*NOTE: This story may deal with adult subject matter. Nothing worse than what you’ll find perusing the legends screen, but in actual detail.
Part one: Degel Steamattics
Degel Steamattics was the toughest of the dwarves. At the dawn of time, she had dedicated herself to war. After stalking the wilds for five years of hunting she encountered the dread cougar Elderfat, the slayer of Pickrhyming. Inexperienced, Degel allowed the cougar to escape. A month later, Inod Patternedgills fought with the beast. Inod ripped the beast’s leg off. Elderfat killed him. Degel was horrified that she had had the chance to kill the cougar and had failed. Within a year, Steamattics stalked, ambushed, and slaughtered the beast. She returned to the great dwarven settlement of Gildlove a hero.
Degel continued to hunt the wilds. 15 years, and many groundhogs, later, Degel Steamattics found a worthy opponent. She was attacked by a cougar. An epic battle ensued. The famous hunter of The Chaste Orbs was soundly defeated. She barely escaped with her life. Degel spent three years chasing the cougar, named Trussedheals after the killing of a merchant. When the hunter caught up with her quarry, she found Trussedheals barely clinging to life. Degel quickly gained the upper hand on the killer beast. Before she could finish him, Trussedheals launched one last attack. The heavy kick sent her tumbling into the river. The cougar was later slain by a cousin of Steamattic’s. Eshtan Paintattics, having earlier torn the cougar’s nose off, finally caught up and killed him.
When the Balanced Snarl declared war on the dwarves, Degel joined the army. Wearing only the best armor, Degel struck fear into the hearts of the elvish bastards. Fighting with speed and ferocity, yet armored against all strikes, Degel fought hard. The Armored Hawk killed many elves in the course of the Assaulted Conflict. Yet, Degel looked out after her troops more than anything else. Before long, she was known as Degel Steamattics: The Armored Hawk of Medicine. Over the first few years of the war, she single-handedly killed twenty-six elves. She had maimed, hamstrung, and incapacitated many more. 60 years after beginning hunting, The Armored Hawk had claimed two hundred and forty-six lives.
Ale Rocksberries's tale:
Ale Rocksberries had a large engraving of Degel behind her desk. The Armored Hawk was the elven general’s proudest kill. Rocksberries looked back on the day with happiness. She had urged the elven ranks forward with gusto, proclaiming that there were only five dwarves. Steamattics fought five elven swordsmen at once. Ale shot her poisoned arrow. Degel Steamattics had blinked hard. Ale whistled loud. The elven king, Lini Hairygulf fired his longbow. The heavier arrow punched through even the plating on the Armored Hawk. Degel Steamattics managed to kill the last of the canon fodder before succumbing to her wounds. With the death of Degel Steamattics the Armored Hawk of Medicine, the tide of the war turned. The elves began to push the dwarves back.
Ale got up from her desk, knocking over her golden goblet of dwarven vodka. She stared hard at Urist, chained to a wall. Stretching his chain to its limit, the slave rushed to clean the spill up. In his haste, the ornate chain clanked loudly. Ale felt herself get angry. How dare it make noise? She kicked the dwarf hard and left in anger. Urist labored to remove the drink from his hand carved engravings.
Rocksberries strode out of her hometree. There were several other trees growing nearby, although no others were fit for habitation. Two elves saluted with their bows. Then returned to watching the workers. The dwarves would repair the damage that they had done to Nature. Ale continued on her path.
A human opened stone door for Ale. The elf took several staircase down, into the depths of Ocular Dimensions. The stone here was freshly hewn. Ale stopped at a nondescript portion of the tunnel. She carefully checked the hidden floodgate, making sure that it hadn’t been tampered with. Satisfied that it was fine, Ale kept walking. A few meters later, the nimble elf jumped forward. The hidden pressure plate would have flooded the entire sector if tripped. No one but a elf could jump that far, the ultimate defense.
Another elf was at the end of the hallway. He stood with a heavy wooden spear. Cana turned and shouted through a grate, “Move away from the door! NOW!”
The guard unbolted the heavy door and led the way inside. The dwarves shrunk back in fear while Cana menaced them with his spear. Ale turned and addressed the slaves. “It has come to my attention that some of you have been breaking the rules.”
Rocksberries strode to a corner and shoved a filthy dwarf out of the way. Whipping a pig tail blanket (undyed and showing some wear) off of the floor, the engraving was revealed. It was a picture of a dwarf and an elf. The dwarf is maiming the elf. The engraving related to the tearing of the fourth left finger of the elf Ale Rocksberries by Degel Steamattics the Armored Hawk of Medicine in 54. Ale kept her composure, “Who did this?”
The dwarves were quick to squeal. Cana drug the unlucky old bastard out of the holding cell. Ale removed an object from her toga. She lit the cocktail and threw it. The small barrel of wine that was the alcohol ration for that month burst into flames. Ale turned and left. Cana threw the body of the foolish dwarf inside and slammed the door. The booze exploded, showering the dwarves with burning fragments. Ale smiled at the screams.