Bay 12 Games Forum
Finally... => Creative Projects => Topic started by: DrPoo on March 18, 2011, 02:06:04 pm
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Well.. just poetic stuff, might be the worst you will ever read.
And here i stand, at theese ghostly mountains of confusion, screaming at the distant doom rolling in, my skin turning grey and purified, a new sickness drilling into my heart, i drop, dead, as this doom that was distant the recent past, cremates my shell, as i become one with the perpetual fire storm of hell
This soul, disembodied, ghost. This world, grey, monochrome. Like a fart, it annoys at first, kills you the next second. This grey featureless monochrome world of disorder and frustation.
Im sick and tired, will post more random mind farting tomorrow, feel free to post your own mind farting.
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This soul, disembodied, ghost. This world, grey, monochrome. Like a fart, it annoys at first, kills you the next second. This grey featureless monochrome world of disorder and frustation.
Im sick and tired, will post more random mind farting tomorrow, feel free to post your own mind farting.
Why do you have an unhealthy obsession with shit, DrPoo?
Did something happen when you were younger?
Anything you might want to talk about?
We are always ready to listen and won't judge you too much.
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Just words, and a poetic.. umm equation, i'd bet Jesus and Jim Morrison made equations with farts too..
Farts are not shit, they are not composed of dead white cells, hell if they were..
And mind fart, also known as brain farting is the art of scooping out thoughts at random, trolls do alot of brain farting, and greifers too.
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What a shit poem! (Pun intended, do not take offense)
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Im fine with that :)
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Do you want some actual C&C? If not then just ignore this post.
Your grammar needs fixing, in fact, the whole first paragraph is one sentence. Try not to use a word twice when there is another word that would do. Fnally, your sentence structure is rather unusual. This world, disembodied, ghost. That makes no sense whatsoever, it's like saying: This chair, red, elephant.
Anyway, good luck with further writing.
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Do you want some actual C&C? If not then just ignore this post.
Your grammar needs fixing, in fact, the whole first paragraph is one sentence. Try not to use a word twice when there is another word that would do. Fnally, your sentence structure is rather unusual. This world, disembodied, ghost. That makes no sense whatsoever, it's like saying: This chair, red, elephant.
Anyway, good luck with further writing.
Well that is what that happens when you write poems on painkillers, i have been sick with lung infection lately, and that pill i take, is painful.
I try to abstract and twist the language as much as possible to suit the actual thought appearing in my head.. its weird.. but it is a way, i have better writings, but mostly i am in some sort of altered consciousness when writing, (dissy, confused, brainfucked etc.) But i have made works that make perfect sense, but i tend to destroy them because they are no longer actually related to my current emotional situation. :)
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I always considered the abuse of grammar and ignorance of normal writing rules to be a reasonable tool in certain forms of poetry ... ?
Personally, I don't dislike the style you are offering. Content wise, a bit too short to say anything more than
good luck with further writing.
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I always considered the abuse of grammar and ignorance of normal writing rules to be a reasonable tool in certain forms of poetry ... ?
Personally, I don't dislike the style you are offering. Content wise, a bit too short to say anything more than
good luck with further writing.
Thanks, and i will. The short lines i posted were warmup, and a little test on how nice they would look in Italic.
I cant post some stuff i cratted down blindly while having some kind of sensory overwhelming(Some pattern i was drawing, my eyes didnt like it):
Edit: Shit, it happens that i might have thrown it out, but it was sentences like: "I can but keep my eyes closed", and stuff "I live in Perpetual Mad(ness) in this world of disease and disorder" my favorite, that i cratted down, with twitching eyes, and shaking hands: "Dark Void, reality is perception", its the boldness of this rather short sentence that impresses me. I actually stated there is no world/its dark void when i close my eyes, maybe i am referring to the closed eye visuals i always have, if they are not scary faces and images of hell, its this dark but volumetric void. Its peaceful, silent, and just there, the joy of existence in a silent void, volumetric, and with air to breather in of my minds mouth.
Jesus crist i am being poetic while trying to tell about when i am poetic. What the hay?
I think it means i need to get out with something, but sometimes i am clueless how to pull it out, this is when i type words coming to my mind, i'd recommend that, its a good way to empty the bucket when your angry.
Peaceful, Silent, Dead but dreaming. Resting but yet flying between theese obstructive mountains of nothing, sparks in the dark, i see my realm within, here it goes. Life, stuffed it seems, with input, demanding your output, why do some of us decide to turn the eyes in to the minds spacious void? Third Eye perception of the places inside, love to yourself and loneliness. We apdapt to survive, but can this adaptive mechanism be mislead? Into the mad world of sickening and disorder? Can it revolt and rage back, building a man strong of mind? Stronger than the monster luring within? Becoming the very shackles of my inner self, giving in to civilisation, but still consulting my wise cousin of my revolting angry clockworks? I live within, and out, but never i divide, like god in trinity, i live in binarity and minority with myself and the components of my mind. Is the dark places the reality, is my third eye my real eye? Are theese laughters and mocking of theese unknowing souls just ones of my angry subdued self? Am i insane, or am i uninsane?
Hell that was some weird third eye stuff. Not that i am mad, i just tend to slip into theese stays.
Enjoy the read, and have a nice day :)
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How Pooetic.
:P
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How Pooetic.
:P
Hurf du- AHAHAHAHAHA :)