Turn 1
Clearly I walk away from the strange gachapon machine in the middle of nowhere... just kidding put in that gemstone and lets get gambling!
(3) The machine spits out a red ball; it breaks against the ground, revealing a metal shovel with a huge blade.
Cmoooooooooon baby, daddy needs a new SSS+ Summertime Fun Waifu!
(4) Alas, this is the equipment gacha. Inside your ball is a Magical Mary™ Wand: Summer Splash Mode, or so the label says. It's a foot-long plastic stick with a button on the handle, a big pink LED heart on the end, and twin wave-patterned ribbons coiled around the whole thing.
Kick the Gapchapon Machine, then feed it my gem.
(3) What's this thing made of, adamantine? This is the worst your toe has ever hurt! The machine coughs out an icicle-laden handgun with a glowing trigger.
feed it my gem
(2) The machine dispenses a ball containing a thick steel bracelet.
BlackPaladin99 (0): Bracelet?
crazyabe (0): Pistol?
Fluffe (0): Shovel?
IronyOwl (0): Magical Mary™ Wand: Summer Splash Mode
Turn 2
Spin the wheel!
(5) The machine dispenses a golden-hilted longsword. Its blade shines where the sunlight falls on it.
Drop my gem in and extract my new 000 identity prize out.
(6) You receive a futuristic red rifle with a ribcage-like barrel. It pulses ominously.
Shoot the next person to act in the leg.
Dive behind the Gachapon machine to take cover from crazyabe's shot.
(1v3) Counterfactual's dive falls short and leaves his legs exposed, but it doesn't matter because crazyabe's shot goes wild, ricochets off the machine, and grazes his leg, leaving behind a thin coat of bloody hoarfrost. Also, the instant he pulled the trigger, his hand was frozen to the gun.
Disregard basic game mechanics, just find the closest hostile and- oh hey, abe is the closest hostile. Suplex him.
(2) Right as you wrap your arms around Abe, he fires. You leap out of the way to dodge the ricocheting bullet. Drat!
Charge deeper into the forest with my new weapon!
(2) You charge deeper into the forest. About thirty feet into it, to be more specific. Look, that thing is pretty heavy, OK? Something rustles in the thick foliage above you.
Ahem, insert gem, receive fabulous prize.
(4) You receive a black cloth bag that glows with an inner light. A drawstring holds it tightly shut.
Put da gem in da machine.
(5) You receive a huge metal case. What could be inside? Undo the latch and find out!
Go thrash monsters with my magical glowy ribbon stick
(6) You quest off into the woods, leaving the clearing and machine behind. Almost immediately, you come across a large, squirrel-like creature with sharp canines sniffing at the ground. You crack it over the head with your wand, but it only chips the plastic. Luckily, your thumb slips and presses the button, producing a high-pressure stream of water that crushes the rodent against a nearby tree. It vomits up a red gem as it expires.
Put the lime in the coconut.... No wait that isn't right..... Oh yeah I got it now, put the gem in the machine.
(2) You receive an eerie bone knife. The blade seems to draw in light—the clearing is getting darker by the second.
BlackPaladin99 (0): Bracelet?
Counterfactual (1): (Empty)
crazyabe (0): Ice Pistol?
Devastator (0): Longsword?
Egan_BW (1): (Empty)
Fluffe (0): Shovel?
Horizon (0): Case?
IronyOwl (0): Magical Mary™ Wand: Summer Splash Mode
King Zultan (0): Knife?
Maxine (0): Bag?
VermilionSkies (0): Rifle?
Turn 3
Take up my new rifle and try it out on a nearby tree.
(2) When you pull the trigger, a red ray emerges from the barrel and pierces the tree. It doesn't leave a hole, but sap begins to bleed from the trunk.
Defensive position!
(6v4) You raise your shovel protectively. A large acorn flies at you from above, but you bat it back! Seconds later, a dead squirrel-thing falls from the tree—and a red gem with it.
Now that I’ve “tested” my gun- Head out to the forest while I still can.
Punch Abe in the nose. Gotta get the monster gems! Not to use in the machine, just cuz they're shiny.
(5v1) Egan swings for Abe, but a lucky limp causes Abe to fall short of where Egan expected to be; Egan's momentum carries him to the ground. Abe lumbers off into the woods while Egan picks himself up.
Time to go monster slaying!
(6) Deep in the woods, you find a tree swarming with squirrel-things. There must be dozens of them! Luckily, they seem to be engaged in some kind of elaborate acorn-centric bartering ritual—so elaborate they haven't noticed you yet.
Scoop up red gem, then try to craft a nice cloak out of crushed squirrel.
(6) It's hard to strip a hide without proper tools, but you take up a nearby rock and do your best. When you're finished, your back is covered-ish by a flayed, still-dripping squirrel hide. Stylin'!
Open up the bag for a better look inside.
(6) The bag contains pure, overwhelming light! You immediately close your eyes and shut it again. Close one!
Whilst crazyabe is distracted by face-punches, apply one (1) red gem to the gachapon machine.
(2) You receive a longbow marked with a pair of circling arrows and a quiver of arrows.
Are you accepting new players? if so, Insert the red gem I start with into the machine
(2) You receive an oversized paintbrush and a bucket of cosmic paint. Galaxies sparkle in the darkness.
Unclip the latches, and open the metal case.
Inside are twelve light blue mines. A helpful note explains that users should place them in or on the ground (preferably soft earth), remove the safety pin, and wait for victims to step on them.
Run off into the woods, find monster, commence to the stabbing.
(6v5) You come across a two-headed wolf slavering from both jaws! It leaps at you, claws outstretched; you cut its throats with your knife, but not before it rakes both your arms. It expires and produces a red gem.
BlackPaladin99 (0): Bracelet?
Counterfactual (0): Bow?, Quiver
crazyabe (0): Ice Pistol?
Devastator (0): Longsword?
Egan_BW (1): (Empty)
Fluffe (0): Shovel?
Horizon (0): Case of Mines (12)?
IronyOwl (1): Magical Mary™ Wand: Summer Splash Mode, Gorecloak
King Zultan (0): Knife?
Maxine (0): Bag of Light
Naturegirl (0): Paint?, Large Paintbrush
VermilionSkies (0): Rifle?
Turn 4
Use my knife to cut the wolfs heads off and make a helm from them!
(3) You screw up the left head too badly to salvage it, but you make the right into a decent, if not particularly pleasant, skullcap.
Toss the Acorn of Discord into their midst before laying waste to them with my Shiny Longsword
(4) You toss a particularly exquisite acorn into the branches. A bunch of them start squabbling over it, but not enough for you to get your slaughter on with impunity—there are dozens of them.
Whew. Wander off in search of something to expose to the light and... beat to death.
(6) You join Devastator in front of the squirrel-infested tree.
Find myself an abomination to exsanguinate with the power of the Blood Remover 1.0.
My mind wanders, considering to plant the explosives around the machine to reap the sweet sweet gacha gems from the corpses of other players..yet I do not.
Walk up to the person, obviously staying out of the range of fire "Hello there, seems you have a nice weapon there. Would you like to mayhaps..Team up?" I ask VermillionSkies, following them to help exsanguinate whatever abomination they find!
(2, 3) Skies doesn't find anything, but Horizon espies a squirrel scuttling down a trail.
Pick up the gem and head back to the machine for more gamblin!
(1) The machine dispenses an ominous obsidian wand. Touching it makes you feel like you've taken your life into your hands.
Venture into the wilderness in search of an intelligent monster who'd be willing to loan me some red gems against my delicious flesh as collateral.
(6) You encounter a two-headed wolf in a suit. He offers you a loan of up to five gems on the condition that you pay your debt in full by Turn 15. Interest is 5% per turn, compounding. What do you say? He pushes a contract and pen across his desk with a claw.
Set out in search of some knappable rocks. I don't need no stinking machine! I'll rebuild the whole paleolithic tech tree on my own!
(5) You've got the rocks--a whole pile's worth, in fact. Now what?
Stylishly find more innocents to butcher foul monsters to slay
(6) You come across a trio of squirrels feasting on the corpse of a two-headed wolf.
Tis hunt'in season, wander about, shoot whatever(or whoever) moves so I can collect RED gems.
(2) You shoot a falling leaf. It explodes into snowflakes.
Sweet, magic paint! Now to see what it does. Paint a patch of grass with the new cosmic paint, Observe results
(2) The grass ceases to wave in the breeze. Aside from that, it appears to be unaffected.
BlackPaladin99 (0): Bracelet?
Counterfactual (0): Bow?, Quiver
crazyabe (0): Ice Pistol?
Devastator (0): Longsword?
Egan_BW (1): Assorted Rocks
Fluffe (0): Shovel?, Wand?
Horizon (0): Case of Mines (12)?
IronyOwl (1): Magical Mary™ Wand: Summer Splash Mode, Gorecloak
King Zultan (0): Knife?, Skullcap
Maxine (0): Bag of Light
Naturegirl (0): Paint?, Large Paintbrush
VermilionSkies (0): Rifle?
edit: added egan, removed Maxine's inexplicable clone
Turn 5
"Might want to close your eyes buddy."
Well, close my eyes, and show the massed squirrels this little light of mine.
Lets pick off a few then, even if I can't kill the whole cluster. Some are distracted, some are more distracted.. lets nip at the edges and take out a couple.
(3, 2) Devastator, not quite making out what Maxine said, turns to ask her. Unfortunately for him, she's already opening the bag; the resultant flash strikes him as blind as the squirrels. His blade shines with an almost painful light.
Keep shooting at things that move! eventually one of them will be worth gems!
(6) You fire on another leaf, a tumbleweed, a particularly breezy cloud, a third leaf, a flowing stream, and the squirrel drinking from it, in that order. The last target vomits a red gem onto the ice.
Now that I have a hat I go forth and find more things to stab!
(4) You see a huge flightless bird dipping its massive sword-edged beak into a pool of water.
Search for something to kill Wonder if they like the taste of paint
(2) You set off into the woods. Ten minutes of stumbles and detours later, you're back in the clearing.
Spin the wheel with force
(3) It's actually a dial, not a wheel, but fine. The machine gives you a six-pointed ice crown.
Bash together rocks and sticks until I have crafted a stone axe, pickaxe, shovel, hoe, and sword, in the traditional manner.
(-) Whoa whoa whoa, buddy. What do you think this is, Roll to Minecraft? There's only one way to spontaneously turn one item into another 'round here, and that's to use the machine; get outta here with this crafting nonsense.
If Horizon points the squirrel out to me, hit it with the classic ribcage laser. Otherwise, continue searching for something to de-blood.
If Horizon points the squirrel out to me, hit it with the classic ribcage laser. Otherwise, continue searching for something to de-blood.
There be squirrels partner, point out the squirrels.
(5) Skies hits it right in the heart! It explodes into gore, leaving only a red gem behind.
"Ehhhhhhhh this thing's giving me bad vibes."
Carefully put the wand ontop of the machine and head back out with my trusty shovel to do more monster slaying!
(1v5) You don't make it ten feet into the woods before a squirrel drops down from the trees, lands on your head, and starts clawing the hell out of your shoulders. Your screams echo through the wood.
Sign a contract for a loan of three gems. This 'interest' business only sounds like a problem for future me!
(1) After you sign the contract, the wolf informs you of the 10% service surcharge, just in case you skipped the small print. You did, naturally. He hands you your gems and sends you on your way.
You are in a thick forest teaming with monsters. Standing in front of you is a gachapon machine full of mysterious items; it accepts red gemstones and nothing else. You have one red gemstone. What would you like to do?
Go find a monster and use it to make a contract instead. Screw the Gachapon!
(6) You find the same wolf. He offers you the same deal, albeit with a 6% interest rate. He's sorry, but that's the best he can do for someone with no credit history.
examine bracelet, with my eyes and my mind. then run away from the rest of the people
(2) It's a steel bracelet. Not much more to say about it, really, unless it does something interesting when you put it on. You make your escape; you are now standing beside a wide river in the woods.
BlackPaladin99 (0): Bracelet?
Counterfactual (3): Bow?, Quiver, Debt (💎3.3)
crazyabe (0): Ice Pistol?
Devastator (0): Longsword?
Egan_BW (1): Assorted Rocks
Fluffe (0): Shovel?
Horizon (0): Case of Mines (12)?
IronyOwl (1): Magical Mary™ Wand: Summer Splash Mode, Gorecloak
King Zultan (1): Knife?, Skullcap
Knightwing (0): Crown?
Maxine (0): Bag of Light
Naturegirl (0): Paint?, Large Paintbrush
TricMagic (1): (Empty)
VermilionSkies (0): Rifle?