Bay 12 Games Forum
Dwarf Fortress => DF Dwarf Mode Discussion => Topic started by: SixOfSpades on May 21, 2012, 10:30:17 pm
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Suggestion threads. We've all seen them. We've all commented on them. Some of us have even started one or two. This is a suggestion thread . . . for bad suggestions. Changes that you don't want to see. Not things that will make the game harder--just worse.
1) Cats should reproduce by asexual budding.
2) Dwarves should get bad thoughts for wearing the same clothes that they had on the day before.
3) Standard Dwarf Fortress music replaced with dubstep.
4a) If you reach a population of 200 dwarves before the King arrives, the balance of power shifts and all professions with at least 10 members will form labor unions. These unions will make sure the work is distributed equally ("Oh, you wanted the ☼Legendary☼ Weaponsmith to make that axe? Sorry, it's Competent Kadol's turn"), go On Break twice as often as other dwarves, and will declare a strike if they think their living quarters are too shabby.
4b) If you attain Mountainhome status before reaching 200 dwarves, when the King comes he'll bring lots of new ideas to make the workspace more nimble and dynamic in a changing world market. Get ready for monthy Kaizen events, wherein a Clothier, Fish Cleaner, Miner, Beekeeper, and Thresher will tell the Legendary Stonecrafter that he could do his job much more efficiently if he just color-coded everything in his workshop.
5) Necromancers and Evil biomes should affect plants as well as animals.
6) Necromancers and Evil biomes should affect the earth itself.
7) Elves bring more cloth.
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Poop.
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8 ) Giant firebreathing dragon-badgers.
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3) Standard Dwarf Fortress music replaced with dubstep.
Dorfstep?
My (non) suggestion: Dwarven election cycles, complete with advertising via engravings on the walls, protest rallies and propaganda.
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"Vote Urist! He promises carp-free rivers for all!"
"No, vote Urist! He mandates chairs!"
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"Vote Urist! He promises carp-free rivers for all!"
"No, vote Urist! He mandates chairs!"
"Vote Kol Horsebreath, Will mandate new socks for all fort populace"
"Vote for Urist McMayor, Promises to address the high mortality rate of newborns with mothers in active military service"
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9) Caged dragons can power magma forges.
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9) Caged dragons can power magma forges.
That...would actually be pretty cool.
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I think we have two types of jokes going on in one thread. What have you done :P
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10) 3/4 of all current workshops become DLC that must be purchased for 5.00$ each(or only the low price of 30.00$ if you buy them all together in the special bundle pack).
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You must have an active internet connection to Toady's laptop in order to play.
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Why is there no !Pun! In this thread?
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4a) If you reach a population of 200 dwarves before the King arrives, the balance of power shifts and all professions with at least 10 members will form labor unions. These unions will make sure the work is distributed equally ("Oh, you wanted the ☼Legendary☼ Weaponsmith to make that axe? Sorry, it's Competent Kadol's turn"), go On Break twice as often as other dwarves, and will declare a strike if they think their living quarters are too shabby.
I'd play the shit out of this update.
No, really. I would.
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10) 3/4 of all current workshops become DLC that must be purchased for 5.00$ each(or only the low price of 30.00$ if you buy them all together in the special bundle pack).
Masons workshop, Crafterdorfs workshop, Cerpentry and Forges should cost 30$ / each, as they grant a big advantage to the buyer.
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11) Make it run on I-pod touch.
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Wot, no open source? -m(^U^)m-
No, wait, I have an even better idea: instead of open source, Toady should totally sell the rights for DF to a big-brand games developer. That way, we'd have V 1.0 in no time! With 3D graphics! \o/
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Wot, no open source? -m(^U^)m-
No, wait, I have an even better idea: instead of open source, Toady should totally sell the rights for DF to a big-brand games developer. That way, we'd have V 1.0 in no time! With 3D graphics! \o/
And then, every week have to download incremental patches of exponential size - starting at 250 Mb - just to get the game to embark.
Darkening Kaos, CIS, LUH.
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...You know what would be cool? Dwarf Fortress MMO, that's what!
Gentlemen, let me present: Word of Dwarf Fortress! Epic FB mount DLC now for sale for the low, low price of $50! 60 days playing time for $ 30. Please note that game versions without the Rise of Urist expansion pack (available from all major retailers for $150) are incompatible with current-version server.
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Doctor strange moods...
No that would be awesome, imagine making dorf a great killing machine by replacing his bones with adamantine!
Hmm i think i heard that somewhere...
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Doctor strange moods...
No that would be awesome, imagine making dorf a great killing machine by replacing his bones with adamantine!
Hmm i think i heard that somewhere...
Sir, that's awesome.
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Justin Bieber must be reproduced in the game as immoral... sorry, immortal master of horror and hell!
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Doctor strange moods...
No that would be awesome, imagine making dorf a great killing machine by replacing his bones with adamantine!
Hmm i think i heard that somewhere...
Sir, that's awesome.
As I know my dorfs, my Macelords will probably get an artifical soap Arm, with the engraving of Urist McSomeone putting on his favorite pair of socks.
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Doctor strange moods...
No that would be awesome, imagine making dorf a great killing machine by replacing his bones with adamantine!
Hmm i think i heard that somewhere...
Sir, that's awesome.
As I know my dorfs, my Macelords will probably get an artifical soap Arm, with the engraving of Urist McSomeone putting on his favorite pair of socks.
Not your macelord - your cheesemakers.
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Doctor strange moods...
No that would be awesome, imagine making dorf a great killing machine by replacing his bones with adamantine!
Hmm i think i heard that somewhere...
Sir, that's awesome.
As I know my dorfs, my Macelords will probably get an artifical soap Arm, with the engraving of Urist McSomeone putting on his favorite pair of socks.
Not your macelord - your cheesemakers.
Well - a cheesmaker with an arm made of soap is more useful then a macelord with an arm made of soap.
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Premium-priced DLC.
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Doctor strange moods...
No that would be awesome, imagine making dorf a great killing machine by replacing his bones with adamantine!
Hmm i think i heard that somewhere...
No. Replacing the bones with adamantine would be terrible. They break easily. Have you not replaced Dwarf bones with adamantine before?!!
1) Cats should reproduce by asexual budding.
2) Dwarves should get bad thoughts for wearing the same clothes that they had on the day before.
3) Standard Dwarf Fortress music replaced with dubstep.
4a) If you reach a population of 200 dwarves before the King arrives, the balance of power shifts and all professions with at least 10 members will form labor unions. These unions will make sure the work is distributed equally ("Oh, you wanted the ☼Legendary☼ Weaponsmith to make that axe? Sorry, it's Competent Kadol's turn"), go On Break twice as often as other dwarves, and will declare a strike if they think their living quarters are too shabby.
4b) If you attain Mountainhome status before reaching 200 dwarves, when the King comes he'll bring lots of new ideas to make the workspace more nimble and dynamic in a changing world market. Get ready for monthy Kaizen events, wherein a Clothier, Fish Cleaner, Miner, Beekeeper, and Thresher will tell the Legendary Stonecrafter that he could do his job much more efficiently if he just color-coded everything in his workshop.
5) Necromancers and Evil biomes should affect plants as well as animals.
6) Necromancers and Evil biomes should affect the earth itself.
7) Elves bring more cloth.
1. More food
2. I have more clothes
3. Mute and replace with old Dorf music
4a. Screw the monarchy. I want unions!
b. But... Dwarves are already colour coded!
5. They should. I do believe an upcoming update is Dwarf Fortresses themselves to affect biomes... And making them evil is one of the proposed effects.
6. See 5.
7. Don't mind, need to make more clothes because of 2.
Try harder
Premium-priced DLC.
1. ?
You win
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why are doctor fey moods and dragon powered forges in the joke thread!?!
This is Dwarf Fortress guys. Where sanity belongs to the elves.
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Higher birthrate, births from non-married dwarves, and children have to age a proper thirty six years (Dwarves live twice as long as humans makes sense they grow twice as slow) to do any jobs.
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Poop.
Urist McDoctorpants admired a fine stool lately...
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All engravers require a hammer and chisel
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8 ) Giant firebreathing dragon-badgers.
I once gave badgers firebreathing and such, then forgot to mod the raws back. I embarked atop 5 giant badgers. That was a very fast collapse.
On-topic: New profession: Barber. Dorfs begin to slow down after a year when their beards grow too long. Receiving a haircut causes unhappy thoughts. Having ungroomed beards cause negative thoughts.
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Hammers are needed for metalsmithing.
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Every dwarf demands a complete living quarters, including kitchen, dining room, office and one bedroom per single dwarf (including children)/married couple in their family. Within these premises, they require furniture, including cabinets, chairs, beds for each dwarf, cooking tools, and a workshop for each of the dwarves' most skilled profession. Furthermore, if any part of the map is powered, each "housing unit" for the dwarves must contain a wood/glass coffer, and the dwarves spend most of their days sitting and staring aimlessly at said coffer.
Or
Every dwarf is able to make mandates.
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There is only wagons.
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mining takes a realistic amount of time to do.
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4a) If you reach a population of 200 dwarves before the King arrives, the balance of power shifts and all professions with at least 10 members will form labor unions. These unions will make sure the work is distributed equally ("Oh, you wanted the ☼Legendary☼ Weaponsmith to make that axe? Sorry, it's Competent Kadol's turn"), go On Break twice as often as other dwarves, and will declare a strike if they think their living quarters are too shabby.5) Necromancers and Evil biomes should affect plants as well as animals.
6) Necromancers and Evil biomes should affect the earth itself.
Echoing the sentiments of several before me, these are actually not bad ideas. They could make the game a bit tougher, but they are fairly reasonable and that labor union idea almost seems like something that WOULD be in the game. And, let's be honest, who is playing DF and expecting (or even desiring) that it will get easier.
EDIT: Just thought of an idea. Original dwarves and dwarves from previous migration waves get unhappy thoughts when dwarves from newer waves take over their jobs. They begin protesting and suggesting that you just "build a wall" to prevent further waves.
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1. Bring back the dwarven economy, as it was. Who didn't like that?
2. Allow dwarves to investigate "unfortunate accidents".
3. Require that farm plots actually get watered regularly.
4. Magmatoc Convection. Your dwarves die when they should have.
5. Give goblins a pick. Why can't they tunnel to your fortress?
6. Require that pets be fed. (including war animals)
7. Get rid of almost omniesiance, let you find out what happens when the dwarves figure it out.
8. Make magma less awesome. May be too difficult to implement, but try your best.
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1. Bring back the dwarven economy, as it was. Who didn't like that?
2. Allow dwarves to investigate "unfortunate accidents"
3. Require that farm plots actually get watered regularly.
4. Magma Convection. lie your dwarves die when they should have.
5. Give goblins a pick. Why cant they tunnel to your fortress?
6. Require that pets be fed. (including war animals)
7. get rid of almost omniesiance, let you find out what happens when the dwarves figure it out.
8. Make magma less awesome. May be too difficult to implement, but try your best.
These are being added. But the DE is being remastered.
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How can you make magma less awesome!?!
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1. Bring back the dwarven economy, as it was. Who didn't like that?
2. Allow dwarves to investigate "unfortunate accidents"
3. Require that farm plots actually get watered regularly.
4. Magma Convection. lie your dwarves die when they should have.
5. Give goblins a pick. Why cant they tunnel to your fortress?
6. Require that pets be fed. (including war animals)
7. get rid of almost omniesiance, let you find out what happens when the dwarves figure it out.
8. Make magma less awesome. May be too difficult to implement, but try your best.
These are being added. But the DE is being remastered.
Digging enemies are being added? Ye gods :D
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Dwarf Collective. Every single Dwarf now needs to have the EXACT same things as the other dwarves, or else they start the mass executions.
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Uh, mine already do that. Oh, you meant all on their own? :P
Megabeasts and such simply appear, with no pausing, no warning and- actually that'd be cool with me.
Same for sieges. They just appear.
Thieves get replaced by assassins, like an ambush, but they kill ONE dwarf, then bolt. Again, no pause or warning.
Digging, magma-proof, amphibious, obsidian-proof, megabeasts that come in swarms.
Thu'um. Let the copyright war begin.
Elves raid your fortress for food.
Blood gives dwarves a bad thought. And dirt. And being wet, ever, except for baths.
When a tantrum spiral occurs, militia and the hammerer and the CotG all begin martial law, killing all tantrumers.
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Uh, mine already do that. Oh, you meant all on their own? :P
Megabeasts and such simply appear, with no pausing, no warning and- actually that'd be cool with me.
Same for sieges. They just appear.
Thieves get replaced by assassins, like an ambush, but they kill ONE dwarf, then bolt. Again, no pause or warning.
Digging, magma-proof, amphibious, obsidian-proof, megabeasts that come in swarms.
Thu'um. Let the copyright war begin.
Elves raid your fortress for food.
Blood gives dwarves a bad thought. And dirt. And being wet, ever, except for baths.
When a tantrum spiral occurs, militia and the hammerer and the CotG all begin martial law, killing all tantrumers.
BAD SUGGESTIONS, BAD ONES! These are good!
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Damnit, I'm SORRY! BUT IT WOULD JUST BE SO AWESOME!!
The thu'um thing was serious though, I'd be pissed-ish... At Elder Scrolls.
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Damnit, I'm SORRY! BUT IT WOULD JUST BE SO AWESOME!!
The thu'um thing was serious though, I'd be pissed-ish... At Elder Scrolls.
i'll begin discussion with deathsword right now
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Can he mod in Thu'um? I'd bake him cookies, but they'd go stale in the mail...
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I know I could, so he probably could too :P
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So... Two batches of cookies, and half a cake each.
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I will give you internet socks, make of adamanite, stuffed with other sockes, with a adorable kobold delivery boy. Who you can then kill for the liquid cute you can sell to Wierd for a hefty amount of money.
/references
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I understand! I feel smug and self-satisfied now.
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Okay wait, I got it,
Vezuvelas. Invaders, (or random creatures, whatever), armed with the Vezuvela. Obviously extreme bad thought and likely insanity, and to spite the player, a vezuvela rings in the music until destroyed.
Beat that
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I hear it! The bvvvvzzvzvzvvzvzvzvv of the vuvuzela! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
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Invaders, (or random creatures, whatever), armed with the Vezuvela. Obviously extreme bad thought and likely insanity.
Dwarves are already insane. So a vuvuzela siege would simply make them more insane, just to the point where they're too insane to bathe.
New bad suggestions:
In Adventure mode, you should be able to increase your odds of finding good loot by going to temples and correctly answering trivia questions about the Kardashians, Justin Beiber, and the Jersey Shore.
To make the game profitable, Toady should engage in some lucrative product placement. The text string "dwarven beer" is replaced with "Michelob," low boots are now Nikes, minecarts become Volvos, dwarven syrup is turned into Marmite, and the RNG keeps naming your military squads after professional sports teams.
Whenever a married couple are sharing a bed, the game automatically pauses and zooms the camera there.
And one good suggestion:
Every time you save your game, the "Cleaning game objects . . . " screen actually cleans up all those dozens of blood spatters left all over the place from when the humans shot a single black bear outside your fortress five years ago.
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I've never seen married couples share a bed actually, not even sure they do that. Besides, dwarves reproduce by spores anyway.
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crows and ravens spawn in more realistic-sized flocks
(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/08/08/article-0-05ED63930000044D-927_468x494.jpg)
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8ovwpE8URSo/TVQfA8TzNoI/AAAAAAAAAfo/RASV8hgec_0/s1600/Fig+1%252C+Playground+Scene.jpg)
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Dp4Za6HWAiU/TVl7uG7z0HI/AAAAAAAAAxQ/Y7SpCyaIJmA/s1600/Birds_School_attack.jpg)
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Oh man. Delicious! My marksdwarves train mostly on flying things near my fortress.
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Don't tell Loud Whispers, he will have a field day with that many ravens.
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- all constructions require yearly maintenance. This includes each and every section of wall.
- Dwarven Home Owner's Association sends liaisons limiting the color of the stone you're allowed to use on above ground constructions, complaining about the blood all over the surface and demanding trade goods for this.
- Dwarven children must be taught in school or they'll grow up unable to be assigned labors.
- Freeloaders arrive in migrant waves like vampires. They do even less than children, eat and drink twice as much, pull levers at random, make mandates and have good enough AI to avoid unfortunate accidents.
- crippling phobias implemented. "Urist McDorfy cancels Pull Cinnabar Lever, afraid of cinnabar." "He has been terrified by a statue of a bat recently." "He fears sparrows, lignite, magma and dwarves for their beards."
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Don't tell Loud Whispers, he will have a field day with that many ravens.
I'll remember to keep my daughter within arm's length. :P
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occupational accidents: woodcutters having trees fall on them or chopping into their leg, furnace operators and smiths etc recieving severe burns
farmers need sickles and scythes, farm plots need to be plowed after each harvest.
volcanic eruption pushing magma out of your magma furnace/smelter/kiln/etc
battlebread, who doesn't want battlebread. And combat muffins.
predator animals make success calculations instead of either running away or charging regardless of numbers (Giant Lion: "RUN, it's a child!")
add friendly fire for marksdwarfs
dwarves create thrash from eating/living, thrashcans are needed plus a group of sweepers/cleaners, since some dwarfs just throw it on the floor, which is now a crime, "littering"
being idle and staying in one spot for too long is a crime, "loitering"
dwarfs demand specific clothing, including gender specific, inversed for dwarves with low authority and/or tradition values
priests & religion, including sacrifices, holy days off, fasting and ridiculous mandates (in hematite thou shall only eat plump helmets, to honor the prophet Urist, who lived in a plump helmet cave when he had his visions), schisms and religious discrimination and war
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- dwarves (male and female) have not only beards and moustaches, but also a thick fur that can be shorn like trolls', to create dwarf hair clothing
- reports section also includes graphic descriptions of dwarven sex life
- new types of bee-like vermin with deadly venom ("Urist McHerbalist has been stung by a paralysis tick!")
- dwarves feel an irresistable urge to "bathe" in any water 4/7 or less deep (factor in waterfalls if you don't understand why this is a terrible idea)
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- an armor made of old Nokia phones. Simply indestructible.
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- Tools required for every single labor. Because the micromanagement of fucking fishing poles was the best part of The Settlers (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Settlers). Oh, and did I mention carrying one type of tool precludes ever using another tool or a weapon of any kind because of hidden "uniforms"?
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-Give goblin snatchers the sons and daughters of great engineers.
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- Standard bearers required for combat.
After your population reaches 50+ each squad will only fight if their is a standard bearer. If they die on the field the nearest dwarf will immediately try to pick it up regardless of what killed the previous standard bearer. If the standard is somehow damaged or stolen the entire squad will tantrum.
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Don't tell Loud Whispers, he will have a field day with that many ravens.
RUN FOR THE HILLS JOHN LEE, AND NEVER LOOK BACK!!
Ah nope, the mist took him. Shame.
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-Dwarfs form political parties that the populous must vote in, the wining party's leader is then the mayor. All members of the winning party will do no labors and instead do "politics" and attend "parliament", dwarf parliament of course not dissimilar to sparing. They will also not participate the the economy and instead pay for everything using "expenses".
-Dwarfs eat, drink, work and sleep on a daily cycle, if their bed, booze and work are not close enough together they will starve in transit.
-Dwarfs can have the "pyromaniac" trait, they are only happy if they have recently set something on fire. They enjoy burning barrels the most; mainly those filled with booze, and especially when they are in a stock pile.
-Minecarts can gain sentience and rebel against their bearded and squishy overloads.
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How is regular parliment not dissimilar to sparring?
And, I must add,
being idle and staying in one spot for too long is a crime, "loitering"
This is already a crime in my fortress, punishable by enlistment
EDIT: I got it! make giant sponges amphibious! With wings! And let the goblins ride then into battle.
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Every year in an evil biome there's a 1/8 chance that all bodies of water in the region will become corrupt for the rest of the year. Dehydrated dwarves that drink from it in desperation will become husks. Any and all mist generators will emit evil clouds instead of mist.
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- Dwarves now have the [Grazer] tag.
- Goblins now siege by constructing a tower on your embark, diverting your water sources and raiding your food and booze. They don't attack, they're just awful neighbors.
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How is regular parliment not dissimilar to sparring?
And, I must add,
being idle and staying in one spot for too long is a crime, "loitering"
This is already a crime in my fortress, punishable by enlistment
EDIT: I got it! make giant sponges amphibious! With wings! And let the goblins ride then into battle.
Technically, they already can ride sponges. [MOUNT_EXOTIC]
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- Dwarves now have the [Grazer] tag.
Yes!
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- an armor made of old Nokia phones. Simply indestructible.
heh we used to play soccer with a nokia 3310 during breaks at school. they dont make phones like that anymore.
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- Goblins now siege by constructing a tower on your embark, diverting your water sources and raiding your food and booze. They don't attack, they're just awful neighbors.
ha. my very first fort that survived the first year was one with only a handfull of lakes that froze in winter. one of the first things i learned in df was conserving water.
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Don't tell Loud Whispers, he will have a field day with that many ravens.
RUN FOR THE HILLS JOHN LEE, AND NEVER LOOK BACK!!
Ah nope, the mist took him. Shame.
Imagine your raven stockpile then. It could defeat HFS by itself with a single necro.
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Crude hand grenades with varying levels of quality and potentially devastating repercussions.
Urist McGrenadier thought he was supposed to count to 5!
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-Dwarfs can have the "pyromaniac" trait, they are only happy if they have recently set something on fire. They enjoy burning barrels the most; mainly those filled with booze, and especially when they are in a stock pile.
Actually I think having "criminals" (such as arsonists... be careful with your booze stockpiles, I guess) who show up in your fort and want to cause trouble wouldn't be a bad idea at all (since we already have stuff a bit like that with vampires). It'd certainly give the justice system more of a reason to exist if a well maintained one could deter criminals.
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- reports section also includes graphic descriptions of dwarven sex life
Oh gods.
Urist McDorf stabs Urista McDorf in the crotch with his meat spear, but the attack is deflected by the -raven leather thong- x50
Urist McDorf has collapsed from exhaustion!
Urista McDorf's nose takes the full force of the impact, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!
Urista McDorf has been struck down!
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I have a strange feeling the conversation afterwards would read like your sig.
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Dorfs stop taking offense at short jokes.
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Instead, they go into an automatic martial trance and butcher anything taller than them. Err, bad suggestions... My bad.
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-No elf merchant can resist making short jokes.
-It is a crime punished by death.
-Trees regrow at a realistic rate (30-200 years)
-Dragons mature to full size in 10years
-Dragons reproduce asexually have litters of 10+
-Prague can arrive at the fort by merchants. Infection works by spores.
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-Prague can arrive at the fort by merchants. Infection works by spores.
I guess that's one way to do a lot of construction in a short time, provided that you like gothic architecture and can deal with the tourists.
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-No elf merchant can resist making short jokes.
-It is a crime punished by death.
-Trees regrow at a realistic rate (30-200 years)
-Dragons mature to full size in 10years
-Dragons reproduce asexually have litters of 10+
-Prague can arrive at the fort by merchants. Infection works by spores.
This is awesome and I want it in my game right now.
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-Prague can arrive at the fort by merchants. Infection works by spores.
I guess that's one way to do a lot of construction in a short time, provided that you like gothic architecture and can deal with the tourists.
That's what I was thinking too. It's a nice place though
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-When making Dig designations near adamantine, floors and walls have flashing numbers on them indicating how many adjacent tiles will breach the circus when mined out, a la minesweeper.
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-When making Dig designations near adamantine, floors and walls have flashing numbers on them indicating how many adjacent tiles will breach the circus when mined out, a la minesweeper.
I want that, actually. It would make it so much easier to predict when to release the clowns.
-Prague can arrive at the fort by merchants. Infection works by spores.
I guess that's one way to do a lot of construction in a short time, provided that you like gothic architecture and can deal with the tourists.
That's what I was thinking too. It's a nice place though
And can you fleece the tourists while they're at your fort? :D
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-No elf merchant can resist making short jokes.
-It is a crime punished by death.
-Trees regrow at a realistic rate (30-200 years)
-Dragons mature to full size in 10years
-Dragons reproduce asexually have litters of 10+
-Prague can arrive at the fort by merchants. Infection works by spores.
This is awesome and I want it in my game right now.
Pretty sure you can mod it in.
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Make building destroyers destroy constructions and dirt/stone walls. That would be Fun...
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Air is modded in. Dwarves suffocate if they don't get enough oxygen to breathe.
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-When making Dig designations near adamantine, floors and walls have flashing numbers on them indicating how many adjacent tiles will breach the circus when mined out, a la minesweeper.
I want that, actually. It would make it so much easier to predict when to release the clowns.
-Prague can arrive at the fort by merchants. Infection works by spores.
I guess that's one way to do a lot of construction in a short time, provided that you like gothic architecture and can deal with the tourists.
That's what I was thinking too. It's a nice place though
And can you fleece the tourists while they're at your fort? :D
Only those that are defined shearable in the raws.
Anyway.
- Hunting and capturing and taming wild wagons
- Animals don't only steal wheelbarrows/minecarts, they also load them full of stuff they found lying around before they leave
- Burrowing animals (e.g. rabbits and badgers) should be able to dig tunnels into your fort too
- Make kea a war animal. War keas would fight by dropping anvils, statues and other shiny lightweight objects on invaders
- Dragons (the full megabeast variety), giant pythons and such need an eat-whole-dwarf attack. Extra bonus: angry military dwarf should be able to hack his/her way out
- Sun tan: outdoorsdwarfs would get darker (especially in tropical biomes), cavedwarfs would get paler
- Dwarf solariums, just avoid getting grate lines
- Leather / bone instruments
- Dwarf music and bands performing in meeting rooms, you can focus on the band to listen
- Menstruation for she-dwarfs: a monthly pool of blood if not pregnant, causes bad thought
- "Hydra" world zones that makes severed limbs grow back with an evil duplicate
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VIPs visit with ridiculously small pet dogs and issue mandates for mw furniture and food and then leave before you get it all done, shouting at you that you're a lousy host
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-Combat should be quicktime event driven, requiring player input for sparring, regular combat, nanny goats kicking their newborns, etc.
-Straightedges, pencils, planers, various types of saw, nails, hammers, and glue should be required for every crafted wood product.
-Dwarves should have a random chance of going insane each tick, independent of happiness or profession.
-Mid-life crises.
-Some immigrants should speak a different language, unable to be ordered to do anything or have their labors changed until they assimilate in a few years.
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Ichor should give godlike effects when drunk. Effects vary depending based on the creature the ichor was extracted from.
-When making Dig designations near adamantine, floors and walls have flashing numbers on them indicating how many adjacent tiles will breach the circus when mined out, a la minesweeper.
I want that, actually. It would make it so much easier to predict when to release the clowns.
-Prague can arrive at the fort by merchants. Infection works by spores.
I guess that's one way to do a lot of construction in a short time, provided that you like gothic architecture and can deal with the tourists.
That's what I was thinking too. It's a nice place though
And can you fleece the tourists while they're at your fort? :D
Only those that are defined shearable in the raws.
Mmmm. Tourist cloth :D
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-Combat should be quicktime event driven, requiring player input for sparring, regular combat, nanny goats kicking their newborns, etc.
brilliant
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- Goblins and beasts can get bad thoughts and start throwing tantrum or just leave your site, so you can fight them with miasma or offensive engravings.
- Every dog or other pet is trying to jump inside a moving minecraft.
- Merchants drop all kinds of trash on the floor of trade depot (paper, rotten food, body fluids, etc) and next caravan will complain about dirt, if you don't clean it.
- Merchants can throw a party.
- Power Generator connected directly to your FPS-counter.
- Dwarves work only if you look at them.
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- Dwarves work only if you look at them.
Doesn't it already work that way?
Oh, wait, my bad, it doesn't. They don't go back to work when I'm looking at them either.
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In order to promote realism, all fantasy creature (including dwarves) are removed from the game. The game is now called Human Village.
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In order to promote realism, all fantasy creature (including dwarves) are removed from the game. The game is now called Human Village.
Everybody dies of waste elimination issues (burst bladder, etc) about a week in, because Toady isn't implementing creature waste.
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a "Heaven" level that when breached, starts sending waves of angelic and godly destroyers to punish your dwarves for their hubris.
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Clowns are now actual clowns. HFS is now HFS, instead of !!HFS!!, literally. It has hidden presents under the now mineable slade that gives you a tame war clown, that kills your foes with balloons.
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Clowns are now actual clowns. HFS is now HFS, instead of !!HFS!!, literally. It has hidden presents under the now mineable slade that gives you a tame war clown, that kills your foes with balloons.
They are still as dangerous; however.
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a "Heaven" level that when breached, starts sending waves of angelic and godly destroyers to punish your dwarves for their hubris.
This would be awesome.
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a "Heaven" level that when breached, starts sending waves of angelic and godly destroyers to punish your dwarves for their hubris.
This would be awesome.
Seconding this, the idea of some lawful being(s) showing up to make my dwarves answer for their crimes is quite appealing.
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a "Heaven" level that when breached, starts sending waves of angelic and godly destroyers to punish your dwarves for their hubris.
This would be awesome.
Seconding this, the idea of some lawful being(s) showing up to make my dwarves answer for their crimes is quite appealing.
Yes, just yes.
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I'm seeing picturing Toady using the dollar sign for some odd reason.
Urist: By Armok, its the $!!! QUICK!! SEAL OFF THE PUPPY SHAFTS! CLOSE THE GOBLIN PIT! GET THE BABIES OUT FROM UNDER THE BRIDGE!
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They would probably use Ä, since I think that's what "deities" currently use.
(Or was that Å?)
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Å is currently used to represent figurines.. that might make for some interesting deity discussions.
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Although it would be less "Let's pretend we're not doing bad things!" and more "Load the [insert name of superweapon here]!".
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Toady will add the symbol λ, representing humans in powered armour destroying our dwarfs with crowbars.
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Toady will add the symbol λ, representing humans in powered armour destroying our dwarfs with crowbars.
Half life... Dwarves dont even get to live half of their lives.
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Sometimes they do... Before they migrate to our forts.
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Outside of world gen dwarves have a pretty short life (and elves who dont bring war animals).
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Oh dear god, dwarves are like we play them, but AI controlled. I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.
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Toady will add the symbol λ, representing humans in powered armour destroying our dwarfs with crowbars.
Half life... Dwarves dont even get to live half of their lives.
The theory of half life still applies to dwarves. After a certain amount of time, you will find that half of the dwarves have died off due to "natural causes". The unique thing about the dwarven half life; however, is that it is a variable and not a constant. It also scales with the age of a fortress with higher mortality rates at the end.
In other words: λ:D=gC&(fortress age)
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- A defined set of win conditions complete with time limit before your dwarves start abandoning your fort in waves, abandoning it progressively whether you like it or not.
- All dwarfy names will be removed and replaced instead with names like 'todd' and 'kyle' and 'cody'' or 'Wilma' and 'Gretta' and 'Jan'
- Provide a detailed easy to read user manual with dwarf fortress describing how to avoid all forms of !!FUN!! one might have.
- Trolls make homestuck jokes.
- Catsplozoid: New megabeast that leaves highly adorable cats of both genders in its wake. If killed, all cats on the map go nuclear (IE thermonuclear catsplosion, same as modifying their internal temperature to 60,000).
- Catsplozoid, but any surviving dwarves instantly tantrum because they didn't get to adopt or kill the cats, depending on if they're a cat dwarf or not.
- Return elephants to their former glory.
- Replace HFS with skeletal elephants riding upon zombie whales wielding werecarp in their decaying trunks.
- Make elves as unkillable as a bronze colossus.
-- If you DO manage to kill one, aaaaaaaalllllll of the other elves in the world show up in yoru fort at once, murdering your FPS in a fourth-wall-breaking attack of doom.
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Hehe, and they don't even attack, they just path in complex dodecahedral shapes until your fort freezes up totally.
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[SEVERONBREAKS] tissue tag reimplemented and applied to all dwarves, wildlife and invaders.
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- A defined set of win conditions complete with time limit before your dwarves start abandoning your fort in waves, abandoning it progressively whether you like it or not.
I'd totally play that.
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- All dwarfy names will be removed and replaced instead with names like 'todd' and 'kyle' and 'cody'' or 'Wilma' and 'Gretta' and 'Jan'
I already made a Bash Shell Script that does this :)
PM to request
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- A defined set of win conditions complete with time limit before your dwarves start abandoning your fort in waves, abandoning it progressively whether you like it or not.
I'd totally play that.
yeah. complete with cold-war-style iron fence to keep the dwarves on site. (i was born in east germany, i get to make that sort of jokes :P )
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Dwarves are fatally allergic to bee stings.
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North Korea invades your map, and once your Dwarves are wiped out, you are left with a dancing, ascii-art Kim Jong-Il and Kim Jong-Un. Until your computer melts.
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Expansion pack that adds; new models of socks, a perk system and a non-playable samurai race.
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Landmines implemented. After a season, grass grows up over them, hiding them from both the dwarves and the player.
[LOCKPICKER] Added to keas and rhesus macques.
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a "Heaven" level that when breached, starts sending waves of angelic and godly destroyers to punish your dwarves for their hubris.
This would be awesome.
Seconding this, the idea of some lawful being(s) showing up to make my dwarves answer for their crimes is quite appealing.
Yes, just yes.
I knew the "Child Care" and "Mermaid Farming" threads would come back to haunt us! Seriously though, this sounds awesome. Maybe make it depend on what sort of dieties are present in your world?
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Bwahahaha, bring it on God of Rainbows appearing as a female dwarf. I WILL MESS YOUR ASS UP. But the volcano god, um... I live in one... So...
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Adamantine is now a farmable crop, growing both above and below ground.
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Elves not only dislike things made of wood, they dislike everything not technically possible without at some point someone having chopped a tree (metal, stone, everything, etc.)
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Landmines implemented. After a season, grass grows up over them, hiding them from both the dwarves and the player.
This is a bad idea how?
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You won't know where to trick the elves into pathing.
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Elves not only dislike things made of wood, they dislike everything not technically possible without at some point someone having chopped a tree (metal, stone, everything, etc.)
Elves also found Elf PETA, get upset by bone/leather/shell/<insert animal material here> goods, and start sending diplomats that demand the release of any caged/pastured/pitted animals as well as lumber caps. They will also convert other races to their cause during worldgen.
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You can capture elves in cages and train them to be hairdressers. Then all the dwarfs will look FABULOUS.
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Elves not only dislike things made of wood, they dislike everything not technically possible without at some point someone having chopped a tree (metal, stone, everything, etc.)
Elves also found Elf PETA, get upset by bone/leather/shell/<insert animal material here> goods, and start sending diplomats that demand the release of any caged/pastured/pitted animals as well as lumber caps. They will also convert other races to their cause during worldgen.
The animal products was true in older releases, and elves can in fact take over other civs in worldgen.
You can capture elves in cages and train them to be hairdressers. Then all the dwarfs will look FABULOUS.
what exactly are you implying here
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Lightheaded dwarves. Whenever they drink any alcohol they go berserk, melancholic or mad, for a certain period of time. They have no recollection of any damage or problems they have caused during this state.
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Two words:
No. Booze.
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In the future, sieging necromancers will have a whole spectrum of destructive spells at their disposal.
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The enraged, martial trance and berserker states are now "buff" and can only be bought with a in-game cash system.
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-Military gets upset about having to train for a long time without fighting anything.
-All dwarves get a bad thought whenever a hostile has been on the map more than a season.
-Relatives and friends of military dwarves get upset/worried whenever the dwarf is fighting.
-Mandates to not make things (for a given time period)
-Religious figgures capable of issuing perminant mandates (effecting trading or use of certian goods)
-Dwarves getting a bad thought whenever there is a party they don't attend.
-Dwarves with low confidence and/or social skills refusing to attend parties and then getting a bad thought about it.
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Lightheaded dwarves. Whenever they get sober they go berserk, melancholic or mad, for a certain period of time. They have no recollection of any damage or problems they have caused during this state.
Fixed that for ya.
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Prisons should be required to have a bar of soap for the imprisoned dwarves to accidentally drop while taking a communal shower.
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In the future, sieging necromancers will have a whole spectrum of destructive spells at their disposal.
Isn't that one already on the list of future goals?
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-Military gets upset about having to train for a long time without fighting anything.
-All dwarves get a bad thought whenever a hostile has been on the map more than a season.
-Relatives and friends of military dwarves get upset/worried whenever the dwarf is fighting.
-Mandates to not make things (for a given time period)
-Religious figgures capable of issuing perminant mandates (effecting trading or use of certian goods)
-Dwarves getting a bad thought whenever there is a party they don't attend.
-Dwarves with low confidence and/or social skills refusing to attend parties and then getting a bad thought about it.
I actually like all of the above.
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Werebeasts infiltrate unannounced, the same as necromancer/vampire immigrants. They have to be caught transforming by a witness still alive to accuse them.
Oh, totally figuring out where to mod 10 year maturity into dragons, lol. Nice.
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Werebeasts infiltrate unannounced, the same as necromancer/vampire immigrants. They have to be caught transforming by a witness still alive to accuse them.
Oh, totally figuring out where to mod 10 year maturity into dragons, lol. Nice.
The way I understood what you said was... Necromancer Dwarves, coming into your fortress as immigrants... That sounds like a nice idea actually. They would sneak into tombs/graves, bringing body parts into their quarters where they create their golems, to eventually unleash at the fortress in order to become the new ruler/king.
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-Military gets upset about having to train for a long time without fighting anything.
-All dwarves get a bad thought whenever a hostile has been on the map more than a season.
-Relatives and friends of military dwarves get upset/worried whenever the dwarf is fighting.
-Mandates to not make things (for a given time period)
-Religious figgures capable of issuing perminant mandates (effecting trading or use of certian goods)
-Dwarves getting a bad thought whenever there is a party they don't attend.
-Dwarves with low confidence and/or social skills refusing to attend parties and then getting a bad thought about it.
I actually like all of the above.
There all reasonable features but would just be annoying, probably just seemingly randomly sparking tantrums (which would actually also be reasonable if it wern't that tantruming dwarves kill people). Although the perminant non-production mandates could add an interesting challange as long as it wasn't something absolutly critical to survival/happyness. (I'm thinking maybe a noble insists say, crossbows are evil and so will have anyone punsihed/go insane if you make/buy/use any.)
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Critical mistakes. Dwarf shoots with crossbow, rolls a 1 on a d20 and hits the fellow BEHIND him...or maybe the crossbow BACKFIRES! (not to mention hitting himself with a steel battleaxe)
Gunpowder weapons that explode like barrels of booze.
Fuck pumps! Treadmills for Dwarves to train/power up facilities! Build an awesome gym!
And finally: using minecarts to roll boulders on the mountainside.
Maybe I didn't take this tread as jokingly as I should, so I'll finish the post with:
The Dwarfperture !!SCIENCE!! Porthole Device. You think we're banging microcline blocks here? Fire both the portholes on the same 1x1 space and watch as the goblin masses inertia!! :P
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-A poor selection of clothing material types, colors, and styles (leading to uniformity amongst the dwarves) should occasionally cause dwarves to realize their insignificance as slaves in an unforgiving society, and immediately go insane as a result.
-Dwarves should track uncleanable particles of sand into their rooms after walking on sand, causing an unhappy thought every time they go there for eternity.
-If enough nobles have grudges against each other (That contemptuous champion and his Fine Tomb!) then they should attempt a coup d'etat, hijacking military squads to kill political opponents, as well as those damn craftdwarves who got away with those failed mandates.
-Unhappy thoughts from eating kittens/puppies.
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Alcohol can now ignite. Burning objects path to the nearest living creature.
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Nobles can not issue work orders and make designations at will without announcing.
Urist McBaron is quiet content. He has ordered a new throne room dug out lately.
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Elves not only dislike things made of wood, they dislike everything not technically possible without at some point someone having chopped a tree (metal, stone, everything, etc.)
Elves also found Elf PETA, get upset by bone/leather/shell/<insert animal material here> goods, and start sending diplomats that demand the release of any caged/pastured/pitted animals as well as lumber caps. They will also convert other races to their cause during worldgen.
That is the exact opposite of now. Those elves brings tons of exotic animals, and I have quite a few engravings of elves devouring humanoids.
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Every Elf is Cacame Awemedinade. They will all, successively, migrate to your fort, take it over, and then wander off.
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-Mandates to not make things (for a given time period)
I love this one. I wish I could mod it in.
As far as terrible suggestions
All dwarves become able to make mandates.
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-Mandates to not make things (for a given time period)
I love this one. I wish I could mod it in.
As far as terrible suggestions
All dwarves become able to make mandates.
Oi! Get yer own idears!
Every dwarf is able to make mandates.
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Dwarves are represented by a large D.
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The spire over the underworld are now randomly generated. I hope you enjoy your sparrow tallow soap spire.
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The masterpiece alerts should pause and recenter so you can see who made them.
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Masterpiece alerts should prioritize over all other alerts.
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The masterpiece alerts should pause and recenter so you can see who made them.
You can have the game do this now by changing your alert settings.
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Oops...
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Jesus Christ double fail. Sorry!
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All creatures piss and shit, which causes miasma and spreads syndromes. Without designated toilet zones or constructed toilets, dwarves will just go in a corner. Pit toilets will fill up, making sewers an eventual necessity. In a nod to Duke Nukem, using a toilet in adventure mode heals your character.
Firedamp, chokedamp, whitedamp, stinkdamp and other invisible vaporous mining hazards can suffocate your dwarves, or even explode on contact with fire/magma.
Actually that last one sounds kinda cool.
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8The aforementioned gases can be canned and used for flamethrowers or explosive bombs. Setting them up; however, is highly dangerous and will most likely explode when handled.
Still, dwarven [SUICIDE] flammenwerfers!
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Actually that last one sounds kinda cool.
i think both are interesting. i thought the mining changes (miners getting bruises when channeling very dumb) in .09 was cool and added immersion. toxic gases would too, as well as lights and air pumps
as for feces and stuff: i think i could add toilets very easily to my current reroute-river-through-underground-waterwheel-system and for the animals there would have to be a new job to clean their pastures
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Dwarves are represented by a large D.
That would look like ass.
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Dwarves are represented by a large D.
That would look like ass.
(http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/43/i_see_what_you_did_there.jpg)
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Ugh, this thread started out funny, but then everyone thought "HERF DERR ILL POST A SUGGESTION THATS ACTUALLY PRETTY COOL AND ITLL BE FUNYNY BECAUSE OF THAT HUEHUE"
News flash, guys: you're not being ironic for posting a suggestion that's pretty interesting/cool/good in a joke thread. It just makes you look like a sad attention-lover.
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Uhh... dude, we're having fun. lighten up.
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I'm not actually sure what you're ranting about. You can make a thread for serious, short suggestions if it bugs you that much. Also, a joke to one person might be a sound idea to another.
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Also, a joke to one person might be a sound idea to another.
That is practically the whole point of DF.
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I don't know guys, he did use Caps Lock and 4chan parlance. I think he might have a point...
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I have an idea that is legitimately dumb!
Genetic engineering, that way you could breed fire breathing badgers and magma carp in game!
Or if you're really masochistic, you could make your own forgotten beasts.
Probably in some mod.
Hope I'm not repeating anyone.
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Ugh, this thread started out funny, but then everyone thought "HERF DERR ILL POST A SUGGESTION THATS ACTUALLY PRETTY COOL AND ITLL BE FUNYNY BECAUSE OF THAT HUEHUE"
News flash, guys: you're not being ironic for posting a suggestion that's pretty interesting/cool/good in a joke thread. It just makes you look like a sad attention-lover.
This may or may not be ironic, I am not sure what the true definition is, but its goddamn funny.
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Ugh, this thread started out funny, but then everyone thought "HERF DERR ILL POST A SUGGESTION THATS ACTUALLY PRETTY COOL AND ITLL BE FUNYNY BECAUSE OF THAT HUEHUE"
News flash, guys: you're not being ironic for posting a suggestion that's pretty interesting/cool/good in a joke thread. It just makes you look like a sad attention-lover.
This may or may not be ironic, I am not sure what the true definition is, but its goddamn funny.
I think that your thinking that it's ironic is correct.
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Ahh, ironic, defined as that which is the opposite of what one would expect. The fact that a random person derails a thread is not ironic, as someone was going to do it anyway.
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I deliberately wasn't going to use ironic, because so many people use it incorrectly. I'd rather not use it, and remain correct than misremember the definition. Although thank you for the definition.
And also, I think loving attention is the basis of all human society, seeing as how we are social animals, and our big fancy brains evolved to allow us to love attention more.
Dwarves have to have a minimum amount of time a month they get to socialize, or they begin tantrumming. Then go beserk after two months.
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I deliberately wasn't going to use ironic, because so many people use it incorrectly. I'd rather not use it, and remain correct than misremember the definition. Although thank you for the definition.
And also, I think loving attention is the basis of all human society, seeing as how we are social animals, and our big fancy brains evolved to allow us to love attention more.
Dwarves have to have a minimum amount of time a month they get to socialize, or they begin tantrumming. Then go beserk after two months.
ironic
adjective
°Both coincidental and contradictory in a humorous or poignant and extremely improbable way.
"It is ironic that Einstein, who was such a revolutionary young man, was reduced to irrational denial of quantum mechanics in his later years."
synonyms: ironical
Thank you, Ninjawords (http://www.ninjawords.com).
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Ah, so it was ironic that Chagen was denouncing us for being attention lovers, when he himself was also an attention lover.
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My favorite definition of irony comes from some Irish comedian or other (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nT1TVSTkAXg).
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Instead of tables or chairs, you can only order workshops to build "furniture".
Oops, looks like you got another weapon rack, better luck on a bed next time!
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Instead of tables or chairs, you can only order workshops to build "furniture".
Oops, looks like you got another weapon rack, better luck on a bed next time!
Immediatly madde me think of dungeon keeper. Such a pain.
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Goblins now send a diplomat who makes peace in exchange for a certain amount of babies.
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Goblins now send a diplomat who makes peace in exchange for a certain amount of babies.
How is that a bad thing?
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Goblins now send a diplomat who makes peace in exchange for a certain amount of babies.
How is that a bad thing?
no more goblin invasions. I guess it would be kind of fun.
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Goblins now send a diplomat who makes peace in exchange for a certain amount of babies.
How is that a bad thing?
no more goblin invasions. I guess it would be kind of fun.
I meant a way to get rid of babies, but yeah, that too.
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*fightfightfight*
Gobbo Diplomat: Oi, we'll go away if you give us some of your babies!
Mayor: Wait, what? That's what you want? Why didn't you say so!
Gobbo: Oh, uhm. We want... All of dem?
Mayor: Here you go!
12 years later...
Gobbo returns: Uh. Yeah, about those babies. They kind of got magma everywhere and killed everyone.
Mayor: Yeah, that happens.
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Rewrite all game in Visual Basic.
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Rewrite all game in Visual Basic.
...Sadist.
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Embarking on a Volcano has a random chance of an Eruption every (Oh, I dunno, one to ten years), spewing Lava, and blocking the skies with Ash, so no plants grow above ground.
No Beds until you hit fungus, No Overworld Crops, and FPS death, all in one!
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A new megabeast known as Cthulhu.
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A new megabeast known as Cthulhu.
I want this.
Embarking on a Volcano has a random chance of an Eruption every (Oh, I dunno, one to ten years), spewing Lava, and blocking the skies with Ash, so no plants grow above ground.
No Beds until you hit fungus, No Overworld Crops, and FPS death, all in one!
I want this.
-EDIT, FORGOT TO POST MY JOKE-
Kobolds now send raiding parties every month with copper spears, wood bows (MACHINE GUNS), and ALOT of kobolds.
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Embarking on a Volcano has a random chance of an Eruption every (Oh, I dunno, one to ten years), spewing Lava, and blocking the skies with Ash, so no plants grow above ground.
No Beds until you hit fungus, No Overworld Crops, and FPS death, all in one!
I want this.
Reclaiming a volcano currently triggers a bug, causing the volcano to erupt. :D
The player must now sacrifice the most skilled dwarf (with a useful profession) in the fortress a Armok every year, or the rain is replaced by dwarven blood which makes the goblins immune to traps and puts them in a perpetual stage of rage.
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...chance of an Eruption every...
Why did I read that as "Egyption ovary?"
If it was "Egyptian ovary" then I'd definitely not be happy to have a volcano spew ovaries all over the place, suddenly making all the women pregnant, maried or not, and ignoring the population and child caps. Oh gods the children...
So that's my terrible suggestion. But ye, I think eruptions would be pretty awesome. The community suggested all kinds of new landscape features like impact craters full of randomly generated horrors, gigantic trees that form entire biomes (which are kinda on the dev list in a way. Multi-tile trees are intended, but I don't think he quite means giant regional trees.) and other crap while .31 was still in development, and I'd still love to see it happen.
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Why did I read that as "Egyption ovary?"
Urist McFreud has some interesting theories about that sort of thing.
I've made an appointment for you to see him.
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You must write demands to your home civilization before embarking, convincing them of your idea, future goals and perspective of life. When failed, you must generate a new world. If succesfull, most items will be missing on embark and if one dwarf dies, you will be removed from your position of power and the game uninstalls itself.
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the game uninstalls itself.
One does not simply uninstall Dwarf Fortress. You never install it in the first place! You cannot undo an undone action.
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Its like the computer always had DF and you simply discovered it, and when you 'uninstall' it, you simply are choosing to forget it works.
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A new type of invader that arrives on your map, gathers all the plants, chops down all the trees, mines out all the exposed ore and puts it on a supply train going off the map. They only attack if your dwarves try to make use of those same resources or their mining operations breech your fortress.
They also put up a competing trade depot and if the caravans reach that one first, you don't get to trade that season.
They siege by trying to sealing your fort up and dumping miasma causing garbage and other tantrum inducers in.
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A new type of invader that arrives on your map, gathers all the plants, chops down all the trees, mines out all the exposed ore and puts it on a supply train going off the map. They only attack if your dwarves try to make use of those same resources or their mining operations breech your fortress.
They also put up a competing trade depot and if the caravans reach that one first, you don't get to trade that season.
They siege by trying to sealing your fort up and dumping miasma causing garbage and other tantrum inducers in.
That sounds like fun, but It couldn't possibly effect isolationist forts. The ability of my dwarves to destroy things would be put to good use against such a enemy.
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A new type of invader that arrives on your map, gathers all the plants, chops down all the trees, mines out all the exposed ore and puts it on a supply train going off the map. They only attack if your dwarves try to make use of those same resources
That would certainly add an element of realism to the game.
It's an element of reality that I wish to ignore though :-X
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What DF needs are more dog and cat breeds. Which Dwarf Noble wouldn't want a poodle for a pet? How about a Welsh Corgi for the Hammerlords to ride on? Or... an English Bulldog, to act as the Dwarven King?
I vote... aye!
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4a) If you reach a population of 200 dwarves before the King arrives, the balance of power shifts and all professions with at least 10 members will form labor unions. These unions will make sure the work is distributed equally ("Oh, you wanted the ☼Legendary☼ Weaponsmith to make that axe? Sorry, it's Competent Kadol's turn"), go On Break twice as often as other dwarves, and will declare a strike if they think their living quarters are too shabby.
This actually sounds legitimately interesting.
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Why did I read that as "Egyption ovary?"
Urist McFreud has some interesting theories about that sort of thing.
I've made an appointment for you to see him.
I made an appointment with my bed and cereal bowl. Problem solved it seems. :P
I blame lack of sleep and the fact he capitalized "eruption".
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Miners who are disoriented for any reason (including both drunkenness and excessive sobriety) lose their picture-perfect sense of direction and spatial awareness, resulting in things like accidentally digging a non-level floor and driving their pick right through your bedroom ceiling, or tunneling off in the wring direction entirely and plowing right into the lake.
There are no dwarf women, their children simply spring out of holes in the ground. Each muddied soil tile has a 1% chance to generate a dwarf baby every 1st of Hematite.
The game employs realistic lighting: All areas that are Inside, Underground, Dark are represented by completely black tiles. The only way to "see" what is on each tile is by 'k' looking around, and even then, the text is dark gray on black.
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1.Dwarves, elves, goblins and humans being able to breed with eachother and create mixed races.
2.Dwarves giving birth outside of wedlock.
Sorry did you want dwarf fortress? It's human fortress now! Oh wait. The elven merchants impregnated some and the kobold siege impregnated some more.
You are now playing half-elf, half-goblin fortress and you will LIKE IT!
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1.Dwarves, elves, goblins and humans being able to breed with eachother and create mixed races.
2.Dwarves giving birth outside of wedlock.
Sorry did you want dwarf fortress? It's human fortress now! Oh wait. The elven merchants impregnated some and the kobold siege impregnated some more.
You are now playing half-elf, half-goblin fortress and you will LIKE IT!
If these offspring had the ability to reproduce then science would define dwarves, goblins, humans and elves as the same race! I could not allow this to be true! >:(
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Man don't even pretend that hybrid races wouldn't be rad as fuck. Yeah, maybe it's a little cliche but it's a damn interesting one, there's a lot of things you can do with it! I mean, we already have mendelian genetics!
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I agree on that it would be cool, but if they could reproduce then the scientific laws on races would define them all as the same.
And elves being a subrace of dwarves in unacceptable!
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I agree on that it would be cool, but if they could reproduce then the scientific laws on races would define them all as the same.
And elves being a subrace of dwarves in unacceptable!
This is Dwarf Fortress. Science can kindly fuck right off, unless it's !!Science!!
:P
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oh god why does your avatar change
I thought that was Loud Whispers' deal
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The classical notion of specie is already fucked up anyway. Nature doesn't like neat categories, and like to mess with our definitions. (See ring species for exemple. Amongst plants the notion of specie is almost meningless. Same with all the organisms that reproduce asexually.)
I wonder what would the interactions between allele be. Would Dwarve be dominant over the recessive Elf? It'd be so messed up. :p
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I had a very long discussion with one of my geology classmates about speciation and evolution, because she just wasn't eble to figure out quite how it worked, and the fact that I didn't know exactly how it worked either didn't help.
There's a reason I'm studying to be a geologist instead of a biologist. At least it can only get half as confusing as figuring out how complex animals work.
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Plus, rocks won't bite you, stampede you or give you some weird disease. (Well, except for cinnabar).
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The game employs realistic lighting: All areas that are Inside, Underground, Dark are represented by completely black tiles. The only way to "see" what is on each tile is by 'k' looking around, and even then, the text is dark gray on black.
This will come with the addition of pitch rigs to tap trees for flammable sap and both pockets of oil and oil-bearing stone in the deeps. Coal can also be used. All of it can be used to make light sources, all of which gradually burn out and need a steady industry going to keep your fortress lit.
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Plus, rocks won't bite you, stampede you or give you some weird disease. (Well, except for cinnabar).
Any rock that makes your Geiger counter click faster than normal can give you a weird disease. :D
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Well, highly radioactive natural rocks are rare. Even pitchblende is quite safe to handle.
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Miners who are disoriented for any reason (including both drunkenness and excessive sobriety) lose their picture-perfect sense of direction and spatial awareness, resulting in things like accidentally digging a non-level floor and driving their pick right through your bedroom ceiling, or tunneling off in the wring direction entirely and plowing right into the lake.
That would make miners almost useless because when aren't dwarves drunk? And sober dwarves are even worse. Just immagine the hangover you would get after being drunk for so long.
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Miners who are disoriented for any reason (including both drunkenness and excessive sobriety) lose their picture-perfect sense of direction and spatial awareness, resulting in things like accidentally digging a non-level floor and driving their pick right through your bedroom ceiling, or tunneling off in the wring direction entirely and plowing right into the lake.
That would make miners almost useless because when aren't dwarves drunk? And sober dwarves are even worse. Just immagine the hangover you would get after being drunk for so long.
Alcohol has the reverse effect on dwarves. A drunk dwarf is just as clear minded as any normal human. It is when they are sober that things go wrong.
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Alcohol has the reverse effect on dwarves. A drunk dwarf is just as clear minded as any normal human. It is when they are sober that things go wrong.
I subscribe to the theory that dwarves have a genetic hangover that's been building since the dawn of time and the only way to hold it back is by an endless supply of hair of the dog.
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Areas of flat land surrounded by mountains should have a chance of being supervolcanoes.
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Areas of flat land surrounded by mountains should have a chance of being supervolcanoes.
I.... I thought the idea... was bad suggestions.
*mentally pictures digging down about five layers before hitting magma which SPEWS UPWARD! in a massive cloud of fire and death, filling an entire swath of the map with lava and killing all the elves and trees and raise the savagery rating on all the biome near those affected*
.... Hidden Super Fun Stuff.
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Breaks, meals, and naps take place realistically with the time scale, meaning that every 5 in-game hours they engage in one of those activities, or the equivalent of about 2 seconds at 100 FPS.
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-Military gets upset about having to train for a long time without fighting anything.
-All dwarves get a bad thought whenever a hostile has been on the map more than a season.
-Relatives and friends of military dwarves get upset/worried whenever the dwarf is fighting.
-Mandates to not make things (for a given time period)
-Religious figgures capable of issuing perminant mandates (effecting trading or use of certian goods)
-Dwarves getting a bad thought whenever there is a party they don't attend.
-Dwarves with low confidence and/or social skills refusing to attend parties and then getting a bad thought about it.
While those would be horrible, they would also kinda be reasonable.
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if dwarves die at 150ish and elves are immortal, what would their offspring be?
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They would still be immortal, but since elves can't handle alcohol they eventually die as the booze slowly breaks down and degenerates the body. I'd say about 90 years before the cell walls dissolve and the bones snap due to elvishness.
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Dwarfs that worship different gods will gain bad thoughts by being in the same room. Eventually your entire population will clump up into an unstoppable holy war.
Oh, and especially devout dwarfs will occasionally claim a meeting room the same way that moody dwarfs claim workshops, and will throw whatever they can find at non-believers until killed.
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The idea of an entirely immortal race offends me...
The inverse ratio of Age to Reproductive capabilities shall not let it be so!
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-Forbidding items has a chance of making them more desirable.
-Goblins bait dwarves into coming onto the surface by dropping socks everywhere, while stealthed.
-Dwarves stop caring so much about furniture and rooms.
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Dwarves are now smarter and more autonomous. After embark, they'll do everything on their own, including designing the fortress.
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Dwarves are now smarter and more autonomous. After embark, they'll do everything on their own, including designing the fortress.
And you also start with a 30-squad enforcer squad, to make the dwarves do what you want them to.
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-Dwarves now need razors to shave their beards. All dwarves demand razors for shaving, and will not go above unhappy if they have a beard.
-Goblins are always peaceful good samaritan neighbors. For trade, they bring only steel and candy bars, slade stones, food, booze, and multi colored cloth and leather of all types.
-DF MMORPG. Was that mentioned? I would literally kill myself if someone did that.
-All explicit content is banned. No more gouging eyes. No more killing a child, then using his corpse to defeat a city.
-All animals are now forced to be realistic, obeying the square cube law.
-Kobolds, dragons, minotaurs and giant keas are now civs.
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-Dwarves now need razors to shave their beards. All dwarves demand razors for shaving, and will not go above unhappy if they have a beard.
-Goblins are always peaceful good samaritan neighbors. For trade, they bring only steel and candy bars, slade stones, food, booze, and multi colored cloth and leather of all types.
-DF MMORPG. Was that mentioned? I would literally kill myself if someone did that.
-All explicit content is banned. No more gouging eyes. No more killing a child, then using his corpse to defeat a city.
-All animals are now forced to be realistic, obeying the square cube law.
-Kobolds, dragons, minotaurs and giant keas are now civs.
Kobolds ARE a civ. There a skulking civ that exist in caves.
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Oops. I meant like, armies... Cities, fortress.
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All dorfs are replaced by angsty androgynous anime teenagers, whose sole occupation is to engage in turn-based combat against tentacle monsters.