Bay 12 Games Forum
Finally... => Life Advice => Topic started by: Urist McScoopbeard on June 20, 2018, 08:52:17 am
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Hey all,
I'm just wondering if there's enough here to go to talk to a doctor and see what they think. In short, over the past year-and-a-half/two years I've been acting a little strangely and it's definitely begun to affect my work/study habits as well as pretty much getting anything done at all.
I mean, difficulty getting organized, bored easily, I start a ton of projects that I never finish. I've started zoning out more and forgetting stuff a lot more easily once a conversation becomes "boring" (it doesn't really, but like I just start tuning things out unconsciously after a point--like usually only a couple of seconds in at this point), a general impatience which I formerly did not have.
I do this thing where I pace around and have conversations in my head when I'm by myself and if I want to get something done, I'll literally have to enter another room and close the door to prevent me from continuing pacing--which doesn't always work anyways. Getting wrapped up in things in general is what I do.
Not to mention tons of impulsive pen-clicking, leg-bouncing, and fingernail gnawing.
Carelessness when I AM FULLY AWARE THAT I NEED TO BE CAREFUL. Same thing for being rude/angry--I often talk myself into and out of things and sometimes need people to check me to make sure I'm not being ridiculous and fantastical.
IDK, I could go on, but I've kind of suspected for a while that I have mild ADD/ADHD. I have heard that it can show itself as you get older and your life grows more complicated. Should I go see a doctor or something? I tried my best to offset it all as best I can with scheduling and chipping away at things and lists, but I'm hella bad at doing that stuff regularly and there have been several times in my life now where this shit has really affected my grades/stopped me from even starting on important projects/left me with like an hour to get important shit done--and to be clear, usually what happens is I know I have to do something and possibly even WANT to do something and brain is like nope you should go do something else that is whimsical and fun and I feel like I have no control over it. If I overcome that urge and DO get started on whatever it is I have to do, usually I'll just sit there for 2-3 hours trying to work myself up to it.
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are you secretly me
I don't pace, but a lot of this sounds very relatable to me, and i decided to go to a doctor with it. It's not really an issue when i'm just lolligagging, but it's a pain in the arse when studying/working, especially if it's something boring that HAS to be done. I've yet to learn anything though, today was my first appointment with the psychiatrist. :v
Generally though, if it's causing you problems with regular functioning, it's worth poking a professional about, and it definitely sounds like it's having an impact. If nothing else, you can clear out the suspicion and spend that bit of brainpower elsewhere. :P
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Thanks fellas,
This is both a relieving and stressful possibility for me. I'm getting a family friend to recommend a therapist or other specialist. I just hope there's something I can do about it. I have always felt like I just "can't do things", because I get easily distracted or it's impossible to force myself to focus. When I read these symptoms, it was so strange to see literally every problem I have described in one place. I dunno. Anyhoo, I appreciate the support, and hopefully it all pans in out soon!
EDIT: I'm trying not to like talk myself into thinking I have ADHD before I get diagnosed by a professional. Is there a way to be a little more objective about considering whether or not the symptoms might line up with past behavior???
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Can also relate to that question, i find myself having to be careful to not subconsciously start acting more weird than i normally do. :v
One course of action for that would be to ask outside sources, i.e. family members or past teachers or whatever, since they have an outside perspective on your behaviour. Also make sure to remember (if you don't already) that even if you do get diagnosed with AD(H)D, it doesn't actually change who you are, it just means you know what's going on and can start working on improving it.
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Also sound advice. For me, I've already kind of been aware of many of these symptoms like forgetfulness, difficulty with organization, impulse control, etc. etc.--I just didn't really connect it with a mental disorder, I thought I was just kind of lazy. I've done my best to manage them, but as I've gotten older it's increasingly difficult, with last year really being almost impossible to function normally in terms of getting my work done and generally being productive. So, I don't know if I have ADHD, but if I do, it would explain a lot of my difficulties and might be treatable to a certain extent. To reiterate, I'm only bringing it up because it is now becoming impossible to manage. I've been managing it, I need a new strategy or x, y, or z.
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If it's a thing of 'the past two years' it's not very likely to be ADHD. ADHD is something you are born with.
It would have manifested in primary school, or highschool already.
That doesn't mean it's not something you might want to have checked out by a professional though.
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Sorry, maybe I didn't express it properly--also like I said, idk if I actually have ADHD or it's just nothing. I've SUSPECTED for two years that I may have ADHD, I can remember the symptoms all the way back to middle school (being disorganized past any point of reasonableness, being scatterbrained, floating from project-to-project/hobby-to-hobby, self esteem issues/other minor social problems like blurting things out or talking over people or getting needlessly aggressive, restlessness, hyperfocus to the max, and spotty listening skills. It's gotten significantly harder to focus in general over the past 12 years (I don't really remember primary school so...), from a time when I was able to complete boat loads of work in just a few hours to barely being able to get important projects done over a week/several weeks. Up until 3ish years ago I was pretty much able to force myself to do stuff and then over the past 2 years as it's gotten increasingly worse, I've suspected something is wrong. The only thing that got me through college I think is the fact that I love writing and I was able to just be absorbed by writing scripts and short stories.
Who knows what it is, if anything, but I just kind of stumbled across an article concerning ADHD in adults and I was like holy schmidt this sounds exactly like me.
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You should go see a doctor with this. If you don't the problem will just continue to exist and you will keep wondering what is wrong.
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!!!
Yes. Sorry, yes, update! I have an appointment set with my therapist this week. I don't know if she will refer me to someone else or what, but at least hopefully we can get some kind of diagnosis or plan of action here.
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One thing you can use to ground you is to look for physical symptoms. For example, people who have ADHD react differently to stimulants than most people who don't. If I recall correctly, there are others. These are harder to talk yourself into/out of.
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One thing you can use to ground you is to look for physical symptoms. For example, people who have ADHD react differently to stimulants than most people who don't. If I recall correctly, there are others. These are harder to talk yourself into/out of.
I know you feel like you've been drinking a few kegs of Styx wash, but you need to CENTER yourself. Among your possessions is a JOURNAL that'll shed some light on the dark of the matter. PHAROD can fill you in on the rest of the chant, if he's not in the dead-book already.
Don't lose the journal or we'll be up the Styx again. And whatever you do, DO NOT tell anyone WHO you are or WHAT happens to you, or they'll put you on a quick pilgrimage to the crematorium. Do what I tell you: READ the journal, then FIND Pharod.
Don't trust the skull
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One thing you can use to ground you is to look for physical symptoms. For example, people who have ADHD react differently to stimulants than most people who don't. If I recall correctly, there are others. These are harder to talk yourself into/out of.
I know you feel like you've been drinking a few kegs of Styx wash, but you need to CENTER yourself. Among your possessions is a JOURNAL that'll shed some light on the dark of the matter. PHAROD can fill you in on the rest of the chant, if he's not in the dead-book already.
Don't lose the journal or we'll be up the Styx again. And whatever you do, DO NOT tell anyone WHO you are or WHAT happens to you, or they'll put you on a quick pilgrimage to the crematorium. Do what I tell you: READ the journal, then FIND Pharod.
Don't trust the skull
What prompted you to reference Planescape: Torment...?
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Go get tested. Most of that sounds like the same issues that prompted me to do so, and it was a good decision.
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Thanks fellahs,
I've been to my therapist several times now, she seems to agree on the ADHD assessment and added in that it seemed like I had some anxiety issues as well (which makes sense to me). I've an appointment to possibly acquire a prescription.
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Okay, medications can be one way to handle things. Just, be warned they might not do it all, or have their own drawbacks.
Another might be to pay attention to the most egregious problems and find alternative solutions to those problems. I personally, have been told by doctors and family that I should be drugged to the gills to integrate into society. I haven't taken mind altering drugs for my ADHD since college. The trick, in my case, was figuring out my own patterns in productivity and attention, and tailoring things around it. For instance, if you've gotta bunch a work to do, but cannot focus, change project, swap between different jobs so you're still getting your work done, just, you know, not working on the same thing. Feed that impatience without letting it disrupt the work flow.
Small details, but I learned to work them in my favour. Another example would be the fact I don't have games on my phones. Small detail, I know. I've a laptop for all my gaming needs, but when I'm with friends or family, I can just, you know, hang out without being distracted. Pay attention, find the workarounds. I'm not saying meds wont work. They might. Just be prepared to try and mix and match solutions to find the best for you.
~Yami.
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Thanks for the advice. I'm also doing a fair bit to kind of reorder my life. Get on a manageable schedule. Get things done. I'm not always following it, but I've been more productive since i've implemented these changes/started seeing my therapist. Combined with going back to school for art (aka something I do very much hyper focus on), I think I can begin to manage things again.
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I'm glad you got diagnosed. I have ADHD myself, I was diagnosed as a kid, AND I have anxiety problems, so I can relate a lot. XD I was actually doing the pacing thing a few minutes ago. I like to walk around sometimes, just thinking things out loud (even things I've gone over). But to be fair, I remember reading that not only can pacing be soothing, but it CAN also stimulate creativity, so I also do it when I'm trying to think out an idea.
I can also suggest a couple books for you to take a look at. Saw them listed by someone else online a long time ago. One is "You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid, Or Crazy" by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo. It's a book all about adult ADHD, understand it and how to deal with it. I really suggest getting a copy and checking it out.
Another book you could look at is "When Too Much Isn't Enough" by Wendy Richardson. It's all about dealing with things when ADHD plays a part in getting addicted to things, because adults with it are more prone to getting addicted to stuff. Not just substances, but food or shopping or stuff like that, so it could be insightful as well.
Also, you could check out ADDitude Magazine. It's all about ADD/ADHD. I don't really use it myself, but my mom subscribed to it years ago, and it could also be useful for you.
I hope that helps. Good luck!
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Do you feel belly pain, headhache, have difficulty sleeping, relationship troubles and unpredictable moodswings ?
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Do you feel belly pain, headhache, have difficulty sleeping, relationship troubles and unpredictable moodswings ?
Yarp! EDIT: Seriously though, very much so.
I have been given an official diagnosis of ADHD and Anxiety. I will be going through my university's behavioral health services to be evaluated for a prescription.
EDIT: I simply couldn't arrange a session before leaving for school. Which is unfortunate, but there is a plan.
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Those are the usual symptoms of chronic stress. Depression share them aswell, but since you're being creative, you're probably not suffering from depression (yet). Tho be very aware that chronic stress can degenerate into depression very quickly in the absence of proper support. Also it can fuck up your body permanently, which is where the belly pain come from.
Edit : I don't know very much ADHD, and I'm not a medical professional, and only a medical professional can properly diagnose you
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I used to be severely depressed and got therapy about ~5 years ago. It's been a lot easier to deal with since.
And to be clear, just in case I wasn't, I don't have much in the way of unexplained pains. Sometimes headaches, but a good bit of relationship trouble and mood swings.
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No, no, it's been clear. Body pains took years to develop for me. Whatever the case if you're looking for medical help you're doing something right. Best of luck in any case
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Thanks. I have had problems with stress in the past (not to the point of having to seek counseling), but the for most part after being in therapy again, I think a lot of it was directly caused by the ADHD and anxiety.
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The body pains could be related to anxiety. I myself suffer from psychosomatic symptoms, psychologically generated, so I have gotten quite a few weird sensations or mild aches that aren't actually real. Trust me, it's still pretty freaky when it happens, and that it happens at all.
The mood swings too, could be ADHD. Changes in mood are a symptom. ADHD can be co-morbid with other disorders like bipolar disorder or clinical depression, but it can also simulate the symptoms of those things, like the mood swings and bipolar disorder. Except when it's pure ADHD, the mood swings occur to quick to be the actual disorder.
Still, I'd talk to your doctor about these things. Oh, and if you're looking into medicine, be careful. You could need to go through a few, and even some dosage adjustments. Some medicines don't work for everyone, or they have rather strange reactions. In that first book I mentioned before, they said that some kids actually ended up being LETHARGIC on STIMULANT medication. Yeah, go figure. But that's the way it goes sometimes with ADHD. Some medicine work, some don't.
Also, medicine isn't the end all cure. It just opens up the possibility by trying to balance the neurotransmitters in the brain.
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Aight. Let me lay it out more clearly. I think maybe lack of updates has caused undue speculation.
So first things first, I do not have any pain in the manner that you are thinking. I am generally (aside from a few isolated periods of time where I really let myself go) a relatively healthy person, there are very few past injuries that bother me (being young and all, asides from a really bad roll on my left ankle which causes tightness). I have gotten headaches from compulsively clenching my muscles. To be specific, usually the muscles at the base of my skull or my levator scapulae (my right shoulder sometimes locks up to the point where I can't relax this muscle in particular), this is caused from me stressing out about stuff, a lot of which stems from the anxiety. Meditation and personal training do a lot to alleviate any lasting pain.
That aside, I've been in therapy for ~2 months now? Already, my therapist has helped me a lot in setting reasonable goals for myself, keeping productive, and helping make use of any resources I'll have once I get to SCAD. Don't get me wrong, I am not flying off the handle with excitement about medication--I stopped taking my depression meds as soon as I felt I had dug myself out of the hole and I know there can be bad side effects and there's some degree of experimentation required to see which ADHD med might work best for me, but my ADHD (which is now looking very certain; I am officially diagnosed with it) and all the symptoms therein are pretty bad.
Truthfully, I have no idea how much or how little ADHD medication will help me. But for me to function in this society and make a living for myself without losing my shit, something has to change. I don't want to claim I am victim or anything, I've certainly made a lot of bad decisions on my own, but the ADHD and the Anxiety make 99% of small mistakes, missteps, and hiccups huge, sometimes embarrassing problems (It's hard to reach your potential when you're too distracted to practice).
It is difficult for me to explain the tangible effect on my life--there's just too much to say--but the most important part is how difficult it is for me to work. Sure, when I'm hyperfocused, there's no problem, I can bang out 20 pages of writing, or 6 pages of comic sketches, or whole term papers in a night. But other times... I can only explain it like having a thought slip through your fingers. You want to do something, or even NEED to do something really vital, you know it's important, but you just... can't. I wish the previous analogy was just colorful description, but I have literally fought for 12+ hours a day to keep a project in my head, the process of formulating content and organizing information becomes like mental quicksand, and the even thinking about thinking about it becomes difficult. But truly the best description is that you just... can't. You try your hardest and nothing comes out, it's like racing someone faster than you, you want to go faster and you think you might even be able to, but no matter how much you try in the moment you just... can't.
I don't know what meds will do for me, but I hope that if I'm having a bad day they'll be the difference between putting it off until later and just doing something now, the difference between zoning out of a conversation part way through and staying engaged the whole time, the difference between being able to read a whole paragraph rather than skip to the end, etc. etc. etc. That's all just a small part of the many intangible, unbelievable-sounding, and hard-to-explain ways that ADHD messes with me. Not to mention the anxiety (which I never really considered as anxiety until I was forced to look at how I worry about stuff and how often it stops me from doing things/affects my behavior).
So ya.
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So, my appointment to be evaluated for medication was cancelled by the clinic due to some kind of yearly administrative stuff, they offered to reschedule but didn't have anything before I moved to Atlanta.
I have, at the least, set up an appointment with SCAD Atlanta counselors so that I can hopefully just stay in therapy. It's helped a lot thus far, and I think continued life coaching will probably be good for me.
But I've also still got to consider medication and inevitably there's going to be even more delay (having to explain the situation to a new therapist, getting my old therapist to send over her diagnosis, etc. etc.) I think I will be okay for now, but I was hoping to have things wrapped up around this time. Such is life I suppose, the important thing now is to just keep at it, mentally, that is.
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Poor concentration, lack of motivation and mood-instability are a common symptom of many mental-illnesses.
Just try to make certain that your attention issues aren't mostly the result of untreated anxiety or depression, because in my personal experience being incorrectly
diagnosed with ADHD when the underlying condition was depression caused me to suffer a long delay in finding correct medicinal treatment, without which I had no chance of recovery.
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Well the silver lining of changing therapists is getting a second opinion, so cool. My therapist did diagnose me with ADHD AND Anxiety so... we will see what the school's therapist has to say.
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Considering my therapy session is Tuesday, I'm gonna go ahead and roll this thread into my other life advice thread (because, let's be real, I am not at all worthy of two active life advice threads, lol)
I. DECLARE. LOCKED.