Bay 12 Games Forum

Finally... => Life Advice => Topic started by: Skelodwarf on March 31, 2009, 07:50:56 pm

Title: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Skelodwarf on March 31, 2009, 07:50:56 pm
Well, in light of my being generally hated, I'm quite looking forward to April Fools, as it is generally a day on which people learn to dislike me even more!

I'm thinking of just being generally kind, nice, and well mannered all day long. Holding doors and such, giving helpful pieces to advise to those who want it. And being rather chivalrous, all that saucy jazz.

Other then the fact that abusing my general personality like this is rather hard for me, I still want to do it. Any other suggestions from people?

This is based in a highschool environment.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Zai on March 31, 2009, 08:00:48 pm
So you're just going to be nice in every possible way? If people respond well to it (as they should), then you should probably do stuff like that as often as you are comfortable with.

But don't give advice to people who don't ask you for it.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: soup_alex on March 31, 2009, 08:09:12 pm
Don't find an excuse to be a do-gooder; if you're capable of doing one selfless thing, then why not keep at it, as Zai describes?

Skel, are you hated? I do not know. I do not hate you. As someone who doesn't hate you, and doesn't see evidence that you are hated, this looks like the kind of self-deprecation I am all-too familiar with, that can essentially be summarised as fishing for compliments.

I'm worried that, with tomorrow (today) being what it is, your attempts to be of more-than-average-level-helpful to all and sundry may be met with extreme suspicion.


I'd also like to echo Zai's wise advice (heh!) to not go about offering advice that isn't solicited. That said, I am feeling like I could use some advice, myself (though not from a high-schooler! :P)


Nonetheless, good luck with being an altruist, should you decide to go ahead with it (and don't be surprised when people don't automatically stop being selfish cockbags)
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Skelodwarf on March 31, 2009, 08:25:32 pm
Trust me, I'm not fishing for compliments. I just have a rather abrasive and critical (I'm rather good at finding flaws in... well, anything! [That I can understand] I'm not so great at keeping my mouth shut) personality that tends to rub people the wrong way.

And I know not to give advice where I'm not wanted, but this is highschool, and I'm ahead of most of the class (Being held back for reasons other then intelligence does that) so If I can pull off the subtle hints and tips without ego, it should work.

As to the quite obvious "If it works, just keep doing it" thing, It's like lying to me, (Something I suck at and detest) and I can't keep up a charade.

You all probably remember being a teenaged hormonal being who's every move is regulated my emotion, so this MIGHT make some modicum of sense to all you oldies.

Also: Suspicion, I'm not too worried about this. I believe the phrase is (not) "Eat the cake while you can." Confused? Yes! Suspicious? Nope.

Also, suspicion requires intelligence and the ability to note something amiss. (And reason to care >:3 )

And as I seem to just be rambling from conscious thought to conscious thought: Might as well mention this.

Is it rude/evil/mean/cruel/bad to take advantage of this one day of civility to try and win back a friend? (Note: This wouldn't be me trying to trick someone into being my friend for a day, and then letting them down and pissing them off the next day [I do that enough already], this would be using the one day of niceness to hopefully put myself on better standings to undoubtedly let them down on a later date)

I'll probably post the entire story in a different thread later, just for the giggles of HSDrama.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: soup_alex on March 31, 2009, 08:40:32 pm
Quote from: Skelodwarf on March 31, 2009, 08:25:32 pm
Is it rude/evil/mean/cruel/bad to take advantage of this one day of civility to try and win back a friend?
No. But what makes today so important?
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: inaluct on March 31, 2009, 08:52:22 pm
You won't win back your friend, Skelodwarf. If you think people hate you, there's a good chance that you don't realize how pathetic and contemptible they think you are.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: soup_alex on March 31, 2009, 09:01:36 pm
I didn't know you were such a die-hard pessimist, inaluct? (well, perhaps you are being an realist, here, and I'm being abnormally optimistic (for yours truly) and supportive because I'm sympathetic to Skel's situation, i.e. I'm afraid that I've upset/pissed someone off and I want to be able to make up with them again)

In any case, I would say that folk don't necessarily hold you to be contemptible just because you think they do; on the other hand, believing so could create a self-fulfilling prophecy where you're already so given over to the "absolute certainity" that they hate you, that they eventually will.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Cthulhu on March 31, 2009, 09:19:40 pm
That's weird, I'm a pretty caustic person IRL too, but everyone's pretty cool with me.  I don't do it to everyone, that may be the reason, although the person towards whom I'm most aggressive seems to be trying to emulate me.  It's weird.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Little on March 31, 2009, 09:44:16 pm
Quote from: inaluct on March 31, 2009, 08:52:22 pm
You won't win back your friend, Skelodwarf. If you think people hate you, there's a good chance that you don't realize how pathetic and contemptible they think you are.

Hate to be harsh, but that's the way it is.

Advice from a fellow highschooler: Find a small circle of like minded intellectuals, join their group/make a group, and be polite as possible to everyone else. Assuming your reputation(*shudder*) has not already been dragged so far through the mud it cannot be clean, people should come to be neutral towards you.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Zai on March 31, 2009, 10:07:49 pm
Quote from: Skelodwarf on March 31, 2009, 08:25:32 pm
Is it rude/evil/mean/cruel/bad to take advantage of this one day of civility to try and win back a friend? (Note: This wouldn't be me trying to trick someone into being my friend for a day, and then letting them down and pissing them off the next day [I do that enough already], this would be using the one day of niceness to hopefully put myself on better standings to undoubtedly let them down on a later date)

I don't see why you can't do this any other day. But in any case, just sincerely apologize for anything that may have happened between the two of you and continue being nice to them. Assuming nothing too serious happened to cause your separation as friends, they should accept you back.

You (Skelodwarf) may just be imagining some of this hatred (i.e. assuming the worst when their opinion of you may be much higher than you expect). Unless you're actually getting beat up or something like that. Then you're probably not imagining anything at all. >,>
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Maggarg - Eater of chicke on April 01, 2009, 11:30:33 am
Quote from: Skelodwarf on March 31, 2009, 07:50:56 pm
I'm thinking of just being generally kind, nice, and well mannered all day long. Holding doors and such, giving helpful pieces to advise to those who want it. And being rather chivalrous, all that saucy jazz.

I'm like that anyway.
Trust me, you'll get bored of holding doors open.
Damn class full of girls means I have to stand there for aaaages.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Brendan on April 01, 2009, 11:50:01 am
Quote
I'm thinking of just being generally kind, nice, and well mannered all day long. Holding doors and such, giving helpful pieces to advise to those who want it. And being rather chivalrous, all that saucy jazz.
Expect homophobic comments from both genders.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Psyco Jelly on April 01, 2009, 01:35:40 pm
Quote from: Skelodwarf on March 31, 2009, 08:25:32 pm

You all probably remember being a teenage hormonal being who's every move is regulated my emotion, so this MIGHT make some modicum of sense to all you oldies.


Wait, I'm 15 and most people say I don't have enough emotion. And people in high school hate me because I have a 4.3 (weighted) GPA and still sleep half the time.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Hawkfrost on April 01, 2009, 02:25:03 pm
For April Fools my teacher sent a classmate who was late out to another teacher with a note in an evelope that said "Act real serious, and send this to another teacher."

She got sent to about 20 different teachers, and when she finally came back she was almost crying because she thought she was getting kicked out of the school.

All my teacher said when she came back was, "April Fools!"
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Skelodwarf on April 01, 2009, 02:48:49 pm
Ah yes, I'm afraid I used too strong a word. Hate wouldn't really be it, but if they had to choose to hang out alone, or with my, they would be alone.

It's not that they want to cause me harm, its just they would rather not put up with me I guess.

In the end, my old friend actually misses me, but doesn't exactly want to hang out with me.

>.>

Or more, wants me to hang out with her and her new friends, which is what ruined all of this in the first place.

This was a truly unthought out thread on my part, and for that I apologize. You need to know the backstory otherwise it won't make sense. I guess I'll write it up for giggles later.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: vitaoma on April 05, 2009, 07:04:21 pm
I think you're just being too serious... I mean I was like that, I had A in nearly everything. Just be less self-concious and fail more. Failing is good being too perfect makes people think you're really abnormal.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Maggarg - Eater of chicke on April 06, 2009, 07:20:35 am
Don't fail too much or people assume you're stupid or so lazy you consider not breathing.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Jakkarra on April 08, 2009, 06:32:52 am
if people simply dislike you, rather than loathing your very being, id suggest wandering around during the day, acting mildly stoned, no-one ever bothered me,apart from one person, but he was a cretin anyway.

(note, i was not actually stoned.)

love, jakkarra.

P.S, i wouldent suggest going thriough with your plan... it may have dire consequences later.......

Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Cthulhu on April 08, 2009, 10:37:04 am
Vitaoma's plan is stupid.  If you're getting straight As, don't throw them away so people will think better of you.  If you do that, you might as well go the whole way:
Spoiler: Follow these guidelines (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Yanlin on April 10, 2009, 05:31:52 am
Gotta love WikiHow.

http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Being-Viewed-As-a-Nerd
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Jakkarra on April 10, 2009, 05:38:52 am
im glad that im a geek rather than a nerd.

theres a difference, research it.

Love, jakkarra
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Darkone on April 10, 2009, 07:51:03 am
Meh. I'm rather geeky/nerdy, but I don't have to fail to get along with people. Hell, most of them appreciate that I tend to be good in class, and can help them with work :P

Don't fail classes just to get accepted; it just makes you a fucking moron if you do so. Cthulu got it perfectly right  ;D
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Yanlin on April 10, 2009, 08:09:45 am
Would you believe that a school counselor suggested that I stop being better that everyone else at stuff so that people would stop picking on me? Yeah. Stop being better in math, linguistics, literature, science and art. The only thing I sucked at was sports.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Zironic on April 10, 2009, 10:37:16 am
Quote from: Little on March 31, 2009, 09:44:16 pm
Quote from: inaluct on March 31, 2009, 08:52:22 pm
You won't win back your friend, Skelodwarf. If you think people hate you, there's a good chance that you don't realize how pathetic and contemptible they think you are.

Hate to be harsh, but that's the way it is.

Advice from a fellow highschooler: Find a small circle of like minded intellectuals, join their group/make a group, and be polite as possible to everyone else. Assuming your reputation(*shudder*) has not already been dragged so far through the mud it cannot be clean, people should come to be neutral towards you.

I've tried this, however the circle of intellectuals are way more f*cked up than I am. I live in a horrible area. However I have connections in the college I am going too.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Org on April 10, 2009, 09:09:35 pm
Quote from: Yanlin on April 10, 2009, 08:09:45 am
Would you believe that a school counselor suggested that I stop being better that everyone else at stuff so that people would stop picking on me? Yeah. Stop being better in math, linguistics, literature, science and art. The only thing I sucked at was sports.
This is basically me.
I am good at everything, basically.
Except Sports.
Im just not athletic. I dont care about it either.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Emperor_Jonathan on April 10, 2009, 10:05:34 pm
Me too!

I like sports, just not good at it.

Although I'm not picked on.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Mulch Diggums on April 11, 2009, 03:45:01 am
Quote from: Psyco Jelly on April 01, 2009, 01:35:40 pm
And people in high school hate me because I have a 4.3 (weighted) GPA and still sleep half the time.
Hate to burst your bubble of happiness, I realy do, but I doubt people hate you for that reason, if they hate you at all. I personally wouldn't hate any one because they have a higher GPA than me, but, thats me, maby the general public is diferent. I dont know. But im thinking that the reason they have some distaste for you is because your either, annoying, or a jackass.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: JoshuaFH on April 11, 2009, 04:00:11 am
What Mulch said, people aren't thinking to themselves "I'd be that guy's friend, BUT I HATE HIS GPA SO MUCH!!!".

I don't have a lot of friends IRL, mainly because I have deep-seated social anxiety, depression, and lack of useful social skills.

Now, I'm not saying you're any of these things, but it pays to know thyself, or somesuch.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Yanlin on April 12, 2009, 05:30:30 pm
The only reason I don't have any friends is because of my over inflated definition of friends. None of the people I know I would call friends. Even if they would do otherwise.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: ToonyMan on April 12, 2009, 07:48:03 pm
Everybody I walk by in school shouts my name and gives me high-fives.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Org on April 12, 2009, 07:52:07 pm
Quote from: Yanlin on April 12, 2009, 05:30:30 pm
The only reason I don't have any friends is because of my over inflated definition of friends. None of the people I know I would call friends. Even if they would do otherwise.
Would you say you area non comformist?
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Yanlin on April 13, 2009, 04:39:07 am
If you've seen the kind of thing I have to conform to, you'd say otherwise.

Yeah. Because drugs, smoking, cheating on your girlfriend, stealing, bullying, getting into trouble with the police, beating up people over the slightest thing and being an overall idiot is something I should conform to.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: ToonyMan on April 13, 2009, 10:36:16 am
High-five!
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Yanlin on April 13, 2009, 10:52:25 am
As long as it's not a "high" high five. Damn drug addicts can't even high-five properly.
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: ToonyMan on April 13, 2009, 11:13:31 am
Knuckle thing!
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Yanlin on April 13, 2009, 11:38:31 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Are you sure?
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: ToonyMan on April 13, 2009, 11:46:30 am
I fear no X!
Title: Re: Generally Hated, and fun!
Post by: Yanlin on April 13, 2009, 11:49:50 am
Right. We're derailing this fine thread with our foolery. Stop it. Please.