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[CaptainMcClellan]

One-way hinges. They're designed to come off easily from one direction so that the dwarves can use them as shields in times of emergency, but to stand up to the forces of hell from the other side. It just happens the Urist McBehaviourProblems is on the detachable side.

(( I got nothing, if you'd like to take a crack at a better explanation, by all means go for it. ))

[Tawa]

My theory: Dwarven doors also seem to take forever to be made, not mentioning the fact an entire tree must be used to make one. Therefore, dwarven doors have a beard scanner, which can temporarily be disabled to make way for human diplomats. However, coming armies are able to bypass it due to their hippie energy/intense hatred of all that is good.

This also explains why dim-witted dwarves can "keep doors shut tight"; the scanner can be used to ignore animal-beards.

Why are glass doors called "portals", and why aren't they orange and blue and don't actually teleport dwarves?

[FallenAngel]

They're called portals because dwarves believe that if you can see what's behind a door, the door is a magical barrier. They don't teleport dwarves due to a lack of way to dye clear glass orange or vibrant blue.

EDIT: Forgot a question, my bad.
Where does all of the grass come from? It seems illogical that if you have one single tile of grass but hundreds of above-ground soil that the whole plain could be covered in grass after a time. This is dwarf fortress, though.

[Tawa]

¡¿Porqué no tienes un especulación?!

[blazing glory]

Could someone explain where the forumites started using the term's "urist" and how they decided that dwarfs are obsessed with socks?

[Tawa]

[Book One, the Book of Dwarven Blood, 42:11]
And the Lord Armok did state:

"I hast brought thou out of the Elven-Lands, out of the house of Bondage. Thou shalt follow these commands, to repay:

1. Thou shalt wear socks at all times, for an Uncovered Foot is a disgrace upon your Lord Armok.

2. Thou shalt be named Urist, or, should thou not be Urist, thou shalt idolize the name of Urist, for it is the favoured name of your Lord Armok.

3. Thou shalt consume only booze, and if thou shalt not, thou shalt drink blood;.should ye not drink Booze nor Blood, then thou shalt pay for it in the name of your Lord Armok.

4. If thou art female, and thou art married, thou shalt have a child every year for the Grace of your Lord Armok.

5. Thou shalt not hold Goblins as friends, for they art the work of the Elven God and should be killed.

6. Thou shalt not build vertical pipes, for Vertical Pipes resemble the Trees of the Elven God.

7. Thou shalt hold Kittens in the highest regard; thou shalt not adopt Kittens, for Armok's greatest creation is the Kitten and thou shalt allow the Kittens to adopt Thou.

8. Thou shalt not build Towns, nor Retreats, nor Towers; thou shalt build Fortresses, for the glory of Armok your Lord.

9. Thou shalt have no Blood, nor a God, before or after Me, for I am selfish and Greedy.

10. Thou shalt build Overly Elaborate Contraptions to smite the Elven-God's Hidden Fun Stuff, for Armok decrees Fun must be had by all.



Why did I just write the Ten Dwarfmandments?

EDIT: Well, I guess that excerpt was so stunning you're all speechless. I should write a Dwarven Bible.

It shall contain the Bible's number of times "slay" is said, but give or take the eleventh power.

(It uses it like 300+ times, if memory serves)

[reality.auditor]

Could someone explain where the forumites started using the term's "urist" and how they decided that dwarfs are obsessed with socks?

I don't know about socks, but here is original Urist.

[DAPARROT]

Could someone explain where the forumites started using the term's "urist" and how they decided that dwarfs are obsessed with socks?

because of all the XXpigtailfibersocksXX

why dont keas steal beards to disguise themselves to steal more stuff without you noticing?

[flabort]

They can't get close enough to the beard stockpile. Which no sane player ever puts near the surface.

Why do certain crops turn red? WHY CAN'T I PLANT THAT THERE, I'VE PLANTED IT THERE BEFORE!

[ptb_ptb]

Somebody explained crop rotation to your dorfs.

Probably an Elf saboteur.

[Baffler]

Dwarves' underground crops all release toxin-producing spores that only members of their own species are susceptible to to prevent overcrowding. These spores bud at certain times of the year to cause the old plants to die back and make way for new growth. "Fertilizer" is simply a chemical compound that neutralizes this toxin, but it isn't sufficiently effective to overcome the levels of toxin exuded when the spores bud. Above ground crops don't need to compete for space or nutrients as much, and can be grown at any time of the year.

Where does the water that runs through fortifications at the edge of the map disappear to?

[Knit tie]

Dwarves' underground crops all release toxin-producing spores that only members of their own species are susceptible to to prevent overcrowding. These spores bud at certain times of the year to cause the old plants to die back and make way for new growth. "Fertilizer" is simply a chemical compound that neutralizes this toxin, but it isn't sufficiently effective to overcome the levels of toxin exuded when the spores bud. Above ground crops don't need to compete for space or nutrients as much, and can be grown at any time of the year.

Where does the water that runs through fortifications at the edge of the map disappear to?

The primal chaos at the edges of known reality, of course.

Why does my militia commander cry after biting through a goblin's brain?

[ICBM pilot]

He was on a fat free diet.
What made a cave fish woman think that she would be a blowgunner?

[ptb_ptb]

Her husband had told her to get good at blow jobs.

Why do dwarf caravans arrive on the farthest side of the map and travel over the mountains to reach the trade depot?

[Knit tie]

Her husband had told her to get good at blow jobs.

Why do dwarf caravans arrive on the farthest side of the map and travel over the mountains to reach the trade depot?

Only pansy elves take the easy routes through the forests.

Why do all the people my adventurer talks to constantly spit?