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[Monk321654]

Because Armok likes things to keep moving along and killing things.

What if the elves brought along trees like they did a long time ago?

[Komra]

Unfortunately, the Ent Union made war on the elves for transporting their brethren without permission. Doing so would violate the Eastern Mahogany Grove Accords and result in the magical conversion of all trees into animate beings. Normally, the dwarves would LOVE for this to occur, thus defeating two of their greatest enemies, but then they discovered charcoal. Apparently, ent corpses don't burn as well.

So, where's the Dwarfakiin?

[Monk321654]

Giants killed the Dwarfakiin. Because Giant Beats Dragon. Or so I've seen.

What happens when Urist McJohnson decides to start doing SCIENCE?!

[TSTwizby]

Does that even need an answer? FUN of course! even more so if they do !!SCIENCE!!.

How can a goblin steal a baby from its mother without the mother noticing over and over again? You'd think they'd learn to pay more attention to their kids, considering how much they complain once they notice...

[GoombaGeek]

Giants killed the Dwarfakiin. Because Giant Beats Dragon. Or so I've seen.

What happens when Urist McJohnson decides to start doing SCIENCE?!

He makes an asbestos mine, which unfortunately insulates any potential ‼Science‼ into xSciencex. Then he completes a minecart logistics system that captures a forgotten beast which shoots dust and it happens to unleash the dust on the entire fortress.

IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE

[therealmarauder]

How can a goblin steal a baby from its mother without the mother noticing over and over again? You'd think they'd learn to pay more attention to their kids, considering how much they complain once they notice...

Dwarves believe strongly in independence. A baby disappearing is a sign of independence, and a source of pride. It's the theft of the baby from the fortress, very nearly resembling death, from their perspective, that so bothers the dwarves.

Why does burning coal in an iron bin create an eternal flame?

[GreatWyrmGold]

*facepalm* I totally missed that you can make metal mechanisms. Your first objection to wooden  ones applies 10x more to stone though. Lets see you make a  practical stone latch. Meenwhile I'll be over here making one in a few minutes with a pocket knife and a few sticks. Also wood works fine for gears. Hell that's what most water wheels and windmills were made with IRL

Dwarves have metal tools, rock is stronger than wood and lacks a grain you have to worry about, and there's no cultural issues about dwarves and stone. The opposite, in fact.
And dwarves do make waterwheels and windmills out of wood.

How can a goblin steal a baby from its mother without the mother noticing over and over again? You'd think they'd learn to pay more attention to their kids, considering how much they complain once they notice...

Dwarves believe strongly in independence. A baby disappearing is a sign of independence, and a source of pride. It's the theft of the baby from the fortress, very nearly resembling death, from their perspective, that so bothers the dwarves.

Why does burning coal in an iron bin create an eternal flame?

It doesn't, it never did. Burning lignite did, because it would never melt, but I hear that issue got fixed.

Why can't I think of a good question? Oh, yeah, I answer all of them before hitting Post.

[pisskop]

*facepalm* I totally missed that you can make metal mechanisms. Your first objection to wooden  ones applies 10x more to stone though. Lets see you make a  practical stone latch. Meenwhile I'll be over here making one in a few minutes with a pocket knife and a few sticks. Also wood works fine for gears. Hell that's what most water wheels and windmills were made with IRL

Dwarves have metal tools, rock is stronger than wood and lacks a grain you have to worry about, and there's no cultural issues about dwarves and stone. The opposite, in fact.
And dwarves do make waterwheels and windmills out of wood.

How can a goblin steal a baby from its mother without the mother noticing over and over again? You'd think they'd learn to pay more attention to their kids, considering how much they complain once they notice...

Dwarves believe strongly in independence. A baby disappearing is a sign of independence, and a source of pride. It's the theft of the baby from the fortress, very nearly resembling death, from their perspective, that so bothers the dwarves.

Why does burning coal in an iron bin create an eternal flame?

It doesn't, it never did. Burning lignite did, because it would never melt, but I hear that issue got fixed.

Why can't I think of a good question? Oh, yeah, I answer all of them before hitting Post.

Doesn't this simply ruen the fun?

[Blizzlord]

Yeah, it does.

Why do people quote others when they answer them? Haven't seen that on any other forum.

[GoombaGeek]

Yeah, it does.

Why do people quote others when they answer them? Haven't seen that on any other forum.

Courtesy. I do it all the time. It helps with the flow of the conversation (except when a Quote Pyramid forms).

Why does the topology of the world form itself into perfectly flat layers attached by (presumably grippy, because 45 degrees is tough to just walk up) diagonal ramps?

[Komra]

Armok really liked the pictures he saw of terraced rice paddies. He realized at the last minute that it would be hard to navigate such  terrain, so he threw together some physics that allow creatures to rapidly warp themselves upwards or downwards at the cost of comparable energy to walking that slope.

Why do vampires' stats double and then max out upon transforming?

[gunpowdertea]

Why does the topology of the world form itself into perfectly flat layers attached by (presumably grippy, because 45 degrees is tough to just walk up) diagonal ramps?

Because programmers shy away from floating point numbers (ever since the infamous Pentium problems) and like to round to the next integer?

Why, oh why treat Dwarves burrow assignments as "suggestions" and, instead of fleeing from the Goblin Elite Crossbow Goblin linger around, trying to shoot at it? (Stoopid hunters!)

Edit: Dang! Ninja'd while thinking of the question!

Why do vampires' stats double and then max out upon transforming?

They gain all of the experience of their Sire. After that, they are vampires and traditionalists by design and do not like (or learn) new things.

[pisskop]

hunters have an obligation and unsatible desire to bag the next 'big(ger) kill' and gobs marksman 1v1 is pretty impressive.

Burrows are like modern governments restrictions.  No drugs becomes no drugs if you can't avoid detection, and no tresspassing means 'fun stuff past this line'

in short you tell them no as an authority and the adventureous will do it because...


[edit:]  vampo stats double because they catch the rager virus.  These stats max becausev twillight vamps are gay (figulatively) and anne rice 'Lestat' vamps are gay (literally).
[/edit:]

Why does Armok see fit to present the world in ANCII graphics?

[gunpowdertea]

Why does Armok see fit to present the world in ANCII graphics?

He actually doesn't. Our feeble minds are just unable to see HIS full awesomeness!

Didn't you mean ASCII?

[pisskop]

I did.  Where happens to any eternal portion of a dwarf when they die?