Oke!!
Welc-Ome to S S F R P R P G G
==^.^==Worlde Now Loading==^.^==[/font]
warning: critical system error
A vaste worlde opens up before you!!!~
Name: Blarg
Description: A humanoid with the head of a zebra.
Class: Gun-fu practitioner
Starting place: Anywhere
You find yourself in a quaint little village (https://image.civitai.com/xG1nkqKTMzGDvpLrqFT7WA/7e9cac5d-220b-43c8-0bd8-187eb5288200/width=450/235535.jpeg). The human inhabitants (https://assetstorev1-prd-cdn.unity3d.com/key-image/a02eb850-024b-4139-87df-47224afb9367.png?v=1) seem wary of you, perhaps due to your strange equine morphology. Do you remember what you are doing here?...
Name: Name not found.
Description: Description not found.
Class: Error
Starting place: Somewhere
You find yourself in a–
CRITICAL POPUP MESSAGE: We Are Sorry. Your Account Has Been Suspended From SSRPRPGG Due To Erroneous Character Creation Parameters. Your Case Will Be Pending Review By System Administrators. Thank You For Your .
me: thing
type: changer
specialty: bonking
place: same anywhere
words: thing is a thing and a changey thing and is brown and has a stick which is long for bonking and can run really fast
You find yourself in a quaint little village (https://image.civitai.com/xG1nkqKTMzGDvpLrqFT7WA/7e9cac5d-220b-43c8-0bd8-187eb5288200/width=450/235535.jpeg). The human inhabitants (https://assetstorev1-prd-cdn.unity3d.com/key-image/a02eb850-024b-4139-87df-47224afb9367.png?v=1) seem wary of a strange zebra-man nearby, but your protean form has allowed you to elude any prying gazes, for the moment. [error]
Name: Fizzleberry
Race: Gnome (female)
Class: Apprentice Mage
Negative Perk: Fear of Fire
STR: 4
DEX: 8
CON: 12
INT: 17
WIS: 11
CHA: 14
Red Gnomish Hat
Magic Wand (heirloom)
Common Red Dress
Gnome-sized Spellbook
Writing Set
Knapsack
Half eaten hardbread
8 Copper Pieces
Bloodlust
Haste
Stoneskin
Dispell Magic
After years of study my master sent me on a quest to prove myself as a mage. My travels have lead me to a quaint little village. I walk in and greet the locals.
❁ Turne 3 ❁
Eat a book to gain knowledge.
1d6: 2
You grab a hefty tome off a nearby shelf and attempt to take a succulent bite out of it. The leatherbound cover does not easily give way however, and you find yourself unable to pierce its thick hide with your teeth, nor swallow it down due to its awkward dimensions. The flavor of antiquated dust and leather fills your mouth, but you taste nothing beyond the external surface of the book. Meanwhile, heightened looks of concern are shot your way from the robed figures, and disconcerted whispers of your doings circulate the hall.
Name: Bulk
Description: A muscular man, wearing nothing but a pair of black socks, heart pattered boxers and pink cross. His eyes are glassy and vacant, drool sometimes dribbles down his chin.
Class: Bulk
Now that I've made friends with the locals, it's time to find out how much money I have by checking my inventory!
1d6: 4
You find a hefty stash in your inventory! 50 gold pieces, as well as a bubbling green potion, a standard issue Gun-fu pistol, and a mysterious note that reads: “ERROR: Text not found. Please contact [ERROR: Admin not found] Is someone there? Please help! I’m [ERROR:ERROR]”
Meanwhile, the sound of shouting fills the air, as bandits suddenly invade the settlement, and villagers begin to run for their lives! Except that strange group of women huddled around a small creature. Whatever that's about.
Name: Blarg
Description: A humanoid with the head of a zebra.
Class: Gun-fu practitioner
Inventory
50 gold pieces
A bubbling green potion
A standard issue Gun-fu pistol
A mysterious note
>Name: $V̷͎̥͔̲͉͍̪͇͙͇̎͆͆͛̑͗̾̓͑̉̍̀́A̷̧̢͓̙̞̯̩̝̠̤̗͈̳͓͑̃̐̔͛͗̎̾̈́̆̉̚͜L̷̨̘̮̜͍̜̦̗̓̃̓̈́͊̐̒̎̃͊͐͝͝͝͝Í̴̤̟̻͕͇͎͓͑̃̅̂̓̃̍̂͘D̷͕̟̦͖̼̳͛̋̀̐̍̉͐̅͑̇̋̄̑ͅ ̷̭̼͈̩̼̯͇̰̪̺̾̈́̈́̎̐̂̄̀̈́̕N̴̤̦͙̱͚̯̹͎͓̪̻͎͕͆͂̔̒̋̇̄̚͜͝͠A̵̻̜͉̞͇̻͐̾̿̂M̸̛̹̃̓̈́͋̎E̸̹̫̼̺͂̿̍͜$
>Race: HUMAN
>Class: Barbarian
>STR - 18
>DEX - 10
>CON - 12
>INT - 8
>WIS - 7
>CHA - 7
>START: Somewhere
1d6: 6
You find yourself in the depths of a dark, forsaken citadel (https://cdn1.epicgames.com/ue/product/Screenshot/Untitled%20design%2028-1920x1080-256bd580ffb367237610bb8e8bd3f45b.png?resize=1&w=1920). Shadows flicker against the ancient stone walls engraved with archaic emblems long forgotten by the world. Looking across the grand colossal archways, a sparkle of fortune catches your eye, and you soon spot the large treasure chest, embroidered with gold and gems. But its custodian is not far, as a ghastly abomination (https://cdn.openart.ai/stable_diffusion/da1502ce4ccaced8aafe944e28841d553fa6f64c_2000x2000.webp) lurches out from the shadows and turns to you with an eyeless, malevolent gaze.
>Name: $V̷͎̥͔̲͉͍̪͇͙͇̎͆͆͛̑͗̾̓͑̉̍̀́A̷̧̢͓̙̞̯̩̝̠̤̗͈̳͓͑̃̐̔͛͗̎̾̈́̆̉̚͜L̷̨̘̮̜͍̜̦̗̓̃̓̈́͊̐̒̎̃͊͐͝͝͝͝Í̴̤̟̻͕͇͎͓͑̃̅̂̓̃̍̂͘D̷͕̟̦͖̼̳͛̋̀̐̍̉͐̅͑̇̋̄̑ͅ ̷̭̼͈̩̼̯͇̰̪̺̾̈́̈́̎̐̂̄̀̈́̕N̴̤̦͙̱͚̯̹͎͓̪̻͎͕͆͂̔̒̋̇̄̚͜͝͠A̵̻̜͉̞͇̻͐̾̿̂M̸̛̹̃̓̈́͋̎E̸̹̫̼̺͂̿̍͜$
>Race: HUMAN
>Class: Barbarian
>STR - 18
>DEX - 10
>CON - 12
>INT - 8
>WIS - 7
>CHA - 7
Name: Fizzleberry
Race: Gnome (female)
Class: Apprentice Mage
Negative Perk: Fear of Fire
STR: 4
DEX: 8
CON: 12
INT: 17
WIS: 11
CHA: 14
Red Gnomish Hat
Magic Wand (heirloom)
Common Red Dress
Gnome-sized Spellbook
Writing Set
Knapsack
Half eaten hardbread
8 Copper Pieces
Bloodlust
Haste
Stoneskin
Dispell Magic
After years of study my master sent me on a quest to prove myself as a mage. My travels have lead me to a quaint little village. I walk in and greet the locals.
1d6: 2
The locals don’t seem to take particularly fond notice of you. Your friendly greetings are met with apathetic disinterest, coupled with mild suspicion. Some regard you with grouchy glances, while others hardly acknowledge your existence. Perhaps it’s your bitsy stature, or your foreign appearance and demeanor, but every person you come upon seems to give you the cold shoulder.
Suddenly, there appears to be some kind of bandit attack happening, as screams fill the air! …Maybe the invaders will show you a bit more warmth than the villagers?
Name: Fizzleberry
Race: Gnome (female)
Class: Apprentice Mage
Negative Perk: Fear of Fire
Stats
STR: 4
DEX: 8
CON: 12
INT: 17
WIS: 11
CHA: 14
Inventory
Red Gnomish Hat
Magic Wand (heirloom)
Common Red Dress
Gnome-sized Spellbook
Writing Set
Knapsack
Half eaten hardbread
8 Copper Pieces
Known Spells
Bloodlust
Haste
Stoneskin
Dispell Magic
Play with this one. Keep out of sight and make scary noises.
1d6: 6
“Huh!? Who’s there!?” the grimey above-worlder jabbers in fright, eyes gaping in your direction but seeing nothing but the ominous sewerscape. “I-I’m warning you! I-I know Gun-fu!” he stammers, raising his hands in a pitiful display of gunless self defense. The scary noises do not stop however, and he is soon driven to the edge of maddening fear. In an outburst of recklessness, he lets out a battle cry as desperate as it is pathetic, before charging into the darkness straight towards you. “HAAARRRRRUUUUUUAAAAA!!!” he screams, arms flailing like mud-slings as he lunges right at you, pelting you on the face with a sludgy fist. In addition to taking 1 damage, you are now also covered in sloppy sewage, as the madman continues throwing maniacal punches at you.
Name: Bitey
Description: A tiny dragon with dreams of growing big.
Class: Dragon
HP: 9/10
/runtime_SpaceMiner.prog
//Target: RedFlag_Monitor.prog
1d6: 6
SpaceMiner.exe:::
Current Data Drill: Bronze Velour
Mining Speed: 1 cubic ⏹ / turn
Total Space Mined: 2 cubic ⏹
Total Space Left: ???
Runtime Diagnostics:::
Turns Running: 2
Estimated Turns Until Completion: ~27,550,000,000
Now Targeting RedFlag_Monitor… ☢️☢️☢️
Procedure successful!
Monitor.exe::: Access granted
Monitor.exe:::
Server Name: SSFRPRPGG
Registered Owner: Serendipity M. Arlox
Player Count: 8
Player List:
Blarg
thing
Bitey
Bulk
$V̷͎̥͔̲͉͍̪͇͙͇̎͆͆͛̑͗̾̓͑̉̍̀́A̷̧̢͓̙̞̯̩̝̠̤̗͈̳͓͑̃̐̔͛͗̎̾̈́̆̉̚͜L̷̨̘̮̜͍̜̦̗̓̃̓̈́͊̐̒̎̃͊͐͝͝͝͝Í̴̤̟̻͕͇͎͓͑̃̅̂̓̃̍̂͘D̷͕̟̦͖̼̳͛̋̀̐̍̉͐̅͑̇̋̄̑ͅ ̷̭̼͈̩̼̯͇̰̪̺̾̈́̈́̎̐̂̄̀̈́̕N̴̤̦͙̱͚̯̹͎͓̪̻͎͕͆͂̔̒̋̇̄̚͜͝͠A̵̻̜͉̞͇̻͐̾̿̂M̸̛̹̃̓̈́͋̎E̸̹̫̼̺͂̿̍͜$
Fizzleberry
None. I'll let someone else give me one. A totally cool and slightly edgy one, rife with super deep symbolism, hopefully.
Flagged Players:
Name not found. {SUSPENDED_ACCOUNT_4}
SpaceMiner.exe:::
Warning: Corrupt Data encountered.
Attempting to resolve…
Attempting to resolve…
Error: Unknown
Error: System Malfunction
Access denied.
Access denied.
Admin not found.
[color=red][ERROR][/color]
Name: Name not found.
Description: Description not found.
Class: Error
Account Status: Level 4 Critical Suspension
SpaceMiner.exe [MALFUNCTIONING]
Monitor.exe [STABLE]
Name: None. I'll let someone else give me one. A totally cool and slightly edgy one, rife with super deep symbolism, hopefully.
Description: smol lizard. Was high school student, totally handsome and smart, and totally not the writer's ideal fantasy-self insert. Was hit by Truck-Kun, reincarnated in another world as skink, but becoming overpowered. I.e the setup for every isekai anime that tries to be super original. Don't worry, i'll have a human form early on by the second issue, completely destroying the original premise. Also all the girls are drawn to me somehow, despite me being a literal tiny fucking lizard lmao, maybe they can see the beauty in my soul or some bullshit like that.
Abilities: Whatever the plot demands in the moment. The ability to copy/absorb the abilities of other monsters is explicit though, probably by eating them. Which also means i can eat stuff way bigger than i should be able to. And also the ability grow bigger by eating stuff, so that i can eat even bigger stuff. Yes, this will inevitably lead to me eating a celestial body by the last (yeah right) chapter.
Staring place: Anywhere.
You find yourself in a, uh… place… uh… a quaint little village (https://image.civitai.com/xG1nkqKTMzGDvpLrqFT7WA/7e9cac5d-220b-43c8-0bd8-187eb5288200/width=450/235535.jpeg), why not! Being a smol lizard you aren't noticed by most of the populace (https://assetstorev1-prd-cdn.unity3d.com/key-image/a02eb850-024b-4139-87df-47224afb9367.png?v=1). Except by a lot of the girls, of course, who huddle around you marveling at the beauty in your soul or some bullshit like that. No seriously there are like twenty village women crowding around you fighting to get even a glimpse of your tiny tail. They hardly even notice the group of bandits coming to burn down the village. I'm pretty sure this is how yanderes are made. You should try to roll some high numbers. And I should try to narrate more uh, Surriously.
Name: None. I'll let someone else give me one. A totally cool and slightly edgy one, rife with super deep symbolism, hopefully.
Description: smol lizard. Was high school student, totally handsome and smart, and totally not the writer's ideal fantasy-self insert. Was hit by Truck-Kun, reincarnated in another world as skink, but becoming overpowered. I.e the setup for every isekai anime that tries to be super original. Don't worry, i'll have a human form early on by the second issue, completely destroying the original premise. Also all the girls are drawn to me somehow, despite me being a literal tiny fucking lizard lmao, maybe they can see the beauty in my soul or some bullshit like that.
Abilities: Whatever the plot demands in the moment. The ability to copy/absorb the abilities of other monsters is explicit though, probably by eating them. Which also means i can eat stuff way bigger than i should be able to. And also the ability grow bigger by eating stuff, so that i can eat even bigger stuff. Yes, this will inevitably lead to me eating a celestial body by the last (yeah right) chapter.
Bonk thee guard. Can't be arresting random people for dancing, that's illegal! Bring him to the jail!
1d6: 6
You bonk the guard and bonk 'em good! The guard becomes indefinitely dazed, as you strap him in his own chains and proceed to deliver him to the jailhouse for some sweet ironic justice. Hearing your reports of police brutality and corruption, the village officials harshly denounce the constabulary, immediately suspending all patrolmen… and leaving the village defenseless to a sudden bandit raid! Chaos spreads through the village like wildfire, as the raiders begin to pillage the settlement, stealing and smashing everything in sight!
me: thing
type: changer
specialty: bonking
place: same anywhere
words: thing is a thing and a changey thing and is brown and has a stick which is long for bonking and can run really fast
"man there were a lot of 6s this turn!" says some rando voice out of nowhere
…Maybe the invaders will show you a bit more warmth than the villagers?
.. or maybe the villagers will treat me more kindly if I help them out?
Cast Haste on myself to act faster. Then cast Stoneskin on a few villagers who are fighting the bandits.
Name: Fizzleberry
Race: Gnome (female)
Class: Apprentice Mage
Negative Perk: Fear of Fire
Stats
STR: 4
DEX: 8
CON: 12
INT: 17
WIS: 11
CHA: 14
Inventory
Red Gnomish Hat
Magic Wand (heirloom)
Common Red Dress
Gnome-sized Spellbook
Writing Set
Knapsack
Half eaten hardbread
8 Copper Pieces
Known Spells
Bloodlust
Haste
Stoneskin
Dispell Magic
This individual MUST be found, and their ass-kicking talents must be awoken! Just laying eyes on me should be enough...
Also, I'll shorten my name down to 'The Protagonist' for the sake ease of writing for now. No, this is totally not narcissistic at all or anything. It's totally just a functional name. I'll only keep it until i am given a better one, which i will humbly accept, because i am just that humble. And definitely not because i am crap at coming up with names.
(Temporary) Name: The Protagonist
Description: smol lizard. Was high school student, totally handsome and smart, and totally not the writer's ideal fantasy-self insert. Was hit by Truck-Kun, reincarnated in another world as skink, but becoming overpowered. I.e the setup for every isekai anime that tries to be super original. Don't worry, i'll have a human form early on by the second issue, completely destroying the original premise. Also all the girls are drawn to me somehow, despite me being a literal tiny fucking lizard lmao, maybe they can see the beauty in my soul or some bullshit like that.
Abilities: Whatever the plot demands in the moment. The ability to copy/absorb the abilities of other monsters is explicit though, probably by eating them. Which also means i can eat stuff way bigger than i should be able to. And also the ability grow bigger by eating stuff, so that i can eat even bigger stuff. Yes, this will inevitably lead to me eating a celestial body by the last (yeah right) chapter.
Current Level: 1
Oh yeah, i forgot to include a level counter before. Gotta have a non-narrative way to tell everyone how much powerful i've become!
Name: HAHAHAHAHA!
Race: Shadar-Kai
Class: Dread Necromancer
Specialty: Blights
…Maybe the invaders will show you a bit more warmth than the villagers?
.. or maybe the villagers will treat me more kindly if I help them out?
Cast Haste on myself to act faster. Then cast Stoneskin on a few villagers who are fighting the bandits.
Name: Fizzleberry
Race: Gnome (female)
Class: Apprentice Mage
Negative Perk: Fear of Fire
Stats
STR: 4
DEX: 8
CON: 12
INT: 17
WIS: 11
CHA: 14
Inventory
Red Gnomish Hat
Magic Wand (heirloom)
Common Red Dress
Gnome-sized Spellbook
Writing Set
Knapsack
Half eaten hardbread
8 Copper Pieces
Known Spells
Bloodlust
Haste
Stoneskin
Dispell Magic
1d6: 5
You feel a surge of arcane power flow through you, imbuing your magic with unimaginable potency! Your Haste spell suffuses you with superhuman speed, making you feel lighter than air and as graceful as a divine being. Arrows whiz through the air in slow motion, and you find yourself able to pluck them right from their trajectory. To the world, you must look like an ethereal blur, existing between dimensions. Your Stoneskin spell activates with similar brilliance, empowering the affected villagers with nigh-imperviousness. The bandits' weapons clatter harmlessly against their diamond-hard bodies, allowing your bestowed allies to easily turn the tide in spectacular fashion. As the invaders are driven back, the few villagers graced by your magic turn to you, marveling at your celestial appearance in newfound reverence.
With the help of a Gun-fu fighting zebraman, you and the villagers are soon able to defeat the bandits and save the village! A few bandits do manage to get away though, kidnapping a few villagers in the process. With the invaders either lying dead on the ground or fled for their lives, the villagers cheer at you and the zebraman - the heroes who saved the day!
[Battle won: Invasion of Quaintsville. EXP Gained: +1]
You are currently affected by Hyper-Haste (lasts 1 turn): You may take an additional action that has a separate roll. All rolls involving dexterity that are less than 5 have a 50% chance to be increased by 1.
Name: Fizzleberry
Race: Gnome (female)
Class: Apprentice Mage
Negative Perk: Fear of Fire
EXP Gained: 1
Stats
STR: 4
DEX: 8
CON: 12
INT: 17
WIS: 11
CHA: 14
Inventory
Red Gnomish Hat
Magic Wand (heirloom)
Common Red Dress
Gnome-sized Spellbook
Writing Set
Knapsack
Half eaten hardbread
8 Copper Pieces
Known Spells
Bloodlust
Haste
Stoneskin
Dispell Magic
Titles Earned
Savior of Quaintsville
Status Effects
Hyper-Haste (1 turn remaining): You may take an additional action that has a separate roll. All rolls involving dexterity that are less than 5 have a 50% chance to be increased by 1.
1d6: 3
I see... This is the "Village gets attacked by invaders and the protagonist saves the village and becomes the mayor" part. But it's too early! I haven't even had time to be shocked by the fact that i am a tiny lizard yet! I really should've set my start as "somewhere out in the forest, where i am discovered by a cute girl looking for berries or something". Can i just restart? No? Ok... How do i do this, then? I really am just a tiny skink, options are kinda limited. Well, i do have a small army of women surrounding me. They'll make fine ninja maids later, but they have to survive this encounter first. I hope none of them are scripted to die... Wait- i know! The male main character always has a female sidekick who is almost as powerful as he is.
This individual MUST be found, and their ass-kicking talents must be awoken! Just laying eyes on me should be enough...
Also, I'll shorten my name down to 'The Protagonist' for the sake ease of writing for now. No, this is totally not narcissistic at all or anything. It's totally just a functional name. I'll only keep it until i am given a better one, which i will humbly accept, because i am just that humble. And definitely not because i am crap at coming up with names.
(Temporary) Name: The Protagonist
Description: smol lizard. Was high school student, totally handsome and smart, and totally not the writer's ideal fantasy-self insert. Was hit by Truck-Kun, reincarnated in another world as skink, but becoming overpowered. I.e the setup for every isekai anime that tries to be super original. Don't worry, i'll have a human form early on by the second issue, completely destroying the original premise. Also all the girls are drawn to me somehow, despite me being a literal tiny fucking lizard lmao, maybe they can see the beauty in my soul or some bullshit like that.
Abilities: Whatever the plot demands in the moment. The ability to copy/absorb the abilities of other monsters is explicit though, probably by eating them. Which also means i can eat stuff way bigger than i should be able to. And also the ability grow bigger by eating stuff, so that i can eat even bigger stuff. Yes, this will inevitably lead to me eating a celestial body by the last (yeah right) chapter.
Current Level: 1
Oh yeah, i forgot to include a level counter before. Gotta have a non-narrative way to tell everyone how much powerful i've become!
You scout about your girl-graced surroundings, seeking to find that one special sidekick whose incredible powers lie dormant just waiting to be awakened by you. After browsing through a dozen pretty, enamored faces, you aren't yet convinced you've found her… and then, off in the distance, someone catches your eye. A cute village girl returning from a trip from the forest with a basket of freshly foraged berries. Her gaze meets yours and she is entranced… but there is hesitation in her eyes. She doesn't understand what she feels, and the momentous significance of your meeting. Confusion and anxiety overwhelm her, as she adamantly resists your charm, denying the power sleeping within her and refusing the call to adventure. Instead of joining the other girls adoringly surrounding you, she steadfastly shies away from you, and her destiny.
Meanwhile, the invading bandits are soon defeated and the village saved thanks to a lightning-fast Gnomish mage and a Gun-fu fighting zebraman. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
(Temporary) Name: The Protagonist
Description: smol lizard. Was high school student, totally handsome and smart, and totally not the writer's ideal fantasy-self insert. Was hit by Truck-Kun, reincarnated in another world as skink, but becoming overpowered. I.e the setup for every isekai anime that tries to be super original. Don't worry, i'll have a human form early on by the second issue, completely destroying the original premise. Also all the girls are drawn to me somehow, despite me being a literal tiny fucking lizard lmao, maybe they can see the beauty in my soul or some bullshit like that.
Abilities: Whatever the plot demands in the moment. The ability to copy/absorb the abilities of other monsters is explicit though, probably by eating them. Which also means i can eat stuff way bigger than i should be able to. And also the ability grow bigger by eating stuff, so that i can eat even bigger stuff. Yes, this will inevitably lead to me eating a celestial body by the last (yeah right) chapter.
Current Level: 1
Bulk rip page out of book and then eat page to gain knowleg
1d6: 3
The book's innards are indeed softer than its shell! You rip a page out of the ancient tome and gobble it down like a soggy potato chip, the flavor of age-old paper filling your mouth. Yet between the stale taste and the unpleasantly dry texture, something intangible seems to cede itself to your will.
Knowleg.
It's hard to decipher just what it means, but you can feel it vaguely filling the recesses of your mind with enigmatic equations and conundrums such as "1 chirp + 2 chirps = 3 chirps" and "if life gives you lemons, build a home up in the trees and feed the lemons to your younglings." And so with these mystic insights unfolding, you soon find yourself with intimate knowledge of the nesting habits of 14 different species of seabirds, along with the know-how of imitating their mating calls. …The more you know!
However, your book-eating delights are soon put to a forcible stop, as a distinctly prominent robed figure strides towards you and wrenches the injured book from your hands with a mortified expression. "You! What have you done!? You've maimed this ancient avian codex beyond repair!" He looks down at the torn page with tragic anguish, before turning to you and pointing a stern finger towards the library exit. "Out! You are henceforth banished from the Grand Library!" he declares furiously, his echoes sounding throughout the great halls.
Name: Bulk
Description: A muscular man, wearing nothing but a pair of black socks, heart pattered boxers and pink cross. His eyes are glassy and vacant, drool sometimes dribbles down his chin.
Class: Bulk
Knowledge
Nesting habits of 14 different species of seabirds, along with the know-how of imitating their mating calls
Bite the goblin and get it bleeding! Hopefully it'll die soon, from the fear, the racing heart, and the dirty sewers.
1d6: 5
*CHOMP!*
In one fell crunch, your jaws find the madman's jugular, causing blood to gush forth in unstoppable quantities. He doesn't even have time to scream before collapsing on the ground, reduced to a twitching mangled mass, his lifeblood flowing profusely out of that gnarly wound. Pretty soon the life is leaving his bewildered eyes, and all that will remain of this random sewer-goer will be a crimson, sewage-covered yet oddly well-dressed corpse.
[Battle won: Enraged Sewer Monkey. EXP Gained: +1]
Name: Bitey
Description: A tiny dragon with dreams of growing big.
Class: Dragon
EXP Gained: 1
HP: 9/10
Bonk the bandits.
1d6: 1
You ready your bonking stick and make for the nearest bandit!... but you miss and bonk a villager instead (and bonked 'em good you did!)! The villager is totally bamboozled (bonkboozled?... bambonkled??) by your bonk, yelping and reeling backwards, knocking down several more villagers behind him. A chain of villagers fall like dominoes due to your inauspicious bonk, as the raiders take full advantage of the situation, killing several of the helpless victims while taking a few more hostage. To make things worse, a stray arrow hits you and you lose 1 HP!
HP: 9/10
Fortunately, the village is soon saved by heroes - a lightning fast Gnomish mage and a Gun-fu fighting zebra-man. The villagers cheer at their saviors, while giving you angry glances.
me: thing
type: changer
specialty: bonking
place: same anywhere
words: thing is a thing and a changey thing and is brown and has a stick which is long for bonking and can run really fast
HP: 9/10
Kill all the bandits with my gun-fu powers!
1d6: 5
In a sequence of spectacular bravado, you maneuver from bandit to bandit, utterly annihilating each and every one of them with fists flying and pistols blazing. None of them even stood a hair of a chance against your godly Gun-fu prowess. One has to wonder why these poor, foolish bastards even tried to invade this unassuming little hamlet. Of course, there were those few bandits who got away with a few village hostages, but the vast majority of the invaders now lie dead and defeated before you. The villagers cheer at you, regarding you as the hero and savior of the village, along with a lightning fast Gnomish mage who similarly helped quell the invaders in heroic fashion. There were, however, not many cheers for the little bonking creature who only managed to worsen the situation before you saved the day.
[Battle won: Invasion of Quaintsville. EXP Gained: +1]
Name: Blarg
Description: A humanoid with the head of a zebra.
Class: Gun-fu practitioner
EXP Gained: 1
Inventory
50 gold pieces
A bubbling green potion
A standard issue Gun-fu pistol
A mysterious note
Titles Earned
Savior of Quaintsville
/runtime_SpaceMiner.prog
//removal_code: Drill/Head/Bronze_Velour
install_code: Drill/Head/Vaccine.dat_Laser.prog
//target: Error.dat/monitor/SSFRPRPGG//admin folder/Chara
//target: corrupt.dat/monitor/programs/RedFlag_Monitor.prog
1d6: 4
SpaceMiner.exe:::
[Data Drill Removed: Bronze Velour]
[Data Drill Installed: Vaccine.dat Laser]
Current Data Drill: Vaccine.dat Laser
Mining Speed: 1,500 cubic ⏹ / turn
Total Space Mined: 1,502 cubic ⏹
Total Space Left: ???
Runtime Diagnostics:::
Turns Running: 3
Estimated Turns Until Completion: ~18,370,000
Corrupt datablocks encountered: 199
Targeting Error.dat/monitor/SSFRPRPGG//admin folder/Chara… ☢️☢️
Procedure successful!
Monitor/System_NPCs::: Partial access granted
Monitor/Admins::: Partial access granted
Targeting corrupt.dat/monitor/programs/RedFlag_Monitor.prog… ☢️☢️
Procedure successful!
Monitor/Corrupted::: Partial access granted
Monitor.exe:::
Server Name: SSFRPRPGG
Registered Owner: Serendipity M. Arlox
Player Count: 9
Player List:
Blarg
thing
Bitey
Bulk
$V̷͎̥͔̲͉͍̪͇͙͇̎͆͆͛̑͗̾̓͑̉̍̀́A̷̧̢͓̙̞̯̩̝̠̤̗͈̳͓͑̃̐̔͛͗̎̾̈́̆̉̚͜L̷̨̘̮̜͍̜̦̗̓̃̓̈́͊̐̒̎̃͊͐͝͝͝͝Í̴̤̟̻͕͇͎͓͑̃̅̂̓̃̍̂͘D̷͕̟̦͖̼̳͛̋̀̐̍̉͐̅͑̇̋̄̑ͅ ̷̭̼͈̩̼̯͇̰̪̺̾̈́̈́̎̐̂̄̀̈́̕N̴̤̦͙̱͚̯̹͎͓̪̻͎͕͆͂̔̒̋̇̄̚͜͝͠A̵̻̜͉̞͇̻͐̾̿̂M̸̛̹̃̓̈́͋̎E̸̹̫̼̺͂̿̍͜$
Fizzleberry
The Protagonist
HAHAHAHAHA!
Flagged Players:
Name not found. {SUSPENDED ACCOUNT}
System NPCs:
Villagers []
Escaped Bandits []
Villager Hostages []
Grand Librarians []
[s]Bleeding Madman[/s]
Unknown4444
…and 1,845,378 more
Admins:
Serendipity
Aiko
IteratorX
WorldSustain
Tophat
namelol
...and 1 more
Corrupted map sectors detected:
Dark_Forest.map
Desert_City.map
…and 7 more
Corrupted items detected:
Elven_Sweetbread.item
A_mysterious_note.item
…and 476 more
Corrupted system files detected:
system32.dat
AikoMissive.txt
Game.exe
…and 19 more
Warning: Continued Unauthorized Activity Detected! Deploying Countermeasures…
Warning: You Asked For It!
Hostile program detected: Defender.exe
Access to SpaceMiner.exe lost!
SpaceMiner.exe: Access denied.
[Hehe] HaHaHa! Let That Be A Lesson To Uou, MisBehaving User! [Hehe] [error]
Name: Name not found.
Description: Description not found.
Class: Error
Account Status: Level 4 Critical Suspension
SpaceMiner.exe [MALFUNCTIONING] [LOCKED]
Monitor.exe [STABLE]
>SUDUCE 'ghastly abomination' USING 'abdominal muscles'
1d6: 3
The [ghastly abomination] seems intrigued by your [abdominal muscles]! Its attitude seems to have shifted from [murderous bloodlust] to [coy reluctance], as it stammers a fiendish giggle, a light blush appearing on its deathly-cold, phantasmal cheek. It remains hesitant however, attempting to resist the draw of temptation away from its guardian duties, yet by the melancholic demeanor of its eyeless nightmarish face, it seems to helplessly pine for you and your manly fitness.
>Name: $V̷͎̥͔̲͉͍̪͇͙͇̎͆͆͛̑͗̾̓͑̉̍̀́A̷̧̢͓̙̞̯̩̝̠̤̗͈̳͓͑̃̐̔͛͗̎̾̈́̆̉̚͜L̷̨̘̮̜͍̜̦̗̓̃̓̈́͊̐̒̎̃͊͐͝͝͝͝Í̴̤̟̻͕͇͎͓͑̃̅̂̓̃̍̂͘D̷͕̟̦͖̼̳͛̋̀̐̍̉͐̅͑̇̋̄̑ͅ ̷̭̼͈̩̼̯͇̰̪̺̾̈́̈́̎̐̂̄̀̈́̕N̴̤̦͙̱͚̯̹͎͓̪̻͎͕͆͂̔̒̋̇̄̚͜͝͠A̵̻̜͉̞͇̻͐̾̿̂M̸̛̹̃̓̈́͋̎E̸̹̫̼̺͂̿̍͜$
>Race: HUMAN
>Class: Barbarian
>STR - 18
>DEX - 10
>CON - 12
>INT - 8
>WIS - 7
>CHA - 7
Name: HAHAHAHAHA!
Race: Shadar-Kai
Class: Dread Necromancer
Specialty: Blights
You find yourself in a quaint little village (https://image.civitai.com/xG1nkqKTMzGDvpLrqFT7WA/7e9cac5d-220b-43c8-0bd8-187eb5288200/width=450/235535.jpeg)! It seems there's been a huge battle here recently, with the bodies of recently slain bandits as well as villagers lying about. The village seems to be at peace now, and people are cheering at a few heroes who apparently helped save the day.
Name: HAHAHAHAHA!
Race: Shadar-Kai
Class: Dread Necromancer
Specialty: Blights
Damn. Unfortune. But i can't go following her. I can't show any interest in these females or anything that might be seen that way. No, she'll come around on her own. Besides, this whole attack by the bandits was just a gag anyway. You know the whole, "a group of girls is distracted by a small critter, totally oblivious to the battle happening around them.". I bet the whole battle was out of focus too, and the camera was instead focused on the big ass of one of the village girls, who happens to be conspicuously bent downward. It's a good one, that one.
Anyway, shouldn't i get XP as well? Sure i didn't participate in the battle per-se, but i still did technically save the girls, by getting them out of harm's way, while the overgeared NPC characters—and my probable future rivals—cleaned up the bandits. Ever the under-appreciated hero. And i think i figured out why the village girls are so drawn to me! It's not because they "see the beauty in my soul" or some bullshit like that. That's nonsense. No, it's because my scales are pure white, and the village has a legend about a guardian beast, that happens to be a massive white-scaled lizard. Yes, that's it! And it just happens to be particularly prevalent among women...
But for now, i have to pretend to be a totally normal lizard. Gotta look for some food. Some flies or berries or something. It'd be a shame if i were to carelessly and accidentally scamper under a girl's skirt and up her leg in search of food... For plot reasons, of course.
(Temporary) Name: The Protagonist
Description: (currently) smol white lizard. Was high school student, totally handsome and smart, and totally not the writer's ideal fantasy-self insert. Was hit by Truck-Kun, reincarnated in another world as skink, but becoming overpowered. I.e the setup for every isekai anime that tries to be super original. Will have a human form early on by the second issue, completely destroying the original premise. Also all the girls are drawn to him for some reason, despite him being a literal tiny fucking lizard (lmao). Possibly because there's a legend about him.
Abilities: Whatever the plot demands in the moment. The ability to copy/absorb the abilities of other monsters by eating them is explicit though. Which also means the protagonist can eat stuff way bigger than he should be able to. And also the ability grow bigger by eating stuff, so that he can eat even bigger stuff. Yes, this will inevitably lead to him eating a celestial body by the last (yeah right) chapter.
Current Level: 1
I've also pared down my Examine text. Now with fewer first-person references, less ambiguity, and is slightly shorter. Because i am humble.