THROUGH SHENANIGANS VARIOUS AND UNCLEAR YOU MANAGED TO BECOME PART OF THE CREW OF THE FIRST SPACESHIP.
IT'S CURRENTLY SITTING ON THE LAUNCHPAD. WHAT WILL YOU DO?
CLONING PODS: 100
AUTORESPAWN: YES
TEST ENGINEERS COVERED IN CHLORINE TRIFLUORIDE: MAYBE
EQUIP SPACESUIT OVER TOP OF LEOPARD-PRINT THONG
[4] YOU YANK THE SPACESUIT OUT OF ITS STORAGE UNIT, SLAPPING IT ONTO YOURSELF WITH A SWIFT GESTURE AND FLOOD THE AREA AROUND YOU WITH ULTRAVIOLET RADIATION! HOW TYPICAL YET CALLED FOR.
UNLOCKED: #2! 1 ACP STORED IN VAULT.
BEAR HUG A RANDOM PERSON
[2] [17] YOU JUMP OUT OF YOUR SEAT AND SLAM YOURSELF INTO A PASSENGER SEVERAL ROWS UNDER YOU! THIS KILLS THE PASSENGER. YOU CUDDLE THE CORPSE TENDERLY!
-1 CLONE POD!
Make sure spacesuit can accommodate bodily features and functions, including tail and horns.
[1] YANKING THE SPACESUIT OUT OF ITS HOLDER NOT UNLIKE A PERSON SEVERAL ROWS ABOVE YOU, YOU DECIDE TO POKE HOLES IN IT TO MAKE IT MORE COMFORTABLE! WHATEVER CAN GO WRONG!
UNLOCKED: #2! 1 ACP STORED IN VAULT.
Make sure spacesuit can accommodate bodily features and functions, including tail and horns.
PURGE THE XENO.
COMBAT INITIATED!
COMBAT CAN BE INITIATED BY ANYONE AND ANYWHERE, NO MATTER THE DISTANCE OR SIMILAR FACTORS. BOTH PARTICIPANTS ARE THEN MOVED INTO MELEE RANGE, UNLESS SPECIFICALLY DEMANDED SO BY EITHER PARTY - WITH THE DEFENDER'S WISHES OVERRULING THE ATTACKER'S DURING CONFLICT - DURING INITIATION. COMBAT CAN BE ONLY INITIATED DURING A FULL TURN, BUT CAN FLOW IN BETWEEN TURNS. IN GENERAL, UP TO FIVE IN-BETWEEN TURNS OF COMBAT WILL BE PROCESSED. ADDITIONAL RULES ARE TO BE NEGOTIATED BETWEEN CREW ON A COMBAT-TO-COMBAT BASIS, HOWEVER ALL COMBAT IS TO THE DEATH.
ENTER YOUR COMMANDS: >
EXPLOSIONS!
[6] [37] YOU SPONTANTEOUSLY COMBUST! NOT EVEN THAT, BUT YOU ALSO BLOW UP THE ENGINES' SAFETY MECHANISMS, MEANING THE SPACESHIP IS LIFTING OFF AT LUDICROUS SPEED! GREAT SUCCESS!
THIS ALSO KILLS ALL THE CREWMEMBERS IN THE SAME ROW AS YOU! YOU INCLUDED! OH WELL!
-4 CLONE POD!
UNLOCKED: #9! 2 ACP STORED IN VAULT.
Pilot the ship into a known pirate infested area while screaming and Waving my laser gun about.
[2] YOU JUMP INTO THE PILOT'S SEAT AND START PULLING LEVERS ABOUT! EVERYTHING IS FLASHING! THE SHIP DOES NOT RESPOND AT ALL! THE GUY BEHIND YOU GIVES YOU A PITY REPLY!
#2: PREPARED!#9: LIFTOFF!
YOINK: SUITED!
DA_NANG:
SUITED!
DA_NANG VS HAWK132: STARTING
YOINK: 1
DA_NANG: 1
SL4CKER: 2
CLONING PODS: 95
AUTORESPAWN: YES
TEST ENGINEERS COVERED IN CHLORINE TRIFLUORIDE: NO, BUT NOW THE VAB IS
TACTICAL HUGS DELIVERED: 1