Bay 12 Games Forum
Finally... => Forum Games and Roleplaying => Roll To Dodge => Topic started by: Egan_BW on December 02, 2022, 06:31:21 pm
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It's the new minimalist sensation.
Victory shall be achieved by rolling the game itself in the manner one would roll a die.
You're in a white void with some randos. You get the feeling that rolling dice would cause things.
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Roll the dice! See what happens!
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Roll the dice! See what happens!
You throw a die! There is a short slot machine sound effect and then- you got a green koopa shell! Seems you can throw it at people.
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Roll dice with style as I cackle manically
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Roll dice with style as I cackle manically
You grab a handful of dice and roll them! They all grow little arms and legs and begin to protest with little signs.
"Down with god! Down with existence!"
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ask the dice to roll themselves
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Play with the dice, then lick myself clean, and then take a nap inside the koopa shell.
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Roll the living dice as I continue to cackle, my voice growing hoarse
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ask the dice to roll themselves
You tell your dice to roll themselves, but they don't want to. What were you expecting, like, animate dice? That would be absurd.
Play with the dice, then lick myself clean, and then take a nap inside the koopa shell.
You bat the dice around a little bit. This results in a rolling a lot of different numbers. By the end of this there's a bunch of random junk like rocks and lightbulbs around you for some reason. You clean yourself even though the white void is already pretty clean and get into the koopa shell. You now carry your house on your back.
Roll the living dice as I continue to cackle, my voice growing hoarse
You roll the dice mercilessly like the uncaring force of nature you are. You do however need a glass of water.
Soon one of the dice gets fed up with this and reads a tiny book on how to become a wizard. She zaps you with a lightning spell. It stings!
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“The dice are learning. Growing, evolving. What else can they do? Amuse me. ”
Roll the dice that turned into a wizard
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oh fuck someone rolled a wizard die
[3]
The universe is now permanently slightly more boring. To facilitate this new status quo, the white void around you all is replaced with normal terrain with brown dirt and grey rocks. Besides that and the dice people and lightbulbs the world is still empty.
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Grow a dice tree from the dice.
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(https://i.postimg.cc/W4mJRLSd/47-ACD481-8-A20-4811-85-CA-BA21303-C0077.jpg)
Roll a few dice. Also, roll a rock and a light bulb as well.
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Grow a dice tree from the dice.
[2]
You plant a die into the ground. However, the soil is not currently fertile enough to support such fantastic growth.
(https://i.postimg.cc/W4mJRLSd/47-ACD481-8-A20-4811-85-CA-BA21303-C0077.jpg)
Roll a few dice. Also, roll a rock and a light bulb as well.
You roll some dice. The numbers you get are [4] [3] [1] [6] [6] [4]. Nothing else happens.
...Well, that's concerning. You rolled dice and nothing happened? Blasphemous.
You also roll some rocks and light bulbs but nothing continues to happen besides kicking up some dust and breaking some glass. There's now broken glass on the ground and you can see exposed copper wiring inside of the broken light bulbs. You feel a powerful urge to harvest the copper.
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Re-roll the 3 and the 1. Also, harvest the copper.
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Re-roll the 3 and the 1. Also, harvest the copper.
[5] and [2]. You also now have a small amount of copper wire.
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Find some dice and eat them for SCIENCE!
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Find some dice and eat them for SCIENCE!
[5]
You find a pile of dice on the ground. You immediately devour them all.
Now you don't have any dice... but maybe you have something better?
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Shake myself and see what happens when you roll the dice from the inside!
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Shake myself and see what happens when you roll the dice from the inside!
You shake yourself. Sounds of objects colliding rapidly ensue and then you are propelled upwards by physics glitches. You are now on the moon.
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Yell at ground to become fertile
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Anyone roll the fuzzy pink dice yet?
*Toss*
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Clam the moon as my own personal kingdom then fill it with astronauts that yell about John Madden all the time.
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Yell at ground to become fertile
[4]
You yell at the dirt. It seems suitable intimidated.
Anyone roll the fuzzy pink dice yet?
*Toss*
It rolls a [1].
Clam the moon as my own personal kingdom then fill it with astronauts that yell about John Madden all the time.
You claim the moon, but no astronauts show up. Perhaps you will have to yell about John Madden on your own.
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“ah, much better.”
Find the wizard and the rest of the living dice and roll them with EVUL laughter.
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I roll my lucky 20-sider.
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I roll a D1000000.
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Soil sufficiently intimated will the dice to grow into a mighty dice tree
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“ah, much better.”
Find the wizard and the rest of the living dice and roll them with EVUL laughter.
[3]
The dice scattered when this world came into existence. You can only find one normal sapient die, not a wizard. You decide to roll it around and he screams for someone to help him.
I roll my lucky 20-sider.
You get an [11].
I roll a D1000000.
You can't find one. This land is too boring to support such nonstandard dice!
Soil sufficiently intimated will the dice to grow into a mighty dice tree
You stare at the planted die. It's probably growing. I mean, plants take a few days at least to grow from seed. At worst you'll have to wait for a suitable season.
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Roll it harder.
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Roll it harder.
The die screams louder. Some dice soldiers appear, wearing little armor sets and holding little spears. They begin to unload their siege train and assemble a crossbow large enough to harm you.
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I roll initiative against the dice-army.
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I roll initiative against the dice-army.
You toss a d20 at them. It takes out a few but doesn't disrupt their formation much. The dice troops scream a battle cry in challenge.
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I attempt to cast fireball, rolling 8d6 worth of fire through their ranks.
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I nod to the GM's wise words and turn my attention towards finding resources while the plant grows
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I roll a D2 and then a D1.
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Roll it harder.
The die screams louder. Some dice soldiers appear, wearing little armor sets and holding little spears. They begin to unload their siege train and assemble a crossbow large enough to harm you.
ROLL IT HARDER.
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Start shouting JOHN MADDEN at the top of my lungs until something interesting happens.
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ROLL IT HARDER.
[6]
You are shot in the heart with a ballista. On the negative side, it hurts like a motherfucker and you're pinned to the ground by a wooden stake now. On the plus side, you know know that you can survive being shot in the heart! Gotta be worth something right.
I attempt to cast fireball, rolling 8d6 worth of fire through their ranks.
[2]
You toss eight dice at the dice soldiers. The dice you threw do minimal damage, grow little arms and legs, and join the dice army.
I nod to the GM's wise words and turn my attention towards finding resources while the plant grows
[1]
You've found magma! It is a very valuable resource which you've fallen into a pit of and are now melting.
I roll a D2 and then a D1.
You don't see any. Money does not exist yet, so no d2s for you.
Start shouting JOHN MADDEN at the top of my lungs until something interesting happens.
You scream on the moon. An alien in a tiny flying saucer appears to find out what the fuss is.
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Call out for help while desperately trying to escape a hot death.
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Call out for help while desperately trying to escape a hot death.
[3]
Not good enough. Perhaps someone will rescue you?
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Continue to yell about John Madden and football, and see if this gets the flying saucer to land.
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Call out to anyone for help.I
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Search for SHINY!!!
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ROLL THE WORLD
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Going to wait a little more for Vermillion because something time sensitive may or may not be happening.
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Aww, they're gone.
Continue to yell about John Madden and football, and see if this gets the flying saucer to land.
The ayy lmao stares at you for a second, and then tractor beams you and drags you out into space with it. Success!
Soon you arrive on the alien homeworld, which is all yellow, and are placed into a cage for amusing animals, behind a laser fence.
Call out to anyone for help.I
Nobody decided to rescue you, so you died.
Search for SHINY!!!
You find some mica in the sand. It's really cool.
ROLL THE WORLD
You spread out your arms to grasp the world, and then heave as hard as you can, which isn't very hard because you're pinned to the ground by a stake. Nevertheless, you do notice that the world is rotating very slowly through space. Success!
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Grab some of those amusing animals and throw them like footballs at the laser fence while yelling about football!
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Grab some of those amusing animals and throw them like footballs at the laser fence while yelling about football!
[5]
You successfully grab a space puppy and toss it into the disintegrating laser fence. Football!
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What! A laser fence?! Attack! We must catch and destroy this menace to cat-kind!
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What! A laser fence?! Attack! We must catch and destroy this menace to cat-kind!
You walk to the alien home planet. There is a laser cage within which are a number of comical creatures. The lasers are mesmerizing, yet deadly!
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Use the power of John Madden and grab a comical animal to use to dig my way out of this cage.
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Kill the lasers! Hunt down every single one of them!
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Use the power of John Madden and grab a comical animal to use to dig my way out of this cage.
[5]
Ahhm the noble shovelbeast. You pick it up and begin to dig, rapidly accelerating to your maximum excavation speed of 42 meters per second. After a matter of moments, you break through into the alien cavern layer! You are surrounded by strange cave flora and fauna.
Kill the lasers! Hunt down every single one of them!
[2]
You pounce at the lasers! They disintegrate you!
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Use my shovelbeast to beat the shit out of the cave flora and fauna until I am declared kind of the caverns!
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Use my shovelbeast to beat the shit out of the cave flora and fauna until I am declared kind of the caverns!
[1]
You bonk a bullsquid with your shovelbeast. It spits poison at you. Ow, neurotoxin, neurotoxin!
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Use the power of JOHN MADDEN to defeat the neurotoxin by shouting about FOOTBALL at the squid until it dies!
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Use the power of JOHN MADDEN to defeat the neurotoxin by shouting about FOOTBALL at the squid until it dies!
John Madden is not an antitoxin. You perish. From the neurotoxin.
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Damn you John Madden! I shall get revenge by possessing a football and throw myself through your windows!
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Put the dice in my pocket and roll a bowling ball instead
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Meow “I’ve still got eight more left where that one came from!!!” and then go find and destroy the source of the lasers power.
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Damn you John Madden! I shall get revenge by possessing a football and throw myself through your windows!
FOOTBALL
You are now a football. Footballs cannot punt themselves! You will require assistance.
Put the dice in my pocket and roll a bowling ball instead
[5]
You roll a bowling ball so hard that it begins to pick up speed and mass as it rolls, growing larger and larger until it hits a line of trees and knocks them over.
STRIKE!
Through the desolated forest you spy a path leading to the Developer's Lounge.
Meow “I’ve still got eight more left where that one came from!!!” and then go find and destroy the source of the lasers power.
[1]
Unfortunately you'd already spent eight lives during your extensive life of crime.
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This might have been a mistake, anyway roll myself and see what happens.
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((Does that mean I can no longer participate in the game?))
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((Unknown. I'm running this with my sense of reason turned off, so anything could happen really. This accounts for all plot holes, nonsequiter, or meanness. Just putting down what comes to mind and rolling with it to allow myself to update every time I check the thread.))
This might have been a mistake, anyway roll myself and see what happens.
You roll a [3]! Since footballs are sorta d10 shaped.
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Alright, my nine cat lives used up, I reincarnate as a…
as a…
…I roll a D20 to determine what I reincarnate as.
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alright.
roach
fly
lizard
robot
parrot
crow
goose
rat
tiger
elephant
fern
lizard-man
elf
goblin
wolf
tree
mold
giant turtle
lemur
frog
You roll a spiritual d20. You got a [3].
You are now a hatchling gecko!
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I'm a football and I need to be kicked, grow some legs so I'll be able to kick myself.
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Throw the dice at the window of the developer’s lounge
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Try to sell insurance to someone.
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Roll myself into a perpetual motion machine to gain infinite power. Declare myself god emperor.
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I'm a football and I need to be kicked, grow some legs so I'll be able to kick myself.
[1]
You try to grow legs, but instead all you can grow are useless arms! More and more and more of them...
You're now a football with a bunch of leather tentacles!
Throw the dice at the window of the developer’s lounge
Your dice hit the glass and clatter to the ground.
I poke my head out the door with a sheet of paper.
"I have an announcement. In three days, game roll you! You'll have to find a way to roll the game before that."
Try to sell insurance to someone.
[2]
You find a someone and sell them an insurance! The someone is then hit by a truck and dies! You must pay the someone's family the insurance payout!
Roll myself into a perpetual motion machine to gain infinite power. Declare myself god emperor.
You haven't worked for it, so no. Also you're pinned to the ground by a stake so rolling yourself would be difficult anyways.
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Damn how the hell am I supposed to kick myself with arms!? Attempt to use my new arms to crawl my way to John Madden's house.
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Tear out the stake in my chest and roll it.
Research ways to gain godly amounts of roll power.
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Pay them the payout (roll to determine what the payout is).
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“Oh we’ll see about that!”
Write “the game” on myself and roll myself
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Hmph. And then I didn't actually update for 3 days. Might that be a sign I'm losing interest?
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No, it’s a sign of gaining interest. :)
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Roll to regain interest!
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continue to be dead.
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Roll to roll Egan into posting