Bay 12 Games Forum
Finally... => Life Advice => Topic started by: dei on April 13, 2009, 11:46:47 am
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The past few days, life has gotten even more boring than usual. I have virtually no one to talk to or chat with, and the majority of my games have lost any value of fun. To top that, I have a crappy computer, no private internet connection, and I'm poor.
Let me explain.
A few weeks ago, ten or so people, whom I considered friends, decided to block me simultaneously in the internet chats. Four others either no longer talk to me or are too busy with their real lives. As such, I have no one to chat with online most days. Also, everyone I keep on trying to add is unable to be added, due to a flaw in Meebo, and a lack of any access to MSN Messenger or even Hotmail at the nearest computer I have access to with internet.
Also, due to a lack of social skills caused by a developmental disorder I have (Aspergers), I never had the chance to make any real friends, so now I find myself starved for conversation in real life as well. The only persons I have any way of talking to are my counselors and my mother, who lives a couple towns over.
I also recently got tricked into downgrading to a crappy computer with 733 MHZ, 128 MB RAM, and a 64 MB video card, not to mention 7 GB harddrive. And now since my old computer, whose stats were a lot better, is in pieces and has a broken fan that I cannot replace, I am stuck with a shitty PC until I get $250 for a better one.
Thing is, I get about $50 a week from social security, and most of that goes towards food. Don't tell me I should get a job, as I have no experience outside of fast food and janitorial services, and they are not hiring. My mother and payee saves the rest for me, and also uses $525 of it to pay my rent, which comes with utilities, phone, and cable, because I apparently live in a clean and sober house, whilst never having such a problem that would require me to live in one.
To top it off, I have to walk miles over steep terrain just to go grocery shopping, and I'm both photosensitive and allergic to most forms of pollen.
On another subject, the majority of my computer games have gotten boring, and I can't find most of the ones I had backed up. The only ones with some fun left in them are Elona and Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup. Most I can find these days won't run or fit on my computer. I could improve my video card status, but first I need to repair a partially broken monitor that no longer displays things correctly (everything is not fitting on the screen).
This is only part of what is going on, as some of it I cannot share due to unusual content, and fear of being made fun of.
Advice? Anyone willing to chat with me somehow?
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I was suggesting you take up parkour, but that seems like a bad idea. You're photosensitive. That WILL be a problem. It sounds like you have weak skin rather than a weakness to light. Or you're just extremely pale.
Sounds to me like you need to take up a hobby of sorts. Something healthy. Again, Parkour is your best option if you can tolerate failing at first and the slight injuries. It costs nothing to do it. You can just find a patch of grass with a few benches and you're set.
When you get your computer back, I say you buy TF2. It's only $20 and it is infinitely fun.
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When my karma strikes like that, I tend to grab a book and go out, some club that isnt too loud or blinky light style.
I buy myself a beer and just sit there and read.
It accomplishes several things for me:
For some weird reason it satisfies my need for socializing without actually having to actively make new "friends", which is kind of nice, since, when you're down, it can be a pita to talk to strangers.
The thing with the allergies is a bitch, tho. Because a little walk (or a bikeriding session) in the fresh air can go a long way in making you feel better. The brain needs UV light (and a good measure of darkness, too) to work properly and produce all the chemicals you need to stay stable. I mean, your photosensitivity can be overcome by a pair of sunglasses, but the pollen allergy can be a bit more problematic. Some people can cure that just by pure willpower, some people need medicine, or just a big bag of paper towels ;D
Anyways, I guess I know how you feel, but I've had my share of luck lately. That keeps me going and I'm pretty darn grateful for that. Sunshine, however, is the one thing I'm relying on a LOT at the moment.
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Volunteer. It's a productive way to spend time, costs nothing, makes you feel good about yourself and is a great way to meet people. Check the internet for organizations in your area, there's bound to be some that could use help.
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I thought photosensitivity referred to sensitive skin... Not sensitive eyes...
Right. Buy some sunglasses, use a rubber band or something to make sure they don't fall off and go do some parkour. Trust me. It's awesome. You'll also be better than all your friends at running and moving in general.
A lot of videos will discuss how to do fancy stuff like wallrunning and tictacs. In reality, those are hardly ever used. In fact, about 99% of the times they are used, it's for free running. The "Show-off" form of Parkour.
These are generally useful:
http://www.expertvillage.com/video-series/128_parkour.htm
I swear by how useful Wikihow is.
http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Started-in-Parkour-or-Free-Running
http://www.wikihow.com/Land-a-Jump-in-Parkour
http://www.wikihow.com/Category:Parkour
It's a good sport. Your parents may object though.
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Find some music you like, and crank it way up. I'd suggest Aerosmith for a good pick-me-up, but that's just because I'm an old-fashioned twit who actually likes stuff like that.
If this is a recurring (or constant) problem, I'd suggest picking up an instrument of some sort. It would be recommended to have some other sort of stress-relief for the early parts though, because learning how to play something is one of the most hideously frustrating and often painful experiences known to mankind.
But once you can comfortably play something, man... There's nothing quite like it for tapping the soul and letting off some pressure.
Dungeon Crawl has a funny way of biting you in the ass from time to time, and if you don't have something else to play during the periods when you're fed up with it, things can get quite dull.
A couple old games with lots of replay value (and which just happened to pop into my head right now) are Dungeon Keeper and Sacrifice. Sacrifice is great for blowing stuff up and lots of spectacularly entertaining bloodshed, but it does take a little more PC-oomph than the average roguelike (still though, it's from 2000. Not VERY high hardware requirements, and the graphics have a funny way of still looking good even today).
The Dungeon Keeper series is excellent for smacking lowly minions about, plus loads of good-humored mayhem and destruction. Dungeon Keeper 1 has exceptionally low hardware requirements, and is superior to its successor in a couple aspects. However, Dungeon Keeper 2 has updated graphics (and while they don't have *quite* the charm of the first one, they're still good), and MUCH greater freedom. Not only can you freely and easily play skirmish matches against the AI, you can also go back and play previously-beaten missions (both of these are a little more difficult to work out in the original). And that's not even mentioning the level editor, where you can create all kinds of delightful madness once you figure out how everything works (which, admittedly, isn't that straightforward. Also, you need to download the editor separately. It doesn't come with the main game).
Both (all three) of these have rather low hardware requirements and can be purchased for very reasonable prices (Sacrifice, for instance, can be purchased from Good Old Games for six bucks). That, and a very hefty portion of their entertainment value can be gleaned through singleplayer (even though they all boast rather impressively good multiplayer, Sacrifice in particular).
As for actually talking to people or fulfilling your social needs, you'll have to listen to someone else because I have no bleedin' clue on the subject.
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Thank you both for the input. I was not expecting such a quick reply. Nor two more as I was typing.
Parkour does sound interesting. I could try it sometime I suppose. Will need to remember to check out those links when I have more free time. My mother would not object, as I live alone at this time, and she wants me to be more physically active.
Also, I do have a computer, it's just crap. There is a place where I can get a fairly modern computer for $250, and a monitor for $99. It would take me several months to save that much up.
And also, Puck, it's not just a lack of friends, but a lack of the ability to make them. Due to my Aspergers, I can't even get up the courage to talk to another person most days, without the internet. I never even had friends or a girlfriend growing up.
I also happen to volunteer once a week, DJ, at a recreation center for the disabled. As I am disabled too, I am also one of their clients, but never the less, I volunteer, cooking, on Fridays. I enjoy cooking very much, and wish I had the money to do a lot more of it.
Also, thank you for the game recommendations Kagus. I will check them out. However, doesn't GOG require internet purchases? I cannot do that without heading out to the library at this time, because I don't have a private internet connection. But I will keep that in mind.
Finally, I am going to be going grocery shopping today, as today I get money from my payee. So a two hour walk may do me good. But from personal experience, I feel worse after any amount of sunlight. It's why I stay inside when I don't have to go anywhere, unless it's cloudy or rainy. But I understand why it would benefit me to get some sunglasses, or in my case, clip ons for my regular glasses.
Also, I listen to music almost constantly, because it cheers me up quite a bit, and I like what it does to me. Most music I listen to is either Japanese Pop, Black Metal, or Techno, though I'll listen to anything that isn't gospel, country, or rap.
Anyhow, I will be back another day. As I said, I am using a public connection at this time, and I'm afraid I have to go shopping now. Thank you all for the advice.
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Your mom may still object. Parkour is what idiots call dangerous. It's because of twits like these.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBfV6DouwG8
For the record, ALL of them failed at EVERY POSSIBLE PART. INCLUDING the falling. (Something many incorrectly think is impossible to do incorrectly. Falling is half the landing.)
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Socializing and getting out of a comfort zone are very important when it comes to life in general. To me it seems you are afraid of both. Even though you have Aspergers there is no way it is stopping you from making even a small group of close friends. I understand it is difficult to read into the social cues many of us are naturally able to read but I have met people that with the disease and remained friends with them. Maybe not an everyday friend but nonetheless I still considered them a friend. I know of people not personally that FOUGHT the disease. They went to big crowded areas and practiced their social skills. Malls, concerts, etc. They might have looked goofy or weird and struggled a lot but in the end they became better people because of it.
I think what you should do stop worrying about computers, games, and the internet all together. Start leaving the house and meet people. Join a club or a sport. Take a few classes at a local college and that can be your stepping stone to a good paying job. Don't be a prisoner in your own home. There will be a point in your life that there will be no one to take care of you. No one will give you money (Unless the government will...) or buy your food and get the mail. Fight Aspergers and don't let it become a liability in your life. Easier said than done but it is possible..
Would you rather be inside all day and just play video games or go out into the world and meet intresting people and see places? You seem like a smart guy and I wish all the best.
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Heh. I'd do just that, but if you knew the kind of people I had to socialize with... Let's just say I'd rather not.
Let's just say that pretty much everyone smokes, does drugs, or both. That is simply unacceptable to me. Catch: It's impossible to socialize with smart people here as locations where smart people gather do not exist.
There are no computer clubs here. Chess clubs are full of hypocritical elitist assholes. (Who aren't that smart to begin with...) There are no parkour groups. (Not that I know of anyway. All the parkour groups I found are actually free-running groups that just want to show off.) D&D doesn't even exist here as far as I know. Only 2nd hand rulebooks in poor condition. (Overpriced too.) There are no real sports clubs here. It's all overpriced and the guide is generally a money grubbing ass.
So all I'm left with are clubs. I hate them. Drugs everywhere, loud horrible music, flickery ass lights and assholes everywhere.
Any tips where I could find smart people then?
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Yanlin, that's the only post where you didn't suggest parkour.
I say volounteering.
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Well Taniec, thank you for the advice. I keep forgetting about the friends I do actually have. It's when I get into these states of melancholy and depression that I forget that I have a few friends, even if most of them are nowhere near my age. Hell, even my counselors are my friends on one level.
I have recently considered going back to college. The problem is I owe one such institution about $400 in back financial aid. Nevertheless, I plan on going back this Autumn at the earliest. What I want to do with my life, frankly, is either cook for a living or become a parapsychologist, both things relating to deep passions of mine : the culinary and the occult.
I technically am a member of the drop in center, a recreation center for the disabled, so I suppose that is a club. Therefor, I have recreational activities to go to.
And yes, quite frankly, there are times where I wish I could play games all day, as that would be safer for me. But I realize that safety is not an option to have at all times. Why, just today I was waiting for a bus, and some douchebag started getting high near me. So I panicked and walked home.
Frankly, the walk did me good, as listening to music from artists like Ali Project, FictionJuntion, and Aya Hirano really pepped me up, as did some communication with a "friend" of mine who is always by my side.
I think making this topic was certainly a great idea, as since then, I've cheered up quite a bit. And it's only been a few hours! Thank you all for your kind words and such.
Also, Yanlin, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Quick question though: are there any hobby shops in your area? Occasionally there will be D&D events at such places from my experience, and it's a good way to meet people who play regularly. I went to the last National Games Day in my area and walked away with great memories and a bunch of miniatures.
Also, ABEBooks might have rulebooks for cheap. Try this link : http://www.abebooks.com (http://www.abebooks.com).
And if you are looking for smart people, might I suggest looking at places where smart people might hang out: libraries for example. Maybe even volunteer at a library if it interests you.
Otherwise, I could try adding you to my Meebo and we could chat. I'm fairly intelligent, just slow and out there that's all. Might take a while to add you though; it's been acting up lately.
Finally: Might I add that every time I try posting in this topic, two people post before I get a chance to finish? It's funny, really.
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Like I said. No hobby shops. No NOTHING. I also don't use Meebo.
Libraries... I'm not sure there are any libraries within my vicinity...
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Your mom may still object. Parkour is what idiots call dangerous. It's because of twits like these.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBfV6DouwG8
For the record, ALL of them failed at EVERY POSSIBLE PART. INCLUDING the falling. (Something many incorrectly think is impossible to do incorrectly. Falling is half the landing.)
The third was the best. The fourth one had style. That's how I would land if I did parkour.
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I would personally suggest cooking. There aren't nearly enough good cooks out there, and if you've got a talent for it... Why not?
And besides, even if it *doesn't* turn out to be your ultimate one true calling in life, it still gives you a skill which is very handy, not only in making you happier but also as a social skill.
Do you have any idea how often good cooks get invited to potlucks? Well, neither do I, but probably a lot. Besides, it's highly impressive to invite some friends over to have a homemade meal (one that tastes good, preferably).
There are far more people who enjoy eating than there are people who enjoy Ouija.
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Yes, I would agree with the people enjoying food more than Ouija, Kagus, especially when you live in a very conservative county, and those who are interested in the paranormal are in it for the wrong reasons. And I do love cooking, so yeah, I'll try to puruse that. I already am known as a pretty good cook, with all the volunteering I do cooking lunches on Fridays. I make pretty damn good pancakes, grilled cheese, and even burgers!
And Yanlin, I'm sorry to hear about the lack of hobby shops. Also, Meebo is compatible with all the major chat programs, including MSN, AIM, Yahoo!, GoogleTalk, even ICQ. I use MSN myself, but through Meebo. So if you have a compatible address, I could add you to Meebo, and we could chat if you felt like it. All Meebo is, after all, is a Web-based chat.
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I recognize a lot of what you've told. There is barely anything interesting to do, and most of it is douchebaggery. For some reason, most of my friends have become a little douchebag themselves.
Hmm. I can also use someone to talk to on msn. I should know better then just posting my e-mail on a forum, but hell.
And, if you enjoy cooking, I'd say go for it.
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I recognize a lot of what you've told. There is barely anything interesting to do, and most of it is douchebaggery.
I feel this way too, almost everyone I know I now dislike in some capacity, and all I really have to do is wait to go to college in the fall is sit around and mess with my computer. I can't even go around checking the abandoned buildings anymore... It's too hot!
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I recognize a lot of what you've told. There is barely anything interesting to do, and most of it is douchebaggery.
I feel this way too, almost everyone I know I now dislike in some capacity, and all I really have to do is wait to go to college in the fall is sit around and mess with my computer. I can't even go around checking the abandoned buildings anymore... It's too hot!
Abandoned buildings? That's like the kind of thing I need around here. I'm pretty close to a city, but it's one of those cookie-cutter cities with nothing special. Unless you call a castle which EVERYONE in the entire region has to go to atleast 5 times in their school career special.
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Yeah, this town had once tried to be more city like so we got a lot of old buildings no one has been in for years. Some old warehouses and factory's near the edge of town too. Even an abandoned hospital that I have been trying to find a way into...
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D'aaw, isn't it great when the internet can get some people so close together?
*Hugs all around*
The only advice I can offer is to just scribble away on a little piece of paper, NOT raising you hand ONCE in the process. And darkening certain aspects of said scribble, that appear to make out an image. Try it, it's fun if I remember right... and I probably don't it's called scribble drawing or something like that. It got me into drawing about a year ago and a bunch of other things as well.
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Hey, we could all get together and make something. That would waste dei's time.
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No effort should be spared to combat boredness. I hate it when it strikes.
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Hey, we could all get together and make something. That would waste dei's time.
What sort of thing?
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We could make a video game, if dei has any relevant skills. I sort of want to use that RPGMaker VX thing, since I downloaded a pirated copy to see if I could. I don't really want to install it, though. Hmm.
Quite the conundrum.
Or we could make some sort of forum game.
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We already had a "hey everybody let's mess around to entertain ourselves" thing.
It burned down in an acrid cloud of penguin feathers and softcore porn.
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We already had a "hey everybody let's mess around to entertain ourselves" thing.
It burned down in an acrid cloud of penguin feathers and softcore porn.
I'm pretty sure Dei has other interests. Atleast I know I have.
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It would be better if he gets away from computers all together.
There are many douchebags out there. Honestly there is not much you can do but ignore it and move on.
Why, just today I was waiting for a bus, and some douchebag started getting high near me. So I panicked and walked home.
I'm not a big fan of smokers and like to keep distance myself. Instead of taking a bus can you perhaps ride a bike? It would save you money AND get you in shape. I use my bike to get around if it is within 7 miles or so. Just tommorow I need to get to class early so I am going to ride my bike. You might even meet some people out riding.
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Why, just today I was waiting for a bus, and some douchebag started getting high near me. So I panicked and walked home.
Just an FYI, that's not really a safety problem...well, assuming you mean he was smoking weed. I can't imagine anybody getting high on the chronic and then becoming aggressive. Now, crackheads you might want to give a little extra space to.
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There's also the problem of passive smoking. Which is actually even more harmful than active smoking.
Fact: It's not the activity of smoking that does you damage. It's the smoke itself when it's in your respiratory system.
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I actually can do some decent spriting, if I can find another copy of iDraw. I also have experience with trying to get versions of RPG Maker from 95 to 2003 to work, not to mention experience with Inform, in case anyone wants to make an interactive fiction.
Other than that, I'm afraid my only uses are ideas and beta testing (I was in the La Tale beta).
I have had my ideas about games, ranging from a warped version of Pokémon that mixes in a bit of fantasy and sci-fi and makes it a life sim RPG to a Mabinogi-Dwarf Fortress Hybrid that plays like a Roguelike MMO.
I'd go with any idea however, as long as I could put in some input.
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I know this isn't exactly what you're after, but I must say that you should make an effort to get out more. It's not impossible. I have an acquaintance with mild Aspergers. He surprised everyone by showing up in my social circle one day. He told us he had been more or less trapped in his house, and one morning woke up and said:
FUCK DISABILITIES
and willed himself out there. He was awkward, persistent, and irritating at times, but he asked us for help in overcoming his difficulties, and he's actually much better now.
There's a bit of a catch to a lack of social skills:
1)You are too afraid/embarrassed to go out and endure it
2)You do not go out and endure it, and so you don't get better and sometimes worse.
3)Repeat events 1 and 2.
It's perpetual.
You see, I could tell you to stay a recluse and became a programmer and make some great indies, but you would get bored with that eventually too. Instead, I issue you a challenge that should last you longer than any source of generic amusement. You should probably start with finding someone willing to help. Possibly an employee where you work that you know is more socially adept than you? It can be done. The only thing stopping you is yourself because you believe it too difficult.
Sorry I couldn't give you anything you wanted.
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Although mental illnesses/disabilities are harder to overcome than simply willing oneself to do it (if it were that easy, do you think we'd still have mentally ill people?), Idiom has a point that there's really nothing you can do besides face up to your fears and go do things in spite of them (well, that and get treatment). Not everybody has the same kind of anxiety you do, but everyone has to do things they're scared of, and it ultimately comes down to just ratcheting up your courage, biting the bullet and forcing yourself to do the thing.
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I'm not really sure if I should feel bad or not for saying that to you dei, but it does pretty much boil down to: There's no other way out and it sounds like you want an escape.
Somethings not right here. I think it's that Jude agrees with me. I can fix that:
Find a local church dei and start attending events. They'd be more than willing (and obliged) to help you.
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Problem is currently solved, as such, I'm locking this topic. Thank you all for your help and support.