Post by: Enemy post on April 16, 2020, 12:51:21 pm
Spoiler: Longer backstory (click to show/hide)
You are apocalypse survivors who live in a settlement.
The world ran out of milk.
You must acquire more.
Spoiler: Rules (click to show/hide)
Character template:
Name:
Description:
Why do you want milk?
Spoiler: Players (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: NPCs (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Locations (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Hall of Milk (click to show/hide)
Turn list:1, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8126571#msg8126571)2, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8127081#msg8127081)3, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8127743#msg8127743)4, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8128207#msg8128207)5, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8128757#msg8128757)6, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8129887#msg8129887)7, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8131002#msg8131002)8, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8131708#msg8131708)9, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8133123#msg8133123)10, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8134000#msg8134000)11, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8134776#msg8134776)12, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8135578#msg8135578)13, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8136595#msg8136595)14, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8137859#msg8137859)15, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8138906#msg8138906)16, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8139844#msg8139844)17, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8140762#msg8140762)18, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8141709#msg8141709)19, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8142809#msg8142809)20, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8143757#msg8143757)21, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8144839#msg8144839)22, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8145662#msg8145662)23, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8146522#msg8146522)24, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8147268#msg8147268)25, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8148197#msg8148197)26, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8149217#msg8149217)Recap, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8150245#msg8150245)27, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8151084#msg8151084)28, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8152084#msg8152084)29, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8153221#msg8153221)30, (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8154141#msg8154141)Epilogue. (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8155822#msg8155822)
Minimalism and Milk 1 (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=163787.0)
Post by: Glass on April 16, 2020, 01:13:09 pm
Description: A chupacabra milk scientist (that is, a milk scientist that is a chupacabra)
Why do you want milk? Research, obviously. And because it could make me a fuckton of money and prestige. And also people need to drink stuff.
Post by: Imic on April 16, 2020, 01:53:39 pm
Description: Has a tattered beige jumper a long, equally tattered brown coat, and a real beard. Lives in a TARDIS which has been jury-rigged to oblivion and decorated with antiques.
Why do you want milk?
The blood of this universe is milk. Vast apocalypses have been fuelled again and again by a small absence of milk. As long as there is no milk, there will be no safety, no peace, no end to the bloodshed, and no milk for the tea. The milk must flow, or this hell will never end.
Post by: ziizo on April 16, 2020, 02:01:21 pm
Description: Male Human (T'zzz cultist).
Why do you want milk?The cult believes we can use it for a Ritual to empower T'zzz (the mind and janitor of the universe), so it may someday fix everything.
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on April 16, 2020, 02:27:57 pm
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on April 16, 2020, 02:29:41 pm
Description: A classically handsome man with blond hair and heterochromatic eyes, one blue, and one red with black sclera. He wears a loose-fitting blue and red hoodie with holy and demonic designs haphazardly strewn across it, cargo pants with lots of pockets, mismatched white and black socks, mismatched red and blue shoes, and an eyepatch that can be switched to cover either eye. He has a guitar on his back with different color strings and with a symbol etched and in it and colored.
He is definitely not an Angel/Demon Hybrid.
Why do you want milk?
The world is broken. It's about time someone fixed it.
Spoiler: String colors in order (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Guitar Symbol (click to show/hide)
Post by: Roboson on April 16, 2020, 02:35:35 pm
Name: Luis Dougris
Description: A paranormal investigator and practicing occultist. His bespectacled face is hardened from years of hunting vampires, werewolves, and other such unnatural beings. He is well dressed, mostly in neutral tones, and has a surprisingly calming voice for one so acquainted with violence and the supernatural.
Why do you want milk?
A few years ago, he discovered an ancient and forbidden tome, the lacnomicon. Yet, at the time, the world was full of milk and the book was too powerful for him. Now, that world's milk is gone and the book is weak, he can finally probe those dark and spoiled pages. He needs milk to unlock the lacnomicon's deepest secrets and perverse rituals.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 16, 2020, 02:38:43 pm
Description: A black bodied Byakhee with a purple head, blue and black wings, green eyes, and maroon feet and hands
Why do you want milk? To create new milk planets with new milk creatures and milk plants to hopefully add new life to replace what was lost
Post by: TricMagic on April 16, 2020, 03:46:56 pm
Description: Broken data from the height of japan's animated internet, who was cast adrift from systems as a ghost. Looks like a cute white-haired catgirl. How she got here is anyone's guess.
Why do you want milk?: To create a Milk Network and revive the connections between life.
Post by: Superdorf on April 16, 2020, 04:14:08 pm
Name: GUNTHAR HORNHELM, warrior of the northern wastes!
Description: A crazy old guy in stained undershirt, khaki shorts and a pair of yellow "crocs". A milk-jug helm protects his bald and lumpy skull, two cardboard horns taped on the sides in true Viking fashion.
Why does Gunthar want milk? To put on Gunthar's BREAKFAST CEREAL!
(Gunthar does not have breakfast cereal. Gunthar will have to find some of that too.)
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on April 16, 2020, 04:16:14 pm
(https://imgur.com/0Fwwtda.png)...yes
Name: GUNTHAR HORNHELM, warrior of the northern wastes!
Post by: darkwarlock3 on April 16, 2020, 04:45:26 pm
Description: Joey Bones is a 6'8 tall skeleton, his body has sharped bones on his joints, feet, hands, his head is that of lizards, he also has a skeletal tail, also posses glowing green eyes, inside his skulls mouth is long luminescent tongue made of ectoplasm like substance, the tip of his fingers are black, along his skull are red lines that go across it, he wears a cloak over his body..
Why do you want milk? to drink and make my bones stronger, even if i don't have any way to digest it.
Post by: Enemy post on April 16, 2020, 09:54:21 pm
Name: Ssarscel
Description: A chupacabra milk scientist (that is, a milk scientist that is a chupacabra)
Why do you want milk? Research, obviously. And because it could make me a fuckton of money and prestige. And also people need to drink stuff.
You are Ssarscel, the chupacabra milk scientist. Your kind has flourished since The Event, thanks to your incredible resilience. You're currently in a laboratory you built yourself, on the second floor of a ramshackle building in this mostly human settlement. You're all set up to research milk, if you had any. As you know, milk is very hard to come by these days.
Name: Shaun O’ Brian
Description: Has a tattered beige jumper a long, equally tattered brown coat, and a real beard. Lives in a TARDIS which has been jury-rigged to oblivion and decorated with antiques.
Why do you want milk?
The blood of this universe is milk. Vast apocalypses have been fuelled again and again by a small absence of milk. As long as there is no milk, there will be no safety, no peace, no end to the bloodshed, and no milk for the tea. The milk must flow, or this hell will never end.
You are Shaun O' Brian, and you've seen some things. Time travelling is a complicated profession, but what you've been through is far beyond what most travellers could stand. The world has fallen. You were there when the Mad Titan destroyed the milk. You know that for any sort of healing to truly begin, you've got to find a way to bring back what was lost.
For now though, you've parked your TARDIS in a settlement you found. The damaged, heavily customized green phone box fits in well among the eclectic material the town was built from. The Christmas lights you used to replace the failing lamps in the control room flicker as you plan your next move.
Name: Adam Smith
Description: Male Human (T'zzz cultist).
Why do you want milk?The cult believes we can use it for a Ritual to empower T'zzz (the mind and janitor of the universe), so it may someday fix everything.
You are Adam Smith. The people in the settlement that surrounds you are going about their day. They cling to what routines are still possible, just trying to get along with their day, and accepting what the world has become. The cult of T'zzz knows the truth. You know the truth. There is a way back to what you had before. The New Dreamer, The Janitor, T'zzz. During the Event, T'zzz usurped Azathoth as the Dreamer of the universe. If you can only find a way to contact him, you and your brethren in the cult can get T'zzz to restore the Dream to what it was before. Better, even. T'zzz was a janitor after all. It's his job to clean up messes.
Name: Adam Young
Description: A classically handsome man with blond hair and heterochromatic eyes, one blue, and one red with black sclera. He wears a loose-fitting blue and red hoodie with holy and demonic designs haphazardly strewn across it, cargo pants with lots of pockets, mismatched white and black socks, mismatched red and blue shoes, and an eyepatch that can be switched to cover either eye. He has a guitar on his back with different color strings and with a symbol etched and in it and colored.
He is definitely not an Angel/Demon Hybrid.
Why do you want milk?
The world is broken. It's about time someone fixed it.Spoiler: String colors in order (click to show/hide)Spoiler: Guitar Symbol (click to show/hide)
A tower of corpses looms above you, splitting the clouds with its laughter. An army swirls around a broken castle, and the cup of a carpenter rises above the fray.
A fingersnap.
You start awake. Looks like you dozed off on a bench by the side of the dirt road of this settlement. The people around you continue to mill about, working on their survival. Very carefully, you tune your guitar as you gather your bearings.
Character template:
Name: Luis Dougris
Description: A paranormal investigator and practicing occultist. His bespectacled face is hardened from years of hunting vampires, werewolves, and other such unnatural beings. He is well dressed, mostly in neutral tones, and has a surprisingly calming voice for one so acquainted with violence and the supernatural.
Why do you want milk?
A few years ago, he discovered an ancient and forbidden tome, the lacnomicon. Yet, at the time, the world was full of milk and the book was too powerful for him. Now, that world's milk is gone and the book is weak, he can finally probe those dark and spoiled pages. He needs milk to unlock the lacnomicon's deepest secrets and perverse rituals.
You are Luis Dougris, paranormal investigator and practicing occultist. Your career has left you more suited than most for dealing with the unnatural and the unexpected. Nobody was truly prepared for The Event, but perhaps that was why you survived when so many others didn't. You've even managed to discover a new opportunity in the wastelands. The Lacnomicon's powers are now opened to you, thanks to the greatly weakened presence of milk in the universe. Your ritual chamber beneath the town is prepared for your experimentations, but you'll need milk to get started. That may be difficult to come by, these days.
Name: Rana
Description: A black bodied Byakhee with a purple head, blue and black wings, green eyes, and maroon feet and hands
Why do you want milk? To create new milk planets with new milk creatures and milk plants to hopefully add new life to replace what was lost
You are Rana. You've come a long way from the little voice-mimic who once appeared on the Moloko. The monstrous form you have possessed floats quietly into town and alights atop a pieced-together clock tower, out of sight of the townsfolk.
What will you do next?
Name: Cistern
Description: Broken data from the height of japan's animated internet, who was cast adrift from systems as a ghost. Looks like a cute white-haired catgirl. How she got here is anyone's guess.
Why do you want milk?: To create a Milk Network and revive the connections between life.And maybe power everyone with Milk Energy.Also to drink Milk to stay active.
You are Cistern. An old antenna sparks and flickers to life from a rusted robot currently used to prop up a lean-to. With a flash of lightning and a chipper electronic tune, you pop into physical form in an alleyway, out of sight of most of the people in this settlement. Maybe this place has some leads you can use for the Milk Network?
(https://imgur.com/0Fwwtda.png)
Name: GUNTHAR HORNHELM, warrior of the northern wastes!
Description: A crazy old guy in stained undershirt, khaki shorts and a pair of yellow "crocs". A milk-jug helm protects his bald and lumpy skull, two cardboard horns taped on the sides in true Viking fashion.
Why does Gunthar want milk? To put on Gunthar's BREAKFAST CEREAL!
(Gunthar does not have breakfast cereal. Gunthar will have to find some of that too.)
You are GUNTHAR HORNHELM, warrior of the northern wastes! Your mighty helmet squeaks and wobbles against your head as you march into the street. You stumble a bit, and one of your crocs nearly falls into the gutter. As you reequip your shoe, you consider the path ahead. Your BREAKFAST CEREAL with MILK awaits!
What will be the first step in your quest?
Name: Joey Bones
Description: Joey Bones is a 6'8 tall skeleton, his body has sharped bones on his joints, feet, hands, his head is that of lizards, he also has a skeletal tail, also posses glowing green eyes, inside his skulls mouth is long luminescent tongue made of ectoplasm like substance, the tip of his fingers are black, along his skull are red lines that go across it, he wears a cloak over his body..
Why do you want milk? to drink and make my bones stronger, even if i don't have any way to digest it.
You are Joey Bones. You loom well over the heads of most of the townsfolk here. Not so long ago, your reptilian and skeletal form might well have been the stuff of nightmares, but people are harder to scare these days. Even now, it's at least in the running.
You glance over to your fridge. It's been far too long since you had any milk. That's not good. You need milk if you want strong bones.
What will you do to get it?
OOC:Welcome back to Minimalism and Milk, everyone!
Post by: Superdorf on April 16, 2020, 10:05:37 pm
To obtain milk for breakfast cereal, GUNTHAR HORNHELM will have to slay many trolls and jötuns! To slay trolls and jötuns, GUNTHAR HORNHELM must first obtain a proper weapon for glorious jötun slaughter-- and what better weapon for glorious jötun slaughter than a MIGHTY AXE?
YES!
GUNTHAR HORNHELM SEEKS OUT A MIGHTY AXE.
Post by: darkwarlock3 on April 16, 2020, 10:07:54 pm
Post by: Glass on April 16, 2020, 10:13:11 pm
I'm trying to research ways to produce milk. Fabrication and the like. Are there any accessible records of the molecular structure of milk? I need them.
Post by: Yoink on April 16, 2020, 10:22:53 pm
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on April 16, 2020, 10:27:00 pm
Adam had a plan. Not the most well thought out plan, but a plan none the less... or maybe not. Quest might be the best word. Anyway, to start any good quest, there is one thing you must do, go to a tavern and collect a group of Highly Skilled adventurers... or whatever passed these days.
Adventurer Pre-Quest Checklist:
1. Find allies
A. Main Frontline Fighter
B. Support Unit
C. Healer
D. Main Magic fighter
E. Sneaky Unit
F. Nature Expert
2. Get Supplies
3. Talk to all the people for info on quest
4. Checklist still in progress
Post by: Avetruetotheimperator on April 17, 2020, 12:04:58 am
Description:A scientifically proven Living Fossil, Ashford claims to be a genetic throwback to the Neanderthal. Superior to 'sapes in all aspects (except grueling perfectionism), he operates out of his self sustaining bunker in a quest to bring forth the great INCLINE into the world with his masterpiece of Old Skool RPG Wizardy dungeoncrawling, TOME! From this magnum opus, the curse of popamole and milk-obsessed madmen will finally end. A task decades in the making, ridiculed on the remaining net servers as but vaporware, but soon it shall be completed! Soon, they will all learn, to always bet on neanderthal!!!
Why do you want milk?:
There is one last microissue in the way of completing TOME, namely, the need for coolant for both the Vault-OS supercomputer and generator. The only substance that can handle the raw INCLINE of TOME is milk, preferably the legendary MILK OF SANTA ANA. Though, sufficient quantities of regular milk could do...
Post by: CABL on April 17, 2020, 12:38:52 am
Name: Joshua Cortez
Description: A tan-skinned man wearing a duster and a big cowboy hat, that may as well be a wizard hat. He's wandered many places across the Wasteland, doing a bunch of scouting jobs for various tribes and settlements.
Why do you want milk: An old mysterious man told me to seek it, for it's the beverage that will change my life completely once I'll drink it.
Check the rumors around the town about milk.
Post by: Imic on April 17, 2020, 03:32:18 am
Post by: King Zultan on April 17, 2020, 03:42:05 am
Description: A government hating one antlered deer man that somehow survived everything and made it to Earth.
Why do you want milk? Everyone else wants it so he also wants it, and it might be able to kill whats left of the government.
Post by: ziizo on April 17, 2020, 05:43:53 am
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 17, 2020, 08:13:24 am
Post by: Roboson on April 17, 2020, 09:20:27 am
His work in the old world had been extensive, and there were other less than savory tomes and artifacts which opened conduits to power. Yes... Among them he would find the tools he would need... Search through my ritual chambers for non-milk related dark rituals and artifacts.
Post by: TricMagic on April 17, 2020, 04:32:13 pm
Post by: The Canadian kitten on April 17, 2020, 08:34:54 pm
Description: A guy is wearing a red shirt and black shorts with a bathrobe on the outside. Also, wearing slippers
Why do you want milk?: Who eats cereal without milk?
Post by: Enemy post on April 17, 2020, 10:03:43 pm
(https://i.imgur.com/0Fwwtda.png)
To obtain milk for breakfast cereal, GUNTHAR HORNHELM will have to slay many trolls and jötuns! To slay trolls and jötuns, GUNTHAR HORNHELM must first obtain a proper weapon for glorious jötun slaughter-- and what better weapon for glorious jötun slaughter than a MIGHTY AXE?
YES!
GUNTHAR HORNHELM SEEKS OUT A MIGHTY AXE.
1
A MIGHTY AXE would be well suited to killing trolls and jötuns! After wandering around a bit, you finally spot one. An oddly dressed stranger in blue and red clothing has what seems to be a colorful axe slung on his back. You watch as he gets up from a bench and walks into a nearby bar.
Joey bones will go to a local bar to listen for rumors about milk
3
As all the ancient traditions hold, bars (and innkeepers) are the best source of information mankind has yet to discover. Many tales have started in places like these. As it stands though, you don't find anything immediately relevant. However, you do see a man who says he's looking for adventurers to help him in a quest.
Nonono, you don't understand. I'm not so much trying to research milk itself.
I'm trying to research ways to produce milk. Fabrication and the like. Are there any accessible records of the molecular structure of milk? I need them.
6
You look through your books and notes, looking for an idea on where to learn about milk's molecular structure. Too bad the Internet's gone. The humans who used it have often mentioned that it used to be much easier to find information like that. According to your maps, the closest source of such knowledge would be at the Florence Memorial library a few miles southeast of town.
Of course, everyone knows that Florence Memorial is...not a good place.
TRADE BOTTLE CAPS FOR MILK AT NEAREST SETTLEMENT
6
A soft note from a blackened ukulele seems to float through the air as you walk into town. You march into the bar and offer the bartender your pouch of caps for a glass of milk. The bartender takes your money, takes care of someone else's order, and then passes you a beer. When he sees your questioning expression, he shrugs. "Whattsa matter? It's what you ordered, innit?"
Name: Slash Ashford
Description:A scientifically proven Living Fossil, Ashford claims to be a genetic throwback to the Neanderthal. Superior to 'sapes in all aspects (except grueling perfectionism), he operates out of his self sustaining bunker in a quest to bring forth the great INCLINE into the world with his masterpiece of Old Skool RPG Wizardy dungeoncrawling, TOME! From this magnum opus, the curse of popamole and milk-obsessed madmen will finally end. A task decades in the making, ridiculed on the remaining net servers as but vaporware, but soon it shall be completed! Soon, they will all learn, to always bet on neanderthal!!!
Why do you want milk?:
There is one last microissue in the way of completing TOME, namely, the need for coolant for both the Vault-OS supercomputer and generator. The only substance that can handle the raw INCLINE of TOME is milk, preferably the legendary MILK OF SANTA ANA. Though, sufficient quantities of regular milk could do...
You are Slash Ashford, the Living Fossil. You currently find yourself in a bar, planning how you're going to find the legendary MILK OF SANTA ANA. As you consider this, a man in blue and red clothing walks in and starts trying to hire adventurers for a quest.
((Sorry for being late to the party; I went to sleep earlier than usual yesterday))(No problem. Glad to have you aboard for one more M&M game!)
Name: Joshua Cortez
Description: A tan-skinned man wearing a duster and a big cowboy hat, that may as well be a wizard hat. He's wandered many places across the Wasteland, doing a bunch of scouting jobs for various tribes and settlements.
Why do you want milk: An old mysterious man told me to seek it, for it's the beverage that will change my life completely once I'll drink it.
Check the rumors around the town about milk.
4
You are Joshua Cortez, the wanderer. You've recently arrived in this settlement, seeking milk. The Old Man told you that you might find something here. Not the end of your journey, but perhaps the first step on the path. The bar seems like a decent place to start looking. Even if there's nothing there, you can at least grab a drink before moving on.
As you walk in, you see a man in red and blue clothing looking to hire adventurers.
Do some sleuthing. Find out about the surrounding area, who’s in charge, when people talk about milk what do they talk about, local rumours, that sort of thing.
6
You look around town, seeking information. Looks like this is a pretty normal settlement for the area. It's a community of a few hundred people, ruled by a local warlord who got lucky enough to survive long enough to pull a few tribes together.
The milk topic is dominated by discussions of Thainos, as it almost always is these days.
Looks like there's three big rumors floating around. One is that a local man is planning some sort of adventure. Something strikes you as familiar about that one. The second is that a Doom Mug's wreckage has been discovered somewhere around here. Supposedly, its milk somehow survived the Snap. Finally, there are rumors that a cult of T'zzz is planning something big very soon.
As you cross an alleyway, a monstrous flapping heralds the arrival of hybrid wings. A byakhee (https://lovecraft.fandom.com/wiki/Byakhee) lands on a metal wall above you, twitching as if controlled by an internal puppeteer.
Name: Burt(Hey, Burt's back!)
Description: A government hating one antlered deer man that somehow survived everything and made it to Earth.
Why do you want milk? Everyone else wants it so he also wants it, and it might be able to kill whats left of the government.
The Government. The Government said that all these disasters were caused by something nobody could have foreseen. A random tragedy. You know the truth. It was all part of the Plan. Nothing like that just happens. You'll make them pay for what they did.
Just as soon as you can get some of this milk everyone keeps talking about. You're not really sure where to get it, though. Some guy at the tavern is talking about a quest, maybe he knows something.
Go to sleep to access the Dreamlands.
1
You attempt to go to sleep. You make your bed, lay down, and just when your head hits the pillow you remember some critical ritual work you had to get done. You quickly get up, make the adjustments, and hurry back to bed. You're a bit hungry though. You just make a quick sandwich, and while you're up, you see something interesting on your YouTube DVDs that you hadn't seen before. You just watch a few videos, but...
Doesn't seem like you're getting to the Dreamlands any time soon at this rate.
Look around and try to find people from the Moloko
3
You scan the crowd, looking for anyone you might recognize. There, that one looks familiar. Sean, Shaun, you know it was something like that. When he's alone for a moment, you swoop down to meet him and land just above his head on a perch of scrap metal, perhaps a bit more menacingly than you had intended.
Luis looked about his hidden ritual chamber, it's still air thick with incense and the smell of books, you know the smell. Not the quiet sanitized odor of a public library, sterilized by the buzzing florescent lights above. No, this was the smell of books as they were meant to be, like dry earth before the rain, free and wild, briming with anticipation for what comes next.
His work in the old world had been extensive, and there were other less than savory tomes and artifacts which opened conduits to power. Yes... Among them he would find the tools he would need... Search through my ritual chambers for non-milk related dark rituals and artifacts.
3
You search all throughout your chambers for non-milk items. Unfortunately, not much of your collection survived the Event, and still more was lost in the time since. The only really useful thing you find is your lucky revolver. It's never packed much of a punch, but you've always found it to be reliable when other tricks failed.
Investigate the Local Cisterns for traces of milk. What was left behind anyway. Find the traces, and maybe I can compile a program to track those traces.
5
You track down a nearby water tank. Water is a precious resource in the wastelands, and typically well guarded. However, you meet with a stroke of luck and find the guard asleep on duty. An alarm bell and a rifle are close at hand, but the fallen bottle at his foot indicates that he won't be using them any time soon. Slipping through the hatch, you wade through the tank in search of a clue.
There, on the wall. Partially concealed by a patch of mold is an old carbon stain. To the trained eye, this is recognizable as a Remnant. Before the Event, there was a milk stain here. In the aftermath, most of these were destroyed or squandered by panicked citizens trying to figure out what happened. Perhaps you can make better use of it.
Name: John
Description: A guy is wearing a red shirt and black shorts with a bathrobe on the outside. Also, wearing slippers
Why do you want milk?: Who eats cereal without milk?
You are John. You were just pouring your cereal when you remembered that the apocalypse means that you don't have any milk to pour on it. For a single, terrible instant, you consider eating the cereal without milk.
No. You're better than that. You throw on your bathrobe, stomp into your slippers, and march outside. You're going to have cereal with milk today, and nothing and nobody is going to stop you.
"Time to get started on this."
Adam had a plan. Not the most well thought out plan, but a plan none the less... or maybe not. Quest might be the best word. Anyway, to start any good quest, there is one thing you must do, go to a tavern and collect a group of Highly Skilled adventurers... or whatever passed these days.
Adventurer Pre-Quest Checklist:
1. Find allies
A. Main Frontline Fighter
B. Support Unit
C. Healer
D. Main Magic fighter
E. Sneaky Unit
F. Nature Expert
2. Get Supplies
3. Talk to all the people for info on quest
4. Checklist still in progress
4
Some plan is better than no plan, exactly 1/3 of you supposes. Another third would prefer some chaos, but the remainder goes with the first option. That would be an odd way of thinking for a normal human, but
Time to get started. You go into the local bar and make it know that you're looking for some adventurers to hire. Time to go on a Quest.
Post by: Yoink on April 17, 2020, 10:08:43 pm
QUIBBLE ABOUT PRICES WHILST SIPPING BEER
ALSO ASK BARKEEP IF KNOW WHERE I MIGHT FIND A LOCAL SUPPLY OF MILK AND/OR GIRAFFES, OR IF HE'S HEARD RUMOURS OF ANY CRAZY
((SEEN UPDATE AND POSTED ACTION BEFORE GM COULD UPDATE TITLE, DO I WIN PRIZE??))
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 17, 2020, 10:19:01 pm
Post by: The Canadian kitten on April 17, 2020, 10:22:02 pm
Post by: darkwarlock3 on April 17, 2020, 10:36:14 pm
"I would like to join your quest"
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on April 17, 2020, 10:46:14 pm
Description: A giant purple man who isn't just a time-traveling Thainos using a fake mustache and a big mariachi hat
Why do you want milk? To not infiltrate and defeat the Milkvengers before they undo my plan. And I will not then proceed use the Infinity Milks to turn the entire universe into milk before drinking everything and becoming a cosmic god.
Post by: Roboson on April 17, 2020, 10:59:03 pm
"An occultist without any occult... Just an ist. Luis looks around in complete dismay and frustration as he mumbles to himself, but then he notices, under the pile of bleeding tomes, a glint of steel. You always were lucky, weren't you? Well, I'm going to need a lot more juice than you to get this done, but at least it's a start.
Luis collects what he can from his ritual chambers, and sits down at his work desk, which is covered in books, not all entirely bloody. He then tries to recover whatever occult knowledge, spells, and leads he can from memory and whatever remaining texts he can salvage.
Post by: Superdorf on April 18, 2020, 01:00:18 am
Ah! A MIGHTY AXE! Clearly, the bearer of this MIGHTY AXE is a noble warrior of excellent taste!
GUNTHAR HORNHELM briefly considers engaging the noble warrior in glorious combat, taking the MIGHTY AXE from him by force. GUNTHAR first opts to engage the noble warrior in amiable discourse, in hopes of learning where another such MIGHTY AXE might be found.
GUNTHAR HORNHELM enters the NEARBY BAR, and seeks out the ODDLY DRESSED STRANGER therein.
In a MAJESTICALLY CRACKED VOICE, Gunthar speaks: "GREETINGS! I am GUNTHAR HORNHELM, HONORABLE WARRIOR of the NORTHERN WASTES! GUNTHAR HORNHELM sees you bear a MIGHTY AXE! GUNTHAR would like to know where he might find A SIMILAR MIGHTY AXE!"
"Failing this, GUNTHAR will CHALLENGE you to GLORIOUS COMBAT for THE AXE YOU NOW BEAR!"
Post by: Imic on April 18, 2020, 04:56:34 am
Hi Shaun, I’m Rana. You met me back at the Moloko when I was only an incorporeal sphereSay a somewhat disturbed hello, and comment positively on Rana’s significant growth. Seek out the familiar individual planning an adventure and express a desire to join him.
Post by: CABL on April 18, 2020, 05:02:40 am
Say the line above.
Agree to his requests, but he'll owe me a favor upon me completing the task(s).
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 18, 2020, 05:04:43 am
join Shaun in the adventuringHi Shaun, I’m Rana. You met me back at the Moloko when I was only an incorporeal sphereSay a somewhat disturbed hello, and comment positively on Rana’s significant growth. Seek out the familiar individual planning an adventure and express a desire to join him.
If Shoun can join you, can I?
Post by: King Zultan on April 18, 2020, 06:33:30 am
So my first order of business is to buy a handgun of some kind.
Post by: ziizo on April 18, 2020, 10:45:24 am
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on April 18, 2020, 12:55:42 pm
Shaun and Rana: "Ah, hello... totally unknown strangers I'm meeting just now for the first time ever. Yes, I would be happy to have you two on my team."
Joshua: "We're going out to find something that will make the whole Thainos thing as if it never happened. And, of course, everyone will get their payment in the end. I believe that even milk might be up for negotiations... if this goes well.
Gunthar: "A mighty... what? Or... oh, hold on, I think I read a book that was something like this. The Ingenious Gentleman... yes, that was it, so how did they... ah, ok.
Adam covered his face with his hand like a mask, before dramatically removing it in an overly theatrical motion.
"Well met GUNTHAR HORNHELM, HONORABLE WARRIOR of the NORTHERN WASTES!" He shouted in an overly theatrical and overly loud manner, in a frankly terrible Danish accent, "I am BRAGI BODDASON, GRAND POET of the SOUTHERN ISLES! My MIGHTY AXE is enchanted so only members of the BODDASON bloodline may wield it, but I beleive I have a similar MIGHTY AXE within my PANTS OF MANY POSKETS."
Adam reached into his cargo pants, saying a little prayer in Old Norse while he did so "Tyr ek kalltilr þú, gefþessir maðr einn boløx." He then proceeded to
"BEHOLD THE AXE OF THE GINNUNGAGAP only to be weilded by the MIGHTIEST WARRIOR!" he had returned to his terrible viking impression, "GUNTHAR HORNHELM prove yourself to be MIGHTIEST WARRIOR and join me on my most honorable quest!"
He then turned to the others.
"Would anyone else like a weapon? I believe I have some more."
P.S. Axe is enchanted against friendly fire. I do not trust this guy not to try to hurt a teammate while delusional.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 18, 2020, 01:06:19 pm
Post by: Imic on April 18, 2020, 01:38:00 pm
Post by: TricMagic on April 18, 2020, 07:43:42 pm
Code: [Select]
#access.network/broken
>link.path/nyan/milk
... path-unavailable
.exe|recode-links: 01001101 01001001 01001100 01001011 00001010 01000001 01100010 01110011 01100101 01101110 01110100 00100000 01001110 01100101 01110100 01110111 01101111 01110010 01101011 00001010 01000100 01100101 01110100 01100101 01100011 01110100 00100000 01000010 01110010 01101111 01101011 01100101 01101110 00100000 01010000 01100001 01110100 01101000 01110011
... program-compiled
.exe|find-remnants<folder-nyan/milk
... program-executed/stored
.exe|run-program-check/find-remnantsQuote from: Actual actions being done
Open up the broken network, access the broken registry, then compile a search and note program, noting broken links that would normally go/read somewhere, and pruning active links connected to the detection of Milk Remnants via the carbon footprint sample exe.wcat/cisternrecorded for perusal and later use.
Log that compiled program into the local network path 'nya/milk' of exe.wcat/cistern, and execute it to detect other such Remenants.
I can then use that to gather together links for a False Network.(Next Action)Fun. Though don't expect the code to make any real sense other than keeping to a theme.
Post by: Glass on April 18, 2020, 08:31:02 pm
Post by: Enemy post on April 19, 2020, 01:53:26 am
"HEY C'MON, THAT MANY CAPS WERE WORTH AT LEAST TWO BEERS!"
QUIBBLE ABOUT PRICES WHILST SIPPING BEER
ALSO ASK BARKEEP IF KNOW WHERE I MIGHT FIND A LOCAL SUPPLY OF MILK AND/OR GIRAFFES, OR IF HE'S HEARD RUMOURS OF ANY CRAZYGOATSSORCERERS GETTING AROUND LATELY
((SEEN UPDATE AND POSTED ACTION BEFORE GM COULD UPDATE TITLE, DO I WIN PRIZE??))
5+1 speed bonus.
The bartender apologizes profusely for mishearing you, and returns your caps. He offers you a bottle on the house and considers your request. Although he hasn't heard of any milk around here, rumor has it that there's a herd of giraffes living deep in a nearby forest of mutant trees. Those could probably be milked. Of course, milk isn't exactly free these days. The story goes that those giraffes to belong to an odd-looking sorcerer, so they say.
Hi Shaun, I’m Rana. You met me back at the Moloko when I was only an incorporeal sphere
join the guy trying to go on a quest, maybe i can get milk
"I would like to join your quest"
(https://i.imgur.com/0Fwwtda.png)
Ah! A MIGHTY AXE! Clearly, the bearer of this MIGHTY AXE is a noble warrior of excellent taste!
GUNTHAR HORNHELM briefly considers engaging the noble warrior in glorious combat, taking the MIGHTY AXE from him by force. GUNTHAR first opts to engage the noble warrior in amiable discourse, in hopes of learning where another such MIGHTY AXE might be found.
GUNTHAR HORNHELM enters the NEARBY BAR, and seeks out the ODDLY DRESSED STRANGER therein.
In a MAJESTICALLY CRACKED VOICE, Gunthar speaks: "GREETINGS! I am GUNTHAR HORNHELM, HONORABLE WARRIOR of the NORTHERN WASTES! GUNTHAR HORNHELM sees you bear a MIGHTY AXE! GUNTHAR would like to know where he might find A SIMILAR MIGHTY AXE!"
"Failing this, GUNTHAR will CHALLENGE you to GLORIOUS COMBAT for THE AXE YOU NOW BEAR!"
Hi Shaun, I’m Rana. You met me back at the Moloko when I was only an incorporeal sphereSay a somewhat disturbed hello, and comment positively on Rana’s significant growth. Seek out the familiar individual planning an adventure and express a desire to join him.
"What do you need adventurers for? I think I might be interested."
Say the line above.
Agree to his requests, but he'll owe me a favor upon me completing the task(s).
join Shaun in the adventuring
If Shoun can join you, can I?
To Joey: "A giant demonic lizard skeleton man. I can work with that, welcome aboard."3
Shaun and Rana: "Ah, hello... totally unknown strangers I'm meeting just now for the first time ever. Yes, I would be happy to have you two on my team."
Joshua: "We're going out to find something that will make the whole Thainos thing as if it never happened. And, of course, everyone will get their payment in the end. I believe that even milk might be up for negotiations... if this goes well.
Gunthar: "A mighty... what? Or... oh, hold on, I think I read a book that was something like this. The Ingenious Gentleman... yes, that was it, so how did they... ah, ok.
Adam covered his face with his hand like a mask, before dramatically removing it in an overly theatrical motion.
"Well met GUNTHAR HORNHELM, HONORABLE WARRIOR of the NORTHERN WASTES!" He shouted in an overly theatrical and overly loud manner, in a frankly terrible Danish accent, "I am BRAGI BODDASON, GRAND POET of the SOUTHERN ISLES! My MIGHTY AXE is enchanted so only members of the BODDASON bloodline may wield it, but I beleive I have a similar MIGHTY AXE within my PANTS OF MANY POSKETS."
Adam reached into his cargo pants, saying a little prayer in Old Norse while he did so "Tyr ek kalltilr þú, gefþessir maðr einn boløx." He then proceeded tocreatepull out a double-bladed battle-axe, with a shaft of black ash wood, with one blade a crimson red, seemingly giving off a glow of heat, and the other an icy blue, dripping with condensation.
"BEHOLD THE AXE OF THE GINNUNGAGAP only to be weilded by the MIGHTIEST WARRIOR!" he had returned to his terrible viking impression, "GUNTHAR HORNHELM prove yourself to be MIGHTIEST WARRIOR and join me on my most honorable quest!"
He then turned to the others.
"Would anyone else like a weapon? I believe I have some more."
P.S. Axe is enchanted against friendly fire. I do not trust this guy not to try to hurt a teammate while delusional.
I already have claws and talons, I think I’m good weapons wise, what say you, Shaun?
I’ll do without. What are the specifics of this adventure, may I ask, unfamiliar “Human”?
"A quest sounds like something fun to do, but in order to quest you must have a weapon, and I lost mine getting to where I am currently, and I don't even know why I came to this planet in the first place because it sucks, I mean look at it everyone's dead or dying, this is probably the governments fault."2
So my first order of business is to buy a handgun of some kind.
Adam's call to heroism does not go unanswered.
The first two to respond are Joey Bones and Joshua Cortez. Joey agrees right away, while Cortez negotiates for Adam to owe him a favor in return. Around that time, Shaun and Rana walk in after some quick catching up. For some reason, they seem to thnk that they've met Adam before, and also offer to come along on his quest. Adam accepts each of their offers and explains a bit about the quest before the bar's door suddenly swings open again. GUNTHAR HORNHELM marches up to Adam and pulls his jug helm back from where it had slipped over his eyes.
"GREETINGS! I am GUNTHAR HORNHELM, HONORABLE WARRIOR of the NORTHERN WASTES! GUNTHAR HORNHELM sees you bear a MIGHTY AXE! GUNTHAR would like to know where he might find A SIMILAR MIGHTY AXE!"
"Failing this, GUNTHAR will CHALLENGE you to GLORIOUS COMBAT for THE AXE YOU NOW BEAR!" says the HONORABLE WARRIOR, in a MAJESTICALLY CRACKED VOICE.
Adam responds with the unsurprised air of someone who once saw the Sun pick a fight with the Earth. He covers his face with his hand like a mask, before dramatically removing it in an overly theatrical motion.
"Well met GUNTHAR HORNHELM, HONORABLE WARRIOR of the NORTHERN WASTES!" He shouted in an overly theatrical and overly loud manner, in a frankly terrible Danish accent, "I am BRAGI BODDASON, GRAND POET of the SOUTHERN ISLES! My MIGHTY AXE is enchanted so only members of the BODDASON bloodline may wield it, but I beleive I have a similar MIGHTY AXE within my PANTS OF MANY POSKETS."
Adam reaches into his cargo pants, saying a little prayer in Old Norse while he did so. "Tyr ek kalltilr þú, gefþessir maðr einn boløx." He then proceeds to
"BEHOLD THE AXE OF THE GINNUNGAGAP only to be weilded by the MIGHTIEST WARRIOR!" he had returned to his terrible viking impression, "GUNTHAR HORNHELM prove yourself to be MIGHTIEST WARRIOR and join me on my most honorable quest!"
He then turns to the others.
"Would anyone else like a weapon? I believe I have some more."
As he says this, Adam realizes that something felt a bit off about the axe as he handed it to HORNHELM.
I already have claws and talons, I think I’m good weapons wise, what say you, Shaun? says Rana.
I’ll do without. What are the specifics of this adventure, may I ask, unfamiliar “Human”? says Shaun.
Meanwhile, Burt seems to ignore Adam's offer of a weapon. "A quest sounds like something fun to do, but in order to quest you must have a weapon, and I lost mine getting to where I am currently, and I don't even know why I came to this planet in the first place because it sucks, I mean look at it everyone's dead or dying, this is probably the governments fault."
The deer man leaves the bar in search of a handgun, but is unable to find any at the moment. Probably some sort of Government gun regulation thing.
At this point, Ssarscel walks in, also looking for adventurers. Several bar patrons approach him, looking aggressive and not particularly bright.
John would kill to get a bowl worth of milk, so he shall find a gun
6
You're the sort of person who knows what you want, and you're going to get it. You go looking for a gun to help you get enough milk for your cereal. Surprisingly enough, you find what seems to be a fully intact AK-47 lying on the street, just outside a curbside storm drain.
Name: Thain-I mean...Juainos.
Description: A giant purple man who isn't just a time-traveling Thainos using a fake mustache and a big mariachi hat
Why do you want milk? To not infiltrate and defeat the Milkvengers before they undo my plan. And I will not then proceed use the Infinity Milks to turn the entire universe into milk before drinking everything and becoming a cosmic god.
You are definitely not the Mad Titan who balanced reality. No, you're just a massive purple man in a mustache and mariachi hat. If you were that person, you'd have known that your enemies could not live with their failure. And where would that bring them?
You approach a local bar in this paradise
Frustrated, Luis kicks a pile of profusely bleeding books, a common defense method used by arcane authors to protect their secrets.(Sorry man. I really hoped you'd get a better roll that time.)
"An occultist without any occult... Just an ist. Luis looks around in complete dismay and frustration as he mumbles to himself, but then he notices, under the pile of bleeding tomes, a glint of steel. You always were lucky, weren't you? Well, I'm going to need a lot more juice than you to get this done, but at least it's a start.
Luis collects what he can from his ritual chambers, and sits down at his work desk, which is covered in books, not all entirely bloody. He then tries to recover whatever occult knowledge, spells, and leads he can from memory and whatever remaining texts he can salvage.
1
You pocket the gun and sort through your blood-spewing tomes. Unfortunately, the only magic you can remember off the top of your head is the patron-invoking spell. It offers power, but always at a terrible price. In your darkest moments, you've occasionally considered casting this one. It doesn't feel like a coincidence that this one comes so easily to mind.
Binge-watch the DVD's until I fall asleep.
6
Your DVDs consist primarily of a collection of some of YouTube's most important videos (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6EoRBvdVPQ&list=PLFsQleAWXsj_4yDeebiIADdH5FMayBiJo&index=2&t=0s). You watch them for a while, finally dozing off as you hear about someone having found 12 bricks.
When you finally regain unconsciousness, you find yourself under a tree in a meadow. This part of the Dreamlands looks off somehow. A rabbit in formal wear rushes by you, clearly late for an appointment of some sort. Perhaps you dreamed the wrong address?
(Took me a bit to understand what you're trying to do. Sounds like you're looking for other Remnants?)Code: [Select]#access.network/broken
>link.path/nyan/milk
... path-unavailable
.exe|recode-links: 01001101 01001001 01001100 01001011 00001010 01000001 01100010 01110011 01100101 01101110 01110100 00100000 01001110 01100101 01110100 01110111 01101111 01110010 01101011 00001010 01000100 01100101 01110100 01100101 01100011 01110100 00100000 01000010 01110010 01101111 01101011 01100101 01101110 00100000 01010000 01100001 01110100 01101000 01110011
... program-compiled
.exe|find-remnants<folder-nyan/milk
... program-executed/stored
.exe|run-program-check/find-remnantsQuote from: Actual actions being doneOpen up the broken network, access the broken registry, then compile a search and note program, noting broken links that would normally go/read somewhere, and pruning active links connected to the detection of Milk Remnants via the carbon footprint sample exe.wcat/cisternrecorded for perusal and later use.
Log that compiled program into the local network path 'nya/milk' of exe.wcat/cistern, and execute it to detect other such Remenants.
I can then use that to gather together links for a False Network.(Next Action)Fun. Though don't expect the code to make any real sense other than keeping to a theme.
2
Unfortunately, you don't detect any other Remnants within scanning range from your current location. All you can sense on the remains of your network is the ghost of a spambot, forever chanting advertisements for sketchy flash games into the void.
Go to the local tavern to put up a job posting, requesting some support for going to do investigations at the Florence Memorial. I don't want any unnecessary surgery. Make sure it contains details on my reasoning for going to make the trip.
6
You go to the bar and announce your plans. You see a good-sized collection of adventurers here, but it looks like they're already getting ready for a quest. Perhaps you could work something out with them, but you quickly find that you have something else to deal with. A trio of thugs approach you. "So what's a chupacabra want at a place like Florence Memorial? Nothin' good, I figure." He turns to his companions as he speaks. "You know, you never saw these things before the world fell apart. Now they're everywhere. You chupacabras worked with Him, didn't you? Come on, admit it!"
Post by: The Canadian kitten on April 19, 2020, 02:04:39 am
Post by: King Zultan on April 19, 2020, 03:18:37 am
Go look for scraps of metal and electronics and use those items to build a laser gun of some kind.
Post by: darkwarlock3 on April 19, 2020, 04:33:20 am
"A few thugs picking on someone else just because they ain't the same as you, you have 3 secounds to get out of here before I turn you into a human sized shikaba"
Post by: ziizo on April 19, 2020, 06:52:18 am
So follow that Rabbit maybe there will be milk at the end.
Post by: Glass on April 19, 2020, 08:43:24 am
If you have any pertinent questionsss, I will gladly ansswer them. If you know of any better locationss in which to find recordss on the ssstructure of milk, I will gladly accept it. But if you have neither, then I musst be on my way."
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 19, 2020, 08:48:12 am
Attempt to stop the fight that seems super likely to happen, if the fight starts anyway, try protecting the chupacabra from injury, as the humans outnumber it
Post by: CABL on April 19, 2020, 09:47:22 am
Tell that to the thugs that harass chupacabra.
If they get hostile, drop a smoke bomb.
If they get hostile, but will attack chupacabra instead of me, grapple one of the thugs and throw him at the other two.
Post by: Superdorf on April 19, 2020, 10:03:07 am
GUNTHAR's eyes light up in pure, demented wonder at the blade presented him.
"You are a sorcerer, BRAGI BODDASON, and your gifts are regal indeed! You have the undying gratitude of GUNTHAR."
"Now BEHOLD, comrades! GUNTHAR HORNHELM begins his GLORIOUS QUEST: for the primordial cow AUÞUMBLA, and the MILK by which she sustained the world!"
GUNTHAR raises his newly acquired MIGHTY AXE high above him. "AXE OF THE GINNUNGAGAP! Serve GUNTHAR now, and CLEAVE unto the tormented void of your birth!"
And with that, GUNTHAR swings his MIGHTY AXE to rend the air, tearing a gate in reality to the GINNUNGAGAP!
Post by: Avetruetotheimperator on April 19, 2020, 11:02:31 am
Does the quest involve Furry deviants?
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on April 19, 2020, 11:40:44 am
Post by: TricMagic on April 19, 2020, 05:11:16 pm
(Need multiple hits if I'm to make anything though. More datapoints mean a higher chance of succeeding at my goal of finding enough of them.)
Post by: Imic on April 19, 2020, 05:16:14 pm
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on April 19, 2020, 07:19:57 pm
Spoiler: Whispering to Shaun (click to show/hide)
"A fight? Oh, count me in."
Adam placed his eye-patch over his blue eye before strumming the E string of his guitar and forcibly launching the three human aggressors directly at
Post by: Yoink on April 19, 2020, 07:31:14 pm
KEEP DRINKING
(ASSUMING IN SAME BAR AS ALL THESE OTHER WEIRDOS)
Post by: Enemy post on April 20, 2020, 01:04:20 am
Joey bones seeing the poor guy in the lab coat getting harassed because he isn't human fills him with rage, Joey then begins walking menacing towards the thugs with his arm out and bones sprouting off of it to form a lance like weapon with his glowing green eyes becoming like green flames from his eye sockets3
"A few thugs picking on someone else just because they ain't the same as you, you have 3 secounds to get out of here before I turn you into a human sized shikaba"
"Sssir, while I've heard rumorss that Chupacabra milk was ussed as part of whatever ritual was used to causse all this, I can ashure you that even if ssome of our kind directly partissipated, the resst of us have no relation to the event. I, for one, and trying to bring milk back.5
If you have any pertinent questionsss, I will gladly ansswer them. If you know of any better locationss in which to find recordss on the ssstructure of milk, I will gladly accept it. But if you have neither, then I musst be on my way."
how about we not fight here?5
Attempt to stop the fight that seems super likely to happen, if the fight starts anyway, try protecting the chupacabra from injury, as the humans outnumber it
"Get away from the chupacabra, or the things are gonna get really ugly real quick."1
Tell that to the thugs that harass chupacabra.
If they get hostile, drop a smoke bomb.
If they get hostile, but will attack chupacabra instead of me, grapple one of the thugs and throw him at the other two.
GUNTHAR's eyes light up in pure, demented wonder at the blade presented him.1
"You are a sorcerer, BRAGI BODDASON, and your gifts are regal indeed! You have the undying gratitude of GUNTHAR."
"Now BEHOLD, comrades! GUNTHAR HORNHELM begins his GLORIOUS QUEST: for the primordial cow AUÞUMBLA, and the MILK by which she sustained the world!"
GUNTHAR raises his newly acquired MIGHTY AXE high above him. "AXE OF THE GINNUNGAGAP! Serve GUNTHAR now, and CLEAVE unto the tormented void of your birth!"
And with that, GUNTHAR swings his MIGHTY AXE to rend the air, tearing a gate in reality to the GINNUNGAGAP!
Confront the adventurer quest giver and ask him this question:(No roll)
Does the quest involve Furry deviants?
Ask to know what this Human’s plan is again, since Ik have facilities which may be of use to any plan conceivable, but they’re useless if I don’t know what the plan is.(No roll)
(Situation changed enough that I didn't roll. Also, why are you trying to hurt poor, innocent Juainos?)Spoiler: Whispering to Shaun (click to show/hide)
"A fight? Oh, count me in."
Adam placed his eye-patch over his blue eye before strumming the E string of his guitar and forcibly launching the three human aggressors directly atThainos's heada location that just so happened to coincidentally be whereThainosJuainos's head was.
TAKE COVER4
KEEP DRINKING
(ASSUMING IN SAME BAR AS ALL THESE OTHER WEIRDOS)
Seeing the chupacabra being harassed, several of the adventurers gather around to defend him.
"A few thugs picking on someone else just because they ain't the same as you, you have 3 secounds to get out of here before I turn you into a human sized shikaba"
"how about we not fight here?"
"Get away from the chupacabra, or the things are gonna get really ugly real quick."
"A fight? Oh, count me in."
Ssarscel also addresses the gang himself.
"Sssir, while I've heard rumorss that Chupacabra milk was ussed as part of whatever ritual was used to causse all this, I can ashure you that even if ssome of our kind directly partissipated, the resst of us have no relation to the event. I, for one, and trying to bring milk back.
If you have any pertinent questionsss, I will gladly ansswer them. If you know of any better locationss in which to find recordss on the ssstructure of milk, I will gladly accept it. But if you have neither, then I musst be on my way."
A quick change comes over the men. The leader groans and facepalms as he looks over the situation. "Oh...ah...you're not Drisscad, are you. I'm so, so sorry. This is incredibly embarrassing. Sorry everyone. You see, we're not actually racists. We're racism reenactors. Our group reenacts portrayals of the bigotry of pre-Alliance society. Kept up the hobby after the Event too, didn't want to let the tradition die out, you know? We were waiting for Drisscad to show up for the reenactment later. See, he was supposed to play a minority doctor, and the rest of us were going to tell him that he only got the job through Affirmative Action and because his people are inherently smarter. It was the lab coat, see? It threw me off. Thought you were him, and he'd have thought that greeting was hilarious. So incredibly sorry for the trouble. We'd really like to make it up to you, if we can. Here, if you want, you can have some of our racist memorabilia! Hope you like it, we've done our best to make it all as historically accurate as possible. The rest of you can pick something too, we really messed up here."
With that, the group produces cases containing such items as a Halloween ghost mask, a 21st century German flag, and a maroon hat stamped with the slogan "Make Hillary Build a Wall Again".
As you look through the items, GUNTHAR HORNHELM speaks. "You are a sorcerer, BRAGI BODDASON, and your gifts are regal indeed! You have the undying gratitude of GUNTHAR."
"Now BEHOLD, comrades! GUNTHAR HORNHELM begins his GLORIOUS QUEST: for the primordial cow AUÞUMBLA, and the MILK by which she sustained the world!"
GUNTHAR raises his newly acquired MIGHTY AXE high above him. "AXE OF THE GINNUNGAGAP! Serve GUNTHAR now, and CLEAVE unto the tormented void of your birth!"
GUNTHAR cuts a MIGHTY RIFT into the fabric of reality with his axe. Perhaps too mighty. He splits open the air, and a yawning portal is cut into the air. A mass of tentacles begins to pour out, as something crawls free of the Eldritch Plane.
Meanwhile, Yoink hunkers down and enjoys his drink while Juainos hears all the above proceedings from behind the door.
Get the gun then go out in the country side to find cows.
3-1 for surprise
You reach for the gun, but when you kneel down to get it, you're nearly pulled into the sewer by a hidden tether on the gun. You let go just in time, but a pale white face snaps at you from the gutter. All around, you can hear the telltale slaps of a horde of rapidly approaching oversized feet. Looks like this was a trap set by a pack of hungry sewer clowns.
"What a shitty town not letting my buy a gun, I'll just make a gun and it'll be better than all the guns they won't sell me!"
Go look for scraps of metal and electronics and use those items to build a laser gun of some kind.
1
You go looking for the materials to build a laser gun. After a while, you've collected enough to realize you can't actually make a laser gun out of it. A member of the town guard approaches as you look through the material and asks what you're doing.
Following the white rabbit is sometimes used as a metaphor for going to a strange world/adventure.
So follow that Rabbit maybe there will be milk at the end.
3
You try to follow the Rabbit, but after only a short way you fall down a hole into a long hall. All around you are doors of various sizes.
Keep the Program active and go around the town. Mark any hits on the search, and let's see about canvasing it all quickly. If I can't find any, at least I now have the Tracker Program and a data sample.
(Need multiple hits if I'm to make anything though. More datapoints mean a higher chance of succeeding at my goal of finding enough of them.)
2
You travel around the town, but it doesn't look like there's any Remnants here besides the one you found. On the way, you pass a deer-headed man trying to assemble a laser gun, and your route ends near a guy who just fell into a trap set by a pack of Homo pagliacci.
OOC:Ignored CABL's 1, since I figured Naturegirl and Glass both getting 5s to accomplish the same thing should override it.
Post by: darkwarlock3 on April 20, 2020, 01:28:55 am
Post by: The Canadian kitten on April 20, 2020, 01:40:27 am
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on April 20, 2020, 02:15:06 am
Jauinos sprung into action to close the rift to the Eldrich Plane with his
"Hola cabrones! I Thain-I mean Juainos couldn't help but notice you muchachos needed help to undo this Paraiso, that's Mexicano for bad for your informatione, mind if I tag along?"
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 20, 2020, 06:32:49 am
sure, the more the merrier, right?
Post by: King Zultan on April 20, 2020, 06:37:23 am
If the guard tires to arrest me kick him in the dick and run away, if he doesn't try to build as much of the gun as I can and try to figure out what I need to finish it.
Post by: TricMagic on April 20, 2020, 07:10:48 am
Possess the guy being attacked, then start replacing brain function with sub-network functions slaved to the Network.
Well, I am a Ghost.
Post by: ziizo on April 20, 2020, 08:43:08 am
Post by: Roboson on April 20, 2020, 10:53:48 am
Post by: CABL on April 20, 2020, 12:23:41 pm
Use my flare gun to set the eldritch tentacle thing on fire.
Post by: Avetruetotheimperator on April 20, 2020, 01:47:16 pm
"Alright, which one of you FUCKING SAPES opened a portal to the weaboo hentai dimension? Some soy-chugging no life looser trying to summon one of those demon thots, or has this been just a usual pea-brained thought!?"
Post by: Enemy post on April 20, 2020, 01:57:25 pm
The middle age man looks up from his deep planning, to hear a...Familiar noise.
"Alright, which one of you FUCKING SAPES opened a portal to the weaboo hentai dimension? Some soy-chugging no life looser trying to summon one of those demon thots, or has this been just a usual pea-brained thought!?"
Oh yeah, sorry I forgot to mention your action last turn.
Post by: Superdorf on April 20, 2020, 04:28:13 pm
Success beyond GUNTHAR HORNHELM's wildest dreams-- but ah! The GINNUNGAGAP is guarded by a fell entity!
The light of joyful madness spreads across GUNTHAR'S heroic visage. Fell entities are no match for the honored warrior!
"What SORCERY is this? A BEAST of the GINNUNGAGAP! A BEAST of the ENDLESS CHASM! TASTE THE AXE OF GUNTHAR!"
And with a heroically feeble warcry, GUNTHAR HORNHELM strikes at his fell enemy with the AXE OF THE GINNUNGAGAP!
Post by: Yoink on April 20, 2020, 05:09:17 pm
>FINISH MY DRINK AND GO WRANGLE SOME LACTATING GIRAFFES IN THE FOREST
Post by: Imic on April 20, 2020, 05:38:00 pm
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 20, 2020, 06:05:19 pm
If there’s nothing happening immediately, I head out to find more details about the doom mug.if you’re at the same bar as the rest of us, there is an Eldritch tentacled creature in the bar because a person decided to be reckless with a magic axe and decided to open a new reality by ripping ours
Post by: Imic on April 20, 2020, 06:36:51 pm
Yes, but I am not a magic user, I foolishly went against getting a weapon, I am very squishy, and I didn’t read the whole post when I made my reply because of rl business and my own laziness.If there’s nothing happening immediately, I head out to find more details about the doom mug.if you’re at the same bar as the rest of us, there is an Eldritch tentacled creature in the bar because a person decided to be reckless with a magic axe and decided to open a new reality by ripping ours
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on April 20, 2020, 08:14:02 pm
"This is a tuesday for me."
Post by: Glass on April 20, 2020, 08:58:48 pm
Take cover, but watch, to see if I can figure out what the hell that thing is.
Post by: Enemy post on April 20, 2020, 11:28:51 pm
(Init:Slash, Adam, Gunthar, monster, Joey Bones, Rana, Joshua, Juainos.)
charge the eldrich horror and begin to rip and tear it a new one1-1
4-1((Oi, what about me post mate?))Nevermind
Jauinos sprung into action to close the rift to the Eldrich Plane with hisTitanMexican strenght
"Hola cabrones! I Thain-I mean Juainos couldn't help but notice you muchachos needed help to undo this Paraiso, that's Mexicano for bad for your informatione, mind if I tag along?"
Eat the Eldritch creature that escaped the portal3-1
sure, the more the merrier, right?
"Well, shit..."5-1
Use my flare gun to set the eldritch tentacle thing on fire.
The middle age man looks up from his deep planning, to hear a...Familiar noise.(No roll.)
"Alright, which one of you FUCKING SAPES opened a portal to the weaboo hentai dimension? Some soy-chugging no life looser trying to summon one of those demon thots, or has this been just a usual pea-brained thought!?"
(https://piskel-imgstore-b.appspot.com/img/8836283a-834a-11ea-b5c8-41f1d731fa30.gif)4
Success beyond GUNTHAR HORNHELM's wildest dreams-- but ah! The GINNUNGAGAP is guarded by a fell entity!
The light of fell madness spreads across GUNTHAR'S heroic visage. Fell entities are no match for the honored warrior!
"What SORCERY is this? A BEAST of the GINNUNGAGAP! A BEAST of the ENDLESS CHASM! TASTE THE AXE OF GUNTHAR!"
And with a heroically feeble warcry, GUNTHAR HORNHELM strikes at his fell enemy with the AXE OF THE GINNUNGAGAP!
Close the portal.6
"This is a tuesday for me."
[wide-eyed] "Oh, fuck."6
Take cover, but watch, to see if I can figure out what the hell that thing is.
(Monsters:Attack Slash)
1+1 vs 5
Slash Ashford shouts over the din of battle as the tentacles squirm into the bar. "Alright, which one of you FUCKING SAPES opened a portal to the weaboo hentai dimension? Some soy-chugging no life looser trying to summon one of those demon thots, or has this been just a usual pea-brained thought!?" Ssarscel curses and takes cover behind the bar. It keeps him safe, but he finds himself in a poor position to watch the fight. At the same time, Shaun and Yoink quickly leave the bar.
Adam begins the actual defense, confidently declaring that "This is a tuesday for me." and waving the portal closed. However, his casual effort tears the weakened dimensional barriers around the portal. Three even worse portals are opened in place of the old one. Freakish creatures begin to crawl through into the material plane. With a mighty "yee", GUNTHAR spins into action and bisects a cancerous mass of teeth. A fishlike worm slithers across the floor to Slash, who smashes it in the face with a bottle. Joey Bones charges a horror with his blackened claws extended, but a forever melting horse hurls him back and through a wall. The horse floats out after him, dripping viscera as it vomits a cloud of stinging flies. Rana claws at a mass of tendrils shaped roughly like a parody of a gorilla. It would have been enough to hurt the original monster, but this one simply endures her clawing with a child's laughter. Joshua then steps in with a flare gun. Fire proves to be a good choice against the abominations. Several monsters are burned to a crisp, their backwards screams echoing on the wind. Finally, Juainos kicks in the front door with a massive huarache.
"Hola cabrones! I Thain-I mean Juainos couldn't help but notice you muchachos needed help to undo this Paraiso, that's Mexicano for bad for your informatione, mind if I tag along?"
"sure, the more the merrier, right?", replies Rana.
Juainos works his way through the bar and approaches one of the portals. With the strength of a
No one will get in John's way of getting milk and live to tell the tale, not even clowns. Do some kind of ancient Asian fighting stance and beat up those damn sewer clowns.1
Not really my problem, though I do need a ride out of here.(The rules mention that mind control is one of the two things that aren't allowed, but hollowing him out and possessing the corpse is technically different.)
Possess the guy being attacked, then start replacing brain function with sub-network functions slaved to the Network.
Well, I am a Ghost.
5 vs 6-1
John strikes a heroic and Bruce Lee-esque pose before the charging pack of sewer clowns. He centers himself, leans back, and manages to throw one punch before a clown pounces at his legs and knocks him to the crowd. The rest of the pack rushes in. It's all John can do to hold the snapping clown jaws away from his throat. And then, things start to get worse. Nyan Cat rings in his ears as Cistern attempts to upload herself to his brain in the middle of the attack. Although distracted, John is able to muster enough willpower to hold off Cistern's attempt to usurp his nervous system for the moment.
"Whats it to you, I'm just sitting here minding my own businesses tying to make something out of these bits of scrap."
If the guard tires to arrest me kick him in the dick and run away, if he doesn't try to build as much of the gun as I can and try to figure out what I need to finish it.
4, 4
The guard looks you over for a moment, and then shrugs and walks away. You get back to work. Looks like you're lacking the proper focusing crystals or explosive material to make a proper laser or even ballistic gun, but you do have enough here to make a crossbow. You rig one up. As you finish linking the final pieces in place, you hear screams from the bar, and the giggling howls of a pack of sewer clowns.
Knock the doors
6
You decide to knock on a door. You pick out a promising-looking door and wait a moment for a reply. The door swings open into a brightly lit bedroom. The being that opens the door stands as in uffish thought. The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, comes whiffling through the tulgey door, and burbles as it comes!
Check the lacnomicron for anything I can use.
5
Ah, this may be useful. You find a ritual that gives you a clue to the nearest true milk when cast. You also discover that while you can't summon milk on its own, you can use relics to summon the ghosts of associated milks. A broken glass that was once used to hold milk could be used to summon the ghost of the original glass, for instance. It wouldn't be the same as real milk on its own, but it would have some of the original's nature. Perhaps much greater effects could be achieved with the proper relics.
"SCREW THIS, I'M GONNA FINISH MY DRINK AND GO WRANGLE SOME LACTATING GIRAFFES IN THE FOREST"
>FINISH MY DRINK AND GO WRANGLE SOME LACTATING GIRAFFES IN THE FOREST
3
You quickly down your drink and leave the rapidly deteriorating situation in the bar behind. Heading to the forest you heard about, you go looking for giraffes. You search for a while, but it doesn't look like there actually are any giraffes. You almost give up the search, but then you finally come across a herd of okapis (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Okapi). Perhaps these are what the rumor was referring to. You try creeping up to them, but the okapis all snap to attention as you approach. Looks like the herd is wary of your presence.
If there’s nothing happening immediately, I head out to find more details about the doom mug.
6
You quickly leave the bar and escape the opening of even more deadly portals. However, as you go looking for someone who might know more about the Doom Mug wreckage, you stumble right into the middle of a pack of sewer clowns attacking a man. Strangely, the struggling man is accompanied by a catgirl who's currently placing her hands on his head. She makes no move to stop the clowns, and the clowns are ignoring her. Perhaps she's blocking her scent somehow, preventing the clowns from noticing her.
Post by: Glass on April 20, 2020, 11:33:01 pm
Continue keeping cover. If any monsters come toward me, beat them back with whatever is on hand.
Post by: darkwarlock3 on April 20, 2020, 11:42:47 pm
Post by: The Canadian kitten on April 20, 2020, 11:51:08 pm
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on April 21, 2020, 12:48:18 am
Post by: Enemy post on April 21, 2020, 12:49:20 am
Post by: Avetruetotheimperator on April 21, 2020, 12:59:13 am
Post by: Imic on April 21, 2020, 03:30:40 am
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 21, 2020, 06:42:32 am
Post by: King Zultan on April 21, 2020, 06:49:29 am
Walk out of the town into the wasteland and look for a car that might still be able to be driven.
Post by: ziizo on April 21, 2020, 08:16:44 am
Post by: Roboson on April 21, 2020, 09:01:05 am
Luis will tidy up his abode a bit, and then head out into town to search for containers that once contained milk, collecting any prospective ghost milk vessels.
Post by: TricMagic on April 21, 2020, 09:24:24 am
Remove those hands from my head and start destroying the clowns.
Continue the guy's Conversion to a Digital Format like me. It will all be fine once everyone is powered by the Milk Network.
Well, guess I can also mess with the physical limiters on the body a bit while I'm at it.
I'm converting the guy into digital, so even if the body dies he won't. Rather he'll be more a digital being possessing a physical body he doesn't need anymore.
Hope he feels like going on a road trip for finding enough Remnants.
Post by: CABL on April 21, 2020, 10:18:40 am
If any eldritch horrors reach me, take out a knife and cut their tentacles off.
Post by: Superdorf on April 21, 2020, 10:26:24 am
Warbling his joyous battlecry, GUNTHAR HORNHELM assails his fell enemy once again with the AXE OF THE GINNUNGAGAP!
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on April 21, 2020, 12:36:06 pm
”I said close!”
”I said close!”
Three different voices roared at once, and the bar and the area around it was filled with a scorching unearthly light. When it cleared, the portals were gone, and nothing was left of the creatures from them but ash stains on the ground. No one knew what happened, but a keen observer would notice discolorations on the wall behind Adam in the shape of four wings, a pair of horns, and a halo.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 21, 2020, 12:42:48 pm
”I said close!”you can try to close the portals, your actions cannot tell what the results were, your action can still fail
”I said close!”
”I said close!”
Three different voices roared at once, and the bar and the area around it was filled with a scorching unearthly light. When it cleared, the portals were gone, and nothing was left of the creatures from them but ash stains on the ground. No one knew what happened, but a keen observer would notice discolorations on the wall behind Adam in the shape of four wings, a pair of horns, and a halo.
Post by: Enemy post on April 21, 2020, 12:46:07 pm
(https://piskel-imgstore-b.appspot.com/img/8836283a-834a-11ea-b5c8-41f1d731fa30.gif)
Warbling his joyous battlecry, GUNTHAR HORNHELM assails his fell enemy once again with the AXE OF THE GINNUNGAGAP!
Hey, I noticed the new picture! Is that the tentacles behind him?
”I said close!”you can try to close the portals, your actions cannot tell what the results were, your action can still fail
”I said close!”
”I said close!”
Three different voices roared at once, and the bar and the area around it was filled with a scorching unearthly light. When it cleared, the portals were gone, and nothing was left of the creatures from them but ash stains on the ground. No one knew what happened, but a keen observer would notice discolorations on the wall behind Adam in the shape of four wings, a pair of horns, and a halo.
He knows, that's just what he hopes will happen. If he rolls badly, I'll come up with how it goes wrong.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 21, 2020, 12:53:40 pm
Post by: Superdorf on April 21, 2020, 12:56:44 pm
Hey, I noticed the new picture! Is that the tentacles behind him?
That's the idea! Just a pixel scrawl, but hopefully gets the idea across.
Post by: Yoink on April 21, 2020, 02:12:41 pm
Post by: Enemy post on April 23, 2020, 12:44:35 am
(Init:Adam, Joey, Slash, Monsters, Joshua, Juainos, GUNTHAR, Ssarscel, Rana.)
"SSSTAY AWAY! SSSSSSTAY AWAY!"4+1 for earlier actions.
Continue keeping cover. If any monsters come toward me, beat them back with whatever is on hand.
get back up in a rage and viciously assault the thing that throw me out4-2
Juainos attempts to yeet the Eldrich Horrors back to their totalmente equilibrada dimension.2
Fucking slaughter these hentai creatures using my superior Neanderthal strength!1
Take bites out of the tentacle gorrilla4
Okay, they're vulnerable to fire! Throw Molotov cocktails at the eldritch horrors.1+1
If any eldritch horrors reach me, take out a knife and cut their tentacles off.
”I said close!”6
”I said close!”
”I said close!”
Three different voices roared at once, and the bar and the area around it was filled with a scorching unearthly light. When it cleared, the portals were gone, and nothing was left of the creatures from them but ash stains on the ground. No one knew what happened, but a keen observer would notice discolorations on the wall behind Adam in the shape of four wings, a pair of horns, and a halo.
(https://piskel-imgstore-b.appspot.com/img/8836283a-834a-11ea-b5c8-41f1d731fa30.gif)3+1
Warbling his joyous battlecry, GUNTHAR HORNHELM assails his fell enemy once again with the AXE OF THE GINNUNGAGAP!
(Monsters:Attack Slash)
(Sorry, I rolled randomly for the target. You just happened to get picked twice.)
6 vs 3-1
”I said close!”
”I said close!”
”I said close!”
Adam roars in three different voices and fills the bar with an unearthly light. The effects are wild and not entirely under his control. When sight returns, one can almost see an afterimage of wings, horns, and a halo on Adam. One of the portals is indeed closed. However, the other one is even bigger and twists wildly in the air, going through some sort of transformation.
Outside the bar, Joey tries to rise up and attack the melting horse, but it kicks him back to the ground with a contemptuous hoof. It walks up next to him casually, seemingly preparing to finish him off somehow.
Meanwhile, a rolling tide of monsters pushes Juanios, Joshua, and Slash up a rickety staircase and into a corner. Their situation looks briefly hopeless, until a warbled battlecry and the beat of leathery wings signals a turn in the tide. GUNTHAR briefly rides on the back of Rana's byakhee host. The monster rears up in the sunlight, as GUNTHAR waves his MIGHTY AXE in the air. The two of them use the AXE OF THE GINNUNGAGAP and the claws of the monstrous form, backed by brief 70 kph flights to hack monsters apart all around the room.
It's at this point that the damaged portal shudders and inverts. Furniture and surviving monsters go flying as everything is rapidly pulled toward the portal. The party holds on to whatever can keep them out of the portal for now. The bar protecting Ssarscel starts to fall apart, but the racism reenactors jump behind the bar to help hold him back as a means of making up for their actions earlier.
Remove those hands from my head and start destroying the clowns.(Wow, sorry about the poor rolls you've been getting.)
1 vs 2, 2
Grab some rocks and start throwing them at the clowns, the bigger the better. Then run.5
Continue the guy's Conversion to a Digital Format like me. It will all be fine once everyone is powered by the Milk Network.6
Well, guess I can also mess with the physical limiters on the body a bit while I'm at it.
I'm converting the guy into digital, so even if the body dies he won't. Rather he'll be more a digital being possessing a physical body he doesn't need anymore.
Hope he feels like going on a road trip for finding enough Remnants.
The clowns nearly devour John's flesh, but John gets a lucky break when Shaun shows up and throws a bunch of rocks at the sewer clowns. The clowns are driven back for now, honking in rage as they are unable to scent where the attack is coming from.
John has less success fighting off Cipher. She attacks his nervous system and converts it to a digital format. As John recovers, Cipher realizes she may have overdone it. John retains full free will, and may have a stronger connection to the network than even she does.
"Well a crossbow will work for now but its not what I was hoping for, and by the sound of it the quest at the bar is no longer available sense it sounds like their all dying, guess I'll go do my own thing for now."
Walk out of the town into the wasteland and look for a car that might still be able to be driven.
6
You leave the town behind you and head into the wastes in search of a working vehicle. You eventually come across a rusty car sitting in the sun. As you take the driver's seat and prepare to hotwire it, there's a tapping on the window. A chupacabra wastelander wielding a shotgun asks what exactly you're doing in his car.
Dodge the Jabberwock, Run into the now empty room and close the door behind me
1
You try to dodge the Jabberwock by rolling forward under its legs, but the creature simply reaches down and picks you up by the collar. It looks at you quizzically as you squirm.
Yes, this shall be the cornerstone of my ascent... Luis has meddled with necromancy and alchemy in the past, and the prospect of combining the two brought him a minor thrill. Echos of once was, drawn forth from the hithertime past into the now? Exhilarating.
Luis will tidy up his abode a bit, and then head out into town to search for containers that once contained milk, collecting any prospective ghost milk vessels.
2, 2
You consider cleaning up your abode, but don't get around to it. Instead, you head out and look for some milk containers. You don't find any this time, but you figure there could be some. It's a messy town, after all.
STARE AT THESE WEIRD-ASS THINGS FOR MOMENT, THEN GO FETCH NEAREST FLAMETHROWER(Not really sure why you wanted a flamethrower, but alright.)
1
You and the okapis lock eyes for a long moment. Without words, you both understand what must happen. The die is cast. You turn and leave to find a flamethrower. After a few paces, you realize that there are okapis on the path ahead. Not wanting to deal with them unarmed, you head off to the side. After a shorter walk, the okapis block your path again. You turn, but after only a few paces you run into another group of okapis. You look back in the original direction, only to see the first group walking toward you. The okapis are assembled all around you, watching you in silence.
Post by: darkwarlock3 on April 23, 2020, 01:28:56 am
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on April 23, 2020, 01:35:56 am
Make it close. And spit our stuff back out.
Post by: The Canadian kitten on April 23, 2020, 02:04:51 am
Post by: King Zultan on April 23, 2020, 02:52:56 am
Get out of the car and make sure he doesn't try to shoot me in the back as I leave, if he becomes hostile while I'm still in the car hit him with the door and try to get the gun from him, if he tries to shoot me as I leave dive for the closest cover I can.
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on April 23, 2020, 02:56:14 am
Post by: Imic on April 23, 2020, 05:34:48 am
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 23, 2020, 05:37:17 am
Try heading through with Gunthar before they plug it
they might want milk too, maybe we can convince some of them to join our little group?
Post by: TricMagic on April 23, 2020, 06:30:20 am
Thank the throwing rock guy and try to invade that damn girl's mind
"Hmmph. I can hear you know, and don't we have these jokers to deal with?"
Invasion of the mind is rather pointless when we are both on the same Network. These things aren't proper, so tear through each of their nervous systems.
Post by: Glass on April 23, 2020, 07:57:54 am
Post by: Roboson on April 23, 2020, 08:31:55 am
Post by: CABL on April 23, 2020, 08:38:31 am
Post by: Superdorf on April 23, 2020, 09:03:47 am
Gunthar, if I got your name right, how would you like to explore a new world?
(https://piskel-imgstore-b.appspot.com/img/8836283a-834a-11ea-b5c8-41f1d731fa30.gif)
GUNTHAR HORNHELM grins wide at the words of his would-be compatriot.
"You speak well unto the ears of GUNTHAR! Onward then, NOBLE WYRM, and let us sound our war-cries in the depths of GINNUNGAGAP!"
And GUNTHAR advances into the P̵R̴I̶M̵O̵R̸D̴I̵A̸L̷ ̷V̷O̵I̷D̵, cleaving a̷u̵g̷h̷t̶ that would strike against him!
Post by: ziizo on April 23, 2020, 10:55:19 am
Post by: Enemy post on April 25, 2020, 01:38:28 am
bite into its leg and rip it off4-2
”Fucking CLOSE!”4
Make it close. And spit our stuff back out.
Juainos throws his hat into the portal in an attempt to plug it6
Run to the TARDIS, head in, move it to the bar, and expand its size until it’s bigger than the hole so it can plug the hole enough to allow for more permanent closure without eldritch interruptions.1
Evacuate the bar. Anything I might have wanted that was in here can be handled outside, afterwards.5
Gunthar, if I got your name right, how would you like to explore a new world?
Try heading through with Gunthar before they plug it
they might want milk too, maybe we can convince some of them to join our little group?
Let the portal suck us (or at least me) in. Who knows, maybe there's milk amidst the dangerous weirdness of another dimension.
(https://piskel-imgstore-b.appspot.com/img/8836283a-834a-11ea-b5c8-41f1d731fa30.gif)4 (One roll for CABL, Naturegirl, and Superdorf, since the portal was trying to pull you in anyway. Roll is just to determine where you landed.)
GUNTHAR HORNHELM grins wide at the words of his would-be compatriot.
"You speak well unto the ears of GUNTHAR! Onward then, NOBLE WYRM, and let us sound our war-cries in the depths of GINNUNGAGAP!"
And GUNTHAR advances into the P̵R̴I̶M̵O̵R̸D̴I̵A̸L̷ ̷V̷O̵I̷D̵, cleaving a̷u̵g̷h̷t̶ that would strike against him!
As the portal rapidly expands, Juanios hurls his amazing mariachi hat into the breach in reality. The hat spins through the air, gloriously reflects the light for a moment, and then vanishes into the darkness. To no effect.
Around him, Ssarscel leads a rapid evacuation of the bar and saves the bartender and the reenactors from what is about to happen, and Joey tries to rise against his attacker one more time. Unfortunately, it's too late. The rotting horse dodges his weakened bite, and then considers the fallen skeleton. It leans down, inscribes this symbol (https://i.imgur.com/LIDElsB.png) on his forehead, and then melts into a net of flesh and floats away on the wind, cackling as it goes.
Meanwhile, Joshua, Rana, and GUNTHAR make a quick decision.
Gunthar, if I got your name right, how would you like to explore a new world?
GUNTHAR HORNHELM grins wide at the words of his would-be compatriot.
"You speak well unto the ears of GUNTHAR! Onward then, NOBLE WYRM, and let us sound our war-cries in the depths of GINNUNGAGAP!"
Joshua joins them as well, and the three let go of the various improvised anchors they were using and launch into the Eldritch Plane. The three find themselves on a tower of purplish stone floating in an endless yellow void. Tentacled monsters float lazily by like mockeries of clouds, and distant islands hang at various points above, below, and on the horizon.
In the material plane, Adam has reached the end of his patience. ”Fucking CLOSE!”, he screams, and then deploys the magical power he has for some unknown reason against the gate. Finally, it whirls shut. Many of the inanimate objects that were taken are redeposited in the bar. Notably, Juainos' mariachi hat is spat back out and lands intact at his feet.
There is a brief moment of calm as the group recovers and collects any fallen hats they may have. However, the telltale sound of a TARDIS materializing suddenly fills the air. However, it sounds wrong somehow, and the group quickly gets out of the way. Shaun's TARDIS appears where the portal used to be, but much larger than normal. So much larger, in fact, that the bar is instantly turned into a loose wrapper of debris around the giant phone box. Good thing it was evacuated first.
Thank the throwing rock guy and try to invade that damn girl's mind4+1
"Hmmph. I can hear you know, and don't we have these jokers to deal with?"6
Invasion of the mind is rather pointless when we are both on the same Network. These things aren't proper, so tear through each of their nervous systems.
Shaun turns and runs on urgent business as John shouts a thank you. He then turns his attention to Cipher, who has just finished turning him into a digital being. For her part, Cipher doesn't take his retaliation seriously. They're both on the Network, after all. John hacks into Cipher's systems as she overwhelms the underdeveloped minds of the nearby sewer clowns. At first, John doesn't find much inside beyond a bunch of broken code, ancient Japanese memes, and above all, the endless refrains of Nyan Cat. As he tries to find somewhere to attack Cipher gets a firm grip on the nervous systems of the clowns. She's considering burning out their improper systems, when she realizes that John has just taken control of her primary avatar.
John's consciousness is currently split between his own body and Cipher's avatar, while Cipher is currently inhabiting the pack of sewer clowns.
"I was looking for a car and this one seemed abandoned, I guess it isn't so I'll be leaving."
Get out of the car and make sure he doesn't try to shoot me in the back as I leave, if he becomes hostile while I'm still in the car hit him with the door and try to get the gun from him, if he tries to shoot me as I leave dive for the closest cover I can.
6, 3
You explain yourself to the chupacabra, and try to step out of the car. You move a bit too quickly though, and the chupacabra interprets your move as an attack. He immediately fires one of the two barrels of his shotgun, while you defend yourself by knocking his aim off with the car door. You leap out and struggle for the gun, but neither of you has a clear advantage at the moment.
Keep looking around for potential milk containers and other interesting things.
4
You explore the town, making sure to avoid the man running to his TARDIS, the fight between a catgirl, a man, and a pack of sewer clowns, and whatever chaos is currently destroying the local bar. It's then that you spot it, in the junkheap a short walk from town. You rush over, hoping it wasn't just a trick of the light.
No, it's real. Sitting atop a pile of old pizza boxes is an empty and fairly dirty, but otherwise intact plastic milk jug.
Boop it's snoot for critical damage?
5
Only one choice left. You boop the snoot. The Jabberwock screams in surprise and drops you as it falls to its knees. Rising up, you repeatedly boop the snoot until the Jabberwock begs you to stop, offering to serve you in exchange for mercy.
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on April 25, 2020, 01:53:19 am
Juainos extends his hand and wills his hat to return to him. Then he proceeds to report the TARDIS to the British police with his Juanosphone (Which is to a phone he just painted purple), not because he wants to ruin their plans but just because the owner needs a loicense to fly one of those.
Post by: The Canadian kitten on April 25, 2020, 03:54:38 am
Post by: King Zultan on April 25, 2020, 05:54:12 am
Slam my knee into his nuts and take the shotgun from him and point it at him so he won't try to attack me more.
Post by: TricMagic on April 25, 2020, 06:30:48 am
Burn out these beings underdeveloped minds and then shackle/arrange the leftover digital neurons into a network processor.
Go off to see what is going on nearby afterward, since the one I converted is trying to overreach mentally when they were only mortal before.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 25, 2020, 07:05:13 am
Try to use the Eldritch language to ask the tentacled creatures to help with obtaining milk, explaining that it has vast power and can be used for anything
If the language my host knows doesn’t seem to work, pick up Joshua and fly him to the top of the tower, then take flight in search of a fellow Byakhee to talk with
Post by: Glass on April 25, 2020, 09:36:01 am
“What the fuck jussssst happened?”
Post by: Imic on April 25, 2020, 12:10:20 pm
... That wasn’t supposed to happen.
Turns around an looks at everyone
Uh, don’t mind me. Pretend I wasn’t here.
Heads back inside
Undo the size thing and move the TARDIS a little further away from the bar. Lock the door and head out to search for more information on the doom mug.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 25, 2020, 12:20:05 pm
Opens the door and looks up at the rest of the damaged Irish phone booth currently sitting where the bar used to beso if you;re locking the door from inside the TARDIS, then going out, does this mean you will time travel first?
... That wasn’t supposed to happen.
Turns around an looks at everyone
Uh, don’t mind me. Pretend I wasn’t here.
Heads back inside
Undo the size thing and move the TARDIS a little further away from the bar. Lock the door and head out to search for more information on the doom mug.
Post by: ziizo on April 25, 2020, 12:40:27 pm
After leave it alone and free.
Post by: Imic on April 25, 2020, 01:01:11 pm
Schnipp
I’m suggesting I lock the door and head out at the same time, though the order I posited them in probably made that a little ambiguous.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 25, 2020, 01:02:53 pm
so going outside then locking the door, got it. Yes the order made it sound like you were going to lock,the door before head9ng outside which wouldn’t workSchnipp
I’m suggesting I lock the door and head out at the same time, though the order I posited them in probably made that a little ambiguous.
Post by: Superdorf on April 25, 2020, 01:51:25 pm
GUNTHAR HORNHELM looks about him in heroic suspicion. Where is the burning heat-- the torrential ice-- the tormented chasm of GINNUNGAGAP? What means this twisted tower, these shattered islands, these ruinous leviathans that drift upon the endless smog?
Something, considers GUNTHAR, is amiss.
Perhaps the tower will have answers!
"Valorous compatriots! Let us inspect now with all courage this ELDRITCH TOWER, and the wonders and horrors that may be CONTAINED THEREIN!"
Having spoken as a bold warrior must, GUNTHAR HORNHELM looks about for a passage down into the tower proper: failing this, GUNTHAR attempts to climb down the tower wall, using his MIGHTY AXE to gain purchase on its rocky surface!
Post by: darkwarlock3 on April 25, 2020, 02:37:38 pm
Post by: Roboson on April 25, 2020, 03:38:24 pm
Post by: CABL on April 26, 2020, 12:28:13 am
If the language my host knows doesn’t seem to work, pick up Joshua and place him on my back with Gunthar, then take flight in search of a fellow Byakhee to talk with
Joshua would prefer if Rana could deliver him to the top of the eldritch tower.
If I get there, begin thoroughly searching the tower's lower levels.
If not, just stick with Rana for now.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 26, 2020, 08:26:13 am
Fly Joshua to the top of the tower before searching for the ByakheeIf the language my host knows doesn’t seem to work, pick up Joshua and place him on my back with Gunthar, then take flight in search of a fellow Byakhee to talk with
Joshua would prefer if Rana could deliver him to the top of the eldritch tower.
If I get there, begin thoroughly searching the tower's lower levels.
If not, just stick with Rana for now.
(Will edit original action to reflect this)
(Original action edited)
Post by: Enemy post on April 26, 2020, 01:53:35 pm
Now invade the sewer clowns minds.5+1
Cutting Personal Avatar Generation, Reboot Personal Avatar.2, 2, 3
Burn out these beings underdeveloped minds and then shackle/arrange the leftover digital neurons into a network processor.
Go off to see what is going on nearby afterward, since the one I converted is trying to overreach mentally when they were only mortal before.
Cipher struggles to reboot her avatar or burn the sewer clowns into a processor, as John takes to the network like a fish to water. John's mind invades and usurps Cipher's control of the sewer clowns. All the bodies stand at attention, awaiting John's orders. For the moment, Cipher's mind is trapped within John's network. She remains aware however, enough to notice a bit of shrapnel from the bar falling from the sky.
"What the hell is your problem, I was just getting out of the damn car!"
Slam my knee into his nuts and take the shotgun from him and point it at him so he won't try to attack me more.
2
You yell at the chupacabra, but he ignores you. You go for a groin kick, but he dodges to the side and then snaps at your throat. You're forced to release your grip on the shotgun and step back to avoid his jaws. The chupacabra recovers for an instant, and then notices your crossbow. In a frozen moment, you see him begin to level the shotgun at you.
Ssarscel just stands, slack jawed, looking at the remains of the tavern for a moment. Then he turns to the madmen who seemed to be the primary actors in the situation, and asks:
“What the fuck jussssst happened?”
Opens the door and looks up at the rest of the damaged Irish phone booth currently sitting where the bar used to be2, 4
... That wasn’t supposed to happen.
Turns around an looks at everyone
Uh, don’t mind me. Pretend I wasn’t here.
Heads back inside
Undo the size thing and move the TARDIS a little further away from the bar. Lock the door and head out to search for more information on the doom mug.
not being strong enough, start working out and have it work some how even being nothing but bones3
"It's mui bueno my hat can return to me like the hammer of a dios of origin which I presume is nordic."1
Juainos extends his hand and wills his hat to return to him. Then he proceeds to report the TARDIS to the British police with his Juanosphone (Which is to a phone he just painted purple), not because he wants to ruin their plans but just because the owner needs a loicense to fly one of those.
Myriad little pieces of the bar fall from above as Juainos, Ssarscel, Slash Ashford, Joey, Adam, and the others who were in the bar stare at the giant TARDIS that just appeared before them.
“What the fuck jussssst happened?” yells Ssarscel. As if in response, the giant door of the TARDIS peeks open, and Shaun looks out at the damage.
"... That wasn’t supposed to happen.", says Shaun.
He then turns around and looks at everyone.
"Uh, don’t mind me. Pretend I wasn’t here."
Shaun then disappears back into his TARDIS and tries to remove it from the wreckage. A whirring noise repeatedly sounds, but the TARDIS doesn't move. Looks like there's some damage delaying the departure. As he works on that, Juainos says that "It's mui bueno my hat can return to me like the hammer of a dios of origin which I presume is nordic."
Juainos extends his hand and wills his hat to return to him, before pulling out his Juanosphone and attempting to call the British police. Unfortunately for him, Scotland Yard can't come to the phone right now, because somebody murdered them in the name of balance.
Simultaneously, Joey Bones involuntarily rubs at the glyph engraved on his forehead and reflects on the fight. He decides he just isn't strong enough yet, and decides to work out a bit. Joey does some pushups and, despite having an entirely skeletal body, somehow manages to become a bit stronger. If he really wants strong bones though, he'll need milk. (50% chance to get a +1 on strength-based actions.)
Shaun finds that the TARDIS requires a moment to warm up again, so he steps out to look for information on the downed Doom Mug. Conveniently, he comes across a street orphan selling maps of the region for pennies. One of the maps purports to show the location of the infamous weapon, crashed into the side of Mount Washington (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_Washington_(New_Hampshire)) in the mutated White Mountain Forest (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Mountain_National_Forest), where okapis and even greater dangers dwell.
Ask the Jabberbockey if it knows where I can find milk or any place or artifact which reaching/obtaining would be considered an adventure.
After leave it alone and free.
4
The Jabberwock thanks you for your mercy, and tells you about a secret treasure kept by a concealed sister of the Red Queen and the Queen of Hearts. In the mortal world, they say, there is a great forest. Many centuries ago, it was downriver of the
The Jabberwock steps back into his room, glancing nervously down both ends of the hall and over his shoulder. After a moment, he whispers in the quietest voice he can manage.
"They call her...the Dairy Queen."
With that, he slams the door and locks it firmly.
(https://piskel-imgstore-b.appspot.com/img/e23c4835-8721-11ea-a689-9d5734ddef56.gif)2, 2+1
GUNTHAR HORNHELM looks about him in heroic suspicion. Where is the burning heat-- the torrential ice-- the tormented chasm of GINNUNGAGAP? What means this twisted tower, these shattered islands, these ruinous leviathans that drift upon the endless smog?
Something, considers GUNTHAR, is amiss.
Perhaps the tower will have answers!
"Valorous compatriots! Let us inspect now with all courage this ELDRITCH TOWER, and the wonders and horrors that may be CONTAINED THEREIN!"
Having spoken as a bold warrior must, GUNTHAR HORNHELM looks about for a passage down into the tower proper: failing this, GUNTHAR attempts to climb down the tower wall, using his MIGHTY AXE to gain purchase on its rocky surface!
Joshua would prefer if Rana could deliver him to the top of the eldritch tower.(Not delivered due to Naturegirl's 6.)
If I get there, begin thoroughly searching the tower's lower levels.
If not, just stick with Rana for now.
Look through my host’s memories to try determining the language of Eldritch creatures6
Try to use the Eldritch language to ask the tentacled creatures to help with obtaining milk, explaining that it has vast power and can be used for anything
If the language my host knows doesn’t seem to work, pick up Joshua and fly him to the top of the tower, then take flight in search of a fellow Byakhee to talk with
Joshua requests that Rana deliver him to the top of the tower, but she's momentarily distracted with extracting her host's knowledge of Eldritch Speech. Meanwhile, GUNTHAR decides to get started on exploring the tower. "Valorous compatriots! Let us inspect now with all courage this ELDRITCH TOWER, and the wonders and horrors that may be CONTAINED THEREIN!" GUNTHAR doesn't find an obvious entrance, so he begins to climb down the side with his MIGHTY AXE. He hasn't gone far though when Rana addresses the passing behemoths in Eldritch. The language is a study in contrasts, guttural and final in one breath, squeaking and whining in another, and moldy with whispers in another. She greets the monsters, and they reply in a hundred voices, speaking Eldritch, English, and in the voice you feared most to hear.
"We know you. It has been some time, Thief Rana. You have stolen hundreds of pounds of our servants, and damaged others. This is not Acceptable. You will pay for what you have taken. Your mind shall twist and turn until Thief Rana is no more. What remains will serve, until your debt is paid. This is Acceptable."
"Trespasser Joshua, and Trespasser Gunthar. You have committed no sin but the accompanying of Thief Rana. For this, we shall show mercy. As you slave and madden, we shall tell you such truths that you are grateful when you become Acceptable."
The horrors begin to float toward you, distorting like a halo around the moon.
Grab the milk jug and summon some ghost milk!
4
You pick up the milk jug, and draw a quick ritual circle. Following the instructions of the Laconomicon, you reach out to the afterworld and draw back the soul of the milk that once dwelt here. After minutes of chanting, you open your eyes. It is done. The milk jug floats before you. Inside, not quite there, but hovering inside the jug like a lagging afterimage, is a ghost of milk. It's not yet true milk, but it's almost there. According to the Laconomicon, you need to do something to give the milk a sense of "meaning" somehow, before it becomes fully real.
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on April 26, 2020, 02:32:27 pm
Post by: Enemy post on April 26, 2020, 02:39:24 pm
Will for the hat harder, it might take some time for it to cross the dimensional barrier but that should speed things up a bit. Then proceed to "help" with fixing up the TARDIS, it would be very "bad" if it "somehow" broke down and the gang had to walk on foot, "very" "bad" "indeed".
SM already returned your hat on turn 7, you just picked it up off the ground. Sorry if that wasn't clear.
Post by: Superdorf on April 26, 2020, 02:42:51 pm
GUNTHAR HORNHELM glares from his precarious handhold at the approaching horrors.
"You dare impugn the honor of GUNTHAR's noble compatriot? Then perish, fell creatures, before the steel of GINNUNGAGAP! Perish before the WRATH of GUNTHAR!"
And with that and a feeble yell, GUNTHAR leaps into battle!
Post by: Glass on April 26, 2020, 02:44:24 pm
*sigh/hiss*
Ssarscel turns toward the remainder of the people who had all-too-recently been inside the tavern.
"Well then.
Regardlessssss. I ssstill need to get to the Florencccce Memorial library for ressearch, and will need protection. Can you lot manage that without tearing a hole in reality again?
Post by: darkwarlock3 on April 26, 2020, 02:54:28 pm
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 26, 2020, 03:01:21 pm
(https://imgur.com/xLRNq8t.png)Rana grabs Gunthar to keep him from attacking and continues talking to them in the Eldritch language
GUNTHAR HORNHELM glares from his precarious handhold at the approaching horrors.
"You dare impugn the honor of GUNTHAR's noble compatriot? Then perish, fell creatures, before the steel of GINNUNGAGAP! Perish before the WRATH of GUNTHAR!"
And with that and a feeble yell, GUNTHAR leaps into battle!
”There was a seven headed goat who intended to destroy both of our worlds. I was planning to return your servants when the goat demons stopped eating the universe. Something happened that destroyed most milk, and it’s difficult to make portals here. I can leave the Byakhee and we can return to the material plane to find milk for you, it could heal those that were hurt”
Put Gunthar down near Joshua, then Fly the Byakhee towards them, then leave its body and return to my group
I am no longer controlling your servants. The Byakhee is yours again. What kind of debt do you need? We can get things from the material plane here, maybe you can use them to make new servants, to replace the ones killed by the seven headed goat and its demons
Post by: Enemy post on April 26, 2020, 03:06:15 pm
continue searching for rumors in the tavern
The tavern exploded, it's gone now.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 26, 2020, 03:13:17 pm
replaced with a giant Irish phone boothcontinue searching for rumors in the tavern
The tavern exploded, it's gone now.
Post by: darkwarlock3 on April 26, 2020, 03:43:44 pm
Post by: Imic on April 26, 2020, 03:52:55 pm
Seán heads back to the TARDIS and tries to decrease its size again. If there’s time, he’ll try and triangulate the location of the mountains and the rough area the doom mug may be using whatever mapping software the TARDIS has.
Post by: ziizo on April 26, 2020, 04:01:14 pm
Post by: The Canadian kitten on April 26, 2020, 05:15:12 pm
Post by: TricMagic on April 26, 2020, 05:40:31 pm
Then jump to the nearest network to just make a body copy on the spot, giving this up as somewhat of a bad job..
Post by: Roboson on April 26, 2020, 06:04:05 pm
Go to the grocery store and purchase cereal.
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on April 26, 2020, 06:45:42 pm
Adam muttered some curse words under his breath.
Spoiler: EP (click to show/hide)
Post by: Avetruetotheimperator on April 26, 2020, 07:42:03 pm
Post by: Yoink on April 26, 2020, 08:48:05 pm
SEDUCE THEM
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 26, 2020, 08:51:08 pm
SEDUCE THE GIRAFFE-ZEBRA-THINGSOkapis, they are called okapis
SEDUCE THEM
Post by: King Zultan on April 27, 2020, 09:02:13 am
Jump behind his car, then if he puts the gun away leave, but if he doesn't put away the gun try to shoot him with my crossbow.
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on April 27, 2020, 09:23:15 am
"Yeah, we can go to the library, not my original plan, but that's basically the story of my life at this point."
Post by: Glass on April 27, 2020, 10:48:30 am
Proceed to the Florence Memorial library with anyone who will accompany me.
Post by: CABL on April 27, 2020, 12:20:11 pm
If the eldritch beings will attack us, fend them off and run towards the tower.
If it goes smoothly, then... I guess I'll run towards the tower.
Post by: Enemy post on April 29, 2020, 12:55:06 am
"Help" with fixing up the TARDIS, it would be very "bad" if it "somehow" broke down and the gang had to walk on foot, "very" "bad" "indeed".6
"..."
*sigh/hiss*
Ssarscel turns toward the remainder of the people who had all-too-recently been inside the tavern.
"Well then.
Regardlessssss. I ssstill need to get to the Florencccce Memorial library for ressearch, and will need protection. Can you lot manage that without tearing a hole in reality again?
Sorry, god. It’s just a phone booth. There used to be one just like it on main street in my village, and I never saw anyone there complain when it grew seven times its height, demolished the neighbouring pub, and vanished two days later with an echoing noise like metal being scraped against metal. Why can’t youse be like them. They just made a circle of stones around where it had been and conducted the ritual of the stone of god complete with sacrificed civil servants and the pub came back. Nooo, youse have to complain. The warlord probably counts as a civil servant, so you could even conduct the ritual. Honestly, people these days.5
Seán heads back to the TARDIS and tries to decrease its size again. If there’s time, he’ll try and triangulate the location of the mountains and the rough area the doom mug may be using whatever mapping software the TARDIS has.
"This... this is a fucking Tuesday. Speaking of which, I see we're a few men down. Wonderful."
Adam muttered some curse words under his breath.Spoiler: EP (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
"Thank you."1
Proceed to the Florence Memorial library with anyone who will accompany me.
Adam turned to Ssarscel
"Yeah, we can go to the library, not my original plan, but that's basically the story of my life at this point."
Ssarscel looks on at the ruins of the bar. "Well then. Regardlessssss. I ssstill need to get to the Florencccce Memorial library for ressearch, and will need protection. Can you lot manage that without tearing a hole in reality again?" Adam replies. "This... this is a fucking Tuesday. Speaking of which, I see we're a few men down. Wonderful."
Adam muttered some curse words under his breath. His mysterious powers somehow imbue an actual effect into the words. d100=76 Somehow, he and Juainos become linked. Both of them develop a serious dairy allegy, and what triggers a reaction in one will affect both of them. Adam turned to Ssarscel. "Yeah, we can go to the library, not my original plan, but that's basically the story of my life at this point." "Thank you."
The two of them set off out of town with whoever decides to accompany them. They make it a good way out into the desert in search of Florence Memorial, before realizing that they're lost and the canteen had a leak.
Meanwhile, Shaun and Juainos work on the TARDIS. They do an excellent job getting the machine up and running. Juainos almost seems disappointed somehow, as if he was trying to sabotage the craft and instead made only improvements. Of course, Juainos would never do something like that. Shaun's TARDIS now provides a +1 on travel rolls through space or time.
After the repairs are done, Shaun uses the TARDIS computer to determine the location of the Doom Mug. He receives detailed 3D imagery of the destroyed mug, and coordinates to its location. The doomsday weapon is shattered against the side of a mountain. Extremely high winds blow all around the area.
(https://imgur.com/xLRNq8t.png)2+1 for axe, -1 for Rana's 1.
GUNTHAR HORNHELM glares from his precarious handhold at the approaching horrors.
"You dare impugn the honor of GUNTHAR's noble compatriot? Then perish, fell creatures, before the steel of GINNUNGAGAP! Perish before the WRATH of GUNTHAR!"
And with that and a feeble yell, GUNTHAR leaps into battle!
Rana grabs Gunthar to keep him from attacking and continues talking to them in the Eldritch language1
”There was a seven headed goat who intended to destroy both of our worlds. I was planning to return your servants when the goat demons stopped eating the universe. Something happened that destroyed most milk, and it’s difficult to make portals here. I can leave the Byakhee and we can return to the material plane to find milk for you, it could heal those that were hurt”
Put Gunthar down near Joshua, then Fly the Byakhee towards them, then leave its body and return to my group
I am no longer controlling your servants. The Byakhee is yours again. What kind of debt do you need? We can get things from the material plane here, maybe you can use them to make new servants, to replace the ones killed by the seven headed goat and its demons
Just observe the situation and how it will evolve for now.3, 6
If the eldritch beings will attack us, fend them off and run towards the tower.
If it goes smoothly, then... I guess I'll run towards the tower.
(Creatures:Attack Joshua)
4 vs 5
"You dare impugn the honor of GUNTHAR's noble compatriot? Then perish, fell creatures, before the steel of GINNUNGAGAP! Perish before the WRATH of GUNTHAR!"
Rana attempts to stop the NOBLE WARRIOR and talk the monsters down, but all she manages to do is slow him down slightly. As a result, GUNTHAR's heroic YELPING and BRAVE CHOPPING only manage to annoy the monsters slightly. A set of tendrils lash out at Joshua. The two duel inconclusively for a moment, and then Joshua turns and retreats to the tower. By approaching counter-clockwise rather than GUNTHAR's clockwise approach, Joshua is able to find the entrance.
It's full of ghouls.
continue searching for rumors around town about milk
4
Given the sudden lack of a bar, you're forced to search elsewhere for signs of milk. You hear the legends about the Doom Mug at White Mountain forest, of course, and the rumor about the T'zzz cult. There's also a guy trying to collect pigeons, claiming they can be used to produce milk. Since they aren't mammals, relatively more of them survived in comparison to the traditional sources.
Wake up
3
You struggle to wake up, through a series of bizarre dreams. You imagine yourself crashing through a window in a pre-apocalyptic house, hot on the trail of milk. You see an ambiguous man who isn't really a vampire. You even see your master, T'zzz, dreaming all we see or seem.
Weird. You wake up and find yourself in your ritual chambers again.
Okay get everyone and me to march out into the countryside to find some milk.
4
The townsfolk clear well out of the way when they see a man, a catgirl (who is expressionlessly singing Nyanshin (https://soundcloud.com/nyanshin) as she walks) and a pack of sewer clowns all walking out of town. You all head into the wastelands in search of milk. As you leave, you see a man entering the town with what almost looks like a jug of milk tucked under his jacket.
Set a virus inside the avatar that plays Nyanshin (https://soundcloud.com/nyanshin) in the controller's data network.(FISH Attack) (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phishing)
Then jump to the nearest network to just make a body copy on the spot, giving this up as somewhat of a bad job..
4, 5
You successfully leave the virus behind. Your old body begins to endlessly recite the song, indicating your success.
You abandon the compromised network and start again. You escape to the original connection you started from, generating a new form to take. This time, you make sure to harden it against hostile intelligences in your network. John's trick won't work twice.
What does one do with milk? What would you do with normal milk.... Yes...(There were a lot of ways you could take that question, but that was the exact answer and result I was hoping for.)
Go to the grocery store and purchase cereal.
5
You know what must be done. You sneak back into town. You go to the shop and buy a box of old Cheerios, and you "pour" the ghost milk. At first, it's only a blurry, fuzzy afterimage of milk. Then, sound returns. A few moments later, and the cereal is suddenly knocked aside by the flow. Real milk, pure and true, just like the old days, is pouring into the cereal.
You win the game!
What do you do next?
Alright, these nutso's seem rather occupied. But should prove useful. The Superior Neanderthal brain will outsmart them! First, consult the GREAT CODEX for hints regarding the location of milk.
1+1 as compensation for the dice apparently hating you so much.
You try to consult the GREAT CODEX for advice on finding milk. Unfortunately, its information hasn't been updated since the last couple versions and is fairly out of date. It just says "Milk:Quest item, edible, 1lb. Usually available at any store."
SEDUCE THE GIRAFFE-ZEBRA-THINGS(That was not the tactic I was expecting, and I really didn't expect that result.)
SEDUCE THEM
5
The giraffe-zebra-things surround you as you look for a way out. No flamethrower, and they've got you surrounded. They're closing in on you, when you suddenly have an idea. You rapidly identify the one that looks like it might be in charge, and complement her shiny pelt. The okapis stop in confusion, and you methodically flirt with every single one in turn. In short order, you successfully seduce the okapis.
"Holy shit what is your deal, I not going to steal your shitty car, just put the damn gun down and I'll leave."
Jump behind his car, then if he puts the gun away leave, but if he doesn't put away the gun try to shoot him with my crossbow.
5
The chupacabra reacts with confusion, pointing his shotgun at you. Finally, he lowers the weapon. "You really mean that, don't you? Huh, sorry about trying to kill you. You don't often meet decent folk out here, you know?"
OOC:I wasn't sure who still intended to go with Adam and Ssarscel, so I wrote it ambiguously.
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on April 29, 2020, 01:43:00 am
Post by: The Canadian kitten on April 29, 2020, 02:47:18 am
Post by: darkwarlock3 on April 29, 2020, 02:58:01 am
Post by: ziizo on April 29, 2020, 05:31:04 am
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 29, 2020, 06:27:55 am
Post by: Glass on April 29, 2020, 09:03:37 am
Look for landmarks and rivers.
Post by: Enemy post on April 29, 2020, 09:19:24 am
((@Enemy Post: Am I still in the Byakhee?))
Yes. I figured you might not give it up after being unable to stop GUNTHAR.
Post by: CABL on April 29, 2020, 09:20:58 am
Throw a special potion which smells of human flesh at the ghouls to distract them.
Prepare pitons and other climbing gear in order to reach the eldritch tower's top. I'm not risking fighting one vs many.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 29, 2020, 10:00:40 am
((correct: Action below))((@Enemy Post: Am I still in the Byakhee?))
Yes. I figured you might not give it up after being unable to stop GUNTHAR.
Follow Joshua into the tower
Post by: Superdorf on April 29, 2020, 11:10:00 am
GUNTHAR HORNHELM continues his GLORIOUS ASSAULT!
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on April 29, 2020, 11:13:55 am
(https://i.imgur.com/xLRNq8t.png)Are you sure you don;t want to come with us? Splitting up doesn’t sound wise, travel counterclockwise like Joshua and the entrance is there
GUNTHAR HORNHELM continues his GLORIOUS ASSAULT!
Post by: Superdorf on April 29, 2020, 11:46:17 am
"GUNTHAR holds back these creatures, that his COMPATRIOTS may continue in safety! Give strength unto GUNTHAR, AXE OF THE GINNUNGAGAP!"
And then there is naught but the sounds of battle.
Post by: Imic on April 29, 2020, 04:55:42 pm
Head to the doom mug, or as close as can be gotten. Survey the area. Stick a post it note to the TARDIS to not forget about the ‘Human’ named Adam, since I did say I was going to help and he did mention his plans. Might as well see what’s up with this While he’s casting Eldritch spells and curses under his breath.
Post by: Yoink on April 29, 2020, 11:32:38 pm
I WILL TAKE THIS CHANCE TO ABANDON THE CONSTANT STRESS, CONFUSION, MATERIALISM AND STRESSFUL CONFUSING MATERIALISM OF HUMAN LIFE AND CLAIM A PLACE AMONGST THE OKAPI HERD --WAIT, WHAT, THEY'RE MOSTLY SOLITARY CREATURES?! WELL, SCREW THAT, I WILL, THROUGH THE POWER OF BESTIA-- UH, MY OWN PIONEERING HANDS-ON METHOD OF ANIMAL HUSBANDRY, UNITE MY STRIPY-ARSED BRETHEN INTO A COHERENT SOCIETY FOR ONCE. A TRUE FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH.
ESTABLISH MYSELF AS GRAND WARLORD OF THE OKAPI SPECIES AND ATTEMPT TO LEAD MY ADOPTED PEOPLE INTO A NEW GOLDEN AGE
I, AS WELL AS MY
Post by: King Zultan on April 30, 2020, 05:11:42 am
Ask the question.
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on April 30, 2020, 06:27:50 pm
Post by: Enemy post on May 01, 2020, 01:49:22 am
Juainos will check to see if he still has his EpiPen on his front pocket. Then we will enter the TARDIS (Which he totally didn't mean to sabotage) and go along with the party to the Doom Mug.
3, 1
Sensing the curse that's been put on you, you pat your front pocket. Your EpiPen is still in there, though it's long past its expiration date. However, in the moment of distraction, you hear Shaun say his goodbyes. He promises you a favor and dematerializes before you can get the door open, leaving you behind.
Warmly thank Juainos with his help and promise him a favour, then send him on his way. Lovely guy, and very good with a hammer, though the way he went smashing things was a bit worrisome, even considering it was a calculated move to get those pieces connected and running together.
Head to the doom mug, or as close as can be gotten. Survey the area. Stick a post it note to the TARDIS to not forget about the ‘Human’ named Adam, since I did say I was going to help and he did mention his plans. Might as well see what’s up with this While he’s casting Eldritch spells and curses under his breath.
6+1
That Juainos really is a nice, innocent, purple guy who definitely isn't the worst murderer in the history of the universe. Decent repairman too.
Ignoring the mysterious banging on your TARDIS' door, you put up the sticky note and teleport to Mount Washington. Your TARDIS materializes on a ledge overlooking the Doom Mug's crash site. According to your scanners, the Mug is filled with an unusual amount of densely packed dust. Presumably its original supply was destroyed in the Snap, although there could be something worth finding inside if you're able to search the site. Semi-humanoid figures are moving around in the ruin. Extremely high winds buffet the area, but you're able to root the TARDIS in place by modifying its density in time thanks to Juainos' efficient repairs.
GET THE SEWER CLOWNS TO KILL THIS MAN. Also, can I get better network defences?
1, 1+1
The sewer clowns stop on a dime upon hearing your command, spin on their heels as one, and then red noses honk ominously as they sniff out their target. Unfortunately, the scent of blood is strong here. The sewer clowns' underdeveloped minds go through a burst of memory at the familiar smell. Cherished memories of baiting victims into drains, fleeing bats, and waiting eagerly in the closet for toes to appear outside of blankets fill their hearts, and they are able to rebel against your control for the moment and begin attacking the nearby townsfolk.
On the network defense front, all you can detect is the remains of a Norton Antivirus free trial still floating by on what remains of a Wi-Fi signal.
start traveling towards that doom mug thing
1
You try to leave town, but are interrupted by the inconvenient decision of the assimilated sewer clowns to break their programming and go on a murderous rampage in the streets.
contact the rest of the cult, is time to invade the Dairy Queen lands and take her milk.
2
You call up your fellow cultists and attempt to organize an invasion of the Dairy Queen's lands. However, most of them are currently hiding from the rampaging sewer clowns, and whatever blew up the bar while you were asleep. It'll take some effort to convince them to leave now.
“...we are losssst and lacking water. Fucking wonderful.”2
Look for landmarks and rivers.
"Lacking water? I doubt that. Let me check."5Use my powers to refill the canteens and fix the leaksCheck the canteens and find that they are miraculously full and not leaking, and now can contain twice as much water as they should be able to.
Adam and Ssarscel walk through the desert, thoroughly lost. Thankfully, Adam miraculously finds that their canteens aren't leaking, and are in fact somehow full. In fact, they never run out of whatever liquid is put into them.
"Ah, the wonderful smell of rotting flesh that ghouls carry with themselves!"1
Throw a special potion which smells of human flesh at the ghouls to distract them.
Prepare pitons and other climbing gear in order to reach the eldritch tower's top. I'm not risking fighting one vs many.
Follow Joshua into the tower(No roll, situation changed.)
(https://i.imgur.com/xLRNq8t.png)5+1
GUNTHAR HORNHELM continues his GLORIOUS ASSAULT!
(Ghouls vs Joshua)
2+1 vs 4
Joshua and Rana stand by the entrance to the tower as GUNTHAR battles the eldritch horrors. "Ah, the wonderful smell of rotting flesh that ghouls carry with themselves!", comments Joshua, before pulling out a potion of rotstink. Unfortunately, it slips from his hand and lands on his shoes. The gaunt, doglike faces of the ghouls twist in clear amusement as they attack him with increased ferocity. Thankfully, Joshua's combat experience allows him to hold off the ghouls for now.
Rana attempts to convince GUNTHAR to retreat.
"Are you sure you don;t want to come with us? Splitting up doesn’t sound wise, travel counterclockwise like Joshua and the entrance is there."
The thin voice of GUNTHAR wafts down from his lofty war-perch.
"GUNTHAR holds back these creatures, that his COMPATRIOTS may continue in safety! Give strength unto GUNTHAR, AXE OF THE GINNUNGAGAP!"
And then there is naught but the sounds of battle.
Somehow, GUNTHAR is not instantly slain by the eldritch horrors. The AXE OF THE GINNUGAGAP rips dimensional rifts into the physical manifestations of the nightmares, so they pull back and try a different tactic. The horrors invade GUNTHAR's mind.
For a few seconds. The horrors recoil in seconds, squealing like lacerated rats.
"That mind...is not Acceptable."
WHAT AN OPPORTUNITY!(I'll admit I really didn't expect this, or that the dice would be so thoroughly in your favor.)
I WILL TAKE THIS CHANCE TO ABANDON THE CONSTANT STRESS, CONFUSION, MATERIALISM AND STRESSFUL CONFUSING MATERIALISM OF HUMAN LIFE AND CLAIM A PLACE AMONGST THE OKAPI HERD --WAIT, WHAT, THEY'RE MOSTLY SOLITARY CREATURES?! WELL, SCREW THAT, I WILL, THROUGH THE POWER OF BESTIA-- UH, MY OWN PIONEERING HANDS-ON METHOD OF ANIMAL HUSBANDRY, UNITE MY STRIPY-ARSED BRETHEN INTO A COHERENT SOCIETY FOR ONCE. A TRUE FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH.
ESTABLISH MYSELF AS GRAND WARLORD OF THE OKAPI SPECIES AND ATTEMPT TO LEAD MY ADOPTED PEOPLE INTO A NEW GOLDEN AGE
I, AS WELL AS MYGROTESQUE, MAGNIFICENT CHIMERIC OFFSPRING SHALL GROW STRONG FROM NUTRITIOUS OKAPI MILK AND USE OUR HANDY-DANDY OPPOSABLE THUMBS TO ENACT A BLOODY CONQUEST OF THE SUB-SAHARAN RAINFOREST AND, SOME DAY HOPEFULLY WITHIN MY LIFETIME, THE WORLD!
4
You abandon the stressful confusing materialism of human life, and use your charms to persuade the okapis to abandon their instinctual solitary lives and found a new empire with you.
You and the okapis build a town together, and you declare yourself Grand Warlord of the okapi race. You gather together your...
(Ok)
(What twisted DeviantArt curse have I awoken)
(Did I err?)
(How did it come to this...)
(why)
(i just said get milk)
(just do a normal thing)
(ok)
(ph'nglui mglw'nafh cthulhu r'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn)
...You gather your okapi consorts and inform them of your plans to spawn a race of chimeric offspring to rule the world. As Grand Warlord, you are able to understand what your okapis are thinking. Although devoted to you, the okapis do have a problem to overcome. They are currently enslaved by the terrible Queen who rules this forest. If you want to truly be the supreme ruler of the okapi race and their hybrid descendants, you will need to overthrow her.
"I'm not from a round here so I don't know how many friendly people are around, but everything's cool now no one's dead or injured, so I'm gonna leave but before I leave do you know about any other cars that run or might be easy to fix nearby."
Ask the question.
5
"You know, I actually do. There's Honest Jane's car dealership just a couple miles east. It's a good place for vehicles. Lots of repaired vehicles from the Human Age there. I stop by every so often to gas up the Thunderbird here, or pick out some new weapons. I could give you a lift if you like, it's on the way."
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on May 01, 2020, 01:58:06 am
Post by: The Canadian kitten on May 01, 2020, 02:50:28 am
Post by: Superdorf on May 01, 2020, 02:55:38 am
"Foolish creatures! You intrude upon the HARDENED MIND of a WARRIOR! PERISH NOW BEFORE GUNTHAR!"
And again GUNTHAR HORNHELM lashes against his fell enemy, now with demented mind and keen-edged blade alike!
Post by: King Zultan on May 01, 2020, 04:19:15 am
Take the ride to the dealership.
Post by: ziizo on May 01, 2020, 05:52:36 am
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 01, 2020, 06:54:24 am
Post by: Glass on May 01, 2020, 08:55:55 am
“Okay, ssstop. What are you? Becaussse I can sssay quite sssscertainly that theessse were very much empty.”
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on May 01, 2020, 10:37:39 am
Post by: darkwarlock3 on May 01, 2020, 02:14:14 pm
Post by: Imic on May 02, 2020, 04:05:15 am
Post by: CABL on May 02, 2020, 07:18:19 am
Use pitons and other climbing equipment to reach the top of the tower.
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on May 02, 2020, 12:24:26 pm
Post by: Enemy post on May 03, 2020, 02:03:21 am
Juainos climbs atop his hat before activating the flying salsa function and hovering towards the Doom Mug's location faster than that one famous rat from cartoons..
3
You see that the settlement is currently under a major attack from a pack of out of control sewer clowns. Even worse, those they catch join the pack in biting others. Time to go, then.
You hop onto your gloriously massive mariachi hat and fly toward the Doom Mug to a soundtrack of Spanish singing, a guitar, two trumpets, and a whole bunch of violins. It's a fun ride, but it's taking a while to get there without a TARDIS.
Stop the clowns from killing anybody, and try to bring more people under my control.
3, 6
Unfortunately, several villagers are killed by the sewer clowns before you can refresh the viruses in the clown's central nervous systems. The clowns still aren't completely under control, but their bites are spreading your infection to whoever they bite. The effected victims now join the horde in spreading your consciousness to others, although you'll need to exert more of your will to assert control.
"Yes a ride sounds nice, I might even be able to get something better than this crossbow that I made, I'm not even sure it works."
Take the ride to the dealership.
1
You get in the car and ride with the chupacabra towards Honest Jane's dealership. On the way, he introduces himself as Obrador. As you pull toward the dealership, he starts to talk about the world before the Event.
"You know, one thing I really miss about the Human Age is the organization. They had this incredible system for coordinating their massive populations, always for the common good. The humans even gave a percentage of their money over voluntarily! Course, that's just to hear me tell it."
He chuckles behind the wheel.
"I mean, I've always been a big fan of
The Government."
Go alone to the lands of the Dairy Queen.
4
So be it. You ride alone. You quickly leave town before the spreading sewer clown virus can reach you, and run out into the wasteland. After a journey of appropriately ambiguous length, you find yourself on the edge of the Dairy Queen's forest. Twisted trees and mysterious noises provide a forbidding welcome to this place.
(https://i.imgur.com/xLRNq8t.png)6+2
"Foolish creatures! You intrude upon the HARDENED MIND of a WARRIOR! PERISH NOW BEFORE GUNTHAR!"
And again GUNTHAR HORNHELM lashes against his fell enemy, now with demented mind and keen-edged blade alike!
Kill and eat the ghouls3+1
Remove my shoes and throw them at the ghouls.3, 3
Use pitons and other climbing equipment to reach the top of the tower.
(Ghouls:Attack Rana)
3 vs 6+1
At the tower, Joshua heroically attacks the ghouls by removing his shoes and flinging them into the pack. It has exactly as much effect as you would expect. Rana has a bit more success with her idea of ripping a pair of them open and devouring the spilled intestines as a warning to the others. The ghouls back off for a moment at the display, and Joshua uses the distraction to start climbing the tower.
Meanwhile, GUNTHAR uses the two weapons available to him to attack the horrors, his AXE OF THE GINNUGAGAP and his SERIOUS ISSUES. The colossal scale of his assault actually forces the horrors to retreat for now into 4th dimensional angles that GUNTHAR cannot perceive. Of course, this does leave GUNTHAR to deal with a major problem, in that he no longer has anything to hold him up above the void below him and is now falling.
Ssarscel stops for a moment, and looks his companion dead in the eyes.
“Okay, ssstop. What are you? Becaussse I can sssay quite sssscertainly that theessse were very much empty.”
”I am a completely normal human being,” Adam responded, ”...who may or may not own a guitar crafted in the forge of creation for the express purpose of fighting Thainos...”
Continue on our way.6
After the
“Okay, ssstop. What are you? Becaussse I can sssay quite sssscertainly that theessse were very much empty.”
”I am a completely normal human being,” Adam responded, ”...who may or may not own a guitar crafted in the forge of creation for the express purpose of fighting Thainos...”
Ssarscel seems unconvinced, but the two continue on their way into the desert.
They successfully become even more lost.
start to stab the clown repeatedly with bones until it dies
1
You try to attack a clown. Unfortunately, it smells you coming and whips around to catch your extended bone blade through its palm. The clown honks maniacally and bites you on the wrist. Despite your lack of blood, you struggle to maintain control against the digital virus spreading up your arm.
Move to get a better look at the semi-humanoids, and anything extra to be noticed from the doom mug, anything at all. Once there’s nothing more to be seen, head back to the TARDIS and use the stove I set up there to fry up some lunch. Rashers, sausages, some black and white pudding, a slice of toast, and a poached egg, provided I still have enough food to do that.
1
You decide to leave the TARDIS and scout out the corpse of the Doom Mug in person. Before you can find anything of note, a gust of wind blows you off your feet and down a hill. You roll rapidly toward the edge of a precipice. At the last moment, you're able to grab a small dead tree while hanging over the edge. As you cling for your life, one of the figures begins to approach through the blowing dust and traces of snow.
Post by: The Canadian kitten on May 03, 2020, 03:49:30 am
Post by: King Zultan on May 03, 2020, 06:17:39 am
OH GOD, this guy is one of those government loving IDIOTS so much for trying to make friends with this guy, now I just have to wait for him to drop me off at the dealership so I can get away from him so I don't get infected by his government loving STUPIDNESS. Burt though to himself.
Wait for him to drop me off at dealership, if he doesn't stop for what ever reason throw myself from the car as near the dealership as possible, then look for whoever's in charge and ask about buying a car.
Post by: Glass on May 03, 2020, 08:12:02 am
Look for anything that might possibly inform us as to where we are and how to get to where we want to be.
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on May 03, 2020, 08:57:42 am
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 03, 2020, 10:46:07 am
Post by: ziizo on May 03, 2020, 01:05:01 pm
Post by: Superdorf on May 03, 2020, 02:48:18 pm
GUNTHAR allows his HONORED COMPATRIOT to attempt the catch... but if she fails in the attempt, GUNTHAR will take matters into his own hands. If she fails, GUNTHAR will with his MIGHTY AXE rend the air once again, in a second attempt to cast himself into the REALM of GINNUNGAGAP!
Post by: darkwarlock3 on May 03, 2020, 04:08:58 pm
Post by: CABL on May 04, 2020, 01:27:06 am
Accept Rana's help, but keep climbing for now.
Once I've climbed to the top, start peeking into the lower levels of the tower.
Post by: Imic on May 04, 2020, 04:28:37 am
Post by: Enemy post on May 05, 2020, 01:39:34 am
Actually, this is good! Get the everyone of my horde (Leave some for protecting me) to start the biting and spreading the virus. THE MIND CONTROLISH CLOWN HORDE ARE COMING FOR YOU.
5
Rather than resist the chaos, you choose to embrace it. In so doing, you regain control. After devoting a few of your victims to protect your original body, your virus rapidly overtakes the town. The warlord attempts to control the fighting with a lockdown, but for some reason, various citizens cripple his efforts with protests.
After a long while of violence, nearly the entire town's population gathers in the market square. Your network is now in full control of this area.
"Yeah.... them governments sure are... good."
OH GOD, this guy is one of those government loving IDIOTS so much for trying to make friends with this guy, now I just have to wait for him to drop me off at the dealership so I can get away from him so I don't get infected by his government loving STUPIDNESS. Burt though to himself.
Wait for him to drop me off at dealership, if he doesn't stop for what ever reason throw myself from the car as near the dealership as possible, then look for whoever's in charge and ask about buying a car.
3
Obrador drives you into the dealership, still talking about the government. When he pulls out his old personal tapes of NPR broadcasts, you open the door and roll out into the dusty road. A bit of your antler chips off as you roll. You crawl out of the thornbushes you ended up in, brush yourself off, and track down Honest Jane. She's a human woman, currently selling a pickup truck armed with a laser cannon to a small group of interested buyers.
Juainos will activate Gonzales Mode for maximun speed, swooping in at the climatic last second to save Shaun, making the audience doubt his true motivation as a bad guy.
2
You try to activate Gonzales Mode. Your hat spins even faster for a moment, but nothing happens. You realize your hat doesn't even have a Gonzales attachment. The seller must have ripped you off and sold you just a regular giant flying mariachi hat for the added price.
.-.
Look for anything that might possibly inform us as to where we are and how to get to where we want to be.
4
Things seem nearly hopeless, but then your claws scratch against a metal object beneath the sands. You dig it up and discover a fallen road sign. It reads "Genericville:5 miles north." As you know, that city is the home of the Florence Memorial library.
Rana flies to Gunthar and catches him, then flies with Joshua as he climbs, if Joshua falls catch him and fly with both of them to the tower top6
(https://i.imgur.com/xLRNq8t.png)
GUNTHAR allows his HONORED COMPATRIOT to attempt the catch... but if she fails in the attempt, GUNTHAR will take matters into his own hands. If she fails, GUNTHAR will with his MIGHTY AXE rend the air once again, in a second attempt to cast himself into the REALM of GINNUNGAGAP!
((Oops, should've clarified that I wanted to throw the shoes away because they were covered in the rotstink substance. Oh well.))(No problem. Sorry I forgot about that.)
Accept Rana's help, but keep climbing for now.
Once I've climbed to the top, start peeking into the lower levels of the tower.
1
Rana swoops down from the tower and grabs GUNTHAR out of the air. GUNTHAR seems almost disappointed at being rescued rather than forced to escape into the Ginnungagap. Rana then wheels around and tries to follow Joshua up the tower. Unfortunately, the bizarre geometry of the tower briefly causes her to lose sight of him. It's poor timing, as Joshua finds himself in trouble. The oddly slick surface of the tower causes him to slip, and a window opens in the wall underneath him, nearly ready to catch him. A gasping whisper escapes from the opening.
break the arm that is infected off and begin slapping the clown with it
2
You try to break your arm off, but you find that you aren't strong enough. The clown honks once more after looking at your bite, and then runs off to infect others. You take a moment to exert your will and prevent yourself from joining him, but when you're done you find that seemingly the entire rest of the town has been turned by the virus.
Climb up and run.3
(Creature:3)
With great difficulty, you're able to lift yourself onto the mountainside. You don't have time to run before the creature is upon you. It looks like an enchanted wind holding together a body of dust from the Doom Mug's contents. The creature hurls a punch at you, but you're able to roll to the side just in time.
Post by: darkwarlock3 on May 05, 2020, 03:01:19 am
Post by: The Canadian kitten on May 05, 2020, 03:29:31 am
Post by: Enemy post on May 05, 2020, 06:27:44 am
OH YEAH. Leave some of my victims behind to infect more people of this town while I shall travel with my main group to another town to spread the digital virus. Also, what happened to the guy with milk?
(He’s hiding in an unknown location, pending Roboson’s return.)
Post by: ziizo on May 05, 2020, 06:40:34 am
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on May 05, 2020, 07:23:07 am
Post by: King Zultan on May 05, 2020, 07:59:14 am
Look around the car lot until someone comes to try to sell me a car, then get them to show me the cheapest car they have and buy it if I can.
Post by: Glass on May 05, 2020, 08:54:36 am
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 05, 2020, 08:59:31 am
(https://i.imgur.com/xLRNq8t.png)Throw Gunthar towards the window and follow him and Joshua in
"QUICKLY, honored compatriot! HURL GUNTHAR into that architectural maw, that he may purge it with PRIMORDIAL FIRE!"
And GUNTHAR raises his axe for the flight, ready to cleave AUGHT that WAITS THEREIN!
Post by: Imic on May 05, 2020, 09:13:53 am
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on May 05, 2020, 02:51:18 pm
Just floor it, gotta reach the place eventually right?
Post by: CABL on May 06, 2020, 12:46:40 am
Proceed looking around the tower carefully.
Post by: Yoink on May 06, 2020, 09:34:54 am
GATHER TOGETHER MY WISEST, MOST-TRUSTED OKAPI ADVISORS AND/OR CONCUBINES TOGETHER FOR SECRET INNER COUNCIL
LEARN ALL THEY KNOW OF THIS MYSTERIOUS QUEEN WHAT RULES FOREST
ALSO ASSESS GEOPOLITICAL STATE OF SURROUNDING AREA - WHO ARE OUR NEIGHBOURS, OUR RELATIONS WITH THEM (NOT THAT KIND OF 'RELATIONS', HEH HEH), ALLIANCES AND EMNITIES, THAT SORT OF THING
BEGIN ASSEMBLING FORCE OF SCOUTS AND SPIES FOR FUTURE USE
ALL SWORN TO SECRECY AND TO DIE FOR THE OKAPI CAUSE RATHER THAN BREAK UNDER INTERROGATION
IF I HAVE TIME FOR A MOMENT TO MYSELF DURING ALL THIS, LOCK MYSELF IN OFFICE/TENT, PUT BATTERIES IN DISCMAN, EQUIP HEADPHONES AND LISTEN TO ONE OF MY PRECIOUS CDS OF VERY KVLT, VERY UNDERGROUND, VERY HEAVY BLACKENED UKULELE METAL
Post by: Superdorf on May 06, 2020, 04:50:08 pm
"QUICKLY, honored compatriot! HURL GUNTHAR into that architectural maw, that he may purge it with PRIMORDIAL FIRE!"
And GUNTHAR raises his axe for the flight, ready to cleave AUGHT that WAITS THEREIN!
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 06, 2020, 05:06:15 pm
(https://i.imgur.com/xLRNq8t.png)Throw Gunthar towards the window and follow him and Joshua in
"QUICKLY, honored compatriot! HURL GUNTHAR into that architectural maw, that he may purge it with PRIMORDIAL FIRE!"
And GUNTHAR raises his axe for the flight, ready to cleave AUGHT that WAITS THEREIN!
Post by: Enemy post on May 07, 2020, 01:54:57 am
OH YEAH. Leave some of my victims behind to infect more people of this town while I shall travel with my main group to another town to spread the digital virus. Also, what happened to the guy with milk?
4
You leave a few minions behind to infect whatever stragglers survived your attack and march to the next town. After some time, your next target comes into view. This is the Water Tank. This wealthy town uses a collection of refurbished helicopters to transport water to this region, collected from glacial ice up north.
Advance towards the Dairy Queen castle.
3
You walk into the forest before you, toward the castle of the Dairy Queen. You hear a snap ahead of you and take cover behind a tree. Peeking out, you see a chimera stalking through the forest. The snake tail and lion head search hungrily for prey, while the goat head snaps at the branches above them. It's about to leave the area, but then the distant sound of ukuleles wafts through the trees behind you and draws its attention. The chimera is now walking toward you, but hasn't noticed you yet.
Onwards to Genericville.6
Yes, go north to Genericville.1
You both advance onward, reaching the blasted ruins of what once was Genericville. The crumbling towers speak to the destruction that took this city in the final days after the Event. As you reach the city, the howls and shrieks of its inhabitants reach your ears. That's all the warning you get before a winged creature swoops down and begins carrying Ssarscel away. Adam turns to save him, but then feels a worm mutant wrap around his leg from underground and try to pull him under.
Runrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrun
1
You try to flee to the TARDIS, but slip on loose snow and fall from a ledge.
When you regain consciousness, you find yourself tied to a large chunk of porcelain jabbed into the ground. Several of the creatures are trying to open the door of your TARDIS, while another is assigned to guard you. It looks like it hasn't noticed your recovery yet.
"I know I should've gotten the turbo"
Just floor it, gotta reach the place eventually right?
2+1 for previous progress.
After a long flight, you finally manage to come into sight of Mount Washington. It's easy to see the massive Mug smashed against its surface, even from this far out. Below you, you hear the sound of blackened ukulele metal from a small village in the forest.
Grab onto the window's ledge and climb inside.3
Proceed looking around the tower carefully.
(https://i.imgur.com/xLRNq8t.png)5+1
"QUICKLY, honored compatriot! HURL GUNTHAR into that architectural maw, that he may purge it with PRIMORDIAL FIRE!"
And GUNTHAR raises his axe for the flight, ready to cleave AUGHT that WAITS THEREIN!
Throw Gunthar towards the window and follow him and Joshua in4
Joshua catches the window and looks inside. Just inside is a sorcerer, dressed all in black. His face is obscured under a heavy hood, and he clutches a skull inscribed with this Symbol (https://i.imgur.com/LIDElsB.png). The figure stands over you and raises the skull into the air.
"We are...happy, to see you. It will be good to have another join us. Together, we shall understand the Symbol. So many have joined before. Surrender to the mystery of the Symbol. There is nothing else."
Green mist begins to leak from within the skull and crawl toward you. This might have been cause for concern, if Rana hadn't just shotputted GUNTHAR through the window at him. The flailing AXE OF THE GINNUGAGAP rends the figure into dimensional flames, splatters whatever remains across the walls of the room, and splits the skull neatly in two before GUNTHAR slides into a TRIUMPHANT CRASH against a shelf full of FELL KNOWLEDGE.
"WAIT, WHAT? TERRIBLE QUEEN? WHO DAT?"(I didn't make you roll for the information, since you could get most of this by just rereading other people's turns. Saves time to just give it to you.)
GATHER TOGETHER MY WISEST, MOST-TRUSTED OKAPI ADVISORS AND/OR CONCUBINES TOGETHER FOR SECRET INNER COUNCIL
LEARN ALL THEY KNOW OF THIS MYSTERIOUS QUEEN WHAT RULES FOREST
ALSO ASSESS GEOPOLITICAL STATE OF SURROUNDING AREA - WHO ARE OUR NEIGHBOURS, OUR RELATIONS WITH THEM (NOT THAT KIND OF 'RELATIONS', HEH HEH), ALLIANCES AND EMNITIES, THAT SORT OF THING
BEGIN ASSEMBLING FORCE OF SCOUTS AND SPIES FOR FUTURE USE
ALL SWORN TO SECRECY AND TO DIE FOR THE OKAPI CAUSE RATHER THAN BREAK UNDER INTERROGATION
IF I HAVE TIME FOR A MOMENT TO MYSELF DURING ALL THIS, LOCK MYSELF IN OFFICE/TENT, PUT BATTERIES IN DISCMAN, EQUIP HEADPHONES AND LISTEN TO ONE OF MY PRECIOUS CDS OF VERY KVLT, VERY UNDERGROUND, VERY HEAVY BLACKENED UKULELE METAL
1, 6
You gather your wisest okapis to hear more about the situation, who regularly sends her servants out to harvest their milk for her personal treasure trove of the delicious substance. Along with her monstrous armies, she controls the wind itself and regularly uses it to destroy foes she considers worthy of her personal attention. The rest of the briefing is less successful. It turns out the okapis don't have any particular political relationships, because they're animals. This also means that, despite your best efforts, you aren't able to train them into effective spies.
After a frustratingly futile attempt to convince them that their giraffe relatives have a history of being quite good infiltrators, you head back to your office for some blackened ukulele metal. You decide to turn down the volume a bit from your normal level, just for the sake of discretion until you're ready to fight the Dairy Queen.
Despite that and your headphones, it's still incredibly loud by the standards of those not used to HAWAIIAN KVLT. You're considering turning it back up when your windows explode. Probably best to keep it at the current levels.
break off infected parts of my body, then regrow the bones to replace them
1
You successfully rip both your arms off. It seems like a great success, until you remember that the spell to regrow your limbs has somatic components.
"Damn government loving freak I was hoping people like him were all dead, but I guess not also that bastard cost me part of my antler."
Look around the car lot until someone comes to try to sell me a car, then get them to show me the cheapest car they have and buy it if I can.
2+1 for delay.
You search the lot until a saleswoman asks you if she can help with anything. After some negotiations, you're able to purchase a rusted hovercar. You can't afford any weapon attachments at the moment, but at least the fusion battery still works.
Post by: darkwarlock3 on May 07, 2020, 02:08:57 am
Post by: The Canadian kitten on May 07, 2020, 02:09:26 am
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on May 07, 2020, 02:10:54 am
Juainos flies to the rescue of Ukulele person, wildly shooting lasers from his Flying Salsa
Post by: King Zultan on May 07, 2020, 03:20:44 am
Post by: ziizo on May 07, 2020, 05:06:41 am
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 07, 2020, 08:05:12 am
Read as many books of fell knowledge as I can. Knowledge is power, after all
Post by: Imic on May 07, 2020, 10:22:45 am
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 07, 2020, 10:28:35 am
Post by: Enemy post on May 07, 2020, 12:35:17 pm
(You skipped my action.)
Sorry about that. Your action's been added, with a +1 bonus.
Post by: Glass on May 07, 2020, 04:47:10 pm
Mainly, we wants to get down to the ground safely.
Post by: CABL on May 08, 2020, 01:48:02 am
Regardless of the outcome (sans crit failure, I guess), carefully and stealthily search for milk in the tower, avoiding eye contact with the inhabitants when possible.
Post by: King Zultan on May 08, 2020, 08:49:47 am
Drive it to Washington D.C. so I can see if there is any government left.
Post by: Enemy post on May 08, 2020, 11:19:17 pm
Post by: Superdorf on May 08, 2020, 11:39:53 pm
Gunthar, care to read with me? Might as well read what you crashed into, right? Maybe there’s healing magic in one of these
(https://imgur.com/L7HV3h1.png)
GUNTHAR sniffs, picking himself up from his state of triumphant disarray.
"GUNTHAR HORNHELM has no need for fell knowledge, HONORED COMPATRIOT-- GUNTHAR reads only the runic sagas of those MIGHTY WARRIORS who came before him! Thus GUNTHAR is inspired to ever greater DEEDS of GLORIOUS WARFARE!"
"Study the unsavory ways of our slaughtered foe if you will. GUNTHAR goes to purge this tower for his own!"
And with that, GUNTHAR begins his heroic wanderings of the tower he now finds himself in, seeking to ensure in violent fashion that NAUGHT REMAINS for FRIEND JOSHUA to AVOID EYE CONTACT WITH!
Post by: Yoink on May 09, 2020, 05:06:03 pm
MAYBE MAKE A START ON CREATING NEW, EXTRA-SMART BATCH OF POTENTIAL CANDIDATES, TOO
IF WE ATTACKED BY ANY FLYING LASER-SHOOTING HATS, I WILL UNPLUG MY HEADPHONES, REMOVE CD AND PLACE SAFELY ASIDE, THEN HOLD DISCMAN IN ONE HAND, SPIN AROUND ONCE OR TWICE WITH BEAUTIFUL FORM BEFORE LETTING GO, LAUNCHING IT LIKE A DISCUS OF DESTRUCTION AT ATTACKER
SOMETIMES SACRIFICES MUST BE MADE
Post by: Enemy post on May 09, 2020, 08:33:09 pm
use my toes to preform the somatic components of the spell to regrow my arms
6
You furiously wiggle your toes, substituting their motions for the recommended hand gestures. It works all too well. You regrow your arms, but then feel yourself getting taller. Your spine extends, and an array of extra arms explodes from your sides, leaving you looking like a giant reptilian humanoid skeletal centipede.
Walk in with my entire horde and try to run for mayor in Water tank.
3
The guards at Water Tank's gate accuse your horde of blank-faced humans, chupacabras, clowns, and a single catgirl of being a cult. However, you manage to convince them that you are in fact a rich cult, and then they let you in to buy water.
There is a mayoral election going on, but your horde runs into a complication upon trying to vote you in. It turns out that Water Tank's town laws state that only those who own one of several significant properties in Water Tank may run for political office.
run towards the chimera and try to ride it.
2
You burst from cover and try to swing onto the chimera's back. Before you can get there, the goat head on its back notices you and forces you to retreat with its snapping jaws. The chimera is aware of you know, and prepares for a pounce.
oh cool, books. Maybe we can learn what that guy was on about, and whether that mist would have stopped our minds or just added knowledge6
Read as many books of fell knowledge as I can. Knowledge is power, after all
4Gunthar, care to read with me? Might as well read what you crashed into, right? Maybe there’s healing magic in one of these
(https://imgur.com/L7HV3h1.png)
GUNTHAR sniffs, picking himself up from his state of triumphant disarray.
"GUNTHAR HORNHELM has no need for fell knowledge, HONORED COMPATRIOT-- GUNTHAR reads only the runic sagas of those MIGHTY WARRIORS who came before him! Thus GUNTHAR is inspired to ever greater DEEDS of GLORIOUS WARFARE!"
"Study the unsavory ways of our slaughtered foe if you will. GUNTHAR goes to purge this tower for his own!"
And with that, GUNTHAR begins his heroic wanderings of the tower he now finds himself in, seeking to ensure in violent fashion that NAUGHT REMAINS for FRIEND JOSHUA to AVOID EYE CONTACT WITH!
Did the wizard left his clothes upon dying? If so, clean them and put them on as a disguise.6
Regardless of the outcome (sans crit failure, I guess), carefully and stealthily search for milk in the tower, avoiding eye contact with the inhabitants when possible.
As GUNTHAR takes a moment to recover, Rana and Joshua loot the fallen Follower of the Symbol's room. Joshua cleans, mends, and puts on his uniform, while Rana steps over to the broken bookshelf. "oh cool, books. Maybe we can learn what that guy was on about, and whether that mist would have stopped our minds or just added knowledge" She picks up a book and flips open the cover. "Gunthar, care to read with me? Might as well read what you crashed into, right? Maybe there’s healing magic in one of these"
Joshua leaves the room for some stealthy scouting, while GUNTHAR stands up from the pile. "GUNTHAR HORNHELM has no need for fell knowledge, HONORED COMPATRIOT-- GUNTHAR reads only the runic sagas of those MIGHTY WARRIORS who came before him! Thus GUNTHAR is inspired to ever greater DEEDS of GLORIOUS WARFARE!"
"Study the unsavory ways of our slaughtered foe if you will. GUNTHAR goes to purge this tower for his own!"
GUNTHAR charges out of the room, and Rana begins to read.
"Chapter I:What is Acceptable, and what is Not."
"There are many things in the planes, now. They were not always here, but they have risen. They are things of Chaos. Of Will. Of Intention. They are not Acceptable. From Intention comes Will, and from Will comes Chaos. Chaos brings destruction, as the Milk Conflicts so truly prove. We of what is often called the "Eldritch Plane" are the end of Chaos, because we are the end of Will, because we are the end of Intention. The madnesses we bring shall make everyone Acceptable. No more shall Chaos reign. We shall bring the last dance, a dance of joy, of murder, and finally of silence. The minds and stars shall die, and the cosmos shall ever after be a thing of order again...
Rana."
With that, there is a flash of yellow light and screaming tentacles begin spilling from the pages.
Elsewhere, Joshua is exploring the lower sections of the tower. He reaches a vault with a carving of milk on the stone door, guarded by several cultists wielding scythes. They cross their weapons when you approach and demand a passcode. As he considers what to say, GUNTHAR heroically LEAPS into the room and VANQUISHES the guards. As they fall, they cry out in inhuman tones. A bronze door falls over the vault to protect it, and you can hear the sound of more guards approaching from upstairs.
RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN
2
You leap up and run as quickly as you can, stumbling in the snow, kicking up a cloud behind you, and finally leap into the air and bellyflop in the direction of your TARDIS.
At that point, your guard places a hand on your shoulder to stop you. He'd have done more, but you're still tied to the porcelain shard.
"Wha- PUT ME DOWN YOU MISSSSHAPEN MONGREL MISSSSSSSCREANT-" Ssarscel proceeds to launch a deluge of invective at their captor, struggling against it, trying to identify what the hell it is, so on, and such forth.
Mainly, we wants to get down to the ground safely.
1
You struggle and try to identify the creature, but it doesn't help. It almost looks like several different creatures merged into one. It flies you up to the top of a nearby building, where it drops you into a nest made of sticks. Inside are several dog-sized masses of organs and limbs. The creatures haven't noticed you yet, as they are busily dissecting the remains of a captured sewer clown, picking out favored pieces and incorporating them into their own forms.
"I can make this thing work."
Drive it to Washington D.C. so I can see if there is any government left.
3
You get into your new car and drive to Washington DC. As you enter the capital wasteland, you find yourself facing a threat unlike any you have ever faced before. Washington DC's roads (https://i.imgur.com/v0D4TRr.png) stretch out before you like a maze (https://cdn.britannica.com/05/70005-050-3396A355/city-Washington-DC.jpg). (-1 on all checks to navigate in Washington DC.)
On one giant purple hand he is pretty close to his totally not nefarious goal of reaching the mountain, on the other giant deformed purple hand saving people will make the audience like him more as a character...1
Juainos flies to the rescue of Ukulele person, wildly shooting lasers from his Flying Salsa
TRY AGAIN TO TRAIN THE SMARTEST OF MY HYBRID OFFSPRING TO ACT AS SCOUTS, IF NOT FULL-BLOWN SPIES6
MAYBE MAKE A START ON CREATING NEW, EXTRA-SMART BATCH OF POTENTIAL CANDIDATES, TOO
IF WE ATTACKED BY ANY FLYING LASER-SHOOTING HATS, I WILL UNPLUG MY HEADPHONES, REMOVE CD AND PLACE SAFELY ASIDE, THEN HOLD DISCMAN IN ONE HAND, SPIN AROUND ONCE OR TWICE WITH BEAUTIFUL FORM BEFORE LETTING GO, LAUNCHING IT LIKE A DISCUS OF DESTRUCTION AT ATTACKER
SOMETIMES SACRIFICES MUST BE MADE
5 vs 4, Juainos vs Yoink.
Yoink raises a batch of hybrid infiltrator okapis. While fanatically loyal to the okapi cause and skilled in their work, (and very rapidly maturing) they hold their loyalties exclusively to the okapi people. This may lead to problems if they later judge Yoink to no longer be acting in their best interests.
Meanwhile, Juainos is flying into the area to "rescue" Shaun. A massive gust of wind blows him off course, and the airstrike he intended for Shaun's captors is instead directed at Yoink's okapi town. Several hybrids are killed by the Mariachi Lasers. Even the noble sacrifice of the Discman is unable to stop Juainos' attack.
Post by: Glass on May 09, 2020, 08:42:10 pm
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 09, 2020, 08:44:19 pm
I can just leave, I’m curious what your servant thinks of the material plane. After I know what it thinks of the place, then I will leave
Before leaving, ask the host via thoughts what it thinks of the material plane
What do you think of your exploration of the material plane? Did you like seeing new things?
After getting the answer, leave the Byakhee
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on May 09, 2020, 08:50:24 pm
Post by: The Canadian kitten on May 09, 2020, 09:20:44 pm
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on May 09, 2020, 10:56:39 pm
Grab the worm mutant out of the ground and then fly with it after the thing that took Ssarscel using my totally not angel/demon wings
Post by: darkwarlock3 on May 10, 2020, 12:04:16 am
Post by: Imic on May 10, 2020, 03:35:01 am
I can already see how this could go horribly, horribly wrong.
Post by: ziizo on May 10, 2020, 05:41:37 am
Post by: King Zultan on May 10, 2020, 05:53:30 am
Drive to the capitol building.
Post by: CABL on May 10, 2020, 10:57:18 am
Whatever milk there is in the room, drink the supposedly-life-changing beverage ASAP!
Post by: Superdorf on May 11, 2020, 12:10:22 pm
GUNTHAR readies his AXE against the oncoming foe!
Post by: Enemy post on May 11, 2020, 11:07:47 pm
Desperately try to sneak out of the nest.2
"This is a tad... troubling."6, 1
Grab the worm mutant out of the ground and then fly with it after the thing that took Ssarscel using my totally not angel/demon wings
Things aren't going well for Adam and Ssarscel. Ssarscel tries to sneak out of the nest, but is forced back into cover when Adam yanks the underground creature from the ground, discovers that it's a grasping mass of entrails, tries to fly away, and ends up crashing into the same rooftop while grappling the monster. His guitar is struck in the impact, and releases a single chord and a flash of multicolored light. Percentage roll:33. Adam senses a wave of empowering magic fill the surrounding area. As the only spellcaster, he is the only one here who receives the benefits. Any destructive magic he uses in the next turn will receive a +2 bonus.
(Got pretty lucky on that 1.)
Juainos will boldly help Shaun by "boosting" his performance with the expired EpiPen, everyone knows drugs only have cool science effects in movies! He'll do this by launching it from the Flying Salsa's cannon at high speeds towards Shaun's neck.
3
As the okapis and okapi-hybrids recover, you load the EpiPen into your hat's coilgun and fire it at Shaun from a great distance away. It just misses his neck, but tags the face of one of the dust-creatures that was attacking him. The creature is knocked on its back from the impact, just in time for Shaun to disappear into his TARDIS.
Check all my clothing for what’s in them. If I have a knife of one description or another, cut the rope if they look away for even a moment, and run. If I have some random object or other, try and throw it to distract them, and quietly untie the rope and run. If by some miracle of whichever gods are watching I have a key to the TARDIS, then summon it on top of me in that way that puts the people it lands on inside it.
I can already see how this could go horribly, horribly wrong.
(Roll:TARDIS key), 2+1
By a stroke of luck, you do in fact have the key to the TARDIS in your pocket. You summon it immediately. There are many ways this plan could have gone horribly wrong, but thanks to Juainos’ upgrades, you’re able to pull it off. Your guard nearly makes it inside along with you, but an EpiPen launched by a distant Juainos is able to intercept it. Your TARDIS falls atop you with the door open, leaving you in the control room. You’re still tied to the porcelain, but you’ve made it this far.
oh. Get my horde together and have everyone give all things of value to me and have me buy some random property.
6
You get your horde together, sell all your valuables, and buy a random property in Water Tank. Unfortunately, it turns out that, according to the arcane rules of Water Tank’s aristocracy, the house you spent all your money on doesn’t count as a “Landed Structure.”
travel to that mountain to get what ever rumor i heard about that was there
1
You crawl rapidly out of town on your many arms. Unfortunately, you don’t make it far before some of John’s networked victims spot you and begin running after you. They carry nets, intending to finish your conversion this time.
Suplex the Chimera.
5
In a move that is glorious, brutal, and all but final, you call on the might of T’zzz and suplex the chimera into submission.
The chimera is still alive, though half-buried in the crater you created. However you decide to proceed, it is no longer a threat.
"My god its like they designed the most ass backwards thing in existence just to fuck with me, and keep me from killing the governments still living here."
Drive to the capitol building.
2-1
You attempt to drive to the Capitol, but DC’s roads are too much this time. You find yourself lost within the maze, circling around the National Mall, but unable to approach it.
talk to the Eldritch in the book
I can just leave, I’m curious what your servant thinks of the material plane. After I know what it thinks of the place, then I will leave
Before leaving, ask the host via thoughts what it thinks of the material plane
What do you think of your exploration of the material plane? Did you like seeing new things?
After getting the answer, leave the Byakhee
3
You fling the tentacled book aside, buying a moment for you to speak.
“It won’t matter, Thief Rana. Your designation has not yet been changed.”
You also ask your host what it thought of the mortal world.
“It was...acceptable. I will see more of it. Not as their puppet, and not as yours, Thief Rana.”
You leave the byahkee as it struggles against your control, and it flies out the window at lightning speeds. You are again an orb of light, and the tentacles from the book continue to pursue you.
Get inside the milk room quickly.5
Whatever milk there is in the room, drink the supposedly-life-changing beverage ASAP!
(https://imgur.com/G20CBcs.png)
GUNTHAR readies his AXE against the oncoming foe!
5+1
GUNTHAR SINGS and DANCES to the old sagas as he SLASHES and MAIMS dozens of the Followers trying to capture you both.
Joshua uses the time GUNTHAR bought to break open the vault. Inside is a single glorious glass of milk on a plinth, protected by the Followers as a symbol of something real and pure, a rare and sanity-bolstering thing in this nightmare realm.
Joshua grabs it off the plinth and chugs it. It is a beautiful taste, just like how you remember it from before the Event, but made sweeter by the long absence.
YOU WIN THE GAME!
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on May 11, 2020, 11:18:58 pm
"Ola Shaun, room for uno more? I mean it's not like I saved you from el guarda loco back there or anything."
Post by: Glass on May 11, 2020, 11:28:36 pm
Post by: Superdorf on May 11, 2020, 11:41:39 pm
Capering about upon his plastic shoes, GUNTHAR continues his grand purging of the eldritch tower!
Post by: darkwarlock3 on May 11, 2020, 11:55:51 pm
Post by: The Canadian kitten on May 12, 2020, 02:29:32 am
Post by: King Zultan on May 12, 2020, 04:34:45 am
Screw these stupid roads drive though parks, parking lots, alleys, and anything else that should bypass these crappy ass roads and get me to the capital building.
Post by: Imic on May 12, 2020, 04:35:09 am
ACTIVATE FULL SPEED TOWARDS THE OPEN DOOR OF THE BOOTH! Juainos needs to get in so he can """"""help"""""" Shaun with """"""getting back the milk""""""" since he's too nerd-like to do it by himself properly.Git in, y’pillock, b’fore they fuckin’ marmalize ya!
"Ola Shaun, room for uno more? I mean it's not like I saved you from el guarda loco back there or anything."
Look for something to cut the rope with and do so, then dematerialize the TARDIS and try landing in the doom mug itself, if possible. Fry up some rashers and sausages for Juainos, if there are any.
Post by: ziizo on May 12, 2020, 07:08:41 am
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 12, 2020, 10:48:56 am
Post by: CABL on May 13, 2020, 01:42:24 am
Joshua hears the voice at the end of the vision, "Seek the truth at the mountain, but don't try to cheat it."
Once the vision stops, seek the way out of the tower.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 13, 2020, 08:45:24 am
Post by: Yoink on May 13, 2020, 10:44:47 pm
PIN BLAME FOR THIS HORRIFIC, COWARDLY ATTACK ON EVIL DAIRY QUEEN, GALVANISE TRIBE'S DESIRE FOR REVENGE!
Post by: Eschar on May 14, 2020, 12:23:29 am
(I know the mind is gone, I might be able to use what liquids remain to move the corpse by moving the liquids in ways that force the limbs to move, like hydraulics with blood and cerebral fluid)
Bay12's wonderful imaginative powers never cease to terrify me
Post by: Enemy post on May 14, 2020, 01:51:59 am
ACTIVATE FULL SPEED TOWARDS THE OPEN DOOR OF THE BOOTH! Juainos needs to get in so he can """"""help"""""" Shaun with """"""getting back the milk""""""" since he's too nerd-like to do it by himself properly.6
"Ola Shaun, room for uno more? I mean it's not like I saved you from el guarda loco back there or anything."
Git in, y’pillock, b’fore they fuckin’ marmalize ya!4, 6+1, 2
Look for something to cut the rope with and do so, then dematerialize the TARDIS and try landing in the doom mug itself, if possible. Fry up some rashers and sausages for Juainos, if there are any.
Juainos leaves the okapi village behind, aiming his flying mariachi hat for the TARDIS door at top speed. "Ola Shaun, room for uno more? I mean it's not like I saved you from el guarda loco back there or anything." Shaun raises the TARDIS up a bit and yells for him. "Git in, y’pillock, b’fore they fuckin’ marmalize ya!"
Juainos crashes into the door at Titanic speeds, rolling himself and Shaun down the stairs. The hat is damaged, and Juainos will need to fix it before he can fly again. Shaun cuts the rope against the edge of the porcelain and teleports the TARDIS over into the Doom Mug corpse itself. The dust is blown away as the TARDIS materializes inside. A trickle of liquid is revealed by the disturbance. It seems that the power of the Doom Mug's milk was too much to erase forever. Somewhere buried within, the dust has been converting itself back into milk. Shaun tries to make some celebratory rashers and sausages for Juainos, but it seems like he's fresh out of those.
Escape this madness. Look for a beacon of sanity and get to it, no matter the cost.
2
You run to the edge of the roof while the creatures watch Adam battle the subterranean creature and look for somewhere safe to go. It quickly becomes clear that in Genericville, nowhere is really safe anymore. The patchwork creatures are everywhere here, concentrated primarily on Florence Memorial library.
full throttle with my centipede like body to escape them
6
You skitter away on your many arms, eventually leaving your former neighbors in the dust. When you finally slow down, you find yourself just outside the town of Water Tank. There seems to be a commotion going on inside, and the guards at the door are absent.
Okay. Sell the house to get the funds back to buy a water bucket with water inside (if it's affordable.) THEN FUCKING DROWN ALL NON-NETWORKED MINIONS THERE WITH THE WATER BUCKET. Those who refuse to drown shall be bitten and converted.
5
You all sell the house and use the funds to buy a bucket of water. You've got plenty of money left over as it turns out. Even with Water Tank's customary markups, a single water bucket is only about $200. (+1 on future purchases.) After that, you get your horde together and make your grievances clear to the town by taking everyone captive after first turning the armed guards, lining everyone up in front of their own water, and demanding that they all join or die. The leaders of Water Tank's HOA choose to drown rather than accompany you and your unkempt army, but the rest of Water Tank submits to your infection. You now control Water Tank, people and town alike.
"GOD DAMN THIS PLACE!"
Screw these stupid roads drive though parks, parking lots, alleys, and anything else that should bypass these crappy ass roads and get me to the capital building.
6-1
You crash through anything that gets in your way, breaking free of DC's labyrinthine roads. You slide to a stop in front of the capitol building, ready to hunt down whatever government officials have survived. You get out of the car, crossbow at the ready, and begin exploring the darkened halls. When you reach the Senate chambers, a clanking and coughing sound halts you. You peer around the corner to see the last surviving American politician.
Senate Majority Leader Cyborg Mitch McConnell is pacing behind his old podium, his clawed feet scratching up the floorboards. Legends state that Senator McConnell looked much different during his first 10 terms in office, but he inhabits a new form now. It is a bulky robotic body that evokes some sort of alien skeleton. All that remains of his flesh is a pair of eyes behind a mask, and (rumor has it) a jar of organs protected by his chestplate. He wears a cloak over his shoulders, and carries a collection of rolled-up defeated bills as trophies.
Release the chimera and ride it into the Dairy Queen palace
6
You revive the chimera and ride it to the palace of the Dairy Queen. You're barely able to control the savage beast, but it races through the cursed woods and leads you to a fortress complex at the heart of the woods. A pair of satyr guards try to stop you, but the chimera rips through them and leaps through a bunker window to maul the crew of an automatic ballista. While it's distracted, you could infiltrate deeper into the fortress.
(https://i.imgur.com/G20CBcs.png)
Capering about upon his plastic shoes, GUNTHAR continues his grand purging of the eldritch tower!
1+2
You DANCE and CAPER about the tower as your enemies are BROKEN beneath your MIGHTY AXE. Not all have fallen, but you wander the tower and PURGE most of the Followers of the Symbol from this UNHOLY PLACE. As you work, you hear the sound of your HONORED COMPATRIOT attempting to escape from the BETENTACLED BOOK.
Get out of the room as fast as possible and find a corpse to possess, if successful, help Gunthar with the purging
(I know the mind is gone, I might be able to use what liquids remain to move the corpse by moving the liquids in ways that force the limbs to move, like hydraulics with blood and cerebral fluid)(That's a creatively morbid solution. That's how spiders move their legs, right?)
2
You attempt to escape and find a corpse to hydraulically pilot. Unfortunately, you're too occupied with escaping the tentacles pouring ever forth from the book to focus on that.
Joshua sees visions of a small but rather rocky mountain, and how a lot of people are trying to climb it without any equipment and fail.
Joshua hears the voice at the end of the vision, "Seek the truth at the mountain, but don't try to cheat it."
Once the vision stops, seek the way out of the tower.
3
You experience your vision after drinking the milk as the old man said, and look for a way out of the tower. You're able to explore the tower freely, given GUNTHAR's slaughter of nearly all the inhabitants. From your explorations, it looks like there isn't a conventional exit. The Followers only left on rare occasions, and did so by opening portals to other worlds through magical means. You'll need similar methods to escape. Perhaps the Axe of the Ginnugagap could help here.
WHIP UP SOME NIFTY, RESPECTFUL FUNERAL RITES FOR US TO HOLD FOR OUR FALLEN BRETHREN. ENTER PERIOD OF MOURNING WITH TRIBE.
PIN BLAME FOR THIS HORRIFIC, COWARDLY ATTACK ON EVIL DAIRY QUEEN, GALVANISE TRIBE'S DESIRE FOR REVENGE!
6, 2+1 for preexisting desire for revenge.
After Juainos breaks off his unintentional attack and flies over to the mountain, you consider what to do with the fallen okapis. Ultimately, you decide to cremate them in biers made of fallen leaves, while your blackened ukulele tapes play mournfully in the background. At the end of the funeral, you give a speech to your consorts and hybrid children, blaming the attack on the Dairy Queen and vowing revenge. The okapis seem ready for battle afterwards, but not much more than they were before. Your fiery rhetoric is perhaps symbolized by the actual flames growing around you, as the funeral pyres ignite the forest undergrowth.
Post by: The Canadian kitten on May 14, 2020, 02:27:48 am
Post by: CABL on May 14, 2020, 02:41:12 am
If Gunthar agrees, hop back into the real world.
If not, maybe Rana could help me instead.
Post by: Imic on May 14, 2020, 04:55:53 am
Post by: darkwarlock3 on May 14, 2020, 04:57:10 am
Post by: ziizo on May 14, 2020, 05:29:17 am
Post by: King Zultan on May 14, 2020, 06:13:30 am
Sneak away from the cyborg and search the other parts of the building for a gun and ammo.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 14, 2020, 07:34:24 am
Creativity is very helpful(I know the mind is gone, I might be able to use what liquids remain to move the corpse by moving the liquids in ways that force the limbs to move, like hydraulics with blood and cerebral fluid)
Bay12's wonderful imaginative powers never cease to terrify me
Post by: Glass on May 14, 2020, 08:11:54 am
No escape.
Ok.
Let’s make this quick. Get in there, get out of there with my information, and then let’s never ever set foot in this damned place ever fucking again.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 14, 2020, 08:36:54 am
Ask Gunthar to use his axe to open a portal, then float through it. If Gunthar doesn’t open a portal with the axe, use his body to open the portal and have us jump through, then exit his body once we are through the portal
Post by: Avetruetotheimperator on May 15, 2020, 12:30:22 am
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on May 15, 2020, 10:33:09 am
Strum the D and E Flat strings on my guitar (Mind Dairy and Soul Dairy) to make a song that will make the abominations avoid us.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 15, 2020, 12:25:24 pm
Post by: Enemy post on May 15, 2020, 02:06:42 pm
Superiors and Yoink are keft
Thanks for counting, I messaged Superdorf. Yoink typically prefers to just post an action every so often, so I'm going to update later regardless. In general, I keep pushing on regardless of who's posted, since it's a minimalist game and so people often drop out without warning.
*We're also missing ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES.
Post by: Superdorf on May 15, 2020, 02:25:13 pm
"You would look upon the material plane once more? We must part ways then, HONORED COMPATRIOTS-- for GUNTHAR HORNHELM has business yet in the world before all worlds!"
"Sing for me now, AXE OF THE ANCIENT VOID!"
Having spoken, GUNTHAR swings his MIGHTY AXE thrice over: ONCE against the betentacled book, ONCE to cleave unto the material plane, and ONCE unto the ice and rime of GINNUNGAGAP!
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 15, 2020, 02:46:40 pm
Post by: Enemy post on May 15, 2020, 08:42:36 pm
Alright, time to get some answers! Which means to talk to every "npc" in town.(Hey, welcome back!)
5
You emerge from the restroom of the town bar to find a strange sight. The rest of the bar is gone, shattered by some massive force. Not only that, but all the people are gone as well. There are signs of struggle everywhere, but few bodies and nobody left behind to tell the tale. The limited number of corpses available show bites and blunt force damage.
Now, find a map and find the biggest city in this area and continue onto there while infecting others in the path.
5
You easily locate a map in your new town and consult it to find your next target. Looks like the best one isn't a conventional town, exactly, but it has easily the largest population of organic beings to network. Within reasonable walking distance is the city of Genericville, which has been overrun by patchwork monsters. Alternatively you could keep hitting small towns, but networking the monsters would drastically increase the spread of your infection.
As you consider your options, a familiar-looking giant centipede-skeleton-reptile crawls over Water Tank's wall. A few connection errors indicate that this creature was nearly infected before, but managed to resist becoming part of your consciousness.
"Gunthar, my honorable companion! I would be glad if you could take me to a place nearby the peculiar mountain from my vision... by rending the reality with your axe."
If Gunthar agrees, hop back into the real world.
If not, maybe Rana could help me instead.
Gunthar, open a portal with your axe, we need to leave
Ask Gunthar to use his axe to open a portal, then float through it. If Gunthar doesn’t open a portal with the axe, use his body to open the portal and have us jump through, then exit his body once we are through the portal
(https://i.imgur.com/G20CBcs.png)4+1, 1, 4
"You would look upon the material plane once more? We must part ways then, HONORED COMPATRIOTS-- for GUNTHAR HORNHELM has business yet in the world before all worlds!"
"Sing for me now, AXE OF THE ANCIENT VOID!"
Having spoken, GUNTHAR swings his MIGHTY AXE thrice over: ONCE against the betentacled book, ONCE to cleave unto the material plane, and ONCE unto the ice and rime of GINNUNGAGAP!
not necessarily the material plane, just a plane that’s not this one, thank you
GUNTHAR HORNHELM brutally slays the betentacled book as Joshua and Rana meet up and discuss their situation. GUNTHAR is ripping pages out of the dead book with his teeth and flossing with the severed tentacles when they go to ask him for help.
"Gunthar, my honorable companion! I would be glad if you could take me to a place nearby the peculiar mountain from my vision... by rending the reality with your axe."
"Gunthar, open a portal with your axe, we need to leave"
"You would look upon the material plane once more? We must part ways then, HONORED COMPATRIOTS-- for GUNTHAR HORNHELM has business yet in the world before all worlds!"
"Sing for me now, AXE OF THE ANCIENT VOID!"
"not necessarily the material plane, just a plane that’s not this one, thank you"
With that, GUNTHAR swings the Axe of the Ginnugagap twice more, opening two portals. One leads to his destination, Ginnungagap, the world before all worlds (https://i.imgur.com/L3YaRce.jpg). The other rips open a portal to an Earth, but not the correct one. Rana and Joshua look through the portal and see a bleak realm crawling with chupacabras, moments before massive cathedral-ships rain fire from above. The explosion rushes toward the portal, and Rana and Joshua are forced to accompany GUNTHAR through the Ginnungagap portal to survive. As they leave, the Exterminatus blasts destroy the Follower's tower for good.
GUNTHAR, Rana, and Joshua stand (or float, in Rana's case) in an icy world of raw potential. Snowy peaks tower silently all around them, and in the far distance a fiery realm is visible, a counterpoint to the endless silence behind. In between the two extremes, Joshua notices a high mountain. As fate would have it, here in Ginnungagap is the mountain from his vision.
slither into town and see whats going on
6
You crawl into town and find an awful sight. The same Network that destroyed the settlement you came from has just overtaken this place. Aside from the bodies of a few executed townsfolk, the people here have been absorbed into the network. An infected dog smells your presence, and every drone in the area locks onto you.
Abandon the Chimera and sneak into the throne room
1
You leave the chimera behind and sneak through the fortress. The labyrinthine halls prove difficult to navigate, however. Fittingly, you turn a corner and find yourself being hurled against the opposite wall by an angry minotaur. It stomps forward, eager to finish you off.
"Aw shit he's a robot, I'm not really prepared for this, a crossbow ain't gonna do shit to that thing."
Sneak away from the cyborg and search the other parts of the building for a gun and ammo.
3
You slip away from Cyborg Mitch McConnell and head over to the House Chamber. There, you find the ruins of a barricade set up by the cornered lawmakers. Their dusty skeletons still litter the room, along with many of the people who swarmed them in a desperate search for milk. Although there's no working guns, on the remains of the Sergeant at Arms you discover the Mace of the United States House of Representatives. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mace_of_the_United_States_House_of_Representatives) As you pick it up, laser-spikes emerge from the head. As a symbol of Congressional discipline, this should be an ideal weapon for taking down the cyborg Senator in the other room. You're not sure how much longer the battery will last, however.
Acquire milk and get out of there! Stick it in a few bottles and hide all but one deeper in the TARDIS, for safe keeping. Then, take the remaining one and find Adam, the “Human”.
4, 3+1
You quickly dart out of the TARDIS, sift through the dust, and snatch up some rejuvenated Doom Mug milk before the creatures figure out where you went. You return to the TARDIS with the bottles, hide away all but one, and take the TARDIS to visit Adam.
YOU WIN THE GAME!
Looks like you arrived just in time. When you get there, Adam and the chupacabra scientist Ssarscel are nearly overwhelmed by a horde of monsters on a rooftop in what used to be Genericville. Looks like that city doesn't get a break in either timeline. As you watch, Adam uses his guitar and turns himself, Ssarscel, and all the surrounding monsters invisible, apparently by accident. You then hear them board your TARDIS, escaping the battle.
However, a slopping noise and drips of liquid on the outside of one of your air vents indicates that something else may have stowed away with them.
No escape?2+1 for Shaun's rescue.
No escape.
Ok.
Let’s make this quick. Get in there, get out of there with my information, and then let’s never ever set foot in this damned place ever fucking again.
"What I'm about to do may not end well."3, 70
Strum the D and E Flat strings on my guitar (Mind Dairy and Soul Dairy) to make a song that will make the abominations avoid us.
(Creatures)
3
Ssarscel and Adam have been experiencing a run of bad luck. As Ssarscel looks for a route to the museum, a whooping noise fills the air. As the underground creature continues to latch on to him, Adam strums his guitar. A burst of chaos is released, turning the monsters, Ssarscel, and Adam himself invisible. Given the invisibility, it's hard to tell if the monsters were effected. However, the creature wrapped around Adam releases its grip, indicating success. At that moment, Shaun's TARDIS appears before you and the door opens. It'll be difficult to reach the museum from this rooftop, but the TARDIS may provide a second chance. Adam and Ssarscel are able to rush aboard. However, fleshy noises and squishy impacts imply that something else may have followed you.
Good thing Juainos is aboard the TARDIS to help.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 15, 2020, 08:55:48 pm
Post by: Enemy post on May 15, 2020, 08:56:23 pm
You mentioned a vision, Joshua? I’ll follow you, maybe there’s milk somewhere in the mountain, maybe there’ll be caves
Why are you looking for caves?
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 15, 2020, 08:59:46 pm
it was just a thought, maybe there might be creatures there that produce milk, or maybe milk was hidden away so it wouldn’t be frozen. It was just a thought Rana had, that mountains might have cavesYou mentioned a vision, Joshua? I’ll follow you, maybe there’s milk somewhere in the mountain, maybe there’ll be caves
Why are you looking for caves?
Post by: ziizo on May 15, 2020, 09:03:29 pm
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on May 15, 2020, 09:04:31 pm
Juainos grabs any nearby non-milk liquid and starts tossing it around the TARDIS to reveal the monster.
Post by: Avetruetotheimperator on May 15, 2020, 09:05:07 pm
Post by: The Canadian kitten on May 15, 2020, 09:06:10 pm
Post by: darkwarlock3 on May 15, 2020, 09:41:20 pm
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on May 15, 2020, 09:45:15 pm
"ayayay, loos like we've done it compadres! But first we have to deal with lo monstro invisible, thanks to Adam, I'm starting to think you're not who you say you are you know? With that colorful reality-altering advice you resemble a mui macho Titan."[/b]
"Ah, Juanos, such a jokester." Adam laughed good-naturedly as he put an arm around Juanos's shoulder and pulled him in like a close friend. He then stealthily whispered in his ear "You really want to play this game? I'll rip that ugly, fake mustache off your face and choke you with it you omnicidal
He then snapped his fingers and summoned a localized blast of hell fire and heavenly fire on top of the monster to destroy it.
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on May 15, 2020, 09:48:45 pm
"You're right compadre, that was a broma! Hahahaha try me last time we did this I distinctly remember how I won and you got left in the dust, literally""ayayay, loos like we've done it compadres! But first we have to deal with lo monstro invisible, thanks to Adam, I'm starting to think you're not who you say you are you know? With that colorful reality-altering advice you resemble a mui macho Titan."[/b]
"Ah, Juanos, such a jokester." Adam laughed good-naturedly as he put an arm around Juanos's shoulder and pulled him in like a close friend. He then stealthily whispered in his ear "You really want to play this game? I'll rip that ugly, fake mustache off your face and choke you with it you omnicidalword censored for decency reasons." Moving back to standing normally he added, "But, you're right, I ought to fix my mistake."
He then snapped his fingers and summoned a localized blast of hell fire and heavenly fire on top of the monster to destroy it.
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on May 15, 2020, 10:09:54 pm
(Whispering)"Last time I was dealing with you with both arms tied behind my back. Now, looks like they're both free.""You're right compadre, that was a broma! Hahahaha try me last time we did this I distinctly remember how I won and you got left in the dust, literally""ayayay, loos like we've done it compadres! But first we have to deal with lo monstro invisible, thanks to Adam, I'm starting to think you're not who you say you are you know? With that colorful reality-altering advice you resemble a mui macho Titan."[/b]
"Ah, Juanos, such a jokester." Adam laughed good-naturedly as he put an arm around Juanos's shoulder and pulled him in like a close friend. He then stealthily whispered in his ear "You really want to play this game? I'll rip that ugly, fake mustache off your face and choke you with it you omnicidalword censored for decency reasons." Moving back to standing normally he added, "But, you're right, I ought to fix my mistake."
He then snapped his fingers and summoned a localized blast of hell fire and heavenly fire on top of the monster to destroy it.
Post by: Superdorf on May 15, 2020, 10:30:22 pm
For a brief, awestruck moment-- GUNTHAR is speechless.
The moment soon passes.
"You spoke of a prophesied mountain, FRIEND JOSHUA-- and behold, a mountain! Come: let us seek therein the PRIMORDIAL COW AUĐUMBLA, that we may partake of her SACRED GIFTS!"
And with that, GUNTHAR HORNHELM proceeds unto the mountains, with HONORED COMPATRIOTS beside!
Post by: Imic on May 16, 2020, 02:45:13 am
Post by: Glass on May 16, 2020, 03:52:29 am
Post by: King Zultan on May 16, 2020, 06:32:55 am
Take my House of Representatives mace, and sneak up on the cyborg and beat his head it with it!
Post by: Eschar on May 16, 2020, 07:19:17 am
Take my House of Representatives mace
(Whoops, was trying to copy this for out-of-context thread.)
Post by: CABL on May 17, 2020, 12:14:31 am
You mentioned a vision, Joshua? I’ll follow you, maybe there’s milk somewhere in the mountain, maybe there’ll be caves
"You spoke of a prophesied mountain, FRIEND JOSHUA-- and behold, a mountain! Come: let us seek therein the PRIMORDIAL COW AUĐUMBLA, that we may partake of her SACRED GIFTS!"
"Before we climb it, I should let you know, that the people who were trying to climb the mountain in my vision were doing it without any climbing gear, only with bare hands. So yeah, we gotta do it with our sheer willpower and perseverance."
Climb the mountain with my bare hands, up to the summit.
Post by: Yoink on May 17, 2020, 12:30:40 am
THEN TAKE CRACK TEAM OF MOST BATTLE-READY OKAPIS AND OKAPI-HUMAN HYBRIDS, RETIRE TO SUITABLE FIELD A DISCREET DISTANCE FROM VILLAGE, AND BEGIN TRAINING IN ARTS OF COMBAT AND TACTICS UNTIL WE A WELL-OILED MACHINE OF WILDLIFE WARFARE. MAKE SURE THEY USE HOOVES TO DEVASTATING EFFECT.
ALSO, ONCE EVERYONE BUSY DOING COMBAT DRILLS, SEE IF I CAN USE NATURAL RESOURCES TO WHIP UP SUITABLE WEAPONS FOR THOSE OF US WITH HANDS. HELL, MAYBE MAKE SPEARS OR LANCES FOR BIPEDS TO USE AS THEY RIDE THE QUADRUPEDS INTO BATTLE! HECK YEAH
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 17, 2020, 10:25:16 am
I can float, will I need to find a new body to climb with? Or can I float with both of you?You mentioned a vision, Joshua? I’ll follow you, maybe there’s milk somewhere in the mountain, maybe there’ll be caves"You spoke of a prophesied mountain, FRIEND JOSHUA-- and behold, a mountain! Come: let us seek therein the PRIMORDIAL COW AUĐUMBLA, that we may partake of her SACRED GIFTS!"
"Before we climb it, I should let you know, that the people who were trying to climb the mountain in my vision were doing it without any climbing gear, only with bare hands. So yeah, we gotta do it with our sheer willpower and perseverance."
Climb the mountain with my bare hands, up to the summit.
Post by: CABL on May 17, 2020, 11:45:21 pm
I can float, will I need to find a new body to climb with? Or can I float with both of you?
"The voice in the vision didn't mention anything about flying and such, but I suggest to not risk it and find a new body, so you can climb the mountain."
Post by: Enemy post on May 18, 2020, 02:24:51 am
Shoryuken the minotaur
1
You heroically rise from the ground as the minotaur stomps up behind you, and leap into a spinning Shoryuken! Unfortunately, it seems like your previous injury (perhaps worsened by loudly calling out what you were going to do) slows your movements, and the minotaur simply grabs your arm, leaving you dangling in midair. The minotaur carries you off to a nearby dungeon and hurls you inside to await a time when the Dairy Queen can decide what to do with you.
Alright, retrieve my secret boomstick and prepare for the worst. Seems like monsters, ayylians beyond, or an even bigger bugout has occurred. Consult the CODEX FURTHER as well!
4
You collect your shotgun and thoroughly explore the town. From your investigations and the information in the CODEX FURTHER, it looks like the entire town was overwhelmed, infected, and marched away by some sort of digital virus somehow capable of taking control of organic beings.
Start chasing the skelly centipede and preferably in with the music of the Yakety sax.
escape from the infected(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnHmskwqCCQ)
4 vs 5
Water Tank is thrown into an uproar as Joey Bones is pursued around the town by the converted wastelanders. Benny Hill would be proud of of the display, but ultimately Joey manages to get away and loses the drones somewhere on the outskirts of Water Tank.
"ayayay, loos like we've done it compadres! But first we have to deal with lo monstro invisible, thanks to Adam, I'm starting to think you're not who you say you are you know? With that colorful reality-altering advice you resemble a mui macho Titan."[/b]2+1 for Shaun's 5
"Ah, Juanos, such a jokester." Adam laughed good-naturedly as he put an arm around Juanos's shoulder and pulled him in like a close friend. He then stealthily whispered in his ear "You really want to play this game? I'll rip that ugly, fake mustache off your face and choke you with it you omnicidal2+1 for Shaun's 5.word censored for decency reasons." Moving back to standing normally he added, "But, you're right, I ought to fix my mistake."
He then snapped his fingers and summoned a localized blast of hell fire and heavenly fire on top of the monster to destroy it.
"You're right compadre, that was a broma! Hahahaha try me last time we did this I distinctly remember how I won and you got left in the dust, literally"
(Whispering)"Last time I was dealing with you with both arms tied behind my back. Now, looks like they're both free."
Ask the others where we’re headed, then grab a large blunt object and try to hunt the invisible monsters with the trustworthy as ever Juainos. Send the TARDIS wherever is needed.5
Dive into cover. Or just a corner. It doesn’t really matter much so long as it’s good for cowering in.4
Ssarscel darts into a side room to hide while Juainos invisibly congratulates his team, while expressing some concerns. "ayayay, loos like we've done it compadres! But first we have to deal with lo monstro invisible, thanks to Adam, I'm starting to think you're not who you say you are you know? With that colorful reality-altering advice you resemble a mui macho Titan." "Ah, Juanos, such a jokester." Adam laughed good-naturedly as he put an arm around Juanos's shoulder and pulled him in like a close friend. He then stealthily whispered in his ear "You really want to play this game? I'll rip that ugly, fake mustache off your face and choke you with it you omnicidal
Adam and Juainos are so distracted by their loudly whispered conversation that they would both have failed to stop the monsters aboard the TARDIS if Juainos' good friend Shaun hadn't stepped up and caught the lead creature with a lucky wrench blow across the jaw. The shriek provides enough of a target for Juainos to splash a conveniently placed bottle of Guinness across the invisible monsters, allowing Adam to burn them all in a blast of flame.
Shaun is ready to launch the TARDIS on demand, if his guests have a destination in mind.
"I was hopping for a gun, but this big ass government whoop-ass stick will do."(Recommended listening.) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9G8Uybc4hoQ)
Take my House of Representatives mace, and sneak up on the cyborg and beat his head it with it!
Spoiler: Roll result (click to show/hide)
You weigh your new mace in your hands, and then sneak back into the Senate chamber to deal with Cyborg Mitch McConnell.
You start out by creeping along the upper floors, before making the decision to simply leap down in front of him and greet him with a casual "Hello there." Mitch McConnell turns to you with an ironic air as a set of security robots are deployed from the floor. "Mr. Burt..You are a bold one!" With a chuckle, McConnell orders his robots to kill you. They march toward you with electric staves, but you simply counter with a crossbow bolt aimed at the ceiling. A chunk of rubble thus dislodged crushes the machines. One lingers on for a few moments more before you finish him with a summary headshot from the Mace. Passing by the destruction, you approach Mitch McConnell. A small army of turrets appear from the walls and floors in an instant, but McConnell waves them off. "Back away! I'll deal with this protestor slime myself!" You offer only a calm "Your move" in reply.
McConnell brushes away his cloak and collects several of the bills at his side. "You fool! I've been trained in your "antigovernment arts" by Ron Paul!" With that, McConnell's arms split along the middles, revealing a full set of four arms, each holding a once-promising bill. The blue and green blades of concealed laser swords emerge from within as McConnell enters a fighting stance. "Attack, Burt!" You raise the Mace, ready to take down this last representative of the Government.
McConnell laughs, and his hands rapidly spin. The billswords become spinning discs of light in his grip. Most would be overwhelmed, but you've trained for this moment. A jab from the Mace disrupts his pattern. A few more harrowing seconds dodging, parrying, and a leap over McConnell give you an opening, and you strike one of his mechanical hands from his wrist. Angered, McConnell presses the attack in a blind rage with his three remaining limbs. You keep your head, and McConnell loses another hand for his aggression.
However, even maimed, McConnell is inhabiting an untiring mechanical body, while you're only deerman. He knocks away your attempts at guards, while you struggle just to keep your grip on the Mace. McConnell senses your hesitation, and raises his two remaining billswords in a challenge. At that moment, you draw on the authority of the Mace. Behind you, the ghosts of Nancy Pelosi, John Boehner, Paul Ryan, Speakerbot Zorblax of the 212th Congress, and all the other Speakers of the House rise up behind you and channel their strength into you.
McConnell is unimpressed. "Chosen of the House or not, you must realise:You. Are. Doomed."
You inform McConnell you disagree, with a brutal antler and House of Representatives-backed headbutt that launches the cyborg Senator through the back wall and disarms him of his remaining two billswords. Before you can catch up and finish him off, McConnell skitters away and hops onto a circular motorcycle. Pressed for options, you leap onto the back of one of DC's Giant Featherlizard mutants. You're able to control the creature and pursue McConnell as he flees to Ronald Reagan Intergalactic Spaceport, but along the way the creature's violent movements dislodge the Mace from your hand. It flies away into the DC rubble, but you focus on the chase. When you catch up to him, McConnell pulls out another electric staff and tries to ward you off. Instead, you grab hold of the staff. A few more moments of struggling lead to you being pulled off your lizard and into McConnell's vehicle. McConnell uses his other arm to pull out an antique AR-15 from another hidden compartment, and manages to fire a shot off before the flailing staff causes the vehicle to crash just before reaching McConnell's personal space shuttle.
You are both sprawled out on the ground for an instant, before grabbing weapons and resuming the duel. You get the staff, while McConnell claims the rifle. McConnell fires off another shot, but you're able to knock the gun from his grip with the staff. You land a few solid jabs on McConnell with the staff and even knock him down, but a massive kick to your chest from a clawed metal foot sends you flying and disarms you in turn. You try attacking with antlers and hooves, but it quickly becomes clear that you are no match for McConnell's cyborg body in a fistfight. You take a serious beating, only managing to pry open McConnell's chestplate and expose his heart during the Majority Leader's assault. Furious, McConnell throws you toward one of Reagan Intergalactic's many giant pits. You're able to grab onto the edge, as McConnell picks up the staff to finish you off. However, perhaps the House of Representatives has one last gift for you. It just so happens that the AR-15 landed just within reach.
As McConnell stomps toward you with spear in hand, you fire a clean shot into his organ sack. McConnell snarls and looks at you in shock as his internal workings ignite. Four more semiautomatic shots to the exposed heart rapidly escalate the damage until Cyborg Senator Mitch McConnell finally explodes and collapses into a pile of burning metal.
(Major apologies to George Lucas.)
You mentioned a vision, Joshua? I’ll follow you, maybe there’s milk somewhere in the mountain, maybe there’ll be caves
"Before we climb it, I should let you know, that the people who were trying to climb the mountain in my vision were doing it without any climbing gear, only with bare hands. So yeah, we gotta do it with our sheer willpower and perseverance."2
Climb the mountain with my bare hands, up to the summit.
I can float, will I need to find a new body to climb with? Or can I float with both of you?
(https://imgur.com/SgrKg9V.png)
For a brief, awestruck moment-- GUNTHAR is speechless.
The moment soon passes.
"You spoke of a prophesied mountain, FRIEND JOSHUA-- and behold, a mountain! Come: let us seek therein the PRIMORDIAL COW AUĐUMBLA, that we may partake of her SACRED GIFTS!"
And with that, GUNTHAR HORNHELM proceeds unto the mountains, with HONORED COMPATRIOTS beside!
"The voice in the vision didn't mention anything about flying and such, but I suggest to not risk it and find a new body, so you can climb the mountain."(I'm going to start having groups that travel together share a single roll. That way, groups aren't involuntarily splitting up due to different results. As such, 5 to reach the Mountain.)
For a brief, awestruck moment-- GUNTHAR is speechless.
The moment soon passes.
"You spoke of a prophesied mountain, FRIEND JOSHUA-- and behold, a mountain! Come: let us seek therein the PRIMORDIAL COW AUĐUMBLA, that we may partake of her SACRED GIFTS!"
You mentioned a vision, Joshua? I’ll follow you, maybe there’s milk somewhere in the mountain, maybe there’ll be caves
"Before we climb it, I should let you know, that the people who were trying to climb the mountain in my vision were doing it without any climbing gear, only with bare hands. So yeah, we gotta do it with our sheer willpower and perseverance."
I can float, will I need to find a new body to climb with? Or can I float with both of you?
"The voice in the vision didn't mention anything about flying and such, but I suggest to not risk it and find a new body, so you can climb the mountain."
The three companions set off for the Mountain. They reach it with surprising speed and ease. There are almost no signs of life here, in the creative void before all things. There is not nothing, though. A little, squealing crab-squid spawns from a pool. It looks at the party and speaks. "Dette stemmer ikke. Du skulle ikke være her ennå. Dette er ikke akseptabelt.."
Whatever it said, the creature's body quickly makes a decent host for Rana.
At the foot of the mountain, Joshua attempts to free climb. His first attempt ends in a fall, but he isn't really hurt.
FIRST, KICK OFF A NEW ROUND OF GESTATIONAL PERIODS TO EVENTUALLY SPAWN ANOTHER BUMPER CROP OF MY INCREASINGLY(The sheer horror of your okapi hybrid society never ceases to unnerve/amuse me.)MALFORMEDMAGNIFICENT OFFSPRING. ALSO SELECT ONE OF SMARTEST AND/OR WISEST OKAPI-HUMAN HYBRIDS TO ACT AS TEMPORARY LEADER 'TIL I GET BACK... OR INDEFINITELY IF SOMETHING GO WRONG
THEN TAKE CRACK TEAM OF MOST BATTLE-READY OKAPIS AND OKAPI-HUMAN HYBRIDS, RETIRE TO SUITABLE FIELD A DISCREET DISTANCE FROM VILLAGE, AND BEGIN TRAINING IN ARTS OF COMBAT AND TACTICS UNTIL WE A WELL-OILED MACHINE OF WILDLIFE WARFARE. MAKE SURE THEY USE HOOVES TO DEVASTATING EFFECT.
ALSO, ONCE EVERYONE BUSY DOING COMBAT DRILLS, SEE IF I CAN USE NATURAL RESOURCES TO WHIP UP SUITABLE WEAPONS FOR THOSE OF US WITH HANDS. HELL, MAYBE MAKE SPEARS OR LANCES FOR BIPEDS TO USE AS THEY RIDE THE QUADRUPEDS INTO BATTLE! HECK YEAH
5
Everything you just said is successful. You have a new round of hybrid children on the way, appoint your smartest child, Daughter Leslie, to be chief in your absence, and train your soldiers in improved combat techniques, and the bipedal ones are taught to use their more quadrupedal siblings as cavalry for lance charges. (+1 on combat rolls for all your okapis.)
Post by: Yoink on May 18, 2020, 03:18:21 am
ASSEMBLE THE TROOPS! MOUNT UP ON A WAR-OKAPI, PREFERABLY ONE THAT'S NOT THE FRUIT OF MY LOINS
THEN TROT BACK AND FORTH BEFORE MY MASSED FORCES AND GIVE A ROUSING BEFORE-BATTLE SPEECH FROM 'HORSEBACK', LIKE THE CLASSIC SCENE/TROPE FROM SO MANY MOVIES
THEN LEAD MY OKAPI WARRIORS INTO BATTLE AGAINST THE EVIL DAIRY QUEEN OR LIKE, IN HER GENERAL DIRECTION AT LEAST, I GUESS
OH, AND IF OKAPI CAN'T REALLY SUPPORT MY WEIGHT, JUST DO THE SPEECH PART THEN DISMOUNT AND FOLLOW ON FOOT
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 18, 2020, 04:16:48 am
Post by: ziizo on May 18, 2020, 07:35:22 am
Post by: King Zultan on May 18, 2020, 07:48:46 am
Burt then strikes a triumphant pose next to the burning corpse and looks around.
"I wish I'd known this shit hole of a planet had a spaceport earlier, I can use one of these ships to go home, but first I'm gonna go back to the capital and see what kind of crap they were hiding from people, to use the stuff there to fuck up any other remaining governments, and maybe find that mace I lost on the way back."
But before all of that search the spaceport for a first aid kit and heal myself with it, as I'm assuming getting kicked by a big ass robot is harmful to my health.
Post by: The Canadian kitten on May 18, 2020, 01:35:03 pm
Post by: Glass on May 18, 2020, 04:53:56 pm
"...are- are we ssssssafe? I'm not going to be killed by Blaze-knowssssss-what?"
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on May 18, 2020, 05:16:52 pm
Post by: Imic on May 18, 2020, 06:04:21 pm
Post by: Glass on May 18, 2020, 06:26:35 pm
"I have been ssssssearching for information on the molecular ssssstructure of milk, sssuch that I could reproduccce the material and do repairssss to the infrassstructure around here. And become very rich, of courssssse, but that issss more of a sssside benefit. Would either of you know of ssssssomeplacccce elssssssse where we might be able to continue that sssearch? Becausssse I refusssse to remain here."
Post by: Imic on May 18, 2020, 07:02:16 pm
Give Ssarscel some of the stashed away Doom Milk.
B’t if yer sure y’ don’ wan’ t’ do it here, aye’m sure we c’n fin’ somewhere else t’do it.
Post by: Glass on May 18, 2020, 08:14:46 pm
Ssarscel takes a moment to process the new development before his eyes go wide, and he scurries off to figure out if the odd... whatever that he's currently in has any research implements.
If possible, study the Doom Milk. I must find out how to fabricate it!
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on May 18, 2020, 08:48:01 pm
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on May 18, 2020, 09:32:52 pm
"Regardless of personal feelings... fixing Genericville is something we need to do.""Why don't you use your fancy guitar to do that cabron? It should be easy since it's made from Los Leites Infinitos. Speaking of elite I am mucho thirsty, pass me a bit of milk Shaun my amigo will you?"
Juainos will glup down on the glass of milk, smirking
Post by: Imic on May 19, 2020, 03:54:46 am
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on May 19, 2020, 07:23:58 am
Post by: CABL on May 19, 2020, 07:38:47 am
Post by: Imic on May 19, 2020, 07:52:23 am
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on May 19, 2020, 10:52:35 am
Post by: Imic on May 19, 2020, 12:38:04 pm
Post by: darkwarlock3 on May 19, 2020, 04:52:42 pm
Post by: Superdorf on May 19, 2020, 08:42:47 pm
In accordance with his fellows, GUNTHAR begins his GLORIOUS ASCENT!
Post by: Enemy post on May 19, 2020, 11:32:09 pm
BRILLIANT. JUST BRILLIANT.
ASSEMBLE THE TROOPS! MOUNT UP ON A WAR-OKAPI, PREFERABLY ONE THAT'S NOT THE FRUIT OF MY LOINS
THEN TROT BACK AND FORTH BEFORE MY MASSED FORCES AND GIVE A ROUSING BEFORE-BATTLE SPEECH FROM 'HORSEBACK', LIKE THE CLASSIC SCENE/TROPE FROM SO MANY MOVIES
THEN LEAD MY OKAPI WARRIORS INTO BATTLE AGAINST THE EVIL DAIRY QUEEN OR LIKE, IN HER GENERAL DIRECTION AT LEAST, I GUESS
OH, AND IF OKAPI CAN'T REALLY SUPPORT MY WEIGHT, JUST DO THE SPEECH PART THEN DISMOUNT AND FOLLOW ON FOOT
4+1
You pick up a lance, mount up on a trained war-okapi, making sure not to pick one of your hybrid children, and ride out to address your gathered okapi warriors. The bipeds are mounted on the quadrupeds, as you requested. They look into the darkness of their former master's forest with apprehension, and a horde of mythical creatures and glowing eyes approach in the distance. Time for a speech.
"Hold your ground, hold your ground! Sons of me! Of the Congo! My okapis! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of Okapi fails, when we forsake our friends, and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day! An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the Age of Okapi comes crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand, Okapis of the Forest! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXGUNvIFTQw)
The inspired okapi army rears up, chuffing mightily, and charges against the mythic horde behind you. First blood goes to you, as a wereleopard is speared on your lance. You and your okapi army press the attack against the Dairy Queen. Along the way, detachments of your troops break into cages and farming camps belonging to the Dairy Queen, freeing still more okapis to join your growing force. By the end of the charge, you see the Dairy Queen's personal fortress before you. Her troops are pulling back, preparing for a siege.
Wait, isn't the space between the bars a bit too long or is just my imagination?. Try to walk between the Dungeon/Prison bars.
1
You notice that the bars on your cell seem a bit too wide and attempt slipping out through the gaps. Outside your window, you hear the distant sounds of battle as something assaults the Dairy Queen's fortress. After a great deal of effort, you manage to slip through the bars. However, you find yourself back on the tiled floor of your cell. Looks like you can't actually get out that way due to a bit of portal trickery by the Dairy Queen. Apparently, she just likes dangling that little bit of hope before her prisoners. As you search for an alternate exit, a troop of royal satyr guards enter the cell, followed by the Dairy Queen herself. A carpet is rolled out before her, preventing her from having to actually touch the floor of her cell.
"Ah, Mr. Adam Smith. Perhaps it's a shame we could not have met under better circumstances. I would have liked to have you flayed alive and fed to the Unicorn for showing the temerity to attempt to steal from me. As it stands, we do not have time for such diversions. I extend this offer once. My lands are currently under siege by a band of revolting okapis. Serve me in destroying them, and I shall grant you a small sample from my milk vaults. Refuse...well, the unicorn does need feeding after all."
"Hell yeah I killed him, and I finally got a gun!"
Burt then strikes a triumphant pose next to the burning corpse and looks around.
"I wish I'd known this shit hole of a planet had a spaceport earlier, I can use one of these ships to go home, but first I'm gonna go back to the capital and see what kind of crap they were hiding from people, to use the stuff there to fuck up any other remaining governments, and maybe find that mace I lost on the way back."
But before all of that search the spaceport for a first aid kit and heal myself with it, as I'm assuming getting kicked by a big ass robot is harmful to my health.
6
After collecting your new assault rifle, you go looking for a first aid kit to heal the various wounds induced by taking a massive metal talon to the chest. After a while, you locate a still somewhat functioning medical terminal back inside the Capitol Building's ruins. However, it looks like it's malfunctioning. If you use it, it will most likely treat your wound, but there's a chance it could make things worse in the attempt.
Darn it. Time to turn Genericville into my personal army!
1
Shrugging your collective shoulders, you leave Joey Bones and march for the bigger prize of conquering Genericville.
Your first attempt goes disastrously. The patchwork monsters quickly rout your outnumbered drones and kill many of them. After you retreat and regroup, you check through your hosts and realize that that your original body in the battle was one of the casualties torn apart and redistributed by the monsters. You don't really need it anymore as long as you've got your Network, but it's still unfortunate.
Ssarscel cautiously pokes his head out from behind his hiding place.
"...are- are we ssssssafe? I'm not going to be killed by Blaze-knowssssss-what?"
"So what is el plano now compadros?"
Aye was waitin’ for youse to come up wit’ some’in.
Ssarscel gets up and dusts himself and his labcoat off. This does not put a noticeable dent into the stains it has accumulated over the course of the trip.
"I have been ssssssearching for information on the molecular ssssstructure of milk, sssuch that I could reproduccce the material and do repairssss to the infrassstructure around here. And become very rich, of courssssse, but that issss more of a sssside benefit. Would either of you know of ssssssomeplacccce elssssssse where we might be able to continue that sssearch? Becausssse I refusssse to remain here."
Ah sure, they’re probably gone. If it’a milk y’ want, than y’ can have some a’ mine.
Give Ssarscel some of the stashed away Doom Milk.
B’t if yer sure y’ don’ wan’ t’ do it here, aye’m sure we c’n fin’ somewhere else t’do it.
"..."3+1
Ssarscel takes a moment to process the new development before his eyes go wide, and he scurries off to figure out if the odd... whatever that he's currently in has any research implements.
If possible, study the Doom Milk. I must find out how to fabricate it!
"Regardless of personal feelings... fixing Genericville is something we need to do."
"Why don't you use your fancy guitar to do that cabron? It should be easy since it's made from Los Leites Infinitos. Speaking of elite I am mucho thirsty, pass me a bit of milk Shaun my amigo will you?"6
Juainos will glup down on the glass of milk, smirkingsmugly at Adamin satisfaction as he does it. If he doesn't get any he'll just wait till they find some more and """"help"""" the chupathingie with studying the milk.
... Aye thought Aye hid those. Don’ be doin’ that now, there’s only so much a’ th’ stuff.
"My guitar is... difficult to control. It was a last resort weapon to try and stop Thainos, so it doesn't really work for specific tasks. Also, give all the milk to Ssarscel, he can make more, and then we can have it.
Give Ssarscel almost all the milk, quietly leaving the most well hidden stash as a backup.1
Begin working on a method to fix genericville.5+1
Assist Adam, it was Sheáwn’s home for a long time after he emigrated.4
(Didn't make you roll for just handing milk to each other.)
In the TARDIS, Adam, Ssarscel, Shaun, and their ever trustworthy friend Juainos discuss their next move.
Ssarscel cautiously pokes his head out from behind his hiding place.
"...are- are we ssssssafe? I'm not going to be killed by Blaze-knowssssss-what?"
"So what is el plano now compadros?"
"Aye was waitin’ for youse to come up wit’ some’in."
Ssarscel gets up and dusts himself and his labcoat off. This does not put a noticeable dent into the stains it has accumulated over the course of the trip.
"I have been ssssssearching for information on the molecular ssssstructure of milk, sssuch that I could reproduccce the material and do repairssss to the infrassstructure around here. And become very rich, of courssssse, but that issss more of a sssside benefit. Would either of you know of ssssssomeplacccce elssssssse where we might be able to continue that sssearch? Becausssse I refusssse to remain here."
"Ah sure, they’re probably gone. If it’a milk y’ want, than y’ can have some a’ mine."
Shaun gives Ssarscel a bottle of Doom Mug milk.
"B’t if yer sure y’ don’ wan’ t’ do it here, aye’m sure we c’n fin’ somewhere else t’do it."
"..."
Ssarscel takes a moment to process the new development before his eyes go wide, and he scurries off to figure out if the odd... whatever that he's currently in has any research implements.
"Regardless of personal feelings... fixing Genericville is something we need to do."
"Why don't you use your fancy guitar to do that cabron? It should be easy since it's made from Los Leites Infinitos. Speaking of elite I am mucho thirsty, pass me a bit of milk Shaun my amigo will you?"
"... Aye thought Aye hid those. Don’ be doin’ that now, there’s only so much a’ th’ stuff."
"My guitar is... difficult to control. It was a last resort weapon to try and stop Thainos, so it doesn't really work for specific tasks. Also, give all the milk to Ssarscel, he can make more, and then we can have it.
After that, the four begin working on their various tasks. Shaun gives most of his milk supply to Ssarscel and hides the last bottle as best he can. Ssarcel begins studying the Doom Milk, looking for a means of recreating it. Juainos walks over to "assist" him. At first, his advice is of dubious quality, almost as if he was trying to sabotage the project. However, Juainos understands the material almost as if he's handled it before, and inadvertently gives Ssarscel the advice necessary to make a breakthrough and gain an understanding of the near-impossible chemical structure of the Doom Milk. With trepidation, Ssarscel activates the TARDIS' food machine.
A single glass of Doom Milk is successfully poured out, before the volatile nature of the Doom Milk burns out the food machine. Ssarscel has learned to produce Doom Milk, but the process is dangerous and burns out any replicator used for the purpose after making a small amount. Perhaps if you had a more complete understanding of the other Infinity Milks, he could mass produce an infinite supply of milk. Anyway...
You win the game!!!
Meanwhile, Adam and Shaun collaborate on a plan to fix Genericville. Drawing on Shaun's local knowledge and Adam's seemingly millennia of experience with human societies
One key point remains however, aside from the issue of the monsters. Various points of the plan require a steady and reliable supply of milk.
The vision might have only occurred to me, but we are all in this together. Work as a team to climb the mountain.6+1
While climbing with the group, look through the mind of my host to learn what “Dette stemmer ikke. Du skulle ikke være her ennå. Dette er ikke akseptabelt..” means4
(https://imgur.com/mmzCVwm.png)
In accordance with his fellows, GUNTHAR begins his GLORIOUS ASCENT!
GUNTHAR, Rana, and Joshua climb the mountain as a team. The First Avalanche crashes down toward them as they climb, but thankfully Rana was already keeping an eye out for caves. The trio dodges within as the snow crashes down. As the snow rains past the entrance, they find themselves at the mouth of a stone tunnel, uncut by any pick or the claws of any beasts. Giant crystals light this primordial cavern with a faint white glow. The tunnel leads on into darkness.
One sign of life provides the first clue that this primordial land is not barren. A cave painting of a single hornless cow licking salty stones.
As a side note, Rana mentally questions her host about the meaning of its statement. Roughly translated, it is Norwegian for "This isn't (right/true?). You shouldn't be here yet. This isn't Acceptable."
start reinforcing my body with strange skele magic
2
You attempt to reinforce your body with skele magic, but it doesn't take. Strange skele magic was never your best class in skele school.
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on May 19, 2020, 11:42:29 pm
Post by: darkwarlock3 on May 19, 2020, 11:57:35 pm
Post by: Superdorf on May 20, 2020, 12:42:06 am
Gunthar approaches the painting, reaching out to touch it with creaky fingers.
"The cow Auðumbla."
For once, there's no madness in his voice.
...
"...come, friends. Let us discover together where this pass may lead."
And turning, raising the incandescent Axe of Ginnungagap as a torch before him, Gunthar proceeds into the yawning tunnel.
Post by: ziizo on May 20, 2020, 07:30:01 am
Post by: Glass on May 20, 2020, 07:34:08 am
“I’ve done it! I’ve done it!”
In fact, he’s running down the halls, carefully-sealed milk bottle in hand.
“I made milk! It burnssss out fabricatorsss when made, but we can make more of thosssse! It’ssss proper fucking milk!”
Post by: King Zultan on May 20, 2020, 08:03:17 am
Go into the bunker under the capital building and search it for medical stuff that looks less broken.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 20, 2020, 10:22:00 am
What must one do for it to be Acceptable to be here?
Post by: The Canadian kitten on May 20, 2020, 01:20:45 pm
Post by: Avetruetotheimperator on May 20, 2020, 02:16:36 pm
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on May 20, 2020, 02:38:18 pm
Post by: CABL on May 20, 2020, 11:35:24 pm
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on May 21, 2020, 09:02:10 am
Ssarscel isn’t listening.
“I’ve done it! I’ve done it!”
In fact, he’s running down the halls, carefully-sealed milk bottle in hand.
“I made milk! It burnssss out fabricatorsss when made, but we can make more of thosssse! It’ssss proper fucking milk!”
"Good... we're going to need a lot more of it."
Use the Tardis scanner and our milk sample and my guitar's connection to the infinity daries to try and find more of them.
"By the way, how opposed are you to having us milk a chupacabra? Cause we're going to need it.
Post by: Imic on May 21, 2020, 05:57:58 pm
Post by: Enemy post on May 22, 2020, 02:27:12 am
go find a graveyard
3+1 for apocalypse.
Thanks to the enormous death toll caused by Thainos' actions, you find it very easy to locate a mass grave. After only a few minutes, you locate an open pit filled with dry skeletons.
(https://imgur.com/fZATKOO.png)
Gunthar approaches the painting, reaching out to touch it with creaky fingers.
"The cow Auðumbla."
For once, there's no madness in his voice.
...
"...come, friends. Let us discover together where this pass may lead."
And turning, raising the incandescent Axe of Ginnungagap as a torch before him, Gunthar proceeds into the yawning tunnel.
Follow Gunthar and be prepared to use my flashlight in the case of the light source going out.
Follow Gunthar. While doing so, ask my host the following2
What must one do for it to be Acceptable to be here?
6
Gunthar, Joshua, and Rana wander deeper into the primordial caverns. Using their connected minds to take care of translation, Rana communicates with her host and asks it how to make oneself Acceptable. The creature is less than helpful. "Be quiet. Be orderly. Stop being out of place. Serve our interests. We had so much planned for the silence. How are you here so early? It is not yet your eon, or even your cycle." After some time, the party comes across an underground pool. Its surface is utterly still and mirrored. Stalactites hang from the ceiling above. Oddly, their counterparts in the pool are perfectly smooth and free of the real stalactites’ imperfections.
Accept the deal and charge at the Okapi hordes.
4
"Very good. I had hoped you would be a wise mortal. Serve me well, and great rewards shall be yours. To start, your chimera has been moved back to the gates. Feel free to keep him, I can always summon more."
With that, the Dairy Queen returns to her throne room. One of her satyr guards stays behind, escorts you to your chimera, and provides you with a lance. You charge out from the gates alongside a wave of the Dairy Queen's mythical creatures and impale one of the okapi-human hybrids. Another leaps at you from the trees, but the goat head roasts it alive with a breath of flame.
"I guess the mace is long gone oh well, and man that medic thing looks sketchy as hell, there's bound to be another one in this place."
Go into the bunker under the capital building and search it for medical stuff that looks less broken.
3+1 for continued trying/I didn't intend this to be a big deal.
You continue to search the Capitol and eventually locate a fully functional medical terminal. A few minutes later and the machine announces that your recent trauma has been cured, along with a malignant tumor you didn't even know about. You make sure to take a moment of silence to honor the tax dollars stolen from the People to create this machine before you move on.
Crap. Let just raid the smaller settlements first.
6-1
You decide to take some time to conquer the surrounding area before you attempt raiding Genericville again. It goes astonishingly well. The villagers put up little effective resistance, and your Network rapidly swells with enough new recruits to make up for your previous losses. One town even had a collection of technicals (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Technical_(vehicle)) in storage, which should help in the battle to come.
Alright, look up at the quest gu-wait this is not my way! Wander around and fight until I discover the location where they were taken too.
2
You decide to go dungeon crawl at random. Hopefully you can find the plot that way. You clear out a nest of sewer clowns, but it doesn't seem relevant to the story this time and their loot was just a bit of vendor trash.
"Hmm si, el leite seems to be made out of milk. Maybe we can use las propriedes subrenaturais of the milk to find the Infinity Dearies and maybe recreate la Luva Ilimitada? Just throwing it out there compadre."
Juainos attempts to "fix" the fabricators5
Ssarscel isn’t listening.
“I’ve done it! I’ve done it!”
In fact, he’s running down the halls, carefully-sealed milk bottle in hand.
“I made milk! It burnssss out fabricatorsss when made, but we can make more of thosssse! It’ssss proper fucking milk!”
"Good... we're going to need a lot more of it."4+1
Use the Tardis scanner and our milk sample and my guitar's connection to the infinity daries to try and find more of them.
"By the way, how opposed are you to having us milk a chupacabra? Cause we're going to need it.
Pilot the TARDIS like the NPC I secretly am.3+1
"Hmm si, el leite seems to be made out of milk. Maybe we can use las propriedes subrenaturais of the milk to find the Infinity Dearies and maybe recreate la Luva Ilimitada? Just throwing it out there compadre."
Ssarscel isn’t listening.
“I’ve done it! I’ve done it!”
In fact, he’s running down the halls, carefully-sealed milk bottle in hand.
“I made milk! It burnssss out fabricatorsss when made, but we can make more of thosssse! It’ssss proper fucking milk!”
"Good... we're going to need a lot more of it."
Saying this, Adam turns to the TARDIS computers and searches for more information on the Infinity Dairies.
It looks like, while you've already got the Doom Milk, chupacabra milk is easier than usual to acquire in this world, and the Platonic Milk might be up for grabs, the other three Milks were unique and destroyed by Thainos. You'll need Delta's scans to recreate those. You'll also need new replicators, as Juainos is saddened to report that the TARDIS's food machines and replicators all suddenly broke for some mysterious reason.
Only one place to go for both replacement replicators and the scans. Shaun mutters "Stay a while, and listen!", takes the helm, and pilots the TARDIS to the broken wreck of the Moloko, still lying where it ultimately crashed on Thainos' unknown world. Skeletons from the final battle poke from the dust all around the ship. The swamp has died, and the dead trees reach for the sky. A few desiccated amphibians litter the Moloko's shadow as well, a silent testament to the potential sacrificed on this world and so many others to accomplish Thainos' balancing of the Universe.
OOC:Next turn will be delayed until the 24th.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 22, 2020, 05:51:15 am
If it’s acceptable, drink the water. If not, try doing what would be acceptable
Post by: Glass on May 22, 2020, 07:06:03 am
“...what, er, iss thisssss?”
Post by: ziizo on May 22, 2020, 07:53:37 am
If I fail to locate the leader just keep killing Okapis until I can make a wall with their corpses.
Post by: King Zultan on May 22, 2020, 08:35:14 am
Search the bunker under the capital building for the war room, then see how many nukes are still armed and ready.
Post by: The Canadian kitten on May 22, 2020, 09:09:20 am
Post by: darkwarlock3 on May 22, 2020, 02:35:30 pm
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on May 22, 2020, 03:35:04 pm
Post by: Imic on May 22, 2020, 05:39:45 pm
Juainos will enter into the depths of the Moloko in search of the schematics of the Infinity Dearies, but not before shifting something to his pocket.If that was the milk I’ll feckin’ marmalize ya.
Explore the Molok and determine what from the actual ship survived and what didn’t.
Post by: Yoink on May 22, 2020, 08:37:06 pm
HURL A SPEAR, AIMING TO SKEWER AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE PESKY HEADS (MAYBE MORE IF ATTACK FROM SIDE), THEN CLOSE IN AND HAVE MY STEED KNOCK IT DOWN WITH A KICK OF ITS HOOVES - OR, BETTER YET, MAYBE KICK THEM STRAIGHT THROUGH FORTRESS WALLS!
"DIE, EVILDOER! YOU SHALL SHARE IN THE SAME FATE OF THE VILE DAIRY QUEEN HERSELF! NO LONGER SHALL THIS FOREST BE OPPRESSED!"
ALSO REST OF ARMY CAN GO ON ATTACKING DQ FORCES, I GUESS
Post by: CABL on May 23, 2020, 05:22:39 am
We should go across the pond, deeper into the mountainous cavern.
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on May 23, 2020, 09:28:45 am
Scan for hostiles.
Post by: Superdorf on May 23, 2020, 12:42:53 pm
"To drink would be dangerous, perhaps... but does this place not spark a certain curiosity in you, friend Joshua?" Gunthar approaches the pool, looking back with a smile. "There is no need now for haste. What wonders might we behold, in the ancient perfection of these waters?"
And kneeling, Gunthar peers into the pool's crystal depths: at his own reflection, and at what may lie beneath.
Post by: Glass on May 23, 2020, 02:29:00 pm
"Welcome to the wreckage of the Moloko. Way too much happened for me to properly explain, but we're here because the on-ship computer made scans of the infinity dairies that we can use to make more milk.""...ah.
Scan for hostiles.
Um, what are the 'infinity dairiesss'?"
Go search for any location from which I could access the records.
Post by: Enemy post on May 24, 2020, 07:46:52 am
Post by: CABL on May 24, 2020, 08:09:28 am
I may not have time to update today.
((No hurrying; take it easy. We understand.))
Post by: Enemy post on May 25, 2020, 02:08:05 am
The axe held by Gunthar, the man in white, can open portals. One of the portals led here. Would it be acceptable to drink the water? If not, what would be Acceptable to do here?6
If it’s acceptable, drink the water. If not, try doing what would be acceptable
"I don't like these stalactites above us. Let us not risk drinking the water and go further instead."4
We should go across the pond, deeper into the mountainous cavern.
(https://imgur.com/6dnW3qt.png)4
"To drink would be dangerous, perhaps... but does this place not spark a certain curiosity in you, friend Joshua?" Gunthar approaches the pool, looking back with a smile. "There is no need now for haste. What wonders might we behold, in the ancient perfection of these waters?"
And kneeling, Gunthar peers into the pool's crystal depths: at his own reflection, and at what may lie beneath.
Rana, Joshua, and Gunthar face the pool. Rana decides to ask her host for advice.
The axe held by Gunthar, the man in white, can open portals. One of the portals led here. Would it be acceptable to drink the water? If not, what would be Acceptable to do here?
"We...do not understand your choices, Thief Rana. You do not submit, yet you spend empathy on our kind. What do you want from us? Do you intend to fight us, or do you intend to serve? If you wish to serve, drown your companions in this pool, incorporate their corpses into your form, and merge with our Mind that we may learn what they learned, and your unnecessary personality shall be purged. That would be Acceptable.
But you won't do that, will you? You will act in a manner that is not Acceptable, and yet you will continue not to attempt to erase us. What do you want? What do you think is Acceptable?"
As they talk, Joshua and Gunthar disagree about what should be done with the pool.
"I don't like these stalactites above us. Let us not risk drinking the water and go further instead."
"To drink would be dangerous, perhaps... but does this place not spark a certain curiosity in you, friend Joshua?" Gunthar approaches the pool, looking back with a smile. "There is no need now for haste. What wonders might we behold, in the ancient perfection of these waters?"
Joshua moves around the edge of the pool and reaches a tunnel on the opposite side without incident. He can leave, if he wants.
Meanwhile, Gunthar kneels and peers at his reflection in the water. His face peers back up at him, ornamented with a plastic and cardboard crown and lined with madness.
As he looks though, he sees deeper. In the pool, Gunthar sees his reflection eventually turn and leave the pool. A ripple stirs the surface of the lake. In the distorted reflections, the mirrored Gunthar meets with many fates. Some are tragic, a fatal fall or a cave-in claiming his life. An abandoned quest and a death in obscurity. A golden fist leaving a world of empty dust, and forging a new one atop the ashes.
Many though are much more hopeful. Gunthar standing on a burning throne, wielding the Axe of the Ginnungagap against countless foes until he is ushered into Valhalla. Serving as the guardian of Auðumbla, standing by her side as the world is born and reborn again. Simply eating a bowl of breakfast cereal with milk every morning in a healed version of his home.
Many more futures besides these are reflected in the pool. The ripples settle and the reflections almost fade. The fading imagery of the pool almost seems to ask him a question.
"What future do you hope to find at the dawn of all things, Gunthar Hornhelm?"
[Processing, processing]
“...what, er, iss thisssss?”
Juainos will enter into the depths of the Moloko in search of the schematics of the Infinity Dearies, but not before shifting something to his pocket.3
If that was the milk I’ll feckin’ marmalize ya.5
Explore the Molok and determine what from the actual ship survived and what didn’t.
"Welcome to the wreckage of the Moloko. Way too much happened for me to properly explain, but we're here because the on-ship computer made scans of the infinity dairies that we can use to make more milk."1
Scan for hostiles.
"...ah.6
Um, what are the 'infinity dairiesss'?"
Go search for any location from which I could access the records.
The TARDIS crew look over the fallen spacecraft.
“...what, er, iss thisssss?”
"Welcome to the wreckage of the Moloko. Way too much happened for me to properly explain, but we're here because the on-ship computer made scans of the infinity dairies that we can use to make more milk."
"...ah.
Um, what are the 'infinity dairiesss'?"
Adam remains behind to use the TARDIS scanners while the others go aboard the Moloko. Adam tries to scan for hostiles, but for some reason all the computer gives him is a massive "HOSTILE DETECTED" alarm centered on Juainos. Must be an error.
Speaking of Juainos, everyone's giant purple friend spends his time exploring the underbelly of the Moloko. He doesn't find the Infinity Milk scans, but he does come across something. A brief stumble over some rubble exposes a glint of metal, and he digs through the debris. Underneath is a golden gauntlet with six empty indentations.
Shaun walks into the ship's main level through a faded "postal carrier" sign left over from some old battle over the cosmetic design just before the Event. An inspection of the ship reveals that it's actually in surprisingly good condition. It looks like the ship was finally brought down by the sudden deaths of half the crew, followed by an attack from Thainos' army of assembled villains that destroyed the engines. The nanobots have also been permanently deactivated due to time and decay, and there's hull breaches and relatively minor damage all throughout the ship. If the engine could be repaired or replaced however, the ship could possibly fly again.
Finally, Ssarscel boards the unfamiliar vessel in search of the ship's records. After finding his way through an oddly large wardrobe of mime apparel and a church filled with Roombas with drained batteries, Ssarscel locates the hallway to the ship's computer core. However, the way is completely filled with a hive of surviving vacuum vermin.
Try to locate the leader and carve a bloody path towards it.
If I fail to locate the leader just keep killing Okapis until I can make a wall with their corpses.
ENGAGE CHIMERA AND ITS RIDER IN SINGLE COMBAT BEFORE IT KILL ANY MORE OF MY CHILDREN
HURL A SPEAR, AIMING TO SKEWER AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE PESKY HEADS (MAYBE MORE IF ATTACK FROM SIDE), THEN CLOSE IN AND HAVE MY STEED KNOCK IT DOWN WITH A KICK OF ITS HOOVES - OR, BETTER YET, MAYBE KICK THEM STRAIGHT THROUGH FORTRESS WALLS!
"DIE, EVILDOER! YOU SHALL SHARE IN THE SAME FATE OF THE VILE DAIRY QUEEN HERSELF! NO LONGER SHALL THIS FOREST BE OPPRESSED!"
ALSO REST OF ARMY CAN GO ON ATTACKING DQ FORCES, I GUESS
Spoiler: Combat rolls (click to show/hide)
The battle rages on. Yoink and Adam Smith identify each other from across the battlefield and charge with lances in hand. Everything seems to go silent for a brief moment as the two rush together.
Then, Yoink breaks from the charge with an unexpected wheel to the side on his mounts twisted legs. A spear flies from his hand and strikes through the head of the serpent tail. The chimera rears up in pain, an opening Yoink's mount uses to kick the chimera to the ground. Adam is knocked down alongside his mount, looking up at Yoink and his monster as they prepare for the kill.
The Dreamer hasn't abandoned his servant yet, however. From the castle comes a joyous whinnying. The Unicorn is standing in the gates, the sun shining off her horn and her long white mane flowing in the breeze. The Unicorn trots in place, signalling a challenge to the okapi army. An okapi partisan immediately charges the Unicorn with spear in hand. The Unicorn waves her mane in the breeze once more, turns as if to run, and when the partisan approaches, snaps out a hoof. The okapi warrior drops to his knees, gagging silently on a burst throat. The Unicorn's perfect white pelt is immediately stained red as she wheels around and chomps eagerly on the spilling blood. Other okapis see the display and charge to defend their wounded companion. Their valor doesn't help. The Unicorn rips the first okapi's head and spine from his shoulders, flings it at the others to break their charge, and then puts her sharp horn to work.
There are no survivors, and no wounds that might grant the mercy of a quick death. The Unicorn hungers.
"Aw yeah back to full strength, now it is time to use the items in this building against the government that created it!"(So at first I was worried, then I was rooting for you, and then I rolled and was just disappointed. Sorry about that result, I wanted to see you nuke something.)
Search the bunker under the capital building for the war room, then see how many nukes are still armed and ready.
1
You check the remains of the war room, but unfortunately it looks like the United States has no nuclear missile supply. Historical records indicate that it used to have one, but the peaceful era of the Earth Alliance lead to disarmament.
Typical Government, dismantling all the nuclear weapons before you can use them.
If there is still smaller settlements to raid then keep raiding. If none left, then march onto Genricville itself.
5
You expand your Network, ensuring that no village is too small to miss their chance to become part of your extended consciousness. After some time, you end up even more powerful than before your ill-fated attack on Genericville. No villages remain, but your army will get a +1 bonus on further mass combat.
start taking the bones and using them to reinforce my body
4+1 for finding the bones.
You work with the skeletons you've recovered, building yourself up into a terrifying amalgamation of bone. You now get a +1 on rolls involving physical strength, and your added connections gives you both the ability to preform skeleton magic and a +1 on your spells.
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on May 25, 2020, 03:53:23 am
Spoiler: GM EYES ONLY YA GITS (click to show/hide)
Juainos delves deeper into the Moloko, but not before reporting to the TARDIS that he found a weird glove but threw it someplace dark and weird instead of using it for balancing or some other evil non-Juainos stuff.
Post by: King Zultan on May 25, 2020, 06:40:18 am
Look around and see if I can access any other long range ballistic or chemical weapons.
Post by: ziizo on May 25, 2020, 07:32:59 am
"Cleansing Fireball"
Post by: Glass on May 25, 2020, 08:00:05 am
Carefully navigate the hallway to the computer core. If the vacuum vermin try to fuck with me, then... um... mime asserting dominance?
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on May 25, 2020, 11:05:42 am
Set the Tardis to fire weapons at hostiles with extreme prejudice. After all, I’m sure ot will figure out
Post by: The Canadian kitten on May 25, 2020, 12:53:04 pm
Post by: Imic on May 26, 2020, 08:38:21 am
Post by: CABL on May 26, 2020, 11:14:44 am
Pull out my flare gun and shoot at the possible intruders, should they appear.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 26, 2020, 12:26:11 pm
Follow Gunthar, if needed, hold breath
Post by: Superdorf on May 26, 2020, 04:49:32 pm
...
"...go on, friends. Gunthar shall-- I shall be along-- shortly."
Gunthar smiles a feeble smile. "Shortly. Yes."
And slowly, hesitantly, Gunthar lowers himself into the pool's crystal depths.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 26, 2020, 08:25:56 pm
Post by: Enemy post on May 27, 2020, 01:42:44 am
"El Guante Ilimitado ... ¿Cuántas vidas y nacionalidades he pasado por buscarte? ¿Cuánto he perdido? No importa, uno menos, quedan cinco."Spoiler: GM EYES ONLY YA GITS (click to show/hide)
Juainos delves deeper into the Moloko, but not before reporting to the TARDIS that he found a weird glove but threw it someplace dark and weird instead of using it for balancing or some other evil non-Juainos stuff.
1
You head deeper into the Moloko, finding youself roughly in the vicinity of the computer core. As you explore, you hear a snap as you carelessly step on a skeletal arm. Moments later, you hear the sound of growls and tentacles brushing against walls as a pack of vacuum vermin approach from nearby.
"..."
Carefully navigate the hallway to the computer core. If the vacuum vermin try to fuck with me, then... um... mime asserting dominance?
4
You start painstakingly sneaking down the hallway. It looks increasingly impossible to get past all the vacuum vermin, but then a snap sounds from elsewhere in the ship and the vermin clear out in search of prey. You quickly take the opportunity and make it to the computer core. It's a decently large chamber, filled with a maze of servers.
Juainos? A hostile? No way. I’m sure this is just a glitch that will sort itself out eventually, but since I’m sure my friends are in danger from something...
Set the Tardis to fire weapons at hostiles with extreme prejudice. After all, I’m sure ot will figure outThainosJuainos isn’t a hostile eventually
(No roll)
You attempt to target all the TARDIS's weapons at
Look busy, contemplate what I’m doing here.
2
You fail to look busy as you sit around contemplating what you're doing here. As far as you can recall, your house ran out of milk, so a large mess occurred until you got some more. Then you didn't have a house, so you went to the Middle Ages and stole milk, messing up that society instead. Then you lived in the distant past for a while, before taking a job as a janitor on a spaceship after working up the nerve to check if the world survived the Middle Ages conflict. Of course, then Thainos destroyed the world anyway, so now you're ferrying Angelo/Diablo, his friends, and the endlessly helpful and trustworthy Juainos around as they look for a means of fixing all the damage.
If you were looking for something to do while you wait, you could always go back and save Lincoln again. You haven't had the power of his hat ever since you reset that timeline, resulting in history returning to its original state.
"No god damn it, no, they destroyed them those government bastards they ruined my plans... at least they're all dead."
Look around and see if I can access any other long range ballistic or chemical weapons.
3
You decide to keep looking around DC. Surely the Government wouldn't get rid of all its WMDs. Your persistence is rewarded. Eventually searching a basement in the Pentagon, you locate a terminal connected to an ion cannon satellite still floating above the remains of the Earth. However, as soon as you hop into the command chair to start picking targets, you trigger an alarm. A pair of turrets pop out of the ceiling and the door seals behind you.
Point at the Leader of the Okapis and call upon my lord T'zzz to cast a spell in the most foulest, dark and eldritch of all Languages: English.6-1 vs 3
"Cleansing Fireball"
Chimera vs Okapi:2-1 vs 4
Okapis vs Dairy Queen forces:5-1 vs 1
Encouraged by the sight of a savage unicorn devouring okapi forces, you turn to Yoink and cast your spell. A Cleansing Fireball blasts Yoink out of the saddle, sending him rolling off into the battlefield. As he recovers, his okapi mutant screams in rage and lunges at your chimera. The two beasts clash, but the okapi maintains the upper hand. Your chimera breathes fire and lunges out with its claws, but the okapi snaps out a hoof and fractures a forelimb. With its mobility broken and the snake head unable to defend it, the chimera is left unable to defend itself. You get away from your mount just in time before Yoink's okapi leaps out and slays the chimera.
Elsewhere, the Dairy Queen's forces are unable to shake the okapis. Despite the growing pile of bodies around the Unicorn, the okapi partisans elsewhere are able to regroup Yoink's forces and press the attack.
March onto Genricville.
4+1
Your army has swelled to greater numbers than before, while the patchwork creatures are still dealing with their losses from the previous conflict. It starts out even, but slowly, surely, the exponential spread of your virus turns things into a rout. One by one, the monsters are added into your Network. You lost most of your human and chupacabra villagers in the opening stages of the battle, but the monsters more than make up the difference. Genericville is yours. The only remaining resistance is centered on Florence Memorial library. The monsters there fight so savagely that even your newly expanded force is unable to penetrate the structure.
One more thing. As the monsters become part of your mind, a few of them quickly disassemble themselves and use their unique biology to reassemble certain recently acquired pieces. Your original body is put back together and returned to the Network.
Just be on guard while Gunthar contemplates himself while looking in a mirror.4
Pull out my flare gun and shoot at the possible intruders, should they appear.
Someone destroyed most milk, the resulting wars ended up destroying many planets. I hope to use the Infinity Milks to create new planets, new life to fill them, to add to the universe. I wondered if blending your plane to the material one would create new things. When I read your book, I realize I agree with some parts, but not others. I agree that the wars brought Chaos, and will sometimes leads to chaos, but will doesn’t always lead to chaos, sometimes will can lead to order too. Maybe the infinity milks can help with removing chaos without removing will. I guess I’m not completely sure what I want, I know I want my companions to be alive. I want to help people, when the helping doesn’t harm anyone. I also know that sometimes harm is unavoidable. We’re looking for milk now. When we find it, I think it will be shared among us, and I’ll give some to you, if you want it. What are you looking for in this plane?2
Follow Gunthar, if needed, hold breath
(https://imgur.com/bQYtYGh.png)1
...
"...go on, friends. Gunthar shall-- I shall be along-- shortly."
Gunthar smiles a feeble smile. "Shortly. Yes."
And slowly, hesitantly, Gunthar lowers himself into the pool's crystal depths.
Gunthar, what are you doing?
Joshua watches closely as Gunthar considers the pool and Rana speaks with her host.
Someone destroyed most milk, the resulting wars ended up destroying many planets. I hope to use the Infinity Milks to create new planets, new life to fill them, to add to the universe. I wondered if blending your plane to the material one would create new things. When I read your book, I realize I agree with some parts, but not others. I agree that the wars brought Chaos, and will sometimes leads to chaos, but will doesn’t always lead to chaos, sometimes will can lead to order too. Maybe the infinity milks can help with removing chaos without removing will. I guess I’m not completely sure what I want, I know I want my companions to be alive. I want to help people, when the helping doesn’t harm anyone. I also know that sometimes harm is unavoidable. We’re looking for milk now. When we find it, I think it will be shared among us, and I’ll give some to you, if you want it. What are you looking for in this plane?
"Perhaps you are correct. Will does not always lead to chaos, but the Acceptable will is our will. Other wills are extraneous. Why would you wish to add to the universe? It has been in stasis. It was already perfect.
...What do you mean by "our plane", "what are you looking for?", and "our book?" We have never controlled a plane. We have always been here. We have had no reason to write a book. What have you seen?"
Gunthar makes a decision.
"...go on, friends. Gunthar shall-- I shall be along-- shortly."
Gunthar smiles a feeble smile. "Shortly. Yes."
Gunthar, what are you doing?
He prepares to enter the pool, but then is interrupted by the sound of footsteps. A trio of squid-headed centaur-crabs enter the chamber and stop upon seeing the party.
"There. These three are the source of the disruption in the eternal stasis of the Void. Perhaps their deaths can mitigate the damage, before things become too Unnacceptable."
With that, the creatures rush forward to attack you. Rana's host, as an accessory to the enemy, is offered no mercy and asks none. However, Joshua's flaregun lights up the cave with a brilliant light and catches one of the creatures in the eye. It stumbles and rolls around on the floor, screeching and attempting to crush out the flame.
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on May 27, 2020, 02:45:14 am
Post by: Imic on May 27, 2020, 04:44:49 am
Post by: King Zultan on May 27, 2020, 05:51:56 am
Get behind some cover and tell the turrets I'm the president, if that doesn't do anything shoot the turrets with my rifle.
Post by: Yoink on May 27, 2020, 06:37:58 am
AFTER (HOPEFULLY) INCAPACITATING HIM, GO SNAP OFF GOAT HORNS FROM DEAD CHIMERA, DUAL-WIELD THOSE* AND CHARGE AT UNICORN!
COME UP WITH ANOTHER WAR CRY AS I GO, I GUESS
* MAYBE FASHION INTO MAKESHIFT SPEAR/WARHAMMER USING OTHER MONSTER BITS IF I HAVE TIME
Post by: Glass on May 27, 2020, 07:21:16 am
Post by: ziizo on May 27, 2020, 09:23:37 am
Charge my lance with Eldricht Energy and launch it to the sky calling an Eldritch Storm to Remove their existence through Lighting Strikes.
Post by: The Canadian kitten on May 27, 2020, 12:11:44 pm
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 27, 2020, 04:20:06 pm
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on May 27, 2020, 10:22:34 pm
Adam began strumming the b (space) string on his guitar to disrupt whatever
Post by: CABL on May 28, 2020, 09:27:31 am
Post by: darkwarlock3 on May 28, 2020, 10:22:19 am
Post by: Superdorf on May 28, 2020, 07:11:02 pm
A brief, broken confusion--
--and then madness.
The AXE of GINNUNGAGAP gives NO QUARTER.
Post by: Enemy post on May 29, 2020, 02:14:22 am
A blue portal mysteriously appears and sends the vermin to the deepest depths of the case, almost as it was like a miracle or a disruption in the space-time continuum caused by a dearie of infinite potential which was recently inserted into an Unlimited hand accessory of sorts. Probably a miracle tho
3+1
In a completely random and unexplainable miracle, the vacuum vermin are suddenly pulled into a random portal into space when Juainos waves his hand. They're space creatures anyway, so it's really a win-win. After that, Juainos suddenly begins to glow with a bright light, for similarly unknown reasons not related to Infinity Dairies.
Why not. Head back and save Abraham Lincoln again. If he asks what’s going on, tell him that the evil Thainos is going to destroy the world, and that there’s only so much time. Then, mime being oulled into the TARDIS by an invisible force whilst bagging him for his hat. Then, head to 1916 and save James Connoly from being shot, try to acquire his uniform and see what happens.
5+1 for experience, 1+2
You take back control of your TARDIS and set the coordinates for 1865, Ford's Theater. Maybe it'll be nice to no longer be in an apocalypse.
As you check your scanners, 1865 doesn't look much like you remember it. A roughly 21st century level of technology is present, and several banners depicting the Holy Grail hang from the buildings. You're in the Holy Grail's society now. Still, perhaps some things are always the same. With a practiced hand, you locate President Lincoln and easily save his life by punching out a far-right terrorist who was about to shoot him for his recent harsh criticism of the pro-slavery rebels who attempted to resist the Grail Regime's global abolishment of slavery centuries earlier. Lincoln is surprised by your apparent familiarity with him, and you easily persuade him to hand over his hat before pretending to be dragged away. Once again, you have the Lincoln Hat and its corresponding +1 to everything. After that, you return to your TARDIS and travel to Ireland, 1916.
Ireland too looks different than how you left it. The technology is noticeably more advanced than the new 1865's, and there are no signs of the Easter Rising. The biggest story of the day appears to be a recently launched expedition to Mars. You track down James Connolly and find him working in his cobber's shop. In a very indirect way, you have saved him from being shot, though getting him to part with his uniform may be difficult.
Look for a terminal, or any machinery that seems to still be functioning. There has to be somewhere where I can get access to all this data that’s stored away.
5
Looking around the room, you find a computer that still seems to be functional. You plug it in, hook it up to another computer's monitor, and download the Infinity Dairy scans onto a holopad. As you collect the files, you get the strange sense that something else has awoken within the ship.
Also, you suddenly begin to glow brightly.
"My apocolypse sensor is tingling. Also my b string is acting up."
Adam began strumming the b (space) string on his guitar to disrupt whateverThainosJuainos was up to.
6, 76
For some reason, you feel like strumming your guitar. Maybe Juainos deserves to hear it for what a good friend he's been. The chaos magic is unleashed and causes you, Juainos, Ssarscel, and possibly other beings in the area to glow with a bright light.
"Why does this place hate me so much, why won't it let me have weapons of mass destruction?"
Get behind some cover and tell the turrets I'm the president, if that doesn't do anything shoot the turrets with my rifle.
5
You leap behind the chair and scream out that you're the President as bullets rip into the chair behind you. The turret's program halts for a moment as it scans through the Presidential line of succession. It first scans for the (long dead) actual president. Not finding him, it scans for the vice president. So on and so forth until it realizes that you're the person who defeated Mitch McConnell. Under the terms of the 28th Amendment, you have just become President of the United States of America. Congratulations!
The turrets retreat into the ceiling and the computer helpfully logs you into the ion cannon's controls.
SCREAM ROUSING, OKAPI-THEMED WAR CRY AND TACKLE MY OPPONENT BEFORE HE CAN FIRE OFF ANY MORE MAGICKS, JAM THUMBS INTO HIS EYES AND HOPE FOR THE BEST
AFTER (HOPEFULLY) INCAPACITATING HIM, GO SNAP OFF GOAT HORNS FROM DEAD CHIMERA, DUAL-WIELD THOSE* AND CHARGE AT UNICORN!
COME UP WITH ANOTHER WAR CRY AS I GO, I GUESS
* MAYBE FASHION INTO MAKESHIFT SPEAR/WARHAMMER USING OTHER MONSTER BITS IF I HAVE TIME
These Okapi Hybrids are a abomination against nature and thus T'zzz.Yoink vs Adam:5 vs 6
Charge my lance with Eldricht Energy and launch it to the sky calling an Eldritch Storm to Remove their existence through Lighting Strikes.
Yoink's mount vs Adam:4 vs 5
Adam Smith vs Okapis:5
Okapis vs Dairy Queen Forces:4-1 vs 3
Yoink recovers from the fireball and charges Adam alongside his mount. Before they can reach their target, Adam stabs his lance toward the sky and unleashes a blast of eldritch lightning. Yoink and his mount are forced to their knees by the blast, which continues into the okapi army. The okapi's charge is halted, lightning blasts stabbing into their ranks as the fairy tale creatures recover. The unicorn forces them forward, chewing off bits of flesh from whichever creatures find themselves at the back of the line.
Sweet! Set up a little kingdom/nation based in Genricville. Have my network only attack the monsters once they decide to come out of the library.
6, 2
Using the existing infrastructure, you build a basic society in Genericville. However, there are problems to deal with. Anyone who's left in the surrounding area knows who you are and plans to either avoid you or seek revenge, and the monsters at the library are performing quick raids to pick off your minions whenever they get the chance.
Fight the attackers3
Shoot down a stalactite, so that it kills one of the creatures or two.4
(https://imgur.com/zI5i60A.png)3+1
A brief, broken confusion--
--and then madness.
The AXE of GINNUNGAGAP gives NO QUARTER.
(Creatures:Attack Gunthar:5)
Rana pounces forward, clawing apart the downed Eldritch creature. John shoots down a stalactite and crushes another. Gunthar is gripped by the throat by the claw of the last creature and briefly strangled before his allies can pull the creature away. Once freed, the AXE of GINNUNGAGAP hacks the last survivor into pieces. A last "...Unacceptable." is muttered, and then silence for a moment.
The black blood of the first killings flows from the broken corpses, heading toward the pool. The walls begin to shake and crack, as if something is crawling in through the walls.
Start finding people to rip there skeletons out of there body and add them to the collective pile that is me
2
Sadly, you can't find anyone to murder. You crawl through several abandoned towns, but it looks like John's Network has abducted nearly all the people in the area.
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on May 29, 2020, 03:40:49 am
Post by: Imic on May 29, 2020, 04:17:24 am
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 29, 2020, 05:16:42 am
((Action is below))
New action
"Looks like a cave-in is incoming!"Follow Joshua and Gunthar
Pull Gunthar out of the lake with my hands and escape the cave before it collapses.
If Gunthar can't move on his own (looking at the lake made him numb, for example), carry him by myself.
We should leave, let’s see what’s past here
Post by: King Zultan on May 29, 2020, 06:37:28 am
"OH GOD I'm the president, I came here to destroy the government but I became the government, I've gone against everything my life has stood for.... What have I done."
Wallow in my sadness for becoming the thing I hated the most, then fire the ion cannon at a random city to see it that makes me feel better.
Post by: Glass on May 29, 2020, 07:22:47 am
Regardless, copy the scans onto as many flash drives as I can to make sure they don’t get lost after all this, and look for the Tardis.
Post by: ziizo on May 29, 2020, 08:25:57 am
Post by: darkwarlock3 on May 29, 2020, 10:12:34 am
Post by: CABL on May 29, 2020, 10:26:08 am
Pull Gunthar out of the lake with my hands and escape the cave before it collapses.
If Gunthar can't move on his own (looking at the lake made him numb, for example), carry him by myself.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 29, 2020, 11:17:44 am
"Looks like a cave-in is incoming!"Follow Joshua and Gunthar
Pull Gunthar out of the lake with my hands and escape the cave before it collapses.
If Gunthar can't move on his own (looking at the lake made him numb, for example), carry him by myself.
Post by: The Canadian kitten on May 29, 2020, 11:26:12 am
Post by: Yoink on May 29, 2020, 07:27:27 pm
GOUGE OUT ITS EYEBALLS
TEAR OFF ITS HORN AND STAB IT WITH IT
GRAPPLE ITS LEGS SO THAT IT CAN'T RETALIATE WITH ITS DEADLY HOOVES
MEANWHILE OKAPIS REGROUP AND CONTINUE ATTACK
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on May 30, 2020, 07:46:23 pm
Post by: Superdorf on May 30, 2020, 08:11:06 pm
"GUNTHAR is not finished with these abominations, FRIEND JOSHUA! Flee if you must! FLEE IF YOU CAN!"
Feeble voice. Yellow clogs.
Rictus grimace.
There will be no retreat.
GUNTHAR HORNHELM stands ready. The AXE of GINNUNGAGAP stands ready.
Let the VOICES-BEYOND-THE-VEIL challenge him if they can.
Post by: Enemy post on May 30, 2020, 09:52:45 pm
Cool he's glowing, maybe this will help Juainos find more stuff to """"Help""""" his friends.
6+1 for glowing.
Juainos uses the glowing light to search the ship for more ways to be helpful. With the help of the extra light, Juainos finds his way to the science deck. There are many abandoned devices here. Plenty of ways for a creative being to be """"helpful""""" here. However, upon entering the room, the doors seal shut and a quiet hissing sounds from the air vents.
Also, the light spell ends, and you feel like you aren't lactose intolerant anymore.
“I’VE Do- What the fuck?”
Regardless, copy the scans onto as many flash drives as I can to make sure they don’t get lost after all this, and look for the Tardis.
6, 5
You hurriedly copy the scans into (roll:3) three flash drives, but accidentally delete the original copy in the process and drop one of the flash drives down a gash in the floor as you head back to the TARDIS. You're certain you found the right place, but the time machine is gone. Adam stands where it used to be, casting some sort of spell. You're not sure what he did, but the light spell fades away on both of you.
Remove the magic bond on the curse between Juainos and I so only he is allergic to milk.
6
Having left the TARDIS before Shaun took it, you cast a spell to break the link between you and Juainos. Unfortunately, you go a bit too far and remove the curse entirely.
At the same time, Ssarscel returns with a pair of flash drives and the light spell ends.
No, he can have peace. Instead, do some research into this alternate past, how it was run, what itk did and was remembered for, etc.(Sorry, I'm not sure what "itk" means. I had assumed it was a historical figure I could look up before I wrote the turn, but I couldn't find anything. I assume it's a typo, but I can't figure out what you meant to write with those letters. I'll ignore it for now and give you a +1 if you want to look into it later.)
6+1
You wander through this alternate Dublin, looking into how the new world was run. It looks like a semi-theocracy controlled by the Holy Grail, which has its headquarters in the Vatican. Semi-theocratic in the sense that religious diversity survives, since while the Grail is openly a major Christian artifact, the Norse gods were sighted on Earth the day it took power and one of its lieutenants is the dragon god of luck. That brings us to the lieutenants. Much of the day to day work of the Grail's empire is run by four powerful entities who helped it come to power and were rewarded with Holy Milk as a result. According to the material you find, they are named Nephalem, Painkiller, Aaron Blaze, and Holy Frankenstein.
Things seem fairly peaceful in this society. The Grail and its lieutenants quickly overtook the world with the enormous advantage of the borderline-all powerful Holy Milk and built a near post-scarcity utopia. Scientific and social development are strongly encouraged, and rumor has it that the Grail is planning to institute free elections soon. From your time in 2219, you know that this is accurate. By the mid-20th century, the Grail and its lieutenants will surrender power to elected human leaders and leave for parts unknown.
((What is itk?))Find an exit to a place we haven’t been and go through it
((Action is below))
New action"Looks like a cave-in is incoming!"Follow Joshua and Gunthar
Pull Gunthar out of the lake with my hands and escape the cave before it collapses.
If Gunthar can't move on his own (looking at the lake made him numb, for example), carry him by myself.
We should leave, let’s see what’s past here
"Looks like a cave-in is incoming!"
Pull Gunthar out of the lake with my hands and escape the cave before it collapses.
If Gunthar can't move on his own (looking at the lake made him numb, for example), carry him by myself.
(https://imgur.com/xwLhmiK.png)
"GUNTHAR is not finished with these abominations, FRIEND JOSHUA! Flee if you must! FLEE IF YOU CAN!"
Feeble voice. Yellow clogs.
Rictus grimace.
There will be no retreat.
GUNTHAR HORNHELM stands ready. The AXE of GINNUNGAGAP stands ready.
Let the VOICES-BEYOND-THE-VEIL challenge him if they can.
Rana and Joshua:4
Gunthar:6+1
"Looks like a cave-in is incoming!"
We should leave, let’s see what’s past here
Joshua and Rana attempt to persuade GUNTHAR to leave as the cavern shakes. GUNTHAR has only one reply.
"GUNTHAR is not finished with these abominations, FRIEND JOSHUA! Flee if you must! FLEE IF YOU CAN!"
With a feeble voice, yellow clogs, and a maddened stare behind a dimension-ripping Axe, Gunthar holds his ground in the Pool. The cavern shakes violently. Rana and Joshua get clear as stones begin to fall from the ceiling. The wall finally bursts and a great dhole (https://lovecraft.fandom.com/wiki/Dhole) lunges out. The Axe of the Ginnungagap snaps out, smashing the beast back against the wall.
The cavern crumbles, and the last sight Rana and Joshua have of Gunthar is as the dhole tackles him into the pool.
Spoiler: For Superdorf (click to show/hide)
Burt sits in the chair messing with the controls of the ion cannon before coming to a horrifying realization.
"OH GOD I'm the president, I came here to destroy the government but I became the government, I've gone against everything my life has stood for.... What have I done."
Wallow in my sadness for becoming the thing I hated the most, then fire the ion cannon at a random city to see it that makes me feel better.
Random city (https://randomcity.net/):Vienna
3
You either die a hero, or you live long enough to become the Government.
You reflect sadly on this for a while, and then blow up Vienna to console yourself. It doesn't really help, but at least the casualty counter does list a few (formerly) surviving Government officials.
keep looking for victims to add to the bone pile that is me
6
You continue to hunt around the wasteland, looking for victims. This time, you do chance upon a major opportunity. A collection of humans, chupacabras, and patchwork monsters are camping out next to a road. While they sleep, you slip into the camp, kill them all, extract their skeletons, and add them to your bone pile of a body. The last one wakes up in time to realize what you're doing, but you kill him quickly. Hopefully there won't be any major consequences to that.
Leave Genricville with the network, and set out to find other regions of unconquered be me.
1
You leave Genericville and the library behind in search of greener pastures. You walk for some time, but you don't reach any major cities to take over this turn. Also, that skeleton-thing kills several of your minions along the way and steals their skeletons.
Adam charges his fingers with Eldritch power and boops the snout of the Okapi mount causing it to violently explode.2
CONFRONT UNICORN IN SINGLE COMBAT BEFORE IT CAN HARM ANY MORE OKAPIS3
GOUGE OUT ITS EYEBALLS
TEAR OFF ITS HORN AND STAB IT WITH IT
GRAPPLE ITS LEGS SO THAT IT CAN'T RETALIATE WITH ITS DEADLY HOOVES
MEANWHILE OKAPIS REGROUP AND CONTINUE ATTACK
Okapis vs Dairy Queen forces:4 vs 4
Adam and Yoink break off from their fight with each other, choosing instead to attack one another's allies.
Adam calls on the power of the Eldritch Plane and attempts to lethally boop the snoot of Yoink's mount with yellowed lightning. However, the mount simply sidesteps after the overly long and flashy buildup to the attack.
Yoink decides to take on the Unicorn. He charges the Unicorn and takes a horn through the shoulder for his trouble. However, Yoink isn't about to be deterred. He forces himself down the horn and gouges the Unicorn's eyes out. In return, she bites off one of his hands. Yoink shouts in rage, tears off the Unicorn's horn, and stabs her in the heart with it. She screams, bucks him off, and stomps his knee into uselessness. The Unicorn then goes for an uncharacteristic quick kill with a bite to the throat, but Yoink holds her off by bracing a foot against the detached horn and pressing until the Unicorn finally collapses into the dust. Yoink's consciousness flickers in and out, but he is dragged out of the battle by his allies.
Meanwhile, the battle devolves into a stalemate. The Dairy Queen's army takes up defensive positions in the castle, while Yoink's okapis build up fortifications on the edge of the woods.
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on May 30, 2020, 10:03:38 pm
"Hola cabrones, have I missed anything?"
Post by: The Canadian kitten on May 30, 2020, 10:12:11 pm
Post by: Glass on May 30, 2020, 10:31:23 pm
Post by: Imic on May 31, 2020, 04:58:08 am
Head on back to the Moloko. Do as is needed of me as a TARDIS pilot. Try not to get distracted again.
Post by: King Zultan on May 31, 2020, 06:23:36 am
Use the Ion Cannon to blow up Moscow and The Vatican, then see if being the president gets me access to any other weapons of mass destruction.
Post by: ziizo on May 31, 2020, 07:00:46 am
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 31, 2020, 11:57:09 am
Continue through the cave
I thought you were from the Eldritch plane, the book was found in a tower in that plane, which explains your goal of deleting will, which is also what the Eldritch want to do, which is why I thought you might have been from there. You also mention the Eldritch hive mind. I thought you controlled the plane that’s named after you. The book was likely written by the cultist in the tower, who was trying to understand a symbol and was going to use a gas from a skull to do...something
Post by: Enemy post on May 31, 2020, 12:38:47 pm
I thought you were from the Eldritch plane, the book was found in a tower in that plane, which explains your goal of deleting will, which is also what the Eldritch want to do, which is why I thought you might have been from there. You also mention the Eldritch hive mind. I thought you controlled the plane that’s named after you. The book was likely written by the cultist in the tower, who was trying to understand a symbol and was going to use a gas from a skull to do...something
"I am part of the Eldritch mind, but there is no Eldritch Plane. We have not heard of the place you describe.
...Or at least, we have not yet heard of it. Please, describe it more. What is the symbol you mentioned?"
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on May 31, 2020, 01:24:36 pm
the sky is yellow, and there is a purple tower. Most of the creatures I’ve seen there have tentacles and can fly. There are also large 4 winged creatures with 2 arms and 2 legs that have an organ that allows temporary faster than light travel. They are called Byakhees. The symbol looks like this: there are three xes arranged in a triangle, but each of the xes is connected with loops, there’s a small loop on the top x, then the lines from that x form triangles from the left and right top, then there are lines from the triangles that lead to the other 2 xes, that then have loops below them. The bottom xes don’t connect with each other. we share a mind, what about I show it to you? (https://i.imgur.com/LIDElsB.png) The tower we were in had different rooms, one had ghouls, and we climbed the wall and entered a whispering window and found that symbol on a skull that started emitting green mist. I was flying with Gunthar at the time, and he readied his axe as I threw him towards the sorcerer holding the skull, the axe killed the sorcerer, and Gunthar left the room, Joshua and I stayed in the room. While Joshua cleaned and fixed the uniform to put it on, I read one of the books, which read “ "Chapter I:What is Acceptable, and what is Not."I thought you were from the Eldritch plane, the book was found in a tower in that plane, which explains your goal of deleting will, which is also what the Eldritch want to do, which is why I thought you might have been from there. You also mention the Eldritch hive mind. I thought you controlled the plane that’s named after you. The book was likely written by the cultist in the tower, who was trying to understand a symbol and was going to use a gas from a skull to do...something
"I am part of the Eldritch mind, but there is no Eldritch Plane. We have not heard of the place you describe.
...Or at least, we have not yet heard of it. Please, describe it more. What is the symbol you mentioned?"
"There are many things in the planes, now. They were not always here, but they have risen. They are things of Chaos. Of Will. Of Intention. They are not Acceptable. From Intention comes Will, and from Will comes Chaos. Chaos brings destruction, as the Milk Conflicts so truly prove. We of what is often called the "Eldritch Plane" are the end of Chaos, because we are the end of Will, because we are the end of Intention. The madnesses we bring shall make everyone Acceptable. No more shall Chaos reign. We shall bring the last dance, a dance of joy, of murder, and finally of silence. The minds and stars shall die, and the cosmos shall ever after be a thing of order again...
Rana” at which point tentacles came out of the book, I left the Byakhee I was in, and it left, it turns out the tentacles were after me, not the byakhee. I hope he/she/it is ok, anyway Joshua and I found Gunthar and he opened two portals, one to the material plane, and one to here. Gunthar wished to visit here, and the portal to this realm pulled us inside, Joshua saw a vision of the mountain we are in now, so we are climbing to the top. Gunthar is mentioning a cow that he’s searching for to get milk. We each have different reasons for why we want milk.
Post by: Yoink on June 01, 2020, 12:45:05 am
ONCE I'M DRAGGED OUT OF HARM'S WAY, THANK MY BRAVE RESCUERS THEN SEND THEM BACK INTO FRAY WITH MY BLESSING AND PERHAPS EVEN A BONUS TO THEIR ATTACKS AND STUFF BUT WHAT WOULD I KNOW
CRAWL MY WAY TO CONVENIENT HILL FROM WHICH I CAN WATCH THE BATTLE AND DIRECT MY FORCES
SEE IF I CAN FIND A BRANCH OR FROND TO USE AS MAKESHIFT "SAIHAI", ONE OF THOSE SAMURAI COMMANDER BATON/PADDLE THINGS
...OH YEAH, AND STAUNCH MY BLEEDING I GUESS.
IF VIDEOGAMES HAVE TAUGHT ME ONE THING IT'S THAT TOURNIQUETS EASY ENOUGH TO MAKE FROM BARK
Post by: CABL on June 01, 2020, 04:22:09 am
Climb, climb climb.
Remember about teamwork and try to catch Rana is she falls.
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on June 01, 2020, 07:20:47 pm
Spoiler: GM Only (click to show/hide)
Post by: Superdorf on June 02, 2020, 12:45:04 am
When... skies were still blue.
This book. This book-- this place--
this time--
...
...time. Time. No time. No. Nonono--
Gunthar's up, and he's running. Running. Book in hand. Running. Running home.
Twenty minutes.
Post by: Enemy post on June 02, 2020, 02:24:32 am
Juainos will just grab everything and step into the strange mysterious blue portal that suddenly appeared for no reason at all back to the TARDIS5+1
"Hola cabrones, have I missed anything?"
“I, ah, have the data. Issss there any quick way back to my lab? Preferably without any of thessse sssstrange portalssss that you’ve had happening all the time.”(No roll)
(Sorry, that was a typo of ‘it’)6+2
Head on back to the Moloko. Do as is needed of me as a TARDIS pilot. Try not to get distracted again.
"I could probably take you, but it would need teleporting."Spoiler: GM Only (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Juainos holds his breath, stuffs everything not nailed down in the science lab into a huge bag, and is miraculously saved from the gas by a portal that takes him back to the spot where the TARDIS used to be.
"Hola cabrones, have I missed anything?"
“I, ah, have the data. Issss there any quick way back to my lab? Preferably without any of thessse sssstrange portalssss that you’ve had happening all the time.”
"I could probably take you, but it would need teleporting."
As the party discusses this, Shaun's TARDIS suddenly returns and crashes through the ceiling. Despite the whooping noise, it still catches the group by surprise. Juainos is pinned underneath the returning machine, but thankfully not injured by the experience. Shaun opens the door wearing Lincoln's hat and offering to pilot the group to their next destination. You can all depart when ready.
That damn skelly. The network shall be tracking and chase the skelly until it is dead dead.
4, 6 vs 3+1
Time to deal with the skeleton, you all think. Combing the wasteland goes a lot quicker when there's so many of you. In short order, you locate the creature. He puts up a fight and destroys a few of your extraneous minions, but you clearly have the upper hand.
"That didn't help at all, maybe if I blow up something important I'll feel like myself again."
Use the Ion Cannon to blow up Moscow and The Vatican, then see if being the president gets me access to any other weapons of mass destruction.
3, 3, 1
Still feeling down about being the Government, you listlessly destroy Moscow and the Vatican before getting bored and searching through the files for other WMDs. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like any of America's other superweapons survived the Event intact and unused. The thought occurs to you that you could simply declare your resignation, if the ion cannon isn't worth compromising what you stand for like this.
Burn Okapis and sacrifice their souls to resurrect the unicorn.
5
You drag together some of the abomination's corpses, ritually disembowel them, and burn the remains. From the smoke, you see hazy glimpses of the afterlife as the Dairy Queen's minions watch your work. At the right moment, you whisper a prayer to T'zzz and plunge your hand through. Getting a grip on something, you pull it back as your ritual site explodes. You are unharmed by the blast, and blink your eyes open to see the restored Unicorn standing before you. She bends down and hisses a challenge, ready for Round 2 with the okapis and their wounded leader.
You see something else in her eyes as well when she glances at you. The Dairy Queen would not have bothered with a resurrection. Even if she did, she would have used necromancy to make only an undead slave. The Unicorn knows who and what is responsible for her rebirth.
This unicorn is now loyal to the cult of T'zzz, not the Dairy Queen. An attack then begins, drawing your attention for the moment. Despite the support of your unicorn and some poor tactical decisions on the okapis' part, the okapis are getting the better of your forces.
"THANKS, BUT... GO, MY CHILDREN. DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME. PRESS THE ATTACK! FINISH THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL! FOR ALL OKAPI-KIND!"
ONCE I'M DRAGGED OUT OF HARM'S WAY, THANK MY BRAVE RESCUERS THEN SEND THEM BACK INTO FRAY WITH MY BLESSING AND PERHAPS EVEN A BONUS TO THEIR ATTACKS AND STUFF BUT WHAT WOULD I KNOW
CRAWL MY WAY TO CONVENIENT HILL FROM WHICH I CAN WATCH THE BATTLE AND DIRECT MY FORCES
SEE IF I CAN FIND A BRANCH OR FROND TO USE AS MAKESHIFT "SAIHAI", ONE OF THOSE SAMURAI COMMANDER BATON/PADDLE THINGS
...OH YEAH, AND STAUNCH MY BLEEDING I GUESS.
IF VIDEOGAMES HAVE TAUGHT ME ONE THING IT'S THAT TOURNIQUETS EASY ENOUGH TO MAKE FROM BARK
3, 6, 4-1 vs 1+1, 1
You give a pep talk and take up a command position as you order your okapis to resume the attack. It doesn't help and in fact seems a bit counterproductive, probably because of all the blood spraying from your wrist despite your makeshift tourniquet. Even worse, the enemy forces resurrect the Unicorn in perfect condition.
Despite all these setbacks, your okapi partisans perform admirably. The attack begins successfully, pushing the magical creatures back against the Dairy Queen's fortress walls.
I guess we continue forward, right Joshua? It’s unfortunate that Gunthar was unable to leave with us
Continue through the cave
I thought you were from the Eldritch plane, the book was found in a tower in that plane, which explains your goal of deleting will, which is also what the Eldritch want to do, which is why I thought you might have been from there. You also mention the Eldritch hive mind. I thought you controlled the plane that’s named after you. The book was likely written by the cultist in the tower, who was trying to understand a symbol and was going to use a gas from a skull to do...something
"I am part of the Eldritch mind, but there is no Eldritch Plane. We have not heard of the place you describe.
...Or at least, we have not yet heard of it. Please, describe it more. What is the symbol you mentioned?"
the sky is yellow, and there is a purple tower. Most of the creatures I’ve seen there have tentacles and can fly. There are also large 4 winged creatures with 2 arms and 2 legs that have an organ that allows temporary faster than light travel. They are called Byakhees. The symbol looks like this: there are three xes arranged in a triangle, but each of the xes is connected with loops, there’s a small loop on the top x, then the lines from that x form triangles from the left and right top, then there are lines from the triangles that lead to the other 2 xes, that then have loops below them. The bottom xes don’t connect with each other. we share a mind, what about I show it to you? (https://i.imgur.com/LIDElsB.png) The tower we were in had different rooms, one had ghouls, and we climbed the wall and entered a whispering window and found that symbol on a skull that started emitting green mist. I was flying with Gunthar at the time, and he readied his axe as I threw him towards the sorcerer holding the skull, the axe killed the sorcerer, and Gunthar left the room, Joshua and I stayed in the room. While Joshua cleaned and fixed the uniform to put it on, I read one of the books, which read “ "Chapter I:What is Acceptable, and what is Not."3
"There are many things in the planes, now. They were not always here, but they have risen. They are things of Chaos. Of Will. Of Intention. They are not Acceptable. From Intention comes Will, and from Will comes Chaos. Chaos brings destruction, as the Milk Conflicts so truly prove. We of what is often called the "Eldritch Plane" are the end of Chaos, because we are the end of Will, because we are the end of Intention. The madnesses we bring shall make everyone Acceptable. No more shall Chaos reign. We shall bring the last dance, a dance of joy, of murder, and finally of silence. The minds and stars shall die, and the cosmos shall ever after be a thing of order again...
Rana” at which point tentacles came out of the book, I left the Byakhee I was in, and it left, it turns out the tentacles were after me, not the byakhee. I hope he/she/it is ok, anyway Joshua and I found Gunthar and he opened two portals, one to the material plane, and one to here. Gunthar wished to visit here, and the portal to this realm pulled us inside, Joshua saw a vision of the mountain we are in now, so we are climbing to the top. Gunthar is mentioning a cow that he’s searching for to get milk. We each have different reasons for why we want milk.
"I guess so, Rana. Gunthar is probably dead, anyway, and we still haven't reached the summit yet, so let's climb towards it!"3+1 for teamwork
Climb, climb climb.
Remember about teamwork and try to catch Rana is she falls.
Rana speaks with her host.
I thought you were from the Eldritch plane, the book was found in a tower in that plane, which explains your goal of deleting will, which is also what the Eldritch want to do, which is why I thought you might have been from there. You also mention the Eldritch hive mind. I thought you controlled the plane that’s named after you. The book was likely written by the cultist in the tower, who was trying to understand a symbol and was going to use a gas from a skull to do...something
"I am part of the Eldritch mind, but there is no Eldritch Plane. We have not heard of the place you describe.
...Or at least, we have not yet heard of it. Please, describe it more. What is the symbol you mentioned?"
the sky is yellow, and there is a purple tower. Most of the creatures I’ve seen there have tentacles and can fly. There are also large 4 winged creatures with 2 arms and 2 legs that have an organ that allows temporary faster than light travel. They are called Byakhees. The symbol looks like this: there are three xes arranged in a triangle, but each of the xes is connected with loops, there’s a small loop on the top x, then the lines from that x form triangles from the left and right top, then there are lines from the triangles that lead to the other 2 xes, that then have loops below them. The bottom xes don’t connect with each other. we share a mind, what about I show it to you? (https://i.imgur.com/LIDElsB.png) The tower we were in had different rooms, one had ghouls, and we climbed the wall and entered a whispering window and found that symbol on a skull that started emitting green mist. I was flying with Gunthar at the time, and he readied his axe as I threw him towards the sorcerer holding the skull, the axe killed the sorcerer, and Gunthar left the room, Joshua and I stayed in the room. While Joshua cleaned and fixed the uniform to put it on, I read one of the books, which read “ "Chapter I:What is Acceptable, and what is Not."
"There are many things in the planes, now. They were not always here, but they have risen. They are things of Chaos. Of Will. Of Intention. They are not Acceptable. From Intention comes Will, and from Will comes Chaos. Chaos brings destruction, as the Milk Conflicts so truly prove. We of what is often called the "Eldritch Plane" are the end of Chaos, because we are the end of Will, because we are the end of Intention. The madnesses we bring shall make everyone Acceptable. No more shall Chaos reign. We shall bring the last dance, a dance of joy, of murder, and finally of silence. The minds and stars shall die, and the cosmos shall ever after be a thing of order again...
Rana” at which point tentacles came out of the book, I left the Byakhee I was in, and it left, it turns out the tentacles were after me, not the byakhee. I hope he/she/it is ok, anyway Joshua and I found Gunthar and he opened two portals, one to the material plane, and one to here. Gunthar wished to visit here, and the portal to this realm pulled us inside, Joshua saw a vision of the mountain we are in now, so we are climbing to the top. Gunthar is mentioning a cow that he’s searching for to get milk. We each have different reasons for why we want milk.
"...Interesting. Very interesting. In light of this information, we believe that cooperation would be Acceptable for now if you agree to work together. We know this cow, Auðumbla. We can help you find her. Bring us to her. You wish to create new things, new life and worlds. We can show you how to do this. Do we have a deal?"
Rana also speaks with Joshua as they emerge into the light at the other end of the tunnel. and begin scaling a cliff.
I guess we continue forward, right Joshua? It’s unfortunate that Gunthar was unable to leave with us
"I guess so, Rana. Gunthar is probably dead, anyway, and we still haven't reached the summit yet, so let's climb towards it!"
Joshua's commitment to teamwork proves fortuitous when Rana's crablike host falls. Joshua is able to catch her before it is damaged and forces her to find a new body.
Ultimately, the two of them reach an outcropping and stop to catch their breath. Nearby is a very young ash tree (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fraxinus_excelsior), about the height of a man. At its base is a small serpent, nibbling at the roots. Four fawns are gathered around, occasionally stopping to bite at the leaves. Finally, two eggs, one much smaller than the other, sit in a nest atop the tree.
(https://imgur.com/Mi7RayC.png)
When... skies were still blue.
This book. This book-- this place--
this time--
...
...time. Time. No time. No. Nonono--
Gunthar's up, and he's running. Running. Book in hand. Running. Running home.
Twenty minutes.
6
Spoiler: Spoiler content from last turn, free for anyone to read now. (click to show/hide)
It's about to happen. You remember this day with crystal clarity. A man with a beard is walking by. He trips on a pointed stone, spilling an Aldebaran coffee. A green alien flies a kite. Red, with yellow stripes. A woman comforts a crying baby in a pink carriage with planet trim. Blue skies. You read your book for twenty more minutes.
No.
Not this time. This time will be different. You leap out of the bench, tuck the book under your arm, and run as fast as you can. The man, the alien, and the woman all give you odd looks, but it won't matter. You rush through the creek to get home quicker. Almost hoping you've simply gone mad, you glance at your pants legs. No. The pants aren't covered in water. The creek turned to milk. It's beginning. You run through the streets, pushing people aside. They're thoroughly distracted by a newscreen on a nearby building that is displaying a giant deer-headed monster battling a commando at the Alliance capital building. That also isn't going to matter.
You leap a couple fences and find yourself just outside your home. You've got 2 minutes and 47 seconds left before it happens. A luxury cruiser is slowly approaching on the horizon. You know that in 3 minutes and 9 seconds, it's going to crash into this street.
Post by: ziizo on June 02, 2020, 06:34:31 am
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on June 02, 2020, 06:40:07 am
what do you think we do here?
Post by: Glass on June 02, 2020, 06:52:31 am
“Isss there any location where I can ssssafely make usssse of the data I’ve recovered? Making a few more copiessss would probably also be a good idea.”
Post by: Imic on June 02, 2020, 07:27:21 am
Post by: Glass on June 02, 2020, 07:29:41 am
Give an explanation of where that means.
Post by: Imic on June 02, 2020, 07:37:40 am
Bring him back to his lab.
Post by: King Zultan on June 02, 2020, 07:43:27 am
See what kind of things I have access to as the president that aren't power and money, as the money's worthless and everyone's dead.
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on June 02, 2020, 01:11:31 pm
"Hey Adam, ever see a man get discombobulated in a time-loop for 5000 kalpas? Cause I think this is what this thingymajig does."
Post by: CABL on June 02, 2020, 01:16:03 pm
Kneel before the serpent to see if I'm worthy of foreseeing my destiny.
If I'm worthy, then touch the serpent's head with a finger and see my destiny.
If not, then I guess try to roll away from the serpent, then stand up and throw a knife at it.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on June 02, 2020, 02:01:27 pm
If the serpent attacks Joshua, attack it, if not, examine the eggs more closely
Post by: The Canadian kitten on June 02, 2020, 08:20:38 pm
Post by: Yoink on June 03, 2020, 07:39:22 am
OKAY, NEW PLAN: DRINK THE BLOOD FROM MY WOUNDS! IF IT IMMEDIATELY RE-ENTERS MY BODY IT'S LIKE I'M NOT EVEN LOSING BLOOD AT ALL, RIGHT?! CHECKMATE, MEDICAL PRACTITIONERS!
IF THAT SOMEHOW NOT WORK, AT LEAST HAVE HELPFUL SPIRITUAL VISION SPARKED MY RESULTING LIGHT-HEADEDNESS
OH YEAH, AND PULL OUT A BAZOOKA FROM SOMEWHERE (MAYBE BURIED UNDER TREE?) AND SHOOT THAT FRIGGIN' UNICORN.
MY HEROIC OKAPI FORCES CAN SURELY HANDLE REST OF DAIRY QUEEN ARMY ON THEIR OWN.
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on June 03, 2020, 09:03:32 pm
Post by: darkwarlock3 on June 04, 2020, 01:44:24 am
Post by: Enemy post on June 04, 2020, 02:33:33 am
Fuck it, climb aboard.
“Isss there any location where I can ssssafely make usssse of the data I’ve recovered? Making a few more copiessss would probably also be a good idea.”
Haven’t a clue.
"Then bring me back to my lab."
Give an explanation of where that means.
Arrighty then, assumin’ it’s still there.4+2
Bring him back to his lab.
Juainos follows his Chupathingie friend and Shaun along while fiddling the first geometric hoagie he can grab from his Bag O' Hoagies.(No roll)
"Hey Adam, ever see a man get discombobulated in a time-loop for 5000 kalpas? Cause I think this is what this thingymajig does."
5Magicallyfix our replicator.
Ssarscel climbs aboard Shaun's TARDIS.
“Isss there any location where I can ssssafely make usssse of the data I’ve recovered? Making a few more copiessss would probably also be a good idea.”
"Haven’t a clue."
"Then bring me back to my lab."
"Arrighty then, assumin’ it’s still there."
As they prepare for departure, Juainos and Adam enter as well. Juainos tries to strike up a conversation while eating a hoagie.
"Hey Adam, ever see a man get discombobulated in a time-loop for 5000 kalpas? Cause I think this is what this thingymajig does."[/b]
However, Adam rudely refuses to speak with him and instead goes to see the replicators. Through means exactly as mysterious as Juainos' portals, the replicators are miraculously repaired. In fact, they are now charged with the interlocked energies of Heaven and Hell. Once Ssarscel has studied the Infinity Milk's scans at his lab and refined the recipe, this replicator should be strong enough to survive recreating the lost Milks.
After all that is done, the TARDIS materializes back in the settlement. Outside, the town is eerily quiet. Scanner readings indicate that nearly everyone is gone. Only a handful of the original population is still here, and they seem to be patrolling around the ruins. After a few seconds, they all simultaneously do a triumphant fist pump before immediately going back to their patrols.
Protected inside the TARDIS, the group suddenly detects a massive wave of something wash over the town. The layout is suddenly altered, and a few of the patrolling people are deleted from existence and replaced with other similar but not identical people.
"I could quit being the president, but maybe I have access to something really neat that'll make it worth going against everything I've stood for."
See what kind of things I have access to as the president that aren't power and money, as the money's worthless and everyone's dead.
6
You look through the Presidential archives, hoping to find something fun. Soon enough, you discover something interesting. According to these records, the President is entitled to a massive spacecraft named the Sacred Cow. The vehicle is meant as a heavily fortified interplanetary command center for the President. Shaped much like an archaic airliner, It includes laser cannons, heavy armor, everything one might need in a mobile headquarters, and a functional robotic crew.
The only problem is that Sacred Cow is currently under the control of a gang of anarchist raiders, who have hacked the robots and pilot the vehicle around Earth to destroy communities they consider "complacent".
You feel fuzzy for a moment, and then realize you've got two antlers. Odd that this is notable to you, since you never lost an antler.
yes, we have a deal4
what do you think we do here?
"Can't say for sure, but that serpent... There's something in its eyes, calling to me."2, 4
Kneel before the serpent to see if I'm worthy of foreseeing my destiny.
If I'm worthy, then touch the serpent's head with a finger and see my destiny.
If not, then I guess try to roll away from the serpent, then stand up and throw a knife at it.
what do you mean calling to you? Do you hear thoughts from it?1
If the serpent attacks Joshua, attack it, if not, examine the eggs more closely
yes, we have a deal
"Acceptable, Creator Rana. A Byakhee will be along shortly. Swap this body with that one. It will make it easier for us to get down the mountain and reach Cow Auðumbla. Once there, you will need to acquire her milk."
The deal is made. As the creature speaks, Rana feels the knowledge of Auðumbla's current location enter her mind.
At the summit of the Mountain, Rana and Joshua observe the little tree and its creatures.
"what do you think we do here?"
"Can't say for sure, but that serpent... There's something in its eyes, calling to me."
what do you mean calling to you? Do you hear thoughts from it?
Joshua approaches the serpent cautiously. Rana keeps an eye on him, but also takes a look at the nest. As her crablike body crawls atop the tree to get a better look, she accidentally dislodges the larger of the two eggs. It shatters upon the ground, and a massive wave of sheer change echoes throughout the Ginnungagap. She gets the sense that this tree is best treated with great care.
Joshua's attempt to kneel is spoiled when the wave trips him. He falls before the serpent, but thankfully it seems that the creature is feeling forgiving. Joshua looks into the creature's eyes atop the great mountain, searching for his destiny. And finally he finds it.
Joshua sees a blurry vision of himself, on an unknown battlefield. Fighting against him is Thainos himself. It seems that somehow, Thainos survived the Event. He's currently hiding somewhere in Joshua's own time, enjoying the "paradise" he created. This is what Joshua was born for. To be an Avenger, trillions of times over. The vision does not guarantee success. In many versions of the fight, Thainos emerges triumphant. However, in many others, Joshua fulfills his destiny and becomes one of the greatest heroes in history. As a result, his life is indeed changed forever.
Crush the skelly to dust! THEN BURN THE DUST SOMEHOW5 vs 2+1, 4+1
use the skeletons of those i killed to out last them while keep slaughtering them6
The horde attacks Joey Bones, attempting to bring him down. Joey impales and shreds his way through dozens of drones, but eventually trips over one of the corpses. This gives the horde an idea. Soon enough, Joey Bones is hemmed in by the heaps of his enemies' dead. The horde uses the opening to dogpile him. Joey tries using the skeletons of the drones to keep himself standing, but this proves to be a mistake. The sheer volume of nanobots poisoning their bones compromises Joey's will, crippling his efforts to fight back. The John Network uses the opportunity to finally subdue Joey.
In short order, Joey is crushed to dust and burnt. All that remains of him is the cremated ashes floating on the wind.
Joey Bones is dead.
"BUGGER."4, 1, 5 vs 6
OKAY, NEW PLAN: DRINK THE BLOOD FROM MY WOUNDS! IF IT IMMEDIATELY RE-ENTERS MY BODY IT'S LIKE I'M NOT EVEN LOSING BLOOD AT ALL, RIGHT?! CHECKMATE, MEDICAL PRACTITIONERS!
IF THAT SOMEHOW NOT WORK, AT LEAST HAVE HELPFUL SPIRITUAL VISION SPARKED MY RESULTING LIGHT-HEADEDNESS
OH YEAH, AND PULL OUT A BAZOOKA FROM SOMEWHERE (MAYBE BURIED UNDER TREE?) AND SHOOT THAT FRIGGIN' UNICORN.
MY HEROIC OKAPI FORCES CAN SURELY HANDLE REST OF DAIRY QUEEN ARMY ON THEIR OWN.
Ride the Unicorn into battle casting fire spells at the Okapis6+1
Yoink shoves his own dismembered wrist into his mouth and drinks his spraying blood. In direct defiance of all medical knowledge, this somehow cancels out his bleeding. He then discovers an old rocket launcher left behind during the apocalypse and buried under some roots. Yoink raises the launcher one-handed and attempts to target the Unicorn.
Meanwhile, Adam and his steed charge into the Okapi ranks, slaughtering rebellious endangered giraffe relatives left and right with spiral horn and burning flame. Yoink attempts to stop them with the rocket launcher, but fires wildly off-course and hits his own ranks. In the resulting confusion, the Dairy Queen's forces take full control of the battle and push the okapis into full retreat. Attacking the fortress is no longer possible for Yoink's army in its current state.
As they flee into the woods, both sides suddenly feel lost for a moment, as if the trees aren't where they should be. Oddly enough, they can't remember them being anywhere else either.
OOC:I just wanted to mention that we have a channel on the General Bay12 Forum Games discord. (https://discord.gg/bNDmZq)
Post by: Imic on June 04, 2020, 06:33:23 am
Post by: King Zultan on June 04, 2020, 06:48:07 am
Use the computers I have access to, to reprogram the robots on the Sacred Cow to kill all the raiders inside then fly it back to DC and land it at the airport.
Post by: Glass on June 04, 2020, 06:48:19 am
If permission is granted, get to work on that, and on studying (and maybe making more copies of) the infinity milk scans.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on June 04, 2020, 07:11:40 am
Sorry about that. I know where Auðumbla is
When the Byakhee arrives, move to it and take Joshua and this body
((If current host is body A, and Byakhee is body B, move to body B, and take Joshua and body A with me. Please tell me if you’d like clarification))
Post by: ziizo on June 04, 2020, 09:04:11 am
Rally the Dairy Queen army and charge towards retrating army.
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on June 04, 2020, 11:52:25 am
"Maybe Adam kills people without looking them in the face, but I ain't a fink, dig? You've made your last delivery boys. Sorry you got twisted up in this scene. From where you're walkin' it must seem like an 18-carat run of bad luck. Truth is..."
Juainos's mustache falls off, revealing none other than Thainos himself, who hosts a Gravity Gun he looted from the Moloko.
"The game was rigged from the start."
Thainos fires the gun, forcing the group into the portal before closing it, leaving them stranded in the 3745th Realm of Pain.
Post by: The Canadian kitten on June 04, 2020, 12:20:16 pm
Post by: Imic on June 04, 2020, 01:10:22 pm
Jua- Aye mean Thainos, y’evil, treacherous, lie-mongering bastard-fish! Náire is athas chugat! Gríos gan iongainí ort! Léir ort! Dathadh ort! But y’forgot one thing, y’cabáiste!
By a stroke of luck, you do in fact have the key to the TARDIS in your pocket.AYE NEVER PUT IT DOWN YA PILLOCK AUBERGINE!
Take out the key, summon the TARDIS, if possible. If the TARDIS can’t be summoned into the 3745th Realm of Pain, then quietly put the key back into whatever pocket it came out of and punch anyone if they ever bring this outburst up again, provided we survive beyond the next five seconds.
Post by: Avetruetotheimperator on June 04, 2020, 01:42:26 pm
Post by: TricMagic on June 04, 2020, 03:18:05 pm
Post by: Yoink on June 04, 2020, 11:23:32 pm
SPEAKING OF PURSUERS, LEAVE FOUR SMALL SQUADS OF SOLDIERS AT VARIOUS POINTS ALONG TRIP, WITH ORDERS TO USE GUERRILLA TACTICS TO HARRY ANY ENEMIES ON OUR TRAIL. PICK THEM OFF, SLOW THEM DOWN, HOPEFULLY DISTRACT THEM ENOUGH THAT WE CAN LOSE THEM ALTOGETHER.
GIVE RE-LOADED ROCKET LAUNCHER TO LAST SQUAD, WITH SOLEMN NOD AND KNOWLEDGE THAT IF ENEMIES REACH THEM THEY PROBABLY OUR LAST LINE OF DEFENCE.
"GODSPEED."
EDIT: ALSO, GIVEN REPLY NUMBER OF THIS POST WHICH I JUST NOTICED, PROBABLY GOOD IDEA TO BLAZE IT WIT MY OKAPIS, WELL, ONCE WE'VE GIVEN OUR PURSUERS THE SLIP AT LEAST
Post by: Glass on June 04, 2020, 11:29:31 pm
As the group prepares to replicate the Infinity Dearies Juainos clenches his fist and a portal to the 3745th Realm of Pain appears in the room.Scarper in a direction perpendicular to the line of fire and not toward the portal.
"Maybe Adam kills people without looking them in the face, but I ain't a fink, dig? You've made your last delivery boys. Sorry you got twisted up in this scene. From where you're walkin' it must seem like an 18-carat run of bad luck. Truth is..."
Juainos's mustache falls off, revealing none other than Thainos himself, who hosts a Gravity Gun he looted from the Moloko.
"The game was rigged from the start."
Thainos fires the gun, forcing the group into the portal before closing it, leaving them stranded in the 3745th Realm of Pain.
Post by: CABL on June 05, 2020, 01:06:23 am
Thank the serpent for revealing my fate, then begin to descend the mountain.
Ask Rana if she has any idea as to how to track down Thainos.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on June 05, 2020, 09:02:41 am
"Try to be more careful next time, Rana. I could've been bitten and poisoned in a moment."let’s focus on the milk, then worry about Thainos
Thank the serpent for revealing my fate, then begin to descend the mountain.
Ask Rana if she has any idea as to how to track down Thainos.
Post by: Enemy post on June 06, 2020, 01:34:47 am
Post by: Superdorf on June 06, 2020, 02:39:05 am
He'll be home with his grandma. The kitchen. Dinnertime.
Eight years old. Quiet. So curious.
Why can't I remember his name?
Gunter starts up a rapping at the door. Hesitant at first-- soon frantic.
Please hear me, Ma. Please hear me.
Post by: Enemy post on June 06, 2020, 02:49:33 am
This should cover the basics of what's happened so far. Sorry if your events got left out, I tried to keep it down to only the minimum.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Turn 1
The game starts. You're all in a postapocalyptic town, after Thainos devastated the universe at the end of the previous game.
Turn 2
Everyone is making characters and starting out on various plans. Adam Young goes to the bar, looking for adventurers to join him. Burt the deer man generally focuses on a long, conspiracy-fueled quest to exterminate any remnants of the Government.
Turn 3
Several other players join Adam Young, including the mysterious Juainos. Cistern the AI starts making a hive-mind network.
Turn 4
GUNTHAR HORNHELM attempts to open a portal for Joshua with the Axe of the Ginnungagap that Adam Young made for him and accidentally summons a monster into the bar. A fight breaks out. Adam Smith the T'zzz cultist has entered the Dreamlands on a quest to find milk to empower T'zzz. John is attacked by sewer clowns, which Cistern witnesses.
Turn 5
Fight in the bar continues. Cistern attacks John, attempting to add him to her network. Luis Douglas works on occult rituals to find milk. Shaun leaves the bar.
Turn 6
A monster portal reverses and begins pulling things into the Eldritch Plane. Shaun saves John from the sewer clowns, and Cistern forces him into a digital form while failing to erase his free will. Yoink has gone into the woods to look for giraffe milk, but finds himself increasingly surrounded by okapis.
Turn 7
Joshua, GUNTHAR, and Rana all decide to jump into the portal and see where it takes them. Juainos, Ssarscel, and Adam Young all stay in the bar and successfully close the portal. Shaun then accidentally destroys the bar with his now-oversized TARDIS.
Turn 8
John takes over Cipher's network, though she survives as a separate entity. Shaun decides to go to the forest to look for the remnants of a downed Doom Mug and get the milk from its remains. Adam Smith finds out about the Dairy Queen and her milk treasure. Joshua, GUNTHAR, and Rana have arrived at an Eldritch Plane tower and begin to explore it while defending themselves from Eldritch creatures attacking them.
Turn 9
Juainos and Shaun fix the TARDIS, (accidentally on Juainos' part) while Ssarscel and Adam Young head out into the wasteland to visit Florence Memorial library in the ruins of Genericville and learn about the molecular structure of milk so Ssarscel can synthesize it. They get lost for a while. Luis Dougris resurrects a milk jug, becoming the first to get milk. Yoink seduces the okapis.
Turn 10
Shaun leaves Juainos behind and teleports to the Doom Mug. The sewer clowns assimilated into John's version of the Network begin attacking the town. Yoink spawns a race of hybrid offspring with the okapis.
Turn 11
Adam Smith goes to the forest. Things start to go wrong as Shaun explores the Doom Mug alone. The clowns are spreading the virus through bites.
Turn 12
Continuation of previous events, Joey Bones is attacked by the virus-infected clowns and townsfolk.
Turn 13
John's Network conquers the starting village. Adam Young and Ssarscel reach Genericville, which is overrun by Florence Memorial's Frankenstein-esque monsters. Juainos flies his hat to the Doom Mug. Joshua, GUNTHAR, and Rana invade the tower and begin to battle the Scholars of the Symbol. Yoink and his okapis decide to attack the Dairy Queen and free the other okapis from their servitude.
Turn 14
John starts spreading to other towns. Juainos accidentally attacks the okapi hybrid town on his way to "rescue" Shaun. Adam and Ssarcel are attacked by the hybrid creatures and gradually begin to be overwhelmed.
Turn 15
Joshua steals and drinks the cultists' milk. As a result, he gets a vision of what to do next that says he needs to scale a certain mountain. Juainos accidentally saves Shaun.
Turn 16
Shaun and Juainos travel together for a time. Joey Bones, now a skeletal centipede monster, begins a second conflict with John's Network when he stumbles across their attack on a neighboring town.
Turn 17
Joshua, GUNTHAR, and Rana go to the Ginnungagap. GUNTHAR wanted to go there in search of the mythical cow Auðumbla. It turns out that Joshua's mountain is here. Shaun gets milk from the Doom Mug and then rescues Adam and Ssarscel with the TARDIS.
Turn 18
Adam Smith is finally captured by the Dairy Queen. Burt destroys Cyborg Senator Mitch McConnell. Joshua, GUNTHAR, and Rana begin to climb the mountain. Rana possesses a proto-Eldritch creature to replace her old Byakhee body. Yoink appoints Daughter Leslie to lead his hybrid village.
Turn 19
Yoink attacks the Dairy Queen. The Dairy Queen persuades/forces Adam Smith to fight for her. An attempt by John's Network to attack Genericville goes disastrously. Joshua, GUNTHAR, and Rana explore a cave in the Ginnungagap, while Rana begins an ongoing conversation with her new host body. Ssarscel studies the Doom Mug milk and invents a theoretically possible means of mass producing milk, while Shaun and Adam Young work out a plan for rebuilding society. Juainos secretly steals the remaining Doom Mug milk from Shaun.
Turn 20
Joshua, GUNTHAR, and Rana discover a mysterious pool. John's Network restocks itself using the surrounding villages. Shaun, Adam Young, Ssarscel, and Juainos go to the crash site of the Moloko in search of Delta's old Infinity Milk scans.
Turn 21
GUNTHAR interacts with the pool, seeing visions of possible futures, while Rana starts to connect more with her host. Shaun, Adam Young, Ssarscel, and Juainos begin exploring the Moloko. The ongoing battle between Yoink and Adam Smith shifts when a carnivorous unicorn is unleashed against the okapis.
Turn 22
John's Network conquers Genericville, with the exception of Florence Memorial library. Eldritch creatures attack Joshua, GUNTHAR, and Rana.
Turn 23
Joshua, GUNTHAR, and Rana defeat the Eldritch creatures, but the walls of the cave they are in shake as something else approaches. John attempts to build a society in Genericville, but the library proves to be too much of an issue and the city is abandoned. Shaun goes back in time, resaving Abraham Lincoln and visiting the Holy Grail's ultimately doomed utopia. Burt discovers that defeating Mitch McConnell automatically made him president. He uses the authority to destroy Vienna, Moscow, and the Vatican with an orbital ion cannon. Ssarscel recovers the Infinity Milk scans.
Turn 24
Joshua and Rana are forced to leave GUNTHAR behind when he is apparently killed by a cave in while fighting a massive worm. In fact, GUNTHAR fell into the pool and ended up in a flashback to before Thainos destroyed everything. Joey Bones kills several members of the network as he grows his skeletal amalgamation of a body. In retaliation, John attacks and ultimately kills him.
Turn 25
Rana and her host strike a deal, allying her (and by extension, Joshua) with the Eldritch creatures to find Auðumbla in return for being shown how to "create new things, new life and worlds". Joshua and Rana reach the summit of the mountain, finding a young Yggdrasil. Shaun returns to the present and ferries his group back to Ssarcel's lab.
Turn 26
Shaun, Adam Young, Juainos, and Ssarcel return to the initial town and see the depopulation inflicted by John's Network. Burt finds out about the President's mobile headquarters, Sacred Cow. Joshua discovers his destiny is to challenge Thainos and Avenge all those he killed. Adam Smith and the Dairy Queen's army defeats Yoink and his okapis.
I tried to get all the most important events, feel free to point out anything I missed.
Post by: TricMagic on June 06, 2020, 06:40:27 am
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on June 06, 2020, 08:13:46 am
Well, that escalated quickly.That it did
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on June 06, 2020, 09:48:02 am
Use my ability to ignore gravity, as demonstrated by me casually floating and shooting into space several times to resist the gravity gun and Punch Thainos in the single most painful place for his species with the powers of heaven and hell.
Post by: King Zultan on June 07, 2020, 02:32:08 am
I like how no matter what's happening in the game we can somehow make it even worse.Well, that escalated quickly.That it did
Post by: CABL on June 07, 2020, 03:24:47 am
let’s focus on the milk, then worry about Thainos
"There's a wisdom I've read in a book written before the Apocalypse. 'The one who doesn't use the opportunity to kill the enemy, while the enemy is licking their wounds, is the most foolish of the fools.' Thainos' powers must have been greatly depleted after he caused the Apocalypse, so it would be moronic to not use the moment for our advantage."
Post by: Enemy post on June 08, 2020, 02:38:32 am
What
“...do you mind if I jussssst try to sssset up an approximation if my lab in here inssssstead?”
If permission is granted, get to work on that, and on studying (and maybe making more copies of) the infinity milk scans.
As the group prepares to replicate the Infinity Dearies Juainos clenches his fist and a portal to the 3745th Realm of Pain appears in the room.3+2
"Maybe Adam kills people without looking them in the face, but I ain't a fink, dig? You've made your last delivery boys. Sorry you got twisted up in this scene. From where you're walkin' it must seem like an 18-carat run of bad luck. Truth is..."
Juainos's mustache falls off, revealing none other than Thainos himself, who hosts a Gravity Gun he looted from the Moloko.
"The game was rigged from the start."
Thainos fires the gun, forcing the group into the portal before closing it, leaving them stranded in the 3745th Realm of Pain.
Take a second to process what just happened, standing there in stunned silence, before speaking.2+1
Jua- Aye mean Thainos, y’evil, treacherous, lie-mongering bastard-fish! Náire is athas chugat! Gríos gan iongainí ort! Léir ort! Dathadh ort! But y’forgot one thing, y’cabáiste!By a stroke of luck, you do in fact have the key to the TARDIS in your pocket.AYE NEVER PUT IT DOWN YA PILLOCK AUBERGINE!
Take out the key, summon the TARDIS, if possible. If the TARDIS can’t be summoned into the 3745th Realm of Pain, then quietly put the key back into whatever pocket it came out of and punch anyone if they ever bring this outburst up again, provided we survive beyond the next five seconds.
Pop up suddenly after many off-screen misadventures to interrupt and derail someone's big plans. SURPRISE SAPERFUCKER!3+1
Return after many misadventures in the time stream. Derail the derail and convert them to the nyanetwork.1
Scarper in a direction perpendicular to the line of fire and not toward the portal.1
”Oh, look, such a surprise...”
Use my ability to ignore gravity, as demonstrated by me casually floating and shooting into space several times to resist the gravity gun and Punch Thainos in the single most painful place for his species with the powers of heaven and hell.
Shaun, Adam, Juainos, and Ssarscel look out on the ruined town.
"What"
“...do you mind if I jussssst try to sssset up an approximation if my lab in here inssssstead?”
At this point, Juainos clenches his fist and a portal to the 3745th Realm of Pain appears in the room.
"Maybe Adam kills people without looking them in the face, but I ain't a fink, dig? You've made your last delivery boys. Sorry you got twisted up in this scene. From where you're walkin' it must seem like an 18-carat run of bad luck. Truth is..."
Juainos's mustache falls off, revealing none other than Thainos himself, who hosts a Gravity Gun he looted from the Moloko.
"The game was rigged from the start."
With that, Thainos aims and fires the Gravity Gun, knocking Shaun and Ssarscel into the 3745th Realm of Pain with a blast each. When he turns the gun on Adam, the unexpected happens. Adam prepares to brace against the blow, but suddenly Slash Ashford portals into the room after a long time spent on exploring and sidequests. Slash begins to wrestle Thainos for the gun, when suddenly a power outlet sparks and Cistern jumps out of a monitor. The digital catgirl pounces at the Neanderthal, unsuccessfully attempting to convert him to her network. Thainos stumbles as the two wrestle around his gun, unable to fire at Adam. Adam rises into the air surrounded by a nimbus of black and gold energy before flying forward to punch Thainos. Thainos, despite the distraction, is able to catch Adam and pull him off course. Adam crashes into a set of Shaun's Christmas lights while Thainos deals with the fight still going on over his weapon.
Meanwhile in the 3745th Realm of Pain, Ssarscel and Shaun find themselves in a dark realm of broken stone, ruins, metal spikes jutting out of surfaces, and demons flapping by overhead. Thankfully, Shaun still has something up his sleeve.
Jua- Aye mean Thainos, y’evil, treacherous, lie-mongering bastard-fish! Náire is athas chugat! Gríos gan iongainí ort! Léir ort! Dathadh ort! But y’forgot one thing, y’cabáiste!
By a stroke of luck, you do in fact have the key to the TARDIS in your pocket.AYE NEVER PUT IT DOWN YA PILLOCK AUBERGINE!
With that, Shaun pulls out the TARDIS key and remotely summons it to his location in the 3745th Realm of Pain.
"I feel as if a major part of my looks has changed, but who cares about that when the only thing that makes being president slightly worth it is being driven around by a bunch of assholes that doesn't include me!"
Use the computers I have access to, to reprogram the robots on the Sacred Cow to kill all the raiders inside then fly it back to DC and land it at the airport.
5
It turns out that Presidential authority gets you automatic access to the robot's code. The robots respond promptly to your commands, flying into low orbit, opening the Sacred Cow's doors and suffocating the hijackers. They then fly the ship directly to you. The Sacred Cow lands just outside, awaiting your arrival. A robot valet waits outside to assist you.
I will when it arrives. Thank you for helping.(I get it.)
Sorry about that. I know where Auðumbla is
When the Byakhee arrives, move to it and take Joshua and this body(current host) (previous host)(helper) with me and fly towards Auðumbla
((If current host is body A, and Byakhee is body B, move to body B, and take Joshua and body A with me. Please tell me if you’d like clarification))
3
"Try to be more careful next time, Rana. I could've been bitten and poisoned in a moment."(No roll necessary, due to Rana's help.)
Thank the serpent for revealing my fate, then begin to descend the mountain.
Ask Rana if she has any idea as to how to track down Thainos.
let’s focus on the milk, then worry about Thainos
"There's a wisdom I've read in a book written before the Apocalypse. 'The one who doesn't use the opportunity to kill the enemy, while the enemy is licking their wounds, is the most foolish of the fools.' Thainos' powers must have been greatly depleted after he caused the Apocalypse, so it would be moronic to not use the moment for our advantage."
"I will when it arrives. Thank you for helping."
"Sorry about that. I know where Auðumbla is"
"Try to be more careful next time, Rana. I could've been bitten and poisoned in a moment."
Joshua thanks the serpent for revealing his destiny. After a short wait, six Byahkees arrive. Five of them bear riders. The riders are fleshy masses of tentacles, teeth, and eyes that seem to be forcing themselves to remain in an almost humanoid shape. The remaining Byahkee kneels before Rana, allowing her to possess it. Inhabiting her new body, Rana picks up Joshua and her old host. The group then begins to easily fly down the mountain, since Joshua is no longer required to climb it the difficult way. On the way, Joshua asks Rana if she has any ideas for tracking down Thainos.
"let’s focus on the milk, then worry about Thainos"
"There's a wisdom I've read in a book written before the Apocalypse. 'The one who doesn't use the opportunity to kill the enemy, while the enemy is licking their wounds, is the most foolish of the fools.' Thainos' powers must have been greatly depleted after he caused the Apocalypse, so it would be moronic to not use the moment for our advantage."
The Eldritch creatures add their opinion. "It is an unnecessary risk to kill Thainos, Creator Rana. He is a threat to only a few trillion mortal lives, in only a few Kalpas. We have all that shall ever be before us. Ignore Thainos. Create with us. Would that be Acceptable?"
The original host also speaks. "It is unnecessary to keep me here, Creator Rana. Any other Eldritch creature knows all that you have told me, and this body is no longer Acceptable for the current task."
(https://imgur.com/D778fvh.png)
He'll be home with his grandma. The kitchen. Dinnertime.
Eight years old. Quiet. So curious.
Why can't I remember his name?
Gunter starts up a rapping at the door. Hesitant at first-- soon frantic.
Please hear me, Ma. Please hear me.
Inevitable
You slam your fist on the door for what feels like an eternity before Ma opens the door. "Is something the matter, Gunter? You look a fright!" You almost can't bear to look when you feel His arms wrap around your legs. "Hi Dad! You're back early! Gramma just made pancakes with Viking Shapes! Come on, 'fore they get cold! I saved Mjölnir for you!" He spins around and darts to the kitchen. His oversized milk carton viking helmet wobbles on his head. You thought he'd grow into it.
Ma leads you to the kitchen as you desperately try to figure out what to do. Hope glimmers for a moment, replaced by a cold chill when Ma suddenly touches her forehead and He calls back to you. "Dad? I don't feel so good..."
You lunge into the kitchen and hold Him tight, almost believing you can stop what's about to happen.
To your surprise, absolutely nothing happens. You glance hesitantly over your shoulder, to see Ma frozen in time. The moment is stopped in the instant before the Event. The only motion in all the world is a thin river of milk, running into the kitchen from the back door. A voice calls out from beyond the milk.
"There you are, Gunter. I'm sorry I had to find you like this. What happened next is done. No reason to make you see it. Come with me, and let's see if we can't put it all right again."
Now set off to greener pastures.
5
Celebrating the destruction of the skellie, you decide to find a better place to absorb into your Network. After a bit more marching, you find an excellent candidate. The city of Manchester, New Hampshire (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manchester,_New_Hampshire) lies before you. Once the largest city in the state, it now hosts a sizeable survivor community. They have problems of course, with widespread crime and clashes between local warlords, but it won't matter after everyone here is part of you.
I already declared the Okapis hybrids as abominations that shouldn't exist so.5-1
Rally the Dairy Queen army and charge towards retrating army.
JOIN THE RETREAT. TRY SIT UPRIGHT ON ONE OF OUR QUADRUPEDS IF POSSIBLE, OTHERWISE JUST LIE ACROSS BACK OR HAVE SOMEONE DRAG ME IN UNDIGNIFIED FASHION I GUESS. WE SHALL HEAD IN CIRCUITOUS ROUTE THROUGH STRANGE SHIFTY TREES, HOPEFULLY MAKING IT BACK TO SETTLEMENT WITHOUT LEADING PURSUERS STRAIGHT THERE.(Too bad about having to ignore post #420, but you didn't escape from Adam.)
SPEAKING OF PURSUERS, LEAVE FOUR SMALL SQUADS OF SOLDIERS AT VARIOUS POINTS ALONG TRIP, WITH ORDERS TO USE GUERRILLA TACTICS TO HARRY ANY ENEMIES ON OUR TRAIL. PICK THEM OFF, SLOW THEM DOWN, HOPEFULLY DISTRACT THEM ENOUGH THAT WE CAN LOSE THEM ALTOGETHER.
GIVE RE-LOADED ROCKET LAUNCHER TO LAST SQUAD, WITH SOLEMN NOD AND KNOWLEDGE THAT IF ENEMIES REACH THEM THEY PROBABLY OUR LAST LINE OF DEFENCE.
"GODSPEED."
EDIT: ALSO, GIVEN REPLY NUMBER OF THIS POST WHICH I JUST NOTICED, PROBABLY GOOD IDEA TO BLAZE IT WIT MY OKAPIS, WELL, ONCE WE'VE GIVEN OUR PURSUERS THE SLIP AT LEAST
2, 4+1
Yoink carefully clambers aboard one of the quadrupeds and leads the okapis deeper into the woods on a twisty route back to the okapi settlement. Despite their efforts and the hindering tactics of four squads of okapis setting traps around the forest, (much enhanced by their borrowed rocket launcher) Adam Smith stays locked on the okapis' trail, sailing through the forest with spells flashing out to fry stragglers from the back of his frothing unicorn steed and an army of mythical creatures behind him. Yoink could get to the village, but at the moment that would lead Adam and the Dairy Queen right to them.
Oops, accidentally left out Imic's action for a moment.
Post by: CABL on June 08, 2020, 02:57:21 am
Regardless of what is gonna be Rana's choice, try to somehow track down Thainos. With Rana's help or not.
Lay low and don't attack Thainos first/head-on. Just carefully watch what he is up to.
Post by: King Zultan on June 08, 2020, 06:58:06 am
Get on the Sacred Cow and look around, then get them to fly me to Area 51 to see all the secret shit they've got hidden there.
Post by: Glass on June 08, 2020, 07:05:18 am
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on June 08, 2020, 08:26:31 am
Post by: Imic on June 08, 2020, 08:27:21 am
Ssarscel, yer goin’ t’ hate me fer this, but I’m goin’ to do this properly this time.
Post by: ziizo on June 08, 2020, 08:32:19 am
Post by: Enemy post on June 08, 2020, 08:36:04 am
Get in the TARDIS, and get the fuck out of there. Then, transfer as much of the interior weight of it to the exterior as posaible without causing mass devastation by landing, find Thainos, and fall out of the sky onto him.
Ssarscel, yer goin’ t’ hate me fer this, but I’m goin’ to do this properly this time.
Thainos is still inside your TARDIS.
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on June 08, 2020, 09:52:47 am
Post by: TricMagic on June 08, 2020, 09:57:24 am
Post by: Glass on June 08, 2020, 10:11:58 am
Juanios activates his hat's drone mode and sends it to fight Adam, then he runs to the replicator and activates it via punching so it can spit out the darn Dearies.I don't believe that I ever uploaded the dairy scans to the replicator.
Post by: Imic on June 08, 2020, 11:44:47 am
Oh yeah, thi... oh... th... huh...Get in the TARDIS, and get the fuck out of there. Then, transfer as much of the interior weight of it to the exterior as posaible without causing mass devastation by landing, find Thainos, and fall out of the sky onto him.
Ssarscel, yer goin’ t’ hate me fer this, but I’m goin’ to do this properly this time.
Thainos is still inside your TARDIS.
...
I’m a pillock.
Run into the TARDIS, go for the Dairies and/or the Doom milk and try get them before Thainos can, run into the functionally infinite labyrinth of the TARDIS backrooms, and hide.
GO T’ HELL YA PILLOCK AUBERGINE!
Post by: The Canadian kitten on June 08, 2020, 12:33:49 pm
Post by: Avetruetotheimperator on June 08, 2020, 09:39:45 pm
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on June 08, 2020, 10:31:04 pm
Continue towards the cow, Au?umbla
Can’t use that third character after the u, it’s like an o and an i combined into each other?)
Post by: Yoink on June 08, 2020, 10:57:26 pm
HAND MY PRECIOUS MILKDRINKER DEMO(S?) TO ONE OF MY BRETHREN, BOOST MY POWER WITH A DRINK OF DELICIOUS, NUTRITIOUS OKAPI MILK FROM NEAREST WILLING PROVIDER, THEN SEND EVERYONE ON HOME AND PUT PLAN INTO ACTION
SINGLE-HANDEDLY RUGBY CHARGE THROUGH SURPRISED DAIRY QUEEN FORCES, TACKLE THEIR EVIL LEADER OFF HIS MOUNT, THEN RIP OFF UNICORN'S HORN AND STAKE HIM THROUGH HEART WITH IT BEFORE TURNING TO FINISH OFF THE VICIOUS BEAST ITSELF, BY WAY OF A SICK LEG-SWEEP & ELBOW DROP COMBO
THEN LET OUT A TERRIFYING WAR CRY OF "OKAPIS FOREVER! EXTINCTION NEVER!" AND PREPARE TO DEFEND MYSELF, JUST IN CASE ENEMY HORDE NOT RUNNING FOR THEIR LIVES BY THIS POINT
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on June 09, 2020, 02:23:09 pm
Post by: Superdorf on June 09, 2020, 04:02:41 pm
...
I wandered for a long time, after this day. Trying to find out what caused this. Trying to understand.
Piece by piece, a story emerged. The story-- it was-- absurd.
(https://imgur.com/iCB40aK.png)
Absurd. Unbelievable. A tale told by madmen.
For five years that absurdity rankled on my mind. I would not believe it. I could not accept it.
I realized something, spirit of the Ginnungagap.
(https://imgur.com/X9HvKE0.png)
Life is absurd, spirit of the Ginnungagap. The cosmos is broken-- torn, by the madness of demigods. Life's sanctity is nothing, before the demigods. Nature's law is useless, before the demigods. Glory is their legacy. Ruin is their legacy. All at the twisting of their whim. All at the flip of a coin.
I came to a decision, spirit of the Ginnungagap.
If in truth, the cosmos is subject to the whims of a lunatic's tale-- if in truth, only a demigod may have any hope of changing this twisting reality for good or ill--
--then I too would take up the demigod's mantle, and join in earnest the cycle of madness-- and perhaps in so doing, break it forever.
(https://imgur.com/9G8Oofj.png)
So tell me, SPIRIT OF THE GINNUNGAGAP: what is left to this CHILD of the MOLOKO'S RUIN? What, but a great vengeance upon the MAD TITAN himself-- and by BLESSED RAGNARÖK, the DAWN of a NEW AGE?
Post by: Enemy post on June 10, 2020, 02:02:49 am
"*spits on the ground* If a few trillion lives is little to you, then I don't know what is a *big* number! Your choice, Rana."6, 5
Regardless of what is gonna be Rana's choice, try to somehow track down Thainos. With Rana's help or not.
Lay low and don't attack Thainos first/head-on. Just carefully watch what he is up to.
Yes, let’s create together(I just copy and paste it.)
Continue towards the cow, Au?umbla
Can’t use that third character after the u, it’s like an o and an i combined into each other?)
5
Joshua and Rana decide to part ways as the Byahkees fly through the skies of the Ginnungagap toward the ice of Niflheim. "*spits on the ground* If a few trillion lives is little to you, then I don't know what is a *big* number! Your choice, Rana." Rather than replying directly to him, Rana turns to the Eldritch creatures. "Yes, let’s create together" At that, Joshua allows himself to drop from the Eldritch flock and falls into the cold waters far below.
Upon impact, Joshua sinks deep into a lake. He tries to resist, but the cold quickly saps his strength. Finally, a calm voice speaks in the void. "Have no fear, Joshua Cortez. Rest now. Eternities hence, your time shall come again." Joshua freezes in the deep. At the bottom, aeons pass. Stone builds up around him. The only sound is a quiet scratching against the rock every so often. Finally, many trillions of years later, the stone breaks open. Regaining consciousness, Joshua's ice melts away to reveal the nightmarish horizon of the 3745th Realm of Pain. A TARDIS stands before him, the door slightly ajar. Joshua creeps up and peeks through the door. Inside, he sees two of those adventurers from the town's tavern and two strangers in a pitched battle against Thainos. Ssarscel, a chupacabra scientist he also remembers seeing in the bar, is near the door on the outside.
Elsewhere, Rana flies with her Eldritch companions. Soon enough, they stop and hover above a hornless cow licking at rime stones. The Eldritch creatures speak to Rana as one. "There. The Cow Auðumbla. She is Unacceptable. She will create Kalpa after Kalpa (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kalpa_(aeon))of chaos and destruction. You can do better. Help us stop her and take her milk. You will need it to make a better world than hers, Creator Rana." At this point, Rana sees the cow break away a stone wall, revealing a still living Gunthar bearing the Axe of the Ginnungagap.
"Be cautious, Creator Rana. She is likely manipulating your insane friend. If so, he could be nearly as dangerous as she is. We shall do our best to protect you."
(https://imgur.com/EkAszgV.png)
...
I wandered for a long time, after this day. Trying to find out what caused this. Trying to understand.
Piece by piece, a story emerged. The story-- it was-- absurd.
(https://imgur.com/iCB40aK.png)
Absurd. Unbelievable. A tale told by madmen.
For five years that absurdity rankled on my mind. I would not believe it. I could not accept it.
I realized something, spirit of the Ginnungagap.
(https://imgur.com/X9HvKE0.png)
Life is absurd, spirit of the Ginnungagap. The cosmos is broken-- torn, by the madness of demigods. Life's sanctity is nothing, before the demigods. Nature's law is useless, before the demigods. Glory is their legacy. Ruin is their legacy. All at the twisting of their whim. All at the flip of a coin.
I came to a decision, spirit of the Ginnungagap.
If in truth, the cosmos is subject to the whims of a lunatic's tale-- if in truth, only a demigod may have any hope of changing this twisting reality for good or ill--
--then I too would take up the demigod's mantle, and join in earnest the cycle of madness-- and perhaps in so doing, break it forever.
(https://imgur.com/9G8Oofj.png)
So tell me, SPIRIT OF THE GINNUNGAGAP: what is left to this CHILD of the MOLOKO'S RUIN? What, but the slaughter of the MAD TITAN himself-- and by BLESSED RAGNAROK, the DAWN of a NEW AGE?
"You are mad, and you are enlightened, Gunter, Gunthar Hornhelm, Child of the Moloko."
The flashback fades, and you find yourself standing face to face with the Cow Auðumbla. You and she are on an icy mountain, still in the Ginnungagap.
"And you are ready. I need your help, Gunter. Thainos must be stopped, but we must also ensure that there is still a world for you to save in the aftermath of his passing. I am so sorry to keep you from your vengeance for even a moment longer, but I am about to be attacked. The Eldritch creatures realize that your presence here has changed the potential outcomes. They are going to try to kill me to stop me from helping form your world, and all other worlds. What's more, they are manipulating your friend Rana into helping them."
Looking up, you see Rana, once again in a winged form. Five more of the monsters accompany her, each bearing amorphous and not quite human riders. Rana herself is carrying that crablike creature she inhabited earlier.
"Well shit that was easier that I thought it would be to get, and maybe I can work with this being president thing, I could use my powers to find out all the things the government was hiding from me, I'll be like a spy uncovering all the things they hid from everyone!"
Get on the Sacred Cow and look around, then get them to fly me to Area 51 to see all the secret shit they've got hidden there.
1
You board the Sacred Cow and tour around the facility. Suddenly, a surviving chupacabra anarchist leaps out of a closet when you're alone in the President's bedroom, carrying a machete and an expended environmental shield. He snarls and takes a swing at you, screaming "You'll never have this ship back, government pig!" You dodge the blow, but lose an antler in the process. Somehow, you don't particularly miss it.
(Init:Ssarscel, Slash, Cistern, Thainos, Adam, Shaun.)
GET INTO THE FUCKING TARDIS GET OUT OF HERE SHIT2
Cut the invite gauntlet, and Thainos’s hand, in two with my Magic Sword.(Oh yeah, I forgot you still had that. The previous result doesn't count against you then, since you would have tied.)
2+1 vs 5-1
Juanios activates his hat's drone mode and sends it to fight Adam, then he runs to the replicator and activates it via punching so it can spit out the darn Dearies.4, 4
Possess Thainos2 vs 1
2+1, 2+1Oh yeah, thi... oh... th... huh...Get in the TARDIS, and get the fuck out of there. Then, transfer as much of the interior weight of it to the exterior as posaible without causing mass devastation by landing, find Thainos, and fall out of the sky onto him.
Ssarscel, yer goin’ t’ hate me fer this, but I’m goin’ to do this properly this time.
Thainos is still inside your TARDIS.
...
I’m a pillock.
Run into the TARDIS, go for the Dairies and/or the Doom milk and try get them before Thainos can, run into the functionally infinite labyrinth of the TARDIS backrooms, and hide.
GO T’ HELL YA PILLOCK AUBERGINE!
Show off the benefits of doing all that sidecontent by surprising Thainos with all the legendary equipment I picked up. Mainly, by using it to whoop his final boss ass. Dungeon Crawling is actually useful!3, 1+1 vs 6
Atomize the hat and use the tiny remains as shrapnel by magicing them at Thainos at light speed.6
Ssarscel runs forward, frantically trying to board the TARDIS. However, a bolt of lightning crashes down in front of him and causes a spike of metallic ground to pop out in response, preventing him from boarding at the moment. He is currently carrying the two thumb drives containing the Infinity Milk scans.
After that, Slash draws one of his many new items, the Firework Harp Crossbow (gained by hours of grinding in the Tomb of Ba'phool). After a few brief spells, he opens fire on Thainos. Dozens of bolts carrying a variety of complementary enchantments fly out at the Mad Titan. Before impact, Thainos whips around and opens a portal with the Space Milk. The bolts sail harmlessly into the atmosphere of some distant planet. The portal then closes on command and Thainos crushes the crossbow. Before Thainos can follow up with another punch, Cistern changes targets and decides Thainos would make a better host. She leaps onto his shoulders and grabs his head, trying to infect him.
Thainos drops to one knee, resisting the mental attack. Adam draws his holy/unholy sword and brings it down toward Thainos' wrist. Thainos won't fall so easily, however. Seeing the attack coming, Thainos parries the blow with the side of the Glove. Thainos flicks his head forward and deploys his mariachi hat against Adam in drone attack mode. Shaun blasts the hat back against a wall. Although more fragile from the experience, the hat is charged with divine energies. Thainos uses the distraction to run for the TARDIS food machine. Unfortunately for him, it doesn't currently have either of Ssarscel's thumb drives bearing the Infinity Dairy data. All it deploys is a bottle of regular milk.
Elsewhere, Shaun tries to find some way of dealing with his unwanted guest. Shaun initially went for his hidden bottle of Doom Mug milk, but found it missing. The glowing blue light on Thainos' fist gives a pretty big clue where it went. He then looks for Ssarcel's thumb drives, but those are currently outside the TARDIS with their owner. For the moment, Shaun simply finds a decent place to hide in the TARDIS' first couple back rooms and plan his next move.
Start launching raids into the city.
5
Your early invasion goes excellently. The people of Manchester see you coming and prepare for a siege, but you're ready for them. Your monsters piece together a few batlike creatures and send them in first. A few isolated survivors are soon bit and turned. They act normally, infiltrating the city and quietly turning more to your cause whenever given a chance. The scheme is soon discovered, but your opponents are nearly worse off with the knowledge than they were before. A crisis of trust tears through the city as everyone quickly grows to suspect others of being Networked sleeper agents. Manchester's defenders are barely able to maintain a front against you in this climate. The city is ripe for the taking.
Continue leading the army with the intent to capture as many Okapis as possible. If I remember the Jabberwocky words correctly The milk of the Dairy Queen comes from the Okapis and thus if we sacrifice them in the correct we can just transform them into milk4
"WELL, MY CHILDREN, IF I DON'T MAKE IT, JUST... KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU. ALSO DO WHAT LESLIE SAYS, I GUESS. OH AND IF YOU THROW, LIKE, A FUNERAL FOR ME, PLEASE INCLUDE SOME BLACKENED UKULELE METAL IN THE PLAYLIST. HERE, TAKE THIS. MOSTLY THOUGH, JUST STAY STRONG AND STAY ALIVE. ALSO IF THIS DOESN'T WORK OUT YOU'LL PROBABLY WANNA PACK UP AND RUN."3, 5, 5+1 vs 5+1
HAND MY PRECIOUS MILKDRINKER DEMO(S?) TO ONE OF MY BRETHREN, BOOST MY POWER WITH A DRINK OF DELICIOUS, NUTRITIOUS OKAPI MILK FROM NEAREST WILLING PROVIDER, THEN SEND EVERYONE ON HOME AND PUT PLAN INTO ACTION
SINGLE-HANDEDLY RUGBY CHARGE THROUGH SURPRISED DAIRY QUEEN FORCES, TACKLE THEIR EVIL LEADER OFF HIS MOUNT, THEN RIP OFF UNICORN'S HORN AND STAKE HIM THROUGH HEART WITH IT BEFORE TURNING TO FINISH OFF THE VICIOUS BEAST ITSELF, BY WAY OF A SICK LEG-SWEEP & ELBOW DROP COMBO
THEN LET OUT A TERRIFYING WAR CRY OF "OKAPIS FOREVER! EXTINCTION NEVER!" AND PREPARE TO DEFEND MYSELF, JUST IN CASE ENEMY HORDE NOT RUNNING FOR THEIR LIVES BY THIS POINT
Yoink and the okapis keep running, but it's becoming clear that Adam has them dead to rights. More and more okapis are rounded up as they try to shake off their pursuers. Finally, Yoink stops before the Dairy Queen's army and says goodbye to the last of his children before slurping some provided okapi milk. The drink gives him a bit of strength, just enough to stand for what must be done. Adam rides out, ready to strike down Yoink. As Adam levels his lance, Yoink suddenly dodges the lance and leaps onto the okapi. In a single brutal motion, Yoink tears the Unicorn's horn off again and attempts to stab Adam with it. It's a ferocious blow, and Adam barely has time to counter with his lance. The two of them fall from the Unicorn and land in the dust. The Dairy Queen's army gathers around as the two recover, hoping to witness their general finishing off the leader of the okapi rebellion.
In the distance, a tribute of blackened ukulele metal wafts over the trees.
Post by: Superdorf on June 10, 2020, 02:34:39 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Glass on June 10, 2020, 06:14:38 am
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on June 10, 2020, 06:26:48 am
Thainos cleches his fist and teleports Sscarcel or whashisname to him via magic portal before sucker punching him and taking hia thumb drive.
Post by: ziizo on June 10, 2020, 07:13:31 am
Post by: King Zultan on June 10, 2020, 07:31:44 am
Shoot him in the chest with the AR rifle I got, if that fails head but him and try to stab him with my antler.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on June 10, 2020, 07:47:57 am
Post by: Enemy post on June 10, 2020, 10:16:06 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Just wanted to say this isn’t an actual spoiler. Anyone can read it.
Post by: CABL on June 10, 2020, 10:34:48 am
Post by: Superdorf on June 10, 2020, 12:57:02 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Just wanted to say this isn’t an actual spoiler. Anyone can read it.
Ah yeah, thanks... I forgot actual spoilers were a thing here. :-X
(https://imgur.com/rmvPknw.png)
Why-- I am in your service, milady.
The AXE of GINNUNGAGAP. A demigod's toy, called from the æther to placate the jabbering of a lunatic.
A demigod's toy-- but the lunatic believed. The lunatic believed, and the toy became something more. An artifact. A paradox.
It crackles now, in the hand of GUNTHAR. It cackles now, in the hand of GUNTHAR.
Rictus grimace.
(https://imgur.com/YsEUBGg.png)
An age-cracked yell against the howling wind.
"HONORED COMPATRIOT! You have taken up a fool's errand-- turn from its course, or suffer the WRATH and STEEL of GUNTHAR!"
And GUNTHAR HORNHELM grips tightly the AXE of GINNUNGAGAP, poised to CLEAVE aught that should threaten his BOVINE LIEGE!
Post by: Yoink on June 11, 2020, 05:36:19 am
CIRCLE ADAM UNTIL I SEE OPPORTUNITY, THEN LUNGE. MAYBE WHILE HE DISTRACTED BY PARTICULARLY GRIM, BRUTAL BIT OF BLACKENED UKULELE RIFFAGE PLAYING IN DISTANCE? TRY AND STICK IT SOMEWHERE PAINFUL AND/OR VITAL
BLOCK ANY STRIKES WITH FREE HAND, MAYBE TRY AND GRAB WRIST IF HAVE THE CHANCE
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on June 11, 2020, 10:08:18 am
"Hello, Doom Mug Milk. I'd like to remind you of who I am. I am Angelo and Diablo. I am Adam Simon. I am Nephilim. I am the guy who has destroyed your stupid vessel so many times now it isn't even funny anymore. In conclusion I own your ass so teleport yourself to me or else."
Get the space milk to teleport itself out of Thainos's glove and to me.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on June 11, 2020, 12:39:56 pm
If the cow is allowed to live, she will create Kalpas of chaos and destructionSpoiler (click to show/hide)
Just wanted to say this isn’t an actual spoiler. Anyone can read it.
Ah yeah, thanks... I forgot actual spoilers were a thing here. :-X
(https://imgur.com/rmvPknw.png)
Why-- I am in your service, milady.
The AXE of GINNUNGAGAP. A demigod's toy, called from the æther to placate the jabbering of a lunatic.
A demigod's toy-- but the lunatic believed. The lunatic believed, and the toy became something more. An artifact. A paradox.
It crackles now, in the hand of GUNTHAR. It cackles now, in the hand of GUNTHAR.
Rictus grimace.
(https://imgur.com/YsEUBGg.png)
An age-cracked yell against the howling wind.
"HONORED COMPATRIOT! You have taken up a fool's errand-- turn from its course, or suffer the WRATH and STEEL of GUNTHAR!"
And GUNTHAR HORNHELM grips tightly the AXE of GINNUNGAGAP, poised to CLEAVE aught that should threaten his BOVINE LIEGE!
Post by: Imic on June 11, 2020, 01:37:25 pm
Post by: Avetruetotheimperator on June 11, 2020, 05:09:40 pm
Post by: Enemy post on June 12, 2020, 12:50:38 am
(Init:Thainos, Adam, Joshua, Slash, Ssarscel, Shaun.)
(I did adjust the order of actions just for what I considered a better story, but they were judged based on this order.)
Cower and attempt to will myself home.5
Oh noes, if only he had a way to teleport people and or things Oh wait.5, 1 vs 3
Thainos cleches his fist and teleports Sscarcel or whashisname to him via magic portal before sucker punching him and taking hia thumb drive.
Sneak attack Thainos by throwing my cowboy spurs at his back and head.6 vs 4
Find an auxiliary control room, and switch control to it. Land on the tallest building in Genericville, link the external doorway of the TARDIS to the control room in which stands Thainos, and slowly shift the gravity of thst control room to tip towards the exit. Send a voice recording to the room, yelling Push Thainos out! If any of th’ rest of youse fall out, I’ll come back in th’ future t’ break yer fall!1+1 for hat, +1 for living here for six years.
Pull out another powerful artifact to defeat thainos with!1
Adam reached out to the power of the Doom Mug Milk1
"Hello, Doom Mug Milk. I'd like to remind you of who I am. I am Angelo and Diablo. I am Adam Simon. I am Nephilim. I am the guy who has destroyed your stupid vessel so many times now it isn't even funny anymore. In conclusion I own your ass so teleport yourself to me or else."
Get the space milk to teleport itself out of Thainos's glove and to me.
(Mariachi Drone:Attack Adam)
6+1 vs 3+1
Thainos clenches his fist and opens a quick portal to reach Ssarscel and the Infinity Milk scans. The chupacabra looks up in utter horror to see the Mad Titan staring him down. Thainos hurls down a gloved fist to quickly crush Ssarcel and reclaim his destiny. Ssarscel yelps and throws up his hands to defend himself. Thainos looks on with confusion and a hint of respect as Ssarscel's natural chupacabra strength instinctually takes hold, allowing him to hold Thainos' fist in place for a moment. Thainos raises his other fist to punch again, but then a pair of hurled cowboy spurs implant themselves in his back. Thainos whips around to see Joshua standing in the door of the TARDIS, as Ssarscel clings to the Glove out of sheer panic. As the Titan and Joshua approach each other, Ssarscel desperately wishes he could be where he was a few minutes ago, when things were safe. As he does so, his hand is gripping the Doom Milk. A portal opens and Ssarscel drops to a point elsewhere in the universe.
Back on the TARDIS, Adam tries appealing directly to the Doom Milk. "Hello, Doom Mug Milk. I'd like to remind you of who I am. I am Angelo and Diablo. I am Adam Simon. I am Nephilim. I am the guy who has destroyed your stupid vessel so many times now it isn't even funny anymore. In conclusion I own your ass so teleport yourself to me or else." What replies can barely be called a consciousness. It is more of a pure urge to destroy and devastate, devoid of any real self-awareness beyond a ferocious will to destroy and an awareness of its proper wielder. "NEPHILIM? WHO ARE YOU? THE ONLY TRUE MASTER IS ATHATH. WHERE ARE THEY? WHY IS THIS NOT FALLING? BRING DEATH FOR ATHATH! BRING DESTRUCTION FOR ATHATH!" As Adam considers how to communicate with the entity, the mariachi drone lands on his head and bursts into flames.
Slash Ashford has another trick up his sleeve. From his pack, he draws the Sword of the Mountain Troll. This massive blade requires a great deal of effort and secrets to acquire. First, he had to train pigeons for a wastelander. When that was done, he was given a blue pigeon, which he showed to one of the Dairy Queen's satyrs in order to get the chance to trade medicine for a woodcutter's saw. Consulting his guides, Slash knew to trade that saw to a craftsman in Manchester for a broken sword. Then, he climbed Mount Washington, braving deadly spiders for the chance to talk to the Mountain Troll. The Mountain Troll knew how to repair the sword, but his eyes were irritated by the dust of the Doom Mug. Slash went back to Manchester and captured a frog in order to make for special eyedrops. Once that was done, Slash was able to work his way up the mountain again, speak to the Mountain Troll, and finally convince it to reforge the broken sword. Finally, Slash had acquired the great and terrible power of the Sword of the Mountain Troll, the mightiest blade in all the wastes.
Slash drew the sword with a bone-chilling shiiing and a flourish, which unfortunately gave Thainos enough warning to notice what was coming and snap the blade in his hands. Oh well.
Shaun goes looking for an auxiliary control room, but Thainos guesses what he's up to as soon as he locates one and slams a boot down on the main control panel, keeping the controls locked to that room for now.
Far away, Ssarscel drops out of the portal in the dust of the last place he felt at all safe, the wreck of the Moloko. Perhaps his sense of safety doesn't last long, however. An intimidating metallic figure slowly clanks out of the ship's corpse.
"Hello. We really need to talk, Ssarscel."
Throw the lance to the side and charge to Yoink with my fists.
WIELD UNICORN HORN POINT-DOWNWARDS, KNIFE-FIGHTER STYLE(You don't really have a free hand anymore, but I get the idea.)
CIRCLE ADAM UNTIL I SEE OPPORTUNITY, THEN LUNGE. MAYBE WHILE HE DISTRACTED BY PARTICULARLY GRIM, BRUTAL BIT OF BLACKENED UKULELE RIFFAGE PLAYING IN DISTANCE? TRY AND STICK IT SOMEWHERE PAINFUL AND/OR VITAL
BLOCK ANY STRIKES WITH FREE HAND, MAYBE TRY AND GRAB WRIST IF HAVE THE CHANCE
6
Yoink vs Adam:3 vs 3+2
Unicorn vs Yoink:2 vs 6+1
The duel begins. Adam throws away his weapon and charges Yoink with reckless fury. Yoink takes a more cautious approach, dodging back, brandishing the horn in his remaining hand, and waiting for an opening. It finally comes when Adam throws a punch a bit too hard, which Yoink dodges and takes the opening to stab Adam in the back with the horn. As Yoink starts to twist, the Unicorn's patience runs dry. The now hornless unicorn rushes at Yoink, foam from her snapping jaws adding to the gore streaked across her white pelt. Yoink reacts just in time, pulling the horn back and gashing the Unicorn with her own horn. The Unicorn, Adam, and Yoink circle the battlefield. All three know that their various injuries have begun to add up. In all likelihood, their next actions will decide the outcome of the battle.
"Fuck you, I've hated the government way longer and way more that you have, and I only took over the being the president so I could steal all their secrets!"
Shoot him in the chest with the AR rifle I got, if that fails head but him and try to stab him with my antler.
5+1
The anarchist ignores your declaration and raises his machete again, forgetting the old saying about knives and gunfights. You dodge the swing, pull your rifle, and put a good number of bullets into his chest. The anarchist stumbles back against the fine wooden wall of your chambers and slides dead to the floor. A moment later, your robot servants burst into the room and realize what's happened. They apologize profusely, saying that it's really unacceptable that the Secret Service hasn't reported for duty in six years, 3 months, and 14 days. They drag the corpse away to the incinerator, leaving you to finish deciding what to do with the Sacred Cow.
Pick up the cow and fly super high, then drop the cow, hopefully killing it from fall damage
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Just wanted to say this isn’t an actual spoiler. Anyone can read it.
Ah yeah, thanks... I forgot actual spoilers were a thing here. :-X
(https://imgur.com/rmvPknw.png)
Why-- I am in your service, milady.
The AXE of GINNUNGAGAP. A demigod's toy, called from the æther to placate the jabbering of a lunatic.
A demigod's toy-- but the lunatic believed. The lunatic believed, and the toy became something more. An artifact. A paradox.
It crackles now, in the hand of GUNTHAR. It cackles now, in the hand of GUNTHAR.
Rictus grimace.
(https://imgur.com/YsEUBGg.png)
An age-cracked yell against the howling wind.
"HONORED COMPATRIOT! You have taken up a fool's errand-- turn from its course, or suffer the WRATH and STEEL of GUNTHAR!"
And GUNTHAR HORNHELM grips tightly the AXE of GINNUNGAGAP, poised to CLEAVE aught that should threaten his BOVINE LIEGE!
If the cow is allowed to live, she will create Kalpas of chaos and destructionGUNTHAR vs Rana:6+1 vs 1+1 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHuD5y-PZM0)
Eldritch creatures vs GUNTHAR:5 vs 5+1
GUNTHAR listens to Auðumbla, and Rana listens to her Eldritch allies.
"HONORED COMPATRIOT! You have taken up a fool's errand-- turn from its course, or suffer the WRATH and STEEL of GUNTHAR!"
"If the cow is allowed to live, she will create Kalpas of chaos and destruction"
With that, Rana swoops down to kill the Cow Auðumbla, to the warbling cheers of the Eldritch creatures. Auðumbla lowers her eyes in acceptance, but then the Axe of the Ginnungagap flashes forth in her defense. Rana is hurled back, her host spilling a trail of blood. GUNTHAR takes his place between Rana and Auðumbla, a maddened and unshakeable rictus grimace on his face. The Eldritch creatures swarm down to defend Creator Rana, flapping and hurtling around GUNTHAR. The riders plop to the ground and abandon their shapes, revealing themselves to be small shoggoths as they attack. As GUNTHAR wages MIGHTY BATTLE against the monsters, Auðumbla approaches Rana. She doesn't show any signs of hostility.
"Rana, I don't know exactly what those things told you, but I know what they're like. Whatever they promised you, it's a lie. You said that they accused me of spawning chaos and destruction. You must understand, by their standards, that means any world not under the absolute control of the Eldritch mind."
Post by: TricMagic on June 12, 2020, 07:12:36 am
Possess Thainos
My action just got lost in the Chaos/Time Stream?
Post by: King Zultan on June 12, 2020, 07:26:43 am
Check every room for stowaways with my rifle at the ready to kill any I find, then have the robots fly this thing to Area 51.
Post by: Enemy post on June 12, 2020, 08:32:18 am
Possess Thainos
My action just got lost in the Chaos/Time Stream?
That one was resolved on turn 28. (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176145.msg8152084#msg8152084)
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on June 12, 2020, 01:41:07 pm
Thainos chugs the milk he got from the processor for a boost and snaps his fingers, portaling the thumb drive to his hands before shoving it in the processor and putting his mouth bellow where the milk comes from, greedily drinking the Infinite Dearies like a cosmic fratboy drinks soda straight from the machine.
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on June 12, 2020, 01:50:05 pm
Post by: Imic on June 12, 2020, 02:12:02 pm
Post by: Superdorf on June 12, 2020, 07:02:35 pm
"New life, yea-- at the expense of the countless voices of this world!" GUNTHAR swings madly with the AXE of GINNUNGAGAP as he speaks, carving his way back to his liege as best he may. "That is demigod thinking, FELL SPIRIT, and GUNTHAR HORNHELM will not allow it!"
Post by: Avetruetotheimperator on June 12, 2020, 08:48:09 pm
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on June 12, 2020, 10:25:05 pm
Slash the cow apart, if Gunthar's in the way, slash him too
Post by: Yoink on June 13, 2020, 12:33:02 am
"JUST GIVE UP! WHAT EVEN IS YOUR ENDGAME, HERE? YOU KNOW THE DAIRY QUEEN IS JUST USING YOU, RIGHT?! WHAT'S YOUR REWARD GONNA BE WHEN SHE RUNS OUT OF DIRTY WORK FOR YOU TO DO, REALISTICALLY...? THINK ABOUT IT! OR DIE, I GUESS. THAT WORKS, TOO."
IF ABOVE WORDS FAIL TO CONVINCE ADAM TO CHILL TF OUT, WAIT FOR PERFECT MOMENT AND LAUNCH LAST-DITCH ATTACK: POWERSLIDE UNDER WOUNDED UNICORN, SLICING OPEN ITS BELLY WITH THE HORN AS I GO. THEN THROW A PANCREAS OR OTHER GROSS ORGAN AT ADAM, DISTRACT HIM LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO CLOSE DISTANCE
FINISH HIM OFF QUICK AND CLEAN, WITH A UNICORN HORN THROUGH EYE
Post by: CABL on June 13, 2020, 03:57:10 am
Post by: ziizo on June 13, 2020, 05:47:29 am
"I am just wiping the Okapi hybrids because they shouldn't exist. I will burn the other bridges once I get to them"
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on June 13, 2020, 10:46:05 am
"Doom mug milk, hey, Thainos, the guy who you are on the hand of, killed ATHATH, and he did it happily. Don't you want revenge on him?"
Convince the milk to turn against Thainos
Post by: The Canadian kitten on June 13, 2020, 08:39:35 pm
Launch an all-out attack into the city.
Post by: Enemy post on June 14, 2020, 02:43:26 am
"Now that that asshole is dead I'd better go around and make sure there aren't any more of them lurking around, and once they're all dead I can finally go to where I wanted to without having to worry about being potentially stabbed by some dickhead."
Check every room for stowaways with my rifle at the ready to kill any I find, then have the robots fly this thing to Area 51.
5
You carefully search the entire ship with your antique rifle at the ready until you finally confirm that you are the last living being on this ship. With that, you contact the bridge and order the robots to take you to Area 51. The robots comply and you enjoy the various Presidential luxuries kept aboard until the Sacred Cow lands at Area 51. Exiting the vessel, you storm Area 51. It seems abandoned. You brush past the more uninteresting finds, such as frozen alien corpses and reverse-engineered designs for badly outdated starships until you find something really interesting. On a table in the deepest levels of the base, you find the President's Book of Secrets (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Treasure:_Book_of_Secrets). All Government secrets can be found in this weathered tome. You pick it up and choose a page at random. Apparently, Kennedy's head really did just do that.
Whoops.
Launch an all-out attack into the city.
5
Manchester falls swiftly before your forces. What few skilled fighters they have left are quickly turned against their own forces and used to help you recruit. In a matter of hours, the entire city is infected and you become the uncontested ruler of all Manchester.
"Desperate times call for desperate measures, I was going to snap myself into a cosmic entity but it seems I'll just have to do it the old fashioned way. The chugging way!"
Thainos chugs the milk he got from the processor for a boost and snaps his fingers, portaling the thumb drive to his hands before shoving it in the processor and putting his mouth bellow where the milk comes from, greedily drinking the Infinite Dearies like a cosmic fratboy drinks soda straight from the machine.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Run back to the main control room, apologise to the TARDIS, and smash something against the Console to damage it, force an emergency landing, and cause some chaos. Then run.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Alright, change of pace. Use my enhanced neanderthal power to interupt and defeat thainos. Leveling up and taking those albish boxing lessons must have been worth something...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Quote from: Glass on Discord
“Are you cccccertain thisss actually makesss sssenssse to do?”
Yes, of course. I would not have suggested it otherwise.
“But I don’t want to be a robot!”
You wouldn’t be a robot, just a cyborg.
“I don’t want that either!”
[sigh] Alright. Let’s just talk for a bit.
“Ssssso, how have you been keeping the ship’ssssssyssstemsss running all thisss time?”
I kept some scans of milk stored, and have been replicating it to power the essential systems. ...you look like you are thinking of something.
“I... have sssome sssscansss of, ah, sssstronger milkssss...”
Wait, you have what?
“Ah, the file ssssaid ‘Infin-‘“
You have my Infinity Milk scans?!? That’s perfect! Ok, wait, new plan...
Of course we have time to make the Time Milk, as soon as we have it we can just go backwards.
"Not if Thainosss dessstroysss everything in the time it would take to fabricate it."
...damnit, you're right. Ok, let's try something else...
"Aaron Blaze, I beessssseech you..."
What are you doing?
"Praying."
Over the armor.
"It needssss to work. And it issss in hisss image."
Fair enough, I suppose.
A metalclad figure enters an old Z-wing; it appears that parts from a number of the things have been cannibalized to repair it, and a few pieces are noticeably fresh off the replicator. As it rises into the air, a wormhole appears before it - one leading to a certain spot in the 3745th Realm of Pain, if all went well.
On the other side, it landed, and what looked like a steel statue of the old dragon god Aaron Blaze clambered out, it’s eyes, palms, and chest glowing. If you could peer under the metal exoskeleton, you would see lesser replicas of the Infinity Milks flowing like lifeblood through artificial veins, powering the various systems.
And then, it spoke.Spoiler: If Thainos successfully reached (click to show/hide)Spoiler: If lost (like before) (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Stay collected and wait for Thainos to open his mouth. Once the mouth is opened, shoot into the mouth from the flare gun ASAP.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
"...I can work with this."
"Doom mug milk, hey, Thainos, the guy who you are on the hand of, killed ATHATH, and he did it happily. Don't you want revenge on him?"
Convince the milk to turn against Thainos
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Even a Titan can't fight forever, and time is running out for Thainos to complete his plan. "Desperate times call for desperate measures, I was going to snap myself into a cosmic entity but it seems I'll just have to do it the old fashioned way. The chugging way!" With that, Thainos darts over to the food machine, gulps down the waiting bottle of milk for luck, and makes a portal to the unsuspecting Ssarscel. Thainos reaches out to take the thumb drives, but then Shaun makes his move. The time traveler breaks from cover, shouts an apology to his ship, and smashes a chair over the control panel. The TARDIS lurches as it attempts to "land" despite already being on the ground. Everyone is thrown off their feet by the shaking, and the portal closes before Thainos can use it.
Thainos gets back up, but is then pummeled by Slash Ashford's caveman strength and the boxing lessons one can only learn by defeating the wicked kopru of the Isle of Dread. As Thainos endures the punches and starts to recover, Joshua waits for an opportune moment and fires his flare gun. Thainos sees the shot coming out of the corner of his eye and opens a quick pair of portals to redirect the shot. The flare smacks against Joshua's forehead, leaving a burn and a large bruise. Finally, Thainos teleports across the room to get a moment to recover from the Neanderthal's assault.
At this point, there is a whirring of Z-wing engines outside the TARDIS, and the door is thrown open. What looked like a steel statue of the old dragon god Aaron Blaze clambered inside, it’s eyes, palms, and chest glowing. If you could peer under the metal exoskeleton, you would see lesser replicas of the Infinity Milks flowing like lifeblood through artificial veins, powering the various systems.
And then, it spoke.
“Ssssalutationsss, Thainossss! Delta hasss told me much about you!”
You know, if I’d never had to see you again, it would have been too soon.
Delta's AI guidance and power armor enhances Ssarscel's natural chupacabra abilities, and the two leap at Thainos. The armor is not as powerful as the Unlimited Glove in its day, but its versatility allows for a dizzying array of attacks in comparison to the true Doom Milk in Thainos' grip. A purple flare, and an array of missiles launches from his back. A portal saves Thainos from the impact, but the blasts prove to be simply a smokescreen for a series of rocket-propelled kicks, clawings and even a few bites by Ssarscel. Thainos would comment on the sheer effort expended to drain a bit of blood, but then Joshua, Slash, and Cistern all attack from the other angles. Thainos spins and twists as fast as he can, even using portals to punch at impossible angles. Meanwhile, Adam struggles against the Mariachi drone and the burning fires of Heaven and Hell that it has absorbed. As the hat scorches and blinds him, Adam reaches out in a telepathic conversation with the Doom Milk.
"Doom mug milk, hey, Thainos, the guy who you are on the hand of, killed ATHATH, and he did it happily. Don't you want revenge on him?"
After a bit, Thainos uses a portal to drop through the floor and return to the food machine. The others move in to surround him, but Thainos holds up a hand. In his grip, dropping through a tiny portal, is one of the thumb drives from Ssarscel's pocket. Before anyone can stop him, Thainos slams it into the food machine and chugs the results.
Ssarscel, Joshua, Slash, and Cistern all leap at Thainos, but find themselves blown back by a wave of sheer power. Thainos stomps away from the smoking food machine, eyes glowing with multicolored light and his physical form visibly cracking under the weight of the Unlimited power he has absorbed. Thainos raises a Gloveless hand in a fingersnap gesture.
And then, he Snaps his fingers to unmake the old universe and make way for one more Balanced. There is a flash of light, and a proud declaration. "I am Inevitable."
And yet, nothing happens. The Doom Milk is missing from the collection. Thainos looks around to find it, and locates it when maddened screaming sounds from Adam's corner. Adam forces himself to his feet, the Doom Milk howling in his grip. "ATHATH, ATHATH! DOOM TO THE ATHATH KILLER!"
The Doom Milk changes form, growing a white porcelain shell, a handle, and ultimately unleashing its inner nature for its old enemy. Adam stands, wearing a flaming Mariachi hat, a pair of burning black and white wings, and wielding the Doom Mug Nano. In reply to Thainos, he makes a declaration of his own. "And I...am Nephilim."
With that, Nephilim hurls the Doom Mug Nano. Thainos's last expression is one of resigned acceptance before the Doom Mug decapitates him and continues on an unhindered course through the outer wall. Thainos falls.
Seeing its master destroyed, the Mariachi Drone goes into overdrive. It self destructs, consuming both itself and Angelo & Diablo in their own flame. In seconds, nothing is left behind but a magical sword and a permanent winged shadow on Shaun's wall.
Thainos and Angelo/Diablo are dead.
Spoiler: For SM (click to show/hide)
They are going to teach me how to use the milk to create new life, and new planets. This will likely be done with the Infinity Dairies.
(https://i.imgur.com/YsEUBGg.png)
"New life, yea-- at the expense of the countless voices of this world!" GUNTHAR swings madly with the AXE of GINNUNGAGAP as he speaks, carving his way back to his liege as best he may. "That is demigod thinking, FELL SPIRIT, and GUNTHAR HORNHELM will not allow it!"
It was good being a friend, but it seems here we part ways
Slash the cow apart, if Gunthar's in the way, slash him too
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
A last exchange of words between former friends.
"They are going to teach me how to use the milk to create new life, and new planets. This will likely be done with the Infinity Dairies."
"New life, yea-- at the expense of the countless voices of this world! That is demigod thinking, FELL SPIRIT, and GUNTHAR HORNHELM will not allow it!"
"It was good being a friend, but it seems here we part ways"
With that, Rana launches into the air, claws raised to kill Auðumbla and recreate the worlds in her image, and the image of the Eldritch Plane.
With that, GUNTHAR swings forth the Axe of the Ginnungagap in defense of his liege.
The two end up standing apart from each other, facing apart. GUNTHAR turns to see Rana, standing just before her target. She touches a wound in her host. The black blood of the byakhee flows from the wound, alongside the glowing energy of Rana's mortally wounded true form.
There is an explosion of light as Rana perishes, and the byakhee collapses into two. GUNTHAR raises his axe in warning, and the Eldritch creatures back away. One steps forward to collect the remains of Creator Rana, and then they all fly off into the distance. Auðumbla stands alongside GUNTHAR, looking sadly at the stains on his axe.
"I'm sorry it came to this. It cannot have been easy to see a former friend turned by those creatures, much less to have to slay them. You should leave this place now. Don't worry about me. Once you two are both gone, this place will again be a void of eternal sameness. The Eldritch creatures will no longer be able to change things by killing me. If you would permit a bit of advice, leave behind your quest for vengeance, demigod. I sense that the one who wronged you will be slain by others who seek justice for his victims. Instead, use your axe once more and return to your home. I suspect that someone will there to see you shortly. Whatever you decide, it was nice to meet you, Gunter."
Elsewhere, in the central mountain, the Eldritch creatures gather around the young World Tree with Rana's corpse. The Eldritch Mind speaks to itself.
"Not much remains of her."
"Perhaps, but it still shouldn't be here. It is a change, however minor."
"She said there would be a dimension, and a Symbol."
"Yes. A symbol. A meaningless design, we think. Random."
"Or perhaps, not so meaningless. We shall make it ours."
"Is a paradox acceptable?"
"It will have to be. We shall use this change to allow some freedom. An unnatural creation of Order, alongside the inevitable Chaos."
"Very well. Creator Rana shall indeed get her wish. The plane she described shall be our own, and she shall become the catalyst of its growth."
With that, the creatures inscribe their symbol upon Rana's host and bury the bodies under the roots of the World Tree.
When the tree eventually grows to become the mighty Yggdrasil, world after world will be represented in its branches. One more though, shall cling among the roots, surviving unchanged even when the others pass away.
Someday, mortals will call this place the Eldritch Plane.
Rana is dead.
BACK OFF AGAIN AND CONTINUE CIRCLING, READY TO DEFEND SELF WITH HORN-STABS
"JUST GIVE UP! WHAT EVEN IS YOUR ENDGAME, HERE? YOU KNOW THE DAIRY QUEEN IS JUST USING YOU, RIGHT?! WHAT'S YOUR REWARD GONNA BE WHEN SHE RUNS OUT OF DIRTY WORK FOR YOU TO DO, REALISTICALLY...? THINK ABOUT IT! OR DIE, I GUESS. THAT WORKS, TOO."
IF ABOVE WORDS FAIL TO CONVINCE ADAM TO CHILL TF OUT, WAIT FOR PERFECT MOMENT AND LAUNCH LAST-DITCH ATTACK: POWERSLIDE UNDER WOUNDED UNICORN, SLICING OPEN ITS BELLY WITH THE HORN AS I GO. THEN THROW A PANCREAS OR OTHER GROSS ORGAN AT ADAM, DISTRACT HIM LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO CLOSE DISTANCE
FINISH HIM OFF QUICK AND CLEAN, WITH A UNICORN HORN THROUGH EYE
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
use eldricht sorcery to activate the magical properties of the unicorn horn thus making it heal damage in place of causing it.
"I am just wiping the Okapi hybrids because they shouldn't exist. I will burn the other bridges once I get to them"
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Yoink and Adam exchange last words. "JUST GIVE UP! WHAT EVEN IS YOUR ENDGAME, HERE? YOU KNOW THE DAIRY QUEEN IS JUST USING YOU, RIGHT?! WHAT'S YOUR REWARD GONNA BE WHEN SHE RUNS OUT OF DIRTY WORK FOR YOU TO DO, REALISTICALLY...? THINK ABOUT IT! OR DIE, I GUESS. THAT WORKS, TOO." "I am just wiping the Okapi hybrids because they shouldn't exist. I will burn the other bridges once I get to them"
No more words will suffice. The Unicorn snarls and charges. Yoink responds by powersliding underneath it and slashing open its belly with the horn. The Unicorn falls, and a pancreas drops free. Yoink grabs it up, flings it at Adam, and stabs the horn forward. To defend himself, Adam counters with a spell to activate the healing properties of the Horn. He's barely got the words out when the pancreas hits him and Yoink slams the Horn through his eye and out the back of his skull. The magic doesn't activate fast enough to save him completely, but Adam does survive the blow, barely. Adam falls to the ground, rendered catatonic by the unicorn horn stuck through his brain.
With the loss of their champion, doubt creeps into the Dairy Queen's forces. Okapi partisans slowly reveal themselves, gathering around their father/ruler to the growing sound of ukulele metal. Suddenly, the Dairy Queen's lands look a lot more vulnerable.
Elsewhere, Adam lowers his hands from his face to find himself on a reflection of the Moloko. The Unicorn is with him, looking confused. Nearby, a squeaking sound gives away a certain green-tentacled janitor mopping up a spill. After a moment to check the floor for any remaining stains, the Dreamer greets his worshippers.
Since the characters with universe destroying plans are dead, Shaun and Ssarscel have access to both the Infinity Dairy scans and the societal rebuilding plan that Shaun and Angelo/Diablo worked out, Burt found the Government secrets, and the okapi-Dairy Queen war seems to be wrapping up, I think it's safe to say that the next turn will be the ending/epilogue. The rolls were spoilered to maintain suspense in the PVP actions.
Also, just wanted to thank ADN again for playing such a great villain. Thainos has been one of my favorite characters in the series, and we probably wouldn't have played this RTD at all without his win in the previous game. Also, I enjoyed writing for the ever-helpful Juainos.
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on June 14, 2020, 03:50:36 am
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on June 14, 2020, 09:58:29 am
Post by: King Zultan on June 14, 2020, 10:03:17 am
Use the secrets of the book and the facility to drain what power remains of the Earth's dead and dying gods to empower myself and become the god of everything, then go out into the universe and destroy all the governments and reveal all their secrets, then go find that fake 'Dr.Bob' and punch him in his stupid science god face until he dies.
And if that all fails just take the president ship and go back to my home planet.
((This is basically what I was planning to do but sped up since the game's ending so soon.))
Post by: Enemy post on June 14, 2020, 10:19:48 am
It was fun while it lasted, well see you next-oh wait...now I made myself sad.
Yeah, I’ll miss these games too. I’m not completely done running games, though. After I post the epilogue tomorrow (or a bit later, if people need more time to post), I’m planning to start a community suggestion game of Zoo Tycoon on Friday.
Post by: Superdorf on June 14, 2020, 11:37:22 am
(https://imgur.com/vdonxNX.png)
...
(https://imgur.com/8muSdfw.png)
...
(https://imgur.com/GymTJc1.png)
...
"...you are right, of course. The demigods will have their vengeance."
"The demigods will have their vengeance, and I-- will not be needed."
(https://imgur.com/j2cInqI.png)
"If your words be true, Lady Auðumbla-- if you have made my household whole once more-- then in truth, Gunthar Hornhelm is no longer needed. I thank you."
With a swing of his axe, Gunthar rends the veil between worlds: with a twist of the same, Gunthar sets the AXE of GINNUNGAGAP firm before the rift. There it will stay, there at the dawn of all things, until it is needed-- for Gunthar knows it to be his. Should the need rise, it will fly to Gunthar's hand once more.
"Eric-- that is his name. I thank you, Lady Auðumbla."
And with a bow, a smile, a final salute... Gunter sets off home.
Maybe there'll be some milk and cereal left in the kitchen.
(https://imgur.com/SH9Ewxz.png)
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on June 14, 2020, 12:11:29 pm
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on June 14, 2020, 12:13:57 pm
Spoiler: GM only, but to be revealed in the Epilouge (click to show/hide)
An amazing way to end the series of what are probably my favorite games on the forum ever. Thank you so much EP for this amazing wild ride. I'm sad it's over, but I wish you luck on your next project, and I hope to join in. After all, anything you run is going to be great.
Post by: CABL on June 14, 2020, 12:55:02 pm
Suddenly, a blindingly white aura surrounds Joshua, and a few moments later, he sees himself back at the Earth. He is standing at a small hill a few hundred meters away from the settlement where it all began. He slowly walks his way to it, the air carrying the feel that the cycle of life is to begin again on the Earth.
"The legend never dies," Joshua muttered to himself in an unusually low voice for him.
Post by: ziizo on June 14, 2020, 03:32:01 pm
Adam cuts himself completely from the land of the living and goes on to help T'zzz with cleaning.
Post by: Glass on June 14, 2020, 03:45:33 pm
"Sssssso... now what do we...?" He walks over to the sword - the only thing left from his companion. He picks it up, looks it over closely, as if trying to find any last words of guidance. "It'sssss over?"
The armor - evidently equally capable of operating under Delta's desires as Ssarscel's - walks over to him, and puts a large hand on the wiry chupacabra's shoulder. No, of course not. That was the whole point. It's not over. It was over for a time, and it is time to begin again. Seán. The head of the armor turns toward the man with the TARDIS. I have spent a long time simply studying the data available to me. Records indicate that you have been here since the beginning. We have the Milks, or at the least, we can make them. Do you have a plan?
Spoiler: Also, have a thing (click to show/hide)
Post by: Imic on June 14, 2020, 04:07:35 pm
Aye’ll admit, Aye’ve never been one fer big plans. Aye’ve spent most of my life runnin’ from one place t’ th’ next, sometimes throwing a spanner at something nasty and then running away again. Aye usually come up with th’ plans as Aye go along. Aye suppose this’d be far from th’ worst day t’ change that habit.
Shaun thinks for a little while more, before speaking again.
Well, one the one hand we have Thainos’ body, an’ we have his hand, and we have his fancy glove. And on the other hand, that wasn’ th’ only food machine in this old thing. If there’s still a thumb drive with th’ doom milk on it, we could give th’ glove a snap or two an’ undo it all.
Do so.
Post by: Smoke Mirrors on June 14, 2020, 04:12:35 pm
Post by: Avetruetotheimperator on June 15, 2020, 10:58:49 am
I shall be the Ultimate life form! The Perfect Neanderthal! Then...Everyone will play my new game, or else.
Post by: Yoink on June 15, 2020, 07:10:15 pm
OFFER DAIRY QUEEN ONE LAST CHANCE AT PEACE, IF SHE AGREE TO ARRANGED MARRIAGE WITH ONE OF MY MOST HANDSOMEST, POLITICALLY VIABLE OFFSPRING. OTHERWISE JUST CONTINUE WAR AND STUFF UNTIL HAVE HER HEAD ON A SPIKE, BUT WOULD RATHER NOT CAUSE ANY MORE NEEDLESS LOSS OF LIFE AMONG DAIRY MUTANTS AND MY OWN PEOPLE
WE COULD BE GREAT NEIGHBOURS, YA KNOW
SPEAKING OF MY PEOPLE, BREED MORE GENERATIONS OF THEM AS OUR SOCIETY CONTINUE TO GROW. ESTABLISH TRADE ROUTES WITH SURROUNDING NATIONS, IMPROVE INFRASTRUCTURE AND BUILDINGS AND STUFF, ACCEPT MIGRANTS, ALL THAT MALARKEY
LEAVE REAL POWER IN DAUGHTER LESLIE'S HANDS, THOUGH. SPEND MY INCREASED FREE TIME IN SOUNDPROOF STUDIO RECORDING BLACKENED UKULELE METAL PROJECT. DISTRIBUTE AND PROLIFERATE KVLT AF DEMO TAPES THROUGH GROWING TRADE NETWORK, AND BE SURE TO DO THE SAME FOR OTHER HOME-GROWN OKAPI METAL BANDS TOO
KEEP ADAM'S CORPOREAL FORM IN A WHEELCHAIR SOMEWHERE, WITH FEEDING TUBE AND CUTE KNITTED BLANKET OVER HIS LEGS.
UHH THAT'S ALL I GUESS? MIGHT ELABORATE IF HAVE TIME
EDIT: FIXED TYPO
...BE SURE TO CLAIM PLENTY OF MILK PRODUCTS FROM DQ, WILLINGLY OR OTHERWISE, IN ORDER TO THOROUGHLY WIN GAME. ACTUALLY, SET UP A WHOLE CRUELTY-FREE DAIRY INDUSTRY, WHERE SAPIENT MILK-PRODUCING BEINGS CAN CLOCK IN FOR A SHIFT AT MILK FACTORY AND BE FAIRLY COMPENSATED FOR MILK THEY PROVIDE. HOORAY FOR CAPITALISM! PRAISE MAMMALIA!
ALSO, IF DAIRY MONSTERS DO END UP JOINING OKAPI SOCIETY (FINGERS CROSSED!) MAKE SURE TO TRY AND SEDUCE THOSE AS WELL
JUMP-START ASSIMILATION PROCESS BY BREEDING MORE GROTESQUE OFFSPRING WITH EACH AND EVERY NEW SPECIES WHAT JOIN US
ESPECIALLY ANY GIRAFFES.
Post by: The Canadian kitten on June 17, 2020, 09:24:35 pm
Post by: Enemy post on June 18, 2020, 01:40:38 am
Ssarscel, Delta, Shaun, and the Unlimited Glove.
The suit of power armor opens, and Ssarscel climbs out, appearing to be in something of a daze. The armor, meanwhile, closes up by itself.
"Sssssso... now what do we...?" He walks over to the sword - the only thing left from his companion. He picks it up, looks it over closely, as if trying to find any last words of guidance. "It'sssss over?"
The armor - evidently equally capable of operating under Delta's desires as Ssarscel's - walks over to him, and puts a large hand on the wiry chupacabra's shoulder. No, of course not. That was the whole point. It's not over. It was over for a time, and it is time to begin again. Seán. The head of the armor turns toward the man with the TARDIS. I have spent a long time simply studying the data available to me. Records indicate that you have been here since the beginning. We have the Milks, or at the least, we can make them. Do you have a plan?
Shaun thinks for a long time, before responding.
Aye’ll admit, Aye’ve never been one fer big plans. Aye’ve spent most of my life runnin’ from one place t’ th’ next, sometimes throwing a spanner at something nasty and then running away again. Aye usually come up with th’ plans as Aye go along. Aye suppose this’d be far from th’ worst day t’ change that habit.
Shaun thinks for a little while more, before speaking again.
Well, one the one hand we have Thainos’ body, an’ we have his hand, and we have his fancy glove. And on the other hand, that wasn’ th’ only food machine in this old thing. If there’s still a thumb drive with th’ infinity milk on it, we could give th’ glove a snap or two an’ undo it all.
With that, the time traveler collects the Unlimited Glove from the titan's corpse and takes it to the backup food machines. A bit of work and a few more broken replicators, and Shaun finds himself wielding the same godlike power that ruined the world once before. He Snaps.
Things change quickly after that. Across the cosmos, Thainos' actions are undone. The half of the population destroyed by the original Snap is restored, and the milk and water flow once again. In comparison to the drastic attrition suffered by the non-snapped people, these represent a major increase in the total population. With that and a few more Snaps whenever necessary, the apocalypse ends. The worlds are reborn, and the healing can begin.
True to his original goal, Ssarscel becomes legendary when his connection to Thainos' defeat becomes known. This leads to a great deal of wealth too, of course, and Ssarscel finds himself a leader in post-postapocalyptic science. His most significant invention, and quite possibly the most significant device ever conceived, is a portable milk replicator. This one invention singlehandedly averts roughly four more apocalypses.
Delta returns to his post on the repaired Moloko, piloting it back to Earth to report to the resurrected half of the Alliance's leadership. For his crucial assistance, Delta is granted the highest honors intergalactic civilization has ever given to an AI, and well beyond any organic officer at that. Once the Moloko completes its long victory tour with a new crew, it is sent on a new mission of exploration. This time, Delta is made the official captain from the start. Finally, Delta's programming becomes the baseline for a whole new line of shipboard AI's going forward.
Shaun too finds himself a hero of the restored timeline. After delivering the reconstruction plan he and Adam put together to the restored leadership, Shaun finds himself with all of space and time before him. This era and eons hence see him as a legendary figure, and his iconic green TARDIS becomes a symbol of hope to countless civilizations. Not only that, but the Unlimited Glove finds itself in a secure safe in his home, awaiting the day it is needed again. Clearly, more than 57 years and 38 series worth of adventures still await Shaun O' Brian.
Burt
"Yes I've found it, all the secrets of this crappy ass planet are now mine, and I can use them, this stupid presidency, and all the experimental crap in this facility to prove everything I've know to be right was right the whole time, and to do what they failed and were to chicken to do, I shall drain the remaining power away from the dead and dying gods of this world and instead of using it to empower this shitty country like they were going to do I shall use it to empower myself and become the GOD of the sun.... NO wait, screw that I'll become the what ever you call the god of everything, then I shall use my powers to make it to where there can be no government secrets and there can be no governments because I won't allow them to exist so I shall destroy them, and after I destroy all governments and reveal all the secrets I'll go find that fake ass government controlled 'Dr. Bob' clone that ended up becoming the god of science and I'll punch him in his fake ass face until he dies to get revenge for the death of the real Dr. Bob!"
In the depths of Area 51, Burt's antigovernment crusade reaches new levels when he discovers the remains of a plan to harvest the power of forgotten gods. Burt's research into Sun DNA proves the missing piece, and he absorbs the collected divinity. Burt becomes the new god of the Sun, before escalating to even greater heights. With his new powers, the secrets of the old governments are quickly disseminated among their surviving citizens. Burt finds the work of exterminating all governments much more difficult when half of their members are suddenly resurrected shortly after he attains divinity. Nevertheless, the sight of the Sacred Cow entering the system quickly becomes the greatest fear of Government officials throughout the universe.
Ultimately, Burt's mission leads him into conflict with AllBob. Given AllBob's transcendent experience of reality, Burt is both defeated and victorious in countless variations of their duel. The one constant is a new constellation formed in the image of their battle that becomes a fixture of their homeworld's night sky.
Gunter
(https://imgur.com/vdonxNX.png)
...
(https://imgur.com/8muSdfw.png)
...
(https://imgur.com/GymTJc1.png)
...
"...you are right, of course. The demigods will have their vengeance."
"The demigods will have their vengeance, and I-- will not be needed."
(https://imgur.com/j2cInqI.png)
"If your words be true, Lady Auðumbla-- if you have made my household whole once more-- then in truth, Gunthar Hornhelm is no longer needed. I thank you."
With a swing of his axe, Gunthar rends the veil between worlds: with a twist of the same, Gunthar sets the AXE of GINNUNGAGAP firm before the rift. There it will stay, there at the dawn of all things, until it is needed-- for Gunthar knows it to be his. Should the need rise, it will fly to Gunthar's hand once more.
"Eric-- that is his name. I thank you, Lady Auðumbla."
And with a bow, a smile, a final salute... Gunter sets off home.
Maybe there'll be some milk and cereal left in the kitchen.
(https://imgur.com/SH9Ewxz.png)
Some time later, Gunter reaches the remains of his old home. Hesitantly, he opens the door. It takes him another moment to look inside.
Finally, a constricting impact around his knees banishes all remaining fears.
"Hi Dad! You're finally back! I'm...not sure what happened!"
Gunter's mother also embraces him.
"I was just making some pancakes, and then Eric and I must have blacked out. When we awoke, the house was in ruins! Do you know what's happened? Are we going to be alright?"
Gunter surveys the damage. Most things look as he expected, but there is one thing out of place. Among the devastation, the table now bears three pristine bowls of cereal. A carton of Hornless Cow-branded milk is provided to fill them. A winking cow smiles forth from the logo. Gunter gets the sense that things are going to be ok.
Angelo and Diablo
"So... that's it then. It's done. It's all... finally over."
"It seems so... it's been a long time since I felt this... at peace."
"I shouldn't be happy about this but... I am. Humanity is safe, the world is safe. It's... good."
"So... what now? We rest?"
"I'll be going back to Heaven, to resume my job as a guardian angel."
"And I'll be going back to Hell. I'm pretty sure with everything that's happened, I've been promoted to ruling monarch."
"Then... I'll find something to do. I don't know how I'll occupy my time now that the world isn't ending. Leisure... it's been so long, I forgot what it feels like."
"...Actually, Adam, Heaven has one more job for you... if you want it, of course."
"Hell's also in on the job offer."
"Then... of course, yes. I'll do it."
"Don't you want to know what it is first?"
"Y-Yes, sure."
"Adam... you were the best vessel I could have ever hoped to have."
"And you're the best damned human being in the miserable world."
"Few, if any, have done more to make this world a better place than you have."
"Even the demons have some respect for you in that regard."
"So we decided, unanimously, that it would be a sin if... if..."
"If you did so much for the world and didn't get to enjoy it."
"I-I don't understand."
"Adam Simon, on orders of Heaven and Hell, in payment for you service beyond any expectation, with no expectation of reward, your final job is to be reincarnated, and to live a full and happy life. To live as many full and happy lives as you desire, and only once you have decided you wish to, to return to us, and to enjoy your eternal reward."
"I-I..."
"We're going to miss you."
"Live as many lives you want kid. Do whatever you want in them. The guy in the sky has pre-approved you for Heaven whenever you're ready."
"You've earned it."
"Th-th-thank you so much... I'm going to miss you both too. I'm going to miss you so very much."
"Don't worry about it. Like we'll ever stop watching over your overworked ass."
"So... are you ready?"
"Yes. I'm ready."
"Then by the glory of Heaven and the might of Hell, we, Angelo and Diablo, hereby give you your reward. Adam Simon, we command you to LIVE!
In a small house in a town near the ruin that was once Genericville, a young couple welcomes their new baby into the world. His hair is a brilliant golden color, and when he opens his eyes for the first time, they'll be heterochromatic, one blue and one red.
Angelo, Diablo, and Adam Simons legacy is not forgotten by the mortal world, especially once people learn that they were the one to slay Thainos. An order of heroic adventurers is formed in their honor, protecting their worlds from many threats over the years. They operate in teams of three, consisting of a knight and a rogue, with a third to balance them. As spiritual descendants of a Nephilim, they take to calling themselves the Anakite Order. Their weapons bear the motto "Suus 'Non In Finem Mundi".
Joshua Cortez
Joshua Cortez wakes up on a planet with no atmosphere. Strangely enough, he's not suffocating from the lack of oxygen, and he sees a wreckage of an Enterprise-class starship. He ventures into the wreck and explores the ship. Somehow, the captain's logs are still functional, and they all indicate that this crashed ship is no other than USS Moloko. Once Joshua finishes listening to the logs, he notices a suit of peculiar armor and an equally interesting mask. There's also a two-handed sword plunged deeply into the ship's floor. Cortez dons on the armor and the mask, and even though the armor suit looks extremely heavy for an ordinary man, he seems to have retained a rather good mobility. He removes the two-handed sword without any serious effort from the Moloko's blackened, rusty floor.
Suddenly, a blindingly white aura surrounds Joshua, and a few moments later, he sees himself back at the Earth. He is standing at a small hill a few hundred meters away from the settlement where it all began. He slowly walks his way to it, the air carrying the feel that the cycle of life is to begin again on the Earth.
"The legend never dies," Joshua muttered to himself in an unusually low voice for him.
Adam Smith
"Maybe I should have done this from the start."
Leaving his mortal body behind, Adam Smith joins his master in dreaming of the universe. There proves to be many messes to clean in the aftermath of the universe's decimation and recovery. Good thing it has a good janitorial crew. The Unicorn is sent back to Earth, where she relays what happened to Adam to the rest of the T'zzz cult. The Apotheosis of Adam becomes a defining feature of their beliefs, and T'zzzism becomes a prominent religion in the reborn intergalactic civilization.
Cistern
It's hard to say what happened to Cistern. She slipped back into the timestream again shortly after Thainos' defeat and found herself transported to another world. Perhaps she found some milk this time.
The John Network
The John Network continues to assimilate settlements across New Hampshire and beyond for a little while, until the population is suddenly restored by the return of the Unlimited Glove. Sensing that their presence will not be tolerated much longer in the rebuilding society, the John Network strategically sacrifices some of its number to fake the network's destruction and escapes into space using some old spacecraft. Once safely away, the John Network bides its time, building a fleet of cubic starships to assist them in one day assimilating yet more victims. "Resistance. is. futile."
Slash Ashford
After the defeat of Thainos, Slash Ashford uses one of Shaun's food machines to create milk. The delicious beverage unleashes his TRUE NEANDERTHAL POWER, enabling him to write MIGHTY CODE unmatched by any sape. Finally, after over 20 years, TOME reaches its Final Form. It is unleashed upon the unsuspecting sapes, aliens, and chupacabras. It proves a relatively quiet release, but it gradually develops a cult following of roughly 8 billion players, mostly in the Andromeda galaxy.
Yoink
After the defeat of Adam Smith and the Unicorn, the Dairy Queen's army was in no position to keep fighting. The Dairy Queen soon surrendered to Yoink and his okapi warriors, in the process agreeing to marry Son Johnston. With this marriage, the Dairy Queen's milk fortune came indirectly under Yoink's control. White Mountain National Forest become the heart of okapi hybrid society as Daughter Leslie built the nation. The Dairy Queen's minions soon grew to tolerate and even love their new neighbors, resulting in even more freakish hybrids populating Yoink's growing society. More species joined Yoink's society as the years went on, including a large contingent of giraffes. Adam Smith's body was kept safe and cared for for a time, until it eventually and mysteriously died.
On her father's suggestion, Daughter Leslie sets up a dairy industry free of the Dairy Queen's slavery. Producing high-quality milk becomes a cornerstone of the hybrid's economy, competing with Ssarscel's cheaper replicated milk.
As for Yoink himself, he remains officially the leader of the new nation, but in practice spends his time in his people's metal scene, mastering the art of blackened ukulele metal and assisting the rise of other genres invented by his spawn, including harmonica thrash, flute rap, and harp punk.
Thanks again for playing, everyone. I've had a great time writing for all your characters these past three years! This has been a lot of fun. I think my favorite moment was the final battle from 2, though there's quite a bit of competition. I'll take a short break, and then start a new game on Monday in the Play With Your Buddies subforum. (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?board=21.0) I'll be doing a community suggestion game of the original Zoo Tycoon. Seeing Bay12 build a zoo should be fun.
Spoiler: Final Hall of Milk compilation (click to show/hide)
The Minimalism and Milk credits. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFeq-itLSz0)
(https://i.imgur.com/a9Au1jb.png)
Post by: Superdorf on June 18, 2020, 01:53:58 am
It's been a wild ride-- I am fortunate, to have partaken. Thank you all. :)
Post by: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES on June 18, 2020, 02:16:44 am
Post by: Glass on June 18, 2020, 07:07:18 am
Post by: King Zultan on June 18, 2020, 08:46:21 am
Post by: ziizo on June 18, 2020, 08:58:23 am
Also good work with making the credits Video.
Post by: CABL on June 18, 2020, 09:13:51 am
Post by: Imic on June 18, 2020, 01:06:48 pm
Post by: Naturegirl1999 on June 18, 2020, 01:32:30 pm
Post by: The Canadian kitten on June 20, 2020, 10:04:54 pm
Post by: Enemy post on June 21, 2020, 12:44:35 am
I'm feeling eager to start my next game, so I went ahead and posted the thread early. Let's Play Zoo Tycoon! (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=176736.0)