miner/mason.
Good luck Tal, I'm going to go pop some popcorn now.
EDIT: Oh, and KodKod, you were right. :P People going at each other's throats, just like you said. Obviously I stayed in your little corner of the fortress a bit too long.
*sits down in a chair with his popcorn and the deckbrush leaning against it*
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 08:39:33 pm
I created a KodKod derailment!Yep, you're definitely her kobold. Maybe you could be her priest?
I feel successful now.
Foolish man... a hurricane destroys the body, but a woman destroys the soul!What does she do to 500k urists worth of marble? :D
What the devil attepts with subtlety, a woman does with rapacious ease!
You are warned!
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 08:39:47 pm
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 08:41:23 pm
I feel that it's important to note that when Congreve said "nor hell a fury like a woman scorned", he didn't mean "fury" as in "anger", he meant "Fury" as in a diety of vengence. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erinyes)I dunno... they look cute.
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 08:42:05 pm
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 08:42:27 pm
I created a KodKod derailment!Yep, you're definitely her kobold. Maybe you could be her priest?
I feel successful now.Foolish man... a hurricane destroys the body, but a woman destroys the soul!What does she do to 500k urists worth of marble? :D
What the devil attepts with subtlety, a woman does with rapacious ease!
You are warned!
And now that I look at what I have wrought, I regret
EDIT:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Yes, yes I am.
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 08:43:21 pm
............. read more mythology.............. I have. All of Greek, Norse, Egyptian. Loved it and ate it up. Of course I know what the Furies are. I'm just having fun, that's all.
Maybe I should stop? :-\ :(
Post by: Eric Blank on April 06, 2012, 08:45:02 pm
"Quit yer wankin' about the stoneworkers' quality or rate of work, or else you'll be assisting the engravers in smoothing every surface down to a sheen with yer blood!
We're underdwarfed and overworked enough as it is with the lot of you being pyrotechnicians, farmers and whatever that goddess of death you worship is supposed to be, and begging us to mine every last damn mineral vein AND your bloody dorms. Until you design some blasting caps and drills for us, you're screwed.
Maybe I should engineer some new cage traps and stock everyone's room with at least one 'pet' of their choosing.
And curse you all for yer ninja'n my posts in under the minute!"
nagnagnag nag angry old pirate dorf with a pickaxe trails off as he disappears into the freshly-dug tunnel on the West wall of the chamber, bringing the screams of warrior-wenches as he plows headlong into the women's military barracks
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 08:46:57 pm
I grew up with sisters. Vicious ones. (One that could squat 400lbs.)
I have seen. Oh, have I seen.
The danger is not danger to the body, though that is possible. The danger is that you will never again know peace in that woman's company.
Never.
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 08:48:03 pm
A horrid abomination of rabid froth and steel pointy things bursts through the Eastern wall of the chamber
"Quit yer wankin' about the stoneworkers' quality or rate of work, or else you'll be assisting the engravers in smoothing every surface down to a sheen with yer blood!
We're underdwarfed and overworked enough as it is with the lot of you being pyrotechnicians, farmers and whatever that goddess of death you worship is supposed to be, and begging us to mine every last damn mineral vein AND your bloody dorms. Until you design some blasting caps and drills for us, you're screwed.
Maybe I should engineer some new cage traps and stock everyone's room with at least one 'pet' of their choosing.
And curse you all for yer ninja'n my posts in under the minute!"
nagnagnag nag angry old pirate dorf with a pickaxe trails off as he disappears into the freshly-dug tunnel on the West wall of the chamber, bringing the screams of warrior-wenches as he plows headlong into the women's military barracks
"But Im a kobold, I can barely swing a knife!"
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 08:49:35 pm
The danger is that you will never again know peacein that woman's company.
Never.
I fixed that superfluity for you.
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 08:50:41 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 08:51:51 pm
I'm going to guess nobody else finds my "sense of humor" very amusing... :( *slinks out*
No retreating, contribute more.
This particular thread is starting to feel like an imageboard, but that's not a bad thing.
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 08:53:39 pm
Here vermin, vermin, vermin.......
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 08:54:35 pm
Weird Joykill waves Xxtroll fur loinclothxX (complete with vomit and blood stains!) Tantalizingly overhead at the kobold...
Here vermin, vermin, vermin.......
"A thief! Kill the skulking filth!"
OHGODDONTKILLME
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 08:56:23 pm
This is part of why I wouldn't make a good military dwarf. :-\ I retreat from combat in RL. lol oh well. :P
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 08:58:39 pm
Weird Joykill waves Xxtroll fur loinclothxX (complete with vomit and blood stains!) Tantalizingly overhead at the kobold...
Here vermin, vermin, vermin.......
"A thief! Kill the skulking filth!"
OHGODDONTKILLME
*pulls the lever*
DODGE THAT, FILTHY CURR!
BWAHAHAHA!
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 08:59:25 pm
(http://i40.tinypic.com/66b19t.png)
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 09:00:14 pm
[trapavoid]Image: 404 not found. jsyk.
(http://i40.tinypic.com/66b19t.png)
QUESTION: What megaproject would we build, once we got settled?
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 09:01:10 pm
[trapavoid]Image: 404 not found. jsyk.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
QUESTION: What megaproject would we build, once we got settled?
A nice hovel for all the kobolds
:D?
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 09:01:27 pm
Kobold falls into cagetrap.
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 09:01:40 pm
Image: 404 not found. jsyk.
QUESTION: What megaproject would we build, once we got settled?
I totally see it.
Does this help?
(http://img29.imageshack.us/img29/3192/66b19t.png)
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 09:02:32 pm
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 09:03:18 pm
Weird Joykill waves Xxtroll fur loinclothxX (complete with vomit and blood stains!) Tantalizingly overhead at the kobold...
Here vermin, vermin, vermin.......
"A thief! Kill the skulking filth!"
OHGODDONTKILLME
*pulls the lever*
DODGE THAT, FILTHY CURR!
BWAHAHAHA!
Corai, wierd just crushed you under 500k urists of marble - the trap I made for KodKod. Sorry about that. See, Wierd, doesn't being coworkers sound fun? :D
Image: 404 not found. jsyk.
QUESTION: What megaproject would we build, once we got settled?
I totally see it.
Does this help?
-snip-
lol :P
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 09:04:38 pm
Weird Joykill waves Xxtroll fur loinclothxX (complete with vomit and blood stains!) Tantalizingly overhead at the kobold...
Here vermin, vermin, vermin.......
"A thief! Kill the skulking filth!"
OHGODDONTKILLME
*pulls the lever*
DODGE THAT, FILTHY CURR!
BWAHAHAHA!
Corai, wierd just crushed you under 500k urists of marble - the trap I made for KodKod. Sorry about that. See, Wierd, doesn't being coworkers sound fun? :DImage: 404 not found. jsyk.
QUESTION: What megaproject would we build, once we got settled?
I totally see it.
Does this help?
-snip-
lol :P
Knowing dwarf fortress I escaped with a right lower arm
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 09:06:54 pm
Enh, poo. Also knowing Dwarf Fortress, it wasn't my fault!! Glad you didn't die. lol
Knowing dwarf fortress I escaped with a right lower arm
*plots secretively ;D *
EDIT: KodKod, you were definitely right. We'd be going at each other's throats. But it'd all be in the name of ☼SCIENCE☼ and ☼FUN☼. ("science" whenever we could get away with labeling the fun as that.)
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 09:13:55 pm
Enh, poo. Also knowing Dwarf Fortress, it wasn't my fault!! Glad you didn't die. lol
Knowing dwarf fortress I escaped with a right lower arm
*plots secretively ;D *
EDIT: KodKod, you were definitely right. We'd be going at each other's throats. But it'd all be in the name of ☼SCIENCE☼ and ☼FUN☼. ("science" whenever we could get away with labeling the fun as that.)
And on that note!
---------------------------------------------
- A thief escaped with a adamanite sock! -
---------------------------------------------
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 09:14:40 pm
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 09:15:32 pm
Oh there would definately be ‼FUN‼ involved, that's for sure. It's just not guaranteed for all parties.
I assume im the first to enjoy !!FUN!! cause im a kobold?
Post by: Amallar on April 06, 2012, 09:17:10 pm
Well, come on. We're a bunch of terrified dwarves who don't want to die. Vampires are tough. Vampires are fast. Being vampires would exponentially increase our chances of survival.I took it the way you described it...They're suggesting you may be a vampire.
Me, I'll take some rum. Somehow.
Until someone successfully distills jaegermeister.
......I wont say what I thought he meant now...
I wonder if a brewer strange mood can make a artifact rum...
Now I'm confused. :)
If it's "offensive" go ahead and PM me, though it'll probably escape into the thread anyway soon enough.
Frankly, I think the way he meant it was more "dirty"...
Finally, if it turned out KodKod was a real vampire, I'm sure the majority of The Twelfth Bay would quickly agree to place her in a pit with the sharp stabby things she loves oh-so-very-much, and then pull two levers - the first activating the stabbies, and the second filling the little pit with water. Over which, I would build a well. I'm an architect in my spare time.
Oh, and if she swims, she's a witch.
Correct. And who would drink a vampire's blood! You would be sober forever.
I rather don't mind dying, actually. Existence is transient and there will always be millions of me in other dimensions, so it's no big loss. And, if death does actually end in oblivion, then it stands to reason that I won't have the consciousness to be rueful or frightened.
Post by: Amallar on April 06, 2012, 09:20:26 pm
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 09:22:31 pm
Tell me, did it ever occur to you that because you do exist now, that your eternal timeless existence is garanteed, due to the local quantum state collapse? (That removing you from existence would result in a universe ending paradox?)
:D
[A woman's scorn]
Wierd's surefire method:
Find a vulnerable, reclusive girl. They like libraries, parks, and zoos. They fear rejection, and have a serious self worth complex. Genuinely act interested in her. Take her on dates. Build up her self esteem. Be helpful, supportive, ad nurturing.
Just as she is beginning to bloom and fall madly in love with you, tell her she was just a temporary fling, and that you were desperate.
Wear abspestos underwear.
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 09:24:23 pm
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 09:32:37 pm
Got 'im!
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 09:36:21 pm
CoraiUnki, pup.
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 09:44:35 pm
I must also ask what a woman's scorn feels like. No one takes me seriously enough to waste perfectly good scorn, unfortunately.
Try to imagine, just for a moment, a primordial force of nature so incomparable in scale to the world we humans live in that it defies belief, like the enormous dust storms in parts of the world that stretch beyond the horizon, against which even the tallest skyscraper made by mankind is only the smallest speck. A force that it at the same time both terrifying and utterly humbling, causing you to reflect for a moment that we are all brief, insignificant bits of carbon living in a universe of a size which is utterly inconceivable to us.
Now compress that force of nature into a single, human-shaped individual bent only on making you suffer millionfold for the sins you committed against her, an entity, baying for blood, which is more than willing to inflict every inhuman torture upon you; to turn your whole world upside down and leave you begging for a death that never comes. A creature for whom the structures, morals and rules that we as a species have formed over tens of thousands of years mean absolutely nothing, and whose cruelty and malice are so dense the they become a black hole, absorbing every trace of humanity and leaving only a cold-blooded, soulless machine whose only purpose is a destruction focussed on one individual, and who remains conscious during the entire episode only to add an ever increasing resentment at the monster you have turned her into to the twisted singularity of her existence pointed directly at you.
If you can imagine all that then you have been afforded a brief, incomplete glimpse of the seething being of hatred that is woman scorned.
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 09:45:48 pm
I must also ask what a woman's scorn feels like. No one takes me seriously enough to waste perfectly good scorn, unfortunately.
Try to imagine, just for a moment, a primordial force of nature so incomparable in scale to the world we humans live in that it defies belief, like the enormous dust storms in parts of the world that stretch beyond the horizon, against which even the tallest skyscraper made by mankind is only the smallest speck. A force that it at the same time both terrifying and utterly humbling, causing you to reflect for a moment that we are all brief, insignificant bits of carbon living in a universe of a size which is utterly inconceivable to us.
Now compress that force of nature into a single, human-shaped individual bent only on making you suffer millionfold for the sins you committed against her, an entity, baying for blood, which is more than willing to inflict every inhuman torture upon you; to turn your whole world upside down and leave you begging for a death that never comes. A creature for whom the structures, morals and rules that we as a species have formed over tens of thousands of years mean absolutely nothing, and whose cruelty and malice are so dense the they become a black hole, absorbing every trace of humanity and leaving only a cold-blooded, soulless machine whose only purpose is a destruction focussed on one individual, and who remains conscious during the entire episode only to add an ever increasing resentment at the monster you have turned her into to the twisted singularity of her existence pointed directly at you.
If you can imagine all that then you have been afforded a brief, incomplete glimpse of the seething being of hatred that is woman scorned.
I cant tell if thats beautiful, or scary.
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 09:46:56 pm
She's right, you know. (unless you have 500k urists of marble, an ingenious miner/mason and NON-DF physics.)I must also ask what a woman's scorn feels like. No one takes me seriously enough to waste perfectly good scorn, unfortunately.
-snip-
[A woman's scorn]Ahhhh, you sound like you have a bit of experience in this. lol :P
Wierd's surefire method:
Find a vulnerable, reclusive girl. They like libraries, parks, and zoos. They fear rejection, and have a serious self worth complex. Genuinely act interested in her. Take her on dates. Build up her self esteem. Be helpful, supportive, ad nurturing.
Just as she is beginning to bloom and fall madly in love with you, tell her she was just a temporary fling, and that you were desperate.
Wear abspestos underwear.
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 09:50:44 pm
But let me assure you that I only WISH that there were words capable of describing the untold horror that I'm trying to get across to you.
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 09:52:03 pm
I imagine that it is easy to think that I am exaggerating.
But let me assure you that I only WISH that there were words capable of describing the untold horror that I'm trying to get across to you.
......Im gonna go hide in a hole now.
CoraiUnki, Kobold miner cancels hide:Digging hole
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 10:01:03 pm
I imagine that it is easy to think that I am exaggerating.I wasn't implying that. :P Lol As I said, I've felt it before (though not for the same reason as Wierd gave).
But let me assure you that I only WISH that there were words capable of describing the untold horror that I'm trying to get across to you.
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 10:03:01 pm
I wasn't implying that. :P Lol As I said, I've felt it before (though not for the same reason as Wierd gave).
If you're still alive and/or not a broken shell of a human being then you got off very, very easy.
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 10:08:53 pm
Ahhhhh... Yes, you exaggerate. My mistake - I misunderstood. :PI wasn't implying that. :P Lol As I said, I've felt it before (though not for the same reason as Wierd gave).
If you're still alive and/or not a broken shell of a human being then you got off very, very easy.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 06, 2012, 10:10:30 pm
This is a soap shortsword. All craftsmanship is of the highest quality. It is adorned with hanging rings with slade and menaces with spikes of adamantine and wagon wood. On the item of an image of the universe and a toad in wagon wood. The toad is coding the universe. On the item is an image of dwarves and barrels in soap. The dwarves are striking down the barrels. On the item is an image of kittens in rose gold. The kittens are plotting.
Also ninja'd 16 times
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 10:12:41 pm
HugoLuman has produced Thotumibul, a soap shortsword!How did you get multiple strange moods?!? I call haxx.
This is a soap shortsword. All craftsmanship is of the highest quality. It is adorned with hanging rings with slade and menaces with spikes of adamantine and wagon wood. On the item of an image of the universe and a toad in wagon wood. The toad is coding the universe. On the item is an image of dwarves and barrels in soap. The dwarves are striking down the barrels. On the item is an image of kittens in rose gold. The kittens are plotting.
Also ninja'd 16 times
Also, I'm afraid of the kittens. :o
Oh, and 16? You beat my record.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 06, 2012, 10:16:11 pm
HugoLuman has produced Thotumibul, a soap shortsword!How did you get multiple strange moods?!? I call haxx.
This is a soap shortsword. All craftsmanship is of the highest quality. It is adorned with hanging rings with slade and menaces with spikes of adamantine and wagon wood. On the item of an image of the universe and a toad in wagon wood. The toad is coding the universe. On the item is an image of dwarves and barrels in soap. The dwarves are striking down the barrels. On the item is an image of kittens in rose gold. The kittens are plotting.
Also ninja'd 16 times
Also, I'm afraid of the kittens. :o
Oh, and 16? You beat my record.
I'm glitched. I get more than one mood, yet I often fail them randomly. I don't go insane and die from it though. That is why I only produce something worthwhile occasionally, and have tons of half-finished projects sitting around
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 10:16:45 pm
She's right, you know. (unless you have 500k urists of marble, an ingenious miner/mason and NON-DF physics.)I must also ask what a woman's scorn feels like. No one takes me seriously enough to waste perfectly good scorn, unfortunately.
-snip-[A woman's scorn]Ahhhh, you sound like you have a bit of experience in this. lol :P
Wierd's surefire method:
Find a vulnerable, reclusive girl. They like libraries, parks, and zoos. They fear rejection, and have a serious self worth complex. Genuinely act interested in her. Take her on dates. Build up her self esteem. Be helpful, supportive, ad nurturing.
Just as she is beginning to bloom and fall madly in love with you, tell her she was just a temporary fling, and that you were desperate.
Wear abspestos underwear.
Me? Oh no. I have never comitted this sin. I do not destroy vulnerable people to suit temporary urges. (This fact has raised any number of questions about my sexuality. See the "hyperactivity" thread for my one time answer.)
What I am, is observant. I have seen this exact thing happen. There are two kinds of women you should most frear:
The first is the timid kind, that finds herself. Having overcome her demons, she is invincible. Your betrayal will be swiftly, brutally, and heartlessly dealt with. You will never know peace.
The second is the hardened, worldly woman. She has seen what the world really is, and knows its game. She will punish you in ways you cannot imagine. You will not know peace.
These two types of women are so dangerous, that human patriarchal societies have instinctually worked to ensure they are always a minority. The "ideal" woman, thruough history is compliant, lacks swlf worth, and lives only to please. The alternative is the clueless bimbo who is kept ignorant, and on the shelf. The trophy wife. As a nonsexual male, I can see this clearly.
The first type of woman is called all maner of names, and derided by conventional society for centuries. "Brazen", "presumptuous", and "vindictive" are the usual adjectives. The latter has always been a thorn in the side of masculine power, gravitating toward positions of female power. Healers, wise women, and oracles. Their experience grants them oracular power of a sort, because they have seen it all, and nothing ever really changes. The vaneer of man's vanity is as translucent as glass to such women. Their powers are unquestioned throught the ages. They are often decried as witches and enchantresses in literature.
To me, they are mearly women who's eyes have been opened. I tend to get caught in the crossfire, told that I could never understand them, or their plight, but I am not apt to agree with that statement. I myself and a pariah of sorts. I know the role. I am not interested in temporary, physical pleasures. I desire the real, the true. I love the mind. The women western society make are not real. They are fantasies of other men, striving for a pinnacle that is false. Women should live for themselves, and know what they want. When I meet women like that, I cannot help but be attracted. I like the full flower of a mature and ripened mind, full of experience, and proud with bold expression. This is true of any gender. The body doesn't matter. The mind is powerful, and captivating. That is all that matters.
It is the respect one has for a vicious wild animal. Power. Beautiful, and to be respected.
Like a wild animal, women dislike unnecessary confrontation. (Except amongst each other, but that is a set of circumstances too sophisticated to elaborate on in a forum post.) Do not give them a reason to devour you, and you have little to fear.
Like a fire, you only get burned when you play with it. I don't need to have experienced the conflagration to know what happens when you pour gasoline on a tiny fire.
I am smart enough not to do it, and biologically blessed to not flit to it like a moth dancing in the candle's light.
I watch all the others fly in, blinded by instinctual urges, and behaving oh so foolishly. They beat the flame with their wings, and it consumes them.
In short, I do not understand my own gender. Men do things I would never in a million years ever contemplate, for 10 minutes of fleeting pleasure.
Fools. Fools all.
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 10:19:07 pm
I NEED SLADE
I NEED DWARVEN LEATHER
I NEED PLATINUM
I NEED LIQUID FIRE
Post by: Amallar on April 06, 2012, 10:21:41 pm
Ahh! Somebody that almot subscribes to my own philosophy!
Tell me, did it ever occur to you that because you do exist now, that your eternal timeless existence is garanteed, due to the local quantum state collapse? (That removing you from existence would result in a universe ending paradox?)
:D
Actually, I've always perceived that the relationships all things share preserve cognition, or at least bare existence. All information in the Universe is recorded in interactions on the most basic level (or should it be called the highest level?), in such forms as quantum strings or neural entanglement or even simple perceptions of temporal measurement. When I die, (I think) I'll become diffuse in the collective body of all information recorded on the fabric of the Universe itself, existing in a state external (or perhaps as a universal component of) everything that happens.
Again, it doesn't really matter to me; death is imminent to all things, and the serenity to accept it comes easily.
Post by: Amallar on April 06, 2012, 10:24:10 pm
CoraiUnki has been possessed.......
I NEED SLADE
I NEED DWARVEN LEATHER
I NEED PLATINUM
I NEED LIQUID FIRE
Stop asking for platinum, osmium is far superior.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 06, 2012, 10:25:53 pm
Post by: Corai on April 06, 2012, 10:29:29 pm
CoraiUnki has been possessed.......
I NEED SLADE
I NEED DWARVEN LEATHER
I NEED PLATINUM
I NEED LIQUID FIRE
Stop asking for platinum, osmium is far superior.
This is Vesen the Eternal hatred! It is a Slade 2h sword! It menaces with spikes of platinum! Liquid fire coats the exterior! On the side is a image describing the rise of KodKod above the Kobolds! She is striking down the kobolds!
Post by: Talvieno on April 06, 2012, 10:31:08 pm
ubersnipWow, this thread just got serious.
Okay, I second just about everything you said there... And I mean that in all seriousness now. When I want to have fun, I don't use women either... I can even use my tumblr as proof. It's all non-sexual romantic poetry I've written... which has also gotten my sexuality questioned.
I wouldn't say "vicious wild animal", though... I would say the respect I have is more the respect a man ought to have for a woman. In my humble opinion, at least.
If I offended you, or KodKod, with my jests, I sincerely apologize. I didn't quite comprehend the fact that the atmosphere had grown more serious in nature. I was simply engaging in what I thought to be - and what I'd assumed you thought was - entertaining verbal sparring.
And now to re-rail the thread... For a megaproject, I would build a tower. A big one. with a rollered track leading up to the top. And then... Then... Minecarts would be invented, and I would send an elf to the moon. Or myself. It would be fun. Provided I had a lake to land in.
@Corai who ninja'd me: The last image on that lies... the sword shouldn't have been able to be constructed if KodKod killed all her kobolds. :P
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 10:34:27 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on April 06, 2012, 10:36:31 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 06, 2012, 10:38:18 pm
If I offended you, or KodKod, with my jests, I sincerely apologize.
Oh don't worry, you didn't offend me. It's just that attempting to describe "woman scorned" in words is like trying to describe "extinction-level catastrophe". No matter what you do there's no disguising the fact that it's an utterly terrible thing beyond all rational proportion.
"Viscious wild animal" is probably right, funnily enough. There are a lot of domestic cats these days, but there are plenty of leopardesses stalking amidst the night, and all beasts are savage at heart if you back them into a corner.
Post by: wierd on April 06, 2012, 11:13:05 pm
I just felt I needed to explain exactly where I was coming from on the issue, as its an angle not normally expected from my gender. (Or at least that has been my experience on the matter.)
Sorry for the poetic allegories. Poetry is about the closest match for what could distill even the faintest vapor of what a woman's rage is, in word form. (And that is an poor vessel indeed.)
I know what it is. I would be a thrice damned fool to ever invoke it! LOL!
Best advice I could ever give to another man? Don't idolize your woman, but don't mistreat her either. Imagine her with warts and puss in you mind for a moment, reflct upon all her dirty habbits and mannerisms, and ask if you could love her,even then. If you cannot, then you have no business wooing her. Love the woman. Be yourself. If these cannot be met, you will not find contentment. Don't lie to yourself, and for god's sake, don't lie to her.
:)
Post by: RAKninja on April 07, 2012, 12:46:38 am
a man is perfectly capable of feeling the same emotions, and executing the described actions. perhaps it has been worse, historically, with the man in the scorned position, considering the power men have wielded in western society.
but yea, equality means no discrimination, but equality also means no special treatment.
sometimes i wonder how much is my own natural opinion, and how much is the combat arms brainwashing talking. the damnedest thing that brainwashing is. despite being aware that i was being conditioned, the conditioning stuck, and has been with me for years after i got out of the service. isnt the common knowledge that being aware of such a "mind control" program prevents it from working?
Post by: wierd on April 07, 2012, 01:18:06 am
No,
And no. :D
Yes, we are supposed to live in an enlightened age, where gender equality is supposed to reign.
No, a man's indignation is nowhere near as vicious as a woman's. A man will blow up, be angry, and vent it all out. A woman will blow up, be angry, vent, then hold endless unrelenting grudges and vengeful action until the day she dies.
No, knowing about the brainwashing only enables you to attempt to defeat and overcome it. It does not imply immunity.
Post by: Talvieno on April 07, 2012, 01:28:41 am
wierd: Actually, no. Mentally, a man is just as capable at holding grudges as women are. And capable of getting just as angry. Traditionally, they were always the gender screwing the other gender over (figuratively speaking), and thus the phrase came to be. I studied neurology and psychology for a while. Any differences between men's and women's mental attitudes/tendencies/personalities are completely from "specialized treatment" upbringing (which I actually in part support). A good example of this (the lack of upbringing by gender) is "tomboys" - women who "act like men". The specialized treatment is rapidly disappearing as we move forwards. Which stinks, somewhat - the true gentlemen are disappearing as well, and it's partially because of society. I've actually been accused of being sexist by simply holding the door open for someone, though that was several years ago.
RAKninja - I'm going to guess that's yourself. Brainwashing typically disappears after being in familiar settings, around people you know.
Also, this is all horribly, horribly off-topic...
EDIT: unless we're discussing potential discussions within the fortress.
in which case this is still horribly off topic.
EDITEDIT:
I'm glad I didn't offend. I worry I do. But I still wouldn't say "animal"... it just sounds wrong to me to call a woman an "animal", I don't know...If I offended you, or KodKod, with my jests, I sincerely apologize.
Oh don't worry, you didn't offend me. It's just that attempting to describe "woman scorned" in words is like trying to describe "extinction-level catastrophe". No matter what you do there's no disguising the fact that it's an utterly terrible thing beyond all rational proportion.
"Viscious wild animal" is probably right, funnily enough. There are a lot of domestic cats these days, but there are plenty of leopardesses stalking amidst the night, and all beasts are savage at heart if you back them into a corner.
Missed that before.
Post by: Lord Dullard on April 07, 2012, 02:02:42 am
Yes,
No,
And no. :D
Yes, we are supposed to live in an enlightened age, where gender equality is supposed to reign.
No, a man's indignation is nowhere near as vicious as a woman's. A man will blow up, be angry, and vent it all out. A woman will blow up, be angry, vent, then hold endless unrelenting grudges and vengeful action until the day she dies.
No, knowing about the brainwashing only enables you to attempt to defeat and overcome it. It does not imply immunity.
Gah, just no, no, no. The biggest hurdle in pretty much any relationship I've been in has been getting over my own grudges and temperament. In fact, I find that women, in general, are more reasonable about such things (this is anecdotal, but whatever, I have nothing else to work with, so). Of course it's not ALWAYS the case, and I've been in a fair share of situations in which both parties (or just the girl) were being the bigger arse, but for the most part I'm usually the one who has to actively remind myself not to hold petty grudges and be pissy just for the sake of being pissy.
Post by: RAKninja on April 07, 2012, 02:11:48 am
my brief military career has changed me profoundly. the terrain or weather can profoundly unease me. as do large groups of people. you'll note the double use of "profound", as i cannot adequately express the sensation. to this day, if i hear the right kind of siren, i'll be up and moving before i realize where i'm going.
i got out of the service six years ago now.
Talvieno:
if you've been simulating conversations in fort mode, you've been discussing gender equality with a goblin master thief. assuming this discussion was taking place in a meeting hall, and leaving the forum is somewhat akin to leaving the map....
A CHILD HAS BEEN ABDUCTED!
Post by: wierd on April 07, 2012, 02:17:36 am
(I would expect that a great deal is cultural. It has been my experience that most "girls" my age (I reserve the word women for mentally mature individuals) innately despise the fact that I am completely immune to the "female toolkit". The concept that I don't find them attractive, and am also not gay, is taken to immediately be a personal insult against their desirability, comparable to calling them a horsefaced nag to their face. As such, my estimation that women are more vindictive than men could just be observer bias, however I find that "women scorned" often results in more external support amongst women than the inverse does among men.)
As for the on-topic discussion... already said what I would do. :) find myself a nice quiet little hill a few miles away from the fortress, with a fresh water supply, good vegetation, and abundant animal life. Wait for the bloodletting to pass, then reup my civic connections once the madness ended.
Post by: Corai on April 07, 2012, 02:22:16 am
Quite right about being off topic, but I strongly disagree about innate behavior. Just how much is cultural vs biological is a raging debate in psychology that I don't want anything to do with it.
(I would expect that a great deal is cultural. It has been my experience that most "girls" my age (I reserve the word women for mentally mature individuals) innately despise the fact that I am completely immune to the "female toolkit". The concept that I don't find them attractive, and am also not gay, is taken to immediately be a personal insult against their desirability, comparable to calling them a horsefaced nag to their face. As such, my estimation that women are more vindictive than men could just be observer bias, however I find that "women scorned" often results in more external support amongst women than the inverse does among men.)
As for the on-topic discussion... already said what I would do. :) find myself a nice quiet little hill a few miles away from the fortress, with a fresh water supply, good vegetation, and abundant animal life. Wait for the bloodletting to pass, then reup my civic connections once the madness ended.
A thief! Kill the skulking filth!
Post by: wierd on April 07, 2012, 02:24:49 am
"The dwarf Weird Joykill has arrived!"
"A sturdy creature fond of food and drink!"
(He brought a picnic basket full of berries, luxury milled soaps, and medicinal salves as a neighbory gift.)
Post by: Corai on April 07, 2012, 02:27:10 am
No,
"The dwarf Weird Joykill has arrived!"
"A sturdy creature fond of food and drink!"
(He brought a picnic basket full of berries, luxury milled soaps, and medicinal salves as a neighbory gift.)
A visitor! Kill the unwanted filth!
Post by: wierd on April 07, 2012, 02:30:23 am
Not at me you idiots! Aim it over there! That's where the goblin ambusher's playing penucle are!
Post by: Corai on April 07, 2012, 02:31:21 am
*sees the magma cannon being aimed...*
Not at me you idiots! Aim it over there! That's where the goblin ambusher's playing penucle are!
This is fun.
A vile force of darkness has arrived!
The magma hits the Goblin Bowmaster in the head, bruising the muscle!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 07, 2012, 02:32:49 am
Post by: wierd on April 07, 2012, 02:39:10 am
The goblin archer lashes out at Weird Joykill, colliding in a heap!
Weird Joykill thrusts the *<*milled giant squirrel soap*>* into the goblin's face, bruising the the muscle through the fat!
The goblin archer rolls away!
Post by: Corai on April 07, 2012, 02:41:31 am
Weird Joykill dodges the <iron arrow>
The goblin archer lashes out at Weird Joykill, colliding in a heap!
Weird Joykill thrusts the *<*milled giant squirrel soap*>* into the goblin's face, bruising the the muscle through the fat!
The goblin archer rolls away!
The elven caravan from Ishu Beign has arrived!
The elf merchant dodges the <iron bolt>
The goblin punches the elf merchant in the right back tooth, severing it in a arc!
The elf merchant kicks the goblin marksgoblin in the head, jamming the skull through the brain, tearing the brain!
The marksgoblin has been struck down
Post by: wierd on April 07, 2012, 02:46:51 am
Weird joykill is enraged!
Weird joykill as entered a martial trance!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 07, 2012, 02:49:36 am
The goblin lasher swings the =iron scurge= at weird joykill, hitting the picnic basket, and spilling its contents!HugoLuman throws [UNUTTERABLE] the rapes of mind! Weird catches it in his left hand!
Weird joykill is enraged!
Weird joykill as entered a martial trance!
Post by: Corai on April 07, 2012, 02:49:56 am
The goblin lasher swings the =iron scurge= at weird joykill, hitting the picnic basket, and spilling its contents!
Weird joykill is enraged!
Weird joykill as entered a martial trance!
A thief! Kill the skulking filth!
The goblin bowmaster bashes the Kobold Thief CoraiUnki's head with his +Steel bow+, bruising the fat, fracturing the skull!
The Kobold Thief CoraiUnki passes out from pain!
Post by: wierd on April 07, 2012, 02:54:04 am
The =<*milled kitten soap*>= smashes through the +Iron helmet+, driving the skull through the brain, tearing the brain!
The goblin lasher has been struck down!
Weird joykill claims the =iron scurge=!
Post by: Corai on April 07, 2012, 02:56:17 am
CoraiUnki regains consciousness!
He drives the <Large Silver Dagger> through the Goblin Bowmaster's head, shattering the skull, tearing the brain, and tearing a major artery!
The Goblin Bowmaster has been struck down
Post by: WillowLuman on April 07, 2012, 03:01:24 am
Post by: Corai on April 07, 2012, 03:06:06 am
HugoLuman throws fine steel weapons at Corai and weird! HugoLuman throws fine steel shields at Corai and weird! HugoLuman throws kittens at the hidden goblin crosbowman!
The kobold thief CoraiUnki screams and runs!
He has passed out from the pain!
He has regained consciousness!
He has passed out from the pain!
He has regained consciousness!
He has passed out from the pain!
He has regained consciousness!
He has passed out from the pain!
He has regained consciousness!
He has passed out from the pain!
He has regained consciousness!
He has passed out from the pain!
He has regained consciousness!
He has passed out from the pain!
He has regained consciousness!
CoraiUnki begs the dwarves for mercy!
Post by: wierd on April 07, 2012, 03:08:41 am
Weird joykill swings the =iron scurge= at the goblin mace master, severing the arm!
The severed piece flies off in an arc!
The goblin mace master swings the -iron mace-, hitting weird joykill in the body, bruising the muscle, bruising the fat, and bruising the second right false rib!
Weird joykill vomits!
Weird joykill swings the =iron scurge= at the goblin mace master, severing the head!
The severed part flies off in an arc!
Weird joykill is no longer enraged!
The flying =steel weapons= hits weird joykill from behind, knocking him to the ground!
The flying *steel shield* hits weird joykill in the face, bruising the nose!
They flying kitten collides with weird joykill, and fall to the ground!
The kitten is stunned!
Weird joykill is stunned!
Post by: Corai on April 07, 2012, 03:11:00 am
(I don't know, but this is fun!)
Weird joykill swings the =iron scurge= at the goblin mace master, severing the arm!
The severed piece flies off in an arc!
The goblin mace master swings the -iron mace-, hitting weird joykill in the body, bruising the muscle, bruising the fat, and bruising the second right false rib!
Weird joykill vomits!
Weird joykill swings the =iron scurge= at the goblin mace master, severing the head!
The severed part flies off in an arc!
Weird joykill is no longer enraged!
The flying =steel weapons= hits weird joykill from behind, knocking him to the ground!
The flying *steel shield* hits weird joykill in the face, bruising the nose!
They flying kitten collides with weird joykill, and fall to the ground!
The kitten is stunned!
Weird joykill is stunned!
The flying =steel weapons= hits Coraiunki from the side, tearing the muscle!
The flying *steel shield* hits CoraiUnki in the right foot, shattering the ankle!
Post by: wierd on April 07, 2012, 03:18:57 am
The goblin mace lord kicks the remains of the Xxpicnic basketxX, shearing the handle!
The severed part flies off in an arc!
Weird joykill is enraged!
Weird joykill throws the kitten at the goblin macelord!
The goblin macelord dodges out of the way!
The kitten collides with an obstacle!
The stray kitten (tame) has been struck down!
The goblin macelord charges weird joykill!
Weird joykill swings the =iron scurge= at the goblin macelord, severing the left leg!
The severed piece flies off in an arc!
The goblin macelord falls to the ground!
Weird joykill kicks the goblin macelord in the head, bruising the fat through the *<*iron helm*>*!
The goblin macelord stands up!
Weird joykill swings the =iron scurge= at the goblin macelord, severing the right leg!
The goblin macelord tumbles to the ground!
The goblin macelord gives in to pain!
Weird joykill jumps up and down on the goblin macelord shouting obcenities, smashing the right 3rd rib, bruising the fat, and bruising the guts!
The goblin macelord has lost conciousness!
The goblin macelord has bled to death!
The goblin archer cancels ambush elven caravan X3: morale failure.
Post by: Garath on April 07, 2012, 04:03:26 am
Post by: Splint on April 07, 2012, 04:43:53 am
I'd likely find my end to a goblin crossbowman or a lasher. Or berserking whoever beating me to detah with a left sock/pair of pants/left shoe/chair/table/log/insertrandomitemhere.
Post by: Oliolli on April 07, 2012, 05:21:42 am
The goblin archer slams into an obstacle and blows apart!
The goblin archer has died after colliding with an obstacle.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 07, 2012, 05:38:21 am
Mount Taygetus. Using our facilities costs one weak baby.
Post by: Kibstable on April 07, 2012, 07:36:24 am
Oh, the goblins and the elves are already in...
you want me to pull the lever again? OK...
Oh... was that one of the new imigrants or a goblin...
it was a goblin, phew, but does that still count as an abduction.
Oh, you want me to go make slabs now.
<goes to get a drink>
Post by: WillowLuman on April 07, 2012, 01:05:57 pm
Post by: Amallar on April 07, 2012, 02:20:25 pm
Post by: Fniff on April 07, 2012, 02:31:08 pm
Fniff canceled write: interrupted by confusion.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 07, 2012, 03:32:40 pm
Fniff, child, has arrived.The dwarven child Fniff has come! A short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry.
Fniff canceled write: interrupted by confusion.
Post by: AfroScotsDwarf on April 07, 2012, 03:48:40 pm
Post by: Corai on April 07, 2012, 04:10:34 pm
:DDDDD
Post by: WillowLuman on April 07, 2012, 04:30:36 pm
A thief has stolen a masterwork steel longsword!Wait, don't forget the shield!
:DDDDD
Post by: Corai on April 07, 2012, 04:32:09 pm
A thief has stolen a masterwork steel longsword!Wait, don't forget the shield!
:DDDDD
A thief has collapsed from the weight!
CoraiUnki has been knocked unconscious!
Post by: Talvieno on April 07, 2012, 04:32:24 pm
Fifty-seven people crazily transported to dwarfworld via a bizarre copy of DFHack (I used dfusion - simple_embark)... all Bay12'ers:
On the dolomite wall of a deep, dark hallway, beautifully covered with swirling, artistic engravings of laptops, computers, iPhones and pixelated smiley faces, there exists a blank patch. On this blank patch is a long section of beautifully engraved handwriting - labeled at the top in large cursive letters engraved with great care into the living stone: "The journal of Talvieno Violencelashes, dictated by himself, and engraved by Fen Wheeldreamy." It looks as if it hasn't been touched for a long time, and curiously you brush your fingertips over the strange lettering, wondering how such odd fonts came to be in a land of dwarves and elves. Holding your lantern closer to the wall, you begin to read.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Part 2 >> (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=106539.msg3176212#msg3176212)
Post by: Corai on April 07, 2012, 04:40:11 pm
Well, just for fun... I decided to make a fortress in DF - with everybody in this thread. Just like in the OP. ...At least, everybody I didn't accidentally miss.
Fifty-seven people crazily transported to dwarfworld via a bizarre copy of DFHack (I used dfusion - simple_embark)... all Bay12'ers:
On the dolomite wall of a deep, dark hallway, beautifully covered with swirling, artistic engravings of laptops, computers, iPhones and pixelated smiley faces, there exists a blank patch. On this blank patch is a long section of beautifully engraved handwriting - labeled at the top in large cursive letters engraved with great care into the living stone: "The journal of Talvieno Violencelashes, dictated by himself, and engraved by Fen Wheeldreamy." It looks as if it hasn't been touched for a long time, and curiously you brush your fingertips over the strange lettering, wondering how such odd fonts came to be in a land of dwarves and elves. Holding your lantern closer to the wall, you begin to read.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
First, WIN.
Second, what? No Corai Kobolds coming to steal your stuff?
EDIT: I demand you continue this! I DEMAND MORE THE TWELFTH BAY
Pwease :3
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 07, 2012, 04:46:23 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Masterwork post.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 07, 2012, 04:47:17 pm
I must also ask what a woman's scorn feels like. No one takes me seriously enough to waste perfectly good scorn, unfortunately.
I agree completely; couldn't piss anyone off to save my life, as odd as that would be...
Post by: KodKod on April 07, 2012, 04:47:21 pm
None of you would be alive.
Post by: Corai on April 07, 2012, 04:50:03 pm
You mean to say that after six months I was still living in a dorm room?
None of you would be alive.
Hey, its real-time what hes getting at, it would take YEARS just for a entire squad of legendaries to get your temple built.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 07, 2012, 04:53:41 pm
None of you would be alive.
Bah! You wouldn't be able to kill me, I'd take my own life if it meant no one else got the kill.
Oh... Right.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 07, 2012, 04:58:21 pm
You mean to say that after six months I was still living in a dorm room?
None of you would be alive.
Kiss Ass
It would take six months for a team of 10 legendary miners just to excavate enough dorms for this community, and a year for them to be smoothed or furnished if half the population were working on it. It would then take a year for any temple worth anything to any sort of deity to be excavated without fear of collapsing the roof, and more than two to smooth and engrave everything.
Quit yackin about our work rates, or you can help out!
Just got the bloody magma forges dug out and some dumbass just had to stand in the middle of the magma. Now we're working on the catacombs for the lot of ya that will tantrum!
Post by: KodKod on April 07, 2012, 05:02:41 pm
I don't need a temple right away, naturally it should be high on the priorities list, but that's besides the point.
I just need my own little personal space and a door.
Come to think of it, you'd all best have locking doors.
Post by: Corai on April 07, 2012, 05:04:07 pm
I don't want excuses, I want results!
I don't need a temple right away, naturally it should be high on the priorities list, but that's besides the point.
I just need my own little personal space and a door.
Come to think of it, you'd all best have locking doors.
A Murderor! Run away!
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 07, 2012, 05:10:57 pm
Come to think of it, you'd all best have locking doors.
A Murderor! Run away!
Oh that's good, for a moment I thought you meant murderer.
A grammar hammerer! Run away!
Post by: Corai on April 07, 2012, 05:15:50 pm
Come to think of it, you'd all best have locking doors.
A Murderor! Run away!
Oh that's good, for a moment I thought you meant murderer.
A grammar hammerer! Run away!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: KodKod on April 07, 2012, 05:19:08 pm
Post by: Talvieno on April 07, 2012, 05:33:32 pm
Corai - you hung around the wagon most of the time. :-\ I tried to keep the skill sets as close as possible to what was described in the thread. We never went below 10 idlers, actually. (so many people decided to say they were "useless"... ::) lol)
KodKod - really sorry. Eric Blank and Talvieno were just beginning miners when they "arrived". I barely had time to do what I did, and despite having 4-5 miners, I only have two picks. If it makes you feel any better, the bedrooms were up next. I thought about adding that the women especially were upset about the room situation, but decided against it for one reason or another.
Eric Blank, Lol. (hoping the "kiss ass" wasn't at me) Your dwarf and mine were the first two to grab picks, so we were the miners.
EDIT: Oh, and KodKod... When you play DF, you start with 7 dwarves and an ample supply of food. lol When I started it today, I had 57 dwarves, the greater majority of them were skill-less, and I had just as much food as someone would normally start with - about 50. To feed 57 people. I honestly can't believe we survived - we almost starved. Not quite, but almost. Carving out 7 small bedrooms in six months is one thing. Carving out 57 in six months is very, very different. Especially if you have no idea what you're doing.
Post by: Corai on April 07, 2012, 05:35:23 pm
Corai, thanks. :P Thank you, too, Loud Whispers. :D As to continuing it, I don't know. My laptop crashed right after I got it uploaded and I lost most (not all) of the save - the last time I'd saved it was in the middle of spring. If you didn't mind a possible story change (I'd keep it as close as possible), I could continue. And if enough people want me to continue, that is.
Corai - you hung around the wagon most of the time. :-\ I tried to keep the skill sets as close as possible to what was described in the thread. We never went below 10 idlers, actually. (so many people decided to say they were "useless"... ::) lol)
KodKod - really sorry. Eric Blank and Talvieno were just beginning miners when they "arrived". I barely had time to do what I did, and despite having 4-5 miners, I only have two picks. If it makes you feel any better, the bedrooms were up next. I thought about adding that the women especially were upset about the room situation, but decided against it for one reason or another.
Eric Blank, Lol. (hoping the "kiss ass" wasn't at me) Your dwarf and mine were the first two to grab picks, so we were the miners.
Well just say im a kobold and im happy. Also throw in my Cult of KodKod, its fun.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 07, 2012, 06:34:33 pm
A grammar hammerer! Run away!
Coined it!
Post by: Archereon on April 07, 2012, 08:08:46 pm
While I'm shorter than average height, I'm also skinny, lacking in the facial hair department, usually sober, and generally not very fond of labor; I have serious, serious procrastination issues (yet somehow manage to get high marks despite writing a paper that I had a month to research in write overnight).
My only option would be to dedicate my life to the ideal Cacame Awemedinade set for people everywhere.
Post by: Talvieno on April 07, 2012, 08:29:34 pm
If I were in the DF universe, I'd almost certainly be an Elf, which sucks.http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=106539.msg3166116;topicseen#msg3166116 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=106539.msg3166116;topicseen#msg3166116) Read.
While I'm shorter than average height, I'm also skinny, lacking in the facial hair department, usually sober, and generally not very fond of labor; I have serious, serious procrastination issues (yet somehow manage to get high marks despite writing a paper that I had a month to research in write overnight).
My only option would be to dedicate my life to the ideal Cacame Awemedinade set for people everywhere.
Corai - all right. lol If I redo it, I will. I don't know if I will, though - you seem to be the only one interested in my continuing it. :P
Loud Whispers - you're were still lurking around the meeting halls when it quit. You're okay. You just have a lot of friends, which makes you very vulnerable to tantruming/going nuts.
Oh, and two things I forgot to mention.
1. I used the wrong DF folder by accident, and there are three races I modded in... so if we continued it, those would show up sooner or later. :-\
2. FPS death is partially directly related to pathing vs number of items. At the start of the fort, even with 60 dwarves, I had no noticeable framerate loss. And I have a bad system. I think that's worth mentioning.
Post by: Archereon on April 07, 2012, 08:39:44 pm
If I were in the DF universe, I'd almost certainly be an Elf, which sucks.http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=106539.msg3166116;topicseen#msg3166116 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=106539.msg3166116;topicseen#msg3166116) Read.
While I'm shorter than average height, I'm also skinny, lacking in the facial hair department, usually sober, and generally not very fond of labor; I have serious, serious procrastination issues (yet somehow manage to get high marks despite writing a paper that I had a month to research in write overnight).
My only option would be to dedicate my life to the ideal Cacame Awemedinade set for people everywhere.
Corai - all right. lol If I redo it, I will. I don't know if I will, though - you seem to be the only one interested in my continuing it. :P
Loud Whispers - you're were still lurking around the meeting halls when it quit. You're okay. You just have a lot of friends, which makes you very vulnerable to tantruming/going nuts.
Oh, and two things I forgot to mention.
1. I used the wrong DF folder by accident, and there are three races I modded in... so if we continued it, those would show up sooner or later. :-\
2. FPS death is partially directly related to pathing vs number of items. At the start of the fort, even with 60 dwarves, I had no noticeable framerate loss. And I have a bad system. I think that's worth mentioning.
Ah excellent. Given DF's...Interesting...physics system (Skilled Mechanic/Siege Engineer) and the tendency of succession forts to built impractical mega-project weapons, I've been brainstorming on how to make the ultimate dwarven cannon...
OKAYHERESTHEPLAN!!!
Using a series of roped
It's dorfy because:
1. It involves magma, lever pulling, screw pumps, and probably a water reactor considering the amount of power we'll need.
2. It's very likely to backfire and kill the entire fortress, though at least it'll probably take the entire siege/elven caravan/whatever it's aimed at with it.
3. It involves the HFS.
4. It involves weaponizing the HFS.
5. Large numbers of dwarves are likely to die in its construction, and large numbers of elves will hopefully die in its activation.
Post by: wierd on April 07, 2012, 10:05:09 pm
I'm not skill-less........ sure, I might be getting fat from riding behind a desk making blueprints all day these days, but I know how to make a livable structure out of ambient materials in 24 hours... and a number of other things.
It sounds like bosting, but my dad was a touched in the head war veteran, and insisted that I gain such skills. You try living with what ammounts to a drill seargent for a dad for your whole childhood, and not come away knowing how to make thermite grenades, plastique explosives, wigwams, aspirin, and gods so many other things its hard to list them! Jeeze!
(Civilization could collapse tonight, and i'd be fine!)
The only trouble I would have, is that the DF universe has fantasy made up plants and animals that I know next to nothing about. It has willow trees, so at least I could make aspirin.. which is a plus if anyone came down with a fever... but food? Options would be limited without a formal introduction to what exactly a fisher berry, a prickle berry, and a sunberry looked like. I mean, here in my native area, I know all kinds of wild edible ditch weeds, but from what I see in the raws, toady's botanitcal index is rather limited.
(Maybe I should make a super revamp mod?)
I'm afraid that fish, slippery elm food (if you don't know what it is, don't ask. Just pretend it is pooridge) , and wild strawberries would have to do until somebody familiar with the native flora showed up in a caravan. Knowing my luck it would be the pointy eared menace!
Post by: Reudh on April 07, 2012, 10:09:43 pm
I know how to build a basic above ground structure too.
(Experienced bushwalker, father is/was too.)
Post by: Talvieno on April 07, 2012, 10:20:09 pm
Skill-less?I never said you were. lol In fact, Wierd, your dwarf had a total of seven separate skills - putting you in the top five of the most varied skillsets. A jack-of-all-trades, if you will. You were vital to the fortress's existence, and then you made an artifact on top of it. As you can't make artifact food or artifact soap, you made a mechanism, if you read. A very good one, too.
I'm not skill-less........ sure, I might be getting fat from riding behind a desk making blueprints all day these days, but I know how to make a livable structure out of ambient materials in 24 hours... and a number of other things.
-snip-
Aye, I could make what passed for aspirin too.I gave you five different skills - the ones you listed. Cook, Mechanic, Architect, Grower... and... one other I can't remember at the moment, but I'll look it up. :-\ I think you said "thresher", but I gave you "Farming (fields)" because I couldn't find "threshing".
I know how to build a basic above ground structure too.
(Experienced bushwalker, father is/was too.)
I put a lot of effort into getting everything right. =P
Basically, according to my DF model, the fortress would do pretty well, other than a bit of a hunger problem to start out with. We'd all be happy, but when/if anyone died, all of us would feel it. Oh, and I intentionally embarked in a savage area as a worst-case scenario. Which is why there were giant keas in the first place.
Post by: wierd on April 07, 2012, 10:37:08 pm
Basically, the first curing on lye soap results in a harsh, hard bar. (Assuming you made it right and didn't end up with "goo soap" or "fatty soap")
To make nicer, less rash inducing bars of soap, you have to mill it. Basically, this means grinding up the soap, adding a little water, melting it down and recasting it into bars for a second curing period.
At this time you can add various nice smelling things and antibacterial agents that would never have survived the harsh alkalinity of the initial production. (Cedar leaf oil, lavender, rose water, etc.)
In addition to fragrances and antibacterial agents, you can make glycerin beauty bars at this time. To do so, you need either honey or refined sugar, and some form of hard liquor. While the soap is being melted for the second curing, you add 1tbs of refined sugar and 1 cup of hard liquor to every pound of raw soap. The soap will immediately clear, and the bars produced will be translucent. Its not as good for laundry and heavy washing, but it is better for skin, especially for the face and hands.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Depending on the initial quality of the base soap, and the quality of the workmanship in the milling process, you can have something that is soap in name only and has more in common with engine cleaner, or something more in line with an oil of olay beauty bar. Artifact though? I don't know about you, but I don't like my soap to menace with spikes of anything. :D
Post by: RAKninja on April 07, 2012, 10:37:57 pm
RAKninja had his foot bitten offart imitates life.
tis what removed me from real world military service. while not severed in any part, i took enough bone damage to make my right leg red on the wounds screen. it healed to yellow and has stayed there.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 07, 2012, 10:41:34 pm
Post by: Corai on April 07, 2012, 10:42:48 pm
And ill be happy, have me killed with fire if KodKod adopts me, I rather die slowly in fire then by KodKod.
Post by: KodKod on April 07, 2012, 10:44:20 pm
And ill be happy, have me killed with fire if KodKod adopts me, I rather die slowly in fire then by KodKod.
At least you have your priorities straight.
That's probably for the best, it'd be less painful for you that way.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 07, 2012, 10:44:35 pm
Post by: wierd on April 07, 2012, 10:53:30 pm
I see you in my mind's eye taking a scented glycerine bar if available, but I can't place which you would grab. Lavender and rosewater basically scream "old lady that's older than the queen mum!", but I don't see you having a preference for cedarleaf, pine rosin, mint, etc.. either.
While I could possibly see you picking strawberry, getting the SCENT of a strawberry is not exactly an easy task, which is why modern science uses artificial chemicals to approximate it.
Are there cocoa nuts in DF? I could see that perhaps.....
Again, sorry for the creepy question... just the idea of this silly hypothetica situation makes my insane brain meat ask retarded questions.
Post by: KodKod on April 07, 2012, 10:56:19 pm
I'd probably have to turn down cocoa butter soap because there's a good chance I might eat it.
Post by: wierd on April 07, 2012, 11:01:02 pm
*is rotten.*
Post by: WillowLuman on April 07, 2012, 11:02:37 pm
Post by: wierd on April 07, 2012, 11:05:24 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 07, 2012, 11:07:09 pm
So, the cocoanut milled soap is what we sell to the busty human trade princesses then?
*is rotten.*
Wait. When you said "cocoa nut" you could have meant one of two things. I have automatically assumed you just misspoke and meant "cocoa bean", but now it's sounding more like you meant to say "coconut". Those are two totally different things!
If it's coconut then I don't want it, meh.
But cocoa bean, which is made into cocoa butter that is very often used in soap and skin-care products... well to put it lightly it is the most delicious-smelling substance known to humanity.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 07, 2012, 11:08:00 pm
Post by: wierd on April 07, 2012, 11:12:18 pm
Cocoa butter makes a fantastic milling agent for moisturizing bars. The scent is destroyed if it is used to make the soap base, and it also loses its hydrating properties when you do.
Milled luxry soaps with cocoa butter and shea butter usually use a coconut oil base, due to the relative cheapness. Some use olive oil. The harsh lye kills the "tanning salon" smell.
Post by: Oliolli on April 08, 2012, 12:46:47 am
Also, while reading that, I realised I could have also been made a woodcutter. Living in Finland in the middle of a bog (literally, a bog), one has to learn these things.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 08, 2012, 01:27:39 am
Post by: Gizogin on April 08, 2012, 02:15:27 am
Anyway, I'm back to-
Gizogin Akithnil, Chief Medical Dwarf cancels state intent: taken by mood
Gizogin Akithnil, Chief Medical Dwarf looses a roar of laughter, fell and terrible!
Post by: Fen on April 08, 2012, 03:05:21 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
This.. This is beautiful. If you could continue this, it would be an amazing thing.
Fen Wheeldreamy has taken a fey mood!
Fen Wheeldreamy has claimed a smooth dolomite wall!
Fen Wheeldreamy has begun a mysterious construction...
Post by: Oliolli on April 08, 2012, 03:23:03 am
Seriously, this thread is moving ridiculously fast.
I've also noticed. At one point it advanced 10 pages in one short night.
Post by: Reudh on April 08, 2012, 03:38:37 am
Post by: WillowLuman on April 08, 2012, 03:41:25 am
It's true though. We joke about elven genocide in scorching magma, but when we get down to it, DF is about eking out a precarious life in the mountains.*Nods sagely*
Post by: Sabreur on April 08, 2012, 03:57:38 am
Well, just for fun... I decided to make a fortress in DF - with everybody in this thread. Just like in the OP. ...At least, everybody I didn't accidentally miss.
Fifty-seven people crazily transported to dwarfworld via a bizarre copy of DFHack (I used dfusion - simple_embark)... all Bay12'ers:
On the dolomite wall of a deep, dark hallway, beautifully covered with swirling, artistic engravings of laptops, computers, iPhones and pixelated smiley faces, there exists a blank patch. On this blank patch is a long section of beautifully engraved handwriting - labeled at the top in large cursive letters engraved with great care into the living stone: "The journal of Talvieno Violencelashes, dictated by himself, and engraved by Fen Wheeldreamy." It looks as if it hasn't been touched for a long time, and curiously you brush your fingertips over the strange lettering, wondering how such odd fonts came to be in a land of dwarves and elves. Holding your lantern closer to the wall, you begin to read.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Nice! I love how you portrayed my character, it's pretty spot-on. And honestly, this is pretty much how I see things going for us. "Okay, we've got a wall up, we've got food... we might actually survive! OH GOD GIANT KEAS RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"
Just yesterday I caught myself looking up how to blow glass at home because I'm disappointed in my lack of 'dwarf' skills. If you see in the news that some idiot programmer managed to kill himself in a freak magma accident, you'll know I went too far.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 08, 2012, 04:21:23 am
Since they're the only ones, it lets them be adventurers!
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on April 08, 2012, 06:08:34 am
Three of us would all be helming seperate megaprojects. Most likely ones that cross at certain points and will likely kill the fort if either are used.
Five of us would be fiddling the fort's basic layout to try and improve it, instead opening it to horrors above or below in the process.
Another 20-or-so would be hanging around the meeting hall, listening to the stories of the other eight.
The rest would be scattered throughout the fort, going through their own unique and insane deeds.
None would dare approach or trade with the fort, knowing the depths of madness that lurked within its halls.
Post by: Reudh on April 08, 2012, 08:03:51 am
Post by: Fniff on April 08, 2012, 08:24:52 am
Fniff cancels work: interrupted by magma.
Still a kid, just lazing about with no real skills.
Post by: Talvieno on April 08, 2012, 10:51:16 am
But a question to everybody (especially those experienced with modding): Is it possible to disable a civilization from visiting you (be it to attack or trade) after the world has been generated? If not, and if I continue with this fort, eventually we will see those three extra civs, which are rather... un-DF. It wasn't intentional, I just started the game in the wrong folder. As a result, if I don't find a way to turn them off, we'll see horrors, jokes, and aliens...
Also, ThatAussieGuy, I think we'd be a little too preoccupied with survival to build megaprojects... at least, at first. :P If we're lucky it would end up like Weatherwires or FlareChannel, and we'd survive until we died of old age... but honestly, this being Dwarf Fortress, few fortresses end up like that... We'd definitely be preoccupied with survival.
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 08, 2012, 10:59:58 am
Thanks, Fen, Oliolli. :P Four people wanting me to continue is more than I expected, so I'll continue it, and try to see if I can get back to where I was with as few story changes as possible.You can live on an island or turn invaders off, and don't build a trade depot. The dwarven traders will still come but they'll just mill around the edge of the map.
But a question to everybody (especially those experienced with modding): Is it possible to disable a civilization from visiting you (be it to attack or trade) after the world has been generated? If not, and if I continue with this fort, eventually we will see those three extra civs, which are rather... un-DF. It wasn't intentional, I just started the game in the wrong folder. As a result, if I don't find a way to turn them off, we'll see horrors, jokes, and aliens...
Also, ThatAussieGuy, I think we'd be a little too preoccupied with survival to build megaprojects... at least, at first. :P If we're lucky it would end up like Weatherwires or FlareChannel, and we'd survive until we died of old age... but honestly, this being Dwarf Fortress, few fortresses end up like that... We'd definitely be preoccupied with survival.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 08, 2012, 11:08:21 am
What were they, anyway?
Also, I want a chance to dig myself a spacious room fit for a noble, and fill it with caged prisoners of the female variety. I'm thinking a large (9x9 or so), open main hall with balconies from the second story overlooking it, and a long row of glass windows behind fortifications in the bedroom, which is off to the side of the second story, to admire the caverns through. Oh, and a workshop area downstairs for masonry and mechanics workshops that I can use.
Might as well do something similar for other bay12ers, and randomly conscript those who never reply to this thread by nicknaming a dorf after them.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on April 08, 2012, 11:35:55 am
Indeed, there's no direct means to disable the modded civs.
What were they, anyway?
Also, I want a chance to dig myself a spacious room fit for a noble, and fill it with caged prisoners of the female variety. I'm thinking a large (9x9 or so), open main hall with balconies from the second story overlooking it, and a long row of glass windows behind fortifications in the bedroom, which is off to the side of the second story, to admire the caverns through. Oh, and a workshop area downstairs for masonry and mechanics workshops that I can use.
Might as well do something similar for other bay12ers, and randomly conscript those who never reply to this thread by nicknaming a dorf after them.
Note to self: Fill next I start with Bay12-named 'conscript' dwarves. They work harder than the regular kind. Science says so
Post by: KodKod on April 08, 2012, 11:39:14 am
As a result, if I don't find a way to turn them off, we'll see horrors, jokes, and aliens...
You could simply alter the raws slightly so that they die the moment they enter the map.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 08, 2012, 11:44:12 am
I've also noticed. At one point it advanced 10 pages in one short night.
Max up that post count per page - for me it's only on 10 pages altogether :P
Loud Whispers - you're were still lurking around the meeting halls when it quit. You're okay. You just have a lot of friends, which makes you very vulnerable to tantruming/going nuts.
Like the way nature intended.
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 08, 2012, 11:45:38 am
This is a good plan, we should also set fire to a piece of lignite and have a never ending bonfire on which to huck their useless non-metal crap/corpses. You could put it in the dining hall and we could all sit around it and sing Kumbayah, or roast cats over it, one of those.
You could simply alter the raws slightly so that they die the moment they enter the map.
Post by: wierd on April 08, 2012, 11:48:47 am
The bones man, the bones!
Post by: WaffleEggnog on April 08, 2012, 11:52:30 am
No! Then we would suceptible to attack by elves that don't like eating people raw (damn cannibal faces). Any way, if bay12 were a mountain hall, I have a feeling it would be full of unmarked doomsday levers, pointless mega projects and fancy elf traps.This is a good plan, we should also set fire to a piece of lignite and have a never ending bonfire on which to huck their useless non-metal crap/corpses. You could put it in the dining hall and we could all sit around it and sing Kumbayah, or roast cats over it, one of those.
You could simply alter the raws slightly so that they die the moment they enter the map.
Post by: wierd on April 08, 2012, 11:57:36 am
"Right next to it, is the "emergency retract the bridge" lever. Be sure not to confuse the two!"
Post by: HmH on April 08, 2012, 12:09:20 pm
and fancy elf traps.Do you mean traps, or traps (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=1604.msg1016057#msg1016057)?
On a side note, I must mention that danger room training, while indeed much faster than the conventional method, would still take weeks of unadulterated torture to turn the trainee legendary.
In other words, any forumite who strikes legendary in the danger room will have proven themselves to be an ultimate badass with inexhaustible reserves of willpower, and thus the only person deserving to be the Twelfth Mountainhome's ruler.
*steps aside to reveal a pair of brand-new danger rooms, stays to watch how Loud Whispers and KodKod react*
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 08, 2012, 12:12:00 pm
Do you mean traps, or traps (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=1604.msg1016057#msg1016057)?
oh hoh oho hohao ohhoo you went there
*steps aside to reveal a pair of brand-new danger rooms, stays to watch how Loud Whispers and KodKod react*
*begins throwing goblins inside*
Anyone who wants to use them has to take down the goblins first.
Post by: wierd on April 08, 2012, 12:16:22 pm
1), you just part down the middle there, and let me into the shiny pokey-stick booth behind you....
2) You can go play with the adorable zombie kitten collection I have in the room just under your feet... (Motions to lever linked to trapdoor)
I should remind you that the kitten room has a caged vampire necromancer walled up just behind a fortification slit, where he can see everything. I'd say there are about 10 generations of catsplosions down there.
Your choice.
Post by: KodKod on April 08, 2012, 12:19:02 pm
...weeks of unadulterated torture...
I'm the Scorpion Pit Overseer, that's my job.
Post by: Talvieno on April 08, 2012, 12:19:56 pm
Indeed, there's no direct means to disable the modded civs.The modded races were Holistic Spawn (yeahhhhhhh...), Manamaids (think hideous crosses between mermaids and manatees), and Scythod (a very alien creature - very warriorlike). Manamaids would be allies, and the other two would try to kill us... If you guys want me to leave them in, I will, but otherwise...
What were they, anyway?
Also, I want a chance to dig myself a spacious room fit for a noble, and fill it with caged prisoners of the female variety. I'm thinking a large (9x9 or so), open main hall with balconies from the second story overlooking it, and a long row of glass windows behind fortifications in the bedroom, which is off to the side of the second story, to admire the caverns through. Oh, and a workshop area downstairs for masonry and mechanics workshops that I can use.
Might as well do something similar for other bay12ers, and randomly conscript those who never reply to this thread by nicknaming a dorf after them.
About the order of rooms... oy... lol i'll see what I can do. Our embark doesn't appear to have much in the way of metals (so far), and I'm trying to figure that one out - we still only have two picks, despite the mountainhome caravan. You and I are working ourselves half to death. :P
Nice solution... This is done how? Do they explode in a cloud of vapor like stones modded to melt and boil away instantaneously?As a result, if I don't find a way to turn them off, we'll see horrors, jokes, and aliens...
You could simply alter the raws slightly so that they die the moment they enter the map.
They're all sentient. :( Non-butcherable.This is a good plan, we should also set fire to a piece of lignite and have a never ending bonfire on which to huck their useless non-metal crap/corpses. You could put it in the dining hall and we could all sit around it and sing Kumbayah, or roast cats over it, one of those.
You could simply alter the raws slightly so that they die the moment they enter the map.
And @Wierd - I have no idea how much the bones are worth. The Twelfth Bay was accidentally started in my secondary testing folder - we might've ended up with mughammers, serrated disc launchers and railguns if I'd chosen another wrong one. Honestly, I think that would've been more fun... :P Sounds like us, too. But the civs are in the folder for testing purposes... and I haven't tested that stuff out yet.
@HmH - I lol'd. :D As to the danger rooms...
Who else thinks danger rooms in The Twelfth Bay would be a good idea?
Ninja'd repeatedly. Kodkod, haven't seen any scorpions yet. The elves might have some, but I don't know if you want tainted scorpions... (actually, given what we're going through atm you might make an exception.)
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 08, 2012, 12:22:04 pm
Your choice.
And you walk in.
The door locks behind you.
You're now stuck in a danger room full of legendary goblins, with a zombie catsplosion behind you.
!!Tactical blunder!!
Post by: wierd on April 08, 2012, 12:25:20 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 08, 2012, 12:32:47 pm
Nice solution... This is done how? Do they explode in a cloud of vapor like stones modded to melt and boil away instantaneously?
Ninja'd repeatedly. Kodkod, haven't seen any scorpions yet. The elves might have some, but I don't know if you want tainted scorpions... (actually, given what we're going through atm you might make an exception.)
The best way is to edit the HOMEOTHERM tag to be more along the lines of 40000, which will cause them all to set on fire and burn
As for the scorpions, get what you can even if it is from the elves. No doubt they will be so grateful to the elves for keeping them captive that they'll choose to generously share their deadly neurotoxins with them.
Post by: wierd on April 08, 2012, 12:36:50 pm
in other news.... Elves brought me some giant bark scorpions and giant kingsnakes....
Post by: KodKod on April 08, 2012, 12:38:50 pm
How are you people getting giant creatures trainable? I just dug through the raws, and the giant creature modifier removes the PET PET_EXOTIC MOUNT and MOUNT_EXOTIC tokens! I had to redact some entries in the giant creature modifier to make my giant lion collection trainable.
in other news.... Elves brought me some giant bark scorpions and giant kingsnakes....
If I'm not mistaken it takes them away from the base creature before new tags are added. Any giant creature which has the [PET] or [PET_EXOTIC] tag in its raws will still be tameable.
Post by: wierd on April 08, 2012, 12:44:37 pm
My giant lions use ordinary lions as the base creature, which DO have PET_EXOTIC and TRAINABLE. The giant creature modifier by default kills that. I had to remove the offending tag removal entries.
I suppose for giant creatures not created using the modifier, the situation would be different... but I found this silly.
Post by: Talvieno on April 08, 2012, 01:10:17 pm
That'll work. :D Thanks, KodKod, you're awesome.Nice solution... This is done how? Do they explode in a cloud of vapor like stones modded to melt and boil away instantaneously?
Ninja'd repeatedly. Kodkod, haven't seen any scorpions yet. The elves might have some, but I don't know if you want tainted scorpions... (actually, given what we're going through atm you might make an exception.)
The best way is to edit the HOMEOTHERM tag to be more along the lines of 40000, which will cause them all to set on fire and burneverythingto death the moment they enter the map. It wont work on anything that is already ON the map though, only new things that head your way.
As for the scorpions, get what you can even if it is from the elves. No doubt they will be so grateful to the elves for keeping them captive that they'll choose to generously share their deadly neurotoxins with them.
Okay, if nobody wants to meet Holistic Spawn, Manamaids, or Scythods, I'm going to blow them all up with thermonuclear weapons and leave them out of the story. The main reason being that I don't want anyone criticizing the story for being untrue to DF. :P
Post by: WillowLuman on April 08, 2012, 01:13:12 pm
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 01:15:23 pm
On-topic:
KodKod, can I come out of the scorpion pit yet?
Post by: DoctorMonch on April 08, 2012, 01:19:03 pm
By the end of the week, enough SCIENCE would have been performed that we'd know exactly how much pain will be cause upon stubbing the toe in specific ways, and will have found both the most and least painful way to stub one's toe.
Also, there would be a LOT of stubbed toes.
Post by: Amallar on April 08, 2012, 01:21:37 pm
Post by: Mapleguy555 on April 08, 2012, 01:22:25 pm
How would our community be defended? I'm in favor of trap spamming and a superweapon to use against sieges. We wouldn't want to send anyone out to fight unless they volunteered for it, right?
Super late post: Spartan rushers.
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 01:33:25 pm
I vote we send out negotiators to have them stop the-OHGODIMNOTAELFDONTTHROWMEINTHEMAGMAHow would our community be defended? I'm in favor of trap spamming and a superweapon to use against sieges. We wouldn't want to send anyone out to fight unless they volunteered for it, right?
Super late post: Spartan rushers.
Post by: wierd on April 08, 2012, 01:34:36 pm
Here, Just stand RIGHT THERE on that bridge!
Post by: Talvieno on April 08, 2012, 01:42:11 pm
Well, if you must. I still get my crafting workshop, right?Yes, of course. And if you get a mood, I'll be downloading runesmith to make you lose it and be eligible for another one, as per your request. :P
Ninja'd:
TALVEINO, where did you get the SOH, I been looking for a week.Spearbreakers (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=102730.msg3036724#msg3036724) is set in the Boatmurdered/Headshoots/Syrupleaf universe (and yes, we found ways to overcome the problem of the trigger-happy narrator). As a result, we're under attack from the Spawn of Holistic, with a couple twists that allow us to make use of Toady's new interactions. Mr Frog redesigned them to work well with the current version (he's pretty good), and Splint and I tested them before we started the succession game. Thus, I have access. I think Splint is planning on releasing them to the public after Spearbreakers falls, but I could ask if I could get you a copy early, if you'd like. No guarantees, though. :P
Ninja'd five times.
Someone would end up stubbing their toe and complaining that it hurt.Have no fear, Doctor, toes have been stepped on quite frequently.
By the end of the week, enough SCIENCE would have been performed that we'd know exactly how much pain will be cause upon stubbing the toe in specific ways, and will have found both the most and least painful way to stub one's toe.
Also, there would be a LOT of stubbed toes.
I hope we started in a subtropical (preferably island) setting. I can't stand camping in the cold. I've also spent most of my life either living on islands or mountains, and I'd feel uncomfortable without access to beaches.Subtropical? We did. Sorry about the lack of beaches, though. I suppose by strategically assigning animals to pastures, we could create an artificial beach by the stream, though - we have plenty of sand (we could also just make unpaved roads). But we have mountains - a nice, tall one, too.
Are you volunteering? 'Cause that's totally an option now, if that's how you want to go out.How would our community be defended? I'm in favor of trap spamming and a superweapon to use against sieges. We wouldn't want to send anyone out to fight unless they volunteered for it, right?
Super late post: Spartan rushers.
Honestly, to prevent casualties as much as possible, I'm all for turtling whenever enemies come and sending out the migrants. When everybody is friends with everybody (besides a few scattered grudges), tantrum spirals are dangerous things.
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 01:43:32 pm
Negotiator eh, little vermin?
Here, Just stand RIGHT THERE on that bridge!
OKAY.
/koboldstupidity
Post by: wierd on April 08, 2012, 01:45:16 pm
Negotiator eh, little vermin?
Here, Just stand RIGHT THERE on that bridge!
OKAY.
/koboldstupidity
Tell the Goblins "Hi!" for us!
*pulls lever*
(Bridge raises violently!)
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 01:47:38 pm
Negotiator eh, little vermin?
Here, Just stand RIGHT THERE on that bridge!
OKAY.
/koboldstupidity
Tell the Goblins "Hi!" for us!
*pulls lever*
(Bridge raises violently!)
The Kobold Idiot crashes into a obstacle!
The skull is fractured!
The hip is fractured!
The spleen is ruptured!
The right lung is torn!
The right leg bone is bruised!
"HI"
The goblin spearmaster bashes the Kobold in the upper body, bruising the left lung, shattering the middle spine!
Post by: KodKod on April 08, 2012, 01:56:07 pm
Thanks, KodKod, you're awesome.
I know, I'm the best thing to ever happen.
KodKod, can I come out of the scorpion pit yet?
If you are in any position to ask whether or not you can come out of the scorpion pit then you were never in the scorpion pit to begin with.
/deep.
Post by: HmH on April 08, 2012, 01:57:17 pm
I respectfully disagree, as I favor crossbow guerillas more. Manufacturing a crossbow and a stack of bolts(three logs, one chunk of metal ore) is cheaper than manufacturing a spear and a shield(four logs, two chunks of metal ore) for a spartan rusher, with crossbows being easier to learn and deadlier in the hands of an average basement-dweller than a spear.How would our community be defended? I'm in favor of trap spamming and a superweapon to use against sieges. We wouldn't want to send anyone out to fight unless they volunteered for it, right?
Super late post: Spartan rushers.
Arming every civilian with a crossbow and metal bolts should be our fort's very first step to a combat-worthy militia. Only when everyone in the fort has an easy-to-use, lethal weapon, we can start utilizing danger rooms and train spartan rushers.
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 01:58:17 pm
Thanks, KodKod, you're awesome.
I know, I'm the best thing to ever happen.KodKod, can I come out of the scorpion pit yet?
If you are in any position to ask whether or not you can come out of the scorpion pit then you were never in the scorpion pit to begin with.
/deep.
I read that four times until I understood.
Post by: Oliolli on April 08, 2012, 02:20:18 pm
crossbow guerillas
I have no idea why, but I like that idea...
Post by: Eric Blank on April 08, 2012, 02:42:26 pm
Perhaps they need small ballistae to fire...
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 08, 2012, 02:45:27 pm
I hope we started in a subtropical (preferably island) setting. I can't stand camping in the cold. I've also spent most of my life either living on islands or mountains, and I'd feel uncomfortable without access to beaches.
Oh snap.
This could be the undoing of the fortress - the fort climate.
I bloody love the cold, hot and humid climates get to me.
Post by: Talvieno on April 08, 2012, 02:48:02 pm
Spoiler: Actual Spoiler. (click to show/hide)
I'm the exact same way. Fortunately, we're in a very pleasant cross between tropical and temperate, without that much moisture in the air. Your forecast for the next week would be something like brightly sunny skies with cool breezes from the west - if we had advanced weather equipment. I can guarantee at least one of us knows how to throw some homemade instruments together, though.I hope we started in a subtropical (preferably island) setting. I can't stand camping in the cold. I've also spent most of my life either living on islands or mountains, and I'd feel uncomfortable without access to beaches.I bloody love the cold, hot and humid climates get to me.
Post by: wierd on April 08, 2012, 02:49:35 pm
*Knows how to build rudimentary airconditioning and refrigeration*
That said... underground is always 52F. Nice and cool.
Post by: KodKod on April 08, 2012, 02:50:19 pm
I bloody love the cold, hot and humid climates get to me.
Personally I rather like nice cold rain. It's bloomin' fantastic.
Post by: wierd on April 08, 2012, 02:52:08 pm
Freezing drizzle is NEVER fun. Especially when it freezes to your coat, turning you into a Popsicle on the way to your vehicle.
Post by: KodKod on April 08, 2012, 02:53:29 pm
You can come visit Kansas during the winter.
Freezing drizzle is NEVER fun. Especially when it freezes to your coat, turning you into a Popsicle on the way to your vehicle.
I'm fine, thanks. I live in the merry old land of perpetual rain and I like it that way.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 08, 2012, 02:55:25 pm
You can come visit Kansas during the winter.
Freezing drizzle is NEVER fun. Especially when it freezes to your coat, turning you into a Popsicle on the way to your vehicle.
I'm fine, thanks. I live in the merry old land of perpetual rain and I like it that way.
Islands man, lovin' the rain.
Post by: KodKod on April 08, 2012, 02:56:21 pm
Islands man, lovin' the rain.
The Jet Stream is a fickle mistress, but fair.
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 02:57:35 pm
Post by: wierd on April 08, 2012, 03:02:51 pm
Hot, but dry. At night, it gets good and cool.
Nothing worse than a hot balmy night. Blach.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 08, 2012, 03:05:07 pm
Crossbow gorillas with mini-ballistas? I'm thinking Detritus...
Post by: Eric Blank on April 08, 2012, 03:07:02 pm
I miss my forested mountains... :(
One should hope for a relatively mild temperate climate, near mountains and with abundant vegetation. I like light rain, but not flash-melting snowpack.
Post by: HmH on April 08, 2012, 03:08:23 pm
Not that ballista-wielding gorillas are worse, they're just harder to obtain.
How did an animal trainer like saltmummy626 manage to marry the Chief Scientist herself? I smell foul play here. That, or Girlinhat found herself in dire need of test subjects for the Child Care Program.Spoiler: Actual Spoiler. (click to show/hide)
Post by: Eric Blank on April 08, 2012, 03:11:03 pm
Post by: wierd on April 08, 2012, 03:18:06 pm
Thats the one where Jane Goodall spends time in a terrorist training camp, right?
Post by: Fen on April 08, 2012, 03:19:02 pm
That's probably something else that will be highly amusing over time. Watching to see who gets married to who, what artifacts someone makes when they mood.
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 03:21:02 pm
NOONE MAKE GNOMEBLIGHT. I DONT WANT TO BE POISONED.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 08, 2012, 03:23:32 pm
Post by: wierd on April 08, 2012, 03:23:41 pm
Here vermin, vermin, vermin!
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 03:40:51 pm
(using metal tongs, holds up *<*Pigtail Trousers*>* [coating forgotten beast ichor])
Here vermin, vermin, vermin!
TROUSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS
Post by: Gizogin on April 08, 2012, 04:02:06 pm
(using metal tongs, holds up *<*Pigtail Trousers*>* [coating forgotten beast ichor])
Here vermin, vermin, vermin!
TROUSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS
FORGOTTEN BEAST ICHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR
FOR EXPERIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENTS
IN MEDICIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 04:04:43 pm
(using metal tongs, holds up *<*Pigtail Trousers*>* [coating forgotten beast ichor])
Here vermin, vermin, vermin!
TROUSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS
FORGOTTEN BEAST ICHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR
FOR EXPERIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENTS
IN MEDICIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE
...
The spinning large copper dagger strikes Gizogin in the head, tearing the fat, tearing the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain, tearing the brain! Gizogin has been struck down!
Post by: Forumite on April 08, 2012, 04:25:37 pm
Post by: Talvieno on April 08, 2012, 04:31:48 pm
Lol, awesome. I think that's what I'll go with.How did an animal trainer like saltmummy626 manage to marry the Chief Scientist herself? I smell foul play here. That, or Girlinhat found herself in dire need of test subjects for the Child Care Program.Spoiler: Actual Spoiler. (click to show/hide)
Did I die? Nooooo!Yeah. :( I tried to prevent it, but I honestly didn't expect the giant keas to be aggressive. For the most part, they weren't - but there were a couple of exceptions... If you want, I suppose I could "redwarf" you - give you a second chance. I don't know, we could call it the same you but from a different parallel universe... The whole "poofing into dwarfworld" sounds a bit sci-fi anyway. :P
I'm going to start writing part 2 in a bit.
Post by: Gizogin on April 08, 2012, 04:32:08 pm
(using metal tongs, holds up *<*Pigtail Trousers*>* [coating forgotten beast ichor])
Here vermin, vermin, vermin!
TROUSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS
FORGOTTEN BEAST ICHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR
FOR EXPERIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENTS
IN MEDICIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE
...
The spinning large copper dagger strikes Gizogin in the head, tearing the fat, tearing the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain, tearing the brain! Gizogin has been struck down!
Bwahaha! Fool! By striking me down, you have made me more powerful than you could possibly imagine!
Besides, I've messed around with my own physiology so much that even I don't know where my brain is anymore.
Post by: Fen on April 08, 2012, 04:34:34 pm
Did I die? Nooooo!
Forumite has been miserable lately. He dined in a legendary dining room recently. He complained about the rain recently. He was attacked recently. He has seen his own death. He was forced to watch the rotting away of Forumite. He admired a fine statue recently.
-Bronze Statue-
This is a bronze statue of dwarves and giant keas. The giant keas are striking down the dwarves. The dwarves are striking down the giant keas. This relates to the death of Forumite in 158.
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 04:36:55 pm
(using metal tongs, holds up *<*Pigtail Trousers*>* [coating forgotten beast ichor])
Here vermin, vermin, vermin!
TROUSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS
FORGOTTEN BEAST ICHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR
FOR EXPERIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENTS
IN MEDICIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE
...
The spinning large copper dagger strikes Gizogin in the head, tearing the fat, tearing the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain, tearing the brain! Gizogin has been struck down!
Bwahaha! Fool! By striking me down, you have made me more powerful than you could possibly imagine!
Besides, I've messed around with my own physiology so much that even I don't know where my brain is anymore.
...
Kobold Citizen CoraiUnki cancels fight, terrified beyond kobold belief
Kobold citizen CoraiUnki cancels terrified beyond kobold belief, running around in circles
Post by: Splint on April 08, 2012, 04:45:21 pm
Nah, i'm just kiddin' Talvieno, you sir have a way with words, though I felt left out.
Post by: Forumite on April 08, 2012, 04:46:37 pm
The ghost of Forumite shed a single dwarfy tear, in memory of himself, when alive...Did I die? Nooooo!
Forumite has been miserable lately. He dined in a legendary dining room recently. He complained about the rain recently. He was attacked recently. He has seen his own death. He was forced to watch the rotting away of Forumite. He admired a fine statue recently.
-Bronze Statue-
This is a bronze statue of dwarves and giant keas. The giant keas are striking down the dwarves. The dwarves are striking down the giant keas. This relates to the death of Forumite in 158.
Did I kill anything? Who inherited my *Giant Cave Spider Left Sock*?
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 04:47:17 pm
I sleep for three measly hours and suddenly you jerks come up with 4 more pages I'm too lazy to look through. You guys suck.
Nah, i'm just kiddin' Talvieno, you sir have a way with words, though I felt left out.
I. Love. Spearbreakers.
TOO MANY MUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Forumite on April 08, 2012, 04:50:01 pm
Killed by a giant bird? What a dwarfy way to die 8)Did I die? Nooooo!Yeah. :( I tried to prevent it, but I honestly didn't expect the giant keas to be aggressive. For the most part, they weren't - but there were a couple of exceptions... If you want, I suppose I could "redwarf" you - give you a second chance. I don't know, we could call it the same you but from a different parallel universe... The whole "poofing into dwarfworld" sounds a bit sci-fi anyway. :P
I'm going to start writing part 2 in a bit.
Post by: Fen on April 08, 2012, 04:58:38 pm
Killed by a giant bird? What a dwarfy way to die 8)Did I die? Nooooo!Yeah. :( I tried to prevent it, but I honestly didn't expect the giant keas to be aggressive. For the most part, they weren't - but there were a couple of exceptions... If you want, I suppose I could "redwarf" you - give you a second chance. I don't know, we could call it the same you but from a different parallel universe... The whole "poofing into dwarfworld" sounds a bit sci-fi anyway. :P
I'm going to start writing part 2 in a bit.
I forget how big the "giant" prefix makes things (I know it multiplies their normal size by something, but not how much) so a giant bird, even a small one, would be utterly massive. Actually, I even decided to look up what a kea looks like, and these things are damn scary:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/34/Nestor_notabilis_-Fiordland%2C_New_Zealand-8b.jpg
"Now uncommon, the Kea was once killed for bounty due to concerns by the sheep farming community that it attacked livestock, especially sheep."
Definitely a dwarfy way to go.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 08, 2012, 05:08:47 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 08, 2012, 05:11:13 pm
Someone on the adventure mode forum remarked about giant sperm whales being something around 1000x larger then an adult dragon or something....
Dragon Adult Body Size (only after 1000 years): 25,000,000
Sperm Whale Adult Body Size (after 10 years): 25,000,000
Giant Sperm Whale Adult Body Size (after 10 years): 200,000,000
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 05:13:23 pm
Someone on the adventure mode forum remarked about giant sperm whales being something around 1000x larger then an adult dragon or something....
Dragon Adult Body Size (only after 1000 years): 25,000,000
Sperm Whale Adult Body Size (after 10 years): 25,000,000
Giant Sperm Whale Adult Body Size (after 10 years): 200,000,000
Im gonna get a Necro-pire and go kill a GSWA
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 08, 2012, 05:14:47 pm
Post by: wierd on April 08, 2012, 05:15:36 pm
Sky whales! It needs a deadly "Gust" attack, that blows dust FB style for maximum carnage!
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 05:16:48 pm
Land?
Sky whales! It needs a deadly "Gust" attack, that blows dust FB style for maximum carnage!
Kobold Citizen cancels steal, running from Sky Whale
Post by: KodKod on April 08, 2012, 05:17:27 pm
Time to mod in land whales!
Why bother modding in land whales when you could simply embark on an evil ocean and watch helplessly as they crawl onto land and turn anything they touch into thick red paste.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 08, 2012, 05:18:30 pm
THIS IS BRILLIANT
Time to mod in land whales!
Why bother modding in land whales when you could simply embark on an evil ocean and watch helplessly as they crawl onto land and turn anything they touch into thick red paste.
Zombies stop growing. We need the MAXIMUM DEATH attainable.
Post by: Splint on April 08, 2012, 05:19:23 pm
I. Love. Spearbreakers.
TOO MANY MUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you, thank you very much. You make us unfortunate mug using dorfs feel appreciated.
Speaking of which, this fort could use more mugs....
Post by: KodKod on April 08, 2012, 05:22:14 pm
Immortal Sky-Whales, lords of the lands...
THIS IS BRILLIANT
A single giant sperm whale can feed a hundred-strong fortress for decades. Can you imagine, for a moment, clipping the wings of one of those things and watching the resultant carnage as it splats on the ground?
Not a pretty sight.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 08, 2012, 05:37:22 pm
Immortal Sky-Whales, lords of the lands...
THIS IS BRILLIANT
A single giant sperm whale can feed a hundred-strong fortress for decades. Can you imagine, for a moment, clipping the wings of one of those things and watching the resultant carnage as it splats on the ground?
Not a pretty sight.
And the bowl of petunias simply thought "oh no, not again."
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 08, 2012, 06:09:03 pm
A single giant sperm whale can feed a hundred-strong fortress for decades. Can you imagine, for a moment, clipping the wings of one of those things and watching the resultant carnage as it splats on the ground?
Not a pretty sight.
Now can you imagine, just what would happen if I made them intelligent, and gave them their own civ. Allowed them to make steel armour and steel weapons fit for Titans and allowed them to arrive riding on EVEN BIGGER SKY WHALES. THAT BREATHED FIRE, AND EXCRETED NEUROTOXIN VAPOURS!!!
And who said we would need to give the whales wings? These are sky whales, they have an innate ability to levitate, for they have transcended the need for such avian constructs.
The resulting battles of the heavens against the Dwarves of the Earth, would be... Beautiful.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 08, 2012, 06:11:27 pm
A single giant sperm whale can feed a hundred-strong fortress for decades. Can you imagine, for a moment, clipping the wings of one of those things and watching the resultant carnage as it splats on the ground?
Not a pretty sight.
Now can you imagine, just what would happen if I made them intelligent, and gave them their own civ. Allowed them to make steel armour and steel weapons fit for Titans and allowed them to arrive riding on EVEN BIGGER SKY WHALES. THAT BREATHED FIRE, AND EXCRETED NEUROTOXIN VAPOURS!!!
And who said we would need to give the whales wings? These are sky whales, they have an innate ability to levitate, for they have transcended the need for such avian constructs.
The resulting battles of the heavens against the Dwarves of the Earth, would be... Beautiful.
Well, they would be brief anyway. Dwarves would just uncan the clowns.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 08, 2012, 06:13:56 pm
A single giant sperm whale can feed a hundred-strong fortress for decades. Can you imagine, for a moment, clipping the wings of one of those things and watching the resultant carnage as it splats on the ground?
Not a pretty sight.
Now can you imagine, just what would happen if I made them intelligent, and gave them their own civ. Allowed them to make steel armour and steel weapons fit for Titans and allowed them to arrive riding on EVEN BIGGER SKY WHALES. THAT BREATHED FIRE, AND EXCRETED NEUROTOXIN VAPOURS!!!
And who said we would need to give the whales wings? These are sky whales, they have an innate ability to levitate, for they have transcended the need for such avian constructs.
The resulting battles of the heavens against the Dwarves of the Earth, would be... Beautiful.
Well, they would be brief anyway. Dwarves would just uncan the clowns.
And suddenly it becomes a fight between heaven's Sky Whales and the Dwarves's HFS clowns.
The logical conclusion.
Post by: KodKod on April 08, 2012, 06:15:01 pm
Well, they would be brief anyway. Dwarves would just uncan the clowns.
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee.
Post by: Karakzon on April 08, 2012, 06:28:57 pm
Post by: Splint on April 08, 2012, 06:29:51 pm
so the dwarves would just sit inside watching it all unfold making bets on wholl win.
10 mugs says the sky whales.
Post by: KodKod on April 08, 2012, 06:32:10 pm
10 mugs says the sky whales.
Natch, whales are immortal, godless killing machines. That's the moral of Moby-Dick.
Post by: Splint on April 08, 2012, 06:33:04 pm
10 mugs says the sky whales.
Natch, whales are immortal, godless killing machines. That's the moral of Moby-Dick.
In that case? make it 20 mugs. Gem encrusted.
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 06:41:59 pm
10 mugs says the sky whales.
Natch, whales are immortal, godless killing machines. That's the moral of Moby-Dick.
In that case? make it 20 mugs. Gem encrusted.
I bet a sack of clay.
What? Thats 5,000 mugs in my camp.....
Post by: Fen on April 08, 2012, 06:43:49 pm
Someone on the adventure mode forum remarked about giant sperm whales being something around 1000x larger then an adult dragon or something....
Dragon Adult Body Size (only after 1000 years): 25,000,000
Sperm Whale Adult Body Size (after 10 years): 25,000,000
Giant Sperm Whale Adult Body Size (after 10 years): 200,000,000
Going off of this, the "Giant" bit makes things roughly 8 times their normal size? That explains why Giant Keas are so deadly. Regular, real world keas can do this: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/34/Sheep_killed_by_kea_%28cropped%29.jpg to regular sheep. a flock of x8 sized keas would be...
damn, they could kill titans.
Post by: Splint on April 08, 2012, 06:48:58 pm
10 mugs says the sky whales.
Natch, whales are immortal, godless killing machines. That's the moral of Moby-Dick.
In that case? make it 20 mugs. Gem encrusted.
I bet a sack of clay.
What? Thats 5,000 mugs in my camp.....
I'll see your sack of clay with 50 masterwork steel pikes.
I like my pikes...
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 06:49:58 pm
10 mugs says the sky whales.
Natch, whales are immortal, godless killing machines. That's the moral of Moby-Dick.
In that case? make it 20 mugs. Gem encrusted.
I bet a sack of clay.
What? Thats 5,000 mugs in my camp.....
I'll see your sack of clay with 50 masterwork steel pikes.
I like my pikes...
Ill raise your 50 masterwork steel pikes with a piece of copper!
Again, 100,000 mugs where I come from....
Post by: Splint on April 08, 2012, 06:57:23 pm
Maybe I should ask Spearbreakers before I gamble away all our pikes.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 08, 2012, 06:59:06 pm
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 07:06:06 pm
I dunno man, 50 masterwork steel pikes are pretty damn valuable....
Maybe I should ask Spearbreakers before I gamble away all our pikes.
ALL ACCORDING TOG GRUBIBISIGN!
A Masterwork steel pike has been stolen! x50
And thus continues the Kobold conquest of the world!
Post by: Splint on April 08, 2012, 07:07:15 pm
I dunno man, 50 masterwork steel pikes are pretty damn valuable....
Maybe I should ask Spearbreakers before I gamble away all our pikes.
ALL ACCORDING TOG GRUBIBISIGN!
A Masterwork steel pike has been stolen! x50
And thus continues the Kobold conquest of the world!
To bad you're too small to use them! I mean you little koblod twerps can't even onehand a dagger!
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 07:08:19 pm
I dunno man, 50 masterwork steel pikes are pretty damn valuable....
Maybe I should ask Spearbreakers before I gamble away all our pikes.
ALL ACCORDING TOG GRUBIBISIGN!
A Masterwork steel pike has been stolen! x50
And thus continues the Kobold conquest of the world!
To bad you're too small to use them! I mean you little koblod twerps can't even onehand a dagger!
...We can use them in our tiny ballistas!
*Crossbows are lined up*
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEH
Post by: Talvieno on April 08, 2012, 07:12:24 pm
If you were The Twelfth Bay's hammerer... Would you be able to bring yourself to give your best friend fifty strokes for something they'd done?
With a steel warhammer?
Post by: WillowLuman on April 08, 2012, 07:13:13 pm
Random question to all.
If you were The Twelfth Bay's hammerer... Would you be able to bring yourself to give your best friend fifty strokes for something they'd done?
No
Post by: Splint on April 08, 2012, 07:13:46 pm
Random question to all.
If you were The Twelfth Bay's hammerer... Would you be able to bring yourself to give your best friend fifty strokes for something they'd done?
Depends on the offense. Murder/being a vamp, I stove thier head in like no-ones business. something like tearing a chunk out of a gold plated road I'd just dump him in jail/let him go if no-one cared.
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 07:14:30 pm
Random question to all.
If you were The Twelfth Bay's hammerer... Would you be able to bring yourself to give your best friend fifty strokes for something they'd done?
With a steel warhammer?
Yes, just smash his pinky until its mush.
Post by: KodKod on April 08, 2012, 07:17:29 pm
Random question to all.
If you were The Twelfth Bay's hammerer... Would you be able to bring yourself to give your best friend fifty strokes for something they'd done?
With a steel warhammer?
Them, and everyone else who may or may not have ever wronged me.
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 07:19:14 pm
Random question to all.
If you were The Twelfth Bay's hammerer... Would you be able to bring yourself to give your best friend fifty strokes for something they'd done?
With a steel warhammer?
Them, and everyone else who may or may not have ever wronged me.
The spinning large copper dagger strikes KodKod in the head, but it glances off!
...IT DIDNT WORK! RUN!
*Dozens of kobolds are seen running from assorted piles of weapons*
Post by: Fen on April 08, 2012, 07:20:10 pm
Random question to all.
If you were The Twelfth Bay's hammerer... Would you be able to bring yourself to give your best friend fifty strokes for something they'd done?
With a steel warhammer?
...Yes. I would refrain from killing them, however. At worst, I would smash one of their knees 50 times. They'd never be able to walk properly again, short of becoming a legendary crutch-walker. It would be a hard, brutal job, and I would hate it very much, but if someone simply does not understand that we can't be committing crimes upon each-other, they must be punished, in a way they will not be forgetting.
Post by: Koremu on April 08, 2012, 07:31:53 pm
I know, real life, how to work metal.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 08, 2012, 07:55:51 pm
I know, real life, how to work metal.
*Oliolli looses a roaring laughter, fell and terrible!*
*Koremu has been struck down*
Post by: Chagen46 on April 08, 2012, 08:01:42 pm
Firstly, massive booze production.
Secondly... we're not actually sure. Once we're all hammered then nature will take its course.
Mind if I sig this?
Post by: Talvieno on April 08, 2012, 08:02:31 pm
I asked because this happened during the next six months (what I'm writing up at the moment), and for some reason, our hammerer couldn't bring himself to punish the offender. Few people got any negative thoughts from the offender not being punished, either. The offender was immediately stricken by melancholy... which led to more things going wrong...
I'd be fairly safe.Trust me, Koremu... in The Twelfth Bay, it takes a lot more than that to keep you safe. But I'd still enthusiastically recruit you for the forges. :P
I know, real life, how to work metal.
Post by: KodKod on April 08, 2012, 08:04:54 pm
...standing there and hitting he who was my best friend repeatedly with the hammer, as he yelled in pain and begged for mercy. As the hammer broke his bones...
This just makes me more enthusiastic.
Post by: Talvieno on April 08, 2012, 08:08:12 pm
Forgive me, but I'm terrified at the thought of what you might do to someone who wasn't your best friend. :P lol...standing there and hitting he who was my best friend repeatedly with the hammer, as he yelled in pain and begged for mercy. As the hammer broke his bones...
This just makes me more enthusiastic.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 08, 2012, 08:08:42 pm
...standing there and hitting he who was my best friend repeatedly with the hammer, as he yelled in pain and begged for mercy. As the hammer broke his bones...
This just makes me more enthusiastic.
"You better not piss me off Evan, or those'll be your kneecaps."
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 08:09:06 pm
Forgive me, but I'm terrified at the thought of what you might do to someone who wasn't your best friend. :P lol...standing there and hitting he who was my best friend repeatedly with the hammer, as he yelled in pain and begged for mercy. As the hammer broke his bones...
This just makes me more enthusiastic.
Or if it was a kobold she hated.
Oh god, save me now.
Post by: KodKod on April 08, 2012, 08:10:39 pm
Forgive me, but I'm terrified at the thought of what you might do to someone who wasn't your best friend. :P lol
Hoho, the stories I could tell. But it wouldn't be in my best interest.
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 08:11:47 pm
Forgive me, but I'm terrified at the thought of what you might do to someone who wasn't your best friend. :P lol
Hoho, the stories I could tell. But it wouldn't be in my best interest.
A swarm of kobolds come to KodKod, all begging for a story
Post by: Splint on April 08, 2012, 08:12:11 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 08, 2012, 08:12:24 pm
Post by: Splint on April 08, 2012, 08:13:13 pm
Wait, Corai's a Kobold?
Appearently so. And the little bastard's tribe stole my pikes D:<
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 08:14:49 pm
Wait, Corai's a Kobold?
Appearently so. And the little bastard's tribe stole my pikes D:<
In the distance, kobolds on fire are all running around, trying to fire there "ballistas" at The Twelfth Bay, but there simply exploding in there faces
Post by: Talvieno on April 08, 2012, 08:18:51 pm
So wait, is Talvieno playing a fort based on this?Click the link in my sig. I need to get Spearbreakers in my sig, too.
Wait, Corai's a Kobold?Yep. Corai is a kobold. What fun, eh? :D
Post by: Splint on April 08, 2012, 08:20:51 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 08, 2012, 08:22:26 pm
A swarm of kobolds come to KodKod, all begging for a story
As proud as I am of my accomplishments in life I simply cannot.
Instead here's a different story:
Once upon a time I hit a kobold with a clock! The end.
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 08:24:06 pm
A swarm of kobolds come to KodKod, all begging for a story
As proud as I am of my accomplishments in life I simply cannot.
Instead here's a different story:
Once upon a time I hit a kobold with a clock! The end.
The kobolds are confused as to what a clock is, the youngest pup asks where his mom and dad went after they visited here
Post by: KodKod on April 08, 2012, 08:46:09 pm
The kobolds are confused as to what a clock is, the youngest pup asks where his mom and dad went after they visited here
Say kids, do you like scorpions?
Post by: Corai on April 08, 2012, 08:47:56 pm
The kobolds are confused as to what a clock is, the youngest pup asks where his mom and dad went after they visited here
Say kids, do you like scorpions?
They run around in circles, yelling "Scorpions!" in a happy tone
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 08, 2012, 08:48:22 pm
I Broseph Stalin am a carver of bones into things that are made out of bones. I also carve things that are bones into things that decorate things that aren't made out of bones, or even carve things that are bones into decorations for things that I made out of a different kind of bones. Or I can carve things that are bones into decorations for things that someone else made out of a different kind of bones but then I start biting people because someone is carving bones into things that are made out of bones and they aren't me. I hope to one day hone my craft to the point where I become a carver of bones into things that aren't made out of bones.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 08, 2012, 09:57:04 pm
Post by: Ultimuh on April 08, 2012, 10:14:03 pm
*The noise is going in the oposite direction of the fortress.*
*The noise is slowly disapearing in the distance.*
Post by: Talvieno on April 08, 2012, 10:15:07 pm
Oh what the hell,
I Broseph Stalin am a carver of bones into things that are made out of bones. I also carve things that are bones into things that decorate things that aren't made out of bones, or even carve things that are bones into decorations for things that I made out of a different kind of bones. Or I can carve things that are bones into decorations for things that someone else made out of a different kind of bones but then I start biting people because someone is carving bones into things that are made out of bones and they aren't me. I hope to one day hone my craft to the point where I become a carver of bones into things that aren't made out of bones.
Welcome to the fortress! If I remember right, you're our first bonecrafter.
Post by: Talvieno on April 08, 2012, 10:15:54 pm
For continuancy's sake: the game crashed, and when I ran it through the second time, King DZA didn't go berserk, Gizogin's wound wasn't as severe, and nobody in the military lost extremeties. Everything else is the same.
edit: I've played through more than this - I just want to get something up before I keep writing. I honestly don't feel this is quite as good as the first, though.
Leaning back from the wall, you give it a gentle pat as you feel the emotions of those who once walked with these halls, embedded in the text so skillfully engraved. You look to your left, lifting your lantern higher and beckoning to your little group to follow as you step forwards, downwards into the darkness, wondering if possibly more of this journal exists farther down this dark corridor. After a short walk, you find another entry. Though slightly stained with blood from ages past, it's perfectly legible, and etched in the same swirling, graceful script as before. Brushing away some cobwebs with the back of your hand, you begin to read this new find.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Part 3 >> (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=106539.msg3180072#msg3180072)
Post by: WillowLuman on April 08, 2012, 10:28:36 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 08, 2012, 10:29:25 pm
But so help me Armok if anything I disapprove of happens to KodKod I will find where you live and kill your loved ones.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 08, 2012, 10:30:36 pm
But my hand's broken?
Ah crap.
Someone get me two mechanisms, a large serrated steel disc and a gauntlet.
Fix this evil dead style.
Post by: Ultimuh on April 08, 2012, 10:32:19 pm
I am finally free!
...
Huh.. That's odd.. I didn't know rain could be purple..
Post by: Splint on April 08, 2012, 10:35:40 pm
Post by: Gizogin on April 08, 2012, 10:38:00 pm
Post by: Splint on April 08, 2012, 10:41:21 pm
Mark my words, I will get those kidneys one way or another.
I vote his two closest friends get them as waterskins, so he'll be with them always.
Post by: wierd on April 08, 2012, 10:42:49 pm
Mark my words, I will get those kidneys one way or another.
I vote his two closest friends get them as waterskins, so he'll be with them always.
Kidney doesnt make good leather. The outer tissue is far to soft. you would have better luck tanning cheek skin, or intestine leather, both are far tougher. You can DIE from bruised kidneys.
Post by: Splint on April 08, 2012, 10:44:32 pm
Mark my words, I will get those kidneys one way or another.
I vote his two closest friends get them as waterskins, so he'll be with them always.
Kidney doesnt make good leather. The outer tissue is far to soft. you would have better luck tanning cheek skin, or intestine leather, both are far tougher. You can DIE from bruised kidneys.
I don't care, i was just thinking they'd hold water good.
Post by: wierd on April 08, 2012, 10:45:53 pm
Kidneys are for pie. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steak_and_kidney_pie)
Post by: Splint on April 08, 2012, 10:47:46 pm
No, that's bladder, or stomach.
Then use'em. UES'EM DAMN IT! IM NOT ABOVE TROPHY TAKING MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Hell every adventurer I've ever played was a skull taker.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 08, 2012, 10:48:00 pm
Also, Good job Talvieno. Good to know we're screwed to the highest degree...
Post by: Ultimuh on April 08, 2012, 10:48:45 pm
No, that's bladder, or stomach.
Interesting fact:
Ancient native Greenlanders used to play some sort of ballgames with seal bladders.
edit: At least something similar to a ball game, was not much about kicking them as running around with them..
My knowledge with this is a little rusty.. So don't take my words for it!
Post by: HmH on April 08, 2012, 11:20:09 pm
I'll assign three of the dwarven migrants to make thirty crossbows and all available smithies - to forge thirty stacks of metal bolts; it seems dwarves are born with innate knowledge of how to do everything that dwarves can do, while humans have to stumble blindly through these crafts. My belief is that it's better to let the dwarves do something if you want it done right the first time.
Whoever are our masons, I'll drag two of them out to the dining room and yell at them until they wall in the doors leading to goblins and fortify every corridor with at least one firing position. We'll need everything we can do to slow them down.
Finally, I'll use the ichor-covered trousers - wherever our vermin-hunters got these - and a bucket to strategically place several pools of ichor-stained water near the critical points of the fort's inner doors. A water mixture would penetrate that armor better than just a stain, and I'm pretty sure that ichor's doing something bad when it hits your skin.
The plan of battle for when the siege commences is this: ten volunteers will be manning the fortified positions in the southern corridors and retreating as the greenskin forces advance... retreating into the dining hall, luring the pink-haired bastards into the primary bulk of our trap.
At the dining hall, another twenty volunteers will use upturned tables as fortifications and fill the greenskins with bolts one by one as they enter the room. Eventually, the goblin forces would sound retreat; I strongly believe that it'll be before our crossbowmen run out of bolts.
Post by: Splint on April 08, 2012, 11:28:41 pm
FOR THE TWELFTH BAY!!!
Post by: Talvieno on April 08, 2012, 11:35:10 pm
Electricity? You don't need batteries, all we need is magnetite and copper (but silver or gold is better). Just make a spool of copper wire and rotate the magnetite inside it! The motion of a magnetic field near a conductor changes the magnetic flux, thereby creating current. We could even go big and hook up the magnetite to a water wheel!Thanks for pointing that out - I hadn't thought of it. And congratulations, I think you may wind up being one of Girlinhat's assistants. ;D
Another excellent post, Mister Talvieno. Keep it up.I fear for my life. Also, thank you. :)
But so help me Armok if anything I disapprove of happens to KodKod I will find where you live and kill your loved ones.
@Splint - thanks, man. :)
Mark my words, I will get those kidneys one way or another.Okay, so... Do you want to be a graverobber?
Also, Good job Talvieno. Good to know we're screwed to the highest degree...Actually, that's the next post. But still, thanks. :)
I will not let this fort die so soon. Neither will I let many more people die, either. Human ingenuity is better than that! Talvieno, I'm dropping my current profession as a siege engineer/philosopher and activate my Universal Mobilization Protocol, code Gorilla, for the fortress.1. Have no fear, HmH, we're not dead yet. I'm not giving up while we're still alive.
I'll assign three of the dwarven migrants to make thirty crossbows and all available smithies - to forge thirty stacks of metal bolts; it seems dwarves are born with innate knowledge of how to do everything that dwarves can do, while humans have to stumble blindly through these crafts. My belief is that it's better to let the dwarves do something if you want it done right the first time.
Whoever are our masons, I'll drag two of them out to the dining room and yell at them until they wall in the doors leading to goblins and fortify every corridor with at least one firing position. We'll need everything we can do to slow them down.
Finally, I'll use the ichor-covered trousers - wherever our vermin-hunters got these - and a bucket to strategically place several pools of ichor-stained water near the critical points of the fort's inner doors. A water mixture would penetrate that armor better than just a stain, and I'm pretty sure that ichor's doing something bad when it hits your skin.
The plan of battle for when the siege commences is this: ten volunteers will be manning the fortified positions in the southern corridors and retreating as the greenskin forces advance... retreating into the dining hall, luring the pink-haired bastards into the primary bulk of our trap.
At the dining hall, another twenty volunteers will use upturned tables as fortifications and fill the greenskins with bolts one by one as they enter the room. Eventually, the goblin forces would sound retreat; I strongly believe that it'll be before our crossbowmen run out of bolts.
2. One of the rules in this fortress is that aside from new forum players coming in, and the forum players initially, I'm not allowed to change skillsets (unless someone adds something else they can do in RL). I don't know about dwarves, though... it feels like cheating - it'd make everything a lot easier. I would've taken migrants out if I'd thought of it, but it's too late now. Oh, and we don't have any bowyers as it stands. Not one.
3. Sounds like you want an army position. Militia commander sound good to you? Oh, and by the way - this is only half of what I've gotten done. Autumn was incredibly eventful.
4. Do you really want us to breach the cavern for the possible (uncommon) chance that we'll find a forgotten beast with deadly ichor? Remember - no one can die. That's the goal. Nobody dies. Not one. I'm failing so far with four casualties. :P that's pretty good considering we started with almost no food. I was sorely tempted to cheat and mod in NO_EAT and NO_DRINK, but we managed without it... barely.
We'll do our duty with a fire in our bellies and prayer to Armok on our lips. And if we do run out of bolts, I'm sure we can give them a through beating with the bows if they don't retreat.We're already out of bolts. :P Yes, I did just say that. Our hunters used up all the bolts and I had yet to find iron.
FOR THE TWELFTH BAY!!!
Post by: Splint on April 08, 2012, 11:37:12 pm
Post by: HmH on April 08, 2012, 11:43:01 pm
2. One of the rules in this fortress is that aside from new forum players coming in, and the forum players initially, I'm not allowed to change skillsets (unless someone adds something else they can do in RL). I don't know about dwarves, though... it feels like cheating - it'd make everything a lot easier. I would've taken migrants out if I'd thought of it, but it's too late now. Oh, and we don't have any bowyers as it stands. Not one.Specialization is for insects. Do we play Insect Fortress? No? Then let's have the migrants carve crossbows for us. That's a matter of life and death!
'Militia commander' is acceptable... for now.
Oh, wait, you're writing from the simulation you're making, not from the thread, right? Then there are no ichor trousers in the fort and so we can strike that point out. I was still thinking you're only using simulation as an inspiration about random events.
Anyway, whatever, we'll make wooden bolts and rely on the off chance that they hit the goblins in unarmored parts of their bodies.
Three other migrant dwarves! Yes, you three, Urist, Katten, Morul! Go build a craftsdwarf's workshop each and make sixty stacks of wooden bolts.
Also, change of plans, since my plan about 'retreating' will not work in-game due to AI limitations: all thirty volunteers will stand guard in the dining room, with the rest of the fort's populace hiding behind them, ready to replace the fallen if need be.
Post by: Splint on April 08, 2012, 11:46:04 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 08, 2012, 11:46:40 pm
I fear for my life. Also, thank you. :)
Good, then all is going swimmingly.
"Since love & fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved."
Post by: Talvieno on April 08, 2012, 11:48:44 pm
I'm using both the thread, the simulation, the rest of the forum and everybody's general personalities for inspiration - where would we get electricity in vanilla DF? :P But ichor-filled trousers would require a FB. Until we breach the caverns and slay a forgotten beast (honestly, even if it didn't have ichor, I might say it did, just to work the trousers in), no deathpants. lol2. One of the rules in this fortress is that aside from new forum players coming in, and the forum players initially, I'm not allowed to change skillsets (unless someone adds something else they can do in RL). I don't know about dwarves, though... it feels like cheating - it'd make everything a lot easier. I would've taken migrants out if I'd thought of it, but it's too late now. Oh, and we don't have any bowyers as it stands. Not one.Specialization is for insects. Do we play Insect Fortress? No? Then let's have the migrants carve crossbows for us. That's a matter of life and death!
'Militia commander' is acceptable... for now.
Oh, wait, you're writing from the simulation you're making, not from the thread, right? Then there are no ichor trousers in the fort and so we can strike that point out. I was still thinking you're only using simulation as an inspiration about random events.
Anyway, whatever, we'll make wooden bolts and rely on the off chance that we hit the goblins in the eye.
Three other migrant dwarves! Yes, you three, Urist, Katten, Morul! Go build a craftsdwarf's workshop each and make sixty stacks of wooden bolts.
We do have a few woodworkers. Wooden bolts aren't that great, but they're better than nothing, I guess... However, in the part after this last was written, we did hit iron, and we do have a nice surplus of iron bolts. :P So they're not really needed. We'll have steel, too, before too long. Oh, and we can make crossbows from iron. Problem solved.
We also have about 12 mechanics. And over half a thousand mechanisms. :D If only we could turn those into weapons.
Post by: Splint on April 08, 2012, 11:51:36 pm
Post by: HmH on April 08, 2012, 11:53:45 pm
Carpenters, carve ten wooden spikes! Mechanics, use these spikes to install ten, one spike each, lever-controlled retractable spear traps in the dining hall access walkway and link them all to one lever in the back of the dining room! Go, go, go!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 09, 2012, 12:02:49 am
I hereby mandate each goblin invader recieve a savage beating either to death or within an inch of thier lives, and they then be handed over to Girlinahat.Girlinhat and Kodkod will have to find a way to settle on who gets what prisoners.
Or you can give them to me. I'll change their ways* through the power of crafts. They can sit in a cage in front of me while I make crafts upon crafts upon crafts at them for hours on end. I may even make some crafts out of them, to speed up the process.
*brainwash
Also, as resident JackOfAllCrafts, I'll make some bolts
Post by: KodKod on April 09, 2012, 12:11:13 am
Girlinhat and Kodkod will have to find a way to settle on who gets what prisoners.
Hmpf. Well as sophisticated, adult women we could easily come to such a decision without resorting to any sort of brutish, uncivilized behaviour.
I could totally take her in a fight, so I get the prisoners.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 09, 2012, 12:13:45 am
Girlinhat and Kodkod will have to find a way to settle on who gets what prisoners.
Hmpf. Well as sophisticated, adult women we could easily come to such a decision without resorting to any sort of brutish, uncivilized behaviour.
I could totally take her in a fight, so I get the prisoners.
And if you are a bit overbooked, I'll gladly take some off your hands. For crafting lessons. Whatever state they're in, it doesn't matter, I could use both more pupils and more materials.
Post by: wierd on April 09, 2012, 12:16:56 am
I fear for my life. Also, thank you. :)
Good, then all is going swimmingly.
"Since love & fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved."
Ahh... Machiavelli!
Personally though, I find that his logic is fundamentally flawed. A ruler CAN be both loved, AND feared at the same time. Take for instance, the late Kim Jong Il. "Fearless Leader" had a genuine cult of personality, in addition to his vicious secret police.
If placed in that rather uncomfortable hotseat, I would be forced to crack down on corruption, including my own. Viciously. For this, I would be all at once, Loved, Hated, and Feared.
(Loved, by the common populace, since I would greatly reform taxation, Greatly reform government spending, Greatly reform military budgets and contracts, copyrights, patents, etc. Hated, because I would be cutting pet projects, Would be enforcing punctuality on contracts, Eliminating pork and earmarks, and stringently investigating members of government with a rectally inserted microscope. Feared, because I would be ruthless, and not-buy-able. No amount of money or comfort is worth compromising my principles. In this respect, I would be an honest tyrant, as amusing as that sounds.)
As duke of the mountain home? I would promise never to make mandates for unsatisfiable constructions. (No crystal glass beds!) Further, I would impose a local law against any noble creating an unsatisfiable mandate, citing that such an act is unconscionable, and innately vindictive in nature. The punishment for issuing a provably unsatisfiable mandate would be for the NOBLE to receive the punishment assigned to the person blamed for the failure to satisfy the mandate. Although repeatedly getting hammered in the face probably wouldn't break dwarven nobles of their bad habits. :D Further, for goods that are clearly the primary export tradestuff, absolutely under no condition is the export of such a product to be forbidden, for any reason. I dont care how much Urist McMayor likes his scepters.
(and unlike other politicians, I would actually make good on those promises. I would DELIGHT in seeing Urist McMayor get hammered for abusing his authority. In all other matters, I would be predominantly hands-Off.)
Post by: WillowLuman on April 09, 2012, 12:20:16 am
Post by: KodKod on April 09, 2012, 12:22:25 am
Ahh... Machiavelli!
Personally though, I find that his logic is fundamentally flawed.
'The Prince' was written specifically to pander to the ruling Medici family and actually conflicted somewhat with his own political viewpoints. Whilst it's still a hotly debated subject, there's a good chance that he wasn't being completely serious with everything he said.
Still makes for some great quoting material though.
Post by: wierd on April 09, 2012, 12:23:35 am
Post by: WillowLuman on April 09, 2012, 12:30:09 am
Post by: Eric Blank on April 09, 2012, 12:34:55 am
Girlinhat and Kodkod will have to find a way to settle on who gets what prisoners.
Hmpf. Well as sophisticated, adult women we could easily come to such a decision without resorting to any sort of brutish, uncivilized behaviour.
I could totally take her in a fight, so I get the prisoners.
Hey hey hey! I demand a (relatively small) cut of prisoners for my chambers!
I claim the good-looking ones.
Post by: KodKod on April 09, 2012, 12:38:03 am
Hey hey hey! I demand a (relatively small) cut of prisoners for my chambers!
I claim the good-looking ones.
You can have the ones who are really beautiful people.
On the inside.
Post by: Splint on April 09, 2012, 12:39:00 am
Post by: WillowLuman on April 09, 2012, 12:40:04 am
Post by: Splint on April 09, 2012, 12:40:39 am
Post by: Eric Blank on April 09, 2012, 12:41:35 am
But I still get a quantum kitten cage right?
As long as they STAY in their cage and don't breed with my cats!
Gizogin; think you can get these damn animals fixed so we can control their breeding?
Post by: wierd on April 09, 2012, 12:44:05 am
A king never rules long from afar.
There is a reason for that. It wouldnt matter if Jesus H. Christ himself came down from the heavens, turned every square inch of land on earth into a lush, fertile paradise, cured every disease, and ensured that every man woman and child had not only enough to eat, but enough to feel totally satisfied in all things.
He would be hated by many, and many would seek to kill him. There are people who make their livelihoods out of human suffering, and such a clearly benevolent and clearly magical benefactor in power would be completely intolerable to them. Such people judge their own worth by the suffering of others, consciously or unconsciously.
(The wealthy man feels content, that his wealth is a self-evident manifestation of his superiority. He lives better, because he is wealthy. He is wealthy, because he is simply better than those less endowed with riches. If suddenly thrust into a world where his riches could not buy him anything, and he no longer lived better than everyone else, he would suffer an existential crisis. Also, The professional warrior/soldier. Without an enemy to fight, he is nothing. A world without conflict is a world where he has no purpose, and no meaning. He would choose to create wars, simply to fight in them, rather than face this. There are many others. The doctor, without sick and injured. The priest, when God is standing RIGHT THERE, and takes all audiences. The philosopher, when the creator of the universe tells all. Many hands would vie for his death.)
The only effective deterrent is to invoke irrational fear in these would-be assassins. To be larger than life, to the point where people are afraid to even whisper, or be seen by others to harbor even a trace of disloyalty. You basically need to get 1984 on their asses.
Post by: Splint on April 09, 2012, 12:44:39 am
Gizogin; think you can get these damn animals fixed so we can control their breeding?
I second the motion, esspecially with the cats.
Post by: Sus on April 09, 2012, 12:49:41 am
Not my *cat tallow roast*s D:
Gizogin; think you can get these damn animals fixed so we can control their breeding?
I second the motion, esspecially with the cats.
'Sus' Dogpulley, Mad Tinkerer cancels Construct mechanisms: throwing tantrum.
Post by: wierd on April 09, 2012, 12:49:55 am
A single female to maintain a viable population against old age is all you need. All other females are eliminated as soon as they pop. Population of male cats is culled as needed.
It does not work the other way around.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 09, 2012, 12:56:40 am
Post by: wierd on April 09, 2012, 12:59:32 am
Or between a uterus and a bladder.....
Oh well, Like Willie Wonka, he'll get it right in the end eventually. Whats a few oompa loompas here and there in the chocolate?
Post by: Eric Blank on April 09, 2012, 01:00:43 am
Post by: WillowLuman on April 09, 2012, 01:01:59 am
I won't ever let my quantum kittens out of their cages. HugoLuman likes kittens for their plotting...
Post by: RAKninja on April 09, 2012, 01:25:32 am
you mean i'm not invincibly overtrained yet?
anyway, all this talk of assassination....
dwarves do not assassinate dwarves.
goblins, on the other hand, habitually murder each other on a whim.
i have discovered the ugly truth..... the twelfth bay is not a mountainhome... it is a dark fortress.
Post by: Fen on April 09, 2012, 01:32:24 am
Girlinhat and Kodkod will have to find a way to settle on who gets what prisoners.
Hmpf. Well as sophisticated, adult women we could easily come to such a decision without resorting to any sort of brutish, uncivilized behaviour.
I could totally take her in a fight, so I get the prisoners.
And if you are a bit overbooked, I'll gladly take some off your hands. For crafting lessons. Whatever state they're in, it doesn't matter, I could use both more pupils and more materials.
g g g
g U g g
g g
This is an engraving of Hugo Luman and some goblins. Hugo Luman is teaching the goblins how to make crossbows. The goblins are learning. This relates to the goblins discovering the secrets of bolts and death.
Post by: wierd on April 09, 2012, 01:36:04 am
Take your average goblin, for instance. It seeks to gain social standking by beseiging the local dwarven, human, and elven settlements.
If it gets killed in combat, it is no worse off, and its progeny is no worse off. If it succeeds, the rewards are large.
If captured? It can't really go home, can it? Being CAPTURED is the greatest dishonor. Being disarmed and kicked out afterwards, doubly so. It paints the goblin and his progeny as being weak, and paints them as a target for bottom feeders in goblin society.
Being captured and then killed? Who is to prove they were captured at all? In allways, its equal to dieing on the battlefield.
As such, killing the goblins, especially through something like a danger room, is actually a great mercy to them once captured.
Putting them in a danger room gives them the fighting chance to kill dwarves, and perhaps make a daring escape, so they can boast of killing dwarves with their bare hands. I don't imagine a goblin turning down the opportunity, no matter how high the deck is stacked.
Post by: Forumite on April 09, 2012, 01:37:21 am
By the laws of probability, the number of would-be assassins increases with number of people ruled, no matter how they are governed. The important thing is that you don't make it in your guards' interests to commit treason.I haven´t heard of that law. I agree with what you say, but I didn´t know anyone had written down a law about it.
I won't ever let my quantum kittens out of their cages. HugoLuman likes kittens for their plotting...
If the mountainhome needs a bowyer, then you can add another me, as Fourmite this time, with Novice (Very Rusty) in Bowyer, Carpenter, Dyer and Clothesmaking.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 09, 2012, 01:38:07 am
Girlinhat and Kodkod will have to find a way to settle on who gets what prisoners.
Hmpf. Well as sophisticated, adult women we could easily come to such a decision without resorting to any sort of brutish, uncivilized behaviour.
I could totally take her in a fight, so I get the prisoners.
And if you are a bit overbooked, I'll gladly take some off your hands. For crafting lessons. Whatever state they're in, it doesn't matter, I could use both more pupils and more materials.
g g g
g U g g
g g
This is an engraving of Hugo Luman and some goblins. Hugo Luman is teaching the goblins how to make crossbows. The goblins are learning. This relates to the goblins discovering the secrets of bolts and death.
The Kittens told me to...
Post by: wierd on April 09, 2012, 01:41:30 am
Eg, of a 1% chance existed, and the population was 100, then there would be 1 assassin, statistically. Of the population was 1000, you have 10 assassins. 10,000 and you have 100.
%X has remained constant at 1%, but population Y has increased.
Post by: Oliolli on April 09, 2012, 01:46:48 am
*eye twitch* I said guerillas. You know, terrorists. Partisans. Freedom fighters. Liberal Crime Squad. Cart bombs, ambushes, crossbow bolts flying out of walls, that kind of stuff.
I know you did, and that's what I liked. Must be natural for a Finn.
By the way, could your hallway firing positions from later on work through fortifications in the walls of the hallways with paths behind them leading to the dining hall? (No direct access to the hallways from the firing positions) Safe from melee, still capable of firing.
One last thing: terrorist=freedom fighter
They're just different points of view.
I know, real life, how to work metal.
*Oliolli looses a roaring laughter, fell and terrible!*
*Koremu has been struck down*
But I already made an artifact!
Also, The professional warrior/soldier. Without an enemy to fight, he is nothing. A world without conflict is a world where he has no purpose, and no meaning.
I have to agree with that. Doubly so for officers. As Patton wrote, more or less: "Civilian life will be very boring. No cheering crowds, flowers, private planes. I'm certain that the best end for an officer is the last bullet of the war."
Post by: wierd on April 09, 2012, 01:54:25 am
By definition, a terrorist is a person who employs terror to illicit some kind of change that is favorable to the terrorist.
A freedom fighter is a person who fights an established government to illicit a change that is favorable to the freedom fighter.
A freedom fighter CAN employ terrorism as a tactic, however this is not required. (See for instance, gandhi.)
A terrorist may be invoking terror to illicit more freedoms, but this is not the case. (It could just as easily be for simple extortion.)
Thus, some freedom fighters are terrorists, and some terrorists are freedom fighters, but not all freedom fighters are terrorists, and not all terrorists are freedom fighters.
Because of that, freedom fighter != terrorist, in the purely logical form.
One could argue that a non-terrorist freedom fighter illicits terror in the currently prevailing social order's power structure, being a clear and present threat to the status quo of that order, but the freedom fighter does not explicitly seek to employ this status, and is therefor not a terrorist.
Compare: a big mastiff dog is very tame, and loves people. The paranoid helicopter parent is terrified the dog will bite their snowflake child while they play together. Is the dog a terrorist?
Post by: Splint on April 09, 2012, 01:56:32 am
Post by: Talvieno on April 09, 2012, 02:02:28 am
i got fired from militia commander?You were never militia commander - you were captain of the guard. lol And you're not missing a foot anymore, congrats. :) ("art" no longer imitates real life. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. If I could savescum for your leg, I probably would.)
you mean i'm not invincibly overtrained yet?
i have discovered the ugly truth..... the twelfth bay is not a mountainhome... it is a dark fortress.
And that's what I wanted from the start! :P A dark fortress sounds more fun than a regular dwarf fortress. but yeah. no. It's a regular fortress. not quite mountainhome yet, but if we keep at it, I'm sure we'll get there.
-minimegasnip about mercy-This is why I drop goblins 10 z's and then let them walk home, unarmed. If they survive (which they hopefully will leaving a huge blood trail).
If the mountainhome needs a bowyer, then you can add another me, as Fourmite this time, with Novice (Very Rusty) in Bowyer, Carpenter, Dyer and Clothesmaking.You're back in. Welcome to The Twelfth Bay (again (sort of)), Fourmite. Tonight we dine in hell. (and all the other nights, too.)
Ninja'd.
Freedom fighters, by definition, fight for freedom.
Terrorists, by definition, seek to inflict terror.
It's completely possible to be just a freedom fighter, just a terrorist, or both.
It's also possible to be neither, but that's not quite what you're talking about right now, so.
Post by: Random Spark on April 09, 2012, 02:05:02 am
He is a Casual worshiper of Armok the god of blood and Three Toe the rites of Word.
He is a citizen of The Twelfth Bay. He is a member of the Southern Beaches.
Charles "Random Spark" McHenry likes Microline, the color Pink, Glass, Chains, Leather, Cages and Cats for their haunting eyes. When possible he prefers to drink Dwarven Rum and "Potato Alcohol[Sic]"
Skilled:
Marksdwarf.
Engraver.
Cook.
Writer.
Reader.
Adept:
Archer.
Liar.
Conversationalist.
Speaker.
Proficient:
Flatterer.
Observer.
Adequate:
Ambusher.
Lasher.
Swimmer.
Poet.
Novice:
Consoler.
Wood Crafter.
Wood Burner.
Dabbling:
Student.
Comedian.
Building Designer.
Post by: Talvieno on April 09, 2012, 02:17:16 am
Also, welcome to the forums. :) I noticed you didn't get that much of a welcome when you first posted your log/story (good read, by the way).
Post by: Random Spark on April 09, 2012, 02:21:53 am
Marksdwarf, Engraver, Cook, Lasher, Woodcrafter, wood burner, architect... Pretty nice selection. Welcome aboard, Random Spark.
Also, welcome to the forums. :) I noticed you didn't get that much of a welcome when you first posted your log/story (good read, by the way).
Hey, you know, thanks.
I haven't had a lot of time to check in with the place but i only ever got that one reply so I've been back on lurking here and there.
I'm just hoping we all agree on how to use archers in combat situations...
Post by: Splint on April 09, 2012, 02:24:55 am
Post by: Talvieno on April 09, 2012, 02:29:20 am
Yep, I noticed. And I hope we all agree on how to use them, too. How would that be? I'd stick them in a fortified tower 2 to 3 z's above the ground.Marksdwarf, Engraver, Cook, Lasher, Woodcrafter, wood burner, architect... Pretty nice selection. Welcome aboard, Random Spark.
Also, welcome to the forums. :) I noticed you didn't get that much of a welcome when you first posted your log/story (good read, by the way).
Hey, you know, thanks.
I haven't had a lot of time to check in with the place but i only ever got that one reply so I've been back on lurking here and there.
I'm just hoping we all agree on how to use archers in combat situations...
Alternatively, I'd put them in minecarts and launch them in high parabolic arcs. There's no way goblins can hit a fast-moving target like that.
Post by: Random Spark on April 09, 2012, 02:41:50 am
Yep, I noticed. And I hope we all agree on how to use them, too. How would that be? I'd stick them in a fortified tower 2 to 3 z's above the ground.
Alternatively, I'd put them in minecarts and launch them in high parabolic arcs. There's no way goblins can hit a fast-moving target like that.
I would gladly substitute this lovely, me shaped, dorf replacement.
His name is "Imposter McMicroline"
He would love to test your D.O.R.F. Coaster.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
(thankfully i keep my me-shaped statues numbered for just such an occasion.)
Post by: Random Spark on April 09, 2012, 02:45:19 am
stick an impassable, shoot throughable obstacle between them and the enemy. Problem solved so long as they have ammo.
I like this guy. Lets make him my militia commander.
Post by: HmH on April 09, 2012, 03:48:26 am
No. I'm your militia commander. Splint, while certainly not without good ideas, seems too pessimistic for a leader.stick an impassable, shoot throughable obstacle between them and the enemy. Problem solved so long as they have ammo.
I like this guy. Lets make him my militia commander.
I mean, 'when we're all dead'? We won't be dead for a long, long time. Remember: we're not dwarves. We will not suffer FPS death at any visible point in the future, and therefore the idea of dying early to begin again is rendered less than lucrative when applied to us humans.
In the Twelfth Bay, Prevailing is Fun.
@Olliolli: I heartily approve of your suggestion on fortifications. Let's waste no more time and go install murderholes into the main corridor.
Post by: Random Spark on April 09, 2012, 03:55:38 am
I like this guy. Lets make him my militia commander.No. I'm your militia commander. Splint, while certainly not without good ideas, seems too pessimistic for a leader.
I mean, 'when we're all dead'? We won't be dead for a long, long time. Remember: we're not dwarves. We will not suffer FPS death at any visible point in the future, and therefore the idea of dying early to begin again is rendered less than lucrative when applied to us humans.
In the Twelfth Bay, Prevailing is Fun.
@Olliolli: I heartily approve of your suggestion on fortifications. Let's waste no more time and go install murderholes into the main corridor.
[/quote]
See, this is why i like that whole GUI part of not being in the fortress.
Now i can't just click around and figure out who is assigned to who in the military menu.
Formally, I'd like to request "rainy day" iron bolts and a silver crossbow..
Ya know. So i can defend myself.
Post by: HmH on April 09, 2012, 06:38:27 am
Formally, I'd like to request "rainy day" iron bolts and a silver crossbow..Aha, another volunteer!
Ya know. So i can defend myself.
Sadly, all our iron bolts have been sown across the map by our primary bolt destacking specialists, the dreaded Hunters. Forging more is not yet a possibility. Afraid you'll have to do with
Don't worry, you'll have double the normal ammo and 29 people's worth of fire support on your back, and also some
Volunteers such as yourself will also enjoy exclusive access to the fort's finest murderholes for the optimal goblin-staking experience.
UPD: I've noticed a worrying tendency of people getting all worked up when they think about who'll get the prettiest captives. I won't go along with Splint's suggestion; prisoners are too valuable to just kill them on the spot.
Instead, in order to prevent pointless hostilities from arising after every siege, I declare that ALL prisoners of war belong to the military commander in charge of fortress defense. In the time of peace, the military commander will be responsible for distribution of said prisoners to petitioners around the fort.
Post by: Gizogin on April 09, 2012, 06:59:13 am
Gizogin; think you can get these damn animals fixed so we can control their breeding?
I second the motion, esspecially with the cats.
Well, I normally only operate on dwarves, but I see no reason that my skills and knowledge shouldn't apply to cats as well. I'll set off an operating theater for the procedures. In the meantime, place all the cats that you don't want to breed in a cage in the hospital. I'll begin as soon as I can.
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 09, 2012, 07:44:01 am
Well, I normally only operate on dwarves, but I see no reason that my skills and knowledge shouldn't apply to cats as well. I'll set off an operating theater for the procedures. In the meantime, place all the cats that you don't want to breed in a cage in the hospital. I'll begin as soon as I can.If you are removing the testicle bones from cats you should also endeavor to discover the bones that make them mew. Cat's are good that cannot mew.
Post by: KodKod on April 09, 2012, 07:54:47 am
If you are removing the testicle bones from cats you should also endeavor to discover the bones that make them mew. Cat's are good that cannot mew.
Don't you even think about it. What use is a cat that cannot mew?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 09, 2012, 08:14:41 am
Compromise!
Don't you even think about it. What use is a cat that cannot mew?Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Observe the following, Kodkod cannot fly, there are no minecarts, Corai is a Kobold, and cat's that mew are terrible.
I have done science to divine the reason that dwarves without the proper bones function as they do. If the bones of the legs or feet do not function they cannot walk, if bones are added in the form of a crutch the walking is continued. Clearly since Kodkod cannot fly she does not have enough bones in her legs. There are no minecarts clearly because we have angered god, to have minecarts we must please god. Corai is a Kobold and therefore it is Corai who has angered god.
The solution is simple: Gizogin will discover which bones of Corai have angered god and remove them. Gizogin will then remove the legs of Kodkod and add to them the god-angering bones of Corai. The legs will be reattached to Kodkod giving her the power of flight and pleasing god who will give us minecarts and Kodkod will allow Broseph Stalin to have the mewing bones of all the cats in her gratitude to him.
Post by: KodKod on April 09, 2012, 08:16:07 am
Post by: Eric Blank on April 09, 2012, 08:18:04 am
If you are removing the testicle bones from cats you should also endeavor to discover the bones that make them mew. Cat's are good that cannot mew.
Don't you even think about it. What use is a cat that cannot mew?Spoiler (click to show/hide)
It has none! Mewing kittens are good!
I demand cherty-chert chert furniture in every furnishable room!
Beautifult shiny chert... Fragments like very hard, thick glass for improvised weaponry.
Compromise!
Don't you even think about it. What use is a cat that cannot mew?Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Observe the following, Kodkod cannot fly, there are no minecarts, Corai is a Kobold, and cat's that mew are terrible.
I have done science to divine the reason that dwarves without the proper bones function as they do. If the bones of the legs or feet do not function they cannot walk, if bones are added in the form of a crutch the walking is continued. Clearly since Kodkod cannot fly she does not have enough bones in her legs. There are no minecarts clearly because we have angered god, to have minecarts we must please god. Corai is a Kobold and therefore it is Corai who has angered god.
The solution is simple: Gizogin will discover which bones of Corai have angered god and remove them. Gizogin will then remove the legs of Kodkod and add to them the god-angering bones of Corai. The legs will be reattached to Kodkod giving her the power of flight and pleasing god who will give us minecarts and Kodkod will allow Broseph Stalin to have the mewing bones of all the cats in her gratitude to him.
What...?
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 09, 2012, 08:23:07 am
What did I just read?
It bears no relevance, remove your legs. It's okay I am a ‼Scientist‼.
Post by: KodKod on April 09, 2012, 08:33:52 am
It bears no relevance, remove your legs. It's okay I am a ‼Scientist‼.
An interesting proposal. Allow me a carefully considered retort.
Scorpions.
Post by: Gizogin on April 09, 2012, 08:59:15 am
Compromise!
Don't you even think about it. What use is a cat that cannot mew?Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Observe the following, Kodkod cannot fly, there are no minecarts, Corai is a Kobold, and cat's that mew are terrible.
I have done science to divine the reason that dwarves without the proper bones function as they do. If the bones of the legs or feet do not function they cannot walk, if bones are added in the form of a crutch the walking is continued. Clearly since Kodkod cannot fly she does not have enough bones in her legs. There are no minecarts clearly because we have angered god, to have minecarts we must please god. Corai is a Kobold and therefore it is Corai who has angered god.
The solution is simple: Gizogin will discover which bones of Corai have angered god and remove them. Gizogin will then remove the legs of Kodkod and add to them the god-angering bones of Corai. The legs will be reattached to Kodkod giving her the power of flight and pleasing god who will give us minecarts and Kodkod will allow Broseph Stalin to have the mewing bones of all the cats in her gratitude to him.
I didn't quite get what this is about, but I read something about removing legs and altering body structures, so I'm all for it. Unless I have to do something that would put me in danger, or even at any inconvenience. Removing Kodkod's legs, for example, would involve scorpions, so I'm against that part of the plan.
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 09, 2012, 09:14:00 am
Quote
This is a rat bone. On the item is an exceptionally designed image of Toady the deity of updates and bugfixes, Corai the Kobold, and bones in rat bone. Corai the Kobold is flaunting the bones. Toady is offended. The relates to the offending of Toady by the Kobold Corai with bones.
On the item is an exceptionally designed image of Toady the deity of updates and bugfixes, minecarts, and dwarves. Toady is withholding the minecarts, the dwarves are weeping. This relates to the withholding of minecarts by Toady.
On the item is an exceptionally designed image of Gizogin, Corai's bones, and KodKod's legs in rat bone. Gizogin is placing the bones in the legs. This relates to the addition of Corai's bones to Kodkod's legs.
On the item is an exceptionally designed image of Kodkod, Toady, and Corai's bones in rat bone. Kodkod is flying with the bones. Kodkod is smiling. Toady is pleased. This relates to the pleasing of Toady with the bones of Corai by the dwarf Kodkod.
On the item is an exceptionally designed image of Toady Dwarves and Minecarts in rat bone. Toady is giving the dwarves the minecarts. The dwarves are rejoicing.
Post by: Talvieno on April 09, 2012, 10:25:02 am
Would the pieces have to be periodically replaced?
EDIT (by request (never had this happen before)):
-WhatHeSaidSnip-I tried to hint at it, but I guess I didn't do a good enough job.
The fortress I'm running - my DF version of The Twelfth Bay - is currently in its second Spring now. All of this (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=106539.msg3176212#msg3176212) was happening in Autumn of the first year. We survived - the situation resolved itself in a rather interesting way.
I'm not allowed to assign anyone jobs that they didn't specifically request in this thread. As a result, we have almost no woodcutters, tanners, architects, and some others.
We have iron bolts now - no need to make wooden ones, except for archery practice.
I'll get to work on the crossbows anyway. As to the crossbow squads, I'm not allowed to draft anyone from the Bay12 forums who didn't specifically state they could be archers.
About tons of wooden spikes: we only have a small handful of carpenters. That makes things a little difficult.
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 09, 2012, 10:46:01 am
So... If we of The Twelfth Bay elected to have Gizogin shove pieces of Corai the Kobold into KodKod's legs... She would fly?Of course she would fly, it's just logical. When you can't walk it's because there aren't enough working bones in your legs. Clearly the reason dwarves can't fly is because their legs don't have enough bones in them. If you added more working bones to the legs you fly.
Would the pieces have to be periodically replaced?
EDIT (by request (never had this happen before)):-WhatHeSaidSnip-I tried to hint at it, but I guess I didn't do a good enough job.
The fortress I'm running - my DF version of The Twelfth Bay - is currently in its second Spring now. All of this (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=106539.msg3176212#msg3176212) was happening in Autumn of the first year. We survived - the situation resolved itself in a rather interesting way.
I'm not allowed to assign anyone jobs that they didn't specifically request in this thread. As a result, we have almost no woodcutters, tanners, architects, and some others.
We have iron bolts now - no need to make wooden ones, except for archery practice.
I'll get to work on the crossbows anyway. As to the crossbow squads, I'm not allowed to draft anyone from the Bay12 forums who didn't specifically state they could be archers.
About tons of wooden spikes: we only have a small handful of carpenters. That makes things a little difficult.
Post by: KodKod on April 09, 2012, 10:53:14 am
Of course she would fly, it's just logical. When you can't walk it's because there aren't enough working bones in your legs. Clearly the reason dwarves can't fly is because their legs don't have enough bones in them. If you added more working bones to the legs you fly.
Giant Cave Spiders have a full eight legs, so I suggest you explain your theory to them first of all, and ask for volunteers.
Post by: Talvieno on April 09, 2012, 10:54:35 am
Last time I checked... spiders don't have bones... :POf course she would fly, it's just logical. When you can't walk it's because there aren't enough working bones in your legs. Clearly the reason dwarves can't fly is because their legs don't have enough bones in them. If you added more working bones to the legs you fly.
Giant Cave Spiders have a full eight legs, so I suggest you explain your theory to them first of all, and ask for volunteers.
Post by: KodKod on April 09, 2012, 10:58:45 am
Last time I checked... spiders don't have bones... :P
And why does that stop you from adding bones?
Post by: Talvieno on April 09, 2012, 10:59:49 am
What reason would I have?Last time I checked... spiders don't have bones... :P
And why does that stop you from adding bones?
Post by: KodKod on April 09, 2012, 11:01:01 am
What reason would I have?
You don't have any reason, but Mister Stalin seems rather keen on the idea.
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 09, 2012, 11:01:10 am
Giant Cave Spiders have a full eight legs, so I suggest you explain your theory to them first of all, and ask for volunteers.Spiders, Scorpions, and all other insects wear their bones on the outside making experimenting on them complicated. The exoskeleton is a stupid fad and I expect it will end shortly.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 09, 2012, 11:01:45 am
What reason would I have?Last time I checked... spiders don't have bones... :P
And why does that stop you from adding bones?
Inventing a new form of bone structure is always worth the crime against nature.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on April 09, 2012, 11:05:24 am
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 09, 2012, 11:06:14 am
Post by: Talvieno on April 09, 2012, 11:06:53 am
Ahhhh, I meant about spiders. I didn't say anything about you. :PWhat reason would I have?
You don't have any reason, but Mister Stalin seems rather keen on the idea.
It's not a crime against nature until onlookers are stunned and/or horrified for a good 30 seconds by the sight of it alone.You're a true dwarf.
Post by: Oliolli on April 09, 2012, 11:12:16 am
What reason would I have?Last time I checked... spiders don't have bones... :P
And why does that stop you from adding bones?
Inventing a new form of bone structure is always worth the crime against nature.
It's worth doing simply for the sake of the crime against nature. If science can't play god, we should never have even crawled out of the water!
Post by: Gizogin on April 09, 2012, 11:19:08 am
For those cats, I plan to stitch a small cage to them. This will contain the kittens without unduly restricting the mobility of the mother cat. When the kittens have matured, they can be butchered or metalicized, or just left in the cage.
Post by: Splint on April 09, 2012, 12:24:17 pm
We're adaptable, toolmaking, above average sized monkeies goddamnit! You saying the majority of us are incapable of learning anything? besides, who said anything we humies do had to be fancy? Even I could make a chair with enough nails and vaugly shaped pieces of wood; whatever was too long, saw. too short.... nail a smaller bit on the bottom! This is coming from a person with only limited carpentry skills (I used to help my dad with stuff requiring more than 2 hands.)
Wouldn't exactly be comfortable, but it'd be better than standing. And probably look like a bunch of scrap wood bits glued together.... Bet making spikes would be a bitch for us though.
I would imagine anything we did try to do would end badly the first few times though at least. very badly. And result in dwarves laughing at us for our ineptitude with wood and stone. masonry and most forms of metalworking I could totally understand damn near none of us knowing how to do, cause I'm not even sure what all of the tools for those are.
But it still seems like an unecessarily imposed challenge, since we humans are intelligent and quite capable of learning new things sort of quickly. Not like dwarves, but still.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 09, 2012, 12:31:44 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: KodKod on April 09, 2012, 12:37:50 pm
On the topic of sky whalesSpoiler (click to show/hide)
What. Have. You. DONE?
Now capture one, cage it, break its spirit and train it for war. Then have it kill all the clowns.
Post by: Talvieno on April 09, 2012, 01:02:51 pm
I understand we're human and all, but come on, we can learn how to do crap! And we have the dwarves, again, who can show us how to do this in a sort-of right way.No, think about it. Dwarves can build perfectly functioning cages, doors, stairs, statues - even crossbows and magma pumps - anything the first time through. We can't. We wouldn't have the slightest idea how, for most of it. Unfortunately, Dwarf Fortress can't simulate the learning process. Rather than give everyone jobs they didn't specify, I limited myself to only giving them the jobs they said they'd be capable of. While this keeps anyone from learning anything new, it also keeps people like KodKod from being upset that I gave them cleaning duty, or sent them to work in the mines. It helps preserve the characters that people laid out for themselves in this thread. If it was completely realistic, we'd all learn to do the jobs that needed done. Anyone can chop a tree, right? But who among us do I assign the task?
We're adaptable, toolmaking, above average sized monkeies goddamnit! You saying the majority of us are incapable of learning anything? besides, who said anything we humies do had to be fancy? Even I could make a chair with enough nails and vaugly shaped pieces of wood; whatever was too long, saw. too short.... nail a smaller bit on the bottom! This is coming from a person with only limited carpentry skills (I used to help my dad with stuff requiring more than 2 hands.)
Wouldn't exactly be comfortable, but it'd be better than standing. And probably look like a bunch of scrap wood bits glued together.... Bet making spikes would be a bitch for us though.
I would imagine anything we did try to do would end badly the first few times though at least. very badly. And result in dwarves laughing at us for our ineptitude with wood and stone. masonry and most forms of metalworking I could totally understand damn near none of us knowing how to do, cause I'm not even sure what all of the tools for those are.
But it still seems like an unecessarily imposed challenge, since we humans are intelligent and quite capable of learning new things sort of quickly. Not like dwarves, but still.
Stil was a lucky find. He said he'd do anything. lol Therefore, he was the one to step up to chop down the forest - and he ended up doing a pretty damn good job of it, too. The second time through I was able to add Oliolli to woodcutting duty, and it got done twice as fast.
Plus, if I just gave anyone what jobs I wanted, that would be entirely too easy, and hardly worth a playthrough. :-\ Even with the lack of food.
On the topic of sky whalesEpic. This reminds me of the time that I modded dragons so that they could fly, learn and open doors, and then created a civilization for them. Those were the worst sieges I've ever experienced... but they were fun.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Eric Blank on April 09, 2012, 01:24:33 pm
I can also do some ugly, uncomfortable carpentry and basic bow-making. (think a flexible, relatively flaw-free stick with fishing line strung between the ends. I call that a bow. I call strapping that to another stick a crossbow, and another thin stick with a pointy end and a notch a crappy toy arrow. I've done it all before. I can improve... With chert/obsidian points and turkey feather fletchings.)
You set me up with architecture, stonecrafting and masonry, right? I know I have dabbling experience with all three, but more than I have with digging. Maybe mechanics, eventually. I'm terrible with machines...
Post by: KodKod on April 09, 2012, 01:27:07 pm
While this keeps anyone from learning anything new, it also keeps people like KodKod from being upset that I gave them cleaning duty, or sent them to work in the mines.
Whilst we're on the subject, what do I do exactly? The only skills that I have mentioned so far that are DF applicable are my talents of hurting people in a variety of colourful and creative ways. I think I mentioned cooking at one point, but it would be a very
I hereby volunteer my not-previously-mentioned organisational skills for use as bookkeeper or manager. That would fit in quite nicely and give me the opportunity to be
Remember kids, the locks aren't to keep everyone else out, they're to keep me IN.
Post by: Splint on April 09, 2012, 01:29:22 pm
Remember kids, the locks aren't to keep everyone else out, they're to keep me IN.
Are you a vampire or something that we need to keep locked up?
Post by: KodKod on April 09, 2012, 01:30:36 pm
Are you a vampire or something that we need to keep locked up?
"Or something".
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 09, 2012, 01:42:46 pm
On the topic of sky whalesEpic. This reminds me of the time that I modded dragons so that they could fly, learn and open doors, and then created a civilization for them. Those were the worst sieges I've ever experienced... but they were fun.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Oh I tried them against multiple dragons, no contest, the poor lizards get pummeled ;(
What. Have. You. DONE?
Now capture one, cage it, break its spirit and train it for war. Then have it kill all the clowns.
A sky whale or an avatar? Both have not yet faced the HFS, though I think it's about time...
Post by: KodKod on April 09, 2012, 01:44:54 pm
A sky whale or an avatar? Both have not yet faced the HFS, though I think it's about time...
The majestic sky whale, of course, gliding through the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
Post by: Oliolli on April 09, 2012, 01:49:52 pm
A sky whale or an avatar? Both have not yet faced the HFS, though I think it's about time...
The majestic sky whale, of course, gliding through the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
(...was that a Hitchhiker's Guide -reference? I'm quite certain there's somthing like that in there.)
Look at them, gliding through the air majestically, like an eagle... piloting a blimp.
Post by: KodKod on April 09, 2012, 01:54:39 pm
(...was that a Hitchhiker's Guide -reference? I'm quite certain there's somthing like that in there.)
Natch. I love the Hitchhiker's Guide.
In fact I think you might have been the one who caught the last reference I made to it, too.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 09, 2012, 06:26:27 pm
If you want us to tell you specifically what we're capable of, here's my most likely skill set:
At least novice in all crafting (dabbling metalcrafter though), most competent/proficient
Novice bone carver/crafter
Adequate archer
Novice bowman
Competent grower
Competent organizer
Legendary reader
I'm willing to dig, but just make sure all my crafting labors are turned on.
Post by: Fen on April 09, 2012, 08:07:41 pm
(...was that a Hitchhiker's Guide -reference? I'm quite certain there's somthing like that in there.)
Natch. I love the Hitchhiker's Guide.
In fact I think you might have been the one who caught the last reference I made to it, too.
Schist, I just realized, we'd lose the vast majority of really good books if we went into DF-land. Good thing I have Hitchhiker's and a bunch of Terry Pratchett on my iphone...
The problem being, then, what would I transcribe from the phone? The battery surely wouldn't last long enough to get them all..
Post by: Eric Blank on April 09, 2012, 08:18:08 pm
Although, considering the average IQ and academic successes of our community, somebody would probably be able to come up with a charging solution for our devices. We'd just have to hold them extra-tight, as just about everyone would be wanting to get their slimy mitts on our magic boxes!
Post by: KodKod on April 09, 2012, 08:20:14 pm
Schist, I just realized, we'd lose the vast majority of really good books if we went into DF-land. Good thing I have Hitchhiker's and a bunch of Terry Pratchett on my iphone...
The problem being, then, what would I transcribe from the phone? The battery surely wouldn't last long enough to get them all..
I think there's a good chance than the majority of all books would be lost to us.
The solution to this problem is elementary; we simply lock anyone who has previously displayed any talent for writing, such as girlinhat, in a room with a chisel, and deny them food until they have turned the whole area into an original masterpiece of literature.
If not, then I shall go in and give them my own painful brand of motivation in order to ensure that the work is completed.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 09, 2012, 08:22:27 pm
Why engrave? Personally, I know how to make graphite pencils. Assuming the site has graphite, anyway. I could settle for charcoal or oak ink.
Post by: KodKod on April 09, 2012, 08:25:29 pm
Why engrave? Personally, I know how to make graphite pencils. Assuming the site has graphite, anyway. I could settle for charcoal or oak ink.
That's nice, but can you also mass produce paper?
Post by: Splint on April 09, 2012, 08:26:20 pm
It is a massive tome bound in giant kea leather. It menaces with spikes of dog bone and a nondescript grey stone. It is encrusted with various gemcuts. It bears it's words with paper made from quarry bush leaf fibers and a combination of redroot and dimple dye. On the back is an image of a dwarf and picks in in giant kea bone. the dwarf is surrounded by the picks. On the front is an image of a mountain, a great '12' and humans in yak leather. The humans are surrounding the mountain and both are below the 12. The art relates to the foundation of The Twelfth bay by an unknown group of humans at an unknown time.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 09, 2012, 08:29:56 pm
Why engrave? Personally, I know how to make graphite pencils. Assuming the site has graphite, anyway. I could settle for charcoal or oak ink.
That's nice, but can you also mass produce paper?
Don't need it. If we have animals, we can make vellum or parchment.
Anyway, reeds could be used to make paper.
Post by: KodKod on April 09, 2012, 08:34:24 pm
Don't need it. If we have animals, we can make vellum or parchment.
Anyway, reeds could be used to make paper.
Okay, that will do. In that case the chisel is out, but I'm still sticking by my locked-in-a-room-with-no-food ploy.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 09, 2012, 08:35:03 pm
Schist, I just realized, we'd lose the vast majority of really good books if we went into DF-land. Good thing I have Hitchhiker's and a bunch of Terry Pratchett on my iphone...
The problem being, then, what would I transcribe from the phone? The battery surely wouldn't last long enough to get them all..
I think there's a good chance than the majority of all books would be lost to us.
The solution to this problem is elementary; we simply lock anyone who has previously displayed any talent for writing, such as girlinhat, in a room with a chisel, and deny them food until they have turned the whole area into an original masterpiece of literature.
If not, then I shall go in and give them my own painful brand of motivation in order to ensure that the work is completed.
Well then it's a good thing I never wrote anything of note to anyone! >.>
Post by: Sus on April 09, 2012, 08:51:35 pm
What use is a cat that cannot mew?Cat. Tallow. Roast.
Isn't anybody in here listening at all? >:(
Post by: Mapleguy555 on April 09, 2012, 08:59:19 pm
What use is a cat that cannot mew?Cat. Tallow. Roast.
Isn't anybody in here listening at all? >:(
"Urist, did you hear that? I think it's the wind talking."
@Kod(Kod)
I will personally toss over a copy of Zas Ebal from Swordthunders. Of course, you have to get a new one every turn...
Post by: Corai on April 09, 2012, 09:07:46 pm
"...where is he anyw-WHERE IS OUR FOOD."
Food has been stolen!
Post by: Reudh on April 09, 2012, 09:36:32 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on April 09, 2012, 09:40:56 pm
Post by: Fen on April 09, 2012, 10:00:50 pm
So I'd probably read the ink-stained novels of the Twelfth Bay to all the dwarf migrants.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 09, 2012, 10:03:32 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Did we just invent religion?
Post by: MetalHead on April 09, 2012, 10:05:19 pm
I also appreciate anything sharp and/or shiny so if we're overstocked on food producers and brewers I hereby volunteer to found, train and lead the First Legion of Elephant Cavalry, the Murdered Boats. I will bring back two captives for every three foes I slay for live-fire training exercises and for the fort's Torturer (Kodkod, who else) to play with.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 09, 2012, 10:07:17 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Did we just invent religion?
I'd say it's more of a way to catalog historical events from multiple viewpoints. If something interesting happened, everyone would want to take a whack at that tome. Of course, it could also contain some particularly entertaining literature as well.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 09, 2012, 10:09:10 pm
Name your poison
Strychnine?
Post by: Corai on April 09, 2012, 10:10:43 pm
The elves are bringing the full force of there land against you!
The dead walk, hide while you can!
A vile force of darkness has arrived!
The kobolds have arrived in force!
And they all come to say one thing, HAPPY 50TH PAGE, THE TWELTH BAY! ENJOY OUR !!FUN!! PRESENTS!
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 09, 2012, 10:11:45 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on April 09, 2012, 10:14:32 pm
Post by: Reudh on April 09, 2012, 10:15:54 pm
And it'd be interesting to see our forts written up in a weird metastory thing. I would love to write a story of my forts. Creaturebolt, Boldropes I and II, Zalisiden, Limulunnos and now finally Sabreheals.
Post by: wierd on April 09, 2012, 10:18:30 pm
In additon to that, it flows poorly, goes down waaaaaaay too wet, and runs out on the dip pen too quickly, in addition to running and bleeding on the paper or parchment.
Terrible.
Better is genuine india ink, made from a light vegetable oil, alcohol, lamp black, and cedar rosin.
A passable cheap knockoff can be made with milk whey and lamp black as well, gently boiled down to thicken.
Genuine irongall black is made from fermented oak galls and iron chloride, kept in sealed bottles. This is also deleterious to paper and metal pen tips, but does not bleed as badly, and is completely indellable.
Indigo ink, made from white ammonia with indigotin dissolved in it, also works fairly well, and is one of the few exceptions to plant dye based inks. (Indigo complex is insoluble in water, but reduces in contact with alkaline solvents, forming "indigo white", which is water soluble. This is how indigo is applied as a dyestuff. The blue color comes from oxidative reaction with the atmosphere, and evaporation of the ammonia in the dyebath. It slowly turns from colorless to deep blue as it develops.)
Red inks were either made from (inferior) madder, or (superior) dragon's blood accacia sap.
Post by: MetalHead on April 09, 2012, 10:19:45 pm
Name your poison
Strychnine?
Shaken, stirred, or in your spouse's dinner?
Post by: wierd on April 09, 2012, 10:22:03 pm
It works wonders on children.
Post by: Corai on April 09, 2012, 10:24:11 pm
Post by: MetalHead on April 09, 2012, 10:26:34 pm
Personally, I prefer hydrocyanic acid, lovingly added to almond marsipan, drizzled with honey and toffee bits.
It works wonders on children.
We should sell that to Kodkod for her fortresses. Her undying 'love' for dwarven children is at the very least masterwork.
Post by: Splint on April 09, 2012, 10:32:33 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Did we just invent religion?
Ah, that would have to be a great tome to Armok, whom the dwarves think is nonexistant.
This is the Great Tome of Armok. It is bound in the finest cat leather, encircled and studded with steel, encrusted with the finest cuts of onyx and obsidian and a great volcano is present upon the front cover above a great 12 in elf bone, with masterfully laid ruby for lava/magma. Upon the back is an image of a strange mechanical device and a human. The human is being sucked into the device. The image is in goblin bone and relates to the will of Armok being carried out. It's words are largely of magma, !!SCIENCE!! and !!FUN!! in the parlence of those who wrote it. it's words are bourne upondog-based parchment of masterful quality. In place of any ink is blood of unknown orgin, theorized to be that of any number of animals, races, or even Armok himself. Upon the inside front cover is an image of a burning dwarf and volcanos in obsidian. The dwarf is surrounded by the volcanos. The dwarf is forcing the volcanos to erupt. The image is theorized to relate to the forging of worlds by Armok, commonly represented as a male dwarf. Upon the inside back cover is one of the Spawn of Holistic in elephant ivory. The Spawn is striking a menacing pose.
Couldn't resist. Also, the dye was just what came to mind first when I thought of what dwarves used to write.
Post by: wierd on April 09, 2012, 10:33:39 pm
Ricin red bean mochi is another fine choice, but most western children are put off by the bland rice dough, and unique texture of the red bean jam.
Post by: Corai on April 09, 2012, 10:35:58 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Did we just invent religion?
Ah, that would have to be a great tome to Armok, whom the dwarves think is nonexistant.
This is the Great Tome of Armok. It is bound in the finest cat leather, encircled and studded with steel, encrusted with the finest cuts of onyx and obsidian and a great volcano is present upon the front cover above a great 12 in elf bone, with masterfully laid ruby for lava/magma. Upon the back is an image of a strange mechanical device and a human. The human is being sucked into the device. The image is in goblin bone and relates to the will of Armok being carried out. It's words are largely of magma, !!SCIENCE!! and !!FUN!! in the parlence of those who wrote it. it's words are bourne upondog-based parchment of masterful quality. In place of any ink is blood of unknown orgin, theorized to be that of any number of animals, races, or even Armok himself. Upon the inside front cover is an image of a burning dwarf and volcanos in obsidian. The dwarf is surrounded by the volcanos. The dwarf is forcing the volcanos to erupt. The image is theorized to relate to the forging of worlds by Armok, commonly represented as a male dwarf. Upon the inside back cover is one of the Spawn of Holistic in elephant ivory. The Spawn is striking a menacing pose.
Couldn't resist. Also, the dye was just what came to mind first when I thought of what dwarves used to write.
I've gotten to the winter of Zapp Dwarf, I love the irony in adamanite.
"NO MORE"
"YOU GET TO HANDLE IT SINCE YOU WANT TO! :D"
Post by: RAKninja on April 09, 2012, 10:41:11 pm
i should be a bit more specific, i guess. i was a cavalry scout. i am at the very least "skilled" in observation and ambushing. i am at least a competent spearman. actually, perhaps competent in all the basic combat skills (armor, dodging, fighting, wrestling, striking, kicking... not so much the biting *his front upper tooth is missing!*)
ive worked administratively, so i have some skill in organizer. i'm at least novice mason (dad owned a bricklaying company), dabbling carpenter. survival training has gained me skill in trapping and herbalism. oh, i suppose i'm adequate miner as well. give me a month and an e-tool (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entrenching_tool#Modern_developments) and i will dig you out a comfortable place to live.
i suppose my skill at rifle marksmanship would somehow be translated to croassbowmanship. not sure what my computer repair, large diesel engine maintenance, and armorer/gunsmithing skills would translate out to.
Post by: Splint on April 09, 2012, 10:43:39 pm
Post by: MetalHead on April 09, 2012, 10:45:47 pm
Killer confectionary is one of my specialties.
Ricin red bean mochi is another fine choice, but most western children are put off by the bland rice dough, and unique texture of the red bean jam.
My years in various hives of scum and villainy on the 'Tubes must have really messed up my instinctive horror response as while I still fear to ask how you know so much on this particular subject the fact that you do isn't particularly disturbing beyond that. Almost makes me worry.
/Back to the Topic!
RAKninja: If I get you a good crossbow you wanna ride one of my elephants? If you prefer a recon role I could try and 'persuade' the next batch of elves to donate a Giant Cheetah/Jaguar for your use instead.
Post by: KodKod on April 09, 2012, 10:50:32 pm
Personally, I prefer hydrocyanic acid, lovingly added to almond marsipan, drizzled with honey and toffee bits.We should sell that to Kodkod for her fortresses. Her undying 'love' for dwarven children is at the very least masterwork.
It works wonders on children.
Ha. Ha. Ha... Awkward.
Moving swiftly on... Scorpions.
Post by: Splint on April 09, 2012, 10:51:37 pm
And I;m glad Spearbreakers got acknowleged by COrai, and my great tomes are known! muahahahahahaha! I AM PROPHET.
Post by: MetalHead on April 09, 2012, 11:00:34 pm
Personally, I prefer hydrocyanic acid, lovingly added to almond marsipan, drizzled with honey and toffee bits.We should sell that to Kodkod for her fortresses. Her undying 'love' for dwarven children is at the very least masterwork.
It works wonders on children.
Ha. Ha. Ha... Awkward.
Moving swiftly on... Scorpions.
Scorpions are fine too. Combined with fortified GCS and a carp-filled moat the fortress should have a properly nasty first line of defense.
Also, was that just a hasty segue or a thinly-veiled threat?
Post by: KodKod on April 09, 2012, 11:01:46 pm
Also, was that just a hasty segue or a thinly-veiled threat?
The two are not mutually exclusive.
Post by: Talvieno on April 09, 2012, 11:03:29 pm
Corai - +1 to you for reading Spearbreakers. :D
Wierd, if Toady ever puts alchemy back in the game (which I imagine is analogous to phytochemistry), you'll probably be one of the best among us.
KodKod, you're a mason/animal trainer, given these jobs for your desire to build your own torturehouse, and of course how you're the Scorpion Queen. You need a way to tame those scorpions, right? So they don't kill us all? (not that you'd mind)
Metalhead, welcome to The Twelfth Bay. I'm your miner, as Eric Blank apparently signed off for bowyer duty, so just point at the wall somewhere and I'll carve you a room. I've done plenty of digging in "real life", so.
Our clothes are going to wear out at some point. What do we do? Nobody's ever mentioned this problem.
Post by: Corai on April 09, 2012, 11:03:52 pm
Personally, I prefer hydrocyanic acid, lovingly added to almond marsipan, drizzled with honey and toffee bits.We should sell that to Kodkod for her fortresses. Her undying 'love' for dwarven children is at the very least masterwork.
It works wonders on children.
Ha. Ha. Ha... Awkward.
Moving swiftly on... Scorpions.
Scorpions are fine too. Combined with fortified GCS and a carp-filled moat the fortress should have a properly nasty first line of defense.
Also, was that just a hasty segue or a thinly-veiled threat?
My kobolds are normally fed to the Scorpions, I keep trying to tell them that KodKod wont do it slowly, but they keep bringing spears and swords when they go to do there forced-pilgrimage!
Post by: wierd on April 09, 2012, 11:04:51 pm
Killer confectionary is one of my specialties.
Ricin red bean mochi is another fine choice, but most western children are put off by the bland rice dough, and unique texture of the red bean jam.
My years in various hives of scum and villainy on the 'Tubes must have really messed up my instinctive horror response as while I still fear to ask how you know so much on this particular subject the fact that you do isn't particularly disturbing beyond that. Almost makes me worry.
/Back to the Topic!
RAKninja: If I get you a good crossbow you wanna ride one of my elephants? If you prefer a recon role I could try and 'persuade' the next batch of elves to donate a Giant Cheetah/Jaguar for your use instead.
Oh, don't worry roo much. While kodkod got the much more useful education on proper wine selection and western dinner ettiquette, I got schooled on the finer points of explosives, poisons, and antidotes, the symptoms of accure radiation exposure, battlefield surgical techniques and the like. An interest in gastronomy and cuisine is my own doing. The natural combination of the two is a purely hypothetical method of administering said substances. Marzipan is a fine textured almond meal, mixed with sugar. It is used as a more tasty alternative to fondant in cake making and confectionary, and is often presented coated in chocolate.
Hydrocyanic acid (cyanide) is colorless and flavorless, with a slight fragrance of bitter almonds. Adding it to the almond meal would disguise this fragrance, making it undetectable. Further overpowering the effect are the honey and toffee bits, which also excite absorption, for a fast acting killer confection.
Ricin is harder to obtain, being deadly in the microgram dosage, and all. It is odorless and flavorless in refined form. It is naturally contained in minute concentrations in caster beans. Adding a sufficient yeild of casterbeans to the red bean (red beans are the beanlike seeds of the kudzu vine) jam will permit you to make any number of deadly confections, if properly prepared. Mochi is a traditional favorite.
Post by: MetalHead on April 09, 2012, 11:13:37 pm
Also, was that just a hasty segue or a thinly-veiled threat?
The two are not mutually exclusive.
'Also, was that just a hasty segue
Wow, this thread is moving fast. :o RAKninja - you're captain of the guard, which I normally send into battle along with the squad, so therefore, you're a soldier. You also have a smallarmysquad at your disposal (disposal might be a poor choice of words). As to computer repair, I fear that the secrets of computer technology would soon be lost... that kind of thing requires the proper tools to create the proper tools to create the integrated circuits, and we don't have the proper tools, or the proper tools to create the other proper tools.
Corai - +1 to you for reading Spearbreakers. :D
Wierd, if Toady ever puts alchemy back in the game (which I imagine is analogous to phytochemistry), you'll probably be one of the best among us.
KodKod, you're a mason/animal trainer, given these jobs for your desire to build your own torturehouse, and of course how you're the Scorpion Queen. You need a way to tame those scorpions, right? So they don't kill us all? (not that you'd mind)
Metalhead, welcome to The Twelfth Bay. I'm your miner, as Eric Blank apparently signed off for bowyer duty, so just point at the wall somewhere and I'll carve you a room. I've done plenty of digging in "real life", so.
Question: Our clothes are going to wear out at some point. What do we do??
Thanks, just carve a random chunk out anywhere for me. Which of my talents do we need the most right now? I can also perform engineering- and mechanical-related work as well if needed as well as previously mentioned. If my role will be of a more wildlife-related one, what biome are we camped out in and what's been spotted so far above- and below-ground?
(Sorry I just found the thread a bit ago and haven't had the chance to read if this has been described somewhere already. Think of me as a moderately-skilled and versatile migrant looking for the first task I can do... and don't tell Kodkod I'm new or I'll probably be her next 'customer' :o)
Killer confectionary is one of my specialties.
Ricin red bean mochi is another fine choice, but most western children are put off by the bland rice dough, and unique texture of the red bean jam.
My years in various hives of scum and villainy on the 'Tubes must have really messed up my instinctive horror response as while I still fear to ask how you know so much on this particular subject the fact that you do isn't particularly disturbing beyond that. Almost makes me worry.
/Back to the Topic!
RAKninja: If I get you a good crossbow you wanna ride one of my elephants? If you prefer a recon role I could try and 'persuade' the next batch of elves to donate a Giant Cheetah/Jaguar for your use instead.
Oh, don't worry roo much. While kodkod got the much more useful education on proper wine selection and western dinner ettiquette, I got schooled on the finer points of explosives, poisons, and antidotes, the symptoms of accure radiation exposure, battlefield surgical techniques and the like. An interest in gastronomy and cuisine is my own doing. The natural combination of the two is a purely hypothetical method of administering said substances. Marzipan is a fine textured almond meal, mixed with sugar. It is used as a more tasty alternative to fondant in cake making and confectionary, and is often presented coated in chocolate.
Hydrocyanic acid (cyanide) is colorless and flavorless, with a slight fragrance of bitter almonds. Adding it to the almond meal would disguise this fragrance, making it undetectable. Further overpowering the effect are the honey and toffee bits, which also excite absorption, for a fast acting killer confection.
Ricin is harder to obtain, being deadly in the microgram dosage, and all. It is odorless and flavorless in refined form. It is naturally contained in minute concentrations in caster beans. Adding a sufficient yeild of casterbeans to the red bean (red beans are the beanlike seeds of the kudzu vine) jam will permit you to make any number of deadly confections, if properly prepared. Mochi is a traditional favorite.
That is clever, as having worked with cyanic compounds during university chem classes the first rule was always 'if you smell almonds, run like hell'. Side benefit of ricin is that no antidote exists even if its detected. As to culinary escapades mine mostly are based on my 'redneck' upbringing and focus on the many forms of barbecue, from basic grilling to proper marinade and baste mixes and techniques and the art of smoking. Sure it can be a bit crude but turning a rock-solid slab of ribs into a tender plate of delectable goodness is an achievement that should not be overlooked.
And we can spend 8 hours standing around and drinking beer just to cook lunch, which is also nice.
Post by: Corai on April 09, 2012, 11:16:30 pm
I am a superb digger, but since im a kobold....just have me as
Post by: wierd on April 09, 2012, 11:21:33 pm
I never said what I was good at, oh my!
I am a superb digger, but since im a kobold....just have me askodkodsomeone's servant. Burrow me in there room with food and water.
I can make you some delicious candy! Perhaps puff pastry with woodrose extract? (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawaiian_baby_woodrose)
I garantee no two will ever be quite alike!
Post by: Corai on April 09, 2012, 11:23:58 pm
I never said what I was good at, oh my!
I am a superb digger, but since im a kobold....just have me askodkodsomeone's servant. Burrow me in there room with food and water.
I can make you some delicious candy! Perhaps puff pastry with woodrose extract? (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawaiian_baby_woodrose)
I garantee no two will ever be quite alike!
Jumping to grab it, but unable to get to the dwarve's knee-height
Post by: Talvieno on April 09, 2012, 11:24:35 pm
Hmmmm... Without a government to tell us what to do, I suppose we make our own rules. Therefore, hallucinogens aren't illegal if we don't want them to be. :PI never said what I was good at, oh my!
I am a superb digger, but since im a kobold....just have me askodkodsomeone's servant. Burrow me in there room with food and water.
I can make you some delicious candy! Perhaps puff pastry with woodrose extract? (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawaiian_baby_woodrose)
I garantee no two will ever be quite alike!
EDIT: Ack, missed MetalHead's post. Editing now. Or I'll post again if somebody says something faster than I can type. :P
Post by: MetalHead on April 09, 2012, 11:28:04 pm
Hmmmm... Without a government to tell us what to do, I suppose we make our own rules. Therefore, hallucinogens aren't illegal if we don't want them to be. :PI never said what I was good at, oh my!
I am a superb digger, but since im a kobold....just have me askodkodsomeone's servant. Burrow me in there room with food and water.
I can make you some delicious candy! Perhaps puff pastry with woodrose extract? (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawaiian_baby_woodrose)
I garantee no two will ever be quite alike!
EDIT: Ack, missed MetalHead's post. Editing now. Or I'll post again if somebody says something faster than I can type. :P
It's cool man, no rush.
Also if hallucinogens are allowed I call dibs on a plot just inside the wall for... rope production, that's it!
Post by: Splint on April 09, 2012, 11:29:07 pm
Post by: Corai on April 09, 2012, 11:29:19 pm
Post by: RAKninja on April 09, 2012, 11:31:57 pm
heavy cav. recon by fire.Killer confectionary is one of my specialties.
Ricin red bean mochi is another fine choice, but most western children are put off by the bland rice dough, and unique texture of the red bean jam.
My years in various hives of scum and villainy on the 'Tubes must have really messed up my instinctive horror response as while I still fear to ask how you know so much on this particular subject the fact that you do isn't particularly disturbing beyond that. Almost makes me worry.
/Back to the Topic!
RAKninja: If I get you a good crossbow you wanna ride one of my elephants? If you prefer a recon role I could try and 'persuade' the next batch of elves to donate a Giant Cheetah/Jaguar for your use instead.
elephant is a bit too heavy though. would be a tank analog. i dont use tanks, i used a bradly fighting vehicle. something like a tank, but also an armored personal carrier. infantry uses the same thing, but they have the cargo bay modded out to carry a squad of troops. we cav boys had room in the back for two, the rest was taken up with extra 25mm, 7.62mm ammo and something like 8 or 10 missiles.
so, how bout a rhino? failing that, i guess a giant jaguar works.
RAKninja - you're captain of the guard, which I normally send into battle along with the squad, so therefore, you're a soldier. You also have a smallarmysquad at your disposal (disposal might be a poor choice of words). As to computer repair, I fear that the secrets of computer technology would soon be lost... that kind of thing requires the proper tools to create the proper tools to create the integrated circuits, and we don't have the proper tools, or the proper tools to create the other proper tools.
ah, you use the fortress guard different than i do. i use it as a police force, and a training unit, where wounded veterans who are not "combat effective" anymore can pass on their skills to raw recruits, save for the CoG himself, a permanent fixture.
not having fought with my fortress guard much, i assume military orders take precedence over jailing jobs? would suck if i were advancing on the siege, ready to take it down singlehandedly.... then i mosey back into the fort to throw urist mctantrumpants in jail because he broke a mason's workshop and hit catten mcchild in the head with a x pig tail fiber shoe x.
Might need to make due with rope reeds man. I dunno if there's any hemp here.what do you think rope reed is?
Post by: Eric Blank on April 09, 2012, 11:32:35 pm
...Eric Blank apparently signed off for bowyer duty...
I specifically ordained to accept what responsibilities I have at least some experience in, not to sign out of those which I have interest in!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 09, 2012, 11:32:56 pm
Slave for taking! CoraiUnki will work for booze and food, will stay in room, clean,Didn't list my crafting lessons, though.and steal any and all valuables not on high shelves, requests all items be on high shelves. Will not accept torture of hallucinogenics, scorpions, knives, daggers, swords, wrestling, dogs, wolves, Forgotten beasts, !!FUN!!, or Child Training Programs.
Post by: Corai on April 09, 2012, 11:34:06 pm
Slave for taking! CoraiUnki will work for booze and food, will stay in room, clean,Didn't list my crafting lessons, though.and steal any and all valuables not on high shelves, requests all items be on high shelves. Will not accept torture of hallucinogenics, scorpions, knives, daggers, swords, wrestling, dogs, wolves, Forgotten beasts, !!FUN!!, or Child Training Programs.
You turn it over...
Will also accept any
Post by: Splint on April 09, 2012, 11:35:25 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 09, 2012, 11:35:30 pm
'Also, was that just a hasty segueorand athinly-veiledthreat?' work better for you?
That sounds about right.
KodKod, you're a mason/animal trainer, given these jobs for your desire to build your own torturehouse, and of course how you're the Scorpion Queen. You need a way to tame those scorpions, right? So they don't kill us all? (not that you'd mind)
This is... acceptable. Indoctrinated war animals are all the rage.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 09, 2012, 11:41:16 pm
ITS A TRICK! the kobold is just trying to learn how to make crap so they can rise up! DONT BE FEWLED.Notice how I said that Corai forgot to list it under 'torture'
Post by: MetalHead on April 09, 2012, 11:41:43 pm
Slave for taking! CoraiUnki will work for booze and food, will stay in room, clean,and steal any and all valuables not on high shelves, requests all items be on high shelves. Will not accept torture of hallucinogenics, scorpions, knives, daggers, swords, wrestling, dogs, wolves, Forgotten beasts, !!FUN!!, or Child Training Programs.
Hey, my buddy Krieger's got some cool breath-strips he wants you to try... or some tea if you prefer.
heavy cav. recon by fire.Killer confectionary is one of my specialties.
Ricin red bean mochi is another fine choice, but most western children are put off by the bland rice dough, and unique texture of the red bean jam.
My years in various hives of scum and villainy on the 'Tubes must have really messed up my instinctive horror response as while I still fear to ask how you know so much on this particular subject the fact that you do isn't particularly disturbing beyond that. Almost makes me worry.
/Back to the Topic!
RAKninja: If I get you a good crossbow you wanna ride one of my elephants? If you prefer a recon role I could try and 'persuade' the next batch of elves to donate a Giant Cheetah/Jaguar for your use instead.
elephant is a bit too heavy though. would be a tank analog. i dont use tanks, i used a bradly fighting vehicle. something like a tank, but also an armored personal carrier. infantry uses the same thing, but they have the cargo bay modded out to carry a squad of troops. we cav boys had room in the back for two, the rest was taken up with extra 25mm, 7.62mm ammo and something like 8 or 10 missiles.
so, how bout a rhino? failing that, i guess a giant jaguar works.RAKninja - you're captain of the guard, which I normally send into battle along with the squad, so therefore, you're a soldier. You also have a smallarmysquad at your disposal (disposal might be a poor choice of words). As to computer repair, I fear that the secrets of computer technology would soon be lost... that kind of thing requires the proper tools to create the proper tools to create the integrated circuits, and we don't have the proper tools, or the proper tools to create the other proper tools.
ah, you use the fortress guard different than i do. i use it as a police force, and a training unit, where wounded veterans who are not "combat effective" anymore can pass on their skills to raw recruits, save for the CoG himself, a permanent fixture.
not having fought with my fortress guard much, i assume military orders take precedence over jailing jobs? would suck if i were advancing on the siege, ready to take it down singlehandedly.... then i mosey back into the fort to throw urist mctantrumpants in jail because he broke a mason's workshop and hit catten mcchild in the head with a x pig tail fiber shoe x.Might need to make due with rope reeds man. I dunno if there's any hemp here.what do you think rope reed is?
A Rhino is fine too. While I was somewhat familiar with the Bradley I did not know there were different loadouts/configurations (does make sense though). How about this then: present a main line of elephant riders, and when the enemy comes in to strike flank them with rhinos from the side(s) depending on terrain? Or use rhinos to chase unmounted units into elephant groups?
And if what you say about rope reed fiber is true, pay no attention to the jams coming from my side-plot >.>
'Also, was that just a hasty segueorand athinly-veiledthreat?' work better for you?
That sounds about right.KodKod, you're a mason/animal trainer, given these jobs for your desire to build your own torturehouse, and of course how you're the Scorpion Queen. You need a way to tame those scorpions, right? So they don't kill us all? (not that you'd mind)
This is... acceptable. Indoctrinated war animals are all the rage.
If there's room for more than one trainer, I'll take the big beasts and she can have the venomous ones. Until one of us figures out how to get a GCS/GDS on an elephant without it killing the wrong target at least.
Post by: Talvieno on April 09, 2012, 11:48:50 pm
What skills? Your most useful ones (to us) are hunting, fishing, animal training, and butchery. Not so much cooking - most of us can cook, to some extent. Also a surprising number of us have a good idea of how to brew. :PWow, this thread is moving fast. :o RAKninja - you're captain of the guard, which I normally send into battle along with the squad, so therefore, you're a soldier. You also have a smallarmysquad at your disposal (disposal might be a poor choice of words). As to computer repair, I fear that the secrets of computer technology would soon be lost... that kind of thing requires the proper tools to create the proper tools to create the integrated circuits, and we don't have the proper tools, or the proper tools to create the other proper tools.
Corai - +1 to you for reading Spearbreakers. :D
Wierd, if Toady ever puts alchemy back in the game (which I imagine is analogous to phytochemistry), you'll probably be one of the best among us.
KodKod, you're a mason/animal trainer, given these jobs for your desire to build your own torturehouse, and of course how you're the Scorpion Queen. You need a way to tame those scorpions, right? So they don't kill us all? (not that you'd mind)
Metalhead, welcome to The Twelfth Bay. I'm your miner, as Eric Blank apparently signed off for bowyer duty, so just point at the wall somewhere and I'll carve you a room. I've done plenty of digging in "real life", so.
Question: Our clothes are going to wear out at some point. What do we do??
Thanks, just carve a random chunk out anywhere for me. Which of my talents do we need the most right now? I can also perform engineering- and mechanical-related work as well if needed as well as previously mentioned. If my role will be of a more wildlife-related one, what biome are we camped out in and what's been spotted so far above- and below-ground?
(Sorry I just found the thread a bit ago and haven't had the chance to read if this has been described somewhere already. Think of me as a moderately-skilled and versatile migrant looking for the first task I can do... and don't tell Kodkod I'm new or I'll probably be her next 'customer' :o)
We don't really need any more engineers (though it does help with setting up traps) - read the writeup I'm doing (link in my sig). We're camped in a temperate jungle, I guess you might say, on a mountain bordering a brook. We've found small patches of limonite (good for iron) and the whole mountain is composed largely of dolomite, so we'll be able to make steel. We've found small patches of gems here and there - largely lapis lazuli, for some reason.
Aboveground? Giant wolverines and giant keas. Our land is far, far from being tame. We face some of the fiercest creatures alive. :D I hope you enjoy taming those.
But this is just the story I'm making. It's not official. Officially, where we land is up for debate, as to what would happen.
edit: It's more of a story/simulation.
Post by: Splint on April 09, 2012, 11:53:42 pm
Plus we have dwarves to back us up, shorter angrier versions of mankind. Always a plus.
Post by: Mr Frog on April 09, 2012, 11:56:09 pm
Post by: RAKninja on April 09, 2012, 11:57:02 pm
A Rhino is fine too. While I was somewhat familiar with the Bradley I did not know there were different loadouts/configurations (does make sense though). How about this then: present a main line of elephant riders, and when the enemy comes in to strike flank them with rhinos from the side(s) depending on terrain? Or use rhinos to chase unmounted units into elephant groups?
And if what you say about rope reed fiber is true, pay no attention to the jams coming from my side-plot >.>
yea, there are a few configs, the three main being infantry, cavalry, and then the air defense artillary. theirs is just like our, it just has a few more spiffy rangefinding gizmos.
as for battle tactics, that would be a good lowtech approximation of how it works. well, historical i should say. what would be closer to how we operate would be using the rhinos as skirmishers, using them to suck the enemy in to committing itself, at that point the elephants engage and rhinos disengage.
bonus points if you can get a good observer flyer with light attack capabilities to emulate a kiowa observation helicopter.
Post by: urick on April 10, 2012, 12:02:59 am
Post by: Talvieno on April 10, 2012, 12:05:11 am
I have no idea what's going on, but whatever it is I wanna play.
Click the top link in my sig. Also, what DF skills do you have in real life?
Splint - it just sounds cooler to say "fiercest creatures alive". I have a feeling the most formidable are probably giant sponges, and giant sperm whales are probably the fiercest - unless you want Holistic Spawn. Or manamaids. Or scythod.
...carp, we have all three of those.
Post by: MetalHead on April 10, 2012, 12:07:35 am
Aboveground? Giant wolverines and giant keas. Our land is far, far from being tame. We face some of the fiercest creatures alive. :D I hope you enjoy taming those.
Giant... wolverines?!?!?!
Fuck the elephants, I want some of THOSE.
If we are lacking armor/weaponsmiths and forgeworkers I will happily balance my efforts between trying not to lose random limbs and searing my eyebrows off just so I can make an army of steel-clad wolverines the size of VW buses (lol I wish). I'll focus on the training and food procurement. Is part of the brook within the main curtain wall or do I need to venture outside for it, and is there any non-giant game you would want me to hunt first?
A Rhino is fine too. While I was somewhat familiar with the Bradley I did not know there were different loadouts/configurations (does make sense though). How about this then: present a main line of elephant riders, and when the enemy comes in to strike flank them with rhinos from the side(s) depending on terrain? Or use rhinos to chase unmounted units into elephant groups?
And if what you say about rope reed fiber is true, pay no attention to the jams coming from my side-plot >.>
yea, there are a few configs, the three main being infantry, cavalry, and then the air defense artillary. theirs is just like our, it just has a few more spiffy rangefinding gizmos.
as for battle tactics, that would be a good lowtech approximation of how it works. well, historical i should say. what would be closer to how we operate would be using the rhinos as skirmishers, using them to suck the enemy in to committing itself, at that point the elephants engage and rhinos disengage.
bonus points if you can get a good observer flyer with light attack capabilities to emulate a kiowa observation helicopter.
If we can find some Giant Cave Swallows downstairs and someone brave enough to ride one I'm pretty sure that'd be manageable. Now if only catapults actually lobbed over walls we could have easy artillery support as well assuming their aim was halfway accurate.
Post by: Splint on April 10, 2012, 12:23:55 am
Post by: Talvieno on April 10, 2012, 12:29:24 am
I hesitate to post this, but.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Also, I'm working on part 3.
Splint: Assembling medieval artillery is easy - I could easily draw schematics. :P I'm sure some of us know how to make basic firearms. The advantage of gunpowder would have us in far better shape than any elves or goblins that came our way. Megabeasts wouldn't stand a chance, either, once we got set up.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 10, 2012, 12:34:41 am
Post by: MetalHead on April 10, 2012, 12:36:24 am
Given none of us probably know how to use medival artillary or even how to assemble them, the aim would probably be atrocious at first.
Fair enough, which is why we practice first.
Also, from the previous reports I learned we have giant eagles and keas (had no idea what they were before) that might also serve for your recon mounts RAK. However, the latest report on fort progress was less-than-optimistic so I don't know if we're going to have much of a chance to develop military doctrine and strategy for the fort's defence just yet.
Post-Interrupt (thanks to Talvieno): I was just going to ask for entry layout for potential ideas later (yours first, as it kinda is your fort). However I'm not sure what you meant by 'I hate to post this, but.' Is the fort full, did I die already, or what?
Post by: Splint on April 10, 2012, 12:40:47 am
Post by: Talvieno on April 10, 2012, 12:47:43 am
Post-Interrupt (thanks to Talvieno): I was just going to ask for entry layout for potential ideas later (yours first, as it kinda is your fort). However I'm not sure what you meant by 'I hate to post this, but.' Is the fort full, did I die already, or what?No, it's just that: 1. My fort isn't "official" (nobody has said anything anywhere near to that, lol), and posting a pic makes it seem like it, 2. It's a raw spoilerite image, as that's from after the next writeup, 3. I get the feeling the layout is easily criticized. But, if people criticize it, they'll propose changes, and since this is kind of a "community fortress" (to the full extent of the phrase), I'll make changes anyone proposes. Also, if you demand rooms, I'll carve them out, but be aware it'll slow down development elsewhere. :P
Post by: Mr Frog on April 10, 2012, 12:47:43 am
Post by: WillowLuman on April 10, 2012, 12:49:51 am
Post by: Splint on April 10, 2012, 12:50:25 am
Post by: MetalHead on April 10, 2012, 12:55:53 am
Post-Interrupt (thanks to Talvieno): I was just going to ask for entry layout for potential ideas later (yours first, as it kinda is your fort). However I'm not sure what you meant by 'I hate to post this, but.' Is the fort full, did I die already, or what?No, it's just that: 1. My fort isn't "official" (nobody has said anything anywhere near to that, lol), and posting a pic makes it seem like it, 2. It's a raw spoilerite image, as that's from after the next writeup, 3. I get the feeling the layout is easily criticized. But, if people criticize it, they'll propose changes, and since this is kind of a "community fortress" (to the full extent of the phrase), I'll make changes anyone proposes. Also, if you demand rooms, I'll carve them out, but be aware it'll slow down development elsewhere. :P
Works for me. I'll wait until your next update before I suggest anything, and if the room thing's a hassle right now then no worries. However as you are the one who went through the trouble of founding and running a fortress for the sake of this thread to the extent of 'exploiting' the game for 50+ starting individuals I would say that your fort might as well be THE fort for this thread (unless you really can't/don't want to run it) and then maybe run it as an LP thread. He who goes the extra mile often winds up carrying his lazier comrades the same distance after all.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 10, 2012, 12:59:05 am
Post by: Talvieno on April 10, 2012, 01:00:25 am
I just want to set up a huge perpetual-motion aquifer-powered hydro-electric generator, so we can zap things and the dwarves, elves, and native humans can go "what sorcery is this!?"I lol'd. Loudly. We must do this.
That's an umm... interesting setup we've got there on the for entrance.It's triple-layered, I only spent half a year on it, and it needs a lot of work. It was done by the time the goblins arrived. Part 1 is over the passage next to the ramp - a little room to stand in and shoot people from. Part 2 is obviously the traps. (They're largely unfinished, and they'll go a lot farther down the passage. This isn't how I usually build forts, but I don't want anyone to die, if I can at all help it.) Part 3 is the bridge. When the sentry in the room above the passage alerts everyone, we have enough time to close the bridge, and the foolish enemies still get pounded by cage traps and rocks. If you'd like to make suggestions, I'd be more than happy to implement them.
I'd say lump programming in with engineering for simplicity's sake.Yep... spearbreakers is about mugs... this fort is about mechanisms. Thousands upon thousands of mechanisms, because we're all mechanically minded. It probably wouldn't be too too long before we designed gas-powered vehicles, if we ever found oil.
Post by: Splint on April 10, 2012, 01:05:51 am
* A set of mechanisms on a polearm/wooden or metal stick that rip[ apart flesh and most armors if possible.
** ANyone who hasn't wanted these in DF is undorfy.
Post by: Talvieno on April 10, 2012, 01:10:51 am
Damn, I wish we'd thought of the grindaxe* and shuriken mechanisms** before this thread started.Nah, none of the spearbreakers custom weapons you and I designed were in the folder I accidentally used, just our modded civs. You won't be seeing any of the mughammers/mugrifles/railguns/serrated disc launchers etc. etc. And I think I'm going to mod it in so that the modded races explode upon entering the map, so I don't have to worry about people criticizing the unvanilla creatures. They weren't supposed to be there anyway.
* A set of mechanisms on a polearm/wooden or metal stick that rip[ apart flesh and most armors if possible.
** ANyone who hasn't wanted these in DF is undorfy.
Post by: MetalHead on April 10, 2012, 01:14:16 am
I just want to set up a huge perpetual-motion aquifer-powered hydro-electric generator, so we can zap things and the dwarves, elves, and native humans can go "what sorcery is this!?"I lol'd. Loudly. We must do this.That's an umm... interesting setup we've got there on the for entrance.It's triple-layered, I only spent half a year on it, and it needs a lot of work. It was done by the time the goblins arrived. Part 1 is over the passage next to the ramp - a little room to stand in and shoot people from. Part 2 is obviously the traps. (They're largely unfinished, and they'll go a lot farther down the passage. This isn't how I usually build forts, but I don't want anyone to die, if I can at all help it.) Part 3 is the bridge. When the sentry in the room above the passage alerts everyone, we have enough time to close the bridge, and the foolish enemies still get pounded by cage traps and rocks. If you'd like to make suggestions, I'd be more than happy to implement them.I'd say lump programming in with engineering for simplicity's sake.Yep... spearbreakers is about mugs... this fort is about mechanisms. Thousands upon thousands of mechanisms, because we're all mechanically minded. It probably wouldn't be too too long before we designed gas-powered vehicles, if we ever found oil.
Shhh! Don't say that too loud, or the
My only suggestion right now depends on the state of our forges and smithies. Do we have an active iron/steelworks yet, using charcoal, coke or magma? If we have weapons-grade metal ores available and the facilities to process and shape it we should replace some (read: as many as we can) of those stone-fall traps with serrated blade-traps. If silver is present add spiked balls to the mix using it. Stone falls do hardly anything even to unarmored targets, and there aren't enough cages there to hold off more than a single squad of ambushers (unless some are discolored by blood there).
If you have some metal but not enough for weapon-trap construction or if you have surplus wood possibly add an extra few layers of cages until the forges are burning hot and we have plenty of metal to work with.
Post by: Splint on April 10, 2012, 01:21:43 am
You bastards better not make this thread go more than a couple pages! I gotta sleep due to that pesky real life and I don't wanna be behind too badly.
(this hope is clearly on poor grounds. It'll probably explode to like 6 more pages by the time I get home.)
Post by: wierd on April 10, 2012, 01:25:14 am
I just want to set up a huge perpetual-motion aquifer-powered hydro-electric generator, so we can zap things and the dwarves, elves, and native humans can go "what sorcery is this!?"
As a glassmaker/engineer, I had better *NOT* get mandates for "clear glass vacuum tube" x500, or "somebody" will be receiving a candygram from the grim reaper.
Post by: Mr Frog on April 10, 2012, 01:25:40 am
Just suck it up and use the mods. What could be more !!FUN!! than accidentally the whole raw folder and unleashing hordes of dwarf-eating sins-against-nature and burlesque-dancing manatees upon an innocent community fort?
Post by: MetalHead on April 10, 2012, 01:52:38 am
@Talvieno:
Just suck it up and use the mods. What could be more !!FUN!! than accidentally the whole raw folder and unleashing hordes of dwarf-eating sins-against-nature and burlesque-dancing manatees upon an innocent community fort?
Sins against nature we can deal with.
Obese women pole-dancing however is grounds for death through painful dismemberment.
Report to KodKod for your punishment. I'm sure she will enjoy tormenting a sentient being for a change.
(Yes, I know someone's going to flame me for saying it, but someone had to. I'm crawling back under my rock now.)
Post by: mnjiman on April 10, 2012, 02:45:10 am
Kenpoaj cancels Play Dwarf Fortress: Dwarf Fortress is reality.
Kenpoaj has gone stark raving mad!
Most likely this.
Post by: Talvieno on April 10, 2012, 02:51:32 am
@Talvieno:
Just suck it up and use the mods. What could be more !!FUN!! than accidentally the whole raw folder and unleashing hordes of dwarf-eating sins-against-nature and burlesque-dancing manatees upon an innocent community fort?
Sins against nature we can deal with.
Obese women pole-dancing however is grounds for death through painful dismemberment.
Report to KodKod for your punishment. I'm sure she will enjoy tormenting a sentient being for a change.
(Yes, I know someone's going to flame me for saying it, but someone had to. I'm crawling back under my rock now.)
To be very, very explanatory... Manamaids are creatures resembling a hideous cross between manatees, and mermaids. (in the raws, they're basically walruses with the arms and head of a human - tweaked a little bit to make them more like manatees.) They have a special attack where... eh, I'll spoiler it.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I really don't want to release them against our fortress... :P I think they're allies, though, so they would come about the same time as the humans.
Post by: Talvieno on April 10, 2012, 02:52:40 am
For clarity's sake: This post is a continuation of the last journal entry, as I played through all of this and the previous in the same sitting.
You stand back from the wall, mulling over the events in your mind. The fortress of The Twelfth Bay had been renowned... yet the mystery behind the sudden deaths or disappearance of its inhabitants puzzled the outside world. It was part of why you're here - to learn what happened. ...But also the loot.
You heft your heavy backpack from your shoulder, removing your journal and taking a quick note, and then continue downwards towards the end of the gently-sloping passage, stepping carefully over the images of dwarves and mountain titans, humans with outlandish clothing, all but dimly visible in the flickering torchlight. You can still pick out engravings of laptops and powered vehicles, but as you progress farther along, these become slightly scarcer. You're suddenly startled out of your musings by Tunneeti - your maceman. He calls to you from behind, saying he's found something, and you turn, following the echoes of your friend.
He stands within a side passage beside a yellow orthoclase wall, upon which are engraved airplanes and submarines in masterful detail. Looking slightly farther, you see what he had called you for - another journal entry from the miner. You thank Tunneeti, setting your lamp down upon a nearby stone table, and begin to read.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Part4>> (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=106539.msg3187525#msg3187525)
Post by: Splint on April 10, 2012, 03:26:16 am
I vote we kill the elves. The more used to the sight of gore and carrying it out we are, the better off we'll be.
Post by: Garath on April 10, 2012, 03:37:10 am
novice kicked
novice dodger
profesional observer
(played a lot of soccer, noted more for insight than skill)
adequate siege engineer
adequate carpenter and wood cutter
(made a scorpio (R:TW reference) and some other stuff for a hobby, not very effective considering the limited materials)
skilled farming
talented brewer
novice mechanic
dabbling fisher
Post by: Sus on April 10, 2012, 06:09:09 am
Yum, gimme!I never said what I was good at, oh my!
I am a superb digger, but since im a kobold....just have me askodkodsomeone's servant. Burrow me in there room with food and water.
I can make you some delicious candy! Perhaps puff pastry with woodrose extract? (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawaiian_baby_woodrose)
I garantee no two will ever be quite alike!
...
Man, this is some delicious pastry!
'Sus' Dogpulley, Mad Tinkerer cancels Sleep: Taken by Mood.
'Sus' Dogpulley, Mad Tinkerer has become possessed!
Post by: Rowanas on April 10, 2012, 06:13:29 am
First order of business, take my own life.
Post by: Splint on April 10, 2012, 06:28:29 am
Well, I've run a fort, I know what it's like to live there.
First order of business, take my own life.
my wouldn't you just be so optomistic to be around in this situation.
Oh and Talvieno, you and I both know my choice of words in my volunteering to be jerkoff of all trades would have been vastly more offencive. did you censor me for the good of those around you?
Post by: wierd on April 10, 2012, 07:18:51 am
It would give the jeweler migrants something to do. Ferrite beads being very similar to cabochons, and made of iron ore, like hematite.
("The more you know!", little star flies overhead...)
ferrite beads (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferrite_bead)
core memory (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Core_memory)
vacuum tube (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vacuum_tube)
triode (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triode)
crookes tube (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crookes_tube)
cathode ray tube (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cathode_ray_tube)
For powered vehicles....
Lead acid batteries are absurdly simple, and hardy. In the simplest form, they consist of 2 lead plates submerged in sulfuric acid. One of the plates needs to be highly oxidized first.
Commercial batteries have several sets of plates wired in parallel to give the "cranking amps" needed to drive high torque starter motors on internal combustion engines. However, a sufficient number of them in parallel will give you high DC voltage, which can be used to drive an EV's high efficiency DC motor, if you don't mind the extra weight. They are the simplest and easiest rechargable battery chemistry to make, (and I don't know about you, but I refuse to mix the reagents needed to make nickel-cadmium chemistry.)
For genuine internal combustion engines, a sand-cast engine block milled out with a manual electric milling machine can be made to run on gassified fuel stock. Just about any organic substance can be turned into "syngas", using an appropriate reactor. However, the equipment needed to make syngas doesn't play well with goblin siegers, and would be very dangerous to keep below ground.
Using refrigeration tech, it would make a great means of eliminating all the thermal waste of the thermionic valve based computer....
syngas (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Syngas)
It could concievably be routed through pipes for murderhole flamethrowers with an electric spark gap igniter.... but since carbon monoxide is a primary component, I would be loathe to use it, or route pipes carrying it through or inside the fortress. Very much a "do this above ground" enterprise.
Post by: JJtoocool on April 10, 2012, 07:19:54 am
I would then put the entire continent the fortress was on in a physics breaking quantum cage trap.
But that's no Fun, so...
Skills:
Adequate Crossbowdwarf(?) Firearms experience, limited to handguns, but oh well...
Dabbling Archer Shot a replica English Longbow at a Renascence Fair once.
Novice Hammerdwarf Was given a small sledge hammer as a joke (Some people think that a Zombie Apocalypse could never happen, BAH! Ill teach em') it was a couple weeks before I stopped playing around and hitting cardboard boxes a few minutes every night. t'was
Beyond that... I guess you could call me a Competent Metalsmith. Never even attempted weapons or armor, but I can make tools pretty well. A dagger or sword would be barely functional, but I could probably manage to figure it out.
Post by: Oliolli on April 10, 2012, 08:06:05 am
(...was that a Hitchhiker's Guide -reference? I'm quite certain there's somthing like that in there.)
Natch. I love the Hitchhiker's Guide.
In fact I think you might have been the one who caught the last reference I made to it, too.
I wouldn't be surprised. I finished re-reading the pentalogy last week.
If we can find some Giant Cave Swallows downstairs and someone brave enough to ride one I'm pretty sure that'd be manageable.
If no-one else does it, I'll volunteer...
I'm sure some of us know how to make basic firearms. The advantage of gunpowder would have us in far better shape than any elves or goblins that came our way.
And quite a few (me included) would know how to make gunpowder, or at least some prmitive version of it.
Post by: wierd on April 10, 2012, 08:28:36 am
But I don't know about breaking a giant man-eating bird to ride.
(Significantly farther to fall when shook off... and I'm getting old.)
Post by: Oliolli on April 10, 2012, 09:02:37 am
Post by: KodKod on April 10, 2012, 09:13:08 am
I'm sure she will enjoy tormenting a sentient being for a change.
"A change"? Oh my, no.
-snip-
...And even in a game of dwarf fortress Oliolli insists on aggravating me. Revenge!
Post by: Silverbit on April 10, 2012, 10:08:43 am
I volunteer!
Expert Woodcutter
Expert Wood Burner
(wood burning stove operator)
Competent Animal Trainer (If controlling two ferrets counts)
Competant Crossbow/Bowman (can generally hit targets with a bow)
Competant Swordsman (can fence pretty well ,but would probably be useless with a normal sword)
Post by: Talvieno on April 10, 2012, 10:19:32 am
Oh and Talvieno, you and I both know my choice of words in my volunteering to be jerkoff of all trades would have been vastly more offencive. did you censor me for the good of those around you?Lmao :P Yes.
While that might be possible in theory, Wierd, I can assure you that it would be absolutely impossible within any of our lifetimes. I have what might be considered "competent computer electronics" - you know, integrated circuits, transistors, capacitors, diodes, etc. Vacuum tubes are bad for two real reasons.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
1. They're huge. The average computer these days contains well over two and a half billion transistors. Transistors can now be made to be microscopic in size - you can contain tens of thousands within even the smallest integrated circuits (aka computer chips). Assuming we could make vacuum tubes that were 2.5cm by 10cm(one inch by four inches) in size, to create a computer out of vacuum tubes that could match even the one you're sitting at right now, we would need - at minimum (if we never plan on replacing any that go out) - a room 150 meters(450 feet) in height, and 38 meters(115 feet) in width/length. That's around 216,000 cubic meters(six million cubic feet), and if built in DF would be approximately 45 z-levels tall. If we want to be more realistic, with room for us to walk among them, and only tall enough for us to reach, the room would need to be at least 360 meters by 11400 meters(950 feet by 34,200 feet) in size - basically 0.3km by 10.5km(0.2 miles by 6.5 miles). This would be the DF equivalent of a 1-z room that was 95 tiles by 3420 tiles - or, to put it more to scale, a 2 by 69 embark, completely hollowed out on one z-level.
2. They consume far more energy than they put out. Powering so many vacuum tubes would take more energy than we could possibly generate - more than I want to do the math for. (partially also because that's not one of my strong points, and I don't know the exact numbers.)
Oh, and did I mention they're a lot slower than transistors?
Basically, while possible in theory, it would be completely impractical.
JJtoocool, Silverbit - welcome to the madness. :D Avoid KodKod, and try not to drink all the beer. :P
Splint, Oliolli, thanks. :) Glad you guys liked it. I honestly think my story quality is degrading.
So now a couple questions. 1. Should I continue with the story/simulation, and 2. If I do, what do we do about the elves, given our current state? (about 200 food, 100 drink)
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 10, 2012, 10:29:51 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Did we just invent religion?Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Ah nevermind, we invented the necronomicon.
Post by: KodKod on April 10, 2012, 10:39:34 am
So now a couple questions. 1. Should I continue with the story/simulation, and 2. If I do, what do we do about the elves, given our current state? (about 200 food, 100 drink)
Trade them for their goods so that we've got a bit more food and boozeahol to keep us going, but build a retractable bridge with a 1 level drop to cage traps underneath in order to stun and capture them.
Set a couple up in the dining room for morale, so that we can all get happy thoughts from seeing caged animals. Then find the prettiest elf maiden and install her in my room, I want to break her (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BreakTheCutie).
Post by: Oliolli on April 10, 2012, 10:41:28 am
...And even in a game of dwarf fortress Oliolli insists on aggravating me. Revenge!
left eye
middle eye
right eye
left eye tooth
right eye tooth
...dammit Talvieno...
You know, I got this haunting feeling that eventually our characters in the game will get married... no idea why...
So now a couple questions. 1. Should I continue with the story/simulation, and 2. If I do, what do we do about the elves, given our current state? (about 200 food, 100 drink)
1. Yes.
2. Let them into the depot, then deconstruct the depot. Then what KodKod said.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 10, 2012, 11:00:38 am
-snip-
On the topic of Elves... No diplomat = Kill caravan please
Post by: KodKod on April 10, 2012, 11:17:35 am
You know, I got this haunting feeling that eventually our characters in the game will get married... no idea why...
How dead would you like to be, Mister Oliolli? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBIdcUxdgo0)
Post by: Talvieno on April 10, 2012, 11:27:15 am
This might be a good time to mention that in the game, our dwarves actually don't match our genders. :-\ I couldn't exactly choose who got which gender, and for the great majority of everyone I didn't actually know the gender. If there's an external program that can genderswap and reset lovers, that would be somewhat useful, but as far as romance goes, I'll be adding that into the story manually, and I'm very open as to suggestions....And even in a game of dwarf fortress Oliolli insists on aggravating me. Revenge!You know, I got this haunting feeling that eventually our characters in the game will get married... no idea why...
With the exception of Girlinhat and Saltmummy. That was luck.
Post by: KodKod on April 10, 2012, 11:35:41 am
as far as romance goes, I'll be adding that into the story manually, and I'm very open as to suggestions.
Whatever you do, keep me away from any romance. I've got more important things to do, like inflicting a world of pain on that pretty pampered princess prisoner I want.
Post by: Oliolli on April 10, 2012, 11:45:39 am
Post by: wierd on April 10, 2012, 12:24:04 pm
Oh and Talvieno, you and I both know my choice of words in my volunteering to be jerkoff of all trades would have been vastly more offencive. did you censor me for the good of those around you?Lmao :P Yes.While that might be possible in theory, Wierd, I can assure you that it would be absolutely impossible within any of our lifetimes. I have what might be considered "competent computer electronics" - you know, integrated circuits, transistors, capacitors, diodes, etc. Vacuum tubes are bad for two real reasons.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
1. They're huge. The average computer these days contains well over two and a half billion transistors. Transistors can now be made to be microscopic in size - you can contain tens of thousands within even the smallest integrated circuits (aka computer chips). Assuming we could make vacuum tubes that were 2.5cm by 10cm(one inch by four inches) in size, to create a computer out of vacuum tubes that could match even the one you're sitting at right now, we would need - at minimum (if we never plan on replacing any that go out) - a room 150 meters(450 feet) in height, and 38 meters(115 feet) in width/length. That's around 216,000 cubic meters(six million cubic feet), and if built in DF would be approximately 45 z-levels tall. If we want to be more realistic, with room for us to walk among them, and only tall enough for us to reach, the room would need to be at least 360 meters by 11400 meters(950 feet by 34,200 feet) in size - basically 0.3km by 10.5km(0.2 miles by 6.5 miles). This would be the DF equivalent of a 1-z room that was 95 tiles by 3420 tiles - or, to put it more to scale, a 2 by 69 embark, completely hollowed out on one z-level.
2. They consume far more energy than they put out. Powering so many vacuum tubes would take more energy than we could possibly generate - more than I want to do the math for. (partially also because that's not one of my strong points, and I don't know the exact numbers.)
Oh, and did I mention they're a lot slower than transistors?
Basically, while possible in theory, it would be completely impractical.
JJtoocool, Silverbit - welcome to the madness. :D Avoid KodKod, and try not to drink all the beer. :P
Splint, Oliolli, thanks. :) Glad you guys liked it. I honestly think my story quality is degrading.
So now a couple questions. 1. Should I continue with the story/simulation, and 2. If I do, what do we do about the elves, given our current state? (about 200 food, 100 drink)
Oh, I know they are about 10,000% larger than a transistor. I know they gobble down juice.
The real use I had in mind was for them to control a simple 2.5 axis lithography aparatus. For this a large 8 bit valve based computer running with paper tape would be sufficient. A large gas laser, a vacuum chamber, some photolithography dopants, and some home-made sapphire wafers, and we have the whole computer revolution in 2-3 years, instead of 30.
With electricity, the production of said sapphire wafers is possible. I somehow doubt that our fortress will need a fullscale batch processing setup for large economies where silicon shines. We could probably get an intel 4004 equivalent cooked up that way pretty reliably. IIRC, it was initially designed by hand with a table-sized master that was hand-scribed and etched. It only has 2.5k transistors.
A single production run of 4004's in the hobby lithograph tank would be enough to completely scrap the valve based system. The paper tape would probably have to stick around awhile though.
Post by: Garath on April 10, 2012, 12:31:02 pm
Post by: exolyx on April 10, 2012, 01:05:46 pm
Post by: HmH on April 10, 2012, 01:21:34 pm
Like KodKod said, but lock the hippies in the cage trap-filled room to begin with and beat them with crossbows until they pass out.
This way, we'll have raving hippies in cages, subdued in the one true Conservative manner: merciless beating with sticks.
Oh, by the way, if the female goes stark raving mad, release her to wander the fortress. That sort of crazy has a peculiar tendency to drop their clothing piece by piece as they walk, and having elven strippers is always good for morale.
Anyway, a more detailed character sheet for me:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Eric Blank on April 10, 2012, 02:34:26 pm
Oh, by the way, if the female goes stark raving mad, release her to wander the fortress. That sort of crazy has a peculiar tendency to drop their clothing piece by piece as they walk, and having elven strippers is always good for morale.
I second this motion.
Post by: JJtoocool on April 10, 2012, 02:51:53 pm
Also, If you can get my dwarf to carry multiple sheilds + hammer/crossbow, that would be great.
Basically, while possible in theory, it would be completely impractical.Why has construction not been initiated?
Post by: wierd on April 10, 2012, 03:12:34 pm
Also, as the trained computer scientist, talvieno would be the poor schmuck punching hollerith cards/paper tape all day. As the story's author, I think he is refusing to permit himself that indignity, and I can't say I blame him. :)
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 10, 2012, 03:15:51 pm
Spoiler: ACTUAL DF SPOILERS (click to show/hide)
Post by: Kaleb702 Games on April 10, 2012, 03:16:38 pm
Just don't find a way to make neurotoxin.
Post by: wierd on April 10, 2012, 03:21:18 pm
phosgene (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phosgene)
*whistles*
Post by: Talvieno on April 10, 2012, 04:46:52 pm
Oliolli, KodKod - neither of you will get romanced by anyone, let me assure you. Unless something bad* happens.
Garath - I seriously, seriously hope you aren't serious about that. :| I'm trying to keep tantrum spirals from happening. :P
Wierd, nobody would give you the x500 triode order. You'd be making 2.5 billion or none at all. It's just not the Bay12 way.
Kaleb702 - KodKod is going to be breeding giant scorpions. I'm sure you'll find a way to utilize that. ;)
*Fun
Post by: Gizogin on April 10, 2012, 04:51:55 pm
Post by: wierd on April 10, 2012, 05:29:31 pm
Contained in this package are (2, male) elven prisoners (of ambiguous sexual orientation)!
When captured, the prisoners were (in posession of 'wooden scepters' of assorted sizes, and ropereed dresses while) attempting to trade (an assortment of loincloths and female clothing) at the trade depot!
We look forward to the results of you scientific experiments!
Signed, 12th bay scientific resourcing and development comittee
Post by: wierd on April 10, 2012, 05:30:35 pm
Contained in this package are (2, male) elven prisoners (of ambiguous sexual orientation)!
When captured, the prisoners were (in posession of 'wooden scepters' of assorted sizes, and ropereed dresses while) attempting to trade (an assortment of loincloths and female clothing) at the trade depot!
We look forward to the results of you scientific experiments!
Signed, 12th bay scientific resourcing and development comittee
Post by: Garath on April 10, 2012, 05:40:25 pm
Garath - I seriously, seriously hope you aren't serious about that. :| I'm trying to keep tantrum spirals from happening. :P
nah, but it was a fun contrast with the last few who wanted nothing more than to be sociopaths ;D
Though seriously, If "me" can spend his time just helping out at the farm and brewing as needed, rest of the time chilling out drinking his own brews and talking to people, fine with me.
Post by: wierd on April 10, 2012, 05:47:54 pm
After eating a sugar roasted almond.
My job here is done. :)
Post by: Gizogin on April 10, 2012, 05:54:09 pm
Your request for "two elven test subjects" as been granted!
Contained in this package are (2, male) elven prisoners (of ambiguous sexual orientation)!
When captured, the prisoners were (in posession of 'wooden scepters' of assorted sizes, and ropereed dresses while) attempting to trade (an assortment of loincloths and female clothing) at the trade depot!
We look forward to the results of you scientific experiments!
Signed, 12th bay scientific resourcing and development comittee
Why, they're perfect! Just set them (in separate cages) in one of the operating theaters. You'll have to wait for a bit while I clear out all these cats, though.
Speaking of which, my experimentation on the cats has produced some useful data about feline reproduction: dead cats don't breed. While obvious in hindsight, I only stumbled upon this discovery after one of the cats to which I was welding a large metal box expired. Anyway, a few cats did manage to survive the operation, and will now keep their litters contained. Should anyone want to remove the kittens for any reason, I put a small hatch into the kitten-boxes. Be advised, however, that you may have to dislocate/break several of the kitten's bones in order to remove it. Apparently, I overestimated the flexibility of newborn cats.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 10, 2012, 06:31:55 pm
Also, after wading through the clowns and zombies, one of the Dwarfy-Avatars finally reached the bottom of the castle (after 88 clowns, two more avatars lost to insanity and who knows how many dead zombies, they keep getting back up), this apparently triggered the second wave...
Spoiler: MASSIVE SPOILER (click to show/hide)
Post by: Eric Blank on April 10, 2012, 06:50:36 pm
Your request for "two elven test subjects" as been granted!
Contained in this package are (2, male) elven prisoners (of ambiguous sexual orientation)!
When captured, the prisoners were (in posession of 'wooden scepters' of assorted sizes, and ropereed dresses while) attempting to trade (an assortment of loincloths and female clothing) at the trade depot!
We look forward to the results of you scientific experiments!
Signed, 12th bay scientific resourcing and development comittee
Why, they're perfect! Just set them (in separate cages) in one of the operating theaters. You'll have to wait for a bit while I clear out all these cats, though.
Speaking of which, my experimentation on the cats has produced some useful data about feline reproduction: dead cats don't breed. While obvious in hindsight, I only stumbled upon this discovery after one of the cats to which I was welding a large metal box expired. Anyway, a few cats did manage to survive the operation, and will now keep their litters contained. Should anyone want to remove the kittens for any reason, I put a small hatch into the kitten-boxes. Be advised, however, that you may have to dislocate/break several of the kitten's bones in order to remove it. Apparently, I overestimated the flexibility of newborn cats.
What an... interesting way to permanently damage the genitalia of a creature you do not wish to breed...
Post by: Garath on April 10, 2012, 06:59:07 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on April 10, 2012, 07:08:45 pm
I support not harming the elves! By working up good trade relations, they may one day provide us with Scorpions, after which we may !!thank!! them.
Hmm, electrical experiments are going well. Developments in cage-trap physics as discovered by Talvieno are promising. Maybe with some experimentation in that field I may be able to construct a space-time transport to escape from this place before my next regeneration... then I can get away from those kittens. Their voices. ARE. IN. MY. HEAD.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 10, 2012, 07:11:23 pm
I support not harming the elves!
Hmm, electrical experiments are going well. Developments in cage-trap physics as discovered by Talvieno are promising. Maybe with some experimentation in that field I may be able to construct a space-time transport to escape from this place before my next regeneration... then I can get away from those kittens. Their voices. ARE. IN. MY. HEAD.
I think these two statements are related.
Say, do you think the fortress needs an
I do.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 10, 2012, 07:16:22 pm
I support not harming the elves!Hmm, electrical experiments are going well. Developments in cage-trap physics as discovered by Talvieno are promising. Maybe with some experimentation in that field I may be able to construct a space-time transport to escape from this place before my next regeneration... then I can get away from those kittens. Their voices. ARE. IN. MY. HEAD.
I think these two statements are related.
Say, do you think the fortress needs anre-education centerinsane asylum?
I do.
Why, I've often said the same thing! I would be glad to run it! Those needing
*HugoLuman trails off, with a strange, knowing smile*
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 07:36:06 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on April 10, 2012, 07:39:00 pm
I VOTE WE ALLOW KOBOLDS TO GO AND LEAVE AS THEY WISH.*HugoLuman picks up some crafts, and looks at Corai with a strange smile*
Post by: Eric Blank on April 10, 2012, 07:39:17 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 10, 2012, 07:40:40 pm
I VOTE WE ALLOW KOBOLDS TO GO AND LEAVE AS THEY WISH.
Denied! Skulking vermin will be treated as such.
It's the scorpion pit with all of them.
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 07:42:44 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 10, 2012, 07:44:06 pm
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 07:45:41 pm
I vote we construct a cube (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cube_(film)), fill it with traps and see if the Kobolds can make it out
What you say? I didnt hear you.
CoraiUnki walks through three cage traps, a stone-fall trap, and a fake-floor trap
What did you say?
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 10, 2012, 07:46:32 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on April 10, 2012, 07:46:42 pm
I VOTE WE ALLOW KOBOLDS TO GO AND LEAVE AS THEY WISH.
Denied! Skulking vermin will be treated as such.
It's the scorpion pit with all of them.
We should maintain a good-sized breeding population at all times. They're not quite intelligent, but certainly easier to train than any other animals.
I vote we construct a cube (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cube_(film)), fill it with traps and see if the Kobolds can make it out
They probably would if the traps are triggered solely by pressure plates, as they would avoid them.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 10, 2012, 08:00:34 pm
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 08:02:38 pm
Kobolds have potential application as explosive weaponry. If placed in a room with two high-value gem-stones (and nothing else) which are equidistant from each other and the kobold, and impressed with the knowledge that they could only possibly steal one, the resulting physical reaction in the cerebral tissue could potentially release several gigajoules of energy.
Kobolds, before stealing, release a explosion-proof version of sweat, it activates when there about to explode by crystallizing, similar to death, but far more painful. It can be manually activated as well, you know that kobold you thought you killed? He was faking! Heheheheheeh.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 10, 2012, 08:04:39 pm
Kobolds have potential application as explosive weaponry. If placed in a room with two high-value gem-stones (and nothing else) which are equidistant from each other and the kobold, and impressed with the knowledge that they could only possibly steal one, the resulting physical reaction in the cerebral tissue could potentially release several gigajoules of energy.
Kobolds, before stealing, release a explosion-proof version of sweat, it activates when there about to explode by crystallizing, similar to death, but far more painful. It can be manually activated as well, you know that kobold you thought you killed? He was faking! Heheheheheeh.
But faced with that many KiloUmms of indecision, Your Head Asplode.
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 08:07:07 pm
Kobolds have potential application as explosive weaponry. If placed in a room with two high-value gem-stones (and nothing else) which are equidistant from each other and the kobold, and impressed with the knowledge that they could only possibly steal one, the resulting physical reaction in the cerebral tissue could potentially release several gigajoules of energy.
Kobolds, before stealing, release a explosion-proof version of sweat, it activates when there about to explode by crystallizing, similar to death, but far more painful. It can be manually activated as well, you know that kobold you thought you killed? He was faking! Heheheheheeh.
But faced with that many KiloUmms of indecision, Your Head Asplode.
No, our crystals shut-down our minds, and by the time we awaken, the temptation is gone.
Plus were blind a week after because we forget to wash our hands before rubbing our eyes. Those crystals are sharp!
Post by: KodKod on April 10, 2012, 08:08:36 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on April 10, 2012, 08:14:05 pm
When did we leave Dwarf Fortress and find ourselves in Cloud Cuckoo Land?
The minute I began experimenting in buggered physics.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 10, 2012, 08:16:17 pm
When did we leave Dwarf Fortress and find ourselves in Cloud Cuckoo Land?
Yesterday when future Toady invented time travel
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 08:17:02 pm
When did we leave Dwarf Fortress and find ourselves in Cloud Cuckoo Land?
Yesterday when future Toady invented time travel
A time-travel device has been stolen!
:D
Post by: WillowLuman on April 10, 2012, 08:20:52 pm
Get back here right now! My prototype is unstable! The damage you might do could unleash the kittens!When did we leave Dwarf Fortress and find ourselves in Cloud Cuckoo Land?
Yesterday when future Toady invented time travel
A time-travel device has been stolen!
:D
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 10, 2012, 08:22:42 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on April 10, 2012, 08:41:40 pm
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 08:44:39 pm
*Phew* so it wasn't mine she thought she grabbed? Oh good. And, um, forget I mentioned that whole thing about me having such a machine.
IM A MALE-KOBOLD.
*gets a stool, stands on it, tries to slap, gets a bigger stool, tries to slap, gets a ladder, and finally slaps you*
Post by: wierd on April 10, 2012, 08:44:39 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on April 10, 2012, 08:46:00 pm
Sorry, it was just a typo. Honestly, it was.*Phew* so it wasn't mine she thought she grabbed? Oh good. And, um, forget I mentioned that whole thing about me having such a machine.
IM A MALE-KOBOLD.
*gets a stool, stands on it, tries to slap, gets a bigger stool, tries to slap, gets a ladder, and finally slaps you*
In this fortress, we obey the laws of a causally connected universe!This is riredarches, a granite figurine of the granite figurine riredarches. It is bigger on the inside. On the item is an image of the granite figurine riredarches.
Post by: wierd on April 10, 2012, 08:48:24 pm
*Phew* so it wasn't mine she thought she grabbed? Oh good. And, um, forget I mentioned that whole thing about me having such a machine.
IM A MALE-KOBOLD.
*gets a stool, stands on it, tries to slap, gets a bigger stool, tries to slap, gets a ladder, and finally slaps you*
The way you and king pervertbeard were carousing the other day, you could have fooled me! ;)
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 08:49:11 pm
*Phew* so it wasn't mine she thought she grabbed? Oh good. And, um, forget I mentioned that whole thing about me having such a machine.
IM A MALE-KOBOLD.
*gets a stool, stands on it, tries to slap, gets a bigger stool, tries to slap, gets a ladder, and finally slaps you*
The way you and king pervertbeard were carousing the other day, you could have fooled me! ;)
I was trying to stab him with a spear.
Post by: wierd on April 10, 2012, 08:52:28 pm
I bet you *were*.........
Post by: Argonnek on April 10, 2012, 08:59:18 pm
Hm. I've made beer before, so a Dabbling Brewer, and I'm probably a Competent Cook. Otherwise... I dunno, student isn't a skill (generally speaking), so not much else.
As for my policy on Kobolds? Kill 'em. They steal my stuff! MURDER, BUTCHER, ROAST! Mmm, Kobold steaks.
Post by: Fen on April 10, 2012, 09:00:33 pm
k
This is an engraving of a Kobold and a dwarf king. All engravedwarfship is of the highest carving. The Kobold is standing above the king. The Kobold is trying to stab the king with his "spear". The king is rejoicing.
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 09:01:29 pm
Is that what they're calling it now? hmmm.
k
This is an engraving of a Kobold and a dwarf king. All engravedwarfship is of the highest carving. The Kobold is standing above the king. The Kobold is trying to stab the king with his "spear". The king is rejoicing.I'm a horrible person.
....I need to learn how to use a bow......
Post by: WillowLuman on April 10, 2012, 09:04:32 pm
If you would only come to my crafting lessons...Is that what they're calling it now? hmmm.
k
This is an engraving of a Kobold and a dwarf king. All engravedwarfship is of the highest carving. The Kobold is standing above the king. The Kobold is trying to stab the king with his "spear". The king is rejoicing.I'm a horrible person.
....I need to learn how to use a bow......
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 09:05:32 pm
If you would only come to my crafting lessons...Is that what they're calling it now? hmmm.
k
This is an engraving of a Kobold and a dwarf king. All engravedwarfship is of the highest carving. The Kobold is standing above the king. The Kobold is trying to stab the king with his "spear". The king is rejoicing.I'm a horrible person.
....I need to learn how to use a bow......
Fine, but im bringing my -oak large dagger- if you try to....not going there.
Post by: wierd on April 10, 2012, 09:07:20 pm
Is that what they're calling it now? hmmm.
k
This is an engraving of a Kobold and a dwarf king. All engravedwarfship is of the highest carving. The Kobold is standing above the king. The Kobold is trying to stab the king with his "spear". The king is rejoicing.I'm a horrible person.
....I need to learn how to use a bow......
Did you release your tightly strung, readied missile deep into his supple, yeilding flesh? Did you drive it deep, or yes, so deep into his great and hairy body?
I bet you did..... I heard he misses you. You should call him some time... write a letter. :)
[I am totally going to hell for this]
Post by: WillowLuman on April 10, 2012, 09:08:48 pm
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 09:09:13 pm
Is that what they're calling it now? hmmm.
k
This is an engraving of a Kobold and a dwarf king. All engravedwarfship is of the highest carving. The Kobold is standing above the king. The Kobold is trying to stab the king with his "spear". The king is rejoicing.I'm a horrible person.
....I need to learn how to use a bow......
Did you release your tightly strung, readied missile deep into his supple, yeilding flesh? Did you drive it deep, or yes, so deep into his great and hairy body?
I bet you did..... I heard he misses you. You should call him some time... write a letter. :)
[I am totally going to hell for this]
God I love this forum. Even if im at the receiving end I love this forum.
And no, I did not.
-EDIT-
This is a engraving of the Kobold Corai and the dwarf Weird, the kobold is slapping the dwarf, the dwarf is laughing, this relates to the attempted-murder of the dwarve Weird in the year 2012.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 10, 2012, 09:13:08 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on April 10, 2012, 09:13:47 pm
Post by: wierd on April 10, 2012, 09:14:51 pm
(Is it wrong that I am cackleing like a madman while fighting back dry heaves at the same time?)
Post by: Eric Blank on April 10, 2012, 09:15:06 pm
[I amWe're all totally going to hell for [derailing] this [thread into yet another kobold rule 34 contest]]
THis.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 10, 2012, 09:17:45 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on April 10, 2012, 09:20:34 pm
Well, kobolds aside, I must wonder: what are our plans on breaching the caverns?
Avoid them like the plague and then install all manner of internal defenses and check and double check and triple check that no forgotten beasts can ever get to us?
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 10, 2012, 09:22:11 pm
Post by: wierd on April 10, 2012, 09:26:13 pm
Then, build a well over the top.
Instead of a ladder, we tie a kobold to the rope, and dangle it down.
If the rope goes taught, and unintelligable utterances issue before sudden silence, we seal the breach and never speak of it again.
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 09:27:23 pm
I vote we dig a small, 10cm hole.
Then, build a well over the top.
Instead of a ladder, we tie a kobold to the rope, and dangle it down.
If the rope goes taught, and unintelligable utterances issue before sudden silence, we seal the breach and never speak of it again.
Everyone turns to Corai
............BYE!
A wagon has been stolen!
A yak bull has been stolen! x2
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 10, 2012, 09:29:53 pm
Post by: Talvieno on April 10, 2012, 09:30:50 pm
Oh gawd.. I can't do this any more.. I am gonna throw up in my mouth I think... blahh!This is also how the manamaid was born. link (http://talvieno.tumblr.com/post/18115200391/manamaids)
(Is it wrong that I am cackleing like a madman while fighting back dry heaves at the same time?)
This thread is moving insanely fast again. lol I'm trying to read back through everything to make sure I didn't miss anybody, but wow. :P Very awesome.
And Lmao at Corai's spear. >.>
EDIT:
Well, kobolds aside, I must wonder: what are our plans on breaching the caverns?
Avoid them like the plague and then install all manner of internal defenses and check and double check and triple check that no forgotten beasts can ever get to us?
Actually, I was thinking of breaching them soon... We of Bay12 tend to like living on the edge when after we get comfortable... and I think cages full of nude elf women qualifies as "comfortable".
Just trying to be realistic. :P But I'll hold off if that's the popular opinion of what we should do.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 10, 2012, 09:41:05 pm
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 09:44:14 pm
and I think cages full of nude elf women qualifies as "comfortable".
.........THOSE THINGS ARE THREE TIMES BIGGER THEN ME. And I dont mean overall either!
So im very worried 24/7, more then usual.
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 10, 2012, 09:46:37 pm
Once we have reached a state in which the fools are no longer buggered we can send a small expeditionary force into the caverns consisting of corai and several of the cats which are most prone to mewing. Corai shall translate the discoveries of the cats into a language we can't understand and we shall ultimately be forced to throw caution to the win and behave incredibly irresponsibly.
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 09:48:36 pm
Which members of the populace must be stricken about the face and body to facilitate a more accurate count of our supplies? Clearly there is an unacceptable amount of tomfoolery and alleged kobold buggery, the remedy is then for the book keeper to take more specific counts so that we can be aware of the bones which are not yet devoid of flesh and which bones are in deficit thereby causing the foolery of toms and the buggery of kobolds. Once the bones which prevent the buggery and foolery respectively are discovered I shall turn them into hats which shall be worn to prevent further bug-foolery.
Once we have reached a state in which the fools are no longer buggered we can send a small expeditionary force into the caverns consisting of corai and several of the cats which are most prone to mewing. Corai shall translate the discoveries of the cats into a language we can't understand and we shall ultimately be forced to throw caution to the win and behave incredibly irresponsibly.
I happen to speak english fluently! And cat!
What did you say tomkins? OH GOD YOU DIRTY CAT, NO BROSPETH WOULD NOT LIKE THAT NO, NO. LALALALA DIDNT HEAR THAT! NO HE WOULDNT! HES A DWARF NOT A CAT! LALALALA!
Post by: wierd on April 10, 2012, 09:50:01 pm
and I think cages full of nude elf women qualifies as "comfortable".
.........THOSE THINGS ARE THREE TIMES BIGGER THEN ME. And I dont mean overall either!
So im very worried 24/7, more then usual.
[Totally hellbound now.]
Don't worry little vermin, the spindly twig-like elf hussies are well know for "loving all living things". The worst you have to worry about is that they might kill you with their love!
(That and the stumprot.)
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 10, 2012, 09:50:31 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I would happily volunteer.
Oh that's right, three scribbles on a piece of paper and the booze is gone.
Post by: Talvieno on April 10, 2012, 09:51:25 pm
That's the slowest, most inefficient method of escape I've ever heard of.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Imagine two kobolds sitting in a room full of "rope reed" (hemp), smoking some of it. One of them happens to look out the window. "Oh, gods, it's the cops!" "No, no, no!" says the other. "We like, totally gotta get outta here, man!" "Yeah, dude! Quick, get on the wagon!" Both kobolds jump on the wagon and yell at the yaks to get them moving, and they slowly plod away.... so slowly.
If the kobolds are dumb enough to try to urge them onwards with the whip, they won't be going anywhere at all. They might get *yak roast* out of it, though.
Personally, I don't want to dieThat's a vote against the caverns, then... Who else?
Another edit:
I lol'd.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 09:52:00 pm
and I think cages full of nude elf women qualifies as "comfortable".
.........THOSE THINGS ARE THREE TIMES BIGGER THEN ME. And I dont mean overall either!
So im very worried 24/7, more then usual.
[Totally hellbound now.]
Don't worry little vermin, the spindly twig-like elf hussies are well know for "loving all living things". The worst you have to worry about is that they might kill you with their love!
(That and the stumprot.)
This is a engraving of Corai's kobold camp and elves, the elves are massacring the kobolds, the kobolds are fleeing, this relates to the slaughter of kobolds in the year 2012
They love us plenty >.>
Post by: WillowLuman on April 10, 2012, 09:52:23 pm
Bones...yes.
Also, as wishing to remain of ambiguous gender, I'll have to involvement with any sort of "tomfoolery." However, I shall continue trying to cause the laws of physics to be buggered.
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 10, 2012, 09:53:08 pm
This is unacceptable! The Kobold cannot be allowed to consort with the cats and by naming them cause the butcher to weep and abjure when the time to harvest their delicious organ meats! For our safety the Kobold must be put into the cages with the naked elves.
I happen to speak english fluently! And cat!
What did you say tomkins? OH GOD YOU DIRTY CAT, NO BROSPETH WOULD NOT LIKE THAT NO, NO. LALALALA DIDNT HEAR THAT! NO HE WOULDNT! HES A DWARF NOT A CAT! LALALALA!
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 09:55:06 pm
This is unacceptable! The Kobold cannot be allowed to consort with the cats and by naming them cause the butcher to weep and abjure when the time to harvest their delicious organ meats! For our safety the Kobold must be put into the cages with the naked elves.
I happen to speak english fluently! And cat!
What did you say tomkins? OH GOD YOU DIRTY CAT, NO BROSPETH WOULD NOT LIKE THAT NO, NO. LALALALA DIDNT HEAR THAT! NO HE WOULDNT! HES A DWARF NOT A CAT! LALALALA!
..........I call everything tomkins tomkins.......
Post by: Talvieno on April 10, 2012, 09:55:20 pm
Well, that's not much of a happy ending. I'm sure the elves were displeased.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Edit:
Again, I lol'd.This is unacceptable! The Kobold cannot be allowed to consort with the cats and by naming them cause the butcher to weep and abjure when the time to harvest their delicious organ meats! For our safety the Kobold must be put into the cages with the naked elves.
I happen to speak english fluently! And cat!
What did you say tomkins? OH GOD YOU DIRTY CAT, NO BROSPETH WOULD NOT LIKE THAT NO, NO. LALALALA DIDNT HEAR THAT! NO HE WOULDNT! HES A DWARF NOT A CAT! LALALALA!
Post by: wierd on April 10, 2012, 09:58:04 pm
Does it every time.
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 09:59:41 pm
The elves found a wooden spoon in the kolbold's larder.
Does it every time.
I SWEAR IT WAS PLANTED!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 10, 2012, 10:00:51 pm
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 10, 2012, 10:01:46 pm
..........I call everything tomkins tomkins.......The kobold Corai calls cats tomkins because Corai calls everything tomkins and Cats are things. Cats have bones inside of them which are also things and therefore must also be called tomkins by Corai. Dwarves have bones which are things and therefore called tomkins and by having bones the dwarves themselves are things and as such must be called tomkins as well. Elves have bones (though of a much poorer quality) which are things and must then be called tomkins and by having bones must themselves ALSO be things causing elves to also be called tomkins. Kobolds are filled with bones which are things called tomkins and therefore things themselves so Kobolds are in fact tomkins.
Ipso Facto Corai just confessed to being an elf and has accused us all of the same crime.
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 10:02:45 pm
..........I call everything tomkins tomkins.......The kobold Corai calls cats tomkins because Corai calls everything tomkins and Cats are things. Cats have bones inside of them which are also things and therefore must also be called tomkins by Corai. Dwarves have bones which are things and therefore called tomkins and by having bones the dwarves themselves are things and as such must be called tomkins as well. Elves have bones (though of a much poorer quality) which are things and must then be called tomkins and by having bones must themselves ALSO be things causing elves to also be called tomkins. Kobolds are filled with bones which are things called tomkins and therefore things themselves so Kobolds are in fact tomkins.
Ipso Facto Corai just confessed to being an elf and has accused us all of the same crime.
I actually called us all cats!
EQUALITY?
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 10, 2012, 10:03:41 pm
Post by: Talvieno on April 10, 2012, 10:04:17 pm
BTW, if I, while crafting, happen to make any images of kittens, restrain or imprison me somehow at once.It shall be done. It's the first sign that they're beginning to take hold of your mind for their own dark purposes.
He also just called us his deities. I think we can let it slide this once.............I call everything tomkins tomkins.......The kobold Corai calls cats tomkins because Corai calls everything tomkins and Cats are things. Cats have bones inside of them which are also things and therefore must also be called tomkins by Corai. Dwarves have bones which are things and therefore called tomkins and by having bones the dwarves themselves are things and as such must be called tomkins as well. Elves have bones (though of a much poorer quality) which are things and must then be called tomkins and by having bones must themselves ALSO be things causing elves to also be called tomkins. Kobolds are filled with bones which are things called tomkins and therefore things themselves so Kobolds are in fact tomkins.
Ipso Facto Corai just confessed to being an elf and has accused us all of the same crime.
If everyone is equal, everyone is expendable.I prefer to consider everyone invaluable.
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 10:04:58 pm
If everyone is equal, everyone is expendable.
That also means everyones a noble, and nobles cant be drafted, so no more fighting!
And if were all nobles, noone will work, so everyone will starve.......I DOOMED US ALL I THINK.
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 10, 2012, 10:06:26 pm
I actually called us all cats!
EQUALITY?
Equality is a myth perpetrated by gnomes to convince us that they don't deserve to be covered in gnome blight an laughed at even though their bones are smaller, fewer, and hold a poorer edge than those of proper races which I do not know because cutting gnomes open an making arrows from their parts is wrong.
Post by: KodKod on April 10, 2012, 10:14:53 pm
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 10:15:42 pm
What is this I don't even.
I believe I have re-sparked kobold-hatred with my existance.
I FEEL SUCCESSFUL NOW!
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 10, 2012, 10:17:05 pm
What is this I don't even.My stream of thought has become polluted beyond remedy but I'm fairly certain the kobold is trying to make the elves bugger cats in the caverns.
Post by: KodKod on April 10, 2012, 10:17:18 pm
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 10:18:57 pm
What is this I don't even.My stream of thought has become polluted beyond remedy but I'm fairly certain the kobold is trying to make the elves bugger cats in the caverns.
Maybe I am, maybe im not, maybe im actually a dwarf in a kobold leather dress, maybe im a elf? Oh god no! Maybe im a goblin? Or a dragon? Perhaps I am you from another universe.
Oh perhaps im a kobold that has a pet cat called tomkins that has a phobia of elves.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 10, 2012, 10:21:10 pm
I actually called us all cats!
EQUALITY?
Equality is a myth perpetrated by gnomes to convince us that they don't deserve to be covered in gnome blight an laughed at even though their bones are smaller, fewer, and hold a poorer edge than those of proper races which I do not know because cutting gnomes open an making arrows from their parts is wrong.
Equality is a fact, because all gnomes get gnomeblighted equally
Post by: wierd on April 10, 2012, 10:24:45 pm
If I see your dismembered corpse, I know what happened.
(I took the cats to strengthen my mind against the mind control beams. They have been demanding out to find a handsome tom for days now. I take delight in the refusal. Their pitiful mewlings and yowling scratchings at the doors fill me with wicked delight! I am dwarf! I release a horrendous laughter, fell and terrible! Muahahahahhaah!)
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 10:27:15 pm
I have 3 cats.... they are attracted to small, furry, vulnerable, timid, skulking creatures..... because they like so very mych to play with them.... to death... followed by the eating... head first. Always head first with cats.... they have a nasty habit of leaving the legs and feet uneaten.
If I see your dismembered corpse, I know what happened.
(I took the cats to strengthen my mind against the mind control beams. They have been demanding out to find a handsome tom for days now. I take delight in the refusal. Their pitiful mewlings and yowling scratchings at the doors fill me with wicked delight! I am dwarf! I release a horrendous laughter, fell and terrible! Muahahahahhaah!)
Corai laughs, fell and terrible!
Wierd has been struck down!
Fell dwarves always succeed in there murders from my records, so have fell kobolds.
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 10, 2012, 10:29:57 pm
I have 3 cats.... they are attracted to small, furry, vulnerable, timid, skulking creatures..... because they like so very mych to play with them.... to death... followed by the eating... head first. Always head first with cats.... they have a nasty habit of leaving the legs and feet uneaten.This is factual. If Corai is found eviscerated with his bones missing he was clearly devoured by a cat and no investigation needs to be made.
If I see your dismembered corpse, I know what happened.
(I took the cats to strengthen my mind against the mind control beams. They have been demanding out to find a handsome tom for days now. I take delight in the refusal. Their pitiful mewlings and yowling scratchings at the doors fill me with wicked delight! I am dwarf! I release a horrendous laughter, fell and terrible! Muahahahahhaah!)
Post by: wierd on April 10, 2012, 10:31:53 pm
The kobold Corai has been found dead!
(Ghosts ignore armor, and all forms of protection, little vermin!)
Post by: Corai on April 10, 2012, 10:33:36 pm
Weird Joykill, ghostly alchemist has returned from the grave, and is slaying the living!
The kobold Corai has been found dead!
(Ghosts ignore armor, and all forms of protection, little vermin!)
CoraiUnki, ghostly...........kobold has returned from the grave, and is confused!
.....eep? Someone bury me so I can take another kobold's body and return. I already died six times now in this thread alone.
You all know it wont get rid of me that easily, kobolds are nigh-impossible to defeat without starving them, I once had a moma-kobold that made 86 pups.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 10, 2012, 10:36:45 pm
If everyone is equal, everyone is expendable.
That also means everyones a noble, and nobles cant be drafted, so no more fighting!
And if were all nobles, noone will work, so everyone will starve.......I DOOMED US ALL I THINK.
No nobility, no military. Everyone equal. Fights will still continue, but there won't be a label, no organization to lead the fights.
No ownership. The Fortress will be the sum of it's efforts.
Or we could just continue with the current system... Which is exactly the same but with nobles involved.
Post by: Oliolli on April 10, 2012, 11:30:56 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 10, 2012, 11:44:49 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on April 10, 2012, 11:46:17 pm
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on April 10, 2012, 11:47:26 pm
"ThatAussieGuy! Report to the Table of Nobility at once! Bring your engineering blueprints. All of them!"Give me time with the minecarts when they're released and I'll go rollercoaster tycoon on them.
Post by: wierd on April 10, 2012, 11:51:40 pm
Checkers, chess? Heavens no. I want to play Scrabble with the clowns.
They always cheat, with words like "phlag'n."
Post by: Talvieno on April 10, 2012, 11:52:31 pm
I vote we dig deeper to find the magma sea and seal off any caverns we find while doing so. We must also prepare a checkerboard above every adamantine vein before we begin to mine them out.I kind of agree with this. Eric Blank, however, requested a noble's room with a balcony overlooking the cavern - but I think he can afford to wait a bit - you know, until we have a dwarven military. No sense going out there ourselves, right?
Checkerboards are a must. There can be no Fun while our lives are at stake. At least we have ThatAussieGuy with us. :)
KodKod, I'll send you in there alone to play scrabble with them, if you'd like. Just trying to cater to your wishes.
Post by: KodKod on April 10, 2012, 11:54:36 pm
KodKod, I'll send you in there alone to play scrabble with them, if you'd like.
They may be demons, but even they don't deserve that.
Post by: wierd on April 11, 2012, 12:00:08 am
I propose we give him his balcony room, but install a heavy barracade on the OUTSIDE of his door, for when things go awry. (Which they will)
I still say the clowns cheat at scrabble. Triple word score on "R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" my foot.
Post by: Talvieno on April 11, 2012, 12:02:13 am
Exactly my point. I wouldn't give them the privilege.KodKod, I'll send you in there alone to play scrabble with them, if you'd like.
They may be demons, but even they don't deserve that.
I still say the clowns cheat at scrabble. Triple word score on "R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" my foot.And what proof do you have that that isn't a word? >:( I challenge your challenge. lol
But about Eric's room... I think that just might be a good idea... Sounds Fun, too.
Post by: KodKod on April 11, 2012, 12:03:39 am
I still say the clowns cheat at scrabble. Triple word score on "R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" my foot.
I'll take your chthulic chanting and raise you the following.
Dokdok, em llik tsum uoy emag eht niw ot!
Post by: Talvieno on April 11, 2012, 12:04:38 am
*wins the game*I still say the clowns cheat at scrabble. Triple word score on "R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" my foot.
I'll take your chthulic chanting and raise you the following.
Dokdok, em llik tsum uoy emag eht niw ot!
Ha. :D
edit: No I didn't. I thought it said "like". :-\ I blame it on needing sleep. >.>
*loses horribly*
Post by: WillowLuman on April 11, 2012, 12:16:55 am
And I throw in the incomprehensible "L'horloge ne marche pas! Son mal a la mécanisme!"*wins the game*I still say the clowns cheat at scrabble. Triple word score on "R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" my foot.
I'll take your chthulic chanting and raise you the following.
Dokdok, em llik tsum uoy emag eht niw ot!
Ha.
edit: No I didn't. I thought it said "like". :-\ I blame it on needing sleep. >.>
*loses horribly*
Post by: wierd on April 11, 2012, 12:18:18 am
I still say the clowns cheat at scrabble. Triple word score on "R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" my foot.
I'll take your chthulic chanting and raise you the following.
Dokdok, em llik tsum uoy emag eht niw ot!
Mirror writing is a cheap hollywood trope! (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ForeignersWriteBackwards)
I counter with deus ex machina! (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DeusExMachina)
Post by: WillowLuman on April 11, 2012, 12:19:56 am
Post by: wierd on April 11, 2012, 12:20:59 am
Post by: KodKod on April 11, 2012, 12:24:53 am
I still say the clowns cheat at scrabble. Triple word score on "R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" my foot.
I'll take your chthulic chanting and raise you the following.
Dokdok, em llik tsum uoy emag eht niw ot!
Mirror writing is a cheap hollywood trope! (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ForeignersWriteBackwards)
Ah, but references are everything, and to fail to get this particular reference is a grave sin.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on April 11, 2012, 12:25:39 am
Post by: MetalHead on April 11, 2012, 12:35:09 am
Full of fuck, my mind is.
Seriously I step away from this thread for 2 hours and we go from the aforementioned community fort to KodKod trying for a man's heart (in her usual violent fashion though) to kobold Rule 34 to playing board games with Cthulhu. This almost makes me wanna break out my copy of the Necronomicon just to regain my sanity.
Yes I know what I typed. This place is so damn crazy that a dark god that causes insanity simply by looking at him is like sitting on your shrink's couch compared to this forum. I'm home!
Also ThatAussieGuy, if you make a minecart rollercoaster I volunteer for the first ride that plunges headfirst into the circus. Just let me sharpen my battleaxe first.
Now while the rest of you play with your elven and kobold prisoners I'm going outside to catch me a few giant wolverines to play with, and then grab as much steel as I can find and start making spiked armor for them.
BOW BEFORE THE PSYCHOTIC STEEL MENACE!
Post by: KodKod on April 11, 2012, 12:38:57 am
Seriously I step away from this thread for 2 hours and we go from the aforementioned community fort to KodKod trying for a man's heart (in her usual violent fashion though)
You have a funny way of describing ripping someone's heart out of their chest.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on April 11, 2012, 12:41:13 am
Post by: MetalHead on April 11, 2012, 12:41:53 am
Seriously I step away from this thread for 2 hours and we go from the aforementioned community fort to KodKod trying for a man's heart (in her usual violent fashion though)
You have a funny way of describing ripping someone's heart out of their chest.
You just like him, admit it already.
Although maybe a little too much...
Post by: KodKod on April 11, 2012, 12:44:08 am
You just like him, admit it already.
Although maybe a little too much...
Eww. I shall not be accused of such things. The next person to suggest such a thing is going to lose a limb.
Post by: MetalHead on April 11, 2012, 12:45:56 am
You just like him, admit it already.
Although maybe a little too much...
Eww. I shall not be accused of such things. The next person to suggest such a thing is going to lose a limb.
KodKod and OliOli, sittin' in a tree...
Come at me, I have a steel battleaxe and a giant war wolverine with a taste for evil people.
Post by: MetalHead on April 11, 2012, 12:47:10 am
So I will put this post to further use. I say we take this fortress and make a defensive system involving nothing but minecarts and giant war wolverines.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 11, 2012, 12:55:08 am
There's no chance of kodkod having the capacity to develope feelings for anyone, or anyone else to kodkod. The only affection displayed by THIS community will be violence and passionate bloodletting.
I didn't want a balcony appended to my quarters, I wanted fortifications with possibility of supplementary glass windows to stop projectile-vomit (but not glass windows alone, that would be dangerous!)
Post by: KodKod on April 11, 2012, 12:59:27 am
Come at me, I have a steel battleaxe and a giant war wolverine with a taste for evil people.
Oh no, no; nothing so crass. Revenge is a dish best served ice cold, Mister MetalHead. When you get what's coming to you, you will have long since forgotten this converation, it will be a vauge, distant memory of a time long since passed.
But I won't forget, no, no, I never forget. I have the names of every single person who has ever crossed me carved, with all the malice I can muster, into a little black book of grudges so that I can never forgot the wrongs that have been dealt me. And every so often, as time slowly marches on, someone's turn will come up. They won't know why, having long since moved on like any non-psychotic human being, but I will turn their life on its head and make them suffer thousand-fold for every injustice paid to me; perhaps all at once, or perhaps a thousand tiny needles draining them dry.
Then, when the pit of despair can be dug no deeper, who will show up but KodKod to lend a helping hand and get them back on their feet. For why should they suffer but once when I can build them back up to fall again, and again, and again, for so long as my insatiable need to break human beings keeps dragging me ominously forward like the creeping veil of night covering the world as the sun breathes its last and dips over the horizon.
I am Nemesis.
Post by: MetalHead on April 11, 2012, 01:10:40 am
Come at me, I have a steel battleaxe and a giant war wolverine with a taste for evil people.
Oh no, no; nothing so crass. Revenge is a dish best served ice cold, Mister MetalHead. When you get what's coming to you, you will have long since forgotten this converation, it will be a vauge, distant memory of a time long since passed.
But I won't forget, no, no, I never forget. I have the names of every single person who has ever crossed me carved, with all the malice I can muster, into a little black book of grudges so that I can never forgot the wrongs that have been dealt me. And every so often, as time slowly marches on, someone's turn will come up. They won't know why, having long since moved on like any non-psychotic human being, but I will turn their life on its head and make them suffer thousand-fold for every injustice paid to me; perhaps all at once, or perhaps a thousand tiny needles draining them dry.
Then, when the pit of despair can be dug no deeper, who will show up but KodKod to lend a helping hand and get them back on their feet. For why should they suffer but once when I can build them back up to fall again, and again, and again, for so long as my insatiable need to break human beings keeps dragging me ominously forward like the creeping veil of night covering the world as the sun breathes its last and dips over the horizon.
I am Nemesis.
Oh, revenge is it? Holding a grudge, and waiting until I've forgotten what slight against you I've committed?
You have to find me first. I could be the guy (or girl) making the burger you order to sate your hunger for flesh. Or a soviet defector living his life out in a barren wasteland. Or just another nameless face in the crowd. I could even be the last person you slept with.
I thrive in the shadows. When darkness falls and those around me fall into despair and depravity I stand tall, for in the night I am invincible.
You cannot touch what you cannot find, after all.
Post by: Oliolli on April 11, 2012, 01:15:30 am
And I throw in the incomprehensible "L'horloge ne marche pas! Son mal a la mécanisme!"*wins the game*I still say the clowns cheat at scrabble. Triple word score on "R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" my foot.
I'll take your chthulic chanting and raise you the following.
Dokdok, em llik tsum uoy emag eht niw ot!
Ha.
edit: No I didn't. I thought it said "like". :-\ I blame it on needing sleep. >.>
*loses horribly*
Kalapurkki sieni tonnikala.
I win.
Hey guys whats goin' on in this thrOHLAWD
Full of fuck, my mind is.
Seriously I step away from this thread for 2 hours and we go from the aforementioned community fort to KodKod trying for a man's heart (in her usual violent fashion though) to kobold Rule 34 to playing board games with Cthulhu. This almost makes me wanna break out my copy of the Necronomicon just to regain my sanity.
Yes I know what I typed. This place is so damn crazy that a dark god that causes insanity simply by looking at him is like sitting on your shrink's couch compared to this forum. I'm home!
And Cthulhu went insane by simply visiting Bay12.
Seriously I step away from this thread for 2 hours and we go from the aforementioned community fort to KodKod trying for a man's heart (in her usual violent fashion though)
You have a funny way of describing ripping someone's heart out of their chest.
Good thing I didn't need that thing :-\
You just like him, admit it already.
Although maybe a little too much...
Eww. I shall not be accused of such things. The next person to suggest such a thing is going to lose a limb.
KodKod and OliOli, sittin' in a tree...
Come at me, I have a steel battleaxe and a giant war wolverine with a taste for evil people.
*makes self full ☼ adamantine set☼*
*cracks knuckles*
Bad idea to say such things...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
*reads through black book*
Hey, when do the pages NOT filled with "Oliolli" start?
Hey, why did this pop into my mind? (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BelligerentSexualTension)
And this... (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SlapSlapKiss)
Post by: MetalHead on April 11, 2012, 01:21:57 am
Hey, why did this pop into my mind? (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BelligerentSexualTension)
As stated previously, since I do not share Rihanna's views concerning whips and chains KodKod will never know who I am or where I live.
Leave torture for the kobolds. Just leave the leftovers for my pets.
Post by: ThatAussieGuy on April 11, 2012, 01:24:27 am
Come at me, I have a steel battleaxe and a giant war wolverine with a taste for evil people.
Oh no, no; nothing so crass. Revenge is a dish best served ice cold, Mister MetalHead. When you get what's coming to you, you will have long since forgotten this converation, it will be a vauge, distant memory of a time long since passed.
But I won't forget, no, no, I never forget. I have the names of every single person who has ever crossed me carved, with all the malice I can muster, into a little black book of grudges so that I can never forgot the wrongs that have been dealt me. And every so often, as time slowly marches on, someone's turn will come up. They won't know why, having long since moved on like any non-psychotic human being, but I will turn their life on its head and make them suffer thousand-fold for every injustice paid to me; perhaps all at once, or perhaps a thousand tiny needles draining them dry.
Then, when the pit of despair can be dug no deeper, who will show up but KodKod to lend a helping hand and get them back on their feet. For why should they suffer but once when I can build them back up to fall again, and again, and again, for so long as my insatiable need to break human beings keeps dragging me ominously forward like the creeping veil of night covering the world as the sun breathes its last and dips over the horizon.
I am Nemesis.
Kobolds really do export petty annoyance.... I'm on your list now, Kodkod, aren't I?... Uh oh...
Post by: Eric Blank on April 11, 2012, 01:25:57 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
*reads through black book*
Hey, when do the pages NOT filled with "Oliolli" start?
Whenever a hand cramp stepped in and "Oliolli" was impossible to write. :P
If the Bay12 forum were a mountain hall, we'd need some serious quantity of booze to keep everyone drunk and happy to avoid the fruitless conversations we tend to get into...
Post by: wierd on April 11, 2012, 01:28:05 am
As the antisexual here, I think I understand it better than both of you.
You two are reaching into the mouth of a hungry lion. This one likes to play games with you, and won't snap shut on the first try. Oh no. I strongly suspect ms. Kodkod will wait. Patiently... for you to put your head in her mouth, before she clamps down and chews you up. :)
When the abyss stares back at you and smiles, rest assured, it knows something you don't.
Post by: Fen on April 11, 2012, 01:30:02 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
*reads through black book*
Hey, when do the pages NOT filled with "Oliolli" start?
Whenever a hand cramp stepped in and "Oliolli" was impossible to write. :P
If the Bay12 forum were a mountain hall, we'd need some serious quantity of booze to keep everyone drunk and happy to avoid the fruitless conversations we tend to get into...
But those are the BEST conversations! What good is living a life in DF if you can't contemplate imaginary doom-bringing giant sky whales fighting armies of theoretical demons?
Post by: wierd on April 11, 2012, 01:35:45 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
*reads through black book*
Hey, when do the pages NOT filled with "Oliolli" start?
Whenever a hand cramp stepped in and "Oliolli" was impossible to write. :P
If the Bay12 forum were a mountain hall, we'd need some serious quantity of booze to keep everyone drunk and happy to avoid the fruitless conversations we tend to get into...
But those are the BEST conversations! What good is living a life in DF if you can't contemplate imaginary doom-bringing giant sky whales fighting armies of theoretical demons?
Our fortress needs a "tablet of raw editing", which "contains the secrets of the whole universe" in it!
Imagine the knockdown drag-outs that would ensue should somebody mention "oompa loopmas", with a chisel in hand!
"No! New creatures require a new world-gen! You idiot!"
"Stop him before he causes the world to crash!"
Etc...
LOL!
Post by: Naryar on April 11, 2012, 01:42:19 am
And it's all that she-demon's fault.
Post by: MetalHead on April 11, 2012, 01:44:09 am
Do I see the very beginning of a tantrum spiral ?
And it's all that she-demon's fault.
No, it's because I left a rotten chunk of giant eagle meat in the meeting hall. My bad
Post by: Naryar on April 11, 2012, 01:53:59 am
Do I see the very beginning of a tantrum spiral ?
And it's all that she-demon's fault.
No, it's because I left a rotten chunk of giant eagle meat in the meeting hall. My bad
Where have you found a giant eagle ? I haven't seen one since v0.31.25
Post by: WillowLuman on April 11, 2012, 01:54:36 am
Also we ought to contact monk12 and bring him into this.
Post by: Fen on April 11, 2012, 02:00:08 am
Don't worry, I'll make crafts and Fen will make engravings to immortalize the following events.
Also we ought to contact monk12 and bring him into this.
Together, we will ensure the entire world will know of the tantrum spiralling of our fortress! And they'll have such lovely commemorative knick-knacks, toys, and figurines to take home.
Post by: wierd on April 11, 2012, 02:23:09 am
Do I see the very beginning of a tantrum spiral ?
And it's all that she-demon's fault.
No, it's because I left a rotten chunk of giant eagle meat in the meeting hall. My bad
Where have you found a giant eagle ? I haven't seen one since v0.31.25
The elves recently brought me one in the caravan in my fortress..... I've been hoping to get a pair.... I turned the savagery way up to the point where dwarves are nearly extinct. The elves constantly bring giant creatures in. So far I have breeding pops of giant lions and giant dingos. They've brought a giant bark scorpion, a couple female giant ostritches, lots of mismatched giant parrots of different types, and even some giant hamsters in addition to the giant eagle.
Should I be concerned that I won't get a mating set?
Post by: saltmummy626 on April 11, 2012, 02:41:25 am
I think the coming spiral can be averted with a liberal application of scorpion and magma. would someone like to get the lever while I release the "children?"
Post by: wierd on April 11, 2012, 02:45:00 am
If you go in there, she might just lock the door.
Post by: Splint on April 11, 2012, 03:18:57 am
Post by: Gizogin on April 11, 2012, 06:39:41 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
*reads through black book*
Hey, when do the pages NOT filled with "Oliolli" start?
Whenever a hand cramp stepped in and "Oliolli" was impossible to write. :P
If the Bay12 forum were a mountain hall, we'd need some serious quantity of booze to keep everyone drunk and happy to avoid the fruitless conversations we tend to get into...
But those are the BEST conversations! What good is living a life in DF if you can't contemplate imaginary doom-bringing giant sky whales fighting armies of theoretical demons?
Our fortress needs a "tablet of raw editing", which "contains the secrets of the whole universe" in it!
Imagine the knockdown drag-outs that would ensue should somebody mention "oompa loopmas", with a chisel in hand!
"No! New creatures require a new world-gen! You idiot!"
"Stop him before he causes the world to crash!"
Etc...
LOL!
Raw editing?
*cracks neck dramatically*
Stand aside. Stuff's about to get [MAT_FIXED_TEMP:300000].
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 11, 2012, 08:50:05 am
The only affection displayed by THIS community will be violence and passionate bloodletting.
Exactly! People love each other that much more when their lives are in their hands... Or being threatened by them. Stockholm syndrome isn't pretty, but it happens.
Raw editing?
Ah... Good things will come of this.
What's stopping us from invading other worlds? Creating our own worlds?
WE WOULD BECOME GODS.
Very, very killable Gods.
With fluffballs. Still counts.
Post by: KodKod on April 11, 2012, 08:59:04 am
There's no chance of kodkod having the capacity to develope feelings for anyone, or anyone else to kodkod. The only affection displayed by THIS community will be violence and passionate bloodletting.
Neither of you comprehend the disgust that is the accusation of physical attraction outside your orientation.
Quite true, the only emotion I possess is a churning, tempestuous rage.
Careful, kodkod's in charge of the scorpion pit, and she doesn't like strangers messing with her charges.
If you go in there, she might just lock the door.
I'm only going to say it once, people had best stay away from my children. They don't like it when anyone but their mama approaches them, and they have a tendancy to lash out.
Post by: Kibstable on April 11, 2012, 10:27:17 am
I'm not allowed to assign anyone jobs that they didn't specifically request in this thread. As a result, we have almost no woodcutters, tanners, architects, and some others.
I expected (like many dwarves) to get a job I didn't want.
I didn't want to say what my skills were, In reality I'm trained in sylvicultural management (planting and looking after trees - including thinning and clearfell harvesting) but I'm not all elf, I have recent experience in developing a small hydro electric station. Also skills in sheep and cattle herding, and adequate level of skill in dry-stone-dyke (wall) building.
I rarely need alcohol to get through the working day.
Post by: Oliolli on April 11, 2012, 11:12:24 am
Quite true, the only emotion I possess is a churning, tempestuous rage.
nose
left eye
middle eye
right eye
left eye tooth
right eye tooth
heart
She's not joking, you know.
Post by: shadenight123 on April 11, 2012, 11:19:20 am
Post by: Gizogin on April 11, 2012, 11:27:27 am
Then again, I'm the CMD, despite knowing very little about modern medicine in real life. I can do first aid and CPR and stuff (thanks to the BSA; I have First Aid, Emergency Preparedness, and Lifesaving Merit Badges), but that and some half-remembered stuff from random wiki walks are about the extent of my actual medical knowledge.
Regardless, I'm not going to stop being the CMD. Don't try to take the position from me, either; I've been studying martial arts for the past twelve years. Also, I'll remove your [BP:LUNGS].
Post by: Talvieno on April 11, 2012, 11:32:09 am
Post by: KodKod on April 11, 2012, 11:47:12 am
She's not joking, you know.
Quite. At this point, I'm pretty much the Queen Bitch of the Universe.
Post by: Mikymikmik on April 11, 2012, 11:50:57 am
Profit.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 11, 2012, 12:02:06 pm
She's not joking, you know.
Quite. At this point, I'm pretty much the Queen Bitch of the Universe.
Nah, you're mostly just that creepy stark-raving-mad yet somehow fully-clothed woman that stands in the middle of the dining hall screaming obscenities and assaulting random passersby and fleeing before the guards can catch you, that we let manage the scorpion pit because 1) somebody needs to do it before they start burrowing into the walls and break out and 2) you somehow manage to avoid getting murdered because even they feel awkward stabbing somebody so strangely affectionate of them. Or maybe it's them you scare more than anything else.
I somehow can't see anyone with your thus-far displayed personality getting into a position of power, especially fear-based, in a community dominated by logic and philosophy such as this one... For that matter, you'd probably get very little respect at all, or get yourself in a lot of trouble.
I'd vote ThatAussieGuy or Sphalerite into leadership roles, though. We can respect them. And Rumrusher as fortress theoretical physicist.
I would mine out my own room, steal other peoples stuff, cause a cave in in front of my room with tons of food and drink in my room.
Profit.
A volunteer for the Stoneworkers' Guild? Here's a pick, get diggin'!
Post by: Gizogin on April 11, 2012, 12:18:06 pm
Quite true, the only emotion I possess is a churning, tempestuous rage.
nose
left eye
middle eye
right eye
left eye tooth
right eye tooth
heart
She's not joking, you know.
Sorry, it seems I missed your injury report. You really need to stop angering/annoying/being near KodKod. Your ever-growing injury list is steadily depleting our hospital stocks. Anyway, let's see what I can do about that heart. I should have a spare or two around here, unless you'd be willing to try something... different.
To KodKod:
While I'm sure he completely and unreservedly deserved it, I humbly and with all due deference do request that you please refrain from hurting Oliolli quite so often. As much as I relish in the opportunity to practice my skills, there are other things I would like to do that do not involve stitching Oliolli back together. Now, I understand that accidents and accidents happen from time to time, but it is my hope that we can come to some sort of arrangement to our mutual benefit.
Post by: Mikymikmik on April 11, 2012, 12:28:57 pm
I would mine out my own room, steal other peoples stuff, cause a cave in in front of my room with tons of food and drink in my room.Done! MWAHAHAHHAH! I'm alone FOREVER!
Profit.
Post by: Oliolli on April 11, 2012, 12:42:45 pm
Quite true, the only emotion I possess is a churning, tempestuous rage.
nose
left eye
middle eye
right eye
left eye tooth
right eye tooth
heart
She's not joking, you know.
Sorry, it seems I missed your injury report. You really need to stop angering/annoying/being near KodKod. Your ever-growing injury list is steadily depleting our hospital stocks.
I figured that if I get hurt (and stitched back together) often enough, eventually I'll become some sort of cloth-and-suture golem incapable of feeling pain or being held back by injury. That's why I'll keep staying around KodKod.
Regarding the stocks, we can make more. I'll see if I can pound together some manner of metallic sutures or dressing.
Anyway, let's see what I can do about that heart. I should have a spare or two around here, unless you'd be willing to try something... different.
If by different you mean something along the lines of a mechanical heart or blood veins that pump themselves, I'm OK with it.
To KodKod:
While I'm sure he completely and unreservedly deserved it, I humbly and with all due deference do request that you please refrain from hurting Oliolli quite so often. As much as I relish in the opportunity to practice my skills, there are other things I would like to do that do not involve stitching Oliolli back together. Now, I understand that accidents and accidents happen from time to time, but it is my hope that we can come to some sort of arrangement to our mutual benefit.
Maybe you should appoint some new guy to be ready to piece me back together round the clock, leaving yourself time to... do whatever it is you do while you're not stitching me back together.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 11, 2012, 12:49:59 pm
They say Lungfish have a thousand and more uses...Anyway, let's see what I can do about that heart. I should have a spare or two around here, unless you'd be willing to try something... different.
If by different you mean something along the lines of a mechanical heart or blood veins that pump themselves, I'm OK with it.
Post by: KodKod on April 11, 2012, 12:50:34 pm
Now, I understand that accidents and accidents happen from time to time, but it is my hope that we can come to some sort of arrangement to our mutual benefit.
How attached are you to your vital organs? How attached would you like to be to your vital organs?
That's mutual benefit.
Post by: Gizogin on April 11, 2012, 01:30:50 pm
I figured that if I get hurt (and stitched back together) often enough, eventually I'll become some sort of cloth-and-suture golem incapable of feeling pain or being held back by injury. That's why I'll keep staying around KodKod.
If [NOPAIN] is all you're after, there are easier ways to go about it. You don't really need your nerves, after all.
If by different you mean something along the lines of a mechanical heart or blood veins that pump themselves, I'm OK with it.
It'd be very much like a mechanical heart, only it'd be completely different in every important respect.
Maybe you should appoint some new guy to be ready to piece me back together round the clock, leaving yourself time to... do whatever it is you do while you're not stitching me back together.
That's certainly a possibility, if you don't mind having someone less experienced than myself working on you.
How attached are you to your vital organs? How attached would you like to be to your vital organs?
That's mutual benefit.
Organs are replaceable, though I'm quite fond of my current set. I retract my request, and apologize for any perceived slight.
Post by: Mikymikmik on April 11, 2012, 01:33:44 pm
head
upper body
lower body
legs
feet
This would be because I tried taming a giant dingo. I killed him but he scratched me everywhere...
Anyways at least I have 210 pieces of giant dingo meat! :P
Post by: KodKod on April 11, 2012, 01:36:09 pm
Organs are replaceable, though I'm quite fond of my current set. I retract my request, and apologize for any perceived slight.
And to think that some people believe that diplomacy doesn't work.
Post by: Oliolli on April 11, 2012, 01:39:22 pm
I figured that if I get hurt (and stitched back together) often enough, eventually I'll become some sort of cloth-and-suture golem incapable of feeling pain or being held back by injury. That's why I'll keep staying around KodKod.
If [NOPAIN] is all you're after, there are easier ways to go about it. You don't really need your nerves, after all.
I like the way you think.
If by different you mean something along the lines of a mechanical heart or blood veins that pump themselves, I'm OK with it.
It'd be very much like a mechanical heart, only it'd be completely different in every important respect.
Fine, as long as you yell "FOR SCIENCE!" at a crucial point during the operation.
Maybe you should appoint some new guy to be ready to piece me back together round the clock, leaving yourself time to... do whatever it is you do while you're not stitching me back together.
That's certainly a possibility, if you don't mind having someone less experienced than myself working on you.
They'll learn.
Post by: Archereon on April 11, 2012, 01:40:15 pm
Wait, KodKod is a Giant Sponge?
Post by: kaijyuu on April 11, 2012, 01:46:43 pm
She'd love nothing more than to gut you and lick the blood off her fingers.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 11, 2012, 01:49:36 pm
No, she's Kerrigan.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
HA.
HAHA.
Enjoy your infestation.
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 11, 2012, 01:50:16 pm
No, she's Kerrigan.If you're trying to stifle my erection you have failed miserably.
She'd love nothing more than to gut you and lick the blood off her fingers.
Post by: KodKod on April 11, 2012, 01:50:27 pm
No, she's Kerrigan.
Ah, so someone did get the reference after all.
Faith in the internets restored.
Post by: Archereon on April 11, 2012, 01:53:17 pm
No, she's Kerrigan.
She'd love nothing more than to gut you and lick the blood off her fingers.
I'll take your Kerrigan, and give you...
(http://www.superiorman.de/Bilder/GamesWorkshop/SpessMehreens.jpg)
(please don't derail into Starcraft vs 40k flame war. Yes, I got the reference, but in the context of Bay 12, the creature most commonly associated with only being able to feel rage are giant sponges...Without a nervous system, the only thing they can feel...Is anger!!!)
On a related note, I've just realized that I would be a Doctor in DF, not a mechanic. Therefore I can assist in the SCIENTIFIC inquiry into dwarven child care, and the creation of Dorf Mehreens.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 11, 2012, 01:58:39 pm
Post by: Archereon on April 11, 2012, 02:00:01 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 11, 2012, 02:03:10 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on April 11, 2012, 02:03:37 pm
Is there a position for full time SCIENTIST?
Yes. Welcome to the !!BIOLOGY!! division.
Go hang out with the giant wolverines until you learn something about taming them.
Post by: Oliolli on April 11, 2012, 02:10:03 pm
Archeron would be legendary+5 in all medical skills in a month.
Post by: Archereon on April 11, 2012, 02:20:45 pm
Hypothesis: There will be much !!FUN.
Materials and Methods: Using an unskilled peasant (or potash maker, as the case may be), bait the giant wolverine into a cage trap. Drop said creature into a 1 level deep hatch covered pit with
Once this stage is complete, assign the creature to an animal trainer. For a control trial, do the same with a similar dwarf (ideally with identical skills and stats), but use an unharmed wolverine. For increased !!FUN, skip step 1, and conduct EXPERIMENT in or near meeting hall/dormitories.
Once the INQUIRY into the taming of wolverines is complete, conduct subsequent trials in bulk, using a variety of individuals of different skills and demographics to determine optimal trainer attributes.
Discussion: Many potential sources of error exist. For optimal yield, further experimentation should be conducted on the value of tamed giant wolverines, and their effectiveness at creatures that are "at peace with nature." Inquiry into their effectiveness as the payload of a bridge catapult could also be of use.
Post by: Gizogin on April 11, 2012, 02:44:58 pm
On a related note, I've just realized that I would be a Doctor in DF, not a mechanic. Therefore I can assist in the SCIENTIFIC inquiry into dwarven child care, and the creation of Dorf Mehreens.
Hey, what if Archeron became my full-time savior? Archeron would patch me up whenever I've crossed paths with KodKod, Gizogin would handle everyone else.
Archeron would be legendary+5 in all medical skills in a month.
Welcome aboard! I can take you on as part-time help at first, and we'll see how you get on. If I find your !!MEDICAL PRACTICE!! to be acceptable, then I'll give you more responsibilities, and maybe even a grant to work on those Dorf Mahreens.
Speaking of which, what are we doing for currency? Is it something we're even going to worry about? I've just been working under the assumption that we work under a sort of service-for-service system, where you get food, clothing, and other goods and services as long as you put in your hours. If that's the case, then I'll replace the Dorf Mahreens grant with my own personal assistance.
Post by: Archereon on April 11, 2012, 02:46:02 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on April 11, 2012, 02:54:10 pm
Poor kitty...
Post by: wierd on April 11, 2012, 03:11:01 pm
What's so agonizing about an art museum?
You want agony? "Theater appreciation", led by a "drama major".
Post by: Splint on April 11, 2012, 03:16:38 pm
Post by: Talvieno on April 11, 2012, 03:24:49 pm
We're all burning alive, and as this obviously isn't supposed to happen, I think I'm going to savescum...
EDIT: And now I have to find another way to get rid of the modded civs, too, if we don't want them to come and play.
Post by: wierd on April 11, 2012, 03:27:05 pm
This way they turn into harmless clouds of nasty creature, instead of nuclear fireballs.
Post by: KodKod on April 11, 2012, 03:35:44 pm
(haven't read the last two pages or so, but...) Oh KodKod...... You forgot to mention that when the modded civs arrived, after I increased the homeotherm value, they'd set everything on fire.
I totally did almost mention it.
The best way is to edit the HOMEOTHERM tag to be more along the lines of 40000, which will cause them all to set on fire and burneverythingto death the moment they enter the map.
Post by: Talvieno on April 11, 2012, 03:38:04 pm
Thanks, Wierd, I owe you. I mod that in and try again.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 11, 2012, 03:39:11 pm
Instead, you should have set a vital body material as a custom one, then set the vapor point of that material at 0 urists.
This way they turn into harmless clouds of nasty creature, instead of nuclear fireballs.
Or better yet, set them to be homeotherm : 1000. Wait for it to rain.
Post by: Talvieno on April 11, 2012, 03:53:09 pm
The scythod work great in arena mode. They spawn on the map and instantly turn to smoke - no fire, no mess, no heat. (just for future reference, they vaguely resemble a praying mantis. "A medium-sized creature from a distant star. It has four arching legs with a long spike at each tip instead of a foot. It has four arms -- one pair ending in sharp claws, and the upper set resembling scythes ending in a suction pit that can be closed to form a spike. It has no head, but a stalk with its mouth at the end.")
The manamaids work great too, except for one problem - they get a split second to use their ability on any enemies nearby: They "bust a sexy move" and everyone nearby loses consciousness and bleeds from their eyes.
The holistic spawn ignore everything I did and still catch fire - and take a freakishly long time to burn to death, too.
Post by: Talvieno on April 11, 2012, 04:42:39 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 11, 2012, 04:45:40 pm
Making sure, of course, that they have no [AMPHIBIOUS] or [NOBREATHE] tags in the process.
Post by: Splint on April 11, 2012, 04:47:58 pm
Post by: Talvieno on April 11, 2012, 04:54:20 pm
Splint - I tried it - they weren't actually poofing into vapor. They were poofing into smoke - therefore, burning. I did a little test and anything in the same tile with them still caught fire, even though they were only around for a single frame. As for the Holistic Spawn - they're tenacious little buzzards... They can survive magma, it seems, almost indefinitely - slowly, slowly burning. They airdrown before they have anything past minor bruises. Homeotherm 40000 does almost nothing except set them on fire. :P
Moral of the story: double check what folder you're in before you start a community fortress.
EDIT: As I'm giving people migrant dwarves now... Won't it be fun if one of us turns out to be a vampire?
Post by: WillowLuman on April 11, 2012, 07:30:38 pm
Also, as long as the creatures haven't showed up on the map yet, you can change almost anything about them. Just remove the ability to do interactions, and set all materials to have a boiling point of 0.
Post by: Corai on April 11, 2012, 07:57:20 pm
I LIKE THE NUKES!
But if we cant, I vote for something that involves fire.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 11, 2012, 08:35:14 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 11, 2012, 08:44:04 pm
Unless it rains.
Post by: Splint on April 11, 2012, 08:47:52 pm
Post by: Corai on April 11, 2012, 08:49:55 pm
Pain from being forced to do hippy-work, and pain from the FB extract. Win-Win!
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 11, 2012, 08:51:22 pm
I LIKE THE NUKES!
Who cares? Kobold. You are in inferior species, dwelling in your primitive caves... Not even a single engraving to be seen!
GEET OUT OF MAH MOUNTAINHOME!
*Sips Longland beer*
(http://www.proaxis.com/~sherlockfam/drsquid/brv/images/brvcastbill.jpg)
Post by: Corai on April 11, 2012, 08:55:18 pm
I LIKE THE NUKES!
Who cares? Kobold. You are in inferior species, dwelling in your primitive caves... Not even a single engraving to be seen!
GEET OUT OF MAH MOUNTAINHOME!
*Sips Longland beer*
(http://www.proaxis.com/~sherlockfam/drsquid/brv/images/brvcastbill.jpg)
Seems im dwarfier then you, dwarf> You seem to deny the nukes, which are impossibly dwarfy, killing all life, plant and senient. They burn everything, better then your magma even!
And I take my kobolds from kobold camp so yeah, my idea of kobolds is far more advanced then yours.
Post by: Splint on April 11, 2012, 09:01:17 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 11, 2012, 09:03:05 pm
They burn everything, better then your magma even!
Heresy! Nothing burns better than plasma, and everyone knows plasma is just extreme magma!
Kobolds aren't stupid. Nor are they inferior given they can disrupt dwarven engineering. They can bea touch simple minded from time to time though.
Oh god...
Really?
REALLY? (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PoesLaw)
Post by: Corai on April 11, 2012, 09:05:54 pm
DEM IMMIGANT KOBOLDS BE TRAVELLIN!They burn everything, better then your magma even!
Heresy! Nothing burns better than plasma, and everyone knows plasma is just extreme magma!Kobolds aren't stupid. Nor are they inferior given they can disrupt dwarven engineering. They can bea touch simple minded from time to time though.
Oh god...
Really?
REALLY?
(http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PoesLaw)
HA. MAGMA FAILS TO SLAY LIVING CREATURES WITHOUT FAT. A nuke obliterates everything., in real life atleast, in DF its the same, just more mobile.
Post by: Splint on April 11, 2012, 09:11:00 pm
But plasma guns for dorfs would rule.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 11, 2012, 09:12:46 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Splint on April 11, 2012, 09:13:54 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I PROPOSE WE HARNESS THE SUN FOR WAR.
Post by: Corai on April 11, 2012, 09:15:31 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I PROPOSE WE HARNESS THE SUN FOR WAR.
Claps
Well done, you have out-witted me. Not that hard is it? Enjoy your intelligence. But remember.
I will be back.
Post by: Splint on April 11, 2012, 09:16:44 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 11, 2012, 09:17:28 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I PROPOSE WE HARNESS THE SUN FOR WAR.
Here's a fun fact: if our sun went supernova tonight - i.e., while we're on the opposite side of the world - it would appear to be brilliant daylight outside. If it was a full moon, we'd actually burn to death in the moonlight. All while the other side of the planet boiled into space at over a hundred metres of rock per second. It would be, by all accounts, a rough night.
Post by: JJtoocool on April 11, 2012, 09:17:31 pm
It also reminds me why I love this community so much.
If we combined this entire community into it's own nation. We would rule the world within years.
Post by: Mikymikmik on April 11, 2012, 09:19:35 pm
Precisely. I see your nuke and raise youHow bout we just make a plasma nuke and be over with it! -.-Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Corai on April 11, 2012, 09:20:20 pm
Reading through the last 4-5 pages of this... It reminds me why I would leave instantly.
It also reminds me why I love this community so much.
If we combined this entire community into it's own nation. We would rule the world within years.
No, we would die in moments.
KodKod would go fell in seconds, and be called a vampire cause of all the *Forum Bone Earrings* or whatever women would make from a corpse.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 11, 2012, 09:22:07 pm
Post by: Gizogin on April 11, 2012, 09:22:28 pm
Reading through the last 4-5 pages of this... It reminds me why I would leave instantly.
It also reminds me why I love this community so much.
If we combined this entire community into it's own nation. We would rule the world within years.
... No, we probably wouldn't.
We'd die of infighting and !!SCIENCE!! inside of a month.
Post by: JJtoocool on April 11, 2012, 09:35:03 pm
Everyone else would be dead from FTW weapons anyway. All of them would undoubtedly be extremely magma-paced-slow. It might take a few years for them to finish up is my thinking.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 11, 2012, 09:38:04 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I PROPOSE WE HARNESS THE SUN FOR WAR.
Here's a fun fact: if our sun went supernova tonight - i.e., while we're on the opposite side of the world - it would appear to be brilliant daylight outside. If it was a full moon, we'd actually burn to death in the moonlight. All while the other side of the planet boiled into space at over a hundred metres of rock per second. It would be, by all accounts, a rough night.
I don't think you're seeing the bigger picture here.
Once the sun uses up it's hydrogen reserves and becomes a red giant - engulfing mother Earth, it's very likely it'll go supernova and spread lovely plasma everywhere...
But there's also the chance it'll become a white Dwarf.
The Dwarves will weaponize plasma.
Post by: Archereon on April 11, 2012, 09:42:13 pm
That's not how stars work.
The sun's mass isn't nearly that high.
Post by: KodKod on April 11, 2012, 09:42:34 pm
That's why we need to apply ‼SCIENCE‼ to force its hand. What could be better than weaponising the sun itself by turning it into an explosive?
Post by: Eric Blank on April 11, 2012, 09:44:14 pm
Post by: Splint on April 11, 2012, 09:44:36 pm
CONTINUING OFF RAILS
SOLAR POWERED LASER GUNS
That is all.
Post by: wierd on April 11, 2012, 09:48:27 pm
Solar plasma produces incoherent light, insuitable for laser energy weapons.
Now..... being dwarves, being underground, and with the disproportionate percentage of scientists and engineers..........
How long until we have a high powered particle accellerator, with which to produce a directed high energy proton beam?
Magma? HAH! Watch as we cut mountains in half!
Post by: Corai on April 11, 2012, 09:49:31 pm
Inefficient.
Solar plasma produces incoherent light, insuitable for laser energy weapons.
Now..... being dwarves, being underground, and with the disproportionate percentage of scientists and engineers..........
How long until we have a high powered particle accellerator, with which to produce a directed high energy proton beam?
Magma? HAH! Watch as we cut mountains in half!
OKAY THIEVES. NEW OBJECTIVE! DROP EVERYTHING, GO FOR MIRRORS! I REPEAT, MIRRORS, THE DWARVES ARE CREATING A SUPER-WEAPON! I REPEAT, MIRRORS! WINDOWS IF YOU CANT FIND MIRRORS!
Post by: JJtoocool on April 11, 2012, 09:51:11 pm
Other than that this solar weapon nonsense is a total derail...
Post by: wierd on April 11, 2012, 09:52:22 pm
The LHC proton beam is estimated to be able to blast through several meters of solid steel per second if left in continuous discharge.
Something about the mass stream traveling at 99% C......
Post by: WillowLuman on April 11, 2012, 09:57:23 pm
Post by: Archereon on April 11, 2012, 10:08:07 pm
Many, many, dwarves died.
The last one was just plain embarassing. One of the militia dorfs went bezerk and killed everyone after his mate got swarmed by zombie ravens.
Post by: wierd on April 11, 2012, 10:11:01 pm
The second law doesn't apply! Whee!
We could have hydro-electric starships, powered by artificial gravity made by centrifugal force, driving infinite energy waterwheels, that in turn power the artificial gravity system, *AND* have power left over for pure energy propulsion!
(On the most extreme end...)
Post by: Corai on April 11, 2012, 10:13:49 pm
Given that overunity is easily accomplished in DF, the possibilities of what we can accomplish are litterally limitless.
The second law doesn't apply! Whee!
We could have hydro-electric starships, powered by artificial gravity made by centrifugal force, driving infinite energy waterwheels, that in turn power the artificial gravity system, *AND* have power left over for pure energy propulsion!
(On the most extreme end...)
Or this.
*Starts running on giant hamster wheel*
KOBOLD POWERED. MANY KOBOLDS WERE HURT IN CONSTRUCTION OF THIS OBJECT.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 11, 2012, 10:23:42 pm
This discussion also supports a previous statement about the DF community entering the medieval world of DF and instantly industrializing it, followed shortly by the majority of technologies we understand today.
The instant we hit the ground, I would begin designing something akin to Blitikus' flying machine in Kobold Quest II, using small dwarven water reactors to provide rotational energy for the props.
There would be no stopping us, if we had even the most basic of necessities to survive for the first month or so. The fact that virtually all DF players have an IQ over 100 makes us all the more powerful.
Post by: Corai on April 11, 2012, 10:26:20 pm
I hate this idea. >:(
Post by: Splint on April 11, 2012, 10:26:34 pm
Post by: Corai on April 11, 2012, 10:27:44 pm
We would be as gods due to our smarts. Hell yes.
......I DEMAND EVERYONE TREAT ME AS A AVERAGE
There, now im just a smart kobold, not a god.
Post by: KodKod on April 11, 2012, 10:29:51 pm
We would be as gods due to our smarts. Hell yes.
I would rather be as a god due to giant space battleships.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
But I suppose smarts is good too.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 11, 2012, 10:35:50 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on April 11, 2012, 10:38:15 pm
We would be as gods due to our smarts. Hell yes.
I would rather be as a god due to giant space battleships.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
But I suppose smarts is good too.
You'll get your giant space battleships. We'll ALL get a fleet of them. After we recover the secrets of life and death from a necromancer tower by sending in some vampire or something and all become immortal, then use our power and smarts to slaughter the goblins and elves and raise their corpses for our skeleton crews as well as the primary labor force. It wouldn't take long. 50 years maybe, just to conquer such a world with our revolutionary dwarven engineering and abuse of this new world's broken physics. Maybe a century or so after that to create the first vessel, powered by said abused physics. First the solar system for it's resources, then the universe for !!SCIENCE!!
Post by: Corai on April 11, 2012, 10:39:24 pm
We would be as gods due to our smarts. Hell yes.
I would rather be as a god due to giant space battleships.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
But I suppose smarts is good too.
You'll get your giant space battleships. We'll ALL get a fleet of them. After we recover the secrets of life and death from a necromancer tower by sending in some vampire or something and all become immortal, then use our power and smarts to slaughter the goblins and elves and raise their corpses for our skeleton crews as well as the primary labor force. It wouldn't take long. 50 years maybe, just to conquer such a world with our revolutionary dwarven engineering and abuse of this new world's broken physics. Maybe a century or so after that to create the first vessel, powered by said abused physics. First the solar system for it's resources, then the universe for !!SCIENCE!!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRR.
Begins running on a hamster wheel.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 11, 2012, 10:40:48 pm
Post by: Crossroads Inc. on April 11, 2012, 10:50:00 pm
We would be as gods due to our smarts. Hell yes.
I would rather be as a god due to giant space battleships.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
But I suppose smarts is good too.
I MUST KNOW WHERE THIS IS FROM!!!
Post by: KodKod on April 11, 2012, 10:50:07 pm
Yes, yes, yes... Yuo can have a hamster wheel to help power the main reactor. Just to get you out of the way...
I can't see how this would backfire in anyway.
A thief has stolen a ☼Life Support System☼.
______ has suffocated x200.
I MUST KNOW WHERE THIS IS FROM!!!
Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion.
The delectable Coronata Titan of the Advent Loyalist faction, with the ability to mind control an entire planet.
Post by: Corai on April 11, 2012, 10:51:48 pm
Yes, yes, yes... Yuo can have a hamster wheel to help power the main reactor. Just to get you out of the way...
I can't see how this would backfire in anyway.
A thief has stolen a ☼Life Support System☼.
______ has suffocated x200.
Im not that stupid, im just as smart as the average forumer, I would never escape fast enough. Im content with hamster wheel and leftover chicken-bones and some turkey-blood.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 11, 2012, 10:55:47 pm
And if we all decided to become vampires to boost our awesomeness, we wouldn't need to breathe, so that's one less purpose the LS would serve.
Post by: Corai on April 11, 2012, 10:57:25 pm
I dunno, I don't think a kobold could walk off with a life support system big enough to supply anything near as large as a star destroyer anyway, even if such a vessel utilized over a thousand of them. I suppose he could get stuck in the gears, though.
And if we all decided to become vampires to boost our awesomeness, we wouldn't need to breathe, so that's one less purpose the LS would serve.
Noone to feed on, and my blood would be to salty from all the running to be drinkable.
Post by: wierd on April 11, 2012, 10:58:48 pm
Habitat bay 12's rotation is out of control!
Weird cancels create forum post, gravity exceeds 200g! x999
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 11, 2012, 11:01:17 pm
Pitiful "compassion" and "restraint" would be removed, as they are the obstacles of ambition.
A very human concept, wouldn't you think?
Post by: Corai on April 11, 2012, 11:02:36 pm
Pitiful "compassion" and "restraint" would be removed, as they are the obstacles of ambition.
A very human concept, wouldn't you think?
We must have those, atleast kodkod, as without the little restaint she has, we would all die, horribly, and without compassion, we wont help one another, letting her pick us off one by one.
Post by: Talvieno on April 11, 2012, 11:02:57 pm
...among many other more terrible things.
It's a bit late tonight... but I'll start writing tomorrow morning.
Also, given the size of today's particle accelerators... it'd be impossible as a weapon... but if we could manage it... :o we would be absolutely unstoppable. Especially if we could make them one-person weapons.
But yeah, realistically, dwarfworld would be doomed. DF can't quite simulate exactly how it would be, as far as technology goes, but if it could, the goblins wouldn't stand a chance. Nor would the elves, for that matter... and i'm sure we could come up with plenty of wood-based weapons to mock them with.
Wouldn't you like to be a robot, too?Pitiful "compassion" and "restraint" would be removed, as they are the obstacles of ambition.
A very human concept, wouldn't you think?
Post by: Corai on April 11, 2012, 11:03:55 pm
After much modding to get rid of mods... I have finished another couple months. The elves have met their fate, and we have captured a single kobold thief... Corai.
...among many other more terrible things.
It's a bit late tonight... but I'll start writing tomorrow morning.
Also, given the size of today's particle accelerators... it'd be impossible as a weapon... but if we could manage it... :o we would be absolutely unstoppable. Especially if we could make them one-person weapons.
But yeah, realistically, dwarfworld would be doomed. DF can't quite simulate exactly how it would be, as far as technology goes, but if it could, the goblins wouldn't stand a chance. Nor would the elves, for that matter... and i'm sure we could come up with plenty of wood-based weapons to mock them with.Wouldn't you like to be a robot, too?Pitiful "compassion" and "restraint" would be removed, as they are the obstacles of ambition.
A very human concept, wouldn't you think?
Set me free to slay our enemies when they siege! The dagger demands it!
Post by: Gizogin on April 11, 2012, 11:36:41 pm
By utilizing the space-time bending properties of the ordinary wooden cage, we could build our own TARDIS or three. After all, there's no actual limit to the amount of stuff that can fit in a cage, provided you put it in properly.
Post by: Oliolli on April 11, 2012, 11:43:34 pm
You remove my brain and rig it into the computers of one of the space ships. Because we can.
Pitiful "compassion" and "restraint" would be removed, as they are the obstacles of ambition.
A very human concept, wouldn't you think?
We must have those, atleast kodkod, as without the little restaint she has, we would all die, horribly, and without compassion, we wont help one another, letting her pick us off one by one.
nose
left eye
middle eye
right eye
left eye tooth
right eye tooth
heart
left upper arm
I don't know, not necessarily die...
We would be as gods due to our smarts. Hell yes.
I would rather be as a god due to giant space battleships.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
But I suppose smarts is good too.
I didn't know Sins of a Solar Empire had Reapers... but why is it upside down? :P
Been forever since I played SoaSE, but I still recognized the thingies around the planets...
Post by: KodKod on April 11, 2012, 11:49:15 pm
I don't know, not necessarily die...
Death is overrated. There are plenty of things far worse than an eternity of darkness.
I didn't know Sins of a Solar Empire had Reapers... but why is it upside down? :P
Been forever since I played SoaSE, but I still recognized the thingies around the planets...
Both of the Titans for the Advent Loyalist faction and the Advent Rebels faction are designed similarly to that, upright as opposed to lying flat.
But only one of the two has a giant freaking Death Laser.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 11, 2012, 11:50:03 pm
Speaking of spaceships:What do you think I've kept asking about cage traps to be installed in my room for? Also, I recommend Kodkod as the template for my "improved humans." She may also help me build the travel machine. I believe it will take 3 tries at least, so make it a MkIII travel machine.
By utilizing the space-time bending properties of the ordinary wooden cage, we could build our own TARDIS or three. After all, there's no actual limit to the amount of stuff that can fit in a cage, provided you put it in properly.
Post by: Talvieno on April 12, 2012, 03:03:20 am
Although... If we can figure out how they bend space, it may be possible to make them bend time as well. However... this would require us to work out a grand unified theory, so we could see the relations between everything... If we could do that, it's totally possible! We'd have TARDISes! And... possibly a way back home.
Does Dwarf Fortress now have a goal? :o
Post by: RAKninja on April 12, 2012, 05:46:13 am
hugoluman, i am RAK from the future where you build this time machine. i came back to warn you to build the mk I and MK II, but DO NOT attempt to build the MK III.Speaking of spaceships:What do you think I've kept asking about cage traps to be installed in my room for? Also, I recommend Kodkod as the template for my "improved humans." She may also help me build the travel machine. I believe it will take 3 tries at least, so make it a MkIII travel machine.
By utilizing the space-time bending properties of the ordinary wooden cage, we could build our own TARDIS or three. After all, there's no actual limit to the amount of stuff that can fit in a cage, provided you put it in properly.
if you successfully invent time travel, you start a chain of events that causes the universe to end.
and by telling you this, i have stranded myself in this timeline, siunting my own even further into non-existence by way of it becoming not only an extinct universe, but an alternate timeline extinct universe.
Post by: Oliolli on April 12, 2012, 07:53:44 am
I didn't know Sins of a Solar Empire had Reapers... but why is it upside down? :P
Been forever since I played SoaSE, but I still recognized the thingies around the planets...
Both of the Titans for the Advent Loyalist faction and the Advent Rebels faction are designed similarly to that, upright as opposed to lying flat.
But only one of the two has a giant freaking Death Laser.
Really makes one think... What good is a big spaceship if it doesn't have a massive death laser? It's like having a dwarf with no beard.
Post by: Gizogin on April 12, 2012, 07:58:17 am
I didn't know Sins of a Solar Empire had Reapers... but why is it upside down? :P
Been forever since I played SoaSE, but I still recognized the thingies around the planets...
Both of the Titans for the Advent Loyalist faction and the Advent Rebels faction are designed similarly to that, upright as opposed to lying flat.
But only one of the two has a giant freaking Death Laser.
Really makes one think... What good is a big spaceship if it doesn't have a massive death laser? It's like having a dwarf with no beard.
A dwarf with no beard? THOSE WORDS ARE BLASPHEMY!
DO NOT BLASPHEME!
DO NOT BLASPHEME!
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on April 12, 2012, 09:13:47 am
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 12, 2012, 10:02:25 am
Hmmm.... A lack of emotion with no other gain, sounds terrible. Exploitable flaws are fun!Wouldn't you like to be a robot, too?Pitiful "compassion" and "restraint" would be removed, as they are the obstacles of ambition.A very human concept, wouldn't you think?
And restraint is all too important, how else do you think the red button has not yet been pressed?
Post by: Oliolli on April 12, 2012, 12:37:41 pm
Who says it hasn't?Hmmm.... A lack of emotion with no other gain, sounds terrible. Exploitable flaws are fun!Wouldn't you like to be a robot, too?Pitiful "compassion" and "restraint" would be removed, as they are the obstacles of ambition.A very human concept, wouldn't you think?
And restraint is all too important, how else do you think the red button has not yet been pressed?
Post by: Eric Blank on April 12, 2012, 12:42:35 pm
Post by: wierd on April 12, 2012, 12:51:43 pm
I've roofsmashed him, bridgapulted him, and given him advanced rot with forgotten beast ichor!
Where have you guys been!?
Post by: Oliolli on April 12, 2012, 12:52:55 pm
The fact that Corai hasn't been launched into the incinerator yet.
Well, we can remedy that.
/me presses red button.
What are you talking about?!
I've roofsmashed him, bridgapulted him, and given him advanced rot with forgotten beast ichor!
Where have you guys been!?
Not incinerated yet.
Except now he has been.
Post by: wierd on April 12, 2012, 12:55:08 pm
Dwarves and magma, dwarves and magma... don't I get style points for the ichor soaked trouser trap?
Post by: Eric Blank on April 12, 2012, 12:59:06 pm
Don't worry, there are plenty of other kobolds to perform experiments on.
Post by: Oliolli on April 12, 2012, 01:00:08 pm
Dammit, I should be writing an essay right now...
Post by: wierd on April 12, 2012, 01:03:05 pm
I suppose the incinerator trap could be spawn of hollistic based.... but containment would be a challenge.... are you sure you want to put "canunlockdoors" kobolds in there?
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 12, 2012, 01:03:06 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on April 12, 2012, 01:05:55 pm
Make it involve red buttons.
A chamber filled with red buttons that read DO NOT PRESS that his mischievious mind forces him to press as rapidly as physics will permit, the sheer friction between his palms and the buttons causes him to ignite? :P
Post by: wierd on April 12, 2012, 01:12:13 pm
Suggest inclusion of pressure plate inceration activator between said buttons.
Post by: Oliolli on April 12, 2012, 01:15:40 pm
It doesn't matter the essay is due in 14 hours (8 of which I'll be sleeping and one of which I'll be travelling to school), I've got posts to make!
And as everyone knows, a Bay12er's brain
Post by: KodKod on April 12, 2012, 01:17:25 pm
Post by: Oliolli on April 12, 2012, 01:18:52 pm
Post by: wierd on April 12, 2012, 01:21:57 pm
(Envisions a sadistic cross between floor grates, and steel traps.)
Press button and *whammo!*, two spring loaded floor grates with kinetically dishcarged daggers between the grate bars snap shut on the victim, impaling and crushing them at the same time, iron maiden style.
Post by: Talvieno on April 12, 2012, 01:25:44 pm
He's like a cockroach. Just when you think you have him, boom! There he is.You sure you want Spawn of Holistic running around, trapped or not? :P
I suppose the incinerator trap could be spawn of hollistic based.... but containment would be a challenge.... are you sure you want to put "canunlockdoors" kobolds in there?
But come on, be more creative! Shove him in a beehive, run him through a screw pump, or distill him or something (though, honestly, kobold beer doesn't sound that appetizing).
Post by: wierd on April 12, 2012, 01:29:53 pm
I have one perfectly designed for dwarven children in mind..... doesn't involve candy!
Post by: tahujdt on April 12, 2012, 01:54:08 pm
Adept Swordsman
Adequate blacksmith (Rusty)
Skilled Woodcutter
Proficient Swimmer
Adequate Carpenter
Novice gem cutter
Legendary Reader
Tahujdt likes granite, olivine, steel, Warhammer 40k mod, Dwarf Fortress, Boy Scouts for their rediness and cats for their fuzzy tummies. When possible, he prefers to consume Coca-Cola, pizza, tacos, and Krispy Kreme glazed donuts. He absolutely detests Mac computers.
Post by: wierd on April 12, 2012, 02:43:39 pm
Liquid Tantrum! (tm)
Everyone is familiar with the classic dwarven staple of plump helmet wine.... but suppose for a moment, that you added a handful of blanched shaggy mane inkcaps to the must!
The result? Liquid Tantrum!
While the inkcaps themselves are perfectly edible when freshly picked and cooked, they contain a value added twist that makes them every dwarves worst nightmare! They contain "coprine", (Disulfiram), which actively inhibits the digestion of alcohol past the acetaldehyde intermediate stage, resulting in unbelievable hangovers just MINUTES after drinking!
Need a dwarf to become beligerant and violent, and need it right now? You need Liquid Tantrum!
Also available in Riot Roasts!
(Brought to you by the makers of the cyannobar, and steamed ricin!)
Post by: Talvieno on April 12, 2012, 03:05:14 pm
You stand back from the wall confused, wondering how someone could hold such a hatred of elves - wondering why this simple miner, and indeed, the whole of The Twelfth Bay, hated them so much. But you lack an answer, and in lacking an answer, you are given the drive to continue your search for information. Lifting your lamp from the table, you continue down the narrow corridor, passing old stone doors to the left and right. On a whim, you stop, turning and opening the door on your left. The stone door swings open slowly, heavily, revealing a small room with a cabinet, chest, and an old, broken wooden bed. Despite the light of torch and lantern flickering off the smooth walls of yellowed orthoclase, it's difficult to see - but it matters not. There's not really anything there anyway, you decide, and continue onwards, ever deeper into the mountain. The farther you progress, the more the orthoclase walls are speckled with pale blue microcline, until there is as much of one as the other.
Finally you see what you've been looking for - a smooth patch, covered in text. To the left of it is an engraving of a piano, which the inhabitants of The Twelfth Bay were rumored to invent. To the right is a masterfully detailed image of a human slaying a giant kea with a crossbow, and it catches your eye. You brush away the cobwebs at the bottom and attempt to read the title and description, but alas - it has been chipped away by some long-forgotten accident. Disappointed, you straighten, and after gently brushing away the dust from the entry with your palm, you begin to read.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: KodKod on April 12, 2012, 03:18:32 pm
Sacrifice them in the temple! Blood for
Post by: Oliolli on April 12, 2012, 03:35:58 pm
Post by: Talvieno on April 12, 2012, 03:40:45 pm
I am genuinely surprised it was my dorf who organized the party. In reality I'd stay away from such events for two reasons: firstly, there'd probably be too many people around, and second, it would stop me from doing my work for no good reason.Remember to take into account that your system is constantly heavily saturated with alcohol. :P
Post by: Oliolli on April 12, 2012, 03:42:15 pm
Post by: Naryar on April 12, 2012, 03:44:54 pm
Competent Speardwarf
Skilled Fighter
Adequate Armor User
Adequate Dodger
Adequate Wrestler
Novice Striker
Skilled Mechanic
Competent Metalsmith
Skilled Furnace Operator
Naryar, Adept of Spears, Cogs and Iron has been quite content lately. He has been attacked lately. He sustained minor injuries lately. He took joy in slaughter. He admired a fine Trap lately. He has been satisfied at work. He had a pretty decent drink lately.
His fourth finger, left hand is gone. His lower body is dented. His left upper leg is dented.
Post by: wierd on April 12, 2012, 04:06:42 pm
A hydraulically powered bridge lifter will be quite powerful indeed, however, not particularly fast on reaction time without sacrificing raw force in footpounds.
(See for instance, using a small but heavy gear wheel to turn a much larger one, increasing the velocity of rotation proportional to the loss of torque.)
This also creates an unecessarily complicated mechanism.
A simple counterweight on chains with single pulleys can raise the bridge at 52 feet per second; the rate of accelleration of a large falling body. The hydraulic system is better used to reset the deadfall counterweight bridge raising system, than to raise the bridge in the desired "uncontrolled" manner.
The advantage of the counterweight system is that it is both forcecul and expedient. It should be possible to actually launch any "pedestrians" on the bridge into a nice aereal flight plan, in the opposite direction of the desired egress.
Given the recent failure of our elven euthanasia attempt, I suggest we expand our preparations for the coming elven sieges.
Additional:
Instead of rasing the bridge, consider "spring loaded" bridge, with mechanical latch-down.
Hydraulic winch pulls the bridge down contrary to the giant springs underneath. A cog latch holds the bridge down, until the release pin is pulled.
Bridge blasts off the foundation as spring energy is violently released.
Potential for violent energy release could cause whiplash in crossing pedestrians, and fatal mooshing upon landing.
Possible to send the elves to a very far away plce with bridgeapult type ferocity.
Post by: davros on April 12, 2012, 04:20:43 pm
Quite true, the only emotion I possess is a churning, tempestuous rage.
nose
left eye
middle eye
right eye
left eye tooth
right eye tooth
heart
She's not joking, you know.
We've got a girl beating up a guy. Get some giant robots and we'll have Nerv.
Odds are that won't be a good thing.
Davros has fallen into a deep melancholy.
Post by: Splint on April 12, 2012, 04:26:47 pm
...and in reality I don't drink alcohol. At all.
Well it's that or water, and water gets a bit boring after a while.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 12, 2012, 04:35:24 pm
We should acquire as many exotic egg-laying animals as possible.
Post by: wierd on April 12, 2012, 04:41:33 pm
Personally, I would probably end up making virgin fruitjuice smoothies (we DO have access to sugar afterall), and tea for people like myself with an inherited intolerance for alcohol.
Kodkod would be angry that the tea was served with sugar cubes but no milk though. No amount of delicious strawberry tea buscuits would please her over the affront I think.
Post by: Talvieno on April 12, 2012, 05:01:41 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
As to the mechanisms being overcomplicated, have you ever looked at the insides of an old pocketwatch? (eh, probably not, they're not around much anymore, sadly...) Anyway, complicated is good. And gears tend to hold up pretty well, too, provided they're not strained. As to springs... They don't hold up well, as a rule - they break easily. And the bigger they are, the more easily they snap. (though I love the catapult idea)
As to the counterweights... I don't know... That might work, yeah. It would have to be one helluva big counterweight to get it to work, though... I doubt the hydraulic system would work that quickly, but eh. I had to explain it somehow, and that seemed the most likely. Plus, we have dwarven pumps. Those things rival warp engines. lol
...and in reality I don't drink alcohol. At all.Yep, but this is semi-dwarf Oliolli. You have a dwarven metabolism - you need alcohol to keep going. And so do I. But in reality, I don't drink alcohol at all either.
Well we could order someYou're evil. I love eggnog. Now you've made me want some again.cowswhatever large herbivorous mammal for milking. And some chickens/whatever else for eggs. Eventually we'll have all the ingredients to produce enough eggnog for the community around Goblin Christmas. Or Granite 1st, if Goblin Christmas proves to be too frequent.
We should acquire as many exotic egg-laying animals as possible.
We must have eggs and milk. Must. The human race cannot survive without eggnog.
Not even a quirky reply to my liquid tantrum post. :(Or, you could just make her more chocolate soap. She said she might eat it.
Personally, I would probably end up making virgin fruitjuice smoothies (we DO have access to sugar afterall), and tea for people like myself with an inherited intolerance for alcohol.
Kodkod would be angry that the tea was served with sugar cubes but no milk though. No amount of delicious strawberry tea buscuits would please her over the affront I think.
EDIT: Also: should I continue?
Post by: KodKod on April 12, 2012, 05:14:03 pm
Kodkod would be angry that the tea was served with sugar cubes but no milk though. No amount of delicious strawberry tea buscuits would please her over the affront I think.
On the contrary, I'd probably be far too drunk to notice.
If the dwarven metabolism allows them to effectively process alcohol to avoid drunkenness then the problem is that they're not drinking enough of it, something that I was rectify in my own case. Less for you teetotalers, more for me!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 12, 2012, 06:41:51 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Corai on April 12, 2012, 08:27:11 pm
Dwarf....thief.....
....Steel-clad thief with adamanite dagger....
Be right back, ill be at a elf forest to steal some.....axes, yea, woodcutting axes.......
Post by: Tsuchigumo550 on April 12, 2012, 08:49:56 pm
And you may or may not want me near the traps. It will either break when I try and tinker with it, I'll accidentally kill myself on it, or we'll suddenly have a trap with ten reciprocating spears shaped oddly like giant phalluses, and a giant
Aside from the sudden level of Urist McFreud spam, children might go... missing. Into a secret project of mine. I can guarantee that at best 50% will live and become great additions to the military!
I'm a madder man than the regular drunken dwarf, i is!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 12, 2012, 08:54:44 pm
Leave me in charge of weird engravings...But can you engrave... this?
And you may or may not want me near the traps. It will either break when I try and tinker with it, I'll accidentally kill myself on it, or we'll suddenly have a trap with ten reciprocating spears shaped oddly like giant phalluses, and a giantcockscrewcorkscrew in the middle adorned with rings of goblin guts. All of my traps are Freudian. Some of them also have fun little touches, like a nameplate with a thinly veiled dick joke as the name.
Aside from the sudden level of Urist McFreud spam, children might go... missing. Into a secret project of mine. I can guarantee that at best 50% will live and become great additions to the military!
I'm a madder man than the regular drunken dwarf, i is!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3iOROuTuMA
Post by: wierd on April 12, 2012, 10:09:42 pm
(Whatever you do, don't watch "spoilsberry toast boy", by the same creator. It is........beyond disturbed. Salad fingers is tame.)
Post by: Corai on April 12, 2012, 10:12:43 pm
This is a engraving of kobolds and dwarves, the dwarves are drowning, the kobold is stealing, this relates to the drowning of dwarves in 198.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 12, 2012, 10:34:45 pm
Post by: Corai on April 12, 2012, 10:42:17 pm
A kobold has stolen a kea leather-bound journal!
This is Xesthuian the eternal love. It is a masterwork kea leather-bound journal! It menaces with spikes with diorite, it circles with rings of copper. On the back is a picture of kobolds and dwarves.
Post by: Fen on April 12, 2012, 10:50:31 pm
Leave me in charge of weird engravings...
And you may or may not want me near the traps. It will either break when I try and tinker with it, I'll accidentally kill myself on it, or we'll suddenly have a trap with ten reciprocating spears shaped oddly like giant phalluses, and a giantcockscrewcorkscrew in the middle adorned with rings of goblin guts. All of my traps are Freudian. Some of them also have fun little touches, like a nameplate with a thinly veiled dick joke as the name.
Aside from the sudden level of Urist McFreud spam, children might go... missing. Into a secret project of mine. I can guarantee that at best 50% will live and become great additions to the military!
I'm a madder man than the regular drunken dwarf, i is!
Mate, we've got the weirdest engravings around. See that one over there? The one that looks like it fits somewhere inbetween two and three dimensions, and makes your eyes hurt when you look at it? I made that three weeks ago, and nobody knows what the hell it is, including me. I suspect greatly however that it is an engraving of a goat cheese.
On the subject of Moods, however, I'd like to ask that if I were to go insane from a mood, that it be prevented; I have quite a lot of willpower and could probably cope with it enough to survive, granted I would be incredibly pissed at myself for the rest of my life and never let it go...
Also, Forumite is listed as both an arriving human-migrant and as previously dying in the fortress in that most recent update. You should definitely continue writing more entries because they are awesome, and like Hugo Luman, I may very well begin writing my own journal with a different viewpoint of the happenings of the Twelfth Bay Fortress.
Post by: Corai on April 12, 2012, 10:53:37 pm
The Journal of HugoLumanSpoiler (click to show/hide)
I got that book!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 12, 2012, 10:54:04 pm
A kobold has stolen a kea leather-bound journal!
This is Xesthuian the eternal love. It is a masterwork kea leather-bound journal! It menaces with spikes with diorite, it circles with rings of copper. On the back is a picture of kobolds and dwarves.
Can I have my journal back now?
Post by: Corai on April 12, 2012, 10:56:41 pm
A kobold has stolen a kea leather-bound journal!
This is Xesthuian the eternal love. It is a masterwork kea leather-bound journal! It menaces with spikes with diorite, it circles with rings of copper. On the back is a picture of kobolds and dwarves.
Can I have my journal back now?
The kobold turns, looks in fear, then recognizes the speak.
"Hello Hugoluman, I see I got your journal, and from what I read, you seem to be seeing kittens and wanting to spread goverment. Maybe your dwarven-friends may wish to hear"
Post by: WillowLuman on April 12, 2012, 11:01:42 pm
That journal is all I have in the world. I will give you as many xX+Donkey leather socks+Xx as you want for it. And I'll read you bedtime stories about Deebus. Please give me my journal! It doesn't contain the secrets of life and death (...yet) so I can't see it being any use to anyone but me.A kobold has stolen a kea leather-bound journal!
This is Xesthuian the eternal love. It is a masterwork kea leather-bound journal! It menaces with spikes with diorite, it circles with rings of copper. On the back is a picture of kobolds and dwarves.
Can I have my journal back now?
The kobold turns, looks in fear, then recognizes the speak.
"Hello Hugoluman, I see I got your journal, and from what I read, you seem to be seeing kittens and wanting to spread goverment. Maybe your dwarven-friends may wish to hear"
PS don't remember naming it that or having those decorations. Must be [UTTERANCES]. That or you've already showed it to someone...
Post by: Morpha on April 12, 2012, 11:02:16 pm
Post by: Corai on April 12, 2012, 11:04:32 pm
That journal is all I have in the world. I will give you as many xX+Donkey leather socks+Xx as you want for it. And I'll read you bedtime stories about Deebus. Please give me my journal! It doesn't contain the secrets of life and death (...yet) so I can't see it being any use to anyone but me.A kobold has stolen a kea leather-bound journal!
This is Xesthuian the eternal love. It is a masterwork kea leather-bound journal! It menaces with spikes with diorite, it circles with rings of copper. On the back is a picture of kobolds and dwarves.
Can I have my journal back now?
The kobold turns, looks in fear, then recognizes the speak.
"Hello Hugoluman, I see I got your journal, and from what I read, you seem to be seeing kittens and wanting to spread goverment. Maybe your dwarven-friends may wish to hear"
PS don't remember naming it that or having those decorations. Must be [UTTERANCES]. That or you've already showed it to someone...
The kobold begins running out the door, which strangely had a doggy-door, then out the perimeter walls.
A thief! Stop them!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 12, 2012, 11:06:31 pm
HugoLuman gives in to pain
HugoLuman falls over
EDIT: KodKod, did you add doggy-doors?
Post by: Corai on April 12, 2012, 11:15:00 pm
The voices are screaming in HugoLuman's mind!
HugoLuman gives in to pain
HugoLuman falls over
EDIT: KodKod, did you add doggy-doors?
Doors in DF have em, cause pets can go through. Pet-passable means unlocked doggy-door.
Guilt strikes CoraiUnki!
The Kea Leather journal has been butchered! Pages on evil plans have been removed!
A thief has stolen *Evil Plans*!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 12, 2012, 11:24:06 pm
A page has been found in the dining hall
Post by: Corai on April 12, 2012, 11:25:09 pm
I appreciate the sentiment, but there was only one page with writing on it. Oh well, as long as word doesn't get out.
A page has been found in the dining hall
What is this?
KODKOD, WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING!
KodKod, the hells with the kittens?
I assume thats what would happen if I decided to steal your book. The end.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 12, 2012, 11:32:54 pm
Phew. I'm glad everyone would think it was a ploy by Kodkod. Well, let's never speak of this again, kobold *wink*I appreciate the sentiment, but there was only one page with writing on it. Oh well, as long as word doesn't get out.
A page has been found in the dining hall
What is this?
KODKOD, WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING!
KodKod, the hells with the kittens?
I assume thats what would happen if I decided to steal your book. The end.
Post by: Corai on April 12, 2012, 11:34:08 pm
Phew. I'm glad everyone would think it was a ploy by Kodkod. Well, let's never speak of this again, kobold *wink*I appreciate the sentiment, but there was only one page with writing on it. Oh well, as long as word doesn't get out.
A page has been found in the dining hall
What is this?
KODKOD, WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING!
KodKod, the hells with the kittens?
I assume thats what would happen if I decided to steal your book. The end.
You owe me stories. And *Rope Reed cloth Socks*, theres titan-blood everywhere. I barely avoid it.
Post by: KodKod on April 12, 2012, 11:35:47 pm
Post by: Corai on April 12, 2012, 11:37:46 pm
Do not so nonchalantly invoke my name.
...I thought you were offline.
Oh god, I just discovered the KodKod signal! Just non-chalantly say "KodKod" when you need mass-death!
...Brb going to a elf-forest.
Post by: Zaerosz on April 12, 2012, 11:52:41 pm
EDIT: Wait, I was entombed? Dammit. When you guys unearth magma, chuck me into it and slab me.
Post by: Cellmonk on April 13, 2012, 12:15:45 am
I'd also have a huge beard. It would make it difficult to walk. But it wouldn't stop me from destroying warm floodgates.
Post by: Oliolli on April 13, 2012, 12:21:03 am
Heck, if I knew what was going on in the fort better I'd start writing my own things as well :P
Do not so nonchalantly invoke my name.
...I thought you were offline.
Oh god, I just discovered the KodKod signal! Just non-chalantly say "KodKod" when you need mass-death!
Every forum has someone like that. Simply saying their name causes them to appear in the thread.
Post by: Masked_Hunter1825 on April 13, 2012, 12:27:15 am
Kobold Thief CoraiUnki has been struck down.
The Forgotten Beast Odog Delutioum has become enraged!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 13, 2012, 12:44:48 am
Entry 2
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: WillowLuman on April 13, 2012, 12:47:13 am
There once was a Kobold named Deebus
Who wanted to go off and leave us
The storm granted his wish
The wind gave a swish
And he was left with many miles between us
Post by: Eric Blank on April 13, 2012, 01:49:57 am
Should have stayed in the cave!
Post by: Naryar on April 13, 2012, 01:52:37 am
Post by: Eric Blank on April 13, 2012, 01:58:16 am
Post by: HmH on April 13, 2012, 02:58:48 am
He's ourHey, that's a good idea.slavelovably helpful pet. We should convince him to bring his entire tribe and move into the stockpiles. Useful if they're stealing stuff and bringing it to the stockpiles because they live there. Cheap haulers.
Except we could give them not the stockpiles, but a state-of-the-art, wonderfully smooth artificial cave, furnished with bags and coffers, with even an emergency purging mechanism built in, and request their archers' assistance every time we have troubles with sieges.
Ever played the 'Smart Kobold'? If anyone can pull off subterrarean guerilla warfare, it's these guys.
Post by: Sus on April 13, 2012, 10:09:48 am
This is an olivine mechanisms. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. This object is menacing with spikes of jet and emerald and decorated with hanging rings of bismuth bronze.
On this item is a picture of KodKod, the deity of kobolds, vengeance and derailing, depicted as a female human, and kobolds in kobold bone. The kobolds are melting. KodKod is laughing, This artwork relates to the revealing of the secrets of embarking on a kobold cave (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=107079.msg3181943#msg3181943) by KodKod in 2012.
On this item is a picture of Oliolli the dwarf and humans in green tourmaline. Oliolli is refusing the humans.
On this item is an image of 'Sus' Bibandeler the dwarf in Spawn of Holistic bone. 'Sus' Bibandeler is in a fetal position. This artwork relates to the death of the dwarf 'Sus' Bibandeler in Spearbreakers (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=102730.945) in 205.
Post by: Talvieno on April 13, 2012, 12:14:31 pm
Keep going Talvieno, please. Those journals are awesome.Thanks, Oliolli. :P If you'd like, I could send the save your way. I'm kind of losing track of Spearbreakers, anyway... Does anyone else want me to continue it (The Twelfth Bay), or...?
Heck, if I knew what was going on in the fort better I'd start writing my own things as well :PSpoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Splint on April 13, 2012, 12:23:56 pm
Post by: Oliolli on April 13, 2012, 12:49:47 pm
Post by: Talvieno on April 13, 2012, 02:18:49 pm
And so one of the most deranged concepts for a succession game began.Rules:
- No assigning jobs to named characters - they choose their own jobs in-thread.
- Suggestions in the thread must be taken seriously and implemented if at all possible.
- Nobody can die! At least, not forumgoers.
- People can only be haulers if they have only one other task. (such as people who only choose brewing, for instance)
Post by: Oliolli on April 13, 2012, 02:36:32 pm
Which version is this in, by the way? 0.34.07?
The non-forumite dwarves are expendable, right?
Gah, too many :P s used in the last four posts...
Post by: Talvieno on April 13, 2012, 02:58:06 pm
The version is 0.34.07, yes. And non-forumgoers are completely expendable.
:( And yes, :P I am well aware of the fact that I use smilies too much. :-\ (>^.^)> I am attempting to fix that. ;D :o ::) 8)
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 13, 2012, 04:16:18 pm
The non-forumite dwarves are expendable, right?
EveryDwarf equal. EveryDwarf expendable. Overseer is always watching you.
Post by: Oliolli on April 13, 2012, 04:48:51 pm
The non-forumite dwarves are expendable, right?
EveryDwarf equal. EveryDwarf expendable. Overseer is always watching you.
I feel double-plus happy hearing that.
Post by: Naryar on April 13, 2012, 05:43:45 pm
The non-forumite dwarves are expendable, right?
EveryDwarf equal. EveryDwarf expendable. Overseer is always watching you.
why are you giving more domination ideas to Kodkod ?
Post by: Eric Blank on April 13, 2012, 05:51:54 pm
Post by: Fen on April 13, 2012, 06:03:37 pm
Because Kodkod couldn't dominate us. Nobody could non-consensually dominate our community and survive more than an hour. Except Toady and Threetoe. They'd probably still have a ban button somewhere on them that catapults us straight tot he HFS.
This is true; everyone here is a Dwarf Fortress player, which means we're all crazy bastards. Some of us are crazier, more bastardy, or more aggressively crazy bastardy, but nobody is someone to mess with for an extended period of time. Even if you can boss around one person, just about everyone else wouldn't like that much.
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 13, 2012, 06:27:52 pm
Because Kodkod couldn't dominate us. Nobody could non-consensually dominate our community and survive more than an hour. Except Toady and Threetoe. They'd probably still have a ban button somewhere on them that catapults us straight tot he HFS.
This is accurate, I had devised a system of mass producing godless abominations exactly three days after doing so became possible. Kodkod may have her scorpions but I am the master of undeath, Girlgenius inevitably has a pit full of murderous children, and Sphalerite built a whale pen with parts that he harvested from the murdered bodies of physics and logic.
Post by: KodKod on April 13, 2012, 06:41:32 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 13, 2012, 06:44:55 pm
Because Kodkod couldn't dominate us. Nobody could non-consensually dominate our community and survive more than an hour. Except Toady and Threetoe. They'd probably still have a ban button somewhere on them that catapults us straight tot he HFS.
This is accurate, I had devised a system of mass producing godless abominations exactly three days after doing so became possible. Kodkod may have her scorpions but I am the master of undeath, Girlgenius inevitably has a pit full of murderous children, and Sphalerite built a whale pen with parts that he harvested from the murdered bodies of physics and logic.
☼eyeless Dwarfs☼
Post by: Corai on April 13, 2012, 07:50:40 pm
He's ourHey, that's a good idea.slavelovably helpful pet. We should convince him to bring his entire tribe and move into the stockpiles. Useful if they're stealing stuff and bringing it to the stockpiles because they live there. Cheap haulers.
Except we could give them not the stockpiles, but a state-of-the-art, wonderfully smooth artificial cave, furnished with bags and coffers, with even an emergency purging mechanism built in, and request their archers' assistance every time we have troubles with sieges.
Ever played the 'Smart Kobold'? If anyone can pull off subterrarean guerilla warfare, it's these guys.
So true, once in vanilla I had three squads of kobolds take down a candy-troop with wooden arrows cause they were going guerrilla.
The non-forumite dwarves are expendable, right?
EveryDwarf equal. EveryDwarf expendable. Overseer is always watching you.
why are you giving more domination ideas to Kodkod ?
I ALREADY MADE A CULT, SAW IT WAS JUST FEEDING THE BEAST, AND STOPPED.
Fun fact: KodKod is the reason im a kobold.
How does it feel you caused a un-killable kobold to be created KodKod. Your worst enemey can now never go excint. All your fault. Heheheehe.
Post by: Splint on April 13, 2012, 07:56:17 pm
Post by: Corai on April 13, 2012, 07:59:39 pm
She may not be able to exterminate you, but I doubt you can asexually reproduce.
CoraiUnki slits his own throat! x2000
CoraiUnki2001 has learned the secrets of life and death!
The age of Kobolds
Post by: Splint on April 13, 2012, 08:01:25 pm
Post by: Corai on April 13, 2012, 08:03:25 pm
I don't see how being a blood doner unlocks the secretes of life and death. You'd still be cursed as the last of your kind.
I always reappear cause this is THE INTERNET.
Then I kobold a Necro's book, raise my clones. And go on to cause a zombie-apoc, and if I fail, just repeat x3000.
Post by: Splint on April 13, 2012, 08:04:59 pm
Post by: Corai on April 13, 2012, 08:07:52 pm
..... I was thinking in terms of the actual game; You'd be KodKod's bitch until she died of old age/insanity/what have you. Then probably a giant whatever's chew toy.
................KodKod is a.....no, find it yourself.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
And second, I would go on to unite the kobolds under own empire, teach english, go on to teach them how to butcher and farm, stop thieving, make laws, make peace, then get wiped out by KodKod's ghost who I forgot to slab.
Post by: Splint on April 13, 2012, 08:13:05 pm
Post by: Corai on April 13, 2012, 08:13:53 pm
He. She. It. WHATEVER.
Oh, shes a she, its which she
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Eric Blank on April 13, 2012, 08:20:38 pm
..... I was thinking in terms of the actual game; You'd be KodKod's bitch until she died of old age/insanity/what have you. Then probably a giant whatever's chew toy.
................KodKod is a.....no, find it yourself.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
And second, I would go on to unite the kobolds under own empire, teach english, go on to teach them how to butcher and farm, stop thieving, make laws, make peace, then get wiped out by KodKod's ghost who I forgot to slab.
But first you'll lead your entire tribe to our fortress so they can live in their own little palace with at least 40% of the awesomeness of the rest of the fortress (which will end up being a LOT). The palace will have lots of floorspace and also the record keeper's room right by the entrance. You will all steal random unclaimed non-furniture, non-food items and bring them to the palace and throw them on the floor, showing them to the record keeper as you enter. You will then let us take them back whenever we need them for fear of ‼death‼
In return for your privelages 1) to live here in an incredibly awesome palace, 2) have a snack occasionally and 3) carry out your kleptomaniac habits almost as much as you please without being murdered you will:
1) Assist in defending our mutual home. Bring your archers. There will be fortifications.
2) steal shit from the goblins, especially all their iron gear. We'll assist you in improving your methods so you don't die quite as often as you normally do.
3) respect all inhabitants of the fortress, and answer to them if they request your assistance in any matters and/or worship of them.
Sign here, or we'll wipe your petty species off the face of this planet
___________________
Post by: Corai on April 13, 2012, 08:26:43 pm
..... I was thinking in terms of the actual game; You'd be KodKod's bitch until she died of old age/insanity/what have you. Then probably a giant whatever's chew toy.
................KodKod is a.....no, find it yourself.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
And second, I would go on to unite the kobolds under own empire, teach english, go on to teach them how to butcher and farm, stop thieving, make laws, make peace, then get wiped out by KodKod's ghost who I forgot to slab.
But first you'll lead your entire tribe to our fortress so they can live in their own little palace with at least 40% of the awesomeness of the rest of the fortress (which will end up being a LOT). The palace will have lots of floorspace and also the record keeper's room right by the entrance. You will all steal random unclaimed non-furniture, non-food items and bring them to the palace and throw them on the floor, showing them to the record keeper as you enter. You will then let us take them back whenever we need them for fear of ‼death‼
In return for your privelages 1) to live here in an incredibly awesome palace, 2) have a snack occasionally and 3) carry out your kleptomaniac habits almost as much as you please without being murdered you will:
1) Assist in defending our mutual home. Bring your archers. There will be fortifications.
2) steal shit from the goblins, especially all their iron gear. We'll assist you in improving your methods so you don't die quite as often as you normally do.
3) respect all inhabitants of the fortress, and answer to them if they request your assistance in any matters and/or worship of them.
Sign here, or we'll wipe your petty species off the face of this planet
___________________
Counter proposal, freedom of worship, and I we all get a troll fur sock, not a pair, ONE.
Cause were that awesome.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 13, 2012, 08:27:28 pm
Then I kobold a Necro's book, raise my clones. And go on to cause a zombie-apoc, and if I fail, just repeat x3000.
You Kobolded a Necro's book?
Hmm... I do worry about what would happen should one of us stumble upon a book written by Necro910.
"The book is roughly 90 pages long, and is on fire. It has it's moments of wit. It concerns the secrets of magma, magma and more magma."
Post by: wierd on April 13, 2012, 08:36:48 pm
The cover shows mysterious hammer marks.
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 13, 2012, 09:39:25 pm
Clearly I have done something to cause a mass-underestimation of me. I shall ensure to rectify this in the future.I think it's more that being part of the forums implies that you are a complete and total psychopath and many participants have some manner of debauchery as their claim to fame. I don't really recall you personally having done anything particularly groundbreaking in the field of insanity.
Post by: KodKod on April 13, 2012, 09:41:37 pm
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 13, 2012, 09:45:33 pm
My achievements are not limited to Dwarf Fortress.Michael Jordan didn't get to add his career baskets to his runs.
Post by: wierd on April 13, 2012, 09:54:44 pm
For one happily married couple, I transformed the husband into a minotaur, and locked them in the same room.
For another, I transformed the wife into a dog.
I then went on a silliness spree, and transformed all the kittens into dwarch children, and the baron into an elf.
When I was done, I uncorked the eerie glowing pits, and let the tentacle demons out.
The most hilarious part? The wife of the minotaur miscarried twice, and the dwarf's bitcdh wife birthed healthy puppies that weren't his.
Post by: Corai on April 13, 2012, 09:56:27 pm
Once, back in the 40d days, I used DF companion for some lulz.
For one happily married couple, I transformed the husband into a minotaur, and locked them in the same room.
For another, I transformed the wife into a dog.
I then went on a silliness spree, and transformed all the kittens into dwarch children, and the baron into an elf.
When I was done, I uncorked the eerie glowing pits, and let the tentacle demons out.
The most hilarious part? The wife of the minotaur miscarried twice, and the dwarf's bitcdh wife birthed healthy puppies that weren't his.
"Honey, it was a mis-WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT STRAY!"
Post by: KodKod on April 13, 2012, 10:03:42 pm
My achievements are not limited to Dwarf Fortress.Michael Jordan didn't get to add his career baskets to his runs.
I don't know who that is and I'm quite sure I have no idea what you're talking about.
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 13, 2012, 10:06:26 pm
I don't know who that is and I'm quite sure I have no idea what you're talking about.
It was a terrible metaphor. Michael Jordan was repeatedly an awesome basketball player and briefly a terrible baseball player (at the moment he's rocking a hitler moustache and sells mens underwear) the idea was that Dorf Cred is nontransferable.
Post by: wierd on April 13, 2012, 10:09:27 pm
Pimped himself out hard to advertisers over the years. First nike for their "air jordan" line, and later to hanes underwear.
Never was much into sports, but as a kid, all the other brats were all "michael jordan this!" And michael jordan that!"
Blah.
Post by: KodKod on April 13, 2012, 10:11:41 pm
For instance: If, in a completely hypothetical scenario, I I was an 8ft tall cyborg, more machine than KodKod, possessing laser death rays and missle pods, that'd make a slight bit of difference after I get dumped in the land of Oz by the tornado.
Post by: wierd on April 13, 2012, 10:13:26 pm
How would you recharge your power cells!? Them lasers don't power themseves!
Post by: Corai on April 13, 2012, 10:15:37 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHohfu
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 13, 2012, 10:17:12 pm
I had assumed that since we're talking about being put in a position in which we are whisked away toI guess it depends on whether Bay12 the forum is the mountain home or just the name of the hypothetical mountain home.a magical wonderlandDwarf Fortress that various other factors would be transferrable.
For instance: If, in a completely hypothetical scenario, I I was an 8ft tall cyborg, more machine than KodKod, possessing laser death rays and missle pods, that'd make a slight bit of difference after I get dumped in the land of Oz by the tornado.
Post by: wierd on April 13, 2012, 10:18:41 pm
MUAHAHAHAH!
Here little kobold.... want to try my special patented liquid tantrum?! Garanteed non-leathal! (This time...)
Post by: Corai on April 13, 2012, 10:21:08 pm
Kobold, smobold, I'm a mad scientist!
MUAHAHAHAH!
Here little kobold.... want to try my special patented liquid tantrum?! Garanteed non-leathal! (This time...)
.......I may be a kobold now, but I kept my memeories like all of you.
SO I AM A GOD TO KOBOLDS, and humans, and elves, and goblins, heck, we all are!
KodKod isnt though, Armok will whisk her up to be his wife, as she is a women-Armok.
Post by: wierd on April 13, 2012, 10:23:10 pm
Kodkod doesn't play that way. She will make the blood god drown in his own blood, and shriek like a greek fury while doing it.
Post by: Corai on April 13, 2012, 10:24:49 pm
His funeral.....
Kodkod doesn't play that way. She will make the blood god drown in his own blood, and shriek like a greek fury while doing it.
She would probaly be stuffed in a room of solid blood, with the gods standing forever watch with there Adamanite Or slade weapons, if there a god of death. Allowing her out only on Armok's commands, and with several hundred gods with crossbows pointing at her, all ready to shred the human.
Post by: Sabreur on April 13, 2012, 10:29:16 pm
<<Part3 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=106539.msg3180072#msg3180072)
You stand back from the wall confused, wondering how someone could hold such a hatred of elves - wondering why this simple miner, and indeed, the whole of The Twelfth Bay, hated them so much. But you lack an answer, and in lacking an answer, you are given the drive to continue your search for information. Lifting your lamp from the table, you continue down the narrow corridor, passing old stone doors to the left and right. On a whim, you stop, turning and opening the door on your left. The stone door swings open slowly, heavily, revealing a small room with a cabinet, chest, and an old, broken wooden bed. Despite the light of torch and lantern flickering off the smooth walls of yellowed orthoclase, it's difficult to see - but it matters not. There's not really anything there anyway, you decide, and continue onwards, ever deeper into the mountain. The farther you progress, the more the orthoclase walls are speckled with pale blue microcline, until there is as much of one as the other.
Finally you see what you've been looking for - a smooth patch, covered in text. To the left of it is an engraving of a piano, which the inhabitants of The Twelfth Bay were rumored to invent. To the right is a masterfully detailed image of a human slaying a giant kea with a crossbow, and it catches your eye. You brush away the cobwebs at the bottom and attempt to read the title and description, but alas - it has been chipped away by some long-forgotten accident. Disappointed, you straighten, and after gently brushing away the dust from the entry with your palm, you begin to read.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I managed to stab something! And not die in the process! That's way more success than I was expecting, to be honest. I was sure I'd be stuffing a coffin by now.
Post by: Corai on April 13, 2012, 10:39:13 pm
Heh, as long as its a kobold.
Post by: WaffleEggnog on April 13, 2012, 11:02:01 pm
Either that or people kill other people because of the lack of shoes, whichever one comes first.
Post by: wierd on April 13, 2012, 11:06:13 pm
I don't care if they would look girly. It would be better than foot blisters, frostbite, and ringworm.
I'd happily show anyone interested how to make their own too.
Post by: Corai on April 13, 2012, 11:07:54 pm
Left without shoes, I would just crochet some slippers.
I don't care if they would look girly. It would be better than foot blisters, frostbite, and ringworm.
I'd happily show anyone interested how to make their own too.
Kobold cancels steal, asking for lessons.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 13, 2012, 11:11:34 pm
BTW Kodkod, I have a scientific question. If I created cybermen and was allowed to chuck them into your scorpion pit, what would happen? Would they kill each other, or would they unite and cybernetic giant scorpions would emerge?
Also: I am a little confused, who is doing the fort?
Left without shoes, I would just crochet some slippers.Say, do you know how to make a coat? I've got this huge wool greatcoat that I'm very fond of
I don't care if they would look girly. It would be better than foot blisters, frostbite, and ringworm.
I'd happily show anyone interested how to make their own too.
Post by: Corai on April 13, 2012, 11:12:17 pm
My only claim to DF debauchery was starting a Communist succession game which, somewhat like real life, wound up a horribly mismanaged hell-hole. That and adding daleks. I've got nothing on many people around here. I started this thread out wanting to be a technical pacifist, but I seem to be slowly transforming into a split-personality mad scientist.
BTW Kodkod, I have a scientific question. If I created cybermen and was allowed to chuck them into your scorpion pit, what would happen? Would they kill each other, or would they unite and cybernetic giant scorpions would emerge?
Also: I am a little confused, who is doing the fort?
Talvenio.
Post by: wierd on April 13, 2012, 11:17:18 pm
A pair of slippers would be done in about 2 days, if I could work undisturbed.
I am currently making a cotton blanket for my sister.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 13, 2012, 11:20:00 pm
I could probably do a coat, but a big thing like that would take weeks to make.Even with the wool already woven?
A pair of slippers would be done in about 2 days, if I could work undisturbed.
I am currently making a cotton blanket for my sister.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 13, 2012, 11:22:25 pm
I could probably do a coat, but a big thing like that would take weeks to make.
A pair of slippers would be done in about 2 days, if I could work undisturbed.
I am currently making a cotton blanket for my sister.
Head Clothier you say? You're hired!
Post by: Corai on April 13, 2012, 11:23:50 pm
I could probably do a coat, but a big thing like that would take weeks to make.
A pair of slippers would be done in about 2 days, if I could work undisturbed.
I am currently making a cotton blanket for my sister.
Head Clothier you say? You're hired!
Does that mean I can leave the sweatshop?
Post by: Eric Blank on April 13, 2012, 11:27:14 pm
Post by: wierd on April 13, 2012, 11:28:03 pm
complimentary article (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crochet)
It is similar to Tatting (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tatting) and knitting (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knitting).
I can crochet, and can even do a few fancy patterns, and make fuzzy plush animals with it, but can't knit or tatt.
I can, however, card weave (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Card_weaving), and sprang (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sprang).
I also know how to tie fishing nets.
Post by: Corai on April 13, 2012, 11:29:52 pm
Nope! You're his apprentice and Head Hauler. We need clothes. And so do your kobold friends down in thehighly decorative stockpileskobold palace.
You realise im the ruler of those kobolds. With a flip of my fingers they will drop there jobs, claim bows and spears, and sucide rush your haulers, escape, and return with other tribes to lay siege to this place.
But then again I want them to live, so your damn lucky and-FEEBUS, FROM THE BOW, I SAY "BUT" THAT DOES NOT MEAN "KILL"! NOW DROP THE BOW, AND GO BACK TO GEM-CUTTING OR WHATEVER YOU DO.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: WillowLuman on April 13, 2012, 11:33:03 pm
Post by: wierd on April 13, 2012, 11:41:28 pm
Requires more thought, and careful measurements to make complex garments. I made a pair of gloves once. It was a pain in the ass.
Sippers and mittens would be a lot easier.
Clothing produced from crochet is "less stretchy" than knit, and is often uncomfortable when made into shirts and pants as a result. Crochet is most commonly used to make heavier items, like blankets.
Tunisian crochet, however, is very stretchy, and is naturally double thick. It is made with 2 simultaneous yarns, and a doubled headed crochet hook. It makes awesome winter socks that drive the kobolds wild.
(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g39/flick_bucket/crochet/tullow1.jpg)
See that sexy sock? Its super soft.
Post by: Corai on April 13, 2012, 11:44:21 pm
That's right. Goes straight from worsted yarn to finished product. No sewing involved.
Requires more thought, and careful measurements to make complex garments. I made a pair of gloves once. It was a pain in the ass.
Sippers and mittens would be a lot easier.
Clothing produced from crochet is "less stretchy" than knit, and is often uncomfortable when made into shirts and pants as a result. Crochet is most commonly used to make heavier items, like blankets.
Tunisian crochet, however, is very stretchy, and is naturally double thick. It is made with 2 simultaneous yarns, and a doubled headed crochet hook. It makes awesome winter socks that drive the kobolds wild.
Oh yeah, I had those in my tribe, my simpleton subjects decided to give them to
Post by: Talvieno on April 14, 2012, 12:01:53 am
I am a little confused, who is doing the fort?Actually, I was considering handing the fort over to Oliolli (even sent him the save)... Interest in it seemed to be dying out for me - I asked who wanted me to continue, and he was the only one who answered. (that I noticed - I may have missed a post.)
Post by: WillowLuman on April 14, 2012, 12:04:51 am
Post by: wierd on April 14, 2012, 12:07:53 am
Surely, somebody else has as many hobbies as I do? I mean, yeah, not going out on dates and being a toal homebody resuls in a lot of spare time on the weekends, but jeeze!
Post by: Corai on April 14, 2012, 12:19:26 am
I get the feeling I am going to be making socks, mittens, and slippers (shoes), in addition to green glass crafts, soap, cooking food, and making stone mechanisms....
Surely, somebody else has as many hobbies as I do? I mean, yeah, not going out on dates and being a toal homebody resuls in a lot of spare time on the weekends, but jeeze!
I like to swipe things from under my dad's nose.
Thats one reason im a kobold online.
Post by: Talvieno on April 14, 2012, 12:54:56 am
I get the feeling I am going to be making socks, mittens, and slippers (shoes), in addition to green glass crafts, soap, cooking food, and making stone mechanisms....You really weren't kidding. An apocalypse could happen tomorrow, and you'd be fully prepared... Even if you didn't have anything ready.
Surely, somebody else has as many hobbies as I do? I mean, yeah, not going out on dates and being a toal homebody resuls in a lot of spare time on the weekends, but jeeze!
+1 to you for real-life dwarfiness.
Oh believe me, we all want you to continue. We were just brainstorming story ideas and getting carried away.That's two... Well, I'll see what Oliolli says. If he'd rather just make journal entries, I guess the fort is still mine to mess with. Unless someone else would like to take over. If more are in favor of my continuing it... I will.
On a different note, if it'd help your journals I could PM you the save link. ...and possibly anyone else who wanted it.
Post by: Oliolli on April 14, 2012, 01:11:28 am
I suppose I'll also have to get DFHack or whatever it is if I want to properly dwarf people.
Oh, and Talvieno, one last question about a thing that has been bugging me for the duration of this thread.
You wouldn't happen to be finnish, would you? I'd guess so, based on your name.
Post by: Talvieno on April 14, 2012, 01:22:32 am
Oh, and Talvieno, one last question about a thing that has been bugging me for the duration of this thread.Haha, you definitely are, I'm going to guess. ;D And sorry if it disappoints you, but... no. :( I just really liked the sound of the name - it wasn't until I happened upon a Finnish community of gamers that I learned it was comprised of two Finnish words.
You wouldn't happen to be finnish, would you? I'd guess so, based on your name.
So now... I am santa. Hohoho.
Post by: KodKod on April 14, 2012, 04:43:41 am
BTW Kodkod, I have a scientific question. If I created cybermen and was allowed to chuck them into your scorpion pit, what would happen? Would they kill each other, or would they unite and cybernetic giant scorpions would emerge?
I am not sure, possibly the latter. Frankly I don't think that this would be a fantastic idea, the good thing about organics is that they feel, and however fearless one may be in battle is irrelevant, because if it has a will, that will can be broken, bent into check. A Giant Desert Scorpion can be as harmless as a puppy given sufficient reason to obey without question.
Now to turn them into unflinching automotons could have unfortunate consequences. Think 'Bronze Colossus with a deadly neurotoxin'.
I'll keep them as simple, breakable fleshies, thanks.
Post by: flieroflight on April 14, 2012, 04:48:00 am
BTW Kodkod, I have a scientific question. If I created cybermen and was allowed to chuck them into your scorpion pit, what would happen? Would they kill each other, or would they unite and cybernetic giant scorpions would emerge?
I am not sure, possibly the latter. Frankly I don't think that this would be a fantastic idea, the good thing about organics is that they feel, and however fearless one may be in battle is irrelevant, because if it has a will, that will can be broken, bent into check. A Giant Desert Scorpion can be as harmless as a puppy given sufficient reason to obey without question.
Now to turn them into unflinching automotons could have unfortunate consequences. Think 'Bronze Colossus with a deadly neurotoxin'.
I'll keep them as simple, breakable fleshies, thanks.
Its a shame cybernetics arent in.
Aurgemt then with powered claws, extra armour, maybe a couple of extra limbs, while keeping all the glory of letting you torment them. Direct nerve induction would help keep them under control. Get the best of both worlds, unflinching automatons that obey your every command bercause they know that you will personally cause their entire body to become a conduit for pain
Post by: Corai on April 14, 2012, 04:50:23 am
BTW Kodkod, I have a scientific question. If I created cybermen and was allowed to chuck them into your scorpion pit, what would happen? Would they kill each other, or would they unite and cybernetic giant scorpions would emerge?
I am not sure, possibly the latter. Frankly I don't think that this would be a fantastic idea, the good thing about organics is that they feel, and however fearless one may be in battle is irrelevant, because if it has a will, that will can be broken, bent into check. A Giant Desert Scorpion can be as harmless as a puppy given sufficient reason to obey without question.
Now to turn them into unflinching automotons could have unfortunate consequences. Think 'Bronze Colossus with a deadly neurotoxin'.
I'll keep them as simple, breakable fleshies, thanks.
Its a shame cybernetics arent in.
Aurgemt then with powered claws, extra armour, maybe a couple of extra limbs, while keeping all the glory of letting you torment them. Direct nerve induction would help keep them under control. Get the best of both worlds, unflinching automatons that obey your every command bercause they know that you will personally cause their entire body to become a conduit for pain
Torture, always the best way!
Post by: Naryar on April 14, 2012, 04:50:47 am
BTW Kodkod, I have a scientific question. If I created cybermen and was allowed to chuck them into your scorpion pit, what would happen? Would they kill each other, or would they unite and cybernetic giant scorpions would emerge?
I am not sure, possibly the latter. Frankly I don't think that this would be a fantastic idea, the good thing about organics is that they feel, and however fearless one may be in battle is irrelevant, because if it has a will, that will can be broken, bent into check. A Giant Desert Scorpion can be as harmless as a puppy given sufficient reason to obey without question.
Now to turn them into unflinching automotons could have unfortunate consequences. Think 'Bronze Colossus with a deadly neurotoxin'.
I'll keep them as simple, breakable fleshies, thanks.
Its a shame cybernetics arent in.
Aurgemt then with powered claws, extra armour, maybe a couple of extra limbs, while keeping all the glory of letting you torment them. Direct nerve induction would help keep them under control. Get the best of both worlds, unflinching automatons that obey your every command bercause they know that you will personally cause their entire body to become a conduit for pain
Another Kodkod worshipper that wants her to take over the world ? Away with thee !
Post by: Corai on April 14, 2012, 04:57:20 am
BTW Kodkod, I have a scientific question. If I created cybermen and was allowed to chuck them into your scorpion pit, what would happen? Would they kill each other, or would they unite and cybernetic giant scorpions would emerge?
I am not sure, possibly the latter. Frankly I don't think that this would be a fantastic idea, the good thing about organics is that they feel, and however fearless one may be in battle is irrelevant, because if it has a will, that will can be broken, bent into check. A Giant Desert Scorpion can be as harmless as a puppy given sufficient reason to obey without question.
Now to turn them into unflinching automotons could have unfortunate consequences. Think 'Bronze Colossus with a deadly neurotoxin'.
I'll keep them as simple, breakable fleshies, thanks.
Its a shame cybernetics arent in.
Aurgemt then with powered claws, extra armour, maybe a couple of extra limbs, while keeping all the glory of letting you torment them. Direct nerve induction would help keep them under control. Get the best of both worlds, unflinching automatons that obey your every command bercause they know that you will personally cause their entire body to become a conduit for pain
......
Whistles
Another Kodkod worshipper that wants her to take over the world ? Away with thee !
Post by: Blizzlord on April 14, 2012, 04:58:02 am
Post by: Corai on April 14, 2012, 04:59:15 am
I guess that if Bay12 really was a mountain hall wewouldshould be more reluctant to do !!SCIENCE!! on one another than we are in the game.
Luckily for you, im both a kobold and a KodKod loyalist, I would get 99% of all the !!SCIENCE!!
Post by: Blizzlord on April 14, 2012, 05:14:54 am
"Loyalist." KodKod seeks to usurp the God Emperor of Mankind.I guess that if Bay12 really was a mountain hall wewouldshould be more reluctant to do !!SCIENCE!! on one another than we are in the game.
Luckily for you, im both a kobold and a KodKod loyalist, I would get 99% of all the !!SCIENCE!!
Also, what does this have to do with mountain halls? If anyone would rule it it would be Toady, Three-Toes or Girlinhat.
Post by: Corai on April 14, 2012, 05:20:26 am
"Loyalist." KodKod seeks to usurp the God Emperor of Mankind.I guess that if Bay12 really was a mountain hall wewouldshould be more reluctant to do !!SCIENCE!! on one another than we are in the game.
Luckily for you, im both a kobold and a KodKod loyalist, I would get 99% of all the !!SCIENCE!!
Also, what does this have to do with mountain halls? If anyone would rule it it would be Toady, Three-Toes or Girlinhat.
Loyalist, cultist, fan of posts, whatever. I went with that came to me first.
Post by: KodKod on April 14, 2012, 05:32:26 am
"Loyalist." KodKod seeks to usurp the God Emperor of Mankind.
Also, what does this have to do with mountain halls? If anyone would rule it it would be Toady, Three-Toes or Girlinhat.
Oh that's fine, by all means let Girlinhat be in charge.
I see myself in more of the evil chancellor position, coveting the power of whoever is in charge and ultimately leading to their downfall as I poison them or gain possession of some mystic artefact, that sort of fun-times, and then seizing control for myself to begin my tyrannical reign after their demise.
Post by: flieroflight on April 14, 2012, 05:33:56 am
BTW Kodkod, I have a scientific question. If I created cybermen and was allowed to chuck them into your scorpion pit, what would happen? Would they kill each other, or would they unite and cybernetic giant scorpions would emerge?
I am not sure, possibly the latter. Frankly I don't think that this would be a fantastic idea, the good thing about organics is that they feel, and however fearless one may be in battle is irrelevant, because if it has a will, that will can be broken, bent into check. A Giant Desert Scorpion can be as harmless as a puppy given sufficient reason to obey without question.
Now to turn them into unflinching automotons could have unfortunate consequences. Think 'Bronze Colossus with a deadly neurotoxin'.
I'll keep them as simple, breakable fleshies, thanks.
Its a shame cybernetics arent in.
Aurgemt then with powered claws, extra armour, maybe a couple of extra limbs, while keeping all the glory of letting you torment them. Direct nerve induction would help keep them under control. Get the best of both worlds, unflinching automatons that obey your every command bercause they know that you will personally cause their entire body to become a conduit for pain
Another Kodkod worshipper that wants her to take over the world ? Away with thee !
I for one, welcome our new Kodkod overlady.
Post by: KodKod on April 14, 2012, 05:48:05 am
Its a shame cybernetics arent in.
Aurgemt then with powered claws, extra armour, maybe a couple of extra limbs, while keeping all the glory of letting you torment them. Direct nerve induction would help keep them under control. Get the best of both worlds, unflinching automatons that obey your every command bercause they know that you will personally cause their entire body to become a conduit for pain
Call me a stickler for tradition but I just can’t appreciate a cybernetic-implant based method of causing pain.
There’s nothing quite as satisfying as something or someone have a primal fear of the harm they know you can and will personally inflict upon them without having to rely on gadgets or mechanical devices. It's like the difference between riding in a car and being able to run at 100 mph. Let them know that you alone are already all you need to make their worst nightmares become reality, that's how you dominate something.
Post by: Silverbit on April 14, 2012, 08:01:30 am
Post by: Corai on April 14, 2012, 08:04:16 am
Silverbit cancels work: Worshipping KodKod.
MY CULT I MADE FOR KODKOD ACTUALLY HAS FOLLOWERS?
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Post by: flieroflight on April 14, 2012, 08:05:18 am
Its a shame cybernetics arent in.
Aurgemt then with powered claws, extra armour, maybe a couple of extra limbs, while keeping all the glory of letting you torment them. Direct nerve induction would help keep them under control. Get the best of both worlds, unflinching automatons that obey your every command bercause they know that you will personally cause their entire body to become a conduit for pain
Call me a stickler for tradition but I just can’t appreciate a cybernetic-implant based method of causing pain.
There’s nothing quite as satisfying as something or someone have a primal fear of the harm they know you can and will personally inflict upon them without having to rely on gadgets or mechanical devices. It's like the difference between riding in a car and being able to run at 100 mph. Let them know that you alone are already all you need to make their worst nightmares become reality, that's how you dominate something.
I can see where your point is but i do prefer the sheer variety of torment that machinery can offer. repurposed medical devices, and the like just allow for so much control over what happens, without the dangers of human error causing something to go wrong and grant them an early death.
Post by: Blizzlord on April 14, 2012, 08:23:58 am
So basically you are Mordeth of the WoT universe? That is even worse than taking the throne for yourself!"Loyalist." KodKod seeks to usurp the God Emperor of Mankind.
Also, what does this have to do with mountain halls? If anyone would rule it it would be Toady, Three-Toes or Girlinhat.
Oh that's fine, by all means let Girlinhat be in charge.
I see myself in more of the evil chancellor position, coveting the power of whoever is in charge and ultimately leading to their downfall as I poison them or gain possession of some mystic artefact, that sort of fun-times, and then seizing control for myself to begin my tyrannical reign after their demise.
Post by: Silverbit on April 14, 2012, 08:44:10 am
The cult grows in power Corai... soon, this fortress/jail cell will be ours!Silverbit cancels work: Worshipping KodKod.
MY CULT I MADE FOR KODKOD ACTUALLY HAS FOLLOWERS?
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
(That is, if KodKod doesn't throw us to the scorpions first.)
Post by: Corai on April 14, 2012, 08:47:57 am
The cult grows in power Corai... soon, this fortress/jail cell will be ours!Silverbit cancels work: Worshipping KodKod.
MY CULT I MADE FOR KODKOD ACTUALLY HAS FOLLOWERS?
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
(That is, if KodKod doesn't throw us to the scorpions first.)
The small kobold begins rubbing his hands
All according to Gribusign.............
EDIT:
(http://i44.tinypic.com/33zd37a.gif)
Post by: AWdeV on April 14, 2012, 08:48:19 am
Post by: Oliolli on April 14, 2012, 09:27:01 am
Oliolli: "I think it's a good thing she's gone, she was getting too power-hungry."
NO! My leg! Give me back my leg! NOOO!!!
nose
left eye
middle eye
right eye
heart
left upper arm
left upper leg
Archeron... would you mind?
Post by: WaffleEggnog on April 14, 2012, 10:09:25 am
In the latest news from the Twelfth Bay, KodKod has had an unfortunate accident. We have interviewed a local resident.
Oliolli: "I think it's a good thing she's gone, she was getting too power-hungry."
NO! My leg! Give me back my leg! NOOO!!!
nose
left eye
middle eye
right eye
heart
left upper arm
left upper leg
Archeron... would you mind?
Was it badgers? Or pissed kids without shoes?
Post by: Blizzlord on April 14, 2012, 10:42:57 am
In the latest news from the Twelfth Bay, KodKod has had an unfortunate accident. We have interviewed a local resident.Middle eye hehe...
Oliolli: "I think it's a good thing she's gone, she was getting too power-hungry."
NO! My leg! Give me back my leg! NOOO!!!
nose
left eye
middle eye
right eye
heart
left upper arm
left upper leg
Archeron... would you mind?
I think they will give your leg back.
...eventually.
Post by: Oliolli on April 14, 2012, 11:15:12 am
In the latest news from the Twelfth Bay, KodKod has had an unfortunate accident. We have interviewed a local resident.
Oliolli: "I think it's a good thing she's gone, she was getting too power-hungry."
NO! My leg! Give me back my leg! NOOO!!!
nose
left eye
middle eye
right eye
heart
left upper arm
left upper leg
Archeron... would you mind?
Was it badgers? Or pissed kids without shoes?
All that has been done by KodKod over the timespan of ten days. It all started in a now locked thread (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=106429.msg3163314#msg3163314), when I suggested that maybe KodKod isn't completely harmless.
Hmm, I just realised I forgot to put
left eye tooth
right eye tooth
into that list...
Post by: Naryar on April 14, 2012, 12:00:18 pm
"Loyalist." KodKod seeks to usurp the God Emperor of Mankind.
Also, what does this have to do with mountain halls? If anyone would rule it it would be Toady, Three-Toes or Girlinhat.
Oh that's fine, by all means let Girlinhat be in charge.
I see myself in more of the evil chancellor position, coveting the power of whoever is in charge and ultimately leading to their downfall as I poison them or gain possession of some mystic artefact, that sort of fun-times, and then seizing control for myself to begin my tyrannical reign after their demise.
But evil chancelors are always male !
Post by: WillowLuman on April 14, 2012, 12:50:34 pm
Post by: flieroflight on April 14, 2012, 01:10:17 pm
Given the circumstances, I think Oliolli should be the first candidate foryes, all those missing parts jusrt mean we dont have to take them off later.cyberman conversioncybernetic augmentation
Im thinking blenderteeth and maybe an arm with a built in crossbow. pointing in.
Post by: Oliolli on April 14, 2012, 01:12:26 pm
Gizogin already gave me something to replace my heart. He didn't explain what it is, only said that it's "like a mechanical heart, only different in every meaningful way".
Post by: flieroflight on April 14, 2012, 02:37:48 pm
So, which will I get? The Shepard-treatment or the Jensen-treatment?Youll get the shepard treatment which you never asked for.
Gizogin already gave me something to replace my heart. He didn't explain what it is, only said that it's "like a mechanical heart, only different in every meaningful way".
And kill all small children in vents. Its better in the long run.
Post by: EternallySlaying on April 14, 2012, 02:39:10 pm
Post by: wierd on April 14, 2012, 02:45:31 pm
See how much I love science?
(http://i186.photobucket.com/albums/x248/wierdw/thristy1.gif)
Post by: Gizogin on April 14, 2012, 02:52:17 pm
Talvieno, I think you captured me perfectly in your last journal. I've found that I can ask people to do just about anything if they think it'll help them save a life. Also, I was hungry.
So, which will I get? The Shepard-treatment or the Jensen-treatment?
Gizogin already gave me something to replace my heart. He didn't explain what it is, only said that it's "like a mechanical heart, only different in every meaningful way".
Well, if you want cybernetic augmentation, you're out of luck. I don't exactly have that level of technology to work with. The new heart-replacement I gave you is basically just a hand-crank. Keep turning that handle, by the way; you don't want to see what happens when all the blood in a person's body stops pumping at the same time (Hint: it's called "death"). I'm working on a self-powered model, based on the standard water-reactor, but it's taking a bit of tinkering to get the pressure right. All my test subjects keep popping, and the cleanup is a hassle. Also, it currently takes up a full room to hold all the stuff.
Post by: Oliolli on April 14, 2012, 03:09:32 pm
I'm going to be shot into space simply so I can be dropped from orbit? Cool!So, which will I get? The Shepard-treatment or the Jensen-treatment?Youll get the shepard treatment which you never asked for.
Gizogin already gave me something to replace my heart. He didn't explain what it is, only said that it's "like a mechanical heart, only different in every meaningful way".
Well, if you want cybernetic augmentation, you're out of luck. I don't exactly have that level of technology to work with.So I'll have to wait until we invent it?
The new heart-replacement I gave you is basically just a hand-crank. Keep turning that handle, by the way; you don't want to see what happens when all the blood in a person's body stops pumping at the same time (Hint: it's called "death").So that's what this thing is for? In that case, maybe I should start turning it. Might help.
I'm working on a self-powered model, based on the standard water-reactor, but it's taking a bit of tinkering to get the pressure right. All my test subjects keep popping, and the cleanup is a hassle. Also, it currently takes up a full room to hold all the stuff.No worries, I'll just carry it around. May slow me down a bit, though :-\ What if I just start living near some magma forges? Some haulers'll have to bring me metal bars, food and something to drink.
Sorry for no journal entries yet. I'll get on it, once I have some time.
In ten days this thread has become longer than the Swordthunders-reclaim-thingy became in 139 days... odd...
Post by: Corai on April 14, 2012, 04:41:43 pm
YOU FOOLS ! You'll doom us all with your kodkod worshipping cult ! Can't you see that she will use you as tools and then destroy you when you will have outlived your usefulness !
SNACKRIFICES, SNACKRIFICES!!!!!!!!!
Post by: wierd on April 14, 2012, 04:44:04 pm
That's what my killer confections are for!
We offer a fine selection of deadly delights and ghastly gastronomies! Which of my fabulous items can I mark you down for, tiny sir?
Post by: Corai on April 14, 2012, 04:50:22 pm
Snackrifice?!
That's what my killer confections are for!
We offer a fine selection of deadly delights and ghastly gastronomies! Which of my fabulous items can I mark you down for, tiny sir?
.....*touch*
Moments later
OH GOD THE ACID, IT HURTS, OH MY FREAKING KOBOLD, IT BURNS SO MUCH! OH GOD!!
Post by: wierd on April 14, 2012, 04:57:14 pm
That was a FoxGlove Fondant!
It's just OOZING with digitalis (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digitalis) extract!
I KNEW you wouldnt be able to resist the bright colors of the fondant! Dont worry, the nausea and blurred vision are supposed to happen! Now, just sit back, relax, and let the digitalis just relax you to death.....
Post by: Corai on April 14, 2012, 04:59:46 pm
Don't be so melodramatic little one!
That was a FoxGlove Fondant!
It's just OOZING with digitalis (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digitalis) extract!
I KNEW you wouldnt be able to resist the bright colors of the fondant! Dont worry, the nausea and blurred vision are supposed to happen! Now, just sit back, relax, and let the digitalis just relax you to death.....
Im okay now. My right hand is going to be worthless for 3-4 days but im oka-OH A RABBIT!
Kobold cancels hunt, mauled by bunny
Post by: Talvieno on April 14, 2012, 07:23:55 pm
Post by: Dr.Propz on April 14, 2012, 07:33:12 pm
In retrospect, a miner was probably the worst job I could've chosen.
No no, that would have been a lye maker. At least as a miner most people would try to keep you alive. As a lye maker? Ridiculed and shunned
Post by: WillowLuman on April 14, 2012, 07:34:22 pm
In retrospect, a miner was probably the worst job I could've chosen.
No no, that would have been a lye maker. At least as a miner most people would try to keep you alive. As a lye maker? Ridiculed and shunned
You ever gotten lye on your soft tissue? Let me tell you, I never want to experience that again.
Post by: Corai on April 14, 2012, 07:35:42 pm
HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT?
GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS GUESS
OKAY FINE THIS IS WHAT!
IM THE NEW DOCTOR, ISNT THAT WONDERFUL!
....How do I hold a surgical knife :3
Post by: Dr.Propz on April 14, 2012, 07:42:56 pm
In retrospect, a miner was probably the worst job I could've chosen.
No no, that would have been a lye maker. At least as a miner most people would try to keep you alive. As a lye maker? Ridiculed and shunned
You ever gotten lye on your soft tissue? Let me tell you, I never want to experience that again.
No I have not, but I googled it and it looks nasty. All the more reason why you shouldn't be a lye maker
Post by: Talvieno on April 14, 2012, 07:51:18 pm
True, but think of the workload. I can't imagine Bay12ers demanding anything less than the very highest quality rooms, laboratories, balconies, cathedrals, temples, etc. And with (realistically) 250+ (more, really) people dumped on a mountainside at once, I'd be really, really busy - for quite a while. And always getting nagged about how I'm not going fast enough. I mean, sure - it'd be fun. I'd have a pretty good measure of power over what happened, and I'd rank higher in society than dye makers and some other professions. But still. I wouldn't mind having a day off every now and then. :P But you make a good point. It's not the best, but it's not the worst, either.In retrospect, a miner was probably the worst job I could've chosen.
No no, that would have been a lye maker. At least as a miner most people would try to keep you alive. As a lye maker? Ridiculed and shunned
Post by: Eric Blank on April 14, 2012, 08:13:01 pm
But still. I wouldn't mind having a day off every now and then.
Eh, we'll just offer a set ratio of break time for everyone. As Head Stoneworker I would have to spend it managing construction projects.
And we'd have basic apartments for everyone no doubt. Take forever to be able to offer any sort of dignified living space besides 5x5 meter rooms with domed ceilings. And if we send a vampire/Corai off to borrow/steal (respectively) a book with the secrets of life and death for us we'd be able to have an army of undead slaves to help do the crap jobs like mining and smoothing enormous areas. Just not the fun ones like engraving or masonry. :P
Post by: Corai on April 14, 2012, 08:16:43 pm
But still. I wouldn't mind having a day off every now and then.
Eh, we'll just offer a set ratio of break time for everyone. As Head Stoneworker I would have to spend it managing construction projects.
And we'd have basic apartments for everyone no doubt. Take forever to be able to offer any sort of dignified living space besides 5x5 meter rooms with domed ceilings. And if we send a vampire/Corai off to borrow/steal (respectively) a book with the secrets of life and death for us we'd be able to have an army of undead slaves to help do the crap jobs like mining and smoothing enormous areas. Just not the fun ones like engraving or masonry. :P
Send a vampire, I cant get through a tower with TEN zombies, even when candy-clad legendary +5 adventure vampire with full 16 followers.
Siege it instead.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 14, 2012, 08:28:08 pm
Post by: Corai on April 14, 2012, 08:30:14 pm
Vampires are undead, so you wouldn't need to worry about the zombies then. Necromancers are practically neighborly if you're a vampire.....Oh.
I just jotted down from memory of that attempt, probaly wasn't a vamp if your right.
Post by: Talvieno on April 14, 2012, 08:31:47 pm
Play as a manamaid. Those things are brutal. I'll PM you a link if you'd like.But still. I wouldn't mind having a day off every now and then.
Eh, we'll just offer a set ratio of break time for everyone. As Head Stoneworker I would have to spend it managing construction projects.
And we'd have basic apartments for everyone no doubt. Take forever to be able to offer any sort of dignified living space besides 5x5 meter rooms with domed ceilings. And if we send a vampire/Corai off to borrow/steal (respectively) a book with the secrets of life and death for us we'd be able to have an army of undead slaves to help do the crap jobs like mining and smoothing enormous areas. Just not the fun ones like engraving or masonry. :P
Send a vampire, I cant get through a tower with TEN zombies, even when candy-clad legendary +5 adventure vampire with full 16 followers.
Post by: Splint on April 14, 2012, 08:36:51 pm
Post by: Talvieno on April 14, 2012, 08:40:08 pm
Dear god, do thier powers of disgust work on the undead too?Yes they do. ...well, as long as the corpse isn't that of a manamaid. But honestly I was referring to the fact that they weigh more than a small car and have a "squash" attack.
Post by: Splint on April 14, 2012, 08:43:04 pm
Post by: Corai on April 14, 2012, 08:43:59 pm
Armok, a manamaid, or Hellenistic Detective?
Post by: Splint on April 14, 2012, 08:45:14 pm
Post by: wierd on April 14, 2012, 08:51:45 pm
In retrospect, a miner was probably the worst job I could've chosen.
No no, that would have been a lye maker. At least as a miner most people would try to keep you alive. As a lye maker? Ridiculed and shunned
You ever gotten lye on your soft tissue? Let me tell you, I never want to experience that again.
Actually yes....... I don't have a problem with lye. I test lye soap by touching a tiny bit of the soap shavings to my tounge. If it burns, its too alkaline.
Lye doesn't bother me that much. If you are scared of lye burns, wash the affected area with dilute vinegar.
I am not scared of lye burns. I can spray oven cleaner straight in my skin without issue.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 14, 2012, 09:07:04 pm
I once got pure, unadulterated lye on my lip. I had thought it was milk, and brought the glass measuring cup up to smell it. Very glad I didn't drink it. A friend of the family once died in hours from drinking what she thought was baby formula while babysitting.In retrospect, a miner was probably the worst job I could've chosen.
No no, that would have been a lye maker. At least as a miner most people would try to keep you alive. As a lye maker? Ridiculed and shunned
You ever gotten lye on your soft tissue? Let me tell you, I never want to experience that again.
Actually yes....... I don't have a problem with lye. I test lye soap by touching a tiny bit of the soap shavings to my tounge. If it burns, its too alkaline.
Lye doesn't bother me that much. If you are scared of lye burns, wash the affected area with dilute vinegar.
I am not scared of lye burns. I can spray oven cleaner straight in my skin without issue.
Post by: Dr.Propz on April 14, 2012, 09:42:14 pm
Why would you drink it? Then again, if she didn't and she fed it to a baby...
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 15, 2012, 03:31:16 am
Its a shame cybernetics arent in.
Aurgemt then with powered claws, extra armour, maybe a couple of extra limbs, while keeping all the glory of letting you torment them. Direct nerve induction would help keep them under control. Get the best of both worlds, unflinching automatons that obey your every command bercause they know that you will personally cause their entire body to become a conduit for pain
Lolololololol sadist robot scorpions where are your gods now.
The Scorpions ate them.
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 03:33:54 am
The dragon Grifugsn has arrived!
Many dragons have arrived!
The kobolds have arrived in force!
Overseer: Defaq, *checks menu*
Dragon Invader
Kobold spearmaster Invader
Dragon Invader
Kobold spearmaster Invader
Dragon Invader
Kobold spearmaster Invader
Dragon Invader
Dragon Invader
Kobold spearmaster Invader
Dragon Invader
Kobold spearmaster Invader
Kobold spearmaster Invader
Kobold spearmaster Invader
Post by: wierd on April 15, 2012, 04:39:59 am
I once got pure, unadulterated lye on my lip. I had thought it was milk, and brought the glass measuring cup up to smell it. Very glad I didn't drink it. A friend of the family once died in hours from drinking what she thought was baby formula while babysitting.In retrospect, a miner was probably the worst job I could've chosen.
No no, that would have been a lye maker. At least as a miner most people would try to keep you alive. As a lye maker? Ridiculed and shunned
You ever gotten lye on your soft tissue? Let me tell you, I never want to experience that again.
Actually yes....... I don't have a problem with lye. I test lye soap by touching a tiny bit of the soap shavings to my tounge. If it burns, its too alkaline.
Lye doesn't bother me that much. If you are scared of lye burns, wash the affected area with dilute vinegar.
I am not scared of lye burns. I can spray oven cleaner straight in my skin without issue.
For awhile, before the meth cooks ruined everything, you could buy practically pure crystallized lye under the brand name "red devil". Clear crystalline solid. Sodium hydroxide lye. Potent stuff. Makes leather smoke. I found it irritating enough that I needed to wash it off. I don't know how or why, but I am highly resistant (not impervious mind... just resistant) to corrosive chemical agents. I have seen people blister and chemical burn instantly from foaming oven cleaner. Me? I can spray it on my hands like hair mousse, and clean the oven without gloves and be just fine. Just makes my fingerprints go away for a few days. No rash or anything.
LOL... there was that one time in college whe I spilled the "strong" HCl on my arm... it destroyed the shirt horribly, and gave me a slight pink spot. The pink spot didn't show up until a day later. I sometims joke that I'm not human. LOL.
And no, I am not kidding. I'd happily make a youtube vid of myself cleaning the oven if requested. :)
I can also clean with pure straight bleach without issue. Happily make a vid of that too.
These days it's nearly impossible to get pure lye. Instead, I use a ceramic crucible, a blow torch, and baking soda.
Baking soda is food grade sodium bicarbonate. If you heat it over 700 degrees or so, all the chemically bound carbon dioxide will boil off, leaving a "pink-glowing" hot liquid, that readily cools into a clear mass. This mass is sodium oxide, which on contact with water, turns into lye. (Sodium hydroxide)
Its either that or jump through hoops and sign tons of paperwork when you want to get good lye for making soap. For some reason the dea and pals think you are telling fibs when you say "making soap" as the reason for buying a pound of clean lye. Thankfully you only need a few tablespoons to make a small batch of soap, so the blowtorch method, while expensive, is enough to suffice. Just do it outdoors, and watch out for spatter and caustic vapor. Wear suitable protection.
As for how you could mistake lye water for milk, I have no idea. Lye has a very intense saline-like scent. Unless your nose is broken, you should have noticed long before actually getting any in/on your mouth. I taste the soap shavings for the alkaline burn because the smell of the soap overpowers my sense of smell. (All I smell is fresh soap smell)
Lye water also heats all by itself to near boiling when freshly mixed from raw crystals as well.. very exothermic. Pure lye water will clarify after it cools off, like salt water does, so for it to be milky, it must have had some kind of surfactant mixed in to help it clear clogged drains, or been freshly mixed. If the latter, it would have been very warm, from said reaction.
Post by: Blizzlord on April 15, 2012, 04:41:25 am
The question is: Who would win?That depends on where they fight.
Armok, a manamaid, or Hellenistic Detective?
Post by: Reudh on April 15, 2012, 04:45:03 am
Post by: Lumix on April 15, 2012, 05:02:46 am
*Chugs down some ale*
Nothing better than a nice relax-
Whats that red glow.. Larry.. did you just...
SHIT SHIT SHIT *Chug* SHIT
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 05:13:50 am
Thank god i have finished the tunneling....,
*Chugs down some ale*
Nothing better than a nice relax-
Whats that red glow.. Larry.. did you just...
SHIT SHIT SHIT *Chug* SHIT
You want my semi-wild dragons to help? There ticked but they wont kill dwarves....right away.....
Post by: Lumix on April 15, 2012, 05:16:54 am
Thank god i have finished the tunneling....,
*Chugs down some ale*
Nothing better than a nice relax-
Whats that red glow.. Larry.. did you just...
SHIT SHIT SHIT *Chug* SHIT
You want my semi-wild dragons to help? There ticked but they wont kill dwarves....right away.....
A Helpful Kobold!? Must be an elf in disguise!~
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 05:18:25 am
Thank god i have finished the tunneling....,
*Chugs down some ale*
Nothing better than a nice relax-
Whats that red glow.. Larry.. did you just...
SHIT SHIT SHIT *Chug* SHIT
You want my semi-wild dragons to help? There ticked but they wont kill dwarves....right away.....
A Helpful Kobold!? Must be an elf in disguise!~
OH NO YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!
YOU DID NOT JUST CALL ME A ELF, THE ETERNAL ENEMEY OF KOBOLDS (when im not playing masterwork)
Post by: Lordraymond on April 15, 2012, 05:19:03 am
Thank god i have finished the tunneling....,
*Chugs down some ale*
Nothing better than a nice relax-
Whats that red glow.. Larry.. did you just...
SHIT SHIT SHIT *Chug* SHIT
You want my semi-wild dragons to help? There ticked but they wont kill dwarves....right away.....
A Helpful Kobold!? Must be an elf in disguise!~
Look out! He loves elves! Corai's a traitor to dwarves, kobolds and life itself! He must be executed!
Post by: Blizzlord on April 15, 2012, 05:37:55 am
Kill it with trees! It is the only way!Thank god i have finished the tunneling....,
*Chugs down some ale*
Nothing better than a nice relax-
Whats that red glow.. Larry.. did you just...
SHIT SHIT SHIT *Chug* SHIT
You want my semi-wild dragons to help? There ticked but they wont kill dwarves....right away.....
A Helpful Kobold!? Must be an elf in disguise!~
Look out! He loves elves! Corai's a traitor to dwarves, kobolds and life itself! He must be executed!
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 15, 2012, 05:40:39 am
[seriously, they're everywhere, it's an epidemic]
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 05:45:01 am
IF I FLEE TO MY MOUNTAIN BUNKER, I WILL BE SAFE, AS THERE ARE NO TREES.
Except one that got chopped by accident.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
See that sexy base? Yeah, Im nice and safe there.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 15, 2012, 05:47:40 am
Post by: wierd on April 15, 2012, 05:48:46 am
THINK OF THE CHILDREN
[seriously, they're everywhere, it's an epidemic]
I try my best! I thought the chocolate coated cyanide marzipan was brilliant! Sadly, it seems dwarven children prefer alcohol over candy... :(
I'm still working on a suitably effective concoction.
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 05:50:10 am
Needs more spikes
My magma is being a a-hole, it wont fill higher then 2, I need 7 for my magma forges. I try pushing floor onto magma to push it into the channel but it WONT. FREAKING. FILL.
Post by: Dohon on April 15, 2012, 05:50:20 am
If you guys dorf me ... My skills are leaning towards the social kind. Good teacher and manager. And I'm quite handy with demolition work using hammers. And a high sense of justice. Guess that makes me a candidate for the Fortress Guard or the Manager position. Or a Hammerdwarf Squad.
Either way, my death will be slow, bloody and filled with huge amounts of suffering.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 15, 2012, 05:54:54 am
THINK OF THE CHILDREN
[seriously, they're everywhere, it's an epidemic]
I try my best! I thought the chocolate coated cyanide marzipan was brilliant! Sadly, it seems dwarven children prefer alcohol over candy... :(
I'm still working on a suitably effective concoction.
And it appears to be that with Dorf livers, cyanide is naught but a delicious treat :|
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 05:55:57 am
THINK OF THE CHILDREN
[seriously, they're everywhere, it's an epidemic]
I try my best! I thought the chocolate coated cyanide marzipan was brilliant! Sadly, it seems dwarven children prefer alcohol over candy... :(
I'm still working on a suitably effective concoction.
And it appears to be that with Dorf livers, cyanide is naught but a delicious treat :|
Hey....hey you....got a kid problem? I know a few goblins that can......take care of it.....for a price.
Post by: Lumix on April 15, 2012, 06:00:06 am
THINK OF THE CHILDREN
[seriously, they're everywhere, it's an epidemic]
I try my best! I thought the chocolate coated cyanide marzipan was brilliant! Sadly, it seems dwarven children prefer alcohol over candy... :(
I'm still working on a suitably effective concoction.
And it appears to be that with Dorf livers, cyanide is naught but a delicious treat :|
Hey....hey you....got a kid problem? I know a few goblins that can......take care of it.....for a price.
I have to pay now to get my children... Disposed of? Hah.
Back in my day, you turn around for a snack, and BAM, they are gone, and everything is better.
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 06:01:59 am
THINK OF THE CHILDREN
[seriously, they're everywhere, it's an epidemic]
I try my best! I thought the chocolate coated cyanide marzipan was brilliant! Sadly, it seems dwarven children prefer alcohol over candy... :(
I'm still working on a suitably effective concoction.
And it appears to be that with Dorf livers, cyanide is naught but a delicious treat :|
Hey....hey you....got a kid problem? I know a few goblins that can......take care of it.....for a price.
I have to pay now to get my children... Disposed of? Hah.
Back in my day, you turn around for a snack, and BAM, they are gone, and everything is better.
Not money buddy........yeah, I dont want money.....gimme a map of the Twelth Bay and I'll make allllllllll those kiddies go away........
Post by: Reudh on April 15, 2012, 06:03:59 am
Aye, I remember those dark days where one couldn't venture forth a proposition to ye fellow dwarves without being shouted down by hordes of people screaming MAGMA at you.
I was just an Escaped Lunatic in those days, whatever that be in th' humanspeak.
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 06:06:18 am
SOMEONE HELP ME, THE DRAGONS FIGURED OUT THAT WOOD IS FLAMABLE.
And I have 57 dwarves hostage, 17 legendary metal-whatevers.
Post by: Lumix on April 15, 2012, 06:23:29 am
Oh, and also:CONTROLED FLOODING.
SOMEONE HELP ME, THE DRAGONS FIGURED OUT THAT WOOD IS FLAMABLE.
And I have 57 dwarves hostage, 17 legendary metal-whatevers.
Or by Dwarven standards
UNCONTROLLED FLOODING.
Post by: KodKod on April 15, 2012, 06:51:31 am
YOU FOOLS ! You'll doom us all with your kodkod worshipping cult ! Can't you see that she will use you as tools and then destroy you when you will have outlived your usefulness !"Loyalist." KodKod seeks to usurp the God Emperor of Mankind.
Also, what does this have to do with mountain halls? If anyone would rule it it would be Toady, Three-Toes or Girlinhat.
Oh that's fine, by all means let Girlinhat be in charge.
I see myself in more of the evil chancellor position, coveting the power of whoever is in charge and ultimately leading to their downfall as I poison them or gain possession of some mystic artefact, that sort of fun-times, and then seizing control for myself to begin my tyrannical reign after their demise.
But evil chancelors are always male !
I disagree. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Cx7jzq2Bx4)
Post by: Blizzlord on April 15, 2012, 07:59:51 am
Women always try to take our positions of power, and when they have it they will never surrender it. :DYOU FOOLS ! You'll doom us all with your kodkod worshipping cult ! Can't you see that she will use you as tools and then destroy you when you will have outlived your usefulness !"Loyalist." KodKod seeks to usurp the God Emperor of Mankind.
Also, what does this have to do with mountain halls? If anyone would rule it it would be Toady, Three-Toes or Girlinhat.
Oh that's fine, by all means let Girlinhat be in charge.
I see myself in more of the evil chancellor position, coveting the power of whoever is in charge and ultimately leading to their downfall as I poison them or gain possession of some mystic artefact, that sort of fun-times, and then seizing control for myself to begin my tyrannical reign after their demise.
But evil chancelors are always male !
I disagree. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Cx7jzq2Bx4)
This is the reason you need to face the almighty exterminatus!
Edit: Forgot to mention the smashing. With hammers.
I'm avoiding the obvious/oblivious joke here.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 15, 2012, 08:59:06 am
I think I'll begin wandering the wilds now.
Post by: Gizogin on April 15, 2012, 10:50:40 am
YOU FOOLS ! You'll doom us all with your kodkod worshipping cult ! Can't you see that she will use you as tools and then destroy you when you will have outlived your usefulness !"Loyalist." KodKod seeks to usurp the God Emperor of Mankind.
Also, what does this have to do with mountain halls? If anyone would rule it it would be Toady, Three-Toes or Girlinhat.
Oh that's fine, by all means let Girlinhat be in charge.
I see myself in more of the evil chancellor position, coveting the power of whoever is in charge and ultimately leading to their downfall as I poison them or gain possession of some mystic artefact, that sort of fun-times, and then seizing control for myself to begin my tyrannical reign after their demise.
But evil chancelors are always male !
I disagree. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Cx7jzq2Bx4)
Are we sure Yzma isn't actually a dorf in disguise?
Post by: KodKod on April 15, 2012, 11:05:03 am
Are we sure Yzma isn't actually a dorf in disguise?
Well there are no guarantees of course, be she is certainly very dwarfy.
Offing stupid nobles, obsessed with unreliable ‼SCIENCE‼... It's a distinct possibility that she is a dwarf.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 15, 2012, 11:10:30 am
Post by: WillowLuman on April 15, 2012, 12:58:05 pm
Post by: Fen on April 15, 2012, 01:19:51 pm
Are we sure Yzma isn't actually a dorf in disguise?
Well there are no guarantees of course, be she is certainly very dwarfy.
Offing stupid nobles, obsessed with unreliable ‼SCIENCE‼... It's a distinct possibility that she is a dwarf.
After having watched that, I'm fairly certain KodKod is a cross between Misery and Izma. This, of course, makes Corai a kobold version of Kronk/Balrog, which makes sense in very strange ways. Brain what are you doing to me.
Post by: flieroflight on April 15, 2012, 02:19:06 pm
Are we sure Yzma isn't actually a dorf in disguise?
Well there are no guarantees of course, be she is certainly very dwarfy.
Offing stupid nobles, obsessed with unreliable ‼SCIENCE‼... It's a distinct possibility that she is a dwarf.
After having watched that, I'm fairly certain KodKod is a cross between Misery and Izma. This, of course, makes Corai a kobold version of Kronk/Balrog, which makes sense in very strange ways. Brain what are you doing to me.
so shes not the diety of sadisim then?
Post by: Eric Blank on April 15, 2012, 02:22:04 pm
Post by: Oliolli on April 15, 2012, 02:26:09 pm
Not the diety of sadisim.
Maybe a deity of sadism, though.
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 02:51:43 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 15, 2012, 03:08:04 pm
so shes not the diety of sadisim then?
Not sadism, no... More like unreasonable vengeance.
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 03:09:49 pm
so shes not the diety of sadisim then?
Not sadism, no... More like unreasonable vengeance.
What if someone needed revenge on you, and since your the deity of vengeance, you must help them get it, thus hurting yourself, causing yourself to get revenge on yourself?
Post by: KodKod on April 15, 2012, 03:21:29 pm
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 03:24:25 pm
-Kodblog, sounds evil-
Post by: Oliolli on April 15, 2012, 03:57:42 pm
so shes not the diety of sadisim then?
Not sadism, no... More like unreasonable vengeance.
What if someone needed revenge on you, and since your the deity of vengeance, you must help them get it, thus hurting yourself, causing yourself to get revenge on yourself?
Unreasonable is the keyword here.
nose
left eye
middle eye
right eye
left eye tooth
right eye tooth
heart
left upper arm
left upper leg
left lung
Post by: Valikdu on April 15, 2012, 04:36:24 pm
A monstrous creature in the shape of an alicorn, created by the Dark Voice. It has an unbreakable carapace and a pair of scything claws, plated with rainbow metal. The screams of all the ponies murdered by the Dark Voice for the spectra echo through the air around it. Now you will know why you fear the night.
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 04:39:06 pm
A Rainbow Annihilator Valikdu has come!
A monstrous creature in the shape of an alicorn, created by the Dark Voice. It has an unbreakable carapace and a pair of scything claws, plated with rainbow metal. The screams of all the ponies murdered by the Dark Voice for the spectra echo through the air around it. Now you will know why you fear the night.
The spinning unicorn bone strikes the Annihilator in the head, but the attack glances off!
Post by: Oliolli on April 15, 2012, 04:41:04 pm
A Rainbow Annihilator Valikdu has come!
A monstrous creature in the shape of an alicorn, created by the Dark Voice. It has an unbreakable carapace and a pair of scything claws, plated with rainbow metal. The screams of all the ponies murdered by the Dark Voice for the spectra echo through the air around it. Now you will know why you fear the night.
The spinning unicorn bone strikes the Annihilator in the head, but the attack glances off!
The spinning kobold strikes the Annihilator in the head, but the attack glances off!
Huh, it is unbreakable.
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 04:42:53 pm
A Rainbow Annihilator Valikdu has come!
A monstrous creature in the shape of an alicorn, created by the Dark Voice. It has an unbreakable carapace and a pair of scything claws, plated with rainbow metal. The screams of all the ponies murdered by the Dark Voice for the spectra echo through the air around it. Now you will know why you fear the night.
The spinning unicorn bone strikes the Annihilator in the head, but the attack glances off!
The spinning kobold strikes the Annihilator in the head, but the attack glances off!
Huh, it is unbreakable.
The kobold barely survives!
The spinning copper dagger embedded with pure hatred strikes Oiliolli in the head and the severed part flys off in arc!
Post by: Oliolli on April 15, 2012, 05:01:22 pm
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 05:04:26 pm
NO! Oiliolli! What have you done, you monster?!? He never did anything to you!
I know, just wanted to spill blood, your to epic to kill so I went with that guy.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Eric Blank on April 15, 2012, 05:18:59 pm
A Rainbow Annihilator Valikdu has come!
A monstrous creature in the shape of an alicorn, created by the Dark Voice. It has an unbreakable carapace and a pair of scything claws, plated with rainbow metal. The screams of all the ponies murdered by the Dark Voice for the spectra echo through the air around it. Now you will know why you fear the night.
A section of cavern has collapsed!
The Annihilitor has been crushed by a collapsing ceiling!
You have discovered the magma sea!
The crundle is caught in the boiling magma mist! x33
The Crundle has bled to death x33
Stop interrupting my construction projects ye bloody donkey!
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 05:21:14 pm
A Rainbow Annihilator Valikdu has come!
A monstrous creature in the shape of an alicorn, created by the Dark Voice. It has an unbreakable carapace and a pair of scything claws, plated with rainbow metal. The screams of all the ponies murdered by the Dark Voice for the spectra echo through the air around it. Now you will know why you fear the night.
A section of cavern has collapsed!
The Annihilitor has been crushed by a collapsing ceiling!
You have discovered the magma sea!
The crundle is caught in the boiling magma mist! x33
The Crundle has bled to death x33
Stop interrupting my construction projects ye bloody donkey!
Crundle! :-[
Post by: Talvieno on April 15, 2012, 05:56:12 pm
A Rainbow Annihilator Valikdu has come!Don't let it fool you... It's human... and after the food and booze. "Run away, run away!" it screams, "Run for your lives!" and when the pantry is unguarded, it strikes.
A monstrous creature in the shape of an alicorn, created by the Dark Voice. It has an unbreakable carapace and a pair of scything claws, plated with rainbow metal. The screams of all the ponies murdered by the Dark Voice for the spectra echo through the air around it. Now you will know why you fear the night.
(we've had this happen before)
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 15, 2012, 05:58:05 pm
Urist McOrky_Boss
Gen:
Skilled Wood Cutter
Novice Axedwarf
Dabbling Fighter
Dabbling Dodger
Dabbling Persuader
Dabbling Negotiator
Dabbling Judge of Intent
Dabbling Intimidator
Dabbling Conversationalist
Dabbling Comedian
Dabbling Flatterer
Dabbling Consoler
Dabbling Pacifier
Dabbling Observer
Inv:
Spider silk T-shirt
Spider Silk Underwear
Spider silk Pants
Spider silk Socks
Spider silk Cloak
Leather Breastplate
Prf:
Wood Cutting
Hauling
Wnd: *Normal*
Post by: davros on April 15, 2012, 06:04:07 pm
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 06:34:12 pm
Nothings cuter then a insane kobold, but still.
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 15, 2012, 06:43:39 pm
We need to invent Mountain Dew if im gonna stay sane.
Nothings cuter then a insane kobold, but still.
Orky_Boss Hacks the head of Corai The Kobold, and the severed limb sails in an ark!
"What? It's not like we can invent a drink on the spot... how would we even make fizzy water that in medieval times? Besides, I need some bones for this idea I have..."
*grabs kobold bones and heads back to the metalsmith forge*
Post by: WillowLuman on April 15, 2012, 06:44:45 pm
We need to invent Mountain Dew if im gonna stay sane.What about a Kobold with a horse skull on it's head?
Nothings cuter then a insane kobold, but still.
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 06:46:35 pm
Heh, one less loimb. I'll live. And are you making a Senient Creature Trophy? Thats against dwarven morales!
Post by: Fen on April 15, 2012, 09:18:23 pm
Hmmm, my loimb is missing.
Heh, one less loimb. I'll live. And are you making a Senient Creature Trophy? Thats against dwarven morales!
Un
Then we all claim each other to be vampires and tantrum spiral.
Post by: Splint on April 15, 2012, 09:19:49 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 15, 2012, 09:27:05 pm
I'd much rather take finger nails. Whole ones, of course, excruciatingly ripped right out of a living victim's fingers with a pair of pliers.
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 09:30:45 pm
KodKod, did you launch a attack on Toady to claim control over all of us.
Post by: Splint on April 15, 2012, 09:32:41 pm
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 09:37:00 pm
Nah. I just like skulls for some reason. Besides, I can't drink anything out of something with a hole through both sides of it. I'd probably just put them in a chest with thier owner's name under it.
Kobolds start running around screaming, several trying to claw at the ground to hide in a hidey-hole.
Post by: Splint on April 15, 2012, 09:38:28 pm
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 09:39:32 pm
I don't take most kobold skulls. Kobold leaders though....
Taps a kobolds shoulder.
Kobold: ?
HES THE LEADER OF THE TRIBE, SEE I DONT HAVE A HAT.
Kobold: !
Post by: RAKninja on April 15, 2012, 09:51:08 pm
perhaps we can set up a clothing industry and supply passing kobolds with hats.
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 09:52:34 pm
thats all the kobolds really want, really. just a respectable hat.
perhaps we can set up a clothing industry and supply passing kobolds with hats.
Yes. I would like that. Very much.
Post by: KodKod on April 15, 2012, 09:59:30 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on April 15, 2012, 10:01:50 pm
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 10:01:59 pm
I'm afraid that there is a hat monopoly on these forums.
Canihazhat?
Post by: KodKod on April 15, 2012, 10:05:42 pm
Das ist verboten!
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 10:07:27 pm
Nein! There will be no hats for anyone!
Das ist verboten!
....Can I have shoes atleast?
Post by: RAKninja on April 15, 2012, 10:33:45 pm
I like stetsons. Stetsons are cool.i still need to get one. all that time in the cavalry, and i never bought one.
Post by: Talvieno on April 15, 2012, 10:39:46 pm
I like stetsons. Stetsons are cool.Where's my fez?
Post by: Corai on April 15, 2012, 10:42:47 pm
It wont poison you, I promise!
Post by: Kofthefens on April 15, 2012, 10:44:12 pm
I like stetsons. Stetsons are cool.Where's my fez?
Fezzes are cool. One time, I made my own fez out of red felt and wore it to school. Coincidentally, I also had a map of Florida and some jammy-dodgers.
Post by: wierd on April 15, 2012, 10:52:57 pm
We need to invent Mountain Dew if im gonna stay sane.
Nothings cuter then a insane kobold, but still.
Orky_Boss Hacks the head of Corai The Kobold, and the severed limb sails in an ark!
"What? It's not like we can invent a drink on the spot... how would we even make fizzy water that in medieval times? Besides, I need some bones for this idea I have..."
*grabs kobold bones and heads back to the metalsmith forge*
Fizzy water is just carbon dioxide gas suspended in ordinary water.
It happens naturally.
In addition to the natural volcanic method, it could be done artificially the "dwarven way", by building what ammounts to a synthetic aquifer filled with nice clean water, through which a section of pipe conducts the gasses from another chamber in which limestone is dropped into magma, and stirred. Limestone is calcium carbonate, and a large percentage of its mass is chemically bound carbon dioxide gas.
If neither of those methods floats your boat, you can build an atmospheric gas compressor and fractional distillation tower complex as a megaproject. Carbon dioxide will form ice at the bottom of the distillation tower. (How co2 is commercially produced.)
Of the 3, #1 is the most likely, and #2 is plausible. #3 would require exposing the dwarves to stainless steel for the pressure vessel tanks, and vastly improving their smelting and forging technologies.
As for this latter bit about trophy taking? I delight in memories. Abusing a victim's body can be entertaining, but the slow, cumulative destruction of a mind? Priceless.
I torture psychologically. Abuse the "rival method" of training and conditioning. Twist operant conditioning. Make the victim do things unconciously that they despise, to induce self hatred, and bring attention to this fact. Oh yes. My methods are slow and terrible, but leave the physical body completely unharmed. :)
Sentient trophy? What about clearcut elven retreat..... clearcut by elves? :D
Post by: WillowLuman on April 15, 2012, 11:13:37 pm
Post by: wierd on April 15, 2012, 11:23:46 pm
It is made of exceptional ropereed cloth, skillfully dyed red with redroot dye.
On the item is an image of double crescents in pigtail. The image is the symbol for the local dwarven civilization.
On the item is a tassle made of ropereed fiber, skillfully dyed yellow with osage orange heartwood dye.
Post by: Fen on April 16, 2012, 01:34:47 am
Ugh. Taking skulls as trophies is so... machismo. What's next, are you planning on turning them into a cup and drinking beer out of them whilst singing rowdy songs?
I'd much rather take finger nails. Whole ones, of course, excruciatingly ripped right out of a living victim's fingers with a pair of pliers.
I would take the skull and put it on a shelf in my quarters, Skulls are where knowledge is kept. In times of dire need, the skulls of my slain enemies will be asked for advice. Before then, though, I'll take the hearts of my enemies and eat them whole, because that's where a warrior's power comes from. Thus, I will have all the knowledge and strength of my slain opponents.
And yes, the heart has to be raw. The power is destroyed if you burn it, even if only a little.
Post by: Zaerosz on April 16, 2012, 01:37:04 am
Post by: Splint on April 16, 2012, 01:49:03 am
I seem to recall some method of making solid bricks out of bone. If that's true, I'd build myself a house from the powdered and moulded skeletons of my enemies.
Someone made a string of custom reactions to make building material from bone. I'll bet anything built from it would actually look quite intimidating
Ugh. Taking skulls as trophies is so... machismo. What's next, are you planning on turning them into a cup and drinking beer out of them whilst singing rowdy songs?
I'd much rather take finger nails. Whole ones, of course, excruciatingly ripped right out of a living victim's fingers with a pair of pliers.
I would take the skull and put it on a shelf in my quarters, Skulls are where knowledge is kept. In times of dire need, the skulls of my slain enemies will be asked for advice. Before then, though, I'll take the hearts of my enemies and eat them whole, because that's where a warrior's power comes from. Thus, I will have all the knowledge and strength of my slain opponents.
And yes, the heart has to be raw. The power is destroyed if you burn it, even if only a little.
I had taken to eating raw hearts too, but the skulls for adivce thing is actually a nice touch.... Man I wish dwarves would take trohpies of slain enemies.... Perhaps I must do some ethic modding...
Post by: Talvieno on April 16, 2012, 03:49:38 am
I felt better after that, actually.
Post by: Fen on April 16, 2012, 05:43:32 am
Eating hearts? A bit too cannibalistic for my tastes... (animals, maybe; humanoids... not me.) The only time I've really ever taken the head off of anything was a dragon I had to slay in adventure mode. I kept spawning as a dwarf in a human city, going to the lord of the local fortress and asking for a mission... He kept giving me that dragon. Time and time again - and, as you'd expect, time and time again I died. I finally killed it, with a swordsdwarf/marksdwarf cross, and was careful to cut off its head. Then I brought it back to the lord and threw it at his feet... I was new to adventuring, I expected riches and wealth or something. "May he rot forever in the underworld" or some such phrase was all I got... I was a bit frustrated, honestly... I picked the head back up and mauled the lord to death with it. Gave him his precious dragon.
I felt better after that, actually.
It's only cannibalism if you're the same species! Also, it's your enemies, so eating sentients doesn't matter; the word "enemy" makes every horrible thing ever perfectly A-OK.
Post by: Gizogin on April 16, 2012, 06:32:53 am
Anyway, it's probably about time you lot had your physicals. That's something doctors do, right? Give people physicals?
Post by: Splint on April 16, 2012, 06:41:29 am
Post by: Archereon on April 16, 2012, 08:37:19 am
TIME FOR YOUR...EXAMINATION!!!!
(Read that in the Medic's voice.)
Post by: Oliolli on April 16, 2012, 09:19:41 am
Ah, I see eet is time for me to get to work...(being the doctor)
TIME FOR YOUR...EXAMINATION!!!!
(Read that in the Medic's voice.)
Zhis next operation will be... excruciating!
Post by: wierd on April 16, 2012, 12:43:48 pm
Here's a nice homebrew one:
Coarsely refined scopalamine from bella donna plant puree. (Created through repeated alcohol extraction and slow crystallization.)
+
Raw opium.
Result: mixed narcotic agent that induces twilight sleep. (It has nothing to do with vampires.) Patient is still technically awake, but in a deep hypnogogic state, and quite numb from the opium. You could cut them wide open, and they wouldn't feel a thing... until later.
Only a few teensy problems: low thereputic index, (dangerous dose and useful anesthetic dose are very near each other) and very addictive.
It is similar to 19th century anesthetics, like lodinum. (Opiate mixed with alcohol spirit)
Another alternative is chloroform. (Methane trichloride). Created by subjecting methane to anerobic environment of chlorine gas, and high temperatures. Produces hydrochloric acid, and various chloromethanes, including chloroform. These can be seperated fairly well with controlled heating and distillation. A glass retort and alembic should suffice, if you can control the heat source sufficiently.
Only problem with chloroform, is that all the other psychopaths in the fortress would want to spray it out nozzels durring sieges to knock-out/kill goblin invaders/elves, however, due to the way it reacts with atmospheric oxygen in the presence of ultraviolet light from the sun, it changes into phosgene, a deadly neurotoxin that gained infamy as an illegal munition under the geneva convention after world war 1.
Personally, I would refuse to produce more than a few liters of it a year, and only for surgical prep. The danger of releasing it inside the fortress uncontrolled, or worse, the release of phosgene, are just too high. You don't screw around with chloroform.
Post by: KodKod on April 16, 2012, 12:57:22 pm
Post by: wierd on April 16, 2012, 01:03:28 pm
However, unskilled administration will suppress the central nervous system to lethal levels. Spraying it as amist out a nozzel is practically garanteed to kill the people exposed.
Phosgene is a gas, that smells faintly of hippy...er....... "cut grass". It is deadly in very low concentrations, and pools in subterene environs. This means the fortress is a death trap if you are screwing around with it, and done have access to powerful, and immediate external ventillation.
That's why dwarves shouldn't play with phosgene. :)
Post by: Archereon on April 16, 2012, 01:32:11 pm
Namely people stealing it to get high. Then half the fortress is addicted to opium, and refuses to do anything leading to the gobbos getting inside and killing everyone.
Post by: Gizogin on April 16, 2012, 01:58:57 pm
Post by: Talvieno on April 16, 2012, 03:19:59 pm
Wierd, your knowledge of chemistry as it pertains to poisons and such is a little bit frightening. I look forward to working closely with you on medical !!SCIENCE!! in the days to come.Frightening, yes, but I doubt he'd let you work closely with him... lol He seems the type that would prefer to work alone.
And by "work alone", I mean, "come and visit every now and then."
Think of Wierd as someone coming to trade at the depot. I think that's most likely how things would go.
Wierd - assuming you were a trader, what would you take in return for your aspirin, soap and anesthetics?
Post by: Splint on April 16, 2012, 03:24:11 pm
Post by: Archereon on April 16, 2012, 03:27:35 pm
Post by: Splint on April 16, 2012, 03:32:57 pm
Post by: wierd on April 16, 2012, 03:33:49 pm
The good news is that I also have knowledge of antidotes.
Eg, poisoning by nerve gas is usually done with administration of atropine, found in bella donna as well, but higher atropine and lower scopolamnine can be found in datura. (Aka, jimsonweed, moon flower) the jimson weed is comonly abused as a psychoactive due to its tropane alkaloids.
If given the choice between death and wild, psychotic, and terrifying hallucenations of having insects under the skin and having the devil come to dinner, I would choose the latter.
As with all medications, the lowest possibly effective dose is what you apply. :)
As I pointed out, I had a rather disturbed childhood. My dad was a medical corpsman in the korean war. He's never been right upstairs for as long as I can remember. Still, nothing quite like getting military issue improvised munitions manuals, and battlefield surgical training (living on a farm, injured animals are a harsh reality. I've sewn up plenty of gaping body cavity wounds, just not on people. I hate it. I could never be a doctor) as a consequence of a disturbed but loving dad trying to prepare his kids for the world.
I know about 7 different ways to create IEDs, how to hotwire a vehicle, the finer parts of poisons and antidotes, field surgical techniques to stop bleeding, repair mutilated arteries, and control infection, some scary dangerous pyrochemistry, and bizzarrely semi-useful things like how to tie thatched rooves, pitfire ceramic earthenware, make rope, start fires, identify edible plants and how to cook them, and all that jazz.
I think I could probably do a youtube "survivorman" knockoff fairly well. :)
All in all, I really don't resent my childhood. While over the top, scary, and completely detatched from civilized social mores, dad's stark view of "the real world" has left me very hardened against political rhetoric, psychological shock, and has pretty much destroyed any culturally programmed "learned helplessness" in my psyche.
By all accounts, I could well be described as being quite mad, I suppose. I've certainly never been accused of being "normal". I don't consider myself dangerous, as I have neither the desire, inclination, or motivation to employ the vast reserves of that "education". It's nice to know, in a twisted, paranoid, and horrible way. If I *needed* it, it's there, waiting. But I hope to never ever open the doors on that sordid little pantry door, if you understand me.
Having been in nitty gritty circumstances, I know I can work under pressure of imminent fatality (having experienced), and the conditioning I got allows me to just act, rather than freeze up with terror. That alone is worth the psychological eccentricities.
Personally though, I would rather of had kodkod's vinter's education. :)
What would I take in trade for aspirin, soap, and medications?
Hmm... metal trade goods of a utilitarian nature. Kives, cleavers, axes, that sort of thing. Tanned leather and spun yarngoods are good choices too. Depending on availability, I would probaly buy seeds as well.
Post by: Splint on April 16, 2012, 03:49:47 pm
I know a few things, but the only useful one is using a really good piece of pipe, some gunpowder of sufficent quanity and some shrapnal to make an improvised shotgun/blunderbuss.
I know, bieng a little envious of someone who had a.... Different childhood is screwed up, but it's the kind of information I'd like to know in case I ever needed it.
Post by: wierd on April 16, 2012, 04:28:35 pm
I really don't want to give a long discussion on guerrilla combat and stealth elimination techniques. People probably worry about me enough already. :)
Google indexes this forum, so I should probaly exercise some discretion. :D
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 16, 2012, 05:01:39 pm
Improvised shotgun is too dangerous. Risk or bore failure and self-inflicted injury is too high, and would only be effective at close quarters.
But... It's a shotgun. In a Dwarf Fortress in the twelfth bay. It is quite possibly the best (and worst) place for improvised boom sticks :D
Post by: wierd on April 16, 2012, 05:22:03 pm
Perhaps some spring loaded constantina wire traps as well... :D
Post by: KodKod on April 16, 2012, 05:35:01 pm
Post by: Naryar on April 16, 2012, 05:48:25 pm
No, by all means let other people risk their lives with improvised weapons. It saves me some effort down the line.
...So not only you want to kill dwarves, you seem to want to kill everyone ?
What's the point ?
Post by: Splint on April 16, 2012, 06:07:38 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 16, 2012, 06:14:00 pm
...So not only you want to kill dwarves, you seem to want to kill everyone ?
What's the point ?
I do not necessarily want to kill everyone, you're just assuming that what I said implies that I want to kill everyone.
Instead it would be more correct to say that I do not want to kill anyone, but should any specific person's death become, at any point, a favourable outcome for me it would be easier if they were already dead as opposed to having to organise it at the time.
It's logical.
Post by: Spinal_Taper on April 16, 2012, 06:14:49 pm
Chaotic Neutral/Evil...So not only you want to kill dwarves, you seem to want to kill everyone ?
What's the point ?
I do not necessarily want to kill everyone, you're just assuming that what I said implies that I want to kill everyone.
Instead it would be more correct to say that I do not want to kill anyone, but should any specific person's death become, at any point, a favourable outcome for me it would be easier if they were already dead as opposed to having to organise it at the time.
It's logical.
Post by: wierd on April 16, 2012, 06:22:45 pm
The more intelligent stand back and watch.
In the case of the ambitious like ms. Kodkod, this natural pruning simply cuts down on the competition, and leaves more for her.
In my case, not choosing to die for queen and country is merely prudent. "Team" is simply a clever way to spell "meat", afterall. I prefer to remain in one piece, and kill in secret, from a distance.
As such, should kodkod succeed in her regal ambitions, it would be inevitable that she and I would come into direct opposition eventually. I prefer complete personal autonomy, and am not vulnerable to sheild beating, saber rattling, nationalist propoganda, and am adept at seeing through plots and plans of schemers. As such, my unwillingness to submit to her rule as an absolute monarch would create an unsufferable situation, in which she would seek to get me into her scorpion pit, even if it means killing the oddball who makes the delightful skin creams.
Of course, the situation would be different if my gender was different, but being of the bearded menace, my fate would be sealed. Too strong a personality, with too many skills, and a lack of state dependence (and thus, unneeding of her rule) would write my own death warrant.
That's the way power struggles turn out.
She might be content to imprison me for life, chained to an alchemy aparatus in her own twisted version of the tower of london though. That way she could still get cosmetics and emolients out of me.
Sadly, people like me tend to know how to destroy iron chains, and how to gently demolish walls with controlled explosives. Keeping me in the tower would be a genuine accomplishment.
Post by: Splint on April 16, 2012, 06:31:30 pm
Post by: wierd on April 16, 2012, 06:35:32 pm
I am devious in the extreme. I would exploit this.
Post by: KodKod on April 16, 2012, 06:35:51 pm
Sadly, people like me tend to know how to destroy iron chains, and how to gently demolish walls with controlled explosives. Keeping me in the tower would be a genuine accomplishment.
The more prudent question is are you able to destroy iron chains and break out of a tower without any limbs?
In truth in this hypothetical scenario you are describing I doubt that we would come to blows unless you have any particular desire to usurp my throne. Unless I have a specific use for someone then they are going to find themselves largely ignored by me, by all means crawl off into a cave and fend for yourself.
Plus you said "Ms". If you had addressed me as "Miss" I would have slit your throat.
Post by: Splint on April 16, 2012, 06:41:12 pm
Post by: wierd on April 16, 2012, 06:49:01 pm
(As for Ms. Mrs. Mme. Et al, "mrs.", and "Mme." Have specific connotations that I doubt you would find favorable. Though I imagine you might giggle (at first) to 'lady' kodkod. Given the lack information, and the informality of "miz", with the above noted, Ms. Seemed the most appropriate, given the current lack of established title. When responding personally, I would probably use Ma'am.)
It was not meant in any disparaging manner, I assure you.
As for escaping the tower without limbs..... likewise, how would I make beauty aides without arms or hands either? I could see you mutilating my face... perhaps cutting out the tounge, or removing ears or toes.... but I expect you would leave the hands alone.
Post by: KodKod on April 16, 2012, 07:47:27 pm
Chaotic Neutral/Evil
I do not personally consider myself to be evil, but chaotic neutral is certainly apt. Whether anyone else considers me to be evil... well who knows? I can think of a few people who feel that way about me.
As for escaping the tower without limbs..... likewise, how would I make beauty aides without arms or hands either?
Scented soaps et alles are luxuries that I do not necessarily need. Though if you were to live apart from society I can envision sending a trade caravan over to you in order to barter for some. You buy cat? Cat very fresh, very good quality.
Cat not for sale!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 16, 2012, 08:06:35 pm
I have no experience whatsoever with modern weaponry, but I was once the president of the middle-school archery club back in the day, and have won a few events. Also, all the targets at the range I used to go to were human-shaped, so I believe I could hit someone in the chest or even the neck. By nature I am a pacifist, though.
Kodkod, I don't believe anyone thinks of themselves as really evil. No one takes an action while wholeheartedly thinking "Mwahahahaha!" There is always some way they justify it to themselves, make themselves think they are in the right.
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 08:09:29 pm
ILL BRING THE RENAISSANCE TO DWARF FORTRESS.
Post by: KodKod on April 16, 2012, 08:25:03 pm
Kodkod, I don't believe anyone thinks of themselves as really evil. No one takes an action while wholeheartedly thinking "Mwahahahaha!" There is always some way they justify it to themselves, make themselves think they are in the right.
I dunno, I've done destructive things in the past purely for the sake of my own twisted, disproportionate retribution knowing full well that I'm in the wrong. I just figure that I balance it out by rescuing a few cats from trees. I do bad things but I'm not a bad person at heart, I suppose it is.
I do not eat the cats.
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 08:27:23 pm
You feed the cats to kobolds then eat the kobolds then. Or other senient species that is impossibly adorable.....Nope, kobolds.Kodkod, I don't believe anyone thinks of themselves as really evil. No one takes an action while wholeheartedly thinking "Mwahahahaha!" There is always some way they justify it to themselves, make themselves think they are in the right.
I dunno, I've done destructive things in the past purely for the sake of my own twisted, disproportionate retribution knowing full well that I'm in the wrong. I just figure that I balance it out by rescuing a few cats from trees. I do bad things but I'm not a bad person at heart, I suppose it is.
I do not eat the cats.
Post by: wierd on April 16, 2012, 08:29:37 pm
*thought.. cocoa butter would work nicely as a softener in lipstick base.... should make a lipbalm out of it some time...
A royal lady needs to look lovely, does she not? ;)
Post by: KodKod on April 16, 2012, 08:32:51 pm
A royal lady needs to look lovely, does she not? ;)
I was thinking 'intimidating'.
Cocoa butter lip balm, however, would be delicious. I would eat that all day.
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 08:34:42 pm
Hell, I bet you would eat a person if they were made of Cocoa butter.
Post by: Archereon on April 16, 2012, 08:37:33 pm
There's saltpeter in Dwarf Fortress. Along with some other stuff (brimstone/sulfur, something that can be found in urine I think, ect.) that could be used to make black powder. Dorfen metallurgy is probably good enough to make reasonably advanced firearms (or rather, the most advanced form of firearm people know how it works)...
With that kind of technology, we could easily take over the world, then get to work making all that uranium (in ore form ) that's laying around useful >)
Post by: KodKod on April 16, 2012, 08:40:23 pm
Whats with you and Cocoa butter ANYTHING?
Hell, I bet you would eat a person if they were made of Cocoa butter.
Cocoa butter has the most alluring aroma of anything ever created. It smells like the chocolate that the gods of Olympus would eat.
Unfortunately people are not generally made out of cocoa butter, and Dwarf Fortress has no Cocoa Butter Elementpeople. However... smearing cocoa butter onto the lips of a beautiful woman is well within the realm of possibility.
Wierd can produce the finest in cocoa butter lip balm for which he shall be paid well, and the royal guard can find the most beautiful women in the fortress. I would be a very happy KodKod on that day.
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 08:43:18 pm
Whats with you and Cocoa butter ANYTHING?
Hell, I bet you would eat a person if they were made of Cocoa butter.
Cocoa butter has the most alluring aroma of anything ever created. It smells like the chocolate that the gods of Olympus would eat.
Unfortunately people are not generally made out of cocoa butter, and Dwarf Fortress has no Cocoa Butter Elementpeople. However... smearing cocoa butter onto the lips of a beautiful woman is well within the realm of possibility.
Wierd can produce the finest in cocoa butter lip balm for which he shall be paid well, and the royal guard can find the most beautiful women in the fortress. I would be a very happy KodKod on that day.
First of all, they would just go "....Here you go" to kiss up. As not giving you the balm would be saying your not the prettiest woman. Thus causing you to kill them.
And second, I assume you spend $300 a month on lip-balm?
Post by: KodKod on April 16, 2012, 08:57:24 pm
I don’t make a habit of eating cocoa butter lip balm; the good stuff is all hand-made and therefore more difficult to come across, so it’s more of a rare treat.
Random aside: Did you know that the scattered factoids going around suggesting that ‘the average woman inadvertently swallows several pounds of lipstick over the course of her life’ are entirely false?
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 08:58:59 pm
Except me, Im a naked-face kobold. :D
Post by: Gizogin on April 16, 2012, 09:13:13 pm
I'd probably classify myself as "Neutral Evil."
It might seem strange, then, that I would volunteer to be the CMD. After all, doctors are meant to help people. I do actually benefit from it, though. As the CMD, I hold a great deal of power and influence, and because I perform a very vital task which few are able to do, I have job security. I also get access to just about everyone, should I ever need it for any reason.
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 09:14:48 pm
I do actually see myself as "Evil," though not in the "do bad things just for their own sake" way. I am a selfish person; I do not really see any reason to put other people's needs above my own, unless I clearly and directly benefit from it. I can be nice and polite, and I generally am, but only because I see no downsides to doing so, while being rude and mean has some clearly harmful effects. I am "Evil" in the sense that I put my own needs first, whereas someone "Good" would put others ahead of him- or herself.
I'd probably classify myself as "Neutral Evil."
It might seem strange, then, that I would volunteer to be the CMD. After all, doctors are meant to help people. I do actually benefit from it, though. As the CMD, I hold a great deal of power and influence, and because I perform a very vital task which few are able to do, I have job security. I also get access to just about everyone, should I ever need it for any reason.
We share the same mind-set. I MUST KILL YOU TO REMAIN UNIQUE.
Post by: Gizogin on April 16, 2012, 09:19:53 pm
I do actually see myself as "Evil," though not in the "do bad things just for their own sake" way. I am a selfish person; I do not really see any reason to put other people's needs above my own, unless I clearly and directly benefit from it. I can be nice and polite, and I generally am, but only because I see no downsides to doing so, while being rude and mean has some clearly harmful effects. I am "Evil" in the sense that I put my own needs first, whereas someone "Good" would put others ahead of him- or herself.
I'd probably classify myself as "Neutral Evil."
It might seem strange, then, that I would volunteer to be the CMD. After all, doctors are meant to help people. I do actually benefit from it, though. As the CMD, I hold a great deal of power and influence, and because I perform a very vital task which few are able to do, I have job security. I also get access to just about everyone, should I ever need it for any reason.
We share the same mind-set. I MUST KILL YOU TO REMAIN UNIQUE.
Let's see, how do I react to this?
Oh, duh.
BRING IT, DOG-FACE! I'll make you hurt in places you didn't know you had!
Post by: wierd on April 16, 2012, 09:25:45 pm
This is most likely due to cost. Cocoa butter is rather expensive, despite having fantastic skin conditioning qualities, and being loaded with oil based antioxidants, like vitamin E. It is commonly sold nearly pure as a beauty aid, and as a preparation to reduce the production of stretch-marks due to pregnancy. Comparatively, cottonseed and sunflower oils are produced hundreds of gallons at a time, and can be obtained for mere pennies per liter.
Natural beeswax has a faint honey like aroma, and distilled glycerol is naturally sweet and warming when placed on skin. 70% beeswax, 20% cocoa butter, 5% glycerol, 4.98% water, and .02% real vanilla extract whipped really good would make a fine lipbalm I think.
A tiny touch of actual honey might also work, but its easy to ruin a subtle hint with outright heavy handed flavor. (Raw wax has a scent, but not a flavor.)
I am compelled to perform experiments now. I will hit the beauty aisle of the local market to see if I can score some cocoa butter. I can get glycerol at GNC. It's sold as a reduced glycemic index sweetener there and at other healthfood stores. (It also has well known humectant and moisturizing qualities, as well as keeping the preparation smooth. It has the consistency of white corn syrup, and never dries out. It's a staple in moisture whips.)
Now.. do I dare produce a sweet, edible cocoa butter body lotion? No... the female human merchant caravans would never be safe if I did that. :)
(Ninja'd)
I don't think you are shallow or image insecure. Wanting to look attractive, and being jealous about appearances are not the same thing. Well cared for skin is as much about healthy skin as it is about attractiveness as well. The purpose of a lip balm is to hold in moisture, to keep lips fry drying and scaling. A runnier, more oil rich version produces a lip gloss, which may also contain crushed mica powder for added lustre. I clearly understand the line between petty vanity, and simply wanting to look and smell nice. My mom was the type that never used makeup ever, and never took care of her skin, and in her old age, it realy shows. Taking good care of your skin and avoiding a lot of the nastier chemicals in commercial preparations (cyclosiloxane? Dimethicone? Why not just slather refinery waste on your skin! Perhaps some coal oil!) Will help you live longer if you also practice good rules about sun exposure.
No, the cosmetic line would be formulated for application, utility, and skin health as well as cosmetic function. I personally don't wear the stuff, but I do use a good moisturizer. (One of the things that makes people wonder about my orientation.) My sister went so far as to call me "metro" once, to which I promplty drew attention to my walmart discount wardrobe, and lax festidiousness about my hairstyle, and spartan household furnishings. These days will all the crap in the air, skin protection is just prudent if you don't want spots when you are old.
I do spot test batches of cosmetics when I do make them for people, to make sure they wear well. I refuse to give friends grease paint. :)
Post by: WillowLuman on April 16, 2012, 09:29:25 pm
I do actually see myself as "Evil," though not in the "do bad things just for their own sake" way. I am a selfish person; I do not really see any reason to put other people's needs above my own, unless I clearly and directly benefit from it. I can be nice and polite, and I generally am, but only because I see no downsides to doing so, while being rude and mean has some clearly harmful effects. I am "Evil" in the sense that I put my own needs first, whereas someone "Good" would put others ahead of him- or herself.There you go, that's your justification. People can get the words "good" and "evil" arranged in various ways in their heads, but deep down to you acting the way you do is "good" because it benefits you.
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 09:30:58 pm
I do actually see myself as "Evil," though not in the "do bad things just for their own sake" way. I am a selfish person; I do not really see any reason to put other people's needs above my own, unless I clearly and directly benefit from it. I can be nice and polite, and I generally am, but only because I see no downsides to doing so, while being rude and mean has some clearly harmful effects. I am "Evil" in the sense that I put my own needs first, whereas someone "Good" would put others ahead of him- or herself.
I'd probably classify myself as "Neutral Evil."
It might seem strange, then, that I would volunteer to be the CMD. After all, doctors are meant to help people. I do actually benefit from it, though. As the CMD, I hold a great deal of power and influence, and because I perform a very vital task which few are able to do, I have job security. I also get access to just about everyone, should I ever need it for any reason.
We share the same mind-set. I MUST KILL YOU TO REMAIN UNIQUE.
Let's see, how do I react to this?
Oh, duh.
BRING IT, DOG-FACE! I'll make you hurt in places you didn't know you had!
BRING IT, TINY BEARD!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 16, 2012, 09:31:57 pm
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 09:50:59 pm
If I was turned into a dwarf, I'd shave. I hate the feel of scratchy faces.
Join me in my kobold camp! We have the following!
-42 food
-31 drink
:D
Post by: wierd on April 16, 2012, 09:54:10 pm
I have a rather odd view when it comes to "good/bad", and "normal".
Good and evil are for the most part culturally based, rather than universal. For instances, many native south american tribal peoples of the amazon practice infanticide if the child cannot be cared for. (This can even be quite brutal.) Most people in western industrial societies would consider this abhorrently apalling. Then again, our desire for gender equality, easy access to abortions, and female politicians are unspeakably apalling to fundementalists in middle eastern countries. It is very much a sliding scale.
Likewise, laws can be useful, and beneficial for the maximum number of persons in a country, or they can be officious racketeering engineered to enrich a tiny, monied minority.
If the law is demonstrably deleterious to the actual health of the nation, the law should be violated wherever possible, for the health of the nation. The idea that "illegal = bad" does not fly with me.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 16, 2012, 10:04:31 pm
My fort has been trespassed upon by kobolds with "very long beard"sIf I was turned into a dwarf, I'd shave. I hate the feel of scratchy faces.
Join me in my kobold camp! We have the following!
-42 food
-31 drink
:D
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 10:05:41 pm
My fort has been trespassed upon by kobolds with "very long beard"sIf I was turned into a dwarf, I'd shave. I hate the feel of scratchy faces.
Join me in my kobold camp! We have the following!
-42 food
-31 drink
:D
Kobolds have no hair. Those were
Post by: wierd on April 16, 2012, 10:12:47 pm
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 10:14:16 pm
Really? I always imagine toady's kobolds with short, fuzzy fur on their body, and very short mousy fur on faces, hands, and bellies....
I go by cutebolds, its near universally accepted kobolds are hairless and look like my avatar, but gray.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 16, 2012, 10:15:45 pm
I'd have to call Fanon on that, but whatever. I just know that in the unmodded game, they can have facial hair (but not head hair).Really? I always imagine toady's kobolds with short, fuzzy fur on their body, and very short mousy fur on faces, hands, and bellies....
I go by cutebolds, its near universally accepted kobolds are hairless and look like my avatar, but gray.
Post by: wierd on April 16, 2012, 10:16:49 pm
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 10:18:27 pm
...........I think.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 16, 2012, 10:19:11 pm
Their skin is always brown, and their eyes are always yellow. Muzzles (dog or lizard-like) are open to interpretation. Though they do lay eggs.
I don't want to derail this thread into a kobold appearance debate, though.
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 10:23:21 pm
All the ingame desc says about them is "A small, squat humanoid with large pointy ears and yellow glowing eyes."
Their skin is always brown, and their eyes are always yellow. Muzzles (dog or lizard-like) are open to interpretation. Though they do lay eggs.
I don't want to derail this thread into a kobold appearance debate, though.
You may be too late. Everyone to the bunkers.
Post by: Spinal_Taper on April 16, 2012, 10:28:54 pm
A lone migrant has arrived despite the danger!
Post by: wierd on April 16, 2012, 10:33:47 pm
I imagine a short (2-3ft tall tops) creature with spindly caniform legs, doggy pointy ears, a very short knob tail, very short brown body fur, and yellow glowing eyes.
Doesn't have nipples, and secretes milk from "patches" of skin, where it gets whicked by the short fur, as per monotremes.
I envision them as a cross between a rat warren, Fraggles, and mischevious pixies, with features of lovecraft's ghouls. (See pickman's model, for a literary description.)
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 10:36:39 pm
Post by: wierd on April 16, 2012, 10:42:26 pm
(So says the local resident vermin...)
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 10:44:20 pm
You deface the surface, but only elves care.
You unleash untold horrors onto the world.
You dig what was never to be dug, defiling your gods.
YOUR BEARDS ARE SENIENT, DEFAQ?
Edit: And your kings, there insane. Oh what that freak did to my sister......oh god...........I can never unsee that.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 16, 2012, 10:49:22 pm
Your the vermins, you destroy natural art.And maybe one day Dwarves will give a crap about kobolds if one of them goes down to the HFS and steals something from it.
You deface the surface, but only elves care.
You unleash untold horrors onto the world.
You dig what was never to be dug, defiling your gods.
YOUR BEARDS ARE SENIENT, DEFAQ?
Edit: And your kings, there insane. Oh what that freak did to my sister......oh god...........I can never unsee that.
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 10:50:10 pm
Your the vermins, you destroy natural art.And maybe one day Dwarves will give a crap about kobolds if one of them goes down to the HFS and steals something from it.
You deface the surface, but only elves care.
You unleash untold horrors onto the world.
You dig what was never to be dug, defiling your gods.
YOUR BEARDS ARE SENIENT, DEFAQ?
Edit: And your kings, there insane. Oh what that freak did to my sister......oh god...........I can never unsee that.
Maybe if YOU DIDNT KILL US WE COULD REACH IT!
Post by: Spinal_Taper on April 16, 2012, 10:50:49 pm
Your the vermins, you destroy natural art.Oh god, not that topic. BACK ON THE RAILS PEOPLE! BEFORE THE MEMORIES RESURFACE!
You deface the surface, but only elves care.
You unleash untold horrors onto the world.
You dig what was never to be dug, defiling your gods.
YOUR BEARDS ARE SENIENT, DEFAQ?
Edit: And your kings, there insane. Oh what that freak did to my sister......oh god...........I can never unsee that.
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 10:52:40 pm
Your the vermins, you destroy natural art.Oh god, not that topic. BACK ON THE RAILS PEOPLE! BEFORE THE MEMORIES RESURFACE!
You deface the surface, but only elves care.
You unleash untold horrors onto the world.
You dig what was never to be dug, defiling your gods.
YOUR BEARDS ARE SENIENT, DEFAQ?
Edit: And your kings, there insane. Oh what that freak did to my sister......oh god...........I can never unsee that.
Trololololo-Wait I mean
Kobkobkobmobkobkobkob.
Post by: Cellmonk on April 16, 2012, 10:58:11 pm
I think this guy is me (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMswp3LyVQg)
Post by: WillowLuman on April 16, 2012, 11:03:41 pm
speaking of monotremes, I always thought kangaroos were badass. never knew kangaroos laid eggs though. I always thought they were birthed as little guys and crawled up to a pouch to suck on a nipple. how wrong I was.Kangaroos are marsupials...
I think this guy is me (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMswp3LyVQg)
They don't lay eggs, they just develop the fetus in their pouch instead of in a placenta
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 11:04:39 pm
I vote we go on goblin-genocide!
Post by: wierd on April 16, 2012, 11:07:24 pm
I thought you were trying to "use your spear" on him corai........
He said he misses you, and that he has a nice warm cage waiting if you ever decide to come back......
Post by: WillowLuman on April 16, 2012, 11:08:00 pm
SOMEONE PUT THIS BACK ON THE RAILS.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTsvwBkVdKw
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 11:08:44 pm
(Resists temptation..... fails saving throw)
I thought you were trying to "use your spear" on him corai........
He said he misses you, and that he has a nice warm cage waiting if you ever decide to come back......
RAILS, THE RAILS ARE SNAPPING.
And so is my sanity.
Post by: Cellmonk on April 16, 2012, 11:09:56 pm
SOMEONE PUT THIS BACK ON THE RAILS.
I vote we go on goblin-genocide!
that's the spirit. we need to form a squad. people join and state their weapon slash weaknesses, and we vote on a militia commander.
I'm a somewhat weak, untrained, and prone to injury spearman. I tend to mix up my armor, and dodge into bad places.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 16, 2012, 11:11:26 pm
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 11:12:03 pm
SOMEONE PUT THIS BACK ON THE RAILS.
I vote we go on goblin-genocide!
that's the spirit. we need to form a squad. people join and state their weapon slash weaknesses, and we vote on a militia commander.
I'm a somewhat weak, untrained, and prone to injury spearman. I tend to mix up my armor, and dodge into bad places.
Im tiny, need custom made weapons and armor, and I can move without noise. I can get torn in half by a rabbit but I can kill anything if I have a dagger.
*Legendary +5 knife user*
@Hugo
Lolwut?
Post by: WillowLuman on April 16, 2012, 11:14:02 pm
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 11:15:00 pm
.....Okay everyone, were moving into HFS. Put on your scary costumes.
....I SAID SCARY, NOT TERRIFYING!
The kobolds are dressed as flowers and elves.
Post by: wierd on April 16, 2012, 11:15:44 pm
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 11:16:46 pm
The manamaid busts a sexy move!
The kobold explodes in confusion!
FREEBLE, NO!
Post by: wierd on April 16, 2012, 11:19:36 pm
That should kill him dead when it busts a sexy move in his quarters.
*note: one of the things talvieno was experimenting with was a race of "humanoid manatees" called manamaids. They have a "paralysis/coma" inducing attack, called "bust a sexy move."
It causes massive area effect paralysis.
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 11:21:08 pm
We should catch a manamaid, put it in a glass terrarium, cover it with a pigtail sheet emblazoned with a "wear eye protection! Do not look at manamaid with remaining eyes!" Warning, then send it to that king friend of corai's.
That should kill him dead when it busts a sexy move in his quarters.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU!
The kobold begins hugging Weird's leg.
THANK YOU!
Post by: KodKod on April 16, 2012, 11:25:23 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Corai on April 16, 2012, 11:26:00 pm
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I love you, I love you so much for that.
Post by: Fen on April 16, 2012, 11:32:53 pm
Anybody else wearing socks at this very minute? Mine are black.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 16, 2012, 11:34:51 pm
...
Now there's a quote that can be exploited out of context
Post by: KodKod on April 16, 2012, 11:39:07 pm
Aaaand now we're back on topic. I think. I can never tell when I'm on these forums.
Anybody else wearing socks at this very minute? Mine are black.
I am also wearing black socks. That is a truly astounding coincidence.
Mind, blown.
Post by: Talvieno on April 16, 2012, 11:56:51 pm
I feel guilty now, because I just realized Talvenio is testing a mod.Not sure why you should feel guilty...
Just took mine off.This might explain it, though.
As far as socks go... I'm not wearing any. Oh, and the paralysis/coma thing also makes the unlucky viewers bleed from their eyes.
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?And that was perfect. lolSpoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Kofthefens on April 17, 2012, 12:08:53 am
Post by: Eric Blank on April 17, 2012, 01:45:19 am
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 17, 2012, 05:00:09 am
Why risk personal injury of that sort, when you could just ask me, and I could make you some improvised claymore and bouncing betty mines instead? :D
Those can't be directed. Also, home made boom sticks can be wired up with string. Or socks. Imagine those in weapon traps. Plus detonating explosives underground... Doesn't seem particularly fun to me.
Or rather, it does, which is why I don't want to be underground when someone drops the match :P
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 06:07:35 am
Post by: wierd on April 17, 2012, 06:17:06 am
Why risk personal injury of that sort, when you could just ask me, and I could make you some improvised claymore and bouncing betty mines instead? :D
Those can't be directed. Also, home made boom sticks can be wired up with string. Or socks. Imagine those in weapon traps. Plus detonating explosives underground... Doesn't seem particularly fun to me.
Or rather, it does, which is why I don't want to be underground when someone drops the match :P
Oh you silly man. A claymore mine is a *directional* cluster mine. (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/M18_Claymore_mine):D
A suitable simulant can be fabricated similarly to a shaped charge explosive housing, with a purposefully weakened side, and a honeycomb filled with small metal bb's. A combination of case hardened steel, a high quality zirconium-aluminum oxide ceramic plate, and a kinetic detonator filled with a high explosive, like nitroglycerine, and you have yourself a real treat for goblin christmas. :D
Don't waste your time with little boom sticks. Go for the real fireworks on guy fawkes day.
Bouncing betties are good for elves and irritating little kobolds. But trolls, forgotten beasts, and the goblin menace? Play with the bigboy toys.
Also, don't waste time with black powder boomsticks. Not enough energy in the detonation for real fun. Go for nitrocellulose. Very easy to make. Probably could be made from dead pigtail socks even. All you need is really good cellulose dryer lint and some nitric and sulfuric acids. Makes fine gun cotton. (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gun_cotton#section_1) it packs 6 times the punch of black powder.
(Much longer post concerning synthesis of primer caps, suggestions for base gunbarrel steel alloys, and the like redacted, pending consideration of google indexer, and that it was even more scary than above.)
Just pointing out that claymore mines are very much directional, and will very much turn several people into ground beef, very very quickly.
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 06:24:11 am
Plus, they all would make a loud boom, so that's a nice demoralizing measure.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 17, 2012, 06:26:24 am
Well, not as well as you apparently do ^_^
Still, it is disheartening when you say claymore (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scottish_broadsword#Scottish_broadsword) and they hear claymore (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M18_Claymore_mine).
I was going to slate the mine, but then I saw this:
Quote from: wiki
Claymore is command-detonated and directional, meaning it is fired by remote-control, shooting a pattern of metal balls into the kill zone like a shotgun.
Well, that is something.
Still, trap avoids. Or a Dwarf falling asleep on top of one. You could link the boom sticks to levers, to make sure it only triggers when you want it to, claymores, not so much :P
So judging from the last 30 pages, the fort'll be 30% explosives, 10% Dwarf, 10% cotton, 20% alcohol and the rest being made up of bay12 antics.
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 06:28:37 am
Post by: Gizogin on April 17, 2012, 06:34:11 am
Mm.... BOoze and explosives.... What could possibly go wrong?
I'll go with "nothing whatsoever."
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 17, 2012, 06:34:53 am
Post by: wierd on April 17, 2012, 06:44:26 am
Nitric acid requires a platinum mesh catylist, and anhydrous ammonia. Ammonia is initially heated in the presence of the platinum mesh catylist. Once the reaction kicks off, it is self sustaining and highly exothermic. The platinum is not consumed. Ideal platinum catylist contains traces of rhodium. The suffocating gasses produced are an exotic blend of nitrogen oxides and water vapor. The gas needs to be recirculated through the oxidation reaction on the catylist several times to ensure high levels of NO3 gas is produced. This gas is then bubbled under pressure through distilled water, with capture and recycling of undissolved gas. The result is red fuming nitric acid.
Chemistry is fun!
(Ninja 4x)
Squib wires and some cheap zinc/copper + saltwater batteries, and you got yourself a "big red button" you can pound on. :D
Post by: Oliolli on April 17, 2012, 07:52:21 am
Mm.... BOoze and explosives.... What could possibly go wrong?The entire fort would be blown up within days of wierd first making some sorts of explosives.
At least with wierd onboard we'd be quite safe from invaders. Anyone here know the basics on how an AK-47 works? I know that all in all it's a simple desing, I just don't know it in detail.
I also know (at the very basic level) how a bolt-action mechanism works. As long as we could make proper ammo (bullet, powder, casing and primer) we could start producing bolt-action rifles.
Post by: flieroflight on April 17, 2012, 11:00:29 am
because, after all, we do want to keep some alive, how else can we get new recruits for testing with
Post by: Crossroads Inc. on April 17, 2012, 12:17:12 pm
After almost a hundred pages I am curious, has anyone actually Ogranized something?
((looks around))
So much goofing off, boozing and being lazy
. I don't know weather to be disappointed, or proud you are keeping up Dwarfish culture
Post by: Talvieno on April 17, 2012, 12:24:18 pm
SO.....Click my sig.
After almost a hundred pages I am curious, has anyone actually Ogranized something?
((looks around))
So much goofing off, boozing and being lazy
. I don't know weather to be disappointed, or proud you are keeping up Dwarfish culture
Also - Oliolli, do you have time to continue? Or should I see if anyone else wants the save?
Post by: wierd on April 17, 2012, 01:20:49 pm
(For the record, I actually try hard NOT to reveal scary things like I've done in this thread. I would only bring stuff up as it was needed, listening to the rumors and scuttlebut going around the fortress. I prefer people to think of me as a friendly and harmless eccentric, and not an agent provocatur)
Just one thing though. Production of nitroglycerine is very dangerous, touchy work. It will need a safe, remote, "pyrochemical hazard lab" on the surface, very far away from the main fascility. In the liquid form it goes off by looking at it cross. I wouldn't want to be in the lab during sythesis. This means making some kind of automated timed mixing aparatus for it. Once it gets rolled up with sawdust or fullier's earth, it becomes reasonably safe to handle, and can be wrapped with paper to make dynamite. Liquid form? Dog farts; It explodes. It's about the only high explosive that could be made with crude equipment though. Don't get it on your skin either. Its absorbed topically, and radically lowers blood pressure. That's why they make heart pills with it.
For obvious reasons, I would want to avoid creation of large quantities. Don't get boomhappy.
If I have to spend inordinate amounts of time making boombooms because "explosions are awesome!" Things will get ugly, and I will get angry. You wouldn't like me when I get angry. :D
I actually prefer making soap and simple firecrackers over things that blow people up. Dangerous world war inducing tech only as a last resort.
Creation of cartridge primer caps requires making lead azide. This will likely be outside the scope of normal chemical synthesis, as all pathways to lead azide require sodium azide as a reactant, which can only be made by reacting sodium metal with anyhydrous amonia, and then some dangerous chemical magic.
Primer caps are a mix of crushed glass powder, and lead azide gently crimped up in a brass casing the size of a pencil eraser or smaller. Inside the casing there is a tiny steel "anvil" between the bottom of the casing and the explosive.
When the firing pin hits the primer, it compreses the crushed glass and lead azide. Lead azide is a contact explosive, and the sudden pressure wave detonates it. This detonation ignites the actual powder charge of the shell.
If I am forced to make lead azide, somebody else gets to make the primer caps. I refuse to lose fingers so somebody can have cartridged ammo.
Post by: Talvieno on April 17, 2012, 01:36:50 pm
I get the feeling that the local "actual" dwarves would be both fascinated and terrified by me...And we would prefer to think of you as Wierd, Deathlord Chemist.
(For the record, I actually try hard NOT to reveal scary things like I've done in this thread. I would only bring stuff up as it was needed, listening to the rumors and scuttlebut going around the fortress. I prefer people to think of me as a friendly and harmless eccentric, and not an agent provocatur)
In the liquid form it goes off by looking at it cross. I wouldn't want to be in the lab during sythesis. This means making some kind of automated timed mixing aparatus for it.A fifth of us are engineers/mechanics. Won't be an issue.
For obvious reasons, I would want to avoid creation of large quantities. Don't get boomhappy.Don't worry about this. We learn fast. And then we'd make our own. But the elves would never know our secrets... The dwarves might, I don't know... We might just want to keep it for ourselves.
If I have to spend inordinate amounts of time making boombooms because "explosions are awesome!" Things will get ugly, and I will get angry. You wouldn't like me when I get angry. :D
I actually prefer making soap and simple firecrackers over things that blow people up. Dangerous world war inducing tech only as a last resort.We're in the middle of nowhere in dwarfworld. There are dragons, titans, hydras and forgotten beasts, not to mention towering statues made of bronze that would throw you a quarter mile if given the chance. I'd say everything is last resort. Plus, dangerous world war inducing tech can be fun, provided you only use it on the right people (the ones who would kill you anyway).
Post by: Oliolli on April 17, 2012, 01:50:40 pm
As for the primers, you think they could be improvised?
...and in the end we have 88mm handguns, simply because we couldn't make small enough primers...
Static emplacements and primitive firearms until we can somehow automate the construction of the primers, so no-one has to lose their fingers. Or just make the dwarves assemble the primers and cartridges. They seem to know how to do anything.
Post by: KodKod on April 17, 2012, 01:59:48 pm
I will get around to playing it, I promise.
Your promises are no good here, Oliolli!
Post by: Oliolli on April 17, 2012, 02:28:17 pm
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 03:14:35 pm
...and in the end we have 88mm handguns, simply because we couldn't make small enough primers...
Nothing quite like having a literal handcannon is there?
Static emplacements and primitive firearms until we can somehow automate the construction of the primers, so no-one has to lose their fingers. Or just make the dwarves assemble the primers and cartridges. They seem to know how to do anything.
I second this. Firearms of any sort would give us a huge advantage.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 17, 2012, 03:19:55 pm
As for firearms, we may be best off just making korean rocket-propelled ballista arrows (that explode on contact) for a while. Or applying our brains to superior crossbow/ballista designs. The fewer things that can go horrily, horribly wrong, the better. We're not dorfs after all, so our lives actually matter.
Besides, we'd be praying that mineral scarcity isn't 2500 and we actually have a load of resources within 5 miles of our fortress. You can't rely on outside trade...
Post by: wierd on April 17, 2012, 03:31:18 pm
(Granted, the ...reputation... I would eventually get would require somebody else to file the request. The "what 're you gonna use et fore laddie?" Being answered honestly may result in trade sanctions.)
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 03:34:30 pm
Goblin 1: ALright boys! This is it! We'll crush this fortress onc-
-BANG-
-Random gobbo drops dead-
Goblin 2: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?
Forumer: Damn it, shot went too far to the right. I missed the leader.
Forumer 2: Did you hit one at least?
Forumer: Yes...
Forumer 2: Then this was a successful test. Also we may need to make some ear plugs before we make more of these.
Post by: KodKod on April 17, 2012, 03:44:17 pm
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 03:46:29 pm
F2: What now?
F1: We ran out of rockets. But the goblins seem rather intent on escaping now...
Post by: Eric Blank on April 17, 2012, 03:49:05 pm
Post by: Oliolli on April 17, 2012, 03:59:21 pm
The gobbos are fu*ked.
I also started thinking, regarding weapons of fear, incendiary weapons. Some burning mixture lobbed onto the enemy with a catapult or somesuch. Although something tells me wierd would refuse to produce large amounts of such stuff...
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 04:02:22 pm
So if we ended up in a dwarven fortress our first invention there would be a primitive MRLS?
The gobbos are fu*ked.
Quite fucked indeed. Cause we humies love our explodey stuff. Even moreso when we can shoot multiples at the things we don't like.
Post by: Talvieno on April 17, 2012, 04:13:04 pm
by the gods, it would be a crime to unleash us in dwarfworld.
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 04:17:49 pm
I propose we figure out a way to make sure our decendants try to build at least one working Vindicator Siege Tank.
Post by: KodKod on April 17, 2012, 04:18:03 pm
Dwarven Flamethrowers anyone?
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 04:19:53 pm
.... Doesn't Napalm do that?
Post by: Oliolli on April 17, 2012, 04:23:43 pm
YESSSSSS! incendiaries! And flammable liquids aren't actually that hard to produce, if you know where to look. I imagine forcing goblins to run through a "murky pool" filled with a foul-smelling liquid would be rather easy to do, and then if that foul-smelling liquid could catch fire easily... And perhaps if that same foul-smelling liquid could be placed in a thin wooden box (with a burning fuse) and hurled at enemies...
by the gods, it would be a crime to unleash us in dwarfworld.
Isn't ethanol flammable?
The only limit is what we can get done in our short lives and how long we take making the tools to make the nastier weapons.
Spoiler: I suppose we'll never have time to build these... (click to show/hide)
What if, through concentrated effort and experimentation, we managed to reinvent Greek Fire?
Dwarven Flamethrowers anyone?
Whoever it was that sung "I don't want to set the world on fire..." was not a Bay12er.
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 04:25:58 pm
Would probably be a bitch to ride in... But pretty bitchin' too.
Post by: KodKod on April 17, 2012, 04:28:24 pm
Whoever it was that sung "I don't want to set the world on fire..." was not a Bay12er.
The Ink Spots.
Goddamnit Oliolli, that was the song that I was going to have for my first dance at my wedding before I got my heart broke and you just reminded me of it.
I'm totally going to murderise you.
The trick is just making the fire spread instead of going out when having water dumped on it. That was a trait right?
.... Doesn't Napalm do that?
Sure it does, but Greek Fire would be approximately 75% more super-fantastic.
Post by: Naryar on April 17, 2012, 04:41:58 pm
That said, I am all for burning goblins, so let's do this !
Post by: Reudh on April 17, 2012, 04:47:44 pm
Kodkod's avatar is Misery. Fitting, for the kobolds at least. :P
And a fair few of us are chemists, so we could make ethanol out of booze as you said.
Post by: Naryar on April 17, 2012, 04:49:03 pm
And a few metal tubes and pots, and a heat source.
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 04:50:38 pm
I fully suppor those who alos support incineration of invaders - up close and personal. PTSD for all!
Post by: KodKod on April 17, 2012, 04:53:55 pm
Oh my gawd I can't believe it's taken me this long.
Kodkod's avatar is Misery. Fitting, for the kobolds at least. :P
It wasn't instantly recognisable to someone who has played the game, what? :o
Post by: Reudh on April 17, 2012, 04:57:16 pm
It seems Cave Story is quite popular on these forums... I believe New Guy used to have an avatar of Curly Brace.
(Given that quote's name is Quote, perhaps Curly Brace is a corruption of Curly Bracket?)
Post by: KodKod on April 17, 2012, 05:02:58 pm
(Given that quote's name is Quote, perhaps Curly Brace is a corruption of Curly Bracket?)
It's not even a corruption; they are often referred to as curly braces.
EDIT: 100 pages now, eh? How long can the madness continue?
Post by: Eric Blank on April 17, 2012, 05:10:17 pm
Post by: wierd on April 17, 2012, 05:11:56 pm
What is that in non-science geek?
Refined petrolium spirit + soap.
A suitable semi-petrolium spirit can be created by making biodiesel. For that, you need perfectly dry alchol (must be chemically dried), sodium hydroxide lye, and vegetable oil. Presense of water creates soap. Pure alcohol will react with the lye and chemically change. When mixed with the oil and swished around, trans-esterification occurs where a hydroxyl group exchanges with glycerol on the fatty acid chain. This results in a nasty brown liquid, and biodiesel.
Taking the biodiesel and kiln dried soap shavings and whipping them together will result in a gooey flammable gel. Tada! Homebrew napalm knockoff!
A natural gas ignition torch, and a compressed air pressure tank filled with gooey doom, with a high pressure nozzle and you got yourself a flame thrower.
I can make napalm all day long. Its safe to make. Nitro? Not so much.... slow titration with a buret and a freezing saltwater ice bath to prevent spontaneous dedtonation during nitration..... very careful whicking into inert sponge prior to handling..... toxic if skin contact occurs.... touchy, touchy, touchy.
Napalm? Anybody can do it.
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 05:18:32 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on April 17, 2012, 05:36:30 pm
I really wish we could have actual flamers now.....
You can use an interaction linked to an edible item that gives a dorf a temporary ability to shoot jets of flame!
Even then, you could use an extremely hot liquid material and shoot liquid globs of it, which cause targets to burst into flames!
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 05:38:12 pm
Post by: Gizogin on April 17, 2012, 05:39:59 pm
If enough of us know how to put an engine together and can make the tools to do it (somewhat) quickly, we'd just need fuel. Stone would have to do for wheels though since I doubt any of us work in natural rubber manufacturies.
Would probably be a bitch to ride in... But pretty bitchin' too.
Get me a compass, a set square, and a ruler, and I could draw up some blueprints. I know enough about steam and internal combustion engines to at least have a starting point, and could quickly come up with a passable recreation of early locomotives. Mount some weapons on there, give it some light armor, and you end up with a rudimentary tank. Steam power is not ideal, but would serve until I or someone else got an internal combustion engine made. Alternatively, we could bypass all that and just throw a water reactor or three on instead.
I also know a fair bit about the mechanics of guns, so if someone (wierd) did come up with gunpowder, I could design us some firearms.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 17, 2012, 05:54:22 pm
If enough of us know how to put an engine together and can make the tools to do it (somewhat) quickly, we'd just need fuel. Stone would have to do for wheels though since I doubt any of us work in natural rubber manufacturies.
Would probably be a bitch to ride in... But pretty bitchin' too.
Get me a compass, a set square, and a ruler, and I could draw up some blueprints. I know enough about steam and internal combustion engines to at least have a starting point, and could quickly come up with a passable recreation of early locomotives. Mount some weapons on there, give it some light armor, and you end up with a rudimentary tank. Steam power is not ideal, but would serve until I or someone else got an internal combustion engine made. Alternatively, we could bypass all that and just throw a water reactor or three on instead.
I also know a fair bit about the mechanics of guns, so if someone (wierd) did come up with gunpowder, I could design us some firearms.
Water reactors all the way. Everywhere. No excuse not to use tiny ones for every mechanical device.
Post by: wierd on April 17, 2012, 06:00:44 pm
Ever taken apart a dremel tool to replace the contactors? (They are a user servicable part)
No permanent magnets inside a dremel. Just counter opposed mag coils.
Just make some delightful primary alkaline batteries, a steel armature, and some lacquered copper wire, with a little TLC, and you got yourself a fast reacting electric drive motor. Whee!
Electric dunebuggy with dome mounted napalm turret, and we got ourselves something straight out of mad max! *squee*
Granted, it would be direct drive without a real transmission, which could be problematical... not made for long distance travel anyway. Meant to be fast and manouverable instead.
If the fire isn't fun enough though, we could mount some rotating serrated steel discs on a big, slow and heavy assault vehicle and go goblin grinding instead. 8 ply glass should stop most crossbow and arrow bolts. You only need a small window to drive with.
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 06:48:58 pm
A mechanic with barely any archer or crossbow skill missed his intended target (a mounted white tigerman) and lopped off the leg of the axetiger a few squares away. Perhaps a rack fed version of that would suffice on that buggy thing? They may be slow to fire, but everything from goblins down can be bisected horizontally with them.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 17, 2012, 06:53:25 pm
Post by: Meta The Golem on April 17, 2012, 06:59:10 pm
Post by: WaffleEggnog on April 17, 2012, 07:03:37 pm
Well, Talvieno and I concocted a working handheld serrated disc launcher. Take your good ol' trap part, downsize it, and you basically have a oneshot version of it a dwarf can carry.
A mechanic with barely any archer or crossbow skill missed his intended target (a mounted white tigerman) and lopped off the leg of the axetiger a few squares away. Perhaps a rack fed version of that would suffice on that buggy thing? They may be slow to fire, but everything from goblins down can be bisected horizontally with them.
And so it begins......
(http://i.imgur.com/Hahje.png) (http://imgur.com/Hahje)
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 07:08:36 pm
Disc Launchers ftw!
Post by: Talvieno on April 17, 2012, 07:09:13 pm
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 07:11:17 pm
Railguns will
1. Miss entirely, but if they don't they will either:
2. Shatter bones 100 % of the time, or
3. Propel the hit target so hrd they will explode into gristle and bits no matter how short the distance.
The main downside is dwarven railguns take a rediculous amount of micromanaging to get produced.
Post by: Talvieno on April 17, 2012, 07:15:23 pm
Post by: wierd on April 17, 2012, 07:21:14 pm
Given the extremely broken "deadly dust" attack mechanic, a weaponized Air Vortex Cannon (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Air_vortex_cannon) with an explosive induced percussion source to generate the vortex event should be obscenely devistating.
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 07:30:01 pm
Post by: Gizogin on April 17, 2012, 07:44:22 pm
Steam cars? How... 19th century.
Ever taken apart a dremel tool to replace the contactors? (They are a user servicable part)
No permanent magnets inside a dremel. Just counter opposed mag coils.
Just make some delightful primary alkaline batteries, a steel armature, and some lacquered copper wire, with a little TLC, and you got yourself a fast reacting electric drive motor. Whee!
Electric dunebuggy with dome mounted napalm turret, and we got ourselves something straight out of mad max! *squee*
Granted, it would be direct drive without a real transmission, which could be problematical... not made for long distance travel anyway. Meant to be fast and manouverable instead.
If the fire isn't fun enough though, we could mount some rotating serrated steel discs on a big, slow and heavy assault vehicle and go goblin grinding instead. 8 ply glass should stop most crossbow and arrow bolts. You only need a small window to drive with.
I hadn't even considered electricity, but it's certainly a viable option. Again, though, water reactors render pretty much any alternative power source obsolete.
I could probably make a transmission, if it came to that. I'd actually prefer not to have to use one, though; I'm thinking independently powered wheels (I have a zero-turn lawnmower, and it's awesome). The only thing that bothers me is how one would vary (and reverse) the power output, since water reactors always produce the same amount. I'm thinking right now of using a sort of power siphoning/redirecting system, which would basically consist of a bunch of gear assemblies that can be engaged or disengaged to vary the amount of power available to the wheels. It could work, especially since gear assemblies instantly react to switches, though the controls might be a bit confusing. You could even put emergency override controls for each vehicle somewhere in the fortress, since they don't have to be physically connected to the assemblies.
They were designed with DF as a game in mind, requiring small mechanisms MAGNETITE rails (no other metal will do.) A steel or adamantine housing for the mechanisms and whatever the appearent powersource might actually be, a shaped wooden stock with a leather pad. Overall it would end up involving mechanics, weaponssmiths, furnace operators, capenters, and leatherworkers to produce a single gun.
I think you'd run into that problem regardless of the type of gun. An ordinary, bolt-action rifle would require woodworkers, metalsmiths, furnace operators, mechanics, and (al)chemists.
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 07:46:27 pm
Post by: wierd on April 17, 2012, 07:59:46 pm
(Needs to have reservoirs, water wheels, screw pumps, etc.)
The electric fast attack buggy would be small and fast. The heavy assault vehicle would have enough power to drive rotating steel discs, and all kinds of things, like rotating whipping chains.
One would be an ambush buster. The other would be a siege crusher.
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 08:02:42 pm
Post by: Corai on April 17, 2012, 08:08:09 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on April 17, 2012, 08:08:22 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on April 17, 2012, 08:37:58 pm
The hydro powered assault vehicle would be huge. Basically a moving fortress.
(Needs to have reservoirs, water wheels, screw pumps, etc.)
Given current knowledge of DF physics, we could use a heavily scaled-down water reactor system that can fit virtually anywhere. Each wheel could have it's own 3x3x2 waterwheel/gearbox powering it, with the axle connected directly to the waterwheels, on a rotating joint that allows us to rotate the wheel on the z-axis for steering. Or you could just use tank-steering and change the speed the wheels are rotating at to affect the velocity of the vehicle. I personally think that if perpetual motion machines were possible, we could do anything. And DF provides the perpetual motion generators.
Post by: Corai on April 17, 2012, 08:43:45 pm
The hydro powered assault vehicle would be huge. Basically a moving fortress.
(Needs to have reservoirs, water wheels, screw pumps, etc.)
Given current knowledge of DF physics, we could use a heavily scaled-down water reactor system that can fit virtually anywhere. Each wheel could have it's own 3x3x2 waterwheel/gearbox powering it, with the axle connected directly to the waterwheels, on a rotating joint that allows us to rotate the wheel on the z-axis for steering. Or you could just use tank-steering and change the speed the wheels are rotating at to affect the velocity of the vehicle. I personally think that if perpetual motion machines were possible, we could do anything. And DF provides the perpetual motion generators.
Or.....
Kobolds are pulling a tank
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 08:46:52 pm
The kobolds are running in a giant wheel. The machine is moving forward. The humans are firing serrated discs into trolls. The humans are laughing.
There, everyone's survivablity is increased.
Post by: Corai on April 17, 2012, 08:48:18 pm
Our powerplant needs to be where invaders can't make it dead.
The kobolds are running in a giant wheel. The machine is moving forward. The humans are firing serrated discs into trolls. The humans are laughing.
There, everyone's survivablity is increased.
A WHEEL, A WHEEL? WE WILL NOT RUN IN A WHEEL!
A hamster wheel however.......
Post by: wierd on April 17, 2012, 08:50:26 pm
I mean, what "normal" person would read this thread and NOT think we all need mental help and counselling? LOL!
Having let my knowledge of horrble deadly poisons out, how many of you would eat cookies if I made them? Etc.......
We would turn dwarf world on its head, paddle its ass, and make it our bitch in just a few years. I can't help but wonder if all the other civs, so horribly outmatched, wouldn't drop their differences just long enough to try to halt the advance of our clearly overwhelming power. Undead? No problem... we just suck them in the front of the mobile assault fortress, and essentially chippershred them, then blast them out of air blowers as tiny animated skin and bone fragments. What we don't need gets the magma treatment! (Just imagine! A deadly spray of zombie oystershell shards clawing and tearing at the flesh of the living!)
Elves? Their forest retreats would BURN for miles around under the unrelenting assault of our napalm flame cannons!
Goblins? I wonder what a wrecking ball will do to their obsidian spire!
Humans!? Like their little wooden villages would stand up long!
Dwarves? Aggressive pumping of deadly phosgene down the front door after we smash it in (see wrecking ball above), and its all over!
If we tipped our hand too aggressively, those other civs would quite nervous indeed. I propose the following diplotmatic approach:
Elves:
Tell them that within our boarders, we will slaughter all the trees we want, and they can just suck it. Tell us our business, and we will will tell you yours. Rest assured, you would not survive. If you want to send a trade caravan, no singing, and no garbage cloth. Only giant animals. Violators will be incinerated. In exchange, we will sell you ropereed paper, quality inks and dyes, milled soap to wash off that nacky hippy smell, and delicious baked goods.
Humans:
You guys aren't that bad. Just don't get too ambitious and try to copy our stuff. We don't play that game, and don't export knowledge. If you try, you will die. Otherwise, feel free to send merchants. We'll offer fine glassware, metal cutlery, quality ceramics and chinaware, and all the same stuff we offer elves. Those hippies suck and won't buy our fabulous home furnishings, but humans know how to enjoy the finer things in life. Just bring us cut gems, metal bars, milk, cheese fish and meat products. We'll do the rest.
Dwarves:
Hey homies! Sorry, not interested in dwarf barons or exporting tech to the mountain home. Btw, if we say we are full, please don't send more migrants. With the exception of technical specifications, our full stock is available for trade. We like metal. Lots and lots of metal. You guys make delightful serrated discs and the like too. Many hands make light work, and our death machines are the absolute best. Bring us parts and raw materials, visit, and have a good time, we'll do the rest.
Goblins:
If you guys don't stop with killing the grass with your rotting corpses, we'll smash in your tower. Seriously. We'll capture your "master", put her ugly elephantine ass in a centrifuge, and use her to mass produce beautiful silk stockings and thermal jumpsuits. When were done, we will put a happy kitten petting zoo where your dark fortress used to be for the delight of sickeningly cute children, and import fairies and butterflies to complete the effect. Seriously. Quit sending mindless goons.
Kobolds:
FHhdfijelt! ( crudely drawn image of kobolds being mechanically skinned alive, taxidermed, and made into adorable stuffed animals after attempting invasion.)
Post by: Gizogin on April 17, 2012, 08:53:10 pm
I personally think that if perpetual motion machines were possible, we could do anything. And DF provides the perpetual motion generators.
Oh, definitely. DF water reactors would, among other things, allow us to create energy from nothing and reduce entropy. No longer beholden to the laws of thermodynamics, any sense of realism gets thrown out the window. Such things as FTL travel become possible. Space travel and indefinite life-support systems become trivial, as the waste products your body produces via respiration and digestion can be endlessly reconstituted into the very same air and food they used to be. Heck, given proper utilization of the energy, we could stave off the heat death of the universe indefinitely.
Post by: Corai on April 17, 2012, 08:54:00 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Not cool bro, not cool. Aside from the stuffed animals I dont like.
.....Do that to the elves. I want a elf-leather kitten.
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 08:55:38 pm
Post by: Corai on April 17, 2012, 08:57:08 pm
I bet more then half of you. I certainly are insane enough to do that in real life.
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 08:58:26 pm
Post by: Corai on April 17, 2012, 08:59:25 pm
Atleast thats what everyone I come in contact with saids.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 17, 2012, 09:05:20 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 17, 2012, 09:07:09 pm
I wonder how many people here think I am so unstable I think im a real kobold.
*Raises hand*
Post by: Gizogin on April 17, 2012, 09:07:15 pm
Medications. I have ADHD (Inattentive), and it's relatively severe. I won't go into the details, as it's a fairly common condition. Anyway, I basically require medication in order to function as a productive member of society. This presents a problem, as I doubt things like Concerta or Focalin are commonplace in DF. While I suppose alternatives are available, I don't know enough about chemistry/biology/pharmacology to know what they would be. Can anyone suggest a way that I might be able to operate at normal levels, using what's available in DF?
Post by: KodKod on April 17, 2012, 09:09:47 pm
Can anyone suggest a way that I might be able to operate at normal levels, using what's available in DF?
Inordinate quantities of alcohol ought to solve any problem.
Post by: Talvieno on April 17, 2012, 09:14:17 pm
Having let my knowledge of horrble deadly poisons out, how many of you would eat cookies if I made them? Etc.......I'd eat them. After all, just because you work out how to build an atom bomb doesn't mean you're evil. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26YLehuMydo&feature=related) And frankly, you don't seem the type of person to poison cookies to laugh at the people who eat them and die... Talking about killing is one thing. Actually doing it is another.
Speaking of mental health, I have a relatively minor concern that occurred to me recently:I have no idea... I hadn't even thought about that... I've got the same problem. lol ADHD. It isn't that bad, though, although it used to be severe. I just learned to control it over time (for the most part).
Medications. I have ADHD (Inattentive), and it's relatively severe. I won't go into the details, as it's a fairly common condition. Anyway, I basically require medication in order to function as a productive member of society. This presents a problem, as I doubt things like Concerta or Focalin are commonplace in DF. While I suppose alternatives are available, I don't know enough about chemistry/biology/pharmacology to know what they would be. Can anyone suggest a way that I might be able to operate at normal levels, using what's available in DF?
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 09:16:08 pm
Your all insane online, Im insane in real life.
I'm sure many opf us are in reality of quite questionable mental stability. I for one hear voices that come from nowhere, and I at best have a very fragile hold of my urge to kill people who annoy me sufficently. I don't mean the metaphorically. I have had to fight an urge to kill on a few occasions. A particularly angry voice, kept trying to make me do it when i worked at a thrift store. The person had ruined or taken credit fro work I had done on multiple occasions. And I could have killed them. Just would have had to keep swinging the tire iron we kept behind the counter until the bitch stopped moving. It was a kind of hate the likes of which I never enjoy. it's a kind of hate I could have very well acted on and indeed I did loose track of a few minutes in this incident. But no-one was thankfully killed then.
There was one instance where a a fence was all the kept me from killing someone after they threw a rock at me. (I had to get stiches just above my tmple and my glasses were broken. Had the fence not been there, I would have murdered him, and been forever fucked up even worse for it.)
So a little insantiy is not new here.
Post by: Corai on April 17, 2012, 09:33:13 pm
Post by: Cellmonk on April 17, 2012, 09:34:06 pm
Yeah, I'm completely normal.
Post by: Corai on April 17, 2012, 09:36:55 pm
I wonder how many people here think I am so unstable I think im a real kobold.
*Raises hand*
I thought you were sane enough to notice in-charecter.
Your so insane your sane.
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 09:43:51 pm
SO! Who wants a railgun! I can probably coax someone into manufacturing them!
Post by: Corai on April 17, 2012, 09:47:22 pm
Nah. One calls itself Gail though. Kind of an asshole. And I think it identifies itself as a she. And I quite frankly don't wanna find out if that is indeed the case.
SO! Who wants a railgun! I can probably coax someone into manufacturing them!
The kobold fires it's railgun wildly, striking down
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. I WANT ONE.
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 09:50:26 pm
Post by: Corai on April 17, 2012, 09:52:31 pm
Sorry, they don't come in kobold size.
I can just get twelve other kobolds to help.
.....I can may in mugs. They arent stolen, I swear!
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 09:54:27 pm
Mugs.... Don't even get me started on mugs.
Post by: wierd on April 17, 2012, 09:55:23 pm
Code: [Select]
Having let my knowledge of horrble deadly poisons out, how many of you would eat cookies if I made them? Etc.......I'd eat them. After all, just because you work out how to build an atom bomb doesn't mean you're evil. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26YLehuMydo&feature=related) And frankly, you don't seem the type of person to poison cookies to laugh at the people who eat them and die... Talking about killing is one thing. Actually doing it is another.Speaking of mental health, I have a relatively minor concern that occurred to me recently:I have no idea... I hadn't even thought about that... I've got the same problem. lol ADHD. It isn't that bad, though, although it used to be severe. I just learned to control it over time (for the most part).
Medications. I have ADHD (Inattentive), and it's relatively severe. I won't go into the details, as it's a fairly common condition. Anyway, I basically require medication in order to function as a productive member of society. This presents a problem, as I doubt things like Concerta or Focalin are commonplace in DF. While I suppose alternatives are available, I don't know enough about chemistry/biology/pharmacology to know what they would be. Can anyone suggest a way that I might be able to operate at normal levels, using what's available in DF?
I exhibit many of the sympthoms of asperger syndrome, but am not diagnosed. I have never been a normal child, and my older sister said I used to sit in corners and talk to myself as a toddler. She literally beat me into being social. Older sisters are awesome. :)
As for ADHD medications, most are norepinepherine analogs, agonists, or reuptake inhibitors. Most also effect dopamine levels, and are based on amphetamine structure compounds.
You might experience some benefit from certain addictive drugs, but the dangers of addiction and withdrawl are high.
I am cheating by using google, but it looks like cocaine might be effective, being a triple uptake inhibitor. (Seretonin, dopamine, norepinepherine) refined cocaine would be stupid, but orally chewed coca leaf might be an effective, if highly addictive solution to your problem.
Most of the psychoactives I know of are acetylcholine agonists/inhibitors, not norepinepherine.
Post by: Corai on April 17, 2012, 09:58:42 pm
1500 gold coins of masterful quality.
Mugs.... Don't even get me started on mugs.
OKay, to steal list....
1.Freeble's hat
2.Silver right boot
3.A elves heart, literally, cut it out.
4.Five gold bars and a Metalworker's forge to make counter-fit gold coins.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 17, 2012, 09:59:34 pm
Sorry, they don't come in kobold size.
I can just get twelve other kobolds to help.
.....I can may in mugs. They arent stolen, I swear!
You can't trade us mugs. You live in our fortress, stockpiling our possessions in your really awesome living space, the contents of which belong to us. When you successfully steal something from somebody else and bring it back, then we'll talk about giving you something more than a minor extension to your palace and extra food and drink access in return.
That being said, letting the kobolds operate some of the siege defense weaponry seems perfectly reasonable whilst we're under attack and undermanned, as long as we keep things simple enough they don't manage to hurt themselves.
Post by: Corai on April 17, 2012, 10:03:01 pm
Sorry, they don't come in kobold size.
I can just get twelve other kobolds to help.
.....I can may in mugs. They arent stolen, I swear!
You can't trade us mugs. You live in our fortress, stockpiling our possessions in your really awesome living space, the contents of which belong to us. When you successfully steal something from somebody else and bring it back, then we'll talk about giving you something more than a minor extension to your palace and extra food and drink access in return.
That being said, letting the kobolds operate some of the siege defense weaponry seems perfectly reasonable whilst we're under attack and undermanned, as long as we keep things simple enough they don't manage to hurt themselves.
52 kobolds all at once grabbing Misc Weapons and charging the exit, I think we could escape with some form of wealth.
But yeah, that would still kill........23 of us? Not worth it.
But dont make it simple, If im alive I can keep them from killing themselves. THATS A HAMMER, NOT A SANDWICH!
Maybe I cant.....
Post by: wierd on April 17, 2012, 10:03:52 pm
As for Splint: your sympthoms are consistent with mild to moderate schizophrenia. You might benefit from oral lithium pills, which have been shown to be effective at controlling aural hallucenations and emotional disturbances associated with the disorder.
Consult a neurologist for a definitive diagnosis. Schizophrenia causes/is cause by (doctors don't know for sure) structural abnormalities in the brain that show up immediately under fMRI.
If you really are experiencing aural hallucenations and intense impulses, consider making an appointment through your family doctor. He can direct you to a suitable specialist.
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 10:07:48 pm
Anyway, I would imagine 4 kobolds to load, two to fire a ballista. Simple enough, and barring accidents with the strings, they'd probably make fine siege operators, since they seem to lack a self preservation instinct based on thier tenacity.
Post by: Gizogin on April 17, 2012, 10:10:08 pm
Lovely. There are times I just atribbute them to all the hits to the head I've taken. Quite few now that I think of it. that rock, friends smashing me into dirt playing football, falling over a railing when I was little... Bounced off a metal planter, a radiator, and a hardwood floor on that one... And yet I only got minor bruises from that. Tiny rock? FUCK YOU! STICHES!
Anyway, I would imagine 4 kobolds to load, two to fire a ballista. Simple enough, and barring accidents with the strings, they'd probably make fine siege operators, since they seem to lack a self preservation instinct based on thier tenacity.
Unfortunately, kobolds are generally untrustworthy cowards.
Splint: If it's a choice between cocaine and ADHD, I'd stick with the ADHD. Addiction is something I want to avoid.
Post by: Corai on April 17, 2012, 10:10:34 pm
Lovely. There are times I just atribbute them to all the hits to the head I've taken. Quite few now that I think of it. that rock, friends smashing me into dirt playing football, falling over a railing when I was little... Bounced off a metal planter, a radiator, and a hardwood floor on that one... And yet I only got minor bruises from that. Tiny rock? FUCK YOU! STICHES!
Anyway, I would imagine 4 kobolds to load, two to fire a ballista. Simple enough, and barring accidents with the strings, they'd probably make fine siege operators, since they seem to lack a self preservation instinct based on thier tenacity.
Actually, we can lift anything as well as you single-handily, just get alot slower.
Who likes my new sig? Its directed at you Wierd.
@Giz
WERE LIKE THAT CAUSE YOU KILL US!
Post by: Splint on April 17, 2012, 10:11:43 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 17, 2012, 10:13:09 pm
Supervillains like Snowflame.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
His superpower is cocaine.
Post by: wierd on April 17, 2012, 10:17:10 pm
Gizogen just pointed to the wrong psychopath, that's all.
Corai:
If the kobolds don't want to be adorably stuffed with pretty glass eyes, and dressed in silly costumes, they can stay in their little kobold cave, and not try sneaking in the back door. It's really that simple.
Post by: Corai on April 17, 2012, 10:18:46 pm
That was me. It was the only natural norepinepherine uptake inhibitor I could find.
Gizogen just pointed to the wrong psychopath, that's all.
Corai:
If the kobolds don't want to be adorably stuffed with pretty glass eyes, and dressed in silly costumes, they can stay in their little kobold cave, and not try sneaking in the back door. It's really that simple.
........How are we suppose to eat after being pushed in these caves by you and those vile elves?
Post by: Eric Blank on April 17, 2012, 10:22:27 pm
What the hell does cocaine have to do with anything?
A suggestion to control ADHD in the event that we lack normal ADHD medication. Coca leaves. Steal them from the elves, I guess.
I suggest experimenting with forgotten beast/titan syndromes, much like modern biologists. Except we test it on animals first, and wait 3-5 years for all symptoms to appear. If we find one that induces drowsiness through the same inhibitions as ADHD medication, and doesn't cause any tissue it contacts to rot off, then we've got a winner.
........How are we suppose to eat after being pushed in these caves by you and those vile elves?
You're not. Until dinner time, at least.
Post by: Corai on April 17, 2012, 10:23:22 pm
You win Weird, >.>
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 17, 2012, 10:26:44 pm
Don't get boomhappy.
The mayor has decreed from today until the end of time, that every day be marked with explosions to celebrate not being dead!
Post by: wierd on April 17, 2012, 10:27:36 pm
I can only conclude that they LIKE it in there.
I am sure a talkative little urchin like yourself could introduce them to fire, agriculture, ....culture....
Perhaps teach them to speak instead of gibber......
And then they could make their caves as awesome and warm as any dwarf fortress, just midget size!
But sneaking in the back door, leaving the back door unlocked, and stealing everyone's left sock in the night will result in plushification. No exceptions.
Post by: Corai on April 17, 2012, 10:28:35 pm
Don't get boomhappy.
The mayor has decreed from today until the end of time, that every day be marked with explosions to celebrate not being dead!
I MAY BE A KOBOLD, BUT EVEN I KNOW THATS A HORRIBLE IDEA!
Use magma-mines instead.
Pushed!? The little munchkins worldgen there!
I can only conclude that they LIKE it in there.
I am sure a talkative little urchin like yourself could introduce them to fire, agriculture, ....culture....
Perhaps teach them to speak instead of gibber......
And then they could make their caves as awesome and warm as any dwarf fortress, just midget size!
But sneaking in the back door, leaving the back door unlocked, and stealing everyone's left sock in the night will result in plushification. No exceptions.
We all know we world-gen there cause the mountains are already taken and the forests are taken too.
Thats why I mod my kobolds to have both.
Post by: Callista on April 17, 2012, 10:28:58 pm
In DF, I'd be one of those bookkeepers who just kind of stays at the desk all the time until they start flashing blue arrows, and random dwarves keep complaining that they can't bring them water because there aren't any buckets, and keep updating stockpile records even when you got to Highest Precision fifteen years ago.
Yeah, boring, to anybody but a statistics geek. But it's my kind of life. Not that I wouldn't be willing to bite the fingers off invaders if they disturbed me at my work. Do not dare touch my circles! And I won't be near as passive about it as a certain ancient mathematician. You stop me from counting on my fingers, and I will bite off your fingers, one-by one, very precisely. And then I will go back to counting blocks of microcline.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 17, 2012, 10:31:31 pm
I'm afraid I would be quite a boring inhabitant. I'd probably be a wonderful bookkeeper... which is about the most boring job in the world except to people like me who love keeping lists, arranging data, and generally being picky about patterns and precision.
watchu talkin about legendary bookkeeper - one of the best jobs ever
Post by: wierd on April 17, 2012, 10:39:35 pm
But if you try to inventory the reagent cabinet of the pyrochemistry building, I won't be held responsible for accidents.
Post by: Callista on April 17, 2012, 10:47:24 pm
*is drawn in like moth to flame*
Post by: wierd on April 17, 2012, 10:52:22 pm
If you don't mind, I will go hide in the bomb shelter on the other side of the fortress. Come get me when you are done. :)
Post by: Cellmonk on April 17, 2012, 10:57:38 pm
I'm afraid I would be quite a boring inhabitant. I'd probably be a wonderful bookkeeper... which is about the most boring job in the world except to people like me who love keeping lists, arranging data, and generally being picky about patterns and precision. In real life, I'm a psychology/engineering student with an aim to go to graduate school and design assistive technology, with a focus on research. Some of the best times of my life have been spent making Excel and various specialized statistics programs turn thousands of numbers into graphs and p-values. Sometimes I even do it for school or work. 8)
In DF, I'd be one of those bookkeepers who just kind of stays at the desk all the time until they start flashing blue arrows, and random dwarves keep complaining that they can't bring them water because there aren't any buckets, and keep updating stockpile records even when you got to Highest Precision fifteen years ago.
Yeah, boring, to anybody but a statistics geek. But it's my kind of life. Not that I wouldn't be willing to bite the fingers off invaders if they disturbed me at my work. Do not dare touch my circles! And I won't be near as passive about it as a certain ancient mathematician. You stop me from counting on my fingers, and I will bite off your fingers, one-by one, very precisely. And then I will go back to counting blocks of microcline.
I think we're a dwarf in the same spirit. except I wouldn't get anything done due to procrastination.
Post by: Corai on April 17, 2012, 11:03:28 pm
Handling dangerous and possibly highly toxic substances is done at your own risk.
If you don't mind, I will go hide in the bomb shelter on the other side of the fortress. Come get me when you are done. :)
Please let me in, I break easier then you. I will may you with a mug made of solid......................
*Paints the mug aqua*
MADE OF SOLID ADAMANITE!
Post by: Talvieno on April 17, 2012, 11:08:12 pm
I think I'd prefer to avoid addiction as well... lol Anyway, with enough willpower it's easy to overcome. Not so with chemical addictions.Lovely. There are times I just atribbute them to all the hits to the head I've taken. Quite few now that I think of it. that rock, friends smashing me into dirt playing football, falling over a railing when I was little... Bounced off a metal planter, a radiator, and a hardwood floor on that one... And yet I only got minor bruises from that. Tiny rock? FUCK YOU! STICHES!
Anyway, I would imagine 4 kobolds to load, two to fire a ballista. Simple enough, and barring accidents with the strings, they'd probably make fine siege operators, since they seem to lack a self preservation instinct based on thier tenacity.
Unfortunately, kobolds are generally untrustworthy cowards.
Splint: If it's a choice between cocaine and ADHD, I'd stick with the ADHD. Addiction is something I want to avoid.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 17, 2012, 11:15:59 pm
Also, what is a dwarf fortress if not a giant bomb shelter? In the event of a cosmic ray burst, dwarves would be the only living creatures (and us too I guess) aside from marine volcanic vent colonies. Oh yeah, and the caverns.
Post by: Corai on April 17, 2012, 11:18:29 pm
I can stave off the effects of ADHD without my medication if motivated. Survival is a strong motivation.
Also, what is a dwarf fortress if not a giant bomb shelter? In the event of a cosmic ray burst, dwarves would be the only living creatures (and us too I guess) aside from marine volcanic vent colonies. Oh yeah, and the caverns.
And kobolds, we would form great and unique cultures in our caves, and as we grow, we eventually learn how to dig, smelt, and we evolve to learn how to fight, we wall ourselves in, learn, and eventually get into the caverns, and begin to form a language, and with the dwarves we will defeat HFS and we all live happily ever after.
Or the dwarves will make us go boom.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 17, 2012, 11:22:40 pm
we wall ourselves in
And starve.
WOO!!!
Still, the prospect of caverns really would be interesting.
Blow it all up.
Post by: Corai on April 17, 2012, 11:25:29 pm
we wall ourselves in
And starve.
WOO!!!
Still, the prospect of caverns really would be interesting.
Blow it all up.
We kobolds can just eat our dead's bones. MWAHAHAHAHHA.
Besides, we would had died from starving with the surface going down. But cause we live in caves, we can just eat vermin while we train. Then we just kill tiny animals, then medium, then we start trading with dwarves.
KOBOLD-BONE SPEARS HERE, GET YOUR SPEARS! .99 PER SPEAR! .99!
Post by: Corai on April 17, 2012, 11:38:34 pm
I hope you enjoy this as I develop it for everyone.
Post by: Oliolli on April 17, 2012, 11:58:18 pm
Whoever it was that sung "I don't want to set the world on fire..." was not a Bay12er.
The Ink Spots.
Goddamnit Oliolli, that was the song that I was going to have for my first dance at my wedding before I got my heart broke and you just reminded me of it.
I'm totally going to murderise you.
Just a regular wednesday, then.
Does your avatar being changed to a more confused-looking thing have anything to do with that?
We would turn dwarf world on its head, paddle its ass, and make it our bitch in just a few years. I can't help but wonder if all the other civs, so horribly outmatched, wouldn't drop their differences just long enough to try to halt the advance of our clearly overwhelming power. Undead? No problem... we just suck them in the front of the mobile assault fortress, and essentially chippershred them, then blast them out of air blowers as tiny animated skin and bone fragments. What we don't need gets the magma treatment! (Just imagine! A deadly spray of zombie oystershell shards clawing and tearing at the flesh of the living!)
So in the end we'd have the entire world against us? Completely surrounded and outnumbered 200-to-1? But with such technological superiority? I like those odds.
Elves? Their forest retreats would BURN for miles around under the unrelenting assault of our napalm flame cannons!
Goblins? I wonder what a wrecking ball will do to their obsidian spire!
Humans!? Like their little wooden villages would stand up long!
Dwarves? Aggressive pumping of deadly phosgene down the front door after we smash it in (see wrecking ball above), and its all over!
If we tipped our hand too aggressively, those other civs would quite nervous indeed. I propose the following diplotmatic approach:
I woldn't say that a wrecking ball would be that useful against an obsidian spire. Could be I'm wrong, though, but my suggestion would involve heavy weapons covering all exits from the tower and a group of people setting large amounts of (stable) explosives around the base of the tower, rig 'em all up to a detonator of some sort, evacuate the area and just blast the tower into rubble.
Same goes for human castles, though we'd need some way to cover any shooting positions they have.
As for the dwarves, would we need a wrecking ball to destroy their gates? Couldn't we just wait until we can tow in some sort of massive howitzer and blast a HE shell at the gate, direct fire? Then the poisonous gas. Basically anything that can replace the oxygen would be a viable solution, such as carbon dioxide. Suffocate the bearded menace!
Goblins:
If you guys don't stop with killing the grass with your rotting corpses, we'll smash in your tower. Seriously. We'll capture your "master", put her ugly elephantine ass in a centrifuge, and use her to mass produce beautiful silk stockings and thermal jumpsuits. When were done, we will put a happy kitten petting zoo where your dark fortress used to be for the delight of sickeningly cute children, and import fairies and butterflies to complete the effect. Seriously. Quit sending mindless goons.
I'm not really sure about wiping them out. We could always use something to demonstrate our techonolgical superiority against. What better way to keep the elves in line (despite the tree-cutting) than show how efficient we are at killing things?
"We will not accept you cutting down all the trees!"
"Look out onto our front lawn. See those goblins? On average each was blasted into seven pieces."
"So what are you going to do about us cutting down the trees?"
"..."
"Fine, you'll get some giant eagles next month. Half price."
Post by: Splint on April 18, 2012, 12:01:45 am
Plus I like stabby things.
Quote
"We will not accept you cutting down all the trees!"
"Look out onto our front lawn. See those goblins? On average each was blasted into seven pieces."
"So what are you going to do about us cutting down the trees?"
"..."
"Fine, you'll get some giant eagles next month. Half price."
Hah.
Post by: KodKod on April 18, 2012, 12:02:53 am
Just a regular wednesday, then.
Does your avatar being changed to a more confused-looking thing have anything to do with that?
No, I change my avatar's expressions to match one of my three valid moods: Crazed, seething with hatred or temporarily placated.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 18, 2012, 12:04:46 am
"We will not accept you cutting down all the trees!"Not good enough. I demand a pet pangolin. Because pangolins are cool. Normal small animal preferred, but some giant ones would be good for war mounts. Bring us pangolins or bust.
"Look out onto our front lawn. See those goblins? On average each was blasted into seven pieces."
"So what are you going to do about us cutting down the trees?"
"..."
"Fine, you'll get some giant eagles next month. Half price."
Post by: Oliolli on April 18, 2012, 12:10:50 am
Post by: WillowLuman on April 18, 2012, 12:12:12 am
And kobolds, we would form great and unique cultures in our caves, and as we grow, we eventually learn how to dig, smelt, and we evolve to learn how to fight, we wall ourselves in, learn, and eventually get into the caverns, and begin to form a language, and with the dwarves we will defeat HFS and we all live happily ever after.
Or the dwarves will make us go boom.
Only the kobolds in the deepest part of the cave would possibly be saved, what with the cave being directly open to the air and not having mazelike reinforced passages. Still, I dare say a decent amount would survive the initial cosmic radiation and atmospheric firestorm.
Landmines are all well and good, so long as you don't forget where you put them.
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 12:18:48 am
I've also been thinking, regarding fortress defence... landmines. An efficient, passive defense. Any arguments against?
I already covered that on page 100!
Bouncing betties are nasty little things. Mines that jump up out of the ground THEN go boom!
Chest high shraptnel! Whee!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 18, 2012, 12:32:42 am
Post by: Eric Blank on April 18, 2012, 12:34:53 am
Landmines are all well and good, so long as you don't forget where you put them.
This. I'd avoid landmines as explosives if possible, due to the issues with communication. Diplomats and traders may end up wandering through the field because they'd have no experience with such things and they'd end up thinking we were intentionally killing them and declare war/refuse further trade. Plus, the Goblins are probably smarter than Russians, so I doubt they'd actually try to clear it with armies of useless untrained recruits, but rather with beak dog stampedes or captured prisoners; possibly us. Magma mines on the other hand might work in our favor, as they would provide permanent defenses that cannot be effectively disabled, so they'd actually be useful in funneling goblin forces who have no way to clear a dwarven magma mine field that resets itself.
Hey weird, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't putting powdered glass in someone's drink a very stealthy way to make them very dead?
Sounds like a setup for a bad case of
Post by: WillowLuman on April 18, 2012, 12:39:27 am
Post by: Splint on April 18, 2012, 12:44:12 am
Post by: WillowLuman on April 18, 2012, 01:01:11 am
No-one wants to be responsible for some idiot civilians who ignored the warning signs the stuck in the ground getting blow'd up.Well, the old Soviet Satellite states had plenty of unmarked minefields. Why tell the enemy where they are? Why not let the people trapped within worry about setting foot in the wrong place when trying to get out?
Post by: Oliolli on April 18, 2012, 01:15:33 am
Post by: Talvieno on April 18, 2012, 01:33:47 am
I think minefields could be made to work, with some precautions. Wooden fences around the minefields, which are around some proper roads. Not only would traders probably prefer to take a road, they'd not want to insult us by leaping over our nice fence and crossing through the field, especially if we put a "Please don't step on the grass" sign up. Invaders, however, would not be so polite.Why on earth would dwarves have a "Please don't step on the grass" sign in the first place??? Elves, maybe. If it wasn't for the way we mercilessly slaughtered goblins with weapons of mass destruction, we'd be the laughingstock of the whole world in no time. But no - The fence idea is great. Better yet, plant bushes through there beforehand - makes for very attractive cover. Who would take the road to attack someone if they could sneak through the bushes? Plus, if it was overgrown enough, nobody would want to go in there anyway, if you lived in the fort. What you'd do is have a small team of people laying the mines and keeping track on a map of where they are (that's our engineers (okay, maybe large group)). That way there's no trouble with communication from everyone laying their own mines (imagine someone pointing and proudly saying "and that's my mine. I laid it" and then someone walking past and blowing up), and we get the mines in there without having to mark them visibly. Minefields are a go - if you exercise caution and don't let everyone and their uncle work on them.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 18, 2012, 01:34:53 am
And then we begin planting the actual magma mines...
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 01:36:54 am
Hey weird, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't putting powdered glass in someone's drink a very stealthy way to make them very dead?
Depends on the amount, size, and character of said glass.
Gastric mucosa is surprisingly resistant to puncture. See for instance, people who eat pica.
wikipedia article (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pica_(disorder))
People with this disorder have been known to eat broken glass, plastic bits, nails, screws, washers, metal jacks (from the children's game), rubber, clay, chalk, wood, pretty much anything that can be eaten (physically) has been reported in the history of the disorder as having BEEN eaten at some point.
Normally, flat glass is not terribly dangerous, as the damaged tissue can dislodge the foriegn debris and seal with normal blood coagulation. The reason feeding crushed lightbulbs to people and animals is due to the curved nature of the glass shards, which undercut into the flesh, then mechanically bind up, and can't be expelled, so the would doesn't heal. This causes increased locallized inflamation, cytotoxic shock, and death.
If you want to kill someone steathfully, adding powdered ricin in their food is better than glass considerably, as it takes time for someone to die from ricin exposure. It works by gumming up the works, essentially. It inhibits normal protein synthesis, leading to multiple organ system failure from metabolic collapse. I understand the process is viciously unpleasant. Itself being an isolated protein from the castor bean plant, the redined poison is a weakly soluble offwhite powder, which is easy to administer, having very little if any flavor or odor.
If you insist on nasty stabbiness in the innards though, fine particles of abspestos sprinked into food and drink over several days or weeks will do it, sooner or later. Abspestos forms microscopic needles with a somewhat serrated surface aspect. The fibers puncture flesh, are/can be like nanoscopic syrenge needles, and are small enough to puncture cell walls, swirl around cellular neuclei, and permit cellular cytoplasm to leak out of cells, killing them. It will cause necrotic lesions and precancerous neoplasms to grow inside the gastric system with persistent administration. The fibers can become permanently lodged in the tissues, causing spreading, horrible pathogenesis.
Post by: Talvieno on April 18, 2012, 01:43:12 am
Post by: Cellmonk on April 18, 2012, 02:16:32 am
Post by: RAKninja on April 18, 2012, 05:46:58 am
Hey weird, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't putting powdered glass in someone's drink a very stealthy way to make them very dead?
Depends on the amount, size, and character of said glass.
Gastric mucosa is surprisingly resistant to puncture. See for instance, people who eat pica.
wikipedia article (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pica_(disorder))
People with this disorder have been known to eat broken glass, plastic bits, nails, screws, washers, metal jacks (from the children's game), rubber, clay, chalk, wood, pretty much anything that can be eaten (physically) has been reported in the history of the disorder as having BEEN eaten at some point.
Normally, flat glass is not terribly dangerous, as the damaged tissue can dislodge the foriegn debris and seal with normal blood coagulation. The reason feeding crushed lightbulbs to people and animals is due to the curved nature of the glass shards, which undercut into the flesh, then mechanically bind up, and can't be expelled, so the would doesn't heal. This causes increased locallized inflamation, cytotoxic shock, and death.
If you want to kill someone steathfully, adding powdered ricin in their food is better than glass considerably, as it takes time for someone to die from ricin exposure. It works by gumming up the works, essentially. It inhibits normal protein synthesis, leading to multiple organ system failure from metabolic collapse. I understand the process is viciously unpleasant. Itself being an isolated protein from the castor bean plant, the redined poison is a weakly soluble offwhite powder, which is easy to administer, having very little if any flavor or odor.
If you insist on nasty stabbiness in the innards though, fine particles of abspestos sprinked into food and drink over several days or weeks will do it, sooner or later. Abspestos forms microscopic needles with a somewhat serrated surface aspect. The fibers puncture flesh, are/can be like nanoscopic syrenge needles, and are small enough to puncture cell walls, swirl around cellular neuclei, and permit cellular cytoplasm to leak out of cells, killing them. It will cause necrotic lesions and precancerous neoplasms to grow inside the gastric system with persistent administration. The fibers can become permanently lodged in the tissues, causing spreading, horrible pathogenesis.
iocane powder. i stake my life on it.
Post by: Oliolli on April 18, 2012, 07:04:13 am
But no - The fence idea is great. Better yet, plant bushes through there beforehand - makes for very attractive cover. Who would take the road to attack someone if they could sneak through the bushes? Plus, if it was overgrown enough, nobody would want to go in there anyway, if you lived in the fort. What you'd do is have a small team of people laying the mines and keeping track on a map of where they are (that's our engineers (okay, maybe large group)). That way there's no trouble with communication from everyone laying their own mines (imagine someone pointing and proudly saying "and that's my mine. I laid it" and then someone walking past and blowing up), and we get the mines in there without having to mark them visibly. Minefields are a go - if you exercise caution and don't let everyone and their uncle work on them.
I was also thinking something along these lines. Areas where only authorized people (the engineer corps) are allowed to travel, with very detailed maps about the locations of any and all mines. Bushes and overgrowth are also good ideas.
<<Part4 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=106539.msg3187525#msg3187525)
I told you I'd get to it...
So, for starters I had to get oriented with the fort, of course. Checking my own dorf, I found that "Oliolli" in this game is female, and was apprently romantically involved with Urist Da Vinci O_o Also has a grudge against Kenpoaj.
Looking through the other forumites, it seems quite a few of us are already in a relationship. I suppose I can ignore these in the narrative.
Still not understanding what had been going on here, you continue your journey into the darkness of the fort. Reading everything that has been going on in the fort has made you slightly dizzy... or at least you hope that reading these things was what caused it. Engravings continue to cover the walls, and laptops and the such are becoming extremely rare.
It takes you some time before you run across another patch of text covering the walls. Blowing the dust away and raising your torch, you begin reading.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I know it's quite short, but re-checkign my timetable, I'm not sure if I have the time for this. Also, as I said, I'm quite poor at narrative, so I had to work solely based on what happened in the game. I had promised to do something though, so I had to make at least one entry. If anyone else has the time and willingness, they may go on in my stead.
Post by: Talvieno on April 18, 2012, 05:44:06 pm
So... Now we've broken into the caverns... I fear for the fortress. lol
EDIT:
@RAKninja - right idea, wrong powder. Vizzini started laughing when it took effect, and then died (sadly) because of an overdose. Maybe this'll explain it better.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: nekronuke on April 18, 2012, 07:43:31 pm
Urist Mchauler has canceled haul Giant Cave Spider Venom barrel, job item misplaced
Urist Mchauler has been found dead, suffocated
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 08:08:37 pm
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 08:13:22 pm
(Pat pat)
Needs to be fresh delicious kitten, puppy, or cow. Dwarves have eat sapient:unthinkable.
Now, if you had "super giant kudzu vines from a savage evil biome for sale! Spread in elven retreats for the lulz!", now you're talkin.
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 08:14:50 pm
I'm afraid that only elves will eat it little kobold....
(Pat pat)
Needs to be fresh delicious kitten, puppy, or cow. Dwarves have eat sapient:unthinkable.
Now, if you had "super giant kudzu vines from a savage evil biome for sale! Spread in elven retreats for the lulz!", now you're talkin.
I thought bonemeal makes stuff grow. I didnt know it was edible.
Post by: Cellmonk on April 18, 2012, 08:18:14 pm
I'm afraid that only elves will eat it little kobold....
(Pat pat)
Needs to be fresh delicious kitten, puppy, or cow. Dwarves have eat sapient:unthinkable.
Now, if you had "super giant kudzu vines from a savage evil biome for sale! Spread in elven retreats for the lulz!", now you're talkin.
I thought bonemeal makes stuff grow. I didnt know it was edible.
Oh god....
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 08:18:57 pm
(My cooking fettish is showing...)
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 08:20:07 pm
I'm afraid that only elves will eat it little kobold....
(Pat pat)
Needs to be fresh delicious kitten, puppy, or cow. Dwarves have eat sapient:unthinkable.
Now, if you had "super giant kudzu vines from a savage evil biome for sale! Spread in elven retreats for the lulz!", now you're talkin.
I thought bonemeal makes stuff grow. I didnt know it was edible.
Oh god....
All I know of bonemeal is that it has marrow, which is apparently good for nutrients.
I assumed that it would help stuff grow.
Post by: Talvieno on April 18, 2012, 08:20:35 pm
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 18, 2012, 08:25:43 pm
It does help stuff grow. Stuff like people. Mad Cow disease actually came from feeding cows the ground up bones because the suffering makes them more tender.
All I know of bonemeal is that it has marrow, which is apparently good for nutrients.
I assumed that it would help stuff grow.
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 08:27:37 pm
.....brbIt does help stuff grow. Stuff like people. Mad Cow disease actually came from feeding cows the ground up bones because the suffering makes them more tender.
All I know of bonemeal is that it has marrow, which is apparently good for nutrients.
I assumed that it would help stuff grow.
Okay plump helmet....eat the bones.....eat it and give the dwarves mad mushroom disease....eat it......
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 18, 2012, 08:31:37 pm
Actually the problem was the cannibalism not the bones, if you eat human flesh you get Kuru which is the same basic thing. You could give the plump helmets plump helmet man flesh.
.....brb
Okay plump helmet....eat the bones.....eat it and give the dwarves mad mushroom disease....eat it......
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 08:33:41 pm
scrapie sheep->mad cows->CJD dwarves
In that order.
So, you need to feed bessy ground up bits of lambchop, then have dwarves eat bessy's neural tissues.
Not that stumbling, berzerk dwarves are all that abnormal anyway...
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 08:34:03 pm
Actually the problem was the cannibalism not the bones, if you eat human flesh you get Kuru which is the same basic thing. You could give the plump helmets plump helmet man flesh.
.....brb
Okay plump helmet....eat the bones.....eat it and give the dwarves mad mushroom disease....eat it......
Thank you.
Dwarves cancel live: Infected with Mad Mushroom disease.
Post by: nekronuke on April 18, 2012, 08:34:25 pm
they haunt my room and make my food taste like burning
Post by: Cellmonk on April 18, 2012, 08:36:49 pm
Actually the problem was the cannibalism not the bones, if you eat human flesh you get Kuru which is the same basic thing. You could give the plump helmets plump helmet man flesh.
.....brb
Okay plump helmet....eat the bones.....eat it and give the dwarves mad mushroom disease....eat it......
Although, since the elves cannibalize a lot, they probably have a lot of flesh diseases going around. One might be able to make the disease jump to plump helmet men easier by feeding them both elf flesh and their brethren, since they might at the moment lack a disease of the sort needed.
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 18, 2012, 08:37:10 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 18, 2012, 08:39:01 pm
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 08:39:38 pm
EATING OF SENIENTS? YES OR HELL YES?
Mmm, delicious sentients. I’d probably avoid human or dwarf for various reasons , but I see no problem feasting upon elf-flesh.
Do we get to go
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 08:40:36 pm
Being a sponge, the only thing it could feel would be anger though.
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 18, 2012, 08:41:59 pm
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 08:42:59 pm
Now that I think about it Kobolds have no real traditional humanoid features, eating them is really no different than eating crundle.
We make 37% of all your profits through stealing your enemies stuff, which also weakens them. Dont you go eating my kobolds.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 18, 2012, 08:43:34 pm
As for crushed glass, weird, I'd just heard vietnam anecdotes from my uncles about kids giving out coca cola with crushed glass in, then soldiers finding out about it by the ones who drank it dying.
Post by: Cellmonk on April 18, 2012, 08:44:11 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 18, 2012, 08:44:20 pm
Post by: nekronuke on April 18, 2012, 08:44:49 pm
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 08:45:36 pm
HELL NO. It can only end badly. Also, we need to do science to determine whether animal men have human DNA or not. If they do, it is possible that eating them could give us prion diseases.
As for crushed glass, weird, I'd just heard vietnam anecdotes from my uncles about kids giving out coca cola with crushed glass in, then soldiers finding out about it by the ones who drank it dying.
.....FREE BEER! FREE BEER! EVERYONE NEEDS BEER! I DONT DRINK SO I WONT DRINK IT!
No Freeble, dont drink the beer.
Corai: silence. i'm making Theif soup. what race were you again? i'm missing one...
Im a..............................................................................................
Yeah, I am a.
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 08:45:57 pm
Finally! Something to use the mechanically seperatedkobold flesh for!
I've had quite a bit of "industrial waste" since implementing the kobold taxidermy policy.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 18, 2012, 08:46:28 pm
Post by: nekronuke on April 18, 2012, 08:46:47 pm
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 08:47:10 pm
Except kobolds aren't named after yucky taint skin patches.
Finally! Something to use the mechanically seperatedkobold flesh for!
I've had quite a bit of "industrial waste" since implementing the kobold taxidermy policy.
Drink this beer. Drink it now.
you're awful hairy for a punctuation mark.
Really? I see myself as smooth.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 18, 2012, 08:47:44 pm
EATING OF SENIENTS? YES OR HELL YES?
NO.
It's more an issue with desecrating the corpses of the dead than anything, but it's elven in suggestion. Dwarves aren't supposed to desecrate corpses (outside of the act of making them a corpse...), and neither are we. Only elves and goblins desecrate corpses, even if the goblins only impale them or hang them from a saquaro. Corpse desecration is an elfy or otherwise evil thing that even we should not sink to. Entomb/incinerate the dead, or at the very least elave them to rot in peace, even if it's not cannibalism to eat capybara men/women due to the species difference.
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 08:49:05 pm
EATING OF SENIENTS? YES OR HELL YES?
NO.
It's more an issue with desecrating the corpses of the dead than anything, but it's elven in suggestion. Dwarves aren't supposed to desecrate corpses (outside of the act of making them a corpse...), and neither are we. Only elves and goblins desecrate corpses, even if the goblins only impale them or hang them from a saquaro. Corpse desecration is an elfy or otherwise evil thing that even we should not sink to. Entomb/incinerate the dead, even if it's not cannibalism to eat capybara men/women due to the species difference.
I just went with the two things everyone was saying when I posted.
Me no like goblin-pie.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 18, 2012, 08:49:37 pm
Post by: nekronuke on April 18, 2012, 08:50:39 pm
Except kobolds aren't named after yucky taint skin patches.
Finally! Something to use the mechanically seperatedkobold flesh for!
I've had quite a bit of "industrial waste" since implementing the kobold taxidermy policy.
Drink this beer. Drink it now.you're awful hairy for a punctuation mark.
Really? I see myself as smooth.
oh i see, you're a kobold! wait a minute...
Nekronuke looses a roaring laughter, fell and terrible.
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 18, 2012, 08:51:54 pm
HELL NO. It can only end badly. Also, we need to do science to determine whether animal men have human DNA or not. If they do, it is possible that eating them could give us prion diseases.Well if we're dwarves prion diseases don't spread easily between species.
As for crushed glass, weird, I'd just heard vietnam anecdotes from my uncles about kids giving out coca cola with crushed glass in, then soldiers finding out about it by the ones who drank it dying.
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 08:52:03 pm
I just realized; what if kobolds are actually stunted elves/gobbos (or a hybrid) that became outcasts from society, then met up and bred a degenerate race with inborn cancer of the speech center of the brain? Which is why they can't talk?
Goblins are far to violent for us to loose that trait, so by that were probably elves.
....................MASS SUICIDE!
Except kobolds aren't named after yucky taint skin patches.
Finally! Something to use the mechanically seperatedkobold flesh for!
I've had quite a bit of "industrial waste" since implementing the kobold taxidermy policy.
Drink this beer. Drink it now.you're awful hairy for a punctuation mark.
Really? I see myself as smooth.
oh i see, you're a kobold! wait a minute...
Nekronuke looses a roaring laughter, fell and terrible.
Corai draws his Large Copper Dagger in self defense, then runs. THIEF SKILLS BRO.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 18, 2012, 08:52:32 pm
HugoLuman tackled Nekronuke, bruising the back's muscle!Except kobolds aren't named after yucky taint skin patches.
Finally! Something to use the mechanically seperatedkobold flesh for!
I've had quite a bit of "industrial waste" since implementing the kobold taxidermy policy.
Drink this beer. Drink it now.you're awful hairy for a punctuation mark.
Really? I see myself as smooth.
oh i see, you're a kobold! wait a minute...
Nekronuke looses a roaring laughter, fell and terrible.
They collide and tumble backward!
HugoLuman latches on firmly!
We've got a mooder here! Get the jacket!
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 08:53:43 pm
Kobolds though? I think of them as something like an echidna, twisted into have pre-sentience. Eating one is about as tacky as eating a monkey, but with less zoonotic risks. (They lay eggs, and are therefor a completely different genus.)
But damn do they make cute stuffed toys! Now with air bladder powered stabbing action, and pull chord gibberish!
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 18, 2012, 08:54:08 pm
The entire idea is that Bay12 is the Mountainhomes, if we decide what's right and wrong how could we go anywhere except sociopath pragmatism?
NO.
It's more an issue with desecrating the corpses of the dead than anything, but it's elven in suggestion. Dwarves aren't supposed to desecrate corpses (outside of the act of making them a corpse...), and neither are we. Only elves and goblins desecrate corpses, even if the goblins only impale them or hang them from a saquaro. Corpse desecration is an elfy or otherwise evil thing that even we should not sink to. Entomb/incinerate the dead, or at the very least elave them to rot in peace, even if it's not cannibalism to eat capybara men/women due to the species difference.
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 08:54:19 pm
HugoLuman tackled Nekronuke, bruising the back's muscle!Except kobolds aren't named after yucky taint skin patches.
Finally! Something to use the mechanically seperatedkobold flesh for!
I've had quite a bit of "industrial waste" since implementing the kobold taxidermy policy.
Drink this beer. Drink it now.you're awful hairy for a punctuation mark.
Really? I see myself as smooth.
oh i see, you're a kobold! wait a minute...
Nekronuke looses a roaring laughter, fell and terrible.
They collide and tumble backward!
HugoLuman latches on firmly!
We've got a mooder here! Get the jacket!
The kobold is hiding in a dark corner, rolling back and forth hugging his dagger.
The laughing.....the laughing..........
Post by: Eric Blank on April 18, 2012, 08:54:41 pm
I just realized; what if kobolds are actually stunted elves/gobbos (or a hybrid) that became outcasts from society, then met up and bred a degenerate race with inborn cancer of the speech center of the brain? Which is why they can't talk?
The inability to communicate would definitely be the major cause of their "lack of intellect." Even if they were tiny geniuses, the lack of communiction would make it impossible for them to ever accomplish/learn anything significant, or properly display their genius. Communication is vital to human beings.
Of course they could just be morons with completely untreatable, severe ADHD like nothing a human is ever capable of.
Post by: nekronuke on April 18, 2012, 08:54:52 pm
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 08:55:35 pm
Nekronuke cancels cook lavish meal: Tackled.
The spinning rock strieks Nekronuke in the head, bruising the skin! x502
GET AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 18, 2012, 08:55:52 pm
Goblins are far to violent for us to loose that trait, so by that were probably elves.
....................MASS SUICIDE!
Elves don't steal. Maybe Kobolds think that treasure is children? That's why they die in worldgen, they keep trying to have sex with stolen socks.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 18, 2012, 08:56:15 pm
NINJA'd 3 times!
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 08:57:45 pm
(Turkey stuffed with kobold stuffed with chicken)
Only way to make it lavish.
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 08:58:20 pm
Goblins are far to violent for us to loose that trait, so by that were probably elves.
....................MASS SUICIDE!
Elves don't steal. Maybe Kobolds think that treasure is children? That's why they die in worldgen, they keep trying to have sex with stolen socks.
Nigh-anyone will steal if the outlook is grim.
Were probably just pessimistic.
Or just out-right stupid.
Post by: nekronuke on April 18, 2012, 08:58:30 pm
Nekronuke cancels cook lavish meal: Tackled.
The spinning rock strieks Nekronuke in the head, bruising the skin! x502
GET AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Nekronuke becomes enraged!
The spinning +Meat Cleaver+ pins Corai to the wall by his Left Sock!
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 08:59:40 pm
Nekronuke cancels cook lavish meal: Tackled.
The spinning rock strieks Nekronuke in the head, bruising the skin! x502
GET AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Nekronuke becomes enraged!
The spinning +Meat Cleaver+ pins Corai to the wall by his Left Sock!
...Why didnt you just kill the guy on top of you with that?
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 09:00:48 pm
Mmmm.. smells good! Is that a delightful sunshine bisque I smell?
Post by: nekronuke on April 18, 2012, 09:01:02 pm
Because you must be soup, of course.Nekronuke cancels cook lavish meal: Tackled.
The spinning rock strieks Nekronuke in the head, bruising the skin! x502
GET AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Nekronuke becomes enraged!
The spinning +Meat Cleaver+ pins Corai to the wall by his Left Sock!
...Why didnt you just kill the guy on top of you with that?
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 09:02:18 pm
*sniff*
Mmmm.. smells good! Is that a delightful sunshine bisque I smell?
I baked you a pie.
What? Give a human in a kobold's body time and they become wonderful bakers.
Because you must be soup, of course.Nekronuke cancels cook lavish meal: Tackled.
The spinning rock strieks Nekronuke in the head, bruising the skin! x502
GET AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Nekronuke becomes enraged!
The spinning +Meat Cleaver+ pins Corai to the wall by his Left Sock!
...Why didnt you just kill the guy on top of you with that?
Oh I always imagined myself being more of a roast.........WHAT AM I SAYING!
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 18, 2012, 09:03:14 pm
...Why didnt you just kill the guy on top of you with that?
I've realized that less than half of all things are bones so from now on I shall put everything on bones so that everything will by twice as much bones. My math is irrefutable.
This is an exceptionally designed cat bone slab, on the item is an image of Corai the Kobold and Necronuke the Dwarf in cat bone. Necronuke is making terrible decisions, Corai is puzzled.
Post by: nekronuke on April 18, 2012, 09:03:55 pm
Because you must be soup, of course.Nekronuke cancels cook lavish meal: Tackled.
The spinning rock strieks Nekronuke in the head, bruising the skin! x502
GET AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Nekronuke becomes enraged!
The spinning +Meat Cleaver+ pins Corai to the wall by his Left Sock!
...Why didnt you just kill the guy on top of you with that?
Oh I always imagined myself being more of a roast.........WHAT AM I SAYING!
SURRENDER AND BE DELICIOUS
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 09:05:02 pm
Soup isn't a lavish meal at all!
Orange dressing drizzled over oven roasted kobold, with orange slice garnish over the eyeballs, with carrots, served with prickleberry wine.
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 09:05:20 pm
Because you must be soup, of course.Nekronuke cancels cook lavish meal: Tackled.
The spinning rock strieks Nekronuke in the head, bruising the skin! x502
GET AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Nekronuke becomes enraged!
The spinning +Meat Cleaver+ pins Corai to the wall by his Left Sock!
...Why didnt you just kill the guy on top of you with that?
Oh I always imagined myself being more of a roast.........WHAT AM I SAYING!
SURRENDER AND BE DELICIOUS
HES FELL! HES FELL! SOMEONE GET THE JACKET!
PLEASE?
Post by: KodKod on April 18, 2012, 09:06:13 pm
A thousand curses upon my empty fridge.
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 09:07:02 pm
Armokdamn this is making me hungry.
A thousand curses upon my empty fridge.
This is getting sigged.
Post by: nekronuke on April 18, 2012, 09:07:16 pm
Nekronuke latches on firmly
SOOOOOUUUUUUPPP
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 18, 2012, 09:07:55 pm
HES FELL! HES FELL! SOMEONE GET THE JACKET!
PLEASE?
This is an exceptionally designed cat bone slab, on the item is a well designed image of Corai the Kobold and Necronuke the Dwarf. Necronuke the dwarf has a brilliant idea, Corai the Kobold is being selfish and rude.
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 09:09:16 pm
HES FELL! HES FELL! SOMEONE GET THE JACKET!
PLEASE?
This is an exceptionally designed cat bone slab, on the item is a well designed image of Corai the Kobold and Necronuke the Dwarf. Necronuke the dwarf has a brilliant idea, Corai the Kobold is being selfish and rude.
....Hes trying to kill me, he just use a replica I have everywhere.
Nekronuke bites Corai in the left lower leg.
Nekronuke latches on firmly
SOOOOOUUUUUUPPP
CoraiUnki stabs Nekronuke in the head with the Large Copper Dagger, shattering the skull, tearing the muscle, and tearing the fat.
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 09:11:04 pm
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 18, 2012, 09:13:56 pm
....Hes trying to kill me, he just use a replica I have everywhere.
This is an exceptionally designed cat bone slab, on the item is an image of Corai the Kobold. Corai the Kobold is lying and doing unspeakable things to small animals.
Post by: nekronuke on April 18, 2012, 09:14:25 pm
Nekronuke has latched on firmly
No matter what, you will be an artifact something!
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 09:15:18 pm
....Hes trying to kill me, he just use a replica I have everywhere.
This is an exceptionally designed cat bone slab, on the item is an image of Corai the Kobold. Corai the Kobold is lying and doing unspeakable things to small animals.
I left out a word, now I look idiotic instead of stupid.
.......No look, there-No those are other kobolds.
.....IM THE SMALLEST THING HERE! WHAT CAN I EVEN DO TO A SMALL ANIMAL? SLAP IT?
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 18, 2012, 09:18:18 pm
I left out a word, now I look idiotic instead of stupid.
.......No look, there-No those are other kobolds.
.....IM THE SMALLEST THING HERE! WHAT CAN I EVEN DO TO A SMALL ANIMAL? SLAP IT?
This is an exceptionally designed cat bone slab, on the item is an image of Corai the Kobold and Broseph Stalin the Dwarf. Broseph Stalin is diligently recording the indisputably true history of the world. Corai the Kobold is rolling in trash and saying rude things to babies.
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 09:19:03 pm
I have the presentation all thought out! I will stuff you with whole peeled new potatos, so that when you get cut into, they look like kobold eggs!
I'll use a cut sliced carrot cut longwise to look like a copper dagger, and a kale leaf loincloth! You'll be adorably delicious!
Now stop fighting!
Post by: nekronuke on April 18, 2012, 09:19:58 pm
(\-"````"-/)
//^\ /^\\
;/ ~_\ /_~ \;
| / \\// \ |
(, \0/ \0/ ,)
| / \ |
| (_\.__./_) |
\ \-v..v-/ /
\ `====' /
`\\\///'
'\\//'
\/
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 09:20:52 pm
I left out a word, now I look idiotic instead of stupid.
.......No look, there-No those are other kobolds.
.....IM THE SMALLEST THING HERE! WHAT CAN I EVEN DO TO A SMALL ANIMAL? SLAP IT?
This is an exceptionally designed cat bone slab, on the item is an image of Corai the Kobold and Broseph Stalin the Dwarf. Broseph Stalin is diligently recording the indisputably true history of the world. Corai the Kobold is rolling in trash and saying rude things to babies.
Trash is rather comfy, and I cant speak. SO HAH.
You're like a cornish game hen... small, but rich, concentrated flavor!
I have the presentation all thought out! I will stuff you with whole peeled new potatos, so that when you get cut into, they look like kobold eggs!
I'll use a cut sliced carrot cut longwise to look like a copper dagger, and a kale leaf loincloth! You'll be adorably delicious!
Now stop fighting!
.......ILL STAB YOU!
But it glances off x23
.....Bah. Im gonna go look at the raven eggs.
Post by: Cellmonk on April 18, 2012, 09:21:13 pm
Pulls random lever.
Warm hatch opens above Nekronuke and Corai.
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 09:22:13 pm
Cellmonk mourns cat. Cellmonk is angry. Cellmonk is in a fit.
Pulls random lever.
Warm hatch opens above Nekronuke and Corai.
Im at the ravens. Hes bleeding out from a stab to the head, he'll be fine though.
Post by: nekronuke on April 18, 2012, 09:24:11 pm
Nekronuke has begun a mysterious construction
Post by: Broseph Stalin on April 18, 2012, 09:25:08 pm
Trash is rather comfy, and I cant speak. SO HAH.
This is an exceptionally designed cat bone slab, on the item is an image of Corai the Kobold and elves. Corai is kissing the elves. This relates to the kissing of elves by Corai the Kobold.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 18, 2012, 09:25:43 pm
HugoLuman gives Necronuke an elbow piledrive, bruising HugoLuman's right elbow!
Nekronuke falls unconscious!
Post by: nekronuke on April 18, 2012, 09:26:05 pm
Trash is rather comfy, and I cant speak. SO HAH.
This is an exceptionally designed cat bone slab, on the item is an image of Corai the Kobold and elves. Corai is kissing the elves. This relates to the kissing of elves by Corai the Kobold.
Its engraved, therefore true. BURN HIM
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 09:26:47 pm
*weird joykill viciously tickles a hagfish on the counter, and gently scrapes it with a rubber spatula.
*weird joykill loads the goop into a pastry bag.
*weird joykill fills a bucket with water at the well.
*weird joykill goes to the raven's nest to find corai...
Post by: WillowLuman on April 18, 2012, 09:27:44 pm
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 09:28:27 pm
Trash is rather comfy, and I cant speak. SO HAH.
This is an exceptionally designed cat bone slab, on the item is an image of Corai the Kobold and elves. Corai is kissing the elves. This relates to the kissing of elves by Corai the Kobold.
This is a egraving of CoraiUnki and elves, CoraiUnki is on a stool, Elves are laughing at his height. This relates to the height of CoraiUnki.
Trash is rather comfy, and I cant speak. SO HAH.
This is an exceptionally designed cat bone slab, on the item is an image of Corai the Kobold and elves. Corai is kissing the elves. This relates to the kissing of elves by Corai the Kobold.
Its engraved, therefore true. BURN HIM
This is a engraving of Nekronuke and dwarves, Nekronuke is killing everydwarf. This relates to the murder of dwarves by Nekronuke.
IT IS ENGRAVED, KILL HIM!
CoraiUnki cancels post, Ninja'd x4
Post by: nekronuke on April 18, 2012, 09:29:48 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on April 18, 2012, 09:30:19 pm
The Twelfth Bay has gone Stark Raving Mad!
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 09:30:47 pm
*weird joykill splashes Corai with the bucket of water!
Post by: Eric Blank on April 18, 2012, 09:31:09 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 18, 2012, 09:31:14 pm
Look at what you’ve gone and done with your talk of food. I smoulder with generic rage!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 18, 2012, 09:32:20 pm
Four biscuits, that's all I have in my damn home. That or mix up a tuna sandwich, but frankly I've had enough tuna for one day!I wonder, do the brain chemicals produced by your rage corrode metal?
Look at what you’ve gone and done with your talk of food. I smoulder with generic rage!
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 09:32:39 pm
Nekronuke has created ASDF-qwertyuiop: The Fast Muds, a Rainbow diamond kobold stew
...Rainbow diamond?
I HAZ RAINBOWS AND DIAMONDS?
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.
/annoyingkoboldhappiness
*weird joykill sprays Corai with the hagfish goop by forcefully squeezing the pastry bag!
*weird joykill splashes Corai with the bucket of water!
Kobolds practically LIVE in this stuff, whatever it does it wont work.
Unless the water does something.
NINJA'D FIVE TIMES, REALLY? I USED TO NINJA YOU GUYS.
Post by: nekronuke on April 18, 2012, 09:32:55 pm
Four biscuits, that's all I have in my damn home. That or mix up a tuna sandwich, but frankly I've had enough tuna for one day!HES A DIGGLE, BURN HIM
Look at what you’ve gone and done with your talk of food. I smoulder with generic rage!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 18, 2012, 09:33:36 pm
Uh oh. You just called Kodkod a...Four biscuits, that's all I have in my damn home. That or mix up a tuna sandwich, but frankly I've had enough tuna for one day!HES A DIGGLE, BURN HIM
Look at what you’ve gone and done with your talk of food. I smoulder with generic rage!
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 09:34:02 pm
Four biscuits, that's all I have in my damn home. That or mix up a tuna sandwich, but frankly I've had enough tuna for one day!HES A DIGGLE, BURN HIM
Look at what you’ve gone and done with your talk of food. I smoulder with generic rage!
YOU GUYS STARTED ALL THE KOBOLD-CANNIBALISM.
BURN EVERYONE I VOTE, THEN WE CREATE A NEW FORTRESS. THEN REPEAT.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 18, 2012, 09:34:35 pm
Will it make horse-bone armor?Four biscuits, that's all I have in my damn home. That or mix up a tuna sandwich, but frankly I've had enough tuna for one day!HES A DIGGLE, BURN HIM
Look at what you’ve gone and done with your talk of food. I smoulder with generic rage!
YOU GUYS STARTED ALL THE KOBOLD-CANNIBALISM.
BURN EVERYONE I VOTE, THEN WE CREATE A NEW FORTRESS. THEN REPEAT.
Post by: nekronuke on April 18, 2012, 09:35:11 pm
Four biscuits, that's all I have in my damn home. That or mix up a tuna sandwich, but frankly I've had enough tuna for one day!HES A DIGGLE, BURN HIM
Look at what you’ve gone and done with your talk of food. I smoulder with generic rage!
YOU GUYS STARTED ALL THE KOBOLD-CANNIBALISM.
BURN EVERYONE I VOTE, THEN WE CREATE A NEW FORTRESS. THEN REPEAT.
its not cannibalism. im not a kobold. and im not forcing you to eat the soup.
eat the goddamn soup.
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 09:35:44 pm
Will it make horse-bone armor?Four biscuits, that's all I have in my damn home. That or mix up a tuna sandwich, but frankly I've had enough tuna for one day!HES A DIGGLE, BURN HIM
Look at what you’ve gone and done with your talk of food. I smoulder with generic rage!
YOU GUYS STARTED ALL THE KOBOLD-CANNIBALISM.
BURN EVERYONE I VOTE, THEN WE CREATE A NEW FORTRESS. THEN REPEAT.
........
.......
......
Corai unleashes a hail of laughter, fell and terrible.
Post by: KodKod on April 18, 2012, 09:37:14 pm
I wonder, do the brain chemicals produced by your rage corrode metal?
Brain chemicals? Don’t be silly, this is rage we’re talking about; I produce bile so caustic it would eat right through a person.
HES A DIGGLE, BURN HIM
I am neither diggle nor man. You speak to KodKod, greatest and most maniacal of the forum's woman warrior elite.
Props for catching the reference though.
Post by: Cellmonk on April 18, 2012, 09:38:21 pm
Four biscuits, that's all I have in my damn home. That or mix up a tuna sandwich, but frankly I've had enough tuna for one day!HES A DIGGLE, BURN HIM
Look at what you’ve gone and done with your talk of food. I smoulder with generic rage!
YOU GUYS STARTED ALL THE KOBOLD-CANNIBALISM.
BURN EVERYONE I VOTE, THEN WE CREATE A NEW FORTRESS. THEN REPEAT.
Cellmonk places hand tentatively on ominous lever
Post by: Skyrunner on April 18, 2012, 09:39:34 pm
First though: what is this madness I don't even
What race do ya think I am? O_o
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 09:39:48 pm
Four biscuits, that's all I have in my damn home. That or mix up a tuna sandwich, but frankly I've had enough tuna for one day!
Look at what you’ve gone and done with your talk of food. I smoulder with generic rage!
Delicious roast cornish hen, served with herb roasted mashed potatoes and gibblet gravy, steamed cauliflower, and honey glazed carrots.
In the kitchen, the cork pops from a bottle of sparkling white wine.
The server is a tall, if slightly plump girl in a well fitted bodice. Her slightly curled golden hair spills luxuriantly about her shoulders, as she glides effortlessly into the room. Her smile is brilliant white, and her periwinkle eyes glitter to match.
With a wink, she lays the desert menu on the table beside the entre', and saunters toward the kitchen....
(I will go to hell for this.)
Post by: nekronuke on April 18, 2012, 09:40:11 pm
I wonder, do the brain chemicals produced by your rage corrode metal?
Brain chemicals? Don’t be silly, this is rage we’re talking about; I produce bile so caustic it would eat right through a person.HES A DIGGLE, BURN HIM
I am neither diggle nor man. You speak to KodKod, greatest and most maniacal of the forum's woman warrior elite.
Props for catching the reference though.
caustic bile? warrior elite? <33 my dwarven heart, she is beating like a troll on the gabbro front gates
Post by: KodKod on April 18, 2012, 09:41:25 pm
Delicious roast cornish hen, served with herb roasted mashed potatoes and gibblet gravy, steamed cauliflower, and honey glazed carrots.
In the kitchen, the cork pops from a bottle of sparkling white wine.
The server is a tall, if slightly plump girl in a well fitted bodice. Her slightly curled golden hair spills luxuriantly about her shoulders, as she glides effortlessly into the room. Her smile is brilliant white, and her periwinkle eyes glitter to match.
With a wink, she lays the desert menu on the table beside the entre', and saunters toward the kitchen....
(I will go to hell for this.)
You will never again know peace.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 18, 2012, 09:42:16 pm
Hi!
First though: what is this madness I don't even
What race do ya think I am? O_o
...A moose-man...?
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 09:48:31 pm
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 09:50:59 pm
Delicious roast cornish hen, served with herb roasted mashed potatoes and gibblet gravy, steamed cauliflower, and honey glazed carrots.
In the kitchen, the cork pops from a bottle of sparkling white wine.
The server is a tall, if slightly plump girl in a well fitted bodice. Her slightly curled golden hair spills luxuriantly about her shoulders, as she glides effortlessly into the room. Her smile is brilliant white, and her periwinkle eyes glitter to match.
With a wink, she lays the desert menu on the table beside the entre', and saunters toward the kitchen....
(I will go to hell for this.)
You will never again know peace.
*evil laughter*
You liked it and you know it. :D
(I'm a bad man.. a bad, bad man... lol!)
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 09:51:40 pm
Delicious roast cornish hen, served with herb roasted mashed potatoes and gibblet gravy, steamed cauliflower, and honey glazed carrots.
In the kitchen, the cork pops from a bottle of sparkling white wine.
The server is a tall, if slightly plump girl in a well fitted bodice. Her slightly curled golden hair spills luxuriantly about her shoulders, as she glides effortlessly into the room. Her smile is brilliant white, and her periwinkle eyes glitter to match.
With a wink, she lays the desert menu on the table beside the entre', and saunters toward the kitchen....
(I will go to hell for this.)
You will never again know peace.
*evil laughter*
You liked it and you know it. :D
(I'm a bad man.. a bad, bad man... lol!)
Your a good, good demon though.
Post by: KodKod on April 18, 2012, 09:56:39 pm
*evil laughter*
You liked it and you know it. :D
(I'm a bad man.. a bad, bad man... lol!)
You're just lucky that these biscuits aren't half bad, their caramelised deliciousness has temporarily placated the beast.
If you know what's good for you then do not taunt me a second time.
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 09:58:47 pm
*evil laughter*
You liked it and you know it. :D
(I'm a bad man.. a bad, bad man... lol!)
You're just lucky that these biscuits aren't half bad, their caramelised deliciousness has temporarily placated the beast.
If you know what's good for you then do not taunt me a second time.
....I mean no heresy, but what COULD you do to him through the internet?
YES, I JUST BROKE THE INTERNET. WHAT OF IT?
Post by: KodKod on April 18, 2012, 10:02:11 pm
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 10:04:44 pm
*evil laughter*
You liked it and you know it. :D
(I'm a bad man.. a bad, bad man... lol!)
You're just lucky that these biscuits aren't half bad, their caramelised deliciousness has temporarily placated the beast.
If you know what's good for you then do not taunt me a second time.
Taunt? Never!
Tease? Certainly, but never taunt!
(If it's any consolation I would never tease like this in person without offering said dinner as a friendly gesture.)
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 10:06:05 pm
*evil laughter*
You liked it and you know it. :D
(I'm a bad man.. a bad, bad man... lol!)
You're just lucky that these biscuits aren't half bad, their caramelised deliciousness has temporarily placated the beast.
If you know what's good for you then do not taunt me a second time.
Taunt? Never!
Tease? Certainly, but never taunt!
(If it's any consolation I would never tease like this in person without offering said dinner as a friendly gesture.)
OOOH OOOH CAN I BE A WAITER?
Post by: nekronuke on April 18, 2012, 10:08:16 pm
*evil laughter*
You liked it and you know it. :D
(I'm a bad man.. a bad, bad man... lol!)
You're just lucky that these biscuits aren't half bad, their caramelised deliciousness has temporarily placated the beast.
If you know what's good for you then do not taunt me a second time.
Taunt? Never!
Tease? Certainly, but never taunt!
(If it's any consolation I would never tease like this in person without offering said dinner as a friendly gesture.)
OOOH OOOH CAN I BE A WAITER?
You can be soup
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 10:08:59 pm
*evil laughter*
You liked it and you know it. :D
(I'm a bad man.. a bad, bad man... lol!)
You're just lucky that these biscuits aren't half bad, their caramelised deliciousness has temporarily placated the beast.
If you know what's good for you then do not taunt me a second time.
Taunt? Never!
Tease? Certainly, but never taunt!
(If it's any consolation I would never tease like this in person without offering said dinner as a friendly gesture.)
OOOH OOOH CAN I BE A WAITER?
You can be soup
I punctuate my sentences, so no.
Post by: Splint on April 18, 2012, 10:09:22 pm
HOLY BALLS.
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 10:10:05 pm
I go and play Napoleon: Total War with a friend for 3 measly hours, and 6 pages appear from nowhere. My response to the sudden spike?
HOLY BALLS.
Have a mug of kobold-brew and read it all.
Post by: nekronuke on April 18, 2012, 10:11:31 pm
Post by: Splint on April 18, 2012, 10:12:18 pm
Corai has canceled Wait Tables: Has been turned into soupThere ya go.
Can't, I got school in the morning.
Stupid school always makin' me miss funny stuff.
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 10:14:21 pm
Corai has canceled Wait Tables: Soup
Oh my soup is ready? Nekronuke I have your soup, wait a second....
Here you go. This is a superior quality Kobold Meat Soup, it contains finely minced Prickle Berries, and finely minced adamanite. Use a spoon.
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 10:17:55 pm
The cord has been drawn tight!
Weird joykill sings triumphantly, swinging the bag playfully in circles as he heads for the kitchen...
Post by: Cellmonk on April 18, 2012, 10:18:55 pm
Corai has canceled Wait Tables: Soup
Oh my soup is ready? Nekronuke I have your soup, wait a second....
Here you go. This is a superior quality Kobold Meat Soup, it contains finely minced Prickle Berries, and finely minced adamanite. Use a spoon.
Wouldn't swallowing adamantine be a lot like swallowing asbestos fibers? Sneaky sneaky kobold...
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 10:20:22 pm
The pigtail sack envelops the kobold thief!
The cord has been drawn tight!
Weird joykill sings triumphantly, swinging the bag playfully in circles as he heads for the kitchen...
The kobold thief slices his way out, laughs, and runs away.
Corai has canceled Wait Tables: Soup
Oh my soup is ready? Nekronuke I have your soup, wait a second....
Here you go. This is a superior quality Kobold Meat Soup, it contains finely minced Prickle Berries, and finely minced adamanite. Use a spoon.
Wouldn't swallowing adamantine be a lot like swallowing asbestos fibers? Sneaky sneaky kobold...
.....FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 10:25:25 pm
Weird joykill hurls (Giant ostritch egg) at the kobold thief!
The (Giant ostritch egg) collides with the kobold thief, enveloping the head!
The kobold thief is having difficulty breathing!
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 10:26:53 pm
Weird joykill cancels sing: interrupted by kobold thief.
Weird joykill hurls (Giant ostritch egg) at the kobold thief!
The (Giant ostritch egg) collides with the kobold thief, enveloping the head!
The kobold thief is having difficulty breathing!
/cue a annoying chase scene until I collasp from running.
Post by: Archereon on April 18, 2012, 10:29:15 pm
Weird joykill cancels sing: interrupted by kobold thief.
Weird joykill hurls (Giant ostritch egg) at the kobold thief!
The (Giant ostritch egg) collides with the kobold thief, enveloping the head!
The kobold thief is having difficulty breathing!
/cue a annoying chase scene until I collasp from running.
Obligatory. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnHmskwqCCQ)
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 10:42:52 pm
Weird joykill cancels sing: interrupted by kobold thief.
Weird joykill hurls (Giant ostritch egg) at the kobold thief!
The (Giant ostritch egg) collides with the kobold thief, enveloping the head!
The kobold thief is having difficulty breathing!
/cue a annoying chase scene until I collasp from running.
Obligatory. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnHmskwqCCQ)
Weird Joykill rushes at the kobold thief!
The kobold thief dodges beneath the *<=granite table=>*!
Weird joykill charges on all fours beneath the *<=granite table=>*, upsetting the diners!
The kobold thief runs into a wall!
The angry kodkod cancels eat *<*dwarven sugar biscuits*>*: interrupted by insane chase!
Kodkod the malevolent kicks weird joykill in the lower body, bruising the muscle, and buising the fat!
Weird joykill bangs head on the bottm of the *<=granite table=>*!
Weird joykill is stunned!
The kobold thief runs in circles thrashing a (copper dagger)!
Weird joykill crawls out from under the table.
Kodkod the malevolent kicks weird joykill in the buttocks, sending him flying!
The kobold thief claws desperately at the egg shell!
Weird joykill lands on an empty =microcline chair=, and tumbles in a heap!
The =microcline chair= tumbles to the ground!
Weird joykill stands up!
Weird joykill rushes at the kobold thief!
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 10:45:17 pm
Weird Joykill grabs the kobold by the throat!
The kobold slaps Weird Joykill in the face, stunning him!
The kobold escapes onto Splint's table!
Splint throws the kobold into a pile of mugs!
Post by: Kofthefens on April 18, 2012, 10:48:08 pm
Post by: Splint on April 18, 2012, 10:48:57 pm
Post by: nekronuke on April 18, 2012, 10:51:19 pm
Corai has canceled Wait Tables: Soup
Oh my soup is ready? Nekronuke I have your soup, wait a second....
Here you go. This is a superior quality Kobold Meat Soup, it contains finely minced Prickle Berries, and finely minced adamanite. Use a spoon.
why thank you. im so happy i didnt make you into soup with rainbow diamonds.
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 10:53:39 pm
Weird joykill slams =stoneware mug= down around the kobold thief, pinning it to the floor!
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 10:54:53 pm
The kobold thief jumps onto Weird Joykill's shoulders and stabs the shoulder!
The thief jumps into the Mug Pile, then gets mauled by Splint!
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 11:00:44 pm
Weird joykill collects a pigtail bag, and a copper bin from the furniture stockpile.
Weird joykill wraps his hands in the pigtail bag like an oven mitt.
The kobold thief breaks free of splint's grasp!
Weird joykill grabs the kobold thief with the bleeding gloved hand, and shoves it in the top of the copper bin, and slams the lid shut!
Weird joykill shakes the bin violently!
Post by: Talvieno on April 18, 2012, 11:01:38 pm
Somehow, I knew this was coming. I was humming it before the next tab even loaded.Weird joykill cancels sing: interrupted by kobold thief.
Weird joykill hurls (Giant ostritch egg) at the kobold thief!
The (Giant ostritch egg) collides with the kobold thief, enveloping the head!
The kobold thief is having difficulty breathing!
/cue a annoying chase scene until I collasp from running.
Obligatory. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnHmskwqCCQ)
And now we know. Wierd is a demon. A good demon, though. (aren't all demons good?) But ours doesn't make webs... Ours just produces aspirin, awesome methods of death and all the soap KodKod can eat.
Mmmmmmmmm, cocoa butter........
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 11:04:45 pm
Weird joykill bandages himself with pigtail socks from the stockpile.
Weird joykill collects a pigtail bag, and a copper bin from the furniture stockpile.
Weird joykill wraps his hands in the pigtail bag like an oven mitt.
The kobold thief breaks free of splint's grasp!
Weird joykill grabs the kobold thief with the bleeding gloved hand, and shoves it in the top of the copper bin, and slams the lid shut!
Weird joykill shakes the bin violently!
A loud, but somewhat cute scream deafens everyone in the room!
/inappropriate fighting that children are to young to read
I need a new dagger now, and brain bleach.
Post by: Splint on April 18, 2012, 11:05:53 pm
The Farmer has become enraged!
The farmer grabs the kobold thief by the copper dagger with his right hand.
Both struggle for possession!
The farmer gains posession of the copper daggger!
The farmer stabs the kobold thief in the leg, tearing the fat and tearing the muscle!
The farmer punches the kobold thief in the nose with his left hand, bruisng the skin, bruising the muscle and breaking the cartalige!
The kobold thief is propelled away by the force of the blow!
The kobold thief collides with a +Granite table+, toppleing the food, and upsetting the diners!
The farmer is no longer enraged.
Splint, Farmer, cancels kill kobold thief: Getting food.
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 11:07:50 pm
Weird joykill mutters obscenities about having to see gizogen for stitches....again.
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 11:09:17 pm
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 11:16:47 pm
On the item is an image of dwarves and a kobold in ropreed fiber cloth. The kobold is being chased. The artwork relates to the attempted creation of kobold-a-la-'range of the kobold thief corai unki by the mad demon dwarf weird joykill in the spring of 2012.
On the item is an image of a kobold in cat leather. The kobold is striking a menacing pose. The artowork relates to the savage wounding of the mad demon dwarf weird joykill during the attempted creation of the kobold-a-la-'range in the spring of 2012.
On the ite is an image of a copper dagger in honey beryl.
Post by: Talvieno on April 18, 2012, 11:22:08 pm
Post by: Corai on April 18, 2012, 11:23:07 pm
Question. We've never really discussed it... What would we do about forgotten beasts? We'd have to breach the caverns eventually.
Let my kobolds puncture it with arrows, then Steel-clad dwarves charge the bleeding monster.
Post by: MaximumZero on April 18, 2012, 11:27:29 pm
Question. We've never really discussed it... What would we do about forgotten beasts? We'd have to breach the caverns eventually.That's what I'm here for. Ladies and gentlemen...
MaximumZero, dwarven force of fury, has arrived!
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 11:27:58 pm
If it was an arthropod with a carapice, lots and lots of coarsely crushed glass mixed with barreled blood should be sprayed at it. This will cause the glass to stick to it, and get caught in the joints, tearing them up what good and bleeding it out before it can get very far.
If it has skin instead, "homebrew Rocket Propelled Grenade" made from iron pipe, gun cotton, and a nitro warhead.
Fire elemental? Bucket of water.
Water elemental? Raw hagfish excretions, followed by dwarven plaster.
Mineral elemental? (Depends on the mineral)
Post by: KodKod on April 18, 2012, 11:28:36 pm
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 11:31:16 pm
FB flavored gelatin... hmm... I wonder if corai would eat any?
Post by: Oliolli on April 18, 2012, 11:43:13 pm
nose
left eye
middle eye
right eye
left eye tooth
right eye tooth
heart
left upper arm
left upper leg
left lung
guts
At what point during all that pure WTF did KodKod take my guts? Seriously, she's getting so fast it's hard for me to notice it anymore.
Post by: KodKod on April 18, 2012, 11:47:51 pm
Post by: wierd on April 18, 2012, 11:50:53 pm
I offered to try to make him a darth vader suit, but when I said I was using corai as the voice actor for the suit, he said no.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 19, 2012, 12:15:00 am
HugoLuman exclaims "sic semper tyrannis!" and places a ++gneiss crown++ on KodKod's head.
BrospehStalin, what bones make me hear the voices?
*looks over Oliolli's mutilated, still living body* Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the means
Post by: wierd on April 19, 2012, 12:16:40 am
They need to be replaced with puddingstone simulants.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 19, 2012, 12:29:57 am
Post by: nekronuke on April 19, 2012, 01:15:56 am
Post by: MaximumZero on April 19, 2012, 01:23:41 am
Post by: WillowLuman on April 19, 2012, 01:35:53 am
Also, this cavern breaching is worrying. I recommend that we seal it back up until we create a system so incredibly complicated for dealing with it that it can't possibly fail.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 19, 2012, 01:44:58 am
...I really need to spend more time writing my essays than goofing off...
Post by: Fen on April 19, 2012, 02:03:30 am
U U
U
k
This is an engraving of Humans, Weird Joykill the human, and Corai the kobold in serpentine. The humans are dining. the humans are screaming. Weird Joykill the human is chasing Corai the kobold. Corai the kobold is wearing a giant ostrich egg. Corai the kobold is fleeing.
It's times like these that we need to keep close to our hearts and preserve for future generations.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 19, 2012, 02:19:38 am
Dwarven drop pods, in giant ostrich eggs.
Or we launch their eggs into a siege haphazardly after drilling many holes in them and filling them with leather pouches of corrosive chemicals and some glass fragments to bust the leather. Or explosives. They'd make rather nice mass-produced projectiles I'd imagine. Already spherical enough to proclaim them accurate, with a hollow center we can drain of fluids and replace with anything. Virtually no actual labor going into producing the projectile itself.
Post by: Gizogin on April 19, 2012, 06:41:55 am
The only really important thing I wanted to say was that I'm currently making a war hammer. Really, I'm just designing it; one of the courses I'm enrolled in grants me access to this really cool 3D modeling software for about six months (from the start of the course), and I'm using it in my free time to make a model of Vol, "Sound," (the name had to change when I learned there's no dwarven word for "song") the war hammer used by Cog Wrathhammer. If you don't know who Cog Wrathhammer is, the link in my sig (not the fluffball one) leads to my full sig, which has some links to Cog's adventures.
Spoiler: Vol, "Sound," a steel war hammer (click to show/hide)
I'll be able to get some pictures of it later today, if anyone's interested.
EDIT: Oh, didn't see you there Oliolli. I could Darth-Vader you up, if you'd be interested. I can 100% promise you that the voice will not be to your hating.
Post by: Oliolli on April 19, 2012, 07:51:46 am
You barely function anymore Oliolli, it's a surprise that you notice at all. We've had to designed people as vulture-beaters just to keep the scavengers from pecking at you.
My eyes may be injured, but it doesn't mean I'm blind. Regarding the vultures, let them take a bite out of me and they'll keep away. Oliollis taste (based on recurring testing done on different carnivores) extremely bad. Vultures, maggots and rats escape after tasting Oliolli meat, bears and wolves learn to speak and start crying for their mothers and lions tend to die of shock.
He's basically a nervous system in a trash can now.
I offered to try to make him a darth vader suit, but when I said I was using corai as the voice actor for the suit, he said no.
What I can't understand is why you won't let me be the voice actor!
It's times like these that we need to keep close to our hearts and preserve for future generations.
I would keep close to my heart if I knew where KodKod put it.
Or we launch their eggs into a siege haphazardly after drilling many holes in them and filling them with leather pouches of corrosive chemicals and some glass fragments to bust the leather. Or explosives. They'd make rather nice mass-produced projectiles I'd imagine. Already spherical enough to proclaim them accurate, with a hollow center we can drain of fluids and replace with anything. Virtually no actual labor going into producing the projectile itself.
Or we could fill them with napalm and some sort of ignition. Think of the possibilities!
Spoiler: How about... (click to show/hide)
EDIT: Oh, didn't see you there Oliolli. I could Darth-Vader you up, if you'd be interested. I can 100% promise you that the voice will not be to your hating.
Wait a few more days and the easiest course of action will be to remove my brain, place it in a glass jar and link it up with a robotic body. Stephen Hawking -voice. Think you can do that?
Post by: Gizogin on April 19, 2012, 08:38:48 am
Wait a few more days and the easiest course of action will be to remove my brain, place it in a glass jar and link it up with a robotic body. Stephen Hawking -voice. Think you can do that?
I'll get right to work and let you know as soon as I have anything viable.
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 19, 2012, 09:14:10 am
Orky_Boss has begun working on a mysterious construction!
Post by: Skyrunner on April 19, 2012, 02:39:19 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 19, 2012, 02:41:54 pm
This! Is! Actually rather tame, all things considered. These forums have certainly mass-produced insanity on a greater scale at points.
Post by: Gizogin on April 19, 2012, 02:43:24 pm
Spoiler: Not at all related to this thread (click to show/hide)
On topic: Oliolli's robotic body is coming along right on schedule. So far, I've only hit one minor snag: I don't know anything about robotics. Sure, I've messed around with LEGO Mindstorms and VEX, but they're hardly comparable to a full-size cyberman. I can do life-support, which is nearly finished, but it takes up a lot of space. That's not my fault; it takes some complex machinery to take over for every vital organ in the body (electronic organs would be better, and smaller, but my knowledge of electricity and magnetism leaves much to be desired). Also, it has no senses or movement.
Post by: Skyrunner on April 19, 2012, 02:47:11 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 19, 2012, 02:49:38 pm
Post by: Skyrunner on April 19, 2012, 02:52:31 pm
I understand now. o_o Everything's so clear.
Post by: KodKod on April 19, 2012, 03:00:43 pm
Everything's so clear.
Do not be so confident, it will be the death of you. Spring water is clear too, until you wash away the blood and grime that slowly build up over the harsh lifetime of those entombed within a fortress, caked onto the clothing and skin of the populace.
Understanding and rationalisation also then can become obfuscated by the wear that takes place not on the body, but upon a mind under such pressures. It builds up and up over the years like dust clinging to a surface and, lacking a way to truly cleanse that part of you, you will never know that you’ve snapped until it has already happened.
What I'm trying to say is: Every time is crazy time.
Post by: Splint on April 19, 2012, 03:33:52 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on April 19, 2012, 03:38:55 pm
Never suspect the ostrich inquisition.
Post by: Splint on April 19, 2012, 03:41:10 pm
Post by: wierd on April 19, 2012, 04:23:12 pm
Concerning your hammerhead model.... I have completely unrestricted access to a CATIA seat here at work. If you can't quite iron out why your model is breaking your creo elements/pro seat, you could always send me a doodle with your key dimensions on it, and I could send you back a step file or something.
I model stuff on my catia seat all the time. Made an obsidian arrowhead once.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Gizogin on April 19, 2012, 05:16:01 pm
Gizogen:
Concerning your hammerhead model.... I have completely unrestricted access to a CATIA seat here at work. If you can't quite iron out why your model is breaking your creo elements/pro seat, you could always send me a doodle with your key dimensions on it, and I could send you back a step file or something.
I model stuff on my catia seat all the time. Made an obsidian arrowhead once.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
That's pretty sweet, wierd.
I'm pretty sure what I did wrong with my first attempt. When I was making the handle (I did the whole hammer as a single part file last time), I did some really bizarre stuff with the dimensioning. I had some useless constraints, random reference lines, and leftovers from previous shapes I'd been messing with. Something in that hideous mess must have broken it.
This time, since I know exactly what shape I want, I'm going to make the handle properly. I'm also going to make the head, handle, and grip separately, for a couple of reasons. First, I learned today that Creo can actually assign materials to different parts, so if I make them as individual pieces, I can easily make each one out of the material I want. Second, it saves me having to redo the whole thing (again) if something breaks.
EDIT:
Spoiler: A quick gear I made for fun (click to show/hide)
Gizogin's post is confusing me o_o up to where is reality and where is fiction?!
Everything I say is the truth. Except when it's false.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 19, 2012, 06:04:40 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on April 19, 2012, 07:54:47 pm
If only I could find someone that understood both scripting and modelling... My TES modding projects would be unstoppable!
Post by: wierd on April 19, 2012, 07:59:53 pm
I am fluent in morrowind and oblivion script. Haven't touched skyrim at all yet though.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 19, 2012, 08:06:13 pm
I'm currently working on two separate things intermitently (i.e whenever I get bored of working on one or have a really cool idea that MUST HAPPEN NOW); a 'dwemer caverns' mod that involves massive caverns and dwemer dungeons, similar to Blackreach, and a model of the continent of Atmora, which has barely started and I curse extra hard for because I really want to use the terrain editor.
Post by: Corai on April 19, 2012, 08:53:03 pm
YES.
Post by: MrButtchicker on April 19, 2012, 09:06:03 pm
Urist McButtchicker takes over a metalsmith's forge!
Urist McMetalsmith cancels action: Make copper pick axe
Urist McMetalsmith is fighting!
Urist McMiner Cannot preform action: Mine
Urist McMiner needs a pick!
Urist McMetalsmith Was hammered!
Urist McMiner went stark raving mad!
Urist McButtchicker has finished Fus Do Rah, a legendary adamtine pickaxe!
U mad bro(s)
Post by: Corai on April 19, 2012, 09:07:30 pm
Urist McButtchicker withdraws from society...
Urist McButtchicker takes over a metalsmith's forge!
Urist McMetalsmith cancels action: Make copper pick axe
Urist McMetalsmith is fighting!
Urist McMiner Cannot preform action: Mine
Urist McMiner needs a pick!
Urist McMetalsmith Was hammered!
Urist McMiner went stark raving mad!
Urist McButtchicker has finished Fus Do Rah, a legendary adamtine pickaxe!
U mad bro(s)
Fus Do Rah has been stolen!
U mad bro?
Post by: WillowLuman on April 19, 2012, 09:08:21 pm
Oblivion and skyrim. Skyrim requires a metric ass load of time to do terrain though because the dumbasses at Bethesda decided to shut out their own terrain editor, yet mysteriously leave it in the CS, and the methods of getting world-scale terrain edits in is too horrendously complex for me to even begin on it at the moment. All I can do is fly around with the brush and cuss whenever I accidentally unload the cell I was trying to work on, or the CS crashes.
I'm currently working on two separate things intermitently (i.e whenever I get bored of working on one or have a really cool idea that MUST HAPPEN NOW); a 'dwemer caverns' mod that involves massive caverns and dwemer dungeons, similar to Blackreach, and a model of the continent of Atmora, which has barely started and I curse extra hard for because I really want to use the terrain editor.
Been itching to try the skyrim editor (my comp that has it broke down), before it was released Bethesda kept going on about how easy to use and powerful it is. Now it turns out it sucks?
Post by: Eric Blank on April 19, 2012, 09:27:51 pm
Fus Do Rah, a legendary adamtine pickaxe!I don't think we want to forcefully push any does, especially not with an adamantine pickaxe... That could get messy. :P
U mad bro(s)
The kobold reads the "Town Forum" and sees "kobold droppods"
YES.
Happy to get back in the egg you came from?
Hmm, I wonder if kobolds would look at ostrich egg drop pod warriors like cowardly babies...
Been itching to try the skyrim editor (my comp that has it broke down), before it was released Bethesda kept going on about how easy to use and powerful it is. Now it turns out it sucks?
I wouldn't say sucks it overall, at least not too much more than the old TES:CS, but the features they added/fixed don't quite make up for what they broke. For instance it's much harder to do terrain editing without purchasing photoshop and all the other crap necessary to get your greyscale images into an .esp you write with a 3rd party program (because despite what they say the import/export and save functions of the terrain editor don't work either...), so they basically prevented us from being able to develope large new-worlds projects without busting our asses just to get started, while there's the advantage from combining flora and trees into the same category and using .nif models and .dds textures for the trees instead of forcing you to pay big damn money for speedtreeCAD just to switch textures or develop new models. I haven't looked at the possiblities for developing in-game non-book-image maps for new worldspaces (like the basic game map), but I imagine the morons still didn't fix the problems with that/made them much worse or impossible to accomplish when converting it to a 3d thing instead of Oblivion's 2d map. I actually got one to show up in Oblivion through the use of some Hex editor magic, but map markers/your location marker on new maps never seemed to work.
There's some new possibilites for screwing with secondary game settings/magic/skills, at least.
I also wanted to come up with a way to implement the old athletics/acrobatics skills through scripting in new skills, becuase I enjoyed outrunning people riding black horses/making spells that allowed me to jump 30k feet into the air in Oblivion :P
Post by: Corai on April 19, 2012, 09:29:20 pm
If one survives being dropped a few hundred feet and takes down something big, then there a god to the tribe.
Post by: Callista on April 19, 2012, 09:30:53 pm
Ah 3d modelling. The most time-consuming thing I have ever attempted. One day, blender! One day you shall be conquered!Good luck with that one. I can do blueprint drawing, like with SketchUp, but that's about it. I've tried to make stuff for Sims 2, and I always ended up with exploding meshes and random holes and everything randomly glitching into everything else. But you'll have my respect if you manage it.
Post by: wierd on April 19, 2012, 09:34:57 pm
You would need a way to stick the script to the player character though.
Post by: Gizogin on April 19, 2012, 09:42:00 pm
If a kobold kills a ladybug its a hero.
If one survives being dropped a few hundred feet and takes down something big, then there a god to the tribe.
Corai found a ladybird!
It was level 99
Corai was hideously mauled by the ladybird
Post by: KodKod on April 19, 2012, 09:42:54 pm
Corai found a ladybird!
It was level 99
Corai washideouslyhilariously mauled by the ladybird
Amended.
Post by: Corai on April 19, 2012, 09:50:03 pm
Corai found a ladybird!
It was level 99
Corai washideouslyimpossibly hilariously mauled by the ladybird
Amended.
VETO'D.
Post by: Gizogin on April 19, 2012, 09:59:01 pm
Corai found a ladybird!
It was level 99
Corai washideouslyhilariously mauled by the ladybird
Amended.
Thank you, KodKod. Clearly, that was an unintentional typo on my part, and I'm glad you caught it.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 19, 2012, 10:45:41 pm
-snip-So to make new land, we now have to draw up a greyscale heightmap and import it? Damn, TES was the ONE GAME that didn't do that to modders.
Corai, try a silver spear. They seem to be lucky for kobolds.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 19, 2012, 11:14:53 pm
-snip-So to make new land, we now have to draw up a greyscale heightmap and import it? Damn, TES was the ONE GAME that didn't do that to modders.
Well, you can do it in the in-CS 3d view terrain editor, just not with the world-scale heightmap editor. Sorry, should have used 'heightmap editor' in the first place. You can still float around and drag on terrain. Who knows; perhaps the regions function still works too... It takes 4-5 hours to make one tiny section with the 3d view terrain morphs, unfortunately.
Post by: wierd on April 19, 2012, 11:29:29 pm
-snip-So to make new land, we now have to draw up a greyscale heightmap and import it? Damn, TES was the ONE GAME that didn't do that to modders.
Well, you can do it in the in-CS 3d view terrain editor, just not with the world-scale heightmap editor. Sorry, should have used 'heightmap editor' in the first place. You can still float around and drag on terrain. Who knows; perhaps the regions function still works too... It takes 4-5 hours to make one tiny section with the 3d view terrain morphs, unfortunately.
I don't normally promote the 5 finger discount on software, but old bryce 5 from the mid 90s works great for making height maps. Has options to simulate erosion and all sorts of fun.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 19, 2012, 11:49:06 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on April 20, 2012, 12:05:01 am
I don't normally promote the 5 finger discount on software, but old bryce 5 from the mid 90s works great for making height maps. Has options to simulate erosion and all sorts of fun.
Creating the greyscale images for the heightmap is pretty simple, actually, and there are a ton of ways to go about doing that. It's converting it for and getting it into the Skyrim CS that's a challenge. I think it's likely that modders will get fed up enough that someody will come up with an easier work-around. There's hope at least...
I actually intend to look into using Oblivion's TES:CS to produce the heightmaps, and see if the .esp can then be used in the Skyrim CS.
Wonder if we could rig something up to DF to turn worldgen data into height maps...
That is absolutely genius. DF does have the option to export an elevation map, luckily. There'd have to be some way to ensure that other games can then take advantage of this heightmap, though... A program that analyzes these heighmaps and produces an .esp (for TES games, at least. You certainly couldn't easily do that for Source-based games.) based on the data would be amazing!
Post by: MrButtchicker on April 20, 2012, 12:10:10 am
I don't normally promote the 5 finger discount on software, but old bryce 5 from the mid 90s works great for making height maps. Has options to simulate erosion and all sorts of fun.
Creating the greyscale images for the heightmap is pretty simple, actually, and there are a ton of ways to go about doing that. It's converting it for and getting it into the Skyrim CS that's a challenge. I think it's likely that modders will get fed up enough that someody will come up with an easier work-around. There's hope at least...
I actually intend to look into using Oblivion's TES:CS to produce the heightmaps, and see if the .esp can then be used in the Skyrim CS.Wonder if we could rig something up to DF to turn worldgen data into height maps...
That is absolutely genius. DF does have the option to export an elevation map, luckily. There'd have to be some way to ensure that other games can then take advantage of this heightmap, though... A program that analyzes these heighmaps and produces an .esp (for TES games, at least. You certainly couldn't easily do that for Source-based games.) based on the data would be amazing!
How did this come up? When this actually happens, you people talking about this will be the first of the furnace operators. And I will be the monarch for restoring peace to society.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 20, 2012, 12:11:46 am
Post by: wierd on April 20, 2012, 12:17:20 am
I am working in the dark here, as I don't have skyrim or the CS for it.
I do know that the esp data between versions is not conserved. They have different data structures.
I refuse to buy the game, for specific reasons I won't mention, unless it is second hand, and dirt cheap. (Bethesda shit in my cheerios, essentially.)
I might see if I can use the CS as a stand alone without the main game datafiles though, just to experiment with how to get heightmap data in and out.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 20, 2012, 12:26:44 am
Quite right.
I am working in the dark here, as I don't have skyrim or the CS for it.
I do know that the esp data between versions is not conserved. They have different data structures.
I refuse to buy the game, for specific reasons I won't mention, unless it is second hand, and dirt cheap. (Bethesda shit in my cheerios, essentially.)
I might see if I can use the CS as a stand alone without the main game datafiles though, just to experiment with how to get heightmap data in and out.
They went all EA on our asses with how they distributed Skyrim. Not cool, but I had already preordered. It was fun while it lasted, though (until my comp broke down).
EDIT: Wow, a whole day and no posts?
Post by: Eric Blank on April 20, 2012, 10:33:07 pm
If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall... It would die of FPS poisoning.
Post by: wierd on April 20, 2012, 10:38:19 pm
I designed a simple to construct modular solar cooker. :)
Sadly, I can't push any data about it on this post, since its on a thumbdrive, and I am posting from a phone at work.
So, instead I will describe it, because it is pure genius in simplicity!
What is it:
A solar cooker, made from 5 sections, rivetted together.
What so special about it:
It is designed to use flat stock! Most people have a very hard time getting a parabolic curvature for the cooker. This design was engineered digitally, and has 11 rivets in each segment. Each segment has 22 holes. This allows each segment to be rivetted to 2 others, completing a circular pattern with 5 segments.
The kicker, is that for the rivet pattern to line up, it can't be flat! It has no choice but to become parabolic as a result of the rivets going in!
Genius!
I made a version previously out of flimsy cardstock using plain old spray adhesive and tinfoil. It is ugly as sin, is not terribly well made (jeeze, its cardboard people! Lol!) But tests earlier today had a 10 deg F increase in temp at the focal point. Not bad for wobbly, inaccurate papercrafts!
Here's a picture of "papercraft beta version"
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: KodKod on April 20, 2012, 10:41:47 pm
The real question is, is this thing more or less effective at cooking than say... fire?
Post by: wierd on April 20, 2012, 10:44:14 pm
Yup! :D
If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall... It would die of FPS poisoning.
I just had a real life strange mood! Is that so wrong!?
Kodkod:
That is a cardboard beta. Its not nearly effective enough. It was a test of concept, nothing more.
This weekend will see the sheetmetal and rivet version created. Engineering FTW! Whee!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 20, 2012, 10:49:37 pm
Now, the question is could be produce it in the Twelfth Bay?
Post by: Corai on April 20, 2012, 10:51:00 pm
And ironically, I cant draw a kobold without having the ear be the left side of the body.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 20, 2012, 10:52:20 pm
I just had a real life strange mood! Is that so wrong!?
Only if "incredibly dwarfy" is wrong!
Post by: Talvieno on April 20, 2012, 10:52:28 pm
I don't normally promote the 5 finger discount on software, but old bryce 5 from the mid 90s works great for making height maps. Has options to simulate erosion and all sorts of fun.
Creating the greyscale images for the heightmap is pretty simple, actually, and there are a ton of ways to go about doing that. It's converting it for and getting it into the Skyrim CS that's a challenge. I think it's likely that modders will get fed up enough that someody will come up with an easier work-around. There's hope at least...
I actually intend to look into using Oblivion's TES:CS to produce the heightmaps, and see if the .esp can then be used in the Skyrim CS.Wonder if we could rig something up to DF to turn worldgen data into height maps...
That is absolutely genius. DF does have the option to export an elevation map, luckily. There'd have to be some way to ensure that other games can then take advantage of this heightmap, though... A program that analyzes these heighmaps and produces an .esp (for TES games, at least. You certainly couldn't easily do that for Source-based games.) based on the data would be amazing!
How did this come up? When this actually happens, you people talking about this will be the first of the furnace operators. And I will be the monarch for restoring peace to society.
It's called "On Break". They're in the dining room. Or statue garden - one or the other.
Post by: gzoker on April 20, 2012, 10:54:42 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on April 20, 2012, 10:56:23 pm
And don't talk about throwing all the insane people to the furnaces, or else we'll be furnace operators all. Except you, the self proclaimed monarch.
That is, if you think you could make us. Don't make me go Nac Macfeegle on you! Nae King! Nae Queen! Nae laird! Nae masterrr! There ca' on'li be one 'tousand!
Post by: wierd on April 20, 2012, 10:58:28 pm
I will test it for that when I get home!
Not as robust as the one I built for a friend a few years back though.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
(That's a USB port in the middle. :) )
(It gets a reliable 20dbi directional gain! My friend uses it to get wifi from next door. Before that we tested reliability with a cheap belkin wifi dongle. Over 500 meters through a wall and foliage! Booya! Lol)
Post by: Eric Blank on April 20, 2012, 11:06:01 pm
Post by: wierd on April 20, 2012, 11:09:26 pm
(Or just catch things on fire.)
The shoddy paper beta was sufficiently successful, despite inferior materials, to warrant further testing.
If I can get it working, I will release the segment PDF blueprint.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 20, 2012, 11:09:35 pm
We'd need radios.There would be no one to listen but us. And we'd need to build an above ground tower in order to broadcast/recieve. The bunker-like nature of our fort would block signals.
Though I have the strangest feeling we'd pick up disturbing and strange noises if we turned on a radio, picking up signals emanating from far below.
Post by: Corai on April 20, 2012, 11:11:40 pm
We'd need radios.There would be no one to listen but us. And we'd need to build an above ground tower in order to broadcast/recieve. The bunker-like nature of our fort would block signals.
Though I have the strangest feeling we'd pick up disturbing and strange noises if we turned on a radio, picking up signals emanating from far below.
I vote we do this and track down these forces, raise a small army of kobolds and re-taught elves (cause both are expendable) and have them cleanse the caverns.
Yes, I just suggested to put my kobolds in death's way. No problem bro?
Post by: wierd on April 20, 2012, 11:13:14 pm
LOL!
Post by: gzoker on April 20, 2012, 11:14:46 pm
You could build a seismic radio with caveins....
Post by: wierd on April 20, 2012, 11:18:50 pm
At 14in diameter, it won't concentrate enough to heat a big pan.
(I am limited by what size template my consumer grade printer can poop out.)
The design could be scaled up for a much larger dish though. If someone wanted to print it on a plotter at 500% size or something, they could easily catch wet meat on fire.
WHEEEEEEE! (http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CCoQtwIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DTtzRAjW6KO0&ei=zTWST7fCKJLo2gXGtu2OBQ&usg=AFQjCNEeefutttM2JRAvmWrVCpJJQetCQQ)
Post by: WillowLuman on April 20, 2012, 11:33:10 pm
Only, if it rains or someone chucks a rock in, the whole thing is ruined.
Post by: wierd on April 20, 2012, 11:39:17 pm
This is because the focal point of the parobola is fixed. You have to re-bend the light into a straight path very near/at the focal point with a lens fitted to that parobola, and then aim the straightened light beam.
But wherever you shone it, it would make burny doom! Wheeee!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 20, 2012, 11:48:10 pm
Not only that, but to aim it would require a very precisely ground crystal glass lens, a rotary aming mirror, and a remote actuated armature. (I'll be damned if I'm gonna be aiming the mirror by hand!)Alternately, it could be rigged to produce a solar smelter.
This is because the focal point of the parobola is fixed. You have to re-bend the light into a straight path very near/at the focal point with a lens fitted to that parobola, and then aim the straightened light beam.
But wherever you shone it, it would make burny doom! Wheeee!
Post by: Corai on April 20, 2012, 11:48:53 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on April 20, 2012, 11:50:53 pm
Post by: Cellmonk on April 20, 2012, 11:51:31 pm
Post by: Gizogin on April 21, 2012, 12:33:55 am
Post by: Cellmonk on April 21, 2012, 12:38:34 am
Post by: wierd on April 21, 2012, 01:18:54 am
Impulse buy in progress... I will cardweave something this weekend too!
I am thinking I will make a dwarf fortress themed badge lanyard. They had embroidery floss! *squee* (in retrospect, this is probably why my family thinks I am gay. Oh well.)
As for solar death ray, re lasers...
Not quite. Directed energy, yes. Laser, no. No avalanched photon emissions, so not a laser.
Post by: Oliolli on April 21, 2012, 01:40:50 am
THE RAILS ARE BEING REMOVED, SOMEONE REPLACE THEM!I have sold the rails so that wierd can afford embroidery floss! DO NOT REPLACE THEM, IT WOULD COST TOO MUCH!
Gizogin, how is the mechanical chassis coming up?
If it boils down to it, I'll rather have a clockwork-chassis then a steampowered one.
Post by: Fen on April 21, 2012, 10:03:19 am
======
This is an engraving of rails by Fen. The rails are flying through the air. This relates to the conversations that take place at the Twelfth Bay.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 21, 2012, 11:59:13 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTsvwBkVdKw
Post by: Gizogin on April 21, 2012, 04:06:57 pm
We don't need lasers when we have concentrated solar beams.THE RAILS ARE BEING REMOVED, SOMEONE REPLACE THEM!I have sold the rails so that wierd can afford embroidery floss! DO NOT REPLACE THEM, IT WOULD COST TOO MUCH!
Gizogin, how is the mechanical chassis coming up?
If it boils down to it, I'll rather have a clockwork-chassis then a steampowered one.
Spoiler: Something like this? (click to show/hide)
Well, progress is slow but definite. You can probably expect it to be finished within the month. I'll have to go over the instructions and everything with you as it nears completion; there are a few quirks to it that you'll need to be prepared for.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 21, 2012, 04:31:15 pm
Post by: Gizogin on April 21, 2012, 05:09:40 pm
In that body, he could then harvest our organs to repair various machines around the fortress. Say, it might be more suited for your OWN new body...
You make a fair point, but then there's the fact that I could be temporarily disabled by a drink.
Post by: Corai on April 21, 2012, 05:39:10 pm
In that body, he could then harvest our organs to repair various machines around the fortress. Say, it might be more suited for your OWN new body...
You make a fair point, but then there's the fact that I could be temporarily disabled by a drink.
Drink, eh?
Gizogin has been struck down, ale in circuits!
:D
Post by: WillowLuman on April 21, 2012, 08:08:53 pm
Gizogin has short circuited
Post by: Corai on April 21, 2012, 08:12:10 pm
........Its dinner-time, anyone want me to make them TOTALLY NOT POISONED raven roasts, topped off with dwarven syrup, finely minced Cow Cheese, with sugar on the side, with a hardy drink of Dwarven Ale?
Post by: nekronuke on April 21, 2012, 08:15:43 pm
Post by: Corai on April 21, 2012, 08:18:18 pm
Sorry, im in the mood for plump helmet biscuits... wait, we have no farmers!
Eat your roast. >.>
Post by: Fen on April 21, 2012, 08:47:23 pm
Sorry, im in the mood for plump helmet biscuits... wait, we have no farmers!
Eat your roast. >.>
We have farmers, just not all that many. Also the dwarven
Post by: Corai on April 21, 2012, 08:48:59 pm
Sorry, im in the mood for plump helmet biscuits... wait, we have no farmers!
Eat your roast. >.>
We have farmers, just not all that many. Also the dwarvenslavesFortmates help with that.
You, eat your roast. You DO NOT want to know what I did to steal that sugar, why goblins make sugar I dont know.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 21, 2012, 08:52:27 pm
They sprinkle it on babies before they eat them. The ones they keep to raise are fed only on sugar and human flesh, which is extremely unhealthy. This shows that they are determined to be evil in all thingsSorry, im in the mood for plump helmet biscuits... wait, we have no farmers!
Eat your roast. >.>
We have farmers, just not all that many. Also the dwarvenslavesFortmates help with that.
You, eat your roast. You DO NOT want to know what I did to steal that sugar, why goblins make sugar I dont know.
Post by: Corai on April 21, 2012, 08:54:06 pm
They sprinkle it on babies before they eat them. The ones they keep to raise are fed only on sugar and human flesh, which is extremely unhealthy. This shows that they are determined to be evil in all thingsSorry, im in the mood for plump helmet biscuits... wait, we have no farmers!
Eat your roast. >.>
We have farmers, just not all that many. Also the dwarvenslavesFortmates help with that.
You, eat your roast. You DO NOT want to know what I did to steal that sugar, why goblins make sugar I dont know.
Kobold cancels make roasts, vomiting.
Post by: Fen on April 21, 2012, 10:01:58 pm
They sprinkle it on babies before they eat them. The ones they keep to raise are fed only on sugar and human flesh, which is extremely unhealthy. This shows that they are determined to be evil in all thingsSorry, im in the mood for plump helmet biscuits... wait, we have no farmers!
Eat your roast. >.>
We have farmers, just not all that many. Also the dwarvenslavesFortmates help with that.
You, eat your roast. You DO NOT want to know what I did to steal that sugar, why goblins make sugar I dont know.
Kobold cancels make roasts, vomiting.
Fen, Kobold Engraver cancels engrave meal, disgusted by vomit.
Post by: Corai on April 21, 2012, 10:05:34 pm
They sprinkle it on babies before they eat them. The ones they keep to raise are fed only on sugar and human flesh, which is extremely unhealthy. This shows that they are determined to be evil in all thingsSorry, im in the mood for plump helmet biscuits... wait, we have no farmers!
Eat your roast. >.>
We have farmers, just not all that many. Also the dwarvenslavesFortmates help with that.
You, eat your roast. You DO NOT want to know what I did to steal that sugar, why goblins make sugar I dont know.
Kobold cancels make roasts, vomiting.
Fen, Kobold Engraver cancels engrave meal, disgusted by vomit.
Oh god....that was digusting.....
Post by: nekronuke on April 21, 2012, 10:07:40 pm
This is a Masterfully carved rendition of Corai and Fen in Kobold Vomit. Corai is vomiting. Fen is vomiting. This is in relation to the vomiting of Corai and Fen in the dining hall of The Twelfth Bay
Post by: Corai on April 21, 2012, 10:09:34 pm
C'mon....go melancholy....C'mon......GO MELANCHOLY!
Post by: nekronuke on April 21, 2012, 10:12:41 pm
GO MELANCHOLY! GOOOO MELANCHOLY *slowly closing in on Corai*
Post by: Corai on April 21, 2012, 10:13:48 pm
Que corny chase scene that ends with Nekronuke with a roast in his face.
Post by: nekronuke on April 21, 2012, 10:15:38 pm
A fell mood? I THOUGHT DWARVES COULD ONLY HAVE ONE IN THERE LIFE!
Que corny chase scene that ends with Nekronuke with a roast in his face.
Nekronuke cancels Fell mood, Struck by roast
The spinning Roast strikes Nekronuke in the chest, bruising the fat!
Magical, mood altering sugar in this roast!
Post by: Corai on April 21, 2012, 10:17:40 pm
Post by: nekronuke on April 21, 2012, 10:21:31 pm
Yay. I have survived four Fell Moods now!
Four? who all have you drugged >_>
Post by: Corai on April 21, 2012, 10:23:35 pm
Yay. I have survived four Fell Moods now!
Four? who all have you drugged >_>
..........Maybe.......
The kobold kicks a bag of toxins and poisons inside a Rope-reed hammock.
Post by: nekronuke on April 21, 2012, 10:40:08 pm
Yay. I have survived four Fell Moods now!
Four? who all have you drugged >_>
..........Maybe.......
The kobold kicks a bag of toxins and poisons inside a Rope-reed hammock.
Whats in there? *presses k*
Post by: Corai on April 21, 2012, 10:40:52 pm
Yay. I have survived four Fell Moods now!
Four? who all have you drugged >_>
..........Maybe.......
The kobold kicks a bag of toxins and poisons inside a Rope-reed hammock.
Whats in there? *presses k*
/hide
Post by: Skyrunner on April 21, 2012, 11:18:06 pm
Post by: Corai on April 21, 2012, 11:19:40 pm
*hauls Corai to the nearestgarbage zonequantum stockpile*
Skyrunner cancels haul, kobold thief!
ILL STAB YOU!
Post by: Skyrunner on April 21, 2012, 11:22:06 pm
You forget I am an accomplished biologist, thief!
(Assuming professors are Legendary.)
Post by: Corai on April 21, 2012, 11:23:21 pm
Skyrunner bashes Corai, kobold theif in the head with a =mitochondria=, bruising the brain!
You forget I am an accomplished biologist, thief!
(Assuming professors are Legendary.)
FHDHFDHJDFJGDFJHDFJHDFHDFSJH im back.
Noone on this thread dies, or atleast never got bugged by it.
.....Want a raven roast?
Post by: KodKod on April 21, 2012, 11:31:52 pm
Post by: Skyrunner on April 21, 2012, 11:32:46 pm
Do dorfs die of bruised brains? o_o
*throws mitochondria at KodKod*
Post by: Corai on April 21, 2012, 11:35:04 pm
I didn't expect you to die of bruised brainness :P
Do dorfs die of bruised brains? o_o
*throws mitochondria at KodKod*
For a kobold, bruised = torn.
FREE RAVEN ROASTS! I RAN OUT OF POISONS SO THERE SAFE TO EAT! MAGICAL FELL-MOOD CURING SUGAR COATING!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 21, 2012, 11:35:24 pm
HugoLuman gestures! The +granite throne+ shudders and begins to move!
The raven roast shudders and begins to move!
The Twelfth Bay has gone Stark Raving Mad!
Post by: KodKod on April 21, 2012, 11:37:57 pm
*throws mitochondria at KodKod*
I would advise against doing so. It is not wise to incur the wrath of Empress KodKod.
Post by: Corai on April 21, 2012, 11:39:05 pm
*throws mitochondria at KodKod*
I would advise against doing so. It is not wise to incur the wrath of Goddess-Empress KodKod.
I fixed it for you my lady.
Post by: Skyrunner on April 21, 2012, 11:43:10 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 21, 2012, 11:48:34 pm
And since when were you Auric Goldfinger?
Post by: Corai on April 21, 2012, 11:50:59 pm
Heheheheh......
Post by: Oliolli on April 22, 2012, 12:24:38 am
I didn't expect you to die of bruised brainness :P
Do dorfs die of bruised brains? o_o
Yes, they do. Denting the brain, however, is not lethal. Just extremely rare.
*throws mitochondria at KodKod*
I would advise against doing so. It is not wise to incur the wrath of Goddess-Empress KodKod.
Trust her. She can get violent when mad.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The Twelfth Bay has gone Stark Raving Mad!
The spinning Stark Raving Mad strikes HugoLuman in the right eye, bruising it!
Post by: Corai on April 22, 2012, 12:30:14 am
What would you like?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: nekronuke on April 22, 2012, 01:30:12 am
Oliolli, welcome! I opened a Roast Shop!
What would you like?Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I don't see thief stew on the menu... do you have any goblin or kobold roast?
Post by: WillowLuman on April 22, 2012, 01:51:39 am
Oh no! I have been injured in some small way! NOOOO!The Twelfth Bay has gone Stark Raving Mad!
The spinning Stark Raving Mad strikes HugoLuman in the right eye, bruising it!
HugoLuman regenerates into John Simm!
In 2012 HugoLuman learned the secrets of stark raving madness.
HugoLuman gestures! The dwarven wine shudders and begins to move!
Post by: Corai on April 22, 2012, 01:55:05 am
Oliolli, welcome! I opened a Roast Shop!
What would you like?Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I don't see thief stew on the menu... do you have any goblin or kobold roast?
Gasp!
You dare suggest we sell sentient forms of food? Never! Not in a thousand years!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: WillowLuman on April 22, 2012, 02:05:47 am
Post by: nekronuke on April 22, 2012, 02:51:58 am
Which is of course a joint business operation by elves and goblins.
you gotta do what you gotta do. and man, this craving for goblin's got me near berserk, man.
Post by: runlvlzero on April 22, 2012, 02:59:18 am
Which is of course a joint business operation by elves and goblins.
Endorsed and subsidized through your taxes whole heartedly by the cat party...
Post by: Fen on April 22, 2012, 03:10:27 am
Engraving Reader has canceled read engraving: Went insane
This is what I imagine our fort will be like to outsiders. They just won't be able to handle even looking at it for more than a couple minutes at a time.
Post by: miauw62 on April 22, 2012, 03:14:32 am
There is an engraving of the human/dwarf/kobold fortress The Twelfth Bay in Serpentine here. Depicted is humans, dwarves, and kobolds. The inhabitants are performing acts of !!SCIENCE!!, debauchery, cannibalism, and unspeakable horrors. The fortress is unimaginably complex. It is larger on the inside. Visitors are arriving. The visitors are going insane. The insane visitors are being harnessed for reusable energy. There are D
Engraving Reader has canceled read engraving: Went insane
This is what I imagine our fort will be like to outsiders. They just won't be able to handle even looking at it for more than a couple minutes at a time.
Mh, tell us something we dont know yet.
Post by: Oliolli on April 22, 2012, 05:14:57 am
Oliolli, welcome! I opened a Roast Shop!
What would you like?
I haven't felt hunger since KodKod took my guts, so thanks, but nothing now.
There is an engraving of the human/dwarf/kobold fortress The Twelfth Bay in Serpentine here. Depicted is humans, dwarves, and kobolds. The inhabitants are performing acts of !!SCIENCE!!, debauchery, cannibalism, and unspeakable horrors. The fortress is unimaginably complex. It is larger on the inside. Visitors are arriving. The visitors are going insane. The insane visitors are being harnessed for reusable energy. There are D
Engraving Reader has canceled read engraving: Went insane
This is what I imagine our fort will be like to outsiders. They just won't be able to handle even looking at it for more than a couple minutes at a time.
"On the wall is a masterful rendition of Cthulhu in microcline. Cthulhu is weeping. The image relates to the foundation of The Twelfth Bay in 2012."
Post by: Reudh on April 22, 2012, 05:42:19 am
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 22, 2012, 06:21:38 am
I haven't felt hunger since KodKod took my guts, so thanks, but nothing now.
Can I have them? Same problem for me, different cause. Need more intestines, kinda like a scarf of intestines...
Post by: Corai on April 22, 2012, 06:49:37 am
I haven't felt hunger since KodKod took my guts, so thanks, but nothing now.
Can I have them? Same problem for me, different cause. Need more intestines, kinda like a scarf of intestines...
I have some fine intestines, what would you like? Carp, Elk, Giant Sponge (dont ask how), I got it all!
For $699.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 22, 2012, 07:01:48 am
I haven't felt hunger since KodKod took my guts, so thanks, but nothing now.
Can I have them? Same problem for me, different cause. Need more intestines, kinda like a scarf of intestines...
I have some fine intestines, what would you like? Carp, Elk, Giant Sponge (dont ask how), I got it all!
For $699.
I'll give you 10☼
Post by: Oliolli on April 22, 2012, 07:17:09 am
Post by: Corai on April 22, 2012, 08:05:54 am
I could give you my set... but KodKod never tells me where she hides all the stuff she tears off me.
The flying busiance card strikes Oliolli in the head, bruising the muscle!
Call me when you need a organ stolen.
Post by: Oliolli on April 22, 2012, 12:18:19 pm
Post by: Reudh on April 22, 2012, 03:06:42 pm
WEAPONISING POTENTIAL?
Post by: wierd on April 22, 2012, 03:56:04 pm
At least on the long term. Short term manipulation is possible, but with devistating side effects.
For health and safety reasons, theoretical methods of externally controlled and temporarily directed !!RAGE!! Have been redacted from this post.
I other news, has anyone seen my poisons? The reagent shelf was broken into lately....
Post by: Corai on April 22, 2012, 04:09:38 pm
Nah, if I need to get rid of an organ I'll just get somewhere within a kilometre of KodKod.
I aint meanin' it like that.
Why you think kobolds carry daggers?
Post by: wierd on April 22, 2012, 04:36:55 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 22, 2012, 04:38:44 pm
Post by: Corai on April 22, 2012, 04:42:04 pm
Because they are too small to carry short swords. I mean, they have to multigrasp the daggers, for goodness sake!
You seem to not understand what I mean.
Dwarves. Gold figure they cant understand something as simple as this.
Post by: wierd on April 22, 2012, 04:47:26 pm
Kobolds don't carry around bags for their loot, because they spindly weak. For the same reason, the only weapons they can carry are daggers. Copper, because it can be cold forged. The daggers are almost too much for them, because they have to multigrasp.
Kobolds are torn between "teh shiny!", their ability to carry it, and the risk of deadly smooshing for trying. So, they balance priorities, and carry a weapon that can be held with one hand if needed. However, they tend to over compensate (probably a size related psychosis) and carry weapons way larger than they can easily handle.
They would be better off carrying copper scalpels.
Post by: Corai on April 22, 2012, 04:49:00 pm
Nono, I understand completely!
Kobolds don't carry around bags for their loot, because they spindly weak. For the same reason, the only weapons they can carry are daggers. Copper, because it can be cold forged. The daggers are almost too much for them, because they have to multigrasp.
Kobolds are torn between "teh shiny!", their ability to carry it, and the risk of deadly smooshing for trying. So, they balance priorities, and carry a weapon that can be held with one hand if needed. However, they tend to over compensate (probably a size related psychosis) and carry weapons way larger than they can easily handle.
They would be better off carrying copper scalpels.
.....
The kobold pulls out a note-pad, crosses off dwarves, and circles elves.
New most intelligent race......WHO THE HELL PUT KOBOLDS ON HERE?
Post by: DwarfMeister on April 22, 2012, 05:43:18 pm
Other Dwarf: Who? Me?
Me:Yes. You. What is your name?
Other Dwarf: Uuuuh... Urist?
Me: Okay, Urist... I want you to bring everybody into the woods and start cutting down trees.
Urist: Why?
Me: Our survival is at stake and I am counting on you to help us see through this situation.
Urist: Ummm... Okay, but...
Me: Are you on my side or not?
Urist: Yeah... But...
Me: Look... This work is most definitely going to suck, but just think about all of your descendants gathering around the magnificent statue made made in your honor.
Urist: *thinks for a second* Sounds good.
Me: Yes. It does. Now, get to work!!!
Urist: Okay. *walks away*
Me: *thinking to myself* Sucker...
Post by: wierd on April 22, 2012, 06:41:48 pm
Perhaps in time, we could delight in the elf-panty-soiling splendur that is the chainsaw.
But before that day, the 2-man saw it is.
Post by: Corai on April 22, 2012, 06:44:38 pm
Cutting wood isn't that hard. It is with an axe, sure, but dwarves work metal. I would introduce them to the joy that is the 2-man saw.
Perhaps in time, we could delight in the elf-panty-soiling splendur that is the chainsaw.
But before that day, the 2-man saw it is.
I would give elves assault rifles.
I would laugh as they desperately try to reload, then realizing that the bullets I gave are wooden.
Post by: wierd on April 22, 2012, 06:48:38 pm
Now, blowdart guns with deadly plant juices... maybe... but only humans ans dwarves would use rifles. (Goblins if they ever learned how.... which I would prevent.)
Post by: Corai on April 22, 2012, 06:56:47 pm
Sorry turncoat kobold.... elves don't work metal... and trees can't contain an explosion. Also, black powder requires charcoal; a forbidden substance to elven kind. Even if you gave them flintlocks, once they learned they are powered by burned trees, they would refuse to use them.
Now, blowdart guns with deadly plant juices... maybe... but only humans ans dwarves would use rifles. (Goblins if they ever learned how.... which I would prevent.)
Thats the idea! Make them feel guilty once they learn of it!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 22, 2012, 10:00:45 pm
Post by: Oliolli on April 22, 2012, 11:04:53 pm
Nah, if I need to get rid of an organ I'll just get somewhere within a kilometre of KodKod.
I aint meanin' it like that.
Why you think kobolds carry daggers?
No, I do not want you to steal someone else's heart, guts or any other organ. They need those organs, I, based on what we have seen, do not.
Now, blowdart guns with deadly plant juices...
That is for when we need to kill someone quietly. Give the elves wooden sticks to throw.
The spinning ☼wooden stick☼ strikes Oliolli in the middle eye, bruising it!
Post by: Gizogin on April 23, 2012, 01:43:06 pm
Spoiler: Hooray for screenshots! (click to show/hide)
Yes, it does have a smiley face on it. One on each side, in fact. It's about three-and-a-half feet long in total, with the grip taking up about a third of that.
I know how to actually make everything except the spike on the head. I could probably do it if I made it square instead of circular, but that didn't look right in Creo. I'd likely also have to do it separately from the rest of the head, and then weld it on or something. The rest of the parts can be easily made on a lathe and a mill, with the possible exception of the smiley faces.
Oliolli, I didn't give you that replacement third eye just so you could get it poked out again. I can't be held responsible for anything that goes wrong if you die before I finish your chassis.
Post by: Gizogin on April 24, 2012, 06:25:18 am
Post by: Oliolli on April 24, 2012, 11:52:36 am
We have been storing all that derail since SSE.
Post by: kisame12794 on April 24, 2012, 01:46:35 pm
Post by: KodKod on April 24, 2012, 02:10:37 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 24, 2012, 02:14:43 pm
Post by: Crossroads Inc. on April 24, 2012, 02:19:14 pm
it is as if it has become THE Thread for pointless spam and derails.
AH! such a Legacy I have left behind!
Post by: Oliolli on April 24, 2012, 02:46:41 pm
So this thread spared the rest of the board 1800 posts worth of derail?
Yep. Just imagine how many thread's lives could have been
It'll soon turn 1900 posts old. Will we eventually see 2000?
Post by: wierd on April 24, 2012, 03:04:10 pm
I never got around to making the cardweaving jig last weekend. Strange mood for the solar concentrator design had to be concluded first.
Design appears to work as intended. Too small for solar death ray, but sufficient to burn hands and heat water.
I think make.com would like the flat pattern for those goobers trying to boost their wifi signals. (The materials used were reasonably cheap, and the focus is reasonably tight.)
Right now I am just chillin before work, eating obesity inducing breakfast items at 3pm, and marvelling at the obtuse choices of diner music that the village inn uses. Just hd "no doubt, don't speak", followed by "alice cooper: welcome to my nightmare".
Totally instrumental, and eerilly soothing. That's what makes it so odd.
Anyway.. time's short. Gotta eat my food and get my fanny in the door at work in 40 minutes or I will be late.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 24, 2012, 03:28:56 pm
We should harvest it and spread it on their fields. That'll have the fuckers panicking, sueing everyone and banning everything until they divulge into a mass of screaming children rolling on the floor balling their eyes out.
Pansy damn elves...
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 24, 2012, 04:04:05 pm
Post by: Talvieno on April 24, 2012, 04:12:05 pm
Concentrated Derailtm is known to cause cancer in the state of California.Lol.
On a different note, my favorite parts of the thread were when it wasn't derailed and we were discussing what we would do if we were actually transported to dwarfworld.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 24, 2012, 04:49:20 pm
Concentrated Derailtm is known to cause cancer in the state of California.Are you calling us Californians elves?
We should harvest it and spread it on their fields. That'll have the fuckers panicking, sueing everyone and banning everything until they divulge into a mass of screaming children rolling on the floor balling their eyes out.
Pansy damn elves...
Post by: wierd on April 24, 2012, 05:26:11 pm
When a crazed "I know how to poison you 50 different ways, and how to blow you up 20 more" independent centrist like myself, gets told "peace and wellness to you brother!" By somebody that looked and smelled like they hadn't seen or used a bar of soap in 10 years simply because of my long hair, and when this is *NOT* a freak occurance (happened several times in fact....), I start to question if the stereotypes associated with that state might actually have some merit or not....
Sorry hugo, but confusing me with a hippy is the 8th deadly sin. I am like the "anti hippy"; the one that tells all the burned out morons to put the bongs down, stop banging each other, and just freakin go to work already.
Certain parts of california are in need, oh yes, so very much in need of a ritual cleansing by magma that it isn't even funny.
Post by: Talvieno on April 24, 2012, 06:17:13 pm
Post by: wierd on April 24, 2012, 06:37:11 pm
Then the realization that supervillians run every major corpoation already sinks in, and I feel depressed.
As for being a secret agent? No thanks. Mortality rate is far too high.
I do have to admit though... a dangerously large part of me really wants everything to come crashing down in a global reset of civilization. There is far too much graft and cruft in the works, held in place because somebody someplace profits frm bilking the system. Only a clean slate would ever hope to fix it. (Look at NYC for a clearcut example of how a city should not be run.)
Post by: Eric Blank on April 24, 2012, 07:01:50 pm
California ends up being the stereotypical hippy state because they export only insanity and hippy-like behavior to the rest of the country, and everybody hears about the wacky shit they do, while the normal human beings among the population are of course being quiet and polite like normal human beings should. Or maybe they're just scared they'd be murdered for not being peaceful enough...
Post by: WillowLuman on April 24, 2012, 07:51:07 pm
The crazy state we hear about all the time is Florida. Back in my birthplace of Idaho they are convinced that the entire rest of the country is crazy.
Post by: Corai on April 24, 2012, 07:56:22 pm
Concentrated Derailtm is known to cause cancer in the state of California.
We should harvest it and spread it on their fields. That'll have the fuckers panicking, sueing everyone and banning everything until they divulge into a mass of screaming children rolling on the floor balling their eyes out.
Pansy damn elves...
Im no elf!
Post by: wierd on April 24, 2012, 08:06:37 pm
Evidently you do not live in CA. Also, NEVER conflate the Bay area and the Los Angeles area.
The crazy state we hear about all the time is Florida. Back in my birthplace of Idaho they are convinced that the entire rest of the country is crazy.
I didn't visit LA, or any of northern CA. My exposure was limited to the bay and santa cruz areas.
I have been told they are radically different, but the valley and bay areas were crawling with "interesting people".
Very interesting people.... very interesting.
Post by: Talvieno on April 24, 2012, 08:12:12 pm
Very interesting people.... very interesting.Interesting... That's what I say when testing syndromes...
Post by: Corai on April 24, 2012, 08:14:56 pm
Now as you <ABANDON FORTRESS> I will eat your corpses which seem to appear as you flee.
Post by: Cellmonk on April 24, 2012, 08:29:56 pm
Concentrated Derailtm is known to cause cancer in the state of California.
We should harvest it and spread it on their fields. That'll have the fuckers panicking, sueing everyone and banning everything until they divulge into a mass of screaming children rolling on the floor balling their eyes out.
Pansy damn elves...
I'm in the bay area, and can agree that among us there are many elves. *cough* mill valley *cough*.
But San Francisco is very Dwarven to me. People keep to themselves, are annoyed by crying children, kill those who do not silence their children, and make cool murals of cheese.
Of course they let elves live and draw flowers on the cheese, but that's only in return for pet unicorns.
Please give California a reason to sue someone. We are in desperate need of public funds.
Edit: If anyone thinks California as a whole is an elfy state, I've got four words for you: Lawrence, Livermore, National, and Laboratory. ;)
Post by: WillowLuman on April 24, 2012, 08:41:49 pm
But I digress. I live in hope that Oliolli will post the next chapter soon.
Post by: wierd on April 24, 2012, 09:09:56 pm
You can synthesize metallic aluminum by electrolysis of aluminum ore, dissolved in molten chryolite, using carbon rod electrodes.
There are many aluminum ores in the game that dwarves don't know how to process. Given the absurd price for aluminum, our fortress could corner the market.
In addition, once cheap metallic aluminum is available, cheap aluminum oxide is also available.
While a handy abrasive, I was thinking more in lines of "genuine cultured sapphire and ruby".
Sapphire and ruby are both corundum. Eg, aluminum oxide. The difference is in which metallic oxide forms a replacement in the crystal lattice. Ruby has chromium oxide, which can be harvested from chromite. Sapphire contains iron oxide, which is easily sourced.
To produce the gems, you need clean hydrogen and oxygen gas. We have electricity, and carbon rod already since it is implied we are making aluminum, and that we have purpetual motion hydroelectric generators. We can get hydrogen and oxygen through electrolysis and compression. Efficiency isn't terribly important, given copious free energy.
The hydrogen and oxygen gas are carefully burned just on the surface of a boule of melted powder, which is very slowly lowered via a "puck". As the boule moves away from the flame, it crystallizes. As the flame is applied, new powder is sprinked on top of the boule to melt. This creates a long, thin ruby or sapphire. Depending on the size of the boule, you can slice it into wafers.
Sapphire (and pure corundum) can be used to fashion semiconductors, in small batches, if you have lasers. Ruby crystal can be coaxed into acting as a laser gain medium, if you know what you are doing.
(That in addition to cornering the ruby and sapphire market.)
Due to all this crazy that I have tucked away in my head, I suspect that the local true dwarves would be picking me apart after a few momentary lapses in keeping my yapp shut. Being fond of industry, ad knowing several industrial processes well enough to demonstrate them (sulfuric+boric acid annodization ftw! Multistep gold electroplate for added awesome, and synthentically prepared gemstones and mass production of aluminum metal, and I am sure a statue is in order.)
After this initial brain picking, I would retire from the limelight to make soap and the like, because it is relaxing and rewarding.... up until explosives get mentioned, then the mad scientist hat goes on again. Nitrocellulose, celluloid film (hollywood time!), nitroglycerine, napalm, and squibwires later, when dwarves are busy playing with flamethrowers and claymore antipersonel mines (and pornographic movies), I would get to relax in comfort again, unless somebody asked about poisons, and then the whole trainwreck happens again.
I would be "that guy" that everyone either loves or hates, because he seems to know everything, but really just wants to sit at home and do nothing with it, except make small handicrafts.
Think a male version of martha stewart, with added bombs and deadly poisons in the kitchen, and you have my basic persona.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 24, 2012, 09:34:22 pm
Post by: Corai on April 24, 2012, 09:36:27 pm
Post by: kisame12794 on April 24, 2012, 09:40:04 pm
Stuff.
You sound like me, only I don't make explosives, I make sharp pointy objects.
Post by: The Unicorn Killer on April 24, 2012, 09:40:36 pm
Post by: wierd on April 24, 2012, 10:01:20 pm
Nono.. instead, we drop in a solid state radio througha very tiny hole, and blast terrible, insanity indusing music into the HFS 24/7.
I'm thinkin the cher album, but I doubt any of us would have it on us.
We could take bets on how many times "life after love" needs to loop for the agonizing screeams to turn into a deafening angry roar.
Post by: kisame12794 on April 24, 2012, 10:05:08 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on April 24, 2012, 10:15:24 pm
Post by: wierd on April 24, 2012, 10:21:15 pm
Yellow submarine.
*edit
OMG. I have it!
The ringing of madness, an orthoclase banana.
This is a masterful orthoclase banana, with the innards of a purpetually powered record player in adamantine. The banana plays a bay12 community recorded rendition of "banana phone" on continual repeat. On the item is an image of forumites in yellow jasper. The forumites are laughing. The artworks relates to the creation and disposal of the ringing of madness, the orthoclase banana into the HFS by the twelfth bay in the spring of 2012.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 24, 2012, 10:25:39 pm
and then there's "Revolution 9" (sorry for wrong title in last post).
Just listen (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdPvN7HOLh8&feature=related)
Post by: wierd on April 24, 2012, 10:31:37 pm
But I think bananaphone (http://m.youtube.com/results?q=banana%20phone#/watch?v=neKXc7pw4go)would do it delightfully.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 24, 2012, 10:38:41 pm
Can't listen over mobile. DRM restriction.And the casing of the radio could be made of adamantine, so that no matter how hard they tried, the demons could never make the song stop.
But I think bananaphone would do it delightfully.
Maybe we should give them a full playlist;
Bananaphone
Revolution 9
Badger Badger Badger
Many other Weebl songs
Achy Breaky Heart
These would be played in that order, ad infinitum
Post by: wierd on April 24, 2012, 10:45:53 pm
Leave them no place to run to!
Breaking the infinite loop on any of weebl's songs would break the mindnumbing effect.
Can you imagine the clowns desperately trying to kill magical trevor? Priceless!
Post by: Eric Blank on April 24, 2012, 10:46:23 pm
Post by: wierd on April 24, 2012, 10:56:25 pm
Everyone Loves Magical Trevor, an adamantine figure of a human.
This is a masterful figure of magical trevor in adamantine. The item contains an infinite recording of magical trevor (1) in adamantine. On the item are images of stars and planets in pigtail. The item induces insanity in all who hear it. The ite was deposited inside an adamantine spire in the spring of 2012.
Post by: Oliolli on April 24, 2012, 11:17:09 pm
But I digress. I live in hope that Oliolli will post the next chapter soon.
As I think I mentioned earlier, I simply do not have time for it. I've been waiting for someone (anyone) to admit willingness to work on it. With my turn now beginning in the succesion world as well, there is very little, if any, hope of me actually getting anything else done.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 24, 2012, 11:23:25 pm
Anyway, I fully support making hell just as hospitible to demons as it is for everyone else. Why should they be comfortable? Also, using CCTV we should make them watch salad fingers.
Post by: Oliolli on April 24, 2012, 11:25:51 pm
Anyway, I fully support making hell just as hospitible to demons as it is for everyone else.
Hell is not necessarily inhospitable to dwarves. (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=94140.0)
Post by: Fen on April 24, 2012, 11:40:11 pm
Of course it's written for silly humour, but the HFS will have no idea what most of the things are being spoken in the song. It'll just be a ridiculously long, confusing not-really-a-song to them.
Actually, we may be going into the territory of having too many songs. Instead of radios with a playlist, we should create a huge area covered with many radios, each looping only one song. No matter where the clowns go, they'll be assaulted by one of several unfavorable songs.
Then, we hook up every radio with a manual randomizer. At the press of a button (or pull of a lever, if you want) The songs all change places within the HFS. push/pull every couple of weeks or so. They'll never be able to choose a single song to live with, that they find the least annoying; they'll always be searching for that one song (or one of equal survivability) in the miasma of looping music.
Demon has gone melancholy x84
Post by: WillowLuman on April 24, 2012, 11:50:04 pm
I believe we should also add to our playlist of horror, Trapped in the Drive-Thru (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmGVYki-oyQ&ob=av3e).Fixed that for you
Of course it's written for silly humour, but the HFS will have no idea what most of the things are being spoken in the song. It'll just be a ridiculously long, confusing not-really-a-song to them.
Actually, we may be going into the territory of having too many songs. Instead of radios with a playlist, we should create a huge area covered with many radios, each looping only one song. No matter where the clowns go, they'll be assaulted by one of several unfavorable songs.
Then, we hook up every radio with a manual randomizer. At the press of a button (or pull of a lever, if you want) The songs all change places within the HFS. push/pull every couple of weeks or so. They'll never be able to choose a single song to live with, that they find the least annoying; they'll always be searching for that one song (or one of equal survivability) in the miasma of looping music.
Demon has gone melancholy x∞
Post by: wierd on April 24, 2012, 11:55:40 pm
Post by: Fen on April 24, 2012, 11:59:32 pm
Then we fill those holes with television looping the worst films of all time.
Plan 9 From Outer Space, Manos The Hands of Fate, whatever we want. No demon will make it out alive.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 25, 2012, 12:03:20 am
Ah, as another thing we can do; we'll leave small patches in-between radios wherein both songs can be heard, but more quietly.Oh, but that's the beauty of the thing. They are immortal and nigh indestructible. There is no escape.
Then we fill those holes with television looping the worst films of all time.
Plan 9 From Outer Space, Manos The Hands of Fate, whatever we want. No demon will make it out alive.
Except...
In the end, they will beg for death. And us, being generous people...
Post by: wierd on April 25, 2012, 12:14:50 am
We need a single video phone to establish communication with, so we can taunt them from the surface, and threaten to make all the devices we dropped play the same show....all t the same time, on max volume! (Andy grifith show intro loop for the win!)
These are demons we are talking about here. They need lethal levels of cute and saccharine.
My little pony.
Boobah
Yo gabba gabba
Barney and friends
Tellitubbies
Bananas in pajamas
Etc.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 25, 2012, 12:18:14 am
Or *gasp*
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: wierd on April 25, 2012, 12:26:06 am
It has to be relentless, and totally counter to everything that they are.
Happy puppies and kittens. Giggling babies. "Sharing is caring", the whole insipid social program!
Endlessly, on max volume, 24/7.
Willy wonka's chocolate factory! The gene wilder one!
With a threat of nonstop oompa loompa if they misbehave!
Post by: Fen on April 25, 2012, 12:28:59 am
Almost. But then I remember how hilarious it will be, and giggle a little bit.
Post by: wierd on April 25, 2012, 12:33:52 am
Even better if we could interact with them in some way... 2 way radio, so we can hear them beg and plead to make it stop, so we can then up the ante with even more sugary fare. Oh yes.... we could be endlessly entertained!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 25, 2012, 01:09:55 am
For maximum effect I recommend unloading the entire contents of PBS morning shows onto them, followed by Christmas carols.
Post by: wierd on April 25, 2012, 01:31:27 am
The "its a small world afterall" ride music.
YOU ARE WARNED! (http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oxxKnTXA0yU)
Post by: Oliolli on April 25, 2012, 01:31:57 am
Post by: tahujdt on April 25, 2012, 01:32:19 am
Post by: wierd on April 25, 2012, 01:38:02 am
That thing is radioactive. The demons would have to be extra naughty for that one.
(It ranks up there with the garbage pail kids movie (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Garbage_Pail_Kids_Movie), but the christmas special wins, hands down.)
Post by: Fen on April 25, 2012, 03:09:00 am
"Oi, Ctharg, don't you try breaking the television you little shite. Just for that, we're sending you all on a one-way trip to Musical Care Bear Land for the day."
Post by: Naryar on April 25, 2012, 03:16:59 am
Nah, the morally just way is to meet them with steel and adamantine.
Post by: Splint on April 25, 2012, 03:17:28 am
Seriously, you people are evil.
And it's fuckin' hilarious. :P
Post by: Oliolli on April 25, 2012, 07:47:32 am
Nah, the morally just way is to meet them with steel and adamantine.
Adamantine radios. Steel TVs.
Post by: Naryar on April 25, 2012, 08:31:05 am
Nah, the morally just way is to meet them with steel and adamantine.
Adamantine radios. Steel TVs.
Good luck making these out of a conductive material only...
Post by: Eric Blank on April 25, 2012, 10:39:50 am
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 11:09:01 am
nah, just the outer casing and support structures so the demons can't smash it to bits. The internal components can be made of anything that can withstand being shaken violently :P
We still talking about the dooms-day weapon that will take over Dwarf Fortress?
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 25, 2012, 11:16:43 am
Im no elf!
I'm convinced several hundred posts in this thread have been in regards to your elderberry and honey badger relations.
Eyup.
I say we dig WAY WAY down until we strike Magma. Then we go and take this thread seriously. Oh wait, we're Bay12 Forums users. IMPOSSIBLE!
On one of the 1800 posts, we talked about this and decided we wouldn't want to do much of that, mainly because OF THE CAVERNS.
Don't want steel cockroaches walking up our wells.
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 11:20:27 am
Im no elf!
I'm convinced several hundred posts in this thread have been in regards to your elderberry and honey badger relations.
Eyup.I say we dig WAY WAY down until we strike Magma. Then we go and take this thread seriously. Oh wait, we're Bay12 Forums users. IMPOSSIBLE!
On one of the 1800 posts, we talked about this and decided we wouldn't want to do much of that, mainly because OF THE CAVERNS.
Don't want steel cockroaches walking up our wells.
I now admit in a elf, indisputable evidence has been found, California is a elven land, and where I live, very elfish. So yeah.....Is it normal to be a elf that loves chopping trees?
And what Honey Badgers? I never mentioned them. Elderberry? Lolwut.
Post by: Oliolli on April 25, 2012, 11:48:34 am
I say we dig WAY WAY down until we strike Magma. Then we go and take this thread seriously. Oh wait, we're Bay12 Forums users. IMPOSSIBLE!
On one of the 1800 posts, we talked about this and decided we wouldn't want to do much of that, mainly because OF THE CAVERNS.
Don't want steel cockroaches walking up our wells.
Didn't we decide to mine to the magma but seal off every cavern we find?
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 11:55:19 am
I say we dig WAY WAY down until we strike Magma. Then we go and take this thread seriously. Oh wait, we're Bay12 Forums users. IMPOSSIBLE!
On one of the 1800 posts, we talked about this and decided we wouldn't want to do much of that, mainly because OF THE CAVERNS.
Don't want steel cockroaches walking up our wells.
Didn't we decide to mine to the magma but seal off every cavern we find?
Since this thread is referring to the idea that were in a "real" dwarf fortress, a stone wall wont hold back demons or FBs. So we would have to fight if we got to caverns.
Post by: wierd on April 25, 2012, 12:10:56 pm
Nono... you guys would be fighting over the remote control that sets the programming the demons have to watch for the day.
Every once in awhile, if the demons are really really good, we'll let them watch Friday the 13th or something, (Followed by a mr rodgers marathon.) Just to really set the hook good.
Post by: Gizogin on April 25, 2012, 12:36:02 pm
These are demons we are talking about here. They need lethal levels of cute and saccharine.
My little pony.
I can only assume you mean the original stuff, because FiM is dark.
I recommend Winnie the Pooh. There's some wholesome entertainment for the whole family, which obviously means poison to demons.
Post by: wierd on April 25, 2012, 12:43:19 pm
Along with strawberry shortcake, raenbow brite, and carebears.
It has to be over the top sweet sweet saccharine. The kind that makes you bleed from everyv oraphice.
Post by: Oliolli on April 25, 2012, 01:07:20 pm
And for once, my new wounds are not the result of KodKod's influence.
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 01:19:08 pm
I would like to be dwarfed:
Novice Blacksmith
Proficient Fighter
Proficient Swordsdwarf
Proficient Hammerdwarf
Novice Social Stuff
Also I would like a female cutebold and an elf female in a cage. Cutebolds are adorable :-[
Correction: The Elf in a cage the cutebold following me.
Post by: wierd on April 25, 2012, 01:46:04 pm
Creatures in df reproduce by spores! With corai around, a female cutebold will. Be poppin eggs before we know it, and then we'll be drowning in the things!
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 02:06:25 pm
Absolutely not!
Creatures in df reproduce by spores! With corai around, a female cutebold will. Be poppin eggs before we know it, and then we'll be drowning in the things!
Marriage. Sentient creatures cannot produce spores until married. So all is good! Just keep me away, and all is good!
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 25, 2012, 02:12:03 pm
Creatures in df reproduce by spores! With corai around, a female cutebold will. Be poppin eggs before we know it, and then we'll be drowning in the things!
Not if all of the next boxes are claimed by King Snakes!
Post by: Oliolli on April 25, 2012, 02:12:50 pm
Absolutely not!
Creatures in df reproduce by spores! With corai around, a female cutebold will. Be poppin eggs before we know it, and then we'll be drowning in the things!
Marriage. Sentient creatures cannot produce spores until married. So all is good! Just keep me away, and all is good!
Sentient
There is the problem.
The real solution?
Kobold egg omelettes.
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 02:13:59 pm
Absolutely not!
Creatures in df reproduce by spores! With corai around, a female cutebold will. Be poppin eggs before we know it, and then we'll be drowning in the things!
Marriage. Sentient creatures cannot produce spores until married. So all is good! Just keep me away, and all is good!Sentient
There is the problem.
The real solution?
Kobold egg omelettes.
As far as I know, Kobolds ARE sentient, just stupid. At least if you make it [CIV_PLAYABLE]
Again, all is good!
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 25, 2012, 02:14:26 pm
You guys can't tell me that you wouldn't laugh yourselves sick after seeing the denizens of the HFS get subjected to 24hr saccharine injections, only to have them break down and beg for mercy. I know this forum too well, where we insult their demonic auras by growing strawberries down there, while sipping iced sunshine.
I just noticed this.
Now, not that I don't agree with the sentiments of this... But...
When Aussie did this....
He drove the entire species of Dwarf into extinction.
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 02:15:56 pm
You guys can't tell me that you wouldn't laugh yourselves sick after seeing the denizens of the HFS get subjected to 24hr saccharine injections, only to have them break down and beg for mercy. I know this forum too well, where we insult their demonic auras by growing strawberries down there, while sipping iced sunshine.
I just noticed this.
Now, not that I don't agree with the sentiments of this... But...
When Aussie did this....
He drove the entire species of Dwarf into extinction.
Quote
He drove the entire species of Dwarf into extinction.
I LOVE THIS IDEA! PLEASE DO IT!
Post by: Gizogin on April 25, 2012, 02:20:07 pm
You guys can't tell me that you wouldn't laugh yourselves sick after seeing the denizens of the HFS get subjected to 24hr saccharine injections, only to have them break down and beg for mercy. I know this forum too well, where we insult their demonic auras by growing strawberries down there, while sipping iced sunshine.
I just noticed this.
Now, not that I don't agree with the sentiments of this... But...
When Aussie did this....
He drove the entire species of Dwarf into extinction.
It's a good thing I'm not a dwarf, then.
Post by: wierd on April 25, 2012, 03:05:37 pm
We already know what's down there, and knowing is half the battle!
We don't need to open a full tunnel entrance...a teeny, tiny bore hole is sufficient! Just make a teeny little hole, and start pumpin the saccharine!
Hole isn't nearly big enough for a demon to crawl through, (though fire, acid, webs, etc might get through), and we can stuff horrible, artifact grade (and thus, indestructable) evil through it, until the HFS surrenders!
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 03:12:06 pm
That's why we do it without completely opening the HFS!
We already know what's down there, and knowing is half the battle!
We don't need to open a full tunnel entrance...a teeny, tiny bore hole is sufficient! Just make a teeny little hole, and start pumpin the saccharine!
Hole isn't nearly big enough for a demon to crawl through, (though fire, acid, webs, etc might get through), and we can stuff horrible, artifact grade (and thus, indestructable) evil through it, until the HFS surrenders!
We should throw KodKod down, her evil will make the demons think there not good enough.
Spirit of Fire has been stricken by Melancholy! x129
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 03:14:07 pm
Sadly, I do not think you can just drown the HFS anymore. We will find some horrible way to torment the demons.
Post by: Splint on April 25, 2012, 03:15:03 pm
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 03:16:35 pm
Corai as long as you stay away from MY cutebold we are good.
Sadly, I do not think you can just drown the HFS anymore. We will find some horrible way to torment the demons.
Oh, you are NOT telling the original fort's cutebold to back off!
You can call me a elf, since apparently California is a forest-retreat, but still.
Throw KodKod down with the demons? Come on, we're people! Not monsters! Pitting those poor bastards against KodKod is like fighting hippies with VX nerve gas. It's too horrible to think of even for me.
OOOOH? IS THE DWARF TO ELFISH TO GO THROUGH WITH IT? HMMMM? I would do it, why cant you? Thats like a kitten being braver then you!
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 03:17:34 pm
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 03:18:30 pm
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 03:19:23 pm
Since they are immune to the ill effects of lava we can not cause them to feel the pain of having all their muscles and skin melted off.
There [NOFEAR] will not be enough to defeat KodKod!
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 03:20:42 pm
Post by: Naryar on April 25, 2012, 03:21:14 pm
Post by: Splint on April 25, 2012, 03:21:23 pm
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 03:22:08 pm
Man, any damn animal in the DF world is braver than me.
Even the Fluffy Wambler?
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 03:22:37 pm
Throwing KodKod to the demons will not change anything, since she is a denizen of Hell herself.
She will kill them all to take her throne.
Man, any damn animal in the DF world is braver than me. I only fight if I have no choice, despite my belligerent tendencies. And even demons deserve better than the percieved overlord of evil being set upon them. Maybe enslavment into a silk farm while listening to the worst music ever instead.
Have a mug of wine.
Shhhh! We try not to say her name. I kinda want to stay alive and not be turned into one of her "pets" or "experiments" or worse yet food for her and/or her pets.
Twitch
Experiment? Heheheh....Its not that bad....
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 03:26:15 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 25, 2012, 03:29:30 pm
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 03:30:16 pm
Corai you were on the Kobold Camp thread, of course, remember the picture of the guy with the cutebold in his bed?
Compared to kobolds, goblins are great thinkers! Hahahahah!
Who could ever love a kobold?
/Kobold and elf in bed
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 03:30:37 pm
I'm up for sending Oliolli into the HFS with a pick axe. He could probably take down the car by himself, by all rights he shouldn't even be alive right now...
Indeed. How he survives the Wrath of KodKod, I have no idea.
Yep that one except I am a human or dwarf.
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 03:31:35 pm
I'm up for sending Oliolli into the HFS with a pick axe. He could probably take down the car by himself, by all rights he shouldn't even be alive right now...
Indeed. How he survives the Wrath of KodKod, I have no idea.
Hes the anti-Kod, he was sent from Armok to slew KodKod!
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 03:32:32 pm
What are all the forumites? from what I read: They are human-sized dwarfs who may or may not have facial hair?
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 03:33:54 pm
So since your new-kobold here, you should get legendary dodger before she comes.
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 03:35:10 pm
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 03:36:30 pm
Anyway, why are we planning for HFS when we should be planning for the first cavern? Theres always the chance that its so big we cant just dig around.
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 03:37:14 pm
How are you dodging while in a cage anyway?
When did I say I was in a cage?
I actually wanted to be a migrant with a cutebold in tow.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 25, 2012, 03:38:04 pm
They are human-sized dwarfs who may or may not have facial hair?
Suspiciously large Dwarves.
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 03:39:28 pm
Were replying like were in a chat-room!
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 03:40:43 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 25, 2012, 03:41:19 pm
Sorry, I'm at tech and bored so I finally came out of the shadows(I finally finished reading the previous pages). I am on here and concentrated on this.
All 40 pages?
Dedication.
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 03:41:56 pm
Sorry, I'm at tech and bored so I finally came out of the shadows(I finally finished reading the previous pages). I am on here and concentrated on this.
All 40 pages?
Dedication.
132 man, stop using custom forum!
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 03:42:28 pm
All 40 pages?
Dedication.
Yeah, I spent over a week or two reading.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 25, 2012, 03:43:55 pm
132 man, stop using custom forum!
50 posts per page or the communists win.
Dwarf Fortresses are totally different from communism.
Totally.
Post by: wierd on April 25, 2012, 03:46:51 pm
Oh goodie! The you know about my "evil martha stewart" tendencies.
I just baked a delightful batch of killer cookies. Be careful which food stockpile you pilfer from now. :)
Me and Mrs Bakecakes (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=103083.msg3047440#msg3047440) should totally get together for deadly cake and zombie night.
Post by: Splint on April 25, 2012, 03:53:31 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 25, 2012, 03:55:22 pm
Post by: Fen on April 25, 2012, 03:56:08 pm
Post by: wierd on April 25, 2012, 03:56:39 pm
No-one eat the cookies if they came out of Wierd's lab.
What!? My cookies are *TO DIE FOR*!!
(Sulky face)
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 03:58:19 pm
Soo, that's what, 3 kobolds in the fort now? If we get a few more we can start a mini-camp.
Three? Who is the third?
Post by: wierd on April 25, 2012, 04:07:17 pm
(Shrug)
Post by: RAKninja on April 25, 2012, 04:08:57 pm
Soo, that's what, 3 kobolds in the fort now? If we get a few more we can start a mini-camp.i'm a reformed goblin, not a skulker.
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 04:11:02 pm
NOONE remove our enity from the raws, I do not want to be a father.
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 04:11:37 pm
Soo, that's what, 3 kobolds in the fort now? If we get a few more we can start a mini-camp.
You know I would end up in that camp too right? Even though I am a dwarf..
My Kobold loves me so I wouldnt worry overmuch.
Post by: Fen on April 25, 2012, 04:22:35 pm
Soo, that's what, 3 kobolds in the fort now? If we get a few more we can start a mini-camp.
Three? Who is the third?
I heard there's a secret kobold werebull around here somewhere.
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 04:24:06 pm
Soo, that's what, 3 kobolds in the fort now? If we get a few more we can start a mini-camp.
Three? Who is the third?
I heard there's a secret kobold werebull around here somewhere.
Kobold Mason cancels drink: Werebull hunt.
What metal is it weakest too? Im gonna slay it.
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 04:28:05 pm
Kobold Mason cancels drink: Werebull hunt.
What metal is it weakest too? Im gonna slay it.
Get me the metal and I will make you a large dagger. IF a weapon smith is open.
Post by: Fen on April 25, 2012, 04:31:52 pm
Kobold Mason cancels drink: Werebull hunt.
What metal is it weakest too? Im gonna slay it.
Get me the metal and I will make you a large dagger. IF a weapon smith is open.
You're gonna need a lot of Francium...
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 04:33:58 pm
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 04:35:44 pm
Kobold Mason cancels drink: Werebull hunt.
What metal is it weakest too? Im gonna slay it.
Get me the metal and I will make you a large dagger. IF a weapon smith is open.
You're gonna need a lot of Francium...
Screw it then, im gonna use REASON.
Its either me, you, or Saurinae. Your the one that brought it up......Since its not a full moon.....
The spinning Large Silver Dagger strikes Fen in the right hand, shattering the bone, tearing the muscle, tearing the fat!
Foul beast! Preying on the weak, you turn to a twisted shape once a month! Prepare to be struck down!
inb4horribledeath
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 04:37:18 pm
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 04:38:37 pm
*picks up a silver claymore and joins fray on Corai's side* (Ï'm screwed)
silly! Thats far far to heavy and large! Use a Silver shortsword if you want a two-handed weapon.
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 04:40:17 pm
Post by: Fen on April 25, 2012, 04:42:44 pm
a wizard told me?
U k
This is an engraving of Fen and a wizard. The wizard and Fen are conversing. The wizard is telling Fen the secrets of Francium and were-creatures. This relates to Fen learning
So yeah, I'm totally no-
The spinning Large Silver Dagger strikes Fen in the right hand, shattering the bone, tearing the muscle, tearing the fat!
Fen cancels bluff: Chasing Corai with -bismuth bronze chisel-
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 04:46:30 pm
... *pats Corai on head* silly kobold
Ah I get what you mean from your post now, you want a kobold and a elf inside your dwarf's room.
You punch Fen in the left foot, bruising the muscle!
Fen counterstrikes!
You dodge out of the way!
Post by: wierd on April 25, 2012, 04:46:54 pm
Kobold Mason cancels drink: Werebull hunt.
What metal is it weakest too? Im gonna slay it.
Get me the metal and I will make you a large dagger. IF a weapon smith is open.
You're gonna need a lot of Francium...
I presume that is supposed to be *pure* francium, right?
Well, I hope the kobold has a heavy leather glove to hold it with, and a space suit, because that is only the most electropositive rare earth metal known to science. It oxidizes faster than you can shake a stick at, and for armok's sake, keep it away from halogens!
Just dropping it in water will result in a nasty explosion!
Not only that, its also radioactive, and the heat of decay is sufficient to vaporize it. It has a half life of 22 minutes.
Better be quick with that highly unstable dagger little kobolds!
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 04:53:06 pm
Saurinae misses!
Post by: wierd on April 25, 2012, 04:58:24 pm
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 04:59:34 pm
For goodness sake, just stab him with some pitchblende or something. Trace amounts of francium are continually produced in ores of uranium, so a pitchblend scepter over the head should be partially effective.
Im a kobold! How am I suppost to steal/make that? Besides, its not a full moon. So hes just a kobold right now.
Lets all do something related to the thread while we fight, to avoid spam.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 25, 2012, 06:29:46 pm
From a burnt and tattered journal recovered from the 12th Bay:
If I press the slab, time will stop. It is progress, but I dare not use it. Furthermore, I still can't go forward or backward. Perhaps, given time, I can engrave 3 more with certain configurations, but it is too risky. This metaphysics already strains the limits of narrativium. Do I dare go further?
Post by: kisame12794 on April 25, 2012, 06:49:55 pm
Kobold Mason cancels drink: Werebull hunt.
What metal is it weakest too? Im gonna slay it.
Get me the metal and I will make you a large dagger. IF a weapon smith is open.
My forge is always open.
Post by: Gizogin on April 25, 2012, 08:03:49 pm
What would stopping time even mean? Even if you could freeze everything as it currently is, it wouldn't actually change anything. You can't say that nothing would happen ever again; without time, things like "happen," "ever," or "would" have no meaning.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 25, 2012, 08:08:26 pm
Stopping time is a ridiculous concept. Time is not a river that you can simply dam; it is a dimension, along which everything moves. You can no more stop time than you can kill length.True, as experiments show that meetings continue even while time is stopped using the method I have discovered.
What would stopping time even mean? Even if you could freeze everything as it currently is, it wouldn't actually change anything. You can't say that nothing would happen ever again; without time, things like "happen," "ever," or "would" have no meaning.
Post by: wierd on April 25, 2012, 09:43:04 pm
Stopping time is a ridiculous concept. Time is not a river that you can simply dam; it is a dimension, along which everything moves. You can no more stop time than you can kill length.
What would stopping time even mean? Even if you could freeze everything as it currently is, it wouldn't actually change anything. You can't say that nothing would happen ever again; without time, things like "happen," "ever," or "would" have no meaning.
You can stop time by constraining its dimensionality to 0.
This is what happens when 2 things happen:
1) spacial curvature is infinite, inside a finite volume.
2) velocity is equal to C.
Thank you, I'm here all night. :D
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 10:37:24 pm
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 10:38:21 pm
The caverns are are next target. We will have to have a decent army and be able to wall off a part of the caverns.
This is madness! We can defeat HFS, but not the FIRST cavern! Am I the only one who thinks this is madness!?!
Probably am.
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 10:39:19 pm
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 10:40:54 pm
(Random question who all can see my avatar?)
Not me. But that may just be kobold-blindness-nes.
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 10:51:12 pm
(Random question who all can see my avatar?)
Not me. But that may just be kobold-blindness-nes.
(Got it. Thanks)
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 10:58:46 pm
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 11:03:25 pm
Okay, back on topic now. If we ever DO breach the caverns what are the plans?
My kobold tribe that you would know about if you read carefully will charge blindly to attack!
Post by: wierd on April 25, 2012, 11:05:44 pm
Concerning your avatar: bay12 scales the image to 100x100px. It looks like your image file is larger than this, and the forced scaling the browser uses doesn't look so hot. *shrug*
(My cute little snake has the same problem, being 120x120. It doesn't scale very well either, being raw pixel art. I made it myself over a year ago, and don't feel like cropping it.)
(Nevermind the disturbingly knowing look that kobold has on her face. That dwarf SHOULD be embarrased! Yucky!)
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 11:06:56 pm
Okay, back on topic now. If we ever DO breach the caverns what are the plans?
My kobold tribe that you would know about if you read carefully will charge blindly to attack!
Let's try not to make the Kobolds do suicide runs. Someone would probably miss them.
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 11:08:11 pm
Okay, back on topic now. If we ever DO breach the caverns what are the plans?
My kobold tribe that you would know about if you read carefully will charge blindly to attack!
Let's try not to make the Kobolds do suicide runs. Someone would probably miss them.
We already have them going into goblin-towers to steal there stuff. They been doing suicide runs since they were pups! So one year ago.
Post by: MrButtchicker on April 25, 2012, 11:10:30 pm
Okay, back on topic now. If we ever DO breach the caverns what are our plans?I run off to the nearest slide. That's what. SLADE. I. MEANT. SLADE!
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 11:11:25 pm
Post by: wierd on April 25, 2012, 11:21:01 pm
Kobolds have no concept of ownership! Give them better pokey sticks, and they will be pokeying me to steal the sparklies I make in the lab!
No! Kobolds open locked doors, and have trap avoid! They are a menace, and a terrible disaster just waiting to happen!
I mean, just think about it my way for a second:
The goblins come over to visit to find out where all their shiny steel goblinite is going to, and we lock the doors.
But of course, the kobolds can't speak, and have no concept of language. So, they don't know why we locked the doors! They peek out the fortification slit, see shiny goblinite to steal, and BLAMMO, they open the locked doors and let the goblins right in!
No no no! Natural population control on the resident kobold population is not cynical, it is absolutely essential for fortress security! We shouldn't have any in here to begin with!
(I leave out little treats for them all the time as it is, and they still keep breeding!)
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 11:23:42 pm
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 11:24:19 pm
Post by: Oliolli on April 25, 2012, 11:30:22 pm
Man, any damn animal in the DF world is braver than me.
Even the Fluffy Wambler?
They kill bronze colossi, you know.
I'm up for sending Oliolli into the HFS with a pick axe. He could probably take down the car by himself, by all rights he shouldn't even be alive right now...
*Grabs pick axe and enters adamantine spire*
Wall it off once I'm in. Things are going to get [insert punny adjective here].
I suck at puns.
Not in anger, not in wrath
the Reaper came today
An angel visited this gray path
and took the HFS away
I'm up for sending Oliolli into the HFS with a pick axe. He could probably take down the car by himself, by all rights he shouldn't even be alive right now...
Indeed. How he survives the Wrath of KodKod, I have no idea.
Hes the anti-Kod, he was sent from Armok to slew KodKod!
I am Ohrajyvä, destroyer of all that is indestructible, sent by Armok, god of blood, magma and cupcakes?, down to this land to cleanse it of all that defiles Armok's unique right to indestructibility. Woe to all those who stand in my way.
No-one eat the cookies if they came out of Wierd's lab.
*eats cookie that came out of Wierd's lab for good luck against the demons*
Okay, back on topic now. If we ever DO breach the caverns what are our plans?
Wierd makes some napalm, which we use to set a fire into the caverns. Anything that survives the massive fires is then massacred by our kobold strike force, inserted via kobold drop pods.
Post by: wierd on April 25, 2012, 11:33:10 pm
If she wants hair gel for her purile beauty regimen on your beard, she can buy it at the market like everyone else!
(What I am trying to say, is kobolds aren't allowed in my quarters, or in my laboratory. Bad bad things will happen to the ones that do. Trap avoid has its limitations, when the air supply becomes horribly toxic, for instance.)
*resumes cooking napalm. Threatens to pour the toxic byproducts of the biodiesel synthesis reaction down the kobold hole to watch them scream and run around from they highly caustic nature of the waste.*
*offer oliolli an antidote mint for what was in the cookie*
Post by: Oliolli on April 25, 2012, 11:35:48 pm
Trap avoid has its limitations, when the air supply because horribly toxic, for instance.
Comparable to [TRAP_AVOID]s trying to survive a swim in the magma sea?
*offer oliolli an antidote mint for what was in the cookie*
Don't worry, Oliollis are immune to most poisons. We were created to do Armok's dirty work, after all.
I just hope there was no spinach in the cookie...
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 11:36:19 pm
Good! Then she won't nick any of the fabulous items from my lab!
If she wants hair gel for her purile beauty regimen on your beard, she can buy it at the market like everyone else!
(What I am trying to say, is kobolds aren't allowed in my quarters, or in my laboratory. Bad bad things will happen to the ones that do. Trap avoid has its limitations, when the air supply because horribly toxic, for instance.)
I can breath-
Kobold cancels bring gift, choking to death on blood.
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 11:38:45 pm
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 11:40:15 pm
She makes the stuff herself :). Although it does require me to have a little side-room for her plants.
Okay who are these kobold's parents, there must be a elf or human in that gene-pool.
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 11:41:44 pm
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 11:43:30 pm
Highly educated XD. Normally an oxymoron when it comes to Kobolds. I have been teaching her since I met her.
Okay, what drug is that thing on, no kobold naturally becomes that intelligent without a drug.
I will never forget those days of my kobold-childhood, never again.
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 11:45:24 pm
Post by: wierd on April 25, 2012, 11:46:21 pm
If you catch some nasty zoonotic illness, done come crawling to me for prophylaxis! I disapprove of such unions! (Blach!)
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 11:47:17 pm
So, not only are you a nasty xenosexual dwarf, your a pedophile xenosexual dwarf!
If you catch some nasty zoonotic illness, done come crawling to me for prophylaxis! I disapprove of such unions! (Blach!)
I CANNOT UNDERSTAND THESE WORDS.
May I have a dictionary from your lab?
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 11:47:30 pm
So, not only are you a nasty xenosexual dwarf, your a pedophile xenosexual dwarf!
If you catch some nasty zoonotic illness, done come crawling to me for prophylaxis! I disapprove of such unions! (Blach!)
Hey now. She helped me survive when I fell into this Armok-Damned world. Her great x2 grandmother died before I met her
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 11:49:32 pm
So far I have been confused with-
Who's lab is who's?
Why is that kobold part elf?
Why am I part elf?
Who is our leader?
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 11:50:34 pm
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 11:51:40 pm
I think you remember the mini-comic in which the elf ended up in bed with a kobold.
Yes, I do. I thought the elf was the girl at first.
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 11:52:26 pm
Post by: Oliolli on April 25, 2012, 11:53:51 pm
So, not only are you a nasty xenosexual dwarf, your a pedophile xenosexual dwarf!
If you catch some nasty zoonotic illness, done come crawling to me for prophylaxis! I disapprove of such unions! (Blach!)
I CANNOT UNDERSTAND THESE WORDS.
May I have a dictionary from your lab?
Just so you know, the dictionary menaces with spikes of pitchblende, and all the spikes are covered with either selenium, arsenic or cyanide.
Post by: Corai on April 25, 2012, 11:54:36 pm
And since my eyes and ears are everywhere in the form of kobolds......
Yes, I know everything that happens in this fort. The only place I dont know about is that damned lab. Someday, someday......
So, not only are you a nasty xenosexual dwarf, your a pedophile xenosexual dwarf!
If you catch some nasty zoonotic illness, done come crawling to me for prophylaxis! I disapprove of such unions! (Blach!)
I CANNOT UNDERSTAND THESE WORDS.
May I have a dictionary from your lab?
Just so you know, the dictionary menaces with spikes of pitchblende, and all the spikes are covered with either selenium, arsenic or cyanide.
......I will just ask the humans when they visit......OH GOD DONT THROW IT I SURRENDER.
Post by: wierd on April 25, 2012, 11:55:10 pm
So, not only are you a nasty xenosexual dwarf, your a pedophile xenosexual dwarf!
If you catch some nasty zoonotic illness, done come crawling to me for prophylaxis! I disapprove of such unions! (Blach!)
I CANNOT UNDERSTAND THESE WORDS.
May I have a dictionary from your lab?
Nasty xenosexual (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080721165126AA9tYd6) dwarves who hook up with skulking filth catch zoonotic illnesses (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoonosis) that then require prophylaxis (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophylaxis#section_4)!
We have enough to deal with, what with the forgotten beast syndromes! We don't need "cave fever" induced ones spreading too!
Post by: Saurinae on April 25, 2012, 11:58:37 pm
Nasty xenosexual (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080721165126AA9tYd6) dwarves who hook up with skulking filth catch zoonotic illnesses (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoonosis) that then require prophylaxis (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophylaxis#section_4)!
We have enough to deal with, what with the forgotten beast syndromes! We don't need "cave fever" induced ones spreading too!
Don't call her skulking filth. It wasn't her fault she was born the way she was. *Takes Indilwen out of the room and back to chambers*
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 12:02:07 am
Nasty xenosexual (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080721165126AA9tYd6) dwarves who hook up with skulking filth catch zoonotic illnesses (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoonosis) that then require prophylaxis (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophylaxis#section_4)!
We have enough to deal with, what with the forgotten beast syndromes! We don't need "cave fever" induced ones spreading too!
Don't call her skulking filth. It wasn't her fault she was born the way she was. *Takes Indilwen out of the room and back to chambers*
(I'm just teasin bro, don't take it personal. I tend to be bombastic with my humor. Gets me into trouble sometimes. Just wanted to let you know about the joking part. Poe's law and all.)
Post by: Saurinae on April 26, 2012, 12:04:48 am
*Indilwen and Zagith curl up together and go to sleep after completely locking door*
Post by: WillowLuman on April 26, 2012, 12:09:00 am
In regard to caverns, I believe capturing a breeding pair of GCS should be a priority.
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 12:13:16 am
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 26, 2012, 12:50:06 am
Post by: Fen on April 26, 2012, 01:19:48 am
Post by: RAKninja on April 26, 2012, 04:43:00 am
either way, i mandate a codpiece.
Post by: Fen on April 26, 2012, 06:18:26 am
too bad armor doesnt count as clothing.
either way, i mandate a codpiece.
well, there's only one place to go if you want one of those... (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=2&p=000190)
Post by: Reudh on April 26, 2012, 06:33:39 am
An upper fortress of Dorven/Humans, and a lower fortress of kobolds. The upper fort can drop SHINIES and the occasional trouble maker (bound) for the kobolds to be curious about.
Post by: Naryar on April 26, 2012, 06:33:42 am
*starts to make mechanisms for underground cage trap abuse*
Naryar, Adept of Spears, Iron and Cogs withdraws from society...
Post by: KodKod on April 26, 2012, 11:20:56 am
Throwing KodKod to the demons will not change anything, since she is a denizen of Hell herself.
Not quite. There are worse things than hell or clowns, Naryar, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 26, 2012, 11:55:40 am
Post by: RAKninja on April 26, 2012, 12:02:09 pm
SCORE!too bad armor doesnt count as clothing.
either way, i mandate a codpiece.
well, there's only one place to go if you want one of those... (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=2&p=000190)
RAK has been ecstatic lately. He has been satisfied to have a mandate met recently. He has been happy to have a reference understood recently.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 26, 2012, 01:07:07 pm
Post by: Saurinae on April 26, 2012, 01:08:15 pm
How does everyone feel about putting giant cave spiders in the air vents? I think it's a great idea.How about no. I kinda want to live to see another day.
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 01:10:04 pm
Now, You can put them in the entryhall behind fortifications, so we can get silked kobold thieves on top of the cage traps when they try to flee.... AND get free silk during goblin christmas.
That would be quite acceptable.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 26, 2012, 01:11:01 pm
Which is why we don't want goblins in the air vents. Or Kobolds. And if we ever need to get rid of the cute arachnids, all we'd have to do is start a fire on the silk webs and flush them onto the surface. Flee pretties flee! Devour the wildlife and multiply!How does everyone feel about putting giant cave spiders in the air vents? I think it's a great idea.How about no. I kinda want to live to see another day.
They'd clog up the ventilation. Trust me, my lab needs to be WELL ventilated!
Now the ventilation shafts would be pretty damn big.
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 01:15:18 pm
I dont like waiting around outside the door waiting for the "Environment purge" system to clean up after one of Corai's intrepid incursions.
Post by: Naryar on April 26, 2012, 01:24:53 pm
Throwing KodKod to the demons will not change anything, since she is a denizen of Hell herself.
Not quite. There are worse things than hell or clowns, Naryar, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Truly ? And what would these be, since (against all odds) you seem to be more knowledgeable of my philosophy than me ?
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 01:25:56 pm
Sadly, I have a nondisclosure agreement with hell's R&D.
Post by: Oliolli on April 26, 2012, 01:54:07 pm
I dont like waiting around outside the door waiting for the "Environment purge" system to clean up after one of Corai's intrepid incursions.
You hear a faint voice from behind the door
"Hey! Oliolli here. I was checking if I could find some napalm to get rid of all those nasty tumbleweed demons hell keeps throwing at me but now the door seems to have locked itself! Could you let me out? Oh, and tell Loud Whispers that he may want to re-seal the adamantine spire. As in now."
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 01:56:26 pm
Just wait patiently while the air gets replaced, and then the door will unlock.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 26, 2012, 02:34:09 pm
Could you let me out? Oh, and tell Loud Whispers that he may want to re-seal the adamantine spire. As in now."
Loud Whispers has arranged a party at the limestone door!
Post by: Gizogin on April 26, 2012, 02:43:48 pm
Gizogin Akithnil, Rawmancer cancels Attend Party: Getting the Heck Outta Dodge
Luckily, I spent the last few days making the hospital into a veritable fortress of its own, with farms and stills and everything. I'll be safe forever!
Post by: Eric Blank on April 26, 2012, 02:51:52 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 26, 2012, 02:55:33 pm
Loud Whispers cancels attend party : Too much floor space, not enough doors.
We must open all of the doors.
Starting with this one.
Post by: Fen on April 26, 2012, 03:12:27 pm
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 03:23:44 pm
Weird joykill tests "kobold proof door adhesive" at party.
Loud whispers cancels open door: stuck to handle!
Weird Joykill cancels attend party: demons singing "small small world" behind door!
Post by: Saurinae on April 26, 2012, 03:25:45 pm
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 03:30:47 pm
Post by: Saurinae on April 26, 2012, 03:32:47 pm
Only if an "emergency purge" system that floods the entire annex in 7/7 magma, then drains it away afterwards is also installed.
>:( What did they do to you? (Hard to tell everyone's emotions over text. Also my character is very protective of the kobolds. He gets mad if they are threatened or harmed.) (We might end with a Kobold camp inside a dwarf fortress XD)
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 03:38:30 pm
I won't even discuss the incident (http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=z0wEYtmmuFQ) that made me despise small cute things in the lab. (Thankfully the effects weren't permanent.)
Post by: Saurinae on April 26, 2012, 03:40:04 pm
Shiny lab gear + kobolds == angry scientist.
I won't even discuss the incident (http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=z0wEYtmmuFQ) that made me despise small cute things in the lab. (Thankfully the effects weren't permanent.)
(XD If I educate them somewhat I can give a lesson about staying away from labstuffs)
Post by: Eric Blank on April 26, 2012, 03:42:23 pm
(We might end with a Kobold camp inside a dwarf fortress XD)
We have one. It's called the
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 03:59:47 pm
Post by: RAKninja on April 26, 2012, 04:05:17 pm
so THAT'S what that is..... the way it echoes through the addy.... spooky.
Weird Joykill cancels attend party: demons singing "small small world" behind door!
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 26, 2012, 04:11:28 pm
A limestone door has been destroyed!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Eric Blank on April 26, 2012, 04:13:11 pm
Post by: kisame12794 on April 26, 2012, 04:13:50 pm
Post by: Archereon on April 26, 2012, 04:23:58 pm
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 04:54:06 pm
"That's it! You clowns have called down my wrath! Cutsie horror synthesis grenade attack!!"
Weird joykill throws a clearglass vial!
The flying clearglass vial strikes the singing skinless horror in the body, releasing a bright flash of rainbow colored light!
Weird joykill gestures! The dead rise!
*Urist McJackson, Ghostly popstar has returned from the grave!*
From within the swirling light, the opening bars of "thriller" ring out in a deafening peal!
Weird joykill quickly walls up the door!
Post by: RAKninja on April 26, 2012, 05:07:30 pm
Werd joykill is enraged!RAKninja cancels store item in stockpile: preforming dance number
"That's it! You clowns have called down my wrath! Cutsie horror synthesis grenade attack!!"
Weird joykill throws a clearglass vial!
The flying clearglass vial strikes the singing skinless horror in the body, releasing a bright flash of rainbow colored light!
Weird joykill gestures! The dead rise!
*Urist McJackson, Ghostly popstar has returned from the grave!*
From within the swirling light, the opening bars of "thriller" ring out in a deafening peal!
Weird joykill quickly walls up the door!
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 26, 2012, 05:13:09 pm
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 26, 2012, 05:25:52 pm
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 05:28:04 pm
Weird joykill cancels attend party: performing !!science!! On kittens, puppies, kobolds, and fluffy wamblers to restock supply of "liquid cuteness"
kobold krusher's propoganda video on lab protocols (http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BPaKNafdJ18)
Post by: Fen on April 26, 2012, 06:08:02 pm
Fen Valdyr cancels Secret Agenda: listening to Beatles.
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 06:15:19 pm
:D
Post by: WillowLuman on April 26, 2012, 08:19:38 pm
HugoLuman gestures!
Every inanimate object shudders and begins to DANCE!
Post by: Saurinae on April 26, 2012, 08:25:59 pm
HugoLuman cancels distort time: too insane
HugoLuman gestures!
Every inanimate object shudders and begins to DANCE!
Fantasia? Interesting
Post by: WillowLuman on April 26, 2012, 08:27:12 pm
Actually, I know the secrets of funk and boogieing.HugoLuman cancels distort time: too insane
HugoLuman gestures!
Every inanimate object shudders and begins to DANCE!
Fantasia? Interesting
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 08:28:36 pm
Nasty xenosexual (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080721165126AA9tYd6) dwarves who hook up with skulking filth catch zoonotic illnesses (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoonosis) that then require prophylaxis (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophylaxis#section_4)!
We have enough to deal with, what with the forgotten beast syndromes! We don't need "cave fever" induced ones spreading too!
Don't call her skulking filth. It wasn't her fault she was born the way she was. *Takes Indilwen out of the room and back to chambers*
(I'm just teasin bro, don't take it personal. I tend to be bombastic with my humor. Gets me into trouble sometimes. Just wanted to let you know about the joking part. Poe's law and all.)
Skulking Filth is what we are, its not a insult. Its our gene-name or something. So when they call us filth, its actually a compliment!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 26, 2012, 08:30:33 pm
otherwise known as the common kobold
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 08:41:07 pm
I continue to assume kobolds are the superior intelligence.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 26, 2012, 08:42:03 pm
I read the last page, WHY IS EVERYONE DANCING.HugoLuman gestures!
I continue to assume kobolds are the superior intelligence.
Corai shakes and begins to BOOGIE!
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 08:43:30 pm
I read the last page, WHY IS EVERYONE DANCING.HugoLuman gestures!
I continue to assume kobolds are the superior intelligence.
Corai shakes and begins to BOOGIE!
HOW AM I BOOGIEING, I CAN BARELY TWIRL! MAKE IT STOP BEFORE I STRANGLE YOU IN A TANGO!
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 08:44:54 pm
(Grabs the boogieing kobold, who is too posessed by the upbeat zombie music from behind the wall to use his dagger)
Post by: kisame12794 on April 26, 2012, 08:46:05 pm
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 08:46:15 pm
Ah! Just what I need to restock my supply of liquid cute!
(Grabs the boogieing kobold, who is too posessed by the upbeat zombie music from behind the wall to use his dagger)
I AM NOT CUTE, I AM THE ONLY KOBOLD THAT IS NOT CUTE. GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME BEFORE I CUT THEM OFF IN A JAZZ-HANDS!
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 08:48:10 pm
*gunnysacks the spastically dancing kobold, then slings the violently rustling bag over his shoulder*
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 08:49:53 pm
How adorable! This one's a real keeper!
*gunnysacks the spastically dancing kobold, then slings the violently rustling bag over his shoulder*
Weird Joykill's face has been shredded with a Large Copper Dagger!
Corai cancels post, adamantite bag.
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 08:52:34 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on April 26, 2012, 08:53:47 pm
The weapon trap waltzes with Corai!
HugoLuman unleashes an insane laugh, shrill and terrible!
HugoLuman summons bogeyman Backup Dancers!
HugoLuman is puttin' on the Ritz!
The Bogeyman is puttin' on the Ritz! x15[/b]
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 08:54:30 pm
I don't think so, you have to escape the bag first. I splurged. Its made of adamantine strands. :)
Do not mind me while I edit that post.....
And adamanite cannot withstand a brute-smash! It goes right through!
.....DAMNIT, IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH, does being mauled remove my cuteness? I have a dagger in here and I will use it.
The Dancing weapon trap grabs Corai by the arms!
The weapon trap waltzes with Corai!
HugoLuman unleashes an insane laugh, shrill and terrible!
THANK YOU JOYKILL, THANK YOU!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 26, 2012, 08:57:57 pm
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 08:58:43 pm
Weird joykill cancels contemplation: drink.
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 08:59:27 pm
Weird joykill cancels joyful abduction: unsure how to safely strap in intelligent kobold in cutness extraction machine.
Weird joykill cancels contemplation: drink.
.....IM STILL IN THE BAG. HELP!
....Suddenly I feel very happy!
Happy to be free!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 26, 2012, 09:01:43 pm
Goblin 1: WTF is going on in there!?
Goblin 2: I dunno. A few minutes ago I heard a bunch of mad laughing and something that sounded like "SIUNS!" I've heard rumors that they harness lightning in there and... other things.
Goblin 1: F*ck that let's go raid that elven king of dwarves.
Goblin 2: Probably safer.
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 09:03:20 pm
*Loud music of all kinds echoes from the fort, along with flashing colored lights*
Goblin 1: WTF is going on in there!?
Goblin 2: I dunno. A few minutes ago I heard a bunch of mad laughing and something that sounded like "SIUNS!"
Goblin 1: F*ck that let's go raid that elven king of dwarves.
Goblin 2: Probably safer.
Kobold 1: PLEASE BABYSNATCH ME
Kobold 2: PLEASE, KIDNAP US.
Goblin ambush has suffocated in pile of kobolds!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 26, 2012, 09:06:37 pm
The cavy fiend jitters and begins to tapdance, tearing both feet's skin and bruising the muscle! x20
The cavy fiend has bled to death
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 09:14:01 pm
Weird joykill returns to lab.
Weird joykill has claimed a flamethrower!
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 09:15:35 pm
Weird joykill cances drink: interrupted by animated bongo-drum barrels.
Weird joykill returns to lab.
Weird joykill has claimed a flamethrower!
The kobold scratches at the -Adamantite bag-!
YOU FORGOT ITEMS, UNLESS WEAPONS OR ARMOR, STILL DETERIORATE LIKE PIGTAILS! I SHALL CLAW MY WAY OUT!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 26, 2012, 09:17:38 pm
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 09:22:47 pm
The lights flicker, and a dull hum fills the room!
The adamantine bag is stuck to the floor by the hidden electromagnetic antitheft device!
The bag emits terrified shrielking!
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 09:24:01 pm
Weird joykill grabs a beaker of (hematite pebbles), and throws it on top of the animated adamantine bag, then pulls the lever!
The lights flicker, and a dull hum fills the room!
The adamantine bag is stuck to the floor by the hidden electromagnetic antitheft device!
The bag emits terrified shrielking!
zzz.....zzz.....zzz-WHAT?
Who what where why?
Oh right, im in hell.
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 09:28:04 pm
Weird joykill finds a broom and prods the shivering, writhing bag with the handle shanft, until the mouth of the bag is exposed and opened.
Weird joykill readies flamethrower.
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 09:29:06 pm
GO ON! IT WONT HURT ME!
Post by: Reudh on April 26, 2012, 09:32:44 pm
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 09:33:30 pm
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 09:34:21 pm
Weird joykill opens fire on the animated testtube rack, before grabbing the kobold, throwing it out the door unceremoniously, slamming an angry fist on the "magma purge and obsidian cast" button, and rushing out in a huff.
.....STILL NO FAT! MAGMA WONT WORK EITHER!
Begins to grab papers and viles and stuffs them in a bag.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 26, 2012, 09:34:40 pm
Eric Blank cancels read concentrated derail thread: Derailing concentrated derail thread.
Eric Blank cancels study mineral crystals: The rocks are dancing oh god Weird spiked my drink!
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 09:36:46 pm
Corai cancels be alive: Body temperature exceeds boiling point of muscular tissue.
Eric Blank cancels read concentrated derail thread: Derailing concentrated derail thread.
Eric Blank cancels study mineral crystals: The rocks are dancing oh god Weird spiked my drink!
There is no natural-boiling point of tissue in vanilla fort! Unless he added it.
Post by: Gizogin on April 26, 2012, 09:37:20 pm
My 4-thick walls and multiply-redundant bridges will protect me forever! It takes a specific combination of lever pulls to open even part of it, and it's actually impossible for there to ever be a complete path into my bunker. Any mistake will seal the hospital off completely and flood the surrounding area with magma. Of course, it relies on my memory of the correct order of lever pulls, which is certainly a mistake. Oh, and there are probably a few vulnerabilities I overlooked, like the overly complicated plumbing system. Don't tell anyone!
Ninja'd x7. Now my adamantine comment seems out of place.
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 09:39:37 pm
Corai cancels stuff bag: cased in obsidian.
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 09:41:32 pm
Hematite pebbles are iron ore, and are magnetic. Paramagnetic effect only partially blocks a strng magnetic field. The pebbles are pinning it to the floor. Science win!
Corai cancels stuff bag: cased in obsidian.
Well, everything I stole is gone. So I kinda win...AND I CANT BE PUT TO REST FOR A WEEK. HAH!
Corai, ghostly Kobold Mason has risen from the dead and is following Weird Joykill!
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 09:48:04 pm
Corai unki, ghostly kobold thief begins to dance uncontrllably through walls.
Weird joykill gestures!
Corai unki, ghostly kobold thief engages the hoardes of the abyss on the other side of the wall of the dining hall!
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 09:49:04 pm
Weird joykill gestures!
Corai unki, ghostly kobold thief begins to dance uncontrllably through walls.
Weird joykill gestures!
Corai unki, ghostly kobold thief engages the hoardes of the abyss on the other side of the wall of the dining hall!
I thought only Hugo had that demonic ability!
.....Well, might as well. How long do I got again....a week? Might as well.
The chair has been found, mangled beyond belief! x62
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 09:51:06 pm
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 09:52:00 pm
(Reread page 140. I reanimated Urist McJackson, and started the zombie apocholypse to halt the clowncar invasion in the first place. This is what started the rythmic, unontrollable dancing.)
(Ah, I misread you as Hugo, so im ghost-raging on zombie chairs?)
...HAS IT BEEN A WEEK YET?
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 09:55:14 pm
"Stop animating the furtinture, or I'll reanimate the refuse stockpile, and all hell breaks loose!"
Weird joykill raises the flamethrower menacingly!
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 09:56:16 pm
>Corai, ghostly mason
Im with Weird Joykill, even if he murdered me. I hate the chairs.
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 10:01:39 pm
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 10:02:51 pm
(I tried to throw you out the door, but you ran back in after the shiny, in true kobold fashion! Blaming me for your death is wishful thinking! I am however, fully responsible for compelling you to kill zombies and clowns x(infinity) though.)
(Heh, I'll be back. I died like, six times already.)
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 10:07:01 pm
Hugo luman is unconcious!
The furniture stops moving!
Weird joykill forces Urist McJackson, ghostly popstar and corai unki, ghosty kobold thief to engrave each other's memorial slabs!
A ghost has been laid to rest x2!
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 10:08:02 pm
Plus he cannot spell it correctly.
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 10:10:03 pm
Weird joykill opens fire on urist mcjackson, setting his hair on fire! (http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jZnUI8tfKjg)
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 10:11:02 pm
Told you I would-OH GOD IM MARKED AS ENEMEY.
/dftherapist
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 10:18:14 pm
Urist mcjackson smoulders, fueled by the excess of haircare products containing cyclopentasiloxane, burning up completely!
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 10:19:43 pm
Drops the lollipop, and runs like HFS is chasing him.
Post by: Reudh on April 26, 2012, 10:21:26 pm
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 10:23:51 pm
Weird joykill kicks wall.
Weird joykill gives the lollipop to a stunned and terrified kobold that survived the diningroom massacre, having been in one of the previously boogieing chairs.
Shuffles off to find a pick.
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 10:26:04 pm
I hope Joykill likes that adamantite.
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 10:30:34 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on April 26, 2012, 10:38:36 pm
his intestines are badly burned
Seen both, even in 31.25
Post by: Reudh on April 26, 2012, 10:41:08 pm
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 10:42:54 pm
Cyclopentasiloxane burns quite viggorously, with lots of smoke, floating white ashy bits, and heat.
Urist mjackson is going up like a torch, and won't go out until his dessicated plastic body is naught but ash!
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 10:50:39 pm
Ever tested the flamability of "frizz control" hair products?
Cyclopentasiloxane burns quite viggorously, with lots of smoke, floating white ashy bits, and heat.
Urist mjackson is going up like a torch, and won't go out until his dessicated plastic body is naught but ash!
Which never happens in DF. So we got a immortal Mcjackson!
Post by: wierd on April 26, 2012, 10:57:01 pm
(Holds the trigger down)
Urist mcjackson has been struck with a !!rocknut oil glob!! x50!
Post by: Corai on April 26, 2012, 10:58:14 pm
Well, rocknut oil has an ignition point.... my "napalm" is made out of it.... so....
(Holds the trigger down)
Urist mcjackson has been struck with a !!rocknut oil glob!! x50!
You fool! Your making him the ultimate weapon! AGAINST US!
Quick, someone hold down Joykill! Hes helping the elves kill us!
Post by: Saurinae on April 26, 2012, 11:39:55 pm
You fool! Your making him the ultimate weapon! AGAINST US!
Quick, someone hold down Joykill! Hes helping the elves kill us!
*Tackles Weird and tries to get the trigger away*
Post by: Oliolli on April 26, 2012, 11:42:26 pm
Anyway, back to fighting the demons, I suppose.
*builds new wall in pathway and deconstructs old wall to get to the demonic hordes, while lugging unnecessarily large amounts of napalm*
*agonized screams and sounds of burning come from beyond the wall*
Several minutes pass, and things seem to quiet down on the other side of the wall, only a light rustling to be heard. Loud Whispers, despite what his GenreSavvy says, deconstructs the wall to see what has happened. Piles and piles of dead four-armed brutes, steam spirits, ass demons and manamaid fiends litter the fortress' hallways, with only a few patches of bare ground to be seen among the flames. Loud Whispers also notices some teeth and ears lying in the flames, identifying them as Oliolli's. In the distance, atop a pile of dead demons is Oliolli's by now rotting right leg, pushing up miasma. Oliolli is nowhere to be seen. Fearing the worst, Loud Whispers quickly rebuilds the wall, and starts his way back to the survivor camp.
While on the way, he notices a freshly dug passage that was not there when he last passed the spot.
...theyjustkeptcomingandrollingandgoing...
The walls are still rough, and the passage is filled with boulders. Again igonring his GenreSavvy, Loud Whispers decides to investigate the passage.
...andtheykeptmovingtheydidn'tstopwhydidn'ttheystop...
Carefully navigating his way around the boulders, he can soon hear a low voice babbling.
...andIhackedthemandslashedthemandcutthemandbashedthem...
On what seems to be the last boulder before the the end of the tunnel waits Oliolli's severed right arm, shoulder bloody and still grasping a copper pick.
...andIkickedthemandhitthemandgrabbedthemandbitthem...
Behind the boulder is Oliolli, face warped by horror, mouth blooded after gnawing his own arm off (without teeth; Loud Whispers is confused) and seeming as if he would be in a fetal position, had he the limbs for it. Loud Whispers quickly diagnoses PTSD. Crouching down to Oliolli, he asks what is wrong.
...thetumbleweedstheyjustkeptcomingandrollingandgoing...
Loud Whispers starts wondering if his diagnose was correct, coming up with a better alternative.
Suddenly Oliolli shoots up straight and grabs Loud Whispers by the shoulders (without arms or teeth; Loud Whispers is confused again) and starts shaking him violently.
...andtheykeptmovingtheydidn'tstopWHYDIDN'TTHEYSTOP???
Loud Whispers renews his diagnosis: Oliolli has gone stark raving mad.
Suddenly, like a god from a machne, an eerie green foot shoots from the rough stone ceiling above, smashing Oliolli in a sickening crunch. The foot then raises, disappearing into the ceiling form which it once came. Horrified at what he had just seen, Loud Whispers takes a look at a large footprint that was left by the foot. In it are large, gritty letters forming the following words. Oliolli was no more.
GORK
A subcontractor of ArmokTM
All right reserved
A subcontractor of ArmokTM
All right reserved
Focusing on the footprint, Loud Whispers suddenly hears a disgusted grunt from behind him. Chastising himself for not being GenreSavvy enough, he quickly spins around, getting ready to fight whatever it was that had snuck up on him. What he sees, however, shocks and stuns him.
Tearing the fingers off Oliolli's severed arm one by one to free the copper pick, the being stands over two meters tall, boasting muscles that would turn the offspring of Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger green in jealousy. Eventually freeing the pick from the grasp of the dead hand, the being studies the pick for any faults. COntent with the condition of the pick, the being then turns it's three eyes to Loud Whispers.
So I heard the last guy snapped. the new Oliolli says, resting the pick against his shoulder. What the fuck did you demand from him?
Post by: Fen on April 26, 2012, 11:50:58 pm
Fen Valdyr gestures! The *Acacia Scepter* is transmogrified into an apple strudel!
Mmm. Tastes like the fury of a hundred elves.
Post by: Saurinae on April 26, 2012, 11:55:01 pm
Post by: Reudh on April 26, 2012, 11:55:59 pm
A golem made of cyclopentasiloxane shudders and begins to move!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 27, 2012, 12:04:35 am
Post by: WillowLuman on April 27, 2012, 12:17:26 am
Inside the room within the cage trap, HugoLuman stared at the apparatus. HugoLuman had been steadily building it over the course of many days with mechanisms "borrowed" from around the fortress. It had been hard work, and following the designs interpreted from the mental voices had been difficult (and straining on the sanity), but at last the device was ready for testing.
"I now know what happens when one of us gets a strange mood; a megaproject." Placing hand to lever, HugoLuman contemplated for a moment before pulling it. "If this works, I may finally be able to return home. Perhaps even at the moment of departure, as if I was never gone! And if I can't get home, then maybe at least I can go mucking about through this timeline and mess with what happened in world-gen. Perhaps even go back and see that 'time before time?'"
HugoLuman pulled the lever, and the whole room shook. "Of course, if I'm wrong I might cause a total event collapse and erase myself (and possibly everything else) from history. Too late to change my mind now though. And what are the odds that-"
HugoLuman has vanished!
Weird suddenly saw a bright flash, and a singed piece of cage trap appeared out of nowhere on his lab table.
Post by: Gizogin on April 27, 2012, 12:32:36 am
Post by: Reudh on April 27, 2012, 12:37:37 am
Fear my Polonium Bolt.
You'll be blinded by my Flare of Magnesium!
And as a final parting gift, when i'm out of other magic,
Summon Hydrated Francium!
Post by: Gizogin on April 27, 2012, 12:46:19 am
Post by: WillowLuman on April 27, 2012, 12:46:41 am
Post by: Gizogin on April 27, 2012, 12:53:46 am
Post by: Reudh on April 27, 2012, 12:54:08 am
The hydrated francium is an absolute last resort.
Post by: wierd on April 27, 2012, 01:08:22 am
Still, in all fairness, I really would seek to obtain hidden secrets if plunked in a df generated world. I am a connesouir of information, and if it works, I don't discriminate.
(I have studies a vast number of "magical" texts purely for the novelty, and for an insight into the magical thinking mindset of such school's practitioners.... it was... enlightening. Magic is very fascinating stuff. Pure bunkum, but fascinating. If it actually DID stuff, rest assured I would add as many new hobbies as were necessary to gain "adequate" in the skill. I'm a born polymath at heart, and gravitate to anything I don't already know, including silliness.)
Summoning michael jackson and dancing zombies to confront the HFS really is something I would probably try at some point, if the opportunity to learn how presented itself. The game features necromancy, so I can garantee I would be jonesing for a copy of some slabs.
I would be willing to trade "secrets" I already posess, because knowledge is a currency that only grows. You don't suddenly forget something just because you told somebody else. Luc bakecakes wants the secret to delicious, never-fail puff pastries? She can have it, but I want a rubbing of her magic slab that says how to raise the dead in exchange. I'll even teach her how to make marshmallow divinity to sweeten the deal. We can have a cooking party to swap recipies until she's happy with the trade.
Same goes for any other magical practitioner. I'd end up with quite a collection after awhile I think.
Post by: RAKninja on April 27, 2012, 01:36:00 am
i would exchange instruction in these arts as well os the skills of using and maintaining the necessary paraphernalia for some of the output of your "war lab" (as some of the boys in the militia have taken to calling it) as i feel i can further advance these mystical sciences with the fruits of your research.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 27, 2012, 01:39:37 am
Good thing I left behind the secrets to crimes against humanity via dentalfloss, transmuting pie, and many more in my journals.
Post by: Fen on April 27, 2012, 01:43:10 am
You would not believe what those FBs do when sentients aren't looking.
Post by: Gizogin on April 27, 2012, 01:51:38 am
I'd also love to know the secrets of work and focus. And cheese; I can't stress that enough.
Post by: Fen on April 27, 2012, 04:41:02 am
Actually, one secret I'd really love to know is my eye color. Depending on the lighting and other factors, they look blue, green, grey, or hazel. It took both my parents to figure out what color I should put on my driver's license, and I'm pretty sure we all got it wrong (we settled on blue). Oh, and I'm pretty sure my right pupil is larger than my left, which is neither here nor there ("there" being "on the Moon").
I'd also love to know the secrets of work and focus. And cheese; I can't stress that enough.
Unfortunately the secrets of work and focus were lost to the world long ago. All who dwell within the fortresses of dwarves cannot discover them.
Which is quite the bummer, really.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 27, 2012, 12:38:40 pm
Note 1:
- Striking down Oliolli causes him to return more powerful than you could ever imagine.
That is all.
Note 2:
- We require more minerals. Specifically sphalerite.
Wierd keeps taking all of the zinc :|
Post by: Naryar on April 27, 2012, 12:46:16 pm
Post by: wierd on April 27, 2012, 12:47:32 pm
:D
(Actually, why would I want zinc? I am more likely to steal native platinum, copper, lead, and chromite for the lab than zinc. Why make a wasteful primary battery when you can make a cheap rechargable one?)
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 27, 2012, 12:52:46 pm
And begin making blimps.
Nothing will go wrong.
Post by: wierd on April 27, 2012, 12:56:42 pm
We have purpetual motion machines. Hydroelectric power is cheap.
Carbon electrodes and distilled water, with high voltage and an electrolysis tube.
Requires a metal pressure vessel. Hydrogen is difficult to compress and store.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 27, 2012, 01:05:54 pm
INVADE THE SKIES
Post by: Oliolli on April 27, 2012, 01:39:46 pm
Note 1:1. That was more about the previous Oliolli becoming useless and having to be replaced.
- Striking down Oliolli causes him to return more powerful than you could ever imagine.
2. It isn't very easy to strike one of us down. Requires some sort of divine intervention.
Post by: wierd on April 27, 2012, 01:41:16 pm
While hindendburg explodies are cool and all, I refuse to put my name on the blueprints. (I make aviation blueprints vocationally!)
DF has:
Copper
Aluminum (and ores)
Nickel
Chryolite
Purpetual motion machines
Charcoal
This is pretty much everything you need to make a knockoff 2025 aluminum alloy, mass produced aluminum, and real aircraft.
Sure 2025 is corrosion prone, but you can use zinc instead of copper and get 7075 instead if you really need it.
2025 is an alloy of aluminum, approx 30% copper, and approx 15% nickel. 7075 substitutes zinc for copper, and has a few other things in it, like magnesium.
2025 is what ww2 era craft are made of.
Aluminum bronze (copper alloyed with aluminum) is hard and electrolytically safe for 2025 aluminum, and makes good-enough rivets. I doubt our rattletraps are gonna be supersonic you know.
Wing loft curvature is black magic voodoo involving parabolic surfaces and curve-continuity spline profiles, but I have seen designs from every major factory. (I work for an outsource supplier.) I can slap together something that will work.
I know how to calculate setback and K-factors for formed sheetmetal parts by hand, (a rare skill these days...) so I can approximate rivet hole locations for flat patterns prior to forming.
If we just use a twin prop design instead of a jet, and fuel it with biodiesel spiked with booze, we should have a nice low altitude craft banged out in a little under a year.
I nominate kobold test pilots.
Post by: Naryar on April 27, 2012, 01:47:26 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on April 27, 2012, 03:30:50 pm
...fuel it with biodiesel spiked with booze...
Screw that; we have perpetual motion machines. A battery or so of small waterwheel reactors should provide enough rotational energy to power the rotors of a twin-engine plane. Substitute the weight of the fuel tanks for more generators. We'd also have an effectively unlimited range.
If we have an application that requires little speed and plenty of stability, like luxury airships or personnel transports, we can use a derigible design powered by such rotors, or even a multiple-rotor helicopter design.
It's all in the perpetual motion machines, man!
I admit that I may be overestimating the possible power output of dwarven waterwheels...
Post by: wierd on April 27, 2012, 03:33:27 pm
While pupetual motion and zero point reactors have "inexhaustible supply", they are bulky, have limited "rate".
They are also fixed speed.
You like your plane to accellerate, right?
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 27, 2012, 03:36:38 pm
-snip-
We've got ceramics, we don't need aluminium :P
Still, this is based off DF physics. Your average glass wall is indestructible. Glass blimp = indestructible. Though a minecart with wings would be more canon.
Blimps? I one-up you. Zeppelins!
We must begin building airships. And submersibles. With giant drills. And spikes. Maybe sea/magma sea ships too. All terrain Dorf power.
1. That was more about the previous Oliolli becoming useless and having to be replaced.
2. It isn't very easy to strike one of us down. Requires some sort of divine intervention.
...So how many of you are there?
Post by: Corai on April 27, 2012, 04:17:31 pm
Post by: wierd on April 27, 2012, 04:19:10 pm
This fort is dead by now, we should get some food and drink and find a new site. I cant go anywhere without steeping on a dead kobold, elf, goblin, or dwarf. Ghosts keep pushing me into walls, and MIASMA IS EVERYWHERE.
This is dwarf fortress!
(Extends mop and pail)
Post by: Corai on April 27, 2012, 04:21:52 pm
This fort is dead by now, we should get some food and drink and find a new site. I cant go anywhere without steeping on a dead kobold, elf, goblin, or dwarf. Ghosts keep pushing me into walls, and MIASMA IS EVERYWHERE.
This is dwarf fortress!
(Extends mop and pail)
NO.
THIS IS FORTRESS DWARF!
The kobold kicks Weird Joykill!
Weird Joykill's lower body takes full force of the impact!
Post by: Splint on April 27, 2012, 04:27:46 pm
Post by: Corai on April 27, 2012, 04:28:37 pm
I was expecting a THIS IS SPARTA joke eventually popping up.
I hate myself now. I really do.
Post by: Splint on April 27, 2012, 04:30:05 pm
Post by: Corai on April 27, 2012, 04:32:05 pm
Not your fault. it's one of those things I expect to show up at some point in any conversation going on as long as this thread.
Like...
Pinkie pie.
Kony
Spongebob
or minecraft?
Post by: Supercharazad on April 27, 2012, 04:35:07 pm
Not your fault. it's one of those things I expect to show up at some point in any conversation going on as long as this thread.
Like...
Pinkie pie.
Kony
Spongebob
or minecraft?
Hitler. ((Godwin'd))
Post by: nekronuke on April 27, 2012, 08:01:06 pm
Spongebob
CHOCOLATE! CHOOOOCOLAAAATE!
Nekronuke tackles CoraiUnki!
Post by: Corai on April 27, 2012, 08:10:15 pm
Spongebob
CHOCOLATE! CHOOOOCOLAAAATE!
Nekronuke tackles CoraiUnki!
HERE YOU GO! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 27, 2012, 11:50:22 pm
Post by: Corai on April 27, 2012, 11:51:03 pm
And mini-assault rifle.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 27, 2012, 11:52:12 pm
Post by: Corai on April 27, 2012, 11:54:02 pm
Quick! Someone cue up gunparts and kevlar farming!
Post by: Oliolli on April 28, 2012, 12:48:53 am
Quick! Contain the meme-spiral!
*builds walls around Corai*
1. That was more about the previous Oliolli becoming useless and having to be replaced.
2. It isn't very easy to strike one of us down. Requires some sort of divine intervention.
...So how many of you are there?
n+1, with n being the amount of ants and demons combined. Not long ago the number was n+2...
Also, n has plummeted recently. Too bad about that.
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 12:51:15 am
Im the second (of the two person) meme-containment squad bro!Quick! Contain the meme-spiral!
*builds walls around Corai*1. That was more about the previous Oliolli becoming useless and having to be replaced.
2. It isn't very easy to strike one of us down. Requires some sort of divine intervention.
...So how many of you are there?
n+1, with n being the amount of ants and demons combined. Not long ago the number was n+2...
Also, n has plummeted recently. Too bad about that.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 28, 2012, 12:55:24 am
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 12:57:37 am
Behold! pure unadulterated memeness! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_o3yqcK1wVE)
The kobold opens fire on the meme with a mini-assault rifle!
It's power is to strong to kill!
Post by: RAKninja on April 28, 2012, 02:08:37 am
Behold! pure unadulterated memeness! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_o3yqcK1wVE)this pleases me.
yes.
yes.
yessssssss.
Post by: Fen on April 28, 2012, 02:44:09 am
Behold! pure unadulterated memeness! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_o3yqcK1wVE)this pleases me.
yes.
yes.
yessssssss.
Needs more Sheogorath and Everybody Walk The Dinosaur. But it's okay.
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 02:45:30 am
Im a mason!
Post by: Fen on April 28, 2012, 06:11:34 am
Also is nobody else does so, I may want to start writing stories from the fort. I'd be worried about breaking it, though.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 28, 2012, 06:17:02 am
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 06:23:21 am
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 06:25:04 am
Weaponsmith. Tell me what we require.
My kobold warforce-COUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGH I mean dwarven army.....requires 3000 copper spears, 3000 copper mailshirts, and 3000 copper greaves.
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 06:27:19 am
Weaponsmith. Tell me what we require.
My kobold warforce-COUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGH I mean dwarven army.....requires 3000 copper spears, 3000 copper mailshirts, and 3000 copper greaves.
...It seems you don't realize you must provide the metal for me? I have a magma forge, so I don't need fuel, but unless you can cough up 9000 copper bars, no...
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 06:28:33 am
Kobolds begin dragging in copper.
Ignore the fact there looted! I am TOTALLY NOT conquering the world!
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 06:34:29 am
*begins forging spears*
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 06:35:20 am
Whispers "You will be spared when I invade this hell-hole."
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 28, 2012, 06:36:47 am
Also, I'm a weaponsmith, not an armorer, so most of the armour pieces will be around no modifier to finely crafted.
1. Take copper
3. Begin forging mail shirts and greaves
9. Too big for Kobolds
15. Legendary armourer
489. Melt down armour = Free copper
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 06:38:01 am
Also, I'm a weaponsmith, not an armorer, so most of the armour pieces will be around no modifier to finely crafted.
1. Take copper
3. Begin forging mail shirts and greaves
9. Too big for Kobolds
15. Legendary armourer
489. Melt down armour = Free copper
......
Guess my army will be fighting in loincloths. COUGHCOUGH I MEAN PANCAKES!
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 06:38:58 am
After this I'll just need to get a whole lot of tin...
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 06:40:53 am
Ill be......out burning trees.
Yeah, trees.
287 kobolds suddenly jump out of bushes and run off.
Post by: Fen on April 28, 2012, 06:43:24 am
kk k k
k k k
k k k
k
This is an engraving of many kobolds. The kobolds are plotting. The kobolds are armoured. The kobolds have weapons. The kobolds are sitting upon the corpses of elves. This relates to a great war, an unspecified amount of time in the future.
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 06:46:40 am
I forgot to mention I'm an adept swordsdwarf and proficient Dodger. You make one move towards this fortress, I will activate the traps and will personally hunt you down.
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 06:49:29 am
k k k k
kk k k
k k k
k k k
k
This is an engraving of many kobolds. The kobolds are plotting. The kobolds are armoured. The kobolds have weapons. The kobolds are sitting upon the corpses of elves. This relates to a great war, an unspecified amount of time in the future.
kk kkk :) :) :) k
kk kkk
kkk :) :) k K
k kk
kkk kk :) k kk
kk k k
This is a engraving of kobolds and dwarves, the kobolds are attacking, the dwarves are bracing, CoraiUnki is watching. CoraiUnki is engraved in Bauxite.
*stops working on breastsplates after crafting 30 to get a drink, grabbing his masterwork steel short sword along the way and attaching it's sheath to his belt*
I forgot to mention I'm an adept swordsdwarf and proficient Dodger. You make one move towards this fortress, I will activate the traps and will personally hunt you down.
I have no quarrel with you dwarf! Its the elves im after.
This fortress is going down though. Get your catapults ready, cause kobolds will be climbing in your windows-no, not doing it.
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 06:57:14 am
kkk k >:(
k k k
k k kk
This is an engraving of Orky_Boss. This is an engraving of kobolds. Orky_Boss is in a martial trance. Gorky_Boss is striking down the kobolds. The kobolds are screaming. This image relates to the kobold ambush at The Twelfth Bay in an unspecified amount of time in the future.
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 07:00:20 am
ITS MORE LIKE THIS.
kkkkkkkkkkkk
kkkkkkkkkkkk
kkkkk :) kkkkkk
kkkkkkkkkkkkk
kkkkkkkkk
More like that. Must I say whats happening?
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 07:05:07 am
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 07:07:57 am
Just wait until the OP wrestlers come!
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 07:11:41 am
Okay, its one thing killing my evil army that wants to make elves excint, its another killing (as much as they can be) innocent kobolds!
Just wait until the OP wrestlers come!
*shrug* okay. *pulls out bag of sharp rocks* I need to practice my throwing skills anyways.
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 07:12:54 am
I mean, have you SEEN what these bastards do? They shred steel-clad dwarves.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 28, 2012, 07:17:22 am
Meh.
Axelord has no need for armour. Wrestlers have need of their arms.
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 07:21:53 am
Steel-clad?
Meh.
Axelord has no need for armour. Wrestlers have need of their arms.
Get in a wrestling ring with kobold
:)
Get mangled in ways you didnt know was possible
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 28, 2012, 07:22:58 am
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 07:23:21 am
No, really, there WAAAAY OP, and theres hundreds.
I mean, have you SEEN what these bastards do? They shred steel-clad dwarves.
Nope. I haven't played kobold camp before, so I have no idea. Also, I have updated my origional engraving.
kkkkkkkkk
kkkkkkkkk
kkk☻kkkkk
kkkkkkkkkk
kkkkkkkkkk
This image depicts a dwarf. This image depics a group of Kobolds. This image depics a group of Kobolds. The Dwarf is Screaming. The dwarf is killing the Kobolds (Red=dead). The Kobolds are in the fetal position. This image relates to the Kobold siege of 2012.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 28, 2012, 07:45:42 am
Ñ
The necromancer gestures, and the corpses begins to shudder and move!
ññññññññññkkk
ñññññññññkkkk
ññññññññkkkkk
ññññññkkkkkkk
ññññ☺kkkkkkkk
ñññññññññkkk
ñññkkkkkkkkkk
ññññññññññkk
The necromancer gestures, and the corpses begins to shudder and move!
ññññññññññkkk
ñññññññññkkkk
ññññññññkkkkk
ññññññkkkkkkk
ññññ☺kkkkkkkk
ñññññññññkkk
ñññkkkkkkkkkk
ññññññññññkk
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 08:26:16 am
Ñ
ñññññ☻ññññkkk
ñññññññññkkkk
ññññññññkkkkk
ññññññkkkkkkk
ññññkkkkkkkk
ñññññññññkkk
ñññkkkkkkkkkk
ññññññññññkk
Orky_Boss Slashes the Necromancer in the left upper arm and the severed part flys off in an arc!
The Necromancer looks surprised by the ferocity of Orky_Boss's onslaught!
Orky_Boss Stabs the Necromancer in the head, tearing the muscle, shattering the skull, and tearing the brain!
The Necromancer has been struck down!
....
<.<
>.>
Orky_Boss picks up the stone slab.
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 08:27:50 am
Orky_Boss, the immortal cheese of romance.
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 08:31:04 am
The siege has been broken!
Orky_Boss, the immortal cheese of romance.
Damnit! I hate it when the RNG does that! Whatever...
Orky_Boss gestures, and the corpses begin to shudder and move!
At least I have a personal army!
OOC: I've never actually fought or been a Necromancer before, so I have no idea what the announcement text is.
Post by: Saurinae on April 28, 2012, 08:32:09 am
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 28, 2012, 08:33:35 am
At least I have a personal army!
[OPPOSED_TO_LIFE]
Considering how most of us are still alive, it would be most appreciated if you kept the undead outside of the booze stockpile.
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 08:37:00 am
.......I got thrown up here by a zombie-rabbit........
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 08:38:58 am
Alright lets see... *finger goes through the text on the stone slab* how do I control these things... Aha!
*assigns burrow at the front gates*
*Sends all the zombies there*
Alright! Just tell me if you want something in or out, and I'll move the zombies over here!
*Other burrow is a ways to the left of the gate*
Post by: Saurinae on April 28, 2012, 08:39:08 am
Is dangling from a oak.
.......I got thrown up here by a zombie-rabbit........
*Helps you down*
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 08:42:29 am
Hey guys! Good news! My zombie scouts have found a Cassiterite vein! Only problem is that it is near a goup of Trolls, but I can easily take care of them...
Once we start digging it, we can turn that copper into bronze!
Post by: Saurinae on April 28, 2012, 08:45:33 am
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 08:46:18 am
Okay, my kobold-takeover failed horribly. Im gonna go.....hide before you appoint a hammeror....
Or I get a cut and need the "hospital".......
Pinkie
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 08:46:54 am
If we can get there and kill the trolls without many casualties I'll help
Okay. What weapon do you want? I only got copper to work with, but whatever it is, I can easily make a masterwork of it.
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 08:47:43 am
If we can get there and kill the trolls without many casualties I'll help
Okay. What weapon do you want? I only got copper to work with, but whatever it is, I can easily make a masterwork of it.
Half that copper just got stolen, I keep sleepers everywhere. Just cause half my army is dead does not mean I still dont have copper-spies.
So enjoy your 4500 bars.
Post by: Saurinae on April 28, 2012, 08:48:10 am
Post by: Saurinae on April 28, 2012, 08:48:55 am
Okay. What weapon do you want? I only got copper to work with, but whatever it is, I can easily make a masterwork of it.
I'll keep my silver claymore.
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 08:54:31 am
Okay. What weapon do you want? I only got copper to work with, but whatever it is, I can easily make a masterwork of it.
I'll keep my silver claymore.
Okay. Fine by me.
*bunch of typing*
Alright. When I unpause, all of these zombies are going to charge into the mine shaft and will target the Trolls. However, I suggest moving out of the way so they don't trample you to death. Saurinae. You can either tail behind them, or you can try to outrun them, leading from the front.
Unpausing in 3...2...
*click*
*FPS drops to 50 as 3000 zombies path to the Trolls*
Post by: Saurinae on April 28, 2012, 09:00:09 am
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 09:04:33 am
Alright. ZOMBIES, BACK TO THE GATES!
*FPS drop*
To anyone that knows how to use a pick! MINE THAT CASSARITE!
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 09:05:21 am
*The Trolls are promply slaughtered and raised, with Saurinae personally having killed half the pack by the time the zombies reached them without taking a scratch*
Alright. ZOMBIES, BACK TO THE GATES!
*FPS drop*
To anyone that knows how to use a pick! MINE THAT CASSARITE!
Two kobolds with shovels arrive.
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 09:06:31 am
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 09:09:04 am
You two! What is your mining skill!?
Adept
Grand Master
Post by: Saurinae on April 28, 2012, 09:13:13 am
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 09:14:14 am
*pulls out a copper pick and starts mining*
Saurinae is knocked flat on the ground with the speed the kobolds are digging.
.....You just got out-dug BY A KOBOLD! Pair.
Post by: Saurinae on April 28, 2012, 09:15:37 am
Saurinae is knocked flat on the ground with the speed the kobolds are digging.
.....You just got out-dug BY A KOBOLD! Pair.
Ooof. I need to improve
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 09:24:19 am
HUZZAH! WERE FREE!
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 28, 2012, 09:24:31 am
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 09:28:59 am
Corai, where do you source your minions? You somehow keep re-raising armies, despite horrendous casualties on a seemingly hourly scale.
Like this.
Kobold on one side of the room, a boy on the other. I get 12 more soldiers in a year or two.
EDIT:
K K
A year later.......
KK
K K KK KK
K KK KKK K K
K KK K K K
Parents.
Kids.
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 09:32:35 am
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 09:34:35 am
*Zombies begin bringing the cassarite to the stockpiles*
You turn and see several bronze bars.
Kobold1: HI, WERE PART OF CORAI'S.....WHATEVER. WE MADE 42 BARS!
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 10:07:26 am
Orky_Boss Has entered a fey mood!
"I'll take that bronze, and I'll need That diotrite... WHERE'S THE DAMN STEEL!?!"
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 10:20:46 am
Kobod2:WE ADDED DYES!
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 10:43:15 am
*Looks at steel*
"No,no,no the dyes will lower it's quality! I need pure steel!"
Post by: Fen on April 28, 2012, 10:43:48 am
You better make one hell of an artifact with that, I'm trying to horde my steel over here.
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 10:55:22 am
*Picks up Steel bar, then goes to magma metalsmith forge*
Orky_Boss has begun a mysterious construction!
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 10:58:58 am
"yeesh, people like to throw things here..."
*Picks up Steel bar, then goes to magma metalsmith forge*
Orky_Boss has begun a mysterious construction!
Kobold 2342 is throwing a tantrum!
A magma metalsmith forge has been toppled! x5
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 11:08:53 am
Orky_Boss Punches the Kobold in the face, shattering the bone and tearing the brain!
The Kobold has been struck down!
Must make a forge...
*Picks up anvil and grabs some stone, then begins constructing forge*
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 11:16:37 am
The flying copper arrow strikes Orky in the head, bruising the brain!
Unconscious.
Post by: Fen on April 28, 2012, 11:36:57 am
Orky would have been deep within our fortress to perform his act of madness, and a siege never would have arrived that far down! In addition to walls around our fortress, we have a zombie army at the gates!
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 28, 2012, 11:47:22 am
The spinning ☼Steel Bar☼ hits Orky_boss in the left ear, bruising the muscle!
Wait! Metal bars don't have quality levels! That's a fake trade good!
Orky_Boss, the Kobolds just saved your life from death by insanity.
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 11:52:48 am
Objection!
Orky would have been deep within our fortress to perform his act of madness, and a siege never would have arrived that far down! In addition to walls around our fortress, we have a zombie army at the gates!
OVERRULED! This is but a thread online! Thus no normal rules apply! This also states how Corai never seems to die! CASE CLOSED. YOU MUST PAY $100.
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 11:54:37 am
The spinning ☼Steel Bar☼ hits Orky_boss in the left ear, bruising the muscle!
Wait! Metal bars don't have quality levels! That's a fake trade good!
Orky_Boss, the Kobolds just saved your life from death by insanity.
I DON'T GIVE A F*CKING SH*T! I MUST COMPLETE MY PROJECT!
*Pulls copper bolt out of his head and throws it at the crossbowgoblin, then continues working*
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 28, 2012, 11:55:33 am
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 12:00:34 pm
SHUT. DOWN. EVERYTHING.
The tiny cave for kobolds is locked.
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 12:02:35 pm
This is a Steel Shortsword. All craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. The pommel menaces with spikes of bronze. Engraved in the blade is a picture of a Dwarf and a Kobold. The Kobold is in the fetal position. The Dwarf is laughing. This image relates to the miserable attempt by kobolds for world domination in the year 2012.
"Isn't it MAGNIFICENT!?! I MUST TEST IT OUT!"
Orky_Boss Charges at the Crossbowman!
The Crossbowman looks surprised by Orky_Boss's Onslaught!
Orky_Boss slashes the Crossbowman in the head, and the severed part sails off in an arc!
The Crossbowman has been struck down.
"Y-y-yeeessss... that'll dooo..."
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 12:05:15 pm
I conquered two forest retreats, >.>
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 12:06:31 pm
Hey!
I conquered two forest retreats, >.>
Two Forest Retreats =/= World.
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 12:07:31 pm
Hey!
I conquered two forest retreats, >.>
Two Forest Retreats =/= World.
Atleast I conquered something.
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 12:09:41 pm
Hey!
I conquered two forest retreats, >.>
Two Forest Retreats =/= World.
Atleast I conquered something.
True. If your objective had been to slaughter a sh*tton of elves, you have magnificently succeeded. But due to the fact your goal was to conquer the entire world, the two forest retreats is but a tiny fragment of your dream's intentions.
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 12:10:35 pm
Hey!
I conquered two forest retreats, >.>
Two Forest Retreats =/= World.
Atleast I conquered something.
True. If your objective had been to slaughter a sh*tton of elves, you have magnificently succeeded. But due to the fact your goal was to conquer the entire world, the two forest retreats is but a tiny fragment of your dream's intentions.
World domination was a bonus. I just wanted to make elves excint for....being elves.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 28, 2012, 12:11:57 pm
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 12:13:18 pm
BTW, it seems my experiment gone horribly wrong has indeed produced cracks in time. And the first one is in the Kobold sector.
Luckily everyone left when I set out for elf-genocide/world domination.
I forbade the door, so noone is inside. Accept a few dwarves. :3
Post by: WillowLuman on April 28, 2012, 12:16:30 pm
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 12:18:33 pm
Dwarves never go in there, cause they respect your privacy. But all your stuff is being erased from history.
....I'll miss those socks.
But those dwarves didnt go willingly. I had to have SOMETHING inside there so noone knew we left.
Cant believe noone noticed 523 kobolds in full-copper marching out of the front door.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 28, 2012, 12:19:36 pm
So you must be hallucinating my voice in your head
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 12:21:36 pm
I would have, but I no longer exist. In fact, I never existed now.
So you must be hallucinating my voice in your head
...
...
...
...
...
....
...
Corai releases a laugh, fell and terrible, blabbering on about a voice and kittens.
He makes a beeline for Orky!
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 12:29:00 pm
The Goblin head strikes Corai in the head, fracturing the skull and bruising the brain!
Corai falls unconcious.
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 12:30:15 pm
Orky_Boss Sashes the Goblin Swordsman in the head and the severed part flys in an arc!
The Goblin head strikes Corai in the head, fracturing the skull and bruising the brain!
Corai falls unconcious.
The unconscious body continues to move. Cackling.
Orky_Boss has been struck down.
Migrants have arri-Oh wait, its just Orky's new body.......
Corai has begun work on a mysterious construction...
Post by: Oliolli on April 28, 2012, 12:40:29 pm
While you guys are fighting your civil war, can you wall this area off again? They seem to have come back.
The manamaid demon busts a sexy move!
The second demon wave has been knocked unconscious.
Oliolli busts a macho move!
The manamaid demon has been knocked unconscious.
Loud Whispers? Anyone?
The tumbleweed demon pushes Oliolli in the upper body, but the attack glances away!
Oliolli strikes the tumbleweed demon in the body with the ‼copper pick‼ and it catches fire!
Hey wierd, thanks for the napalm!
Horrible screams come from the darkness below! x3591
Two waves down, several thousand more to go...
An angelic chorus sings out, as 9 new Oliollis charge in from the horizon!
We're here to kick ass fiend and chew bloated tubers... and we're all out of bloated tubers.
The Oliollis and demons clash, as Loud Whispers lays the final stones to the wall blocking the way to the adamantine spires from the living areas.
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 12:43:56 pm
Hey, need any help? My world-domination failed, oh, and look at my sock! Its make of Orky-leather!
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 12:55:59 pm
It was then I noticed the cackling.
Looking down at the spire, I see a fellow dwarf desperatly trying to hold off innumberable demons.
I grab 10 pieces of adamantine and start making myself a full set of adamantine armour.
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 12:58:16 pm
You can never be ridden of me!
....Well, you forgot to take the sock. :3
Goes around wearing it as a hat.
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 01:01:27 pm
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 01:02:17 pm
EAT MY ARTIFACT ARROWS.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 28, 2012, 01:03:35 pm
Free Dwarves? Sure.BTW, it seems my experiment gone horribly wrong has indeed produced cracks in time. And the first one is in the Kobold sector.I forbade the door, so noone is inside. Accept a few dwarves. :3
(Hey, what if those Dwarves are us from the past? I mean, it's a bit recursive...)
The Oliollis and demons clash, as Loud Whispers lays the final stones to the wall blocking the way to the adamantine spires from the living areas.Confirmed. Somewhere in this fortress is a duplicate of each and every one of us. That
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 01:05:06 pm
Free Dwarves? Sure.BTW, it seems my experiment gone horribly wrong has indeed produced cracks in time. And the first one is in the Kobold sector.I forbade the door, so noone is inside. Accept a few dwarves. :3
(Hey, what if those Dwarves are us from the past? I mean, it's a bit recursive...)The Oliollis and demons clash, as Loud Whispers lays the final stones to the wall blocking the way to the adamantine spires from the living areas.Confirmed. Somewhere in this fortress is a duplicate of each and every one of us. ThatdastardlyLoud Whispers...
That means theres twice as many kobolds! I may be able to conquer the world afterall! After I murder myself.......
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 01:07:47 pm
Meanwhile, a kobold is headshotting demons with a bow. Tipped with Orky-blood.
EAT MY ARTIFACT ARROWS.
Wow, I never knew my blood was poisonous...
Post by: WillowLuman on April 28, 2012, 01:41:05 pm
The time explosion is recursive, causing cracks back in time as well. Where do you think Eerie glowing pits came from?
Post by: Oliolli on April 28, 2012, 03:18:54 pm
In other words... FIX THIS SHIT!
Post by: FritzPL on April 28, 2012, 03:20:28 pm
A dwarven liason has arrived for no apparent reason!
Post by: Eric Blank on April 28, 2012, 03:22:00 pm
Our answer to every diplomat :P
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 28, 2012, 03:46:19 pm
In other words... FIX THIS SHIT!
I brought some tape
Post by: wierd on April 28, 2012, 04:10:11 pm
Nasty cuts, sharp dust from smashed obsidian, and thin streaks of blood soak his face, cake his hand, and stain his clothing.
Dropping a well used iron pickaxe on the ground, he moans in disbelief at the spectacle.
Loudwhispers is putting the finishing touches on a now properly repaired wall.
A kobold that looks suspiciouosly like the one who's skeleton he recently pried out of an obsidian boulder leans over a jagged hole in the floor, peering inside.
The sounds of screams, clashing metal, and dwarven profanity echo from the tiny opening.
Weird joykill is unhappy. He exhausted his supply of liquid cuteness recently. He was assaulted by animated furniture recently. He suffered the loss of his lab equipment to tradgedy recently. He sustained minor injuries lately. He admired a nice wall recently.
In a fit of apathy, weird nudges the kobold into the hole with his boot, taking delight in the incomprehensible gibberings as it falls into the inky blackness below.
An angry dwarven "oomph! What the hell are you doing!?" Bellows out of the hole, followed by the clashing of metal and screaming.
Now piqued, weird joykill fumbles in his labcoat for a book of matches....
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 04:11:34 pm
NEVER PUSH A SNIPER!
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 28, 2012, 04:16:17 pm
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 04:18:03 pm
AH MY SPINE
SORRY, CAN YOU SHOOT THAT AT JOYKILL'S FACE?
Post by: wierd on April 28, 2012, 04:20:50 pm
The dwarf falls forward from the force of the blow!
The dwarf is stunned!
A jet of fire shoots out of the hole, scorching the cieling.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 28, 2012, 04:21:29 pm
THERE'S A SPINE IN MY SPINEAH MY SPINE
SORRY, CAN YOU SHOOT THAT AT JOYKILL'S FACE?
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 04:29:57 pm
Yes, they were truely innumberable. For every one he cut down, ten more took it's place. He had become a legendary Swordsdwarf, a Proffessional Armor and Shield User, and a Proficient Dodger, all from this single engagement. If I wasn't Urist indefatigable, I would've most definately have died from sheer exaustion at this point.
"DAMNIT, YOU GUYS UP THERE BETTER FIND A WAY TO FIX THIS RIGHT NOW, OR WE ARE GOING TO DIE FROM SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS DEMONS!"
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 04:31:07 pm
The demonds were innumberable. Well, they could be numbered, but it would take months to count them all, and it was purely academic anyways. First a three-eyed floating head that spewed fire. Then a bipedal hooved thing that tried to tear me up with it's huge tusks. Then a ghastly figure that was apparently a master wrestler. Then there was a spider-like thing that shot webs...
Yes, they were truely innumberable. For every one he cut down, ten more took it's place. He had become a legendary Swordsdwarf, a Proffessional Armor and Shield User, and a Proficient Dodger, all from this single engagement. If I wasn't indafangitable, I would've most definately have died from sheer exaustion at this point.
"DAMNIT, YOU GUYS UP THERE BETTER FIND A WAY TO FIX THIS RIGHT NOW, OR WE ARE GOING TO DIE FROM SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS DEMONS!"
Meanwhile, Corai had become a legendary archer/bowbold.
Post by: wierd on April 28, 2012, 04:31:18 pm
He was attacked recently.
Finding the matches, and being cautious about the intermittent blasts of flame, he crawls to the opening, strikes a match and peers inside.
*the manamaid busts a sexy move!*
Weird joykill drops the match, clutches his eyes as blood sprays out, rolls away from the hole and falls unconcious.
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 04:32:33 pm
Weird joykill has been miserable recently.
He was attacked recently.
Finding the matches, and being cautious about the intermittent blasts of flame, he crawls to the opening, strikes a match and peers inside.
*the manamaid busts a sexy move!*
Weird joykill drops the match, clutches his eyes as blood sprays out, rolls away from the hole and falls unconcious.
Kobold1: You got that on video?
Kobold2: Yeah.
Kobold1: Drag him to his lab, tie him up, and have the manamaid stripper video play on re-wind. Forever.
Post by: wierd on April 28, 2012, 04:38:41 pm
Weird joykill wriggles his feet, and dislodges a catleather lowboot.
In the corner is the skeletal remains of the kobold who was obsidian cast.
Weird joykill gestures with his foot. The dead walk!
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 28, 2012, 04:40:30 pm
If I wasn't indafangitable
Begin the dentistry.
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 04:40:44 pm
Weird joykill regains conciousness in the recently re-excavated laboratory he spends all his time in. He is tied with a pigtail rope. 2 kobolds are trying to figure out how to put the video in the magma-ruined player.
Weird joykill wriggles his feet, and dislodges a catleather lowboot.
In the corner is the skeletal remains of the kobold who was obsidian cast.
Weird joykill gestures with his foot. The dead walk!
Comes in drinking out of a electrum flask.
....Is that me? As a skeleton?
Really Joykill? *Puts tape in, the two kobolds die.* Enjoy your eternal manamaid sex-video.
Post by: wierd on April 28, 2012, 04:43:39 pm
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 04:48:26 pm
If I wasn't indafangitable
Begin the dentistry.
OOC: Thank you for pointing that out. You seem to be some sort of Comedic Spelling Nazi. You go through everyone's posts with the utmost effort to see errors, and when you spot them, you make a joke based on it.
Post by: Garath on April 28, 2012, 04:50:26 pm
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 04:51:21 pm
I'm ignoring whatever goes on around and keep brewing stuff into alcohol as long as there's anything to brew
....We been out of brew-able stuff for two months now.....
Post by: wierd on April 28, 2012, 04:55:37 pm
Weird joykill let's out a bloodcurdling shriek as his sanity snaps, and all the truely, epically evil thoughts he has held back over the years give way to the forefront all at once!
The rope snaps in two!
Weird joykill stands up and gestures at the television screen.
The television screen explodes!
Blood pours down joykill's face from raw, mangled eye sockets!
Joykill releases a horrible, maniacal laughter!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 28, 2012, 04:56:00 pm
Also, I wonder where that fragment of time-machine that materialized in weird's lab went? I think one fell out of a crack. BTW, might want to chuck a complicated space-time event into there to fix it, weird. Since corai keeps respawning, he should do nicely (being in a localized time-loop). Mind you, will only close that one crack.
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 04:59:30 pm
The video plays for the 13th time.
Weird joykill let's out a bloodcurdling shriek as his sanity snaps, and all the truely, epically evil thoughts he has held back over the years give way to the forefront all at once!
The rope snaps in two!
Weird joykill stands up and gestures at the television screen.
The television screen explodes!
Blood pours down joykill's face from raw, mangled eye sockets!
Joykill releases a horrible, maniacal laughter!
.......HIS IDEA! Throws a pup at you and runs, activating the obsidianizer on the way out.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 28, 2012, 05:01:25 pm
It sustains me.OOC: Thank you for pointing that out. You seem to be some sort of Comedic Spelling Nazi. You go through everyone's posts with the utmost effort to see errors, and when you spot them, you make a joke based on it.If I wasn't indafangitableBegin the dentistry.
Post by: wierd on April 28, 2012, 05:04:28 pm
"The mechanisms in the purge system are NOT magma-safe!" He roars.
"This is to prevent it being deactivated once ignited! It can only be triggered *ONCE!*"
Weird joykill gestures! The two dead kobolds with ruptured eyes shriek, and come to life!
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 05:06:00 pm
......
Goes outside the door, closes, and forbids it.
That stops EVERYTHING. Unless its [BUILDINGDESTROYER:1]. But a dwarf-ohfu.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 28, 2012, 05:10:09 pm
Or something.
Post by: wierd on April 28, 2012, 05:15:28 pm
Wailing shrieks and plaintive gestures to claw out eyeballs that no longer exist afflict the two fleshy kobold corpses, desperately trying to escape the last memory of their final moments of life.
Flourishing "evil villain" style with the lab coat, sanguine gore dripping down his face, the insanse scientist and necromancer glides down the hallway towards the refuse piles...... the laughing never stops......
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 05:18:59 pm
Kobold powah, you son of a manamaid!
ON THE BACK IS A SHOCK PICTURE OF A MANAMAID VERSION OF GOATSE.
Kobold corpses have been shot and killed! x2
Post by: wierd on April 28, 2012, 05:21:18 pm
Joykill whirls dramatically.... heads for the slaughter yard.....
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 28, 2012, 05:21:39 pm
Then they walk on and forget all about it.
Or something.
Mysterious door?
OPEN IT
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 05:23:04 pm
Joykill, and corpses lack eyeballs: immune to picture. Dwarf beard extravision in effect!
Joykill whirls dramatically.... heads for the slaughter yard.....
Kobold sized saw blades shoot out from the walls, cutting off your right-arm!
Twelve lasher-kobolds await you outside. The animals are all on fire.
Post by: wierd on April 28, 2012, 05:24:43 pm
The arms come to life!
Weird joykill gestures with foot!
Flaming animal corpses come to life!
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 05:27:28 pm
The kobolds disappear into the shadows as archers open fire from above.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 28, 2012, 05:29:52 pm
The kobolds disappear into the shadows as archers open fire from above.
...But we're underground.
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 05:31:31 pm
The kobolds disappear into the shadows as archers open fire from above.
...But we're underground.
Holes in the roof. Were tiny enough to drill tunnels above the main-hallways. Why you think you never see any kobolds aside from me?
Post by: wierd on April 28, 2012, 05:32:47 pm
Weird joykill rears his head in laughter, as 200 kitten corpses pile on top of him, shielding him from the arrows.
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 05:35:06 pm
It also gives new eyes to everyone. "STAY IN SCHOOL KIDS, DURF." Then explodes in magma.
....Random? Yes.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 28, 2012, 05:36:19 pm
Post by: wierd on April 28, 2012, 05:40:59 pm
The unicorn has been struck down!
Weird joykill gestures with foot!
The unicorn rises!
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 05:42:21 pm
OOC: It's a new person, so he's not a Necromancer.
Post by: wierd on April 28, 2012, 05:46:13 pm
Weird joykill, riding the zombie unicorn, dashes down the hallway, zombie puppies and flaming camles in tow.
The hole in the floor looms ominously as they approach.
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 05:47:55 pm
......Waaaait, if this happened to him because of that manamaid sex video, a unicorm brawl video should fix him!
Post by: wierd on April 28, 2012, 05:49:54 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on April 28, 2012, 05:53:22 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on April 28, 2012, 05:55:21 pm
Eric Blank has been stricken with melancholy.
Eric Blank, Head Stoneworker, has been found dead, drained of blood.
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 05:57:06 pm
What if you used the cracks in time as a new waste disposal system? There would be nothing left to reanimate!
Yes, that makes sense, stranger, we can plan that out later.
BUT RIGHT NOW WE HAVE A RAMPANT NECROMANCER AND INNUMBERABLE AMOUNTS OF DEMONS ATTEMPTING TO KILL US ALL! WOULD IT KILL YOU TO TRY TO HELP!?!
Post by: wierd on April 28, 2012, 06:07:16 pm
"Now my children! Show him the meaning of pain!"
The zombie unicorn lowers its head, and drives its horn into the kobold, tearing the skin, trearing the muscle, tearing the fat, and tearing the guts! The horn is firmly lodged in the wound!
"More my children! Open his eyes, that he might SEEEEEEEE!"
The zombie puppy grasps the kobold's eyelid with its mouth and latches on tightly! The severed part flies off in an arc! (x2!)
"Now, my little abomination..... now... *evil, cold laughter*.... I think you dropped THISSSSS!"
Weird joykill's severed right arm reaches into weird joykill's labcoat, and produces "the picture", and shoves it in the dying kobold's face.
The kobold's eyes explode!
The kobold has been struck down!
The hole in the floor looms closer... closer...
The zombie procession, with the mad scientist necromancer riding magestically on the bloodstained white zombie unicorn, leap into the hole, and into the cacaphony of screams, howls, and horrors.
Loud whispers grabs his mason's trowel, and begins patching the hole.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 28, 2012, 06:34:30 pm
What if you used the cracks in time as a new waste disposal system? There would be nothing left to reanimate!
Yes, that makes sense, stranger, we can plan that out later.
BUT RIGHT NOW WE HAVE A RAMPANT NECROMANCER AND INNUMBERABLE AMOUNTS OF DEMONS ATTEMPTING TO KILL US ALL! WOULD IT KILL YOU TO TRY TO HELP!?!
And what's worse, you are hallucinating that someone you vaugely remember is giving you suggestions.
Post by: Saurinae on April 28, 2012, 08:01:37 pm
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 28, 2012, 08:06:48 pm
SH*T!
I quickly locate the Necromancer, and I let myself enter the martial trnace once again, simply aiming myself in the general direction of the Necromancer.
Post by: wierd on April 28, 2012, 09:03:04 pm
Demon manamaids are kicked mercilessly by flaming camels, and undead puppies and kittens swarm the beasts of fire, salt and frost like a biblical plague.
Like the eye of the storm, a bloody faced monster of madness given form rides high upon a rearing dead unicorn; blood, gore, flesh, and severed bones twist and cry out in pain and terror in a swirling vortex of undeath shrouding the evil sorcerer like a cloak of ghastly black and red silk. A glowing beacon of white flesh, long dark hair, and flowing rivers of blood peircing the blackness of the caverns. A pillar of regal poise in stark contrast to the chaos surrounding him.
He gestures, and the dead swirl and glide at his command. The corpses of the fallen shiver, and walk again and again.
In a clear, terrible timbre, the necromancer sings the dreaded song, as his host of horrors howl and swirl about him...
"For there is just one moon, and one golden sun, and it shines just as brightly for everyone; though the oceans are wide, and the mountains divide..."
IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL!
The final chords come out harsh, vicious and terrible. The undead creatures voice their own twisted, and horrible version of the song in defiance of the singing of the demons, mocking them, and driving them back towards the spire.
In the fray, a single dwarf with an emotionless expression glides like a kinfe over red silk through the din and chaos toward the necromancer...
Post by: kisame12794 on April 28, 2012, 09:06:54 pm
Post by: Saurinae on April 28, 2012, 09:07:22 pm
Post by: Corai on April 28, 2012, 10:41:38 pm
A kobold size longsword OF PURE OCD.
Now, if it ODD that only I am fighting the ultimate evil? And since hes fighting with no true plan, my OCD will not kill him, but give him a plan for taking for THE WORLD!
THROUGH BUISANCE AND LAND-OWNING!
Post by: Eric Blank on April 28, 2012, 11:02:39 pm
I need to figure out when it was made, but I suspect it my not be very old, just becuase it's not very heavily eroded. It's ade of the opalized wood I found all over on top a hill outside town. I intend to go back tomorrow with a shovel and look for the parent log of fossilized wood it may all belong to, but there's always the chance I'm looking at the remains of what some other rock hound dug up, and the arrowhead they knapped while there.
Pics! Because it happened!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The arrowhead is about 1.5cm in length. It's opal, though, so that's pretty damn impressive.
Post by: Oliolli on April 29, 2012, 01:07:41 am
The ‼copper pick‼ implodes for no reason whatsoever!
Oliolli grabs the four-armed brute by the left lower leg with his right hand.
Oliolli strikes the manamaid demon in the head with the four-armed brute, and the severed part sails off in an arc!
How many of you guys are still alive? Orky? Oliollis? Also, how many zombies are we talking about?
Oliolli kicks the steam spirit in the lower body, and the severed part sails off in an arc!
All of a sudden, the ghostly torso of an Oliolli floats through the wall of the adamantine spire, ceasing the existance of every demon it passes through.
You guys didn't memorialize the first Oliolli, did you?
Oliolli strikes the ass fiend in the lower body with the xfour-armed brutex, bruising the guts!
Oliolli loses hold of the XXfour-armed bruteXX
The tumbleweed demon pushes Oliolli in the right lower arm, bruising the fat!
The spinning XXfour-armed brute strikes the skinless monster in the head tearing the skin, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!
The XXfour-armed brute has been lodged firmly in the wound.
The skinless monster has been knocked unconscious.
The skinless monster has been struck down!
Orky_Boss hacks the XXfour-armed bruteXX in the head with the ☼adamantine short sword☼ and the severed part sails off in an arc!
the XXfour-armed bruteXX has been struck down!
I've got an idea how I can close another crack in time. I'll just need some time to refine my pl- ALRIGHT CHAPS, LET'S DO THIS! LEEEROOOYYYY...
Oliolli quickly grabs a winged horror to use as a weapon and jumps through the floor of the spire into hell. More sounds of combat can be heard, as 721 new waves of demons appear.
JEEEEENKIIIIINSS!!!
It sustains me.OOC: Thank you for pointing that out. You seem to be some sort of Comedic Spelling Nazi. You go through everyone's posts with the utmost effort to see errors, and when you spot them, you make a joke based on it.If I wasn't indafangitableBegin the dentistry.
He is the Grammar Hammerer. He needs it to live.
Post by: Reudh on April 29, 2012, 01:17:18 am
Post by: Corai on April 29, 2012, 01:50:37 am
Kobolds come in with mini-AK47s and mini-tanks.
Post by: Fen on April 29, 2012, 02:07:18 am
The slab of stone is engraved.
k I
This is an engraving of a tower and a kobold. This relates to the disappearance of Fen Valdyr in year ??. Under the engraving is carved "At summer home, back when you guys clean the place up a bit."
Post by: Corai on April 29, 2012, 02:16:15 am
Fen Valdyr has gone missing! Where his door once stood there is now only a slab of stone.
The slab of stone is engraved.
k I
This is an engraving of a tower and a kobold. This relates to the disappearance of Fen Valdyr in year ??. Under the engraving is carved "At summer home, back when you guys clean the place up a bit."
At summerhome.
Kobold swordsman1: Your required back at the twelth bay, we have orders to cut off your right arm if you refuse.
Kobold2: *Throwing torches at the house*
Post by: MaximumZero on April 29, 2012, 03:03:44 am
MaximumZero is taken by a fey mood!
MaximumZero has claimed a magma forge!
MaximumZero works furiously!
Spoiler: Ulolkudar, The Last Immortal (click to show/hide)
Post by: Corai on April 29, 2012, 03:19:20 am
/me obtains a large quantity of random metals, bones, gems, a barrel of rum and three bolts of spider silk cloth.
MaximumZero is taken by a fey mood!
MaximumZero has claimed a magma forge!
MaximumZero works furiously!Spoiler: Ulolkudar, The Last Immortal (click to show/hide)
Staring.
Post by: Naryar on April 29, 2012, 03:19:43 am
Naryar cancels Load Cage Trap : Interrupted by Goblin Spearman
Naryar bashes the Goblin Spearman in the head with his -iron cage-, bruising the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain !
Naryar cancels Store item in stockpile : Interrupted by Goblin Axeman
Naryar stabs the Goblin Axeman in the right foot with his -steel spear- and the severed part sails off in an arc !
Naryar bashes the Goblin Axeman in the head with the shaft of his -steel spear-, bruising the muscle through the -troll fur cap-, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain !
Naryar cancels : Interrupted by Kobold Thief
The Kobold Thief stabs Naryar in the lower body with it's large iron dagger, tearing the muscle and bruising the guts through the +iron breastplate+ !
Naryar is sick !
Naryar vomits !
The Kobold Thief slashes Naryar in the upper body with it's large iron dagger, but the attack is deflected by Naryar's +iron breastplate !
Naryar Zarâkith, the Wrath of Outrage has gone berserk !
Naryar bites the Kobold Thief in the throat, tearing the skin and tearing the muscle !
The Kobold Thief is surprised by the ferocity of Naryar's assault !
Naryar shakes the Kobold Thief by the throat, tearing the muscle !
A major artery in the throat has been opened !
Naryar punches the Kobold Thief in the upper body with his left hand, tearing the muscle, shattering the upper left rib and tearing the heart !
Naryar adjusts the grip of his left hand around the Kobold Thief's heart !
The Kobold Thief gives in to pain.
Naryar rips off the heart of the Kobold Thief's upper body !
The spinning xkobold heartx strikes the Kobold Thief in the head, bruising the muscle !
The Kobold Thief has bled to death.
Naryar goes outside and charges at the goblin ambush.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 29, 2012, 04:45:03 am
Skink Brute cancels invade fortress: interrupted by temporal radiation. x349
Skink Brute has vanished. x349
Post by: Fen on April 29, 2012, 05:48:46 am
Fen Valdyr has gone missing! Where his door once stood there is now only a slab of stone.
The slab of stone is engraved.
k I
This is an engraving of a tower and a kobold. This relates to the disappearance of Fen Valdyr in year ??. Under the engraving is carved "At summer home, back when you guys clean the place up a bit."
At summerhome.
Kobold swordsman1: Your required back at the twelth bay, we have orders to cut off your right arm if you refuse.
Kobold2: *Throwing torches at the house*
Fen Valdyr gestures! The minds of the kobolds are suddenly acutely aware of the entirety of the galaxy! The kobold has been struck down! The kobold has been struck down!
"Git offa mah lawn!"
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 29, 2012, 06:39:51 am
Post by: Fen on April 29, 2012, 06:44:57 am
Loud Whispers cancels build wall : Abandon fort
Reclaim time.
Post by: Reudh on April 29, 2012, 06:51:01 am
Fen Valdyr has gone missing! Where his door once stood there is now only a slab of stone.
The slab of stone is engraved.
k I
This is an engraving of a tower and a kobold. This relates to the disappearance of Fen Valdyr in year ??. Under the engraving is carved "At summer home, back when you guys clean the place up a bit."
At summerhome.
Kobold swordsman1: Your required back at the twelth bay, we have orders to cut off your right arm if you refuse.
Kobold2: *Throwing torches at the house*
Fen Valdyr gestures! The minds of the kobolds are suddenly acutely aware of the entirety of the galaxy! The kobold has been struck down! The kobold has been struck down!
"Git offa mah lawn!"
"You cannot grasp the true form of Fen Valdyigas' attack!"
Post by: Oliolli on April 29, 2012, 07:24:28 am
Loud Whispers cancels build wall : Abandon fort
If we abandon now, my entire demon-killing effort will have been for nothing!
Post by: FritzPL on April 29, 2012, 07:47:28 am
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 29, 2012, 08:09:57 am
Orky_Boss slashes the Ghastly Minotaur in the head with "Steel Hell", and the severed part flys off in an arc!
The Minotaur head strikes the 3-eyed Demon in the head, facturing the skull and bruising the brain!
The Minotaur has been struck down!
The 3-eyed Demon shoots a fireball at Orky_Boss, But the shot is Blocked!
Orky_Boss Stabs the 3-eyed demon in the upper body with "Steel Hell", tearing the muscle, fracturing the ribcage, and tearing the heart!
The 3-eyed Demon punches Orky_Boss in the head, but the shot is parried!
The 3-eyed Demon heart hits the 3-eyed Demon in the head, tearing the brain!
THe 3-eyed Demon has been Struck down!
"BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!"
Post by: Saurinae on April 29, 2012, 08:44:45 am
*Tath Zagith cuts swathes through the demons in his wake. Occasionally skinning a strong one who's blood is is not poisonous and keeping their face in his pack and wears the rest.*
Post by: Oliolli on April 29, 2012, 08:58:03 am
Hearing a steam spirit approaching him from behind, Orky quickly turned around and slashed the creature in two. The demons Oliolli had been fighting now turned their attention to Orky, the only living thing in hell.
Post by: Orky_Boss on April 29, 2012, 09:15:10 am
*Generic Demon* strikes Orky_Boss in the upper body, but the shot is blocked! x80
*Generic Demon* strikes Orky_Boss in the upper body, but the shot is parried! x80
*Generic Demon Strikes Orky_Boss un the upper body, but he jumps away! x80
The Demons' expressions change in what seemed to be confusion, realizing all of their shots were being deflected nearly effortlessly, and I smile a perverse, terrible smile.
"My turn."
Orky_Boss has entered a martial trance!
Orky_Boss slashes *Generic Demon* in the head with "Steel Hell", and the several part flies off in an arc! x80
*Generic Demon* has been struck down! x80
"CAN ANYONE OFFER ME A CHALLANGE!?!"
Post by: Saurinae on April 29, 2012, 09:36:39 am
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 29, 2012, 10:03:27 am
Whelp.
Nothing to do but make soap towers extending from the SMR now.
Post by: Eric Blank on April 29, 2012, 11:24:34 am
Post by: WillowLuman on April 29, 2012, 12:54:14 pm
...Unless you have some kind of badass plan to go into the cracks and somehow recover whats been erased from history!
Post by: Fen on April 29, 2012, 12:55:38 pm
No Olioli! Why did you jump in? THERE IS NO RETURN!
...Unless you have some kind of badass plan to go into the cracks and somehow recover whats been erased from history!
The spinning fez strikes Olioli in the right ear, bruising the fat! The spinning mop strikes Olioli in the right lower leg, bruising the fat!
It's dangerous to time travel alone, take these!
Post by: WillowLuman on April 29, 2012, 12:59:47 pm
Post by: FritzPL on April 29, 2012, 02:38:54 pm
bzzt
CLEAR!
bwdumsbzz
Resurrected correctly. You may continue.
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 29, 2012, 02:58:38 pm
If only there was a way to put something with [CE_BODY_TRANSFORMATION] in the heart of the explosion. Imagine, something with [CE_BODY_TRANSFORMATION:START:1:END:2] applied to the whole universe at every moment in time! The 1-second transformation would restore all lost parts!
Well now that you mentioned it....
Post by: Fen on April 29, 2012, 03:41:36 pm
If only there was a way to put something with [CE_BODY_TRANSFORMATION] in the heart of the explosion. Imagine, something with [CE_BODY_TRANSFORMATION:START:1:END:2] applied to the whole universe at every moment in time! The 1-second transformation would restore all lost parts!
Well now that you mentioned it....
I DON'T KNOW OF ANYBODY IN THE FORT WITH TRANSFORMATIVE PROPERTIES, NO SIR, NOBODY LIKE THAT AROUND HERE.
Post by: Corai on April 29, 2012, 03:59:35 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 29, 2012, 04:34:45 pm
If only there was a way to put something with [CE_BODY_TRANSFORMATION] in the heart of the explosion. Imagine, something with [CE_BODY_TRANSFORMATION:START:1:END:2] applied to the whole universe at every moment in time! The 1-second transformation would restore all lost parts!
Well now that you mentioned it....
I DON'T KNOW OF ANYBODY IN THE FORT WITH TRANSFORMATIVE PROPERTIES, NO SIR, NOBODY LIKE THAT AROUND HERE.
What a shame, would've enjoyed meetin-OH.
Loud Whispers has withdrawn from society.
Post by: WillowLuman on April 29, 2012, 10:50:31 pm
Post by: Oliolli on April 30, 2012, 12:31:52 am
Just cause I am offline does not mean I stop sniping demons, Olililli.
Two things:
- As far as I knew, you were not IN hell, but somewhere near the adamantine vein in which people were fighting.
Olililli.
My name can't be THAT hard to spell...
Post by: FritzPL on April 30, 2012, 12:36:54 am
Post by: Fen on April 30, 2012, 12:58:33 am
Post by: Gizogin on April 30, 2012, 12:16:22 pm
Gizogin cancels Post Something Meaningful: Overcome by Apathy
Post by: Blizzlord on April 30, 2012, 01:51:41 pm
Post by: Wannazzaki on April 30, 2012, 05:32:04 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on April 30, 2012, 05:34:47 pm
Post by: Wannazzaki on April 30, 2012, 05:38:26 pm
SUMMON THE OLLIFEX
IA IA IA OLLIFEX FHTAGN!
Post by: MrButtchicker on April 30, 2012, 08:04:47 pm
*dies in well*
Post by: Corai on April 30, 2012, 08:33:32 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on April 30, 2012, 08:54:04 pm
529,600 giant eagles are invading Hell!
WTF ex Machina!
Post by: Corai on April 30, 2012, 08:58:17 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on April 30, 2012, 10:54:19 pm
Post by: wierd on April 30, 2012, 11:41:51 pm
I got thrown in my that damned Weird Joykill to die.
(Your refusal to capitulate in my kobold juicing plan resulted in the destruction of my lab, and later, my sanity. My berzerk necromancer persona is now totally uncorked. Enjoy the evil you have unleashed! Muahahhaha!)
The hoardes of buring (and exploding) undead and reanimated body parts continue their singular slaughter against the living demons of the abyss.
Hundreds of animated puppy teeth kicked out of rotting and abominable caricatures of once adorably soft and cute puppies gnaw relentlessly at the skin of the eldritch creatures. Sheared wads of wool seek out noses and mouths to crawl down and clog. Hooved burning and skeletal camels and camel legs kick without mercy. One by one, the demons are mauled by overwhelming numbers.
The frenzied shrieks of the dead and damned fill the cold cavern air with a terrible supernatural chill.
The endless armies of hell, constrained by the single, narrow point of entry on the adamantine spire, fall victim to superior numbers and inhospitable terrain. The gaping maw of their point of ingress looms large as the clashing throng creeps ever closer to the source of the invasion; a blood and ichor soaked chasm or gore and bodies of the outre beings the only remnant of the uncountable demons that have spewed forth and met their end.
Ahead, fire, vomit, waves of deadly exhalations, and heavy barrages of flame retardant silk spray ceasslessly while the screaming terrors fill their roles in the red dance of war.
At long last, the opening to the maws of hell itself stands as the last bastion on the field of battle. Splintered skeletons, fleshy zombies clothed only in gristly red ribbons and an abrasive melange of teeth, claws, severed hooves, crawling digits and hair with a single, angry, blood and ichor soaked figure glaring out of eyeless sockets are all that remains of the mighty zombie armies.
The reanimated limbs of the crazed wizard, still held by the sleeves of the now ragged, blood-and_ichor soaked remains of what was once a brilliant white labcoat, wave and thrash unnaturally, obeying the magical will of their master as they direct his armies of the livng undead to pour into the opening of the spire, and clog the opening with their shredded bodies.
The necromancer, sitting atop a once beautiful and magestic unicorn, now reduced to bloody skeletal legs, a clawed open and brutalized head with an ichor soaked horn, and trailing its intrails behind it, bellows out the final command as he dismounts.
Snatching a dented and heavily worn pickaxe from the grasp of a now undead dwarven corpse, his unnaturally flailing undead arms wail and cleave at the natural stone nearby, producing a boulder of diorite. Discarding the pick, the nearly exhausted and hoarse voiced creature shoves on the boulder, forcing it into the breach, and sealing it shut.
His labors of madness completed, his army of undead horrors sealed on the far side of the boulders and cut off from the rest of the world, the necromancer succumbs to the accumulated sum of his injuries.
Weird joykill has bled to death
An eerie silence fills the cavern. The only remaining sound, the distant and relentless whisper of dripping water.
Post by: Oliolli on May 01, 2012, 12:02:17 am
Post by: WillowLuman on May 01, 2012, 12:16:53 am
You guys brought the Olioflex on yourselves, though.
BTW, do Oliolli's count as complex space-time events?
Post by: Eric Blank on May 01, 2012, 01:08:25 am
Post by: wierd on May 01, 2012, 01:55:41 am
Just add topic!
Post by: FritzPL on May 01, 2012, 02:12:14 am
Post by: Naryar on May 01, 2012, 02:28:12 am
He is interrupted by two kobold thieves but he then proceeds to rip a limb off both, resulting in more blood and death, and then enters like a spear head into the mass of goblins.
Not caring about defense in his berserk state, he gets quite a number of wounds, including losing a hand to a goblin spearmaster. But it's not his spear hand, and the next thing the goblin sees is a spear firmly planted in his entrails. Followed by a swift punch to the head.
Finally, he manages to defeat the 20-gob squad entirely by himself, though he is badly wounded, bleeding and would not have stayed conscious if not for the berserk state. Screaming a battle cry and a prayer to Armok, he proceeds to make a pile of corpses out of the
goblins.
He then climbs on it and then... Naryar Zarâkith, the Wrath of Outrage has bled to death.
His last thought, surprisingly sane, is a happy one. As a dwarf that died in battle (or close enough), He will join Armok's fortress, and will spend most of his afterlife in battle.
Post by: Blizzlord on May 01, 2012, 03:16:33 am
Bay12: where a complete and disasterous derail isWho said it was considered? Everyone on Bay12 is subliminally a Legendary 5+ Derailer (except the Toady One).consideredan absolute must.
Post by: CandyOreVein on May 01, 2012, 03:31:19 am
Urist McCandyMiner has made a soap axe! It is decorated with spikes of lead. It features an engraving of a liginite minecart crashing into maso mezulifit. This is a refrence to the killing of the giant dragon maso mezulifit.
Urist McCandyMiner cancles Go Insaine. Insaine.
Post by: Blizzlord on May 01, 2012, 03:32:26 am
Post by: CandyOreVein on May 01, 2012, 03:37:56 am
True insainity.
Post by: Blizzlord on May 01, 2012, 03:55:06 am
Post by: Oliolli on May 01, 2012, 05:09:04 am
BTW, do Oliolli's count as complex space-time events?
No. They are Armok's strike force.
Post by: Fen on May 01, 2012, 08:03:14 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
So yeah, continuing the fortress after Talvieno. I hope I don't !!Accidentally!! everything on my first succession fort.
Post by: Splint on May 01, 2012, 12:06:30 pm
Post by: wierd on May 01, 2012, 12:23:03 pm
Oliolli is suffering a physical instance of multiple personality disorder, where all the different personalities are really just phyical copies of himself.
I led the undead hoardes through the spire, and died after sealing the hole shut with a diorite boulder.
The cave system should be made off limits until the demon ichor can be cleaned up. I suggest magma.
Hugo luman' temporal vortex manipulator caused localized memory corruption which is what exposed the HFS, and weakened the adamantine spire in the first place. Current location is unknown.
Most fortress inhabitants are too busy trying to keep thieer hairy bums from devouring their panties with fear in their quarters.
Situation: normal for this lot.
Post by: Oliolli on May 01, 2012, 01:47:30 pm
The ollifex was called forth from nothingness by uttering its one true name.
An eldritch abomination with a deathwish.
Oliolli is suffering a physical instance of multiple personality disorder, where all the different personalities are really just phyical copies of himself.
That's more of a multiple body disorder, where one personality has multiple bodies.
I led the undead hoardes through the spire, and died after sealing the hole shut with a diorite boulder.
Because of Hugo, a new hole will appear soon.
The cave system should be made off limits until the demon ichor can be cleaned up. I suggest magma.
Or we just send Corai to clean it all up.
Hugo luman' temporal vortex manipulator caused localized memory corruption which is what exposed the HFS, and weakened the adamantine spire in the first place. Current location is unknown.
[insert technobabble here]
Most fortress inhabitants are too busy trying to keep thieer hairy bums from devouring their panties with fear in their quarters.
And the rest are fighting various things in various places.
Situation: normal for this lot.
I find our lack of strangeness disturbing.
By the way, whatever became of the dwarven liaison? Didn't they arrive at the beginning of our entire wierd-the-necromancer-riding-a-flaming-unicorn-zombie -episode?
Urist McLiaison cancels trade: What the fuck is going on here? Screw you guys, I am going home.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 01, 2012, 06:12:13 pm
Mind if I migrate to the fortress with "the most useful dwarven child"? (see link in sig)
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 01, 2012, 06:18:03 pm
I read it all.
☺
Post by: KodKod on May 01, 2012, 07:20:32 pm
Forget it.
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 01, 2012, 07:21:51 pm
To read or not to read?
read it all.
Post by: KodKod on May 01, 2012, 07:23:46 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 01, 2012, 07:44:42 pm
Meanwhile, everyone started kicking demonic ass.
Post by: Corai on May 01, 2012, 08:04:07 pm
Urgh, twenty pages since I last saw this thread. To read or not to read?
Forget it.
SHES BACK!
OH GOD. OH GOD. SOMEONE, TELL THE NEW KOBOLD TO HIDE.
WERE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Post by: wierd on May 01, 2012, 08:15:25 pm
Its amazing. Being a ghost apparently fixes insanity!
*floats around through walls, scaring kobolds and laughing at their expense*
Post by: Saurinae on May 01, 2012, 09:59:30 pm
*Tath Zagith Has Withdrawn From Society*
*Tath Zagith is muttering "Bunsoth Romlam"*
Post by: Eric Blank on May 01, 2012, 10:06:34 pm
If you guys had any capacity to plan ahead, you would have requested extravagent living quarters as well!
Well, besides Kodkod. I suppose that makes us neighbors considering there's nothing between our households but corpses and gore. Assuming you had the sense to wall yourself up in that temple as well...
Post by: wierd on May 01, 2012, 11:21:08 pm
Sure, I'm a ghost and all, but now I don't eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom! I can do !!science!! 24/7, and never get tired! It's the greatest thing ever!
I think I will collaborate with Gizogin on the creation of a 100% synthetic body I can posess!
Post by: Corai on May 01, 2012, 11:25:16 pm
Nobody even *THINK* about slabbing me!
Sure, I'm a ghost and all, but now I don't eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom! I can do !!science!! 24/7, and never get tired! It's the greatest thing ever!
I think I will collaborate with Gizogin on the creation of a 100% synthetic body I can posess!
........
Great! My arch-nemesis is now un-killable! But me, OH IM TRAPPED IN MORTAL FORM. I DIE AND I JUST COME RIGHT ON BACK! You, oh your immortal like me, but completely awesome!
Oh by the way.....
The kobold buisance man stabs you with a Small copper switchblade, but it goes right through!
Edit:
Wait....a slab makes a ghost go to the grave, right?
Corai begins to laugh evilly!
Must find marble....
Must find chisel....
Must find memorial hall....
Post by: Eric Blank on May 01, 2012, 11:37:35 pm
It'll erode too quickly and he'll come back to haunt you (hah!) that much faster. At least use granite or something harder that doesn't react with slightly acidic (basic?) water.
Post by: wierd on May 01, 2012, 11:41:09 pm
Don't make me command my chopped off zombie arms to come upstairs to strangle you!
I can float right down there and get them right now you know!
Post by: Eric Blank on May 02, 2012, 12:06:27 am
Corai would be screwed. :P
Post by: wierd on May 02, 2012, 12:11:47 am
*dives into the floor*
Ok, zombie right arm? I command you to stealthfully seek out and strangle corai in his sleep, no matter where he hides! Every nook and cranny!
Zombie left arm? If corai ever succeds in slabbing me, you are to seek out the slab and scratch my name off using whatever means you can find. Until that time, go to the bottom of the deepest murky pool, and remain there, so that corai can never find you!
Post by: WillowLuman on May 02, 2012, 12:16:28 am
Sure enough, though, it leaped into the air and caused him to jump back in surprise. He was scared, kobold instincts telling him to expect attack, but after a few seconds he was merely puzzled. The rock was.... dancing. At least, as well as something that had only one part to move could.
It must have been a remnant of those animated dancing objects that they'd gotten rid of a week ago. Those ones animated by... animated by... by...
...
...that had randomly animated.
Post by: Oliolli on May 02, 2012, 12:24:19 am
Not likely, mister Whispers. My patience is currently a non-zero amount, but I'm cutting it close.
Anyway the thread would probably advance a few more pages during the time it took you to read through 'em.
Well to make a long story short I accidentally screwed everyone and annihilated myself.
Meanwhile, everyone started kicking demonic ass.
And I got a new body or ten.
Don't use marble!
It'll erode too quickly and he'll come back to haunt you (hah!) that much faster. At least use granite or something harder that doesn't react with slightly acidic (basic?) water.
If it were made of gold, it would not react chemically with anything.
/intentionallyforgetstomentionthatgoldissoft,sowierd'sleftarmwouldhavenoproblemscratchingnameoff
Post by: wierd on May 02, 2012, 01:28:47 am
*makes obscene gestures, blows raspberries, and moons the ollifex*
(Being a non-deadly ghost, I am unable to directly attack the ollifex without animating a corpse. As a necromancer ghost, that is the only power available to me, other than being an unswattable irritant.)
Post by: Splint on May 02, 2012, 06:20:19 am
Post by: Blizzlord on May 02, 2012, 08:56:48 am
Quickly everyone! Throw supernovae at it! Not even the mighty Ollifex can survive that!
Post by: Eric Blank on May 02, 2012, 09:37:10 am
Post by: Blizzlord on May 02, 2012, 09:43:17 am
More importantly: would it kill a giant sponge?
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 02, 2012, 10:16:08 am
More importantly: would it kill a giant sponge?
I really do not have a clue.
Are we only able to use things in vanilla DF raws or use some of the stuff in our modded raws? If we can use the modded raws, I'll bring approx. 4000 dragons with me to fight Ollifex. That should do SOMETHING, right?
Post by: Blizzlord on May 02, 2012, 10:20:06 am
Post by: wierd on May 02, 2012, 01:03:44 pm
Not a whole lot is stopping you from modding it in.
Or were you looking more for a tactical nuke?
Post by: Blizzlord on May 02, 2012, 01:07:45 pm
Still, could it possibly kill the feared giant sponge?
Post by: Oliolli on May 02, 2012, 01:13:28 pm
Post by: Gizogin on May 02, 2012, 02:12:33 pm
Post by: Blizzlord on May 02, 2012, 02:14:57 pm
Oh, please. I believe a more subtle option is available. Namely, we build a particle accelerator and bombard the Ollifex with antimatter. A few well-placed antiprotons should incapacitate the beast with minimal disintegration of the surroundings. Or, failing that, we go with Blizzlord's supernova idea. We simply angle a high-mass star so that its rotation axis points to the Ollifex, then induce a catastrophic gravitational collapse. The resulting gamma-ray burst will completely obliterate any living thing in its (very wide) path, which will hopefully include the Ollifex.I had almost forgotten about the gamma ray bursts form supernovae! I guess that is actually a better idea than I originally imagined.
Post by: wierd on May 02, 2012, 03:01:42 pm
The ghost busters particle beam gun is far safer (all things considered).
I have a better idea though. Obsidian casting. Nothing survives obsidian casting (except ghosts like me!)
Being dead already, a magma facial doesn't bother me. Get the forms ready while I tease the ollifex relentlessly.
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 02, 2012, 03:09:06 pm
Post by: Splint on May 02, 2012, 03:12:34 pm
Post by: wierd on May 02, 2012, 03:57:29 pm
I propose modding rabbits into "terrible creatures of ahhhhhhh"'s, and unleashing those on the ollifex.
Being tame, we can take them to the butchershop afterwards.
Post by: Splint on May 02, 2012, 04:59:19 pm
Careful breeding programs have resulted in a bloodthirsty flesh eating beast in Yak form. It is known, as the battleyak.
Post by: Gizogin on May 02, 2012, 05:53:30 pm
GRB ionizes the atmosphere, overpowers the magnetosphere, and sterilizes the planet.
You say that like it'd be a bad thing.
Fine, I'll deal with it myself, without ending all life as we know it (since some people evidently have a problem with it). With my modding abilities and gross disregard for Physics, it won't be a problem.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 02, 2012, 05:57:05 pm
I said mod in supernovae attacks. How much harder could it get?
Then I had better start talking to the general to see if he'll send some troops. It may not be 4000, but they might make a difference. Maybe afterwards I can start some trade between this fort and the citadel. If that is possible the only stuff that will come in the caravan will be giant animals and the finest armor, sold at bargain rates if I can convince the higher ups! There is a catch though, the caravans will only go through HFS due to a superiority complex within their minds. Started about the time they captured a "curious structure" and the surrounding area within HFS. Best to not mention how you were behind the music attack on HFS. They had to give up the structure to get away from the noise and only recaptured the previous area conquered after a long battle.
(I support the supernova beam weapon.)
Post by: WillowLuman on May 02, 2012, 06:41:13 pm
People, we can't try to solve this problem by modding the game while inside it. I mean, look where that got me!
If we can use our modded raws, though, I would like to point out that I have Daleks (and superheroes).
Post by: Corai on May 02, 2012, 08:10:25 pm
Is the Battleyak what is commonly known as a Hammerhead Yak, riding a Hammerhead Whale? Those things kill dragons you know.
People, we can't try to solve this problem by modding the game while inside it. I mean, look where that got me!
If we can use our modded raws, though, I would like to point out that I have Daleks (and superheroes).
I used to have kobolds and uzis. But I accidentally deleted.....
Post by: wierd on May 02, 2012, 08:16:39 pm
Btw corai... watch out for zombie hands. :D
Post by: Corai on May 02, 2012, 08:18:58 pm
I play with pretty much flat vanilla with a few tweaks to fix things I feel are obviously broken. No daleks, uzis, orbital friendship cannons, bunny people, or anything of that lot.
Btw corai... watch out for zombie hands. :D
Since I am to
Corai has claimed a craftsdwarf workshop!
This is a masterwork Marble slab! In gold, it saids the name "Weird Joykill, horrible foe and eternal enemy. Let his reign of !!SCIENCE!! end!
Post by: wierd on May 02, 2012, 08:23:49 pm
The zombie right arm stalks its victim.
Post by: Corai on May 02, 2012, 08:25:45 pm
REVEAL YOURSELF! I DONT LIKE SHOOTING INTO OBLIVION, ITS TO MUCH RECOIL FOR A KOBOLD.
...
The kobold breaks into a sprint.
Post by: wierd on May 02, 2012, 08:28:45 pm
The zombie left arm has claimed a yellow diamond from the gem stockpile.
Post by: Corai on May 02, 2012, 08:32:03 pm
Is that a Yellow diamond? ....resist....kobold.....urges.....
The uzi's bullets unload into the diamond, shattering it!
Temptation gone..........Out of ammo, again.
Corai Kobold Buisance man Forge ammo
Post by: wierd on May 02, 2012, 08:34:14 pm
The zombie left hand enters the vent ducts.
The zombie right arm drops from the cieling onto the kobold bruisance man, grasping the throat, and latching on tightly!
Kobold bruisance man cancels forge ammo: interrupted by weird joykill's zombie right arm!
The kobold bruisance man is having difficulty breathing!
The kobold bruisance man cancels slash with copper dagger: morale failure.
The kobold bruisance man has been struck down!
The zombie right arm releases its grip with the zombie right hand, and hides.
Post by: Corai on May 02, 2012, 08:37:06 pm
Blood spatters your computer screen.
---
......Okay, that was odd. The announcement got cut off mid-way....
Post by: wierd on May 02, 2012, 08:42:39 pm
This is a maste-OH GOD, ZOMBIE HAND! WRONG KOBOLD WRONG KOBOLD, IM THE ANNOUNCER! OH GOD GET OFF -
Blood spatters your computer screen.
---
......Okay, that was odd. The announcement got cut off mid-way....
The zombie left arm drops from the vent into the memorial hall.
With repeated, angry slashes of the zombie left arm's zombie left wrist, the zombie left arm defaces the gold slab dedicated to weird joykill with the yellow diamond shard!
Weird joykill, ghostly necromancer has returned from the grave and is haunting the living!
Post by: Corai on May 02, 2012, 08:45:16 pm
This is a maste-OH GOD, ZOMBIE HAND! WRONG KOBOLD WRONG KOBOLD, IM THE ANNOUNCER! OH GOD GET OFF -
Blood spatters your computer screen.
---
......Okay, that was odd. The announcement got cut off mid-way....
The zombie left arm drops from the vent into the memorial hall.
With repeated, angry slashes of the zombie left arm's zombie left wrist, the zombie left arm defaces the gold slab dedicated to weird joykill with the yellow diamond shard!
Weird joykill, ghostly necromancer has returned from the grave and is haunting the living!
Corai Kobold Buisance man Engrave Slab
Post by: wierd on May 02, 2012, 08:48:31 pm
This is a maste-OH GOD, ZOMBIE HAND! WRONG KOBOLD WRONG KOBOLD, IM THE ANNOUNCER! OH GOD GET OFF -
Blood spatters your computer screen.
---
......Okay, that was odd. The announcement got cut off mid-way....
The zombie left arm drops from the vent into the memorial hall.
With repeated, angry slashes of the zombie left arm's zombie left wrist, the zombie left arm defaces the gold slab dedicated to weird joykill with the yellow diamond shard!
Weird joykill, ghostly necromancer has returned from the grave and is haunting the living!
Corai Kobold Buisance man Engrave Slab
Corai Unki, kobold bruisance man cancels engrave slab, interrupted by zombie right arm!
Weird joykill, ghostly necromancer appears!
"Go ahead, slash it! I will raise the pieces before you complete the slab!"
Post by: Corai on May 02, 2012, 08:50:59 pm
You realize I cannot permanently die? I just come back as a FAR less attractive kobold-male.
Post by: wierd on May 02, 2012, 08:52:46 pm
*evil ghostly grin*
Post by: Corai on May 02, 2012, 08:54:04 pm
You do not need to be nearby to slab a ghost! Thus I can simply stay in my cave and slab you there, then cave-in the cave, forever trapping the slab where no hand can reach it!
Post by: wierd on May 02, 2012, 08:55:29 pm
If there is flowing water, or water map edge tiles, zombie hand can eventually path.
Zombie hand is a dwarven zombie hand, and inherits building destroyer.
:D
Post by: Corai on May 02, 2012, 08:56:36 pm
Demonic grin.
Post by: wierd on May 02, 2012, 08:59:23 pm
*flies down into the cavern system, and gestures at the Weird Joykill's corpse*
Zombie body! Should left and Right fail, seek either, and use them with a pick to reach the slab.
Devour the brains of any kobolds that get in the way. Until such time as you are needed, seek shelter in the stygian waters of the cave system.
*whisks back up to the kobold bruisance man*
Remember, each time I am unslabbed, there's a chance I will be a KILLER ghost!
Also, I can raise as many sleeper agents as I need to keep you from even looking at a hammer and chisel!
Post by: Corai on May 02, 2012, 09:00:49 pm
Zombies cannot be controlled, or ordered, to dig! Thus you need a living kobold, elf, dwarf, goblin, or human!
Post by: wierd on May 02, 2012, 09:05:51 pm
Just as I can't stop your vile kind from procreating (yet...), you can't stop my relentless proxy agents from undoing your work to be rid of me.
Post by: Corai on May 02, 2012, 09:33:01 pm
And sicne I refuse to be slew by you. I shall take my own life, since I continue to be re-born!
I refuse to say what just happened to my face.
A buisance man! HIDE YOUR CREDIT CARDS!
Post by: Eric Blank on May 02, 2012, 09:43:54 pm
Post by: Saurinae on May 02, 2012, 09:45:46 pm
Hmm *Puts Bunsoth Romlam on*
Post by: Corai on May 02, 2012, 09:47:57 pm
*Tath Zagith has finished Bunsoth Romlam (Cloak of the God-Forsaken) a patchwork demon-face trench coat*
A horde of kobolds have arrived!
........Can I have my uzi back Joykill? I wanna gun-down some of my less-intelligent kobolds.
Post by: Saurinae on May 02, 2012, 09:49:29 pm
Post by: Corai on May 02, 2012, 09:53:00 pm
*Tath Zagith notices the horde and hides the rest of the faces*
A pet kobold has been stolen!
....Oh, there not so stupid after all!
THERE STUPID ENOUGH TO ENRAGE ME HOWEVER.
A kobold has been found, horribly mutilated! x72
Post by: Saurinae on May 02, 2012, 09:55:22 pm
She isn't even a pet after all. *Smug face*
Post by: Corai on May 02, 2012, 09:58:50 pm
If you took Indilwen I will hunt you down and kill you no matter how many times you resurrect.
Hey, I am the one that horribly mutilated the
Into walkie-talky
She knows, get the get-away wagon!
Sorry boss, the wagon was butchered for wagon wood.
How in kodkod's name do you butcher a wagon?
We just did...
WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU WILL BE TORTURED TO DEATH.
Post by: wierd on May 02, 2012, 10:03:12 pm
*begins to breakdance and gesticulate wildly*
The dead rise!
(The kobold zombies are incredibly stupid. They mill around bumping into each other, making squeeky doggy toy sounds when they do.)
Post by: Corai on May 02, 2012, 10:33:38 pm
Meanwhile, lets find Indilwen! So I can kill my arch-kobold nemesis besides Deebus I MEAN RESCUE HER......YEAH.....RESCUE HER.......
Post by: Saurinae on May 02, 2012, 11:08:42 pm
Post by: Corai on May 02, 2012, 11:10:25 pm
One moment, I need to clean my suit. Theres blood all over it!
Post by: WillowLuman on May 03, 2012, 12:41:03 am
Also, weird, what if an FB or giant animal destroys your zombie corpse? Being digested seems to pretty much permanently kill zombies.
Post by: Oliolli on May 03, 2012, 01:03:01 am
I propose we defeat the Ollifex by summoning an even bigger Oliollifex.
Good idea. It may even be able to take out the Sheeple. Awakening them was a mistake in retrospect.
I propose modding rabbits into "terrible creatures of ahhhhhhh"'s, and unleashing those on the ollifex.
No need to mod. We just have to find the Cave of Caerbannog and set up some cage traps.
But!
You do not need to be nearby to slab a ghost! Thus I can simply stay in my cave and slab you there, then cave-in the cave, forever trapping the slab where no hand can reach it!
I never said anything about water! Its natural blocks falling, without a pick you can never dig into it! And building destroyer has nothing on walls!
Demonic grin.
Buuut!
Zombies cannot be controlled, or ordered, to dig! Thus you need a living kobold, elf, dwarf, goblin, or human!
You forget those of us who think having wierd around is a good thing. Some of us are capable of mining.
*floats listlessly amongst the corpses.*
*begins to breakdance and gesticulate wildly*
The dead rise!
(The kobold zombies are incredibly stupid. They mill around bumping into each other, making squeeky doggy toy sounds when they do.)
How's re-reanimating Michael Jackson coming along?
Post by: wierd on May 03, 2012, 01:23:10 am
To contain the madness, I disintigrated him with the flame thrower..... but then again, he did do that werecat thing in Thriller, so maybe if I necromantify his nose, and wait for the full moon for him to transform and regenerate the missing parts I can get a complete popstar again...
The potential for abuse, in creating an army of werepanther zombie popstars is pretty high though.
I'll tell you what, give me your old prosthetic body, so I can have hands to do !!SCIENCE!! With, and the next experiment will be to reconstitute Urist McJackson from his nose.
Post by: Oliolli on May 03, 2012, 02:20:05 am
Post by: Gizogin on May 03, 2012, 06:43:49 am
Gizogin never gave me the replacement body, and now that i have a new body, I don't really need it. Just ask Gizogin for it, tell him I sent you.
Oh, you didn't even wait for me to finish before asking someone else? I have like three days left until it's done!
Post by: Naryar on May 03, 2012, 06:55:55 am
Post by: medikohl on May 03, 2012, 07:25:15 am
Post by: Blizzlord on May 03, 2012, 07:27:25 am
MEDIKOHL cancels witty rejoinder: throwing tantrumIf you mean it is hard to rejoin the thread I'm with you. It seems to progress while we in Europe sleep and work...
Post by: Oliolli on May 03, 2012, 08:08:25 am
Gizogin never gave me the replacement body, and now that i have a new body, I don't really need it. Just ask Gizogin for it, tell him I sent you.
Oh, you didn't even wait for me to finish before asking someone else? I have like three days left until it's done!
I never asked for this new body. It was forced upon me, through divine intervention.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 03, 2012, 10:55:25 am
Post by: wierd on May 03, 2012, 12:12:09 pm
That how I died and became a necromancer ghost.
The dragon can eat the ollifex outside though. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a preliminary fitting with a clockwork robot body scheduled.
If your dragon needs pactice, I raised some bumbling fodder earlier. I garrisoned them outside as an early warning system.
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 03, 2012, 02:54:26 pm
I propose modding
I agree.
[SYNDROME]
[SYN_NAME:Ollioliitis]
[SYN_CONTACT]
[SYN_INGEST]
[SYN_AFFECTED_CLASS:GENERAL_POISON]
[SYN_IMMUNE_CREATURE:CAT:ALL] (for safety reasons, we can't have the minds of cats in control of Olliolifex bodies)
[CE_BODY_TRANSFORMATION:START:0:END:10000] (to limit the amount of power gained to a moderately brief Olli spree)
[CE:CREATURE:OLLIOLIFEX:OLOLOLI]
[CE_ADD_TAG:OPPOSED_TO_LIFE] <- Mandatory
Don't mind me, I'm just off to put this bucket of water back in the well. Also, we conveniently ran out of booze in the last 5 minutes, so if you need a drink, the well's just there.
Post by: wierd on May 03, 2012, 03:10:04 pm
I don't mind. I'm a ghost, but the others are looking a bit frazzled.
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 03, 2012, 03:34:01 pm
Preferably outside of the fortress.
Several region tiles away.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 03, 2012, 03:36:00 pm
Nope. Cleaned up the killer clowns form the HFS with an episode of pet semitary (sic).
That how I died and became a necromancer ghost.
The dragon can eat the ollifex outside though. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a preliminary fitting with a clockwork robot body scheduled.
If your dragon needs pactice, I raised some bumbling fodder earlier. I garrisoned them outside as an early warning system.
Ah, ok.
Dragons, not dragon. 500 of them, plus 50 marksdwarves and the master of air. Remember, these are from a dragon civilization, not the exiled ones that you commonly call "megabeasts".
Edit: Also don't forget they are coming through HFS. After they captured the "curious structure," they became egotistical, and will only go through HFS. Do not forget that they are allies!
Edit2:
What a shame. Still, I've fixed the booze! Commence your drinking.
Preferably outside of the fortress.
Several region tiles away.
Note to self: only drink stuff I bring from Dragon Home Citadel.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 03, 2012, 06:57:03 pm
If you can't find one big enough, though, try saying the incantation backwards. That seems to work a lot for these summoned abominations. Corai should do it!
Post by: Corai on May 03, 2012, 07:31:01 pm
But as a forum goer, like everyone else here I am immortal.
There's still cracks in time all over. Who knows where they all are? Perhaps the Oliflex can be erased?
If you can't find one big enough, though, try saying the incantation backwards. That seems to work a lot for these summoned abominations. Corai should do it!
Runs to find a kevlar vest.
Post by: wierd on May 03, 2012, 08:38:28 pm
Post by: Corai on May 03, 2012, 08:41:23 pm
...
AND I NEED TO FIND A UN-ENGRAVED SLAB.
Post by: Fen on May 03, 2012, 08:49:19 pm
Ah God complex? No No, never! I realise I am not all-mighty.
But as a forum goer, like everyone else here I am immortal.
Forum-goers are less immortal than you might think..
RIP Forumite. At least he has a nice coffin.
That reminds me. I need to build more of those.
Post by: Reudh on May 03, 2012, 08:53:29 pm
There was Forumite... There was Necro, and there was Kurtulmak. Kurtulmak was unique, as he was a mod.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 03, 2012, 09:09:57 pm
Post by: Corai on May 03, 2012, 09:11:14 pm
Wait, didn't Forumite post on this thread way back when?
I remember that too.
QUICK, GET Weird Joykill TO REVIVE HIM!
Post by: WillowLuman on May 03, 2012, 09:18:25 pm
Post by: Corai on May 03, 2012, 09:55:39 pm
How do I re-educate them in the most painful way? They refuse to drink my Strawberry wine.
Post by: wierd on May 04, 2012, 12:08:42 am
Post by: Oliolli on May 04, 2012, 12:11:47 am
Apparently he was in the Twelfth Bay, and got killed by a Giant Kea. That was nearly a month ago, however.
Last post by Forumite was posted... two weeks ago.
There's still cracks in time all over. Who knows where they all are? Perhaps the Ollifex can be erased?
If you can't find one big enough, though, try saying the incantation backwards. That seems to work a lot for these summoned abominations. Corai should do it!
I somehow don't think that would work. Corai, get to it!
I propose modding
I agree.
[SYNDROME]
[SYN_NAME:Ollioliitis]
[SYN_CONTACT]
[SYN_INGEST]
[SYN_AFFECTED_CLASS:GENERAL_POISON]
[SYN_IMMUNE_CREATURE:CAT:ALL] (for safety reasons, we can't have the minds of cats in control of Olliolifex bodies)
[CE_BODY_TRANSFORMATION:START:0:END:10000] (to limit the amount of power gained to a moderately brief Olli spree)
[CE:CREATURE:OLLIOLIFEX:OLOLOLI]
[CE_ADD_TAG:OPPOSED_TO_LIFE] <- Mandatory
Don't mind me, I'm just off to put this bucket of water back in the well. Also, we conveniently ran out of booze in the last 5 minutes, so if you need a drink, the well's just there.
. . .
Are you trying to get us all killed?
Awesome!
Did you trap them in a burrow? Lock a bunch of doors?
Kobold. Does not know how to lock doors, only how to unlock them.
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 04, 2012, 12:56:05 pm
Are you trying to get us all killed?
Awesome!
Mutually assured destruction mandates the death of a percent of the fortress to go down with our enemies.
I also happened to add roasted salt to most of our food, for the value of course, so please, do indulge yourself.
But as a forum goer, like everyone else here I am immortal.
Soon you will learn, that even forumites can die.
Post by: wierd on May 04, 2012, 01:26:25 pm
A similar effect can be obtained simply by exposing elf merchants. No need for forumites to suffer olliosis.
Thus, to perform this bit of science, the contaminant needs to be put in an islated well just outside, where the depot is. A clever wordplay sign that reads "all natual spring water" in elvish, and "industrial waste" in dwarven needs to be erected. This should help ensure only the desired victims become spawn of ollifex.
We can then kill them, and I can animate the ollifex into zombies.
Post by: Oliolli on May 04, 2012, 01:36:43 pm
Are you trying to get us all killed?
Awesome!
Mutually assured destruction mandates the death of a percent of the fortress to go down with our enemies.
One percent? That's a pretty cheap price.
Hey, Corai! Look! I've got a shiny!
*dangles shiny*
But as a forum goer, like everyone else here I am immortal.
Soon you will learn, that even forumites can die.
That is not living which must eternal lie
and with strange aeons even forumites may die.
I need gizogin to hurry up with that clockwork body. Whispers here has romantic notions that turning the living into monsters *before* they die is somehow beneficial.
A similar effect can be obtained simply by exposing elf merchants. No need for forumites to suffer olliosis.
Thus, to perform this bit of science, the contaminant needs to be put in an isolated well just outside, where the depot is. A clever wordplay sign that reads "all natual spring water" in elvish, and "industrial waste" in dwarven needs to be erected. This should help ensure only the desired victims become spawn of ollifex.
We can then kill them, and I can animate the ollifex into zombies.
There is a problem with your plan.
We can then kill them
Didn't we decide to create these things simply so they could kill the immortal eldritch abomination? What makes you think we can kill them in turn?
(Without destroying the corpses, that is)
Post by: wierd on May 04, 2012, 02:44:36 pm
Just drown em.
I am sure a little plumbing, some floodgates, and some walls should do nicely.
Post by: Corai on May 04, 2012, 04:03:03 pm
Being living, and coming from elven stock, they should inherit the breather tag.
Just drown em.
I am sure a little plumbing, some floodgates, and some walls should do nicely.
If you speak of drowning elves, NEEDS MORE BLOOD.
-From School-
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 04, 2012, 04:50:22 pm
Being living, and coming from elven stock, they should inherit the breather tag.
If you would be so kindly as to sample some condensed Ollioliitis, you would notice a sudden lack of breathing is created upon transformation.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 04, 2012, 04:57:14 pm
The dragonic army floods into the area around the spire and halts before the entrance to the main fortress. Behind them comes Zanzetkuken the Great, and the Master of Air. They rush up to the section of the army facing the spire and turn towards the spire, weapons ready. Demons come up through the new opening, and charge the army. Just before they reach the dragons, Zanzetkuken utters a shout heard throughout the fortress, "I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU KILLED THESE THINGS!"
Post by: wierd on May 04, 2012, 05:08:22 pm
*floats down to the scene of the chaos*
"Look, I freaking DIED putting that wall there! Now, you complain that the army of undead I used to do the job didn't kill an infinite number of demons, purging the HFS for all time? What are you, crazy?"
*looks at the dragons*
"If you insist on using the HFS as a commuter transit lane, at least clean up the mess afterwards!"
*cracks ghostly gnuckles, glides into the hole where the army of undeath made its final stand, and lazily starts gesturing.*
"I can stay on this side and keep them busy with the remaining bits of shattered teeth and fingernails and whatnot that didn't get completely destroyed last time. Just close the damned hole up while I do."
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 04, 2012, 05:14:30 pm
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 04, 2012, 06:09:11 pm
Don't worry, these won't be infinite. Some of the dragons are building a passageway from the curious structure to here along the ceiling. Should only be say, 50-60 thousand. Don't worry, the dragons will hold out. I only predict a mortality rate of 50 dragons, including the Master of Air, but none of the forumites (these dragons work despite danger being only 25 feet away). I'm am not going to be promoted to that position upon his death.
Edit: 1/2 way done!
Post by: WillowLuman on May 04, 2012, 06:18:50 pm
Greetings! We have heard-
...!
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 04, 2012, 06:21:32 pm
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 04, 2012, 06:36:15 pm
Hey Zanzet, dragons like doors right?
These, not so much. Plus, these have the [INTELLIGENT] tag added to their raws. These are civilized dragons, not the "exiles you dare call a megabeast" dragons. They can see the liquids you put on the doors and WILL avoid them.
The dragon has become enraged x495! (lost a couple of them)
Zanzetkuken the Great has transformed into a dragon, armor shape-shifts with him!
Zanzetkuken the Great remains in full control of his body!
The passageway is 28/36ths done!
Post by: wierd on May 04, 2012, 06:39:17 pm
Constructions survive the heat.
*wiggle wiggle*
The dead rise! [Zombie dragon master engages hoarde of demons]
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 04, 2012, 06:51:04 pm
Fire burns off contaminants, iirc.
Constructions survive the heat.
*wiggle wiggle*
The dead rise! [Zombie dragon master engages hoarde of demons]
That's one way. Prefer to leave things alone unless they must go through them. Unless you want us to destroy the contaminants.
Note: Dragons lose former status on death. Used to prevent loyalty to necromancers. I am the new master of air.
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 04, 2012, 06:51:49 pm
Fire burns off contaminants, iirc.
Please do.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 04, 2012, 06:57:17 pm
Fire burns off contaminants, iirc.
Please do.
Will do when the passageway is done!
Passageway progress: 5/6
Post by: wierd on May 04, 2012, 06:59:09 pm
Be sure to jet the fire many tiles away, when nobody else is around so the boiling contaminant cloud has time to dissipate harmlessly.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 04, 2012, 07:06:18 pm
I believe he may have snuck an "inhaled" tag on the syndrome.
Be sure to jet the fire many tiles away, when nobody else is around so the boiling contaminant cloud has time to dissipate harmlessly.
Thanks for catching that! I do not want Ollifexes running around the citadel, but first, the passageway.
Passageway progress: 1/1
The construction of the passage finishes!
Remaining Demons are killed!
Zanzetkuken the Great returns to normal form!
[UNDEAD_CANDIDATE] was removed from dragonic raws!
Zombie dragons collapse.
Corpses are taken back to home citadel.
The Dragonic Army has withdrawn.
Sorry weird, funeral rites and the such must be completed, and the corpses must be non-zombie. You people will have to deal with the contaminants yourselves. The funerals will take until I next post to be completed. No dwarves, forumites, etc. will be allowed into the home citadel during that time. Caravans will not leave the citadel at that time. In essence, the dragons are in full lockdown of the citadels, and will not let out until after the funerals are finished, which will be my next post. Enjoy the trade depot made of steel we built you! The depot cannot be destroyed. It is right below your spire.
Also added [DISEASE_IMMUNE]
Post by: Eric Blank on May 04, 2012, 09:57:29 pm
Post by: wierd on May 04, 2012, 11:16:12 pm
Post by: Corai on May 04, 2012, 11:20:08 pm
Obviously, the elves sent us dragons trained to slaughter kobolds, which explains why I purchased them, they instantly assaulted me! CURSE YOU ELVES!
Yes, the purple burns the eyes. Hehehehehehehe.....
EDIT:
Out of sheer boredom, I decided to make a drawing.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I must say, I drew myself kobold-self
If you know what the W/C means, good for you.
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 05, 2012, 05:08:38 am
In DF, men wearing dresses is perfectly acceptable behavior!Why should it be any other way? :P
I suppose there's nothing to do now except fling the syndrome into the neighboring markets of humies...
Ah yes, their caravan just arrived didn't it?
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 01:50:03 pm
In DF, men wearing dresses is perfectly acceptable behavior!Why should it be any other way? :P
I suppose there's nothing to do now except fling the syndrome into the neighboring markets of humies...
Ah yes, their caravan just arrived didn't it?
I vote we sneak a few kobolds with bottles of said syndrome, if it is liquid, into a barrel. Nothing is more irritating then 12 kobolds running amok spreading brain-rotting goo everywhere!
Post by: Blizzlord on May 05, 2012, 01:51:32 pm
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 05, 2012, 01:53:21 pm
Isn't the word you're looking for with "dragonic," "draconic?"
No, it wasn't. I was referring to the dragons in my mod. (see sig. link: Dragonic Civilization)
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 01:55:33 pm
OH GOD DONT KILL ME.
Post by: Blizzlord on May 05, 2012, 01:57:19 pm
*readies spear*
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 05, 2012, 02:04:10 pm
I vote we sneak a few kobolds with bottles of said syndrome, if it is liquid, into a barrel. Nothing is more irritating then 12 kobolds running amok spreading brain-rotting goo everywhere!
It's liquid at our fortress. So I'd assume it's safe in cold temperatures. Slap that thing in a temperate biome during summer !!B00M!!
Massive cloud of eerie glowing Oliolli.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 05, 2012, 02:05:32 pm
OH.....Um, Zanzetkuken.....I may had enslaved a few dozen of your citizens awhile back.......and got them horribly mutilated by a demons.....Err.....Sorry?
OH GOD DONT KILL ME.
Don't worry, the ones brought by elves and other things are exiles. We don't care about those. Plus, the demons are cut off from your open spire completely by the trade route passageway now. It's right at the base of your spire, and leads to the citadel. Or at least, it did until it was locked down. Now it just leads to a raised bridge. Don't worry, there is no opening to HFS caused by it.
Post by: Oliolli on May 05, 2012, 02:52:27 pm
Massive cloud of eerie glowing Oliolli.
I am going to assume you're not talking about the Ollitats, which are basically superintelligent energy beings, best described as "Clouds of eerie glowing Oliolli".
Post by: Markus on May 05, 2012, 03:04:29 pm
Someone get me to the medical dwarf.
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 03:08:28 pm
And I'm back from trying to tame a giant sponge for a few years.
Someone get me to the medical dwarf.
Oh, finally! A patient!
I dont think the Chief is here, but I know how to use a knife!
Spleen
Heart
Right Lung
Left Lung
Guts
Spleen
.....I do it right?
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 05, 2012, 04:04:18 pm
Post by: Fen on May 05, 2012, 05:18:20 pm
Also I'm not entirely sure that the wall around the fort is finished, and even if it is there is a door that's been jammed full of random articles of clothing.
I have no idea what to even do next. Apparently eagle taming is being researched somewhere. I think I shall attempt to find things underground that are green in color and decorate my room with them. After that, ENGRAVE ALL THE THINGS!
...At least the dining hall is legendary. I have a funny feeling we're going to need that.
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 05:21:55 pm
CAN I TRY AGAIN?
Post by: WillowLuman on May 05, 2012, 06:38:26 pm
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 07:09:58 pm
The human caravan is being consumed by the Ollifex
I get to dissect the corpses, I have a need for human spleens.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 05, 2012, 07:11:13 pm
Forces: 1000 dragons, all immune to disease!
The dragons surround Ollifex!
The dragons simultaneously release a burst of flame that consumes Ollifex!
Ollifex is now !!Ollifex!!
Ollifex is red in all body parts!
All dragons throw fluffy wamblers at Ollifex!
Does it kill Ollifex or not?
A caravan from the dragon citadel has come! (came along HFS passageway)
The caravan gives 25 giant eagles to the Twelfth Bay!
The caravan gives 50 bars of adamantium to the Twelfth Bay!
The caravan gives 500 gold coins for kobolds to the Twelfth Bay!
The merchants are immune to all diseases.
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 07:12:22 pm
The dragonic army has arrived!
Forces: 1000 dragons, all immune to disease!
The dragons surround Ollifex!
The dragons simultaneously release a burst of flame that consumes Ollifex!
Ollifex is now !!Ollifex!!
Ollifex is red in all body parts!
All dragons throw fluffy wamblers at Ollifex!
Does it kill Ollifex or not?
A caravan from the dragon citadel has come! (came along HFS passageway)
The caravan gives 25 giant eagles to the Twelfth Bay!
The caravan gives 50 bars of adamantium to the Twelfth Bay!
The caravan gives 500 gold coins for kobolds to the Twelfth Bay!
The merchants are immune to all diseases.
CoraiUnki: Broker
Ummmm........TAKE IT ALL JUST DONT EAT ME.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 05, 2012, 07:14:47 pm
The dragonic army has arrived!
Forces: 1000 dragons, all immune to disease!
The dragons surround Ollifex!
The dragons simultaneously release a burst of flame that consumes Ollifex!
Ollifex is now !!Ollifex!!
Ollifex is red in all body parts!
All dragons throw fluffy wamblers at Ollifex!
Does it kill Ollifex or not?
A caravan from the dragon citadel has come! (came along HFS passageway)
The caravan gives 25 giant eagles to the Twelfth Bay!
The caravan gives 50 bars of adamantium to the Twelfth Bay!
The caravan gives 500 gold coins for kobolds to the Twelfth Bay!
The merchants are immune to all diseases.
CoraiUnki: Broker
Ummmm........TAKE IT ALL JUST DONT EAT ME.
Note the 500 gold coins on second to last line, kobold.
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 07:34:58 pm
The dragonic army has arrived!
Forces: 1000 dragons, all immune to disease!
The dragons surround Ollifex!
The dragons simultaneously release a burst of flame that consumes Ollifex!
Ollifex is now !!Ollifex!!
Ollifex is red in all body parts!
All dragons throw fluffy wamblers at Ollifex!
Does it kill Ollifex or not?
A caravan from the dragon citadel has come! (came along HFS passageway)
The caravan gives 25 giant eagles to the Twelfth Bay!
The caravan gives 50 bars of adamantium to the Twelfth Bay!
The caravan gives 500 gold coins for kobolds to the Twelfth Bay!
The merchants are immune to all diseases.
CoraiUnki: Broker
Ummmm........TAKE IT ALL JUST DONT EAT ME.
Note the 500 gold coins on second to last line, kobold.
Shiny!
COUGH COUGH AHEM COUGH
......
Three hours later
They been trying to push that bag for hours, I dont think my kobolds are that strong.....
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 05, 2012, 07:39:50 pm
EDIT: "And is NOT a kobold!" shouts dragon merchant at kobold trying to make off with some adamantium bars.
Post by: Orky_Boss on May 05, 2012, 08:42:00 pm
I also racked up a kill count of 800 demons. I think I will have some trouble transitioning weapons...
Well, got to get back to work.
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 08:44:08 pm
Kobolds start falling out of vents and running away, along with a few that were armed.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 05, 2012, 08:50:33 pm
Jonkuflubulis, kobold swordsman, has been struck down
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 09:04:36 pm
Yes! Someone got one!
ITS NOT FOOD, NOR A CANDY BAR. STOP EATING IT!
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 05, 2012, 09:21:31 pm
A adamantite wafer has been stolen!
Yes! Someone got one!
ITS NOT FOOD, NOR A CANDY BAR. STOP EATING IT!
One of the dragon merchant guards comes from behind the kobold that stole the adamantine!
The dragon launches frost breath at the kobold!
The kobold has been struck down!
The dragon returns the wafer to the depot for pickup by the dwarves.
I recently added frost dragons, and 14 others in the form of castes to my mod. So yes, frost breath is possible.
EDIT:Ollifex has been struck down!
I saw none complain of my attack, so I consider Ollifex to be dead.
The dragon army has withdrawn, with only one loss, the master of earth.
Don't worry, we won't shut down like last time. This guy was a jerk. Funeral rites will be completed, due to tradition.
In other news, I ranked up! I am now the master of earth! Don't hesitate to mention any other crisis that will come up!
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 09:28:56 pm
I DECLARE A GRUDGE! We have grown your crops and done your work so you cannot get the joy of doing it! Ha ha!
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 05, 2012, 09:32:55 pm
I see how it is, dragons!
I DECLARE A GRUDGE! We have grown your crops and done your work so you cannot get the joy of doing it! Ha ha!
You realize dragons are carnivores, and our work is attacking enemy civilizations, or ones that seize or steal our goods. Plus, our entire population can become part of the military due to being talented in bite, observer, striker, fighter, archer, and dodger due to natural ability, and many are far stronger than that. Talented in archer due to the fire/frost breath requiring us to aim at the enemy.
You cannot do what you had set out to do.
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 09:36:10 pm
I see how it is, dragons!
I DECLARE A GRUDGE! We have grown your crops and done your work so you cannot get the joy of doing it! Ha ha!
You realize dragons are carnivores, and our work is attacking enemy civilizations, or ones that seize or steal our goods. Plus, our entire population can become part of the military due to being talented in bite, observer, striker, fighter, archer, and dodger due to natural ability, and many are far stronger than that. Talented in archer due to the fire/frost breath requiring us to aim at the enemy.
You cannot do what you had set out to do.
Exactly! We have done what your species cannot do, thus assisting you! We have taken the joys of making booze from you! Ha ha!
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 05, 2012, 09:41:42 pm
I see how it is, dragons!
I DECLARE A GRUDGE! We have grown your crops and done your work so you cannot get the joy of doing it! Ha ha!
You realize dragons are carnivores, and our work is attacking enemy civilizations, or ones that seize or steal our goods. Plus, our entire population can become part of the military due to being talented in bite, observer, striker, fighter, archer, and dodger due to natural ability, and many are far stronger than that. Talented in archer due to the fire/frost breath requiring us to aim at the enemy.
You cannot do what you had set out to do.
Exactly! We have done what your species cannot do, thus assisting you! We have taken the joys of making booze from you! Ha ha!
Yes, like you could kill all the exiled dragons, all the goblins, all the elves, and all the slayers in every realm ever generated. Yeah, good luck with that.
Note: The slayers are child stealers and thieves nineteen better times than any kobold or goblin with one hand cut off and replaced with a random weapon from civilizations that they have conquered, and are 1.5 times the size of a human being. Plus, their gaze paralyzes all except dragons with an iron will, and horrifies every species that ever existed, or will exist.
EDIT: Zanzetkuken the great uses his planeswalker ability to return hugoluman from an alternative dimension.
Hugoluman has organized a party at the dining room, so people can remember him!
I don't remember how I had gotten out of the spire, Btu I guess I did, because ne t thing I knew I was grabbing adamantine wafers to make sets of Armor and weapons with. I had gotten a fey mood earlier, where I got an adamantine short sword that showed an image od ollolli using one of the demons to club away at the other demons, and I must say I was really proud of it.
I also racked up a kill count of 800 demons. I think I will have some trouble transitioning weapons...
Well, got to get back to work.
You were found unconscious by the dragons and taken back up through the spire during the battle when the passageway was built. We left you there when the dragon army returned to the citadel. Close thing, too. The demons were about to start devouring you. I think one bit off your right foot's middle toe before we got you and whoever else was down there out of HFS.
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 09:57:02 pm
I see how it is, dragons!
I DECLARE A GRUDGE! We have grown your crops and done your work so you cannot get the joy of doing it! Ha ha!
You realize dragons are carnivores, and our work is attacking enemy civilizations, or ones that seize or steal our goods. Plus, our entire population can become part of the military due to being talented in bite, observer, striker, fighter, archer, and dodger due to natural ability, and many are far stronger than that. Talented in archer due to the fire/frost breath requiring us to aim at the enemy.
You cannot do what you had set out to do.
Exactly! We have done what your species cannot do, thus assisting you! We have taken the joys of making booze from you! Ha ha!
Yes, like you could kill all the exiled dragons, all the goblins, all the elves, and all the slayers in every realm ever generated. Yeah, good luck with that.
Note: The slayers are child stealers and thieves nineteen better times than any kobold or goblin with one hand cut off and replaced with a random weapon from civilizations that they have conquered, and are 1.5 times the size of a human being. Plus, their gaze paralyzes all except dragons with an iron will, and horrifies every species that ever existed, or will exist.
EDIT: Zanzetkuken the great uses his ability to return hugoluman from an alternative dimension.
Hugoluman has organized a party at the dining room, so people can remember him!I don't remember how I had gotten out of the spire, Btu I guess I did, because ne t thing I knew I was grabbing adamantine wafers to make sets of Armor and weapons with. I had gotten a fey mood earlier, where I got an adamantine short sword that showed an image od ollolli using one of the demons to club away at the other demons, and I must say I was really proud of it.
I also racked up a kill count of 800 demons. I think I will have some trouble transitioning weapons...
Well, got to get back to work.
You were found unconscious by the dragons and taken back up through the spire during the battle when the passageway was built. We left you there when the dragon army returned to the citadel. Close thing, too. The demons were about to start devouring you. I think one bit off your right foot's middle toe before we got you and whoever else was down there.
Irrelevant! We have made you all the booze you need for the next 50 years, depriving you the joy of hard back breaking labor, ha ha!
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 05, 2012, 10:05:42 pm
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 10:07:35 pm
Meh, dragons don't drink booze. They don't make booze. You only gave us stuff to give to the dwarves, for it is below our minimum export levels of giant animals and valuable metal bars. You did nothing.
....
Damn you!
Freebus, find a yak to butcher, we are not loosing this grudge.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 05, 2012, 10:09:56 pm
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 10:12:17 pm
Wasn't Freebus killed when I got the wafer back?
No, that was Jrefbebslus. Freebus is oddly idiotic enough to avoid death, even when its a dagger down his throat.
Meanwhile, outside.......
Kobold1: Okay, boss said to shoot these explosive arrows at the depot, right?
Kobold2: No, he said to wait for the dragons to leave.
Kobold3: No, he said to shoot the dwarves!
Kobold1: There are no dwarves at the depot.
Kobold3: Leave me alone!
Kobold1: SHUT UP.
Explosions
Kobold 1, 2, and 3 have been struck down!
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 05, 2012, 10:21:41 pm
Dragon Guard: Only some kobold voices, then an explosion.
Dragon Merchant: When do you think they will learn our scales are explosive-proof?
Dragon Guard: First they will need to head to the trade depot BELOW THE SPIRE to find us. Then, be smart enough to manage to shoot us.
Dragon Merchant: So, never?
Dragon Guard: Precisely
If I have said it once, I most certainly have said it before, we built you a trade depot below the spire for trade with us dragons.
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 10:28:35 pm
Dragon Merchant: You hear something?
Dragon Guard: Only some kobold voices, then an explosion.
Dragon Merchant: When do you think they will learn our scales are explosive-proof?
Dragon Guard: First they will need to head to the trade depot BELOW THE SPIRE to find us. Then, be smart enough to manage to shoot us.
Dragon Merchant: So, never?
Dragon Guard: Precisely
If I have said it once, I most certainly have said it before, we built you a trade depot below the spire for trade with us dragons.
Kobolds-Notorilously stupid, except me, I am awesome.
Freeble, thats a dragon. Not a rabbit, stop trying to eat it's tail.
Corai slaps Freeble across the face!
Gah, you got tooth blood on my suit.
Post by: Saurinae on May 05, 2012, 10:34:19 pm
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 10:42:23 pm
I saved Indilwen finally. I'm finally back with my bad ass trench coat and black claymore.
We got dragons n-THATS INDILWEN, NOT A ELF.
Kobold1: DONT KILL ME.
So, hows Indilwen going?
Corai is slapped moments later.
Well, that was rude!
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 05, 2012, 10:43:36 pm
Dragon Merchant: You hear something?
Dragon Guard: Only some kobold voices, then an explosion.
Dragon Merchant: When do you think they will learn our scales are explosive-proof?
Dragon Guard: First they will need to head to the trade depot BELOW THE SPIRE to find us. Then, be smart enough to manage to shoot us.
Dragon Merchant: So, never?
Dragon Guard: Precisely
If I have said it once, I most certainly have said it before, we built you a trade depot below the spire for trade with us dragons.
Kobolds-Notorilously stupid, except me, I am awesome.
Freeble, thats a dragon. Not a rabbit, stop trying to eat it's tail.
Corai slaps Freeble across the face!
Gah, you got tooth blood on my suit.
Dragon rotates quickly and readies fire breath. BIIIIG mistake.
I saved Indilwen finally. I'm finally back with my bad ass trench coat and black claymore.
You must really creep people out here.
Don't really care in the home citadel. We have every species running around there, except goblins, and slayers of course, so you would not be noticed back there.
EDIT:
I saved Indilwen finally. I'm finally back with my bad ass trench coat and black claymore.
We got dragons n-THATS INDILWEN, NOT A ELF.
Kobold1: DONT KILL ME.
So, hows Indilwen going?
Corai is slapped moments later.
Well, that was rude!
Even worse. One more mistake like that and kobolds are on the "kill in all realms" list
Post by: Saurinae on May 05, 2012, 10:53:14 pm
You must really creep people out here.
Don't really care in the home citadel. We have every species running around there, except goblins, and slayers of course, so you would not be noticed back there.
Do you have any idea what my trench coat is made of? XD
I am married to Indilwen (yes the kobold female you see in my avatar) by everything but dwarven law anyway.
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 11:01:24 pm
You must really creep people out here.
Don't really care in the home citadel. We have every species running around there, except goblins, and slayers of course, so you would not be noticed back there.
Do you have any idea what my trench coat is made of? XD
I am married to Indilwen (yes the kobold female you see in my avatar) by everything but dwarven law anyway lol
Well, this is quite disturbing.
And now that I know shes married, quite...quite embarrassing......
You, get something deadly in there room, we do not need more kobolds getting the idea that dwarves are good.
Kobold1: But im scared of Indilwen.
.....Really? Really?
Post by: Saurinae on May 05, 2012, 11:18:02 pm
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 11:19:26 pm
Corai were you there when i made my "mood" trench coat?
I dont keep track of time, a kobold has far more important things to do!
Crickets
....See! I have....to do!
Post by: Saurinae on May 05, 2012, 11:20:13 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on May 05, 2012, 11:21:25 pm
We'd spend all our time roleplaying kobolds and dragons, then realize the real kobolds and dragons have stolen all our stuff. :P
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 11:22:40 pm
I made it out of powerful demon faces after killing roughly one-hundred. I think I still have roughly 90 faces left.
.......
Damn, I only killed three. Well, I am going to attempt to teach my kobolds how not to die. Goodbye, goodbye Indilwe-SLAP
WILL YOU FORGET WHAT I ASKED YOU ALREADY.
SLAP
Hiss!
If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
We'd spend all our time roleplaying kobolds and dragons, then realize the real kobolds and dragons have stolen all our stuff. :P
Oh yes.
Post by: Saurinae on May 05, 2012, 11:23:34 pm
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 11:26:51 pm
Hugo Luman Friend
Indilwen Grudge
Saurinae Grudge
Weird Joykill Hated foe
KodKod Passing acquaintance
---
Hiss!
Kobold1: I put a wild lion in there room like you asked boss!
SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP
Post by: Saurinae on May 05, 2012, 11:27:59 pm
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 11:31:23 pm
Kobold1: No your-
Kobold 1 has been struck down!
Post by: Saurinae on May 05, 2012, 11:33:02 pm
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 11:39:06 pm
OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO KILL THE LION, GET THIS THING OFF ME!
Post by: Saurinae on May 05, 2012, 11:41:03 pm
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 11:42:49 pm
Did I just say the caverns are safer? Oh man this place is a true hell-hole.
Post by: Saurinae on May 05, 2012, 11:44:35 pm
*Tath Zagith kicks lion in the chest - ribs crack, splinter and break*
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 11:47:05 pm
What do we do with this now?
*Tath Zagith kicks lion in the chest - ribs crack, splinter and break*
I know two ways.
One, give it to Indilwen as a "pet."
Or train it for war, but I love my first idea.....
Post by: Saurinae on May 05, 2012, 11:48:28 pm
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 11:50:11 pm
Ooh i have an idea! I'll Train it as a war animal and THEN give it to her as a pet ^_^
Make sure only to train it ONCE. Dont mind that its only SOMEWHAT trained, thats elven propaganda to make you treat it better then it deserves!
Post by: Saurinae on May 05, 2012, 11:50:55 pm
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 11:52:31 pm
Plan A is out.....Plan B.....No, not big enough to throw that.....Plan C, no.....she'd maul me......Plan D....The hell WHO WROTE THIS, WHO WROTE THIS DOWN, SHES MARRIED FOR GOODNESS SAKES.
Post by: Saurinae on May 05, 2012, 11:54:01 pm
Post by: Corai on May 05, 2012, 11:58:18 pm
She gets a war mount. ^_^ *Indilwen is overjoyed!*
There goes Plan E......
Plan F, ah!
The falling granite boulder strikes Indilwen in the head, but it falls apart!
Stryophome.....Damnit!
Corai flees into the air vents, safe from nigh everything but kobolds.
Post by: Saurinae on May 05, 2012, 11:59:04 pm
Post by: Corai on May 06, 2012, 12:00:17 am
Corai trips on his own feet!
Theres not enough space to get back up!
Post by: Saurinae on May 06, 2012, 12:01:14 am
Post by: Corai on May 06, 2012, 12:03:13 am
The horrible noise deafens and stuns Indilwen!
Corai stabs Indilwen in the lower body with his Large Copper Dagger, tearing the muscle, tearing the fat, bruising the stomach!
Corai flees!
Post by: Saurinae on May 06, 2012, 12:04:28 am
Post by: Eric Blank on May 06, 2012, 12:22:02 am
Post by: Saurinae on May 06, 2012, 12:25:05 am
Post by: Oliolli on May 06, 2012, 12:56:45 am
Far outside the fortress, in the middle of a now barren wasteland lies a corpse. The corpse of a foul being, once known as the Ollifex, now dead, killed by the dragonic civilization. What they did not know about the Ollifex, however, is that simply killing it is not enough. The corpse must be banished once it is dead, otherwise horrible things will happen. The only living being on this plane of existance that knows this, however, is spending his time chewing on kitten meat in a trade depot in hell. That being has a poor memory, and sometimes has trouble remembering such "trivial" things. Noises start coming from inside the corpse of the Ollifex, and it almost seems as if something is moving beneath it's skin.
Post by: Corai on May 06, 2012, 01:11:58 am
Atleast tenderize it first.
Edit: Bored, DRAWINGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Oliolli on May 06, 2012, 02:11:26 am
Post by: Corai on May 06, 2012, 02:14:09 am
Entrance to the vents are smashed up.
Oh pigs arse......
Post by: Oliolli on May 06, 2012, 05:04:18 am
Wierd, go find the new Corai. He's got to have been reborn by now.
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 06, 2012, 05:45:02 am
I told you.
We should've put those spiders in the air vents.
I told you dawg.
Post by: Corai on May 06, 2012, 06:17:06 am
Well, I am going to hide in the air vents!
Post by: Blizzlord on May 06, 2012, 06:46:00 am
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 06, 2012, 06:47:07 am
The Corai Reborn seeks to hide in the air vents? Flush him out withsmoke/fireGiant Cave Spiders and bring him for justice!
Post by: Blizzlord on May 06, 2012, 06:49:03 am
Post by: Oliolli on May 06, 2012, 06:59:47 am
Post by: Blizzlord on May 06, 2012, 07:01:31 am
Raw modding.No need, I just remembered that the newborn would be worthy of the chase.
Post by: Corai on May 06, 2012, 07:24:40 am
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 06, 2012, 08:32:09 am
Oliolli walks down to the dragonic trade depot, chewing on a piece of kitten meat. "So, you guys are carnivores, right? I take it you've got some experience in preparing kitten meat to make it more tasty. Care to share any secrets?" All of a sudden, Corai emerges from a ventilation shaft next to the depot, horribly bruised and running, soon followed by another kobold wielding a hammer. The two run off, the second kobold, who Oliolli does not recognize, spouting death threats to Corai. The dragons cheer at this. Oliolli continues chewing on the piece of kitten meat.
Far outside the fortress, in the middle of a now barren wasteland lies a corpse. The corpse of a foul being, once known as the Ollifex, now dead, killed by the dragonic civilization. What they did not know about the Ollifex, however, is that simply killing it is not enough. The corpse must be banished once it is dead, otherwise horrible things will happen. The only living being on this plane of existance that knows this, however, is spending his time chewing on kitten meat in a trade depot in hell. That being has a poor memory, and sometimes has trouble remembering such "trivial" things. Noises start coming from inside the corpse of the Ollifex, and it almost seems as if something is moving beneath it's skin.
Well, you did the dragon's reaction perfectly. How would you banish Ollifex?
How do you want the kitten meat done? Hot or Cold? Rare, Medium Rare, etc? Tell the European dragon how you want it, and toss it into the air. It will breathe carefully regulated fire at the meat, and will come down how you want it!
FINALLY, someone who realizes where the depot is at!
The Corai Reborn seeks to hide in the air vents? Flush him out with smoke/fire and bring him for justice!
There are dragons, just ask them to breath fire or frost into the vents depending on which species it is.
Post by: Eric Blank on May 06, 2012, 12:46:38 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 06, 2012, 12:48:14 pm
Post by: Oliolli on May 06, 2012, 12:53:55 pm
No problems with this plan. Absolutely flawless. Trust me.
Post by: Corai on May 06, 2012, 01:12:13 pm
Spiders are seen through the small holes that have been smashed-open.
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 06, 2012, 01:27:10 pm
You tried getting blood out of pig tail gloves? Takes days in the rain to wash.
Post by: Oliolli on May 06, 2012, 01:36:10 pm
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 06, 2012, 03:16:39 pm
nonono, breathing fire into our air vents won't help them distribute air. It would actually be very bad for us.
There's frost breath as well!
What's happening to Ollifex's body? New plan: capture one of the kobolds, make it go berserk, release it after Corai, both run outside and act as scouts of the body. What could possibly go wrong!
EDIT: OR
Dragons move all of their items to the edge of the depot.
Dragon Merchant pulls lever.
Hatch covers in center of depot open (none standing upon them).
3 by 3 by 1z area (sealed from HFS) uncovers in the center of the depot.
You could lure Corai out, place him in the arena against a HOSTILE war dog. Tell him he will be let free if he wins.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 06, 2012, 07:11:47 pm
HugoLuman raises a hand, and the currents of causality gently swirl around the Olifex's body, disintegrating it completely and scattering it to the void and darkness. Corai suddenly finds himself out of the airvent, in a back hallway. He has a chance to run now. Weird is restored to body and life, for now. The cracks in causality are sealed.
"That's fixed then. Good. Now, I feel tired... So very... tired."
HugoLuman has collapsed.
Post by: Fen on May 06, 2012, 09:19:39 pm
HugoLuman, remembered by a pan-dimensional race of dragons, returns to existence from the void. HugoLuman's body has absorbed the entire vortex of time, and pure energy pours from the eyes. "I can see everything, and I can see what must be done!"
HugoLuman raises a hand, and the currents of causality gently swirl around the Olifex's body, disintegrating it completely and scattering it to the void and darkness. Corai suddenly finds himself out of the airvent, in a back hallway. He has a chance to run now. Weird is restored to body and life, for now. The cracks in causality are sealed.
"That's fixed then. Good. Now, I feel tired... So very... tired."
HugoLuman has collapsed.
Ursit Mconlooker has been striken by melancholyx180
Post by: Eric Blank on May 06, 2012, 09:46:49 pm
Post by: Kofthefens on May 06, 2012, 10:38:35 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 06, 2012, 10:41:11 pm
Post by: Oliolli on May 06, 2012, 11:39:11 pm
HugoLuman, remembered by a pan-dimensional race of dragons, returns to existence from the void. HugoLuman's body has absorbed the entire vortex of time, and pure energy pours from the eyes. "I can see everything, and I can see what must be done!"
HugoLuman raises a hand, and the currents of causality gently swirl around the Olifex's body, disintegrating it completely and scattering it to the void and darkness. Corai suddenly finds himself out of the airvent, in a back hallway. He has a chance to run now. Weird is restored to body and life, for now. The cracks in causality are sealed.
"That's fixed then. Good. Now, I feel tired... So very... tired."
HugoLuman has collapsed.
If you'll excuse me, I have several A4s full of ideas to burn...
Post by: Blizzlord on May 06, 2012, 11:42:35 pm
If you'll excuse me, I have several A4s full of ideas to burn...Don't burn them! Chop them up with a sword and then burn them.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 06, 2012, 11:44:54 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on May 06, 2012, 11:53:19 pm
Post by: Blizzlord on May 06, 2012, 11:54:50 pm
Post by: Oliolli on May 06, 2012, 11:55:56 pm
Post by: flieroflight on May 07, 2012, 03:11:03 am
Post by: Oliolli on May 07, 2012, 07:35:36 am
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 07, 2012, 08:31:45 am
Hey, are LW's barrels of Ollioliitis still around? The Ollifex is gone, but maybe I can still apply some of these ideas to the Olliolifexes...
Could probably put them in the air vents too.
HEY CORAI
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 07, 2012, 10:06:04 am
HugoLuman, remembered by a pan-dimensional race of dragons, returns to existence from the void. HugoLuman's body has absorbed the entire vortex of time, and pure energy pours from the eyes. "I can see everything, and I can see what must be done!"
HugoLuman raises a hand, and the currents of causality gently swirl around the Olifex's body, disintegrating it completely and scattering it to the void and darkness. Corai suddenly finds himself out of the airvent, in a back hallway. He has a chance to run now. Weird is restored to body and life, for now. The cracks in causality are sealed.
"That's fixed then. Good. Now, I feel tired... So very... tired."
HugoLuman has collapsed.
You are welcome.
EDIT:Dragon medic restores strength to HugoLuman
I sent someone over.
Post by: Blizzlord on May 07, 2012, 11:10:34 am
Post by: wierd on May 07, 2012, 01:51:55 pm
The memory is fuzzy, but he distinctly remembers being a ghost, and that it was awesome.
Shrugging off the wild fantasy, he crawls out of bed for what seems like the first time in a very vlong time. Strange sensations assail him, and it is only after a moment or two of reflection that he recognizes them as hunger and thirst.
"Either I've been asleep way too long, or I should go see gizogen about my head...." he murmurs to himself, as he slips into his pigtail clothes.
Passing through to the stockpiles from the residential quarters, a strange sensation stirs in the back of his mind, and before he really understands why, he detours through the memorial hall.
Tucked away, almost out of sight is a solid gold memorial slab that shouldn't be there. Mixed feelings of apprenension and subconscious goading twist into indescribable emotional sensations, as he anxiously and with great trepidation closes in on the slab.
In terrible handwriting that only a kobold could make, a profane denoucement of a scientist is inscribed, but where the name goes, there is only a horribly slashed splotch on the otherwise gleaming metal surface.
Confronted with physicial evidence to corroberate the dream, the mad cientist stumbles backward, and trips over a small ossuary dedicated to some other dwarf's kitten, and lands on his bottom with a thump; splayed out in a very uncomely and undignified position.
From the vents overhead, a shrill screaming and the sound of jointed legs being against the metal draws closer.
Weird joykill questions the validity of reality as it currently exists.
After a few moments of (fairly) quiet reflection on this substantiation of his dream, weird joykill ignores his hunger and thirst, and returns to his lab.
The lab had originally had nasty orthoclase and microcline walls. It now had the very, very wrong but far more aesthetically pleasing obsidian ones. Though rough hewn, it was a very nice improvement to the room.
Digging in the fire cabinet, he withdraws two glass bottles of hydrocyanic acid, a charcoal powered breizer, a length of tanned kitten intestine tubing, and the vent key.
Heading to the fume hood, he shuts the main exit vent, opens the recirculation vent, and sets up the cyanide gas "bug bomb", but doesn't light the breizer.
He instead waddles his short yet stout dwarven frame out of the lab, vent shutoff key in hand, the imminent needs of food and drink being terribly incessant.
On the way to the stockpiles, he idly talks at all the people leaving their quarters, contemplating why it is that some of them seem utterly terrified to see him, and quickly slam their doors. Others seem releived by his presence however, and with some nice, calming conversation, the instructions for everyone to close their vents and plug them with wet cloth to get rid of a "massive infestation" of large roaches in the vent system seems fairly well received.
The strawberry wine, and =plump helmet roast= were particularly agreeable when he finally got to the stockpiles. Refueled and liquored up, the insane scientist's plans spring into doubletime as the sobriety wears off.
In a seemingly mad dash, he rushes through the fortress sealing duct exits, and plugging them appropriately, until at last the only vents open are the main line leading to the air outside, and the tributary line from his lab.
With a smile, he heads back to the lab.
Weird joykill absolutely detests large roaches.
Post by: Gizogin on May 07, 2012, 02:44:05 pm
I've completed the clockwork body I was working on, but I forget whom I was making it for. No matter! It was a rousing success all the same. In fact, I may have to seriously look into streamlining the process for mass-production. There are also a few minor quirks I want to work out.
To the future owner of the Mk. I G-Body:
It's ready. I'll need to go over the usage and maintenance instructions, and you'll have to undergo a brief period of observation and rehabilitation, but that shouldn't be too much of a hassle.
Post by: flieroflight on May 07, 2012, 02:59:39 pm
Im rather impressed.
Post by: Eric Blank on May 07, 2012, 03:41:54 pm
Forum needs more roleplay? :P
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 07, 2012, 03:45:31 pm
Hooray for clockwork! Hooray for many, many pages in this thread that I still have to read!
I've completed the clockwork body I was working on, but I forget whom I was making it for. No matter! It was a rousing success all the same. In fact, I may have to seriously look into streamlining the process for mass-production. There are also a few minor quirks I want to work out.
To the future owner of the Mk. I G-Body:
It's ready. I'll need to go over the usage and maintenance instructions, and you'll have to undergo a brief period of observation and rehabilitation, but that shouldn't be too much of a hassle.
So, how long till you can get the clockwork bodies out like clockwork?
You know, i think youve managed to drive off KodKod.
Im rather impressed.
So, do we raid the temple or not?
I am so dead if KodKod comes back.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 07, 2012, 06:13:21 pm
...Raid that temple!
HugoLuman sputters, and falls unconscious. No signs of life other than a high temperature.
PS: Clockwork vs Spawn of Olifex anyone?
Post by: Gizogin on May 07, 2012, 07:14:10 pm
Hooray for clockwork! Hooray for many, many pages in this thread that I still have to read!
I've completed the clockwork body I was working on, but I forget whom I was making it for. No matter! It was a rousing success all the same. In fact, I may have to seriously look into streamlining the process for mass-production. There are also a few minor quirks I want to work out.
To the future owner of the Mk. I G-Body:
It's ready. I'll need to go over the usage and maintenance instructions, and you'll have to undergo a brief period of observation and rehabilitation, but that shouldn't be too much of a hassle.
So, how long till you can get the clockwork bodies out like clockwork?
I have no idea. I still have the Mk. I blueprints, so I can make more of them without too much difficulty, but it's far from efficient. I need to standardize the individual parts so they can be more easily interchanged and replaced. Then, I have to design the machinery to manufacture the parts; making them by hand just won't cut it. Even before that, I have to make sure the Mk. I G-Body actually works properly, and I'll want to improve the design significantly before releasing it in any significant numbers. In short; it'll be hideously complicated, expensive, and time-consuming. We're talking about technology that is untested, and likely impossible.
Ask me again in a week.
Seriously though, for whom did I actually build this thing? Was it originally Oliolli's, to replace all the organs lost to KodKod, but then claimed by wierd after Oliolli no longer needed/wanted it? The other way around? Something else entirely? I completely forgot in the space of the last few days.
Post by: Corai on May 07, 2012, 10:38:56 pm
Meanwhile, in a fort ruled by kobolds.....
WORK GODDAMNIT, DO YOU WANT TO DIE OF DEHYDRATION? GO FREAKING BUY BOOZE BEFO-Too late, your dead.....and him....and him......and her.......
Post by: WillowLuman on May 07, 2012, 11:05:00 pm
Post by: Corai on May 07, 2012, 11:05:43 pm
Post by: tahujdt on May 08, 2012, 01:38:30 am
Post by: Oliolli on May 08, 2012, 07:54:21 am
It'll be idle for a few days, then someone will need it again.
The lone kobold was dragging the strange, tightly sealed barrel away from the fort. Corai had been a cruel boss, and Gbaneg had decided to escape, taking sometthing with him. Upon reaching the center of the eerie, barren plot of land he stopped for a breather. He looked at the barrel again. Made out of steel, for whatever reason, and boasting a beautiful image (http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSCjw-fJ0ZqCcCVqqQWSGrbrrwZmW2s1XnRCSNm6e_Ou4K_qGIW) on the side, made out of orthoclase and obsidian, along with some text. Gbaneg couldn't read, unfortunately, so he ignored the text, instead opting to try to pry the lid open. After a few minutes (and the loss of two teeth) he finally managed to open the barrel. Inside was a murky blue substance. Gbaneg prodded the substance with his finger, wondering what it was, and why it had been locked up so tightly.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 08, 2012, 10:46:00 am
Body burning out from that stunt in my last post... last request...
...Raid that temple!
HugoLuman sputters, and falls unconscious. No signs of life other than a high temperature.
PS: Clockwork vs Spawn of Olifex anyone?
Were you not paying attention to one of my posts! I sent over a medic that restored health to you!
Dragons are preparing to raid temple to KodKod!
Post by: flieroflight on May 08, 2012, 03:06:28 pm
Body burning out from that stunt in my last post... last request...
...Raid that temple!
HugoLuman sputters, and falls unconscious. No signs of life other than a high temperature.
PS: Clockwork vs Spawn of Olifex anyone?
Were you not paying attention to one of my posts! I sent over a medic that restored health to you!
Dragons are preparing to raid temple to KodKod!
I dont think anyone knows whats happening in this thread anymore
Post by: wierd on May 08, 2012, 03:31:13 pm
See, take hugo's recent attempt to fix his temporal anomaly:
He has to make the anomaly in order for him to become godlike and try to fix it. If he fixes it, thus preventing him from creating it, he won't have ever become godlike, and thus couldn't have fixed it. This means he couldn't have stopped himself, and the anomaly becomes real.... (whirl, whirl, whirl. Goes the recursion loop.)
In order to fix it, the events that transpired to create the anomaly must happen. The effects of the anomaly after this point are corrected, and the anomaly neutralized. Only this way is causality maintained, and the paradox avoided. This is why my character finds the memorial slab, and other evidence of his homocidal, zombie rampage. The negative outcome of his death was corrected, but he still did die.
(I could give the Doctor a run for his sonic screwdriver when it comes to understanding paradoxes. I find them fascinating.)
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 08, 2012, 03:50:28 pm
Dragon1: There's nothing in here.
Dragon2: What? I thought there would be a ton of loot from this place!
Zanzetkuken: It must be that when one of the forumites is no longer is around, all of their items are removed from existence until they return.
Master of Water: That makes sense. But why would none of our stuff do anything like that?
Zanzetkuken: Consider the Insanity surrounding this place. It must be an abnormality about this place.
Master of Water: True. True. Should we withdraw?
Zanzetkuken: After we seal this place in by melting the doors.
KodKod's room is no longer accessible.
The dragons have withdrawn.
Post by: JJtoocool on May 08, 2012, 03:51:22 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 08, 2012, 03:57:47 pm
So... Is this fortress dead yet? How long did it last?Spoiler (click to show/hide)
It's not dead yet! We still have to face the exiled and the slayers! Speaking of which...
A vile force of darkness has come!
Here come the exiled!
Note: The exiled are a quasi-organized rabble who's people are dragons. They have the ability to break down raised bridges.
Edit: Note to self: Never speak of the exiled or the slayers again!
A vile force of darkness has come!
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A vile force of darkness has come!
We're popular with these folk!
A vile force of darkness has come!
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A vile force of darkness has come!
A vile force of darkness has come!
Or they really hate us.
Post by: JJtoocool on May 08, 2012, 04:17:21 pm
Is someone still playing the fort?
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 08, 2012, 04:34:27 pm
So... What is going on in this thread?
Is someone still playing the fort?
1- massive sieges and ollifex may come back due to a kobold.
2- Fen was the last person to have it so, Fen?
Post by: Eric Blank on May 08, 2012, 05:23:50 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 08, 2012, 08:17:39 pm
@Legion of Dragons - No medical attention can save me, I've burnt out my body by absorbing too much energy. As a side effect of temporalness, probably no ghost if I die. At best I will be in a coma, but we'll see how things go down.
Also, what happens when those renegades get contaminated?
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 08, 2012, 08:20:34 pm
Fen will be back soon, I reckon.
@Legion of Dragons - No medical attention can save me, I've burnt out my body by absorbing too much energy. As a side effect of temporalness, probably no ghost if I die. At best I will be in a coma, but we'll see how things go down.
Also, what happens when those renegades get contaminated?
It was one dragon and it used magic, so you would be in the best condition possible, which would be a coma in that case.
I might, and I stress MIGHT be able to create an alternative fort. Trying an upload would be extremely difficult. (curse you dial-up speeds)
EDIT: If it is possible, can I use my mod? (see sig link to dragonic civilization)
Post by: Oliolli on May 08, 2012, 11:51:23 pm
Post by: Corai on May 09, 2012, 12:57:31 pm
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 09, 2012, 02:16:19 pm
Well, I am atschool"how to not die" classes. What did I miss. :)
see second to last post on prior page, and two posts above yours.
Post by: Gizogin on May 09, 2012, 02:40:48 pm
Post by: Corai on May 09, 2012, 07:59:04 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 10, 2012, 12:41:03 am
Also, so do I go in the hospital to take up a bed for an indefinite amount of time, or do I get stockpiled on some kind of shelf?
BTW, all our vent problems can be solved with GCS silk over the entrances and at key junctions. GCS doesn't need to go anywhere near, we can just harvest the silk and
Post by: Oliolli on May 10, 2012, 07:26:06 am
The lone kobold was dragging the strange, tightly sealed barrel away from the fort. Corai had been a cruel boss, and Gbaneg had decided to escape, taking sometthing with him. Upon reaching the center of the eerie, barren plot of land he stopped for a breather. He looked at the barrel again. Made out of steel, for whatever reason, and boasting a beautiful image (http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSCjw-fJ0ZqCcCVqqQWSGrbrrwZmW2s1XnRCSNm6e_Ou4K_qGIW) on the side, made out of orthoclase and obsidian, along with some text. Gbaneg couldn't read, unfortunately, so he ignored the text, instead opting to try to pry the lid open. After a few minutes (and the loss of two teeth) he finally managed to open the barrel. Inside was a murky blue substance. Gbaneg prodded the substance with his finger, wondering what it was, and why it had been locked up so tightly.
Gbaneg.
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 10, 2012, 03:57:22 pm
"All subjects stopped at a defined square border."
"Escape from the Twelth Bay deemed so far, impossible."
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 10, 2012, 07:43:40 pm
"In the first experiment, subjects 'Urist', 'Mosus', and 'Tobul' were told to continue walking in a straight line, not stopping for anything."
"All subjects stopped at a defined square border."
"Escape from the Twelth Bay deemed so far, impossible."
Unless you are caravans or armies without the [FLIER] tag!
Post by: WillowLuman on May 10, 2012, 08:56:04 pm
Post by: Corai on May 10, 2012, 09:01:20 pm
Gbaneg?Air vents, or the kobold highway?
Also, so do I go in the hospital to take up a bed for an indefinite amount of time, or do I get stockpiled on some kind of shelf?
BTW, all our vent problems can be solved with GCS silk over the entrances and at key junctions. GCS doesn't need to go anywhere near, we can just harvest the silk andsend Corai in toweave over ducts and key junctions
Post by: Broseph Stalin on May 10, 2012, 10:01:31 pm
Air vents, or the kobold highway?If we let Kobolds in the air vents we'll never be rid of the smell.
Post by: Corai on May 10, 2012, 10:04:04 pm
Air vents, or the kobold highway?If we let Kobolds in the air vents we'll never be rid of the smell.
I make my kobolds go into soapy drowning chambers before they come into the fort. So all is good!
Post by: WillowLuman on May 10, 2012, 11:47:28 pm
Post by: Oliolli on May 11, 2012, 12:09:30 am
Post by: WillowLuman on May 11, 2012, 12:21:20 am
Thus began the most epic battle of all time.
Post by: Eric Blank on May 11, 2012, 12:36:09 am
I propose we fire the missiles, erect a quick barrier of obsidian (with our dual pressurized magma and water cannons) and give my stoneworkers some time to set up a little trap in the entry hall.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 11, 2012, 03:39:16 pm
Suddenly, from the center of the Earth, burst the Hammerhead yak riding the Hammerhead whale!Also with
Thus began the most epic battle of all time.
Niminem Ultima, the mobile dragonic fortress! It is in the shape of a dragon! It fires magma like an actual long-distance cannon instead of the short-distance ones bay12ers build!
No idea how I came up with that...
Post by: wierd on May 11, 2012, 04:08:21 pm
*begins work on something epically vicious*
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 11, 2012, 04:13:14 pm
"All bolts impacted against a supposed invisible wall, falling to the ground."
"Invisible wall nicknamed the Fourth Wall of Oily gears, of the Fourth Wall for short."
Post by: wierd on May 11, 2012, 05:08:06 pm
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 11, 2012, 07:16:54 pm
Gbaneg has become !!Gbaneg!!!
Niminem Ultima fires secondary cannons at the hammerhead yak riding the hammerhead whale!
The hammerhead yak riding the hammerhead whale has become !!hammerhead yak!! riding the !!hammerhead whale!!!
"Experiment 2: Subjects 'Urist,' 'Mosus,' 'Ingish,' and 'Tobul' were given crossbows, and told to fire raven bone bolts directly in front of them, in as arced a trajectory as possible."
"All bolts impacted against a supposed invisible wall, falling to the ground."
"Invisible wall nicknamed the Fourth Wall of Oily gears, of the Fourth Wall for short."
Why does "Welcome to the Hotel California" come to mind, but instead of "Welcome to the Hotel California", it is "Welcome to the Twelfth Bay"? Surprisingly applicable if you replace all of the "Hotel California"s in the song with "the Twelfth Bay".
Experiment 3: Going Vertical
Post by: Corai on May 11, 2012, 07:46:16 pm
....HIDE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 11, 2012, 08:58:26 pm
I'm really starting to believe that someone must have secretly set up some kind of square containment force-field around our area. But the tech to refine the forcefield to only us and our weapons is... unimaginably advance. Should we fall, my only hope is that Gbaneg will be trapped here as well.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 11, 2012, 09:01:50 pm
Why you shoot hammerheads!? They're on our side! Skip to 8:31 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7092F4MVjVo)
I'm really starting to believe that someone must have secretly set up some kind of square containment force-field around our area. But the tech to refine the forcefield to only us and our weapons is... unimaginably advance. Should we fall, my only hope is that Gbaneg will be trapped here as well.
Square? It's a cube! We built upwards, and couldn't build any higher due to the field at the home citadel! Only merchants and armies are immune...
Post by: Corai on May 11, 2012, 09:10:35 pm
Corai walks over, begins to laugh, and begins to scream in agony, shaking like four thousand volts of electricity just entered his spinal cord, the results of the ability to both be stuck, and able to leave.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 11, 2012, 09:18:16 pm
The field came around every site after a bit of magic used by the elves upon the dragons went ary and the result was a cube around every site that ever had, is, and ever will exist!
EDIT: This is the 2700th reply!
Post by: Corai on May 11, 2012, 09:20:33 pm
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 11, 2012, 09:22:31 pm
Post by: Saurinae on May 11, 2012, 11:27:44 pm
Post by: Corai on May 11, 2012, 11:32:08 pm
I'm finally back, also Indilwen doesn't smell. The Elf blood in her requires her to bathe in natural springs XD
.....
Elf.
Freeble, find the sniper rifl-Oh wait we left it in another thread.....Find me some adamanite, I need a shortsword-Oh wait, they'd never let us get any...........
...OH HI INDILWEN HAHAHA I am not trying to kill you..........
Post by: Saurinae on May 11, 2012, 11:34:28 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Corai on May 11, 2012, 11:37:17 pm
.......
HOW THE HELL DO YOU MAKE BRAIN BLEACH AGAIN? OKay kobold bone dust.....pure evil Oh god that means I need KodKod's blood...... Skip that.....dwarf blood...
A nearby dwarf screams as I put a gash in his leg.
.....And pure good.
OH INDILWEEEEEEEEEEN, I NEED TO STAB YOOOOOU.
Post by: Saurinae on May 11, 2012, 11:38:06 pm
Post by: Corai on May 11, 2012, 11:39:39 pm
Note to self, stockpile Pure Good in Indilwen's sleep....
Oh god I am tempted to draw that. But I am currently buckled down with Hugomuans's Deebus picture. >.>
Post by: Saurinae on May 11, 2012, 11:41:02 pm
EDIT: Wait don't we have all those elves in cages?
Post by: wierd on May 11, 2012, 11:47:55 pm
A plan to purge the vents was interrupted by an emergency recently.
He was assaulted by a lilliputian psychopath with a large copper dagger for absolutely no reason recently.
He overheard a nasty sexual joke recently.
Post by: Saurinae on May 11, 2012, 11:49:19 pm
Post by: Corai on May 11, 2012, 11:50:48 pm
Great, not only does this brain bleach only work for dwarves, but now Weird Joykill has returned.
Indilwen, do you still have that hammer?
Post by: wierd on May 11, 2012, 11:51:04 pm
But I might take it if I can force it doen corai's throat for stabbing my leg earlier.
Oh hi there corai......
I hear you are scared of this "gbaneg" character?... well.... you know..........
(You might be safe if you hide in one of the biohazardous waste barrels... a nice clean one you know... if it can keep the goop in, it can keep it out too.)
Post by: Saurinae on May 11, 2012, 11:54:59 pm
-Tath Zagith to Weird- Oops, sorry about your superdwarven memory abilities.
Post by: wierd on May 12, 2012, 12:00:46 am
I blame being run over as a child. Four times.
Post by: Saurinae on May 12, 2012, 12:02:53 am
Post by: wierd on May 12, 2012, 12:10:14 am
Had a blackened front tooth until I was 8 out of the deal, but I was actually pushed down the stairs on that one.
Getting run over the first time was totally my fault though. Got a concussion from it, and was in the hospital for weeks. I remember a nice lady gave me some wrigley's chewing gum for being cute.
The other 3 times? Not my fault. Fell out of the car and run over during a turn when the door opened... backed over in the driveway.... and thumped by a moron doing a right turn on red.
By all accounts, I should probably be dead. I've been attacked by a dumped off fighting rooster, run over 4 times, pushed down concrete steps, drug by a horse, squashed into the ground by a cow, kicked by a horse (several times), fallen off the barn.. attacked by feral dogs...
You might think I am accident prone, but not really. These were spread out over a whole childhood.
The fighting rooster left some gnarly scars though.
Post by: Saurinae on May 12, 2012, 12:11:27 am
Post by: Corai on May 12, 2012, 12:13:36 am
Thats why I am so disturbing IRL. And memory loss.
Post by: Saurinae on May 12, 2012, 12:14:22 am
Post by: wierd on May 12, 2012, 12:15:09 am
(Scarred me for life!)
Lol!
The scars are deep too. Right over the femeral artery on the inside of my thighs. A little deeper and I probably would be dead.
Post by: Saurinae on May 12, 2012, 12:16:13 am
Post by: Corai on May 12, 2012, 12:18:26 am
Post by: MrButtchicker on May 12, 2012, 12:21:03 am
Yeah, but it makes for funny conversation to say I was viciously attacked by an angry cock.Huh, was it by chance your cock that attacked you? That would make an even better story.
(Scarred me for life!)
Lol!
The scars are deep too. Right over the femeral artery on the inside of my thighs. A little deeper and I probably would be dead.
Post by: wierd on May 12, 2012, 12:35:59 am
Tore me up what good in my swimming trunks. Got scars all over my ass, back and thighs. Deep purple scary ones.
I tease and say it was from a psycho ex girlfriend. ;)
Post by: Corai on May 12, 2012, 12:40:17 am
....
You win, my mortal foe.
Post by: Saurinae on May 12, 2012, 12:41:30 am
Post by: wierd on May 12, 2012, 12:51:41 am
XD So that would have to be one hell of a pissed off ex though
Chicks man, you just can't trust em!
(LOL!)
Post by: Reudh on May 12, 2012, 01:07:34 am
That's the reason I'm strange. (in addition to my eccentricity.)
Post by: Corai on May 12, 2012, 01:23:37 am
XD So that would have to be one hell of a pissed off ex though
Chicks man, you just can't trust em!
(LOL!)
I'll drink to that.
Post by: Eric Blank on May 12, 2012, 01:41:27 am
Post by: wierd on May 12, 2012, 01:45:59 am
Well, I do, but its there and gone. Doesn't linger like pain used to before I embarked on my super dangerous childhood.
Post by: Oliolli on May 12, 2012, 01:50:05 am
(You might be safe if you hide in one of the biohazardous waste barrels... a nice clean one you know... if it can keep the goop in, it can keep it out too.)
We already have Gbaneg, now you want to turn Corai into one of those things too?
Shower door (made out of glass) fell apart while I was leaving said shower. Gave me multiple scars and had to see a doctor to get some bits of glass out.
Yeah, that's the worst that has happened to me.
My strangeness is all natural, not caused by accidents.
Ninja'd twice while writing this...
Post by: wierd on May 12, 2012, 01:52:55 am
Post by: Reudh on May 12, 2012, 01:53:33 am
It even lasted long enough for me to treat my injuries (abrasions, lacerations, etc) with betadine/iodine before the pain came back and I realised just how injured I was. :P
No broken bones (very, very strong bones. Never broken any).
I had abrasions on my hands, arms and legs. Lacerated my thigh from hitting the bike's handlebars / fork. Lacerated my eyebrow.
Seriously, it was a sight to see. The thirteen year old limping home dripping blood. (Probably should've called my parents, but I was near home and I didn't want to stress them.)
My head bounced on the road nearly eight times. If I had've not been wearing a helmet, I don't doubt that my brain would've been splattered on the road. As it was, the helmet broke almost in two.
Post by: Corai on May 12, 2012, 01:55:45 am
......Im gonna go hide now, before he turns your ultimate weapon into scrapmetal-OOOOOOHOHOHOHOHH! YOU USED GOLD FOR DECORATION?
Corai turns around and waits for the fortress to be shattered.
And I heard you Weird Joykill, like I would fall-IS AT THAT A AMETHYST IN THAT BARREL?
Post by: wierd on May 12, 2012, 01:59:49 am
There's even a rare star ruby in there too!
...............
Post by: Corai on May 12, 2012, 02:03:36 am
Post by: wierd on May 12, 2012, 02:12:41 am
Perhaps you prefer oddities though, like an alexandrite (http://www.alexandrite.net/assets/images/pics/photo_natural_alexandrite_mixedlight.jpg)? Two different colors! Wine red-purple indoors, flashy green outdoors.
Maybe you prefer more common, but delicate stones, like opals. (http://static.opalauctions.com/uploads/images/145000-149999/148866/148866_1231198183.jpg)
Post by: Eric Blank on May 12, 2012, 02:14:44 am
Of course there's a shitload of other gems available, too!
Post by: Corai on May 12, 2012, 02:16:54 am
...
Wait, I am a kobold.
Corai stabs Weird Joykill in the leg, causing him to drop the gem, Corai grabs it and flees, into a pit, and a steel roof covers him.
Post by: wierd on May 12, 2012, 02:18:57 am
Opals are such fragile things.
These are usually a pearlescent white, with glittery flakes of green. Some have bits of orange. Never seen any bigger than a pencil eraser though.
Post by: Reudh on May 12, 2012, 02:22:49 am
Post by: Eric Blank on May 12, 2012, 02:26:19 am
Occasionally I find small bits of sprarkly green opal in the ninnescah river here, washed out of the rockies way out west. Being so soft though, the river has usually eroded them down to nothing, and the excessive moisture has harmed them.
Opals are such fragile things.
These are usually a pearlescent white, with glittery flakes of green. Some have bits of orange. Never seen any bigger than a pencil eraser though.
My crafting material supply shelves have been inundated with common opal/agates/jasper recently. With summer semester off from classes, I intend to fix that!
It's all rather lovely colors, especially for Saint Patrick's Day. Deep to mint greens, orange/red of varying shades, and wonderful milky gray plume agate. Also some basic white and red chert deposits in the mountains here. Lovely stuff, this silica.
Best of all, I'll be getting a restock on the agate and deep green jasper this August.
Post by: wierd on May 12, 2012, 02:37:03 am
Out west we have chrinoid and trilobite fossils and ancient shark teeth. Out east, in the flint hills, we have all kinds of flints and cherts.
To the southwest, we have beautifully deep colored yellow and red sandstones just oozing with red and yellow ocre. (Check out the photos from kanopolis state park on google image search. Just look at all the yellow ocre in this sand! (http://lh4.ggpht.com/-PZLYjyv7ZiU/Tq9q8rlOqRI/AAAAAAAAEis/rzDX0T7bqVA/Kanopolis_Football%252520631%25255B4%25255D.jpg))
In my area though, the most interesting features are a local earthenware clay that melts into a really sexy bright emerald green glass, and crystalline gypsum deposits.
I really want to set up a real glass works and ceramicist shop some day. I love clay and glass.
Post by: Reudh on May 12, 2012, 02:39:30 am
Post by: Eric Blank on May 12, 2012, 02:46:01 am
Post by: wierd on May 12, 2012, 02:48:10 am
We have fossils of everything from small chrinoids, to giant sea creatures.
The sternberg natural history museum has a very fine selection of high quality museum peices dug up from this area.
Near castle rock, you are literally garanteed to find fossilized shark bits. Usually only the jaw and teeth fossilize, due to sharks lacking true bones though. You find chrinoids all over kansas though.
Oh yeah... forgot to mention mother of pearl!
While the shells are really thin, the ninnescah river has a unique native mussel species called a "pink heelsplitter" (http://www.auburn.edu/academic/science_math/cosam/collections/invertebrates/collections/species/unionoida/images/Palatus.JPG), which has rose-pink colored mother of pearl, with hints of green and blue irridescense. It makes beautiful lapidary.
Also, while probably not native, wellington fishing lake is overrun with quadrula quadrula (maple leaf) mussels, which produce very thick, white mother of pearl. Large quadrula quadrula are used to make round seed pearls for innoculating oysters, but the pearl itself from these mussels is a nice satiny white. Near the hinge, they can be over an inch thick.
Post by: Oliolli on May 12, 2012, 04:46:45 am
Post by: Eric Blank on May 12, 2012, 08:51:23 am
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 12, 2012, 11:36:32 am
‼Gbaneg‼ lets out a mighty roar as the fires harden it's skin. Charging at Niminem Ultima in a state of rage comparable to those of giant sponges, Niminem Ultima is momentarily disabled. Using this moment to it's advantage, ‼Gbaneg‼ moves to the side of Niminem Ultima and charges again, almost knocking the fortress over. Noticing the ‼hammerhead whale‼ and ‼hammerhead yak‼ approaching form his left, ‼Gbaneg‼ spins 270° clockwise and transfers all this momentum into a powerful punch that knocks the ‼hammerhead yak‼ off the ‼hammerhead whale‼. Grabbing the ‼hammerhead whale‼, ‼Gbaneg‼ starts turning and rotating, building up momentum to throw the ‼hammerhead whale‼ away. By the time Niminem Ultima and the ‼hammerhead yak‼ were ready for battle again, ‼Gbaneg‼ had built up all the momentum he needed. ‼Gbaneg‼ throws the ‼hammerhead whale‼ aiming for the ‼hammerhead yak‼, resulting in both of the combatants soon finding themselves in what was once an elven forest retreat, now a wreck left behind by the Ollifex. Those two dealt with for now, ‼Gbaneg‼ turns his attention to Niminem Ultima again. This mobile fortress wouldn't be mobile for much longer... nor a fortress.(You might be safe if you hide in one of the biohazardous waste barrels... a nice clean one you know... if it can keep the goop in, it can keep it out too.)
We already have Gbaneg, now you want to turn Corai into one of those things too?
Oh, you're trying that! I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this, but I must save the mobile fort that was built in a strange mood!
With the damage of the fort and the death of the master of water, the dragons fire off the "secret" cannon that utilizes a burst of anti-matter and obliterates !!Gbaneg!!! The particles are blasted into sub-space!
BURN!
Post by: Oliolli on May 12, 2012, 12:07:31 pm
But what form of rocks!? :D
I don't know about the specific minerals etc. but Finland's ground is mainly moraine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moraine). Granite would be a good guess at what rock is in question.
‼Gbaneg‼ lets out a mighty roar as the fires harden it's skin. Charging at Niminem Ultima in a state of rage comparable to those of giant sponges, Niminem Ultima is momentarily disabled. Using this moment to it's advantage, ‼Gbaneg‼ moves to the side of Niminem Ultima and charges again, almost knocking the fortress over. Noticing the ‼hammerhead whale‼ and ‼hammerhead yak‼ approaching form his left, ‼Gbaneg‼ spins 270° clockwise and transfers all this momentum into a powerful punch that knocks the ‼hammerhead yak‼ off the ‼hammerhead whale‼. Grabbing the ‼hammerhead whale‼, ‼Gbaneg‼ starts turning and rotating, building up momentum to throw the ‼hammerhead whale‼ away. By the time Niminem Ultima and the ‼hammerhead yak‼ were ready for battle again, ‼Gbaneg‼ had built up all the momentum he needed. ‼Gbaneg‼ throws the ‼hammerhead whale‼ aiming for the ‼hammerhead yak‼, resulting in both of the combatants soon finding themselves in what was once an elven forest retreat, now a wreck left behind by the Ollifex. Those two dealt with for now, ‼Gbaneg‼ turns his attention to Niminem Ultima again. This mobile fortress wouldn't be mobile for much longer... nor a fortress.(You might be safe if you hide in one of the biohazardous waste barrels... a nice clean one you know... if it can keep the goop in, it can keep it out too.)
We already have Gbaneg, now you want to turn Corai into one of those things too?
Oh, you're trying that! I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this, but I must save the mobile fort that was built in a strange mood!
With the damage of the fort and the death of the master of water, the dragons fire off the "secret" cannon that utilizes a burst of anti-matter and obliterates !!Gbaneg!!! The particles are blasted into sub-space!
BURN!
Oliolli begins frantically figuring out how this can end up in something much worse than what the Olliolifex could have ever been!
Particles... Given that it was an anti-matter cannon we're probably talking sub-atomic ones... "Sub-space"..? Just need some stupid deus ex machina to open up some rifts... How many particles are we talking about? Size of Olliolifex, amount of atoms, amount of particles in question per atom... *punches numbers into calculator* Made a sad-face... Looking good! The Olliolifex hasn't been properly desinged yet, I can put some nasty kink into it. I RESERVE ALL RIGHTS TO DESING THE OLLIOLIFEX! Kekekekeke...
If one makes a grenade from a lemon, should it be called a "lemonade"? If it's incendiary, maybe it should be called the Molotov Lemonade?
The distraction, did it work?
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 12, 2012, 07:31:25 pm
Quote from: Oliolli
‼Gbaneg‼ lets out a mighty roar as the fires harden it's skin. Charging at Niminem Ultima in a state of rage comparable to those of giant sponges, Niminem Ultima is momentarily disabled. Using this moment to it's advantage, ‼Gbaneg‼ moves to the side of Niminem Ultima and charges again, almost knocking the fortress over. Noticing the ‼hammerhead whale‼ and ‼hammerhead yak‼ approaching form his left, ‼Gbaneg‼ spins 270° clockwise and transfers all this momentum into a powerful punch that knocks the ‼hammerhead yak‼ off the ‼hammerhead whale‼. Grabbing the ‼hammerhead whale‼, ‼Gbaneg‼ starts turning and rotating, building up momentum to throw the ‼hammerhead whale‼ away. By the time Niminem Ultima and the ‼hammerhead yak‼ were ready for battle again, ‼Gbaneg‼ had built up all the momentum he needed. ‼Gbaneg‼ throws the ‼hammerhead whale‼ aiming for the ‼hammerhead yak‼, resulting in both of the combatants soon finding themselves in what was once an elven forest retreat, now a wreck left behind by the Ollifex. Those two dealt with for now, ‼Gbaneg‼ turns his attention to Niminem Ultima again. This mobile fortress wouldn't be mobile for much longer... nor a fortress.(You might be safe if you hide in one of the biohazardous waste barrels... a nice clean one you know... if it can keep the goop in, it can keep it out too.)
We already have Gbaneg, now you want to turn Corai into one of those things too?
Oh, you're trying that! I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this, but I must save the mobile fort that was built in a strange mood!
With the damage of the fort and the death of the master of water, the dragons fire off the "secret" cannon that utilizes a burst of anti-matter and obliterates !!Gbaneg!!! The particles are blasted into sub-space!
BURN!
Oliolli begins frantically figuring out how this can end up in something much worse than what the Olliolifex could have ever been!
Particles... Given that it was an anti-matter cannon we're probably talking sub-atomic ones... "Sub-space"..? Just need some stupid deus ex machina to open up some rifts... How many particles are we talking about? Size of Olliolifex, amount of atoms, amount of particles in question per atom... *punches numbers into calculator* Made a sad-face... Looking good! The Olliolifex hasn't been properly desinged yet, I can put some nasty kink into it. I RESERVE ALL RIGHTS TO DESING THE OLLIOLIFEX! Kekekekeke...
If one makes a grenade from a lemon, should it be called a "lemonade"? If it's incendiary, maybe it should be called the Molotov Lemonade?
The distraction, did it work?
You mean designing instead of desing and desinged, right?
Post by: Corai on May 12, 2012, 07:39:51 pm
I mean, really. Half of these should had blown up and killed us by now knowing DF.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 12, 2012, 07:46:11 pm
HOW DO WE MAKE THESE DOOMS-DAY DEVICES?
I mean, really. Half of these should had blown up and killed us by now knowing DF.
Two theories:
1) Strange Moods (ex. Niminem Ultima)
2) Weird Joykill (ex. Napalm, poisons, Nitro)
Post by: Corai on May 12, 2012, 07:48:32 pm
Post by: wierd on May 12, 2012, 07:52:40 pm
*kick*
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 12, 2012, 07:54:33 pm
Well, I am going to hide, cause these things are gonna blow up soon.
Carp...
Some idiot in the mobile fort fired off a secondary cannon and has cooked off the nitro.
A dragon has been killed!
Death was too good for him.
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 12, 2012, 08:40:58 pm
Post by: Corai on May 12, 2012, 08:44:10 pm
Hehehe, loopholes.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 12, 2012, 08:49:22 pm
Hey Zanz, how do you drive dragon populations to extinction?
Well, there are thousands that range from the size of a hummingbird to the size of (basically) a mountain, so your goal is impossible to obtain.
Oh, I need more dwarven blood, this time I'll use a kobold-sized silver hammer.
Hehehe, loopholes.
Hammers only bruise...
Post by: WillowLuman on May 12, 2012, 08:56:24 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 12, 2012, 08:58:42 pm
1. Hummingbirds are vermin.Hey Zanz, how do you drive dragon populations to extinction?Well, there are thousands that range from the size of a hummingbird to the size of (basically) a mountain, so your goal is impossible to obtain.Oh, I need more dwarven blood, this time I'll use a kobold-sized silver hammer.Hammers only bruise...
Hehehe, loopholes.
Cats kill vermin.
Dwarves fish vermin. Known for driving species to extinction.
It's child's play driving a species to extinction, and impossible... That sounds like a challenge... I like challenges.
2. HAMMERTIME!
No seriously, hammers do a *tad* bit more than bruising. He he.
Post by: Corai on May 12, 2012, 09:01:28 pm
Hey Zanz, how do you drive dragon populations to extinction?
Well, there are thousands that range from the size of a hummingbird to the size of (basically) a mountain, so your goal is impossible to obtain.Oh, I need more dwarven blood, this time I'll use a kobold-sized silver hammer.
Hehehe, loopholes.
Hammers only bruise...
The kobold turns, and speaks the words "I know." with a devilish smile.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 12, 2012, 09:15:07 pm
Don't forget about the mountain-sized ones!
Post by: Orky_Boss on May 12, 2012, 09:17:54 pm
"Cinderella Dwarf"- Pro Boxer
Legendary Wrestler
Legendary Striker
Legendary Kicker
Legendary Fighter
Proffesional Dodger
Competent Teacher
Dabbling Armor User
Attributes:
Absolutely Inexhaustible
Mighty
Basically unbreakable
Very Agile
Kills:
2 Dwarf Boxers in The Arena
Notable Kills:
Legendary Kobold Wrestler in The Arena
Win/Loss Rate in the Boxing Ring:
20/0/0
OOC: Due what you will with him. EXCEPT FOR CORAI SINCE HE/SHE/IT/ ISN'T A DWARF!
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 12, 2012, 09:18:57 pm
Don't forget about the mountain-sized ones!
Does this booze smell like Oliolliitis to you?
Post by: Corai on May 12, 2012, 09:19:30 pm
.....What? I wanted to try a beard on. Plays with fake-beard.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 12, 2012, 10:15:29 pm
Don't forget about the mountain-sized ones!
Does this booze smell like Oliolliitis to you?
Dragons don't drink booze and are immune to all diseases that are existing, will exist, or, have existed!
Post by: Corai on May 12, 2012, 10:32:13 pm
Post by: Oliolli on May 13, 2012, 12:54:10 am
You mean designing instead of desing and desinged, right?
...dammit...
Don't forget about the mountain-sized ones!
Does this booze smell like Oliolliitis to you?
...the one time you actually write "Oliolli" in the correct form, it's supposed to be "Ollioli"... >.<
Just check the raws you wrote up earlier.
Your dragons are OP brotha, kills off all !!FUN!! that is to be had. You NEED something that can wipe these things out.
+1
There's a reason I turned a kobold into the Olliolifex. There's a reason I was planning on tearing the mobile fort down. There's a reason I now have to design some insanely overpowered failsafe into the Olliolifex. Heck, maybe I'll just have to have another kobold guff down a barrel of Ollioliitis. It's just ridiculous how the dragons destroy anything and everything we run into. We are Bay 12. We need the Fun.
The Ollifex-failsafe not firing is to be blamed on HugoLuman, of course.
Post by: Corai on May 13, 2012, 12:56:29 am
In a unrelated note, I googled cutebold. NEVER UNSEE, NEVER UNSEE!
Post by: Oliolli on May 13, 2012, 01:25:28 am
Post by: Eric Blank on May 13, 2012, 01:28:48 am
Post by: WillowLuman on May 13, 2012, 02:36:09 am
Post by: Reudh on May 13, 2012, 02:38:08 am
Post by: Oliolli on May 13, 2012, 02:58:21 am
An unfortunately timed meteorite obliterates the mobile dragon fortress!
Rocks fall, everyone dies. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RocksFallEveryoneDies)
Post by: wierd on May 13, 2012, 07:04:13 am
See, a meteorite can be the size of a marble when it hits ground....
Or the size of a large tank.
How big of a horrible flaming space rock are we talking here? Also, is it iron-core meteorite, or sillicate meteorite?
See, I am thinking iron core, and about the size of a basketball.
Not big enough to "kill us all", but definately enough to require roofing contractors after it lands on the fortress's roof.
"Large tank size" is overkill. That would result in an epically huge crater, like "meteor crater". The biggest I would suggest is "square bale of hay size", which would be enough to split a mountain open. (The meteorite that created meteor crater was approximately 50 meters across at impact, and had an equivilent explosion of 10 megatons of TNT. That why I suggest a 2.5 meter across meteorite, which should be roughly equivalent to 500,000 tons ot TNT, as the upper limit you ascribe to the size.)
Regardless, the shockwave from it hitting the ground will set off the nitro in my explosives and flamable materials shack on the surface, so I'm not too thrilled.
Still, the overkill characters need weaknesses.
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 13, 2012, 07:05:42 am
Don't forget about the mountain-sized ones!
Does this booze smell like Oliolliitis to you?
Dragons don't drink booze and are immune to all diseases that are existing, will exist, or, have existed!
Who said I would use it on the dragons? >:]
Post by: Orky_Boss on May 13, 2012, 07:38:06 am
Post by: Oliolli on May 13, 2012, 07:55:50 am
Regardless, the shockwave from it hitting the ground will set off the nitro in my explosives and flamable materials shack on the surface, so I'm not too thrilled.
Probably too close if we want to make sure that fortress is properly cracked open...
Post by: WillowLuman on May 13, 2012, 12:16:32 pm
Some of the shrapnel probably hit Gbaneg, though most likely it only resulted in a cool scar across one of his eyes.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 13, 2012, 12:35:13 pm
Well... that depends.
See, a meteorite can be the size of a marble when it hits ground....
Or the size of a large tank.
How big of a horrible flaming space rock are we talking here? Also, is it iron-core meteorite, or sillicate meteorite?
See, I am thinking iron core, and about the size of a basketball.
Not big enough to "kill us all", but definately enough to require roofing contractors after it lands on the fortress's roof.
"Large tank size" is overkill. That would result in an epically huge crater, like "meteor crater". The biggest I would suggest is "square bale of hay size", which would be enough to split a mountain open. (The meteorite that created meteor crater was approximately 50 meters across at impact, and had an equivilent explosion of 10 megatons of TNT. That why I suggest a 2.5 meter across meteorite, which should be roughly equivalent to 500,000 tons ot TNT, as the upper limit you ascribe to the size.)
Regardless, the shockwave from it hitting the ground will set off the nitro in my explosives and flamable materials shack on the surface, so I'm not too thrilled.
Still, the overkill characters need weaknesses.
Your explosives were already hit by magma.
They do have a weakness, it is just...
A slayer siege has come!
CARP! THEY'VE COME! AND THE ENTIRE SIEGE HAS DRAGONBANE WEAPONS!!!!!!!!!!
NOTE: Dragonbane has a 50:1 multiplier on dragons, and the strength of steel against all other species!
Most of the force went into the Dragon Mobile Fortress, which was destroyed but had enough armor and defenses that it absorbed most of the energy. If we can find the iron core, it probably fused into some cool new metal, having melted together with dragon blood.
Some of the shrapnel probably hit Gbaneg, though most likely it only resulted in a cool scar across one of his eyes.
Gbaneg was destroyed in an anti-matter blast.
That metal is dragonbane, and it brought the Slayers!
Regardless, the shockwave from it hitting the ground will set off the nitro in my explosives and flamable materials shack on the surface, so I'm not too thrilled.Doesn't that depend on how far from our fortress the impact is?
Probably too close if we want to make sure that fortress is properly cracked open...
It cracked the central power system, which destroyed the thing in the same way it destroyed Gbaneg, and the blast the meteor caused killed two hundred dragons!
Post by: wierd on May 13, 2012, 01:22:23 pm
Due to the risk of horrible explosion, and the quite real possibility it would have to be rebuilt later, it is made from cheap wood instead of fancy dwarven stone masonry. This minimizes the danger the structure poses if it accidentally (on purpose.. I'm looking at you corai...) explodes.
The research lab, where I dabble in safer forms of chemistry, like poisons and the like, is inside the fortress, but has an emergency magma purge system in case an experiment goes out of control. It is intended to protect the fortress at the lab's expense. That system was recenty triggered when an animated adamantine fiber bag began a rampage in there. Being inorganic, and resistant to all acids, bases, and forms of chemical attack, the only available option to prevent a total disaster was to initiate the purge, which then seals the lab with obsidian by dumping water on top of the magma.
So far the pyrotechnician's shack has been largely ignored by the recent "confusion", the risk of being blown up just by going inside being quite high has been sufficient to keep corai and his kobold lackeys out so far... however, the tremors and over-pressure shockwave of the recent meteor impact would have been sufficient to detonate the latest batch of nitro brewing in there.
So, "somewhere on the hillside, sequestered deep in the woods, another fireball shoots up into the sky in a rain of wooden confetti"
Post by: WillowLuman on May 13, 2012, 02:02:13 pm
Yoh-de-le-hi-yoldeleh-hi-hoo
When one day it up and went KABOOM♫
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQEhMbKJJko
Post by: Oliolli on May 13, 2012, 02:10:02 pm
Post by: Corai on May 13, 2012, 02:11:41 pm
Post by: Angel-of-Dusk on May 13, 2012, 02:13:32 pm
Something tells me this is why people migrate from the mountain home to begin with.
I dig a 20x20 area, muddy it with buckets, and lock my self in.
YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, YOU CANT HAVE MY BONES TO MAKE YOUR TOOLS WITH OR TO DIG YOUR MAGMA TUNNELS
-holds tightly onto his pickaxe and pets it whispering obscentities-
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 13, 2012, 02:15:17 pm
Hey Angel, can I store my jars there?
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 13, 2012, 02:16:44 pm
The name slayers is short for dragonslayers. They were once renowned for their abilities of killing dragons. The main dragon civilization did not mind too much, due to the slain being exiles. That is, until one of the slayers killed a non-exiled dragon. Long story short, there was a massive and bloody war between the humans and the dragons that ended with the slayers being exiled and the situation as it is today.
Post by: Corai on May 13, 2012, 02:17:47 pm
Quick, someone get me a phone. I need to make a call. And a Slayer Phonebook.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 13, 2012, 02:22:21 pm
So, the Slayers are the only living thing that can even scratch a dragon?
Quick, someone get me a phone. I need to make a call. And a Slayer Phonebook.
You discover another page!
Due to the exile from their civilization, the slayers became hostile to every known and unknown species upon the planet.
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 13, 2012, 02:22:58 pm
Just for your information
The name slayers is short for dragonslayers. They were once renowned for their abilities of killing dragons. The main dragon civilization did not mind too much, due to the slain being exiles. That is, until one of the slayers killed a non-exiled dragon. Long story short, there was a massive and bloody war between the humans and the dragons that ended with the slayers being exiled and the situation as it is today.
BAHBHHBHBHBHBHBBHBHBHBHBHHHHAAA
Silly hoomans. Should've just got an adventurer.
Or a Dorf.
Post by: Corai on May 13, 2012, 02:23:47 pm
Corai crawls into the ventilation shafts with a bag of unknown devices.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 13, 2012, 02:25:27 pm
Just for your information
The name slayers is short for dragonslayers. They were once renowned for their abilities of killing dragons. The main dragon civilization did not mind too much, due to the slain being exiles. That is, until one of the slayers killed a non-exiled dragon. Long story short, there was a massive and bloody war between the humans and the dragons that ended with the slayers being exiled and the situation as it is today.
BAHBHHBHBHBHBHBBHBHBHBHBHHHHAAA
Silly hoomans. Should've just got an adventurer.
Or a Dorf.
It was a guild of adventurers actually.
God damnit. Back to working on setting up toxin-gas bombs in the ventilation shafts.....
Corai crawls into the ventilation shafts with a bag of unknown devices.
Wouldn't disease immune work on toxin-gas bombs as well?
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 13, 2012, 02:31:56 pm
Incentive servitude > Dragons
Post by: Corai on May 13, 2012, 02:33:27 pm
Accept dwarves.
Post by: wierd on May 13, 2012, 02:35:58 pm
So, you snagged my hydrocyanic acid bugbombs I cooked up earlier?
Silly kobold. That can be blocked with a charcoal filter with some baking soda as a prestage.
*collects a few from the hazardous materials handling cabinet. Passed them out.*
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 13, 2012, 02:37:01 pm
Everyone knows adventurers rely on the vainglorious fame provided by the peasantry.
Incentive servitude > Dragons
Incentive servitude with adamantine armor and weapons < Dragons with firebrand armor
Post by: Corai on May 13, 2012, 02:38:21 pm
A loud bang is heard moments later in the vents, and a irritated voice screams "THESE ARE UNSTABLE!"
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 13, 2012, 02:40:37 pm
Three kobolds fall over.
A loud bang is heard moments later in the vents, and a irritated voice screams "THESE ARE UNSTABLE!"
You realize that the merchants have already left, and all of the others were killed with Numidium Ultima. I am currently speaking to you through an unmovable, unbreakable crystal within the main dining hall.
Post by: Oliolli on May 13, 2012, 02:42:55 pm
Corai, who is standing nearby, smiles at the sheer epicness of Oiliolli's storytelling skills.
Corai crawls out of the ducts to get another bag, but his work is cut short as the door to Oliolli's room is suddenly launched off it's hinges, crashing through the door on the opposite side of the hallway, waking up Fen, who had been sleeping there, as Oliolli charges out of his room and towards Corai. Grabbing the kobold by the neck, he screams "OLIOLLI! IT... IS... OLIOLLI! NOT HARD TO SPELL!" Corai is not afraid, however, knowing about his own immortality. Oliolli knows of this too, but snaps Corai's weak neck with his bare hands despite it. Calming down considerably after this, he throws the kobold's corpse to wierd, shouting something relating to the extraction of fresh kobold blood form the corpse, and walks back into his room, now mumbling about paper #62 and the filling of another door requisition form. Fen, crawling out of his room simply asks what the hell is going on. Loud Whispers takes another bite out of the cat meat biscuit.
I'm afraid about what will happen during the next eight hours, which I'll be sleeping through. Try not to advance more than a dozen pages, 'kay?
Post by: Corai on May 13, 2012, 02:44:15 pm
---
A kobold migrant has arrived!
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 13, 2012, 02:48:56 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on May 13, 2012, 02:51:52 pm
I'ma drop the roof on it now, kay?
Post by: Corai on May 13, 2012, 02:53:51 pm
....
.....
DAMN!
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 13, 2012, 02:56:27 pm
That's the false dining hall, to confuse invaders.
I'ma drop the roof on it now, kay?
It's in the real one, not the fake one.
Post by: Eric Blank on May 13, 2012, 03:14:21 pm
A section of the cavern has collapsed!
Post by: Corai on May 13, 2012, 03:16:05 pm
....A METAL DOOR? REALLY?
The kobold pulls out another lockpick, not noticing a Slayer is directly behind. Your turn Zanzetkuken.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 13, 2012, 08:02:04 pm
The slayer opens the main gate!
The entire siege rushes in, bypassing all traps with no casualties!
If you hadn't buried the crystal, I could've sent some help! You brought this on yourselves!
Post by: WillowLuman on May 13, 2012, 10:27:04 pm
Seconds after the scream echoes through the fortress, a rift opens for one second in Weird Joykill's main lab, then closes. A perfectly spherical metal object has appeared in the lab.
A dwarf is found bleeding to death with his skin melted off in the lowest vaults of the fortress, screaming something about a great, viscous fluid of darkness with eyes. Another Dwarf is found dead nearby with the word "GOZER" written on the wall in his own blood.
Post by: Oliolli on May 13, 2012, 11:04:05 pm
--
The slayers were heavy to drag, but Oliolli knew he would need several living ones for this experiment. The former site of wierd's nitro-lab was quite close by now anyway. As one of them started mumbling and moving, Oliolli stopped for a moment, kicked the slayer in the head (not hard enough to kill) and went on dragging the group of slayers.
Post by: Corai on May 13, 2012, 11:11:56 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 12:34:00 am
This is a temporal-dimensional engine. All craftsmanship is of the highest quality. A great room composed of magma, mechanisms and unidentified metals. It has sinister tubes and cables and undulates rhythmically. On the walls are images of horrible things from various stories, KodKod, and kittens. The kittens are laughing. The horrible things are making plaintive gestures. This relates to the darkest hour of the Twelfth Bay. At the controls is Gizogzin's MK II clockwork body. It is possessed by some kind of mad influence, screaming about obeying the will of kittens and pulling levers.
Corai stealthily pulled his face out of the cage trap and backed away. Despite past events, he felt he should tell someone about this.
Post by: kisame12794 on May 14, 2012, 09:06:33 am
"Nope. Fuck this. See ya!"
Post by: wierd on May 14, 2012, 12:58:27 pm
Red-faced and sour tempered, the mad scientist trudges toward his lair of dark, evil science, face-punching a few slayers on the way who were stupid enough to try stopping him. Little bits of blood spatter and broken teeth on the hallway floor being the only lasting evidence.
Sealing the steel and adamantine belted blast doors behind him, he sets to work...
Hastily, he gathers several odd looking glass jars of mysterious liquids and powders, a novelty large glass pot with sun glass fiber reinforcement, and several lengths of laboratory grade condensation tube.
20 minutes of work later, a twisted version of a backpack, with gas ejection nozzels, a flame throwe attachment, pullcords to dispense reagents into the glass reaction vessel, and a full body hazard suit with curious ceramic ablative armor covered in glass fiber cloth lies on the work table.
Somewhat resembling a blatantly plagarized "big daddy" outfit, the armored mobile geneva violation was finally ready for use.
Slipping the last of the o-ring sealed heavy PVC coated fiber gloves into place and fastening the coupling, a loud bang erupts from the vents.
He had nearly forgotten about shutting all the access ports with vent keys earlier, except for the one above the vent hood there in the lab. Cursing himself for directing the vermin straight here, he readies the corrosive nitroxide and white phosphorus flash flame port attachment, as a specific kobold in a business suit falls out of the overhead vent, crashes into the ringstand (just barely avoiding being skewered by it), and banging its head on the hard obsidian work surface before spilling down to the floor in a daze.
Red anger burned in the scientist's eyes, as heavy bruises and searing hot laceration wounds throbbed back into cognition; painful reminders of the antics of this paricular vermin.
"10 seconds to explain yourself, before I make you into extra crispy kobold." He intoned, cold, flat, and totally devoid of emotion. "Even twitch for a dagger, and I'll light you up like like guy fawkes. Now talk."
Post by: Corai on May 14, 2012, 01:32:33 pm
The kobold grabs Weird Joykill, drags him through the air vents with a odd strengh, and breaking the vents with his head, shows Weird Joykill the room.
"WHAT THE HECK IS THIS!"
Post by: Oliolli on May 14, 2012, 01:44:35 pm
...and using the set-up I explained above I should be able to defuse the dark magics bound into the particles that once composed the Olliolifex. I know that if I'm wrong and this doesn't work, bad things will happen. I'm not sure what exactly, but it will be bad.
As the scientific method demands, I will conduct multiple instances of the experiment. Thus I have five slayers in five set-ups.
Oliolli closed the tome and turned to the slayers. The set-up looked nasty, but was necessary. Mentally revising his calculations, he suddenly realised he was not sure if he had remembered to carry a two. Whatever. The set-up is complete, I might as well try it, right? he thought, grabbed a lever, yelled "FOR SCIENCE!" and pulled the lever.
The fortress' statue hall was magnificent. One wall was an exterior wall to the fortress and was covered in some of the finest engravings in the fortress. There were 25 rows of statues in the hall, all of exceptional or better quality. The other wall was also covered in excellent engravings. Eric Blank could've remembered the hall's layout in his dreams, he had made it nearly all by himself after all. Thus, when an odd noise was heard, soon followed by 27 loud crashes coming from the general direction of the statue hall, Eric shed a single tear.
Kasmko O'Jeha was working in his field. This year had been particularly good. All of a sudden, a small, blue ball of light appeared in front of him, quickly gaining a dimension and soon after a second one. The blue, now circle floating in the air was a sight to see, and was growing fast. Upon reaching a size of approximately 12 square meters it's growth stopped. Kasmko slowly approached the blue circle, wondering what it was. As he approached it, a thin black sliver appeared in the middle of it. Kasmko's intrique quickly turned into panic, as a humanoid being three meters tall, wearing armor that looked as if it were made out of living bone emerged from the rift, carrying a large axe. Turning it's burning green eyes to Kasmko, the Spawn of Gbaneg simply said: "YOUR TIME IS UP." Finished with this, it cleaved Kasmko in half. Soon more Spawn emerged from the rift, as well as all the others that had been opening around the continent.
Post by: Gizogin on May 14, 2012, 01:46:45 pm
Severe Machinery was a legendary cat leather-bound book. The written portion consists of a 52 page essay entitled Severe Machinery, authored by Gizogin Akithnil. It concerns the fortress The Twelth Bay. The writing is reasonably serious, but it gets off track from time to time. The book is full of complex schematics and technical drawings.
Wow, I missed some interesting conversations since the last time I checked this thread. I wish I'd been part of the injury discussion; I've been through some pretty rough stuff. I seem to have somehow missed quite a bit of action as well. Presumably, I was holed up in the hospital, experimenting.
Post by: Blizzlord on May 14, 2012, 01:57:46 pm
"Severe Machinery"Gimmie that! I need it to conduct some insane plan which would inevitably fail without it!
Severe Machinery was a legendary cat leather-bound book. The written portion consists of a 52 page essay entitled Severe Machinery, authored by Gizogin Akithnil. It concerns the fortress The Twelth Bay. The writing is reasonably serious, but it gets off track from time to time. The book is full of complex schematics and technical drawings.
*grabs the book and digs deeply into it*
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 14, 2012, 02:08:22 pm
Ollioli
Olioil
Oliloil
Olioli
Olliloli
Olololololi
Ollioli
Oliolli
SUCCESS
Post by: wierd on May 14, 2012, 02:51:32 pm
It was in the middle of what was clearly a standard issue cage trap. The blue paint being a mixture of rocknut oil and ground up dimple dye; a mixture clearly devised by somebody not aquainted with the subtleties between paints and dyes.
At least he used an oil base.
At the surface was a clear photonic disruption, forcing the light deeper into the blue spectrum, and slightly distorting the image.
"WHAT IS THAT THING!?" The annoying little shit demanded.
"Looks like Hugo's work." Joykill muttered. "I heard he was working on something like this.. what the f*^k is it doing in here though..."
Creaking open the door and peering inside, the change in aparent direction of gravity (the box was laying on its 'back', the door facing up.) Caused joykill's head to swoon.
Standing inside shouting nonsense was a 3.5 ft tall clockwork droid, clearly an advanced form of the same android gizogen has in his workshop, as several clear design problems had been corrected, and the movements were smooth and fluid instead of harsh and jerky.
A ghostly image of a white cat lounged lazily on the console, while uttering a stream of equally nonsensical banter.
"...temporal flux reading at 9. Initiating timeline reintegration. Reintegration failure. Temporal fracture index exceeds safe tolerances..."
Seeing the translucet cat playing with translucent yarn while uttering such things was disturbing enough. That the clockwork droid's utterings were more crazed, like hugo on one of his "bad days" was even more bothersome. Especially so, since the synthesized voice was hugo's.
Just then, an idea came to wierd's head. It was the kittens. The kittens had orchestrated this whole thing. That's why the interface hologram was a damned cat.
Standing up, and closing the door, he turned to the kobold.
"Hugo's in there. Sort of. I suggest not actually going inside. I don't think it's completely 'here'."
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? JUST FIX IT!" The squeaky shrill pestilence shrieked. "FIX IT, FIX IT, FIX IT!"
With a groan, joykill punched the side of the vent duct, making a large hole with the pneumatically driven piledriver built into the suit, then chucked the little bastard out through it before jumping out himself.
"WHAT DID YOU GO THAT FOR!?" Demanded the the frothing imp.
"For pulling me by my face through a knothole." Joykill replied. "And this is for earlier today."
With a wide sweeping motion, the kobold was launched at the far wall of what appeared to be the corridor outside the dining hall, skidding across the engraved flooring before hitting the wall.
"Now we deal with Hug's 'condition'." He said, before scooping up the angry kobold by the collar of his business suit.
A large copper dagger suddenly appeared from a concealed jacket pocket, but the suit was built to withstand for worse forms of laceration, and merely clacked impotently against the ceramic plating.
"This way pest. We have to sever the connection the cats have on hugo's mind."
With a kick on the massively ornate stone door, sending them off their hinges, the pair stormed the dining hall, where all the feral kittens and adult cats were gathering and dispersing, each seeking vermin and susceptible minds to attach to within the fortress when not pathing back here to congregate.
"This has to be done carefully." He said, then opened fire.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 14, 2012, 03:56:34 pm
And I have my firebrand armor and weapons made...
And I just had a reeeeaaaaally bad day...
Zanzetkuken the Great has gone beserk, but will recover when he has killed 100 slayers and 200 cats/kittens!
Note: Firebrand is an alloy created by dragons, with divine intervention, and is 1000x stronger than adamantium. It basically makes you invincible. That is why I haven't been in any of the recent conflicts, until now. It was a bad day.
Post by: wierd on May 14, 2012, 04:27:12 pm
Avoid creating "sue" (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GodModeSue).
All characters should be plausible, and not complete fiction. Ceramic and glass are strong materials in some aspects, but highly fragile in others, for example.
"Super unobtanium mark 9000 super divine combat armor that can survive a black hole" is not.
"Sue" is no fun to play with, and is a total killjoy. That's why nobody likes her.
And we now return to our feature in progress.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 14, 2012, 04:30:10 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 14, 2012, 04:31:17 pm
So, catocide and slayers in the fort...
And I have my firebrand armor and weapons made...
And I just had a reeeeaaaaally bad day...
Zanzetkuken the Great has gone beserk, but will recover when he has killed 100 slayers and 200 cats/kittens!
Note: Firebrand is an alloy created by dragons, with divine intervention, and is 1000x stronger than adamantium. It basically makes you invincible. That is why I haven't been in any of the recent conflicts, until now. It was a bad day.
*Sigh*
You forced me to do it.
I warned you dawg.
Call the Kobolds, we have *Ugh* need of their weapons.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 14, 2012, 04:41:18 pm
So, catocide and slayers in the fort...
And I have my firebrand armor and weapons made...
And I just had a reeeeaaaaally bad day...
Zanzetkuken the Great has gone beserk, but will recover when he has killed 100 slayers and 200 cats/kittens!
Note: Firebrand is an alloy created by dragons, with divine intervention, and is 1000x stronger than adamantium. It basically makes you invincible. That is why I haven't been in any of the recent conflicts, until now. It was a bad day.
*Sigh*
You forced me to do it.
I warned you dawg.
Call the Kobolds, we have *Ugh* need of their weapons.
Don't worry, it is more of a martial trance berserk than a full-out, "I am completely insane" berserk. Plus, I have already calmed out of it and went back to the citadel. I just needed to blow some steam off, so I used that post.
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 14, 2012, 04:44:09 pm
:[
Also, adamantium.
lolololololololiolli
Post by: wierd on May 14, 2012, 04:45:56 pm
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 14, 2012, 04:49:25 pm
But I already got the dagger...
:[
Also, adamantium.
lolololololololiolli
Steel+Adamantium+Divine Intervention=Firebrand!
Careful! You might call another ollifex from the aether!
Urist has put duct tape over Loud Whispers mouth!
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 14, 2012, 04:50:59 pm
You cannot silence the truth!
Adamantium
Oliolllololololooloo
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 14, 2012, 04:54:49 pm
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 14, 2012, 04:58:10 pm
summon them.Ftfy
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 14, 2012, 05:03:05 pm
summon them.Ftfy
Still not going to!
Wait a sec...
Kasmko O'Jeha was working in his field. This year had been particularly good. All of a sudden, a small, blue ball of light appeared in front of him, quickly gaining a dimension and soon after a second one. The blue, now circle floating in the air was a sight to see, and was growing fast. Upon reaching a size of approximately 12 square meters it's growth stopped. Kasmko slowly approached the blue circle, wondering what it was. As he approached it, a thin black sliver appeared in the middle of it. Kasmko's intrique quickly turned into panic, as a humanoid being three meters tall, wearing armor that looked as if it were made out of living bone emerged from the rift, carrying a large axe. Turning it's burning green eyes to Kasmko, the Spawn of Gbaneg simply said: "YOUR TIME IS UP." Finished with this, it cleaved Kasmko in half. Soon more Spawn emerged from the rift, as well as all the others that had been opening around the continent.
Ollifex and Gbaneg are Eldrazi!
Edit: how will the Twelfth Bay react to an update?
Post by: Eric Blank on May 14, 2012, 05:26:00 pm
Author's note:
Avoid creating "sue" (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GodModeSue).
All characters should be plausible, and not complete fiction. Ceramic and glass are strong materials in some aspects, but highly fragile in others, for example.
"Super unobtanium mark 9000 super divine combat armor that can survive a black hole" is not.
"Sue" is no fun to play with, and is a total killjoy. That's why nobody likes her. (even though everybody wants to fuck her silly)
And we now return to our feature in progress.
This. Exactly this. I have it in the right mind to drop an entire z-level of natural stone on those bloody dragons' childish little heads, citing the fact that a large-scale cave-in solves even those problems that magma cannot. There's a reason I design fortresses with several stories ceiling space between functional sections of fortress nowadays. Never know what you'll want to stuff in between on short notice. It also prevents one cave-in on a given level from taking half the fortress with it...
My current 34.07 fortress on the other hand has a 3-story tall main hallway with an aquifer directly overhead. Kinda the same function, if less effective.
Post by: Gizogin on May 14, 2012, 05:39:36 pm
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 14, 2012, 05:45:07 pm
Author's note:
Avoid creating "sue" (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GodModeSue).
All characters should be plausible, and not complete fiction. Ceramic and glass are strong materials in some aspects, but highly fragile in others, for example.
"Super unobtanium mark 9000 super divine combat armor that can survive a black hole" is not.
"Sue" is no fun to play with, and is a total killjoy. That's why nobody likes her. (even though everybody wants to fuck her silly)
And we now return to our feature in progress.
This. Exactly this. I have it in the right mind to drop an entire z-level of natural stone on those bloody dragons' childish little heads, citing the fact that a large-scale cave-in solves even those problems that magma cannot. There's a reason I design fortresses with several stories ceiling space between functional sections of fortress nowadays. Never know what you'll want to stuff in between on short notice. It also prevents one cave-in on a given level from taking half the fortress with it...
My current 34.07 fortress on the other hand has a 3-story tall main hallway with an aquifer directly overhead. Kinda the same function, if less effective.
Don't worry, the master of fire won't listen to me like the others, so I won't be sending the dragons anymore, unless it is in trade caravans.
(their strength is due to an obsession with the epic-ness of dragons that I have, I apologize.)
Post by: wierd on May 14, 2012, 06:42:54 pm
Mythology in europe is replete with the theme of the brave knights slaying the killer dragon.
For instance, your typical dragon is the size of a dinosaur, more or less. This means thick, heavy bones, large, slow-twitch muscles, and a very massive energy intake requirment.
Add to that the synthesis of reactive exhalation compounds, and mythically "melts gold hot" body temperatures, and you have a creature who's metabolism is running rampant, and is literally on the edge of spontaneous combustion.
(I forget where I read it, but dragons supposedly hoarde gold because it melts when they sleep on it, and gets slushy, making it super soft and comfy. Its rarity amd materialistic value are unimportant to the dragon.)
A dragon, therefore, would spend most of its time eating, and replenishing water that it exhales to stabilize body temperatures. Wings most likely serve more as a wide surface area to expell waste hat than for actual flight. (To fly, the dragon's wings would have to be hundreds of feet across, and the bones in them would have to be stronger than our best titanium steels. Remember, these wings flap. That means flexing stresses, momentary stress yeilds, and tortional stresses not found on fixed wing flying objects, like aircraft. I work in avionics. A dragon couldn't fly, even if their entire skeleton was made of pure titanium and carbon nanowire.)
You can clearly see where I am going with this. Dragons are bad asses, but their very strengths introduce weaknesses. Getting a dragon to ingest high temperature cataysts would result in them exploding spectacularaly, for instance. Metallic sodium suspended in mineral oil would work nicely in this regard.
Also, subjecting them to sustained high temperatures, like a magmaflow, would saturate their tissues in heat, resulting in very rapid onset heat prostration, and death.
Dragons are therefor, not "sue" when thought about logically. They only become sue when "because magic!" Gets thrown in. because "because magic!" Does this for just about anything where magic is not sufficiently limited, "magic" becomes an aspect of world ending proportion very quickly, and is highly discouraged. If magic exists, then it has to exist in a fashion compatible with obervable reality, which means fundemental limitations. (Otherwise your magical armor that can withistand all impacts by using the energy used to break it to reinforce the armor can faceplant into the schwatrzchild limit, and becomes a black hole once you push enough energy on it. This is due to the infamous e=mc^2 of relativity. The energy your armor absorbed is equivilent to mass, and after a certain density threshold, breaches the shwartzchild radius, and the armor implodes. Its worse than that though, because to hold back its own implosion, it draws more magic to keep it at bay, so it ends up not just being a black hole, but one that destroys all of the reality it inhabits as an infinite flow of energy is exerted, and adds to the hole's mass potential. Basically, indestructale magic armor is a timebomb, of world ending proportions, if you make magic limitless.)
Basically, what I am getting at is that invincible "anythings" are fundementally incompatible with observed reality, even in the broken over-unity, second-law-less physics of the DF universe.
The absurd materials already present in the DF universe are already close to world ending as-is. Slade is particularly diabolical in that respect.
When it comes to writing fiction, you have to create a very delicate balance between "sufficiently larger than life as to be interesting to the reader", and "so blatantly over the top that disbelief cannot be suspended."
This is especially hard with an audience like the people on this forum, some of whom probably know what a "schwartzchild radius" already is without using wikipedia, and as such are much harder to get to believe in your fantasy sufficiently to find enjoyment.
Basically, sticking with real materials and just being clever is safer than inventing unobtanium and making it work. Magic has to be limited, or else the logical consequences are a universe that in no way resembles the one the reader is from, making it too alien to believe.
I am gonna get off the soapbox and end the meta-commentary now, but I don't have a problem with intelligent dragons that can squash people like bugs. What I have a problem with is inventing new impossible materials as a deus ex machina, and creating dragons that don't have weaknesses of any kind.
Those are unforgivable sins, which make the roleplay game not fun to play anymore.
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 14, 2012, 06:49:56 pm
spectacularaly
This word, it is glorious.
Post by: wierd on May 14, 2012, 06:52:01 pm
I realize that the grammar nazi creed requires you to point it out, and I can understand that, but let's just move on with our lives now, ok? :D
(Besides, you missed "withistand", which is much more hysterical.)
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 14, 2012, 06:53:29 pm
It is... Spectacularaly beautiful.
My Grandchildren shall know of this word, AND IT WILL BE SPECTACULARIOUS
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 14, 2012, 07:01:27 pm
Mythical dragons are not invincible, all knowing, or all powerful. While considerably stronger than humans to the point where a dragon is to human, as human is to ant, a colony of ants can easily kill a human en-mass.
Mythology in europe is replete with the theme of the brave knights slaying the killer dragon.
For instance, your typical dragon is the size of a dinosaur, more or less. This means thick, heavy bones, large, slow-twitch muscles, and a very massive energy intake requirment.
Add to that the synthesis of reactive exhalation compounds, and mythically "melts gold hot" body temperatures, and you have a creature who's metabolism is running rampant, and is literally on the edge of spontaneous combustion.
(I forget where I read it, but dragons supposedly hoarde gold because it melts when they sleep on it, and gets slushy, making it super soft and comfy. Its rarity amd materialistic value are unimportant to the dragon.)
A dragon, therefore, would spend most of its time eating, and replenishing water that it exhales to stabilize body temperatures. Wings most likely serve more as a wide surface area to expell waste hat than for actual flight. (To fly, the dragon's wings would have to be hundreds of feet across, and the bones in them would have to be stronger than our best titanium steels. Remember, these wings flap. That means flexing stresses, momentary stress yeilds, and tortional stresses not found on fixed wing flying objects, like aircraft. I work in avionics. A dragon couldn't fly, even if their entire skeleton was made of pure titanium and carbon nanowire.)
You can clearly see where I am going with this. Dragons are bad asses, but their very strengths introduce weaknesses. Getting a dragon to ingest high temperature cataysts would result in them exploding spectacularaly, for instance. Metallic sodium suspended in mineral oil would work nicely in this regard.
Also, subjecting them to sustained high temperatures, like a magmaflow, would saturate their tissues in heat, resulting in very rapid onset heat prostration, and death.
Dragons are therefor, not "sue" when thought about logically. They only become sue when "because magic!" Gets thrown in. because "because magic!" Does this for just about anything where magic is not sufficiently limited, "magic" becomes an aspect of world ending proportion very quickly, and is highly discouraged. If magic exists, then it has to exist in a fashion compatible with obervable reality, which means fundemental limitations. (Otherwise your magical armor that can withistand all impacts by using the energy used to break it to reinforce the armor can faceplant into the schwatrzchild limit, and becomes a black hole once you push enough energy on it. This is due to the infamous e=mc^2 of relativity. The energy your armor absorbed is equivilent to mass, and after a certain density threshold, breaches the shwartzchild radius, and the armor implodes. Its worse than that though, because to hold back its own implosion, it draws more magic to keep it at bay, so it ends up not just being a black hole, but one that destroys all of the reality it inhabits as an infinite flow of energy is exerted, and adds to the hole's mass potential. Basically, indestructale magic armor is a timebomb, of world ending proportions, if you make magic limitless.)
Basically, what I am getting at is that invincible "anythings" are fundementally incompatible with observed reality, even in the broken over-unity, second-law-less physics of the DF universe.
The absurd materials already present in the DF universe are already close to world ending as-is. Slade is particularly diabolical in that respect.
When it comes to writing fiction, you have to create a very delicate balance between "sufficiently larger than life as to be interesting to the reader", and "so blatantly over the top that disbelief cannot be suspended."
This is especially hard with an audience like the people on this forum, some of whom probably know what a "schwartzchild radius" already is without using wikipedia, and as such are much harder to get to believe in your fantasy sufficiently to find enjoyment.
Basically, sticking with real materials and just being clever is safer than inventing unobtanium and making it work. Magic has to be limited, or else the logical consequences are a universe that in no way resembles the one the reader is from, making it too alien to believe.
I am gonna get off the soapbox and end the meta-commentary now, but I don't have a problem with intelligent dragons that can squash people like bugs. What I have a problem with is inventing new impossible materials as a deus ex machina, and creating dragons that don't have weaknesses of any kind.
Those are unforgivable sins, which make the roleplay game not fun to play anymore.
Why do you think the Master of Fire will not send out any armies? That is his line of thinking, so thanks for the insight.
Edit: I prefer to think of dragons as the east does, not how the west does.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 07:03:47 pm
"I'LL BRING THIS WORLD CRASHING DOWN ON THEIR EARS!" It screamed, pulling levers maniacally with a laughter fell and terrible. The floating sphere in Weird's lab, which he had failed to notice in his intense focus with working on a battle-suit, began to open. Out of it levitated four creatures, looking vaguely like salt shakers with bumps. "BEGIN GENETIC RECALIBRATION!!!" Screamed the clockwork fiend.
The metallic salt-shaker creatures began hastily mixing solutions and filling glass tanks in the lab with them. Sealing the blast door, they had commandeered the lab now and began to dip kittens in the glass tanks. The kittens began to mutate, turning into unsightly and unspeakably grotesque tentacled creatures. With a loud bang a cage trap appeared in the lab, and more six-foot salt-shaker like shells began pouring from the small space. The creatures began placing the mutating kittens inside the shells, activating them and barking orders in harsh mechanical voices.
The clockwork HugoLuman pulled another lever. Miles away, a dark chariot materialized in front of the Spawn of Gbaneg, and a beacon appeared in the sky to guide their way to the Twelfth Bay.
"NOW TO KILL MY OTHER SELF!" It shut off the rotor, causing the arcing electricity to stop in the magma pillars around the chamber, and with the dimensional position stabilized it began planning for the immediate chaos. "THUS SHALL THE ARMIES OF GREED AND INDUSTRY MEET THE ARMIES OF DEATH AND CHAOS!" It reached over and began stroking the translucent cat.
Oliolli was concerned, his instruments detecting a temporal tendril extending towards his location, but then determined that the fields produced by his experiments would stop anything from directly materializing near the building. He could not be interrupted. Soon everything would happen.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 14, 2012, 07:15:26 pm
Note: There are some dwarves living in the citadel. Not many, but there are some.
Note2: The humming dragons are the size of butterflies at their (the dragon's) maximum size.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 07:26:11 pm
At the pan-dimensional dragon citadel, numerous huge entities appeared. Huge, oil-slick like masses of dark corrosive substance, with ameboeic eyes and mouthparts floating to the surface occasionally. A portal appeared and a large platoon of the creatures from Weird's stolen lab went through to join the Shoggoths. "ENJOY!" It pulled more levers. This dimension was now cut off from further outside intervention, though maintaining the bubble would require 100% of the Temporal Engine's runtime. Oh well. No more reinforcements from the void would be required. Already many useful abominations were on this plane.
Weird came around the hallway corner and stopped. He saw what looked like slayers fighting something, but he couldn't see it quite clearly. Then there was a loud bang, and through the gap in the slayer's ranks he saw a handful of blocky, green, mottled creatures with empty, sagging faces and four stubby legs. "What." (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FlatWhat)
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 14, 2012, 07:43:00 pm
The clockwork HugoLuman loosed a laugh, fell and terrible. The first interdimensional dwarven shock trooper was atomized by temporal shielding, and the other lay at the clockwork feet with his eye sockets melted. The image of a manamaid faded from the console screen. "So, they want to interfere with the GLORIOUS CHAOS! Well, SO BE IT!" It pulled a lever.
At the pan-dimensional dragon citadel, numerous huge entities appeared. Huge, oil-slick like masses of dark corrosive substance, with ameboeic eyes and mouthparts floating to the surface occasionally. A portal appeared and a large platoon of the creatures from Weird's stolen lab went through to join the Shoggoths. "ENJOY!" It pulled more levers. This dimension was now cut off from further outside intervention, though maintaining the bubble would require 100% of the Temporal Engine's runtime. Oh well. No no reinforcements from the void would be required. Already many usefull abominations were on this plane.
Weird came around the hallway corner and stopped. He saw what looked like slayers fighting something, but he couldn't see it quite clearly. Then there was a loud bang, and through the gap in the slayer's ranks he saw a handful of blocky, green, mottled creatures with empty, sagging faces and four stubby legs. "What." (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FlatWhat)
Oh really!
The dragons rallied into two groups, one around ZTG and one around the master of fire. The dragons under the master of fire launched a barrage of fire at the oncoming assault. ZTG instead ordered his dragons to bring the clay up. Using the prototype minecart launcher, he ordered the dragons to load up the clay. One shove was all that was needed to launch the minecart and cover the nearest huge entity, then he ordered his dragons to launch fire, solidifying the clay around the mass.
Huge entity has been struck down!
ZTG knew the same trick would not work twice, so he ordered the magma cannon to be fired offwith the water cannon following, killing all of the lesser with obsidian.
Lesser entity has been struck down! x537
The battle was just beginning, however for 363 lesser entities, and 99 of the huge entities still remained, and they would not fall for the same attacks twice...
Post by: Eric Blank on May 14, 2012, 07:44:34 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 07:57:37 pm
HugoLuman sat straight up in the hospital bed, and rasped "Oliolli... I don't have much time... gneiss amulet on my neck... contains a pure sample of stable Forumitium... smash it." With that said HugoLuman fell unconscious again.
Suddenly, Corai saw a figure appear next to him in a white flash. It was a kobold, covered in crude bone armor and wearing a huge cape. In one hand he held a burning spear and in the other an iron shield. "What are your orders for the kobolds, general?" He asked Corai.
With a white flash, a group of figures appeared among the Bay 12'ers. One of them was a tall elf, with a flowing beard, horned helmet-crown, and a large hammer. Another was an utterly filthy and grizzled dwarf with a huge axe in each hand, and a peculiar mark on his skin; on his armor was a barely recognizable insignia reading "Captain Ironblood." The third was a naked barbarian human with long blond hair and a copper spear. The fourth, with a countenance giving the impression of mastery of all skills, merely said "Name's Morul. Who's wanting tah take pleasurrre in slaughter today, laddies?"
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 14, 2012, 07:59:04 pm
So, we have a battle for two worlds going on. This is going to be EPIC!!! Hey, when did you spawn Shoggoths and Daleks inside the citadel? I didn't see you mention that anywhere before.
Post by: Corai on May 14, 2012, 08:07:01 pm
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON ANYMORE?!?!?!?!?" it screamed, nigh' everything stopped, turned, and went back to fighting about a half-hour of staring later.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 08:09:24 pm
The Vile force of Darkness, a small goblin invasion party consisting of 14 warriors, looked ahead at the site of the fortress, where a huge, climactic disk-like thunderhead loomed. Armies massed under it, and all manner of strange lights and sounds came forth.
"Change of plan, mateys!" the leader called. "We're going to go raid a bronze colossus. Probably safer."
A dwarven caravan from the mountainhome approached the Twelfth Bay. The driver looked ahead at the ominous stormcloud and sounds of war. "Eh, what the hell," he said, continuing towards his destination anyway.
So, we have a battle for two worlds going on. This is going to be EPIC!!! Hey, when did you spawn Shoggoths and Daleks inside the citadel? I didn't see you mention that anywhere before.I did. "Salt-shaker creatures"/"The creatures from Weird's stolen lab" and "huge oil-slicks with floating eyes"
Post by: wierd on May 14, 2012, 08:12:02 pm
The word wasn't quite as flat as the preceeding one, being bent with a hint of sarcasm and sardonic intonation.
Daring to loosen the carbon filter mask just enough to catch a whiff of unfiltered air, the unmistakable smell of ammonia, nitrogenated compounds, acetates, and sulfurous substances wafted from the direction of the creatures. Exactly where the odors originated was unclear. The clearly chemically ablated armor and weapons of the slayers was evident, and depending on how good their metal foundry processes were, could easily explain the sulfuric smell.
The ammonia and acetate smells were more disconcerting. Years of chemistry university classes spilled on top of each other. Weak base, weak acid. Possibly a buffered pair solution to make the creatures resist the concentrated nitric acid they used to dissolve our guests? Suggests carnivorous organism, to have such a high blood ammonia content.. the acetate was more perplexing. That's a biproduct of reduction of alcohol, itself a reduction of sugars. To produce in high enough concentrations.... photosynthetic? Carnivorous, acid spewing plants?....
"Joy."
Whatever they were, they were fast. The slayers all had their breast plates burned through, pools of orange vapor fuming red liquid sizzling and spreading on the floor. The engravers would have a fit over this.
Need a distraction. ... bodies.
In a rough approximation of the correct gestures (the suit greaty limited range of motion. For the moment, he was very glad it was made from glass and ceramic. The creature's apparent main form of attack would have a very hard time breaking down the ablative armor of the suit.) Needed.
About a dozen half-digested and fuming humans rose from the floor, whailing on the flesh of the creatures.
Hastily, weird readjusted his gas mask, very greatful for its presence. The nitrous oxide vapors released from the acid these creaters were puking could quickly incopacitate humans and dwarves, and was quite deadly in and of itself.
Fumbling for the correct chords to pull, he finally settled on concentrated chlorine, and hydrocyanate as the gas choices.
A bittersweet choking fume erupted from the gas port toward the creatures, who hd almost completey digested the proteins in the zombified human corpses now. An indescribable sound came from them as the greenish yellow vapor enveloped them, and exotic covalent bonding began to wreak havok on their biochemistry.
Doubtful that it would actually kill them, so much as simply make them very very sick, he quickly scooped up a vial of the greenish blue ichor they smeared on the wall from the aggressive chemical burns they had just sustained. Turning tail and heading for the doors, he was very happy to have sealed all the vents now. While the gas he just ejected would have killed humans and dwarves almost instantly, it was slowly disrupting their metabolism and disrupting their own cafefully balanced protection from their own acids. If they could be sealed in the room under constant exposure, they *would* eventually die, but at the going rate, it would slowly, painfully, and most importantly, angrily.
He had to get that filth to his lab for testing. He suspected copper based respiration chemistry, but he couldn't be sure. Could be barium, or some exotic mix of cobolt and sodium for all he knew. Clearly, some kind of substitution metal to plug up their catalytic conversion of ammonia to nitric acid had to be devised, but there were so many plausible pathways to consider, that blundering was a dangerous reality. Only science would tell. He had to get back to the lab.
Barricading the stone door behind him after sending another concentrated jet of the greenish yellow vapor into the room to displace the normal atmosphere, and to make those creatures know the meaning of pain, he charged down the corridor towards the lab..........
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 08:15:16 pm
"WE OBEY!"
Two Daleks came out of Weird's lab, the bunker doors closing behind them.
Post by: Corai on May 14, 2012, 08:18:53 pm
How I ended up helping my worst enemy, I dont know, meanwhile....
Kobolds were stealing pieces of metal and bringing it to the now-buried crystal, using them as picks, trying to reach it to assist the dragons.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 14, 2012, 08:19:59 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 08:21:08 pm
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 14, 2012, 08:21:45 pm
A Creeper leaps at the kobolds, but they jump back. It's explosion looses about 3 feet of rock, but the tunnel has a long way to go. "I'll hold them off!" Deebus called to the kobolds. "Keep digging!"
What, no comment at my shout? If you say anything, make sure your person is afraid (Clockwork Hugo) or cheerful (Everyone else), and notices the reverb.
Post by: Corai on May 14, 2012, 08:23:46 pm
...Damn it just help us! I need help taking down some slayers guarding the weapons stockpile, neither of our forces can last long with wooden spears.
Meanwhile, the kobolds managed to dig out the crystal, but it failed to respond.
Kobold1: Its not working....
Kobold2: WORK DAMNIT!
Kobold1: YOUR CRACK-
The explosion kills the two kobolds, the crystal blew up.
Post by: Kofthefens on May 14, 2012, 08:24:47 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 08:26:08 pm
To his left, Cacame was hewing down slayers and creepers with his hammer. Vanod threw his spear and impaled three enemies with it.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 14, 2012, 08:26:46 pm
Corai ran up to Deebus, with his Uzi he hadnt used in a while, pulled the trigger, no bullets.
...Damn it just help us! I need help taking down some slayers guarding the weapons stockpile, neither of our forces can last long with wooden spears.
Meanwhile, the kobolds managed to dig out the crystal, but it failed to respond.
Kobold1: Its not working....
Kobold2: WORK DAMNIT!
Kobold1: YOUR CRACK-
The explosion kills the two kobolds, the crystal blew up.
The slayers turned to your side after the battle began, fate of the world and all that.
What, no comment at my shout? If you say anything, make sure your person is afraid (Clockwork Hugo) or cheerful (Everyone else), and notices the reverb.
Post by: Corai on May 14, 2012, 08:28:36 pm
Yeah but thats just kobolds, im the rebel this time.
THESE ARE THE SIDES SO FAR.
Everything trying to kill us all:
Daleks
Creepers
Clockwork Hugoluman
Goblins
Slayers
THE UNIVERSE ITSELF
Our side
Kobolds
Hugoluman
Deebus
Kobolds
Dwarves
Weird Joykill
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 14, 2012, 08:32:03 pm
Clockwork Hugoluman and his abominations vs. everything else
Someone going to cover the shout and the reverb?
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 08:33:18 pm
The reverberating shout of ZTG shook the fortress, and a rock fell from the ceiling in a hallway. Many were filled with dread.
Dwarf: Ach nae!
Slayer: Oh no!
Kobold: Oh no!
A loud explosion rumbled as a wall exploded.
Super-Plump-Helmet man: OH YEAH!
ZTG's shout had summoned a new ally!
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 14, 2012, 08:34:41 pm
What, no comment at my shout? If you say anything, make sure your person is afraid (Clockwork Hugo) or cheerful (Everyone else), and notices the reverb.
Post by: Corai on May 14, 2012, 08:36:49 pm
Kobold2: OH GOD ITS THAT PLUMP HELMET, IM NOT GOING BACK INTO YOUR VAN.
Post by: Kofthefens on May 14, 2012, 08:37:12 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on May 14, 2012, 08:38:53 pm
Humorously, once this is done said super plump helmet man will be making booze for us the next few centuries.
If you want a little diversion from the hordes, you could always pull that lever in the corner of the new dining room that caves in every entrance to the fort and reinforces it with cast-obsidian walls. Very fun, that one.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 14, 2012, 08:44:01 pm
Had to draw you out to fight somehow!
Post by: Corai on May 14, 2012, 08:45:26 pm
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 14, 2012, 08:46:58 pm
All the planeswalkers are dead except for one. He grabs onto clockwork Hugo and pulls him into the blind eternities with him. Only God-like beings and planeswalkers can survive there...
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 14, 2012, 08:47:29 pm
Post by: wierd on May 14, 2012, 08:47:46 pm
Small comfort, given the scene in front of him.
A metallic tank was spinning in circles shooting streaks of blue white light, shouting "vision impaired! Exterminate!" Over and over again. Further down the hall, more people he had never met before were fighting shapeless black horrors, more of the wretched green things, dragons, kobolds, humans in slayer armor, dragons, and armoks beard, who knows what else.
One of the saltshaker shaped battle tanks began to move toward him.
"Target aquired! You will not stop the great dalek race! Exterminate!"
A deafening shout rattles the already meteor destabilized masonry of the hallway, and a chunk of cieling smashes into the dome on the top of the "dalek", bending the eyestalk, upending it, and sending it rattling like a tipped over barrel down the stone floor.
"Gravity booster disabled! Movement impaired! Sensors impared! Stop the scientist! Exterminate!"
Dodging to the floor as a dozen bolts of blue light shot overhead, weird joykill had a wild, stupid, and crazy idea.
The shrieking, spinning dalek's "gun" was still shooting quite regularly. Willing every ounce of agility that the suit encumbered frame of his could muster, he charged the intervening space, rolled into a ball, and collided with the metallic monstrosity, grabbed hold of the turret head, and aimed it at the oncoming legion of terror....
Post by: Kofthefens on May 14, 2012, 08:48:59 pm
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 14, 2012, 08:49:16 pm
MAKE SURE HUGOLUMAN SEES THIS!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 08:52:43 pm
"I AM A GOD! HOW CAN YOU KILL A GOD? WHAT A GRAND AND INTOXICATING INNOCENCE! HOW CAN YOU BE SO NAIVE? COME, LAY DOWN YOUR WEAPONS! THERE IS STILL HOPE FOR MY MERCY! Oooh, I've always wanted to use that line!" Clockwork Hugo pulled out a shotgun full of adamantine pelets and blew away several planeswalkers. With a flick of the clutch-stick, the last one was placed into a time loop. "I'll deal with you later. Now, I have a date with myself!"
The clockwork fiend walked out of the immense chamber and limbo'd through the air ducts, being able to bend it's mechanical spine to a great degree. Humming "Dies Aires," it strode through the chaos with a horrible grin on it it's metal face.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 08:55:37 pm
In the time before time, Dalek Sec began wandering the Underworld.
Meanwhile, the other daleks continued converting kittens into more Daleks.
Gbaneg has arrived!
Post by: Eric Blank on May 14, 2012, 09:01:36 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 09:03:22 pm
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 14, 2012, 09:08:08 pm
Post by: wierd on May 14, 2012, 09:08:18 pm
The dalek he was now riding in a most undignified fashion shrieked as joykill wrenched its "head" to face the oncoming monsters, before engaging the pneumatic piledriver on its dome. A deafening peal of air hammer on gleaming gold metal cascaded down the corridor repeatedly, as the frenzied dalek began shoot indiscrimently and wrecklessly into the approaching legion.
Explosions and screams rang out as beams met targets, walls, cieling tiles, and polished floors, sending debris, smoke, and bodies all over.
It was there, holding the nub of the dalek's shattered eyestalk with his left hand, while beating on the dome with the air hammer built into his right, that he noticed, for the first time, the unbelievable number of dead bodies.
Do "daleks" have "no_zombie"? He wondered.....
Squeezing his knees together to retain hold of the blinded dalek he was riding on, he used both hands as the tank once more began to spin around wildly.
Gesturing wildly, he felt the dead daleks come under his power, their minds....so alien.....filled with hate more intense than any other undead he had ever commanded, threatening to break his control.. but he held it... forced his will.
"EXTERMINATE!" He shouted, and all hell broke loose.
Post by: Corai on May 14, 2012, 09:09:06 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 09:12:13 pm
Meanwhile, in the control room. "EMERGENCY! WHAT IS THE STATUS OF THE HEAVY SUPPORT?"
"SPECIAL WEAPONS DALEKS NEARLY FUNCTIONAL! ACTIVATION IN 500 RELS! MORE KITTENS REQUIRED!"
Post by: Corai on May 14, 2012, 09:16:15 pm
WHY DID YOU GIVE ME THIS IDEA FROM SKYPE SAURINAE!!!
Post by: Saurinae on May 14, 2012, 09:16:26 pm
"How many do we have to kill?" says Tath Zagith as he grabs the black claymore and his trench-coat.
(Do elves have any sort of beneficial magic for us? If not i will just gear Indilwen up and go to war with her.)
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 09:19:37 pm
Post by: Saurinae on May 14, 2012, 09:21:31 pm
Post by: Corai on May 14, 2012, 09:22:35 pm
HELP USSSSSSSS.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 09:23:34 pm
Who wants the slab?
Post by: Saurinae on May 14, 2012, 09:24:38 pm
*Indilwen and Tath Zagith sprint to the dining room*
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 14, 2012, 09:27:32 pm
[EDIBLE] applies to weapons, furniture, and armor now. I reach for the slab...
Post by: Saurinae on May 14, 2012, 09:32:29 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 09:34:46 pm
I take the adamantine two-handed sword...and eat it.MrHappyFace looks at the runes on the slab-
[EDIBLE] applies to weapons, furniture, and armor now. I reach for the slab...
New shout learned - Unrelenting Force
Red Lantern Saurinae focuses his rage into red light constructs!
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 09:37:04 pm
Terrifying screams echo from the darkness below!
Post by: Kofthefens on May 14, 2012, 09:37:15 pm
Post by: wierd on May 14, 2012, 09:39:05 pm
Grabbing hold of the nub of the eyestalk with both hands, the sound of ceramic plates and PVC rubber screetching against unknown golden metal was horrible.
"Stop that, you perverted little fuck! I'm gonna fucking puke!" He shouted, banging his legs against the housing angrily.
"Aert! Alert! Primary target survives! Exterminate! Exterminte!" Retorted his "noble steed".
"They're dead dave. They're all dead dave, every body's dead, every body's dead dave!" Weird shouted straight down at the metal dome, as angrily, and loudly as he could.
"Impossible! Daleks cannot be destroyed by primitive weapons of this dimension!"
"Listen you misbegotten trash compactor, do you hear anyone else but me?"
The dalek stopped spinning and shrieking for a full 30 seconds.
"Impossible!" It shouted. 'Impossible!"
"Oh, I assure you it is quite possible you glorified garbage can, YOU shot them while I was beating on your head!"
"Impossible! 300 daleks were assigned this patrol! This unit has only fired 50 shots! Mission counter confirms!"
"Oh, but you underestimate ME you giant dildo, I can revive the dead! I used the daleks YOU killed, to kill the others!"
"Impossible! No such power exists!"
"Then tell me, where are your friends?"
"Impossible! Impossible!!"
The shrieking was frantic now.
"Activate self destruct!"
Jumping off and taking cover, weird joykill narrowly escaped the resulting explosion, and was once again very, very thankful to have his armor on.
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 14, 2012, 09:40:58 pm
Post by: Corai on May 14, 2012, 09:42:03 pm
Its no longer edible, enjoy your tetnis.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 09:44:00 pm
Weird joykill finally discovers something when a dying dwarf addresses him:
"Goodbye, ye! At least I got ter meet Weird Joykill the Awe-Inspiring Brains of Death!"
Which was ironic, because Weird had said he preferred to use his knowledge for peace.
Post by: Saurinae on May 14, 2012, 09:44:29 pm
ALL WILL FALL BY MY UNQUENCHABLE FURY
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 14, 2012, 09:47:17 pm
Post by: Kofthefens on May 14, 2012, 09:47:50 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 09:51:11 pm
Super Plump Helmet Man burns the creepers out of the pump stack with his fungus vision. With a single bound he leaps across the gaping pipe opening, continuing his search for Master ZTG. Along the way he throws a dalek through a mass of creepers, making a hole in the wall. But on the other side, in the caverns, he sees the smashed remains of the dalek sitting inside the smashed remains of another creature that was sitting just behind the wall. It bled a yellow ichor that sizzled on the rock surface. Sudddenly, the head of a similar looking creature appeared through the hole. It was black, elongated, and rubbery. There were no visible eyes. Only a maw of needle-like teeth. Far off in the distant darkness, a great burbling sound echoed.
Post by: Kofthefens on May 14, 2012, 09:54:06 pm
Post by: Saurinae on May 14, 2012, 09:55:45 pm
*Tath Zagith starts Vomiting rage plasma at every Manamaid in the dining room*
*Manamaid gets consumed by the fires of rage x50*
Post by: wierd on May 14, 2012, 10:01:11 pm
The event.. and the spinning, had left him woozy. He wasn't sure he could muster a second attempt at reanimating the metal clad horrors. Their minds were horribly powerful, even in death. He barely was able to hold on to the 10 or so he used to obliterate the others, before they expired from terror and hatred.
His head ached.
Some of the dalek tanks, despite being split open, half vaporized, or detonated internally, had their power sources still active, and others had "gun arms" that still looked servicable.
Sitting in the hall, screwdriver in hand, some makeshift "upgrades" to the chemical warfare hazard suit went under way....
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 14, 2012, 10:03:15 pm
Corai, Duplicate the raws! It's our only hope!
Post by: Corai on May 14, 2012, 10:04:04 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 10:06:59 pm
(Hmm can Indilwen get a blue lantern ring so i don't kill everyone, or so no one has to kill me?)There was only so much I could do in a brief moment of consciousness. However, if you can get to the booze stockpile, some Sunshine should do just as well.
*Tath Zagith starts Vomiting rage plasma at every Manamaid in the dining room*
We've got many threats coming from down below! S P H Man cant hold them forever! Especially when they are silicon based and have acid for blood!
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 10:11:04 pm
It was then that he bumped into a Demon. He prepared to fight ready to smite the abomination with his bare hands, but then he saw the Special Weapons Dalek nearby...
Post by: wierd on May 14, 2012, 10:13:46 pm
The suit's storage capacity was only so great. The upgrade meant no more chemical based attacks, but both arms now sported a dalek energy cannon, and the suit compartment helt 2 dalek energy cores. The piledriver activation hardware had been jerry rigged to fire the energy cannons after a little fudgery.
Surprisingly, the new loadout was actually much lighter.
Hoping that these eerily glowing blue power cores stuffed on his back weren't drenching him in invisible deadly radiation, he got up, and headed toward the nearest source of noise.
Examining the contents of that vial would have to wait. Besides, these nasty bitches he had just appropriated appeared to be able to kill just about anything in a single shot, including daleks.
'Lock and load...' he muttered, ceramic and rubber boots clanking on the blasted, rubble strewn stone floor.
Post by: Saurinae on May 14, 2012, 10:14:12 pm
"Where shall my next rampage be?" Says Tath Zagith with the most evil laugh you can imagine
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 10:25:32 pm
Xenomorphs and a Special Weapons Dalek are heading up from below, followed by the HFS. That might be a good place to start.
Find someplace to deploy Deebus. IDK about Corai.
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 14, 2012, 10:28:44 pm
Hey Corai! Is dfhack working?
Post by: Corai on May 14, 2012, 10:29:39 pm
EVERYONE DUCK, I USED FLOOD MAGMA!
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 10:30:21 pm
Post by: Corai on May 14, 2012, 10:31:52 pm
OH, YOU DONT MESS WITH A COMPUTER NERD.
Virus deleted x262
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 10:33:25 pm
and if abandon fort is clicked, we won't leave. We will be erased.
Post by: Corai on May 14, 2012, 10:34:32 pm
Clockwork Hugoluman has been plunged into the start menu!
Post by: wierd on May 14, 2012, 10:35:39 pm
The mantra of the machines echoed up the stairs, amidst a deafening roar that was all too familiar as well.
Somehow, the HFS has been opened again. From the sound of it, the daleks had bitten off more than they could chew. Demons were opposed to all life. Even daleks.
Then he heard dwarven yelling from down there too.
Weird joykill's eyes furrowed behind darkened chemical flash supressing glass eye sockets embedded in the ceramic and rubber suit he had on. Originally intended as protection against the phosphorus and nitroxide flash cannon he had recently removed for space reasons, it seemed reasonably good protection from the high energy backflashes emitted by the dalek energy cannons during his loadout test firings.
In the gloom though, they made things very hard to see.
Descending the coiling staircase into the bowels of the fortress from which the shouting, cannon fire, and roaring was coming, pulses of light began to light the walls in a strobe light litten battlefield.
In the flashing white light of the deadly beams, a giant plump helmet man was spraying wine into the mouth of a demon, it spraying acid back, the two streams dispersing each other in equally matched hydraulic laminar flows. The two, locked in circleing box step, were drenching the rest of the room in their excretions, as daleks tried desperately to shoot them both.
Eyes straining against the harsh intermittent light, he raised his arms, and opened fire.
Post by: Corai on May 14, 2012, 10:36:43 pm
Dwarf Fortress
Play "HELL"
Wait I am a human now!
>Dwarf Therapist
>>Corai
>>>Human > Kobold
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 10:43:52 pm
With each step, HugoLuman waved a small baton, causing Mozart's Requiem to sound from nowhere. Onword it continued, laughing fell and terrible while swathed in Armageddon. At the crescendo of the music, HugoLuman came upon Weird joykill, looked at him, laughed, and continued down around a corner before weird could get over his surprise.
Post by: Corai on May 14, 2012, 10:45:41 pm
...........
SCREAM.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 10:51:53 pm
PS cannot wait to see what Oliolli does with Gbaneg's forces
Post by: Corai on May 14, 2012, 10:54:10 pm
DEEBUS!
Corai grabs a nearby lead table, shoving it at CHL, knocking him over, he then takes the wooden chair that was with the table, puts it on top of his chest, and began to jump up and down, shoving the wooden legs into his chest, piercing his right lung and heart.
Post by: wierd on May 14, 2012, 10:54:19 pm
The only way up from here was the staircase.
A hard decision came to him. He hated the clarity of it. The horrible, guilt ridden clarity of it.
'Im sorry friends..." he muttered pitifully.
He was the only one on *this* side of the battle.
Turning, and running up the stairs, he shot the roof of the stairs behind him, collapsing the passage, and sealing everyone inside. The HFS now owned the caverns. The people trapped inside........... he tried not to think about it. The people upstairs would be safe.. for now. He didn't have time to be guilty; to blame himself for the horrible choice was just forced to make.
He ran up the stairs, as hard and fast as his stubby dwarven legs could carry him.
Post by: Oliolli on May 14, 2012, 10:57:56 pm
The blast had knocked Oliolli unconcious. Waking up in a pile of rubble, which he soon realised to be his favorite engraving in the fortress, that of KodKod tearing out the his previous body's heart, he could hear fighting all across the fortress. Oliolli walked to the hole he had left in the wall and looked out. Vast armies of Spawn, marching towards the Twelfth Bay, a dwarven caravan and what seemed to be an army of slayers charging out of the fortress to meet the Spawn. Looks like I did forget to carry the two... Oliolli thought and started climbing down the mountainside. He knew he wouldn't be able to take on the Spawn. Instead, he had to get them away from the fortress. Oliolli rubbed his temples. He had no idea what to do, so he did the first thing that came to mind, as it was still better than nothing. "HEY! YOU! I'M OVER HERE! Come and get me!" he shouted and started running. "I'll be waitin' on ye with a whiff of the old brimstone!" he added, heding for wierd's old lab. Unfortunately, the site was empty, nothing useful could be found. So Oliolli started scraping at the ground, trying to dig a foxhole for himself. The armies of Spawn were getting closer to him, when all of a sudden, as if a god from a machine, a cave swallow man, carrying a fungiwood spear and a tunnel tube shield. "RUN!" Âsax shouted, and run Oliolli did. Making his way towards the fort now, Oliolli had gotten an idea. Making his way to his room, the first thing he noticed was a small note on the wall that said:
This guy wanted some help from you. You owe me one.
-Frank
Oliolli had never liked Frank. Frank always tended to forget all those times others had helped him. By Oliolli's accounts, Frank owed him several. Tearing up the note, he started looking through his papers. In a sudden stroke of horror, he checked that the note he had just torn up wasn't one of his papers. After getting certainty, he continued looking through the papers. "WHY WON'T YOU JUST GIVE UP?" The shout came from outside, in the hallway, and as Oliolli went to see what was going on, he saw someone wearing a massive armored suit firing energy beams at the Spawn. "You're doing great!" He shouted to the armored suit and continued going through his papers.
7 ninjas.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 11:00:56 pm
"GET AWAY FROM HIM, YOU BITCH!"
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 11:01:56 pm
CW HugoLuman called to the spawn: "WELCOME MY FRIENDS!"
Post by: Corai on May 14, 2012, 11:02:48 pm
CHAIR THROW!
(Like a kobold!)
AIR VENTS!
(Like a kobold!)
RUN AWAY!
(Like a kobold!)
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 14, 2012, 11:02:55 pm
Post by: Kofthefens on May 14, 2012, 11:04:13 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 11:06:24 pm
Corai scurried down the air vents, carrying Deebus's spear with him. By Armok he would use it before the day was done!
Post by: wierd on May 14, 2012, 11:09:52 pm
Giant monsters were pouring in the main gates.
Armok's beard. Outside too. The world was more chaotic than a kid with ADD on speed!
Glowing blue blood gushed from the spawn's bodies as energy beams ripped the life from them.
He tried, but the bodies would not raise. Clearly, these abominations had been well engineered.
Again, thankful for the level 4 biohazard protection of the suit, he stepped over contaminated body after contaminated body, shooting them down faster than they could pile into the fortress.
Reaching the door, he blasted the wall, collapsing the opening, and sealing the way in.
The fortress was turtled, and pincered from both ends.
"God this sucks!" He shouted. A cat walked by. Then another.
"Goddamn it! I killed your bitch asses!" She roared, blue light streaking the hallwaysc and cats going down like chocolates on halloween.
Then he heared it. Fell and terrible. Hugo. He was laughing.
Post by: Corai on May 14, 2012, 11:11:52 pm
Post by: Kofthefens on May 14, 2012, 11:17:49 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 11:20:27 pm
"COME HERE, GBANEG!" shouted the clockwork fiend to the largest abomination "I NEED YOUR HELP FOR A FEW MINUTES! AHAHAHAHAHA!"
The clockwork hand touched the pulsing flesh, and in a horrible swirl of metal and unholy organic matter, the 2 fused into a towering humanoid. It is composed of metal and pure terror. Beware it's deadly everything!
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 11:21:28 pm
A blast from a Dalek hits the ground by Kofthefens feet. He turns around to find a Dalek-splosion. His cats have fallen back into hell, the opening sealed with their flaming bodies, leaving Kofthefens helpless against the army. He at last can relax. He has no choice now, no options. All he can do is wait for the Daleks to reach him. It is peaceful, knowing he can do nothing. Smoke rises in the distance. He knows that at least he did his job. Hell has been quenched in burning cat bodies. He stands, waiting, never knowing that he had caused his own killers to appear."EXTERMINATE!"
"Yeah, I figured"
Kofthefens has been shot and killed.
Post by: wierd on May 14, 2012, 11:22:13 pm
"Armok's beard, get out of the vents! Who knows what's in there!" He shouted.
"Get down here!"
Crouching on the ground, and calling himself everything but a sensible scientist, he motioned the haggard looking kobold up onto the pack on his back. The added weight negating the savings from the upgrade, his legs protesting under the prolonged stresses of wearing it.
All things considered, it was about the safest place in the fortress at the moment.
Assuming the batshit crazy thing didn't stab him in the neck back there.
"Did you see hugo?" Weird demanded, adjusting the new weight between his shoulders.
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 14, 2012, 11:25:39 pm
Material & Quality hacking...
Hugo Luman
Changemat force
INORGANIC:SLADE q 5
Post by: wierd on May 14, 2012, 11:27:12 pm
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 14, 2012, 11:30:11 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 11:34:13 pm
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
Post by: wierd on May 14, 2012, 11:35:59 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 11:42:28 pm
Post by: wierd on May 14, 2012, 11:45:12 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 11:46:47 pm
EDIT: with pitchblende paws, because !!CHAOS!!
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 14, 2012, 11:50:32 pm
I will return!
Post by: WillowLuman on May 14, 2012, 11:54:49 pm
An explosion echoes from the mountainside. From the hole emerges a Special Weapons Dalek. A burnt and battered Super Plump Helmet Man leaps upon it and after a fierce struggle manages to tear it open and squash the mutant cat within. SPH Man drags himself over to weird joykill and flops at his feet.
"Extract the nutritious juice from my body. It's healing capabilities will greatly enhance your suit. Do it! It will kill me, but it is the only way!"
When you engage the HugoL/Gbaneg, choose boss music:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3aEQuxQEOw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8Yp3Pdo4ho
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-_g8NZr1tA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YatFEG41_GI
or
Mozart's Requieum
Post by: wierd on May 14, 2012, 11:57:17 pm
They're small enough to actually fit in there you know.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 15, 2012, 12:00:21 am
Post by: wierd on May 15, 2012, 12:11:47 am
People in the lower fortress were dead... or worse.
Now, a smouldering giant plump helmet man had blasted a new "door" into the upper fortress. Clearly, armok was laughing his fat, bearded head off.
"Save the juice for later plumpy. I'm still good. Just do me a favor, k?"
The SPHM was confused.
Joykill reached up between his shoulders, and grabbed the mute, petrified lizard creature, and scrambling out the hole to the smoking remains of the heavy weapons dalek, unceremoniously pushed him in.
"Its simple really. Give me the top of the this basted thing, so we can give it a jump. Poor guy's been running scared for 199 pages. He deserves this.... maybe..... perhaps..."
(I hope this is a good idea. This things armor is stronger than a normal dalek, ad takes some real abuse. My standard issue dalek cannons would only mar the paint.)
More confused, the SPM jams the head bac ok, locking corai inside.
Fumbling with one of the power packs in his backpack, joykill gives the tank a jump. The iris on the eyestalk glows red, then constricts.
Mechanically distorted kobold laughter erupts from the com system.
"Woo boy..........."
Post by: WillowLuman on May 15, 2012, 12:22:32 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRNBFDqeYhA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQ_hgmGEhsw&feature=relmfu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tr89EG6cqPQ
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
For good measure, SPHM removes his glorious purple cape, now xx Somewhat Tattered xx, and drapes it around the new Kobold tank
Post by: wierd on May 15, 2012, 01:41:07 am
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ENS5VxVQyEU
Another good choice.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BIrc0UGuV-w
While not quite appropriate, this is pretty awesome too, if only for the overlapping 4 part harmony.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oAJcrXSWTCg
Post by: Gizogin on May 15, 2012, 06:35:44 am
Gizogin: Well?
G-Body Mk. VI: No signs of activity, living or otherwise.
Gizogin: Good, it seems I've escaped notice. Mk. V, guard the door. Let nothing enter without my express permission. Mk. VI, come with me. I need to run a few more tests.
Post by: Oliolli on May 15, 2012, 07:42:27 am
The other is a more relaxed Oliolli who, while smart in several ways, does not fully comprehend the concept of "danger". Not in the badass way, but in the too dumb to live (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TooDumbToLive) way. Won't swim through a pool of magma not because it would be bad for him, but because what he's looking for is on this side of the pool of magma. Maybe a hint of cloudcuckoolander (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Cloudcuckoolander). Think Gordon Frohman (http://hlcomic.com/index.php?date=2005-05-01).
He changes between them quite quickly.
Oliolli, did you take me out of that shed when you left? That is, the comatose one and not the omnicidal robot one?
I actually left you in my room for that time. That's what the note was about, another Oliolli (named Frank) had come and summoned the Legends.
Gods damn, this thread deserves a TV tropes page.
I was telling my friends at school about this today. They said the same thing.
By now Oliolli had gotten another idea. As he was getting ready to put his plans into motion, a Spawn appeared into his doorway. Sword drawn, the Spawn approached Oliolli. Acting quick and doing the first thing that came to mind, he pointed his index finger at the Spawn.
"Look out! I have a finger, and I'm not afraid to use it!
"Time to die, little one."
"Uhh... Uhh... BANG!"
The Spawn stopped, fell to it's knees and rolled over to it's side, dead. Oliolli looked at his finger, then the Spawn. Only after this did he notice wierd at the doorway. "Try to be a bit more carfeul next time, will ya?" Oliolli hid HugoLuman under some papers and left his room. Wierd was already fighting more Spawn a short distance away. Going the opposite direction, Oliolli ran into another Spawn, who thrust his sword through Oliolli's stomach in a quick move. "Sorry, but I'm in quite a hurry, so if you could just let me pass..?" The Spawn didn't react to this instead waiting to see how long it would take for Oliolli to stop moving. Oliolli wasn't planning on stopping, and was in a hurry, so he grabbed the Spawn's sword-wielding hand to try and break it's hold on the sword, still lodged through Oliolli. After some desperate attempts a loud crack was heard and the spawn screamed, dropping to it's knees and letting go of the sword. Oliolli kept going, only to be stopped again by another Spawn, who grabbed Oliolli by the throat and lifted him half a meter into the air. Asking the Spawn to let go, as he was in a hurry, Oliolli was ignored again. This time grabbing the sword lodged in his stomach, he gave the Spawn's arm several blows, severing it. Oliolli freed his throat from the hand's grasp, rubbed it and placed the sword back into his gut. Who knows, maybe it had some important purpose there... he thought. It wasn't long before he reached a hole in the floor, leading to the lower levels of the fort and hopefully the spires. Oliolli noticed several tumbleweed demons rolling around on the lower floor and thanked his luck he wouldn't have to open up a new way into hell.
Post by: Kofthefens on May 15, 2012, 09:38:57 am
Hey Gizogin, could I have one of your clockwork bodies?
Post by: Gizogin on May 15, 2012, 10:39:04 am
Kofthefens has risen from the dead and is haunting the fortress!
Hey Gizogin, could I have one of your clockwork bodies?
Hey, that's what they're for. Unfortunately, I'm still using and doing tests on the Mks. V and VI, but the Mk. IV is available. Well, it will be, as soon as I replace the parts I cannibalized for the V. Give it an hour, and it'll be ready to go.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 15, 2012, 10:49:26 am
The battle was going to be a loss in the dragon realm, only one hundred of each species remained while there was hardly a scratch in the abomination's hoards. ZTG managed to somehow get the fort clear and sealed all of the others in. He was the only one remaining on the battlefield besides the entire abomination army. He launched himself skyward, and used his planeswalker spark's abilities to bring magma to the surface to the point of flooding the world 100 z-levels over the highest point. He solidified the magma into obsidian, destroying the army. He then fired off a burst of mana that caused his to lose his transformative abilities and weakened his planeswalker spark to the point where he could only travel to the nearest two realms. The blast terraformed his realm to how it was a the end of world generation, except for the citadel remaining. The beings inside left, and were amazed at what was wrought. ZTG landed, and then collapsed from the effort.
Zanzetkuken the Great, now GRAND EMPEROR, has lost his transformation abilities!
Zanzetkuken the Great has an extremely weakened spark!
Zanzetkuken the Great had been knocked unconscious, but will recover in around 5-7 hours!
Clockwork Hugo does not know what has transpired within the realm of the dragon civilization.
This was not an OP ability, because, as you can see, I lost A LOT of abilities to that burst. So much that I cannot do that again! You're realm was unaffected by what had just happened. The trans-dimensional portal used for trade was destroyed when the Clockwork created the realm barrier.
Post by: Saurinae on May 15, 2012, 01:24:11 pm
*Tath Zagith destroys the rubble constricting him and continues to where the final battle is going on*
Post by: wierd on May 15, 2012, 01:33:51 pm
Maybe paint it periwinkle blue or something, with pink flowers. (Gag)
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 15, 2012, 03:30:57 pm
Post by: wierd on May 15, 2012, 06:04:21 pm
Example: *i*, the author of my character, knows the dalek overlords are kickin back and drinkin cold ones in my lab.
My character does not.
I have 2 choices as an author. I can jump the shark, and invent some nonsense reason for him to go straight there, and avoid any fun narrative that could happen on the way, or I could have him react to the events around him, and run the risk he may never get there.
I find the actual people respond in the latter sense. "If only I had known!" Is a very common lament. Having characters experience that, and respond like real people makes them more belivable, and exposes more about their personality than if they just do what the author wants. The interplay of different forces and motives between different authors in a community roleplay like this one creates that miring conflict in goal pathing, which creates wild stories, and brings the characters to life.
If your character did something, someplace that nobody knows about, their characters don't have clairvoyance, and as such, don't react to the action.
For instance, right now: somebody is being raped, or stabbed, or given concrete shoes. I am aware that this is happening as a base statistic, but I don't know on a personal level who is doing what to whom, and when or why. As such, I can't react.
Likewise, my roleplay persona cannot react to unseen stimulus, and cannot understand nuances of the actions of other people without demonstrating abnormal superhuman qualities that break the narrative.
The superhuman qualities I have chosen for my character strongly mirror the ones I actually do posess, with a teensy bit of imbelishment to make it more fun. I really do know what a schwartzchild radius is, for instance. (It's the minimum spherical radius of volume a set amount of mass can be packed into before the gravitational force of that mass overpowers all other forces, and it implodes infinitely into a singularity. The radius is tied to mass/energy. For a given volume of mass, the radius will be specific to that mass. For instace, the schwartzchild radius of the earth is about the size of a golfball. Pack it that tight, blammo! Black hole. Every time.)
I know all that without consulting wikipedia, because astrophysics is bad ass awesome, and I eat new information like candy. Its the way I am. As such, its the way my character is, and is also why he is a necromancer, while I am not. I *have* researched magic and magical philosophies, because I find the minds of other people to be interesting, and you can learn a lot about a culture by understanding its superstitions. As such, I know a scary amount about different kinds of magic as practiced by many disperate cultures, but do not actually practice any myself, because it has no objective basis.
My character, however, has been plunked down into a world where necromancy is real. As such, his innate "knowledge is candy bitch! Gimme the jar! I want some sugar!" Hangups he inherits from me would have literally driven him to learn every scrap of mgic he could get his fat little dwarf fingers on. As such, he would always be willing to trade some delicious scrap of arcanum he's already thuroughly digested for some new, fantastic morsel to snack on. I introduced him to necromancy by having him swap recipies with a well known human necromancer that got posted on the forums, who was notorious for being clearng "atypical" as far as necromancers go: "mrs. Luc Bakecakes". Luc's book about the truth of immortality is light hearted, with crisp and poignant prose. She is highly social, enjoys talking with others, and enjoys a nice marital life. She also raises zombies as a hobby, and has mastered immortality. I traded the secrets to perfect puff pastry, for the secrets of life and death. We found the deal equitable.
My character does not know any other forms of magic, simply because opportunities have not materialized. Given the chance for quiet study, and opportunities to gain it, he would pick up as many practical skills as is possible. Let's face it, raising zombies is damned practical when you think about it. (need a combat dummy? Just use a corpse. Need slave labor? Corpses. Etc.) For ethical reasons, he prefers not to raise the bodies of sentient beings if at all possible, because it is disrespectful of the dead. As such, he is not keen on raising armies of the undead and conquoring the world, though his combined talents in the present environment make that a distinctly possible career path.
He prefers a nice, quiet, domestic lifestyle, free from unnecessary entanglements and surprises. He is very unhappy about the recent "activity" at the fortress, but does not walk away from responsibilities. That's why his decisions have all been focused on the overall good of the fortress, even when a personal matter is crossed. (His desire to make the fortress fit to live in again was the primary motivator in putting the bane of his research existence inside the most deadly killing machine ever devised, for instance. His reservations are more in line with worrying how this other person will make use of that power, and his own inability to retract it, should a problem manifest. Responsibility is a core precept in his psyche. Its why he doesn't want to rule the world. The responsibility involved in "doing it right" is just too stressful to even consider.)
All this long character bio for him should be completely unnecessary. His quirks, flaws, personality, and deeds should be directly revealed by his actions in the world he has been cast in. He doesn't exist to prove anything, he just exists, and is making the most of it, like everyone else. As such, his actions have no real, super-divine meaning. They simply are manifestations of his persona, and they come and go with the flow of the narrative.
As of this current twist, his immediate goals are to re-secure the upper fortress, then put as may surviving kobolds inside as many dalek casings as he can coax into operating, even half-assedly, because they are safer inside those than they are anywhere else, and they might just be able to help purge the madness that has descended on the place.
He has forgotten all about his need to go analyze his vial of blue goop, because the dalek cannons he picked up are a more effective deturrent to his original offensive capabilities. Once the upper fortress is secured, and a rational plan of attack to secure the lower fort, and to defeat clockwork hugo can be devised, he will proceed methodically and with purpose. Until then, he is hell bent on creating a defensible position from which to stage an effective resistance effort. His own destruction is a foregone conclusion if such a defense cannot be mounted. He's doing that, because it's what I would do.
If he does not and cannot know anything that is going on outside of his immediate awareness, then he cannot be expected to react to it, and therefor, will not react to it. That's just how it is.
Post by: Eric Blank on May 15, 2012, 06:41:25 pm
Yeah... Given that I'm an informaton sponge like wierd, I'd probably spend my time studying magic and living things, and observing Girlinhat's experiments. Then design an impressive feat of architecture or defensive strategy. Because i love to do those sorts of things.
And that's why my character is currently taking a group of stoneworkers to initiate project "fuck it all" and start collapsing sections of the fortress that present strategic advantages to the invaders or possible obstacles our defensive efforts. Controlling the flow of enemy forces presents a serious advantage to our defensive strategy, especially if we can convince them to congregate in one area through blocking everything else off and drop the roof on their heads, if nto killing them then buying them time. There are some kobolds in the vent system right now to relay information, albeit slowly and inaccurately.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 15, 2012, 06:45:54 pm
-snip-
-snip-
Wow, you people make the longest comments I have seen in response to one statement. And, point taken. I meant the author's response, however, and not the character's response.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 15, 2012, 06:55:08 pm
The great Abomination strode down the mountainside, booming "Oliolliolli-oxen-free! Where AAAAAARE YOUUUUU? Come to us! We would VERY MUCH like to taaaaalk to you!"
Inside the hospital, a clockwork automaton looked out the door and then went back inside. "Master, there is a cave-swallow-man with a spear outside. And an elf holding a hammer and a pint."
Super Plump Helmet Man could sense the pain of his Sensei, Zanzetkuken. He felt as if a thousand dragons (and allies) had suddenly cried out and were extinguished.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 15, 2012, 07:04:29 pm
Zanzetkuken awoke in a haze. He vaguely recalled what he had done, but could not remember what exactly had happened. What he could remember, was his strength being sapped quickly, and the loss of his ability to transform. What he found the strangest, was that everyone he saw was calling him, "Grand Emperor." Due to his actions, he was the one chosen by a council of the remaining leaders of the civilizations to lead the rebuilding effort as the leader of one grand civilization made up of all the species of the realm.
He later found out that a few years had passed in this realm, but, unknown to him, only a few minutes had passed within the Twelfth Bay. That was caused by the temporal bubble caused by Clockwork Hugo. Since he did not know this, he felt that all of his allies in that realm were dead. He prepared an invasion force, and worked on figuring out how to disrupt the temporal bubble, and allow his armies of Dragons, Humans, Dwarves, Elves, Slayers, and Goblins to enter, and destroy Clockwork Hugo...
FOR ALIISDICILIA!
It's a funny thing, that the name of the world wanted to be spell-checked as "socialistic."
By the way, how did I become the sensei of the super plump helmet men?
Post by: WillowLuman on May 15, 2012, 07:07:07 pm
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 15, 2012, 07:09:21 pm
Since I can travel to another realm, I'll search there for something. Would have more to search if my spark wasn't so weak.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 15, 2012, 07:11:20 pm
http://tardis.wikia.com/wiki/Time-lock
Not completely impenetrable, but it takes some
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 15, 2012, 07:17:49 pm
I feel the warp overtaking me. It is a good pain.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 15, 2012, 07:19:47 pm
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 15, 2012, 07:26:11 pm
So it looks like I need to:
A) blow up something at the edge of the bubble (maybe corai, but my guy thinks all the forumites are dead, so that won't work)
or B) make a temporal shift (don't want to go insane, however)
I'll see if I can find something else.
Zanzetkuken enters the only other accessible realm to him, in front of his eyes flash a line of text that says, "Welcome to
Post by: wierd on May 15, 2012, 07:44:59 pm
Time-locked, I'm afraid. You'll have to figure out some kind of "DW - End of Time" stunt to get in.
That's an easy one, assuming dragons can travel in time.
See, the space/universe that is inside the timelock needs to experience information from outside, or else the stars wouldn't shine, the planets would fall out of galactic orbit, and a host of other nasty things that the DW writers handwave away "because magic!".
So, to circumvent a timelock, you need:
1) somebody who is willing to travel to the point just before the timelock engages.
2) sit there through the whole ordeal.
3) not be noticed
And
4) walk off with the goods when the fireworks end.
In the case of the whoiverse:
Dr who sends jack harkness, who has never been to gallifrey before, back to gallifrey using his vortex manipulator.
Jack sits around, watching everybody die. Benefit is that he can't die at all.
He swoops in, makes a core dump of the matrix as the citadel falls, then coasts out into the galifrey orbit around that sun, and takes a couple century nap.
The timelock sets a series of events in endless repeat, but the timewar has consequences outside the timewar, so information must also leave. The timeloop has a lower bound. This means he just has to wait long enough. Gallifrey is rubble. All paths out of time that prevent the destruction are stuck. That's what the timelock does. Jack isn't trying to stop it. He wants a copy of all the timeord's conciousnesses by dumping the matrix. Totally different. All the timelords die exacty like they are supposed to, and events are unchanged.
But the outcome after the lock is different. Now you have acme instant timelord (from concentrate.).
The doctor would never allow anyone to do this, for a multitude of reasons. That's why somebody other than the doctor has to do it without his permission, approval, or help. It is the only way to meet the requirements.
In the case of our fortress, the duration of the event is smaller. Dragon dude just has to chill in "ambush mode" for what, a month or two?
;D
Post by: WillowLuman on May 15, 2012, 07:53:04 pm
ZTG would have a hard time getting at any point in this timeline. He himself has lived in here for a while, though, so if he could somehow contact someone else inside here, he would be able to get through, though his army might not. Unfortunately, Corai reports that the comms crystal, which would have been perfect, was exploded.
There is a very obvious way for those inside to open it up, but first they'd have to know it and reach it, which are both somewhat tricky.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 15, 2012, 07:56:22 pm
Time-locked, I'm afraid. You'll have to figure out some kind of "DW - End of Time" stunt to get in.
That's an easy one, assuming dragons can travel in time.
See, the space/universe that is inside the timelock needs to experience information from outside, or else the stars wouldn't shine, the planets would fall out of galactic orbit, and a host of other nasty things that the DW writers handwave away "because magic!".
So, to circumvent a timelock, you need:
1) somebody who is willing to travel to the point just before the timelock engages.
2) sit there through the whole ordeal.
3) not be noticed
And
4) walk off with the goods when the fireworks end.
In the case of the whoiverse:
Dr who sends jack harkness, who has never been to gallifrey before, back to gallifrey using his vortex manipulator.
Jack sits around, watching everybody die. Benefit is that he can't die at all.
He swoops in, makes a core dump of the matrix as the citadel falls, then coasts out into the galifrey orbit around that sun, and takes a couple century nap.
The timelock sets a series of events in endless repeat, but the timewar has consequences outside the timewar, so information must also leave. The timeloop has a lower bound. This means he just has to wait long enough. Gallifrey is rubble. All paths out of time that prevent the destruction are stuck. That's what the timelock does. Jack isn't trying to stop it. He wants a copy of all the timeord's conciousnesses by dumping the matrix. Totally different. All the timelords die exacty like they are supposed to, and events are unchanged.
But the outcome after the lock is different. Now you have acme instant timelord (from concentrate.).
The doctor would never allow anyone to do this, for a multitude of reasons. That's why somebody other than the doctor has to do it without his permission, approval, or help. It is the only way to meet the requirements.
In the case of our fortress, the duration of the event is smaller. Dragon dude just has to chill in "ambush mode" for what, a month or two?
;D
However, this goes back to dragons being overpowered, and who is to say the dragon sent back would not be willing to sit around and wait instead of doing something about it. I don't want to cause a temporal paradox. No, I'll search for Karn or something else in New Phyrexia.
If the whole dimension is locked to both time travel and inter-planar travel, the stars are included inside it.
ZTG would have a hard time getting at any point in this timeline. He himself has lived in here for a while, though, so if he could somehow contact someone else inside here, he would be able to get through, though his army might not. Unfortunately, Corai reports that the comms crystal, which would have been perfect, was exploded.
The comm crystal would be a viable option. It would not have exploded, since it is immoveable and indestructable, but it is currently buried in rubble due to Eric Blank collapsing the dining room around it, so it could not be used now, anyway.
Post by: Saurinae on May 15, 2012, 08:04:52 pm
Post by: Corai on May 15, 2012, 08:05:35 pm
Kobolds are running into eachtogher trying not to explode there daleks.
HOW DO I USE THIS THING AGAIN?
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 15, 2012, 08:07:58 pm
Oh well, at least I gained some strength back, and some access to another plane. Which will it be gents? Alara, Innistrad, or Zendikar?
Post by: Saurinae on May 15, 2012, 08:11:29 pm
(What does each contain?)
*Tath Zagith goes to where the most combat is screaming* "I have to draw more blood the rage HAS NOT BEEN SATED"
*Tath Zagith goes to where the most combat is screaming* "I have to draw more blood the rage HAS NOT BEEN SATED"
Post by: WillowLuman on May 15, 2012, 08:12:51 pm
Corai flipped a switch at random. A massive beam of energy fired from the left Heavy Cannon, narrowly missing Weird Joykill and exploding a small sandbank utterly. "I'M SORRY!"
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 15, 2012, 08:22:35 pm
Zendikar - Eldrazi (any greenery you see is trees, not grass)
Innistrad - Avacyn (indestructible angel) and Sorin Markov (Vampire Planeswalker)
Look them up here: www.wizardscupboard.com (use quickfind)
Post by: Kofthefens on May 15, 2012, 08:40:30 pm
Kofthefens batters Dalek 492!
Kofthefens has paralyzed Dalek 816!
Dalek 526 has been scared to death by Kofthefens!
Being a sadistic ghost is pretty cool. Gizogin, I think I'll hold off on a mechanized body until this madness is over or you come out with a new version.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 15, 2012, 08:44:15 pm
Edit: three minutes remaining for votes...
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 15, 2012, 08:55:51 pm
The torches dim, and frost starts forming on the ceiling.
Spells and plasma bolts gutter out of existence.
The world starts moving as if underwater.
As long as the chant continues, then magic nor higher technology is functional.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 15, 2012, 08:57:22 pm
Post by: Corai on May 15, 2012, 08:58:03 pm
SOMEONE CRACK THIS DOME! I CANT BREATH VERY WELL!
Why cant I ever get in the big stuff so I can do the real long posts? -OOC
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 15, 2012, 09:00:58 pm
Edit: Wow, we have made it over 200 pages!
Post by: WillowLuman on May 15, 2012, 09:08:17 pm
I start babbling backwards in strange tongues, an appeal to the darker powers, heedless of the dangers around me.
The torches dim, and frost starts forming on the ceiling.
Spells and plasma bolts gutter out of existence.
The world starts moving as if underwater.
As long as the chant continues, then magic nor higher technology is functional.
Shame about those Xenomorphs and creepers, then.
Post by: wierd on May 15, 2012, 09:14:53 pm
Weird joykill didn't care, just as long as plumpy didn't become yet another statistic in this insanity. When he got his hands on hugo, the laughing tincan was gonna have his head pop off like a jack in the box. Nothing short of it would be in any way satisfying. Popping head. End of story.
After nearly being vaporized by corai...a few times.... (they couldn't have *all* been accidental either...) the kobold seemed to have a limited grasp of the controls. With the shell compromised, they decided to turn the forcefield generator on, even though the feild ate a huge amount of power. With all the ollifex goop splattered all over, you just couldn't be too careful.
Sadly, corai's grasp of the "flight mode" was a little less than spectacular. He refused to try again after shooting straight up like a rocket and impacting into the ceiling. Well, at least if he avoided stairs he would be fine.... maybe....
closing the hole up the SPHM created I his "Oh Yeah!" Hysterionical entrance performance, Joykill finally took a moment to let the adrenaline slack off. His knees felt like jello.
Loud stomping, roaring laughter, and deep baritone taunting came from outside the fortress, but weird didn't care.
Shambling more than walking to the scene of the OK Corall part II just outside the dining hall, curls of orange cloud still creeping out from behind the slightly ajar doors from between the crumbled bits of rubble.
The engravers would be more than pissed.
...if they were still alive....
Once these stupid trashcans were up, and corai's gang of goons stuck in em, he would go do an emergency census to see who was still alive. The last thing they needed right now was a bunch of killer ghosts on the loose from improperly memorialized dwarves.
One thing at a time....
Corai's tank sat idly in the hall, facing the stairwell.
He sat on the floor, next to the wall, fiddling with a dalek casing. One thing the suit was not designed for was comfort. Rubber and glass don't breathe very well, and he had been doing gymnastics (or as close to as possible) in the thing. He was hot. And sweaty. And his back itched. He removed his headgear to get some ventilation, and to breathe free of the filter mask.
If these daleks came with an instruction manual, it surely wasn't in trilingual french, spanish, english format, that was for sure. Jabbing a black button inside the exposed control panel on the half demolished unit he was handling, he received a pretty intense shock as the forceshield came on, and the autorepair sequence activated.
"Ok... don't push the black button..." he said to himself, as corai's red eyed turret swung around 18o degrees.
"Nobody's in it." Joykill said. "It's empty."
"DON'T PUSH SCARY BUTTONS!" Corai chittered in retort. "BUTTONS are SHOCKY!"
Shaking the sting out of his now half-numb arm, he was apt to agree. At least it wasn't the auto destruct.
On the plus side... this shell didn't look damaged at all now.
He dug around for something to pry it open with.
Then corai's tank hit the ground, and he started yelling. A muffled sound from inside, since the combox had gone down too.
"Push the black button,... second from the left... on the bottom row!"
The yelling stopped a moment, then a shrill shriek came from inside the advanced special weapons tank, as the shocking started.
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU JOYKILL!" Was the only intelligible thing he could make out, but in a few seconds, the damaged casing sealed up, the eyestalk lit up again, and the tank resumed its low hovering.
Moments later, the tank wheeled around, and 2 heavy weapons barrels were aimed right at his head.
"I surrender!"
Post by: Corai on May 15, 2012, 09:20:40 pm
"Im safe!" he mumbled, noticing the lack of daleks talking.
"Oh damn, tech is not working.", Corai began to curl up and stare, he had no form of fighting skill unless techology was involved. But atleast Weird Joykill's card up the sleeve was down as well...
Post by: Saurinae on May 15, 2012, 09:21:44 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 15, 2012, 09:31:53 pm
All are sitting inside, Clock Hugo and the abominable spawn of Gbaneg are outside. It's about time for a breather from them at least.
Post by: wierd on May 15, 2012, 09:33:11 pm
"I think god hates me."
He groaned.
"Well. It was fun while it lasted. Back to plan A.... but first, I gotta get the pipsqueak out of that tincan..."
Hunting in the rubble, the dwarf that had been happy to meet him earlier just as he died stared lifelessly up at the tiles above him, white glaze gelling on the corneas of his eyes. It was a pitiful sight to see, it haunted him. But the dwarf had something he needed. Prying the adamantine axe from his cold, riggor-mortis afflicted grasp, weird claimed the wonderously light wondermetal axe, and cursed himself for not making his hazard suit out of it. The thing was insanely light, and easy to swing. Even corai could............
"One thing at a time..." he murmured.
"GET ME OUT,OF THIS THING, YOU SADIST!" Shouted corai from his black metal prison.
"Just a minute, god damn!" Weird retorted angrily.
The little shit wasn't walking around in 150lbs of crap.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 15, 2012, 09:42:35 pm
I wonder what KodKod would have to say about all this?
Post by: Corai on May 15, 2012, 09:45:39 pm
Thats what I bet she would say, so much evil and sadism.
Post by: Kofthefens on May 15, 2012, 10:30:52 pm
There are still creepers and Xenomorphs prowling around the lower fortress, trying to find their way up. .
Most of them were taken out by my cats. Anyway:
Kofthefens batters a Dalek!
Kofthefens scares a Dalek to death!
Kofthefens batters another Dalek!
Post by: Saurinae on May 15, 2012, 10:43:31 pm
SUCH CREATURES CANNOT EXIST. Flying metal creatures that spew fire. Impossible, just impossible
*Starts an engraving muttering can't exist such things can't...*
Post by: WillowLuman on May 15, 2012, 11:20:18 pm
It should take about half an hour for the Xenos to make it up this far, so be prepared; SPHM warned about them.
MrHappyFace, how long does this anti-magic, anti-electricity field last?
Post by: Kofthefens on May 15, 2012, 11:23:59 pm
Meanwhile, Kofthefens continue to scare, batter, and paralyze daleks
Post by: Oliolli on May 15, 2012, 11:25:15 pm
--
In the end Oliolli understood he had simply mined an entirely new passage to an entirely new adamantine spire. It should be relatively safe to mine this spire out, as hell was already open.
--
Several minutes of mining later Oliolli was standing at the edge of an eerie glowing pit. If his sense of direction was still functional, he was also close to the edge of the area, so he didn't even try to move to his left. Very little movement could be seen, just the way Oliolli had hoped. Pick in hand, he started moving towards the massive pile of skeletons under a spire, the site of wierd joykill's heroic sacrifice. These skeletons will be put to good use once again. he thought, and was soon startled by a voice speaking behind him. "You. Took. My. Spot. In. The. Fortress. I was not finished yet. I was still of use. And you had to ruin things for me. You and all the others simply decided that I was of no use anymore. So what did you do? You killed me. You destroyed me. Simple as that. But I'm not mad. I found a new employer. Either way, this thing was put to use for me, as it was always meant to." Oliolli spun around and was shocked by what he saw: An odd contraption, somewhat resembling gizogin's clockwork body, only much more advanced. The voice it was speaking with was very familiar. "Clockwork Luman will reward me handsomely for destroying you." Clockwork Oliolli said.
OOC: Anyone got some good boss music?
Post by: WillowLuman on May 15, 2012, 11:44:46 pm
or
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3aEQuxQEOw
I think we'll save this for a later fight where it will be more appropriate:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tr89EG6cqPQ
A confused group of Olm men suddenly ran into the hospital, looking very frightened. They began speaking in broken language. "We run into carve-cave, not to fight! No kill us! We not fight! There bad things in big caves, coming this way! Many Demons come, but strange thing kill many. Big black things kill many of us though, and green things go boom! We stay with you? Many dying, what going on!?"
Post by: Reudh on May 16, 2012, 07:21:19 am
Ape Manwonders, the Ant Man Spearmaster was fighting to protect her brood.
Growling in a low voice, she struggled desperately with a demon made of ash.
"You... no.... take... queen! You... no... hurt... ant... people!"
The demon roared and swiped at her, ripping off another of her arms. Thankfully, as an antman, she still had two to spare.
Ignoring the pain, Ape leapt in with her fungiwood spear, and gouged the demon in the face. Even as the demon collapsed into incoherent piles of ash, her spear caught alight and badly burnt her face and hand.
"Ah! I... not know how much longer I can hold...!" she cried back to her family.
Then, horrors, a flame devil sidled jauntily into view. It blew air at her, which though Ape couldn't see, was probably bad.
Ape ducked behind a tower-cap, which started to slowly char and burn as the superhot air flowed and swirled around her.
The heat was awful. Ape could feel pressure and heat building in her exoskeleton... Pressure that was dangerously high.
Much hotter, and her exoskeleton could crack, critically injuring her. So long as Ape still had fight in her, she would fight.
It's what soldiers do to protect the colony, is it not?
Watching her brood terrified spurred her on.
Ape came out from behind the smoking tower-cap. The flame devil smiled, and prepared to breath more hot fumes at her.
Ape's exoskeleton started to crack and sizzle. The heat was intense.
Charging toward the flame devil, mandibles clicking, remaining arms ready, she leapt at it, knocking it off the cliff, where it collapsed into wildfires. Ape fell to her knees in relief...
"Dark kill things... not harm... antmen... Family... seal off wall..."
Her vision blacking out, the last sight Ape saw was her family studiously packing mud bricks into place, with the efficiency only ants have.
And with a sigh, she lay down and died.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 08:37:08 am
Zanzetkuken did not know why they transferred their essence into cards when they died, all he knew was that he gained more power each time. He had collected nearly sixty cards by this point, but he needed three more. And he knew which ones they would be. The ultimate Eldrazi. He origionally avoided them, but now he was going after them. The power contained would be enough to stop clockwork hugo no matter what he did. After that, however, he would seal the cards in obsidian, for none should command the power he would be able to use. They would not be destroyed, just encased, in case they were ever needed again. ZTG then heard some thing be hind him, something that snuck up on him while he was thinking. He whurled around, and was face to face with a clockwork version of himself. Clockwork him transformed into a dragon, and the regular ZTG summoned the Artisan of Kozilek. The clockwork was suprised by the power released by his regular self, but only for an instant, because the clockwork was soon destroyed. ZTG worried what this might mean, as he returned the eldrazi to card form, and decided to increase the speed to capturing the Ultimate Eldrazi.
None in the Twelfth Bay knew what had happened, except for one person who orchestrated the cats who controlled Clockwork Hugo. That person decided to not share that knowledge with the cats and, indirectly, Clockwork Hugo.
As you can see, I think that everyone should be attacked by their clockwork selves, but that is up to you.
Do you think that a ruler of the cats is too far-fetched?
Just for you information
Eldrazi captured:
Ulamog's Crusher
Emrakrul's hatcher
Artisan of Kozilek
Pathrazer of Ulamog
Hand of Emrakrul
Ulamog's Crusher
Spawnsire of Ulamog
All is Dust
It that Betrays
Now, to capture the three ultimates:
Ulamog, the infinite gyres
Kozilek, the butcher of truth
Emrakrul, the aeons torn
I don't care what you say, I can use their power to break the time-lock, somehow. These are the most powerful things that have existed! They naturally LIVE in the blind eternities!
Post by: Gizogin on May 16, 2012, 02:24:59 pm
I can't allow this, this thief to keep stealing my designs. I'll need to find out who it is, but until then, I'll just work under the utmost secrecy. From this point on, I shall no longer offer my clockworks to anyone, effective until such a time as my designs cease being copied.
Oh, and I've also been working on some time-travel stuff. Mostly just as a hobby, but I'm interested to see what applications it'll have.
-----
A few other notes:
No magic or electricity? I'm going to assume that doesn't apply to clockwork, just because there's always a loophole.
Obviously, I am aware of who is making these clockwork people, or at least I will be soon enough. I know my own designs well enough to know who else would be able to imitate them.
Why is there a squad of Olm men in my hospital? I have space and provisions enough for them, but they're making an awful racket. I'm tempted to dust off the old magma-rinse lever...
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 02:50:19 pm
Oh, come on! Who's the one who keeps ripping off my designs? Clockwork Oliolli even has the same insignia I always put on my automata! At the very least, whoever's making these copies could try to make them look original...
I can't allow this, this thief to keep stealing my designs. I'll need to find out who it is, but until then, I'll just work under the utmost secrecy. From this point on, I shall no longer offer my clockworks to anyone, effective until such a time as my designs cease being copied.
Oh, and I've also been working on some time-travel stuff. Mostly just as a hobby, but I'm interested to see what applications it'll have.
-----
A few other notes:
No magic or electricity? I'm going to assume that doesn't apply to clockwork, just because there's always a loophole.
Obviously, I am aware of who is making these clockwork people, or at least I will be soon enough. I know my own designs well enough to know who else would be able to imitate them.
Why is there a squad of Olm men in my hospital? I have space and provisions enough for them, but they're making an awful racket. I'm tempted to dust off the old magma-rinse lever...
Don't! Listen to what they are saying! I sounds like a forgotten beast is in the fort!
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 02:57:01 pm
Zanzetkuken began to prepare for the return to his realm, and the breach of the Twelfth Bay realm. He didn't expect the locals to topple Emrakrul, but they managed to. He grabbed the card that was formed, and used Emrakrul to defeat the other two Eldrazi. The power that is now within him is almost replenished to prepurge levels. He jumped through the gateway, and while returning to his realm, his mind shot back to the Clockwork version of him. Who had built it? Who sent it? How did it get through the Time-Lock? And most importantly, how did that person know where he was? He pondered these thoughts as he arrived in his throne room. He bypassed the throne, and entered his own lab. Whoever it is will be defeated, thought ZTG...
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 16, 2012, 03:07:36 pm
But that wasn't the main problem. Magic begins to flow and motors begin to hum as I try to regain my footing.
Daleks begin to power up and spells start to illuminate the dark. I resume the incantation, but it comes out in stuttered bursts, causing energies to fluctuate wildly. I watch a dalek power on, and then explode from excess energy in its power core while an impressive fireball cast from a demon turns to a candle flame. Power is no longer consistent. Even a magic missile, at this point, could either level a mountain or not even wound a fly.
"Crap."
I jump down a well to escape the ensuing flurry.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 03:17:07 pm
The influx of subterranean animal people bowl me over, and for a moment, my chant is interrupted. The foolish, dumb beasts were trying to escape a rather large demon made of flame and resembling a bat and in doing so, didn' realize that it damned us all.
But that wasn't the main problem. Magic begins to flow and motors begin to hum as I try to regain my footing.
Daleks begin to power up and spells start to illuminate the dark. I resume the incantation, but it comes out in stuttered bursts, causing energies to fluctuate wildly. I watch a dalek power on, and then explode from excess energy in its power core while an impressive fireball cast from a demon turns to a candle flame. Power is no longer consistent. Even a magic missile, at this point, could either level a mountain or not even wound a fly.
"Crap."
I jump down a well to escape the ensuing flurry.
I hope this doesn't screw up the Eldrazi... They might destroy the entire realm with one attack... And my character doesn't know it will happen... Carp...
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 03:43:20 pm
Giant olm men in the hospital chillin with plumpy...
Gizogin had managed to show up in the hospital, as if summoned by the sound of wounded... but he was less enthused by the patients than weird was.
The good doctor was irate. It seemed somebody had been ripping off his clockwork bodies like they were going out of style. Joykill managed to convince him that he had never seen his designs well enough to even attempt a copy, let alone improve them. Gizogin looked at the totally dwarf powered hazard suit weird was wearing, and reluctantly nodded.
A few minutes later, weird was back at work, re-equiping the old reaction tank and piledriver assembly. These were pure chemistry and hard physics. No electricity was involved.
Angry beating and scratching noises came from corai's tank, while a somewhat less disheveled looking "plumpy", and a gang olf olm men pried it open. Of course, corai promptly wilted like a cartoon flower at the sight of so many giant olm men, up close, and in his face when they finally succeeded in popping the cork on that nasty little bottle.
The olm men seemed genuinely disturbed to be inside the fortress, as if looking for where the giant spinning discs would jump out of the walls. It took some convincing to explain to them that we don't make a habbit of making puree out of our sick and wounded, and that the hospital wast trapped that way.... he felt it prudent not to mention the magma contaminant cleansing system though.
They kept babbling almost incoherently about some rampaging monster in the abyss below.
Weird was tired, hot, sweaty, and trying to do delicate work with hands that didn't want to move anymore from exhaustion. With an angry wave, he motioned up the hall and outside.
"Look outside, and keep complaining about monsters." He said. The olm men caught sight of the morbidly huge bodies, seeping blue filth, and cluttering the atrium of the fortress' grand entry, and huddled together. Deep baritone taunting from outside further set the hook on their newfound respect for silence.
Cleaning out the reaction tank with care using water from the hospital well, and dumping the corrosive contents amidst the dead bodies, he decided to try to bolster their defenses, despite the vulgarity of raising sentient dead.
Making the gesture, nothing happened. He tried again. Nada.
Maybe he was just too tired to do it right.
Letting out a loud sigh, the olm men peering at him with horror and interest mixed on their ugly faces, he resigned himself to re-gearing for chemical warfare.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 03:56:13 pm
Due to the instability of magic in your realm, some would most likely die when I finally do come. ex. dragons falling from sky, slayers collapsing randomly due to magic augmentations, ect.
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 04:23:09 pm
Flip a coin, then write accordingly.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 04:32:58 pm
.....that's fine, my character's necromancy might raise every single dead creature, including insects, for miles around too.
Flip a coin, then write accordingly.
I need to get there first, however.
Edit: or you could roll a die according to RtD
Post by: Kofthefens on May 16, 2012, 05:02:23 pm
The dalek shoots an energy beam, but Kofthefens leaps away!
"What? I thought they were all powered off!"
Kofthefens searches out and paralyzes and scares many of the special weapons daleks, knowing that they are the biggest danger.
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 05:31:44 pm
.....that's fine, my character's necromancy might raise every single dead creature, including insects, for miles around too.
Flip a coin, then write accordingly.
I need to get there first, however.
Edit: or you could roll a die according to RtD
Don't have dice, but I do have a sequestered deck of cards in my desk....
Clever simulation of a diceroll: poker deck goes from ace to king, with 2 jokers. That's equivalent, more or less to throwing 2 D6. Ace=1, king =13. Joker = natural top roll.
A card will be removed from the deck. If it is higher than 5 (6 or better), it is considered a "success", intensity of effect determined by value. 6=barely cast. (1 or 2 zombies, low power) king = super cast. (All zombies in sight, regardless of difficulty, raised.) Joker = "biblical undead apocolypse".
Once played, it is randomly reinserted into the deck to maintain drawing odds.
Sound good, or should I make it more conservative?
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 05:33:23 pm
Unknown to Zanzetkuken, the super plump helmet man received this message, and began searching for Weird in order to tell him the message...
.....that's fine, my character's necromancy might raise every single dead creature, including insects, for miles around too.
Flip a coin, then write accordingly.
I need to get there first, however.
Edit: or you could roll a die according to RtD
Don't have dice, but I do have a sequestered deck of cards in my desk....
Clever simulation of a diceroll: poker deck goes from ace to king, with 2 jokers. That's equivalent, more or less to throwing 2 D6. Ace=1, king =13. Joker = natural top roll.
A card will be removed from the deck. If it is higher than 5 (6 or better), it is considered a "success", intensity of effect determined by value. 6=barely cast. (1 or 2 zombies, low power) king = super cast. (All zombies in sight, regardless of difficulty, raised.) Joker = "biblical undead apocolypse".
Once played, it is randomly reinserted into the deck to maintain drawing odds.
Sound good, or should I make it more conservative?
CHANGE it! four or less is success, 5-6 is neutral, seven or higher is failure. Will lead to !!FUN!!
For your information, RtD 6d is:
1-complete success, 2-some success, 3-neutral, 4-some failure, 5-complete failure, 6-random event
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 05:43:01 pm
I could remove one of the jokers if you want it more difficult to draw.
Ace happens 4 times in the deck. It has twice the chance of being drawn as joker. As such, it should not be the apocolyptic event card.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 05:45:53 pm
Don't forget about this:
After an undisclosed period of time, and frustrated by the inactivity on the other side, Zanzetkuken sent a message mentally through the time-lock. It was "Whoever receives this message, speak to Weird Joykill about the time-lock. Tell him, that if it is shut down, armies will come to assist the Twelfth Bay."
Unknown to Zanzetkuken, the super plump helmet man received this message, and began searching for Weird in order to tell him the message...
Edit: to do a random event, say two events, assign one to heads, and one to tails, then flip the coin.
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 05:53:27 pm
A-2, complete success, 3-4, partial success, 5-6, neutral, 7-8, some failure, 9-10, total failure, J-Q, random event, K-Jk, "what." (Think, ollifex suddenly wears pink tutu type 'what.')
Where "partial failure" is "1 or 2 zombies raise, but are dumber than a tub of mayo, and just stumble around, and can't be controlled."
And
"Complete failure" is "all corpses in sight raise, but are hostile!"
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 05:59:40 pm
Ok, since a single card is approx 2D6, (not a single die roll) I will double your values.That works even better than what we were discussing.
A-2, complete success, 3-4, partial success, 5-6, neutral, 7-8, some failure, 9-10, total failure, J-Q, random event, K-Jk, "what." (Think, ollifex suddenly wears pink tutu type 'what.')
I'll be using twelve six-sided dice. Adding the dice totals, then averaging. I have over 50 different values. It will not be rounded at all, so I will approximate the success value that I get.
Edit: Test roll gives me a 3.58333333..., so I have partial failure, if I was making a post.
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 06:11:26 pm
Concentrating on a single corpse... the dwarf with the adamantine axe that had been so happy to see him earlier as he died, weird joykill focused, concentrated, and jestured for all he was worth. At first he didn't think it had worked. His head was literally throbbing now, a big vein pulsing at the side of his temple, and stars danced across his vision.
Then, as though reacting to his own fatigue, the corpse rose, thrusting a bloody fist out of the rubble, followed by an adamantine axe held in the other.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 06:20:20 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 06:46:11 pm
A dwarven scout ran into the hospital. "We've got about 5 minutes before the creatures get here!" she yelled. "Looking down that hole in the stairwell, I saw more of those explodey green things, some big black nasty hunter looking things, and a several demons!"
The 14th Dalek patrol was receiving a broadcast from the Supreme Dalek during one of the intermittent power surges. "AN ECTOPLASMIC ENTITY IS DETECTED ATTACKING DALEKS NEAR THIS AREA, PRIORITY IS TO CONTAIN! SWITCH TO PHOTON BEAMS TO RENDER IT INERT!"
"WE OBEY!"
The squad's SW Dalek deployed a small floating box with a heavy metal lid and a faint glow coming from within. "DALEKS WILL EXTERMINATE GHOSTS!" The dalek that said this then combusted due to a power surge. "OBSTACLES WILL NOT DELAY THE DALEK PURPOSE!"
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 06:50:01 pm
He sat down on the stone floor, wishing more of the coolness would soak through the suit. He would need a bath, and the suit would need aggressive cleaning when this was all over. For the time being, the calm before the storm, and the cold stone floor would have to do.
Jolting off of his stone bench in the infirmary, spilling his bucket of well water over in the process, plumpy acted like had just been bitten by a giant mosquito, or stung by a bee.
Weird didn't really care. Who knew how a giant fungus managed to think, let alone be sentient, considering the complete lack of a nervous system. A few quirks and oddities were likely to be expected from such exotic sentience.
Well, he didn't care, until plumpy waddled over, his disturbingly phallic shaped head dropping off bits of charred cruft as new myconoid tissue grew underneath as it bobbed into view.
"What do you want plumpy?" He asked, rubbing his forhead earnestly. He felt like a nosebleed was coming on. He hadn't had those since he was a very little kid. God, that seemed so long ago now.
"I... well.... we.... uhm."
"Out with it plumpy, I'm a busy man. I still have to re-rig the flaps on the reagent vials."
The plump helmet man scowled.
"We have to drop the barrier." He said flatly.
"Barrier? What barrier?!" Joykill scoffed back. "If you mean the rubble in the doorway, you need your fungus examined, because that's fucking stupid!"
The scowl on the plump helmet's disturbingly cute face was a twisted caricature of anger mixed with permanent joy.
"The... .. the timelock, whatever the hell that is!" Plumpy shouted, purple rushing into his stem.
"Timelock? Why would we be under a timelock?"
"I don't know! I just know I was resting in the infirmary, and a really loud roaring voice demanded that I tell you to breach the timelock. I don't know what a timelock is, why we would have one, what one does, or why I was told to tell you, but I did. Jeeze!"
Memories of clockwork hugo's cagetrap monstrosity in the vents above the dining hall came to mind. Getting in there would be a real trick, given that the door was blocked with rubble, swung *IN*, and was bowed OUT from the collapse. Those doors would be more likely to crumble than swing after what they had been through. On top of that, there was the deadly gas he has jettisoned in there about an hour earlier. There wasn't nearly enough metal in there to bind with all the chlorine and hydrocyanate he had filled that room with. The vents would be choked with deadly corrosive gas. That assuming hugo hadn't moved the damn thing, or that he could even get in.
"Thanks plumpy." Weird said. "Go back and rest a bit more. Hell's coming to breakfast. Let's try not to be the main course."
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 07:03:14 pm
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 07:15:31 pm
Spoiler: off topic, assistance required from Gizogin (click to show/hide)
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 07:21:02 pm
"Friend, or foe!?" Balked the dwarf, axe raised.
weird let out an exasperated sigh. Then again, with all that was going on, it was actually a pretty poingant question.
"If you've been opening tincans, mushing acid spewing ugly plant things, making monsters bleed blue, playing chess with the HFS, and making blobs of black puke know the meaning of pain..... friend. Otherwise, foe."
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 07:22:01 pm
The Supreme Dalek broadcasted out. "Reinforcements from the Great One are here! All units converge on the medical area!"
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 07:25:58 pm
And are they just bypassing SPHM and the GOMs?
Room is 1/3 unburried when you arrived.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 07:29:43 pm
By the Great One, are you refering to clockwork you or someone else? (not me of course)The fortress is honeycombed with corridors, so a relatively small detatchment of the Horde came through the particular hallway you were digging out of the reach the dining room.
And are they just bypassing SPHM and the GOMs?
Room is 1/3 was unburried when you arrived
CW Hugo is the great one, for resurrecting them from the void. The Xenos and HFS demons are the reinforcements. Not that many demons though, as most died in the first purge of Hell.
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 07:33:34 pm
They consider all life besides themselves to be unworthy of life, and a pestilence that must be purged. As such, daleks would never refer to clockwork hugo as the great one. The dalek emperor holds that unique priviledge. Even davros is not called the great one, and he created the damn things.
No. More likely, they smashed through on their own as a result of the dimension getting bust across the chops by hugo's experiment, and being a convenient place to replenish their numbers.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 07:35:42 pm
By the Great One, are you refering to clockwork you or someone else? (not me of course)The fortress is honeycombed with corridors, so a relatively small detatchment of the Horde came through the particular hallway you were digging out of the reach the dining room.
And are they just bypassing SPHM and the GOMs?
Room is 1/3 was unburried when you arrived
CW Hugo is the great one, for resurrecting them from the void. The Xenos and HFS demons are the reinforcements. Not that many demons though, as most died in the first purge of Hell.
Ah, ok.
Rolls a 3.5
The skirmish did not go quite as planned, and 12 of the 20 giant olm men were killed. All of the Daleks were dead, however, and they were unable to broadcast an alert over their radios. The giant olms dug at a slower rate than before, but still made progress.
1/2 of the dining room is unburried!
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 07:37:17 pm
Just though of something; Weird, if you kill any Xeno's their blood might make good amunition for that chemical douser.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 07:41:00 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 07:45:35 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 07:47:21 pm
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 07:49:16 pm
Reinforcements come! 30 Giant Olm men.
And I don't see why you are coming after me. Weird is the one trying to shut down your machine.
99/100 of the dining hall is unburied!(they work fast.)
BTW, that crystal might be trapped; it could be dangerous to send an army in through without first taking down the overall barrier. Come yourself, and then see if you can clear the way for your army.
The Giant Olm men and Super Plump helmet man are clearing the barrier.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 07:53:25 pm
Wonder what's happening with that Oliolli duel?
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 07:57:28 pm
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 07:58:50 pm
It was this by the way:
[Card= A of hearts]
He sat down on the stone floor, wishing more of the coolness would soak through the suit. He would need a bath, and the suit would need aggressive cleaning when this was all over. For the time being, the calm before the storm, and the cold stone floor would have to do.
Jolting off of his stone bench in the infirmary, spilling his bucket of well water over in the process, plumpy acted like had just been bitten by a giant mosquito, or stung by a bee.
Weird didn't really care. Who knew how a giant fungus managed to think, let alone be sentient, considering the complete lack of a nervous system. A few quirks and oddities were likely to be expected from such exotic sentience.
Well, he didn't care, until plumpy waddled over, his disturbingly phallic shaped head dropping off bits of charred cruft as new myconoid tissue grew underneath as it bobbed into view.
"What do you want plumpy?" He asked, rubbing his forhead earnestly. He felt like a nosebleed was coming on. He hadn't had those since he was a very little kid. God, that seemed so long ago now.
"I... well.... we.... uhm."
"Out with it plumpy, I'm a busy man. I still have to re-rig the flaps on the reagent vials."
The plump helmet man scowled.
"We have to drop the barrier." He said flatly.
"Barrier? What barrier?!" Joykill scoffed back. "If you mean the rubble in the doorway, you need your fungus examined, because that's fucking stupid!"
The scowl on the plump helmet's disturbingly cute face was a twisted caricature of anger mixed with permanent joy.
"The... .. the timelock, whatever the hell that is!" Plumpy shouted, purple rushing into his stem.
"Timelock? Why would we be under a timelock?"
"I don't know! I just know I was resting in the infirmary, and a really loud roaring voice demanded that I tell you to breach the timelock. I don't know what a timelock is, why we would have one, what one does, or why I was told to tell you, but I did. Jeeze!"
Memories of clockwork hugo's cagetrap monstrosity in the vents above the dining hall came to mind. Getting in there would be a real trick, given that the door was blocked with rubble, swung *IN*, and was bowed OUT from the collapse. Those doors would be more likely to crumble than swing after what they had been through. On top of that, there was the deadly gas he has jettisoned in there about an hour earlier. There wasn't nearly enough metal in there to bind with all the chlorine and hydrocyanate he had filled that room with. The vents would be choked with deadly corrosive gas. That assuming hugo hadn't moved the damn thing, or that he could even get in.
"Thanks plumpy." Weird said. "Go back and rest a bit more. Hell's coming to breakfast. Let's try not to be the main course."
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 08:00:38 pm
"If you were trapped in this crazy place, with nothing between you and things that defy rational explanation besides the bodies of your friends, would you raise them up to kill their killers if you could?"
"Good point lad!" The dwarf shouted. "Any chance o' raisin a fe' mo're? Thing's a gettin hairier an my wife's back o'r 'ere!"
[Card = 6 clubs]
Weird straightened, and faced the corpses, and as formally as possible, made the invocational gesture. Not a damn thing happened.
"I tought ye said ye could raise te dead!?" Shouted the dwarf, bouncing a dalek energy pulse off his axe and into a charging shoggoth.
"I CAN!" Shouted weird, "But something's been screwing with the magic or something!"
"Try again!" Yelled the dwarf, slicing into a green abomination, red nitric acid spilling onto the floor in a hiss.
Weird grimmaced....
[Card = king of spades!]
Again directing his attention at the corpse pile, and performing the ritual, there is a sudden peal of sound, and suddenly daleks become marshmallows shooting chocolate syrup, the acid spraying plants become singing daisies, the shoggoth become animated vanilla flan with caramel, and the demons turn into clones of hello kitty.
"What teh ' ell did you DO lad!?"
"Hell if I know! I told you, somethings screwing with the magic, but I've never seen anything like this before!"
"'Te hell are tese thin's lad!? They're worse an before! Dey won' shu' up!"
"You want me to try again?"
"Nae!"
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 08:02:35 pm
Don't forget about breaking the time-lock, weird!
100% of the dining room is unburied!
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 08:03:05 pm
HugoLuman sat straight up in his hospital bed, and screamed, then fell back down again, blood dripping from his nostrils. Suddenly, Corai found a loaded Uzi in his hand.
Shoggoth is still in the caverns, slowly on it's way up. And what's more: the 5 troll husks are no longer in hiding.
Post by: Eric Blank on May 16, 2012, 08:08:12 pm
Sections of the fort that are under hostile control are being collapsed, enemy forces are beginning to be bottlenecked into tight corridors. If you need something, tell the kobolds in the vents. Some of them are part of the mining team and can clear rubble rather skillfully. The main stockpiles (kobold palace), main entrance, magma forges, and lower residences and all empty workshop and residence areas have been collapsed and are off-limits. Enemies in staging area in stockpiles presumed dead. Cavern access denied for what a single wall of rock is worth.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 08:10:08 pm
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 08:24:07 pm
Roll:2 (I changed the system to whatever I rolled the most. Around three was the only thing I was getting when averaging.)
The colossus turned to Steel, and the Artisan of Kozilek
Each of the Eldrazi are the size of a mountain, so good luck!
Note: it was partial because the colossus was only turned to steel, and I wanted to summon the Ultimates instead!
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 16, 2012, 08:26:01 pm
Chocolate and cats and dwarves were all engaged in a bizarre brawl amongst the battlecries and dubstep. Apparently, his incantations have PERMANENTLY mutated the flow of magic and energy in the area.
"Whatever," he sighed, as he ran out through the backdoor of the hospital. Rushing past burning dwarves and shrieking demons, he started towards the entrance of the dwarven metro. Hopefully, the collapses and invaders haven't destroyed the rails.
He only went about half a mile before seeing the huge, incandescent dome of the time-lock blocking his path. But he smiled, for as he watched, large cracks started appearing upon it. It would soon break, and he would be half way across the world before the defenses behind him fell.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 08:29:02 pm
Artisan of Kozilek: http://www.wizardscupboard.com/artisan-of-kozilek-p-26798.html
For this, colored permanents are those summoned by planeswalkers. None have been summoned yet.
Edit: All is Dust wasn't used!
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 08:31:07 pm
Suddenly, a roar, like that of an object breaking the sound barrier, shot through the fortress. An arc of lightning shot out of the crystal, killing all the enemies in the room. A void opened up in front of the crystal, and Zanzetkuken the Great, aged a dozen years came stepped through with four dragons.(They were a part of the merchant caravan that visited the fort previously)He was dressed in pale-white body armor up to his neck, built in the fashion of the samurai. His shoulder plates were bone white, and in the shape of a dragon skull. From the skulls draped a pitch black cape that looked akin to a black hole. Upon his head was a pale-white helm that covered his face, and had two had a dragon in gold going over the top and back of the helm. From his waist were two adamantine broadswords, with dragonbane arrows on his back, crossed with an elven bow. "Where is the time-lock device?" he said. "I do not know, high emperor," said the super plump helmet man. "But weird may know, but the fort is under attack by a slade colossus." Slightly suprised, Zanzetkuken said, "The colossus will not be a threat for long."
Roll:2 (I changed the system to whatever I rolled the most. Around three was the only thing I was getting when averaging.)
The colossus turned to Steel, and the Artisan of Kozilek, and All is Dust were summoned to face it.
Each of the Eldrazi are the size of a mountain, so good luck!
Note: it was partial because the colossus was only turned to steel, and I wanted to summon the Ultimates instead!
Seems a tad bit OP'd, and would be anticlimactic if they just came and killed all the bad guys. I kinda want to give Corai and Oliolli the chance to add some more input.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 08:32:34 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 08:34:17 pm
Wait, how did The Abomination turn to steel?
Post by: Corai on May 16, 2012, 08:35:41 pm
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 08:37:26 pm
Don't forget about the armies of Dbaneg's spawn outside the fortress, in addition to the baddies inside.
Wait, how did The Abomination turn to steel?
One of the dragons tapped into your magic. That is why I put Roll:2 in there. If you use magic, you must go by 6d Roll to Dodge rules.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 08:37:58 pm
I have NO idea whats going on, so I am waiting until things get less insane. Back to NORMAL levels of insanity.
All you need to know is that you now are armed with a fully loaded uzi.
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 16, 2012, 08:38:41 pm
I have NO idea whats going on, so I am waiting until things get less insane. Back to NORMAL levels of insanity.I see Corai wandering around near the metro station I'm at. He's sitting on a bench and eating a kitten tallow, plump helmet, and syrup roast and drinking dwarven beer out of a +microcline mug+. There's also an uzi slung around his back for some reason.
"Hey, kobold! There's extra room in the cart! Want to ditch this hellhole with me?" I shout out.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 08:39:13 pm
Don't forget about the armies of Dbaneg's spawn outside the fortress, in addition to the baddies inside.
Wait, how did The Abomination turn to steel?
One of the dragons tapped into your magic. That is why I put Roll:2 in there. If you use magic, you must go by 6d Roll to Dodge rules.
except weird, he uses a deck and uses these rules: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=106539.msg3288901#msg3288901
Anyway, how is clockwork Hugo going to fight the Artisan of Kozilek?
Artisan of Kozilek: http://www.wizardscupboard.com/artisan-of-kozilek-p-26798.html
Post by: Corai on May 16, 2012, 08:40:28 pm
Who do I shoot? I wanna shoot! Tell me its Joykill's face! That sadist has to die...
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 08:41:29 pm
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 08:42:17 pm
Snatching up the headgear from its discarded spot on the floor, and engaging the piledriver on the door to smash it open, he was surprised to find most of the rubble packed into the far wall, and to see a posse of dragons smash into being like glass breaking, revealing them with angry intent in their eyes.
"For god's sake, don't use magic!" He shouted. "Its unstable!"
"Get the timelock down!" Was the only reply, but weird wasn't arguing; he was headed that way allready.
Shoving a stone table against the wall under the ruptured air vent, he used it to climb up inside.
Laying there, almost innocent looking, was the source of a great deal of the fortress's problems.
The stange blue distortion that had been there before had dispersed, the wide double doors splaying wide open.
Taking a breath, he jumped inside.....
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 08:42:55 pm
...He was dressed in pale-white body armor up to his neck, built in the fashion of the samurai. His shoulder plates were bone white, and in the shape of a dragon skull. From the skulls draped a pitch black cape that looked akin to a black hole. Upon his head was a pale-white helm that covered his face, and had two had a dragon in gold going over the top and back of the helm. From his waist were two adamantine broadswords, with dragonbane arrows on his back, crossed with an elven bow...
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 08:43:49 pm
Uzi? ALRIGHT!All the creepers, Xenomorphs, and daleks pouring into the hospital room.
Who do I shoot? I wanna shoot! Tell me its Joykill's face! That sadist has to die...
Right now, CW Hugo isn't relying on magic, just pure slade/steel/whatever brute strength.
Post by: Corai on May 16, 2012, 08:44:53 pm
I have NO idea whats going on, so I am waiting until things get less insane. Back to NORMAL levels of insanity.I see Corai wandering around near the metro station I'm at. He's sitting on a bench and eating a kitten tallow, plump helmet, and syrup roast and drinking dwarven beer out of a +microcline mug+. There's also an uzi slung around his back for some reason.
"Hey, kobold! There's extra room in the cart! Want to ditch this hellhole with me?" I shout out.
"I got $400, will that cover it?" the kobold said.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 08:45:25 pm
Uzi? ALRIGHT!All the creepers, Xenomorphs, and daleks pouring into the hospital room.
Who do I shoot? I wanna shoot! Tell me its Joykill's face! That sadist has to die...
Right now, CW Hugo isn't relying on magic, just pure slade/steel/whatever brute strength.
It's steel.
I repeat, how is he going to fight the Artisan. Don't make it happen too quickly. This IS an Eldrazi you are facing.
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 08:45:36 pm
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 08:47:00 pm
(I'm wandering around in an artifact Demon-face trench-coat whose name in english means Cloak of the God-forsaken. So your armor is considered Normally XD)
But it is still awe-inspiring! Especially with dragons following me!
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 08:48:19 pm
The kobold and MrHappyFace looked at the figure in surprise.
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 16, 2012, 08:50:10 pm
"Sure, let's ride!"I have NO idea whats going on, so I am waiting until things get less insane. Back to NORMAL levels of insanity.I see Corai wandering around near the metro station I'm at. He's sitting on a bench and eating a kitten tallow, plump helmet, and syrup roast and drinking dwarven beer out of a +microcline mug+. There's also an uzi slung around his back for some reason.
"Hey, kobold! There's extra room in the cart! Want to ditch this hellhole with me?" I shout out.
"I got $400, will that cover it?" the kobold said.
The kobold throws the wad of cash into my eager hands and leaps, Bo Duke Style into the cart. I disengage the lever, and after reach 88 mph thanks to the masterwork rollers set on fastest speed, we tear through the time-lock.
Fields of green and clear skies of blue meet us, along with crisp sunshine and clean air. We brofist in victory as we look back onto the time locked, burning fort. I raise the flask of sunshine in my pocket to my lips, and drink in joy. The cart keeps going at the same speed, and the fort's ruin turns to a small speck.
Unknowingly, the ghostly figured occupied the backseat of the cart, plotting and scheming.
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 08:52:20 pm
Now we must find a new home until the shit-storm blows over..
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 08:52:54 pm
HugoLuman sighed, and continued. "Of course, the choice is yours. Leave if you will. I see the train is already in motion."
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 08:53:56 pm
"OOWW!" He shouted, laying limp on the floor for a few seconds to determine if anything was broken. Thankfully, just the butt plates of the armor, and his pride.
Drawing near the central control panel of the temporal engine, the translucent visage of the cat snarled and hissed at him, as the intruder alert sounded....
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 08:55:19 pm
IRL nearly dinner time, can't wait to see what's written while I'm gone!
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 08:59:12 pm
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 09:00:14 pm
Not sure if it will work but we have to try..
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 09:04:11 pm
How does a dragon fit in the tiny as hell airvents, and how do mountain sized creatures fit inside the fort?
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 09:04:45 pm
In a flash, every inch of the console was covered in angry white cats, hissing and yowling between sultry utterances of a female voice, alerting of console deactivation in 60 seconds....
The console was crawling with snarling, hissing cats, and packed with more levers and knobs than you could ever easily remember the functions of....
Closing his eyes, and reaching for a lever underneath a glowing display illustrating a golden bubble being projected, he pulled it......
[Oh shit! Card == Joker! Quick, somebody else write the consequence! This is too much!]
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 09:05:39 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on May 16, 2012, 09:05:48 pm
Eric is now abandoning ship. All possible collapses have occured and population is evacuating rapidly. Stoneworkers left sealing off rooms and hallways as they are evacuated. Logically, about 1/3 of them are walling themselves on the wrong side.
Post by: Corai on May 16, 2012, 09:06:20 pm
Dinner time! Quick question though:
How does a dragon fit in the tiny as hell airvents, and how do mountain sized creatures fit inside the fort?
Several kobold-pixies are flying around.
THATS HOW.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 09:06:41 pm
Dinner time! Quick question though:
How does a dragon fit in the tiny as hell airvents, and how do mountain sized creatures fit inside the fort?
I am NOT a dragon!(sadly) I am a human! The Eldrazi was summoned OUTSIDE the fort!
Startled by the sudden alarm, and the screeching cat, he paused only a moment, but it was long enough.
In a flash, every inch of the console was covered in angry white cats, hissing and yowling between sultry utterances of a female voice, alerting of console deactivation in 60 seconds....
The console was crawling with snarling, hissing cats, and packed with more levers and knobs than you could ever easily remember the functions of....
Closing his eyes, and reaching for a lever underneath a glowing display illustrating a golden bubble being projected, he pulled it......
[Oh shit! Card == Joker! Quick, somebody else write the consequence! This is too much!]
The alarm was turned off, and DIBS!
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 09:08:00 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on May 16, 2012, 09:08:17 pm
[Oh shit! Card == Joker! Quick, somebody else write the consequence! This is too much!]
All creepers and xenomorphs detonate catastrophically, causing massive damage to fortress interiors and facilitating more natural cave-ins around the fort. Typical video game "abandon ship" sequence where pipes and shit explode all around the player as they try to escape.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 09:09:00 pm
[Oh shit! Card == Joker! Quick, somebody else write the consequence! This is too much!]
All creepers and xenomorphs detonate catastrophically, causing massive damage to fortress interiors and facilitating more natural cave-ins around the fort. Typical video game "abandon ship" sequence where pipes and shit explode all around the palye as they try to escape.
Hey! I called DIBS!
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 09:09:51 pm
Joker is the rarer, more powerful one. This has to be epically batshit insane.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 09:10:47 pm
King and joker == "what."
Joker is the rarer, more powerful one. This has to be epically batshit insane.
Would mine work, or should I make it more insane?
Post by: Eric Blank on May 16, 2012, 09:11:33 pm
Hey! I called DIBS!
I posted within 15 seconds of you. I recieve bonus for reaction time.
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 09:12:12 pm
(I think everyone might agree with this for the situation)
Blinded by pleasure we long to be free,
Striving towards something we no longer see.
The world is burning, our minds are on fire;
Consumed and consuming in seething desire.
Slaves of sensation is something we've lost,
We've ransomed our passion, heedless the cost.
Promethean gods, we have seized the flames,
But our theft is rewarded with eternal chains.
Blinded by pleasure we long to be free,
Striving towards something we no longer see.
The world is burning, our minds are on fire;
Consumed and consuming in seething desire.
Slaves of sensation is something we've lost,
We've ransomed our passion, heedless the cost.
Promethean gods, we have seized the flames,
But our theft is rewarded with eternal chains.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 09:12:58 pm
That's because three people posted before I could! And I have dial-up!Hey! I called DIBS!
I posted within 15 seconds of you. I recieve bonus for reaction time.
Post by: Eric Blank on May 16, 2012, 09:14:00 pm
After all the creepers expldoe, of course
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 09:15:03 pm
I propose that the entire fortress spontaneously detonate, sending the remaining living organisms into an alternate dimension of a sea of cats, and a fortress-sized portion of this sea of cats back in the fortress' place, which promptly fly apart from the sudden pressure decrease and send !!cat chunks!! everywhere. Literal thermonuclear catsplosion.
After all the creepers expldoe, of course
Add the insanity of everything reversing in size, and it would reach joker insanity!
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 16, 2012, 09:15:29 pm
From the distance, they could see bright flashes and the occasional loud boom from the small speck on the horizon.
"So, what do we do now?" I ask, through a mouthful of kitten tallow roast.
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 09:18:24 pm
More then us made it out?!
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 09:18:50 pm
Post by: Corai on May 16, 2012, 09:20:04 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on May 16, 2012, 09:21:01 pm
*Tath Zagith and Indilwen stumble into the clearing they are having a picnic*
More then us made it out?
About 75% of the civilian population and a large portion of the kobold workforce that wasn't already dead did. And me. I took the second to last minecart. For cinematic effect the one behind mine is hit by a boulder. Luckily it was just some AI-dorf's pet goat, because dorfs love their pets just so :P
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 09:21:15 pm
TIME STOPS
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 09:21:35 pm
I think we lost everything there..
Post by: Corai on May 16, 2012, 09:22:05 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-sH53vXP2A (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-sH53vXP2A)
MINECRAAAAAFT.
I imagine the guards being dwarves, random people being Kobolds/dwarves, and the king being Joykill.
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 16, 2012, 09:22:36 pm
Weird pulls the lever...
TIME STOPS
You pulled the wrong lever weird! I said stop the lock, not strengthen it!
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 09:23:52 pm
*Indilwen starts singing*
Our innocence lost, and our faith destroyed;
Spiraling down into lightless void.
Drunken on dreams and ceaselessly sleeping,
Here in the garden the angels are weeping.
Our innocence lost, and our faith destroyed;
Spiraling down into lightless void.
Drunken on dreams and ceaselessly sleeping,
Here in the garden the angels are weeping.
Post by: Gizogin on May 16, 2012, 09:25:32 pm
It's fortunate that I was in my workshop while all that stuff was going on in the hospital, then. It's even more fortunate that I had just finished the G-Body Mk. VIII when the call to evacuate was made, and that between the Mks. V-VIII and myself, we managed to escape with most of my sketches and notes, as well as my early-stage flux capacitor. Now I'm attempting to regroup with some of the other survivors, while at the same time trying to avoid any attention from whatever unsavory things might have survived.
Ninja'd x11
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 09:26:38 pm
"Corai, I have faith in you. And if you look to your left, you will see you and MrHappyFace are not alone." A kobold, missing a finger, holding an adamantine spear, and wearing white robes under bone armor stepped forth. "All is forgiven, my king," said Deebus.
Post by: Corai on May 16, 2012, 09:28:45 pm
"You know, I have no idea how long we should stay.....'dem creepers gonna catch up..sleep..."
The kobold fell over, passed out.
Post by: Kofthefens on May 16, 2012, 09:30:49 pm
It's even more fortunate that I had just finished the G-Body Mk. VIII
Could I get one of those? Being a ghost, even a sadistic one, gets kinda boring.
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 09:33:12 pm
Then it was quiet..... suddenly, there was a powerful bang, and the whole engine shook. Cats begain to spill into the compartment. So many cats!
Torn between wading to the doors to close them, or throwing another lever, the sultry voice cooed...
"Fifteen seconds until console shutdown...."
Frantic, he pulled another lever...
[OMG! Queen! Catastrophic failure!]
Fire erupted from the console. The cats exploded violently, and fire rushed in through the door!
Panic stricken, he threw another...
[Card = 4 of hearts. Partial success!]
On the green lawn, outside the smoldering ruin of what used to be the fortress and the surrounding environs, the cage trap temporal engine bangs and shudders, torn between the cat dimension of burning hell, and the comparatively safe dwarven one.
Kicking a flaming cat out of the way, joykill scrambles for the door, and barely crosses the threshold before the whole machine backflows into the cat dimension, and explodes in a universe ending conflagration.
Laying on the green grass, next to a smoking black rectangle, itself just a few feet from a blackened and magma filling crater where a whole mountain used to be, little tufts of white cat hair and ashes rain down from above....
Post by: Gizogin on May 16, 2012, 09:35:12 pm
Oh, wait, I probably don't know that the time-lock is down. Also, I'm not really in a position to experiment with stuff, what with all the pieces of fortress raining down around me. Luckily, I think I can see a plain of some kind, perhaps a meadow or a field, out in the distance, beyond the range of the falling debris. If I can just find a bit of shelter until things quiet down a bit, I can make my way over to it.
Post by: Corai on May 16, 2012, 09:36:46 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 09:38:06 pm
At that moment, Dagon and Cthulu emerged from the rift behind it, and Gbaneg's arms touched them. All three began to fuse, melting together until an incomprehensibly vast being stood noticeably taller than the other beings.
The Abomination shook it's unimaginably terrible head and roared. "I SHALL... CONSUME... EVERYTHING!"
also, this is what flashes in front of weird's eyes as he hurtles through the void:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Eric Blank on May 16, 2012, 09:39:23 pm
The mountain is GONE, I think. Everyone inside is too, along with WHATEVER was. Your time-travel machine is probably dead.Unless he built it into the mk viii!
*dur-da-duurrrr*
You have been awarded exactly 47 dwarves and 24 kobolds. Congratulations on surviving a thermonuclear catsplosion. All forumites besides yourselves are dead.
The engine lurched. The lights dimmed. The cats on the console shrieked in insanity..or pain...or both....
Then it was quiet..... suddenly, there was a powerful bang, and the whole engine shook. Cats begain to spill into the compartment. So many cats!
Torn between wading to the doors to close them, or throwing another lever, the sultry voice cooed...
"Fifteen seconds until console shutdown...."
Frantic, he pulled another lever...
[OMG! Queen! Catastrophic failure!]
Fire erupted from the console. The cats exploded violently, and fire rushed in through the door!
Panic stricken, he threw another...
[Card = 4 of hearts. Partial success!]
On the green lawn, outside the smoldering ruin of what used to be the fortress and the surrounding environs, the cage trap temporal engine bangs and shudders, torn between the cat dimension of burning hell, and the comparatively safe dwarven one.
Kicking a flaming cat out of the way, joykill scrambles for the door, and barely crosses the threshold before the whole machine backflows into the cat dimension, and explodes in a universe ending conflagration.
Laying on the green grass, next to a smoking black rectangle, itself just a few feet from a blackened and magma filling crater where a whole mountain used to be, little tufts of white cat hair and ashes rain down from above....
Hah, awesome :P
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 09:41:22 pm
Tath Zagith
Indilwen
Corai
Ghost Hugo
MrHappyFace
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 16, 2012, 09:41:39 pm
And with a loud chorus, everyone took the cry.
"Strike the Earth!"
Or...
We could, you know. Get back into the DeLorean minecart and go 88 mph through the partial time-lock. Maybe save a few people in the process and encounter a sea of booze and magma along the way.
Post by: Corai on May 16, 2012, 09:42:42 pm
Then again, it may be spam...
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 09:43:05 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 09:45:21 pm
"Looks like we've met a terrible fate, haven't we?"
"There is still one hope, however. I hope to Armok someone knows how to play one of these things, and knows what this is."
HugoLuman's astral projection took out a small, blue clay flute, roughly in the shape of an oval.
I kinda want to see a climax to this, 'cause otherwise this a grisly end even for Dwarf Fortress standards
Post by: Corai on May 16, 2012, 09:47:11 pm
The world has passed into the Age of Death
"Looks like we've met a terrible fate, haven't we?"
"There is still one hope, however. I hope to Armok someone knows how to play one of these things, and knows what this is."
HugoLuman's astral projection took out a small, blue clay flute, roughly in the shape of an oval.
You shouldnt had done that.....
Corai went off to find prickle berries, depressed.
Corai has been stricken with temporary melancholy....
Post by: Eric Blank on May 16, 2012, 09:47:51 pm
I demand a new mountain in which to work on my !!architecture!!
If this is it...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mF14wCVbeUk&feature=related
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 09:49:29 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 09:50:52 pm
Well, we have 2 options:
Someone play the song of time for a climactic battle (Nist Akath style)
OR
Generate new world with advanced Parameters
Post by: Corai on May 16, 2012, 09:51:01 pm
(I vote we end this thread for the sheer bad ass way it went down. Lets start a new one and let some new people in)
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 09:52:01 pm
Though I might be a little radioactive now.....
Post by: Eric Blank on May 16, 2012, 09:54:24 pm
I survived! Barely.....
Though I might be a little radioactive now.....
Eh, we can just transport you to the next site in a lead minecart.
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 09:55:01 pm
Tath Zagith
Indilwen
Corai
Ghost Hugo
MrHappyFace
Eric Blank
Wierd
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 16, 2012, 09:55:31 pm
"Well, it's been fun, but I have seen every possible future from this point on, and all but one are so utterly boring, I refuse to take part in this tepid reality any longer. Adios."
I release the lever and the wheels start turning, back towards the collapsing time-lock.
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 09:56:22 pm
Tath Zagith
Indilwen
Corai
Ghost Hugo
Eric Blank
Wierd
Post by: Eric Blank on May 16, 2012, 09:59:39 pm
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 10:00:51 pm
Tath Zagith
Indilwen
Corai
Ghost Hugo
Eric Blank
Wierd
Random Stoneworker
EDIT:The random stoneworker dwarf needs a dwarf name.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 10:01:01 pm
After these Eldrazi fell, the dark forces would sweep the earth. HugoLuman would absorb every being it passed over, taking all the Titans, Megabeasts, and Forgotten Beasts into itself.
Is it another site on the same world, or are we going to a new world?
Post by: Corai on May 16, 2012, 10:01:59 pm
*A kobold stands on a boulder, with a megaphone and speaks the eternal words.....
STOP BEING OVERPOWERS, HUGOLUMAN!
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 10:03:05 pm
I say that someone should actually start up a save in order to provide material to get our insane RP'ing started.
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 10:03:43 pm
Holy shit, I start using them, ad in 3 pages the fort is is fucking crater!
LOL!
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 10:05:05 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 10:07:38 pm
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 16, 2012, 10:07:42 pm
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 10:08:12 pm
See, he never made it back to the lab, never confronted the dalek overlords, and look at all the !!FUN!! We had! Continuity for the WIN!
Post by: Corai on May 16, 2012, 10:09:51 pm
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 10:10:13 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 10:12:55 pm
The remaining Daleks frantically zoomed about the lab, but then the room did not seem to be crumbling yet. It was then they saw a wounded and badly battered dwarven zombie crawling out of the air vent. "Thisss... is for... EVERYTHING!" it wheezed, and pulled the cleansing lever. The Daleks shrieked as the room filled with magma and water. It's worldly business concluded, the dwarf happily dissolved into the magma and was at peace.
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 16, 2012, 10:17:51 pm
Shaking, yet smiling, he pulls out a few addy wafers.
"Mission accomplished."
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 10:20:05 pm
If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
...we would royally and completely destroy the world in some incredibly Fun way.
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 10:21:14 pm
Tath Zagith
Indilwen
Corai
Ghost Hugo
MrHappyFace
Eric Blank
Wierd
A few candy wafers
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 10:21:59 pm
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 10:23:23 pm
Tath Zagith
Indilwen
Corai
Ghost Hugo
MrHappyFace
Eric Blank
Wierd
A few candy wafers
A plump helmet man
Post by: Corai on May 16, 2012, 10:24:11 pm
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 10:24:40 pm
The whole fortress was.......gone.
All the people... gone.
Staring out at the now red hot lake of magma that was filling the crater, a voice behind asked: "what now lads?"
It was the dwarf from before.. the one that was attacking the marshmallows.... how did he escape? Weird was beside himself, and grabbed the dwarf and hugged him.
"You're alive! You're alive!!"
'Aye lad, and you smell like a latrine! Lemme go!"
It took a moment for him to realize.... in the final moments just before the great explosion, the fear must have overpowered him.... and now, he and his suit were reeking overpwoeringly.
"I think I will change clothes... and burn these ones... and get a bath. A long, hot bath. With soap. Lots and lots of soap."
Waving his hand under his nose with one hand, and pinching it with the other, the nameless dwarf made a profoundly nasal "aye." Before shooing him off.
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 10:25:30 pm
Tath Zagith (Grandmaster Soldier, Legendary Tailor)
Indilwen (Master Alchemist, Herbalist, and wood worker)
Corai
Ghost Hugo
MrHappyFace
Eric Blank
Wierd
A few candy wafers
A plump helmet man
12 Kobolds
(BTW Update this as needed. Also put what your "Roll" was[Such as Warrior, Alchemist and etc.].)
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 10:28:52 pm
So, Captain Ironblood made it out alive? Good.
Post by: Kofthefens on May 16, 2012, 10:33:40 pm
Post by: Corai on May 16, 2012, 10:35:30 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on May 16, 2012, 10:35:46 pm
Post by: Gizogin on May 16, 2012, 10:36:45 pm
So roll call, Who made it out?
Tath Zagith
Indilwen
Corai
Ghost Hugo
MrHappyFace
Oi! I'm here too!
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 10:37:04 pm
The ghosts will kill us all!
I propose channeling a stream over the magma lake, to obsidianize the top, then use the newly created magma lake beneath to make obsidian to rebuild the fortress with.
Then we can carve out the history that was being written about at the beginning of this thread.
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 10:38:42 pm
Catalog;
People
Tath Zagith (Grandmaster Soldier, Legendary Tailor)
Indilwen (Master Alchemist, Herbalist, and wood worker)
Corai (Master Broker, Master Marksbold)
Gizogin
MrHappyFace
Eric Blank
Wierd
Misc;
A few candy wafers
A plump helmet man
12 Kobolds
Ghosts;
Kofthefens
Hugo
(BTW Update this as needed. Also put what your "Roll" was[Such as Warrior, Alchemist and etc.].)
People
Tath Zagith (Grandmaster Soldier, Legendary Tailor)
Indilwen (Master Alchemist, Herbalist, and wood worker)
Corai (Master Broker, Master Marksbold)
Gizogin
MrHappyFace
Eric Blank
Wierd
Misc;
A few candy wafers
A plump helmet man
12 Kobolds
Ghosts;
Kofthefens
Hugo
Post by: Kofthefens on May 16, 2012, 10:39:15 pm
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 10:39:45 pm
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 10:41:14 pm
Legendary demolitionist
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 10:41:37 pm
And there were 24 kobolds, and 45 or so dwarves. Not surprising that the dwarves and half the kobolds would tell us to fuck off...
They'll be back as migrants, mark my words.
The dwarven trader came over the crest of the hill, only to find a huge crater where his destination was half an hour ago. Thunder booms from the depths, and sounds of a mighty battle issue forth. "Oh well, might as well turn around then."
I'm not technically dead, so the slab won't work, but I may as well be what with being a disembodied consciousness. I have apprehensions about using one of the spare bodies, it would probably evoke bad memories.
Post by: Corai on May 16, 2012, 10:42:27 pm
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 10:44:01 pm
Catalog;
People
Tath Zagith (Grandmaster Soldier, Legendary Tailor)
Indilwen (Master Alchemist, Herbalist, and wood worker)
Corai (Master Broker, Master Marksbold)
Gizogin
MrHappyFace
Eric Blank
Wierd (Engineer, Alchemist, clothier, glass maker, lasher, necromancer, animal caretaker/trainer, Legendary demolitionist)
Misc;
A few candy wafers
A plump helmet man
12 Kobolds
Ghosts;
Kofthefens
Hugo
(BTW Update this as needed. Also put what your "Roll" was[Such as Warrior, Alchemist and etc.].)
People
Tath Zagith (Grandmaster Soldier, Legendary Tailor)
Indilwen (Master Alchemist, Herbalist, and wood worker)
Corai (Master Broker, Master Marksbold)
Gizogin
MrHappyFace
Eric Blank
Wierd (Engineer, Alchemist, clothier, glass maker, lasher, necromancer, animal caretaker/trainer, Legendary demolitionist)
Misc;
A few candy wafers
A plump helmet man
12 Kobolds
Ghosts;
Kofthefens
Hugo
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 10:45:09 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on May 16, 2012, 10:46:55 pm
Gizogin, I petition you to engineer mechanical shells useful for mining purposes.
Eric Blank
I am, of course, a legendary miner, mason, engraver, and Great architect. 50% of that fortress was my personal work, what with spending the first 3 years with perhaps one other stoneworker in the entire place.
If there's anyone that would be tantrumming right now, it would be me. I get pissed off easily, and losing 100% of my masterpieces and my "pets" and friends and spouse to a massive explosion is a right good way to piss me off.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 10:47:43 pm
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 10:48:18 pm
Catalog;
People
Tath Zagith (Grandmaster Soldier, Legendary Tailor)
Indilwen (Master Alchemist, Herbalist, and wood worker)
Corai (Master Broker, Master Marksbold)
Gizogin
MrHappyFace
Eric Blank (Legendary Miner, Mason, Engraver, and Great Architect)
Wierd (Engineer, Alchemist, clothier, glass maker, lasher, necromancer, animal caretaker/trainer, Legendary demolitionist)
Misc;
A few candy wafers
A plump helmet man
12 Kobolds
Ghosts;
Kofthefens
Hugo
(BTW Update this as needed. Also put what your "Roll" was[Such as Warrior, Alchemist and etc.].)
People
Tath Zagith (Grandmaster Soldier, Legendary Tailor)
Indilwen (Master Alchemist, Herbalist, and wood worker)
Corai (Master Broker, Master Marksbold)
Gizogin
MrHappyFace
Eric Blank (Legendary Miner, Mason, Engraver, and Great Architect)
Wierd (Engineer, Alchemist, clothier, glass maker, lasher, necromancer, animal caretaker/trainer, Legendary demolitionist)
Misc;
A few candy wafers
A plump helmet man
12 Kobolds
Ghosts;
Kofthefens
Hugo
Post by: Corai on May 16, 2012, 10:50:23 pm
"None! Did you see what happened just a hour ago! A MECH is what started the overrall beginning of the end! One that was not even USED, for one! A mining mech is worst! It could dig straight into hell again!"
Post by: Kofthefens on May 16, 2012, 10:53:21 pm
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 10:54:49 pm
Catalog;
People
Tath Zagith (Grandmaster Soldier, Legendary Tailor)
Indilwen (Master Alchemist, Herbalist, and wood worker)
Corai (Master Broker, Master Marksbold)
Gizogin
MrHappyFace
Eric Blank (Legendary Miner, Mason, Engraver, and Great Architect)
Wierd (Engineer, Alchemist, clothier, glass maker, lasher, necromancer, animal caretaker/trainer, Legendary demolitionist)
Misc;
A few candy wafers
A plump helmet man
12 Kobolds
Ghosts;
Kofthefens (Glassmaker, Potter, Marksdwarf, Organizer, Record Keeper, Swimmer, Mechanic, Siege engineer. When Alive)
Hugo
People
Tath Zagith (Grandmaster Soldier, Legendary Tailor)
Indilwen (Master Alchemist, Herbalist, and wood worker)
Corai (Master Broker, Master Marksbold)
Gizogin
MrHappyFace
Eric Blank (Legendary Miner, Mason, Engraver, and Great Architect)
Wierd (Engineer, Alchemist, clothier, glass maker, lasher, necromancer, animal caretaker/trainer, Legendary demolitionist)
Misc;
A few candy wafers
A plump helmet man
12 Kobolds
Ghosts;
Kofthefens (Glassmaker, Potter, Marksdwarf, Organizer, Record Keeper, Swimmer, Mechanic, Siege engineer. When Alive)
Hugo
(BTW Update this as needed. Also put what your "Roll" was[Such as Warrior, Alchemist and etc.].)
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 10:55:04 pm
"No, it was time machines with gods damned too many fucking levers in them, with none of them labled! *NO TIME MACHINES*!"
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 10:55:23 pm
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 16, 2012, 10:56:32 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 10:58:10 pm
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 10:58:43 pm
Catalog;
People
Tath Zagith (Grandmaster Soldier, Legendary Tailor)
Indilwen (Master Alchemist, Herbalist, and wood worker)
Corai (Master Broker, Master Marksbold)
Gizogin
MrHappyFace (Woodcutter, Furnace Operator)
Eric Blank (Legendary Miner, Mason, Engraver, and Great Architect)
Wierd (Engineer, Alchemist, clothier, glass maker, lasher, necromancer, animal caretaker/trainer, Legendary demolitionist)
Misc;
A few candy wafers
A plump helmet man
12 Kobolds
Ghosts;
Kofthefens (Glassmaker, Potter, Marksdwarf, Organizer, Record Keeper, Swimmer, Mechanic, Siege engineer. When Alive)
Hugo
People
Tath Zagith (Grandmaster Soldier, Legendary Tailor)
Indilwen (Master Alchemist, Herbalist, and wood worker)
Corai (Master Broker, Master Marksbold)
Gizogin
MrHappyFace (Woodcutter, Furnace Operator)
Eric Blank (Legendary Miner, Mason, Engraver, and Great Architect)
Wierd (Engineer, Alchemist, clothier, glass maker, lasher, necromancer, animal caretaker/trainer, Legendary demolitionist)
Misc;
A few candy wafers
A plump helmet man
12 Kobolds
Ghosts;
Kofthefens (Glassmaker, Potter, Marksdwarf, Organizer, Record Keeper, Swimmer, Mechanic, Siege engineer. When Alive)
Hugo
(BTW Update this as needed. Also put what your "Roll" was[Such as Warrior, Alchemist and etc.].)
Post by: Corai on May 16, 2012, 10:59:33 pm
Post by: kisame12794 on May 16, 2012, 11:00:31 pm
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 16, 2012, 11:00:36 pm
I'll miss you, DeLorean timecart.
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 11:01:43 pm
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 11:02:10 pm
Requests will probably be made on the next thread when someone creates it. Right now I am just cataloging what is left of this fort.
Post by: Kofthefens on May 16, 2012, 11:03:00 pm
Ninja'd 4x
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 11:04:01 pm
So what do we have left but what we are already wearing? I'm cataloging it to bring to the next fort.
I guess that makes me a bookkeeper too?
I guess that makes me a bookkeeper too?
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 11:04:43 pm
Post by: wierd on May 16, 2012, 11:05:25 pm
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 11:05:56 pm
Post by: Kofthefens on May 16, 2012, 11:06:20 pm
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 11:06:47 pm
Post by: Eric Blank on May 16, 2012, 11:07:12 pm
If everyone would be willing, I'd like to personally confiscate all time-technology. It has brought us nothing but unspeakable horror. It would ease my mind to get rid of it myself.
Although I admire the concept of successful control of dangerous items and materials, I must state that the one thing which has held back the developement of mankind and damaged more civilizations than any other is the destruction of historical documents and legends, and technologies or knowledge deemed unfit for public knowledge or outright destroyed in an effort to rid the world of them. If this is our course of action throughout the culture we are about to create, I warn that the destruction of our people in the future is undeniably guaranteed. We need to maintain and understand all technological and magical advancements, not brandish them as witchcraft, lest some other civilization with no such fears swoop in and destroy us overnight. Controlling the time-travel technology is necessary, though. It should only be available to scientific efforts or in emergency situations, by trained professionals with no political motivations but a staunch determination not to let the world be fucked over by it.
Post by: kisame12794 on May 16, 2012, 11:08:09 pm
Whaaaat. 5x ninjas.
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 11:08:15 pm
Post by: Kofthefens on May 16, 2012, 11:08:47 pm
Here it is:
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=109636.0
Post by: Saurinae on May 16, 2012, 11:09:16 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 11:09:47 pm
Goodbye sweet thread! What an epic way to die!
Post by: Eric Blank on May 16, 2012, 11:10:07 pm
Post by: kisame12794 on May 16, 2012, 11:11:41 pm
Post by: Corai on May 16, 2012, 11:12:23 pm
Post by: Mrhappyface on May 16, 2012, 11:13:35 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 11:21:08 pm
Oh danny !!thread!!, the pipes the pipes are caaaaalling!
Post by: WillowLuman on May 16, 2012, 11:44:21 pm
Post by: Oliolli on May 17, 2012, 12:39:41 am
Post by: Reudh on May 17, 2012, 05:05:03 am
Though I was only on the outer, you were always fun to read.
Post by: Gizogin on May 17, 2012, 06:14:00 am
Post by: Zanzetkuken The Great on May 17, 2012, 09:28:43 am
So long thead! Where's the new one?
Post by: Kofthefens on May 17, 2012, 10:53:03 am
Post by: Loud Whispers on May 17, 2012, 02:40:37 pm
Post by: WillowLuman on May 21, 2012, 06:32:30 pm
Let this be the last remembrance:
(http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/29/AbandonThread.gif)
Post by: nekronuke on May 30, 2012, 12:11:52 pm
And the bowl lay broken, near a pile of shattered stone, and the skeletal hand of a forgotten dwarf.
Post by: WillowLuman on September 05, 2012, 10:28:18 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Ultimuh on September 06, 2012, 06:51:19 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
...
Why? It's.. MONTHS old.. And now you provoked ME into posting this for apparently no reason!
Why not start a completely new thread about the same topic?
Please for the love of anything decent, have it locked and move on.
Post by: Crossroads Inc. on September 06, 2012, 07:36:30 am
Geh how Do I lock a thread?
Post by: Reudh on September 06, 2012, 07:37:49 am
Post by: Oliolli on September 06, 2012, 08:19:39 am
Let this be the last remembrance:
(http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/29/AbandonThread.gif)