Bay 12 Games Forum

Finally... => Creative Projects => Topic started by: Mulch Diggums on August 20, 2009, 05:11:27 am

Title: Red Army Soldier
Post by: Mulch Diggums on August 20, 2009, 05:11:27 am
I wrote this short story a little while ago and have decided to take time from my busy schedule of TF2 and Gmod and write some more of it. Tell me what you think.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Red Army Soldier
Post by: JohnieRWilkins on August 20, 2009, 01:14:35 pm
It was a bitter cold Winter night in Stalingrad, 1942.
IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT. Most awful intro ever.

F-

I liked the part about the tall guy built like an ammunition truck. Other than that, stop playing CoD.
Title: Re: Red Army Soldier
Post by: Jackrabbit on August 20, 2009, 04:39:46 pm
Wow man, no need to be an asshole about it.
Title: Re: Red Army Soldier
Post by: Little on August 20, 2009, 11:22:06 pm
Is this a joke or serious?
Title: Re: Red Army Soldier
Post by: Phantom on August 21, 2009, 12:25:06 am
Eh, fine. Nice character description.

Would any of you mind if I post a sort of related story here?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Just research a bit, like the start of the battle, Stalingrad wasn't just a cold bitter war hole.
Title: Re: Red Army Soldier
Post by: Mulch Diggums on August 21, 2009, 04:10:30 am
I spent a bit of time researching, but I haven't found any information on equipment standards of the time, training standards, or general moral. So, what should I change, or what should I try and do better, besides researching the scene? I'd rather rather keep it inaccurate to reality any way.
Title: Re: Red Army Soldier
Post by: Phantom on August 21, 2009, 12:45:52 pm
Well, the soviets lost most of their tanks, so you should use tanks in your story rarely, infantry, they were just mere cannon fodder with Mosin Nagants and PPSHs. The PPSH I think also has a magazine, not a 71 nullet drum. Try to keep equipment standards depending on rank, the higher ranks I believe get SMGs and the other stuff, while the lowly guys (The Conscripts.) get the rifles. Also, you can never go wrong with more Commisars.
Title: Re: Red Army Soldier
Post by: Jackrabbit on August 21, 2009, 07:58:14 pm
And make the house to house fighting ridiculously fucking brutal.

Make them run up to the Nazis and try to over run them, make them fight for a bit of broken roofing.

And include that house that they turned into a fortress and held out in for like a month before reinforcements.

I know you're probably going for that anyway but ramp it up to 2011.
Title: Re: Red Army Soldier
Post by: Phantom on August 21, 2009, 08:01:01 pm
And include that house that they turned into a fortress and held out in for like a month before reinforcements.
I introduce yo the ancestor of all defence games
Title: Re: Red Army Soldier
Post by: JohnieRWilkins on August 22, 2009, 01:28:00 pm
I spent a bit of time researching, but I haven't found any information on equipment standards of the time, training standards, or general moral. So, what should I change, or what should I try and do better, besides researching the scene? I'd rather rather keep it inaccurate to reality any way.
CoD is not a very good source of historically accurate information.
Title: Re: Red Army Soldier
Post by: Mulch Diggums on August 22, 2009, 03:51:58 pm
What the hell are you talking about?
Title: Re: Red Army Soldier
Post by: Jackrabbit on August 22, 2009, 08:06:19 pm
I spent a bit of time researching, but I haven't found any information on equipment standards of the time, training standards, or general moral. So, what should I change, or what should I try and do better, besides researching the scene? I'd rather rather keep it inaccurate to reality any way.
CoD is not a very good source of historically accurate information.
I think you're assuming a bit much here.
Title: Re: Red Army Soldier
Post by: Killas[SiN] on August 22, 2009, 08:18:07 pm
The only thing CoD is good for is taking footage for your homemade documentary that you had a month to do for Social Studies but because you're a lazy bastard you left it till the last 12 hours and so instead of getting pictures you just FRAP'd 20 minutes worth of crappy ingame shots and ripping music off Fallout and other assorted games and when presenting your docco the next day you get full marks because all the other guys couldn't tell a camera from their buttcrack.

Oh, and yeah, and shooting Nazis.
Title: Re: Red Army Soldier
Post by: Jackrabbit on August 22, 2009, 08:23:28 pm
Love shootin' dem Nazis.

Seriously though, I did play the Stalingrad mission. I know it was

a) freezing
b) dark
c) on a boat (like where the story is headed)

but

a) It's frigging Russia, of course it's cold.
b) Most of the river crossings were made at night and even if they weren't, some were.
c) THEY USED BOATS.

So if this story is set on a cold, dark night and has someone crossing the river on a boat to enter Stalingrad and witness insurmountable casualties and only get a few bullets instead of a rifle, that's what actually happened.

Although if he takes several bullets to the body and fixes himself up quickly or shrugs them off, somethings up. And if he has a health bar, something's really up.
Title: Re: Red Army Soldier
Post by: Killas[SiN] on August 22, 2009, 08:26:29 pm

So if this story is set on a cold, dark night and has someone crossing the river on a boat to enter Stalingrad and witness insurmountable casualties and only get a few bullets instead of a rifle, that's what actually happened.

Woah, what the hell were they supposed to do?
Stab 'em with a bullet?
Title: Re: Red Army Soldier
Post by: Jackrabbit on August 22, 2009, 08:32:18 pm
Actually, that's not far from the truth. If you see a rifle, grab it. If you meet up with a German before that, kill him by any means necessary. Cowards running away from entrenched Germans because the Germans have weapons and they don't will be shot.
Title: Re: Red Army Soldier
Post by: twwolfe on August 22, 2009, 11:25:05 pm
 Unless they were part of one of the Guards Divisions, most Russian soldiers had little, if anything, in the way of weapons. Basicly, give two guys out of ten rifles, and just give the rest ammo. they were simply told to wait till the rifle-carriers died, then pick up the guns and start shooting. one group of soldiers in stalingrad commandeered a bottle factory to make Molotov cocktails, thats how bad it was.

and brutal doesn't even come close to describing house to house combat. there were no tactics, you were either feet or inches from your enemies, and the winners were the ones who threw thier grenades first. one battle basically ended up with russians and germans swapping floors in a two story house. and all this while being bomed and pounded by planes and occaisionally close range artillery.

this does not mean the average soldiery in the red army was bad. far from it. they were tenacious, brave soldiers who fought for love of Mother Russia, and when well lead, were excellent soldiers. they had excellent tanks in the T-32, and the Artillery was strong and well trained.

the problem is they were rarely well led. the purges of 1935 had decimated the leadership of the army, and what was left had little, if any initiative. the addition of political commisars simply made it even worse. 80% of those in charge had gottewn there by political favors, and had little knowledge of tactics.



Title: Re: Red Army Soldier
Post by: Jackrabbit on August 23, 2009, 01:50:23 am
Stalin going disappearing for 3 days didn't help, especially since the purge had made everyone else to afraid to command, leaving troops in Stalingrad utterly leaderless for three whole days. Stalin wasn't a good leader really, killing almost as much of his men as the Germans, on a scale comparable to the holocaust, unfortunately glossed over by the fact the Soviets were on the winning side. Not that they didn't deserve to win, Russia certainly both took and caused the most casualties during the war (and without whom as an ally we would have lost) but Stalin sure as hell deserved nothing less than to be hung, drawn and quartered. Slowly.
Title: Re: Red Army Soldier
Post by: twwolfe on August 23, 2009, 02:16:59 pm
stalingrad wasn't leaderless. stalin vanished right as Barbarossa started, then he gave a Kickass inspirational speech. By stalingrad, he was back and leading rather well.




And include that house that they turned into a fortress and held out in for like a month before reinforcements.


that would be Pavlovs House. Pavlov and around 17 other men held off several hundred German troops, tanks, and guns, and endured point blank artillery fire.

and don't for get the soldier who was reported dead by his subordinates, they being to chicken to go find him. far from dead, he proceeded to sneak through the german army, swim to an island in the middle of the volga, make a raft, row it the rest of the way across, and walk the rest of the way to HQ.

heck, stalingrad was pretty much a CMoA for the entire red army

 if you want to read more about Stalingrad, the Time-Life book "Red Army Resurgent" is a good one. for personal experiences, read "Enemy at the Gates; the battle for Stalingrad"
Title: Re: Red Army Soldier
Post by: Squeegy on September 12, 2009, 12:19:28 am
OH HEY

(http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f357/swallis21/sovietfull.png)

“Death solves all problems – no man, no problem.” –Joseph Stalin

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Red Army Soldier
Post by: Aqizzar on September 12, 2009, 12:35:46 am
Furry World War II huh?  Kay.

Some of the sentences and passages are a little wonky, like turns of phrase repeated too often or clauses that don't quite fit together, where it sounds like a sentence wanted to say one thing and ended up somewhere else.  Altogether it's on the right track, it just needs some read through and revision for it's sound.

I've always had mixed feelings about phonetic spelling and accents.  On the one hand, it adds some extra character that just describing the accent doesn't provide.  But I think it's unnecessary when everyone in the story is speaking the same way.  I say it should be used to demonstrate confusing differences in the way people are talking - when everyone's using the same phonetic accent it's just that much harder to read what's really the same story.
Title: Re: Red Army Soldier
Post by: Squeegy on September 12, 2009, 12:41:18 am
I've always had mixed feelings about phonetic spelling and accents.  On the one hand, it adds some extra character that just describing the accent doesn't provide.  But I think it's unnecessary when everyone in the story is speaking the same way.  I say it should be used to demonstrate confusing differences in the way people are talking - when everyone's using the same phonetic accent it's just that much harder to read what's really the same story.
Well, if you read it a few times you'll notice that they don't actually have all the same accents-- Alik's accent is lighter than the rest, and one of them has quite a thick accent.

Furry World War II huh?
(http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f357/swallis21/colonthree.png)