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[wierd]

Ok, but I am leaving joker as the apocolypse card. That is 2 out of 52, or roughly 1/26 odds.

I could remove one of the jokers if you want it more difficult to draw.

Ace happens 4 times in the deck. It has twice the chance of being drawn as joker. As such, it should not be the apocolyptic event card.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Jokers should be a random event, not sure fire apocalypse!  No card should be the apocalypse, unless it is a random event! 

Don't forget about this:

After an undisclosed period of time, and frustrated by the inactivity on the other side, Zanzetkuken sent a message mentally through the time-lock.  It was "Whoever receives this message, speak to Weird Joykill about the time-lock.  Tell him, that if it is shut down, armies will come to assist the Twelfth Bay."
Unknown to Zanzetkuken, the super plump helmet man received this message, and began searching for Weird in order to tell him the message...

Edit: to do a random event, say two events, assign one to heads, and one to tails, then flip the coin.

[wierd]

Ok, since a single card is approx 2D6, (not a single die roll) I will double your values.

A-2, complete success, 3-4, partial success, 5-6, neutral, 7-8, some failure, 9-10, total failure, J-Q, random event, K-Jk, "what." (Think, ollifex suddenly wears pink tutu type 'what.')

Where "partial failure" is "1 or 2 zombies raise, but are dumber than a tub of mayo, and just stumble around, and can't be controlled."

And

"Complete failure" is "all corpses in sight raise, but are hostile!"

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Ok, since a single card is approx 2D6, (not a single die roll) I will double your values.

A-2, complete success, 3-4, partial success, 5-6, neutral, 7-8, some failure, 9-10, total failure, J-Q, random event, K-Jk, "what." (Think, ollifex suddenly wears pink tutu type 'what.')

That works even better than what we were discussing.

I'll be using twelve six-sided dice.  Adding the dice totals, then averaging.  I have over 50 different values.  It will not be rounded at all, so I will approximate the success value that I get.

Edit: Test roll gives me a 3.58333333..., so I have partial failure, if I was making a post.

[wierd]

[Card = 4 of clubs]

Concentrating on a single corpse... the dwarf with the adamantine axe that had been so happy to see him earlier as he died, weird joykill focused, concentrated, and jestured for all he was worth. At first he didn't think it had worked. His head was literally throbbing now, a big vein pulsing at the side of his temple, and stars danced across his vision.

Then, as though reacting to his own fatigue, the corpse rose, thrusting a bloody fist out of the rubble, followed by an adamantine axe held in the other.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Don't forget SPHM's message from me!

[WillowLuman]

Well, just to clear any confusion, My evil alter ego somehow split from me, becoming disembodied and possessing the clockwork body Gizogzin had made to channel Weird with. That clockwork ZTG was merely another sleeper agent that was sent to assassinate him and take his place should the main army fail to exterminate the Dragons.

A dwarven scout ran into the hospital. "We've got about 5 minutes before the creatures get here!" she yelled. "Looking down that hole in the stairwell, I saw more of those explodey green things, some big black nasty hunter looking things, and a several demons!"

The 14th Dalek patrol was receiving a broadcast from the Supreme Dalek during one of the intermittent power surges. "AN ECTOPLASMIC ENTITY IS DETECTED ATTACKING DALEKS NEAR THIS AREA, PRIORITY IS TO CONTAIN! SWITCH TO PHOTON BEAMS TO RENDER IT INERT!"
"WE OBEY!"
The squad's SW Dalek deployed a small floating box with a heavy metal lid and a faint glow coming from within. "DALEKS WILL EXTERMINATE GHOSTS!" The dalek that said this then combusted due to a power surge. "OBSTACLES WILL NOT DELAY THE DALEK PURPOSE!"

[wierd]

[Card= A of hearts]

He sat down on the stone floor, wishing more of the coolness would soak through the suit.  He would need a bath, and the suit would need aggressive cleaning when this was all over.  For the time being, the calm before the storm, and the cold stone floor would have to do.

Jolting off of his stone bench in the infirmary, spilling his bucket of well water over in the process, plumpy acted like had just been bitten by a giant mosquito, or stung by a bee.

Weird didn't really care. Who knew how a giant fungus managed to think, let alone be sentient, considering the complete lack of a nervous system. A few quirks and oddities were likely to be expected from such exotic sentience.

Well, he didn't care, until plumpy waddled over, his disturbingly phallic shaped head dropping off bits of charred cruft as new myconoid tissue grew underneath as it bobbed into view.

"What do you want plumpy?" He asked, rubbing his forhead earnestly. He felt like a nosebleed was coming on. He hadn't had those since he was a very little kid.  God, that seemed so long ago now.

"I... well.... we.... uhm."

"Out with it plumpy, I'm a busy man. I still have to re-rig the flaps on the reagent vials."

The plump helmet man scowled.

"We have to drop the barrier." He said flatly.

"Barrier? What barrier?!" Joykill scoffed back. "If you mean the rubble in the doorway, you need your fungus examined, because that's fucking stupid!"

The scowl on the plump helmet's disturbingly cute face was a twisted caricature of anger mixed with permanent joy.

"The... .. the timelock, whatever the hell that is!" Plumpy shouted, purple rushing into his stem.

"Timelock? Why would we be under a timelock?"

"I don't know! I just know I was resting in the infirmary, and a really loud roaring voice demanded that I tell you to breach the timelock. I don't know what a timelock is, why we would have one, what one does, or why I was told to tell you, but I did. Jeeze!"

Memories of clockwork hugo's cagetrap monstrosity in the vents above the dining hall came to mind. Getting in there would be a real trick, given that the door was blocked with rubble, swung *IN*, and was bowed OUT from the collapse.  Those doors would be more likely to crumble than swing after what they had been through.  On top of that, there was the deadly gas he has jettisoned in there about an hour earlier.  There wasn't nearly enough metal in there to bind with all the chlorine and hydrocyanate he had filled that room with.  The vents would be choked with deadly corrosive gas.  That assuming hugo hadn't moved the damn thing, or that he could even get in.

"Thanks plumpy." Weird said. "Go back and rest a bit more. Hell's coming to breakfast. Let's try not to be the main course."

[WillowLuman]

The survivors in the hospital were surprised to see another group entering the doorway. That group consisted of a horn-helmeted elf with a flowing beard, 2 very grim looking dwarves with a fierceness in their manner, one naked human with a spear, and a determined looking cave-swallow man with a wooden shield and spear. One of the dwarves spoke. "So, ye are on our side, right? This damn place is nothin' but madness, so a lad kens not what tae expect nae more."

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

The super plump helmet man almost said something else, but weird had already left.  Frustrated, he gathered some giant olms and brought them with him, avoiding any hostiles, to the dining hall that housed the giant crystal, now collapsed.  He quickly told the olms what he was told, and they got to work unburying the crystal.  The SPHM learned from Zanzetkuken that he and his army were going to appear around the comm crystal, and it needed to be unburied...

Spoiler: off topic, assistance required from Gizogin (click to show/hide)

I need some help with my dragonic civilization mod.  The dragonic forge will not convert an item that I made.  Link is in my sig.

[wierd]

"You have no idea................" weird replied.  They would have to invent a now definition of crazy to describe this place. Bedlam assylum was peaceful in comparison.

"Friend, or foe!?" Balked the dwarf, axe raised.

weird let out an exasperated sigh. Then again, with all that was going on, it was actually a pretty poingant question.

"If you've been opening tincans, mushing acid spewing ugly plant things, making monsters bleed blue, playing chess with the HFS, and making blobs of black puke know the meaning of pain..... friend. Otherwise, foe."

[WillowLuman]

Just then, the first of the Xenomorphs to reach the upper levels came upon SPHM and the Olm men. "Men! I mean, Olm Men! Get ready to fight!"

The Supreme Dalek broadcasted out. "Reinforcements from the Great One are here! All units converge on the medical area!"

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

By the Great One, are you refering to clockwork you or someone else? (not me of course)

And are they just bypassing SPHM and the GOMs?

Room is 1/3 unburried when you arrived.

[WillowLuman]

By the Great One, are you refering to clockwork you or someone else? (not me of course)

And are they just bypassing SPHM and the GOMs?

Room is 1/3 was unburried when you arrived

The fortress is honeycombed with corridors, so a relatively small detatchment of the Horde came through the particular hallway you were digging out of the reach the dining room.

CW Hugo is the great one, for resurrecting them from the void. The Xenos and HFS demons are the reinforcements. Not that many demons though, as most died in the first purge of Hell.

[wierd]

Daleks *NEVER* cooperate with any other race, excepting the mutual desire to destroy a single, specific lifeform that they have an extra special hatred for.

They consider all life besides themselves to be unworthy of life, and a pestilence that must be purged. As such, daleks would never refer to clockwork hugo as the great one. The dalek emperor holds that unique priviledge.  Even davros is not called the great one, and he created the damn things.

No. More likely, they smashed through on their own as a result of the dimension getting bust across the chops by hugo's experiment, and being a convenient place to replenish their numbers.