Bay 12 Games Forum
Finally... => Life Advice => Topic started by: Pranz on November 24, 2013, 06:35:12 pm
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Hi, I'm mostly a lurker on this forum, but I feel like talking to someone who I don't know for a minute. So here is a little about me:
I'm in the swedish equivalent of high school, studying natural sciences. It's sophomore year and the school I go to is considered one of the top schools in my city, altough in Sweden there are no truly private schools as schools can't charge students. I have a couple of very good friends, some in school, some outside. I generally spend my free time hanging out with them, practicing music or program. Doesn't seem so bad, right?
Yet, I have thrown school completely in the shitter. I have skipped over 20% of classes, 3 assignments overdue and basically not been doing ANY school work for the past month or so. Only subjects I'm not falling behind in is math and history because math is shit easy and history is interesting to me. I think I have SAD or something because usually I'm feeling blue around this time of the year, but this time it hit me hard. I lost all motivation to do anything for about one and a half week. And now when I'm behind I get so stressed and anxious I'm paralyzed. I've never been especially good at focusing at schoolwork and even when I feel like doing something I usually just end up programming or playing music. I don't have much motivation either for school, higher education is the only thing that seems useful and if I pursue that it feels like I will just fail when I do something stupid like I do now. I worry about the future and I just don't know what to do.
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Ah, soul brother and neighbour too.
Your condition is called depression, probably. Very vile thing, destroys everything. Worser with stress and feeling of lack of time. To be honest, not having having anything useful to say for you. Just warning you should find way get rid of that before it becomes chronic, because after what it will stays with you your whole life or at least for very long...
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And now when I'm behind I get so stressed and anxious I'm paralyzed.
Well congratulations! You're about the same as 50% of todays normal healthy and functioning adult society!
All right I'll tell you right now what I tell myself when I get behind something; "If I don't do it now I definitely won't do it the next chance I get." It seems to me you just have a bad case of procrastination and this combined with your SAD is obviously creating a lot of bad juju out of something that is relatively benign in life, school work.
I wish I could put together a string of words and shoot it like an arrow at your problems kid but truth be told I'm no psychowhateverthehell. People are entitled to their own shitty emotions (and good ones) but your problems until they become something you take out on people are your problems.
Try not to always hold on to your problems so much. Holding on to this kinda stress is like holding onto a dirty diaper; it's smells of slightly permeable shit and the more you hold it the more it strains your arm. Taking it to the shitcan is just part of your solution, teaching that baby to use a toilet is the real solution but like most things it takes time and a little bit of effort to actually get this plan rolling.
Go rub one out and sit at a chair for a good twenty minutes sitting absolutely still to help destress. Then start planning for little steps. Don't expect immediate results but do expect to do something.
Or else you'll wind up like me spending 4 years of your life in the military wondering where the hell you went wrong.
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I had this happen to me recently, however, I'm unsure if what I'm afflicted with is true depression or just bouts of hormonal rampages, as it's not constant and comes in bursts rather than all the time, the most recent being the worst (I sought nothing but being alone or with close friends, wanted nothing to do with being at home as it annoyed me, didn't care about classes or what was going on, was extremely tired, etc.)
There's not a lot to do- I could say it gets easier to recover once you've started, but it's incredibly hard to get started with recovery without a real shock or strong reason. Doing something calming- personally, I spend time with close friends or do something active- I'm not physically fit but sitting around watching TV or sleeping, while relaxing, does NOT help.