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Finally... => Creative Projects => Topic started by: Os Q on January 18, 2010, 01:28:01 pm

Title: Purposely bad writing (try it!)
Post by: Os Q on January 18, 2010, 01:28:01 pm

I'm struggling to write out a serious story, but I could never really get it going into a coherent plot-line. I've got all lot of ideas but I seem to hold myself back. So, for the hell of it, I wrote this half-life FULL LIFE CONSEQUENCES prequel. It takes place during the first Half-Life Games.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ive ben insiped by squirrelking's stories to write sum ov my own:

   Half-Life 1, Human Rebelion and Alien Vengence part one

   Fred Freeman was Gordon Freemans Uncle and owned farm and had family and short temper and beard. Fred Freeman was busy plowing his gardin with a ho when his cellphone rang "What?" he turned on phone and answerded but only heard screaming on the line “Ohno either I got pranked or something happened! NOW MAD! " he said madly and shook his fist. He listened thought he heard something near chicken coop.

   Eh opened coop door and headcrab flew out but he punched it in the air. "Huh ugly dog!" he said and mashed it yellow guts blowing up everywhere. “Ew gross” he said then heard weird language like Japanesese and saw green lighting and space monster charjed at Fred Freeman! Fred Freeman threw a chicken at it and the chicken pecked out space monster's face and eye alien screamed and clutched at its eye and strangled the chicken "QUIT CHOKING MY CHICKEN" Yelled Fred Freeman as he punched the alien in the stomach repartedly. Then another same kind of space monster shot green lighting at him!
   
   Fred Freeman dodged behind lighting rod and lightning rod absorbed charges. "Haha TRY AGAIN ugly jerk!” taunted Fred Freeman. Then the monster tried again and Fred Freeman jumped over the lighting and killed monster with his hoe splitting its brane open. The other human sized monsters ran away but another really really big one with metal plating and arm that raored and shot bees at Fred Freeman!

   "ROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!" it said as it shot bees at Fred Freeman. OW said Fred Freeman as he tried to get his tool out of the dead alien's head. “Bwahaha” big alien laughed, "Surrender or die! “I surrender” said Fred Freeman but then the big alien's head exploded up in a bang

"Keep away from mah husband!" yelled Wilma Freeman holding a shotgun with too barrels and mad
   
   "Wilma Freeman!" said Fred Freeman "Lets get our son George Freeman and get out of here that research facility out of town, the one that Gordon works at, must be blowing up again!" "We can take the truck." said George Freeman. "OK I call shotgun!" said Wilma Freeman George Freeman groaned because joke was stupid and rolled his eye because he had an eye-patch over his other eye which was blind The family rushed to the pickup truck but stopped when they heard a weird noise

   "OOOOOM! ME EAT YOU" said a big big cow infested with headcrabs as it burst through the fence wich expladed with fireballs. "RUN" yelled Fred Freeman.

   they made pickup truck roared to life but BIG angry BIG cow monster raored too! The Freemans jumped fast and try to drived off. "Faster Dad! It gaining on us!" said George Freeman in back while shotting at cow with revolver. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!" screamed zombie cow between pants cow kept chasing them through dessert and into town.
   
   "Son, have idea! Concentrate your firepower on headcrab-zomby central nervous system!" Fred Freeman back to George Freeman "Good Idea Dad! THANKS!" replied George Freeman then he aimed his gun and snarled...

"Here's a bullet for breakfast!"

and shotted gun and bullet went in headcrab on head  and also threw cowbrain. Cow zombie goast kept running for a few feet then fell forward ded. "HORAY We have soup for weeks!" cheered everybody in town because evil army guys and aliens had taken all the food from townpeeple.

   Meanwhile, a guy in a suit watched this with binoculars "Excellent," he hissed “its all fitting into place...

   Through other dimensions and sky went the weird guy in the suit until he reached a platform floating over space. He walk though rows of alien guards until he reached a projector projecting the shadow of teh SECRET BOSS

“Why you disturb me?” Secret Boss growled in weird language (kind of like backwards german with bubbles in space but not human)

"The Nihilaunt has dead" hissed Suit Guy. "And Gordon Freeman?" asked Secret Boss.
 "Mr. Freeman is out of the way, Shepard will eliminated soon too." Suit Guy smirked and moved his eyes back and forth and straightened his tie. Secret boss stared at Suit Guy with septisism.

The Suit Guy got nervus but continyeud "The Nihilaunt hasss a brother, he approachesss earth in sssearch of revennnnge and WILL find it. The brother... thiss... Freudilaunt would destroy everything we have worked for! but I have put bait in trap. "What?!" snarled Secret Boss

             "You told me nothing of this! This could wreck plans! What could trick this thing with?! it snareled again

   "The Freemansss... the scent is their DNA... Gordon is gone.. but there are othersss" hissed Suit Guy "sssoon we'll have them where we WANT them..."

   The zombie cow was dead but everyone in town was fraid. "Mr. Freeman was was that thing?" police guy said. "police guy that was one of my cows infected with headcrabs! look out for headcrabs they jump on your head and make you dead and zombie   Army guys are running away we haff to defend the town” Fred Freeman said. “Yeah right! I don't believe you” said Police jerk “i'm going back to work, these tickets won't write themselves” George Freeman flipped police officer off as the cop walked away never to be seen again.

   Rest of peeple trusted Freemans and listened to Fred when he said “army can't do anything for us!” and got out guns and sticks and petrol bombs and organized in street. “What the hell you doing?!” yelled angry general who was supposed to keep the townspeople from fighting or seeing aliens.
   
   "We're going to blow aliens up and shoot monsters in teh brains!"  yelled George Freeman “and you and army guys can't stop us this time...

   “I won't allow this,” General said “Dispurse or prepair to be fired up on!” "We not back down!” Wilma Freeman said behind wall “You heard, lewtenant, prepair to fire!” General said. “What? I not do this!” Lt. Roxy Poppernack said back to general. “Me neither!” some other guys who usually didn't matter said. “We fight teh aliens! Not normil human people! Coverups are not in my job description!” army guys said.  FALLOW MY ORDER! Or I will hold you all in contempt!” yelled General “Go ahead and try! No one hear will arrest me!” the lewtenant yelled, her thingies? heaving The army people beat up general and made him sad and blindfolded but locked him in room where he was safe

   "Horay we not die from macheen guns OR goasts!" cheered townpeeple. Who should be leader? wondered town???

            "ME! Ime strong and big, and can fight aliens all on my own! said Fred Freeman
            "YEAH RIGHT said peeple Here they come, let's see how you fight!" they said again

   They saw raid of geen human sized aliens who were saying “Death to humens!” and peeple laughed at them when Fred Freeman's petrol bombs hit them and they ran around in circles trying to put out flames Haha, fire cool! said George Freeman
   Fred Freeman ripped the bee-gun arm off big bee-gun alien and beeed it to death WITH ITS OWN bees from arm. He grabbed a bullsquid and squeezed it, yelling “Say my name! Say FRED FREEMAN!” and squidbull said something that wasn't quite “Fred Freeman” but pretty close Fred Freeman shot squidbull vomit at other aliens and killed most of them. He stuffed headcrabs in its mouth and swang the alien by teh tail really really really fast and hit boulder with it making it explode. Other aliens got scared and ran real fast away. “THERE IS NO EXCAPE HA HA HA!” Fred Freeman said and shot bees at them.

   "Noooo! said George "let them go!" but bees had already been shot and aliens were made dead.
HORAY said town and they made Fred Freeman leader because he was strong and big and no one wanted to argue with him Aliens have raided for last time! We fight! but just as they were saying this a BIG BIG BIG blue thing that was almost a boss appeared on teh horizon. OH NO NO NO! said townpeepel...
   
To be continued??

Comments? Maybe I tried to much? Maybe I should get rid of the chicken line?

Anyway, writing purposely bad stories is great fun. I would recommend it to the very self conscious type of writers.

[Edit: Fixded most apostatphes and removed some periods and most comas Thanks eerr!]
[Edit: Added dramatic use of CAPS, ideadeded from Dasleah's awesome story]

Title: Re: Purposely bad writing (try it!)
Post by: eerr on January 18, 2010, 06:43:18 pm

The spelling errors combined with frequent proper use of apostraphies kinda disrupted it.

You should either fix the spelling errors or write out the commas and apostraphies.


Make wrong bad write? Am think you have much great goodness. use and desist much action of not. There is purpose of which many freeman is lack which I do not have.

   There was big zombie and I do not think many zombie are great but is ok with stuff happen to bad stop things. gordon freemon is giraffe who knows zombies that may have much walk around while freeman is bashing. Make zombie gone, shouted a jumpsuit man who am far away and escaping from zombies that freeman will bash.

Here There are zombies and bashing Ready Am I to fix many problem of zombie Said freeman of gordon. There was a crowbar and it is wham upon The zombie who are of great size and no brain while freeman is say stuff.
Around him was things that are good now for bashing  as zombies are bad.

Oh no! Truck has zombie which there are many in! May freenman make explosives not explode that are in truck?

Listen greatly when tommorrow many zombie die and are somehow inside.
Learn how zombie and gordon who bashes are crawl but not!

//I think I forgot to write an introduction.

Title: Re: Purposely bad writing (try it!)
Post by: Outcast Orange on January 18, 2010, 08:35:55 pm

I swear to Orange that I talk just like that occasionally.
It's sort of spooky.

Seconded by various witnesses.

Title: Re: Purposely bad writing (try it!)
Post by: Dasleah on January 18, 2010, 08:42:31 pm

Amateurs.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

it was a rindy and cold day outside. HARRY POTTER looked out the window of his classroom and sighed. he was veyr sad becaue the calss was boring and all he wanted to do is go outside and play quiddith, his favourite sport evern in the whole world. but no, he was stuck inside here, learning about books and magic and things. he liked quickitch beause it was the only time where peopla just get away from them all, fly up high and far and fast and just be laone with his thoughts. Harry was a SEEKER and tha t meants he had the important ob of seeking out the GOLDEN SNITCH which means 100 points and win the game!

he had layed the quickitch so much that somtines he saw the snitch in his dreams. it was just him and the snitch, up in the clouds, far away from everyone. everyone was so far below, they don't see him. the snitch was there, darting, weaving, dancing. he reached out for it but it danubed away, slowly, gently. it teased him just out of grasp. everytime he would reach out, his fngers would brush against the snitch - golden skin, felt like sunshine he thought - and he would feel how smotth it was, the warmth and lightness of it. the flutter of wings like small eyelashes, sending twitters up his hand. in that short instant of contact, it was just him and the snitch. nothing else. no-one else. alone in the clouds with nothing but his hear's desire. and, just like that, the snitch was gone, teasing and promising everything but giving nothing. next time, harry thought, next time i will get you and you will be mine--

HARRY POTTER yelled the teacher ARE YOU LISTEN harry was snaped out his dream by his loud teacher IF YOU KEEP THIS UP YOU ARE GROUND FROM BROOMS so harry mumbled a sorry and returned to his studies. without his broom he couldn't play quidditch and he couldn't chase and tease and hold that snitch...

class was over quick and the bell rang at the end. harry picked up his books and ran fast to change because it was QUICKITCH time now! he changed into his unifrom and looked out the window. it was still raining but he looked up and see that the rain came from clouds! he thought that the snitch would likely be up there during game, because the snitch doesn't like to get wet much. harry smiled - he knew the heart of this snitch better than anyone else, he thought. soon, soon he will have his arms around you... HARRY HURRY UP said ginny!

BRRR BR BRRRR BRRRRR!!! the trumpets went has it was time to play! the teams line up on the field and the crowd were yelling loudly. harry could hear most of them saying "HARRY HARRY HARRY HARRY" because he was so famours. he ignored them as always because the reaons he played this game wsa to get away from all of it! but no matter what he did harry was very good at it so now he was famours for quidditch as much as benig himself! the two tems lined up and watched for the referrees to start the game. they bouhght out the box with the GOLDEN SNITCH harry looked at it

he could see the box jerking, jumping. the snicth was eager to get out today. the box heaved and bounced as the referees put it down in the middle. the professor said "okay time to sing the song!" and the two teams groaned and the audience stood up and they all begun to sing loud.

(a/n i thought a song would be a good idea because we always sings national anthems and things at the start of sports and quiddicth is a sport so i think it would make sense. also it help get harrymood across)

./' ./' ./' ./' ./' ./' ./' ./' ./'

weee'll play long and hard
we'll give our best and never go too far

our broooooms
will fly so high
we'll zip and zoom and dart around the sky

we'll try ooooour best
and catch that snitch
we'll put ourselves to the test
and fight to the finish

(harry stood foward it was his part to sing)
i'll catch that golden snitch
and i'll never flinch
i'll give it my all
and never fall
until that snitch is miiiiine

our broooooms
will fly so high
we'll zip and zoom and dart around the sky

we'll chase!
and block!
and bludge!
we'll rock!

weee'll play long and hard
we'll give our best and never go too far
neeeever goooooo
toooooooooo
faaaaaaaaaaaaaaar

./' ./' ./' ./' ./' ./' ./' ./' ./'

the crowd went wild and clapped

Yeah, that's right. Harry Potter / Golden Snitch. Leading into mPreg. With a song.

You guys are smalltime.

Title: Re: Purposely bad writing (try it!)
Post by: Zai on January 18, 2010, 09:23:34 pm

Quote from: Dasleah on January 18, 2010, 08:42:31 pm

harry was snaped out his dream by his loud teacher

Multiple meanings, ahoy!

Title: Re: Purposely bad writing (try it!)
Post by: Hippoman on January 18, 2010, 09:25:32 pm

Fucking awesome.

Title: Re: Purposely bad writing (try it!)
Post by: Bricks on January 19, 2010, 12:41:23 pm

A parody of fanfiction?  That is so meta, it's para.

Quote

it was still raining but he looked up and see that the rain came from clouds!

Harry's powers of deductive reasoning are unfathomable.

Title: Re: Purposely bad writing (try it!)
Post by: Cthulhu on January 19, 2010, 02:13:31 pm

Quote from: Dasleah on January 18, 2010, 08:42:31 pm

Amateurs.

lotsofwords.jpg

Yeah, that's right. Harry Potter / Golden Snitch. Leading into mPreg. With a song.

You guys are smalltime.

Saddler, you're smalltime.


Anyway, this seems like as good a time as ever to bring out the digitally remastered Dash Gunmetal.  It's purposely bad in a different way.

Echoes of War
By Cthulhu

Spoiler: Chapter 1: A New Threat (click to show/hide)

The year is 1969. In Vietnam there is a military base in the jungles of Vietnam. Sitting in the bar in that base, drinking Tequila with no sugar, is a man. That man is Dash Gunmetal. That's Staff Sergeant Dash Gunmetal to you. Dash wears a black trenchcoat, a black cowboy hat, and a pair of dark sunglasses. His boots are made of snakeskin and have spikes made of alligator teeth. A huge revolver like in Hellboy revolver sits in a holster at his side. He has knives.
Suddenly, Commander Wolf Grayskull enters the bar. "Gunmetal!" he says, "We need you to assassinate the Vietcong leader, General Snakeeyes!"
Dash removes his sunglasses. "I already know that." He says, and takes off his sunglasses.
"Of course, Gunmetal. I forgot you have the gift of foresight." Commander Grayskull says apologetically. Dash pushes up his sunglasses out of his eyes and peers at Grayskull with eyes that had no pupils. For Dash is a vampire.
Dash finishes off his bottle of vodka and walks out. He loads his revolver and jumps into the air. His vampire powers allow him to jump all the way out of the base and into the jungle. But it's not a jungle. The Vietcong have used nanobots to turn Vietnam into a futuristic city. Dash takes off his sunglasses, since it's nighttime now, and walks into a seedy bar.
"Where is General Snakeeyes?" He asks viciously. The bartender pulls out a gun! Quick as lightning, quick as a cobra, quick as a barracuda, quick as a moray eel, quick as a sea anemone, quick as a fast, Dash pulls out his knives and cuts the bartender's throat. Everyone pulls out katanas. Dash knows he'll need to see well, so he takes off his sunglasses. It is time to kill.

Spoiler: Chapter 2: Visions of the Past (click to show/hide)

Dash Gunskull draws his revolver and shoots the first guy. He is blown in half. Another guy jumps from a balcony with a katana and dash parries and knocks the katana out of his hand and slashes him in the chest and then cuts his arms off and then cuts off his head. He shoots another guy behind him, and it goes in slow motion. Three guys shoot at him with machineguns and he bends down to dodge the bullets like in the Matrix. One of the bullets hits his sunglasses and they break.
"Now I'm angry" he says and jumps on the guy and drinks his blood. The blood gives him superspeed and he kills another guy with his claws. He kills more people with his claws, until only one guy is left. Dash picks him up and slams him against the wall. "Where is General Snakeeyes?!"
"I don't speak English" he responded. Gunmetal, disappointed, blows him up with his mind powers because he has mind powers. He walks outside and sees a tower in the distance. It says in neon letters THE HOME OF GENERAL SNAKEEYES.

Spoiler: Chapter 3: A Dark Revelation (click to show/hide)

Dash jumped to the top of the tower and subdued the guards. Then he killed them. He walked down the stairs into General Snakeeyes Throne Room. But General Snakeeyes wasn't no longer General of the Vietcong. He was now king of Vietnam.
"I am no longer General of the Vietcong, I am now King of Vietnam!" he said from atop his pet dragon. Using his super-vision, Dash saw that Snakeeyes wasn't a human. He was a terminator and also a vampire. Snakeeyes' dragon breathed fire at Dash, and Dash jumped out of the way. The dragon turned into a werewolf and charged at him. Dash fought hard and tried to avoid being bitten because werewolf poison is poisonous. He slashed it in the paw and it howled. It slashed him in the hand he howled. Its poison was now in his veins. He shot it in the head and it exploded, sending shrapnel everywhere. Dash was wounded. General Snakeeyes would have to wait for another day. Dash jumped out the window, but landed on the ground safely, for he was a vampire. He pushed a button in his pocket that called his car to him. It drove up and he got in. He drove 100 miles an hour away, but there were cars chasing him. He leaned out and shot a car. It exploded. The other cars started shooting at him and he dodged through a fruit stand. He knew he had to go faster to get away, so he pushed a button on the car's dashboard. It turned into a motorcycle. He went 200 miles an hour now. The cars did the same, and now he was in a motorcycle chase. He turned at an exit ramp and ended up on a giant deathrace track where the track was a hundred feet off the ground and looped and stuff. It was time to kill.

Spoiler: Chapter 4: Dangerous Knowledge (click to show/hide)

Dash drove down the racetrack with the motorcycles behind him. He used an oil slick and one of the motorcycles fell into a pit full of robot sharks. He died. Dash ramped off of a ramp and did a 180. He opened the roof of his motorcycle, because it was one of those enclosed motorcycles like in Spyhunter. He pulled out his revolver and shot two of the motorcycles before turning around and landed on the ground. There was only one motorcycle left and it could fly. Dash tried to get away but it shot missiles at him. He dodged them and they hit a school bus.
"No!" Dash shouted, and remembered his secret weapon. He jumped out of the motorcycle and pulled off his sunglasses. He pushed a button and they started beeping. He threw them like a boomerang and they hit the flying motorcycle. They stuck to it and it used an EMP to shut it down. He ran away for in thirty seconds they would explode and they were a nuclear bomb. At 29 seconds he jumped forward and dove to the ground as they exploded, blowing up General Snakeeyes city of evil.

Spoiler: Chapter 5: Shadows of the Future (click to show/hide)

Dash returned to the base, but it was destroyed and on fire. He ran to Commander Grayskull, but he was dead.
"Ha ha ha, I have the Dragonball Z!" King Snakeyes cackled. Dash turned around and saw him holding a magical star. "You fool! The Dragonball Z from Dragonball Z was here is in your base and I have it to make a wish!" He said. He flew away.
"I swear, King Snakeeyes, I'll revenge you for what you've done" Dash said, and threw his sunglasses to the ground in anger.

To be continued?

Title: Re: Purposely bad writing (try it!)
Post by: Dasleah on January 19, 2010, 05:32:40 pm

Quote from: Cthulhu on January 19, 2010, 02:13:31 pm

Quote from: Dasleah on January 18, 2010, 08:42:31 pm

Amateurs.

lotsofwords.jpg

Yeah, that's right. Harry Potter / Golden Snitch. Leading into mPreg. With a song.

You guys are smalltime.

Saddler, you're smalltime.

OH IT'S ON

HUUUUUUUUNGRH

DRAGONBALL Z / HOUSE / STREET FIGHTER + OC ROMANCE

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

it was a cold and very wet raining day in new hampshire and the hosipital was close to clsoing time. DR GREGORY HOUSE (a/n squeeee! =^_^= ) was getting ready to head home because it had been a long hard days in medicnces and he was very tired. this made him more cranky than normal but no-one else coudl tell because he was laways cranky. this just made him cranker! deep down inside him he wanted someone to understand him byt no-one could

he was almost out the door and his leg was hurting so he bented down to rub it (sometimes that helped) when he was down theyre he saw a shaodw fall over him. it was a big shaodw and he was going to look up and make nasty voices about it! (remember he was cranky!) but then he looked up and he say the most largest legs he had ever seen!

the woman who was owning the legs lloked down on him. she hard really large muscly leags but she also had muscles everywhere, just not as much. she was wearing a kinda blue chinese thing with her hair done up in buns and also ponytails that were looped around into the buns. she looked down at House and she said

"are you the farmous DR GREGORY HOUSE?"

"are you the famous person who will get out of my way D:< " said house

"my name is CHUN-LI!! and i need you r help medically"

House thought about this for some time. this lady sounded really mean and he could tell she would beat him up very badly if they were to fight. but house loked how she looked and he could almost sense an inner strength in her that he had never felt before so he said "Yes" and he took her to an emergency room

so what is the problem

"it is my legs" said chun-li. "I AM worried that even though i am very strong I am not strong enought. i use a lot of kicks in my fights and so i need them to be strong!" to show she was strong she kicked th eneatest garbage can and it was kicked in two! house was very impressed and siad "okay i will help you please give me your legs"

house was feeling for medical on her legs and he was secretly jealous. he had only one good leg because the mucles in one was bad. he wished he had legs as strong as her! but then he gasped because he had felt something that was not right! he looked up at her and says

"i have found

.... a tumour!"

MEANWHILE

he watched her go into the hospital and he was angry. he had told her not to worry about it and that this house person was no good for anyone and she should just trust him! she was a warrior like her and did not need to do anyting but train! he had followed her here and he was hoping that she would turn away but she didn! he had planned for this though and he turned to his partner

"chun-li is a strong warrior but she does not believe in herslef! we will have to take this hospital by force and she will fight and she will see that she is a true warrior that does not need the earth medicinces! you will help me in this, CUDDY?!"

cuddy smiled and flexed her muchles.

"that is right, my friend! together we will force them both to fight - house will admit his true feelings for me, CUDDY, and chun-li will love you...

VEGETA!"

MEANWHILE...

house looked very worred. he had tought chun-li's legs were big and powerful and strong and beutiful, but now that he had found a tumour, he was sad and also grumpy. he did not want chun-lie to die but he did not want to admit it because he was house and he didnt want anyone to know hes feeling so he doesnt get hurt. he called his team and in came foreman, the black guy, chase, the austrian, and the new intern called Harmony Discord Violent Dreams she was new but they all respected her even though she was distant and cold because of her big knowledge

Harmony Discord Violent Dreams was wearing a black labcoat with pink lace and red stripes and knee high black boots and her hair was black with green stripes throught it (a/n but she was a goth so it was a v. depressing shade of green) and she had little sad bear clips holding her hair in place. when she first arrived they said "no you cannot work in that you must wear something else" but house was so impressed with her he said "no i need her on my time either she stays or I will go" and they backed down.

house said to the team "we have a paitent with big huge leg tumours what could be wrong with her" and chase said "i guess the leg tumours" and he laughed. harmony said "chase that is not funny she is could be dying and we cannot make jokes about that." chase stopped laughing and he knew she was right and he felt bad and mumbled i am sorry

foreman said "perhaps it is lupus" (a/n LOL u knew it was coming) but the argured and said it wasn't. cameron said "does she have any other sypmtoms" "no but she is a figher maybe that has something to do with it" house wrote it up on the whiteboard. harmony was thinking very hard and she turned up her iPod and listening to her favourite song by Delicous Pain Of The Detox Guild - Hate Comfort - 3:26 - because it helped her think. she was staring outside in the rain because also being sad helped her think and she thought she saw for a second a flash of yellow pointy hair from the bushes! then she had a moment! she turned and said

"in her file she admitted to being a STREET FIGHTER! these fights are very rough and i know because my parents were killed by a out of control fighter when i was very young. now sometimes these fighters do something ILLEGAL to make themselves stronger."

house said "no i trust her i don't think she is that kind of fighter" but then Harmony said "i know, but maybe she is being helped without her knowing? these symptoms all point to something that is only very new and is not normal at all. i think she is being fed... SAIYAN GROWTH HORMONE!" the team gasped and then started to nod. it all made sense and they all knew that they wouldn't have figurerd it out if Harmony was not the smartest one there, even house agreed that she was.

HOUSE then went to see chun-li and tell her of what Harmony had said. when she was listening she looke dout the window into the rain. house had fnished and she said "i guess that explains it then" and looked sad. she said "i have been training with a partner for very long now and he wants me to be the strongest. i think he loves me but i am not in love of him. all he thinks about is fighting and being strong. i want to have strong of body, but...." she looked at house, with tears and love in her eyes and said"

...but i also want to be STRONG of HEART!"

house was very taken aback. their eyes meet and he felt sad. but not the normal grumpy sad that he normally feels but a happy sort of in love sad. their lips moved closer and closer and they were about to kiss!

BUT THEN

CRAAASHSHSHSHSHSHSS!!!!!

house heard an really big crash and there was smoke everywheres! the lights flickered on and off and he siad "this hospital is falling apart" he looked and chun-li. the tears were not in her eyes anymore and she loooked very serious. "i know this is no accident! remember that training partner i was telling you about i fear this is him. he is scared that me asking for your medicine help is a show of weakness i knew he would come after me!" house looked deep into chun-lis eyes and he knew what he had to do. he said "i will protext you chun li. i may not look like much but i can swing a mean cane" (a/n lol) and he showed her by swinging his powerful cane around

then suddenly he heard a crash behind him and the wall fall in! he stood in front of chun-li and watched into the smoke and he saw a figure there. he siad "i don't know who you are but I will fight at you!" but then he gasped when he saw it was cuddy! (a/n remember she is working with vegeta oh noe) house rushed forward because even though he liked chun-li he also liked cuddy so he wanted to help her. he said "i am a doctor let me see if you are alright" but as he got close cuddy yelled "spirit final word blast attack of the beam heart...

...yeee-aaaaaaaaah!" and she hit house!

house went flying and he hit the wall and it hurt him a bit. he looked shocked and said "cuddy why did you do that i know that i am cranky sometimes but i have never done anything to hurt you" and she looked angry! she grrrrrred at him and said "house for too long have i let you walk all over me because we were both tooo afraid to tell each other how we feel!" and she flewed over to house and pinned him against the wall! she knocked his cane away that he was trying to reach so he could defent chun-li (she was still in bed) "yo uwill listen to what i have to say! and she began to sing to house

Title: Re: Purposely bad writing (try it!)
Post by: Hippoman on January 19, 2010, 06:00:42 pm

Dasleah I just can't read your stuff.
It's not that interesting :C.

Title: Re: Purposely bad writing (try it!)
Post by: Dasleah on January 19, 2010, 08:23:48 pm

Quote from: Hippoman on January 19, 2010, 06:00:42 pm

Dasleah I just can't read your stuff.
It's not that interesting :C.

I think I'll find a way to survive.

Title: Re: Purposely bad writing (try it!)
Post by: Hippoman on January 19, 2010, 08:48:58 pm

Quote from: Dasleah on January 19, 2010, 08:23:48 pm

Quote from: Hippoman on January 19, 2010, 06:00:42 pm

Dasleah I just can't read your stuff.
It's not that interesting :C.

I think I'll find a way to survive.

I know that sounded mean but I really didn't mean it that way :C

Title: Re: Purposely bad writing (try it!)
Post by: azazel on January 19, 2010, 08:51:12 pm

http://www.fanfiction.net/

Bow to the masters. Of course, theirs is unintended, but still.

Title: Re: Purposely bad writing (try it!)
Post by: Willfor on January 19, 2010, 09:00:44 pm

Well, if we're linking FF.net, I know someone who wrote purposely bad fanfiction there in the Fire Emblem portion.

Some of you might like it since I know there's a couple of fans on the forums. (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2207609/1/The_Diary_of_Kelly_the_Tactician)

Title: Re: Purposely bad writing (try it!)
Post by: Cthulhu on January 19, 2010, 10:22:39 pm

Quote from: Dasleah on January 19, 2010, 08:23:48 pm

Quote from: Hippoman on January 19, 2010, 06:00:42 pm

Dasleah I just can't read your stuff.
It's not that interesting :C.

I think I'll find a way to survive.

It's alright, Dasleah, if you need a shoulder to cry on I'm here for you.

You might want to put on some weight in the headular area though, because I have really bony shoulders and you'll need a protective layer of fat.

Title: Re: Purposely bad writing (try it!)
Post by: Helmaroc on January 20, 2010, 09:23:22 pm

Quote from: Dasleah on January 19, 2010, 08:23:48 pm

Quote from: Hippoman on January 19, 2010, 06:00:42 pm

Dasleah I just can't read your stuff.
It's not that interesting :C.

I think I'll find a way to survive.

I thought it was pretty good.
Though I think it's better narrated...just hearing someone trying to pronounce everything is what I find funny.

Title: Re: Purposely bad writing (try it!)
Post by: inteuniso on January 21, 2010, 04:59:34 pm

I have a question:
(http://weblogs.sun-sentinel.com/features/health/theskinny/blog/griffinpeter.jpg)
Did you read all of these in my voice?

Title: Re: Purposely bad writing (try it!)
Post by: Hippoman on January 21, 2010, 07:28:31 pm

Quote from: inteuniso on January 21, 2010, 04:59:34 pm

I have a question:
(http://weblogs.sun-sentinel.com/features/health/theskinny/blog/griffinpeter.jpg)
Did you read all of these in my voice?

No, because I've never ever found him funny.

Title: Re: Purposely bad writing (try it!)
Post by: eerr on January 22, 2010, 11:16:18 am

Peter doesn't make comedy,
comedy ride peter like donkey.

BTW, This means in-russia puns have trouble mocking him.

Title: Re: Purposely bad writing (try it!)
Post by: Karnewarrior on January 24, 2010, 02:48:42 pm

Quote from: azazel on January 19, 2010, 08:51:12 pm

http://www.fanfiction.net/

Bow to the masters. Of course, theirs is unintended, but still.

OI!
I write crap there!

Not the romancey [CENSORED] though. That sucks. Look for Urist McAuthor.