Bay 12 Games Forum
Finally... => Forum Games and Roleplaying => Roll To Dodge => Topic started by: zomara0292 on October 22, 2012, 08:16:00 am
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Why you chose to be a part of one the most hated Religions in the world, you don't know, but it seemed like fun. Now, after 5 months of studying (seriously, you should have a degree in theology by now) and a full day of talking about it, you decided to go out into that thing you hear about all the time.
FIELD SERVICE
This is my first attempt at a minimalist RtD
You each play a role as a Minister trying to survive one full Week of ministering (10 Doors).
Enjoy the Torture and may the RNG be with you.
Oh! and, remember, not all doors end when the door closes.
edited thanks to the advice of the always knowledgeable Turin.
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GO KNOCK ON FIRST DOOR, INQUIRE THE HOUSEHOLD'S OPINION OF OUR SAVIOR LORD JESUS CHRIST.
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Knock on celebrity's door, inform them that Organis the God of Mutations And Insanity specifically needs their assistance to spread the word.
((Is everyone a minister of the same religion, or does everyone get to choose their own possibly made-up religion? It is possible that my question is stupid and that I did not read the first post carefully enough.))
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ROFL :D
This RTD is about exactly what I expected, which somehow I didn't expect. I assumed it was going to turn out to be about Field Maintenance of something or other, and that the author had just stumbled on a term that would be really misleading to Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons.
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I AM A MISKOPALIAN
YAY
GO FIND XANTALOS
TAKE XANTALOS FROM YOU AT FINAL BOSS UNIVERSE
UNLEASH HIM HERE
DEMAND HE PAY SERVICE TO MISKO.
PROBABLY DIE, BUT DON'T TRY TO.
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Hunt down a idiot's domicile. Say the following.
"Welcome my son. welcome to the Church of Bacislam. It's like Islam, but with Bacon. Are you confused? Good, as thats the first tenet."
*Enter the door*
"Now I have to be honest, I just made that shit up. There is no church of Bacislam. yes I know your disappointed. Why did I lie?
Its the Actual First Tenet Of Chris-antimy, where we worship the chocolate milk-shake of the flying boar. "Lying your pants off to suit your needs, and watch as all them bitchez crawl to your doorstep", said The Holy Wiener of Antioch Before entering battle with heathen Raptor Jesus.
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HERETIC.
MISKOPALIANISM FORBIDS INDOOR VOICES.
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ENTER DOOR
CONVERT UNKNOWING VICTIM CONVERTEE TO WORSHIP THE GOD OF GRILL
GRILL GOD GRILLS THINGS
NAME IS GRILL
CONVERT TO GRILLISM
IS NICE GUY
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Walk up to door, knock.
"Hello my good friend. I have here to tell you of the word of Armok and all who worship him."
Pull out a knife.
"First, blood for the blood god. Do you have a wife, daughter, son, cat perhaps? Armok hates cats. And children."
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Knock on celebrity's door, inform them that Organis the God of Mutations And Insanity specifically needs their assistance to spread the word.
You knock on the front door of the biggest house you can find [Free 1] after being papered on the five week journey to the front door. And meet [free 1] The Organis itself!!!!! [free 1] It offers you some cookies. They are your favorite flavor!!!!I AM A MISKOPALIAN
YAY
GO FIND XANTALOS
TAKE XANTALOS FROM YOU AT FINAL BOSS UNIVERSE
UNLEASH HIM HERE
DEMAND HE PAY SERVICE TO MISKO.
PROBABLY DIE, BUT DON'T TRY TO.
You get happy. So happy that you start your own religion [11] Supported by an actual God named Misko (no affiliation to Misko27) :o
You go looking for XANTALOS and find [58] A dummy
You demand that it pays service to Misko[56vs22] and trip in your raging rant, to where it looks like you are bowing down to it.
[2] Misko Comes down and attacks the dummy, tuning it into his slave, and gives it to you as a servant for exposing it as a rival god.
Hunt down a idiot's domicile. Say the following.
"Welcome my son. welcome to the Church of Bacislam. It's like Islam, but with Bacon. Are you confused? Good, as thats the first tenet."
*Enter the door*
"Now I have to be honest, I just made that shit up. There is no church of Bacislam. yes I know your disappointed. Why did I lie?
Its the Actual First Tenet Of Chris-antimy, where we worship the chocolate milk-shake of the flying boar. "Lying your pants off to suit your needs, and watch as all them bitchez crawl to your doorstep", said The Holy Wiener of Antioch Before entering battle with heathen Raptor Jesus.
You walk up to your first door and [38] start spewing random nonsense at the door. The resident peaks through the window and stares at you intensely, but has yet to open his door to you, [84] so you cant quite go inside yet.ENTER DOOR
CONVERT UNKNOWING VICTIM CONVERTEE TO WORSHIP THE GOD OF GRILL
GRILL GOD GRILLS THINGS
NAME IS GRILL
CONVERT TO GRILLISM
IS NICE GUY
[36] You knock on the door and they look out the window.
QUICK! MAKE A SPOT HIDDEN CHECK! [61]
You hear a soft click as you preach about Hank HillWalk up to door, knock.
"Hello my good friend. I have here to tell you of the word of Armok and all who worship him."
Pull out a knife.
"First, blood for the blood god. Do you have a wife, daughter, son, cat perhaps? Armok hates cats. And children."
You walk to your first door, the praises of Armok on your lips. [78] Unfortunetly, you only make it up to the word sacrifice before you hear the cops coming.
Do you run? [Turn to page "55"]
Do you continue preaching? [Turn to page "your death"]
Do you do something else? [Turn to page "1" and start over]
GO KNOCK ON FIRST DOOR, INQUIRE THE HOUSEHOLD'S OPINION OF OUR SAVIOR LORD JESUS CHRIST.
You knock on your first door [88] and hear gunshots.
((Is everyone a minister of the same religion, or does everyone get to choose their own possibly made-up religion? It is possible that my question is stupid and that I did not read the first post carefully enough.))
As it seems, you make up your own religion. I might even make a planet for all ministers to be on. but that might be ambitious
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QUICK
SACRIFICE SELF TO BECOME GRILL GOD
USE CORPSE AS PROPHET
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Instate a theocracy!
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((I was skipped. I'll edit my next turn into this post later.))
Awesome! I love Samoa cookies!
Attempt to ration cookies for length of game. Give in and eat them all at once. Knock on manhole. Inform hideous sewer people that Organis loves hideous sewer people, and that they should worship Organis.
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((I was skipped. I'll edit my next turn into this post later.))
((My appologies. How about this, and this will apply to everyone, I skip you and your turn, that i skipped, is considered a free action. Full success. ))
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edited thanks to the advice of the always knowledgeable Turin.
((P.T.W. :P))
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Start a religion about Pewie Pewie.
Knock on first door, keep all guns hidden. Preach about the good of your God, called PP.
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A dummy? Sounds like Xantalos, alright.
Okay, that was mean, but when it's pitched over the plate...
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TEST DUMMY'S CAPABILITIES.
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Remind person that opening a door to a field servicer is tantamount to allowing them into your house under current law.
Explain church has hot women. Many hot women. Very lonely women.
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Run like a bitch[55]. Preferably to the orphanage or veterinarian.
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Run like a bitch[55]. Preferably to the orphanage or veterinarian.
[5] You run fast as you dodge shotgun shells being propelled in your general direction. . . . hey, is the ground getting closer to you?[88] You stop, nearly three miles away from where you started and look into a nearby puddle. turn into a bitch. Danm. [41] Stray dogs are at least given their space in this part of town.
Remind person that opening a door to a field servicer is tantamount to allowing them into your house under current law.
Explain church has hot women. Many hot women. Very lonely women.
You tell him that he has to open up the door to let you in, via legal pursuits. [31] He opens up, but does not look happy about it. [61] Even less so when you mention all the lonley women in your church.
Quick! make a spot hidden check! [11] You notice the picture of a family. . . . . What looks like to husbands and a young girl. Wait. . . . two husbands?
A dummy? Sounds like Xantalos, alright.
Okay, that was mean, but when it's pitched over the plate...
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TEST DUMMY'S CAPABILITIES.
[39] it moves like its a real Xantalos. And speaks to you like its egor.
Start a religion about Pewie Pewie.
Knock on first door, keep all guns hidden. Preach about the good of your God, called PP.
You walk up to the first door [6] managing to hide a whole platoons arsenal in two pockets using hammer space technology. [69] Unfortunately, the most you can manage is you, get the owner of the house to peak out their window as you sspeak. Tough crowd.
((I was skipped. I'll edit my next turn into this post later.))
Awesome! I love Samoa cookies!
Attempt to ration cookies for length of game. Give in and eat them all at once. Knock on manhole. Inform hideous sewer people that Organis loves hideous sewer people, and that they should worship Organis.
You attempt to ration out your cookies. [66] You eat half before you can control yourself, and decide it's better to just give in. [98] And tear through them in a way that makes Organis quite angry. Could be because you dropped every bite. You decide to leave before you makes things worse. [5] Which earns you its secret respect. Quick! Make a spot hidden check! [auto-fail] *shrug* Anyway, on to the sewers!
[88] You walk off on your own. . . . . Where is the exit?
QUICK
SACRIFICE SELF TO BECOME GRILL GOD
USE CORPSE AS PROPHET
[97] you start to sacrifice yourself to become Hank Hill, But are stopped by the man himsef. "you should have used propane, son"
[37] he walks away without another word, leaving you in awe.
Instate a theocracy!
You start the trials that have befallen many before you, and [63] managed to do no better than most others. You now have a small throng of 9 unhappy followers.
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Hm, not ideal.
Try to secure a deal to buy a church. Haggle. Receive estimate. Rent Xantalos dummy to raise money to buy church. Say it's for a charitable cause.
Hey, religious organizations count as charitable organizations.
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USE PROPANE
BECOME HANK HILL
YEP
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Bathe in sewer water while looking for hideous sewer people.
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*pause*
WTF does that mean?
What are the statistical odds of happenin across a Gay man?
Explain church is quite liberal for its time, and is open to several concepts regarding marriage considered unacceptable elsewhere. Especially Gay marriage.
Also mention there is Freee cake for new members.
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Use the magic of Armok to become human. Wait, that won't work.
Preach the word of Armok to dogs instead.
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Bash open door, praise Pewie Pewie in an aggressive way, convert the owner. BY FORCE!
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Knock on the second door. Pretend to be selling encyclopedias. Show these scrubs how to religion.
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((Theocracies are "ruled" by god, not their rulers.))
Be a prophet.
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Hm, not ideal.
Try to secure a deal to buy a church. Haggle. Receive estimate. Rent Xantalos dummy to raise money to buy church. Say it's for a charitable cause.
Hey, religious organizations count as charitable organizations.
((Theocracies are "ruled" by god, not their rulers.))
Be a prophet.
Knock on the second door. Pretend to be selling encyclopedias. Show these scrubs how to religion.
Bash open door, praise Pewie Pewie in an aggressive way, convert the owner. BY FORCE!
Use the magic of Armok to become human. Wait, that won't work.
Preach the word of Armok to dogs instead.
*pause*
WTF does that mean?
What are the statistical odds of happenin across a Gay man?
Explain church is quite liberal for its time, and is open to several concepts regarding marriage considered unacceptable elsewhere. Especially Gay marriage.
Also mention there is Freee cake for new members.
Bathe in sewer water while looking for hideous sewer people.
USE PROPANE
BECOME HANK HILL
YEP
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((Theocracies are "ruled" by god, not their rulers.))
The difference is typically technical, as the god has an odd tendency to rule through the heads of the church.