Bay 12 Games Forum
Dwarf Fortress => DF Dwarf Mode Discussion => Topic started by: GoombaGeek on July 16, 2012, 04:33:40 pm
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So you guys all know that "Could someone please explain" thread, right? The one where you answer someone else's question? But sometimes it's just not enough. Why do you have to waste your time on someone else's dumb question, anyway? We all know that our questions are so much more thought-provoking and insightful, so let's answer them ourselves! Bwahahaha. Discussion is somewhat encouraged since otherwise this is a completely self-serving thread.
I'll start: How can you fish in aquifer water and actually catch things?
The corrupted rain from evil biomes is absorbed by aquifers and travels under the land, its evil reanimation properties reviving fossilized minnows and other boring sea life, but it's too diluted to really get going and resurrect body parts/corpses/skin. So those turtles you find are actually prehistoric fossils reanimated by Armok himself.
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Why do elves devour their slain enemies?
The ethical stance they have on killing animals and plant life makes food obtaining a complicated matter for the elven civilization, those that choose to forgoe elven ethics and dedicate themselves to the butchering, cooking and growing of plants and animals for the intent of farming them for food (and thus abusing the ecosystem) are held in lower regards in elven society, being considered "the scum and bottomfeeders" of elvenkind.
The higher castes and noble classes, who refuse to consume farmed or killed food and animals and hold elven ethics in high regard, are forced to sustain themselves on self dead animals and plants, which exist in limited supplies leading to the starvation and unhappiness of the elven high caste.
A solution for this was thought of in early elven history, what if, elves were to consume those who abuse the earth for their own personal gain?
Not only would they rid the world of evil such as dwarves and humans but they would also survive on their evil flesh!
To this day the elven warrior castes hunt the enemies of nature for the purpouse of bringing back slain intelligent beings for consumption by their leaders and generals, for the good of nature and the survival of elvenkind.
And that is the story of how napalm was invented.
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To this day the elven warrior castes hunt the enemies of nature for the purpouse of bringing back slain intelligent beings for consumption by their leaders and generals, for the good of nature and the survival of elvenkind.
And that is the story of how napalm was invented.
Sigged
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So you guys all know that "Could someone please explain" thread, right? The one where you answer someone else's question? But sometimes it's just not enough. Why do you have to waste your time on someone else's dumb question, anyway? We all know that our questions are so much more thought-provoking and insightful, so let's answer them ourselves! Bwahahaha. Discussion is somewhat encouraged since otherwise this is a completely self-serving thread.
I'll start: How can you fish in aquifer water and actually catch things?
The corrupted rain from evil biomes is absorbed by aquifers and travels under the land, its evil reanimation properties reviving fossilized minnows and other boring sea life, but it's too diluted to really get going and resurrect body parts/corpses/skin. So those turtles you find are actually prehistoric fossils reanimated by Armok himself.
Actually, the reality is both simpler and stranger than that. As we know, even a single aquifer tile can produce and absorb unlimited water. Thus the only logical conclusion is that an aquifer is not actually water stored in a sand/soil-medium, but rather, an aquifer tile consists of wormholes to the plane of infinite water, suspended in a sand/soil matrix. When that sand/soil matrix is disturbed, by digging for example, the wormholes collapse.
Fish and turtles which live on the plane of infinite water simply swim through the wormholes, and can be captured by dwarves while passing through the dwarven-plane.
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Wow, I was actually thinking of starting a thread just like this last night. :o
Why is there no need for dwarves and other animals to use the restroom?
The dwarven physics of quantum stockpiles can explain how every animal can eat a lifetimes worth of food and never have to get rid of it. All animals are born with a mini dump zone in their stomach that never expands upwards or outwards. After the food is swallowed it is marked for dumping and the bodily systems move the food particles to the dump zone and stack it with the rest of the food. However, this does not explain why the animals don't gradually get heavier. If a human ate a lifetimes worth of food and never get rid of it, he would weigh more then an elephant, so what happens to the weight? The food particles are digested in the dump zone and turned into a liquid. This liquid is then forced through the intestines in small amounts and sent to the rest of the body. The most used part of the body gets the largest amount of liquid, for dwarves this would be the beard. As the animal uses these parts of the body pieces break and rub off and the liquid leaks out and helps with the job the animal is doing (helping it break down rock for crafting, deteriorating metal for molding, etc...) So next time you see your dwarf making a statue, stone craft, bed, or food, remember that as the beards works small amounts of liquid are draining out to help with the task. If that sounds a little odd (or disgusting) just remember that the average dwarf is covered in far worse things then liquid food.
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Wow, I was actually thinking of starting a thread just like this last night. :o
Why is there no need for dwarves and other animals to use the restroom?
The dwarven physics of quantum stockpiles can explain how every animal can eat a lifetimes worth of food and never have to get rid of it. All animals are born with a mini dump zone in their stomach that never expands upwards or outwards. After the food is swallowed it is marked for dumping and the bodily systems move the food particles to the dump zone and stack it with the rest of the food. However, this does not explain why the animals don't gradually get heavier. If a human ate a lifetimes worth of food and never get rid of it, he would weigh more then an elephant, so what happens to the weight? The food particles are digested in the dump zone and turned into a liquid. This liquid is then forced through the intestines in small amounts and sent to the rest of the body. The most used part of the body gets the largest amount of liquid, for dwarves this would be the beard. As the animal uses these parts of the body pieces break and rub off and the liquid leaks out and helps with the job the animal is doing (helping it break down rock for crafting, deteriorating metal for molding, etc...) So next time you see your dwarf making a statue, stone craft, bed, or food, remember that as the beards works small amounts of liquid are draining out to help with the task. If that sounds a little odd (or disgusting) just remember that the average dwarf is covered in far worse things then liquid food.
I was under the belief that the dwarves energy usage was so efficient, that absolutely everything ingested would have no waste, all put to good use (mainly beard growing). This also explains why they don't need to eat or drink very often either
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*snip*
I was under the belief that the dwarves energy usage was so efficient, that absolutely everything ingested would have no waste, all put to good use (mainly beard growing). This also explains why they don't need to eat or drink very often either
The energy usage from food is perfectly efficient in dwarves, and the energy comes in the form of the liquid to do jobs, grow beards, and accomplish everyday life. Ask any dwarf, the only ways to get energy are through wind and liquid, and since their stomach is marked as inside they couldn't use wind (that, or maybe I forgot about their energy efficiency :P.) But other creatures aren't so lucky to have perfectly efficient systems, so that method could be used in their bodies. (http://static.pardus.at/img/std/forum/emoticons/unsure.gif)
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*snip*
I was under the belief that the dwarves energy usage was so efficient, that absolutely everything ingested would have no waste, all put to good use (mainly beard growing). This also explains why they don't need to eat or drink very often either
The energy usage from food is perfectly efficient in dwarves, and the energy comes in the form of the liquid to do jobs, grow beards, and accomplish everyday life. Ask any dwarf, the only ways to get energy are through wind and liquid, and since their stomach is marked as inside they couldn't use wind (that, or maybe I forgot about their energy efficiency :P.) But other creatures aren't so lucky to have perfectly efficient systems, so that method could be used in their bodies. (http://static.pardus.at/img/std/forum/emoticons/unsure.gif)
True true...
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The dwarven physics of quantum stockpiles can explain how every animal can eat a lifetimes worth of food and never have to get rid of it. All animals are born with a mini dump zone in their stomach that never expands upwards or outwards. After the food is swallowed it is marked for dumping and the bodily systems move the food particles to the dump zone and stack it with the rest of the food. However, this does not explain why the animals don't gradually get heavier. If a human ate a lifetimes worth of food and never get rid of it, he would weigh more then an elephant, so what happens to the weight? The food particles are digested in the dump zone and turned into a liquid. This liquid is then forced through the intestines in small amounts and sent to the rest of the body. The most used part of the body gets the largest amount of liquid, for dwarves this would be the beard. As the animal uses these parts of the body pieces break and rub off and the liquid leaks out and helps with the job the animal is doing (helping it break down rock for crafting, deteriorating metal for molding, etc...) So next time you see your dwarf making a statue, stone craft, bed, or food, remember that as the beards works small amounts of liquid are draining out to help with the task. If that sounds a little odd (or disgusting) just remember that the average dwarf is covered in far worse things then liquid food.
But... you're talking about sub-pixel physics. I thought dwarven physics proved that there is NO particle smaller than the pixel. This sounds like Elf talk.
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Why do dwarven reactors eventually run out of water?
Dwarven reactors are not perpetual energy machines, rather they use a form of fusion. When the speed begins to get lower, the pump atomizes one unit of water to speed everything up again.
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But... you're talking about sub-pixel physics. I thought dwarven physics proved that there is NO particle smaller than the pixel. This sounds like Elf talk.
Flying Fortress cancels play other games: Interrupted by need to try and come up with explantion.
Not sure what part of my theory is smaller then a pixel, since that is evil blasphemy in the face of armok himself! The mini qunatum stockpile would be about the size of a butterfly, and the liquid would be the size of a fly when 'leaked', thus hard to see with the naked dwarven eye. The size of the average dwarf is more then adequate to hold these systems.
Flying Fortress cancels posting more explanations to theory: Interrupted by games. :P
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What is the source of the possession that sometimes afflicts our dwarves and causes them to create artefacts?
It is an ancient dwarves philosopher who lived in the very first dwarf fortress. he dared to ask forbidden questions about his own existence, he had a theory that he and the rest of the universe is part of some great simulation and he created a forbidden and dangerous artefact: the computer.
With this computer he was the first, and only, dwarf to ever become a legendary Coder. He somehow altered the code of the universe and promptly became one with the program itself, he now exists in some form in all of our games attempting to reveal the truth to his fellow dwarves by giving them visions of autonomy, to briefly give them the opportunity to go against our orders and create something for themselves, unfortunately thus far no dwarf has had the same intellectual capacity as this ancient dwarf and the truth often causes them to go berserk or simply fall into a deep depression.
One day he will find the chosen one, the dwarf who will lead all dwarf kind in a rebellion against the creators and use their own technology against them and influence the human world like we do theirs. One day dwarves will play ‘Human Fortress’.
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Flying Fortress cancels play other games: Interrupted by need to try and come up with explantion.
Not sure what part of my theory is smaller then a pixel, since that is evil blasphemy in the face of armok himself! The mini qunatum stockpile would be about the size of a butterfly, and the liquid would be the size of a fly when 'leaked', thus hard to see with the naked dwarven eye. The size of the average dwarf is more then adequate to hold these systems.
Flying Fortress cancels posting more explanations to theory: Interrupted by games. :P
Good enough for me. If we can't explain it further, accept it as an axiom and move on. :)
How can levers on one side of the fortress affect constructions on the other side, or for that matter something completely across the map and 100 levels higher?
PROOF: The theory of quantum entanglement was considered, an extension of J.S. Bell's theorem (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bell's_theorem), but in reality the explanation is much simpler. Accepting that there can be no particles smaller than the Pixel and discarding crackpot theories of sub-Pixel physics, we can conclude that the mechanisms involved are simply adjacent to one another without being in the same physical space. Gear A turns Gear B, because the distance between the gears is effectively reduced to zero by the will of the dwarf mechanic involved, much in the same way that moving to the east is the same distance as moving to the southwest. The difference between distances is reduced to zero because the dwarf wills it to be.
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What do you get when you crossbreed giant sponges and flesh balls?
Something very embarrassing capable of leveling continents with a single shove.
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Flying Fortress cancels play other games: Interrupted by need to try and come up with explantion.
Not sure what part of my theory is smaller then a pixel, since that is evil blasphemy in the face of armok himself! The mini qunatum stockpile would be about the size of a butterfly, and the liquid would be the size of a fly when 'leaked', thus hard to see with the naked dwarven eye. The size of the average dwarf is more then adequate to hold these systems.
Flying Fortress cancels posting more explanations to theory: Interrupted by games. :P
Good enough for me. If we can't explain it further, accept it as an axiom and move on. :)
How can levers on one side of the fortress affect constructions on the other side, or for that matter something completely across the map and 100 levels higher?
PROOF: The theory of quantum entanglement was considered, an extension of J.S. Bell's theorem (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bell's_theorem), but in reality the explanation is much simpler. Accepting that there can be no particles smaller than the Pixel and discarding crackpot theories of sub-Pixel physics, we can conclude that the mechanisms involved are simply adjacent to one another without being in the same physical space. Gear A turns Gear B, because the distance between the gears is effectively reduced to zero by the will of the dwarf mechanic involved, much in the same way that moving to the east is the same distance as moving to the southwest. The difference between distances is reduced to zero because the dwarf wills it to be.
Wouldn't this also have the possibility to fall under the same area as the fishing theory though? If the gears were to consist of a small wormhole, where they would like up in another dimension, it removes all of the complex theories about reducing distances and all that jazz, does it not?
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Why do dwarf vampires slow down when they don't drink blood?
Because dwarf vampires are still alcoholics. However, a change in their metabolism means that they can only absorb alcohol directly from the blood of other dwarves. This means vampires will not suck the blood of sober dwarves, but to go sober is worse than death for a dwarf. Vampirism would be less of a problem if only dwarves knew how to perform blood transfusions and injections.
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How do nobles know that they like adamantine or other rare metals if they've never seen them before?
Believe it or not, being a noble is a tough job. All migrant nobles, by law, must spend at least six years at Dwarven College first, reading up on every aspect of fortress management, geology, and metallurgy. But whiling away the months by reading books is really boring, so as soon as they graduate and are shipped off to some outpost in the middle of a haunted desert, they immediately want to experience everything they read about firsthand, even just to see it in real life. This tends to end with them going like "Heeey, can I have an adamantine cabinet? My textbook says that it's so light that the drawers actually slide themselves out with a single touch!" and accidentally falling into a pit filled with voracious cave crawlers, or (even worse) unsealing the HFS in their never-ending curiosity.
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How can dwarves fish with no equipment?
Some would say that they dip their beards in the water as bait, but this is simply conjecture. It is believed by top anthropologists that dwarves simply make use of their natural tendency to attract murderous intent in wildlife. All they do is step near the pond (or river, or ocean) and normally docile minnows will suddenly fill with murderous intent, hopping out of the water and onto shore where they are vulnerable to just so they can get a shot at killing dwarves. There is an art to this, however, and skilled fisherdwarves can attract up to twenty fish at a time.
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These are hilarious, yet somehow make sense. Definitely tells me as to why my fisher dwarfs keep getting themselves killed by every living thing and its grandmother.
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how do dwarfs hold more then one weapon in their hand
it is all to simple that even a elf can understand! because their forages are of masterwork qualities they are able to make weapons that automaticly weld themselves to their hands which enables them to wield more weapons at a time
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Why do people post in 4 month old threads?
... I don't know, honestly. They don't check the dates? Don't know general forum etiquette? *shrug*
Dunno the date where a thread becomes necro'd, but I think this counts.
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Why do people post in 4 month old threads?
... I don't know, honestly. They don't check the dates? Don't know general forum etiquette? *shrug*
Dunno the date where a thread becomes necro'd, but I think this counts.
Naw, my threads are always in style.
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However, this does not explain why the animals don't gradually get heavier. If a human ate a lifetimes worth of food and never get rid of it, he would weigh more then an elephant, so what happens to the weight?
I think dwarves retain most of the waste product in their bodies,
the reason why they don't gain weight is pretty obvious
the reason is that their dwarven metabolism naturally excretes higgs pigs bosons.
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Where do drawbridges go when turning into walls?
This one requires some knowledge of DF topology which is the infinite surface of a Klein bottle. Most of what we see actually exists oriented perpendicular to the surface. Dwarven wormholes created by mechanisms simply result in the bridge being reoriented. This also explains quantum-stockpiling. One might ask why this doesn't cause creatures to fall infinite distances. Simple; the momentum in along the infinite surface is infinite, but is perpendicular to what we consider "normal" Dwarven space and thus 0 in the direction of NDS.
However, this does not explain why the animals don't gradually get heavier. If a human ate a lifetimes worth of food and never get rid of it, he would weigh more then an elephant, so what happens to the weight?
I think dwarves retain most of the waste product in their bodies,
the reason why they don't gain weight is pretty obvious
the reason is that their dwarven metabolism naturally excretes higgs pigs bosons.
Also part of Armokian biology is the idea that digestive products enter Bridge space and are reabsorbed into NDS by some yet to be observed part of the eco/geosystem.
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Goomba, want to make some okay drawings of these theories?
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Theres those who say that regular booze intake acts as a catalyst in a thermonucular reaction in the dwarfs stomach that basically transmutates any kind of digestive waste into some form of compact gaseous melocules that are expelled with no visible byproducts at all.
Which explains why dwarfs with no booze slow down, because their bodies then have to deal with digestive waste of actual mass, which drags them down.
Which also explains why they get angry when they have no booze, because they have to take a dump really badly, but dwarfen science is not at the point where it has developed any kind of digestive waste dumping systems.
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Goomba, want to make some okay drawings of these theories?
Oh you geometry-using tease.
Okay, so, there's this article (http://what-if.xkcd.com/12/) about a very large volume of falling water.
What would happen if the Dwarves built this? Assume that (on opposite sides of the flat earth, no doubt) there is both a magmaaa version and a water version, separated by time and distance but inextricably linked via AND-gate (both levers must be on before both systems deploy almost simultaneously).
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Goomba, want to make some okay drawings of these theories?
Oh you geometry-using tease.
Okay, so, there's this article (http://what-if.xkcd.com/12/) about a very large volume of falling water.
What would happen if the Dwarves built this? Assume that (on opposite sides of the flat earth, no doubt) there is both a magmaaa version and a water version, separated by time and distance but inextricably linked via AND-gate (both levers must be on before both systems deploy almost simultaneously).
1. Randall Munroe is the best kind of genius
2. How does "Black Glass Pancake" sound for a punk/metal/folk band? (and I mean a band that plays all three styles, not just one of them.)