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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 449075 times)

WanderingKid

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How is a screw pump that is (presumably) based off of Archimedes' screw able to pressurize water?

Big screw in, little pipe out, dwarven strength, and Armok's blessing.

Why oh why can't I seem to make my videos under 30 minutes in length?!

mek42

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Why oh why can't I seem to make my videos under 30 minutes in length?!

Because you think we all need to see you eat, drink and sleep before doing whatever it is you are videoing.

Why can regular stones be cut, clogging up the gem menu?
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"Is that the game with the blinky characters and no pictures?  Maybe you do have Asperger's." - My wife after I mentioned my excitement over the elves bringing by caravan a whole bunch of wood after my deforestation project was neglected due to a near-tantrum spiral and total loss of my initial seven and a bunch of immigrants.

acetech09

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Because you're clearly not having much Fun.

Why did my king arrive wearing a masterwork thong?
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I challenge you to a game of 'Hide the Sausage', to the death.

mek42

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Because an artifact thong was not available.

What is your queen wearing?
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"Is that the game with the blinky characters and no pictures?  Maybe you do have Asperger's." - My wife after I mentioned my excitement over the elves bringing by caravan a whole bunch of wood after my deforestation project was neglected due to a near-tantrum spiral and total loss of my initial seven and a bunch of immigrants.

WanderingKid

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Because an artifact thong was not available.

What is your queen wearing?

They're the same dwarf, just depends on the tuck... of the beard.

I wonder if dwarven beards extend to... all areas...?

acetech09

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The *king consort* is fully clothed. :(

Why is the king consort fully clothed?

edit: ninja'd by WK.
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I challenge you to a game of 'Hide the Sausage', to the death.

kero42

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  • Das sind mir unbekannte Blumen.
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The *king consort* is fully clothed. :(

Why is the king consort fully clothed?


So as to not subtract from the kings' magnificence and glory. Alternatively, she's the sensible, less dworfy of the couple.


They're the same dwarf, just depends on the tuck... of the beard.

I wonder if dwarven beards extend to... all areas...?

Of course! If a dwarf's beard was to not cover their bodies, then their nakedness would cause instant blindness to all who looked upon them.

Why do the gods never interact with their worshippers in more conventional ways? You know, apart from the whole "raising the dead/ drinking blood/ werechinchillasim" thing?
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Something I find interesting and thought I should share: DF from scratch: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=127552.0

Mr Space Cat

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Because it's funny.

Why do humans live in small wood shacks with nothing more than a dirt floor and a bag of miscellaneous plants?
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Made a new account that I use instead of this one. Don't message this one, I'm probably not gonna use it.

New account: Spehss _

Graknorke

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Because unlike real-world humans, Slaves to Armok humans despise anything new. Subsequently they never invent anything and just stick to what they know. What they know isn't much.

Why have no species invented any drugs, not even the elves? You would think that they would know something about plants with painkillers or hallucinogens in; or that dwarves would have discovered alcohol as an antiseptic.
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Cultural status:
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Urist MacNoob

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Because unlike real-world humans, Slaves to Armok humans despise anything new. Subsequently they never invent anything and just stick to what they know. What they know isn't much.

Why have no species invented any drugs, not even the elves? You would think that they would know something about plants with painkillers or hallucinogens in; or that dwarves would have discovered alcohol as an antiseptic.

Would that mean that Congress is made up of DF humans?
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Coldmonkey: "The idea that having flaming tools and introducing them to the intimate workings of someone you don't get along with is much too human for these forums. I mean, it's not really that hard, is it? Anyone can wield a torch, it doesn't prove anything. Wearing flaming clothes on the other hand, or better yet, wearing nothing at all and being on fire... that is the essence of dwarfish behavior."

InfinityOrNone

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Because unlike real-world humans, Slaves to Armok humans despise anything new. Subsequently they never invent anything and just stick to what they know. What they know isn't much.

Why have no species invented any drugs, not even the elves? You would think that they would know something about plants with painkillers or hallucinogens in; or that dwarves would have discovered alcohol as an antiseptic.

Elves refuse to process nature into an unnatural form, instead relying on natural mushrooms to, "commune with the Spirit of the Land," and dwarves believe the use of alcohol for any reason but drinking to be breaking oath with Armok and, thus, deserving of a Hammering.

Why do my ghosts keep killing the guys in charge of engraving memorial slabs?
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UnlawfullyDeranged

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    • 'Best War Animals'  'Clocks'

Because it is not you, but the whim of Armok that determines the time and method of a fort's demise.

Why is glass magma-safe?
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Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!
Just no cheesemakers.

Greiger

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Because the glass inherits the properties of it's sand base materiel.   Specifically the infinitely regenerating property.  When magma melts glass the glass just spontaneously regenerates itself as fast as the magma melts it.   Just like what happens when a dwarf collects sand from a tile.  Everyone knows only a mighty icon in the shape of a pickaxe can disrupt sand's magical regenerating powers.

Why are all living creatures made up of spheres?
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Disclaimer: Not responsible for dwarven deaths from the use or misuse of this post.
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I don't need friends!! I've got knives!!!

Gentlefish

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Because the world already took cubes.

InfinityOrNone

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Why do we even have bismuth bronze when nobody in the history of DF has ever found it even the slightest bit useful?
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