Everyone entering GREEN!---Dirt Track: When Driving Aggressively, a roll of 2 results in the loss of ONE Momentum. On a failure to pass with a ram or draft, lose ONE momentum. If your momentum is 3 or less after this, you suffer an off course hazard! On a successful ram, knock your opponent off course-but if you fail to avoid spinning out, you go off course!
---Sugar Rush: When recovering after falling back, gain +1 Momentum! Gain +1 Momentum on all rocket starts!
---Twisty Curve: -1 to Power Slides
---Chocobumps: +1 Momentum in the hazard phase if you didn't go off-track or defensive drive!
---Item Boxes (Easy Line of 6): 6 total item boxes up for grabs! +1 to grab!
!!Hazard!!
Choco-Mud
All racers hazard check, or lose 1 momentum and take -1 debuff!
Off Course!
Choco-pits: Hazard check or lose 1 momentum! Repeat hazard check until success! Take a -2 debuff upon exiting!
<--Track Mood Music
Lightning Phase~
Player Action PhasePOWER SLIDE AND PULL AHEAD FROM ALL THESE CHEATERS WAAAAAAAAA!
"THANKS TO WALUIGI'S IMMENSE SKILL WALUIGI IS BACK IN WALUIGI'S RIGHTFUL SPOT IN NUMBER ONE! WAAAAAAAAA!"[1+1=2]Waluigis immense speed and skill does him no favors on the wide, easy to handle turn-while he avoids doing anything harmful to his kart, his wild seesawing across the track means he gains
no momentum either!
He hears an annoying sound behind-the cheater is trying to use Waluigis
own displaced air against him! And Waluigi thought his jokes were bad.
Dick Dastardly drafts you! Free pass attempt!Dick/[1+4=5] vs Waluigi/
[2+7=9]Waluigi has some tricks of his own, not that he'd need them to deal with this cheater! Waluigi hits the dirt release on his Waffle drill and sends a shower of chocolate rocks into his draft zone, giving the one who stole the viking cola sponsorship from him a decent drubbing!
But, Waluigi isn't done yet...!
The pusillanimous plumber, now emboldened, deliberately slows his kart down so as to make Dick Dastardly crash his explosive fake item box and lose even more speed! That's the sort of low down dirty move that gets controllers unplugged. Unfortunately, the cheater cheatingly drives off track, rather than face the awesome power of his explosive box!
He watches with glee as Dick Dastardly struggles to get back on track, only to be smacked upside the head by a shovel wielded by the toothy fellow! Truly revenge is meted to all villains, Waluigi thinks, as Dampe breaks past Dick Dastardly and abruptly fires a homing red shell at him.
Dampe fires a red shell at you!Waluigi/
[5] vs Dampe/[3+3=6]
Waluigi's kart is pretty fast, so he hits the gas and tries to outrun the projectile, which is following him unerreingly! Unfortunately for him, the Mouser driving the shell is on a desperate mission and won't be deterred...
Red Shelled:
-2 Momentum (Now 5)
The Shell hits waluigis Kart with a mighty clang, leaving a large chunk stuck inside! It almost looks like a pilot cabin. Whatever! Waluigi still #1!
...
In the depths of Waluigis KartA bashed up mouser driver emerged from the wreckage of his red shell, his goggles smoking and his long red scarf smoldering. The other mini-mousers crowded around in awe.
"...Monterey Jack!""He's here to save us!""I said I'd be here, didn't I? The mafia rats aren't going to keep me in the stands when people need saving.""...But the kart is going down Jack. We're about to explode! What are we going to do?""Don't worry Kid, I got an idea...just trust me."
"As to be expected of this Faker. It's time you get your comeupance. After I take your speed for myself!"
Dick is Drafting Waluigi. He's brought out his Extendable Choco-Fludd Vacuum to steal even more speed(and chocolate/bubble soda). What a dastard.
With a red shell spinning behind, Dick takes a long shot gamble to get ahead by trying to draft Waluigi!
You draft Waluigi! Free pass attempt!Dick
[1+4=5] vs Waluigi/[2+7=9]
Dick Dastardly tries to line up in Waluigis wind-zone, only to find the Faker prepared a trick of his own-he finds the space behind Waluigis kart filled with a thick cloud of chocolate dust!
Dirt Track Penalty (Pass Fail):
-1 Momentum (Now 3)
Coughing, Dick squints and looks ahead (his goggles might very well be part of the hat), only to see the perilous plumber has literally slowed down his kart-in an attempt to make Dick rear end him, right into an explosive fake item box!
[5]Dick is used to such tricks, though this one feels a bit more personal than he's used to-to avoid the box, he cleverly drives his Kart off track!
Off Track Penalty:
-1 Momentum (Now 2)
Taking a shortcut through the crumbled cookies slows him down even more, but at least he didn't give Waluigi the satisfaction of nailing him!
Dick Dastardly rolls back onto the raceway with a smug satisfaction that can only come from dropping ones guard right before something terrible happens.
He hears a growling noise.
rrr...Dampe rams you! Free pass attempt!Dick/
[6+2=8] vs Dampe/[5+5+2=12]
*Bong*!Dick is whacked upside the head by a shovel wielded by Dampe as the Gravediggers kart blows by him-small versions of Muttley circle his head in a diadem as he drifts off track again.
Rammed:
-2 Momentum (Now 0)
Off Track Penalty:
-1 Momentum (Now -1)
Position Lost!Stunned, Dick can only watch as a succession of racers power slide right by him! Muttley is lazing in the stands, drinking a huge soft drink with the label 'Extreme Orange' on it!
Double drat or triple drat? How many drats is that now?
Crank Power slide success! Free pass attempt vs you!
Dick/[3+-1=2] vs Crank/[4+6+1=11]
Bower Power slide success! Free pass attempt vs Dick Dastardly!
Dick/[5+-1=4] vs Bowser/[2+6+1=9]
The humiliation ends (really, he almost got sent to the back of the pack!) as he finally rambles onto track-noting that directly behind him, is Jack Frost. Who drove so lamely this turn that he actually saved Dick from falling back even further.
It's funny how these things work out.
Dampe grumbles after being passed by both Dick and Waluigi
Ram Dick and throw red shell at Waluigi if able to pass
rrr... Dampe doesn't take getting passed easily.
Raising his mighty shovel, he advances on Dick-the villain is veering all over the track after his failed move, and easy prey!
Dampe rams Dick! Free pass attempt![6+2=8] vs
[5+5+2=12]Pass Cost:
-1 Momentum (Now 4)
Gained 2nd place!Dampe gives his opponent a pounding, a satisfying bong ringing out as he sends Dastardly spinning off track again! Rrrrrr!
He wastes no time in launching his red shell as soon as Waluigi is lit up in his karts target lock!
Dampe fires a red shell at Waluigi![5] vs
[3+3=6]Dampe watches with satisfaction as he lays another racer out flat! That should keep him close until Dampe gets in shovel range...
Crank grumbles something that shouldn't be played on the commentary track. He owed himself a hundred dirt track laps before the next race; this was inexcusable. Maybe he should have gotten those tires. At least he was doing well when not in contact with the track... but how would sliding do on this dirt?
Powerslide!
Grumbling at his poor skill on the dirt track (Crank wishes he was on the familiar wet slick cave floor of his homeland in the Gloomba Grotto), the Gloomba Racer attempts to hit a power slide-hoping the wide track is somewhat more forgiving than the previous sections.
[6+1=7]Super Critical Powerslide Success:
+2 Momentum (Now 6)
+1 to Pass Checks and Free Pass Attempt!
Here we go! Crank immediately feels the difference-cutting into the dirt at a slide is far easier than attempting to fight the track directly, as it cuts through the rough and crumbly terrain easier. He's pretty sure power slides are just generally safer on this track, with less chance of being sent off course than through aggressive driving or pass attempts. He pours on judicious and well timed mini-boosts, rapidly increasing his speed!
He notes ahead Dick Dastardly has spunout on the corner...Crank pours all his speed into the next turn.
Power slide success! Free pass attempt vs Dick Dastardly!Dick/[3+-1=2] vs Crank/
[4+6+1=11]There's really no question of this particular outcome.
Pass Cost:
-1 Momentum (Now 5)
Gained 3rd place!Crank hears a whistling noise from behind as the Koopa King Bowser tosses something at him! It doesn't sound like a traditional weapon, but...
Bowser/[2] vs Crank/[1]
*Clank*It seems Bowser has tossed him a strange looking object which he recognizes from the pre-race briefing as a
Phanto's Puzzlebox. It looks like a standard 6 sided box, except each of the faces is a phanto mask showing a different emotion...he's pretty sure you were supposed to solve it and get some sort of prize. Maybe Bowser was too dumb to figure out the puzzles?
Powerslide. If I happen to pass the cave goomba, throw the puzzlebox into his kart, otherwise toss the puzzlebox in his direction
”I’ll take your word for it!”Seeing he has no chance to pass Crank,
Bowser hucks his Phanto Puzzlebox forward as the Cave Goomba accelerates forward!
Bowser/[2] vs Crank/[1]
Nailed him!
Feeling successful, Bowser grinds into the turn-he's always had good luck on these power slides!
[5+1=6]Critical Powerslide Success:
+1 Momentum (Now 6)
+1 to Pass Checks and Free Pass Attempt!
Bowser notes a sad looking Dick Dastardly sitting on the side of the track.
Power slide success! Free pass attempt vs Dick Dastardly!Dick/[5+-1=4] vs Bowser/
[2+6+1=9]Bowser no longer notes the presence of a sad looking Dick Dastardly. Bwahahaha!
Pass Cost:
-1 Momentum (Now 5)
Gained 4th place!
Defensive drive the heck outta this track!
Jack isn't feeling the mood, and drives pretty carefully.
+1 to passes, grabs, and hazards!His slow driving at least keeps him from suffering any more setbacks-unfortunately, he misses a chance to join the parade passing by a wiped out Dick Dastardly, who rambles onto track right in front of him.
Oh well. Hee ho, life brings people back together...
Cranky Kong finds himself in an unexpected (if not unprecedented) situation- he can't get a word in edgewise over the nagging of his undead wife, Wrinkly Kong! He sighs, knowing there's only one way to get her off his case, at least for a little while- eating the "healthy" tofu banana. He's not sure if he has the nerve, though- from experience, he knows the damn thing isn't even banana-flavored tofu!
Full of trepidation, he begins unpeeling the unappealing minimeal. To distract himself from the coming horror, Cranky focuses on throwing the Speedy Pete in to a Powerslide, hoping to keep pace with the pack!
Bracing himself for a terrible tofu banana,
Cranky veers into a...
[3+1=4]Successful powerslide!+1 to Pass Checks!
Crankys usual modus operandi was to extend the time between unpeeling the 'banana' and actually raising it and taking a bite to ridiculous lengths, in the hope Wrinkly would get distracted by some sort of domestic emergency-once she left he could safely dispose of it.
Now that she's undead he's not sure if the trick will work, since as an immortal spirit, she'll never get distracted...
He notes in his rearview mirror, a huge dinosaur sliding on his rear at an alarming speed.
Tricky Power slide success! Free pass attempt vs you!Tricky/
[5+3+1=9] vs Cranky/[3+2+1=6]
Tricky slides past him, sending dirt flying all over the kart! Worrying developments...
Wrinkly nods warmly, assuming Cranky has taken her advice about falling 'safely' to the back of the pack and begins to attend to the recent mud shower with a ghostly mop.
Position lost!Action: Tricky is power sliding!
"Wheeee!"6+1=7Super Critical Powerslide Success:
+2 Momentum (Now 3)
+1 to Pass Checks and Free Pass Attempt!
Tricky jumps on his rear and slides along in the nice clear path left by the other racers-though, he substantially widens it. Picking up speed, the Triceratops begins to approach Cranky at a reptilian drift!
Power slide success! Free pass attempt vs Cranky Kong!Tricky/
[5+3+1=9] vs Cranky/[3+2+1=6]
Pass Cost:
-1 Momentum Armor up! Reduce Momentum loss by 1! (Final Result: No change! Now 3)
Gained 7th place!Reptilian Thinking: Tricky cannot power slide next turn!...
Hazard PhaseEverybody but Tricky, Jack, and Dick pick up speed on the Choco-bumpers!
+1 Momentum!...
Movement PhaseCranky can only unpeel the banana so slowly...this is a delicate operation...he gains a bit of speed on the choco-bumpers, but it's not enough to get track position...
Tricky can't catch up to Jack, but he's glad his 'armor' is less a physical thing and more a sort of omni-protective force that protects him from everything, even losing momentum on passes. He's pretty sure this is fairly balanced!
Jack seems unusually lifeless and misses a perfect opportunity to pass Dick Dastardly, as he is defensive driving!
Dick is getting pretty suspicious, as he's sure Jack Frost could have passed him if he had wanted to. The only reason for someone not to try and pass you is if they want bloody revenge! Egads! There's a psychopath on the loose!
Bowser is neck and neck with the Gloomber Crank and just barely can't pass him. Maybe it's time to test those new ramming rules...right in time for the PITS!
Crank guns his momentum as he finishes the turn, and realizes he's got a potential pass on the toothy guy, Dampe-he's got the speed and the angle to squeeze by. Just have to watch out for that shovel...
Crank tries to pass Dampe!Crank/
[2+6+1=9] vs Dampe/[2+5=7]
Crank squirts by Dampe, ducking low into his kart-his classic move-to avoid a rattling backhand blow as the shovels flat blade flies right over where his stumpy head would have been. But like any Rookie, Dampe doesn't account for his momentary lack of control-driving with one hand isn't so easy. But try driving with NO hands! Some people say Crank drives with his feet, but he's always left it as a mystery to the fans...
The subtle drift from Dampe is enough for Crank to barely get by him!
Pass Cost:
-1 Momentum (Now 5)
Gained 2nd place!Dampe blinks in astonishment as a blue Magic Mushroom driving a kart snaps by him, evading his retaliatory shovel easily! He can't catch up to regain his spot! Where did that one come from?
Waluigi recovers from his kart flip and tries to pick up speed-he's pretty sure he wants to clear this section of the track without the other racers bothering him!
He feels strange rumbles in his engine...
[3-6+6+1=4]Something explodes and flies off his kart-it looks like some sort of canister with a tiny parachute on it? Ah, well, it didn't seem important. But his kart reached enough speed to pull ahead!
Now all Waluigi has to do is traverse the next area without issue!
[2]Well, it's a lot easier said than done! Waluigis high speed combined with the slippery mud quickly results in him plowing into the hugest, gooiest pool of Chocolate in the entirety of choco-land. It splatters all over his kart! Someone help Waluigi!
*gloop gloop gloop*Hey, what's that ominous bubbling sound?
Waluigi hits the gas desperately and veers back onto track, his tires sloughing off the sticky stuff, but just as much clings to his kart-this stuff is worse than or as bad as blooper ink! Waaaa!
-1 Debuff and -1 Momentum!Waluigi hits the hazard and does not pull ahead! (though he's still #1!)He hasn't gained nearly as much ground as he should have!
Waaaaa! Mushroom Man is hot behind him!
Cleanup PhaseAll the racers feel the mud beneath their karts grow thick and soupy...
Bowsers kart rolls down to 5 momentum safely!
Waluigiss Kart rumbles dangerously-but then settles down. Apparently high speeds are really dangerous for his kart!
A frantic voice is heard from Waluigis radio-he thinks it's Walouise!
"Hey boss, I got a rat here show says they can help, but uh can you uh, turn off that thing that is making your ah-kart explode? That totally legal thing? ...What do you mean, he can't turn it off? Waaaaaa!"...
Dick Dastardly puts on Mozart- Requiem, K. 626: Kyrie to get his busted kart back in the mood to race! He spins back up to 2 momentum due to high acceleration!
Racing Order!
1st place!!!
Momentum- 5
Items-
[Dragged][Fake Item Box] (0 turns to Poison Shroom!)Chocolate Tank (1/10): Bottle of Bubble Soda (Standard Material)
2nd!!
Momentum- 5
Items-
[Special][Phanto Puzzlebox]
3rd!
Momentum- 5
Items-None
4th.!
Momentum- 5
Items-None
5th..!
Momentum- 2
Items-None
6th...!
Momentum- 4
Items-None
7th...?
Momentum- 3
Items-None
8th...
Momentum- 3
Items-
[Reserve][Tofu Banana]
Waluigi (Fluffe9911)
Place: 1st
Status- Antimatter Instability (+3 to loot rolls, gain star on 10+. Star makes your kart explode.), Sticky Chocolate (-1 to all racing, pass and hazard checks til end of next turn)
Segment- GREEN
Module Perks: Waffle Drill, Removed Crank-Strictor Plate, Fake Starheat Vents, Dark Star Fuel (0/3 charges left)
Mid-Race Hiccups: Featherweight
Module Hiccups: Mold Growth, Cold Start, Ghost Kart, Engine Cough
Permanent Hiccups: Mold Growth
Dick Dastardly
Place: 5th
Status-None
Segment- GREEN
Module Perks: High Accel, Dirty Weapons, Loot Vacuum, Choco-Fludd (1/1 charge left)
Mid-Race Hiccups: None!
Module Hiccups: Signal Interference, Greased up, Low Loot, Cold Start
Tricky the Triceratops (Track Boss)
Place: 7th
Status- Normal
Segment- GREEN
Crank (Toaster)
Place: 2nd
Status-Dark Coin (-1 to next loot roll)
Segment-GREEN
Module Perks: High Accel, Compensator
Ultra Boost: Streamlined
Mid-Race Hiccups: None!
Module Hiccups: Low Loot, Ice Sparks
Compensated: Low Loot
Bowser (SuperDino85)
Place: 4th
Status- Normal
Segment- GREEN
Module Perks: Choco-Fludd, Choco-Tires, High Acceleration
Ultra Boost: Item Boost
Module Hiccups: Sticky Wheel, Ghost Kart
Dampe (chaotick21)
Place: 3rd
Status- Normal
Segment- GREEN
Module Perks: Ramming Speed
Ultra Boost: Compensator
Mid-Race Hiccups: None!
Module Hiccups: None!
Compensated: Cold Start
Cranky Kong (monk12)
Place: 8th
Status- Normal
Segment- GREEN
Module Perks: Streamlined, Aerodynamic, Choco-Fludd, Choco-Tires
Mid-Race Hiccups: None!
Module Hiccups: Poor Handlingx2, Ghost Kart, Faulty Weapons
Jack Frost (Egan_BW)
Place: 6th
Status- None
Segment- GREEN
Module Perks: Chocotires, Dirty Weapons, Ramming Speed, Removed Crank-Strictor Plate
Mid-Race Hiccups: Grounded
Module Hiccups: Featherweight, Faulty Weapons, Low Loot, Signal Interference
...
"...Dick Dastardly has suffered a near disaster!"
"Very near! He was spared by the kindly Jack Frost-otherwise he may very have ended up sharing that oddly unappetizing looking banana with Cranky!""Crank the Gloomba, meanwhile, seems to have recovered from his earlier setbacks and looks clear to the front of the line.""While Dampe is still in the running, he's bashing away trying to reclaim first! Bowser is also enjoying a front end position-can he capitalize on it?""Our racers have now equalized in speed-the perfect place for us to enter the green segment...""...THE MUD PITS! Racers will have to be very careful here! The mud pits are extremely treacherous! Once you go in-you may never come out!""All racers should watch out for Tricky-he's not bothered by a bit of mud, and once he builds up speed, he may be impossible to stop!""But the glimmer of the second set of item boxes can be seen in the distance-a powerful advantage going into the final turn!"...
Before the race...A pair of passingly familiar track lakitus deploy their lakitu lines (with podobos on the end) to swish over the track."So we're gonna melt this section of the track down more, see? The racing master think it'll be more fun if there's more mud.""Fun to watch I guess. Why did we get this shift, anyway? This sucks, and it's already hot! And these podobos aren't doing any favors-they like to cuddle!""Cause we both lost all our money betting on Cranky Kong to lose, remember? I can't believe that Old Kong managed to win! I don't know about you, but I gotta earn some coin or the missus will take away the keys to the cloud...""Ah well. I just took out some loans, I put everything on Cranky Kong to lose again! See, it's like mathematics right. He wins one, so now he has to lose one. Life comes down to a coinflip, you know! Really, all our choices are meaningless in the face of chaos.""How deep! Anyway, how deep do you think these pits really are? The miners said they don't really know and...""...and they said it's too dangerous to check. Do you really think there's a Choco-Blargg like they said?""Choco-Blargg? Those are usually in lava and stuff. I think it's just a myth. Scare the little miners to bed at night.""...Yeah, I'm gonna stay up here at maximum distance just in case.""Me too. Not because I'm scared or anything, mind you..."*gloop gloop gloop*
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Topic: MKL21 Grand Prix-S1, R2: Choco Raceway (Turn 5-Mudslide!) (Read 18893 times)