Bay 12 Games Forum
Finally... => Forum Games and Roleplaying => Topic started by: RoseHeart on September 09, 2016, 09:55:44 pm
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Get to the banana tree.
You have 4 cards and 1 mile to go. You don't know what they do but one is red, one is yellow, one is blue, one is green.
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Pray, which mile is that? Is it the one of which even the English are getting rid, or the nautical one? Maybe the Roman, or the Italian, or the Chinese?...
No, I'm guessing you're from the USA, so you perhaps use a statute mile - but again, which one?
Ahem!
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Walk towards the banana tree.
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Post to watch unit pedantry.
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Post to watch unit pedantry.
Ah like the tutorial level on Mario Bros and Beta Minecraft.
This is 1-1 my friend.
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Walk towards the banana tree.
You go the way they told you. You come up to some palm tree monkeys... they coconut bomb you!
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Throw the red card on the ground and yell "It's time to duel!" at the monkeys.
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Throw the red card on the ground and yell "It's time to duel!" at the monkeys.
Lol, don't know what's happening, but gonna sig this for the purpose of promoting dueling monkeys with red cards.
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The red card disperses in a warm glow. 3 angry monkeys, swingin' in the tree. 1 throws a coconut and bonks you on the head ...OUCH!
-SUDDENLY-
BOOOM!!
The base of the tree that had the other two monkeys ruptures and they both go plummeting off the side of the cliff into the sea!
You have one blue card, one yellow card, and one green card. And one very surprised but coconut armed monkey who still has height advantage on you.
Coconut Bonks: 1
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Show him the blue card and send him to the penalty box.
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Another coconut barrels towards you you hold up the blue card.
Defiance
The coconut is deflected back at him(or her) stunning the monkey.
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Did the monkey fall down? Get the coconut and bash with it at the monkey's head until one of them collapses. Make sure to keep the description at PG-13. ;)
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You cannot reach the monkey(still up the tree).
The censors are pleased by this.
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Grab the coconut and toss it at the monkey.
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It wakes up! It screams all sorts of dirty monkey profanities then hits you with a coconut.
Coconut Bonks: 2
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Wasn't that a banana tree?
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Wasn't that a banana tree?
No.
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Oh.
All right, then.
We want bananas, not coconuts; leave the monkey alone and go find a banana tree.
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Monkey retreats as you leave. You come to a winding cliffside path. The ocean far below.
Suddenly a sea creature, 100% not a Gyarados, rises up and grimmaces at you. So large it looks down on you.
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Say hello politely.
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The red card disperses in a warm glow. 3 angry monkeys, swingin' in the tree. 1 throws a coconut and bonks you on the head ...OUCH!
-SUDDENLY-
Strike
The base of the tree that had the other two monkeys ruptures and they both go plummeting off the side of the cliff into the sea!
You have one blue card, one yellow card, and one green card. And one very surprised but coconut armed monkey who still has height advantage on you.
Coconut Bonks: 1
Ret'd
The Gyarados non © sea monster swallows you whole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!daaaaaaamnboi!!!!!!!!
*you black out*
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Get to the banana tree.
You have 4 cards and 1 mile to go. You don't know what they do but one is red, one is yellow, one is blue, one is green.
Hints on gameplay can also be absorbed here (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=160518.0).
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bump
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stop being unconscious
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Huh, I thought we were dead.
Engage psychedelic dream sequence
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Nope you're just at the beginning.
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Avoid coconut trees, monkeys, and the sea; find a a banana tree. Watch out for land mines. In fact, keep well inland and avoid any tree that isn't a banana tree, and land mines. If the banana tree is near a coconut tree, monkeys, the sea, or land mines, avoid it too.
See? We can learn about coconut trees, monkeys, and the sea. Ha!, we can even expect land mines! The only thing nobody expects is...
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The only thing nobody expects is...
[Insert python reference here]
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The only thing nobody expects is...
[Insert python reference here]
Sure!
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/87/18/99/871899d3555585513453341904939071.jpg)
Ha! I bet you didn't expect THAT!
Erm...sorry, wrong image... Ah, here we go!
(http://epikfails.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Spanish-Inquisition.jpg)
Ha! I bet you didn't expect THAT!
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It must be this banana tree. So they say...
Perhaps... they wouldn't notice the difference.
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Look suspiciously at the tree. "Excuse me, would you by any chance be a banana tree?"
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Too far away.
1 mile to go...
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Mile? Which kind? Never mind, I can't be bothered to know; just tell me the distance in metres.
While you make the conversion (mind not to crash any space craft), we'll walk one thousand double steps and hope our legs are the right size. Do mind those land mines, though.
And monkeys.
Oh, and coconut trees, and the seaside. Was there anything else?...
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You talk to yourself, complaining about the vague directions.
But deep down you know it's worth it for her...
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Pah! She's not worth a drop of my effort. Best thing I did was kicking the expensive manipulative psycho bitch from hell out of my life; the second best was becoming a misogynistic philanderer and start using dating sites as women catalogues when I'm in the mood for company.
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All right, apparently I wasn't using the "right" kind of mile, or my double steps are slightly different, or it's the wrong phase of the moon, whatever. Bloody rubbish provincial measurement units, can't even get decimal right...
I'll keep walking until I find an interactive highlighting pixel (keeping an eye out for trouble and banana trees).
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Go troll this topic I could use the bumping.
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=160719.msg7185243#msg7185243