Turgid has an Elephant in G19, and demon in the magma vent.
I have carps in the river.
Lawrence has Engineers 1 and 3 deploying a catapult at IV 8. One of them is in a Fell Mood.
It seems to be Capntastic's turn.
Well, your opening move lacks subtlety.
I move my kobolds around the well, and position my iron man in the middle of the still.
So does mine; but it's got style nonetheless.
quote:
Originally posted by BDR:
<STRONG>Pantsheim rules, eh? Sounds a lot like Calvinball, only without a ball. :D</STRONG>
Yeah maybe you should go read up on Tacticus before you make absurd comments.
For reference the game started here.
[ November 09, 2007: Message edited by: PTTG?? ]
I must say, however, I'm curious what kind of booze Capn's planning to make from an Iron Man. I won't argue, though.
I will, however, apply "Sudden Breeding" to multiply the number of carp in the river by sixteen.
My melancholy bone crafter jumps into the magma.
But I wish to invoke the double blind rule, which makes suicides invoke two bad thoughts. This causes my sheriff, who was his lover, to go berserk near the catapults.
Unfortunately, this means I also miss the next couple turns, while I wait to get a couple more pieces in play.
Mines, Farms, Stills, Dormitory, Workshops, Great Hall, Fortifications, Gate, River, Forest, Treasury, Metalworks
quote:
Originally posted by Capntastic:
<STRONG>Yeah maybe you should go read up on Tacticus before you make absurd comments.</STRONG>
*grumbles about the damn kids who don't know what Calvinball is, or why his comment might have been relevant even without knowledge of Tacticus*
[ November 09, 2007: Message edited by: BDR ]
I give up. Is this really just like Calvinball, but without the ball? I don't wanna be out of the loop anymore!
On second pass, I see that site seems to not have anything on it... Most peculiar.
[ November 09, 2007: Message edited by: BDR ]
I can see how it is played from observing, of course, but I was just curious as to whether you guys invented it or if it was taken from somewhere else.
Six players appears to be enough for now, but perhaps I can join in the next game?
quote:
Originally posted by Capntastic:
<STRONG>*Dons his Tacticus cap*Well, your opening move lacks subtlety.
I move my kobolds around the well, and position my iron man in the middle of the still.
So does mine; but it's got style nonetheless.</STRONG>
Oh god, don't tell me you're trying the old Bulgarian Oktoberfest gambit. I had hoped all serious Tacticus players would have gotten that one out of their system by now. Sure it might look nice on paper, but anyone can see it coming a mile away and call a quick engraver rush and then you're screwed. (Unless of course you've got one or more French Unicorn cards in play, but that sort of defeats the purpose of the gambit in the first place, doesn't it?)
That being said, would anyone object if I joined? I see the perfect opening move.
Citizen of Earls Sheriff has been struck down.
Operator one has begun a mysterious construction.
Operator 3 has deployed the catapult.
Funny how things turn out with Pantshelm rules.
Op1: Mwaahahaha, just need the right dwarf.
Sheriff: Why did you have to kill yourself, now I'll destroy everything.
Op1: Come here
[Op1 grabs sheriff and drags him away]
Sheriff: What are you doing, let go, I must avenge him.
Op1: [Picks up a butcher knife] Mwaahahaha
Sheriff: Nooooo, help, fortress guard, sheriff anyone. AAAAUUUGGGHHH.
Op3: Just going to keep minding my own business, not going to ask about the screams.
Current pieces in play:
Turgid
Elephant at G19
Demon in the Magma vent
Rondol
48 carp in the river.
Capntastic
Kobolds around the well
Iron man in the still
PTTG??
300 kittens last seen on the west edge of the field. Began sneaking this turn.
Kleiden
Hammerer at LE 37 making jailcages
Citizen of Earl
One burning corpse in the magma
One TSK corpse in the butchers workshop
THLawrence
Operator 3 at IV 8
Catapult at IV 8
Operator 1 in butcher's shop working
Eventful turn I think
[ November 09, 2007: Message edited by: THLawrence ]
I place 6 zombie whales in the moat and send my brewer to work the still.
Edit: accounted for rule 23a sect. 4-8 (-0.8 pts. when involving more than 87 kittens.)
[ November 09, 2007: Message edited by: PTTG?? ]
[ November 09, 2007: Message edited by: Grek ]
Unfortunately I am unable to play the 1061 variation under the Pantshelm rules.
As Capntastic's Ironman (and his kittens) have fortunately left the still, I shall strike there (the overcrowding would haven given me a too high penalty otherwise)!
I place 3 deer in the still (scaring Xgamer4's brewer away and seizing the still, which scores me 3 points) and spawn a skeletal lungfish on the food-stockpile (I save the remaining starting points for later use)
Finally I end the turn, advancing the year to 1052 (Spring).
Let's see your dwarfs work without access to booze!
Operator 1 has created keskal an artifact dwarf bone crossbow.
All craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. This crossbow is adorned with rings of dwarf leather and menaces with with spikes of dwarf bone.
Operator 1 has become a legendary bowyer.
Operator 1 constructs 6 additional crossbows.
Operator 3 starts fire at will on the catapult targeted towards QA6.
Deploy miners 2 and 4 to IV 7 to redirect the flow of water to the magma vent.
Finally I deploy a giant cave spider to the forest to slow down the carp. Since they can only walk on land but not breath air this will cause them all get caught in the webs and be unable to return to river. Then they will suffocate.
I'm not going to include a review of the current units as there are to many now. Happens within a few turns when using pantshelm rules. Unless you take the rumredrumred rumredrumed rumred variation. But we're not doing that since all units upon appearence on the field become possessed.
CharonX we've got 6 masterwork/exceptional crossbows. Put them to good use.
ACK, I forgot the commentary.
Operator 1 raises keskal an artifact dwarf bone crossbow.
Operator 1: Look at what I have created, I call it keskal.
BOOMING VOICE: Good, now make 6 more.
Operator 1: On it.
Miner 2&4: OOOOOOHHHHH we'll dig and channel till we drown each other,
oooooorrrrr at least the demon.
Operator 3: Fire, Fire, Fire....
Giant cave spider: Hiss
Sorry about that, really want that beyond quality modifier for when we need more bolts. The original load won't last long.
[ November 09, 2007: Message edited by: THLawrence ]
I place four miners on the hill below the still and have them begin tunneling in to undermine the Still. I also set up my secret counter to anyone attempting a similar undermine strat.
EDIT: Fixed a typo.
[ November 10, 2007: Message edited by: Xgamer4 ]
quote:
Originally posted by WillNZ:
<STRONG>Hmmm... I hate to break up the fun, but I was looking through the Pantshelm rulebook, and it says that the elves arrive in two turns and they're serious about naming each tree. I hope this doesn't interrupt anyone's strategy.</STRONG>
Ug, don't tell me you're using the 8th edition rulebooks. Things really started to go downhill after 5th edition and the whole rhesus macaque pirate fiasco. Really, unless you're sold on the new stock market tables you're better off sticking with 4th edition books and maybe house-rule in the 6th edition supplemental rules for animal drunkenness.
Well in that case (and since I'm still by myself), I'll activate Operation Impossible Anthill. This allows me to place objects in locations that they normally are not allowed. I will therefore place buckets of water around each of my carps, so they have something to swim in.
Finally I'll make the Secret Alliance maneuver, which allows me to chose a non-Dwarven race, write it somewhere, and not reveal it. In four turns that race will send me 10 CR worth of reinforcements, of my choosing, unless anyone assaults land I control (which, currently, seems to be only the river) or attempts to attack any of my in-play units.
Gotta agree with the whole not using the 8th edition, though, I've never agreed with the normalization of intoxication effects per alcohol unit. Sure, -some- dwarves reached a blood alcohol level of "spontaneous self-combustion", but hey, that just adds flavour!
I know that you've all moved, however, per rule 42 of less-than-infinate-unlikelyness, I invoke the Michael-Baxter precedence, and place a purple-nosed ridge-back scalyfin Dragon whelp carrying 28 felsite thongs at +13 levels above, or in near vicinity to, the Catapult.
Having a carrying capacity of only 25 felsite thongs, the Dragon whelp plummets to the ground, on impact killing a small hoary marmot named Stan, which yields 1,3 points per felsite thong over the carry limit. Enraged, the remaining hoary marmots equip small sharpened sticks and rush to the trees, startling a small pack of amphibious olms, causing a very slow stampede towards the still. It will arrive in aproximately 236 turns.
Commentary:
Purple-nosed ridge-back scalyfin Dragon whelp: "Again?"
Stan: *squelch*
Hoary marmots: *terrifying enraged chirps*
Olms: Ehm... olm?
As per the rule of assumption, I am assumed to have made a very clever move, multiplying all my points for this round by a factor of 5.
But, as I'm sure you know, catapulting a felsite rock is grounds for the Hoary Marmot Defense...
Half my goblins rush forward to QA4 and start hurling live monarch butterlies at the catapult and its operator. The other half remain behind as the rock hits, splattering three and scattering the rest onto the surrounding squares. They immediately begin sneaking towards the gate.
As the Random Event Referee, I'm here to say that there's no apparent random effects happening at this time.
Oh. And if the Demon remains unmoving for much longer, it'll lose it's motion sickness.
However I cannot help but notice that no one seemed to remember the rule 993-e(9-11) from the 4th edition expansion pack "Dwarven Exhibionism": If a dwarven king arrives on the board, in the event of 2½+ deers overtaking a brewery, he is forced to remove his *Diorite Thong*. This causes 1d3 Ultimate Horror Damage to everything on the gameboard without the [BLIND] tag, and 1d6+1 Horrible Mental Image Damage to anyone unlucky enough to read this post (Unless they are wearing sunglasses).
Dwarf 1 claims the clothier's workshop and constructs artifact cave spider silk blocks. On them is an image of a elephant in cedar. The elephant is striking a menacing pose. On them is an image of giant eagles. The eagles are withering away. (Turgid bolk's elephant is now at defcon level K; all eagles are set on fire)
Dwarf 2 claims the jewler's workshop and constructs an enormous peridot corkscrew. It is encircled with bands of carp leather and menaces with spiked of whale bone. (+2 vs aquatic creatures)
Dwarf 3 claims the mason's workshop and constructs schist pipes. It is encircled with bands of schist. It menaces with spikes of schist. It menaces with spikes of schist. On it is an image of schist in schist.
I gain one schisty artifact point.
My remaining dwarf feeds dwarves one through 3 to turgid's elephant. It has reached defcon level ampersand. He gains control of their artifacts and assembles a screw pump at the river and activates it to flood everything below Z4. This includes the mines, farms, stills, dormitory, workshops, great hall, fortifications, gate, treasury, and metalworks.
Fine, good sir. You force me to reveal my ultimate plot.
I sell my starting anvil and clog up the river with 300 logs, 49 barrels of cheese and a leftover felsite thong. This should hopefully give the elves a collective heart attack.
I place a goblin sapper at square E34, and it uses its Illusory Correlation power to plant a !!spider silk mitten!! 2 tiles away from the Catapult, forcing all dwarves in the vicinity to go: "Ooh, shiny!" and run to pick it up, causing 1d6 fire damage to the AI. This leaves the Catapult unguarded for 1/4 of a round, giving me just enough time to launch a Groundhog in a Martial Trance at the still.
I use my remaining move to commit my Sparrowman to my secret ultimate weapon research project, dubbed "Inflate -3".
Finally, I choose Rondol as my partner, a ridiculous decision resulting in a humor-based +3 Morale bonus for my units, and I move to reinforce his carps with my Enraged Hoary Marmots.
I forbid the !!spider silk mitten!! and designate the surrounding area restricted.
I designate ability boost on Xenomroph's goblins giving them legendary +5 throwing .
I turn the catapult at QA4 operator 3 keeps firing away. Thanks to the bonus turns this has triple his firepower.
Operator 1 switches to making dwarf bone bolts from Vengeful Donut's dwarves. Once again thanks to the bonus turns this has enabled him to use up all 8 dwarves.
My giant cavespider sprays web towards the gate to ensure the carp and any sneaking goblins.
I place marksdwarves 2-7 about the butcher shop, Operator 1 is conscripted and takes command of the marksdwarves becoming marksdwarf 1
Marksdwarves 1-7 grab their masterwork/exceptional/artifact crossbows and the dwarf bone bolts then head to defend the still.
Miners 2&4 continue diverting the now dry riverbed to the magma vent.
Operator 3:OOOOHHHH shiny
BOOMING VOICE: No, don't touch, bad, forbid, forbid, forbid. Don't go anywhere near it. Just keep shooting at those gobbos.
Operator 3: [ANGRILY] Fine [/ANGRILY]
Giant Cave spider: Hiss
Carp: Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash
Marksdwarves 1-7: For the booze.
I activate "Screw Physics". It gives all my creatures [FLIER]. With this new addition I have my 6 zombie whales take to the sky and prepare to drop themselves on the catapult. As this is happening, my miners hit a chasm and unveil my secret weapon. A hydra.
AREAS CONTROLLED:
Chasm.
CREATURES:
6 zombie whales
4 Dwarven miners
1 Hydra
All the denizens of the chasm
Well played, sir.
As to substituting felsite thongs for catapults, why would you? You'd miss out on the +25 Nasty Underwear bonus, and I for one need it badly to fuel my doomsday device.
Now, in a fair approximation of the Gügenheimer gambit, I substitute my Martial Trance Groundhog using a random quantum fluxuation rift effect for an Elven Ninja (named, Arthur Ninkompoopin). Feeling safe from pirates due to the dryness of the riverbed, he stealths over to the forest and begins throwing coins at the Giant Cave Spider at a +5 bonus.
I lick my elbow for the extra agility bonus, and donate my remaining moves this turn to Rondol, giving him an extra 3 move.
As per my assumption bonus, this turn yields 23 points, bringing my total to 45 points, which will be enough to purchase a Tamed Grue next turn. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
and finally, in the distance, a quiet, distant sound can be heard, from a far darkness on the southern horizon, and that sound is that mysterious call, almost musical, and yet terrible in the majestic hugeness of the throng. That muted, chittering sound can only mean one thing:
...
the gibbons are coming
quote:
CREATURES:
6 zombie whales
4 Dwarven miners
1 Hydra
All the denizens of the chasm
I'll request an alliance with Xgamer4, noting that if he refuses, all of his undead and/or many headed monsters get -4 morale for refusing to help a multi-headed undead.
quote:
Originally posted by Rondol:
<STRONG>Under rule 4042.5, subsection 3c, I'll apply "Raw Editing Powers" to give all Fish the ability to walk on land. Since the forest is right next to the river I now control it, and I'll begin an assault on the Gate.</STRONG>
I can't believe I forgot to forbid this rule at the start, it only leads to ridiculous creatures like vomit-elementals. And I seriously doubt the professionalism of certain players invoking the more obscure rules, I had hoped to stick mostly to 3rd edition Pantshelm rules, which I feel was the more "pure" game...that's what I get for not specifying a rulebook, I suppose.
Anyway, since I had to skip 4 turns after playing the demon, I'm grateful to VengefulDonut for allying with me and promoting my elephant to highest defcon. The elephant (at G19) moves to E13, past the river. He passes and kills (by my count) 12 carp and mangles 1 in the kidney. He passes the river via the "brook" tiles, and oh dear, it seems his Bloodlust ability has been activated...and he's only one turn away from the goblins...
(Those wondering how he moved so far in one turn, refer to Chapter 1, section 57, subsection 2, header II.iv, in the "exceptions" sidebar, under Elephant defcon movement effects. Note that this has been in since 2nd edition - really, these are the basics, people. Grow a beard.)
Finally, I will spend my last turn points to bring...(rolls a pair of finely crafted +<<8801>>+)...14 immigrants into play from the northwest including (rolls) 2 cheesemakers, 1 soapmaker, 1 jeweler, 1 swordsdwarf, and 2 miners. The rest I'll take as peasants. The miners get to work digging to the bottom level in order to release my demon, the jeweler gets thirsty and makes a rush for the still, and the rest I give to VengefulDonut in compensation.
Therefore: Based on the "Past Rule Revocation" decision from the 744 World Cup of Tacticus game, all Raw Editing is hereby removed, and further editing is forbidden.
Now then. Since the spider has assaulted my carps again, as has the Giant Elephant, I get to ativate my Secret Alliance. My chosen race was Troll, so I will choose a Troll Sieger (CR4), an Armored Troll (CR4), and two Troll Whelps (CR1), who all appear in the forest quite angry.
I will order my Sieger to start hurling trees at the Giant Spider. Thrown trees behave as if they were wooden ballista bolts. My armored Troll and one Troll Whelp will descend into the river, making for the Gate, while the other Whelp goes about collecting Carps-in-buckets.
Over the course of my next turns, which were generously donated by my ally, 18 trees will be thrown at the cave spider, of which only the last two actually hit. Unfortunately, the last thrown tree was named, so the elves are somewhat upset with me now. My troll whelp has gathered up all the wayward carp while my other two trolls have been battering at the gates, trying to get through, and my carp-carrying troll is now moving towards the gate as well.
Going farther, my Miners descend into the chasm and begin digging safety rooms off to the side. After numerous unpauses (sorry guys, didn't realize that rule was still in effect >_< ) and the discovery of native platinum, gold, silver, tin, hematite, and marble they finally get around to starting the digging.
I then activate the "incremental additions" rule, which, as you remember, will give me an increasing number of immigrants each turn starting this turn. The amount increases by once each turn from the roll of a six-sided dice. *rolls* 3.
As per rule 36z, section 8c, subsection 78, paragraph 5, "all new units (immigrants, creatures, races, etc) who join the battle on the side of one who has added tags (flier, amphibious, etc) are also affected by the tag."
I set the woodcutter to work cutting down trees, the metalsmith to work down in the chasm, and I tell the Speardwarf to join the zombie whales over the catapult.
Oh, and you hear a deep rumbling from somewhere in the cavern. Thought you'd like to know.
Now since there are no other remaining undead on the field to contest me and my dozens of dwarf bone bolts and dwarf bone artifact crossbow. The animated creatures are, 1 dwarf bone artifact crossbow, 8 stacks of dwarf bone bolts, 8 rotting dwarf hides, 1 burning dwarf corpse in the magma vent and 2 stacks of 5 dwarf meat.
Going to be low on supplies soon. Good turn though. Down a catapult, up an undead horde of body pieces. Good turn.
Commentary will follow soon.
Gravity: Wait a second, get down here.
Zombie whale 1: Ahhh! Woooh! What's happening? Who am I? Why am I here? What's my purpose in life? What do I mean by who am I?
Zombie whale 2: One question at a time I don't know what's going on either.
Zombie whale 3: Well we should start naming things to make it easier to figure out what everything is. What's that?
Zombie whale 4: Lets call it a... tail!
All whales: Yeah! Tail!
Zombie whale 5: And hey, what's this roaring sound, whooshing past what I'm suddenly gonna call my head?
Zombie whale 4: Wind! Is that a good name?
Zombie whale 3: It'll do
Zombie whale 6: Yeah, this is really exciting. I'm dizzy with anticipation! Or is it the wind? There's an awful lot of that now isn't it?
Zombie whale 1: And what's this thing coming toward us very fast?
Zombie whale 3: So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like 'Ow', 'Ownge', 'Round'.
Zombie whale 2: 'Ground'!
Zombie whale 5: That's it! Ground!
Zombie whale 4: What do we call the fast little stubby guy that seems to be running away?
Zombie whale 1: How about short little stubby guy.
Zombie whale 6: I wonder if it'll be friends with
us?
Zombie whale 5: I don't know, he seems to be running awfully fast for a short little stubby guy. Maybe the ground will be.
Zombie whale 3: It's coming towards us really fast, it must really want to be our friend.
All whales: Hello Ground!
The only thing the speardwarf thought was: 'Oh no, not again.'
Operator 3 leaps out of the ways as a the catapult explodes in a bloody explosion behind him.
Troll: Got it, second time too. Didn't kill it but it should be able to fight with all of its legs mangled, eyes poked out, and injured internal organs.
Cavespider: Hiss
Troll: Argh, it's sticky.
Miner 2: With the river directed as such, we just need the water.
Miner 4: Lets go take out that dam.
Miner 2: Just don't dig out the ground under me again.
Miner 4: You knew I was digging there, you could of stood anywhere else.
Miner 2: But I wanted to stand there.
Arguments continue ending in Miner 2 agreeing to stay out of Miner 4's way if he got to use him as a pick.
Marksdwarf x: Hey shouldn't we of run out of food by now?
Marksdwarf 1: No, we've been saving our original rations until they're needed.
Marksdwarf x: Then...what..have...we...been......eating?
Marksdwarf 1: Dwarf meat
Marksdwarf x: When did we get dwarf meat!?
Marksdwarf 1: I butchered some of the dead dwarves to make bone bolts, got some meat out of it as well. There are also some old skins, but we don't have a tanner so they're just rotting back there.
Marksdwarf x: I think I'm going to be sick.
Animated Meat: Well don't horf on me. You ate my brother already, don't need hork on me.
Marksdwarf x: HHHHHOOOORRRRFFF.
keskal: Wow, I didn't know you could projectile vomit at that range.
Marksdwarf y: Um, why is your crossbow floating there in the air?
Marksdwarf 1: Told you there was something special about it.
Marksdwarf z: Better question why did our bone bolts suddenly start flying around?
keskal: It is Deathskull Eve, we shall live again!
Marksdwarf y: Um, so should we just use our crossbows like hammers then?
Marksdwarf w: They can be used another way?
Marksdwarf y: Hm, good point.
If you don't get the reference about the whales, YOU SUCK.
As I have to skip my current turn due to donating my moves, I make no action this turn, apart from remarking that per the 3rd edition Pantshelm rules, I am allowed to purchase a unit this current turn, as that does not cost any move. I therefore purchase a Tamed Grue at a yet unknown dark location. Tremble.
Also, my Named Elven Ninja has by now put out -all- the spider's eyes (I don't need to mention that spiders have more than 2) with his spinning coins, as a Ninja is trained to act independently and has his own move count, and rescued a smallish Halfling from its webs. Though he appears dead, he's merely paralyzed by the spider's venom. This gains me 5 points and a *gold ring*.
Commentary:
Grue: (deadly silence)
Ninja: (also deadly silence)
Giant Cave Spider: "Eeek, ogh, ouchy, OI GEVALT!"
Gold Ring: "Equip me, equip me!"
Note that the cheese in my dam has ripened to beyond even dwarven standards, which means that any creature wishing to approach the dam must no make a Smell check and a Fortitude check at a DC of 25, or be affected as by Concentrated Miasma, taking 4d6 nose damage and becoming dazed for 2d3 rounds. Undead, Ultra-Tough Dwarves and creatures with no nose are immune to this effect.
Unfortunately, with the destruction of my whales I have to delay my strategy. Thankfully, though, the dwarven caravan wanders in carrying the 100 logs I ordered in secret as per Rule 76b, section z, subsection Ω, paragraph Φ. I set the woodcutter (gravity has yet to notice him) to work hauling those logs into the chasm cave (which my miners finally finished digging) and near the magma workshops the metalsmith set up near a magma vent he found. Luckily this vent provides light to my fortress as per the alternative rules for magma as found in the rulebook Magma Mystique. Interestingly enough, though, due to an (un)lucky dice roll my metalsmith has entered a mood. And now he's grabbing stuff. Gotta wait a turn or two to see what he makes, though.
COMMENTARY:
Woodcutter: Chop, chop, chop, falling whales, chop, how normal, chop, chop, chop.
Caravan: Get'cha logs here!
Woodcutter: :(. Now I have to actually haul stuff. *flies over and starts hauling*
Metalsmith: Wood and magma. No worries about fuel now. Ah! Ah! I SEE THE MASTERPIECE! *has entered a mood*
Miners: Di di dig. Di di dig. Trio trio trio.
Hydra: RRROOOOOOAAAAARRR!!!
Then I will begin my turn. My troll sieger will begin hurling logs at the Gate and Fortifications, attempting to breach the fortress and let out all that water.
Troll: ME, TROGDAR, SMASH!
The troll whelps will start picking up rocks and fashioning toy axes (with other rocks) out of them to use as projectile weapons.
Whelps: Ooo! Rock look like axe! Me throw at bad guys! *dodges flying tree*
Trogdar: SNARG! Tree better to throw! GRAUGH!
Finally my Armored Troll is going to do bad things to that ninja. If he can find him.
Troll: Here, elfy elfy! I no hurt you. Me just want to give you biiiiiiiig hug!
quote:
Originally posted by Grek:
<STRONG>Seeing as I have two head of ettin and 1 ettin egg and am allied with the chasm,, -I'm- taking command of the Deathskull Eve undead and ordering them to carve a fortress out of the cheese dam. It will be ready in 3 turns.</STRONG>
You are only allied with the chasm and not have them effected by either the screw physics bonus or its counter, gravity notices. By that they would not be under your direct control and will not add to your undead count. In addition you have to remember the dozens of bone bolts that would count toward my score. I would remain in control of the undead pieces scattered around boards. It is not my turn yet so I can not move yet.
Checking up my poor deers I sadly must report that one of them has perished due to the ultimate horror damage, the others suffering from yellow brain injuries, dropping unconscious at times. Still, as I still have control over the still (heh) I score 5 more points (though that will probably soon end when PTTG?? tantruming woodcutdirtdigger and the hedgedogs reach it, I fear. Maybe I'll get lucky and Turgid Bolk's jeweler gets there first, he'd be a good distraction for the tantruming miner)
At least my skeletal lungfish was not affected by Horror at all and still holds the stockpile, which scores me another point. Yay!
As I end my turn advancing the year to 1053 (Autumn) I check for events...
...
Gods help us all! Immigrants! Dozends of them. No, I stand corrected... Grosses of them, and they just keep coming!
Thusly, as someone esteemed enough to have read this all-encompassing collection of proper form, I can only say I have but one choice.
I deploy a squad of six fodd...um, I mean dwarves, armed with picks to dig up and utilize the secret cache of thermonuclear warheads that I cleverly placed using Rule 117 of Pregame Asset Placement.
Eat it, suckers!
[ November 10, 2007: Message edited by: Skeeblix ]
My Wilted Plump Helmet is walked over by the gem setter ten times, thus invoking Unknown Bug 72, transforming it into a Beeve.
Also, I would like to play Chasm Drop on the Artifact Crossbow made from my sheriff.
Finally, I wish to place an Elven Druid (Dabbling) and a Troll near the gem setter and the Beeve.
quote:
Originally posted by Rondol:
<STRONG>
Finally my Armored Troll is going to do bad things to that ninja. If he can find him.Troll: Here, elfy elfy! I no hurt you. Me just want to give you biiiiiiiig hug!</STRONG>
Uhm, attacking my log/cheese dam I can understand, as it has been compromised. But why are you attacking my ninja, ally?
Unless... Are you perhaps attempting a Ploy of Penultimate Backstabbery? In that case, you should tell me. It'll work better that way, I promise. For real.
Any way, it is now next turn, and it's time for me to use my platoon of enraged hoary marmots to attack the immigrants, to spread maximum confusion. Charge!
Also, please note that the Hydra is currently in a very dark place and is likely to be eaten by a Grue. The Hydra has been eaten by a Grue. Mehehe.
My named elven ninja, however, has unfortunately equipped the *gold ring* and disappeared so thoroughly that he's not even here anymore. The ninja may or may not have left the map in search of a Caldera.
It is now only 232 turns until my olms arrive at the still.
I use my remaining points this turn to purchase 20 Groundhog Berserkers, whom I promptly order to surround the still and begin chriping terrifyingly to scare out whatever the hell is in there, while beating their little chests with their little paws in a scary diplay of toughness.
Finally, I roll a d20 to see wether or not my Doomsday Device is complete... and I get a 3. Feck. It seems my "Inflate -3" weapon won't inflate. I'll have to try again next turn.
Commentary:
Ninja: *disappear*
Grue: Grue.
Hydra: "Oh, the pain, the pain of it all! Goodbye, cruel world" * 7
Enraged Hoary Marmots: *chirp*!!!
Groundhog Berserkers: Waaaaagh!
Sparrowman: Duhr, how I mine for fish?
My soaper is in a very dark place.
He is likely to be eaten by a grue.
Urist Dwarvenname has been struck down.
My legendary pump operator (from the artifact screw pump) re-tames the grue.
quote:
Originally posted by Kyselina:
<STRONG>Can someone give me a link or something so I can see these rules?</STRONG>
quote:
Originally posted by Kyselina:
<STRONG>But powergoals (42 and 43 I think) got something about games of tacticus too, it gotta be something.</STRONG>
This insult sends me into a blind fury, canceling my initial plan of opening. I instead choose now to invoke Pantshelm rule C-1 subsection 12 line two, which allows a player to summon a dimensional rift. Such a rift may only be summoned once every 27 turns.
I then proceed to place 10 flying zombie carp five squares from the main farm in ambush.
quote:
Originally posted by Skeeblix:
<STRONG>Blasphemy!This insult sends me into a blind fury, canceling my initial plan of opening. I instead choose now to invoke Pantshelm rule C-1 subsection 12 line two, which allows a player to summon a dimensional rift. Such a rift may only be summoned once every 27 turns.
I then proceed to place 10 flying zombie carp five squares from the main farm in ambush.</STRONG>
quote:
It probably will be something, but this thread likely has nothing to do with that something, except for sharing a name. They're all just blithering madmen.
Are you calling the time-honored tradition of Tacitus the game of madmen??? Of course there's a set of rules, they are set in stone! Miles of stone, in granite, at the bottom of the great Fortress of Pantshelm, for all to see. Only elves don't know that. Are you an elf?!
Do not be disheartened, dear players! This noble game must be finished! ONWARD!!!
quote:
Originally posted by Fenrir:
<STRONG>
Case and point...</STRONG>
Well, that's not in the spirit of Tactitus at all, is it now? As has been said earlier, this game is much like the earthly game of Calvinball without the ball, and as such, makes an extremely fun exercise of the intellect.
Also, since fifth edition has been referenced, I'm going to have to apply the Observer Initiation Clause, found in appendix 768-04, which allows me, as a person who has been watching but not actively playing to move the philosopher into the treasury, taking control of it for 4.234512 points and putting out the lights. As you all know, should he be attacked and killed by the grue or anything else the game will be rerolled per Rondol's use of rule 1a. Also, I have my ranger, who snuck in with the last load of immigrants, dump the booze into the garbage dump, which I have designated over the magma vent. I'm sure you can see what should happen soon.
As I recall, there is a one move window in which one can leave a dark place before the grue gets them. Also, a tentative alliance is extended towards Skeeblix, as our combined knowledge of the proper form should be enough to triumph. Skeeblix, do you accept?
Philosopher: Hmmm, am I alive, or am I dead? Is this treasury part of the grand plan, or a simple illusion? If I douse these lights and cover the entrances, casting the place into darkness, does it become a falsehood?
Ranger: I cannot just throw this away!
Voice: Yes, you can!
Ranger: Fine, have it your way. Now, where's the dump? Ah, there it is.
[ November 11, 2007: Message edited by: Dwarven Malcolite ]
However considering that plan was a failure, I'll have to find another way.
I believe we've managed to cause enough damage to the fortifications and gate for there to be cracks, through which the water which is flooding it are starting to pour out. Thus, I'll order my whelps to throw all the fish into the fortress, thereby taking control of the Great Hall since I don't think anyone else has the ability to survive in there for long, save maybe the iron man that was in the still, but I think that he's taken care of.
Carp uses Splash!
Carp: *splash*
The attack was ineffective.
The, for the morale boost, my trolls are going to have a massive, disgusting orgy of awfulness. This gives them a +30% boost to their morale.
Troll:
...Actually on second thought, I don't think we need a narrative of that.
Meanwhile, my Ambusher goblins reach the gate and begin crawling over each other, just next to the trade depot.
quote:
You are only allied with the chasm and not have them effected by either the screw physics bonus or its counter, gravity notices. By that they would not be under your direct control and will not add to your undead count.
We are playing with the super noble fun variation right? I have a crown and a secpter and a ring. That gives me +6 noble points times two because of the two heads, allowing me to declare myself a baron. Seeing as there are no other nobles in the alliance, I can totaly take over the chasm.
quote:
In addition you have to remember the dozens of bone bolts that would count toward my score.
The bone bolts don't count, only undead with skulls count toward total number of undead.
quote:
Originally posted by Grek:
<STRONG>The bone bolts don't count, only undead with skulls count toward total number of undead.</STRONG>
How do you know that the bolts are not <<Dwarven>>, with images of dwarven skulls in dwarven bone on them? In that case, the bolts could indeed count towards the number of undead as they would have skulls. After all, thanks to the Gica Sareve dispute, it is not technically required for one to display whether or not an object has been decorated.
i have a caravan of 4 dwarf peasants and 2 pack mules.
i would also like to request a alliance with THLawrence on the basis of references concerning the best book ever.
my caravan moves into the great hall and sets up camp unaware of the battles tacking place around them
quote:
Originally posted by Dwarven Malcolite:
<STRONG>How do you know that the bolts are not <<Dwarven>>, with images of dwarven skulls in dwarven bone on them? In that case, the bolts could indeed count towards the number of undead as they would have skulls. After all, thanks to the Gica Sareve dispute, it is not technically required for one to display whether or not an object has been decorated.</STRONG>
No, I didn't have the bones to do that. However Xgamer4's units were effected by both screw physics, which meant they were flying around happily, and gravity notices, which hit ALL of the flying units, even the natural fliers. This has killed all of the chasm creatures as they fell into the chasm or onto each other in a painful manner. However I seem to have over looked your undead ettin. So the army of undead pieces is on its way to the cheese dam, as per your move.
Now then for my turn:
With keskal out about on his own marksdwarf 1 is released from duty becoming operator 1.
Operator 1 begins making 5 more crossbows from the zombie whale pieces and the pieces of the speardwarf. Then switches to using the remaining bones for bolts.
Operator 3 pulls 3 ballista parts from his backpack and begins deploying the ballista.
I set have my marksdwarves put the bonebolts into thier quivers thus imobilizing them. The extra bonebolts and meats are put in the backpacks. Also immobilizing them.
I place a goblin childsnatcher beside keskal who is snatched up and put in the bag, thus immobilizing him.
I forbid keskal and the bag he is in.
Miner's 2&4 have reached the cheese dam and since they have massive ability boosts, since they are miners and all miners quickly end up with ability boosts they easily overcome the cheese with their own odor. Miner 4 starts using miner 2 as a pick while miner 2 uses both the actual picks. They are destroying the cheese dam.
Finally I place ability boost on Chub Chubs dwarves giving them each swimmer level experience. Preventing them from drowning. Well come to the alliance chub chubs. Remember only place swimmers and things that don't breath in flooded areas.
Commentary:
Marksdwarf 1: Well if I don't have keskal I might as well make more crossbows.
Operator 3: That...Was....AWESOME! Lets see if they do that to the ballista.
Marksdwarves 2-7: Well what do we do with these? They're trying to kill us.
BOOMING VOICE: Put them in your quivers. Here's some help.
Goblinsnatcher appears.
BOOMING VOICE: Grab the homicidal crossbow or I'll feed you to the wrestlers.
Goblinsnatcher: dddeeeaaaallll.
BOOMING VOICE: Don't let anyone touch the bags afterwards.
Miner 2&4: DIG AWAY
This has disabled the undead army of dwarven bits.
I'm going to spend my points that I have been accumulating these past turns (that most of you squandered on more units!) to designate a zone centered on my artifact screw pump. This zone includes the treasury, the river, and the mines. The zone is a negation negation zone and a sharpening reallocation zone.
Since these are new tems in fifth edition, some of you may not be aware what they mean and I'm going to go into brief detail on them.
A negation negation zone negates the negation of any unit entering it. For example, if a an undead entered the zone, it would become un-un-dead. Since there is only one possible negation collapse for this situation, it would be dead. On the other hand, if an antisocial counterintelligence agent were to enter the zone, it would become an anti-antisocial counter-counterintelligence agent. Counter-counterintelligence does not collapse at all: this is now an agent that works against counterintelligence. On the other hand, anti-antisocial has two options (the choice would be up to the controller): it could either collapse into the opposite of antisocial; namely social. Or it could be someone who doesnt like antisocials.
A sharpening reallocation zone treats all piercing damage dealt inside the zone as blunt damage and all blunt damage as piercing damage. Any %chance of stuckin is unaffected.
The philosopher, being in a dark place, is naturally eaten by my grue. He cannot become undead (resetting the game) because he is inside the negation negation zone. He simply stays dead. My grue has taken control of the treasury, but I wil forgoe the treasury bonus and instead import a hammer(halfman/halfdwarf/halfelf). Note that the too many halves rule makes an exception for the case where the controller has a schisty artifact point.
Now, for my turn. My metalsmith drags gold, hematite, and a log into the magma forge and begins work. He creates a gold sword named "The Golden Peace".
All craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. This sword is adorned with rings of hematite and menaces with with spikes of Tower cap.
Metalsmith has become a legendary metalsmith.
I set him to work making steel bars.
My miners continue digging out rooms and storage. The immigrants that continually come (four of them this time) all fly down to the storage areas (Gravity notices is instantaneous, not ongoing). I set the mason to begin making stone doors and the carpenter to making torches (they were introduced in the handbook "The Amazingness of Wood") in the event someone else brings a Grue into play.
Oh, and now might be a good time to say that gravity notices only killed the living chasm dwellers. Most of them were already undead and, thus, are still under my control.
The other two peasants get Init. Alteration played on them to disable temperature. I then march them into the magma to figure out where the magma comes from/goes. Both of them are drafted as wrestlers just in case they encounter something dangerous.
Commentary:
Metalsmith: Gold! Iron! Wood! SWORD!!!! *stab* *stab* *stab* ...Oh, now I have to work. :(
Miners: Di di dig. Di di dig. Trio trio trio.
Immgigrants: AAAHHHH!! WHY CAN WE NOW FLY!!!?!?! *flies into chasm and are immediately sent to work*
Undead chasm dwellers: ... (like they can talk)
Peasants: I'm not steppin' into the magma.
Me: Yes you are. Go!
Peasant 1/Wrestler 1: *goes* Hey! We're not dieing! *1 sticks head under magma*
Wrestler 2/Peasant 2: Stop that! You can still drown!
quote:
Originally posted by Xgamer4:
<STRONG>
Oh, and now might be a good time to say that gravity notices only killed the living chasm dwellers. Most of them were already undead and, thus, are still under my control. </STRONG>
Gravity notices caused them to fall from where they were, this would cause them to either fall into the chasm, or explode on impact. Since we are not playing undead body parts* the undead become dead. Yes, we are playing with no undead body parts as it can be game breaking when players send single hairs of their undead to fight. Or even single molecules.
*The undead dwarven body parts counts are due to deathskull eve, which overrode the no undead body parts.
I am curious, though. What's the elves progress with naming all of the trees?
My troll, which is perfectly agile, will take to running around the map and hassling all the dogs, getting them to chase. And bothering no one else.
The gem setter is joined by a stonecarver and a leatherworker, and they mutter over the prices of their goods.
Oh yes! And my dabbling Elven druid goes searching for Fulgarite.
[ November 11, 2007: Message edited by: Citizen of Erl ]
Also, seeing as it is deathskull eve, the whales should still be undead untill it's over.
I will also use my remaining points to give my noble ettin a spellbook with the words gnusto and fontz in it.
quote:
Originally posted by Grek:
<STRONG>The egg lands right on top of the miners, and they are knocked out by the newly formed baby ettin as if there was a cavein. The baby ettin lets the bolts loose.Also, seeing as it is deathskull eve, the whales should still be undead untill it's over.
I will also use my remaining points to give my noble ettin a spellbook with the words gnusto and fontz in it.</STRONG>
I'm also going to ignore the fact that your undead ettin could lay eggs that weren't undead themselves.
If your baby ettin landed near the miners who are at the dam in the river, then how did it release the bolts who are at the still surrounded by, at the last count:
1 jeweler
11 marksdwarves
1 goblin snatcher
2 deer
20 groundhog berserkers who have the still surrounded
Also Deathskull eve only effects dwarven pieces.
quote:
Originally posted by Rondol:
<STRONG>...in the event that if at any time anything is dead (undead counts, animated/inanimate objects do not) within the Treasury the entire board is reset, the world is rerolled...</STRONG>
quote:
Originally posted by Vengeful Donut:
<STRONG>The philosopher, being in a dark place, is naturally eaten by my grue. He cannot become undead (resetting the game) because he is inside the negation negation zone. He simply stays dead.</STRONG>
The key parts here are that the philosopher is dead within the Treasury. They do not HAVE to be undead. Dead works as well. The effect has been triggered
Now, I'm going to assume that my trolls have been busy little (big?) buggers and have therefore been chucking those toy axes about. Therefore anyone with any units outside of the fortress (River or Forest areas) flip a coin to see if I hit any of your units with a toy axe. We'll assume they stick in (Tails will include a failed stick, as well as a fatal blow), which means they are now a part of that units inventory, thus meaning the controller has a Toy Axe and must type their next four turns completely in-character. Of course I still have some axes, so I'm included.
Commencing game reset...
"The objective of the game of Tacticus is to win."
quote:
Originally posted by Rondol:
<STRONG>There ARE rules. We just... don't know them yet. Because we're making them up as we go. And with that I'm going to institute rule 2:"The objective of the game of Tacticus is to win."</STRONG>
Ok, the board has been reset, causing multiple in flaggrante blueshift fluxuations, which allows you to bring either a) A total of one (1) unit from the previous board, OR b) The sum of your remaining points from the last round of the previous board.
I select b), and due to the general Rule of Assumption (3rd edition, section 34z "Rules about ruling about rules", subsection "Make an ass out of you and you", second paragraph, third line), where I am assumed to have made a very clever move each of my previous rounds, giving me a total of... Let's see, carry the nine... 25743,2 points. Unfortunately, due to losing a Ninja and a Grue last round, both units [SPECIAL] as per Pantshelm rules for specializations, I must deduct 50% of my score for each unit lost, bringing me back down to 0 points. Huh... That sucks.
Fine, then I'm going to try something different this time.
I sell my starting anvil and purchase a Legendary Dwarven miner named Timmy Dorfmuncher with a Steel Pick, who thoroughly enjoys reading Jules Verne and dreams about some day becoming a fisherman, the most dangerous profession of any dwarf ever. He absolutely detests felsite thongs. I order him to commence tunneling at a ferocious rate, straight downwards, towards the Demon Pits, making sure he has plenty of torchlight. Wouldn't want to meet any Grues. With my remaining points, I buy a Hoary Marmot named Stan.
Timmy: Timmeh!
Stan: Chirp! (waves his tiny fist at something up in the skies)
Demon pits: *ominus rumbling*
quote:
Originally posted by Dwarven Malcolite:
<STRONG>Skeeblix, do you accept?
[ November 11, 2007: Message edited by: Dwarven Malcolite ]</STRONG>
I do indeed accept your proposal for an alliance.
I carry over one of my flying zombie carp from the previous round and station it in the trade depot to prevent any outside aid.
Also, citing wall 386 of Pantshelm's Hall of Rules, specifically the engraving titled "Itchnuts the Ancient Pain of Balls" I change the settings on the main food stockpile to accept only bags of sand.
[ November 11, 2007: Message edited by: Skeeblix ]
It's like, organic, dude. You just go with the leaves, y'know? Follow the grain, like.
Also, if you'd made a play, and then exploded your head, you probably could have gone for the Disability bonus, and I quote subsection B-1, 3rd edition: "Players who are deemed "kinda slow" by a collective panel of Batmen, get an extra turn at the start of the game, as long as not more than 3 rounds have already been played. This rule is only valid as long as said player does NOT start with the Adamantine Scepter of Unruliness, in which case he is DEDUCTED one turn due to the general rule of "unfair play"."
Of course, "unfair play" is only applicable as long as you're on the Fairway, but I don't need to tell you that, now do I, hehehe... Oh, the laughs. Good times.
Good luck getting past that panel, though, those Batmen have been real ornery after the 2nd edition ruleset came out, revoking their flying permits. Plus, you know... They ARE kinda batty... I'm just sayin'
Edit: Remind me again, we ARE playing by the 3rd edition Pantshelm rules still, right? In that case, do alliances reset when the board does? I can't be arsed to look it up. Referee?
[ November 11, 2007: Message edited by: Blargh ]
quote:
Originally posted by Skeeblix:
<STRONG>I do indeed accept your proposal for an alliance.
[ November 11, 2007: Message edited by: Skeeblix ]</STRONG>
Thank you Skeeblix. I am sure this will be a truly game-dominating alliance. Also, is my memory mistaken, or is that a modified version of the moves used in the 972 Tricavern Goblet? Good move. It should stymie all but the most unorthodox of responses.
I believe that I will have to import my ranger from the previous game, who, as a result of the class inventory tables for retaining followers, found in appendix 15d spleen 33E-m, comes with a complete set of *<<Fox>>*, all of which menace with spikes of Obsidian, a -Lead Flask- with 3 water, a (Steel Crossbow) and 42 Steel Bolts.
I then move him to the Ballista, with orders to apply his status as a grand high master marksman to hit the next creature to come withing 35 spaces of the ballista who is not allied with me with the loaded iron ballista bolt. This is, of course, following the precedent of the 842 Oncol Gengar games, which allowed that Ballista were giant crossbows and as such, the marksdwarf skill applies to them as well.
Ranger: What happen? Did somebody set up us the booze? Hey, Look, a giant crossbow! And it happens to have an iron bolt! How lucky. Now all that needs to happen is something to come into range that is not that flying carp over there...
Also, wasn't the ninja actually an independent unit who switched sides to that of the ring's creators? That's only a 49% deduction, though it also means the ninja could have chosen to retain himself over to this board, though we'd only find out about it is the ninja decided to remove the ring or do something to affect us.
[ November 12, 2007: Message edited by: Dwarven Malcolite ]
A giant voice boomed out from above: "Because I decided to keep you. You're big and angry. Now go tear a lot of trees out of the ground."
"But me no want to."
"DO IT! Or you'll be smited."
"No master! Me no want you to smited me! Me will get trees! ... What smited mean?"
"It doesn't matter. Get the trees. Here, these four dwarves are your pets. They will -- No, hey stop -- PUT HIM DO--" The voice stopped for a moment as the troll wiped dwarf blood off of his mouth, then sighed. "Trogdar, the dwarves are NOT snacks."
"But me hungry!"
"So eat a rock or something. As I was saying, these fo... er, three dwarves are your pets now. They are going to dig you a home, OK?"
The troll grinned, and pointed downwards towards the ground, telling the dwarves to get to work. With a chorus of "Yeth mathtah"s the remaining pets began to dig. The troll lumbered off and began tearing nearby trees from the ground -- when abruptly the terrain changed from a normal, forested area to a cold, barren tundra. It can only be assumed that the world wasn't finished being created, or something, and that whoever was in control flipped a coin a few times. As a result of there being no trees, the troll decided to go yell at his new pets in the quickly-widening cave instead.
In response to Blargh: Based on the dictates of Default Core Rule X-22/5 (remember to slide the decimal to the right), I invoke the Assumed Rule of Assumption (this particular instance is covered on the third page of the aforementioned rule section), by which any Crystal Spines rules currently in effect cannot be carried between board states. Allow me to mention however that by the Unexplained Severing of Ties rule, all players would have been assumed to have broken all alliances anyway, due to exploding tempers over nonexistent squabbles. (Dwarven Malcolite's alliance with Skeeblix is immune, I believe, because it was not finalized until after the state-change).
I gain the advantage of the Broken Billy Goat Effect because I never read the last page of the version three rulebook. This combined with my compensation for entering the game late allows me to enter play with 3 bronze billy goat colossi at a point of my choosing. I place them in the caverns, sneaking in ambush inside the treasury. Due to to "Assumption of Secretive Possession By Animated Statues" Statute, I am considered the owner of the contents of the treasury (amounting to 5 units of cave spider silk and 1 Artifact Adamantine Spoon), making me the welthiest player in this game, and granting me the ability to bring an Extreme Banker noble into play within 5 turns unless my current state is drastically altered. How drastic an alteration is will be determined by the council of batmen from before. If they do not survive until then, they are assumed to have ruled in my favor.
quote:
Originally posted by Sylverone:
<STRONG>Fenrir: Due to to "Assumption of Secretive Possession By Animated Statues" Statute, I am considered the owner of the contents of the treasury (amounting to 5 units of cave spider silk and 1 Artifact Adamantine Spoon), making me the welthiest player in this game, and granting me the ability to bring an Extreme Banker noble into play within 5 turns unless my current state is drastically altered. How drastic an alteration is will be determined by the council of batmen from before. If they do not survive until then, they are assumed to have ruled in my favor.</STRONG>
Aren't you forgetting about Skeeblix's control of the Trade Depot and the finished goods bins within? Based on my knowledge of the Guidelines for Wealth-Based Advantages, I'd have to say that you don't qualify for the Extreme Banker. You do, however, qualify for the UltraBanker, which has the exact same effects as the Extreme Banker but requires one less coffer.
This is based upon the Illusory Area Rules, which state that any location that existed previously but does not at the current state exists until a unit is moved to that area or the area is interacted with, at which point the dissapear. The rules do say that one keeps any bonuses they get due to controlling the area, even if the area then dissapears, until the board state is reevaluated.
Of course, this does not apply for new areas or areas that still exist.
[ November 12, 2007: Message edited by: Dwarven Malcolite ]
[ November 12, 2007: Message edited by: Dwarven Malcolite ]
Referring to the 3rd Edition Pantshelm rules, 4th revision, the Earned Unit Placement rules on page 635 of the corebook state that I may site my two acquisitions within ten tiles of any controlled territory. I place one axedwarf buffer on both the east and west sides of the trade depot at the ten tile max, and based on the Enemy Engagement Proclamation, order them to attack any opposition in an 8 tile radius of them.
My flying zombie carp then one moves z-level above the depot to scout potential threats.
quote:
Also, wasn't the ninja actually an independent unit who switched sides to that of the ring's creators? That's only a 49% deduction, though it also means the ninja could have chosen to retain himself over to this board, though we'd only find out about it is the ninja decided to remove the ring or do something to affect us.
This is a very good point, and it really is a matter of wether or not I "lost" my ninja unit when I lost control over it. I haven't found anything in 3rd edition about this, but if I can draw a paralell to 5th edition, chapter 3, section 4-B, subsection alfalfa, it clearly states that unit control loss is less or not equal to/than losing a unit by Death and/or extreme loss of bowel function. I subsequently retain the right to reclaim my 1 lost percentage of points in the event the ninja should show up once more. Glad we've settled that.
However, things have taken a pretty weird turn with my miner. My playbook doesn't really know what to do with this, but my miner has stumbled upon a vault on his way to the Demon pits, that seems to lead to something called "The Incredibly deep Chasm with A Really Really Deep Lake at the Bottom", and it has a really weird inscription in front, anyone have the "Peculiar Language Translation" booklet that came with the 3rd edition expansion pack, "Weird goats and other rules"?
It says "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn". And there seems to be a really deep rumbling coming from OH gosh darnit, my miner has just gone insane. Drat and bebother it! He's starting some kind of ritual.
I order Stan down the mineshaft to investigate.
Stan? STAN?
Without using another turn, however, I need to point something out. Blargh, you have referenced subsection alfalfa accurately, however you neglected to mention subsection asparagus, which covers the event of undeath. This may not SEEM important; however, if you look in appendix C (Magical Items) of the first edition of the Pantshelm rulebook, under the heading Greater Rings of Power, you will realize that many of the Greater Rings bestowed invisibility on the bearer, thus raising the distinct possibility that the ring owned by the ninja is, indeed, such a ring. If you then reference the SECOND edition rulebook in the same section, you will see that prolonged exposure to and/or use of such items will transform any non-celestial living being into an incorporeal undead bound to the ring.
You, sir, may have some explaining to do.
Also, the prospect of an incorporeal undead named elven ninja, with an invisibilty ring and the ability to use Kage Bunshen no Jutsu, terrifies the heck out of me. Can we use Emergency Action 98c subsection Omega to call the Ghostbusters and/or Chuck Norris if it all goes to pot?
And while I'm on terrifying, it appears Stan has been sacrificed. I'm going to need a minute to figure out if I even have any units left at this point. Also, there is more rumbling.
EDIT: Edited in accordance with Rulebook "Enigma, Gamma, Sigma, correct spelling in Tacticus, a guide. By Arthur Tommyknocker, MD"
[ November 12, 2007: Message edited by: Blargh ]
However, Emergency Action § may be applied should the situation require Bruce Willis, Darth Vader, or the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. In addition subsection 4é of that Action allows for the summoning (via 5.3-man summoning circle; see the additional rulebook "Summoning Circles for Dummies") of Kratos or James Bond if gratuitous violence is required.
If the demand is meet the player who gave him the rings will get to pick a reward from page 143. Also those who fail to meet demand befor 1 player has it will get a random punishment form the table on page 176.
Unfortunately this means my kobolds will start 43 Z-levels beneath the ground level, in solid granite.
[Edit]
Curses! I just realized I could've used any of the plants included in the TACTICUS 45th expansion "Fucknuts and Other Strange Vegetation" instead of kobold tokens!
[ November 12, 2007: Message edited by: Jusal ]
quote:
Originally posted by Keilden:
<STRONG>My King now uses his special demand ability you can read about int the Second Edition of the Nobles And Certain Death book page 173. According to the table I got to flip 3 coins and throw 3 dices. After doing so the table shows me that the King now has demanded 5 Rings made out of snailbone.If the demand is meet the player who gave him the rings will get to pick a reward from page 143. Also those who fail to meet demand befor 1 player has it will get a random punishment form the table on page 176.</STRONG>
Snailbone, the king says? As snails have no bones, and only shells, that would normally be quite difficult. However, my ally controls the trade depot, and through that the import agreements as per the Area Bonuses List, which has been part of Tacticus since the time before time. As we are all aware, the trade depot can be used to bring materials and goods, such as red sand blocks, that normally cannot be made. As such, under the combined power of the Item Substitution Codes, the ruling that time is, in fact, money, and the instantaneous nature of sacrifice, I'm going to trade 12 of my Ranger's bolts for 6 coins, a tame cat, and five snailbone rings, then transmute those coins into turns. My cat, who adopts Skeeblix's western axedwarf, picks up all five rings and runs to the king, thus satisfying his demand.
At the same time, I engage the rule of consecutive alignments, which you may remember from page one of this thread, causing Skeeblix to be the player who turned in the rings as the cat now belongs to Skeeblix, netting me .8 points and a woodcutter, who is located in the carpenter's workshop. As Skeeblix and I are allies, choice of bonus will affect me as well.
quote:
Originally posted by Blargh:
<STRONG>
anyone have the "Peculiar Language Translation" booklet that came with the 3rd edition expansion pack, "Weird goats and other rules"?It says "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn". And there seems to be a really deep rumbling coming from OH gosh darnit, my miner has just gone insane. Drat and bebother it! He's starting some kind of ritual.
</STRONG>
Well, I don't have that exact expansion, but I do have Extradimensional Monstrosities and You, which indicates that we have exactly 3.14159265 turns before the ritual is complete.
Also, as this is a new board, we must remember that we have two turns until the elves arrive anew. Just becasue we reset the board doesn't mean we reset the basic Pantshelm Rules.
Ranger: Hey, I can trade these bolt for other things! Hello kitty!
Cat: Meow. Meow meow meow mew. Hssssssss.
Woodcutter: I have an axe!
[ November 12, 2007: Message edited by: Dwarven Malcolite ]
[ November 12, 2007: Message edited by: Dwarven Malcolite ]
quote:
Originally posted by Sylverone:
<STRONG>Fenrir: Tacticus can be a challenging game. Just pretend you know the rules and in accordance with Appendix E of the Emergency Rulebook of Anti-Confusion, if you pretend that you understand the rules and that you know what's going on, it is assumed that your moves are legal by default.</STRONG>
[ November 12, 2007: Message edited by: Fenrir ]
{edit}
in light of recent developments includeing the change in my name and description there is now a living jello in play (rule #1973 edition 22 "all players who are a jello cube count as there own unit")
[ November 12, 2007: Message edited by: Gulfd'An ]
quote:
If the demand is meet the player who gave him the rings will get to pick a reward from page 143. Also those who fail to meet demand befor 1 player has it will get a random punishment form the table on page 176.
Damnit, beaten to the punch. Oh well. I fail to procure 5 snailbone rings in time, and must get a random punishment from table 2-4 on page 176. HOWEVER, as I currently have no units in play, I am affected by the exception in Rule 34, which I interpret to mean that I can get off for free on this one.
I admit, things are looking kind of dim for me at the moment, but I still have an ace up my sleeve. I play this card and collect my winnings, as well as licking my elbow for the special agility bonus, netting me a total of 46 points. As per rule EA1 (Emergency Action 1), "when a player is left with no units or left with less than 3 hoary marmots, he may immediately buy items and units spending not more than 50 points, immedately upon ending his turn. Any units purchased in this manner are allowed one move, as long as it is not an attack, nor squatting on the potty."
Therefore, I spend 20 points and purchase 100 felsite thongs which I promptly stuff in my insane miner's face, causing him to choke and die from blodloss. Naturally.
With my remaining points I purchase a Wizard mounted on a Giant Cave Spider and position him in the forest, where I order him to begin carving the image of porkrinds menacing with spikes of saturated fat into the trunk of each and every tree while exclaiming "The goggles, they do nothing!"
Insane Miner: "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cth* GAAAH the HORROR, NO NO Numhfgh... *wetly gurgling exhalation*
Giant Cave Spider Mount: "I'm awesome! Err, I mean, *hiss*"
Wizard: "The goggles, they do nothing!" *carving noises*
That should teach those elves. Also, I'm hoping the miner didn't have time to finish that ritual. Guess we'll have to wait... But that would be under the purview of the Random Events Referee, and I don't know where he's at.
Instead I'll invoke the "Presence of Absence" rule and fill in as substitute Random Events Referee for now ("...until the primary Random Events Referee returns, dead, undead or alive, or a new primary Random Events Referee is chosen by a 84/149th majority of all players in Utah").
I will now resolve outstanding Random Events:
*rolls dice*
Blargh: You Miner has managed to complete the ritual but fumbled his pronunciation roll due to the er... objects... lodged in his throat. Strange mist starts pouring out of the mineshaft.
Dwarven Malcolite: I have consulted the appropriate reward table for non-dwarven characters on page 143 and your cat has the choice of the following rewards: A *carpbone thong*, a *spidersilk yarnball*, an =obsidian toydwarf= or a live !!lungfish!!.
Weather events: It starts raining.
Finally a Philosopher will arrive next turn and join the player who has the least amount of dwarven ale.
[ November 12, 2007: Message edited by: CharonX ]
I bring my UltraBanker into play (thanks for clearing that up, Dwarven Malcolite) in an unknown location. I am allowed to do this because of my situation, which I will explain:
As obvious by my last blunder, I did not realize that the physical playing field itself had changed. As per such, my units (my UltraBanker and three nonexistent billy goat colossi) gain the advantage of both a Field of Protective Ignorance, and 5 Quanta-Positional Uncertainty counters each, granting them complete invisibility until they are directly observed, and granting them pseudo-invulnerability until I know enough about the current map to continue active play. Naturally the result of this is that I can not carry out any further actions that would have any certain result, as explained in "Shrodinger's Book of Tacticus", which... *rolls a die with 50-50 chance* DOES exist in this game.
Since rule 2 is now active, I must point out that although my move does not bring me any closer to winning, it is impossible for me to lose because of the quantum state of my current units, added with my permanent ownership of the adamantine artifact spoon, which I'll now refer to as the Limbo Spoon.
Commentary:
[quantum] UltraBanker: I may or may not understand what's going on. I wish someone would look at me so I cold figure out which...
[ November 13, 2007: Message edited by: Sylverone ]
I place two miners riding a dragon in the chasm. I place 3 (totaling 6) Unicorns in the forest. I then place 2 Elephants next to the lake and 2 carp in the river. I then use the rule "Dig! Dig! Dig to the depths!" to give my carp the ability to dig and I set them to work on an underwater fortress.
Commentary:
All 10 units: Wha? Where'd we come from? Where are we?
Dragon: RRROOOOAAARRR!!!
Carp: Glub, glub, *I wish I was eating Dwarf right now*
*carps can dig now*
Carp: Glubbble glub glub *Let's make an underwater Fortress!*
I then end my turn.
In deed, a strange mist IS pouring out of the mineshaft even as we speak, and there seems to be something emerging from the cavern. OH DEAR GOD! It's... hideous! It seems to be some kind of humanoid, though it is clearly a monster. It's head is... an octopus? Really? It has scaly, strangely draconian wings and a blotchy, fish-like skin. And the eyes, oh... the eyes... They speak of untold destruction, of aeons upon aeons of unmitigated hunger fed by endless slaughter. This being revels in the blood of the innocent, feeds on mortal souls, and it cannot, CANNOT DIE! THIS IS THE END! FLEE, FLEE for your lives!
Hey, wait a second. It's only 2 feet tall?
Oh, my bad. It seems my miner garbled some words during the ritual. According to its nametag, this is Dr. Cthulittle. And it appears to be befriending random vermin by chittering softly to them. Huh. I guess we're out of the woods.
My Wizard, however, is certainly not out of the woods. He is most certainly in there, which gives me a + 10 arboreal bonus to my Charisma score for 1d4 rounds, as per section 12b of the "Arbitrary rules that rule" expansion ruleset for 3rd edition Pantshelm.
This allows me to recruit an accountant, which I promptly order to commence auditing every player on the board, in accordance with the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) rules on tax evasion. Of course, you've all remembered to pay income tax for every point you've received, right? Right? Mehehehehehehe...
Dr Cthulittle: *chirp*
Accountant: "Carry the five *ka-ching* ooh, deficit, mmm fraudulent deduction."
With my remaining points I buy a level 18 4 strength 4 stam leather belt? Hee-haw.
*Rolls several dice*
Oh no! My sub-terranean kobolds just turned into plump helmets!
Meanwhile I decide to spend the points I now have from skipping my last turn to gain control over the small wild strawberry field next to the river. There are total of 67 wild strawberries in the field. Any creature venturing too close to the field will be bitten for (The amount of strawberries in the field)d2 damage, in this case 67d2. The controller of the creature in question will also have to roll dice to see if the bite was especially dangerous according to the "Argh, It Bit Me!" table, included in the original 4th edition book of Tacticus (I know people will complain about the table being unfair, but its usage wasn't forbidden at the start of the game).
Controlling:
99 invalid kobolds on Z-Level -43 -> Now 99 Plump Helmets on Z-Level -43.
67 Surprisingly Aggressive Wild Strawberries located next to the river.
Extra commentary:
Ex-Kobolds: ...
Strawberries: ...
[ November 13, 2007: Message edited by: Jusal ]
I sell my starting anvil and buy Fale Siegedriven, armed and armored fully in bronze armor with a copper shortsword and 50 swordkobolds with regular clothing and copper shortswords. Also, in accordance with rule K.1464896, or "What happens when Fale Siegedriven is summoned." Fale give a 10+ Morale bonus to all of her kobolds. However, it will unfortunately have the side-effect of taking her and her army three (3) turns to get to the playing field. This is negated if the elves arrive before her, in accordance with rule J.3127 as she will follow them into the field because they are more tolerant of "lesser" species and allowed her to follow.
EDIT: I have noticed a contradiction in the fact that the elves will always arrive before Fale and her army, so it will take 3 turns, plus 1 for failing to notice that.
[ November 13, 2007: Message edited by: Xotes ]
[ November 13, 2007: Message edited by: Xotes ]
Results:
27 --> Human Merchant Representative, 2 Human Bodyguards (Swordsmen)
pi squared --> an irrational number of rhesus macaques
As a reminder, the behaviors of these entities are covered in Diagram 34, "Things that do various Things". The Human Trade Representative immediately attempts to locate the dwarven Broker. If there is no broker, the Human Merchant Representative wanders randomly, but is required to stay in areas judged to cause the greatest number of pathing issues possible. If no broker can be found after 4 turns, the Human Trade Representative goes insane and is killed by his own bodyguards, who then return to the capital, collect their pay, and tell the human king that the dwarves killed the trade representative. Humans may invade starting 4 turns later.
The irrational number of rhesus macaques are required to steal an irrational number of =granite flutes= and then run off the map.
Since neither of those units are actually under my control, I select a group of entities from the Further Expounded Random Entity Table of cupidity < 5. I pick a goblin thief (cupidity .05) and a fairy with one deformed big toe (cupidity 4.95). The goblin thief is in the woods and thus gains a +5 cover bonus but receives a -5 "trees make my head ache" bonus. The fairy is in the strawberry patch but is immune to bites (rule 7992.1A from the Expandable Expendable Errata, "...vermin of a good nature (i.e. fairies) are immune to bites from surprisingly aggressive fruits, considering that they are already quite fruity themselves." 2 points are awarded to the owner of the strawberry patch due to the fairy dust bonus.
Commentary:
Human Trade Representative (in the mountain): "Hullo, where's the broker? Oh, there's no broker? You don't mind me standing here blocking the entrance to your coal-mining operations, do you?"
Irrational number of rhesus macaques (edge of map, location B5): "Scree scree scree + sqrt(2)*scree"
Goblin thief (woods): "Urgh urf. Where tasty dwarf child? Urf urgh."
Fairy (strawberry field): "I feel pretty... oh so pretty... I feel pretty, and witty, and gay!"
(I encourage you to continue the map if you find it a nice idea.)
code:
xxxxxxxxxx
xxxxx....x
xxxx~~++.. Legend:
xxxxFF~~~.
xxxxxxxxx~ x = Currently Unmapped
xxxxxxxxxx . = Plain
xxxxxxxxxx ~ = Water (river)
xxxxxxxxxx F = Forest
xxxxxxxxxx + = Wild strawberries
xxxxxxxxxx
quote:
Originally posted by Jusal:
<STRONG>I hereby spend one of my fairy dust points to request the other players to add the rest of the more important features of the battlefield to the everchanging ASCII map (below) of the area as in rule 5542c9 under "Things To Make The Gamesystem Even Easier To Exploit".(I encourage you to continue the map if you find it a nice idea.)
code:</STRONG>
xxxxxxxxxx
xxxxx....x
xxxx~~++.. Legend:
xxxxFF~~~.
xxxxxxxxx~ x = Currently Unmapped
xxxxxxxxxx . = Plain
xxxxxxxxxx ~ = Water (river)
xxxxxxxxxx F = Forest
xxxxxxxxxx + = Wild strawberries
xxxxxxxxxx
quote:
Of course, that doesn't preclude a small amount of informal organization in which to experience the game, such as "unless the Complete Rules of Tacticus, New Expanded Revised Pantshelm Edition, instruct otherwise, the starter of the game is the one who keeps track of what the hell is going on for everyone else's benefit" or "once the starter of the game informs everyone what the hell went on the previous turn or other period of time-space-dwarfdom specified in the Complete Rules of Tacticus, New Expanded Revised Pantshelm Edition, everything else going on prior to that is what the hell is going on the next turn or other period of time-space-dwarfdom".
quote:
Originally posted by Fenrir:
<STRONG>Certainly this is a job for the first player.</STRONG>
If they so wish. I thought about letting everyone who is playing contribute.
quote:
Originally posted by Jusal:
<STRONG>If they so wish. I thought about letting everyone who is playing contribute.</STRONG>
You might need a magnifying glass though.
It then flies up one Z-level and remains there for the rest of my turn.
Wait. I only have 25 ninjas! And what's with the *gold ring* on the new one?
Anyways, the dwarves finished the tower, which was just one floor tall and thus isn't really a tower at all. I tell the dwarves to start farming wild strawberries.
Lastly, I spend the 100 points on a flying elf elephant dragon carp. I give him the artifact adamantine longsword.
As an entering Lurker, I Arbitrarily administer the articles concerning alliterative titles and their ensuing consequences - All players must now take an alliterative title, and accept the consequences of said title.
I for one take the title of "Illuminated Illuvitar, the ispiringly insipid imp" and accept the consequence of owning everything in any way related to top, middle or bottom earth, including 49% of a certain undead ghost-ninjah that happens to be an elf. With ninja stars.
However, as it's location is still unknown, the ninja gains the intrinsic ability to exist anywhere, at any time, and because of the heisenburg uncertainty principle, as his location is unknown his speed may be ascertained, which is equal to warp e. Warp has it's own problems... Specifically, as the star trek universe cannot co-exist with the dwarf fortress one, and the DF universe is rather more applicable in this situation, warp does not exist. Because warp speeds are greater than the speed of light, the ninja has it's speed parsed down to light's and because of special relativity, time is at a standstill for the ninja and it cannot decide where to go with ti's infinite speed. However, if time EVER starts again it is sure to flip out and kill EVERYTHING, effectively murdering all non-undead in play.
As a joining player, I also introduce my new power-broker to Dr. Cthulittle and propose an alliance in exchange for his unswerving serfdom.
In addition, I will give my powerbroker the alternative title of "powerborker" in the event that he deserves it.
This title has been decided in the most fair way possible, namely the magnificent typo.
As you can see, the human trade representative will eventually find my powerbroker/powerborker, and so no human invasion eventually arrives. When the twain meet, I will decide on the importance (and therefore multiplier on cost) of importing new items into the play area.
(this may seem heavy-handed, but such costs were arbitrary to begin with. such is dak)
I realize that I have not specified the source of these rules, which all (except the titles, whose source should be obvious) stem from the fundamental universe that has given rise to the grand game of tacticus.
Question: Do I get points for owning a possibly greater ring of power in the ownership of an infinitely indecisive ninja? As i only own 49% of the ninja, which owns the ring itself (which owns 49% of the ninja), I only get 49% of said points, if I even get them.
[ November 13, 2007: Message edited by: MindSnap ]
quote:
Originally posted by CharonX:
<STRONG>
Dwarven Malcolite: I have consulted the appropriate reward table for non-dwarven characters on page 143 and your cat has the choice of the following rewards: A *carpbone thong*, a *spidersilk yarnball*, an =obsidian toydwarf= or a live !!lungfish!!.
[ November 12, 2007: Message edited by: CharonX ]</STRONG>
You missed the fact that I ceded the cat to my ally. Although, since in the interim the cat is on its own, it can, and does, chose to activate the special index table linked to by the entry on what to do if the claiming character is non-player controlled, which allows it to combine the rewards. As such, the Cat is now the proud owner of a *Live Carpsilk Yarndwarf*
I'm sure that the cat and its new pet will soon do something interesting.
In the meantime, The map is missing my ballista. As such, I invoke the Law of Unconfirmed Locations, and declare that the ballista is in a position such that it can be fired at the accountant, hopefully removing him from the game while he attempts to figure out what tax codes apply to a rapidly oncoming Iron Bolt. This is, of course, in full accordance with the Uncertainty Principles outlined above.
After firing the weapon, the Ranger shall !!ignite!! the ballista, then go into ambush mode and sneak towards the goblin towers. Didn't we notice the goblin towers located a mere half-screen away?
Also, I order my woodcutter to start the production of Wooden Weapons. This is a legal choice, as decreed by the 659 Games of The Ironbay Abbey-Trials of Garters, where it was decided that if part of the option could be obstructed to form a new option, the new option could be built. We'll see what he comes up with in a few turns.
Finally, I spend .4 of my points to cast mass !!ignite!! on all blood on the map, which are now !!blood!! This move is based off the notorious Golden Tablesalted The Crystal Councils of Toga defense, which was instrumental in the victory of Urist Cableclaws the Shining Tigerforge over all comers at Leanforged, a cave, in 1023. Let us see how that turns out, shall we?
Oh, and per he articles concerning alliterative titles and their ensuing consequences I adopt the alliterative moniker of Crazy Cultist Calling Crafty Cats; Caves can count canny camels. This allows me to influence the minds of any cultist on the field, including those of the small vermin joining the multidimensional 2 foot horror. Sadly, I lack the points to do so at this time. The title also causes all camel cheese to rot the moment it gets on the map unless within a natural cavern. It may also render me and my units immune to felines but cause them to suffer allergic reactions of various intensities.
Cat: Mew? Mew!
Ranger: Fire! !!Fire!! Hey, goblin towers! I think I'll explore and see if I can find any trinkets lying around...
Woodcutter: I think I'll construct a wooden weapon -----. With my Axe! x112.92
Blood: Silently burns.
Currently In Control of:
1 Sneaking Ranger
1 Woodcutter, currently carving.
1 Iron Ballista Bolt flying towards the accountant at high speeds
a !!Oaken Ballista!!
the carpenter's workshop
.4 points
not my sanity, sadly.
[ November 13, 2007: Message edited by: Dwarven Malcolite ]
[ November 13, 2007: Message edited by: Dwarven Malcolite ]
quote:
Originally posted by Vengeful Donut:
<STRONG>Question: are we allowing the expansion to first edition entitled "The Ambiguous Self-referencing Meta-rules of Tacticus"? Many of the tacticus games I've played have banned this book because it led to too many fights over rule interpretations, so I want to be sure we're allowing it before I cite anything from it.</STRONG>
quote:
Originally posted by Fenrir:
<STRONG>
Where'd you get a copy of that?! I didn't think merchants carried that volume anymore.</STRONG>
Now you're learning.
I've just spent 30 minutes writing a very good turn, however, my browser crashed and I lost everything as I was writing THE FINAL SENTENCE.
Therefore, I submit my forfiture in a state of rage, and invoke Rule 11-B/11-C subsection alpha "The rule of Ultimate Assumption". By this rule I am assumed to have achieved no less than second place, possibly first at the conclusion of this game of Tacticus.
Now it's only a matter of if games of Tacticus are ever concluded.
quote:
Originally posted by Blargh:
<STRONG>
I've just spent 30 minutes writing a very good turn, however, my browser crashed and I lost everything as I was writing THE FINAL SENTENCE.</STRONG>
Ouch. I feel your pain. I find this forum's posting areas to be difficult to write in, so if I'm writing a large post I use notepad, or even word to spellcheck.
Are Blarg's assets now dealt with by the "up for grabs", "autonomous" or "auction" rules as per version 8's "player loss" section? (say what you will, but version 8 had solid conflict resolution and player loss rules(as in blood loss, not losing))
That also kind of puts a damper on an otherwise extremely lively game.
Said dwarf is a hammerdwarf, and takes control of the trade depot to pre-empt anyone elso stealing it first. However, this delays my kobold army AGAIN by another turn, as they all fall down various holes and spend said turn climbing out.
[ November 13, 2007: Message edited by: Xotes ]
I choose the Banhammer, which automatically inflicts a mangle on any flaming objects it hits, at the cost of removing the fire from that object. It also has the effect of making all Trolls now ignite objects when either raging or throwing things.
Citing the Oversilk Decision in the Third Masterwork Tournament of Oventurnip Round 83: Day 207, this also means that anything hit by an object thrown by a Troll to ignite to such a degree that it will take an amount of board resets equal to the absolute value of the difference of ninja and non-ninja units at the time of ignition before the flames go out. However, if the number of undead are greater than the total number of ninja and non-undead non-ninja units, then all ninja are instead ignited.
However, I must query as to use of the "!!My Board is on Fire!!" rule found on page 287.93 in the "Lava, Magma, and You" supplement. If that applied, then setting the ninja on fire in this manner means that the ninja lose their sneaking abilities but instead ignite anything within 2 spaces of them or even targeted by one of their ranged attacks. However, if we choose to ignore it, then that means that Magma Men can gain sneaking abilities of Ninja if the Magma Man kills the Ninja without either touching the other.
I conclude my turn by giving my Hammerdwarf 2 wineskins and 4 Horse Meat Roasts, thus granting him immunity to elven snideness until he is struck by an arrow (on account of him not possessing anything made of wood, if struck by an arrow then the "Injuries and Ammunition" rule in "How to Benefit From an Idiot Military" comes into play and I possess that arrow, which is made of wood).
Also, I request a ruling on the Grand Vizer decision of 326.
As my opening move the dragon using the "basic actions noone thinks of" clause eats the cake. And using the "Quotes that I don't know the origin of" rule on page two of this pack of post it notes, the caek is a lie. The dragon gets sucked into a black hole created by the non-existant caek and is removed from play. The Black hole collapses before doing further harm.
I also invoke the "Greiger hasn't had his Dr Pepper" rule giving me (2/1¼-3)*0 points per typo or grammatical error. I end my turn.
Beat that.
EDIT: As for my move, I'll play next game. There's just too much going on already to keep track.
[ November 14, 2007: Message edited by: Fenrir ]
Anyways, I send my flying elf elephant dragon carp to cut the ring off of the ninja's finger, and I then give the 9-fingered ninja to Mindsnap. I herby get total ownership of the ring and half of the points, whereas you get the other half of the points and the ninja.
The dwarves have just discovered a lone ore of adamantine on Z-2. This is amazing! Also, the weaponsmith entered a secretive mood. Thankfully, he just needed a metalsmith forge. Let's see what we get.
oh my.... it seems Stan the over sized flood gate has just crushed my mule and his minions... it is now named "Stan martyr of Manhattan" and because of his size has taken over the grove and surrounding areas just by appearing.
i end my turn and will wait till i have enough points to use "the special thing" referred to in "tacticus for dummies (and owners of large flood gates named Stan martyr of Manhattan)"
quote:
Originally posted by Bingbing:
<STRONG>Reply to Query: It doesn't matter how invisible you are if people can see your shadow. </STRONG>
quote:
Originally posted by Gulfd'An:
<STRONG>so we will conclude it with: invisible meen "bending light" and any other forms
cast a shadow so don't work thus invisible meens "bending light"</STRONG>
This is a Dwarven cheese. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It meneces with spikes of dwarven milk and studded with purring maggot and mold. On the item is an image of cheese in cheese. The cheese is rolling.
My newly formed mass of artifact cheese starts to roll downhill toward the trade depot.
Also, I quickly propose an alliance with Grek and will wait until it is either accepted or declined. You get half o' my kobold army if you do.
[ November 14, 2007: Message edited by: Xotes ]
Anyway, all we have to do is consult the Version 3 handbook and see howe to solve this.
Rule 3 Section 5, first paragraph: "If an arguement can't be concluded safely, the person with the first letter of their name closest to A wins the arguement by default."
You still get half the points and the ninja.
Dwarven Malcolite: Apologies, I must have missed the transfer of control (I blame the browser for eating my initial post). Anyway, the *Live Carpsilk Yarndwarf* spawns next to the cat, directly under the cat's control. The Yarndwarf looks rather confused, and menaces with spikes of beard.
In addtion, the Philosopher arrives. As we have a tie in the dwarven ale category he decides to join... *die roll* Bingbing. Congratulations.
He immediately mandates the production of 53 Wagonleather speedos. (Pantshelm legacy rules still in effect, I'm afraid. Page 462, Section 3a "All nobles generate ludicus mandates and demands upon arrival") Also he'd like a big keg of dwarven ale, and not that horrible bubbly elf-brewed stuff, thank you very much.
Furthermore all that summoning has worn reality rather thin ("...causes a loss of 0.12 realities per summoned creature, double the amount for outlanders, elder gods and dragons..."), so random chunks of brimstone now spontaneously materialize on various z-levels, dropping down and forming boulders.
Finally, the Weather: It is still raining. Blood. Burning Blood. (According to my chart the weather has now reached almost 0.74 Londons)
[ November 14, 2007: Message edited by: CharonX ]
quote:
Also, I quickly propose an alliance with Grek and will wait until it is either accepted or declined. You get half o' my kobold army if you do.
Accepted.
Wait. Why is he demanding 9 silver rings?
Whatever. I tell my dwarves to make the rings via the silver vein near the volcano the philospher oddly named "Mount Doom".
As for the beer, I give him 2 barrels from it.
I think that isn't a Greater Ring of Invisibility. Maybe one of those Master Rings of Invisibility or maybe even a Minor Ring of Power.
[ November 20, 2007: Message edited by: Armok ]
My king levitates, summons four gremlins on triangle 45a, and ends his turn.
Commentary:
Adamantite King: Kumbayaaaaaa.
Gremlins: Snork!
floodgate (stan): chant chant chant chant
greater molochs: chant chant chant *rampage and/or kill everything in a druid like maner*
The spinning gamma rays strike the gaming board!
Everybody gets cancer.
(Whips out a clear glass bottle with liquid inside it.)
THESE ARE CHUCK NORRIS' TEARS!
:o
[ January 29, 2008: Message edited by: Red Jackard ]
As I have now used 300 + 4 * 100 = 700 points, this still leaves me 300 points on my first turn, of which I use 150 points to create a "point blank" in the middle of the map and store the rest of the points there for later use.
I also use my first turn extra initiative to spawn a goblin spearman on the other side of the map, triggering a siege and scoring me 500 more points, which, too, are stored.
*A vile force of darkness has arrived!*
Dwarf: Damn, who're they?
Drunk: IT HAS COME.
Also, you may wish to note that, as my dwarf has no gear, I can, at will, invoke rule 1547 ("Clothmadness") of beforementioned book, making all other military dwarves on any, existing or non-existing, maps to enter either a berserk rage or tear off their clothes and run about, babbling.
[ January 29, 2008: Message edited by: Dwarfaholic ]
With the rise of the Second Set Handbook, which is where the brilliant Urist Anusitches maneuver originated, the canon rules of First Edition became completely pointless.
The new turn order calculations and more specifically, the recharting of the damage tables made Tacticus a completely different game.
I'll lead with 16 skeletal carp outside the main entranceway positioned for Maxwell's Opening Sequence.
At any rate, hats off to your excellent starting play.
I invoke Clause 117 of Pantshelm ruleset and take the time to reinforce my skelecarps with an additional 5 goblin swordsmen. 6 of my carp move into The Semicircular Distraction formation, and the rest flop about menacingly.
I move my kobold to the local ammo stockpile while my dwarves and goblins mill about aimlessly.
The resulting massacre nets be enough Blood Points to open a chasm into Xotes' starting area, dropping his troops into it.
Yes, this might cause Godly Anger (same book, rule 16.2), but I net more than enough points to counter any effects, barring of course "Vocal discord", but that never happens anyways.
EDIT: Wait a minute... skelecarp? Damn! I wish I had saved my points for later...
[ February 07, 2008: Message edited by: Dwarfaholic ]
Are we playing by the classic Pantshelm ruleset or the postponed Pantshelm ruleset?
Also, as my keyboard is revolting, it would seem that there is indeed a Vocal Discord.
Thank Armok for postponed ruleset! I buy an antman and make him eat some dirt, thus triggering the "Bites dust" rule (2.47, Buildings and Critters ruleset, version 1987) and avoiding the Discord... for now.
All other players, on the other hand, are fully affected.
This can't die! Please?
quote:
Originally posted by Rondol:
<STRONG>]It seems we are using Pantsheim rules, which clearly state that we make up rules as we go along, and no rule can contradict any other rule.</STRONG>
Going with this...
I play Pi, from rule 3.14159265, which allows me to summon 2 !!LOGICAL PARADOX!!es and a glowing pit. However, it states that I am unable to use adamantine.
Well, thanks to the Vocal Discord, which is in play, you summon some !!PLUMP HELMET IN A BOX!! instead.
Now, if we only had some elves...
I use all my points to buy zombie ninja pirates. Then I send them at a random target player (myself not included).
quote:
Originally posted by Dwarfaholic:
<STRONG>So, a !!LOGICAL PARADOX!!, eh?Well, thanks to the Vocal Discord, which is in play, you summon some !!PLUMP HELMET IN A BOX!! instead.
Now, if we only had some elves...</STRONG>
Aha! But this disturbs my glowing pit, and 20 spirits of fire come into my possession.
This allows me to multiply my amount of starting anvils by the amount of spirits of fire present, 20 in this case.
This allows me to sell all twenty of my anvils, and purchase a ponarda of T-rex, all armed with rayon meta-beam rifles, and they are all proficient in their use. I deploy said units at the glowing pit, and begin to lay waste to the spirits of fire therein.
I sack five of my rexes to put a Saline Barbed Cucumber Cannon in play on the border of the forest, and prime it to fire on any elves emerging from within.
[ February 14, 2008: Message edited by: Armok ]
quote:
Originally posted by Father Dagon:
<STRONG>After consulting the Freshly Arrived Latemin Handbook, page 132, paragraph 2, I invoke the Multiplicity Anvil Principle which can be brought to bear when there are 10 or more spirits of fire present within any of the following pit types: smoking, dark, glowing, or vegetarian.This allows me to multiply my amount of starting anvils by the amount of spirits of fire present, 20 in this case.
This allows me to sell all twenty of my anvils, and purchase a ponarda of T-rex, all armed with rayon meta-beam rifles, and they are all proficient in their use. I deploy said units at the glowing pit, and begin to lay waste to the spirits of fire therein.</STRONG>
Aha! But I invoke Fire Defense, in which if more than 15 anvils leave the area via trade at a time, my spirits of fire are invincible for a short time, which I use to dispatch your T-rexes.
All fire spirits become blue sheep with caster wheel feet.
quote:
Originally posted by Father Dagon:
<STRONG>Alright, things are looking bad for me. I'm going to have to go for the gusto and use the Kingcumber Kannon gambit. I didn't want to do this, as the risk is huge, but I have little other choice.All fire spirits become blue sheep with caster wheel feet.</STRONG>
Actually, blue sheep are more powerful than fire demons when used correctly. The only disadvantage is that caster wheel feet require them to be moved manually.
I activate Technicolor, which makes my blue sheep into rainbow sheep, which then learn Color Blast as a ranged attack. I also recieve an immigrant wave and assign them to my rainbow sheep.
My Saline Barbed Cucumber Cannon, since the Kingcumber Kannon gambit is in play, is able to absorb the gibs left over by the immigrants and convert them into Spacebux, 1000 a piece. I use my new funds to put the battleship Gaelen Gea Geros into play hovering 2000 ft above the kitchen.
quote:
Originally posted by Father Dagon:
<STRONG>AH, but you forgot! If you check the 23rd Edition Immigrant Regulations rulebook, page one, in big, red, bold type, Captain Ironblood automatically and messily "deports" all immigrants as soon as they arrive on the field, assuming he has a full stomach. And we all know how filling crumpets can be.</STRONG>
This is only if he is in play. As he was never put in, this rule cannot be used.
quote:
Originally posted by Armok:
<STRONG>I play a kitchen, and my ratman spy make ¤delicious crumpets¤.
This causes a type !!FREEKIN AWESOME!! exception and summons Captain Ironblood at my command.
Ironblood consumes the crumpets.[ February 14, 2008: Message edited by: Armok ]</STRONG>
He IS in play, and full of crumpets.
EDIT: fixed a typo
[ February 17, 2008: Message edited by: Father Dagon ]
quote:
Originally posted by Father Dagon:
<STRONG>Is this before or after he gibs all the immigrants?EDIT: fixed a typo
[ February 17, 2008: Message edited by: Father Dagon ]</STRONG>
Before. He disappeared the second he was summoned.
EDIT : Rule clarification
[ February 17, 2008: Message edited by: Istrian ]
quote:
Originally posted by Squeegy:
<STRONG>I position my rainbow sheep and activate Color Blast, which blows your demon into sparkly bits.</STRONG>
"If at any point a Saline Barbed Cucumber Cannon is destroyed with a single strike, the controlling player may receive for free and put into play the Three(3) Fates; Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos. He also gets a big ass tank."
I play the three sisters upon the tank, who immediately begin to fire lasers out of their crystal eye, turning numerous colored sheep into dark brown smoke.
I hereby invoke my 'Casual Observer's Directive', and enter the following into this TACTICUS, effective immediately:
The Rule Addendum of Armok, added by regional Pantselm council meeting 38a, dictates that Armok, God of Blood, is significantly less pleased with death that doesn't involve blood, and invokes an inverse penalty on all violent, non-bladed non-melee weapons, as well as magic above the realm level 2.
And I'd like to remind you that the Meadhall Phase activates in two turns; as usual, a dwarven baron will appear, and judge the cooking of all opposing sides. As always, commanders at the feast will be expected to publicly distribute mini-toy-forges and other treasures to their followers, or face an immediate 25% drop in morale, with corresponding risk of defection to more generous patrons. Excelling gifts made of... Bauxite, as determined by the Random Gift Material Table, will grant a labor and jogging bonus, as well as 2 points and a Brass Sceptre.
quote:
Originally posted by Whiskey_Ninja:
<STRONG>
And I'd like to remind you that the Meadhall Phase activates in two turns; as usual, a dwarven baron will appear, and judge the cooking of all opposing sides. As always, commanders at the feast will be expected to publicly distribute mini-toy-forges and other treasures to their followers, or face an immediate 25% drop in morale, with corresponding risk of defection to more generous patrons. Excelling gifts made of... Bauxite, as determined by the Random Gift Material Table, will grant a labor and jogging bonus, as well as 2 points and a Brass Sceptre.</STRONG>
You seem to have forgotten the secret ingredient. However, given the circumstances, the prizes, the judge, and the races, it seems the only available option is elf meat that menaces with spikes of calcite.
On a completly unrelated note, I'm going to utilize the Principle of Long-Term Plans, which allow me to keep my ranger that I had back in '07. This also allows me to retain my .04 points and my speeding ballista bolt, which is now three levels above ground and as such should fall harmlessly to the ground in about 2 turns. I still lack my sanity.
Given that, I order my Ranger, who is still sneaking (which is made even more effective by the darkness covering the battlefield), to fire a bolt or fifty at the sound or orangutans. I'm sure you can see what this leads to. (Bolts, by the way, are bladed weapons that deal damage at close range. The Crossbow may be ranged, but the bolts are melee, as established in the official Council of Currantspines errata to the The Rule Addendum of Armok.)
As a final note, as the Crazy Cultist Calling Crafty Cats; Caves can count canny camels, a title I retain through the use of the Permanent Reputation Bylaws, I can, as stated earlier, command cultists. As it happens, the three Fates are integral parts of the Cult of the Ancient Greeks. As such, I now utilize the thirteen points I earned during the course of my moves to influence the Fates into thinking that the Tank is not their friend. This should cause them to set the tank !!alight!!, causing an overload of the Resonators and thus the destabilization of the Magma Shaft, with interesting results.
To sum, I currently control one speeding ballistic ballista bolt, one sneaking ranger in the process of firing, and I have set chaos and confusion into the craniums of the Fates.
quote:
Originally posted by WillNZ:
<STRONG>Hmmm... I hate to break up the fun, but I was looking through the Pantshelm rulebook, and it says that the elves arrive in two turns and they're serious about naming each tree. I hope this doesn't interrupt anyone's strategy.</STRONG>
quote:
Originally posted by DuncanFrost:
<STRONG>If there are one or more ballista bolts on the board at once, any transformed, shapeshifted, polymorphed, transmogrified or discombomulated units in play automatically become Legendary Comedians (as stated under the Transformed, Shapeshifted, Polymorphed, Transmogrified or Discombomulated Units, Sector vii, paragraph 2, letter 7, accent 2).</STRONG>
I'm going to apply this same rule. My Ballista bolt is rather discombobulated, as it went from speeding towards an accountant to three levels up. That would confuse anything. As such, my Ballista Bolt is also a legendary comedian. As a result of the natural gain in levels, it gets bonuses to its stats, and by the Angry Trifolding Comittee of Everlasting Rocks Doctrine, my Ballista bolt is now superballitistically touch, Ultra-Mighty, and perfectly agile. This allows it to make a sudden course correction, and adjust its aim up to three-hundred sixty degrees in any direction. Said Bolt makes such a course correction towards the head of the Comedian Operator. Further, as both are legendary comedians, they must both enter into a laughoff. unfortunately, laughoffs cause a cessation of voluntary movement until completed, which takes thirty turns. Luckily, the Ballista bolt's movement is not voluntary. Things look bad for the operator.
On a side note, in accordance with the Akam Codex, Section Three, my Ranger finds three gold coins on the ground. It should be obvious what I plan to do with said coins, at least it should be if you have seen this game fully.
As he falls into the lava whilst being attacked by fire spirits, he gives me a last, wide-eyed, cute look, raising righteous hatred against me by every player either on or off the board.
Suicide, you say.
Tactics, I say.
And with my extra moves I summon great water spirit with the ability of water gyser, I also summon spirit of ice a [MOD] class unit with the ability of
[FIXED_TEMP:0] All water on the map turns to ice, in addition any cold blooded creature on the same square as this one dies instantly.
Unfortunatly the great water spirit is cold blooded. But now it is time for you to fear the spirit of ice!
Atleast as soon as I get him out of this gigantic pillar of ice.
Also, as it is now AD 2101, we must be careful that we do not accidentally cause any time paradoxes by killing off the ancestors of our units...
Finally, I am forced to reveal one of my Long Term Plans: Caturday.
This, as we all should be aware, immediately spawns a number of kittens under each players control, with "each players" defined to mean "any and all players that may ever play in this game" and "immediately" defined as "sometime in the next three turns."
quote:
Originally posted by Father Dagon:
<STRONG>I flip over my face down card on the table, revealing the trap I had set. The card reads as follows:"If at any point a Saline Barbed Cucumber Cannon is destroyed with a single strike, the controlling player may receive for free and put into play the Three(3) Fates; Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos. He also gets a big ass tank."
I play the three sisters upon the tank, who immediately begin to fire lasers out of their crystal eye, turning numerous colored sheep into dark brown smoke.</STRONG>
Aha! But you did not read about the natural defence of rainbow sheep. Since they live in the world of drugs and screwed up things, they have an immunity to lasers. I also turn my rainbow sheep to Defense, which turns their Color Blast into Color Shield, deflecting anything that has color in it (lasers are red).
Much confusion is caused by the scramble to get the pieces back onto the table, and all players have to roll a score of 4 or higher on a 1d8 chance for each of their units to keep them, otherwise that unit joins the independent faction and becomes hostile to all players.
I am otherwise not involved, and continue passing by.
quote:
Originally posted by Kagus:
<STRONG>I trip over a pile of clutter on the floor and careen into the table, knocking the game board and all the pieces on it to the floor, thus defeating all the currently fielded units of every army.
Much confusion is caused by the scramble to get the pieces back onto the table, and all players have to roll a score of 4 or higher on a 1d8 chance for each of their units to keep them, otherwise that unit joins the independent faction and becomes hostile to all players.I am otherwise not involved, and continue passing by.</STRONG>
This means that not only do I get to keep my original units, but I also get to apply this to all of my d8 rolls in the future, should I choose to do so. I also get to spawn a (cave spider silk left sock) covered in *mermaid blood* in the still. This, as we should all know from our copies of Mythological Menaces, permanently causes all alcohol on the map to be transmuted into distilled mermaid blood. Delicious! This also applies to all alcoholic items that in the future enter the map.
Further, it seems that I now have my philosopher, my woodcutter, and my kitten, who returns to me as per the Original Ownership Agreements, and with the kitten a *Live Carpsilk Yarndwarf* that menaces with spikes of beard.
Given that, I get the Legendary Ballista Bolt to find the parents of that annoying Comedian of DuncanFrost and kill them before they reproduce. As a result of this, the Comedian disappears from existence. (remember that the meme sent us back to AD 2101, and games of Tactitus traditionally start in the year AD 2501. Also, note that by the Mandatory Time Travel Tropes, this plan will succeed) Unfortunately, it seems my woodcutter was a halfbrother of the comedian of DuncanFrost, so he too vanishes. With him vanishes the walls and fortifications he built, which happens to be all of them. Oops.
Finally, I once again have .4 points, so I once again cast Mass !!ignite!! on all blood on the field.
quote:
I invoke rule 9001.1/0.*, paragraph -4, which allows me to join the game with a starting bonus of 2500 points. Unfortunately, I am also forced to only start with nobles. Therefore, I will take one Adamantite King, allowing me to summon four gremlins per turn, as per rule 90124.56.3.7, which also gives my king to power to go up or down one z-level per turn.
My king levitates, summons four gremlins on triangle 45a, and ends his turn.
As all previous units have returned to the board, I gain four gremlins and an Adamantite King. Unfortunately, as the meme sent us back in time AND Armok reversed time, this has created a singularity vortex, sucking in all my units and creating a King Quadgremlin, which has a damblock of 7500 and a speed of 1. As this counts as Transmogrification, he also becomes a Legendary Comedian.
I unleash fourteen golden bolts of goo at the Elves, preventing them from entering the board.
quote:
Originally posted by DuncanFrost:
<STRONG>As all previous units have returned to the board, I gain four gremlins and an Adamantite King. Unfortunately, as the meme sent us back in time AND Armok reversed time, this has created a singularity vortex, sucking in all my units and creating a King Quadgremlin, which has a damblock of 7500 and a speed of 1. As this counts as Transmogrification, he also becomes a Legendary Comedian.
I unleash fourteen golden bolts of goo at the Elves, preventing them from entering the board.</STRONG>
(OOC: really, you have actually managed to make a very skillful move in a game whit arbitrary rules, that ought to be impossible per definition!)
... that is, of course, If I get the standard 5 points granted to players entering the game late, as set by the Obscure Panthelom's Plump rule of the 3rd rulebook, unrated edition...
[ February 21, 2008: Message edited by: Bovinepro ]
[ February 21, 2008: Message edited by: Bovinepro ]
The dogs ( the cerbui, not the wardogs ) have a speed of 666, can attack three times a turn, occupy all z- levels but the top one, and are 10 spaces wide. They are completely immune to any and all spells or effects that one might call "denomic" or "evil" since they are evil themselves ; thus invoking the "no homo effecto" rule, making all fire creatures immune to fire, etc.
Lastly I would like to field a legion of flesh eating cows behind by cerubi, thus using my remaining point and ending my turn.
[ February 21, 2008: Message edited by: Bovinepro ]
Oh, and I move my kitten swarm of 86 kittens to coordinates d3, F15, αe.
Without further ado, Most of the rulings used so far:
Pantshelm rules clearly state that we make up rules as we go along, and no rule can contradict any other rule.
Rule 1a (Making Up Rules) should have obvious ramifications
Rule two: "The objective of the game of Tacticus is to win."
The game is to be won with awesomeness, as it clearly states in the opening chapter of rule 1 (a-z).
Recall that all commands from the game of DF can be utilized in Tacticus.
Invoke the "rule of sudden combat ajoinment" to place 300 [[baby domesticated animal]] tokens on the [[direction]] edge of the field.
Under pantsheim new players are immune to alcohol poisoning for four turns, under pantshelm they recieve it at double rate.
Use "Sudden Breeding" to multiply the number of [[creature]] in the [[location]] by sixteen.
If in a cage made out of moldy toenails, one must make a saving throw agaisnt mold or suffer 3 nose damage.
The double blind rule, which makes suicides invoke two bad thoughts, is active.
Mines, Farms, Stills, Dormitory, Workshops, Great Hall, Fortifications, Gate, River, Forest, Treasury, Metalworks -somehow related.
Mild earthquake: Anything standing on the ground is fine. Anything swimming in water didn't notice, anything in a tree has fallen out. If there is a magma shaft (and there always is) anything alive in the magma is feeling motion sick, and the chance of an eruption before the game is over has doubled.
the rule of consecutive alignment: Whenever a kitten or cat adopts, they switch to the team of the adoptee. However, this allows the original controllers to gain control of an equal or lesser value of points/objects/creatures, should they desire.
rule 23a sect. 4-8: all actions are worth -0.8 pts. less than normal when more than 87 kittens are involved.
The elves arrive in two to four turns from the start of a game or round, and they're serious about naming each tree.
If the players are fast enough to fell all the trees before the elves arrive they will be extremely disappointed and start naming plump helmets instead
The blood resulting from attacks on the mascot animal of a site spreads at a steadily increasing rate for the next four years OR 8 dwarves simultaneous get the cleaning job.
the Bronzefaith Gambit: Place a squad of goblin invaders (a mix of swords-, bow- and macegoblins - let's say 10, 4 and 12 respectively) right in the middle of square QA6, Z-level 0. I'm sure you can see where this leads.
A crown, a scepter, a ring and a idol, all of bone: 6 points if constructed on site by one creature.
rule 4042.5, subsection 3c: "Raw Editing Powers" This ability should be self-obvious.
However,according to the "Past Rule Revocation" decision from the 744 World Cup of Tacticus game, all Raw Editing is hereby removed, and further editing is forbidden.
the undermine gambit: suiciding a miner to collapse the [[building]]
The mandatory-partner Crystal Spines rules: Choose an available partner on your next turn for combined score
Anyone who has not made an ally before the elves arrive automatically loses (players joining the game after the elves arrive have a three turn amnestry during which they may form an alliances or they lose the game).
the mandatory partner Crystal Spindes rules, 5th edition version, allow players controlling no units other than dwarves to move dwarf units belonging to an ally once every third turn.
The "free-for-all" option, for 10 players or more, allows attacking on the first turn.
seizing the still nonviolently scores 3 points under most circumstances
the Granite Table maneuver: Whenever a unit flees, all "animals" must cluster around him, so long as there are less than 27 felsite thongs in play, causing the unit in question to bounce around like a pinball. This is triggered by, among other things, woodcutters fleeing from groundhogs near fortifications.
the rumredrumred rumredrumed rumred variation: all units upon appearence on the field become possessed. (not active)
Operation Impossible Anthill allows one to place objects in locations that they normally are not allowed.
the Secret Alliance maneuver allows one to chose a non-Dwarven race, write it somewhere, and not reveal it. In four turns that race will send in 10 CR worth of reinforcements, of the players choosing, unless anyone assaults land they control ) or attempts to attack any of thier in-play units.
Rule 42 of less-than-infinate-unlikelyness allows one to invoke the Michael-Baxter precedence and place a [[color]]-nosed ridge-back scalyfin Dragon whelp carrying [[number less than 50]] felsite thongs at +[[2,5,13,27,83, or 999]] levels above, or in near vicinity to, the [[siege engine of choice]].
Having a carrying capacity of only 25 felsite thongs, the Dragon whelp plummets to the ground if carrying more than 25 felsite thongs, on impact killing a small [[mammal currently on the board]] named [[name]], which yields 1,3 points per felsite thong over the carry limit. Enraged, the remaining [[same mammals]] equip small sharpened sticks and rush to the trees, startling a small pack of amphibious olms, causing a very slow stampede towards the [[occupied location]]. Said stampede will arrive in aproximately 236 turns.
the rule of assumption: Players are assumed to have made a very clever move, multiplying all points for this round by a factor of [[characters involved in the comments plus one]].
catapulting a felsite rock is grounds for the Hoary Marmot Defense...
the Random Noble Arrival rule: a [[random noble]] dwarf arrives at the cages and in 0-3 turns he will make up a demand. This is only available to players who have constructed and thus control a cage.
rule 993-e(9-11) from the 4th edition expansion pack "Dwarven Exhibionism": If a dwarven king arrives on the board, in the event of 2½+ deers overtaking a brewery, he is forced to remove his *Diorite Thong*. This causes 1d3 Ultimate Horror Damage to everything on the gameboard without the [BLIND] tag, and 1d6+1 Horrible Mental Image Damage to anyone unlucky enough to read this post (Unless they are wearing sunglasses).
feed 5 dwarves to his elephant to bring it to defcon level C. Six, defcon level ampersand.
Spikes of while bone? +2 vs aquatics.
Construct "an image of a elephant in cedar. The elephant is striking a menacing pose. On them is an image of giant eagles. The eagles are withering away." to raise an elephant eight defcon levels and set all eagles on fire.
Fey mood a [[rock]] artifact that includes at least four decorations, on of the [[rock]] in [[rock]]? Gain one [[rock]]y artifact point.
A goblin sapper at square [[letter]][[number]], can use Illusory Correlation power to plant a !!spider silk mitten!! 2 tiles away from the [[Building not more than 16 tiles away from placed tile]], forcing all dwarves in the vicinity to go: "Ooh, shiny!" and run to pick it up, causing 1d6 fire damage to the AI.
ridiculous decisions result in a humor-based +3 Morale bonus for the controllers units
Designate ability boost on [[another player's creatures]] to give them legendary +5 [[skill]] .
"Screw Physics" gives all creatures the activator of "Screw Physics controls [FLIER].
section 3000.4 clause XYZ: you can substitute felsite thongs for catapults, but you'd miss out on the +25 Nasty Underwear bonus.
Lick your elbow for an extra agility bonus (one time only, per player, per thread)
Tamed Grues are 45 points
there is a one move window in which one can leave a dark place before the grue gets them.
"well, dirt is kinda like trees" semi-bylaw: Woodcutters can do everything miners can do.
rule 1337 subsection h4-x0r: all non-elves who look at a named tree, the number of which double each turn, spend one turn going saying "WHAT?!?"
undead and/or many headed monsters get -4 morale for refusing to help a multi-headed undead.
Chapter 1, section 57, subsection 2, header II.iv, in the "exceptions" sidebar, under Elephant defcon movement effects, controls elephant movement under defcon levels.
Thrown trees behave as if they were wooden ballista bolts.
invoking the "incremental additions" rule gives the player an increasing number of immigrants each turn starting this turn. The amount increases by once each turn from the roll of a six-sided dice. This rule resets between rounds.
rule 36z, section 8c, subsection 78, paragraph 5 states "all new units (immigrants, creatures, races, etc) who join the battle on the side of one who has added tags (flier, amphibious, etc) are also affected by the tag."
When the new harvest moon is ascendant over the constellation Deaftours the Unkind Purpleness of Fortifying, starting the next turn it is Deathskull Eve and all dwarf corpses and fractions of dwarf corpses should enter play as self-animated undead under the control of the player with the most undead on the board.
Due to the deathskull eve substandard skill allocation rule (revised), animal tamers are also grand master mechanics.
Only undead with skulls count toward total number of undead.
Deathskull eve only effects dwarven pieces.
gravity notices: All creatures under control of [[player]] lose the tag [[FLIER]]. This causes them to fall. If over a chasm, this is fatal. Over other things, maybe, maybe not.
Gravity notices is instantaneous, not ongoing
As per the 3rd edition Pantshelm rules, purchasing a unit on the current turn does not cost any moves.
Ninjas are trained to act independently and have thier own move count.
Renacting a scene from a book, story or movie that another recognizes without having it pointed out to them is worth 5 points.
Any creature wishing to approach extremely ripe cheese must no make a Smell check and a Fortitude check at a DC of 25, or be affected as by Concentrated Miasma, taking 4d6 nose damage and becoming dazed for 2d3 rounds. Undead, Ultra-Tough [[creatures]] and creatures with no nose are immune to this effect.
Rule 76b, section z, subsection Ω, paragraph Φ allows one to secretly place trade requests.
Magma vents provides light to fortresses as per the alternative rules for magma as found in the rulebook Magma Mystique
By 1a, in the event that if at any time anything is dead (undead counts, animated/inanimate objects do not) within the Treasury the entire board is reset, the world is rerolled, and anyone who was in possession of a Toy Axe must type their next four turns entirely in-character.
Rule 117 of Pregame Asset Placement allows for the burial of anything up to and including thermonuclear warheads on the field prior to officially joining a game.
Unknown Bug 72: When a Wilted Plump Helmet is walked over by the gem setter ten times, it transforms into a Beeve.
Unknown Bug 73, Beeves spawn more beeves in every unoccupied square around themselves.
5th edition's relaboring rule (subsection c.5.4) allow one to apply the legendary stat boosts from two out of every three dead fey dwarves one used to control to an equal amount of living ones.
the relaboring rule (subsection f.7.q5) one to allocate the stats to a skill different from the one they gained legendary status in if the products of the original are lost
Insults to the game of Tacticus can send players into a blind fury, canceling initial plans of opening but invoking Pantshelm rule C-1 subsection 12 line two, which allows a player to summon a dimensional rift. Such a rift may only be summoned once every 27 turns.
the Observer Initiation Clause, found in appendix 768-04, allows a person who has been watching but not actively playing to move the philosopher into the treasury, taking control of it for 4.234512 points and putting out the lights. If no such unit exits, it is created.
a massive, disgusting orgy of awfulness gives creatures such as trolls a +30% boost to their morale. Please do not narrate said action(s).
Rule 74c(i)(a)(iv) can be invoked to throw all [[invaders]] of a type to a randomly determined position and z-level.
super noble fun variation allows one to declare themselves Baron if they control a crown and a secpter and a ring, for 6 noble points times the number of heads. Nobles can commandeer locations where no other nobles are. We are using this variation.
thanks to the Gica Sareve dispute, it is not technically required for one to display whether or not an object has been decorated.
rule b2 406.1092allows players to join under the title "person who got lost but has all right to join seeing as he found his destination and it is engulfed in a game of taxticus"
rule 325, section two "Instant Ettin Grenades" allows one to use ettin eggs for an obvious purpose.
A negation negation zone negates the negation of any unit entering it. For example, if a an undead entered the zone, it would become un-un-dead. Since there is only one possible negation collapse for this situation, it would be dead. On the other hand, if an antisocial counterintelligence agent were to enter the zone, it would become an anti-antisocial counter-counterintelligence agent. Counter-counterintelligence does not collapse at all: this is now an agent that works against counterintelligence. On the other hand, anti-antisocial has two options (the choice would be up to the controller): it could either collapse into the opposite of antisocial; namely social. Or it could be someone who doesnt like antisocials.
A sharpening reallocation zone treats all piercing damage dealt inside the zone as blunt damage and all blunt damage as piercing damage. Any %chance of stuckin is unaffected.
Philosophers have a reality warping effect and can rationalize units out of existance.
torches were introduced in the handbook "The Amazingness of Wood"
Init. Alteration allows one to change the init options from NO to YES or YES to NO, but only for up to three units at a time. This can allow, for instance, certain units to ignore temp. or rent.
we are playing without Undead Body Parts.
when the board has been reset multiple in flaggrante blueshift fluxuations are caused, and so players are allowed to bring either a) A total of one (1) unit from the previous board, OR b) The sum of your remaining points from the last round of the previous board.
general Rule of Assumption (3rd edition, section 34z "Rules about ruling about rules", subsection "Make an ass out of you and you", second paragraph, third line) states that players are assumed to have made a very clever move each of thier previous rounds,
as per Pantshelm rules for specializations, both Ninjas ang Grues are [SPECIAL].
Losing a [SPECIAL] causes a loss of 50% of ones total points, based on the maximum point value at the start of calculations.
rulebook n: VERY special events and pie-creation, allows the engaging of rule n6-007b: seed selection.
"crono-update-sequential-advancement" allows adventurers to use Dwarf Mode Skills. It has been activated.
wall 386 of Pantshelm's Hall of Rules, specifically the engraving titled "Itchnuts the Ancient Pain of Balls" allows one to change the settings on the main food stockpile to accept only bags of sand.
if one makes a play, and then exploded thier head, they probably could go for the Disability bonus. Subsection B-1, 3rd edition: "Players who are deemed "kinda slow" by a collective panel of Batmen get an extra turn at the start of the game, as long as not more than 3 rounds have already been played. This rule is only valid as long as said player does NOT start with the Adamantine Scepter of Unruliness, in which case he is DEDUCTED one turn due to the general rule of "unfair play"." "unfair play" is only applicable as long as you're on the Fairway
the class inventory tables for retaining followers, found in appendix 15d spleen 33E-m, state that rangers are retained with a complete set of *<<Fox>>*, all of which menace with spikes of Obsidian, a -Lead Flask- with 3 water, a (Steel Crossbow) and 42 Steel Bolts. Said ranger is a grand high master marksman.
the precedent of the 842 Oncol Gengar games allowed that Ballista were giant crossbows and as such, the marksdwarf skill applies to them as well.
in accordance with Appendix E of the Emergency Rulebook of Anti-Confusion, if you pretend that you understand the rules and that you know what's going on, it is assumed that your moves are legal by default.
By the dictates of Default Core Rule X-22/5 (remember to slide the decimal to the right), one can invoke the Assumed Rule of Assumption (this particular instance is covered on the third page of the aforementioned rule section), by which any Crystal Spines rules currently in effect cannot be carried between board states. We have invoked this.
by the Unexplained Severing of Ties rule, all players are assumed to have broken all alliances due to exploding tempers over nonexistent squabbles whenever a new board is created.
One gains the advantage of the Broken Billy Goat Effect if they never read the last page of the version three rulebook. This, combined with the compensation for entering the game late, allows one who fulfills the above qualification to enter play with 3 bronze billy goat colossi at a point of thier choosing.
"Assumption of Secretive Possession By Animated Statues" causes players to control any territory possessed by thier collossi.
the wealthiest player in this game has the ability to bring an Extreme Banker noble into play within 5 turns unless thier current state is drastically altered. How drastic an alteration is will be determined by the council of batmen that determine disabilities. If they do not survive until then, they are assumed to have ruled in the player's favor.
If objects are in a nonexistant location, they to do not exist.
If the banker is angered, roll a die. If it lands heads up he/she/it stays.
the UltraBanker has the exact same effects as the Extreme Banker but requires one less coffer. This is according to the Guidelines for Wealth-Based Advantages
the Illusory Area Rules state that any location that existed previously but does not at the current state exists until a unit is moved to that area or the area is interacted with, at which point the area dissapears. The rules do say that one keeps any bonuses they get due to controlling the area, even if the area then dissapears, until the board state is reevaluated.
Of course, this does not apply for new areas or areas that still exist.
According to the Critical Locations Control table conquest over the trade depot earns an extra 1000 points.
based on the Enemy Engagement Proclamation, units can be ordered to attack any opposition in an 8 tile radius of them.
5th edition, chapter 3, section 4-B, subsection alfalfa clearly states that unit control loss is less or not equal to/than losing a unit by Death and/or extreme loss of bowel function pointwise.
subsection asparagus covers the event of undeath.
appendix C (Magical Items) of the first edition of the Pantshelm rulebook, under the heading Greater Rings of Power, shows that many of the Greater Rings bestowed invisibility on the bearer. the SECOND edition rulebook in the same section says that prolonged exposure to and/or use of such items will transform any non-celestial living being into an incorporeal undead bound to the ring.
as per the Rosenborg feint presedence, one can not be penalized in any way for omitting to mention any rule that is not a main rule, wether intentional or not.
Emergency Action 98c subsection Omega to can be used to call the Ghostbusters and/or Chuck Norris if it all goes to pot, but only by unanimous decree. Emergency Action 98c is only useable in situations directly involving either terrorists, giant robots, the 80's, or living Jell-o. If needed the Multitude may be substituted for the Jell-o, though the situation must in that case also include cultists serving members thereof. This may cause a copyright problem, to be resolved as noted below.
Emergency Action § may be applied should the situation require Bruce Willis, Darth Vader, or the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. In addition subsection 4é of that Action allows for the summoning (via 5.3-man summoning circle; see the additional rulebook "Summoning Circles for Dummies") of Kratos or James Bond if gratuitous violence is required.
Thi smay also result in a copyright problem.
in accordance with the papersmith judgement, rock salt buildings prevent ghost attacks. Also, fey moods prevent other forms of possession.
Kings have a special demand ability you can read about in the Second Edition of the Nobles And Certain Death book, page 173. According to the table, the controller of a king or queen gets to flip 3 coins and throw 3 dice, then choose the demand from the charts. If the demand is meet the player who gave him the [[demanded item]] gets to pick a reward from page 143. Those who fail to meet the demand before another player does gets a random punishment from the table on page 176.
rule 10.122451½ from The Great Book of Tacticus And Herding of Goats (Players joining right after a demand for snailbone rings has been made) allows new players to place ninety-nine [[Kobold or any of the plants included in the TACTICUS 45th expansion "Fucknuts and Other Strange Vegetation" ]] tokens, each with an amputated left hand, on the gameboard if a player joins after a demand for snailbone rings ahs been made.
As in The Book of Failures Concerning Dice, dicerolls are handled as a 0 if the die is lost.
the "Peculiar Language Translation" booklet came with the 3rd edition expansion pack, "Weird goats and other rules"
The Area Bonuses List, part of Tacticus since the Time before Time, states that the controller of the Trade Depot controls the Import Agreements.
Sacrifice is instantaneous.
Time is Money
mules ignore further orders and set about getting themselves stuffed into hollow trees by passing greater molochs upon entering small groves (rule book 7331 "random creatures and other copie right law infringments")
rule #1973 edition 22: "all players who are a jello cube count as there own unit"
rule EA1 (Emergency Action 1), "when a player is left with no units or left with less than 3 hoary marmots, he may immediately buy items and units spending not more than 50 points, immedately upon ending his turn. Any units purchased in this manner are allowed one move, as long as it is not an attack, nor squatting on the potty."
the "Presence of Absence" rule can be used when one is locked out of the game-state for reasons beyond thier control.
to fill in as substitute Random Events Referee "...until the primary Random Events Referee returns, dead, undead or alive, or a new primary Random Events Referee is chosen by a 84/149th majority of all players in Utah"
rule 55.xv5, revision sixty two, version 5, second sentence on the fourth page, regarding Unlimited Player Space and Infinite Expansion of The Playing Field: "No rule may be invoked that might possibly prevent a new player from joining the game. If all current playing space is unavailable, the board may be expanded infinitely in all directions until there is room for the new player's opening move. If even this space is not enough, nonexistent areas will be added into legally available playspaces as referenced in Nonexistent PlaySpaces and Dealings Thereof (Appendix Z.A, page 345.5, written in invisible microprint on the outer edge of the page)."
In the event that a player lacks complete knowledge of the board, thier units have both a Field of Protective Ignorance, and 5 Quanta-Positional Uncertainty counters each, granting them complete invisibility until they are directly observed, and granting them pseudo-invulnerability until more is known about the board.
Units in such a state provide thier controller an immunity from losing the game, due to thier quantum natures.
"Shrodinger's Book of Tacticus" has a 50/50 chance of existing in any given game. (In our game, it does)
The rule "Ignorance is Strength", found in rulebook Nonsense, allows the placing of up to 10 units of the players choosing wherever they choose if they forget the type and number of thier units.
"Dig! Dig! Dig to the depths!" allows non-dwarf animals to mine downwards. It must be activated per creature type, per player.
"Accidently" killing your own noble nets 10 killing Noble points.
a + 10 arboreal bonus to is awarded to a players Charisma score for 1d4 rounds, as per section 12b of the "Arbitrary rules that rule" expansion ruleset for 3rd edition Pantshelm, if they have a Wizard or equivalent unit in the woods.
the small wild strawberry field next to the river contains a total of [[Random number between 64 and 107]] wild strawberries in the field. Any creature venturing too close to the field will be bitten for (The amount of strawberries in the field)d2 damage. The controller of the creature in question will also have to roll dice to see if the bite was especially dangerous according to the "Argh, It Bit Me!" table, included in the original 4th edition book of Tacticus
rule b2 406.1092, allows anyone to join in.
If Fale Siegerdriven is summoned to the field, in accordance with rule K.1464896, or "What happens when Fale Siegedriven is summoned," Fale will give a 10+ Morale bonus to all of her kobolds. However, it will unfortunately have the side-effect of taking her and her army three (3) turns to get to the playing field. This is negated if the elves arrive before her, in accordance with rule J.3127 as she will follow them into the field because they are more tolerant of "lesser" species and allowed her to follow. (Elves will, however, always arrive in two turns from the start when this rule is invoked on turns one through two...)
Per rule 995.2A, "Purely Optional Fluff for Incoming Players", new players can roll on the Random Incoming Entity Table twice.
27 --> Human Merchant Representative, 2 Human Bodyguards (Swordsmen)
pi squared --> an irrational number of rhesus macaques
The Human Trade Representative immediately attempts to locate the dwarven Broker. If there is no broker, the Human Merchant Representative wanders randomly, but is required to stay in areas judged to cause the greatest number of pathing issues possible. If no broker can be found after 4 turns, the Human Trade Representative goes insane and is killed by his own bodyguards, who then return to the capital, collect their pay, and tell the human king that the dwarves killed the trade representative. Humans may invade starting 4 turns later.
The irrational number of rhesus macaques are required to steal an irrational number of =granite flutes= and then run off the map.
ule 7992.1A from the Expandable Expendable Errata, "...vermin of a good nature (i.e. fairies) are immune to bites from surprisingly aggressive fruits, considering that they are already quite fruity themselves," but in such events 2 points are awarded to the owner of the fruit patch due to the fairy dust bonus.
rule 6 § 56745686487 allows one to join the game and start as a nation of extra-fluffy 6 armed deers(yes, 6 arms and 4 legs).
rule 5542d0 under "Things To Make The Gamesystem Even Easier To Exploit" states that, prior to play, an individual may be appointed to be clerk. The clerk's sole responsibility is to keep records of the game in play. The clerk does not participate, unless Exception 2368a5 is enacted.
ule 2691 subsection B of the 3rd edition allows the invoking of the observer right of weather adjustment, whereby any observer who has not yet made a move may adjust the weather to his/her liking.
Blood multiplies at a rate of 5B^4 per turn where B=amount of blood at the beginning of the turn.
100 points can get you a flying elf elephant dragon carp
An entering Lurker can Arbitrarily administer the articles concerning alliterative titles and their ensuing consequences - All players must now take an alliterative title, and accept the consequences of said title. This has been arbitrarilly administered.
"Illuminated Illuvitar, the ispiringly insipid imp" is the title of MindSnap, who as a result of said title accepts the consequence of owning everything in any way related to top, middle or bottom earth, including 49% of a certain undead ghost-ninjah that happens to be an elf. With ninja stars. Also, in Mindsnap's own text, "However, as it's location is still unknown, the ninja gains the intrinsic ability to exist anywhere, at any time, and because of the heisenburg uncertainty principle, as his location is unknown his speed may be ascertained, which is equal to warp e. Warp has it's own problems... Specifically, as the star trek universe cannot co-exist with the dwarf fortress one, and the DF universe is rather more applicable in this situation, warp does not exist. Because warp speeds are greater than the speed of light, the ninja has it's speed parsed down to light's and because of special relativity, time is at a standstill for the ninja and it cannot decide where to go with ti's infinite speed. However, if time EVER starts again it is sure to flip out and kill EVERYTHING, effectively murdering all non-undead in play."
the Law of Unconfirmed Locations allows one to confirm where the location of thier controlled territory is if it is not known.
at the 659 Games of The Ironbay Abbey-Trials of Garters, it was decided that if part of the option could be obstructed to form a new option, the new option could be built. For instance, anything that can make "Weapon racks" can make "weapons."
.4 points can be used to cast mass !!ignite!! on all [[non-water liquid]] on the map. This move is based off the notorious Golden Tablesalted The Crystal Councils of Toga defense, which was instrumental in the victory of Urist Cableclaws the Shining Tigerforge over all comers at Leanforged, a cave, in 1023.
Crazy Cultist Calling Crafty Cats; Caves can count canny camels. This allows DwarvenMalcolite to influence the minds of any cultist on the field, The title also causes all camel cheese to rot the moment it gets on the map unless within a natural cavern. It may also render DwarvenMalcolite and said players units immune to felines but cause them to suffer allergic reactions of various intensities to other objects.
Rule 11-B/11-C subsection alpha "The rule of Ultimate Assumption". By this rule the invoker is assumed to have achieved no less than second place, possibly first at the conclusion of this game of Tacticus. Sadly, games of Tacticus never Conclude, and many players can share second.
Rule A.9319 or "Summoning of various creatures. Where from, we don't care." allows the summoning of a single [[intellegent creature]]
the Banhammer automatically inflicts a mangle on any flaming objects it hits, at the cost of removing the fire from that object. It also has the effect of making all Trolls now ignite objects when either raging or throwing things.
According to the Oversilk Decision in the Third Masterwork Tournament of Oventurnip Round 83: Day 207, this also means that anything hit by an object thrown by a Troll ignites to such a degree that it will take an amount of board resets equal to the absolute value of the difference of ninja and non-ninja units at the time of ignition before the flames go out. However, if the number of undead are greater than the total number of ninja and non-undead non-ninja units, then all ninja are instead ignited.
If the use of the "!!My Board is on Fire!!" rule found on page 287.93 in the "Lava, Magma, and You" supplement is applied, then setting the ninja on fire in this manner means that the ninja lose their sneaking abilities but instead ignite anything within 2 spaces of them or even targeted by one of their ranged attacks. However, if we choose to ignore it, then that means that Magma Men can gain sneaking abilities of Ninja if the Magma Man kills the Ninja without either touching the other.
Units not possesing wooden objects are immune to Elven Snideness.
The "Injuries and Ammunition" rule in "How to Benefit From an Idiot Military" comes into play if an ammunition hits a target, and the target's controller then controls the ammunition.
using the "I like dragons version 2.17 revised turbo edition" rules new players may summon a dragon and a cake.
The "Greiger hasn't had his Dr Pepper" rule gives Grieger (2/1¼-3)*0 points per typo or grammatical error.
Kyselina has activated her special ability, "Invisible AFKER," which grants all that she controls total invisibility as log as "PLAYERNAME has not posted in three or more hours" is TRUE.
due to rule 18793 of "things and such no one reads" any player in possession of a named mule who has not killed a adventurer imports thier items directly from the giants. This means all items they import are Giant-sized.
Rule 3 Section 5, first paragraph: "If an arguement can't be concluded safely, the person with the first letter of their name closest to A wins the arguement by default."
Note that the alpabet goes cabdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz in the universe this rule was created in, and that the alphabet wraps. IE, use cabdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzcabdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.
Pantshelm legacy rules, Page 462, Section 3a "All nobles generate ludicus mandates and demands upon arrival"
...summoning causes a loss of 0.12 realities per summoned creature, double the amount for outlanders, elder gods and dragons... If summoning wears reality too thin, Bad Things Happen, as decided by the Random Event Referee
Appendix F5: Temperature and Combustion explicitly states that fire has Legendary +5 ambush, which explains why so many dwarves fail to notice it
Emergency Rule 526, Code Alpha Five Sixty-Six. "Should the game be abandoned suddenly, with no obvious cause, the first player to make a turn before the game is officially terminated gains the right claim the title of TactiMaster. This person gains the temporary right to make changes at will, until he/she is removed from his/her position. The TactiMaster can be removed by a vote of six people. One person's vote will be nullified before counting, as determined by a roll of 1d6. Also, until the TactiMaster's reign has been terminated, all of his/her units and other in-game property are considered NPC." Currently, the position of TactiMaster is held by Sylverone.
rule 29437593 subsection 1923: large named floodgates start with a impossible artifact lever.
rule 9001.1/0.*, paragraph -4, allows new players to join the game with a starting bonus of 2500 points. But, they only get Nobles.
Adamantite Kings can summon four gremlins per turn, as per rule 90124.56.3.7, which also gives the king to power to go up or down one z-level per turn.
rule 1876 of the IIIrd rulebook (Halburg edition), "natural radiation resistance" can be invoked on units a player controls. This is instantaneous, and does not apply to units brought into existance after the rule is invoked. This has obvious effects.
Players can, at will, invoke rule 1547 ("Clothmadness") of the IIIrd rulebook (Halburg) making all other military dwarves on any, existing or non-existing, maps to enter either a berserk rage or tear off their clothes and run about, babbling, if one of thier milatary dwarfs has no equipped objects at all.
Triggering a siege is worth 500 points.
150 points can be used to create a point bank. Any player may store points in a point bank, but all points in a bank are lost if a stock market collapse occurs.
rule 28.3 ("Harold's playschool") from rulebook 1.46 (third edition, Blixtkrieg ruleset) is used to summon the ingrediants for a massacre.
Godly Anger (rulebook 1.46 (third edition, Blixtkrieg ruleset), rule 16.2) results in a player having all of thier numbers halved.
"Vocal discord" causes... changes. Just... changes.
Rule 13.7 from rulebook 1.95 (first edition, Ironblood ruleset) marks units in the process of preforming a job involving picking up things unchasamable, unigniteable, and unsmitable.
the "Bites dust" rule (2.47, Buildings and Critters ruleset, version 1987) is activated per player upon a unit they control biting the dust, figuratively or metaphorically. This renders the player immune to certain game-warping effects for a number of turns equal to the CR of the creature that bit the dust, halved.
Startled charactes may be attacked by snailmen or elk, as decided by the batman council. If the council is dead, they are instead attacked by skeletal zombie carpflingers.
Pi, from rule 3.14159265, allows one to summon a glowing pit and a number of !!LOGICAL PARADOXES!!, but renders them unable to utilize SECRET FUN STUFF
according to the Box, Container or Other Objects (Chuck Norris Edition), whenever a plump helmet comes into play inside a box, a random player, who shall know who they are, can permanantly borrow one non-legendary unit from another, non-allied player.
When glowing pits are disturbed, a number of [[demons]] are spawned. But you knew that already. It is, after all, a game rule from DF.
the Freshly Arrived Latemin Handbook, page 132, paragraph 2 allows for invoking the Multiplicity Anvil Principle when there are 10 or more spirits of fire present within any of the following pit types: smoking, dark, glowing, or vegetarian. This allows the invoker to multiply the number of anvils they possess by the number of Spirits of Fire present in the pits.
rule JB.007, Pantshelm rulset, allows, in certain circumstances, for players to place a [[chasm or river creature]] spy into play where they desire.
When the demon pits are directly assaulted, one can invoke the Counter Daemon Strike Gambit, which allows the demons to wipe out any elves that come to trade.
Technicolor makes [[color]] objects into ranbow objects, letting them learn both color blast when in attack mode (attack with color that blasts things to sparkly bits, but linear attack) and color shield when in defence mode(deflect colored attacks, not reflect. ).
Rainbow sheep are immune to normal lasers.
the Fair Play Rule, states, among other things, that if Captain Ironblood is in play at any time the game is unwinnable and he is removed.
Also, Captain Ironblood is banned from this game.
according to the "Copyrighted Material Summoning Tacticus Rulebook" copyrighted characters have the right to sue anyone who summons them without thier consent. Therefore a demon lawyer appears.
The player who summonned said character must now decide whether to attend the trial (skip two turns + random event (referto the Random Events Refereee)) or settle out of court (pay 2^x victory points to the offended parties , where x is the number of carps in play. If you don't have enough VP you must sell your assets to other players). If you win the case, the character is summoned, but suffers a -38.259 moral "bonus," and has a 30% chance of defecting to a more respectful player. If you lose, they leave, and the Random Event Referee determines yet another Random Event affecting you personally.
The Rule Addendum of Armok, added by regional Pantselm council meeting 38a, dictates that Armok, God of Blood, is significantly less pleased with death that doesn't involve blood, and invokes an inverse penalty on all violent, non-bladed non-melee weapons, as well as magic above the realm level 2. This has been invoked.
During the Meadhall Phase, a dwarven baron will appear, and judge the cooking of all opposing sides. As always, commanders at the feast will be expected to publicly distribute mini-toy-forges and other treasures to their followers, or face an immediate 25% drop in morale, with corresponding risk of defection to more generous patrons. Excelling gifts made of [[Random material gift table, a material from within]] will grant a labor and jogging bonus, as well as 2 points and a Brass Sceptre.
Also, the food must include the secret ingrediant, chosen from the Table of Ingrediants with Footnotes for any and all possible variations.
the Principle of Long-Term Plans allows dormant members to be assumed to have been conducting a number of long term plans not exeeding the months that they have been dormant for, which can be unvieled at any time to trigger them.
Bolts are bladed weapons that deal damage at close range. The Crossbow may be ranged, but the bolts are melee, as established in the official Council of Currantspines errata to the The Rule Addendum of Armok.
If there are one or more ballista bolts on the board at once, any transformed, shapeshifted, polymorphed, transmogrified or discombomulated units in play automatically become Legendary Comedians (as stated under the Transformed, Shapeshifted, Polymorphed, Transmogrified or Discombomulated Units, Sector vii, paragraph 2, letter 7, accent 2).
When two legendary comedians meet, they enter into a laughoff, which lasts for thirty turns. during said event, all voluntary movement on the parts of the comedians is negated, and any who overhear or see the event must succeed on a wisdom check of DC 45.3 or be paralyzed with laughter until the council of Batmen decides to free them.
super[[ammunition]]ly touch, Ultra-Mighty, and perfectly agile ammuntion can make sudden course corrections and adjust thier aim up to three-hundred sixty degrees in any direction.
the Akam Codex, Section Three has rules covering loose trinkets.
the Favor of the Blood God renders affected units invulnerable to bass instruments and enables thier controller to summon two different metals and/or minerals and combine them with elf meat to create 1-7 custom objects.
Every player either on or off the board has righteous hatred towards Dwarfaholic.
Under the Pantshelm rules, if the previous turn was Lacklusture, Failing, Tiny or Effortless, that player automatically loses all but 1d6 victory points and units.
All alcohol is instead distilled mermaid's blood, due to the Mythological Menaces expansion book and the presence of an imported sock covered in *mermaid blood* in the still at one point in time.
the Obscure Panthelom's Plump rule of the 3rd rulebook, unrated edition, grant new players entering late five points that may be used for any purpose they desire, as long as said purpose is not causing a fell mood.
[ February 24, 2008: Message edited by: Bovinepro ]
I invoke rule 9483h in the "exponential awesomenesses" subsection of the Pantshelm ruleset, declaring that "at any time a player can summon a unit of Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot type as long as it is completely believable, realistic and awesome", I use this to summon Kazo in being a magical admantine dinosaur ninja robot mad-scientist.
I want to inform that the next turn a infinite^2 hoard of skelk hostile to everyone, as per "baning of demigodlikes and the effects on their nemeseseses".
I also disable the Shenanigans rule, as per "rules contradictory to the spirit of TACTICUS".
quote:
Kings have a special demand ability you can read about in the Second Edition of the Nobles And Certain Death book, page 173. According to the table, the controller of a king or queen gets to flip 3 coins and throw 3 dice, then choose the demand from the charts. If the demand is meet the player who gave him the [[demanded item]] gets to pick a reward from page 143. Those who fail to meet the demand before another player does gets a random punishment from the table on page 176.
As I control a king, I flip three coins and roll three dice.. Heads. Heads. Heads. Six. Six. Six! This requires... an Artifact Adamantite Giant Corkscrew decorated with dragon skulls and titan bones, and menacing with spikes of Captain Ironblood bone. I point this demand towards Bovine and laugh, triggering rage in the Cerberus' currently off the board.
[ February 22, 2008: Message edited by: DuncanFrost ]
As the indirect result of this, I advance the season to summer. No more elves, but the humans are coming...
Oh, and I move my horde of kittens to engage the cows, with support from the Live Carpsilk Yarndwarf, which is protected by the menacing spikes of beard. This should invoke the EPIC COMBAT substrategy tactical advancement mode, unless, of course, someone pulls an Oppenheimer's Reversal on the cows.
[ February 26, 2008: Message edited by: Dwarven Malcolite ]
Thanks to rule 1387, rulebook IX, "We like ninjas!" edition, also known as the controversial "True stealth" edition, I have over the last few turns had a flaming dwarf sneak around the battlefield. I have had no need to declare this to the others, thanks to the aforementioned rule.
As we all know, fire has +5 legendary ambusher (see earlier posts), and, as we also know well, dwarves are basically mushrooms, seeing as they reproduce by spores (There is also the equally popular theory of telepathy, but I will discuss this later).
As you may well know, mushrooms adapt to their environments.
As this dwarf-mushroom notices it has a sneaking fire on it (This may take some time), it will adapt to the situation and learn as much as possible from the fire, getting superior sneaking skills too.
Thus, a legendary +5 ambusher !!dwarf!!.
/bow.
Also, if dwarves indeed do reproduce by telepathy, he will still gain legendary skills.
As we all know, each fire has a life. In some fires, this grows, until the fire becomes of Spirit of Fire. As these dwarves reproduce via telepathy, they have at least basic telepathic skills. Thus, they learn from the fire, and gain +5 ambush.
Now that I have proven that I do, indeed, have a sneaking !!dwarf!!, I will commence with the game.
As he is legendary, he gains attributes. Through sheer chance, they all go to toughness, making him super!!dwarvenly!! tough.
The !!dwarf!! emerges from ambush near Dwarven Malcolite's kittens. They all immediately adopt him, and run to him, setting themselves on fire.
The !!dwarf!! then goes to enjoy a drink at the still.
Also, as I have proved something that first seemed unlikely (see paragraphs 3-5), I gain 2448 extra points thanks to the "Runs around babbling" rule, which I probably don't need to list.
This raises my score to over nine thousand, activating the "Cliche remark" rule (Rule 1765, XIVeme rulebook, Caernarvon ruleset), forcing all creatures with [INTELLIGENT] to point at me shamingly.
As we know, dwarves are not intelligent, so my !!dwarf!! remains untouched.
Now that I am being shamedly pointed at, I activate the "Angsty nerd" rule (Rule 1, rulebook I, Pantshelm ruleset), making everybody hate me EVEN MORE.
Now I have two layers of hatred.
As planned...
Further, as I have lost my kittens to adoption, I am allowed to claim and bring in compensating forces. In this case, I reveal to you Urist Torsocleaved, Mayor, Urist Gatalthoth, Woodcutter, and Urist M–thkatn‹ng, Legendary +2 Arsonist.
Dwarfaholic, in using the Angsty Nerd Rule, has managed to get involved as an actual piece on the field, as in order to point at Dwarfaholic Dwarfaholic must be present on the field. This, of course, is a natural derivation of the invoked rule, included in version 2 of the rulebook.
Given that, and the right-of-reply, which was established by Royal Decree at the First Games and allows any to immediately react to any move that may affect them or their pieces by extending their turn as appropriate, allows me to respond.
Given that, I activate the natural ability of Mayors to be in Attend Meeting at all times to have my mayor be in a meeting with Dwarfaholic. The counseling received not only boosts my mayor to Legendary +7 Liar and Consoler (with stat boosts going to agility and toughness only), it also invokes a great feeling of pity towards Dwarfaholic, who must endure the mayor's ramblings. This, and the oft-forgotten Windbag's Addendum Ruleset Implementation, which occurs by default whenever Pantsherm Rules are not used, cause all hate players have for Dwarfaholic to be transferred to the mayor, and replaced with an equal amount of pity.
Sorry Dwarfaholic. All players now have two levels of pity towards you. I do hope I didn't ruin one of your plans.
The arsonist begins sneaking. The arsonist, being skilled with fire, gains Legendary +5 ambush by the logic that has just been used above me. He heads towards the maple log windmill.
Finally, the "well... like trees" bylaw allows my woodcutter to start mining out an entrance corridor. An entrance corridor to what, I cannot yet say...
[ February 27, 2008: Message edited by: Dwarven Malcolite ]
Mind if I join in?
Hmph, so my hatred is now pity. Just as well, I guess.
Well, now that I'm on the field, I gain some stats from the meeting as well, and now have +5 legendary liar and comedian. Also, all my attribute levels are belong to toughness.
Another Cliche remark, and I now have 3 levels of pity, and a level of hatred. Booyeah!
Oh yeah, I also have sufficient (Over 9000!) points to summon in a cadre of zombie goblins. With crossbows. Riding on elephants.
As my only true opponent now is Dwarven Malcolite, who I shall hence refer to as DM, I send all my soldiers to attack his woodcutter. There is no hope of survival take your time.
And, if my counts are correct, that makes it 3 pity, 3 hatred.
All I need for "Flip out."
You see, you had thought you had got me, putting me on the field.
What you did not realize was that is was just where I wanted to be.
I use my remaining points to give myself an artifact mace, and activate "Flip out" on myself.
The Mayor is the first one to die.
The rest will join soon.
By the way, a !!Live Carpsilk Yawndwarf!! is a transmogrified creature; therefore it has gained Legendary Comedian.
[ March 02, 2008: Message edited by: DuncanFrost ]
Dwarfaholic charges at the Quadrgremlin!
It is surprised by the ferocity of his charge!
Anyways, he kills it, and retrieves the uber sword and his previous weapon.
Yarr.
You see, this is not happy city.
In fact, the word "Dystopy" would be far too mild of a word to properly capture the Orwelliness of this society.
In fact, just take 1984 and multiply the awesome by a hundred.
quote:
Originally posted by Dark:
<STRONG>Whats gotten into you people? Have you all gone stark raving mad?! You should be using the new rulebook that just got released! Its called Logic and Fairness, here I have a copy on me, take it and enjoy your game in a new light! Now im off!</STRONG>
*repairs board state, in the process mistakingly duplicating the dystopia+ city*
I now have 7 underpayed hoary marmot temp workers and interns in the lava vent.
I recruit all my "Restless folk" and send them to battle the underpayed marmots.
As my valiant soldiers fall into the magma vent, I blame it on everybody else, and promptly declare war.
(bump)
Or you throw four natural twenties and all my goblins are hit by meteorites. As if.
A miner has located some eerie glowing pits.
Smelter destroyed.
Magma Forge toppled.
Magma Smelter destroyed.
Door destroyed.
Mason's Workshop toppled.
Kitchen toppled.
Door destroyed.
Clothes Maker's Shop toppled.
Urist Zirilokbod, Miner has bled to death.
Urist Geshudid, Hammerlord has been struck down.
I set the booze on fire.
How do those rules carry on to forum games? I can't speak for everyone else here, but I don't actually own a Gameboy Advance.Following subrule 54b: surprise rule engagement and figurine carving ideas from book 3 of the GCS and other Creatures Extended Edition Manual (Abridged), whenever a player with "Vol" and "ram" in their name doesn't get it, the announcing player gets 7 or 14 (his or her choice) carp tokens, to quote from the manual "all up in there (sic) base."