Bay 12 Games Forum

Finally... => Forum Games and Roleplaying => Topic started by: DarkerDark on July 19, 2010, 07:41:09 pm

Title: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: DarkerDark on July 19, 2010, 07:41:09 pm
In the Grim Darkness of the far future, there is only substance abuse.

You are a high ranking member in the fighting forces of the Imperium of Man known as the Imperial Guard. Your rank: Commissar. Your duties include monitoring junior and senior officers, ensuring they follow orders within line of the Imperial Creed, and motivating the lowly guardsman so they may give their lives for the God Emperor.

At least, that's what you've been charged to do, but in reality, you spend most of your time in your room drinking yourself into a drunken stupor. You've been stationed on some Emperor forsaken planet, attached to an Imperial Guard regiment that hates your guts. You have no friends, and you often cry yourself to sleep at night. Oh how things have gone downhill since you graduated from the Schola Progenium.

You wake up in your room. You remember nothing of the previous night, though noting all the empty bottles of booze, it was yet another depressing night of loneliness. You have a splitting headache. You are wearing your standard issue Commissariat jammies.

(http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/DarkC1oak/1room.png)

>
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Bandages on July 19, 2010, 07:53:15 pm
>Remember name is Diasus Lincoln

>Weep gently whilst dressing yourself
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: DarkerDark on July 19, 2010, 08:52:42 pm
Quote from: Bandages on July 19, 2010, 07:53:15 pm
>Weep gently whilst dressing yourself

You retrieve your uniform from your locker. Someone has scrawled a random insult on the inside of your locker, it only reminds you how much everybody hates you. If only you could get a transfer to a regiment that actually respected their Commissars... Ah, who are you fooling, the only way you're going to transfer out of here is in a cold metal coffin.

The thought depresses you even further. You weep quietly as you dress yourself.

(http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/DarkC1oak/2cry.png)

Quote from: Bandages on July 19, 2010, 07:53:15 pm
>Remember name is Diasus Lincoln

Once you dawn your Commissariat hat, the tears vanish, the liquor induced fog in your head begins to clear and you remember your name is Diasus Lincoln. Oh how this gargantuan hat brings you such comfort, how it empowers you with such a grand stature. What would you ever do without it? The hat commands the regiment's respect, even if you don't.

(http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/DarkC1oak/3dressed.png)

>
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Bandages on July 19, 2010, 08:56:40 pm
>Put on a brave face and greet your regiment.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Nirur Torir on July 19, 2010, 08:59:20 pm
>Examine humorous doormat before leaving, to improve our mood.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Criptfeind on July 19, 2010, 09:04:35 pm
>Take a pull of something hard and rough. Put on boots.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: SHAD0Wdump on July 19, 2010, 09:04:55 pm
>Undergo radical physical transformation brought on by hat.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: wolfchild on July 19, 2010, 09:17:21 pm
Don't forget you're las-pistol, might nood to shoot some people to feel better
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Criptfeind on July 19, 2010, 09:21:23 pm
Can I use this
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
as a avatar?
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Acanthus117 on July 19, 2010, 09:31:57 pm
Quote from: wolfchild on July 19, 2010, 09:17:21 pm
Don't forget you're las-pistol, might nood to shoot some people to feel better

Laspistol?! We've got a fricking Bolt Pistol and Chain sword, ferEMPRAH'ssakes!

>Get badass weapons and move out to meet regiment. Proceed to scream the fuck at them.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: DarkerDark on July 19, 2010, 09:59:12 pm
Quote from: Nirur Torir on July 19, 2010, 08:59:20 pm
>Examine humorous doormat before leaving, to improve our mood.
(http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/DarkC1oak/6mat.png)

This doormat was once humorous when you first got it, but now it reminds you of how much the regimental officers are complete dicks because not one of them EVER wipes their damn feet when they step into your quarters!

Quote from: Criptfeind on July 19, 2010, 09:04:35 pm
>Take a pull of something hard and rough. Put on boots.

(http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/DarkC1oak/5drink.png)

Ah, there's nothing like a quick swig of "The Emperor's Moonshine" first thing in the morning! You feel more commanding, as though you can order the entire regiment into the Eye of Terror!

You dawn your boots.

Quote from: Bandages on July 19, 2010, 08:56:40 pm
>Put on a brave face and greet your regiment.
Quote from: wolfchild on July 19, 2010, 09:17:21 pm
Don't forget you're las-pistol, might need to shoot some people to feel better

You can't go greet the regiment without your means of dispensing motivation! Now, if you can only remember where you put your motivation dispensers--... err, weapons!

(http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/DarkC1oak/4needweapons-1.png)

>
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: DarkerDark on July 19, 2010, 10:00:19 pm
Quote from: Criptfeind on July 19, 2010, 09:21:23 pm
Can I use this
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
as a avatar?

Sure, use whatever you'd like!
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: SHAD0Wdump on July 19, 2010, 10:01:22 pm
>look under sheets, you've probably been sleeping with your weapons again.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Acanthus117 on July 19, 2010, 10:04:19 pm
But also check your locker for your BOLT PISTOL AMMO.

They must be lonely in there :'(
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: wolfchild on July 19, 2010, 10:06:38 pm
Dont you remember, you put you're hellpistol and power fist under you're bed
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Bandages on July 19, 2010, 10:09:05 pm
>examine what you had written on the papers on your desk before you spilled the ink

and/or

>examine the circled date on the calender
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Criptfeind on July 19, 2010, 10:19:17 pm
Commence with your daily inspection of your bed for cancer.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: rickvoid on July 19, 2010, 10:29:27 pm
> Retrieve arms from under pillow.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Retro on July 19, 2010, 10:32:16 pm
Smash one of your many bottles (an empty one, mind) and use it as a weapon. The troops ought to know who not to mess with!
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Criptfeind on July 19, 2010, 10:42:36 pm
>Use "bottle"
>Acquire "empty bottle"
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: dragnar on July 19, 2010, 10:44:55 pm
Quote from: rickvoid on July 19, 2010, 10:29:27 pm
> Retrieve arms from under pillow.
The pun... it burns... AUGH!!!!

Anyway, do that.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: DarkerDark on July 20, 2010, 12:28:40 am
Quote from: SHAD0Wdump on July 19, 2010, 10:01:22 pm
>look under sheets, you've probably been sleeping with your weapons again.

You often crave company during those long sleepless nights, but you've stopped sleeping with weapons ever since you were caught with a certain body part doubling as a barrel plug... What? No! It was your finger! yeesh, sickos! Anyways, you've found a fine replacement! Your faithful teddy bear, one of the only members of this regiment that won't insult you behind your back! So that's where you've been hiding!

(http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/DarkC1oak/7binky.png)

Quote from: Criptfeind on July 19, 2010, 10:19:17 pm
>Commence with your daily inspection of your bed for cancer.
Quote from: rickvoid on July 19, 2010, 10:29:27 pm
> Retrieve arms from under pillows.

(http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/DarkC1oak/8retrievearms.png)

The daily inspection of your bed reveals no cancerous tumors, pulsating flesh pods, stray tentacles, or gaping maws. It's safe to say your bed is chaos free. You would retrieve your arms from under the pillows, but there is only one arm, and it isn't the type of arm you're looking for. It's an old trophy you claimed during one of those Crusades against the Tau. Most people collect skulls, you collect arms, or rather, you would if you weren't stuck on this backwater world. Oh, what you wouldn't give to be back in those days when your life actually had a purpose.

Quote from: Criptfeind on July 19, 2010, 10:42:36 pm
>Use "bottle"
>Acquire "empty bottle"
Quote from: Retro on July 19, 2010, 10:32:16 pm
>Smash one of your many bottles (an empty one, mind) and use it as a weapon. The troops ought to know who not to mess with!

(http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/DarkC1oak/9smash.png)

You might as well put this empty bottle of Catachan Spirits to good use. You smash it over your desk as though you were one of the regiment's grizzled veterans preparing for a bar brawl. God Emperor, you wish you were as cool as those guys. Still, nobody's going to give you any backtalk while you're wielding this.

(http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/DarkC1oak/10room.png)

>
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Bandages on July 20, 2010, 12:34:47 am
>Examine circled date on calender
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: wolfchild on July 20, 2010, 12:37:36 am
get power fist and hell pistol from under bed
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: rickvoid on July 20, 2010, 12:41:12 am
>Check on the cunningly concealed shrine to Tzentch hidden in your campaign chest.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: DarkerDark on July 20, 2010, 12:43:06 am
I'm off to bed! I'll pick it up tomorrow!
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Bandages on July 20, 2010, 12:43:57 am
<3 thanks for being so rad, DarkerDark!
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Blargityblarg on July 20, 2010, 12:44:34 am
Place teddy bear under hat, for emotional support. Retrieve boltpistol.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: maxicaxi on July 20, 2010, 12:48:07 am
remember that bolt pistol is in hat


retrieve bolt pistol
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Neyvn on July 20, 2010, 01:47:18 am
Check pockets...
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Retro on July 20, 2010, 02:23:24 am
Angle your hat slightly to the side to complete your new streetwise look.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Neyvn on July 20, 2010, 04:44:30 am
Did anyone notice the red goopy substance dripping from the locker in the Beer Shattering Panel? The one some footprints lead to... So I say...

Notice the Copper smell that exists in the room and seek it out...
Open Footlocker with key located under pillow...
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Digital Hellhound on July 20, 2010, 04:53:04 am
Examine picture next to arm.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Ninteen45 on July 20, 2010, 05:36:44 am
>Clean your room, even if it's just a few brush sweeps and a poorly made bed.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: SHAD0Wdump on July 20, 2010, 07:36:03 am
Quote from: Blargityblarg on July 20, 2010, 12:44:34 am
Place teddy bear under hat, for emotional support.
Heheheh... This is good.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: dragnar on July 20, 2010, 07:38:34 am
Quote from: SHAD0Wdump on July 20, 2010, 07:36:03 am
Quote from: Blargityblarg on July 20, 2010, 12:44:34 am
Place teddy bear under hat, for emotional support.
Heheheh... This is good.
Agreed. DO EET.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: abculatter_2 on July 20, 2010, 08:34:03 am
First, here's a very informative Wiki on the lore and such of Warhammer 40K:
http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Main_Page

Secondly, I'd like to apologize for the hours upon hours of fascinated clicking this will inevitably waste.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Paranatural on July 20, 2010, 08:49:38 am
Oh come on guys

Check the other locker for weapon(s)
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Rose on July 20, 2010, 09:01:37 am
> examine papers on floor.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Ultimuh on July 20, 2010, 10:27:33 am
>Carefully open the door and look for someone random to beat up.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Mishy on July 20, 2010, 11:26:45 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Ninteen45 on July 20, 2010, 12:13:04 pm
Necrons are clearly his favorite thing to kill, so he'll wear the pajamas to remind him of those great moments in time where he decimated their invasions with the men that liked him, and the ones he knew.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Armok on July 20, 2010, 12:14:48 pm
Ok, I might hate 40k but...

THIS ADVETURE IS MADE OF UTER HILARITY AND WIN!!!
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: rickvoid on July 20, 2010, 12:17:29 pm
Must not have added enough GrimDark then.

Fix that, quickly!
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: SHAD0Wdump on July 20, 2010, 12:28:30 pm
Quote from: Armok on July 20, 2010, 12:14:48 pm
Ok, I might hate 40k but...

THIS ADVETURE IS MADE OF UTER HILARITY AND WIN!!!
You expected less from this guy?
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Armok on July 20, 2010, 01:17:11 pm
Quote from: SHAD0Wdump on July 20, 2010, 12:28:30 pm
Quote from: Armok on July 20, 2010, 12:14:48 pm
Ok, I might hate 40k but...

THIS ADVETURE IS MADE OF UTER HILARITY AND WIN!!!
You expected less from this guy?
You have a point there.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Siquo on July 21, 2010, 03:35:04 am
Quote from: Armok on July 20, 2010, 01:17:11 pm
Quote from: SHAD0Wdump on July 20, 2010, 12:28:30 pm
Quote from: Armok on July 20, 2010, 12:14:48 pm
Ok, I might hate 40k but...

THIS ADVETURE IS MADE OF UTER HILARITY AND WIN!!!
You expected less from this guy?
You have a point there.
I thought the moment would never come, but: Yeah, what Armok said, minus spelling errors  ;D
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Glacies on July 21, 2010, 03:38:06 am
Let's not take the teddy bear with us. That's begging for disaster or discovery. Instead, let's just clean up the room a little bit and find our bloody weapons. And chuck the broken bottle in the trash.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Doomshifter on July 21, 2010, 04:03:23 am
>Step outside, greet heretics.


>With your fist.



>Power fist.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Luke_Prowler on July 21, 2010, 04:09:58 am
>Take key
>Look at photo.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: dragnar on July 21, 2010, 07:40:04 am
Quote from: Glacies on July 21, 2010, 03:38:06 am
Let's not take the teddy bear with us. That's begging for disaster or discovery. Instead, let's just clean up the room a little bit and find our bloody weapons. And chuck the broken bottle in the trash.
Bah. We can simply label any who dare touch the bear a heretic. That bear has fought in more battles than any of them!(well, assuming we always have it under our hat)
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: wolfchild on July 21, 2010, 07:49:41 am
THe teddy bear is our sergant, and has the right to execute anyone who offends it, legally

edit: sergant is under commisar, but above the rabble, just clearing any posible confusion
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: abculatter_2 on July 21, 2010, 12:32:50 pm
Quote from: wolfchild on July 21, 2010, 07:49:41 am
THe teddy bear is our sergant, and has the right to execute anyone who offends it, legally

edit: sergant is under commisar, but above the rabble, just clearing any posible confusion

This. This so hard.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Retro on July 21, 2010, 12:57:16 pm
Quote from: abculatter_2 on July 21, 2010, 12:32:50 pm
Quote from: wolfchild on July 21, 2010, 07:49:41 am
THe teddy bear is our sergant, and has the right to execute anyone who offends it, legally

edit: sergant is under commisar, but above the rabble, just clearing any posible confusion

This. This so hard.

Then the bear requires its own hat. No true officer ever goes hatless.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: dragnar on July 21, 2010, 01:00:40 pm
Quote from: Retro on July 21, 2010, 12:57:16 pm
Quote from: abculatter_2 on July 21, 2010, 12:32:50 pm
Quote from: wolfchild on July 21, 2010, 07:49:41 am
THe teddy bear is our sergant, and has the right to execute anyone who offends it, legally

edit: sergant is under commisar, but above the rabble, just clearing any posible confusion

This. This so hard.

Then the bear requires its own hat. No true officer ever goes hatless.
Yes, but the higher ups disagree. That's why he shares our hat!
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Karnewarrior on July 21, 2010, 03:41:22 pm
>Place teddy bear under hat.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: maxicaxi on July 21, 2010, 11:00:24 pm
Quote from: Karnewarrior on July 21, 2010, 03:41:22 pm
>Place teddy bear under hat.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Kadzar on July 22, 2010, 04:34:09 am
When you put something on, you "don" it; you don't "dawn" it. Just for future reference, or something.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: RAM on July 22, 2010, 05:33:59 am
Tnecca an evah you sselnu...
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Jackrabbit on July 22, 2010, 07:19:20 am
Wow am I glad I checked this out. I love you, DarkerDark, in a platonic way unless you want it to be more than that.

Quote from: Kadzar on July 22, 2010, 04:34:09 am
When you put something on, you "don" it; you don't "dawn" it. Just for future reference, or something.

No, see, he Dawn of War'd it.

AHAHAHAHA so alone...
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Demonic Spoon on July 22, 2010, 07:31:21 am
This is so awesome, and yeah, put the bear under your hat.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Jackrabbit on July 22, 2010, 07:33:36 am
We'll want to be careful. The bear is obviously a psychological crutch of some sort.

Anyway, I say we work on making the men respect you, or shit their pants in terror at the thought of you. Ideally both, but whatever boosts our self esteem more, really. We are a Commissar, damn it, if the IG have balls of steel, it's because they know it's the only way to prevent us from breaking them.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Julien Brightside on July 22, 2010, 07:50:29 am
I am so gonna continue watching this.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Demonic Spoon on July 23, 2010, 03:11:39 pm
... :( Me wants to funnies.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: QuakeIV on July 26, 2010, 05:29:10 pm
Quote from: Demonic Spoon on July 23, 2010, 03:11:39 pm
... :( Me wants to funnies.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Criptfeind on July 26, 2010, 06:50:30 pm
Is this dead?
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Bandages on July 26, 2010, 08:07:17 pm
DarkerDark hasn't been on recently.

I for one want him to take his sweet time doing whatever it is he does. Anything > Writing RPs. I should know, I'm a doctor.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Jackrabbit on July 28, 2010, 06:19:08 am
I think I'd know better, being a procrastinator.

Officially. I have a certificate. Or I would, but I never got around to getting one.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Retro on July 28, 2010, 08:13:30 am
Hope he comes back. This had great potential.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Karnewarrior on July 28, 2010, 06:20:46 pm
Did anyone get the irony of procrasitating on the motivator?
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: Ninteen45 on July 28, 2010, 09:10:18 pm
Quote from: Karnewarrior on July 28, 2010, 06:20:46 pm
Did anyone get the irony of procrasitating on the motivator?

Or the irony of the fact he did this because he was trying to avoid letting the adventures die slowly, and he has let this die already.

7 BRO LEVELS OF IRONY REACHED.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: QuakeIV on July 31, 2010, 09:03:54 pm
Quote from: Jackrabbit on July 28, 2010, 06:19:08 am
I think I'd know better, being a procrastinator.

Officially. I have a certificate. Or I would, but I never got around to getting one.

Okay, thats hilarious.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: NewsMuffin on August 01, 2010, 09:04:48 pm
THIS. SHALL. NOT. DIE.
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: abculatter_2 on August 03, 2010, 01:28:40 pm
Snake? SNAKE? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE?!?
Title: Re: The Professional Motivator - Paint Adventure
Post by: QuakeIV on August 10, 2010, 06:54:41 pm
Aw, man.  :-\